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mentalhealth,LilUziVertsAutotune,2018/01/01,Any idea what this is? So I came here for awnsers not to be judged. So everybody who knows me thinks I’m a normal person that nothings wrong with me but I think something happened. So about last year I took a bunch of antidepressants cause I was bored and had nothing else to do and had to go to the hospital because of an overdose. Then later next month I took 3 tabs of lsd and I think it did something to my brain like my brain had enough. I feel like I’m still not the same for that trip also from when I od on antidepressants I didn’t feel the same either. My impulsive side is more powerful now like it is hard for me to hold them back like when I used to life with my family we had a dog and i would abuse it and do it just cause and feel nothing when I would do it. I have feelings but I can dull them when I do bad things. I used to go to a private school in my childhood but I had to leave when I threw a rock at a kid. My friends see me as normal but I’m acting when I’m around them normally my friends think I have a lazy attitude and that everything is boring for me. Does anyone know what this is I’m intrigued to know?,1.1988561847988102,2.8579991762295087,2.614962742175859,96.06871087928468,79.77868852459017,6.075707898658719,20.926974664679587,6.980632752743323,0.19362131147540973,885,24,213,10,22,287,123,244,0.114,0.784,0.102,-0.2073,1,0,2,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,3,1,17,11,0,0,11,0,23,3,2,4,0,44,49,23,1,5,8,0,5,4,2,2,1,0,0,2,14,12,0,1,12,1,0,8,3,5,0,0,12,6,35,6,27,34,6,29,0,1,1,0,9,5,0,0,20,145,49,1,0.0,0.1301822107661358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786585219123917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471779358921543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682615304671915,0.0,0.0,0.09781076957697292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448599127627124,0.09173983939637097,0.06697790690618463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453104772828388,0.0,0.12566609050716074,0.0,0.2257408396705777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615109929788393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178526693383628,0.0,0.0,0.11352876622880638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874727773294864,0.0,0.10357902089206172,0.0,0.22222150813032965,0.07849369853800282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697760913129605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488736083511295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716083283046363,0.0,0.09842513506458596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403388379120918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115091768073646,0.08956162209910516,0.0,0.11634024343576856,0.0,0.0,0.07760695003532762,0.21471470050560731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770003328131679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685178546846307,0.0,0.3229583031928118,0.3162799538160517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593736107376916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119791612630067,0.08755500787662637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917208031525513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774517289274694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299511603226617,0.2816101820796478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244147152413192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979096968122092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610205977556502,0.12012949776185194,0.0,0.07075497508953693
mentalhealth,Kyzzen,2018/01/01,"Advice, please. I've been getting so easily enraged lately.

(I suffer from untreated ptsd, (SEVERE-like worst case)anxiety, depression and agoraphobia as well as medical conditions causing me pain. Rely on marijuana for a LOT of relief regardless of if doctors think it helps or not, it does).

I've been catching myself in these fits of rage over the smallest things. While driving, talking to my boyfriend, playing video games, talking on reddit even... The smallest things are just absolutely setting me off. I know I have a lot I'm dealing with but I feel like I've been pretty decent in life lately. I don't understand why I'm so easily agitated and why it's getting worse.

I spend a lot of my time online and at one point I was literally holding a fight on like 7 different websites in messages with people while playing online competitive games and tearing people apart on mic. 

Reason would have me think something is wrong that I'm not understanding is upsetting me? I have a lot of small things I'm working through but for this anger to just have festered up... It's like I've never been heard my whole life and I almost see red and want to **make** people hear me.

Idk. Just thought I'd reach out and see if anyone has any clues.

Seeking a new therapist, insurance changes are fun. About to turn 26 and lose me great insurance as well so swap again in a few months...
",3.7505512820512834,6.140821850000003,4.610384615384618,81.30378205128206,74.73076923076924,7.564102564102564,28.525641025641036,8.472884824447931,2.3288333333333338,1091,46,196,21,24,352,155,260,0.14,0.682,0.177,0.7747,1,0,1,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,0,2,11,21,4,1,9,0,16,5,0,3,1,41,36,21,0,5,10,0,1,3,0,1,5,2,0,0,10,11,0,1,8,5,1,2,4,11,2,1,7,6,19,10,32,28,7,29,0,3,3,0,10,17,0,8,12,122,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688748502384396,0.0,0.0,0.10953094970295836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438397056076397,0.0,0.08367744773405138,0.0,0.0,0.07648291032176224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236613908016978,0.11571236756560327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276873596210535,0.09421113854483537,0.0,0.0,0.1142816154872319,0.0,0.1119578038102516,0.09572151687026273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224622587470861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530716755908351,0.07814300557851354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429586719613867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059478642689984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328222552447946,0.0,0.0733169020240828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060113858116585615,0.0,0.2467768457674573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545204377547816,0.1603165510599099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237123542093155,0.0,0.3719729582396451,0.0,0.0,0.07301378558958056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019153841251668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730820839866278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436266294677906,0.10564247007174334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412053209252249,0.0,0.11639087929882964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274965248915145,0.0,0.0,0.1200693312290841,0.10340198441005667,0.0,0.0,0.1112815052573676,0.0,0.0,0.12786249476837588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246360857029836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432766187256524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420812792636742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583530322729402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700171748619818,0.21800696866966945,0.1401760041830744,0.0,0.08683762656765981,0.06378191799832861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897694144425976,0.0,0.227742446572769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451673630265366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966963240814404,0.0,0.19740170337694346,0.12212185145534647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796318908575845,0.0,0.11147029165092788,0.07770231467659545,0.11959278500813113,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,somerandomperson93,2018/01/01,"Can aggressive behavior in humans be modified by beta blockers? If one uses beta blockers for agression. Will this recondition his brain to cure his aggresion or will he just treating the symptons? I can't find any researches on that.  So I don't know. 

And if it cures. How long will it need to be taken? ",2.283719211822657,5.06011205172414,4.120738916256162,80.27672413793105,83.65517241379311,7.452216748768473,27.25123152709359,8.418075326091056,2.6039921182266017,241,11,42,6,7,81,47,58,0.039,0.961,0.0,-0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,8,1,1,2,0,12,12,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,4,1,6,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,1,31,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930712399773585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.481099898050898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938945539504852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368473046710911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381390803702856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31955537195645256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920332980933311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372215720975258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,121802,2018/01/01,"I heard my parents having sex and i need serious advice Okay, i am a 15-year-old girl from the US, but this happened over 2 years ago. One night, my parents thought i was asleep but they were very much mistaken. I naturally woke up to go the bathroom, when i heard muffling and rustling in the room next door. I didnt want it to be what i thought it was, but me being utterly dumb, i walked out into the hallway, and their door wasnt shut so i could clearly make out soft moaning and talking. I immediately ran back in my room and turned on the tv and kind of laughed, but then i started hearing it through the tv volume. It was so disturbing to even think of the thought. I waited about 2 weeks to tell my mom and she completely understood, after I was crying on her lap telling her what I heard. I felt like she thought I was dumb. She said she would make sure I was asleep and always shut her door, most importantly be quiet. Every night since then, I feel like they are doing it when I know for a hundred percent they arent, especially because I peek outside my room and on the wall i see the reflection of their tv, meaning their door wasn't shut. That was one sign, then if I kept having thoughts, I would go in there to ""get some water""really I would be checking to see if they were asleep or not. I know this sounds really ridiculous, but I think they might have given me PTSD? At night I turn on my tv and I wear noise canceling ear muffs to ensure I don't hear anything. I even purposely breathe heavily or grind my teeth to drown out any imagined sounds. It hurts so bad that it had to happen to me, I hate going to bed every night. I've begged my mom for sleeping pills, I even said she could lock them up and give them to me so she doesn't think I'm popping them. She said no. Inside, I do want to talk to a therapist, ive only had this thought one time and it lasted for about a minute, but I thought about cutting my wrists with the sharp edge of a tape dispenser. I've never had that thought since. But if I did see a therapist, my mom would have to quit her job and id have to quit cheerleading which I love more than anything. Ugh, it is so hard to think about. And the thing is, I don't even have a problem with anybody else doing it, just my parents. I'm not scared of it, I am ready to lose it but my parents doing it is so ew. Please please please if anybody has any solutions or advice can you tell me. I need help.",2.321256271892455,3.9037916003976174,3.250097983527408,93.09189032471838,76.33598409542743,6.380933446937424,24.501041370822684,7.07126945348624,0.7388504591498632,1897,63,428,20,42,604,227,503,0.128,0.7609999999999999,0.111,-0.8962,6,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,1,11,3,19,20,5,2,18,1,50,12,9,2,3,80,104,40,1,15,18,7,5,2,0,5,1,12,8,1,23,20,0,2,20,4,1,5,11,13,0,3,36,20,82,7,51,57,5,46,0,2,3,2,48,22,2,10,21,281,105,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285957016486726,0.05832668879776851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054749893911937006,0.0,0.0,0.08949091545695767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829365404893727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059523534761705,0.05493927093586248,0.04011035334754918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898881673973797,0.0,0.0,0.10507001624402032,0.0,0.07227692021868201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549664756465441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383801491361026,0.0,0.11087669685305576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03326986324392644,0.04700669413759447,0.06317719118520942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437717061626111,0.06312022914493724,0.11218496672542423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637136830300668,0.0,0.05894282350821351,0.06496271788180799,0.0,0.0,0.14832011707071024,0.0,0.04410356580281922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043900366109904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529518145727116,0.0,0.0,0.06851935143968083,0.07232262749550727,0.05363482489541735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429196509720926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736120551300238,0.0,0.0,0.05938600903858377,0.0,0.0878424540143623,0.0,0.0,0.07167421063724633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980215583227863,0.0,0.23118836779658514,0.0,0.0,0.0483697077071049,0.0975779908590856,0.0507481106519227,0.0,0.06997779746979939,0.24699096186764005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904479888652662,0.0,0.13376096128865728,0.0500429718579852,0.0,0.0,0.2922472361375135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668205439270896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296058974922526,0.07691530596692912,0.0,0.0,0.13997030067186145,0.0,0.0,0.04215241253819668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18776925270215689,0.0,0.06587610309792645,0.0,0.1572994349404485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885893692292874,0.0,0.0658463446993365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046572747406272916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062014614406778364,0.0,0.0,0.1057732071630129,0.17253322125803852,0.0,0.0,0.15279501587188535,0.04371381597219179,0.16864492235184084,0.0,0.4178953416476234,0.038367824332584316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314045523313212,0.0,0.0,0.07914788557032144,0.0,0.0,0.054290922109373724,0.07761970422516136,0.0,0.0527798489518264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186966391310147,0.0,0.0,0.08474457274138285
mentalhealth,Mewdot,2018/01/01,"From the inside out This will probably be a long post, I apologize. 
Since mid summer 2017, I've felt in a way I can only describe as less than alive. My feelings are taking a toll on my mind, since I've started breaking down, throwing fits like a child, and having no recollection or memory of almost anything (though I blame this on substance abuse). 
Feeling this way isn't new; I've been sad for as long as I can remember. I have a memory of being in the 4th or 5th grade, talking to myself about how I'm feeling and knowing that I probably wouldn't die from natural causes or old age, but because I wanted to kill myselg.
Growing up wasn't hard, it just wasn't fun. I have an awesome mom who taught me to be myself no matter what, and always accepted me. My dad was a hardcore, workaholic muslim, enough said.
I was sexually abused as a kid, and I hold no grudge against anyone in my family for the way they dealt with it (or didnt), but I'm upset I was never allowed to find answers and now that I can, I'm just too sad to care.
In school, I was mad fun of a lot for anything you can think of. Whatever, kids are mean. Eventually I hit puberty and mean jokes just became manipulation from boys I was naive enough to fall for. In college, I never met anyone good and my only friend slept with my boyfriend for some drugs. I also had a respected professor offer me some coke to sleep witb him in his office. Sounds like college, right?
Since I was in the 8th grade, I've been self harming. As I grew and began to socialize, it became self harm+ drugs+ sex. All of this  messes with a developing girl's mind.
I'm 21 now, moved out, highly depressed, and living with my boyfriend. Things should be fine but I can find no motivation for anything but laying in bed. He doesn't seem to understand how I feel at all, but I know our life experiences are very different. I can't expect him to understand my reality if even I dont.
I know the answer waiting to be fired is ""go get some help"". I don't believe there is help for me. In the 8th grade, I tried. I wrote a note to a teacher about what I was dealing with and the school called my parents and I had to talk to all these counselors, etc. Long story short, the doctor at the facility told me I was lying about how I was feeling and told me to take a sick day. Late in college, I went to see the counselors who told me I was at a severe turning point, it's now or never, but they simply didn't have the means to help me. Me being poor, all I had was the money I was giving them anyways to go to school there and use their facilities.
I can't write about all my experiences here obviously, but where do i begin to cope? How do i start getting better with what seems like no hope? I don't feel like myself or I would even recognize myself if she came out. How do i get to that point?",3.8795353669319184,4.52272726034483,5.183793103448277,84.38564544650751,71.22413793103449,8.017683465959328,26.25110521662245,8.139509932561175,1.4554089301503097,2201,66,467,30,39,736,270,580,0.145,0.737,0.118,-0.9768,3,0,2,0,2,0,74.0,1,1,4,2,25,24,2,1,27,0,55,9,2,10,9,103,107,40,2,8,18,3,9,4,1,4,5,2,1,7,18,23,1,2,26,1,2,9,20,9,0,0,33,12,75,15,73,63,13,61,0,3,1,1,42,28,0,16,23,318,93,13,0.0,0.17149299353037736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724680004300969,0.0,0.0,0.05787418239671269,0.06021755372534245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120543267676654,0.0,0.17866278265199698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411601895582667,0.0,0.0,0.0815360941914834,0.0,0.06400529493412765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389775871836057,0.08277188534248775,0.07378593563040728,0.07434382188115121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667259809500143,0.07461018852083055,0.06233208830109,0.0,0.07510852983460083,0.07561114171602222,0.0,0.07407365860222134,0.0,0.0,0.08481698310373871,0.0,0.16785221474302095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955490352951492,0.080711567940271,0.095599272022378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158329659929064,0.06822390039002879,0.0,0.21955437362655408,0.05170107058534737,0.06948645253141066,0.0,0.13228955390478495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591280474843508,0.0,0.11343085642355695,0.06942380191283755,0.08225896317814416,0.06070043804281744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648292149577181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552405420997913,0.07646277209012131,0.0,0.07187963937849508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800665711838485,0.0,0.1193178122072792,0.0,0.08163639872434626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051117000172280186,0.1414251091911228,0.0,0.06390394704055438,0.1921352508401801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152630049040591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364961092004348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614593609191107,0.08475875150161583,0.0,0.07691774998128723,0.0,0.0,0.16744838362009146,0.06989529979752214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759400354837653,0.0,0.0,0.11008113919932197,0.0,0.0,0.08035820887388337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682589388702193,0.0,0.06931035872897474,0.0,0.15605398356328154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198098834161134,0.06180349865777349,0.06884034686134975,0.0,0.0,0.21972660548563644,0.057669440052420314,0.13176567676504444,0.15099517670746626,0.08175738703930878,0.0,0.17959538587921098,0.0,0.0724221640671565,0.07377199867311622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244757455000597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882631559433094,0.11633636761534982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048079345433604,0.04637170936149534,0.07110305870992124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207457620636928,0.0,0.04913441120174509,0.0787176689980015,0.0,0.1506792350558883,0.0,0.06250435705485098,0.0,0.059712746186834226,0.042685641700437774,0.17233157278586353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708762177874818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140950013374124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1gudboi,2018/01/01,2018 is not taking me any further down if anything I'm taking my self back up. It's all in place and I'm ready for it. 2017 was a year if highs and lows but more than anything else it taught me the most about myself. I have developed a proactive approach to dealing with my anxiety and misery. I slowly developed a more healthy active lifestyle. And it's only going to get better. I am better with people now like I was as a child. Im getting that fucking confidence back even if it kills me. I'm stopping all the anger as best I can. All the last two years have just been a low point of life. I struggled to adjust properly that is all that was really wrong. I plan to have my social anxiety to be at its least effect by the middle of the year. I was never really that bad anyway. The overthinking is already being defeated thanks to therapy. I think I'm going to make many new friends this year. And Im sure I'll learn more about myself that I might not necessarily like but I'll deal with it. I'm going to go from hating myself to becoming the greatest freind to myself that has ever been. ,2.3161160714285742,4.210650522321431,4.054785714285714,85.9402142857143,77.25892857142857,6.801428571428571,22.807142857142853,7.7348632917899725,1.1005864285714284,863,26,173,13,20,290,125,224,0.152,0.63,0.218,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,6,9,18,4,1,12,0,18,2,0,2,7,31,37,12,1,3,8,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,14,8,0,1,4,0,0,5,3,10,0,1,7,0,20,8,27,27,11,28,0,3,0,1,6,11,1,5,14,123,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533394610067315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339796132807642,0.0,0.18763527941697652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184104557055765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18860191380810973,0.10239750413784704,0.0,0.13544389922441105,0.0,0.0,0.1287008850398315,0.21692647108357085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528685309451469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244820911494516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810011606825488,0.11093298028037353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474971902672674,0.11337674049539467,0.12814645736873972,0.0,0.27879172520949824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107951306587166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295736496163951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26493990237691883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568063983260276,0.0,0.0,0.09996623745831623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662275887614543,0.1198293433809371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186173474084794,0.12433555781042704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009940647029425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458589060154582,0.11844442515270905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327163121404383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502166189006871,0.0,0.12813047861069135,0.0,0.11593243318507385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712992778295845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279380513264612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250138707540594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253075596227268,0.0,0.12820773586506268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155847470698764,0.0,0.18441684103792605,0.0,0.0,0.1129084795951109,0.1402470995663053,0.0,0.0,0.07858139924403795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979938518210015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408526573715934,0.0,0.31589908603178674
mentalhealth,REBANXZA,2018/01/01,"How do I tell my mom that I may be autistic? That I can’t take going to school? I’ve talked to a lot of doctors and psychologists online. They’ve all “diagnosed” the same: Aspergers and OCD, with the occasional and excessive “You should go see a doctor ...” In order to do that, I’d have to tell my mother which would be terrifying. I’m starting a new school very soon (Tomorrow) and I just can’t do it. I haven’t even been registered and I already know that I will not be able to bare it. The lights, socializing, the noises, crooked items, my compulsions, and the teacher’s sloppy erasing job ... I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t think when I’m there. Like how am I supposed to pass if I can’t even function? I need quiet and low light to work. The noise and bright lights throw me off, as well as being around people. I just can’t do it anymore man. I should state that I am a 16 year old black female. Black families don’t grasp the concept of Mental Illness and if I tell them, specifically my mother, they’ll just write me off as overdramatic or say that I’m just trying to get out of going to school. I think about ending it all, but I can’t bare the thought of leaving my mother alone. But at the same time, I can’t do it anymore ... What should I do? ",2.4048608058608067,3.8362805923076944,3.897802197802197,89.16910256410256,75.76923076923076,6.9523809523809526,23.534798534798533,7.62386473244151,0.8926336996336994,974,29,216,13,21,323,132,260,0.04,0.937,0.023,-0.6072,1,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,2,1,15,4,0,0,13,0,32,4,0,2,2,42,47,20,0,7,11,4,0,1,0,7,4,2,0,1,14,12,0,0,5,0,0,5,11,1,1,0,2,9,30,3,24,34,6,23,0,1,4,0,15,7,0,5,10,146,44,7,0.12942422036622914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404445999679862,0.14282284551124966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850621478335618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521499565409685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136285931328645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26494234743724976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463144410065396,0.0,0.0,0.17096695384600233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200963650064175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676188133536528,0.0,0.2206643010493704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843356822866736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112816677750697,0.0,0.0,0.1370415619856682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323013660105245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003184390144943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042917322765613,0.0,0.0,0.1515800826666282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596641947321732,0.0,0.12499871852306828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580894777710806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972645837284564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292333474305823,0.0,0.3929526619199367,0.10313434702158612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319316938869748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916071293180234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973109066724442,0.104026285828041,0.3393674196105393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585962897941742,0.0,0.10274837414508306,0.07546830369755791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787054999972055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678853620300396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163679173332512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422237386163984,0.0,0.0,0.09193925278587868,0.0,0.0,0.08334495457610548
mentalhealth,gemziebubs,2018/01/01,"Help Hi guys. I write as I feel like I’ve exhausted all other options and I don’t know what to do to make this situation any better.

My father broke his calneus (heel bone) over two years ago and was misdiagnosed by our local hospital for almost two weeks, to the point that the bone had worn through the tissue and skin and infection set in to the bone. This is further complicated by my father being a long term type one diabetic which has caused vascular problems and neuropathy in his legs which has severely hindered his recovery. It has been a long recovery process and doctors cannot give any guarantee as to how long it will take the leg to heal and to what degree This will heal. This has left him with debilitating pain to the point that he is now no longer able to walk, and due to ongoing kidney issues he is extremely limited to the use of painkilling medications. The wound is still healing, 2.5 years down the line, and he is having weekly wound clinic, physiotherapist and podiatry appointments to try and yet we are still no closer to coming to an end of what is becoming a living nightmare.

My father was forced in to early retirement at the age of 55 due to ill health caused by what has happened, and my mother has been forced to cut her hours by half to care for him. My mother is at breaking point emotionally, and financially this whole experience has placed a great strain on my family. I work full time as a nurse for our local ambulance service, and have chosen to move in with my family in order to support when I’m not working and to support financially.

In my opinion my fathers depression has been spiralling recently and having spoken to our family doctor is concerned about offering antidepressants due to risks of further damage to his kidneys, and although he has been offered and has attended counselling sessions he has found this useless as talking about his issues does not solve any of them, regardless of what ever he talks about, his pain is still constant, his mobility is restricted to a wheelchair, his life has been greatly impacted and he cannot mentally cope.

Last night (New Years eve), I was working the night shift, however the rest of my family had a party. My father was having a particularly bad night pain wise and was very snappy due to this. He was apparently unable to eat because the pain was making him so nauseous and he had a diabetic hypo, this caused him to become weak while manoeuvring from his wheelchair and he ended up collapsed in an armchair that was pushed under him as he was collapsing to break his fall. He ended up staying at our relatives over night due to being in so much pain that he could not be elevated out of the chair, and so at the end of my 12 hour shift on the worst night of the year for the ambulance service, I was called to drive down to my relatives house at 6:30am, with the support of my older brother who came from his house, to lift my father out of the chair and get him safely in to the car to get him home.

My father broke down today, horrified that he had ruined everyones Christmas and New Year... that he was destroying the life he and my mother had worked so hard together to build, and that he was destroying my life in the process. Today my father declared in front of everyone that he has been suicidal for months, and that he has on several occasions thought of overdosing on his insulin as well has overdosing on his other medications around the house. Unfortunately only my father knows his doses that he needs with regards to his insulin so I am unable to take over his insulin care, however I have taken care of his other medications along side my mother, in an attempt to make it more difficult for him to access the medications to take an overdose.

I feel like my family is coming to breaking point, my father has specifically said he’d rather die than live another day, and although my mother is a strong woman, she is now at breaking point. I am having to hold down a tough full time mentally draining job to supplement the family income while paying off my own debts, as well as come home and help care for my father, and all while trying to hold everything together.

I feel like I need help but I also need to get my father help. I just don’t know where else to turn and I feel like I am starting to mentally suffocate

",13.091308654848802,7.962553874695864,12.08069690649983,60.73822992700733,57.09002433090024,15.587139381299965,45.17222801529371,12.724861955154994,5.477979005908934,3463,130,620,79,28,1130,340,822,0.092,0.852,0.056,-0.9572,6,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,5,0,1,8,25,42,3,2,41,0,74,41,9,8,3,86,115,54,2,7,6,18,6,4,0,2,31,1,2,2,32,45,1,5,9,0,2,12,9,23,2,4,29,7,77,19,131,79,11,127,0,6,0,0,88,53,0,3,59,431,109,12,0.050837517879914536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506439224023779,0.0,0.05090643069249125,0.0,0.0,0.04065474468147833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371376635333507,0.053307570101930414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045256169092811965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04244720394518818,0.03099007904281453,0.11229208879486992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496165329771435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191078973063964,0.058144577185328464,0.20732895048612154,0.15667240410441713,0.0,0.13137606057624052,0.0,0.054937296469088036,0.0,0.04058962134063265,0.0,0.0,0.032785993349623774,0.0,0.043786279657025716,0.0,0.05276131735038278,0.0,0.0,0.10406870744034402,0.04448825448470066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201947239140471,0.04246822286085455,0.05718536507206502,0.18010780586747172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598544542520877,0.0,0.0971548538564508,0.04568948304839108,0.04972884744142087,0.287550524603742,0.0,0.10281990614634247,0.14527333172490928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574071436193318,0.0,0.0,0.07968151455325047,0.04876797951523637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120970858696197,0.0,0.050337135364290714,0.04495544916772735,0.0,0.04554043051425312,0.0,0.0,0.054037904236839074,0.0,0.0,0.13630126650408594,0.0,0.10198835094279952,0.0,0.10012942934713974,0.17597901017284678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612232132966017,0.0504483921381209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381691093255161,0.041439362265255665,0.0,0.0,0.05523511192509692,0.0,0.1077241269678054,0.0993465733356412,0.0,0.08978091934893648,0.1349688106809955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180331383391653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485380354350236,0.15369678273341786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057802175353605,0.05403223609325042,0.03737142508151469,0.11308612604431967,0.0,0.09819838311409307,0.0,0.238537833511963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034448817800733965,0.03866422317396672,0.270473516678727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311438597039364,0.0,0.2402894326723088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864463885432036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050195915822560666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835812117825358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486384976029315,0.0,0.0,0.057143500105525484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035983056814672044,0.054186029913001234,0.12179672234519615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055607993297587435,0.17306943851485204,0.0,0.0,0.11467045991559825,0.08172254236184767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04035931059080019,0.059287531000534674,0.0,0.09637604535043504,0.0,0.0,0.0690306751562914,0.05529662109259708,0.0993217359768292,0.0,0.0,0.04390729289489302,0.0,0.04194627638650762,0.0,0.0,0.08155758074292074,0.0,0.09141806782899824,0.0,0.0,0.056758273200496076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148041273953974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368847370584613
mentalhealth,Finlin,2018/01/01,"I don't know what's wrong with me, and my wife asked me to get help I've been having a ton of frustration surrounding everything in my life. I've been accidentally taking it out on my wife (verbally) and she said that after a recent situation that she doesn't feel safe around me and that I need to get help. Problem is, we're flat broke and I have shit insurance that doesn't cover mental health. Is there some way to see a professional about this that won't cost an arm and a leg?",4.942633333333333,4.943788530000006,5.896000000000001,82.47633333333336,68.7,9.866666666666667,25.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,1.8474666666666668,383,9,85,8,6,127,68,100,0.168,0.753,0.079,-0.8423,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,5,0,10,5,3,0,0,14,19,5,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,3,3,11,1,11,15,2,8,0,1,1,0,8,5,1,1,2,53,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431778867937293,0.2250679600695022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163698158532412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217300058712039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515629926261741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559050925666292,0.0,0.0,0.32273816605472805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230943880203916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700482471373757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426185222395238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851244703185226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036442631686455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23771074519729565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290075762788896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184590569197704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471255467320766,0.0,0.270612135881402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810134020664826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109547234708132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26322140626061497,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Phantomherb,2018/01/01,"I need a new job and some advice I've been struggling with severe anxiety and it feels like every day it gets a little worse, even if I try facing what I'm anxious about to try and not let my anxiety reinforce itself it doesn't really seem to help at all. 
I am also very slow mentally. 
I don't really know much and trying to learn anything takes such a long time and no one has the time for my bs.
I didn't realize it until recently but I'm slow physically too. People will tell me to hurry the hell up and get mad because they think I'm moving slow on purpose or something.
I don't realize I'm doing something wrong when it's happening unless someone mentions it, I feel like I'm moving at a normal pace. 
I have trouble speaking up for many reasons, including a damaged voice, and I have been working on trying to fix it but it's going to take too much time! No one can ever hear what I'm saying they can just see my mouth moving even though it feels like I'm yelling.
I work at fast food so I'm REQUIRED to move and think fast and speak loud.
I guess my coworkers were all complaining about me to my manager, so he just moved my shift to morning to have other people deal with my slowness. I had told him that it wasn't a good schedule for me but he basically just told me to figure it out which made me upset.
Anyone I have ever worked with (or tried socializing with in general) don't think of me as an actual human being, everyone just patronizes me and baby talks me and feels bad for me. I didn't really realize it, I just thought everyone was being nice, until I learned what the word ""patronize"" meant a few weeks ago, and then it was just kind of clear to me how people actually think of me. 
I have thought of getting mental help for all of this instead of asking other people for help but the thing is that I don't have money without a job for mental help, even with a job I have been struggling to afford anything... any kind of free mental help I've tried to get hasn't helped much.
 
My overall question is does anyone know of some jobs or ways to make money that would be good for my situation? 
I commission art but I get barely anything from it. 
And I disagree with doing anything NSFW for money.
I have tried online surveys but a lot of them are scammy or take too long.
I've been applying to jobs like CRAZY and I just barely got the job I have now. Seems like fast food is really the only thing willing to hire me but I need something better!
I just don't know what to do.",5.161399739583332,5.008823173828127,6.2769375000000025,80.45764583333336,68.23828125,9.170416666666666,28.785416666666666,8.841846274778883,2.083956822916666,1963,60,399,30,30,660,226,512,0.123,0.7879999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.942,7,0,3,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,3,5,27,22,2,3,17,0,45,4,2,4,6,88,90,37,0,5,23,0,4,5,0,3,0,7,0,1,28,21,2,1,24,1,4,6,14,10,0,2,18,12,52,13,59,65,10,42,1,1,1,0,27,10,1,12,30,268,80,14,0.0,0.0,0.11442888831192695,0.0,0.0,0.05729257910656671,0.05197197712097471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688640754724868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039870425585019915,0.0,0.0897036129659014,0.06623523668026651,0.0,0.0819909494349599,0.0,0.19299005057847368,0.0,0.05481115625813005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048953619534646296,0.03574031733090241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185349009153035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037811513959210216,0.06044497842207821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05130752750208982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617373007198036,0.10606842337053872,0.04939832237070799,0.11204699743649443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858040337770415,0.125655898660161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179131106768122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315883359561816,0.0,0.03332079272884606,0.0983521618279903,0.04689178468414706,0.0,0.06458757942787394,0.0,0.05184633497668887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608029608629316,0.0,0.2357908079580767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490875014599169,0.0,0.0,0.12210829171922268,0.09666458063197353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059953169974798236,0.0,0.14321833657830152,0.058762684874252125,0.0,0.10377144928325567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04984514821986522,0.0,0.05547714459228992,0.039135995068344885,0.059441640134956925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634108967763484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115721746632277,0.1292994370562349,0.08694683708211973,0.0,0.056625240758993375,0.0,0.0,0.05744497339462772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945844075916576,0.044590773830594885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258670065890418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567904294180088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502395740395851,0.060281427607604625,0.057890073714721636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662494686670393,0.0,0.0,0.0467205368152724,0.10674914038864812,0.0,0.06623523668026651,0.0,0.0,0.06590260142119506,0.0,0.05976592414995889,0.04967702752339142,0.13540876641155142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258565823025665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224744022762552,0.04712459095482325,0.051245223599788885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790236306588245,0.1502710033211033,0.05760369910156483,0.09309137713258604,0.10256291225317794,0.0,0.0,0.11204699743649443,0.0,0.2786415553459262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048375908523251215,0.0,0.0465377825959882,0.04702946727669835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056517249155073584,0.0,0.12805006326079912,0.0,0.059749001494592134,0.04164908557235776,0.06410272534829045,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pt141_anhedonic,2018/01/01,"Curing drug induced anhedonia CBT and MBCT are useless for me.

Anhedonia was induced by a melanocortin agonist bremelanotide for sexual dysfunction

I know exercise diet yada yada yada. Well fact is those do not really help.

My life feels hopeless. I used to be pursuing my passions and dreams before this happened overnight and now I do not want to live.

How is anhedonia cured?

Jackie kelms program is not of interest-saw the statistics and its not a cure.

I want FULL emotional range back as before. 100.0% 

One thing is for sure that I do not want any willy nilly stupid therapy solutions that do not actually cure this problem. Those solutions are acceptance based and I have set in my mind that unless this is resolved I will be killing myself most likely. Life was beautiful before this but not anymore and doing some ""mindful observation"" is frankly useless. ",5.942066365007541,8.509662392156871,6.275816993464055,71.03040723981903,68.86928104575163,9.936450477626947,33.99145299145299,10.214889679676881,4.217586626445452,698,34,107,20,13,224,100,153,0.134,0.76,0.106,-0.6791,0,0,1,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,0,1,4,12,2,0,3,0,19,6,0,4,2,33,26,10,1,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,11,6,1,0,6,2,0,0,7,6,1,1,2,2,12,6,10,21,3,5,0,3,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.17434477556208558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149380288020513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718107397139507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737724144653518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560752852073702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071869630408212,0.0,0.0,0.20096659438714776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033502867121958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798698682779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975092449554953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765899127479974,0.0,0.09818595556711916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523833490470453,0.08728344429617832,0.0,0.15775859417671978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607880027796889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106352010435555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709519103957076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445311233415455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838337835649614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043113908048597,0.0,0.11869266760203015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430345003001691,0.0,0.0,0.31613196702476226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063531057198527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Skaterdreww,2018/01/01,"What would be wrong with someone who was like this? So basically I know someone who will act completely different one day to the next. So last week this person was the nicest person you could ever of met, chatting, being very kind and just all round being a very friendly and happy person. But last night this person would hardly speak, was very arrogant and just deliberately seemed like they were trying to be very anti social to everyone. The thing is this person either acts two ways extremely nice or extremely arrogant and anti social. I understand maybe someone might not feel good on a particular day, but you can easily still put a face on and smile to people. Why would this happen to someone? Is there any mental health disorders that would cause this? Or is it simply if they are not in a good mood then everyone round about them suffers to?",6.939999999999998,7.931331566878981,6.767394904458603,74.50714331210193,64.54140127388536,9.846878980891722,28.438853503184713,9.888512548439397,2.7116960509554144,684,20,116,14,10,216,99,157,0.109,0.765,0.126,0.4466,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,3,0,8,11,0,0,7,0,20,2,1,1,2,29,26,13,0,6,10,0,4,2,1,6,1,1,0,5,12,6,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,2,0,2,5,5,7,8,12,10,2,17,0,1,2,0,18,3,0,5,12,82,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060010707923134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665014775810197,0.0,0.0,0.10885167112716783,0.0,0.0,0.08289058570657055,0.0,0.0,0.13390862501106954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846818514474373,0.11898493978204318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093909733064134,0.0,0.19840595882415174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052493728453639865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020987806523258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741559829032494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180631376042292,0.11051667207548613,0.09300094048615687,0.0,0.0,0.11035415913237848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811094118190404,0.057055905835380484,0.1692517888081516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144090262168126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429958863992944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046245807113505,0.11013497070527334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041210092241814,0.09742658384048304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035006955197343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197464228028153,0.4532513367528434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043662185660554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945124190608849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116596741952841,0.35186014807397303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290954944375854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897236602664812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048591371924112,0.0,0.10141554166546472,0.10807866932425336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426443808094035,0.0,0.0824062544178412,0.08327689952879776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936800045155571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29499859688132385,0.11350917897802025,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinkrunner9696,2018/01/01,"I overdose on Benadryl most nights to stop myself from feeling. I'm definitely not taking potentially lethal doses but I will say that my dosage amount is enough for poison control to say go the ER.

I know some people take Benadryl to trip, but that isn't me. I have never hallucinated and I honesty hate the physical effects, but they're still a working distraction like other types of self harm.

I have been doing this almost nightly for maybe a month. I know this must be horrible for my body but when nights get hard I just need a way to feel anything but what I'm feeling.

Please please no lectures, i know I'm being stupid with what I'm doing. I don't even know the long term effects of this and I know I need to find some other way to cope but I can't tell anyone about this and I can't do it on my own.",2.243373253493015,4.145633976047908,3.5196646706586847,89.65801996007988,77.50299401197606,5.890459081836327,22.51057884231537,6.742157984588678,0.5139184830339323,642,19,135,6,15,209,98,167,0.21,0.711,0.08,-0.9796,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,5,6,3,1,6,0,15,3,1,3,2,33,34,10,1,3,8,0,4,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,11,4,0,2,11,0,0,2,7,5,1,0,1,6,19,1,16,29,7,16,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,11,88,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431334499476491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994675337042942,0.0,0.11762718398214415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877376993397213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031901451247155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476949079022539,0.0,0.09441031583482064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682380334598267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306442852710711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468008736757899,0.0,0.08123591874293326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280458842416486,0.14112334901563958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927795716747077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983311139954314,0.0,0.0,0.1264971258398827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436021290067263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409309524604062,0.0,0.0,0.21197593495557696,0.11024389934616853,0.0,0.0,0.4024176425943134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909638188150152,0.0,0.0,0.3138097069062778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734275417032135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491172685828559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415181948813695,0.1195039795925612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21494571264090007,0.0,0.1249355876432074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269177420962827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406179527532093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyLifelines,2018/01/01,"I’m so worried that I barely eat any food I’m sitting here just feeling so worried that I don’t know what to do. Im so afraid that I’ll ruin my teeth. I barely ever eat more than one small meal about ever 24 hours. Usually just a few sandwiches or something. It has to be either no sugar, or next to no sugar. Now I’m thinking I’ll eat one meal every other day instead. I spend around 40-50 minutes cleaning my teeth. First I floss, then I brush, then I rinse with mouthwash. I spend about 20-30 minutes on brushing them.

I don’t know what to do. It’s stressful. Right now I actually want to eat but I’m afraid for my teeth. I actually went to make some sandwiches hours ago but I figured it wouldn’t be worth it. Geez, I’ve barely eaten anything in a while now - especially these last couple of weeks. I feel like I’m always sick now. Could that be because I barely eat? I was sick in early December, and then again around Christmas. Still not a hundred percent.",1.3672613065326615,3.474483452261307,3.1739170854271386,90.02921733668344,81.31155778894473,5.387035175879396,23.015326633165827,6.508806274219699,0.5840168844221107,753,26,157,7,20,251,112,199,0.111,0.845,0.044,-0.9031,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,1,19,5,0,3,3,0,11,18,3,1,2,25,25,12,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,12,4,13,0,6,0,3,1,6,4,0,3,3,6,19,1,17,17,5,31,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,3,23,96,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.23743909476637226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784146715805004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122825430194432,0.0,0.0,0.08273083745296167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011323098621112,0.21660079855970504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741608934500838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713310441264757,0.13461100304123896,0.0,0.07845861109606839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6224267037232719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22009119200515748,0.10250115263468668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302672887235712,0.08691168599719723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348126404510967,0.1471079595472144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396150048785587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141028659035905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371885870090786,0.09916657925742224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059435397289537624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812068995766034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293834521242489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487567539740985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389429480005648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936573954196692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715532655824627,0.0,0.13935752354549905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795280441101324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339878451334892,0.0,0.07175636879575052,0.0,0.09758579587948406,0.0,0.0,0.11277712922226744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470968959620381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,signature_shart,2018/01/01,Really nervous about medications My therapist said that we should just think about meds being a possibility for me and to talk to my parents about it (I'm still in high school). I don't know why but I'm really hesitant to talk to them about it even though meds would probably help me a ton. My older brother takes meds and I think I should ask him about it too but I'm super scared to do that too. Anyone have advice on how to get over it and just talk to them? ,2.428750000000001,4.028024375000005,3.962916666666669,88.02375000000002,76.08333333333334,7.716666666666668,20.333333333333336,8.472884824447931,0.8641083333333328,364,8,81,7,8,121,57,96,0.085,0.825,0.09,0.343,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,2,1,13,3,0,2,2,0,7,1,0,1,0,15,17,7,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,12,1,16,12,1,6,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,0,2,57,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594783021373908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411405814179308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257107071362255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779283875715433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526587952600223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093903093534838,0.17243100472367942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969109924536528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5438391524280622,0.1644080170098034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121559440177784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18398480655426264,0.0,0.0,0.17595847260961173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091017070213516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524169279186667,0.0,0.16339284966440346,0.16516830483971234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033267141536525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270697507664045,0.3935247743210535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189489146168172,0.0,0.2091454499330173,0.16034432858160105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472636786549945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593343424634225,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ultimatepupper909,2018/01/01,"Need advice relating to past trauma due to a relatives alcohol use Sorry if this isn’t allowed, mods please delete if it isn’t. 

So long story short, my mum is an alcoholic and it has caused me a lot of trauma in the past. I’ve had my own issues with alcohol, not abuse but it’s taken me a long time to be able to enjoy it in a healthy way without the negative connotations. 
I want to have a small get together for my birthday this year (which would actually be joined with my grandpas birthday as well) and invite some friends and have a few drinks. The problem is, it would be at my parents home, and all of my family would be there. I don’t know how to explain it but something about drinking around my Mum (when she’s also drinking) and my family members who her drinking has affected so much just irks me. I don’t think I could enjoy it. I don’t have any other choice of location as I can only come home for a couple of days due to being flat out at uni. 

It really sucks because I want to enjoy myself and have a nice birthday, but don’t know if I can do that when drinking. Of course being around my Mum drinking would make it hard anyway, but I’m not sure what to do. Would it be smart to just forget about alcohol all together or is there some other alternative?",5.3158205128205145,5.061819453846155,6.3738461538461575,80.23782051282053,67.92307692307692,9.548717948717947,30.025641025641022,9.21078282632365,2.3562487179487177,998,33,205,17,15,335,134,260,0.075,0.777,0.14800000000000002,0.9719,2,0,11,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,16,12,1,0,12,0,33,10,0,6,3,52,47,22,0,13,13,5,1,0,1,5,4,0,2,0,18,12,10,0,4,6,0,1,10,4,1,0,2,1,23,8,31,32,8,22,0,0,0,0,10,9,1,7,11,154,41,0,0.09457597948128213,0.112057070506708,0.0922925132246756,0.0,0.0,0.09241855256785617,0.0,0.4042918386939805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563237662182108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431490919579884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838534602076896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765263926928499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971555830798258,0.0,0.08146883199359357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551122389831237,0.10464652243215936,0.0,0.06099368268985762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5558907266413468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831563281665824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306916714137786,0.0,0.0494120457993688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472150099968646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897348373474961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871275096758167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395296989474473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739353141684554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040511568595449,0.0,0.0,0.06313020069827217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952422697041298,0.07012689041748604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192929415237094,0.0,0.0,0.10501543290138524,0.0,0.18056694782004856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381602483683716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904964395985636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605877942120704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280920956899384,0.0,0.10587006597981052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913674140036602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060046884092923,0.0,0.0,0.05514801419541565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168328048027486,0.0,0.0,0.11156672615438963,0.07507001036275279,0.0,0.0,0.08503516367219942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911678692682578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359203115304428,0.0,0.0,0.06090382999065697
mentalhealth,Sarahlump,2018/01/01,"Im strugglimg with loneliness I have 0 humans in my life that I can talk to. Usually I cope well. Lately my life is going down hill badly and i desperately wish I had somebody to cry to, or to say, I'm not doing OK and just have them say ""I'm here for you"" not to do anything but just to be listened to. I feel so isolated and alone. There are literally 0 people in the world who are effected by me. I'm to an extent worthless. 

I dont want to be sad and lonely",1.4374504950495035,2.522452089108913,4.288205445544556,86.80478341584158,77.61386138613861,7.4262376237623755,23.51608910891089,8.07648339933343,1.1431277227722771,355,11,82,6,8,128,67,101,0.272,0.696,0.032,-0.9738,0,3,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,1,6,6,0,0,2,1,12,2,0,1,0,15,20,7,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,1,4,12,2,15,17,1,7,0,3,0,0,8,4,0,1,2,57,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483705559644037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19734297349678168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002311064936277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634197262325056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810552158697893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212550042391363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362893951614701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25903565840740395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051581919909096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33876940660491345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166253870926951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814126428269297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19274997599035112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641165359522851,0.0,0.1414459911640997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21561774597152056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27576935288001003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Valkyria6,2018/01/01,"Sudden feeling of deep disgust at random times Since I was a child, I remember having moments where I suddenly and randomly start having this horrible very odd feeling inside, it's gonna be so difficult to try to explain, no one has recognized themselves in it when I try to describe how it feels before. I could never pinpoint why this feeling only happened to me, but recently I got the feeling that perhaps it's a sexual trauma from a past life?

I'm gonna try to describe it, out of nowhere I start feeling some type of disgust, a very different and deep sort of disgust.  In this moment I don't want any human contact, I feel disgusted with them in relation to me somehow, like I don't want anybody to look at me, i just feel so extremely disgusted in the most unique and uncomfortable way. All I do is stay quiet and wait till it goes away, which usually last maybe 15 to 60 seconds. When I was a child this feeling washed over me very often, like maybe 3 times week, can't remember, and the ""episodes"" lasted longer, maybe more on the 60 second mark, and I dealt with it same back then, I just knew all I had to do was stay quiet and suffer it out until it goes away on its own. I don't want any type of contact in this moment. Now I get it perhaps about once a month. I think it is related to something sexual, before I could kind of create this feeling by pinching my nipple, and this huge wash of disgust and uncomfortableness came over me, when I got a boyfriend that stopped happening pretty quickly somehow. 
I've wondered about it all my life. Tried to Google.. Never found any type of answer.

Can anybody relate to this sick feeling? ",7.633400621118014,6.4492890714285735,7.759992236024848,75.27210015527953,63.56521739130434,10.53447204968944,36.89518633540372,9.516144504307137,3.3889683229813663,1299,54,244,20,16,423,164,322,0.17600000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.085,-0.9892,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,0,17,12,6,0,11,0,19,5,0,1,5,58,51,19,0,5,3,0,11,2,0,2,5,2,0,3,24,14,0,2,19,0,0,1,7,9,0,3,9,14,29,3,43,37,8,51,0,1,1,0,7,19,0,9,30,166,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994709895830825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495348336431704,0.07159324963373903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845376522737226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648917829176324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867613225428847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727660929463212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5178525940143619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208661163496978,0.0,0.0,0.04864437018074939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489317513761024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466776691314153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695622519905933,0.0,0.15178865683368534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152792938236665,0.09097439067184668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818611783186064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280614365959333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431682200502251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361914237107434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915551991418414,0.06309146060225329,0.07081178597208862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888081145062307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472291288924707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193156246556697,0.0,0.21094331844495412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770187646370317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167803084338475,0.0,0.0,0.13180270071985775,0.19847855396511155,0.0,0.0778413098629684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965896760062475,0.0,0.0,0.10858244680447088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528531543324724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254379649447247,0.2304681565003535,0.16475010412272034,0.07390370737503622,0.07468452069997371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840142497619803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097016616467124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,netches,2018/01/01,"Am I even sick enough to justify going to hospital? I have clinical depression and panic disorder, been through a long period of stress and deep depression. Im on a waiting list for therapy. My depression and panic attacks and getting worse every day and a few hours ago I had a total breakdown. I can't cope any more, my head doesn't feel like a safe place to live now.


I'm not going to kill myself but I don't know to keep living either.

Actual last resort, I've tried everything. I'm afraid they'll take one look at me and discharge cause I'm not 'crazy enough'.


I need urgent help and I don't know what to do, it's driving me mad.


Yes I've called samaritans, yes I've tried yoga and sunshine and rainbows and talking to people. I feel like I need urgent professional help but they're just going to laugh at me


(please dont tell me to cheer up, try deep breathing and eat yogurt.)",2.128450980392156,4.2055973222222285,3.8138562091503267,86.57794117647059,78.55555555555556,7.124183006535947,22.810457516339866,8.124751697461798,1.3165751633986928,698,22,141,13,17,233,110,180,0.162,0.647,0.191,0.9136,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,1,0,3,16,3,4,5,2,11,5,2,1,1,28,28,13,1,2,6,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,11,1,3,4,1,0,4,7,10,0,1,2,4,17,6,16,25,6,18,0,3,2,0,6,7,0,0,9,75,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.12193670268067833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076383971593247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497274249593402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215277503847007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759161074667813,0.0,0.0,0.12836178183741614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058474400244554,0.0,0.322867094434526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432076673431562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644470523286654,0.0,0.0,0.12785874202746206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25822097134393585,0.0,0.08253068371148332,0.0,0.1052788091661202,0.0,0.11230025138466396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263606035480021,0.17853377389842764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528310614766955,0.0,0.21304205551588776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282384572846394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675075473741429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230541399951636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349713454805567,0.0,0.0,0.11106451357002046,0.13824266069077115,0.0,0.1373424770866461,0.10185387290724104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209204849156564,0.0,0.2206726611844835,0.11058001650337236,0.10492956555353893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185303043291084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467180280480632,0.0,0.0,0.2932122869998787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662710295688003,0.0,0.1305499318147203,0.137161545522143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431339428884125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394956720694893,0.10043298193272644,0.10921496636161997,0.0,0.14289534764967074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545059056072288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733840795260276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Burger_Queen02,2018/01/01,"I don’t understand Lately I’ve been getting bad mood swings. One second I’ll be happier than ever till seconds later when I’m pissed or depressed. I do suffer from anxiety and paranoia. I’m not suicidal but I can’t find a point in life. I feel the need to see a doctor with how bad it’s gotten. Plus I suffer from trauma of a death of a dog, an attempted suicide, and a divorce. My brother makes me feel like shit too so him plus all this doesn’t help. Can someone try and explain what’s happening to me?",1.5547169811320742,3.4851195660377385,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,79.75471698113208,6.504150943396226,24.75094339622641,7.554174236665415,1.2983577358490566,398,15,82,6,10,136,79,106,0.337,0.5720000000000001,0.091,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,1,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,2,0,7,0,7,4,2,2,2,19,19,11,3,1,3,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,8,0,3,2,3,9,1,12,16,1,7,0,3,1,0,5,2,2,1,6,53,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968801729105306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348583794308476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979025804864932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136575647902373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882022323524275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21109372163367449,0.14912622174682522,0.0,0.0,0.19078755166033864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905973420174968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459096936000485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399162024558719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354714817497295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744153295897833,0.10198140945161363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933774238395585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478047722168894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144983064052294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732984599245812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634134666661646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142719496194939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768674809818176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566624770522891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172296661005207,0.0,0.0,0.21730908823728204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skate_and_zombies,2018/01/01,"I can't take this anymore I was diagnosed with ptsd and drug induced psychosis about three months ago.

I caught pneumonia two weeks ago and for some reason it triggered an episode of the same feeling I had when I was high. First episode too. I was sitting down and I saw a chair shake. This freaked me out and I immediately didn't have any control of my body.
My head was throbbing and I felt a shooting pain and thought I was witnessing my own death. 

While I had pneumonia I had dizzy spells and just yesterday it got really bad. 

When I'm walking it feels like I'm on a boat and I see things move. 

Today it's even worse and I'm bed ridden because of how much everything is spinning. Sadly I still feel the spinning while I'm laying down. 

What could this be? 
Regardless this is overwhelming me 

I've called a couple call lines to have some type of comfort. Being out and social brings on that same disconnected feeling I had when I was high. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated 

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mentalhealth,silksphinx,2018/01/01,"Lightly hallucination sounds? Mostly music. A few weeks ago, I asked my SO why there was music playing downstairs. It was classical, all piano. He said he didn’t hear anything. After listening for a moment... the music faded, as if it came from my imagination. I’ve experienced this a few times, what is it called?",2.4598684210526334,5.422794350877197,4.3712061403508775,76.4136513157895,87.94736842105263,6.358771929824562,22.91447368421053,7.6454224807358475,1.7668263157894737,246,9,40,5,8,83,46,57,0.0,0.959,0.041,0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,3,1,4,4,4,7,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30121523401876554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27962926594545395,0.0,0.3176703326237078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34697728959610713,0.3886445939497813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829831565447439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32323087172158466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981421099558874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725698111994954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30661973834824763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WutsThePoynt,2018/01/01,"I have fear and extreme insecurity about using/moving my body. Is there a name for that? When I try to do something new with my body, like an exercise or dance move I've never tried before, I get so freaked out that I'm doing it wrong that I'll start to feel extreme dread and panic and just need to stop. I usually will become very depressed immediately after and start to cry and just want to curl up into a ball. 

I almost never do new things around other people for that reason. I've never broken down and cried in front of someone over it, but I've wanted to. I have to excuse myself, or tell them I'm tired or make up some reason for why I don't want to do the thing, *without* saying that I feel awkward or I feel like I'm doing it wrong. The feeling is so strong that if I articulated it I *would* cry, so I just need to act like it's no big deal.

But it seems like it is. Even by myself I can't even work out or do stretches without bringing on a break down. Which of course means, I just sit in a ball on the couch all day. 

Is this a thing that other people experience? Any advice? ",1.6650869565217403,3.279579465217396,3.5680434782608725,89.9642391304348,78.26086956521739,5.643478260869566,19.32608695652174,6.2581,-0.0910260869565218,847,18,187,6,20,286,123,230,0.158,0.741,0.101,-0.9063,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,13,14,0,5,9,0,16,4,2,3,4,48,35,18,0,7,14,0,4,4,0,2,2,1,1,0,21,11,0,1,8,4,0,5,8,9,0,0,0,5,19,5,33,33,2,34,0,1,0,0,6,15,0,9,16,129,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052788189651956,0.0,0.0,0.10788249926819177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326448525598854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590828825790372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189864524230252,0.0916757898113893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393418327438439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550303175693923,0.06948110200288395,0.11107155655912428,0.09279325261656338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423178276312773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538692803104796,0.0,0.12123346673474025,0.2178991592750676,0.07696694646582247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628785216682792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053836380558796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191492168923541,0.0,0.0,0.11735658578647125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145068037867494,0.0,0.15977043560455936,0.24927899232958384,0.20810508319543936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640551926875387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938178811062922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215420427228472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856763548960039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980792242286979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128475046718093,0.08294078818844351,0.0,0.0,0.15251283767764726,0.0,0.0,0.09007250223938472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416641216584327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147259446005796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382720874216364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462919647031914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865648658332024,0.08889386016683072,0.1906372612261526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721539518216972,0.0,0.0,0.20770820008435847,0.0,0.07843342389038054,0.0,0.0,0.07653288800077117,0.2355858061326066,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hwar-,2018/01/01,"Looking for advice Hello,

I'm looking for an answer to a problem that has troubled me most in my 20 years: my life. I don't know exactly what my problem is, but I know something is wrong. My entire life I have felt a combination of fear, extreme confusion and hyperactivity. I come from a very loving family. My parents are kind and support me unconditionally. I've never been abused. I've been to multiple professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists) who have been unable to diagnose anything or give me any insight into my problem. I have never experienced depression in my life (at the worst it's a kind of melancholy) which, according to the last psychologist I spoke to, is extremely unusual if a person has been anxious for such a length of time, he says almost always a severely anxious person become depressed. I did well enough in school, though I definitely believe I have some kind of minor cognitive problems relating to memory and processing information. (Thankfully) I've never self-harmed, or become addicted to substances. Up until my nineteenth birthday I was a very active person who socialised and as a kid was very physically active. But I know something is wrong. Despite my consistent socialising, I know the way I feel around people is not normal. I do not know if it would be sufficient to describe it as anxiety, there is definitely some aspects of anxiety, but I feel it is more like a sense of extreme discomfort and confusion that I am very good at masking. Despite my parents being very loving I feel awful around them and have done since I was a kid, even though I love them too. Sometimes when my parents enter a room I'll feel a jolt of discomfort. However this feeling is prevalent around all people I interact with, I'm only describing it with my parents because I think it is highly unusual.

I never gave any signs of a troubled person. I'm going for an MRI scan to see if I have any undetected brain damage (possibly from birth).

If anyone has any ideas, I would be happy to hear from you. Please, try not to throw any random, unhelpful diagnoses, only what you think may be relevant to my situation.

I wish you all a Happy New Year, and all the best for whatever struggles you may be going through.

Love,

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mentalhealth,BadbrainzSouthie,2018/01/01,"Scared of my phone Often times when I’m depressed I go into isolation mode and disconnect from the outside world. When I’m like this I get an intense feeling of anxiety and fear that a friend will text me or call me inviting me to hang out. I get so scared and I don’t want to answer bc while I know it would be good for me to get out and be around people, my depression wants me to stay in my dark apartment alone. Anyone else get scared that you will have to answer your phone when/if someone is reaching out?",3.1463207547169816,4.376191886792455,3.8265566037735854,91.22775943396229,73.52830188679245,6.809433962264151,24.57075471698113,7.1686216300943375,0.8241735849056604,404,12,88,4,8,128,71,106,0.22,0.643,0.13699999999999998,-0.9214,0,2,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,5,9,0,4,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,18,19,9,0,3,1,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,0,1,15,3,15,14,0,15,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,2,5,55,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802184429502888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887845540347205,0.0,0.0,0.126937768035272,0.1860103249543396,0.0,0.16161008051988418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537377503196406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127221911570072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516543060019896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042842248213252,0.09179264200025153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025821443847544,0.0,0.3793909571823787,0.0,0.10317399877216604,0.15226807336573772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977024861117467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869181836414891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585775037421532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5452629760187114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381919687241313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349867284024835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585808355952253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415530535450375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896159880326746,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yiga15,2018/01/01,"I have been defeated. I never got to live with my mother until June,2017. 
Before moving in with her I used to be sad all of the time. All of the stress of a tough upbringing, narcissists father and bully step-mom left me destroyed. I was unable to smile, socialize and even get a date.  I am 25 years old.

 After I started living with my mom my life started to stabilize. My stress levels plummeted. I starting smiling at people at work, gym, and on the streets. I forgot about all of the times my father hit my stepmom and me.  Everything was ""alright"" but then my sister got pregnant by some illegal deadbeat. My mom's best idea was to let my sister's boyfriend move in with us. Long story short, I got home from the library and saw two patrols. Two police officers were standing at the front door. My mom had to call the cops because my sister and her boyfriend got into an argument. 

After that day I started to feel just like I used to feel before I started living with my mother. I am feeling anxious, depress, and very angry.  All of those memories of childhood abuse came back. I threatened my mom with killing myself. She is trying to kick the couple out now. My new year resolution is to crawl back to ""normal."" 

I am open for advice. Thank you!!!",2.6848997233748264,5.0893192655601664,3.798449170124482,85.71490750345781,78.33609958506224,6.0083679114799455,25.39436376210235,7.1686216300943375,1.3299417704011058,977,37,179,12,24,316,143,241,0.187,0.747,0.066,-0.9863,0,0,0,0,1,1,38.0,1,1,0,3,6,12,2,2,11,1,14,1,0,2,5,33,34,10,1,1,2,11,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,17,0,1,4,1,0,4,1,8,0,2,13,4,37,4,38,18,6,41,0,3,1,0,18,13,0,1,24,125,39,1,0.0,0.10842614851652277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942396638688302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338193306861472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073337030883398,0.0,0.05578455334870461,0.0,0.1557390712997043,0.0,0.09603566023096448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344346024743973,0.10466476266329157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125572024736912,0.0,0.059017338825614565,0.0,0.07881871001664965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060442474371605937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224462419300196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881287294730274,0.06537582489347739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781097517650053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927603848740337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179348326693228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330533047396308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124390226882286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942749883439464,0.0935766959738587,0.06463726987676634,0.04470789032674362,0.0,0.2424189598644033,0.08098478666288901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.535885740239374,0.0,0.1945244575032864,0.0,0.0,0.07057930059798698,0.08838236478868867,0.0,0.0,0.08966182793729034,0.0,0.0,0.09602591215196482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344254300209022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932844371052996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238615089936276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965219929557005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425148265480067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672216845407352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062130292982361814,0.0,0.1787868521287315,0.0,0.11007705184687792,0.1580730865196211,0.0,0.07550656097488052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662145273400394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786079514539373
mentalhealth,ineedhelp1941,2018/01/01,"I don't know So to start off im drunk and english isn't my mother language so sorry for every mistake i made. I've beed diagnosed with BPD about a year ago and i don't take any meds or see a doc, i'm just living my life. I just came back for new years party that was hosted by a girl that i confessed my feelings to. I couldn't imagine a better girl than her although she migh be lesbiang ( shes not sure about this, but about 95% sure that she doensn't feel the same about me ) but she tried to come out as soft as she could. So i don't really care about anything else atm. only thing that keeps me alive is her i just don't want to make her upset about my death, what should i do, shit makes me crazy when i think that won't ever be with her but she's my only friend that i had in my 21 year life :/
",0.968305084745765,2.287887638418084,2.478666666666669,98.30884745762714,79.3954802259887,5.1719774011299435,18.014689265536724,5.2151,-0.7224354802259882,620,11,154,2,15,202,105,177,0.198,0.7490000000000001,0.053,-0.9726,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,15,8,1,1,5,0,16,5,1,3,3,34,32,13,1,5,8,1,3,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,9,7,1,1,6,1,1,2,8,3,0,0,4,4,30,5,21,22,1,14,1,0,1,0,15,3,1,1,9,98,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186267053290558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883028435898633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169637503695056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305816343423935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415392484244612,0.0,0.0,0.20156032583433234,0.0,0.0,0.1830390822213788,0.16316784235072687,0.0,0.0,0.13785724434850685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777609533941822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243364364397114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368993141436467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14476214521851227,0.13483762441906075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618384909320802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364377618354624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286684503170932,0.0,0.0,0.14224776368252676,0.0,0.0,0.08795185607091872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22607697671087065,0.0,0.0,0.14131513095573411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143037308515594,0.2136511667214366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776443542530976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456421553756114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24342988691819675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025234577057303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275283429359974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642751319514456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914772064142245,0.11327463391614816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301664949379076,0.0,0.12032750519997865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632111647037924,0.1025449050416606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865425493985673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094393653697147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091747101557373
mentalhealth,idontunderstand_4379,2018/01/01,"I just don't understand anything It's hard, I won't give up hope",-1.3520000000000003,0.6377088000000022,1.495000000000001,97.7025,94.33333333333334,5.666666666666668,20.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.5643333333333334,52,2,13,1,2,18,13,15,0.322,0.6779999999999999,0.0,-0.4226,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892190786212712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453721829703041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236937364184951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697720464539241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923848618493063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theargentin,2018/01/01,"Need advice over a friends situation I just saw this subbreddit and maybe you guys can help. Please excuse my bad wording. I have a friend which is going through some hard time since 2 years i would say. Let me start by giving you some insight on him; he is 21, a good person, he is bipolar in my opinion, and has some really bad attitudes towards everything. He has some problems in his house but nothing hars like abuse or something like that. His girlfriend left him which made him kinda hate women, and over the last months we all noticed his agressive comments over women and how he just tries to fuck them. I cant hear him tall like that anymore, but he isnt ok. He started cutting himself a little  a couple of  months ago. He cant keep a job, he feels overwhelmed and doesnt really like being in an office. He is impulsive, and doesnt listen to anyone, he believes he is alone and wont really tell no one about what he thinks. This year he had 3 episodes, one in which he cut himself ln the leg, he says he wasnt aware until he called his father for help. On another one, he cut his arms, sideways, and last month he had a very agressive discusion with his mother, saying he would ""kill her if you call the doctor o the police"". Her mother asked for our help, his friends, but we dont know what to do. To make things worst, he smoke weed every day, i do to but im ok with it, but i dont smoke him out anymore. He started doing harder drugs while in medication. I hope i was clear enough. Today, he left his house with his car, which he shouldnt drive as his license was suspended over drunk driving. He blocked everyone in his phone and told her sister that he was ok in another province. Some hours ago his mother and sister notified the police. Im really scare of what he might do today in night years eve. And thats it, let me know any question or any piece of advice. Talking with him isnt very possible as he believes he is ok and everyone is exagerating.",4.275940966347058,5.153800010152285,4.925984207557812,85.73671648806167,70.47208121827411,7.765971047189323,27.02914081594285,7.921354282810032,1.4966835119383344,1540,49,315,19,27,495,199,394,0.168,0.741,0.091,-0.9881,1,1,4,0,1,0,47.0,3,3,1,0,4,25,6,2,13,4,37,8,2,3,2,57,58,25,1,7,10,6,2,4,4,5,4,5,0,4,16,19,1,2,6,1,0,4,12,12,0,3,9,8,42,13,36,41,9,46,0,1,1,1,92,20,1,13,26,181,58,2,0.0,0.094381770189368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568186014948998,0.1412241201219147,0.0,0.0,0.08250172206330737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834041889582653,0.1670568337713076,0.0,0.0,0.15799877293659834,0.05569876466773643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446952900600005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302229833340887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949470111164875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626795622908111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814012348035964,0.0,0.05137285596175537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153339538086928,0.0,0.0,0.18671729597010228,0.0,0.09237805482033322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230806544942301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671153475272204,0.15223337173067886,0.07159152405668967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040277506404406915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463084863493398,0.07364258887572613,0.0,0.07641526552102541,0.04527150875886984,0.06681339774661242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788739989367064,0.0,0.0,0.07135797144520256,0.0786458383176511,0.0,0.0,0.08978041811320778,0.0,0.16017934679108006,0.0,0.0,0.07911842303824575,0.07844713894328899,0.1838294022998428,0.0,0.0,0.17208873903294986,0.0,0.07904832881458437,0.07080373994762497,0.08812983627795952,0.0,0.0875559683181327,0.12986389438308166,0.0,0.0,0.173097421127367,0.16291151784551705,0.0,0.1556676092696282,0.07983829870519232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537437832782072,0.0531723707158338,0.0,0.08002722369267101,0.0,0.0,0.08024711063679607,0.0,0.08450460880957354,0.0,0.0,0.19074690016503387,0.0,0.0,0.059065438937045474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475368906325895,0.0,0.07643405280668772,0.09069122435232743,0.0,0.0,0.16193508026959033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695543416581331,0.0,0.08744062426241575,0.0,0.0898024889271006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762220012224606,0.0,0.0,0.08923525295482661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412396089765827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19004184933125925,0.07975161018759161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589396681530715,0.08953899211674793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132466299660176,0.0,0.0,0.16914714540668502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402612775543412,0.06962465172803911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292127262057325,0.05104166562314468,0.0,0.0,0.04644925285531306,0.0,0.15101304520969525,0.07611668586533943,0.0,0.054082590909016584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145247679132854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317359449588404,0.0,0.0,0.15389152848199142
mentalhealth,grayperegrine,2018/01/01,"Resources Okay, I've fully concluded that suicide hotline/crisis centers are not gonna help me. 

I have been fluctuating between full on suicidality and ""just"" ideation, which they've had trouble with, and I'm fully terrified of what in-patient care looks like. (This is from personal perspectives - I'm on neuro meds where if I don't get them correctly can fuck with my head as well as my body [psych ER today delayed them by 2 hrs which... isn't a welcoming sign], I'm trans and gay without gender marker changes - and practicalities - they said they don't know where I'd be or how long I'd be locked up, which is a problem as a working adult who just lost my entire support system when my husband died. (The caseworker ""kindly"" told me the hospital would send a letter to my landlord if I was kept long enough to get evicted.) None of this warms the cockles of my heart nor does it make me feel like anyone has my best interests at heart.

I'm a recent widow (less than two weeks) and they made me hand over my husband's items that I've been carrying with me, including his wedding ring, and I couldn't do any of the activities I do to manage my anxiety/flashbacks (a great new addition to the PTSD are flashbacks to my husband's death so managing this is REALLY important). I couldn't have music or books or writing materials. I knew I couldn't bring my knitting (pointy sticks + string) but it was shockingly upsetting to hand over EVERYTHING including his wedding ring and religious items. They made it clear, too, that if I went in-patient I wouldn't get them back until I got out. (Given, too, that I've been performing religious rites and that's helped me manage, not having access long term to ritual items would be a bit of an issue.)

(I am also very open to the idea that they may well have my best interests at heart and that I am a very anxious person with a history full of a lot of trauma, including medical trauma, and I am very very shy after being burned. I don't enter into much without full disclosure and without my husband, I am... hyperaware that I don't have an advocate who has the legal right to step in for me.)

I have been... severely ill before and was sent to a psych ER by my then-therapist. I was allowed to talk to a mental health professional, assess what I needed to do to stay safe, and connected to a psychiatrist/out patient treatment I could access within the week. (My safety plan went to shit when I was summarily kicked out of the house by my parents, but I liked that.) Today when I went to a psych ER, I was told that either I could tell them I was safe or I could go in-patient without any information about what that looked like. I told them I was safe because... well, I don't particularly want to be on a locked ward. But I do want to get help?

Are there resources to get fairly-quick-help - like I mentioned about the previous psych ER I went to, where I got a pretty solid PTSD diagnosis, psych meds to carry me until I saw the psychiatrist, and was mostly treated well - and not just ""Are you safe or in patient material?"" 

tl;dr? 
My local psych resources are either months from availability OR only oriented to checking if I need to be in-patient in a locked ward. I would like to figure out a disability-oriented plan centered around keeping me in my community and safe. Does such a thing exist?

(I am in Philadelphia PA USA but am willing/happy to use online resources etc)",6.6009459459459485,6.313234560060064,7.287357357357358,74.87581081081079,65.26126126126127,10.443243243243243,33.16516516516516,10.030559657594573,3.1614768768768773,2691,101,511,54,37,895,295,666,0.092,0.774,0.134,0.9831,3,0,0,0,0,1,102.0,0,1,10,8,24,36,2,1,32,1,64,13,8,7,2,96,108,42,4,19,26,6,4,6,0,6,3,3,1,3,26,27,0,8,7,1,1,10,19,9,8,1,32,10,79,27,77,58,19,61,2,1,3,2,42,30,2,13,25,351,105,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531846867488673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408146216178807,0.0,0.0,0.07814699519852718,0.0,0.048368109279553914,0.0,0.0,0.06157957679775203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053190580246249036,0.0,0.04216786331321418,0.0,0.058862027899030826,0.0,0.1451878109877392,0.0,0.07552015470786891,0.07683678354644005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052756168266389,0.0,0.07317698052889747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568956816105035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179175035927875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106936749419588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147529263880452,0.07714735928707446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216918238169793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03497648184654897,0.04941796039603488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395030136877787,0.18070294957026548,0.0,0.039313210911617984,0.0,0.11064962567437048,0.07626464243975123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363707034075644,0.0,0.0,0.07099253956224955,0.07352878824360166,0.0,0.2459147730772902,0.1854636500740039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981757470093655,0.0,0.07808909085858352,0.0,0.07219974389429125,0.0,0.06148508053306196,0.0,0.0720341359444815,0.038016252864416594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027697018422832,0.0,0.0,0.18365059193558,0.11617757249332646,0.0,0.0755116550305102,0.058809309875512174,0.0,0.13090833125605233,0.04617422042981406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536735670928801,0.06968558530522151,0.0697111799019033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521407262175018,0.0,0.05085089142496792,0.10258337405485356,0.0,0.06680873564428387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052609987720875606,0.0,0.0,0.07680960449494696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208002374292058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037488485254585,0.0,0.06619023072821932,0.16172154259547006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04431467244457722,0.0,0.06830103641759243,0.0,0.0,0.059074267020533186,0.06580036924433891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814699519852718,0.07100617581698207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373034123922177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513303826850669,0.07849790053677559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055599487035218866,0.06046117509825799,0.0,0.0,0.08031641217914794,0.04595616999038511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311378361246085,0.19829632857538734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757300265216923,0.0,0.0,0.05974417563398887,0.0,0.22830336724483746,0.08160130253199846,0.0,0.11097451259070973,0.0,0.2487831401298185,0.2565001767732017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26672529123286765,0.0,0.05035953761347939,0.0,0.0,0.14741779693296295,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,woozookazoo,2018/01/01,"Loosing hope I posted this in one other sub but I'm loosing hope. My citalopram isn't working, I have to ignore my delusions and it's making me sad because he keeps communicating with me through  my lightbulb but I don't respond, my walls keep moving and breathing, I keep having peripheral and corner of my eye visions of light or shadows. My memory is getting really bad, and I'm scared to go outside because they could be watching me. My psychiatrist appointment isn't for another few weeks, I'm just loosing hope. I'm not going to kill myself, that's out of the option but I just don't care if I relapse anymore. Nothing is getting better. ",3.221213333333335,5.630842048000004,4.898100000000003,78.49888333333334,76.52,6.406666666666666,31.21666666666667,7.492282038375204,2.372106666666667,516,26,87,7,12,174,80,125,0.166,0.71,0.124,-0.7835,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,2,2,10,1,1,1,0,10,2,2,1,0,24,26,9,1,5,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,5,0,1,0,3,18,5,11,24,1,9,0,1,2,0,3,4,0,6,1,58,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314425468582068,0.0,0.0,0.17321391084401985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458322244884503,0.21293992272010945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447090285501447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807558119310676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394502869704176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250330509267232,0.0,0.19852445525206294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5204247306312478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4657324536425019,0.1932333184622162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658564315855124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563392759011346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758916493126727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183528539916432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672741872541702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118904561943758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748632352004889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010019881397634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715318260238118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TeamAsobi,2018/01/02,"What mental illness did Edward McCleary have? This is one of the strangest cases I've come across and I'm curious about it. Basically, when he was a teenager he went spear-fishing 2 miles off the coast of Pensacola. Their boat was washed out by the tide and the 5 of them attempted to swim back, but only Edward managed to get back to the shore.

He was found unconscious on a beach, and alone. When he awoke he told an extremely vivid story about how storms blew their raft off course, followed by a thick fog that a mythical dragon materialized out of, then proceeded to kill his friends one by one but somehow left him unharmed. The newspapers deemed him hysterical and demanded that he alter his story to say that they had drowned in strong ocean currents.

The weather records of that day did not record a storm or fog, and the ''gale force winds'' that drove their raft off course never topped 13 miles per hour.

Edward McCleary would reiterate the dragon story over and over in different magazines. Each reiteration, many details were inconsistent between each telling, for instance, in one version of the magic dragon story (calling the dragon a 'sea serpent' would lead to misunderstandings and lead people to believe they were bitten by a venomous sea snake, except those actually exist), they saw the dragon from their raft and dived into the water when it got too close the raft. In another variant, a storm drove their raft off course, leaving them stranded on a buoy for an hour, before they heard the dragon roaring in the distance. It was only until the dragon had killed two of his friends that Edward McCleary took a look at the dragon. Other variations include either them all forgetting to put on their flippers, versus all five of them putting on their flippers before entering the water. 

A body washed ashore a week later, with no injuries to suggest it had been attacked by an animal when Edward made it clear in all variations of his story that the boy who washed ashore was viciously mauled and heard his ''blood-curdling'' screams of agony.

Apparently in adulthood, McCleary would seek out therapy, and it took him years before he accepted that there was no dragon.  ",11.906862244897955,9.315884839285717,10.129795918367344,66.07413265306123,56.474489795918366,12.759183673469384,42.35714285714286,10.820120047756994,4.5665275510204095,1755,70,288,29,16,537,209,392,0.107,0.8440000000000001,0.049,-0.9766,4,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,15,5,12,9,4,0,35,0,19,7,1,4,5,42,36,20,3,3,7,0,1,0,2,3,4,4,0,1,19,19,2,0,2,2,0,13,4,5,0,6,26,8,23,4,56,7,7,59,0,0,3,0,41,29,0,2,17,192,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.11742320436502145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124623979469024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617486581734616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689097693669353,0.0,0.18505029296659276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071719312958106,0.1355689516939518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336577758698364,0.0,0.0,0.1228687954864921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365230043389537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760189225783863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571761402687656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319339287409248,0.18593091565589626,0.0,0.06286664594200053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623764937744786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23699855926813845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662511916656731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274104487996951,0.13073720715892892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104558798996036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385768372215002,0.0,0.12199415655131553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121262770627547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280471450639924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261506728040799,0.1830304086860082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342059273731127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419266435706158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569000879416213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051723642911951,0.0,0.13760606315408316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497898539927676,0.2673786588671397,0.0,0.0,0.1175434059896166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652022017650316,0.0,0.0,0.11154567368441856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564336240048652,0.0,0.0,0.07748757321404684
mentalhealth,LeafyCarp,2018/01/02,"Should I have brought it up? I talked to someone I went to grade school with from Kindergarten through High School graduation about kitten care (she's a vet assistant).  This year she has been making a lot of posts about dealing with depression/anxiety and how it's been hard for her. We were never super close, but she's been around long enough that I've been concerned. During our conversation I told her that I had noticed her posts and wanted her to know if she ever needed a neutral person to vent or just talk to, she could message me. She responded saying ""Thanks, I appreciate it. And same to you. I just hate talking about it in general.""
Should I have made that offer or should I have just not brought it up? I'm sure it's different for everyone, but what's the consensus here?",4.814880382775122,6.196346947368423,5.014880382775122,83.72007177033494,69.65789473684211,8.422009569377991,28.291866028708128,8.841846274778883,2.0883605263157903,624,22,122,11,11,196,95,152,0.058,0.878,0.064,0.2064,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,2,1,0,1,10,5,1,0,4,0,14,0,0,3,3,33,27,9,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,11,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,11,2,23,4,20,12,3,15,0,0,0,0,24,6,0,4,4,91,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670102585098988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474394493389396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886353233414328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322363677549868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707498844339619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730406257628766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113267638418725,0.0,0.0,0.14981534864769447,0.0,0.1582597294506244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836554070472965,0.1635182739903899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498963287357802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102198618006876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657100916582175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408066231524525,0.0,0.15671634394032113,0.11055453752444633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228072436390161,0.12773855116673838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856271087442225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461548302833946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31724181315383543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317099368228311,0.0,0.33523832993456265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033170215416202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609757474164568,0.0,0.0,0.39936411607327416,0.0,0.15248326686140015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582597294506244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768864724560168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353403995852924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665568434140693
mentalhealth,spinelesscactus,2018/01/02,"How do I get a record of my diagnosis without having to communicate with my former therapist? Should I see a ""behaviorist""? Huge problem here that I'm hoping someone can help me solve! Thanks in advance for reading! 

I'm in the US. A few months ago my (now former) therapist persuaded me to quit my job and go on disability. She said I had severe PTSD and would be granted disability no problem if I applied. She had tons of clients with ""mere depression"" who were way more functional than I was, and THEY had easily gotten disability. She said she'd advocate for me and help me and assure the state that I was incapacitated by my mental illness (which I am). She says I'll never heal while I'm still working, that I need to take a break from the world and focus on getting better.

Well, as soon as I had quit my job and applied for disability, she sees that I'm not getting better, that I am still traumatized and still want to die. So she decides my problems are ""too big"" for her and she was done seeing me. After all that validation, after all those attempts to gain my trust, after stringing me along for several months with the promise of helping me heal ""eventually"", she's suddenly unsure she can help me, just because my life feels meaningless.

Not surprisingly, my application for disability was recently denied. On the rejection letter, there was no mention of PTSD; it claimed that I had applied on account of ""anxiety"" which I didn't. So either this therapist didn't fill out the paperwork, or lied and said I had just anxiety and was probably fine. I don't know.

So I made an appointment with a state service that helps disabled people get jobs appropriate for their skills and limitations. **The problem is, I have to have a medical record of my diagnosis.** 

I could technically request the records from my former therapist, but I really don't want my former therapist knowing I'm even alive at all. I don't trust her enough to have any involvement in this process. She ruined my life once; I'm not giving her a second chance. I'd rather have someone else confirm the diagnosis instead.
 
But I've been calling around for a while, trying to find a psychiatrist or therapist or someone who can confirm the diagnosis and put it on paper. Within a 2 hour drive there is **nobody** taking patients before the end of January, when my appointment with the job services is scheduled. Soonest I can see anyone is six months from now! 

There is one provider, though, that is available immediately, but they're listed on the clinic's site as a ""behaviorist"". Google isn't much help on what that means. Will a behaviorist be able to make a diagnosis? Is it worth making an appointment with this person? Or should I just suck it up and talk to the former therapist? Or should I do nothing at all and just run out of money and get evicted from my home and freeze to death on the streets (most of the time this option sounds ideal). 

Thanks everyone! ",4.870811219984019,6.7045112676311085,5.855961142184281,75.98415955254639,70.13924050632912,9.050153496782873,30.76281593002229,9.530980864609335,3.0209117204255866,2333,99,417,54,43,770,259,553,0.091,0.8009999999999999,0.107,0.6937,5,0,0,0,0,1,80.0,1,0,2,11,26,21,1,0,31,0,51,7,0,4,6,79,88,37,2,16,19,0,2,0,0,5,7,5,1,1,24,27,0,1,6,1,3,6,13,8,1,3,22,11,63,13,66,57,11,61,0,3,4,0,37,23,1,9,28,307,87,9,0.06612970222397467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861999098364184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044970465196418084,0.0,0.10117808239277193,0.0,0.0,0.04623942538716567,0.0,0.0,0.05886945529037959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040312052682030135,0.0,0.056271505909887436,0.0,0.0,0.1169726952877125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752581971463344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279918620299953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569574156247075,0.0,0.06863219037497406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676736451173379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05524288063008057,0.0,0.05857128783491941,0.06832965998104268,0.0,0.04367804463485974,0.0,0.0,0.06318976440113791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03343716441967093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044134979214408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17275020004611008,0.06343763617699465,0.0375830337334706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659520726786015,0.0,0.0663334832169908,0.06568171557575496,0.06512443587651014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624941019073883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726863098023511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341872873686136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257352319363213,0.08828417948011301,0.0,0.0,0.07203463230842222,0.0,0.0666187177931276,0.0666431859698087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583522922030483,0.0,0.04861294011568097,0.04903433627266291,0.05100330312195573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634532328118355,0.0,0.0,0.0704259746285299,0.04481119767711062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045846009016071325,0.05774190524045202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129900380338827,0.25310877606791626,0.15460416612773453,0.06647861588140888,0.0,0.1406741567622825,0.06614759786056544,0.0,0.042364380592480606,0.0,0.06529510299945464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887134710933001,0.052588993460399365,0.0,0.0,0.2107872433243933,0.0,0.0,0.14941548088343296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809444628613646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843379685785489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944261225888533,0.053152549699031736,0.0,0.1217666900042802,0.0,0.5374717685987177,0.0,0.0,0.06497209667621777,0.0,0.038560761167777714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044897726942418836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954588943996534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801002346640984,0.05249067954112016,0.0,0.0,0.059458544157318875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374667309998458,0.0,0.04814321082000581,0.0,0.0,0.04697664310606374,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tyranopavlus,2018/01/02,"I don't know if I am depressed.. (first of, sorry for my english- I am a 16 year old guy living in czech republic and i am still learning the language)

I have been feeling down (not really sad most of the time, but definitely not happy) for majority of the past year, plus the last six months have been very stresfull for me due to my school having obligatory dancing lessons ( I know this sounds silly but i cannot handle social situations and i was terrible at dancing- I felt extremely embarased every time and was stressed to the point where I didnt eat even the day before the event). 
When the dancing lessons started I basically cried myself to sleep every night. The lessons are over but I think they opened some emotional flood gate, because since then anything slightly sad just throws me of for the rest of the day.

As I said I almost never felt happy for the last year and after the mandatory lessons I think I haven't had single day when I didn't feel like shit- I am afraid that I might hurt myself or worse...
I would really like to know if what i am experiencing is some form of depresion.
Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say. It was hard for me to put this to words.",4.229536271809,5.639377747933889,4.8177961432506935,84.46740128558312,71.10743801652895,7.8571166207529854,27.08080808080809,8.344100000000001,1.7195226813590447,973,33,194,15,18,311,140,242,0.136,0.78,0.084,-0.929,0,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,2,1,5,7,15,1,2,14,0,25,3,2,0,1,39,39,16,0,4,9,0,5,2,0,2,0,3,1,1,7,6,1,0,15,4,0,5,8,8,0,2,11,9,33,7,27,26,8,36,0,4,0,0,7,7,1,9,26,136,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094077076896953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938922243114393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362456952186412,0.0,0.10277237509191144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326679197103539,0.2336736195520387,0.0,0.10402509739515954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358507560695248,0.0,0.13585792667920396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977210337472616,0.0,0.20351974975336998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221370122651907,0.08628314965312545,0.2319298194313096,0.0,0.0,0.10273289822253276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958826942776075,0.0,0.2571388341125874,0.10819251502456767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995886373898595,0.0,0.0,0.12929433149494565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912772657133204,0.19689883357993127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801113325983625,0.0,0.10664834912506116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812536529707744,0.0,0.0,0.09640309014783333,0.0,0.08878502956523039,0.0,0.0931507077093359,0.0,0.0,0.1133410810778065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673519855827475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152953617702856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417335216673885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141429550323757,0.0,0.0,0.12080973538617265,0.0,0.15474574360100396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148866335486348,0.09604675890979816,0.0,0.12223282399664352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397590765005312,0.09990802499435103,0.13575846613458056,0.12086427514289515,0.12311699409038247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352000208803549,0.08548661861755624,0.0,0.09645270926275408,0.0,0.138349704316552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119528202124687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477811554807894,0.0,0.0,0.14085213987024756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199968988727065,0.0,0.0,0.12573316993971806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965371620172796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308213364958087,0.08579655205223377,0.0,0.0,0.2333293838128147
mentalhealth,Tinypopplio,2018/01/02,"Worried about medication So I managed to stick to my New Years resolution and make myself an appointment regarding my mental health. I suffer with pretty severe anxiety and depressive symptoms, and have struggled with self harm for 5 years, amongst other things. 

One thing that put me off getting help for so long was my concerns about medications. I’m worried my doctor will just write me out a prescription, tell me to take it and hope for the best. Even if they don’t, I’m incredibly concerned about side effects; I know a lot of people personally who’ve had major issues with commonly prescribed SSRIs.

I’ve also been on a beta blocker before - but not for anxiety - and I experienced pretty bad side effects with that, one of which was actually heightened anxiety. It took more than a month to get it switched for something else. 

I feel like I’m being silly and irrational but I’m genuinely really concerned about this. Is it worth me being concerned about? Should I mention this during my appointment too?",7.196967213114758,8.477398491803282,7.380450819672134,69.31034836065578,64.08196721311475,10.253005464480877,35.46857923497268,10.317481424215053,4.01895300546448,816,37,128,19,12,264,119,183,0.139,0.758,0.102,-0.6261,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,3,11,9,0,1,6,0,11,5,0,3,0,26,23,12,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,2,12,11,0,1,4,0,1,2,2,5,0,2,5,2,17,4,24,14,4,13,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,3,7,91,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.1368627329629796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215702556228856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32187016255108525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710200556485285,0.0,0.0,0.11934151696279326,0.0,0.14718260843396286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079620534446245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355073155752213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715999188551855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263310125448143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091407738701919,0.10019386978964663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465485637590253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907806344150615,0.0,0.0,0.09400590725167966,0.0,0.0,0.13929884133689074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463834541251298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707714885159966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851854717345941,0.0,0.0,0.12411589732236587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923463228480034,0.0,0.0,0.0936172555950819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825721014923511,0.1413379432497654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194536477194653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545329888789567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007262099116176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723095506684286,0.12245996356935225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853671820070952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098892035302993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984706137404785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463102301616576,0.15844138039338454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797048491060686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466186419789764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577234760961688,0.10544974766379034,0.0,0.12258375409621207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863503258793725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558217312601026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28485921007498016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063143648807686
mentalhealth,zerophase,2018/01/02,"Is it ever ok to call someone out for their harmful behavior? I've been in and out of this relationship with a woman. I think she might have borderline personality disorder, or some form of abandonment related personality disorder or attachment style. She always seems to try to keep people at a distance.

What I'm curious about is it acceptable to call her out on doing this, and bring up the trauma from childhood I believe is the cause of her behavior? (lost a parent when she was three) It just gets frustrating since I always see her dropping close friends every couple of years over a fight, and avoiding any close relationships.  I just wish I could help without getting thrown away for confronting her. ",6.72892361111111,8.394424531250003,6.919166666666667,70.78694444444444,65.40625,10.37638888888889,34.53472222222222,10.504223727775694,4.029205555555556,572,26,93,15,9,184,89,128,0.152,0.7240000000000001,0.124,-0.6072,1,1,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,5,11,3,1,6,1,9,0,0,1,1,26,19,6,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,6,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,8,0,1,3,1,13,3,23,14,2,17,0,2,1,0,19,11,0,5,4,69,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622216029881892,0.0,0.0,0.10715295330868037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480421328117447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752734873459994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321793024617802,0.0,0.0,0.16186771912771702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580676471180824,0.17434812662102633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611775739261451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253101954872202,0.1327594589936949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173813432851223,0.0,0.1646475662527095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561580028732133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005539055526145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720061882505857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715679142513165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749627562112462,0.0,0.0,0.10923914711648827,0.2751679640920067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338342264279094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556283075654726,0.14344574315384584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034347146605568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335084873718519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096444649291984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697963691756696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119763913776474,0.1518917862297414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146986651945653
mentalhealth,ashermah,2018/01/02,"Help I need help.  I am scared of effort.  I dread doing any work, and I want desperately to change but I don’t see how.  Any effort I put into something doesn’t seem worth it when compared to the outcome.  

Also, I get very angry sometimes. I want to lash out at the people around me, but I don’t because I am afraid of the consequences.  I well up and want to cry.  I want to be all alone. I get angry at how hard it is for me to get what I want.  I get violent urges, but suppress them.  

I don’t enjoy doing anything.  It is all just to pass time until sleep.  I hate people, but desperately crave interaction.  Can’t things just be easy?

I lack emotion and sympathy also.  I can empathize just fine, but I find myself callous and uncaring towards others.

What do you think my problem is and what should I do?",0.8742140921409245,3.1088111097561004,2.9291869918699187,90.2896612466125,84.24390243902441,5.351761517615177,20.696476964769648,6.691623216298621,0.3848411924119244,618,19,130,7,18,208,90,164,0.239,0.603,0.158,-0.969,0,1,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,3,10,9,2,3,3,0,18,1,1,2,2,33,32,16,0,9,8,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,3,0,1,2,5,6,1,0,0,2,27,3,18,29,3,12,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,1,3,96,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167931002089556,0.0,0.24967670866479905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212315618830488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846239228535736,0.13896792901295393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516110600735103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514003447801168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147571868087536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559886117662574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267856167397594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262369243073949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984080936999305,0.15412290261596748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092698642815971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575103130689753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164492569209762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937288892712908,0.0,0.15693020305891625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562898929344885,0.0,0.1243967118544391,0.14211354323838696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621929165859624,0.0,0.0,0.1201784514624596,0.1543933729198289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371025754051982,0.1000267760948658,0.0,0.0,0.09102698664726597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288042553333085,0.4603784488027412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403585391254365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364743007539906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QuiteLucky,2018/01/02,"Is this an example of anxiety or something else? I have a problem doing the same thing over and over, such as pressing the exact same keystrokes 25 times in a row, and similar exercises.  I start to feel really jittery and it feels extremely uncomfortable.  I first noticed this when I tried to enter in the same values in an excel spreadsheet using a shortcut over and over, and realized that I felt really uncomfortable doing it over and over again.  Is there some kind of medicine that I can take for this?",6.696418439716313,7.644046797872343,7.090212765957446,72.13333333333334,65.06382978723404,10.521985815602838,33.751773049645394,10.504223727775694,3.748296453900709,405,17,69,10,6,132,60,94,0.111,0.8290000000000001,0.06,-0.5921,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,8,0,6,1,0,1,1,18,12,9,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,4,6,2,15,11,4,15,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,2,5,59,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606146676122173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359376168193316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856145369826202,0.0,0.2711812200117795,0.0,0.0,0.2402384716518391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29411186172168113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215533229850447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702514819122447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618692899795816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174317229513645,0.0,0.0,0.19990845151549394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123554445301202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876367993625624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468971184878686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175435050777054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439325535365946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stargives,2018/01/02,"xpost from /r/PTSD. How to know if a therapist is good or not? I'm finally able to afford EMDR therapy, barely.

I found a place in my area that seems pretty good, but has no reviews online.

Hell, most therapists / centers in my area, especially for PTSD, have either no reviews or little reviews online.

Being broke, I don't want to have to throw down $XXX amount of money for someone that isn't good or that I won't work well with. Maybe I just have to get over that aspect of finding a therapist and figure I might need to see two or three before I land a good one?

Anyone have experience with this?",3.5872635445362704,4.837579884297521,4.964077134986232,83.41864095500459,72.4710743801653,7.691827364554638,24.18824609733701,8.167268648758528,1.3454730945821851,470,13,94,7,9,157,80,121,0.155,0.737,0.107,-0.7959999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,22,19,8,0,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,1,1,6,2,1,3,1,1,8,5,17,15,3,12,1,1,1,0,0,10,1,8,1,63,13,4,0.14397513734415648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067076361971736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251223760994595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083531098543106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771772551140767,0.13159066720302426,0.0,0.0,0.1578613067789339,0.0,0.0,0.0752210669076692,0.0,0.0,0.4830380574006165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912497020922178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443009112445624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446423770359454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273486851985849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067557400383509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756127917024167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042337497872388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647447467520305,0.0,0.0,0.33659846186559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472954393942228,0.13106955771012746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198966665472367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464811711068136,0.501498694017921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406427887795618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492026627276535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945093919128572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481561472215577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kelekona,2018/01/02,"For mental tests, do you feel that you would answer one way except for life experiences? I self-identify as having an executive function disorder.  Something similar might be part of my diagnosis, there was something in my file about having a symptom.  I think I was put on ADHD meds at one point and... well that's a different story.

The question of ""Do you lose your keys"" I would answer yes except... I habit-formed.  At one point, I would put my watch with my keys and have an alarm set so that it would beep at about the point where I was getting frantic about finding my keys.  At some point, I developed a compulsion about putting my keys where I could easily find them.

I developed a compulsion about memorizing the last place I saw a lot of things... but that might be autism, might be growing up in a disorganized environment with no training on how to be neat. 

That brings me to a theory of mind problem.  Suzy puts a ball into a basket and goes outside to play.  Adam moves the ball to a cabinet.  Suzy comes back inside and want the ball.  Where should Suzy look?  (From what I understand, Autistic children expect her to look where the ball is, not where she left it.)

I have spent about 8 years married and have been moving junk around the entire time.  Even now, hubby asks ""do we have"" for things, but the phrase ""where is"" has started replacing it as he built up the mental catalog.  Bless his heart, he started just looking for things before we moved, but it still came down to me reciting the last time I saw a particular thing, including when.)

I still have trouble with typing something and assuming that the person on the other end ""heard"" it and is on the same page.",5.588692722371967,6.522817015723272,5.640871518418693,81.59141509433964,67.52201257861635,8.950224618149146,28.66486972147349,9.107695989026183,2.2086152740341416,1313,43,253,23,21,413,174,318,0.065,0.872,0.062,-0.2523,1,0,3,0,0,0,52.0,2,4,1,1,24,9,0,2,26,1,31,3,1,1,0,50,49,15,0,9,7,0,1,0,0,8,2,1,0,2,17,16,0,0,10,5,1,11,2,5,1,3,9,8,33,4,43,27,5,53,1,1,6,0,17,27,0,7,13,186,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610715935824228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859662353719878,0.08253902691359044,0.0,0.0,0.0678893917226825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512810071122644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097998870369933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605382854902339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049220585782756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224402953690472,0.101187737999445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819854009762467,0.0,0.0,0.05831456761530535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863643472180887,0.0,0.0,0.04464196604302144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139052050884586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612776650311128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462381548605154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393591065582298,0.0,0.0,0.09592710529936148,0.0,0.06236168330110808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22242353886370653,0.09877368119544204,0.0,0.07506081446368157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807004309307364,0.0,0.17795066637365545,0.28098451570549804,0.08914751013939626,0.0,0.0,0.2815141938142148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948232152172253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560922895739564,0.0,0.0,0.07709123120162557,0.09224402953690472,0.0,0.333849522985138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844813965427592,0.0,0.3550224624931431,0.09890476069327696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921054967827724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039093603963396,0.0,0.0,0.12498392271694107,0.0,0.14101666617867512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176688792670158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23462322930921264,0.056572526626880976,0.0,0.0,0.1029649625213006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191277564155784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05207560029453368,0.07008031854134321,0.0,0.0,0.07938311622133186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508741088251254,0.0,0.0,0.056855724216747526
mentalhealth,BLXll,2018/01/02,"Can anyone tell me what my behavior indicates? My personality type is one where I love everything. Everything interests me to some degree at some point. I take up all kinds of hobbies: collecting cactus (reading about them, labeling them, buying books about them), perfumery (making my own perfume, understanding aromachemicals, oils, and naturals, sampling perfume every chance I get), new sports, new cars, new programming languages, new clothing styles, new historical periods (reading about them, collecting artifacts from them, etc.), new musical instruments, and on and on and on...

The part where this gets questionable though, is that I tend to get tired of all of them. I'll collect cacti, or soaps, or watches, for a year or two, and then one day I just don't care anymore and I'm on to something else.

I look back on things I used to be into and think ""what the hell was that all about?"" But at the time it made perfect sense. Right now I'm really into perfumes. It's my obsession. But I have a feeling it won't be long before I've learned everything there is to learn, spent way too much money on designer and niche fragrances, and just stop having any interest.

Is this some kind of A.D.D.? Is it normal? I feel like I know a lot of people who are (and always have been) very good at one or two things. Those one or two things define them. But with me, I'm just pretty good at a million different things and then forget about them.

Thanks!
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mentalhealth,woobwoobzoob,2018/01/02,"Sometimes I really hate psychology... They oppress us. They tell us what's healthy, what's not.. they destroy us till we act as they want.  I remember the many times, when I've tried to express myself, to talk about the things I enjoy and my mom just says ""are you taking your medications?""... even stuff that really does make sense she'll say this.  The cultural divide doesn't help. (south-asian) but I grew up in the west. I haven't had a creative burst in a while and I think it's cause they smashed my drive to do so, to make connection and just go nuts.",1.4833783783783794,3.831343936936938,2.4751576576576566,93.792195945946,82.60360360360359,6.222522522522524,20.06081081081081,7.492282038375204,0.495383783783784,431,12,95,7,12,136,80,111,0.119,0.8320000000000001,0.049,-0.8092,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,4,2,5,0,6,3,2,0,6,0,6,1,0,3,0,14,13,9,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,1,2,21,1,10,11,0,12,0,0,0,0,20,4,0,0,4,60,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632548744459908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502066659871926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133691261235008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975491400096486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694627394480558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504923630152356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22914716906083066,0.1740198957183954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729130935876943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010271707258996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991885610647355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19443899122691666,0.0,0.0,0.27299611427942394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976012963376955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649111163880506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290547933804519,0.13796080298443342,0.15002426660257528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403252893226434,0.10998243095271887,0.0,0.0,0.10008689337615127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653488865962665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6193991545121585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123997380370683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crazylost247,2018/01/02,"Ingrezza 
Good afternoon redditors 

Is anyone familiar with this new drug out on the market? any insights would be appreciated 
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mentalhealth,Depressed_Doggo,2018/01/02,"Obsessed with Unintelligence, Inadequacy, and Obsession: How I Got Over It (X-Post r/OCD) 	I've seen posts with similar topics, but none that are too recently. So I decided to start a new thread about this particular obsession I've been having, and one that appears to not be completely unique. I know how isolating it is to feel like a burden or freak. Even when surrounded by your friends you can feel as though you're hiding something below the surface. You feel evil, corrupted, impure, and it scares you. I know because I've been there. If you read this article and it sounds like something you relate to, please get help. The only thing you're doing wrong is not giving yourself a chance. 

	I'm 16 years old and from San Francisco. While I'm aware that I'm intellectually gifted, it was never really explored by my family, which is reflective of the bigger problems my family has with adaptability. I was adopted by my great grandparents after a traumatic first couple of years and while they've always been excellent providers, they struggle with the nurturing aspect of parenting. That issue became apparent in elementary when I was leaps and bounds ahead of fellow classmates and my folks refused to put me into faster paced courses. As a result my grades begin to slip in middle school due to lack of interest and drive to learn, and as my grades kept falling so did my confidence. I developed a better vocabulary and worked on building a unique personality, but I had absolutely no faith in either. My self esteem got reduced further by my great grandmother who believed in a ""Tough Love"" parenting technique, and I was subjected to constant scrutiny regarding my competency, intelligence, and even my parents. This total lack of parental support has instilled me with remarkable self-doubt. I often times second guess my intuition, obsessively redo entire projects, and constantly self deprecate my intelligence. The cycle then continues when I try to focus my energy on a different project, only to be stifled by fear of failure and negative thinking (""Nobody is going to like that"" or ""You're doing this all wrong""). I oftentimes quit on promising projects because I feel that what I do is entirely worthless. 

	My sophomore year in high school is when my obsessive thinking and unwanted thoughts of self-loathing came to a head. I became totally obsessed with trying to figure out what was ""wrong with me"". I knew my mind was different but I was taught that different was wrong. I poured countless hours into taking tests and pouring over countless research papers. I compiled vast amounts of psychological information trying to figure out what made my mind tick. I cold never find the answer that satisfied my question though, and that eventually led to a cycle of self-destruction. I would have an anxious episode, then I'd start thinking that something was wrong with me, then I'd meticulously look for an answer, not find the answer I wanted which made me feel stupid, which then caused my anxiety to rise and the cycle continued. Looking back now I was only looking for answers because I craved reassurance. I had no confidence in my own logical reasoning. I begin to use marijuana to alleviate my near debilitating anxiety, and at my darkest point I even tried cutting. While I didn't cut for more than a year, I became obsessed with it, and the damage is extensive. Cutting was my greatest mistake. All it ever did was reinforce the idea that I was a freak or an outsider in my mind. My thought process made me feel like an outlier, and my anxiety told me that I felt like an idiot because I was one. I begin to withdrawal socially and most of my interpersonal relationships suffered. I begin to obsess over going insane, fearing that I had already lost touch with reality. At one point I went two months without being sober a single day.

	However I'm not going to let this post exist as just another sob story. I was able to find my way out of that terrible dark place. Currently I still find it incredibly hard to take compliments seriously, I mostly assume people are just being nice or praising my work sarcastically. Even though I know I've written this eloquently, I still fear it doesn't make sense or that people will be antipathetic towards it. I'm still obsessed with my intelligence (or lack thereof), but I've overcome the obsession with what's ailing me. As it turns out my family has a history of OCD that skips every other generation. It manifests itself differently from person to person, and in my case it had troubling effects. I don't take any medications for it or attend therapy, as I was able to have several personal breakthroughs on my own. I went to a psych for a few months but therapy wasn't that effective, all I gleaned from the experience was a diagnosis and information that fed my obsession. I've learned that introspection is one of the most powerful tools a person has. If you ever feel a compulsion or unwanted thought bubbling to the surface, think about it. Ask yourself why you're having that compulsion and once you have an answer, ask why did you give that answer. That's personally what led to my breakthroughs. Once I understood ""why"" I understood everything. 

	Thank you for reading and if you have any personal experiences similar to this one (or with OCD in general) please post in the comments. I'm eager to read about your experience with OCD and possibly administer advice if needed.  Don't ever give up on yourself because I can say with 100% certainty your situation will improve. Just be patient, have faith, and never forget that you're special. 

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mentalhealth,little_kid13,2018/01/02,"Should I see a psychiatrist? Hi, I'm 13. I'll just cut to the chase, a couple nights ago late at night I got these really weird intrusive and unwanted thoughts/images that appear in my mind for a brief second. They weren't negative, just really random and weird as well as annoying. Because I've done some research and found people with mental health disorder like OCD, Anxiety and maybe even Schizophrenia get these, but theirs are very negative and frightening. Mine are just really weird, I also got them last night too. They could be an image of some guy eating taps, or someone jumping (which I had actually seen earlier that day and it kept replaying in my mind). They're very random and weird. They make me very worried because they aren't normal and makes me think as if I'm insane. These images just pop into my head at night and sometimes are very vivid and sometimes are very faint. Should I see a psychiatrist? Please help",5.405740659340658,7.0998477542857135,5.4382857142857155,80.04925274725277,68.6,9.041758241758243,26.60439560439561,9.466822959209583,2.326969230769232,747,23,135,16,13,234,110,175,0.152,0.762,0.086,-0.8431,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,6,0,8,8,2,0,6,0,12,4,1,2,0,36,26,17,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,12,1,1,2,0,0,3,4,6,1,1,8,4,17,2,12,14,2,16,0,0,4,0,9,5,0,7,9,80,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.1125703685509904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225572764254434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224978509339572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824667372805725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063933516864147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210201355419048,0.12763871289419065,0.0,0.07439478132928012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322074448278582,0.0,0.0,0.1180487698407829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803751779469834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619124740888243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648139746363574,0.0,0.0,0.0602685094613525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452072939899145,0.0,0.0,0.11422012254546356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838806595210445,0.1226175466554334,0.0,0.0,0.0773203880719979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403016285867373,0.1301260756738997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635689088556418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400143979181294,0.0,0.1158901465676314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625125421226774,0.0,0.2329524260807135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330134462883091,0.1130239386545026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997300806056475,0.0,0.0,0.1266257442673797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216991417561964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384686335005304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774037621657106,0.0,0.2281791609295873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391517332699864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4759020149358369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371848571368153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171491521799376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SourMangoes,2018/01/02,"Just need some ‘stalling’ advice Hey guys, first off I wanna thank people on this and other mental health related subs there are some great communities out there and it’s very heart warming. 

Anyways, to get to the point, I’m diagnosed OCD but their is obviously something else going on. Family history of bipolar, depression, anxiety disorders. In the last year I’ve been up and down severely, resulting in my applying for computing masters, not going to it, having about 4 different plans for my future which I want to pursue, and quitting 3 retail jobs (each separate few month stints.

After quitting my latest retail job which I was in a severe low during my time there I got really high, felt amazing and what not but it quickly got to my mind going fast than I could keep up, and the world is going to slow for it. I would either be super productive, usually around one thing, or do nothing at all cause I can’t keep up with my mind.

I saw my gp and they referred me to a psychiatrist. As well as prescribing some 2mg diazepam, (I’m already on 80mg fluoxetine a day for my ocd). Finished that diazepam mixed with weed usually quite fast, was the only way to stop my mind sometimes, that was 4 weeks ago and the psychiatrist appt is in a week. I’ve been stealing some of my mums 5mg diazepam (for back pain) and smoking a lot, or drinking using the holidays as a cover, to cope with my mind. 

Some days I’m really turned on and getting plans sorted and stuff done, longing for a stable life. Other days my mind is so on fire I can’t accomplish anything even though I want to do a million things. My sleep pattern is all over the place with no pattern at all and whilst I know how I want to proceed with the next few months, my mind keeps speeding up and questioning things or getting in the way. Also, I can feel this month long ‘high’ maybe dipping and I just know it’s going to push me into a depression again.

Long post I’m sorry, I just wanted some advice on how to cope with all this, preferably without stealing my mothers diazepam, in the last few days before I finally get to see a psychiatrist. ",4.454817518248176,5.80215004136253,5.400201946472019,80.7470182481752,70.48418491484185,8.39970802919708,29.028467153284673,8.841846274778883,2.3258589781021897,1661,63,313,30,30,545,217,411,0.108,0.812,0.08,-0.9329,3,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,2,9,20,12,0,0,20,0,21,8,2,5,5,79,53,27,0,9,12,2,4,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,19,24,1,4,7,2,2,6,6,6,1,3,10,6,35,6,60,40,16,75,0,3,2,0,7,30,0,12,36,213,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443656840673034,0.0654794228711881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151504762987763,0.059072120722883585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650872962553835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060786975172914384,0.06575807830183646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056799843757299816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285612926996681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758826654527973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897749526446652,0.0,0.0,0.19055469882716852,0.0,0.12724460173939578,0.0749743480840817,0.0,0.0771762175546108,0.08465899550257405,0.0,0.0,0.07559249245039011,0.0,0.07236240522821934,0.0,0.0,0.061707139163652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878904119297304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963606764066667,0.0,0.03734982199604999,0.0,0.07092475336245202,0.08091865707712265,0.0,0.06283198500743886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437168392684505,0.0,0.20990410586234806,0.0,0.11815779074061065,0.08143960368038441,0.0,0.07314081936513067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851810723938618,0.0,0.08753379905324453,0.0,0.1560909516700331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660495516608832,0.1969715098903735,0.0,0.0,0.0811917152601146,0.1204243701241454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052175071510645016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961122604713863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279983404842213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421021871980382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444145388589464,0.0,0.4475130372020896,0.0,0.1768819225284222,0.0,0.0,0.05477210054334029,0.0,0.0,0.07855933341264275,0.0,0.0,0.07087822761674532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005479040218093,0.05617985494395738,0.07860063741523239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121069043080115,0.0,0.0771762175546108,0.0,0.0698290272708001,0.0,0.0707450145924986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274893634603456,0.23570276393225,0.0,0.0,0.09464331689389333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886314041459654,0.0,0.0,0.1668993681523833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392123122296675,0.0,0.0,0.05686710651581501,0.0730572267850402,0.08268904929128795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061756859210879415,0.0,0.0,0.08456105526786335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800762378690996,0.0,0.0,0.14722362097122607,0.0,0.07257482168970257,0.0,0.043072957610048083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034704687833416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637981354162526,0.16271007808595253,0.060948740964743814,0.17427676903511571,0.11726577724749755,0.11850472296059075,0.0,0.06641609953963895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120600488850436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247362593196582,0.0,0.0,0.04756849590597252
mentalhealth,jess7373,2018/01/02,"Bringing meds to plane? I was prescribed xanax and lexapro. And i'll be flying to another country for a week, for holiday. Will i have problems bringing my meds with me? Any tips? 


Edit: can i put them in a pill box? Cs i need to break the xanax in half. It'll be convenient if i can break it bfr hand.",-0.6600000000000001,1.5318953809523848,1.3749206349206349,97.67285714285715,95.1904761904762,4.704761904761905,21.285714285714285,6.42735559955562,0.31873333333333376,231,9,53,3,9,76,44,63,0.045,0.8420000000000001,0.113,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,8,4,1,0,0,6,11,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,8,0,8,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,32,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928987438606865,0.33813670342431723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7163803888656803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391065646057173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085591369108512,0.0,0.3241702584645491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586650586299669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NudeLurker,2018/01/02,"Paranoia is getting hard to deal with I have a few issues I've done a good job with working around and paranoia is one if them.  Lately, though, I've been having a hard time ignoring it.  My mind constantly goes into mild panic attacks over if others can hear my thoughts and I regularly feel like I've seen something out of the corner of my eye (not see, just feel like I've seen).

I know neither is possible or actually occurring and that has helped me keep going without losing my mind, but lately it's gotten harder to ignore.  It's like my brain is on autopilot with these thoughts and I'm constantly fighting them to remind my brain that none of this is real.  Thankfully, I don't have any negative thoughts.  I just wish I could better cope with what's going on in my mind.",3.8572510822510857,5.451278512987017,4.89292207792208,82.84033549783553,72.31168831168831,7.730735930735931,27.119047619047624,8.344100000000001,1.874499567099568,617,22,118,10,12,202,95,154,0.111,0.732,0.157,0.8895,1,0,1,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,2,3,4,12,2,1,4,0,14,3,3,0,0,34,32,9,0,4,8,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,9,11,0,3,6,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,8,9,16,6,18,23,3,15,0,1,4,0,6,8,0,3,8,78,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.12196527495888898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499265335776268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126127303779973,0.0,0.1421860843583674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105372125848458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790444867169767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701242135572887,0.0,0.09978867042898504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885187511455487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279008930815392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639021243720502,0.17857560803487452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529840332259966,0.0,0.14206131710180284,0.104829721210371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392024668787247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086480434136134,0.0,0.08377339891942864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044966913405615,0.1240262365222814,0.1110905382706339,0.0,0.0,0.06868732962738221,0.0,0.2819722952528033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318098575574396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982388832814655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785912811470205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469164315027371,0.0,0.0,0.14664049633569254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089943328323984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225789492631538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995951844497236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621793745072127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506745626105128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279505819229695,0.29766736990384784,0.0728785302271112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372415931566704,0.1204790492122628,0.0,0.09098903493398504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlothasarusRex,2018/01/02,"I keep this around to remind me that falling down/failing is OK. “If you have made mistakes, even serious mistakes, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again and again, you may have a fresh start any time you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford

Even though falling down sucks and it may take me a bit to get back up, I know that when I do I can try again. It took me a really long time to even accept that. ",5.632941176470588,5.632298176470593,5.153725490196081,88.39176470588238,67.23529411764707,8.368627450980393,28.764705882352942,7.793537801064563,1.4950470588235296,402,12,86,4,6,122,64,102,0.138,0.78,0.081,-0.4649,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,5,0,1,11,7,1,0,5,1,10,0,0,1,0,18,18,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,5,0,0,2,0,13,2,10,14,1,19,0,1,0,0,7,5,1,3,9,63,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802909230145425,0.0,0.0,0.14734640194100485,0.2272025863175516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928866509024948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166609668607432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365529364562128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212493584313801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4293352999122061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132037229332934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925906588063048,0.0,0.0,0.11907889070045345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917505199873772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050230847976215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880752675110308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533636509087259,0.23094667633459195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291260332713095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394921463758278,0.0,0.21288204669420094,0.0,0.25268982161345416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407338514973117,0.29421614792733164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,socks-on-fox,2018/01/02,"A small vent and a question I've recently been going to the doctor for problems with sleeping. I have bouts of insomnia, wake up feeling like I've barely slept regardless of if I've had a decent amount of sleep and feel tired through the day. I did all the tests my doctor could possibly think of and I'm perfectly healthy. When we first started my doctor asked if I felt depressed and I dismissed it because I feel the same as always. 

Now I'm starting to wonder if it's mental rather than physical. It's been like this for a long time, sometimes better, sometimes worse. 

I looked back through a few logs I kept of how I felt when I was so tired I could barely get up to go to work, and I would often write things about feeling disconnected. I haven't thought about it for awhile, but it's still there. It's not strong or oppressive or anything like that, just sort of a general sense of being in a dream, things flow past me and nothing really matters. People stop mattering, I stop caring about stuff I love, that kind of thing. 

So I'm starting to think that maybe I am depressed, but I have a habit of self diagnosing and scaring myself. I didn't really think about it before, since I don't feel 'sad'. But it all sounds like, at the very least, there's something mental going on that's making everything messy. Maybe it's just stress? I don't know.

I think I might look into it more, talk to my doctor about it, that sort of thing. Im at the point where I don't really care what is is that's wrong, I'm just sick of feeling this way and at the very least if I know what's going on then maybe i can do something about it. 

If anyone read this I could use an opinion (I won't take it as gospel but it'd help)  or even just some support. I don't mind either way, I think it's good to vent sometimes just to think things through. 

Thank you. 
",3.104860426929392,4.422035751322753,3.822019704433501,90.87642857142859,73.76190476190476,6.8010946907498635,23.881043605181546,7.237678284180719,0.7626723955482575,1446,41,314,15,29,459,180,378,0.129,0.748,0.123,-0.6322,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,1,1,0,5,25,21,0,2,16,0,26,14,4,3,3,77,69,28,0,12,20,0,8,4,0,3,9,1,0,1,32,11,0,3,19,2,0,5,8,7,0,1,11,11,35,14,44,50,10,36,1,3,2,1,9,12,0,16,21,203,67,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338011045581284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326031285693277,0.0,0.06268198223657889,0.0,0.07120930664850919,0.0,0.0,0.05857055376267418,0.0,0.0464329415811905,0.0,0.06481564129737677,0.0,0.0,0.06736677948069235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532217637637402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182448277777068,0.0,0.0,0.049123789319193714,0.0,0.13121139591567146,0.07731164022287992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31185568815952497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050310017971750116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845729868354868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310851170570141,0.05441635140691623,0.14627160235404787,0.0,0.0,0.06479074434814402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03979603822285959,0.0,0.17315821881410273,0.06388835530279778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105560344233727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227740897599377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932004525146275,0.08372283107055405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885259342553572,0.0,0.0,0.06740865781567508,0.12792837987920253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874701562800116,0.0,0.05084452261309386,0.0,0.22957106839098326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352426656754928,0.0808050578841233,0.076910676365414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308782501177412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271353615279312,0.0528071610534214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200591630912734,0.08587100062488681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288505689321499,0.0,0.0,0.08532859783503609,0.0,0.07619129622156068,0.0,0.14639067065301142,0.0,0.07520936051125468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626014211937633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946263494581839,0.0,0.0,0.06300917639562131,0.0,0.1524513858188707,0.0,0.0,0.11727982681586872,0.22600426054597106,0.0,0.16174200517656215,0.0,0.06083000611928899,0.12736420396085493,0.0872532604268433,0.0,0.08719720876271478,0.0,0.08643758880540675,0.0,0.0,0.057270874322856075,0.061223109984836786,0.0,0.0701277313772718,0.0,0.0,0.25302208705819296,0.29284258953078657,0.0,0.06047101423428801,0.04441573801147086,0.17509399070790174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578701406860397,0.0,0.1256975820108324,0.0,0.12092148598408115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260385687238099,0.055453164669353454,0.0,0.07762443378011306,0.05410946801021208,0.08328068477217175,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Il_Capitano_Crunch,2018/01/02,"Access to Therapy - MB, Canada It's been over a year since I started feeling depressed. I'm struggling because I find myself feeling like I'm more of a leech than a contributor to society. Nothing I do feels productive, yet my motivation to do anything isn't there. I would like to seek help, but am having trouble doing so. 

I would like to talk to someone, get their help, and try to get out of this hole I keep falling deeper into. How do you find the right therapist, psyciatrist, what have you. Where do you look. Can therapy be prescribed? I don't have a lot of income, but need help getting my life on the right track. 

I don't know if I'm depressed, but feel like I'm quickly headed that way. Please help if you can. Thank you.",2.2694227005870857,4.4384610890410965,3.752485322896284,86.7335616438356,78.5205479452055,6.36320939334638,26.18199608610568,7.447530270364453,1.4188626223091978,573,23,114,8,14,189,90,146,0.09,0.6970000000000001,0.212,0.9428,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,5,1,1,6,9,0,1,6,0,18,2,1,2,0,22,35,8,0,5,5,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,8,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,5,17,5,15,31,2,13,0,2,1,0,11,7,0,3,8,74,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499275797505575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518320293642273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24071287722127935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826236396192288,0.1996582144962692,0.0,0.0,0.2554366459930035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902256574091689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341186461321248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374654689620776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420586866607565,0.0,0.0,0.07679654429199301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870133122248556,0.27307640312231823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734502245052987,0.0,0.0,0.11880055056303668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361421807302243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408271839236086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339074886794293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386715797550775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559300955292726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183998529622586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890752542716516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608486692274214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231639488353876,0.0,0.12865230093027247,0.3196059697678098,0.16224699807442627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948731689672805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091780026411677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985322332523905,0.0,0.0,0.08998691777955549
mentalhealth,smalltownsam,2018/01/02,"I need to relearn how to fight 31 yr old m, and left a very toxic and abusive marriage in the beginning  of 2016. I was accused of 8 counts of assault, didn't see or talk to my 5 yr old daughter for 2 months, and was forced to sell all of my belongings and move in with parents to afford lawyers. Since then, I have dropped my lawyers, represented myself, and have had all charges dropped, given 50/50 access to my daughter, and the only thing left to figure out in court is financial support for being her immigration sponsor. 

With that said, I was the victim of abuse. I don't need to get into the details but I was treated extremely awful, manipulated, blackmailed, punched, etc. I was stuck in a spiral of misery, with only my daughter keeping me fighting for a better life. I was the only one that worked (4 jobs at one point) and was told I was fat, lazy, and not a real man because I had trouble supporting my family. All the while my ex stayed home and never did anything because she grew up with a mother that stayed home and never did anything.

Now, the title of this post is that I need to learn how to fight. This is because since leaving my marriage in early 2016, things have gotten a million times better and I now have a house with an amazing girlfriend who has accepted me for me and makes me the happiest, luckiest man on earth. My daughter loves her too and this is extremely important.

The one problem is that when my SO gives me criticism, I become really offended, and feel useless...I put my guard up, just like I had to in my previous relationship. I had to stand up for myself. I really had to. If only I had the time to explain the damage and how I was treated. This behaviour is not wanted, and it is not received well. I need to find a way to get rid of my learned behaviour so my new relationship can thrive.

Now an even bigger problem is that during my marriage I sufferred from depression. Back in 2014, I disclosed to my family doctor that I was depressed and had reactions to my ex that I didn't like. When he discussed this with my ex, she completely threw me under the bus and lied that she was perfect and I was a monster. Her  lies and manipulation won him over and he still continues to think that I was the destructive factor. I assure you I wasnt. My friends and family know the truth, they saw it all first hand. 

Long story short (since I could go on about this for days) is I need to relearn the ways I used to handle conflict before I was forced into very destructive ways to resolve it. I need to get rid of the impulsive reaction and approach the situation with dignity and respect..my partner and my daughter deserve that 

Thank you! ",5.683548850574713,6.051253454022992,6.392181513409962,78.28815732758622,67.14176245210729,9.283620689655171,33.17073754789272,9.188382445141503,2.8802277777777783,2101,88,398,36,32,691,242,522,0.179,0.6940000000000001,0.128,-0.9799,3,0,0,0,5,0,61.0,0,2,1,7,17,34,8,0,28,1,44,5,2,7,9,82,77,37,0,11,7,10,2,2,3,0,3,1,2,3,23,35,1,3,10,0,1,7,9,15,1,5,34,5,70,19,65,41,5,62,0,4,2,1,44,23,0,2,25,291,93,7,0.0,0.1934477977446765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435698307150762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277212860530894,0.0,0.14929146439015384,0.09015923210163787,0.06946520921827708,0.0,0.0,0.1443987080068349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559254338795927,0.0,0.0,0.06517875178282158,0.0,0.0,0.05264769790668511,0.0,0.14062388162274025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355668550944327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091044390497502,0.05391902099909246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308740960020409,0.0,0.04127701195340229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746127358928318,0.06943852627951827,0.0,0.0,0.06307085042746619,0.0,0.12795245403155686,0.07831154681384801,0.04639494286031489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377273774134735,0.0,0.0,0.09419560833695484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100995083000148,0.07256076855452832,0.0,0.0,0.04486435573459245,0.0,0.0,0.08643947490705617,0.177392916265434,0.0,0.05766107936584745,0.07976528765292383,0.0,0.0,0.07224423649232074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367860177176926,0.0,0.05449186847843362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516012518362747,0.08676488196422998,0.0,0.3631870560046324,0.12592359365194553,0.07884340660331138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132399782134305,0.0,0.16595357659062268,0.2483478014227088,0.0,0.0,0.09064579384466737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717128059287934,0.0,0.07818358045419896,0.0,0.0,0.15622697313890865,0.0,0.08206553007731265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291828403653912,0.10459469721574646,0.0,0.0,0.1752904663878938,0.0,0.0,0.077653396924049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505237296084186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20258747117435244,0.09176094495001344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402368768887874,0.06519366340044996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527642619911855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561496668030961,0.0,0.075158363546462,0.0,0.0,0.10846907852814126,0.05230828892171903,0.0,0.0,0.09520382647747948,0.0,0.0,0.07800555776147101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050626368339685,0.0,0.1347145327553428,0.048150325049899696,0.19439373324249865,0.0,0.0,0.0733994966531825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943111274481998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NickNameIs_A,2018/01/02,"any tips? So I already share my problem days ago and I think I should delete it and try to use my crazy (but sometime disturbing) imagination for something. So I think I should continue learning 3d which is I have already started before the previous post but the problem is, it's hard. Like when I plan to study it, my mind will become busy and hard to focus. Or I'll suddenly become tired or sleepy or don't feel to do it. And the effect? Things that can be done in a day, needs weeks or months to be done. I think this may be a problem since this will affect my future. I'm a self taught by the way",1.982815249266864,3.7662136451612938,3.175718475073314,92.37221407624635,77.87096774193549,6.121994134897361,22.56304985337244,6.980632752743323,0.5381870967741942,468,14,103,5,11,151,77,124,0.147,0.813,0.041,-0.9016,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,7,0,16,1,0,3,0,27,25,13,0,6,6,0,3,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,12,2,8,14,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,5,11,65,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299433062336982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311281230011542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202691635159317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33139715063635194,0.12766619605490667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935164782034775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070696867126909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586069573396277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687984358140417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329806507798475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514895678117716,0.0,0.11975412455054535,0.0,0.0,0.11124683952892148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368919957005058,0.0,0.0,0.4306811338999498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565161144589787,0.0,0.0,0.12410803481947735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155019765589064,0.14838550108466847,0.0,0.1061934338166222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967460546872743,0.2884033753267597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243973289712472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018618911573034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957949142885694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908843164928425,0.12034663421557495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aminakoyimsikerim,2018/01/02,"What is the name of the mental illness in which you constantly scream, move your body uncontrollably and probably cry? Because this is what I'm having. There are moments which are okay, in which I feel fine, and there are moments like this. They especially appear when I think about my life's situation, what I want to study, to work, etc. Because I have absolutely no clue about that, my reaction is a mixture of depression, crying, anger/hatred (calling names on everyone, beating into pillows or other furniture), screaming (either ""normally"" or ""diabolically""), talking to myself about things which make no sense (like e.g. discussing (!) with myself about why the color of my PS4 is black) and shrinking/moving my whole body uncontrollalbly. 

It's sounds stupid but this ""no orientation"" and ""having to study a subject I don't like"" is making me feel so. Is it Borderline Personality? I don't really know, this ""phase"" lasts for about 2-3 hours, then I chill and become relaxed and normal again (even to the point where I get positive etc). ",8.811413043478261,8.858786880434785,8.45230434782609,67.2361739130435,60.6304347826087,11.273043478260867,35.791304347826085,10.793553405168565,3.950882173913044,822,32,135,18,10,263,120,184,0.132,0.773,0.095,-0.4739,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,1,2,12,11,1,1,6,1,14,4,2,2,0,24,24,12,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,1,1,16,8,0,0,4,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,0,7,18,6,19,24,4,16,0,1,2,0,9,6,0,3,11,97,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831337577298206,0.16589560933294364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336998319837289,0.0,0.0,0.15338163508651742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232410262654762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329998189796412,0.0,0.0,0.12937601610375973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350486530520299,0.09921256686388444,0.0,0.0,0.1435324950594857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190180505826364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847874563114196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792700778812615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255171942380539,0.1224415420025074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609806309584473,0.2201556738618052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053324577408735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513767752042402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596499063560167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943486411451547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131157946341405,0.0,0.0,0.1419974008044675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195224033738906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622864249797544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884280755950046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073344709191472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979312964823936,0.09624877299364888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859799853582932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554154184672615,0.16770457150338716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935497599427392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pushpakchakra,2018/01/02,"Aware is completely free for people diagnosed with mental health problems Hello,

I want to share with you all, on behalf of the makers of Aware Meditation App, that Aware is completely free for people diagnosed with mental health problems.

All one needs to do is write to contact@awaremeditationapp.com.

Aware is one of the highest rated meditation apps available on Google Playstore and Apple Appstore with a rating of 4.7 out of 5. In partnership with many NGOs and Self-help groups, we have helped 13499 students from across the globe fight their suicidal tendencies and depression in the year 2017.

We're extending and opening our community program and are making Aware totally free for people diagnosed with mental health problems. Please spread the word and help us to help people in need.

The app doesn't collect any personal data, except your email-id, which is mandated for digital services.

Regards",10.004313725490196,11.089414790849677,8.547189542483661,64.0623529411765,57.954248366013076,11.505882352941176,37.26143790849673,11.20814326018867,4.606288888888889,745,31,106,18,9,227,96,153,0.109,0.765,0.126,0.2684,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,3,2,1,0,0,9,1,0,7,0,9,6,0,2,3,29,13,6,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,15,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,7,7,28,13,3,9,0,1,0,0,15,8,0,0,1,64,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170558045006744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519483139713653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034843354238448,0.3658467461530859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831389639482228,0.0,0.0,0.3221339216779171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020052825198604,0.12181243713524448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632464219964563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17817822829463772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283242349748533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331853261127033,0.10490965266553884,0.0,0.1318877485077205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448996920863926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534182585300058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314237308063031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445247017286122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086711489871446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737214968102461
mentalhealth,lilmissdesperate,2018/01/02,"How to describe ADHD and Bipolar Disorder when submitting them as my disabilities? I am applying for a scholarship that awards living costs, mentoring and summer jobs and it asks if I have any disabilities and to 'supply details'... what exactly do I talk about? I am not sure exactly what kind of info they are looking for. Do I talk about how they became serious mitigating circumstances? How they affect my daily life? How they could affect my university education? All of the above?",5.4376764705882366,8.323475988235295,6.73963235294118,65.6670955882353,71.47058823529412,10.838235294117649,31.801470588235286,10.686352973137794,4.60385294117647,389,18,58,14,8,131,59,85,0.08199999999999999,0.883,0.035,-0.4445,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,5,1,7,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,6,4,18,9,11,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,13,3,9,8,1,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,47,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432734075620907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19423913050965896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670267793130435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22805341183139646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32735830302737584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834450671997165,0.0,0.0,0.2974411241357929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017498881089065,0.0,0.0,0.2522177381633744,0.0,0.2398584178785441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692041917273265,0.0,0.0,0.4591593612749061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,discreetguy123,2018/01/02,"I need someone to talk to but I have no one I know I should probably go to a counselor and tell them instead of you but I don't have the money and really need to get this off of my chest. 

My life has been going down hill ever since year 9. I was in the top classes through highschool but my grades were dropping every year. I was bullied in a weird way I don't even know if it was really bullying I guess probably not but it was my group of friends who were doing it. We had a large group of friends (about 20 of us) who sat together at lunch/recess. It's probably my fault really I am argumentative and when there was something brought up that I would disagree with I would let people know. Soon when I would mention things I was told to shut up straight away. I still stayed with the group because there was really nowhere else to go and I didn't want to be alone during the breaks. I should mention that I did have one really good friend Harri who never did any of this stuff to me. He made my time at school bearable and was always super nice to me. But when ever he went away for basketball or when he was sick things seemed to get worse and I would have water tipped on me or small stone's throw at me. From about year 11 I got the nickname turd/tool from the people in the group and I guess I really just wanted to have friends so I dealt with it. I did talk to a teacher about it once but these people were the good kids in school and I was told that I was over reacting. 

Home life at this stage wasn't really much better which might be unfair to say but I felt really isolated. I am part of a really big family, I have 7 siblings with me being the second oldest. I was always the one causing all of the problems, getting into fights or arguments a lot and lying about things, sometimes school sometimes things from home. No one at home really liked spending time with me because there would always be a fight of some kind. It's really all my fault, I should have changed the way that I was acting but in the end I basically just kept to myself. I never had any friends over because I would get embarrassed by the fights and arguments between mum and dad would have. My parents still loved me but I am the black sheep of the family I guess you could say. 

During this time around about I developed an addiction to porn and I hate it. I feel disgusting afterwards every time but it is basically the only thing that makes me feel good at all so I keep doing it even though I hate myself for it.

While I was at school work was really the only escape that I had. At work I was probably considered annoying but I did my job well and the Managers appreciated and would give me praise after each shift. So during my gap year I worked there a lot. My gap year was probably the best time of my life. I didn't do anything substantial besides work but I just felt valued there. 

I moved from my town to Newcastle to study at the University there and for the first 4 months I was too scared to talk to anyone and introduce myself and ended up feeling incredibly lonely. I sat on my own in lectures and didn't talk to anyone. I had overheard conversations of people who were sitting nearby me and we shared interests but I couldn't bring myself to talk to them. Desperate for friends I did something that I am ashamed of and will never forgive myself for. I created a fake Facebook account where I posed as a fake person who I pretended knew me in real life. I found out the names of the people who I had over heard and I added them. I felt a lot more confident when I wasn't approaching someone face to face and basically convinced them to come talk to me during the next lecture. They did and I was accepted into their group of friends and I didn't feel bad about what I had done but I really should have and I do now. If I couldn't talk to them myself I don't deserve to have them as my friends. It is not relivent any more but I lied my way into being their friend and I am a terrible person for it. 

The rest of that year didn't go too badly but at the start of my 2nd year at UON the people that I had bonded with there the most had all dropped out and fell out of the group. I was alone again. That year I failed most of my courses and I am too ashamed to tell my parents about that because my dad is very strict in that area and I can't have them being mad at me. 

Recently over the Christmas break I told my family that I was going to change degrees and that really didn't go over very well. And in the end they told me that I was going to be unsatisfied with my life and end up on the street. This new degree was more in the direction I want to go but they all think I am doomed to fail and I don't know how to deal with that. 

My life feels like it is over and I have done some really bad things some of which I haven't mentioned in here but I really don't want to deal with it anymore. I needed to get that off my chest sorry it was so long and thanks for reading it I guess 

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mentalhealth,RuffSamurai,2018/01/02,"Drowning. I was sexually abused by my older brother growing up for many years. Though I’ve blocked out most of it one of my earliest memories is him ejaculating in my mouth. I remember not thinking anything was wrong, yet being shocked, thinking he peed in my mouth. Sorry to start off on such a awful subject, but that moment shaped who I am. And who I always will be.

So far I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, clinical depression, General Anxiety Disorder and social anxiety disorder and OCD. I am constantly scared I have schizophrenia or psychosis. That is my  most severe phobia.

I haven’t been to a mental health clinic or any kind of therapy for many months, but my mental state has been deteriorating rapidly. I’m scared to go back to the doctor because I don’t want to be diagnosed with anything else. 

The worst part is, I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me more then I deserve. Yeah I know how awful. But it really is. One minute I love her more then anything. I’m on top of the world and feel like the luckiest guy. 
The next minute I can’t stop thinking about her flaws, and how much I loath her and ways to get out of the relationship. I think I deserve better when I don’t think anyone better even exists. The mood swings are constant.
I think about how I’m dragging her down with me, and how I’m better off dead. I usually just want to be left alone. 

I fantasize about suicide a lot. I envy the people that have the courage to go through with it, as sick as it sounds.
I fantasize in general a lot. I escape as much as possible, be it through alcohol or fantasy games or literature. 

I’m irritated, agitated and anxious all the time. I get intrusive thoughts constantly. Which just make me more anxious and scared. My doctor said this was normal with people with anxiety disorders like ptsd. But they scare me so badly.

I have no direction in life. I clean constantly and that’s about all I get done in the day. I wash my hands so often I have cuts on them. 

I am so quick to anger. And I have no social skills. 

I look around and see other people my age. The peak of there lives, socializing, happy, living to there full potential, going to university and excelling at life and fulfilling their dreams. I am jealous of them. I am so bitter. I feel like the scared little kid I was wen I was being abused, it’s not fair man. I never had a fucking chance. 

I don’t know what I’m doing here, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just scared and angry and hopeless. ",2.360636918701907,4.711599440573772,3.91457343593175,84.7354449648712,79.18442622950819,7.344329207092674,24.713282034125122,8.354732019191555,1.769786165941786,1949,72,382,41,49,646,232,488,0.267,0.605,0.128,-0.9978,0,1,1,0,2,2,61.0,0,0,4,6,28,31,5,6,19,3,41,18,3,5,3,73,76,42,3,3,13,1,3,3,1,1,12,2,1,3,18,27,1,2,13,3,0,4,11,18,0,2,12,8,63,12,54,57,14,51,0,2,2,3,26,23,1,9,25,266,81,3,0.0,0.15990890966832622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211712168297217,0.0,0.06989040571305645,0.0,0.0,0.056149952023594935,0.0,0.0,0.045889683526493495,0.0,0.15486931791373626,0.15246960647953695,0.0,0.04718458188493352,0.0,0.16659439073310764,0.06007277578413296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188905099908864,0.05634417177541565,0.04113605077914654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904551168913532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916937919518373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04351993699053167,0.0,0.058121653091393215,0.136984453266506,0.0,0.0,0.23201868057604205,0.13814019731513846,0.0,0.06905692756245325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056372072161890274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04457084525577512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824127286832005,0.09641748803601838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238549069721061,0.10576877923716732,0.0,0.11505374804073852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681722087773599,0.0,0.07183523249127254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172959996695075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027152056612637,0.1112580803523987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331876649309353,0.0,0.09532825329819736,0.09890404796539326,0.06763411657837085,0.11917467045611288,0.0,0.05666740197369484,0.0,0.0,0.11474058997755912,0.12180924272666893,0.0,0.04504437567015904,0.13683114810360886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601081065069182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386303019958909,0.0,0.09921322483355884,0.0,0.05204583561343258,0.0,0.07176726181362322,0.0,0.06611746954258124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145432100220026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307580803815482,0.0,0.14034937167168918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607516822910923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776435099106478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04323032927708531,0.0,0.0,0.07244979700502135,0.0764433006233382,0.0,0.06419028895100537,0.0,0.4053640762555149,0.0,0.05377395944943908,0.0,0.0,0.07623480323976849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20636644615655853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755399313081802,0.04776370044982085,0.0,0.0,0.0564174935203941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381372705941464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717089137573067,0.0,0.0,0.25943623692613665,0.06630015814828298,0.053572714273520006,0.03934896200875778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432125672689567,0.0,0.07960458654657226,0.05356361473495391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756069122693374,0.0,0.04345582569842417
mentalhealth,saltywaterx,2018/01/02,"Feeling scared I just don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know. 

I'm convinced they're poisoning me, they're watching me, tracking me, my dog is their spy, they hate me and want me dead. Everyone in the world can read my mind, they're watching me now, controlling me. I have parasites, I'm sure that's how they'll get me, some nasty parasites. Everything is some elaborate lie and they're going to kill me and that's it. I'm the weak one, I'm wrong it's my fault. Everyone hates me, they know I'm weak and they're laughing. You're laughing, they know I know. Everything is fake and it's after me.

I just. I know my ideas are unrealistic and fake but I'm so sure it's true. They ARE poisoning me, watching me, tracking my every move, and they ARE plotting my death. My family. They don't want me dead, yet I believe they do.

I don't know whats happening. I've been having these thoughts for years, but the poisoning and plotting my death only really hit me these past six months. I've had no hallucinations, I don't use any drugs, never drink, and I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression (I've taken Zoloft for my depression for over a year). I've never actually told any doctor all of my feelings though because they'll use it against me or lock me up. 

I know the internet doesn't have my magic cure or answer. I don't know what posting this will accomplish but I feel a bit better having said these things. I have an appointment this month and I hope I can work up the courage to discuss it with her. I'm taking someone I trust along with so perhaps if I chicken out they can help me find the words.",1.7888554216867476,3.85732148493976,3.3128765060241,89.78991716867473,79.63253012048195,7.041566265060243,23.62801204819277,8.07648339933343,1.2688265060240969,1271,44,275,24,32,418,150,332,0.197,0.679,0.124,-0.9816,0,0,2,0,1,1,44.0,0,0,11,4,8,26,6,1,9,0,28,10,0,4,6,58,63,21,5,4,8,0,3,0,0,3,9,1,0,0,17,17,1,1,16,2,0,2,10,16,0,2,7,7,59,10,18,52,4,19,0,2,3,0,16,6,0,6,10,162,76,4,0.0,0.0,0.10103036113722794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080792201944972,0.0,0.07920017879186653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631109367637514,0.0,0.0,0.11664287499818354,0.0,0.0915638857889165,0.11302796332731105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611771617142433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783405019868908,0.10508078685207807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596735821936773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142000129647878,0.1200619498430886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722850361145469,0.19785473375382226,0.18609220527974613,0.0,0.09759888505812024,0.0,0.15704366030879607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462455893118472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409016026561913,0.0,0.05883849388796612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155125115011024,0.0,0.0,0.2044289136381151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939398734087054,0.0,0.0,0.10282866593107012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687278623791507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454062334894505,0.0,0.5120765027694002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045358029722859,0.0,0.16527334192000556,0.11003602251462707,0.0,0.0,0.1596974613752211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015461815390911,0.07873924233560686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883111484512627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991531368956291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355803259587244,0.0,0.06632397922518526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848075325907307,0.0,0.1036516068764484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772064650721817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515162952279289,0.0,0.07784168748978604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878074225920104,0.0,0.10171771497433513,0.08219126821217887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892736687691113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883338609938818,0.0,0.0,0.12212937149990387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537108461409972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263876399520449,0.0,0.13333987175356898
mentalhealth,jasonmatt2677,2018/01/02,"My eating disorder and muscle dysmorphia story So I'm a guy with an eating disorder and muscle dysmorphia. I have been struggling with this for close to 10 yrs. It started out as a desire to get in shape during my senior year in college and I recognized that I was severely overweight and I needed to do something about it. I hit the gym and I was using fat burners (Hydroxycut) I went from 220lbs to 130lbs in the span of a few months, which I now know was dangerous. During that time I would spend at least 1.5 hours a day at the gym, i cut back to drinking only water, no sugary foods, no fats, only organics, and etc. It was working. However, I had a lot of anxiety about it and I was constantly body checking and worrying about how I looked. I would monitor my food intake and if I over ate just a bit or had some time of drink that was high in calories, I was completely overwhelmed with guilt and racked with anxiety. I would go to the gym and lift more, increase me ""eating right"". I would get so frustrated with how I looked, I started punching myself in the face over and over. I was finally at a place where I was able to manage my weight. However, I became pretty worried about how it all looked. Sure, I was very muscular, but was I bulky like the guys in those magazines? I started lifting heavier weights and experimented with steroids. At one point I used for about a year ( I no longer do thank god). Before you know it, I was muscular, bulky, and I was 190lbs of pure muscle. Despite having the body I've always wanted, I was so unhappy. I was still focusing on my weight, body checking, monitoring my caloric intake, and going to the gym obsessively. Trust me, if there was and is a way for me to get to the gym, I'd get there. I knew that I likely had an eating disorder and have muscle dysmorphia. I did get help and was in therapy for a year and Im on medications that makes it manageable. I feel better and less anxious. I'm happier. I still have rough days and times, but I get through it. What I want to say is that as hard as it has been to live with mental illness, no matter how hard we struggle, we have to keep in mind that we will have better days and things will improve. We just need to be patient with ourselves, lean on our supports, and keep our chins up. How else can we look toward the light?

",3.84729946524064,5.0957378679653695,4.957463712757832,83.72216195569139,71.83549783549783,8.292436974789917,27.441049146931487,8.757208317658263,1.9852862745098039,1813,64,366,33,34,597,220,462,0.117,0.787,0.096,-0.1437,2,0,3,0,0,0,61.0,7,1,0,3,22,16,3,5,22,0,42,24,8,8,3,75,77,39,0,11,7,0,7,2,0,6,5,1,0,2,21,38,16,2,4,7,3,4,4,8,0,1,26,13,57,8,61,43,10,55,0,1,4,0,12,29,0,5,23,261,78,5,0.07418409478422815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172710962440633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350125891827592,0.08380691144310891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057042989778178774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312520074461997,0.0,0.0,0.13121960666026333,0.08098981799227947,0.2472054170947008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778061196979626,0.08016665207925608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352781211636442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550641988938697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534434141739175,0.0,0.30363539617532515,0.06197129209709273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273487536425979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256627951071376,0.0,0.0,0.03750970730555333,0.0,0.0,0.0812650497462159,0.0,0.0,0.179407403757218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325487661349656,0.0,0.08432106127802405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690783408630656,0.0,0.0,0.1329087553709492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972403500026295,0.0783795691289695,0.0,0.0,0.07305639011453029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013155242154503,0.0,0.0,0.13187646399496775,0.0,0.0,0.08153927682345599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248520305641512,0.0,0.06550591481009421,0.0,0.2491838235082153,0.0,0.0,0.06306866453721674,0.0,0.0,0.049518459317408905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473267093250922,0.07476011925719636,0.0,0.07490478822382261,0.0,0.0592130366992231,0.0,0.0,0.11001313259850658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0502690625252562,0.1128406938934887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775065897698069,0.0,0.07012794798958398,0.0,0.0,0.07547189405904954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335281161072334,0.0,0.058994169703958724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380691144310891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711054047185371,0.0,0.0,0.15752365233515125,0.0,0.11848702784437275,0.0,0.0,0.15510664592460238,0.0,0.0,0.0841832316398457,0.06991763140143524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829874752985328,0.08483597759373293,0.0,0.04928461623974572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977202672411206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281424787704087,0.0,0.061209647383896684,0.08751140229471578,0.05888388145433506,0.0,0.2710087264070883,0.0,0.06876939908362156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400690453122274,0.15067509847007501,0.0,0.21079300995622305,0.0,0.0,0.14331637445986814
mentalhealth,selenadahmer,2018/01/02,Friendly Reminder Toxic romantic relationships can be difficult to end ― especially when the other person refuses to take “no” for an answer. But cutting this person out of your life is often the best and healthiest decision you can make. ,7.962416666666666,10.350431075000003,8.785,55.82666666666668,63.25,12.333333333333336,38.333333333333336,11.855464076750405,6.0210833333333325,193,10,24,7,3,65,36,40,0.123,0.6759999999999999,0.201,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,5,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36659604193805023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093991139547229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698883691374021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467392554132089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331777899809284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.610035905981988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750453480341937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626496467770941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gladdzilla,2018/01/02,"Withdrawing from Effexor I've been on Effexor for about ten years, give or take a year or so. About a year ago I started to notice that either it wasn't as effective as it once was or my depression/anxiety was changing and it just wasn't enough anymore. Fast forward to September and there was a huge change in my home life (had to evacuate Florida due to Irma, wound up just packing all of our stuff in less than 24 hours and moving back to Michigan). We get settled and I go see a doc about my meds as I'm needing a refill soon.

She suggests I increase my dose and start talk therapy. Also determined that I had PTSD after witnessing an awful car wreck that ejected a passenger and then the driver taking off on foot. So, she referred me to someone that could help with talk therapy and PTSD treatment.

Increased dose was effective for about two weeks. After that I kind of hit a wall and just became overall numb. My husband kept telling me that I was changing in front of his eyes. I couldn't accept that, so, back to the doctor.

She switched me from the Effexor to Wellbutrin. She said I shouldn't have any issues with withdrawals in the transition. Oh good lord was she wrong. So, she prescribed me a month of a lower dose Effexor to wean me off of it. 

Those pills ended last week Wednesday. A couple of days later the brain zaps started. I kept a positive attitude about it thinking that it wouldn't be anything significant and would be over in a day or two. It's now Monday and I'm dealing with brain zaps that make me dizzy, nausea, and I'm ridiculously emotional.

I want to wait a solid week before I talk to the doc again because I don't want to go back on the Effexor just to go through this again. 

I'm curious to see if anyone has gone through this process and how long it lasted for them. Thanks in advance.",3.864738095238096,5.450032949999998,4.633174603174607,84.74500000000002,72.27777777777777,7.920634920634923,28.968253968253972,8.527137837955566,2.146575396825397,1442,58,282,25,28,464,191,360,0.076,0.8420000000000001,0.083,0.1321,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,0,1,3,23,7,1,0,21,1,21,12,4,4,1,45,49,27,0,9,10,1,0,0,0,3,8,1,1,0,21,16,0,3,5,0,0,11,6,3,0,3,15,4,33,4,54,26,6,59,1,0,3,0,20,16,0,5,34,193,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878451991594481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924935776970622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739065300393449,0.0,0.07581039035680112,0.0,0.0982794841531474,0.06929225787986734,0.0,0.08154995426379515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286028206250897,0.0,0.060409772109437786,0.0,0.08432586837202928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212543018023952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145005013347812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912241113707398,0.1096510524460907,0.0,0.12782118973598053,0.10216661866290802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143192748087886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114729287145667,0.08777221488006792,0.10239565869614464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177508721255098,0.09506469875998083,0.16896057272958007,0.08311945900606564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642390647313247,0.0,0.09940428079838047,0.0,0.09759245854055444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343350913033142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319625882354666,0.0,0.16155766671946992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999648663714457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876994116284372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614928797262311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007654215688162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909979975837754,0.1053264518766504,0.0,0.0734805816794723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282475909025876,0.0,0.10553709858071866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23168263141086365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426575117743108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793799230768846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396617981809543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042814304915095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344453593843612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902008567785774,0.2389558358400396,0.08661681010548165,0.09123695649661316,0.22665646668509815,0.0,0.0,0.06349857628037471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193610459256482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690220235196383,0.0,0.2384734898386429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039701815454134,0.1083490947780662,0.0,0.19144933537956796
mentalhealth,Starlord_who,2018/01/02,"If all you did in 2017 was survive its ok I still love you regardless.This fresh start, this new year is about you not just surviving and learning how to be better, but living as well. Make some fun memories with this fresh start you've been given! And you have plenty of time, 365 days to do so :)",2.782,4.469013200000003,3.25,93.135,75.33333333333334,6.8000000000000025,20.333333333333336,7.554174236665415,0.4002333333333329,232,5,51,3,5,72,50,60,0.02,0.6629999999999999,0.317,0.9682,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,3,6,5,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,2,1,12,12,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,5,5,7,7,2,8,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,7,34,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055975598697522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22284143999794345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30511366757606284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118587586670391,0.0,0.2306472442809468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333719781878522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891427940341082,0.0,0.2759446359202113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014841923682857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106773929281817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22251316165837529
mentalhealth,ofcoursethrow_away,2018/01/02,"Depression and anger issues over the past month Within the past few months I've been feeling spurts of depression, even to the point of getting unnecessarily angry, numb, and having suicidal thoughts. I've felt this way years before, and ended up moving far away and making myself very busy with a job that was able to have a good impact on a lot of people. I also ended up going back to school and keeping myself incredibly busy with that. Now, I'm in the city that I went to graduate school in, and at a job that I worked hard to get via school but realized that I really cant stand. My plan went I realized this was to work for a couple of years, and within that time figure out what I really want to do with my life. This changed when my coworker started to get passive aggressive and then yelling at me. My manager is very motherly but doesn't want to necessarily deal with the situation. She thinks that the relationship will just magically improve over time. It has taken many discussions with her for her to talk to my coworker just about communication. I've decided that I need to leave this job as soon as possible for my sanity. Finding a job that I actually like has been an issue though, and trying to even get an interview for these few jobs have been impossible so far. I know that I am feeling myself at times and can get a lot done, and move forward with projects. But when the depression hits, I cannot do anything, and end up just feeling disgusted with myself in every possible way. It has gotten to the point that I get incredibly angry with my SO over things that should be non issues. She is incredibly understanding and tries to ask if I am feeling ""sad."" If I feel like it at the moment I say yes, and she hugs/cuddles me. If i say no, then she does the same but tends to give me some space. She is a wonderful person who works way too many hours for her to come home and deal with a person like me who's really letting the emotions get the best of themselves. I cant stand it. But its so difficult to control. I also find myself getting mad at the most random things, such as things that friends say, and I actually have road rage which has never occurred before. I just want to go back to feeling good again. I think i have always had some sort of anxiety about life, but not to this extent. Sometimes I wish I was back in high school (something almost no one says right?). Even though it felt like a prison academically and with sooo many rules, I was just enjoying life.

Has anyone else experienced these spurts of depression/anger before? What has helped, what hasn't?

Example: Tried posting to r/needadvice, but got banned because the post has too much relationship information in it (it's depression, how can it not?). Got really angry that they would do this and almost sent a terrible message to the mods. This unnecessary anger has got to stop, just cant stop it when it does.
",5.8911337061515,6.440943690391459,6.440613116420948,77.4861103202847,66.72241992882563,9.910401626842908,29.402338586680226,9.888512548439397,2.6384909405185564,2302,75,445,49,35,751,248,562,0.141,0.752,0.106,-0.9767,5,0,1,0,1,0,63.0,0,0,1,6,32,23,6,0,28,1,43,4,0,3,1,94,89,44,1,10,18,1,9,4,1,3,4,5,1,2,43,30,0,5,21,0,0,9,11,14,0,1,20,15,50,9,72,63,11,74,0,5,0,0,32,30,0,13,34,312,93,17,0.05826352815620268,0.0,0.11371359773095095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166850145984637,0.0,0.0,0.09318664483296467,0.04847992281988759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044571439565205616,0.0,0.0,0.040739213581322466,0.05969786986124076,0.04794591929822375,0.0,0.0544685338278835,0.0,0.05474050262081722,0.13440317027747148,0.0,0.035516905981504344,0.0,0.1487339134479288,0.0,0.06114397822590197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163508732112515,0.05018887050121551,0.0,0.0,0.06534750107553848,0.0,0.06446748571482155,0.0,0.0,0.12013427837221755,0.20072916570621294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197361224096116,0.05962381796870425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867170156186721,0.06553862711923163,0.1548125772451014,0.0,0.0,0.1154475325522525,0.0,0.04908953535696488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767587427535205,0.041623476156394584,0.11188424794256832,0.0,0.1065036184039185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501425732455162,0.0,0.24352230978538286,0.0558916852376402,0.06622501146940647,0.09773736624610528,0.13979599782331414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052192677104739064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039052814780638975,0.06155861638669805,0.058443069258385175,0.0,0.0573778389398561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824359581657049,0.28908780742576856,0.05178730087264483,0.0,0.0,0.03202011135175208,0.0,0.0,0.0616926637280744,0.0,0.05957840501452241,0.12345975898187643,0.1138584674105477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906713622983952,0.0,0.0,0.038891357467975986,0.1772102181841239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301078461559724,0.12384981959182065,0.042830397082280015,0.043201667873339664,0.044936424746640856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03948087455060332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123826056144752,0.040392594361161265,0.10174693091390292,0.0,0.0,0.11015573308839573,0.1313667474802965,0.11160070889380218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930043223906864,0.0,0.0,0.1251064494460839,0.0,0.049756734698887764,0.0,0.18533398446639335,0.0,0.23586320414156425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549064679370714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044854110473088016,0.05762411914104179,0.0,0.04123922510969392,0.0,0.0,0.09742183681335588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373084324960678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04683001694873445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612309758462785,0.07466583252867827,0.11448724118675795,0.04625473325677576,0.10192179543229103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867133329888566,0.0,0.0,0.0606543875842876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614702515831224,0.10309601538747147,0.13874063011916205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802174863622044,0.0,0.0,0.06700018198683913,0.0,0.06318431092968839,0.12724962723896038,0.0,0.0,0.04138873873987817,0.0,0.0,0.07503960377557631
mentalhealth,featherflutter,2018/01/02,"First time at a Psychiatrist-- Left with some questions Hello! I recently went a my first psychiatrist appointment and was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD mixed with anxiety. 
My psychiatrist briefly mentioned prescribing an SSRI. I am hesitant to take this because I believe that my anxiety stems from the ADHD as I am only anxious when life becomes too hectic for me to handle. 

I do not really understand how much of a say I have in my medication. Am I allowed to completely refuse SSRIs if I still want other treatment? I am not really sure how the client/psychiatrist relationship works yet. I am just highly convinced that I do not need to be taking an SSRI everyday. 

Any insight it helpful. Thanks!",5.691738181818181,8.360597112,6.966618181818188,65.35530909090912,69.88,10.625454545454543,34.56363636363636,10.637119530657019,4.803959999999999,569,29,83,19,11,192,87,125,0.103,0.815,0.081,-0.1687,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,7,0,10,3,0,3,1,20,17,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,1,16,3,13,14,2,13,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,8,67,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945007609514773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161290549247324,0.0,0.2511154754279394,0.18541831704559905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005111814065484,0.1812668665148405,0.0,0.18491644499581986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172085451210149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658681931795974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792149795576625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001177262956298,0.17341061194598767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832593137614214,0.0,0.11592870672110367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534204439731567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065322133414205,0.1216990910897403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482700528936308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838613133704189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028964617836896,0.0,0.16205694400466006,0.1762124234611868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052145072111385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107311149124265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468902651387026,0.0,0.2468081847830135,0.0,0.0,0.1511073323815819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570456016274016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708633995625874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096807152634431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521486238158075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948739280076467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KINGCOCO,2018/01/02,"Looking to get CBT for anxiety - Therapist or Psychologist? Or does it matter? I read the FAQ and didn't see anything about this question. Any advice from professionals here? I've have social anxiety for sometime. It's not always bad, but some of the medications I take seem to really amp it up quite a bit. My inclination is to go to a psychologist, but after looking online was to what's available, there are not too many in my area. ",4.076282271944926,6.144227746987956,5.810189328743548,74.5253012048193,72.73493975903614,9.080206540447504,28.72461273666093,9.606745405546679,2.9507672977624786,345,14,62,9,7,118,64,83,0.035,0.92,0.046,0.2059,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,11,12,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,13,10,2,5,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,5,1,42,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011185988062874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125334373064274,0.22299887297596874,0.0,0.13996025755018726,0.0,0.3148935731101655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936699813994072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718457001035183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246950687260117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010880641700133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752907440337416,0.0,0.11696857165873603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456630582496568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866261496892333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733547805798644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305582554212324,0.21890802246662888,0.20586922533388347,0.0,0.1318494170069207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400673606065966,0.1873649072317625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098009743817744,0.0,0.0,0.20355484308626265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474616020122445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23896537055875405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HittingandBiting,2018/01/02,Best way to deal with frustration and anger The only way I deal with it is inflicting pain upon myself,3.1165000000000016,5.641849650000001,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,77.5,8.0,20.0,8.841846274778883,1.5764999999999998,83,2,15,2,2,27,17,20,0.345,0.512,0.14300000000000002,-0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389934545123575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6660465218714753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456740873496386,0.3437200021493478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.512802370731711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,underswamp1008,2018/01/02,"Bold question, but are there any drugs that can aid in restoring sex drive? Straight up, I'm a 24 yr old male and I hate living without a sex drive. It sucks. Furthermore, if almost seems like the same pool of inner resource that sex drive comes from also comes my creativity, mental sharpness, increased sociability, etc etc. So, any ideas?

I've been on Wellbutrin with not much success, but I don't think I have tried it in conjunction with Effexor. Is it worth another try in this combo? (I'm currently on Effexor and Rexulti (Rxlti is kinda like abilify)

Thanks guys",3.427898799313893,6.1459197830188685,4.198370497427103,82.12578902229845,77.58490566037736,7.628130360205834,27.560891938250432,8.575989854853784,2.387709433962264,451,19,81,10,11,144,80,106,0.099,0.6779999999999999,0.223,0.9074,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,3,0,7,4,0,0,0,18,16,7,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,4,1,1,6,3,2,0,0,1,1,4,5,11,15,5,16,0,0,0,3,3,8,1,5,4,44,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19055041114685586,0.0,0.0,0.15217681162762814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25881079661096684,0.19953823636786547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278402095389149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22067883991117745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4244527892048384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841945328206494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878744080240276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148170250264748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593456796736266,0.0,0.16803172862800975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917700425624328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988685353807218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967992628548573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317110583840904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323510883153367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519573070370728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193172478849955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25839217862737673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834351409780391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,simply_cissimus,2018/01/02,"Mental Illness when Politics and Economics Won't Relent Hiya! I suffer from major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I'm fortunate to have a psychiatrist I trust, and usually we have been able to intervene with meds at the times when I've needed them and cognitive behavioral therapy for the rest of the time.

Lately I've begun to run in to this one peculiar hitch in my therapy. I talk with him about my domestic life. (My partner and I are college aged, I just graduated and she's got a few semesters left) I talk with him about feeling horribly insecure about my own and my loved one's future in a particularly economically unforgiving part of the U.S. I talk with him about fears of whether we'll ever get out from under my partner's student debt. About income inequality. About the struggle of finding adequate medical insurance where employers are eager to jump through hoops to avoid insuring my self or my partner. I talk about the fact that modern political discourse looks like a Kafkaesque nightmare. 

I've run into a hitch because my psychiatrist is having trouble distinguishing to what degree the depression and anxiety I'm experiencing is just founded in cold reality. Yes, I'm more anxious right now than I was a year ago, but there are threats to my health and my livelihood that truly are bigger and closer to me now. Yes, I'm more depressed now than I was a year ago, but the environment I'm living in is objectively worse than the world I lived in a year ago. 

Has anybody here developed an effective lexicon for talking with your therapist about how your mental health can't be disentangled from horrible, tangible, societal, existential problems. I take alprazolam for anxiety, usually quite infrequently. But I have needed it more this year than ever before, and I don't think it's because my anxiety is unresponsive to treatment. I don't think my mental health is getting worse, I think reality is getting worse. I think my partner and I are going to spend our entire lives suffering from an economic and social burden that was forced on us by a privileged clique of avaricious monsters for their economic and political sociopathy. What do you do about your mental health when reality gets worse? Do you ask your therapist to up your dosage? ",8.359765372168281,8.949266109223302,8.805000000000003,62.510833333333366,61.45145631067962,12.886084142394822,39.982200647249186,12.311054993355176,5.540824919093852,1855,94,293,62,24,618,209,412,0.17600000000000002,0.743,0.081,-0.991,3,1,0,1,0,0,35.0,4,7,2,2,23,19,1,4,20,2,29,8,0,2,3,47,52,23,0,3,7,0,1,1,4,2,7,0,0,6,9,22,0,1,9,0,2,4,4,14,0,2,6,4,50,5,57,43,8,46,0,5,1,1,31,18,0,1,25,206,59,4,0.07664744957259059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038300182108857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345403565189467,0.08658980118789476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165501870523426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934471476870899,0.0,0.06522133423486323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19804900801279265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756892352676072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866401257542005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624969002858096,0.03875525350207918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005438032371995,0.0,0.0,0.08403997227575959,0.0,0.0,0.16018051557944335,0.0,0.04356051193327178,0.0,0.06130196730097238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32589061879734443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646166164579291,0.0,0.08327767822803038,0.0,0.05413836036750064,0.03744607224894491,0.0,0.20304330665691034,0.0,0.06436455348752143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691773157554903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513803754451893,0.07721424172371677,0.30897040598654457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366622532353772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387659096394722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300171864768106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334125777679823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152399734150571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545650314044299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996000609183046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781324223983269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012855623876385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762934318579393,0.30803158306330297,0.0,0.0,0.1753060769554479,0.17798719311087474,0.0,0.1964503631909941,0.0,0.0,0.08938748845647858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092197444484276,0.0,0.16883267406819447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124411971571229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743377815760907
mentalhealth,ch4me1e0n,2018/01/03,"Anyone looking to share problems? This is my vent...

https://youtu.be/tgUA1d1G2NI

Feedback and advice will be great, maybe I'll even find my ego or some hope again. :)",5.146111111111111,8.779605740740745,2.338796296296298,90.31708333333334,84.18518518518519,4.181481481481482,21.564814814814817,5.985473137389443,0.34841481481481473,133,4,21,1,4,35,26,27,0.073,0.596,0.331,0.8591,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,12,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556944108574583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451570613242863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404170960093863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33268736999085824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4013088295699759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615319195638757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056664539954404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656846874335847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482967096252081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PainlessMe,2018/01/03,"Planning Hi, I was just wondering, I plan my next day out in Notes so I can fall asleep and in hopes that I can stick to it and actually get out of bed at a reasonable time instead of staying in bed till 2pm complaining that half of my day has already passed whilst I was in bed. DAE do this? It often doesn’t work but it’s nice to do and it gives me hope and peace so I can go to sleep",0.1947413793103437,1.686290356321841,2.3501005747126453,97.58308189655176,82.2183908045977,6.189080459770117,20.070402298850574,7.1686216300943375,0.09387471264367786,299,8,78,4,8,101,58,87,0.016,0.8220000000000001,0.162,0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,1,0,9,2,2,1,0,13,15,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,2,0,9,3,14,13,0,17,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,4,6,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.2465376556517413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787916493214808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258604412108109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199261247418126,0.24235281134126546,0.14357965449133991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018518779321804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686827373413592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597533203539821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528198482579527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26927785024874645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731489758534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27397447977035,0.18392303358640674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vav456,2018/01/03,"Suicide survivor here: Help me spread a message of hope! Hey guys! 
I am a recovering addict and survivor of suicide and have been going to high schools, youth groups, and literally anywhere else I can to educate and bring awareness to substance abuse and mental health. 
I just created a Facebook page to promote this cause- if you guys could throw me some likes and shares that would be awesome! 
[Facebook page- Awareness ignites change](https://www.facebook.com/awarenessigniteschange/)",7.972370129870133,11.82259680519481,5.174139610389614,75.10978084415588,67.96103896103895,6.966883116883117,36.89772727272727,8.07648339933343,3.4861181818181812,402,21,54,6,8,111,58,77,0.13699999999999998,0.602,0.261,0.8392,0,0,0,0,1,2,20.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,2,0,14,10,7,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,3,6,6,3,5,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,3,2,34,8,2,0.0,0.26182373632815176,0.0,0.2408995033003944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22700609298524715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643358590731897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845994271188479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558734116427064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376074968570034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348901247294371,0.0,0.0,0.14811742767449412,0.2334762285795342,0.0,0.21948180343197626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795907674349853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226946497193114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364233715768145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834298689444533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697699516096528,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dogboy678,2018/01/03,"I’m a funk I guess. Need Help. I have just been feeling down or something. Just like lost in my own thoughts, sort of alone. I’m in high school and on break and I feel whenever I am away from school and friends I get like this. I have been known to get into “funks” like this but never quite as bad as this one. I haven’t been able to enjoy life lately. I’m always just caught up on being alone in my own thoughts. My mind and body have been tense and I’m normally a positive person. I haven’t felt as connected to my family and have been having some bad dreams. I have heard of depersonalization and I’m not quite sure that what I have. I’m not sure if it been caused by outside things but it just feels hopeless like I’ll feel like this forever. I don’t want to die and I would never consider suicide I’m just not sure what’s wrong with me.",0.1983852088321356,2.407960134078216,1.7097047086991246,97.9866852886406,87.3240223463687,5.197233306730514,16.903697791965946,6.655083550727371,-0.3662436286246344,660,15,157,8,21,212,93,179,0.133,0.632,0.235,0.9612,0,2,1,0,0,3,14.0,0,0,0,3,5,15,0,0,2,0,19,2,1,1,5,44,41,15,2,5,12,0,5,5,1,1,1,1,0,1,10,10,0,0,8,1,0,1,8,5,0,1,12,6,17,10,21,27,3,15,0,2,0,0,4,10,0,5,8,95,27,2,0.1266161761130173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26227234602461685,0.0,0.0,0.10535480153642038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189600654078242,0.0,0.21143843658632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406420280878909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006969089897433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314076006891407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193624622882523,0.0,0.2560837721326432,0.09045462151424777,0.12157138513641992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782334357991226,0.0,0.13230345225820422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948199282240367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486815389411016,0.13377694177385752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282856166792368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943274967380982,0.3092913400936354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821651320614378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278462436596606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388429024006027,0.19530840131604046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405696943110207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579839778657401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055636116830532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693437775787524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562846598828014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747531827848356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849754603067674,0.0,0.3580027426368735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411816128004862,0.0,0.0,0.2010382013392394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468150118346238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994449871512251,0.1384349120392649,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,za-ty,2018/01/03,"BDSM/Fetish I was refer by my doctor to a personality disorder clinic. I had my first meeting today with a nurse and she made me answer some question about my mental health, my attitude, my reaction to certain things etc.. Some of the question were more personal, like if I'm into bdsm or any kind of fetishes. I lied because I don't understand WHY they need to know this. Can anyone help me ? ( yes i'm really into bdsm lol) ",2.0778580990629187,4.5811823012048185,4.213895582329319,81.27685408299868,81.40963855421687,7.062382864792503,23.680053547523432,8.167268648758528,1.7708109772423026,333,12,61,7,9,114,63,83,0.064,0.8109999999999999,0.124,0.6096,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,5,3,0,1,1,17,11,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,13,3,10,7,4,4,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,6,3,41,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416923690051905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456905926129513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701470218355335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387993261077811,0.21326592720045787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323771729032492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723143995175805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147759945313564,0.0,0.0,0.1396597339130674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169755260321848,0.1145095496027986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179447596559756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715585995346047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20997850159815099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544967622354982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36386491928238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668231678928417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348115082572487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842553988255638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750150815850245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21691075734907794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188013054333327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AbsolutelyTA12345,2018/01/03,"Possibly Bi-Polar? I'm not for sure. I've never had therapy, haven't had a doctor visit in over 10 years (pretty healthy for the most part)...

I took some online screenings, including the M3 screening and came back with a score of 63 and possible diagnoses of Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder.

A few things that I viewed as ""quirks"" and annoyances may be symptoms:

-An almost OCD-type obsession with making sure things are off or locked (ie, checking the front door lock, making sure the stove or electric kettle is turned off, staring at a light switch to make sure its off, even though I can clearly see that the light is off)

-""Creativity Swings"": writing and photography are two passions of mine, and I can experience extreme swings either way. Some times words fly off the page and I can't stop writing, other times I feel incredibly stupid and can barely put pen to paper.

-Mood swings. They're not violent, but I can swing from extreme personal positivity to moments where I get down on my knees and feel no desire to proceed with the day at hand.

-Energy swings: From barely being able to keep it together on one job to going to school full-time while holding four jobs, I can go across the spectrum.

As mentioned before, I've been managing this for 14+ years, and have never resorted to violence, alcohol or drugs for ""treatment"".

I'm not here to write a sympathy post; it's more about curiosity than anything else. I don't have the money, healthcare coverage (in the US) or luxury to go see someone, but I would like some opinions on what (if at all) this may be. 

Many thanks,
J",7.761910535117058,7.3938976053511745,7.641937709030103,73.55815739966556,62.91304347826088,11.087040133779263,35.40990802675586,10.550175099000144,3.672259030100335,1260,50,228,27,16,404,192,299,0.066,0.8059999999999999,0.128,0.975,2,0,2,0,0,0,57.0,1,0,0,0,6,13,3,1,16,0,23,9,2,3,8,55,41,21,0,3,11,0,3,1,0,3,6,0,2,1,11,14,1,3,2,0,2,8,9,5,0,3,5,11,14,7,42,30,10,39,0,1,6,1,7,17,0,13,13,147,25,7,0.1145749998659302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244583037421038,0.11473031204128835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876495612918712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094285462466987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810110260422843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749488603841976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310432767183868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389139636027894,0.0,0.09868327949613376,0.11629121307911901,0.0,0.0,0.13131287615882978,0.11727236732122093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328706246894743,0.0,0.09571271044511673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567570682888766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207633508764922,0.0,0.0,0.11586512505153755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986070852122111,0.0,0.19534683841714864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273960163088637,0.10183952428408667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597555752770583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294391062998893,0.11616106660673126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673460644259478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763898513345717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240735596025731,0.0,0.0,0.10004247051916802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25833219427753296,0.10973117841631988,0.11656396531963252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517952069256795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595601673162945,0.1826028816358141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707902557647477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578983021680107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319423257368497,0.11908729484462108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548526623984417,0.1310264976569417,0.0,0.1522370776508233,0.0,0.11256935563922807,0.0,0.1336192076191312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272970406120217,0.0,0.12462469881468878,0.1119231264703938,0.0,0.13781961759106706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094430186631124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139079258741598,0.0,0.0,0.14756508684946185
mentalhealth,TomerJ,2018/01/03,"How to internet while starting therapy? So about a week ago I posted about being in that horrible place between realising I needed help, and waiting for an actual appointment to see someone who could help me. (thanks u/mindis_moving for the support there)

So now I've actually seen a psychiatrist, who said he recognized elements of some sort of obsessive compulsive tendencies in me, paired with some sort of anxiety disorder. He put me on some anti anxiety meds until out next meeting, and he also referred me to a psychologist (which I've also just met) to begin CB therapy.

Now, how do you internet while in therapy? Especially when it comes it mental health. I'm always afraid of self-diagnosis, and convincing myself I suffer from every symptom from every disease known to man, and I know how easy it is to fall into that trap. Heck, the reason I know how easy it is to fall into that trap is because I looked up obsessive compulsive tendencies and read somewhere that getting it into your head that you suffer from x y or z is a common occurrence in people who suffer from OCD.

Yet historically, the internet's also been a great resource for me, a source for learning new things about the world and myself, for meeting new people with experiences similar to my own.

How do you guys deal with the balance? Obviously if you're here, on an internet forum for mental health, I'm hoping you have some insight on how to balance the two.",10.016115288220554,8.284839947368425,10.400112781954894,59.98019423558898,59.30075187969925,13.979448621553885,41.33959899749375,12.745084868956482,5.504762907268171,1150,51,186,34,12,391,147,266,0.117,0.7979999999999999,0.084,-0.8077,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,5,0,0,21,11,0,3,14,0,10,4,1,7,1,41,28,23,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,15,14,0,1,7,1,0,4,0,6,0,1,4,4,19,5,43,22,5,35,0,3,3,0,20,14,1,9,16,135,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.2290181231408033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401678135434436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815155477526337,0.09763811149912867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953292550040864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153071673009384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107991615866957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368819944884134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209746569745172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448432864463158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977317309035629,0.0,0.0,0.11478318899193315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130645701439901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293701910945584,0.0,0.1161872277180373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042695167307445,0.2494585454469508,0.0,0.0,0.1573040080147425,0.0,0.0,0.11654728247788433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897641004883656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853789563254774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034073264484314,0.0,0.23650667929010455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700775536373354,0.0,0.2266596582791252,0.12479476221103765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270061512376324,0.0,0.1225976252558807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238139238419813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796132235512595,0.0,0.0,0.11737395568173245,0.0,0.0,0.12064732616565026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161930444973313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350654202282624,0.0,0.1224135072510402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099423666300141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830554139773958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331585393714648,0.0,0.1219634765893996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080329334573924,0.4025731006928292,0.0,0.0779569444428582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462628009893745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412483584268692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WwariosS,2018/01/03,"What's the equivalent of the ""ER"" or ""911"" for mental health ? If I'm having a manic or depressive episode and feel like hurting myself, is there an equivalent of the ER I can call or go to? Like for example if you break your leg you go to the ER to get fixed, where do you go or who do you call if you want to kill yourself ? I'm talking ""right here and now"" emergency type situation, not ""get help"" type.",2.8960714285714317,3.715270750000002,4.479523809523811,87.88214285714287,73.64285714285714,8.457142857142857,25.904761904761905,8.841846274778883,1.6280619047619052,309,10,71,6,6,104,53,84,0.166,0.7659999999999999,0.068,-0.8778,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,6,0,0,4,5,1,0,6,0,5,2,1,0,0,12,14,9,1,4,8,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,3,3,0,0,1,8,2,8,14,0,7,0,2,0,0,11,2,0,7,3,43,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4737393872742902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979743520928012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172921843178442,0.1657210849511314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423919450876954,0.0,0.39550567726640135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24657574827489984,0.0,0.0,0.15548616870743515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24833118609500704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566430229525047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22665993439918655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337735566985048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810310957554425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607466276969546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864505787038134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682329542391775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StaleToastCubes,2018/01/03,"I may be in need of help I've been struggling with a lot of things in my life and I just can't seem to handle it. I've become an introvert, cut myself off from the world (aside from work), don't interact socially and have a legit panic at the thought of having to leave my apartment and go out into the world. I'm clean right now outside of the pain meds in prescribed for my broken hand. I constantly crave attention and human interaction, but, I can't stand the idea of having to deal with people. I have dark urges and tendencies but I rarely to never ever act on them. I don't really ever feel anything emotionally, but, I'm always in a state of anxiousness and depression. I am thinking in going to a therapist as I broke my hand out of rage. It was a rare moment for me but holding onto everything is wearing me down. I constantly think about death and dying, but, I am a coward, so, I have only ever acted on it a few times with no success. Any suggestions? New ways to cope? My coping mechanism is Reddit and writing things down that cross my mind in my phone. ",4.606617940199335,5.190327246511629,5.986262458471763,79.49680232558141,69.55813953488372,9.119601328903654,27.45016611295681,9.23628265651192,2.206853820598007,838,26,164,16,14,284,129,215,0.17600000000000002,0.757,0.067,-0.9733,0,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,1,2,7,8,2,2,13,0,17,5,3,0,4,37,27,15,2,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,6,14,0,1,7,0,0,5,6,7,0,0,3,3,23,1,38,22,2,38,0,2,0,0,10,20,0,3,10,120,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292758365065798,0.0,0.0,0.1004650530784921,0.0,0.0,0.16689880960913597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215735434880332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631620042989874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192986967777767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523085815212365,0.12724417590427226,0.0,0.1533258910887172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618229978377072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009050428048432,0.0,0.0,0.13277493917097158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746993940032463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679227227200054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902384072631616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677514310880226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564303249664778,0.0,0.0,0.10434979380446324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559924776663414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410058602403413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917051318693322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954383448748686,0.1139425516935466,0.14268364922024002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235933386637603,0.15720074874273005,0.17333551390387592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242103809954578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946430001618042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616511766334745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449264583795115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505975081506709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444498622798533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153204100455471,0.19629750436610333,0.1893255978998772,0.0,0.11728530618305053,0.08614562692530056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726538480737783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755303974009517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HyperbolicBus1234,2018/01/03,"Struggling to figure out my life Im a male in his mid 20s.

So to get straight to the point, I have struggled a lot since puberty with, well, everything in life in general. Socially / emotionally kind of fucked, dont really want to explain the details here. 
Anyway, I have almost no (close) friends, have not ever had a relationship, that kind of good stuff.
The only good thing I guess rn is that I nearly have a bachelors degree. The downside is that it took me a really long time to get it, AND it is not the bachelor I started out in. I started out in a Engineering degree, almost but not quite Electrical Engineering (lets say 85% EE), and I got bogged down after about 1-1.5 years. The first year I did not do all that badly (though the important major subjects I failed, but I still got an average amount of credits). The second year I did worse but still not bad enough to convincingly say I should quit. The third year I failed extremely hard and basically gave up. After that I switched to a different major which you could say is Engineering ""lite"". I also switched because in the last semester I took 4 classes, of which 3 were extremely tough, got extremely stressed overwhelmed, and thus failed them all. 
I am happy that at least I almost got a degree now. But I can't really say Im passionate about what I do now. So I do not really want to do a masters degree in this field.
Could not really say that about the first major I did either. But I still find it hard to decide if that was because I am fucked as a person, or because I did not put in enough effort, or because I truly dislike the material/subject. Now I dont know what to do. Starting all over again is not an option. I can finish the first degree but I doubt I want to do the masters degree that fits with that degree. Very stressed about all this shit.

Background on my interests: been a computer nerd since very young age. Loved it. Love hardware and software. Knew very early on how to build a computer and all that stuff. At the same time learned about how to install an OS, repartition, all that stuff and really liked it. I just developed from there. Dabbled in overclocking and other stuff involving ""tweaking"". Love all of that too. Never really did any programming though. Only started doing that in college. I kind of like it but dont love it. 
I am passionate about certain music. Puberty / adolescence were awful for me. Had terrible self esteeem issues (still to a certain degree) and it fucked my life up. Shitty consequences like Social Anxiety and probably some depression too. When I most needed I did not get the help I needed. Also, those who could have helped me did not or did not understand it.
So, I got into music like Nine Inch Nails, and it has become an integral part of myself. Trent Reznor is the first person to truly make me feel less alone and genuinely seems to be someone I have important things in common with. I love that feeling. Later I found the works of MJK. I like a lot of that too. Celldweller is another good one. I like to really dig deep into the music and especially also the artists behind the music, and what makes them tick. On the other hand, I find it hard to relate on a deep level with most other human beings in my life. These people make me feel somewhat more sane, without them I would feel even more alone.
There is probably more I could write about this but I think it gets the point across.

I also like a bit of photography (tend to go through phases with that) and I like some films / series a lot. 

I like cars a lot too. I am lucky enough to own a decent one. 

Finally I like doing some sports and just general exercise. I quite like running too especially when you get runners high (sometimes I get all these big vision of ambition success which then fade quickly after).


Can anyone relate? Or maybe a more important question, did anyone make it through all this text? ",3.9007798937686218,5.845370567603752,4.858000820486247,81.69263408472602,72.90896921017405,8.08575376775921,26.10461199637259,8.795588458614638,2.051899961134863,3062,105,569,61,62,997,314,747,0.139,0.71,0.151,0.8277,2,2,0,0,0,0,104.0,0,2,3,15,43,53,4,6,47,1,57,17,2,7,13,125,106,44,0,12,29,0,8,11,1,2,5,5,0,5,54,27,0,0,17,5,1,7,19,19,1,9,25,13,69,34,82,72,37,89,0,5,0,10,33,41,4,24,52,430,123,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745278786605887,0.10167325598418586,0.0,0.15701108515421222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03337907036466685,0.05146926572909656,0.03754942623786103,0.0,0.0,0.0686418976045149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196683567210397,0.11968556136927105,0.054209855620948405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358744432797138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675957486936948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227631570238053,0.0,0.0,0.051282743526308135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257962884043607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521333546214156,0.0,0.152151896930965,0.0,0.032419778601137705,0.04439964353534148,0.0,0.0,0.04411388738121333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927417553581626,0.0,0.0,0.05376955322334839,0.08972449178969633,0.16700463818949204,0.0,0.05381850333711077,0.03792248021488264,0.13613319097183882,0.15386741651875108,0.0,0.027895791649651062,0.12350897997714275,0.19628636483441875,0.0,0.05407199263046033,0.0,0.0,0.05225124898941763,0.13190992471089982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580046784628404,0.051860356045613384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060391345665897,0.05123135368823588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334152576502394,0.02697549868389953,0.04001033144066538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019211733534905,0.1386790332839959,0.2637817053826068,0.0,0.0,0.043438143143005016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691918236190045,0.221502904988052,0.0,0.13105685369642506,0.0,0.049311870084148265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279091081585329,0.03785690978072856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652170992033273,0.07466178529408987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053153614298783125,0.0,0.03402893775287173,0.0857171972579234,0.0,0.0,0.09280123358432392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584255486303072,0.0,0.0,0.04934337209008792,0.054985753567226486,0.1566218813797953,0.0,0.0,0.25155775188459817,0.0,0.0,0.05269826868037292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19516939678683728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468458783819885,0.051205726729277166,0.0,0.05038442397600392,0.08120623410363749,0.0,0.0,0.10007071448770058,0.04158904684061817,0.0,0.04854571968766707,0.0,0.1389687437936675,0.0,0.15679543837973295,0.0,0.11245201251385152,0.10262732969933748,0.22475954624478608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521897923574962,0.03145129704552719,0.09645033366780244,0.0,0.05724300848179285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906913317779286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109858408918848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149929409022756,0.08685374004009665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044132764038337734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047315603199214434,0.0,0.035734022641819616,0.0,0.05002118978774829,0.03486814443400595,0.0,0.0,0.1264349589950841
mentalhealth,someofthisistrue,2018/01/03,"Considering getting a new job despite my schizophrenia I've been considering for awhile moving from my just-a-job position at a national cemetery back to a career-tracking position. I'm concerned my disease, the one the military retired me for will hold me back. I need some help getting this into perspective a little bit. I blog pretty extensively about this at:
http://www.someofthisistrue.com/working-despite-schizophrenia/",12.43954545454546,14.388853409090904,10.154090909090916,51.65113636363637,52.787878787878796,12.054545454545455,43.77272727272727,11.698219412168324,5.929254545454546,359,18,43,9,4,108,47,66,0.0,0.904,0.096,0.6845,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,7,0,8,4,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088588668919753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902495586475896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778010800532548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819992155531714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5276487740536455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664609174289789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28256642011428296,0.0,0.19713134301153265,0.0,0.25676862169532066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801531794153998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270474542158188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,very_sad_pidgeon,2018/01/03,"I need a friend. I need anyone. I’m alone. I have suffered with loneliness for a long time. 6 months ago,I fell in love with a man who I thought loved me too. He moved in, but left in the middle of the night with all of his things. Yesterday night in my sleep, he sent me a text message breaking up with me. 

I’ve never been good at this sort of thing. I’ve been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for my suicidal tendencies, but it’s always because I feel alone. 

I had one good friend but she stopped talking to me when I went away to a hospital. She said that she felt like I abandoned her. So now I’m truly and utterly alone. I have no friends. I now have no boyfriend. He won’t even answer my texts. I have no one. I know when I get like this, my life goes downhill. I turn to drugs and alcohol and always end up in the back of an ambulance. 

I don’t have money for a therapist. I barely make anything at a job I hate. I just didn’t show up for work today because the idea of getting out of bed isn’t one I can entertain. I just need some kind words or advice. Anything. ",0.2347368421052636,2.308119807017544,2.1475017543859667,95.90977894736844,85.57894736842105,5.753263157894738,20.96210526315789,7.087006719466742,0.4218376842105265,828,27,194,12,25,274,128,228,0.18,0.6809999999999999,0.139,-0.8426,1,3,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,10,14,1,0,12,0,13,6,1,1,2,33,32,11,1,3,6,0,2,2,3,1,3,1,1,1,7,10,1,2,6,2,1,4,8,3,0,3,9,3,33,11,32,22,2,36,0,2,0,2,19,16,0,3,17,124,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421916252532932,0.10361194755260926,0.12491505749764625,0.0,0.3631743965001433,0.0,0.0,0.1945162070208782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172906269150973,0.0,0.19237362234813132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098177794112513,0.08987773829276215,0.0,0.14250463768901242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555007689612306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352586381212417,0.0,0.0,0.0772017735582814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591008232520148,0.0,0.11222841471936126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27091635322411184,0.0,0.1221357039913234,0.0,0.0,0.1960760316908327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540023712613624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194950758602475,0.0,0.0,0.11599082780176125,0.0,0.0,0.12171826644098173,0.06423721662747711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699644298621182,0.0,0.08255968876740498,0.11420870707752374,0.0,0.0,0.10343999359085082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109874632245515,0.0,0.07802198209627158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329689479229132,0.12423079362524478,0.0,0.2600073623132032,0.09014930707779513,0.0,0.0,0.2193782564593099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376139292542385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118488159239168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696991813085235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772151581358934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785377098486472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939481412277998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571308004221533,0.15530707129764007,0.0,0.0,0.09279403458723737,0.06815687782721422,0.0,0.1107937915033166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713786472342412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083540339912666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509403960653346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GoinCrazy123,2018/01/03,"People are destroying my self confidence... Ok, once again as an intro I am smart. Ok, so here goes the tale, I have lately been in a burden of depression, I mean just some time ago people used to come to me for all sorts of doubts where intelligence was required, I used to clear them and even if someone said something stupid I wouldn't make a fuss about it. But lately I don't know how I have suddenly been the one who blurts stupid thing, and have been critisiced to a point where I can't think,I fear the future. But you know, the best part ,the stupidity is not because of any other reason,but because people themselves have pushed me to it. It was like one time I said a stupid thing, I was so much criticized that, I in order to nullify it,would hit in the dark, and ended up saying more stupid things. Help me,help me to get rid of this guilt of dumbness,this phase of low confidence.It's affecting me academically very much.",5.585997067448679,5.621081500000006,5.722825024437933,84.14969208211147,67.33333333333334,9.129227761485827,27.12414467253177,8.841846274778883,1.6964473118279573,733,19,155,11,11,232,112,186,0.18,0.696,0.125,-0.9014,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,2,11,17,6,3,11,2,16,0,0,5,2,24,27,10,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,10,4,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,12,0,2,8,3,18,5,20,17,7,20,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,4,10,100,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903993204705005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899329009943666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747749364949147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276781165768272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539654988941332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253801121163398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893272201688522,0.0,0.0,0.0961482903196476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638078763578234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605485330519733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514638158050648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000405868816306,0.0,0.328420917822956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111865064104753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716979079818,0.0,0.0,0.15856952384566128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140229086997061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502839266810445,0.19728539039915224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763923628271248,0.0,0.3027618627430273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761167308486627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496712604193993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769427639231789,0.11576392334223284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186232886310666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334185865195428,0.11206768842402257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29013276557461753,0.09327603610336507,0.0,0.0,0.16976727281179907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25145325654555073,0.0,0.12011134258033347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340948083558348,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RektMyAnus,2018/01/03,"I realized that I take having fun very seriously, and it's not doing me any good. I ""work"" for the feeling of reward and feel pressured to do it quickly/efficiently. As the title says. I noticed that I no longer quite understand how to relax and have fun. It seems I took the ""relax"" out, and it has been out for a very long time.

I think I'd really benefit from seeing or understanding how others, who are at least remotely mentally healthy, have fun, relax, and enjoy themselves ""properly"" and not efficiently.

Lately, I've been playing Terraria, and every time I notice I'm thinking of something as pointless, which usually makes me want to avoid the activity or ""get over with it quickly"" in the unhealthy way, I try to embrace the activity as a sort of play. For example, I get no benefits from killing a Goblin Army, yet I still relax and let myself go through (not just do it). Another example would be giving away gold in OSRS via games, drop parties. Maybe even making follow trains. Just running around and looking at things in any game anyhow should work. I guess the most important part for me is to look for pointlessness, so I could cut myself away from the insane, efficiency-greedy side of self.",7.123502382573179,7.291511765486728,7.5324778761061975,72.02235874744726,64.08849557522123,10.670660313138187,34.64125255275698,10.389873798559362,3.6515749489448615,953,39,167,21,13,313,142,226,0.109,0.6809999999999999,0.209,0.9734,0,1,1,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,4,10,19,2,2,11,0,16,0,0,4,0,41,38,17,1,4,7,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,12,13,0,1,8,8,0,4,5,5,0,0,3,6,18,14,33,30,3,26,0,0,3,0,6,12,0,7,8,118,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183098108726594,0.141165183894991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198440562973299,0.0,0.0,0.2529676849092114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748644798144656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891799685180451,0.0,0.1134266723721845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614005413734415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067114837452424,0.12914377420114664,0.07651002015156334,0.1129163694370178,0.0,0.0,0.14830370465014042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894170162286832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186193139765536,0.0,0.0,0.13766233835580086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913815707249803,0.22610079936251865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972536222035115,0.0,0.1352480768867748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356695028313669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065410273699809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578486074902958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318937961494507,0.0,0.0,0.08624369272118025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705854609662004,0.0,0.0,0.1072780363395676,0.12255679132187887,0.1404423732846975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364026581593792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751103876860793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122062420250533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894383188378526,0.1725234688420244,0.0,0.0,0.15700087624266676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957241009955102,0.09140097676746643,0.0,0.0,0.2802970245462862,0.0,0.0,0.14826950742667352,0.2221580840578227,0.07940482545616709,0.10685840259573676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960160031849276,0.0,0.0,0.09563315021844117,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nonetron,2018/01/03,"I feel like I've forgotten how to be myself, and live in a constant anxious state. I just want to know how to cope because I feel so helpless Not sure how to put this down but here goes. I've always been socially awkward and had difficulty making friends. Until I met a girl whose company I enjoyed more than being alone and could talk to for hours, I felt normal and happy. A year later I moved home with her still at uni and something changed. Looking back I think partly it was due to me developing anxiety and mild depression over living with my parents again and failing at getting a job. But her growing doubts and the poor communication made me panic, and over analyse everything. I tried to force conversations and fill awkward silences on skype instead of being myself which just made things worse. Then when the one person I could actually hold a conversation with for more than 2 minutes told me we weren't right for eachother and that she'd felt that way for a while, something in me just broke. It was like I forgot how conversations and friendships work, it doesn't come naturally anymore. I can't tell if I smothered all my friends and pushed them away or if its all in my head. Sometimes I worry I've changed and I've lost myself and the uncertainty is just killing me.


A month and a half later now and all the feelings of panic and uncertainty have only gotten worse. Everyday I wake up anguished. I cry and have bouts of depression and these attacks where I just cry and hyperventilate and work myself up into a state just despairing worrying if I'm normal anymore. I barely talk to my long distance friends anymore because I just don't know how and honestly it's just easier. I can't tell if the same thing that happened with my ex is now happening with my close friends. My confidence is at zero and I just can't face applying for jobs but sitting at home most days being confined to my room feeling like a child again is driving me crazy. I applied for counselling almost two months ago but there's still a queue on the waiting list and I'm getting worse daily. I try my best to stay active and stop the thoughts from creeping in but it's a losing battle and I live in a constant state of unease. I feel like I'm losing myself while the days float by as I lose friends and all the graduate job opportunities.


This turned into more of a vent but really I want to get my head straight and know I'm not going crazy. I want to learn what to do and how to cope because I really don't know and I feel so helpless. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense but thanks for reading and hope you have a good day.
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mentalhealth,phwheezy,2018/01/03,"Stuck. Hi, this is one of the first times I am posting ever on Reddit in general so if I break any established rules when it comes to creating a post, I apologize.
I am 22 years old, still living at home.  We have never had a lot of money so any thought of leaving seemed improbable.  The health of one of my parents is terrible, but not enough to where he needs daily medical care (can still drive and get themselves to the bathroom).  That parent is in so much pain, that I would have to drive the other parent around to and from work or to finish errands since that parent does not have a license.
I aid one of my siblings in watching their child so they may have the opportunity to spend time with them.  I am working 30+hours per week and attending school online.  I don't feel like my own person.  I am, and always have been, the person the entire family seeks for help whether it be driving, watching children, paying a bill, etc.  
I have a hard time walking away because I would hate to see my parents suffer, my sibling potentially not seeing their child, and just for the family to suffer as a whole.  But I hate myself for being available to help others who have never shown genuine appreciation or made an effort to know me.
I have tried to open up about my problems, but it has been met with a few seconds of interaction, anger towards me, and one parent falling asleep twice on separate occasions.  I am not sure if I am just sensitive or genuinely upset at what feels to be a lifetime of exploited help.  I just do not know what to do. Somebody please help.",6.126405445180283,6.36398354635762,6.543399558498898,78.03270787343638,66.18543046357614,9.22766740250184,31.678440029433407,8.998388855275968,2.5790192788815305,1229,45,231,19,18,399,174,302,0.16699999999999998,0.75,0.083,-0.9838,6,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,4,5,14,13,3,1,17,0,31,4,1,1,4,47,48,21,0,6,17,6,3,1,0,3,3,0,1,5,12,12,0,0,6,0,4,7,8,9,0,7,7,7,30,4,41,35,7,37,0,2,4,0,26,13,0,8,15,179,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511389629165961,0.0,0.0,0.12277670078213634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036160473129803,0.0,0.0,0.0848139229117469,0.0,0.0,0.055029237616709734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203876235166618,0.0,0.0,0.07776170824012417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789980149391998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327555520490596,0.10067762585399308,0.0,0.08165658434487895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020163262967206,0.0,0.0912889095771245,0.06449064456899724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678568586621291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047163620675208885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086636915232896,0.17825067795189195,0.0,0.0959553755396925,0.0,0.0,0.2420308374028149,0.0,0.0905506112200284,0.0,0.08890016305471282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922273730750446,0.0,0.0,0.09558547282434712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410255119823959,0.0,0.07971221269674071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674639483571206,0.0,0.08541795932589732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909399796650079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636062554227559,0.06693586564320117,0.13924733175328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472573355818527,0.0,0.2446837489833213,0.0,0.0960562339823513,0.0,0.6014211266436235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764481402033886,0.0,0.0990920237403973,0.0,0.0,0.17291207548057289,0.0,0.0,0.08637852735371114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136052217290368,0.14387088386397068,0.08218063311300351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467428988630798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441833640934034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850807002952457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166622871401447,0.15791574587285218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128905674569812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241110104859172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078594824973257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143881353511028,0.0,0.0,0.1282538935096849,0.0,0.0,0.05813248751144502
mentalhealth,Throwaway50000444,2018/01/03,"I think my work enviornment is toxic but I can't remember why. On the surface it all feels fine. Except when people walk out and leave. Feels like a blur though. No one reacts, to it. It's a common thing here but I can't remember why. Had a mental breakdown but I don't know what pissed me off. I don't know how I concluded I was being used, I forgot after walking around in a daze through the store and them letting me do things in the back to calm down.  I felt drained but everyone was smiling, I felt detached and disconnected. Went home and my mind is coming up blank.  I don't know what caused me to break. Happens everytime after being high on happiness only to become more aggressive and in a few months I fall into depression again and cycle repeats itself. I can't remember much but something just feels wrong and Im frustrated cause I can't remember anything.:( I always forget what sets me off. It's just a blur. It always feels like I'm in another body. What the hell is wrong with me?
",0.9264538461538478,3.460664030000004,2.75,89.0473076923077,88.7,5.876923076923077,20.69230769230769,7.321109707123232,0.9011538461538456,786,26,156,14,26,260,113,200,0.188,0.695,0.117,-0.9336,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,9,13,4,0,10,0,17,2,2,6,1,46,33,15,0,0,8,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,12,12,0,1,15,0,1,5,8,8,0,1,7,6,23,5,22,23,4,30,1,1,0,0,1,15,2,2,10,110,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211444537394629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105129345419627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499915798281383,0.1027681020723982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876798549606398,0.0,0.0,0.1274969255520448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823034559574267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371820378625916,0.0,0.09944330002450474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943026436761526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031004322827774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334843364282909,0.16494397208572048,0.2216853801461708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208522465312482,0.12289045093547117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197110429666976,0.11579801682274865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246974695890476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903321697522491,0.0,0.0,0.12223670322035247,0.0,0.11804755009772774,0.0,0.11279853104846395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633866330837858,0.0,0.11656379128258094,0.0,0.09214492443916844,0.0,0.08486335684957669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822667483760955,0.08779905399291298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800331396126517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5230943846803385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887310514388932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533894389673944,0.07397075000471423,0.11342145141557705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970506227982373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701614771887673,0.2083373989164367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404335285996564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524360158148141,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youngjaelric,2018/01/03,"Go easy on yourself this year. A new year usually means a fresh start, which is always a good thing. But remember, you don’t need to have a sudden drastic change for the better! Small steps are all you need. Improvement takes time.

Don’t have the “near year new me” mentality, as if you should completely change yourself for who you are. Add some things into your routine that may benefit you, but large change is hard for anyone. Don’t beat yourself up about it if you don’t “fix yourself” this year. It may take decades to get to the state you want, but remember: it’s always worth it at the end.

You don’t have to make 2018 the best year of your life—instead, try your hardest, seek professional help when needed, talk to a friend, etc. If you do things that make you happy and feel better, good things will come to you. I promise. 

Some suggestions I have for people of any mental condition or feeling to make this year just a little bit better: 
- Write in a journal! Its good to vent, especially daily. Letting things out is great
- Drink a lot of water and eat healthy. Eating lots of fruits and veggies is what we’re supposed to do. Remember: your mind is part of your body. Treating your body well is also treating your mind well.
- Read! Learn languages! Draw! Invest your time into innocent tasks that let you safely escape from the world around you.

I wish the best of luck for everyone. Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk.",3.041006993006995,5.348882690909093,3.3386363636363647,89.96487762237763,76.63636363636364,6.267132867132868,22.57692307692308,7.321109707123232,0.7951706293706291,1120,33,222,14,26,345,153,275,0.005,0.696,0.299,0.9984,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,22,0,6,7,20,0,0,15,0,25,7,2,3,1,48,43,14,0,11,9,0,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,19,9,5,1,8,2,3,3,5,0,2,0,0,5,27,21,34,37,10,31,0,0,0,0,29,12,0,12,15,145,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753938283113738,0.14054821150929986,0.0,0.0,0.057432933724201475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905355530806852,0.0,0.0,0.07518369021322723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772625921072789,0.22408324085567294,0.09220401002526347,0.18762301501712267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26802955074992474,0.07275131205163554,0.08855044379180947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273466619249606,0.0,0.17283901734192894,0.0,0.0,0.07480289291363597,0.0,0.09419069540633287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070126771086918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811037908897255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525044793171353,0.0,0.04412474163545475,0.0,0.04799825565826639,0.21251290056537095,0.0,0.09311296942238996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990491608755516,0.07565593130383688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660903475666348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272383663805602,0.05965372642587946,0.0,0.08464703690313953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360283604597945,0.0,0.0,0.16912498259126413,0.0,0.0,0.09199727521489737,0.0,0.0,0.17022344181925522,0.0,0.17055284270395465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786902290588506,0.0,0.16313614173459515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145755031138504,0.0,0.0585511131770301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447879263307206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28701634099250456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05977834736588314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700070889373266,0.13576496710912234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28054386109955004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849387284880202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734003783569098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930162834840828,0.0,0.049814300207934925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518720614078415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712016027782204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263211291261769
mentalhealth,McBreakdown,2018/01/03,Riding the 'existential crisis over inescapable mortality' train again and I can't get off It's like 3am and there's no point in sleeping because I'll definitely be dead soon so I may as well just kill myself now right? I am so sick of this I am so tired but my heart is beating so fast right now,-0.2861904761904768,1.9985502222222244,1.9368253968253981,93.64428571428572,94.3968253968254,4.704761904761905,18.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,-0.0930126984126982,236,7,53,3,9,79,50,63,0.274,0.648,0.078,-0.924,0,0,0,0,0,3,1.0,0,0,0,1,11,3,1,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,0,5,7,8,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,5,5,0,12,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,6,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854414562860405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159454410210874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665175890220332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421905152499417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110654255527795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923849643893505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282746778650315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30951965684594346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554905823164266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780945067939851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thespecialpan,2018/01/03,"I have crap coping skills I’ve been under high stress since freshman year of high school (I’m a freshman in college now) due to the emergence of mental health issues with family members as well as my own. Before I even knew that depression and other mental health issues ran in my family, I thought everything was fine. 

Of course it wasn’t fine because I self harmed back then, had suicidal thoughts, had body dysmorphia plus a whole lot of other problems back then. It just wasn’t until I had names for these issues that I started to fail at school. And it wasn’t until I started to fail at school to realize just how unhappy I really was.

That leads to where I am now. Feeling like there’s no way to help myself long term even though people keep telling me about these magical coping skills. I’m sure what they are are methods to calm yourself down when you have no other way to but I can’t get that calmness from myself. Deep breathing doesn’t work for me, I have no patience for meditation and so forth. 

I no longer contemplate suicide often or harm myself, which are pluses. But my lack of alternative coping skills do lead me back to that point every once in a while. The only positive thing I do now is talk to other people, whether they be friends or strangers. The issue there is sometimes there’s no way to talk to other people. I also medicate with marijuana. The issue there is the altered mind state leads me to still be unproductive and care too little.

I have yet to find coping skills that can come from myself and myself only, not from outside forces such as peers or medication. 

Any ideas reddit?",5.199938416422288,6.548253351612908,5.3596480938416455,81.73401759530792,68.70967741935485,7.958944281524928,26.994134897360702,8.296473431620573,1.7781290322580638,1289,40,237,18,22,406,169,310,0.13699999999999998,0.774,0.09,-0.9354,0,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,1,2,10,27,17,1,1,8,0,27,7,3,4,1,37,40,25,2,2,9,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,19,9,0,1,7,0,0,5,11,8,1,0,13,1,30,9,41,25,5,42,0,3,0,0,10,13,1,5,21,175,49,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339331225729494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241089364425659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117104626360657,0.0,0.05594585738731128,0.0,0.07809469960350489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194255522170964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935718482690262,0.0,0.0,0.07905698184840332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904661855907323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123449407912505,0.0,0.07732532067180385,0.0,0.08248243895066601,0.0,0.1730366742950439,0.0,0.04640475261367369,0.06556486261000515,0.0,0.0,0.08388169073005879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090598550410189,0.0,0.0479492231846451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951074006469404,0.0,0.0,0.061515583801935926,0.1939329723779358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360404339742926,0.0,0.4789520096509876,0.0,0.0815748125865341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483716559802183,0.09198376044713803,0.0,0.08121895853252406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802475640994992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490952640778094,0.18497744123880805,0.0,0.09266769635900338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773854891508624,0.0,0.1395997159409287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19087797158991096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675807708260691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781733096715276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058794118315518576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786469320136568,0.0,0.0,0.09574248563437128,0.0,0.0,0.07591813649276427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076890743841788,0.0,0.12991918879148046,0.0,0.0732925102595182,0.0,0.1051292099571726,0.0,0.0,0.20077631027163995,0.0,0.0864978860562123,0.0,0.0,0.1475323019985818,0.08021635467729292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060971961354831676,0.0,0.09016955012123748,0.14571994033597938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185427838369264,0.0,0.0,0.08251773379343061,0.0,0.0,0.1024647356864765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681409225047841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059100797989202
mentalhealth,hiddenvoices,2018/01/03,"Body Dysmorphia and Jealousy in Relationships. :( Hey guys, so for some background, I'm in a great relationship with an incredible guy for about one year. He's given me no reason not to trust him, he's kind and loving and accepts my insecurities and does everything he can to reassure me, and yet I am feeling myself get more and more insecure about my looks as the relationship goes on. I think I'm becoming more paranoid because I'm becoming more afraid to lose him (edit: because I am falling more in love with him), but it's starting to really negatively impact us. I'll obsessively scroll through girls who like his pictures, or who he's following. I've even invaded his privacy to check if he spoke to his friends about other girls, and even when he agreed in one conversation that another girl was hot it enraged me. Now, I came clean about the invasion and I know it's so wrong and I shouldn't be mad, but I really can't help it. It's gotten to the point that I don't even want him watching porn because I get jealous that he might think the girls are hotter than me/think about sleeping with them. I ask him obsessively if I'm hotter than anyone he's been with, or this girl or that instagram model. It's insane. I know I have a good personality and that's what he values, and I also know rationally that I'm a pretty girl, but I keep obsessing and it's getting worse. I tried deleting social media but I end up finding other ways to compare, or making fake accounts to check his followers. I really don't know what to do. I go to a psych but nothing's really helped.

Has anyone had any similar experiences? And if so any coping mechanisms? This is really annoying for my boyfriend, I'm sure, and it's really killing me to consistently feel inadequate.

Thanks a lot :)",4.654224137931035,5.947895606321841,6.1485701149425305,75.77344137931038,69.94827586206897,9.820873563218392,30.011954022988505,10.078955797065145,3.07860216091954,1413,56,268,37,25,481,178,348,0.174,0.684,0.142,-0.8818,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,1,1,15,26,5,6,10,0,17,5,2,2,1,51,50,32,1,5,13,0,3,1,1,2,0,1,1,9,22,19,0,1,11,0,3,5,7,14,0,2,7,6,37,12,34,40,7,19,0,1,2,3,45,7,0,10,7,168,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807255265864882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372918621387102,0.10584943285807856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116591384813096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436976904858813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460505428984966,0.22297121948455784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212692544785244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545396849024485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833748184445772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940713799152526,0.0,0.0,0.20001928119842632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072268458313874,0.09874339213540133,0.0,0.0,0.1020814560793224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226172585603533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779897083522565,0.0,0.15821848770459845,0.0,0.0573692607309422,0.08466771576051274,0.0,0.11129200732329853,0.0,0.1999024611259688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532235412070365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972438359446733,0.11168047397172114,0.1051184838556606,0.22190650644082774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931653433022605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476821522466779,0.1129314196089456,0.0,0.08581966604661083,0.18221326096088225,0.0,0.06738144327211809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708648924391902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685926589160444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368056289141165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881411128312059,0.0,0.0,0.09542547192272896,0.0,0.0,0.10269716017580756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880069735430245,0.10378807508562693,0.0,0.3251308391563115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101770925728584,0.1029005196030775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144925475031412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513928702423098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929364169579808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940440712196527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853489852503235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142417516689008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953986322138913,0.08012529009484975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287138343468273,0.0,0.11036730110224507,0.0,0.06500514682638249
mentalhealth,AncientPaladin,2018/01/03,"Memories that aren't mine? I'm not even entirely sure this belongs here. I don't know if any of you will care, or have any idea of what's going on with me. But I have to try. I have to tell someone.

First and foremost: I'm not making this up. You might not believe me, and that's okay. Just know that I am not lying.

For the past week or so, I've been experiencing memories. At least, that's the only thing that I know to call them. I'm not hearing voices, except in the context of when you remember voices in a memory. I'm not having hallucinations or seeing visions. 

I don't know how else to describe it.

About a week ago, something triggered these ""memories"". I heard or read - I can't remember which - something about a willow tree. This triggered a ""memory"" of a girl sitting beneath a willow tree, waiting. I also ""heard"" or ""remembered"" her saying something like, 'Come back to me. Meet me beneath the willow tree.'

This girl doesn't look anything like a celebrity, or anyone that I know. In fact, I don't know her. I've never seen her before. Except that a name immediately came to me - Kenzie.

This is strange to me because I don't know anyone with that name at all. It's not a common name, at least where I'm from. I've never seen it on a billboard or a vehicle or anything.

Over the course of the week I've been having more and more ""memories"". They are always in first-person. I never see myself, or hear myself speak.

This afternoon, I had a montage of memories of sorts. Kenzie and I were driving, her blonde hair blowing in the wind. We had a picnic. Walked through the city (which I didn't recognize) in the middle of winter. 

I am going to be 30 years old in February. Kenzie, in these memories, appears to be in her early or mid 20's. 

I don't understand. Am I losing my mind?",1.2796346153846159,3.5823349250000014,3.3500000000000014,87.48576923076925,83.08333333333334,5.914529914529915,22.008547008547005,7.2200825789825185,0.8754957264957262,1383,46,278,20,39,468,165,360,0.013,0.933,0.055,0.907,0,0,3,0,0,0,69.0,1,3,2,2,11,6,0,0,22,1,28,1,1,4,6,61,58,20,0,1,22,0,1,2,0,2,0,8,0,2,23,9,0,1,12,1,0,7,19,1,0,1,11,16,40,5,44,43,5,46,0,1,6,0,25,21,0,14,19,198,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448273526558272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523739671341246,0.08868872618906823,0.0,0.0,0.14496530915908715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905588739880152,0.0,0.1754236500879474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195864235707556,0.0,0.0649743020709665,0.0,0.0906974857325245,0.12008678341962027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088370032241996,0.12190686305151957,0.10867230959890987,0.0,0.0,0.09181505940423908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903956446081021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039955242069837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132529412628876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115142862126592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026205918084445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032348284298244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100410863149802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414581803272377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950603725144762,0.1192433251494916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114749267264807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307171290547273,0.10762224723391364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466188499356861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184487906179026,0.0,0.0,0.08106403705437015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174912684303364,0.0,0.09306745113772544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661560795630398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622260775106078,0.0,0.0,0.08476207286331597,0.0,0.0,0.1698717022486254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903106193044832,0.24616709500432804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045676372797972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316152979391673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081150991220016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236541626065324,0.0,0.0,0.11096058037497046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25649241875343576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863838147302241
mentalhealth,walrus-royale,2018/01/03,"I'm feeling very alone and lost right now. Today, I told the girl I am deeply infatuated with that I couldn't be as close to her because it hurt me so much to see her take interest in other guys and that I couldn't get over her if I was as close to her as I was. 

She broke up with her boyfriend in November. She said that she thought my priority should have been to be there for her, but its been two months since she broke up with her boyfriend and I've felt this way about her for over six months. 

I told her back in August how I felt and she said she understood but that she was happy with her boyfriend and I told her I understood and that I didn't want things to change. I told her that I still wasn't over her last Wednesday and she gave very terse responses. We hadn't spoken again until tonight. 

Tonight I told her that I didn't think I could carry on our relationship the way that it was. She was clearly hurt by it and from the tone of her response I don't think she wants to speak to me again. I think she feels betrayed. 

I feel awful now, and very, very alone. I've got friends who are there if I need them but I still feel very isolated.

I can't even bring myself to cry over this so I can't express my sadness. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I am literally physically struggling to do it.

Now I don't know what to do. 

Is she right? Should I have disregarded my feelings and tried to carry on? Have I betrayed her and abandoned her?

Any help is appreciated. I could really use it right now. ",1.7260044642857153,3.3841322343750018,2.8427678571428565,95.03687500000002,78.21875,6.321428571428572,21.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,0.277294642857143,1185,32,284,14,28,379,136,320,0.16699999999999998,0.748,0.085,-0.9804,0,2,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,1,1,16,11,0,1,3,1,34,0,0,2,1,53,68,23,0,12,6,0,7,0,1,2,0,3,0,2,24,18,0,2,14,0,0,1,12,8,0,2,26,11,67,3,37,34,1,37,0,7,1,0,48,16,0,2,18,200,91,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104108295121564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600127426883236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462992165903848,0.0,0.0591643167084296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267217050150007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498232248808885,0.0,0.10661124227641056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410444256870389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24537165114877715,0.0,0.18637758264770446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498507268993015,0.0,0.05070765127040368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762439192663756,0.0,0.0,0.0961005041249972,0.0,0.10331770710697033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650544589452862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20780048907178905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333933113545385,0.07911343336264899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059478741006726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493803207865028,0.0,0.07134718263588126,0.07196564818235314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062176432698682026,0.0,0.0,0.10420161037042187,0.0,0.24865537653831546,0.18464458853829166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734090918483817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028556324154956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501777939803096,0.0,0.0,0.10146379843660848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297388516041653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447956292738047,0.18656831898557355,0.0,0.07705146639442438,0.0,0.0,0.0919975528675072,0.4637048953136685,0.0,0.06589451937023234,0.0,0.09480941683378263,0.0,0.0,0.08382505185141029,0.0,0.4004060101689349,0.17173808182891556,0.15407675779288155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dijiman,2018/01/03,"It’s okay to seek help as a male. I’ve been trying to find the words to write for about a week now. I want to write something inspirational, something helpful. Something that will show other males that while what happened is not okay, it’s okay to admit it and seek counseling. 

I’ve been struggling to find the words. 

I was groomed and molested regularly at a young age by a pedophile. I’m 28 years old now, and it’s been messing with my head for years. I didn’t recognize it until about two years ago, but it affected me more than I realized. 

Today I went and met with a therapist for the first time about it, and all of the issues in my life that I believe might be directly related to what happened. 

In the end, all I can say is: If you were affected in a similar way and you haven’t attempted to seek therapy, don’t be embarrassed to do so. It’s not fun, and meeting a perfect stranger to talk about my regular childhood rape/molestation is hands down one of the most stressful and anxiety inducing things I’ve ever done. 

But after a week of trying to find the words, I came home and was able to write this. 

It’s okay to seek help.",4.564710144927538,5.149880543478262,5.42217391304348,83.49862318840582,69.65217391304348,9.437681159420292,30.55072463768116,9.558583805096642,2.5880376811594203,895,35,188,19,15,293,122,230,0.097,0.7979999999999999,0.104,-0.3471,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,3,8,12,1,3,15,4,19,3,2,3,4,39,27,16,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,1,2,17,12,0,0,7,1,0,2,5,5,0,3,11,2,14,7,35,12,4,28,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,3,20,126,31,0,0.1365392399603328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210337979185134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445214484532032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383296679799993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561645160460576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397270478909958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093323961132925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350755956313267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743831751205466,0.11614020775915605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414823979383152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401286517709837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745581232652711,0.0,0.13695999040936016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251149251036538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644170312903083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448465564807412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327496396599798,0.0,0.09252252266042588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858148390026523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315343732875551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640523805662393,0.14274045945387895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974506906562942,0.0,0.0,0.15614452040739607,0.15853258135494694,0.09071060397359236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961712884035167,0.0,0.12942323436811634,0.0,0.0,0.18540236252392933,0.0,0.13337899751371474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053438133832813,0.10837849330202484,0.2190470847523721,0.0,0.0,0.12657324337133774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637803817588829
mentalhealth,ShadowAtraxia,2018/01/03,"I want to get schizophrenia or psychosis I know it's really messed up but I just hate reality so much and would prefer to not live in it even if it sucked. At least it would be better than the dull reality of our rotting world and the treadmill of work and death that I'll be on once I'm out of school. It's defiantly not for attention cause I'd really hate to go back to a mental hospital and the meds make you fat. Preferably no one would find out. And besides I already got to much attention for my ed and being trans.

I think that i might be predisposed cause I have delusions on and off especially about magic. Also I can spend alot of time just pacing and or fidgeting while daydreaming. Also I have a family history of mental illness cause my moms blood related aunt is schizophrenic. And my gramma and aunt are bipolar. I also get these weird imagerys and compulsions in my head most are based on fantasy.


 Like in impatient for my ed and self harm I tried to summon a demon to get out but I couldn't make it work:(. when when I'm in them I'm convinced even if I prove it wrong like having a spell do nothing. I end up rationalizing it as having to get more skilled and having to absorb more energy from the darkness, night and other people's life forces. I also get some more paranoid or bizarre ones but there less frequent and shorter. When I'm out of the delusion I can tell there false but with the magic one I still feel compelled to eat people's life forces and stuff even when I know it's not real. 

Anyways I'm starting to think that I might be able to trigger psychosis in my self by sleep depriving myself. I'm started trying it last night by getting 4 hours of sleep after a week of trouble sleeping.",4.1461739130434765,5.370077646376814,5.114898550724639,82.97060869565219,71.08695652173913,8.07072463768116,27.423188405797106,8.488131031819089,1.8740701449275363,1368,47,270,22,25,448,180,345,0.16899999999999998,0.777,0.054000000000000006,-0.9927,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,1,4,20,14,3,0,12,0,22,12,6,7,1,64,49,36,1,9,14,3,1,2,0,5,6,0,0,2,16,21,2,0,11,1,1,1,5,10,0,3,1,1,29,4,47,37,10,36,1,2,0,0,9,17,1,10,20,187,45,3,0.09331672948826564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297733145777767,0.2985014194294411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175480487852386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253106392878537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875859593818689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954863108135518,0.0,0.0,0.082650924453868,0.0,0.0,0.18490445920788934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797070758529256,0.0,0.04718374228326523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528980017717896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925248379098668,0.0,0.05303404785305632,0.0,0.07463391321723789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842619018949684,0.09576988633206968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189818132223447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256886816688572,0.07606558935090964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182473148223106,0.09117968083578434,0.0,0.0824003817798764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457928309939445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036538497106728,0.0,0.1880826299903164,0.1979886065331394,0.0,0.10929142574693504,0.0,0.0,0.13719706666876927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514285835223567,0.0,0.08953991871010275,0.0,0.0,0.09937927137641632,0.1897014928715701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938814111031322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621486778967114,0.11956217284321025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444151218454304,0.0,0.0,0.19469940095749025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801523651428639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210012286073042,0.0,0.07452286071146251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682532943213954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156293467409029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958718458338086,0.0,0.0,0.05441373539786753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126711867703066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055040624805271374,0.0,0.07485305161713486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587138092868314,0.0,0.0,0.19886858172209088,0.10202719458980576,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princessbuttercup27,2018/01/03,"ISO: coping mechanisms for extreme jealousy/self destructive behaviours in relationships Hey guys, 

Ever since I can remember I've been a really jealous person (likely stemming from insecurity and a propensity for standards of perfection that I set for myself but cannot meet). It has affected my relationships since I was young and I'm really ready to rid myself of these behaviours (I'll lash out when I'm jealous - if I'm feeling upset or threatened about something I'll state it to the person that I feel is wronging me (typically my partner) and that'll result in a fight and them feeling awful). I want to be secure in myself and not let fear of abandonment or being disliked stop me from enjoying myself in the moment. 

I hate the idea of my partner liking or connecting with someone more than me and I have this intense desire to just be the best and be the most loved etc etc and I'm so exhausted by it and feel absolutely crazy. 

I should also mention that I struggle with pretty intense anxiety (which has gotten better over the years since I've actually put a name to it and am able to separate it from who I am as a human), and have periods of mild depression. 

Any advice/tactics? I've been to multiple therapists and all they use is talk therapy and I'm much more of a creator/doer/pragmatic person so need tangible tactics to use to feel like I'm making strides. 

Thanks so much in advance for the help. I'm honestly at my wit's end here and am worried I'll never be able to have a normal relationship because of my broken brains. ",6.9017528622187125,6.93836304026846,7.956537702329253,69.23996249506517,64.57046979865773,11.172838531385713,35.98578760363206,10.843485225782073,4.125347177260166,1238,55,213,31,17,422,164,298,0.183,0.628,0.189,0.2866,0,0,1,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,2,4,9,24,5,4,14,1,23,3,1,5,4,50,44,25,0,6,7,0,5,3,2,2,1,0,0,7,13,17,0,3,7,0,0,2,3,13,0,0,4,5,24,11,38,32,9,21,0,2,0,1,21,8,0,5,12,149,37,0,0.2226269608954536,0.0,0.10862589975438468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901735009759433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756969838063455,0.0,0.08515450786411681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785566450656233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681663023389355,0.09844772766197474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242626577579117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958741376003864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985907040852635,0.0,0.2482879101778196,0.0,0.10068941588199327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525861249337913,0.2814172015511578,0.0795223726733411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021784632371534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098990166410928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461107955664653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125659370302076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382557547683915,0.0,0.16314643165704276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046476207250962,0.0,0.074302612562199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636564320445877,0.0825375353040001,0.08585181837968464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906357674904946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29158391269758377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132458275339233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190079283956553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262053183876294,0.0,0.0,0.3585270602811572,0.1260964740811014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612423667500585,0.0,0.0,0.2762389839243821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943155507574616,0.08569455553327532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930630539420109,0.0,0.11636901851171084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946955910418407,0.0,0.10248249735851588,0.12729666595799027,0.1292435302855668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227821471194556,0.0,0.0,0.06565557480090073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304424267959012,0.0,0.0,0.12170381658668047,0.0,0.07168223185252245
mentalhealth,gotenksheree,2018/01/04,"Help with Effexor poop-out!!! So bad :( It’s been like this for the past 3-4 months now. Every morning its the same cycle, I wake up feeling OK, but as soon as I take my Effexor (which, is actually Venlafaxine- so the generic version) I get the exact same following side effects:

Sleepiness and tiredness...

Dizziness, lightheadedness and blurry vision!    
                                                                                                                                                                                           
Inability to focus

No motivation

Memory problems (swirling thoughts)

Difficulty recalling memories

Speech problems, difficulty formulating sentences


When you add all these things up, it just looks (and sounds) like a COMPLETE loss of self, the ego, and the person becomes a vegetable!! o.o it’s just really really bad...

My GP says that some of these symptoms are the price to pay for taking an Anti-Depressant in the first place... Others, are just my ADHD worsening (which can be very debilitating in its own regard... imagine not finding enjoyment in anything. No motivation and extreme distractability. Now imagine also forgetting everything you think of...that’s what my life has now become.) thing is, that I wasn’t having any of these side effects before!! Yes the ADHD-like symptoms were there, but none of the “swirling thoughts” and “extreme drowsiness” etc. that’s totally new!!

 I will be taking my Medication at bedtime to combat a some of these side effects, esp the drowsiness.


Thing is also, that my brain is now very addicted to this substance, and without it I start feeling much much much worse. So I HAVE to keep taking this hell of a drug! Poop out or not, I have to keep taking it. 


—My only solution at the moment is to get the TEVA or CO versions of Venlafaxine from my farmacist instead of the current APO and see if that fixes anything. I should not have to take Modafinil so I don’t fall asleep, this stuff (Effexor) is used to TREAT ADHD not make it worse. That’s why it must be some sort of POOP OUT—-

I can only be “somewhat” functional and not a vegetable when I take some Modafinil with it. I took some now and I’ve regained a lot the my motivation. (Thank God or else I’d be asleep!!) And it helps me focus, and it fights all of the described side effects! Even my memory is better.

It is NOT an option at this point to be switching anti-depressants. My doctor says I’d have to taper down first, and knowing how atrocious my withdrawals can get, that can simply not be at option. (She already suggested switching to Pristiq but I said no. And we agreed NO to cymbalta because it makes ppl tired, and NO to Wellbutrin because it’s not stimulating enough/ causes anxiety, and I have GAD) which one would you suggest switching to though??

I NEED to fix this. If this a poop-out of my Venlafaxine how do I make it work again?? I’m telling you, these side effects were not as bad before. I’d been on this stuff for like a year now, with no noticeable side effects, and here I am today, literally and figuratively struggling to keep my eyes open. I’ve tried taking supplements and nootropics. No real results!! I eat OK and sleep OK.


—-Can anyone help? What should I do? My Dr suggested switching to Pristiq but I decided against so because they are essentially the same thing. Could my brain have just Burnt out and is intolerable to Venlafaxine anymore? Is there some chemicals missing? I don’t want to keep suffering, and wasting my life away :( I just want to feel well and not like I’m about to die/fall asleep! I’ve become so high maintenance because of this POISON I keep taking every morning. Can anyone help by any chance??",4.300440083258998,6.614902704160247,4.941435406698564,79.91460925039873,72.80585516178736,7.759316627470063,30.03003270889087,8.585537434231625,2.5535715459681563,2761,121,485,52,57,885,286,649,0.16899999999999998,0.7240000000000001,0.107,-0.9951,1,0,1,0,1,0,122.0,1,4,1,14,33,25,3,2,27,4,49,24,10,18,5,121,90,48,0,12,25,0,3,4,0,5,11,5,0,2,49,31,3,5,21,0,2,3,22,13,1,3,9,11,48,12,62,68,23,47,1,3,3,0,21,24,1,16,24,340,97,6,0.0,0.0,0.06297253100401183,0.07034785009060716,0.2326596271546753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121109241566093,0.10321015248832427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776600553705169,0.0,0.04936571203303669,0.0,0.06399698894340827,0.09024255468194073,0.0,0.10620632711549316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060628597938139926,0.0,0.16164100006813395,0.15734895440587002,0.21380684527514174,0.10982153014638574,0.0,0.0,0.05707204816241785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407492294184926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629067465974492,0.0,0.0,0.06765907847804607,0.0,0.0,0.05152241196977187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116017664616908,0.0,0.06697254713911366,0.0,0.0,0.06604977628277986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483497805799745,0.06603088667686381,0.053907013704280284,0.0,0.0,0.06667733244528141,0.07196864724226568,0.04262183513698705,0.0,0.10873958256260877,0.0,0.057995918428255584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788579053326847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058979775029620075,0.1097793455593634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114368362136476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301393245063784,0.06818009378521832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867886932513329,0.0,0.0,0.03546431552752274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115970479483453,0.1261055144177967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418942922674875,0.0,0.0,0.05486158588063223,0.0,0.0,0.12922397652397682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500776375300457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150768804071487,0.0,0.1423121893245965,0.04784860252184992,0.0,0.06232402991777866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346848553651833,0.0,0.0,0.0437275866090492,0.0981568178792606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160173410933659,0.0,0.0563456076440263,0.06742071458421342,0.0,0.061002249999962614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123494087423975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734499200844868,0.08267987545633776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613833526684311,0.10263460409124286,0.0,0.0,0.05142251220869652,0.0,0.0673194616649317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457717662142068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04567507199879544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746136642094272,0.14774413550703755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341439481828442,0.43667064249897053,0.0,0.056402565463163176,0.059411082042772234,0.0,0.0,0.1714849823614251,0.041348585812730536,0.06340096073870481,0.10246013430992866,0.0,0.0741684013074675,0.06116743823367159,0.0,0.07169584144962106,0.04381202344937305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573369640537907,0.0,0.10648896250826044,0.07612360825704552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058020735308648014,0.0,0.058228805416656926,0.0,0.0,0.06220516999129797,0.0,0.04697902600012049,0.0,0.13152433461803653,0.04584066788002992,0.0,0.0,0.04155557356004802
mentalhealth,nave2192,2018/01/04,"Intrusive thoughts vs ability to act on them I have had intrusive thoughts about self harm on and off for a few years now. When it comes, it scares me. I worry that I'll act on them I've had images of myself trying to hurt myself, typically by way of stabbing myself in the stomach. Despite these uncomfortable thoughts, all signs point to an inability to act on them:


I don't like pain
I don't use drugs
I have never planned anything



As well as instincts... when I am near a wall or hard surface, if I try to punch it: I stop. Unless I'm right up next to the wall, my fist literally stops. 

Is this more of an OCD type issue? Should I be worried that if these thoughts keep happening I'll become fearless to them? I do take medication, and have dealt with anxiety for years, and depression on and off. It just gets annoying. ",2.9799477351916366,4.834329085365859,4.1602787456446,86.09987804878051,75.21951219512195,7.612543554006969,26.958188153310104,8.418075326091056,1.8047871080139373,646,25,134,12,14,211,103,164,0.19,0.74,0.07,-0.9564,0,0,1,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,4,1,6,9,1,1,6,0,12,4,1,1,2,24,23,12,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,9,6,0,3,4,0,0,4,3,6,1,0,6,1,19,3,28,15,3,29,0,2,0,0,5,15,0,3,10,90,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907138902749287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808621989172325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719025682809971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407820305103774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340606272319438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050392505722304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132040373889142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764027819048275,0.0,0.13943131791453586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662593558459698,0.0,0.0,0.1624575674412358,0.0,0.1383483663315255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604245004966616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680042703448074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004643701678586,0.0,0.16553493615064066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562196916294394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147139023061937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292376400366526,0.0,0.0,0.15583223414361536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237630288128127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26025978842360764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170290016391313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4942730494421762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135149371412948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443113394543796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354727379977867,0.0,0.0,0.13994753161817694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161391060799455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200466261372578
mentalhealth,anxious-wreck,2018/01/04,"Can switching meds (same molecule) make me feel sick? ive been taking lamotrigine (started 50mg, then 100mg) and it was from one brand and now i started taking lamictal (yesterday, its also lamotrigine 100mg) and today ove been feeling so dizzy and my head just hurts and feels very uncomfortable. 

help

EDIT: i also have like an unstoppable urge to cry and vomit and my body just won't do any of those. 

it's a mood stabilizer",3.109390243902439,5.549091097560973,4.668475609756096,79.84832317073172,77.04878048780488,8.002439024390245,24.88414634146341,8.841846274778883,2.112336585365854,338,12,63,8,8,113,63,82,0.19,0.73,0.08,-0.866,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,8,4,2,1,0,14,16,11,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,6,1,3,12,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,38,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705312349940604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754286588142655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573320355969889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544775207671451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514164254215681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377592329422781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528284891683972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24800645853129585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318177250555228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464085802246774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573320355969889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698491164804404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279530245451551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34837251644103784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21959512590303729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19115118929741726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,datguy1990,2018/01/04,"Does r/mentalhealth actually help? I've been subscribed to r/mentalhealth for a long time now and i starting to think it is somewhat hurting more than helping.

I would like to hear your opinion on the matter.

",5.359230769230769,7.251840307692309,5.515897435897441,78.67076923076927,69.0,8.276923076923078,36.07692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.3486,168,9,29,3,3,53,33,39,0.061,0.715,0.224,0.6566,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,6,4,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,5,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.3306644159108766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29652605847332064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819036054781708,0.0,0.4542421116485641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36274121131712733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554283908901826,0.0,0.0,0.2998676835165616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23983665200318444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711857151868744,0.0,0.0,0.1975835879361052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24070618455130705,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tsmith68,2018/01/04,"Severe Depression + Anxiety = ADHD-PI? Pls help! *There is so much great feedback on Reddit and I'm really hoping to benefit from it please. The following is my stack and some background information.*



I saw an Adult ADHD Specialist last month and he said while I've been treated primarily for *ADHD-PI* (diagnosed by Psychologist and follow ups with Psychiatrists) it is NOT the root cause of my *depression* and *anxiety.* My ADHD-PI and Anxiety are result from my depression ...mind blown ...I've been running the wrong way for 10yrs now?!



Disappointed as I really wasn't expecting this; I wrestled with it for a bit but then finally accepted it and am moving fwd. My doctor read the report and added 25mg of Aventyl to my bedtime stack. A couple weeks later my family was worried as I was severely depressed and upset for many reasons. I saw another doctor and he doubled the 25mg of Aventyl to 50mg and introduced Siv-Escitalopram (10mg) to be taken in my morning stack. 

    

I'm a little worried as he and the pharmacists warned me about **[Serotonin Syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin_syndrome)**. I also have been told/read that if you mess with your brain chemistry too much it could wake up a dormant bipolar disorder in you, that is if bipolar disorder is in your family history - and it is.

    

I don't drink often (1-2 drinks a week), eat 3 balanced meals (eggs and asparagus, bulletproof coffee, protein and veggies, aim for low sugar), and jog every other day.

    

Here is my present day stack I need advice on please:

    

AM (w/food): 

* Siv-Escitalopram (10mg)

* Vyvanse (50mg)

* Wellbutrin (300mg)

* Vitamin D (3000IU)

* Omega 3 (EPA600mg/DHA240mg)

* Coenzyme Q10 (100mg)

* Iodine (0.045ml)

    

Lunch: 

* OptiMen Multivitamin (1)

    

Dinner: 

* OptiMen Multivitamin (1)

    


Before Bed: 

* Aventyl (50mg)

* Lorazepam (0.5mg)

* Melatonin (1.25 mg)

* Magnesium (200mg)

* GABA (750mg)

* Apple Cider Vinegar + Honey",2.104133838125449,4.859723703264095,3.9033341860227138,77.42652077151338,96.83382789317508,7.190606773764454,26.28512227565742,7.932213699143146,2.7968457382584666,1476,69,238,41,58,492,202,337,0.14400000000000002,0.7959999999999999,0.06,-0.9807,0,0,2,0,0,0,124.0,0,4,0,0,8,14,0,1,12,0,20,16,2,4,0,36,30,26,0,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,1,1,10,19,8,0,3,4,0,5,3,9,0,0,10,5,22,5,29,18,5,27,0,6,2,0,12,9,0,5,12,126,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4567263376422516,0.09284106867882333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597815024351885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962454818137363,0.2180434034034772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084511568161044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372452091055646,0.0,0.0,0.10606074962283928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759975579170088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585644363795782,0.10512494197515976,0.0,0.12254506322041148,0.0,0.3273222410275641,0.09643148431838068,0.0,0.0,0.2177756207512697,0.19449016225536767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614404321808006,0.0,0.09721726996217872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800486400046162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791308503850899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407701314382893,0.0,0.0,0.11488448464162584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474705103661344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368210024417731,0.0,0.0,0.09436473767721787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744449305617215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952233351550618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632356371820076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593135859575996,0.0,0.07583476559820887,0.10097884967794568,0.13968415110727894,0.0704474942377164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085812950762773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900681389142784,0.0,0.12172957500954565,0.0976844165134411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037470595774108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466480488346246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078455837106143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541321297681068,0.15241994930069316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19297120044706467,0.0,0.0,0.10387672573599073,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yknowholic,2018/01/04,"332 days clean from self harm Where to even start? 11 months ago I was incredibly suicidal and just sick of everything (bad relationships, money problems, being a first-year college student in a difficult major) and wanted a way out. I self harmed just about daily and would go really deep, not caring if I died. I don't really know what hit me but I was like ""I can't do this"" and just stopped. This is the longest I've gone without self-harming since around 2010 and it feels so great. I hope anyone struggling with self-injury does seek help and realize that even with how addicting it is that you can recover. 
My inbox will always be open if anyone needs to vent or talk about self harm recovery!",4.683333333333334,6.180266407407405,5.146111111111111,82.21250000000003,70.1111111111111,8.65925925925926,26.092592592592588,9.120678840339163,2.02457037037037,555,17,106,11,10,177,100,135,0.171,0.6829999999999999,0.146,0.2122,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,11,11,0,1,4,0,12,2,0,1,0,30,22,12,2,7,9,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,3,7,11,0,1,3,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,3,1,10,4,12,14,1,14,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,6,64,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540782476358935,0.0,0.0,0.11823652374350907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098584995829572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18652984505580947,0.0,0.0,0.11873969325841036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113697442174654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599348153962687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602139490690859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843113024538226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672489733459294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619723493238934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987658944740362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744276173507566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345603185596699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580498027747275,0.0,0.0,0.14705590263311102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940422322444531,0.0,0.0,0.1324800224782411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330414463192246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516449514294961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064655261952619,0.0,0.0,0.09890225787594843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763010241504424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089791409895225,0.0,0.0,0.14320408139492966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.695740983722014,0.0,0.0,0.11033630183266507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440960678558034,0.0,0.0,0.1115146717889696,0.0,0.13944151149202613,0.0,0.14590002201313162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072086944924872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867310994974193,0.10587370236219383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857704174091947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094751890691188,0.0,0.0,0.08589467269272959
mentalhealth,Nebula263,2018/01/04,"Why do I feel better when I hide my face? It's not in an attempt to look intimidating or anything, I just always feel better, safer, and more secure when I wear something that covers my face. I love winter because it lets me wear my face wraps without looking odd, but I'd wear one any time of the year if it were socially acceptable.",8.225174129353235,5.955001567164185,8.442388059701496,74.31293532338309,63.17910447761193,10.724378109452736,35.76616915422885,8.841846274778883,2.92987960199005,263,9,52,3,3,87,51,67,0.048,0.7390000000000001,0.213,0.8547,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,2,0,3,7,6,0,0,10,8,6,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,9,5,4,6,1,6,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,2,5,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105008951399964,0.0,0.0,0.17203611244331693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818224006012412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421518985262886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474832019509019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558301210700559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586907498422312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248815327823695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283257038181818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714268288893116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578828065282601,0.0,0.1947575378857669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751556194015275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22827647800083595,0.0,0.0,0.24386516291118598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629118080941913
mentalhealth,MansardRod,2018/01/04,"How do I fix the guilt or rather myself. I've had many issues in my life which all stem from a childhood of bullying which made me into a very closed and self protective person. I suffer severely from social anxiety and sometimes depression.

I'm a male age 30 now, and have been through therapy and counselling but never brought up the fact I am a pathological liar. Probably because I chose to ignore it or am scared how this changes peoples perception of me I never brought it up, or maybe I never saw it as a problem. Just a few little lies.

However, I've changed a lot and come closer to the people I have lied to in my life. And only now I see the damage I have done to myself and the risk on friendships I hold dear. These weren't little lies anymore, I've lost track of many of them and even have to really stop myself from still doing it. It's like a see an opening to a great lie and create epic tales in my head to make myself seem more interesting. To begin with I lied for protection, do get out of social situations and also because I had no trust in my post school friends I guess. Not wanting to show a weakness or talk about my problems. But that grew into lying to make myself seem more ""normal"". I once created a whole girlfriend because I'd never had one, so friends wouldn't think I was odd. I even made the fake relationship end badly to get sympathy.

I don't want to go into too many specifics (in this post, I'm happy to provide details if anybody wants) but for once I realise what I am doing, I have stopped and am much more conscious about it. However I feel the lies I've already created can never be untold, not without ruining my life.

I'm full of guilt. How can I forgive myself, should I forgive myself. Do I deserve to keep these friendships and am I just furthering the lies by not coming clean.",4.477726027397259,5.402108717808218,5.460164383561644,81.92010958904113,70.04109589041096,8.141369863013699,29.668493150684927,8.364918446050245,2.1252980821917813,1442,55,280,21,25,475,190,365,0.222,0.635,0.142,-0.9812,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,1,16,26,1,4,20,0,28,6,1,7,7,73,56,26,0,10,15,0,1,1,3,2,5,0,1,3,14,21,0,7,8,1,0,6,13,16,0,1,13,4,41,10,44,40,9,41,0,5,3,0,13,19,0,9,15,200,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108087937987076,0.07325103871146355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007236392873277,0.0,0.09084079039687536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648066182048653,0.16751221763328827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937974771143196,0.1578074584639901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889338603198746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373674963787966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112880773941679,0.0,0.0,0.12099948000469217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046314796615031316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415370673237108,0.0,0.09571254643392756,0.0,0.05205736173362641,0.0,0.0,0.10098732682754584,0.10090573213960266,0.0,0.0,0.09750797553400566,0.0,0.0,0.09400616807131992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956047114398781,0.0,0.0814166791343126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940955294763492,0.04475024837983857,0.1836108983259461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999024373423528,0.07787350477113361,0.0,0.1733448425126677,0.1222850049611532,0.2785985604598183,0.09202269256137806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733520839440305,0.0,0.3532308513275868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089746777158571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950981638512886,0.06206930349842647,0.06966455036563557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270053020369801,0.07998000559529099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754514901155627,0.0,0.0987583402277259,0.1752941926823294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058680145428486936,0.0,0.0,0.0983421754035191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170576669948527,0.09270225753997613,0.14598379487390264,0.16677510229685258,0.0955568880301896,0.10347988126921144,0.0,0.0,0.10296020233636748,0.0,0.18674563706435773,0.0,0.0,0.09059295115690776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315043211919732,0.1531603751277581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362315470245925,0.0,0.0,0.1047505120710281,0.0,0.0,0.058692420987852635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557809892702759,0.16208095543480372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226610694469572,0.0,0.08829738558134978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AweMax,2018/01/04,"I wanna tell someone So a bit of background, I'm a twenty year old college student in India. There's a fair bit of stigma involved with mental health and most people relate it to being locked up in an institution. 

So I was depressed for a while back in high school and now again I've been having anxiety attacks and extreme mood swings. I finally got an appointment with a professional and I couldn't be happier that I'm finally getting me some help

Yay me.",4.257238095238094,5.940020533333335,5.682063492063495,77.225,71.44444444444444,8.253968253968255,30.63492063492064,8.841846274778883,2.7238253968253967,368,16,65,7,7,124,67,90,0.124,0.7809999999999999,0.095,-0.3725,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,7,1,6,1,0,0,0,10,10,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,11,4,4,13,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,2,8,45,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344598921535744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24306414883323224,0.0,0.16428800844947622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4665132719858628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840213002612833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680986473980601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162626001974693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17087994296700953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22710596741603406,0.0,0.0,0.1432088800750455,0.22573892717405125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153146451820195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241956663493674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481219275557903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162309266678715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810297408628497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674445737238107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758723511145093
mentalhealth,St_spectacle,2018/01/04,"My brother told me he hears voices all the time. I offered to get him therapy he doesn't want me to? So my brother (17) told me this a bit ago and we've just had a conversation about it now and I told him that it's okay if he has a mental illness, the stigmas around them are wrong and harmful and that I can find someone he can talk to and that there's maybe medication that can help. He turned my offer down and said he is ""okay"". He also asked me not to tell our mum. 

What can I do? 
",1.7688679245283012,2.65661282075472,3.492594339622641,93.6220990566038,76.45283018867924,6.432075471698113,22.683962264150942,6.6274283507984215,0.2735132075471696,373,10,92,3,8,125,68,106,0.07200000000000001,0.883,0.045,-0.418,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,5,2,10,2,0,0,1,13,19,9,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,8,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,3,15,2,7,14,2,5,0,0,0,0,26,2,0,1,3,59,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459963148032978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751468257847648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534266086830874,0.18413784146414627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150372828828448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800245483290322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029072872925584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199646778728288,0.0,0.13202303259216247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788013199263726,0.0,0.0,0.1984238376907635,0.19849671615013936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736101203347005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688975827171054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583148587020526,0.17215810618140348,0.0,0.2252492790415367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485321946524672,0.0,0.0,0.5646321020850885,0.0,0.0,0.2142438671624685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617641968597285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21535282747939452,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Littlebittle89,2018/01/04,"go off some meds? I'm strongly thinking of going off anti-depressants for my generalized anxiety disorder. since 2015 I have tried all levels of sertaline, citalopram, and now cymbalta. I felt very little help if any from sertaline, citalopram kicked up my migraines, and cymbalta is okish but it makes me slow and very forgetful. like im watching my life and i hop in a second too late. also when i'm on cymbalta and my adhd medicine (adenzys currently but going back to generic adderall next month) it gives me some slight eyesight problems (blurry, have to strain), and if I ever take my migraine medicine with it I break out in a heat rash on my elbows, hands, and knees (serotonin syndrome I believe). my only hesitation is that the last time I came off ADs I had the most horrible anxiety and it felt like i was having heart attacks - but perhaps this was just withdrawl? 

I'm frusterated that I have these problems that need so many medications. I have to take a BC pill for my PMDD (upping the ADs during the second half of the month only slightly helped and left me with an inability to orgasm). since being on all 3 types of meds my blood pressure has been prehypertensive. going off the BC and the stimulant didn't seem to bring it down except for some of the time..

I'm just concerned that 1. going off cymblata will be hell (although I read taking a 2 week rx of a low dose of prosac is very helpful), and 2. that my anxiety will be crippling. 

I am a mother of two young children (so I need fast reflexes) and I work part time (at my computer so I need my eyesight and my ADHD managed) from home. 

What would you do?",3.6125902260087592,5.67355021405751,4.651877884274054,82.35861436516389,74.01597444089457,7.320743107324578,28.5254999408354,8.167268648758528,2.0921632706188618,1279,53,236,21,27,417,175,313,0.151,0.816,0.033,-0.9898,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,2,11,10,2,2,15,0,22,14,7,2,3,46,45,24,0,8,8,1,3,2,0,3,7,0,1,1,13,17,0,0,4,1,0,7,1,7,0,4,8,4,33,3,36,31,7,44,1,1,1,1,7,19,1,7,19,160,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520955916150878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387410646969444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132336417841469,0.0,0.2407033544968123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931842900711605,0.0,0.0806477926382667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816611072725865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995707993461854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033472256777793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020387139494693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487178374551362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140635690956904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061238210250824,0.2980343198801816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242856882679102,0.21090060388313445,0.0,0.10520520879746273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329056994742764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549283754955571,0.11831147698074734,0.0,0.11395461205741375,0.0,0.07408126624532231,0.10248010576178926,0.10511932872275136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000955690307338,0.10633389748166357,0.0,0.0,0.2330005409888969,0.10565759214420427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674316414259129,0.0,0.0,0.23330604706534466,0.0,0.0,0.11154320877949644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953499137524968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357699746018488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071584020085592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491039376911347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548064391031838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351896698304414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23657465910175726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720415783167431,0.0,0.0,0.18347263252140047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120800097376404,0.0,0.1024544849973035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596159301365881,0.0,0.0,0.08413002300514867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635535329767876,0.0,0.0,0.07450517154979464,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TobiThoughts,2018/01/04,"Where to get mental health checked? Hi I'm new to this sub and i dont know if this question is one to be posted here so let me know if i should post elsewhere.

Anyways I want to start counseling because 2017 had been a really good and bad year for me. 
My mom passed away at the end of the year and i was the one who had to watch her as my dad called the ambulance. The odd thing is that i dont feel like i have been 'sad enough'. Everyone knew her health was declining but it still was a shock.
But after that day i had been having slight health issues. I went to the doctor because i felt dizzy all the time and i was told i just havent been eating enough and i have since increased my food intake. But another thing i hadnt realized i had been doing is 'perfecting' everything. It makes me anxious if i have too many things now, my dad and older brother have also been saying im acting 'ocd'. But i am pretty sure they just mean I'm a bit obsessive.
They said the following:
1. I like to reorder the condiments on the resturant tables when we go out to eat
2. I leave for work at the same time every day, else i panic or get angry
3. I need to check all my pockets and my wallet when i change locations... But i only do this so i dont lose anything
4. I need exact instuctions for tasks and they need to be consistent. Ex. When my dad was teaching me how to drive he told me to stop at yeild so i did and the next time we came to a yeild i stopped but then he said to only stop if someone is coming and i got upset because now i wasnt sure when to stop.
5. I have a consistent routine everyday 
6. If i dont do anything i deem challenging for the day, i feel worthless

And thinking about this idk. I just feel like if im not ontop of everything something bad will happen. I think about death everyday now which is exhausting because i am constantly thinking i wont be able to do enough before i die. On top of that i am worried about my little bro, he's 13 and everyone tells me i should check on him and my sister who is in college to make sure they're okay but idk if i am..

To me, this doesn't sound like ocd but maybe some type of grieving. But tbh i felt like I've always did this, not just after my mom's passing.. But i just want a professional opinion on my mental health since my moms passing to see if i am doing okay since idk myself. My dad is against mental health evals and barely goes to any doctor. So idk who to ask. Should i be going to a therapist, counselor etc?

I did go to counseling in college and it was a good experience but now i just want a total mental health evaluations where should i go for that? Also it would be nice to know if anyone else does the same habits as me.

Thanks.",1.780273899033297,3.3699146578947388,3.4379627640529904,91.13312030075191,77.85964912280701,6.547798066595059,22.15896885069817,7.369714342285796,0.6555059076262086,2105,60,470,27,49,700,242,570,0.155,0.7659999999999999,0.078,-0.9923,0,0,1,0,0,1,46.0,2,0,3,5,30,27,0,3,23,2,63,12,0,3,8,94,106,50,3,20,29,11,5,5,0,7,9,4,0,0,21,20,3,4,15,0,3,14,11,11,0,2,31,11,77,16,52,62,12,63,0,4,2,0,35,15,0,13,37,314,98,9,0.05999684844697763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959589160535674,0.0499221841552058,0.0,0.0,0.04079991432354298,0.06291192681824008,0.0,0.0677793613211344,0.0,0.04195119143033645,0.061473861333455025,0.09874458841814268,0.0,0.05608895431871815,0.0,0.05636901409141516,0.0,0.10018972476638496,0.1462940877706539,0.0,0.051052899051687334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550101945658797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061263490314160576,0.06862041128054401,0.0,0.0,0.06346871035869638,0.05168197245305075,0.0,0.06483527890028637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607901149860195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062267256407191225,0.0,0.0,0.12281863333925755,0.05250364638757705,0.0,0.2812634381865862,0.0,0.0,0.12278350838178614,0.10023933650001576,0.0,0.05313939971594131,0.18597834784275827,0.06691234546902376,0.0,0.0,0.05054993245943392,0.11465911959908495,0.10784259753004607,0.058688430273748336,0.0,0.0,0.09100862783515007,0.08572352103691595,0.1152127665426954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254842729290795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269175406989203,0.0,0.13639036640132968,0.10064501989226096,0.047984960519459434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05305501493902751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826430659201225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961378366723986,0.06262112210805468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891809655996084,0.0,0.0,0.06352799964431248,0.0,0.06135084244788245,0.0,0.1465571479665992,0.060132603881500414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712112681268566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009672444304182,0.06082738744750986,0.060274898389519965,0.06535415663758004,0.0,0.0,0.2418508473007933,0.0,0.0,0.2108027513303769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334607087183829,0.0,0.05794533009411744,0.06380732897276631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131083447662828,0.09126061361092168,0.0,0.0703933746093789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492079230296152,0.06103836412693998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721020118442354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03843551742224025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414148402625107,0.0477119019822049,0.0,0.0,0.04780972039408688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488900390769939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083513499199195,0.046188505115294175,0.0,0.0,0.04246607813285501,0.0,0.04791356067084492,0.2006402071308428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696389588832212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243989001079897,0.05523703721917201,0.0,0.06966096530363107,0.11957772053041743,0.11533067375478573,0.0,0.0,0.10495393443392127,0.0,0.0,0.11465911959908495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616308703630926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561767959305152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04367842022841599,0.06092971191423412,0.0,0.04262003974305604,0.0,0.0,0.07727200665181841
mentalhealth,udbhavs123,2018/01/04,"I need your advice on how to deal with myself. (LONG) Okay, this might be long so bear with me. I'm a 14 year old in high school, so you could say I'm just going through a sort of phase and concerned about these things and that might be true. But I've been having a lot of problems with myself for a few years and I really need to hear someone else's advice on this. I've really been unable to narrow it down to some specific thing but I'm really having a hard time dealing with some of my habits and tendencies.

First off, I'll start by telling you the thing I'm SURE about and the reason I'm writing this post: my social anxiety (not actually diagnosed, but I am sure of it). This is the reason my current school life feels like hell. It kind of started when a kid in middle school told me people think I walk weirdly, not swinging my arms, hunching by back and there was something about my feet movement as well. From that day on I became more and more conscious of this and it eventually became social anxiety, and being overweight didn't help

Each morning I have to walk a short distance from my school gate to the high school block, and in the way lies a short field next to which is a garden and a road we take. Then we walk back for the daily assembly, and then return to the high school block. I have begun to fucking dread these thirty or so minutes - I feel EXTREMELY anxious ,and the fact that the road is wide with a lot of people surrounding it doesn't help. I don't know what to do. I am so nervous I would rather not go to school at all because of the morning routine - I don't know what to do with my hands, I tend to skip and drag my legs and I can't describe what I feel. But the first half is easier - I still have my backpack and I can rest my hands against the straps so I don't feel awkward walking in public with my hands swinging.

I clutch onto that backpack like my life depends on it - it's the only way I can feel that my walking is somewhat normal and I won't attract attention to myself. But the second half where we come back from the assembly is much, much harder. We go in a straight line and I can't ""trail"" a group of kids like I normally do to keep myself from being seen and I know I am in clear sight of at  least one person who is behind me.

So this was the reason for this post. Please do respond if you have a solution - even some tips on how to avoid this - you would improve my life. 

There are some other things I would like to share. I could have written a separate post but I feel that if I talk about everything in one post you would have a better picture of me.

I experience some compulsions sometimes - for example right now I keep typing one word again and then backspacing and typing it again a few times. Sometimes I randomly keep changing channels on TV back and forth between the same two channels because it ""feels good"". I keep drawing over my dotted i's and full stops to make them look like perfect circles until I've literally pierced the paper. I used to repeatedly keep drinking water again and again because I thought ""I haven't had enough and I might be thirsty in the next 30 minutes."" Same thing with going to use the restroom. These are, as you can imagine, annoying.

I've also had procrastination problems. Major ones, and for a long time. To give the most recent example, we've been given 9 or 10 projects which will be graded when we go to 10th grade and will influence are boards - very important examinations where I live. We were given the winter vacations to get them finished and I haven't touched a single one of them. I've always done this, but now they keep getting more and more important and my attitude towards them is the same. This scares me. I generally get good grades in school but the main problem is not studying but WORK - anything that requires me to sit down and put pen to paper for 2 - 3 hours will automatically make me anxious at the thought of it. Maybe not that much, but enough for me not to do it for months. I make schedules and I don't follow them. I set dozens of alarms and turn them all off in the morning when the first one goes off, knowing that I won't get up anyway. My room is a mess 24/7, and the worst part is that I've given up.

Earlier I used to believe that I needed motivation to do things - I looked for ways to get motivated and I failed. Then I realized that the key is discipline, not motivation. Doing things when you don't want to, not making yourself feel like you're excited about doing them. So off I went to r/getdisciplined and I actually was able to handle myself for a few days - then the winter vacation started and I was back to square one. I still haven't lost hope about this one though I keep putting it off. Funny, huh?

I don't have depression. As much as I would love to just take one of those online tests and proclaim that I am clinically depressed, I can't lie to myself about this. I suspect my problems might push me into depressions though, if I don't get on track. I thought about this seriously for a while and dismissed the idea.

There's not much to my background that might affect this stuff, except the fact that I move around a lot. We've been to a lot of cities, even a different country once. I've switched schools 7 or 8 times and the longest I've stayed at a one school is 3 years, the shortest being around 6 months. This is the most recent one, I've been at my new school for about 7 months.

I would love it if anyone has advice. The immediate cause for this post was the school walking thing, but I am ready to take advice on anything. I trust Reddit with this more than any website on the entire internet. Thank you for reading.",4.264037150115886,5.241783933978875,4.809650561597434,86.19166963808166,70.57570422535211,7.6533071848814425,27.14383134248529,7.852212281139753,1.4477267694776257,4463,145,923,54,79,1424,428,1136,0.099,0.797,0.104,0.7383,2,1,2,1,0,0,111.0,6,9,8,12,53,46,3,6,64,2,97,17,6,19,9,199,174,85,0,24,31,0,13,6,0,16,6,2,3,3,65,60,3,13,29,6,0,19,26,22,1,19,26,20,124,24,142,123,41,147,1,5,5,3,48,56,2,28,67,665,189,30,0.037957936394148815,0.0,0.07408294084507397,0.0,0.0,0.14836822454286155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03035494802057612,0.03158404382681779,0.0,0.0,0.025812698381122743,0.0,0.05807543489216629,0.08576332765669642,0.0,0.026541071692769716,0.0,0.06247229485319874,0.06758122188127129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593655041757886,0.0,0.06941641713913528,0.0,0.0,0.042765595961557136,0.0,0.033570710121642186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899325667158795,0.04015446366225613,0.03269740117817598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061264709066516,0.0,0.0,0.04895945758499324,0.07826593138994699,0.098079344987914,0.038526506431776984,0.0,0.03965796459695019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038844147645244284,0.0,0.03718432692895606,0.0,0.0,0.03170898520129645,0.0,0.0,0.07844139018227518,0.0,0.05014171799702232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034114145689193215,0.037130145350419634,0.0,0.0,0.1535413851940712,0.05423431468866846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968610039181266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035091500550352234,0.11898873065935807,0.03641271135390859,0.10786184996891124,0.06367463229063547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034002855310627536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04278135301499365,0.0,0.050884809292077116,0.12031393150721872,0.0,0.03770079553116778,0.03738092130421237,0.0,0.0,0.0428498899330966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23617130550262794,0.0,0.03952734962988068,0.08344275662571432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043243907418801,0.11126598235653032,0.0,0.03351755325766572,0.1007747377266672,0.06375021324103669,0.0,0.04143557148825045,0.12908192053461834,0.06851703914500126,0.0,0.10134886916520378,0.0,0.03813384900133762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013368603562153,0.0,0.0,0.09089298806991823,0.040343279262883634,0.1395172537291879,0.08443598661898713,0.0,0.036660011500341864,0.08073739195715379,0.0,0.07438143686654135,0.0,0.0,0.03983046903348282,0.040423963446738834,0.28293408065769393,0.028868721077872406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411047461409645,0.0,0.052630507491585495,0.03314340595351182,0.0,0.041666415606406125,0.0,0.0,0.18176605261424972,0.0,0.0,0.14528247519166546,0.0,0.0763164202570003,0.0,0.0,0.03796820835081278,0.0,0.07295047806780704,0.11708124149569248,0.0749577658193099,0.0,0.0,0.032415870281962224,0.0,0.03018567454063713,0.038002516146085887,0.4609854973006396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738667199637712,0.03216163632860293,0.02922187389320236,0.07508273935146723,0.0,0.08060046824461492,0.040458109732020686,0.060626514073265136,0.03173453446938942,0.0,0.0,0.043452755814583466,0.0,0.0,0.07154981167551991,0.0,0.08561893273478967,0.030509151452541,0.03317690947225647,0.034946568022143916,0.0,0.0,0.20174053037967704,0.024321912967074723,0.07458695956856322,0.09040308466294457,0.08853431184426683,0.0,0.0,0.036270434876237365,0.0,0.0,0.04128733490101065,0.037079388353207135,0.0,0.0,0.09835040933039436,0.0,0.031319272801859296,0.0223885743414895,0.09038772933950166,0.0,0.0,0.03412874338324138,0.035187387321667686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027633829771780912,0.0,0.0,0.1617853736880253,0.0,0.0,0.07333099961400699
mentalhealth,Katkit1492,2018/01/04,"I have ANOTHER mental illness to add to my list! I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 12 and borderline personality disorder at 15. I've tried therapy and sooo many medications. I've finally found some that keep me somewhat level headed. The anxiety and depression is still there but I have less anxiety attacks and less outbursts of various emotions. It's been quite a struggle over the last 13 years! As i've grown older, i've noticed that my social anxiety has been getting worse. I avoid human contact as much as possible besides my bf because i'm very comfortable with him. I've been thinking that it has to be more than social anxiety. I started to feel like I was possibly on the spectrum because even when talking to people I have a hard time making conversation and just don't feel like I can interact with people normally. I get so awkward. Today I read about avoidant personality disorder and my heart sunk. I hate to self diagnose anything, but the description fit me to a T. Discovering this has really brought me down. I feel like i'm getting further and further away from being a happy ""normal"" person :(",6.044322169059013,7.676972124401917,7.2334736842105265,68.01898245614035,66.99043062200957,10.932185007974482,37.85677830940989,10.93419730881044,4.881208357256779,910,50,145,28,15,308,129,209,0.208,0.693,0.099,-0.9606,0,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,8,13,2,4,8,0,16,6,2,1,0,28,31,15,0,2,3,0,4,3,1,0,4,0,0,5,6,12,0,3,5,1,0,2,1,8,0,0,7,4,20,5,23,22,7,21,0,2,0,0,13,10,0,2,12,97,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809440580200423,0.39430161474920855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483079561416296,0.0,0.0,0.11727493202210705,0.09685246330890836,0.0,0.0,0.1256802429180269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757522516056995,0.20925974949514545,0.0,0.0,0.2362904199115088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595760313621405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680871711395216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636977034764882,0.2209334590048149,0.0,0.11292540943772088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130282131864461,0.0,0.0,0.16157416202929606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973670659402301,0.09234459134027176,0.10177584442172144,0.10579572826915264,0.0,0.0,0.12215711993719496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162735849136697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402865169640505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108748334402827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881054414667248,0.10451277897787338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384805632658876,0.10388619834844633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757798935580101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020043119318917,0.0,0.1173638190849612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293337021089944,0.27003152386251417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23242740715185825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964439304062927,0.10311365478128702,0.0,0.06603937643577433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754092808695248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016589740496155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296463031206298,0.0,0.08232441974852465,0.0,0.0,0.10776761690447947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285642771131628,0.0,0.0,0.1178875486416312,0.0,0.0,0.06605319150524955,0.0,0.0,0.06011013466489469,0.0,0.09771324537755507,0.0,0.0,0.06998846316632504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505654662060816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050531945816986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638384855298325
mentalhealth,Jessses,2018/01/04,"I used to never cry now the littlest things make me want to cry. Any suggestions on how to prevent this reaction? I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety. Right now I take lamictal 100 my, well butrin 300 mg, and Lexa pro 10 mg. I don't like the medicine I'm on however my psychiatrist switched his availability, and now it makes it very hard to see him. I'd rather not switch to another one, however I find myself giving up because I can't change my medicine. I'm scatter brained, forgetful, and am stressed out all the time. The littlest thing can cause me to go into stress, panic mood which is obviously not good for my health. I start tearing up as soon as the first thing goes wrong. I don't want to cry in the wrong environment or cry over the simplest things. Any suggestions on stopping that response? ",3.2728301886792472,5.6299708742138375,3.980477987421384,85.40430188679248,76.1069182389937,8.013584905660379,29.467924528301893,8.841846274778883,2.516942641509434,655,30,129,15,15,208,105,159,0.171,0.722,0.107,-0.8991,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,0,3,7,0,7,4,1,5,3,25,19,8,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,5,1,2,1,2,16,3,20,18,1,20,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,1,10,77,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127916019586434,0.1320529977867379,0.09633932463657427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767683244879966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405842253829476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293691220770556,0.1332216940793819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5533312575198096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782057050922518,0.0,0.0,0.14433151311621015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510158487672802,0.10711957322884788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080756783089573,0.07157131272009179,0.10562763899662994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281231461885717,0.0,0.0,0.13386217445182058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061525092982696025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681241238431655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712822502266992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533627873297726,0.0,0.0,0.14775665937477267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754712577769386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003532592416874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913688079989751,0.0,0.0,0.10528663708205674,0.2885144201933131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468685192043268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346603686169557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343324958373265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087667218817951,0.0,0.10390891072764914,0.14855851777191084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322997733349505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753785745403864,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sokyriediculous,2018/01/04,"How to get past insecurities? I think everyone has insecurities, I know the answer probably isn’t as simple as I’d like, or maybe I’m hoping there’s some kind of answer when there’s none at all. But any tips or advice would greatly help.

I’ll just break it down real quickly for you guys. Recently I’ve been getting into arguments with my girlfriend because I feel like she’s not giving me attention, when I honestly know she’s trying to when I sit and think about it. But, now, I’ve told her about how insecure I get and at first she was understanding, now she’s just tired of it. She suggested I see a therapist and I can 100% tell you I can’t afford to invest the money or time into that. Even if I did, I don’t think my problems would be solved quickly enough to make me feel less insecure about the relationship.

So. I’m just asking. If anyone has been through this or has helped someone through this, please please please. Help. Before I fuck this up for good.",2.5318270332187858,4.6399948402061835,3.941168384879728,86.00277205040095,77.40206185567008,7.197709049255441,23.14891179839633,8.167268648758528,1.2984877434135171,765,24,156,14,18,252,114,194,0.124,0.73,0.146,0.5158,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,1,19,13,1,4,4,0,14,2,0,3,1,39,34,19,0,6,12,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,11,0,2,0,5,6,0,1,5,3,24,7,22,26,5,19,0,0,1,1,19,6,1,8,13,105,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062095465856438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090030740057282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346529913268488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496357587707364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148410217105104,0.0,0.11374347947615493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381170301379965,0.0,0.08828789443523327,0.0,0.0,0.127727587062869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517532056100134,0.09549400461876342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369978839206794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357592918325665,0.2095114589424253,0.12822861858484438,0.0,0.11211620659291664,0.0,0.14737184738150974,0.0,0.13235449562278284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687889157329634,0.0,0.0,0.13276465142968258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919692466998054,0.14692327232970792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306089978157409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922588434763196,0.0,0.13428966415706606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760331366757005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401891577912904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411906425194884,0.1279043114734608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214593106686905,0.0,0.0,0.1319831784812234,0.14351175063265392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651782859382587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325831130128736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683363068444587,0.0,0.0,0.15520138375062226,0.0,0.2569513654830348,0.0,0.0,0.0779441579810532,0.1536342103529285,0.0,0.127727587062869,0.0,0.09075327913169833,0.0,0.0,0.13915537343298962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991092399588155,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adieumonsieur,2018/01/04,"Know I need help, but struggling to motivate myself to get it. I had sort of a breakdown for a week and a half starting just before Christmas - extreme irritability, depression, suicidal ideations/planning, instigating fights, sever anxiety and panic, irrational thoughts and ""logic,"" etc. In the midst of it I felt like I had no control. 

It was triggered by PMS irritability I think, but i don't think it was just that. Over the past few days I've stabilized and now I just feel ashamed of my behaviour and feel like I'm just a shitty person who loses control and acts like an ass. 

What worries me most is that this seems to be cycling. When I think about 2017, I can identify 2-3 distinct ""depressed periods,"" one period of extreme anxiety, and two instances of almost hysterical acting out. The depression has been around for a while, since I was a teen or early 20s, but the irritability and acting out is more recent. I first noticed extreme irritability in 2015 but I thought it was a side effect of an iud I got. 

I know logically this isn't a normal pattern of behaviour, but the feeling of emotional stability I have right now makes me second guess that. My other problem with seeking treatment is that I am really uncomfortable with my GP and don't want to see him about this, but that's the only way to access a psychiatrist (in Ontario) is through a referral which seems like it will take so long. Either that or going to the hospital emergency room , which is more immediate, but in my current state that seems like overkill. 

I guess I need some encouragement. I've never sought help for mental illness before and it's scary and there are so many barriers. ",6.836075478084275,7.461331389067527,7.412333728211205,71.07378575055004,64.69131832797427,10.534506684718226,35.66102555423929,10.426177893888326,3.8639864951768494,1326,60,231,31,19,438,175,311,0.262,0.6459999999999999,0.093,-0.9967,1,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,0,6,13,15,1,3,19,0,22,3,1,6,2,66,49,24,1,5,14,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,22,16,0,3,18,0,0,4,5,9,0,5,11,5,26,6,31,36,7,33,0,4,1,1,7,11,1,11,21,165,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111186318990061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988417285276408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884540684883918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896658269466446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490721923390439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160890805716971,0.0,0.28690492681028884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249003349080524,0.0,0.0,0.1238342728643569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684291168296586,0.07932400082951215,0.106611784936686,0.0,0.0,0.09444699847633793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058011624950661235,0.0,0.06310420644584487,0.0,0.08880547607022671,0.0,0.24463691360653345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148849918272781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204474849163895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712324269057275,0.0,0.0,0.09826319277641428,0.0,0.12422066323370935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411726162560386,0.11257287787480083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189797490728773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466328402485564,0.08563765747206177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879151315125968,0.0,0.12641499921812138,0.0,0.0,0.0752407346718155,0.0844477326900405,0.0,0.13027659243025938,0.0,0.0,0.10599623923642608,0.0,0.09695218152718864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062462690712778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113237951510543,0.0,0.10963446135831126,0.0,0.0,0.09482397024454264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848116023060018,0.3032484782618952,0.0,0.12543885385543416,0.0,0.09184996478903744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785917138328015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607873118764472,0.0,0.12145514814289875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348510631155104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344178003731595,0.0,0.17630005170366636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846584673825144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549179425722397,0.08813505321938925,0.08906622469091706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112762249146189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jhoeshmoe,2018/01/04,"Can't sleep please help Hi sorry if this post is incorrectly formatted I don't really know how to use Reddit but this was the only place I could think of where I could find help. I can't sleep, it feels like there's this busy cacophony of sounds in my head, but not really it kinda feels like the impression of sounds if that makes sense, it sorta sounds like a mixture of a busy restaurant and an orchestra getting in tune but no matter how hard I try I can't hear it, if that makes sense but at the same time I'm thinking maybe I'm just being edgy and blowing some nothing way out of proportion, there's a lot of things in my life i feel that way about but I'm having a bit of a hard time collecting my thoughts and this is already rambling enough",4.394807692307694,4.8043129679487215,5.0170769230769245,86.87792307692308,69.96153846153847,8.547692307692307,25.856410256410257,8.548686976883017,1.4339610256410251,597,16,131,9,10,192,89,156,0.08800000000000001,0.823,0.08900000000000001,0.4772,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,9,0,11,4,3,5,0,35,26,13,0,5,10,0,5,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,12,4,0,0,8,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,9,10,4,14,21,5,12,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,7,5,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508023916689998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331744867923295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388766076155567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457016054225345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691703166063645,0.21373937174868746,0.0,0.0,0.1367258251153915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815647308135829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680129351122252,0.0,0.1535261743228132,0.0,0.16860284062728442,0.0,0.20053885131718555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221272122889567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566237196640547,0.21925160576293087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717911509328916,0.0,0.0,0.19970975707135294,0.0,0.15028686127397858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353907783781614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377266112411592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629345528643449,0.16420883246808482,0.0,0.0,0.14326930141564384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916669601830186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29940323620264536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674577692142102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938332969432842,0.19170705584281955,0.0,0.11876059545770933,0.17445844296572016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015642235509049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920082560384885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23748084699657285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pythonhalp,2018/01/04,"Is it ethical for a therapist to humur a patient's delusions on the patient's request - i.e. pretend to believe in them instead of confronting them? I'm watching season two of The Travelers.

**SEMI-SPOILERS**

The protagonist of the first episode is this time traveler and he is relaying his story to a therapist. So IRL he is a legitimate time traveler, but any normal therapist(/human) would consider him delusional. In the show it appears that the therapist humors his delusions instead of trying to confront him. The therapist momentarily states that she doesn't think she should continue treatment as he clearly needs medication; ultimately the protagonist says he doesn't care if she believes him but wants to talk openly and will pay her, and she agrees to continue this fake treatment.

**My question: is it unethical for a therapist to humur someone with delusions instead of confronting them to seek medication?**

One the one hand, it seems that it's clearly unethical to take someone's money and listen to their delusions while he refuses to take drugs to treat it, as the therapist is simply profiting off someone's delusions without helping him.

On the other hand, if the patient clearly states that ""I don't care if you think I am delusional: I want to talk to someone; I'm willing to pay them to humor me; I refuse to take medication"" it seems to me that it is OK. The patient is openly consenting to transfer money to the therapist with the sole intention of not seeking treatment, but rather seeking someone to talk to with the lawful guarantee of doctor-patient confidentiality.

E.g., I think it's unethical for a therapist to take money for humoring someone who is delusional but doesn't openly consent to the arrangement, whereas I think it's OK so long as they consent.

Of course, you can argue that someone with delusions is not capable of consent, but IMHO that is incorrect.

[x-posted to /r/therapy for visibility]",7.802251585623679,9.039797174418602,8.27678646934461,63.57223044397465,62.72093023255814,11.254545454545458,42.380549682875284,11.115808304768276,5.431027906976746,1564,92,231,43,22,518,146,344,0.134,0.7290000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.7212,0,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,2,6,1,6,14,4,0,23,2,21,6,2,1,3,44,40,18,0,10,12,0,2,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,21,11,0,2,7,5,6,4,7,5,0,4,0,5,28,9,52,36,0,22,0,0,1,0,36,8,0,7,8,170,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745436621257475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724154229012216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229543900640745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142515494016549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092532940387714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935680033371865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04677361388472986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061755151649891565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108950185611411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174270135544032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683718511789474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945726034056264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683216685380537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817216170932137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549369666336616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270543949945633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413884295263962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20987046136423285,0.1682651411898783,0.0,0.0,0.07980215723607052,0.7292038014646546,0.0,0.17885475557627187,0.0,0.0,0.08138125651575895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04737761033006683,0.0,0.06816718065935251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231883316433697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726766016111622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957135345733836,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiarasp,2018/01/04,"To help with crippling social anxiety: anxiolytics or what? Hi guys. I am suffering quite severe depression anxiety and anger problems for more than a year (and on and off for much longer).
I am 26F, currently seeing a therapist once a week but it will take a long time before i see any results as the amount of traumas and problems i am carrying is a lot and complicated. In the meantime i feel so incredibly stuck socially as i get crippling anxiety when with other humans. It doesnt matter if i met them before or not, i can pretend i am fine and handle social situations okay but in reality i am always incredibly uncomfortable and anxious. I just want to leave, i can never really let go and enjoy, i just feel out of place. 
My question is: what can i do to help myself? What helps with social anxiety? I will also ask my therapist of course. 

Does anyone who has taken anxiolitics have experience with it helping with these problems? Or what alternative methods, sources..etc would you recommend? (I am usually against medication but if it could possibly help, i would be willing to discuss it with my theeapist and eventually a psychiatrist)

I dont think i will ever be able to improve in my current condition if i can never have some time off with other people. I need toget back out there, but i honestly cannot do this alone. 

Any advice please?



Tl;dr   can anxiolitics or other solutions help with crippling anxiety when around other humans?",5.012900919305416,7.196603284644198,6.600110657133127,69.3592875383044,70.46067415730337,9.798365679264556,31.986550902281238,10.125756701596842,3.81787041198502,1155,53,188,33,22,395,147,267,0.157,0.682,0.161,0.7344,2,1,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,1,10,11,1,0,8,1,31,1,0,1,3,53,45,26,0,11,14,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,16,20,0,0,4,1,0,1,6,7,0,0,3,4,29,4,31,32,5,25,0,2,2,0,21,10,0,10,14,151,45,0,0.0946953933160185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253524238511676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807586883901573,0.0,0.07572787182231673,0.07879415312872265,0.0,0.0,0.12879222939658888,0.0,0.36220858347032336,0.10697884047502304,0.0,0.06621322078412298,0.0,0.0,0.084298976640503,0.08852740981201944,0.0,0.0,0.07281491226222643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115761013330554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560656612855719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156100350456763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286857683184229,0.0,0.11098229571188484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561039514410876,0.0,0.0856574046679198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263026528441412,0.0,0.0,0.09576167227758033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947443459939428,0.0,0.05381757427768865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376332737138712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808339562790309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026874858626184,0.0,0.09683245547481713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380244319443024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805066370579682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539564630523888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961200987887614,0.07021543426285587,0.14606985022227192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084750335825332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564986246335569,0.0,0.09893653112817352,0.10394710536807614,0.0,0.10675482771951246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718321075336469,0.0,0.0,0.10608051257279556,0.10072020707794838,0.0,0.0,0.060664293772368524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091993643792792,0.0,0.0,0.10697884047502304,0.0,0.0,0.10644158966865316,0.0,0.3861201128544109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119915078653957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21989730057339935,0.0,0.06067698440450898,0.0,0.0,0.11043529072550208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042935972731967,0.0,0.0558537964508281,0.0,0.07595893258003808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453778093626995,0.0,0.0,0.060980728585090835
mentalhealth,spidersspiders,2018/01/04,"I'm never present I wish I knew what was wrong with me. All I know is that my head is so scattered and lately I really just cannot connect with people.

I try so hard though, but that's all it ends up being- me trying to mirror what a ""friend"" would be like while not *actually* being a friend. It used to be nearly effortless but now I overthink everything I do way too much. Everything. All the while I'm just thinking about how ""miserable"" I am and use it as an excuse for being such a fake friend. 

I honestly just want to live again, ya know? The last time I remember being alive, being present, was a long time ago. I can't fix this on my own, I don't know what to do. 

I don't even know if this will make sense but I'm just so tired of feeling this way and had a sudden urge to reach out. 

If anyone could direct me to something that could relate to this, I would appreciate it so much. ",1.0932144979203784,2.984043315508025,2.911934046345813,92.68920825906122,81.0855614973262,6.080689245395128,18.945038621509205,7.1686216300943375,0.17512382650029726,688,16,156,9,18,229,106,187,0.114,0.777,0.109,-0.4334,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,16,8,0,1,8,0,24,2,1,4,4,38,39,17,0,8,10,0,2,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,14,6,0,0,8,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,2,20,5,17,23,6,21,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,2,16,116,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.1415311717940748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856289929751444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141036342506432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315939100263993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845608559966826,0.0,0.0,0.09579285086329692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606924055157212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333298299687865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361561350819742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299209751006393,0.0,0.14884557913698093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188251165045487,0.11822115628365945,0.16360340832276188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085574035490297,0.0,0.12806669211872054,0.12834953683892214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681057507525667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21323171224616635,0.0,0.11185829975542634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054753918285128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929117781241646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429398307542287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165339839228634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929312147502978,0.14249407040106676,0.0,0.1691396798826502,0.16669396290376698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969356136269706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25052368818289944,0.0,0.0,0.08554415160100823,0.2302407023496913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667806569527365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060543966533698,0.1585706890554779,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,simmaltree,2018/01/04,"You are awesome. <3 Hi everyone,

Just wanted to drop a note to say that you all are amazing, unique, special, and very important in this world. You each bring a value and purpose to this world, which is unlike any other. You are loved and appreciated - don't let anyone or yourself make you doubt that.

Thank you for being a part of this community of now 40,000 members. Let's continue to make this forum a place to combat stigma, face every challenge with a fighting spirit, and share love and wisdom together.

In 2017, this forum gained more than 15,000 members and was referenced in media and academic journals, not to mentioned providing a forum for support and healing for thousands of you. Who did that? You all - we all - did that!

I am always open to your suggestions and comments. Please post them here or hit me up with a PM to discuss how we can level up in 2018.

With love and gratitude, /u/simmaltree",4.617369747899161,6.70008218235294,5.1104201680672245,80.05117647058826,71.29411764705883,7.680672268907562,28.61344537815126,8.418075326091056,2.2529915966386556,721,28,125,12,14,230,110,170,0.048,0.687,0.266,0.9915,0,0,0,0,3,0,30.0,2,9,1,2,4,12,1,1,7,0,13,5,1,3,3,29,23,13,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,12,17,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,1,14,10,24,16,6,16,1,0,0,3,24,11,0,3,2,94,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726926293497574,0.0,0.0,0.13670418697010353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056165587588204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693725963113855,0.1920884146864017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111242474805463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442999018323912,0.0,0.26837207321379525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769095267941688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002878998036065,0.2206655571351557,0.0,0.0,0.19252679494808614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159863491809122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281212775644645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850772088344065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586703418826468,0.11857000796984946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,starstruck_21,2018/01/04,"How do I cope with word-retrieval problem? I'm 20, and for the past 3-4 years I've found myself finding it exceedingly difficult to lay out my thoughts when talking to people. When chatting online, I always need some time to completely think through what I'm saying and rephrase myself. But it's not possible to space out in real-life conversations, and so the insecurity stemming out my poor verbal abilities has pervaded my social life and debilitated my self-confidence. How do I cope with this? 




",8.401847826086954,8.347495489130438,8.772956521739129,64.93726086956524,61.5,11.707826086956524,39.052173913043475,11.20814326018867,4.6374582608695665,403,19,66,10,5,134,66,92,0.131,0.847,0.022,-0.867,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,20,9,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,9,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,9,0,12,7,1,10,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517730696647566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711389326294922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363572429300486,0.0,0.0,0.2835433851706005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826580084512321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917498628036572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468645569855189,0.1792818381397762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915345291779158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24744687485696865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943453174564191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565042881259288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697779424670154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636118377777109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078542280205399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570150931985456,0.0,0.205300841208492,0.1507927143626537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653099795814946
mentalhealth,Kobathesealion,2018/01/04,"I know it's a first world problem but I've developed a weird mental block stopping me from playing videogames It's kind of funny and kind of fascinating, but also frustrating beyond my ability to describe. I've been depressed for almost a decade now and my main way of coping has been to play games. Now I suddenly just can't anymore and it's driving me up the wall with boredom.

I'm not completely at a loss to explain it. It could be burnout. I have played literally thousands of hours. My Autism could be making it worse, because it means I'm attracted to familiar games (which I've played to death) while anxiously avoiding unfamiliar ones.

Also thanks to steam, EA origin and Blizzard I own literally hundreds of games, meaning every time I sit down I have to choose between hundreds of great possibilities. I'm not good at making decisions, let alone with this many options. It's tormenting. Even when I force myself to sit down to one specific game I agonize over what else I could be doing with that time.

I don't want to be overdramatic here... but I am fucking suicidal right now. I'm so close to putting a plan together, and I have no one to talk to until my therapist comes back from winter break. I need a solution to this. I need my escapism back.

So any advice or interesting thoughts from you guys would be welcome. ",4.275663865546214,6.273504756862747,5.156694677871148,79.71941176470591,72.01960784313725,8.46498599439776,30.966386554621852,9.107695989026183,2.841403361344537,1063,48,195,23,21,346,152,255,0.17600000000000002,0.6579999999999999,0.16699999999999998,-0.1922,0,2,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,4,14,19,2,1,7,0,20,1,0,3,0,40,37,16,2,8,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,13,10,0,3,7,8,0,3,5,7,0,5,3,0,23,12,36,24,2,34,0,2,0,1,9,11,1,3,16,132,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257119231512935,0.0,0.0,0.12882094034371655,0.13323903162401735,0.0,0.2057572046619343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748406783766008,0.0,0.0,0.14533398763511127,0.12758281268178562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978425174806579,0.0,0.07842174494096521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081761466978853,0.13488346370983287,0.0,0.0,0.30814141464058303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108030879957764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746768785871197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496983527216814,0.0,0.10839026977854273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942669266217013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893166569975512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790262545596216,0.0,0.14183327936252987,0.0,0.1273803137172873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669094129281444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267931177547272,0.07070078138889868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315498169933918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174514679571387,0.13042741334324168,0.0,0.2802676215158593,0.0,0.0,0.12964546790512013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077957864638487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615227020900415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502965953719102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309737757391714,0.0,0.1293253186535005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098634537502632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755427911197983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071844931526348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340122663407687,0.0,0.11844046222530807,0.0,0.14936856401051718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213099349544212,0.15002967975267334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587907035367338,0.10211364614004474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311018285681222,0.09138682053490894,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fvckity,2018/01/04,"Relapse. Tips? I used to do pot for anxiety but my parents turned me in (authorities subjected me to bi-weekly urine tests, reduced to monthly in December). That triggered the initial relapse. But following that, a series of events grandly fucked me over, it snowballed and pushed me deeper into my relapse. I've been in it for 8 months. 

The past 3 months I've been living in my room and sleeping for 12-15 hours. I'm 8kg from my original weight. I shut off from everyone, I mean I do want to socialise but I'm too emotionally exhausted to deal with people. Previously I was 18 months SH clean but I relapsed recently. If I'm not distracted my mind wanders to a dark place and  I start breaking down. I tried to OD in October. 


I'm diagnosed with BPD and depression. I'm at a loss. I've been in an out of relapse for 4 years and this has by far been the longest and worst. 
Any tips on getting my shit together? ",1.837165991902836,4.177521791208793,3.7710641989589355,85.08709369577794,81.08791208791209,7.348062463851937,28.260266049739734,8.371475516178862,2.2993472527472534,714,34,142,16,19,241,111,182,0.159,0.784,0.056,-0.9723,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,2,1,7,0,8,7,3,3,0,22,21,11,1,2,6,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,5,10,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,5,1,18,1,31,16,1,31,0,2,0,1,2,17,2,1,11,83,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421399520687907,0.0,0.12848380561526532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115312867584043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315246512876425,0.1446579208541235,0.17046905193587816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892484311079416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048656416856974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527010839715993,0.08774866096615501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540015707115438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830583035506864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295036783072344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958494278432326,0.0,0.5362348484702159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649225039768272,0.0,0.16033041771119347,0.11643766261135265,0.0,0.1754754389298231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658336098690478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240163658326949,0.0,0.0,0.16807458186071828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887820170058805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402925781185015,0.1826849483484234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450577155734472,0.0,0.0,0.09906320078484236,0.0,0.13472199685124628,0.20452185791055408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815641091020706
mentalhealth,pandagirl917,2018/01/04,"Feeling really emotionally detached I don't know what happened. I used to feel emotions so strongly. I used to be vivacious and bubbly, but now all I feel is emptiness. I don't want to be an outcast, but I want to be alone and not talk to anyone most of the time. I can't seem to find the motivation or the right things to say to make smalltalk or have good conversations. I push people away and make snarky remarks, causing my friendships to slowly deteriorate. Even in the beginning of my descent to unfeeling nothingness, certain things would make my heart skip a beat with joy, like seeing friends, watching a really cute scene on tv, hugs, certain songs that I absolutely loved. Now the only things that seems to make me feel anything at all are panic attacks, puppies, and playing piano. I feel like everyone picks on me for fun but instead of fighting back I just let it happen because I can't seem to care enough to stop them. What happened? It's easy for me to act lighthearted and laugh at jokes and crack some jokes myself, smile all the time, but when I'm tired of trying or ADD causes me to daydream and my facade slips, I get really quiet and antisocial. I have a hard time encouraging friends because I find it hard to even motivate myself. Why is this happening? I want to feel something other than stressed or rejected or disappointing. ",6.98129411764706,7.3155496392156865,7.004705882352942,75.12117647058827,64.37254901960785,9.937254901960783,35.03921568627451,9.725611199111238,3.3369686274509798,1078,46,194,20,15,345,147,255,0.14800000000000002,0.573,0.279,0.9934,0,2,1,0,2,0,27.0,0,0,1,4,10,25,2,2,10,0,14,4,1,11,5,56,43,19,0,4,11,0,8,2,2,1,1,3,0,0,12,10,0,1,14,5,0,2,6,6,0,0,0,13,27,19,31,38,6,18,0,2,2,2,9,7,0,10,11,128,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387392172167063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012761644721321,0.0,0.08253308650750169,0.0,0.0,0.11409844785336387,0.0942291378368754,0.07711958696906232,0.0,0.12227609426435165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225600852108893,0.20605830687973226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256335997217945,0.0,0.10363009806019516,0.0,0.13248595265493449,0.0,0.0,0.09583483194717086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042687432040541,0.07164976725111859,0.0,0.0,0.1833330652483328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497317178255854,0.0,0.052399266074684016,0.0,0.0,0.08412151254448909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35475719390937444,0.0,0.17968673028251292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884839785235406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511873917228021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255700019969616,0.0,0.097996773009569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905188889295736,0.0,0.26778702482132183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627780153361803,0.0,0.11767292910450555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695309534881658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927519432824434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565018565378202,0.0,0.07975749551073627,0.0,0.0,0.07992101344279134,0.27391057762478616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721091250469682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384993971462228,0.11488597893555175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061219591884762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989183227166124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544601256033904,0.11527273840428945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809277035790295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324293615034414,0.0,0.0,0.1774672898360327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904993735345993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124569525109306,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uniquename98,2018/01/04,"I really need someone to help me with what I’m going through before I do something terrible Long story short I was diagnosed with harm ocd, severe anxiety, and depression. When it first started I was terrified of it all I cried, had panic attacks all that. I was always a very nice, loving person.As of late it’s the complete opposite. I’m tricking my brain into wanting the things I didn’t want to happen. I used to do rituals to release anxiety but now I know that rituals are just useless and don’t mean anything so I don’t do them anymore. Instead I’ll be like “if you don’t do this you won’t get to kill this person” as if i wanted to and then it feels like I want to do it but I don’t do it because I’m nervous of what It feels like I’m becoming. It’s really hard to explain I’m sorry. And every time I start to feel depressed, sad, worried, anxious I will tell myself “I’m not actually feeling this way I just want to deny what I actually am” this is all very knew and I have no idea if I’m anxious, scared, pleased whatever. This is all very new and just the worst thing. I think I am honestly losing my mind like actually. It feels like any day now I’m going to act on these brutal thoughts. This is very hard for me to explain but my thoughts feel so unusual. Please if anyone can help me understand, I’d like to say I’m really worried but maybe I’m not. I feel like this is a complete new thing that no one has heard of and that I’m the only one that has ever gone through this. Slowly turning myself into what i feared the most. ",1.3710842293906822,3.308869391975307,3.6367463162086833,87.60439068100361,80.3888888888889,6.6497809637594605,24.64914376742334,7.717688229018142,1.334762763839108,1209,46,255,20,31,416,152,324,0.245,0.622,0.133,-0.9907,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,2,10,26,4,4,7,0,29,3,1,1,5,55,73,20,1,10,13,0,9,7,0,2,1,2,0,1,30,11,0,0,17,0,0,4,10,16,0,3,10,11,33,10,26,60,6,23,2,5,0,1,12,4,0,5,21,164,63,0,0.0,0.0,0.23897695543942804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792259727722244,0.0,0.0,0.05551111587841474,0.0,0.1248932656473457,0.184437053010738,0.08095490383477474,0.0570775083070013,0.0,0.06717443383064797,0.0,0.0,0.09286577007887352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976081563655192,0.0901537863173091,0.06946101339119494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112593986315462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117474688014572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966658734257607,0.05264451788838278,0.0,0.1406153876802682,0.08285260732325808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383889755838167,0.06877669242512273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185630659575293,0.2889216312188964,0.2332656030623124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943433206413499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264824182224718,0.0,0.0927842810399582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218503104826204,0.0,0.1462486729187214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942957235068683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921501956259244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031136493344287,0.0,0.04486164584454919,0.0,0.09208205731849484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791616438872057,0.0,0.0,0.07223987280685265,0.0,0.0913229527601912,0.0,0.0,0.07367415144798607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200818370664076,0.08891886716907536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242290616910238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060527519805815826,0.0,0.15767728863153266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062903512515897,0.062083200189073186,0.0,0.09577507305595148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255212076829846,0.0,0.1792101849109194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568825692539491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491535493704312,0.08172574778154379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092218526505369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916473027020494,0.06284266774124922,0.0,0.09137796467641704,0.11555609482123158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134811087975834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269379019284844,0.05230512940434698,0.0,0.12961000910985412,0.04759903799516132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878986606363587,0.0,0.08497958126480533,0.0,0.07050200497470004,0.0,0.2694127914969382,0.2407370834061691,0.06479399716718835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579820593190733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nifteee,2018/01/04,"Is there any way to help someone who doesn't want help? I have a sister in her mid 30s. She's been demonstrably paranoid schizophrenic for three or four years now, and she moved in with me over one year ago. I asked her to seek therapy and she's been seeing a psychiatrist for the past half year, but her paranoia is getting worse, she stopped taking meds because she says they make her nauseous, and she refuses to talk to me about what she discusses with her doctor. She also said she stopped seeing her doctor last month because the doctor moved to another country, but I don't believe her. She refuses to talk to me about anything remotely serious, cutting me off and saying she has the right to not answer my questions. She's been unemployed for one and a half years now. She's been teaching herself photoshop during her stay, hoping that she can find a job in graphic design. She leaves the apartment once a week tops, using my second car. She has no friends. She is afraid of public transit and also thinks it's beneath her. She believes our neighbors and the police are watching us with cameras even though she hasn't talked with any of our neighbors even once.

I know I'm not the warmest person in the world, but I don't know how to talk to her. I'm probably going to give up on her if she hasn't found a job by the time my lease ends in a couple months. I'm going to find a new place that she doesn't have the keys to, and she'll have to fend for herself.

Are some people unsalvageable? I feel like she's at the point already, if not way beyond it.",5.927731332618794,5.854902739549838,5.98370310825295,82.93599767774204,66.62057877813504,8.711754197927831,31.104144337263307,8.167268648758528,2.081111325473384,1236,43,247,14,18,391,159,311,0.075,0.862,0.063,0.193,4,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,3,0,1,1,12,6,1,1,18,0,22,4,0,3,0,40,43,18,0,4,9,1,1,1,3,1,4,3,2,1,6,12,0,4,9,0,0,5,10,3,0,7,6,7,53,3,39,36,1,44,0,0,3,0,62,19,0,6,18,172,59,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513163454161454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059800001310416,0.15360264255448874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306178709354013,0.10070391168322324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903085165382198,0.0,0.08978229387943178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170873921664904,0.0,0.0,0.21640322182927174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626389846302726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948959942186547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506090476857141,0.0,0.0,0.1268640022269822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048559551335953764,0.0686093585769307,0.0,0.0,0.1755534525122177,0.0,0.0,0.10530039102383734,0.07419849582601293,0.0,0.050175739199346384,0.09212812162852192,0.10916088655338843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874410405588804,0.0,0.0,0.09538711474762594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906052148587417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555962664680536,0.0782835509063708,0.0,0.10169006719625456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469191736187436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641059165754955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667624466870347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331276631571802,0.20414577221124228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275381790661326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455405173931496,0.13015527433582774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916788602381292,0.06658045522110168,0.0838564232471212,0.10033896543480712,0.0,0.09078667723917777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354489369786904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075842134646798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201567883822085,0.09135385377704744,0.15274608191022745,0.0,0.0,0.1530592402320069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137243927417034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023634196867241,0.0,0.16058365019866072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220840520983103,0.30876589095318585,0.0,0.0,0.1098274901358345,0.0,0.0,0.0615370861645122,0.09435656158981193,0.0,0.056000360496435364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552153924725996,0.08294574555700115,0.0,0.0,0.05664552908391277,0.15246052660713072,0.0770356573421738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787063031341156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24738054378566704
mentalhealth,Neaaaa,2018/01/04,Mental Health group I have a mental health group I just started on Facebook and I would love for some of you to Join! Let me know if you're interested I'll post the link!,0.7325000000000017,2.9611616944444457,2.0144444444444467,96.65000000000002,84.83333333333334,4.711111111111111,17.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.5676999999999999,135,3,31,1,4,43,29,36,0.0,0.736,0.264,0.8652,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5973216888723961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441524950976865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28731362532279675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535888343838709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5663087983218023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269094181466058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988739253573664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959494672598035,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plantlover26,2018/01/04,"I've taken about 10 different anti depressants but I don't think I'm depressed... Every time I go to the doctors to explain my issues they put me on another anti depressant. They keep switching them around and I feel like they do nothing but make me feel sick and that's it. I have had these issues for as long as I can remember. 

I'm easily frustrated. I just broke my phone with my hands on New Years because uber was taking too long. I lay in bed for hours and hours and have no desire to do anything. I am not sad though. I always feel like things will get better. I don't feel hopeless or anything like that I just feel bored a lot or frustrated. All the anti depressants haven't worked. The only thing that has ever helped me was vyvance (idk how to spell it) that was given to me in college and Wellbutrin worked for about 6 months at helping me get out the bed but then it stopped. It's starting to affect my friendships. I don't get invited out as much anymore because I blow them off to lay in bed. My doctor told me that I should start working out and that would help and I'm like ""yea duh"" but I gotta be able to get out of the bed first. 

Has anyone ever experienced this? Any medication worked or you? I have another dr apt coming up and would like things to suggest. Can I get prescribed vyvance  for this?",1.5806023454157767,3.859500652985077,2.9368869936034123,91.05432835820896,81.64925373134328,5.7688699360341165,22.257995735607675,7.021680442328713,0.6860891257995738,1037,34,215,13,28,336,141,268,0.139,0.7140000000000001,0.147,0.5091,1,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,1,5,6,10,16,2,0,6,2,23,6,1,3,3,46,49,21,0,4,10,0,6,5,0,5,5,0,4,0,16,15,0,2,8,0,0,3,6,10,0,1,7,7,34,6,33,36,3,31,0,7,0,0,13,13,0,4,20,141,50,7,0.09852605712178036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198157228319589,0.0,0.0,0.0670010974452716,0.2066263230747227,0.0,0.0,0.09771137392349666,0.0688917099844815,0.0,0.162157100094192,0.08770907957551995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012113987127515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713829088910931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848714741171054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33944139450937466,0.0,0.0,0.10293875948996452,0.0,0.2016911887413025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824491877974624,0.08301245251909928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490886742877617,0.14077406978847393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380621385572676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573789916654341,0.0,0.055994628796185164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811981774573945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405663940420814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567121152374407,0.0,0.08757448656871006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406742738316245,0.0,0.0,0.1743849202371388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376333043979291,0.0,0.0,0.0657669081961603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925463708327203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864255880119024,0.0,0.07242798853793768,0.0,0.0,0.09515707992293773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453840907080334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493350619528542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904590048696743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116108162120036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947450068325826,0.0,0.0,0.08237219545860623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407933323647972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636900317996112,0.06313151909581598,0.09680135087803383,0.0,0.05745133623327307,0.0,0.0,0.09414586982128037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869125720973319,0.0,0.0,0.13998016825726867,0.0,0.0,0.0634475504827552
mentalhealth,fluffy_lulu,2018/01/04,"How do I get rid of my mental health stigma? I've had quite a few anxiety issues in the past and present, which I have taken care of myself through the help of doctors. I have managed to move on with my life and am currently in my last year of studying at University and am seeking work again after breaking my foot twice in the last 9 months, which has flared up my anxiety again due to quitting my hospitality job. I don't want to go back to being a server in a very ungrateful industry, but it is all I know how to do. Also, I have had numerous arguments with my family who seem to take pleasure in telling me how to run my life (I'm an adult and moved out of home when I was 19) at any given chance, and have no problem in telling all their close friends about all the things I said to them in confidence. Now, every time I have a problem or just want to talk or have a serious issue, they tell me to leave them alone and go and find help and that its the anxiety talking and not me. To make things worse, I had a re-evaluation at the doctors whom I told about this, who kept talking about my high intelligence (?) and she sent me back to see someone. I accidentally took my healthcare plan home and flicked through it, not knowing what it was, and noticed that she wrote that I had problems that are not true, as I don't tick the boxes for the so called ""illness"" that she wrote down for me. Now I'm worried that whoever I see won't believe my point of view because it is written on paper which is dated and stamped by a professional GP. I have no idea how to deal with this situation and the stigma attached to mental health problems. ",10.63330321285141,5.8876332740963875,10.127710843373496,71.72923694779115,61.13855421686747,13.355823293172689,42.72690763052209,10.317481424215053,4.1325232931726905,1285,50,272,19,12,420,175,332,0.147,0.774,0.079,-0.9534,2,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,4,4,17,9,0,0,17,0,26,8,1,5,4,49,51,25,0,6,7,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,2,1,22,19,0,1,5,0,0,7,8,5,0,1,16,4,40,4,48,33,4,44,0,0,3,0,27,18,0,3,18,194,62,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990995191265062,0.0,0.0765182686720168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506823825023952,0.0,0.21959344456680072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714981117872697,0.0,0.0583279322731905,0.0,0.0,0.1078028319958638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770381751764616,0.0,0.09755597077954296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864575557668727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195872766602262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061769499613831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902021337271394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874532236049572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739250359792519,0.0,0.049990815639915365,0.0,0.10875857220756688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341472599388666,0.0,0.0,0.1282696154213871,0.10109514633128402,0.19195722664106266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801531889445168,0.0,0.19973797300221435,0.0949513680122717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051705848069994,0.15599007103613494,0.0,0.10131528668509954,0.0,0.0,0.13516853943883053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386965310508343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285345097047946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637386472459108,0.203393389417436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108936595473889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134097620432438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045208136133163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662257455527833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203542914396821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101716756020717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249513774026166,0.08710690189405154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755255575190152,0.0,0.0,0.08107253973406829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194227987664584,0.2307209466692221,0.2508954722292209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271360775775619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579397019391728,0.0,0.0,0.09142993355908716,0.1063081785356152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789491231953483,0.1128735220026907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965891720455586,0.0971715033496072,0.0975099264033125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161720462233064
mentalhealth,hanbananthesopran,2018/01/04,"Counseling just didn't work for me Hi friends, I just want to know if anyone else feels like this. 

So I've been really struggling with my mental health for almost two years now. I've never been diagnosed and I've never taken medication for mental illness because my family doesn't believe that mental illness is real illness... Anyway, since I went to college where they offer free counseling services for students, I went to counseling about 5 times, but I absolutely hated it. It didn't help me at all, and I honestly felt really uncomfortable talking to the counselor about what was going on in my head. I usually left my appointments feeling even worse. 

My problem is that I don't know how else to help myself. I can't just dump all of my problems on my friends - that's not fair to them. I'm running out of ideas and I just keep feeling worse and worse. 
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mentalhealth,Palabrad0r,2018/01/04,"Help with family member who has abused/attempted suicide with pills, but keeps getting them prescribed by doctors? Apologies if my post breaks guidelines, completely new here, may even need to be redirected to a different subreddit for which I'd also be grateful. 

My mother has attempted suicide in the past with pills, in combination with alcohol, around 10 times now. She's been much better in recent years, new job, no pills that I know of, and only a casual drinker now (unless things have changed in the last few weeks).

I just found out that a new doctor prescribed her Klonopin, which is literally one of the pills that she's used in a previous attempt. Was always painkiller- or anxiety-oriented stuff. 

The meat of my question is: how can I as a family member work towards getting her red flagged, advising these doctors or even legally preventing them, something, anything that would prevent her from getting more and more pills so easily?

I've done lots of googling and found little on the subject. A million thanks for any info you can provide. ",10.259550827423169,9.304664765957453,8.87581560283688,68.63277777777779,58.255319148936174,12.18534278959811,43.22931442080379,11.20814326018867,5.002303073286053,848,42,136,18,9,260,127,188,0.066,0.815,0.119,0.8618,2,0,3,0,1,2,27.0,0,1,2,4,10,3,0,0,11,0,14,9,0,2,0,29,24,12,2,3,6,1,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,10,9,1,3,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,1,14,3,25,15,5,23,0,0,1,0,14,10,0,6,11,98,24,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551119793049451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140233343776277,0.10550819396129224,0.0,0.0,0.08622870467103931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434602735989228,0.11287934986234965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214475937134648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413814151599213,0.0,0.13294793720411793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324795597342818,0.0,0.3893571287305528,0.0,0.12976096051815905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750110077703986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390724986265159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780604600064263,0.0,0.0,0.19874412127929866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499171857014172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258299546847068,0.11270613209312615,0.0,0.0,0.06968625201228544,0.10335935111121447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708743699999572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780127129492724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321297518531907,0.09402098205407618,0.0,0.3673942094188433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592331686092733,0.09643751254905386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104544818313295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214398513373324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204560683277262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520022037605086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761723848731928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515626351635735,0.27739838596186184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674088654952793,0.0,0.0,0.08424063399649193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393840539794165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095149407371842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171173207045928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923122918471504,0.0,0.0,0.09007545434847378,0.0,0.0,0.08165538030399015
mentalhealth,r3rider,2018/01/04,"[f/26] Why do I feel like I'm just not there when I'm around other people? I've had this for awhile and I'm not entirely sure if everyone feels this way or what sometimes. It happens a lot when I'm at work for the most part, but it's kind of like a tired feeling (probably am just tired) but it's different than just being tired...it's like I feel foggy and hazy mentally. It just feels like I'm mentally uncomfortable. 

I feel that way a lot when I don't necessarily want to be around other people. I am a pretty big introvert. I guess the best way to describe it is I just feel shut down or on stand by mode. It's weird. Not sure if this is just part of being an introvert, or I could be dissociating. I feel like that could be the correct term, but not sure what it means entirely. 

Thanks for any responses. ",1.817061143984219,3.561661278106513,3.6761893491124265,88.77329783037477,78.23076923076924,7.583589743589744,21.917554240631162,8.447377352677275,1.111745246548323,632,18,143,13,15,213,82,169,0.101,0.725,0.175,0.9445,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,12,12,0,0,8,0,14,2,0,0,4,42,32,13,0,5,18,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,16,4,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,8,9,11,14,24,7,15,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,9,9,91,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665139621366629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006839788130551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828949263435405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999063713166194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177652298285662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077058831080458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559446431339735,0.2415750505157165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417043632129406,0.0,0.0996752331135835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737736570663458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27533905899038635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165585265111004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278181064087447,0.0,0.0,0.22718436335498396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441229612024929,0.0,0.15628749164845665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467366808239475,0.1215279443141833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147995296465436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187031949998093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377463030878524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591031222334869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648338182898607,0.2684084225585104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170952198927163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205928738883184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheKiraOfJustice,2018/01/04,"Can someone please give an unofficial diagnosis? Hi, thanks for reading

I’ve been experiencing some extreme mood swings for the past two months, from feelings of intense joy and happiness to feeling extremely depressed the next day. 

Normally I would just write this off as teenage hormonal angst, but the changes are so sudden and out of nowhere that it feels like I’m helpless.

If any more information is required I’d be happy to give, but this has turned into an extremely hard trial and I don’t know what else to do

Thanks for reading ",7.5630303030303025,8.30112888888889,7.055101010101013,73.8693181818182,63.141414141414145,10.236363636363636,38.72222222222222,10.125756701596842,4.0148101010101005,436,22,76,9,6,136,78,99,0.07400000000000001,0.722,0.204,0.9102,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,9,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,19,19,8,0,3,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,2,6,13,16,2,8,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,2,6,45,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135281167268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877751541802554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150861438076786,0.0,0.1536996004261533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907292731080038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27069058985486955,0.12748544300629952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423729544412185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799288541592909,0.1598570608899081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807201266543003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718215354787237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424379001471416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897846822609809,0.0,0.17484410902600336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035168895603714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588563006871068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569986190141854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120096856376836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285874436823037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410346422260735,0.17432071476322705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267664832677542,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goodvybes420,2018/01/05,"What is wrong with me? - a genuine question. Sometimes I get this mental ""high"" that will come and go at the slightest sound, word, sight. I was walking in the park one day and it was 21 degrees outside - not a day for thinking it's beautiful outside. I look up at the trees and I get this overwhelming feeling of ecstatic happiness. I feel unstoppable and I realize I don't need those fake friends who say they care but their actions show otherwise. I feel like I am a creative genius, and I don't need anyone else in order for the world to realize I'm brilliant and beautiful and perfect - I already know I'm better than everyone else. I tell myself that I must DEMAND the best treatment from everyone, and they're not treating how I should be treated. I looked it up and I'm not sure if this feeling is euphoria (?).


The other piece of this is that at other times, I also feel an inexplicable rush of anger, hatred, jealously, and it feels like I'm restraining myself from lashing out and being extremely violent. Sometimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and I'll get this rush. Other times my little sister will do something silly, and I get the feeling, then I react in an extreme way. But I don't feel bad about feeling violent - it doesn't even feel like violence, it feels like something more romantic, like justice or retribution. Like whoever I'm feeling these feelings of digust for, they truly deserve it. It's either this gutwrenching hatred for other people or for myself. 


But, last night, I got this incredible feeling of self-hatred and loathing. Not unusual, but more extreme than the norm. Usually, I just feel sad and depressed, but everything started making sense - I am totally alone. God may still be there somewhere, but he doesn't know what I'm feeling. My friends have abandoned me after I asked for fair treatment. My family is broken. I can't even organize your thoughts or decide how I feel about anything. My mind is a mess and even during the good periods, it feels like it's going to explode. I began harming myself, something I hadn't done since about freshman year, but this time I drew blood. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I had nothing else to do.


I'm writing on here now because I have nowhere to turn. I don't think it's hormones, because usually I know the difference. Between the highs and lows, my brain feels crowded and about to burst, and sometimes I can barely think straight because I can't decide between anything. I alternate between two extremes and I don't know where my mind is. I think this condition is interfering with my friendships, I think it caused me to break up with my first boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me or how to fix it. I just want to feel like a normal teenager, with normal interests and problems. Is it all in my head? I have no clue. I just want it all to stop. ",4.792883211678834,6.224183142335768,5.364313868613138,81.0043175182482,69.76642335766422,8.107737226277372,32.313138686131374,8.548686976883017,2.642464817518248,2254,102,412,36,40,725,244,548,0.151,0.645,0.204,0.9708,0,1,3,0,0,0,74.0,0,1,3,4,19,37,4,1,19,0,42,3,3,6,6,115,102,39,0,11,21,1,20,8,2,6,0,2,0,0,38,28,0,3,37,1,0,7,17,16,0,3,10,26,66,21,51,83,8,50,0,5,4,0,15,21,0,7,27,282,104,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254248576375679,0.06663830629285164,0.04829128104020143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222383617177912,0.061873385744020924,0.09938633879185577,0.0,0.05645348171178185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05042043360861887,0.11043365011192052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337219333769742,0.05340719398051499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741161045583463,0.0,0.0,0.061568340264701614,0.0620338508016534,0.0,0.05201785845619581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788894661292381,0.0,0.05201103962622141,0.0,0.0,0.06309132575471732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359327048967672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133620207329213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965468334806792,0.0,0.0,0.1154043000087772,0.05427173836062919,0.0,0.05692727587596514,0.0,0.6106673431529721,0.2588419388046284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136495878558392,0.0,0.0,0.0933093429931878,0.0,0.12619838735995387,0.0,0.06863839011463904,0.050649560674494,0.04829681929409495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428284339723422,0.0,0.0,0.0619742513102968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760388356956406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659349576323629,0.04922328020891192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360154186636981,0.06052341133365041,0.0,0.0,0.15212904310899447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040308640296846165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608556646799433,0.0,0.12194685402758575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955205495021208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666889632242604,0.11833243362700956,0.057942737920795136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091964062132796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186458541852486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057781986934560825,0.0,0.0,0.06764700660757025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048021986123707235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299657474305251,0.0,0.0,0.049952563151366036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946606567154093,0.1791721895635655,0.0,0.042742069171437136,0.0,0.048224955411144334,0.050486046680180016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056913819480993465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278070179148507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346703109690144,0.0,0.047940352979686664,0.1056360399317984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568346919105618,0.058989103277321736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301499950852438,0.0,0.07123536728716773,0.047932210120084966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320469145398959,0.0,0.03888710234784433
mentalhealth,suhdoop,2018/01/05,"i have a hard time listening and i also have a hard time getting along with people im 32. anyone relate? im 32 years old and lately i have been thinking more and more about how much of a bad listener i am. with my wife im very ""in and out"" of the convo and miss a lot of stuff she says with others outside of my relationship im completely not listening. i also have a tendency to lash out at people i feel are threatening me or speaking badly about me. thinking before i speak isn't a strong point either. i dont have a lot of friends and i don't work. i have a lot of self hate as well. just kind of wondering what this stems from and if anyone else can relate. being very short would be happy to go into any specifics if anyone is curious",2.5116666666666703,3.6594903949044593,4.469187898089174,86.32356953290872,74.9872611464968,7.526326963906581,23.274416135881104,8.07648339933343,1.1400492569002116,580,16,125,9,12,199,92,157,0.13699999999999998,0.789,0.07400000000000001,-0.8226,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,1,0,9,0,17,0,0,1,0,29,28,14,0,3,6,1,3,0,1,1,0,6,0,1,4,14,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,1,9,15,5,22,24,7,13,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,7,5,90,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503216758262715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292398512780244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557917117185302,0.12494284969668396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036310954136549,0.0,0.0,0.1037627140126232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785270067020954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291381214813353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186596451198472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061656976705536236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421122730479303,0.0,0.06370908086843421,0.0,0.06930181657583225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980834237654826,0.21847016739198052,0.12039138104657413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.526868335259144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698266970983385,0.0,0.0,0.1375546326314343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110093460775744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964058311526127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279564489151352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690769154027166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527355359983532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091887822430062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697228820180416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721094013006606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959314224837824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626959408756586,0.0,0.0,0.14220942441343626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122800597509666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096395025020781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223969099778735,0.08877441851237071,0.0,0.0,0.0866233079259227,0.0,0.0,0.07852593365243138
mentalhealth,asdffdsfaqwex,2018/01/05,"Father's mental health, lies, and delusion is tearing the family apart. My dad refuses to admit that there is something wrong with him and declines getting him help. Sadly we can not force him to get help. I am looking for any help/advice/tips in regards to getting my dad help. This has been a long time coming and I am the only one who realizes he needs help and actually want him to get better rather than buying his bull and feeding his lies/addiction. There is so much more to explain, and so much more that I am leaving out, and I am sorry if I am all over the place.

TLDR My dad has had opioid addiction problems for 20 years and is miserable to be around. No one is interested in getting him actual help for his erratic/unnecessary behavior and are more concerned about the drama that he stirs up to create a smoke screen from the fact that he has problems. He has torn our family apart with lies and if something isn't done soon it is only going to get worse. 



My dad is literally Game of Thrones and starts drama, lies, and creates sides and wedges between the family. He is no fun to be around and literally just is a shell of himself. He used to be my idol and was so fun/funny. Now he just creates scenes in public and yells at millennials. He causes a scene and tries to get people(millenials) fired constantly. It's sad and sick. I've been the only person that didn't take sides since the drama he caused started, and tried my best to get him help. That fell on deaf ears. He drinks upwards of 3 5 hour energies a day.

He did all the top cancer drugs and everything(a dying dude had terrible cancer used to sell my dad his pills), also taking like 3 Xanax a day at 140 pounds or less(he looks like a skeleton now), all while drinking beer(which he stopped thank God, but the damage was done). That is when the dementia and him repeating himself got worse, that is also where I got the worst mental abuse as a 24 year old. Sometimes he will go in his room after he yells at us for two hours, and will literally yell for 10 hours. I am not exaggerating - he will do it a whole day. He never blames himself for anything.


I have been trying to get him help for the longest time, no one else will. He yells every day, belittles me and everyone who doesn't agree with even the tiniest point on his ""fox news"" agenda. He turns it into a full blown fight. He brings up the past constantly(usually ""poor me"" things that he created himself - literally the same stories since I've been born 31+ years). 

I am old enough to know and more than sick of this to just distance myself from the family(extended as well), since they don't want to support me and would rather say things / spread drama to bring me down / not step up and tell my dad he needs help. Me moving away is well under way. But I am wondering if there is literally anything that I can do to with someone that doesn't think anything is wrong with him?

---so more of the story---

A few years ago. He started calling the cops on me whenever he'd go extra insane. I would be asking him to stop yelling(usually at my mom) and eventually he'd belittle me and then push me and hit me. I'd overpower and restrain him, or push him away(I am much stronger now, he used to be a bad ass). That is when he would call the cops. He would literally lie and say he didn't touch me first and leave out every other detail.. Well anyways, that plan backfired on him. The cops came and so did the ambulance. We wanted to get him in the ambulance for a mental health evaluation, but he was so sure that he was fine and was so stubborn that he chose going with the cops and went to jail and not the ambulance. He called his other family and that is when the shit hit the fan.

He told his brothers and sisters(and parents who are still living) that we were always close with. Lied to them and they turned against us. I did my best to talk to my aunt and did salvage a lot since she never really realized how much of a liar and how fucked up he really was. I just told her the truth and it came pouring out the more she hung out with him. Still she won't back me up to get me help, but my recent bouts with researching and trying acid, I need an intervention.

My parents were apart for a good two years. We told my mom and dad to not get back together, but they eventually they reconciled. My little brother has still not talked to our dad and his relationship with the other family is almost nonexistent since this point. They used to hang out every weekend.



Now to recently, I have moved back home for a few months to save up money for my future. In that time my dad wakes up at 4:30am, yells on his phone at whoever will listen, causes drama, tells everyone I am a loser with no job(which I quit being what he was 10 years ago because it made him miserable and I didn't want to do it because I felt it was doing the same to me). He doesn't close the door while he yells on the phone and is loud so I hear him say things like that constantly. I then turn more fans on to drown out that noise and get a little more sleep. Then my mom gets up at 6. He proceeds to go up there and belittle her and yell loud as he can about the same things he's been yelling about for years. Finally we talked our mom in to moving out, which is great for her, except for the fact that my dad is now making my brother's life miserable. He is bringing my aunt back into the mix, and she does not get along with my mom any more, so now another shit show is well in tune. My older brother said that he will do all of the mediating and everything, and me and my other brothers are very competent. My aunt wants to be involved and maybe she thinks she's helping, but in my estimation it's going to make things worse. He is now planning on getting the same lawyer that took over 10k from him last time. He says he trusts my brother, but then says that he needs to protect himself. My mom only left because he is unbearable to be around. I also noticed he hasn't taken her out on a date ever, since I can remember.

My dad's biggest complaint is that my mom steals all his money. The problem is. My dad has spent so much money and bought so many new cars it's incredible(probably 7 including before he was like this). And every time he buys a new car he says he deserves it and more so that he's never had a new one. So in the last two years he's bought two new cars, 35k and 50+k. He gets $3000 every month from his disability pension and he spends it all, then lies and says my mom is robbing him and taking all his money. My mom does have investment accounts and literally doesn't buy anything, but stuff for the house. He is completely against getting a brain scan, his doctor has no idea what to do with him and just prescribes him pain meds(he does have back problems, but does not work out, stretch, or do anything to help it).

My question is are there any channels that I can take where I can actually get him help? How can we deal someone like this? How do we get him a brain scan? How do we get him a psychiatrist/therapist even-though he says he doesn't need one? I am getting myself out of the situation in a few months when I set myself up with some extra cash to buy a house and some other business stuff. The doctor he has doesn't know what to do, I am thinking that he should let him go and make my dad find another doctor.. He will have trouble, I am sure of it, he can't stay normal for long.
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mentalhealth,Chasingsuccess,2018/01/05,Could anyone with Medicaid help me? Hello I recently lost my mothers insurance and was going to therapy for depression and anxiety. I was able to get Medicaid so now Im lost on who to go to for mt meds? I cant see a psychiatrist because there is none in my area please help its getting bad IM in Philadelphia pa,2.36095238095238,4.527439936507938,5.174841269841268,76.66321428571429,78.2063492063492,9.914285714285716,29.54761904761905,10.125756701596842,3.6239333333333335,248,12,48,9,6,89,49,63,0.196,0.6940000000000001,0.109,-0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,12,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,4,1,6,0,10,7,1,8,0,3,1,0,6,4,0,0,2,30,8,0,0.2063141451520555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782975633467425,0.0,0.0,0.14425964733312768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226369345436618,0.12576718794603076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472505696913328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769807090438705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21558125107926795,0.0,0.2345061664025079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765760451597826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.445709360898558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504325220273595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22916850506924635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22647097640194855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037103284137277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644056621037688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359382054374157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,israelregardie,2018/01/05,"My girlfriend has psychosis, was sent home by A&E/ER I dont know what to do. My partner has periods of psychosis. She has delusions, stares at the wall for hours at a time, is apathethic, hear voices, is confused and unable to function on any high level.
She has been sectioned/put into psych care four times in the last three years, is on anti-psychotics etc etc.
I am losing my mind watching her like this, also, she believes I have gone behind her back, tried to poison her, etc.

Usually she is put in hospital for a week and is ""all better"". 

This time we got sent home from ER. They told her to go to work the next day. That is not gonna happen. And she'll lose her job for not showing up... She was told to call her boss and tell her she WOULD be in to work the next day. She said Ok. Now she's been sitting for three hours staring at the wall, more or less catatonic. 

It's torture to see a loved one like this and not get any help. But what can I do? 
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mentalhealth,SensitiveBugGirl,2018/01/05,"General questions about going to a psychologist/therapist? Hi! I have a couple questions regarding going to a psychologist. I've wanted to for a couple years, but due to money, haven't yet. 

How much do they cost per visit? My insurance requires me to pay out of pocket until the $2,700 deductible is met. I'd like some idea beforehand. 

I understand that it varies, but how often do people go on average? Once a week? Every other week?

Do they do payment plans or do you have to pay in full each time? 

Can you use a HSA to pay? 

Hopefully I can find a way to make it work so I can see one :/ thanks for your help!",1.1135888501742173,3.4904761138211424,3.4738269454123127,85.8053048780488,84.60975609756099,6.766318234610917,20.9808362369338,7.957251820313856,1.2232397212543562,474,15,95,10,14,163,84,123,0.064,0.809,0.127,0.8967,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,2,3,6,3,0,0,8,0,12,0,0,4,0,20,23,7,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,5,0,5,4,1,0,0,1,1,1,11,3,16,22,4,16,0,0,1,0,11,4,0,6,8,64,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048772274884454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414929521172946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672195264742273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31193630483047463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263232541710314,0.0,0.0,0.18171773817698866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065363600441256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938362513311815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212532263590352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449456133292245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194843400575402,0.12397650419917294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683945584876805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099077739394255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579316617153934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684423686174552,0.0,0.21242736009471055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668378924587918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046485222619733,0.0,0.15801624059917796,0.0,0.0,0.10791287114828736,0.14522287485904867,0.2935143902451617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331949889265484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117818410287024
mentalhealth,akromyk,2018/01/05,"Is there such a thing as mild Paranoid Schizophrenia? [x-post from /r/schizophrenia] I don't have delusion or any issues with movement but I do find my mind often time checks out while someone is talking and I used to think it might be some form of ADD but Adderall didn't help me. And now as I thought about it more today I realized a lot of the arguments I've gotten into with my wife are over some fictional prediction I've concocted of the worst case scenarios of what she might be doing. 

I've known her to drink or have dinner with friends behind my back, but I somehow escalate it in my mind instead of being realistic. She knows I get upset over being left out, but at the same time tend to hate social gatherings. Another thing that drives me nuts is when I immediately reply to a text of hers and she fails to respond. A reasonable person would realize she's probably busy but I start think it's some intentional attack on me. Like I'm somehow the center of the universe.

Then with my colleagues at work I often times think what they're talking about relates to me from pieces of conversations I overhear. I blamed it on past bullying but it's disturbing how often I feel like I'm the center of the universe and that the universe is trying to attack me.

Just wondering if this at all relates to Paranoid Schizophrenia. I've never thought it might be that before but I figured I'd ask. There are no family members with outright delusions in my family, but there is a lot of paranoia, fear, and mistrust of the outside world.

This might just be some undiagnosed aspergers or ocd issue, but I couldn't help but question this possibility. I also just discovered I have the T;T genotype of this:

https://www.snpedia.com/index.php/rs2237717

and A;G of:

https://www.snpedia.com/index.php/rs53576",6.087229729729732,7.7580202792792825,6.1569857357357325,75.63295608108109,66.92792792792794,8.793243243243245,31.59271771771772,9.188382445141503,2.8568519519519513,1455,59,250,27,24,461,173,333,0.188,0.782,0.03,-0.9954,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,2,20,11,3,3,15,0,26,2,0,4,2,72,43,27,0,3,17,1,1,2,1,5,0,0,0,1,18,15,2,0,15,1,1,2,5,8,0,0,4,1,34,3,45,27,12,30,0,1,0,0,20,16,0,21,14,192,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913492834678202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579696789725568,0.11687606154224275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420052934849737,0.2536048386719376,0.0,0.08570625096000771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484468324605408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091888648331446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015009529183865,0.12542405988466304,0.05635778209149873,0.07962740951548403,0.0,0.0,0.10187288545609363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611411234731256,0.0,0.058233515308097984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004417636501114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494192586696078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232671624968362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061255780506108866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110216857204895,0.0,0.0,0.10890794869270226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18951947685627835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729679420765935,0.2250866794528714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596521544760002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640166734555292,0.0,0.09732301675601801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565497604077125,0.10674835657545008,0.0,0.12017327992466892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486127841215193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459996641949735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361995182329555,0.09444012711608243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889232157286667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917546930404854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480988182539888,0.21425817973142366,0.0,0.17697438691702946,0.19498055647602636,0.0,0.1056515292859646,0.0,0.0,0.07567436878516727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962660923528188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087416683911514,0.08114457764794138,0.0,0.0,0.0791783472525599,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RiceKrispieLand,2018/01/05,"Do you think we'll ever have a objective way to diagnose mental illness? They say the right diagnosis is half of the cure, I was wondering if there are any objective ways to diagnose mental illnesses like a functional MRI?",9.498048780487805,8.56989404878049,10.248902439024393,58.095792682926856,59.73170731707317,16.00487804878049,42.45121951219512,14.554592549557764,6.862356097560976,180,9,29,8,2,62,35,41,0.146,0.795,0.058,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,0,1,4,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,1,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745920222956728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211714459756234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23223605299229355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543020871301047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.517467122471407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192545801852669,0.0,0.20416997419622776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645086425418582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075765662076461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784236073974901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smellsmell1,2018/01/05,Therapy/counselling for low self-confidence linked to work? Someone I know has recently started a demanding job that on paper is perfect. However the people they work with and the politics in the team make it difficult. Quitting anytime soon isn’t really an option. Any idea whether there is a type of counselling or therapy suitable for improving emotional resilience or self confidence?,8.25769230769231,10.870210153846159,7.8153846153846205,62.18461538461544,62.84615384615384,12.584615384615386,45.30769230769231,11.979248473330829,6.9986,320,21,41,12,5,101,53,65,0.093,0.74,0.16699999999999998,0.7399,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,5,2,3,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,1,1,11,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,7,0,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,3,27,4,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624997283434134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749991362968274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759801758091891,0.0,0.0,0.2426016560017377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343559264651758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318757629218333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948674469331293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26002704928751924,0.0,0.0,0.15661561631353954,0.0,0.24138752073081698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100771582132708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714111663151252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303919513120894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795760966059001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35595840318865285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Andez88,2018/01/05,How can i convice my sister to be open to visiting a counselor? My sister is having a hard time. We're not sure with what. She's been increasingly less open with everyone including her boyfriend (who she has described as her best friend whom she can tell everything to). There are things that she says she wants to do or rather things that she needs to do. She is not doing them. If we try to talk to her about it she gets angry. We don't expect her to tell us anything she doesn't want to. However it's not good to hold things up inside. We try to advise her to speak with a counselor at least yet that makes her angry as well. How can we convince her to be more open to a counselor?,2.3496808510638303,4.032903631205674,3.2194503546099327,92.90875,76.51773049645391,6.402127659574468,21.679078014184398,7.1686216300943375,0.4410184397163124,536,14,119,6,12,170,79,141,0.095,0.826,0.079,-0.1154,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,5,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,4,0,16,0,0,3,1,25,21,6,0,6,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,11,10,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,3,25,6,22,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,34,5,0,2,2,93,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758618321352714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22427126629824834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20420524473022614,0.19206517630667466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651087283584003,0.0,0.11165256655704883,0.0,0.0,0.1792464567130834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143860320192224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426504169417273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846029390422953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994759169419735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141537940552046,0.0,0.0,0.17176879075578302,0.3735769334606615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4259303188543121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461368935105648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901846969995161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25706200955671105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520986758589978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921473624093717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VTThrowaway28,2018/01/05,"First Contact with Therapist Hey mentalhealth-ers,

So I am writing this because I feel completely overwhelmed. I have motivational problems with cause me to procrastinate making life changes that I feel would probably be important for my long term mental health. Anyway, this post isnt about my issues, but more about how to handle the beginning of getting help.

Two days ago I reached out to a therapist who I feel fits my needs well. I had talked to my wife about this, but more in the I dont know what to do stage, and at that point I was just trying to figure out how to fix myself. I dont think I can without help. So this morning, I finally got the courage to tell her I was going to see a therapist. It was on the tip of my tongue for a couple days now. She of course, was worried that I needed to go because of our relationship. Sure its not perfect, but I love my wife, and dont see that as a problem in my life, although I am sure I will find some things I can work on to make our relationship even stronger.

Anyway, I find myself feeling much worse than I did before I made the decision to see a therapist. I am nervous, anxious and scared at what this means for me. I think now that someone else in my life knows that I am going to see somebody, it makes me feel like its real and I do actually need help. I guess I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I feel like I need help.

Anyway, onto the part where I would love to hear from all of you. Did you feel intensely unsettled after you first reached out for help, but prior to your first meeting? Did it feel similar to any of you when you told your SO? and did they have feelings that it was related to them even if its not? Did you feel better after your first session?

I would love to open a dialogue with anyone who has gone through this who wants to have a short back and forth just to talk through some things about the process of starting therapy.

TLDR: about to have first ever visit with a therapist. It was hard telling my wife. Now I feel overwhelmed at the idea of seeing someone for help. Can anyone share how they felt before and after therapy and how their SO reacted (if reason for therapy was not relationship issues).",5.048620352250488,5.5989623127853925,5.516650358773647,83.3725684931507,68.5662100456621,8.722896281800391,29.56979778212655,8.738905477910976,2.104207175472929,1735,61,353,27,28,557,195,438,0.098,0.77,0.132,0.9082,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,2,9,4,9,28,18,0,4,18,0,38,7,0,12,6,85,83,25,0,12,12,3,14,2,0,4,4,1,0,0,29,17,0,0,24,0,0,5,8,6,1,6,18,20,63,12,66,60,8,48,0,2,5,3,48,17,0,6,26,268,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.059948695408147235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544556933506408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177581438480915,0.0,0.0,0.06940058734482994,0.0,0.08590925816743943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047237356995289366,0.0,0.07489666041743663,0.0,0.10454808398256868,0.0,0.0,0.054331543882044836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310750735625438,0.06498682919189684,0.0,0.0644102027123209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797325459688629,0.0,0.07923701669049027,0.06333361538040058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159932695030667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051318489083991815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115041182641122,0.055568691602853465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34168008827001345,0.08777395645617869,0.05898428011000334,0.06729566912655803,0.11229532979281036,0.2612698125721177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03209564437701109,0.0,0.10473953300749124,0.0,0.04913272091766628,0.0,0.06767418933086948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006187350402163,0.0,0.0,0.06529926170412444,0.0692382422130806,0.0,0.2470591392583921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934916380395424,0.0,0.12823793466865244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752275684401003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017355239923573,0.060025069284880675,0.0,0.0,0.05436531890606055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633412752451116,0.05812837111920599,0.12301885734228984,0.0,0.0,0.0669173737796761,0.0,0.0,0.061908929670329474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515953201956845,0.1822039706871648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652478635768813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058073024001948234,0.0,0.05883480109948945,0.0,0.06623400348879192,0.11756410793168433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992297779196989,0.0,0.06316224854978164,0.0,0.19786468587116088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061504072035941236,0.0,0.24476644597026664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041021383923218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043481831448485705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579772124910867,0.0,0.0,0.09875330578003257,0.10738841724414228,0.0,0.21075827416601506,0.3566359886584207,0.08162528018765547,0.07872619178311584,0.0,0.0,0.035821448456138,0.0,0.0,0.0587008352506885,0.0,0.04170824337382506,0.0,0.060010062585268524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036234139965566986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552346766585145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921818178759195,0.0,0.044723171759973104,0.062387100013593925,0.06260437804440154,0.130918427077556,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nadosa,2018/01/05,"What the hell is this?! It has to be some kind of unknown neurosis... Hi,

so basically what I was going through (mentally) last year was just insane. First half Derealization/Depersonalization, second half Depression/OCD but feels like psychotic, because everything seems so surreal. I was diagnosed with OCD and adjustment disorder btw. OCD and not psychosis because I know those feelings and thoughts are somewhat strange.

So basically I recovered from Depersonalization last year...but as the symptoms slowly vanished, I still battled irrational thoughts from day to day when suddenly my mind switched to: ur life is over. I was overwhelmed, suddenly paranoid of time/the date, feeling like I shouldnt be here anymore as the time went on and feeling like trapped in this concept of time.

This feeling...it feels like I shouldnt be alive anymore since August, like I shouldnt have lived past August and should be dead until August. It just feels like it is wrong to be alive, everything feels so odd, when I go to the hairdresser for example, my mind goes like this: You are dead inside, you died, you dont need to do this, you are trapped in hell, you shouldve killed yourself as I told you! When I look in the mirror: ""Why are u still alive?"" It just cant make sense why I am still alive, and I am super overwhelmed, feeling insane, because I know something IS TERRIBLY WRONG IN MY ORGANISM.

You may ask yourself why ""August""? I dont know, I somehow wanted to be recovered and fine from mental health issues until August, I didnt know what would happen if I didnt recover until then, but my mind has adapted to my expectations and as the time went on without me recovering, my mind realized that and switched to this surreal psychotic limbo mode, so basically I guess false expectations triggered this mess in my mind.

I remembered when these thoughts sneaked in in the last week of July, I felt like after this week I would pass like a strange ""threshold"", like my old self had to die (idk it felt so strange, I just got very depressed, nervous and obsessed with the future and thought if I couldnt cope I may commit suicide, but I wasnt suicidal)

It felt like life after July was just black, I didnt want the future to come and felt like I was involuntarily pushed to experience this future pain, but then there was the 1st of August where I had these painful thoughts that I cant live anymore and got anxious. And this whole ""anticipation"" made me BELIEVE that this is destiny and I cant recover from it!

Furthermore I told my psychiatrist that I feared that I'll lose myself in time, which I know sounds strange but I definitely felt like there would be no future for me and honestly I keep questioning how I survived the last months, making me feel like I shouldnt be alive because the feelings were so surreal. I cant stop thinking that this shit is something supernatural and keep questioning if people had already commited suicide if they would have been in my shoes, what freaks me even more out.

But I have no clue how to get out of that hole at all. I am depressed and scared to death. I dont know, this is just a nightmare and I am 19.

Everytime I think about me as a person, I get a feeling of doom: who is ""I', why am I still alive? Etc. It is terrifying. The most terrible feeling is that I truly desire death and that it is the only option and THAT I WILL REGRET IT IN THE FUTURE NOT HAVING DONE IT.

I imagine myself in the future, at a fun event for example, having these feelings and it is freaking me out, feeling like I should do it right now. It is causing me a lot of pain. SURE THING IS THAT I TRULY DO NOT DESIRE THESE FEELINGS BUT CANT LET THEM GO EITHER :(

Unknown mental illness?!
",4.923739770867428,6.453699361702127,5.363882978723408,80.75394230769231,69.56737588652483,8.316693944353519,30.8626568466994,8.786649364141006,2.4850234588106934,2930,122,550,51,52,936,271,705,0.261,0.617,0.122,-0.9992,0,2,3,0,0,6,98.0,0,7,2,4,32,47,5,6,22,0,81,11,2,7,4,137,139,56,10,23,22,0,20,15,0,13,9,1,0,2,50,28,0,3,40,0,0,8,23,26,0,4,34,23,82,21,63,82,9,79,3,7,2,0,19,21,3,16,65,381,132,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05399707856497152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527861760866567,0.14558056853255866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04574430619321223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931264589477547,0.0,0.0,0.0551289948876192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050266084205443255,0.0,0.042150116743619535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631134823733069,0.0,0.08428918287931303,0.04966439794325567,0.10156625230402076,0.0,0.056079687914069684,0.0,0.0,0.050073868229816784,0.17204190638301506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054571507998671005,0.032318765271026964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795287524979703,0.04786435327686967,0.0,0.05506149186796381,0.3711182164547748,0.2446964941076655,0.2349093566688811,0.0,0.0,0.04162107156269698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112933248259281,0.0,0.08342662238380384,0.0,0.07826991083479046,0.0,0.05390351547617357,0.0,0.04326992503132458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201184969711045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107172737783447,0.0,0.08698505289399028,0.05413540637717513,0.05095458175365236,0.16134869162923607,0.1595426700664114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500357290706502,0.06912346903814318,0.3585815674130351,0.0,0.08641474440568406,0.0,0.04109009942254736,0.054741783195060484,0.0,0.0415997741714736,0.0,0.04630012687569232,0.06532425381253902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793419684492895,0.0,0.2470341093582468,0.0,0.03905662142633922,0.0,0.0,0.03628205469051635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051345332020912585,0.0,0.0,0.03721457730051903,0.15619955764626894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046710611557881435,0.03392291061539991,0.04272506009297554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962885864540503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542980114491103,0.04178719615315176,0.0,0.0,0.04898892371843736,0.0,0.0,0.04454535989720346,0.051046180267183695,0.0,0.0502274365235557,0.04047660613029948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753396509621024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630689619775906,0.040908888305838165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056921323275355,0.0,0.04611731829501005,0.05085851840865401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03250788518744241,0.06270660260758636,0.0,0.1942305522367615,0.14266162774362268,0.0,0.0,0.0935122064316023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040373575799802434,0.05772208115713193,0.0,0.0784997251682623,0.0,0.0,0.0907199000574509,0.1766121133193674,0.054630223293508265,0.0,0.04716817755809104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903801000779906,0.10699773171512457,0.0,0.06302050689622299
mentalhealth,meatfluff,2018/01/05,"I think I've been dissociating My vision gets blurry, I don't pay as much attention, and I want to escape inside myself. I don't know why this is happening, and I don't know what to do about it.

I just wish it and my depression would stop so I can feel alive again.

EDIT: Honestly I'm not sure if this is dissociation or not, and if it is, I don't know what could've caused it. Pretty sure I don't have PTSD or anything so it's weird...",2.1133984962406025,2.938971557894739,4.483909774436093,87.08736842105263,75.52631578947368,7.954887218045112,20.939849624060148,8.418075326091056,0.7838270676691739,338,7,81,6,7,119,55,95,0.12,0.6859999999999999,0.194,0.7037,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,13,0,0,1,2,24,23,11,0,5,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,6,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,1,12,3,4,21,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,53,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541023837511465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439379439837205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18959335245113249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045248828972923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006745850990015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240636150618743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20998605153587901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915072033424579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456121868246707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158329028754966,0.0,0.0,0.27757929872604553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852809825407455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476085211232485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215547377611702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006069920210176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21427169276635732,0.0,0.2730685264743549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686855403251088,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kekekxo,2018/01/05,"Wake up from sleep whimpering So lately I’ve had a lot of trouble falling asleep. I’ll lay in bed tossing and turning for 2 hours before I even begin to fall asleep. And usually two hours turns into four and so on because every time as I’m about to fall asleep I feel bugs crawling on my arms. Well, last night as I jolted awake from the bug crawling sensation I realized that I had been whimpering as if I were crying for help right as I was about to actually fall asleep. This brought a sense of familiarity, as I realized that it wasn’t the first time I’ve whimpered in my sleep. Like I suddenly remembered that it’s been something that’s been happening constantly before this one time but I was too tired when I noticed it to have remembered it in the morning. 
I know I don’t have bed bugs or anything of that sort because I had the same issue when I slept over at a friends house a few nights ago. 
Does anyone have any idea as to what could be causing this? 
I’m not like traumatized or anything so this makes no sense to me . 
I should also add that I have anxiety, but lately it’s just been terrible. Specifically at night. It’s to the point where I see figures out of the corner of my eye and I get so scared I actually flinch until I realize that nothings there. Ive also been horrified with the idea of being alone lately. I always need to be around my sisters or mom when I’m in the house. But during the day it’s like my life is completely normal, besides being terribly sleep deprived. I don’t know if my sudden paranoia is causing my sleeping problems or if my sleeping probs are causing my paranoia but I’m in desperate need of advice.",4.400403352540592,5.385512481927712,5.429324253535885,81.84694866422213,70.26506024096386,8.544997380827658,30.09743321110529,8.841846274778883,2.3594595075956,1312,52,259,23,23,433,165,332,0.17,0.794,0.037000000000000005,-0.9925,0,1,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,18,11,0,1,13,0,28,15,13,4,0,46,46,31,0,9,13,2,1,3,1,1,2,0,2,0,19,9,0,0,11,0,0,5,5,6,1,4,14,3,34,5,43,26,3,47,0,1,2,0,4,18,0,9,27,175,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.1692333677840209,0.0,0.0,0.08473224073283353,0.07686339392375174,0.0,0.0,0.08980565581666305,0.0,0.13868429152060527,0.07214986397784051,0.0,0.0,0.058965935056032766,0.0,0.06633309450333773,0.0,0.0,0.0606298143125514,0.0,0.14271027487033375,0.07719049519000834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571551217189956,0.0,0.1475680515420541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672258986532265,0.0,0.0,0.09091403449603798,0.09370296257627213,0.0,0.06923106912635255,0.0,0.09524712451320698,0.05592092995683413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588071334032971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057271294216426766,0.0,0.07305711504324999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438433015317184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375568389077965,0.0,0.0,0.06699211455216257,0.0,0.045302520364618966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667757683222205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812004455623914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707842353723721,0.2001039447304447,0.0,0.19577060791140932,0.0,0.09050296013069664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530735794144056,0.07068041678590252,0.2934387748695701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061246005213146715,0.12708672670926474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371794330420192,0.0,0.0,0.05787975698007816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015539824096099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858908510467493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441150525036116,0.08495762261830035,0.08320081166018355,0.09872018033183808,0.0,0.0,0.058757101143396974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196920185119103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296998700450099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964515923245452,0.07405006921821193,0.0,0.0,0.08681207465991664,0.0,0.0690968330337416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338642939780492,0.0,0.0,0.06675377725957846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168431072255026,0.09966066264368398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863167828979036,0.08470330274155279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549907649528164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779629171722684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sinflowrr,2018/01/05,"how much Ativan would kill a 16 yr old female about 5'6 feet and 120 pounds? I need to know because a friend of mine is considering suicide with that option and while I am trying to get help for her, I was wondering how much would be lethal? I believe she is planning to pair it with a melatonin overdose (although she claims OD-ing on melatonin isn't capable of killing.) 
also: is this suicide method very painful? Or would you be able to die in your sleep if paired with sleeping pills? and how long does it take to take effect?",6.167243589743593,6.124715596153848,5.579615384615387,85.93205128205129,66.11538461538461,8.087179487179487,31.756410256410252,7.1686216300943375,1.779383333333333,418,15,85,3,6,127,76,104,0.205,0.745,0.05,-0.964,0,0,1,0,0,2,11.0,0,2,0,2,5,4,2,0,3,0,11,5,3,4,0,19,17,11,6,5,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,10,1,14,11,2,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,4,3,55,14,0,0.16835650110299408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463463310653584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262856044383747,0.0,0.0,0.18968012457025835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747274680812971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732990864967027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300718151258154,0.0,0.08795932316798302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284581388660245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37252304875923664,0.0,0.09252433010333146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899020560602172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475227993159868,0.12483421233039052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666182729580635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914318718948966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369561723092886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683093736816525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25316627320874363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430301303795808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891174512911594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825754438386778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35878688399871744,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neodude44,2018/01/05,Antidepressants So i took paxil daily for two years. A very low dosage like about 5 to 10mg. I eventually stopped taking it about a year ago but now i feel that I sometimes might be depressed when i would not feel that before. Im so scared that i might have screwed myself by deciding to take that medication. ,2.724972677595627,5.097548737704923,3.656967213114754,86.95189890710384,78.01639344262296,6.689617486338799,23.281420765027317,7.793537801064563,1.1143748633879773,247,8,50,4,6,79,46,61,0.27,0.7,0.03,-0.9444,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,1,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,9,10,4,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,1,2,7,1,6,5,0,8,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,7,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737793619796093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947040961409106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191779919418811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22517091506575732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405150063877955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878223714187588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22431025337126387,0.0,0.4724219990650565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229252087207508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202200938078608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861568242757824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348307846596232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473875646966424,0.0,0.0,0.21751008159831636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837208725732156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817390467307413,0.0,0.0,0.28677624628525217
mentalhealth,livingdemise,2018/01/05,"Part vent, Part discussion [Canada] Hi all. I never really posted on a subreddit for this before out of fear someone from school would see making bullying and stuff worse. Because I still partially have that fear, this post will mainly be a discussion in regards to medications/ a vent about it. Apologies in advance for length as there is definitely other stuff I want to say but arent comfortable to yet. Kinda been building up for years... To start off, aside from abuse since age 5 (now 18), I have axiety, depression, ocd, adhd, sevant asperers, bipolar, and went through a stage of psychosis like symptoms. I've never really been able to make friends, but got used to that. In the past, I was isolated but able to consistently get things done. Ive always been extremely good with computers and electronics, getting my first job in IT at 15. One issue I consistently have is feeling restricted by medications/slowed down by them (if that makes sense). I started taking medications after being diagnosed with bipolar and adhd at about 8 years of age. Since then, Ive felt like a lab rat always having them switched, with nothing ever working properly. I've been to at least 28 different shrinks over the years. Interestingly enough, the only thing that has helped me the most is medical weed. Going back to the restricted mind, it has prevented me from doing tests, focusing on work, etc. its not that I cant focus (as concerta does help with that at least) but i cant think and blank. When I smoke, I have no issues and can fly throught it. I was going to get a green card however my previous psychologist (the longest standing one I was actually starting to like) unfortunately though he died from a heart attack end of november. My current one has no idea about the process for it, and mainly just perscribes my pills and refills. nothing more. I want to look into it more but am also affraid of being judged or people thinking im just some teen who wants an excuse to get high when in reality its that I just want to be able to get shit done and function. So thank you if you have read this far first off. Second was wondering people opinions of medical weed and if it is a good idea or not, or if they know any medications that may help instead (although doctors dont usually provide what i think may work they like to guess). Will definitely provide current list if thats the case. Thanks everyone! Honesty glad there is a place like this. ",6.490884754990926,7.358493197368425,6.793290986085907,74.36447368421055,65.49122807017544,10.14930429522081,33.26799758015729,10.165852483727232,3.4297776164549303,1942,80,344,44,29,628,254,456,0.111,0.757,0.132,0.7787,7,0,1,0,1,0,64.0,0,2,4,6,19,18,2,2,18,0,42,13,2,4,4,67,75,32,1,10,18,0,2,5,1,5,11,1,0,0,29,16,0,3,9,1,0,4,10,5,0,6,13,6,30,13,61,53,13,55,0,1,3,0,18,21,1,16,31,244,59,9,0.21642200067052825,0.08547489373571124,0.07039888446850512,0.0,0.17339812509154726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057690865248368736,0.1200536278419188,0.0,0.0,0.0490581272941964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207042315239177,0.0,0.055471719860929074,0.0,0.04397628095078957,0.0,0.06138639411235765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213465068375395,0.07322125834442042,0.07487062268955981,0.07537164254197949,0.0,0.0738390294238896,0.06313078374296838,0.1476498978664366,0.08454832431963473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389521838033736,0.07454059331336756,0.08045591310662241,0.0,0.06525536333328817,0.0,0.06893349873392501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623566131013927,0.03647648876418222,0.0,0.0692663533818576,0.0,0.0,0.122725628807414,0.0,0.0,0.05573570028668847,0.0,0.188452604769474,0.0,0.08199840695201588,0.12101633739344353,0.0576974814874123,0.0,0.07947107779022917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548703760862722,0.14506310506947362,0.07622057536692699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287606385371042,0.07792429964198165,0.15059222699934285,0.07158848040098836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039646623881413164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622142938351765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605799910965161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444633659919545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36337066154384745,0.0,0.0,0.07284150856664247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127865927349513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844183105133856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665314869975088,0.05486622795293028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562426243707849,0.06886642943327906,0.10002651012916124,0.0,0.07537164254197949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381816347171931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216018917917277,0.0,0.09243031695439237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736915382541843,0.0,0.07301020629925048,0.05748677142784199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405135787352632,0.11935101026527115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061124552950733636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318460599252415,0.0,0.05761162976639299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516760817183096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498177506690623,0.054240803484643337,0.0,0.0,0.13283486733641206,0.0,0.0,0.0958541070913642,0.1386744792922985,0.07087783894142607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623063737742264,0.07945275262287912,0.0,0.17020173772821934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687512095360726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823347592757658,0.15755779406173226,0.0,0.07351750271068416,0.05124665994193163,0.0,0.0,0.1393686727578051
mentalhealth,gradster1,2018/01/05,"I need to start making things Plagued with feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, and apathy, even as I'm surrounded by reminders that directly contradict them. One thing that always picks me up is productivity, and the more literal the better (i.e. if I actually have a literal *product* by the end). I need a hobby, and I need one bad.

The main problem is I don't know what. Blacksmithing, woodworking, making jewelry, knitting, whittling, origami, and probably many others have all held a fascination for me at some time or another. (As a rule, the visual arts are a no.)

The secondary problem is I don't know how. It seems like many of these things take considerable skill developed over years of practice, muscle memory, specialised tools- a high barrier to entry.

What I am looking for in a response:

a. primarily, your experience with any possibility you think I'd like (even if it's only because you do) especially as it relates to your mental health,

b. other ideas, if you can think of them,

c. specific ways to overcome the barrier to entry for whatever example you provide.",7.648039723661482,8.620875803108813,8.351930051813476,63.82958765112264,62.989637305699475,12.029188255613127,38.88126079447323,11.698219412168324,5.20765664939551,862,44,134,27,12,289,125,193,0.1,0.841,0.059,-0.7037,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,6,2,2,3,7,0,0,15,0,11,1,0,4,1,32,27,12,0,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,13,6,0,3,8,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,1,2,17,3,23,26,4,11,0,1,1,0,8,6,0,6,6,97,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.14636752734817446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480277769359327,0.0,0.0,0.1019975933226032,0.15727643631460933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523446398426008,0.09143183948625393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265299070950226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284564371024318,0.0,0.0,0.19813250382599032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467179219136144,0.0,0.0,0.07583889300327414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594311837517503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847150467992593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931920804182865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485995052440486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655399771947045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595289784085076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023750690818987,0.30413039981152423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115353044674718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33364459994831497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032727167488925,0.11407331495408025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690899451616728,0.0,0.0,0.16171339928286935,0.2870382360400117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654425867214345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616291331037052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277298422217555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29893787551577106,0.19221365786830485,0.0,0.0,0.08745973204018123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905420505831693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658793211173153
mentalhealth,adamswebster,2018/01/05,"Do I have schizophrenia So my mother has schizophrenia, and sever bi polar tendencies. 
And schizophrenia tends to be hereditary. When I was ten she pulled me out of school and locked me in our house. Double deadbolts on the doors, burglar bars on the windows, you get the jist. The reason for this was because of the 'cameras' and how everyone was against us. Think the trueman show. She would scream for hours on end to the people watching and make threats about killing me and her self if they dont show them selves. But that is besides the point, after I left , for years after I had periods of time where I would kinda checkout. I cant really remember what happened during those times, and as far as people tell me I would just fly off the handle, and blame people for things that didn't make sense, I would do really dumb stuff and fight people I love. I would just do things that I cant explain why I did them and would normally never do. I have been going to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist regularly for years, and I have been given every diagnosis in the book. Things like bi-polar/ aggressive, bi-polar/manic, clinical depression and things like that. But I haven't had anything more severe than being mildly bumbed for a couple of years now and I was wondering whats up? Don't get me wrong I am glad, but I would like to know why it stooped and what exactly 'it' is. Any insight will be greatly appreciated and I am sorry for the really long post. Thank you for your time",5.430371733529628,6.369779055944058,5.670036805299965,81.22161391240337,67.88111888111888,8.678395288921605,27.989694516010303,8.841846274778883,2.055541258741258,1174,37,223,19,19,373,158,286,0.069,0.853,0.078,0.7483,0,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,2,3,3,0,8,15,5,0,13,0,38,4,0,4,2,44,53,25,1,9,6,1,0,3,0,8,1,1,2,1,16,17,1,0,7,4,0,2,7,8,0,1,11,3,36,7,31,31,2,30,0,1,2,2,17,12,1,3,18,165,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879967353222248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325502098323953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06167283464433305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194366391308308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713833808708532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857152793468892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960737817151279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524083709357512,0.09667311962168934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571522721757527,0.0,0.05749774746424536,0.0,0.0,0.1115412618244291,0.0,0.0,0.08946508264959772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963294592805172,0.11673762195818845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119305984999362,0.0,0.05560087451643767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992246646455636,0.0,0.0,0.1482809574641291,0.0,0.0,0.08953305273139596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913106769189614,0.0,0.13506470746439375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802922626059541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912599019516134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28055662215495764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956391910295302,0.0,0.09689374504330467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944379855596629,0.10402052344828086,0.0,0.0,0.1146068946754638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239034049925663,0.08062009955942429,0.0,0.1055433013402208,0.22858861389450336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325252678303725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581646250145708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842781590663215,0.09314456146721256,0.11569772822197902,0.0,0.268853771570229,0.06482622030084273,0.0,0.0,0.17698067617777846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169612211918555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258198163734646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971551300420304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5030822755900778,0.11061448459043087,0.0,0.19545220568357213
mentalhealth,SonicIceFlare,2018/01/05,"Stigma against diagnosis Is it just stigma that makes it wrong to diagnose someone as having Asperger's, ADHD, Anxiety, etc as casually as diagnosing someone as being extroverted/introverted, or something else (other than people being obnoxious about their assumptions)? What's the reasoning behind it?",15.373191489361705,14.215966000000005,15.16648936170213,28.182500000000033,48.57446808510639,18.761702127659575,55.41489361702129,16.52667757954773,10.052497872340425,250,15,24,11,2,86,38,47,0.16399999999999998,0.802,0.034,-0.755,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,4,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,9,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130829633172426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928979856002754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5288252921578108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21762307195952355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29053803988384475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738927634181565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060516043634314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678481538842149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44145935624514493,0.20055368926762407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28482730626838143,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Freezman13,2018/01/05,"[Mental health] Any advice on helping a loved one get help? (x-post /r/AskDocs) I'll try to keep it to the point.

Just talked to the girl I love and she said she thinks about suicide ""like twice a day"". But that she ""obviously won't do it"". She has a kid (5y.o.) who is the world to her so I'm not like exactly panicking, though I can't know how much wishful thinking is coloring this perception either. Regardless, it's obviously an issue, she also has issues with depression and anxiety. The details and reasons don't matter too much I guess, not here at least.

My real question, or two, is:

- Do you have any advice on asking her to get help?

I tried to touch upon it during our conversation, but obviously she's defensive about it, Saying things like ""oh, but I'm obviously not going to do it"" (as in suicide, not counseling), or that she has always been this way, apparently since 5 she felt like she didn't belong in this world and so that's just the ""kind of person she is"", I didn't try to impose too much.

- How to pick a councilor?

I just opened google maps and now have 15 tabs of local mental health centers, what are my considerations supposed to be?

- Any other advice?

Regards.
",2.9924248927038626,4.876094369098716,4.501139484978541,83.54158047210304,75.26609442060087,7.40678111587983,24.096351931330474,8.238735603445708,1.4476439484978545,920,29,183,16,20,307,134,233,0.059,0.8270000000000001,0.114,0.8298,1,0,0,0,0,2,52.0,1,1,0,0,15,9,1,0,10,0,20,4,0,4,5,43,36,17,2,2,13,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,0,3,16,7,0,2,8,0,0,1,9,2,0,3,5,5,22,7,22,29,5,17,0,1,1,2,29,13,0,4,6,125,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368213114638422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918812495798571,0.0956015939024465,0.0,0.0,0.234397006446315,0.0,0.08789413054123553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741103427126003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409757609553327,0.0,0.09895863621481503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031692929488507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005547663917425,0.0,0.06529730540418524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656946470447944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24425538543447975,0.0,0.0,0.2310344853441805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398404311348816,0.0,0.1021236878970321,0.0,0.11964514892634658,0.06314312202051517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245269862367194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073939039489489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315736668965633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533824719824601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785562179467523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032161979908223,0.0,0.0,0.10861262815813527,0.0,0.11003736217287942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870835818718798,0.0,0.0,0.13077532153954988,0.0,0.11813088664263476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092911697270195,0.0913688764785432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504208261204353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25135230590383634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923480072237454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633093297352668,0.14723976822971624,0.11288345878366292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340178769683992,0.0,0.11223542643657644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119806445580488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321232340549064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LargerFries,2018/01/05,"My new ocd habit I’m just going to get right to it. I’m doing this thing recently where every time I’m like I don’t like this thought I will then follow that up with telling myself “yes you do” and then it feels like I do. Or Ill be feeling anxious about something and then tell myself “this doesn’t bug you, your not worried”  or “you like the thought of that” it feels like all my worries are gone. It’s super odd and very concerning. Has anyone else heard of or experienced anything like this? It just feels like I’m starting to not care about anything at all.I just started today taking Zoloft so I’m hoping this will eliminate this new challenge in my life.  ",1.7387739872068233,4.056958335820898,2.584648187633263,93.57970149253731,81.31343283582089,5.0226012793176995,22.257995735607675,6.18269132825596,0.28847718550106594,523,17,109,4,14,164,78,134,0.084,0.701,0.215,0.9463,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,2,7,11,0,0,1,1,10,3,0,0,1,20,31,10,0,1,8,0,4,7,0,2,3,1,0,0,14,4,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,4,6,12,11,11,24,1,18,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,4,17,65,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580496719392838,0.0,0.09782287578091037,0.14334634359506795,0.2302551912716349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263962367720967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687034180048406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787364303881832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829550371012379,0.29983849316252537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309312872615649,0.0,0.0795096480891718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895445823657554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881706595961563,0.478444060064604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702368459448178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813655114300555,0.0,0.0,0.11947572006997513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077035536857726,0.0,0.0,0.19804700388502852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518904835947893,0.0,0.2445613901101949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929448096131432,0.0,0.0,0.22213344971053506,0.08157810176377908,0.0,0.1326109335724821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543397223403555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841549637440167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ahoky8,2018/01/05,"Why do therapists and doctors always seem to use the broad statement of ""You could have it worse, you could [insert worse health scenario here]""? Is there any psycological reasoning in comparing one's own situation with something that could be much worse? I can't wrap my head around it. Is it as simple as trying to get a patient to get in the mindset that they should be happy/lucky that they are not worse off?

I've been seeing my therapist for 3 years now for mostly depression,anxiety (panic attacks), and OCD. However the past 1.5 years has been half focused on pain management. This is due to a sudden degeneration of my spine and and accident that lacerated my right (hand) fingers, where I never fully regained function from and have issues doing certain tasks with my right hand.

These two issues are now causing constant pain that have limited or stopped my abilities to do what I once enjoyed. I was told by a neurologist that I should be ""thankful"" that I can even feel pain, because a lot of people in this world have a condition where they can't. REALLY... you're going to make me feel better by comparing me to people with CIPA? There are like a handful of newly documented cases of that a year.

I really like my therapist, but because we were on the topic of pain again and how this makes my depression worse, because of all the things I can't or have limited ability to do like, play the piano, guitar, play golf, hockey or ski. I don't know if she has run out of things to say, but all she said was, ""at least you still have your right hand"" or ""people still ski or [insert activity here] even though they have a missing arm or leg(s).

I don't know if this is suppose to help in some way, but to me it seems like a pretty shitty thing to say to a patient. If something happens to someone where it is life altering, then that is the worse thing that they have to go through at the time or even life. So I don't understand the constand need for professionals to say that ""I could have it worse"". Everyone could have it worse in some way shape or form!",7.716149999999999,6.621426315000001,7.697500000000002,75.49750000000003,63.35,11.0,34.25,10.125756701596842,3.19335,1626,57,315,30,20,525,195,400,0.123,0.778,0.099,-0.91,1,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,1,4,5,3,19,18,1,1,19,0,47,16,8,6,4,60,68,26,0,11,15,0,7,4,0,2,8,4,0,0,28,12,0,3,9,7,0,3,8,8,0,3,7,12,35,10,48,51,10,42,0,2,1,0,18,21,0,17,20,231,63,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756435657557634,0.0,0.0,0.04704563424291769,0.0,0.05292348029823444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061585995376618664,0.0,0.07870367914035056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265167756955565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061185209168709086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106821860411577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476037309765499,0.0,0.2761780639338229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059585724345926176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080995877189344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708072420614734,0.0,0.0,0.06610566581705854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699602550490599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228871385931306,0.0,0.0786346172333982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061176766396632824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099993927556067,0.07353645231586152,0.0,0.0,0.04637074534265631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441453887449232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760404307692415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772955037037916,0.13519389132527096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881543970317836,0.0,0.0,0.092358066546937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085619172864039,0.05129703327622401,0.05335685840419795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367579208050352,0.04687901729938844,0.0,0.29445498514932084,0.08116931150236659,0.0,0.0,0.06604134787503448,0.14388474050115407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038222018630659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863858292666058,0.07112986513827982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724127339584955,0.06580722776596915,0.1650471620029984,0.0,0.0,0.05512851328755082,0.12596005537390365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776264327821025,0.0,0.0,0.05861706347119899,0.10651823926146746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049649921915193,0.057838637381979134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369281633947155,0.0,0.2409743512225065,0.18384384042459204,0.0,0.06797024408963184,0.0,0.040340153434131464,0.0,0.0,0.06610566581705854,0.0,0.0469695394709786,0.0,0.06758004593939744,0.07202013930069284,0.0,0.05975040290483208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982574007486297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062425333482394485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5640129754221124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365140426508382
mentalhealth,LeedsKurt,2018/01/05,"Worried about mental health after seeing traumatic things while working.. Hi. I’m not here to complain about what I see or ask for sympathy, but I am wondering if anyone else has experience with see death and traumatic injury and how this has effected their mental health. Sometimes after seeing a particularly messy for sad death I feel real down for a little while.",8.288538461538463,9.335295661538463,8.17519230769231,65.39355769230771,61.615384615384606,10.807692307692307,33.17307692307692,10.686352973137794,3.9072307692307686,298,11,44,7,4,96,48,65,0.377,0.584,0.039,-0.9853,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,4,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,0,12,11,8,2,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,10,11,0,6,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,3,4,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868951098229245,0.18857727000036567,0.0,0.0,0.17205852460162396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374713751333655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003267928132047,0.0,0.0,0.09305938172398476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912653995838352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844628274849482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709509337949995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094850778698676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5866445579198494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202657982690754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222722395142651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995904525516559,0.1339879595316858,0.1869080367730539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,august_is_magical,2018/01/05,"Frequent daydreams, overwhelming anxiety, and suicidal thoughts Hello, I wanted to know if anyone can help me identify what I’m going through


Lately, I’ll get raptured into some really strong daydreams or thoughts.  

I don’t hear anything while I’m in these trances, and my parents (it’s usually around my parents) have to snap me out of it.

Some of it is benign, like escaping into the wizard of world, or getting tattoos I’ve always wanted. Sometimes I’m riding a horse, or exploring an entirely new world. 

Often, it’s dark. I’ll imagine running away, and not coming back. I think of places to stay, how I’d survive. I’ll begin to sweat and grow nervous. My heart will beat faster and sometimes, I’ve been known to jump up from my seat.  I’ll get into a nervous wreck. I’ve packed my bag before, but I never actually get around to doing it. 
Sometimes I imagine my suicide. I look to find places I might hang, I imagine tying the knot. Sometimes I find the pills and hold them in my hand. Sometimes I see cars and wonder what it would feel like to be run over. I sometimes think about bleach, or electrocution. Then I imagine the gruesome death and opt not. Just as in my running away daydreams, I get flighty and restless. I often write suicide notes. 

Also, I get extremely overwhelmed by loud noises, or noises that do not keep tempo with my mind’s tempo. I don’t know if that makes sense, but certain “off tempo” noises  (like children crying pattern is off beat to the truck’s wheel cycle, and none of that goes with the conversation that’s being held right next to me) irritate me. They really shouldn’t, there’s no reason a child should cry to the cycle of a truck’s car wheels. I just keep track of the world that way and when the world does things like that, I go all “I AM A PREY ANIMAL I MUST FLEE FROM THIS WEIRD LAND”  and that’s really not helpful for anyone. 

Should I be worried about the suicide thoughts? ",4.323261202604364,5.812844450402148,4.82197912677135,84.21830764075068,70.98391420911528,7.151627728839526,28.066736882420532,7.5804360353943165,1.6481873611643048,1512,55,285,17,28,481,192,373,0.158,0.7759999999999999,0.066,-0.9913,2,0,0,0,0,3,50.0,0,0,2,4,13,13,0,5,16,0,20,4,3,3,4,77,51,27,5,9,15,2,2,4,0,7,1,2,0,2,18,21,0,4,18,0,0,14,10,6,0,0,5,6,36,7,43,36,4,51,0,2,2,0,12,23,0,13,16,175,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.08260060344845797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768999706395658,0.07043081847664437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475263958076985,0.0,0.0,0.11837049193693495,0.0,0.0696550271198816,0.1507027028219905,0.0,0.0,0.15905216754286872,0.06508622358762567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202604466657507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291354899535538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595552554533887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407277647526077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04279868930238926,0.06046988780137581,0.0,0.0,0.15472666989962788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26533884437938177,0.0,0.0962105855395888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540025099084484,0.10030387479580996,0.11347054817046325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047144364100998,0.0,0.0,0.09303656107686928,0.0,0.09548243035355378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541167113681074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107987376864035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650071161032545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979420078163447,0.08546658955075412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528288392863804,0.0817499693671245,0.09002014796445575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879749034017262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768705059425829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626758722458312,0.08702841337668896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722857493521076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745052916808171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502292120824212,0.0,0.0,0.09021953610717257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703483991880611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623389595258399,0.10847326875441304,0.0,0.20159430124075015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322371173689456,0.0,0.09985077427339538,0.06718668654899627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179310681235646,0.0,0.08596037117134361,0.0,0.060128865221084876,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,luis-mercado,2018/01/05,"Desperate, need advise I love my wife, more than anything. She’s sweet and incredibly noble, been friends for almost two decades, five as a couple, two married. 

However lately she’s been having fits of mania, specially characterized by gaming addiction. This has been affecting her life: barely sleeping, bad mood if not playing, no motivation in her work. Every time I’ve tried to talk with her about it she gets extremely defensive yet she recognizes it’s a problem. She changes a couple of days just to come back with vengeance.

All her life she’s been taking meds to help her cope with anxiety and depression. She used to have schizoid episodes as teenager and young adult, later she was diagnosed with BD. Her first years she took a lot of meds but for the last 7 she’s been only on alprazolam for anxiety and Prozac for depression. 

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to help her. Please, any advise will be welcomed. ",4.951885714285716,6.9643767314285725,5.198142857142859,80.05835714285716,70.25714285714287,8.885714285714286,30.214285714285715,9.424239791934726,2.8696857142857155,748,31,135,17,14,236,116,175,0.105,0.768,0.126,0.5851,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,5,12,1,0,5,0,14,7,1,4,1,25,23,9,0,3,4,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,3,2,0,2,4,5,0,4,7,1,21,6,24,14,3,15,0,2,0,1,28,3,0,3,10,87,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576227586238744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447844524895887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832510793386297,0.0,0.22121954550301096,0.0,0.14339289584385562,0.0,0.0,0.11898397919546952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117959741704417,0.12072532093326427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295541424313433,0.1245501517327664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199687519334196,0.0,0.0932475923351811,0.0,0.2490676498218359,0.14675423883577604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182200986278224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298686644086106,0.0,0.0,0.1117086821026369,0.0,0.07554150036447972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382918794326745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589240677278924,0.117858889249875,0.16310207570757487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20425420430891567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292393438958064,0.130496726257953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32121035799816045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721050772805732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996603586280797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871470511247174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835162487861075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469287561878985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871252432984596,0.11621472367009412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431069118972889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606430942323578,0.09816607029339924,0.0,0.282483823126138,0.0,0.0,0.12487800216220568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526211769178744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311022486537474
mentalhealth,NerualLag0215,2018/01/05,"Suicidal thoughts I've told my two closest friends, and my boyfriend, I am feeling suicidal, several times. It is a cry for help, I'm too scared to face this alone and was hoping someone would inform my parents, doctor, or idk someone who could help me. No one has said anything or has done anything to help me. I feel even worse because of it. I feel like I'm going crazy. ",3.3220720720720722,5.001801567567568,3.890270270270271,89.1382882882883,73.86486486486487,6.5549549549549555,31.25225225225225,7.1686216300943375,1.8182144144144143,292,14,59,3,6,92,54,74,0.276,0.535,0.189,-0.8537,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,8,2,1,0,0,12,18,4,2,3,2,1,3,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,5,4,8,3,4,11,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,3,2,34,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647748955448686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804405893339545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387100915531654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604627868354024,0.0,0.18717054364248134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440616476620946,0.0,0.17437290695668556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125440723631581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584699944921203,0.12172998614148532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316464991943038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096839217586012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426358661759324,0.0,0.0,0.16924035433569887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324622869014887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546383809561565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892031159475589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208435095311371,0.0,0.17059479004613134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249747594355812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887497015159164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37276822514344266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352743345406626,0.09935850222977287,0.0,0.0,0.16281940908354525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645083306690067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736467257356918,0.12104348455396614,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rotinaj56,2018/01/06,"I don't know what's going on with my brain/body right now. I really don't know what's going on with my body/brain right now. 

For the last week, I haven't really been able to sleep. 

Last night I slept about 13 hours, but I had nightmares all night. 

I have no idea how many times I woke up with my heart racing. 

I've had these nightmares forever and they get really bad sometimes. 

It has been like this for about a week. I just feel like I'm on this constant high. 

It's not a good high and I'm really not sure how I can even begin to handle this.


Edit : This just kind of hit me, but I feel like passing out, I feel like breaking down, I feel like crying. I want something to happen. But I want to go to sleep.

I was awake for about 8-9 hours yesterday. Today, I've been up since about noon, took a really short nap and will probably fall asleep really early. I don't even think I can drink alcohol.


Edit 2 : Feel quite a bit better now. Played some games a bit with some friends which allowed me to calm down. 

I see my psychiatrist on the nineteenth. So, I'm going to try and get in sooner, if I can.

I talked to some people and the more I talked about it, the more I realized that it was mania. I don't know how anyone ever handles that. But I took my sleeping meds, even though I'm not really tired.

I hope they'll get me to sleep tonight, because there's no way in hell I can handle another day like today. That was pure hell. ",1.16527436140019,2.9310894205298053,2.799872280037846,94.19942052980134,80.29139072847683,6.168590350047302,17.739356669820246,7.1686216300943375,-0.04464181646168397,1103,21,256,14,28,363,142,302,0.121,0.747,0.132,-0.2084,1,0,3,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,2,2,20,17,2,0,9,0,21,10,7,4,4,45,52,15,0,4,10,0,5,6,1,2,2,0,0,0,15,10,2,0,11,4,0,8,10,3,0,0,12,6,36,14,33,37,8,48,2,0,1,0,6,16,2,5,28,149,51,2,0.08248281261057955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814904205560486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649042083110944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767390039823508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886970322044951,0.05028075698962148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294934485938859,0.18009973701916454,0.0916198103912943,0.0,0.1841561951546673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913461787602248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060349655822372,0.05319459050098831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080175482364724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343735944606502,0.07461042623640979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852894193563845,0.2357029512393731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637260164154705,0.0,0.12928159570944764,0.0,0.1875075328950196,0.06918266984721598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293927878786365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774253008279553,0.0,0.1742952402874703,0.0,0.08192404404646292,0.16245791104815988,0.0,0.0,0.09311305559488706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589315653674168,0.13599119009661048,0.13446900222394376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24178161524240416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362462579777089,0.0,0.0,0.0916198103912943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480906419213197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05718319670952037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893042267327488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877306242214411,0.0,0.0,0.3698842129602407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087974258200722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572812256488328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682306349453383,0.0,0.3301695228456008,0.0,0.0,0.06349929889324916,0.08157761075192048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773907474148009,0.0,0.0,0.13259312076594568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285165581085946,0.08103894460178057,0.0,0.04809639134243713,0.09480185938395726,0.1563681237853939,0.0,0.18328287949324146,0.05600041544856541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973009998674096,0.06547101739137348,0.13232547397929434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ninjapanda112,2018/01/06,"What is wrong with our mental health system? I've used the services. I know what they're like and do not like them.

Putting chemicals in our body to shut down our sex drive or reduce our awareness.

What the actual fuck?!?!?

It's almost like it was designed to keep us down?",0.5233333333333334,3.0086408703703715,1.2462037037037028,98.15041666666669,94.0,4.181481481481482,16.00925925925926,5.985473137389443,-0.5538074074074073,213,5,45,2,8,65,42,54,0.053,0.7909999999999999,0.156,0.7135,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,5,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,3,4,1,1,0,8,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,6,6,0,7,0,0,0,2,6,4,1,2,3,26,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.26242549386233754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692828579286199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987076364578567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24861065873599175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858476049375715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23902696385451236,0.0,0.0,0.14779047893448985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941397309139377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710064219515439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27033719297984243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234756346709513,0.2322590909205064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940199735505693,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jivg2,2018/01/06,"Being a brat RANT.

Thought my mental health was improving until tonight.

Had my first shift back at work after Xmas (25hr shift), was worse than what I imagined it would be and only got 2hrs sleep so I am cranky today.

Got home and currently have a relative staying over and my partner’s brother was over. They all knew I had a crap shift and was very tired, none of them offered room on the couch and let me sit on the floor. I went to grab a slice of pizza that I had bought for my relative to say ‘can you not eat much as I want it later’. We all had plans to go out later this evening, whilst outside smoking they all decided without me that we would stay in and watch a comedian I hate and order Indian which they also know I hate. 

In the end I said I didn’t want anything to order obviously as I hate Indian food. I took myself off to bed as why sit out there when I am shattered, watching a comedian I can’t stand, sat on the floor and surrounded by food I hate when my partner promised we would get my favourite food in.

Partner came in and asked why I was being so moody, I explained and he had a go at me for being so self centred when we had guests round.

I am embarrassed now at how bratty I have behaved and don’t even want to leave the bedroom now due to how humiliated I am at myself. 

I have been doing so well lately and have not cried for ages, yet tonight I can’t stop crying because I am tired and my favourite food wasn’t ordered. I’m still angry about everything yet I know I am in the wrong. ",3.7911904761904793,4.3728611369426735,4.7847406733394005,87.3901804670913,71.38853503184714,7.7643918713982405,27.054291780406427,7.793537801064563,1.3497514710342735,1183,38,260,14,21,387,164,314,0.168,0.7709999999999999,0.06,-0.9889,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,4,1,4,3,21,10,5,1,13,0,37,11,2,2,4,43,62,27,0,6,3,1,2,0,4,3,3,2,5,4,7,20,6,1,7,0,1,5,9,8,1,1,24,6,46,2,38,30,5,58,0,0,3,0,21,21,1,0,24,182,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959098943840506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819015034465458,0.0,0.09304347223556032,0.0,0.0,0.07652943062257521,0.0,0.06067018925138405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138313489585473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186495037916468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184005114615673,0.0,0.0,0.08815058726160832,0.0,0.0,0.13147210612316987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944764482575636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465685324860597,0.4813894402241381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519982815694422,0.0,0.1131259570052726,0.0,0.15920023455765564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930456911234747,0.0,0.1057915945379738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983279720886852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093938878894938,0.0,0.11226978040259857,0.1053837737373129,0.0,0.1017721844748815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002989040770388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316313808548121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569408693606437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946721161850754,0.07914715261335455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038274323444842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959798059631683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121631690620155,0.07948167524486803,0.08320827945657397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901260942949992,0.0,0.2287812314120486,0.09433910934258503,0.0,0.11057716362234593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211945904508254,0.17610922437553406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948592013138447,0.09226169554912543,0.17961365719142272,0.0,0.0,0.09593961269171984,0.0,0.07245618908711787,0.0,0.10142560276385228,0.21210146628753224,0.10881617089190176,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snailmucus,2018/01/06,"Help! My mental illness is causing to push away the people that I love. I’ve been feeling incredibly shitty and depressed for the past year or so. Sometimes it gets so bad that it’s nearly impossible to hold back how absolutely awful I’m feeling, and it shows. When it gets that bad, I tend to lash out at the people that I care about the most, specifically my boyfriend. He’s wonderful to me and I love him so much but sometimes I turn into a monster and act like a bitch, which obviously makes him upset. My mom told me today that when I talk to her it seems fake, and I know that it’s because a lot of the time I lack the energy to carry conversations with people. Any advice as to how to deal with this and be less angry of a person would be greatly appreciated.",3.969260997067451,5.011905187096778,5.511906158357772,80.64240469208211,71.32258064516128,7.958944281524928,26.34897360703813,8.296473431620573,1.6206129032258063,604,19,122,9,11,205,96,155,0.194,0.665,0.141,-0.9087,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,11,1,1,10,1,5,3,0,4,1,27,20,16,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,10,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,2,2,16,5,20,15,5,14,0,1,0,2,13,5,1,5,8,86,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576063773153831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967970785168084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151533087751269,0.12401863593143593,0.2693334023933601,0.09831817709145692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444137204295672,0.16568469273452804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627832477728946,0.138915011850984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310164499833704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685300909352028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781789334482082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810630750105953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863832283164404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879597513407867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711921090284535,0.29113302008680003,0.0,0.10765936010458932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625379042789189,0.0,0.0,0.1888956922547977,0.0,0.0,0.11856344039162466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396531171551664,0.3354452874627196,0.14082832521102434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682831145454334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190310751391748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296352194067606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404690391677707,0.0,0.15287984714474911,0.15411525916982016,0.0,0.0,0.1754323691020632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17490730399269025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457263048584472,0.0,0.0,0.1038626092137908
mentalhealth,jadeisalwayspunking,2018/01/06,"Anxiety is ruining my life I'm a teenager who's in a bad place right now. Please take into consideration that I'm a person and treat me as if I were an adult, not an adolescent. I have to return to school next week and when I return there is going to be excessive pressure placed on me as I have my GCSEs in May(these will decipher which sixth form I will go to and my future career) therefore I must vigorously revise for hours and devote my life to education until my exams therefore i'm not going to have enough time to myself. I'm afraid of failure and I have cripplingly low self esteem. I'm having constant anxiety over it, I feel a sense of foreboding on a daily basis and I feel as if i'm not intelligent enough to obtain information through studying and that even if I devote myself to studying I will fail anyway as I think of myself as incapable of succeeding thus making studying futile. My school is hell for me, people tease me even if we've never spoken to each other before and all of them have a superiority complex. Over the holidays I have spent the majority of my time by myself, usually i'm able to cope with this however after most of your friends disappear from your life over the course of two weeks you feel lonely and there's nobody to talk to. Not that any of these friends are actually genuine, I don't like them and I always have to 'wear a mask' around them as they won't accept me for who I genuinely am and tend to just use me. This is why I NEED good grades to get out of this school, if I don't there is a chance that they won't accept me or that I will have to endure another two years of torture. The problem is that I'm failing my sciences and maths. I have had two weeks and 4 days of holidays and even 4 days into my holidays I began to feel dread and a lack of excitement which has eventually built up to mental breakdowns and daily anxiety attacks causing me to feel nauseous and giving me a sensation of being gravely ill and breathless. When I go to bed my anxiety stops but my mind remains racing with thoughts, things people have said, things that I have done, things that have happened, all I am missing and therefore even if my anxiety ends I remain restless. I just don't want to deal with this suffering anymore, I have nobody to help me that actually understands what I feel and how real it is in my mind, I don't have friends that I trust or anyone my age that I can go out with and enjoy myself with that I actually like when I should distract myself so I spend hours on a daily basis on my computer and if I need to go out I go out by myself.  I feel like I want all of this to stop and I feel guilty, I just want to be at peace with myself because i've been through so much in my life that I don't want to discuss. I just want a reason to live and I want to feel alive with people that make me feel alive and free because I don't feel free right now, I feel like a caged animal.",6.157,5.3566316000000045,7.0625,77.82375,66.33333333333334,10.033333333333333,31.25,9.354420925462401,2.53435,2320,75,472,38,32,780,244,600,0.15,0.743,0.107,-0.7114,1,2,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,5,4,21,40,4,5,19,0,48,6,1,10,5,110,98,48,1,19,18,0,12,4,3,8,5,1,1,3,31,40,0,2,21,3,4,8,13,19,0,3,8,13,88,23,87,79,11,62,1,8,0,0,24,25,1,10,33,346,119,11,0.06875313189110717,0.0,0.20127941690163667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720811343196326,0.0,0.0,0.046754487331304696,0.07209365348382787,0.2629797885554977,0.0,0.06818463231833084,0.048073788408202686,0.0,0.0,0.06120486389351585,0.0,0.07821661305052006,0.0,0.0,0.05740599330883685,0.08382254211464052,0.0,0.05850385133189207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062840537397443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429771057670717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868016453015055,0.07088146003984096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035832450214019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089486784481965,0.14208072822828965,0.0,0.18164318075138516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171637914153784,0.09823450232106457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935549744865515,0.0,0.03592067373223229,0.06595426896320956,0.27351792489183674,0.05766686506001219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060798167470601114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608377505278846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541597129794347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424948130543546,0.1343572295486424,0.0,0.0607102750756157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178649882826527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928698603703536,0.0,0.13884212779052002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050541462776709616,0.10195915225897006,0.0530266538105572,0.0,0.0731197357534679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299429447998144,0.06003258283539265,0.14366477893604768,0.0754702926384195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578746190650933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782561160682132,0.0,0.07068967040200466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742959794855025,0.06539997273722524,0.0,0.0,0.20874552008499156,0.0,0.0,0.07172451106333065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496139364484245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051693798749275835,0.05526116309172323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702957744741168,0.04405423078603101,0.0,0.054582306922182654,0.08018100820749037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201485458910454,0.07157443500806783,0.0,0.0593806311809873,0.07572186140874454,0.0,0.24331427112959145,0.0,0.1654488458341825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203900766614626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427476277789897
mentalhealth,patriotoftheshire,2018/01/06,"I'm the worst sleeper ever So this has been an issue for me for about the past 2 years. I sleep like an idiot. It takes me an hour to fall asleep most night and when I do I can't seem to stay asleep for more than 2 or three hours at a time. I've tried following all the sleep hygenine  guides that you can find online and they have maybe just made things worse. I do worry about things during the week - work, relationships, and my future - but even on the weekends I can't seem to get a good nights sleep. I do think part of the issue is I think too much about sleeping well and end up getting upset after lying in bed for hours wide awake. Is there any advice I can follow to try sleeping better or should I go see my doctor? I feel like seeing a doctor would be my last option..
",1.9311218229623108,3.554089478527608,2.92249342681858,94.84694785276078,77.52760736196319,5.393339176161263,16.550832602979842,5.773587663045528,-0.6840198071866785,607,8,137,3,14,193,110,163,0.101,0.8059999999999999,0.093,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,11,8,1,1,12,0,15,9,7,1,2,21,30,9,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,6,1,0,4,2,3,1,1,2,3,17,5,18,25,6,26,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,6,18,89,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979406512277996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640668602145173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937073102195827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300045211056108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951504793041853,0.0,0.0,0.07421080986977427,0.10163343634220097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681112952918591,0.0802679400816959,0.0,0.0,0.10269236077746699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740390264957665,0.0,0.06385513348960511,0.0942398110636886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319473549544477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23454325797249034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915860387543076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978401474163664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631501184232113,0.0,0.0,0.11287781635280245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259540202164334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21087906830759656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216717983533633,0.10725757262547392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062948503196112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906813558265214,0.20457138174616846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.562191252532475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975772705641045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447856186089453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929013943960506,0.14398779547010868,0.0,0.0,0.06551633296266755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256620142054972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012609439807252,0.0,0.1010225332310492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179731246101793,0.11410409665791975,0.11450149152678707,0.07981526551859416,0.0,0.0,0.07235429348789278
mentalhealth,lynzy94,2018/01/06,"Life is perfect... except for the emotional damage done by my family is keeping me depressed and anxious. From being isolated and close to killing my multiple time as a teen, I am now 23, have girlfriends, have a good career doing what I love, and the best, most loveable boyfriend I could ask for.

Today I have been hysterically crying on and off for hours. I have my dads sexist voice running through my head for years and It is so hard to shake. Things like ""women are disgusting whores,"" ""why are women so stupid,"" and ""the only reason any man marries a woman is either for kids or easy long term sex.""
Thinking about my boyfriend and his friends help, they don't say things like that to me, and my boyfriend is appalled at how my dad actually thinks this way. But then my negative mindset latches on to what my grandma (she raised me like her daughter) said to me a few weeks before she died, she basically told me my boyfriend was going to leave me for my best friend because shes prettier than me and that's how men are. Par of me does not believe in these things, but the part of me that does believe I am not seen as anything more as an annoying, stupid, emotional fuck toy, likes to take control of my mind and make me suffer in my own head for being born this way.

When I am socializing with intelligent, non-sexist people, I can become a pretty amazing version of myself that has just recently exposed itself after years of work and medication. I can be interesting, i'm really cute, tiny, feminine, unique. Even my boyfriends friends show interest, they think i'm wonderful and always want me to come along with them. But so many times I leave to go cry by myself because I feel so inferior around them as I am a silly little girl and these are all big intelligent men who would probably rather I just strip for them while they chat.
My body image is a big one too. I do like my body, I've started a new workout routine and I didn't know your ass could grow and shape up so nicely when you put your mind to it. And my boyfriend loves it... but its not enough. I make myself puke if I eat too much, I force myself into a corset which is now causing my ribs a small amount of pain... but I'd rather be sexy. I shelled out my last paycheck on sexy clothes I never wear, makeup I rarely wear, and herbs to make me sexier. 


Because in my head, what I have been taught, is my entire worth is based on my body and how fuckable I am. And a good bonus is for me to learn when to shut my mouth and to serve my boyfriend like a good little girl.

Also, even though it's winter right now, I panick almost once a week over swimsuit season coming up. Seeing my boyfriend check out another woman's ass makes immediately think about killing myself... and other men checking me out (and viewing me as a disgusting slut who deserves to be raped because shes in a bikini, like my dad would think), also makes me want to hurt myself really badly.


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mentalhealth,CW2591,2018/01/06,Registering an Emotional Support Animal Can anyone help me get my dog registered as an emotional support animal? All the sites I’m seeing online seem like they might be scams. Thanks!,4.648125,8.062587562500003,5.967500000000001,66.5275,79.625,10.7,26.75,10.125756701596842,4.3766625,150,6,21,6,4,50,28,32,0.087,0.525,0.388,0.8805,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,10,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,8,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994660115860814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5789730413507054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445587218043326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724977157800236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572925703853954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27300995324100624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050763373799686,0.2342837242637149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.584080321107376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369352756564088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smilegirlcan,2018/01/06,"Living in a hostile environment with people who are mentally ill; advice needed My Dad has Asperger/ASD and my brother is Bipolar - TBH they haven't been formally diagnosed but fit every diagnostic (DSM-5) criteria there is. I feel like I am living on a psych ward. There is super highs, and super lows. The other is generally easily agitated. When it gets bad, they conspire together and everyone is against them and we (the other family members) are the issue. Neither work or have aspirations because everyone else is the problem. 

I don't know what to do. I have anxiety myself, but am pretty self aware and have found very effective methods of dealing with it. Any coping strategies you suggest? ",5.4393475073313775,8.08126558870968,6.791847507331378,66.44640762463345,70.53225806451613,9.992961876832846,33.8533724340176,10.230975488527342,4.455283870967742,559,28,81,17,11,189,91,124,0.135,0.6709999999999999,0.194,0.9176,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,3,4,3,7,1,0,6,0,18,3,0,1,0,18,23,9,0,2,3,2,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,12,3,7,21,1,6,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,1,2,61,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934541994510082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462653250387474,0.0,0.15144666992476624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529685737639935,0.12068080343379485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409859520770549,0.0,0.20093559742639988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537870872070926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679844156907267,0.3783380418194817,0.0,0.0,0.18662869649910785,0.0,0.1000996872707642,0.1414299586477758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21706411861287173,0.0,0.0,0.10343126458656657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916639776246726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066294665242584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879925086890534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967182454744292,0.0,0.34962264746357896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950741009547845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679240335150856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724761787580247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140687666535395,0.0,0.18943075593888564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652610628727336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334615760050716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441246717816175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Percythesassydemiod,2018/01/06,"How to function after recovering from mental illness? I'm trying so hard to be a nice person, but everytime something nice happens, there isn't really any feelings I can sense, apathetic without emotions isn't helping and the murderous sometimes poker face gaze is definitely not helpful, answers on how to look approachable would be welcome, I've had anxiety before, fascinating experience, afterwards, which is right now, I don't feel anything terrible, but I can't feel the good either, I don't know if that's a good thing, but it's better than the good old days of utter despair, I've been seeing a therapist regularly for the past months,  they worked okay, everything seems strange, like a bubble that's been popped, how do people fuction like normal human beings? All is slightly messy, different, if that makes sense..I just can't feel anything, suicide seemed like the best option back then, but now, I'm trying, I'm trying so hard, I'm also not doing anything, well I still want to die, but I'm not doing it, I just can't feel anything",8.53676923076923,7.920029266666668,8.595512820512822,68.16865384615387,61.46153846153847,11.082051282051284,37.96153846153846,10.355215969177356,4.0534,837,36,138,16,10,274,118,195,0.189,0.589,0.222,0.8903,1,0,1,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,3,14,16,1,0,9,1,21,2,1,4,1,33,39,15,3,5,14,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,9,1,0,1,11,3,1,0,3,9,7,13,11,32,3,14,0,1,2,0,6,2,0,5,14,84,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779403141824418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316034126502413,0.0,0.0935503315739974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025319075823987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403227168719104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405846625166312,0.0,0.12833418647872702,0.1081541987205266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886593530058941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691610701424433,0.12776540526931046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375580496775102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990497605445093,0.11962157202514605,0.0,0.0,0.3091635801330377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077092564886577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813927483187287,0.0,0.21909286738382686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393474418890824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720653546786351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923188283802258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269150110861207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162849174232703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323799773988525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976094762209487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981671931920232,0.0,0.0,0.12832115994477966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673816529993572,0.08477941552891781,0.10677755998555123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834111415491125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443367040704868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744806403829703,0.22265362895457327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414362533827073,0.12094640659783057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765971626834276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376371900147008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198631893102245,0.08124301412454261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490774964133223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721288977690618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995200520269433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788170449984348,0.0,0.08902744999187988,0.0,0.0,0.08687020814934034,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mister_Elliot,2018/01/06,"Feel like I'm going insane (18M) I've had mental health issues ever since I was a kid. I've always had anxiety and had problems with social situations. But I really progressed and I have a lot of good friends now, and I can even somewhat flirt with girls. I got much better pretty quickly when I went to a different school. I kinda viewed is as a new start and progressed a lot. But ever since my last summer break which really sucked, I've been getting worse and worse. I've been depressed and had increasingly bad anxiety and panic attacks for six months now. But what's really worrying me is that in the last two months or so, I had extremely vivid nightmares, that are brutal, surreal and really dark, *every* night. The fact that they are so vivid is probably due to the fact that I stopped smoking weed for good. The are always really surreal but I can still tell that most of it is kinda about my upcoming finals and the fact that I might fail them (which is a big fucking blow to my ego, because it's just because I was defiant and lazy, I've never had trouble with what I have to learn itself. But I've always based my self worth on my grades. Not because I think grades say anything meaningful about you - there just is nothing else in my life that I could base it on). So far that's all known territory for me. But this time, I remember some things that happen in my dreams, *as if they actually happened*. This has happened at least 15 times now and most of the time I realized that I just dreamt it a few minutes to an hour after waking up and processing all the shit that went through my head in my dreams. A few times I noticed the next day. Once it took me 4 days to realise that I didn't actually fail my German exam. I almost told my parents that I failed it. This whole thing is really worrying me. I also keep having really dark and fucked up fantasies and daydreams. For example, every time I look out of the window of my room at my mom's place, I imagine bombs being dropped into the city and it all blowing up. I don't know what this all means, but every time it happens I feel like something is trying to corrupt, undermine and smother my whole soul. I'm don't believe in anything spiritual at all but that's the only way I can describe it, and it's freaking me the fuck out. I've been trying to get a therapist (covered by insurance) but they are all booked out. The only way to get a session soon is if you are suicidal or pretend to be. What should I do?

Edit: I should add that a lot of my problems are due to the fact that I can't find anything that I want to do with my life. I've done all sorts of tests and I'm qualified for many different jobs, many of which I greatly respect and think are important. But the thought of spending my life doing any of them mortifies me.",4.77371779744346,5.229797454867256,5.735081120943952,81.89841322517209,69.141592920354,8.897246804326453,29.49975417895772,8.920646497554287,2.2313411996066868,2202,78,445,37,36,728,255,565,0.14300000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.076,-0.9898,4,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,2,5,6,20,27,8,1,27,0,48,10,3,0,14,94,79,40,1,8,18,2,2,2,1,3,4,1,2,3,41,28,0,2,14,5,2,5,6,18,0,2,19,7,63,9,55,54,21,63,1,4,4,3,17,21,5,16,35,309,104,14,0.0,0.0,0.13479930731037448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916085435353632,0.0,0.0,0.055233039076744005,0.17240840528263038,0.0,0.0,0.04696808498549687,0.0,0.10567248419017528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050933675631655,0.0,0.0,0.07857394527722299,0.0,0.0,0.057668252317698426,0.1263082275026295,0.0,0.0,0.07781511703738704,0.0,0.06108435246622165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055144563302073187,0.0,0.0,0.08908529944228838,0.0,0.05948750420817547,0.0,0.0,0.14432111079898374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067975617478495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769680835954415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04561825419083766,0.12495052786737484,0.1745763609897438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984493370383131,0.09868328618020156,0.0,0.07565977475812875,0.06312619718912046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053361170761629405,0.19155462429176667,0.10825433148074548,0.0,0.039252498605396736,0.11586063172046986,0.055239373441605066,0.07614686517815676,0.0,0.0,0.2443036944442936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088290413178275,0.07341523602529118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801730926110372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208824415008923,0.06853856877357749,0.061390127692762225,0.0,0.0,0.037957543480681,0.11259802186655808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635268185638425,0.06748551995811664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799907838264375,0.0,0.0,0.1761554678702697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400466618838869,0.0,0.07523446149341766,0.0,0.0,0.06960352330497045,0.07326941669019357,0.0,0.0808907053182093,0.1102576084897221,0.0,0.050772361210309126,0.0,0.05326890582763818,0.06670556135954259,0.07345378292035099,0.06481491684610435,0.0,0.06627187017732228,0.07863349941289485,0.0,0.07355434610453407,0.0,0.10505748178576436,0.0,0.08103551333100248,0.07669098563577227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216055539949189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702662032806168,0.0744661558512305,0.1321760232300185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097236538546715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823970802012595,0.0,0.0,0.05492503364956326,0.0,0.06989972433532997,0.0,0.0,0.0720521841528172,0.0,0.07089651932772986,0.11426625316591164,0.07763446060327453,0.0,0.07040534339735535,0.0,0.05317132816517661,0.0,0.0,0.04888614105725607,0.0,0.05515717929455162,0.057743297113931225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554833982721447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036780349894207,0.0,0.0,0.08019237767528169,0.09177039761582402,0.08851098466194036,0.0,0.05483166593314479,0.2416419442925249,0.0,0.0,0.06599669831395398,0.07673623411950559,0.09378423129388153,0.0,0.0674686480921072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073764187103385,0.10964470511326548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805202879140434,0.0,0.1542221920798208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028224984179727,0.14077081640437586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LimeGreenSockFeet,2018/01/06,"Obsessive behavior but no compulsions? I’m a 21 year old female, and I have had obsessive behaviors all my life (my parents say since age 2). I’ve been doing some research and trying to find out what’s going on with me. At first, I thought it could be some form of OCD, but I’m unsure because I don’t seem to have any compulsions. Most of my obsessions are with actors or characters from movies and shows (male OR female-I’m romantically obsessed with the males, but with the females I seem to be trying to fill some “mommy issue void”) 
Absolutely any and all advice/help would be extremely appreciated!",7.771507246376814,7.146369469565219,8.302391304347829,69.67648550724637,63.0,11.84057971014493,34.81884057971015,11.20814326018867,3.905057971014492,479,18,87,12,6,160,80,115,0.12,0.807,0.073,-0.3814,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,3,0,12,1,0,0,2,26,18,9,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,2,9,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,1,8,0,14,10,7,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,8,4,57,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32853952263428604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147253341573363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286679996356712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078237484704252,0.20547166049360327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372846812681647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191324428117138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521269211628219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062167586135454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534776312291721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268224900151983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920990002197416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398161182167542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998217527919716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177244884990127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280081207210129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159800141734696,0.0,0.0,0.15555736206370324
mentalhealth,Plebsy_Mcplebster,2018/01/06,"Suicide versus quality of life It’s safe to say that attempts at suicide are unilaterally discouraged(except maybe in the cases of terminal illness and/or constant physical pain). People say things like “If you’re having suicidal thoughts, talk to someone. Just know that you’re not alone. Call the XXX-XXX-XXXX hotline.“ It’s almost as if they’re reading it from a cue card. My question is, when did we decide as a society that any amount of mental distress is still better than death? Why does a random passerby get to say that you should continue to suffer and struggle immensely, rather than provide yourself with an immediate end to all of your ailments. Why is this not a basic human right? The right to... not be... a human anymore. 

Also, FUCK LOGAN PAUL.",5.037173913043479,7.489211920289858,5.397898550724636,76.8451086956522,71.10144927536231,7.498550724637681,31.06521739130435,8.344100000000001,2.6891043478260865,607,27,97,10,12,193,100,138,0.21600000000000005,0.72,0.064,-0.9795,0,1,0,0,0,2,25.0,1,2,0,2,5,8,1,2,9,0,8,4,0,0,1,20,12,7,4,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,2,9,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,4,3,18,8,2,9,0,1,0,1,11,4,1,5,6,60,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171247478649422,0.15691566271680002,0.0,0.12116017256636895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303002291885023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502543313263396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399571723056836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470568788705738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372535045231626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258488357937134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419032028378886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006587194323294,0.07915620615552067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326433951832209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701394482767447,0.07401871579522869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220924517775644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268352123698933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612142356921849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503594612670082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972262523639456,0.0,0.15154809926546592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587724699504877,0.0,0.361453579221754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837147357158854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099376520485287,0.0,0.0,0.15838811589875554,0.0,0.4971725280868389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177566742455573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006545846243248,0.0,0.0,0.12027971333119243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27342318337970783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yellmoe,2018/01/06,"I just need some words of reassurance, my life is crumbling. I received really bad news today and long story short, I can't tell my family or my girlfriend about this. The only person who I can tell is my best friend, who received the same bad news to him today. He also only has me.

The only way to fix our problem is to send an email with an appeal that can make or break this whole situation.

If this appeal doesn't get accepted, I'm really considering having a purposefully unsuccessful suicide attempt. Just enough so that I'll be locked in a hospital for a few days. Either that or just pack my bags and run away with him. God knows to where. I just need a break from everyone and everything in my life.

No matter how hard I try, I always end up in this situation... everyone who works hard to help me just gets disappointed by my failure in the end. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I want to wake up in a new life.

Please tell me that this life is worth making effort for. Because right now it feels like I'm working towards nothing.",3.2332720588235278,4.932918158653846,4.725995475113123,82.9719457013575,74.14423076923076,7.778733031674207,24.254524886877828,8.4952907291091,1.5467988687782808,819,25,164,15,17,274,123,208,0.14800000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.113,-0.7696,0,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,1,0,1,5,11,10,0,0,11,0,12,5,1,3,0,32,24,10,1,6,10,0,3,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,13,5,0,0,3,0,1,4,4,5,0,0,0,3,23,5,24,23,7,27,0,2,0,0,20,12,0,5,9,108,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368787485024978,0.09748137085610954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618511835066082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006987896112523,0.0,0.195637107654575,0.07141588687150943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294571588327576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755545279117217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752703906848372,0.12105122271161654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389100855291572,0.10529030752369782,0.0,0.1104422037053258,0.0,0.05923649610042685,0.0836947189581219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905127577939724,0.0,0.12241608077698432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989363913480105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852574218712939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541559714557485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438468066730528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33099685673540025,0.057235443257568276,0.0,0.0,0.10367745218783772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640218135322864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373615973810502,0.0,0.11314789823143827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241225873227806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673022986826197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022942047859486,0.0,0.1285997237796417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210039253291512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010348570629026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004872998233412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633716250507286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814727426172726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071928313414885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22209626320607911,0.0,0.0,0.07953975981821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382007275755613,0.09299125652284962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079806644922706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057876584316942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ciello13,2018/01/06,"Should i change my meds bcs of the side effect? I was prescribe lexapro and xanax. I've taken em for about 3 weeks, so far i thinkg it's been working well. But my sex drive is lowered, and it took me SO much efford to climax. So i can feel the urges building up but i can't orgasm, it's frustrating. 


I am currently single, so no pressure to have sex. Since the meds have been working so well for me, i really don't know if i want to change them. So should i have it change? Or is it just a trade for feeling ""normal""?",0.5688181818181803,2.4613847909090896,2.255454545454544,96.70318181818182,82.9090909090909,5.090909090909091,19.090909090909093,6.11248444174946,-0.26081818181818184,397,10,93,3,11,130,69,110,0.096,0.8170000000000001,0.086,-0.2688,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,10,4,1,1,4,0,14,4,1,1,0,15,20,12,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,1,2,3,2,2,0,5,2,14,2,9,13,2,7,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,2,2,64,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6164232977126612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642168093851692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674624628304613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43150166584264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278476627144998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903086498989378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443164652740038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067285292707867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580176679039587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456458857431555,0.0,0.15580326517710175,0.0,0.3492804306894797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282810177213466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arieswanxiety,2018/01/06,"Does recovering from childhood abuse sometimes take years? About a year ago I realized and accepted that I was often verbally, sometimes emotionally, and once physically abused by my mom and dad as a young child up until I was about 14 y/o (I’m 19 now). I definitely have not recovered from it yet but my irrational brain tells me that I should be over it already. I suppose I’m tired of feeling pathetic for not having ‘gotten over’ the childhood abuse I encountered, so I’m coming here for reassurance hopefully? I would imagine that healing can take however much time depending on the person, but my inner critic tells me otherwise. What do you guys think speaking from professional or personal experience, can overcoming childhood abuse sometimes take years? 

*I have been to therapy a handful of times but my past was never the main focus of any of those sessions. It was always about moving forward. Maybe talking about the abuse in detail with a professional would help me move on. ",6.532777053455018,8.435619192090401,6.919999999999997,69.70013037809649,66.11864406779661,10.417905258583225,35.08431116905693,10.560738912317856,4.263300217296827,795,38,126,22,13,258,115,177,0.188,0.7340000000000001,0.078,-0.9795,1,0,0,0,5,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,8,0,15,4,2,1,1,23,26,10,0,4,6,2,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,4,8,5,0,0,5,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,3,17,3,24,16,2,26,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,4,16,89,25,3,0.0,0.6359597114317964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515910805629237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184631581265584,0.0,0.08932362145399005,0.0,0.0,0.07300153557106231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983786373412282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247233512539442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394252103028304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075406021502462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500868938753218,0.0,0.0,0.05427927723488374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629316551833473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195429863076402,0.0,0.0,0.10662255938490464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784728869603684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257267717744721,0.0,0.22819166696005064,0.0789144444374454,0.0,0.08279477276556367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432401843112035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247751749219976,0.0,0.18746738469085328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185150494502772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421410373805049,0.08628369154285699,0.1876568889634621,0.0,0.12276383576634485,0.0,0.0,0.06878540818966324,0.0,0.0,0.1251930468471551,0.12338278706349792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251641572920902,0.0,0.0,0.2073892274934893
mentalhealth,billys01,2018/01/06,"Before being harsh on my parents, I was okay mentally If i followed this saying of christ ""If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them."" I would be okay now. I believe that god watches everything and that if you are not good with others he will punish you. I also believe in karma. When you harm others it will come back. 


Before being harsh on my parents, I was okay mentally. And when i begun hitting and spitting on my mother few weeks later i got more and more mental illnesses. 

Being harsh on others is something you have to do in order to realise its not the answer. Now it looks impossible and get out of the hole i have dugged myself into. lets hope confession is the ladder even though i dont believe in it much


 ",4.101666666666667,5.644408248407643,5.070461783439495,82.01274150743102,71.61146496815286,6.7619957537154995,25.82218683651805,7.1686216300943375,1.3298581740976645,633,20,114,6,12,207,92,157,0.129,0.8059999999999999,0.064,-0.915,3,0,1,1,0,0,16.0,0,7,2,0,9,7,1,0,4,3,18,4,3,0,0,21,27,14,0,6,7,3,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,11,9,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,3,3,23,5,17,15,4,21,3,0,2,0,15,10,0,5,8,99,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23034273933122335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074117066169266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450979044365497,0.4867778648265206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240589993975236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878835623114552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512271829932636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943434728774195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524360924354906,0.0,0.0,0.12079570370035984,0.11518457801860485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304265175695582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726845290577015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093908661065893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4354096703667208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587000968068384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759051644663692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198305218876372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452911989073405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440524493167749,0.11087231110376386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828382625560112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149723278857373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566505370778085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155227803589583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230645685223087,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lukepop,2018/01/06,"How do you deal with not responding to all the people asking for help on the internet. I  don't want to sound pretentious and I hope I don't but I just want to know, how do you deal with the fact that you sit by as people ask for help online and don't receive it. I just don't know how.",0.2411458333333308,1.821121656250004,2.3981250000000003,96.86770833333335,82.4375,6.141666666666668,16.916666666666664,7.1686216300943375,-0.23512708333333346,222,4,56,3,6,75,35,64,0.041,0.836,0.123,0.7101,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,3,2,18,13,7,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,10,13,1,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,1,0,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4819086340542234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314421182731401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34551854629279644,0.0,0.0,0.25599632281690154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28329692465281064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35737220384898194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040462475013782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thekinginthenorf,2018/01/06,I keep going between extremly hopeful and suicidal. One minute i am dreaming of possibilities than next i am dreaming of dead. I will talk with the psyciatrist next week. I dont know why am i feel like this all the time. My mood changes rapidly. I have major depression and ocd. But maybe i have bipolar or borderline too. Anyone feels the same?,2.4869615384615402,5.3435180615384645,3.7356730769230784,82.75120192307695,83.76923076923076,6.9423076923076925,28.125,8.07648339933343,2.3482692307692306,274,13,50,6,8,89,49,65,0.18,0.736,0.084,-0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,12,13,4,2,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,9,2,5,12,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126187288606186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439759814474543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986412988804052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702966666135173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332269362418149,0.16476213286762806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310723556327267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906764907714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499455920438986,0.0,0.0,0.12674822787868284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267417853998207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169885457131836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905552869025082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628087077578956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26000069553791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25227180987488274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537167452592224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344822197456188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499749121432635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20810772147360973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HypoIncarnate,2018/01/06,"I am emotionally destroying myself for no reason Okay so my wife  and I  have been married for 4 years and have been together for 7 years. We have a 3 year old son. 

Keep in mind we live in Balkans (Europe) and culture, community is vastly different almost conservative.

All of our relationship including marriage has been nothing but perfect, we love each other and live a happy life together. Problem is my own. However it has taken its toll on my mental health over the years. So far it had no impact on our marriage and my wife doesn't even know anything. And I don't think I will tell her. Because it is stupid, hypocritical and insane.

My wife had had 3 sexual partners before me. This is nothing and weren't even relationships but more of a one time things with every one of them. Which has kinda been proven by her inexperience in bed. I trust her and we kinda have been close friends since she was 15, hanging out with same group of people etc.

 I never cared for this. I myself have slept with more than 10 females including some I am not very proud of. This is absolute hypocrisy and I do not understand why for the past 5 years I keep thinking about it, as if I am jealous of her past, I started feeling hate and grudge towards these people, sometimes I would even imagine her with them which would deeply disturb me. I never wanted this and I completely understand how unreasonable this all sounds. These thoughts just come to my mind while I'm literally processing something completely unrelated to the subject. This has so far proven to be very  emotionally exhausting and it is a type of inside conflict I believe. As I am well aware that this should not affect me and yet somehow it does. For 5 years now I have been mentally lacerated by this and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I need a therapist and will go to one after Christmas next week. Hopefully one will help me solve this madness.

I wanted to see if there are any people that felt the same way as I do and how have they solved this problem?

Sorry for bad formatting and please don't go ham on me too much.",3.9517529411764727,6.0268603400000025,4.810235294117652,81.52982352941179,73.1,7.905882352941178,27.764705882352942,8.671277953709913,2.172833823529412,1656,64,311,32,34,536,209,400,0.16,0.7490000000000001,0.091,-0.9852,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,6,0,3,2,16,20,5,1,9,1,47,5,1,4,5,79,72,31,0,11,8,4,2,0,2,6,3,1,1,1,26,30,0,4,11,0,0,4,12,10,1,4,15,4,50,10,41,50,11,37,0,0,1,1,30,13,0,8,19,234,76,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044661608016814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142353778610792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432910164685817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541691504749952,0.055060780010509534,0.0,0.07685922203474271,0.10176441690463332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209151835942997,0.0,0.0,0.07780628073522103,0.18940636243106893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436954056389306,0.0,0.0,0.07904329607709183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320508390466396,0.0,0.0,0.1007353336009845,0.1789748013502631,0.0,0.07610201486907472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04567061788712717,0.0,0.08672537475273244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978423518012264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266662275169314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615176611000444,0.0,0.08917642502876577,0.0,0.09601037652414304,0.0,0.0,0.060542391968143525,0.0,0.0,0.0897122882963888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196500166603828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056855752985216,0.0,0.0,0.049639805561018206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379863749948281,0.0,0.0,0.15951580641609514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152109633747183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820510521171664,0.0,0.1824033407149468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639866301243348,0.0669742328371673,0.13932714739972465,0.0,0.09606078706708884,0.0,0.0,0.1733369679964494,0.0,0.09478002972001257,0.0,0.24482400008439234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244929489959412,0.18785823461073733,0.0,0.0,0.09914882263078008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285607790467666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286829754451899,0.0,0.1939487266833988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197667484990047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471709269369413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953596438304349,0.08933292074981318,0.10111052133077428,0.06393191745787767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894731199763816,0.0,0.0,0.10487333136568146,0.0600073697633436,0.1157521711295464,0.0,0.07170730732069969,0.052668754043459005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806130765950155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905381126564354,0.10655107976214237,0.0716951275493873,0.07245260661115578,0.0,0.08121228272383847,0.0,0.08150352081911785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283274077902864,0.0,0.0,0.3489948520049385
mentalhealth,DaWeakPeeps312,2018/01/06,"Why is there two of me? Im a 14 y/o male and i have had another personality within me since when i found out about my past life,Which is like a year and a half ago...At that time i still do researches about her but now that she's a part of me in such a close level and i know enough of her,I dont anymore,I just think of making her happy i guess?

Let's start off with me,This one is a male for everyone's information,I always live for the sake of others and let the others go before me all the time,I can say that im a selfless person....Though im really weak but im a very hard working guy,I always like to stay and do things alone without anyone watching,And i love to protect others simply because i dont want them to experience what i experien ced,A lot of people think of me as a pathetic guy but no one knows that i work my ass off everyday just to get stronger at the things i want to achieve...Anyways,Here are some of my traits :

- Protective
- Hard - Working
- Shy
- Quiet
- Funny
- Loner 
- Good
- Selfless
- Night Owl 
- Etc..

Now for the other one,She is a girl ( That's why i account her as my past life cuz they have a lot of similarities ),She'll be mad but she is a weak one,Weaker than me,From what i see from her,She was a slave kept on a prison cell that a lot of men use,She is close to my age,Maybe around 14 - 17 , I dont know her name but this one name really marks me up for some reason so i sticked with it,It's ""Anastacia""...Though im not sure yet but i still stick with it...She's a very kind and playful person,Back when i was depressed ( Im still depressed but i covered it up with discipline and im doing great lol ),She would always cheer me up and it works,Every night she goes playing with me but now that i have things to do,I cant stay late anymore so our play time is less..Here's some of her traits that i know,Though i dont know much :

- Playful
- Funny
- Low Presence
- Energetic 
- Kind
- Loving
- Night Owl
- Easy Prey 
- Etc..

And this is where my ""Demon"" comes to play,This demon is also the cause why i became overly protective...First,I account him as my depression and one of the man that harassed her in her life,He doesn't care about me most of the time...But he always fucks me up by saying bad shit about me,The situation is this,The attacker is my demon,The shield is me,And the target is my past life ,All the time,He would try to take form of me,Basically me acting as a girl,He likes to make me act as a girl which i dont want cuz im a guy,And then controlling my mind to do these disgusting things that happened to her back then ( Basically it would look like im having sex with myself,It's disgusting af lmao ) Which i dont allow at all,Like seriously hell no,I always punch myself when he does that these days,Back then i allow him cuz i was still weak and hopeless but not anymore that i've changed,He always tries to make me weaker when im around people by making me unmotivated through words and then when im alone,He attacks me by making me act as a girl,There's alot more i can explain but i can say that he's a disgusting asshole,I once cried when he did that shit to me for the first time,It was disgusting,Doing that even though im a male.

But for anyone's information,This is not my imagination,I have a lot of disorders,Including Depression,Psychosis etc... And im showing symptoms of Schizophrenia aswell,In such a young age of 14 too,And i have never gotten to treatment once but i am sure i have these disorders,I hope that no one takes this lightly and take it very seriously considering how crazy it sounds...Thank you.

",1.9702990813928665,3.380884960264904,3.69429288613544,90.26564783165993,76.88079470198676,6.831232642597738,21.84629352702414,7.542262844301418,0.6174618671224104,2775,73,634,37,62,930,282,755,0.206,0.679,0.115,-0.997,0,2,2,0,0,1,125.0,1,1,2,5,33,42,11,0,36,1,51,13,3,14,5,94,85,50,0,7,18,0,2,4,0,4,6,4,0,9,39,26,0,5,9,5,2,5,15,22,0,8,9,9,78,20,77,69,19,63,3,5,2,5,41,21,5,11,39,372,117,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037154948667766995,0.0,0.0,0.043411100676263234,0.0,0.03351925714850227,0.20925886997461804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04395133124578369,0.0,0.0,0.08313645421138695,0.05861561722746101,0.0,0.0,0.07462613189496503,0.0,0.09536829118745796,0.0,0.09668970128025968,0.034997114246344975,0.025550878172449974,0.0,0.0356664147922379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04273494065773517,0.04305805421068554,0.0,0.036105896061363794,0.0,0.0,0.04701102172933156,0.0,0.0,0.04604144887943925,0.0,0.0,0.10830348921625864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03667993130553504,0.0,0.2947430598044225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043309201630380205,0.14023827319601626,0.02768433565214151,0.0,0.03531503386306115,0.040051395663089365,0.0,0.04100072545399669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130542925638764,0.0,0.0459574239852516,0.0,0.03874956497625197,0.02189875742850529,0.0,0.023821151551110368,0.03515615266643485,0.0,0.046211224253160064,0.04617388698975426,0.12450675051195086,0.03706512665829097,0.044619092963697614,0.07509487087032138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163086226521345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5885774142133354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872956458857794,0.11517641269807576,0.0,0.04728172957609601,0.0,0.0,0.08572146284519727,0.1184226750152426,0.08190983277720604,0.0,0.037011543748016414,0.0,0.035197882556901296,0.0,0.0,0.14253788491713218,0.07565950212131857,0.0,0.13989230046431084,0.0,0.0421090587890828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042322007933468436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03081220696692684,0.0,0.03232728421796654,0.0,0.0,0.11800262494001278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892758060276974,0.1988179126348165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04538965294847326,0.12003728218334553,0.0581169011810137,0.10979518194331063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537033991252099,0.0430954039552278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999701397374464,0.0,0.0,0.033400675580636995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604989701826952,0.034672362659080386,0.04711400082350549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02966751713262268,0.08935121766182393,0.13389288058484358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790084217852383,0.043565534839848034,0.0945441587042871,0.0,0.0,0.0385895241592193,0.0,0.0,0.11138534499363784,0.053714633576987206,0.16472434583046686,0.0,0.14664517115111242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691480711112708,0.0,0.04094467736455513,0.0,0.0,0.03620093676074733,0.0,0.10375231985619032,0.07416731994059632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346478549763735,0.0,0.0,0.04040437958156275,0.0,0.09154343919387303,0.0,0.0,0.08932523191671289,0.0,0.0,0.0269917623902421
mentalhealth,ghc86,2018/01/06,"Think about dying every time I go to bed. Hey all, had this question and this seemed like maybe the right place to ask it. For as long as I can remember pretty much anytime I lay down to go to bed I think about dying. I have to force myself to think of anything else before I can actually fall asleep. I don't know why this happens. I am in fairly good health. No one in my family has died extremely recently. My grandpa died probably about 5 years ago and I had a sister that died when I was very young about 25 years ago. I used to go to bed watching movies all the time so it really wasn't as much of an issue because it kept my mind occupied a little. However since my wife and I have been married and even a little prior 5+ years we don't leave the TV on anymore. I have a fan on for background noise, but now I just always think about mostly myself dying and just not being there and it being the end. It only comes to mind when I lay down to go to bed and in general I would say I am a happy person with a good life and family. Does anyone else have this happen and if so is there anything that helps you?

I do tend to fall asleep pretty easy if I can really think about something else, but tonight I was kind of struggling so I just laid there for 5-10 minutes until I couldn't stand it so I figured I would actually ask somewhere about it.

Sorry for the ranting and repeating myself. Thanks for any replies!",2.4616326530612263,3.9633457925170106,3.957568027210887,88.50737244897958,75.76870748299321,6.8047619047619055,22.113945578231288,7.492282038375204,0.7490843537414968,1109,29,236,14,24,368,147,294,0.049,0.836,0.115,0.9639,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,0,0,21,7,0,1,12,0,25,4,2,1,2,42,45,24,6,5,8,3,0,1,0,2,2,1,4,1,13,13,0,1,10,1,0,7,6,1,0,1,7,2,33,6,39,33,5,37,0,0,1,0,12,11,0,5,19,158,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.16506019182660686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993599325742935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037069901985607,0.0,0.0,0.057511876523106076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387272278012171,0.05913472568609018,0.08665403300536137,0.13919113975080524,0.0,0.15812685240012214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05155432095522392,0.0,0.07196456353127635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285131029001418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5266344532282328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400954825811362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119472224070483,0.0,0.07490571109390029,0.0,0.0,0.05585902433606249,0.0,0.07125557791136701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945395531027295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225692115946835,0.14187000273599162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957352331223867,0.09002849232249584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898961069097241,0.0,0.0,0.0566868450887708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827122071525087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806874886284016,0.04647857272561656,0.0,0.0,0.08954956234296213,0.0,0.0,0.059735721751971664,0.04131761910377317,0.16952677214079925,0.0,0.07484358005002953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496396551549944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707872712433157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243403374702418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057308192308043036,0.0643208353305979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384502939636647,0.08835976500331716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208030551256906,0.09118294607473944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474002226963554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835800852719137,0.0,0.08350467100721111,0.0,0.09580361703584056,0.07222404653395814,0.0,0.06725506807987887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699119448685189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995885232349937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510767600913375,0.0,0.09467145702697637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841304220102272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786255723135474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709516910465856,0.0,0.0,0.098629254788979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304307507738307,0.0,0.06978077702605767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631309746225101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015507893839415,0.0,0.0,0.16338483225763664
mentalhealth,SJCNMVm2,2018/01/06,"Is it normal to spend a lot of free time without enjoyment OR desires? Unhappy zen, satiated yet unsatisfied. The bulk of my free time these days, I couldn't tell you what I wanted or what would make me happy in that moment, nor am I really enjoying anything I'm doing. I'm just killing time.

I'm not sure if this is depression, or burnout, or just normal. A lot of staring at walls, ceilings. No social interaction or desire for it. Might skim the internet for a half hour, close it, go back to just nothing. Listen to some music, turn it off, go back to nothing. Try to read a book, get 1/4 way in then lose what little interest I had and never pick it up again. Etc.

There's nothing I *WANT* or *NEED*, yet I don't feel happy or satiated for it.

I feel an empty void of sorts that yearns to be stuffed with something I have no clue what.",0.7734117647058838,3.1309480470588262,2.9261764705882385,89.22279411764706,86.1764705882353,5.988235294117647,21.44117647058824,7.365786028017652,0.8607294117647055,648,22,136,11,20,219,110,170,0.16399999999999998,0.731,0.105,-0.8390000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,2,9,12,1,0,7,0,11,0,0,2,2,37,25,11,1,11,13,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,14,3,0,0,2,2,3,2,8,4,0,1,1,4,11,10,20,20,4,24,1,3,1,0,5,8,0,13,13,92,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927342182817935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22290010993203008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934744281562878,0.0,0.12483676820116064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164661850316414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465722241144607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572526401814292,0.0,0.1647456935685278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085830422988237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427368853832015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035483905590622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526814164263074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215099176900816,0.0,0.24644592286061576,0.0,0.0,0.0967486983802658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153758630645844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747130999589867,0.11178680527364283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840212134488229,0.4172220471697043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449794069940371,0.0,0.09285239335394106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774826496437302,0.0,0.11158203487366612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660440823816028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668410941965422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25354736081849233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840487089513253,0.15765329970289732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097895173142028,0.11504677174562156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397171652908682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296134826307694,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Llyrian3579,2018/01/06,"What do you call it when you are afraid/extremely uncomfortable having people in your home? I am in my 30's, and have lived alone for about 7 years now and more and more i find i have almost a phobia about letting people in my home. I will go to great lengths to avoid it, putting off hiring a handyman, lying and making excuses to friends. While i am not a very social person, often preferring the tv to live people, i do have friends that i am comfortable spending time with - in public or at their house. I am also not classically agorophobic. Years ago when i battled severe depression i was, but now i have no problem leaving the house, and sometimes go somewhere just to get out of the house for a while. I am not sure what the problem is but i think i may be offending or hurting my friends. Even though they dont say anything after a while i think they realize im just making excuses to keep them out. I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings but i dont know what to do as it seems the older i get the stronger this aversion becomes.",4.46863978127136,5.230278287081344,5.250324675324677,84.00977272727273,69.95693779904306,8.07669172932331,29.76110731373889,8.192908349453996,1.9816791524265205,818,31,165,11,14,266,117,209,0.189,0.718,0.093,-0.9496,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,4,0,12,14,2,1,11,0,23,0,0,2,1,37,36,18,0,4,10,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,2,1,8,8,0,2,8,1,1,3,7,8,0,0,1,2,28,6,24,31,2,24,0,3,0,0,17,8,0,6,13,123,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819720617368324,0.0,0.11092725368685682,0.11473165637910533,0.0,0.08858839866614197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745791686258054,0.0,0.09116010606067414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234459233667015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131157942759696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541214509535384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894897725560037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316722302924855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056012225066667615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124825315328202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567583142847753,0.0,0.11575291449776345,0.0,0.1259143459502738,0.0,0.0,0.12213213254853868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223690650157546,0.0,0.0,0.3834656651322577,0.2371783314893885,0.0,0.11965826639528462,0.0,0.0,0.09846376728709927,0.0,0.0,0.060880191466230874,0.0,0.0,0.11729694311701548,0.0,0.11327707966694198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563639959396514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788913523890349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303966577296806,0.0967262819153318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199742827362064,0.0,0.11136157205601536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809438805165251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008473020297803,0.0,0.12514657999473958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292329253230765,0.0,0.0,0.1095613743450509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440609611490344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419629722831283,0.10883792825269158,0.0,0.06459501189045018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914027005753413,0.06533919768157738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267362768422134
mentalhealth,Starman926,2018/01/06,How to get over feelings of extreme hate? Long story short someone I was close to just did some very shitty thing to me. It wasn’t there intention to make me feel horrible but they took no precautions in how I felt. They only gave me a very weak apology and they are displaying no empathy for what they did. Every fiber of my being hates them right now. I want to say to their face how horrible they are but my friends who I’m venting to tell me not to. I don’t see why I shouldn’t. In my head they deserve to be hurt the way they hurt me x10. How do I stop thinking like this it isn’t healthy help,0.4993363329583786,2.6513865433070904,2.070691788526436,96.3739566929134,85.14173228346456,5.8332958380202475,20.88245219347581,7.1686216300943375,0.4336326209223853,469,15,109,7,14,152,83,127,0.245,0.64,0.115,-0.9677,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,9,0,7,7,2,0,2,0,12,3,2,6,0,20,25,7,0,2,4,0,3,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,7,5,23,2,15,15,1,11,0,2,1,0,16,6,0,1,4,72,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418202710445887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970590302167873,0.0,0.1871007995359084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505520873726918,0.0,0.10180883302058864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3847773611865628,0.19998753819981646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061379066222045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172136701952594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520111489412596,0.0,0.0,0.1724492460597734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007378985163862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820348721001714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664135035208295,0.0,0.15496433730616646,0.0,0.0,0.1552820434705379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510834149604148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291572670169088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032045393961842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945953698994814,0.12486151733621115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650200059175706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215677919085341,0.11493632787261653,0.1546746350253927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583520340761685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LarryBooker,2018/01/06,"If someone is out there... Who's not fake... Or doesn't like to start trouble... Please remind me there are good ppl in this world Please... I really really need to know you exist. No one gives a damn. Whatever happened to help thy neighbours? Or even friends... They seem to not exist anymore. I'm always one to give, a charity man. I always make sure ppl around me are at their best. I've got people to quit smoking, high school mates to stop from killing themselves. But then when I needed a little bit of help just a little, everyone said I wasn't willing to ""get better"" and that I'm not worth their time if I'm not willing to help myself, or ""how can you stop ppl from killing themselves if you yourself are suicidal you hypocrite"". 

So if the world doesn't need me, let me know honestly instead of me having to find out that I'M fake too.",2.5536127744511004,4.532929550898203,3.3076886227544904,91.17778043912178,76.8443113772455,6.129980039920159,23.70818363273453,7.03164865440522,0.7851160878243508,653,21,135,7,15,206,102,167,0.156,0.693,0.151,-0.2444,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,3,3,10,13,3,0,5,0,12,0,0,2,1,29,30,13,3,7,13,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,2,4,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,3,1,17,7,19,24,2,16,0,0,0,0,18,10,1,8,7,84,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936924577080566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072980795478245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734755810286665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383367341226491,0.116583889633568,0.14391306669133586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706572628074605,0.0,0.0,0.125959455765183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048089746310918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184364066447113,0.0,0.06887039819614416,0.25290710302885816,0.0,0.1105641834285145,0.10542832585979736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656780255596685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650680743289477,0.13927484267677734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916781278124808,0.0,0.14488941541486045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479466356433514,0.0,0.06440048959356412,0.2642361143236119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799073161119839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29322810597156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864899877655635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913872428453939,0.0,0.0,0.2893970834028937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020656979759255,0.0,0.0,0.16889426234866114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539080413706274,0.0,0.0,0.13340866225656173,0.0,0.12000378354070702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169047799651896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330272391414464,0.0,0.0,0.22041448934181634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418945207425654,0.0,0.12423858949447415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686517803343823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hollowed_bK,2018/01/06,"Coming to terms, what to expect and advice. Hey. For some background im 20 years old and have know for a while i may have some mental health issues. Over the past little bit my recent girlfriend has showed me that being open with it is okay and its good to get help. All 3 if someone can help and say something that would be beautiful. Thank you all
Coming to terms:
Its a lot to take in and im still stressing which isnt helping a lot of the things running through my mind and its a lot to finally deal with. Im scared what they will find will ruin my life, how im seen or even just ruin me. In the sense of them finding something i didnt think i would have.
What to expect:
How should i feel now coming to get help? As ive said i have never gotten help over the id say 7-8 years ive known. My mother suggested therapy after i couldnt let some things in the past go. What would help me not freak out after hearing what i have, what the meds could do or how it can effect my family and girlfriend...
Advice:
For advice its more for my paranoia. I have known about my paranoia for a while and its more self diagnosed. But i always have the feeling of me getting jumped at night, my friends secertly hate me and just put up with me, my girlfriend is not wanting to be with me or is wanting to leave me for other guys and im more of a burden of my family than i am helpful. It  freaks me the hell out. I just want some advice that would help calm down and show me its not here and i feel as if its ruining my relationship with people and i dont want my girlfriend to think i dont trust her. Someone help? This is all still scary...
Thank you all who read this
Hollowed",2.7546835164835173,3.79033162,3.7862857142857145,91.89325274725277,74.22857142857143,6.527472527472527,22.60439560439561,6.67199483983844,0.3863406593406591,1297,32,292,10,26,419,158,350,0.104,0.767,0.13,0.7558,2,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,2,1,12,17,2,2,14,1,36,3,0,4,5,77,61,26,0,15,12,1,3,0,5,8,3,4,0,2,26,24,0,0,11,3,0,7,9,10,0,0,4,8,43,7,44,43,17,37,1,3,1,0,31,12,1,13,18,211,69,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29039674256495884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181851587559535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110974869521052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199297198044413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593176717171125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659379762574199,0.0,0.07540679282688267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741439062912965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049070451634135384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007544340284628,0.0,0.11269575640265135,0.0,0.0,0.08138538801566009,0.13580664411474924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057399319536548324,0.0,0.11644656358152575,0.0,0.04222296246317003,0.06231423830201701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356268849273062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733498920227641,0.0,0.07897099204009529,0.08373467834068972,0.0,0.4481790025791736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40125106097214464,0.07754357900586159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04083001058583795,0.0,0.0,0.07866656319257266,0.0,0.07597059487730932,0.05247601224513115,0.0,0.07446205310513812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18948617213748387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252382728965288,0.0,0.0748708249468249,0.0,0.07501570814100826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730007238074961,0.0,0.0,0.06971983690919213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795900030344054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184395882888087,0.051506068709078034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468593735328084,0.0,0.0,0.07431405248715155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335631025761273,0.07976389587041052,0.0,0.0,0.07067055720562881,0.1181630579692582,0.07438120212126352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775047901397936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589804123034498,0.1143902209031086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866248486958725,0.0,0.08510346583656947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585980251651645,0.0,0.0,0.13679977028401552,0.08496160373636273,0.0,0.09871519499220838,0.09520912338674684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528198047726198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110515479718825,0.0,0.0,0.09568573272142032
mentalhealth,Penny_Awful,2018/01/06,"Am I hearing voices and should I worry? For as long as i can remember ive experienced something that i am hesitant to call hearing voices. I recall it being worse when i was younger and thought nothing much of it but as ive come to develop other mental health issues im more worried about it. What i occasionally hear are many quiet murmuring voices, i can never tell if something is being said and so never pay it much attention as it doesn't really affect me. In the past there have been some vivid dialogue, such as calling my name, but this often happened when i was ill, during which i always experience vivid fever dreams and often begin to dream while awake. Ive finally decided after many years to go see a doctor about sever depressive episodes, is this something worth bringing up or is it something normal that im taking out of context? I have always had vivid dreams and more recently in my depressive episodes have experienced feelings of being outside and inside my body at the same time. Are these actually voices or do i just detach from reality?",7.062133333333335,7.5897214800000015,7.7840000000000025,68.94033333333336,64.2,10.266666666666667,34.16666666666667,10.125756701596842,3.650266666666667,856,35,139,18,12,286,123,200,0.098,0.8340000000000001,0.068,-0.7156,0,0,4,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,3,0,25,5,1,1,2,29,38,20,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,14,8,0,0,5,3,2,3,3,2,0,0,6,16,19,0,22,28,6,21,0,2,4,0,8,5,0,6,13,108,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.11515905353044592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638467654067546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108059049647125,0.0,0.0,0.2409992858424371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165367977112126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328070872734152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078646993143803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543473699145225,0.0,0.0,0.05966852960683521,0.0,0.0,0.12927229709588078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706682220101802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435432788025488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254372780406143,0.3990117076152344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549383747070054,0.12316997961839035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443360989723798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392837374974489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892458538721055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734993207056379,0.0,0.1820305133642523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562305399968588,0.11323212259156258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265225143028547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559912275846448,0.0,0.11651893496723295,0.0,0.1336803712700193,0.0,0.11225289317610178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403731661562134,0.0,0.0,0.13331576106327586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633941419215129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872753651113467,0.0,0.10314443380103444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368538872117158,0.06881157416709825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396862631008433,0.12026051398402443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599346006570834
mentalhealth,noodiagnosis,2018/01/06,"Random moments of feeling physically trapped in life?! (Not the depression trapped feeling.) So basically for 5 months now I am experiencing Suicide-OCD.(Diagnosed 2 times, but still doubting it. Probably because of the ocd itself. ) but also because of this feeling.
So with the S-OCD i am also experiencing some other scary feelings like:

-Weird feeling of physically trapped in life.

-Weird feeling like life is pointless.(Not the depression thing, neither the anhedonia thing.)

-Weird horrific feeling like between life and death and like will do something soon.(happens when the thoughts arrive. And with anxiety INTENSE. anxiety.)

-Weird feeling like sudden wave of waking up everyday for the whole my life idk?!?! And the trapped feeling arrives sometimes. Idk.

P.S. I DON'T WANT TO DIE. AND I DON'T THINK ABOUT SUICIDE ON PURPOSE. AND I DON'T FANTASIE ABOUT IT, I NEVER WISHED NOT BEING BORN OR NOT EXISTING ETC.
But these feelings make me feel like I am suicidal which terrifies me. And when the anxiety is high I ask myself if i want to die to see my reaction, but there is confusion like i can't say 100% yes or no WHICH TERRIFIES ME EVEN MORE.

I will try to describe the 'trapped in life' feeling. So basically it happens all random and like I suddenly become aware of the world i see through my eyes and start to feel trapped in life, and no escape idk

What is this shit guys holyfuck. ",4.223386350491612,7.3640145182186245,4.427685078079817,79.03023785425106,77.90688259109312,7.253267784846733,33.51778484673221,8.306716005460428,3.2218861769809157,1114,61,180,23,28,347,126,247,0.319,0.517,0.16399999999999998,-0.996,0,6,1,0,0,4,50.0,0,0,0,0,13,17,1,2,11,1,15,10,3,1,2,48,39,24,5,4,10,0,13,8,0,2,7,1,0,1,13,12,0,0,15,1,0,0,11,9,0,0,1,19,20,8,25,35,6,21,0,2,3,0,3,8,1,8,21,124,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308336454292233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909624651845202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778856891487138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144606782754716,0.09189707809911683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433344487397332,0.08445471717740903,0.1727142473952065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279929818616364,0.054958326155614017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5469443021625296,0.29722028627569713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238934210776512,0.14716172679606454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791418341151377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114075966676825,0.32521114912672805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055542215440391327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641610596458554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417540417441105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971266773397675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617061452621417,0.0,0.0,0.13261255357135546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541216891403412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405784805363908,0.08229517939891767,0.0,0.058895293832915925,0.0,0.0664502906405061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820328451575484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055985225786713,0.05331654673867898,0.0,0.0660581303134281,0.04851945426549813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649300332867518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815687375465366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289914402795024,0.09568548862103048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WalkingOnSunShine12,2018/01/06,"How do you improve your overall mental health? It’s 2018 and I feel like I’m physically healthy but once I’m alone, I feel weak. My mind and thought gets foggy.",-0.003636363636363882,2.3447922727272754,1.2870303030303027,97.59054545454543,95.96969696969695,3.852121212121212,21.75151515151515,5.6839178017228535,0.005489696969696922,127,5,28,1,5,40,27,33,0.182,0.659,0.159,-0.4215,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,8,7,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651099494120447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564948211498408,0.2518441824747536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841799468881019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747179651925687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722260806323387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35526264076964964,0.0,0.3559501126414405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37542799554394857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798657526553285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,softscarves,2018/01/06,"My mother is beyond repair. I'm 18 years old and I've been living in a small house with my older sibling, father, and mother for the whole of my life. I go to university and have a weekend job. All of this would be good if it weren't for my insane mother. It all began maybe 5 years ago, but it’s only getting worse. Here are some of the things she has done:

- Abused my father on numerous occasions, bringing up false accusations of things he’s done over 20 years in the past such as affairs which never happened.

- Visits my father's work on the same day every week and calls his phone whilst he's at work. When he doesn't answer she starts the accusations again

- Is a woman herself but has a hatred of women, especially oriental women.

- Questions me about my friends and whenever I say I have friends whose race is anything other than white, starts making racist remarks.

- Has an irrational hatred of doctors, dentists, psychiatrists, etc.

- In our household we have a broken car, chair, shower, fridge, and washing machine. We have a Christmas tree all year round because she ‘likes how it looks’.

- When we changed the TV she was screaming and crying literally all day and punched my father. We still keep the old TV under the kitchen table.

- Says things never break. They only break ‘because of other peoples’ frustration’.

- Whenever something breaks, says we should wait for it to ‘fix itself in X days’. We wait X days, she says we should wait more.

- Kept a hair dryer which was broken to the point where electricity would spark whenever you switched it on. (Again because it would ‘fix itself’)

- Has the same routine and never deviates from it

- Incredibly talkative, cannot stay quiet for more than an hour. Whenever I’m working on assignments, she starts talking to me and distracts me.

- Whenever we have an argument and raise a good point, she either says it ‘doesn’t matter’, laughs, or covers her ears and cries.

- Believes she is a ‘child’, even dressing in kids’ clothing, but still argues she has the right to decide what happens in the household.

- Constantly comes up with conspiracy theories relating to the world, celebrities, even my friends. Mind never at peace.

I think that's most of it, but there's definitely a lot I've missed out. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m at a dead end with nowhere to go. If I leave, my father and mother will be in danger of physically harming themselves or one another. If I stay, my mental health will only deteriorate more. There are no signs of things getting better. I feel trapped for ever.",4.720006662225185,6.686336852320673,5.057859204974463,81.01724850099934,70.77215189873421,7.521119253830777,28.085498556517877,8.20500826718156,1.9972877637130808,2004,74,357,30,38,634,251,474,0.18600000000000005,0.745,0.069,-0.9968,2,1,1,0,1,0,77.0,9,1,1,4,17,16,3,1,27,0,36,8,2,2,9,72,63,26,1,8,10,9,4,2,3,7,5,8,2,5,25,26,1,5,7,3,0,6,10,7,0,1,8,14,46,9,51,46,15,71,0,1,3,0,56,26,0,9,36,243,71,6,0.0,0.0980568695558868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336159884029934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678090125172222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681042912690789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513488788208806,0.0,0.0,0.09324199184632652,0.0,0.07319434720964378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450704297531697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754893014364475,0.07129026839219438,0.0,0.08943397890401825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181558171010487,0.21349298389500526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470819628906535,0.0,0.16938408627679016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330064794626336,0.0,0.09229909078201898,0.1093241788292134,0.07486100737345354,0.06972872901695179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369171681372489,0.05912364149604856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918201259021081,0.0,0.08647719429981289,0.0,0.09406864101107427,0.13883004343487454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636849466189006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796983284851201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150176517097305,0.09549373616157764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212636456839538,0.07356074248430752,0.0,0.0,0.045482640063778106,0.0,0.0,0.08763071396271614,0.0,0.0,0.05845571780859556,0.0808645484482987,0.0,0.07307844909654541,0.0,0.0694974164345293,0.0,0.0,0.07035945081191156,0.0,0.0,0.055242831415415763,0.0,0.08314337629827581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340244671686971,0.0,0.08356383952764253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553179419087414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368504683969993,0.0,0.05608020493314152,0.18882774773744854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790036254224369,0.057375248024250376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564695857544845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270995385254688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706764455063202,0.0,0.32906970616334097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637125630082099,0.0,0.0,0.17573350806639487,0.17642194165337668,0.1321842196697581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665192191763996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199278235903078,0.05302915952817863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638494633358337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923983984340745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075043307564512,0.0,0.08433934057485992,0.1763706333922498,0.0,0.0,0.21317847721140476
mentalhealth,evanvc,2018/01/06,[Question] How to change your beliefs to stop worrying? I have had irrational fears and worries and concerns regarding my GF. A CBT therapist said that I would have to change my beliefs to not worry about things that I actually shouldn’t worry about. How can I change my beliefs? Thank you,4.487358490566038,7.14615886792453,4.574188679245285,81.14769811320755,73.52830188679245,8.013584905660379,31.35471698113208,8.841846274778883,2.9467539622641508,232,11,40,5,5,72,35,53,0.219,0.6579999999999999,0.123,-0.6856,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,12,8,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,9,1,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.1654416822726052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5380365798056395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077398315589575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991797464161225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612665866701606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173883241847215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608502948953756,0.0,0.19684317572183307,0.11263150580907555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6886839960794564,0.0,0.12043278378137245,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BillOfRightsOf,2018/01/07,"Brain Fog Every day. I Need Help. Hello.  I am 15.  I suffer from a brain fog that comes to me every day.  The brain fog is at its worst starting at about 1PM or 2PM.  It is a terrible blankness in my mind every time.  I zone out often.  I have some clumsiness.  When I talk, it sometimes comes out as a mess.  Instead of saying ""Don't push the door"", I would say something like ""The door... Don't push it!"" and mess up with ""that"" and ""those"" often.  On multiple occasions, my swim instructor told me to do one thing, but I forgot and did the other thing instead.  Forgetting is so embarrassing and frustrating because my mom will ask me questions and rhetorical questions for me to remember stuff.  I hate it.  She would ask ""Do you have your robe?"" and ""Do you have your goggles"" because it's something I forget often and she probably already knows that I don't have them some of the time.  Curiously.. I make good grades with little effort.  I find that really strange considering my situation.

What has caused this?  Well I have a few theories:

- I have wasted a lot of my life just playing video games hours on end day to day.  I've stopped and I regret spending the amount of time that I used.

- When I was younger, I think I ate a lot of chocolate.  Chocolate has caffeine, which affects the brain, and if I expose myself to it many times, the brain probably developes differently.

- When I was younger, I used to have sugar free syrup with a side of waffles.

Can someone help?  Give advice?  I really want to get out of this brain fog.

Thank you!",2.3433333333333337,4.7198891891891925,3.4863783783783795,87.64060360360365,79.4054054054054,6.649369369369371,24.39369369369369,7.793537801064563,1.3701796396396406,1184,43,235,20,30,382,157,296,0.141,0.775,0.085,-0.9526,1,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,0,5,1,1,14,15,2,1,15,0,26,9,6,5,0,49,45,17,0,6,4,1,0,1,0,3,1,2,2,0,21,17,2,2,6,4,2,5,3,9,1,1,6,3,42,7,30,36,7,31,0,2,0,0,22,11,0,11,16,164,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692050708950975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815808128074696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631171332878467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844568544082056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5957829398583929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137572828437283,0.0,0.15324438637304869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294605003585833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293338660688544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878293256995157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248315905894108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812983111884464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046472488021902014,0.08532854915902442,0.0,0.07460669350857169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781930201098287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924206656641945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759742580316601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888436685955205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282772394889131,0.04345627525947852,0.0891508542094177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124351623841886,0.0,0.0,0.05937454012090713,0.09018092017034747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981372633457214,0.104176681410267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659549917882875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027454227956765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918053987400357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928778933258687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396676641264968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007625425440586,0.0,0.0,0.14147256373769532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998306278712388,0.0,0.0,0.07536669653151998,0.1369554757282461,0.08797341611665213,0.0,0.06295897559880344,0.0,0.0,0.07436583774801445,0.0,0.0,0.10182599627318807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149430879276789,0.0,0.08189282908471499,0.0,0.0,0.11818830652679573,0.056995303812490676,0.0,0.0,0.2074688783001876,0.0,0.0,0.08499514236321767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364776796016516,0.0,0.0,0.0524647710995901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799763612549563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637446923204715,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,john15f,2018/01/07,"Am I depressed? Or do I have some type of mental/personality disorder? Any experience is appreciated. I’ve kept this hidden for a while but over the past 1.5 years i feel as if I’ve gotten progressively worse. I’m 23 and I feel really disconnected the majority of the time. I’m not the same how I use to be. I feel kind of like a zombie and lack emotions most of the time. I do have anxiety, I don’t particularly “like” going places but I won’t refuse. I just find it pointless to hangout with my friends. I do go on dates occasionally, but i lose interested in women relatively quickly. For whatever reason I’m usually much more skeptical of people for no particular reason. Especially someone I’m considering dating. Almost as if I’m trying to find something wrong with them.

I’m not particularly happy or sad. Just existing. I do genuinely laugh occasionally but mentally I dont enjoy life the same way as I did before. For some reason I’m extremely irritated for no reason to particular people. Especially my parents. I’ve gotten a little violent a couple of times (throwing things). Everything they do annoys me, more so on some days. 

My energy is usually drained everyday. Especially if I don’t have to get up early and do anything. I’ll lay in bed and just be on social media or maybe play video games until the day is over to help distract myself. 

I want to see my doctor and tell him anymore but I don’t want to become dependent on a medication. Sometimes I feel like it’s just a phase I’ll get out of eventually. But I’m starting medical school in the summer and I need to get better by then because I have to be at my best as a student and can’t let it get into my career. I eat very healthy and I workout 6 times a week which helps me but I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

Edit: also my sleep patterns are sometimes pretty abnormal and awake several times a night",2.5129947689625105,4.87061544623656,5.301511188607961,74.96078029642545,78.6774193548387,8.322696890438825,26.451903516419648,9.068930737419137,2.5873550421389133,1494,61,276,40,37,535,195,372,0.16,0.6990000000000001,0.141,-0.8256,1,1,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,2,4,9,20,3,1,17,0,28,6,1,7,0,60,56,32,0,7,20,1,4,3,1,1,4,0,1,1,7,13,1,2,11,5,0,3,11,8,0,0,4,5,37,12,44,47,12,42,0,3,1,0,12,15,0,12,26,181,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327666214778216,0.0,0.0,0.07449233491276659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334546089505473,0.0,0.07125979499716689,0.0,0.1847603174240167,0.0,0.0,0.07665483577535805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05678361443706659,0.10287728962632613,0.07926412283154533,0.0,0.09775558959263136,0.0823839520313338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030691371163878,0.0,0.12014859353725513,0.0,0.0802302962261922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675841952484924,0.09534337344045192,0.0,0.0,0.10917156580017708,0.0,0.0,0.09531610614520347,0.0,0.1047816534191106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371756605281322,0.09111895763841492,0.0,0.0,0.188398548419418,0.06654665873277273,0.0,0.0,0.17027554164627784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196776187146849,0.0,0.19466894093869164,0.0,0.10587902897080596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916032452121763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124873488605161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700179900974204,0.05119301940818487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525258706042114,0.06579487672875932,0.13652572912466027,0.09336116437615656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421146181896614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358208913403362,0.0,0.0,0.1876784402568011,0.187747372073377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847625621931043,0.06906983544218118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741533281075702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343248682789838,0.0,0.08892258945163396,0.12915750631608716,0.08133532940874151,0.09732233370032913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947674369421428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967452643514005,0.3830964690429888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427316987324492,0.07422880228646862,0.0,0.0,0.10523342887468258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321766420503916,0.09495509404646196,0.0789260249468686,0.07171172275951558,0.18425623928415813,0.0,0.06593232697498247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141754847027279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188498142187249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715837136627582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324300168756916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045203070551846,0.2051839934327232,0.0768588289856055,0.10988502941498073,0.073938445459793,0.07471962580230543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492820761653184,0.0,0.10184533077425237,0.0,0.05998579846061935
mentalhealth,FlamingMoes,2018/01/07,Effective therapy for stalking/obsessions? What is an effective way to break unhealthy obsessive habits? Would treating it as OCD be the best way to come at it?,5.104523809523808,8.328438499999997,5.328571428571427,73.48309523809526,74.71428571428572,10.876190476190477,37.904761904761905,10.504223727775694,5.510890476190476,130,8,20,5,3,41,24,28,0.139,0.575,0.28600000000000003,0.7677,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42228447078632136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466241686248468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4601691138436579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6387984040987362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858469818680978,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timthetwig96,2018/01/07,"I just need your opinions please? Are some of the symptoms I’ve mentioned associated with mental health disorders? I deal with:

- Depression 
- Constant Irritability 
- Sexual intrusive thoughts
- Violent intrusive thoughts
- Self-harm
- Gender dysphoria
- Paranoia
- Short-term memory
- Reckless spending
- Constant tiredness 
- Suicidal thoughts
- I constantly feel like everything isn’t real. And that everybody else knows what’s really happening except me
- Difficulty with social situations 
- Slow cognitive functioning 
- Physical tics
- Slight Stammer


",12.891600000000004,16.876125560000006,10.997,38.48350000000002,53.4,16.2,53.83333333333334,13.816669648895859,10.293533333333334,447,31,39,21,6,138,66,75,0.279,0.665,0.056,-0.9587,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,15,9,1,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,5,1,5,6,1,4,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5546118898270377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763701743577921,0.14734611317433188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606606114568773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429106930523195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375062217793928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650034694819211,0.12221557155128235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128050961982162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184406658325025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940180054949322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357830097039691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240273833537206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684948540266816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18778829702421448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472009786136665,0.1095946287041912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846788870963834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192294771322852,0.0,0.17438878692911627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871276056793079,0.0,0.0,0.17781178446231133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074418465691135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fntastk,2018/01/07,"Is he just not interested? Confused about (almost) dating someone with a mental illness. We met online through and app and started off really strong, with a great connection, etc. talking for a month straight. We met in person and got pizza, talked, hugged, nothing more than that. Afterwards we continued speaking for a week and he started to get flaky on me. He blamed it on his mental health (depression). We would often speak for a day and he would just leave in the middle of a good conversation, or it would go on for two or three days before happening. I was the one who always reached back out. We admitted we had feelings for each other and he was ready to take a step into working to get to know each other better but he disappeared for a month after telling me all that stuff. He would ignore me completely during this time, not even reading my messages or interacting with me on social media when I reached out, even though he would sometimes post his own stuff. 

I finally got him to talk to me and he said he is suffering a loss right now and feels very numb, it happened shortly after we saw each other in person. He said he was ready to start to try and form a stronger relationship with me but now he doesn't even know what he wants right now. I asked him if he wanted to meet me at a coffee shop the other day because I was with some friends in his town, and he played along all day like he was going to show up, but he ended up just ignoring my messages when the time came around.

I know depression is serious and different for everybody, but I'm really struggling between continuing to reach out and just giving up completely because being ignored makes it feel like he doesn't want anything to do with me despite what he told me (which is, that he cares but is just scared and numb, lost, etc.). He is also active on social media and I know that's an easy way to release dopamine and everything, but I still feel ignored. I've talked to him about this and I even straight up told him to tell me if he wanted to be friends or not but he kind of just pins everything back to his recent loss and feelings. In his messages, he sounds extremely ashamed and sorry for what he has been doing, and he acknowledges that I'm a very sweet and caring person, but it's him that's dealing with trauma. I also told him multiple times that I'm here, etc. I know it's horrible to doubt the accuracy of his loss, but I'm just confused with what's going on because the other half of me believes that he just *isn't* interested in me, because all the signs are there. I also hate texting, it's so easy to twist things and lie, which may be the other reason I am doubting him because there's no body language or vocals for me to observe.

I've never dealt with anyone with a mental illness before, my friend has depression but she manages it very well. Any advice or input would be appreciated. 

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mentalhealth,iamreeterskeeter,2018/01/07,"Need help getting pointed in the right direction. Hi everyone.  I am hoping someone will have suggestions for subreddits or online support groups for adults who were parentified as children.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety as long as I can remember.  I stumbled onto a term that has switched on a huge light bulb in my mind.  The parentified child.  I read more into it and I am the poster child for this disorder.  I contacted some of my oldest friends (one who has a BS in Psychology) and they said that my picture would be next to the definition.

I was parentified at age 11 after my mother became life-threateningly ill.  My dad couldn't cope and emotionally collapsed, and as the eldest, I stepped up.  That has continued to be my life for the next 29 years up to today.  

I've just begun therapy because I am having suicidal ideation and have only had 2 appointments so far.  I am trying to find a support page for those like me as I work through recovery.  I have some huge changes on the horizon in terms of how I see myself, my roll in live in recovery, and how to live for myself.  I would like to connect with those on the same road.

My parents weren't addicts or narcassists, are/were aware of how screwed up it is, and feels/felt incredible remorse for how it happened, so I'm not sure if I would be welcome or relevant in /r/raisedbynarcissists.  

Does anyone have ideas?  Thank you so much.",4.8788202247190995,6.493310468164798,5.703391385767791,77.94991853932585,69.7865168539326,9.235131086142324,32.45112359550562,9.642632912329526,3.195884044943819,1113,51,206,26,20,364,158,267,0.104,0.79,0.106,-0.1408,4,0,0,1,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,1,8,12,1,0,12,0,27,4,0,4,1,34,37,24,1,7,6,3,0,2,1,4,3,1,0,4,11,10,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,5,3,29,9,41,24,8,35,0,2,1,1,19,22,1,7,14,147,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497004511432262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050503939044884,0.0,0.0,0.09601822323499516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370977020312223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526769304701204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827460662734665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573820697091806,0.0,0.12017076673174212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446794319403778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121635603454718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184995181588802,0.0,0.1255091508679808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609407076350363,0.0,0.0717446946324789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143274349218385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204355111266699,0.0,0.0,0.13639100347386204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550189963999032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398814485863225,0.13417647003908495,0.0,0.24251439039382194,0.12152500064171864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865533445599207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094693212672344,0.1018219799875624,0.0,0.0,0.2920854520906613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305244487710633,0.10443901199811334,0.0,0.0,0.15247901687372975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981298410661146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735842875758064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555822709144845,0.11727161228150415,0.13062397181026034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942727129038103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635186447440188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020717868988834,0.31166109444781176,0.12942366965071486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642697357851074,0.1570388372504471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016450519898226,0.0,0.0,0.0932321267447584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997151835385523,0.0,0.0,0.29264726584431355,0.0,0.0,0.08843039412636326
mentalhealth,carbondash,2018/01/07,"Social media addiction recovery I have been addicted to social media and my own smartphone for as long as I remember. I am starting to feel the negative effects on my mental health - forgetfulness, trivial mistakes, clumsiness. Now that I have acknowledged the problem, I am determined to fix it. Aside from ditching social media (which I will do), what advice could you give me to restore my mental health? Any brain training exercises?",8.310675675675675,10.089618986486489,8.360378378378384,61.48327027027028,61.83783783783784,11.325405405405405,40.47567567567568,11.20814326018867,5.511857297297298,351,19,46,10,5,114,54,74,0.135,0.8059999999999999,0.06,-0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,8,6,1,1,0,9,11,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,11,0,9,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938378632458722,0.0,0.1765145379848535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283806840513885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164852133238045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422243617476108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133453862035136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328165626337932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840133481123971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598563872659825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640754082102667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284340406961213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046243658591151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524042373242698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785445991908714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gxdsandm0nsters,2018/01/07,"Would anyone be intersted in joining a PTSD group on kik? I just made a group on kik for people who have PTSD, I am hoping for it to be a safe place where people can be free to be themselves, vent, realize they are not alone and make new friends! If anyone wants to join search #TheCirclePTSD on kik. We will be happy to see you joining us :)",5.2158695652173925,4.980812579710146,5.673731884057973,85.1088586956522,68.13043478260869,8.63913043478261,27.39492753623189,8.07648339933343,1.464997101449276,264,7,57,3,4,85,49,69,0.0,0.7120000000000001,0.28800000000000003,0.9684,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,11,0,0,2,0,12,16,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,6,10,8,0,7,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,1,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23494411940937626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31723209867085805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526071401295326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24148186389876605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253093361556188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146472400742164,0.1514215158461102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219089351782268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145330101763809,0.0,0.23700586554559394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5303418421974203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807669510729968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728678961339818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379969179115814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114494239784466,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lovinlipstick,2018/01/07,"Coping with Anxiety - Question Hey y’all, sooo although I’ve never been clinically diagnosed, I’m like 99% sure I struggle with some sort of Anxiety Disorder and have been struggling for a long long time. 

One of the ways that I have learned to cope with my anxiety is by digging my nails into my skin - either my wrists/arms, or the back of my neck/upper back. 

I don’t love doing this because it basically leaves my skin pretty raw for the next few days (esp if it’s really bad) but it’s one of the only things that really make me feel under control. That being said, I still want to stop doing it. 

Does anyone else do this? If so, have you found another less harmful way to cope when Anxiety starts to creep in? 

Thanks in advance!! Love to all. ",3.2902477477477485,4.962072844594598,4.607837837837838,83.9936936936937,73.93243243243242,7.906306306306307,25.171171171171174,8.59863814320734,1.7274036036036042,583,19,116,11,12,193,100,148,0.093,0.7759999999999999,0.13,0.8657,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,2,6,9,0,2,5,0,11,6,2,2,3,23,21,8,0,3,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,10,5,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,4,4,13,5,19,16,5,19,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,6,13,78,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662583385267422,0.4278837752840426,0.0,0.0,0.09777364540681728,0.14327420306491356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504404490658965,0.1167537117388203,0.08524016705553075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568332531904977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017994263075092,0.0,0.0,0.14192633297660678,0.0,0.0,0.16025935659605206,0.0,0.12236774998365547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681152559209418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070315926299943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533183506063845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480616854694562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831475402035225,0.0,0.0,0.24749348447589484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524073167517704,0.0,0.09333881192559394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784690407088532,0.0,0.14871270504198306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950729232689406,0.10634838452228504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422592104510287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566436173627876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915966261459415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330120624097501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897366734088636,0.0,0.11166985564613906,0.11690564556990975,0.0,0.2923651149880667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317898161134276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873833391261036,0.0,0.0,0.09289803417630657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153704674024215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247641821582098,0.22198394749260308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Teledogkun,2018/01/07,"Obstacles = opportunities with something in the way? Hi all!

Imagine a guy who claims he never observes any opportunities in his life, only obstacles. Would it be reasonable advice for that person to tell him:

""Behind every obstacle is actually an opportunity, it's just something in the way. Therefore obstacles are actually the closest thing to an opportunity that we get, it's just that we have to work to get there.""

Would those words help the person, or would they make things unnecessarily complicated?

Interested to hear your thoughts on this.",7.581626139817629,9.831352755319152,8.476930091185409,58.20500000000001,64.0,11.32887537993921,35.76899696048632,11.20814326018867,4.818980547112462,445,21,67,14,7,150,66,94,0.096,0.747,0.157,0.7616,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,2,1,1,5,3,5,0,0,7,0,7,1,0,3,2,17,12,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,5,12,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,1,1,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.3619564647178703,0.0,0.0,0.1812253854241136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261163898771054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625461709944366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378613483498933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363052501454288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20902230819288484,0.0,0.12430719858786465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309930057843828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379327132445493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303504385498544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104758940556786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238659240790667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19067958054015774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285546066237684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209665445052684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24641735443265506,0.0,0.0,0.14723129036602195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29441256509169456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501412358516454,0.0,0.0,0.39522770853305705,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toxickittykitty,2018/01/07,"Voices from weed? So I've been smoking weed for about 7 or 8 months and lately I've been hearing voices when high , I'll hear things from above my head first time being ""Emily this is god I am here to tell you that you are worthless worthless worthless I shall kill you I shall kill you"" after that I went into a bathroom stall and I found myself looking much fatter than before j kept grabbing my fat and hearing this is the reality you are fat and I saw myself in a much more ugly kind of way. Similar things have happened again and one time I was waiting for a guy to come meet me and I believed he was going to kill me I kept hearing footsteps and laughing but he didn't show up for 10 minutes and he didn't seem to be about to hurt me or anything.  And more recently I belived I was going g to die , I thought my dealer who is my ex boyfriends friend laced the weed so I'd die thinking it was opiates inside if I spent an hour believing I would die hearing my mom crying and screaming when she wasn't. What I was wondering is is this a normal reaction? Though these experiences are unpleasant I desire to not feel the way I do in the present so the times it's enjoyable o crave. I've been diagnosed with bpd, social anxiety and depression and have dissociated many times but never heard voices before this . I desire ways to escape my emotions but I'm worried about why k could be hearing things .. I'm sorry for going on about this I just wondered if this is normal or not ",2.723930769230769,4.585983469999999,4.053333333333331,86.55346153846158,75.96666666666667,6.482051282051282,25.538461538461537,7.321109707123232,1.233330769230769,1171,42,233,14,26,385,161,300,0.195,0.7390000000000001,0.066,-0.9913,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,5,0,1,13,13,3,0,10,0,31,4,3,0,1,43,59,26,6,8,11,2,2,0,1,3,3,11,0,1,16,15,2,3,7,1,1,5,6,9,0,2,19,15,36,4,27,33,4,29,0,5,2,0,24,6,0,8,15,158,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498134214139058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990104462844281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456087294269185,0.19140387519910013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698303068338864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317107541384804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782026111396643,0.0,0.09330615482841527,0.0,0.0,0.07316148368637022,0.0862155953064926,0.26447300082381364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554970613146638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830907829878562,0.0,0.0,0.04294985178623608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225267214901065,0.0,0.09313587261581496,0.06562693251511523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448255936062618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410715723326477,0.07511502202654921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717626505445593,0.0,0.5744231948053277,0.0,0.0,0.08974719129999421,0.0,0.0,0.08365197579112997,0.0,0.090933489718105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819313118403077,0.0884553076532574,0.0,0.0,0.0958196687496644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133092375277587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611910774482003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948448999989844,0.06780087963171254,0.0,0.1248861025807173,0.0,0.06551345928148619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664526699444462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575597342657254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083871196761642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732913074003936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658893075045164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508699698170402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424413126182006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929753241704562,0.05442819501846878,0.0834562969353613,0.06743544019977488,0.1981243332878045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20227195806624376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874322969277818,0.07664805735470892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423462946416705,0.0,0.08626397820769109,0.0,0.06034123687932634,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,csing1909,2018/01/07,"Embarrassment towards myself and anger towards others affecting regular life decision making and actions. Hello everyone I will come straight to the point I am weak in socializing and lack understanding of how to behave in market and when I went to a shop to buy something I started pretending and I sensed that he saw through the act and I immediately felt embarrassed and exposed but I also felt animosity towards the guy who's reaction I didn't like. I have noticed this phenomenon where I get crowded by these emotions which affect my day to day actions negatively and I struggle to act wisely or at proficient level but I for some reason can't let it slide I feel it is necessary to find the right method on how to carry out such interactions. 

These emotions get stronger and stronger as the day goes by and my actions become more and more negative I am only saying it very roughly I have yet to actually realize that this is what actually happens. Anyway my only worry is how to prevent disturbing myself so much that I get affected by others and start acting on there behalf rather than have my own thought. I feel inferior and like a virgin among other people who seem to be more knowledgeable in social science which kind of makes me want to learn from them rather than learn from my own understanding which is fine in theory but practically one does not know the baggage the other person carries and if I am learning from him then I am indirectly allowing myself to carry the same baggage that he carries if that makes any sense.",8.167197368421053,8.368238007017544,8.49792763157895,65.86268092105266,61.912280701754376,11.335526315789476,37.8125,10.9516,4.4164078947368415,1252,57,202,30,16,414,164,285,0.14300000000000002,0.797,0.06,-0.9767,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,13,12,1,4,10,0,16,3,0,11,0,58,38,28,0,6,9,0,5,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,22,16,0,1,17,2,2,9,5,7,0,1,6,7,30,5,38,29,9,34,0,1,1,1,14,17,0,6,10,163,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.2504227404668261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260890271537036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725472549695877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170754367211486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052710267409044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482466557147736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228433512895686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288661390319625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226050369494054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975407704109984,0.0,0.24639410364220385,0.0,0.11727237780940855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20110894408673333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704638206516752,0.1134634923012724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361439360790836,0.07051543698169496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120495485227512,0.09062865479162248,0.1253708879291815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569423669273628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094322100669123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608099112953066,0.0,0.0,0.08694570392875715,0.1951700125191221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895351458688103,0.11203473367289844,0.0,0.0,0.12129376393224417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319233326780078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095754431185746,0.0,0.10203670717006492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168079698796518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26159035070526304,0.0,0.0987787695579626,0.0,0.0,0.18163596918518726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413674173023893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186325376082143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671490175894782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586861205836227,0.07568015089284717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894400873457765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030432479652354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hereditaryconfusion,2018/01/07,"Tiniest bit of hope tl;dr - recurring depression, having a hope that it's not coming back has kept me going in the past but now I don't know if it's possible anymore

Basically, I've had depression as long as I know, I started getting treatment about 5 years back. Antidepressants worked wonders for me, I remember the first time they started working that I hadn't even known before it was possible to feel this good. I had my first treatment about 2 years and then for about a year, I didn't have to take them (and felt even better).

I started doing everything I knew was scientifically proven to reduce depression - working out, eating normally, cognitive behavioural therapy, sleeping enough, worrying less etc etc. And I started them gradually and tried to enjoy life and not being too harsh on myself.

Yada yada, time went past, about a year ago I had a drawback, so I started taking medication again which didn't work as well as last time and about 2 months later my psychiatrist added another drug to the mix.

So I think I've been getting worse for the past month (I usually don't notice before it's really bad), I feel like I'm living in a foggy glass box (thinking about metaphors how to describe other people what I'm feeling - another good one, I think, is that living is like constantly having to eat dried out bread without a glass of water - sure it gives you calories, but at first you don't enjoy it and after about 2 weeks it gets really really hard having to take another bite).

So right now I'm trying just to stay alive for the sake of those around me, and looking for the hope that would keep me going.

If anyone has a positive example of getting better and could give me hope, I would be enormously grateful.

*PS. I do have a great contact with my psychiatrist and I'm calling her tomorrow.*",6.872587209302324,7.075242479651166,7.3773023255814,72.80606976744187,64.61046511627907,10.484651162790698,33.47906976744186,10.241411754978122,3.441508604651164,1439,56,254,31,20,474,181,344,0.067,0.7509999999999999,0.182,0.9924,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,3,9,22,19,0,0,14,0,28,8,1,1,1,48,68,23,0,10,8,0,5,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,16,15,4,2,13,0,0,4,9,4,1,4,13,6,33,15,39,50,5,51,0,3,1,0,10,10,0,7,38,169,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650231647230402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23600075720910704,0.0,0.0,0.07440148602798682,0.05245700057260126,0.0,0.0,0.06678532494768656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537429682470372,0.06264008565962281,0.0,0.0,0.1276760856355892,0.0,0.0,0.13270140561455554,0.08190439646621127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766056657014401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462465465527549,0.0,0.0810719349424162,0.0,0.059898818328576985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19384854974009744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700149282508217,0.1535321012320935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751759419021872,0.16733831983825126,0.09910240852849776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742477397547257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379985835176636,0.05359560287562055,0.07203271175906002,0.0,0.0,0.19144056414949026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678321721101732,0.14393553074665744,0.08527325785601014,0.1258494857025675,0.0,0.08271182090267055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720481452847953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29805437785765765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668284025922573,0.0,0.0,0.0824600600677128,0.061152795961016686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299012980599673,0.07330374306597895,0.0,0.13249128224980747,0.06639194950156717,0.06299943369279097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557659049954439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976340122764087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350545451715869,0.0,0.08541283879740466,0.0,0.0,0.05083672650611258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485044696501976,0.05201068354701178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691516586111524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441826959390254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498509691892403,0.06406822398228526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507599940950578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26550415005858624,0.07996327766814072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070717707783307,0.0,0.16922121515981925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857939888702811,0.0,0.0,0.14421285815540338,0.0,0.0,0.13123747886491932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018697818239184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262593523000136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601779783955274,0.0,0.06745362553255768,0.06954597833304152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231835688502035,0.08135796308394247,0.2184671125478889,0.07618829939743088,0.07645364341342213,0.10658669625240004,0.0,0.0,0.19324636840942166
mentalhealth,unclesin,2018/01/07,I’m not mentally well I’m not mentally well and I know it. I’m not sure what to do. There’s only so much therapy and meds can do and they aren’t helping. ,-2.729999999999997,-1.132513999999999,1.1722222222222245,97.345,105.66666666666666,5.7333333333333325,17.11111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.36597777777777774,120,4,31,3,6,44,24,36,0.165,0.769,0.065,-0.3378,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,8,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,1,8,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885929043735847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548491585967613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129743303181889,0.0,0.5679001342450083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071276666623252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429288050608486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655575770443008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222196777036964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5066761847828127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinkypokadot,2018/01/07,"I'm not sure whats going on. A little scared. So this post is gonna be jumpled up a bit, but I'd really appreciate it if someone could give me an opinion on what they think might be happening. Tips and such of that nature.
 So growing up I've dealt with depression, anxiety and even ptsd from past abuse. I've never experienced anything like the following before until I hit 20. (Currently 20 rn)
I recently (not the first but the most troubling) had an incident where I was going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. So in order to not wake up my roommate I tried turning the door knobs as I closed them. But I felt really strange. It was like I couldn't close the doors, I couldn't tell if it was closed or it was hovering back and forth between cracked a bit and closed. They felt heavy but very light at the same time. If that makes any sense at all. As I walked it felt like I wasn't walking and that I didn't know where I was walking to. Like I had no control of where I was going. Even though I definitely knew I was headed to the bathroom.
I've been having these weird thought processes too. Like I keep asking myself if my friends are actually here or am I just talking to myself. When I'm out in public with my friends I wonder if everyone is looking at me because they think I'm talking to myself. Questioning whether things are actually happening or not. 
Sometimes I feel like people are watching me. drugs make it worse, alcohol and weed as well.
I'll be in the bathroom and suddenly feel like someone is there with me. I don't feel scared though. Its kinda like that feeling you get when someone walks in on you in the bathroom only its over and over again. 
I'll be in the car with my friend and red lights and such move around. Not all crazy like but they'll be in a different spot for a second then I'll blink and it'll be gone.
I sometimes pinch myself to make sure I'm still awake/in reality. I want to be normal but this doesn't feel normal tbh. 
I feel like everyone knows whats wrong with me except for myself. Like they talk about my issues, I know they don't but it just feels like they discuss me.
I don't understand why this is happening.
I keep reading signs on the roads etc. to bring me back to reality but it only works for a short of amount of time. I'm scared, and confused.",2.219812770989357,4.176051466101696,3.4409302325581415,89.9436046511628,77.77118644067797,6.678833267638947,23.68860859282617,7.65591337171366,1.0278751872290113,1820,60,388,27,43,590,213,472,0.14400000000000002,0.773,0.083,-0.9785,2,0,2,0,1,0,45.0,0,2,8,3,26,26,0,4,22,0,38,4,2,4,5,92,84,41,0,11,25,0,10,12,3,4,2,0,2,0,23,23,1,3,20,1,0,13,15,8,1,2,18,16,54,18,53,51,8,65,0,1,3,0,22,33,0,15,29,256,77,2,0.0,0.08598541677718145,0.14163872353886328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775569138397963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935114087117149,0.0,0.055517035185555515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972020007990096,0.06460406331923071,0.06784460045550875,0.0,0.0,0.1116060808765006,0.0,0.044238941759388695,0.0,0.06175304175890555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845866796549238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139516138336468,0.05794247546265075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250576750486217,0.0,0.0,0.07582182105065498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415995513598087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093645886302264,0.09586564534466817,0.0,0.0,0.13869044720600684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568604845602971,0.2073805120823253,0.2090401989591312,0.0,0.0,0.06172932121375836,0.0,0.0,0.16820579268588318,0.0,0.037915638278421405,0.06961724113439573,0.12373224853548308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925243392974864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447934460699297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757458408897235,0.0,0.1290098517237923,0.0,0.0,0.119650273756135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254575084224549,0.07273575580510139,0.0,0.0,0.0609418222723753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532621441169374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698694349030534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713206998783292,0.0,0.0,0.05597165131098497,0.0,0.0,0.06810348117904053,0.14220941626487812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038786411625592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927775371194013,0.0503119734130157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950348185777262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483225544270724,0.0,0.08129674195708532,0.0,0.07259118637194759,0.0,0.0929823832334277,0.0,0.07165564804031432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797033771052945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446891003007554,0.0,0.14355023221584395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795573156245181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679564930285246,0.0,0.0,0.17499078271050175,0.06343073121843126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821331146394875,0.09300183462975624,0.14260235386752426,0.05761370237903508,0.0846341058816609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049271317017801054,0.07893700421437247,0.0,0.07554954030032981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059879126978741634,0.04280457896798487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525053667748887,0.0,0.0654845338190608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870074754769496,0.05283295088879485,0.0,0.07395660684342756,0.0,0.07934559469759214,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StefanMacak,2018/01/07,"Hello shoud i make a video of mental illness I seek advice if you guys want me to make a video of any specific mental illness because i saw them most and i was also mentaly ill,so if you have any questions be free to watch my videos and comment here or on videos on what you want me to make best wishes :)",4.158906250000001,4.307559578125002,5.031250000000004,87.48875000000002,70.40625,7.025,26.9375,5.985473137389443,0.91535625,239,7,51,1,4,78,43,64,0.077,0.713,0.21,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,3,0,13,10,6,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,11,3,7,7,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,5,0,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23071760679106396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888118829527753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32111695148535063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392650163647225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777605590907845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23377958427839915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728027571298754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758735899756893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644899538502882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278519922035735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715073719370276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princessdrive,2018/01/07,"Hey schizo affective question? I'm pretty sure I'm about to start visually hallucinating a few nights a week. But it's fine and I start school in a month so can't really go to a phych ward for 28 days.

How can I tell my doctor while still staying out of the hospital? Or should I just hang out? It's really not bad at all I've dealt with way worse alone and I start school soon.

Any advice thank you!!!!",0.2747058823529436,2.508375588235296,2.1626470588235307,94.6969117647059,87.23529411764706,6.223529411764706,15.558823529411766,7.554174236665415,-0.01921176470588204,315,6,74,6,10,104,66,85,0.061,0.764,0.175,0.8603,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,2,2,15,10,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,10,9,2,18,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,10,39,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930786683186443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463941803730415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436519698187072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497598496213844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742656860981433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223755533906776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229262825540648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771119141908918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854209953861131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101590788476065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134144326193333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531571918796603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999349870106576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41955698054562107,0.21060029460665208,0.15779236609636674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862223855454748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269879772621954,0.1819105630417036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683450161010634,0.15849150195578135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013569265312108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sopheps,2018/01/07,"Found out my mother also sees my therapist. Should I switch therapists? Today I was at my mother's and saw an invoice from the therapist that I go to. It was completely by accident that I saw the invoice, I wasn't poking around or anything. I don't think my mother realized that I had seen it. Also, I haven't told her that I'm going to therapy. I didn't know she was going either.

I'm considering switching therapists and wanted to get opinions on this. Just feel it's a conflict of interest, but at the same time, kind of annoying to switch this far into therapy and I do ""click"" pretty well with the therapist. I'm surprised the therapist didn't refer whoever started seeing her second to someone else when she figured out we're mother and daughter. I don't know if I started seeing her first or my mother did. We have the same GP (I'm comfortable with that) and it seems pretty clear now the GP has referred us to the same therapist at different times. Just in case anyone was wondering how this coincidence occurred! Thanks for any advice. ",3.86782961460446,5.849107935960598,5.4010489713126635,77.60830194146625,73.08866995073893,8.717357287742685,28.689944943494638,9.325443323948027,2.8323528832222538,833,34,147,20,17,281,108,203,0.039,0.8240000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.9673,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,1,9,7,1,0,10,0,16,0,0,1,1,39,42,13,0,3,7,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,12,0,1,11,0,0,3,6,1,1,2,14,8,24,6,22,27,4,21,0,0,7,0,14,10,0,6,8,107,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343520612723856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292874651686866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502240763132405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685718622279134,0.0,0.0786841220865858,0.08511883749047712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025194046006808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989875145084896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987520447851143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834650754523709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133123198192553,0.0,0.10483840993359904,0.0,0.0,0.049955604758501054,0.0,0.16302295264898706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956973123350676,0.10509650822028024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455243763200286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285815923694315,0.08704554840834226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101543653329048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535551182590688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803070324927413,0.21869129489238864,0.777125793017994,0.0,0.06126710644382975,0.0,0.0,0.11150934375591394,0.0,0.09063313473722066,0.09136553515895993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501471523522587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639700993760316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597059600064377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369187008856832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RomireOnline,2018/01/07,"I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm feeling over it Hi r/mentalhealth

Hopefully I can post here and maybe someone can help me sort this funk I'm in.

So the last few days I've been moody..angry..sad..annnoyed...frustrated...and I'm kinda just over it.

I'm behind in my streaming/gaming commitments..while my team understands the issue atm...i don't feel they do.

My partners mother is here with us well for 2 weeks too...ive also had to drop everything and help.

I don't get enough time for myself and maybe the only time is when I go to work for x duration  of hours.

I just feel depressed and frustrated",0.3008333333333333,2.6548515238095263,2.09077380952381,94.09901785714287,89.31746031746029,5.68968253968254,18.98611111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.4123349206349207,476,14,104,8,16,156,82,126,0.077,0.7979999999999999,0.125,0.5352,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,1,2,8,5,1,0,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,17,22,8,0,1,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,3,1,0,2,3,13,2,13,20,2,14,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,3,7,58,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775424984718855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722081584541725,0.0,0.1699056716506755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20382941615955666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772907487348824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29923217985792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030638010685676,0.0,0.11211131191818552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644476581889572,0.0,0.0,0.19593051892660532,0.19426813694246906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058953674972885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841271633662684,0.16079883318710306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39636218378065935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500303487457939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889271380626884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714358428278894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23005580410254806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536177540142692,0.23728776357059464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823558935437795,0.0,0.1773666127512697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361263551158818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156803619532869,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sergal33,2018/01/07,"Memory loss moment in childhood that hasn't recovered I dont know if this is the right sub-reddit to ask this.
So i don't know if this is normal, i haven't asked a doctor as i was confused and shrugged it off.
 But it was my 5th birthday, it had not started yet and i had sat down at my party table in a red recliner and closed my eyes for a second and when i opened them i had forget everything up to a few minutes before sitting down. Im 20 now and i still vividly remember this moment and it confused me when it happened. 
Should i see a doctor about this and does this have a name beyond just memory loss?",2.436046511627908,3.647383031007752,4.2596046511627925,87.49963953488373,75.27906976744184,7.020465116279071,23.752713178294567,7.554174236665415,1.0038955038759692,477,14,102,6,10,162,79,129,0.096,0.8809999999999999,0.023,-0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,9,4,0,2,7,0,13,3,1,0,0,23,21,14,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,12,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,6,4,14,0,13,14,1,21,0,2,4,0,4,11,0,4,9,79,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4260315782154952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938897544057814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664431422492416,0.19939943260007395,0.0,0.2670470236083513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20478342207768407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149343147209825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612495225199774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504487933699336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325174605516815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25811786894520217,0.19458886370616066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18157274351910116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127854857801366,0.0,0.1819671102667693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jozzbloche,2018/01/07,"Intrusive thoughts and urges. For a very long time now, I've continuously suffered from intrusive and unwanted thoughts, images, and urges that cause a lot of intense fear and anxiety. A lot of them involve committing violent and invasive acts against other individuals, including friends and family members. It's now gotten to a point where I'm starting to fear that I will act out on these urges and seriously hurt someone, and I feel like I'm going mad. I feel hopeless and horrible. What do I do? What am I suffering from?",6.1805803571428575,7.9498836354166675,6.966904761904763,69.54000000000002,66.8125,11.31904761904762,38.714285714285715,11.20814326018867,5.063966071428572,423,24,71,14,7,140,63,96,0.32,0.606,0.07400000000000001,-0.9802,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,0,3,11,2,2,4,0,4,0,0,1,1,19,13,9,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,3,2,6,2,10,9,2,13,0,4,0,0,3,4,0,2,7,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789624479024215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254592283108245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689961243693147,0.493936285765007,0.22194428713140754,0.15679155553302565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956429589305336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473156403931793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349503864681981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107223422118983,0.0,0.0,0.19422669918236796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731761934855217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20747292557828506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595876125278005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534411949714488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484740943233725,0.12797647164710013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810882106266461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throoowawai10,2018/01/07,"Can someone relate to me, at all? Okay so fair warning before I type for who knows how long. I've posted about this problem before and all I get are people telling me I need to see a professional and while I understand why they want me to, that's not going to happen. I don't want to get into that right now and it's been suggested a million times so if you're thinking about commenting that, just don't and go comment on someone's post with depression or whatever. I don't want random people who don't understand what I'm going through trying to help because it's not going to.


If I seem a little on edge it's because I am, and I really don't want fake ""sympathy"". Also another stupid warning before I get into my problem, I'm not going to hurt anybody and I'm not going to hurt myself I just want to know if there's anyone out there going through what I am. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one with this problem, but I know I can't be the only one because it's not something you would EVER tell anybody, not even your closest friend.


So finally getting into it, sometimes I think about killing people. Well sometimes is an understatement, it's been piping up a lot more these few months. It first showed up in middle school, when I discovered it was a possibility via the internet. I was raised seriously religious, so death was never real to me in the first place, and when I renounced my religion it became enticing. I liked thinking about how they don't exist anymore. I liked thinking that they were in so much pain, but then they didn't feel anything at all, ever again. I'm not saying it's religion's fault, but I feel like a thousand tiny things caused me to be what I am, religion included. I would(N'T)* (jesus fuck that typo) kill anyone, but at the same time, I wonder if a lot of killers thought that before they actually did something. I wouldn't know, because I can't talk to anyone else like me. It's just people afraid of me, or what I might do. I can't say fucking anything to anybody or else they'll create a mental image of every single fucking piece of who I am as a person before they really get to know what I'm thinking and feeling.


So, anybody out there?",3.963863636363637,5.1658988863636415,5.300227272727274,81.55284090909092,71.5,7.6818181818181825,28.522727272727273,8.07648339933343,1.935545454545454,1730,65,331,24,32,579,192,440,0.115,0.7759999999999999,0.11,-0.9206,1,0,2,0,0,2,48.0,0,2,7,2,27,25,6,1,15,1,31,4,0,3,6,81,79,33,3,15,21,0,4,5,1,4,1,2,0,1,30,15,0,0,19,1,0,7,19,17,1,6,9,7,48,8,44,64,11,45,1,3,1,3,23,20,3,13,21,236,78,3,0.0,0.0,0.06817820652746151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05587105186888135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325959214610127,0.0,0.0,0.06928735211613761,0.14655379335822932,0.07158499567095097,0.11498595957881895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035633377480236,0.0,0.2972500407759186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177064722885153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060174661556233126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167265617249837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046145203824883456,0.12639386751509787,0.058864314324536086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413034654248607,0.09982320533014437,0.0,0.0765337426757522,0.0,0.11885434450012848,0.0,0.0,0.05397756106204436,0.19376732710034106,0.18250801423365368,0.0,0.2779414089025024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061781429250575226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046829067494509546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495839529819041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545906435761717,0.0,0.19198001016002256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17066266174216066,0.07002313007784973,0.0,0.06182836699070141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879352704929458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040753371230468,0.07411577289115931,0.0,0.0,0.0557656129903401,0.0,0.05135884742364578,0.05180404618923876,0.053884230349143684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468472628452196,0.10627103111076024,0.07434133456211584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937425036573732,0.0610034631548318,0.07299410282331989,0.0,0.0,0.07876234170115233,0.13382280275003175,0.0,0.0,0.20055423999336536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952171750293244,0.08951467464707548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966436736016744,0.0,0.1111189771640465,0.0,0.07070715624634341,0.05567339602885058,0.06360251373068394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839285313784365,0.1075710510778224,0.2072949501636425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615487735722773,0.12213025887688153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046415231996354465,0.22383350154523815,0.0,0.055465042348136914,0.08147774006850146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047433780022706186,0.0,0.0,0.14546395316072894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060410707104095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281706661109382,0.0,0.06304233700391193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576566190530665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926024799232996,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JailKat,2018/01/07,"When does believing in conspiracy theories go too far? At what point does it become concerning? Ive had a few weird responses when the topic of conspiracy theories come up and ive shared my thoughts. I always assumed it wasnt that strange to believe in them. Especially since they have been becoming more popular recently. Im just second guessing myself now after the responses ive been getting. Im probably fine, was just wondering :P ",4.470624999999998,7.332306812500002,6.157500000000002,68.72750000000002,74.625,11.0,35.0,10.686352973137794,5.136750000000001,355,20,56,14,8,121,61,80,0.1,0.754,0.146,0.4363,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,8,15,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,6,0,8,3,7,9,2,13,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,5,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178343314116095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294708873266257,0.0,0.4381177390029966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167486400614336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402984187792579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015829673190575,0.0,0.11050048238668153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141893424038996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42004097494831133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380157849499806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963114286720727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919786579789101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083659058605665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435770335508892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085377509450556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mediabowie,2018/01/07,"Should I tell my psychologist this? (abuse tw) oof, where to start off. I got an appointment with a psych recently, my first one ever. However, I seem to have encountered a dilemma. When I was a child, my mom was an alcoholic and opioid addict. Under the use of these things, she often verbally and mentally abused me. She only ever got physical with me once, and after she realized what she did, she checked herself into rehab and has been clean ever since. In the time since, our relationship has healed and I have forgiven her. Sadly, I recently have been experiencing flashbacks of these incidents, and it has been causing a huge mental strain on me. I've told my mother about this, and she was the one to get me the appointment. My issue is that I'd like to tell the psych about this, but I fear he may contact CPS or something, since I am only 15 and I still live with my mother. I don't want to create any issues, and the last thing I want is to be taken away from my home, but I don't think I could honestly continue on with whatever the fuck is making me feel like this. idk. any advise is very much appreciated. <3",4.743333333333332,5.701285454545456,5.8990909090909085,78.89196969696972,69.45454545454545,9.503030303030306,26.93939393939393,9.725611199111238,2.3715848484848494,880,27,172,20,15,294,129,220,0.114,0.818,0.068,-0.8042,1,0,3,0,2,0,33.0,1,0,0,1,9,7,1,2,13,0,24,5,0,3,3,33,38,13,0,4,3,3,1,2,0,2,4,0,2,1,11,14,1,0,4,0,1,0,2,4,0,3,11,2,34,3,23,23,1,22,0,1,0,1,20,9,1,4,15,128,45,3,0.0,0.28585828224974,0.0,0.13150663720182731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891887367532498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406773247439566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133376929477904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239222476751628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963148003804674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273555295847576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357444873712061,0.06099514117485615,0.08617949295626501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260947953729167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152229882000182,0.063025217734063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929607891543594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210036868754352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518168402952321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833114408674017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786935998990287,0.0,0.10652022659313727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052276687265852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24313727596944826,0.0,0.0,0.14128268806266228,0.0,0.0,0.08867836722232349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846909537331794,0.16348666975611004,0.1834920757508305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382190053852481,0.1295135747229721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098188014685803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29936399995441537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286837271954196,0.0,0.0,0.08538391883727135,0.0,0.09633683531418344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210875291968784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028502173072626,0.07729608603930044,0.0,0.0,0.0703414632209312,0.0,0.0,0.11526900284002126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418727770157668,0.0,0.09953399670733228,0.1423037053820348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marriagewithanxiety,2018/01/07,"How do I support myself while also helping my wife with anxiety? *throwaway account* 

Posted in /r/anxiety but didn’t get much response.

Tl;Dr - how to I support and help myself while being supportive of a wife with high anxiety.

Been having trouble figuring out who to talk to and figured anonymously on the Internet is as good a place as any.   

My wife goes through various ebbing and flowing of anxiety and has been doing really solid for a long while but I must have forgotten how bad her anxiety can be.  During the week we spend time apart because she is in school and I work and then we make the most of our time together on the weekend.  Its been stressful on the relationship but we’ve been doing it a few years and only have a semester left.

This past few weeks I’ve had some rough stuff going on in my life and it’s coincided with my wife’s high anxiety.  I’ve been feeling really alone and unable to lean on my wife.  I’ve always tried to do what I can to help my wife when her anxiety gets bad but I’ve realized that when I do, I do it at the cost of my own sanity.  

So I’m here asking for advice and also some words of support...
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mentalhealth,helpingblue,2018/01/07,"A new subreddit for fellow depressed redditors to find friends :) Good day to everyone! We would like to welcome you to join our new subreddit /r/FriendsForDepressed/, a new platform catered specifically for depressed redditors to share their social experiences and make friends with one another! We understand what it's like to struggle depression and deal with it alone. Thus we hope this subreddit can potentially change the lives of our depressed redditors! Thanks for joining us, and I hope you have a good day! :)",8.848527131782943,10.987259279069765,7.288372093023257,68.33782945736439,60.86046511627906,12.24496124031008,42.24031007751938,11.855464076750405,5.895603100775193,422,24,63,14,6,126,56,86,0.149,0.516,0.335,0.9655,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,6,2,1,0,0,16,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,15,8,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,10,11,12,7,0,6,0,4,0,0,16,1,0,2,7,37,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514119379245326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329618771739473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465289062656393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856488042561065,0.15071864274971047,0.5036635309330437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969374974282692,0.0,0.14300488125369795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361782358268126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225896816804341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452396332860652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904054232604109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428451055452336,0.0,0.1290911650975482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758501389762764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4235825533583325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906421227090237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902543115597727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283274567516109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459494335576272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219214860881625,0.17585227097787676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385136719545024,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tamraraf,2018/01/07,"Question about rights when involuntary committed Does anyone know, in Michigan if you're committed for 72 hours after concern about suicide, can you check yourself out at the end of 72 hours or does the doctor have to release you?  If there are better subs for this topic, I'm open to suggestions. ",8.503333333333334,8.688129333333336,7.6003703703703716,72.63166666666667,61.22222222222222,10.162962962962963,36.518518518518526,9.725611199111238,3.608118518518518,240,10,39,4,3,74,43,54,0.076,0.805,0.119,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,2,9,5,4,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,11,5,0,10,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,5,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19010383117952395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24045451831848824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782792567023741,0.4758455714302139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408037323410896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5354912895161605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941736247834164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304566242432534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23218282980254495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29739104909002184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mavrick116,2018/01/07,"Really bad deja vu moments First time posting here, and using mobile so excuse my formatting.

So this happened a couple hours ago, but i get these once every few months.

I was at my sisters house dropping off some money for the car i bought from her, but as soon as i started knocking on the door, i got an extreme sensation of deja vu, like, everything i saw and heard i could swear on my life had happened before, but it was also like i was seeing in third person, and everything sounded distant.
Afterwords everything just felt off, and i felt intensely sick to my stomach, on the verge of throwing up, and i just felt wrong in my body, and any memoies i thought of felt almost like they weren't mine.

Its a couple hours later and i feel perfectly fine now, but i get these every couple months, with varying degrees of intensity.

I remember one from highschool, i was doing a math problem and i kinda got stuck in my head doing it over and over and over, until i felt really sick, and when it was over i looked around at my friends, and i knew them and had all my memories of them, but they felt like strangers and like i didn't know them.

Im 22 years old, in reasonably good health, and i have no history of any mental conditions, never had anxiety or panic issues, very stable moods, very calm kind of person, these events are the only things that kinda freak me out about my mental health, but they are very infrequent, always go away after a couple hours, and the only comments on my change in behavior during them is being quieter and looking confused.

Sorry for the wall of text, but can anyone help identify what this might be, and if i need to see someone about it?

Edit: format and spelling errors",8.791833839918944,6.8879206048632255,8.601689969604866,72.45838095238098,61.79635258358663,11.326524822695037,35.61114488348531,9.888512548439397,3.3762047011144887,1345,45,244,21,15,436,187,329,0.115,0.758,0.127,0.632,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,7,2,12,18,0,2,11,0,21,8,3,2,3,58,49,35,0,4,11,1,7,5,1,1,5,2,1,2,13,22,0,0,12,0,2,3,4,6,0,3,24,14,42,11,42,21,3,48,0,0,5,0,16,23,0,8,25,174,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179440750841425,0.0,0.08110166027429992,0.0,0.0,0.06476917055160956,0.06739172539323778,0.0,0.0,0.11015450019620653,0.0,0.06195856018003856,0.0,0.0,0.05663139986028781,0.0,0.0,0.07209993710328798,0.0,0.0,0.07609452956877626,0.0,0.06762482985208297,0.0,0.0,0.0689181174990964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996371116859506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856786611390717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646654191985222,0.3584638622653489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647829014699264,0.0,0.21837081574325906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04095192387425653,0.0,0.4665893884270818,0.0,0.0,0.06889164470891418,0.0,0.0,0.06257411918057502,0.0,0.0846298203132203,0.0,0.04602954715595617,0.06793213936402782,0.12955319712290886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324168936155116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312102653858658,0.17218114457188638,0.0,0.0,0.0542871443774279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392820372172268,0.09345374578612883,0.0,0.0,0.087485119730787,0.08453447172507901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434057102965359,0.044511014575975255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057206954208879314,0.1978426873206276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602554783857004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324151440114162,0.08591957685381542,0.0,0.0,0.12929387859612207,0.0,0.0,0.06005444663487852,0.06246592445970683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498734506913147,0.0862537000913028,0.05488218836247104,0.12319593615064775,0.0,0.09502651078786764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143795676468407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756782488499045,0.0,0.0,0.0774982830432662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037709338763583,0.08327313330365316,0.0,0.0,0.09174800223508547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908007141309344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862415007840257,0.0,0.0,0.09066376948649428,0.05732646366512621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380740073445478,0.0,0.0,0.06429849926451106,0.04722701171835075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699509728630619,0.0,0.20048032896788115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855189740699261,0.0,0.05215610996379813
mentalhealth,helpmeimafreshman,2018/01/07,"Is This Bad? Does anyone else ever feel a lack of interest in almost everything? Not depressed or anything like that, just bored and lacking a strong resolve to do anything. As if your just going along with the people around you and don’t care about the outcome of much. As if your disconnected from things. Is it a problem to be feeling this way?",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,4.075757575757578,85.43363636363638,74.45454545454545,6.218181818181819,27.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.5281393939393948,276,11,50,3,6,86,52,66,0.131,0.632,0.236,0.8165,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,2,5,9,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,1,19,9,7,0,5,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,5,12,8,3,5,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,4,2,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24876452800682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370647418267784,0.25454360990823666,0.4088697773272679,0.22115338652943087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742681250664627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532886700571452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397047571165265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740081711064185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752952567203284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247171422307709,0.0,0.0,0.2232708624587403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512250915479446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118722765836672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213692606648468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262299664070747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222853690001622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23771182658151166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504437272564834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719040178798616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sw1905,2018/01/08,"Any suggestions to deal with OCD? I have had ""checking OCD"" for about a good year now, im not really sure what caused it and how it's still carrying on but I have to check taps, windows, doors, closets and follow the same routine every night and im getting sick to f**king death of it if im honest.

I've already broke one door handle through it and i'm scared i'm going to break another one because they're kinda expensive to fix, im just wondering if anyones dealt with this or have any ways I can overcome it.

I did speak to someone about it but they said I'd have to wait 7 months before I could even be considered any sort of help, so i'm just looking to see if anyone has any tips or tricks to overcome this, thank you :)",2.5968201754385944,3.9514825855263176,3.867105263157896,89.89807017543863,75.11842105263158,6.908771929824562,25.824561403508767,7.492282038375204,1.172932456140351,571,20,124,7,12,187,99,152,0.128,0.765,0.107,-0.5214,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,0,9,7,1,1,2,0,10,1,0,2,1,25,22,13,1,4,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,9,6,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,3,0,2,3,4,7,4,18,17,1,10,0,1,2,0,7,1,0,8,5,68,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698904709596356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869706560954441,0.1491735338218282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894502649010895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867212592019274,0.0,0.12105401548727047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614169637275753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358419151903533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666530777172596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396234570564344,0.0,0.119861406903249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432573574732225,0.0,0.08085046017634219,0.11932215430527772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535485086793044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6146671106583986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946378813184068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355173175028642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350273331589674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280007989460746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911363273725657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532321603387149,0.0,0.14242852867605665,0.0,0.1133639566123049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053766451906694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136101773500958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407973257374492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097522928582028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129205169003948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154276473532974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161170926347753
mentalhealth,punstothemax,2018/01/08,"Should I be worried? I've noticed a big change in myself the last month or so. I've been messing up my words like CRAZY. I'll forget simple everyday words, and think it's something different. Like I might be thinking potato, and say potassium for example. I find I've had a some difficulty lately spelling. I'll mess up words reading ALL THE TIME NOW. I'll read something totally different than what it says. (Like for example I was doing a captcha today, and I SWEAR I read click on all the cars, but It was asking me to click on all the roads) 

This is pretty new. I am a big reader and writer. I used to read for like 5 hours a day when I was really, really young. 

I'm 14, don't do drugs or anything like that. 

I HAVE started to notice growing anxiety lately, do you think this is connected? ",1.7391381987577643,3.9017496645962737,3.725679347826088,86.2737364130435,80.30434782608695,7.006366459627332,23.72709627329193,8.07648339933343,1.483164285714286,620,22,125,12,16,210,97,161,0.08,0.81,0.11,0.8237,2,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,9,0,17,1,0,1,4,23,24,9,0,1,3,0,0,5,0,2,1,2,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,4,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,4,14,5,12,15,5,24,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,4,19,74,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748018888698956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486036159352057,0.0,0.11912567818618022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479932469624867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217893128224271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662651351272591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477731708106504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646463453321425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254884884209738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386882189785733,0.2874831174918596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112684102710598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351783604470928,0.0,0.0,0.10170984986463603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306838002291308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901496424298742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129637583911422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098400903735011,0.0,0.16326412695603115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026678068871016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961968114078052,0.0,0.0,0.09019245266612924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449474213521393,0.0,0.0,0.07430285677226071,0.0,0.12078451190496865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005475317221472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940682067680248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Temperx_,2018/01/08,"Not sure what’s going on... It has recently been occurring to me that my thought process of life in general is quite strange (as persistently pointed out by my girlfriend)

I’m a pharmacy student so typically have a lot on but I get on with it and usually don’t have much issues, but it’s here where the first ‘strange’ thing occurs where I have little to no anxiety when it comes to exams and deadlines, even when it comes to the point where should really be panicking like everyone else. 
Socially I’m fine and also have no anxiety per say, my issue is that I dislike social interaction with those who aren’t close to me. I avoid interactions as much as I can, not through anxiety but just because I don’t like it. The only form of socialising I seem to struggle with is when there is a group of people talking, which just confuses me and I have trouble keeping up. 
I also get told frequently that I have ‘no filter’ and that I say what I think too often even where it’s inappropriate 
I am a 21 year old male, when I think about it this is how I have always been but just recently being told of it a lot is bugging me. 

Does anyone have similar situations?",5.002197962154291,5.729216148471616,6.337799126637558,76.81531586608445,68.73799126637554,10.124133915574967,31.86055312954876,10.203070172399654,3.217237321688501,914,38,179,23,15,310,125,229,0.14400000000000002,0.8140000000000001,0.042,-0.9594,1,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,22,8,0,3,8,0,25,1,0,1,1,35,39,20,0,1,9,0,0,2,1,1,1,2,0,1,20,12,0,2,4,0,0,3,8,4,0,1,5,2,22,4,25,31,5,28,0,0,0,0,13,14,0,5,13,141,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338637879311247,0.10581082690744643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29184086540552473,0.0,0.0,0.08891618686386342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751813477630698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190814498205372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128227528375034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622939744328504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798155020669103,0.0,0.0,0.1215108719957103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081658297235948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287612412530675,0.0,0.07227036284243482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654528372206445,0.0,0.11302941114401673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981985687971902,0.12425203967303396,0.1274519664648125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21622096311448444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869606826267979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343746885779584,0.0,0.0,0.09671412773358834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815966613994378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404226023622646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525481236909292,0.0,0.0,0.08146466245184741,0.0,0.2511186733391453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225220059958826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576553973049465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142937923347992,0.0,0.2592558381836883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293966430621235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985078256557133,0.0,0.0,0.10220979179039903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448226443575059,0.16296340881036658,0.0,0.10095419484197428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430217439914206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005343455625568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188959536713306
mentalhealth,obliviously_willful,2018/01/08,"[TW - suicide] Making the best of a bad situation Just say you've decided to commit suicide - no I don't have any immediate plans - but you want to make sure that at least some of your organs will be viable for donation. I'm assuming some method that would leave you brain dead but alive for just long enough...? Any thoughts? Sorry, this is totally morbid.",4.812985074626862,6.3881837313432825,5.310626865671644,80.85489552238808,69.8955223880597,8.942089552238807,26.832835820895525,9.3871,2.253838208955224,278,9,53,6,5,89,55,67,0.199,0.648,0.153,-0.5661,0,0,1,0,0,3,13.0,0,3,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,2,3,16,11,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,7,7,6,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,1,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30446580198956913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869142705804012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349279140425928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24990249181134766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23130786656238306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23703607815344835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810960797416927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988574099801022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780229535074948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516287210443261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505936411034937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4897343777498282,0.0,0.21098598906963895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772033017648114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203879620872475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590241645888587,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,9thLvLCheeseWizard,2018/01/08,"I have two voices in my head telling me two different things I've always wanted to sing since I was young. I sing on the walk to work everyday and I've had multiple friends tell me I'm good after playing party games(rock band) but when I tell myself I will get serious about it there is this voice that tells me everyone is pitying me and I'm the worst. I'm constantly stuck between the thoughts that I have what it takes and that I'm awful and should give up now, I have a fancy microphone I haven't touched in over a year. What do I do? I've been having crazy anxiety over it",3.9993595041322285,4.5475709504132285,4.839328512396693,87.3062654958678,70.90082644628099,8.694628099173555,28.348140495867767,8.841846274778883,1.918776033057851,459,16,101,8,8,149,76,121,0.182,0.758,0.06,-0.9485,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,5,1,14,1,1,0,0,8,24,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,10,4,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,3,0,2,5,3,15,3,11,17,1,14,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,7,66,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823779298477175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548055806844254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550766386417452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986885791603804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171686934338813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692590906856068,0.0,0.09935667850110816,0.18242968230501488,0.0,0.15950670120068358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517066395534616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573117013985397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298518399514448,0.0,0.664872549155701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634139115425674,0.0,0.0,0.15097480523729287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715395413208497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216798619259423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844700377127284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246411088579442
mentalhealth,jumpsguy24,2018/01/08,"Therapy too expensive - any good alternatives? Hi all,

I recently switched to my wife's health insurance (Kaiser) and accessing someone in-network has become really difficult. I can't afford to pay $150/hr out of pocket (or more) for someone out of network. Prior to the switch I had been seeing someone for the last year about my work stress/anxiety. 

Has anyone tried the peer-based alternatives? I recently saw a Facebook ad for a service called Lighthouse (www.lighthouselabs.co) that seems more affordable but figured I'd ask here before trying it.

Any thoughts?",5.978424036281176,8.901301989795918,6.236258503401363,69.74604308390026,69.91836734693878,9.661678004535148,34.35827664399093,9.994966539143718,4.287458956916101,457,23,68,13,9,146,76,98,0.022,0.936,0.042,0.188,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,0,1,9,10,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,6,1,11,6,3,7,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,5,37,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25909142388735273,0.0,0.1457310554762905,0.0,0.0,0.13320118561112854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809065631301824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039095049853285,0.16210044222134914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945205670278297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978134968784674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024913091803964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552819420959685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203840500504536,0.0,0.3761891529275873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180287431893444,0.1734229468097108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4842270281795991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821572412673595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178519723027831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512347629791686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586723519983379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868539037103214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267497715369027
mentalhealth,pris_27,2018/01/08,"Help with PMDD and depression. Any experiences with this combo? I'm at my wits end... I honestly don't know what to do anymore (besides go to my psychiatrist that I have just set up and appmt for tomorrow). I just wonder if other women are experiencing what's known as PMDD.... It's nearing the final day of my period, and last night I had non-stop anxiety... I cried non stop for over an hour about something so stupid (my boyfriend was late to plans I was looking forward to the entire week), then he comes home and I screamed harder than I ever have. I just blew up. I went crazy. I have never been this bad. I just want to die... This shit is happening to me every. single. month. without fail and I cannot do it anymore. My poor boyfriend cannot do this anymore. I've become a monster. When I was on Prozac, I didn't have these outbursts... but I had constant suicidal thoughts.... so I stopped. I had no insurance, so I have been un-medicated throughout this entire year.... I have become increasingly violent (pushing and slapping). I've become a monster. I grew up with a mother who beat me, and had borderline personality disorder/self medicated with alcohol. I'm turning into her. I have no idea what to do, and I suppose I'm looking for personal stories from you guys so I have a better attitude for a positive future. I feel like therapy and medication is my only hope to stabilize my mood, but I'm terrified the suicidal thoughts will come back.... but what other choice do I have? 


I'm also not the same person mentally. The world is so gray to me. I just want to sleep forever. I will never hurt myself nor commit suicide because that is just not an option for me. I know things can get better, I just need to figure out how to make them better. ",1.976533902323375,4.4488667719298265,3.955215742057848,83.16889758179235,81.57309941520468,7.089110162794372,25.617512249091202,8.186683628785799,1.9394761182234868,1364,56,261,29,37,462,183,342,0.151,0.732,0.117,-0.904,0,0,2,0,0,5,70.0,0,1,1,6,19,15,3,0,12,0,35,6,2,2,4,54,60,24,4,5,14,1,1,1,0,2,4,1,1,5,18,17,1,2,9,0,1,8,12,8,0,0,13,6,45,6,36,45,3,41,0,3,3,0,12,11,1,4,24,186,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242331634608356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664284158460556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517417033804715,0.0,0.07331698201855293,0.0,0.28514119787021536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369468666180251,0.08002200857905382,0.058422891039700185,0.3175417103270093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542868414063821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511454653314042,0.0,0.10356848981233638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527522901712788,0.06180857152532911,0.0,0.08254645113689663,0.0,0.09946630631092784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848853814075261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669234640471095,0.08074894183752868,0.0,0.0,0.09374945548174192,0.0,0.0,0.04845934859669855,0.06846778301704982,0.0,0.10498752609026346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007220145293794,0.0,0.054467816413891236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489620760810767,0.08475058436405916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423922015929569,0.0,0.09613486797206844,0.09519028322994497,0.09438263665822548,0.0,0.10259820451292236,0.10819116948689728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534180412880906,0.07812201262968503,0.10811117005642852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046822355802457305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096214334169254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397363387792916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645611800700283,0.1930964975428993,0.09658370967023977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649820254534316,0.0,0.0,0.07106380088997083,0.1478347155607437,0.0,0.0,0.08993891133263711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289028512984898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251050156008905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998153692351082,0.0,0.09837790551747863,0.0,0.0,0.09590874925480886,0.0,0.0,0.0737819564073667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403784282335057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31449868800330816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960086087229376,0.0,0.06367152852890323,0.0,0.0,0.15217177096103274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424589316126452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130572818241563,0.0,0.07687669409655795,0.0,0.0,0.08884420920248871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238589178377286,0.10393388756289884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061717518374570415
mentalhealth,blue_eulogy,2018/01/08,Jobs when you have a mental illness I have borderline personality disorder and it makes communicating with other people extremely difficult for me. Because of this I have to go through cycles of quitting my job and looking for new ones every few months because at a certain point after getting on bad terms with all my coworkers the workplace becomes very toxic for me. Ive been looking for work from home jobs and jobs where I dont have to interract with people but havent had any luck because im not qualified for any of them. Does anyone have any reccomendations for jobs someone in my predicament can look for?,13.519210526315787,9.001443640350876,12.189912280701758,58.42855263157895,55.57894736842106,14.908771929824562,49.55263157894736,12.161744961471696,5.9659894736842105,501,24,82,10,4,161,78,114,0.099,0.887,0.014,-0.8184,5,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,2,2,4,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,1,2,12,17,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,3,11,2,21,15,3,11,0,0,3,0,3,5,0,1,5,58,14,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680218193160742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186158709772577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969398977866683,0.2402579037822302,0.14509515463486675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505689880224846,0.0,0.1149685651619626,0.0,0.15397241975408468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069046825803587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863886138208784,0.0,0.0746643605061373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178146127491575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190929353205314,0.0,0.6518551161455867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309698173040665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876949137533472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239673246750036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486356437561037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268843578897265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890241975089913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216001237255455,0.11471299682081852,0.0,0.0,0.12419337021827967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397352064349437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131498347183087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083994700601781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564374377224982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mybodyisntmine,2018/01/08,"My body is controlled by the other person in my mind. Hello everyone. My name is K. I’ve been keeping a secret for years now.. and I don’t know how to tell anyone I know or my family. I feel that I am truly mentally insane. I am in my mid 20s, born and raised in America. I grew up with parents that loved me very much, not once was I ever abused. Shortly after my mother’s death when I was 19 something inside my mind started happening and I couldn’t control it. Who I really am... became buried, deep. When ever I leave the comfort of my house it’s as if a switch is activated in my mind. I become.. J, a 23 year old Australian immigrant. J speaks with a perfect Australian accent, has a complete different interest in music, and he even has his own dating preferences. Every person who has ever met me in the past 3-4 years will tell you that I am J, from Australia. All my coworkers, my boss, my neighbors, even a girlfriend of 12 months all believe that J is who I really am. J works full time, has his own hobbies, his own social media, and even has chronic pain that I can feel when he’s in control. I’ve tried to take back control of my mind, but I literally can’t. Every time I’m about reach out for help, J takes back control. I don’t know what to do, or if anyone will ever believe me. I’m scared I’ll be thrown into some hospital, away from other people and the things I love if I seek professional help. I’m trapped and I feel possessed, but I know I’m not. I don’t feel that J is danger towards anyone.. but I know my mind shouldn’t be acting like this. I know I’m crazy, and it’s killing me. I want to be normal, I want to be myself. Has anyone ever dealt with something like this? How do you cope? Is it better to just let J keep control? 
P.S. I won’t even acknowledge judgmental, nasty criticism, I’m here for advice, not to be shamed. ",1.4554427083333332,3.3370207421875047,3.565833333333334,88.49583333333338,79.859375,6.245833333333334,22.125,7.279313950308263,0.7803156250000005,1431,44,302,19,36,488,185,384,0.107,0.782,0.111,-0.5505,2,1,2,0,1,0,62.0,0,2,0,9,20,13,2,2,10,0,38,5,1,9,8,69,65,22,2,9,12,2,4,2,2,4,2,1,1,2,19,13,0,8,13,0,0,2,10,5,0,0,4,5,51,8,34,50,8,41,0,0,0,2,28,16,0,6,25,198,70,3,0.0,0.08616442897274318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106371576990385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20339742483971096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832530803080024,0.11183843248127924,0.0,0.0,0.08031643514403798,0.0,0.16386700942234134,0.0,0.06431725956494225,0.0,0.08077845164457666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624829759067349,0.0,0.4893877030275495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597967375599149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213045418229374,0.32890892712935355,0.12254391040530832,0.06948959274365736,0.0,0.0,0.06855642668992024,0.0,0.14708299421884227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430838461018677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748889657955837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391215510042925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927843606834474,0.08045681918357518,0.0,0.239798744974292,0.0,0.0,0.07700276852880553,0.0,0.0743638198355338,0.0,0.07105721070582639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312700319815214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328730999507305,0.0,0.3671456445774839,0.0,0.05804651222393384,0.0,0.053459503176271385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125274032667205,0.0,0.0,0.07631017056646619,0.07744723123898148,0.0,0.0,0.07738200934240451,0.0,0.08074987832857558,0.0,0.06942198238768983,0.050416717416839577,0.12699719701216702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931759623448055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728080426726806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413156664876884,0.0,0.1119708723082064,0.0,0.0,0.05147345427368829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935673985692104,0.0,0.12712557407083694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048313686284051416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481030479632733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04937389448928591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000378874570801,0.08578738680194152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052942943290891546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049297495468202
mentalhealth,101oftheliesivetold,2018/01/08,"Need advice for my friend (X-post r/depression). For a while now, my best friend has struggled with symptoms I consider depression (lethargy, general dissatisfaction and disinterest). He’s finally got his parents’ blessing to see a psychiatrist. He’s a senior in college, and like a lot of students, has bought and taken Adderall to help him concentrate studying and completing assignments (I don’t condone this, and I never did it when I was in classes with him. I have a prescription for Adderall as well as an SSRI [the former of which I started taking after graduation] Anyway, I guess that’s a separate issue). 

The Adderall makes him feel energized and “happier,” for lack of a better word. I know the sensation. He’s planning on telling a mostly-fabricated tale of symptoms that align with ADHD to this doctor to get a script for it. Although this is better (IMO) than buying it illegally, I wish that he was open to trying something that’s approved for treating depression. I understand that he doesn’t want to (potentially) waste months testing meds that aren’t as effective, but he is stubborn and extremely reluctant in considering somebody else knows what’s best for him. 

Part of me wants him to make his own mistakes, and knows it’s useless in talking to someone who’s already made up his mind. But I am frustrated by the situation. I myself have been prescribed a litany of psych drugs beginning when I was ~14, so I’ve told him my experiences for the most part. I am glad he’s getting help and truly want him to feel better, but most importantly, realize he’s doing himself a disservice in the long run. Welcoming your opinions! 

**Tl;dr: My friend is depressed but wants meds for ADHD because he knows they’ll help. He’s stubborn but I think he’s ultimately hurting his chances to feel better. What do you think? **",5.7971641791044775,7.616809313432839,6.473014925373137,72.5211641791045,67.80597014925374,9.53910447761194,35.19104477611941,9.888512548439397,3.870733731343284,1460,73,240,35,25,478,183,335,0.114,0.685,0.201,0.9797,2,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,2,1,9,6,26,3,1,18,0,20,4,0,4,1,52,50,22,0,8,5,1,3,1,3,1,4,0,0,0,17,13,0,2,12,0,2,1,4,10,1,0,10,4,36,16,41,39,9,22,1,5,1,0,38,8,0,5,14,163,53,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23227486114441545,0.09443136757645956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663998824209447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890827565811084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20282658213756935,0.3418659839940333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013207786682262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33292902912776073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989108175040379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206682708391054,0.0,0.08072679568003115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945283375751373,0.0,0.0,0.14658586460948891,0.0,0.0,0.10585977546687464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223981695961978,0.0,0.1009764150149206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728846257014388,0.0,0.10645520849188443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431878268234093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345060310978883,0.0,0.0,0.10086264945838734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21243399378253186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047211361736600815,0.0,0.0,0.08551962596222068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215628597724804,0.0,0.09143911331592457,0.1290102695113545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146811372544868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757459187597296,0.0,0.07713375909160071,0.0,0.0,0.07165420775385488,0.07453147234850865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730259964015984,0.2092942692511976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925503663886184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700620663570061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086226676490548,0.0,0.0,0.08187918434325811,0.07439494604411791,0.0,0.0,0.06839930375562064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102470103860982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008831569872199,0.0726580814591012,0.07767218093058696,0.08446393270738396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384061402004533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233963076687092,0.0,0.06560935251817605,0.0,0.0,0.10060125692113484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279931514627867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688717334929083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111263799746427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,only_one_time_,2018/01/08,"I need help figuring out some things. I am now 22 and, for as long as i can remember,  I've always had really bad mood swings. Recently I have noticed that these ""phases"" are getting out of hand it's becoming really hard for me to cope with them. I've been to my doctor and also to a psychiatrist (against my will, because I find talking to a ""stranger"" really difficult and it makes me really nervous), but I had just mentioned this signs to them and I've not be honest.
What should I do? The psychiatrist suggested me to go see a psychologist but I'm reluctant.
(Sorry if my english is bad but it's not my main language)",3.230161290322581,4.858347500000002,5.328258064516131,78.94738709677422,74.0,9.476129032258065,28.529032258064518,9.888512548439397,2.943280000000001,486,20,96,14,10,169,81,124,0.14,0.828,0.033,-0.9175,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,1,4,0,12,2,1,1,0,22,18,11,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,3,16,1,15,12,2,6,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,2,3,70,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216931211143318,0.16873567556829525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33863864691694673,0.12361754673475485,0.2239631676215688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756188275381496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534435449308312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059482437973576,0.0,0.11524896699324315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816580167362251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592437243219815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794608014072466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536241591199402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036456723265856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308752283390681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196441708476329,0.0,0.20022846542329,0.0,0.2297190203818705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159560335635512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270043140252773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629931337984285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472318835174446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,niceshootintex,2018/01/08,"Depakote and side effects Morning,

I’ve been on depakote 1000mg for several years now. I am starting to think this med has made me gain weight as well as make it hard to lose weight. In addition, I am often extremely tired during the day. Today I got blood work results back: cholesterol, triglycerides, liver enzymes are all up....and I take meds for cholesterol and triglycerides. 

Is it just me, or have any of you been on this medication and feel you’ve suffered similar side effects.

Thanks
",3.966544566544563,6.666184164835169,3.784102564102565,85.94145299145298,75.48351648351648,6.242246642246642,29.89133089133089,7.3871296695380915,1.9648085470085468,393,18,69,5,9,119,67,91,0.111,0.8009999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.2716,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,5,5,4,0,0,1,0,8,6,2,5,1,15,16,6,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,4,7,2,10,12,1,11,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,2,6,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542609416341453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313096466650988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284326809851059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069419023080528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927523107533162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839568018544022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227934100058645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884367396944872,0.13293148682355493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424125750035568,0.20061862178860976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497827068512696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409565483487401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973299156243094,0.0,0.0,0.1833468605946334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760470165034202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288890063516597,0.18876710177885397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850123023487925,0.179056150846978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498064392623924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824348068528524
mentalhealth,AlannaZZ,2018/01/08,"Constantly struggle to eat (but want to!) - desperate To start off, I live in Washington state in the US and left a toxic work situation about six months ago. I am in my late twenties and currently living with family while I look for another job. My parents are well off financially and provide for me while I'm getting back on my feet. I have a graduate degree and plenty of experience in my field. I have no debt, including no student loans. I have a fiance who loves and supports me who is also living with me and my parents.

I feel like I have every advantage, but I fight to eat and keep food down every single day. I have constant anxiety to the point of panic, crying, and wanting to throw up. At times I have thrown up. I have trouble sleeping more than five or six hours every night and wake up at 6am feeling like I'm starving and going to faint.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've seen multiple doctors, been to the hospital a few times, and have had a few therapy sessions so far and plan to keep going. However, I'm still struggling and don't know what to do!

- Doctors and lab work say I am fine and just need to 'eat better', but I can't seem to eat much at all (Low FODMAP diet recommended and I follow it when I can)
- Therapist suggests that my high level of anxiety is preventing my body from relaxing, making eating difficult (I'm terrified of going on anxiety medication and I want to figure out why this is happening, not just take medication and hope it works)
- Parent claims it is a genetic disorder I have and a number of other obscure disorders/phenomena (incurable and requiring extreme diets and supplement/vitamin routines to ease some of the symptoms); doctors have not mentioned any of this, though I did bring up the genetic disorder

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm terribly confused and rapidly mood-swing during the day because I can't help thinking:

- If it's anxiety, all I can do is keep trying to meditate, exercise, do things I enjoy (but it's nearly impossible when I'm weak and nauseous) while I continue therapy
- If it's diet related, I don't know if I can do it (it's hard enough just getting food down, but the low FODMAP diet is especially hard as it contains a lot of foods that are already unpleasant to me)
- If it's what my parent says, I'm screwed for life (very small chance I can ever have a normal diet/foods)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate to say it, but my parents are the biggest source of my anxiety right now (I am also on r/raisedbynarcissists trying to get help). Currently the only time I can eat normally, without fear/nausea, is when my parents are out of the house and I've calmed down with marijuana (legal here). Marijuana and meditation doesn't always work, but it eases my symptoms a little and often makes it easier to force food down. 


Please, if you have any ideas or advice, let me know! I just want to be able to eat normally again and this has been going on for six months.

",6.052338284097707,6.219024028725317,7.326299983678801,72.59961917197106,66.34290843806103,10.844872422610305,33.75490996137317,10.637119530657019,3.6856432076600836,2252,94,414,57,33,771,264,557,0.158,0.7490000000000001,0.093,-0.9914,11,0,0,0,1,0,421.0,1,1,0,8,20,25,3,4,20,0,47,32,4,2,3,87,89,52,0,14,21,6,4,2,0,0,11,3,0,0,24,32,15,6,9,2,2,7,10,13,1,4,5,9,49,12,67,82,10,71,0,2,2,2,19,35,1,14,30,288,73,13,0.055983556285645705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470648327300137,0.04962604479272837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061779246480525574,0.08954005947065817,0.04658280357884573,0.0,0.0,0.07614147606437001,0.05870364006169379,0.21413633662393486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0430478991249635,0.0,0.03412705629114663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951290607920826,0.0,0.062185110444006875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099667164409428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061495307794499625,0.07220952480036989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832401138241425,0.17190462625426736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40099608073254855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057845978990978986,0.0,0.0,0.050640331779451375,0.14150568216492054,0.0,0.0,0.05476266044957728,0.052776314457190686,0.0629970651764683,0.056613936351353686,0.07998932759301752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384776924055407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774729256952651,0.0,0.12726698071477335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495060739348626,0.0,0.10030054028166936,0.05527217152061817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504919539109806,0.05914970092631262,0.0,0.05560430331924213,0.055132525912716786,0.06459750745748741,0.0,0.06319862070460246,0.0,0.0,0.05555504120905688,0.14928227134714284,0.0,0.0,0.0923012953143287,0.0,0.06315188996228073,0.0,0.06082629771002901,0.0572469793040576,0.039542841435005666,0.054701475525020735,0.056110230806164986,0.14830351759956892,0.0,0.047012087460998615,0.0,0.0,0.047595217563137886,0.050527345291764295,0.0,0.07473891708021499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279508637790275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937108102584101,0.0,0.04115435542049495,0.041511097620740345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05253677514396938,0.1645559961763537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257801727089694,0.0,0.06568464097015801,0.37297868428799374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061453133255208174,0.05292255617448602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780965117898677,0.0,0.13356111292128395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096532704712455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292786288412447,0.05602398694046426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03962544928476289,0.0,0.04470854036662443,0.0,0.0,0.11705233672600975,0.0,0.0,0.06352947623779362,0.0,0.11637670140328045,0.04209266708726107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804415125589086,0.06500122377985841,0.037192987193541326,0.0358720023509154,0.055003559806606234,0.0,0.09793338563398146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601831972160912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734132513815498,0.0,0.0,0.04619229700797596,0.132082207924807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050335940455619115,0.0,0.05051645186264656,0.0,0.0,0.0539661504814976,0.0,0.16302678294754966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dre-ezy,2018/01/08,"A question I’m 17 years old and live on my own, independantly from my parents. If I were to go to the hospital for suicidal ideation and get checked into the mental health unit, would they contact my parents? Thanks ",5.162357723577234,6.700965073170736,5.569268292682928,79.47552845528456,69.0,8.393495934959349,35.61788617886179,8.841846274778883,3.12079837398374,172,9,32,3,3,55,34,41,0.104,0.8290000000000001,0.067,-0.3818,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,7,6,3,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,6,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,2,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078220853820855,0.0,0.15314084994262578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864243562346324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379389281453821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715532283710223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827539061845819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5984089237868361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018578982011489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29474651000441743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24808341091087466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914173055781588,0.0,0.0,0.17352399715111164
mentalhealth,kopfkino83,2018/01/08,"Setting boundaries in alcohol, drugs, eating... Hey,

I don't have any addictions but it is really hard for me to set a boundary in alcohol, drugs, and eating.
Once I am busy it's hard to stop.
With alcohol this  can lead to blackouts. 
With drugs the danger is to do this in a wrong moment, which can have severe consequences.
With eating, it's not too dramatic but I would like to be able to make a healthier choice sometimes.
I am sure I would be more proud of myself if I could choose more right for me sometimes...

I wonder if others were succesful in setting a boundary and how did you this, any tips welcome :)

TLDR:needs help in setting boundaries, curious about others.",3.780134943181821,5.864988164062503,4.620056818181818,82.66471590909094,73.609375,7.779545454545455,27.26136363636364,8.575989854853784,2.1563812499999995,527,20,96,10,11,170,76,128,0.131,0.695,0.174,0.8053,0,0,6,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,3,6,1,0,5,0,17,10,0,3,1,20,19,7,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,9,5,6,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,11,4,18,12,2,13,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,3,71,20,1,0.13506731336355282,0.0,0.0,0.1472433082505158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330376441780404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183700809485492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784025919348046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4699056074032981,0.41462274348798456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419875656993846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053277305081646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659870667959074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015848048504836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015070142736107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384228061194404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652757953691377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534674761721199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152587618718568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671700531576274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292232188587092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729934438915308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647473975693046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918958882858593,0.14767490394097388,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OneYearOfPoetry,2018/01/08,"Journalling my mental health through poetry... Hi all, I'm new here (Reddit - not MH issues)!
I've just come off the back of a difficult year - trouble at home, trouble elsewhere, trouble everywhere I've looked. So this year I decided I would try an chronicle how I've been feeling by way of a blog. To be honest, it's not a blog in the normal sense as it is fully written in the form of poetry (like a lot of us, I'm a creative type of person).
The reason I'm sharing it with you is firstly for your feedback, but also (if I'm being honest) your support, as sometimes it can feel like nobody can quite understand the way we feel. I hope that maybe the poems may bring you some form of hope, comfort, or even a sense of solidarity.
Anyway, your love and feedback will always be much appreciated: https://oneyearofpoetry.com
If I can be here for any of you, give me a shout.
Love x",3.8460426856380607,5.2233777572254345,5.287861271676302,80.85370386838598,72.00578034682081,7.635215651400622,27.180524677634505,8.139509932561175,1.753918986216096,684,24,133,10,13,230,108,173,0.039,0.726,0.235,0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,2,6,0,2,9,15,0,0,14,0,13,3,0,2,1,26,31,10,0,6,7,0,3,2,0,3,1,1,1,1,6,4,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,4,0,1,2,5,14,11,20,22,6,13,0,0,1,2,14,4,0,8,7,90,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294199664310735,0.1346602830304149,0.0,0.0,0.11005383885737016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444167878862508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940714245316516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068909664344044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454870072268873,0.11561547036189808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765738035049685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524756879480825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202380207108878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233442195728595,0.3214787710234989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891444493967478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581295158397405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590124502990594,0.0,0.0,0.1375869414364075,0.2921261107115648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258573245769875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309234110941026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896787490426655,0.0,0.0,0.15630194637529685,0.0,0.0,0.15856464415352492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130870799078152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213220846274233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639407336830994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005966473461125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18364925667205387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987583037892916,0.0,0.0,0.16847669146424582,0.19466844427683208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569153226456915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496345185387848,0.0,0.0,0.208433794757694
mentalhealth,picklejuicequeen,2018/01/08,"I absolutely need medication for depression and anxiety. How can I go about getting it given my situation? Hi, all.

I've been having massive problems with anxiety and depression and I can only foresee it getting worse. Upfront, I am a graduate student at an American university, but unlike undergrads we are **not** entitled to use the free health facilities, which includes the counseling and psychiatry services.

I'm 110% positive I need antidepressant medication at the very least. I've been to counseling in the past and it just doesn't work alone for someone in my situation and background. I am not currently on medication.

My (parents') insurance unfortunately requires a $65 copay for specialists, which psychiatry is considered a specialty. As well, while I'm away at school, I am considered out-of-network at any facility I choose to see. Hence, costs are going to be racked up REALLY quick. The university's training hospital costs exactly the same with insurance.

A PCP would be cheaper, but is it recommended to see a PCP for severe depression? Should I try to see a PCP here at home where it would definitely be cheaper? (Copay is $30) But if I do that, then they're going to want to follow-up, which I can't do since I'll be away at college.

Even worse, the waitlists for psychiatry are miles long. I couldn't get into see anyone until July, AFTER I graduate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Here's how depression is affecting me**: I have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I think about jumping from my apartment's 13 story parking garage into the freeway. I haven't done it, but it's something I keep thinking I want to do because it's right there. I'm not sure if I'd attempt it. I think about cutting myself. I've never cut myself intentionally, but it seems like the only option when I find myself trapped in dark thoughts. I can't get any work done whatsoever. I don't feel much pleasure from activities at all. Things I used to do, I just avoid doing because I just want to spare myself the disappointment from the lack of interest I'll have when I encounter it. I stay in bed quite often. It's where I go immediately when I come home from work. Homework often goes undone until the last minute. I often find myself Googling ""How to commit suicide"", ""Where to buy xxxxxxxx"" for whatever method I think of, and such. I wrote a suicide note this past summer just-in-case.

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It's debilitating, and I just don't know what to do.",3.637659191029236,6.185085314977975,5.380346415698838,74.86601021225472,75.80616740088104,8.620664797757309,29.921706047256702,9.279504587578698,3.1607726872246698,1919,89,334,51,44,652,222,454,0.149,0.763,0.08800000000000001,-0.9857,2,3,2,0,0,5,265.0,1,0,0,6,26,15,2,1,21,0,39,4,0,7,6,73,74,26,3,13,14,1,1,1,0,3,4,0,4,0,20,14,0,3,12,0,4,6,11,9,1,0,8,5,44,7,53,58,6,47,0,5,4,0,4,24,0,7,17,227,64,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960862781667749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767313495455856,0.0,0.13237512767375612,0.0,0.0,0.06049679628662789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625767777312946,0.0,0.0,0.105483578940732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452931973041342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298078199822711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707999995058296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714564457383538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043747112066422435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815542667530935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808125178573607,0.0,0.1966852413558163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196671504908564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735732305304378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690295211204222,0.0,0.0,0.04754912977530297,0.07052534836587003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04226930212271888,0.0,0.0,0.07656747812924418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614793954809285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360215574583422,0.12830696868307814,0.06672955844668686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160471877850338,0.0,0.0,0.09607022199545692,0.0,0.16518626151266694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278795603496275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202467086456392,0.0,0.0,0.05542692801766172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388760799119701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756285994561623,0.2757809555902299,0.0787645593125805,0.0,0.09774297402474336,0.0,0.07157023877860914,0.1945042120093762,0.0,0.0,0.07330811595472013,0.06660732364142563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221880905686493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839165145063647,0.0,0.08154407688178793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748004409172165,0.22175409208830849,0.0,0.13737443259878654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058741401257163185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494510030049815,0.0,0.07138806181121779,0.15309521447705016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779187140122196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889627732076321,0.0,0.17634254495931165,0.12292265245173115,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,distalented,2018/01/08,"I don't know what's wrong with me Life is hard I'm still in school and I'm at a point where I'm stuck. I can't let go of anything because I can remember everything so vividly every dumb thing I have ever said or done everything mistake I have ever made it sticks with me I can't get over it fixed on the past. But the now isn't any better I live with anxiety and I can't get over that either all I do is think and bully myself. But that's not even the worst part the worst part is the future I don't like being uncertain it makes me uncomfortable and with the ability to drop out and move on I'm thinking about doing it dropping out getting my GED and moving on it seems so much easier but I know if I do that I will do nothing. I want to go to college and get my bachelors degree in biology and I technically could do that with a GED but I'm still unsure. If I had anything in life I could make a better plan but for meantime I'm single and will probably never be loved because I have no ambition no talents no personality I'm just a dull human being whose only dream in life is to have enough money to be done with life to retire and live every day doing nothing but even that's extremely unrealistic sure I could get a job but I have no work ethic and my anxiety keeps me from doing a lot of things because I have anxiety attacks.
To sum up: I'm a dull human being with no skills or real dreams and I am asking for advice from people on the internet ",2.2366881028938903,3.6008241414791016,4.5522752411575595,84.5820334405145,76.07395498392283,7.419729903536979,23.37247588424437,8.109356740369918,1.2290194469453368,1152,34,245,19,25,403,145,311,0.182,0.7390000000000001,0.079,-0.9784,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,5,12,15,2,1,14,0,39,5,0,3,5,58,68,25,0,7,14,0,1,1,0,2,4,1,0,3,14,21,0,1,6,2,1,4,13,9,0,0,6,3,30,6,35,51,10,31,0,2,1,1,7,16,1,7,10,183,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670502519685066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729790438717713,0.0,0.227118161393482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287543688004147,0.0,0.09251659341695538,0.11258414853879316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809798934832142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504860643536088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370405488996305,0.0,0.0,0.06382263579642881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254602565245933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225473328167403,0.0,0.13072761683994208,0.1790345227007332,0.1667603757427612,0.0,0.17788225631772928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585191501753652,0.0,0.1124853567659609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865097603507881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820502687266178,0.08796243119258187,0.0,0.0,0.10877442130007102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011958774322207,0.2796006066223965,0.04834808648322222,0.0,0.17477142924941988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413439209250635,0.08931753436217478,0.09364072536632954,0.13211649565115596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21036298572211776,0.07274883596590516,0.0,0.07632599311436485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899144060963962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526545277031353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143335218046658,0.09447091927692412,0.06860814798827071,0.08641025172928159,0.0,0.0,0.09355156504569502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669833011297354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112641008756057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210523893501233,0.0,0.0941360148172746,0.0,0.0,0.10015534945616032,0.0,0.090091757711106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806318607954006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327100007066813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314925964350049,0.1268223685260637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837065591331767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720458902193995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819997575013528,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,depressivehyperaware,2018/01/08,"I'm stuck abroad and getting more and more depressed, what should I do? Hello everyone. I'm writing here because I really feel like I have no one to turn to at this point. I have been living abroad in different countries around the world for over 5 years now, and I'm in my early 20's. About three months ago I have accepted a job in a third world country, quite low paid but offering free accommodation. I am the only employee on ground (this is a small NGO). 

Lately the depression I've had for years has slowly been getting worse. Though I have made a few friends here, every relationship is extremely casual and I spend most of my time alone in a room with no air conditioning and shaky internet connection. I work in the evenings, which makes everything even more alienating. I can't follow through any of my passions and interests here as they all require a lot of money that I don't have. I have gotten sick many times already. Basically I've been having the worst time ever since I came here. My mind is now all foggy, feel like bursting into tears at any moment, I feel like a prisoner and extremely guilty for not being able to cope with this situation. Today I was riding my bike and wishing a car would hit me all the way home. So yeah, it's getting pretty bad.

Seriously thinking of quitting the job and moving somewhere else once again, but there's many things stopping me: I am the only employee and supposed to run the whole program, so people depend on me and it would be really hard to find a replacement. Also, if I were to leave the house I've been given, I'd be technically homeless for a while. Third, where the hell should I go? Just take a break and travel, get another job or internship in the continent, or move back home? 
Should I just wait for things to somehow get better? 
Please, someone advise me cos I'm feeling utterly lost.
Sorry for the long-ass post xx",5.433934426229509,6.276470658469943,6.026352459016392,79.01854508196723,67.82513661202185,9.378688524590164,29.730874316939893,9.516144504307137,2.601657923497268,1495,53,284,30,24,486,216,366,0.175,0.708,0.118,-0.9713,6,1,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,1,6,22,19,1,1,24,1,31,2,0,4,4,55,60,23,0,7,8,0,5,3,1,5,1,0,3,0,10,17,0,3,7,3,4,9,5,9,0,4,14,5,29,11,35,37,11,52,1,4,0,1,7,22,1,8,21,185,39,8,0.09467788251210432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392623031043607,0.0,0.0,0.09805773292714276,0.10447939766679776,0.07571386843875302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287684135023235,0.0992780149305908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428338831251336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280144753489384,0.07905207719981261,0.05771475841104446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837348931654435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082862751181542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630918429496304,0.0,0.0,0.0989182360650678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909122203832916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250676969417373,0.08564156514326697,0.07977019944003724,0.09046877407183496,0.08509037593677311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19148792860076144,0.20291369455254826,0.0,0.0,0.08653386938160135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314789717020967,0.0,0.2473264296354045,0.0,0.05380762248428758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481278609950806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189939271444656,0.0,0.0,0.10924556472313494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818595680689992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680077535194392,0.10025020717327722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387644930925344,0.0,0.08360230483740537,0.08378694668399905,0.0,0.0,0.10335209291807568,0.08049174999867265,0.0,0.08958650164838228,0.063198221762636,0.1919770251720181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559767170680482,0.0,0.07557098254147412,0.2012552112708161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082885492357553,0.06415618347306026,0.14401359199847533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563772267673743,0.0,0.0,0.10392788376377407,0.08950120157002164,0.0,0.09067524006259567,0.09632144382798136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014031643650764,0.0,0.0,0.12130615180598267,0.0,0.0,0.10164861360959193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831852278825474,0.1064219067913797,0.0,0.0,0.08022026261116443,0.0,0.0,0.10598413807989196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915494917506438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118598484124254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257995563489127,0.06066576418841604,0.09302053886227682,0.0,0.1656223040165116,0.0,0.08974356222724646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298234873480526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751508962454238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057044746826558,0.10887489239293946,0.0,0.0,0.06892662607695042,0.0,0.0964848508376255,0.1345129025908877,0.0,0.0,0.12193890440296873
mentalhealth,prettiawkward,2018/01/08,"I hate a lot of things....but what I hate most is myself I was diagnosed with bipolar, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and was previously diagnosed with BPD, which was a misdiagnosis. I am all kinds of fucked up. I have sunk into this negative pit of depression, anxiety, panic and self-loathing. I hate people. I hate my job, which makes me hate people even more (emergency dispatcher). I am almost hyperaware of everything around me. Loud chewing, people walking by (stop LOOKING at me), coughs and sneezes, people talking to me in a certain tone....but most of all, I hate myself for being this way. Why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just get wiped off the earth? I am too much of a pussy to kill myself. I am a troublesome person. ",3.1966574432761483,5.501358438848925,4.709496402877701,80.34201992252353,76.12230215827337,8.305700055340344,27.23907028223575,9.057496981413335,2.537645932484781,569,23,105,14,13,190,85,139,0.344,0.643,0.014,-0.9947,1,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,0,0,4,14,9,1,6,0,13,7,0,1,3,18,24,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,7,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,12,0,0,3,2,21,2,18,19,7,9,0,2,1,2,2,6,2,4,1,77,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410042433838345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743367024553479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143606666536803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351095386302645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962829851200973,0.2313055115613689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526023513451104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240728593041487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068241680902666,0.059532063688710564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6749882999100896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307378796443107,0.0,0.12606432760910502,0.11865718791548024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956859124507972,0.0,0.0,0.09687278457059006,0.0,0.0,0.07605981634337892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837633949566983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164285253550996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369103872374785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159831395725685,0.09949322140769018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319673525703005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188704920317894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526392877852034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158545035130228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044500315112736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563702023502675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prisci140,2018/01/08,"I don’t know if I need to seek help or maybe I’m just fine . I used to be in a physically abusive relationship two years ago that lasted for about five years. I finally escaped and started fresh . Months later I met my current boyfriend . Things between us could never be more perfect . However I’m starting to think I’ve been affected by my past relationship in more ways than one. For example, there are times when my boyfriend and I don’t see eye to eye and so we bicker a little. But I notice when we argue that sometimes I tend to get anxious and scared and I feel like I want to cry. 

Another time is when my bf and I were driving somewhere and I accidentally made him almost miss the exit and he got a little frustrated with me but he wasn’t yelling at all. And I automatically did not speak for a few minutes and I felt scared and I started to apologize to him saying I was sorry for frustrating him and I cried .  And it really just brought up terrible memories of me and my ex boyfriend . Anytime my ex and I were on the road , I would be the navigator . There were times where we’d miss an exit and he’d hit me in the car and call me incompetent . If I made a mistake he would hit me. 

In general when my current bf and I bicker I just get really scared and I feel a terrible knot in my stomach and I just want to break down and cry .  When will I stop acting like this ? Is this something that will go away on its own over time? ",2.182723704866561,4.002065697278916,4.03156462585034,86.29850863422294,77.4013605442177,7.3802197802197815,25.59340659340659,8.263242389622931,1.5812583987441131,1121,42,240,21,26,379,152,294,0.197,0.755,0.047,-0.9922,3,0,1,0,3,0,19.0,4,0,0,1,14,15,3,3,11,0,22,3,3,4,3,56,50,32,0,9,10,2,3,2,2,4,0,3,0,0,8,24,0,1,5,0,0,5,5,11,0,3,13,9,46,4,31,25,5,49,0,2,3,0,24,18,0,4,26,165,54,0,0.0,0.13260281239129082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992072699424794,0.0,0.11206825967151772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735426207207955,0.0,0.12643384702775332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514928387967842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142793117519625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935625936629557,0.0,0.3688052287490813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317674196227848,0.07995320650861829,0.10745743996971917,0.12259911135480304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169435575885654,0.0,0.06360475514051485,0.0,0.08950988973185234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501530514095607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615064096452761,0.0912269264961404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093535475440074,0.22433957158470508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179629346769968,0.0,0.0,0.11243521824419572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933072338741943,0.0,0.0,0.08298470459352092,0.0863169436888851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741773527026773,0.0,0.0,0.07583755148716215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683701170117853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339321691663118,0.0,0.0,0.2403129846853519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900053348157301,0.3361439751253954,0.0,0.08918300138748594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861588288287218,0.11068833079317747,0.1252814162773781,0.237645332820974,0.0,0.0,0.09356724805876776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435238363016786,0.07171160698919896,0.0,0.0,0.2610377639550797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932620836957467,0.0,0.13462183112050338,0.09665996681916364,0.0,0.0,0.13202256306062754,0.08883414902184568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900461379856884,0.0,0.0,0.14414117923382097
mentalhealth,Heyyyo97262,2018/01/08,"My life after being depressed I am actually not depressed for once. The past 2 years of my life have been living hell because of depression. I tried alcohol to cope with it. It didn’t help but postpone the thoughts. I couldn’t trust any of my friends and all I did was wanna party and drink my sorrows away. But now late 2017-Now I have been happy with my life. I am about to graduate from high school I am 17. I love hanging out with my friends now and some of my best moments have been with made with my friends. I do vape now to cope with some stress like school/family stuff. And I enjoy going to church now. When I was depressed I hated leaving my house for any reason. But now I play golf for my high school and leave my house as much as I can. 

If you are depressed I am here to help. I am a constant redditor even though I lurk a lot. Shoot me a message and I’ll try to help the best I can. Depression is a real thing and not a joke. 

Thanks for reading have a nice day :))))) ",1.462391640866873,3.3200224166666668,2.653250773993808,95.1635758513932,79.73529411764707,5.667285861713108,22.5015479876161,6.5966054737557815,0.33696470588235305,759,24,173,7,19,243,107,204,0.194,0.552,0.254,0.9702,0,0,2,1,0,1,24.0,0,1,0,2,10,24,2,1,9,0,23,6,0,2,1,30,29,15,0,3,6,0,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,4,14,2,0,2,5,0,2,4,10,0,0,9,0,31,14,28,18,7,19,2,7,0,1,9,4,1,4,14,124,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0983572630847525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771469253589047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708237478902804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469625665008456,0.0,0.0,0.06144112463743484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115474128834645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891902776167917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650017155804387,0.0,0.5208657123010478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873659400290856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657136031989108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501657824820724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23361212230983264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057281723609684365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072936606518589,0.0,0.09951002953222708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026738079293358,0.2129819880083459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259805786371024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369639119060662,0.21344576823813896,0.0,0.0,0.21357452823349352,0.04924128449450082,0.0,0.0890001062624025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856887177579748,0.090967615055488,0.09537067407279833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409282122642066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733889239019563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096216205251191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081805649231072,0.11472197477410695,0.0,0.10362970962652683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060169542342715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545549918551573,0.0,0.11538133034838025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927946095458429,0.0,0.0,0.0669609163562613,0.0,0.09902643066396008,0.08001662173447263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686064853930674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490595845707768
mentalhealth,BottomHippo,2018/01/08,"i'm diagnosed with panic disorder, PTSD, narcolepsy, and depression. today, i got into stanford's (ranked #4) and delaware's (ranked #5) chemical engineering PhD programs. this goes out to everyone who feels like they will never be able to live up to their full potential because of their mental illnesses. i've felt like that for so long and couldn't stop crying when i received my acceptances. it is possible. don't give up. don't let them win.",4.817996515679443,7.128905085365857,5.815156794425089,74.23524390243907,71.3170731707317,10.539372822299653,31.22648083623693,10.608840637214634,4.0533846689895485,355,16,60,12,7,117,67,82,0.175,0.691,0.133,-0.7032,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,3,2,6,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,12,12,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,2,7,4,10,6,1,11,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,35,11,2,0.2202743326976292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427718870003633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419610111825265,0.0,0.0,0.1897219599813265,0.22357381094981665,0.0,0.0,0.2524534689447003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104815645417322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137732111507513,0.1573640272920791,0.21149790301792448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113072115382436,0.0,0.0,0.1761735063015376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252454292259657,0.0,0.21522982493949053,0.0,0.19450627138485996,0.19493585280839126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198471828324068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988914485827925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584444686643585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483262132899147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574889072592384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18415920536692326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879431139566898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nemoigloo,2018/01/08,"What does my therapist have to report? So, I've been seeing my current therapist since I was 12 years old. That was almost 5 years ago and I've run into a problem.
I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar and I want to get help for it but I don't know how to go about telling her everything. 
Since I'm 17, there's a lot of shit that I do that's illegal and obviously is an endangerment to myself, hence why I want to get help. Some of the shit I'm referring to is-
-sending nudes (which could be considered child pornography)
-getting romantically involved with men up to 5 years older than me
-drugs (not too hardcore but considering I'm a minor so smoking and drinking is illegal for me as well as marijuana where I live, as well as abusing the meds she prescribed me and cough syrup, y'know)
-sneaking out, being out past the city's curfew (which doesn't apply to me anymore but I did have a few run-ins with the cops)
-lying to my parents
Like I've talked to her before about what kind of stuff gets back to my parents and she's always been pretty vague about it but it still makes me nervous. Like I genuinely do want help with some of this shit because it's starting to seriously impact my life but I don't want my parents to know everything because, well, my situation with my parents (obviously) is a bit complicated. ",3.226094020048393,5.042406771863122,4.775694780504669,82.1155850328379,74.43726235741445,7.823643276875218,27.54389906671276,8.575989854853784,2.0559292775665408,1043,41,206,20,22,350,137,263,0.145,0.713,0.14300000000000002,-0.8225,5,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,14,13,3,1,10,0,19,9,4,2,3,37,38,18,0,6,6,4,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,13,13,1,0,3,1,0,3,4,6,3,0,5,1,27,7,35,30,5,19,0,0,1,1,17,5,3,4,13,131,40,1,0.0,0.11765422233504785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802342864812564,0.0,0.09943457233159418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262552666000497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847888380589694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763555446117915,0.0,0.12106467549291705,0.0,0.08449695747588519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840984466028122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928294292497848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689806962085507,0.0,0.0,0.09727616301602483,0.11515643517708744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17848881350224002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075205356063807,0.0,0.056434459178634336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967602263687373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340563414080414,0.16371799356899147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013850279900584,0.0970258953324725,0.0,0.08768368944314572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442128029060185,0.0,0.0,0.06628349853716795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029987690951168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419861050889756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410434445705501,0.0,0.09479305379444676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020475292817356,0.0,0.0950166569312755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912921667745337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30578996507686845,0.16428391641036935,0.11161732255098844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028502719359038,0.0,0.07930108130438916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136747040276093,0.0,0.0,0.09358904300744264,0.0,0.0,0.07981355144193514,0.08679254731051615,0.0,0.0,0.2305898286806688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23427877142970965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26784778526904,0.0,0.08960277440324442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183776772964345
mentalhealth,My_RolePlay_Account,2018/01/08,"Am I manipulative? I feel like I am a manipulative person. Too often in my life have I started a relationship with charm. I used to think I was just cocky, but I think it's deeper than that. I always make a person feel comfortable. Most girls have told me they've never felt more comfortable around someone. I enjoy it very much because I like being dominant (NOT abusive or untrustworthy). I just like to make people feel good, whether it's a white lie about how beautiful they look, or a lie about my feelings. There have been times where ""I love you"" lost it's meaning in the relationship but was said anyways. It hurts to do that, if that means anything.

Vulnerabilities are easy for me to detect and take advantage of. But is it bad? Is it bad to make someone swoon simply by knowing what to say to them specifically? Isn't that how relationships start anyways? I do genuinely love to make people happy and feel good, and I always do what I say I will do to help them, but I can't stop this gut feeling that I am being disingenuous to myself and to them. It makes it hard to maintain a relationship when I feel like I am being shady when I am unsure if I have actually done anything wrong. 

For example, I have been talking to a new girl these past few days. She's obsessed with me now, and I am obsessed with her. I know what to say or do to get what I want from her while simultaneously giving her what she wants. Is this wrong? Surely she could say no to these things, right? It's not my fault if I literally charm the pants off a shy girl, is it? I care deeply about her and would never make her do anything she doesn't want. But the problem is, my way with words often brings out the secrets and desires of people. So I am wondering if you think this is a bad thing. They always have the option to say no, I'm just good at knowing what to say to get them to say yes with their own free will while also making them feel super comfortable about it.

I feel like that reddit post where the guy secretly read the girls journal to find out exactly what she likes, and he uses it to his advantage and they eventually get married. Except I don't need a journal.

Is it possible that another mental illness is only making me think that I am manipulative? The doctor I had as a teen said I may be bipolar, but I have not looked into it thoroughly. 

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mentalhealth,Taylor6534,2018/01/08,"Brain feels foggy, memory issues, Over the past month or 2, I've been experiencing some mental issues that I'm not sure what's being caused by. My brain just feels foggy, my attention is all over the place, my brain just feels fatigued. I have a very hard time remembering anything, I forget conversations I had with people the day before and can't remember simple steps. It feels like my senses are not as sharp as they use to be. I've been taking Lexapro for a few months now, could the Lexapro be causing it? 
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mentalhealth,krispeon,2018/01/08,"Eating disorder I've been dealing with an eating disorder since I was 14 and I don't know how to deal with it. I've relapsed a couple of times and now I feel like I've hit a huge low. In the past month I've fasted a whole two weeks. I've been so down lately I've stopped caring, truly and I don't know how to get better. I've tried getting help but I just can't speak up about it. I'm so ashamed of myself... On New Year's Eve I didn't eat all day and I drank, and with nothing in my stomach I became drunk really quick. Basically by the end of the night I was sobbing about my grandparents and telling my boyfriend vivid details about my eating disorder which I've never been compelled to do... ever. I thought 2018 was going to be good but I just feel like it went off to a horrible start. I don't know who to go to about this or what to do, I've been seeing a new therapist but she has been on maternity leave and will be until around the summer so I'm starting over with a new therapist this month. If anyone could help me with this or give me some sort of advice I would appreciate it very much. I'm so embarrassed about my New Year's Eve antics that I don't feel comfortable confiding in my boyfriend. He's trying to force me to get better and I understand, it's hard to see someone you love suffer, I'm too ashamed and feel so vulnerable...I'm just not ready to recover but I want to be. I want to get better again, I don't know what to do to start :p",2.044824281150156,3.3265683450479244,3.807176996805112,90.06649712460067,76.41214057507987,7.1805239616613425,23.06313099041533,7.839951260653429,0.8995580575079871,1144,33,262,17,25,385,151,313,0.158,0.705,0.13699999999999998,-0.8392,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,3,21,15,0,3,11,0,25,8,1,3,3,49,58,24,0,5,11,0,5,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,13,15,6,1,10,1,0,3,9,6,0,1,12,9,30,9,42,39,4,44,0,3,3,1,12,12,1,5,31,159,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886959525875321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359028171530358,0.0,0.0,0.08095959703211987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412981968546024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272364752098926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261152354024343,0.10062799984834013,0.0,0.05865146924919221,0.1875189021531925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126897107411835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722343810404863,0.0,0.0,0.08054954538609943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226421293707692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393642978080565,0.12994107357874196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19005831141416007,0.08724193958015135,0.10337134092027468,0.07627965917033645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146811754088096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219159269591276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999221607308413,0.0,0.1025889906460679,0.09629675001960096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886146027164436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208066863245858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518154564915034,0.0,0.06685443279369488,0.0,0.07014175428824446,0.3513378036845552,0.0,0.08534494750732556,0.0,0.0872633886875967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681650558254556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582611672617784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494146578117806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522996134870177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705670434996581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19311226544995547,0.0,0.0,0.07603340250809196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794892174741626,0.0,0.0,0.2111863933864136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219951638470266,0.0530302797944399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349025018107805,0.0,0.08883924426661045,0.0946760934904835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750384688170383,0.10728246139112584,0.0,0.07294993151453223,0.0,0.0,0.0843061613529309,0.0,0.10153592358043792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460413260202445,0.0,0.0,0.11713013395234903
mentalhealth,Srogbar,2018/01/08,"Does anyone 'do characters' to cope with symptoms? When I'm experiencing intrusive, repetitive thoughts, anxiety, and my the low end of my bpd symptoms, I sometimes do different characters with different names and accents to cope. It helps me separate myself from those symptoms and distract me from what's going on in my head. It's also generally more entertaining to the people around me who would probably rather hear a crooning grandma from Biloxi than me in the throes of a panic attack. Idk if it's relevant but I have a pretty good repertoire of voices/accents/characters so I don't think it's too cringy. So just sending a note out here to see if anyone else does this as a conscious choice in rough times? 

This is my first post, because I could seriously not find this on the internet elsewhere, so please let me know if a thread on this already exists and I'll bugger off.

Thanks! ",6.430876232201536,7.599878144578319,6.644852135815992,74.30085980284777,65.74698795180723,9.891785323110623,34.36801752464403,10.018931242160765,3.5905493975903617,716,32,123,16,11,230,107,166,0.081,0.7959999999999999,0.123,0.9199,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,10,8,1,2,10,0,8,4,1,0,0,24,16,14,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,11,8,0,0,5,1,0,2,2,5,0,1,1,4,14,3,23,12,1,18,0,1,1,0,5,10,0,3,5,86,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271680915001174,0.11791721005176492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280027971692108,0.0,0.0,0.2062035569076807,0.15108186956808795,0.0,0.13126342912409233,0.0,0.16774779307321022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898852935528872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185710473012276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772832280817412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081116487785887,0.0,0.0,0.2580722565107529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317711978867735,0.0,0.13059859398227128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476834116217995,0.125422488365504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380029780143018,0.12367563577598994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132816218881268,0.0,0.16618897803245092,0.0,0.09883388272763016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103569353555684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077953093470248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300300339851796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022245632377546,0.0,0.0,0.1618578782554436,0.0,0.0,0.14121813545433212,0.1500115653652159,0.1589780589305687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175000526074848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583367333338038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597768649796033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575387443464396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448120676257588,0.0,0.11706031711098065,0.0859803732776309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047455804104964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_Think_Oddly,2018/01/08,"I feel as if there is a part of me wanting to hurt others for pleasure. I feel as if I'm becoming a monster. In my early life I had troubles regarding domestic abuse. I saw my mother beaten in front of me until she was bruised and bloody, have been homeless, called worthless, beaten myself, taken by CPS, you name it. 

All of this torture at such a young age must've done something to me. I don't feel right. I mainly feel empty, with occasional moments of happiness that fade rather fast. I find myself laughing at some of the sickest things imaginal, and often finding myself daydreaming about things of peoples nightmares. Snapped limbs, entrails, blood, cracked skulls, severed tendons, etc. I can't stop imagining it. I want it to stop, but it is the only thing that fills my head. Blood, guts, gore, repeat. I fantasize about it without even thinking.

Whenever I see someone in pain, for some sick perverse reason I feel pleasure. It doesn't matter if it involves blood, bones crunching, mutilating insects, it all feels good. In videos it doesn't do much to make me feel good, however if it happens in front of me I laugh until I can't breath, and in the back of my mind find it intoxicating. Imagine flowers, once you get a sniff you want more. It's like sexual pleasure in a sick way, getting off to others suffering. My god I feel sick typing that.

On one occurrence I got punched in the face, causing my lip to split open. While I was beating the tar out of the guy, I realized it felt good to hear him yelling in pain. In another confrontation, I strangled a person until they became blue as I couldn't pry my own hands away from his throat. It was like something locked them there, and his face full of fear was so satisfying. 

I also saw someone break their leg, and felt that same intoxicating feeling. Oh, and one incident involving glass and a girls hand really made me get that same high again as she started screaming.

On the other side, I know this is wrong. I don't want to kill another person, that is wrong. To see someone in pain is good for me, but I really wish it wasn't. What the hell is wrong with me? I always dreaded going to a therapist as I feel as they will only view me as a freak.",4.577337955984323,5.9053073457943945,5.178628278564967,82.52518993066026,70.16822429906541,8.0459451311426,29.92794694000603,8.460557738077197,2.2085321676213447,1736,69,332,27,31,558,227,428,0.192,0.652,0.156,-0.9597,2,0,2,0,2,0,63.0,0,3,4,3,12,32,6,2,17,0,24,26,16,4,2,62,59,26,1,11,8,1,14,2,0,1,10,3,0,4,30,11,0,2,22,1,0,4,9,20,0,2,15,24,57,12,58,42,13,45,1,3,6,0,22,23,1,7,18,225,87,3,0.0,0.09832180846907206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636182808139945,0.06904887088358412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403074746909555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779656748136727,0.06380914415033179,0.0,0.0,0.0916486913137764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473537174232519,0.0,0.0,0.08524685312653978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492087175556541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254847280808742,0.054809780388503114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337944230969533,0.4195892132940761,0.0,0.15935423451054134,0.0,0.22753608611738305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006626929961712,0.0,0.047161402083947535,0.2784102939891827,0.06636943874412854,0.0,0.0,0.08216665359300747,0.07338198314525317,0.08833741640772567,0.0,0.0,0.08516495156762581,0.0,0.09352836947525717,0.0,0.0,0.08767656191303844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883549028947263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918088828546715,0.0,0.04560552917171996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861365875057972,0.0810830355943614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852093867866658,0.0553920914905412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378961986232293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061002377603080686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837465677104278,0.11246345499944886,0.12622529307584568,0.26490069715158066,0.0,0.0,0.08986298032489537,0.0,0.05753026965531127,0.14491588036507785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632263490640036,0.08532079859959177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708674055149871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225411773684664,0.0,0.0,0.09374766844905308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21093480174057608,0.12776941473940462,0.0,0.0,0.05873610691414295,0.0,0.0,0.13875574547341266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635017137716073,0.16539153334694598,0.053172438504513024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578313498418026,0.065868393197161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954268622162097,0.07999307620834556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27218809853317777,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hogenhero,2018/01/08,"Looking for self care advice for people who do mental health work Hey, 

I got a new job recently that is mental health related. I've always been quite good at taking care of my own mental health before but with this job I am quickly seeing why it is so easy to burn out at that kind of work. 

Most stuff I have seen online really pushes exercise but like, that always feels more like self flagellation to me and so many excercise related activities are pretty expensive. 

TIA",5.904333333333334,6.987416544444442,6.6488888888888935,74.11000000000001,66.8888888888889,10.0,26.11111111111111,10.125756701596842,2.6111111111111107,379,10,66,9,6,125,67,90,0.0,0.735,0.265,0.9813,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,0,7,15,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,5,6,10,12,3,7,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,1,5,39,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486575342039264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296775272409324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743980968678985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814290882364165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978406144311253,0.09859728030394976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575965519708968,0.11038246085747384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401075127401972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739153402192126,0.0,0.0,0.14372041735944924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485340801516935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589706038410323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399246064037981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172571686502781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332948503394824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956815796322988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040992773796052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679495359932462,0.0,0.0,0.08841534829807092,0.0,0.13627224553071554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997934629678248,0.0,0.28795755278982194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799309236684134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376940575521988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453623287357485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095177568080805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gimtibbles,2018/01/08,"I finally sent a request in for an appointment with a counselor. I have terrible anxiety and depression. I'm already panicking about getting a phone call to set up the actual appointment. It's now occurring to me I could have put that in my message to them and ask if we could strictly do it over email. :/
I saw a counselor when I was a child but I'm 27 now and this will be the first time I'm doing it on my own. Does anyone have any advice? I'm scared. ",1.4978830409356725,3.43015848421053,3.804561403508776,86.58637426900587,79.94736842105263,8.011695906432749,26.345029239766077,8.841846274778883,2.1549415204678364,356,15,76,9,9,123,65,95,0.15,0.85,0.0,-0.882,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,1,4,3,0,1,8,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,18,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,3,1,10,0,11,11,1,14,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,1,6,54,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.25042400440992496,0.0,0.0,0.2507659961482541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28318644076730776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745103317845992,0.0,0.19631352100287489,0.0,0.0,0.1794346007006888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399049652406416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620376095946259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097802173937121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210263437313235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245698037093745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28111455682866643,0.0,0.21828075573717445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340733060875864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25797387826376394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569212874758188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963712729819764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rulweylan,2018/01/08,"Finally going to my doctor about depression tomorrow. Any advice? I've had bad periods for a few years now where I have, I believe, suffered from depression (to the point of having suicide methods prepped and ready)

I've finally got to the point of going to a GP (in the UK) about it, and I'm terrified. My Dad tried to kill himself a while back, and I can't tell if it's the medication or age or losing his job but he doesn't seem as present as he was. I'm scared that medication would do that to me. Equally, I'm scared that the GP is going to tell me that I'm not sick, and that this is just normal for me, and that there's nothing they can do. My work is primarily mental, and I'm scared of losing my ability to do my job.

Sorry for the ramble, but if anyone has advice for how to talk to a doctor about this whole thing, it'd be greatly appreciated. I struggle with opening up to people about this stuff, especially in person, and I'm not sure how I can get it across to the doctor. 

Thanks.",4.851811594202901,4.526331342995166,6.357789855072465,80.20451086956525,68.90338164251207,9.412077294685991,29.32729468599034,9.075114841892004,2.168523671497585,776,25,166,13,12,267,109,207,0.185,0.746,0.069,-0.9679,2,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,1,3,11,14,1,4,11,0,18,6,0,2,1,24,31,18,2,4,9,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,15,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,11,0,0,3,0,16,3,31,25,3,21,0,5,0,0,10,8,0,5,10,116,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253098662899302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839759003320744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806097846451194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864686428029467,0.09625795909138148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988644620633105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19858918959337285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539965104564146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525776388508996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06023152885884861,0.0,0.19655695741449775,0.0,0.09220375397684287,0.12710185481044048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22880467099448115,0.0,0.12754550600097994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579483153174869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23227453410909146,0.11617992274147106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295458745623732,0.11061883639709767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992393682836471,0.10066220562774686,0.0,0.0,0.21796272291696472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462604688276222,0.0,0.0,0.10495091564473907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905185023593216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052066208063456,0.1319734684792227,0.12610281588641062,0.0,0.10865452189207787,0.0,0.0,0.09266152312020737,0.20152792311531026,0.10613871794477878,0.0,0.0,0.07659007187211699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827078450002348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871131740233602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392867826169871,0.0,0.0,0.08189498577076823,0.0,0.0,0.07423960563364337
mentalhealth,lostgirl6644,2018/01/08,"What's wrong with me? Hi, I just need to vent. All my life I've been a pariah. Teachers saw it, my peers knew there was something odd about me. I've always had weird thoughts and ways of thinking, but I've never been able to share this with anyone. 

I feel so alone in this world and often the weight of it makes me wish I was never here. I wish I had the resolve to go through with it. 
My parents were always rather distant and left me to my own devices. They expected me to do my own thing and successfully navigate my way to adulthood. I could never tell them what was *really* going on. They expected good grades and didn't really talk to me much. Often I was just relieved they weren't yelling, hitting or threatening me. 

I don't think I will ever be able to have a career, find a partner or even have a friend. If I've had my problems for so long and can't help myself, what hope is there for me? I've been diagnosed with depression and obviously have anxiety, but it's like no one really cares. 

I've had a few friends but my internal weirdness seems to mean they all leave me in the end. I'm an adult but I feel stuck in fifteen years ago. I'm just too different, I put my faith in people but it's like they either don't care or are ignorant to my struggles with my mental health, with life. Am I doomed to be an alien forever?",2.6002198884148338,3.988959296028881,3.889407614046604,89.6032417131605,75.17328519855596,7.346832950443058,24.14325566130621,8.00094639256281,1.1310664259927798,1043,32,230,16,22,342,146,277,0.16,0.674,0.166,0.7668,2,1,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,6,2,15,21,0,1,10,0,28,5,0,1,7,56,50,18,0,10,14,1,3,2,3,1,4,1,0,2,11,13,1,1,10,0,0,3,9,8,0,1,18,5,39,13,28,27,7,20,2,2,1,0,16,7,0,8,10,158,50,3,0.2413548831932249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697327071522386,0.0,0.0,0.12498543508193298,0.0,0.0,0.200826597353337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231791251272556,0.0,0.0,0.084380473054627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460773888752449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963511175021011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039393036167749,0.12248506298037215,0.0,0.12608224158431092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688439429225713,0.0,0.0,0.07970631203850459,0.1091596548380534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203628084531964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029699536311466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864701840484116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716754214417556,0.10121851250880212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827447728562166,0.0,0.0,0.08088754533091494,0.0,0.0,0.1198599287278338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777998620379755,0.13111639339214806,0.0,0.17047609171125613,0.11791380462215804,0.0,0.0,0.10679573831537778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055312934143014,0.0,0.0,0.1314531117029819,0.0,0.0,0.12161447749220472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871180489790365,0.0894807938455779,0.2792216474627969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177415758260077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399801768067385,0.0,0.0,0.08366254329614888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115472013763478,0.0,0.1213141601376194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319271776278593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986021050182176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290339030743766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615826383846465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969959563751142,0.10547740302898803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017272995218706,0.15465046366717106,0.0,0.09580440882667696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157627213368994,0.0,0.14695261317262334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775462044455137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319418381237391,0.0,0.07771231582287899
mentalhealth,Lozmck,2018/01/09,Hallucinations or an overreaction? I went to the supermarket the other day. When I was sat in my car the other cars in the car park came to life - their headlights were eyes and they were coming at me. If I caught a glimpse of people out of the corner of my eye their faces would be replaced with monsters / demons. Now lying in bed and as the branches form shadows the shadows are becoming 3D / popping out at me. I can see dozens of little faces in the room no matter which way I look. My hand was over my mouth and there was a 'pressure' keeping it there when I tried to take it away. Am I just being paranoid?,3.7244990892531895,4.9575858032786915,4.495027322404372,86.9793897996357,72.11475409836065,6.733697632058287,25.850637522768675,6.937597516519254,0.9670626593806916,476,15,99,4,9,153,81,122,0.08,0.885,0.036000000000000004,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,11,0,11,7,6,0,0,14,20,8,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,0,7,1,1,0,1,9,5,16,0,19,8,1,25,1,0,4,0,3,13,0,2,4,76,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27463835320313423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228375271013993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343290113190137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518023781962383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851816063179366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598218567158287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064698183263424,0.0,0.2929751312848812,0.0,0.0,0.2454698955604557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20265352099147246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329361811232041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978353125337965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984618213159041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320250171506553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27097773801123715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20765127290504973,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BritishOvation,2018/01/09,"I don't know how to explain this to someone, or if anyone else feels this way? I have a history of depression anxiety and OCD. I have a hard time making friends as I feel like no one likes me and people are talking about me all the time, not just talking about me but bitching and being really vile about me. Logically I know this isn't the case but it really prevents me making friends. Combine this with i dont like making contact because I feel like I'm intruding and why would they want to speak to me.

Then there is the really strange one. I often feel like I've outlived the life I should have lived. Like I should have died years ago and I'm not living now because someone's going to tap me on the shoulder and say ""hop it"" 

I'm nuts aren't I

How do I explain this without getting sectioned?!",2.5491550522648083,4.296537835365854,3.8724738675958217,88.16329268292688,76.1341463414634,6.636933797909408,26.958188153310104,7.447530270364453,1.4125919860627176,631,25,130,8,14,207,89,164,0.147,0.6990000000000001,0.154,-0.294,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,9,11,2,0,7,0,15,2,1,5,1,36,32,14,1,5,8,0,5,6,2,3,1,2,0,0,7,7,0,1,9,0,0,1,8,3,0,2,0,7,20,8,13,28,2,10,0,1,0,0,10,2,1,3,12,86,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921913912540424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102886094648083,0.0,0.0,0.09404000914721354,0.13780305838780518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397028169010475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158378557151326,0.0,0.1395815747409201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576237491595788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235089874653052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27201300375635845,0.2882435669018951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078165383387081,0.0,0.0702665755748266,0.0,0.07643496445906531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047851200047385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782669078296012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094995753422294,0.3942363036317126,0.0,0.23751799109165306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693235797054841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18227066639209308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323989368672504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584772651308967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695352255461604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279094536604639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21619932419324805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684685969077136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932692998377679,0.1067535753928401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135820873673815,0.0,0.0,0.1296455929379022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553933489462876,0.0,0.0,0.0866085081806015
mentalhealth,throwawei78921,2018/01/09,"What would someone who threatens suicide to manipulate people to date him be diagnosed with? So, a friend of mine...he's seemingly pretty stable, but he engages in very manipulative behavior sometimes, over the years. Girls who have not liked him...he's thrown out the prospect of suicide to try to emotionally manipulate them...I'm genuinely curious as to if this is a common feature of any personality disorders. He really wants to stop that sort of behavior. Is he just a manipulative asshole, or could this qualify as a symptom of some larger problem?",6.288788659793812,8.794199154639177,7.507822164948454,62.8312177835052,67.76288659793815,11.03556701030928,37.89819587628866,10.9516,5.228691752577322,446,25,67,15,8,151,70,97,0.188,0.684,0.128,-0.866,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,6,2,0,4,0,19,8,6,2,5,5,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,17,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,5,5,43,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965666147209586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570976642273722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336867868798854,0.0,0.0,0.25222183917164703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24755163531306024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700272572512547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751617420381168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257037304811635,0.1921585806947014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389257302152896,0.0,0.2105794005586014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409839043717273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034549081391712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646648441599434,0.0,0.21765706048263575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839902365857728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4814465959934936,0.0,0.0,0.2287393087891541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941459672566085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158263572660246,0.12980430180509506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633299641693765,0.0,0.0,0.14171929932323085
mentalhealth,Impfac,2018/01/09,"Self-destructive behavior, depression; how do I get the most from therapy? I have a lot of self esteem issues from childhood grounded in part on physical and emotional problems from a hormone disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was 28. It made me depressed, lack self confidence, and generally feel and look like ass.

Now I'm on treatment but have a lot of negative behaviors. I'm:
immature
avoidant
moody
over-sensitive
'egotistical' (sort of)

I can't talk to my wife or really accept anything remotely like criticism or blame from her without taking it as intense personal attack. In school (law student at top university) I get good grades but feel like a fake. I put in 1/5 the work of others and do better, which is amazing, but I can't get myself to just WORK. I'd easily be in the top 10% of the class. Instead I'm barely in the 65% (its stupid but those numbers matter a lot for job hunting).

I'm going to start therapy tomorrow. How do I get the most out of it? How do I set goals that will help me change my behaviors and perceptions? How do I finish growing up? :(",3.2896872616323454,5.542555792270537,5.07633867276888,78.07249427917621,75.61835748792271,9.188812611238241,29.73531655225019,9.682069395223575,3.2944260869565216,847,39,154,25,19,288,126,207,0.182,0.632,0.18600000000000005,-0.6021,1,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,6,7,15,2,1,11,0,14,2,1,5,0,35,29,17,0,2,8,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,9,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,3,3,16,7,27,24,7,23,0,2,1,1,7,13,1,8,9,103,25,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072406341145097,0.0,0.0,0.15307126280943947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899948433175975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233718774826798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23177727320170244,0.13656650043664362,0.0,0.0,0.15420717941157805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135183997437882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606612427524645,0.09612330894480084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811895158695879,0.0,0.07646847194391247,0.11285505102728195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901867438033942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404363561844471,0.1335211721431065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720456427816085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298900848737825,0.0,0.0,0.3431715159847808,0.0,0.12731547263313894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457056933451424,0.0,0.0,0.1174848015777734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874719932647755,0.0,0.13526098530120473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619685871373052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617286285282504,0.0,0.0,0.4210983212388266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952359375504562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116565708179896,0.10814705072060414,0.0,0.0,0.3077417420575793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970242684593908,0.0,0.19590955812600472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blackbird_SR71C,2018/01/09,"Need help making a choice Hey r/mentalhealth, I haven't posted in a while.

I feel like I've been able to narrow down my problem, and it's a conflict over a decision:

Option A: Just be myself. This means I'm more relaxed, less stressed and will be less (over-)ambitious. I will take things less serious in general but also feel like I'm dominated a lot more by my feelings and moods, and have less self control.

Option B: The serious way of life. I will overcome myself more often to step out of and expand my comfort zone, but doing this as much as possible stresses and fatiques me. I feel like I accomplish more but cannot enjoy these accomplishments at all. Everything becomes a chore/work.

My entire life boils down to this conflict, and I cannot seem to resolve it. Has anyone made similar experiences? How to deal with this choice?",3.4498333333333338,5.8267701500000015,4.42625,82.32708333333333,75.625,7.5166666666666675,26.916666666666664,8.447377352677275,2.1153416666666662,664,26,121,13,15,215,99,160,0.126,0.736,0.138,0.5918,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,4,13,0,2,8,0,12,3,0,4,1,35,24,15,0,2,4,0,4,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,8,9,1,3,8,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,4,14,7,18,17,11,12,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,5,4,86,22,2,0.1633273672065074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061283654649147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420229270122954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038224510004627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831855303300212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838334390928147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678810623577615,0.15976550519257934,0.0,0.0,0.3303328971916073,0.35004331130003985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947489144538022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23072589924409004,0.23938050489935375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388550869570499,0.0,0.15454430394132504,0.109022285868135,0.0,0.0,0.1779113839462905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200644075845131,0.1211051732700699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18412706613746974,0.15642246992953593,0.0,0.0,0.1562822325738787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486871009578888,0.17038606437160753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741818946189652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280185379764967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850744539828384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964166182535025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890426854589248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chris-the-man,2018/01/09,"Living Well with Mental Illness - AMA Hi everyone:  

I have spent more than half my life (22yrs diagnosed) with mental illness.  For the longest time I was diagnosed with depression and had that modified to Bipolar Disorder II a couple years ago.

I have learned a lot about how to live and cope with mental illness.  I am hosting an AMAFeed (ask me anything) on the topic.  

https://healthama.com/living-well-with-mental-illness-strategies-to-ease-the-symptoms-associated-475355

I am interested in helping spread a message of hope to everyone who is interested.  The AMA goes live this evening (9pm Eastern USA)

Post a question to the link if you'd like to learn more.

",7.997641509433963,11.528311971698114,6.244,69.17600000000003,66.0754716981132,8.013584905660379,33.241509433962264,8.841846274778883,3.22232,543,24,79,10,10,159,76,106,0.128,0.7390000000000001,0.133,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,9,0,8,7,0,1,0,14,11,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,8,5,15,7,3,6,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,4,4,52,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048667308979556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113561497188677,0.0,0.13761503457296573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287743862376095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678582080872045,0.2988161110648041,0.0,0.0,0.1687075142978335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972262642118264,0.0,0.0,0.2813177549731594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866714006276543,0.0,0.0,0.1462059001459439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397390815492248,0.07191600281843062,0.0,0.3899491224800825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514681798112776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5933844393617561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097988630755146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649011694369168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583531577133134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647065440871971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479397499984853
mentalhealth,LevIsNormal,2018/01/09,"What's with me? Hi, fellow Redditors. Lately I've been feeling like I'm the most weird and abnormal person in my entire family tree. From the words of my relatives (and I don't think they're lying, they're known to be more straightforward), everyone in our family is inteligent, well educated, sociable, successful and very awesome. For some reason I don't fit in these definitions. Am I really are a deviation in our family? Thank you for your time and answers. ",4.922043189368772,7.019592034883722,6.627009966777412,69.43244186046513,70.51162790697674,11.42591362126246,28.564784053156142,11.20814326018867,4.0831249169435235,369,14,62,14,7,127,66,86,0.045,0.7070000000000001,0.248,0.9567,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,2,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,13,11,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,10,4,10,9,3,7,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351959360259121,0.0,0.0,0.6961125677657398,0.0,0.1244550483494952,0.1758414318914352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776550095312254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025086436323028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149186910198873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768266019088106,0.2530714274460509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266113104214868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771564652453754,0.0,0.0,0.14352537001330873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20309008445636656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130811976198494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gordcuhnt1,2018/01/09,"Question (not sure if this is the right place) I was professionally diagnosed with clinical depression and GAD as a preteen and have had a long history of psychiatric help. With the help of therapy twice a week, I saw a large change in who I was and who I became. But then I started bringing my family into sessions in which they'd bring up events that.. I can't remember for the fucking life of me..
They would tell of times where I had imaginary friends (more then not, a small blue cat) that in my mind was very real. They noted that I would distance myself from my brothers so I could play with my imaginary friends. Moreover, they talked about my sleeping patterns as a child and how I'd wake up countless times in the night crying, saying there are people in my room or right outside of my window. But as I said, I cannot remember any of this what so ever. I remember having a great childhood for what little we had and I remember having bountiful friends in and outside of school. Yeah, I slept horribly, but we lived next to an airport, what's to expect? Sure, my home life was stressful because I could never live up to my step-dads expectations and he'd always let that be known; effectively murdering my self-esteem and any ego I may have ever built up for myself, but I've come to terms with that and have been working to better myself in ways I see redeemable. Regardless of the cons, I felt more normal then than I ever have, even now. But this little ""revelation"" spurred my long-time therapist to reffer me to another treatment center for ""further diagnosis"". I just thought everyone was fucking dumb and chalked everything up to a childs imagination and they where taking things to the absolute extreme. So because of this, I haven't contacted any mental-health clinic since then, I refused to answer the new treatment centers calls or emails until they stopped coming, and I have virtually no interaction with my physician what so ever despite many letters in the mail.. this was three years ago.
Now, I'm almost 21 and feel as if I've got a firm graps on normality. But I'm more depressed and stressed out then I can ever recall being before despite my strive for personal acceptance. But for the past three months, I've been seeing flashes of light from behind my fence (which i can see over while on the top step of deck) whenver I leave the house almost as if someone is taking pictures of me. I've talked to my neighbor's if they installed some sort of cameras or lights and obviously they told me ""no""; but not believing them and being the detremined son of a bitch I am, I did myself some snooping around the outside of their house and came up with absolutely nothing. 
I haven't thought about what my parents said durring my last therapy session at all until yesterday evening... but it really got me pondering the situations. My close friends and family have urged me to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital this past week but I don't see myself as any worse then I was last week or the week before. If thing do persist though I'm going to seek a professional diagnosis.
Is it a possiblity that my depression and GAD are just symptoms of something else? What do I do if I don't want to seek professional help after a diagnosis??
",6.915517799352756,7.146302088996768,7.1629288025890006,74.28364886731396,64.51779935275081,10.232362459546927,34.8042071197411,9.994966539143718,3.44528284789644,2593,109,466,52,36,841,289,618,0.091,0.8370000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.9582,1,0,1,0,0,0,68.0,2,0,10,5,23,20,5,2,30,1,49,12,3,2,10,107,80,60,1,16,25,3,2,0,5,3,7,3,4,3,26,34,0,3,16,1,0,7,12,10,0,3,24,13,77,10,79,45,7,84,0,3,6,2,45,35,4,17,41,340,103,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058634277810882734,0.0,0.13247096659694035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503862049977522,0.0,0.0,0.17992570147936215,0.06935965891022967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888380291690401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064375502018371,0.0,0.1125704407316539,0.07452368732392342,0.0,0.058500601899626636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754227706483726,0.07565319584709156,0.0,0.0,0.06997350621082901,0.11395753277460224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562410877473896,0.0,0.07265807654727252,0.0,0.0,0.17091389175039065,0.06713661424444538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525634439011547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873773796407157,0.2991634024425322,0.0,0.06320516497067474,0.05944759729174689,0.0,0.12471278324283695,0.0,0.03344531370430018,0.0,0.06351035959042038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441638367863788,0.1223014881912342,0.0,0.0,0.037592193446754914,0.0,0.10580570848087874,0.07292599930817324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030991281208455,0.0,0.0,0.13300844517503202,0.0,0.06634964997169522,0.0,0.0,0.15264678915970678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783534221048624,0.0,0.07003887195044853,0.0,0.06763858176422334,0.09344149669052584,0.0,0.13259097616433474,0.11681594060246935,0.11707393720945725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706147878682463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665942820507276,0.0,0.0667884214529453,0.0,0.05279696190795274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101573361483352,0.06388404447347815,0.07034682924765794,0.06207337058484973,0.12961771767963096,0.06346869759372728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344710451746576,0.0,0.12628733818002436,0.045857182576481456,0.05775597806118924,0.06910830276241355,0.0,0.0,0.07456947268377072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409845581280099,0.0,0.0,0.07528842354130638,0.04237470561260661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299721275700479,0.1129763365578902,0.12583964281432372,0.05260181041672661,0.0,0.06694310050181855,0.21083861625842876,0.0,0.06900451541093777,0.0,0.0,0.05471650526800145,0.07435067230934231,0.06619358903294632,0.0,0.0560451380528656,0.050922283299728414,0.0,0.0,0.04681835136062017,0.0,0.0,0.055300866759648834,0.151539625079989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468330379834378,0.06875083304839512,0.09946684834964356,0.10633100800986026,0.05781436157483001,0.0,0.15128701810015485,0.0768003944113241,0.08788868638760641,0.0,0.06498793163465287,0.10502478395009608,0.07714031834435163,0.0,0.0,0.06320516497067474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457722828407504,0.03901451801007072,0.05250347253644099,0.2122327455952696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04815494425299114,0.0,0.06740824087569483,0.09397618444780276,0.0,0.0,0.04259573896189445
mentalhealth,swillbill666,2018/01/09,"Not giving af on a level never before known to me So the last month or 2, I've done more laying or slouching (not sitting upright) on the couch than anything else. Binge watching shows all day, sleeping 12+ hours... Hell, I even missed Christmas with my family. The only other time I've ever been this sedentary was in jail, and even then I think I was generally more active, as I worked out daily, played 21 in the yard and even learned yoga.

I can't stand my girlfriend I'm living with but I'm unemployed and have no motivation to get a job so I don't have the financial means to move out. I'm more out of shape than I've ever been as an adult with no motivation to exercise or do anything physical--in a way, that just makes me feel worse as it reminds me how weak I've become.

I've never in my life given less of a damn about anything and everything than I do now and I don't want to stop. The only time I'm active/functional is when I'm on a bender. Oh such fun. I don't even have the motivation to proofread/add all the relevant detail to this post so I'm done",2.7088470588235296,3.836758342222221,4.570875816993468,85.86517647058824,74.46666666666667,7.427450980392157,24.346405228758172,7.928766900206844,1.1950522875816991,837,25,180,12,17,286,124,225,0.109,0.8009999999999999,0.09,-0.4948,3,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,15,6,2,0,14,0,16,4,1,5,6,37,31,18,0,1,7,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,5,11,0,1,8,5,0,1,10,4,0,0,7,2,15,2,28,24,6,30,1,1,1,0,3,11,2,3,14,114,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653341694999421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634364781028859,0.12592331235160426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543730714557602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30287760792215845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236214741422394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909676109447312,0.2677196345690184,0.0,0.0,0.13299829535474256,0.0,0.13950595428476245,0.0,0.07482505455092757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773154265110441,0.1419595432181158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573423170391586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468510849783832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062654628920615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452533274175804,0.0,0.0,0.13067240458973262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987803341017926,0.0,0.0,0.1611977386713687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811925550508065,0.15728335746316474,0.0,0.0,0.22826845545148586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22509669316707187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417275717311236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809066986491062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237210811831099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482204226536058,0.0,0.0,0.1725810850280618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087284678032676,0.1174626505640225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773396723032268,0.0,0.15080813250250447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sielk4948,2018/01/09,"How to help my game addict friend I have a friend from my highschool who is my one of my two roommates. He wasn't like this before, but recently he has changed.

After returning from university (Whenever he have time), he plays videos games all day, literally from 10 am to 2 am, every single day.

I've seen him running back home just to play video games, and he doesn't even have proper meals.

Even worse, he is speaking with other people on discord, and shouting things from time to time, again from 10 am to 2 am.

My other roommate is suffering from the noise, and asked me if I can silence him, but when I ask him to be quite, that only last 10 min max, and he starts yelling again.

Now, it is not only annoying me, but also makes me worry how he is having no communication with his real friends and so on.

Any advice on how to help him would be nice.. Thanks",5.489709302325579,5.348890877906979,5.936604651162792,83.13513953488373,67.54651162790697,8.74046511627907,28.246511627906976,8.238735603445708,1.671944651162791,669,19,140,8,10,216,107,172,0.103,0.762,0.134,0.6164,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,13,10,1,0,2,0,20,2,0,4,1,20,26,15,0,2,6,0,0,1,3,1,1,3,1,0,7,7,1,0,0,7,0,1,4,2,0,2,2,4,16,8,20,21,2,20,0,1,1,0,25,3,0,1,17,93,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718974430336115,0.0,0.1588296543841252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998109043391273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053099746195348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039010336288129,0.0,0.0,0.1249812185122665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830734571546027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194300478034286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964633771194774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147088236509196,0.0,0.1369447595420935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767279482551888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789077002611013,0.0,0.16303825261927096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324896647691357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794075576799918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849496859134397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013954058696997,0.24723401552793156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112682959450455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728785192252444,0.0,0.1850031314689776,0.0,0.0,0.16048606196063012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504479977824895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964258925306365,0.0,0.0,0.10798261829377626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28433057404348017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587754104373826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506460723285524,0.16563948429570596,0.11546189698613572,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justmakingitthrough,2018/01/09,"Hate Hurts You the Most-How to begin combating it and take control of your emotions Here is the link to the video! I needed help before and now I am getting to a place where I truly believe I can help people work on themselves if they want!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wxt3i7JERX4

I was a Behavioral Health Technician in the Navy and I do it as a civilian now. I am not saying I know much about people’s behavior but I am passionate about helping people and believe that sometimes we need help and sometimes we can help. I hope this helps someone who may not realize that the hatred they feel for something is controllable. It takes practice and it is not easy but we can choose how we react to life. You are not obligated to react a certain way to anything, so why choose to react with hate? I have been able to gain a lot of different perspectives on how people work with their own emotions. I think learning to control our emotions is a good place to start in improving our lives and the lives of those around us.

So let's take the first step in trying to eliminate hate by addressing the hate that we create within ourselves! Hate hurts the person who has it the most and the world forces enough on us so why would you hurt yourself further? I just want this to help someone so if you know someone who could use this please share with them! Let's focus on LOVE this year!",4.884204545454544,6.568475375000002,4.665575757575759,85.12336363636366,69.87121212121212,7.4012121212121205,27.593939393939394,7.908726449838941,1.6487066666666663,1105,38,208,14,20,338,138,264,0.132,0.6609999999999999,0.206,0.9617,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,9,5,4,7,14,14,5,0,17,0,21,4,0,9,1,55,43,19,0,9,9,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,16,17,0,3,9,1,0,1,4,8,0,1,2,2,31,6,32,36,5,22,0,3,0,2,32,14,0,6,6,150,47,3,0.08038248570824734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614793670623184,0.07155745435695725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839957488789697,0.18112707026478128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704673783498781,0.0641788740556438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398258902514848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27125843170496083,0.0,0.08305659532947825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040643799997546234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837330128002334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199653111781,0.0,0.0,0.06742101529087466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39680531499738414,0.0,0.08544282345337544,0.0,0.0,0.3771508004611193,0.0,0.0,0.07983794552226488,0.0,0.0,0.25815334038237503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835222392328435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439307543342382,0.05677652684825636,0.0,0.0,0.14195841511157833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833831484426083,0.07254833169346732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909037592290769,0.11920518925977462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22290837796505256,0.07018688602343197,0.16796517805029695,0.08823583090023085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392337895193366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432345786871733,0.06188236463114545,0.1590006674805882,0.0,0.05689513711068087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131287658647627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051505851139328256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457443135096062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933804661452027,0.06942465900771279,0.0,0.0,0.09482334541823127,0.06380387565847234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506538131168015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703881389277665,0.0,0.0,0.05710141156095538,0.0,0.0,0.05176368535279527
mentalhealth,CoolHeinz,2018/01/09,"Advice for 16 year old daughter I am struggling with a balance of being a supportive and caring parent and also holding her accountable for misbehavior with my 16-year old who was recently in a psychiatric facility and diagnosed with major depressive disorder, panic disorder, and GAD. 

How do I find a balance of not coddling her, but being empathetic??  And I am writing this as someone who also has GAD and episodic depression so I relate to so much of what she’s experiencing. But as her mother I am struggling with providing discipline and structure and not letting her take advantage of me. (“I have anxiety, I can’t go to school”). 

Any advice for this Mom??",6.98481092436975,8.397706840336138,8.258308823529411,62.348639705882356,64.63025210084034,11.664285714285715,40.08508403361344,11.45678717892309,5.502772268907564,530,30,78,17,8,182,75,119,0.16899999999999998,0.754,0.077,-0.89,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,3,4,0,11,1,0,1,0,21,15,17,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,12,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,1,14,3,16,11,2,6,0,2,0,0,12,1,0,0,4,68,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31117279905312845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25465382954545435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082739869822696,0.0,0.12180165724368087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233379286533892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742691876082484,0.16160334709203333,0.0,0.0,0.3649562119385765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552275347835766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048749857130928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281162415873568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864746918533056,0.0,0.0,0.1170438602817552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33414590152131396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680851301925133,0.1767932157112449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572089837472265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113754361253496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490525251394414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328993299841429,0.0,0.0,0.1806791787788856,0.0,0.0,0.11971243857689773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506288753368884
mentalhealth,Tossthisaccount2018,2018/01/09,"My autistic brother is deeply depressed and a danger to himself I really need some help, and for awareness, I'm already working on setting up a family therapy session.  This is my throw away account for privacy reasons. 

I'm gonna bullet point this because there is a lot to unpack here. 

My brother is:
-34
-Lives in the US
-High functioning autistic (terrible in social situations, doesn't handle stress well, and is skilled in the IT industry)
-Lonely (Never had a Girlfriend)
-Extremely overweight (355 lbs)
- 6 foot 6 
-An introvert
-Lives with recently widowed mother 

Here is what he is dealing with:
- He has a demanding IT job (as a contractor for a major US agency)
- My father died on December 23
- Our older brother is saying things to him like, ""You need move out.  Mom needs a smaller place and you need to get out so my kids and I can live here."" 
- He agreed to work on Christmas (2 days after dad's death) 
- He was accused of sexual harassment on Xmas; The stress of working on Xmas after dad's death got to him. So, he offered a piece of home made spice loaf to the pretty girl at work.  She graciously accepted, but once my brother stepped away, the pretty girl threw it on the community table without a second thought.  My bro was insulted by this and he wrote a passive aggressive note and put it on the community table about ""Don't accept something on Xmas and immediately give it away, it's disrespectful"".  He and pretty girl get called into the office to explain the drama on Xmas. HE said he felt offended and that he was dealing with the stress of his father's recent death.  The pretty girl said, ""He sexually harasses me all the time, he stares at me and sent me a love letter.""   My bro and management asked her to produce the note. She couldn't and management said, ""Let's let this go and move his desk away from you.""    Pretty girl says, fine.  The next day pretty girl comes in says, ""I have a witness and I spoke to our government point of contact and they said you can't tell to provide proof of harassment in an uncomfortable environment.""    Pretty girl circumvent management structure and tried to get the gov't involved.  Gov't said, ""handle it or we want a whole new crew"".  The pretty girl is still making a stink about this.  My bro's supervisor told him, ""We don't know what to do, what to do about you.""  He is crushed and stressed. 
- My bro went to a doctor for the first time 22 years; he was diagnosed with high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes

All of this is becoming too much for him.  He keeps yelling out that he is lonely and wants a woman in his life.  

I am signing us all up for family therapy to help him out.  I don't think that is enough and I don't know enough about mental health to be able to help him.  

We've also taken the precaution of hiding the firearms and checking in with him a couple times a day. 

So, what should I do?  

",3.441576086956524,5.497305875000002,4.5000724637681175,83.28206521739133,74.48913043478261,7.643478260869566,26.89855072463768,8.472884824447931,1.9936876811594204,2241,85,426,42,48,730,264,552,0.119,0.769,0.112,-0.2035,2,4,1,1,1,0,87.0,7,5,1,7,15,23,7,5,40,0,36,9,2,4,5,68,75,29,4,8,3,14,1,1,1,2,6,10,1,10,21,35,1,1,9,1,2,10,9,17,1,2,21,14,48,6,76,48,11,62,0,3,1,1,97,34,0,3,18,269,69,14,0.061334068682888286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768366995980192,0.049048832566317084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733907472783169,0.0,0.2305015060866065,0.0,0.0,0.03738867898684512,0.06773866008720568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626289416852107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283386928071617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786498040498498,0.0,0.11866620077867915,0.12646546328427913,0.05282694348288045,0.062252788641128515,0.06365507989221843,0.0,0.0,0.06277801824395639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674897715889882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156406027238042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889032440195807,0.0,0.0,0.05217072748914126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613355824943837,0.05883722750152145,0.034857564676652866,0.0,0.04905445769951052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519524689955612,0.0,0.0,0.12333280011437968,0.1296056220750291,0.061523071763222525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060864599165713434,0.054516538375578114,0.0,0.0,0.0674152002472928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254364814770879,0.04332206657462838,0.02996472785498265,0.0,0.16247731901765838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052144031867139534,0.05535639162822683,0.0580357787834881,0.04094096711267658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181031530544018,0.0,0.0,0.07183371995539364,0.0,0.13037681688007022,0.04508759767031508,0.1819137390687972,0.04730461489363988,0.05923682573070665,0.06522947786409011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653187814198202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408104748254555,0.0,0.11596103965664675,0.0,0.0,0.4991903827697101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061657679609745115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039292174946845705,0.06306163778072321,0.12111998685434602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917137233891469,0.14632593955767387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894206299630666,0.0,0.06252235904080393,0.0,0.047217962583568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048981466478600966,0.0,0.28103187380024675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360867943735263,0.0,0.14028170571194293,0.0,0.04074762988280098,0.03930039465084687,0.0,0.04869239945225903,0.10729316605352064,0.0,0.0,0.05860733104026938,0.0,0.04164180656167437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213319982824669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235284564018303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514669367144704,0.05685729614877695,0.0,0.06847729731857666,0.0,0.05912385349895929,0.0,0.17860772994550034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03949712931534807
mentalhealth,GreenArrow76,2018/01/09,"Looking for book recommendations about nostalgia I'm completely fascinated by the concept of nostalgia as it relates to all areas of life. I've only just started reading about it. I'm no professional, but I just enjoy learning about it's impact on people and culture. Does anyone have any recommended books I should check out?",6.133448275862068,8.817535103448275,7.2443448275862075,63.7851379310345,68.65517241379311,9.467586206896552,35.737931034482756,9.888512548439397,4.388140689655172,268,14,38,7,5,90,46,58,0.027000000000000003,0.823,0.149,0.7962,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,11,5,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,25,5,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650818137081238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725617956789034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40870473999660695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411223293348405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753318866028416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32733931766258484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29646543843524753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702427730773657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899120264095229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759070747859984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_dark_half,2018/01/09,"Discovered a helpful new app for self-harm and anxiety! Hi there, this is my first time posting here so hopefully this is relevant to some of you. I have a history of self-harm and also a fair bit of anxiety, so I got recommended an app called ""Calm Harm"" and basically you put in 5 or 15 minutes and you get given breathing exercises, activities to distract you or little activities to raise your self-esteem and try and think of positive things in life.

I haven't had a really bad urge to self harm lately or an especially bad anxiety attack so I haven't put it fully to the test, but I've played around with it tonight and seems like it could be really useful and I just wanted to share it here, because I got excited I might have this extra coping resource and can't really tell anyone in my life about it, so hopefully someone here benefits from it!",6.006250000000001,6.202446172619048,7.397714285714287,71.94728571428574,66.44047619047619,11.481904761904767,32.27619047619048,11.20814326018867,3.7533647619047614,679,26,128,20,10,234,98,168,0.069,0.706,0.226,0.9822,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,5,0,1,12,14,1,1,7,0,11,4,1,1,0,25,21,18,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,11,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,6,0,1,4,0,14,8,18,14,3,13,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,8,6,86,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031053974093287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958936442693381,0.0,0.0,0.09015096130942304,0.0,0.0,0.1147751716582292,0.0,0.1466766629040703,0.0,0.0,0.2153025860067612,0.07859462506750423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075833532795734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165210228089602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294023666385793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966792295471747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736068396245516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20623444396841464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641916435833083,0.0,0.0,0.2561134681076697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543882928388874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18213436108723466,0.06298876063101272,0.12922188527012546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367745185140996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452154595063505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347944775009025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592208306244373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477878739005993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173731697377788,0.5380090761230147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924210091702777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126906372441023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565546523200145,0.0826132365809187,0.0,0.0,0.07518020950716915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753511122978827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113542568909111,0.0,0.0,0.07604634517386873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fed_Express,2018/01/09,"I would like to go to therapy but I feel too embarrassed about my issues and I'm afraid I won't be able to open up I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. The problem I'm experiencing is causing me a lot of emotional anguish however I think it's a relatively unusual problem and not something most people can relate with.

I've been around other sub-reddits and although people have given their support it's generally been quite fruitless. 

At this point I'm just desperate to see a therapist, I think I've suffered enough for 20 lifetimes and it's time to actually start looking at this issue closely and begin moving past it.

I've got a private therapist very close to where I live but as I said I'm just not sure if I'll chicken out in the last minute and get cold feet.

I'm also really afraid I'm going to get laughed out of his office if I bring up this issue. 

Has anyone dealt with a similar issue when deciding to go to a therapist? How did you resolve it?",4.0532467532467535,5.092038191919193,5.837835497835499,78.39818181818184,71.12121212121212,8.889466089466088,30.809523809523807,9.23628265651192,2.7377160173160173,774,33,150,16,14,267,122,198,0.14,0.785,0.075,-0.9294,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,2,9,12,0,4,10,0,10,1,1,2,1,37,35,16,0,5,8,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,15,0,0,5,1,0,6,3,7,0,0,7,7,13,5,25,25,3,26,0,1,2,0,4,14,0,4,7,91,22,0,0.12302647247008325,0.0,0.12005609034879244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838422558608532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602297005904605,0.0,0.0,0.1095196436252057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638207642830362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383882226183521,0.0,0.1271192331106589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06220588101276716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855250827044626,0.0,0.20975633835275687,0.0,0.09839550871646983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020755447132226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5136306959110221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002829951876646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010452014172429,0.0,0.10863462914054517,0.0,0.10331125186601717,0.0,0.0,0.10459270742577602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075767038676842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744268870821856,0.1705821310664865,0.0,0.1285364788813524,0.0,0.11629978215435804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354394381316811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085379709976047,0.0,0.0,0.07881390853720502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702634809776764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803617026757026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471178903710054,0.0,0.0,0.08707877042810364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960898302939204,0.11595099434455675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406914931329316,0.4285296504069116,0.0,0.15766079193519222,0.0,0.0,0.07173772544998955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015097241623209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739447624081123,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StevenEdward2000,2018/01/09,"Should I be concerned Serious question.
I’m 17 M currently starting my last year of highschool. I have reacurring dreams of committing mass murder and fantasise about torture. Over my time at school I’ve been called cold hearted and heartless, my friends say I don’t have emotions, when isis became relevant videos of their executions would be passed around while others looked away I laughed this also true with other violent scenes in movies I.e. church scene kings man which I find funny while others don’t. People at my school are scared of me. 
I’m just writing down what I can think of but should I be concerned?",5.771848574237957,7.963794955752213,4.657109144542776,84.03624385447398,68.46902654867257,7.500098328416913,30.254670599803337,8.167268648758528,2.2009260570304825,502,20,87,7,9,147,84,113,0.116,0.787,0.097,-0.4678,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,5,9,4,1,0,0,13,1,1,0,2,15,18,7,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,3,13,3,14,11,0,17,1,0,1,0,7,8,0,1,8,54,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860922337174878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715470388415846,0.0,0.0,0.21863180986471809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376154343287413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617591724062359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126860161486253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978549844078756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757537733918829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968372691030236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954116273555972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132672495691916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26068023653016553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850544958182292,0.23297595870420465,0.4710150321340967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470814098301945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910646887806348,0.0,0.0,0.13569079282043486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165305293621406,0.0,0.0,0.1498528840576131
mentalhealth,canvas23,2018/01/09,"People with depression, how do you respond to people who tell you your not depressed? My therapist recently told me to be more open with my anxiety and depression as he thinks desperately hiding it makes it worse. I've not been shouting it from the rooftops but I have tried being more open with friends, family and colleagues and I can't believe the negative responses that I've received, mostly about the depression part of it. From people saying 'everyone thinks they're depressed nowadays' to 'what have you even got to be depressed about?!' I can't believe how many self styled experts there are out there.",6.5971818181818165,8.453270127272729,5.97068181818182,76.74602272727273,65.9090909090909,9.5,34.65909090909091,9.827888789773867,3.6630000000000003,494,23,81,11,8,151,71,110,0.133,0.722,0.146,0.6809999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,7,7,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,3,0,18,15,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,7,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,3,2,10,1,14,9,4,5,0,6,0,0,13,3,0,1,1,60,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641642817286964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134517703991835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7188756203395263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187882177037582,0.0,0.0,0.13292264224874528,0.0,0.0,0.13113764261610755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747367659788803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112565273961719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928549624806621,0.14103260323090253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506392599003687,0.0,0.28931771052146504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735132103824066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062342185014364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511887627809786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158559674697887,0.0,0.0,0.16151387874132447,0.0,0.17826822022724928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292264224874528,0.0,0.09444448088560244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176185586564696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aPsychopedia,2018/01/09,"Words from a psycho: Psychiatric therapy should help patients to explore & connect with the reality but patients’ input is often dismissed by medical staff Here’s the story: In one of my first few psychotic episodes, I proclaimed loudly at an ice skating rink that I was a violent, perverted child rapist. Many skaters heard that and many of them believed that. I was later diagnosed with delusional guilt and some sort of messiah complex. 

After consulting a doctor and agreeing to hospitalization, medication was issued and a case manager / nurse was assigned to me to help clear my leftover deviant thoughts. The counseling, however, mostly focused on possible manifestations of symptoms. Scenarios that I actually encountered in daily life were dismissed. An unpleasant experience I raised was considered by the nurse as some type of delusion. 

The case manager was informed of the harassments that I faced after the incident but merely told me that no one was going to care about what I had done in the public space. People forget easily and no one cares. He advised me to keep on going to the rink and enjoy skating. When I told him that I was laughed at quite directly, he just wanted to put that topic aside, betting that the bizarre thought would fade as time goes by.

A rehabilitated patient also shared with me how her case manager absurdly jumped to conclusion that her bullies were just her hallucinations. Medical staff are supposed to help psychotic patients to build a connection with the reality but if they doubt everything their patients say, chances are they are not going to go very far. If patients really are buying that every problem they face is just their own hallucination or delusion, they are simply going to live in their own worlds. This is just going against the initiative. 

**TL;DR** Nurse wouldn’t listen because I was psychotic.",8.097477272727271,9.947366475000004,7.856477272727273,64.64261363636366,62.375,11.19318181818182,39.23295454545455,11.115808304768276,5.1416562500000005,1512,79,217,43,22,482,184,320,0.126,0.754,0.119,-0.6705,1,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,8,3,10,11,3,2,20,0,24,10,2,1,1,44,40,17,0,7,11,0,0,0,0,3,7,4,0,1,13,10,0,1,6,0,2,9,4,6,0,4,18,4,28,5,41,19,6,27,0,0,0,1,28,11,0,10,7,160,41,10,0.0,0.0,0.11888194838653725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742203326956894,0.0,0.131995473344671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426234096880482,0.0,0.0,0.1372531196474336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248413906793096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364806517911482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469128951624205,0.0,0.12466751192121504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264136787640077,0.0,0.10948690915374612,0.11916654422140754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362282001865736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154098657944895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24496673065004584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715185398682588,0.0,0.1082821290024864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860473856423293,0.0,0.0,0.10757218844089074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470193706775187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681724154322087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24765182269680305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445692360210842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733744429237374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656842668626588,0.0,0.12246604455148692,0.0,0.12957405415919918,0.0,0.0,0.0780431128453411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968787621500436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662103356797938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931553806609753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342815358548335,0.07103613443963043,0.0,0.0,0.2328147299622663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051696464158637,0.07185452707335623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653976306861368,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FunctioningUrals,2018/01/09,"I feel terrible sometimes, and others not I’ve suffered from mental health issues a lot in the past, but the last month at work I’ve just been doing terrible, it feels like I don’t belong - and no one, excluding my boss, takes the time to talk to me and inform me of things. The other guys in the office all laugh and chat and have fun, and when I try to participate it feels like I’m just over talked and undervalued. I know age would play a role, im 19, and the other guys are in their late 35-early 50’s. I’m the young guy of the group, and I’m only there because I know what I’m doing. 

It feels like a lot of people at work undervalue me, and it’s hard, no one except my boss took the time to get to know me, and even at that I still feel left out. I play an important role just like the rest, and I shouldn’t need to feel left out, I would tell my boss how I feel but unfortunately I don’t feel like I’m able to, we’ve never had any drama etc in the office and he makes it clear he doesn’t want their to be any, and I feel like my voicing how I feel will get me in trouble. My last employer fired me for explaining how I feel, they fired me on the spot without notice. 

On top of all this, I’m doing a job that I should be earning $55/hr-$75/hr and I’m only making $22/hr - I guess it’s because I’m the youngest. My contract says I’m entitled to earn more upon review but I’m too scared to ask for that review because I fear negative results, I’ve slacked off before and my boss has told me off the other day about it, and we talked and came to an agreement I wouldn’t slack off any more (we’ll, as much) 

What should I do? :/

Disclaimer: I’ve got PTSD, depression, anxiety",1.6414115195149677,2.809128631868134,3.439238347859039,92.76093406593408,77.24175824175825,6.559151193633952,20.793482379689273,7.0983637204850245,0.24296146267525565,1298,30,311,14,29,436,167,364,0.14300000000000002,0.725,0.132,-0.741,2,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,2,0,3,5,12,18,0,2,20,0,22,1,0,10,4,72,60,26,0,8,9,0,14,6,0,8,1,2,0,3,18,22,0,0,16,4,0,2,11,7,0,2,6,16,39,11,39,44,9,35,0,2,0,0,23,20,0,3,19,185,57,12,0.08666637110863687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768083128111153,0.0,0.06629953668181793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102135788644554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584930462589534,0.0,0.0737466985335994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991232403635779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589263963507598,0.0,0.07464561844239134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966559130067083,0.057242320747241976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752376218262276,0.4820323339217493,0.30957236418384976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905592037634164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069315014099249,0.0,0.0954727786292376,0.2574399991950183,0.0,0.0,0.07763604550321107,0.0,0.0,0.09212229978626073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361455282127792,0.09045717480730986,0.08600300048488077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288871311968732,0.14128931932000646,0.09776344153195833,0.0,0.1883265315838269,0.0,0.0,0.25404486741709603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736129899560718,0.0,0.0,0.11570095138083175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733931792947662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917627057350363,0.0,0.06370975472531504,0.06426201603145337,0.06684244821128481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867023792802317,0.0,0.0,0.11745475201305187,0.1318273611287409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273285772749182,0.060083549412933326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013083499997216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892057683901531,0.08676815655042673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571525707981299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921187591887286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516232531073114,0.20897743869999588,0.07575022832388373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057577285985683485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010717158918812,0.0,0.0,0.08281343160004317,0.09628952717104264,0.05884077705275417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05111807112812212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354328905206078,0.0,0.12618830071717166,0.0,0.0,0.12313060691182424,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoVeryTired81,2018/01/09,"Sense of taste is screwy So. I am completely off Effexor. It took 50 miserable days with a cross titration of amitriptyline and a lot of time dealing with symptoms but it's done. 

Anyway as I came off I realized food was tasting worse and worse. Like just not right. 

So I did some googling today and apparently Effexor has a side effect of either lack of taste or screwing it up. I've been on that shit for a decade and a half. I'm really frustrated. I can stand to lose weight but then pounds in under a week seems like a bit much. I can't eat anything hardly. I have an appointment on Wednesday but I'm so freaking frustrated right now. ",1.2674901574803172,3.8521745433070897,2.650506889763779,90.19733513779528,87.03149606299213,6.324606299212599,22.89812992125984,7.6454224807358475,1.2898665354330707,505,19,102,10,16,163,89,127,0.287,0.667,0.046,-0.9885,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,4,1,8,0,10,9,1,1,0,20,15,13,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,6,0,3,0,0,3,2,7,0,1,6,5,7,2,17,9,6,21,0,2,0,1,1,10,2,4,9,68,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380260323510905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040461653314418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21376357042108826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959608751199156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053490346793795,0.1926854779495576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126337658401552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912451459465382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259999693555288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742550202423026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261959458091792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20909305919934698,0.0,0.15889551884930675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373928514723907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973279206342415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192228009048156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701465504120192,0.0,0.0,0.19184994980943407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942604456730837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089827712370324,0.0,0.17715914840612268,0.0,0.20765254492026886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991973885151955,0.2275935945429405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38093370898745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reddit_Unfairness,2018/01/09,"DRUGS WILL NEVER HELP YOU. Something seriously wrong with me. Confused. Moved far from childhood friends this summer, got pretty lonely and sad and as a “escape” I went all they way to them to hang out. Turns out they’re druggies now. 

Tried acid the first time at girls birthday party, super fun. Tried it again stupidly a couple days after. Same day I tried ecstasy. Should of researched first, drugs like those give you a come down. Drugs use up all the serotonin in your brain (happy receptors) come down is the period of recovery which you will be depressed as hell. 

I fucked up badly because I took the drugs before my family vacation to California. It ended up being the worst experience of my life. Anything fun we did, I was super out of it and boring. I felt so bad because the family had to deal with a sheep. I was worthless. Thinking back about it triggers me and makes me confused.

Now its lead to a more stable actual depression and anxiety after the week of recovering (3-7 days for a semi full recovery)

I don’t know whats wrong with me, I cant sleep, when I try I end up thinking about the trip or something in the past and I get mad and sad. Like just looking at old videos I watched 5 years ago made me so mad I almost cried, that doesn’t seem normal at all. I think i’m loosing my sanity due to drugs. 

Please learn from my experience, drugs will never help. They ended up potentially ruining my brain just from 3 uses. 
",2.763399470899472,5.075535535714288,3.963015873015873,85.12050264550267,77.57142857142857,6.862433862433862,23.22751322751323,7.921354282810032,1.3052830687830692,1130,36,217,19,27,368,168,280,0.229,0.652,0.119,-0.9868,0,2,9,0,0,0,34.0,1,4,3,5,11,29,5,2,15,0,14,11,3,6,5,43,35,13,0,2,3,0,1,2,1,4,7,0,0,1,10,16,0,0,7,1,0,8,5,21,0,2,9,4,33,8,39,20,7,53,1,7,2,1,14,17,2,5,29,139,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.08203542968465304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451865586700325,0.0,0.08417907357916228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430958600125207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917843019199303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464088754380581,0.14038172606191968,0.10249063265611856,0.0,0.07153322465005316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768894979884007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482931290930284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301645531992772,0.09234158591750664,0.16264514182199336,0.08666744648637695,0.14481032776671246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5849330953559698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337023097165926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446363458735916,0.15849822533269511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807156974896646,0.0,0.0,0.1430114946926406,0.0,0.0,0.06494850247007923,0.07771684798387164,0.043920555060420745,0.08064292231994354,0.0,0.0,0.06723455522451817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948888244714769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269415460778755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619999095458135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937767970842675,0.08213994178040182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059352768748044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954444828477404,0.0561141197634706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934791765731252,0.0,0.0,0.12967240457222426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236596798538608,0.0,0.0,0.0882122012012513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024966833010454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227825647037992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552444806207014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652972714703313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841258299054627,0.0,0.0,0.1294348714386384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159660172070894,0.0,0.0,0.049019046970396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933994404567877,0.22829879070888476,0.09143870965440476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521054369683806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672697861794984,0.06743196779763086,0.0,0.0,0.07792920760124665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838240219050067,0.0,0.054135180505505885
mentalhealth,anonnmoose,2018/01/09,"Something is killing my motivation and thought process. I have been having issues with confusion and motivation for the last 2 years. I decided i was gonna do whatever i can to get rid of it this year and get back to how i used to be. i have only been drinking water, exercising, and getting stressful things out of my life. It was working but today i was slammed with this mood again. I couldn't process what to do at all today. Everytime i tried to be productive i just lose my train of thought. Whenever i try and muster up motivation something just pushes it down. my mind feels like when your muscles are to weak to open a jar and no matter how much you try you cant put your 100% in it. does anyone have any ideas of how to overcome this? I need to get better before next semester starts og college.",3.4166586538461523,5.130888156250002,4.4025,85.42019230769233,73.6875,7.673076923076922,28.55769230769231,8.384062270229773,1.984346153846153,635,26,129,11,13,206,103,160,0.103,0.807,0.091,-0.4404,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,0,6,9,8,1,2,2,0,18,5,0,7,1,31,29,11,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,9,10,2,0,8,2,0,2,3,5,0,0,7,1,20,2,21,18,2,18,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,11,88,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916952991119183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122500359031771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344176010361807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366037424951203,0.0,0.0,0.14198045429627648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404855497808676,0.0,0.0,0.15726350771087566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811714867817168,0.11468647237492058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354923378929213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122484800595254,0.0,0.16755717693021904,0.0,0.0,0.17760855820330895,0.0,0.0,0.13085772093856854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133908517130107,0.07842945365895684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795979717786347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209492059398575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180119395441015,0.11903491362638352,0.0,0.0,0.17073114550209112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209435304576492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138234757460676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471758813389329,0.0,0.0,0.1136277333862093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838926789989281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665254044928868,0.0,0.0,0.2548942413137478,0.0,0.0,0.30433744532318885,0.0,0.0,0.3269788553204908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865098222385633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116871632763409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675897931005652
mentalhealth,QTforever,2018/01/09,"To people who were suicidal/ had depression: how did your friends help you improve? I have a long distance friend who is suicidal from depression, and I feel like there is nothing I can do to help. I don't expect myself to be their saving grace, I just wish there was a way to be there for them but I don't know how. If you guys have any personal stories related to this please share. Thanks in advance, everyone.",4.276296296296299,5.672131135802469,4.825617283950617,84.5102777777778,70.97530864197532,8.85679012345679,29.549382716049386,9.2995712137729,2.511953086419753,326,13,65,7,6,104,58,81,0.083,0.634,0.28300000000000003,0.9317,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,2,1,6,9,0,0,2,0,14,0,0,2,0,11,18,5,2,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,1,12,7,8,12,0,4,0,2,0,0,14,1,0,1,2,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431966893821537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627319983281431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012112844632513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647190831383696,0.15043321313525992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253759652743173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085001265673148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822849483956493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572527526278853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287520815698137,0.0,0.0,0.1863502555053409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202050230736186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459846297744923,0.1838640012491876,0.0,0.2311456433249789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606648176060644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386709487524656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714284588513992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421482679403493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cienanosconsoledad_,2018/01/09,"Three months post hospitalization It began in the first semester of nursing school. I owned little of my time and felt smothered by scholastic obligations. I noticed my mood becoming less and less stable. My relationship with my mattress intensifying and I was crying frequently.

I voiced my health concerns with faculty and urged them to withdrawal me from an experimental course they drafted me into or to remove me from a scholarship they awarded me ( it required too many meetings, socializing, and general up keep) I didn’t want special treatment. I was doing fairly well in my classes all A’s and one B. I just felt it necessary to communicate my deteriorating health and shave off the extra stress from my program. 
I wasn’t taken serious and I ended up feeling really low. I was ready to kill myself. 

This is when I got hospitalized. They kept me in a behavioral health clinic for five days. I sat with a psychiatrist twice for 15 minutes each time, he handed me a prescription and a new diagnosis. He called it dysthemia. This along with my GAD were affecting my life. But he deemed me “stable” and released me. 

Things got worse after this. The nursing program wouldn’t  accept my medical clearance from the clinic and wanted a more thorough excuse. Without it I couldn’t return to clinicals and I would fail. I tried to fight them and just took a medical withdrawal 3/4 of the semester in. This pulled me into a deeper depression. 

This time I spent days crying and not sleeping well. I didn’t want to eat and nothing mattered. Nursing was all I was or wanted to be. How did I screw up my chance? 

I felt ( feel ) defeated. I wonder if I’m fit to be a nurse. I mean... I cracked. And the nursing faculty seemed less than sympathetic to my situation.  The field is also full of bullies. How can I make it? 

I start my new semester tomorrow. I’m supposed to retake a course and apply to another nursing program, a program I originally favored over the one I attended. But I wonder is it worth it anymore. I’m worried I’ll fuck it up again. What should I do?",3.1555411255411268,5.941769051948054,4.7501948051948055,77.33291125541126,79.25974025974024,7.7186147186147185,28.64718614718615,8.634040054169528,2.7662380952380947,1635,75,280,39,42,547,199,385,0.112,0.787,0.1,-0.9115,0,0,0,0,1,1,47.0,0,0,5,5,10,18,5,1,21,0,22,14,2,6,2,65,50,26,1,9,9,0,6,0,0,3,9,1,1,0,16,25,1,3,10,0,3,4,7,11,2,6,21,7,58,6,43,23,10,40,0,4,0,2,14,16,2,6,19,209,74,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852541642541034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117875016326839,0.0,0.0,0.10572622315942384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773986354556645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885841317981304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342071739761099,0.13750633458220635,0.0,0.09182108280849334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090863238329246,0.0,0.0,0.09442280713588562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780814436138066,0.0,0.3070804212977184,0.0,0.0,0.09068048183617117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855712979033156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052788314403122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399570997075167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475784996416793,0.11794565950288753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530019342635487,0.0,0.10684895368093908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116148850692322,0.10808350685626998,0.0,0.116127072580902,0.0,0.21479214729064813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509327407628789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059248225290254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102292993468523,0.12137360874724247,0.0,0.0,0.14448031560170946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210073754625483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829564255765276,0.0,0.0,0.1144568066533831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789271565377112,0.0,0.09705167472584696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983155674005068,0.10668472219090376,0.10867315669566316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545750096520429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211879608556657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082543965336566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649147642203445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844511215064067,0.07237965167971286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515200082741996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917063071370585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276604872747327,0.2312230741620797,0.0,0.10826532606082316,0.10864238601145584,0.07573107363452407,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HavocWhk,2018/01/09,"I think i need help, but am too afraid to ask for it be nothing Im a mid 20 Y/o male living in New Zealand and ive recently become aware of a cycle in my life where for a week or two Im on top of the world, everything is amazing and everything is achievable. I do my washing, clean my room and car start looking into activities and groups to start/join. 
And then I come down from that high... its not that I feel shit, bad or upset, I just dont really feel much, this goes on for a week or so then I come back up to a mellow point. Then before I know it im back on top of the world completely blind to the drop ahead.

Im concerned that I may have mild depression or Bipolar... or it might just be life with its usual ups and downs... 

Any advice is welcomed 
Thanks in Advance",1.3154234388366142,2.6679949520958104,3.264538066723695,92.90354790419164,78.52095808383234,6.448075278015399,21.50940975192472,7.1686216300943375,0.41227151411462737,595,16,141,7,14,201,102,167,0.11,0.7290000000000001,0.16,0.7874,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,5,7,8,1,2,8,0,12,6,1,0,0,26,23,16,0,1,9,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,2,1,9,10,0,0,4,0,0,4,2,5,0,1,0,4,13,3,24,19,1,37,0,1,2,0,5,20,1,7,12,90,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925617596441805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995054552541322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236579076835807,0.0,0.0,0.2034203805946647,0.11044288386626616,0.0,0.1460857367411846,0.11255504322721692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278838910844849,0.1386862938926327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139270093111737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502360801918338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23775786394501566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376295607508648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886601680924276,0.13975426117268513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5715125015227575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269408033021017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868574313267408,0.0,0.0,0.11679996239405115,0.0,0.11107646271081656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032132678278936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097236274161292,0.09807915657394398,0.0,0.12775061269205598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692003255572887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250412533234814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473781911073902,0.0,0.13060416674112602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357768917202286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724778998719335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177970746877327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475554579020476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292120320345433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568062084932368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21220371617492856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ikfjaf49i,2018/01/09,"Speech therapy? Do I need it? Could this be something else? Throwaway for obvious reasons.

No clue why, but I picked up a number of issues growing up. A slight unplaceable ""accent""(?), way more slang than I grew up with in the manner of a 'lower class' vernacular, too many curses, words I tend to mispronounce despite being corrected (...although often of French etymology), slipping into a mumble if I'm not 100% laser-focused on speaking, often speaking too quickly and, if stressed, too loudly without realizing it. I have a very hard time speaking concisely. I do better typing simply because I can revise. Clearer, more logical, easier to understand sentences are harder for me to speak on the fly than I've noticed it is for others. I feel like I either sound like a crazy eccentric, or just ""slow"" and am incapable of anything inbetween.",6.300646735814523,8.178264006711409,7.11554606467358,68.17361195851129,66.6510067114094,9.445027455765713,35.69310555216595,9.800150414767053,4.0815449664429515,663,33,97,15,11,220,110,149,0.104,0.765,0.131,0.6355,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,8,0,10,0,0,2,2,25,15,7,0,4,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,9,10,3,21,12,3,13,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,5,73,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918398493341819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421092345717213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061777940737063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612924517889332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19474382869561094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787367612878727,0.16654266956361122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883185594674133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24331918989779056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22778363157038825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363494958105105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285728539808987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654113663267839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396886255064212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794689917541061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670408901720038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665957498813177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359355301819842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426886113758983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19235037194274573,0.0,0.18504168841452406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035668140361324,0.0,0.0,0.22472164819259535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drArtem3s,2018/01/09,"How to Recognize and Feel Difficult Emotions (not Depressed) I've always had trouble feeling like traumatic events in my life actually made an impact or accepting that these things aren't a normal part of growing up.

Lately, amongst other things, I've been struggling with serious suicidal thoughts (again). I've made some difficult albeit rational and hopefully positive decisions in this regard, but I can't really recognize any emotions surrounding these decisions.

I don't think I'm depressed, at least not in my usual way. I am not flat in general, I still enjoy things, I'm not oversleeping despite heavy sedatives, anxiety isn't higher than normal given the situation. I can obsess over the thoughts relating to my situation and suicidal tendencies and feel sad, angry, frustrated, claustrophobic, hopeless, overwhelmed. However, when push comes to shove and I need to make the decision I'm just detached. Not like derealization, just stoic, methodical, and (hopefully) logical. Is this normal for these kind of situations? Is it problematic or just strange? Do you have a favorite flavor of sherbert?",9.217306306306305,10.9164846,9.174932432432437,56.74167792792795,59.75675675675675,13.518018018018019,43.524774774774784,12.745084868956482,6.8010990990990985,901,52,119,34,12,294,120,185,0.221,0.638,0.141,-0.9657,1,0,1,0,0,1,33.0,0,1,0,0,8,19,1,3,6,0,12,1,0,4,0,42,29,11,2,6,11,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,11,0,0,3,9,12,0,0,7,4,10,7,17,22,3,18,0,5,0,0,1,8,0,5,8,80,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.12249480494634354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444729228753526,0.0,0.0,0.08536166132893676,0.0,0.0960266829062175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812912483992827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21622990118034324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823986402898338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040843090184004,0.08967546001015435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24935033853853586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130715517708288,0.0,0.0,0.14159825950012178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866239040874915,0.1226508617724307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375505733233393,0.0837892625367452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307558612334836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689650881833856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593191100326624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804148654622668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232878476214904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024484626645566,0.0,0.0,0.13122653305170046,0.0,0.27460910106449743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501807430638093,0.08043168780392357,0.0,0.19930649073436946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382486314729005,0.0,0.0,0.09963631886716036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cjray1996,2018/01/09,"Empathetic but just not sympathetic So I wanted to relate with others and see if anyone else feels this way or sees this as normal. Like to start off by defining:

Empathy: The ability to sense/identify other’s feelings. 

Sympathy: Emotional response (pity/sadness) towards others. 

The best way I can explain this is my friends and family can be upset or have something emotionally drastic happen to them. One example given, my fathers aunt died a few months ago and he was very sad. I understood his sadness and why he was sad but I did not feel sad because he was sad. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care, but it can be conveyed that way when I am not showing sympathy.

More frequently, I also experience this feeling a lot when my wife (MDD) has (for a lack of a better term) depressive episodes. 

Anyone else get this feeling?

tldr; I recognize sadness and sorrow in others but do not feel sadness and sorrow in response. ",5.202884615384612,6.9523148430232595,6.240930232558139,73.88367620751343,69.17441860465118,9.013237924865832,33.57960644007156,9.466822959209583,3.4760218246869403,731,35,121,16,13,243,110,172,0.268,0.5760000000000001,0.157,-0.9831,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,5,16,0,1,6,0,16,0,0,0,0,32,33,18,1,4,12,3,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,9,1,0,0,6,11,0,1,6,8,13,5,13,25,6,14,0,10,2,0,10,4,0,4,8,89,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715549574919754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471305741730672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006004081407589,0.2939530738705553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744284940067143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505368649664967,0.12686560343023154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625191959586775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354912204564834,0.0,0.14887344820504028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396600802989491,0.3227130372278557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031690954003462,0.13522734799133027,0.0,0.4351811537552588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082538907425173,0.0,0.07494418528234137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268480976083404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008006851692321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195196110850448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156253851776344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449657292804916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405458186301218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720216533875514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286144707016365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043110650296536,0.0,0.0,0.10153123564719403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835729505293978,0.0846076828128985,0.3415803175981009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294369621216824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saspurilla,2018/01/09,Just got kicked out of our apartment. my family and i just got kicked out of our apartment due to dozens of noise complaints due to my father screaming at our tv because of football.,6.967428571428571,7.035872742857144,6.069285714285716,82.71821428571431,64.42857142857143,8.142857142857144,34.64285714285714,7.1686216300943375,2.3047142857142857,146,6,27,1,2,44,22,35,0.142,0.858,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,6,0,9,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119358135807665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4823979673942458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8185280992486486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jack5603,2018/01/09,"I think I might have a mental health disorder I've been thinking the past month or so I might have a mental health disorder. I just want to know if anybody can relate. I've researched this before and thought I might have ADD-innatentive. I've always felt a little bit different in how I process life ever since I was a pre-teen. I feel like I don't experience life, instead I am experiencing myself analyzing life. Im always in my head. I don't feel like I hardly ever ""Let go"". People see something and they're eyes light up and they smile, wether that be a friend or something interesting on tv. I don't. For me its more like ""Oh hey there's my friend..."" and then I smile because its the ""correct"" thing to do. Or if someone goes ""Hey watch this video its funny"". My initial reaction is never excitement. First its a mental strain with just the thought of giving my attention to something, and then when I'm focusing on something wether its a person talking to me or a tv show I get a uncomfortable crippling ""frozen"" feeling. I am self-consious about looking like I am interested, but my natural instinct is to feel uncomfortable because I'm having to pause my brain. I don't get this if I'm by myself, unless I'm ""having"" to do something due to work.

 Eye contact is hard, I get social anxiety. If someone is talking for awhile, I cringe mentally every time they start a new sentence. You know when you can tell someone is going to keep talking for awhile. It makes me uncomfortable. Its like I'm using all my effort to listen, which makes the other parts hard like appearing interested.

And whenever stuff like this happens I feel it physically drowning my spirit/soul. Everyday I go through phases, that are hard to even pinpoint. If I feel ""content"" that is good enough for me. But then 5 minutes later, it feels like someone drains all the seratonin out of my body. I have a headache, I feel tired, I feel like I'm moving in slow motion, and I have no will. It feels like depression. And then it goes away. When its happening I feel like I can't ""Positive think"" my way out of it. Its either happening or not. Sometimes it lasts hours, I have bad days and okay days.

I might as well be walking through a snow storm whenever I'm asked to make the choice to go out and be active, or hang out with friends. It feels like a challenge. And this is not only related to social anxiety. It could be something like going out to eat with family, going on a walk, or especially watching a movie. I've been turning down movies since I was like 11 years old. Why? Because the thought of dedicating my attention to something for an hour and a half gives me anxiety. My father has never understood that.

I guess writing this out I'm realizing how much this has to do with being ""expected"" to do something. For example, I enjoy my job because I work for myself. There are definitly parts I don't like, but overall I like it. I also have a delivery job. I like that because they give me a list of what to do, and I go out and do it. The few times they've asked me to help out in the office, are always the worst days.

I've always been introspective, with a will to better my life since I was a teenager. But maybe to introspective. I felt I knew everybody better then they knew themselves. I felt disconnected growing up, because I didn't seem to have the impulsive emotion my friends had. I thought it was because I was more intelligent, but it could because how my brain works.

Its not all bad. I guess my lack of emotion can be a good thing. I rationalize everything. I don't allow something to affect me to much. If something negative happens, I accept it. I don't remember the last time I've cried over something thats happened to me, although I have empathy for other people. I'm not the most unsocial guy, I can have good conversations with people. Give me some drinks and I'm full of energy. Give me some pot and I think clearly about my life(not around people though, I'm 100% an actor trying to stay present around people on pot). 

I've felt different since a small child. I had surgeries as a young child that left scars on my face. I was definitely aware of this as a young kid. Very shy, did not feel like I related. Slowly and surely I made friends every year, so I never suffered with loneliness as a young child. Until I got into middle school and started facing realities of depression and fitting in to a ego-centered/insecure society of kids. However I haven't felt self consious about how I look since 14 years old.

Overall I want to conquer this on my own. Maybe I'm just slowly and surely learning how to be myself. Although I go through phases, overall I feel I've improved my happiness every year. It just frustrates me to think its something out of my control. The ""cloudy mind"" and the impromptu depression is what I don't like. To go from feeling alright to living in ""greyness"" multiple times in the span of a few hours is what scares me. 


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mentalhealth,DAEwtf12,2018/01/09,"Unrealistic attachment to women who are simply nice to me So I thought I was over this once I got married but its rearing its ugly head again 20 years latter. All my life growing up, I had a very hard time getting relationships going with women that weren't friend zoned immediately. I was intelligent, not totally fugly etc but later in life we have discovered I likely have had low testosterone all my life. Maybe that played into the issues. I found I had far more success dating with fix ups from friends or with women I talked to or met online first. Anyway..

The issue is my marriage is falling apart. She doesnt want to work on it so we are kind of drifting right now. A person I know barely professionally online(i.e. we share professions and discuss mainly that) but who has said some nice things to me, has suddenly become the focus of my wandering attention during the day. Now over the years I've developed a way to distance myself from my feelings somewhat and look at situations objectively, I learned to do this to gauge if I am supplementing too much testosterone and if its causing anger issues. I see how I am reacting now and go WTF. 

Does anyone else ever react this sill going gaga over someone they haven't met, have seen a pic of, have only talked to about professional things? Hell I dont even know if she is married or not. Do I react this way just because I sit in a house with my family and 5 pets and feel utterly alone, like I need to get a volley ball and paint a face on it level of alone? I sit here and hope she will message me, or comment on a post I have made or talk about something she has done. When I look at it makes me sick but when I am living it, its a lot like and addiction. ",3.9936094674556237,5.547031437869826,5.0853254437869815,81.75775147928995,71.89940828402365,7.685207100591718,26.31360946745562,8.263242389622931,1.6928603550295862,1358,45,262,21,26,447,193,338,0.123,0.767,0.111,-0.7414,0,2,1,0,0,0,30.0,3,0,1,3,17,15,2,0,14,0,29,7,2,7,4,57,53,26,0,6,15,0,3,3,2,1,5,1,1,4,19,17,0,0,8,2,0,6,6,3,0,1,15,8,41,12,35,37,10,44,1,1,4,0,28,18,1,12,18,187,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062620620513888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292026694969033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736993380410179,0.11337529209271854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745198110489141,0.12220562330860793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366932437430445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136090878853953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683166334444734,0.11323465633861445,0.1296824527030824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924349293208036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340540430686972,0.07308411369293717,0.1000903996287287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043121602748886,0.0,0.11189720356969966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411990528106468,0.0,0.12132339535887797,0.17097777808053147,0.0,0.1156214328383301,0.0,0.18865698315466356,0.0,0.08849792085519413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912179489158994,0.0,0.11356011571116313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990166819085334,0.0,0.12767669778702512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464735022091772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522625987814103,0.12162207749738338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344687719813384,0.16217584936327692,0.0,0.09770708985830072,0.0,0.18583838043736745,0.0,0.0,0.09407174437675787,0.0,0.10470089770459197,0.07386057531136281,0.0,0.11116406327077036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134140784147725,0.08204650727768363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178399806977512,0.0,0.0841552694125962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661641226658707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597332030438296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879804322667915,0.0,0.09449557150327874,0.10525468720093227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881747282011211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437665241383015,0.0,0.0,0.09375445357217717,0.08518474592586955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26681187432368697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470235608961119,0.0,0.0,0.08784474062218643,0.06452163957502015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912988778871569,0.06526498005885494,0.1756596396873056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055543517404179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425115672695295
mentalhealth,fox-on-a-box,2018/01/09,"Always Alone I've always struggled with making and keeping friends. Looking back I'm certain that being undiagnosed, then misdiagnosed, and unmedicated made forming relationships difficult. Now I'm medicated and in therapy. I'm also married, but I really need some friends. I'm lonely and it's important to have people outside of spouses to talk to.

I'm disabled due to my illnesses. I have schiztoaffective disorder bipolar type, anxiety, ADHD, and in the winter I develop SAD. I haven't worked in two years so I don't really get out much. My paranoia makes going out alone kind of difficult. In person meeting is very difficult right now. I've tried meeting people online but once they find out I'm disabled (and because of mental illness) they disappear. I'm getting desperate. I'm just so lonely. It hurts to have no one to text and talk to. 

So, anyone else struggle with this? How do you overcome it and meet friends? Did you meet someone through a certain website or something? Please share! ",3.2365791896869247,6.36176855801105,4.627493093922652,75.31832988029468,84.41436464088397,7.215561694290978,31.851058931860038,8.212053250817874,3.34795561694291,803,44,123,19,24,265,110,181,0.257,0.637,0.105,-0.9854,0,6,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,2,1,9,16,0,2,2,0,9,4,0,4,2,27,26,17,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,5,13,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,9,0,2,2,1,11,7,20,23,3,17,0,4,1,0,17,8,0,2,7,74,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506514637822198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845014211428876,0.0,0.1098368406449682,0.2285684420463083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507055197910743,0.0,0.0,0.09603664813029368,0.14072886582721156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561184042632234,0.0,0.08372583323469572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741226968641991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473631093710407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553323476461872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183432873264703,0.0,0.1435169233817596,0.0,0.07805781659501533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703346596440925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220808737899647,0.0,0.1430264087249373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533740739882173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996163725874474,0.1833612033283749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836327562508444,0.13841409463190896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096630278983802,0.10184151856323223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627073083201422,0.09307030067047936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904390895513504,0.11992664245973154,0.0,0.15076644005799836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759768023997623,0.0,0.0,0.14745994102586596,0.0,0.11729411548042802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637419118331715,0.10573690668089328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28717110379648464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078962573313904,0.0,0.0,0.15706897136495845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325001701720728,0.0,0.13416866558306845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332616921374047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999070184524306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844736299641824
mentalhealth,NeverEndingLife,2018/01/09,"In Canada, Are There Any Consequences to a Provisional Diagnosis of a Personality Disorder? I saw a nurse who seemed really harsh on me. I've seen professionals in the past, even a psychiatrist, and I've never been diagnosed with a 'personality' disorder. A professional has even called me ""well-balanced"" before, and professionals often compliment me on being aware of my feelings.

I want to get this provisional diagnosis sorted out, but at the same time, it seems lower priority than other things I want to focus on. 

Should I be concerned about this provisional diagnosis? Will it affect me in the future, like when seeing a doctor or stuff like job prospects?",8.614111801242231,9.650062286956524,9.69714285714286,54.80000000000001,60.91304347826087,13.180124223602483,35.55900621118012,12.540900571622839,5.2752484472049685,533,22,80,19,7,184,78,115,0.075,0.7979999999999999,0.127,0.7090000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,10,0,7,2,0,1,1,17,16,5,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,9,3,16,9,1,13,0,0,3,0,4,8,0,5,7,61,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309157419875768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381475968227252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19657774836549172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539709104545971,0.0,0.0,0.4412741657581894,0.197045665169828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543066253357154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973405805530891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058032763841714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103988566981456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810468686262954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847823438926674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377586354298908,0.0,0.33619062357096674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332904040206487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340828831100697,0.3505140142212729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203818324174659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278973764853344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225613606255178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22709883164354666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309270410830674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beinn_fiadhaich,2018/01/09,Everything just feels too hard I have no energy for any of it,2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,4.910769230769233,83.0092307692308,74.38461538461539,11.353846153846154,20.69230769230769,11.20814326018867,2.5062923076923083,49,1,11,2,1,17,13,13,0.245,0.612,0.14300000000000002,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456680835768396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5889963810712048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313703098705187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5870749016116152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,monsterje,2018/01/09,"Qutting Paxil and others antidepressants Possible getting off antidepressants after 20 years? Hi all, I am trying to find out if somebody succeeded getting out of antidepresants after 20 or more years, and how. Paxil is a really strong SSRI and it has a really strong withdrawal, but It must be a way",8.998238993710693,9.483006433962265,9.779245283018867,56.416540880503156,60.132075471698116,13.104402515723276,36.53459119496856,12.45797560212912,5.349055345911951,243,10,34,8,3,83,39,53,0.0,0.8540000000000001,0.146,0.6890000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,2,12,7,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,5,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,28,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33176513751108416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792932756826967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4092152707609879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465079770758629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464455311506421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881235706333193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4675057024065463
mentalhealth,kvv321,2018/01/10,"[need advice] I push friends away when I think they don't like me as much as I do them I sometimes tend to ignore or push friends away because I think they don't like me as much as I like them. This mostly happens with girls or people I've only recently become friends with. I get really depressed and sad one random night and think that people couldn't possibly like me and that they're just friends with me because it's convenient or basically dumb luck. The person who I'm thinking of differs, but the thoughts are always the same. The next days/weeks I try to subtly end the friendship, to be the least of a burden to them as I've already been one by being in their lives.
This all sounds very depressing, and it is, but I actually do have a lot of friends and a lot of close friends, this just happens every now and then.
I don't really know why I do this because I know it doesn't really solve anything but I still somehow want to push them away. Does anyone know why I do this? Does it have a name? Is it common? ",4.727313213102692,4.977978602870817,5.246507177033493,86.08247331615755,69.19138755980862,8.153257269046742,28.51711446448289,7.882392219407189,1.5843534044902463,804,26,171,9,13,258,104,209,0.12,0.7659999999999999,0.114,0.4289,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,7,0,9,17,1,0,10,0,17,0,0,0,1,39,32,19,0,3,8,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,2,13,10,0,1,8,0,0,3,5,6,0,2,2,1,25,11,22,27,8,17,0,3,0,0,17,5,1,9,13,116,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.10219977858064053,0.0,0.0,0.10233934778853657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557035681005785,0.0,0.08714239064921403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322850900226739,0.0,0.08618252229988166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951872436827018,0.0,0.0,0.1915243207290342,0.11566425285099137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040477743382446,0.0,0.0,0.1094188528299141,0.0,0.0,0.18329699877673844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927582478065197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823816578169537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854772576021295,0.0,0.054716249059320266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852218974771963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266791424641434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20465995960167985,0.0,0.09247706644534576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780726243709725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397479934410738,0.07765475684651457,0.0,0.0,0.11137980602653363,0.09828047758647034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193330323743547,0.07965064206170781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452109257777781,0.091444770178354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180654976470855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012750201553992,0.0,0.10340662752108283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035790324927163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363620887244759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26842283435706016,0.0,0.08314262483074003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110368639003092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641187051011978,0.06177150405574326,0.0,0.08400677859147003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18900212285316648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CuppaTea15,2018/01/10,"When anxiety is gone, depression is back. I have generalized anxiety, with panic attacks.  It's definitely triggered and worsened by grad school, I'm a PhD student in neuroscience. 

I'm taking propanolol for shaking so that I can have steady hands when I do my lab work. I can't pipette precisely without it, and I definitely can't perform my dissections or any other tasks which require fine motor control. 

I'm taking Klonopin to control and prevent the panic attacks. 

The two help, a lot. I'm in talk therapy, and that's helping. I'm better able to control my breathing, thoughts and prevent an attack from happening or shorten it's time span. Think through the panic rationally. 

But I'm struggling a lot with depression when my anxiety isn't high. I feel so empty. I don't have any interest in anything, food isn't appealing and I normally love to cook but instead I just want fatty sugary snack food. 

I want to cry all the time, and I find that I am. I have to leave the lab to go cry for what seems like no reason. I'm so tired, I want to sleep constantly and struggle staying focused during the day. 

I just don't know how to cope with it. I've not tolerated any SSRI I've tried (4 I believe now), or SNRI (tried 2, first I was trying was horrendous and had diahhrea and vomiting within the first day on them couldn't sleep and was incredibly agitated and withdrawal from the 2nd was such a bitch I don't think trying another is a good idea.) 

I just don't know how to cope. And wondered if anyone had any advice or useful coping mechanisms they could share for similar feelings. ",3.526593314093315,5.640351353896104,4.873174603174603,80.4421957671958,74.42207792207792,8.069456469456469,30.56325156325156,8.841846274778883,2.7499808561808563,1259,59,232,27,27,418,161,308,0.201,0.68,0.118,-0.9815,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,2,9,15,19,4,6,14,0,26,11,4,8,2,61,52,28,0,7,12,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,16,4,6,12,1,0,3,12,12,0,3,8,3,25,7,25,42,3,23,0,2,0,1,7,7,1,9,13,143,35,6,0.08894039715954855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691152674683683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419300798586708,0.09326176127787254,0.20411748115944695,0.0,0.0,0.062189193661193576,0.0,0.07319036864934016,0.0,0.0,0.3035476248648296,0.0,0.06838967545261357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002053707580372,0.0,0.07866055362290954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611297267451817,0.29926265450972384,0.07101166998591521,0.0,0.19539369992091216,0.1147183966248652,0.0,0.1532084674957571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899418743275845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128991171267652,0.15130531277737808,0.21509416256869776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505468773380283,0.07459898538886743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864969947801645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922974686587175,0.09397041276571493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040288253078024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775863257311568,0.0,0.0,0.09417503861240636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043451785499165466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512278902526951,0.08027218090143752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714270538200079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130571783628961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144554128224504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001243022664912,0.0,0.08096799720634712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800925770140294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479862947568456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859596282834543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374421978996565,0.0714869222344789,0.0,0.0,0.10171109538441576,0.0,0.0,0.11397883048800593,0.0,0.07060874060591285,0.10372372164692054,0.1022239028739346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24153876588133136,0.0,0.08688184447971578,0.0,0.0,0.07681594678750618,0.0,0.0,0.15737805183279954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573536901633075,0.0964520667761969,0.06474966840716906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilly2106,2018/01/10,"I have agoraphobia with a panic disorder. I've been in therapy for almost two years but nothing seems to help. I have agoraphobia with a panic disorder. My fears are getting worse to the point I can barely take the train, airplane, ride on a highway... For instance when I'm on the train I'm afraid that I'm stuck and think that I can't leave the train when I get scared. Or I am afraid when I travel far away from home because I cannot quickly be home. 

I grew up with an alcoholic mother and an absent father who did not protect us. Since I was 8 years old I am taking care of my parents. I have a constant fear of abandonment or I am afraid that any moment something can go terribly wrong.
 

Anyway, I've been in cognitive behavioral therapy and EMDR therapy for almost two years. I certainly made progress, but I am still afraid of going on a train or an airplane or... I am afraid that I will have to live with this my entire life. Worrying about it slowly becomes an obsession. 

Does anyone else has experience with agoraphobia? Or does anyone have any advice to conquer this fear? Thank you in advance!",3.9591911764705854,5.634965273148151,5.098627450980395,81.13852941176471,72.19444444444444,8.230501089324619,27.983660130718953,8.841846274778883,2.2559513071895427,873,33,165,17,17,288,117,216,0.254,0.6829999999999999,0.063,-0.9935,1,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,3,7,18,0,12,13,0,22,2,0,1,1,23,37,13,0,0,8,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,8,8,1,2,2,1,0,6,3,15,0,2,6,0,22,3,25,29,0,27,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,8,11,109,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040992898005041,0.0,0.11384752333489075,0.21334759766700806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488728041809185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897565687124195,0.10915195206995404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008787134684624,0.0,0.0,0.06493932913146078,0.11765334485005235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086138158561776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512042844646893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441838270356113,0.0,0.18644917920182105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899163820070045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420618762750143,0.0,0.35962555178297584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113144218857483,0.0,0.12108621789257545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140440650631454,0.0,0.2137153338750529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279924543315376,0.0,0.0,0.07524486064176501,0.0,0.0,0.0940674056247294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080068731895032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221782558494803,0.0,0.11178467765808484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24997857901676104,0.1182882838929998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070470961729992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066545064788286,0.0,0.0,0.09698035831658776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812221463727073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201153119665383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850745107660698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601936914031334,0.0,0.0,0.09807795229144214,0.3654769346714197,0.0,0.0,0.06825973349113497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20812747504117304,0.0,0.12814174302018091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818576953257424,0.10856255240852652,0.0,0.11647316785340812,0.0,0.20580430894012333
mentalhealth,holupson,2018/01/10,"I think I'm going into a psychotic state but I don't know what to do. I'm a teenage girl in the US. 

For the past few weeks I've been obsessed with my religion and considering suicide. I've been believing that I'm psychic and God is sending me messages through TV and books.

I've been hearing voices (usually not saying anything in particular, although a male one once yelled at me to get up.) 

Today I found a rope in my backyard. I took it as a sign from God that He wanted me to kill myself so that I wouldn't sin. I was trying to figure out how to hang myself with it, and my dog looked at me, and I thought that was a sign from God that He wanted me to go through with it. I couldn't figure out what it was attached to, and went back inside, pledging to go back out. 

That's wrong! It's all wrong! But I still believe it. I can't shake it. I still think I should go back out there and hang myself for my soul's sake. I don't want to go to hell. I feel like I'm lying to myself for writing this post. That I know the truth and what I need to do, and this is being disobedient to God.

This is not my first brush with this. Earlier this year I was convinced I was a god, or half-angel. I've been hospitalized for depression before, but not psychosis. I've been diagnosed with MDD with psychotic features, and GAD. I haven't been on medication since August (my mother took me off of it). In the 7th grade I was sure people were reading my mind, and spying on me through my vents. I have a kind of worry about thought broadcasting as well.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of getting into a state where I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore. I'm scared that I'm already there. Please help. ",1.6408354928067226,3.1907675844875385,3.3338843713698516,91.90158788312038,78.14127423822714,6.2093110535251546,22.72549370029488,6.968188349444268,0.5330958984898579,1322,40,301,14,31,440,160,361,0.123,0.7559999999999999,0.12,-0.8458,0,0,0,0,0,4,43.0,1,0,0,1,12,16,2,4,13,0,31,2,0,1,3,59,64,21,2,7,7,1,1,1,0,2,2,4,1,2,27,24,0,0,12,3,0,12,12,10,1,2,19,7,43,6,51,41,2,44,3,1,1,0,12,17,1,1,13,200,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402380994321713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145946683876286,0.0,0.0,0.092486387177247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592600960848027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563457124801236,0.2532473298930697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680028878890612,0.11407224270563447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056827142464347113,0.0802905646154924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559783614800256,0.0,0.12322849280183801,0.0,0.0,0.11743699442395925,0.0,0.3193656593317244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266703196419747,0.0,0.07533182804771665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434152976707685,0.117035616205553,0.2470637300760999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490747937713436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437826669081756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321986874566005,0.0,0.0,0.1134806261478538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333485393791477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969037933885153,0.076157543816637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728780452845196,0.07791622677924633,0.0,0.0,0.1233691272304799,0.0,0.0,0.10763738106477193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241919081766706,0.12792303305403982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937606628128496,0.11252077197597997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296915757785623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950764469154815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293508040284745,0.0,0.10592509208491832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402838025080172,0.0,0.1784482696914284,0.0,0.0,0.10653141914921638,0.0,0.2497361327295488,0.07630460206671139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518986044758038,0.0,0.12378035949881278,0.0,0.19886943738109414,0.0,0.09015149757730673,0.0,0.1010510077093399,0.10418552208574358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141362583402618,0.0,0.0,0.24575896873058814,0.0,0.07237468746033897
mentalhealth,ItsOnYourTray,2018/01/10,"Signed off work with anxiety/panic attacks. Trying to be proactive. Seeking help & advice. I'll try to be as concise as possible. 
I'm looking for help and advice from professionals and fellow sufferers alike. 

29/F/UK. 
Employed full time. 
In a happy relationship with my boyfriend. 
Personal and family history of mental health problems. 

I try to steer away from a diagnosis and manage my problems by myself. 

Since I was about 12 (as far as I remember) I've suffered with bouts of depression & anxiety. People do not see it in me, and tend to be shocked when they learn about my anxiety issues, people tend to see me as very confident, outgoing, strong and happy. 

About 6 years ago I was studying at university, suffered one of my ""episodes"" and dropped out of uni, was housebound for about 8 months and lost everything. 

Since then I have moved city/country about 6 times. 

I find it hard to stay in one place as familiarity freaks me out. I like to be anonymous. 

I have these problems off and on, but tend to keep them at bay by moving homes and jobs. 

I have been in my current job about 9 months. I hate it, I feel dumped on, taken advantage of, overworked, underpaid, undervalued and taken the piss out of. I'm miserable about it every day when I get home, and at the weekend all I do is worry about going back in. Well, on Sunday my boyfriend had his friend over and I couldn't take it anymore. I was upstairs, I could hear then talking and laughing and I was getting more and more anxious and distressed, I wanted them to fuck off and I freaked the fuck out (they had done NOTHING wrong) I ran downstairs and told them to leave immediately, they were confused and started questioning me so I shouted at them and ran out of the house. (My logic being that if they wouldn't leave then I would.) As soon as I left I felt a panic attack coming on pretty strongly, I text my boyfriend and begged him to leave the house immediately as I needed to be go home and I needed to be alone. I hid in an alley, struggling to breathe, until he confirmed they had left. 

I ran home and literally broke down. I fell to the floor, I threw up, i was sobbing and wailing, I scratched the shit out of my legs and downed half a litre of whiskey trying to calm myself and trying to breathe. 

This went on for about four hours. 

After I 'came to' I was shocked by how I'd behaved. I was so out of control. I asked my boyfriend to come home, apologised, and explained myself. He is very patient and very understanding and helps me so much.

I didn't go to work on Monday or Tuesday, I couldn't even leave the house. I went to the doctor today (I didn't open up very much or tell him a lot, just that I was suffering panic attacks. I actually nearly had a panic attack on the short walk there, going outside is extremely difficult and I can only do it if I have a destination and a purpose). The doctor has signed me off work for a week and said that can be extended if I don't feel ready. I take propranolol for a heart condition anyway. He said I can triple my dose of that. And he has also referred me to a therapist for CBT. 

I basically can't go out of the house. I do not get sick pay, which is causing further anxiety, and I will not be ready to go back to work in a week. (I don't think I'll go back to that place at all). 

I need help. What is wrong with me? What is triggering this? I don't want to be in a cycle of quitting jobs every few months when I can't face life anymore. It's not sustainable. I am losing almost all of my friendships. And now I am stuck inside my house incapable of anything. 

Has anybody been here? Can anybody offer help or advice? Medical or personal? 

Thanks for reading. 
Sorry for the ramble. 
I'm not in my right mind. 
Thanks ",2.529453781512604,4.587107893530998,3.8688227366418286,86.7600979070874,77.20754716981132,6.736673537339464,25.601791660060247,7.724431198458867,1.4108621531631522,2915,109,588,44,68,956,320,742,0.185,0.716,0.099,-0.996,5,1,1,0,0,2,105.0,0,0,9,11,28,48,10,7,27,0,63,17,7,4,3,105,120,65,0,16,14,0,5,1,2,3,7,4,5,2,18,52,1,2,12,3,2,20,15,36,1,4,34,12,94,12,118,70,11,104,0,10,3,2,36,51,5,11,32,406,112,16,0.0,0.0,0.051826113848739766,0.0,0.0,0.15569067066547934,0.04707737080995463,0.0,0.053180366919090616,0.05500426072658442,0.0,0.04247074897517551,0.0,0.11508580607775268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188328647066468,0.059997348005904276,0.10533847638254584,0.0,0.0,0.04370366819298864,0.0,0.04964916231068255,0.2416737779879439,0.04989706732656705,0.12251118851964482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607418337331446,0.0,0.05455693136753288,0.0,0.09149632650582043,0.0,0.0,0.05956555940626431,0.042402716643816604,0.0,0.0,0.034250508873273564,0.0,0.04574216629424792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871734614246532,0.0,0.0543483073229955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03507758136815214,0.0,0.08949219438861641,0.0,0.04773038376103245,0.0,0.0500658502216158,0.0,0.05370638111007348,0.0,0.05099236931603925,0.0,0.04854009338235769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041031399436299784,0.09819567538221444,0.08324080323383888,0.0,0.2112789971273032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306970726503075,0.047574673208399934,0.05243352608525498,0.0,0.05645172006289699,0.0598569993757373,0.06293368108237994,0.17798712425965707,0.0,0.26636015582070033,0.0,0.05230105233900717,0.3063996762865685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543134639224867,0.1581056048059854,0.04720516463290316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493640710009494,0.11540481149572974,0.0,0.03751201646011036,0.025946069829852723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459766002298349,0.05941468797336455,0.05797406584677867,0.04515084196934888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053501101378640094,0.05352075162776724,0.0,0.05362432010662977,0.0,0.12717179674642887,0.11289159745870088,0.0780815339472388,0.11813756326433067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050958918963442935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197521985536316,0.04039131298467651,0.0,0.1869337086434886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363732168462457,0.09274437060342046,0.11097389843143612,0.0,0.0,0.059871714084369414,0.0,0.05403031103943471,0.0,0.15245262972056994,0.0,0.0,0.05949353536843286,0.05648729494963345,0.05312274772506518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057018520401976275,0.06016143697247521,0.04535426279181419,0.10103645424729027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464099916664726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451498461632712,0.08786359461047005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059450478710945685,0.03759038176992048,0.0566064623557917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055520405497130006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986177843201095,0.0426865007941426,0.04641906133435652,0.09779011428425434,0.0,0.06166291768296685,0.0,0.034029702818812194,0.0,0.0,0.06193584208213707,0.0,0.05034053050102217,0.05074732902869557,0.0,0.1802855053647288,0.0,0.0,0.05528769222140746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17527988812251138,0.06264939212710331,0.0,0.0852006713089322,0.0,0.04775080794357812,0.09846399295546927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465412052947586,0.053934133611818674,0.0,0.03772666644606275,0.11613134378650515,0.0,0.034200052817243816
mentalhealth,mercury228,2018/01/10,"Most likely ADHD but unsure what to do. Funny thing is I am a mental health therapist and have worked for years in addiction and as a therapist. I have been in recovery for 12 years from drugs and alcohol. I have always had a terrible time with motivation, attention, concentration, etc. Sometimes its not that bad but its always there. I do not want to take meds for this type of issue but have not found a lot of good options otherwise out there. What are some suggestions others have? I already exercise, eat healthy, take vitamins, etc. I try to meditate but that is one of the things I have a hard time with motivation as well lol. Any suggestions?",3.1832912988650715,5.915331049180331,4.415901639344263,80.11781210592687,78.672131147541,8.99974779319042,25.778058007566198,9.466822959209583,2.8385339218158894,516,20,94,16,13,169,77,122,0.071,0.723,0.206,0.9655,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,6,1,14,7,0,2,0,22,18,9,0,1,7,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,10,6,2,0,4,1,0,0,3,2,1,1,3,1,7,3,17,15,5,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,5,73,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140660175079162,0.18896287521615765,0.0,0.0,0.16803369402803034,0.0,0.0,0.17350994155768465,0.0,0.2616600229692496,0.0,0.0,0.1069234719964514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128254566222422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233974832912608,0.1608880709402666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507115353350458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239728882766694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187913681258395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084941039190702,0.0,0.0,0.16713076412817354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410984942297566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681584320114164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367342413942446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746498297336631,0.0,0.15845334927433016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654479154326424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550693422146347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364385007065438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651180349950189,0.20891653433621385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833670365150296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675052678384156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273978513588473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137087427019174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446711150193215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250511248200675
mentalhealth,LeanAkaryocyte,2018/01/10,"I cant look at people slitting their wrists I have seen people get killed by guns , get hanged be dicapitated I cannot for some reason look at slit wrists or even imagine it",6.025428571428571,5.859902542857142,6.069285714285716,82.71821428571431,66.42857142857143,8.142857142857144,26.07142857142857,7.1686216300943375,1.0061428571428563,139,3,29,1,2,44,28,35,0.134,0.866,0.0,-0.6705,0,0,0,1,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,1,0,4,9,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,4,7,1,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585045738530315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357302732024573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783098205792238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5742928401357837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4741211376164294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515748695143313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SupremeDeluxeEdition,2018/01/10,"Pulling hair out of my face I have been pulling hair out of my face ever since I started growing facial hair (about 8 years now). When I think about it I have always had a little ""nervous habit"" since high school (biting cuticles, chewing gum all day long). I just can't seem to stop this habit though. I try to shave often to discourage the behavior but i'm afraid that I have just become too good at finding ways to pull it out. I feels good when I do it which kinda seems odd to me. I want to try and grow a beard but i'm afraid the pulling might get worse and spread to other areas of my face. Does anyone have any tips on how to discourage my behaviour? Should I see a mental health professional about this?",3.9885416666666655,4.888114104166668,4.284333333333337,89.994,71.15277777777777,7.426666666666668,24.12222222222222,7.554174236665415,0.8521938888888898,557,14,121,6,10,174,90,144,0.099,0.8170000000000001,0.084,-0.477,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,3,5,0,10,9,7,1,2,25,20,8,0,2,4,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,5,1,3,5,0,0,6,1,5,0,0,2,5,16,2,19,16,1,24,0,2,1,0,0,8,0,5,9,73,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524803300784699,0.0,0.0,0.12461763259167001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813404751273766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023874181280318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818236914115215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036504545977848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576191022818873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265770883974993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674889928054814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574159780405532,0.0,0.0,0.3074061384456839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478828895100808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361578154095316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366662924488514,0.0,0.16217223857706428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467489779459628,0.194401395162778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546079041052932,0.14602810493998644,0.3336514461843939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30317586844456873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970669694067455,0.0,0.0,0.15320686348181956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174204714790325,0.18004414312690445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488321353080921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108086767618972,0.14545689463010975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186749426591768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800826906394815
mentalhealth,shmokahontas,2018/01/10,Need help in Dallas and getting overwhelmed I just moved here and am having a serious depression spell with extreme anxiety. I need a good psychiatrist  here but trying to find one that takes my insurance (UnitedHealthcare) is seeming impossible. Does anyone have a recommendation??? ,10.248,12.409945800000004,9.664444444444444,52.49000000000001,57.66666666666666,13.111111111111116,41.66666666666667,12.45797560212912,6.424333333333335,231,12,29,8,3,74,39,45,0.11,0.768,0.123,0.1506,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,3,9,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624152171375234,0.0,0.0,0.21592961555108314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26598065948371474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702448200625181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822499915327386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613423349014318,0.0,0.0,0.2590181555219388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699121412685093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282199333223448,0.0,0.4579626710974422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092600547213504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811322591503135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23218935848212904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096641304821428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmyTheLamie,2018/01/10,"Olanzapine? what's that for! Ok so my therapist gave me pills for sleeping and depression too, The pills are 2.5 (no idea if it's mg or not but I guess so), I'm supposed to take half every night, but there's no slice or anything for cutting it in half! Am I supposed to do it anyway? what are these pills for, I'm scared of the side effects (internet said brain damage and shrinkage). but she insisted a lot on taking them",1.9634883720930207,3.9407394767441914,3.4211046511627927,89.68188953488372,78.65116279069767,6.625581395348838,24.703488372093023,7.6454224807358475,1.1955395348837208,329,12,70,5,8,108,61,86,0.179,0.804,0.018000000000000002,-0.9371,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,1,1,3,1,4,5,2,1,0,13,11,10,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,2,1,6,1,9,9,1,4,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,5,1,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200554938561982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29851779250200017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23031968276630665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253043033538916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29458206048187946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018731331406662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273422629815363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25094599757082586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543679713415173,0.0,0.26772387593432195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676029362697481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40211780428787536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31048340710028266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,missmegs31,2018/01/10,"How to help an aggressive, depressed friend? Hi, 30yo in Seattle, WA, USA here and I need some advice. 

A friend has been dealing with severe depression for the last year or so, and recently has gone off her meds. She is becoming increasingly hostile, irritable, and aggressive when we're all hanging out, and none of us know what to do about it. At first she seemed to delight in her aggression, like a teenager who just discovered the joys of cursing, but now she's just mean to everyone and it doesn't even seem to be a release for her. She'll come to trivia nights and get bitter and angry if anyone suggests a different answer than hers (whether she's right or not). She'll do something nice for us, like buying a pitcher for the table, then hold it over their heads that we're ""just using her"" if we dare talk about anything other than what she wants to talk at us about. Everything's the end of the world to her, from political events to the fact that she dropped a nickel, and she's mad at us if we aren't as passionately angry about it as her. She alternates between sulking/mumbling her annoyance and flat out yelling at people. Social gatherings have become group efforts to calm her down.

We've tried talking to her one-on-one about specific, notably bad instances (like when she was hurling f-bombs at a 6 year old at a soccer match), and she alternates between sometimes apologizing and blaming her depression, and other times defensively saying ""That's just who I am, take me or leave me."" We don't really want to leave her, but we don't know what else to do at this point. Is approaching her as a group and talking about the patterns we're seeing a good idea, or is she just going to feel attacked, get defensive and not listen? Does anyone here have experience with someone like this (or dealt with these emotions themselves)? Is this likely connected to her depression, or is she using that as an excuse to be a dick? (I've also dealt with depression and never experienced this, but I understand that everyone's case is different.) We don't know how to (or if we can) help our friend.",9.232786069651738,7.212880139303483,8.794626865671644,71.78756218905475,61.03980099502488,12.216915422885572,38.502487562189046,10.864195022040775,4.01492935323383,1664,65,311,33,18,534,202,402,0.179,0.732,0.09,-0.9908,2,0,1,0,1,0,58.0,11,0,1,2,21,29,10,0,20,0,26,3,2,4,3,74,47,41,0,7,22,0,1,5,3,2,0,3,0,0,21,28,0,3,10,2,2,6,9,16,0,1,3,7,45,13,57,40,4,39,0,5,1,2,62,17,1,14,20,220,66,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496877714723268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953571956860781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159813398644208,0.0,0.0715543306609319,0.0,0.0,0.09892078935950883,0.0,0.0,0.07260153502695123,0.0,0.1920639585216883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490170358409856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964399894900499,0.3744594249746573,0.0,0.0,0.1816932846009839,0.0,0.0,0.07609254005115829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263748569979063,0.09780962936144502,0.07701392530589103,0.0,0.0,0.05743117133598349,0.0,0.0,0.1661732898686496,0.07814711678499353,0.0850560301693913,0.0,0.0,0.043965693401094685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396157842228497,0.0,0.0,0.20153738421550524,0.0,0.0908579715059438,0.0,0.049416993542571126,0.07293146032723488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923814127025792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656458205224128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815855813404108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336012338476584,0.07087772647829567,0.0,0.1841398527492977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21240249808764988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471654110925504,0.09658439868681007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644740255971529,0.06706297099115886,0.0,0.0,0.08159883933620103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124180753401312,0.0,0.05892112600459201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060281773620690635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219802503501518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570386725617623,0.0,0.08585490213931164,0.0,0.0,0.07425678554847061,0.0,0.06914795566193069,0.0,0.0,0.0692897220331447,0.15831620886660489,0.0,0.09823134431270036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863691544851778,0.07367439809474717,0.06694012544279677,0.0859980439506516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653773051252819,0.2795558468085046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050702582956406006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05903490117706225,0.0,0.0,0.09052040650732136,0.4183716229690161,0.15019773114683774,0.0,0.0,0.10257343388599847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198885535649376
mentalhealth,swisdom716,2018/01/10,"How to slow weight gain with an increase of seroquel Does anyone know how I can slow the weight gain? I was recently increased to 400 mg/day of seroquel, and I've gained 20 lbs in less than 2 months. I'm a 5'2"" female who has always been fit, and I do NOT wear the extra weight well. I know it sounds vain, but I can't stand the way that I look and it's depressing me. My psychiatrist insists that this is the best path to control my symptoms (bipolar 1), but I really can't stand the weight gain. I am very active and careful with what I eat, but nothing is working. HELP. ",2.794136321195144,3.9491806638655484,3.845658263305325,91.041335200747,74.29411764705883,6.633426704014939,24.986928104575163,6.937597516519254,0.7916379084967313,445,14,99,4,9,144,80,119,0.071,0.696,0.233,0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,7,3,5,0,0,7,0,10,8,1,3,0,15,15,9,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,6,5,1,2,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,2,6,12,3,9,13,5,11,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,59,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105358875412149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012847860109967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528775854241132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058293746123914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665095226904873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157522347598368,0.0,0.13565552502606548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378303333118854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116301485555964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556971278537618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731170456085072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226131325819118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571592947864882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112661832143856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008992811321314,0.0,0.15551340210702425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370401945056812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995495828079828,0.0,0.12501709591326246,0.0,0.7671759652108042,0.1416124649701926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466272597865933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crazy_Wulf,2018/01/10,"People give up So I am 37 and have depression and severe social anxiety/phobia since I was 6 or so.     By now have seen dozens of doctors and therapists and hospitilized once.  .. Every time I try to get help for myself I feel like people give up trying things help after seeing no results which makes me stop trying to help myself for periods of time.

Latest place I have been going to for almost a year now which is a record for me..... They give me a bunch of pills, no result.... Increase dosage to max, no result, add more pills to go along with current and no result.   Last couple of of appointments they ask if any results, tell them no and they say see you next month.   

If meds don't work what's the point?   I think they think I am not taking them or something or just gave up on me again",3.99561565017261,4.914441139240509,4.649792865362488,87.30907364787113,71.15189873417722,7.264441887226697,21.958573072497124,7.348242739294969,0.6387518987341765,612,12,126,6,11,196,99,158,0.119,0.8029999999999999,0.078,-0.6808,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,6,1,6,2,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,6,0,27,25,13,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,9,0,1,3,0,0,3,7,1,0,1,4,5,20,1,22,21,3,23,0,1,3,0,18,6,0,6,15,85,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335833667469508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735661311957558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383926697949008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840854206480365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330717623324015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653469704696628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062207235650935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238815667134416,0.10227658331163496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479742234713649,0.4120086400393288,0.16272710807273985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28787997783690017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669798817938795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994283096452131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556326211752346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902323023465134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427235469083015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522568256328547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246527549875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985041579338496,0.0,0.14957619150730447,0.0,0.1353365102200707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138499739397802,0.0,0.0,0.2281667757854254,0.0,0.0,0.1617348753555074,0.0,0.11842696381524027,0.0,0.0,0.1459379444745032,0.0,0.11021484965438877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969174044685045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076417142562647,0.0,0.1251318824674216,0.0,0.0,0.1662247522095497,0.09511197975468068,0.18346776738344925,0.0,0.0,0.16696047462309585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915974259632237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422529386044238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219309625159378
mentalhealth,wingedquokka,2018/01/10,"If only I could get rid of all the useless, ill and weak parts of me and just become the person I always pretended to be A mentally healthy dude with a clean record, good education, proud parents. The folder of mental health records says something different, essentially that inside I'm a mentally ill (trans)chick with a ton of issues, personality disorder and severe depression. I just try to at least appear like a respectable person, but I'm a fucking weirdo inside and there's nothing I can do about it. It's so shameful. My whole existence. I feel like this alien from Stephenie Meyers The Host.

I spent my whole life in ambivalence and cognitive dissonance. My mind exists in barely related chunks.
Fuck. I start sweating and shaking just thinking about this.
Psychiatrists and therapists just give me that compassion stare which makes me feel worse, but can't really do anything.

Some part of me keeps me going, because I deserve to suffer. Death would be too easy and nice.",6.480708041958042,8.406284920454546,6.384318181818184,73.40368881118884,66.27272727272728,9.506293706293707,32.85664335664335,9.851270322608157,3.532153496503496,790,34,126,18,13,249,119,176,0.217,0.654,0.129,-0.9634,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,9,14,2,2,10,0,8,8,1,1,1,28,23,12,1,3,7,1,2,2,0,1,5,1,1,3,7,10,0,1,3,1,1,3,1,8,0,0,1,4,16,6,16,18,8,7,0,3,1,2,6,3,2,3,3,83,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111760633983669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052959712017424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187702658641516,0.1483400917919479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723940074654534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568509969417955,0.0,0.0,0.14033032914213805,0.15393634308797802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582714935199172,0.09595448617204656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483436491191556,0.07017391465301875,0.12884694969051988,0.0763341692487226,0.11265684205130198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277030128775034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018970575900055,0.0,0.11938512359709284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948704819968982,0.13123880734595228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965614040382615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4060730386884365,0.0,0.13561961140323514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128878627712366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215242188909407,0.0,0.0,0.14914063780305498,0.29089957661161314,0.0,0.0,0.3518353839096539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604546991063472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681248235293506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173743938581735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340205865982577,0.0,0.0,0.09506867328105456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559497802028026,0.0,0.08606347014335952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119090043689898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999152494845636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368782078399347,0.0954133466453392,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheClericofLight,2018/01/10,"[Advice Request] How to keep someone going until their first therapy appointment? Hey, all. After months and months of waffling and fear, my fiancé has finally scheduled a therapy appointment to talk to someone about what we deeply suspect is undiagnosed severe ADD (even if it's not ADD, he has depression issues and a history of self-harm that still need to be addressed regardless). Since I've gone through therapy myself, I helped guide him in how to choose a doctor, what to expect, etc. My biggest warning to him was that a patient is somewhat at the mercy of the doctor in regards to scheduling. Some are fully booked up, and ones that aren't may require a few weeks before an opening pops up. Luckily, we found a highly recommended doctor who was accepting new patients, but my fiancé's first appointment won't be for another two weeks. 

I couldn't be prouder of him for making this first step and I make sure to remind him of this fact when he's in a dark period, but his issues have been becoming increasingly severe lately. He's been warned at work multiple times for being late (11 times last year), he went to work today completely forgetting his work shirt, he can barely pay attention to anything, plus a multitude of other issues have caused him to fall deeply into depression and self-loathing. He is terrified of losing his job. I'm working really hard to keep him motivated, like letting him vent or helping him break up his to-do lists into small, more manageable pieces. It's been a little tough on me, I won't lie, but it's worth it to keep him together a little longer until his appointment, and even though it keeps me busy, I'm certainly not feeling any stressful effects at the moment. My only current stress is the fear of him losing his job, but I can compartmentalize in a healthy manner and remind myself to deal with one issue at a time. 

His first appointment is 2 weeks to the day from now. As of this moment, I am the only support system he truly has (despite his parents being doctors, they're unfortunately pretty dismissive of mental health concerns regarding their children. **My** parents are more supportive of him than his own). Our current goal is to get him through this two week period. Is there anything else I can do to help, or is what I'm already doing enough and we just have to push through?",7.074875902129907,7.532497681922202,7.301384439359268,72.65162251364198,64.17162471395879,10.292870973420172,33.970163703573306,10.125756701596842,3.5235299067065657,1865,75,316,39,26,605,234,437,0.115,0.775,0.109,-0.228,6,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,4,0,2,14,12,15,0,4,19,0,38,6,1,7,4,59,56,24,0,5,10,2,2,1,0,3,5,0,1,1,17,19,0,5,8,1,2,7,6,9,0,8,8,2,43,6,59,38,11,64,0,4,0,0,45,20,0,6,36,222,60,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960990997441145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860947237891104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844216788447216,0.07469599315080536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724048957315045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867333926000397,0.06061564461236563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317785448687435,0.0,0.0,0.07468842676583974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594061087389844,0.07344004357946328,0.12270901258888935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916477131977022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950760985495365,0.0,0.0,0.07360468355915996,0.0794457323378216,0.09409994590119887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603181112447882,0.03601850070537884,0.0,0.0,0.07803433995800264,0.0,0.2423694438543915,0.0,0.07810537997208737,0.0,0.0,0.03721728986417673,0.0,0.04048442954220486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381246939736603,0.0,0.0,0.07571935687634425,0.0,0.0,0.14324173541067034,0.07526357225243167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974028706253413,0.14137927301555098,0.2532673727753868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05806594286741251,0.16071211717452152,0.0,0.0,0.07284250124023403,0.0,0.034801768994748794,0.14279214752552696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938724125108464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509968432034688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178801440023155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371801900479415,0.0,0.0,0.05281976825121205,0.0,0.06879910056381314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654120994735732,0.1083546874810279,0.0,0.0,0.15819583031928555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247149243949698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563489454732349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486270518481413,0.16095029877678274,0.0,0.058926237051201036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071418210262727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05688827509671001,0.0,0.16319865141927625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167301778715507,0.06713804070601673,0.0,0.0,0.05725590617669065,0.0,0.0,0.2443899143688316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998791765325542,0.0,0.12461291147981993,0.0,0.06752234635374152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917227320745335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285613274407664,0.0,0.0,0.06603545661459173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074393930197561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587293357179265
mentalhealth,thefatface,2018/01/10,"Why do I sometimes feel I have someone else's face temporarily? I'm usually isolated a lot so I don't notice it very often, but whenever I am around someone for a while or I see videos of them a lot (like youtube), I will sometimes feel like I have their face momentarily. I'll be doing some random task and suddenly I'll imagine what they look like doing that task and literally feel like I have the same facial features as them as I'm doing it. I never really thought about it before, but I went on a ""vacation"" with my family and had to be with my ""sister"" the entire time and even though I hate her, I unintentionally started feeling like I was her occasionally. And when I thought back on it, I remember experiencing the same thing when I was 13 with my best friend at the time. Except, I actually liked my bff at the time so it felt nice.

When it happens with someone I hate, it's a miserable experience. I've always known I'm a very influenceable person which is why I try to stay away from people I dislike, opinions I disagree with because even though I believe completely oppositely, I start to adapt their thought. [Why I isolate]

Is there a name for this and why it happens? I know I have depersonalization/derealization since I was about 16. But this sounds a bit different. 

Age 20, female",4.402993551071359,5.914959675889327,6.02054919908467,75.6151258581236,70.81818181818181,8.96267942583732,29.9165799875182,9.414487439383343,2.7174079051383404,1030,42,197,23,19,352,136,253,0.09,0.758,0.151,0.9477,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,5,1,15,12,2,1,13,0,19,3,3,1,1,40,40,20,0,0,5,1,5,6,1,1,0,1,0,1,14,12,0,0,12,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,9,9,38,9,23,28,7,22,0,1,2,0,11,6,0,7,20,137,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.09972824648106972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503499649715204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097582623456878,0.0,0.0,0.096016209966077,0.07858217346461675,0.0,0.06229754092116568,0.0,0.08696100071528996,0.1151395407988208,0.1072480662475108,0.0,0.11157121937482432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107150231181128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677273939578408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537138120455046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349985719883537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996698956992918,0.0963409964667268,0.0,0.20669283553012974,0.21902585296854096,0.09812388385218193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895613258577426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074261316253326,0.0,0.0,0.2017941622466088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561640757298749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995658970022719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581863660918111,0.0,0.0,0.1737662333660213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881961229850823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635046451777566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708496202185207,0.08923333011485772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654691725667537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576778904467755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143672948285964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453732654545561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597702163353073,0.0,0.2021482908508196,0.0,0.1446692634299956,0.10892700245123746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789427197889097,0.0,0.20081348292268456,0.24339587513863226,0.17877337696612305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938416169289947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255410873333972,0.16864428555143535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473642368433276,0.3688628401180608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bobizx3,2018/01/10,"Conducting interviews about mental health, anyone interested? In an attempt to diminish stigma around mental health I am collecting interviews and personal stories about mental health.  My goal is to provide examples of the myriad of ways mental health presents itself to different people.  Would anyone be interested in being interviewed about their experience or have a short story they want to share with me?  ",11.331923076923086,13.134584000000006,10.353653846153849,49.77509615384616,55.153846153846146,14.5,40.865384615384606,13.427899808715575,6.992923076923077,340,16,38,13,4,108,49,65,0.0,0.8640000000000001,0.136,0.8053,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,13,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,1,30,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21617256572461424,0.0,0.0,0.13760942189891562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150372632982404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120939499053165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6572473907290105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6231231629082851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071666582602988,0.1349737340066585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117558654638848,0.12269880927393595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980955520465847,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blindofthesouth,2018/01/10,"My father committed suicide over a year ago. I want to know why. I'll try to make this as brief as possible and just stick to the facts. Around late February/ early March 2016 my father began behaving strangely. He called me one night to tell me he wanted me to quit my job and come work for him (he did not own his own business, he was a systems administrator for a large company). I was confused and asked him what he meant. He said he wanted to start his own business selling sports collectibles, detailing cars, painting houses, working on computers and basically doing anything anyone would hire him for. I asked him why he wanted to do all of that, and if he was still working at his job. He told me that he was but that was going to change soon because he wanted to work for himself, and he wanted me to work for him too. He also offered me $5,000 to quit smoking. My parents have always hated the fact that I smoke and have asked me to quit numerous times, but my father was never one to ""bribe"" anyone to do the right thing, and he definitely didn't have that kind of money laying around like it was pocket change. I told my dad that he didn't have to pay me to quit smoking, that I would never take his money like that and that one day when I'm ready I will quit smoking for my health. I kept asking my father if he was okay, he seemed overly excited and more enthusiastic than he normally did, and the things he was saying were just bizarre. He said he was fine, I talked to my mom for awhile and she said he was fine too, just ""worked up"" about his idea of working for himself. My dad was 65, almost retirement age, and he had worked for the same company for 20 years. He had previously talked about how much he couldn't wait to retire and enjoy the rest of his years relaxing. My dad was rarely sick, never missed a day of work, he normally didn't even get headaches. A few weeks after the odd phone conversation my mom called me and told me that he had tried to kill himself, but a friend had found him before he was successful, and that he was now in a mental hospital a few hours away. He had been there for a day or so already, she said she hadn't told me sooner because she didn't want me to worry about it and that my dad didn't want me to know either. I was in total shock. When my mom and I visited him at the mental hospital he seemed like a completely different person, he was laughing and joking about things in such a fervent way it was alarming, he introduced me to other patients as his wife, and put his arm around me and almost grabbed my ass ( my father never, ever touched me or abused me sexually or physically, I could tell he was so confused he really just thought I was my mom.) Once we sat down together he started telling us this story about how years ago at work his female boss had sexually harassed him and instead of filing charges, he had chosen to work under someone else. Recently that had changed and he had to work for her again and she didn't like him because of what had previously happened and that she had made trouble for him and he was going to lose his job. However, he had a sheet from his company that basically said he had to have a mental health evaluation completed to return to his job. I asked him why his company gave him that and he said it was because he and the security guards had played a practical joke and someone blew it out of proportion. None of that made sense. My head was swimming, my father is one of the most level headed, intelligent people I've ever known and the way he was behaving and the things he was saying weren't like him at all. I went to the nurses station to ask what medicine they were giving him and they told me he wasn't taking anything, the way he was talking and acting was just how he had been since he got there. He was in the mental hospital for about a week or two then he was released. They prescribed him an antidepressant but never diagnosed what was wrong with him. My dad wasn't allowed to return to work yet, my mother had always been a housewife (and she obviously needed to be home to look after my dad) so I took a second job to help support them. They didn't ask me to and even told me they didn't want me to, but all I could think about was the long term care costs of whatever mental disorder my father had, I didn't want him to worry about anything, I just wanted him to get better. Admittedly it was also easier for me to go to work then to sit there and watch him suffer without being able to help. I offered to go for walks, take him anywhere he wanted to go, play checkers, just talk to him or listen, but it was like he lost interest in everything. He didn't want to leave the house, it was like he was afraid to, he kept saying he felt like a burden. I told him over and over that he wasn't a burden and never could be, that I loved him and that I just wanted him to get better. He went to therapy and took his antidepressants and eventually seemed to be more stable and would leave the house occasionally but he was never the same. Once he completed therapy his doctor signed off on his mental health evaluation. At that point he was expecting to return to work but they said they still had some concerns. They kept putting him off each time he would call but finally they met with him. They told him he could either resign and have a severance package, keep his insurance for 6 months and they would hire a headhunter to find him another job in the same field, or they could just let him go and he would have nothing (we live in an at will employment state.) He took the first option with the severance package for obvious reasons but his spirit seemed broken. This was towards the end of June. He started becoming less like himself again, afraid to leave the house, he started saying he wanted to die, trying to choke himself with his own shirt, etc. We took him to his primary doctor and we all talked, his doctor wanted to run some tests and scans so we made an appointment for the following week, the soonest they were able to get him in. The next day I was at work and my mom called me saying she needed help with dad, I could hear him in the background telling her to call the police and tell them he had a gun so they would come and shoot him. I went over there immediately and drove him to the ER. My mom had to sit in the backseat with him to keep him from jumping out of the car. When we got to the hospital he tried to reach for a security guards gun, fortunately they didn't shoot him or hurt him due to his mental state. The next day he was transferred to a mental hospital. They told my mom before they even talked to him, before he even walked in the building, that he would be out in one week. He was released one week later and he killed himself the very next day. That was July 28th, 2016. Almost a year and a half later I am still asking myself what happened to my father. Mental illness runs in his family. His mother was schizophrenic, she killed herself. My cousin died of a drug overdose (no one knows if it was accidental or on purpose) and my uncle (my dad's brother) killed himself after that. My dad had a really hard life growing up, his father was an abusive alcoholic and his mom was mentally ill and suicidal, but he rose up out of that and went to college and married my mom and raised a family. He was the strongest man I have ever known and my hero; nothing will ever change that. I just want to know why he died. Was it possible he was schizophrenic and none of us knew? He never behaved strangely before this. I know him losing his job made him feel like a burden, but since the company he worked for ordered him to have a mental health evaluation prior to that happening, it makes me think that he was already behaving in an unusual manner. I'm lost without him, I feel like I failed him. I feel like maybe if I had just quit working and moved in with my parents and watched him maybe he would still be here. Knowing why he died won't bring him back, but I would still like to know. I appreciate any help. 

TL;DR: My father killed himself after appearing ""normal"" his entire life and I want to know why. ",5.418701102495909,5.704748098887517,5.887647675768815,81.96050561236595,67.70210135970333,8.885952229339127,28.457154986203193,8.725247348981721,1.955768081307512,6416,196,1291,95,99,2071,489,1618,0.112,0.778,0.11,-0.9764,13,0,3,4,1,1,153.0,8,0,19,34,63,63,7,5,74,1,138,23,5,12,22,252,270,107,11,45,41,35,7,13,1,14,17,14,1,2,53,87,1,10,28,7,5,35,32,27,1,11,141,25,218,36,186,101,29,174,1,9,4,2,306,49,1,26,94,861,271,39,0.04902458581374087,0.058086117629685935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345733734963635,0.026196186453150642,0.07363656165856906,0.0,0.05409984951901562,0.03920494356315357,0.0407923826747195,0.0,0.0,0.016669199739012038,0.02570327637904425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03427913027936394,0.0,0.060514585438924275,0.06546341278499858,0.1833254796128885,0.0,0.023030106081345026,0.018848440191840274,0.0,0.05976986496460428,0.02707190168259236,0.08343262339226347,0.0,0.0,0.0433582622115454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514895848279953,0.0,0.02499191627723895,0.0,0.10372302272567516,0.042230339745047286,0.07710201824089491,0.0,0.0,0.11742642781625348,0.0,0.0,0.09485040644120862,0.0,0.0,0.024879461320761343,0.10175956018150917,0.025610128912081486,0.028093211316738288,0.075268111394901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028426477634024668,0.0,0.020476875374964072,0.0,0.021710615881492003,0.0,0.027337686123162355,0.06476055313619054,0.08869108915807021,0.0,0.0,0.022030068302924317,0.0,0.04621601642879046,0.0,0.03718245541712183,0.05253476085136784,0.02353564523144298,0.026852018728064968,0.022403791639251082,0.02085014382447336,0.0,0.02687646396319699,0.01893813669447651,0.0,0.05122664534503873,0.023514424940601384,0.08358540566991708,0.0,0.03920943975639294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650284189933651,0.0,0.02195819973955481,0.024200814449859453,0.05031336863824781,0.10422168445404367,0.02762713560522748,0.0,0.06572029295406624,0.0,0.02458782839579107,0.0,0.024139670887871875,0.11313557972433945,0.02624091653210531,0.02767139504530949,0.0,0.0,0.17027267880857652,0.04357530441490627,0.13559610151556528,0.02552578100924548,0.10777052103820403,0.0,0.027650934079276875,0.07786493667805615,0.0,0.025065480255930202,0.03462751478949252,0.1556810859572389,0.0,0.021644803722790863,0.021692607865706617,0.02058415246304886,0.05484597152218011,0.05351612661641587,0.0,0.022123301372261543,0.09277649692371302,0.032724291712819716,0.0,0.049251785802098914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27172888487034896,0.0,0.0,0.2583765107637753,0.019565478337348518,0.02605268810840608,0.018019355707119992,0.03635110919261758,0.15124313139762208,0.0,0.0782073047770701,0.023003126384837425,0.07205052778847611,0.047040412288675455,0.0,0.0,0.0522095839022392,0.11627114839775413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443600087758047,0.0,0.0,0.016993737516113352,0.02140318868306626,0.0,0.0,0.0231720398702489,0.055267854425618115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928324942426998,0.0,0.15643104470538272,0.0,0.0,0.031406405018546794,0.02520271962488143,0.024202932060484145,0.0,0.0,0.020933364209574357,0.1632176266911982,0.09746579585469996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926028338030965,0.0,0.05538382767596674,0.0,0.040553643991217685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041538372469188505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939970833424837,0.0,0.09787774389623152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362493986797464,0.027816259506903557,0.0,0.0,0.05529058102042441,0.11821231517633872,0.10712412211824496,0.0,0.05606388641303188,0.0,0.06513951286108803,0.03141297506343086,0.0,0.0194600225183676,0.028586630233268,0.0,0.0,0.2108029169137481,0.10893623737502672,0.06656895141840011,0.0,0.023944948394547597,0.0,0.05897054049588815,0.0,0.0,0.020225208783154418,0.2602437380654801,0.05837015146846405,0.09831141405588084,0.0,0.0,0.0908925644112913,0.1327111902311046,0.0,0.0,0.04725795127802173,0.0,0.3212143411716214,0.04978684660387949,0.0,0.17412829588999465,0.02680034428945637,0.0,0.07892556482466498
mentalhealth,secretfishes,2018/01/10,"Best books on depression? Specifically... I am looking for books that are more ""dry"", as in not self-help books, nor an individual's account of their own depression. 

Most specifically I am really interested in books that goes into as much detail as possible of the research into the ""physical "" manifestations of depression. 

Thanks!",8.138636363636365,10.377585000000003,9.08159090909091,54.44238636363639,62.63636363636364,13.5,37.38636363636364,12.602617957971056,6.100363636363636,265,13,38,11,4,90,39,55,0.171,0.677,0.152,-0.318,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,3,12,5,5,5,0,3,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,30,5,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900602718891514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.714177725307402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852622351698757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321028055701014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318266791387196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31159466227850435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770661855221199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883410315417527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25446805808532497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,medusaFourze,2018/01/10,"I feel like I can't tell what I really like anymore This might sound trivial, but it's bugging me a lot... As I said in the title, I feel like I can't tell what I like or that I'm maybe not feeling enough to form much of an opinion at all about things... For instance when I need to choose colors for things I can't seem to ever get past struggling with uncertainty and settle on anything. I don't have any idea what to do to get better about this...",7.692812499999999,4.3421009895833365,7.782500000000002,82.01250000000003,65.14583333333334,10.433333333333334,33.375,7.1686216300943375,1.9978,349,9,81,2,4,114,64,96,0.101,0.7509999999999999,0.149,0.6646,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,0,2,17,16,5,0,1,3,0,3,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,9,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,6,11,5,15,14,5,6,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,5,7,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797647285457986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866351070251992,0.0,0.0,0.15486532691000174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664398277606357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944518216018608,0.0,0.0,0.17022971920956798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854653835132427,0.26888766912555645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196644274772458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124449639040856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677628677287556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599934328388209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18906336019210326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964112905644069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834218934411402,0.1395413940579074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796497995960496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205601049314144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901293145164746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713222052027757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967383083159207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32897481633149617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500517490326044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Imagayboyyasss,2018/01/10,"Have your ever stopped your meds thinking the didn't have a benefit then realize they actually helped? I'm on 40mg Prozac which I don't thinks doing much of anything but make me chubbier. Around 3-4 months ago I was also prescribed Vistaril (hydroxyzine pamoate) to take once a day as needed. I didn't think the vistaril did anything at all tell I went cold turkey completely. My physiatrist took me off it after I said I didn't really feel different after I took it. Then I stopped for a few days and I had a panic attack today and the days prior on for no reason I was just minding my own business tell bam my stomach dropped and I feel faint. I didn't think it did anything tell I stopped taking it idk that seems odd. I still have 40 days worth so I'm not too desperate but, it feels awkward after shaming the drug to then ask my physiatrist to write me another prescription. Am I alone here? Anyone else have this problem?",4.058222049689442,5.5632610489130485,4.927018633540374,83.14717391304347,71.66304347826087,8.300621118012423,29.447204968944106,8.841846274778883,2.3680835403726705,739,30,143,14,14,240,113,184,0.183,0.79,0.027000000000000003,-0.978,1,1,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,1,0,8,6,1,3,8,0,16,4,1,2,2,28,35,11,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,4,0,3,10,0,1,3,7,5,0,0,13,5,25,1,15,22,4,28,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,1,19,93,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.11665013672122572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596167324999198,0.0,0.0,0.12380350478780955,0.0,0.09559309596444976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534418071765802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835825253796011,0.12247901429969887,0.2951044458867048,0.10641260568642748,0.11175025757360114,0.1359897412263447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533148388768758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30836396913723585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488993929099335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862409979105322,0.0,0.09985719834631822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812738173467483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132335903798424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801226286813772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979137511148594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277782626851678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069753657929808,0.0,0.09541269433430986,0.0,0.08787289779175593,0.08863461476143926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730220504440098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025003389032456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438004755876766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657798267201042,0.12290317376866132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370634730758293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882131256282784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546180368793963,0.29981297252064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179752767110491,0.0,0.3134398539080498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063760094366904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330638802480965,0.0,0.2656183441922895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081130136340132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MisesBaybee,2018/01/10,"no one fucking cares about me at all I've fucking had it with everyone, I don't know what to fucking do anymore. It's so fucking pathetic, I can't find one fucking person that would think of my suicide as anything more than an inconvenience",9.60625,6.730790458333335,9.503333333333334,69.67500000000003,61.08333333333334,12.1,46.91666666666667,10.125756701596842,4.866966666666666,194,11,36,3,2,64,38,48,0.254,0.685,0.061,-0.8871,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,1,6,13,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,4,1,7,11,2,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,5,0,0,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786156707119908,0.0,0.0,0.14821099136684335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362895461021492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720979555159857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461262083242115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8325204152239545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898094596124901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440874903567309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726065658982935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970055345047696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540395118376715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794135746788932,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,randothrowo12345,2018/01/10,"Is there anything wrong with me? Hey guys I smoke weed occasionally and am wondering if something is wrong with me. A few days ago I smoked weed and had a panic attack. I smoked weed last night and I kept thinking that I've been acting weird/odd around my friends. I was considering asking my friends if I have been acting weird but that'll make me seem odd. Another thing is that I feel really empty when Im alone and can't stop thinking about this girl that I have a crush on. 
Do I have any mental health problems and if so what should I do?",4.744517374517372,5.11113266666667,5.0519433719433735,87.08594594594597,69.18018018018017,8.144658944658946,25.76705276705277,7.957251820313856,1.164062033462033,430,11,94,5,7,136,70,111,0.214,0.727,0.058,-0.9339,0,1,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,1,1,3,0,16,1,0,1,0,22,24,11,0,5,4,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,7,8,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,5,1,15,2,5,17,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,5,6,58,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386044803945313,0.0,0.0,0.1914512780061879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257059315768919,0.19383379840630424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521177272193043,0.16455777556178774,0.17281198675801354,0.21029622544319174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921446828902213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346689842557444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856329221298043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303288125675504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19648939571086046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967225043527054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067933083519974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233903738439988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628768323824504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347140094671112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688439495097167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687872666502125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184211438506522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828262980254224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230836412104245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545448352486451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228076823553816,0.2368918337878343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046447988115054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042140352548469,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,potatoschnitzle,2018/01/10,"Insomnia? 25 y/o, I've never had it before, but for the last 5 days, I can't fall asleep. Normally I sleep 8+ hours, but for the last 5 days I have been unable to fall asleep until late(currently 4AM) and I'm eating a snack because I got hungry since dinner was 10 hours ago.

I'm healthy and I exercise, but lately, I started working on a project and it's going well, could I just be excited? I'm honestly feeling like I'm 5 years old and every morning is Christmas morning.",1.7206060606060625,3.54403641414142,3.9565656565656586,86.28818181818184,78.79797979797979,6.824242424242425,26.15151515151515,7.793537801064563,1.5917757575757585,371,15,76,6,9,128,68,99,0.0,0.794,0.206,0.9563,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,8,8,3,0,1,12,16,8,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,1,7,4,5,10,0,17,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,14,36,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341331528985113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925362976737322,0.0,0.16646588019621342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561938473621287,0.0,0.0,0.2523290571198556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001773178018737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482587976442625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891590630788516,0.13975740504453485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118047561948886,0.0,0.1564623917040488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38531034011514703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189275095781129,0.44135609238734497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557445351186301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088115396639512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916748954905424,0.0,0.0,0.20527973943365155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182634004980653,0.0,0.19577029262918005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384672213758102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758939756150078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242025044536724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597866958348053
mentalhealth,kyonlion,2018/01/10,"I've been feeling good and recovering for almost a month, today I had a random anxiety attack. I don't know what to think, it really unnerved me. I had hoped I was past this, but apparently not. Consciously I know that progress and getting well is not linear, and that I have nothing to worry about, but how do I get myself to believe that?",5.714701492537312,5.864436253731348,6.9693656716417935,74.92927238805972,67.05970149253731,9.685074626865672,31.67537313432836,9.516144504307137,2.8651522388059703,267,10,50,5,4,91,48,67,0.052000000000000005,0.7290000000000001,0.22,0.8767,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,16,15,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,4,1,9,3,5,11,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,39,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636473240473559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141645113115697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29953086331594714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966381426184608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331275476669884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511675574488353,0.0,0.0,0.2208355131024793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615067955946889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893950590875257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015590181680494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25263425958490043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25134049843187234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867058539778546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870587034415324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24956853302481405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367297080627001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26738420257991896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lrob976,2018/01/10,"What to talk about at a medication review I have a medication review tomorrow. I've been on sertraline for about six months and various other beforehand. Unsurprisingly, due to the current state of the NHS, I have never had a proper medication review and don't know what to expect -

As the title reads what should I talk about ? Like how I'm feeling? How can I get the best out of this review?",4.413599999999999,6.292393760000002,6.119666666666667,73.45150000000002,71.4,9.266666666666666,25.833333333333336,9.725611199111238,2.566733333333333,312,10,56,8,6,107,49,75,0.0,0.8759999999999999,0.124,0.8290000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,7,0,7,3,0,2,1,10,11,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,4,2,13,8,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,44,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613740600532916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593267994631824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012404628588015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687736307318876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167858046703516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7527079952994349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879804282527336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920911285313324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912831022512685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003714516917049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,my0cardialinfarcti0n,2018/01/10,How to forgive yourself for being toxic/emotionally abusive? I was very toxic and emotionally abusive to my ex boyfriend. I loved him very much and didn’t want to be that way. We broke up. I'm in therapy now. I feel guilty and ashamed. I don’t know how or if I will ever forgive myself for the things I have said and done. I’d love feedback or to hear a similar story.,1.2303947368421078,3.4436525657894776,3.3307894736842094,88.10302631578949,82.55263157894737,5.905263157894738,25.28947368421053,7.1686216300943375,1.1981368421052632,289,12,60,4,8,98,54,76,0.202,0.638,0.161,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,8,2,0,2,1,16,16,9,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,3,10,4,8,9,1,5,0,1,0,2,9,2,0,3,2,42,12,1,0.0,0.4785127387212466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664651897210404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542925835279002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18265903155967173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021028735727528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275920109820592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097653208675456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645029814761136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844323568631196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208354949679066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23092681113487096,0.0,0.13415463096038058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332300536157751,0.1191047103072012,0.16028420202348062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snottygurl,2018/01/10,"Problems with my boyfriend and mental illness I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 9ish month. I love him so much, I feel happy in the relationship, and see a future with him. Since a little before Christmas we have been fighting so much more than usual. He lives with me (basically when we started dating he didn't have a place to stay so he ended up just living with me, and yes I know that probably wasn't the smartest idea) and so whenever there is a problem he just leaves and never tells me when he is coming back and avoids all communication. I know that its sometimes is hard to communicate with me especially when I'm upset but its been since Saturday and he still ""doesn't know"" when he will be ready to talk. I feel like he is going to break up with me at this point and if thats the case I'd rather he just do it then keep stringing me along this emotional rollercoaster. The fights usually consist of him wanting more space, etc and I'm the opposite. He said a lot of hurtful stuff when we last spoke on Saturday. Things like he is unsure about the relationship, feels like I don't let him be independent, needs space to do what he wants to do. Im totally fine with him hanging out with friends and doing his own thing but the problem I have is he doesn't ever talk to me about it and will just leave for days at a time. Before he left he said several times that he still wants to be with me but he needs time....
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On top of all of this he has huge commitment issues in the past including with his family as well As dealing with depression, bi polar disorder I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and self hard issues. It effects our ability to communicate effectively 
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I can't believe we are on such different pages and it was also so unexpected. I feel like he drops these bombs on me and Im left to pick up the pieces and wait around for him. We used to “share our locations” on your phones but he disconnected it a day or so ago. It makes me feel like he just wants nothing to do with me and I want to jus crawl in a hole forever.
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I guess Im asking a few things here: what do i do so i dont go completely insane in the meantime, and what can i do to help fix this communication problem. Im at a point where I need to talk to him about so many things but I cant if he continues to avoid me. I have been such a mess since Saturday, not being abkut to eat normally, crying, and havinf SH thoughts. I feel like a mess and any advice or help is really appreciated!
  
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TL;DR Boyfriend and I have communication issues and he now left for two days and wont respond to any calls or texts. Any one know what I can do to help myself not go crazy(I struggle with depression, SH, anxiety)  and fix these issues. ",3.4609394409937906,4.817627769927539,4.713250517598343,84.67978260869567,72.93115942028986,8.373084886128366,25.642857142857146,8.909455092898707,1.7497683229813663,2147,69,456,43,42,710,242,552,0.119,0.746,0.136,0.9098,1,2,0,0,3,0,56.0,7,1,0,3,36,29,2,5,23,1,46,4,0,6,6,108,83,50,0,16,18,0,8,6,1,3,1,3,0,2,28,47,1,4,14,0,0,5,12,17,1,2,11,12,51,12,69,64,13,70,0,4,1,2,65,30,0,7,38,299,79,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127495208292885,0.05558451822912948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014545374985652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792538520759622,0.0,0.09593885756002213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05582106472244523,0.05862104701343245,0.0,0.0,0.048216551281311734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067152858109971,0.07064746785010677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640291834557319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054015115341634126,0.0657453769572249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887889356054734,0.12131930917566487,0.0646464727932277,0.16202410409577495,0.0,0.0,0.06551375506101324,0.07186577511579148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349021493342905,0.0,0.0,0.0641632377065089,0.0,0.07053509010711669,0.05553833703714101,0.0,0.06993305183102083,0.0,0.05672058808395165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059113032788819665,0.0,0.19023428465564715,0.22398360862225025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048446005600878535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069107034277968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907702352226151,0.062088164938354236,0.0,0.06675102173830906,0.1123433719725918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609024313909994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671273848000758,0.07078671893524648,0.2709301964437041,0.26179241797025976,0.0,0.05573540511934959,0.0,0.0,0.13784490391151313,0.05111323758583655,0.0,0.13279184463511215,0.20438867139190045,0.06412047903433256,0.0,0.1838080292020163,0.06284724402503546,0.11073996341890154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330985472058557,0.056594035595017286,0.0,0.04185631472568346,0.06357339306065063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631922544379068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005082012062514,0.0,0.092191309165697,0.1394856897450738,0.048362239307052815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143793920699045,0.060167484108124426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04249077477421569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985936139451295,0.0,0.0,0.06551375506101324,0.0,0.11855366675701247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676069837290513,0.24000224396530084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040170659288665464,0.0,0.0,0.20196626949341925,0.0,0.0,0.11929431351607216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996805344230704,0.0,0.06541536602740622,0.07083920844679867,0.0,0.15561156535327836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062017204427584335,0.0,0.044383176561938825,0.06683557056327183,0.10015316301695457,0.0,0.0,0.1311065141637572,0.07178263509220954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512005794317673,0.05480724850447751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663461964698853,0.0,0.0,0.04978105159590617,0.10969199906517736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125402529031995,0.0,0.0,0.05415729805690663,0.1381221902218578,0.0,0.1849262298860425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637964926525251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phil24jones,2018/01/10,"My girlfriend has been talking about killing herself I've been with my girlfriend for two years now and have been aware that she's struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time. 

Last April we were in a nasty car accident together (neither of us driving) which caused her to lose her job and therefore her home which she lived with her mum. We moved in together after this quite abruptly. On my salary alone we couldn't afford the rent on this new place and took the decision to move to my Mum's house. This has had its ups and downs but to me seems to be working okay. It's not ideal but it's not shitty.

However I've noticed her mood drop recently, especially after Christmas. 

We took our dogs for a walk a few days after new year and she said she was cold. I said do you want to back to the car? And she said yes. I returned to the car 20 minutes later to find her not there and spent 30 mins calling for her in dense woodland before I eventually found her. When I got her in the car she broke down and said I just want to die. 

Since then she has been her usual funny, sarcastic self and it's gone back to normal but she doesn't want to address what happened and I don't want to force the subject. But she did mention it to her GP today and we have a mental health crisis team coming tomorrow. 

Any thoughts on what to do/say to her or the crisis team would be appreciated. Thanks.

UK based where mental healthcare is a bit crap btw",3.0416894977168925,4.722947438356165,3.7029452054794514,90.18446347031966,74.61643835616438,6.6474885844748846,24.495433789954337,7.333567415737692,0.9209105022831046,1140,36,241,13,24,360,164,292,0.152,0.762,0.087,-0.9667,5,1,0,0,0,1,21.0,7,1,0,6,8,10,2,1,13,2,21,2,1,2,0,45,40,19,2,8,9,2,0,0,2,1,1,4,3,1,13,21,0,0,5,2,2,12,7,6,0,1,19,5,41,3,38,17,3,50,0,3,0,0,44,12,1,2,25,157,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519534867312005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563667774425302,0.0,0.08508666720811596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105001068954076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464411231016116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142867412099435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357295600266698,0.0,0.0,0.11425850740288075,0.0,0.09581031628203936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173079430156977,0.0,0.0957977568596427,0.0,0.11543378178546422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165745176725913,0.0,0.0,0.12195225178877392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088956632766426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835572290268677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822676079891015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156754264879112,0.0,0.0,0.12833848533520367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103734512697327,0.0,0.12305376135972433,0.0,0.0,0.09066305659674016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982135357216238,0.09843044754757647,0.0,0.1244321004770528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417687515717485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23642871951618175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21484320895174536,0.0,0.0,0.10897668828268356,0.0,0.12663017146286826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620624252155565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830126523597526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982107128037738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423201018319916,0.08845042482628529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101254880184748,0.11603172314176813,0.0,0.0,0.09200630354018104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627630996636165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939828074518727,0.0,0.10240085188813748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830006689960718,0.06485607505462536,0.0,0.10542810478411427,0.0,0.2471496895475649,0.0,0.0,0.10865046754959024,0.0,0.13378973909146624,0.0,0.12249840296577105,0.0,0.26241307400219777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097297874197783,0.0,0.0,0.07901090639380665,0.0,0.0,0.14325024850365498
mentalhealth,stolenkisses,2018/01/10,"Ever since that guy said he killed his girlfriend in his sleep from cough medicine, I’ve been terrified I’m gonna do the same thing. Can someone talk me down from this? It’s hard to even go to sleep out of this completely irrational fear.",5.3118750000000015,5.746898104166667,4.662500000000001,90.1325,67.95833333333334,8.9,28.5,8.841846274778883,1.7695749999999997,191,6,42,3,3,57,42,48,0.292,0.708,0.0,-0.9439,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,3,3,2,0,1,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,8,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767787567793608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743567723095426,0.23878566950622926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29705169489419786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002632352590972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613824104093317,0.0,0.0,0.2364748691547218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920555486707106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511061105278013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21836757499057166,0.0,0.5283427165623492,0.0,0.22367000280211952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217769895654312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537705690052632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,starlightsymphonies,2018/01/10,"How to weigh out putting a price on your mental health? For the past few years, I've been sticking pretty strictly to a personal rule against putting a price on my mental health & wellbeing. For example, Bath & Body Works sells these ""Stress Relief"" candles for $22 (which, if you're not familiar, is hella pricey for one candle). I'm usually a pretty frugal person, but they genuinely help me calm down when I'm anxious, so I buy them anyways.

Ever since i've been single and living alone, I've been having some pretty sever issues with loneliness. Everyone's been recommending I get a cat, which seems like a good idea to me. I genuinely feel happier around cats, and would love to have a little fluffy companion to keep me company.

However, if my landlord finds out (she's honestly sort of unlikely to), I'd be facing an $800 fine, so I'm skeptical about it. This feels partially like a valid concern, but also a lot like a huge step back on what has been one of my biggest self-care rules, so I don't know what to do.

**TLDR: I strongly feel that getting a cat would help me feel less lonely, which is a huge contributing factor to my depression. But there's an $800 fine for having one at my apartment, and I don't know what to do.**

Thoughts? Has anyone tried to navigate something similar?",5.539649209486168,6.1263538814229275,6.154740612648222,79.09993700592888,67.49802371541502,9.803260869565216,30.832262845849804,9.827888789773867,2.879166205533597,1024,38,195,22,16,334,154,253,0.079,0.696,0.225,0.9907,1,4,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,2,2,12,15,1,1,15,0,19,6,2,1,1,31,34,14,0,4,6,0,4,3,1,2,2,0,2,2,10,7,1,1,10,1,4,3,3,4,0,3,6,4,19,11,28,25,5,22,0,2,0,1,10,13,0,6,9,118,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214719405315567,0.0,0.0937928121511824,0.0,0.25415660545631946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249872269443874,0.0,0.08200843400830728,0.0,0.0,0.10440856041922407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018496391447778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027725058383624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101744174872566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609104246619556,0.0,0.11207089146331732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23721138130722674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719641094800147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255319577855756,0.0,0.0,0.09837313543055504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24933704741422225,0.0,0.0,0.15722739357173007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240054552126007,0.0,0.12241512063971832,0.0,0.1042483414071044,0.0,0.0,0.12891359247703818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189865347337788,0.11755043203844852,0.10356484795600801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997115553995563,0.10585433678433864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23639148942475266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384261558248009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196185135290272,0.0,0.20481756361703796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35796318191283194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358077392971819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677190464723713,0.12235388612126988,0.13249872269443874,0.0,0.09701940539174828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029176155771428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434962856762514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311122887259758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962885019116908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291729127231764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538491329471258,0.0,0.0,0.16663186896629278,0.0,0.0,0.07552772689088211
mentalhealth,Bovoduch,2018/01/11,"Advice needed: Girlfriend revealed some days she feels suicidal. She told me today that she sometimes, just random days, wakes up feeling suicidal and profoundly depressed. It felt like someone shot a shotgun in my heart when she revealed that, and I'm going to fucking do everything i can to get ways to help her feel happier, and that's why I'm asking you guys. 

How can I help this? 

Sometimes she says it will just randomly happen throughout the day, she can be """"fine"""" and then at some random point start feeling the suicidal thoughts. 

She has a history of depression and extremely severe anxiety; abandoned by her father, abused by a past ex of her mother, and currently living with a mother with anger issues and alcoholic addictions and her boyfriend with the same deal. 

I just want to help her and I truly have no words. Can someone point me in the right direction? The things to say and so? It's not safe, not the time, to tell someone, she couldn't handle being taken into care like that for her mothers response would be abusive. I want tips tricks what can I do to help her? God I can't lose her and it'll drive me insane daily if I can't help her. What can I do please?

If this is too vague please ask questions so I can clarify. I'm desperate. ",4.2844541104828195,6.027351264462816,4.785632883862551,83.43768377555463,71.47933884297521,7.904654197477164,28.43932144410613,8.532816995589336,2.1507157024793395,994,38,185,17,19,316,137,242,0.191,0.657,0.152,-0.9517,1,0,1,1,1,0,31.0,0,1,0,1,8,12,3,0,10,0,22,5,2,1,0,46,44,18,3,7,7,5,5,2,1,3,2,2,0,1,13,15,1,2,9,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,4,7,32,5,20,33,3,21,0,4,0,1,38,8,1,8,12,124,45,0,0.0,0.2468463406878433,0.0,0.1135595299669314,0.0,0.10179269103629086,0.0,0.11132492633027867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968896061122188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476781046801228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620718566772523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154106263422505,0.10739361203777004,0.17944112570208434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362033421391737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106838015012992,0.0,0.10001852659782247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630251449129976,0.05442397626638006,0.0,0.05920161410473063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314363660418008,0.09211625728752068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234407057303964,0.3491112525386218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872531847117688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178337308871896,0.0,0.091983090141093,0.0,0.0,0.1165384081789684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772399555204219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944104846976956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286924485875921,0.19694665374986176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669306269662635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895971299652576,0.0,0.16567865803904402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768126148709528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647860365066185,0.0,0.2060515076596967,0.0,0.07373131802476372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418317676283321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104825257170282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920522080017015,0.0,0.0,0.0826985094611847,0.06074175167520856,0.0,0.0987399831857051,0.0995378945184358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288308970242612,0.0826844627904792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399627373309538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399863238352844,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rekreid,2018/01/11,"Struggling with Motivation and Focus I've always had a hard time motivating myself and staying focused -especially in school - and it really and to a head this semester. I just got my scores back and I'll summarize by saying I didn't do great. I feel like a failure and I feel like I've let my parents and friends down. 


I've always had small problems with mental health - minor anxiety and I was diagnosed with some form of executive functioning disorder when I was in grade 6. I don't really know where to go from here - I've never been to therapy, I've never been medicated, and I've never had any official diagnoses. The thought of even going to counseling or seeking out a diagnosis (ADHD and anxiety run in the family) makes me anxious and worried. Everyone I know who has been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, or anxiety always tells me that it's nice to put a name to their experience - but I'm just worried it will make me feel like a failure. 


I'm not sure what I'm really looking for - maybe advice, a next step, or just someone who has experienced something similar to talk to. ",5.550362269309641,6.580674688995218,7.282860560492143,69.437523923445,67.66028708133972,11.33028024606972,34.06732740943267,11.20814326018867,4.317516473000683,866,40,152,28,14,302,120,209,0.14800000000000002,0.772,0.08,-0.8747,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,8,10,0,1,9,0,15,6,1,4,4,41,30,16,0,1,8,1,4,3,1,1,5,1,0,0,8,16,0,0,8,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,11,7,15,7,22,17,2,20,0,1,1,0,9,7,0,4,10,98,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593833715755446,0.10545233515065024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693793379519411,0.0,0.0,0.07338523674366547,0.0,0.2476617986015985,0.121912130438365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297922320108919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929461906091075,0.3285913878887537,0.0,0.0,0.12367882055811585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127619498774664,0.0,0.0,0.10311647433710124,0.0,0.10556062239738363,0.10173173757821126,0.0,0.16369371872785507,0.2312814005897787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337410712977797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266005326071586,0.0,0.08630870300195717,0.11897559225828618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666976889002288,0.0,0.11075092166086087,0.11470756105921047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861345061855867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034940077958004,0.0,0.15816402330726273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062060118778537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406689776436604,0.0,0.10841414158222656,0.0,0.0,0.108712025891996,0.10875195438574377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496898436317561,0.0,0.11476778861629675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982575271536072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325914671171173,0.0,0.10848340001688414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739746091345054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085817563112731,0.0,0.10921475338517846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143520220901208,0.08307748775751654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150219910002448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128151683686242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170769036321732,0.0,0.0,0.08673720465545849,0.09432161334303704,0.0,0.12340909106636455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856716808189202,0.06292553512518931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191838589704726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Smavie,2018/01/11,"Dealing a little *too* well with my Dad's soon departure Hey everyone (sorry for the long post and spelling and if the message is unclear at times)

My father was in a sudden accident yesterday and is a very unstable condition in the hospital. He was swimming in the ocean there was some kind of complication in which he has severely damaged his spinal cord and which brought on a subsequent heart attack. He was taken to hospital where he is in a deteriorating condition and it looks like he will pass away in the coming days. My brother and mother are with him in the hospital, but I am overseas in Germany as I teach English here.

I love my father very much, he is the best person I've ever known and we have had a great relationship these past years. He was probably the closest person ive ever been to. I would much rather anyone else I know pass away rather than him. He is a truly amazing dude.

What is the real shock is that I am not particularly upset about the whole situation? My mum and my brother are going to pieces. But I am managing to stay pretty rational about the sitauation. I am not underestimating the gravity of this situation as I know this is going to have massive consequences for my family and my life also.

I am trying to work out why this is... first and foremost, i have only talked with my family and friends about this so far... i am still overseas and i am thinking that it might not have hit me just yet and that it just might be this surreal situation that i havent really come to terms with. I think this is the most likely explanation, however:

I am somewhat of a paranoid person and have thought through this exact situation many times in my life and have always somewhat braced myself for if this were to happen unexpectedly - maybe I was kind of mentally prepared for this exact scenario?

Also, I tend to have somewhat narcasstic and sociopathic tendencies - mind you I have never been diagnosed or spoken to any professional about this - but I feel I have a lack of empathy for most people (including my family at times). Could this be a contributing factor?

Finally, I see myself as a practical kind of person and i kind of justify it to myself not to get upset about this kind of thing because it is out of my control and there is nothing i can do for my father so there is no point getting stressed out about it?

The whole situation is bizarre, i should be more upset about this than anything that has ever happened but im not even particularly sad... part of me cant even justify going home to see him because i would rather remember him with the good memories and i feel there is nothing positive i can achieve by going there... i think i would just make the situation worse being around my brother and mum... with whom i dont have nearly as good a relationship as i have with my father.... and i dont see any reason to grieve as i can be of more benefit to people around me and myself if i deal with this situation rationally 

i was 10 times more upset a few weeks ago when i got bedbugs! Is this because im a selfish person or because this situation with my father is out of my hands, i have mentally prepared myself for it and/or i havent seen him and it hasnt sunk in just yet?

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. sorry for the long message and spelling mistakes. Thankyou thankyou. xo",4.8413760190892825,6.303562028037383,6.132249618877179,75.42660668124877,69.68535825545172,9.264452840193544,30.48200437462716,9.637300506268012,2.9742546828395304,2650,108,482,61,47,892,261,642,0.075,0.815,0.11,0.9855,1,0,0,0,1,1,60.0,1,1,0,5,39,29,1,5,31,0,78,7,3,3,6,101,108,44,1,14,21,12,3,2,1,8,3,0,1,5,35,42,0,1,11,1,0,10,13,12,1,1,16,8,73,17,83,76,19,64,0,3,5,1,44,27,0,14,27,388,108,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050542964749755316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119445421085833,0.04744349482341513,0.0,0.0,0.11632246605958695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986827033195258,0.058421618991703936,0.046920907495669816,0.1015161126315854,0.0,0.06486613967406378,0.10714046564680177,0.0,0.0,0.13903043132618012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059836811729691484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823181553583964,0.0,0.0,0.0639504695689945,0.04552418658369744,0.0,0.0,0.036771855200481963,0.11756598778513135,0.0,0.05787201026197542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364920525246834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047631173623691986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531962503829114,0.15472797689610154,0.0,0.0544830864194998,0.0,0.0,0.16125432194160985,0.0,0.05765996869794151,0.0,0.0,0.062460367744721676,0.0,0.048499431793029714,0.0,0.0,0.04405192005547407,0.0,0.05957904206351877,0.0,0.12961844021502833,0.09564788802941572,0.045602456393514096,0.12572496328042318,0.0,0.0,0.1008415544796825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675665350420647,0.0,0.0,0.05719364414266859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317832199292306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29687705884517657,0.06267113884673252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054691640658454,0.05571217212188236,0.05714695639319184,0.0,0.10091816770691768,0.047880710406762825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146091820629161,0.0,0.03805991860924717,0.05780724321908235,0.057282185828138765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492134825552533,0.12097405062441202,0.057571866785429686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382949493576271,0.0,0.04397575142127634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942050503424944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336471373097922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061744874134856076,0.054430076742487864,0.0790581226210997,0.2489293355543405,0.0,0.0,0.05390038441237889,0.0,0.0546074266079539,0.05800774468286616,0.061474984479832864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489890008343584,0.0365271532629284,0.058623940042613225,0.0,0.1224318613031342,0.06459021257728076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363077513780568,0.0,0.0,0.06441404422483178,0.0,0.0,0.5127244403722107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765383444939685,0.0,0.0607735390110646,0.04553460162302562,0.0,0.06531385918415315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045828861463787236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037880186674411565,0.10960438361941297,0.0,0.045265876473839166,0.13299048053218518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03871143942734593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409154604746807,0.0,0.0,0.04573635328963903,0.0,0.051265976861950655,0.0,0.05144982350377801,0.12731699060031607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04150974039034935,0.0,0.058106153424659475,0.1620156384694215,0.0,0.0,0.036717684829081706
mentalhealth,uberbewb,2018/01/11,"Fear of persona? I've been doing some contemplations over my life and past. I was previously diagnosed with something called Anankastic personality disorder, bipolar, and add, and some other stuff..

I am mostly just curious if there is such an illness that may be described as awareness of persona, and possibly fear of it?

I'm not really sure if I'm afraid of persona, but I have lived in my mind for so long that I can perceive it directly.

Similarly to how mindfulness works for some, but it's not a temporary action that is ""controlled"". My mind is consistently nit-picking at everything. Especially aspects of self identity.

There is some form of perfectionism involved, or there was.


Other things:
I don't believe in time. Though my body seems to have an effective clock. I seem to be consciously unable to ""flow"" with time.

I've been practicing mindfulness and instead of self reflection it seems to be something deeper, that I don't understand and frankly none of the people I've gone to do either.

I've been following Eckart Tolle, and his introduction to the power of now has caused something to happen in me.

To put it without as much complication. I think that my ""mind"" has always been unsatisfied with this physical world because it can see through the facade. This has led me to understanding the meaning of the power of now.
In that I am seeking to destroy ""my"" persona. Let go of the past and be only in the now, without judgement.
This feels real to me. More real than anything ever has.

As I accept the nature of the power of now, it becomes revealed that not only is the power of now the only true living. But, it is the absolute pinnacle of what my obsessiveness has been ""looking"" for.
But, let's take back the current psychological knowhow and instead of saying obsessiveness. I am going to say that it wouldn't make sense for my mind to be seeking the one thing that inherently ""shouldn't"" make sense to the mind.


So, as I practice the method of breathing, which is to focus on the breathing as you go through-out everything in your day. That focus is helping align the awareness to realize directly the mind is a very good liar. So, good in fact it has billions of people fooled into focusing on tomorrow.
I never felt that made sense. At least not for me.
This breathing does this as it aligns you to your body, that which only exists in the now.

I seek destruction of persona. Where does this occur?

Edit: I decided to add this as well...
https://imgur.com/a/ea505

Also, I was once told... ""you're mind is like a beautifully organized toolbox with the key locked inside""
Looking at the triangle just makes everything feel more clear to me.",4.986400203665987,7.104519450101832,5.6355392057026465,76.52169984725053,70.38492871690428,8.738920570264765,31.21593686354379,9.321569398390272,3.0687241955193483,2114,93,363,47,40,684,227,491,0.07200000000000001,0.85,0.078,0.7353,6,0,4,0,0,0,83.0,0,4,0,7,24,16,3,5,27,0,45,9,5,9,6,83,72,29,0,4,16,0,3,1,0,3,4,2,0,3,38,16,0,1,18,0,0,9,12,9,1,2,12,8,34,7,75,50,12,44,0,0,3,0,14,17,0,12,19,278,72,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055624777887873546,0.05787706905235737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723955651314885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348510692357438,0.0,0.04240135504453302,0.07682033852036088,0.0,0.07836701861560325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452448778032252,0.0,0.0,0.07102556347049079,0.0,0.0,0.07145428942957407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801418839298199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485856723968007,0.0,0.0,0.07059897983059213,0.0,0.0,0.07971844862540922,0.0,0.12173975233242973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291836802550431,0.0,0.0,0.1875402760211924,0.0,0.0,0.15654212332424242,0.07034030697587856,0.0,0.06678571218131855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859268761775905,0.11668237006559025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061509102920124216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046622649671809145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422536695805253,0.04913022807625851,0.033982079576519886,0.0,0.12284036553374025,0.06155583376340965,0.11682087050300732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581659818338234,0.13928968843926764,0.0,0.0,0.07576805984313824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6320954705453172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051132462786308425,0.0,0.05364671407769837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407602828205041,0.04713368276393691,0.21160519817396786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328002214792707,0.09644425308720868,0.06073456602073701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841516521538003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992408491550904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834238752990235,0.044560051479200224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062917588133707,0.0,0.0,0.05542799329491914,0.18996648072864844,0.14512642457597988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606453330450455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962622400683449,0.0,0.0,0.06555673196462353,0.0,0.0522982734494244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242127663787017,0.04456937319361108,0.06833948548554276,0.0,0.08111859437965209,0.0,0.0,0.06646477808229809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448227626758586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739188194399938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254017529525012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341011007472273,0.0,0.05063838825237582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LowExtraordinariness,2018/01/11,"What therapy/skills help with being comfortable in life? Hi r/mentalhealth,

I have an issue where I am constantly unhappy in life.  I often get that feeling that ""the grass is greener on the other side"" - feeling unhappy in relationships and wanting to leave, then regretting leaving, or wanting to change career trajectories then regretting it.

This does not seem to be a commitment phobia issue, as I have had long relationships and have also done a lot of years of study in particular areas.  I suspect it has to do with me feeling quite empty/unhappy inside and blaming my current circumstances. 

I can see how pathological this issue is.  I do not know how to fix it.

Does anybody have any suggestions in terms of what type of therapy or approach may help?  I realise you aren't professionals, but I imagine some of you have had similar issues before and may have had therapy to conquer them.

For context, I have had quite a lot of therapy over the years.  I'm in my mid 30s, have been treated for PTSD/Depression/Anxiety/Eating Disorders over a number of years. CBT and DBT were helpful, as long as they occurred in a talk therapy type of context.  

I am undiagnosed, but likely have Asperger's syndrome as well.  As a result, I am very 'fact' based, rather than 'emotion' based (for example, understanding stuff about attachment theory was much more helpful to me in therapy than simply learning skills - I seemed not to be able to 'click' and learn the skills without that link in science/facts).  I mention this as it may impact your suggestions.

Thanks

TL;DR: What type of therapy/approach can help an inner unhappiness, and that feeling that 'the grass is always greener'?  Some context to do with the type of approach that tends to work for me in therapy is spelt out above, but usually fact-based is best.

ETA: I'm 35-ish, F.",6.3039952996474735,7.740927708708714,6.8174827000913965,71.97199764982376,66.2072072072072,10.355868912390653,35.19898159028593,10.472087959537523,4.084594046220134,1449,69,240,38,23,473,171,333,0.056,0.821,0.123,0.9701,1,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,3,2,7,8,8,0,0,14,0,38,3,0,3,2,51,54,23,0,5,10,0,4,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,18,11,0,0,13,0,0,2,5,2,1,0,8,6,24,6,52,40,8,32,0,2,2,0,17,19,0,12,12,177,42,9,0.08609410380197452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884942370549604,0.07163719121810122,0.0,0.0,0.05854694287795925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325974120510848,0.0,0.09035045035606998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910761461517122,0.0,0.0,0.09303714071922084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867130180041857,0.0,0.15068306083007044,0.08810415942380889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684427882765176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412706288262572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044980615833439166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28853531496321505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594395056754732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731506789423714,0.0,0.0,0.1823224498381052,0.0,0.0,0.1216216232409406,0.042061230336485636,0.0,0.0,0.15238114528259508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638825659630358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328907240899798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063940014229562,0.0,0.0,0.18314335385221772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848656953288361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860585408897835,0.15675367726582828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855715101939197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919917944933705,0.0,0.07926388367321803,0.5907366652386243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962699832950169,0.0,0.0,0.09482049205450674,0.07103665214058577,0.101561066087436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740893880418295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299164378984472,0.0,0.06267753294366489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632534042720168
mentalhealth,AmberStar91,2018/01/11,"Getting A Diagnosis In UK? Hello,

How does one go about getting a diagnosis in the UK? I've had a few private counsellors, and they all refuse to label my problems.  I've not asked my latest one because I don't want her to feel like I'm being ridiculous.

I'm certain I have PTSD, maybe even Complex PTSD.  I just wanted it labeled so that I can stop denying to myself that I'm struggling.  I keep telling myself it must be nothing if it doesn't have a label (and I know that's not true).

So, in the UK, do I go to my GP or do I need to man up and ask my counsellor if she can label me?

Thanks in advance. ",0.7977435897435932,2.4546075692307703,3.339615384615385,90.41455128205128,81.0,5.564102564102565,24.679487179487186,6.42735559955562,0.7115641025641026,464,18,104,4,12,162,76,130,0.135,0.804,0.06,-0.8088,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,6,7,1,1,6,0,12,0,0,1,4,24,28,9,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,3,3,0,0,3,4,3,0,2,1,1,18,4,11,24,2,10,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,3,3,70,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.373624766287952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181341009235648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487099598393854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198463509426214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103913720063644,0.14275729910563445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20880396369529328,0.0,0.2271339312240433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761647712390455,0.0,0.0,0.10982034745157963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097625960087788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007542759296812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148170071122451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917405380262226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708175067356371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912085907676904,0.4671769219754876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706531483733286,0.0,0.20890381189386426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465864614017326,0.18397494989993696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23572768806347905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,schizotalk120685,2018/01/11,"Was there any case of a nearly treatment-resistant schizophrenia patient who had actual improvements only after being on an antipsychotic of daily dose titrated above the ""recommended/approved"" maximum daily dose? Hi dear r/mentalhealth!

According to what I have known and my search results, the ""recommended/approved"" maximum daily doses of atypical antipsychotics are: aripiprazole (Abilify) 30 mg, asenapine (Saphris) 20 mg, brexpiprazole (Rexulti) 4 mg, cariprazine (Vraylar) 6 mg, clozapine (Clozaril) 900 mg, iloperidone (Fanapt) 24 mg, lurasidone (Latuda) 160 mg, olanzapine (Zyprexa) 20 mg, paliperidone (Invega) 12 mg, quetiapine (Seroquel) 750 mg, risperidone (Risperdal) 16 mg, ziprasidone (Geodon) 200 mg.

Does anyone know and can tell me any case of a nearly treatment-resistant schizophrenia patient who had actual improvements **only** after being on an antipsychotic of daily dose titrated above the ""recommended/approved"" maximum daily dose? When the patient begun having actual improvements, which antipsychotic and how much dose was the patient on?",9.7601356238698,13.4701478164557,8.677251356238699,52.95215189873417,61.34177215189873,12.109222423146475,44.19710669077757,11.491704259439757,7.112667631103076,857,52,89,30,14,266,95,158,0.0,0.933,0.067,0.8531,0,0,0,1,0,0,59.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,9,0,10,6,0,2,0,7,11,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,1,13,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,46,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.7413283956893509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34440112772715764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177059656590611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159746319902576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391649327893165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614830116663816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851755422258014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213283723390788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ark-i5,2018/01/11,"Took MDMA and it has seemingly given me a ton of mental problems that I could really use some help with. Hey, I'm a recently-turned eighteen-year old, male, sorry this is a long post but I am in desperate need of help. About four months ago I took just over a gram of MDMA within the course of five weeks (prior to this I had only taken MDMA four or five times, each only having 120mg-240mg per session). Ever since then I have been dealing with a mass slew of psychological issues and mental disorders (which prior to taking MDMA I have had zero history of - my life was perfect aside from some confidence issues) and the only solution that keeps sliding it's way into my head is suicide. I don't think I'd ever be able to do it but I'm at the end of my tether because my life is now just completely miserable. Here's a detailed explanation of everything I'm dealing with, sorry it's written a bit weirdly, I originally only wrote it for myself to read:

Overall Description - Get anxious about certain things, such as the place where I did MDMA, being on my own, going to places I'm not familiar with, afternoon lighting, a hoodie I was wearing when I had a huge panic attack, a girl I used to really like who I was thinking about when I had that panic attack, and the idea of my mind making more associations. I constantly, obsessively ruminate about all the mental/psychological issues I'm currently dealing with (the anxiety, the associations, the depression caused by these problems). Intrusive thoughts concerning the thought that my mind will make new associations.

Easy Assocations, the Anxiety Surrounding them, and Head Tension/Pressure - Ever since having learned that my originally, inexplicable ""off"" feelings surrounding daylight was a result of my mind having associated daylight with comedown depression, my mind has seemingly been given the power to make associations very easily, however, I would put this down to my problem of over-thinking and over-analysing things, also my potential anxiety disorder and current negative frame of my mind that has been brought about by the anxiety which has made me very depressed that is actually causing these particular ""associations"". It seems that if I feel even slightly weird when thinking about a particular thing it suddenly becomes associated with that weird feeling and I develop a slight anxiety towards it which causes head tension/pressure (I hear this phenomenon is referred to as ""somatisation""). Something I've noticed about these particular associations is that it's not the actual thought that triggers the reaction, it's the thought that reminds me of the feeling my mind associated it with that triggers the reaction, which is why I believe this problem is caused by negative ways of thinking and that my mind is tricking me into believing these associations affect me.

Daylight Association - Whenever the sun is out, specifically during the afternoon, the way it colours everything (making everything look quite orange), brightens things and projects shadows makes me feel really ""off"". The best way I can describe this ""off"" feeling is a combination of slight depression and uneasiness/anxiety. It doesn't make me feel like something bad is going to happen but it makes me feel as if something is wrong. This feeling in itself makes me depressed. I assume this association came from the fact that I would wake up after a night of MDMA use while the sun is shining and the comedown is starting (in which I would feel very depressed - I suppose this ""off"" feeling I get is also a slight bit of worry and anxiety which probably comes from my body anticipating a comedown to start even though I haven't taken any MDMA). After a talk with my therapist, this association may have also stemmed from childhood in which I remember always disliking the afternoon sun as it would make me very anxious because it 
reminded me of times where my Mum would have been drinking at parties (I was very anxious of my Mum when she was drunk, not because I was scared of her, but because she was clearly different and I didn't like this difference) which would obviously start in the afternoon. This anxiety surrounding drunk people would have also come from my grandparents who would drink too, however, over time this anxiety subsided, particularly when my step-father came into my life, who, from my perspective, was someone who could look after me when my Mum was drunk and could not (I vividly remember me telling him this fact one time my Mum was drunk). The fact that this association has reappeared now could maybe be put down to MDMA having brought it out via an underlying anxiety disorder (which I've heard taking MDMA can apparently cause).

Romance Association - Whenever I picture myself in a relationship or liking a girl, or picturing myself physically with a girl I like or picturing the girl I like herself I begin to feel head tension/pressure. This was caused by an anxiety attack I had the day after a night I spent with a girl I really liked, during which I was hit with the thought that I would suddenly start associating said girl with anxiety, which I ended up doing. However, it soon became apparent that this anxiety stemmed to other girls I found myself liking romantically, too. After some time passed the anxiety surrounding girls I liked romantically became head tension/pressure (which is better than full-blown anxiety but it's still bad and interferes with my train of thought), although thinking about the particular girl I spent that night with still causes some anxiety alongside the head tension/pressure.

""Fantasies in my Head"" Association - Typically when I'm not preoccupied and have nothing else to think about or I'm listening to some good music, I tend to imagine myself in stories that I make up in my head (such as an action scene if the music is intense or romance if the music is romantic, etc...). However, due to an ""anxiety spike"" I had whilst thinking about one of these stories, every time I try to think about myself in one of them I get a lot of head tension/pressure. The best way I can describe this feeling and the head tension/pressure is to imagine your brain as a container, whenever you have a thought it appears in the container and starts off small but continues to grow the more you think about it before it's entirely what you're focusing on (at this point you're oblivious to the world and ""zoned out""). Whenever I try to think of one of these stories in my head, it appears in the container that is my brain, starts to grow a bit but eventually ""something"" detects that the thought has appeared and a hole opens up which allows this substance to enter, fill up the rest of my brain, put a heavy weight on that thought, pushing it away, preventing the thought from growing and the story continuing, taking up the rest of my thinking space, distracting me, and causing my brain to feel as if something is causing it to compress in on itself (resulting in the head tension/pressure). I used to use these fantasies that I could make up to empower myself in ways that I couldn't in the real world (this relates to my confidence issue according to my therapist) and now that I'm unable to completely do that I just feel hopeless.

I know I took a lot of MDMA in a short time but I've had very conflicting views from people, some saying I did abuse it and took way too much and others saying I didn't necessarily ""abuse"" it despite the fact I took a lot, so I don't know whether to put this down to MDMA itself or MDMA setting off a chain reaction that caused all of this, either way I am never taking MDMA or any other drug ever again. I would be so thankful if anyone can give me advice, ways to get better and get through this, an attempt at an explanation, anything. I feel as if my life has been ruined and I have no idea what to do, my therapist is good to talk to and give possible explanations (as is evident in the text above) but they aren't actually fixing the problem.",10.883334317197956,8.868594360192837,10.529700905155448,60.62017906336088,57.87741046831954,13.681857536402994,44.19086973632428,12.28987398476788,5.5488373868555705,6409,307,1035,162,63,2108,462,1452,0.132,0.769,0.099,-0.9927,12,0,8,0,2,2,175.0,0,3,3,8,51,49,4,6,91,0,109,31,19,35,15,243,231,80,1,29,34,4,17,9,0,12,5,6,0,10,115,56,7,7,52,9,2,29,17,29,0,9,60,30,136,20,179,148,26,182,0,9,6,0,48,72,0,32,79,766,251,4,0.02644131872993716,0.06265727795708027,0.07740873862301043,0.0,0.0,0.025838150642571698,0.023438633676208853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458045214138166,0.02200129535318804,0.0,0.0,0.035962006895623004,0.0,0.34386811974060943,0.08961349182803474,0.0,0.01848838484725465,0.0,0.021758952368373108,0.0,0.0,0.09024245174404052,0.024842489341763262,0.0,0.044154793369752685,0.06447352991328872,0.029202359148307745,0.022499614744030342,0.059580623232697874,0.055497065414679914,0.04677039537130896,0.08660121543474365,0.029370344340341963,0.0,0.11806902548695362,0.0,0.06048364915872983,0.0,0.2716251793210335,0.0,0.045553709622952285,0.05544643924239662,0.028573672096491632,0.0,0.10555620728083938,0.0,0.0,0.01705246314508815,0.08177951572846777,0.13664321446350602,0.0,0.0,0.055251100649937636,0.0909121260987975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051804852080329235,0.030663535163615988,0.0,0.022088328922949117,0.0,0.04683832039106108,0.0,0.02948905983082935,0.03492848329421476,0.09567074634117599,0.022277951434697758,0.0,0.07129125698518075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139124035614492,0.018889683383892405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02899154121095613,0.0,0.0,0.06907248855603665,0.05072984456964913,0.030054421549305082,0.04435544730160234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023381970829087332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256370560506456,0.0,0.02980128790515013,0.0,0.03544611717119798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596980607954433,0.0,0.1103914683351205,0.0,0.02350225899237752,0.0,0.0,0.029062914547498857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470514152659757,0.1162610345596432,0.0,0.0,0.023399735016218098,0.04440809663371351,0.0,0.0,0.06743839090106048,0.0,0.02501941510660712,0.1941476412968169,0.0,0.026563858619013173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993989064572002,0.0,0.18688736041191573,0.0,0.021105208345340527,0.0,0.019437411643629974,0.019605902801515317,0.020393175060121636,0.02553719039565922,0.0,0.07444015933197765,0.0,0.025371158447684405,0.03010361662591401,0.02774571609850626,0.0,0.07166928751245091,0.08043925754228783,0.0,0.06204638085840049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036662162269650536,0.0,0.055251100649937636,0.0,0.02499559278929522,0.02980861398686086,0.02532347428769477,0.0,0.028508213726825406,0.12650385523227406,0.0,0.10632331385929802,0.0,0.028123597195543918,0.02644847412630306,0.030096009456032087,0.06775594338823665,0.0,0.0,0.028388080928656495,0.05990571938796568,0.0,0.025151749113233403,0.042054395861739716,0.026472372774014527,0.0,0.0,0.07221355051576271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043745064180904944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02240364355455329,0.10177909482130053,0.0,0.0591977830710318,0.11229180893862092,0.0,0.04223214258674327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02892251109086192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952232408878086,0.042505060831542686,0.0231108780182642,0.02434361378331873,0.0,0.09210122702976034,0.07026574902709788,0.2033103526618528,0.025978461402255338,0.20991453547607197,0.10792701910815264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468863900562438,0.03590383952776343,0.02876056196236117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418404894835155,0.0,0.13090114266667058,0.0,0.18889099259169426,0.02120963096939636,0.032198402880324,0.0,0.0,0.023859177469728682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02685244266240576,0.0,0.18783154187251372,0.028909431203432912,0.0,0.01702734234939203
mentalhealth,Eliwick,2018/01/11,"How to articulate what is going on more clearly? I am really worried about my husband's mental health and I am not sure that I can stay in our relationship much longer. He has struggled with clinical depression for a long time, but especially over the past 5-6 years. We have been together for 17 years, and married for 10. After some very low points he finally sought treatment for his depression. He has been on Wellbutrin for about a year, I think. During this last year, unfortunately, our relationship has gone from bad to worse. His depression actually has gotten a little better, but it has been replaced with, for lack of a better term, a very persistent and extreme form of anxiety.

Here is where I am struggling to talk to him, our therapist, and our physician. ""Anxiety"" is does not go far enough to describe what happens to my husband during one of these episodes, which can last most of a day sometimes. His speech changes, his posture changes, he get's a little bit of a lisp and becomes irritable, irrational, and he loses much of his short term memory. He'll tell me that I said things that I didn't say or he won't remember something I just said. He becomes a completely different person. Often times, when he is in this state, we will get into an argument and he will spend the next few hours locked in his office crying. I am really worried about his mental health, I am worried about our marriage, and I am worried about him forgetting that the stove is on or some other potentially dangerous behavior.

Again, I have been expressing concerns about this to him, our therapist, and our physician for about a year and have not gotten the traction that is needed for the seriousness of what is going on. This could be connected to his medication, but maybe not. I'm not sure and I'm not qualified to make that decision.

I appreciate your time and any feedback you might have.",6.333338685770755,7.37223183238637,6.670741106719369,74.49540513833993,65.9034090909091,10.326284584980238,33.48616600790514,10.374825546531014,3.5956483201581024,1503,64,267,37,23,486,179,352,0.2,0.768,0.032,-0.9962,1,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,9,2,0,4,14,14,1,2,16,0,35,6,0,2,3,46,52,19,0,3,12,2,0,0,0,5,6,4,1,1,18,17,0,0,3,0,1,4,8,10,0,1,10,4,38,4,44,35,13,43,0,5,0,0,44,16,0,7,21,192,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.08573321078611569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597439973635813,0.0,0.13441673465738238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335474536581148,0.0,0.19405654117475835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540013580817316,0.09591423900290327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858765895570431,0.0,0.09211365565698992,0.0,0.0,0.07014458106078242,0.0,0.09650392129622563,0.0566588130712311,0.0,0.22700657024935356,0.0,0.0,0.09178913794064704,0.0,0.0,0.07688196809638341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077706908148632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624018916407988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180058468183246,0.0,0.1497890220935517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768934629387167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677021508950475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651887651855655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432261060594091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761063564630382,0.0,0.07774836989353824,0.0,0.09828658931824616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864348704275714,0.0,0.088261542461026,0.0,0.0,0.08850405444582317,0.1770731216361996,0.0931996235086389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916616954803087,0.06514291644980068,0.0,0.0,0.09343413968216097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059532407863404926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838669554960328,0.0,0.07671106401471026,0.0,0.0,0.0830507949147055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256354282181244,0.0,0.0,0.1886454709917996,0.0995218968609249,0.0,0.16713928530983813,0.06986533656987266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763460104237465,0.08689023742564275,0.0,0.0,0.09364108957058956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368896581011188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560344435873228,0.0,0.0,0.07061403023554913,0.07678860856685266,0.0,0.0,0.2040114346535843,0.058366552467570186,0.056293545243794964,0.0,0.0,0.15368580268070453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449781440186013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568815874563989,0.08953112828348421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28287673137471336
mentalhealth,PeculiarChap,2018/01/11,"My personal thoughts on my issues Delusions/Depression Gay/bi guy I have been told I suffer from delusions but at times it feels like the delusions are real. I don't know how to discern between what is a real delusion, like when dealing with the public it seems like I'm seen as someone weird but also suspiciously evasive. The truth is I like people and always wanted to fit in and still do, my dislike of self is strong though and I don't know how to like myself the way confident people do, so I guess confident people see me as an enemy. A doctor would hear me saying this stuff and think I'm delusional but I think that's unfair because whenever I think people like me it turns out they really do hate me.

I just wanted to get this out there for anyone else struggling mentally, if you think something is just a delusion or irrational belief you need to still treat it by introspection as well as calming supplements, there's a big difference between a delusion where someones summoning a Patronus against me and a delusion where people are just hating you because of the way you walk or talk.  For me I would say being gay/bi has been the biggest source of animosity and suspicion from others and delusions and depression involving self-talk. Sometimes it feels like the world hates me and then I think I am actually being too optimistic about my chances of fitting in and being a regular guy rather than being delusional I am actually Polyanna. Ever since I realized I was bi as a teenager I've been treated totally different by people, with trepidation, my friends really disliked me because of who I am and it seems like a large chunk of society really has it out for people like me too.",8.069026937877954,7.672007704049842,8.279413597214589,69.33483232545358,62.302180685358245,11.415869525380245,37.88546820597398,10.843485225782073,4.262347480300532,1367,61,231,31,17,449,160,321,0.153,0.667,0.181,0.8197,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,1,1,21,23,3,1,18,0,27,2,0,2,3,54,54,29,0,7,10,0,2,9,1,2,1,3,0,4,14,16,0,0,15,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,7,7,36,16,37,41,1,23,1,2,2,1,19,14,0,6,15,171,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.16435520197910214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673433526811547,0.0700701381891567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058882154907016676,0.08628392430235993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540023807022884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681764529689716,0.14506129095835352,0.0,0.0,0.17596474187067146,0.0,0.08619333023901493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034732433489747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617349693701768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515902948728814,0.12032043602986905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506106131670003,0.0,0.043996671473155946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276769895092207,0.16676387892018055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494222158554193,0.0,0.0,0.094911700797932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878942048294553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256011547646502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702703239438167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486468780515118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624412470525872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4086681976483762,0.07352962932662821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170067104442204,0.1618427997125567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339356288886241,0.0,0.0,0.06710511111419942,0.15332471361467467,0.17570047674214326,0.0,0.0,0.06966005053437413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427030885779812,0.06482959411626113,0.08328664231257517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450171999297642,0.0,0.0,0.08803542058039478,0.0964012278263836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537091513900978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697944272070238,0.0827366912345885,0.06685397506192595,0.04910399931232228,0.0,0.0,0.08046703575685936,0.0,0.0,0.09159717729112872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933943269381773,0.13368523929679665,0.0,0.0,0.07571562964510155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964188366192992,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iTherapy,2018/01/11,"We Are Licensed Mental Health Professionals Here To Answer Your Questions About Mental Health. AMA! Good morning!

We are licensed mental health professionals here to answer your questions about mental health.

This is part of a large series of AMAs organized by [Dr Amber Lyda](https://www.dramberlyda.com/) and [iTherapy](https://itherapy.com/) that will be going on all week across many different subReddits. We’ll have dozens of mental health professionals answering your questions on everything from anxiety, to grief, to a big general AMA at the end of the week. There's a [full list of topics here](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/7oz2ej/we_are_licensed_mental_health_professionals_here/?sort=new). 

The professionals answering your questions here are:

Kevin Hyde	u/DrKevinHyde	AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/drkevinhyde/photos/a.175387959860100.1073741828.122901988442031/175387439860152/?type=3&theater

Courtney Glashow	u/courtneyglashowLCSW	AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/AnchorTherapy/photos/rpp.1393485707355705/1527661640604777/?type=3&theater

Brooke Williams	u/brookeWilliamsLPC	AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/betterwaycc/photos/pcb.174070459859695/174070433193031/?type=3&theater

What questions do you have for them? 😊

(The professionals answering questions are not able to provide counseling thru reddit. If you'd like to learn more about services they offer, you’re welcome to contact them directly.

If you're experiencing thoughts or impulses that put you or anyone else in danger, please contact the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or go to your local emergency room.)",16.368054545454548,22.456343260000004,8.841454545454548,47.8657272727273,51.40000000000001,9.436363636363636,34.09090909090909,9.688023934748609,4.4696500000000015,1412,50,136,29,22,354,127,200,0.085,0.848,0.067,-0.6751,1,0,0,0,0,1,110.0,3,8,3,0,7,5,1,0,8,0,12,6,0,0,4,27,15,6,2,2,6,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,13,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,1,1,14,3,26,10,4,17,0,1,0,0,25,11,0,11,4,78,18,7,0.08827895542759158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869506339697124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753315927198086,0.0,0.0,0.061726698222922975,0.09045222215986913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922327192039565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374573955160822,0.0,0.07818895192667193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933943287841333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003419295176529,0.07404419944599233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691820075473359,0.0,0.0,0.05917152298259842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0431286384796437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950100487363302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4448221181955167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852603652529579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559750600667608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690378338671836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874473301582851,0.5933558020017712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656284898352682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008362975449743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162410627901814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FuelledByPurrs,2018/01/11,"Going through a tough time I just want to write how I feel somewhere. Anywhere. 

Its a few days till uni gets back and its a lot to handle on top of what's already on my mind.  Basically it's a cluster fuck of 
1. Seeing my abusive parents not even a month after being forced to spend Xmas with them.  
2. Having a make the tough decision to give up one of my cats (she will be happier).
3. The fact it's my last term of my undergrad so its scary that it's all over so soon and the next step (A masters) is so close. 
4. Accepting another room mate ( good uni friend) and accepting that he will eventually move on (I get attached).  
5. Dealing with the grief from point 2. Dealing with the panic and anxiety from all the points. And avoiding my go to coping : self harm.   

I'm going okay so far.

",0.4766557698594305,2.7661008695652183,2.4464138607388044,92.61557698594316,86.88819875776397,5.625498528931023,21.517162471395878,7.0608816371341465,0.6342223602484478,604,21,132,9,19,201,107,161,0.17800000000000002,0.746,0.076,-0.9579,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,9,12,1,2,13,1,6,1,0,2,3,25,18,11,1,1,2,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,9,9,0,1,4,0,1,5,1,7,0,1,0,2,11,5,22,14,5,26,0,1,1,1,11,11,1,1,10,81,20,1,0.0,0.20900903601627904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466540126993076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497421544656545,0.13494802306632672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356432302817111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137655193415645,0.3637280627903755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651269989473888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919479651455949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362887332113285,0.16308198585146433,0.1843268615432896,0.16922209608309186,0.3007621403701904,0.14795869825256558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379221391942784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997175675133084,0.0,0.0,0.1177505563173742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811702152634198,0.0,0.14080341167083485,0.18748876493642053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876068849485053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195354249606228,0.0,0.0,0.20697123581392,0.1958749617342248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33351622821052995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057057171632933,0.0,0.18402708867021414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286216865276604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040472224536035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kitsudori,2018/01/11,"CBD Oil as medication. Thoughts? I’ve recently used CBD Oil to combat panic attacks, depression and heavy anxiety. It seems to work, though I’m afraid it’s too unstable and there might be a better alternative. Any thoughts? Have you ever used it for a significant amount of time? How did you feel about it? Do you prefer it over medicinal marijuana? ",2.6582118055555526,5.670960203124999,4.145833333333337,78.00472222222223,87.59375,8.469444444444445,25.86111111111111,8.841846274778883,2.9633527777777786,279,12,49,9,9,92,50,64,0.239,0.6970000000000001,0.064,-0.9146,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,2,6,5,1,2,2,0,5,1,0,3,1,12,12,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,3,1,7,7,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620948062916487,0.0,0.18234680911999046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27117197652863445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108124332410068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053014397835329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21561270399842253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052334050527623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401253380170757,0.0,0.2528651510736781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796672642750756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353544048579883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699644509938695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341901374400869,0.3784667086523103,0.1389912042192375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117376730302981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353088072454326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Seueuwy77,2018/01/11,"About to quit my job I’m 26, about to quit my job because I’m overwhelmed. Feel like a failure",-1.33285714285714,0.6919166666666712,0.6257142857142881,103.04428571428572,96.61904761904762,2.8000000000000003,21.285714285714285,3.1291,-0.6545999999999994,74,3,18,0,3,24,14,21,0.15,0.682,0.168,-0.1531,2,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943256135595337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118498213910196,0.2277368289564451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6326808487186065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574003370412465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6781245311525995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoGodDangTired,2018/01/11,"I think I'm losing my grasp on reality. I've always been an ""imaginative"" person, I often write stories in my head, sometimes I'll narrate what I was doing in my head, stuff like that.

But, it's getting worse. I zone out a lot, and sometimes hours past that I don't remember. I will think vividly about doing something,  and then I'd be convinced that I jad actually done it until I'm faced with obvious evidence that I didn't (for example, one sleepy morning I could have sworn i put the leftovers of my breakfast up. Like, I was 100% sure. But when I got home, the bowl had been licked clean by my dog) and I don't know how often that happens, but I'm always really confused when it happens. I'll imagine conversations or interactions so clearly i can't figure out if I did it or not. been having dissociation episodes, too. 

Most worryingly to me is the fact that I've later begun to get really obsessed with a certain work of fiction to the point that I catch myself thinking of it's characters as real people.

I don't know what's wrong with me.",5.8684285714285735,5.6639075095238125,7.080714285714286,75.46678571428575,66.76190476190476,9.666666666666668,33.214285714285715,9.2995712137729,2.8877142857142855,827,33,160,14,12,282,126,210,0.05,0.846,0.104,0.8494,0,0,1,1,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,8,9,0,2,7,0,21,4,3,1,5,39,34,16,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,15,8,1,0,10,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,10,2,25,5,20,21,2,17,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,8,10,109,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.1479166667549724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25224735585353025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102139330019353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511524723723485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583847889025206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122946558326304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680769573609227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111221598474381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204345253562207,0.0,0.14927218645685528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660481190579995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810511071020202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957518032235275,0.0,0.12886480481208215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027120675209618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469679129140697,0.10508396601125992,0.1323506350484292,0.0,0.0,0.14328865841477986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237611215642974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252708727277036,0.19420740107204207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717064731137328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669089086665364,0.29982580089326755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351867320851136,0.0,0.0,0.14285892985972953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913720422668766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034939873848017,0.1539331560043553,0.15446926511994716,0.0,0.1657249598996638,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItMeAedri,2018/01/11,"Friend with history mentioned suicide, triggered some anxiety on my part. First off some context, for the stories sake my friend will be named Lily.

A week or three before Christmas Lily attempted suicide twice, causing her relationship to break up. About three weeks ago she got home again. All the while I've been supporting her, including trying to come up with things to do.

Last weekend we went out for drinking and she got called that she needs to come home. We texted a bit after she got home and she mentioned that ""if her parents go on, she will attempt it for a third time"".

As a result I haven't slept that well from saturday to sunday. Turns out she didn't feel well either. Went for a visit, we went out to get food she wanted and went back.

I'll be honest about it, I said things that weren't that smart to say, Sunday and Tuesday. Two years back I had a major crush on her, got declined and we went on as friends.

In the past I had problems with anxiety, which seems to be triggering now as well. The reason why it is happening is because I can feel that something is off. She used to reply rather quickly on texts, but now she reads the texts and leaves them unanswered. She does reply to other WhatsApp groups.

Now because of all that happened, I seriously suspect she has a disorder like borderline. Thing is, because of all what happened in the last weeks I feel like I can't talk about this to her. 

Now I know what is wrong, but I just have some trouble to let this just 'go'. This isn't even the complete story, since there are so many aspects to it. 

Any advice would be welcome on how I can get my own thoughts untangled.",3.971906249999997,5.609213628125001,4.041375000000002,88.88612500000002,72.09375,6.870000000000001,27.175,7.404127859558343,1.3295037500000002,1291,46,259,14,25,397,169,320,0.102,0.8340000000000001,0.064,-0.8151,1,0,2,0,0,2,38.0,4,0,1,3,21,16,0,0,14,0,27,3,1,7,3,51,58,16,2,6,8,1,3,2,3,3,0,2,3,0,21,18,2,0,8,3,0,10,5,4,3,6,17,5,36,12,45,33,11,51,0,0,0,0,37,15,0,6,27,187,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490244497728308,0.07701779177485861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059084381733916766,0.0,0.1329326796396221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361750447770382,0.0,0.15889179923354746,0.0,0.0739322380011084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485527853916538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871870218573652,0.0,0.0,0.0892542278306546,0.0,0.1496864608568939,0.09109665629875943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957706713928513,0.0,0.0760331372508823,0.0,0.0,0.08511364965996397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057386336817406576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179411273883834,0.062070243583795336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390383918965898,0.1050609797456371,0.0,0.20138005098711453,0.0,0.09078704184672597,0.0,0.09875683082788823,0.0,0.27795761553182263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304948042805556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26145645772273785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774940237369302,0.14164478940331324,0.0,0.09199805058440473,0.0,0.08884520114779726,0.0,0.08489467313705594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808715997111041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442369296713474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647486100941699,0.0940873548441026,0.08294100549103223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313665135596808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690792736310325,0.0,0.0,0.08933164941112083,0.0,0.09328134634700874,0.0,0.0,0.08264697519219139,0.06909397425722377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909630845350317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187168609752588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688786761437555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007489664920968,0.0985954047493458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698344018197685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731664343867003,0.0,0.0,0.06897652059054359,0.05066300121282364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589888146823602,0.09450529425669724,0.08487344885737384,0.0,0.0,0.07504023850025755,0.0,0.0,0.05124667918632391,0.0,0.20908031127437024,0.0,0.2343585710080976,0.4027136167703068,0.07839967071750345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061720195726988315,0.09499446868422297,0.0,0.055950714775487916
mentalhealth,xil3h,2018/01/11,"What's the name of this? - Half-awake, panic with negative forced thoughts, feeling overwhelmed, extreme fear. Sometimes right before I am about to fall asleep I will snap into a few minutes of feeling absolutely overwhelmed and feeling extreme fear for my life. There will be forced thoughts telling me how much everyone hates me, how far away I am from accomplishments, I am not good enough, how I shouldn't be here, and some other irrational negative thoughts. It's almost as if I fell partially asleep. I will sometimes begin slapping, or hitting myself and sometimes repetitively hitting my bed when feeling overwhelmed and then coming back to reality after a minutes. The outcome usually leaves me upset because all of these thoughts were absolutely negative. This has been occurring for years out of the blue and afterwards I may have mild memory loss.",9.101156462585033,10.307022380952386,7.717414965986396,68.82401360544218,59.88435374149661,10.61496598639456,42.18367346938776,10.504223727775694,4.891987755102041,698,38,103,15,9,211,97,147,0.243,0.698,0.059,-0.987,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,8,10,1,7,5,0,14,3,2,3,1,29,27,13,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,6,9,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,6,5,14,1,16,12,5,17,0,4,1,0,2,5,0,5,9,79,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328629675550098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382256295986007,0.11770814110065896,0.0,0.09331541001820784,0.0,0.1302587761467152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186382371286984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817131138990706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462733446137475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445123960727283,0.30960494443476594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283952269111584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113361387050647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208833657691382,0.0,0.0,0.10812407698784716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125305246762468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960497828285227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072845089636492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541965148133618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379761034058785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4861098431700772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859466120784108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857772236084243
mentalhealth,Lindsay589,2018/01/11,"Keep getting this weird feeling, like I am being detached from my body I don't really know why this happens but a lot of times when I'm in bed at night, often when I'm thinking about something that might stress me I feel as if my soul is trying to escape my body. I'm awake but I just get this weird feeling and it feels like I'm not even in control anymore. It's like I no longer feel comfortable in my own skin and my soul is just itching to escape?¿ ive looked up things like depersonalization and detachment that describe a similar feeling but not quite",3.2888596491228057,4.815408061403513,4.255263157894738,87.11517543859651,73.64912280701755,6.821052631578947,26.701754385964907,7.3871296695380915,1.2729543859649122,445,16,92,5,9,144,72,114,0.096,0.715,0.189,0.882,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,2,0,7,4,4,1,0,24,24,10,0,1,8,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,8,3,0,2,8,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,8,12,5,11,22,2,9,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,4,8,57,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765531011082746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755599038855668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18960749532612148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165801868745803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.512870147119288,0.2415432244809977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664659877760222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949315226729346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026221732353431,0.0,0.0,0.09290719635095387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33036334170498177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419620783998631,0.0,0.0,0.14372295237394248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933868893334254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586449399434036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798088462512029,0.0,0.0,0.10829978400870267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014538279057358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936498251452165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231140859837203,0.1083224397199008,0.0,0.0,0.09857625786750507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477599960965125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525441835731582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Joz86,2018/01/11,"How do I accept living a subpar life I am 31 and realize that the life that I thought I would have will not be. For instance, the men that I like do not seem to be attracted to me. I don't meet any men where there is mutual attraction. I tried to be a bit more outgoing and I reached out to men on a dating site and no one is really responding back to me. Men rarely ever approach me outside. The men that I talk to online only sexualize me.

I want to get into entertainment (modeling, writing, reporting) but I keep getting rejected. I have not pushed the entertainment part enough but the attempts that I have made have all resulted in rejection. I can't understand why it's so hard to get into commercial modeling when I feel that I have a not bad looking face and I see other commercial models who I feel are just ok looking.

It frustrates me even more when I see just ok looking women with such handsome boyfriends and husbands and I can't understand why that can't be me.

I am a parent of a soon to be 13 year old and I realize that she is my main job, and the only thing that I can do kind of right is just earn and save money for us and be a good mom.

It saddens me to know that I will most likely be alone. I am getting older and will be less noticeable to men and the chances of me being passed over for younger professionals for whichever field I choose to get into increases. I should be well into my career right now but my temp job of 2 years ended two weeks ago and I am looking for a permanent position but I'm only finding part time positions. I'm just stuck. On top of that the jobs that I would like to do require me to possibly publically speak and attend meetings but I deal with anxiety (which has been under great control for 2 years but I don't know how a more demanding job will affect this).

I am trying to block out thoughts of dating and thoughts of being in the entertainment industry but I just don't know how to do that without feeling bitter. I don't want to feel envious of couples and those working in the entertainment industry.

It's like all of my life I'm inches away from being great. I hate it but I want to be able to accept my life as it is.

I should be grateful for all of the things that I have but it's never enough.",3.472214756592294,4.6001596012931065,5.041835699797161,83.22202839756595,72.59913793103449,8.562271805273834,27.87119675456389,9.007467420416297,2.152456338742393,1781,66,369,36,34,602,201,464,0.09,0.736,0.174,0.9887,5,2,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,6,21,28,4,0,20,2,54,5,1,7,5,87,88,32,0,7,19,3,5,4,0,8,4,1,0,7,28,24,0,4,19,4,1,5,14,7,1,2,6,13,54,21,55,60,15,43,0,2,6,0,21,20,0,2,22,277,82,10,0.08534300724816453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565142662309714,0.0,0.0,0.08838961740478121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803617146517015,0.0,0.06528716695076274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018256462965721,0.0656235046643865,0.07125784627242315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317246026990864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571943949201783,0.0,0.09443041427015328,0.0,0.0,0.0879848930739847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558857327528758,0.17636428022240827,0.0,0.05636825139834181,0.0771976360353387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260795494049513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800196250588479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229409944222024,0.0,0.0,0.07158166540820682,0.0,0.18818193355676788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645057141938046,0.0842585510401986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33875906420702195,0.07585678611648737,0.0,0.08887160911317728,0.14070685461340504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24112115964780115,0.16677712999858582,0.0,0.07535943895650363,0.0,0.2866665276113639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075361696580112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995269863005424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582178841929434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716357940167876,0.08955312986788999,0.0,0.057830630405743974,0.1947216081462654,0.0,0.0,0.09476330988510484,0.1848363204688362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962114176498356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467291577576932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457649237673264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601465476078087,0.07769306853953926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859547649041638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339620367965618,0.0,0.0,0.2032584445458792,0.04976419383668892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158845997187574,0.0,0.08336771725749201,0.17769016065628565,0.102657129712214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101255050812054,0.0,0.06845701260363689,0.0,0.07673361279923792,0.0,0.15401757957169315,0.0,0.0,0.08226761351491492,0.0,0.062130725706974435,0.0,0.0,0.12125044747719325,0.0,0.0,0.16487429576224427
mentalhealth,gnarlyduck,2018/01/11,"Anger - Out of Body Exp. I really want to make this on a throw away account, but fuck it right....

I get mad, beyond angry... uncontrollable anger. I've been seeking council the past year about this and other issues that feel are controlling my life, end all I'm ""codependent"" have not been diagnosed as depressed. Anyway... Its really hard to do some of the advice (walk away, go for a walk, meditate) as in most my occurrences are explosive if I'm triggered. 

Lately, I've been getting these out of body experiences during these outbreaks. Is this part of the process of understanding my wrong doings? Or just some imaginative things going on? I tried some googling, found a similar yahoo post from someone yearsssss ago, but nothing else.
ex:
I tried walking away earlier from an argument at my home with my S.O., but they followed not giving me space and I exploded on them yelling and screaming, eventually finding an empty room to lock myself in. I paced for a few moments at this time I started feeling this experience of outer body: Where I felt hesitant to pick up an air can. Instantly it was in my hands and thrown at a wall causing damage... then just standing there in utter silence back in my body... staring at the hole in the wall.

Almost like I gave up power on not wanting to grab that can, to give up the responsibility and blame it on anger. I keep losing to this.",4.004933175435632,6.3290450000000025,4.791950600575198,80.60865335814586,73.70817120622569,7.738047707663679,28.29453561157165,8.587818076936951,2.3138230079512767,1083,44,195,21,23,349,161,257,0.2,0.779,0.021,-0.9947,2,0,0,0,1,0,49.0,0,0,2,3,8,12,5,1,14,0,12,8,5,5,1,39,33,13,0,3,10,1,6,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,16,8,0,2,7,0,1,7,3,11,0,0,7,9,21,1,45,26,7,51,0,3,1,1,6,32,1,7,11,135,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144226295173246,0.10379651913269444,0.0,0.11725244799002014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33004021768770164,0.09003784411610605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.520258911055983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120287506992931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133056541158014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085265080113276,0.11884766258065026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781677922580057,0.0,0.1037102820449132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290802564198987,0.0,0.0,0.1184122077875422,0.0,0.11242833544592312,0.0,0.10702154017486687,0.0,0.0,0.12838722186454862,0.0,0.108251258759789,0.12235327330068364,0.22465393483311166,0.1330941207776531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489297496756547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745454996388505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221542340545158,0.0,0.1040782798546826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208681816400106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270675841108098,0.05720607772223059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099792301243735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816096838942636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235458387264018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268010897503875,0.11177920666046834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214341756094023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002647277578873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999739842362557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099213130294905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287953879875136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777918656012285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827829068481786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589979014119509,0.0,0.0,0.12189869367658875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812982154044853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280236028462813,0.0,0.07540451761663769
mentalhealth,made08,2018/01/11,"Afraid I'm falling into an ED relapse F22 USA // I was feeling so good about myself and so confident for a while but lately I've begun comparing myself to other girls again. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to that awful place it took me so long to leave. I can feel myself slipping up and I'm so, so scared.",-0.8347104851330158,1.2352112253521137,1.9458215962441336,95.16298904538341,91.67605633802816,4.282316118935838,16.339593114240998,5.82211442006289,-0.5400622848200314,251,6,57,2,9,87,50,71,0.188,0.728,0.083,-0.8309,0,0,0,1,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,13,9,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,2,2,8,1,9,11,0,12,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24568478506548855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32310944475633285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815858696848152,0.2679912657878682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559528154701992,0.0,0.3604231292872758,0.3383167702858125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827578116147395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338217355507268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198869640464732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549892695751151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188456286628418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noname_nogame,2018/01/11,"My limiting beliefs cause me retreat from others, and my own life. Any advice, or free resources that might help? I want to go to therapy, but it's too expensive, so instead I try to talk to people or look up therapy exercises online that I can download and work through by myself, without a therapist. I currently use Pinterest to download worksheets and YouTube sometimes.",8.034552238805972,8.760482268656716,8.202201492537316,66.09046641791046,62.13432835820896,11.476119402985075,45.108208955223894,11.20814326018867,5.7178388059701515,300,19,45,8,4,98,53,67,0.0,0.897,0.103,0.5499,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,13,6,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,8,2,10,5,1,3,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,35,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351261378247207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362641248522838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471778272105667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674701725364696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612791245518641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699534502854204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205595195401307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552544307821721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668121054407659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379743314365899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933971770963157,0.0,0.0,0.5503283149384979,0.2793724945719766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336175212424814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078140560584842,0.0,0.0,0.1419209276793719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23194421898152606,0.0,0.1751705444360186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Briskatlisk,2018/01/11,"""Poeple are against me"" So to start, I've been bullied and ostracized by people. This led me to have the mindset thay everyone is against me. Just today I had my depression worsen due to this. It was until I went to martial arts (for the first time... this style) I felt as though the people where labelling me. I thought that I was being a privileged person and they where judging me because of that and my skin color. Today as well I made a new friend but i was depressed and couldn't stop thinking how I am bad at socializing. 

My question is, how did you combat this?",2.8838392857142807,4.919382562500001,3.8440714285714286,87.45092857142859,76.05357142857143,6.265714285714287,26.378571428571423,7.1686216300943375,1.2900507142857145,445,17,87,5,10,143,76,112,0.165,0.767,0.068,-0.9249,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,1,8,6,0,0,5,0,13,1,1,4,0,16,19,12,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,3,1,1,10,3,18,3,13,7,0,14,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,1,9,70,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483834919594812,0.1276469062201176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607078978654061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000884944809308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105464862382266,0.0,0.0,0.17811359319714906,0.0,0.0,0.1617801586170685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981371851729201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022376222889654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903400260761124,0.18283801178113834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345733687084599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345460490727655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821278359406392,0.0,0.0,0.17506586967319102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417360351713148,0.20573219619378413,0.16623839929465978,0.12210149414578983,0.0,0.3969691076204335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827369744476588,0.19411378380032976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amjohn64,2018/01/11,Why am I crying all the time over stupid things? Ever since i’ve been home from college I have been crying and over emotional over little things all the time. It’s my first year of college and being home this break is killing me mentally for some reason. I guess i.t may be because some family problems that come back to haunt me when i’m home and being by myself more often than I was at college. I️ feel like my thoughts are eating away at me. Nothing feels the same as it did before I left. How can I stop my overthinking?  Is this normal to feel when you come home from college?,2.9379487179487143,4.787731555555556,3.496076923076924,90.83642307692308,75.32478632478632,6.047521367521367,21.956410256410265,6.742157984588678,0.4458553846153843,460,12,94,4,10,144,78,117,0.177,0.79,0.033,-0.9586,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,2,0,3,0,14,1,0,2,3,23,22,7,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,7,5,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,5,3,14,1,15,13,6,20,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,5,10,69,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271711121930208,0.10861914940448823,0.0,0.08610993570819422,0.0,0.1202006703633742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24336356406592044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103318935781589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454282020415346,0.0,0.15889691997887573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277764972334117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316604297930906,0.0,0.2142737881263244,0.10091517706089556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015449894660075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556122812394091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5667756013488123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628171943439034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534778898154446,0.0,0.0,0.06901182012913416,0.1415782341749836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235545147041265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840344281144146,0.13554144317587422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516540950111192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523737457699665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685057943111493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180985205882078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769188345508647,0.0,0.0,0.11214355521324976,0.16473805941896535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274639214407446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096591155840253
mentalhealth,carl123678,2018/01/11,Why do I hate almost everything? Wondering if someone more experienced possibly had some answers for me.,6.647058823529411,10.46346811764706,7.854411764705888,53.88985294117651,73.70588235294119,12.811764705882355,43.79411764705883,11.20814326018867,7.7532588235294115,86,6,10,4,2,29,17,17,0.198,0.802,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850146476145306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455579182486481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379607677389958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334585907491441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32578005025940765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469455321545942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169667423203322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crazypete3,2018/01/11,"I don't care anymore, but not in the way you may think I just don't seem to care anymore. I'm not saying that I don't care about my life or the world. I don't feel depressed inside, at least I don't think. I just don't care about things. I've let my room get to a complete mess as a reflection of my mental state. I do take showers once a day along with a one a day brushing of teeth + mouthwash but I could be doing better. I haven't studied to prepare for a course I'm retaking in college since my finals in November. I am spending too much money on my credit cards not even caring how big they get. I got laid off of my job because they told me they'd work with my schedule then after the holidays they kicked me to the curb. I don't feel sad or depressed or anything, I just feel numb. It's very strange and I don't know why. I sleep a lot too. Could this be a different kind of depression than I used to get or maybe a mental disease/disorder I could have? What do you think?",1.0914603409933292,2.6777297793427195,2.8534667655053134,94.57180874722022,79.84507042253522,5.798764516926119,22.47813194959229,6.5966054737557815,0.3486957746478869,765,24,179,7,19,254,117,213,0.147,0.752,0.102,-0.8531,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,4,2,9,14,0,0,13,0,22,4,2,2,0,33,44,10,0,3,12,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,5,4,0,1,9,1,3,0,12,6,0,1,2,5,32,8,24,34,3,17,0,4,0,0,8,9,0,7,6,117,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123979679224426,0.0,0.0,0.0917897334586338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799509491182948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865001890273348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5686235765483829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694988327396315,0.0,0.0,0.2671721312822649,0.0,0.0,0.14387099345609244,0.0,0.28821342181820164,0.0,0.0,0.1165378671751997,0.12783703433099092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367257663448874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919727602793025,0.0,0.0,0.12218903710558775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748286003814764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921049359085664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106884305406788,0.0,0.0,0.11615404541737274,0.06130068062751658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405946525205415,0.0787855604514636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948291967506817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120591405777483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481662201556946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199635734704905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878881154716303,0.07558388711190887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870284105506274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154383724800396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226886739116284,0.0,0.11162276279727648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386585907888143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410368690180195,0.21441522969802368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658336011321014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096336654823795,0.0,0.09203400353248613,0.0,0.08853701312451127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064949375374647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120405613891593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PJane92,2018/01/11,"Can your body get used to your medication routine? Hello,

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2010. Ever since, I've been taking medication for it. I take my medication daily since 2010 and I do consider myself in recovery.

However, lately, I've been experiencing a lot of depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts mainly due to the fact that I am single and have never been in a relationship. I am getting older and I am afraid that I'll never have a family and children. But aside from that, my life is going very well. I work, I am in graduate school, I have friends, I have good links with my family, I am considered successful and I'm passionnate about the things I do. I am functionning but I feel very depressed and I've been trying to manage the symptoms on my own since last summer. 

I am going to call my psychiatrist tomorrow because I see that my feelings aren't going away, instead, they are getting worse. Is it possible that my body has gotten used to my medication and therefore, the effects of the medication aren't as good anymore? Has anyone experienced this?",5.9300282885431415,7.29805413861386,7.269816124469589,68.64049504950496,67.01980198019803,10.721923620933524,33.73550212164073,10.7630783206399,4.1052789250353605,864,39,144,25,14,295,109,202,0.08199999999999999,0.856,0.062,-0.7213,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,3,4,8,0,1,8,0,26,12,2,4,4,25,42,11,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,10,0,0,1,9,10,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,3,1,0,7,5,28,5,19,35,4,18,0,2,1,0,8,6,0,1,9,109,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648896578296713,0.07508037859555065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088406967104432,0.0,0.0,0.0654559210454784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385429112140107,0.0,0.0,0.10964375241905104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184967018647863,0.10898522570396912,0.0,0.0,0.12306315384525893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712849331023356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245064459763548,0.0,0.10858590662709157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295907517651117,0.0,0.16829989101273413,0.0,0.18307418687743052,0.18012518690478288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875264506702983,0.12112574515593827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584343298765774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128794398136607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5408543155086944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656312670824387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105124606785045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528253448495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108671088043702,0.08556543414735322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26646967873535266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745282784712124,0.0,0.0,0.2232112876539695,0.16146803111009228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133639691676243,0.0,0.0,0.08524521166375934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290182152332947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854782166304404,0.0,0.17719426604325936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654466872572458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078171613615569,0.0,0.10942616676194596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jjrob96,2018/01/12,"Why am I such a shitty person? I’ve always had problems with my mental health. Ever since my best friend committed suicide, I’ve been trying to deal with my depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I’ve gone to therapy, but my therapist dropped me because she thought I wasn’t telling her the truth and I would never get better. I just let it consume me. This was years ago. Flash forward to now, and I have an amazing girlfriend. She’s everything I could ever ask for. I’ve had some anxiety flare ups and it upsets her greatly and strongly urged me getting help. So I did. I went to a doctor and I was given sertraline and everything was great. I moved in with my girlfriend last month and everything has gone down hill since. I’m never happy. I’m constantly stressed over money and trying to keep her happy, but instead of keeping her happy, all I do is make things worse. I get irritated at the littlest things, like when her sister comes over to visit. I snap at her when she starts stressing out, I’m always worrying that I did something wrong and I ask to make sure until it gets on her nerves, I always think she’s not attracted to me anymore or that I’m just here to be a roommate and I can’t shake any of these thoughts. It eats away at my happiness everyday. We had a fight last night and I realize I need to get my shit together but I feel like I have no control over myself anymore. I feel like I’m just making things worse and I feel bad but I can’t stop myself from continuing to act this way. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m lost on how to get better. ",2.26633743065376,4.2513917634069385,3.7115892526922716,87.92170347003157,77.73817034700315,6.769890133797455,24.81116066572392,7.753152298057669,1.3235207005330154,1227,44,251,19,29,404,166,317,0.25,0.625,0.125,-0.9923,0,0,1,0,1,1,31.0,1,0,0,7,13,30,2,4,7,0,23,4,1,5,8,58,57,24,1,5,10,1,3,3,3,1,2,0,0,1,12,19,1,4,7,0,1,9,8,12,0,0,17,3,51,18,34,36,3,43,0,3,0,0,25,14,1,2,23,166,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461065151610456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21010580264742426,0.0,0.0,0.057237738371938025,0.0,0.12877795645825654,0.0,0.16694586416779364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737311933509904,0.0,0.07907945235528945,0.0,0.07027751588225442,0.05130858029980101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833006789180055,0.14888110452706185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250405464960659,0.0,0.09095667950520264,0.09440257853743328,0.06720201787859735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677444020362404,0.07249455035943042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615043583823083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612579763543793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522711778799745,0.0,0.0,0.2269367406200585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276749747146294,0.12026055816007016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502868346064296,0.0,0.263848658289444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18559301910037054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583974372670493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946760493699618,0.0,0.0,0.05641663956170994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962637154924313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372177749803062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860684030138656,0.0,0.12336201922378692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416346968937843,0.0918802972520944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855018328339694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848224546077444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671828130761453,0.08945822050141382,0.0,0.062410172955912835,0.12983248927705898,0.0,0.0,0.07898681102671731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349303705920918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053827017877263,0.09838894008968088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639816645738684,0.13925076795171992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647973314506351,0.0,0.0,0.05957518073630012,0.0,0.0,0.07036896935356954,0.19283038147398607,0.0,0.0,0.0920671155913559,0.0,0.0793281922869374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735673286195928,0.0,0.0962544727061193,0.09772658038365324,0.16775423175051424,0.05393203262052443,0.0,0.1336414099126229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429031641102848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964499804545898,0.06680935519384358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780254136848618,0.07594934074428332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547760375104736,0.17155059999243755,0.059791171737999936,0.0920254792512724,0.0,0.0542020121064235
mentalhealth,fayeryder96,2018/01/12,"Feeling anxious, emotional drained and need help? Hi everyone, i’m Faye and I’m a 21 year old female in the UK. So I’ve been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression and been taking Sertraline 100mg anti-depressants for just under a year now. I feel like my heart is constantly working over time and always exhausted. I’m not talking about abit sleepy like, I can sleep for almost 15 hours straight and still be exhausted. I’ve tried everything and I’m still exhausted, I still feel low in self esteem and low in mood and honestly feel like I’m in a constant dream state? Like I’m not actually awake in the real world. Maybe I’m just strange but I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice to help me out? Or someone who can relate with me? So I feel less alone. Thanks everyone for reading x",1.8611111111111107,4.438781611464972,3.369628450106158,86.4392692852088,83.20382165605095,7.310544939844303,24.645789101203114,8.344100000000001,1.935521160651097,631,25,123,15,18,207,97,157,0.122,0.725,0.154,0.7188,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,13,0,0,5,0,7,6,2,0,0,29,24,14,0,3,8,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,12,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,6,8,6,16,20,1,24,0,3,1,0,6,12,0,3,15,61,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.12831296226676506,0.0,0.0,0.12848819296447386,0.0,0.0,0.1316658708723136,0.1361815329569256,0.0,0.0,0.10940824372124802,0.0,0.0,0.08941609918825529,0.0,0.10058767917337616,0.14854359856608784,0.0,0.09193921007417227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841828383791946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265002108722318,0.1334571794710169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790588911736874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512841357853986,0.11817260596429027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33242048945509217,0.1878695822500871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558134779235122,0.17626677721393338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948883211412768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569528627028012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320970002588797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974964136269579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797415199401253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152321519316304,0.14966171240119355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477861955836568,0.0,0.13717027736873105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158259156822974,0.0,0.11140904455452247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31501858014451256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988623360070104,0.10568477855941427,0.0,0.12105614633619001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667149606509444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927147157753416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755481253623119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957245626684245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693474490280381
mentalhealth,Yodel21,2018/01/12,"I have an obsession with violent and gorey imagery... It started ages ago with a picture of a dead body. Nothing too bad, now I have moved on. I find whatever I can, and keep pushing myself to see what the worst I can withstand is. I dont know why I do it. Whenever I feel emotional (any emotion at all, or just feeling weird) I decide that I am going to go and binge on pictures  or videos like this, and afterwards I get this feeling of emptiness, that feels much purer than having a hazed mind of feelings. And, to reiterate, by emotional I don't mean upset, I mean as in odd. I don't often feel happy or sad, just the same- but when I start feeling quirky, or slightly confused, I use this as a method to clear my mind. Am I damaging myself doing this?",2.968662280701753,4.415681348684217,4.565789473684212,84.88885964912285,74.32894736842105,7.435087719298244,28.456140350877188,8.07648339933343,1.8979324561403503,583,24,118,9,12,196,97,152,0.161,0.7340000000000001,0.105,-0.8871,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,7,11,1,3,7,0,13,1,1,1,2,35,31,13,1,0,7,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,12,1,0,4,3,9,0,0,0,8,20,2,17,31,4,15,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,8,86,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670340785397965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720082001982876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934490018321064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876875628392367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751895982264978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4823484978147578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059062321401362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064015987474495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074677729170606,0.0,0.16246670706075778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521571509734985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704735044447885,0.0,0.0,0.07855343374974237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983090625707851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113966155174749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28864755972846223,0.0,0.0,0.15191746979498374,0.10507379948552067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715015478004833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390082808439653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023405041886461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345009802347702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289767627144589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinotgrisplease,2018/01/12,"Mental health backslide after increasing dose? I have anxiety and depression. I began taking an SSRI the day before Thanksgiving and about 3 weeks later, I began to feel noticeably more energetic, brighter, happier, and more motivated. My anxiety has basically stayed constant, though, so at my last appointment a week ago we decided to taper my dose up. First week was fine (25mg higher), but now that it's been increased another 25mg (double the original dose that helped) I've been experiencing an emotional backslide. I'm feeling noticeably more lethargic and less motivated the past 2 days since my dose was adjusted again. 
Has anyone else experienced something similar as they adjusted to a higher dose? ",7.7133792470156095,9.988523735537193,8.377300275482098,58.94756657483933,63.710743801652896,12.650505050505052,38.237832874196506,12.06081838636515,5.971836730945822,576,30,79,22,9,192,85,121,0.065,0.747,0.188,0.9284,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,1,3,5,2,0,0,7,0,7,6,0,3,0,14,13,8,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,6,4,9,1,8,7,7,22,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,17,49,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463442569986052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829201522173589,0.2668989606051873,0.0,0.0,0.12197557299917038,0.17873889167298873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484393268171936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851241227691695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250043992867468,0.0,0.15024869684699713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572590300503913,0.196226458335766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640864934661918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838230838290928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542622838762104,0.0,0.0,0.11692639698579765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421954600229724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579891460792135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972121867463677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652690833524345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430220144794545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429581342805585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859345083782316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116047084549814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713907267376822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197863002041345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mnemophobic,2018/01/12,"A depressive fantasy. I quite often have this fantasy where I just give up. I don't end my life, per se; I'll fantasize just ending *living.* Just decide one day to not fight anymore--just lay in bed, sleep, force myself up to use the bathroom, and eventually probably wither away from starvation/dehydration. Of course, loved ones would have me forcibly hospitalized and kept alive through tubes..but I could just lay there. Not even watch TV or talk to anyone..just lay there, zoning out whenever I'm not asleep. There was a time where this was close to my reality, but because my depression was so severe..and I *wanted* to feel better and not be stuck in that state. But with this mild depression I deal with now, just feeling like everything is a bit more work, slightly less worth it, and positive life experiences just not as uplifting as they are for other people (though still enjoyable)..it's almost appealing to choose to just stay in bed (which would inevitably lead to my depression worsening and it being less of a choice). 

And legit, what pulls me out of those fantasies are stupid things like, my cat--who only trusts me and would be a *mess* if cared for by anyone else. Or, the idea that I could *never* continue figure skating--all my success down the toilet. I just picture my cat, or the rink, and **bam** I'm like, ""can't do that."" And then I just move on with my thoughts and my life, until the thought pops back in a week or so later.

It's weird. But this fantasy happens a lot. It's typically more of a passive fantasy, the way one might momentarily fantasize about being a movie star..something that will probably never happen but seems pretty appealing. 

I assume this is common for most people with mental illness, just thought I'd share in case anyone ever thought they were the only one, living with well-managed mental illness, who has this kind of ""fantasy.""

edit: re-reading this, I used the word ""just"" enough times to be slightly annoying. Sorry.",3.394087103407756,6.006042578804347,4.12913631022327,83.1735605170388,77.0163043478261,7.347943595769683,24.89159811985899,8.358175599149588,1.8595110752056403,1551,55,281,31,37,494,204,368,0.1,0.7659999999999999,0.134,0.8771,0,0,1,0,1,1,83.0,0,0,2,5,26,19,3,0,17,0,26,8,2,3,3,74,45,26,0,7,25,0,2,3,0,5,5,0,2,0,21,18,0,1,12,7,1,3,9,9,0,4,10,3,26,10,41,23,8,38,0,4,1,1,9,15,0,12,20,194,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571480331748816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367083437967914,0.09793836666866897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980547262014825,0.07349914384250006,0.0,0.058267870680116726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453737069518395,0.10435431777928282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745551518664736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263406098212345,0.0,0.0,0.06164456753968784,0.09854417780770083,0.32930968354023105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984919671395298,0.0,0.16932028999130128,0.0987650969499387,0.0,0.06313314473015827,0.08646231535911172,0.0,0.0,0.0859058438033352,0.09350069897481628,0.0,0.0,0.09666153136298533,0.0682861093587577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169406505219092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905141125021134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790409307388278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953731083290844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254402999801105,0.1400943495409396,0.0,0.16880702340056722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126314670393622,0.08626940443245618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926548654036054,0.10140082671391082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159197531859916,0.0,0.0,0.14744244824296288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25908410984340224,0.145393753448346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253353013892613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724454519447373,0.20611409525612676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166666082366252,0.09561109944812887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701720594407386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565426323859004,0.0,0.0,0.07358618202493725,0.0,0.1069998423592296,0.0,0.10188114006671938,0.07633449032798846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768277893614245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350258133933208,0.0,0.09391200584120804,0.3035359912434521,0.11147303575798888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510990248066698,0.0,0.0,0.05637864679016796,0.07587110861206113,0.07667270808096797,0.0,0.08594260354623529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958718783963505,0.0,0.0,0.2037030205641419,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seltzerforever,2018/01/12,"Women who have dealt with phone addiction? For an article in REAL SIMPLE magazine (U.S.), I am looking to interview (email or phone) women who have dealt with feeling addicted to their phones—checking social media in bed, bringing phones with them to the bathroom at work (etc)—but who have now tried to develop HABITS FOR COPING. You don't have to feel ""cured"" of phone addiction, I just want salient anecdotes about how this manifests itself, what it did for your well-being and what you've been doing to deal with it/feel better.

My email address is charlottelieberman@gmail.com

",7.655473833097595,9.452058960396043,6.393578500707214,74.92267326732674,63.35643564356436,9.335785007072136,32.25035360678925,9.606745405546679,3.177358132956153,469,18,74,9,7,140,73,101,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,2,2,4,1,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,1,0,12,15,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,7,1,18,13,0,5,0,0,1,0,18,3,0,1,1,50,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7090793442484843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917547844215192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22352620404585213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24180545260572195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288837402193852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820695533780219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24678233995557186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101505377745356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720279685244006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788279517476786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19494225193085274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784352048045375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ADD-Qs,2018/01/12,"Does this sound like ADD? What to expect from meds/treatment? Hi, I was recently diagnosed as ADD and was looking for some feedback based on my symptoms:

Background - 32 yo male. Married. Ivy League education. Graduate degree. Diagnosed OCD since age 20, been on Prozac since. Generally successful but feel like I could be doing better. Feel behind compared to peers. 

 - Level of interest in things is super high or zero. No middle ground

- have serious short and long term memory issues. If I don’t memorize something it tends to disappear. My wife, friends, and co workers are regularly reminding me of things that I can barely remember. But never lose my keys or items. Always seem to remember or be able to deduce where they are

- I fidget (tear fingernails, flip pens, tap foot) all the time when bored or sitting still 

- regularly am bored at work (at every job I’ve had) and get up and socialize regularly in search of stimulation 

- switch jobs regularly as I get bored after 6mos. Hope to be entrepreneur

- grades were always good. But probably could have been better

- often interrupt ppl if they are taking too long to get to the point of their message. In general, very impatient. 

- impulsive with eating. Am prob a good 20 lbs overweight due to snacking/ eating at night. Eat healthy throughout the day until day quiets down

- always exhausted despite 6-8hrs sleep on the regular.  Metabolic issues ruled out by PCP. 



Thoughts?

From those who have gone through treatment, what was your experience w the various drugs and therapy options?  What impact did they have on your cognition, energy levels, anxiety, weight?

Any and all thoughts would help. Thanks!!",5.057600574712642,8.087573763888889,5.36852011494253,74.26125,73.5138888888889,9.111302681992337,29.722701149425287,9.581879112588783,3.5107814655172422,1316,57,205,37,29,417,201,288,0.087,0.74,0.173,0.987,2,0,2,0,0,0,57.0,0,2,4,7,5,18,0,0,6,0,27,14,2,2,3,43,41,20,0,7,9,1,3,2,1,1,7,2,0,1,10,11,6,0,9,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,11,6,16,12,37,24,6,39,0,1,1,0,14,21,0,11,17,125,26,9,0.10824996755067602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27021793417878104,0.0,0.0,0.07361368998401745,0.0,0.08281092888307649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19147659891653648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285758141837504,0.0,0.0,0.13962454754761602,0.0,0.0,0.2197428768400405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473027608725497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255355952686378,0.3323002243151007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120526644426176,0.0,0.0,0.10588923980478523,0.0,0.0,0.10946887228243883,0.0773337984475692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363365640399759,0.0,0.16966842057774725,0.0,0.0,0.1815898737931663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255767143783376,0.11437203405292175,0.0,0.10751664290982588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596968379679355,0.2148427791000778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577093245639096,0.0,0.0,0.19159562970905167,0.09090270929157616,0.12110402441987025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348904837389963,0.0,0.0,0.10158526149240064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233120881704033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671177381037985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688378358290124,0.0,0.24525222232978236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854670487368432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909098356443634,0.0,0.10832814438263412,0.11034720967805238,0.0,0.08333611363542713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644856391815342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251316445745263,0.08139050372342498,0.0,0.0,0.09966202627884982,0.12379327197241635,0.0,0.14383293680990636,0.0,0.0,0.17187676519304998,0.06312142660197838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931756008302526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181929776567347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880726562778327,0.0,0.0,0.07689767110470204,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SchleppyJ4,2018/01/12,"New job/imposter syndrome/etc. Background: mid-20s, female, diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, OCD, and chronic depression at age 11; currently take 20 mg of Prozac a day; live in the USA

Hi fellow anxious friends,

I just started a new job recently after completing a masters degree. I was feeling pretty good about it the day or two beforehand but the day of, I realized I had gotten in a bit over my head and may be a bit under-qualified or unprepared for the job.

Basically I am expected to jump right into the thick of things and take over responsibility for some major projects, with little supervision or guidance. It seems like a pretty hands off kind of office as well. Previously I had been in a pretty supportive office where they had you shadowing and lots of structure.

I feel intense social anxiety and obsessive thoughts over whether I am capable of doing this job. I get very down on myself saying I will end up quitting anyway, or that I am not good enough, that I somehow misled them into hiring me. etc. I put a lot of pressure on myself and feel real or imagined pressure on me from others. I've been overeating and compulsively eating and pulling my hair out. I am also having troubled sleep, waking up numerous times a night and falling into spirals of anxiety and obtrusive thoughts.

I am left wondering how to address this. As a new person in the office, I am afraid to look weak or incapable or ill. I don't want to let anyone down. I just don't know how to help myself. My spouse is supportive and believes I am capable, but it's hard to explain to him how/why I feel this why and the intricacies of the job.

Any advice?

As an aside, I am lucky in that I can potentially take breaks from working (or work part time at a less stressful job) because my spouse makes enough money to support us.",5.7154782608695625,6.751654402898552,6.6089855072463815,74.39608695652177,67.28985507246377,9.478260869565217,33.55072463768116,9.653516015845867,3.342594202898552,1439,64,251,30,23,478,199,345,0.12,0.742,0.138,0.8643,8,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,1,2,4,10,19,0,6,20,0,24,11,5,3,0,56,46,29,0,2,14,2,8,1,2,2,5,1,1,1,11,18,1,0,12,0,1,4,3,9,1,1,9,10,36,10,51,33,11,48,0,1,1,0,15,28,0,16,16,184,47,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795395673279986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509262853982645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535230652327478,0.0,0.1245359638949864,0.09195470250373387,0.0,0.05691421772737966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049618457067147764,0.0,0.0,0.09170580856613528,0.0,0.0,0.17772745686654176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534252021799188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748172837906582,0.0,0.07010655359383487,0.08261557787550765,0.0,0.0,0.09328726443825036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328878264371714,0.0,0.0,0.07209300289736932,0.1682083681982045,0.18155688402784045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646257530263825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288661505681084,0.0,0.04252623130823628,0.0,0.0,0.13654278651028667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291513820177957,0.0,0.08353613390824588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545582550054754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846398828387075,0.0,0.0,0.08476176881863216,0.04473330309851802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843736816121439,0.08323327862178298,0.0,0.039766143198703086,0.08158052234366643,0.07187446482485117,0.0,0.06835243050030379,0.0,0.0,0.13840052532575273,0.0,0.0,0.05433269305081873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358392947245337,0.0,0.0763849568415224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550107428381703,0.0,0.08814431077147616,0.0,0.0,0.07107214977980618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484280393856657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182580961612736,0.0,0.0865750333135233,0.0,0.09264686174899887,0.0,0.0,0.08036907201001088,0.0,0.0,0.06951203479672173,0.0,0.0647296414003379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410017642385787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145512953184376,0.08297332432885451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761275268891315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323923940695952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27710282676983583,0.0,0.0,0.18359976702000216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407611551719047,0.0,0.0,0.129239213429733,0.09492572792418573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951240275302804,0.0,0.09790978224744257,0.0,0.0,0.06716051001790592,0.04800967381525453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318509041987245,0.0,0.14689508386233846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827086517093256,0.11851501872103636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trashdemon_,2018/01/12,"Therapist is weird I was in the psychiatric hospital for two months I was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, anxiety, and psychosis. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a month. (Once a week) She does not believe in diagnosing a minor with something that could go away when they are an adult (like recovering from depression) she refuses to diagnose me but I need a diagnosis to get medicine. What should I do? They can not accept the hospitals diagnosis because it was in a different part of the state.",4.398666666666667,7.242475755555558,5.747777777777783,71.665,74.77777777777777,11.111111111111114,33.33333333333333,10.746095033038511,4.8290000000000015,398,21,67,16,9,133,66,90,0.094,0.906,0.0,-0.7028,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,1,5,0,0,10,0,10,3,0,0,0,11,14,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,4,1,9,2,12,8,1,10,0,2,1,0,6,4,0,0,5,51,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318439071485329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192435818108747,0.0,0.0,0.10506027402543533,0.0,0.0,0.19417446545433495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376039323663575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29688201394814345,0.5247814480783568,0.0,0.18006446311520918,0.0,0.0,0.1508207901186258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004345920039662,0.0,0.09794797238161264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419935137718307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751292166081157,0.0,0.0,0.1277920736533894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18354243211931354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663348259504312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146277574813548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733712420577504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268005777090436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002130347276501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683566018658971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824523922422094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HelpHimOut24,2018/01/12,"Course of Action to Help Family Member With Severe OCD I'm new to this subreddit, but hoping that you guys can help me work out a course of action to help my younger brother [24M] with his severe OCD. We're in Canada for reference.

Some back story - my brother has stunted cognitive development due to complications at birth. He has always been a very quiet person who has difficulty making friends. Through his teens he showed signs of mild to moderate OCD (counting, repetition, rituals) that was noticeable but not life altering. He graduated college 2 years ago, and although at that point he still didn't have any friends and lived at home with our mom, he seemed to be functioning and content. 

I came home for the holidays this year and immediately noticed a drastic change in my brother. He had lost 20 pounds, wouldn't speak to or interact with anyone, wouldn't sit on furniture, and wouldn't leave the house. All he did was stand silently in the middle of the room mumbling to himself, and then cycle the house to make sure everything is in order. His hands were raw from washing them so many times. I was shocked.

My mom broke down when she saw my reaction. I don't think she has any idea what to do - she says he's been like this for months now. She seems to think it will get better with time and gets frustrated that he isn't ""snapping out of it"". I know he needs professional help ASAP - in my opinion away from the house and without waiting another day. It hurts my heart to see him like this, and I'm very very worried.

Reddit - where should I start in getting him the treatment he needs? I know his GP is aware of his OCD and Anxiety and has referred him to CBT in the past, but this seems to have escalated to a different level.",4.951554726368162,6.300986029850748,5.2818097014925405,82.0559483830846,69.29850746268657,8.687810945273633,29.48072139303483,9.075114841892004,2.367639303482588,1380,52,267,26,24,438,193,335,0.08900000000000001,0.795,0.116,0.8769,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,1,1,1,3,6,12,1,0,12,0,28,4,2,2,2,50,51,19,0,7,6,5,1,2,2,5,2,3,3,2,14,19,0,1,10,2,0,3,8,5,0,0,12,6,30,7,48,33,2,44,1,3,2,0,44,20,0,7,20,158,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878007317892642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241648634503937,0.0,0.0,0.1347130795107414,0.10386124015399112,0.07577201502469376,0.0,0.0,0.06925718203609324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305955175568977,0.0761623671793414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760056145769232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132853717239493,0.0,0.0,0.10478043357142043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387824323001959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348485189541706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901862085116519,0.0,0.09337433700057132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304962171264444,0.0,0.1552466357596967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807382506345444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737323385223385,0.2655611303723893,0.0,0.19870792440783264,0.09837774786309464,0.0,0.3428668424142224,0.10603372479097027,0.11181397125465277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088691943587725,0.0,0.0,0.10487831419665902,0.0,0.0,0.06996105431172843,0.09678042247995347,0.0,0.08746185211514945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812340023606053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223160620976093,0.10041987608928267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320093744630368,0.07905975932234935,0.0,0.0,0.14688677139995004,0.0,0.0956618903454494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22553529405953235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945532299697433,0.0,0.08648553931768399,0.0,0.0,0.09363307472287576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876753360764564,0.0,0.0,0.07892902193079475,0.2705107587743361,0.0,0.2237937662916237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701072080036157,0.0,0.07910045174494085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335226529698873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269328664136491,0.0,0.0,0.11551223369606825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451767512764753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547945083907497,0.0,0.07210866241622073,0.10058880345408557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756828229458164
mentalhealth,adamgamejohn123,2018/01/12,"i think i have every mental illness there is. ive been reading all of them and i seem to fit them all. obviously i dont believe i actually do have them all. like schizophrenia i know i dont have that. or at least i really dont think so i feel normal in that regards. but depression, anxiety, psychopathy, capgras disorder, sadistic personality disorder, schizoid, bipolar, agoraphobia, hoarding (i think). i never throw anything away. ocd, some sort of eating disorder. i hardly ever eat and mostly eat the same stuff. just 2 minute noodles. some sort of sleep disorder. i hate going to sleep its something that really disgusts me. id like to stay awake forever. pyromania, substance problem. i only like to be around other people when im high or drunk. 

thats probably it. ",2.5399406968124545,5.4988494507042285,4.526145292809493,75.92385841363978,86.1830985915493,7.496515937731652,28.600444773906588,8.371475516178862,3.015233802816901,610,30,99,16,19,207,93,142,0.254,0.682,0.064,-0.9854,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,0,6,7,2,0,1,0,11,8,2,0,6,27,19,7,0,2,4,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,3,4,0,6,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,2,19,3,11,17,8,12,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,8,6,68,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.11049321547878974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661834247352561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317617062616873,0.1007960324801784,0.0,0.0,0.10638049049877034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756805158534404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752224624767747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190717904649241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39810359018967423,0.0,0.0,0.3475784539791223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242030078129204,0.0953986280652951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725097156523198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434951147784124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142914889375912,0.11178821767265693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963053848819075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230458616467454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062226596182718384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595097364843348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410618128639548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732763999121225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093841628808984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611423310867487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849734282534891,0.0988654460513602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207785289878716,0.10834294409434217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325763742082592,0.0,0.14507222671381306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307760518467844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266175355406287,0.0,0.0,0.08716767374361932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068491303101213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961782177110365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176538625226069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,northernlaner,2018/01/12,"Drug like experience while driving While I was driving a weird feeling came over me (like the feeling you get after smoking week) and then visually the road started breathing almost. This lasted for about 10-15 seconds then stopped and everything went back to normal what the hell happened? I've never had anything like this happen before. I would consider myself to have good mental health, not depressed but I am very stressed about college all the time.",8.412625000000002,9.617800012500002,6.8750000000000036,74.27,61.375,8.4,38.5,8.238735603445708,3.437825,371,18,55,4,5,110,64,80,0.11,0.772,0.118,-0.3266,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,8,1,1,5,0,5,3,1,0,2,13,13,7,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,4,0,1,4,2,6,4,7,8,1,18,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,15,38,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894308019619736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349158288835694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276786412346632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905674347752486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272298631941013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111742518191658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303984960295772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855517203958268,0.19434106752376007,0.0,0.0,0.20091085306884893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379884377593956,0.0,0.0,0.16663813051037696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513731136663817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111809248847929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194563748175025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911859028044928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002164294850212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532294576619792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465811011740952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406223154954277,0.0,0.0,0.16610016599574126,0.22758012989305276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584827176081765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392666532646394,0.0,0.0,0.15936411280097834,0.0,0.0,0.18417257328047693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113214449485026,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zdenipeni,2018/01/12,"Is it too late to start fixing my deteriorating mental health Hello, this my first post here, I have been dealing with depression and bullying since a young ago and it has taken a tool on me and my mental health. I have been dealing with suicidal thoughts every day for about a year before that it was less common. Now with no bullying but with the stress of life and loss of direction at 20 i can tell on myself that mentally I am not gonna make it far and that makes me even more scared and even more stressed. I make noises sometimes i lash out sometimes and my temper is less tolerant to everyday bullshit. I spend a lot of time alone in my room listening to music and daydreaming of a better tommorow that will never come because it hard for me to even be average and quite honestly I am growing tired of it. I am taking the most important step so I want to know if i start breathing peoperly, meditating or anything can my mental health impeove or is it gonna only get worse from here on out, be honest with me",7.577164179104479,6.392860970149263,7.864920398009954,74.47529104477614,63.67661691542289,11.22407960199005,34.52786069651741,10.355215969177356,3.3594015920398013,809,29,156,16,10,266,120,201,0.205,0.7,0.095,-0.9754,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,9,9,1,3,7,0,17,6,1,3,1,31,32,14,1,2,5,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,1,0,12,17,0,0,2,0,1,3,3,6,0,1,5,2,22,3,26,22,6,26,0,2,0,0,5,9,0,5,13,115,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380946962501672,0.0,0.0,0.1212889130149868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637017823481626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138815169018126,0.0,0.09965056434649587,0.0,0.0,0.103572802167563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087845777910523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552518544152921,0.2414670943491649,0.10086523399265784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23204684468825065,0.0,0.09866881980903598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961228662537967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061184269541790064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490606226257623,0.0,0.0,0.3734420392425628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435967613580268,0.0,0.13210329838259416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271707757446674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956131528419927,0.0,0.0,0.2345121611499677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4720706143798452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032116445892446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906616291984384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121574094797469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245591252949367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724586916410552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687322166610568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23164626785880466,0.0,0.16577975903922845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682943952591459,0.0,0.0,0.1280975067933941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880508906901894,0.0,0.10235784315702984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297093378131356,0.06828680963599927,0.13459879929035495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907352786648284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934339425533895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541392569346551
mentalhealth,80FromTheWaistDown,2018/01/12,"Do I have anxiety or depression? Are my emotions rational? Howdy,

I'm 22 years old, male, just graduated college and moved back in with the parents a few weeks ago. I've been putting off looking for a job because I'm in the process of seeking treatment for some physical health problems. What I keep telling myself is that I'll get on the job hunt once my urologist decides what bladder medication to put me on, mainly because if I were in HR, I'd be a little sceptical about hiring someone who smells like piss, and can't stay at his post for more than an hour without running to the bathroom.

However, that's not the least of my issues. I've got worsening problems with my legs and back, which are really disconcerting when combined with my urinary issues, but I'm not able to see a neurologist until April at the soonest. Furthermore, the jobs I'm applying for are all quite physical (wildlife biology) but as it stands now, I can barely stay on my feet for 2-3 hours at a time, let alone a whole workday. I'd have no problem waiting until April to start a serious job hunt, but my father's insistent that I get working so I can start paying him rent soon.

My mother (who takes lorazepam and escitalopram for her own anxiety) keeps telling me I should talk to my primary care doc about getting medicated for anxiety, depression, and as she puts it, my ""OCD tendencies"". She used to work as a psych nurse, so while she won't come out and say it outright, I believe she thinks all of my problems are psychosomatic.

Here's a little rundown of her observations, followed by my own rebuttals:

-"" You only leave the house to work out and get food."" Valid, but if you had the physical stamina and bladder control of an 85-year-old, you wouldn't be keen on leaving the house either.

-""You spend too much time researching what could be wrong with you."" On the contrary, I think it's crucial to do my research, since most doctors only seem to consider the first few possibilities before slapping a patient with a diagnosis of exclusion.

-""A lot of your health problems could just be from anxiety."" She says this because, as a kid, she took me to a paediatrician who, after doing no testing whatsoever, decided that my constipation and nocturnal enuresis were just caused by anxiety and stress. Furthermore, most of my recent health problems arose this past summer, when I had no responsibilities, and the lowest stress levels of my life.

-""You're too worried about the side effects of psychiatric meds."" I don't sleep well, so I can get pretty lethargic as it is. Furthermore, my dick hasn't worked right in months. I will not take a drug that makes either of those problems worse.

-""I can tell your 'OCD tendencies' are getting worse."" I keep careful track of how much fluids I drink, and have alarms set to go to the bathroom every two hours. These aren't compulsions,  they're strategies my previous urologist advised me about.

-""Your outlook on life is so negative lately."" Look, some days, I can't feel anything below my knees. Each time it happens, it lasts for longer, and the region of numbness expands. My bladder issues are steadily getting worse too. So, when I say, 'I might be in a wheelchair soon', she thinks I'm being dramatic. I think I'm being cautious, but realistic.

-""Something to take the edge off would make you a lot happier."" My body is falling apart, and no one knows what's causing it or how to treat it. Being happy in this situation is unrealistic. Anxiety and sadness are normal human emotions; anxiety disorders and depression are when those emotions are exaggerated or don't have a proper stimulus.

To be perfectly clear, I'll admit I have some anxious tendencies. They've gotten a lot better since I quit smoking pot and drinking caffeine and alcohol. Even at their worst, though, they've never interfered with my life to the degree where I'd consider medication.

TL;DR: I have loads of physical health problems, which are quite disheartening and do make me a bit nervous. Mum wants me to start taking psychiatric meds. I say what I'm feeling is rational. Which one of us is wrong?",6.911740812379116,7.668222621870883,7.156569954867827,72.51655705996134,64.5467720685112,10.306741793513305,36.57054354834189,10.248730204955812,3.9135869761444235,3266,155,562,73,47,1058,364,759,0.184,0.764,0.052000000000000005,-0.9985,9,1,5,0,0,0,123.0,1,9,1,12,31,33,2,4,40,0,60,27,10,10,5,102,111,49,0,17,19,4,2,1,0,6,14,4,1,3,31,29,4,5,12,2,3,10,18,24,1,4,8,10,75,9,84,85,25,80,0,5,3,1,42,28,2,15,38,384,106,19,0.049446913613069535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043831705461939936,0.052843712885698384,0.0,0.051212090094241235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26478727500290783,0.05586093787837937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069059675346975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604324878525001,0.0,0.09042713876660394,0.0,0.042075681547448215,0.05570973899014485,0.0,0.043731776829947035,0.05398322302712635,0.05492437401538202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082884778513168,0.10159120211969534,0.0,0.04259413774870995,0.0,0.0,0.0554589181734633,0.07895867397611192,0.0,0.0,0.03188916863932942,0.0,0.12776566271899353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667044688027186,0.05061101132810802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968783014083796,0.057342721435068265,0.0,0.0,0.16686336732624507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03265922009648352,0.0,0.04166115734690802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000369047257133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205951945930942,0.05979140421495235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083780061712046,0.0,0.0281018205108788,0.0,0.03954721387789477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372574240709743,0.05263715900273504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023902771507996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608574875987707,0.11411019887955852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482919330172462,0.19627372790814265,0.13185206630321947,0.0,0.0,0.027174730573235918,0.0403058341862979,0.05577827231150061,0.10471428389107908,0.0,0.050562819300257814,0.10477745221162564,0.024157264331264527,0.09911759522119587,0.0,0.0,0.08304590782311916,0.0,0.0,0.12611399314640295,0.0,0.0,0.0990185963949021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984874803076404,0.1494376901580542,0.0,0.05245536131250303,0.0,0.0,0.03946805469487896,0.05255424383100158,0.0726983418808119,0.0,0.03813650808393077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844747676697731,0.0,0.0,0.1037724359414998,0.052659349225235935,0.06701301672079699,0.07521321193200584,0.0,0.0,0.05490494591960953,0.0,0.04720267407857321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557439655634433,0.04735647485194118,0.0503052876308193,0.0,0.3785121470092652,0.0,0.14912341653094854,0.0,0.15777863750520996,0.0,0.0,0.031676959021118084,0.0,0.0488228618728,0.0,0.0,0.0422273940522155,0.0,0.1572886814356112,0.0,0.0,0.03940278823612965,0.04501461305714079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180599582207486,0.055580402645556914,0.04948262358272442,0.0,0.04189620944305418,0.03806664985696966,0.0,0.0,0.10499633987159483,0.10540766158065927,0.0,0.0,0.1132825449601779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871170117080654,0.039743556146387235,0.12965634587628752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673434265756614,0.048581341569147736,0.0,0.08649867890798023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054937340412022515,0.0,0.0,0.04830244968240993,0.0,0.05947854883863014,0.042706257293794674,0.0,0.0,0.029165070774344482,0.0,0.03966333150855363,0.0,0.044458713673746784,0.0,0.0,0.055205713197905015,0.0,0.0476650602057719,0.0,0.14399176808085384,0.050215740984376984,0.15117188801919046,0.035125668729465494,0.1081248754587,0.0,0.0636843823721457
mentalhealth,leros,2018/01/12,"App for tracking activities that lead to wellness? I'm a stressed out person who doesn't do a great job taking the time to do things to relax and work on my mental wellness. I know there are things I want to do like hiking, massages, reading a book, etc. I tried putting those into a weekly or biweekly routine but it was too complicated and easy to throw off. What I think would be more beneficial would be to set very loose guidelines or checkpoints like 'get a massage at least once a month"" and have something trigger if I'm not meeting that rule. I think this would help prevent me from slipping into an unhealthy state of ignoring my wellness.  

Is this a good approach? Is there an app or something that can help teach things like this?",7.014718309859156,6.962673816901411,6.373345070422538,80.98353873239441,64.35211267605635,8.508450704225353,35.3556338028169,7.6454224807358475,2.5014619718309863,590,25,111,5,8,181,96,142,0.094,0.6609999999999999,0.244,0.9701,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,0,1,10,0,15,0,0,2,0,23,23,8,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,13,6,0,2,3,3,0,4,2,2,3,0,1,0,8,9,15,17,3,16,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,4,7,79,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878835575541105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375551291030035,0.0,0.0,0.13446067011533874,0.0,0.17674266689205986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149052239477211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908323214179845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881023460092658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234958538596866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615550726247494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795814853323825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072523289830896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997676669957984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115612512251953,0.0,0.0,0.16035367788625315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468293952776401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836349020277213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053339146148515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195091113419508,0.2054407288046972,0.0,0.0,0.09347822257099432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088401676977849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227278295825948,0.09455516586709806,0.0,0.12859124939727767,0.0,0.4324146248282266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167078045149015,0.0,0.0,0.34163950349426153,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Car_93,2018/01/12,"Are some people just born bad Just wondering because I swear I'm one of those people. I constantly do bad shit just because its fun or I'm not meant to do it no matter what the consequence.

I shoplift even when I have a wallet full of money, I got charged with burglary for breaking into peoples houses, pulled a taser on someone, assulted a cop, been in many fights, I used to light fires. I do it because I fucking love being bad.

I'm going to prison in a few months, probably for 2-3 years, yet I'm continuing to break the law.

Sometimes I think I might be evil, anyone else love doing really bad stuff or is it just me?",4.568681102362206,4.882575503937009,5.653218503937008,82.80691437007876,69.55118110236221,8.55472440944882,29.260826771653534,8.472884824447931,2.0071740157480322,487,17,100,7,8,162,86,127,0.238,0.6659999999999999,0.096,-0.9572,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,11,4,0,6,0,11,4,1,1,0,17,24,3,0,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,8,0,1,3,2,11,3,13,18,3,16,0,0,0,3,3,5,2,5,7,63,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959918734338148,0.16060295346306344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5234994306556117,0.28664942376124786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938479305058166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093966399601462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035280641280911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490748480311558,0.0,0.0,0.08908133958408943,0.0,0.1253626535582477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086175898217727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829355158070916,0.0,0.0,0.1589140142429232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662808234176947,0.0,0.0,0.1251117229802554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062139247659884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260000717370564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899675568660896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041434655306827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089566621104606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280884984793218,0.0,0.15502401921994494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943460536320793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043535267470073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537666027299847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998239587816288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093812409946784
mentalhealth,ultimatedisaster,2018/01/12,My therapist suggests I start reading before bed to help calm my mind. What book(s) would you suggest? I just recently started going to therapy to help with my anxiety/depression/ED. I have difficulties falling asleep at night due to a racing mind. I’m a 28F and I haven’t read a book in probably 4-5 years. Any suggestions are appreciated =),2.03557264957265,4.88832913846154,4.291282051282053,77.15982905982908,88.38461538461539,8.427350427350428,28.76068376068376,8.841846274778883,3.390555555555556,274,14,48,9,9,94,51,65,0.059,0.7190000000000001,0.222,0.8859999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,0,0,6,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,7,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,25,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521209306111579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19034879467035545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271315749515854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29987738705934464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517383227381831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20992351447070404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411820905753896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4475130110525665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22087278370915311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166663181568698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25581583724349005,0.2597282627906197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890719909323606,0.0,0.0,0.1440528706610951
mentalhealth,ritzcracker1,2018/01/12,"I'd rather just talk to random people on the Internet and get it out than go to a therapist I've had 2 serious bf's. My current one of 5 years and my first one of 3 years. 

My first bf told me he could get girls prettier than me, but my personality ""made up for it"". Keep in mind he was nothing special.

My current bf told me ""I know there are very pretty girls but now I only see you"". I know that sounds cheesy but I know he meant it and it's the first time I've actually believed I'm beautiful.

I've gained weight since dating bf 1, and I still just think sometimes ""omg if he saw me he'd laugh""

And for some reason I just realized tonight that I've held that deep down about myself and it's impacted me a lot subconsciously. Like I let him assess my self worth. 
That's fucked up. I legit wouldn't get back with him and have found someone who suits me so much better, it's fucking bugging me that I'm giving him this power and he probably doesn't think about me at all (he prolly does)

Basically, like I said in the title, I'm looking for a therapist that isn't in person and will listen to my shit.",2.80286576168929,3.7096566923076963,4.503021618903972,87.294592760181,73.95726495726495,7.899044746103572,24.021116138763198,8.313332769828598,1.18940754147813,862,24,195,14,17,292,131,234,0.062,0.785,0.152,0.9706,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,6,11,9,3,0,6,0,11,4,1,2,1,38,38,14,0,4,8,0,1,2,4,2,0,3,0,5,14,11,1,2,9,0,1,1,3,4,0,5,10,7,30,5,22,23,4,24,0,0,3,2,27,10,3,4,15,113,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.12439731428356054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802048741946706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362079098557634,0.0,0.11274137149758998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017784988512289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155432370174732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32529077838371434,0.0,0.1397698733142276,0.0,0.23569736151661802,0.1998014435602463,0.12228573667671655,0.07244704001612864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330573073229305,0.0,0.0,0.2101709523592539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130351931888398,0.0,0.12455579488238565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704698303990944,0.0,0.0,0.1083747759868946,0.0,0.1206200268692518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871351730164285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370886988098334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231580157345814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727608608877723,0.09695056184118356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837518741359998,0.22261269003609174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968801023414045,0.1374397239532579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106563921382236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125801666105802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015811546794574,0.0,0.13298433613219554,0.0,0.13085136374055212,0.1054487244089186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800924306203018,0.0,0.1260761386876853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180178377179194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245966098196144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960168448298917,0.0,0.16336180053488164,0.0,0.0,0.0743317590374947,0.0,0.0,0.2436158519104324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518031215885576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523033628176425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641795767762164
mentalhealth,vernon55,2018/01/12,"I really need answers, advice..anything. Please... From the United States of America, Washington state. So its gonna be a bit of a story, and one filled with grammatical errors and probably spelling errors. I want to tell you guys my story here, I reall would like to find answers and attempt to better myself, advice is always welcome as well. Ever since I was very young, i have been very advanced for my age, My mother tells stories of me saying my first word by four months old, starting to crawl at 3-4 months old and walking by 6 months old. I have an apparently insane long term memory, being able to detail events accyratly from as far back as nine months old, I used silverware propely before a year and a half. By the time I was four years old I, looking back noticed i was far from a normal child. I hated cartoons and most toys, rather then having toyboxes filled with them I settled purely on Legos, lincoln logs and Erector sets, Instead of watching cartoons I was glued, fascinated by documentaries...I watched them in droves, Even early in life I was watching documentaries about world war one and two, vietnam, korea, medieval conflict, the romans, alexander the great, sciences and current day events, sociology and literature, culture and politics. When I was in first grade I baffled my teachers by scoring at near high school and college levels in all subjects but english and math, Grammer brought be down in english but always has, however reading was a strong suit to me strangely, I have always failed to grasp english and math my entire life, even now after years and years of trying i am only capable of up to a 7th grade math level and my grammar is quite poor. By ten I spent time locked away in my room drawing idea's for radical inventions that i believe some, to this day could theretically work and if so benefit mankind as a whole...Things, even ones i havent looked into in depth seem to come naturally to me, The first time i layed eyes on a computer or any electronic device I could take it apart and put it back together functioning in no less then ten minuets (depending on the device of course) I built my own computer at eleven using parts form junked computers behind old repair shops in town without ever looking into knowing how to do it, the first time I saw code it was like, Seeing a native language, I just understood it, it flowed so well it was so clear to me, It flies from my fingertips and am now capable of pumping out what takes the normal man a month of work in less then two or three days, and just as accuratly...It was insane, even in other aspects of life thigns are bizzare with me, most kids in their teens? In and out of relationships romantically trying to discover themselves sexually, things like that all part of normal developement yes?...not for me. I have been with the woman I am currently married to for Eleven years, I am now Twenty-Two. We got married last year and had a child at fifteen we share similarities in our personalities in some ways, she can use mathamatics like she knwos the answers before the problem, My son, now six exhibits nearly the same traits that I did when I was young. Most kids start growing at 13? I stopped, I have not grown and inch since I was 13 years old. Not one. I am 5'10, pretty normal height but...why so young? There are many, many odd things about me that...just dont seem right, this isnt normal and its not how a normalperson lives there life or how it plays out at all...but then...then there are the bad things.

See, I lived my life thinking this was normal until about the age of twelve when I realized I was different...I couldnt make friends no matter how hard I tried, I noticed I could look at somone for about 30 minuets and legitimently picture what upbrining they likely had and the longer i watched, 2 hours passed and i could tell you what traumatic events they likely had and what problems they went through..this led me down a very dark path as it became extremely easy for me to ""read"" people and then flat out bend them to my will...eventually the good in me would cause guilt, I would admit my wrongdoings and they would seperate friendship with me...Can't say I blame them at all. I have has a single friend I actualy know not online that has been my friend since I was around seven years old. We didnt hang out, outside of school until I was seventeen because I was hold up in my room researching and coming up with ideas, studying new sciences and theorizing the unkown....I am isolated and closed off, I cant even tell you why I am so magnetized to my wife, I just feel an attraction to her, not lust or emotional, but like I NEED her there, I simply feel like a magnetic force overcomes me to need her at my side. I attempt to emulate what other fathers do with their children and gradually pass on skills and knowledge to my son, as stated he is much like myself as well, very isolated and not needing stimuli socially. I have in fact gone the duration of summer vacations during school, completely locked inside my room with no other social contact or going outside at all...I didnt need others like people normally do. Why?
then at sixteen. the major problems began to vear their heads. I noticed...was it my desire to live the way I was? No. I legitimently cannot, stop thinking, I can't barely sleep. I barely eat, I cant stop even now I sleep for 3 to 4 hours a night and have since I was an infant, I eat a small plate of dinner and thats it, entirely, somtimes going a day or two without food at all.. I thought for sure I was going insane, I must have some kind of disorder, somthing had to be wrong with me. Maybe My intelligence was a lie to myself and I only thought I was that smart perhaps? no, Dead end, Ive taken a plethora of challenges and tests at many levels and passed nearly all of them at my local college. I noticed I have NO motivation to do anything else in life, I dont want to hang around others unless they can carry on a conversation at my pace and at my level, I cant wake up in the , usually i sleep from 6am to 9 or 10 am like stated prior, I cannot change this no matte rhow hard I fight it and have been like this since school came to an aprupt halt for me. I can rmember all of this logic and come up with these insane idea's, but forget to put pants on, door my laundry, cannot manage to take my trash five feet into the kitchen...I have hardly the motivation to blink at those things and I know not why... I have horrible paranoia, extreme anxiety, I am highly succeptable to addictions(thankfully avoided most besides cigarettes), I give into the curiousity even at a dangeirous level very easily, I show all the signs of severe depression, I do not dream AT ALL and NEVER have, I am completely incapable of relaxing, my muscles are constantly stressed, With everything i excel at for the life of me i CANNOT grasp portions of english and mathamatics is a disgusting uphilld climb to me, and my sex drive is ridiculasly and outragious high and always has been...I have been to many, MANY psychiatrists, psychologists, Consulars, therapists...I get a new diagnosis every time, and then the next one comes along and just, Replaces it with their own, continuasly playing this game of ""Well I think you have Blank"" and the next in line going ""No no, actually Its more likely Blank2"" and continiously repeating the process...listen, I have tried everything i can, I have spent hours,days, months and years into figuring this out...nothing, I cant...for once I cant. I am pleading and begging at this point...r/mentalhealth...what is wrong with me? What can I do? How do I fix this..? I just..want the bad things to go away, I want to function without depression and paranoia and anxiety...To feel love for my wife and my son. I feel like I am a machine, a computer, like I have no humanity, no emotion or passion for life. i have been on more medications then most elederly citizens, entire fistfulls at times three times a day and nothing helps the symptoms, not even eases them. its like it doesnt work. Even Valume has little to no effet on me....Just, any kind of advice or answers you can think of..I humbly ask your assistance. Thank you in advance.",6.122219168260036,6.582841108986617,6.464750836520075,77.8235316085086,66.20841300191205,9.392821861058,31.70385197578075,9.2995712137729,2.7155972434671765,6456,241,1207,112,96,2085,616,1569,0.112,0.77,0.118,0.8212,6,1,1,0,1,0,257.0,4,7,15,21,54,60,4,3,63,0,125,25,7,14,16,236,192,106,2,31,32,7,7,16,3,6,10,2,4,12,53,95,4,7,33,10,4,32,42,17,4,25,49,21,185,43,200,128,32,238,0,3,12,4,75,103,0,21,112,829,238,28,0.03387848463489418,0.0,0.03306051397349538,0.0,0.0,0.06621132618074428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275845266020447,0.0,0.0,0.04607706258893607,0.0,0.025916948016203825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055758212441098964,0.060318067961801926,0.03167180987436847,0.0,0.06365990305200253,0.07815139047053463,0.056574239129776126,0.020652009784705744,0.0,0.0576561903119937,0.03816945080051934,0.0,0.029962766553712307,0.036986530770712615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038747961091031936,0.0,0.034802535978128483,0.035838944616964505,0.11673325882769142,0.07104189314908617,0.03661060633815811,0.0,0.10819685305431423,0.0,0.0,0.13109291935440642,0.0,0.05835897834680905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03882767848585027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941066335661659,0.0,0.0,0.0693322951089157,0.028301126720255625,0.07621747058977484,0.030006281719531017,0.0,0.0,0.2013877762717439,0.061290057864222335,0.02854408447195932,0.0,0.06089559498508613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851991906387664,0.04840559238481942,0.0,0.0,0.030964321195794786,0.11526808689443635,0.040965998097393964,0.0,0.07852329956911354,0.0,0.017700109938844584,0.03249932950275949,0.09626961773997574,0.028415665557932717,0.02709571902099473,0.03735114891152814,0.0,0.03354502615631198,0.0,0.0,0.09104540346096364,0.03344798969262016,0.03476909917845522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022708034122962656,0.1073834372239303,0.0,0.0,0.06672696612865196,0.0,0.0,0.11473405634841854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055845677113404,0.05585618746926748,0.027615486678549017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143500482757086,0.2648210611880146,0.03395514180142265,0.08974596784566889,0.029981392808142437,0.11379757831569652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030576655087342777,0.0,0.02261415156453641,0.17173732990678686,0.034035491393582154,0.0,0.0,0.03412900907230446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224889929585415,0.0,0.024904584315050014,0.1256023354202697,0.026129175892759253,0.0654401031411616,0.07206030550447681,0.031792662838359534,0.2323560530117546,0.06501463942992862,0.11571263790573386,0.28439816519835553,0.03607948046203515,0.11478468985339027,0.0515322283756452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337419485072713,0.0,0.046974151093609404,0.02958138602912028,0.0,0.03718840261111615,0.03202611847394126,0.0,0.0,0.03446659840876663,0.036526736452786174,0.09725140321891178,0.0,0.06811446871662552,0.0,0.036033938594312004,0.06777530526795203,0.0,0.021703424765291482,0.0,0.0,0.03637281382893821,0.0,0.02893204076930448,0.0,0.05388306152894713,0.0,0.13714734054594346,0.05399353198363717,0.06168340004942045,0.0,0.03827304451016823,0.0,0.14012316290292395,0.0,0.10170885381399128,0.06906969733420483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795873159236312,0.0,0.0,0.08497179039868384,0.03880768968581993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03193007083299094,0.03521271737574138,0.07641721264801794,0.0,0.11844515530221254,0.06238151386770272,0.0,0.0,0.11253679908552744,0.08683186000314723,0.0,0.0537914650733001,0.1382837178391431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200506889982414,0.0,0.13237742700775934,0.0,0.0,0.08778039977560362,0.03731236450907848,0.1397664893286202,0.07992963199572238,0.05378232837904074,0.0,0.0,0.12184330531684237,0.03140569467056036,0.12228025168718012,0.03782411822442353,0.0,0.09797295069448353,0.0,0.07399182091502271,0.0,0.0,0.0962652138536747,0.07408160922928064,0.0,0.19634970019609851
mentalhealth,NowHowCow,2018/01/12,"I cant talk to anybody about my problems. They stem from too disturbing to share details about trauma from many years ago. I feel I can't ethiccallly share the unfathomable dark memories I've been harboring for years because it's some taxing things for one to hear. Also why I can't open up and share with anyone - I'm pretty sure to produce too disturbing of content and allow someone else to observe your disturbing creation, is literally illegal and I think my past harms probably would fall under the umbrella of what's too disturbing to talk about or read without being illegal? I can't talk about my problems and that stinks.",8.919774011299438,8.306990355932204,8.580000000000005,68.57672316384182,60.69491525423729,12.273446327683615,40.00564971751413,11.538034831475384,4.799792090395481,514,24,86,13,6,165,76,118,0.249,0.633,0.118,-0.9623,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,1,8,13,0,4,2,0,8,0,0,2,1,17,12,6,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,1,1,1,5,9,0,1,1,3,11,4,20,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,4,56,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740205129531934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569922320429066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372673108527247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196711901214833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399515358064987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926225518586572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221260141677288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990315797104764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302744464757466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740392301295056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997219105556944,0.2116596916294252,0.3756919636560932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636712181565094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633621213770658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502361838299566,0.0,0.0,0.4733692623380014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042229612926956,0.12579008211992662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771428471164636,0.0,0.0,0.1892396871063059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394558305615835,0.0,0.0,0.2528395546263011
mentalhealth,zoeszebra,2018/01/12,"Does any ever feel convinced they are an alien? I posted similar to an alien subreddit & got told I was mentally ill for thinking it, so I thought I’d come here & see if I could find anyone.

I very much do. I feel very different to everyone else. I am able to read & manipulate people in an exceptional way. I have knowledge & experiences that no one else can relate to. I hear & see things others can’t see. It’s something I just know deep inside. I have always felt this way.

Is there anyone else who can relate? 

I have been diagnosed with mental illness but I think I just come across as unwell because I suffer so much being in this world. I have seen many professionals but none of them know what to do with me.",2.727061007957559,4.741541737931037,4.140689655172416,85.24212201591514,76.44827586206897,7.220159151193633,22.877984084880644,8.139509932561175,1.2515782493368692,572,17,115,10,13,189,94,145,0.078,0.908,0.014,-0.8229,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,16,3,0,1,1,23,33,6,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,10,1,0,2,3,1,0,1,7,8,19,1,14,24,3,11,0,1,4,0,5,5,0,1,1,76,28,2,0.11075036601398333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215317655047668,0.5999898765256837,0.0,0.0753140466813832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487846198249744,0.1134768378540718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751239517439149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908032676269119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842515542286368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112409290227303,0.0,0.11571056047079704,0.0,0.0,0.09691839163238307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27755315888433546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018004663776252,0.0,0.10582672082902916,0.0,0.10833510929074804,0.0,0.0,0.11199742546567053,0.0,0.1063377193500729,0.0,0.1012238281247294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885771849398597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124823711589188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173100957798814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122834881808772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22322064035601988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282852424143046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504731425307587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678035902253758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606823641260027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078033663589487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647611084447584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526104253089749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357762203996053,0.14192872527596087,0.0,0.08792341967917235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582672082902916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18276130135632945,0.0,0.17581697107337602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayworkadvice3,2018/01/12,"Colleague that struggles to come to work with condition that appears anxiety-based Hi /r/mental health. I have a co-worker that  seems to struggle to come to work. I am in a quasi-supervisory role to her. I am not her direct  supervisor but am the person that is most aware of the situation. Most are aware that there is an issue, but the department is chaotic and she kind of falls between the cracks.  She is a developer and can thus work from home. However she struggles mightily with coming to work even when she has said she will. When this happens, she shuts down a bit.. It is not about her work performance which is uneven but overall strong; it seems like she is battling some form of anxiety/depression/something that keeps her in her apartment.  Whenver the topic comes up in any form, she apologies but shuts down completely and won't say anything. I don't want to pry but I worry about her. What can I do to try to help her? ",4.830243589743591,6.202391827777783,5.215555555555556,82.33115384615384,69.6111111111111,8.427350427350428,29.401709401709404,8.841846274778883,2.2572991452991453,739,28,143,13,13,235,102,180,0.103,0.835,0.062,-0.6739,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,7,6,7,1,3,10,0,19,1,0,1,0,25,30,10,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,1,1,11,9,0,1,2,0,0,7,4,4,0,0,1,2,21,3,25,27,6,18,0,0,0,0,22,9,0,6,3,105,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667808746915676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488982898519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915477980552896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391866603777784,0.13364079831403086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418701823088227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271364908011165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354854525521732,0.0,0.0,0.08543465478788463,0.0,0.12785412459718415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303653180385802,0.0,0.1132935025888123,0.0,0.13273137965104578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062271176306607036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845105954506472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129433265160683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124493029361358,0.10136237984566104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23207204819356125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327189556204653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812597288085197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997508272349071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653788850268039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518000545423556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5567602763648836,0.12944318600505073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katiecski,2018/01/12,"Can BPD symptoms become more and less intense I'm not gonna give a whole backstory about this questions, but basically can a person with BPD have very intense mood swings and emotions for a few months and then less intense miss swings other months? Or does it need to be pretty consistent in order to be BPD. 
(I know there are many more symptoms of BPD, but my question is mainly just about mood swings)",6.027532467532468,6.942773571428575,5.43418181818182,83.53127272727275,66.53246753246754,7.718441558441559,29.685714285714287,7.554174236665415,1.7585812987012988,323,11,60,3,5,98,55,77,0.019,0.873,0.107,0.6970000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,0,13,13,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,8,10,7,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,40,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610194648468856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7344963543069943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275864578881326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400009973629345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398601459369413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012528925424536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781356040926566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23274485023554595,0.0,0.0,0.1081053746687789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730284071548212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832624417653745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266482270495537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030743013076189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029639930223784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277525646659327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KennethRuby,2018/01/12,"Anyone got any advice on Anxiety and Insomnia OK, here's the thing, I have major High functioning anxiety and I can't help with that. I've been in counseling but many thing can't help cause of swarming thoughts filling my head with things that I don't want to think about. And I get frustrated and usually I pull out my hair because I just want to focus on one thing without being overwhelmed. And well, today, I had a panic attack during class, and I had to keep it low, cause I just hate crying in front of people, maybe because of what my uncle said stuck onto me. And well, I just need some new, techniques to help cope with this anxiety, I don't want this to get out of hand. Its gotten to the point where I don't talk to anyone, I can't face anyone without the fear of messing up, making a fool out of myself and my tic coming up during a conversation.
And for the insomnia thing, it gets to the point where I get very little sleep to no sleep at all and I see how it affects my concentration at school. 

But thing that I don't feel like this way is whenever a depressive episode. It's where I feel like nothing. No thoughts run through me, I feel, almost empty. And I lay in bed, ignoring whatever is going on. Sometimes, it may last for a few days, but during those times. I look like a huge mess, I feel gross with myself. 

Please, I know someone out there is feeling like this. I just want to know how you deal with this",4.3633600437078846,4.959595294117649,5.081897650701149,85.71949918047717,70.10726643598616,8.160335093789838,26.62921143689674,8.20500826718156,1.5058470588235298,1116,33,234,15,19,361,147,289,0.251,0.67,0.079,-0.9937,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,0,14,20,3,3,11,1,16,8,6,6,1,57,46,16,0,5,9,0,7,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,22,21,0,2,10,0,0,6,11,13,2,1,9,10,33,7,42,35,4,37,0,3,2,0,8,24,0,3,10,157,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224816375543574,0.0,0.0,0.09452957923215184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419633407538937,0.0,0.2166509268924912,0.0,0.0,0.19802340847332156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739546315749388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509269427999735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939529215440192,0.0,0.08131863079321798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369573922909366,0.060881230797137885,0.09732391794235967,0.081307971032636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622805994511288,0.23866146016540346,0.20232159377706185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972837862417087,0.0,0.053650612209203474,0.0,0.07550159374535881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320204890722418,0.09688328990383226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982623407548854,0.09974048724547407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390849121296541,0.0,0.0,0.10376131548558336,0.0769499142897309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844794389986468,0.09461521651706836,0.0,0.0,0.07927357934790419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301380978296386,0.09570841876156168,0.09483910879540693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999759995312609,0.0,0.09117366618302374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905808937924108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396897616765677,0.0,0.0,0.11075995300583516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544619225005154,0.0,0.0,0.1036246229084292,0.17848007534966487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979755180737882,0.0,0.0,0.09553947231602247,0.0752258634204709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889395776265112,0.0,0.07998618043249958,0.0,0.09336560919619212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587644073803272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376297422306823,0.06048874190265732,0.0,0.1498886720734404,0.05504633975467819,0.0,0.08948169112531397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397003986719687,0.07789121734195709,0.2227220690648981,0.07493160644320745,0.0,0.0,0.16975677470481507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18199957259268928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jerhxff,2018/01/12,Do I have ADD? I have always had a little trouble telling a story and paying attention but recently it’s gotten worse. It takes me 5 minutes to tell a 30 second story because in the middle of it I will completely forget what I was talking about. I’ll give more detail when someone comments.,3.440526315789473,5.535845684210528,5.21038596491228,78.01136842105265,74.6140350877193,6.665263157894738,28.94385964912281,7.554174236665415,2.1449396491228074,232,10,38,3,5,79,47,57,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.8245,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,5,0,4,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499001850080876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183079527759722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148922643481269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881057078657386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010114458992074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965415012838425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544702291052539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258121985892509,0.24139539047739256,0.52500660527033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30606384594931235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dwill517,2018/01/12,"Therapy hell Today was kind of a watershed day for me. I was pushed to a point by my therapist that either I change and try to make the best of an uncomfortable experience, or look elsewhere for treatment. 

I left. 

I was duped by my therapist into participating in a group for people with depression, and was told that it was ""experimental"", only to find out after asking to leave that it was mandatory to seek treatment there. 

To me, group for depression should be more like an AA meeting. You talk, discuss, see if you relate and actually ENGAGE the people in the room. Make them want to talk!  What did they do?  Reviewed packets on thought patterns and didn't give anyone time to digest the info and try to apply it. 

How is that beneficial!?

So, I wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same boat I was in today?  If you want to discuss, light up my envelope!",3.7358003442340784,5.719178277108438,5.241514629948366,78.60240963855424,73.4578313253012,8.11635111876076,26.314974182444054,8.841846274778883,2.132574526678142,678,24,126,14,14,228,100,166,0.112,0.809,0.079,-0.8398,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,2,1,4,7,1,0,10,0,15,1,0,4,0,25,27,11,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,8,8,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,12,4,16,4,29,13,4,17,1,2,3,0,15,11,1,4,6,94,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.14446589244828353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070263175242081,0.1516846924001287,0.0,0.0,0.1383976148290125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535906977708944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660691550788325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547369007112304,0.0,0.2550136363881355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366860152904705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481173462053598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530607234939035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201366150420405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541611003898408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675320983292196,0.16084612415871824,0.0,0.0,0.07232497008043183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431649371067235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976359829342419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259125263607095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20526488684293487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399458517402844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359377652357288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23797823046190555,0.0,0.0,0.169296884950035,0.34377219407321874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752739255876375,0.08632343847974493,0.0,0.2806496233298822,0.1414587672711536,0.0,0.20101917349250506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26195385895805096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mybeautifulrescue,2018/01/12,"I was recommended hospitalization Sorry for the rant I'm just upset. I went to see my psychiatrist today, as you do. And we got to talking about how I'd been feeling with the new medication and all that good stuff. I told her I recently tried to take a whole bunch of pills and she said she's concerned for my safety. I know I'm a horrible person and I probably should go because it'll help but it's scary. Now because I didn't go she said that police will show up at my house to check on me and make sure I'm safe. I'm so frustrated and tired and I feel horrible. I hope you are all doing well and taking care of yourselves. ",0.9111038961038956,3.0660480757575783,3.1947186147186137,88.95136363636365,83.39393939393939,6.498701298701298,20.79220779220779,7.7094869923839395,0.7944116883116878,494,15,109,9,14,169,89,132,0.174,0.647,0.179,-0.3149,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,2,0,0,6,8,1,1,4,0,9,3,0,2,3,23,29,12,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,5,10,0,1,3,1,1,3,1,2,1,0,8,5,20,6,14,18,4,10,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,1,4,69,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166525561134289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811803505610439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797042486982055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198575322073065,0.1490490911288846,0.14212555695129422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911077150210934,0.0,0.0,0.17649946632146904,0.0,0.2050457412708582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766108251386424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861832799492635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790173724062692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162694776029394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516366114965746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915942056360604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754605635950098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380730506571842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160651723240802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989242877788185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342775539393326,0.0,0.0,0.1674832506609936,0.0,0.2672215218413819,0.14283117566690676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042437941425553,0.1684419435041489,0.1698031118099645,0.0,0.1206488712257252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977660175325986,0.16473273298402472,0.0,0.19839938053212208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dandy443,2018/01/12,"how do i find the right help? well to try and sum up as much as i can, im high functioning autistic, and also majorly depressed. ive been struggling with depression since i was like 10 years old and im currently 26. things have changed in the last year and now suicide isnt an allowable notion, it had always been my fallback and for a while the quest. Well for the same reason that its out of the question i figured i cant continue my lifestyle and decided to enroll back in college after dropping out in 2010. Its become very opbvious after one semester that i wont do well, not because the subjects are out of my reach but because i just cant deal with all the things going on in my life. so obviously have a real need for working coping mechanisms. add on to that im not exactly an introvert, i do like being around people and crowds. but the social issues associated with my asd make this borederline impossible. ive also never been in a relationship. the emotional pain of this lack of social interaction also holds me back largely. 
ill add more details to any questions asked as i dont feel like writing a book from blank, but all i know is that by myself i cant do this. any advice would be appreciated. ",5.4884999999999975,5.967392516666667,6.776666666666667,74.97500000000002,67.58333333333334,9.733333333333334,32.25,9.725611199111238,3.0542,964,39,181,20,15,328,143,240,0.085,0.8220000000000001,0.092,-0.3064,1,1,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,1,13,10,0,1,15,0,25,3,0,4,5,45,31,19,1,3,6,0,1,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,16,0,1,8,1,0,1,9,4,3,1,5,1,20,6,33,22,7,29,0,2,0,0,11,14,0,2,16,136,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133425037036784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27333712942768434,0.09480158851958942,0.0,0.0,0.15495702981704124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142474509548677,0.10651220610231824,0.0,0.0,0.17521526855162742,0.0,0.13890529978180052,0.12583032004876873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052626833368828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174601748815984,0.19626107741403576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352891697242186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815956789740215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760807300242199,0.08139393443330176,0.0,0.0,0.10413292369799056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475088987200578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636705386517488,0.12037673084192699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692023734624825,0.11891670909802746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626147329482748,0.09287080278610342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047442177394312,0.1669860885045266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605132708946565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375404588431537,0.0844800590195702,0.08787234386076563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955377710843725,0.0,0.07720411679377555,0.0,0.1212330077164084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898696794737134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552626230132649,0.0,0.0,0.12968097826653646,0.0,0.11714235348813293,0.0,0.12232166896797425,0.0,0.09729837043113658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424675928547672,0.0,0.0,0.23228119476175846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910776734136798,0.0,0.12462448012143275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138437349604594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735319594923735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940068608432457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30731901570135595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294476076620558,0.0,0.0,0.08093490977574576,0.0,0.0,0.14673855126037735
mentalhealth,waterlilies_,2018/01/12,"Has anyone ever felt too depressed to take care of themselves (eat, exercise, shower, etc)? All I can do is just lie in bed. I have a happy life, I'm in a loving relationship, I'm taking classes I'm passionate about, but I've been diagnosed with depression all the way back in 2007. I recently added lamictal to my list of medicines, and I think it's made me so apathetic that I can't do anything to take care of myself. I haven't cooked for myself, only eating a handful of dry cereal and some carrots in the past two days. I don't know how to be a regular human being again. Any help is appreciated.",3.5314663023679422,4.716608303278691,5.752404371584699,77.96463570127506,72.52459016393442,9.028779599271402,27.489981785063755,9.444778638647367,2.4507511839708562,471,17,93,11,9,166,86,122,0.08800000000000001,0.742,0.171,0.8556,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,6,0,13,9,1,2,3,14,26,5,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,3,3,0,3,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,2,11,5,15,21,4,11,0,2,0,2,4,4,0,1,6,62,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188174777755436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217022604273768,0.0,0.1437819556039822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343510281634179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562830253799674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268173473413085,0.0,0.3009769383341901,0.1773399376593146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575700346492612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486207881783693,0.0,0.1580467520924964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776126316822196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18599564181141295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711299237114417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602306715981032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341186239714133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769412510957986,0.16532691331796667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328845428878899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679265801566126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251766054907253,0.1875868710342476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941093444465821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195529854164783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067876192323567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868680527452032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DartEco,2018/01/13,"Sometimes I feel like the world is connected in strange ways. Like the way a friend tells you about a random old idea or thing, and then in the same day another person starts a conversation about that thing. 

I mean I’ve been struggling with my mental state for a while, but today felt like a lot of people really struggled. 

I’ve been feeling really optimistic lately and have been trying to proactively be working through my issues, but today got dark. Really dark. A kind of darkness I haven’t felt before. All of a sudden today I feel more disconnected from my being than ever. Breathing feels odd, watching videos that let me go mindless aren’t amusing, food tastes like nothing, and my body feels numb. 

It seems that there is an overarching darkness today. And like I’m not the only one. Am I?",5.358581818181818,6.960030373333336,5.540181818181819,79.63009090909092,68.6,8.121212121212123,27.63636363636364,8.575989854853784,2.0691999999999995,636,21,112,10,11,201,100,150,0.138,0.716,0.146,0.0698,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,4,11,0,2,12,0,12,5,2,0,2,24,25,9,0,0,4,0,7,5,1,0,1,0,0,1,6,5,2,0,10,2,0,1,3,3,0,1,6,9,11,8,13,16,4,19,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,4,17,71,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748567328851573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345436132863714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504632191706353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840808404167396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997472704712044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30736875028875565,0.08685571519393492,0.2334688803374818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701322256716778,0.0,0.0939312588683707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909587168175722,0.0,0.09723744461396013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724734450818493,0.0,0.12689638225661698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660531405373585,0.0,0.0,0.1371458601685103,0.0,0.0,0.12432226847673496,0.0,0.2969856055712076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336170550877674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243464447077455,0.0,0.0,0.1225225472453673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665786384494672,0.0,0.12757619946973706,0.0,0.08238474803714489,0.09246593896674504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428723393008065,0.10615766953377412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336589291370801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068051361284877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024425979248225,0.0,0.08605389846556259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25420052217932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062649806374097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154272576612516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4609688645305485,0.0,0.0,0.08254383085772969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19300673190900244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851060669443521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BreadmanFTW,2018/01/13,"Experience with dealing with Guilt Hi all. Country-USA

I’ve been having a complex thing in my life where I’ve been tending to feeling overly guilty for scenarios that I’ve already revealed to those around me who are affected by it. They don’t seem to care at all, and when I think about it, it really isn’t a big deal, but for some reason I have to think about t every day and feel bad. 

This has been happening with a bunch of situations in my life since. Little things that even after i admit guilt to, affect me for days and weeks afterword.

How can I overcome this?",5.304962406015036,5.5923713508771975,5.8737092731829605,81.95763157894739,67.94736842105263,8.970426065162908,28.56641604010025,8.841846274778883,2.0186731829573934,450,14,91,7,7,146,79,114,0.111,0.8390000000000001,0.051,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,2,3,0,10,2,0,4,2,23,19,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,9,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,9,1,21,16,4,13,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,5,66,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130308530478585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852489859278695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744419449912434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044659358206848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258666000915885,0.4134999952858937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245610054835755,0.0,0.1689652854599904,0.0,0.0,0.19616855833309807,0.0,0.0,0.20280012301141875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733862951153834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832974925986904,0.0,0.20099576964704854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284723412491773,0.20619057763172946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18256590621660432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589041587729106,0.22541761192058474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664623894442185,0.2569984338938339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086269699212716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Whiskeychick122,2018/01/13,"Relaxed Body Response Hello all, I'm a clinical mental health and art therapy grad student currently in holistic psychotherapy and it was recommended I try relaxed body response to get rid of my eczema. I have tried meditation (trust me, look at my freaking grad program.) with no success. Outdoors aren't an option at the moment and I already exercise and lift. Any ideas on how to achieve this or any ideas outside of deep breathing? I was told this is different from self care so I'm curious to hear any answers. Thanks guys. ",4.008041237113403,6.850577690721654,4.7373298969072195,78.37506701030931,76.21649484536083,7.591340206185567,34.442268041237114,8.548686976883017,3.391479175257732,424,24,70,9,10,136,74,97,0.047,0.758,0.195,0.939,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,3,0,5,6,3,1,1,12,13,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,7,6,11,10,1,7,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,2,2,38,10,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20520789884567672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37937090224392217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131120588440184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895953010211844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942852259272156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715472732020397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18412641957738846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976633305925745,0.20958677331184086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198450743106579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615683644283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740066752218512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399344696254933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120399225141214,0.2126577510700309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776896445903342,0.0,0.2525048548264128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sniggas_barzz,2018/01/13,"What's happening to me, does school give me anxiety or am I just weak   When I'm at school, I sometimes have a hard time paying attention in class, because even though I'll be looking at the teacher the entire time, I won't pick up majority or half of what they say even though I'm really trying me best to listen. If not that, I would be on the verge of crying for no reason and start choking my breath. This could be due to bad thoughts that distracts me a lot, but other times I legit don't know why. Then when I come home, as I do my homework, my mind keep having negative thoughts (negative thoughts that really aren't that bad tbh) leading to be on the verge of crying multiple times while I do my work or choke on my breath. And it's really distracting to the point I'm afraid to do work.

   This is on and off, especially getting distracted easily and crying for irrational reason, those has happened since I think 6th or 7th grade. The choking started this year. 

    I felt like I was about to cry 3 or 5 times once, while I was doing classwork. As I was taking an exam, my throat tightened and I start having shorter breaths. The day before school start after winter break, I cried, because when I go back Im gonna feel lonely and anxious all over again and these symptoms are gonna come back. 

    At one point in bed, I snapped, something triggered me as I was on my phone. I start tearing up I honestly don't know why. I got up and frantically try to look for a blade so I can cut myself. I found scissors but luckily was too scare to do it.

I seek my school counselors so many times for help. They promise me to put me in an anxiety help group they never did and this is after going to them multiple time for help. Each time, they try to send me back to class. I had an anxiety attack one morning, she keep trying to send me back to class. I didn't receive help at the end. I do notice that when there's a break, these symptoms died down or disappeared though.

I just wanna receive help, is seeing a doctor a rational option? My mom thinks my experiences are bullshit and I made them up, that I just need to get off my phone for a bit and it'll all be better,but this happens even when I'm not on my phone, like playing piano. 
So what's going on? ",4.816297852474321,4.9273312265795255,5.611057422969188,84.0315441176471,68.97821350762527,8.648646125116713,28.59329287270464,8.418075326091056,1.8240992219109864,1759,56,370,24,28,576,213,459,0.192,0.7190000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9938,0,2,1,0,0,1,48.0,0,0,6,4,25,18,2,6,18,0,37,8,4,6,3,57,79,37,1,5,14,1,3,2,0,5,4,2,3,0,21,14,0,2,13,1,1,12,11,12,0,3,15,8,59,6,54,53,7,74,0,1,3,0,24,26,0,9,36,249,80,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537974035783247,0.07648605994522199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702288386377966,0.0,0.2082402732901198,0.11305974481036553,0.08254325615317358,0.0,0.05761097509821402,0.0,0.07105099553932095,0.059878538226638175,0.07391505028932148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116641714117149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054056001387595635,0.0,0.3718474060723833,0.0436633711639681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026588939987415,0.0,0.0,0.06929774173784936,0.05924808033991881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059965500307233875,0.0,0.0,0.13415322912242025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622733983492439,0.0,0.0,0.034233092141187436,0.0,0.06500629687618296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423375812274252,0.0,0.0,0.07074491654092536,0.06494768567123478,0.11543294526371653,0.0,0.054148939960814886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961082727504776,0.0,0.06064933580954169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269022599842599,0.0,0.06791246454131904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313175747060596,0.0,0.0,0.12035655480908908,0.0,0.0,0.07441651180812864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615334571633859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370833582840575,0.0,0.0,0.05755937754290435,0.0,0.06406300361480888,0.0,0.06864105993236612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683615709446663,0.07929391071558853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020153415630328,0.05221736967180324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708126239191998,0.0,0.07210237232835065,0.09175573860174767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800401163591082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806105189793102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011842686099942,0.13922163237177568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384080528320924,0.06778334767172108,0.2740795733545029,0.053951189104613266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056005310132355816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052121718206970216,0.06696082183139733,0.0,0.23960560666239605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074041124789932,0.050904856427001696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676376460711634,0.1995560159534297,0.1612478419783672,0.3158291949694813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838658331261481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218435690656508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857839326855757,0.0,0.0,0.048094860310208806,0.0,0.0,0.043599048572147706
mentalhealth,somekindofoutlet,2018/01/13,"The urge to cut ties with everyone over minor things. How do I (22M) get past it? This post will come across as a bit emotionless but I don't think I'm a psychopath, just trying to be honest about how I feel despite the gravity of my actions. Just looking for some advice if anyone has experienced this or knows what this urge could be classified as. 

For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with the idea of running away from everybody and everything and starting a new life in a different city or country. This obsession has always stemmed from things I've done that I find embarrassing, or don't want to be associated with anymore. For instance, my teenage years were, to put it simply, awful. I hated my secondary school and didn't have many friends. I was miserable and retreated into video games and the internet to forget about all of that, and so went through school a pretty big nerd, depressed, anxious, with few social skills and even fewer friends. When I finished school, instantly I didn't want to be associated with anything from that point in my life. I unfriended everyone I knew from that stage in my life, deleted numbers, posts on my Facebook wall, photos, any trace of what I had been like. It was such an amazing rush doing all of that, which you may think is understandable because I had a bad time there, but that feeling extended to cutting off really close friends from school who I'd played video games with online every day for the last few years. I didn't care that I'd cut them out - I was so happy to remove all of that from my life that those friendships made nothing to me, I didn't even hesitate. 

I went through college (UK, so ages 16-18) a ghost. My depression was the worst it ever got at this point and I had no energy to be social. I went to classes, sat in silence, then went home. The few people I spoke to during my time there got the same treatment once I left. That included the one person from my school who joined the same college as me, and was my best friend while I was there. 

Now I'm in my third year of University and have mostly had an amazing time. I never expected to love University but it has really helped me get social and feel normal for the first time. I go out a lot, have a great friendship group, and am getting better and better at talking to strangers etc. I struggle with things still like everyone does but mostly it's great. I feel like a normal uni student. But despite this, this urge I have always had isn't going away. I'll have graduated and moved back home in half a year and know if I don't get this urge under control I will cut ties with all of them the second I go home. And knowing how hard it is to make friends outside of things like school and university, and how these people are the closest, best friends I've ever had, I realize that this is a stupid thing to want to do that I will never really be able to recover from. But I can realize that and still want to do that. It can be the most minor thing, like how I got really drunk one night and there's a video of me talking nonsense, that sets off this feeling of wanting to cut ties with everyone who knows me. If anything, I want to go further and move country once I graduate. 

My parents are great and support me and love me. I love them too, but if it wouldn't hurt them I would cut ties with them in a second as well (in the same way not wanting to hurt your parents is a common reason to not commit suicide). And I don't even think I'd feel bad about it...in a way for this type of urge parents are the worst offenders. They've been seeing me embarrass myself since I was in nursery, know all my secrets and struggles. And I hate that they know all that. 

Some extra context....when I originally cut ties from friends from my school, they ended up getting back in contact with me. And now out of sheer coincidence, two of them live in the same city as me. I hang out with them every couple weeks and still can't wait to get them back out of my life! I have a good time when I'm with them, but in a way see this current situation as a necessary evil that can be fixed once I graduate. They represent the worst portion of my life and know all sorts of embarrassing things about me. 

TL;DR: Thinking my life will never be great enough that I won't want to cut all ties with my past. 
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mentalhealth,PrettyThing77,2018/01/13,"Obsessive When I like someone or something, I can get really obsessive and recently I got in a lot of trouble",3.5571428571428565,6.0207354285714345,6.48595238095238,67.2632142857143,75.66666666666667,11.81904761904762,39.07142857142857,11.20814326018867,6.092028571428572,88,6,14,4,2,32,18,21,0.305,0.583,0.112,-0.5095,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443962214185828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37412713074837584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285341268007221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976906063788664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996724327027528,0.0,0.4618772205746925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963492517212258,0.36012060248197864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,[deleted],2018/01/13,"Psychology over Psychiatry Psychology treats most mental illnesses better than psychiatry. Psychiatry is only necessary in extreme circumstances with significantly damaged minds. 90% of ""mentally ill"" patients should not be given any type of medication. Medication only makes a patient dependent on the medication, and more sick. There should be a large redirection of mentally ill patients away from psychiatry and towards psychology.",12.083333333333336,15.823471619047625,12.362095238095241,28.874571428571468,55.03174603174603,16.46857142857143,50.6952380952381,13.968273953766033,9.936481904761905,364,24,34,18,5,123,46,63,0.211,0.746,0.043,-0.9083,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,5,7,0,2,0,10,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,11,2,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,0,25,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829356046899308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106588305579808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798577181527671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574613315720058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6145993578619569,0.6148250921026391,0.0,0.20533828185498934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30933288454375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throaway2555,2018/01/13,"Been making schizo videos for nearly two years, never posted one here. Figured this would be the right time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsYINCz6rmU&feature=youtu.be

I'll begin by introducing myself. My name's Matthew Frenette. I am a youtuber who does schizophrenia videos. I run a few series with this one in particular being one that I've just started upon and am currently at 239 subscribers.

This is my first time visiting this community, although I've been active in the schizo community on reddit for very long now. I was diagnosed with schizo...ehh...about three years ago now, and have about four conditions I think (schizophrenia, epilepsy - which doesn't give me seizures but instead gives me more voices, ocd, and one that I'm forgetting.) 

This is my attempt to reach out to you guys and start a conversation. If you have time, and feel like it, I'd love for you to watch the video and let me know your thoughts! I want to get a conversation going. Over at r/schizophrenia they pretty much know everything there is to know about me at this point, so yeah. hehe. 

Thanks for your time. ",5.4695074455899215,8.30732458762887,4.245292096219932,83.82235967926692,71.16494845360825,6.991523482245133,25.21076746849943,7.984000788550335,1.4661681557846509,886,28,156,13,18,257,124,194,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.978,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,5,1,2,9,3,0,0,7,1,15,2,0,1,1,25,33,10,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,11,9,0,0,7,3,0,3,2,0,0,8,4,3,19,3,24,25,3,32,0,0,1,1,15,12,0,1,17,104,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535005304740466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543903885912614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497665595400673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361963415350608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722750151252447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720441272705371,0.10908142869495364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987763378062092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977397590086815,0.2929474152991331,0.08677697700306974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118663767815602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517425128139393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613538652879366,0.0,0.0745963903128518,0.0,0.0,0.13512542665638058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780825963762722,0.0,0.10192144501706236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224437112731447,0.0,0.11776357633824887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138655008942036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434095676048173,0.0,0.14623435971283416,0.15534014197345333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130396021892963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614886639145486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057600210212698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783728365603016,0.0,0.1212184289605025,0.35613796467921355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915548135608467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598485082831207,0.09006023915420161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084662592010468,0.0,0.0,0.19665409870591935
mentalhealth,LocalFreak,2018/01/13,"Has anyone ever had a crush on your therapist? I’m not expecting anything to happen of course. She’s married and I’m a patient and I seriously doubt she would feel the same. Just part of why I like going to her is she’s so pretty and nice. She does help me too, a lot, which I’m sure adds to my feelings. I’m just wondering if others have had this feeling towards their therapists. Not really looking for  “what do I do” responses, I know what I do. Nothing. It’s not that big of a deal, just a thought I had and was curious.",-0.07442857142857306,2.1889908818181816,2.599740259740262,90.41818181818184,90.1818181818182,6.051948051948052,22.402597402597397,7.447530270364453,1.1165324675324668,407,16,88,8,14,141,73,110,0.055,0.7709999999999999,0.175,0.9154,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,1,6,0,11,0,0,0,2,25,24,6,0,3,7,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,4,15,3,9,18,3,5,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,4,2,65,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471429138396621,0.0,0.17317227437832433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21695200051452945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18415542570475635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19035292295889994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192108311500693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195965790702088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860893392002693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410519363363054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156510416275517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280921738132844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671464518784566,0.0,0.0,0.17890658421168462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192062272191316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278834927931258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409076708962066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481176185031585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833501631893627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886687155324815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706400619865314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18988726834268607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282106796339332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494888851051917,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedPillaging,2018/01/13,"What is wrong with me? Why do I react/behave this way its scares me and affects my life/relationships? I am a female (24) and I am quiet, reserved and usually very calm. In fact most people always get a first impression of me as an innocent ""church girl"". I am modest and just keep to myself. I seem normal but not these incidences. I drank one night and got very drunk. This happened in public and I was starting to black out so the police were called. The paramedics came first and tried to wheel me away but I hate hospitals so I fought them HARD. I was ripping off the belts trying to unbuckle myself, kicking my way off the stretcher. I began to kick the inside of the ambulance screaming "" I am NOT going to your stupid hospital, LET ME GO!!!"". The paramedics kept strapping me back in but I just kept screaming and crying. When I realized that we arrived at the hospital, all hell broke loose in me. I began violently screaming and yelling that I am not going to go in. As they wheeled me in forcibly, I started screaming "" I DONT WANT TO LIVE, let me go I want to die, let me go!!"" ...About 10 nurses began to hold me down and I got worse. I started yelling that everyone likes to hurt me and that they were hurting me and they had to let me go. I mean I was yelling at the top of my lungs and really fighting to break loose. I was asking them why they weren't killing me and that they had to because they were hurting me. I was then sedated and knocked out. I woke up to being restrained, horrible 2 days. This is way out of my character. Imagine the nicest, sweetest girl you know behaving like this.
This isn't the first time I had an insane outburst. One time, I was at my boyfriends place where he invited his friends over. My boyfriend and his friends are ALOT older, like old enough to be my parents but that isn't the point. I guess they didn't like the fact I was dating him so they were always a bit mean to me. Anyway, one time I was making food and one of his friends came in and shoved me out his way so he can get to the fridge. I lost it. I shoved him right back and yelled "" DONT TOUCH ME!!"" I began kicking him and hitting him and scratching the hell out of him. He tried to calm me down but I couldn't stop. I began to smash all the dishes onto the floor breaking and throwing everything in sight while screaming "" Don't touch me, don't push me, don't hit me!! You wont do it, you cant, DONT you dare come near me!!"" The thing is he was far away from me but I just kept yelling all of this and being destructive. At this point my boyfriend and his other friends ran in but I yelled for all of them to stay away from me. I grabbed all the chairs in the dinning area and every heavy furniture I could gather and surrounded it around me while holding a broken lamp in my hand. I told them that if anyone dared come near me I would smash their face in. I continued to just scream saying nothing while kicking the furniture around me and breaking the lamp into so many pieces. I then ran out of breath and just layed on the floor crying until I calmed down. I was SO EMBARRASED after I calmed down. Its like I became myself again. I just ran out of there and didn't speak to him for a month because I couldn't explain myself, I was super ashamed. I hated myself for that, I hate when these things happen but I have no idea why. I do not want to go to therapy, I just want insights and opinions on why I am like this or why I behave like this. When these moments happen, there is NO WAY of stopping myself, I don't even know what happens, I become a whole new person. It scares me so much that I may cause a lot of damage or hurt myself or someone one day. When it begins I cant stop. Why am I like this?",1.874181757209925,3.866594288359792,2.8288136224755966,93.74644198524484,79.0,5.687726358148893,22.288098964155306,6.6519783246290025,0.3941098293464491,2886,88,627,27,71,914,294,756,0.194,0.703,0.103,-0.9981,1,0,0,0,7,3,95.0,1,5,13,6,30,46,11,3,33,0,62,8,4,3,7,114,121,61,2,10,23,1,6,8,4,3,0,15,0,3,34,46,4,10,10,1,0,17,23,28,0,8,41,23,139,18,90,65,13,122,3,7,2,0,52,53,2,11,51,456,173,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600604349535463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04033845851597063,0.0,0.0,0.102713347330994,0.05393272228625326,0.0,0.1626060470979914,0.08872069000268816,0.0,0.07033504638918141,0.06371449765918336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298295867212675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890833319204052,0.13196486294724846,0.0,0.05926391687785314,0.0,0.09939031673428704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606107806257186,0.0,0.1267403578422672,0.07441105135534849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059873511427101914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20283810447057452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960958925152901,0.0,0.03810395515968158,0.0,0.04860663747503103,0.05512563507410626,0.05184839808357013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721423586791407,0.0697594424609744,0.0,0.17828579317948715,0.0,0.06028169009314571,0.0,0.26229420187954583,0.0,0.09228054190160474,0.0,0.06355246307923243,0.0,0.2040616674962453,0.0,0.05167925335682493,0.17087193434298628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24703500102243994,0.06512542249569372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127786484477005,0.06382586339077287,0.0,0.06341025365455681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23596930896357216,0.040748424988133095,0.2254768642091829,0.0,0.050941666835914064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297587003691564,0.04904630224545524,0.0,0.0,0.038508779918397434,0.058488995461804714,0.0,0.12568348342378058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04604791485806039,0.0,0.04240907086920792,0.0,0.0,0.05571773326336333,0.0,0.0541385182091972,0.05652432840940332,0.055355480265005697,0.0,0.060536354423717374,0.0,0.19546248935987126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405834527539142,0.0,0.0,0.039995249018187864,0.05037301890480639,0.06027417348628414,0.0,0.10907212189092877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03695793783715359,0.0,0.0,0.06193788339810918,0.0,0.04926727352099482,0.0,0.04587770962412911,0.11551627898122875,0.0,0.0,0.05251915974700181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888087594445201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225006541668369,0.06149027439251055,0.0,0.14469523503444298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597398294196569,0.0,0.07665385661430762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091918217104806,0.0,0.0,0.05512563507410626,0.0,0.11750395342699267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353780857153205,0.09520121879722998,0.13610913496788835,0.228959711481654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31233959543980777,0.06440925453935467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587914308779208,0.04098159424099333,0.06307537953988172,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,essmusssien,2018/01/13,"Blindsided by sudden mental health dip Recently I've been doing better, I've been on Zoloft for over a month now and it's helping a bit but today I just woke up feeling awful. The whole of last night I kept dreaming that I had lost my mind and couldn't remember anything and that everyone hated me, today I just feel so low and anxious. I've got three exams coming up that I haven't studied for because I've been too depressed/anxious, how can I get out of this bad mindset? This depressive episode has hit me like a train for no apparent reason overnight, it's like I can't move or function. Any and all advice is welcome, I just want to shake this feeling of impending doom.",2.938137254901964,4.935020852941179,4.013823529411763,86.47137254901962,75.76470588235293,6.5921568627451,27.509803921568626,7.492282038375204,1.6133892156862752,540,22,104,7,12,175,94,136,0.241,0.635,0.124,-0.9711,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,1,1,4,1,11,2,0,2,1,23,23,9,0,2,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,5,1,0,3,4,7,0,1,8,3,11,4,13,13,3,17,1,4,0,0,2,6,0,1,10,65,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672394258113194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298379496350433,0.0,0.0,0.2043083475463486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882364849434224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510016966017127,0.11024411688762482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599465995154786,0.19744070742082853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557857463393694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576532495816975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280935376049167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743286747327666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448634827138666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446417877022783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855134312690946,0.0,0.1922344574474281,0.0,0.0,0.12121954203188645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741640029403955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670776554116074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741848577262025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822536610023429,0.0,0.1826063416703653,0.0,0.14435226728802586,0.1922142935916515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971491272082473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594330570141754,0.17856696665982985,0.0,0.20486711800412613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428481738978951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666966295753676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20191189885028915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthdiscord,2018/01/13,"Mental Health Discord Hi everyone, I have a discord set up for discussions on mental health. I'd really love if any of you could check it out and contribute! Advice, insights, anecdotes, ranting and joking around are all welcome and encouraged! Hope to see some of you there :) 

https://discord.gg/ysjb7m4",5.9098666666666695,9.57758932,4.888000000000002,74.86066666666667,75.8,8.133333333333335,30.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,3.470133333333335,246,11,34,6,6,73,42,50,0.085,0.627,0.28800000000000003,0.9182,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,11,6,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,8,5,2,5,0,0,1,1,7,4,0,3,0,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25073699834483426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449015195011788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284197006629406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048664158390288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24518295605545415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5454868212515991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548519896581093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315826961416544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171651925556735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437826859401392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20446918858952248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mystery_otter,2018/01/13,"Signed off work but now what? Hi everyone,

I went to the doctor because of the intense anxiety I have been feeling. I was diagnosed with depression over 10 years ago and I am in my 30s. I genuinely feel like the main reason for my anxiety is my job and the amount of work I have to do for it. I work from 7:30am until 6pm every weekday and work Sunday at home too. The work I am supposed to do is still not done at that point and I found myself utterly spent, unable to keep working and despairing.

The doctor signed me off work for nearly 3 weeks. This was very welcome. But, two days into it, I am feeling lost and dreading return.

My question is, how do I make the most of this time? What should I do?

Any advice or suggestions at all are very welcome. I'm open to anything.",2.2181735985533457,4.054943367088612,3.7481374321880665,88.2913924050633,77.35443037974684,6.792766726943943,24.576853526220606,7.7094869923839395,1.2510220614828211,604,21,125,9,14,200,97,158,0.128,0.772,0.101,-0.7657,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,8,4,7,0,1,7,0,18,3,0,3,1,27,28,11,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,7,9,0,1,6,0,1,1,1,4,0,1,8,3,18,3,23,19,4,22,0,3,0,0,5,11,0,3,11,91,25,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271541795599648,0.11534572564161907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848774715727124,0.0,0.19908667907981245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070797122734578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932145486016016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391823357193681,0.0,0.11207429966573193,0.13207157615420842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663717400713913,0.0,0.13316047259459682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963379988536938,0.12433760404374912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19738150392046308,0.09295952431165463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426725808612719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052345501272916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912648122720585,0.1156588372488926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357127003022127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420440559539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685776450946774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300780104986135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576695533315895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337875792934906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391597904900032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587546336251859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711075350976725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472934382306014,0.0,0.0,0.10437640301700753,0.0,0.0,0.12062484078463365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6631149963517473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837946096248974
mentalhealth,sevendaybinge,2018/01/13,"I (24F) consider moving from a city to the countryside but I'm scared to end up feeling isolated and anxious. It's that time of the year again. As happened with the last 4 apartments I lived in over the past 3 years I'm being kicked out again. This time it's due to financial problems.
I'm working as a freelance graphic designer (working from home). A decision I made because severe social anxiety didn't allow me to continue working a 'normal' office job. 
Even though this was a very positive change, the fact that my mental health constantly swings from OK to apocalypse makes it a pain in the ass to maintain a stable income.

Right now I'm living in a tiny yet ridiculously expensive apartment just outside a big city, just like I always have. In my quest to finding a more affordable place to stay, I started looking into houses in the countryside. This is something I never even considered before. I grew up in a city and kinda just stuck around... 
But I found myself being mind blown by the cheap rent and massive amount of space that comes with living in the middle of nowhere. So I've gotten more and more into the idea of actually moving away from the city.

Here's the problem though;

Because of my poor mental health I have not yet succeeded in maintaining any friendships or acquaintances. This in combination with me working from home causes me to get very lonely. But even though I don't have friends or anyone to talk to myself, I get the feeling that living in a city and being permanently surrounded by other people comforts me in some way. 

I don't know if that's actually true. But I'm scared that if it is true, I will end up feeling very isolated and anxious when I'm not surrounded by a bunch of people 24/7.

Has anyone had a similar experience, or some form of advice on this matter? 

Eternally grateful in advance.",6.677718651930686,7.13446401432665,7.053033155955795,74.09617956064947,65.01719197707736,9.97140128257607,33.81102469641152,9.842372674337009,3.3614984581798346,1467,60,254,29,21,478,179,349,0.163,0.722,0.115,-0.9597,4,2,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,6,18,14,1,2,27,1,15,4,1,4,4,52,36,22,0,5,14,0,3,1,1,1,3,0,3,0,16,14,0,0,8,0,4,5,6,7,0,0,7,4,22,7,53,25,8,58,0,1,1,1,3,31,1,8,21,175,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.1774465122183484,0.0,0.0,0.08884442109357134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756514030745708,0.0,0.0,0.06182763867667121,0.0,0.06955233721572704,0.20542385595552567,0.0,0.12714453688516825,0.0,0.0,0.08093666353880521,0.0,0.0,0.08542084201861039,0.0,0.0,0.11084604158099813,0.0,0.07736487314491478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339825494884103,0.09617962577601354,0.07831816247420532,0.0,0.09825050527213976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610534560969205,0.0,0.0,0.18015226326829656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893565394995237,0.0,0.0,0.1379132444649378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309778250585298,0.0,0.0,0.0996873472536364,0.07024334047753752,0.0,0.09500223671801633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039885249814746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328404331306456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823971628753268,0.0,0.0,0.10490764185129936,0.0,0.10263582183473348,0.0,0.0,0.09022249612385597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996638215295025,0.07411064144751855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044418144205433566,0.0,0.3211304981050033,0.0,0.0763485686701794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602920085092522,0.060688746779937484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324875246039166,0.0,0.0918016793693387,0.0,0.0,0.1932637693641325,0.0,0.0,0.07012188517436521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908074109368103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674360183111712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679191299780738,0.12606275998402802,0.0,0.09499039075843432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399328519585866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764382807218274,0.0,0.0,0.1820503848449156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271192797776284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267987259482252,0.0,0.06999343632533399,0.0,0.0,0.06435252079189778,0.09690693135289673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307677657284495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679806379465409,0.0,0.1060305157247371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225051637820117,0.0,0.07216680446569655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647587504655134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709695440054273
mentalhealth,mina1200,2018/01/13,"Panicky, anxious and feeling like I'm losing my mind...am I dissociating again? :/ Gonna try to make this as concise as possible. I don't know what's happening to me and I feel incredibly anxious and lonely all the time.

I was assaulted about a year ago, was dissociated for months, had the worst year ever, saw 2 therapists but stopped going because it wasn't helping, and eventually over summer I tried to better myself through surrounding myself around family, exercising regularly and eating healthy.

It was all okay for a while but now I feel this weird sense of newfound anxiety and panic. Towards the end of last year I lost all my best friends from back home because I couldn't open up to them, and now I feel incredibly lonely. 

I went to Japan with my mother over winter break, but now that I'm back at uni I just can't seem to *remember* a lot about the trip. It's like I feel so disconnected from myself and everyone else, as though things and experiences just aren't registering properly in my brain anymore. It's freaking me out a bit. I just feel this strange weight on my chest, like somethings weighing me down. 

I cater my personality to fit the way I think the person I'm interacting with will like me the best, but now I just don't know who I am anymore. I feel miserable and I feel like crying all the time.

I don't want to seek help again because the last 2 times I did were really awful. I've been trying to join more clubs and practice meditation, but nothing seems to be working. If anyone has any words of advice or comments I would be greatly appreciated.",5.552549019607843,6.399677228758173,6.457392156862749,76.01726470588234,67.56209150326796,9.518692810457518,31.63986928104575,9.642632912329526,2.89253908496732,1256,50,239,26,20,417,172,306,0.16399999999999998,0.67,0.166,0.8222,0,4,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,6,18,21,1,2,13,2,20,6,2,1,5,53,44,24,0,4,11,1,9,5,1,3,1,0,1,2,11,16,3,1,14,2,0,3,7,10,0,0,11,10,36,11,35,27,10,42,0,5,1,0,10,13,0,5,29,158,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565507773171132,0.08677185752330274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656723642057795,0.0,0.0748840967266314,0.22117128647479606,0.1941573012071289,0.06844560642757813,0.0,0.0,0.08714112542863965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505397492445812,0.0,0.1790149554666314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545495610574036,0.08657403284533496,0.10686840696230496,0.0,0.0,0.1092754466727757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752543565748476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001639214997329,0.08177291205226946,0.0,0.08669976500655265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854535299865776,0.0,0.09353623467933812,0.0,0.09575330433796747,0.09228014962327603,0.0,0.3959611481778063,0.13986249692627398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562807107986327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563203940656064,0.0,0.0,0.1079219299353048,0.0,0.0,0.0865620867420697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122460427612168,0.0,0.09818970385606716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759343377968593,0.1595836650439344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391158040297338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951169852769538,0.10685637908732863,0.08322092672161431,0.0,0.0,0.06534103907955027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883903421158242,0.0,0.07813331428957779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392623206779424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148505453444276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094415371188704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035407786847534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270959676297994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088808800403373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822722385522935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535900971607397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818387999398667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365558049656728,0.06503247637613231,0.06272271526110637,0.09617452035010138,0.0,0.17123794210276622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937869829022367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773691302260485,0.07769898442520119,0.0,0.11920128390612247,0.0,0.09074321081351508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712636723392471,0.0,0.0,0.06953686812507187,0.0,0.0,0.18911010062523306
mentalhealth,macaroniemo,2018/01/13,"How do I open up to my parents about having got mental health support without them knowing? [17/f] Parents have a history of being incredibly unsupportive and scolding about me trying to get support for my mental health issues (anxiety, depression, childhood complex trauma). This time I have started going to appointments whilst keeping them in the dark. However, there is no way that I can maintain the accessibility of the support being offered to me if I have to continue doing it behind my parents’ backs. Ideally, I don’t want my parents to be involved, though I’d like them to be aware. I want to be able to recover independently as my issues are rooted from the mistrust from them. The reason I am so anxious about this is due to my brother and father’s violent (emotionally, physically) tendencies, and my mother’s history of suicide threats, and tendency for intense guilt tripping. Please help.",9.971062500000002,9.43640498125,10.205000000000002,57.52000000000004,58.5625,12.5,46.25,11.698219412168324,5.9454375,727,42,103,18,8,244,102,160,0.132,0.74,0.128,-0.5742,5,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,4,1,8,10,2,1,6,0,17,2,0,4,0,17,28,9,1,4,2,7,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,0,20,5,25,22,0,13,0,1,0,0,14,3,0,1,8,83,24,0,0.12761033232994887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976215549475715,0.1441633526958591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812446864600513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991059224653328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435444479900311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667113172016419,0.0,0.0725238926443725,0.0,0.1020616401899717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27128763187714383,0.0,0.0,0.08553451585040574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26638406549455085,0.0,0.1134259267154544,0.0,0.0,0.07013130135003763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062343962529549664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572024014362097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5667846895509643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007782423469345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120467510602446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032325002991376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958499157391654,0.43443207863151184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537650360112848,0.0,0.07441061099670171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663903908982405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053576055581602,0.10129114203146627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230118065807421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymousanom,2018/01/13,"Dealing with Autism and Depression/Anxiety at work Hi everyone. So I'm new to Reddit and to give a bit of context, I'm a Graphic Designer living with Autism, who has been struggling a lot lately.

I started a new role as a Junior Designer at an agency, (following an internship at a start-up company) and I'm terrified that I won't make it past my probationary period.

The issue isn't relating to creativity (i.e. being able to come up with new concepts and ideas), but more my ability to understand specifically what the client and my boss wants, without misunderstanding. I also have also have great difficulties with memory, which means that when it comes to feedback on my work, I usually miss something off, even when I write it down.

The main difficulties I experience with Autism are:

1. Difficulties with language and communication.
2. Problems with short-term memory.
3. Executive functioning, which includes self-monitoring, organising and planning and problems with switching back and forth between tasks.

On top of this, I also think I'm suffering with problems from Anxiety and Depression, (which I'll admit that I first started seeing the signs before I started work with the agency), which have progresively gotten worse to a point where I realise I can no longer cope on my own. Symptoms I'm currently experiencing include: loss of appetite, oversleeping, feelings of emptiness/, feeling like a failure, feelings of guilt and hopelessness, decreased energy etc.

As a result, I've booked a Doctor's appointment this week, in the hope that I will be able to seek help and am also thinking about raising the issue with my employer, but have no idea how.

The worst part is, (which sounds horrible), is that a lot of how I'm feeling at the moment goes back to my disability and worrying about how much I'm going to struggle later in life with regards to employment.

So, are there any Autistics/ anyone else who can relate and how did you go about raising the issue with your employer. Did you quit, discuss the issue with your boss or continue on, despite knowing the struggle? Thank you.",8.669761904761906,8.997207639037438,8.740206264323911,64.12036541889485,60.844919786096256,12.150547491723962,39.73465749936339,11.675519718221192,5.087378049401579,1683,82,262,47,21,551,205,374,0.189,0.723,0.08800000000000001,-0.9917,4,0,1,0,0,1,62.0,0,5,0,8,20,17,0,4,25,0,20,3,0,8,0,63,53,31,0,5,4,0,4,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,18,30,0,0,12,1,0,5,5,13,0,1,4,7,24,4,52,45,10,41,0,5,1,0,15,16,0,4,21,185,42,12,0.17586237228920526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812741511647047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979622186718416,0.0,0.13453423344476145,0.0,0.0,0.061483529854218524,0.0900958914319745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522730895399684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482296297117699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599808129236193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148986180851173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065319186965842,0.07573500177951703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000129498238661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345522294045069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806651611056548,0.05807771914974265,0.0,0.0,0.08402201656936603,0.0,0.08601357272117621,0.0,0.0,0.17784259900494995,0.06281805695118588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479422201493174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435160612640095,0.09994663892191516,0.0,0.0,0.0969444431487811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893842056287281,0.0,0.0,0.08733550831708893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985272122729865,0.0,0.3671092523823812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048324680305891744,0.0,0.09919020798399288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06210839720804789,0.04295873597448032,0.0,0.07764484833969397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951190002233591,0.0,0.0,0.05869474954837274,0.0,0.0,0.09578283962200453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463953930823313,0.0,0.0,0.2547734625370789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522090576306833,0.08394026679612558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312339277774851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524148093229097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352564012842916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006977086820025,0.0,0.09173140422794457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769372302318755,0.0,0.0,0.2489525845299243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757743029971061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913941706540934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095522227451324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268550715156073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153946583636607,0.0,0.0,0.09684377871387316,0.0,0.05186409180656232,0.0,0.07053309359781512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476252561170196,0.0,0.1920448523059298,0.08929838781119223,0.08960939085274541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elliphante,2018/01/13,"Weaning off Pristiq/desvenlafaxine I have decided to wean off Pristiq 50mg after taking it for 2.5 years.
I was prescribed it for depression which I have no seriously suffered from for a while now.
I previously went off this medication at age 18 cold turkey and went through a month of quite horrible withdrawal symptoms including dizziness, agitation, altered vision, ""brain zaps"" (I experienced this as a kind of clicking feeling when I moved my eyes around) and other unpleasantries. My depression came back but I don't know if this was due to this or other things going on in my life at the time.

This time myself and my doctor have gotten a compounding pharmacy to make my prescription into 10mg capsules to make the weaning easier. My doctor recommended I take 40mg then reduce the dose by 10mg every 3 weeks. The process should take 3 months to be completely off the drug.

I'm pretty worried about what's going to happen, and considering this is going to take 3 months I'm worried that it's going to be 3 months of the above withdrawal symptoms. I'm also pretty worried about my depression returning even though it's okay now.
I really don't want to have to keep taking them any more.

Has anyone successfully gone off this medication?

I will update this post with my experiences if anyone is interested.",6.70942901234568,7.899795094650205,7.3775694444444415,69.21968750000002,65.13168724279835,10.684053497942386,33.294495884773674,10.686352973137794,3.900975514403293,1060,44,174,28,16,351,139,243,0.116,0.762,0.123,0.5797,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,10,9,0,0,10,1,15,11,2,2,0,20,39,14,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,18,8,0,1,3,0,0,9,3,5,0,0,7,5,20,4,35,28,1,40,0,4,2,0,1,11,0,3,19,117,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410849110011098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152267599295024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708175357411538,0.0,0.0,0.09362813922927038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087316139469287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741019736769165,0.0,0.12029229776321605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027409344553027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27176148380912674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530234717066093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219697274777328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946716296529479,0.0,0.08861455963095882,0.0,0.0,0.10288143131178143,0.0,0.0,0.053179691748032304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390937369947635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300599538503346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934844631943391,0.0,0.10952368399057122,0.05780148551288326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428828496588506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404103946152313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190570064030245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33579905206708005,0.11178448872755273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072867466776687,0.214001779806274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118666672753434,0.0,0.0,0.06737786352717921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186344036871152,0.3953929376436239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698736643877174,0.0,0.10333400374799544,0.0,0.12265689558684735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620350001742353,0.0,0.08436512278956335,0.0,0.0,0.19499674658474175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204312643179447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772931741052705
mentalhealth,anelaysabelle,2018/01/13,"[Request] Resources for parents who's child is depressed Hey guys! I'm a student in college and I've had depression for years. Its only now that I've started to have the will to tell my parents about my depression. My parents were raised in a third world country where, and at the time, Mental Health wasn't really a thing. They're you're typical FOB parents if you'd like to think about it that way. They don't really understand depression as much as I'd like them to.

I've been opening up to my mom recently about my depression but there are some things I just can't explain or just talk about. I want to just explain it to her, but its hard. She tells me to help her understand, but it's difficult.

I was just wondering if you guys have links to good videos, articles, websites etc. about what a parent should know when their child has depression, or about what people should know about depression or just general information. Please link them down below!

Thanks in advance!",4.850828267477205,6.42229020744681,4.962036474164137,83.40500000000003,69.79787234042553,8.988449848024318,29.91793313069909,9.424239791934726,2.6496188449848024,781,31,150,17,14,244,110,188,0.138,0.7659999999999999,0.096,-0.8491,5,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,4,1,16,12,0,0,6,0,16,1,0,0,0,32,28,13,0,5,13,6,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,4,12,3,0,0,11,1,0,1,3,8,0,1,5,1,18,4,27,19,3,18,0,7,0,0,29,10,0,7,8,101,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6033150247821323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160154525151657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393174430752638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19816481527773816,0.0,0.0,0.0896406890779054,0.0,0.0,0.10636691215732047,0.0,0.0,0.06707303440946552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998879556081234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777570381716444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008443512552262,0.0,0.0,0.11719766921353487,0.0,0.0,0.07356101508706248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610572778602855,0.0,0.0,0.5555647420086165,0.0,0.0,0.06937409983612516,0.0,0.0,0.10984389905624388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821141171472916,0.0,0.09880443448646367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082818435339779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043034428738627,0.17492654657380127,0.09212857008022424,0.0,0.0,0.13296059987441838,0.06411911641373226,0.0,0.0,0.05835007566465875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834727782760948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590223148353006,0.07942880353391714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851877092419963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444009163466421
mentalhealth,OldTelescope,2018/01/13,"Is my depression returning? My worry is that my depression is returning although having experienced it for 5 years, I'm not sure whether my concerns are my personality or my illness. Sometimes the two become blurred.

In the past I've tried to nip a relapse in the bud but this time I can't be sure it is depression. I feel so worried about work. I sleep a lot- when I'm not at work I lock myself in my bedroom and sleep or such tv, I don't choose to socialise. 

Recently I've realised that I'm plodding along so to speak. There's nothing in the future which I'm 'looking forward to' and I seem to be living to work (which I hate at the moment). I feel like I'm existing rather than surviving. There is no element of fun in my life. Choosing what to eat for dinner is as exciting as it gets.

Is this depression or is this my personality? And when should I seek medical help? Should I wait to see if I notice any more changes?

",2.6336170212765957,4.387362734042554,4.4329255319148935,84.20875000000002,75.91489361702128,7.891489361702128,28.77127659574468,8.660442795831766,2.2321,726,32,150,15,16,246,105,188,0.172,0.737,0.091,-0.9351,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,9,10,1,0,7,0,16,7,2,0,2,25,29,16,0,4,9,0,2,1,1,2,3,1,1,2,11,4,2,1,5,1,0,1,5,5,0,1,0,6,21,5,23,25,2,18,0,4,2,0,5,8,0,7,12,102,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510583860719056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445827949308374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794749018621284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818258164976751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431060423213254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142924912560667,0.09991206466667232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306819074779708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807733960042606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374150638255474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878335146558057,0.06832583201381165,0.0,0.1234940634088336,0.0,0.11744253549466188,0.0,0.0,0.1188992731427255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408886698186929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419414036632174,0.15922524638998278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335069209604692,0.0,0.2442310657310047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808942159221074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144590931239197,0.1273182611960076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799109518489858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383196515434548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26362237458147114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155026887480796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495200802938343,0.0,0.136617500127473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054471697111187,0.284058015501958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006169639480044
mentalhealth,timidsore,2018/01/13,"CONFUSION Hello guys, this is gonna be one long post. I am a 21 years old, female. And I suffer from spectrum of anxiety disorders, extreme generalized, mild social etc. I was about to turn 13 going 12 when I discovered that I suffered from nervousness which would manifest itself physically. When it started getting worse, I knew that it wasn't 'normal'. I get extremely uncomfortable when somebody looks at me, I have trouble eating at public places, even passing strangers while walking gets me super uncomfortable, like the idea of dying almost sounds more comfortable than being in those uncomfortable situations. God, Am I fucking weak!!!?  I had pretty rough time dealing with having to go to school, like it was extremely bad. I did try to confess my problems with my mother but she turned the whole situation around to 'why can't you be normal like the other kids?they have friends, they go out, they are smart' and what not. Same thing happened when she went ahead to address my problem to her sisters (my aunts and uncles), since we were one close-knit family or so had I thought. Now, what happened is that whenever they used to come visit us, they'd sit me down and talk to me or 'humiliate' me and try to make me think 'right' and tell me to be 'normal' and laugh at my problems, which obviously made it even more worse than it already had been. I used to have friends but I didn't had the luck to finding a true kind, the kind that sticks with you and understands you and supports you. My bad that I stuck with some who only made my hopelessness even more hopeless. They laughed, joked, made fun and I just stood getting my last bits of self esteem and confidence getting crushed. Now, I am at a really, like really fucking confused state of mind. 8-9 years of my battle with anxiety and my own inner demons, I sometimes am confused thinking, 'Am I making it worse for myself?', 'I want friends but at the same time, I don't want them', 'I want to talk but then I don't want to talk either', 'Is what I'm suffering from my own imaginative creation?'. I have been raised in a family that believes that mental problems are not real and that it's all in the head. Having been surrounded with that sort of perception, I don't even really know if what I am suffering from is even legit. I can't deal with people judging me. I have been subject to harsh criticism, I have been told that I'm not beautiful, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. I try not to think about it but then those things play repeatedly over and again in my head and it just drains me out even more. I try not to think and be like let people say or do what they want, I don't care but I do, I do care and it gets so fucking pathetic. I feel indignant. I want to die but then don't want to die either. I overanalyze. It's just that I am really confused individual or at least that's what I think. I don't even know anymore. Even now as I'm writing, I feel like  me mentioning the people that I did is like 'maybe they didn't do anything, it's you who thought like that, you're to be blamed (to myself)'. Though, I don't want anyone else to suffer this, I sometimes wish that some one else would have it just so they can really relate to what I'm going through. Please tell me if I'm being stupid or unreasonable. (ALSO, I'm fucking sensitive. I get hurt very easily and I feel like when I consider what I say to other people so as to not hurt their feelings, people just jabs a dagger right through with their meanest words.)",4.413348186436148,5.5997403624454165,5.130360930398363,83.25232064878355,70.41193595342067,8.344698927605977,27.70308647476457,8.724045039944539,1.9592704690609857,2747,94,548,47,49,888,280,687,0.2,0.654,0.145,-0.9948,0,0,0,0,0,4,86.0,2,5,11,2,31,57,6,5,13,0,65,8,2,7,3,124,134,49,3,20,29,3,5,9,3,3,1,3,1,2,49,31,1,0,20,2,0,9,20,28,0,3,27,9,94,29,69,95,19,55,2,9,1,4,48,20,4,16,32,382,143,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452420007149333,0.0,0.06008735917130975,0.043543957074078765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330879836423284,0.0,0.05400015545442215,0.03807297860324508,0.05579085902945277,0.04480803135559524,0.0484723911010673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909276022262664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134694329027208,0.0,0.0,0.05944572316623267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103160271837173,0.0,0.0,0.046904189470900116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227192201075503,0.0,0.0,0.16953272410466702,0.0,0.062404864104881615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055716342350060594,0.09097262756186697,0.0,0.0,0.11252361640061956,0.060726577970151664,0.2877117515869774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266196314086952,0.0,0.11012701259533132,0.07779873874745766,0.0,0.0,0.04976666985196305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620470833617314,0.20135403198105,0.19913656930179724,0.0,0.123781645398788,0.045670403607539385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053914446609065816,0.09630059980168923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176361780534272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658053696395285,0.06146786239301045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340340391088305,0.0598490204988983,0.04438433510757143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567921272720227,0.0,0.2394153906763636,0.0,0.0,0.04818688154505645,0.045724613775477374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456682623539286,0.0726921160504807,0.0,0.0547027352133193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487318607953268,0.0,0.05497937166623975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600494633607762,0.0,0.0,0.057136524584352824,0.0,0.11069098000642323,0.041411975093692495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887452218207656,0.0,0.05688906819686785,0.0597701768873475,0.0,0.0,0.052148421978483184,0.05539562172485908,0.0,0.2084066775233346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197646433310362,0.17441157003271676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930006708046327,0.0,0.08660227094170254,0.0,0.05510670147479008,0.0,0.0,0.05680363178069112,0.0,0.0,0.0450419251415704,0.12240903909999105,0.0,0.0555053153316535,0.0,0.0,0.10770565566801064,0.0,0.03854026617577177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178965711193665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312954824019625,0.09518408141771637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234883905088478,0.1744480559610724,0.053497231547522894,0.08645505471374225,0.0635009203757597,0.0,0.0,0.05202968090205523,0.0,0.14787296190644406,0.11845277662238606,0.0,0.056684776108399115,0.06549711466493506,0.09405530852713756,0.0,0.04492727411528079,0.25693000545803923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047605688684032,0.04913300760454987,0.06079191570884969,0.0626152610949749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646879718889385,0.0773599893534091,0.0,0.0,0.07012853164778159
mentalhealth,Space_cowboy42,2018/01/13,"What’s happening. USA I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.. I feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m getting crazy psychotic impulses. That I know are bad and I wouldn’t do them, but my mind is always like what if? I wonder what happens when this? I feel almost numb all the time. I don’t know what’s wrong. I can’t have sex with my girlfriend. I don’t feel anything. Except sadness and numb. I want to be able to have sex with my girlfriend and be happy with her. I love her. At least I think I do. But my body just doesn’t get those feelings anymore. Like some wires got knocked loose. Someone please tell me what’s happening.",-0.6035906040268415,1.5767382214765142,1.2537550335570486,99.34304865771814,92.95973154362416,4.322281879194631,18.859395973154363,5.985473137389443,-0.2874136912751677,541,17,127,5,20,176,76,149,0.155,0.675,0.17,0.6379,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,2,12,0,0,1,0,17,6,1,0,2,30,41,7,0,3,6,0,5,4,2,1,2,0,0,0,11,6,0,0,11,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,1,5,25,7,9,37,3,4,0,1,0,3,8,1,0,4,6,75,36,0,0.13384836981035658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402980800811098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137256605156433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982248501660295,0.0,0.0,0.1101458037337028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175779794150577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486753649042733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33838878734821065,0.1912426042733752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986049767635,0.0,0.07606911310011838,0.0,0.10705076861862256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734466855290751,0.14248407856344789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29423825444198365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615662101881314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080337954310515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514869762730056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469253161406832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134092893859378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615050451587007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698937481996075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576463081418065,0.0,0.0,0.07804806081649603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894723640583058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451528474701399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634218051851855,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stefandaniel191,2018/01/13,"I just masturbated to the image of having sex with my mom, thinking that it would finally stop the intrusive thoughts about her... Am I a freak? Did anyone else do something like this?",4.323431372549024,6.664388794117649,4.794705882352943,80.87284313725492,72.82352941176471,8.062745098039215,28.98039215686275,8.841846274778883,2.5155215686274515,145,6,26,3,3,46,32,34,0.152,0.779,0.07,-0.4515,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490236150530218,0.36491080845572943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29751195490122995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901374813560912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739935842304179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41711062633811696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741764447096967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29775167284390075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282021902572941,0.0,0.2827379292907211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529939200450059,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TH3K1NGB0B,2018/01/13,"Ray of hope Tonight my fiancee is playing board games with a group of friends. Those words mean nothing to anyone else, but to me, those words bring tears to my eyes. For anyone who is in a relationship woth someone with BPD or any other forms of mental illness, severe depression or anxiety, I hope these words resonate with you too. There ia hope for everyone. Be there, love them. You can't fix them, but you can be there alomg the path to healing. This has been an incredibly exhausting and emotionally draining journey, but I've never once wanted to run. A games night is just a start, I know more tough days lay ahead, but this, gives me a ray of hope. ",4.895952380952384,6.211874150793651,4.76047619047619,85.86785714285716,69.39682539682539,7.822222222222222,28.285714285714285,8.167268648758528,1.7205619047619052,517,18,103,7,9,159,86,126,0.151,0.696,0.154,0.1207,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,2,1,5,10,0,0,7,0,9,5,1,0,1,22,20,7,0,5,7,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,3,0,3,2,3,0,0,1,1,11,7,16,17,2,10,0,1,1,1,14,1,0,6,6,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057931923644028,0.0,0.12439501597075242,0.0,0.0,0.22739921229919666,0.16661156891612028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047996451274104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486899529057377,0.0,0.14005441610928246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583849101967496,0.1829126150451362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537933840954432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563088187015636,0.0,0.0,0.15598883826934004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.646027508314678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936534924251996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676047100700715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712826779357127,0.0,0.0,0.16387106746843053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541365790640954,0.0,0.0,0.15259701100059408,0.0,0.15602718933499052,0.0,0.0,0.1731726878290319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458061629490862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837012591187447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777760845598927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509509489001325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591067438214336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,first_order_general,2018/01/13,"Change my view:My reactions on reddit are completely normal and rationall for the current Geopolitical scenario I have been tossed/forced into. And I don't need any psychological help.


Edit:rational ",7.620000000000001,10.908698272727275,8.009090909090911,57.23363636363638,66.27272727272728,11.672727272727276,35.24242424242424,11.20814326018867,5.545715151515154,165,8,21,6,3,54,30,33,0.0,0.906,0.094,0.4019,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157012729465955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911077139433373,0.0,0.4867501277107864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31117240882692176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442304257195923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548597352289394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,srslywhatnow,2018/01/13,"Just completed a Ketamine infusion series for my depression--AMA! I had six treatment over two weeks.  Any questions?  Obviously my answers only represent my personal experiences, but I would love to help others learn more about this treatment.",7.3573076923076925,11.016154410256418,7.274038461538463,60.27721153846157,69.0,11.079487179487181,40.519230769230774,10.686352973137794,6.206738461538462,198,12,24,7,4,63,35,39,0.0,0.774,0.226,0.892,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,5,1,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,1,19,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233517549508764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36003876698124204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33590213727810536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230167644576758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30992364386897603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611642108864849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998356400545219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38467633432066267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354429582556537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275447422293968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439350034375347,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,knm5264,2018/01/13,"I am exhausted... I am so unbelievably tired of fighting. Every day I battle my anxiety, depression, OCD and BPD. I’m only 23. How do people continue this battle until natural death? One good day is quickly followed by weeks of horrible ones. I’ve tried so many different medications but they barely scratch the surface. 

How do you win a war against yourself?

I am exhausted. In heart, body and soul, I am exhausted. ",2.635394736842109,5.604965434210527,4.7634736842105285,74.4473157894737,85.44736842105263,8.829473684210527,31.28421052631579,9.120678840339163,3.9878252631578954,327,18,53,11,10,112,58,76,0.311,0.5920000000000001,0.098,-0.9471,2,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,1,1,1,5,10,4,0,2,0,7,7,2,2,0,5,9,8,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,2,0,1,8,2,6,9,0,9,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508303058497755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26874020728324816,0.30471429009520123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120618830475436,0.0,0.20838210902605755,0.0,0.0,0.25277524957201386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384443631405866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029273467795341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866994341360862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24528864636258205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437285604005135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278888895334367,0.1840058674076591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16773036389404564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278073827405594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426101725512288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406924743771706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,backgroundmusic95,2018/01/14,"I'm involved in an independent study for my university utilizing the ArcGIS software program-- anyone want to bounce some ideas around in regards to topics? Essentially ArcGIS is a program that manipulates geographical information and allows one to draw trends with it. It's heavily involved in all of our day to day lives, from computing the routes of efficiency in USPS deliveries to drawing up voting districts/parceling land to general surveys of just about everything. It's powerful as hell.

I want to base my GIS project on mental health issues that are relevant to today, and want to see if you guys have any suggestions/topics I could look into!

so far I have already created a project of the eastern PA region that evaluates addiction rates with respect to availability of green spaces. Turns out there is an interesting correlation there--- I don't argue causation at all, it's just interesting to visually see how higher rates of addiction problems relate to lack of public space.

Anyway, topics like that that I'm not thinking about would prove to be constructive--- I'm just drafting out ideas for now

cheers!",7.726224489795919,9.745117948979594,7.810816326530612,63.99846938775511,63.38775510204081,11.110204081632654,37.46938775510204,11.062562989136584,4.939728571428573,922,46,134,27,14,298,130,196,0.047,0.816,0.13699999999999998,0.9234,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,0,1,12,8,2,0,7,0,9,3,0,4,3,33,20,6,0,8,5,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,4,8,5,39,17,4,19,1,0,4,0,9,15,1,2,5,90,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38601025866916827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19537350585752689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203966377653396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379394619336635,0.0,0.0,0.1576075420407976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135598704221494,0.0,0.0,0.2283586935784569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911658597535475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530233639242893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881905038479479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997243992385201,0.0,0.18478893105302616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649522014056851,0.0,0.1563339352887962,0.0,0.14867316887445858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784196691248439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997024071238292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940810760116734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821638076150351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344325579686428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781791216290856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257406687897893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31327709741256177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576765347588365,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,korpcake22,2018/01/14,"I have always wished so much that I could donate my blood every time I wanted to hurt myself. But I can't. I would feel the pain of the needle, knowing my blood was going to save someone else's life, so I wouldn't feel as guilty wanting to take my own. :/ I hope you guys are feeling well today. Just wanted to say what was on my mind. You guys are great at listening. Thank you for reading. *hugs*",0.7018970189701932,2.8936946097561003,2.0657723577235783,96.47990514905152,84.60975609756099,4.132249322493226,16.428184281842814,5.033348758259628,-0.8384514905149052,306,6,67,1,9,98,58,82,0.1,0.6940000000000001,0.205,0.8192,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,3,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,9,5,2,0,0,16,22,4,0,8,2,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,2,2,1,0,2,5,15,6,9,17,2,5,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,1,2,44,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604519876065955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396096448448704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108670974601896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246959690864302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925055358175076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095910853552024,0.0,0.0,0.21259837966399234,0.0,0.38186874644796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915260633025533,0.0,0.0,0.20643105100131395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597563302360563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620321269672098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19470573342723627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417539868486014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20518724797110288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928845631405979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334804826918896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338624977537455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449859514441255,0.0,0.0,0.17753414761984995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244211147159193,0.0,0.18278254890369924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34121260144527404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337946782187755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174772038584856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698259009231128,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mouikkei,2018/01/14,"A reading http://ikaricrossinglines.tumblr.com/post/169689991251/ (regarding depression, anxiety)

Hey, first post. I don't see myself as qualified to say that I know what's best, that I know and understand you/your circumstances etc as well as probably other members in this community. I'd like to say I still get anxious, but I'm aware that it's more conditional and aaa I'm not sure where I was going with that. Don't have much life experience under my belt (out of high school)

But I like to be hopeful. And I don't like saying 'yes this shall cure you', or anything is clearcut simple but I found this post which I thought was worth to share at least. If you'd like, let me know what you think. I'm still learning",4.25611111111111,6.613025370370373,4.26861111111111,84.49625000000003,73.07407407407408,7.7592592592592595,25.324074074074076,8.59863814320734,1.6951851851851854,575,19,112,11,12,177,88,135,0.068,0.746,0.18600000000000005,0.9439,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,2,4,10,0,0,1,1,11,1,0,0,1,21,25,11,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,1,1,3,0,0,12,5,0,0,8,1,1,1,4,1,2,1,4,4,15,9,13,17,5,12,0,1,1,0,8,6,0,3,7,70,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536642705245655,0.1703682237120331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410075723691705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826193572626138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988926809772572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818891797979976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475175248526327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827578434263348,0.0,0.1653513531733491,0.0,0.0,0.07879008133224152,0.0,0.08570671072398575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933516386511618,0.0,0.14978470968119198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24863763947331705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542096863610222,0.10651896833067742,0.29470541456501553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086000202869628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332923224107629,0.0,0.162594726578531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084713690563722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35978173143819336,0.0,0.15262405365631432,0.12017311731690455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408682544096289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421331780744754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663060477471214,0.0,0.1197233780679671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699470443213326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559299869989694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunrisestatic,2018/01/14,"I think I may have BPD This post is more of me stating things I may think are symptoms, and I'd like to know if I should bring this up to my therapist or if I'm totally wrong and it may be me overreacting or something else. Tysm in advance. 

I already have depression and anxiety (specifically major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder). First off, I have a really bad temper over things that usually don't matter when I look bad at it, starting to scream and rant. I get mad at people easily, but the thing is that unless I'm incredibly angry, I won't express it to their face (because I don't want to hurt them) but internally I'll hate them and angrily vent to my friends. 

However, someone could be really mean to me and I'll despise them, yet I'll just magically forgive them once they seem nice for a bit. I also get mad at people for tiny things, as well as assume bad intentions behind other's actions. Despite me easily hatin others and getting mad, I don't want people to hate me, and sometimes I'll massively apologize to a point where they get mad at me for being annoying. And if someone has a hint of a nasty tone in their voice, I'll feel like bawling (I've learned to suppress my crying over the years), and I'll immediately feel worthless for awhile. 

I'm really sensitive, like REALLY sensitive. When I was younger, if I got a 'warning card' at school, I'd start bawling on the spot. If I got yelled at, I'd cry. Once, I misinterpreted what my friend did and yelled I hated her in kindergarten (or 1st, i forgot) and started loudly crying. I'm a relatively reserved person, though and. I rarely got in trouble because it made me upset. However, apparently when I was younger I'd cry and get incredibly mad and throw a tempter tantrum over losing a fish game. And now, I have a huge fear of everyone hating me and silently thinking nasty things where I get paranoid to a point where I consider trying to act cuter and seem nicer. I impulsively deactivate my accounts, leave chats, delete posts, etc. over tiny things. I'm convinced everyone wants to ignore me and doesn't like me, not even my own girlfriend and best friends. I can get sad from almost anything, sometimes even nothing and I'm convinced all my friends will leave me and I'll be a 3rd wheel.

Now I don't hurt myself, however I do spend a TON when I'm upset. When someones hurting me, I'll be desperate to buy something. Almost anything. It can range from a pack of pencils to a $30 of stuffed animals I don't use.

My main thing that I feel like doesn't make me think I have it is because I have had a solid group of friends for a few years. However, I've hated almost every one of them for a week-a few months over tiny things, except for my girlfriend who I've never been mad at once. But then I easily forgive them and like them. However, past friendships have always ended without notice. Some people randomly stop talking to me, and I beat myself over it constantly and sometimes begin despising the person at some points. Sometimes I'm convinced they abandoned me for someone else, and things that remind me of them trigger me to get super upset.

do you think this is bpd or like just depression or something? and if so, how would i bring this up to my therapist (or psychiatrist), as im a super awkward person oof
tysm!!",5.742592592592594,6.182587703703708,6.552382716049383,76.93922222222223,67.02469135802468,9.689876543209877,33.175308641975306,9.642632912329526,3.095244938271604,2624,110,494,52,40,869,274,648,0.246,0.603,0.151,-0.9972,6,0,3,0,0,2,81.0,0,1,13,7,20,60,16,5,23,0,42,2,1,6,3,96,92,57,0,12,21,0,3,7,7,7,1,6,0,3,28,28,0,5,16,2,3,6,11,38,1,2,10,10,78,22,65,69,14,61,0,10,1,0,34,29,0,24,30,316,106,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402900619147234,0.0,0.060255017017620885,0.04366545494257537,0.045433503680829664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354124948049332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986611257652416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367719673923819,0.09985520096457737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730176531237158,0.0,0.05961159069737253,0.0,0.13753941919287332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059005709233509285,0.0,0.04359550885565031,0.0,0.2399123348860817,0.0,0.0,0.14108669257031992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251579766686557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912264625617844,0.0,0.0483614479904429,0.0,0.060896019387060886,0.07212863373899278,0.0,0.04600480891062715,0.10434971186657284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144278945624294,0.08282571962157173,0.07801581550310162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046444704823879315,0.0,0.0,0.21092808186215373,0.0,0.2282196652643925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310113880599104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695424293193302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535873606940985,0.0,0.05897987454859509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030008006662164417,0.0,0.0,0.1156319441754488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673154566409825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585219618839635,0.061086028460306974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166603466252393,0.03644747206463985,0.0,0.0,0.0594779328348233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358305025452792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0421126746986551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239239791182355,0.062165102318921625,0.0,0.174449063785653,0.03699994461380145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212409206429645,0.15141749225997092,0.1430299170657997,0.0,0.0,0.15485052203970445,0.0,0.1045878566504186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991857542521788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552604621161961,0.0,0.09941580137275184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850574714915229,0.12610659886055334,0.21601235949369926,0.0,0.11594340771395968,0.0,0.0,0.04564998378707251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056752716510711274,0.0,0.04388727587950758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267950021454594,0.32647819187799376,0.17493480701418845,0.053646501389775315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707139055119742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471588724655273,0.060136740448974525,0.0,0.09661758769682002,0.0,0.043798686906745085,0.0,0.049094042442025566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263468722725775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0387879209475918,0.059699064437200876,0.0,0.07032420672392377
mentalhealth,leigh101994,2018/01/14,"I’m 23 and I have chronic fatigue syndrome - how do I cope with working full time and enjoying my free time? I have just been diagnosed with chronic fatigue, which basically means I feel unwell all the time. My muscles ache, I always want to sleep and I just feel quite run down most of the time. I also started a new job a month ago and am enjoying it but struggling with the length of the days and doing five days a week. Then when I get home I tend to feel a bit miserable that I don’t feel like I can do anything other than rest, so I feel a bit stuck in life.
Does anyone have any tips for motivation? I’m 23 and feel like I should be having the time of my life but I just feel like I’m going through the motions and life feels mundane.
I forgot to mention I do have depression/anxiety alongside this which does go up and down so it just feels super complex and I don’t understand what I need to do or why I feel the way I feel sometimes. I don’t really have any hobbies or passions but even if I did I don’t think I would have the energy to pursue them.
Just wish I could keep up with everyone else my age!! 
Any tips would be greatly appreciated. :) ",2.291375000000002,3.8565287208333374,3.84,88.905,76.375,6.966666666666668,24.916666666666664,7.7348632917899725,1.1706916666666665,903,31,197,13,20,300,124,240,0.064,0.746,0.19,0.9861,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,11,13,0,2,13,0,26,10,1,2,1,52,54,21,0,8,11,0,11,3,0,3,8,0,1,0,8,13,0,2,16,0,1,4,4,4,0,1,4,11,30,10,20,44,6,26,0,3,0,1,2,6,0,4,18,129,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915799211914316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261862923035647,0.08596392274348102,0.0,0.0,0.2107672616213421,0.0,0.07903345476815163,0.0,0.0,0.07223820512144735,0.0,0.08501703514938143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255800571016568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248628548564164,0.0,0.0,0.13325548344843285,0.0,0.0,0.10485958164943396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18081818647119705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630398213302723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682366513255267,0.0,0.0,0.09871911521747256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.57461458354714,0.22141850154651652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539762952554584,0.0,0.11742926635408785,0.0,0.0,0.11390192765722675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036304350005849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252129334428968,0.0918285193614871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21891712209354167,0.15141918437867732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125371368907232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246271278845542,0.0,0.0,0.07660459471543993,0.0,0.09977944602884097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988510893456097,0.0,0.0,0.06618436084484973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338668596835868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217828407865334,0.0,0.07312481858730341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800421247968993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619820624425525,0.0,0.0,0.30121050938170124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755151380335763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609361386902051,0.08200431653088988,0.08287071505572678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322307872356984,0.0,0.11880378790027872,0.0,0.0,0.07521242120335614,0.0,0.0,0.14677986814060925,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dying-llamas,2018/01/14,"Not sure what happens.. When I'm on break from school and I'm not really seeing people, I start to feel better. Happier, less anxious, much better about myself, etc. when I go back I feel so much worse. I start to feel horrible about every aspect of myself. My confidence goes to zero. I guess it has to do with my social anxiety bc it's not like my friends are mean or anything. I really don't know why it happens or how to help it but it's really affecting my life",0.12105769230769425,2.487020208333337,2.7775000000000034,88.30211538461542,91.70833333333334,6.287179487179487,17.80128205128205,7.61054688173877,0.8026243589743594,364,10,74,8,13,126,61,96,0.126,0.768,0.106,0.0372,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,17,18,8,0,0,6,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,4,12,5,11,18,4,8,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,6,50,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475159834712164,0.19899541867858864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495356943106966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544579364785198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115745481674818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644992136010134,0.0,0.0,0.14841103217658758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26719490485627434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360903570103026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010812117705736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404524017524288,0.0,0.31153155488641465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806729293422412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680551550481434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441748959009274,0.08605628749369623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19187518898066305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589759056911674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211781142026265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385318952178736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826967257167278,0.14036596304959614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955918473342106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493548134113255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601600147487444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589448278288186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950834274872166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MennWithVenn,2018/01/14,"Extreme paranoia/anxiety coping tips? Any advice? I didn't get to sleep last night until 7 a.m, woke up at 4:30 pm, haven't moved out of bed all day, haven't ate or drank because I just cant quiet my mind.",3.030606060606061,3.5631578181818213,4.343636363636366,90.0437878787879,73.0909090909091,6.775757575757575,23.75757575757576,6.42735559955562,0.5206757575757579,160,4,36,1,3,53,40,44,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,5,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,6,4,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508185415753441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441378058702508,0.0,0.27464019918008625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884799387622728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23153051213233825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756690471711396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926395020397402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624958199299823,0.0,0.0,0.38156877422990254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369047639765778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592673521638983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigoldjetairliner,2018/01/14,"People with bipolar type 2, do you often have lots of mood swings per day? I have MDD (major depressive disorder) with periodic phases where it seems my meds stop working as well and need adjustment - I was very stable for many years, over 10 years, and then the last 3 or 4 have been very up and down - it is so frustrating.  

 Anyway, I tried a mood tracking app and was very surprised to see how often I had big jumps in mood from really bad to almost too good/hyper - I showed it to my husband and he was not surprised at all.  I guess I just never saw it objectively before.  

Anyway, it's got me wondering if I might actually have bipolar type 2 with rapid cycling (forgive me if my terminology is wrong, just started doing some reading.) 

 I'm going to keep tracking my moods and give all the data to my psychiatrist at my next appointment - it's a month away so that should be a nice big data set - the app prompts you 5 or 6 times a day to rate your mood and I also go and rate it whenever it occurs to me to, especially when I'm having one or the other extreme.  

Anyone have any thoughts or similar experiences to share?  

Thanks!

TL:DR - Using a mood tracking app has brought my frequent mood swings to my attention, wondering if maybe my MDD is actually Bipolar type 2?",4.203724444444447,5.400160608000005,5.638666666666667,79.37377777777779,70.92,8.595555555555555,28.68888888888889,8.998388855275968,2.3129422222222225,992,37,193,19,18,335,149,250,0.063,0.865,0.07200000000000001,-0.3372,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,1,14,18,1,0,9,0,20,3,0,2,3,44,39,22,0,5,10,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,10,11,0,2,7,2,0,4,2,4,1,1,9,2,24,7,24,27,5,30,0,1,2,0,8,10,0,17,15,124,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.2740983676953031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063037611216228,0.0,0.0,0.11230981935929626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955040176776054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819891522780884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194800546797353,0.0,0.11726153600869055,0.0,0.0,0.11950409833855627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181144366762627,0.0,0.1209607684717937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095641015898565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737727089051024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472284754919026,0.15963057986535167,0.11779441107069892,0.11232269953726937,0.0,0.1547104962368647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482952716105912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144773464164839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193970680493927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238411973128556,0.1410908590557232,0.0,0.15599718298362136,0.0,0.0,0.1489846492350886,0.0,0.0,0.11209787021915472,0.0,0.0,0.10413448243730973,0.1083159878756048,0.0,0.14935953604832666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516578039424682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973634147744436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047800768380214,0.0,0.08996946185309497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191249926334997,0.12785130383179408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994041566983999,0.0,0.0,0.11741413068118448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929828570728846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149367478339006,0.08189169491897301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534954305819822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129507077750105,0.0,0.3476331306965531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627242852576856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304602384153856,0.10224199454304826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354909622901028,0.0,0.18087751436774246
mentalhealth,hcstuart,2018/01/14,"Anxiety has taken over my life. Hi all!

I’ve been debating on whether or not I should post this, but I am at a loss. 

I have been suffering from anxiety and depression my entire life. I just started taking Zoloft a year ago and that seemed to help with the depression. I was then diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin for it. That took away most of my anxiety and I was able to function. I had all A’s in my college classes. I was working full time. I had a ton of friends. And best of all, I felt free! But, things got complicated and my doctor took me off my Ritalin. 

This is when things went downhill. My grades dropped dramatically. I couldn’t complete any homework. Once again, I could not function. I dropped out of a prestigious nursing school, I quit my job, and then made an impulse decision to move in with my boyfriend. Now, I am jobless and I have no friends. I sit in my apartment alone all day while my boyfriend works. My anxiety is so bad that I can’t even leave my apartment. I feel like I’m constantly being watched and I haven’t been outside in days. I am too anxious to even go to the doctor.. I am just lost. 

I guess what I’m asking here is if anyone has any advice. How do I pick myself back up? What can be done to help this? Any help is greatly appreciated. ",0.841820899240254,3.2464781042471067,2.5208967492838457,91.86989662473536,86.49034749034746,5.967418109353592,24.57105492589364,7.359569317364363,1.1933962137252476,995,42,214,17,31,326,145,259,0.152,0.715,0.133,0.3278,2,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,6,12,12,0,0,8,0,30,8,0,3,4,38,47,20,0,4,9,0,2,1,2,1,8,0,1,0,11,13,0,0,4,0,1,6,6,6,0,0,17,3,39,7,27,25,8,39,0,5,1,0,7,15,0,5,15,155,50,10,0.11406380891039752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708253235289142,0.11146183394232573,0.10111068438265627,0.0,0.0,0.11813570618627275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327019044212297,0.0,0.34903400644031946,0.12885963709635692,0.0,0.07975606730580623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663426384884674,0.0,0.10716670322230204,0.08770802831335836,0.0952385159917008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970293027368464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959373348777227,0.12326245552164727,0.0,0.09107066995834807,0.0,0.0,0.14712344096746593,0.0,0.1964859829503778,0.1157723650197384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23349828343443546,0.0,0.11672687862392332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506761400478301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767408901908181,0.08148720787661466,0.10951914414786454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625083163332272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482509120528678,0.0,0.0912272479128912,0.1257557520043327,0.12565414518232648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293637002522167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319073000912405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077710412226984,0.0,0.0,0.1611332830019987,0.05572581544808508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451412161219252,0.0,0.0,0.10792993393853807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123177743060105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147423384956405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924159878715116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466563259036824,0.0,0.12132090116797045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543866419344773,0.0,0.10383940769496397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807349510299819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576178888445096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155785253816442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651152425250571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534581773025407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057382936163395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607962276035387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345335320942169
mentalhealth,clanz901,2018/01/14,"I'm being mean to someone I love I had a huge fight with my friend and I love her so much and I called her fat and ugly and I didn't mean to, is there a condition for something like this",-0.17244186046511345,1.2742954186046518,2.049011627906978,99.51909883720931,83.18604651162791,5.230232558139536,17.726744186046513,5.985473137389443,-0.6124837209302325,145,3,38,1,4,49,30,43,0.12,0.5479999999999999,0.333,0.8885,0,0,1,0,1,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,7,9,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,8,4,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,1,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980948095165546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22554563453735602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262303659931952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269593441601059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6359982029783715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146033204049089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473527023105885,0.2247432126963803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SemperNotaVitae,2018/01/14,"Was doing great, got sick for a few weeks, back to feeling horrible. I haven't been to any kind of medical professional in a while, so while I'm diagnosed with a depressive mood disorder I'm not technically diagnosed with the anxiety that has formed since then. The panic attacks are good enough proof for me though.

Over the years I've slowly learned how to deal with my depression. Anxiety came in around a year ago with panic attacks and I've slowly learned to manage that as well. I quit my dead end job after a breakdown at work to get myself together and try to progress in life.

I'd dropped out of high school due to behavioural problems related to my depression, so I started getting things in line to get my GED and have made it to the point where I passed 2 out of 4 tests. I got on a good sleep schedule, quit smoking, started running again, and even started lifting for the first time in my life. 

I felt great for what felt like the first time *ever*. I've lived my life since 15 being depressed, I don't really know what life without it is like.

Then a few weeks into my transformation I got sick with something and had a high fever, aches, no energy, etc. I felt fucking awful and it went on for 2 weeks where I didn't feel well enough to keep up with classes and exercise.

I'm now at the point where it feels like all of that progress was a dream and I'm tied down again like I never got up.

I'm trying to do what I did the first time and get my sleeping schedule on track first and add on to that, but it takes time and everyone in my life is getting annoyed with my setbacks. 

I'm reasonably smart, can function around other people, and don't try to make people focus on my problems, so it's obviously just laziness and not mind-crushing anxiety, leaden depression, and a sucking wound where I assume my happiness and energy used to be. 

I feel like a useless burden trying to build a life out of straw only to watch it get blown away. Honestly the everyday struggle to be just functional makes me feel like I shouldn't even try, and being smart enough to know that won't work, it makes me want to kill myself. I hit little milestones like sleeping at night and I feel so good, and people just ask me when I'm going to build the space station. People actually ask me when I'm going to get another job(obviously a better one, because why would you quit the last one if not to get a job where you can move out. On that note), when I'm going to move out, when I'm going to go to college; basically when I'm going to be an actual functional adult. But it feels like I just built a hut and now I'm expected to lead the space race, and I feel like such an asshole for just existing how I am.

So as of now, I have no money, no time, no energy, and no hope to keep up with the honestly reasonable expections of my family and friends. I forgive myself for having a sick brain, but I hate myself for all the inconvenience I'm causing by not being normal. I can't afford treatment either. Of any kind; mental, medical, or dental.

I just want it all to stop. I'm tired, and my coping strategies are starting to feel as empty as everything else. I don't feel like I am made properly to be alive at this point.",5.479092979744571,5.42650177588872,6.242535182624259,80.63242394045395,67.56259659969089,9.592597413161963,30.472992760107374,9.345792617884785,2.4638556414219495,2527,87,514,45,38,833,265,647,0.146,0.716,0.138,-0.7137,4,0,1,0,0,1,67.0,0,2,0,13,38,48,7,3,32,1,35,22,4,12,7,109,106,49,2,11,17,0,13,10,1,3,17,0,0,1,22,41,0,3,21,2,1,13,19,19,2,6,17,14,52,28,93,78,11,102,0,6,1,1,8,43,2,4,55,329,74,13,0.0,0.0,0.09918814963356608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504984990656599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912019853064881,0.053290367684830836,0.11663403599551445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048312974503753,0.0950217597797551,0.11563270460303045,0.04774810817099303,0.03907829855214981,0.0,0.030980078506968982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494714411802308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673316915866946,0.0,0.0581258138602152,0.0,0.052207281910281914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052394335493180365,0.21886074885912224,0.10316471892780532,0.0,0.0,0.058245397918889816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042454518314169465,0.0,0.0450124212153788,0.15753538381667395,0.05667897444948185,0.06713373107006493,0.04597060586656443,0.0,0.04856175093402711,0.04567473899716234,0.0,0.04790962195049946,0.0,0.2569668150968659,0.2178396777685934,0.14638871359285854,0.0,0.0,0.17291364949780078,0.0,0.0,0.03926426549017899,0.04698329963349646,0.2124154699533328,0.0,0.17329685661658256,0.1278790140508942,0.16258514521813647,0.11206091200494928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054100019325971985,0.0,0.05017532711731796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739059136701956,0.0,0.05047683185620458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129633714358534,0.09034427984994237,0.0562260312641342,0.10584473631806654,0.055859908742937864,0.0414259897331244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537872852448275,0.2482862851918199,0.050936105962063216,0.04487597346904497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617633099891763,0.10177046178188448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239384848714024,0.05121572819881602,0.0,0.05131483620649647,0.0,0.0,0.10802959965112466,0.0,0.0,0.03919637502203599,0.0,0.0,0.04769217141313723,0.04979389995671808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887540225144795,0.038651746182563854,0.0,0.11925525111789215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093184187390478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412713458972345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725788234150504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621635266792013,0.0,0.0,0.03255730604954317,0.10450513589486396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143367911197072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407949894721088,0.0,0.15257344485401025,0.0,0.0,0.03912457533716932,0.0,0.0,0.1438857801555349,0.0,0.0,0.04248872571195531,0.0,0.05312926128551991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038211151873340884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03376328896739685,0.0,0.04993148504910711,0.0,0.1481709971071204,0.05841139279044375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252099718561692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043893123958574094,0.0,0.0,0.05995121782516386,0.0,0.1222968930200254,0.0,0.09138856710836464,0.04711168049031217,0.04585814935946611,0.0,0.0,0.04898973894415329,0.0,0.07399675042825067,0.0,0.0,0.03610186022773442,0.0,0.0,0.06545426049526441
mentalhealth,skafo123,2018/01/14,"Is meditation suitable to deal with overthinking and getting rid of bad thoughts permanently? Or is it more of a way to stop these thoughts from invading your mind and overwhelming you? 

I've always had problems dealing with past events and just letting them go, but a recent event is causing a lot of trouble. It's been a month now since it happened and ripped open old wounds I've successfully dealt with before (well not really I guess now). It hasn't gotten any better within this month, seemingly even worse and by now has gotten to a point where it's on my mind whenever I'm not doing something I have to be 100% focused on - so things like reading, workout, TV, listening to music,.... won't work. It's starting to taking it's toll on me and affecting my life. I'm paralyzed, unfocused, unmotivated and I'm scared it'll get worse.

So I'm looking for a way to deal with these thoughts. I know I should get professional help for the underlying problem of not being able to let go of the past. But for now I need to find a way to deal with this and stop these thoughts from dragging me down. 

I've thought about meditation but I'm unsure if it's a suitable method for what I'm wanting to achieve. Also I'd unsure if I can learn it on my own by reading articles or watching videos or if I need to find an actual teacher.

Any help appreciated.",5.757913533834586,5.983123390977442,6.464426691729326,78.32679041353386,66.96992481203007,9.657518796992482,33.5422932330827,9.516144504307137,2.9598879699248117,1066,45,211,20,16,351,143,266,0.154,0.764,0.08199999999999999,-0.9513,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,1,4,12,10,0,2,11,0,17,2,0,2,0,51,46,20,0,9,13,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,17,14,0,2,10,5,0,2,5,6,1,0,9,3,15,4,38,30,3,30,0,1,2,0,10,10,0,9,16,131,32,7,0.0992279765475622,0.0,0.09683219130272053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935257699500498,0.08256562547503919,0.0,0.0,0.13495685344929195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285121566186507,0.0,0.0,0.08443569955616702,0.0,0.0,0.08775908158033623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193446551846368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091987469388308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553914266832969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813851457962122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552756678720572,0.0,0.11278709156319296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931080322813333,0.0,0.08774697195558423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302084208770976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054533100874766274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293465784195985,0.070087654355441,0.04847777714244221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332650909545747,0.0,0.0,0.08436007723471642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003839391932244,0.0,0.1584056483802947,0.0,0.0,0.1471525745937838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041230694443673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894486629884572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380251115389412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989554505013329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985096580944881,0.0,0.06356798265392223,0.0,0.09797565588843082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934451498457768,0.0,0.0,0.09033342310673434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208240759375986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639054418662962,0.0,0.0,0.07023407252395694,0.0,0.0,0.1659180630568623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746070892897173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592265847035468,0.0,0.0,0.3938796475311347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585272314759747,0.23628764730397805,0.0,0.0,0.0892178677171732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223914872612215,0.0,0.2022435707703312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MindBeyondRepair,2018/01/14,"What's wrong with me? I don't know where else I can post this cause I don't know if it's because of my anxiety, depression or if it's something else. (I've never received any sort of profession help so I don't what's wrong with me)

I'm not sure if this has happened to anyone but when people or animals start being too loud you want to stop...even going as far as thinking about physical harm.

I know this is REALLY bad and I'd never actually do it. But it scares me that my mind would go that far. And I don't know what's wrong with me",0.7379583975346691,2.419172194915255,2.9936363636363663,92.70614021571652,81.28813559322035,6.6637904468412925,20.049306625577813,7.686295010490155,0.5043627118644074,421,11,100,7,11,144,69,118,0.232,0.741,0.027000000000000003,-0.9762,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,26,21,13,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,5,0,0,3,7,7,0,0,0,1,13,1,10,19,0,11,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,6,4,61,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.1607553897533522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202391107882237,0.0,0.12602009402825162,0.0,0.0,0.1151849609578927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754495572267367,0.10041954837096596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922590011922914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418840662499969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27522612987935313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880442012109964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872428230680628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567261658159028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041688217236552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621312196963832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633310581918942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541040867024557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420493906174528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776842710949146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553201048005713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649262090566243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681931017962314,0.0,0.0,0.11659868015644807,0.0,0.0,0.13772394559596116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155258656466281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555408718845942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716363722154699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702141098852632,0.5403281679811152,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chojurou,2018/01/14,"Does anyone know if more intensive therapies for PTSD? I’m currently in 4 therapies (CBT, DBT, EMDR, and talk therapy) for PTSD and I’ve heard from different people that I getting better or instead, getting worse. My manic episodes (due to a trigger, whether passive or direct) are more spread out but more intense than ever, like when I do feel bad, I feel REAL BAD like any minor inconvenience leads to suicidal ideation and I can’t climb out of that hole until I’ve already attempted to burn every bridge while also trying to fix my own emotional state. Like, no one I reach out to seems to not understand how difficult it is to even recognize that I’m in this state. It’s often overlooked or invalidated by those not affected. Q",4.7749011857707515,6.723637333333336,5.8056258234519085,75.78397233201585,70.59420289855072,9.36600790513834,31.38603425559947,9.800150414767053,3.3762231884057967,584,26,101,15,11,193,99,138,0.168,0.688,0.14400000000000002,-0.8667,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,4,1,26,14,14,1,1,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,1,3,7,4,19,13,4,15,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,6,9,63,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728548082303162,0.12526398985467244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651975374633872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095254893206086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26157370639061744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385342873669571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365420463121724,0.0,0.0,0.13707566735654594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619756430265732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345844852406444,0.14168876017638,0.1319749427602565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840256507921913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367461344391934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608458670662386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22957741313921795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614250310278138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085936195970976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366204744206116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782892442743069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259807840005104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133742107698294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590033214470406,0.0,0.0,0.5373903488122227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634746153477062,0.0,0.0,0.16306651247329498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962831678889391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,carhartt_master,2018/01/14,"am I delusional? This does involve “ghosts” (probably in my head) but idk it’s kind of on my mind. But wherever I go, whatever I’m doing, doesn’t matter if I’m alone or in public, I always feel like there’s another intelligence with me. It doesn’t speak or communicate in any way, it doesn’t have any identification or anything. It doesn’t make me feel good or bad or scared, it doesn’t make me feel anything, it just feels like there’s a form of intelligence with me that even knows me personally and is attached to me. However, when I enter my room, the form of intelligence goes away and another one takes its place, but this one does bring on feelings. If I’m sad, I’ll feel like it’s judging my life, if I’m happy, it’s happy with me, but again, it doesn’t have any identification or means of communication but I still feel like I can talk to myself in my head and it’ll hear me. And speaking of talking to myself, when I do talk to myself myself and not the intelligence whatever, it feels like me talking to myself and the myself being talked to are two different beings yet still the same, as if me talking to myself is my ego talking to my consciousness or something. This has never negatively impacted me, in fact it hasn’t really impacted me at all in any way, I’ve just always lived with it, ever since I was little. 

if you believe in this stuff, I did live in an old house that my whole family swears to god is haunted and I can agree with them. idk if I believe in ghosts or not but idk man(the house is still lived in by my grandparents and I still dread going there because of the terrible vibes I get from it but Idk if I’d put that blame on ghosts) 

am I going crazy ",4.221128153124603,4.92891942565598,5.569527189757892,81.69359614653315,70.4868804664723,8.997287362149828,26.866396247940173,9.20300075937882,1.975720344783877,1325,41,279,26,23,446,146,343,0.107,0.745,0.147,0.9517,3,1,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,0,15,14,0,2,7,0,26,3,2,2,4,61,49,33,3,7,26,0,8,5,0,1,1,3,1,1,23,13,0,0,13,0,0,6,11,5,0,3,2,11,44,9,38,44,5,37,0,1,0,0,15,18,0,15,16,194,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224221760683342,0.0,0.0,0.13214679542416985,0.0,0.0,0.21599928058735254,0.16653136603846666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069120618168556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460595624424035,0.0,0.06630194214432593,0.04840607240933941,0.0,0.0,0.1789301107772047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296393209286153,0.0,0.0,0.13898006939423135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052447902069642345,0.07182862612105867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485831995933348,0.0,0.32120652646062525,0.28364365434929545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041487139134879454,0.0,0.13538732943827406,0.06660324001858213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690615117228039,0.0,0.0,0.16298999951919568,0.0,0.08949801893387192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18325117741029268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269068732681271,0.0436402830093133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608786264611043,0.1939724571152644,0.07958717189482832,0.2103548208272163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601024011904152,0.0,0.0,0.08649804203733802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017893423111545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124395608208316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833248090693696,0.0,0.1076171484799816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933556244751797,0.08296393209286153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856147110156726,0.0,0.0,0.07982646578209622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087047515817932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950075605101041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568670110477813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061131769770358925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536597149006528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090258462044301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970455446099414,0.4467731605821911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756958504161081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605994811152516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865563326174589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Clairie92,2018/01/14,"Cygnet Hospitals Hi, does anyone have any experiences of the cygnet hospital chain....I am currently in one and having a complete nightmare, I came across a buzzfeed article which seemed the general experience of cygnet was the same as mine. I just wondered if anyone else had any info?",8.569333333333333,9.4712738,8.374000000000002,64.71033333333335,61.0,12.266666666666667,38.66666666666667,11.855464076750405,5.1850666666666685,230,11,35,7,3,74,40,50,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,0,5,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,1,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509600245463334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608632865594773,0.2643984459312677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951356838205719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705561418471163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258176436209231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21556417814738896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.504836671129359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485853179435198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349152309097507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798396937089709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uranusa,2018/01/14,"Am I Depressed? I don't know what to say to help you with my question. I've been feeling tired and frustrated. I feel ugly, and horrible. I just want to lay in my bed and disappear from everyone. I always imagine myself in a better life. I feel like I am wasting my youth away. I want to die so I don't have to deal with anything. There's just too much responsibility for being a person. I don't know, and I don't understand. I really just, don't know. I've tried to overdose before, but it didn't work out, and I just treated the days after that like normal. I feel like I have no friends, I feel uncomfortable, I really don't know. I just, don't know.",0.53272506082725,2.6765347299270097,3.1311240875912425,88.88145498783457,84.91240875912409,6.281070559610707,20.812165450121654,7.554174236665415,0.7885896836982966,506,16,111,9,15,176,73,137,0.175,0.672,0.153,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,0,2,8,8,1,0,3,0,14,2,0,0,0,30,27,7,1,3,6,0,5,3,1,0,2,1,1,1,3,8,0,0,13,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,2,6,23,6,15,24,1,8,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,6,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345827324005641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310031145439127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519624204654809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763097043160458,0.0,0.0,0.1430481138378375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431054387410578,0.1667494345893486,0.13930859426897485,0.0,0.16786319845928582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545519078483547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40890938612252575,0.2310977752150761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124961868652874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841260083350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44444729145910666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424352418371925,0.2370576739774544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889936150578545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847332704242542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122732854421066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118863734947616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072327981417124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862414266230446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589923184827134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981255307355367,0.0,0.0,0.16837966602181986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079985615220066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177504798869524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roboraven,2018/01/14,"Losing it Sorry to ramble. 
I think I'm starting to lose it. The dialogue I'm having with myself is getting more severe, violent, consistent and pervasive. I'm beginning to have physical reactions to the thoughts in my mind, the conversations I have with myself and responding to them in ways I never have before.
This is all a relatively new development for me.
I recently stopped Mirtazapine and went back on Escitalopram. The lexapro worked for me in the past, albeit I had difficulty sleeping. The Mirtazapine made me simply not care about anything at all, to the detriment of what little life I had left outside of work.
I have a referral from my GP to go back and see my psychiatrist. I know there's something wrong, I don't know what, and haven't known throughout the past 17 years dealing with various issues. 
But this is new. I haven't ever started shouting 'No!' over and over again, to no one but myself, before recently. Saying things over and over. Bad things. Having conversations with myself again and again, talking from two different sides. One side telling me various ominous stuff that will happen, things I should do, things people think, and the other side opposing it, trying to get an answer for all the questions I have and hitting a brick wall. 
That's what I talk about. I ask myself often, among other things, 'why do you hate me.' It never gives a straight answer. It dodges the questions with vague answers that can barely be called answers at all. It passes the buck back onto me then expects me to be happy with it. It has that type of answer for everything. It constantly belittles, humiliates, offends, terrifies, attacks, threatens and opposes everything I do. Every little thing I think. Everything.
It's draining, to have the most menial thought, interaction or feeling turned into a battle of two halves. Two vehemently opposing sides fighting for different outcomes. 
Is this what it feels like? It's scary. To be so involved in your own head that you're talking with someone else. Someone who knows what you think, and does everything in it's power to undermine you. 
I hold it together pretty well. Only a few people at work have seen me actively discussing this shit with myself. I usually work alone, operate out of a car, so can have these stupid bloody conversations with myself to my hearts content with no-one the wiser. 
But I know what's going on, and I'm starting get scared by how often and intensely these interactions, with myself, are happening.

I'm not asking for anything from anyone here. Simply getting it off my chest anonymously in a way that will ease my tension just a little bit, for a little while, if nothing else.

I'm calling my psychiatrist's office within the next few days to book an appointment. 
Thanks, internet friends.",5.644464285714285,7.785341978174603,6.04066666666667,74.19600000000003,68.70238095238096,9.008253968253966,31.449206349206356,9.516144504307137,3.2603906349206344,2223,95,360,50,40,714,246,504,0.166,0.7709999999999999,0.063,-0.9942,3,1,1,0,2,0,73.0,0,4,1,7,18,20,8,2,27,0,32,6,5,2,7,75,74,24,0,3,8,0,2,1,1,3,1,2,0,0,43,27,0,5,20,1,1,5,9,14,1,5,7,6,47,6,65,60,12,66,0,2,2,0,29,32,1,7,28,273,90,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735083505113422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049627137638447935,0.0,0.11681220755354738,0.0,0.13270346615036868,0.08074393032043768,0.0,0.16372541450976416,0.059260882604445814,0.0,0.0,0.12078842872852134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774859544437181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494614156936642,0.0,0.07236340355377993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669840116828992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577278883836696,0.07317176552724372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830684233822353,0.0,0.0,0.06211040966794752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185804545631014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420064997391585,0.059799218335536426,0.0,0.25514981808317244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177384870163238,0.05070431652001947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05483485191678361,0.0,0.14832533722855978,0.06808536818209095,0.08067307810788972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552532784015444,0.07555385313846813,0.0,0.07007279005492903,0.07284048486981116,0.0,0.0,0.08410532251252892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407911289220709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602328406067836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711418372016593,0.0,0.050131506503537336,0.034674637387186444,0.2845410495042578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588049962448542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715794632073703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716641813972314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948007778450164,0.13709555195166967,0.07548236389261005,0.0,0.0,0.06810210749789046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618854283958836,0.05397943274339687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550670182979244,0.09840979556141324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220675252533727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901574144448147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015784307605114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056441904173209566,0.07105802362543315,0.0,0.05655762073868785,0.0,0.0,0.08018117194396579,0.07285447607807967,0.0,0.0,0.07102592438320998,0.0,0.12027321060981044,0.054639766417057804,0.0,0.07945032929129331,0.15070870451657478,0.0,0.0,0.05933799992083553,0.0,0.0,0.08124901354935328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114024737516198,0.0620349875791387,0.06534393792767511,0.0,0.0,0.2829144914803815,0.18191080396745035,0.0,0.11269191582117875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818714021570264,0.07720005716330322,0.2079958108687108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816856883552893,0.0,0.0,0.1126727746511259,0.0,0.0,0.06381474964210992,0.06579422767715487,0.0640435978595612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668161247387812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759965693244669,0.0,0.04570535876289535
mentalhealth,psychedelicaccount,2018/01/14,"I’m having a revelation I’m practically freaking out right now because I’m having a revelation of sorts. Randomly, I just decided to take an ADHD quiz thing because I was bored, and as it progressed the questions started to scare me. I feel like it matches me perfectly.

Ever since middle school my life’s been... messy I guess. Not horrible really, but I always questioned if maybe I had anxiety or some shit because I overthink everything way too much. One thought would always lead to another and this led to horrible anxiety, so I thought that I might have GAD or something. I think now I know what it is though.

One of the questions on the quiz was like, “doesn’t want to do things that require mental exhaustion” or some shit, but “still able to get completely engrossed in stuff.” This matches me so much. Whenever I find something I like, I surround myself with it almost to obsession, but I fucking despise school work and will always procrastinate to the last second. This is valid for other shit as well. Then there’s not paying attention. Check. If a conversation or teacher is boring me, I’ll let my mind wander. Next up is interruptions, check, then disorganization, check,  forgetting shit, check, then being talkative, check. Now I’m not the most extroverted person, but if I’m around good people and I start talking, I don’t ever stop to the point where some people find me annoying. Then there’s the whole fidgeting thing, I used to think that I don’t do this at all, but now I realize I might. If I’m put in a situation that’s boring, even if I’m not supposed to I will browse my phone endlessly or check reddit exhaustingly. Even if I’m just sitting down talking to someone, I’ll constantly take sips of my drink, even if it’s basically empty.

And then the cherry on the cake, ADHD meds didn’t make me how I thought they would. As you can probably tell from my username, I partake in drugs every once in awhile, and idk how this place views that and I’m sorry if it’s not viewed kindly but right now I’m just looking for help. Point is, I took 60mg of Vyvanse expecting to become speedy and talkative out my ass. Instead I felt almost like I didn’t want to talk, and I was almost relaxed. I was confused as fuck but didn’t question it because I smoked a lot of bud. Still was fun though, music was great, body felt great, and I ended up getting in a good enough mood that I started talking out my ass again despite that horrid dry mouth.

I just don’t know. I feel like I’m going crazy thinking about this now. I never expected this to line up so much, and I don’t even know how I would bring this up to my family. I’m terrified, please give me any advice, it’s all appreciated. Do you think I have ADHD? Where should I move from here? I don’t want to be misdiagnosed and I’m worried about how my family will respond.

TLDR: Took dumb ADHD quiz, symptoms lined up a fuck ton, idk what to do.",4.592937062937062,5.6906772797202825,5.562174825174825,80.65441608391609,69.9090909090909,8.657062937062937,28.985314685314684,8.982922981607832,2.286047412587412,2292,84,447,42,40,755,255,572,0.172,0.7070000000000001,0.12,-0.9847,0,0,5,0,0,0,73.0,0,2,1,5,39,34,10,3,17,0,43,17,8,8,6,110,92,50,0,17,29,0,4,5,1,9,5,0,0,1,30,17,1,2,23,2,7,8,15,19,1,3,18,7,60,14,52,62,13,62,0,0,3,5,19,27,10,31,30,297,90,10,0.06183730397012052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972656902509213,0.060426697761540415,0.0,0.0,0.18576338263807146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436077175883595,0.0,0.0,0.04205148719118924,0.06484180490652862,0.0946107365619964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504831080317273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078178618832327,0.06829444392476514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868730448850614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483523670872987,0.06682415748700075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605770161832254,0.07171164056065622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476949703330514,0.063894465154432,0.0,0.16337182428304456,0.11187076338687693,0.05210059561587763,0.0,0.055575381515966665,0.0,0.11658941360782205,0.0,0.06253359778077082,0.08835316462386332,0.11874701839106493,0.0,0.11303635110294473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715027732620059,0.06461487816757555,0.059319976644330835,0.0351435648874487,0.10373239343824377,0.0,0.13635169186383628,0.06812076192238123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144824137674708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439403630416912,0.10195249523030854,0.05040565605066602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323283291497278,0.043677516540436036,0.15105291598464055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192776121193017,0.0,0.0,0.05257186451248021,0.0,0.0,0.04127688057459015,0.0,0.062123883336552735,0.0,0.06868730448850614,0.0,0.06231745811276751,0.13119921488836436,0.06243804917599111,0.0,0.0,0.06572326790965782,0.13637260052827513,0.0,0.047692740970624765,0.0,0.06576467430114145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585471057689947,0.08380511506431816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574040106038429,0.05399394865070538,0.06460682124953221,0.06787879036532342,0.11691247966955498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667107249363179,0.0,0.0,0.0621635700679325,0.27708773031350903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039614560357922664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561743943438863,0.0,0.0,0.061909928878988586,0.12516530590772146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539004155975719,0.05115245685315103,0.0695077205438877,0.0,0.0,0.052394546984247004,0.09521075538706213,0.0,0.0692217990999072,0.13130628607472442,0.0,0.09876670165808032,0.05169875501020122,0.0,0.0,0.07078891860043314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427263590576668,0.0929879136761963,0.1988099303029592,0.054048529259386746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324587113985383,0.15849139001261994,0.12150967437100473,0.14727573617518308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374070400005835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053407576342733465,0.0,0.0,0.10941973209263334,0.049083573601903664,0.0,0.0,0.05559916263079722,0.0,0.0,0.06903914154520327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450182937689835,0.06279878383582281,0.0,0.1317823396243443,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kayasawyer,2018/01/14,"Sometimes Things That Seem So Minuscule End Up Making A Huge Difference For the past 9 months or so I’ve been in a huge pit of self pity and hatred. I’m still in therapy and on medication but nothing seemed to be working. Then my therapist recommended something that I thought sounded stupid but swore that it would make a difference. What was it that she told me to do? She told me to get organised and clean my room. I thought that was silly. How could spending hours tidying up make a difference? Well it did. For the longest time I couldn’t find the motivation to clean it. I know that sounds like an excuse but it’s the truth. After awhile I finally decided that I couldn’t go on like this. So I cleaned my room, organised my closet and got rid of clothes that I didn’t wear anymore or were too big for me or too small (I still had clothes from when I was in my early teens no clue why I kept them haha) and put them in a few big bags and took them to the local Goodwill. Once I got back I swept and mopped the floor, after that I did what I hate most and dusted. At first once I was done I felt the same but when I got in my now made up bed with clean sheets I felt *so* much better! I actually accomplished something. Now every time I think about it or if I’m in my room I get a twinge of happiness because I feel as if I’m on the road to recovery. 

The point of this post was not for me to brag but to share that even if you think it’s not important doing small things like that can really help your self esteem. 


Now what about you all? What small things have you done that you didn’t think would help but ended up making a world of difference? Any and all stories, as long as they’re not self destructive, are welcome! ",1.8295951107715809,3.748378529411767,2.974188948306597,93.00748663101608,78.83193277310923,6.680213903743317,21.742551566080976,7.686295010490155,0.6952285714285722,1353,39,305,21,33,434,174,357,0.049,0.764,0.187,0.9942,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,5,3,5,19,15,3,0,17,1,25,2,1,7,3,58,55,33,0,8,16,0,3,3,0,2,1,2,10,3,28,10,0,2,14,0,1,3,8,4,1,1,26,5,44,11,40,23,6,55,0,1,0,0,20,29,0,10,25,205,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0910820621159661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347139491254285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925638151943894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176929964441378,0.0,0.05689650316804296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254773554335279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452086572629885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900632619178627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910294072188498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533524056150953,0.0,0.0,0.06164727022320578,0.0,0.07863925155557731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719327359338954,0.0,0.17923358726217548,0.10224456552039747,0.08530702906782202,0.07939119654132241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975279763770002,0.0,0.053044760948982465,0.0,0.22394696872458333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935746032015152,0.0,0.0921495617787374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512174348997204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919167451330654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05129479375018706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679714925984007,0.0,0.0,0.08259905106931083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883163824155532,0.24920889725456466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402577729953393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449956936422511,0.0,0.06861239052043312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895580061421807,0.0,0.0,0.1987986927964528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909937210941024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823229168534316,0.0,0.08938968516062036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382803721105892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979316244708933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993841291546324,0.2921080965566437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370857866734182,0.0923112750578929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907582927204505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673736983681968,0.1083698020469706,0.1860240357943165,0.1794170125302355,0.0,0.14819604943356354,0.10884945439271156,0.0,0.0,0.17837229271333507,0.1036992634765596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839198954391659,0.0,0.08422084339536186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794941375340241,0.0,0.0,0.13260583599602374,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PorgFanatic,2018/01/14,"Has anyone here gotten ECT and regretted it? My first treatment is Monday morning. I’m freaking out about it. I’m seeing a bit of good posts so I’m wondering about the other side. If you regret it then why?

Basically I’m wondering if I’m making a mistake.",0.6714010989011001,3.1703266346153884,3.645604395604393,82.15653846153847,90.34615384615385,6.048351648351648,22.813186813186807,7.447530270364453,1.5241725274725282,203,8,37,4,7,72,38,52,0.203,0.743,0.054000000000000006,-0.7941,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,10,12,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,1,2,1,4,11,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,4,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21452142060249146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33494571347448354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609635913478773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25732895667226435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047911218643288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29382921892139274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444795675130881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27683892819729866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6654221792165622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalcasethrowaway,2018/01/14,"How do I know if I have really severe mental illness or if there is something physically wrong like brain damage or a cancer or some fucking degradation like early-onset dementia? My obsessive bad thoughts are starting to turn outwards. I am scared I might be a danger to other people as well as myself. This is unbelievable and none of the meds are helping or have ever helped, ever.

.

.

.

i smell bad",6.210270270270272,7.467523270270274,7.084702702702702,70.62921621621625,66.29729729729729,9.163243243243244,31.016216216216225,9.3871,3.062262702702704,318,12,50,6,5,106,57,74,0.3670000000000001,0.518,0.115,-0.9784,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,12,2,2,3,0,10,4,1,1,2,14,15,10,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,1,0,1,1,7,3,5,12,2,4,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,8,5,41,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35071512922084025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344512926596646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799494415558137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415970402926686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28154337536974355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542126067384867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20520990234155825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332843916701427,0.0,0.2116503248238435,0.22279756980384935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560112273930362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345439114723823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026622320422286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23726232924260166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168332209514988,0.0,0.0,0.148652929375683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667320755378174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844097855077286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883281165685106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296234253733017,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ELzVRVvlzz,2018/01/14,"My [19 M] girlfriend [19 F] told me about her depression and anxiety and I don't know what to do Hello Reddit,


My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 4 and a half months now. She's told me she's depressed and anxious and wants to die. According to her I make her want to die less. She tells me she has trouble going to class because of her anxiety. She doesn't like people, and social situations stress her out.


Her wanting to die and her anxiety started to get worse around 2 months ago, I can't think of anything specific that might have made it worse. Since then we've had some communication issues and she's started to push me away, which I feel is mostly normal due to how she's feeling but could also be my fault in how I don't really know how to comfort her about it. She tells me she doesn't feel sexy which is why she doesn't want to have sex or have a sexual relationship right now. She also told me she's not sure if she's in love with me anymore, but she still loves me. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but anyways.


I've suggested she go to counseling at our university but she won't call to schedule an appointment because she would have to talk on the phone. I offered to call for her but she won't let me. She says she doesn't know what counseling will tell her that she doesn't already know.


I don't want to make this about me, but I feel like she has started taking me for granted. She doesn't want to talk to me and gets annoyed at me when I'm trying to help her. She also doesn't want to go out or do anything with me, and won't talk on the phone with me on the weekends when she goes home.


What can I do to help her? Right now I'm supporting her every way I can, and I told her I'd be with her through it.
  
  ---   
  **tl;dr**: My girlfriend is depressed and anxious, what can I do?",2.4405918189730187,3.7123284334203683,3.8077989556135776,90.5013764142733,75.37075718015666,7.09100087032202,24.254917319408182,7.675431598112923,0.9518059878154924,1422,44,323,19,30,468,152,383,0.133,0.7759999999999999,0.091,-0.8893,0,0,0,0,0,1,42.0,1,0,0,0,19,15,1,1,7,0,40,3,0,6,3,63,79,31,3,11,11,0,4,2,3,6,0,1,1,0,14,20,0,0,10,1,0,4,16,7,0,1,7,5,73,8,47,62,3,35,0,3,0,3,69,14,0,6,18,223,87,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071622571166442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916262611984263,0.1938424462941795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543079634768225,0.1825575325647548,0.08012992645373189,0.0,0.0,0.1329797748486419,0.07192736949143316,0.0,0.0,0.07591240109862117,0.0,0.0,0.09850744818059637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500762783922213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451064573534021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20877365309603746,0.0,0.2515667704970527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807581807525666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341562992871822,0.05772212284915165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442726304937369,0.0,0.13775813317563174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831442159724068,0.0,0.0810470036365698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433214267333368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761791870959834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262145142523004,0.0,0.07894766427717127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584673830548944,0.07645304175023768,0.1078666137879453,0.0,0.0,0.08801273238677536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571393262186554,0.0,0.0,0.1289844201312025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916490622502469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601517482947438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176128165481799,0.0,0.0,0.17349367498799395,0.0,0.13800213812370948,0.0,0.06425382985371117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668369584968106,0.09082036169907942,0.0,0.08236340799186291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715677668805087,0.0,0.0645254045034334,0.0,0.0925538608732806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168863752919687,0.1523023585003808,0.0,0.06075005688312396,0.19482716781169845,0.21186309685733634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177210982644501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088238890431867,0.0,0.054856553015203056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33359736623676145,0.06413370878985446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290764725901955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468017376784438,0.057396596409636076,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,inlaymansterm,2018/01/14,How do you tell if you have DID? had friends telling me that i remind them of the main character from split altho i never warched it before. but im unsure. so how do i know?,-0.672162162162163,1.4955104324324324,1.3284324324324324,98.71859459459463,93.32432432432432,4.0410810810810815,18.210810810810813,5.6839178017228535,-0.4523145945945948,134,4,31,1,5,44,31,37,0.08,0.863,0.057,-0.2047,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,1,6,6,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,7,1,2,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33530046375741623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044356395940985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425632653387414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165550129809233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303909250577688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6888196269601525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eimana,2018/01/14,"Can Stockholm Syndrom be nonromantic So, there are plenty of cases where the victim fell in love with their captor. However, I am writing a story rn where the character is suffering from a form of Stockholm Syndrome however she has absolutely no romantic feelings for the captor. Just admiration and sees him a lot like a father figure... a terrible father figure but yeah.

So, can it? And how easily can Stockholm Syndrome be cured without help?",4.521025641025641,7.772287512820518,5.943846153846152,67.8844871794872,77.71794871794873,8.594871794871796,31.743589743589745,9.150863307647796,3.9936820512820512,358,18,49,10,9,120,58,78,0.119,0.708,0.172,0.6773,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,7,6,1,0,8,1,9,1,0,1,0,12,12,6,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,4,3,7,10,2,4,0,1,1,1,8,3,0,1,1,42,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25139854984701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333261739148718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429061200785609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422700467276012,0.44874114582442254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962029093802776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479281705044331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwdataway799,2018/01/14,How do you know when you've been diagnosed with something? Is there a process or a test? Or can a Counselor just briefly mention it or write it down  and that counts?,2.7672727272727258,4.8506699696969715,2.287878787878789,98.2518181818182,76.57575757575758,5.612121212121212,29.181818181818183,6.42735559955562,1.0351090909090916,131,6,29,1,3,38,27,33,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,9,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7315686711855117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961175839601965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5548856990564827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hanana_Hammock,2018/01/14,"Does anyone else have serious food aversion issues? Hi reddit, I wasn't really sure where to post this, but maybe someone can help. 

I have diagnosed OCD, and a history of depression, seasonal affective disorder, and i guess an eating disorder? Anyways, my question is if anyone else avoids eating?

I don't do it everyday, but eating is really hard. The idea of chewing and swallowing is unpleasant. I feel hungry, but I'll just push it aside cause it's easier than getting food down. When I do eat i have an unbelievably small appetite. I'll eat just fine for a few days and then a wave of nausea/food avoidance hits and I eat next to nothing (mostly just forcing food down when my stomach hurts too much to ignore it) Umm... I just don't really know what to do about it.

Thanks.",3.3004218600191777,5.648904684563763,4.7164189837008665,80.20431208053692,75.9798657718121,8.552444870565678,26.0790987535954,9.23628265651192,2.5483783317353788,614,23,111,16,14,204,92,149,0.223,0.696,0.081,-0.9693,0,2,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,11,9,0,2,6,0,13,13,1,2,1,25,19,12,0,1,8,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,5,11,3,4,0,0,1,3,6,1,0,1,2,11,3,12,17,3,13,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,4,7,71,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412468039262791,0.2069783036502464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037575449720678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513835411296143,0.0,0.08699343525064276,0.10251556461105844,0.0,0.0,0.23151557686419155,0.0,0.08838810047904892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6201055634825761,0.16874950896006638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05106997510339862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4885312257230022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05276971638343725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112658071456854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047853629629844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769994787797212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812542681362657,0.1140196988219494,0.0,0.10542052626476553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550841550697081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147073854432176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424856995201112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741746512065188,0.0,0.0,0.09691476762976324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673261988532557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131460845910224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411465353109453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557921837218048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519380319001468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298967084785843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tearsoverqueers,2018/01/14,"I've never been this broke, or felt so useless. Using a throwaway, because my SO knows my primary username.

I just got a new job, for which I get paid in 6 days... I already had a bank account balance of less than a dollar, and then an unauthorized charge on my debit card put me in the negative. I told my SO, and he's loaning me some money so I can get back above $0 and not get charged an overdraft fee. He also offered to help me get to and from work for a few days, because my car is past inspection/registration, AND the tank is on empty. He's very kind, and I appreciate him.

What he doesn't know is that I've been eating around 800 calories a day, for the past week, because we've been low on groceries and I can't afford to eat out like he does (and like I normally would). He also doesn't know that I haven't left our room since he left for work this morning, because I owe one of our roommates a single-digit amount of money. She's being cool about it, obviously, but I'm so embarrassed to even look at her.

I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years, so I know exactly what this is: a spiral. I'm going back and forth between being anxious about my financial situation (on top of everything else) and depressed about my inability to fix it on my own. I know that it's temporary, but I am completely dependent on other people for the next 5 days, and I hate it. I hate myself. I'm staying in bed.

Thanks for the space to rant. If this post is inappropriate in any way, feel free to remove it.",3.8152120655336113,4.472931041800647,5.400505282498852,82.72101822079316,71.37942122186496,8.496156790690554,28.635890369009342,8.704169506293173,2.0312166896340527,1178,43,248,20,21,401,172,311,0.153,0.774,0.07400000000000001,-0.9815,3,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,2,0,0,3,16,15,2,2,15,1,18,2,0,2,3,36,42,25,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,16,15,2,0,7,0,11,4,7,9,0,1,8,4,32,7,38,31,5,40,0,5,1,0,15,19,0,4,16,156,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224759013360005,0.17718015538045895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533364753015064,0.0,0.08474577662764234,0.12514895190940836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861696506289767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036471721939747,0.0,0.2701198624208858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614987235868104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28577365035749625,0.0,0.19082790690107312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694361511752132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22670953349554845,0.09254179781685144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316860977437242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995611922936864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601328667153346,0.0,0.1063653942612893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231510216746848,0.0,0.06295836620824077,0.0,0.08860023758518623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21874302956985786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425295548821148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993125190869547,0.0,0.0,0.11535947853464755,0.3044067266705636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24072382670267564,0.0,0.0,0.10824223247517023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302661859219596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543974013790906,0.10699123137152226,0.11781492462353114,0.0,0.10854008490232184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506684568342513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150254229946416,0.0768003414862588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106095841189565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136368270215774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163769018100068,0.12452045028206672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807587619422046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581046143685216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199059388901102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058542627503828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567765138366108,0.0,0.09140443293915236,0.0,0.0879313641497264,0.08886038358930093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612971384237728,0.0,0.0,0.07869435769554288,0.0,0.0,0.07133816589532048
mentalhealth,pinkie7_,2018/01/14,"I‘m either having suicidal thoughts or I’m glad to be alive, switches several times a day Hey,

I’ve been depressed for several years without ever feeling a thing, besides shame and a deep wish to kill myself. It kept getting worse until I was unable to get out of bed and had a strong urge to just end it. It was a very intense pressure lasting on me to just kill myself impulsively. I then made some changes a few weeks ago and put my mental health first. Now I’m still the same but sometimes I’m so happy to be alive. It won’t last longer than a few hours and I’m still not functioning very well. But I, at least for a few hours, am so grateful to be alive and am optimistic about the future for once. Am I recovering or am I going completely batshit now? I can’t tell really

Can’t wait to see my therapist again soon",1.9591071428571425,4.025785982142859,3.4657142857142844,88.91678571428572,79.05952380952381,6.5809523809523816,24.190476190476193,7.6454224807358475,1.1803619047619052,647,23,135,10,16,213,106,168,0.113,0.715,0.172,0.9272,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,2,13,9,2,2,10,0,15,1,0,1,1,24,30,13,3,1,9,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,5,5,1,1,7,2,11,4,19,19,7,27,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,3,21,91,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276937581770602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238833519372205,0.0,0.15103619737835447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929018788062872,0.0,0.1240721183188394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758766658627235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030364009986306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283722013405877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253089516546298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052286361410355,0.0,0.08186829681467035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334645508281874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312096165035627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837251874894747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187452679371409,0.0,0.0,0.2348438596886856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630586093409738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451709345324248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341110127616353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481244636620913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228365409006546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479110975718723,0.0,0.0,0.3254764110960447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247150388798618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300808603977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756994149614753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259081442071968,0.0,0.0,0.1672559355722509,0.09570201156289757,0.0,0.0,0.1143615122844783,0.08399811103784773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377166275658429,0.0,0.0,0.11555014364083242,0.0,0.12952040475924753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656531471668958,0.1388613700348923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468016991235866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276502062354718
mentalhealth,Greeeaaaat,2018/01/15,"Some form of anxiety + paranoia? What is this feeling I am having? I know the title is shitty but I simply cannot sum up how I feel in such a small amount of words. Let me give you an analogy, and this is just an example, but it describes how I feel.

Imagine somebody is pointing a gun to your head. Nobody else can see this person, but to you the threat is very real. You shove him away, he is unphased and continues pointing the gun to your head. Everywhere you go, work, shop, etc he follows you, with the gun firmly placed against your head. He never goes away. So now, you have to live your life, go to work, do shopping whilst repressing the fact that there is a man pointing a gun at your head 24 hours a day and you always have the feeling in the back of your head that, at any moment he could shoot you in the head and kill you.

I have various thoughts about everything that could go wrong, but it doesn't just give me a spike of anxiety, it lingers in my head and ruins any interest I could ever hope for. All I can think about is when I can stop doing said activity so the feeling will stop. My oven will explode, my car will break down in the middle of a highway, my video game will crash, etc etc etc. It has truly destroyed me and made me miserable. I am in the process of seeking help from mental health professionals so maybe this post wont matter in a while. Is there anyway I can cope in the meantime? Or prevent it from worsening if possible. Thank you.

",2.9560923423423446,4.54492125337838,3.810540540540541,89.7099099099099,74.64189189189189,6.9603603603603625,25.171171171171174,7.6454224807358475,1.1482819819819818,1145,38,243,15,24,366,158,296,0.205,0.722,0.07400000000000001,-0.9928,0,0,0,5,0,0,36.0,0,16,0,2,17,10,3,2,22,0,33,9,7,3,4,43,52,19,1,5,8,0,5,0,0,5,2,1,1,2,13,7,0,4,9,4,2,5,4,7,0,0,3,7,36,3,32,40,9,40,0,2,1,0,28,20,0,4,13,173,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122616876946558,0.0,0.0,0.11642205294358593,0.0,0.13096773642003626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16084828734901602,0.06582121926293802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20503422495149573,0.0,0.0,0.05520500490582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150792798540707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818671071217937,0.0,0.07743022190066108,0.0,0.0,0.07693188090821572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164099987262519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423089699775387,0.14594558641947966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6149530318429657,0.09098893959634027,0.0,0.0,0.05737596544496563,0.0,0.0,0.08502024756456343,0.0842988891533652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470386555296406,0.0,0.047043595007981116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753193659869334,0.06046190613896321,0.0,0.0,0.07558648658671711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099691651284043,0.0,0.0,0.08599684004023399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626480170283292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602010041954212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474273525530344,0.08943392096731592,0.0,0.24275938510755046,0.09650128942541353,0.08198126630681361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743169274313468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142532966482045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821222410909064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313108988393206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880910264395417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05484910948351032,0.0,0.06795694476605524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062907531897633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463583408533145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935903087918229,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chris_81,2018/01/15,"Sinuses and mental health Background: Pure OCD, Anxiety, Depression etc. Not related to this post.

Long story short. Every time I have a cold, especially when related to the sinuses, I get into an almost euphoric state of mind. With almost exclusively positive memories, music sounds better, I get more creative and things smell better (everything smells the same but better). I feel like I become the normal me and it feels great.

Ideally I would like to stay in this state of mind but it goes away once the cold or sinus infection has passed. No one that I have talked to has heard of anyone with a similar ""condition"".

Any thoughts?",3.8819060585432297,6.968491690265488,4.716814159292039,76.7273519400953,79.0,8.786657590197413,25.50646698434309,9.265573868473778,2.983752076242342,503,19,81,15,13,162,80,113,0.052000000000000005,0.736,0.212,0.9636,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,4,1,8,0,0,7,0,5,5,0,0,1,22,11,7,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,1,5,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,8,8,7,12,8,3,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,5,51,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285178370415493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155048497915312,0.0,0.12548751842879974,0.0,0.0,0.11469817589315345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541177466656023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116549140229532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.435231017680322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128444765568898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829441240727113,0.0,0.0,0.13820787555574504,0.0,0.14742548183424234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588362566634365,0.11718775032170485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140466313810065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808508850826785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436319121822902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027995356256886,0.0,0.0,0.14516719253287827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531026937386856,0.0,0.331260325470408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072099928105324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469358145683095,0.11115541748446353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710167935556912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748411458310466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184637230032015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897860072361844,0.0,0.0,0.1302267045579121,0.09565103653349603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652686487200024,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Damianyo11,2018/01/15,"Bathroom problems I have been straggling with mental issues for the last 7 year. It start from me just using a toilet for a number 2 every time I wanted to walk out the house. I had this for 5 years as I thought it’s normal for some people. About 2 year ago I started going college and traveled 40 min to school and reading about people with similar problems therefore health had worsen. Now as soon as a family member uses the bathroom something automatically clicks is my head and I get the feeling I need to go. It gotten so bad I started tracking how many time a family member uses a bathroom and a soon as they went X amount of times I’m fine. I have dropped out of 2 school because of this problem. I went to my local doctors and they said I can’t take unti depressants as I’m only 17.


Please help this problem has basically ruined my life ",4.368057199211049,5.513351994082843,5.612559171597635,79.90728057199212,70.47928994082841,7.053451676528598,28.87623274161736,7.1686216300943375,1.7054138067061149,673,25,123,6,12,225,104,169,0.154,0.7879999999999999,0.059,-0.9555,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,8,8,0,0,10,0,8,4,1,5,0,25,28,12,0,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,2,0,6,1,7,0,0,8,3,17,1,23,20,2,25,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,1,15,76,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793790750922444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166923696731812,0.07422721397405488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487658146142877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124632309012597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025928172551372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295796480396802,0.0,0.06156837454151634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361752979450433,0.0,0.13840445728391298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124966692893764,0.12943119877028406,0.0,0.0,0.08161695279766715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050121895457576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270917096061186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925526183918217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600668417743777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345126374832925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227111420971829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028769135859878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930449000826655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260826868849414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883394889039413,0.0,0.0,0.1336621252239035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.466053153583997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179860794969223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582702332325208,0.0,0.0,0.2464666901382007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374115125443652,0.0,0.0,0.2585590750446174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155261971526484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666832985259108,0.21300760043997727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31549929448983394,0.0,0.0,0.07182053900400186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22575596686400026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23523927149842114
mentalhealth,MarquisOfHell,2018/01/15,"The only autism support service in my part of the UK might be closing, we could really use some signatures for the petition! It looks after probably half of scotlands autistic population and the NHS want to pull funding and stop it all together :( the nearest similar service if this one goes is over 200 miles away!

Anyway the person who made it is far more eloquent and better informed about the whole thing than i am so i'll let the link do the talking https://www.thepetitionsite.com/en-gb/802/012/187/save-our-vital-autism-service-the-highland-one-stop-shop/
",12.823103448275859,14.39865889655173,8.556919540229888,64.70503448275863,51.98850574712644,10.63816091954023,38.089655172413785,10.355215969177356,4.129107586206897,472,18,63,8,5,128,71,87,0.054000000000000006,0.863,0.083,0.3915,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,9,0,8,0,0,2,1,16,13,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,2,10,8,5,10,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,3,2,49,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271665514266974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023842873024453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18076741854190345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23151630742617524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012470222328995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423160223144136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401818514837963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068382340105856,0.17219258476031565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24517651699348936,0.0,0.0,0.19768969756232235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441048392790504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504200288970318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785724696088422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25692377012895823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819772214115745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041462731968794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955427946756342,0.0,0.0,0.13354060523015313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527751230110357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queer_artsy_kid,2018/01/15,"I feel horrible I live in Hawaii and the whole false alarm missle thing completely fucked up my anxiety and I had a panic attack for the first time in months, and I felt really anxious and sensitive for the rest of the day. Later that day I went to volunteer at a film festival and i felt  another panic attack coming on, so I decided to take my panic attack meds hydroxyzine. But it didn't work after the first dosage, and this is where I completely fucked up and took another dosage almost immediately after the first one. I still didn't feel any better and wanted to take another dosage, but thank god I only brought 2 pills because I would have taken more. But I slowly started to feeling really weird and spacey like I was high or drunk or something. I was still anxious and still ended up having a panic attack once my shift was over, so the meds were basically pointless. But right before I broke down, I started feeling really suicidal and was thinking really horrible things like ""no one gives a shit about you, you could literally kill yourself and no one would even care, because you don't even have any friends"" and this is made me start tearing up, and want to end it even more. But at the time I was really pist because I didn't bring my makeup bag so I didn't have my eyebrow trimming blade that I would have taken with me to the bathroom and used for something other than trimming my eyebrows, and thank God because I just really wanted to die at that point. But when I finished crying in the bathroom I still felt really out of it and delirious, so I called my dad to come pick me up. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, so this  girl I was talking to earlier I completely ignored when she came by to sit next to me, and when I did try to respond to her I'd stutter and just sounded confused af. When I went to wait for my dad to come get me I kept almost falling asleep, and when he finally came I knocked out in his car, and I ended up sleeping through the entire next day, and today when my mom tried to wake me up I still felt sick and  out of it and dizzy, and I still feel like I'm in a dream or something and idk how long it takes to get over this, because I'm starting to get scared ",8.176670428893907,5.9979199119638835,8.178071106094809,75.88141817155758,63.19864559819413,11.297923250564336,35.694018058690745,9.766711354998122,3.1883445598194124,1743,60,349,27,20,568,193,443,0.219,0.6940000000000001,0.086,-0.9965,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,5,25,29,8,7,16,0,26,9,4,4,0,75,74,47,3,7,11,3,10,4,1,3,2,1,0,1,15,35,1,3,12,3,0,12,8,19,0,6,28,11,55,10,55,42,4,76,0,1,0,2,17,26,3,6,41,238,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999870550807737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149276713156746,0.18848815323511608,0.04583720599308727,0.13538086537800167,0.0,0.04189615016117198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726620949975918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262768171641156,0.0,0.05098591605877289,0.0,0.0,0.052992717421303306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061183110707637677,0.13706075832936093,0.061090527597018725,0.0,0.0,0.15484249228874894,0.18846906019051388,0.0,0.0,0.0478397517924723,0.0,0.06581725305068377,0.11592671222179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062185559828305426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592090375075978,0.0,0.0,0.11872608070577663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177844336437166,0.08561104910860483,0.2301232076124664,0.06563738342211448,0.0,0.15289899412845498,0.0,0.0,0.04629259915629992,0.11078669267442699,0.09391425080528623,0.05747893078011448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330679483301316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629053402542809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709188834072635,0.0,0.052908807171520036,0.0530256601682911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669598404139435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311107129523134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017539051933458,0.04782608028361689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274472235414591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381085369418855,0.1218062281956874,0.04557043842238745,0.0,0.281204065241731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056642000776142565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686956217877608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116975624266649,0.0,0.0,0.059988501647147564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061505100131263535,0.0,0.0,0.05996140287143256,0.0,0.0,0.138383713075982,0.0,0.0,0.16964144526523034,0.0,0.2871041795257127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554070989499362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515293218070112,0.09631984761894946,0.0,0.1103291290134458,0.0,0.0,0.07961388722562353,0.03839311877346354,0.0,0.0,0.06987748773637313,0.0,0.056795381873757135,0.0,0.06657124789721885,0.08136095525084028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175002684413625,0.0,0.0,0.10602379776109046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108941493191572,0.0,0.06689645314239198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04362111278129704,0.0,0.0,0.12769236277224885,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Neutrinosandgluons,2018/01/15,"I'm seriously losing it I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me. Im 19 years old and this summer i started to experiment with psychadelic drugs such a lsd and shrooms. I was previously diagnosed with depression and ocd, but for the most part i was mentally stable before doing these drugs. One day, after my 7th or 8th time doing them, something just felt incredibly off. My ability to conduct internal speech was gone. GONE. When I tried to think of a word, it would come out stuttered and garbled. This has continued to persist for 4 months. Oddly enough, I can sort of read, even though i encounter stuttered and garbled words when reading to. When I was depressed, i thought that was bad, but this new disorder pales in comparison. I'm questioning my sanity. I dont think I could make this shit up for four months. This thought problem has made me a hermit: I can;t spend time with friends and i can barely make it through the day without wanting to bash my brains in. Does anyone have any advice as to what i should do or is the situation I'm in fubar?",3.5869322493224938,5.723018687804878,4.335569105691061,84.26357046070461,74.3170731707317,7.6775067750677515,27.974254742547426,8.515128840125781,2.0905392953929542,841,34,163,16,18,269,127,205,0.209,0.745,0.047,-0.9868,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,2,7,12,2,0,7,0,20,5,2,3,0,37,36,15,0,5,6,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,12,12,0,0,7,2,1,3,3,11,0,2,11,2,21,1,26,22,3,25,1,3,0,0,3,6,2,5,16,109,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283650129509581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933037709930368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918510691105688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096814300133488,0.0,0.0,0.11177902698850277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466429640746854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315636723783044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048815304322442,0.0,0.0,0.16943470008711958,0.0,0.2262830679706714,0.1333292357526742,0.0,0.0,0.15055174814309333,0.0,0.11495540146721235,0.0,0.15395479018785718,0.0,0.3046754501008637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357316244453687,0.0,0.08676308286228307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849682884493047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612771439049536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148962871423456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482912313106524,0.14189304517216755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696000393431013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429750056853775,0.17536974568564753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238157327881536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20970311537069508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268698298580555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378418779109601,0.0,0.0890140043978592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225178705178798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569528864408488,0.0,0.0,0.1471550300109369,0.0,0.26279425108406745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484077131375047,0.0,0.147655916644952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112855990046718,0.0,0.0,0.09297840048030304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834238908661714,0.1290620826729015,0.20857283818590205,0.15319598413352134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918588814125275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748046171351346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266278728044208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331549551900847,0.14362326321912572,0.0,0.0845925488799828
mentalhealth,stella__art,2018/01/15,"Psychiatrist or not? I’m a 16 yo male. I’ve been so fucking miserable in the last 1,5 year. I don’t want to say a lot but do psychiatrists really help? My family is not that wealthy so is it affordable?",-0.5401550387596927,1.675772232558142,3.121279069767444,85.44920542635661,94.11627906976744,8.448062015503877,21.12015503875969,8.841846274778883,2.09535968992248,158,6,36,6,6,58,36,43,0.115,0.755,0.13,0.1603,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,7,1,3,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,2,2,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062327884201966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39837836414190064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888364243125362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512571094746057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663525607083216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276058225498433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426846802052224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541676326674606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27749819005507703
mentalhealth,SparkyMuffin,2018/01/15,"I want to get better. How do I start? Hi. I feel like I've been having issues with my mental health for years now. Each time I have a possible depressive episode, I end up telling myself that I'm faking it or I'm seeking attention. However, I'm finally taking a stand and saying to myself ""I'm *not* okay. I need help.""

So the question is, where do I start? I originally saw a therapist when I was in college, but I graduated a little while ago. Last night I was looking through my health insurance provider's list of doctors, but it felt so... overwhelming.

Should I keep searching on my own, or should I have my doctor refer me to a therapist (then later a psychiatrist)? I have an appointment for a routine checkup in about two weeks (for some reason it's taking almost a month to get in to my primary care physician) so I can mention it then.",1.7668529607451762,4.177464970059884,3.855878243512976,83.94260645375915,81.93413173652695,7.064404524284765,26.04424484364604,8.167268648758528,1.9862444444444445,658,28,127,14,18,224,106,167,0.026,0.898,0.077,0.7536,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,10,1,13,6,0,3,0,23,31,13,0,4,5,0,2,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,5,23,4,17,24,3,26,0,2,2,0,6,7,0,5,19,88,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488584327194608,0.0,0.15237211666621442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457832711095438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514322356730675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106022208828544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31149638691406395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477377629316992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693962492468852,0.10870731236192607,0.14610307706848533,0.1666902489008311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900075054681834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32349036209242105,0.0,0.0,0.10199356053348654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588216115976638,0.0,0.13525199748312633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403547559240705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743405472391515,0.1525101553042182,0.0,0.0,0.12778098854415368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334738520132585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145732829047028,0.0,0.0,0.11282904835764965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427973405432725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154413051247466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046057478009252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645183514111471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210083899826648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21540754110584115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22881956115359994,0.0,0.13299965831254332,0.0,0.0,0.3533525558957865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872912977375337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148643923133906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975135975257424,0.0,0.12205826492769148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979898172908071
mentalhealth,Linduskainen,2018/01/15,"Searching for a well known book that helps with depression. I dont know the title or author but I’ve heard that it gives you a new perspective on how we are nothing but dust. My boyfriend stumbled upon a post on reddit where people talked about how this book helped them during hard times as it gave them a new perspective on life. Basically that we are nothing but dust and nothing matters. 
He can’t find it again as he didn’t save it unfortunately. But he told me about it as I suffer from depression. I was hoping that someone would know what book that could be.

TL;DR Looking for a book which helps with depression and gives you a new perspective on how we are nothing but dust. ",5.294678362573098,6.335384917293236,5.256040100250626,83.70021720969092,68.24812030075189,8.317126148705098,28.311612364243945,8.515128840125781,1.8843406850459483,546,18,107,8,9,170,76,133,0.158,0.741,0.101,-0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,3,2,2,0,8,7,0,0,7,0,10,1,0,3,0,25,19,14,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,13,7,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,4,1,0,5,3,12,3,15,11,0,12,0,4,1,0,19,6,0,2,5,71,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302364831765208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365774666747623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590654227963827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938271125026166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715933178896034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680940182915218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28465281089947225,0.0,0.0,0.14060040799856954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559466930083346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998757843011344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887422885115885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101568018573316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433201824262641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813945199606088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557475802718888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994280560909752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378006966381235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254441445993893,0.0,0.0,0.13526605659205726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272788856721928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055972395388874,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,october_14,2018/01/15,"How do you recognize the difference between high stress and a depressive episode/slump? Hi everyone. Sorry if I do not use correct terminology here, as I am very new to all this. I am in high school and in my country/culture mental health is rarely discussed, so I have been avoiding this for a while. But I am really not sure whether what I am experiencing is just stress due to the general high school academic stress/family pressure or something more. I feel like my problems are completely fake and superficial but I have been feeling 'down' for a while now, and I have done some bad things to myself to try and temporarily feel a bit more content. I was not in a good shape when I was a child either, but I think this really got worse last year when someone I was close to passed away, and I started having panic attacks. I suppose I've had some periods of time where I've felt really bad, but there have been times where I've felt a lot better. Also, I am always doing many activities and trying to aim for high grades, always smiling, trying to mask what I really feel. But I feel that in the community I am in, if I try to say what I feel, I will be labelled an attention seeker as it has happened in the past. 
I suppose what I am trying to say is, how do you guys know when to ask for help? And what sort of techniques do you use to cope, especially in periods of high stress? Do any of you identify with anything I've said above? Thanks. ",6.1818162020905945,5.8232874843205575,6.947088414634148,77.20404725609757,66.14285714285714,10.380574912891989,32.223214285714285,9.978442167317967,2.9299339721254363,1136,41,228,23,16,378,150,287,0.158,0.778,0.065,-0.9753,0,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,4,0,1,13,17,1,6,12,0,33,1,0,4,3,49,51,28,0,3,14,0,8,1,0,1,1,3,0,2,11,10,0,1,11,0,0,1,3,12,0,0,12,12,31,5,32,37,8,35,0,1,0,0,13,18,0,7,17,161,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987208673099961,0.14540252535350714,0.0,0.0,0.05941657679085398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190046250957864,0.0,0.08168187891202955,0.09939930177621843,0.08208972763589019,0.0,0.145905465095582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727424101173312,0.09538859129848336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160883664215776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525416169240727,0.0,0.0,0.09128609741036954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941282493452117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348856238283325,0.0,0.0,0.08236740611734218,0.0,0.2650702195851021,0.062419226301331135,0.16778339621710114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328425380534304,0.06988009996543967,0.0,0.0,0.08651292033734384,0.07726357816015357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287332047415464,0.0,0.0,0.05856422165072296,0.4615713969444413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04801786782894109,0.0712205853698149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04268599177612102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428132590513058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858241977181072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805134568805159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438530355495939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251328752501923,0.0,0.0,0.08340733163734962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360407749838146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389330078538566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311164818738832,0.1389648941653562,0.0,0.17685210456896902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403078540736573,0.06726393686209371,0.0,0.09780682245840894,0.061842997325394285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003415052498283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234793621767716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044123910668034,0.0,0.0,0.0580466808339272,0.05598503450400622,0.0,0.0,0.10189569607661234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966023621233859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092428700815594,0.0,0.07209180342130649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904046253306404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626529115481306
mentalhealth,NotDowneyNotJulia,2018/01/15,"HELP! Remembering childhood nightmare and ""panic attacks""? I'm already 21 years old but when I remember my childhood nightmare, I get panic attacks. I'm not really sure if it's a panic attack but I experience uneasiness, shaking, and an increased heart rate. I'm having one now as I write.


The nightmare: A huge spinning spiral wheel. My mom crying beside it. My dad screaming so loud while running towards the wheel. He phases through the wheel that acts like somewhat of a portal. Then it starts again. Something like a loop.


Not really good at describing especially since I'm panicking and hsaking right now. It was a recurring dream when I was a child. And no, I dont have family issues. My mom and my dad are happily married. So it really does not make sense even to me but why do i get these ""panic attacks""?",2.6143137254901987,5.429085888888892,4.15245098039216,80.43102941176474,82.26797385620915,6.798692810457518,27.45424836601307,7.984000788550335,2.3190758169934647,643,29,109,13,18,213,96,153,0.272,0.61,0.117,-0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,8,14,4,5,10,0,7,1,1,1,1,18,15,16,0,1,7,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,7,5,0,0,2,1,0,4,5,10,0,1,2,2,13,4,6,13,2,21,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,15,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264039424314057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5212487262842788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582298731513075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023964587780826,0.0,0.1342466161020255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565630314346544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204759807229192,0.10798341829066192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969071978420788,0.0,0.0,0.09607543330316473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357371137972942,0.07677751602821893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955586966751375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192241014718908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646009226554046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683088965851895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019636182878865,0.0,0.07761907805221333,0.0,0.0,0.5375784295741881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22014257602767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25951572118758365,0.09782133547386736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475332234792648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881828161458499,0.0,0.0,0.08107598094108615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795789331156268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335960758436448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737636251572676
mentalhealth,anonymouscarbonunit,2018/01/15,My best friend died and my mom tried to slit her wrists all within 3 days of each other. I don't know what to do or feel. I feel disconnected and not as emotional as I should be. I don't feel like I'm repressing anything but i know this is gonna impact my mental health for years. What should i do?,0.8702051282051322,2.5450668153846188,2.6134615384615394,95.62070512820513,80.84615384615384,6.17948717948718,16.98717948717949,7.1686216300943375,-0.2399743589743588,233,4,57,3,6,77,45,65,0.117,0.804,0.079,-0.0713,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,8,2,1,0,1,15,15,6,1,2,3,1,3,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,10,3,7,11,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,37,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164420649288974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826561412120143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370228118316824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795328201363077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029717067707498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085598091737526,0.19241684129104966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20809173109204765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862962587773553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29604488875181445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315861184386672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271431781722675,0.0,0.0,0.3154482305891761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828644570624192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734463920790297
mentalhealth,OG_Smartypan,2018/01/15,"Ways to quiet my inner voice? I'm not sure if this is normal but my inner ""head voice"" is always going and contradicting itself which ends up being very confusing and frustrating for me.  It's hard to sleep sometimes cause I can't stop it from racing.  Any advice for how to quiet it, even temporarily?",5.228448275862071,6.387735120689657,6.340862068965517,75.4278448275862,68.48275862068965,8.558620689655173,23.12068965517241,8.841846274778883,1.6340551724137935,239,5,42,4,4,80,46,58,0.211,0.753,0.037000000000000005,-0.8777,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,4,2,2,2,1,11,6,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,5,4,1,7,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,28,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774789817946497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23627453517154465,0.0,0.0,0.19310014084847932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917015200910209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25150115484019103,0.0,0.0,0.18755057422998092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137900899509422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543692276098664,0.0,0.2914212656492814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782170566473081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841615458032695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808402153465088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374003285251837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676256179851608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23429383088959815,0.0,0.2253914334297354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sumsumsumaaa,2018/01/15,"How do I know if my therapist is a good fit? I went to my first therapy session ever this past weekend. The therapist asked general questions and basically gathered basic information on me, my past and current home life. I don't want to jump the gun too fast, but how do I know if this therapist is a good fit? 

She seemed to listen well, but I noticed she jumped to a few conclusions after I told her about my past and patterns of behavior. Also, at some points, she closed her eyes for a few seconds at a time while I was talking to her.  I'm not sure if she was still actively listening and trying to formulate a response or just tired? I suppose the experience didn't deter me too much. Once I sat down, everything I'd been holding onto just poured out. In the next session we will be trying CBT so I'm interested to see how that works. Just wondering if my experience is in line with others on here, and if I should give it another chance or try someone else? Thanks.",4.107623982235381,5.32864804145078,5.5605218356772745,79.75027202072539,71.1761658031088,9.244855662472245,30.366025166543302,9.606745405546679,2.8267071798667653,764,32,151,18,14,258,120,193,0.047,0.812,0.141,0.9616,1,0,0,1,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,3,15,6,0,0,10,0,13,3,1,3,2,39,29,20,0,7,13,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,5,9,0,1,7,1,0,3,3,0,1,2,7,4,25,6,21,19,4,29,0,0,2,0,17,13,0,11,13,110,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369665826332994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596978465902826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122348537344516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832223465073876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172934932123028,0.0,0.0,0.11653859216229945,0.2536833198370377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029681679938523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243908071642242,0.0,0.21752126145001066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006908858259586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252594029318788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915894078982721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953220079440565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379049922467072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762959368103984,0.0,0.1380937934844884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713526518287255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225795974336138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452595246103079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332980907377964,0.1180462495407738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986855287302638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355423615436353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222119762005968,0.0,0.0,0.1042234382985537,0.0,0.11938226081665655,0.14828838258423646,0.4516688772944368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756113325714713,0.14903602366420346,0.0,0.123904771237759,0.0,0.2641112514954525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648243511795448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165884598837042,0.12020493251383768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062104950391166,0.094400945783501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erinjpg,2018/01/15,"What’s wrong with me? I honestly don’t even know why I’m posting this, I just don’t know. I’m 19 and had a miscarriage in December 2016 and ever since I’ve been horribly struggling with it, I’ve self harmed and attempted to take my own life. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now and we love and care about each other every month however when I miscarried my boyfriend dealt with it in his own way which meant leaving me in a terrible state the next day to go to a concert with his friend. This led to  trust and abandonment issues. Things have gotten better now but my main issue is my new way of coping,   I’ll post on “trying to conceive” subreddits pretending that I’m trying to have a baby or ill post things on similar sites like “my symptoms for this month” it just brings me comfort to pretend I’m like these other woman who’re trying to start a family, when in reality I’m on birth control and avoiding pregnancy for my boyfriends sake. Posting things like that is risky because if my boyfriend ever saw them he’d freak out and think I was trying to get pregnant without him knowing. Again i don’t even know why I’m posting, I think just needed to vent honestly. ",7.205506329113923,6.121271881856544,7.198575949367089,78.62925632911394,64.35864978902954,10.600421940928273,34.517932489451475,9.725611199111238,3.055005907172996,944,35,188,16,12,303,135,237,0.11,0.762,0.128,0.6808,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,3,13,18,0,2,6,0,12,4,0,2,2,37,35,13,0,2,7,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,0,2,16,16,0,3,7,3,0,3,4,7,0,1,7,2,23,11,30,27,4,36,0,1,1,1,10,10,0,2,18,114,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780983082647757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983812303151793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341485317342878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476320418149325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173949635444668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694368658837634,0.20124280873601932,0.0937230593689565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486556251602328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859424290941034,0.0,0.05811741680715105,0.0,0.06321928529698721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23220775417627956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24453462640444976,0.0,0.0,0.1177852905547012,0.0,0.0,0.07857089592581061,0.16303623302572862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039690230283373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775786881071799,0.0,0.0,0.08248178463063162,0.0,0.10743463637509212,0.11830318638483267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326776770859901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604579958132252,0.0,0.0,0.09201746532538374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873503619824393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162904160780743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561917862143857,0.08363735242417862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22170533678695845,0.14255401286712333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020939958054732,0.0,0.10866364852887424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659155824813008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007505145205636,0.0,0.0,0.10722974473060333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162161071875348,0.0,0.0716338134852958
mentalhealth,TheUltraSonicGamer,2018/01/15,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Hello everyone. As of recent I’ve been feeling a little distraught due to my recent emotional state. I’m 16 and live in Houston with my family. Lately, I’ve been continually switching between moods and I don’t know why. One day, I’ll be in a good mood or really happy, but say upset or sad the next day, I’ll be feeling down for no reason. There are also points where I start getting annoyed by the littlest things.

The times every mood changes vary and sometimes happen twice in a day. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me whether I have some kind of mental illness or something similar. I would get therapy but I can’t right now because of current issues with my insurance company. If someone could give a little insight of what may be happening it would be greatly appreciated!",3.389223214285714,5.460454618750003,4.8708928571428585,80.49625000000003,74.6875,7.321428571428572,28.92857142857143,8.192908349453996,2.224294642857143,649,28,118,11,14,217,106,160,0.171,0.747,0.08199999999999999,-0.9498,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,14,1,2,7,0,15,1,0,1,1,27,27,12,0,4,8,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,2,3,11,5,17,17,1,23,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,6,13,74,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030084176533543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407952950087069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459093634283339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012415490208914,0.0,0.0,0.2668561339820982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515025253572495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621015181838605,0.13179595943738434,0.0,0.0,0.13002608987115485,0.0,0.13948091775055718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441232045971493,0.13231294978900368,0.0,0.11568732609910105,0.0,0.1520659277008468,0.0,0.0,0.2439382622613368,0.14682674770796664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143960827505648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363061778175992,0.15160306466012566,0.0,0.15558860834114208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276479856107103,0.12179280741080385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899881916155396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668781987001514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346347224688703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038638859363158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836010450540532,0.14181278873273565,0.2723741994588285,0.0,0.0,0.11778961954514636,0.0,0.10968575234686034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168658090664774,0.1061835878024187,0.1364141580295305,0.0,0.09762603324763748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999535447419433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773250263789307,0.0,0.09163312643452713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042683119501515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445841998293247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19595995674260705,0.3016048759224441,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noxiume,2018/01/15,"I used to be passionate and curious, now I'm just a zombie I am too tired to do anything that takes focus. All I can do is sleep and watch TV: On a good day, I only sleep ten hours. The guilty feeling I carry along is always there and draws all the energy out of me. Even if I wanted to be active, it will prevent me from doing anything that I would have enjoyed in the past.

I used to love math. Now I can't even open a book, sit down and read. It makes me even more depressed: I feel like I am slowly losing touch with life. ",2.4301106194690263,3.074255407079648,4.016095132743363,91.42732853982302,74.57522123893807,6.7119469026548675,21.204646017699112,6.6274283507984215,0.1984699115044246,403,8,94,3,8,135,77,113,0.098,0.685,0.217,0.9076,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,6,0,14,6,2,3,2,20,23,5,0,3,2,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,14,5,12,19,3,11,0,2,1,2,1,5,0,1,6,67,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159663251427559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158091400548769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237496095973674,0.0,0.16526981371269814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802136501962428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940451080551727,0.13708230443224215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094359038890385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889675517648745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553367657468612,0.09374506007809358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466964091709065,0.0,0.0,0.1731832267594477,0.0,0.128084374408724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593678685104633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317543976267306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919363976762993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840460953669063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427324188494947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205429720838112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33145314807322285,0.0,0.0,0.11317843255886817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630922277342936,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cgjnhfdfbbnhdd,2018/01/15,"Depression or something else? Planning on showing this list to someone eventually, hopefully soon. Not really sure when all of this came about.   
Freshmen year and every year before that I had emotions. Freshmen year I was pretty anxious and shy. I think towards the end of the year is when my emotions started going away


not really feeling anything at all (no             sadness, worry, excitement,etc) ex: not       caring about my birthday or Christmas, no excitement about waking up early or opening up presents 

Brief moments of anxious feeling or butterflies(as in attraction)

No desire to run cross country or track

No desire to shower or brush teeth( I made a New Years resolution to brush my teeth twice a day and have stuck with it)

Naturally crying at moments someone would be expected to cry such as sad scenes in a movie, but not feeling any emotion behind it. Like my mind knows it’s supposed to be sad but just isn’t 

Caring about school and doing work because I know I should, not because I actually have any feelings about it

Laughing and feeling like I fit in but not sure if what I’m experiencing is actually happiness. I slip into a mood where I can laugh at jokes etc but if I consciously think about it it stops. Some conversations and days I can’t slip into and I find nothing funny",6.906736694677871,7.8055707100840355,7.058504201680673,72.71688795518209,64.58823529411765,9.37187675070028,36.45490196078431,9.3871,3.575931876750701,1031,49,170,18,15,332,138,238,0.16899999999999998,0.679,0.152,0.8187,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,12,18,0,0,6,0,14,3,3,1,4,56,32,22,0,8,19,1,5,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,1,11,2,0,5,12,4,0,1,5,8,17,13,31,23,4,39,0,4,0,0,2,16,0,10,20,118,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.20817990322760616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507213103926975,0.0,0.0,0.2410028685198413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777645803872118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021556582173358,0.0,0.0,0.13004436052876836,0.0,0.0907643187976901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219966936488802,0.21750477586568026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23433365917734106,0.13758059582751714,0.0,0.09187067141818077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910517583874275,0.3599523361392561,0.0944738008247579,0.0,0.2379200228963657,0.0,0.0,0.08987012040794426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269665917235079,0.07620171563595053,0.0,0.0,0.09749015691675199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060620351277460426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354720124833476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059427160389807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172409248420176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042225608904457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092929122132396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770155179902437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301801682555058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234823750585864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851696266842983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366650521818344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079509838597324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807543345918677,0.08211616344899307,0.0,0.0,0.07549825230954592,0.0,0.0,0.08917697164083235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010615763987131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366936417490385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765361285708218,0.1083237954976072,0.0,0.0757719727236745,0.0,0.0,0.34344479824652946
mentalhealth,wheelshit,2018/01/15,"Worried I'll be Involuntarily Committed.. (Ontario Canada) Tomorrow (or later today, technically) I go in to my GP to see a psychiatrist. As a teen, I only saw one a few times to ensure I was properly diagnosed and medicated (depression).

I'm now 22, and over the last year-ish I've developed some concerning new symptoms (auditory hallucinations, intrusive thoughts), so I'm going back to be referred to get help for it. My worry is that if I say that I hear a voice saying I should act violently I'll be committed, even though I've never felt any real urge to listen to it.

This is especially worrying after hearing the horror stories of people who were committed like that. Part of me knows it's unlikely to go so awry, but I can't stop worrying about what might happen if I say anything.
",5.646225165562915,6.615844516556294,7.95992715231788,64.88863245033113,67.41059602649007,11.60291390728477,34.305298013245036,11.407655852321104,4.492898807947019,626,29,108,21,10,226,107,151,0.096,0.828,0.076,-0.5932,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,1,0,6,0,10,3,0,0,4,19,25,10,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,2,3,7,0,0,9,2,0,1,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,5,10,11,1,16,15,3,17,0,1,2,0,8,2,0,5,12,69,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515953235946828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515329152880745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760017172049507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052446003344315,0.1420294880202478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242471216776056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343580393221207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310944274021783,0.0,0.23858218271302506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374267188127865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154302960894125,0.0,0.0937944298759549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690375471452864,0.11406442383941595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836440662029268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096821111128618,0.0,0.1484472579761936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079252894688778,0.13514858071624522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482251510622984,0.10642568076475442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515342705662028,0.0,0.09701222256568526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927488107293153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33384204520161403,0.0,0.0,0.11150882815244027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169906150517369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544441552080475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748388657130245,0.11109151438258168,0.08159630958060764,0.0,0.13264053165745526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5684367713693915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011254238371924
mentalhealth,Username_678,2018/01/15,"What to expect from my first therapy appointment? I’m a 17 year old male in high school. My parents are divorced, I suffer from mild depression (the reason I’m going), and I feel like my life is in shambles. My first appointment is on the 16th of this month. Idk what to expect. I have so much to talk about, that I don’t want to with my mom or friends. I haven’t started taking anti-depressants, but I’m supposed to start them sometime soon. ",3.237929373996792,4.7308531460674175,4.218009630818621,87.46707865168541,73.71910112359551,7.3329052969502415,26.19743178170145,7.957251820313856,1.4780195826645266,346,12,71,5,7,112,62,89,0.071,0.8690000000000001,0.061,-0.2144,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,3,4,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,0,9,15,4,0,3,2,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,1,11,2,13,15,1,13,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,1,9,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621131802462555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629026803290956,0.1501765751964136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576150123653453,0.0,0.0,0.1624104381530059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946918341767045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210211727748475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484800204961935,0.10269970381967747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24619952496774825,0.16779041997139602,0.0,0.1545311190240683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205837194496728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334172283275317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613450166500126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21274729722081945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790653881949467,0.0,0.2975804119510728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805439986220038,0.16896165844789746,0.0,0.0,0.2403974716149485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398937600432848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537060980646426
mentalhealth,Crius33,2018/01/15,"I think I made myself a sociopath I’m 17, turning 18 next month. Throughout my middle school life I was bullied and teased. I was falling apart emotionally and thought about killing myself. I don’t quite remember how it happened but I just stopped talking and showing emotion. I didn’t really have any friends and only talked to my self. I also wanted to add that I was molested by my cousin from the age of 4-6. Overtime I stopped “feeling” it’s not even really a copping mechanism anymore because I’m not sad or unhappy. I just lack the ability to empathize or feel love for anyone. I started consuming a lot of animal abuse video last year but stopped watching because I was starting to depend on it just to get through the day. I’m not trying to be edgy. I believe in unknowingly sacrificed my personality so I wouldn’t keep lo myself. ",3.864417989417987,5.9964682283950665,5.0932275132275135,79.1566666666667,73.50617283950619,7.838447971781306,34.410934744268076,8.634040054169528,3.1727675485008824,671,37,119,13,14,222,108,162,0.16399999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.126,-0.5308,0,0,0,0,1,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,3,0,6,0,9,2,0,3,0,32,25,11,1,3,10,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,4,5,0,4,5,2,0,1,6,4,0,0,7,3,22,2,15,16,2,16,0,1,1,1,8,4,0,5,11,76,26,1,0.0,0.17754252908685425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119831469496463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190014414065872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860656715539788,0.10477552525537838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268896979219545,0.0,0.0,0.16882467413522298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966380134168344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33711225511147785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897160335421308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153287203667906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577033625712807,0.0,0.07828813959624488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250796623737204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318965128421953,0.16578195121161146,0.0,0.0,0.12214416088816756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584037636863823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739336773533536,0.13524150133162294,0.14178752665711447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960532562884245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936249198943656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396432854703036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083939517323415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593792368872802,0.0,0.0,0.19198985244863984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974585034147618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165174367577175,0.0,0.0,0.15632163740736954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212296910777567,0.0,0.0,0.3758328853017997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24088042906019436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601500782785154,0.0,0.1189606658177612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173532399626646,0.16298897989965355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838281526467838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649565135624127
mentalhealth,littlecrystalgirl,2018/01/15,"Becoming passive, submissive, guilt ridden I am not doing well mentally. I used to live alone and, while I enjoyed it, I was not healthy. This summer I was hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts. I had been using prescription pills to get through work, and was raped. I never dealt with this. 

I am currently living with family. I work full time and I am saving for school in the fall, but I rely on my mother for rides to work and appointments. I feel guilty being here. And I notice that at work I am just quiet, and feel like a child among adults. I feel a sense of shame when my mom sees me lounging in her living room, even though I work full time. I am always either in my uniform, or in pajamas. I have a history of childhood trauma but used to advocate heavily for myself. I no longer feel that strong, motivated, or self assured.

My mother told me that if I move out, she will help me with rent so I can continue to save. I get the feeling she would prefer I not live here but has also told me I can stay. I am full of anxiety. I think moving out could help me feel more ""adult"", but I am terrified to live so far from family, without a car, with roommates. I am only in this city for 7 months before I return to school, but I know nobody here. 

I don't know if I am supposed to lay low right now or push myself. I feel tired and anxious, and just want to be cared for. I am 25 and feel like I do not deserve that.",3.0003271469015402,4.245550795847755,4.436296005033028,86.65384004403901,73.9134948096886,7.745894935514313,23.86300723497955,8.296473431620573,1.2814692041522493,1096,31,233,18,22,365,154,289,0.146,0.722,0.132,-0.2815,2,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,7,14,14,1,2,6,0,27,3,0,4,2,57,49,25,1,6,18,3,8,2,0,2,2,1,2,4,8,15,0,0,14,0,1,7,8,5,1,1,8,10,49,9,35,36,5,37,0,1,1,1,14,17,0,5,14,170,57,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126000331706043,0.0,0.07818645547263528,0.08135228677174262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479361192073798,0.11045201913160872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107979037493368,0.08319487927990825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968280383000727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780612114641154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457601572630223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18433728924065032,0.0,0.3954826958868613,0.13969349667870015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216134653606873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310660414655197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746342525455806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955307491576104,0.0,0.4316625222938569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852893968157532,0.0,0.0,0.1145067813618679,0.07803890335205775,0.2078276006646032,0.0,0.0,0.07540607946236072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131153931184742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435832120605156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349485549075426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19789646833302346,0.0779098541018263,0.0,0.10199520037531952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420957377114924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694426753749132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264692543437951,0.0960583096566942,0.0776182820759781,0.1140206866129365,0.11237197633166686,0.0,0.18684642381873048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533250887009881,0.0,0.0,0.057667147697307436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790677134620747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424657626084848,0.0,0.3558878110292222,0.0,0.0,0.06945284454343341,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fisheypixels,2018/01/15,"Is it normal to feel an impending doom once you start getting better? Last year was rough. I was kicked out of my parents August 2016, and lived at my best friend's parents house for 10 months. Where I felt like just a leech. 
I was chasing after a girl who didn't like me, then a girl who led me on for a month, and after the date returned to her cheating ex. Then I finally got an apartment with some friends, which led to unending new financial stress. 
Then more girl problems. 
I also spent about 3 months where I was Drunk way more nights then sober. 
Plus shit tons of other minor stuff.   Basically it was a very rough year, lots of anxiety, tons of depression, and many,many suicidal thoughts. 


Well about a week and a half ago, I started talking to a new girl, and things have started to look up. I don't know why or how, but they just are. I've not had any severe depressive episodes for about a month, and really no serious suicidal thoughts/reckless behavior besides passing ""calls of the void"". 

But now I just feel like I'm driving up a slight incline. I can't see over the hill, and it could be more road. But I just have this itching feeling there's a cliff. One I won't see until I'm already falling, and I'll just get worse than ever. 

I want to be happy, but I can't be happy without thinking something horrible is on the brink of happening. 

There's 7 billion people on the planet, and I'm certain I'm not the only one feeling this. But I guess I need some sort of reassurance I'm not the only one losing my shit because I'm suddenly kind of better. ",3.4491666666666667,4.811014269841273,4.400496031746034,86.89026785714287,72.96825396825399,7.40873015873016,28.045634920634928,7.9370924344782425,1.6829920634920632,1225,47,252,17,24,397,176,315,0.145,0.715,0.14,-0.4185,2,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,1,4,17,24,3,1,20,0,20,4,3,3,2,50,48,23,2,5,15,3,7,3,2,1,1,0,0,4,11,12,1,0,8,1,1,5,10,10,1,5,11,10,24,14,35,32,9,48,1,4,3,0,17,13,2,6,32,161,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777023062715637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926477687704422,0.07918172506929794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733314071647623,0.0,0.07574569252752993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060358217420115476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039094321338596,0.17514025966581245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011047028529064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905488677500197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056179714194825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956413145319694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025848406913813,0.07073585815546438,0.09506928569060016,0.10846536029601946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152996453689699,0.0,0.1034618030095951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919080597350496,0.0,0.10907544904129596,0.0,0.0875580462810656,0.21080519393615585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424924454817527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103108189445413,0.054415687103820734,0.08070989537979795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512020278453647,0.0,0.08743146867670594,0.0,0.08314710100210344,0.1107717099817318,0.0,0.08417844379325612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003849911531662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161291787729065,0.0,0.0,0.07341787214709987,0.0,0.1912573165791424,0.0,0.09291824262950163,0.0970130220653568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544703149158198,0.20128402045796825,0.1506097216138112,0.0,0.0,0.2198873949871807,0.0,0.0,0.0686440703445035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474334299811477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343111611900908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780320543726514,0.0,0.0,0.11185801120360092,0.20327357667132748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622606973508264,0.0,0.0,0.21024856022404254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342058211514965,0.0,0.1133477205126963,0.2166112158097469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958396900482728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578072214548779,0.06344438555496337,0.0,0.07860631914491066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169719304695076,0.0584012180485267,0.07859296754900409,0.0794233242183553,0.0,0.08902577509606131,0.0,0.08934503341881914,0.0,0.0,0.09544628216099382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090406275512327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752396625325954
mentalhealth,nero131,2018/01/15,"Getting things off my chest. This is just me getting things off my chest, sometimes the illusion people read things can be comforting. I have Anxiety, Depression, and Narcissistic personality disorder. Makes for a hell of a combo Huh? (Quick little lesson some people may think having NPD and depression is contradicting, well it sounds like it, but NPD is just putting a golden sheet of perfection over self hate.) So I'm horribly selfish, self centered,  almost zero sympathy for anyone, i can sleep and wake up reborn, no issues, fights, will be there after sleeping. I strive for perfection in everything I do, because anything less feels like failure. What a life right?  I've abused alcohol, pain killers, drugs, I've self harmed. And roughly have been clean of it all for 6 years. I'm working on calisthenics, working on getting my life together. Oh I'm 26.  For the better part of maybe 3 years I was single because I refused to hurt anymore people I cared about. It's almost like jackal and hide. There's ME a person that cares, then the flawless side of perfection where I can watch me from the back seat of my own head. Well I found someone, someone who didn't judge me for everything I am for once I wasn't a monster, it was pure happiness, bliss even, but it's going down hill and I'm slowly realising there is no happiness for people like me, almost like a demon loving an angel it could never last. No matter how much I try to work on the issues wrong with me, I hurt those I care about. Not suicidal so I don't want to give that idea. Life, even one where you live in the shadows is better then nothing. You may be asking where's my point? my point is there's no happiness for people like me and I'm slowly realising that fact. ",4.436188496188496,6.185399291291295,5.1737687687687695,80.78113825363828,71.1021021021021,8.126079926079925,27.522407022407023,8.730908602173464,2.1432329406329407,1376,49,253,25,26,445,179,333,0.184,0.574,0.241,0.9837,0,0,2,0,2,0,47.0,0,2,0,9,20,33,3,0,14,1,27,13,6,2,7,37,48,14,1,2,5,0,2,6,0,3,6,1,1,5,17,8,1,1,5,1,0,2,9,11,2,2,6,4,30,22,33,35,7,30,3,4,1,1,13,19,1,6,15,165,47,4,0.0,0.0970255507863772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751486664416329,0.24600122178888054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264516843436034,0.0,0.0812122825042759,0.05725897394343118,0.0,0.06738800046571078,0.0,0.07655553666891475,0.0,0.0,0.06296789545262227,0.0,0.0998380388510306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448490428998948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250475109126612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538202414321212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106244400024606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385234932525666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949657082245174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817435548589802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719382862388758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04140574218250509,0.05850180519357635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978750261273075,0.0,0.0,0.12835149814696767,0.07855577629863053,0.04653963433241957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615183736587152,0.0,0.08084883091847381,0.08404215160610358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532859716316587,0.09244316731288824,0.0,0.1709425204310469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675079231138323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352271929585145,0.2400421527167804,0.08207469398143591,0.07230984230192443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390838253440685,0.0,0.054661811756338205,0.0,0.0822689110524937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060198132829089174,0.0,0.06315815518978267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857508984546811,0.0,0.0,0.08720954061239296,0.055490378149893764,0.0,0.08713609742343252,0.0,0.0,0.08867824236645308,0.0,0.28385900275375897,0.14300533451372874,0.0,0.0,0.15482390788023806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232146707440491,0.0,0.0,0.08191156249467497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993310192271388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562855172890752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389708321261634,0.0,0.13876924924770506,0.0,0.08099071254342508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957371466530098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321104003532122,0.05247142229058957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055597528636867656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048300491015935344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725681394662166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788493799921418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895332059383533,0.0,0.10546818015360536
mentalhealth,potatoleash12,2018/01/15,Obsessive tendencies I have very odd and unusual things that I do very often such a tapping on things and walking back and forth.,11.176250000000005,8.69074079166667,9.995,66.15000000000003,57.75,14.6,44.83333333333333,13.023866798666859,5.8061333333333325,105,5,18,3,1,33,19,24,0.191,0.809,0.0,-0.5413,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341163521977165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5895242630524499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.732167053714248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChicagoFaucet,2018/01/15,"How does being admitted to the mental ward of a hospital work? I understand that there are voluntary and involuntary reasons someone would be admitted.  I'm talking specifically about voluntary.

I am asking for myself.  Personally, I'm a veteran, so I use the VA.  Where I live, the VA is better than most other hospitals, so I am fortunate.  I have been under their care for a decade, and as far as treating what ails me, it's not perfect, but I am convinced that it's far better than any of my other options.

But, if I get to the point where, like any responsible adult with mental health issues, I feel I need to commit myself, what is that process?

If I do it voluntarily, can I leave whenever I want to?  Like, can I go to work - because that's a stabilizer for me - but then check in on the weekends?  If I have to take a leave of absence from work, it is agreeable to that?",4.981728329809727,5.518723610465116,6.6302748414376325,75.37688160676535,68.7093023255814,9.975475687103597,31.91543340380549,10.018931242160765,3.1412604651162788,679,28,132,16,11,235,98,172,0.027000000000000003,0.7709999999999999,0.202,0.9812,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,6,7,8,0,0,10,0,16,1,0,3,2,24,30,14,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,13,3,0,0,5,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,21,8,23,26,1,11,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,5,4,100,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23315958824779065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026599211086068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450349539094868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032357498459863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478658243822975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002149852764712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668128575291148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956626385017401,0.0,0.0974288861825783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222444249171435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789307071890531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630439544998395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750625505576033,0.0,0.15137779865637613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455267303189736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711482531259674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968800958255465,0.0,0.0,0.1620588678400718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626088301975515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525397099197185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889570091890654,0.1377907316281618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846699587673198,0.0,0.14806240327206865,0.0,0.0,0.1011151700965579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744141125522496,0.0,0.0,0.12178053658143667,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StrangeYetUnchanged,2018/01/15,"I feel wrong Have any problem self-harm or suicide? GO AWAY. DO NOT READ THIS. IM SERIOUS. PLEASE DONT.   
  
Im a 16 yr old guy. If I was really happy, I would want to die. Just end it on a good note right? If I was sad, I would want to die. Get it over with. I was just in church today. It was a good message but my mind was messed up. I just thought of some weird shit. Like, death. Just lots of death. Dying. What it would be like. Normal but it just preoccupied my mind only with the cutting. It has been a month or so since the last time I wanted to dig my wrist out. Wasn’t like that this time but I just thought of it. Spilling blood. It hitting the floor. Usually might hit my mind at night. Thinking of what it would be like to use different blades and all. I got anxious and depressed last September and I cut for about three weeks. Not that bad but now, I’m trapped in my mind with an urge to cut nearly as powerful as being horny or something. Usually I can just roll a blade over my wrist. Feel some pain but thinking better of it knowing that I can’t have my wrist scarred. Hell (literally), I would commit suicide (say if I failed all my classes or something really bad happened) by cutting my wrist. A sweet release before the sweet release right? Just weird demonic shit. Wanted to see someone die almost. I don’t even get on the dark web because I’m afraid I might get hooked on something bad. I enjoy the sound of church bells but not the wedding bells. The horror ones. The judgement to come bells. I feel like I messed up my thoughts somewhere but can’t get rid of it. Please help. BTW. Something that doesn’t involve telling my parents or a doctor or something? Beginning to think that I would love some horror movies though...",0.6939668895256297,3.162321936962752,1.6352397325692465,97.15222285896212,88.94269340974212,4.477580388411334,20.64953836357848,6.079149491110277,0.023476739891754583,1352,45,292,12,45,420,171,349,0.238,0.594,0.168,-0.988,3,1,5,0,0,5,53.0,0,0,0,3,13,35,7,1,17,0,28,10,7,1,3,72,58,23,8,15,27,1,3,5,0,8,2,2,0,1,20,8,0,0,10,1,0,2,9,22,0,2,11,8,32,13,36,34,6,32,4,3,1,1,9,16,3,16,19,175,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551228706952813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512814300760512,0.0,0.0,0.08519190875318801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085023835250617,0.0,0.18889276301671493,0.04596927565250712,0.0,0.06416841104463028,0.0,0.0,0.06669407429970124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495909367667949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495057842772041,0.0,0.31305496674833605,0.07878746764128719,0.0,0.0771853968574262,0.0,0.0,0.08838003447713277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679093463791715,0.0,0.0,0.04980763667927567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438878394782713,0.05387296545609225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759458596828685,0.0,0.042857277727301725,0.12650076931974233,0.060312317767804824,0.0,0.0,0.0746678202376243,0.06668487137507614,0.0802754163661054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054577694893734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291162112045318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041443399543845016,0.12293853553608955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842077430848389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411094051696839,0.06806052780793419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599963238812672,0.3045706743588854,0.0,0.060191594375885726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076723752213697,0.07388585256195611,0.0,0.0,0.07913017780933093,0.0,0.05109981162671831,0.05735275248954993,0.08024162589407949,0.0,0.08373395292907314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555521215885105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215724778957587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543047196797792,0.0,0.09661923716286376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879956683912466,0.0,0.059969110373449916,0.0,0.0,0.060092058377930926,0.0,0.07866914404963303,0.0,0.15481469596484676,0.06237998497904981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389470330319262,0.2902717609409928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497274297674105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659117205849828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495917405314612,0.07409000591929134,0.17960150451347273,0.08794443058873262,0.0,0.07147992408944677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513008396823353,0.16610706534091355,0.0,0.17791524042061493,0.0,0.06048940542460829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321414879049519,0.08244906793439813,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dumbfatchick,2018/01/15,"How do I know if I’m just being an attention seeker? Ok so like my emotions and my everything basically are all over the place. One day I’ll be “depressed” and be making a whole plan of all the things I need to buy so I can cut safely and be able to hide them and then the next day I’m like “wtf you idiot nothing is wrong with you.” Like it feels like there are pieces of me fractured and only certain parts can come out at a time (that might be because of “childhood abonamento issues”, if I actually have those). I don’t know how to explain what I feel (and what I dont) and I just really want to know if there is actually something wrong with me or if I’m just being an attention whore...",2.5716677115987463,3.6898170758620696,4.280564263322887,87.85131661442009,74.79310344827586,7.479623824451412,24.21630094043887,8.00094639256281,1.1215517241379311,536,16,120,8,11,181,85,145,0.093,0.735,0.172,0.8809,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,9,13,2,0,7,1,17,1,0,3,3,37,30,17,0,6,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,8,0,1,1,2,6,0,1,0,2,15,7,12,23,5,11,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,6,10,85,21,0,0.1653642376601998,0.0,0.322743283756589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080450442229526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244664839399093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132925060975471,0.0,0.14242797558613898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193805654969176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601250994982974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861871406138985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722625440079608,0.11813624442578376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725973011395134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726395811088637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231544546019653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038191271253292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17542532386368545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261548690239099,0.0,0.0,0.17586674276799644,0.0,0.0,0.1586714459331144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205508709865968,0.12576695433851867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907335475867497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277043237104875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593656503843024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730546911651364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986065162034923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964252168036352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753611181164797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184623265850232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615996691370042,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VictoriaLuna1885,2018/01/15,"Anxiety help when depression sucks Hey yall so I have been having extreme anxiety, way out of normal proportions for the past couple days. Applying some basic coping mechanisms has helped a large amount but as of right now it is horrific, I haven't been this bad since before I started my antidepressants and I want to apply coping mechanisms but my depression is kicking in removing any motivation or energy from being able too. It's exhausting to even stay awake but attempting to sleep is making my anxiety worse. I don't want to take any of the anti anxiety meds that I have because sometimes they make me more hyper and anxious. any tips?",5.1806722689075615,7.505157529411767,6.205621848739495,71.76658403361347,70.34453781512605,10.474285714285717,30.387394957983194,10.577609850970193,3.968545546218486,522,22,84,17,10,173,87,119,0.29,0.636,0.07400000000000001,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,2,5,5,1,0,3,0,12,2,1,3,0,14,19,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,12,0,12,16,3,11,0,2,0,0,5,3,1,2,5,56,16,1,0.16226704222795882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33104145926696393,0.0,0.4965353726398508,0.18331557024033385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548620236146372,0.09891648283392984,0.0,0.1380773014036071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954539585676668,0.0,0.10464881821956334,0.0,0.2795207313974295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717585101464358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175283559259008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166290214227908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18024210342913125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898724882815074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490225270512972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857516745062112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422897415231413,0.0,0.1623842295452359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604862539209774,0.0,0.11485344767283208,0.17295507669803628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220046213728529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914186114002912,0.12880002521144365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536397889153956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pepeisntfunny,2018/01/15,Is there a name for this? My mom has this weird thing where she thinks everything is broken and has even broken things to replace them or have them fixed. Its costing us a lot of money and I cant confront her on it or I'll get in trouble. What do I do?,-0.06193939393939374,1.9251435636363683,1.7159090909090935,99.08719696969698,86.0909090909091,4.393939393939394,18.25757575757576,5.46131890053228,-0.6057878787878788,196,5,47,1,6,64,44,55,0.197,0.777,0.027000000000000003,-0.863,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,2,0,3,3,1,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,7,10,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,5,10,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,0,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24556512582224224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341426984604923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424598772575874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31608428394239124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.435438325767969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4940042015420498,0.23822931708690215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472200281002801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatgirltag,2018/01/15,"do you believe in mental illness? Are they really an 'illness'. What do you think about the label disorder.

I'm arguing with trolls online who say that mental illness is not real as there is no concrete testing as there is for physical illnesses.",4.814333333333334,7.309896599999997,6.104166666666668,71.33625000000005,71.8888888888889,8.944444444444445,33.47222222222222,9.516144504307137,3.930888888888889,197,10,29,5,4,66,36,45,0.303,0.6970000000000001,0.0,-0.9382,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,6,4,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,6,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,24,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675894870810147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739285245090835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6575977626150128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713615628329593,0.20901403111795205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25945941760198105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905775568830745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AgnostoDarkness,2018/01/15,"should I get help? Ever since 3rd grade ive had suicidal thoughts along with anxiety, id always feel down and empty. The anxiety somewhat went away but these thoughts and feelings plagued me to this day. They are getting worse and worse and I'm worried that one day, im going to end it all. 

Im in high school now and its getting worse, i left all sports, my grades are starting to slip, and my friends are starting to leave me. Im tired of it all, tired of life, tired of myself. I know there is this whole Stigma about teens with depression arent actually depressed. ""Youre to young to be feeling this"" or ""Youre 16, once you're an adult everything will be better"" Honestly I dont see it getting better and ive had it since 3rd grade so about 7 years. 

So all that said, should I get help? I haven't talked to anyone about this and im worried that Id just be put aside and wont be taken seriously.",2.53509803921569,3.961794417112305,3.532962566844919,91.93748306595371,75.41711229946523,6.697896613190732,24.766131907308374,7.3011,0.8695870944741529,704,23,158,8,15,226,105,187,0.203,0.664,0.133,-0.9304,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,2,9,7,0,0,2,0,19,4,0,0,5,29,38,13,1,2,3,0,3,0,1,4,4,1,0,1,13,12,0,0,6,1,0,3,4,3,0,1,7,5,16,4,19,23,6,17,0,2,1,0,9,5,0,2,9,91,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.1007673302867415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592098909095865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798796490985145,0.0,0.0,0.07220212661434178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701661749732413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826510014964079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318893059183334,0.0,0.17787619548154165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102051028548175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145813350430844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340501344063976,0.0,0.0,0.09280385867245253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663479977351186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977878856964263,0.0,0.2697466872035164,0.0,0.05868530885611544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384266425177568,0.10910036360136796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461561400393772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056749257798252226,0.0,0.0,0.10933793576498006,0.11219281066114624,0.0,0.0729359288521985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996903820692623,0.06997197178235443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380530036491213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822436026992898,0.0,0.0,0.10450511578420084,0.08228523118401583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083626768031127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617659454342402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295020225075013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299686017096987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395456924821264,0.0,0.35604818508468555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572349692718113,0.0,0.11528663519813614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20973205404724876,0.31569374430150954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649636181708447
mentalhealth,That_guy_you_know987,2018/01/15,"Why do police disclose “criminal matters” to psychiatrists when taking a person to hospital? Awhile ago I was apprehended by police for suicidal thoughts and taken to hospital for observation. I didn’t have any criminal convictions or outstanding warrants on file but I had a Police record from 2008  for “assault” that was actually a matter of self-defence where I was never officially charged or convicted. I managed to overhear a psychiatric nurse talk to the psychiatrist about the incident in the most vague way possible. Something to the affect of “it looks like there was a violent incident in 2008 involving a weapon”, and that was that. Now, without knowing the details, it would be easy to get the wrong impression and wrongly assume I’m a violent/aggressive person. 
I’m actually extremely irritated that the policeman passed on non-conviction information to a psychiatrist and slandered my name like that. 

I also find it extremely alarming that people can say anything behind your back to a psychiatrist and there’s no way of being informed of the accusations against you while in their custody and therefore no way of contesting it. Not just criminal matters but behavioural accusations that may not be true either.        

Edit: Why the down vote? It’s a legitimate question and concern. ",8.947246283128635,10.393860638009052,9.147424046541694,57.596210407239816,60.26696832579186,13.011118293471235,43.840012928248214,12.416235457179464,6.497131609566907,1055,62,145,37,14,348,133,221,0.215,0.701,0.083,-0.9885,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,1,0,9,10,3,1,19,0,15,0,0,2,2,34,23,14,1,1,9,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,2,12,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,9,2,10,4,29,9,2,17,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,6,8,112,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.32007831989453506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537503041305802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114977148694007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152479957635927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495702889538755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610494490640548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989192111426933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568259791296508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012944492842427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024304780489512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771767774298727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648597548556104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369611020391596,0.2863948318511708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488399216331486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837161754100644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041841862157694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108650265735034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625427923368032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938805595668772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330667865100432,0.13181601360506154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019671880427144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905238131214577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959667955229874,0.0,0.0,0.15808897929082882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650003361742438,0.35861385936409634,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cerebraljelly,2018/01/15,"Can psychosis be a permanent state or condition? I'll spare you the details of my mental health history and keep it simple and direct. I'm bipolar 1, I've had dozens of episodes in my life, many resulting in hospitalization. During my last two stays, I was experiencing psychosis. My mother told me today (rather put of the blue) that ""they"" (the doctors treating me) said I may not come out of it, and to look in to long term assisted living arrangements for me.
Due to the often strained dynamic between my mother and I, and just who she is as a person, I am skeptical of this. I feel like she just said this to spook me in to being med compliant, and that doesnt actually happen to people.

I have every intention of asking my psychiatrist about the validity of her comment at our next appointment. 
I realize this is a broad question, and should be looked at on a case by case bases, but I'm curious-

Tl;dr Can a person experience lifelong psychosis? Or in my case specifically from a manic episode?
",7.703263157894738,7.151665431578947,8.464210526315789,68.21947368421054,63.105263157894754,11.810526315789476,36.89473684210526,11.20814326018867,4.232905263157896,792,34,141,20,10,268,122,190,0.02,0.941,0.039,0.5484,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,1,0,5,5,1,1,11,0,14,4,0,2,0,25,26,11,0,2,7,2,1,1,0,2,4,2,0,2,8,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,5,7,24,3,28,16,1,20,0,0,3,0,17,10,0,5,7,102,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.17180787488033056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459109959668322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165896349282335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020351919383265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833703122291414,0.0,0.0,0.1722191720221799,0.0,0.0,0.08902055856402231,0.1257763561484048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568810925431711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714214393255135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648904416460396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435113224141433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435545233620204,0.08601337796567306,0.0,0.1554630399576195,0.15580639152945314,0.2956898993255535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784958679865783,0.0,0.0,0.1955615038578233,0.0,0.1774257399658045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724040348974946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220569208356944,0.30745529689903484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698760110305858,0.19722601448761304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349442433660844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765512749473676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668830426099832,0.16823161353984306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198374800345415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thnsjf,2018/01/15,"Advice needed Hey!

I’ve had long periods of ups and downs. A down started a couple of years ago when I was bullied by a couple of my ”friends” in class in middle school. I then started high school in a fantastic class and soon after that turned myself around. I was talking, joking and laughing, I was who I wanted to be - myself. Half a year after beginning high school I started cutting myself. Im not entirely sure why, but I think there was a mixture of reasons for it. A year later Im much better and have started to do all the things I want (except exercising, will start that when it gets warmer). Ive almost finished one of my half done projects, played the piano and my results in school got better, but Im still not myself. The funny talkative and energetic guy I am at home is nowhere to be found at school. It feels like Im back where I were in middle school. 

I just want to do what Im doing now while being like I was when I started high school. I mentioned this with my counselor but I dont think she quite got it. She said that were all different at home and in school/at work. 
But I just feel too different to what I find normal. At home Im the familys clown. I jump around, sing, drum with my fingers and Im almost never still or quiet. At school its the complete opposite.

How can I become like Im at home/were before in school and is this some kind of anxiety thing or something else? ",1.726653346653347,3.8351150769230777,3.1642007992008025,90.56959790209793,80.04895104895104,5.6241758241758255,21.752747252747245,6.7097532225279775,0.4781782217782213,1096,33,227,11,28,358,143,286,0.04,0.831,0.129,0.9736,2,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,0,4,16,12,1,0,12,0,23,2,1,3,4,45,44,21,0,5,11,0,3,3,1,1,1,2,3,1,15,13,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,1,0,3,13,5,31,11,36,27,4,53,0,0,0,0,9,24,0,5,31,157,46,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773297968739219,0.05237147892849768,0.0,0.1183215807338164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519657646772346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051887039058944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045429414158540085,0.0,0.0,0.06524999528237828,0.05027332718043034,0.0,0.0,0.10450416220943312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194499356399955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074334938314938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345352094484985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046007206426057,0.06924214449374964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935434670529245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569602921334424,0.0,0.05974595773384461,0.04220726638642221,0.0,0.0,0.05399869266326823,0.0,0.0,0.0647789419216627,0.04564560496931065,0.0,0.030867229113471777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945044714304069,0.0,0.0,0.05849918512155164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726602101543446,0.2370510510328749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.510538384650758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061523461113308725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659154234782365,0.0,0.0,0.05228456343759512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04343111498654372,0.043807593037556866,0.0455666807502695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057886545410463175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04003461371330533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628396005614871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074480307691274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619927837498515,0.0,0.0,0.5979282611183765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548321197754624,0.0,0.0,0.2509057561508462,0.0,0.0943638522680594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568286385884735,0.0,0.0,0.047486831537308885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850118836711521,0.07571305845914457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642628399586464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454198896045808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053311145494607706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043011455796943814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413810805422413
mentalhealth,geonini,2018/01/15,"I don't love myself, how to become selfish? Hi. 
I (F,30) am normal looking girl by today's standarts, have very nice bf, normal family, I am pretty good (workaholic) CG artist and have a lot of ideas, but something is missing in my life.

I left my job 2 month ago and have a lot of free time to think about my life and personal stuff, but I found out that I just don't want to do anything at all. 0 ambitions, 0 motivation, 0 goal. I am becoming more introverted and existential crisis attacks. I realised all my life I was living as others wanted me to live. Now I can't make decisions, I contact with people normally, but hide all that toxic stuff inside me, I react at their stories as normal people do,  but its fake, I don't find much sense in anything at all. 

I like science , but its already late for me to try it. It feels like all this years I ve been living someone else's life and that makes me hate myself more. By blaming my surroundings and family, I am not sure that I love anyone anymore. It hurts so much that Sometimes want to end it asap. I feel lost and lonely.  I wish I could gift my life to someone who really deserves and would appreciate it.I am really trying to find anything to live for.

 How to figure out what's wrong? What to do?",3.3790805075930948,4.63673119762846,4.947821926357396,83.30603494903269,72.99209486166008,7.539754524651551,25.56875390056168,8.032893268588372,1.4910047430830042,975,31,195,14,19,329,139,253,0.204,0.685,0.111,-0.9801,1,2,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,3,6,17,2,0,2,0,20,7,0,6,6,51,36,18,0,10,7,0,2,2,1,1,5,0,0,2,18,11,0,0,10,1,1,0,5,9,0,0,4,3,33,9,28,30,11,17,0,4,1,2,9,9,0,2,10,131,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244708336496362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263801409277076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224017818358683,0.06503422630528047,0.0,0.2296160498899482,0.0,0.0,0.10581144283382786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544280630129025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426031347728633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776972890681606,0.0,0.08237858399306891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536167614893694,0.0,0.09405653723713132,0.06644582283268362,0.0,0.0,0.17001752888001695,0.0,0.0,0.101979835860684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801174146676981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182737314964723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956831986687023,0.10499611588120293,0.0,0.0,0.09229732357349288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491847895841376,0.0,0.10105481625679932,0.0,0.3284758998925058,0.0908792375381635,0.0,0.3285154674974391,0.0,0.07810434037704855,0.0,0.10153057738017422,0.15814626721074498,0.16788894891300332,0.0,0.12416878582317525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742390915750968,0.0,0.13674499293089218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645172473881952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896179831735888,0.08121208473641456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462383905180284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916820728914758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761286202412736,0.07160306041268863,0.0919885210199314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21294666530014653,0.0,0.0,0.08766011219271105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959656830696002,0.0,0.0,0.05423443841032655,0.0,0.0881618884709817,0.0,0.0,0.12629434341441478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674236740288834,0.1645777865225019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695604099301388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607109870509162,0.1016910079908992,0.0,0.05989490401008609
mentalhealth,bipolargoat,2018/01/15,"Can I work in mental health when I have bipolar? Hi everyone, I've been a longtime lurker and occasional poster on this subreddit. I've just started a new YouTube channel based around bipolar and this is my first video! I've been battling this illness for years but I want to shed some positivity and optimism. I'm going to be posting on the regular. :) Hope you are all keeping well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5IrVnBzv2Q x",4.716666666666669,8.088027066666669,4.337333333333337,78.8086666666667,78.33333333333334,7.066666666666667,31.0,8.167268648758528,2.8226000000000004,350,17,56,7,9,106,58,75,0.043,0.695,0.261,0.9647,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,4,3,1,0,3,0,7,4,0,0,1,11,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,5,2,7,10,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668840733626937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864701505223641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550083051283553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038229898069582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186716040664918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29776738568145056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26647452933284643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021262018776764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895470938931293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871239268563289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219880001434333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768288216965812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26955470171496704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21825675377875936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930602943238385
mentalhealth,Rouginas,2018/01/15,"A little confused about my depression and how to get back to working. I recently asked my current psychologist , ""Will I always have depression?"" He said, ""No, once you remove negative thoughts, people, and situations from your life, you will no longer have depression.""  Part of me hopes and wonders if this is true. I have suffered with depression for 8 years. At this point in time we have relocated to an area that is sunnier than where we were and I have stopped working. I am also taking my medications regularly and for the past year have had very few, short mood swings lasting no more than a day, no panic attacks, and no suicidal tendencies. With many health issues there would be talk of reducing or removing medications with such improvements.  No such talk has occurred with my depression.  If depression is mostly a situational thing as my psychologist suggests, then it should be with some work be simple to remove it from your life and no longer be in need of medication and such.  To be honest the above doesn't seem right. I feel there is something missing to this idea.
Part of why I feel this is because I have been considering going back to work. I don't collect SSI or any type of disability as I have been turned down multiple times and even disability lawyers won't take my case. I am not disabled enough, what ever that means. I am however disabled enough to get job counseling from vocational rehabilitation for free. I am not mad about this or feel that I am necessarily entitled to Social Security. I was just looking for help while I got my head on straight and figured out how to handle what was going on in my life.
Anyhow with working with my job councilor we have settled on a job goal, and I am steadily working towards said goal. However, when considering going back to work I don't feel depressed I feel scared, so scared that I am reduced to tears and near panic.  Is this a part of the depression even though I have not shown any real signs of it for the past year? Is this some form of mild, I don't know, PTSD due to chronic stress from when I was working? I am honestly afraid that my depression and panic attacks will come back if I start to work again. I've only really stopped working for a year, and even then I have been caring for my young son, volunteering, and doing small temp jobs just to get out of the house. For some reason the idea of working full time scares me, or even working a regular part time job.",6.619442733990147,7.086321122844829,6.8181157635468,75.69560344827589,65.14224137931035,10.163054187192119,33.381773399014776,10.041961382958581,3.2205919950738915,1947,78,364,41,28,627,214,464,0.16699999999999998,0.757,0.076,-0.992,8,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,3,4,0,14,27,32,3,9,14,0,51,9,1,3,2,72,81,34,1,7,12,1,5,0,0,6,8,2,0,0,18,28,0,3,14,0,1,7,16,23,0,0,12,8,46,9,62,58,14,58,0,11,1,0,17,21,0,16,30,266,64,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04402540397412871,0.04580802733279885,0.0,0.0,0.07487507296147883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146658536637809,0.12526016096504636,0.0,0.1693276649953629,0.0,0.033559446990492764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056129615818507936,0.0,0.0,0.047422789022652005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03550425942209598,0.0,0.4267491528910445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137677418760862,0.0,0.1454464286533705,0.04979806976127458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918079981009618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628785877175768,0.0,0.09386268456251606,0.0,0.04403045299870874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564996701507799,0.05851815286460218,0.0,0.0,0.036900479679814566,0.0,0.0,0.05467947934816413,0.0,0.06352310638054952,0.0,0.1242949724883584,0.0,0.05746042809781941,0.27315518288544177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03025537275398912,0.04487507370792337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665546653103492,0.0,0.05517699212903722,0.0,0.0,0.04623017126352867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581451761236128,0.0,0.05996822944001942,0.0,0.16637857759222935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082067519201198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862903536424215,0.0,0.041869849581302465,0.0,0.1937764752917841,0.0,0.2384656436088503,0.10510753697325304,0.03816641939412687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204233565846079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435333817652364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266171157828318,0.03526799282568348,0.056603061343259625,0.05435762760911856,0.0,0.0,0.047014469712449034,0.1047349251351917,0.0,0.1653512426604076,0.0,0.0,0.050117659630514726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376246346407728,0.0,0.05611901385145632,0.0,0.04238204598990652,0.0,0.0,0.038966389406737176,0.0,0.0,0.092052583914737,0.06306236624966441,0.0,0.0,0.06021841702113245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278514371424768,0.08849810691130285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03657438460238754,0.0,0.05408872754422325,0.043705475628944425,0.12840604575811618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059881229142610085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542401575990666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967625024465027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059702005979347335,0.4809458483922791,0.0,0.0,0.03910766282591218,0.0,0.0,0.14180782562565825
mentalhealth,DontStigmatizeMe,2018/01/15,"More Than My Mental Illness - Want Stories I have had a few instances in which I have gone to/contacted a doctor about some sort of issue and have not been treated or listened to the same as someone without anxiety/depression meds. 

Example: I had what I thought was an allergic reaction to an antibiotic, when I called the doctors office, instead of thinking it could actually be a reaction, I was asked (again) about my medications and told I was fine, it's just anxiety. It wasn't, I know anxiety and how my body responds (and my mind for that matter), but was not taken seriously. I ended up at urgent care and was told never to take that antibiotic again. This is just one of several instances with different doctors.

My question to you is if you have had a similar experience? I am trying to collect stories of those who have experienced this and bring an awareness.

If you are a medical professional, have you ever done this? What do you learn in school/training? I don't think this happens out of malice, which is why I think an awareness would help.",8.404242424242426,7.590318919191918,8.818868686868688,67.10163636363636,61.82828282828282,12.162424242424246,41.01212121212122,11.407655852321104,4.844347878787879,838,42,145,21,10,280,117,198,0.033,0.887,0.08,0.8679,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,5,0,0,10,4,0,0,11,0,27,8,1,1,2,35,43,13,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,15,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,16,2,22,3,22,24,4,13,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,6,6,123,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.1381895963115111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666042983220868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238495398174155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572952653713228,0.0,0.0,0.14459824477944322,0.0,0.14437943675976447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306296884659997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196730615505788,0.0,0.0,0.14795087926245984,0.0,0.4348273021010455,0.0,0.1449147947133087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254232151670649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280931137512889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852041342938667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522404449354846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949172802030838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780261941508946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782440006897932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572952653713228,0.2853115949736711,0.14270819308034322,0.0,0.14298434896435144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921730592172983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095957673049479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863407508622718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331549443268907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997744544179754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199845332884836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647206690481284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722112780165571,0.0,0.11242143496987772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706262303529206,0.0,0.09614296483769423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352443936346278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777976342918027,0.0,0.0,0.13650566671742562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059470832747408,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heyitsmeurgf,2018/01/16,"Slowly building the guts to leave that friend group you’ve known for 11 years that has slowly turned into a cult against you by harassing you (“roasting”) and that it’s all in good fun. See when I was younger I made friends like many other people. So as the years went on I started struggling in school partly because of my ADHD and the fact that my parents were going through a divorce so I never really had that solid help that I needed when going though school at a young age as I did not know any better and just slacked off. Slowly but surely I turned into that kid who was known for being  kinda funny because of the fact that I was always hyper and dysfunctional. Back then I didn’t mind because I liked making people laugh. But then as time went on I made people laugh because I was the one always getting shit on or so called “roasting”. I did like some people in that group but since I’ve broken off from them I don’t really have the chance to reach out or hang out with those ones in particular. Either way this has severely affected my life and will forever because now I have very strong social anxiety and can sometimes seem off, even with the meds I’m taking now. It would have been nice to avoid the whole anxiety part as a whole.

And just to add, before I broke off with them as friends I did try to reach out and let them know that they were kinda going to far by talking to a couple individually but that just ended up stabbing me in the back my “roasting” me with everyone around because now I’m just being a pussy... supposedly.

Guess that’s what you get for trying to do something right and to help others. ",7.501754658385093,6.284945409937893,7.320240683229816,78.42489518633542,63.84472049689441,9.664906832298136,31.30512422360249,8.278499904357787,2.1620428571428567,1290,36,252,13,16,411,167,322,0.095,0.738,0.16699999999999998,0.9763,1,1,1,0,1,0,18.0,0,3,4,2,17,19,2,2,15,0,25,3,2,4,5,54,47,28,0,2,12,1,0,3,3,2,1,0,0,1,20,20,0,1,5,0,0,6,4,5,0,2,16,1,30,14,48,26,7,46,0,1,1,0,21,22,1,7,20,182,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484996409492206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903464746034499,0.0,0.0,0.06498714049333436,0.0,0.14621316961224035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507267036291828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696641110617978,0.0,0.3495314117538354,0.0,0.08131835515521033,0.0,0.0,0.08451903876627058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758204442750533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574030719275024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846417864431301,0.0,0.0,0.0631194543076652,0.0,0.0,0.09131597992018403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22149869867457594,0.0,0.09985701923797197,0.0,0.16293453154653947,0.0801549728245216,0.0,0.0,0.10527507637090952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810974666868233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050395055162485,0.0,0.0,0.10118901244268397,0.0,0.09772118112621404,0.06750003610830628,0.14006397008111218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808508906984304,0.06379004920400325,0.09688740869764004,0.0,0.0,0.10615062165597446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649290774144204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085986961510819,0.07370523767396256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951396372697166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611307358226743,0.20697409259306684,0.0,0.2650095804855861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244213803222627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161156517321658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343276215021848,0.07615253776169573,0.08699833626288447,0.0,0.10796068937290186,0.09809559115433956,0.07905194612930261,0.0,0.0,0.09741597819579442,0.0,0.07357022486129712,0.09451573909116373,0.0,0.06764104855554293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999047699765553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006841506793252,0.0,0.07185261466237952,0.07681112925523048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389164102265457,0.0,0.05572443141504088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297640518457763,0.20789347895294474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885072500641703,0.0,0.0758546559620885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717850723726833,0.0,0.2133887142082994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788628252131478,0.0,0.0,0.1230808161179373
mentalhealth,DIRECTInterventions,2018/01/16,"Research Participants Needed! Research participants needed! Researchers at Penn State and Augustana College are looking for participants to complete a survey on their private prayer behaviors and beliefs. The survey takes approximately 40 minutes and is online here: https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bx9DC3wCYUK0J0h. The Principal Investigator is Stephanie Winkeljohn Black, she can be reached at smw78@psu.edu.
Measuring prayer across different religious groups

PRINCIPAL INVESTIGATOR:
Stephanie Winkeljohn Black, Ph.D., Researcher; 
Assistant Professor of Psychology,
Penn State Harrisburg
Olmsted Building, W311
777 West Harrisburg Pike
Middletown, PA 17057-4898
717-948-6037
smw78@psu.edu

1. Purpose of the Study:
This study is FOR INDIVIDUALS 18 OR OLDER WHO HAVE PRAYED AT LEAST ONCE IN THE PAST YEAR and is being conducted for research. It investigates your experiences with and behaviors around private prayer.

2. Procedures to be Followed:
In this study, you will be asked to complete an electronic questionnaire. You may skip any questions that make you uncomfortable.
Please complete this questionnaire independently and privately. Your responses to all questions will be confidential. There is no way to trace individual responses back to you. The lab computer's IP address and time stamp on your survey will not be recorded. Therefore, your confidentiality will be maintained and your sign up for the study will not be connected to your survey results.
Procedure for discontinuation or non-participation: If you do not wish to participate, you do not have to.


3. Duration/Time:
The entire questionnaire should take less than 45 minutes to complete.

4. Statement of Confidentiality:
Your participation in this research is confidential. These data will be stored in a password protected file. In the event of a publication or presentation resulting from the research, no personally identifiable information will be shared.

5. Right to Ask Questions:
If you have any questions or concerns regarding this study please contact: Dr. Stephanie Winkeljohn Black, School of Behavioral Science and Education, Penn State Harrisburg,
smw78@psu.edu, 717-948-6037.

6. Payment for Participation:
Not applicable.

7. Voluntary Participation:
Your decision to be in this research is voluntary. You can stop at any time. You do not have to answer any questions you do not want to answer. Refusal to take part in or withdrawing from this study will involve no penalty or loss of benefits you would receive otherwise.

***You should print this Informed Consent Form to keep for your records.***

Completion and submission of the survey implies your consent to participate in this research.",8.477347461097464,12.752807985257993,7.141936425061427,58.96083256552009,69.88452088452088,10.762674037674039,40.42019860769861,10.270032843473604,6.0738714578214585,2218,130,271,75,48,670,207,407,0.05,0.908,0.042,-0.4703,2,0,0,0,0,0,90.0,0,22,1,1,4,3,0,0,14,0,41,1,0,5,1,57,54,18,0,9,15,1,0,0,0,12,1,0,1,1,13,12,0,4,12,0,1,2,10,1,0,0,0,4,24,2,52,31,5,34,2,1,4,0,43,19,0,14,9,180,37,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27443496908107684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981359805747563,0.18863728882103534,0.0,0.0,0.07757827583600588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5289068642396506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540870356992367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868989809556562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967577558489384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472229220962886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734493950682671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961749339398886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744468666973417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925416988301752,0.09631103689969993,0.0,0.08809336255547616,0.0,0.2214941132815809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5651001291851033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615961248236187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210618919562887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434865911072607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757044624798334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765968233373715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059507607616775,0.0800818823754319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160186606128481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166944761432134,0.0,0.0,0.06496993041504949
mentalhealth,throwawayxxxaaaa5,2018/01/16,"Mentally and emotionally abused afraid of calling police Ok, I will keep this short and summarized. 

I have a friend who has a few mental problems Borderline/bi/depression. 

she is an immigrant with a marriage visa to the US. its been more than 2 yrs, she can get a permanent green card without him.


My friend's SO has mentally/emotionally abused her. for about 2 years. 
some of the things:

- controlling who she can talk to, putting software on pc/phone
- threatening to deport her, institutionalize her, 
- saying she cant leave house, not driving her to work/letting her work (not going thru with some of this)
- saying she cant talk to some friends.
- derogatory terms for friend
- THREATENING TO SUICIDE should she leave
- causing her to attempt suicide 3 times. SHE WAS SENT TO THE HOSPITAL.

she wants to leave him and wants to start divorce process. he said he will start it, but he keeps holding on and causing trouble for her. controlling, etc. she is living with him, and has to until late spring due to some other things. 

She is AFRAID to call the cops because she is afraid of being taken to an institution. she is a danger to herself (tried suicide) and has mental illnesses (Above). IS THIS TRUE?



",4.678637346791637,7.031071461187217,4.638596491228071,82.33578947368423,71.8310502283105,7.898197548666188,29.334534967555875,8.6894789155246,2.4139808219178085,946,39,170,18,19,292,121,219,0.128,0.802,0.07,-0.9465,0,0,0,0,3,3,44.0,1,0,0,4,2,12,1,3,11,1,21,1,0,4,1,29,32,9,3,4,4,0,0,0,4,3,1,3,0,0,10,9,0,5,0,0,1,4,5,6,0,0,5,4,27,6,32,23,8,16,0,0,1,0,43,3,0,4,9,118,37,1,0.0,0.2457100867708677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320812659731967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117570442158584,0.0,0.0,0.21303525641774834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325930711955652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930757175427859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332733511260351,0.0,0.0,0.1156411463451648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32044084888883884,0.0,0.05417345824760877,0.0,0.05892910422781555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119643704233096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432789564475294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169662165274825,0.32937646942675763,0.0,0.10602948828328126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155968444596664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134837341716022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921680053596686,0.0,0.10423653694320048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863241204453456,0.1649160256109855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467838534621416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402582880141232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666833052063539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777332700516148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060462152418956285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039833051650453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472564197305255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223174487793508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995293008877017,0.0,0.15097430975867282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677260651208385
mentalhealth,trashaccount13831813,2018/01/16,"I frequently fantasize about brutally assaulting people and killing people The title says it all. I don't really know what to do. It was always this way for me. Growing up I never had a thought like it, they started about a year ago. I would never act on them, but I fantasize about it a lot. I have a couple theories as to why I'm like this. The first is because I started noticing these thoughts while at work. I work retail and people constantly piss me off. It's hard to be in a good mood when people are in your face yelling as loud as they can to bitch about stuff that's not even your fault. I started noticing these thoughts to asshole customers. I feel that dealing with this many people causes me to have these thoughts. The other possibility I think is because part of me truly wants revenge on everybody. I was bullied growing up, as an adult not much has changed. When I went to school all the kids would make fun of me til the point I used to cry and the school staff never cared to help me, they wouldn't tell them to stop. I used to get beat up regularly. As an adult it seems everyone still hates me for existing. I hate almost everyone and I feel the desire to make everyone suffer just as bad as I do. I want people ot understand how shitty it is to live when you'd rather be dead. When I think about doing stuff I normally think about very brutal assault. I always think about torturing the person as much as possible, making them scream for mercy and giving them a slow death. I think about how nice it would be for people crying for me to stop when I'm torturing them, and not stopping like they did to me. This ill will isn't directed at anybody in particular, it's directed at pretty much anyone. I want to go to a therapist, but I'm not letting them lock me up as a potential killer. I don't know what to do, but I don't like being filled with so much anger and hate. I'd rather focus and feel other things.",4.214140721698563,5.166179323907453,5.044313053413311,84.55852518328098,70.67095115681235,8.333657050366561,27.003808435685038,8.626192665926032,1.788520060934971,1523,49,312,25,27,495,178,389,0.292,0.621,0.086,-0.9988,0,0,0,0,1,1,34.0,0,3,10,4,21,26,13,0,18,0,31,3,2,8,5,63,69,31,3,11,10,0,4,4,0,5,1,4,0,4,25,10,0,3,16,0,1,6,12,17,0,1,9,8,49,8,59,49,8,44,0,1,0,0,22,14,2,3,27,222,74,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760272326956353,0.0,0.07636657626268567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691417954479328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533250010131269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367658453210152,0.09297867489102238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775541269237117,0.07834331166378596,0.0806763509875409,0.0,0.0,0.08241342367559089,0.0,0.0,0.08438377766410014,0.1675430831762497,0.0,0.0786240080840291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05037112280058258,0.0,0.0,0.2186182606615092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568289257222998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486943697245483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0398443731311314,0.0731586083755175,0.043342132717548214,0.06396595191620699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831684548677705,0.2258823566187393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051117613833807085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843739288805287,0.0,0.08382451796052509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798428659939688,0.0,0.14903338469950508,0.0,0.06734180074233624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483624345470597,0.0,0.0,0.1527188298990021,0.07731891244735292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424890095103006,0.0,0.1764566385424423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472174149898159,0.0,0.17365231201513168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258561127387985,0.0,0.370099091788428,0.06659008259003192,0.0,0.0,0.07209337223477348,0.17195059321639952,0.0,0.07758708913699566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048856157253233466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064755576165725,0.0,0.15436485506404796,0.0,0.06942715090634041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193845148963806,0.0,0.0609038881662778,0.19127834425679585,0.0,0.0,0.1746062310262359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665739619332882,0.0,0.0,0.0885474504713425,0.05066587980797168,0.24433188844513806,0.0,0.24217784104799744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939267833254368,0.0,0.13173383345615328,0.0,0.0629251249995497,0.13494602967757638,0.06053417654465204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069674828120735,0.06881567390861511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104103237686687,0.0,0.0,0.16252556256372416,0.0,0.0,0.04911099890734996
mentalhealth,OffSedation,2018/01/16,"I have violent thoughts and impulsively commit some harmless crimes, will seeking help get me in trouble? I have a lot of violent feelings and urges. I feel like most people need punished and I resent them and want to hurt them, but I'm not stupid and know on some level it's irrational, maybe some kind of developmental reaction in response to all my experiences with people being negative. I try not to act on it since I don't want to go to prison, but I also have a lot of moodswings and a bad temper, so I have e.g been arrested for assault before even though I don't think I would act on murder.  

If I bring this up with a therapist will they think I am dangerous and risk locking me up in a psych ward? I want to change since I think it's harmful for me but I'm very anxious around authorities and feel like I have to lie or they will punish me.  

I'm also addicted to adrenaline and this expresses in a lot of ways, but I have done things like shoplifting, trespassing, etc. Will admitting to trouble with these urges or having done these get me in trouble? Or if I do things that might sound bad to some people, like I love tripping on acid and going around late at night around dangerous areas, watching drug dealers, etc.  

Along with fear of punishment I'm also worried I won't be taken seriously since I'm young, female, and told I look pretty innocent so I don't think they would expect any of this. I don't want them to think I am lying, or that I'm a bad person not worth helping, if I'm too honest.  

Also worried it will get me on some list and I couldn't CC or buy firearms once I become a citizen and turn 21. I'm in the USA.  

There are some other issues I'm less afraid of talking about like moodswings, mistrust, polysubstance abuse, sometimes depersonalisation that's worsened with drug use. Yet people tell me you have to be honest with a therapist, so I don't see a point if I can't be fully open. Don't really have any idea what is wrong with me, but I can't function normally at all. I'm super impulsive and everything just feels, idk. can't get anything done, I do whatever I want and can't think long term or do anything except on a whim.",5.741100917431197,5.536589366972478,6.502884403669723,79.50266605504586,67.02752293577981,9.728293577981653,30.972110091743122,9.3871,2.5250046972477063,1708,59,347,30,25,565,200,436,0.248,0.632,0.12,-0.9971,0,0,2,1,1,0,41.0,0,1,6,1,17,36,12,3,12,0,44,4,0,1,3,87,87,38,1,15,20,0,4,5,0,9,3,1,0,2,16,27,0,0,14,0,2,6,16,25,0,0,7,9,46,11,50,66,16,36,0,1,3,1,17,23,0,21,11,230,62,1,0.0,0.09288189790683966,0.0,0.08545903203868455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507607472540202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661872209936546,0.0,0.0,0.08856083411675861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902014631554187,0.20935694348496314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636255245605685,0.0,0.08657798836744669,0.06670595939484479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292851717870149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066720893487326,0.0,0.0,0.18182004934722407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485597420634652,0.051777286296992936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045382402858949,0.07668258060770101,0.0,0.08821298104921442,0.15854973816617945,0.11200675808208872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382668483307605,0.0,0.08910414895150215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508923284360636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392043502908443,0.08849521346645256,0.0,0.0818210543610932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163337755875093,0.043082284291460514,0.0,0.08842977775011729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149226278779,0.0,0.0,0.06937460003647908,0.06582967585337875,0.0,0.0,0.199938648562566,0.07075199043326914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875546735218808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316169989564794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812679777213305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356573734315704,0.07680767842955291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834850983273158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738902959086345,0.06844901560869339,0.0,0.0,0.07410593544030303,0.0,0.0,0.07975301529609884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022002887420887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246840681971885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945404293478326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753185663870314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300865357387007,0.06851820834285942,0.0,0.0,0.18203869356156094,0.10416054351982967,0.3013832077460668,0.07701990505855973,0.06223462329980455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749070740182817,0.0,0.05322313490486452,0.08526816571129085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770566180213028,0.0,0.06468174682693535,0.2311886528358786,0.06222405250154385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592220996020465,0.0,0.11137509106500013,0.08570952729294673,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TerminallyOdd,2018/01/16,"I think I hate a person. Let me start by saying that I'm a really easy going guy, and when I do get annoyed, it's usually fleeting and I handle it with sarcastic jokes and the like. That said, I've been working with someone for the past 8 years or so, and it's at the point where I genuinely despise the very sight of her. She's not mean or anything, but she's a grown woman who behaves like a teenager, who is clearly at work to chat and socialize - so basically it's the opposite to where she's annoyingly bubbly...and she won't leave me alone. My morning usually starts with her coming up to my desk (as she makes the rounds), saying ""Hi, tell me something interesting"" and just standing there, despite my telling her that I'm very busy and I don't have time for this. This happens a few times a day. 

The worst part is is that she works the front desk, so I can't get anywhere in the office without passing by her - and everything single time that's accompanied by some mindless attempt at banter. Well actually, that's not the worst part. The worst part is she's the most computer illiterate person I've ever met, and I'm the IT guy. That means I get more calls from her in a day than I do from other users in a month or two. I tell her to write things down when she has an issue for me, and email me them all at once (a concept entirely too confusing for her), and she did that for about two days before going back to old ways.

To top it off, she's a compulsive liar. It's mostly insignificant things, but I'm aware she's cheating the system to earn an extra dollar, but I'm not one to report something like that and have someone fired. She basically dilutes her work production during the week so she can work weekends and get OT...not my problem, except when she texts me on a Saturday with IT problems. She's tried to get me involved in it (making up an IT issue as to why she couldn't get any work done on a particular day, which I called her out on, then asking me to just go with it), but I wasn't having that.

It's become a vicious cycle where I appear to be completely miserable at work, and it's mostly just her. She's the hub for all office gossip, so I'm sure she's passing around a message that I'm a jerk, since at this point, I basically don't say much at all to her except ""leave me alone, I'm busy.""...that doesn't stop her though. 

I don't want to get anyone fired and affect their livelihood like that, but I'm almost at wit's end. I hate how she makes me feel this way about another human being, since I really never hated anyone. I don't wish her ill will, so maybe hate is a strong word, but it's a strong dislike, and that's not a pleasant feeling for me. I really just want her to leave me alone, but am at a loss as to how to go about it.

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mentalhealth,HQQX,2018/01/16,"Loss of motivation Alright this is going to be a long post so i will put Tl:dr at the end. Also please excuse me english (i'm not from english speaking country)

So as the title says i have problem with my motivation and i also know the root of it. It all began when i was 14 and i started dealing with depression and anxiety. At the age of 15 (after my suicide attempt) i got diagnosed, got medication and it was also found out that i have aspergers (which was quite suprising because it usualy get diagnosed earlier in life). Althou my mood has stabilized and everything was going alright exept my complete loss of motivation. I tought it was just about time but now i'm 21 and i still have the same problem.  

Now i'm trying to work on this with my doctors but still no luck. I think it's self feeding cycle... My doctor recomended to start doing some sport but there the problem i can't bring myself to it. Some days i have problem to even get myself from bed (but this is probably due to my circadian rhythm, i usualy fall a sleep at around 1pm even with my medication and when i use something stronger i'm groggy the next morning)

The biggest problem for me is studing. I pretty much don't care about my marks so i'm just doing the minimum to get by but latetly it became much worse. The fact that i'm going to work at fathers company after school doesn't help. I can find milion reasons why i shouldn't study but i can't find one to study. I like my subject (economics) and i can be quite good at it when i want (i was at national finale of economic competition for schools) but the thing is i see it as useless effort. I just can't wait to have this all over. Now this trouble isn't new i pretty much had the same problem at primary school the subjects were either too easy so i fooled around and was bored or it was something useless for my future life (i really didn't care about chemistry etc.)

All of this feeds back to my depression because i know i should study and i want to but i fail everytime and hate myself for it which in turn makes it harder to do something.

Tl:dr I have been diagnosed with depression, axiety and aspergers and i have long term lack of motivation even thou i take my medication (mirtazapin 30mg, olwexya 150mg).

Anyways i will be thanful for any suggestions or help.

Ps: Sorry for my rambling but i hope i makes some sence, i just needed to get it off my chest.

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mentalhealth,tuh36851,2018/01/16,"If you are in college, May have mental health/school support opportunity for you in the form of a research study Hey all, Have a possible opportunity for some of you that are currently in college and are looking for some help with your mental health in relation to school. I am a research assistant at Temple University at a research center involving community inclusion for people with serious mental illnesses.

We are in our last phase of a research study (“Distance supported education: A randomized controlled trial”) that is available to all college students in the continental US(Not Alaska or Hawaii-Sorry!!) between the ages of 18 and 50 who have a diagnosis of schizophrenia-spectrum, bipolar disorder, or depression that will be spending the next year in school, are receiving mental health services, and want to get help with school in relation to their mental health issues.

The study involves a distance supported education intervention in which a trained supported education specialist from here at Temple will work with you through online communication (Skype, email, texting, etc) for 12 months. Our specialist acts as an all-around support system, and can help from anything related to mental health and school success, from goals to relationships to campus life. The support is really up to you. You can also receive $60 throughout the year for completing 3 separate surveys but I do not recommend that as a primary motivation to join the study.

The only disclaimer is that this is a research intervention study, so there are 2 separate groups and therefore you are chosen randomly to either the specialist group, or a control group (in which you receive some information about going to school with a mental health issue) - but can still complete the surveys and receive the $60 throughout the 12 months.

Personal information from the study would of course be collected, but not released to anyone or published in any way that identifies you. Everything is confidential and that would all be further explained to you if you were to be enrolled. The only outside contact we make is to your healthcare provider to confirm a diagnosis, but that is also with your approval. This study is being done by Dr. Mark Salzer, Temple University Collaborative on Community Inclusion for Individuals with Psychiatric Disabilities. We are a non-profit and are not sponsored by anyone other than a research grant from the federal government (National Institute on Disability, Independent Living, and Rehabilitation). We are not benefiting in any way other than meeting our goal for enrollment and completing a research project. Research has been approved by an IRB board, and of course this would all be in more official paperwork if you were to show interest.

Here is a link to a study screener:
https://cphtemple.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3x7cZyGAZBBVOCN

If you want to learn a bit more about our research center, to get a better feel before reaching out our website is www.tucollaborative.org

Let me (Dave) know if you have any questions I can answer, or feel free to pm, email me, or call me. Tuh36851@temple.edu 215-204-4062",12.93603717225357,11.5816229389313,11.535675406571526,52.9358430136077,53.38931297709924,14.68556256223034,48.54596747427814,13.306631327047999,6.768584234981747,2556,135,353,73,23,810,243,524,0.019,0.872,0.108,0.9911,1,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,9,17,1,12,9,15,0,0,39,0,48,9,0,6,4,75,65,32,0,10,20,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,0,1,16,24,0,2,11,1,2,6,4,2,0,0,4,3,33,14,79,48,13,42,0,1,1,0,52,24,0,18,9,265,49,29,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015164887918124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948866709230233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876168739262459,0.0,0.05223174831303156,0.05650321282873388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054009687348666895,0.0,0.0,0.05613550409453464,0.06929458752749007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481163693379988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964640831505195,0.0,0.14237767380505867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054668027100692886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274399380699624,0.0,0.0,0.06495352053284632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078765213487949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570442137827372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418633256498922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632262025367737,0.0,0.03607239345628538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048042861495074,0.0,0.0,0.12763109910461193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249579511849266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03488235123154515,0.051737854805139434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490404816840539,0.04483189360231125,0.0,0.0,0.05604661746256909,0.0,0.053300188519286126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236780991066988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4477513629613368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101324908637625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750280498044986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654607867387054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400324059404808,0.05542098436013585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155473282735261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110275851204073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04066155532044808,0.0,0.0,0.06814478349200143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3854201054650683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105130002834688,0.0,0.0,0.0506885305176061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321611623157626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634856307922727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487443083947477,0.10076166062713557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620810696826563,0.0,0.0,0.1352652874215652,0.0,0.0,0.0817473051989373
mentalhealth,CynicalOldandGrumpy,2018/01/16,"What happens during a first psychiatrist visit? I have been seeing a psychologist since September for grief, long term depression, anxiety and a host of other issues. She has recommended that I see a psychiatrist to inquire about meds. I can't disagree that I need more help that I am currently getting, but I am terrified of doctors and of being on meds.

After a month of waiting I finally have an appt in a few hours. I'm terrified. 

I don't know what to expect? Is he going to want to do a physical exam on me or touch me in any way? What questions will he be asking? I'm very worried that I'm not going to be able explain myself well, and will be put on meds that make my problems worse, not better. Is he going to try to give me meds on my first visit? 

It's 8am, and I'm having a full on panicy meltdown. Somebody talk me out of this, please, or I'm going to loose my nerve.",3.38269868253294,4.359102883977903,5.551602209944754,80.05887802804932,72.646408839779,8.44215894602635,27.182745431364218,8.841846274778883,2.0693473013174675,686,24,138,13,13,241,105,181,0.18600000000000005,0.748,0.067,-0.9782,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,9,0,18,1,0,1,0,20,39,7,1,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,4,0,0,7,4,3,1,2,1,3,17,2,24,32,4,26,0,2,2,0,12,9,0,3,9,94,28,2,0.13489876696889047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173578741467346,0.0,0.10319718749703896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611213712094008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930699695196467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618811032120578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807460414285086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777500541478275,0.0,0.2294896445413424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047903799996501,0.1294071893853948,0.3066643120469008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192905341205704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904197999552798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284811217705436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079926491556324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413683441856726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938116375083282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004597445782703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5993684774092621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767490878526012,0.0,0.0,0.10002572641136258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480783367924067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907990151280432,0.0,0.13561052009318345,0.1511174920383094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149937037439383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115896540420599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842651901512056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158740778425062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130561049110127,0.07956678786478583,0.1070763621991504,0.0,0.0,0.12129019219565985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699624599888385,0.13747336826538106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tookull4you,2018/01/16,"Recovery Tattoo (posted in other threads) So I'm scouting for anyone that thinks they may be up to the task of drawing up a tattoo. Fairly simple with a more ""pen and ink"" style...Some back story:

I'm 21. I was first psychiatrically hospitalized at age 15 for what we now know is a Borderline Personality and Bipolar Comorbid diagnoses. I struggled keeping friends, I self hatmed, I cycled, I had anxiety, and I hated my birthday because it meant celebrating a life I didn't want. By age 17 I had been in the hospital 4 times, as well as 5 months in a residential treatment facility. My grades were failing because I refused to attend classes and I found out I didn't meet graduation requirements. My 18th birthday reared it's ugly head and with the feeling of failure fresh in my head, I decided I never wanted to see it come. That hospitalization was a really pivotal moment for me. I can't name a time in my life where I felt more useless. After that I went full fledge recovery. I've had 9 hospitalizations total. It has not been easy, but the past 3 years have been ultimately fruitful. I managed to graduate, I'm holding my first job, my emotions are better, and I'm maintaining more and more successful personal relationships. I have a lot of scars and I would like something to distract a little bit, mostly for my sake. I want to see something that reminds me how far I came. I'm sure people make these requests a lot so I'm not sure it'll get seen, but if anyome feels up to the task for any reason, comment below and we can figure out a way to get in touch.",4.349287241625088,5.872992065573777,5.908296507483964,76.322102637206,70.96721311475409,8.583036350677121,30.637918745545264,9.085049710711278,2.7376272273699205,1240,53,228,25,23,422,182,305,0.08,0.8220000000000001,0.098,0.8804,1,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,2,0,1,6,7,12,1,2,16,0,22,7,2,3,4,51,49,17,0,5,5,0,4,1,1,3,4,0,0,3,12,17,1,4,10,0,0,4,6,5,1,2,17,8,34,7,35,28,10,37,0,2,3,0,13,17,0,5,15,151,46,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817607292519176,0.0,0.09919272496436972,0.0,0.0,0.09066419320212936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970373280681122,0.0,0.15808413284272554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467740954975827,0.14155967638750086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830125233224925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116941897426569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160638963517288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585472396218616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311241871927698,0.0,0.12449792448117593,0.0,0.0,0.2205845308895992,0.0,0.14217005516130465,0.10017820581579903,0.0,0.1354883403636264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801651028187375,0.2661456657559458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867166801102028,0.11525146017759386,0.0,0.0,0.07126002950827479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831712569950533,0.06334735737106215,0.12995754900341205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204716583739287,0.0,0.0,0.08655183145180369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349669280479533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000499118397913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377910936940212,0.08989280001159725,0.2264354804907443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418241962924295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306617901855028,0.1333163486160505,0.0,0.1392107788331537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665109042003266,0.0,0.13526799413346244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964360528088995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555312968310704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24441386634332826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308355600022574,0.0,0.0,0.15121642499938795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294378373014238,0.10292137221385336,0.0,0.0,0.11658364890695146,0.12019997230477013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210969666889088,0.0,0.0,0.08349946570445357
mentalhealth,michaelmusician434,2018/01/16,"Slamming doors gives my anxiety a big sharp spike, why? I was never abused as a child, and I didn't grow up in a nightmare, but for some reason, whenever a door is slammed near me lately, I want to just hide under my desk and cry. Why? On a side note, can anyone in the Tampa Bay area recommend a free/low cost mental health service?",4.871029411764706,4.68114580882353,5.616470588235295,85.07411764705884,68.85294117647058,8.564705882352943,27.294117647058826,8.07648339933343,1.5113705882352946,257,7,55,3,4,84,57,68,0.123,0.777,0.1,-0.3693,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,4,1,0,1,1,8,6,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,6,0,9,4,1,12,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,2,32,6,2,0.0,0.3251376314379905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20992719464821308,0.0,0.0,0.1918777787464077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30143266791752776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632444632831241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916909668838597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095527668383681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27654639704973377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116462397581378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821449564548566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185743980768116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.495234820502741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seankelly014,2018/01/16,"Luvox to Prozac Hello I'm being switch from Luvox to Prozac because there is a shortage of Luvox where I live. Has anyone gone through this, what is it like",0.6619354838709697,3.13613067741936,1.6731612903225823,94.10974193548388,97.06451612903228,2.4800000000000004,15.877419354838713,3.1291,-1.0093277419354836,125,3,23,0,5,39,25,31,0.066,0.852,0.08199999999999999,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5101080581611298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447179596619125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564141070130066,0.0,0.6441930531101278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wireddachrn,2018/01/16,"Starting to think grad school isn't worth it. Classes started on the 8th and I'm already  stressed to the max. The program I am taking starts at 16 credit hours. I thought working part time would make this a possibility. I've been crying daily  I'm constantly studying, from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I'm isolated, lonely, and my depression is growing. I go from eating all day to feeling too nauseated to eat. My night terrors are beginning to resurface. 

I'm meeting with my advisor this week hopefully to either drop a few classes or drop them all. I guess I just need to vent and hear that I'm not a giant stupid loser who failed at life. I just want to go back to being happy. Any stories from people who dropped out?

Sorry if this is the wrong sub to post. With my anxiety and stress right now all I can think about is my mental health.",2.450767543859648,4.571963502923978,3.897423245614039,86.15560855263159,77.71345029239765,6.3802631578947375,25.89217836257309,7.413659706084162,1.3782073099415206,673,26,132,9,16,222,112,171,0.193,0.7040000000000001,0.103,-0.9394,0,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,6,12,1,3,8,0,10,5,1,1,3,26,33,7,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,7,7,2,0,4,0,2,4,2,9,0,0,2,2,15,3,23,29,6,29,0,4,0,0,5,7,0,4,14,81,22,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612433740901741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936434327258574,0.0,0.11177884936954266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235469672797987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790020679294536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050229623024936,0.09423316148676257,0.0,0.12585007011454175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29902765428162204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388097652418124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491244052384313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096398067614104,0.0,0.0,0.155543907732724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531518298239091,0.16468410175033402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512681833946184,0.14389548281529616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320652221135372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753400901108797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725123208221302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834365622547217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712059260387327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823011005584134,0.0,0.10129889823585407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472458621495584,0.13993937542363682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478283419342405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478778665483069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356564457369022,0.3102663842555121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347522939089191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986154821010786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725131897669114,0.0,0.1160003112256144,0.0852018028453138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618339521909395,0.0,0.11720597565340385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637467291631547,0.0,0.0,0.10379708706585626,0.15975563623301206,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SultanOilMoney,2018/01/16,"I can't identify my problem, please help? So the last time this happened was a few days ago I've decided to finally act on it. This usually happens in the middle of the night in which I will wake up and suddenly be full of mainly anger sadness with a sprinkle of basically every other emotion possible. I will toss and turn because I'm also full of so much literal energy, this makes me feel invincible and helpless at the same time. Though the thing is that it will always because of a random reason. The most recent one was because my mind decided to implant the thought that the girl I like basically brushed me off and is now with a nicer looking, better built, and in general better man, I'm just a loser that wasn't wanted by her or anybody else. This is all not true since it never happened so what is going on? Fortunately it hasn't occurred often (don't know about back then but now it's ~ every few months - the number of times it happens has GREATLY decreased during recent times). I have OCD but can't find anything relating with it and the closest thing I could find is Bipolar...though I highly doubt it's that because 99% of the time I'm fine and patient. I know this is long but I'm extremely curious, thanks!
P.s. I don't take any medication, don't do drugs, drink, smoke, or anything like that. If that helps",4.723731976251063,5.7307704656488605,5.759949109414762,79.69164546225619,69.53435114503816,8.570313825275656,30.96776929601357,8.841846274778883,2.533040033927057,1050,43,199,18,18,348,148,262,0.053,0.812,0.135,0.9536,0,0,3,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,3,11,14,1,1,16,0,23,4,1,2,3,41,42,19,0,4,8,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,24,10,1,0,9,1,0,2,9,6,0,1,4,3,14,8,22,33,9,36,0,3,1,0,5,13,0,7,23,135,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974578303850635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792137238628543,0.0914813781555506,0.0,0.0,0.07476500586076397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094743222392315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453937582325229,0.0,0.2680809141615436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447128711116304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877805343722629,0.0,0.0,0.07090413561642195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107702278147142,0.1274989681679041,0.0,0.09184326370727504,0.12367107005439645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526342808567975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055590481060959714,0.0,0.0,0.12043717568988165,0.20097180901753586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248313698947526,0.0,0.0,0.1212125387501248,0.0,0.0,0.3888889051485495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738494243314856,0.11616080919365325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208435882224972,0.08961821380798403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742518662924616,0.0,0.0,0.09729608977082994,0.09232442490547066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338780205423721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075599962075748,0.0,0.0,0.11101108247024703,0.0,0.0877554486996154,0.0,0.0808207506145022,0.0,0.08479481455608938,0.0,0.0,0.10317405189843848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450021791688921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068439188396406,0.0,0.12394420622282655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520059689996182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303970856210585,0.2171108854271871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094598055546577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266344873098433,0.0,0.0,0.10122073734452908,0.0,0.0,0.14608247957544734,0.0,0.21603686631066746,0.08728245629160508,0.3205432189896551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958640628237648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210866749943414,0.0,0.06484722624271433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Marmiteeeee,2018/01/16,"Why do I always get intense, insane withdrawals after the effect of being in love wears off? **TL;DR: Falling in love triggers something that makes me go manic, feel all kinds of physical and emotional pain, and makes me terribly depressed and detached from myself.**

I'm 21 years old, female. Ever since I was a teen and I fell in love for the first time, every single love experience has ruined me emotionally. I don't know how to explain clearly, because I do not understand it myself. When I met my first partner, I fell in love with him, but it happened gradually. As we continued talking and meeting, I would feel more and more in love with him, to the point where my entire life was gravitating towards him, but I think this is what being in love feels like for everyone. But as we know, infatuation has a shell time, and it disappears after a few months. When the infatuation has worn off, I started to feel depressed, even though I still appreciated my partner, but not feeling the same intensity sent me into a spiral of emotional turmoil. I started to feel anxious and depressed all the time, I started to have panic attacks, I isolated myself and refused to talk to people, and I even had actual physical withdrawal symptoms like vomiting, nausea, headaches, muscle pains, tiredness, etc. I eventually left my boyfriend, because I thought it wasn't fair to him to pretend that I was in love with him, when I clearly wasn't anymore. My second relationship was exactly the same: no reasons to fall out of love whatsoever. My partners have been wonderful to me and they did not hurt me. I simply fell out of love with them. And for the second time, I almost killed myself because of the infatuation withdrawal...I had exactly the same symptoms.

 

Moreover than that, I actually found out this is not even related to romantic love or the people that I've dated. About an year ago I stumbled upon a band that I grew to love very quickly. Basically I became obsessed with the band, with their music, with everything about the band members, I would sit and watch concerts everyday, read interviews and host fanclubs on the internet. Even though this was a band, not a person, I felt in love with their music with the same intensity that I felt in my romantic relationships. I was very elitist and defended them from haters, and I would get super defensive and aggressive everytime someone said something bad about them. Then again, after one year of going through that again, I fell out of love. I think I kinda became bored of their music or just burned out from the constant exposure, and I lost interest in them. I could not believe it, I was feeling exactly the same withdrawal symptoms that I had after my infatuation with my partners had worn off. So after this event, I realized that my issue isn't linked to romantic love, it is rather a chemical issue in my brain, but I don't know what it is. Actually, ever since I first fell in love I felt like something happened to my brain, like someone flipped a switch, and not in a good way, because it made me somewhat manic and made me feel like I wasn't myself.

 

However, now I am super afraid of everything. I am afraid of talking to people or trying new things, because I know that if I accidentally fall in love with someone/something again, I'll wreck my life once more, and with every single episode, I feel more and more suicidal, because I build up so much chronic pain that now I'm anxious and depressed all the time. Sorry for the long post, I thought I'd give some details since I thought my issue was unusual and I literally never heard anyone who was suffering from this. Can someone help me figure out what's wrong with me?",7.783896113831091,7.733853783430233,7.987622399020811,70.04275091799268,62.764534883720934,10.846756425948591,37.72735618115056,10.426177893888326,4.0597290697674415,2945,135,501,62,38,963,275,688,0.155,0.647,0.199,0.9931,1,0,4,0,0,0,99.0,2,0,8,7,27,52,5,5,30,0,41,30,3,8,11,126,106,44,2,6,18,0,12,5,4,3,10,3,0,5,29,46,0,2,30,7,0,13,15,25,0,6,34,16,95,27,88,66,20,90,0,8,1,17,57,31,0,9,48,376,124,2,0.0,0.0,0.12863881482948694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038950616054008895,0.0,0.044000079397781715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03656202916225145,0.09521906106219503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928055140847344,0.04357718452304942,0.03072423032811577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998868020227095,0.0,0.0,0.03668849531180346,0.16071438361069354,0.0,0.0,0.04950591429207288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981042953088462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04748408744547656,0.0,0.035082926408689666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138360755092428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828149819192474,0.0,0.0,0.04900529028832523,0.1160891851407508,0.07949342439952252,0.07404355943184174,0.04198704589393119,0.07898180463354844,0.042982255994338164,0.0,0.0,0.19995880556309345,0.06278222656080974,0.12656935793618826,0.0,0.0,0.11212734092435908,0.0,0.048178507592281296,0.0,0.0,0.045914211874423135,0.04215174667620724,0.0499448154983777,0.03685521992483277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771290604488232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029452401526761287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703923098297606,0.0,0.0,0.1375874472300419,0.0,0.0,0.04861367042403387,0.04575728547612695,0.09659423340014407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774149900492047,0.0,0.06207297159596108,0.10733558253845817,0.0,0.0,0.038885973771901235,0.0,0.0,0.04796626364296072,0.0,0.6741865283327154,0.08315515700921614,0.05866127102497649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03507290050928385,0.0,0.03230133498708327,0.0,0.033889634646035734,0.04243802398810879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04610817976106762,0.04679521528331049,0.029775230708044605,0.0,0.1402674206025206,0.05155472779988572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913884631247354,0.03836716354793414,0.0,0.0,0.04153799027826557,0.0,0.04208286787359815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04395240674603388,0.0,0.0,0.04517816854390441,0.0,0.09435133941997606,0.0,0.0,0.04179749282018616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904414626125984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169196938173527,0.1353102232655489,0.0,0.04918780999569817,0.09330396977060064,0.0,0.035090952692863296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04806379247103764,0.0,0.0,0.137013061375045,0.0,0.1059531665330524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02919212623387573,0.05631061659234812,0.08634266738681383,0.10465158406972393,0.12811034066992394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029832725909492132,0.0,0.0,0.04574362661248906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251105474656132,0.0,0.03487793619399788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039649481016087035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765161502815665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364224516723813,0.048042056149701036,0.0,0.08488875462197291
mentalhealth,Imbadatusernames951,2018/01/16,"I can't text the crisis text line I've tried texting the crisis text like while I was having an anxiety attack at school the other day but when I did a message from my phone provider said it would make an additional charge my account. I don't want my mom knowing I tried texting them or have her pay extra money she doesnt have.

I have MetroPCS for my phone provider, I know I'm supposed to have unlimited data so I just assumed it was texting and calling to. 

Sorry if this the wrong subreddit to post this to. I'm new to Reddit so I don't know where I'm supposed to post stuff like this.",2.640975609756097,4.165842081300816,3.885048780487807,89.11635365853658,75.34146341463416,6.220813008130082,26.121138211382114,6.742157984588678,0.971478699186992,468,17,99,4,10,153,74,123,0.103,0.8170000000000001,0.08,-0.1628,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,7,0,13,0,0,1,0,13,22,8,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,4,1,16,2,9,17,1,8,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,3,6,63,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379030017820992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357618128824354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862589247154213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808048565280845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530007355295741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920249308665684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291723974270226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507580475131564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678465169746205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101082170136221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20366358238242127,0.0,0.0,0.21668643297253465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396738396813999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24509984063506696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907274777029549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628510897124162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209457016268751,0.234091008820992,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FASTLANEBANGBANG,2018/01/16,"LIFE IN THE FAST LANE I want to spend my life in the fast lane. 
Become a criminal, a street racer, sex and drugs then die a glorious death like a movie.
I fully understand what will happen and the risks I will take but I do not give a single damn about it, I am not scared of death and would despise to die of elderly age. 
The only reason I do not pursue this path, is out of empathy for my parents who have raised me dearly and lovingly, and could not bare to see me this way. And this burden is making me more and more unhappy.
Fuck is wrong with me?",2.447323671497585,3.715812147826089,3.963768115942031,89.40294685990341,75.34782608695653,7.545893719806764,20.60386473429952,8.167268648758528,0.7530096618357494,427,9,95,7,9,142,73,115,0.276,0.5820000000000001,0.142,-0.9715,1,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,10,3,2,9,0,11,6,0,2,0,20,20,9,4,3,5,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,0,1,12,3,12,16,3,9,0,0,1,3,4,4,2,0,5,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333789152288888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871645900776874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4386196442306101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24505631675933565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535572189310985,0.0,0.20271095282520907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868636352389407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985136372536579,0.10323699454524002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071848502095234,0.0,0.1410532549784337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071327124373969,0.0,0.0,0.2346383897068001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21726524556103605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115614567356725,0.0,0.1683893249839532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888128796432596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219984576381322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463804722067764,0.16773064548836195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011089092271887,0.2310378986806049,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Languy22,2018/01/16,Anxiety is stopping me from starting new hobbies and habits In 2014 I had to go to the hospital for mental health issues. I was losing weight at the time and after I left the hospital I had to leave school until I felt better.  Now whenever I try to lose weight I am afraid it will trigger something inside of me and I will get mentally ill again. I am also afraid this will happen when I start a new hobby. Does this happen to anyone else?,2.642386363636362,4.6947648295454565,4.120454545454546,85.11318181818183,76.8409090909091,6.672727272727273,22.363636363636363,7.6454224807358475,1.0849954545454543,347,10,66,5,8,115,60,88,0.147,0.8190000000000001,0.034,-0.7717,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,0,2,4,0,9,4,0,1,0,6,16,6,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,3,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,4,3,12,1,12,9,0,15,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,11,47,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968034278961565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240529599880565,0.0,0.0,0.11338695993776952,0.16615342769969474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341850275330345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190845710355718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546496826901594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557002900142832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472259267004965,0.0,0.09216001073965947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28679742568832345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236989187779336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925427911898572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170541538868814,0.17618874019722142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628340582186367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268409239264212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31323281165317923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411590533901851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483970062662222,0.0,0.0,0.2295572228483716,0.0,0.0,0.1355741181131229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455756521823673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009688644465683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949375835275931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coffinxkicker,2018/01/16,"I can't determine if i'm bipolar or just depressed?? Hey guys. I've never really been on this subreddit before, and obviously I know the best advice is to go see a doctor to get the true answer. long story short, i've suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as i can remember, i'm 23 but i was only just diagnosed when i was put into a inpatient mental hospital last September. they officially diagnosed me with major depression and anxiety when I was hospitalized, after not being brave enough to do it for the longest time. after that, i saw a therapist for around a month or so who was not great at her job. she was just a therapist who typed what i said, didn't really ask me many questions, didn't really do i guess what i'd expected a therapist to ask? they've also put me on antidepressants since the hospital.

i've always known about bipolar disorder but i guess i've never really thought about what it was like and truly knowing what it was like to experience it and it's different forms but recently a friend was describing how they would feel just so okay and happy with their life at one point and then suddenly just felt like they wanted to die and like for months at a time it was one or the other. they felt like they'd be so down but then just kinda felt fine and it was hard to explain. 

i've personally felt like, i've been the same way? i go through times where i'm like 'man i'm so lonely, i have no friends i need new friends' and so i envelop myself in a new fandom or hobby and things are good and fun and i feel like i'm getting somewhere in my life and this can go on for months or like a year at a time but then i'll go into this 'just leave me a lone' i want to be alone and i end up like ignoring all these friends i'd made and feeling the absolute worst and like there's no other solution. i experience ups and downs like through the day but it's just like.. i'm fine keeping myself distracted but once i think about everything or i'm not distracted my thoughts will just race about how awful things are and everything wrong with the world and life and then an hour later i'll feel like fine? 

is this normal to depression/anxiety or does this sound like maybe i should see a therapist or someone about possibly having some other issues besides depression/anxiety to look into? please help, it seems like any time i feel like i should mention it i feel like it's just me being a hypochondriac or overthinking everything. 
i guess if anyone who struggles or lives with bipolar disorder in any of it's forms could help me out or kind of help describe what it's like it'd help a whole lot? thank you.",3.070508474576272,4.912227915254238,4.456444444444447,84.12918644067798,74.9322033898305,8.56180790960452,25.359322033898305,9.21078282632365,2.0978470056497174,2097,72,425,51,45,695,225,531,0.133,0.648,0.219,0.9943,2,3,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,6,1,28,48,0,3,25,2,36,9,0,3,5,111,82,57,1,11,33,0,11,19,4,4,9,2,0,3,34,31,0,2,21,0,0,6,10,12,0,2,23,17,43,36,52,48,11,60,0,6,4,0,30,23,0,21,49,274,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05489605555552278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818300363914888,0.0,0.04492516960573757,0.04674422518506779,0.0,0.0,0.07640532620695806,0.0,0.17190270005990424,0.0,0.0,0.03928065192229868,0.0,0.0,0.0500099333578347,0.1050368590812444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780296074793742,0.0,0.05895487700178378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485320562820662,0.0,0.0,0.036229874851371774,0.0,0.145156934724939,0.11403806948316232,0.05830343171895426,0.058693587105754126,0.12876868766728292,0.057500106925248186,0.049161356044598224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975663842749286,0.05804643044784346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146628945004126,0.10990485480143684,0.0,0.0,0.1704303553740515,0.16053302309645215,0.21575704647549174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361055534141684,0.0,0.058700906602547724,0.0,0.1277079941117287,0.0471190669359855,0.0,0.06193595156552425,0.18565772760243504,0.05562461064324409,0.0,0.059802050808212916,0.0503240539523844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061852099055506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532357454449025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863477094792322,0.0557475539669144,0.04993319116268719,0.0,0.05850027761483791,0.06174742897334981,0.04579220439596955,0.0,0.059483918245612014,0.0,0.0,0.11903960318962425,0.5214647893166551,0.0,0.049605809367529764,0.09943073490084486,0.04717499664822608,0.0,0.0,0.0477601474487882,0.0,0.05315655987375603,0.0,0.0569552223000898,0.0564379037296788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056613761290374376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452116281818158,0.0,0.0,0.04165494443843217,0.08665518570120956,0.10851326335889336,0.0,0.0,0.055042075257100205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059827261530801014,0.07613472890017661,0.04272556124441467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905207324894872,0.0,0.06166608444567578,0.05310594668271516,0.06333175125775864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294791614943485,0.0629317172728468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395511830204602,0.0,0.055468557225283335,0.0,0.06363821747747199,0.0,0.05343771834674952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953247434801112,0.05114193524417422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046470653158864214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047599059167590524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872897685406508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051720743994325004,0.0,0.26090588013045257,0.07464374125690257,0.0359963082276127,0.0,0.08919740550176823,0.16378791741114382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626995367215198,0.044591127483862784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272023278067121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399069225207007,0.061421336355528725,0.0,0.03617650289703921
mentalhealth,Spencer_62,2018/01/16,Abandonment issues I believe that I have abandonment issues I’m not entirely sure if I can prove it or not but I feel like something is definitely not right in my life. I’m 19 M currently in college and I’m seeking help what should I do?,0.9165986394557812,3.3756860000000017,3.4888775510204084,84.5948129251701,86.95918367346941,7.348299319727893,26.534013605442176,8.344100000000001,2.31128299319728,190,9,38,5,6,66,35,49,0.174,0.6829999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.1143,1,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,13,9,4,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,2,8,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,23,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600799424623686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159944665559056,0.2283224221888135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422125414281945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6671590763862953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257430486878301,0.15614049730135598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729367951866971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460438217572257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012193737984382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,William_Wisenheimer,2018/01/16,"I don't like people much. Is there something wrong? I don't like people because most of them say and do stupid things. They speak of things they have no education in, they generalize way too much and they get emotional over nothing.

It's not that I don't like anyone, I am a student who likes talking to professors or older and educated people but regular people are like emotional children and provide very scant conversation material.

I don't thing I have any social anxiety since I can be out and about and talk to people no problem when I need to but when I dig deeper, there's never any treasure.

I don't care about gossip. I don't care what someone's sister in law did. I don't care about Game of Thrones or Walking Dead. I don't even own a TV since it's a waste of time. I read a book a day every day.

I like talking about quantum physics, M theory, the politics of the French Revolution, the Stanley Milgram Experiment, the laws of thermodynamics.

When I bring up these cool subjects, everyone gets bored but me.",4.359266666666667,5.852345060000005,5.539999999999999,79.09166666666668,70.9,8.533333333333335,29.833333333333336,9.029198982220553,2.5081333333333333,812,33,155,16,15,270,115,200,0.244,0.708,0.049,-0.9894,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,5,0,11,16,1,0,9,1,17,0,0,0,1,20,24,14,1,2,6,1,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,1,9,7,0,0,0,4,0,2,12,5,0,0,1,3,22,11,18,22,4,16,0,0,0,0,17,5,0,3,14,101,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422476868226382,0.0,0.09237144370251853,0.0,0.0,0.08442940166441637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736065048237586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693301178655737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574418989423955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27164918451547576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975253030320854,0.0,0.10173490683366837,0.11537933170736005,0.0,0.1181141436915956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617108370338542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539465333091467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752649012175076,0.0895326799121905,0.09312785203189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586040343535878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185552780466338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553897102146075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078009322443055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602319265039608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19976702265118249,0.0,0.0,0.12308678581420045,0.10230889480292632,0.09295726099064087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29115660048446484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406576560177798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040879002842418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962926493077362,0.0,0.0958436794901324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201834552502226,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unusuallyalice,2018/01/16,"Is this typical of my diagnoses? (Change of illness course) Background: I have/am diagnosed with schizoaffective and borderline. I am on a unique (intense, imo) regimen for these conditions. I take two atypical depot antipsychotic injections, one SNRI, and a typical antipsychotic as a PRN. 

Lately it feels like I lost my core self and only exist as aspects of myself which put me into different headspaces. I feel fragmented.

In the the fragmenting, two major halves exist. Group A is the groups of subpersonas (lack of a better term) I inherited through psychotropics and therapy, relatively healthy and functioning to a point. Group B is my old selves, psychotic and emotionally unstable. I find that in my epiphanies I fluctuate between various shards of the core that are relative to either categories and I can’t even say any of them are grey areas. My epiphanies bring me back to the thoughts and beliefs of Group B (psychotic), but only the behaviors of Group B (borderline) come on sometimes (mind you, at a much lower level). 

In my Group B phase I feel like when I have been in Group A, that I have succumbed to the lies of the simulation and the truth is more important, despite it making me miserable. Then when I am back in Group A, I feel worried that this is happening--and overall I still am confused about what is real and what I really believe. I’ll spend days to weeks in Group B (‘psychotic’) but Group A shines through at times, and then I will go back to Group A. If there is one grey area, however, I would say it is my depression because I will experience it in either case (though sometimes in neither, or one but not the other). 

I don’t understand what is happening to me and I don’t know which is really accurate but I am thankful to have the level of wellness required to be able to articulate my own explanation of things. Is this just schizoaffective and borderline in a nutshell or is this absolutely unexplainable?! 



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mentalhealth,fendermallot,2018/01/16,"Wife is self admitting tonight My wife has a bipolar diagnosis and has decided to self admit tonight. A friend is going to take her as I work very early, the kids will be sleeping, and do not currently have the option of sick pay.

I'm sorta freaking out because I don't know what to expect.",4.49758620689655,5.4753444482758615,5.73051724137931,79.80370689655173,70.0344827586207,8.558620689655173,31.74137931034483,8.841846274778883,2.6394000000000006,230,10,44,4,4,77,45,58,0.122,0.794,0.084,-0.2975,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,9,3,1,0,0,11,15,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,6,13,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,4,27,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20638250205629766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615699424855558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19241095455894508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860632426804636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7063820150798947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338803631385632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545543300769651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793467374069081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24647507742729616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sungmoon93,2018/01/16,"“You’ll See” makes me mad instantly, how do I avoid this? My mother has all my life used “Youll see” whenever she gets mad. I’m 18 now and all is good. Me and her are best of friends and she’s not abusive or anything. But whenever she says you’ll see either to my father, my little brother or me I instantly lose it. I lose every sense of feeling towards her and hate her in that moment. I’ve told her to stop, but she does it anyways. Can’t blame her, she’s been saying that all her life. Can’t blame her for not being able to stop when angry. Being angry causes us to do things without consideration. I just need help calming down whenever I hear it when I’m home. Any exercises you guys recommend in dissociating the word with instantaneous anger?",2.2498214285714297,4.258474414473685,4.015338345864663,85.61236842105264,77.88157894736842,6.974436090225563,23.357142857142854,7.957251820313856,1.2099853383458647,589,19,122,10,14,198,92,152,0.212,0.67,0.118,-0.9466,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,4,0,3,6,11,4,1,1,0,13,3,0,4,3,28,26,11,0,1,9,3,1,0,1,3,3,3,1,1,7,5,0,3,2,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,7,29,4,13,19,5,11,0,2,3,0,27,5,0,2,6,81,36,0,0.16178641262453558,0.1916904434501043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002030847716883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313643249425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978485862099782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619921188382658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158037994712633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631203042693102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180407136075225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499578106516752,0.0,0.08452672310839024,0.0,0.0,0.13569876700510414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019398452184874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973058772226756,0.0,0.0,0.18234504530616727,0.0,0.10844202207101304,0.0,0.1622849631201885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22854905565871456,0.0,0.16215248826541093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619952247304411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799368671896037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199625749729024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25731809790029914,0.0,0.0,0.3867684729129002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705213705402393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074837036456042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459385046714078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19460913415173714,0.13973151526200053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595632840845433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FrozynHeart,2018/01/16,"I'm worried I might be developing an eating disorder I used to have no problem with food at all. Even when my stomach shrank so I couldn't eat as much as I used to. But recently, there's been numerous occasions where the idea of food has just been gross and even though I'm hungry I can't bring myself to eat. (For perspective, gross on the level of the idea of orally servicing my parents.) Sometimes I feel the same repulsion towards drinks. 
Recently, this led to a period of three days where I did not eat at all, and ever since then I know I haven't been eating properly. Is this something I should be worried about? Am I developing some kind of eating disorder, or am I just being paranoid again? And does anybody have any advice on dealing with this?",5.0327702702702695,5.9975605202702695,5.888756756756759,79.20354054054056,68.79729729729729,9.433513513513516,30.340540540540534,9.642632912329526,2.7960464864864867,599,23,114,13,10,197,91,148,0.163,0.8370000000000001,0.0,-0.9659,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,6,0,18,10,1,3,3,26,25,11,0,3,5,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,9,0,4,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,4,1,15,1,20,15,5,18,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,3,8,88,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873495422289488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566964113747805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176205546281356,0.11471785812789885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550576214839834,0.0,0.09737599076928648,0.0,0.0,0.10900544503748937,0.0,0.6831620240552121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698989430822426,0.10065304564346486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626311004878997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691041659945352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25122796122617697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587399029138618,0.061152880610956535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804335793148242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179865867796908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355580099402215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647349415973488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197378653044017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204640101740012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566360162021475,0.11005211191905627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093254254312345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220876148817187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260068194554801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,M_a_n_g_o,2018/01/16,"Alpha-Stim Hi all,

Today my doctor told me a little bit about the Alpha-Stim and in the upcoming months wants me to have a few sessions a month with it. His office is new so he doesn't have it yet, but he believes I'd be a good candidate for it and thinks I'll greatly benefit from the results. For reference, I am being treated for depression, anxiety and PTSD.

Has anyone tried this? I'm interested in knowing what it's like and if anyone has had positive or negative reactions?

Thanks in advance!",4.481428571428573,5.626570101010104,6.1358152958152985,76.2618181818182,70.21212121212122,9.697546897546898,31.31457431457432,9.957137785484203,3.2601907647907638,396,17,73,10,7,136,74,99,0.106,0.68,0.214,0.9238,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,7,0,10,1,0,1,1,14,16,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,7,10,12,3,10,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,2,6,50,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558511765006365,0.0,0.0,0.3209768263904885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585947815019453,0.0,0.0,0.2505805989494948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768855639474528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349273870821728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251371639033335,0.0,0.2530508558297575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261403058485574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213375981770768,0.23004319661018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664074958934757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216755653846505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26830109898057874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113147243417984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706961584456338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21756177306679395,0.21931987549600435,0.0,0.15583162837188194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353791139770833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xJSTARKILLERx,2018/01/16,"How do I approach my GP about BiPolar? I was diagnosed four years ago with Clinical Depression, I have been taking Citalopram for a number of years now and I go through phases for what feels like months I can feel extremely happy and cant wait for what life holds for me but without warning the next day, I will be the most depressed, suicidal person you can meet, like right now and then theres times where I feel normal like I should. 

I've never really thought about BiPolar before but researching some of whats wrong with me, I keep reverting to back the possibility of BiPolar II, how do I approach my GP with looking into this further? I'm sometimes good at talking to someone one on one but when it comes to this kind of thing my anxiety shuts me up.",5.191891891891891,6.1962041351351385,5.5698378378378415,81.49002702702704,68.45945945945945,8.622702702702702,31.69189189189189,8.841846274778883,2.556992432432432,604,25,115,10,10,193,99,148,0.129,0.7559999999999999,0.115,-0.7324,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,10,9,0,0,4,0,11,6,0,2,1,26,22,10,1,2,4,0,3,3,0,2,6,0,0,1,7,8,0,3,4,0,0,4,3,3,0,3,3,4,17,6,22,16,2,25,0,2,1,0,4,8,0,2,16,82,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148419330613222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808585441146805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874571002218532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424732262765796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422878019656932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798049068319204,0.0,0.28841974755121225,0.1699410603800302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25397760102812056,0.1196142318730282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515608268674804,0.14043493081757746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782356361048129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882222213694565,0.0,0.17435579636604726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826294198622665,0.2453980489948925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060162523196015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364349382906052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129134719767124,0.0,0.17806698909766674,0.0,0.16404887731092527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691398792843465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619611467547794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18875564999032046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726192385690324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429869427328733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186551253792445,0.0,0.16559560577106344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831446233197644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258888452406327,0.1345763742767843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123510418425292,0.0,0.0,0.1329231698047655,0.09763158036061394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139952244209313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306179817886548,0.0,0.2156428389581537
mentalhealth,throwawayladyyy77,2018/01/16,"Help, why do I do this and how can I stop? Hi there. 
This is going to be pretty long. I have so many issues with friendships due to my irrationality and I'm looking for a way to fix it. I'm so tired of feeling crazy and knowingly doing manipulative things. A lot of the issue lies within social media I feel, so if you have advice on how I can make social media less important to me, let me know. I've noticed that I show some symptoms of BPD, but I don't want to self diagnose myself. I'm an 18 year old female senior in high school for reference. I'm going to list them so it's easier to digest: 

1. I've found that once I have more than one friend group, I find a way to somehow distance myself from the 'older' friend group (let's call it group A) by trying to make them jealous of my newer friend group (group B).  I'll purposely make an excuse to not hang out with group A, then make plans with group B and post pictures on social media so that group A would get offended/jealous. I was doing this subconsciously at first, but once I noticed it, I started doing it consciously and couldn't stop. 

2. I have a friend who I've been friends with forever, in friend group A. I've known her the longest, and find myself getting actual anxiety attacks when she's mad at me because I'm terrified of not having any friends for the last couple months of high school. I don't have intentions of staying super close to any of them after high school (including her), but I feel sort of obsessed with her in a way because I get offended when she doesn't post me on social media like our other friends, or even acknowledge that we're friends.  This is weird because I know that I don't really care about being close to her in the grand scheme of things. It sometimes feels like she's doing the same thing I do in #1. 

3. (Kind of connecting to #1 and#2) I use social media at a lot to make subliminal messages to my friends (AKA sub tweets). Usually I'll complain about when ""people"" do something that I don't like, keeping it specific enough so they know it's about them, but generic enough for me to deny it. I thought I did this to get a rise out of them, but when I finally get confronted about it, I'm met with the same anxiety in #2 (heart beating uncontrollably, sweating, crying even)... which is weird because in a way, I wanted the confrontation. 

4. Although I am getting better at this one, I used to and still do instigate drama between people a lot. If someone talks bad about some else to me, I end up finding a way for them to find out without me explicitly telling them (so that I'm not labeled a snitch or anything). I thought I did this because I liked drama, but once this actually does start drama, I'm begging for it to end. 

These are the big ones, and writing them out made me feel like a psychopath but also a little happy because at least I'm aware of what I'm doing and am looking for a way to stop it. Thanks in advance, sorry this is so long. ",4.430813823857303,4.982727588628767,5.505050167224081,82.90444258639911,69.93645484949833,8.273801560758082,28.878483835005568,8.303829127061777,1.9054557413600897,2310,81,471,32,39,766,253,598,0.124,0.726,0.15,0.9763,0,0,1,0,0,0,78.0,1,1,9,6,25,34,6,2,29,0,40,6,2,12,1,87,88,37,0,6,15,0,5,5,10,1,4,0,0,1,36,21,1,4,20,4,0,5,10,12,0,4,9,7,63,22,81,73,12,70,0,0,2,0,54,29,0,11,32,310,99,4,0.0,0.0,0.10875088903224853,0.0,0.0,0.054449702384639316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04455988849941625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578408376467789,0.0,0.08525249002554287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585345511173696,0.0,0.0,0.06339043259320667,0.0,0.0,0.046524524744372055,0.2038012257937069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049280502765236135,0.0,0.0,0.07017837317358586,0.0,0.056897147440893275,0.0,0.05681104990785683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061653984440353124,0.06120666157158727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655541988437384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048761631020033516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654756265903146,0.0,0.09870414646811664,0.1151489239214664,0.0,0.07360610077809918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087050568444442,0.07961387427615342,0.0,0.061039392064390276,0.2037111377652763,0.047396067922848034,0.0,0.06109496041127847,0.4304973724210083,0.0,0.1746708499475611,0.0,0.0633348079489049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059315807584843575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602939386653668,0.03734846501519363,0.17661619348693972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631603747110104,0.0,0.04952719044037203,0.0,0.05802461895144751,0.12249073623204272,0.04541987353490775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395654770826324,0.0,0.1361117953549732,0.0558468610179681,0.0,0.09862227565259564,0.09358284494208433,0.0,0.0,0.14211544644420546,0.0,0.05272435033132525,0.1859702702538878,0.05649212629410619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447579585189768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268769571520041,0.05846958650063803,0.17802243996631031,0.11327352997767685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725954740238855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673021125886642,0.056688066342160386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03569615917287605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917721573465064,0.0,0.0,0.058128926918685285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840015961452151,0.047212036989484576,0.04289657954750753,0.0551092772661683,0.06237485249306726,0.07887891128537483,0.059390938746920426,0.04449868774905765,0.13975520398634853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791522664957995,0.0,0.0447862531675397,0.04870241865796865,0.051300208896699104,0.0,0.0,0.11105523307235543,0.0,0.0,0.08847215221394278,0.0,0.06404284099501904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03783075274612591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624972883418438,0.061368568188484636,0.0,0.06573112071491068,0.2653713746011657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050279338112865626,0.0,0.0,0.05371284456174095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03958244417290212,0.0,0.0,0.035882356138840235
mentalhealth,WazzaShrek,2018/01/17,"Do I potentially have some sort of problem or do I just have an awful personality? I've always felt that there is something not quite right with me. Like most of the time my mind wanders and thinks back to something I did/said that I felt was really embarrassing or ashaming or just plain stupid or pointless. Then I can't stop thinking about that and I keep hitting myself in the face lightly or saying something under my breath inaudibly to others like ""f***"" or ""I'm stupid"" or something like that. When I'm alone I think about those thoughts and then I say those things more audibly enough for me to hear it louder but not for anyone else in the house to hear. And I always pull my head down or hit myself slightly harder or on a table at a moderate severity. Not too hard and not too soft. Also sometimes in class I think, ""What if I said something really stupid like someone's name in the class or a swear word or something related to the topic that's just stupid?"" and then I somewhat have to strain myself to prevent myself from saying said thought out loud. Then I hit myself lightly or swear under my breath like the other mentioned situation.

Another thing I want to talk about is my constant worrying. I am always worried about forgetting to do something or something I have to do that's coming up. Like I am always freaking out thinking about everything happening in the day and if I forgot to do homework the day before or if there is a test that day I forgot about even though my teachers never mentioned one before. At the same, recently I did everything that day that I had to remind myself to do. Yet at lunch after I completed everything I still felt worried that I needed to do something.

To keep going, I have this really bad habit going on that deals with me eating away the skin around my fingers and biting my nails. I have tried to stop myself but I always end up doing it when I am not paying attention to what I am doing. It's caused me to have my fingers looking pretty rough. They recover decently quick, which causes me to stop for a little bit. Then I do it again.

One more thing I want to talk about is me in social situations. I feel like I am extremely socially awkward. I have a decent amount of friends and people do find me pretty cool on the outside I'm pretty sure, but I personally feel really awkward. Like for example, if someone makes eye contact with me for more than a few seconds I always look away then look back at them. Also, I can not bring myself to try to approach people to talk to them because I'm constantly worried about how they'll judge me and if they'll find me stupid or a loser or something similar. It's weird for me. Like this year I'm trying to open up and approach people more often and try to talk to initiate conversation more often. But often times I try to start one and then feel like they don't find me interesting to talk to. Also I'm awful at keeping conversation going. Like others can talk for hours to other people. When I talk to people either they keep it going or I try to keep it going but make remarks that are not interesting, or there are decent moments of silence. When I'm with my friends I am more comfortable but a lot of times I'm not sure if I should talk to them because I'm like, ""do my friends actually want to talk to me right now/do they find me interesting enough to talk to me right now or only if they don't see anyone else to talk to?"" Also texting is a whole other issue. When I send a text I'm always looking to see if people respond. If they don't the whole day I think, ""shoot. Am I interrupting their alone time? Am I being annoying?"" Also I always put much thought into what I text even if it is my closest friend who is comfortable with me and who I'm comfortable with for the most part.

Sorry one more thing. I have a really weird memory. Some things I just forget extremely quickly, whether it's a random piece of trivia or something from class or something like that. Other times I can recall details of it really well. Details others would forget about. There doesn't seem to be much of an in between for me. I do remember situations of people I recognize really well. Like if it is a person I talked to only once or twice I can remember the conversations we had because there was not much. Those people are often like, ""how'd you remember that?"" or would forget those details or something along those lines. I can do the same most of the time for people I'm comfortable with but a few things I would forget.

Really I bring myself down too much. I am really pessimistic and really hate myself. And this is the first ever time I'm opening up about it. I just saw a couple of said symptoms above on askreddit and it made me realize that this may be my problem. Like others I know do not realize I have these problems. They just see me as quiet and gets good grades and is chill and someone who they can talk to if they recognize me somewhere or if there are not many people in the room. They don't know this very negative side of me.

Thanks for the help. I really want to figure myself out and I feel this is the first step.",4.5463862703781714,5.627835940944884,5.518994676721751,80.98155594987246,70.00393700787401,8.24362870134191,27.10513474548076,8.552925997458273,1.901712781412887,4060,130,775,64,71,1337,321,1016,0.102,0.768,0.13,0.9858,0,2,13,1,0,0,87.0,1,1,16,4,55,54,7,5,38,3,76,11,8,6,4,189,152,87,0,25,64,0,13,16,4,7,1,11,2,3,61,38,2,11,30,0,1,14,19,20,2,8,18,36,127,34,124,121,31,103,0,1,9,0,62,41,0,53,64,592,188,7,0.0,0.0,0.03372135080161967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157850874014578,0.0,0.13817079061526505,0.2300246959893569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623463467533727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04832425813518914,0.07081273838378986,0.0,0.030761873984272037,0.0,0.0,0.06493238201120176,0.053142356988239436,0.02885254242507165,0.06319445008630471,0.0,0.058808662834291876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037725843586521667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099638713695296,0.0,0.029766651346532787,0.03623096426165807,0.0746848098235119,0.0,0.0,0.0382351934063589,0.0,0.11142774743062564,0.03562538012273566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035359078916975165,0.05773365913064366,0.0,0.030606068403163218,0.07141049222748592,0.0,0.04564739042715545,0.03125758334471072,0.0,0.0,0.09316922851282884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988954344460488,0.049373157443266674,0.09953659147185233,0.0,0.1263330313877789,0.05878607328239169,0.0,0.0,0.1067905047491026,0.0,0.018053912197297517,0.0,0.09819392263381456,0.02898365788592252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03055746630625932,0.0,0.030955094360637293,0.0341165716582038,0.035464088410511616,0.0,0.07789350672800442,0.0,0.023161938295619727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034030375851930056,0.039872605535185526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03606714334311535,0.0,0.15357334343843004,0.0,0.0,0.037981786845020835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701144909948318,0.03463386108039551,0.0,0.0,0.11607224442532385,0.0,0.0,0.029377996302802637,0.0,0.032697412023599916,0.046132358293043414,0.0350340273122376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034891377638147585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160957871732998,0.02562259266510617,0.02665146425561761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0368006625177049,0.0936632696346929,0.05256229083544965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03742042495666272,0.0,0.23956551747891874,0.09051803879568948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546662312742784,0.0,0.09919533273208707,0.0,0.034737994335186574,0.0,0.03675421032706792,0.0,0.0,0.2435097290874131,0.0,0.03411955691371126,0.0,0.11743451921551125,0.0885310643056523,0.13148142758180273,0.08244017114523297,0.0,0.0,0.08260918906909846,0.0314581856375664,0.0,0.03903807306831576,0.0,0.0,0.11652606823578505,0.0,0.07045031107004794,0.08783672532052696,0.3458343754204673,0.034176442834690124,0.03868224528250579,0.02445868224134889,0.0,0.02759620400625397,0.08667026636587921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513662313556666,0.0359165739606353,0.0,0.36106901890547055,0.0,0.031814219741945836,0.0,0.0,0.13774351662276624,0.132851274526647,0.03395077193408942,0.08230003012010244,0.1410478301439704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076619648376282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02851204806277204,0.08152732175104624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062139397541007016,0.0,0.0,0.07716034665584899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037184767615288,0.0,0.07364207303965033,0.0,0.0,0.02225271958167945
mentalhealth,stereoskullz,2018/01/17,"I dont have a personality Idk if this goes here but fuck it I've got mental health issues anyway.

I just copy other people or keep some of their traits for a period of time

Also hi",0.7149999999999999,2.7240568461538466,3.643269230769232,86.30798076923078,83.1025641025641,5.951282051282053,12.314102564102564,7.1686216300943375,-0.5191589743589744,143,1,31,2,4,51,35,39,0.129,0.84,0.031,-0.6809999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,4,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,2,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648741432169033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881838982337216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062048116890048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26490452013429633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520682197886416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457045316433716,0.0,0.2944009192035075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337888681929219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22962418794878134,0.28920593931756106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313531668010445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,karlrowden,2018/01/17,"Critical Psychiatry I think that mainstream psychiatric approaches are more concerned with controlling  ""crazy"" and socially unacceptable people and making them non-issue for larger society of instead of their rehabilitation. This includes brain-damaged approaches like chronic drug usage, convincing people that their illness is chronic and will never remit, etc.

I've took over /r/criticalpsychiatry with help of reddit admins to provide a space to constructively discuss current problems with mainstream psychiatric treatment.

Full disclosure: while I feel that psychiatry has huge problems and I participated in antipsychiatry movement, I realized that antipsychiatry is not constructive, because they sometimes venture in denying not only diagnostic labels but also existence of very real mental health problems we all know too much about. So while I participate in r/antipsychiatry, I don't consider myself belonging to antipsychiatry movement. I'm not against drug treatment either, though I do think that it should be minimized. I agree with Thomas Szasz on this point: https://www.amazon.com/Antipsychiatry-Quackery-Squared-Thomas-Szasz/dp/0815609434

I want to create a space for constructive discussion which is critical of psychiatry, but which is not throwing out baby with bathwater. ",17.703138297872336,17.12461569680852,14.538829787234047,32.68250000000003,43.627659574468076,16.846808510638294,55.41489361702129,15.078166124597352,8.900051063829787,1093,60,109,35,8,334,125,188,0.093,0.83,0.077,-0.4497,1,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,4,1,6,5,0,0,2,0,11,6,0,2,2,34,19,11,0,5,7,0,1,1,0,2,6,0,0,0,10,11,0,1,6,0,0,6,6,3,0,0,1,1,15,2,24,15,6,21,0,0,0,0,9,11,0,0,5,86,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324948734848302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157269902190036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600795715271692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688345381310836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864628516304612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858302719062559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842503125438462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711396525448286,0.0,0.0,0.11168483549038727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739126026272956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157242285330094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140427439969654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122309327014596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679182234594911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248811971663315,0.0,0.12851102368792267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672537872327527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310327837619917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751393334136504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783111964205737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18965506708561625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985261124698092,0.0,0.0,0.16479581056309275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135323988695546,0.16370764526851014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185125859963454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374825956594022,0.098279399175537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatblondeguyluke,2018/01/17,"I am so self conscious to the point where I am ashamed to leave my bed. Title explains most of it. I'm so afraid of what others think of me I literally don't leave my bed. I'm in college, and last semester I attended only 5 classes all semester. I failed every class not because I'm dumb but because I'm so scared of everyone else I never went to any classes or exams. Please PLEASE  someone help me. And please don't refer me to a psychiatrist, I've tried it and they don't work, because I'm afraid of them as well. I'm afraid of all people. Please I'm begging you all",1.0503443526170813,3.0349471404958663,3.2631611570247934,89.62686294765842,81.72727272727273,6.0168044077135,24.13292011019284,7.1686216300943375,0.9712639118457296,448,17,97,6,12,153,68,121,0.094,0.735,0.171,0.887,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,2,5,8,1,5,2,0,5,0,0,0,4,15,15,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,7,1,0,1,0,14,1,12,14,4,7,0,1,0,0,6,3,1,2,2,53,18,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829646942303506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29123467779961826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330341793634017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417624290869318,0.1521716166027495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674291219445747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129811213677663,0.0,0.3372486528491041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282456125138362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211179289871651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040492669781454,0.0,0.0,0.6992412241544759,0.15054412608691264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943851615384574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613402825297055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493326477647488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020419200293604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812130343207396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143186208573714,0.14762772023649734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593697631819845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,usersince1979,2018/01/17,"i keep feeling like im gonna turn into a transgender and than i somehow start acting like it
than i literally feel like it
whats happening to me!!!!!!!!!",1.5131182795698948,3.5276065483870984,4.427096774193551,81.727311827957,80.29032258064517,8.004301075268819,26.46236559139785,8.841846274778883,2.2856365591397854,117,5,24,3,3,42,24,31,0.0,0.6629999999999999,0.337,0.8469,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,4,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,14,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257869295174554,0.4603014577358909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848844800263985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479874184064507,0.0,0.0,0.28635006353528003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.472172407535074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280260707030641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504169002606737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TinariKao,2018/01/17,"I've read a lot of these, scared to post. Hello. I Can't do this.",-4.633333333333333,-3.7088660000000004,-0.9724999999999984,111.53416666666668,115.25,2.1333333333333333,5.333333333333333,3.1291,-3.0488916666666666,48,0,15,0,3,17,15,16,0.209,0.7909999999999999,0.0,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4454294164575017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5017833413845757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5240751553616289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5245487058376415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,floofraptor,2018/01/17,"School Participation in Mental Wellness Hello!

    I'm working with a group of people for an Ohio highschool campus to find new ways for them to utilize their resources to reach out to those students and youth in the area who are struggling with mental wellness. If we're able to offer innovative ideas it may have an influence on the region and hopefully spread to a wider audience.

    I'm here, of course, looking for suggestions. We're focusing currently on how we can educate students on identifying symptoms and how to provide care for their friends.

Thank you! Any input welcome.

",6.545461165048543,8.788628825242718,6.386589805825242,72.20570995145631,66.5728155339806,9.033495145631068,36.175970873786405,9.516144504307137,3.892651456310679,471,24,72,10,8,148,74,103,0.024,0.759,0.217,0.9642,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,3,1,5,8,0,1,6,0,4,1,0,3,0,15,10,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,7,21,9,0,11,0,0,1,0,12,7,0,3,3,48,8,6,0.21918628730027714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905419158224606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223475027902918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033229569805214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934278185309995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770143969199954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24743463891542716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406127785515955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417764488674368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169148211081454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195617348666365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218282245452772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291410979314141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22781847743547454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179728473966946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397987257707068,0.0,0.0,0.3941495909956632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595702276506843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,insane_throwawayy,2018/01/17,"Some peculiar things I've noticed about myself So I've been doing some soul searching lately and I've realized that there are some very odd things about me. I'm not sure what they might mean though.
Since it may be important to know, I'm about 12.

* I tend to fixate on things. Only one thing at a time. If I like, say, photography? I won't have any other interests. This has happened for my entire life.

* Often times I'll flap my hands or put my hands into fists and apply pressure to my face, using every ounce of muscle I can.

* In some sort of relation to the last one, I usually have my hands raised up and my elbows bent in front of me as opposed to my hands being down by my side when I'm standing normally.

* I've always felt a need to fidget with things.

* I always like things to be very orderly. If something doesn't look quite right, maybe I'll move it a little. Sometimes I'll even just stack things without really realizing.

* Making eye contact has always been a difficulty for me. Ever since I was young, I'd get my fair share of ""look at me when I'm talking to you"".

* I tend to word things weirdly sometimes.

* In contrast to the last one, sometimes it'll be hard for me to understand a sentence if it's worded oddly to me.

* Sometimes small things will agitate me to the point of screaming and crying like a toddler. For example, one time I was playing Splatoon and my brother just kept staring at me. This normally wouldn't upset me, but that day it just felt off for one reason and I ended up lashing out at him when he wouldn't stop.

I'm not sure if these things are normal or not, but I'd love if I could hear someone's input on it. Thanks in advance.",1.5836306001690623,3.837215985207102,3.1532087912087943,89.65607692307695,81.45562130177515,5.756348267117499,21.787320371935763,6.9916214562510826,0.6555026880811492,1305,41,266,16,35,429,179,338,0.069,0.86,0.07200000000000001,-0.2613,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,2,15,15,0,2,9,0,25,9,7,3,3,58,48,21,0,12,16,1,7,3,0,7,1,3,0,0,23,9,0,3,8,1,0,4,8,5,0,5,7,14,34,10,46,29,4,43,1,0,4,1,11,22,0,15,18,175,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827810389605933,0.0,0.0,0.05673983045299829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661743124358648,0.0,0.09165131852618813,0.053809781554547575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390016818042153,0.0,0.0,0.05510916634453295,0.07547328966463808,0.07029903480713308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022467076312571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359224223510387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378281553362588,0.0,0.07474291206431094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940392469156115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585463899946498,0.13602412514847634,0.09412025388677656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893382252677193,0.12228889984459718,0.08362551258998224,0.0,0.0,0.14013166067458524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753048969702431,0.0,0.0556946581884889,0.0,0.08382339943345445,0.09088704788958914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851317403456804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868002839129807,0.0,0.06186727031473541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452508095634275,0.0,0.0949932582090859,0.0,0.0,0.2826944025917665,0.06345738501137406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887466909470031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387694851245568,0.0,0.08874522165768224,0.0,0.0,0.05345169905547477,0.08578684405127772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125450259512628,0.0,0.06635222828147583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380394332265241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706956617023217,0.06423366304980165,0.3300841963786672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975683358291604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727624146346128,0.0,0.0,0.06706327463803602,0.0,0.07681732127396325,0.0,0.0,0.5543164899030861,0.0,0.08197615331491041,0.0,0.1459578664291339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686056759321517,0.0,0.07206253640482863,0.09189375872037192,0.13768806363834346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043002018853758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RocketMarauder,2018/01/17,"How do I know if I have anxiety? I’ve always been a pretty nervous kid. Scared of talking to teachers, other kids, etc, but as I grew up the fear of socializing went away and now I have friends. The issue is that I’m always worried if they are actually my friends or not, I would have these thoughts and wonder why they liked me or considered me a friend. I’m not sure why I do this, and if I think too much, I think of evidence that proves my friends don’t actually like me.

Does this sound like a mental health issue?",4.040427236315087,4.5190903457943925,5.148998664886516,85.37233644859816,70.77570093457945,8.357276368491322,28.369826435247003,8.418075326091056,1.7429209612817091,405,14,89,6,7,134,67,107,0.118,0.64,0.241,0.9585,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,3,11,0,3,5,0,10,1,0,1,2,20,18,11,0,4,8,0,0,3,4,1,1,1,0,2,6,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,3,1,15,8,7,14,2,5,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,6,4,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.2939706353671211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25065909439662865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522539669540675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151430134003395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181030316217174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679833144627235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949159446845616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654806492918042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010411337121913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31442041295520673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827778969835414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207588626678489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179152161843212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072448057702178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532366956135572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079887069246914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354013269597866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195942654758315,0.0,0.0,0.12106423604013244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19302495626427885,0.0,0.11957702153090925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962807752855896,0.2718258048721685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633431040778565,0.0,0.15296392444276502,0.0,0.1069975277116229,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CheesyChips,2018/01/17,"How should I prepare for my psychiatrist appointment to make the most of my appointment? I’ve been to a psychiatrist before but I don’t remember preparing for sessions or deciding what I should ask. What should my expectations be for the  initial appointment and any subsequent appointments? I think my expectations of what a psychiatrist does wasn’t the reality last time. 

How long should the initial consultation last? Do they have a set idea of time (NHS psychiatrist). 

I’m going to ask for more out of the ordinary therapies, proper diagnoses beyond what a GP can provide, any awareness of the different conditions and if they are different to what I have been initially diagnosed with and I’m asking for a medicine review as well as access to other types of medication (mood stabiliser & long term sleeping tablets)

I’m in the UK if that helps. 

Thanks in advance!",6.015215880893301,8.53738965806452,6.721935483870968,68.1059801488834,68.54838709677419,11.478908188585608,35.148883374689824,11.20814326018867,4.9927965260545895,707,36,113,26,13,232,88,155,0.0,0.927,0.073,0.8941,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,0,12,0,14,4,1,3,0,23,24,11,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,0,11,2,23,16,3,14,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,4,7,79,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768712867973602,0.0,0.2230427083463253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4599359761035591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954657824917538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329003504705228,0.0,0.3426770692704973,0.0,0.0,0.14351201077872786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320141113919664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992153465144124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851289501373723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673535418711536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29025856581095644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094670825027728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652064213505426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185772917742156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641121557585304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509833854636516,0.18754111267738213,0.0,0.0,0.10508055493158397,0.0,0.0,0.19125211556499533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474500504414872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,captakay,2018/01/17,"Psychiatrists won’t see me Hi,

I have no idea if I should post this here or somewhere else, but I am too curious not to try.

I was hospitalized last month after a suicide attempt. For a few years, my GP has been prescribing me Effexor for depression. She recently started prescribing me Vyvanse for binge eating disorder.

After leaving the hospital, I went to see a therapist. I knew I would need to see a psychiatrist too, so I got a list from my insurance and started making calls.

At three different offices, I had the same conversation with the person on the phone: I say I’d like an appointment, they ask what medications I’m on, I tell them I’m on Vyvanse and Effexor, and they tell me the doctor won’t see me on those medications and hang up.

I’m so confused. Why won’t they see me because of the medications I’m on? I don’t even want to be on Effexor anymore, I want to taper off of it which is why I need a psychiatrist. Can anyone explain this to me?

Thanks!",4.058815692079939,5.26771694300518,6.049641006661734,76.24353626943007,71.279792746114,10.073871206513694,31.920429311621017,10.290406445055957,3.446292672094745,762,35,150,22,14,266,112,193,0.112,0.8190000000000001,0.069,-0.903,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,4,1,6,4,0,1,13,0,15,5,0,1,0,21,37,9,1,7,4,0,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,1,6,5,1,0,3,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,6,6,28,2,24,25,2,20,0,1,5,0,15,9,0,3,9,104,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698617959130884,0.08953200333966473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970473958339975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805501052697005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074820600781567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102849242444396,0.0,0.0,0.13377971544780218,0.1467506012511815,0.13105942781820146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102194607212453,0.1069651218987228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457247912089579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240924033387973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454715819329134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437372080841563,0.0,0.1355811094367097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255629274790331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547099564787156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869754358319085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022042541666334,0.0,0.0,0.18988740980941507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180390780248932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263166324312362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264289365808935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018264802968974,0.0,0.0,0.5101762190830695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812617434490225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006038823683695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238338529848448,0.11788658276827467,0.0,0.1486700512085777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693411314898693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510484531985671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186989476410576,0.2310812950454784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095945575106,0.0,0.0,0.08245674701637093
mentalhealth,hanna__banana,2018/01/17,"Just needing a little help. I have never posted here, and just recently started reading this subreddit, so please let me know if this is not appropriate. I need help, though. I was diagnosed with bipolar type II in 2011. Over the years I have gotten to a point where I've felt like I had a handle on my mental illness. I wasn't constantly checking in on how I feel, having ups and downs, or even thinking much about it.  

However, in the past couple months, for seemingly no reason at all, it's as if I'm back to square one. Some days I spend my time alone crying, or more accurately, sobbing. Other days I am bouncing off the walls, talking much too quickly, to the point where my coworkers comment on it. Now, today, my husband had to unexpectedly go into work and the thought of being alone all day sent me into a tailspin. I was sobbing, thinking of how pathetic I am, how much I dislike myself for being so weak, just an overall mess. I took a xanax (prescribed) and it helped me calm down. This is not rare for me anymore, unfortunately. The smallest things are setting me off.  

I have been to my psychiatrist and she prescribed me a couple medications for worrying and for depression, but it has not been long enough to determine if they are effective. How do you deal with constantly cycling between moods? Most importantly, what do you do when you can tell you're having a meltdown but can't seem to do anything to stop it? I can't afford therapy right now, but I would appreciate if anyone had any tips.",5.536785649244216,6.424471667820073,6.30681114551084,76.93749226006194,67.6159169550173,9.129193225277726,32.51156437807321,9.276330184999452,2.907196539792388,1188,50,219,22,19,391,172,289,0.104,0.8270000000000001,0.07,-0.5671,2,2,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,3,1,2,21,8,0,0,14,0,31,6,0,6,3,48,47,24,0,7,15,1,2,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,12,10,0,1,10,1,2,3,8,5,0,1,13,3,33,2,35,30,9,47,0,3,1,0,14,22,2,10,21,175,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24362817113229365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998250659253778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664287462433988,0.0822394238020627,0.0,0.09678745439882204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043898420478516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542009319406269,0.0,0.0,0.2602784105575034,0.1291949963493107,0.2275566127129056,0.1212563150303092,0.10130197343522117,0.11937715728784727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152815088812816,0.0,0.0776838637914532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946988121984375,0.0,0.1129292305183625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684354342846137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365053742874069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463834905377908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026971727521485,0.0,0.057460944454278164,0.11788153152084653,0.0,0.10408592966629418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848514378943198,0.1185286618205254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938794917935204,0.0,0.25938256050738784,0.17442066062956166,0.09071224881431626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969924033417583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227720970921352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910639219973882,0.22236914317454534,0.0,0.11264304325618862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764723044013825,0.0,0.0,0.1209282221167045,0.11613102028862905,0.0,0.0,0.1004429107042129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214145289386896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324878692846606,0.0,0.0,0.09833174257617673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453480496909812,0.10280104549338333,0.0,0.13450346251893255,0.0,0.07813844693235801,0.15072640105343146,0.1155565353402327,0.09337349145343672,0.06858248676868729,0.0,0.1114856487278077,0.0,0.1306750393005181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562541347923958,0.1194441499611088,0.0,0.08355060705988225,0.0,0.0,0.07574046274260647
mentalhealth,bababooeyshabbagoo,2018/01/17,"I always see things in a negative way. [M, 19, USA] I do believe I have anxiety, but I know for a fact that's not the only thing that's wrong with me. 

I always see things in a negative way. I see religion as some sort of system where it strips individuality from people and I also see that as a business to gain profit from mentally ill people. 

I see politicians as just a bunch of liars trying to gain votes from ignorant people, and how saying the pledge out loud was and still is brainwash throughout high school. 

How America's culture is wrong due to greed and how we waste so many resources on breeding and killing animals just to feed on them.

How war is just followers who volunteer or are forced to join are trained to kill other innocent people who are also blinded by propaganda.

How corrupted laws are, the war on drugs is ruining more lives rather than helping lives. 

How everyone, including me, are just followers of marketing, corporations, materialism, and so on. 

I'm not sure if I'm seeing the world in a realistic way, or what. I see some positive things but the negatives outweigh everything. I know there are positive sides to each of the things I've said, and may way of thinking seems to be irrational sometimes, but I'm not sure if something's wrong with me. 

Help? ",6.3840952380952345,6.91510833469388,7.011020408163269,73.88850340136055,65.65306122448979,10.941496598639457,33.884353741496604,10.793553405168565,3.7421782312925167,1022,43,189,27,15,337,135,245,0.261,0.625,0.115,-0.993,2,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,2,18,14,6,0,12,0,15,4,0,6,3,46,32,27,4,3,15,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,13,12,1,1,4,0,2,2,6,11,0,0,2,11,15,3,32,28,5,21,0,1,8,0,9,12,0,9,2,130,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556156148495556,0.1618603719030778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744055411462025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958152326772247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279361341619387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293848042930672,0.08741325744552272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038599809121754,0.10276316424025353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521307637191414,0.0,0.10690584535432583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717691270096491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986089022421095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980177168517846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397250896136184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697182654237107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251890400378082,0.07734703849328249,0.0,0.09843483580419422,0.542539301731801,0.0885441209656576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487741914862846,0.09619509285738913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767395277891634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333749773930813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32308439364021313,0.0623218784116291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603484846484424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30880975990254256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31902380366545463,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spotwaldo,2018/01/17,"How do I care for myself when feeling extra sensitive? I go through phases where it's much easier to feel hurt by little things (all my friends already have plans and can't hang out, or I take something to heart more than it was intended). I know these things aren't meant to hurt me, but  I feel them deeply. While I don't fault other people, what actions should I be taking when I am feeling this way? ",7.127962962962961,5.749364481481483,6.729722222222222,82.88125000000002,64.67901234567901,9.58148148148148,31.36111111111111,8.07648339933343,2.0041333333333333,317,9,66,3,4,99,63,81,0.056,0.7809999999999999,0.163,0.7425,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,1,2,1,14,19,7,0,1,2,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,4,12,2,8,15,4,10,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,49,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417715316299555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233771047585576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431144399788786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926857858381564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451403426808598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596229933224594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690812738110078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040626807476852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195859809716704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105653775484474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188958874808045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866637315995467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294571938582942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911076451057196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390363740959786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pimpcool420,2018/01/17,"Quitting social media and reducing internet usage didn't have miraculous benefits for me. It seems every once in a while we hear those messages about how social media is subtly making people unhappy and ""life would be way better if you weren't on your phone all the time"", etc.

I was required to quit social media entirely and reduce my internet usage by a court order for several months (not a child porn/luring offense or anything creepy). I tried to spin it in a positive direction, telling myself ""now you can live than wholesome life with real connections people talk about"". It didn't happen.

My focusing on school and work didn't make me any better at school or work, I made very few new friends and lost contact with old acquaintances. Being ""out of the loop"" of current events didn't de-stress me at all.

I understand all the theories about internet addiction, I just want to share my first-hand experience about how going cold turkey is a recipe for sadness.

Thanks for listening ",7.458819688598691,8.194453535911602,7.3211953792064275,71.88059768960323,63.3646408839779,10.780713209442489,33.029131089904574,10.637119530657019,3.7265867403314905,794,30,129,19,11,253,123,181,0.067,0.828,0.105,0.7894,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,3,0,8,8,9,1,0,8,0,13,3,0,5,3,28,25,11,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,1,4,9,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,8,3,16,6,24,14,5,18,0,2,0,0,17,7,0,4,8,84,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626855694063315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124235468328988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041308430278672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373305258259137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496385484920627,0.0,0.0,0.11304668019899645,0.0,0.0,0.13124710332425688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141276274695931,0.0,0.0,0.10366185614021968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625370293604407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186488886326078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122291083212586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895409519168076,0.0,0.0,0.11847736479532572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646586166290287,0.0,0.0,0.12695789496683266,0.1791232619423581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709574196453807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958528095822372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079216861002813,0.14289004411910153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860375603048408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854193580167646,0.0,0.15271843850700947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27158081672002393,0.0,0.12214621221822194,0.0,0.1515774880512731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103179413751242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369490969256655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078433093982433,0.1172732620459712,0.1235286256152147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823745278063625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109477316414273,0.0,0.0,0.13967899891588795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070691468272847,0.07913881031567438,0.10650041486871856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535932741835416,0.0,0.0,0.09531276835568947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaysgoose,2018/01/17,"Diagnosed with BPD Hi all, first post. I have just received a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and have been reading up on it. I am about to finish cbt with my therapist and she has suggested other therapies, just wondered if any one has any experience of this disorder or therapies for it. Thanks in advance.",7.0965789473684255,8.840113350877193,8.392061403508773,60.276513157894755,64.6140350877193,13.419298245614035,40.56578947368421,12.602617957971056,6.360231578947368,259,15,40,11,4,89,46,57,0.091,0.86,0.049,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,1,10,8,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,1,10,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,2,34,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827166261470578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618042193890435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109830548283644,0.0,0.0,0.476472658883343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333615003802466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681359660416998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085767809547442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150353310314404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990814148308895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079256420096022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137820581099285,0.4754335260105194,0.24135238285813654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254254859073888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Begone______THOT,2018/01/17,"I'm confused I've always been very introverted, but I don't know if that's it. I feel like I'm different from everybody else.... There must be a way to put me into words.

**Here's a list of things that people tell me:**

*They think I am gay

*They say I act effeminate but nerdy

*I say weird things

*I seem stressed out

*I'm not manly (related to the first point)

*I'm shy

*I'm socially awkward


**Here's a list of observations I've had about myself**

*When people meet me, they seem to love me, seem to think I'm funny

*When people get to know me, they talk to me less, fake laugh at my jokes

*I genuinely enjoy spending time alone, and always have

*I only enjoy spending time with other people if they seem to be genuinely enjoying my company. BUT when they do seem genuinely happy with me, it's one of my favourite things to do

*I need to spend time alone doing nothing after a long night of socialising

*I either get really talkative or have nothing to say when I know someone well.


I could go on, but I'm going to stop there for now. Is this autism? Online autism tests seem to always diagnose me as not autistic. Am I socially anxious? These two mental health disorders have been my focus so far but I am just not sure.



Thanks


EDIT: Formatting",-0.5977378903368589,1.2114016104417686,1.7460536021637587,91.5952151462995,109.20080321285141,5.084861896565855,16.72821899844275,6.68642624312137,0.3746088189492665,967,29,197,19,49,324,133,249,0.117,0.732,0.151,0.9523,1,2,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,6,1,13,16,0,3,5,0,18,4,0,0,2,37,44,15,0,5,13,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,10,5,0,1,12,1,3,4,4,5,1,3,3,4,33,11,27,37,2,24,0,0,0,2,16,6,0,10,14,122,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053630765266744,0.0,0.0,0.2474830438472428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112002595864169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915707099808644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062736248316977,0.0,0.10358261748722893,0.11362568192449925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282068226130497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501293332015829,0.07082728942561978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433040223024008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359553495698937,0.0,0.11268972435013787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055388375336096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538364441407708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345807007779453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843592708681931,0.0,0.0,0.08773782867582282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947980978403454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991213468837776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351277011649697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303834625396816,0.0,0.1902594496602005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718139825865002,0.07540219784715636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274931191303695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372153301214016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966540955663916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351310547582707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365258437729243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5415326386246299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021262090850429,0.08400296150965943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288741438159529,0.11356718651290447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344045829622076,0.0,0.0,0.0796868371053899,0.08665475291531842,0.09127692317844108,0.0,0.0,0.1975972456198225,0.12705278412699567,0.0,0.0,0.17343204293504605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684763551243963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180279264414511,0.0,0.07869455470770505,0.0,0.0,0.08914084742155302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TurtleeSam,2018/01/17,"Would any student/professional here be willing to help me urgently? I am and have been experiencing some concerning behavior and emotional distress and I need insight. Just to clarify, I️ know I’m not allowed to ask for a diagnosis cause it’s not accurate, I️ want to know what it seems like I have so I can find a professional who can help me here. Id want to PM cause it’s a lot :/ Thanks in advance. ",0.6255833333333314,3.1335117250000017,3.3825000000000043,82.68583333333333,94.25,7.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.636416666666667,318,16,64,10,12,111,53,80,0.102,0.7440000000000001,0.154,0.6317,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,0,9,0,0,3,0,20,18,4,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,6,2,7,14,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,1,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136690391382914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23558359385614164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177415836706215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28346320761882204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23032109934850045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378171509184781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27698241086335146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311322271078785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423921616661995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868529123684739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294090095032552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320053903681939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29726924409820443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790117547192346,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ViolettVixxen,2018/01/17,Has CBD helped your depression? I have been weaning myself off of my medication for the last 2 weeks and have definitely noticed a massive difference in everything for my depression and anxiety. I have weaned off of it because I want to give cbd oil a real chance but I won't be able to start it until the end of February. I'm curious to know if it has helped anyone that isn't on medication before I invest out of pocket for the oil.,6.055862068965517,5.950597114942533,7.607494252873567,71.5119310344828,66.35632183908045,11.557701149425288,33.49195402298851,11.20814326018867,3.86485471264368,347,14,66,10,5,121,58,87,0.073,0.836,0.09,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,9,2,0,0,0,8,14,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,9,0,16,11,0,10,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,47,13,0,0.22006921112586644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683523441553684,0.0,0.0,0.15387750928323013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415214849375934,0.0,0.18726268980482266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790905781442696,0.0,0.0,0.22992548628259205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949160010550255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977840168152792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111104402357286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29501550671558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094428312769975,0.17938577931392002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4433931555081223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505502554757093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504869415429999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557661203249017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980252251868746,0.0,0.1765262467949871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Part_y,2018/01/17,"why did i have the urges to destroy something :/ everytime i have something in my hand,like,scissors,pen,knife,or any thing that could destroy something,i'v always find myself wanting to destroy stuff,whatever that thing is,including people,sometimes.
its sucks bcz if i didnt find anything to be wrecked,i'd feel irritated and angry all of a sudden,and its really affect me in my daily life,and it makes my mood swings even worse(i have BPD).
and well,if i do find something to be destroy........it never end well.
can you guys help me with this one?",6.891858974358975,7.029308057692312,6.487307692307692,79.42435897435898,64.57692307692308,8.856410256410255,34.641025641025635,8.344100000000001,2.7142871794871795,434,18,79,5,6,135,73,104,0.23,0.7440000000000001,0.026,-0.9629,0,0,4,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,0,10,0,0,2,2,14,14,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,1,11,1,8,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,2,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965969597767273,0.0,0.0,0.1223124123454403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801120315725033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265300493437008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360527084072378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593044563354606,0.0,0.0,0.11879723686396362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909436943624686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931721697475716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809178106568838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055779067257895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270419376377713,0.08787154880822187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200593647073338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872075850638566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187923038012853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522428254087487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153999519568663,0.17788824012095453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20589910083270765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389848067630968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608734105402348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32343530086536965,0.0,0.1622975915315606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,w3vvvs,2018/01/17,"Got my first assessment on monday. Pls help. (UK) I'll make it short but I've been having some issues with hallucinations & paranoia, I went to the GP and got referred to ""the wellbeing service"" (my local outreach thing) I had 1 appointment there & she said that I need to speak to a team of psychiatrists and it'd be a month and a half. Today I got a call and they've moved it to monday. 

What should I do to prepare? 
What should I expect? ",1.125,3.4511492777777804,2.9977777777777765,89.60000000000002,84.0,5.822222222222222,20.11111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.4935777777777779,345,10,73,5,10,115,61,90,0.031,0.893,0.076,0.3632,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,1,0,13,15,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,2,9,0,9,4,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,47,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891772728819736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305052522005349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19201388964568186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5416334607929167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513084176420867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356133721826361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068285836721745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018310233059076,0.23992534639253055,0.0,0.16738296694185284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472994296517367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499712824450787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139746356669278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092627631181765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,winterbow,2018/01/17,"I have a [first] doctor's appointment for medication coming up and I'm really scared I live in Canada, and have been seeing a talk therapist for the last few months since having my child.

I have been depressed and anxious most of my life, but as I get older it seems to compound and get worse, and have been having major panic attacks and feeling suicidal/self-harmy. I am starting to think that I'll never be better and will always suffer like this. I have issues with trust and connection from childhood, but like, I really just want to be better.

So I've taken the step against my fear and made an appointment. I've been waiting a month and a half, and it's next monday, and I'm scared. Medication scares me. My doctor scares me, I had brought my issues to him earlier in 2017 and he told me to ""Get my shit together."" which really made me reluctant to seek further help. (I'm glad I eventually did)

I believe I'm suffering postpartum depression, and it's starting to look like I have BPD (according to my therapist, I at least show some symptoms, and have been recommended to see a group therapy session which I will attend)

I am just really scared. I'm scared I will never heal, or get better. I'm scared of medication in general because of all the side effects and the stories people tell. I'm just looking for some affirmation, or some personal stories, some good news I guess. I want to grow to be happy and healthy. I can barely get out of bed at this point, which I never fully understood the ""at least you got out of bed"" or ""at least you ate something"" sort of goal post, but my goodness, do I ever get it now.",6.272955974842766,6.0808284968553465,7.107547169811323,75.57125786163523,65.9182389937107,10.462893081761008,32.13207547169812,10.125756701596842,3.0991811320754725,1274,46,243,27,18,426,159,318,0.21,0.664,0.125,-0.9873,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,2,0,6,6,26,2,9,11,0,26,10,1,3,5,54,61,25,0,2,9,0,1,3,0,3,8,0,2,2,10,21,1,1,5,1,0,5,3,15,0,2,15,5,35,11,34,40,11,34,0,4,4,0,11,13,1,11,18,160,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674063291348456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061377320712732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124975368308834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048894895999337766,0.0,0.0,0.09036850876496058,0.0,0.21281604595904569,0.0,0.0,0.10102091126375802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909328207696608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816844978487355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419540653804654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255397988635139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025785651679563,0.04055627456404269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822606104079955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25143655566469075,0.0,0.0,0.13455165155267532,0.06415077163772961,0.0,0.08835967934297934,0.0,0.0,0.08538438073714115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537626593424303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674355156517466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538135334986675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665425998035721,0.1175587604445715,0.0,0.0708263555608617,0.0,0.1347113625920102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179211701261913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424075477225364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804473010584602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558726503766332,0.0,0.08530358982134538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410843002661476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05560708755038815,0.07003574027362916,0.0,0.0,0.07582379382782864,0.0,0.07681841793393321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055367410321995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5621251020487714,0.0,0.12783298858070305,0.07301961072417078,0.08367588051072418,0.0,0.0823337800185398,0.06635003129148817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061749102465922426,0.0,0.0,0.11354522963694018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336826158275425,0.0,0.06446926456792146,0.0701065369726873,0.0,0.0917264209014774,0.18625855388355692,0.0,0.05139493454321247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076643503693216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461914565308904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174021475786926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamwizzerd,2018/01/17,"I hope it's ok to ask if these emotional states a have are normal? I wake up some days and feel very positive, happy, and chatty. Other days I wake up I feel ok and ""normal"" and still some days I wake up and feel very shy the whole day.

Is it normal to have different states like this or is it something I should consult with a doctor.",1.8303333333333358,3.418592128571433,3.2885714285714305,92.26476190476193,77.71428571428572,6.3809523809523805,18.80952380952381,7.1686216300943375,0.1219523809523806,259,5,58,3,6,85,41,70,0.031,0.711,0.258,0.943,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,2,6,4,3,0,0,18,11,7,0,6,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,5,6,10,3,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,5,6,38,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231982910841806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4754998119796248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258132789367824,0.0,0.18866536348750745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20734182162628567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796021317643115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621834212756425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307720378061693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005232134910189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5418007212919314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190307886671766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720289738082087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30417633411828016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057932784537224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,musicalclaire,2018/01/17,"need somewhere to release my built up stress/sadness   I am an 18 year old female from Canada that just needs a place to vent. I've had these feelings just slowly building over the past few months and it has gotten to the point that I am not eating much, not sleeping, and I feel physical pain due to all of this. I have not been to see a professional yet, but I know that I need to because it has gotten to such a bad point.

  I started to go through more difficult emotions dating back to October of 2016. My then boyfriend was always wanting me to perform sexual acts that I was not wanting to really do. I can remember a total of 3 times that I was in tears. He did not quite realize what was happening and I do not blame him for this. I do remember saying no but always being persuaded into doing it anyways. I finally decided to call it quits in January of 2017. We still spoke after but it got to the point that he would just want to talk to me so he could make me cry because it ""brought him joy to see me upset"". He then started rumours about me through school that were absolutely not true which just made me feel a lot worse. During this time, I just continued to hold my head high and try to focus on myself and my health. I really took to running because it relieved my stress immediately.

  Everything was going well up until a few weeks before grad. I got into a fairly large argument with my mom because she felt that I was doing nothing with my life. During this time I was finishing grade 12, just finished a half marathon, was playing guitar and dancing, working part time, and taking a dual-credit university course. I had a pretty big meltdown because I feel like I am always trying so hard but she did not see that. I ended up moving out for a week because I just needed my own space to process what had happened. I moved back, graduated, and my life was a lot better.

  Fast forward to around October and that is when things got worse. My biggest fear in life is disappointing the people I love. I ALWAYS put other's needs and feelings above my own. I've tried to focus and love myself first, but I always end up putting someone else's feelings in front of mine. Which is why I think I am felling the way I am right now. In October, I moved into my aunts house and started a relationship with someone that I have had feelings for, for a very long time. We had a previous ""relationship"" for a very short period of time, but timing just was not quite right. But I never stopped having feelings for him. I could not really even try to have feelings for someone else because I just had this gut feeling that I wanted to be with him. We were happily dating until last week when he decided that he needed a break because he is not is a good mental place at the moment which I completely understood. He said he does not want to try and make someone else happy if he can't be happy himself, which I totally get. But man did it ever hurt like a motherfucker. And it still does. I am going to come back to him in a moment, but I must explain another part of my story now.

  I have recently moved back home because, well to put it simply, my aunt was way too insane to live with. I am not going to go into full detail, but she falsely accused me of some things and told them to my parents. Thankfully they know that I would not do what she was accusing me of and they knew to take what she said with a grain of salt. She is also quite judgemental and I knew it was best for me to leave the situation to prevent further family damage. But I know I have disappointed my dad tremendously by doing so. He is the person I look up to the most and it absolutely crushed me to find out how disappointed he is. My family is also disappointed with my schooling. At this point in my life, I do not know what I want to be in school for. Originally, I wanted to take a year off, work, and maybe travel and then hopefully I would have a better mindset before heading to university. But I had such a big pressure to go to school right away that now I am just taking classes so everyone won't be so disappointed. I am for some unknown reason held to such a high standard in my family and it sucks.

  Back to the ""boyfriend"". I am at a complete loss right now. I have been eating 1 meal a day, I have no appetite, I've only been able to sleep for a few hours a time, and my chest feels painful because I feel so sad. I am mostly worried that he is going to do something hurtful to himself. I just want things to be better I want to be there supporting him. I truly love him with everything I have in me and it kills me inside to know he's in a bad place. I just want things to be better. 

  With all of this being said, (apologies on the long read) I do not know what to do. I feel so numb. There have been times where I have just wanted to drive my car off the road and I have had to physically stop myself. I just want to stop hurting. I want to feel like I am good enough for someone. I just want to be happy. ",3.997886904761902,4.899780475198416,5.2559603174603176,83.02792857142859,71.13293650793649,8.101269841269842,27.49523809523809,8.373815340225818,1.7911919047619045,3901,132,793,59,70,1301,368,1008,0.14,0.746,0.114,-0.9878,1,0,1,0,0,0,94.0,3,0,3,14,53,48,2,4,43,0,97,20,6,6,8,173,188,54,1,28,44,5,16,3,0,5,8,5,1,2,53,44,3,6,33,6,0,26,21,23,2,2,48,26,131,25,128,123,22,149,0,11,4,3,58,55,1,8,70,586,184,12,0.038668190109384284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184587532008464,0.16087515907566266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04054696887129455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034422887329727286,0.0,0.0,0.036330037486747464,0.1486672567459321,0.06457264713991198,0.23571769785515986,0.0,0.06580756347262097,0.0,0.04057987988205152,0.13679548725844806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03948454546451633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033309221863689426,0.08108572327317172,0.0,0.0,0.06174680668615457,0.0,0.042475191116833615,0.024937783680999658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767758749011392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913442401228761,0.09690693312782864,0.043496509276956696,0.06849707822005081,0.03995457704176154,0.0,0.025539974878861862,0.03497759174960093,0.0,0.03694911273839913,0.06950495186204582,0.0,0.10935878476301183,0.04351246426982595,0.2737251827578559,0.0552491254808277,0.037127526486980686,0.0423591121786301,0.03534202522664781,0.032891142753388204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02020253336146251,0.0,0.15383216483567694,0.06486608652779595,0.09277945211059972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838830562013919,0.1234890222105389,0.03463910313143135,0.0,0.07936943765068984,0.04110247788018696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817101317630415,0.03878734749122064,0.0384062377294816,0.03808037814400343,0.044617899695646,0.1241852917998786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0427806231870348,0.0,0.1275061561414959,0.031519735913732326,0.0,0.04094403007994865,0.0,0.0,0.10924994491399176,0.05667397344515456,0.0,0.0341447203006699,0.06844026285964959,0.032471540859346976,0.0,0.0,0.06574862488686913,0.10469865384197127,0.03658877643922204,0.0516226343228622,0.0,0.038847394322879474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038968440774883116,0.0,0.0,0.04528771691081997,0.030864580429257986,0.1643926662371074,0.02842556894937554,0.17203183801950395,0.02982329203066233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03710317129680858,0.0,0.04057576083008753,0.0,0.0,0.02940890103356715,0.08229136117299612,0.0,0.04293644904469356,0.08374776340169045,0.036913162856319036,0.026807654242654168,0.03376357210189252,0.12120008567872165,0.0,0.14621575326784308,0.0,0.0,0.03933945080652376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661663385711282,0.0,0.16451351977173087,0.03867865427079056,0.0,0.07431549821900392,0.039757339610415436,0.03818017276780331,0.08303033002261187,0.08760704296153649,0.13208969229605175,0.11034691116138116,0.030750496802489095,0.0,0.15653709114736428,0.09244062338918682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043464665816603305,0.0773922316276642,0.0,0.16381715998330754,0.029768661903047607,0.0,0.0,0.08210863195051334,0.0,0.06176093314218348,0.09698501513514714,0.08858856224824557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043880203897344865,0.0,0.0,0.11629466658648592,0.0310800264849147,0.0,0.03560047421753662,0.0,0.0,0.10275770922430698,0.024777014869009555,0.0,0.0,0.20292959352716627,0.0,0.0,0.03694911273839913,0.042961781998756665,0.1312658141880507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381061300143005,0.3193050053868445,0.06138601890546385,0.0930518690294293,0.0,0.0695346935425604,0.0,0.03489202712149295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0563018058711065,0.039269424054694815,0.07881237847472779,0.08240631842739861,0.0,0.0,0.0498020932880624
mentalhealth,alt891,2018/01/17,"Short attention span I'm 19 and I have serious problems focusing on one thing. I've dealt with this basically my whole life. A lot of things contribute to it, including my hypersensitivity to sound and constant overthinking. When I was in the third grade, my teachers had to put headphones on me while we took tests so I could stay focused. I've always had problems with school and only ended up coasting through all twelve years through memorizing, taking lots of extra time to complete homework assignments, and a lot of luck. 

Now, I know I'm not an idiot. I've gotten the job done so it certainly isn't laziness. I just have trouble meeting demands fast enough, and I fear that's certainly going to become a problem for me heading into college. Is there a way for me to train myself without having to take any drugs? 

I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice any of you have to offer me.",5.136272189349112,6.973504165680474,5.888284023668637,76.00094674556215,69.4733727810651,8.513609467455622,32.526627218934905,9.057496981413335,3.0348721893491133,720,33,124,14,13,235,117,169,0.08900000000000001,0.812,0.099,0.385,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,0,0,6,10,1,1,7,0,12,3,1,0,3,29,21,10,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,6,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,7,0,2,7,1,17,3,24,12,7,20,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,8,89,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115274745369674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201921658249781,0.0,0.0,0.29468843266799344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953127926739913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145080125614166,0.15609678792628134,0.0,0.11532983822714812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782028104782835,0.0,0.0,0.16751362335724207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793790276966865,0.14925322146881878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254396735398574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209303044751047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824514652166287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334218235943091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938474959257318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202777398106927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684131380462306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788158777667533,0.10985908359209223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.414651194890849,0.0,0.1452099656553427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253697853484254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618891540687526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396216711639904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21721358243303232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192943922862,0.0,0.0,0.11467544184100688,0.08422869114491867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048685377530994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465596376117153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127084338460254,0.0,0.13924255324455087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261159384250164,0.0,0.0,0.093019666449787
mentalhealth,I_give_up_258,2018/01/17,"I can't feel anything anymore :( I used to be over emotional. But somewhere along the way that got switched off. I can't feel happiness, sadness, disgust, nothing. I just am... numb, monotone, dull. I used to have interests, but over the years, my routine has stabilized to basically eat, computer, and occasionally friends all day (as things I'm supposed to ""enjoy""). Everything that I do is my way of trying to get some excitement out of life, but I can't. 

I don't think I'm depressed, because I did have depression once - I was constantly sad and pessimistic. But right now I feel like I just don't care because nothing good could ever happen to me, and therefore I will stay in this state. I just need some excitement, but everything bores me. I have tried the classic ""try new hobbies!"" and ""hang out with friends!"" outlooks on life but they're not working (maybe I'm doing them wrong). 

I feel like I am living in sort of a ""dream state"" where stuff just happens and you don't feel anything. is this depersonalize or something? can I cure it?

--------

tldr - I am living a monotone life... because nothing excites me... because I am living a monotone life... etc (I am stuck in this loop). is this depersonalization? is it diagnosable and treatable? and if it's not, what do I do?",2.3680179761351354,5.040354882845191,3.562640632264064,85.2863536339687,81.76150627615063,6.218565008523169,28.93553386022005,7.526774132740827,1.9741091275375795,983,48,185,16,27,318,128,239,0.15,0.7290000000000001,0.121,-0.8439,0,0,1,0,0,0,71.0,0,1,1,1,7,21,1,0,6,0,29,7,0,3,2,41,47,16,0,3,14,0,5,2,2,1,6,0,0,0,12,11,1,0,6,1,0,1,8,9,0,0,4,5,29,12,21,40,4,23,0,5,0,0,4,11,0,5,8,125,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072663648954926,0.0,0.0,0.17801410389252315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637350700069577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027705672229604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168833073178896,0.0,0.08635752921957886,0.0,0.0,0.06975471278537733,0.0,0.18631732940622267,0.10978084820924662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067541304039642,0.0,0.12166624550891085,0.0,0.0,0.12062778739403493,0.0,0.09783755836636532,0.0,0.0,0.19441575146842136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734465349796957,0.15454007175845072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712939906680166,0.0,0.05650950903225298,0.0,0.0,0.09072007547136726,0.0865060038633998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19129232482861075,0.11513909157059896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055884446980777,0.10568372315793507,0.0,0.2865236768644707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866197526275642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019979912471797,0.0,0.10446229182485044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113493673306005,0.0,0.0,0.11518763070357856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923686589983546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326740209211933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528493016072178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381814060409276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718571724848798,0.06930501835989555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22030207538136304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683225927646613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170588102626158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874228816952497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825676169046273,0.0,0.06965195379544059
mentalhealth,trepidwhlr,2018/01/17,"Emergency, need help!! I am renting out a room to a woman who is obviously off her medications. It's gotten progressively worse, and I don't have her family's contact information. If she talks about harming herself or others, can you call the police? What's the process for me as the homeowner? Her situation is very unsettling for me and my other roommate since she's getting progressively worse about the stories she tells us about people messing with her and coming after her, and she's showing it by physically by screaming and crying. Again, I'm not sure who I should connect her with, since she has no interest in giving me her family's contact number or talking to me about her meds. ",8.084750830564781,7.936298294573648,8.611096345514955,66.14860465116283,62.178294573643406,11.402436323366555,37.80841638981174,10.914260884657429,4.337730011074198,556,25,92,13,7,186,83,129,0.17,0.7609999999999999,0.069,-0.9301,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,6,0,8,1,0,0,2,19,14,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,1,7,9,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,24,2,17,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,28,4,0,4,2,73,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030855860997365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689806009273046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548036603187268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698577977705753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248922180302557,0.18818137296131152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314866830759874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789744357382573,0.19761773191320725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454554311622128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599757874600066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32454293158897096,0.22050005787738275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488518563418285,0.0,0.0,0.3153433949162636,0.17145870612110298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23596488757047704,0.0,0.0,0.16185841528582312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39982210120877776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HolsteinQueen,2018/01/17,"Started a new antidepressant and experiencing serious food cravings, how can I better handle these? I have been having the strongest of food cravings. I went from not needing to eat too much in the day, and mostly grazing; to feeling the need to be eating something at almost all times. I have gone through four boxes of Triscuits and a whole box of minute rice in less than a week, and this isn't including other foods as well. What can I do to help subdue and/or control these cravings until I can see my doctor next? ",8.267346938775509,7.529011448979593,7.707061224489795,74.71651020408162,62.06122448979593,9.47265306122449,35.926530612244896,8.238735603445708,2.873650612244899,414,16,73,4,5,130,73,98,0.014,0.856,0.13,0.8796,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,6,0,10,6,0,2,1,13,17,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,5,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,3,3,7,2,15,13,5,12,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,7,57,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743429851686045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539834702100922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527577641436006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228459498211373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820586585010706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35630980134504003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803371758959909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6315925336549273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670023492773067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798865919462638,0.2581962308431609,0.0,0.1681536008118373,0.185164742482766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874071689668388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403605499593416,0.0,0.0,0.12323381260919465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015231769081192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965811289876598,0.0,0.1565430793992438,0.16139890957873915,0.0,0.1943842192072852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DramaticSolution,2018/01/17,"Mental Health I am new to reddit, but I came to reddit and to this subreddit specifically to help, talk to, or aid anyone who needs help with a mental health issue. I'm not 100% sure how this works but, reply if you need to talk. ",2.182659574468083,3.824398276595748,3.80526595744681,88.70875000000002,76.87234042553192,6.402127659574468,16.00531914893617,7.1686216300943375,-0.17891063829787246,177,2,38,2,4,59,33,47,0.049,0.807,0.14300000000000002,0.6865,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,12,5,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,7,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,22,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481145901729018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532282308679674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4706861259336922,0.0,0.0,0.2968060845285693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310892002899685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462481428850254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283378665177954,0.0,0.2138342390109531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086715047930241,0.0,0.0,0.3559137554369389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118540934314465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsIvanaSmith,2018/01/17,"What It’s Like To Have OCD and How To Understand It I've been struggling with OCD for a little while now. I'm not aware of when it started or why it's here, but I've recently been in therapy trying to fix the problem as much as I possibly can. When you first tell people that you've been struggling with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder it can be hard for them to understand why it's so hard for you to stop doing the compulsions. Its hard to explain it, but I'm going to try... http://www.obviouslytwinning.com/what-its-like-to-have-ocd-and-how-to-underand-it/",6.4389,8.820729690000004,5.569000000000003,77.39950000000002,67.1,9.0,27.5,9.516144504307137,2.4795000000000003,459,15,80,10,8,138,62,100,0.199,0.784,0.017,-0.9481,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,1,6,4,0,2,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,13,15,11,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,3,4,1,16,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,9,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010649273891631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851449721347662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992290876740572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469221366742603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060128181834014,0.17499486452200294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835093970970776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104551432498895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968350357961048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167068424475996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239623459266604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358263421095557,0.0,0.0,0.14597324744875312,0.0,0.3650592327469336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260791742982685,0.0,0.19967008315529453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370836007933811,0.0,0.0,0.3635290902862541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150983171099281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VagrantValmar,2018/01/17,"Why do I HATE kids so much? Not that I don't like them, I mean actual hate which makes me wish I could hit them and stuff. I've read a little about possible causes and the most likely one seem to be that me as a kid hated being a kid and felt useless (still do) and that I didn't get along much with other kids, mostly adults and basically that other kids treated like shit (I was fat, 100% socially and ugly).

I truly truly hate them. If I someone says the word hate I think of children. I find them disgusting and repulsive, I can't even touch or be near a kid without feeling extremely uncomfortable. Pregnant women's bellies are disgusting to me. I despise children with all my heart.
My gf gets pissed off whenever we talk about kids bc I hate them so much and she loves them, even though I try not to say the horrible things I think about children in front of her.

Anyway, I know this isn't normal and that there's something definitely wrong with me. Any help? 

Sorry for my bad english.",3.700757575757578,5.091088570707072,4.635777777777778,85.33700000000002,72.38383838383838,7.704242424242422,25.32121212121212,8.238735603445708,1.4674945454545458,779,24,158,12,15,253,120,198,0.249,0.6459999999999999,0.105,-0.9879,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,6,0,11,19,11,0,7,0,12,5,4,2,1,36,31,15,0,4,5,0,3,3,1,0,1,2,0,12,11,14,1,0,8,1,0,1,7,14,0,1,3,5,32,5,18,23,6,6,0,1,0,1,28,4,2,5,4,108,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.11018729953887488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678505998770772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427806594558977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599328006844875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901522513096526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491566192515444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709246423334264,0.0,0.1084146785233054,0.0,0.10320090417693667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798529915572772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6688722980269401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380305513061044,0.07568354683934563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062054313137316464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549151513902668,0.11316900225924592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190885282990328,0.0,0.07537064590879497,0.0,0.0,0.1229959160714938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490132694863953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063126774739096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651311781475705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729301897832154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129440677916501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795867131866613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027922204003041,0.0,0.0,0.11590409724348755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510110573787324,0.09567125212297163,0.0869263378323788,0.0,0.12639743208551932,0.0,0.0,0.09017287637323697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292589566805639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075560369041608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501471997637046,0.14470083821677598,0.1109369520422016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666086266903785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188688181879307,0.0,0.1298449661088079,0.10884459603920182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234531996842636,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,apalm1341,2018/01/18,"Severe Depression Hey all. I have been struggling with severe depression for over a year and am wondering about different treatment options. I would appreciate if people here could provide information on different treatment options for severe depression and important links to sites about them such as research that supports their safety, effectiveness...etc... I would like to know ALL of the different treatment options there are for this and I mean literally ALL. Also, I am really looking for something to help me out asap. Are there any treatment options out there that usually provide relief from depression within seconds, mins, hours, and/or days and not weeks or months that are also proven to be safe and effective without any big health risks. Things I know of are ketamine, ECT, TMS, rTMS, DBS, VNS, TDCS, laser therapy, medication, supplements/natural medicine. Is there anything out there like ketamine or ECT that can provide quick relief but doesn't have as much risks and will last for a long time like months or years and/or will cure the depression completely cause I have read that people don't really know about the long term effects of ketamine yet, ketamine only lasts for like days to weeks from what I read, and I am worried about the memory issues that could result from ECT.",9.387416350465678,10.238875206278028,7.873991031390138,69.16285960676097,59.269058295964136,11.166471196964476,38.230079337702655,10.891193690592663,4.492360745084512,1053,47,158,24,13,317,124,223,0.12,0.767,0.113,-0.5994,3,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,15,16,0,3,6,0,22,2,0,4,3,41,29,16,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,9,2,0,0,4,8,0,1,1,1,12,8,31,21,5,27,0,5,1,0,5,8,0,9,23,109,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612984251207062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716207302244887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299044662065365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360009325648044,0.0,0.0,0.10573865594144602,0.0,0.0,0.16104004710359388,0.0,0.0,0.1300790137718302,0.0,0.4343071150678447,0.0,0.0,0.31609841146712225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247371676500836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107198174758144,0.0,0.0,0.06759721344124821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931632450570199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526055098081892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662725450353445,0.1644114093880248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19707965141247288,0.0,0.0,0.17849705509016522,0.08468807943533786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985453957034057,0.0,0.1015951402180591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099402553476125,0.0,0.0741358980039422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670049775663193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398325236126553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201753342074236,0.0,0.1292133901438821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417932804915166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763877959623601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542966847587906,0.0,0.0,0.11444268103549113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153300548692436,0.0,0.06699984672021253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880608434885853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107134391555892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179057860965013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721520327273264,0.10936685040612726,0.0,0.10241744049440968,0.0,0.1432810117467198,0.0,0.0,0.12988738818076387
mentalhealth,KittyMcBite,2018/01/18,"Hearing people cough enrages me. For about 5 years now, I feel a surge of rage and unreasonable emotions when I listen to someone cough. It happened less than an hour ago. A coworker that sits by me choked on her water and wouldn't stop coughing. I was not particularly stressed or angry before this happened, but as soon as she started coughing I became so angry I couldn't contain it. I know its not her fault and I didn't say anything but I couldn't sit there and listen to her cough. I wanted to smack her in the head. I just got up and went to the bathroom to cool down. Does this happen to anyone else? What could it be? I do suffer from mild depression, diagnosed in 2010 and have had A LOT of anxiety all my life but this is just weird. ",1.939,4.1718869000000005,3.1780000000000013,90.089,80.0,5.6000000000000005,22.666666666666664,6.742157984588678,0.5978666666666661,585,19,120,6,15,189,101,150,0.179,0.764,0.058,-0.9624,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,2,1,6,1,11,9,1,0,1,25,23,14,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,9,6,1,2,2,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,5,6,19,1,20,13,3,16,0,2,0,0,9,5,0,2,8,87,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703068521436953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414744993270814,0.0,0.0,0.13175373753455955,0.19306748426474868,0.15506077589007514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033895659922218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044499499682798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229337466956198,0.19125117761987984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489523681927698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740801132898308,0.2119569406661656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952752191006256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070365532730132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4998806666630617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338222154468987,0.0,0.21237285448599008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18556432653987012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355549300049026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309277271236336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601953537845272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063274442391962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984607580161022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965503731618566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337081312051322,0.0,0.0,0.15753484160929299,0.21584445446637074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114013713188373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467530502805004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134191349581384
mentalhealth,Randomaccount256,2018/01/18,"How do you deal with this? This is a throw-away account due to the fact that many of my friends, and my girlfriend browse Reddit. I'm not entirely sure how to start this off except for the fact that I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm a college student nearing my last year, and this semester has started out exceptionally rough for me. I've always suffered from depression starting as far back as middle school and high school, and pretty much connected it with the fact that I was extremely over weight (280lbs in High School). At my heaviest, it got to the point where I was physically nauseous all the time. I couldn't eat out with my family, or my girlfriend. I would shake, sweat, and throw up eating in public and pretty much ate alone in the comfort of my own home for months. I was dating a girl for over a 1 1/2 while going to counseling, and working out and losing the weight. Eventually, I got down to 220 lbs, and my symptoms disappeared. Fast forward a few years, and the girlfriend was gone, I got extremely depressed and while in college my Freshman year I steadily gained all of my weight back. I am now sitting at my heaviest of 300 lbs, and all of my previous symptoms have returned but in full force, and worse. I can't eat in public, I can't go places with my girlfriend without feeling sick, and I can't even sit in class without feeling like i'm going to throw up. I ended up having to leave a class early today, and ditch one altogether. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I physically vomit before class, and sometimes have to leave in the middle or not attend at all due to how sick I feel. When I get back to my room, all of my symptoms subside, and I honestly have no idea what to do. I feel stuck, and hopeless and I don't see any other way out then to just end it all. I feel like I can't talk to my girlfriend about this without her leaving me (We've only been together for 2 months), because who wants to be with someone who can't go outside without getting sick, especially when they have all of their schooling and work to deal with, and I feel like i'm going to lose my degree. I have no idea where to turn. 


Edit - Girlfriend left me as of tonight as well, so that's probably not going to help much.",6.398538433111602,5.635653416851442,6.626111419068737,81.02664680339987,65.82926829268294,9.379194382852921,32.76062453806357,8.472884824447931,2.3622881744271997,1765,63,361,21,24,569,204,451,0.114,0.826,0.061,-0.9495,0,1,0,0,0,1,53.0,0,1,2,5,18,15,0,1,16,0,28,15,1,4,12,72,60,38,0,3,13,0,10,3,7,1,7,0,2,1,18,31,7,0,9,0,1,13,17,7,1,1,12,11,49,8,74,45,14,83,0,6,1,0,20,39,0,2,33,249,67,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485357510579688,0.0,0.0,0.0601373623189581,0.0,0.0,0.04914847520751945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790335561919512,0.16672163810618176,0.0,0.04405726988042778,0.0,0.061499446381581425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902166103352246,0.12449816195978727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186157683101868,0.0,0.0,0.12802578205289775,0.0,0.0,0.04773598148191535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813304697299599,0.0,0.21926199419713965,0.15489666160719054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583834595410874,0.0,0.07551986742388897,0.0,0.2464482580206851,0.0,0.17341122020912522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048443420191977386,0.1527218940200943,0.0724962381660743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317602460050384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039719639096945314,0.05891256890538645,0.0,0.22958168177084504,0.07852539613072951,0.0,0.0,0.10592758057579657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617111747291326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327401033724792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537607588154394,0.0,0.2125174264135012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897441083682957,0.05496727235639328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755104507477343,0.0,0.1366436835483117,0.0,0.0,0.14705631498198427,0.07792308363825373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925786622612556,0.05759264195590023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612371230001117,0.0,0.0714803640255398,0.0,0.1534667184633415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811694177251723,0.22535959581936224,0.0,0.05809072153666276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042143273500950026,0.0,0.06850685075933957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861284108332002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426287974510684,0.05736735990576496,0.0,0.2640290477022187,0.06498257846850004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786763951613281,0.0,0.10523197361035544,0.0,0.0736528962393201,0.05134103836699387,0.0,0.0,0.13962534111146566
mentalhealth,richmondmooper,2018/01/18,"Just had a coffee and now I feel like I'm going mad, Help! Hey Everyone, this might be a weird thing to say (and possibly wrong), but I feel like my meds are having a negative reaction to the coffee I just drank. I take Lexipro (generic) for depression and Focalin (generic) for ADD. With the exceptions of a few times during my college years, I have never felt any serious side effects with my meds. Cut to today where I drank a coffee for the first time in a while, and now I feel like I'm going into overdrive. I feel jittery, my hands are shaking, and my mind feels like it's screaming. I've never experienced something like this before. Has anyone else ever had a crazy reaction to coffee this way before, and when do the jitters end?",5.475416666666668,5.951059597222222,6.301388888888893,78.38250000000002,67.6111111111111,8.9,30.583333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.471241666666667,578,21,107,9,9,191,86,144,0.16399999999999998,0.7190000000000001,0.117,-0.8446,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,7,13,2,1,11,0,10,3,1,1,3,26,23,9,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,10,2,0,7,0,0,3,3,8,0,1,5,10,13,5,13,16,1,21,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,18,72,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595574572690184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866338997450094,0.14457800475232946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401386905461273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153290536521336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178745157251302,0.0,0.1249765057541002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763689518304028,0.0,0.13483118173083472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35673280595039425,0.4032196892475596,0.13548223218307684,0.0,0.0,0.12002322430081318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038562255574462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457922123638256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446821067618781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134700798665848,0.0,0.0,0.14968933733733442,0.14247509352464735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765663149031855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590738688469983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221178305537563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108628964688571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609285421726664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093743410462656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455807506059714,0.0,0.1337503538870372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120020056959784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427537388096113,0.0,0.09086652686683236
mentalhealth,VoxAdActa,2018/01/18,"How do I get the medication I need? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and prescribed Seroquel, about four months ago. I was using a free clinic at the time, but I got a big raise and no longer qualify for their services.

That's great, except I don't know how to go about getting more of my medicine. The nearest psychiatrist is over an hour away from me, and too expensive for me to afford regularly. I may be too rich for a clinic, but I'm too poor to afford $100-$200 more than maybe once a month. Psychologists are close and cheaper, but can't prescribe anything. 

What do I do? I'm terrified of running out of this medicine; it's saved my marriage and probably my life. I'm a real person for the first time in my life now. Can anyone offer any advice?",4.086484045755569,5.329598768211922,5.1583383503913325,82.52963275135463,71.25165562913908,8.139915713425648,29.621312462372064,8.575989854853784,2.1860940397351,598,24,119,10,11,197,99,151,0.093,0.7959999999999999,0.111,0.5632,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,8,4,0,0,10,0,12,7,0,3,0,20,22,10,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,1,0,4,2,3,0,0,2,3,0,15,5,21,17,2,18,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,8,81,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374181668479287,0.17574955467424638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482668794626204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863117826911914,0.0,0.16315482556482602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627606451507145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012343375977927,0.0,0.0,0.227228342986714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686437188989833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071700811858748,0.0,0.11267830873272988,0.0,0.15857026676003688,0.21858735847185654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19525063739607385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896100770675927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800802200450561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918338189909116,0.0,0.0,0.19973066847415066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165057331618953,0.0,0.0,0.14701064635224145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21114526752346055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731169514318733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137627105855348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256684554415157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312192987210819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17123690766962027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,user1444,2018/01/18,"Had the most fun in years by trying to force myself to be uncomfortable rather than being subjected to it. My car was down last week and my mom had to run errands so I went with her.  

She wanted to stop at the casino first, then go to the mall downtown, ect.  Basically a bunch of places with tons of people, which is a recipe for a PTSD type of breakdown for me.  

After about an hour my anxiety was pretty high and I was ready to ask her to just take me home, I hated being in elevators with people, I hated walking through vast crowds of people it was too much.  

So we get on an elevator again and I guess I came to the conclusion that if I was going to be uncomfortable there should be a genuine reason for it, or something...  

Next floor a business suit guy steps in the elevator with us, and on impulse as soon as he did I started speaking as though I was mid conversation with mom.  

""Well it is getting better, every time I go to the bathroom now there is less blood and the stool is more solid than the time before, the doctor says it's a good sign but wants to do a couple more prostate exams before he's sure.""  

I saw the guy tense up and like pretend he didn't hear and all of my anxiety disappeared instantly for reasons I'm not sure I can put to words yet.  

When he got off my mom slapped my arm and chastised me in a joking kind of way, she obviously found it sort of amusing anyway.  

So 3 or 4 more times when it was just me her and someone else, walking down a hallway or in an elevator or whatever I'd just start talking and carefully minding the line between extremely uncomfortable and just offensive, I don't think I really crossed it though I suppose it's debatable if making others mildly uncomfortable for a minute is offensive or not.  

I guess the point is that instead of letting random senseless anxiety consume me, I pushed to make things uncomfortable and in doing so I destroyed all of the anxiety I was feeling.  

There was just something so very freeing about willingly diving head first into discomfort and awkwardness, I felt a sense of control.  

It was odd because if I mispronounce a word in front of a stranger by accident that will literally HAUNT me for weeks, yet by setting out to put myself in these absurdly uncomfortable situations had absolutely no mental repercussions on me other than enjoyment in the moment.  No intrusive thoughts about it later, no embarrassment, no regret, nothing like that.  
  
I'm not saying making others uncomfortable was the enjoyable part, though it was kind of amusing.  

I enjoyed taking control of the level of awkward and since it was deliberate rather than accidental as usual it didn't even feel awkward in the slightest.    ",8.084083533653846,7.24968849609375,8.384140625,70.02660456730771,62.4765625,11.392548076923076,37.465745192307686,10.64471489884176,3.9837257211538457,2138,91,382,45,26,707,260,512,0.185,0.725,0.09,-0.9946,0,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,2,0,0,6,34,29,5,5,33,0,38,5,4,7,5,75,71,38,0,9,19,3,3,2,0,3,1,4,1,2,24,23,0,3,9,6,2,16,10,11,1,2,26,8,44,19,77,36,11,71,0,1,1,1,24,27,0,13,28,290,68,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25656611622833303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838416437294614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051111399570067835,0.0,0.14269258108266836,0.0,0.0,0.07415447452894353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589684212312576,0.085486010023553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807957202784564,0.0,0.09277338018586948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581935659756279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004210297989258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537911972333599,0.0,0.0706433960673658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478954344618057,0.0,0.08050476729542723,0.0,0.0,0.14263777008526102,0.0,0.09193219288462454,0.0,0.0,0.08761155945107013,0.0,0.14295388051993507,0.07032557371033647,0.06705885460823115,0.0,0.18473040117902095,0.1660403276327489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556001898285738,0.08604960676114957,0.0,0.09449990009055252,0.0,0.0,0.08858730658463128,0.08410380866289502,0.0,0.08257086509869935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746242382544065,0.0,0.06834522105419948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573763902830844,0.0,0.0819252896815755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790243883320394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449647884697327,0.0,0.08465998872897727,0.2945962839074583,0.0,0.0,0.061636042851172926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917057240860085,0.0,0.0,0.08045195718113296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079643652708458,0.0,0.1743836046253659,0.0,0.08760063504520317,0.0,0.07926103827493737,0.0,0.0,0.08530095140648979,0.0,0.0,0.09801082783455324,0.16857564292152194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053713533296852654,0.17241414532390806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333545120583918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935781110714885,0.09424578306788564,0.0,0.0,0.07104196584751499,0.12909662592478235,0.0,0.0,0.11869246232423444,0.0,0.0,0.07009853885935917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15804666234994447,0.0,0.12608266638133522,0.06739178546088083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570318205694957,0.053724769868642185,0.247133145537158,0.06656391057050731,0.14667284402395167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692554729580205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085573591083524,0.0,0.09234390217749458,0.06918126571750037,0.09890842104498968,0.06655260442558708,0.13451150258637434,0.0,0.07538711641032224,0.07772555919818107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539937118136128
mentalhealth,purplespacepudding,2018/01/18,"New diagnosis Hi I've been newly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and I will be seeing a therapist soon, but meanwhile I was wondering if some of you with same disorder could give me some advices or share their experience and also if you have any book suggestion! ",8.652585034013605,9.747036571428572,9.56367346938776,55.587278911564646,60.83673469387754,14.696598639455786,40.82312925170068,13.5591,6.712259863945577,228,12,34,10,3,78,41,49,0.113,0.8320000000000001,0.055,-0.4389,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,13,9,7,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,1,3,4,3,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,6,2,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24654146578419414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20176162117876945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157044277735772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014384266555091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560758921662644,0.0,0.0,0.5783078708175992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24679463510943714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24202603375565745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24366977494830586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029579204134336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010478461309388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929359744891805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736050649551387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mister_chainsaw,2018/01/18,"I think it might be time to switch something up. I've been anxious really as long as I remember, but I wouldn't say I was depressed until I started sophomore year of high school (3 years ago). 

I feel like I've tried everything I can, but I'm never happy. I workout 6 times a week for at least 2 hours, and sometimes that helps but it only lasts for a few hours. When I try to be social and outgoing, I just want to be alone, and when I'm alone, I want to be social again. I've started talking to a therapist around November, and while he gives me some good advice I don't really think its tailored for depression. The first day I went, I listed some things that I wanted to work on, which was mainly stress and depression, and he pretty much ignored what I said about depression. I can't tell if he's kind of working at it indirectly or hes trying to solve the wrong problem. The only I haven't tried is antidepressants, but I'd prefer not to because being addicted to anything makes me very uncomfortable. Should I try and find another therapist?
",5.8684285714285735,5.6639075095238125,6.687380952380952,78.28678571428574,66.76190476190476,10.047619047619053,31.309523809523807,9.725611199111238,2.7626666666666657,827,29,164,16,12,275,128,210,0.196,0.6859999999999999,0.118,-0.9665,0,2,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,6,12,0,1,6,0,17,1,0,1,1,35,31,19,0,8,8,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,9,8,0,1,6,1,0,1,6,8,0,1,5,3,22,4,23,18,6,27,0,4,0,0,12,6,0,6,21,103,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403672436130664,0.0,0.10222043938612144,0.09272751235705097,0.0,0.0,0.21668195051947614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968922733939504,0.0,0.11817577602340062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608238656260922,0.09312212525612364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376726267757622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746265626435946,0.0,0.3603903291380297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401374107901647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528922817094087,0.07473103482045547,0.0,0.0,0.09560861261974367,0.08897839062596513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003482616390352,0.0,0.08773912218135571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135575858676952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701156542102111,0.1105227032794724,0.0,0.0,0.20603302153936626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893176242782364,0.0,0.08526840783816883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110554114155924,0.0,0.0,0.09257362215914976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982577279787305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097115918800528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689794777599497,0.0,0.08067912227777943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911619147227882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642260279975303,0.0,0.10009446763248908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402743872766126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849897932497805,0.0,0.09950490966826844,0.08318743246318219,0.0,0.10586754729073436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326667858896145,0.0,0.08053133474509028,0.10345868369683713,0.0,0.1480822964454724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982660128014293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407888889647062,0.09143085115904756,0.0,0.0,0.2429128416920884,0.06949603165010022,0.1340554765208317,0.0,0.0,0.1219939954845847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551053539924988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631146829245769,0.18509919466655864,0.0,0.08390917085749275,0.0,0.0,0.09697144261051456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230982131900886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437098579140545,0.0,0.13472654762411654
mentalhealth,Dhoy1,2018/01/18,"Bipolar bear: how is this not an awareness mascot? ""only you can take your lithium""",0.8550000000000004,1.788609000000001,1.6058333333333332,90.22875,125.66666666666666,1.5,23.75,3.1291,0.16599999999999993,65,3,10,0,4,20,15,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.711148382638168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7030419460253547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vikreddit09,2018/01/18,"My mother has created huge piles of stuff She has accumulated clothes and all kind of stuff which is just lying in her room and nobody has even touched in years. And this accumulation has made the house so messy and difficult to take care of. How to deal with this situation?

Tried many times to convince her to let go the useless stuff but she gets way too over protective about it and starts crying and literally have a mental break down.",5.575100401606426,7.13827520481928,5.443554216867472,80.67368473895584,68.03614457831326,8.90682730923695,27.086345381526108,9.2995712137729,2.07034297188755,354,11,69,7,6,110,63,83,0.133,0.7929999999999999,0.073,-0.7581,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,1,12,13,9,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,3,13,11,1,12,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19727349203762246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21253703080256064,0.0,0.19947720802531932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779672756726002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010892792341838,0.0,0.10996345562947177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325869931638345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20148754904671115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978541687173784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830826348420831,0.0,0.19616604594958345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498998072822585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21748815660597012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695151121683202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6644909929746848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145478586938422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282416900622072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313653719257883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358144187121128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459966343744115
mentalhealth,glitterrbugg,2018/01/18,"Self harm relapse I haven’t /really/ self harmed in several years aside from scratching/pinching, however spent 30 minutes tonight disassembling a razor to get to a blade and the feeling didn’t go away. Usually I can ride out the feeling but I acted on it tonight. I feel like everything’s in a downward spiral and as much as I don’t want to start self harming again, it felt so good to do so tonight and I’m afraid I might start doing it regularly again. ",5.224,6.138104733333333,5.731111111111113,80.69000000000003,68.33333333333334,9.111111111111112,35.0,9.2995712137729,3.152333333333333,366,18,71,7,6,118,61,90,0.104,0.757,0.139,0.2759,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,11,18,8,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,3,3,4,0,0,3,4,6,2,12,14,1,18,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,10,42,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142865889373611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311623991963444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30906447194532705,0.14555814867662362,0.19563075336866867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645031316170453,0.0,0.11579511078502328,0.17089478583982473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954134816351053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614522703603176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977877587534386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052666740089094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6376631508342707,0.2301780942511601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884288297916889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440046420719287,0.0,0.120176292495388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120751570531944
mentalhealth,Davidthenormie,2018/01/18,"[Help] Skipped school so I didn't get bullied today, and now I feel like killing myself. Like title says, I skipped, now I feel like killing myself, like something is weighing down on me, I think I might do it... If it gets rid of the pain...

[EDIT]  Thank you so much for all your guy's help! ",0.2671670702179192,2.5140503898305084,1.0971428571428596,102.20881355932205,87.47457627118642,3.371428571428572,20.292978208232448,3.1291,-0.7535394673123488,219,7,51,0,7,67,43,59,0.126,0.601,0.273,0.8047,0,0,1,0,0,2,17.0,0,2,0,0,4,8,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,7,10,4,2,1,1,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,11,5,4,8,2,5,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,7,30,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154191170636152,0.2988856872646825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185825754047008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712747645632312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804265396161157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628676328028189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087917375646304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191376889235015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377611206302205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22258913445310774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635346334543802,0.0,0.21170785810098444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104195124192328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259078059343127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403823233475431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828429766423447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IUsedAFarcaster,2018/01/18,"[Serious] Hi, Reddit. I'm scared. The last time I went to a doctor about depression was in 7th grade, I was 12. I was given a couple options and ended up picking counseling, but my mother was so overprotective of me when I said I thought I was depressed that I chose to lie to her and tell her I was fine, it was just a phase.

Fast forward 5, almost 6 years later. I'm 17, turning 18 later this year, and everything has only spiraled down the tube. I've only become increasingly depressed as the years have gone by and it's come to a point where I know I need help, but I'm scared. I'm terrified. 

All I've ever been is depressed. All the while I've been growing up I've just been depressed, and I don't know who I am outside of depression. I want help, I want medication to make me not feel like a black hole in human form. But I'm terrified of who I am outside of this because this is me. 

All I want to know is should I be scared? Am I going to be someone I don't know at all or will I just be me but less 'lazy' and unstable. I just need some support is all. 

TL;DR I've been depressed for far too long and I'm afraid of getting on medication because I don't know what or who not-depressed me is.",1.1905689538043482,2.832455519531252,3.454775815217392,90.1180774456522,79.7421875,6.327173913043477,23.630434782608692,7.255503002510835,0.8446415081521743,927,32,209,12,23,319,124,256,0.211,0.7170000000000001,0.073,-0.9921,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,10,15,0,4,9,0,29,3,0,2,6,43,57,17,0,6,11,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,1,10,8,0,0,7,0,0,7,4,12,0,0,16,3,30,3,23,36,9,30,0,7,1,0,12,11,0,5,15,133,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939777896191157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101987842428726,0.10962843072447206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550647696441227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983286786847422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6839621458756803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016001145463626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791775240083001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978926783240677,0.0,0.0,0.0892113840068903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050190467908439104,0.07091366610968702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186093690701809,0.0,0.05641357696563028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306809155449287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727623561114209,0.08091277496247673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849499661786321,0.0,0.0,0.08784482843212771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625897192425709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999450764014498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720484370121234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098830762640095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383583013282536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944220558091176,0.0,0.2981394075077624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410540644756223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126427287643172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676043181784585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880391099097846,0.057881183392983974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796988211379867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756440616578137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201800189142352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19176678278203765
mentalhealth,mw18582,2018/01/18,"Constantly afraid something bad is going to happen. How to get rid? My phone is silent. No sound. No vibration. I hate the sound of door bells. The red badge when you have a notification.

I am constantly afraid something is going to happen. And I am somehow the one involved or responsible. Something I did. Or didn't.

There is nothing rational to this to me. Nobody ever calls me, or harasses me, blames me. Yet every day the first thing that pops up is the question: Did something go wrong? Did work call? Due bills in the mailbox? Someone needing me and missing all their calls?

I don't get it. Anyone has something similar-- or ideas how to tackle this?

",1.5275738125802327,4.247691487804879,2.6680701754385967,87.46421052631581,93.47154471544715,5.191099700470688,23.54685494223364,6.8360192770164,1.207887804878049,515,21,93,8,19,164,78,123,0.182,0.8009999999999999,0.017,-0.9673,0,0,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,2,7,7,2,2,7,0,14,0,0,2,2,14,24,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,1,3,4,7,0,2,4,3,13,0,9,20,1,13,0,1,1,0,8,2,0,6,8,66,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074535047678652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203022916825092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413709069536543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114024976819195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292084680395926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033024450414238,0.12139513774383198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255591258991247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055359622536296,0.0,0.24565503617895254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25482213459702946,0.0,0.0,0.14225095641020508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265082394459435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068348352476972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825038103280254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763356221373228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140460003821586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208004866339765,0.5546060763931251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572155127033792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048932724948079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575308391044702,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,obh36,2018/01/18,"Just bored of life at the minute. Feel alone and have no motivation for anything. Hi, I'm 19 and I'm about 3 months into university. I had really bad anxiety and depression all through sixth form but now I feel  a different type of depression? I'm losing weight, I'm quite underweight now but I can't stomach food and the thought of eating makes me feel sick. I'm struggling to find the motivation to do the simplest things like getting out of bed or tidying up my room. Everything around me is a mess and I'm missing lectures because I just don't have any desire to be there. I just feel constantly weak and lethargic and my sleep is all over the place. Sometimes I will sleep and wake up after 5 hours sometimes after 12. I'm just stuck in a rut of waking up and being alone in bed for a day before going to sleep again and I don't know what to do",2.251982758620688,4.254501137931037,3.638606321839081,88.34515086206898,77.85057471264369,6.8787356321839095,24.66810344827586,7.8658589789855275,1.3057137931034486,674,24,141,11,16,221,101,174,0.257,0.7,0.043,-0.9891,1,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,10,10,0,1,9,0,13,12,6,3,2,34,31,13,0,1,7,0,5,1,0,1,3,0,3,0,2,13,3,1,9,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,3,5,11,1,26,25,3,22,0,4,0,0,1,12,0,1,10,86,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30333286878426663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958340640375593,0.0,0.11202528208307977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050665597772275,0.13036157988013333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227028223358488,0.0892677340043166,0.0,0.12460863407795066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582483207397924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444091218218788,0.0,0.2522550497571755,0.0,0.0,0.15299737932443458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984345209527636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316097520733554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961754314837302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338424113171519,0.0,0.17707437966099188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650822957860863,0.0,0.08322454539483785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421272131341908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047893542374761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343405598421612,0.07154260134762888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382756092722298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774903690445348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688605399526755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299737932443458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575569056465824,0.0,0.0,0.0938124458165582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4396336725966093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896634375975388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308963026722958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728743256652704,0.0,0.0,0.11625605076514005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832300899610976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tarasios,2018/01/18,"Complete lack of productivity, can't even force myself to do things This has been a growing issue for several years now. Whenever I try to do something productive like cleaning, studying, etc, I get completely drained. The more I try to force myself the worse I get drained. The drain feeling is a lot like a major depressive episode: I slowly lose my ability to do anything and eventually can't do anything at all.
These are things that I WANT to do.

I have previously been (clinically) diagnosed with:
Severe Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. 
Current Medication:
Escitalopram (25mg)
Wellbutrin (150mg)
Dexedrine Spansule (10mg)
(previously biphentin was tried but due to complete loss of appetite was stopped)

None of my medication has helped that specific problem, even with my depression and anxiety being helped decently. I am honestly also doubtful of the ADHD diagnosis, as this issue makes me unable to do ANYTHING after trying to force myself.

If anybody has experience with anything like this I would really appreciate the help!",7.907726879861713,10.116267404494387,8.311797752808989,59.85865600691447,63.15730337078652,11.76905790838375,42.34399308556612,11.51311941424646,6.024915643906658,850,51,117,28,13,280,110,178,0.181,0.6940000000000001,0.125,-0.8415,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,4,11,0,1,8,0,21,4,0,1,1,19,26,7,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,1,0,8,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,4,1,16,4,19,20,7,8,0,5,0,0,3,1,0,3,9,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687360141033176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941050065468087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106119588566365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680242941668083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35167657064981794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888927147333036,0.11347982629408515,0.0,0.0,0.12813833463533086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469224443979048,0.14769243244167804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093668446709823,0.0,0.0,0.05653201955785525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682710369883945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482181182316294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333909597775588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386697782497886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508131187055946,0.0,0.09505270057326973,0.0,0.0,0.0746307745833082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22526375801081716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069823841769794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716252120589987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526158851729481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607303076546602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347407259692887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855668515196352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036333040392479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594554665223655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393895196310982,0.07942313748566711,0.0,0.0,0.07199882080237467
mentalhealth,MJ-is-overrated,2018/01/18,"Did just have ADHD or am I bipolar as well? I consider myself somewhat level headed, but I sometimes I get irrationally angry. Is it bc of my ADHD or am I bipolar as well. (Not quite familiar with the symptoms if you’re bipolar)",2.930333333333333,4.957956200000002,5.579722222222222,75.09625000000003,75.8888888888889,7.166666666666668,31.25,8.07648339933343,2.7100000000000004,179,9,30,3,4,64,34,45,0.16699999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,5,1,0,0,8,6,6,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,7,2,4,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6535262480213102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205312042424262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790411500100515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28919218220583004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689096023406608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826014301110908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4889297801782752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,T-Rex_Turds,2018/01/18,"Feeling worthless I don’t feel like I can do life anymore. I don’t want to commit suicide, but I just feel completely worthless. I’m 26, I live at home with my parents, I have such severe anxiety that the thought of moving out scares me. I also have adhd and find work to be one of the hardest things ever. I can only manage to work about 4-5 hours a day before my mind just can’t focus anymore. Some days I can hardly work at all for lack of focus and motivation.  My days off I don’t feel like doing anything except sitting around. I don’t know what to do, my life is going absolutely no where.... I haven’t ever had a boyfriend and don’t feel like I ever will because of all the issues that I have. I just feel like staying in bed all day and crying because I’m such a worthless human being. ",3.707020810514788,4.199482385542171,5.294249726177437,83.98399233296827,71.5301204819277,7.000219058050384,27.13910186199343,6.574015621080383,1.175368674698796,620,20,127,4,11,211,90,166,0.184,0.706,0.109,-0.9402,1,0,0,0,0,3,18.0,0,0,0,4,12,8,0,1,6,0,21,2,0,1,7,33,33,6,1,2,5,1,7,4,0,1,2,0,2,1,4,7,0,0,10,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,2,7,20,4,18,28,5,19,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,1,12,91,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250717919646114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482642868955624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907115057763234,0.0,0.23519414561760055,0.0,0.0,0.09757922512260897,0.10555916473870182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456755507683608,0.0,0.10090076650339501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432631142997927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025187728914445,0.3058908557653067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217805642762536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35973825101261725,0.3388473187874275,0.0,0.0,0.10837773796729992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739035769369407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622219916729493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894295688750027,0.0,0.116775007026895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376416104418228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516712370471488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675096691106289,0.23172401710484405,0.0,0.10470615438649393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972952889503995,0.0,0.0,0.1260291762493382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035122075453728,0.09018357464469808,0.0,0.0,0.13166634322651954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871681957444935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339588865166902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638789744647658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970460034411047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877765926692658,0.0,0.0,0.09413733421973122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994011476530901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589776190521098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ccase21,2018/01/18,"Would appreciate any suggestions and guidance. After years of procrastinating, I've finally taken the first step and scheduled a therapy session. I have successfully managed my emotions and my anxiety up until this point but I'm tired of having to constantly work so hard and could use some extra help.

I'm reaching out because I want to know other people's thoughts about how to best prepare for an initial therapy session? What kind of information should I have data on (if anything) and what questions should I make sure I have the answers to? I often struggle with answering questions on the spot so I like to be as prepared as possible.

Also, following therapy sessions, what are some good journal prompts/subjects to write about to assist in processing the therapy session that had just occurred and it's effectiveness? I really want to make the most of this and so I'm just trying to make sure I'm prepared.

Thank you in advance!


TLDR: How do I best prepare for an initial therapy session and what can I journal about following sessions to help me process?",6.039706390328152,8.160969896373059,6.54717098445596,71.03958203799655,67.65284974093264,9.29174438687392,38.773402417962,9.725611199111238,4.405114956822106,862,50,132,20,15,280,112,193,0.048,0.715,0.237,0.991,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,7,12,10,0,1,8,0,13,1,0,7,2,41,29,19,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,3,1,14,9,30,21,6,18,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,7,8,100,23,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338284311499576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940923376528784,0.0,0.08933056353274205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609373248400133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118336892901216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450908512193277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261894762229831,0.0,0.09323325657180226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135322867815935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791845233316385,0.0,0.09932654062105613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794314576936314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460513062917662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654015153765136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160048130330076,0.06417505513252697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057049094419975424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23383944380470795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095527656344274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038765865698504,0.13164333142875653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616236168999117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480738718393044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207586259545153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201132030953732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750833362677108,0.6676970597970135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270423904167616,0.0,0.13421269160839192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792807919315137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085385792315514,0.0,0.0,0.13775076958672736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501169524307882,0.0,0.0,0.08295175995233066,0.0,0.0,0.07519759466978063
mentalhealth,spagheatball,2018/01/18,"it’s that time of the year i get seasonal depression starting around this time of year. i’m from northeastern US, so we aren’t getting too much sun right now. last year, i was scared of myself because of how much i seriously thought about ending it all. i was scared of being alone because i was afraid of what i might do to myself.
i’ve just noticed it kicking back up over the past couple weeks. and fuck, i hate it. i feel lost and i feel like everything is too real right now. everything is going on at once and i just need it to stop or slow down or something.
i haven’t been able to sleep well for the past few weeks either. of course i’ve been especially busy over the past few weeks as well, which doesn’t help my overall exhaustion. 
i can’t put my loved ones through this again. especially my SO. i thought this wouldn’t happen again because i was naive enough to think that happiness lasts forever. it’s all too real again and i feel like having a relationship makes things harder. 
my brain uses him as something to torture me with. 
every little missed call turns into convincing myself he doesn’t love me anymore because who could love me, right? i keep finding myself constantly thinking like this and i try to stop myself but it keeps getting harder and harder. it used to be a dull buzz in the back of my head that i could easily silence but now it’s almost too much to deal with. 
i know i’ve only felt like this for the past couple weeks, but now the happy memories feel duller and the memories of this feeling are much more than a distant past. it feels like this feeling has never stopped. ",3.147816711590295,5.187391081761007,3.7562668463611857,88.36033018867926,75.28930817610063,6.681221922731358,23.93575920934412,7.5804360353943165,1.0676249775381854,1276,40,255,17,28,402,162,318,0.101,0.768,0.131,0.8927,1,1,2,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,0,1,22,25,3,3,11,0,23,8,3,4,3,54,57,17,0,4,8,0,8,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,24,12,0,5,14,0,0,2,7,12,2,1,10,8,35,13,36,41,11,49,0,4,0,4,12,13,1,4,39,174,59,0,0.07483200599765331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493344454577906,0.07750339006137055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421324198982543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661635064449395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508238701626056,0.0,0.18246758516240494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353726712364501,0.07641184484345002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086681392629325,0.0,0.1194945353067582,0.1656003826178032,0.0,0.0,0.07714851232122373,0.06445269711336626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627894599779327,0.0773214660516835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304919253097681,0.0,0.1345083635901788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26486117477830384,0.16038000011059594,0.07185046098336798,0.0,0.06839509778576072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918098371795055,0.11728990366987925,0.0,0.042528753512721326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617369576722983,0.15932012375999866,0.0,0.07388111340462901,0.07679922718784529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015831622923962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302825050739636,0.0,0.0,0.0411257134702844,0.1219961451657621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279569109913796,0.07500132908300508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168797433895593,0.0,0.20261642114837985,0.0,0.04995094508348323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938493275966113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22004053875696108,0.05548698425435488,0.05771505627222711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519673481152454,0.0,0.0796936441350268,0.0507081039315471,0.05691311262055165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571780857136687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752268347663864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035041127274184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034156934502255,0.0,0.19171837274058515,0.0,0.0,0.1498397851052928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488604877743732,0.0,0.0,0.11521866835605267,0.0,0.0,0.052966479003360135,0.0,0.0,0.18768872330837388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971505966031944,0.0958986557186548,0.0,0.11881650789190693,0.08727028896056573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080601997052437,0.08139573397398417,0.0,0.0,0.09001368939329812,0.12926165329363948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401028856571941,0.0,0.13456592070904966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456807519639495
mentalhealth,BawndoLawndo,2018/01/18,"I Can Only Focus on my Internal Dialogue Every time I play a story driven videogame or watch a movie I'm reminded how I'm painfully bad at focusing. I'll be interested but something a character says reminds me of something else and I spark up a conversation with myself about it. 

It's gotten so bad that I'll be thinking ""yes okay focus. She said that. He said that. Hey, that reminds me..."" And a mere moment later I'm pondering about a completely different topic with no comprehension of the words being said right in front of me on the screen. Like clockwork, I can always expect to be fighting my own conscience whenever I walk into class or a movie theater.

I must get poor sleep because I'm tired and a little depressed all the time. I only have anxiety when I'm forced out of my comfort zone. I really miss the ability to get lost in a movie or game and be fully present in a group of people like I used to be as a child. 

I just want to know what's wrong so I can fix it. Really and comments are welcome. ",3.369411764705884,4.879218637254908,5.173676470588237,80.67904411764708,73.41176470588233,8.237254901960785,27.946078431372552,8.841846274778883,2.2768490196078432,798,31,154,16,16,273,121,204,0.192,0.6709999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9372,1,0,2,0,2,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,7,15,1,0,15,2,12,3,1,2,2,24,30,14,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,0,1,8,9,0,0,3,2,1,3,1,8,0,0,6,6,19,7,23,17,2,20,0,3,2,0,14,11,0,3,8,94,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651769282820087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551154666808453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739798007970981,0.10001431064576813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720221432283572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131150067704126,0.0,0.0,0.17141610677607752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705773476444366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823433947778666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143748355173205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016746462414056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603106438266284,0.16443920642840135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909956849131772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495621661407169,0.1745798859124352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374407112853395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021228337403167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401131484675246,0.4681986270914944,0.1304734335902781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641864562145564,0.0,0.0,0.25261507525070825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512812930604024,0.0,0.0,0.19133870341911705,0.18857199417623385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170204681109885,0.0,0.0,0.09677153855193188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938256750398024,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,henlo-kitty,2018/01/18,"Does anyone else ever feel way too nostalgic about things when experiencing a lot of anxiety? Hi, I'm hoping someone can relate to me or something because I've never had anyone tell me this is something they feel, maybe if someone talked about their experience I could better understand it. 

Background info: I have anxiety and mild depression and I'm on anti depressants. I have a family history of depression/anxiety/schizophrenia on my dad's side and 2 really traumatic (sad not abusive) life events have triggered mental health issues. 

Anyway, sometimes when I'm stressed out or feeling anxious I'll feel really nostalgic about things, even things that have nothing to do with me or happened before I was born. I guess that's not really the definition of nostalgia but it really feels the same; the feeling of my heart in so much pain cause I wish I could go back to when I was a small child and do yard work with my mom and dad when they were together feels so much the same as how sad it is that I know a really good song by my favorite band will never be played live again (that's just an example). I don't know why I feel like this. It doesn't make sense but I cry a lot about these stupid things that shouldn't effect me so deeply. Just hoping to create a discussion, thank you.",6.3983602150537635,6.8299916854838765,6.702354838709677,76.4576989247312,65.61290322580646,10.484301075268817,30.64623655913979,10.355215969177356,3.0739701075268817,1030,35,191,24,15,333,142,248,0.134,0.7440000000000001,0.122,-0.245,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,3,3,20,14,1,1,11,0,20,4,1,5,3,49,42,20,0,7,10,3,8,1,0,2,3,1,1,1,16,8,0,0,13,4,0,1,7,7,0,0,4,10,24,7,20,33,6,19,0,4,0,0,13,6,0,9,12,128,40,1,0.0,0.11977959035502075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467291969946742,0.11420718860249683,0.0,0.14137423364271076,0.10358251742989616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773487150244382,0.0,0.06162582587010744,0.0,0.08602335514899924,0.0,0.0,0.08940922716360522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385115271515227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143030377016096,0.0,0.1110467629449667,0.0,0.0,0.17414383757561575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846784225207946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844508755018086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677148381021346,0.09144510565520224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988891086373884,0.09530221232848064,0.0,0.4089283943678396,0.07222141182732311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745392105923875,0.08479266066168589,0.0,0.0,0.11136618867545447,0.0,0.0893968898399822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745795363362008,0.0,0.11979660807870107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081785459293836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551563431248466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111698792299728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140552176236507,0.049389311178553004,0.0,0.08926765392582274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189262178213294,0.0,0.0,0.06748087866723791,0.0,0.10156228318164724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187874595220912,0.0,0.0,0.11839980543657845,0.0,0.0,0.14863111071187682,0.0,0.15593950036660162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700220197173634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757090240583668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238162990706445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131285206883512,0.15565385132435486,0.09998432673030253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158025757265822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125534559456728,0.08836041373098721,0.093073564055052,0.0,0.0,0.2686488436417442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524218324292768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024353169806825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122140625034623,0.0,0.11625285013668225,0.0,0.0,0.07359747096540402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RelevantBug,2018/01/18,"I've been having very disturbing thoughts of killing my brother and other people and I don't know what to do. I had a big argument with my brother a couple months ago, and since then I've had very gruesome thoughts of killing him in super graphic detail. I'm scared I'm going to lose control or kill him in my sleep or something. I don't get along with him, but I don't want to kill him! I sometimes have these thoughts about other people too, family, friends, random people. I'm not joking about this, and I don't want to go to jail, but no matter who I tell, if it's not anonymous, that's what's going to happen. So I'm asking for advice here. Please help me, I can't take this.

I might not respond to comments since this is a throwaway and I just wanted to post this, but I will read every single comment.",3.3726785714285725,4.31025567261905,4.3390476190476175,88.88928571428572,72.63095238095238,6.314285714285715,25.904761904761905,5.985473137389443,0.7666333333333331,635,20,133,3,12,206,94,168,0.181,0.7340000000000001,0.085,-0.921,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,6,10,4,2,3,0,14,1,1,1,0,29,32,13,4,4,10,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,4,2,0,3,9,7,0,0,6,0,19,3,18,24,1,10,0,1,0,0,14,3,0,5,3,87,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489131727606873,0.11329300906504793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948209721488512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334618407261593,0.0,0.14141578364707807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768273393016954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048486832249918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874320991828542,0.0,0.06677377342236122,0.0,0.2179066344097325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130191234563016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566619815542997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5655971136783564,0.0,0.07023927006096449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429831077512094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558280842729378,0.0,0.0,0.10201416146605094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26581541013048543,0.0,0.0,0.14029347718595658,0.0,0.0,0.12240357700314385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278413776307034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795689416418485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144619696108452,0.0,0.127899091834056,0.0,0.0,0.09839191201598284,0.1264041846047908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960948013045738,0.0,0.11170876890670048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30439294840017234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109079756614748,0.2261512706018033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GabeRDT,2018/01/18,"How do I deal with Sports Anxiety? Hey, I wrestle and have been wrestling for some time now. This year and last year have been really good years for me in wrestling, and this year I have a chance of becoming the state champion.

With the tournaments leading up to the state tournament coming up soon I have felt very anxious and nervous. I'm worried I wont live up to expectations or that ill regret it later on if I lose. I feel a lot of pressure to perform good and I feel that ill be an embarrassment if I perform badly. Any advice?
",4.892560646900272,5.653782433962263,5.566657681940705,82.12349056603773,69.0,9.076010781671158,31.18059299191375,9.23628265651192,2.575187601078168,422,17,85,8,7,137,68,106,0.238,0.6579999999999999,0.104,-0.9174,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,3,8,0,3,6,0,9,2,0,2,0,20,14,9,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,6,0,0,3,3,10,2,14,9,2,18,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,5,9,57,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833314390191825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802183421130235,0.0,0.1552661780664097,0.2292904758825777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946566936051805,0.0,0.2241567432343275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483469639326998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092459929450151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524843333822,0.0,0.19487635729672897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34047155441567073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654419752411188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922009201026487,0.0,0.0,0.2270637375253149,0.0,0.1725519274723988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002332728960975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183493869079335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746577263840295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061188298014681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5228062003609514
mentalhealth,Elairith1,2018/01/18,"Fear of Getting Sick/Throwing Up? Three weeks ago I was sick with either the stomach flu or food poisoning, I am not sure which as the symptoms are very similar. Prior to this illness I have not thrown up for at-least 10 years. Even 3 weeks later I am still having problems overcoming it. I am afraid to eat in general and feel very anxious when I know I have to eat. Due to this my diet has drastically changed and I only eat about 1000 calories a day to minimize possibly feeling sick, I used to eat a lot before I got sick. The worst part about this is that after I eat I sometimes feel like I am sick again. This feeling happens almost exclusively at night which was also when I was actually ill. I have been told and believe that it is all in my head and I tell myself that when it happens but it doesn’t help. This makes me believe it is more psychological than medical which is why I am asking about it here. My question is did I develop a phobia or something similar? And if possible how should I go about overcoming this?

Thank you very much for your time",4.80369272237197,5.542841849056604,5.733638814016175,80.926320754717,69.18867924528303,8.88733153638814,30.708894878706197,9.04235418022936,2.469008355795148,840,33,167,15,14,277,125,212,0.145,0.799,0.056,-0.9289,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,0,13,8,1,2,6,0,23,19,2,3,2,29,38,15,0,3,7,0,4,1,0,1,10,0,0,0,18,6,7,0,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,7,4,26,3,22,30,7,22,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,6,17,123,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.10676567632859726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969829099856228,0.0,0.10955553908770906,0.0,0.0,0.08749292396784547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359903072162046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022809931055099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093097496277967,0.24652897006233135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573834466097402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055861365809495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5597545598241238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226244494566192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311355311280164,0.22127833543968592,0.07816054845963487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229565931282075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716076314561513,0.0,0.062178651282579225,0.0,0.08750295803644713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349690801350689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228338410285683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333336145876758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060127353505697874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345084722227536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301411627606276,0.0,0.0,0.07303017697549326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021627609754217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042690413738199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267127585934628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320913007668823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847737068734862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24668043086643815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468794533257388,0.0,0.0,0.1225611389526269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422703241009857,0.10820655006430152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737275686738312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031150214554232,0.11371600541367195,0.0,0.0,0.09562674315820274,0.1007274799754556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063796236856387,0.0,0.0,0.10454329879781807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449272081241132,0.0,0.2708172735585476,0.0,0.0,0.17551976446657408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872300974721193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045467040349147
mentalhealth,ixyare,2018/01/18,"Fear of getting raped interfering with daily life? Hello. I post in r/depression and r/suicidewatch on occasion, but I don't think this topic fits into either of those categories. Basically, I have been steadly consumed by the fear of getting raped, to the point where it's getting hard for me to hold down a job, or go anywhere without someone with me, except for short routes that I have travelled many times (the 10 minute walk from my apartment to the coffee shop, for example). I work at a movie theater, which means I have to stay late on occasion. Often times I have to clean the dark auditoriums by myself. I am constantly in fight or flight mode, and am stressed out all the time. I've been searching for other jobs, but I'm paranoid and terrified of each of them for various reasons (e.g. there's a popular breakfast place downtown that's hiring, but the fact that it's downtown means that it will be swarming with creepers and monsters, waiting to pounce). If I could learn how to code, I could be a programmer, and work from home and never leave again, unless I feel safe to. But I need to earn money in the meantime, and how can I focus on studying when I feel constantly in danger? Long story short (too late), I'm a fucked up individual. I've thought about buying a gun for protection, but I'm also suicidal, and I know that if I have access to a gun, I will most likely use it on myself. I don't expect anyone to fix me, I'm beyond help. But I needed to vent. Thanks for reading this far, if you did.",5.257506645401378,5.865406000000004,5.9615346446925415,80.16288676236047,68.12457912457913,8.676874003189793,30.44639376218323,8.6894789155246,2.3114956228956225,1190,44,229,18,19,389,169,297,0.177,0.76,0.063,-0.9902,2,0,0,2,1,1,46.0,0,1,1,3,11,12,5,3,15,0,19,5,0,4,3,54,40,24,1,8,15,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,14,14,1,4,9,3,3,3,4,8,0,0,4,3,27,4,49,30,5,38,0,0,0,3,5,22,1,7,12,158,41,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035182422401204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051193521867186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27977115136060765,0.0,0.2067048403473866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114919977936711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913263847224185,0.13090398224063435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967111431316943,0.20289120962899432,0.0,0.07356737429417189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595855181551715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676519576098411,0.0,0.12984529728675231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569111634518662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114035813624962,0.0,0.29204236323649385,0.1370650508919695,0.0,0.0,0.09143182309082508,0.06324097423842699,0.0,0.0,0.11455599379934568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123833589595651,0.0,0.2820101642011523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196573621062832,0.09983704662113044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524394056331154,0.0,0.12236869223505675,0.0,0.1239738724164368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948143369636392,0.0,0.0,0.1330924622317428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967951775263116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797264291072905,0.0,0.0,0.14828041804009706,0.0,0.0,0.1415933556038096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917685681836584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294402864936881,0.0,0.10276598520334844,0.22644371686565065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180013102067712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478171382365726,0.0,0.1884770471290812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TomTheGamerYT,2018/01/19,"Please help me I've never been so anxious in all my life. Last Wednesday I did a night shift at work till 10pm. I often find I have insomnia when I do such shifts; I slept a little maybe 4-5hours, but I was constantly waking up etc. Still I thought nothing of it and carried on with my day like normal. Come Thursday night; the same thing. 4-5hours with constant interruption. It's now the third night, at 12pm, in exhausted but still unable to sleep and my anxiety is through the roof. All day I think about whether I'll be able to sleep or not. I'm starting to feel slightly delirious now and I'm really feeling upset. Any help, advice etc would be SO SO appreciated. Is this normal? I don't want to take sleep medication or drugs, but I can't keep this up, and in to afraid to talk to my parents about it because I know they'll just say it's a 'phase'.",3.15328552803129,4.2167430508474615,4.253333333333334,88.8187744458931,73.29378531073445,7.254063450673621,26.04476314645806,7.61054688173877,1.1539216862233816,668,22,148,8,13,218,111,177,0.08900000000000001,0.7959999999999999,0.115,0.753,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,13,4,0,2,6,0,13,10,5,0,3,31,26,15,0,4,8,1,2,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,5,3,17,1,22,17,5,28,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,3,19,93,24,1,0.12896144117358088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260196277711921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769820227428607,0.0,0.09865514951480248,0.1456897211113209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861369756259365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108886254465394,0.0,0.2787230070346535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633892168623826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955432921352216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28765219265194675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304135590302245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178684208991577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288027125628036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114626854335376,0.0,0.0,0.07087383543594894,0.10512078681073599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108927974381367,0.06300404606340446,0.12925324344213965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955910125467968,0.0,0.0,0.1299150845506626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946301365373174,0.0,0.0,0.3630647293613875,0.2527096624870666,0.12374198091535307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319641886564288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415609360146305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261600146222474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255531415446767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871637267522767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127957182355556,0.0,0.20597754701501286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696295431315384,0.1036543214427546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567625117555186,0.08263328426926451,0.0,0.1023809791590578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606479927990525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388546509771832,0.0,0.0,0.09161050772520506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_eta-carinae,2018/01/19,"if i break up with my gf i’ll be so lonely i’ll kms but if i stay with her she’ll make me feel shit enough to do it anyway six years ago my brother raped me (i’m 15 male) and then killed himself and ever since then my entire life has been shit. i have depression, anxiety and autism and i’m barely a person anymore i regularly talk to one person, my girlfriend, who’s a fucking asshole. she constantly complains about everything that’s wrong with me as if there’s anything i can do about it, from my voice to memory to hair to anxiety, she makes me feel terrible for things that i’m annoyed about, and has made fun of me of being raped, being gender-confused and for telling her an embarrassing piece of personal information.

we broke up in july last year and starting talking again in august. about two weeks befoe i overdosed twice in three days from loneliness and my depression. after that, my anxiety started to get severe. since january last year, i’ve lost most of my friends and have resorted to drugs and self harm to try to stop me killing myself. 

so, my choices are: stay with someone who very quickly swerves from making myself the happiest i’ve ever been to making me cry (no matter how hard i try i cannot cry about anything except when i’m hurt badly or something happens so making me cry is a special fucking achievement) until i finally have a bad enough day and hang myself or i can break up with, lose the last of my friends and die from a cocaine overdose.

what the fuck am i supposed to do anymore?? if i tell her all this without mentioning the possibility of leaving her she’ll leave me on read and when she finally decides to talk to me again she’ll pretend it didn’t happen and if i bring it up agsin after that she’ll leave me on read again and if i do mention leaving her then she’ll leave me. no matter what happens i can’t handle it i’m so lonely and sad and anxious i’m so fucking sick of this it’s been six years for fuvks sake",4.172186147186147,5.2405192777777785,5.152481962481963,83.3118181818182,70.86868686868685,7.778354978354978,29.54689754689755,8.07648339933343,1.9786503607503607,1558,61,307,21,28,511,188,396,0.327,0.622,0.052000000000000005,-0.9992,0,4,3,0,0,2,28.0,1,0,0,3,21,31,11,1,10,0,28,12,3,7,3,52,54,39,3,6,11,1,4,0,4,5,3,1,0,5,17,23,0,1,4,3,0,2,6,27,0,6,6,5,55,4,52,40,5,47,0,9,0,6,36,9,6,9,32,215,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572897924948543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017229019925229,0.08376772904383101,0.14707258305208315,0.0,0.0,0.12203729521683182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382332252206706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012917161712647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24434893976626104,0.09564047219644993,0.0,0.12772955870107272,0.0,0.07695538230741544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598977629532124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323232663995628,0.0,0.0,0.13414477541463646,0.0,0.0,0.06664070974701704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749843406463671,0.0,0.0,0.16245411149641414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457530255940372,0.274199743891475,0.03874000703051559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967102387453338,0.0,0.06642330814818466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937847845345095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407067503692407,0.0,0.0,0.18132500054086115,0.0,0.3925676014921393,0.0,0.0,0.052373922100840575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295422462484145,0.08094284165600561,0.0,0.0,0.07016196588479795,0.2474765393057421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024556013809894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19423321776531105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359232015247782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833895448375928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773540074322277,0.08376772904383101,0.15222661040683705,0.12267431862859275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282655561978501,0.05708383947594284,0.0,0.0,0.1049666700083806,0.15806681322924954,0.0,0.061992228086228285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879546435958113,0.12961970758916525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049261574112568964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068516603391577,0.0,0.0724332005659978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611810299250003,0.0,0.0,0.05947818516792432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147738652129539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107074115048071,0.0,0.1909991593226862
mentalhealth,ggfetws,2018/01/19,"Need someone to keep me from going insane. I'll just keep this as short as possible, but will further the proverbial plot in private. (I would also like to apologize in advance for my ""dry"" style of writing, I wrote a longer, more emotional post before this but decided it was too long to be productive.)

I am about to embark on an incredibly risky and life threatening ""adventure"", and I need someone to keep me from breaking under pressure. I want you to know that my problem is quite unique and therefor probably not one of your run of the mill low self-esteem, social issues that I imagine one would encounter on this sub, so please keep that in mind if you decide to contact me.

Any kind of help will be greatly appreciated.",8.158342022940566,7.4085625401459865,7.977163712200209,72.72912408759127,62.284671532846716,10.748279457768511,37.81960375391033,9.957137785484203,3.7419413972888433,576,25,102,10,7,185,96,137,0.117,0.75,0.133,0.3688,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,2,5,7,0,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,0,26,19,10,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,4,0,0,3,1,3,0,2,2,0,14,4,23,11,1,15,0,1,0,0,9,9,0,1,2,71,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529025668188598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654209006158563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331602918419008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623451148103114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904010548545473,0.0,0.0,0.17273104002906944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501370012380863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635244912155136,0.0,0.5570278213858773,0.0,0.16314940739563838,0.08610263793561149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066181511631644,0.0765418512107827,0.0,0.0,0.13864947430498278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581936978431518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323400769128908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21232952062334948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197841692241128,0.0,0.1766237376694187,0.15004812640532608,0.0,0.1689185302251884,0.1499136038365552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663957792789855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634426929587151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970701039597734,0.265494750192865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240899454300787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225900807891069,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,T_Daaawg,2018/01/19,"Trouble living in a foreign country. So I have anxiety and depression, which I've been taking medication for for almost two years. It's been helpful, although I've not been doing very well recently.

I would like to go to therapy again, because I think that would be really helpful for me, but there's one big problem (aside from money). I moved to Mexico in September 2017 to be with my husband, but my Spanish is very limited. I have been trying to learn, but honestly, learning languages is something I am not good at. It's taking a really long time, and I often get dispirited with it when I can't understand what people are saying. I don't think there are English speaking therapists here (I live in Chihuahua City), so I'm wondering if there's any alternative to traditional cbt that I could engage in. It's hard not to feel really isolated out here and although I'm sure it will get better when I know the language, that is proving to be very difficult for me. 

Does anyone know of any online treatments or... anything that might be available? Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this.",5.6405058099794925,6.693207722488038,6.548889268626112,74.69972488038279,67.4688995215311,9.79917976760082,33.11038961038961,9.957137785484203,3.4527317840054685,870,38,152,20,14,289,124,209,0.111,0.773,0.116,0.2914,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,12,12,0,0,5,0,24,1,0,0,2,34,40,14,0,5,8,1,2,1,0,4,1,2,0,0,12,6,0,1,10,1,1,2,5,4,1,2,4,4,16,8,24,27,1,17,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,7,9,109,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322643014616906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18095179279981452,0.0,0.1017798866492363,0.0,0.0,0.09302891225714216,0.0,0.10948558716232556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110365517004857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766844543685034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622646841737572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459239331324413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642952074628962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672720953792085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902217052164298,0.0,0.0756131530241441,0.11159273915048833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918315431273252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783559651867268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462372916678855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499959402336533,0.0,0.23496425141950114,0.11774159363560485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311101901237194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402992793202764,0.0,0.1411408652447843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140692697554474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015546672425696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223739945695897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730712980956746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308208365191512,0.0,0.2556981760889244,0.0,0.13136695270100252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580358249168108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242537203727764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539435538675447,0.0,0.30010228197020145,0.0,0.0,0.12249095469290795,0.15214978698138384,0.15447675281739542,0.0,0.1705011111481402,0.0,0.0,0.15516047776153802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032955460192052,0.0,0.12996668731348565,0.1385056608745224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293308478838162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962440365627752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428279784469916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902423518706124,0.0,0.0,0.0856773131066193
mentalhealth,modernrose,2018/01/19,"Is it more important to focus on my mental health or to advance my degree? I've already completed one semester of my RN-BSN program but I'm finding it almost impossible to do the work this semester. I feel like I just want to drown myself in distractions. I spend ALL of my free time off in a fantasy world, either reading or fantasizing. I've even toyed with the idea of calling in just so I don't have to face reality - not that I would actually call in because of that. 
Basically, I've had problems with depression for years and I've never seen a therapist or really been medicated. I wouldn't call my depression REALLY bad right now because I use suicidal thoughts as my marker, and I haven't had any of those for a good six months. But I am definitely depressed, and I'm questioning everything in my life and I also have some relationship problems I haven't been dealing with. 
So, should I drop the semester now while I can without being charged or should I give myself a good kick in the pants and get on with it?",5.995895522388063,6.2154721343283565,7.321604477611943,72.40389925373138,66.46268656716418,11.277114427860697,34.660447761194035,11.038039088145766,3.9573910447761182,813,36,154,23,12,279,114,201,0.209,0.684,0.107,-0.9816,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,8,11,0,1,8,0,18,4,1,1,2,37,27,16,2,7,11,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,5,3,2,1,7,7,0,2,6,2,23,5,27,16,4,20,0,3,1,0,7,11,0,7,8,111,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.13179343839039734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523729430275092,0.0,0.14903569177485332,0.10800281214968876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184150183499684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276463374422015,0.1646555998119429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137163803939351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160178174161914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923497216827788,0.34896600927512145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920203958221584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213780259488358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828747232196522,0.0964827628335401,0.0,0.0,0.12343711174878015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056025658277869,0.1295563155486632,0.0,0.22655414680085784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355632204752486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245977723111376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539279068201527,0.06598067077871002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360529197489822,0.13610289019255534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779899111873542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416214145899247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151623572750066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584573010326218,0.0,0.0,0.15129163670444,0.0,0.1350907691027319,0.0,0.17303838512360853,0.0,0.0,0.1449976912728178,0.0,0.11533556724782686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772739814737162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680836047906474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721796617788114,0.07875120264113729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664348512533955,0.0,0.0,0.07965847898221308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018745011678245,0.0,0.09832108174901384,0.0,0.0,0.09593864406746652,0.0,0.0,0.0869704907273761
mentalhealth,darkangel_401,2018/01/19,"schizophrenia (maybe something else) With a friend So my friend who I was really close to for a while stopped talking to me for a while and I was hurt but when I heard back from her today she came over and we smoked and she started to get paranoid and her mood would change and she would be afraid of me. Then not be. Then tell me to back away. Anyways she said she wants to go calm down and ask me to go with her. So I do. Her moods continue to change. I do my best to calm her down. And keep her calm but then she tells me to run cause she hears someone coming out of an apartment building over from us. I run cause I know she’s mentally not fully there. 

Then she runs after me like she’s scared then she sees the guys walking and is like “those are grown men. Let’s invite them to the house” we are 20-22 year old females. She’s like “I wanna do something crazy” and gives me a look that terrifies me so I run up to my house. Lock the door. Catch my breath. I figure she would calm down then we would talk. 

She eventually does. But not before she punches my door. Then I crack the door cause I want to be able to shut it really quick if she freaks me out. I care about her but I care more about my safety. 

So we talk for a bit she then starts to talk to something that isn’t there. And then starts moaning and starts having an orgasm. Or at least that’s what it looked like to me. Shut the door to give her some personal space. Then a few mins later knocking on the door. I open it up she talks about how she needs to be with-the how she needs to be away from her ex (heroin addict that has no interest in helping himself) and that he’s dangerous and then that she only trusts him. 

She tells me she wants to be with me. And for me to be her soulmate forever. I still wanna be her friend but i think she needs to take care of herself. I told her I would help her make an appointment to see a psychiatrist or some sort of mental health doctor. I just want to see her okay. She opened up to me a lot while she was freaking out. And I don’t want her to think because she’s freaking out I don’t care about her. 

Oh and she knows I have a haunted doll (it’s supposedly a good spirit of a little girl) and she keeps asking for it cause it’s a demon (I’ve barely had any action with this doll. Let alone demonic activity. I bought a “haunted doll” on eBay for the novelty) and she said she needs it and that I need to take it to a priest. 

She told me she thinks she’s schizophrenic cause she hears voices and sees things and she’s had a history of abusing animals and  she was abused as a kid. And she said she thinks she needs to see someone for it. I don’t know much about the condition but I was trying to take care of the situation the best I could but I have really bad anxiety and though it’s getting really a lot better things like this situation really freak me out so I’ve locked her out of the house. Which I feel terrible for but I’m so fucking scared and I’m home alone with
Just my old man dog and my cat. 

I don’t know what this is or what I can do. I just wish I had some answers that could explain any of this. 

Thanks. ",0.3055215849333486,2.43856154901961,1.804340018751784,98.08413507398802,85.8476621417798,5.212743059801884,17.104255839549953,6.579829828797287,-0.3833584688761161,2429,54,578,27,74,781,249,663,0.106,0.7290000000000001,0.165,0.9924,0,2,4,0,1,0,52.0,5,0,1,3,25,39,2,3,31,1,43,7,2,8,0,114,110,63,0,22,18,1,1,5,3,5,4,7,6,6,30,46,0,3,12,0,1,12,9,12,0,0,16,15,124,25,84,77,12,72,4,1,7,2,101,28,1,10,37,399,154,1,0.05611687337378201,0.13297863729778098,0.0,0.061175675139035005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624031370344813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632279644751089,0.0,0.04292925453230632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492340276683013,0.0,0.1054472995783574,0.08630082347313514,0.04685524526374122,0.03420832515067005,0.0,0.04775132603806519,0.0,0.1177823929396539,0.04963081420976657,0.06126509158139196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418275343396165,0.2860744619906383,0.2882374352953743,0.11872842239518105,0.0483397174839646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960951423483902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057437997773592014,0.04910825405433295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04687844694388009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028374377301168856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300672714939825,0.051879145178810926,0.05863750039853366,0.10766483673007818,0.0637850247043494,0.0470681709389045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556452732230787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059649612253027534,0.12649558948476133,0.0,0.07522791465904638,0.0,0.056289799484084725,0.0,0.0,0.19425401243310544,0.060074273583414974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975851093840002,0.0,0.0,0.12336146409282485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476661011837208,0.0,0.13707934878833766,0.05624384955213329,0.0,0.0,0.09424808047653296,0.0,0.0,0.09541711796801436,0.0,0.0,0.03745844873166263,0.0,0.05637694192439972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310521906258725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041252358819935886,0.24965970331403234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777043746323622,0.0,0.0,0.04267941092392267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048999089301276604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797495301895564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601399916394949,0.0,0.1123655598297353,0.0,0.22358941301408067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261554337539134,0.0,0.0,0.09509528940693664,0.12960453223655036,0.0,0.0,0.1588792472237002,0.0,0.04481500756542278,0.046916218887735985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265787148380697,0.22552308574231336,0.14714586234000626,0.05166487746286464,0.0,0.0,0.07456311428603563,0.14382970623154026,0.05513454316881232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053192234384568736,0.1072441546888503,0.0,0.038099673412485616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750168918028285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549592926955592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453163492769934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931908386490554,0.0,0.0,0.036137426588750896
mentalhealth,CodeSkill,2018/01/19,"15 year old cousin showing odd personality traits, what is wrong with him? My 15 year old cousin is portraying the following personality traits:

* EXTREMELY isolated. 
* Lack of empathy, lack of compassion, and lack of emotion
* very hard to make him smile or laugh
* highly intelligent
* very selfish 
* Hard to get along with and talk to
* appears to have pent up rage
* is taking Zoloft for anxiety attacks
* does very well in school **if** the subject interests him



**Please understand this happened OVER NIGHT about a year ago. He grew 6 inches in a year as well. Could this be hormones?**




I understand that many teenagers show some of these traits, but he seems to go much further beyond what would be normal for a 15 year old. 



There are brief moments when you can enjoy being around him, but for the majority of the time he displays the traits that were just stated. If someone in his family gets sick or seems to have a serious ailment, he does tend to show extreme concern and also is very loving with his dog. I just don't know what we're dealing with and where do we go? Because at this point we just see a life of loneliness and psychological issues for him.

Is there anything we can do? What type of issues do you think he might have?


**PLEASE HELP**",2.3932614942528763,5.286588814655175,2.9897931034482745,87.401183908046,85.42241379310346,6.196781609195403,23.25057471264368,7.554174236665415,1.3384443678160918,983,36,184,18,30,306,136,232,0.128,0.7809999999999999,0.091,-0.648,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,3,2,0,0,13,11,2,0,10,0,22,4,0,1,0,39,40,14,0,8,9,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,10,14,0,0,6,3,0,6,1,5,2,0,1,3,15,6,33,33,6,33,0,0,1,1,25,13,0,9,13,116,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945949619248016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533864175301438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163543435412257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878160092112822,0.09499752197644064,0.0,0.12140186162519545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505147859253951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520194092023996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001679653388388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677117475129348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003817565784898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059986600706962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150666058903866,0.0,0.12129533237315815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436627880529656,0.0,0.1911884339888355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152772108032436,0.1127485321539832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276206216284686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058646876200701276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537480763510145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631298089538863,0.0,0.07123200171434765,0.10819060572249696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320601956537063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844660400201603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014326680984764,0.10455644314603167,0.0,0.0,0.33593318546276435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863559934429291,0.0,0.23427846505663774,0.1008786254717247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799962546690328,0.08503673798785236,0.19429568451984436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041789032143717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023517201629275,0.08577216288533901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837761725166648,0.0,0.0,0.0622254229871034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218475886033573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35219881777311235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918962669999472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580611479816061,0.11667431565058432,0.0,0.3435995509533959
mentalhealth,milanise7en,2018/01/19,Prove to me that i am not the most hated person in the entire universe. Protip: You can’t.,0.6726315789473674,2.747354421052634,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,83.73684210526315,3.8,14.76315789473684,3.1291,-1.0134421052631586,70,1,14,0,2,24,18,19,0.0,0.8170000000000001,0.183,0.5551,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7490768027292753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6624831647769521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,radiochrome,2018/01/19,Drunk @ work My friend died today-- she was so good. She was 100% a sunshiney type of person. I couldn't stop crying so i went home and drank my lunch. I have nothing to do at work because we're poor. What should I do? I feel awful. Give me something to do. ,-1.6344444444444441,0.061751481481485015,0.06414814814814918,104.22066666666667,108.25925925925928,2.16,14.65925925925926,3.1291,-1.5567496296296297,196,5,46,0,10,62,42,54,0.197,0.618,0.185,-0.182,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,1,8,3,0,0,0,5,12,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,10,2,4,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,27,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691326426073208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047688563145285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28795218684615764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028846469818673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435933355996936,0.0,0.0,0.2661579932931499,0.0,0.23271423253044266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27830776562859505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662234302999732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24226107014522125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359670912958156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23196295190356195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629927986250414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572015115199215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039778640802708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chelseajae,2018/01/19,"Depression getting bad again any advice So i have been dealing with depression and anxiety for sooo long im 18 years old i really started to notice it when i was about 10 or 11. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when i was 15 and then i was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder last january i was put on zoloft and i was also supposed to be on something else i forgot what it waa called but the pharmacy and my insurance were being weird and i never got to get it. I stopped zoloft probably in april or may because my pyschiatrist stopped taking my insurance and i never got a new doctor until now i have a appointment in a couple weeks. Ive been coping with my depression and anxiety but its been really hard and just recently its starting to get worse im pretty in touch with how im feeling so i can usually tell if im going ito a high or a low tuesday i could tell i was getting low i left school early and decided not to go wednesday because i just didnt have the motivation to get up and do anything i was depressed all day but i was hoping i would be ok thursday thursday came and i just couldnt get up so i stayed home and now today is friday and i never woke up until late and i missed my class. went through this right now sleeping is my comfort so i have been doing that these past 3 days and it made me miss school because i just couldnt get out of bed. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation and do you have any advice i just dont have anyone to really relate to and get advice from everyone in my family just says i dont have the motivation to finish school or im lazy but its just my mental health gets in the way so much hoepfully i get back on my medicine which i know dosenf help some people but it helps me. Thank you for any help 
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mentalhealth,dezza156,2018/01/19,"Mental Health in the UK Questionnaire I'm doing undergrad research at Newcastle University on differences in mental health in different countries in the UK and between non-/LGBT+ individuals. Everything is fully anonymous (no names or emails etc. are taken) so you don't need to worry about being identified and all information will only be used for my dissertation. The survey's been approved by our ethics committee and the link is http://nclpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_ba8jVPKP0NFZspv 

Due to the specifics of the research, if you are under 18, live or was born outside the UK, you won't be able to complete the survey.

Thank you to everyone who's taken the survey so far, a large sample helps so much!",7.894007285974499,10.162699803278686,7.299945355191253,66.86955373406195,63.26229508196721,10.340255009107473,34.04735883424408,10.504223727775694,4.176898724954462,584,25,84,15,9,182,87,122,0.0,0.911,0.08900000000000001,0.8624,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,4,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,0,13,2,0,1,1,12,19,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,6,1,16,10,3,10,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,3,2,59,7,3,0.20613255525752214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612606235153012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43072929433233503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22989228779230605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696849016515167,0.1852586491615693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4382185340918003,0.0,0.0,0.13816630670133628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820188228158721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41546626561032896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153114603007098,0.15284467782732894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677309696203173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897791620989113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17803234414874153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093376157763578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PatternPerson,2018/01/19,"Trying to understand myself A few things about myself that I feel are important in a discussion like this

*I'm 28

*I'm very desensitized to physical sensations. It can be cold outside, everyone will mention how cold it is, my skin will look orange/pink (I'm white) but the physical sensation of cold is barely registering with my brain. Same thing with hot, I love scolding hot showers. Same thing with pain, I can't recall a physical pain in the last 5 years where my brain was like, ""ouch that hurt."" Same thing with sex, etc...

*It is very hard to keep me mentally stimulated too. Because of this, I generally opt out of social situations because I'm uninterested in like 95% of what goes on, the conversations, etc... I generally keep myself interested by looking for social patterns people specifically have or there is copious amounts of alcohol. I've learned to pick up and fake social ques very well as most of them do not come naturally to me. My girlfriend loves when I for real laugh, smile, and show happiness; it's just unfortunate that I'm only close enough to my girlfriend to show them.

*I pick up concepts extremely quick. It's hard to learn from other people because they generally give too many examples and go on waaay too long, I understand points very quickly and my brain has a tendency to not want to listen if I already understand what is being said. I cope with this by a series of quirks like tapping my feet, pinching my hand, looking around the room, etc... I've gone through 10 years of college without taking notes and learned concepts independently from lectures (using lectures as a fundamental basis and then spending an hour with independent learning).

*I'm not afraid of taking risks. Compared to the average, I love taking risks and experimenting. I'm not afraid to ruin a 2 hour meal if it meant trying something new. 

*I'm like a machine, I'm very distant from my emotions. I feel like I have never learned to cope with my emotions. 99% of the time I am a docile person who generally keeps a distance from people so that I cannot be affected emotionally. However, in those 1% situations, I go from 0 to 100 and can lose control of my actions.

*Very recently I've been unintentionally having conversations with myself. I don't realize this, my girlfriend points it out all the time, I will reenact past conversations and future conversations. I generally whisper very quietly and won't even realize that I'm doing it or what I am saying. If my girlfriend points it out, I can quickly capture the thoughts and describe why I was doing it, otherwise I cannot recollect doing this. I've learned that situations remind me of past or possibly future conversations and it just makes me live the event again unintentionally. For example, I was cleaning out a storage shed (which I live in a condo) and remember when the upstairs neighbor was showing me the door to their storage shed. They were asking if the HOA covers it and a conversation started that way. Just being in the shed, I started whispering through that conversation and I was unaware I was even doing it until my girlfriend saw that I was moving my mouth as if I were talking.

**Now that I think about this point. I used to have a habit much younger in life where I would slightly wake up and have what felt like a minute conversation with no one. I would continue with the conversation until I realized that I wasn't talking with anyone. By this point I would forget what it was even about. Brings up another good point, I have frequent sleep paralysis to the point where I'm no longer terrified of them. I constantly remember my dreams and often in lucid dreaming states. One of my favorite hobbies is dreaming in between snooze alarms and usually being lucid in them. I do this to the extreme, I'll push a 10 minute snooze alarm 15+ times in a row until I can't fall back asleep again.

*I love being in an altered state of mind. However, on a semi-rare occasion my paranoia levels jump through the roof especially in public. I think everyone is looking at me, talking about me, laughing at me... I understand that my brain is constantly looking for laughter (etc...) and irrationally connects them that they are laughing at me. I understand there is a lot of uncertainty and missing information in my brain and in these states of minds, my brain fills in the missing information with false information.

*I have an unnatural ability of breaking down complex topics and being able to structure them appropriately for a target audience.

I'm certain there are other things, do any of you relate to these things?
",5.809452601947656,7.503773079009434,6.525797321972008,72.63685331710289,67.62028301886792,9.574741326841144,33.96043822276324,9.896295409449726,3.617689987827145,3673,172,625,87,62,1206,353,848,0.077,0.8009999999999999,0.122,0.9931,3,0,2,0,0,0,115.0,0,1,10,2,34,33,0,6,41,0,63,23,13,11,3,122,120,42,0,9,17,0,9,7,6,7,4,6,6,1,53,41,2,4,28,6,1,11,15,14,1,2,18,25,91,19,111,88,14,98,0,5,7,5,49,45,0,11,44,441,144,9,0.05084617400676509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433909670430002,0.0,0.0,0.056110017386677744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03457714191420131,0.05331664680567482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03555282709796157,0.0,0.0,0.04526387488091442,0.047534308967368905,0.0,0.0,0.039097569264187365,0.0,0.0929860672121981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405668761854389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379947667889607,0.0,0.10989330133413618,0.05702830768651915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158530614906725,0.0,0.052537689788048285,0.2268276983865576,0.10075025516934108,0.0,0.0,0.09717139645676257,0.0,0.04973731479446122,0.0,0.0,0.051418706668817545,0.03632451686997894,0.048820300791364325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877628326086625,0.057794104877168816,0.04264735837648842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412669771096526,0.09109636940734926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001464784297474,0.0,0.054431880899826174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355832470933639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144641816395672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03591415640098843,0.1738861059617614,0.0,0.08979620638612976,0.044997263960202136,0.21348990114764235,0.05688386276595976,0.0,0.04322759886416242,0.1835626288331153,0.0,0.03394021597652752,0.05155003982028008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124098425106188,0.0,0.1026802822639039,0.0,0.0,0.05404143618619648,0.03737778833073657,0.0,0.03921570396121581,0.049107551698298536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890936683262043,0.03867080654849658,0.10820782813003343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707685290793877,0.10575100477777903,0.04439691791434927,0.0,0.0,0.3364624856057009,0.057321421414597534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057874077663837134,0.0,0.0,0.050204462703542674,0.0,0.11519760656083518,0.0,0.04836635513712157,0.04043491838616934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145968986434906,0.05088289450554195,0.15549381357065006,0.0,0.03914386886971418,0.0,0.0,0.07197836733161943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468998490596825,0.12260468594339415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267963210751672,0.06516035045002658,0.0,0.040366182588620785,0.0889464388723339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904242904014828,0.0,0.0,0.26466330163839685,0.0,0.08782953801848692,0.055999877175095976,0.29367393018391585,0.029990390808132827,0.0403593262319808,0.0,0.0,0.04571681681209682,0.0,0.045880763424653775,0.0,0.0,0.049013897292570816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083589894992145,0.0,0.0,0.06548653800611744
mentalhealth,ApocalyptiConspiracy,2018/01/19,"How do I know if I might have a few problems if i'm only 13? I've heard, pretty much everywhere, that when you're growing up, you have mood swings, and can grow depressed, or something. That's completely fine, but I think I might not be entirely mentally healthy, whatnot with nightmares and hearing voices, seeing things and not sleeping correctly, as well as the thoughts of just... a crushing shame or, well, I can't exactly say sadness, but a worthless outlook on life. How do I know if this is me faking it? When I bring up a hint to my friends, because they are often extremely nosy, no privacy whatsoever, it just slips out when I don't want it to. They have taken this to procrastination and laziness, and deny that. I can't... really blame them, as maybe it is just that, but I have the most amazing sister, who I can share my problems with, and she sympathizes, and says I might have a few problems. But i'm just 13. Most everyone says that people at age 13 or an age like that look down on that kind of thinking, with it being fake and all. To draw attention. Maybe it is, maybe not. I'm not sure if I want it to, but...
How do I know?",4.410921052631579,5.024192635964916,5.243263157894738,84.54384210526318,70.00877192982456,8.536140350877194,30.11228070175439,8.648137234880735,2.135431228070176,883,34,185,14,15,288,122,228,0.158,0.691,0.151,-0.3744,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,3,0,13,19,0,1,8,0,22,2,1,3,4,57,39,29,0,9,20,1,0,1,1,3,1,6,0,0,18,12,0,0,7,0,0,3,8,9,2,0,3,8,22,9,20,31,6,15,0,3,2,0,14,7,0,13,6,134,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011259238018288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779167952903282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319210800210375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255777243098506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153499435498184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812022444315925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685401433585356,0.21667547252231084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928260413207288,0.06420531811979639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035994923129497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39608805296410815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244074755081747,0.4182484962669391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660903865671522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995105680605264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111028558959863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370168704344934,0.0,0.3772544224846973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419120655091905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135320815842593,0.0,0.0,0.10472496052599377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151520573541098,0.0,0.0,0.10117376414424913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386207327909304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873098047782845,0.16841763776416774,0.0,0.10433303489284436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550301906188683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363252573202633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ice_Archer,2018/01/19,"ADHD Help Background:  take 125mg for my ADHD, suffer from GAD with symptoms PTSD, Depression,dysgraphia,sensory processing disorder, possible borderline autism. 15

I feel kinda like my ADHD has gotten worse and I was under the impression that ADHD got better with age. I'm unsettled by this and want to know wether I should inform my parents and psychiatrist as well. Also was I informed wrong on ADHD getting better with age.",5.655942857142858,8.563429146666667,6.367238095238098,68.49600000000002,70.86666666666667,9.085714285714287,30.714285714285715,9.606745405546679,3.7832285714285714,346,15,47,9,7,113,58,75,0.172,0.642,0.187,-0.1761,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,14,12,5,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,1,7,5,10,7,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8312689883940799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062778716729836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24469509036053455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854581182537322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994717826195894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227520184280774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106404744425127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272415568948868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602621749166644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758431061911704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536065039762917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595381298640235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170816748169384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378477108665816,0.10401196164850464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815945537297787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438128231118326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409768878995764,0.0,0.15124943512740066,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YashaRostova,2018/01/19,"Please Help, Life or Death. I recently had a breakdown of some sort. I violently threw apart everything in my home while screaming. I have never had an anger problem or been in a fight. My father, instead of comforting me- cursed at me more. And took videos of my breakdown to press charges on damaged property. I wanted to be consoled and comforted, but instead I was cursed at and recorded. He recorded me while I was lying down in the middle of all that i had destroyed. He only cared about himself, and this lead me to break more things. I laid down on the floor in the midst of all I broke, crying.

I've always been a gentle and confused person, never have I done this before. Im 17. Also, I may be going to jail for a probation violation due to drug abuse. I also went to a knife, but could not kill myself. I don't think I wanted to, I just wanted to be put in a hospital so people would care for me. Thank you.",2.233014705882354,4.250011233695656,3.7659590792838884,87.34042199488495,77.96739130434783,6.2859335038363175,23.323529411764717,7.285733465282438,0.9610528132992328,713,23,143,9,17,236,111,184,0.208,0.649,0.14300000000000002,-0.9293,0,0,1,0,2,1,26.0,0,1,0,1,7,16,6,1,10,0,17,2,0,1,4,27,28,14,2,6,6,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,4,5,0,0,1,1,0,6,4,11,0,0,11,2,26,5,27,11,5,27,0,2,0,0,8,14,0,6,6,109,30,1,0.0,0.2003188152552712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704084269080855,0.14067873878117962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386504860014865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34475370459649035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498763479525333,0.0,0.18571407637258006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301602447508593,0.0,0.0,0.1960660672083921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519480854468105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960856633775769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133232152535848,0.0,0.1695897352047356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262325580823524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704951556238747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119418253808729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607924761835453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285843983034369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721097931486205,0.14762430593177325,0.0,0.1855867104662718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617759547276338,0.0,0.1699607847702726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693498804548065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556557843271343,0.0,0.0,0.11232176099138963,0.10833242442655346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878415953744156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29916337680564403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672841946900956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201015848829132,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gumparimaas,2018/01/19,"Is this normal under stress? Hello everyone, this is more of a *""I'm seeing this too much and I'm too intimidated to check if something might be wrong""* post.
I'm a student living in America not from here though. Got here on a scholarship, everything was fine. My course started acting funny and asked me to leave in the last semester and said I need to get a mental health check-up before they can keep me. This was because they said I wasn't progressing fast enough seeing my patients. I was determined to be what I came here to be but all I got was a "" you can't always get what you want"" during my final meeting. Long story short I HAD to transfer as I couldn't stay in the country long enough to actually go to counseling and make a plan ( which I later found out was not legal for then to do from my ombudsman). I couldnt/ can't fight a legal battle there because again I had 2 months in the country on a student budget and the USA is expensive!

It was a tough last 6 months but I'm finally in my last semester. Problem is to that I think I have this PTSD/depression thing going on. I'm constantly doubting myself ( I feel it's because I never knew anything was wrong till the end in the last course) I take like 15 mins to send an email cz I'm looking over and over thinking my words in case they offend anyone and I've started thinking in my head so much that I'm scared its making me dissociative at times. I lose track of sentences ppl are speaking sometimes and tend to forget stuff and information general. This never happened before but it's kinda hampering my relationships and confidence. It comes to a point where I feel like crying for no reason almost like 50% of the time now

I'm a little intimidated about seeking help because of the stigma it might put on me, or what my family and friends might think. This never happened before, and I was always stress free earlier but all I seem to do now is stress. 

Apologies if this doesn't fit here.",4.320104663973559,5.543578424164521,5.359319684171872,81.38362146529566,70.67095115681235,8.127836944546457,27.517535806096216,8.527137837955566,1.945135071612192,1553,53,299,25,28,512,199,389,0.136,0.765,0.099,-0.9276,0,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,0,2,3,3,14,19,3,5,20,0,32,2,1,3,5,58,74,24,0,8,9,0,2,3,1,3,1,3,0,0,22,15,0,1,11,0,5,7,12,13,0,0,18,8,38,7,42,48,7,58,0,1,3,0,19,22,0,10,30,200,60,6,0.0,0.0,0.08100639404126968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312314850541146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381429770722747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804295799537103,0.0,0.06831067011936935,0.0,0.07760372729656065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241002226465452,0.0,0.2119077795527992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494203892148566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150630182200497,0.0,0.08970499386356298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118327195924578,0.0,0.0,0.07149692832358168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352277350056839,0.1715443282830445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932020802945923,0.07460459578296615,0.0,0.07825502801348894,0.0,0.08394533079271205,0.05930280596468285,0.0,0.18186816088064545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101686397329986,0.0641338017452461,0.0,0.08673924921005967,0.0,0.09435370055164784,0.0,0.13278235744343833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468120403046707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519284820459637,0.08823641095431431,0.0,0.0,0.055640271096270164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378365621231979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706589495030118,0.0,0.0878962644245263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166439273801292,0.08319845235008673,0.07329990131379215,0.1469235790870978,0.06970801692143909,0.09286765432300476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082047145512974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365518411041856,0.2641834601974846,0.0,0.0,0.13251657530853014,0.0,0.12204471909156285,0.06155132544953816,0.19206873069542146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133278613719505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784718705460036,0.0,0.0795012309902119,0.0,0.0,0.07942995579291713,0.09703497659545114,0.08344860423516481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534874628582609,0.0,0.08912234370520875,0.0,0.0,0.15792422424680275,0.0,0.0831081153737499,0.0,0.13229743890409276,0.07556975390967187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390563344852536,0.08209962914839287,0.0,0.11751069303414435,0.0884782796614619,0.0,0.0,0.28526516602625673,0.0,0.09502730370967112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062413658019791526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514856966938805,0.21275942268745174,0.08155751605199726,0.0,0.09680832415154064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048961816430092564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815181709894026,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cookinganddrinking,2018/01/19,"One of my goals for 2018 was to not get an eating disorder But I think that was wishful thinking.

I can’t tell if my recent wait loss is thanks to a healthier vegetarian diet, depression or an eating disorder. 
Suffered from EDNOS for a few years until I “shut that shit down” to deal with partners mothers death. Developed some mild or serious depression in the last year or so and been a vegetarian for 8 months. 
I think I’m deluding myself, 2018 is not my year. ",5.2763333333333335,6.203436411111113,6.780000000000005,73.17000000000003,68.22222222222223,10.444444444444443,31.66666666666667,10.504223727775694,3.474,367,15,68,10,6,126,64,90,0.271,0.7,0.029,-0.9726,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,7,1,0,6,0,6,4,1,0,0,15,14,8,1,2,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,3,1,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,8,1,12,11,2,10,0,4,0,0,4,3,1,5,7,46,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519496841168796,0.3261460732958449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339861742643423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874717557251065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891916405994734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543324231764065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112453673494095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282975711044524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18694441465741315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434855854907665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548620022597338,0.17431324511281468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639526125102584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772467581613855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657745304770541
mentalhealth,ninjacatpower,2018/01/19,"(28F) Started having panic attacks again after 10 years Sorry if this really long or unclear, I'll do my best to clarify if need be.

 After 10 years of being sort of ok, I suddenly started having panic attacks again. So far three since the new year started.

A little background:
When I was 18 I had my first panic attack and went to seek help immediately. Got my self a great therapist, got the attacks under control but started self harming instead. It took me about a year to get that under control. I was ok for a couple of years, two years ago I attempted suicide and began seeing my therapist again. I have an emotionally instable personality disorder with borderline tendencies. After my suicide attempt I started to look at myself and my issues in a more serious and reflected way and I was getting so much better. Also my (ex) bf helped me a lot and I grew into a much better version of myself over the last two years.

But two weeks ago I suddenly had a panic attack out of nowhere. The bf and I went to a bar and I was told there were 60 more people to come. I got a bit claustrophobic, which grew into an attack, so I walked home while talking to my bff on the phone to calm me down. As soon as I opened my door I felt way better. 

A week later I on my way to work (public transport) I started getting very nervous, sweaty and fidgetty which resulted in the next attack. Luckily I was almost there and got off the bus quickly and was able to walk it off. I was alone in the office for a bit and just did some routine things, like turn on the computer, making coffee and calmed down pretty quick. 

Yesterday I had a major attack while at work. I told my supervisor a week prior to that what to do if I ever had an attack at work. I don't like being touched during the attack since I get that weird thing with bacteria and diseases, I think if someone touches me I'll get aids or lice, which just agitates me even more. 
So I sat on my desk and started feeling a little dizzy and thought I might just faint or something, so I layed down and called my supervisor. Another collegue got me a glass of water and they were very nice, we all thought I was just having a circleroundbreakdown. But then it hit me out of nowhere, I was hyperventilating and I was sure that the water was poisened and if anybody touched me I'd die. They left the room so I could calm down, I sat on the floor for like 30 minutes just shaking and thinking about that toxic water. Since I already drank some of it prior to the attack, I was sure I was poisened and toxic.
My supervisor eventually managed to get me in the car after he promised someone would drive me home. He called my mom to let her know what happenend and to make sure she was there when I got home. As soon as I stepped in our apartment I felt better and just went to bed. 

Did anyone ever have a similar experience? Nothing in my life is stressing me out too much, tbh. Sure, my job annoys me sometimes, the bf and I broke up, but on very good terms and we're still fwb (long story, but we're actually better off not being an official couple), uni isn't easy but I manage just fine... so I really can't find a trigger or anything in that sense. I'll talk to my therapist about it next week, but maybe some of you went through something similar and can provide some insight?
Anyway, thanks for reading.

tl;dr: After 10 years of being sort of ok and working on myself I suddenly get panic attacks again.",4.6974072890025536,5.587404933823532,5.827570332480817,79.61124040920717,69.51470588235293,8.265984654731458,29.63554987212277,8.456263369488248,2.1847698209718667,2705,101,515,40,46,902,286,680,0.152,0.7140000000000001,0.133,-0.9253,1,1,2,0,1,2,72.0,2,1,2,15,38,50,13,8,39,3,43,7,0,6,7,99,91,61,3,8,24,2,6,3,3,2,2,0,6,3,19,38,5,2,11,2,0,15,4,25,0,5,43,8,84,25,81,38,18,117,0,1,2,0,27,41,0,19,61,367,103,10,0.04279180241528073,0.0,0.04175862636560518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586470186306457,0.0,0.04284980885585145,0.04431940196985505,0.047221818050837416,0.03422058893124761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044870935918407344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029921023207728305,0.0,0.03521400728991324,0.0,0.0,0.5841822344706731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490735659042782,0.18922935898688906,0.09343513051565858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739042935266335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03686134873563243,0.0,0.0,0.09598929013910366,0.034165772227948414,0.09469663091883634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044411134952745616,0.0,0.04904311287581122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048135018098047565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028263581916192576,0.07741527032308827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041858593865253785,0.0,0.0,0.021636821050966083,0.0,0.08217368193880938,0.0,0.03911093216870143,0.0363986852742354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649865416830355,0.0,0.0,0.035891733622623184,0.20534708098227056,0.04717811323118032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573648862929613,0.0,0.1287710005584932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044663524062254864,0.04246426101373423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023517255505125,0.034881030314240856,0.0,0.0,0.04649341853132656,0.04375751720293994,0.03022511554985654,0.06271773948802843,0.08577725565993907,0.0,0.07573879711606278,0.035934336638002426,0.0,0.0,0.03638006016413619,0.0,0.0,0.0571277207919826,0.0,0.042990117135317515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04539534003015093,0.0,0.05011724180534277,0.0,0.0,0.09437069538936732,0.031729579277971064,0.0,0.04132858942527679,0.09101913466213007,0.0,0.0,0.04105988851875512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510348006271924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029666447804352267,0.03736415131225999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04353464698700441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428033824847402,0.0,0.054827048747906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034099526251643385,0.0,0.08928236492893929,0.0,0.0,0.10619346346861502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251471064363971,0.06588644023519266,0.04232218677226718,0.047901919387442427,0.21201780598413805,0.0,0.034173588685267806,0.0,0.04901786508829549,0.0,0.0,0.09361457290348013,0.0,0.16132306942488894,0.0,0.0,0.06878885971347258,0.0,0.03939694240402037,0.0,0.14905374234607185,0.0568579441827337,0.054838518260921634,0.0,0.06794382245403882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177880202041264,0.04754326699798137,0.0,0.04654519305243148,0.1254041192029466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105923155538089,0.0,0.10189842288839636,0.1373000109432265,0.0,0.0,0.1586737182067532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461176722492555,0.0,0.0,0.030398068679024764,0.0,0.0,0.22045214216870712
mentalhealth,dabbpa,2018/01/19,"22(m) suffering from depression due to constant failures in life and bad parenting. Help? Hey Reddit, it's nice to be here. I often help or give advice to people with relationship problems.. but my problems are really getting out of hand.

I don't mean to bore you, but my life has been really taking a toll on me and I wanted to reach out and ask for help. So showing me some empathy and deep advice will help me feel better. In no manner I am trying to seek attention, just help.

Starting from the age of 6, my parents are very conservative. They used to beat me if I didn't study and made sure I studied. My mother would sometimes bring out the belt or the stick and I was really afraid cause it hurt. It was their way of telling me that if they didn't do that I wouldn't grow up or learn discipline.

At the age of 13 my dad fucked up and got into a huge debt which my mom paid off, he had his drinking problems and shortly fell into depression later on. He was always bitter and wanted me to be perfect at everything I do. My hair, my dressing, my eating habits, like he was going for perfection.

Sometimes my parents wouldn't give me money to take to school, so sometimes when I felt hungry I would have no money and had to just watch the other kids eat. There's definitely violence, physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse etc. I was never allowed to develop a sense of self will, or selfishness growing up. It felt like they gave birth to a child and they wanted me to be perfect in every way.

They wouldn't let me speak to women, they'd always be suspicious about what I was doing and when we almost went broke, I had to wear the same school uniform for 2 years back to back, even the shoes and socks. I felt so insecure to be around other kids, like they had it all but me. It took a huge toll on me and my studies started to dip. 

They used to abuse me saying why won't I study, they compared me to other kids and asked me to eat their shit so that I could get some sense. I felt really bad because I try really hard and I can't wrap my head around it. In short, I never received their love to cross my inner boundaries. No compliments meant anything to me, and I fell into a relationship with a girl who also had divorced parents.

I became a narcissist, started controlling her and her behavior. Kept fighting, abusing.. asking her for her love and time. Was super insecure and my anxiety shot up through the roof sending me into depression once she left me without any closure. This girl gave me so much love and emotional support I started becoming dependent and was afraid to be alone again. The same parents today and I live in existential crisis.

I've failed at everything I've picked up. Failed college, failed engineering, dropped studies.. chose music, became a DJ and I did well. But to take it to the next step I have no money nor do my parents. It's weird because I feel I never left these women who abused me cause I was used to it.. it just felt like manipulation to get what they want. I stayed because I knew my parents are old now and they'll never love me the way I want them to.

I'm 22 now, with depression.. anxiety.. substance abuse.. alcohol problems and anger. My dad and I speak like 3 sentences in a day and my mom and I speak like 12 maybe. It feels like I'm an orphan and my dad doesn't work. He's really messed my self esteem up and was never a good role model to look up to. My mother is the only food bringer to the family and I buy clothes once a year. I am totally devastated that it has become like this and sometimes I ruminate so bad about my exes, missing the love and validation they gave me.

I've been under therapy but it doesn't help. And now I have anxiety. I fear commitment, I love too hard and always ask for love and if they don't give it to me I feel as if it's going to be bad. I fell for a narcissistic girl and she fucked me up in a couple months. I always attract broken people in my life who want to use me.. and I am always sad. Never felt happiness really in a while and sometimes I think about suicide.

My career as a musician is at a standstill, I failed at piano too, I lost interest in almost everything and I smoke up, drink to mask the pain. I fear for my future and I am the only son. To top all this up, I am Indian.

I don't know how to progress with my future with so much failure, low self esteem, low self confidence, no courage or will. I feel like my existence on this planet is a curse and I always day dream about the good days in the future. Everyone is sad around me and I have no friends, I cut all contact with them cause they have better handling options about their lives and I feel like I just don't fit.

Every day I wake up, ruminate, get depressed, lash out.. get high, get drunk and go to sleep with a empty heart. I fear a lot about being successful cause I have enemies who want to bring me down and at this point my question about god being there for me in non existent.

Please help me decide what's best for my future, how to make money and be successful in the music industry. It's my passion and I love music. A very good escape mechanism and it's not harmful. I feel so weak, and broken because I loved my parents and now I resent towards them for bringing me up in such a ill fashioned manner. I keep abusing my mum and keep asking her why why did you all do this to me.

I have no courage to take another step at life or jobs because I am afraid I will fail. Women just wanted to use me and leave me, my teachers have been abusive and my friends aren't healthy for me. I've come to my corner with no hope of getting up again. 

Will anybody help me realise WTF is going on in my life? Sounds like so much bad karma.. and everyone is getting ahead or head and I'm here struggling to go to sleep. It makes me cringe and then anger comes out.

Please try not to be philosophical or tell me to do this and that.. I wanna know how to get back up on my feet and win. Show everyone that I am superior and I can do it. I want my own car, my own friends and a really healthy life. But it's the opposite of that now.. and I'm growing older. I feel I am mentally sick, and good for nothing. Constant failures at every aspect of life.

Help me? This Indian wants to change the world, but the world is really showing me it's ugly sides and it's damaged me from within. Like a fracture on my soul. Sorry, but whoever reads this, thank you. I mean it.",2.784677269078607,4.393500836656443,4.2205659079181235,86.50945215297287,75.14263803680981,7.328754085201537,24.840290120979304,8.068771183577825,1.3904590849148557,5017,165,1037,80,107,1664,451,1304,0.25,0.602,0.14800000000000002,-0.9996,11,1,4,0,9,1,151.0,1,3,21,22,50,106,9,9,47,0,92,43,12,20,16,213,197,105,1,26,28,17,18,12,3,12,12,5,0,14,52,88,8,6,25,9,7,24,32,54,1,0,40,26,189,52,157,131,17,156,2,20,2,12,120,79,3,22,60,696,241,15,0.0,0.3371615066973103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179386646397918,0.0,0.03379023366870715,0.0633221080850352,0.032746913425449865,0.0,0.02528505831061733,0.15785322168330115,0.0,0.0,0.021501456147401392,0.03315443323983551,0.0725634955790816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026019079609203504,0.08444068829301261,0.14779371619190107,0.0,0.0,0.07293731851145087,0.13199935644482333,0.09637078793477148,0.06983962229365201,0.0,0.0,0.033181343905154564,0.055927446318087534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992237944122256,0.03344785681871317,0.054472548912645836,0.0,0.0683360702683941,0.0354624931096052,0.025244555105307185,0.03498493026248583,0.0,0.08156447766298988,0.0,0.13616352076579236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061947585876437124,0.0,0.097059917828247,0.0,0.07113242509280099,0.0,0.0,0.035262644191186424,0.020883518932232004,0.0,0.07991907635478364,0.09063761797669227,0.08524918201639936,0.0,0.029806819346749176,0.1067377758604287,0.12789687121498033,0.06776413231262017,0.182150547753168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038232845677847,0.0,0.07328441473350189,0.05846102171028365,0.14867281230339133,0.0909931582693366,0.08984674143096147,0.10607936401567772,0.02528795811094608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03365815544048713,0.056647382737991164,0.0,0.06489877776624707,0.0,0.0,0.037467712114045565,0.1907370805383039,0.03340635790994738,0.0,0.031404000847442264,0.0,0.0,0.03384793060954245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031376178767897035,0.05620740717348344,0.0,0.0,0.03475306505960198,0.0,0.0,0.0334791021288032,0.0687065205678603,0.03233174555315403,0.15633005833449995,0.185364629843276,0.0,0.05583888913101254,0.0,0.02655131970611933,0.0,0.03451499375007925,0.02688065785314389,0.2568298907957401,0.02991789964946702,0.0422107800155058,0.0,0.031764725637266886,0.06888296489301565,0.0,0.0,0.03186370286352054,0.0,0.0,0.07406169332511252,0.02523734078780465,0.0,0.06972903185645624,0.0,0.1463154024303978,0.0,0.03362630800915887,0.0,0.0,0.03033850988099635,0.0,0.0331779758399908,0.06734468938666661,0.0,0.048094122599857916,0.03364398765399235,0.0,0.2808661013209676,0.0,0.0,0.04384014922180269,0.0,0.0,0.06941456447154865,0.02988941322419615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101736607297127,0.0,0.0,0.0354196134326445,0.0,0.03162675032252445,0.0,0.18229882230220693,0.0,0.0,0.06789221513337516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02514405692238246,0.0,0.06399860066577691,0.0,0.0,0.13193868801460987,0.0,0.032455621765275014,0.0,0.0,0.0632820565435119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635601165713173,0.035393979552350574,0.08951808177683572,0.033700787858970016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033054201404467916,0.0,0.034585172384725145,0.035879951847518736,0.02979977364979973,0.0,0.09509178779132436,0.0,0.0552713903514802,0.029109784987834505,0.03615816038071374,0.0,0.0,0.020259662022197464,0.0,0.0,0.01843682318246132,0.0,0.029970350884316974,0.0,0.03512897690733518,0.06440003473973266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653983929882027,0.0,0.052176642734116825,0.18649230014573706,0.07529115205087475,0.0,0.0,0.028428553589629087,0.029310382598038063,0.08559150654201297,0.0,0.0,0.03047881070866092,0.0,0.0230184217957324,0.0,0.0,0.04492131568065735,0.0,0.0,0.04072216057294662
mentalhealth,RemarkableNothing,2018/01/19,"How do I start? Hi there. I have no idea what I'm doing here, but here I go.

I know something's wrong. I definitely battle depression and OCD, and my weight is a constant struggle. But there's something more.

I go through these weird mood swings. They're not like normal ones that can be attributed to hormones or PMS or going through everyday life. One moment, I feel amazing and happy and light. The next, I'm planning ways to kill myself. Then, later, maybe I'll want to buy a thousand things or steal a couple, if I don't get caught. These moods only last for a few hours. They never last days, and certainly not weeks.

What's happening to me? I don't know how to get help because the therapists I've seen have no idea what's going on either.",1.939,4.1718869000000005,3.020666666666667,91.21700000000001,80.0,5.866666666666667,22.0,7.03164865440522,0.6185999999999998,585,18,121,7,15,187,98,150,0.214,0.6559999999999999,0.131,-0.9322,0,0,2,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,1,1,6,13,2,1,6,0,9,3,0,3,2,26,25,14,1,3,9,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,1,0,5,0,1,5,7,7,0,3,2,4,13,4,9,22,3,20,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,4,14,73,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536500255433324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690571815213714,0.0,0.0,0.1730990290389309,0.0,0.10089152516241087,0.0,0.1347424337178383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910128753411308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634679672464569,0.0,0.35563618020272136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834029009053322,0.1665343901581857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048591277418415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406290626528654,0.0,0.0,0.353205771602884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307882592737767,0.0,0.17195180247063485,0.25504064593164305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104989291277724,0.07642918727981106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716604618746052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206569700349923,0.0,0.16637681489938294,0.0,0.15327899816310778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120169873088772,0.118980456185754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408719026407269,0.0,0.0,0.11072976936596628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635461361746935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18164009866298111,0.1039324718913862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227297535327487,0.12417561139844985,0.1254875614406871,0.1905030344736663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104371262237728,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,visionary2020,2018/01/19,I found the root cause of my anxiety... what now? I cannot get medication due to health risk. What are steps to take from here,-0.6080769230769221,1.5836739615384623,1.0142307692307675,99.36826923076923,97.84615384615385,5.676923076923077,14.192307692307693,7.1686216300943375,-0.3205076923076917,97,2,24,2,4,31,23,26,0.087,0.913,0.0,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31694616677062143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42561069942602586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542697463864318,0.0,0.0,0.21645997796607416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4403923655073841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.417373935942751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115097066848791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lonelyhumanoid,2018/01/19,"Did I experience dissociation? Or something else? In fall 2016 I started my sophomore year of college. To provide some context, over the summer I was dealing with the reality of my grandma having to start chemo right as I left for school, I was dumped, and my friends didn’t want to see me. A couple weeks into the semester, I was also rejected by every sorority on campus. Needless to say, I wasn’t in a good state of mind when I went back. 

(I should also mention that I also have Asperger’s, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and a slight case of PTSD). This also was NOT a typical depressive episode for me, either. 

For that entire semester, I felt completely unattached to the world around me. Often when I would walk to class, it felt as if I was watching myself, like I was on TV. Think of that one scene in “The Shining” where you see the kid riding his bike through the hotel from behind. It was like that. My college campus, which I became very familiar with, felt foreign to me. It was like I had never been there before, or I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there. I even felt like I was living some days over again, even if what we were covering in class was completely different or if I had something different to eat. 

As far as I can remember this was the first time where I’ve experienced something like this. While there were periods of time in middle school where a week felt like just a really long and boring day or my time outside of school being a blur, I’ve never had a sort of out of body experience like that. Luckily since I got out of college (it wasn’t for me and the stress made me suicidal) nothing resembling that has happened. The worst that’s happened is maybe a random crying fit. 

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this if it’s not too much to ask. ",4.653841929321871,5.650249220630371,5.634258595988537,80.5680450095511,69.68767908309457,8.911222540592167,29.441380133715377,9.188382445141503,2.446681852913085,1394,52,271,27,24,460,178,349,0.069,0.821,0.11,0.8801,2,1,3,0,0,0,42.0,1,2,0,1,20,18,1,1,19,0,31,2,1,1,2,45,51,23,1,7,12,0,6,9,1,2,0,2,0,1,18,11,1,0,9,3,0,4,8,7,0,2,32,13,39,11,49,15,5,49,0,3,4,0,11,23,0,14,30,199,57,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907724397887913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637099762663537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306661910065704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338936310433099,0.07707057051341024,0.0,0.0,0.06339151729221576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015064024761097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915726106072302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287421391676874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121864596735164,0.0905568203486274,0.10633437248023224,0.08499234990995737,0.1420114535168481,0.0,0.0,0.17226517560735946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435702854121789,0.06886830879430167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890210760685397,0.0,0.06945952516648671,0.0,0.0,0.16128490390575187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749338130329834,0.0,0.0,0.0701236940214543,0.0,0.0,0.06369318667918063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691470290063998,0.06593505491800587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458034053091187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291623214590132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957164882573203,0.0,0.0,0.362485584886404,0.0,0.07279631287865991,0.07295708889627411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780070240453746,0.0,0.0,0.08282238210612983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324122204016447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060312085649339,0.0,0.1271661140356827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910371040468002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055863694359727774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636832232796988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052813379954947864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338881170564292,0.07040358277763256,0.0,0.06555985132390463,0.0,0.2503020151563944,0.1313885228068595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819548456440845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039975786512275,0.0,0.0,0.11670336553498395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443510794796874,0.0,0.0,0.09017632940274743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052824428219675326,0.0,0.06544840535473323,0.1442148405635355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802189779454787,0.04862543665228483,0.0,0.13225730385570073,0.0,0.0,0.07642300251331369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856323795299125,0.0,0.0,0.05308886312562458
mentalhealth,AtomicSpring,2018/01/19,"Help: Hate therapist/First psychiatrist visit Only my second time posting bear with me.

I have been in therapy for a few months but  I blow off visits with my therapist all the time. She is nice as far as someone to just drone on about every day annoyances or surfaces level problems. 

She never gives any feedback as far as any tools or suggestions of how to work through anything. The first visit I told her my main goal is to find healthier coping mechanisms. Not one suggestion. She talks about herself for AT LEAST 50% of the session. And not just an anecdote here or there but like goes into detail about her problems to the point where I'm giving her advice. I mean she's just like another girlfriend or one of my sisters to shoot the shit with and vent which I already have I'm looking for real help with anxiety and depression that consume my life and tp heal from old traumas that cause me suffering. Feeling waves of guilt and shame for no reason to the point where I want to crawl out of my skin.

We NEVER go into my past or any underlying issues where my trauma lies. I told her I was depressed in one visit she just says uh huh, uh huh. Then I miss 3 visits come back and tell her I'm getting cover for all my shifts and barely showering and thinking suicidal thoughts. She says, but you were just laughing and joking around, your voice isn't flat etc, etc, basically tells me I'm not depressed. I said ok well I think I might need meds or something because I feel like I'm gonna lose it. So that was back in early December and somehow I was lucky enough that someone canceled and I got in to see the psychiatrist for tomorrow. 

Should I talk to my psychiatrist about my therapist? Are they going to care about any of my issues or just want to hear my symptoms and medicate me? I want to know if there's anthing I can do to prepare. I like to go in to things like this with notes because I can clam up and forget things, but I don't know where to start. I would feel so much better if I knew what kind of things we are going to or aloud to talk about.",4.0937540453074455,5.335842679611653,4.7737669902912625,85.2976084142395,71.23300970873788,7.726343042071197,27.32556634304207,8.131152278815165,1.6610434304207118,1632,56,328,23,30,524,214,412,0.158,0.711,0.131,-0.9503,1,0,1,1,0,0,30.0,2,2,1,5,27,29,3,2,9,3,19,6,2,3,4,79,58,35,1,10,23,1,4,5,1,4,4,5,1,0,11,25,0,0,12,1,0,10,8,15,3,5,11,11,57,14,62,43,9,50,0,6,2,0,41,24,1,13,20,226,68,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107733460227318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915594704448834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256898108831119,0.087001290942097,0.06347183140369042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827724964413019,0.07386090055577096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759763422782647,0.0,0.1011554973512047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338023234434554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459345599261091,0.08523305655602427,0.0,0.07147131790828681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350879323109462,0.0,0.21438584698732874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573020076328439,0.18506698904923144,0.0,0.0,0.0699058128312083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258563917681709,0.059273792518395575,0.0,0.0,0.0758330870301711,0.14114849813749888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043348406346407714,0.1591847899407315,0.18861507744412206,0.0,0.06635869734303132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191570864111831,0.0,0.0,0.0935132326027822,0.0,0.11122609903456153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319827063582713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640049880645594,0.09119629651057364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860417256491461,0.2026747822670288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967391280491643,0.0928222195302206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037866559593223,0.0921609780981165,0.08358355730998714,0.0,0.08801807015035773,0.0,0.0,0.06622587129152016,0.0,0.06099250482099727,0.06152121193221314,0.12798317502089204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706306960653161,0.0,0.16866788043586403,0.06310243222447377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920426386124302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686695756164598,0.0,0.0794623356182715,0.0,0.0,0.15878219058364862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443803709540664,0.0,0.08530699006155024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892348051126173,0.1319621660213123,0.0,0.0,0.06611635669471014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516752409794343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406004423389171,0.0638743681039375,0.0,0.0,0.05872660091115131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075572558154156,0.0,0.0,0.08623761019783187,0.0,0.2000644562570341,0.14503889353070418,0.0,0.09488343861760698,0.2890037334509702,0.16536476595473384,0.106327665879925,0.0,0.06586892098474227,0.09676096141604708,0.0,0.0,0.15856280244324816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681358670259673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460000428970047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040315625942388,0.0,0.0,0.058939515369831184,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Artsygreenfingaz,2018/01/19,"How do I help my mother? She's slowly starving herself and delusional For a couple decades my mother has been getting increasingly delusional and restricting her diet more and more. She's completely dedicated her life to channeling books from spiritual beings, and has been convinced several times she was going to disappear into the 5th dimension, even almost got herself stranded on Mt Shasta looking for the entrance to Telos, to name a few things. She looks about 10 years older than she is from poor nutrition and refusing to use any sort of skin care and is currently eating mostly fruit and nuts. She's afraid of doctors and hospitals, therapists, and basically anyone involved with western medicine. So I count it as a victory I even got her to go to a doctor at all, the doctor is very worried about her health and very frustrated with my mother's inability to follow advice and constant self-diagnosing. Got her to go with me to a therapist for a short time before she got mad at the therapist and stopped going. Therapist believes she has ego-syntonic narcissism, and I could see that as a real possibility, but it just doesn't give me much help. She's approaching 70 and I'm really worried she's going to end up getting herself killed if she doesn't stop restricting her diet, she's basically afraid of food at the moment and claims everything she eats makes her uncomfortable. Her face is also full of precancerous spots that she refuses to get removed, I fear that if the starvation doesn't get her first cancer will. I feel like I'm herding cats when I'm trying to help my mom, is there any resources that I can turn to to figure out something to help me help her? I've talked to her about her issues many times, so has my dad, she's got a bubble around her that if you try and pop she gets very angry. Nothing sinks in, she's in her own little world and she's going to live to 200 and we are all just unenlightened... I just don't know what to do for her besides what I'm already struggling to do.",7.491227485812978,7.220921873056994,7.841783863804588,71.5793696027634,63.4300518134715,11.186577843572662,34.9612632617814,10.712014347399686,3.755290056748088,1617,64,289,37,21,532,200,386,0.138,0.7929999999999999,0.069,-0.9801,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,15,10,3,4,14,0,24,14,2,3,2,52,55,29,1,4,7,5,2,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,10,25,6,6,3,2,1,11,4,7,0,1,8,6,54,3,50,44,10,38,0,0,3,0,54,14,0,6,14,195,64,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062050450717548,0.0,0.0,0.08261435304827983,0.0,0.09104357877434917,0.06597723282726113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122090810260514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057687677981589976,0.0,0.0,0.07344473144524932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020356514572389,0.09295208411622516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411681431790219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865023191227039,0.08915591103669157,0.0,0.06587154632362846,0.09128746554657116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373831782374701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533344654339381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884134279572066,0.0,0.0,0.07307274178466952,0.0,0.0,0.10898426841007727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414794225024962,0.0,0.0,0.0928382683941374,0.04171575138550161,0.058939814441713465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017659859008384,0.09976237072298333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552079914646416,0.07914393176493688,0.281328489197376,0.0,0.3299239969146787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769631729984655,0.0,0.0,0.27649848945206945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611119264667594,0.0,0.0,0.09127681100471677,0.0,0.04534122557145753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058273967460648626,0.040306562314621736,0.08268919595933112,0.07285123379496944,0.0,0.13856267053860022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055071070564506316,0.08364460268930234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662595047369027,0.0,0.0,0.060648842662956365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916338991435726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300919139006844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390592614628912,0.05285322481941735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574382420255899,0.0,0.08606811808703671,0.09320436050509748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351446809244392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379515964206162,0.0,0.08624954371040634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663123978134312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831671232504352,0.054811006160069516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432364293107278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202758651401899,0.08973904701581446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125568513189752,0.0,0.20421965001173076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757062102782785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053128915827380926
mentalhealth,sbanny,2018/01/19,"My brother's cocktail of meds: Him: Diagnosed with ""Delusional Disorder"" many years back. Was seeing messages in license plates and felt a ""group"" was closing in on him and abruptly left his asst. professor job and drove to border of Mexico. I gave chase. It's been a long road back. On meds, he functions (has job, no dramatic, aberrant behaviors) but I'm greedy in that I'm trying to get him back to ""100%"". He appears dazed and a bit catatonic/depleted of life at times. He told me recently that he changed psychiatrists and is on the following group of meds:
Klonopin
Lamictal
Wellbutrin
Abilify
Prozac (just added to mix)

I feel like there might be redundancy/overlap here and asked if I could attend the next meeting with doctor. He's agreeable. I realize I should be thankful to have him functioning and everyone's recipe for health is different but even my brother said the new doctor seems to have an attitude of ""throw more meds at the issue"". The doctor also merely inherited what the prescription was and piled on some of his own recommendations. At the very least he's got 2 ""anti-seizure"" meds there (for anxiety) and now 2 anti-depressants.

Thoughts/feelings/advice? Is this post more appropriate in another forum, another site? THANKS IN ADVANCE! Trying to stay more proactive with my brother's mental health.",5.1348179271708725,7.677304302521009,5.439243697478997,76.25183473389359,71.10084033613445,9.239215686274509,32.34173669467787,9.725611199111238,3.616782072829132,1056,50,175,28,21,335,148,238,0.036000000000000004,0.872,0.092,0.9538,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,11,0,15,8,0,0,0,26,32,13,0,3,4,3,2,1,0,2,8,1,0,0,5,13,1,0,4,1,1,6,1,1,0,0,10,4,15,3,30,17,7,35,0,0,1,0,23,16,0,5,12,105,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047747122041603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222753694147121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21563781665137524,0.07865933364060781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612564945348667,0.0,0.0,0.23719368089389836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122561137323389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877312792349376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209581967311556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856132183921879,0.10436320723387103,0.0,0.10742817766345124,0.11784409624926595,0.31573117304807324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06791363908965001,0.0,0.0,0.09825180796380847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051990411557170435,0.0734567904964777,0.0987262300017028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053720787350599014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223696715261514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859213735998267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732052514186394,0.20407197539553304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117175188744058,0.0,0.07262694427700644,0.05023413683302933,0.0,0.0,0.0909951425774102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042464099031964,0.0,0.0,0.5710660118468711,0.0,0.10362142622396148,0.10907898186087103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930711948100733,0.10935345491639063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847603623575536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152533375743976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780824419779373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193663937745238,0.0936062213332544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959566494124033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933125571953693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995693348599593,0.0,0.0,0.09825180796380847,0.0,0.13962017068316868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483976515292421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621465771827872
mentalhealth,09burke,2018/01/19,"Personality and mental changes Weird things have been happening to me in he past year or so. I feel disconnected. I catch myself in a thoughtless trance often. I have been told I show limited facial expressions and speak in a monotone. I have started to become forgetful in ways that I was not before and frequently forget Ideas or personal belongings, something I would not have done previously. It all feels like depression except I am mot sad in any way.  

I also have been having strange thoughts. Some of them are paranoid feelings that I am being watched, there are cameras, or someone is spying on me through my phone. I feel like  everyone is looking at me sometimes when I walk in public. I often have thoughts that feel foreign. I will have my own thoughts, but my mind will spit out gibberish intermittently. They are thoughts that I don’t think. Sometimes I get violent or suicidal impulsive urges. But I am not suicidal at all and don’t want to be violent.

But I am not sure If I am making all of this up. If this really was happening, would I be concerned that I could have psychosis? I honestly don’t know if I REALLY think I live in a simulation, or if I make myself do this for some reason.

Has anyone else felt like this or have any advice? I posted this elsewhere also.



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mentalhealth,SeekatMike,2018/01/19,"I couldnt do it. Well i didn't do it. I could bring myself to commit suicide today. But it doesnt change how messed up my life is. Im in constsnt pain over my ex who left me in 2016. I was mugged abd have panic attacks abd flash backs about it.  And i had to watch an 11 year old girl die after falling off a wall whilst i was a youth worker. I couldn't do anything to help. 

Ive dropoed out of university due to mental health. I couldn't take it after my ex left me. She had been cheating on me and suddenly cut all contact and dissapeared from my life after 8 years.  Then she made false allegations against me that got me arrested until they cleared me of charges. I had to spend 21 hours in complete silence in a cell for no reason. 

I now have nothing. For the last 2 years ive had therapy. Ive tried many medications. Ive attempted many times. Ive tried ti move on and meet new people. But im just lonely with no prospects of a future. No job. No friends. Nothing. Ive lost all interest in life and no matter what i do i constantly think about my ex. About how much i love her. She was abusive for 8 years but i still feel that way. All i want is to go back. 

I don't know how to get better. I wabt a job i love. A partner who isnt abusive. Friends. I want a life. To be happy. But i dont know how. I cabt bring myself to attempt again it seems so please someone help me. How can i get better?",-0.6480451127819542,1.4633926279069769,1.6513699947543294,97.33134420353208,91.15946843853821,4.630215072565133,18.884507781080607,6.202715092499727,-0.20262657807308931,1075,33,256,11,38,361,157,301,0.145,0.7040000000000001,0.151,0.7749,2,2,0,0,0,2,35.0,0,0,1,6,16,17,3,1,9,0,33,9,0,7,5,36,51,17,2,6,5,3,1,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,11,7,0,0,6,0,1,5,13,8,1,0,12,2,47,9,36,34,4,46,0,2,1,2,21,14,0,1,26,162,58,3,0.0,0.24337544221205445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451683231996249,0.0,0.0,0.11684089125049545,0.0,0.15794643036539227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166709482212176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864745981288892,0.0,0.10768343367027187,0.11098678890693936,0.0,0.08200097247377666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659077835244224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036859550363074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193034583216388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586980704089958,0.0,0.10731744496482963,0.0,0.058369182108421624,0.0,0.08214195688232842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933056519634383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916979640383494,0.0,0.0,0.13768096416748002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114298074875556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218763903125912,0.0,0.2038362063221881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288712038869242,0.08371765717958099,0.0,0.0,0.2231768980816636,0.0,0.2901721467537084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211380199121884,0.0,0.18538915921324994,0.09718122800719904,0.0,0.20825194322924614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034637091372861,0.1035017099934886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915834536608096,0.07549942813453525,0.0,0.0,0.0991923876689042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709496192499532,0.0,0.10777081522101188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928454448948142,0.12050128789040702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120218309625781,0.0,0.0,0.11273840570305813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559705630106003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349807590064277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702096284785253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201973268493812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234176070405176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722080108592705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174512405432716,0.0,0.0,0.06580872512429319,0.0,0.0,0.05988766385393988,0.0,0.0973516034504265,0.0,0.0,0.13945886427057366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115523452110208,0.08152183921230019,0.0,0.0,0.0923434392346402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26455263357070563
mentalhealth,stigmaphobic,2018/01/19,"In SSRI withdrawls because of my pharmacy and doctor. I am so miserable and this is so unnecessary. Dang this story is long.  OK, so I’m in the middle of withdrawls from my antidepressant Trintillex.  But in order for this to make sense I have to provide a back story.
I have been with my General Practitioner for about a year and a half now.  Due to finances and insurance, seeing a “regular” doctor to treat my depression and anxiety is all that has been in the cards for the last few years.  I am having a couple of problems with her.  She only writes prescriptions for one month at a time, every prescription, doesn’t matter what it’s for.  Which is hard to keep up with when you have depression, anixiety a LIFE, etc.  I have to make sure I have the pharmacy fax the prescriptions for refills in ample time.  Once I was left hanging without my anti-anxiety pills but only for one day, so I made due (only because my husband has PTSD and has his own anti-anxiety pills)
Second problem, I obviously need to be seeing a psychiatrist.  I had discussed with my doctor that I was ready to see a psychiatrist and she said she’d help me find one that was on my insurance.  Great, I thought.  Well she kept trying to get me to go to these inpatient/outpatient clinics.  She even said she faxed one place my information, and I had no clue she was going to do that. 
 I care for my disabled veteran husband full time and 6 hours a day of outpatient just was not going to work for me.  Plus I seriously felt they’d try to throw me into inpatient.  Also, I would still have to have a psychologist once it was all over with anyway.  Soooo…I waited until I could save up the money to see a private psychologist/psychiatrist…whichever it is.  It is taking me a while to get in.  So until then I’m still at the mercy of my general practitioner.
And here’s where the problem arises.  Either the pharmacy messed up and didn’t send in my fax request to refill my antidepressant or the doctor didn’t get it.  I didn’t know this…on the pharmacy website it showed as waiting for doctor approval.  I wait, having enough to make it through the weekend, so I don’t make any phone calls.  Then I realize that the Monday coming up was a holiday and I was screwed.  But not having my meds for one night wasn’t that bad.  Tuesday came and went and no meds.  So I went to the pharmacy and asked for a couple of loaners.  They typically do it for everything but narcotic pain meds and benzos.  He said he couldn’t do it.  But he said he would personally call the doctor immediately and to wait there.  He did so, got on the phone with someone, told them I had been out for a couple of days and really needed them and instead of them filling it, they told him to refax the request.  I figured they’d respond that afternoon before they left the doctors office.  But of course they did not.
At this point I’m starting to feel it a little bit, but it was probably more of the anxiety of knowing I didn’t have it in my system.  Who knows.  I make it through the night and call the doctor the next day.  I got the receptionist and told her I had been without for quite a few days and she was snippy with me saying they just got the fax the day before.  Grrrr.  I let her know that a fax was sent out over a week ago and someone missed it.  Anyway, somehow, someone refilled it.  I got an automated call from the pharmacy at 4pm and I went online to verify that it was indeed the med I had ordered.  Yes it was!
But, it was a 90 day script and I only wanted 30 days.  I speak to someone online at the pharmacy (it's a big chain) and ask him if he can change it to 30 days or if I needed to call the local pharmacy.  He said he could do it and that they would be ready in about an hour.  
Later that night I send my hubby to pick up our daughter and my script.  While he’s gone I double check on it online.  It’s not filled and it’s status looks weird.  I call the pharmacy (it’s late at night but the night managers are usually really good and sweet).  The girl tells me they are out of stock.  I ask her how they can be out of stock when they had it filled at 4pm for 90 pills.  She said there is noting she can do…that they were never filled.  I ask for the manager, she puts another girl on the phone.  I tell her what is happening and ask her if a lower dose pill is in stock and ask if I can have a couple of those until the order comes in…and that had I known they were out of stock at 4, I would have transferred the prescription to another pharmacy.  She said she couldn’t do that…then put me back on the phone with the same girl I had started talking to.  I told her I didn’t want to talk to her I wanted to talk to a manager.  She then told me there was no manager there, how cute considering you just supposedly put me on the phone with a manager.  She told me that they would call/fax the doctor again in the morning and see if the doctor would approve giving me a few of the lower dose pills until the order came in.
Last night was rough.
I call the doctor today.  I let the receptionist know that I’m having major problems with the pharmacy, the confusion and without my meds.  I didn't want any more confusion on my prescription.  And I ask her if there was a request for the lower dosage from the pharmacy and of course there is not!!  I ask her to please, please have the nurse call me.  Literally begging here.  I was going to ask the nurse if she had any samples and send my husband to go get them.  I did my best to not lose it, keep calm, get through the withdrawl symptoms, etc.  And NO phone call from the nurse.
Tonight is even worse.
My meds supposedly come in some time tomorrow.  I’m trying to keep myself sedated.  I really feel that if I go into the hospital that they will put me in inpatient.  But I promise all of you reading this that if it gets to bad, of course I will go.
Thanks for listening to my loooong story.

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mentalhealth,qwerfghm,2018/01/19,"I don't know what's wrong with me Will try to keep this as short as possible, for context I'm a 19F college student. 

I feel unable to sustain any relationship with any depth, romantic or platonic. I am so perpetually afraid of being boring, of getting too comfortable and accidentally exposing my 5000 neuroses, of coming off weird, of being underwhelming, of being annoying, of everything, I am so scared of everything. 

I try so hard all the time. I try all the time to make new friends but they never stick. It's my fault because I can't be open or vulnerable with other people but if I was open they would hate me. Lately I'm just... losing it a little bit. The other day I just got drunk by myself (I drink alone... more often than is socially acceptable) and cried in my room for three hours. Today I almost started crying just walking down the street so I just went home and had a drink and started crying again. I started skipping meals because I hate eating alone. I feel lonely, constantly. This sounds so dramatic but even when I was a kid I felt like this, I always felt like my friends didn't like me as much as I liked them. It's so hard to keep thinking that trying will pay off when I am so desperately lonely every day. I have no friends I feel close to, that I feel like I could talk about how I feel with.

I don't think I come off as super lonely or unhappy externally. I go to a highly-ranked university, get good grades, and am very involved in various clubs, community service, leadership, work, et cetera. I've had people outright tell me ""oh you're so self-assured, I thought you must be older than a sophomore, haha"" in casual conversation, not trying to flirt or suck up or anything. In superficial interactions, I'm passable, even a little funny and likable. I used to be really depressed in high school, but I'm not anymore. I never got help for it, basically clawing out by myself, and I think it fucked me up a lot because I think there's a lot of shit I left broken. I feel like I'm constantly in conflict with myself-- ""they're bored of you""/""no they're not that's crazy"" on repeat all day long. But I don't know what my problem is, if there's anything I can do or if some people just... live like this and don't have real friends.

**tl;dr-** I can't make friends, I feel like they don't like me so I stop actively keeping up with them. Lately my mood has been really low and I've been crying way too much because of how lonely I always am and how fruitless trying is starting to seem. Don't think I'm really clinically depressed though because it used to be way worse and I'm honestly very functional outside of this. I just desperately want to know what is wrong with me already.",3.4279192863211563,5.2083209775700965,4.855970688190316,81.90436384876806,73.80373831775701,7.704757858963468,26.925446049277824,8.438071523408619,1.9232710280373828,2133,79,413,38,44,712,240,535,0.221,0.635,0.14300000000000002,-0.9934,0,10,2,0,0,0,81.0,0,1,5,3,30,46,6,2,13,1,41,8,1,7,6,95,91,45,0,8,23,0,11,9,5,4,1,1,2,1,19,24,5,5,20,5,1,5,15,23,0,1,13,12,64,22,57,66,12,59,0,8,0,1,20,27,3,15,34,266,83,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329191590935619,0.13092519838608194,0.06974965389495277,0.0,0.10518530452148746,0.0,0.0,0.08596481674820614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268360276046211,0.0,0.0,0.10402669452843036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19264967609400974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900484017875877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088931524679373,0.0,0.1366069748402834,0.0,0.0504650368477486,0.0,0.2777163322108198,0.12228838120417525,0.0,0.1088788780646056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238360981543402,0.0,0.06467575957415332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834942464249793,0.0,0.05325398046242856,0.0,0.11361137992600465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237128067892346,0.13546364433228447,0.12137579854158627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441649083313525,0.058433147315522786,0.06604529984431938,0.0,0.03592156089144466,0.053014392524504066,0.10110360293930704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324074618372865,0.1248061461805251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236580811384511,0.06678085931172359,0.06340100890787558,0.0,0.062245411199353264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854182192717249,0.0,0.0,0.10420948407422988,0.0,0.14259877608153534,0.0,0.06867376108776697,0.0,0.0,0.2779143711274084,0.12669850804766988,0.05581226497712143,0.055935530474262855,0.0,0.07071161131159659,0.0,0.107471364291577,0.0,0.0,0.08438130757182104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929277131197854,0.0,0.09749709253133013,0.061044977244973736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145773831189184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125553494097113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047983231051344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194253494387072,0.1214746011091052,0.0,0.0,0.06785984391661477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328046933012904,0.06396808593635701,0.0,0.05754058400988401,0.06593788962140508,0.0,0.0648802936502083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443079854242592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789507985608375,0.0,0.0,0.05284324404932735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050802778830728285,0.055245036782750716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025000215310166,0.062099806618885825,0.05017869171584433,0.0737121297940984,0.0,0.05991212185787526,0.0,0.0,0.2574773144212519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917978934716174,0.0,0.10430352950111853,0.03728067600881372,0.10034033733101386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058592814635130476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04601489308300171,0.0,0.0644125550330308,0.04489989705932936,0.13821219504857274,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,handakun,2018/01/19,"What's wrong with me? I know I'm mentally ill and I have been since the beginning of middle school. It has been about 6 years now? I struggled with depression, social anxiety, an eating disorder, etc. I've noticed some seemingly mundane symptoms. I started to have really inconsistent handwriting when I started middle school. I went from having consistently cute bubbly handwriting to really variable handwriting. My teacher has once accused me of having different ppl do my work for me since my handwriting differs a lot. It's dependent on my mood. Sometimes, it's bubbly and then in another class it'll be long and thin and then wide and spread out. And eventually it's no longer easy to read. I don't know what to do? The only time it's ever consistent is when I actively think about how I write, but it never lasts for long. I read online on multiple websites that it's a sign of instability. Does that mean I'm crazy? I know I'm doing better now. Much better than I did before. Mental illness runs in my family specifically on my dad's side. I think my dad and paternal grandmother also have it but idk exactly what it is? I've never been to therapy before, but my friends have been suggesting it all these years, but I'm scared and I don't like opening up so I've never gone before. I also shower infrequently and I feel super gross? I only shower twice a week. Sometimes I don't brush my teeth either, but I try to hide it by not talking to anyone. I'm sorry I just word vomited but I wanted to spill it all out before I forget.",2.26791503070573,4.845965212624584,4.393186348535187,79.81152119198634,81.25913621262458,7.768086177388502,24.07137823416893,8.666027191798058,2.1810633444075305,1223,45,221,31,33,419,158,301,0.136,0.787,0.077,-0.884,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,12,12,0,2,6,0,23,6,1,2,7,47,42,23,0,1,9,2,2,1,1,1,4,0,2,0,19,14,1,0,8,2,0,3,8,5,0,1,7,3,34,6,28,33,7,37,0,1,0,0,7,14,0,4,21,149,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937390134233105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104375626982092,0.08101202292597479,0.0,0.0,0.07404665716053485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604471181143156,0.0,0.0,0.18731714316495485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121017815855967,0.0,0.0,0.2212826778200496,0.12136879611331708,0.0,0.0926724455536564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836054996449077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810476260202685,0.0,0.09579120909079136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983163213123952,0.0,0.05354543724263122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818168782957388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459705274666998,0.08632136926446078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051736632595664585,0.0,0.0,0.18743358824560052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003107359502452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535445515521968,0.0,0.0,0.2134414561718096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784754417191701,0.0,0.2450262347793713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205660850316099,0.0,0.11277839105593028,0.0,0.16108108346647174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118542114121393,0.0,0.1356825150522102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060228206637748,0.21434976621471535,0.0,0.09640596986634832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752005811556897,0.0,0.0,0.10795013171362483,0.0,0.0,0.2094725459389208,0.11854464259422046,0.14991093321760193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070805095353574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110069035348834,0.0,0.08511716120643911,0.0,0.0,0.12110410452309672,0.0,0.0,0.13571089907812306,0.0,0.0,0.06175023668940801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189809489101827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246164841297785,0.0,0.08494534735550789,0.0,0.0,0.09816892232321832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709533144816695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578332876084255,0.0,0.13639025709568214
mentalhealth,DreamOnElmStreet,2018/01/19,"Advice in identifying anxiety Hello, I’ve never thought I had anxiety growing up but I’ve always known I’ve had depression. My sister had severe anxiety and bpd and it put a lot of stress on my family, and compared to her I thought I was mentally healthy. It wasn’t until I moved away to college that I realized I’ve never been happy in my life.

I’ve always been able to distract myself from my troubles as a kid by playing video games and reading, I would just get away from the thoughts by thinking about fiction instead, but it doesn’t work like that anymore. 

It was triggered the worst last year when a friend of mine committed suicide and wrote in his journals that he struggled with a lot of feelings that I struggled with as well. There was a lot of guilt regarding missing the chance to talk to him and tell him he wasn’t alone. 

I’ve always had crying spells where, when I start crying about anything -happy, sad, beautiful- I can’t stop. It becomes overwhelming and sometimes lasts for hours. I thought that was a part of depression.

After my friend passed away, I started therapy and I was prescribed to bupropion, I’m now taking bupropion XL 300mg every day. I’ve noticed the past couple months on it that I’ve been a lot more productive, but I also noticed I find myself getting caught in negative thoughts worse than ever before. I think about things people said to me 5 years ago, small things people have said that makes me think they might hate me, feeling like whenever I talk nobody wants to hear it. I never felt any of that stress before. It was hopelessness before, but now I’m panicked about all these negative thoughts, my chest feels heavy, my stomach feels tight, and I have the prickly feeling behind my eyes a lot. 

Basically what I’m wondering is.. is this anxiety? I’ve read that bupropion can cause anxiety. But I don’t want to stop taking it if possible because it’s my second antidepressant after I tried sertraline which gave me bad physical side effects. Bupropion works for my depression, but the way I feel now is almost worse, but I don’t want to have to deal with talking to my psychiatrist, weening off, and starting a whole new medicine again. 

TLDR: I’ve always had depression and now I’m on antidepressants that might be causing horrible anxiety. Need help identifying anxiety and advice on what to do. ",6.185560831322488,7.20192491422122,6.3761640850003936,76.55663656884876,66.2234762979684,9.631789522845802,34.01175371682105,9.753983421225431,3.3767765081341965,1879,83,330,39,29,601,220,443,0.275,0.639,0.087,-0.9987,0,1,0,0,0,2,45.0,0,0,1,3,18,27,2,7,15,0,32,5,4,5,6,72,73,26,1,6,9,1,8,2,2,3,1,3,0,1,27,15,0,3,21,5,0,5,11,19,1,1,28,12,45,8,52,41,10,51,0,8,1,0,24,16,1,10,31,221,72,5,0.06348443411017148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407250854246073,0.05627512040710018,0.0,0.06357049045382906,0.06575072783456178,0.0,0.050768479021609816,0.21129653924658195,0.0,0.0,0.04317159216892311,0.0,0.3399579283082062,0.0,0.06295949986096896,0.0,0.0,0.05224228004832288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893714687885634,0.0,0.05300685073540888,0.038699521792346654,0.0701135697560086,0.16206173273473087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995642238378972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043200284671005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024431884966972,0.13946933974130607,0.04094220806486412,0.06544966397543947,0.21871620029775252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742530520509472,0.053488373799011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984747450912261,0.0,0.19259782427951028,0.045353292413096234,0.06095501243448041,0.0,0.05802362265920046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809583262714147,0.0,0.06633599319834986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516072119706612,0.0,0.06267773546080485,0.0,0.0,0.07155157115029602,0.0,0.042552277989610005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251937963309795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034965739086777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484093326977937,0.06203057556719994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698609782781016,0.0,0.0,0.04237635273324932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397737788479542,0.13469390445791718,0.0,0.0,0.05067266962990828,0.0674739065780084,0.0,0.0470729034843484,0.1468893278309528,0.061313662060151874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445548980128528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874745562837392,0.06060307577160945,0.08802422635255511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156916074771365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381939079908107,0.0,0.0,0.1270032277992855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077646925580734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171934041875201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278772862773653,0.0,0.13480382764730556,0.0,0.0,0.1061516591217785,0.1454424095633764,0.13273542896075888,0.0,0.06944166697592281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546478743108264,0.15307915017039592,0.05548819360199099,0.0,0.07259998312827506,0.0,0.0843524742444501,0.12203478596609875,0.0,0.3023972964202368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04310176353310583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123342921894507,0.05039098883947887,0.0,0.0,0.05708013043908058,0.0,0.0,0.07087810352416173,0.0,0.0,0.0688461607278302,0.0924348482563318,0.0,0.12939212397040792,0.04509752053446788,0.0,0.0,0.08176378829603705
mentalhealth,lkbthwys,2018/01/19,"I suddenly started to think my parents want me to die I suddenly started to think my parents want me to die.
The way they looked at me felt like they saw me as a lazy piece of crap.
Every time I leave the room I imagine them talking amongst themselves, wondering why I haven't killed myself yet, or don't I see how much of a burden I am?
I'm starting to believe this.
I don't know if my feelings are correct or if there's something that could be making me see something that's not there.",4.847941176470588,4.652323009803921,5.5007843137254895,85.90352941176472,68.90196078431373,7.976470588235292,33.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,2.0693607843137256,385,17,82,3,6,125,64,102,0.16699999999999998,0.747,0.085,-0.8523,2,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,0,4,4,2,0,4,0,7,1,1,2,1,18,24,6,3,5,5,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,6,20,1,9,20,2,10,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,5,8,54,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941607818776312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759423534487286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357709822207518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519836263877722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713696936041111,0.0,0.16546713559417486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906614269112344,0.0,0.0947099561235933,0.0,0.0,0.1824762384692272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841934178046081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447166930500869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503391474550385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668491323646994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827117994785896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746548919728036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653414154749041,0.0,0.0,0.36593550451501305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385150976446895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208486299450592,0.0,0.0,0.10048901941021243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032934652975099,0.1367902695777323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550413208626376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868882731265961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,udiyfjygmyiyd,2018/01/19,"Freaking out about argument with my therapist I have been seeing my therapist for over a year and have made very little progress. A handful of times he has gotten upset with me for not being able to share something with him, sometimes he will purposefully make me upset (I think it is his attempt to get me to tell him things). The last session we had he had accidentally hurt my feelings about something and I got so angry and frustrated about it I could only sit there in silence and fury for the rest of the session. For the remaining time he teased me about my anger: telling me that I have to be able to 'control my emotions'. After a few minutes I got very very upset, I stood up told him to go fuck himself and walked out. It has been three days since then and I am freaking out. Should I go to the next session? I have emailed him twice since then and he has not responded. I am so confused and upset I don't know what to do. I am obsessing over it. I don't want this to control my week. 

update: I really appreciate all the things you guys have said, it really helps. I have written a letter to him that I will give to him at the next session. Depending on how he responds in this next session (one more chance), I will either try again with him or get a new therapist. The plan is shaky though, I might just drop him completely. This isn't even the first time he has done something like this. Again, I really appreciate what you guys have been saying. Thank you for helping me feel supported.",4.025887592137593,5.380494875,4.6464619164619165,85.71377149877152,71.53378378378378,7.8142506142506125,27.64373464373465,8.296473431620573,1.7513229729729731,1177,42,239,18,22,376,145,296,0.175,0.752,0.073,-0.9842,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,1,3,0,6,13,18,4,7,14,0,34,2,1,6,1,38,57,15,0,3,5,0,3,1,0,5,0,2,0,2,15,16,0,2,4,0,0,3,5,14,0,4,14,6,46,4,37,35,5,34,0,1,1,1,37,11,1,5,19,177,61,5,0.2069065423854736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846878656473297,0.0,0.2320632809057113,0.08259901897810802,0.0,0.0,0.0667188014437261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586861463874578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163710056622054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832990993176466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461816467609174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799729962741384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956408821938822,0.1081001286438008,0.09924180449228616,0.11758975620080506,0.0,0.16548206321802156,0.0,0.0,0.20487000676187314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386850939582537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074886648327248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056855212310753,0.08432822374625275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054204267819813,0.103687355884635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978899865980184,0.06905586184896803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974757215061083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991581397608172,0.3300711826957453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010261395190093,0.07868087452501729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988244437954218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840775146501916,0.0822701935627249,0.0,0.0,0.08243886300043733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711552299744768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238930147301113,0.1023179305029115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739754617278846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084543781991824,0.09524587272893943,0.0,0.360351664544844,0.13745951296730982,0.06628867892030058,0.1016423136859163,0.0,0.1809733031449612,0.0,0.0,0.09885403401719947,0.0,0.0702379802887963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560793497111326,0.06101941973130809,0.0,0.08298397394569151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662051479939224
mentalhealth,Sarahthegun,2018/01/20,I'm always getting very intrusive thoughts? Is this normal? all the time I always am thinking of something I did or said that was stupid or cringe that happened weeks or months ago. Literally all the time and it makes me want to get knocked into a coma when it happens like fuck. ,3.420555555555552,5.7412399444444455,3.699777777777779,87.77300000000002,75.48148148148148,5.801481481481483,27.46666666666667,6.742157984588678,1.2657600000000002,223,9,42,2,5,69,44,54,0.127,0.8059999999999999,0.067,-0.6662,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,3,0,4,2,0,1,2,12,15,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,3,1,3,11,2,7,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,7,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183487685897967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099177293448833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277198623421872,0.2573851876861261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4356418218111387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034003385540125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442122859437602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661113001283045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413423521139917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23430774688579545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962999575331646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783259723572352,0.0,0.1955514172177341,0.2872635964484903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324068162497594,0.1452865505071894,0.0,0.1975839064848076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gettingbetterguys,2018/01/20,"Depression is functioning like an addiction. I'm incredibly lonely and the only thing that really helps is affection/love/attention from girls. Its all I really want/need. When I get it, I feel happy, okay, motivated, and all sorts of positive feelings. When I don't I just feel overwhelmingly sad, alone, and worthless. Its like a craving, and when its satisfied I am myself, and when its not I struggle to function or find anything good in my life. Not because there isn't good, but because all I really want it that affection/love/attention. Without that nothing else in my life feels like there is any point.

Please Help",5.4372807017543865,7.497445359649127,6.014912280701758,74.4993859649123,69.08771929824562,10.329824561403509,31.964912280701753,10.504223727775694,3.8537438596491222,497,22,85,15,9,161,71,114,0.08199999999999999,0.637,0.282,0.9578,0,3,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,7,13,0,2,3,1,6,3,0,1,3,22,13,11,0,1,6,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,4,11,7,6,13,3,7,0,5,0,0,3,3,0,2,7,55,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086710033373546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183339974299194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128249328793674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653033033514295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022751874242048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428986017105224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859706080265746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355576434309362,0.11852660315014613,0.0,0.0,0.15163933047284073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668146811455309,0.0,0.0,0.27831596713512097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661497446419366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224128259739228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23437520055389,0.24316669272192504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994816825613687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591957455121999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618252729075827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821200741862201,0.15683919348091088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31885983673591023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17344583684351553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022366522411313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571680264087216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599319482770572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,benjaminikuta,2018/01/20,"How widespread is this view among doctors/psychiatrists? In many states, a psychiatrist or doctor is required to report if he/she believes that a client may harm themselves or a third party. Several doctor/psychiatrist organizations have fought these changes, arguing that it keeps mentally ill people from speaking freely in treatment.

How widespread is this view among doctors/psychiatrists? ",9.918688524590166,13.293866114754104,7.93193442622951,59.92413114754101,59.983606557377044,10.125901639344264,41.70819672131147,10.355215969177356,5.439102295081969,327,18,39,8,5,97,45,61,0.182,0.732,0.085,-0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,2,0,3,0,5,2,0,2,0,8,7,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,5,0,5,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,4,0,26,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33711421696034205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165310869777741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6125209617824411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659571252241077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033582840736009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015395741853393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20743885268429726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33802916102104696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cherishthecrystaline,2018/01/20,"Why do I often forget conversations? Okay so the other day,the following scenario happened:

Me: Alex,you broke my protractor? And didn't even think to inform me ?!
My brother: Because I did,last week? You even told me it's fine.
Me: Oh really? Why wouldn't I remember it in that case?
My brother *Whispers* : You know mental hospital is just a call 
away.

And then we fought the whole day. But anyway,this is just one of the many occasions where I just figure out what exactly was sad in the past? It's been acting a major problem for me,like forgetting a special party,or a test's date,forgetting something that I spent 5 hours studying etc etc. I just turned 15 and note,I used to have a good emmory snce childhood so this sudden change is quite unusual..and troubling to me. What's wrong with me? Am I an idiot or there's something wrong with my routine?
",1.381964285714286,3.985190886904764,2.841904761904761,88.93642857142858,86.55952380952381,5.8190476190476215,22.285714285714285,7.2636822038024595,1.052064285714286,671,24,130,11,21,218,109,168,0.16699999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.057,-0.9586,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,0,1,11,12,2,0,10,1,10,0,0,1,1,25,19,8,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,0,5,0,1,2,2,8,0,1,6,1,20,4,11,12,4,14,0,2,0,0,10,5,0,2,7,81,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255689338580666,0.0,0.0,0.09898244590018684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580328591773588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717714853735736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094372078580079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621826536599568,0.21449464378295827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361926567015692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358789821140894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990691423660391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923719147279494,0.13235750150530715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462301871588308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636360619466346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002967238565846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500555022709786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537118595534227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270606660875945,0.0,0.0,0.10402174364986863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393950622545094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25000880232165923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404350441886764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515651077399312,0.0,0.0,0.1766176458665794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024008256281287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130247632032227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29303681635506235,0.1812861689928072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550636937605215,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mslabo102,2018/01/20,"My phobia is getting extreme. Some of these (like the question mark) were present from before, but a lot of them started to show up in recent months and ruining some moments of my everyday life.  

Example (these are not the everything):  

 - Embossed pattern
 - [An artistic shoes](https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/comments/7ro5x7/i_guess_these_are_shoes/)  
 - Pixel art style tattoos (normal tattoo is okay)  [1](http://i.imgur.com%2F4oz8Cjt.jpg) [2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/pokemon/comments/7io3ho/pokeball_tattoo/)  [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/pokemon/comments/7b2gci/if_were_posting_pokémon_tattoos_heres_my_8bit/)  
 - Digital noises
 - [Glitched video games](https://youtu.be/cdRs8YNk1pI) (jumbled 2d tiles or glitched texture, 3d model is fine)
 - ""?"" character, especially when a lot of them are lined up 
 - ""Zalgo"" style text  
 - [A glitched player portrait in *Heroes of the Storm*](https://imgur.com/a/dFK9R)
 - The gif used in [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/7rnrra/whats_up_talk_to_me_about_something_inquiry_this/)  
  
Do I need to suffer through entire life?",16.956152073732714,23.250525629032264,7.943317972350233,53.888548387096776,50.774193548387096,9.349308755760367,41.11520737327189,9.606745405546679,5.594462672811061,894,40,76,18,14,211,96,124,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.8559,0,0,1,0,0,0,121.0,0,0,2,1,1,6,0,0,8,1,7,2,0,1,0,12,11,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,4,14,10,4,12,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,6,8,45,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24016182035961586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536552773320841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745652116365968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3987028885463616,0.1378861224187767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47989345314514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22527786866354105,0.0,0.0,0.20927421914434816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27653109312243856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161686126158136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27867373626058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997679038284323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24376105425310404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Seddah,2018/01/20,"Going through a rough break up Hey friends. My boyfriend and I just split up after almost 3 years. It was a mutual decision because he wants to move to Alberta and I don't (I'm from Ontario), but now that it's over, all I can think is that he's worth it. He's worth uprooting my life.

But right now he wants to get out of this city so bad that he wants to move 30 minutes out of town. I can't do that. Leaving the province is one thing, but moving to an isolated village is too hard. I'd have to quit the only job I've ever loved and I'd never see my friends despite only living 30 minutes away. At least in Alberta I'd be in a city full of people.

I'm just really not dealing well with this break up and I don't know if I'm in the right headspace to make this kind of decision. Moving to Alberta wouldn't happen for several years. I just want to be with him. He's worth it. Help!",0.7072395833333331,2.4029819114583333,2.8897916666666674,93.34270833333336,81.44791666666666,6.3500000000000005,22.125,7.3871296695380915,0.6603937499999999,685,22,161,10,18,233,104,192,0.07,0.8059999999999999,0.124,0.8587,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,7,0,13,2,0,1,3,30,28,9,0,6,8,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,4,0,3,5,6,1,1,1,1,3,10,5,30,24,3,29,0,0,1,1,13,15,0,2,7,95,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746660814327152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289795651864397,0.0,0.11462349789869265,0.08368492927428844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415301855717963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124178087533711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212517455779614,0.0,0.07172340434761439,0.0,0.07801968172413823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139670824645488,0.0,0.12297637903539205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201623712891993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622973088411952,0.0,0.0,0.1429565336776113,0.0754457822204905,0.0,0.0,0.1453602462870752,0.0,0.0,0.09696528937514373,0.0,0.0,0.12122121204525302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239010268300166,0.0,0.09163581142973164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5836298577681401,0.0,0.0,0.10587919816890384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302483150347747,0.20881603930654896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517302560304912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601472855064396,0.0,0.0,0.08794541477693456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344736237083448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109394798676348,0.0,0.0,0.15508790942550665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912030758304365,0.08796381246753593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32388642414045005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343167195689435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680830469861075
mentalhealth,xgabrielalax,2018/01/20,"Skin problems due to anxiety? Every time I get anxious I feel how my skin changes. It gets too blush and also more hot than normal. Is anyone else experiencing this? It drives me crazy because I feel the urge to scratch it, but I'm afraid of get things worse. Also my mind is always thinking stuff like ""what if this is not due to anxiety and you have other disie that is causing this?"". 

Thanks for the help. ",2.351125,4.686373862500002,3.0599999999999987,90.935,79.125,5.5,22.5,6.6274283507984215,0.4869999999999997,319,10,65,3,8,100,59,80,0.145,0.738,0.117,0.3798,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,5,2,2,2,0,13,13,7,0,3,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,7,7,2,6,13,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,41,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277691743875621,0.17052040349269168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135458728820891,0.2315155924473219,0.0,0.14329369218822854,0.20997774468850888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492505735371465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21052230985975032,0.21679159841801734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711949546586492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266461845323985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207240237346436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32120659524112066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736205312579647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001197540889108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069235833198743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079051144298515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960928944528048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23459888464569426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886744747599718,0.0,0.0,0.13614816404526792,0.13131258415169114,0.0,0.0,0.11949789157312955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088439050339748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Im1ToThe337,2018/01/20,"How do I break thought loops? I keep thinking about the same stuff over and over and it's beginning to negatively impact my life. Considering seeing someone, but would like to know some tricks to maybe help me out, thanks. A lot of the time it'll randomly appear, but more often than not the thought will arise because I will think to myself ""Wow, I am not thinking about X right now."" or ""Why am I not thinking about X right now?"" It's really awful and kind of scary. Thanks for the help.",2.6452083333333327,4.822295604166668,3.197083333333336,91.13958333333336,77.33333333333334,6.3500000000000005,22.125,7.3871296695380915,0.6774250000000004,382,11,80,5,9,119,64,96,0.103,0.7240000000000001,0.173,0.8167,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,5,1,7,1,0,1,0,26,20,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,8,5,14,14,4,11,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,6,5,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743455062120732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582516481951354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712316497678977,0.0,0.20061003141641864,0.1058726058343091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607079891652515,0.0941165733984545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377981559738847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935377078862952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341326393040455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290354054368013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351305347642125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322740924190673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205323349710222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547231056199435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493756325189465,0.0,0.30587708382830264,0.11233279771358017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383206957134328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684941861848174,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnfacetedGenome,2018/01/20,"Just need a place to vent This is the first time I’ve been completely off my antidepressant in like 3 years (I screwed up on ordering my refill and have completed going through withdrawal). In the past it would only be a couple of days and I’d be in the early stages of withdrawal before I’d get my meds. This time it’s taking them longer to ship to me (I order them because I get them cheaper that way). So this is the first time in a long time that I’ve been completely off of them, and it’s made me realize how much they actually help me. 

I’m fine. But I’m not happy. I have no energy. All I want to do is cry. And cry. And then cry some more. For no reason. I feel completely overwhelmed and like anything I do in life I will never be “excellent” at, only exceptional. 

When I’m on my medication, I’m optimistic. I know that I have potential. I have ambition. I want to be the best me I can be.

But right now, I have none of that. 

I hate that I have to take medication daily to feel like I can even function, but I know that it’s okay.

The worst part about everything isn’t the mood swings, or the self-doubt though. 

It’s the isolation. I feel as if I can’t talk to anyone because there’s this stigma around mental illness. It’s not fun to talk about, because, let’s be honest, it’s kind of awkward to talk about. And it makes it hard to be a functional member of society because you have this huge thing you’re carrying, and it feels like you’re carrying it alone. 

It’s like you’re one person on the “team lift” warning labels, and that the second person just left you high and dry. It sucks.

I wish I could tell my managers. I wish I could make them understand that some days, I try hard at work to be the best I can be, and other days, sometimes me trying my best simply means just being there. 


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mentalhealth,ShonClimbs,2018/01/20,"Forgetfulness I've had many issues with forgetfulness pretty much my entire life. It's caused many problems in school and in adulthood. Forgetting assignments, homework, things I need for school, losing things that need to be replaced, having time make return trips/turning around for things I've left. Everything. The amount of time and money I've lost to this issue is more than I care to think about, and it's now beginning to affect my relationship. My girlfriend is often frustrated with me over things I forget, and the frequency of it. Even things that don't really affect her. It makes me feel like an idiot and feel bad about myself, and now, every time it makes me feel like I've let her down, and worry about what she'll say about it. I'm at my wits end with this issue. I need help and don't even know where to start. Normal little tricks and tips people love to suggest, like I've never heard of them before, don't help. This is different, this is something more. Any REAL suggestions? ",5.7009768009767985,6.959019317460321,5.501164021164024,81.5165567765568,67.46560846560847,8.355067155067157,24.59137159137159,8.617729084823388,1.562232885632885,797,19,146,12,13,247,108,189,0.118,0.765,0.117,0.2433,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,2,11,12,3,0,3,0,12,2,0,6,1,36,30,9,0,5,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,2,1,0,18,13,0,0,5,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,3,5,16,5,25,24,4,19,0,2,0,1,13,9,0,1,13,92,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685668831396086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061073099207653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436601248189706,0.0,0.0,0.09617071052709283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152302419889416,0.11610148346777208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808063532106093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001011484674222,0.0,0.0,0.14929575880536228,0.0,0.09522324906169342,0.0,0.10157404792087966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714371674396201,0.16148136697698318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150829525581766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538869242883721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211220000472955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279530279764272,0.11556942346555303,0.07982855064825183,0.16564589256922474,0.11327457105370756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643917538198526,0.12337341706639472,0.0,0.10200391768444336,0.0,0.2263228644307177,0.2291667340736629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308185317135056,0.2514061184243768,0.08716709853690473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073446923660356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835303481957061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498079357954155,0.0,0.10814376850903364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286401854584932,0.07240276436076619,0.0,0.0,0.12133994045981908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987711960455266,0.0,0.2287622042981367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870074263681857,0.0,0.0,0.07999531825217139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754234842758423,0.07241791061552852,0.0,0.0,0.19770658737528696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293204619481833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477612037409472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jenna1997,2018/01/20,"Can antidepressants interfere with psychotherapy in any way? I have been going to talk therapy since October 2017 after experiencing a nervous breakdown a few months prior. I'm emotionally and physically depleted (though a bit better), but still experience weekly panic attacks and unstable mood -- between swings of depression and anxiety/panic, crying spells etc.

Therapy has been extremely helpful and it's been very relieving. However, on a physical and mental level I am fatigued with all these symptoms.

I want to try an antidepressant to hopefully get me back to functioning mode, but will it interfere with therapy in any way? Do antidepressants interfere with your natural emotions/mood? I don't want to put a band aid on anything I may be feeling deep down, as this is important to the psychotherapy process.",10.063667883211679,11.098191452554747,10.296049270072997,51.74655565693431,57.83211678832117,15.025182481751823,45.59215328467153,13.816669648895859,7.510927737226279,667,39,89,28,8,223,98,137,0.16699999999999998,0.695,0.138,-0.8157,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,3,9,1,2,7,0,13,2,0,0,1,20,20,9,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,3,1,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,2,7,3,19,14,4,17,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,2,6,63,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21610450471776893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075487245171266,0.0,0.0,0.18076299611851973,0.0,0.12217841576483345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405273787487251,0.17346930260594834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453579468517558,0.0,0.0,0.13685375545728096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873251686620514,0.0,0.0,0.17720698090711026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554272155622305,0.0,0.0,0.08034075058506558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830146992204867,0.0,0.09030218895100264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650219852416057,0.0,0.0,0.1578159637832973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012612537936116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268263645483661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864259473039402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973070654958402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314374008116338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689164266287314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651499991685359,0.0,0.12771165894133066,0.0,0.0,0.5451217782887814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611093538128887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787748138102284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110283622878066,0.18743765947936875,0.2522427165248985,0.12745386566415234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dont_find_me_thanks,2018/01/20,"Would it be appropriate if I painted something for a high school counselor as an end of the year thank you gift? I’m graduating this year, and she helped me through a lot of mental health stuff when I was struggling. Is this an acceptable way of thanking her or is it a bit creepy? I don’t know where else I would’ve asked this question, but since it had to do with my mental health anyway I assumed this is the best place.  ",5.517093023255812,5.383076058139538,5.387767441860465,87.07002325581396,67.48837209302326,8.275348837209302,29.990697674418605,7.554174236665415,1.5590958139534887,335,11,73,3,5,104,63,86,0.023,0.8390000000000001,0.138,0.8628,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,7,0,9,2,0,0,0,11,14,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,10,4,8,10,3,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,5,4,51,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690817359180691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980371331529644,0.0,0.1974546719339912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108715457939986,0.0,0.16019022031610672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844961074697453,0.0,0.0,0.12122811560271887,0.19109083700081386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939713135572914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376256885400344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645331027434328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896249720154396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260704849461894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304219515744596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961107508498006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923655235177568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890764335878841,0.20704394016338515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33302721555184245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435599904160066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25695862553273224,0.0,0.0,0.2329386450729722
mentalhealth,bentaylor24,2018/01/20,"Kind Words: mental health peer support server Hey guys, we run a mental health chat room on discord. We are a small friendly server and welcome any diagnoses. We provide 24/7 support! To join the server click this link https://discord.gg/GDywwjR. We believe we can all help each other together that’s why we are a peer support server. When you ask for care you will receive it; care for others when you can.",4.295239726027397,7.375810904109592,3.809845890410962,84.00052226027398,76.94520547945207,5.293835616438357,25.56335616438357,6.6274283507984215,1.2038506849315072,328,12,53,3,8,98,51,73,0.03,0.645,0.325,0.9766,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,6,3,0,0,2,8,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,11,11,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,5,8,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,8,4,10,2,7,0,0,1,0,17,3,0,0,2,32,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041989850006755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655451070919906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950756983825307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610880028492203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973161602777732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681091679476332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753362049557019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764537248326792,0.0,0.0,0.11869242571377958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440069147857446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569082799190033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6028419838236446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978639554454446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinkplauge,2018/01/20,"tips for what to do after a really long cry because you’re probably feeling all kinds of exhausted and drained and i don’t want that for you in the slightest: “1) take a shower and change all of your clothes even your socks and underwear. this is the first step to everything. 

2) pour yourself a big, cold glass of water and drink it. all of it. once you’re done, get yourself a refill. this will boost you physically and emotionally instantly—please trust me.

3) grab a snack, something light that you don’t have to wait to prepare. i recommend a pudding cup, a piece of fruit, yogurt, a popsicle or some crackers. 

4) get under the covers. turn on something - TV, a movie, music, anything distracting. or consider calling a friend or talking to anyone nearby, even your sibling the next room over!

5) know that you are loved. you are important. you mean more than you know right now, more than you will maybe ever know. you are worth all the stars in the sky. you deserve to feel good.""
—Maeve Kelly 

 artwork by recipesforselflove [when you need to hide from the world ](https://imgur.com/ZDDvxcz)",3.9882796543597783,6.530706890547267,3.975590468709086,85.40184603299294,74.62189054726369,7.216653574234092,26.499345378371306,8.20500826718156,1.8322577114427856,859,32,158,15,19,263,130,201,0.06,0.831,0.109,0.8448,1,0,3,0,0,0,44.0,0,14,0,1,5,7,0,1,17,0,11,6,0,0,5,24,25,10,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,8,6,4,1,6,2,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,6,17,5,24,22,8,18,0,0,0,1,18,10,0,4,7,100,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866750282927795,0.0,0.13965960591303112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345566766118587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732962798508244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953419460251122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864221183225976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367565462131065,0.0,0.1662544479034265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909046477682633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241881010365323,0.1535154186792911,0.0,0.0,0.15252739327755002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162431280885573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435806749572264,0.0,0.0,0.13112009385640366,0.0,0.17733641524377666,0.0,0.0,0.14234748496536118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673031173475692,0.2798100150001342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019095200486066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317290180878707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704998459233375,0.18486756402553275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125840280013148,0.0,0.0,0.18049204642919686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073915221717687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629426682894765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829796686425022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872270171450236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493425220075706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613072179630981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760329927085848,0.13640914196014006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459936312646089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010131617013666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hazelsparrow__,2018/01/20,"Paroxitine. Started up my meds again today. I feel like a better functioning human being on them, and I can't take all the thoughts. 
The first time I took them I remember being bedridden for days; and I am feeling sick and dizzy atm, but I really hope it's not as bad as last time... ",2.4489473684210523,4.297982315789476,3.968280701754389,86.91663157894739,76.71929824561403,7.3670175438596495,23.68070175438596,8.238735603445708,1.4002028070175438,220,7,45,4,5,73,45,57,0.062,0.7120000000000001,0.226,0.8561,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,11,11,6,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,2,9,3,5,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,9,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22190016973155727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504489273445395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139450453541458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26875450565740483,0.18986042643028134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260570220647043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639616323133481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21663150138467746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298378894042938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952016710675264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025394289888068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010565396323828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810771199315088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981995006726053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098534268385946,0.3099359196655629,0.0,0.2519113019662406,0.0,0.2952713614741012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnnaOrnala,2018/01/21,"Does my ex have a mental disorder? I have known my ex for five years and I am in love with him. Over the years we will reconnect and what we have is amazing, but he is a pathological liar and my moral compass is on a much higher scale than his. After months of not seeing him, I hung out with him all week and it was perfect. He told me in tears (multiple times) that he'd been raped as a kid, telling an elaborate story about the rapist's name, what happened, while sobbing hysterically (very believable). Over the years he has come up with small lies about his past to justify the shitty things he has done. Last night, I confronted him about not believing his ""rape"" story and he told me that it was a lie. He also lied to me for months claiming he was seeing a therapist and was proud of himself - told me elaborate stories about these meetings, and he has never once seen the guy. 

Up to this point I thought he was just an asshole who had narcissistic problems and needs to straighten out his morals. But finding out he lied about being raped? Basically making up a whole life to someone who has known him for years, makes me think there is something actually wrong with his head, like maybe he has a lying disorder or bipolar disease - this behavior just isn't normal and I no longer think he's just an asshole, I feel like there is something wrong with him. He also has a messy history with addiction and substance abuse, so I know he has DEEPLY rooted issues. He is clean now. 

My problem is - Im healthy and happy but I'm madly in love with the guy. When he isn't lying or doing weird shit, I feel more in love with him than anyone I've met. Our connection is very strong. He has serious work to do on his mental health and he admitted after I found out about the lies that he would go to AA, therapy, and a psychiatrist to see what drives him to do the crazy stuff he does. I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with him and why he has always lied to me and EVERYONE. What is going on? Please no ""he's terrible, blow him off"" replies - I know that already, I just want to know what's wrong with him because this is of course very uncomfortable for me. Up to this point I thought he was just an asshole, but now I'm starting to ask myself if he might truly have something wrong with his head that makes him act this way, and maybe he doesn't eve realize it. I know he wants to be successful, he does care about me and he does want to grow and I do believe that, but I feel like whatever is going on in his head is stopping him. 

TL;DR Ex has lied pathologically to me for the five years I have known him. I am still in love with him (the good parts) but I can't understand WHY he acts so mentally unhealthy and if there may be something deeper going on here, like a mental disorder that drives him to be an addict, lie compulsively, etc. ",6.17353534780883,5.589956362038664,6.4168932479165495,81.7485996938602,66.22319859402461,9.802392425874485,30.657123419695,9.19923166143015,2.290220772152616,2226,70,468,35,31,716,237,569,0.198,0.6709999999999999,0.132,-0.9938,0,0,4,0,1,0,62.0,3,0,0,5,24,35,8,0,26,0,56,19,4,4,3,95,101,36,0,10,17,3,3,4,0,4,7,0,1,3,26,39,0,1,20,0,0,10,9,19,1,2,17,7,62,16,73,75,6,60,2,1,4,8,79,26,2,6,27,302,88,2,0.0,0.07564686854721599,0.062304320327393276,0.13920275766300078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045546116681077,0.10211497456346473,0.053124845244351064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044642488910821634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059687232610567936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038919825446825235,0.0,0.0,0.215797161348076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509507891094164,0.0,0.0,0.05499752935398819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951855798952824,0.0,0.22348766475701595,0.06533645101360158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120497746907499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100742673455065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684711018676297,0.09122294759237097,0.0,0.0,0.05835393206680758,0.0,0.0,0.07000365730757288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514022634435167,0.053550853161474184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264348192958646,0.05645865672282805,0.06796507337329871,0.0,0.0,0.1965727236829478,0.06786513185411437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896445253125891,0.06663845897998652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035199408947094,0.05204287293889492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045096197960711966,0.12476739048072515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304934175711011,0.0,0.12785276213237287,0.0,0.1282834356408392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573663202540393,0.06773033628661299,0.0,0.0,0.10192226495732544,0.0,0.04693403133506694,0.04734087404791672,0.04924184016069475,0.0,0.0,0.05991498653438927,0.06255535776632068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679937253774915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913881229144335,0.06094806915774915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008354893104768,0.12070989252273386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218367371818464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263058137932287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553682713104203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409636467485473,0.19660655701195287,0.0,0.0,0.04519040717306417,0.0,0.05098736240848212,0.0533779728090536,0.0,0.0,0.07308820050870933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580406964553816,0.0,0.07301327096382154,0.07412992968861527,0.042416332574051,0.08181965992114719,0.0,0.1013729149369404,0.03722901697872672,0.0,0.0,0.18302228020365194,0.0,0.04334712770250735,0.0,0.0,0.06646576080117693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803848898078468,0.11297377438319438,0.050677848172100436,0.05121327380279486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522186220305232,0.07128158926521737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046480524729011964,0.0,0.0,0.0453542458923412,0.3490269627606369,0.0,0.2055731066541411
mentalhealth,huntrrrr,2018/01/21,"I cant cry? I cant remember the last time I cried. I guess I'm somewhat depressed, it feels a bit weird and painful to call myself that, since I've never actually said that before, actually, I think I've always known I'm a bit depressed even though I've never actually discussed it with anyone, it just feels hard to try and be happy sometimes, even though my life isnt very hard, and I got friends and people to talk to. I'm not sure if anything of what I just said about myself actually has to do with what I'm curious about - like the title suggests, I'm unable to cry, no matter how sad of a movie/anime/show I'm watching, and I've watched quite a few sad ones the past couple of years , the closest thing to crying I can feel is that choking feeling you get, as if theres something stuck in your throat, I can't get past that no matter what, I genuinely want to cry sometimes, mostly when I watch a very sad / beautiful scene, but I cant ever shed a single tear even if I try, is there anything wrong with me? Why cant I cry even though I feel like I want to?",8.487703373015876,4.823618593750002,8.708630952380954,76.95581349206351,63.95535714285714,11.384126984126985,36.04960317460318,8.515128840125781,2.75356507936508,831,25,183,8,9,277,114,224,0.154,0.713,0.133,-0.515,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,1,16,13,0,0,10,0,12,3,1,1,4,35,33,15,0,5,7,0,7,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,11,8,0,0,8,0,0,0,11,8,0,1,4,12,22,5,19,28,6,11,0,5,3,0,9,2,0,6,11,107,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.3333576303754773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106077247798202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059714616254436165,0.0,0.1405560844292889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267026684118008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186472331667608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872043365107384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449497994516634,0.5628562997397023,0.0,0.0,0.14711213162341233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562717008492295,0.07725041900276032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590746697636756,0.061010748302571714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598087851520047,0.0,0.08923737107246837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830326876799286,0.0,0.09407922574180873,0.0,0.0,0.09091133523712028,0.1530056871804749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961350637354717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060321505844743,0.08344558094091681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173358657184475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787017141292301,0.0,0.09087306776908052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305052204746542,0.059206549654745415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083485810690572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674309233208908,0.0,0.1624724992294402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064488710533061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657461388887122,0.1689282565378141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048977066070727,0.0,0.0,0.0686423778333436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056736868494041574,0.0547217428224014,0.2517192063556669,0.0,0.049798219513600105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596383443844265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093013111000413,0.10074386903149543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706144363188644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337298010125317,0.0,0.05499567553505557
mentalhealth,sleep2dream614,2018/01/21,"Laziness or depression I’ve been taking cbd hemp (isolate with no thc) for 6 months for depression. I stopped taking ssris because I’ve been through a couple of years and either they stopped working or were placebos. 

I’ve  been on: Wellbutrin, celexa, Paxil, Prozac , Zoloft , Effexor .

One point doctor thought of trying a different class of medication so we tried lamictal. Thought it was working when I was titrating the dose  but then I got a rash which can be a deadly side effect . She suggested that I not take it anymore 


I do have a history of seasonal affective disorder . I thought I was doing well and stable the last couple of months but these past 2 weeks I don’t want to do anything . I’m not suicidal or overly tired but just not motivated . I use a lightbox, vitamin d , multivitamin and b12 but still don’t want to do anything . I’m trying to figure out if this is some kind of depression or I’m just being lazy. I hate saying lazy because mental illness is a serious disorder and at my dark times in my life I’ve actually had suicidal thoughts and had the symptoms of clinical depression. I’ve been diagnosed with recurrent major depression, sad and general anxiety disorder. I’m on klonopin for anxiety and ambien for chronic insomnia . 

I’m just trying to figure out how the hell to get back to being motivated . I’ve been slacking off on chores and it takes me forever to do them.
It’s been pretty dark in Ohio these last 2 weeks and I’m thinking maybe it’s that? 
I even have apps on my phone to try to get myself motivated and I don’t even feel motivated to do those either. Feels like it even takes energy to try to fix my sleep hygiene as well. 

Any suggestions? I hate that I’m slacking off on things. Right now I’m laying in bed watching YouTube videos. I know damn well I’m not supposed to even be in bed if I want to work on my sleep hygiene but here I am lol.  It’s just warm in my bed . I wish I could hibernate till spring 

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mentalhealth,Mrpuddingaviator,2018/01/21,"How w to prevent domestic violence I am currently living in a household with abusive parents particularly my father who constantly abuses everyone in my family, I have to live in this shithole since they pay for my tuition and bills, I am just worried that I this a abusive behavior might carry on to any if my own personal future relationships. I read that many people in the same situation often end up as abusers from their own experiences with abusive parents, I constantly worry that this will happen to me, even now I am showing signs of uncontrollable anger, and frequent anger outbursts, I even get angry enough to break a door or punch through a wall sometimes. ",29.88275,10.312400441666668,25.313333333333336,20.445000000000007,48.75,28.66666666666667,84.16666666666667,18.243605946275586,12.314416666666665,543,29,82,14,2,178,85,120,0.317,0.675,0.008,-0.992,3,0,0,0,3,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,2,1,5,0,6,0,0,1,0,13,8,6,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,4,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,15,0,18,6,4,15,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,4,7,65,22,2,0.0,0.7168767223089978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228996366119544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615345072717168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717765819128862,0.12503417992815666,0.0,0.15985001222895806,0.0,0.0,0.11562885537468966,0.0,0.1183695817658269,0.11407609159513812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322197300903581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070074612597282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137055335216392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268367680793643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283709488852866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26873134908769153,0.0,0.0,0.08389209227579535,0.10565999847258538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104129678104512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991789667414494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009952315095813,0.1360186804267763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968055027779904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457801131418668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DuckLeague,2018/01/21,"I want to go insane I don't really know why.  I just feel like I am insane and by being sane I'm not myself. Besides I feel like I'm always on the border of insanity and I don't know if I am or not and maybe it's easier to be insane than sane. I really hate being in limbo tho. I actually went through a time in my life when I abused shrooms and other drugs and I lied to myself and said that it was just because I enjoyed it but in reality I know that I enjoyed losing grip of reality. The worst I think I've gotten was I was violently slicing my legs and laughing hysterically for a while then I suddenly realized what I was doing because at the time I was completely unaware. It was pretty troubling for the next few days but I got better. That's why I haven't seen a doctor is I always end up being fine not long after my little breaks and then there's the part of me that wants to be crazy. Maybe that part of me is causing me to act crazy but that's all it is is an act for myself to fulfil my desire. I actually started writing this with a point but I don't even know rn and im probably just rambling but anyway.

Tl;dr: lmao what am I?",0.4558911819887434,2.4881277723577253,3.4975609756097583,86.83885553470921,84.28455284552845,6.061038148843028,20.03064415259537,7.321109707123232,0.6135139462163854,896,26,193,14,26,321,123,246,0.163,0.695,0.142,-0.669,0,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,12,2,0,10,0,23,4,1,1,1,37,42,21,0,4,13,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,15,10,0,0,8,0,0,4,7,5,0,0,11,5,35,7,24,26,5,26,0,1,1,0,2,8,0,2,15,142,50,1,0.0,0.15946724072504082,0.26268101346870965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239794626732966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408973147729491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190339915913801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382610903954055,0.0,0.0,0.14111514196435782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679946955804121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775865362817344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608176744500768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920686561063586,0.0,0.0,0.08889548086424184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610558048887852,0.19230236522323008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649064613591808,0.0,0.10764398488790006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287984327757696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453803860553545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958687604330301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950649563437826,0.13150783287219894,0.13489462184438686,0.0,0.11910798867737148,0.0,0.15057187673111694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27042765821303594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313808079296714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29149588964786755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723113235547825,0.0,0.0,0.13692650102312695,0.14511087392371685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244370785218927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802599031650375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526355389888574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623989105737237,0.0,0.0,0.1569611201763813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876943682461991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476635589158445,0.2428932325897031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ishoulddiethrowaway,2018/01/21,"I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and now I'm terrified to see him. Hello all! I am a 21-year-old male (in the U.S.) and I just made my first appointment with a psychiatrist. I am a full-time student at a college in the bay area in California and I moved out here from the east coast in September. I’m not sure if I made the right choice in choosing a psychiatrist over a psychologist but I’m going to give it my best shot and see how it works out. I’m also not sure how I’m writing this because I usually hate writing but maybe the possibility of getting help gives me the motivation that I need. So, I know that I need to get help because I felt something was wrong enough to make an appointment and I also spent the last few days in bed not responding to texts from friends and not showering when I used to be on top of those things when I first moved out here. I also was outgoing and talked to people and made a few friends when I first moved out here. I feel like I have been steadily declining over the last couple months. I know that no one here can provide a diagnosis, but it would be nice to maybe get a suggestion on what I might have in case it’s blaringly obvious to everyone but me. I also think this is a good chance to get my thoughts out so that when I go into my appointment I already know what I’m going to say before I walk in so that my mind can’t convince me that I have no problems and minimize everything I’m going through. I’ve had appointments with a therapist and a psychologist years ago, but I never told them the full truth because I was embarrassed, and my brain told me that everyone else goes through the same thing that I am going through. I know now this isn’t true because normal people don’t all of a sudden not give a shit about all their friends and just lay in bed with their door locked for three days straight while only eating candy. When I first moved to California I was excited to be going to college classes because I had taken three gap years and I felt like I had finally learned the value of hard work (my last year in high school was a disaster). I was getting up two hours before school excited to go to class every day. I immediately started striking up friendly conversations with random people in the school cafeteria every day and now I have at least 6-7 friends who I could text and probably hang out with today. About halfway into last school quarter I started having extreme writers block and couldn’t get hardly anything down on my second paper for English (this may have had to do with getting distracted super easily and not being able to focus). I looked through the documents on my computer and saw that I had written a rant that day (which allowed me to write with no constraints) about how I hate school so much and how writing is so hard and about how reaching the wordcount is complete bullshit. I also started doing the homework for my favorite class, humanities, in a panic like thirty minutes before the class started as opposed to days before like I did the first couple weeks. It even got so bad that I gave up a few days and just turned the assignment in late. I barely passed my English class because I didn’t write the last paper until I was panicking after I took the final (most teachers don’t accept work after the final, but I wrote it in like 10 minutes after I took the final and my teacher was kind enough to accept it). Anyways those were the struggles of last quarter. This quarter I am taking philosophy which I should be in love with because I’ve loved it in every other context, but I’ve already missed two of the class periods in two weeks because I woke up and decided I didn’t care (I managed to get to my next class one of those days which starts an hour later). Last weekend I didn’t do any homework until I read one chapter of the three that I was supposed to read Sunday night in a panic. This weekend I stayed in bed in until at least 3pm everyday and then when I got up I didn’t feel like taking a shower and instead just stayed in my pajamas all day (and wrote a post on suicide watch one of the days). Today I managed to force myself to take a shower and put on regular clothes. I think that the fact that I lost my motivation for something that I should be excited about and then my failure to maintain basic hygiene and my failure to contact back my friends indicates some sort of problem. My original theory is that I may have adhd or some form of anxiety which causes me to not be able to focus which in turn causes my grades to decline and then I begin to get embarrassed to be alive and to show my face to anyone and hence avoid everyone (not sure if this is it or if something else is at play here). Another important thing to mention is that I have an extreme masturbation addiction. I wouldn’t call it a porn addiction because if I don’t have porn I just jerk off without it. I’m not sure what this does for me, but it may have to do with allowing me to relax. I do it before I go to sleep every night and usually do it in the morning. On average I do it like 3-6 times a day. I’ve tried to stop multiple times but after a couple days of abstaining I get bored doing something else and I decide I don’t case about my abstention anymore. I think I have a problem, but I’m terrified of going to the doctor because I think it’s going to be awkward conversation (like all my previous experiences, anxiety?) and I think my biases won’t allow me to tell the truth and get an honest diagnosis. What I mean by this is that when I look in the mirror I see a normal health person and so my brain then begins to tell me I don’t need a doctor. Also, if I go in believing that I have adhd then I will tell the doctor all the times in my life where I felt I couldn’t focus but that may not be what I have I could just be exaggerating experiences to convince myself that’s what I have. I was diagnosed with depression last time I saw a doctor but I’m not sure that’s it because it was a shitty doctor and I don’t think I was telling the truth at the time. I also think that it may not be depression because it comes and goes in seasons and seems to be only when I’ve fucked up somewhere (like if I am stressed about an assignment, grade or seeing people). I also think its important to mention that I am an extreme adrenaline junkie. I’ve sat down on the edge of cliffs and ridden a motorcycle over 100mph (before I sold it to move, I would ride it as fast as it would go every time I rode). My theory on this is that maybe since I used to be suicidal it’s a way for me to convince myself that I won’t actually kill myself or it may be a way for me to find the extreme focus that comes with an adrenaline rush. Hopefully someone has some insight into this and can let me know what they think. Oh and forgot to mention that I quit my last job as a barista before my move because I was having panic attacks twice a day. Panic attacks meaning that I couldn't breathe in more than halfway or else I would get a sharp pain in my chest (these lasted for like 15minutes to 30 minutes each).
P.S. Sorry for the long read.",7.44379472294451,5.8164131168289295,7.915572957610209,75.43118572494004,64.21557719054242,10.923158170567012,35.58327790207817,9.761364909221204,3.2239538287879705,5634,212,1121,93,69,1874,462,1438,0.13,0.743,0.127,-0.8814,5,1,4,0,0,2,94.0,0,0,4,15,54,75,8,11,83,0,112,25,7,20,18,227,229,107,3,27,42,0,9,10,6,17,11,1,9,3,87,67,2,6,33,8,2,30,35,30,0,20,52,19,163,45,179,139,24,207,0,4,9,5,48,72,2,26,110,803,250,42,0.06216311434469005,0.0,0.030331116231684368,0.06776697025601143,0.07470798331841158,0.0,0.027551925079436768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859854246312654,0.19884728033013604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021136524709205164,0.03259172274609733,0.047554612325761685,0.0,0.03082455285141188,0.021732947457103947,0.0,0.025577473232536015,0.0,0.0,0.07071951672564829,0.0,0.02389979891550689,0.025951801961397684,0.24631137392781294,0.0,0.1851368112216635,0.03501827133293378,0.03261817667268528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939459418491213,0.031737744999386065,0.0,0.0316897190144028,0.06385864204992497,0.0,0.0535480187096387,0.032588421343832136,0.0,0.0,0.04963218854558407,0.1031734554916022,0.0,0.2605854298202056,0.0,0.0535409992965778,0.03154712626829161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906645402120775,0.027199680136436737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03180419250656357,0.10385861087675588,0.0,0.0,0.0642311143659653,0.0,0.020529075375186747,0.0,0.13093776227134676,0.08909927954713842,0.027934099436127773,0.06080745399554684,0.0,0.0,0.031431538405274184,0.04440934130862413,0.08952950737351327,0.13619330651116754,0.02840798016563815,0.1321897832638792,0.0,0.0,0.14408120382130554,0.0287343987642932,0.19486596934303835,0.08944878546567142,0.2119723825897176,0.026069735501671142,0.04971752125001591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352891055925471,0.06137320574606792,0.0,0.03303824183506425,0.0,0.0,0.04166662520303309,0.032839371648486736,0.0,0.03087099940252581,0.06121814582369689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030843649530603763,0.0,0.0343871378953853,0.03236665883611603,0.08540805484488884,0.2533561749563581,0.035061350307742975,0.0,0.0,0.03178299804864918,0.021953823021676,0.15184878844312547,0.0,0.0,0.02750620001796087,0.05220135986912893,0.0,0.03392919127129818,0.0,0.056104637706106616,0.11764048366834085,0.020747180764787168,0.0,0.09367680547454793,0.06771385526279805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03297262038210695,0.03138351238810446,0.0,0.024809002399613443,0.1982086583277733,0.022848520811477917,0.06913974243093883,0.023972013008532637,0.0,0.03305558866536713,0.0583358717676392,0.060906653578906164,0.0,0.0,0.0326148657716901,0.0,0.08424667014801232,0.047277849636351066,0.03307296824409478,0.14587004178456509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619215284113341,0.02713921685134376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035039785622038126,0.029767540035143494,0.0,0.03351117559157613,0.08922255767384701,0.0,0.031245549741902086,0.0,0.033059061957284516,0.09326990484940126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026543479998439524,0.0,0.0247173017858062,0.0,0.15728097611777708,0.09907190769434487,0.028295482308054544,0.0,0.0,0.03190477178343385,0.025710985280913232,0.0,0.03110400390121745,0.0,0.026335302528662573,0.09571240487505883,0.0,0.03479325856987478,0.10999843071241312,0.06625760882589246,0.0,0.025985573536082097,0.03560381872730136,0.032493192086109825,0.0,0.06799635761136215,0.0,0.14646999899907628,0.0,0.07010838853825956,0.02498217830667057,0.10866660377486816,0.0,0.0,0.03608808348790235,0.06194761647337984,0.1792422613598977,0.0,0.02467528455121529,0.10874343563073627,0.0,0.05892336385658922,0.059399519698092276,0.0690655073145569,0.02110233707302564,0.0676156178193783,0.09108649509145443,0.0,0.0,0.05368897189745372,0.06846388811203229,0.0,0.0,0.04934218671201232,0.049863500706055684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02996151196618638,0.0,0.06788323140307945,0.0,0.0,0.08831778576717196,0.033982803503371656,0.0,0.08006201508043738
mentalhealth,WiltingCarnation,2018/01/21,"I have bad anxiety and I don't know how to get help Hi. 
I'm a college student and this semester I've been hit with very bad anxiety.
It's not just school starting again. My emotionally manipulative mother is also sick and I don't have enough of my own income and have to rely on her for support.
Every little thing that happens makes me extremely upset and depressed and a keep lashing out at my one friend by mistake.
I tried going to therapy through the university counseling center, but I never liked any of the therapist I tired and they ended up making me feel worse or got to the point where they weren't helpful so I quit going.
Next semester I transfer to a new university.
I just don't know what to do. I keep crying all the time and feel sick to my stomach.
",2.7570779220779222,4.837943019480523,4.637662337662338,81.40506493506496,76.59740259740259,7.5168831168831165,26.584415584415584,8.418075326091056,2.00894025974026,611,24,117,12,14,208,101,154,0.236,0.728,0.036000000000000004,-0.9835,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,0,1,7,0,10,4,1,4,2,28,27,13,0,1,5,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,10,0,2,4,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,3,2,19,3,17,23,3,17,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,1,8,81,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535373594622534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659607042428423,0.0,0.23982820611322025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617611123468607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218363759808875,0.0,0.0,0.13500942586647166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763238020406988,0.13883487963983498,0.1619657082841734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206949695184336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851605348976958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110545103521494,0.0,0.0818959395216177,0.0,0.17817043666830376,0.0,0.12536811205721718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861441139200215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101338122321716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786550218904675,0.0,0.0,0.1722925249879314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658063172360717,0.1571057043727484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092650492297297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089605183564235,0.15139111416973589,0.16670649057813589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621854949737708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818038253525487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667240071412854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864040316286415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094918041729553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787920258695009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792584550521686,0.1820000185403492,0.10413841409695124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140278169463624,0.1801622411923424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064236547729901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933600973952694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974268339616546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heckingtrash,2018/01/21,"Depressions coming back Heya, I just want to rant for a bit because for some reason I can't seem to actually talk about it with my SO. I physically choke up and can't say it.  I hope SO will be understanding of that, and I hope he forgives me.  But recently my depression has come back and has hit me like a stack of bricks, I feel numb to everything and everything I do is just boring. That mixed with anxiety-the need of having to do something entertaining and now is really getting to me.  I'm more depressed at the fact that I can't get a job, I've applied for way over 30 jobs now and have heard nothing, it's soul crushing for me but I don't blame the employers, I have no car, no experience and a shitty resume. I've actually considered stripping or being a cam girl or something like that as a job to earn some form of income, which is something I never ever wanted to do. All of my friends are succsessful and having the time of their lives (and I'm truely happy for them,  I really am).  I even have a friend that's a model, I'm stoked but obviously envious because she is absolutely stunning! Altgough she always always complains to me about being broke and having no money and I almost always want to grab her and scream at her. I only make $290 a fortnight (2 weeks). My boyfriend is jobless and isn't making too much of an effort but he currently has no car as well so I don't blame him.  Honestly I've thought of death a lot but I don't even want to die anymore, I feel like the void and all of my years worth of bad luck coming down on me. I have a justno dad and mother in law that gives the shittiest fucking advice. Also the pshycologist/phychiastrist wont be back from holidays until a few weeks.  I know my depression will pass evenrually but right now I'm going through a tough time, i feel as if I'm getting no help what so ever, while every other 18-19 y/o I know is having a great time.  I'm envious. ",3.1467257383966256,4.414580200000003,5.049303797468358,82.31285864978905,73.58227848101266,8.20337552742616,26.07805907172996,8.745826893841286,1.8553780590717293,1509,51,310,29,30,519,199,395,0.195,0.662,0.142,-0.9749,7,0,3,0,1,1,39.0,0,0,2,2,21,28,3,0,21,0,36,2,0,3,7,63,70,34,2,8,11,2,4,3,2,3,1,3,0,1,12,20,0,0,10,2,2,7,14,14,1,0,2,7,41,14,42,60,10,35,1,5,0,1,21,8,1,11,22,211,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.18307167806695065,0.0,0.0,0.0916608450239523,0.0,0.0,0.09392773535470103,0.0,0.0,0.07501229309164832,0.23414880015120734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302497430471264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163805772677406,0.07831956954111767,0.11435993069473245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240594352976072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242402692192058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32316122201815844,0.0,0.0973501969326466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390880208267376,0.16969599672617228,0.07903103755972694,0.0,0.1686038331065068,0.09175497001916194,0.0,0.0,0.1422851809044633,0.067011155912595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494019694709154,0.08671712837473672,0.14702080090489258,0.08998206732192393,0.05330903349128388,0.0,0.0,0.10341547494458177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998524658242893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287255418692486,0.0,0.0,0.1863302893653638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27924781769379875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310069567802156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747868179515033,0.0,0.08282763412985195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797459021294667,0.0,0.0,0.1252252363136001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895422203313713,0.06955194445237979,0.07234479296100617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000419011102549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713395709064143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018211195286035,0.09644262276071867,0.0926167604589839,0.0,0.0,0.08010518617139945,0.0,0.07459398923287645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539252872002848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21663681660843886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539335627207105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446718602547826,0.16408762446803946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097649715942075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213040588005057,0.07445453747779245,0.15048234095345156,0.0,0.084337989963877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060404500687672315
mentalhealth,stfromatz,2018/01/21,"book about suicide I recently wrote an ebook about my battles with mental illness and, in particular, suicide. I thought it might be of interest to some of you in this group. Sorry for the shameless plug.
https://www.amazon.com/Suicidal-Thoughts-Reflections-Troubled-Mind-ebook/dp/B078ZPJ2X9/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1516558126&sr=1-1&keywords=Derek+McDaniel",24.264210526315786,32.60586015789474,12.52663157894737,18.78942105263161,39.526315789473685,7.2505263157894735,33.915789473684214,8.238735603445708,3.5222989473684216,338,10,27,4,5,81,33,38,0.36,0.58,0.06,-0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,2,36.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,21,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7967630475716174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852676651821568,0.19502538255102028,0.1856261782762699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152000245032898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579403408497904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40218264431383066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459485704620403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,matharooudemy,2018/01/21,"My unpopular opinions causing dilemmas and sadness Long story short: I have trouble believing in my opinions.

Last month I watched The Last Jedi. LOVED it. Came home, watched the videos about it on YouTube - people hate it, apparently! Now I feel like I should hate it too. I can't love it anymore. I feel sad and conflicted - one side of me says ""you love it!"" but the other side says ""but they hate it!""

Last week I finished an anime (Death Note). There's this character who became my favorite (Near). I love this character, but turns out that most people hate him. Now I can no longer be a Near fan.

In my brain, I know what I love: I love The Last Jedi, I love Near. But, whenever I think of them, my mind also brings in all the hate I saw on the internet.

I know ""you shouldn't let others' opinions affect you"" and at the end they are just opinions, but I think this is a serious problem. Why can't I believe in my opinions? I can no longer look at The Last Jedi and Near and feel the same amount of love/happiness I used to feel before reading the popular opinion on the internet. I just have to *force* myself to love what I truly love, not what the popular opinion is - but it seems like I'm too much a slave to the popular opinion.

P.S.: If this is the wrong subreddit to post this, please direct me to the correct one. Thanks!",1.7636616161616168,4.024463295454549,3.0180303030303044,90.840101010101,80.81818181818181,6.183838383838387,23.792929292929287,7.3871296695380915,1.0263595959595953,1026,37,214,15,27,331,127,264,0.235,0.6459999999999999,0.119,-0.9893,1,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,3,3,0,9,26,5,0,19,0,14,10,1,3,2,46,45,13,1,4,10,0,4,2,0,2,0,2,1,0,20,7,0,1,9,2,0,2,6,11,0,2,2,10,38,15,24,39,5,32,0,2,4,9,19,17,0,11,14,144,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062046641931825526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694588491448746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602119067858972,0.1748289351593822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661323464413588,0.0,0.08873935352837348,0.0,0.07970366586751497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871943623887126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15692214894249426,0.05542847745324341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259326488579666,0.0,0.38300763428217904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782652113233167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528004789615673,0.3162205657052013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933840668760013,0.0,0.07581060108979916,0.0,0.0,0.06866243644212172,0.06515390260861093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7002568726484152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834118937809244,0.0,0.06192954858699475,0.0,0.057035690389446274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051505048083905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075787133882461,0.0,0.0,0.08516770208141641,0.0,0.0,0.07430731341903754,0.0,0.0,0.07424069472196304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760842900270981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340128129515986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063268478769698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143208386805182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942978811508227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439284703060253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701063066044449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223595854344869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001059009604638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482967782360896,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whitners,2018/01/21,"I need help, but I don't know what to do I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this as most of the posts here seem more urgent than mine. I just feel stuck at the moment. 

I started getting treated for anxiety in November of 2016. That was my first year of college and I was in a very dark place. After starting on meds, I was doing well until my long time boyfriend and I broke up. My grades tanked. I became suicidal. Lots of changes started happening as I moved in with a friend, started working at 3 in the morning, taking 19 hours worth of classes, and taking care of my niece at night. Again, my grades tanked and I was struggling. I even upped my medication at this point. 

Fast forward to now, I'm in what should be a pretty good spot. I'm in an amazing relationship with a guy that loves me and understands my struggle with anxiety and depression. I have a new job where I am working full time that I love. I am participating in a community activity that is forcing me to make friends and be active. My problem is that my grades in school are still terrible.

I do genuinely have a passion for the field I am studying to be a part of, don't get me wrong. The professors, for the most part, are willing to work with me. I really don't quite know what's wrong. I don't feel motivated to do anything related to college. It's like once my grades dropped, they never came back up.  I don't know if any of you have experienced this before, but I am not sure what to do or how to take my next step.",2.7136363636363647,4.247971246753249,4.079735064935068,87.75617402597406,75.16883116883119,7.395532467532468,26.60571428571428,8.109356740369918,1.524124779220779,1176,44,255,19,25,388,160,308,0.127,0.688,0.185,0.9714,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,1,6,10,21,0,2,16,0,31,4,0,3,3,39,58,16,1,5,8,0,2,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,14,12,0,0,8,0,1,4,8,8,1,1,6,3,39,13,46,47,7,51,0,2,0,3,9,23,0,7,24,179,53,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017254717641279,0.0,0.15787970457755646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491634607660455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934652408467079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780685024943627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180215480273752,0.10520879535021106,0.0,0.109161039813795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887715342757202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815583593200827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435164445982736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777312192940133,0.0,0.0,0.15944824123935675,0.0,0.10782473794321304,0.0,0.0,0.08655064016133687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217404488162954,0.09125032737154276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916589323381962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162108683824947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239987327890412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701311121001402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050413284195512616,0.0,0.0,0.0913196537727696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772820865719469,0.18626549966999592,0.0,0.06887993844894191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462051491130665,0.103952785383744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967434033925903,0.0,0.07651386883210615,0.07958627243116427,0.09966127324282008,0.1097434363963516,0.09683656064587184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098936825643288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234888189652214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156225862566291,0.0,0.09754763794468352,0.0,0.19765445229812476,0.1049810411929515,0.0,0.09873862462737353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975496760804718,0.0,0.0,0.06610597606097565,0.0,0.0,0.11078714010571138,0.0,0.08812345586810097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443350426260307,0.0,0.09394004428157376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292152855767686,0.0,0.08240744257211992,0.0,0.0,0.21575259754805054,0.0,0.11287280378286407,0.0,0.1945101771667425,0.0,0.2327574788120549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034150949453795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742413624682932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514232474922755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277994961129762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253700323802697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564351659840945,0.0,0.06645079557265038
mentalhealth,Helloypres,2018/01/21,I hate myself so much I’m 16 male  and I am not sure what is going on in my head I usually am a very happy person but the last month and a half have been hell I hate myself. I feel like a useless sack of shit on weekends I never leave bed and when I do it’s to get drunk and high with my friends as my only escape. My Job is making things worse i recently started a retail job and the manager hates me I can sell like crazy but I can’t clean the store right and never have been able to and now I dread going in because I know I’m going to get shit on for fucking something up the last time I was there I have been threatened to lose shifts. I tell my parents everything is okay and that I’m happy because anytime I bring it up they don’t understand they won’t just sit and listen they tell me things will get better and that I’m not the only one it usually ends up with me walking away to my room where I will cry for 10 minutes then hate myself for that and call myself a pussy and bitch boy who can’t just handle his problems. I don’t have suicidal thoughts but I feel as though if I were dead all my sadness and grief would be gone and that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I don’t know maybe I am a fucking failure but I won’t talk to anyone cause they don’t understand.,1.9783284457478023,3.1727056810035883,3.4820739654610624,92.68553519061585,76.41935483870971,6.2196806777451945,22.35923753665689,6.574015621080383,0.336260215053763,1011,27,232,8,22,334,141,279,0.304,0.601,0.095,-0.9976,3,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,4,2,9,24,10,1,11,1,31,6,3,2,4,41,59,25,3,4,9,1,2,2,1,6,0,1,3,3,11,16,1,0,7,2,3,6,13,16,0,2,7,3,43,8,25,45,2,35,1,4,0,2,16,13,6,1,17,157,54,3,0.10303521299398186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204461661342093,0.0,0.08478920112493789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680497431965206,0.0,0.0,0.1256186190057199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112627282540632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052104724942809,0.0,0.0,0.10584554610048266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317934331301766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125861624120307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260140569010432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419539910302396,0.07360837675030965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960474996925365,0.19050878825126666,0.16149493850330032,0.0,0.17567185797568538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936580032818834,0.0,0.4069037655420968,0.10574385419149382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886235955388188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044931006046964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132509169157674,0.16797490103356594,0.0,0.10909941345032564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006756011184435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527004795348585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877680475502397,0.0,0.10351272032635672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822417239985251,0.0,0.0757427369341301,0.0,0.1589342163607121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981932689699336,0.15672584485288046,0.0,0.0,0.1144084106344457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996637373291204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098590783625777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173484257084303,0.0,0.0,0.08799150892202133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115283309650518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932154080782712,0.0,0.0,0.07292885407647122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270379972363966,0.0,0.09710946887516904,0.0,0.0,0.08281580130006178,0.1801146352351726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690403438523788,0.0,0.10123157362823697,0.08179844997224628,0.060080661284024735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21452658091737212,0.0,0.0,0.2269574608152481,0.08501484144047493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463726024364736,0.1050016845853765,0.07319325908624402,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BorisKay,2018/01/21,"Anxious fear of death is taking my life away from me I've been like this for more than an year now and half an year of a prelude to this condition.
I am 28 male, work as a legal adviser, however found a passion in programming, coding and decided to move to this totally new sphere and strive to become a developer or of that sort. However I am a shadow of myself without my daily Xanax fix. The constant thought of my grandmother's inivetiable death is always there, stuck with me, draining me out. It is not even a ""thought""it is a background, the wallpaper of the room that is my mind. And it goes further like this - well, after her it will be your mother's turn (I don't care for my dad, so he is not included here). But meanwhile, Boris, you won't be able to enjoy life's pleasures and to achieve successes due your fears. You will be middle-aged Mr. Nobody, a never grown up Piter Pan man. But is it really so bad since now everything feels like old, life cycle - even vacations, Boris, even going to the beach, even going to concerts is now ruined for you... life is pointless... So for the weekend my main activity was lieing in bed and staring at the laptop, try to numb myself with youtube videos. Pleasures or even big repairs at home seem pointless since life is so rough and short, being happy makes me almost feel guilty... I obviously need help. I am still pretty sane and fully comprehend this is not about being phylosophical at nature, I am a person who needs help.

I have finally come across a good psychiatrist that is regulating my xanax in combination with antidepressants. She doesn't want me to stay hoocked to xanax for a long time tho, me neither, I dream of full ""recovery"". I ran out of pill this Wednesday, I am seeing her on Tuesday, however the substitute I am currently taking, which is not benzo-based and quite soft (Fluanxol) only keeps me from totally freaking out, however I am still crippled. I know the true answer to my suffering is therapy, I have tried several therapists for the last two years and they all sucked. I live in Bulgaria and probably the only good therapists are to be found in the capital city Sofia hence I plan seeking somebody there and travelling to visit them. Thing is I am sisturbed by the thought that I won''t find a suitable therapist for my case at all...

P.S. And I am anxious as a person although on the outside I am cheerful, joke-throwing dude, that different types of girls may fall for my ass, we all know the outside doesn't matter... When I was six I witnessed domestic violence from my father to my whole family. I was totally shocked, my grandmother was laying in a pile of blood. Unfortunately my parents got back together I few months later ""for the sake of the child"" which we all know is always a horrific decision and for those four years the atmospehre was not very good and at the end there was some more physical violence and finallymy dad was out of my life foor good. So basically it all starts with his, I am pretty sure. for example I sometimes remember the last chlamydia or STD tests I have undergone and my mind would put doubt in me if they were enough to be sure I am fine and healthy... I have been suffering generally with intruisive thoughts for more than half of my life, like the usual sexual-violent thoughts towards family members, or children, or in church, you name it... Or that time a few years ago I met my father at the street and we had a verbal fight and just before we separated our paths I hit him in the jaw - he was all fin and yelled at me... but when I went home I was thinking... what if now he is dead because I hit him? You get the idea, I guess...",5.499893320101715,6.364212967189733,6.092205234757799,78.52705436333191,67.68758915834522,9.861700676052843,31.501612603113564,9.971965246562196,3.0524262606214734,2874,114,547,66,46,935,347,701,0.081,0.851,0.068,-0.8865,7,0,0,0,2,0,106.0,5,7,3,5,27,33,2,3,42,0,62,18,3,1,14,103,99,43,3,6,18,6,4,4,0,5,14,2,4,8,24,35,0,1,19,6,0,11,12,12,1,5,24,8,85,21,83,61,20,80,1,3,2,4,46,32,2,15,40,386,109,9,0.06987045504470116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061935942655106026,0.0,0.06996516796094775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162756316052902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578674527323591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564559250923045,0.05372606708357311,0.058338911471468524,0.0425923808811326,0.07716642815401298,0.05945461104086176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123758553979771,0.0,0.0,0.06018721026811325,0.0,0.07550513996941992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299975435341875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188448451982183,0.07219485761111305,0.0,0.23074388296534745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279505972122829,0.0,0.13173529340977708,0.15724737413614878,0.0706572028857528,0.04991546704471155,0.0,0.0765396682606088,0.06386033010083672,0.0,0.0,0.15321869514497738,0.0,0.0,0.036504428964172636,0.0,0.07941797953434407,0.2344160908408355,0.05588178568678712,0.0,0.07697018349649197,0.0,0.0,0.07437839863091666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366538642096252,0.0,0.14017152659704282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887523908444959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621040707972185,0.0,0.0,0.11519692446692704,0.1139074926936814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454609809903952,0.13654070016733666,0.0,0.06169689189054831,0.06183315401956396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663907129531311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109848353472532,0.0,0.055769930613656316,0.07426123619638213,0.0,0.1036161141806494,0.0538884023073964,0.06748132087253585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331728909378529,0.0,0.0,0.10627925908956576,0.0,0.0,0.07758287171626126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201637263189564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421667433249421,0.07533216803402681,0.0,0.0,0.07023910566910091,0.0,0.07431582946435003,0.0,0.0,0.044760802636888336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791496051344502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567770651231696,0.06360743812192665,0.0,0.07893372636617955,0.0,0.11559512486867365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910366662211885,0.0,0.04945466770189799,0.07447260851779315,0.11159727130808904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317041539935209,0.0,0.10506777341639274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799029546141528,0.2433749507152504,0.04641882567132993,0.04477016634732248,0.0,0.2773466834996446,0.08148404843976126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487490511645601,0.07599899128239407,0.06825328200447528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695243500820219,0.057650442837887374,0.041211404666433006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282193018950555,0.0647706118285728,0.0,0.07800786783960892,0.0,0.0673526253300892,0.0,0.05086652342564575,0.0,0.0,0.04963396658246615,0.0,0.0,0.2249714112796747
mentalhealth,mydisappointinglife,2018/01/21,"scared of psych rejecting me 20F, america

i started living by myself at college and i really fell apart. my (ex-)friends told me i'm bipolar and that i need to get help. i was in full denial there was anything wrong but they threatened to tell my family and hospitalize me. i agreed and i made an appointment with a psych.   

i was supposed to see him once a week but i showed up unscheduled everyday to talk. at the end of our second or third meeting he asked what i was going to do when i got back (college dorm) and i answered honestly and said im in a good mood but i'll probably feel bad once im alone in my room. he gave me a look and i instantly knew he hated me and thought i'm attention seeking and pathetic. i started thinking about killing myself once i got back because there's nothing wrong with me and everyone dislikes me. he changed the subject and said something else but i didn't pay attention or respond. he asked if im ok and i quietly said yeah. i apologized for wasting his time and he told me i have no reason to apologize. i said sorry again and walked back to my room thinking about how he hates me and i need to kill myself.  

 i'd go early in the morning and to wait at his office until it opened. i wanted to catch any glimpses of him and be able to talk to him more. he made me feel comfortable and safe and i loved telling him about my issues. i started having sexual fantasies of us together when i was alone. i really liked him. i'd call their suicide/emergency number every night talking about how i wanted to die, etc.  

after a week he diagnosed me with borderline personality and he told me all the symptoms and i knew it was accurate. i was also given some meds to help me sleep but i got in an argument with a friend through text and i decided to overdose because they dont care about me. i told my friend its his fault and i hope he's happy with himself.   

the hospital didn't want to deal with me and discharged me the morning after my ""accidental"" overdose. my school counselor  told me bpd doesn't exist and that i just have minor depression.

i dont have any friends anymore, they told me im unstable and they can't deal with it. i told them i hate them and theyre cruel and i hope they kill themselves and then i begged them to come back and that i'm sorry and i need them. i've been isolating now, i'm scared of people because i don't want to be a burden. i hate myself and my bpd. i got kicked out of my college and moved. i've never been able to function.

i'm seeing a new psych now. i know she hates me and doesn't want to help. i'm so scared. i feel like i have to force people to do what i want or take me seriously. i want to feel like my issues and my suffering are valid. i thought about slicing up all my limbs and overdosing on tylenol to make her help me. i just burn myself usually. the first thing she said to me during our first appointment is that my bpd is probably mis-diagnosed. i hadn't even said anything.   

i'm really trying not to overthink it. will she ever believe me? there's no way to prove i'm not lying, anyone could assume my issues don't actually exist. it's impossible to prove so i feel like my only option is to kill myself. i'm telling the truth but people never believe me. i can't trust anyone to understand or care. none of them care about me. how can i even get help? i only see her twice a week, i can't tell what she's thinking of me behind my back. does she think im pathetic? will she help me? im so scared. i just want to get better. im really scared.  

i can't trust my feelings. how do i manage this? i'm terrified of her rejecting me. its really scary. i've been alone for over a month








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mentalhealth,Martin2707,2018/01/21,"I'm afraid my parents will use other reasons to explain my possible Anxiety (If I even confess) I've had this lingering feeling in me for as long as a year. And only recently did I find out that it may be GAD. I'm thinking of telling my parents, but I'm afraid they'll say, 'It's only that you're sick; you'll feel better soon' or 'It's just a mood swing.'"" I know they often deny things like this. I don't know what to do.",2.9776449275362324,3.168626402173913,4.883478260869566,87.3607971014493,73.02173913043478,7.872463768115942,28.3768115942029,7.793537801064563,1.5560159420289863,327,12,75,4,6,113,65,92,0.102,0.802,0.096,-0.1406,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,1,4,5,0,2,2,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,19,6,0,1,4,2,2,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,10,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,11,2,8,12,0,6,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,4,5,46,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170778272429296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985125797222297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825068869896368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269828100042931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514818846604024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24670965876033174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965758103263726,0.0,0.0,0.19863598440887167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414169240796281,0.0,0.0,0.498462365084945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530397621614239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23077755581352924,0.2216226497605896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849595978175226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618393125091085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491182081608045,0.14382197068154748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938574171966188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454193208145993
mentalhealth,xobbyyty,2018/01/21,"19f, constant anxiety attacks and shutting down, need advice My (19F) mental health has been going downhill for a couple years now. I have recently got health insurance through my work and I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist but it isn’t for another month. I’ve been having more and more anxiety attacks throughout the day and it shuts me down. Plus being depressed and with my mind always on overload, I never stop overthinking so that increases my anxiety attacks a lot. Today I was driving and I just started crying and I couldn’t stop and I had to pull over on the side of the freeway to calm down. I guess what I’m trying to say, how can I control my multiple anxiety attacks and always shutting down when I have them while I wait for my psychiatrist appointment. I just want some help to stop feeling this way. Thank you. ",5.6649827387802105,6.998438962025317,6.1434637514384365,76.60021288837748,67.60759493670886,9.289758342922902,33.98388952819332,9.573946990214177,3.3851443037974693,668,31,116,14,11,216,98,158,0.19,0.687,0.123,-0.9274,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,6,7,4,0,7,0,12,2,0,3,1,30,24,15,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,11,0,5,1,0,0,4,3,5,0,0,6,3,21,2,19,16,5,30,0,1,1,0,4,11,0,3,14,86,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946380599513635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344787953859125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281924892254868,0.3740915554347236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563198335055711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211160764268098,0.13711666349343146,0.0,0.13527015416869095,0.13428871827334055,0.07884280020983978,0.0,0.10529596776638964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061814577580761185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694789583614114,0.0,0.097776555980364,0.0,0.13467499942907302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25989755088829397,0.0,0.0,0.08194332720631976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393477147643863,0.0,0.11567834686600495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320184623479435,0.0,0.12344025521485386,0.0,0.09758084276745843,0.0,0.0,0.09064873879869158,0.09428872610538902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070967380323405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722015824522452,0.0,0.0,0.097419477934597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653100514982741,0.0,0.0,0.3066258922389598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255375024555016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588115094682655,0.0,0.0,0.08300147675349125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210773896850743,0.09703840738518517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900133405060663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872665312543739
mentalhealth,arhysr,2018/01/21,"sister in the hospital my sister wanted to be a musician. she sang with Jason Maraz informally had a deal with Disney that fell through. Music is a stupid aspiration even for someone who is good at it like her. she got a degree at JMU was pretty smart. she grew up in the 90's with all that teen anxt and BS which translated into ""flagellation"" (self hate) she was pretty beautiful but she hung out with rejects. some time later she joins a cult called sin jon chi..? we pulled her out then she start losing it. she twitched, talked to herself, broke into screaming fits out of nowhere; crying, singing, banging on walls at 2:00 am or later. sometimes she came to my door and stood there staring at me all night. at day she would be catatonic at night you didn't know what to expect. All rationality that she had seems gone, its been two years of this. we thought she was better when she fixed her routine and started a job at google but. she passed out at work and security had her ambulance-ed out. she came home from that and after 4 months of catatonia she got up backed her guitar case full of clothes and tried to run away. police found her fainted in a ditch 7 mins later. says officer that watched her do it. she woke up in a hospital we woke up with a missing person. after a few hours we report it and find shes in a psyche ward. She's lost her power of attorney and is taking drugs prescribed by the state. Her face is drooped from all the medication she takes, now she isn't as pretty as she was. Is her life over? Will she ever have kids? I don't know, and honestly I don't care. Fucking Millennials am i right XD.",3.1828076834598567,5.000293717391305,4.012663906142169,87.53515412928459,74.55900621118012,7.006395215090867,24.03772716816195,7.793537801064563,1.1109092247527028,1275,39,262,18,27,408,190,322,0.101,0.8,0.099,-0.5605,2,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,4,1,0,5,6,17,3,0,15,0,26,7,1,0,5,46,49,16,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,2,5,3,2,3,14,27,0,1,7,3,0,8,4,10,0,1,20,5,45,7,51,25,7,60,1,5,2,1,50,31,1,3,21,177,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267555078807592,0.10040087413679302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547924875438755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332737034040473,0.2986763875448756,0.13312561756036473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342587636985266,0.08420735457860416,0.13461274615914195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142065730837626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862407721577747,0.11810875049848203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933933214978495,0.0,0.0,0.14316412648189178,0.0,0.12071058689361505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951657970580272,0.2088587695261916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289116181953403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097314360960166,0.0,0.12858592190382184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957135687163682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435165776091322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222600699751417,0.06379029024554199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460753098840616,0.1425334361362569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153632930845274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422035499917326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450636735358749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140093732543902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985122886661887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150673710257394,0.0,0.10383512908921157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886673891668532,0.1362138053551635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063220255041792,0.0,0.12913784521256333,0.0,0.18483734756506429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963459614157703,0.10494785118060293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365861852120838,0.07613687485099943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864899223425504,0.0,0.1275486844271463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701403206154438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505708668922806,0.0,0.0,0.09275373952097136,0.0,0.0,0.08408330471363852
mentalhealth,Mollyu,2018/01/21,"I hate this I started getting worse over the holidays, and it's to the point where I can't motivate myself whatsoever and pretty much feel nothing. I get urges to self harm for the sake of having *any* emotion, even if it's negative. This is driving me crazy(er)",4.1544117647058805,5.8591938039215705,5.115833333333335,81.09375000000003,71.74509803921569,8.237254901960785,32.357843137254896,8.841846274778883,2.8169960784313735,208,10,39,4,4,68,41,51,0.274,0.627,0.098,-0.8856,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,8,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,28,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098246941248166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34707740804004183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379447522836627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560122352774211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224094545285072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30462941047067715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681987490521305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960622067799875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916796399436029,0.0,0.0,0.3139064455197658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218851163626996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183933962274336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144389802444529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,astrowifey,2018/01/21,"How to tell when you're getting bad again? [depression] So I've been pretty severely depressed for the last two+ years, if I count back the months last year then I realise every single one was a bit of a crisis point. Same for the year before.

Stopped taking meds in September (60mg Fluox, I know, stupid) but I found I didn't get worse. I didn't get better either, I felt the same.

Anyway, aside from a small hiccup I've been pretty excellent the last two months. Responding properly to situations, e.g. happy when things go well and sad when bad shit happens. You know, normal shit as opposed to just depressed every time I wasn't distracted by something.

But I've been kind of down the last three weeks and I can't tell if I'm getting bad again. I have thoughts of self harm but tbh those didn't vanish for two long anyway. I'm just feeling sad in my core and it aches and it hurts, but it's not as bad as I have been before. But I know I'm comparing it to the middle of a depressive episode whereas if I'm getting bad again this would be the start.

I don't know if I'm overthinking. But if I ignore am I just in denial? Is THAT overthinking?

Idk I'm just sad and it aches in my core. 

At least I still have emotions I guess haha.

**TL:DR how do you tell if you're getting bad again? What are your warning signs for a depressive episode starting? Should I monitor things? **

Edit: why is the bold text not working haha I hate everything",1.3272945205479445,3.670699315068497,2.6379280821917845,92.40257705479452,83.24657534246576,5.704794520547947,21.11130136986301,7.04035,0.5452547945205479,1128,35,237,15,32,363,148,292,0.269,0.608,0.123,-0.9945,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,3,0,3,19,30,4,1,14,2,22,3,2,2,0,44,49,27,0,9,19,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,5,0,3,8,0,0,1,8,22,1,5,12,2,24,8,23,34,6,35,0,9,0,0,8,9,2,7,25,143,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546223125019186,0.4264963569012941,0.0,0.0,0.14488428832108213,0.0,0.0,0.07529346085432016,0.09294348376440974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666258123875726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576347244135744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345690695544927,0.0,0.0765122955016656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04304594032170556,0.0,0.08174129185661648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334423863402304,0.0,0.0,0.2668717254279924,0.0,0.0483832004082224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378389718307964,0.0,0.07528307132493123,0.09062595115369468,0.0,0.08405148096262742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113692850750127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865320218870787,0.1871480795851408,0.27757991725857034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534026678448298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456387333531112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590513107759472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341253111277734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768850841365805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047845960121314,0.0,0.0,0.17322228729579825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888125696343978,0.09617636520433284,0.17477616074138813,0.0,0.0956933647387238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553975206646842,0.0,0.0,0.1205155362839834,0.0,0.06798754103754391,0.07117522745700447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640096256220253,0.0,0.2232306965415901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311752619942014,0.0,0.0,0.06758630853617302,0.049641895561311336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24948850936053124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828877568601695,0.0,0.07654503567610328,0.0,0.0768195363999557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061978035991415985,0.0,0.08675807736715105,0.06047623387789595,0.0,0.0,0.1644691080063251
mentalhealth,t04st3d3gg5,2018/01/21,"How do I tell my psychiatrist and psychologist about the full extent of my harm-OCD without sounding like a potential serial killer? A few years ago I realized I (probably) have ""pure-O"" OCD - basically severely disturbing intrusive thoughts *that are not consistent with one's personal values* but without the compulsive behaviors typical of regular OCD - after I watched a *Monsters Inside Me* episode about a teen girl who was eventually diagnosed with this disease after being misdiagnosed as bipolar/schizophrenic. Specifically, this girl had what is known now as ""Harm OCD."" She had constant, vivid intrusive thoughts of hurting people she knew with sharp objects - scissors, pencils, cutlery, etc - and she thought she was a budding serial killer, so she started redirecting those thoughts to only harming herself despite not actually wanting to kill/harm herself. Then she started hiding all the sharp objects in her dorm so she couldn't use them and avoiding her friends/classmates because she kept ""seeing"" herself stabbing them.  Luckily she managed to find a good psychiatrist who asked her questions like ""if you had a thought about harming a child with a fork, what would you do?"" and her response was ""hide all the forks of course."" 

I have actually been struggling with this exact same problem since I was a pre-teen, but I never told anyone because I was afraid of being locked up for being a serial killer. I'm also mildly autistic so I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to explain properly that I actually don't want to harm/kill people, even people who have intentionally hurt me or people I care about. I have told my psychiatrist and psychologist that I have intrusive thoughts about harming myself (which I do) and I cope by telling myself ""its just a thought and I don't have to obey it"" and my psychiatrist ordered something called the Y-BOCS scale to officially diagnose OCD. But I haven't told anyone that I'm not journalling or doing homework (I'm supposed to as part of therapy for PTSD, I keep telling my psychologist that I forgot to bring my journal/homework) because I'm afraid I'll end up writing a kill list, that I am putting off learning to drive because I have intrusive thoughts about driving to my convicted child molester and child rapist cousin's house (I was actually his first victim and have PTSD from the assault), tying him up, then running him over repeatedly, or that I'm afraid of starting my own business because it *could* be more lucrative than a typical 9-5 job and I'm afraid I will someday have enough money in the bank to hire a hitman. 

It also doesn't help that the people I have intrusive thoughts about murdering are all horrible psychopaths/narcissists who take great delight in hurting other people. For example, my great-aunt is a retired special needs elementary school teacher who taught for over 40 years at various large public schools. She calls her former students 'retards' and boasts about physical abusing them. If you do the math (40 years x 10 students a year, which is probably low given how overcrowded her schools were) she has a minimum of 400 victims. 

**TL;DR; I really want to make it clear that I think harming and killing people is *wrong* and I do not want to ever kill someone no matter how morally bankrupt that person is, but the intrusive thoughts are so constant and so vivid that I can't focus on anything and my ""hide all the forks"" strategies - not driving, not socializing, not starting my own business which would actually make me happy and give my life meaning - are destroying my life.  I need to tell my psychiatrist whats going on but I'm afraid she wont understand and will lock me up forever.**",8.813491704374059,8.852433904977381,8.269121417797889,68.57918740573155,60.628959276018115,11.288235294117648,42.09690799396682,10.805372152983287,4.820028355957769,2961,157,477,65,36,937,306,663,0.207,0.742,0.051,-0.9989,2,1,1,0,0,0,92.0,0,3,3,1,22,37,10,9,29,0,57,5,0,8,8,98,107,43,4,14,20,1,2,2,1,6,4,1,2,7,33,23,0,4,20,0,2,7,19,30,0,2,30,7,80,7,63,64,15,45,1,4,4,1,61,15,0,6,24,331,113,14,0.059181747712818734,0.07012069356868827,0.28876424348984664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246104852508867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465524452832924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082762508089953,0.0,0.048701535755942126,0.0,0.05532694516279065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038322050305847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208623626617178,0.0,0.06033973604994265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279088891530029,0.0,0.04725180988604558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013645632501682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241746240019205,0.061150565665706084,0.06600329268828821,0.039088986207960856,0.05353327902524408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409104524175649,0.05033996437151378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056772525105418914,0.03363435106910613,0.0496388421225104,0.0,0.13049617156661156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630000709204226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966827799420116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828779096704454,0.1900658548577778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058728752711493276,0.05260345660420536,0.2619033413552824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360363724355026,0.05782642509387643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900855230421787,0.0,0.0,0.0644662729831127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776503207970543,0.04564461227514327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04010308388587527,0.045010385967287216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408806555376942,0.0,0.2872042053096617,0.10335043871281853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761586740481806,0.05662893989155567,0.13836059210024915,0.05949400255978433,0.06629710181759922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03791334302009092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796852647442671,0.04716019064041005,0.0,0.0,0.06685852950073465,0.0,0.048955753275349824,0.0,0.0,0.060328338859989075,0.05014450278504098,0.04556100074791978,0.0,0.0,0.16755658255166755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186961244449207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04449730902066113,0.0,0.20690982416849985,0.0,0.06767948625006442,0.0,0.0,0.03792127428013802,0.0,0.4698369701860915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965208835303722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061610286525476836,0.0,0.05111402836378537,0.0,0.0,0.1396277125889241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409818577913032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408203113578422,0.06470595061756672,0.0,0.15244442070895275
mentalhealth,LostHumbleNomad,2018/01/21,"I have lost all motivation - HELP!! 26/M currently employed full-time but not making nearly enough, I work 12-hours 5 days a week having to deal with annoying customers all day and on the days that i'm off i just feel mentally exhausted and unable to get out of bed.

I've always considered myself to be a fighter and have always been able to power through anything but it seems that as of lately i am more mentally exhausted and weak than usual, Its almost as i'm slowly beginning to give up on everything - its gotten to the point where i barely sleep. 

What can i do? I need a change or motivation of sort :( not sure if any of you redditors have felt this way but i'm really hitting a brick wall here. ",4.292230215827338,5.5054165323741024,5.620928057553956,79.52074460431658,70.72661870503597,9.301007194244605,27.56906474820144,9.642632912329526,2.5144756834532376,554,19,107,13,10,186,97,139,0.158,0.78,0.063,-0.9383,3,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,1,0,5,3,6,1,0,6,0,9,4,1,3,3,26,23,11,0,2,8,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,2,9,1,21,17,4,18,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,5,8,70,16,4,0.1766027631175683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768421570459658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938952925324051,0.0,0.0,0.1200959348867385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453290265151378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868223066876616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416825166862873,0.18206969417290692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824778631947509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871917607816785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929566335155058,0.0,0.1695663476044159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226765471868488,0.16941346260051102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837310949122852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391814775320358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921560907153374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278277776208527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178837157239068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559480956186524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094871112619075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694669420376493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313625222531175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077252280631749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673030352102495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644601423045585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945029933235599,0.0,0.0,0.14017905318073373,0.14166008405845676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856891487834698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Smokeandmirrorshere,2018/01/21,"Are 'daddy issues' a real psychological phenomenon? I just finished episode 13  of the second season of 'Crazy Ex Girlfriend' and I can relate so hard. The main character, Rebecca, was abandoned by her father as a kid. She always sought him out while he never  cared about her. Now she is an adult and chases unsuitable/unavailable men even going as far as to moving to a new city/town for a love interest she is not yet in a relationship with. She is a mess. The therapist on the programme told her that she was repeating behaviours from childhood.",6.0232956152758135,7.41448683168317,6.860905233380482,71.5721782178218,66.82178217821783,10.127864214992927,31.26025459688826,10.290406445055957,3.4644868458274414,434,17,73,11,7,144,78,101,0.117,0.813,0.07,-0.4401,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,11,0,7,1,0,0,1,9,11,7,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,3,1,11,3,15,8,1,15,0,1,0,1,19,4,0,0,9,57,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23474590619304456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876394880280917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633717540774167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033493274924562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527235311225965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944593131257799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25462373551579137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998482303688869,0.0,0.0,0.2175878412062666,0.27247263421627066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211135935015285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30289061056186084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275623193016464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695771367885668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DonnieDracco,2018/01/21,"Anxiety while watching movies/TV I have self diagnosed OCD (Could be something different but through my experiences, symptoms and research I can’t imagine it being anything else unfortunately) and I also have Anxiety. It’s very difficult for me to watch movies with severely mentally ill people or people going insane without getting anxiety that I will inevitably become like that. I can’t remember when it started happening, but it had to have been sometime in 2016. I remember the worst time was when I was watching the shining and that is already a very unsettling movie but I was so afraid that I would become like Jack Nicholson and want to murder my entire family like his character. I had very bad anxiety 3-4 hours after it finished and it would randomly pop into my mind for a week. It doesn’t even have to be serial killers, I watched Fight Club and I was afraid I was going to end up like Edward Norton, and I even got scared of it while watching Memento. What triggers me to write this is I’m watching right now a series on Netflix called MindHunters and it’s about these guys who interview serial killers in prison to try and understand criminal psychology, and every time I watch an episode I can feel the anxiety coming back. Especially when the serial killers are discussing traumatic experiences or anything that could have shaped them into that. The thing is I love those movies and I love this show. I don’t want to give up film because of this. Am I normal? Has anyone else dealt with this? How can I cope? Do I have to give up movies? I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I just want to feel normal again ",5.629976310334616,7.149700231270359,5.9955952028427575,76.9317226828546,67.85993485342019,9.490612970091798,32.52132069884513,9.800150414767053,3.307353094462541,1309,57,230,30,22,420,162,307,0.21600000000000005,0.6829999999999999,0.102,-0.9943,1,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,13,14,2,3,9,0,36,5,0,2,0,46,55,24,1,10,7,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,25,17,0,0,6,4,0,3,6,8,0,0,9,10,31,6,30,38,1,29,0,0,8,2,15,10,0,4,20,162,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923779369218103,0.07916217096241743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786349347834557,0.0,0.09817136120191536,0.06921602545471718,0.10142682974622852,0.16292047287418174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611710714174738,0.08265241466677926,0.0603433118212097,0.2186530895852919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107973481686046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527101612359768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807072798225272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205421924992354,0.0,0.1004726440865478,0.0,0.1034233552736515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538668462540512,0.0,0.0876756515841697,0.0,0.0,0.13076376377712765,0.0,0.08340324297240946,0.0,0.0,0.19366219386025105,0.0933188486254134,0.0,0.10010451489078816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171812644115546,0.18992022516061366,0.11251645961342037,0.0,0.07917124962407451,0.0,0.0,0.0980155439835228,0.08753642362263361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748509142597993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344582002772506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786844623472458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975851598169004,0.0,0.09995155956646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939781289583526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725423707079065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22427247335541495,0.08453681631794592,0.0,0.0,0.0991061384166845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326803332685887,0.11183038761362983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620724553400117,0.09790352210187488,0.0,0.07006554628816003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288838746580936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576447744672194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544358971567115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720763039083892,0.0,0.0,0.10305195574268744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450310532186165,0.2335471829402456,0.0,0.07940371044801607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542271148479184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063914063728727,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kidneycat,2018/01/22,"I have lost control of my life. [rant] I am hedonistic. I fuck strangers. I drink to excess. I fixate on morbidity, dead things, bones, gore. I binge and purge. I feast and then starve myself. I'm sexually attracted to blood. I obsess over bile and semen and tears. I am too human. I cannot find virtue and I don't think I want to anymore. I am getting sicker and sicker. Really, I am not human. I am an animal. I am sucking the marrow out of life but it's not sustainable. 

Pan has followed me since puberty and now he's here. ",-0.8746778160354154,1.090986962616821,2.155848499754061,89.63670437776688,104.60747663551402,5.243285784554847,16.846532218396455,6.8360192770164,0.4008056074766357,403,12,84,8,19,141,71,107,0.153,0.8270000000000001,0.02,-0.8088,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,2,1,2,0,10,8,2,1,0,15,18,9,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,8,1,1,2,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,19,1,8,17,0,6,0,1,0,1,3,3,2,0,2,55,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039506986856323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34374891342427843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002385544139131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801216764186671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28334038202661044,0.16012572785019485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329587441819774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345645090931846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634209614469206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25352750379545685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20361497104551346,0.19638316981687892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18077275429833767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AntigoneWithTheWind,2018/01/22,"How can I cope with being extremely happy and very sad at the same time? It feels like my life is divided right now between the euphoria of love and an unhappiness caused by a career issue. I couldn't be happier while at the same time extremely unhappy because I basically don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't want to elaborate but I'd solve it if I could. I tend to ignore the issue while I'm with the person (probably distraction), but once I'm alone it just hits me and I don't know how to deal with the sadness that comes with it. ",3.5434210526315795,4.404436280701756,5.390307017543861,81.79756578947371,72.15789473684211,9.559649122807018,26.530701754385966,9.827888789773867,2.3285649122807017,432,14,92,11,8,149,69,114,0.165,0.7340000000000001,0.101,-0.7465,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,8,0,10,3,0,3,0,25,21,10,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,1,10,3,13,16,2,9,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,1,6,61,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267778112386893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106354753908556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086682488540035,0.0,0.18520564314624047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716620263801799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165816910840008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871173996166406,0.15359785136707876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22887419259444275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488135666686195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23631953687309445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037252925674626,0.10503937662785737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404817881666872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22897067898076384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877319173541583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318090931311072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361098703229808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25073941008760564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739960526319992,0.1268140635229008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,migy807,2018/01/22,"Help? (X-post from r/BorderlinePDisorder) I suspect that i may have bpd, and i'd like to ask my therapist about it but i dont know what to say! I've been seeing her for a while now for depression and anxiety. I'd like your opinions on whether i have it or not (i'm still going to ask her either way, i'd just like a second opinion)

Okay, i get very angry over small things and sometimes i yell at my friends and it hurts their feelings, but i cant help it, i just get so angry over little things and get upset/hate whoever caused it for a while. sometimes i get very sad and then happy for a couple minutes and then sad again.i also get really stressed sometimes about things i probably shouldnt get stressed about, and my first thought is to cut/hurt myself (but i dont do that anymore). i dont get suicidal very much anymore since ive been taking zoloft for about a month. i also get upset when i know people will be busy for even a couple hours, and i wont be able to talk to them. ive heard that people with bpd can have problems with relationships, but ive only had one 'relationship', and i went from liking her a lot to hating her after we 'broke up'. sometimes i get really sad over little things that dont matter. i'd just like your opinions and help and i will provide more information if you want. thank you!",2.7174672928547494,4.253534099630997,3.9314340825226415,88.81617829587387,75.16236162361623,6.6984904394498495,23.388292519288825,7.348242739294969,0.8105409594095941,1035,30,221,12,22,338,133,271,0.22,0.653,0.127,-0.9849,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,1,4,2,1,14,20,1,3,7,1,24,1,0,1,0,43,48,27,1,4,12,0,1,5,1,5,1,3,0,0,14,15,0,0,6,0,0,2,8,11,0,3,6,5,36,9,28,35,4,23,0,6,1,0,23,9,0,7,16,147,50,0,0.08116663636198955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981785954797004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062092254654068674,0.0,0.16099098629058242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175969661589706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044530742502407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338049392275118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961867864088896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990870496394426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38050677327474863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053609797816315134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104029012916919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690402994255129,0.0,0.0,0.06270914191072621,0.0,0.3816559572278905,0.0,0.04612886993038764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640339369480822,0.0,0.08013524942683597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321285630253074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993278704273434,0.0,0.17378112590762454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892141213072553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19826959320651613,0.16270058575035626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900497168857972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478643476925981,0.0,0.059666816878938815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055000613407943724,0.06173088446200596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254145164158573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773520110418479,0.0,0.08751136206664588,0.07766550920474574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399485128799442,0.0,0.0,0.17428518337417034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454696702529213,0.0,0.0,0.06467930050067039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671418803515146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211035151501017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648197806459033,0.0,0.18595221543844107,0.0,0.0,0.08878312630185436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102720923168661,0.06523866777022637,0.0,0.07472733368060888,0.0,0.09424072073422092,0.21569402639241314,0.0,0.0,0.06443724287015838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009129263693841,0.04787418508133568,0.06442629794820434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524228508129695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotDumbNotSmart,2018/01/22,"Can someone help me please? This may not be the right place to post this and if it isn't i am truly sorry.

Ok, so here it goes. I am a 32 year old male living in Louisville Kentucky. I have never had a job, i lived with my parents until i was 24 but had to move out because my dad died and i couldn't take care of my mom, i havent been to any doctor since around the age of 21.

I live with my friend who helps take care of me. Shes a great person for everything that she does. As i said before i have never had a job because the thought of being around people makes me physically sick to my stomach, its not that i hate people. I just cant function around them. I become light headed, dripping with sweat and i get a pain in my chest that feels like a huge boulder is on it. I can't communicate with people either, if someone asks me a question my mind goes blank and i stare at the ground. I also can't handle stress, when something starts to go wrong i physically can't deal with it. my default setting is to shut down and basically hug myself and cry.

I was in therapy as a child, but that stopped when i turned 13. I was also given anti depressants when i was around that age as well. Its been so long though that i cant remember if they helped. 

I used to get SNAP benefits for food every month and that basically covered the food that i needed. But the laws changed or something happened and i was unable to get them anymore if i didn't find a job. But being so scared, i couldn't force myself to look for a job without having a severe panic attack. Aside from the SNAP benefits, i used to be able to find some random oddjobs from my extended family, cleaning their garage, cutting their grass etc and i would get a couple hundred dollars a month to help my friend cover the rent and help buy me deodorant and whatever hygiene products i needed.

Its been a couple years since i lost my SNAP benefits so the person i live with has been basically paying for everything. She doesn't make a lot of money from her job, its barely enough to cover the bills every month and with me here i am just a burden. So i am trying to get SNAP benefits again...but how can i get them when they want me to find a job? How can i get them if the idea of leaving the house frightens me to the point of tears? 

I don't know if anyone here could help me or not, but i had to give it a try.",2.7312842959325287,3.9829844584178495,4.070142521618447,88.98922573929754,74.59837728194725,6.731055834311945,23.115672040140918,7.1686216300943375,0.6955793103448271,1850,50,401,19,38,610,223,493,0.121,0.731,0.147,0.8841,9,0,2,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,8,1,24,24,3,3,31,1,46,10,4,6,2,75,78,43,1,13,20,3,1,1,2,2,3,1,2,4,20,24,2,1,9,0,6,2,18,11,1,0,18,5,73,13,54,51,5,39,0,2,2,1,33,17,0,13,19,278,93,8,0.06689791877156337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699648294413376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04549287879204628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634475941437955,0.046776580259164084,0.0,0.0,0.2382133235563987,0.06254052349618967,0.07610604029977715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156070071822398,0.07388349538064641,0.05692520161006311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641377340035232,0.0,0.07076912771283811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341254460589969,0.14804254940396788,0.07348422248630063,0.0,0.06896881677572601,0.057619079411466885,0.0,0.06942947786561994,0.0,0.0,0.06847285457023015,0.058542819534114277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912343303192925,0.07460886309649209,0.0,0.0,0.1127287636972398,0.0,0.1202470715783548,0.0,0.06306540405552777,0.0,0.03382559778845635,0.04779188653724109,0.0,0.0,0.18343045739767175,0.0,0.16178645784485754,0.0,0.1033703321908946,0.0,0.2446598101385787,0.064174579490092,0.03801962890102253,0.0,0.0,0.07375519161604856,0.0,0.0,0.05915760863592395,0.0,0.0,0.06604784486801711,0.06865656470965686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26904158882983464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719121637587853,0.0,0.07551960745043572,0.0,0.0,0.3983151711754258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03676534662513193,0.0,0.0,0.07083523668215631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03268294396738583,0.0,0.23628835160791414,0.05920255295809845,0.056177403096735835,0.0,0.0730269808898668,0.056874218247369074,0.0,0.0,0.08930976050174239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754782750633223,0.0783500339343354,0.16019184156026406,0.07110190056388091,0.0,0.09920791821732676,0.10319159816500807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019811230954973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118410222691615,0.07849029371661419,0.0742822219608927,0.0,0.0,0.13913578092805576,0.11682536459662575,0.06989408662008485,0.0734338257432043,0.06324015655740027,0.0,0.0640697138904011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494097933209852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578230099830048,0.05713045710689699,0.06363524022100947,0.0,0.0669764871266229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557560647634501,0.0,0.11067729942370994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336477896638758,0.103002572413903,0.0,0.07488674305148632,0.047350691228210826,0.0,0.0,0.05592965558353813,0.0766313399283518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059781873500076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650360032671476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657268655337752,0.05310947493458127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083859110234598,0.07276572540249866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555664540901195,0.0,0.0,0.03945812575677715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060149263092699565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448720643798864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047522362100261215,0.07314237236547808,0.0,0.08616013270892832
mentalhealth,kaasbaas1251,2018/01/22,"guilt driving me insane at 18 i was in a relationship with a older woman (9years older) and i misled her (marriage and children )her for 3 years i still don´t know why i did it.

so i used this woman for 3 years and never realized it is was wrong or i was hurting her when i realized it was wrong i broke up.

a year has passed and i still feel extremly guilty about this and spend  obsessing about it atleast 8 hours a day

psyatrics have diagnosed me with

iq 84 verbal 110
autism
schizophrenia

i first didn´t feel too guilty at all but then some one told me it is difficult for a woman after 30 to find a partner in our country and since then i have  servere mental problems

i spend 8 hours a day obsessing about what i have done and feeling guilty.





",2.096,4.367881933333333,3.256666666666668,89.52500000000002,79.66666666666666,6.133333333333333,23.333333333333336,7.3011,0.9641333333333336,590,20,119,8,15,190,87,150,0.211,0.777,0.012,-0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,1,8,9,0,3,7,0,12,1,0,1,2,23,18,13,0,1,2,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,8,9,0,0,7,0,2,2,1,9,0,2,7,3,20,0,15,11,2,24,0,2,0,0,12,5,0,2,17,83,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305903685251516,0.0,0.0,0.18145301754350107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829490513658744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27118226749882823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339725144955705,0.15206605417978195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521150292314543,0.0,0.1913824992619231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825014895066804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801633062920738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788241946342789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114267070114867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106367772015907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193761004979115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788465432832248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855401369241176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708273203427533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544043326918343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131676927378255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909251313627543,0.0,0.34537601230481346
mentalhealth,macnmouse,2018/01/22,"Seeing things I know are not real Hi.
To and from, I've Been very concerned by a lot of  things. Sometimes, I feel very concerned about how much I think and worry about everything. 

At last, I feel like me and my family is working things out after me getting the diagnosis of Asperger. I just feel like there's still some things I feel like I should like to know more about myself. And have the chance to take more seriously. 

Sometimes, I feel like I don't know anything and is going crazy. Sometimes I can find myself objectifying myself so much that I nearly laugh at my own pettiness. Like I'm trapped in a mind and body I have to understand in order to not just survive with. I love myself and can entertain myself and I have confidence in myself but I always have the nagging knowing that I should never 100% trust myself. 

I have done eye sight tests and hearing tests and they are always on par or above expectations. But at some point. Most of every data I receive is being manipulated and twisted. If not from my organ and directly to my brain, then in creating a memory or recreation of memory. I hate lying. But I can so easily imagine something that is not true. I'm great at lying to myself. That's a blessing and a curse. Kinda scares me sometimes. Like, I'm a part of me, but also beside me, but also within me and above me like a master but also deep below like a vague consciousness.

I have a great sense of right and wrong even if I don't always know what it is. Sometimes I can argue with myself and too many times, I contradict myself so the point gets lost in others ears.

The problem though is more than knowing myself. The fear of that eeary feeling I get about how I am beside myself and within myself and nothing really matter. Also, never knowing who to trust, myself or my surrounding. And a recent occurrence; 

I thought I saw my dogs pupils dilate and the ring around the iris, a grey field, morph in waves. At the edge, there were a thin line of ice blue iris. I deemed this unlikely as I've never seen that grey field in her eyes before and knew that she had deep brown eyes. Therefore, I checked again. Blue. Blue. Blue. It irked me and when my mom came home. I told her About what I discovered. She said in a determined voice; she has dark brown eyes. And looked at me like I was crazy. I was sure then it kinda was but her reaction irked me. With all of my experiences since birth, I learned early that truth is very fluid. I checked my dogs eyes again. Brown.brown.brown.brown. I felt relieved but also disturbed with myself. Why did that detortion of her appearance persist? I have hallucinated before but it had never persisted ( and I should mention I have never taken drugs and neither did I now.) . The worst part though, was how scared to the core I was, seeing her kind eyes in a malicious appearance . Kind of like in a dream. But I know for sure I wasn't dreaming. I am very good at detecting such a thing. 

I don't even know what to expect with this entry. I have just not found any relevant idea when researching online. I don't even know where to start. 

TL;DR

I need to tell something I've been thinking about. I feel disturbed by myself and not knowing how it works. I feel scared with the thoughts about not being able to trust myself. I also had a recent incident of hallucinating, which scared me. ",2.9189320436755253,5.2468576197836185,3.781538864236925,86.53757428827842,77.12982998454405,6.4616742284489215,22.182006282096022,7.542262844301418,0.9526413421748016,2628,76,504,37,62,839,268,647,0.158,0.727,0.115,-0.9908,0,1,3,0,0,0,83.0,0,0,1,7,40,43,3,7,29,0,49,11,9,6,10,126,101,61,0,9,25,1,10,11,0,3,1,5,1,0,27,35,0,0,32,3,2,5,18,15,0,0,27,35,98,28,70,69,15,59,1,1,20,1,20,32,0,13,32,375,125,6,0.05852666148912838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28082250028653344,0.14609661249616074,0.0,0.0,0.039800136777346534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816245561080861,0.052101137098124035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960375646988727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500992702304663,0.0,0.06533511015093976,0.0,0.06693890906303894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989309472622911,0.0,0.0,0.06787234634212977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596892380643607,0.0,0.04931123653880237,0.0,0.052599989525510434,0.057250305322212536,0.055173727712467084,0.06585876555571861,0.2367427086265547,0.1672458346480529,0.05619477323570979,0.0,0.05349230830119108,0.0,0.0,0.06417146345203398,0.0,0.0,0.09173329508759616,0.0,0.033262050471714946,0.04908938687843429,0.0,0.12905170181805928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778296140836081,0.0,0.0,0.06596380108644159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870701344589022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606947693150513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189302323121333,0.3538119480499658,0.04770704056309162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145248755849902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491476553345119,0.0,0.06388876468203465,0.04975727466483616,0.05282259702736363,0.0,0.0,0.05933684862721826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059095244028273264,0.06854571858049757,0.0,0.0,0.08604766071697949,0.04339677790555371,0.2256968469732429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561579101716079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267573420223985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106532251920444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05600211084681098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066616153891466,0.037493678010753435,0.0,0.11557603502292507,0.0,0.0,0.049981449127470205,0.05567225754678516,0.0,0.23438159283706014,0.0,0.09327634346885626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048413859181638916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011336673661148,0.2894218236780361,0.0,0.04142547223707856,0.0,0.0467394674671886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032137163783087,0.0,0.04400476570693242,0.0,0.05115488180852548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944125664453377,0.07500304295843924,0.11500429551395515,0.09292726346168052,0.034127366973254865,0.0,0.0,0.055924733157839565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092831866375865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316250054548706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281120875407894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521621322651915,0.059436665693964996,0.0,0.0,0.06398971666911954,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DumpasaurusRex,2018/01/22,"Why do I always feel mentally different than everyone else. I'll start this post by stating that i have never been diagnosed with any type of mental disability other than OCD. If you are familiar with symmetry ocd, thats what i suffer from. I have struggled with depression and probably some form of PTSD from 2 combat tours to Iraq and Afghanistan. 

I have felt this way for a long time, but only recently have i been able to attempt to put it into words. Its probably a terrible explanation tho but, I feel as tho my thought process is so much different than everyone else. My reasoning and the conclusions i come to seem to be much harder for others to grasp and it makes me feel wildly different. As i type, this is probably the best way i have been able to describe it, even to myself, and it makes my heart skip. 

I know we are all different. I just cant help but to feel like I'm far different. I dont mean on the spectrum or anything like that. My family has no history of Asperger or downs syndrome that i know off. Alzheimer and dementia but not until we are older. (Im 31). I have 5 concussions so i suppose those could have changed things up a little. I am VERY forgetful . Short term memory has been giving me some problems lately. 

Long story short, I feel VERY different from most everyone and i dont know why. I cant understand what makes me feel this way. I cant even explain it in a way that i think others will understand except that my way of thinking seems to be hard for most everyone else to understand. And that makes me feel very, very different a lot of the time. 

Is there anyone who might be able to shed some light and maybe help me explain it better. I understand we arent doctors in here. But, sometimes even docs dont know whats going on",3.199675262655205,5.141585381088827,4.50000859598854,83.52000334288445,74.84527220630372,8.779407831900668,26.819579751671444,9.3871,2.4497208404966577,1394,53,276,36,30,460,168,349,0.087,0.856,0.057,-0.7519,8,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,3,1,0,4,10,9,0,1,9,0,34,3,1,5,2,72,67,24,0,3,11,0,9,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,27,17,0,0,27,0,0,3,10,5,0,0,6,10,38,4,42,55,12,33,0,2,0,0,10,12,0,12,13,191,65,3,0.1960644943094956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543804552215554,0.0,0.0,0.04444352648948277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04569761771591913,0.0,0.05378145767970947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858586351992732,0.05780103740154021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913674591841842,0.05629740037028634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052180514931009635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629002055088357,0.06633377819965182,0.0,0.477973221490377,0.0,0.06689343929658233,0.0,0.0,0.2297861271185699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378672654917595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949874936313654,0.0,0.0,0.24979736862938545,0.0,0.0,0.061610718647284575,0.0,0.2313175652708261,0.04668950463674733,0.06275088718522373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626943095106563,0.037142656808043586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854509196996991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744578992349546,0.08761193178232697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059443289679967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366922472400168,0.0,0.07372309651645696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385813887965025,0.06550271042963708,0.0,0.11567393844938535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556234057642223,0.0,0.0,0.1744994298897835,0.0,0.06565771246435521,0.07119057085970537,0.0,0.0,0.13172459693517394,0.06933114821575305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608664185822094,0.0,0.05040567500138531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970529430895188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259186277214583,0.0,0.21139068611160472,0.06253574732195008,0.07639630057940403,0.06569965671924774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719565154852551,0.06453001157793026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899316796796185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463759940940976,0.0,0.046258486070224994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832305987265487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043418845995622984,0.08375347414415207,0.0,0.05188443595506772,0.0762178555605091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721467375492712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21569832178703466,0.0,0.25937811588643955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794514015536975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crovenlaw,2018/01/22,"Looking for recommendations for therapist/therapy type I am looking for a recommendation as to what would be the best therapy type for me. I live near SLC, UT and would like a therapist that does not include religion in the therapy. 

I had previously typed out a long thing explaining my story and issues, but it was probably not really necessary, anyways I've always been a motivated person and hard worker, but around the same time I had my son (about a year and a half ago) I got burnt out from a long commute and stopped working out and my motivation and drive has disappeared. I've also been more irritable, mostly around/too my wife even when I'm trying not to be. 

I'm aware that there is something wrong that I need to fix, and for a while, I've been trying to fix it, but with my lack of drive, it has been difficult. I would appreciate any recommendations as to what they think would be helpful, whether it would be to see a general practitioner and try starting with medication, or a type of therapy (talk, cognitive behavioral, etc.). If you think it would be helpful for me to provide more information, you can either pm me or ask and I can give more. 
",9.188918918918915,7.2333857297297275,9.598630630630632,65.78578378378381,61.072072072072075,13.744864864864864,39.767567567567575,12.516099999999998,4.905758918918919,920,39,174,27,10,311,120,222,0.094,0.807,0.099,0.287,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,1,5,7,4,0,0,13,0,24,1,0,2,0,45,37,22,0,9,11,2,1,1,0,6,1,0,0,1,11,16,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,8,4,19,2,27,18,9,18,0,0,3,0,13,6,0,4,10,130,30,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975575106433886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801129871726503,0.09157494567465553,0.0,0.0,0.07484147580749308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959453563431748,0.10288698364470984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549639848173088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631026059909123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274091178061307,0.07269058273203788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557521014043802,0.0,0.0,0.08802139223533485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858806063364108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753568834116768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486929011965298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376753076968193,0.0,0.09718097326447896,0.1947912092004171,0.18483770939231992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086928129971166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816047171373109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609616856878894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186583826727829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050433548692994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769993985434288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847260575293869,0.0,0.0,0.07789780963792937,0.0,0.0,0.09201127904898868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845839697303172,0.0,0.0,0.5034319660631353,0.25556570575884424,0.07311594665962573,0.14103816920190582,0.0,0.0,0.06417421437496318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241612665176597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012167390626622,0.0,0.0,0.469081378169031,0.12032835110119774,0.0,0.07087209755599205
mentalhealth,RobynTacoo,2018/01/22,Resperidone - why were you on it and how did it help you? I've recently had my dosage increased and I'm curious about other people's experience on it. ,2.41,4.759872000000001,4.830000000000002,78.245,79.0,9.333333333333334,26.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,3.0316666666666667,120,5,23,4,3,42,24,30,0.0,0.772,0.228,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,3,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102016701509148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496015763083341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615953098173593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5149936386036911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4706414534799964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,khsswh,2018/01/22,"i cant see a professional so im relying on internet strangers This week has been incredibly difficult for me mentally but this morning I kind of went into a numb state of mind. It doesn't happen often. Told an old psychiatrist about it, he said it was depersonalization. I'm not sure why but today when it happened I just wrote everything I was feeling. I didn't even know I was feeling some of this stuff. Now that I'm kind of out of the auto-pilot depersonalization feeling I'm reading it back and want other people's opinions on it. This is what it says:

""could my past relationship have caused me some sort of ptsd? i cant let it go, i get triggered, weird sort of flashbacks, makes me feel dirty, feel like i was groomed. he was 19 i was 14, he touched me and im not sure if i wanted it. how could i have known i was a child? he was abusive mentally""

Reading it back, I know he was mentally abusive. I have no doubt about that. But am I overreacting? I don't think I ever really told him no when he touched me sexually, does that mean what he did was okay? Could it be ptsd or am I just overreacting? I'm 20 now and it still gives me panic attacks. I'm not a sexual person at all and I feel like this is the reason. I can't deal with it anymore. I'm not sure what to do as I can't see a professional right now.",0.8375337331334336,2.94809457246377,3.2992603698150944,88.35978260869568,83.34782608695653,6.5605197401299336,22.1984007996002,7.753152298057669,0.9680943528235888,1026,35,230,19,29,355,135,276,0.175,0.769,0.057,-0.9886,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,17,14,1,2,8,1,33,1,0,5,5,53,64,14,0,6,11,0,8,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,26,7,0,0,12,2,0,2,13,6,0,0,18,12,30,8,18,41,3,22,0,0,2,0,18,6,0,9,15,148,56,4,0.0,0.23581984560306096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986929100943556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321356289846382,0.0,0.15304297953722046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223011585863456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383657507796291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259639636111967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870869270753306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572923215107572,0.09001771767981953,0.0,0.0,0.08943836355083642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019090017862423,0.14218818194213773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051992886118868285,0.09546460127167164,0.056557109409550665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760029458856367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498823230032607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207260735684681,0.10938253695062852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176162437992144,0.0,0.09723676380965098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642755389837539,0.0,0.0,0.10840185519978164,0.0,0.0,0.3008654905582132,0.0,0.100482566008169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044250676031283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676032243436554,0.0,0.0,0.0949990695888101,0.06899170956505296,0.0868933379715906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326572357321823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990854147597566,0.0,0.0637523549915807,0.10231879308248593,0.0,0.10684270175523156,0.0,0.08498592981073293,0.0946622928080678,0.07913894013907459,0.0,0.0,0.15860237983154424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947342805981937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392175572086992,0.0,0.0,0.2813773262973527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376569162891667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432932051906467,0.19018317915171992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739396727577392,0.0,0.07982555360810663,0.0,0.0,0.09225212228241014,0.08979751005113137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheMightySchism,2018/01/22,"[Vent] Today is a bad day. It started with a bad weekend. I had a sexual encounter than set off a bit of a panic attacked and led to a long, excessively hot shower with lots of painful scrubbing and a rubbing-alcohol wipe-down after. Then I moved into breaking my great 14+ day streak of keto and binge eating 2 large pizzas and a 2 Liter of Mountain Dew. To top it off, I was having a severe flare up on my mental illness (schizoaffective, which adds a ton of anxiety when it hits me) when it came time for bedtime. I need to take Xanax to sleep. This was Sunday.

This morning I woke up feeling sick. I still have horrible internal pain and heartburn. I had therapy this morning and I am apparently very angry and out of touch with reality. It was recommended that I call in sick to work. Calling in sick isn't an option today. 

So here I am, venting. I absolutely *hate* myself. I absolutely want to just take more Xanax (I haven't in weeks until last night) and sleep the day away. I absolutely hate the world. I feel completely alone and like there is *no way* I am going to make it through this day.

I fucking hate the world and I fucking hate me and my life. I'm so tired of all this. 

End rant. Thank you for listening.  ",1.2652576112412175,3.6967968606557413,3.2356206088993003,87.38590163934427,84.49180327868852,6.108665105386418,23.05854800936768,7.447530270364453,1.1382170960187357,950,35,192,16,28,319,144,244,0.244,0.695,0.061,-0.9939,2,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,2,8,15,7,1,14,0,14,17,2,2,1,28,35,17,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,11,1,1,0,13,18,2,0,2,1,0,4,3,12,0,0,7,5,25,3,34,27,5,42,0,0,0,2,4,14,2,2,22,125,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215078570349192,0.0,0.11775613373515563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697813825164932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934711486484066,0.10682237440307024,0.0,0.1898650253662197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412802559979574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232195350763632,0.13003944425239294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920947636497975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933014606578667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634074246545327,0.0,0.0,0.10070207796795934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497756197225713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022267965749286,0.0,0.0,0.06461680685538933,0.0,0.0,0.12535169618944553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490102569030176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267849041143544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030777922658595,0.055546767258143434,0.0,0.0,0.10061854995477136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666139522583997,0.0,0.0,0.07589384367303699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458015621032355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084225723896595,0.0,0.08430512179199434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066972323289766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419639285141588,0.13339930703460476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844560843489866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22755886078662085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047554797359392,0.0,0.09079882626055563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097246898951676,0.0,0.0,0.10467721612397964,0.13002279372380396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629782135857919,0.1306783432700725,0.21554352930743045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938121959744011,0.06706162486590603,0.09024764008329787,0.09120113162552332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277300276012957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,datafeeler,2018/01/22,"Can't figure out how to cope So I was in the military for a few years, spent a few years deployed and had absolutely no problem. 

I was not in combat every day, but played a direct part in conducting drone strikes on an almost daily basis while over seas.

I don't have PTSD, I don't get afraid of loud noises, don't have anger issues, never been shot at etc...

What I do have is an excessive guilt that seems to be getting worse all the time, especially in the last few months, I'm becoming very depressed, I can't focus on anything during the day and I have been stuck in this loop of thinking about what a piece of crap I am even though I know that the people I was helping to get rid of were literally selling other people on the street. 

Does anyone know what this is called?",6.6589873417721535,5.43901068987342,6.9745253164557015,80.23558544303799,65.51898734177215,9.672151898734178,29.87658227848101,8.472884824447931,1.969478481012657,611,16,127,7,8,199,101,158,0.152,0.778,0.07,-0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,2,12,0,21,1,1,1,2,15,31,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,1,2,0,8,6,0,0,9,1,10,1,20,21,7,21,0,1,0,0,2,12,1,2,9,89,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792642997325476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312246477339287,0.0,0.15443809089808522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072690137021558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916341267393224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24206586867346305,0.0,0.1616416453838929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423305911102934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093039235322896,0.12395560656139057,0.0,0.15812178042615138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941526711096448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579260648657214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958808417391092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062792804847481,0.15297775359502025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497980247246817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474423999445116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032305211703281,0.0,0.26021631249813626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957678809681504,0.2193785613514664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084956864064765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025265966140752,0.18438681768822152,0.0,0.10943307055018653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548490802587449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125383295631715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417092699123216
mentalhealth,TheGreatCornlord,2018/01/22,"Diagnosed with Schizoid PD, but I do desire intimacy with others. I was recently diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder with features of Avoidance and Dependence. It makes a lot of sense, but I don't have an aversion to intimacy. It's true that intimacy makes me uncomfortable and I'm a very cloistered person but I do desire relationships with other people. I feel like that itself contradicts what the core of SPD is about. Do you guys think I might've been misdiagnosed, or is this not uncommon for schizoid types?",6.787695852534561,8.90570746236559,7.354869431643626,65.9951612903226,65.7741935483871,11.335791090629801,35.86635944700461,11.20814326018867,4.797016589861752,426,21,68,14,7,140,64,93,0.132,0.701,0.16699999999999998,0.5513,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,9,2,0,3,1,22,14,6,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,9,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,8,2,11,12,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811592794566124,0.0,0.0,0.2716559884579225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984908104367854,0.16933370161419073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346961650478455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580049005460565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20151374218583665,0.0,0.0,0.3164376514882375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25145051454016554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643261964780692,0.4139294943747175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23403773097856465,0.2544806457408221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187873495572932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19557390651463533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tettrabyte,2018/01/22,"Mental Health Coach Please bear with me, I'm trying to figure some things out. 

What I'm looking to do is help people with mental health issues, like BPD or Bipolar, with the in between stuff that therapists, psychologists, and Psychiatrists don't cover. 

I'm getting confused on which point you need to have a degree or license and at which point you can give ""advice"" and not get in trouble. I do potentially want to charge money if legal.

This isn't a post about only going to professionals and such. I'm just exploring an idea in my head. 

Thanks.",4.861057692307694,6.629932990384617,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,70.05769230769229,7.507692307692308,25.5,8.07648339933343,1.5836961538461538,437,13,78,6,8,140,75,104,0.022,0.83,0.14800000000000002,0.8795,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,0,7,4,1,0,0,20,19,7,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,3,1,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,1,5,2,16,19,1,11,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,5,1,50,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774354761313256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286905623508035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897335465537956,0.17418572733400414,0.10319470366168876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863509469828636,0.38601688020141695,0.0,0.0,0.12170760137367707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497894736908334,0.0,0.1895197823543681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870961697932962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247940689118553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659749170860852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463744935520333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809790568127886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588300742393801,0.0,0.0,0.1993176184344674,0.34329894341941924,0.0,0.17390109608437831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786284774747069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717220834232052,0.0,0.21082552561352488,0.1206320530329026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327923444828515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709914094944664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pandag93,2018/01/22,"Do I go through with more therapy or not? I'm a 24 year old female. A year ago I was in a terrible place and had to seek help. I was on medication and desperately needing therapy. I went on the waiting list for anxiety management group therapy (started in July) so waiting list was 6 months. The programme finished at the end of September and I felt great. Then I started to slip down that horrible path again. However, over the course of the past month - I've been trying to pick myself back up and I've been successful over the past week or so! Last week I had no negative thoughts.

Though I have my assessment with a therapist tomorrow to decide if I need more therapy. I'm indecisive. I feel like I don't need it anymore (for the first time ever in my life might I add!) but at the same time, I'm worried of spiralling back down and needing it then having to wait months on a waiting list again. 

Any thoughts?",2.551374715632111,4.712286646408842,4.1435684107897295,84.31884302892429,77.56353591160222,8.236724081897952,28.87910302242444,9.007467420416297,2.5926467988300304,717,33,144,18,17,239,103,181,0.098,0.851,0.05,-0.7372,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,13,0,12,2,0,1,1,31,31,14,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,4,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,11,2,15,3,26,19,3,43,0,0,0,0,2,14,0,5,28,95,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534795571452707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081793423161672,0.0,0.0909152659727372,0.0,0.11786122455502193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182767262213272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526042964929448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075011206706586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600910518305237,0.08490211315549735,0.1141087909554414,0.0,0.0,0.10108856926000873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754173289579822,0.0,0.0,0.13102583049345834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965856784974712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968736486555879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394296836914042,0.05806113146028484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972273646011695,0.0,0.12607460791908934,0.0,0.0,0.28458022572804204,0.0,0.0,0.3524850140345619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247066920022814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268999194090085,0.0,0.0,0.1241665914672458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823666257727302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436334744124659,0.13798693957480124,0.0,0.0,0.11676353831641155,0.1886975793270357,0.13859767944881135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068721387099435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065883233231515,0.0,0.0,0.11016949535290203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069175957544805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306316336865805
mentalhealth,rileyaustin7,2018/01/22,Do my addictions define me I have been struggling addiction for a while now and I want to know if it defines me as a person ,2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,4.910769230769233,83.0092307692308,74.38461538461539,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.2670615384615385,98,4,20,2,2,34,23,26,0.116,0.83,0.054000000000000006,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8092435823421071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398114303307785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240846829033572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880195184491248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189211943484961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ButterflyBat,2018/01/22,"Came off meds, bad mood swings? I was on 20mg fluoxitine for nearly 2 years. I weaned myself off and stopped taking them about 2 months ago. 

I didn't notice any withdrawal symptoms but I have had bad mood swings since. I can't tell if that's just my mental health acting up or if I'm still settling after coming off. 

How long does it take for brain chemical things to settle? ",3.371491228070173,4.918563342105267,3.9447368421052635,89.3414912280702,73.47368421052632,6.64561403508772,20.561403508771924,7.1686216300943375,0.36299824561403504,298,6,62,3,6,94,62,76,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.8337,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,1,0,10,10,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,4,0,8,0,11,6,0,16,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,3,7,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926252262288589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477728994276773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628764022439744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425810422572804,0.0,0.24853574579676035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871865430149133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901625575899987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23098200177789885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230554619613047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413736782242734,0.0,0.2189894361742324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17344848630212426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24739991430300184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797545667688791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353776103762758,0.18167431011237292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22586011568324696,0.3267683150702259,0.0,0.18993163885377812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436587888891608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399354466406928
mentalhealth,Ceasar_JL,2018/01/22,"How to deal with anger? so long story short: 

i grew up being told that being angry was bad

i kept my anger within myself, never expressing it

Im pretty emotionless, dont show emotion often 

would often just try to ""forget"" about my anger and not deal with it

Now when im angry i wanna rip my head off. Like literally rip my head off. Idk why like there are more peaceful ways to die but thats how i feel. 

I tend to get angry when i have to do stuff i dont want to do and when i feel like im not in control of my life. 

I use to deal with anger by yelling, slamming my door, throwing stuff across the room but my parents would always yell at me if i did any of that which just makes me even more angry. 
",1.2837850229240964,2.7571072715231817,3.0062251655629133,94.19770249617932,78.93377483443709,5.440855832908814,18.237901171676008,5.873414542411696,-0.4181394803871625,542,10,126,3,13,180,88,151,0.201,0.73,0.069,-0.9658,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,14,8,4,0,1,0,12,3,2,5,1,28,21,11,1,5,7,1,2,3,0,2,1,2,2,0,8,5,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,4,20,3,22,13,2,18,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,3,9,86,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181226747076968,0.0,0.0,0.09138083620191052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121990202649583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071501445970034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156097602197079,0.0,0.0,0.13946190948750484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149772321909462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115582036604314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875461316588219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358899015851708,0.0959988172083642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020633504817837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758187417682575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43545002965746604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491431222256726,0.1969491596431174,0.0,0.0,0.11891924490706834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969756160021729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363967701884164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920954087673755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670952125254646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307658587489477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840279692809647,0.0,0.09123303069344436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605841580649068,0.0,0.0,0.07925892188745907,0.10666205404644408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125416663211615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091485534967254,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tlaloc_0,2018/01/22,"Am I doing this right? I hope that I am doing this right. So, my first post on Reddit after lurking for a long time. Exciting eh?
Well...
I've been having a lot of problems with life and school lately.
I cannot find the motivation to get anything done. It is like there's this insurmountable *wall* in my mind. Only sometimes do I get things done, when I'm under so much stress that I feel like a cornered animal with no other choice than to finally face my problems and fight. This, obviously, is not a viable solution for every assignment and leaves me feeling mentally exhausted for days or even weeks, and then I am right back to being late with everything.
I find it easier to get things done from home. There I have floor heating, a nice chair, music, no noise and a forest outside my window.
Going to and being in school takes a huge toll on me. I have tinnitus and a sensitivity to loud sounds, so taking the bus and the subway is torture. Especially the subway. Every time I take it I fear for my life, because I know that I will kill myself if my tinnitus gets worse. There's just no other way. My hearing is one of the most important things in my life.
The school itself is always cold and bright, and it somehow manages to feel sterile and filthy at the same time. The people in my class are people with no ambitions. It is an education focused on art, but they are only here for the easy math and have never drawn before. Many of them drink and smoke, some do drugs. 
I cannot see potential friends in any of them.
I am trying to change to another school, but their education is different. I will have to catch up, and I am not sure if I can do that...

I used to ride. I am trying to find a horse again. Riding school did not work out for me. I ride for fun, not for competition.

Sorry for the lack of structure in this rant. ",2.7351923076923086,4.665224208791209,4.147348901098901,85.58827609890113,76.14285714285714,7.187362637362638,22.36401098901099,8.07648339933343,1.1317626373626368,1428,40,289,24,32,472,189,364,0.12,0.8,0.08,-0.8877,1,0,3,0,1,1,52.0,0,0,4,3,14,18,3,2,20,0,37,7,1,2,3,51,54,24,1,6,10,0,3,2,1,2,5,3,2,0,20,19,1,0,8,2,0,5,11,8,1,2,5,9,39,10,46,45,6,43,0,0,2,0,7,20,0,8,18,213,59,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329288092873612,0.0,0.0,0.05990008876857693,0.0923636743727248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248556412102912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773110037179032,0.0,0.053695142435161776,0.0,0.07495293153899228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318111195932703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056806843904920565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202895275279126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27042130866001723,0.0,0.08628871150771075,0.10214938691213762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058178600987084175,0.0,0.14842900980399504,0.0,0.07916415110406437,0.0,0.0,0.09911890315969536,0.13361363562683282,0.06292717282378274,0.0,0.09649163310835172,0.2415213319694817,0.0749241406592907,0.0,0.0,0.0680534210922966,0.0,0.1840808588010892,0.0,0.05006012383893732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927698396352168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835535758129401,0.08748721135696669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745181106020777,0.0,0.048408620973837566,0.0,0.1987250056169667,0.0932681570801395,0.0,0.0,0.18664884117425065,0.08606671183917743,0.0,0.0,0.0779515007992081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488580217650337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930327350133667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876787771655696,0.0,0.08893965322021392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647518191220032,0.0,0.06793575230213818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596879464546649,0.1339835866570591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122132604043704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436005043680216,0.0,0.0,0.16856883832926908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256695691474339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457281677417987,0.07019148307265266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711725302283542,0.09860274125272328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089983720629687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301805583163885,0.0,0.1986844457468784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755571351869959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408733310931516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196064046752368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607622886913194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699169188111147,0.07065561060054353,0.0,0.07919802602703413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412614566309524,0.0,0.08976504365944347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peptodismal-,2018/01/22,"'Mindfulness' just enrages me and leads me to violent thoughts. Help? I've been suggested by a couple friends to try mindfulness but literally any time I read these suggestions they make me feel worse, they piss me off, and I just get the urge to deck someone in the jaw. Like what am I supposed to do with this?",2.8810000000000002,5.347857099999999,3.4533333333333367,88.11500000000002,78.0,8.0,28.33333333333333,8.841846274778883,2.3848333333333342,246,11,50,6,6,77,46,60,0.184,0.71,0.106,-0.7399,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,3,0,3,0,3,2,2,2,0,12,7,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,9,2,8,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,2,31,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945966922130088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166274720982245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468966608708198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22108432409013512,0.0,0.14950531359318098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918051229268128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398019416820977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910121368161648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5778743464001342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862346138800361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242460046342185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271768334266443,0.16686055035657185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942819384393092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29161860911377435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hal9throwaway,2018/01/22,"Going to doctor about hallucinations, scared and unsure I’ve suffered hallucinations and delusions since I was a kid. Recently they’ve grown unbearably worse. I hallucinate whenever I’m not completely focused on something else and it’s like I can’t control my own thoughts. It’s impossible to sleep because of it and it just makes it worse. And until now, I’ve been able to recognize when something was real or fake, but now its all blurred together. At night its worse. I go through bouts of depression because of it. Have panic attacks. I’ve called the police to my house over things that weren’t real in the end. It’s effecting me greatly. I’m afraid I won’t be able to function in normal life however...

I’m terrified the doctor won’t believe me. And if he does, I’m afraid he’ll have me admitted to the hospital and I’ll lose my job and anger my family. I’ve gone to the doctor just to chicken out and not tell them everything before but...I can’t keep on like this. Especially not with the stress of college and having a roommate around me all the time. 

I just don’t know how to tell him... I’m scared to.   

I don’t know exactly what I intended this post to be for... I guess to get all this off my chest, get some reassurance, advice, etc.. I guess it would be to get it off my chest mostly, but any advice would help. I’m in the US if that changes anything...",2.529014598540148,4.568385142335766,4.101918248175186,85.17483357664234,77.13868613138686,7.595678832116787,25.923503649635038,8.488131031819089,1.8263806131386868,1075,41,220,22,25,358,141,274,0.173,0.769,0.058,-0.9866,3,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,1,0,1,3,9,16,2,6,10,0,18,7,3,5,4,48,39,18,0,5,11,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,1,18,13,0,2,5,0,0,4,10,12,0,0,6,0,23,4,33,25,7,24,0,3,0,0,12,11,0,8,10,134,41,5,0.21189759921992968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20706388154706215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204881687392277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718683465622333,0.09431689410279838,0.0,0.12053205482165945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917080972205985,0.0,0.09015462497026318,0.11936801594488634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818557018771204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207978167785193,0.0,0.11108530063078156,0.0,0.1188305877718653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125354585576584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253292575075147,0.0927165085150415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850662702109817,0.0,0.09383918918463967,0.0,0.11816091786546938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952199494714003,0.0,0.09987909907057976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606162476229502,0.0,0.12042628881877633,0.0,0.0,0.11680892560210615,0.23342909508732346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101524707371343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225068979176952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513783544492124,0.09417216114662437,0.0,0.0,0.11645337893031048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483477044276715,0.10352246361769286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852960611017745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072164644556347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994257712654346,0.10380732855763504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430808839816615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146966307309613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24118585820052466,0.0,0.0,0.10461165785641784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21214646265421114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764194188204852,0.0,0.1060253145659568,0.0,0.0,0.1631291242595479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136399198958675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852078414829678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038767467644537,0.0,0.0,0.08411151229455363,0.061779597070247314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744336079916432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32391263478519444,0.15052597484670893,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dhdesyhrdfy,2018/01/22,"I feel like I have no personality I don’t mean I feel boring, I feel like I genuinely don’t have a personality. Like when I talk to people I feel like I’m playing a character... For example if 100 people asked me the same question I’d probably give a slightly different answer to each person, as in wording it differently to come off to how I would like to be perceived by whoever I’m talking to.

Basically I feel like I have no identity.
Even in my thoughts don’t feel natural, idk how to describe it. Im a 17 year old guy, with really bad social anxiety if it means anything.",4.106440677966102,4.865585533898309,6.762500000000002,72.85019067796613,70.77966101694916,10.645762711864409,33.39406779661017,10.686352973137794,3.811030508474576,455,22,90,14,8,166,70,118,0.12,0.7120000000000001,0.168,0.6644,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,2,0,22,22,6,0,3,2,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,12,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,6,13,7,14,19,2,7,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,3,9,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987278894426134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062025248875908,0.0,0.12065043082114152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775680883822362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111707700363747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26967320358542224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524061851735643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915291447352741,0.3687920329496157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380277986827087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778625136105212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394031947088019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378302999373701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28116078290462954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354231147984244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178943091328922,0.33806154269587896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914476334001488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457284552673788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267691548457372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155687617968545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746149467066416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245646619718876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167805353250882,0.0,0.0,0.08310817170863838
mentalhealth,Lancaster19,2018/01/22,The roomate the girl with the mental disorder So have you guys watched the roomate? The girl in the movie has a mental disorder either schizophrenia or bipolar disorder but in the movie she is obsessing over girls like friendships and stuff honestly schizophrenia isn’t even like that or no where near that this kind of misinformation can make people scared of people with mental disorders. What this girl had I feel is a severe version of OCD not schizophrenia or bipolar disorder which is what I have but damn get it right people.,8.103087719298246,9.315947115789477,6.732368421052634,74.99574561403509,62.05263157894736,9.701754385964913,34.780701754385966,9.725611199111238,3.4498070175438595,436,18,70,8,6,130,58,95,0.245,0.638,0.117,-0.923,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,1,2,9,0,9,2,0,1,0,12,12,7,0,0,7,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,5,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,4,4,9,11,2,6,0,0,1,0,7,6,1,3,2,52,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7723250378314657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901829713766958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814681066047082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041491333622228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344945979540102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034849602186455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168952154526642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996404700822849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074676176868044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803101892921096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150979937666766,0.0,0.0,0.13493431854378246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225855215635994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542863102051229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,21centuryy,2018/01/22,Yelpers hate me... I don't understand what's wrong with me I am a server at popular Asian restaurant in my area. Many foodies are easily attracted. I try to do my best as a server. I put a happy face on I try to be attentive and know the answers to the questions. It just seems like some people don't like me. I may not be the most social server but I do my job. Reviews on yelp make me feel very bad about myself because every bad review that has to do with service is about me. Why am I the only one that ever gets trashed on? There's also like 3 different regulars I can't serve because they have had a bad experience with me. One lady told my boss that she doesn't want me to serve them anymore and I had no idea why. When I served she would tell me all about her daughter and blah blah blah so I thought she liked me. The day she talked to my boss I wasn't even her server. The only thing I can think of was that I gave her daughter too much sauce when she asked me to get them a little bit. Well of course then I look bad to my boss. The other day it was packed and I took a bit long to get to a guy that needed another Chardonnay. My boss went to talk to them because apparently they were regulars and they told her how lousey my service was. WE WERE PACKED. Everyone around them understood. A lot of the customers around their table thought they were terrible people too. They probably also felt bad for me because they can probably tell I was crying. But of course all the owner cares about is money and did not even think about defending me. I also can't stand management they just put an extra burden on me. That whole weekend I couldn't stop crying. Every time a new incident happens I can't brush it off. I think about it too much and can't stop crying about it. ,1.7248829039812643,3.7485884672131182,3.125444184231072,91.28001639344265,79.62841530054645,6.25935987509758,21.386104605776733,7.33818517376401,0.6240353786104609,1393,40,299,19,35,454,173,366,0.15,0.762,0.08800000000000001,-0.9845,3,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,12,1,26,19,1,0,19,0,35,1,1,6,3,53,62,18,0,4,6,2,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,14,13,0,2,15,1,1,4,12,9,1,2,20,4,66,10,37,37,12,28,0,0,1,0,36,11,0,6,16,213,80,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062478971075191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014588842028204,0.0,0.0,0.08525804921684282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306109663484022,0.08036931744648969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589022068797433,0.209623376356306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902190576949796,0.0,0.1877115481904575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765102405286378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832984027389757,0.11088565817545178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981920395252667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356329658055553,0.07776379272833753,0.14486501372963034,0.08214696898100847,0.0,0.08409408127498233,0.0,0.0,0.04346845940046147,0.0,0.08254362664297403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347456075439515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512272795907579,0.07602201519987979,0.09151549365425728,0.0,0.08487649149878924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704842501019588,0.0,0.0,0.08531086898108298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724625968513806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800025020325907,0.08616342359984958,0.0,0.07607977206365918,0.07219222498315113,0.0,0.0,0.07308768531690063,0.0,0.0,0.05738490894845012,0.08715897221813756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263940678242679,0.06374485075184493,0.0,0.08302930025068413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165095043626134,0.13076644617013114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920002285934862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853780310568232,0.0,0.0,0.17284498046370722,0.09630484397942722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826285866540711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763446820697926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374770126572647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819709229076485,0.15028121733873767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057113917808885126,0.1652562013840686,0.0,0.13649940908133915,0.05012915749178627,0.0,0.0,0.16429393796201694,0.0955146121696458,0.1167344812062712,0.0,0.0,0.08949665775267394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093334668142184,0.05070668516203167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729636641055812,0.0796940324729745,0.15514712301359435,0.09598120779237174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610698406717945,0.09399349757263556,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarathebraddy,2018/01/22,"My Dad is dying and my Mom is being inappropriate My dad is in his 70's and doesn't have a working liver. He recently was admitted to the hospital after a quick decline in health and overall functioning. 
My mom initially thought everything was going to be fine and he was going to get better. After much denial she has finally realized he only has days left to live, and these are his final days.
Since she has come to realize this she wants to talk about planning his funeral, and keeps bringing it up in front of him, while he is in varying states of consciousness. She says he should have a say, and we all need to talk about it. I think its horrific and morbid and should already be documented in his will, or leave that to a private conversation between husband and wife, and not a whole family meeting, or while nurses are working on him in the ER. The last time she brought it up was in the communal kitchen with other patients around, and my dad sitting in a wheelchair within arms length but facing a window, fully conscious.

Am I being a terrible person for not wanting to have this conversation in front of a dying man, or is this really inappropriate? Are there any funeral customs I am not aware of? ",7.850584415584414,7.199754458874459,8.3149025974026,69.73521103896105,62.85281385281385,11.509523809523811,36.99891774891775,10.864195022040775,4.0819982683982685,964,41,170,22,12,321,131,231,0.059,0.921,0.02,-0.8677,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,13,0,28,5,3,0,1,37,41,18,4,5,7,7,0,0,0,3,1,2,2,2,10,16,1,1,7,0,0,7,4,1,1,0,6,2,20,2,34,28,3,36,0,0,0,0,34,15,0,3,12,131,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462041806300304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144540712067374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279906785088216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193484483244428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285026898518226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924135180981015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096441392706514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340705782447397,0.0,0.14063070439853853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32683200327911555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779387729137893,0.0,0.16956133948223498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856806829032413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325952824967306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215990834282752,0.0,0.15795679707495175,0.16208113773945265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172593526290866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34942836335856964,0.0,0.0,0.10966218561067917,0.11061278072944007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345575420118315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025551457954646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556654168126498,0.0,0.14729419137282124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23726291593183654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340067277758153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398054821167205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558653366913784,0.0,0.11842979494289052,0.08698624971884558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759768006730247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166550680823065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21720511897755154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsYatG,2018/01/22,"[Question] Why am I thinking this? For the past 6 months whenever I get sad I think of very sad scenarios. Some of them aren't even possible. Many of them involve death of me or someone I love. I don't know why I think these thoughts and sometimes they even are the cause of the sadness starting. I was wondering if there was any way for me to try and stop these thoughts because lately they've been getting more abundant. Every time I think these thoughts I get very depressed almost to the point of wanting to make them real. I realize this isn't very informative but I thought, if anywhere, reddit would be the place to ask. Thank you guys.",2.995133333333332,5.348609200000006,3.198900000000002,90.68128333333335,77.0,6.086666666666666,28.816666666666666,7.1686216300943375,1.5397866666666666,510,23,101,6,12,156,79,125,0.104,0.847,0.049,-0.5494,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,4,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,2,0,27,29,6,1,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,13,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,7,0,18,2,12,20,2,9,0,4,0,1,11,2,0,7,6,61,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519743736336678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181443444067744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622025571682385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230353637609679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869699926142698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628772083953573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835150017277265,0.0,0.11375547073389868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116183834986544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336855012792877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420039349086269,0.0,0.1523021449136303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185578403629145,0.0,0.0901231727715312,0.13688342903637998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077672207563007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888653968479846,0.0,0.0,0.1410613310075416,0.0,0.12763226602561709,0.1522084706010779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124704825253,0.0,0.0,0.15367596670269176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143972786803618,0.0,0.13353271223385965,0.0,0.09556390034946327,0.0,0.0,0.11287809943481154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430313682130605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460471509976577,0.0,0.42874546821709975,0.07872799320082514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166592760126688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342031054179458,0.07963500215073255,0.10716816102357447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436590251440629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641737756403395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591036916932613,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatwouldyoulike,2018/01/22,"What has been a better alternative for you than antidepressants besides therapy? I want to quit medication. Weed? Acupunture? Meditation? What do you do to prevent depression from getting the best of you?

I'm already in therapy and am looking into meditation.",4.7532890365448495,8.2349541627907,6.5638538205980055,58.94418604651165,88.76744186046511,9.899003322259137,38.70099667774087,9.23628265651192,5.921620598006648,211,14,27,8,7,72,35,43,0.075,0.7120000000000001,0.213,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,9,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,8,8,1,2,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115455414375401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962759017120352,0.249687816076804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24316055437949655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749979068277566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23707647918241825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844062388182018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002805303752797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6457117349837159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651879606192338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway58point9,2018/01/22,"I don't feel anything. I'm a 15 y/o male and sometimes I just don't feel anything. Like nothing at all. I can end up being a massive dick to people but I just don't feel remorseful or regretful about it. 

I want to seek help but I am anxious about talking to my parents and how they might react.

Any help?",-0.8501515151515129,1.2785773181818172,1.7518181818181835,95.56439393939397,94.0,4.1454545454545455,22.484848484848484,5.82211442006289,0.2767393939393945,237,10,53,2,9,81,45,66,0.153,0.6859999999999999,0.161,0.1265,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,2,1,16,12,6,0,2,5,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,8,1,7,10,1,3,0,1,0,1,6,2,1,2,2,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385181194395746,0.0,0.0,0.2888134686911307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42075886434517584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22643138054090825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38779529599512574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34271567293095784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489842760591065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27120588066556944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453045448797812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28387077771350555,0.0,0.0,0.17723658634685094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252845907259245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205483021673388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078990032891884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Firefly1089,2018/01/22,"Seeing my GP tomorrow morning and nervous for it I’m seeing my GP tomorrow morning to try and get my problems out I guess, but don’t really know what to do or say, and don’t want anyone else to find out, and most of all, don’t want to be sent to a psych ward or hospital and kept there, is that something that could happen? (UK) I haven’t really opened up to anyone out loud before, and not sure I’ll be able to say everything (there’s quite a lot I guess)

Just any tips or things I should know going in? Like will he just refer me to a therapist or is it him I should say everything / only a few things etc? Thanks",1.6746981263011804,3.1246070458015285,3.5568355308813326,90.77322692574604,77.77862595419846,7.206384455239418,20.306037473976406,8.00094639256281,0.6661236641221366,477,11,109,8,11,161,77,131,0.047,0.868,0.085,0.6905,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,4,0,13,0,0,0,2,35,28,11,0,6,8,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,0,0,7,10,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,2,6,10,3,15,20,5,10,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,8,3,70,17,1,0.15804986924499909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747933084755182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22102428683720676,0.16194076851093694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448879780457526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618995995722282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203038523793534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626738280430726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840900627260109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445471717512687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257453341272307,0.0,0.08982338295259902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34821949934636137,0.0,0.13976297740564386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737201495517728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772151827058438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436834691528854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202040475606945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123237976638326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810549068500644,0.0,0.0,0.20250158667309048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770627990426173,0.0,0.0,0.2518905660054233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167451096278308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489601313200395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551108493117978,0.0,0.18350807988605172,0.2100026205115287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730548655146303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644381562322312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darkwingedrussia,2018/01/23,"My mother thinks she is being pursued by a guy running a detective agency Where do I even begin. 
Like the title says, my mom is 100% convinced that a person she dated and rejected a few years ago has been controlling her life through people in her close proximity, mainly her (former) friends, close ones (me, my sister, her mother, ...) and our neighbors. 

First let me describe this person that I have pieced together through a lot of talking and listening the past 5 years. He is a man she dated 5 years ago and rejected, which in turn lead him to do all these things to her, because ""he never in his life got denied anything and I rejected him, so he is trying to make my life miserable"". He's a Jew (plays a major role in her story) that works for some kind of detective agency which has the sole purpose of making her life miserable. He's extremely well spoken and is a world class hacker, seeing that he can convince literally anyone to do anything to scare her/ make her miserable in some way and can access any information on anyone. Some examples: every electronic device she owns is bugged in some magical way. Laptop? keylogged after every reinstall of the OS. All the phones she had over the years? All bugged. Our router is hacked and send everything she does to him. He can listen to all conversations she has on Skype and by mobile and can read all the text messages she sends and receives. 

Like I mentioned he is also a true master of human psychology, seeing that he can without failure convince literally ANYONE to do ANYTHING. Convince her mother, my grandmother, to say things to her? No problem. Convince the mobile service provider to give him access to every activity on her phone? Check. Convincing a bank to give them all her bank details? Done that. Convince every person of a certain descent to say things to her that would in a very specialized way remind her of him? Done that to at least 20 people I know of. 
He does this by either searching for deep, dark secrets in the lives of people that would convince them to fulfill every command he gives them, seeing that otherwise he would ""spread these secrets to the right people to ruin their lives"". As I mentioned, I myself can name at least 20-30 people that she thinks are fulfilling or have fulfilled his commands, and pointing out that there is literally no person on this planet with the power to hack into the lives of at least 30 people around the globe, unveil their darkest secrets, make them shut up about the fact that this person literally invaded their whole personal life to find dirt on them, and to make them perform some stupid thing like ""mentioning that there is a really nice Jewish district in the town she was born"" or to make someone of her friends give her a kid's bible, only to find that there is a dried leaf in there that ""she picked up on a date with him, which he kept and put in that book just to years later give it to her to remind her of him"". 
She multiple times has claimed that he can write messages using accounts of other people because she can ""recognize his writing style anywhere"". She dated a person a year or 2 ago, but this was set up from the beginning to gain even more control of her. 
I can go on and on about different scenario's where she is convinced that her life is being controlled, heck even when our water boiler broke down, the guys that came to fix it were hired to install bugs, camera's or something of that sort in our home... 

How do I deal with this? Tomorrow morning we are going to a psychologist to discuss this issue, but she doesn't want to talk to her when I am around because I would interrupt her. I for one am afraid that she will say that everything is fine and dandy, fearing that the psychologist will eventually be part of the system. 
Even if I talk to the professional myself, she will not be able to discuss the things that she discussed with her and I'm afraid that if any doubt or speck of mistrust forms between her and the psychologist, that seeking professional help will be off the table...
She already announced that ""this is probably all part of his master plan to put me in a psyche ward or to dismiss any claim that I will have against him when I will go to the police with all the evidence that I have collected on the ground that I am mentally ill"" (She has 0 evidence to speak of or to show for, while I showed her years ago how to screenshot something)  
What makes me the most afraid is that during one of these extremely ridiculous stories I once said that I absolutely do not believe her. This lead to her having an extreme mental episode where she was declaring that one of these days she was going to disappear and never come back or she will simply slit her throat ... not something that a son wants to hear from his mother. This lead to me having a mental breakdown, were I couldn't keep myself from bursting into tears the following days when I even thought back to those word.

How do I proceed in this situation? Every logical argument in the book has allready been used, but to no avail. Continuing like this is no option, because I am extremely afraid that something one day is going to send her over the edge to do the unthinkable.

tldr; My mother has a really severe case of paranoia and has already multiple times considered and even threatened to coming suicide. What are the best steps I can undertake in this situation and has someone experienced something even remotely similar to her situation?",10.183415054333423,7.801986312925173,9.355754704479194,69.64011496156904,59.53449951409135,12.153379273787436,39.324167329269365,10.436869588844218,4.006152380952382,4352,164,771,72,44,1380,408,1029,0.081,0.865,0.055,-0.9849,3,3,5,0,0,1,108.0,5,0,9,15,31,42,2,10,57,0,88,9,1,19,13,124,131,46,1,10,19,8,0,4,3,11,7,9,2,12,67,38,1,5,11,6,4,21,12,18,1,6,16,13,121,24,138,97,30,118,2,8,3,0,161,52,1,20,44,578,188,14,0.04739044423639013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803507775910256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459306730580917,0.03789812113414527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668138150496942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940950147838833,0.0,0.11699489303702805,0.0843750854560468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288065276047515,0.0,0.11555509977721153,0.0,0.0,0.053392802222108564,0.049733347468028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420204324803323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164534294588714,0.0,0.0,0.15945723870713086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091688748056514,0.048857467100294816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495129276851365,0.0,0.0,0.08294339421966619,0.09699375612926198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910659027747967,0.0,0.2395709592135521,0.0,0.08518295105236598,0.0,0.0,0.05332742509369905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662801496354884,0.040310287658053785,0.0,0.0,0.07322747931991057,0.0,0.0,0.22730616187806996,0.13466540786378253,0.0,0.03790246745531147,0.0,0.0,0.09384798101811068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341247488698842,0.0,0.031764815823961005,0.0,0.047536479549739316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0494633113588392,0.0,0.04212280429668692,0.0,0.049349855034161214,0.02604454878513333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845994003254006,0.2008396335966108,0.09261030908039804,0.0,0.12553989148175834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040289660991455666,0.0,0.0,0.2214344266443455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327526431652085,0.0,0.0,0.055503115526857286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310086424663986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050469276454972255,0.16056495744457372,0.03604256833697903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263846588586563,0.045239541364172464,0.22998196914073546,0.28965655580798194,0.0,0.0,0.044799287748664623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109491424005922,0.04534625491493177,0.0,0.09528097157220046,0.0,0.0,0.04740326876363595,0.0,0.06071906415901871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04047118044088906,0.04507916477134025,0.15074713347972174,0.0474461020104669,0.0,0.11329214518471176,0.0,0.0,0.05353771283346749,0.0,0.0,0.15980653471044004,0.0,0.0,0.08030753922737817,0.18241739630399167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051837454214263536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142719318772635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574205268942717,0.060731766248818785,0.0,0.03762271915970421,0.05526749827619266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03217500084604926,0.05154719482055724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186025605818875,0.0,0.039102079623843725,0.05590422370938932,0.11284898637371332,0.0,0.0,0.04260970073206842,0.0,0.0,0.05290973857959778,0.0,0.0456826971119338,0.0,0.03450080782155879,0.0,0.0,0.1346592475490453,0.0,0.0,0.21362524632041804
mentalhealth,jckc913,2018/01/23,"Need advice Hello, I'm a 34 year old male, who has been struggling with anxiety and depression since childhood. I grew up in a family that was very dysfunctional (I won't get into all that) and avoided any kind of help, medical, psychological etc. I was a very energetic kid and instead of my mother trying to focus my attention in a positive way they put me on ridlin, I hated it. it made me sick, felt really dull, and gained weight. I eventually quit taking it, and just tried to deal with my attention issues. In some ways they helped me, I was able to hyper focus on task, find flaws and differences in thing, but I didn't learn how these were valuable until later in life. I really struggled in highschool because I just wasn't interested. I would jump at the chance to do anything else, in fact ""jumping at the chance"" or being ""impulsive"" is probably the best way to describe me. Even to this day, i'm very impulsive, which is not good with a wife and two kids. I struggled in my 20's with not knowing what to do, and then after countless failed careers I made my way to IT, the only thing I've ever been good at. I thought if I made good money, could go on vacations, have nice things I'd one day be happy. I have all those things. I'm not rich but I make good money, and we go on 3+ vacations a year, I have a nice house etc. I'm not happy though. It scares me, I lay in bed at night and can't sleep. I've shared this with my wife to an extent (she's a genuinely great person) but she doesn't struggle with mental illness. It's like a quadriplegic explaining their routine to me, I can empathize but have 0 advice or insight. Sorry for the long diatribe. Simply put how do I get better? I'm scared because of past experiences I've had with medication, and I'm scared of past experiences with psychiatrist when I was a young child. I felt they were very judgy, quickly wanted me to be medicated, and were cold. ",4.091814236111111,5.102320455729172,5.474895833333331,81.14163194444444,71.00520833333334,8.709722222222222,26.98263888888889,9.049649993220411,2.030559722222222,1501,49,304,29,27,505,202,384,0.153,0.713,0.135,-0.3535,0,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,4,5,10,29,1,8,16,0,31,8,1,6,4,61,54,25,0,5,13,3,3,1,0,2,6,0,1,5,19,22,1,1,10,0,3,7,9,12,0,2,18,4,42,17,45,30,7,48,0,3,0,0,22,19,0,4,19,195,61,4,0.07910429033252922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545995939885919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379363002781935,0.0,0.06051456558642085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509609082132006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964424823344641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301507235710855,0.06996131645715381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315833905583723,0.0,0.0,0.1020314462596407,0.0815530498751052,0.06813240935075532,0.0,0.0,0.08264714690754095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608148413199516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644438799114265,0.05224763771430525,0.07155435941186253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475834973691374,0.07457248482395726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519050478569996,0.0,0.07229988826888067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265745357913183,0.0,0.08991358231012489,0.26539570261316464,0.0,0.08721275935429053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841597599455824,0.0,0.07809910969156117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604387672603642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912757302984163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256432716731911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823749454851677,0.04347364921084442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05587369965365853,0.038646360544430665,0.0,0.0,0.0700048076774409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224551176523088,0.05280272805184445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23906775094979354,0.07971851912754054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865482895474713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742340178054915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300664593007555,0.0,0.053603114364446654,0.06016237737373008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102799191884342,0.0,0.06907081512364888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528780423327817,0.0,0.0,0.1590433210715759,0.0,0.08413714990820723,0.0,0.0,0.10135246793627344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375915834336562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543588640424919,0.0,0.07916141850496583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855077666362883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307879185534829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947658167966264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210213502141971,0.0,0.07771956361729067,0.06279997048905384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741324118759213,0.0,0.0772733973519393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26107729598323115,0.04665775995961685,0.2511572146572992,0.0,0.09632771480512872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619341823926215,0.0,0.0,0.1018811388762287
mentalhealth,mmmp1230,2018/01/23,"Why am I always the center point? I have really bad GAD & depression. I have plenty of days where I’m the happiest person at work. Cracking jokes and being positive. 

Whenever I do have off days, which are plenty, everybody is always asking what is wrong. I understand why they ask, but if I’m not in this awesome mood they tell me how it’s my fault everybody is in a bad mood and etc...I don’t understand sometimes ",1.3330120481927707,3.87050115662651,3.5698915662650634,84.25146385542172,85.6265060240964,7.6573493975903615,21.55301204819277,8.548686976883017,1.847820240963856,328,11,63,9,10,112,58,83,0.16899999999999998,0.687,0.14400000000000002,-0.3234,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,1,2,8,0,0,3,0,11,0,0,1,0,8,17,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,5,16,0,9,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,1,2,39,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202492355385634,0.2085075159432834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598088714805119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321356960920429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482143982250886,0.0,0.16574738089655586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462029203216035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168030263603295,0.0,0.0,0.18191700429686533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328131551429745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032703674119134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682001195648156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006714558538745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472924308591833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009784351776705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040177621661127,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,THROWAWATY69420,2018/01/23,"I can't tell if I'm mentally ill/unstable or just a ******* up idiotic person. I'm going to pour my whole life out onto Reddit because I need someone to talk because I am confused about myself and I can't talk to anyone in person yet. I'm going to use a different name to refer to myself and the people involved in the story.
I'm between the ages of 18-22. 
When I was 4-8 I was molested by a family member, I am not sure if it presently affects me and my mental health in any way. 
My family is well off, middle class earning 150k-200k a year and we live in a large house going on vacations to Europe and Asia in past years.  
I have 3 other siblings.
My parents are very religious and I was raised as a Christian.
When I was 6-8 I molested one of my younger siblings, I did not touch them inappropriately but I made them touch me inappropriately but not my genitals. I am not sure if this affects me mentally or emotionally. I feel very terrible and guilty due to this.
I've always had trouble in school, my teachers never liked me and would often punish me. I would get terrible grades throughout elementary school, junior high (1.8 gpa), and high school (3.4 gpa). 
I would bully people often as a kid and I didn't have that many friends. During Jr. High I had 3 friends and I was extremely anti-social. 
During High School I started drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. I got moved to a new high school where I spent my sophomore-senior years depressed and sleeping in every class. I would sleep during orchestra, French, physics, English, art, etc. 
I became addicted to this gaming when I was 6-8 years old, I have been playing the same game for over 14 years off and on.
Before my second semester at University I became addicted to gaming again and became extremely depressed so I withdrew and dropped out of University. I would play non-stop 14-16 hours a day without sleep and I would often go days without sleep. 
When I came home from University I became depressed for 2 years. 
I had no friends only myself and my online friends from the gaming community. 
The gaming community that I was a part of was extremely toxic and cruel. Cyber bullying, scamming, and internet dating was extremely common. I have done all of these things because I was introduced to them by the online community. 
I began selling my nude pictures/pictures online to perverts for in-game perks. My parents found out I was doing this and the police were called and became involved because I was being harassed by people online for my idiotic and stupid behavior. 
I have attempted to kill myself once after the police incident which I believe I did in order to gain attention from friends and family. I am not 100% sure. I may have done it as a cry for help or in order to end my miserable life.
I began seeing a therapist and began taking medication. I was also admitted into a mental hospital on a 72 hour hold.
When I was a teenager I became obsessed with the idea of joining the Army in order to become an Army Ranger, I was off and on again obsessed with the idea for several years and have recently given up on the idea of ever becoming a Ranger because it is impossible now and completely unrealistic. 
I recently reconnected with a friend that is attending University in another state. 
I left my house and began living with their family for several months. I began smoking marijuana multiple times everyday.
During this time I began selling my body and prostituting myself to older people for money. I began doing it in order to buy more weed and alcohol and repay my friends for letting me stay in their home. 
I told my friend I was selling myself. I am not sure if I did it in order to gain attention/cry for help/or just wanted money.
My phone recently broke so I have stopped selling myself.
I have not been in school for over 2 years. 
I have only worked 1 job that I was nearly fired from.
I don't have any friends. 
I cannot see my future or past the age of 24.
I often talk to myself. 
I have never been in a serious relationship with anyone. 
I am extremely impulsive.
I get paranoid often.
I've always wanted friends.
I'll try to answer any questions anyone has.
I'm not sure if this should be posted on r/offmychest



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mentalhealth,RandyinBurnaby,2018/01/23,"What Does it Physically feel like? Recently I feel like I don't want to get out of bed. Although it comes and goes a bit, I feel like a lead weight pressing down on my chest and when I'm standing or walking I feel like I want to lay on the floor. 

No matter what or how I eat, I never seem to have any energy. Everything's negative, the future is not bright, there's no light at the end of any tunnels. 
The  main thing I wanted to know was does anyone else feel like gravity is sucking them downwards?",3.6610714285714314,4.257185711538465,4.840824175824178,86.81846153846153,71.69230769230771,8.250549450549451,26.395604395604394,8.418075326091056,1.5179604395604398,390,12,86,6,7,129,69,104,0.102,0.728,0.17,0.735,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,3,7,1,0,6,0,5,3,1,2,1,21,19,7,0,3,3,0,7,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,7,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,1,9,10,6,11,18,2,16,0,0,1,0,1,7,1,3,10,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304201051852813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104385687971262,0.15296326728166054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298390452507147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859845134987732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612859879447357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527589629396036,0.12471102423530216,0.0,0.1322249168283975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341704889892742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774226628608092,0.5332571265357776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799685367193825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204481772081758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646730449361353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514016103387632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474039564869748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590624985565292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918035855493867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26416191053454496,0.0,0.0,0.1817926478708912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KurtmeansWolf,2018/01/23,"How can I get over my fear of failure? I don't know if anybody is going to read this, but i would appreciate if somebody who went through something similar as me could help me. I am a 24 year old university student. I have such a great fear that my colleagues and professors will think less of me if I fail, even though I know that this fear is not rational, that I end up procrastinating, keeping my mind occupied with Netflix and games to get rid of this terrible feeling of fear and panic in my chest, until I finally have to wake up and realise that I wasted the whole day, giving me an even worse panic attack, to which I react with procrastinating even more because I don't know what else to do. I lose sleep because I am afraid of being alone with my thoughts in the dark. When I work on a problem, and I can't solve it immediatly, I immediatly imagine how I can never marry my girlfriend and give her the life she wants, how I will disappoint my parents, and worst of all, the professors and how the other students will think less of me. People I don't even know or care about. It's getting worse and worse, and has come to a point where I feel like I am cornered and can't escape.
I can't stop this cycle, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I am getting older and older, accomplishing nothing. I make plans I don't follow through. My fears are making me slowly destroy myself. The only reason I am not suicidal is because I am lucky to have an amazing girlfriend and family, that I am always afraid of losing. I think I seriously need help. I think my problems stem from the fact that I am a very timid person. I barely ever said a word in school because I didn't want to draw ANY attention to myself. I was basically always the silent weird kid. It got a lot better after high school. I also always had a fear of authority  because I was frequently heavily beaten and verbally abused by a teacher when I was seven for the whole school year, which might have something to do with it. Or at least it didn't help.",6.2892431706224805,5.680876625615768,7.1274697716077045,76.83171518137037,65.99507389162561,9.746350201522617,32.247648902821304,9.095868883498916,2.5982847290640394,1594,56,316,24,22,534,197,406,0.255,0.629,0.116,-0.9965,1,1,2,0,1,0,37.0,0,0,0,8,16,31,3,11,20,0,43,4,3,8,4,69,75,31,1,10,8,1,3,2,2,5,1,1,0,2,21,20,0,2,16,3,0,4,13,24,0,1,10,4,60,7,41,58,9,32,0,4,0,0,15,12,0,8,18,234,81,14,0.0,0.08782615491644527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677127699838138,0.0,0.05927783758624455,0.18503413206445027,0.0,0.0,0.05040762847828692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843280334471913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22592994823575424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555765145427626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755755075461216,0.0,0.0,0.06385223375175493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059182882597547185,0.0,0.0,0.04780457494222348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061922032398572,0.0,0.06565286135649287,0.0,0.0,0.19583579017878694,0.06705042146011861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698785731277988,0.5004682578971669,0.11243967484475234,0.1059100116243635,0.0,0.08120045383873507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549092786199179,0.14221515307808655,0.04212701810508748,0.0,0.059284635826169836,0.08172321462269477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905353117940506,0.07831726683035954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658858190604727,0.0,0.0,0.20368615734635626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05235676960994223,0.07242758606750066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165854114133053,0.0,0.06301853256003702,0.0,0.0,0.09895819623627994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863504625493091,0.07484524795669563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054962842717238634,0.057169867905697676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711250588882059,0.0,0.0777818519982406,0.0,0.0,0.05637549957973,0.0,0.1739397316623735,0.08230718183965471,0.0,0.0,0.051389030102325636,0.06472320209000168,0.0,0.0,0.07007220473397406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185547217378658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414518669360112,0.0,0.0,0.07621297647062386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050997062309461,0.0,0.0,0.22505575878501247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417865966191356,0.0,0.0,0.11413028896855892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197192559435132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108085836025719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998555433819087,0.07282756129840946,0.058847071283765776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116099310100765,0.0874418412907688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871473571044219,0.0,0.16551611512087647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053963975559674464,0.0,0.2266195124653701,0.05265636373795285,0.0,0.0,0.09546830349172986
mentalhealth,newlevel2xxx,2018/01/23,"Got fired from my job, not really sure what to do with myself. Please don't give me any hate for this. I'm not sure if I'm here to vent, or for advice. I'm just not sure of anything right now. 

I worked at a popular well-known sandwich shop, and I've always had issues dealing with people. However, I wanted to be independent and get outside the house so I stuck with this job despite the fact that I absolutely hated it. 

A customer was giving me shit for putting their order in the wrong bag. When they Raised their voice, I raised mine in return. The customer then invited me into the parking lot for a fight. My boss fired me then I walked out the back door but realized I forgot my wallet and went back through the front door to get it. the customer followed me outside and i said if he wanted to fight, we could do it behind the neighboring gas station. as i was heading towards the gas station the customer sucker punched me and before i could react another customer was splitting us up. 

I've been diagnosed with all types of things and nobody really seems to know what i have. I get up everyday and try to do the very best I can and bad shit just seems to happen. 

I'd like to find a job that doesn't involve being around people. I am also a convicted felon, so this narrows my job opportunities considerably. 

I just get depressed because I want to do well but it seems like I always mess up somehow or in someway. ",4.301925795053002,5.399080703180214,5.189277385159013,83.06073586572441,70.59010600706712,7.780141342756185,28.284275618374558,8.07648339933343,1.8076644522968204,1121,40,220,15,20,366,154,283,0.161,0.754,0.085,-0.9669,6,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,2,0,3,3,14,20,7,0,17,0,18,5,3,3,5,51,43,21,0,7,12,0,2,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,12,16,1,1,7,1,1,5,5,11,1,0,10,4,34,9,35,29,3,27,0,1,0,0,14,13,2,9,10,151,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159507268054957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314214609945231,0.17301727444769646,0.0,0.0,0.07070093279585432,0.10901816790010964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555574963152468,0.09255242043938637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988797592858656,0.08680786608240368,0.06337714575748182,0.0,0.08846801873807073,0.0,0.10910665535543222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601792750462366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718512016264656,0.08954638109077727,0.10552402937013812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502369590976499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172732744584237,0.19946869717659926,0.0,0.0,0.08315168120194766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193742457254993,0.0,0.0,0.2052912176725604,0.10669984613900353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996363269003313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851424124701683,0.4126836975602513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713738875136205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158577282266036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838878498994908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441548620075901,0.0,0.0,0.11412423475210975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045152664813276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320748238315028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878700833540898,0.09889615609685774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28394218358188344,0.0,0.0,0.21344068211414605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29396220140199103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907086712699369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058657635357103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250591595821295,0.0,0.0,0.08578342987956028,0.18396679028375826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695712913998372,0.09637818834586777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568900828344087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136712841756923,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ineffably_Sublime,2018/01/23,"A Facebook friend was shilling for book reviews, and I felt obligated to read and review it for him. There is a guy I know shilling for reviews on Facebook for his book. It is a destructive piece of ""literature"" that uses religion to convince people going through pain that their inherent depravity is what is causing their issues.  I read the book and was appalled. I truly think this book promotes destructive methodology and needs to be called out for what it is so I reviewed it.

I normally would just ignore something like this, but he was asking for reviews so...  

""If I could give a lower rating I would. This entire book reeks of destructive methodology.
The first chapters start with: #1 You're bad and deserve the bad things that happen to you. #2 A god exists that could save you from all the bad things. #3 You have to worship that god in exactly the right way for him to save you from bad things. #4 If you ever stop worshiping god the right way bad things will happen to you again.
This is what an abusive relationship looks like. This is a textbook example of how an abuser grooms those they abuse.
If you are depressed, suicidal, abused, or suffer from any other mental illness, get professional help from a licensed, state certified therapist. DO NOT risk your well being to such flawed methodology as is written in this book. ""
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mentalhealth,CherryRipe222,2018/01/23,"Mental health testing and diagnosis questions (names of tests, etc.) I've been abused for my whole life: I don't want to get into a lot of specific details but I was raised on a fundamentalist religious compound, and joined a cult as an adult, and finished up being scammed by a con man and living overseas in sexual servitude. 

I've escaped that living situation and relationship and I'm in therapy with a psychologist.

She's refused to diagnose me. She says mental health diagnosis stigmatize people and she's protecting me. She also won't let me talk about my abusive past. She says it's not contructive. I feel very uncomfortable in her therapy sessions. 

I think it's imporant for her to determine what's wrong with me mentally. I might be helped by being on medication or by a different treatment than she's using. Are there any tests I can inssist she perform or a specific named evaluation? Something I can ask my GP to refer to a different psychologist if she doesn't want to do it. 
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mentalhealth,tiredpixie,2018/01/23,Disassociation stemming from boredom? Is this actually a thing or am I just losing my mind?:/,5.236875000000001,8.797568937500003,7.442500000000003,55.95250000000002,78.375,8.200000000000001,39.25,8.841846274778883,4.686350000000001,77,5,11,2,2,27,16,16,0.305,0.695,0.0,-0.644,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.5097555119294538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5843958274083033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5274424555081445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470378813513648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GalacticRhinoceros,2018/01/23,"Please give any advice you can Hello, I've never posted here before. I'm a 28 year old guy and have a decent job that I like, it's quiet and involves a lot of puzzle solving and I'm pretty good at it. I've never had a ton of friends because I'm very particular and not very open with people so it takes a long time to build up relationships, but the friends I do have are outstanding and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I'm kind of the funny guy but my humor is very blue. I got bullied a lot in grade school and learned to make people laugh because it'd get them to not make fun of me. I think it just kind of stuck. I don't know if any of that information is really important, just wanted to give it in case that's something that people do here. 

For at least 5 years, I have a hard time doing anything outside of my job alone without crawling up inside my head. All the things that I used to do for enjoyment like listening to music or playing video games, I just can't do anything anymore. It's like a wave of apathy that very rarely lifts. Occasionally, I pick up a razor blade and will press it into my shoulder or hand and I don't really know why to be honest. I don't know if I like the pain or maybe I like having something else to focus on for a minute. Or just to feel something that isn't apathy for a moment. 

I think about dying sometimes. Why we're here, what's the point if it ends the same. I doubt I'd ever kill myself because there are things I care about here that I wouldn't leave behind like that, mainly my mom and brother. I worry my brother will end up like me. 

Is there anything I can do? I don't know what a pill could do for me or if a pill works. I think the brain is so complex that it couldn't, but I guess I don't know. I don't want to be in a mental fog or be unaware or not be me anymore. I've also always kind of thought that it's human nature to feel this way: that everybody gets down, gets bored, thinks about their mortality, etc. and that I'm just being soft and need to suck it up. Life is difficult, I just need to learn to deal with it maybe. 

I don't know what's going on but I don't like feeling like that. If I'm hanging out with friends or family I'm usually fine, it's being alone with myself and having time alone where I can't entertain myself and waste away. I can't really explain it. Does anyone else feel like this? What helps you? I've never talked to a therapist or anything like that and understand you cannot give a diagnosis on here, but if you know any methods to help me get out of that feeling, I'd be eternally grateful. Is this what depression feels like and I've just been in denial about having it for years?",2.449319384319381,3.6700371446208138,4.003583052749722,89.31089646464649,75.2610229276896,6.847667147667147,22.58654000320667,7.348242739294969,0.6750144620811289,2099,55,465,24,44,700,224,567,0.118,0.698,0.184,0.9898,2,3,4,0,0,1,49.0,0,4,3,1,23,35,2,1,23,0,52,8,4,4,5,101,101,38,3,14,31,3,10,12,3,4,4,2,0,3,42,23,0,0,24,4,1,2,23,7,0,0,5,13,51,28,62,82,8,43,0,1,1,0,30,22,1,20,29,297,93,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190935112703819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684867876956735,0.0,0.05066462556221932,0.05271607624370681,0.0,0.0,0.1292498373586674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256614161981426,0.044298987381651736,0.0649142423531472,0.2606770586960309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059523702636631474,0.0,0.0,0.11586107081590592,0.0,0.05391007153260483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072465109069725,0.0,0.0,0.06459420497463379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058346776120107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531577826228069,0.054567197038541584,0.0,0.06575203973533762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544200985748564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584922504842738,0.0,0.11222668616666524,0.0,0.07065709093223799,0.0,0.05730783435079621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972504879570086,0.0,0.1922038406363525,0.13578154924507138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684274746007545,0.0,0.1324005887693325,0.18232642518779088,0.036005861300891444,0.05313880624388263,0.05067043600157275,0.0,0.06979219989046384,0.12546196686697775,0.0,0.0,0.056753249295353865,0.0,0.0650200651028737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493046365424464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573926698687912,0.0,0.07009244331563774,0.19792210157375428,0.24372609798399855,0.0,0.0,0.06708334039328152,0.0,0.0,0.044749205368291835,0.37142210423716737,0.0,0.0,0.05606679949500094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772357716286518,0.0,0.0,0.08457933289704163,0.0,0.1272963590376995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384650392236606,0.0,0.0,0.0742001049537847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395321960091986,0.1465888468014483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647996228427337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741372774266842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176624219896207,0.0,0.0,0.06954429122354043,0.059890545264926966,0.0,0.06067616382924601,0.06445437257118428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175967665584518,0.0,0.0,0.06801909681334868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641182056890108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632032623036495,0.06265928824600897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763475095948714,0.05092200235415498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355953711359191,0.08417992039948055,0.1623801974687539,0.0,0.05029645063700961,0.11082767517732199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595434015618885,0.0,0.05471800576782165,0.06977610656722873,0.209096616250056,0.07473633195580402,0.05028790758485115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433528784695822,0.0,0.0,0.06107154324764399,0.0,0.046122880437428466,0.0643396396438099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239479491213437
mentalhealth,stoic_heroic,2018/01/23,"Pulling yourself out of the spiral So I'm (slowly) working my way back out of a depressive episode/slump and I feel like it's two steps forwards and one back. Some days I count as a win just for getting out of bed and doing nothing else whilst on others I'll get out into the world and get loads done but struggle the day after. I know the things I should be doing (let's face it, we all do) like exercising and getting the right sleep but motivation to actually do these things is hard to come by. I suppose I'm just wondering what other people do to motivate themselves on those days when you just want to stay in bed for a little inspiration ",5.245153846153848,5.536007323076927,5.90596153846154,81.66278846153847,68.07692307692308,8.653846153846155,30.09615384615385,8.472884824447931,2.0637692307692306,512,18,104,7,8,167,87,130,0.048,0.804,0.14800000000000002,0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,0,4,7,6,0,1,8,0,10,3,2,2,1,27,21,10,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,9,12,0,0,6,1,0,4,0,2,0,2,1,2,8,4,20,17,2,25,0,1,0,0,2,12,0,2,11,73,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.17596178524697292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27730277066580084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532572056717675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488654795465657,0.0,0.15530535948906565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452522235444369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063034973350345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911728663166265,0.12881733264641032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376829343476476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152714931943418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909660884342228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438467725428626,0.0,0.17618595832705006,0.1807233660820413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301745566402876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218635779114123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500797013499446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398833631825634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804455864064023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19219218716093028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885047699587146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23958703230016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614191056860526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063546739728278,0.14312594359394928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554432139405695,0.13127173312469398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Steps79,2018/01/23,"I molested my sister; I'm ready to die. When I was 14, I attempted to convince my 2 year-old sister to fellate me. In 20 seconds, I exposed myself, she turned her head away, I got the message and regained my f$%#ing sanity, and that was that. I'm done living like this; I can't rationalize what I did, I can't accept it, and I can't look at myself in the mirror. I want to die...I've thought about it, and I think I'm ready; I want to die.",2.99645614035088,2.940950768421054,5.117631578947371,86.57258771929827,72.89473684210526,8.017543859649122,27.41228070175439,7.793537801064563,1.4040175438596494,333,11,78,4,6,117,55,95,0.159,0.706,0.136,-0.6229,0,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,0,9,17,5,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,6,1,20,3,10,11,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,2,51,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091891857663782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6932338738408269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278506286205121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807540156403534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285055175478375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877667791619104,0.0,0.19660607948790013,0.0,0.1869718740429136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336361577659694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266661761800412,0.0,0.17676107314634454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421817900903956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626522164529977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338079541194118
mentalhealth,TravelSize3,2018/01/23,"...I hate not being able to trust myself Spent the whole night inside my own head
It’s just…my x, father of my kid, keeps trying to be my friend

And he hurt me and fucked my opinion of the world so completely 
On top of being overall emotionally/verbally abusive…and on a few occasions raising a hand to me 
I found so many signs and things pointing to infidelity 
But that man would deny and lie
And freak out that I accused him of lying ‘because he didn’t lie he just didn’t tell me certain things’

He made me feel like a crazy person

Any time I think about dating again I have a damn panic attack and the fight or flight response kicks in

…I tanked my next attempt at a relationship with a friend soooo bad
Like honestly I know him and I wouldn’t have worked, but I see my role and how I made it worse
I hurt him
And I drove myself nuts…

I still have such a hard time even thinking about letting someone in…about trusting someone

I feel so fucking broken and I hate it
I want to fix myself..
I’m going to counseling
I’m trying

But I still find myself on days like today where I feel utterly hopeless
And not a damn thing anyone says will help

“It’s only a block of time”
“It’ll get better”
“You’re not broken”
Same shit over and over

I know…I’m fucking aware
But that doesn’t make it hurt less

I feel like I’ll never be able to find someone and let myself be happy with them

I can’t afford for be hurt again like that, I’m terrified of trusting someone and letting them in…only to have them betray me and devistate me…it’s the what if’s that are killing me

I just want to be able to trust my own judgement…I want to be able to let myself be happy again

I just...I feel like I can’t trust myself
With attempt at dating after my divorce I felt like I couldn’t open up
I felt like I was always second guessing myself...
Like 
...am I being irrational about something due to past experiences...
Or am I not reacting enough?
Am I falling into the same shit I did with ex husband where I sacrificed my own happiness for him until there was nothing left?

And on top of that there is the fear of being cheated on again...

And I just wish...I just wish my x could be a decent person for like a minute and fess up to what he did...
I wish I knew the extent of it 
I wish I had proof that i wasn’t a crazy pants

But I know he isn’t capable of really owning his flaws/failures

And you know...maybe he never actually fucked anyone else...but I know he was on his way

He would flirt with other women and his ex’s 
He’d lie about where he was going
He downloaded the tinder app
He changed all his passwords...he’d shit a brick if I walked near his phone or computer
He’d clear his texts and Facebook messages

I mean...the damn signs are there
You don’t do that shit if you’re not doing something wrong

I just don’t know how I’ll ever trust my judgement or anyone else enough to have a good relationship",1.0669960119377748,3.2278554376039956,2.6988622137706995,92.70430208911077,82.81031613976704,5.280099305390487,19.523043604574386,6.5049722329693305,0.06802160948683422,2262,60,488,22,63,742,239,601,0.172,0.63,0.198,0.9196,1,0,2,0,2,1,46.0,0,2,3,6,29,53,17,2,22,0,54,10,6,6,7,100,95,39,1,14,22,4,9,10,2,5,0,1,0,5,21,29,0,2,17,0,1,5,18,27,0,1,18,11,85,26,55,52,13,53,0,5,1,4,50,25,11,9,32,312,106,2,0.24404654315472316,0.0,0.059538555495482315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05076656851642184,0.0,0.0,0.04149000451444184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279822630039087,0.06251363088704975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940954363534607,0.0,0.0,0.050942167425819036,0.03719212688725014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053959833797096034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454222081021865,0.0,0.06396953932948485,0.0,0.0,0.04871282661527352,0.0,0.0,0.03934745771700368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050967392859333285,0.0,0.0,0.12608265841597502,0.0,0.04029761002398227,0.055188517552930735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596810870163581,0.0,0.06865505250669407,0.1542465812464823,0.13076017439440446,0.11716147651857778,0.0,0.1115270595837535,0.0,0.0,0.06689610950881603,0.09427487692885696,0.2256170966329363,0.03187606153718297,0.0,0.06934863726481158,0.051173665422091764,0.0,0.0,0.0672111953338715,0.0,0.0,0.1948440624114248,0.05465444176009025,0.12047271812670107,0.06261554017653766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04089481339906632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612568719377932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422994520430989,0.06750033537428783,0.0,0.20118239662403173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628932080203867,0.24955412503487934,0.0,0.2980720342958744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546136996577548,0.04072574065206062,0.061856222534825464,0.06129438867095007,0.06645955754779806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411186953653927,0.0,0.064886566823179,0.0572552871461211,0.0,0.05854231003215591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640209830689505,0.0,0.07158400890672031,0.0,0.0,0.058242509970784284,0.0,0.10654601408435717,0.0,0.0,0.05767571652377565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039085616178450265,0.0,0.0,0.1310073277395042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851890160690873,0.0,0.0,0.04861837452046426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505102695052626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677984405403052,0.0939394759779222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744794230556662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332685887601018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216002593851245,0.0781875853430167,0.0,0.0,0.10672912641287348,0.0,0.05783189682434599,0.0,0.0,0.08284579158311703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795873063541908,0.0484281966311672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811731250693645,0.2806414805637669,0.0,0.0,0.0444171974992348,0.0,0.062176069238534123,0.08668183110986148,0.06670664596787923,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kanokha32,2018/01/23,"Repetitive thought driving me insane (help) Hey there, I'm a 20y old who suffers depressive episodes, heavy daily anxiety and self-doubt. These are all caused due to growing up in a homophobic country with an abusive alcoholic mother. Any kind of therapist or professional mental health help is outside of my budget right now and will be for a while, so I've finally reached the point of asking strangers online for help and it's making me feel pathetic.

I recently moved away from my country to the UK and my life has finally begun to VERY slowly take a positive turn and for a while I regained some control over my mental health. This all crashed and burned gloriously 3 days ago when one of my biggest fears - not being able to let go of a thought, came to life. 

My anxiety likes to do this thing where during particularly bad episodes it will make me ""check"" myself to see if I'm anxious or feeling better, which will ironically trigger self-doubt and more anxiety. Well 3 days ago out of curiosity I checked an old acquaintance's facebook and saw a homophobic post relating to my country, which admittedly upset me but not particularly much. However, my mind has not been able to stop checking whether it's still thinking about that person, without any emotions attached to him or the prior event, it just mechanically pops into my mind every 2-3-15-30min etc. and I have never had anything like this happen.

It feels like I'm finally going nuts and depression has begun settling in again. If anyone has any advice or input to just reassure me I'm not insane it would be GREATLY appreciated. ",9.556732625482624,8.285773408783786,9.398957528957528,65.33445945945945,59.84459459459461,12.376061776061775,41.75096525096525,11.35114627814755,4.842518146718146,1283,61,216,29,14,420,182,296,0.14,0.7709999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9186,1,0,1,2,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,11,14,0,2,12,0,18,5,0,5,3,49,40,22,0,3,15,1,3,3,0,4,5,0,0,1,15,14,1,2,7,0,4,6,6,6,1,1,6,5,20,8,31,26,6,42,0,3,2,0,11,11,0,7,27,138,35,1,0.193101263753982,0.11439671069807375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434816003517488,0.17117261925435467,0.10318326255436724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969732216157904,0.0,0.22158290734559216,0.10907473197626057,0.0,0.06751044672240007,0.0,0.07945294338777352,0.0,0.09026180742773207,0.0,0.09071249690088196,0.0,0.08061574469469976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539118779132288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104282014854612,0.0,0.09918409503325516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828974351691234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124534340252346,0.0,0.16631783551725113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860646550184347,0.0,0.0,0.1076794765497588,0.0,0.0,0.08134807155097208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864630353508896,0.14645670149669834,0.06897579070465082,0.0,0.31729949359092485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974389821175748,0.0,0.0,0.1064474124980558,0.0,0.0,0.0853794049054647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20525761354829988,0.0,0.0,0.1941475600415236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054262548835552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872956259966968,0.13639313327225594,0.14150928532291246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889659301166995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194600655962068,0.0,0.19497722940901466,0.0,0.0,0.10261804183384844,0.07097582368767567,0.0,0.07446579946118734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026272931809061,0.0,0.06542520690984198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430428762350924,0.0,0.0,0.09127155504592899,0.0,0.09246881627841844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533210102350953,0.0,0.0,0.08245371207926043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693835315351283,0.0,0.20144673191617973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771054593365006,0.08072065150027519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259405929710319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210272524848837,0.06414394963776159,0.06186574636313035,0.0,0.1533008338001904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501936227028424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966438289868423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681061332216089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307136371208607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858679871245511,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dennnx,2018/01/23,"Scored 78 on an IQ test. A quick google search suggests ""mental deficiency"". How accurate is this anyway? I have to admit that I've never been under the illusion that I'm the smartest guy in the room. But mentally deficient? Should I be worried?",2.267246376811592,5.137618043478263,3.817391304347826,81.34898550724641,85.95652173913044,7.41449275362319,25.057971014492754,8.344100000000001,2.348823188405797,194,8,34,5,6,64,40,46,0.047,0.8170000000000001,0.136,0.6298,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,1,1,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834204652693284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7804773622173103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986571162956376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932527949868059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hibzzzz,2018/01/23,"Increasing depression and suicidal thoughts, i have to bear with this 3 more months Hi so I'm a 16 F. I'm currently going through exams etc and my final Cambridge exams are approaching soon. I have a lot going on here but il try to stay as calm as possible writing this, without curse words. So to start off with my parents are very uncooperative and two sighted aka they sometimes act nice and try to be nice parents but for most of the part they are uncooperative af, they never understood me in any way. ESPECIALLY if it's the case with studying....so here are the problems I'm gonna enlist in points to make this easier.

1) Im in the last year of my O level studies and I'll be done once my Cambridge exams approach. O levels is a three year studying course and I'm in the last year and have done all the syllabus in school and pretty much know everything. However my mid exams had approached and I didn't do well in them. EVERYONE didn't do well because a study of fucking three years can't be revised in a month (yeah we had a month for revision) even the teachers said that we should only pass these exams cuz the main one's are the Cambridge ones ANYHOW I did! Look I always used to score bad and frequently fail in sciences but I passed! And only failed in chemistry with a loss of a single number!! Like...ok so hoping that my parents would understand just like other's parents did and encouraged them ,(btw I was in the minority of the students in school who passed so many subjects). My parents discouraged me and told me I was worthless and I didn't had the 'potential' to do it. If they have studied from a lower education system that isn't as tough as mine! And they KNOW mine isn't easy at all!! Still they kept discouraging me and my mom kept mentally harassing me which bring me to the next problem....

2) my mom isn't really a mom. She's more of a thot. Side note she flirts with guys on social media and talks with them on the phone and probably has cheated on dad. Well she kept screaming at me that I couldn't do it and she kept barking at me. She called me different names I don't wanna mention. (I sat day and night preparing for my exams without a break) and still she was like , you are hopeless u can not do it. ANOTHER SIDE NOTE! I KNOW I CAN DO IT AND ITS EASY FOR ME IF I HAVE ATLEAST THREE MONTHS TO REVISE THE THREE YEAR SHIT. anyways pretty much my WHOLE life this bitch has been  annoying me, she usually would open the door when I was studying in my exam time and would just simply annoy me. She gets physical some of the times and SCREAMS like a fucking cunt all the time. She unreasonably spies on me and oh god...she even makes fun of me with my younger brother, backbites and annoys me in general. There are pretty more intense things but they'll make this reddit too long so... moving on to the next and and last....

3) my parents decided to set me up a tutor as i talked to dad That I needed tuition in math and chemistry ONLY. But guess what they did they set up a tutor for fucking all science subjects and math (the tutor is shitty and doesn't know math that good ,...THE SUBJECT THAT I NEED THE MOST HELP IN). ANYHOW I'm a student and I study like 8 hours a day..with my mother mentally harassing me , inclusive. however the tutor has fucked up my routine and BIOLOGY... my strongest subject! I don't even NEED tuition in that, he is emphasising on it! Like wtf! And when I try to talk to my uncooperative parents they tell me to shut up or I'll get beaten up. They never help me with anything and never listened to any of my needs. Im deprived of care, I don't even need them now I just wish they die. Anyways I'm happy that there's someone to teach me sciences now and I could get more better but it was all about time, of I had three months of preparation i could get A stars. BUT ofc my parents don't seem to understand that and they abuse me instead. I can't even study properly on my own on my time now. I had a peaceful routine and ample time to study and I had goals and aims but they seem shattered by the disruption of my routine.... 

I've been abused and harassed mentally my whole life with a dozens of problems, it's just enough, I've tried suicide attempts but I always fail somehow. Ive been a victim of drugs and self harm. This all is just another tiny piece of my depressing fall downs in life...I just can take all this anxiety and depression.... 

Any suggestions? Maybe ?",2.405613876071193,4.463346408783785,3.7156218413535487,87.71153592617006,77.59234234234233,6.7190947044605585,25.243682707097346,7.721883190944723,1.3455748297077563,3473,128,710,53,82,1135,353,888,0.182,0.7090000000000001,0.108,-0.9979,13,0,1,0,2,2,109.0,2,1,18,8,37,55,16,0,45,1,72,8,1,5,10,139,124,69,3,21,22,15,0,5,0,6,3,4,1,2,32,55,0,6,11,0,2,13,20,36,3,9,31,6,110,19,97,81,27,104,0,12,2,4,67,44,7,15,46,486,142,26,0.0,0.12041830486124748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456667054695012,0.0,0.0,0.10367073189995007,0.10657090186942787,0.03887442498121927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041817586802141565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424295911220912,0.030977220179822112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044942997142017896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051889250136240656,0.0,0.05181073062113697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811455585864934,0.0,0.0,0.06554477859848919,0.0,0.13130433361435187,0.0,0.05273942484245561,0.05309234696200078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400568890432134,0.0,0.0,0.05893091825637864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052506949689234785,0.056673745055008565,0.1678188427106919,0.0,0.0,0.04855727046213407,0.04567052489078515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566690819225161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791585917950204,0.10619793589071433,0.0,0.057760289220219876,0.04262240516640406,0.0,0.0,0.055980019715412055,0.05031624873388922,0.0,0.054095027874647816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812235518103117,0.0,0.0,0.05047217469244852,0.050043941079999724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978091531065494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117095098364909,0.1242665028923062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767942847614477,0.14895802647408335,0.0,0.0,0.04497093580709808,0.0426729974003122,0.0,0.0,0.04320230615209389,0.0,0.0,0.10176107209381137,0.05151987760103693,0.05105192772125433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363300858592974,0.0,0.0,0.17854674353513514,0.20280592259611366,0.0540098162368784,0.07471183675165402,0.18839867112086015,0.11757827589449345,0.0,0.10808768604644696,0.04768777117160095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411783269024716,0.06886904757316774,0.1159445401239904,0.0,0.0,0.4514049977238296,0.05502923475979095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048037945643772235,0.05728788232741035,0.0,0.1550957149771295,0.054788699470123436,0.1458733634989809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032554302202032266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048338055709755,0.0,0.0,0.10285786733248124,0.0,0.09252272707066088,0.05301261248937507,0.0,0.052162328597772034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05180094442091174,0.04305659083056397,0.0,0.05025874233611232,0.0,0.035968126191326784,0.05416354624221768,0.08116412309576654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116983920935444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038207626382832885,0.12253294924967767,0.04441579407137276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0337601738518105,0.0,0.0,0.040342564107364684,0.17778879161788624,0.0,0.0,0.04855727046213407,0.0,0.13800406385049388,0.0,0.04964026196489767,0.10580337825874793,0.0,0.04388907423004471,0.055967111330902014,0.041928871415699016,0.0,0.04033571176241766,0.0,0.0,0.137070202933674,0.0,0.0,0.11346944443279368,0.05843637929991102,0.09797043796926888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829558804288904,0.0,0.0,0.1636205536578232
mentalhealth,DiscombobulatedLeave,2018/01/23,"I am starting to get anxious about the passage of time Hello all.

As the title says, the passage of time is starting to cause me anxiety. At points over the last couple of months I have been telling myself things like ""You're here right now, but in two weeks you'll be thinking of this moment and it will be as if no time had passed at all"". Of course, two weeks pass and the reality is that time has passed and the ruthlessness of it (one point to the next with seemingly nothing in between and no control over it) is starting to worry me. I feel one day that I'll flash to 20 years in the future and be thinking of this exact moment, feeling like it was instant too.

Anyone ever felt anything like this?",5.888457446808512,5.622878368794331,5.929140070921985,83.94562500000002,66.73049645390071,8.184751773049646,31.10017730496454,7.1686216300943375,1.7711198581560281,554,19,112,4,8,175,83,141,0.083,0.85,0.067,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,8,0,14,0,0,2,4,20,24,9,0,1,2,0,3,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,1,6,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,4,4,7,3,24,15,2,32,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,2,22,81,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149835432026068,0.16980279715724114,0.0,0.10509732623769716,0.0,0.12368888545658932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440548388257194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685807612767176,0.0,0.166310534305477,0.0,0.0969348213552444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596022208932412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199828060376694,0.10737850999561703,0.14431716119663246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852858888213082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251930680953145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029549865666734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997267393069165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985194796058988,0.0,0.0,0.1442224909549379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370223124271014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841751717723759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836035159915335,0.0,0.11952922329683173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683277618243836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31916170545302724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313739143138728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998565100446514,0.19261980461187464,0.0,0.0,0.3505781365136702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29365389759396043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24113252983294656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264285929167976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679202205273972
mentalhealth,xuddish,2018/01/23,"increasing depression and past trauma i am in my 30's from norway and had slow increasing depression for years. i have a physiatrist and are drug free.  
im not sure where to start, because i dont know where it began.
but i do have clear past trauma but dont know if its just the straw that broke the camel's back or something else.
the problem with my trauma is that its years since it happened and its was something done towards me, and it seems like its normal behaviour in society, not always accepted as good but human flaw. the details may not be important but how i go about living with it and the human world as me.  
is it just up to me to change values and let people get away with this? because intelligent thinking and a loving heart wont fit in this society and maybe it is my choice to let it affect me this way because if i just dont have any reaction to it, they get away with it. many people kill in the moment and that is considered normal, but its been years since for me and i choose to react with love so that moment has passed for me. 
is it justice i feel? because what happened to me is very windescread and maybe thats why its so accepted and it feels like i have to get over it to fit in, but if i just fit in i wont make a difference or a change in the world. and we need a better world.
",3.5462403250774024,4.376432613970593,4.613010835913316,87.48756191950466,72.125,7.932198142414862,24.977554179566564,8.20500826718156,1.2876073529411762,1029,29,223,15,19,337,124,272,0.14300000000000002,0.7170000000000001,0.14,0.7007,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,1,1,11,18,1,0,12,0,27,4,1,4,2,58,45,30,1,7,18,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,2,27,20,0,0,9,0,1,4,8,8,0,0,5,2,23,11,33,34,2,36,0,3,0,2,6,20,0,7,13,160,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855327171424088,0.0,0.0,0.07237195167138327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19997765344489388,0.08183346675319585,0.0,0.2595002667404489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941233564435982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22516490609756354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183325625515057,0.0,0.0,0.11119040151551443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089086748928811,0.3741843143458667,0.0,0.12341802232428126,0.0,0.08890357414996526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762231775184168,0.07602930820377453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680640159294616,0.0,0.0604831968969569,0.08926338003858339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822073726150831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611292145823924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495615423508115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774235907373078,0.0,0.11697566563322866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765144747251172,0.0,0.10398675590957394,0.0,0.09397431871286943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19210358299056,0.0,0.07103882896002793,0.1078972056102448,0.21383437223184198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891202813810726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854579690475708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318745038258354,0.14756196691962145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183337013072108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688438881464592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607002189565465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386074899420186,0.0,0.0,0.07532743647284416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030333590509476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819218525003196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781092407048224,0.0,0.08447439683702886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603108323569813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20560064979337125
mentalhealth,PaniCush,2018/01/23,"I want to share my experience moving to NYC from Israel - four months ago Hello everyone,    
I just thought it would do good for me to share my experience moving to this city among other new yorkers and maybe hearing some new voices of people who are living here and know better than me or even went through the same thing.    

So basically, I'm 28 years old and moved to NYC four months ago with my wife. My wife is doing her Ph.D. at Columbia University, and I just joined her (with a work permit during our stay here), and we are going to be here for at least 3.5 years, but we could choose to stay for five years if we wish to. (At the moment I don't see it happening)    

I have to say that moving here has been the most difficult challenge I've ever been through in my life. First, though my English is not bad at all, I'm SO, SO insecure about it. I'm feeling afraid to open my mouth and say complicated things, and it is depressing me. (I am a person who's talking a lot by nature. I've always been like that) And I feel like someone took away that ability from me and I'm much less charismatic in English than in Hebrew which affects my confidence tremendously... After smoking weed for 4-5 years almost every day in Israel, I quit doing it since the first month I got here only because it made me feel very anxious (it used to make me feel quite the opposite before)    

I used to be a teacher in Israel and pretty quickly I've found a job as a teacher that teaches Hebrew here in New York. (In Israel I used to teach History which I found much more interesting than teaching a language, but that's what I got here, so I have to live with that) A few days ago, I had a conversation with my boss, and apparently, they are pleased by my work there, and they asked me if I am willing to continue for next year which is nice to hear even though I don't like this job that much. I guess I will have to compromise.     

My wife and I are supported by an excellent scholarship, and we don't have to worry a lot about money or health insurance so, on the financial field, we are kinda covered. But being here makes me feel powerless. Obviously, I don't have my good friends here with me, and I feel much less ""special"" as a person. I feel like I am only one among millions who are trying to survive in this big hectic city. In the beginning, I thought it is beautiful that this city is full of people from all around the world, but now it just feels to me that everyone are strangers to each other and it seems like it is the loneliest city in the world at the moment.     

And because I don't have friends here and I am married (so meeting with girls on tinder etc. is not an option) I don't have many reasons to leave the house and it is kinda sad. The only reasons I'm leaving my house is for yoga classes, work, and restaurants with my wife. Other than that I don't have any other reasons to leave the house... The weather is fucking horrible, and it is so cold it is painful to me being outside.     

Anyways, I don't expect from you guys to be my therapist or giving me some life-changing advices... I guess I post this to release some steam. So if you managed to read my post until the end, Thank you :) And I hope things will improve for me. I've always lived in Israel and only left for trips. The longest was 3-4 months, and I have never relocated my life to anywhere else. So maybe it is just a matter of time until I will start to feel more like home here. If you have anything to share from your experience, that would be lovely just to know that I am not the only one who is going through this adjustment period.     

Thanks again for reading and for your patience. Have a great week everyone",5.893048780487808,5.429512722222228,6.395853658536584,81.26743902439027,66.76422764227642,9.313821138211383,30.87262872628726,8.700769036622559,2.212513279132791,2871,95,590,39,41,936,295,738,0.052000000000000005,0.787,0.161,0.9979,4,0,0,0,0,0,88.0,6,6,2,11,38,33,1,2,33,0,68,7,1,12,5,115,119,51,0,11,19,4,9,6,2,6,4,5,1,4,48,40,0,0,21,3,2,9,12,8,0,8,14,16,82,25,95,92,22,79,0,2,1,2,44,28,1,21,44,431,130,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054625840432074746,0.14865867308237854,0.0,0.05597680757024735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302827171245076,0.0,0.0,0.038014617947555035,0.0,0.0,0.06315225333366498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460017853632872,0.04976376921763982,0.052259917817366185,0.0,0.05252085869035749,0.0,0.04667502582311893,0.06815349917755119,0.0,0.047567659999842304,0.0,0.0,0.04943991909174583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059135878491726065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463242447420171,0.0,0.0,0.0721030807214697,0.0,0.048147476011118025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669813826258063,0.0,0.049511721082175664,0.0,0.06234442623601246,0.07384420740316029,0.05056568285347705,0.04709902953426645,0.16024749186472306,0.0,0.16404580439358105,0.0,0.0,0.2543871678001129,0.11980712295725872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509877667179548,0.0,0.12258519009176135,0.08637799562677345,0.05167960230006896,0.0,0.053625362607023455,0.06353968821304322,0.09377426504350896,0.08941832215187645,0.061631083927425515,0.1231625757729803,0.05535080934951524,0.049433097018665884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942018180840886,0.12600904919989442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607329189526173,0.05552233700155666,0.0,0.19350685276587345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094629501732113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061443489300930965,0.0,0.0,0.1775733607894428,0.060736633649082016,0.0,0.11845365396712396,0.16386252019805006,0.0,0.14808490334650207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505011488161083,0.05045286291920025,0.05289490707843211,0.07462874442351082,0.0566748713300777,0.11232019831880508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17847867818507548,0.2376557964279493,0.16437475909874985,0.0,0.043114321227856016,0.16196869198583794,0.05945138055728729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865872837560784,0.0,0.0757599705507787,0.21257626502396584,0.0594826382051036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750947247505599,0.09762124797652952,0.0,0.06136254517582439,0.0,0.0,0.10707547028123364,0.056871445219933925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891525473564772,0.11183231704786507,0.0,0.0,0.17242671024037995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890948696713885,0.0,0.0,0.04454588410524922,0.050890199045543365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04624191043494786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473647620852442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039567037399879504,0.11916612216472412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343582742069036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04493113115289861,0.0,0.10293231744509007,0.0,0.06490540545932852,0.1114144830049385,0.0,0.10984495809017147,0.08875834867528044,0.03259634066842483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062108102207869526,0.03795313054857271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484162718977128,0.0,0.04612420493119119,0.03297187637711583,0.0,0.044840435098652265,0.0,0.0,0.051820815703021335,0.0,0.0,0.06428342674772612,0.0,0.0,0.12208984884396246,0.0567702103908013,0.0,0.0794209769605807,0.0,0.0,0.1799921555971741
mentalhealth,Hamburgers4Breakfast,2018/01/23,"Is this a form of abuse I endured? Does it have a name? I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to ask. 

But I have a question regarding a past relationship that I went through that did take a toll on my mental well being.   One of the 'abusive' (at-least it felt like it) behaviors I endured was unwarranted accusations.

I wish it stopped there but even when I could prove these accusations to be false with evidence.   This evidence would not be accepted and I would be hounded by the accusations.   It was a guilty no matter what scenario  until I just broke down and accepted the blame.

Even worse this former SO would tell others as if it was a fact of my guilt for even the most ridiculous of accusations as often times they were far from reasonable or even plausible accusations. 

Is this a form of abuse?   Does it have a name?   ",3.9170961538461526,5.7556223250000045,4.8450000000000015,82.24769230769233,72.625,8.673076923076923,27.30769230769231,9.265573868473778,2.2855336538461537,652,24,130,15,13,212,95,160,0.301,0.6629999999999999,0.035,-0.9933,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,10,7,1,1,14,0,19,0,0,1,2,28,25,12,0,7,7,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,17,3,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,7,1,11,4,17,10,3,12,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,6,7,101,28,0,0.0,0.5286247208612825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903261863840502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874038670545008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26029080178068464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929112006038091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279400309358667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265681562251011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987423561632013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007761543986108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196955170034384,0.0,0.0,0.15538018147100982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659983027649342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290837318002318,0.0,0.1596690424053421,0.0,0.12700560551055987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647925865833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433612705204106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181852490322444,0.0,0.1299873623580498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867195125908647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371665424991033,0.13786442857311684,0.0,0.0,0.17102003847423744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155783431572745,0.3169381103957831,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Oscarblack2,2018/01/23,"Dealing with regret? Dealing with people's image of me? I grief a lot about regret, I am almost constantly dealing with it. Maybe I am very prone making mistakes. Like I am fussing now over a cut tree that could have been a great for kids swing, or expensive floor that I painted, or buying an used house with lots of issues, and living too far from city. I constantly think about these, I am obsessed with them. How could I deal with something I cannot change better?  

The other thing is how to deal in what other people think of me? I get upset if they are or if they are. Like facebook is making my life even worse, and I have tried quit it many times and now only login once a week. I feel like I am surrounded by assholes. I get upset when people are rude but I understand that they probably think about me much less than I think. I would like to fully grasp that, but I think people think about me, and get offended too easily.

  Any advise?",3.391461675579325,5.030858235294119,4.100877005347595,87.86582531194298,73.59893048128343,6.697896613190732,21.55757575757576,7.3011,0.6457903030303029,738,17,147,8,15,235,107,187,0.141,0.782,0.077,-0.7747,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,4,2,12,16,3,3,6,0,17,1,0,5,0,40,31,14,1,8,7,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,10,0,0,9,0,2,0,1,10,0,0,1,1,27,6,21,27,4,12,0,3,0,0,11,5,0,8,11,105,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056625118021601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175686131256077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332340055251832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162561300448773,0.0,0.0,0.22805813165761785,0.0,0.16849742893415665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439297261105006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969461795821295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533538169878378,0.07538313391409349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653887113546675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633559353468398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175530665692215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013491691946294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453152566565655,0.20620594166170253,0.0,0.09317562949581387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941776820464894,0.0,0.0,0.1408701376643148,0.1069801855578342,0.1060084952646511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756895523852814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237479692835957,0.0,0.0802523155103704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926156708703714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113767840855046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223295014809588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123404695191176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010245038040885,0.4056757127517273,0.0,0.0,0.061529254348104835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164079694049917,0.0,0.0,0.10984949465930756,0.0,0.09113494681511514,0.0,0.08706461764171136,0.0,0.0,0.08464135788521893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753335964947147,0.07495800742928438,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway785537,2018/01/23,"I’m afraid of becoming a killer Throwaway for obvious reasons. I found this sub on my main and I really think I could use some help. 

Ever since I can remember I have had an irrational hatred for a certain kind of animal, like I’m not talking about a mild dislike, a seething unexplainable hatred. 

Recently thoughts have been filling my head of just going out at night, finding one and beating it to death. Call me a monster, I know but I can’t control these thoughts. I also find myself constantly on liveleak finding videos of them being tortured/murdered and laughing my ass off. 

I’m not here to justify anything, I wouldn’t be here if I thought what I was doing/thinking is any kinds of acceptable. I’m just at a loss on what to do. I’ve read that a lot of serial killers start off killing animals and move on to bigger prey so I want to seek help as soon as I can but I don’t know how to start. 

tl;dr I fantasise about killing an animal and I’m afraid I’ll follow through ",3.255437817258884,4.9275617106599015,4.545885152284264,84.40075666243656,74.0253807106599,7.970685279187817,30.58661167512691,8.660442795831766,2.4709088832487307,775,36,154,15,16,256,122,197,0.204,0.7070000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.979,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,11,11,2,2,9,0,15,2,2,4,3,37,33,13,3,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,13,2,0,4,5,5,0,1,7,0,21,6,28,22,3,21,0,1,0,1,5,10,1,3,8,102,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291577819856402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601930212937886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619370562613796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559418057001302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417867496798306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258459084010484,0.15836526683629876,0.1127349025647827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277214356325956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871565171575059,0.0,0.0,0.15481602919496407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024592708194145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490961234078606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892837317924473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31242874865834824,0.2940714272058232,0.15519716576419776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689820814731699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004126558421133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007084742700333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250450992537574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567923991323353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123594577830126,0.0,0.09045488504213632,0.14517478871405876,0.13941572974817532,0.0,0.15994950965572954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680022603984914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988096808995093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134893914529633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094761539986087,0.0,0.33628569053544743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194950883747242,0.0,0.0,0.08328208280284546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bitcoin-Billionaire,2018/01/23,"Whats your score of today? * (+5) 😁 Brushed teeth
* (+5) 👔 Dressed nicely
* (+5) 💧 Drank enough Water
* (+10) 🚿 Showered
* (+10) 🛏 Got out of bed early
* (+10) 🍎 Ate some healthy stuff
* (+15) 🏃‍♀️ Exercised
* (+15) 📚 Read a book
* (+15) 🎓 Studied",-4.408456078083408,-9.769215714285714,-1.0325998225377102,106.260363797693,195.9387755102041,1.6685004436557234,14.375332741792365,4.3202899421422565,-1.338587222715173,166,6,42,1,23,57,42,49,0.0,0.8590000000000001,0.141,0.6808,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,9,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4659840504006713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606907984806793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511031605293041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5162654845483929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4274773686267387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spiralsausage,2018/01/23,"I'm a happy functional adult in a great loving relationship but I cut my wrist deeply and have just spent three weeks in private rehab. Hello,

I'm from the UK. On the 29th December I cut one of my wrists (very deeply) with a simple kitchen knife. The wound required ten stitches.

Because I was drunk, taken a strong LSD tablet and also a benzo (to try and bring down the trip) My terrified girlfriend decided it was best for me to go to rehab and I was willing to do anything that she wanted because I felt so ashamed about what I'd done.

I spent one week in a London rehab and as it got nearer my discharge date I became panicked and not ready to face the outside world so I sought the help of a second consultant who booked me in to a second London rehab for a period of 28 days. I am out now because I a discharged myself against medical advice because the place in my opinion was appalling.

Now having read that, what I want to ask is peoples opinion on why a happy, health man in his late thirties might spiral out of control in such a devastating way and nearly end up dead?

I do have an extremely low self esteem and what I've since learned to be ""imposter syndrome"" I would also say that GAD can be thrown in the mix with those.

Because I discharged myself I now have really nowhere I feel i can go other than NA meetings etc I'm just looking for some friendly advice.

Please note, although I was wasted. It wasn't a bad trip and I have much experience with LSD in the past and abstained for almost 1.5yrs before this Xmas blowout.





",4.009549536707056,5.448871665573773,4.78632929436921,84.36603706343551,71.68852459016394,6.8781183178902365,28.014967925873126,7.255503002510835,1.5297911617961506,1218,45,232,12,23,393,178,305,0.147,0.736,0.118,-0.9104,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,11,12,2,1,23,0,23,13,3,1,0,34,40,17,1,3,4,0,2,0,2,3,7,1,1,3,13,15,2,3,4,3,2,5,2,5,0,6,12,4,30,7,40,23,4,37,0,1,1,1,16,20,0,5,11,162,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512507626442893,0.0,0.0,0.12873225822406906,0.0,0.0,0.20561555855227634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579227307172276,0.0,0.12018436790613997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073405529484054,0.3918387916275925,0.0,0.10939338193822187,0.0,0.13491368057689393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418871886338358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290926911595323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155945958382184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386422234726515,0.0,0.14337614318169156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575438393402394,0.0,0.0,0.0650027831874582,0.0,0.12343583232956208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932358525402568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612493826578846,0.0,0.1028195697188764,0.14173563936846625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27370474474362155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665113321587408,0.0,0.0,0.08616971174950082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501901389155733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795633461880083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602860647791215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950865134920295,0.0,0.13637971302485258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450491575133382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422844415969274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272314943157303,0.0891259242763046,0.0,0.13431573883969294,0.1411180693173178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859278101859525,0.0,0.0823575412065722,0.0,0.0,0.13802317127877153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223447470150757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411402248668672,0.0,0.0,0.1063444989679978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728243739265239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607380658731884,0.15165366830126287,0.10204334969165307,0.2062429324057218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600359132239588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132390858184246,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RomanRiffs,2018/01/23,"I'm starting to hear voices. I feel insane, please help me. Male
17

I'm sorry I had to make the title desperate. I have
Derealization/Depersonalization (look it up I'm not going to explain it) Due to drug use. When I first got it I went through psychosis and every since then the things I did during the intense psychosis trigger the Derealization such as weird things like opening doors, head rushes, going outside, any kind of drug. I forgot to mention I have not touched any substance in 8 months. In the past month every once and a while I hear what sounds like two people talking in my ear and I can't make it out but I will hear the last word in the sentence or I will hear one random word. Tonight I was working out in my living room I kept hearing voices every 10 minutes and it made me extremely paranoid. I ignored it till I started to see figures pop up in the corner of my eye and when this happened it started to trigger the derealization. That was until I was looking at my dog on the carpet for about 2 seconds until it literally disappeared in front of my eyes. As soon as that happened I started to freak out and breakdown. I looked around the room and the walls where sinking and expanding. I feel insane. This is the first time this has happened to me and and I'm scared. I'm sorry for any typos it's late as I'm writing this.",2.0726918976545825,4.473813444029852,3.509275053304904,86.95059701492538,80.6044776119403,5.171855010660981,25.24307036247335,6.367922702773337,0.8942607675906187,1065,42,206,9,28,349,142,268,0.107,0.856,0.038,-0.9569,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,0,1,14,0,12,6,4,6,0,36,47,23,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,2,2,9,4,1,18,15,0,3,4,0,0,6,3,4,0,5,10,18,28,3,38,35,0,49,0,0,6,0,11,21,0,2,24,136,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949458163218087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705074395512429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22680266006228836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716810794160654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888761579751992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663543455138353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114867737272223,0.0,0.07820882128619626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594169175164898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035719154833518,0.0,0.5510626330350601,0.0,0.06554425003844883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182962355727956,0.0,0.07970907362526541,0.11030746551026477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554711867595388,0.0,0.08634729782664337,0.0,0.2463481719676329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252797939153104,0.13054653665986046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610455116642089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413946340998503,0.06626268369685577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334830799054562,0.06779286766858432,0.0,0.0,0.1073402455745248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979013758731753,0.0,0.07792320421995164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089002839924654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189280296394408,0.2768552379299129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859710900312282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993005132627738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570201122224325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552323120816984,0.0,0.0,0.08445616560512309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064909331084917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711897587228868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fefe887,2018/01/23,"Scared to go on antidepressants I've been dealing with depression since middle school, however I havn't had family support to go to a psychiatrist and get treated for it. Now i'm in college and I could go to the health center and get antidepressants with out my parents  really having a say in it. The problem is i'm terrified. I feel a lot of shame for being depressed and im scared that the second i talk to a therapist or whatever i'm just going to cry. I did see a therapist once for OCD and she made fun of my complusions, so ever since then i'm scared of seeing a therapist again. I wish i could just walk in, get meds, and walk out but i know they make you talk to a psychologist before being referred to a psychiatrist. Being on anti depressants would greatly improve my life because i end up missing a lot of school due to depression. Has anyone had experience with a school psychiatrist? Any way i can get over my fear of seeing a psychologist? ",4.390817417876242,5.880826160427812,6.088804430863253,75.19942513368986,70.81818181818181,9.620932009167305,29.39992360580596,9.957137785484203,3.0429666921313983,760,30,141,20,14,261,102,187,0.207,0.7490000000000001,0.044,-0.9798,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,6,15,0,5,14,0,14,2,0,2,1,28,36,10,0,5,4,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,11,0,0,3,0,0,6,0,11,0,1,5,5,17,4,29,25,2,24,0,5,3,0,8,11,0,3,6,95,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070697470894158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270215834162035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338256179926857,0.0,0.08847557897892018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660321149537738,0.0,0.11421231627472885,0.0,0.10719427991704666,0.3582161339423852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209152161369344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940518845564543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017080899279951,0.09801894379880392,0.11700145897892485,0.05257318839451781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729184205277569,0.0,0.23636692251869046,0.0,0.0,0.11463346806623385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052120261011583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123114922621474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057142271560162675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344104248520038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679267691938755,0.0,0.09838422846143742,0.06940452159473337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549345399398285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107306225355359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545260113174245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949060872440556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660943296959916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826855718376986,0.3122931483191062,0.31568658008515643,0.2485652786380201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201938454979476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799028077208434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714330042485506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621710628751568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253099305418704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195668107338668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386128432302695,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LouisBIoom,2018/01/23,"Is something wrong with me? So this has been bugging me for a while. I’m a young male teen. I’m not a sociopath or anything, but to my knowledge it’s suppose to be normal when others are sad it makes you sad or it should effect how you feel. But no matter the case, I find that other people’s moods or emotions can almost never effect how I feel. If that makes any sense.

For example, my girlfriend had a puppy she got for her birthday, she had it for 2 years before she had to watch it he put down. She cried for months. I found that it never put me down or made me feel any real sadness. In fact I felt that every time I comforted her or reassured her, I was being fake. But it’s not just with my girlfriend it’s with everyone. But I know I’m not a sociopath. I do feel emotions and I do care about people 

Is this a problem? Or is it normal? If you have any question please do ask.",1.2980213903743305,3.0164918502673856,3.0240641711229976,92.97374331550806,79.69518716577541,5.255614973262032,21.16042780748663,5.900188976854957,0.05542994652406419,684,19,151,4,17,227,100,187,0.149,0.7709999999999999,0.08,-0.9396,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,2,6,10,0,0,7,0,18,0,0,7,3,47,34,18,0,6,16,0,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,17,4,0,0,12,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,9,6,26,3,15,22,0,13,0,3,1,0,17,3,0,10,8,108,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594679362098886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973434092258669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993919206963155,0.0,0.13625584900977727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402185402084864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860104674711286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600986778485199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32789651762187394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280000667347934,0.13926962873038598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29478074613239635,0.0,0.13994211081950328,0.0,0.13321214955129207,0.0,0.0,0.15980650036946115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656896825223273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009996140904238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791143907750367,0.1945774765183439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633563944377776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248215722003925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28560658652655485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20208831968119195,0.0,0.0,0.1599888794228905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946232275692075,0.0,0.2930364510789988,0.16327248628069732,0.0,0.0,0.16589452458764548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220487269588088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498754414252536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935389549233112,0.0,0.09385772117629752
mentalhealth,SignalAd834,2018/01/23,"Feel like I want to walk out of my life and never return I hate my past, hate my self, hate the people that are my family, hate my coworkers, etc, etc. I feel just *done* with everything and everybody. I feel like I want to peel my own face and identity off and happily accept any replacement even if it's technically worse than what I have. Sometimes I feel this strongly enough that it seems easier if I just laid down to die.

Took too long to finish my degree, the start of me slowing down. The program I was in was abnormally cramped and stressful even for an engineering degree. Started to get panic attacks and arrhythmia towards the end of it. Begain having trouble focusing without assistance (eg caffeine, sugar, a night of drinking, etc). Squeezed by as a mediocre student, drank away a whole year, finally getting my career off the ground, first real voyeur in my field came apart due to someone else outside my control. Waking up one day to realize my entire early 20's I'd wasted since I never matured as a person, probably from intentionally living under a rock and avoiding leaving my comfort zone. Now I'm 25, naive as shit and floundering, all my peers and family look down on me, the baggage with my current social group isn't great due to the drinking phase, and the thought of how many things were more easily solved or prevented five years ago just piles on despair. Not in my field since I found that while I could do the class work, the actual work drove me nuts. Yet finding I'm struggling even in a 'warm-bodies' inbetween job in the meantime due to anxiety and depression related symptoms I can't seem to shake, which only seems to make that worse.

I feel like I want a fresh start, but I'm tens of thousands of dollars in debt to something I only now realize I don't want, and financially trapped with a bunch of people I dislike in an environment that makes me want to stay at work rather than go home at the end of the day, and everything I read about the future and or plan I make about finances and the future just makes me want to go live in the woods.

Every day I wake up, look in the mirror, and think ""*God damn it. This shit again?*"" and wish myself and life could just be a figment of my own imagination or just some fiction I'd dreamed.",7.805700973286395,6.758221933940778,7.755370677158832,75.00163750258855,63.14578587699317,10.897535721681507,35.672085317871186,10.018931242160765,3.3853179954441917,1795,69,339,32,22,579,239,439,0.119,0.7879999999999999,0.093,-0.9613,3,2,3,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,0,8,18,23,8,5,28,0,14,13,5,7,3,77,56,29,1,12,15,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,1,2,14,23,4,3,16,5,3,7,7,16,0,5,10,9,43,7,62,43,11,67,0,2,2,0,4,26,3,9,36,221,57,10,0.0,0.0,0.07328770347204078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657246966718419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107122809082547,0.0,0.05745202880495402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543818387503375,0.07055982404983703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342023621013511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858954910641241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423211255340304,0.11992401100614515,0.0,0.0,0.14530171867007613,0.0,0.06468434676244082,0.0,0.07794293952050206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685435652999266,0.0,0.14714069904302174,0.0,0.0,0.06273721529742612,0.0,0.13303431874788876,0.07759936738520408,0.2512722671749871,0.1488104272681075,0.0,0.06327579783965064,0.0,0.1349918005388057,0.0,0.14159700246197826,0.0,0.18986650942221805,0.16095642239248822,0.0,0.08226943072441717,0.06864091682996028,0.06388083817209733,0.0,0.08234432623222246,0.0,0.0,0.07847430379700265,0.0,0.08536321248907815,0.0,0.0,0.08279907347970063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965865990218847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533238619252076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452611448678323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952107286942019,0.0,0.0,0.10609205803046066,0.11007160661350736,0.0,0.13263104710668225,0.06646198627049382,0.12613178340365874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052189575300866,0.07614058583226517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584498028872453,0.0,0.0,0.07047716343890582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050890354093403284,0.1142353284487814,0.0,0.08811479510102861,0.0,0.0,0.07169236412747874,0.10413109907968283,0.06557526145335142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097153698515686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512128334100968,0.08548133412096814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510728004380324,0.0783466801434838,0.0,0.1541801123273455,0.12424858029281527,0.0,0.0,0.07655597098688459,0.06363279965776343,0.05781638807403764,0.07427676972174017,0.0,0.1594705379953004,0.08004763081099471,0.0,0.0,0.0860278958884149,0.07851182951121598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805865303688345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04989374071851902,0.04812166269509753,0.0,0.0596217733453745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343992983231897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657789518802441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384753977948779,0.08636239760247663,0.07239464541229414,0.0,0.16402317988534304,0.0,0.15306858849662633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672511185822767
mentalhealth,Gavmaster87,2018/01/23,I have social anxiety I’ve had social anxiety for the past couple of years and I’m very introverted. Is there anything I can do to change that?,0.8725862068965498,3.4348423793103438,3.5133620689655167,82.78659482758623,90.72413793103449,7.037931034482759,21.043103448275854,8.07648339933343,1.6472000000000002,115,4,22,3,4,40,24,29,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506864963030132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424038643505255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31161324185468936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259332158183059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811979060825359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6005487195637382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430489474945317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896917422877097
mentalhealth,is_trash,2018/01/23,When is enough enough ? At what point  in the human psyche do we decide to take action and make change? For some reason I just feel paralysed. ,2.43333333333333,5.084441222222225,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,81.22222222222223,3.6,12.703703703703706,3.1291,-1.4331629629629627,111,1,21,0,3,33,26,27,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,8,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,16,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605839831006352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7043976268686296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723487228896421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22752625482509686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222222497344477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35046016934324314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25628380158854125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AfterBorn,2018/01/23,Collapsing when I’m sad? I don’t know how else to ask this but basically is it normal to physically collapse into the ground and burst in to tears when you’re near suicidal/in a depressive episode? Like for example I was getting a drink of water earlier and after I walked away from the sink with my cup I just dropped to the ground and cried for a good half hour. Is it normal?,4.681818181818183,5.2628161428571465,5.740675324675326,81.33387012987014,69.38961038961038,9.796363636363637,29.685714285714287,9.888512548439397,2.6363735064935065,301,11,63,7,5,100,57,77,0.213,0.701,0.086,-0.8604,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,11,8,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,5,2,14,7,0,12,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,5,41,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734321462593532,0.0,0.2747974301313667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212788692415276,0.0,0.0,0.2519152010284241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28652201524904897,0.0,0.0,0.2443320369556787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528103088772816,0.0,0.0,0.2453208847777744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880368636068715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074102156006684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289243222629813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5731425293468303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachyhans,2018/01/23,"Intense anxiety episodes or something else? So, I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, and I'm currently going through treatment with a team of awesome doctors. However, sometimes I get this super strong wave of energy accompanied by paranoia. I start shaking and can't sit still (my legs bouncing will shake the whole room), I start slipping away from the moment and random thoughts will bombard me. It's weird thoughts, like demons are coming to get me or the walls are going to shift into monsters to grab me. My imagination goes NUTS and freaks me out to the point I break out in a sweat and seek out the nearest cold tiled floor to lay on. I don't always remember the whole thing... I've had episodes like that a few times, and the most recent was witnessed by my friends sister. She said I was rambling about visions and shivering like I was freezing to death, but all I remember is sitting on a bathroom floor and stimming by tracing shapes on her hands. It's really scary for me and everyone who happens to be around. Does anyone experience something similar?",8.125859090909088,8.119848195000003,7.371909090909092,74.59345454545455,62.05,10.472727272727274,39.68181818181819,10.018931242160765,4.049049999999999,869,43,150,16,11,269,132,200,0.113,0.7929999999999999,0.095,-0.3825,2,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,4,11,0,2,11,0,14,5,3,0,1,29,26,14,1,0,3,1,3,3,1,2,2,1,1,0,6,18,0,0,5,1,0,5,2,5,0,0,8,5,19,6,28,15,5,32,1,1,0,0,7,17,0,4,10,98,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844534469362887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23617999309584525,0.0,0.0,0.10793668856365687,0.0,0.0,0.13741896678831794,0.0,0.0,0.14503246537655407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297312364259814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329556926843043,0.15667880989542965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800071612468014,0.13508721767778462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895345372486638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750386414770605,0.0,0.15100011715439998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926322200760354,0.0,0.16130031362251193,0.0,0.17546014784573788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650583997652266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262471128590075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592629570682938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804462489558204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889117167688703,0.0,0.15241835594133965,0.0,0.3497344430127879,0.0,0.1468379489768912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23767784045557425,0.15267247584605398,0.0,0.2185228926123555,0.0,0.12327733491652565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255428383940378,0.0,0.0,0.24509961284184226,0.09001238302799552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446895049338177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,warflemin,2018/01/23,"Help me with my psychotic brother. PLEASE!!! My brother (20) is out of control.  He consistently has panic attacks where he is stressed beyond controllable.  He goes into a crazed mode, yelling (mostly shrieking), dry crying, complaining about how he ""can't take it"", then returning to yelling with some throwing things in between, slamming doors and other generally destructive behaviours. 

Right now I think he's finally lost it with this one.  Usually he stops after a few minutes (10-30), whether by himself or my mother taking him for a drive, but he's been going for about two hours now and it doesn't look like it's stopping any time soon.

I know eventually it will end, but I know eventually there will be the next one.  Me, and my mother can't handle it and I'm sure ,my little sister (13) is scared of it.  He needs to go see someone and no matter by how many people and how many times he is told that he always says that he's fine, that he doesn't need to.

What can I possibly do to get him to realize that he does need help?  I'm from Canada (or Quebec), is there any way we can force him into a psych ward?

Edit: After 4 hours he finally calmed down.  Tomorrow I try to convince him to check into the hospital.",4.380588235294121,5.596305654008441,5.331447009183421,81.66951600893523,70.51898734177216,8.445668900471581,28.28716803176967,8.841846274778883,2.1658803176966988,948,34,184,17,17,311,143,237,0.117,0.802,0.081,-0.6989,0,0,0,0,2,0,42.0,1,0,0,3,12,12,2,3,6,0,17,0,0,5,1,38,34,15,0,3,5,5,0,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,15,14,0,4,4,0,1,4,5,7,0,3,3,5,18,5,29,28,3,34,0,1,2,0,30,10,0,4,20,113,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590249888349512,0.0,0.0,0.17310191668146954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447930071335898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28549813024258663,0.0,0.0,0.13980495514882785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137868759213704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272734385160588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788457743245119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649562241457704,0.0,0.14466595232121973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706186987578026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25067929859709964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989336654996667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062179844337930563,0.12756238780786974,0.0,0.0,0.10687844348874947,0.0,0.13893504540876728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580725358978149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831170710018937,0.0,0.0,0.13535777129239535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724888584723359,0.0,0.0,0.1493290889036117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882360455714164,0.0,0.0,0.13970907450710854,0.0,0.143482765845632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869164459011288,0.0,0.10121371354047587,0.12742388041880945,0.0,0.10142122077258957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783918848571376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21281419945087252,0.14579239841144226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995461842424368,0.0,0.1913890228468921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455545785412039,0.08155229820992853,0.0,0.0,0.14842945559234216,0.0,0.0,0.12161614611625927,0.0,0.08641096500145826,0.0,0.1243285978580736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017477351062754,0.0,0.0,0.1010244968202422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmbientBananas,2018/01/23,"Why cant I feel empathy? Almost all the time when someone tells me sad news, I console them because I know its the right thing to do...not because I feel bad myself. Its sort of irritating because I want to feel upset, but I truly am not. I have watched 2 family members die and I just batted my eyes at everyone else crying.",4.875,4.945456348484849,6.399545454545457,78.56931818181819,68.84848484848484,9.024242424242424,31.65151515151515,8.841846274778883,2.544406060606061,253,10,50,4,4,87,51,66,0.254,0.674,0.07200000000000001,-0.9144,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,13,8,3,1,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,12,0,4,8,1,4,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,2,2,30,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24588220496251484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050234510367253,0.44905381481403706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26972443137878016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254841458541949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20512497411071934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346329271574585,0.0,0.0,0.2314820742877344,0.0,0.3724713885857438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349475013463762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969780363996246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805316781293004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462095533388564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313207758191714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318180091287716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483136886973547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157009603819855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaymental99,2018/01/23,"I need mental help but am afraid of a therapist would do with the information I give him/her about me. I am going to save everyone the trouble and admit that I am a scumbag. I am more or less addicted to sex with paid escorts, while being married and I need professional help. I have had suicide thoughts for many years because of the guilt and I honestly don't know how long I can keep on doing or going.

Anyways, I am afraid of what any therapist would do with that information. I am not going to tell my wife for a load of reasons and I am not going to divorce her. However, I want to make sure my information is safe with the therapist. What would be the best way to navigate this? ",3.832173913043477,4.978087579710149,5.439826086956521,80.64104347826088,71.7536231884058,8.998260869565216,29.74202898550725,9.3871,2.5998237681159417,538,22,109,12,10,183,79,138,0.118,0.6890000000000001,0.193,0.8658,1,0,0,0,1,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,3,8,0,20,2,0,3,1,32,34,9,1,6,5,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,7,0,1,4,3,4,0,0,3,0,17,5,18,26,3,9,0,0,0,1,11,1,0,2,3,83,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006833417082265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060886604159814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509912003302302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371748506555328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490693375760797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496540854665166,0.3546446482808556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913355022452867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386642953763657,0.0,0.0,0.08573619601033887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805939969727626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413446131879532,0.15816445102647042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721621500934055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313512669630073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039898769619665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064400584770256,0.0,0.14703274259817026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635513152038312,0.0,0.0,0.5434010302380919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385043991084907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201571356248588,0.12382940342110466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324641483823634,0.0,0.0,0.10046202068389966
mentalhealth,kelch1000,2018/01/23,"Write these people, please. I'm not sure if I should post this here or not, but it has to do with being lonely and having no one to talk to, so I assumed it fits. I accidentally stumbled on this website recently that made me cry so hard. It's prisoners who have on one writing to them, and they have their own profiles and everything basically begging people to write to them. I want to write to all of them, but they're looking for pen-pals and such. It made me so sad thinking of these people stuck in the grind of prison for who knows how long, and the only friends they have are probably just there so they can stay safe. 





[Here's the link for anyone interested.](http://www.writeaprisoner.com/inmate-profiles/)",8.09952380952381,7.491078296296301,7.140317460317463,78.22000000000003,62.33333333333334,9.788359788359788,31.87830687830688,8.841846274778883,2.321719576719577,570,17,110,7,7,174,86,135,0.221,0.708,0.071,-0.9757,0,2,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,7,0,10,5,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,3,2,29,18,14,0,3,7,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,2,13,3,18,13,2,8,0,2,1,0,15,4,0,3,2,81,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361810473558784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256185617456115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845972538437604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868893271901735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399504329891408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288062045138372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176956084096416,0.17248144513813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38870252960332696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783641547199984,0.15621339843913762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271885000374419,0.0,0.0,0.2254638286572104,0.0,0.0,0.19671320196794584,0.0,0.22145231498962975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20280440041756084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21892548681371252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935839001901672,0.0,0.0,0.16509003703488712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160987183598802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114825851333168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stinky_Asbergers,2018/01/23,"How to help someone who has isolated themselves? Hi all. 

I'm hoping I can get some advice from someone who has maybe experienced a similar situation as either myself or my bro (24) in this situation.

My brother graduated highschool as a great athlete with a good group of friends. Slowly over the past 2 years he's isolated himself from all of his friends, he has just recently quit his job, and now has anxiety just from leaving the house. If I talk to him too much to see how he's doing he gets defensive and doesn't want to communicate. I think he feels ashamed for where he's at right now in his life and maybe doesn't want me to pity him or something. 

I live a couple hours away from him and try to text him casually about sports or other inconsiquential things that we would normally text about years ago. If I ever bring up how he's doing or how a job hunt may be going he doesn't respond. I really want to help him with where he's at but don't want to get shut out of his life by pushing him. He doesn't have any other outlets outside of myself and our parents. I have tried to invite him out to play community sports or hang out with me and my friend group but he declines or doesn't respond back. Idk what to do to help him without pushing him away. 

I guess my question is: What would you want from your brother if you were experiencing what my brother is experiencing? I don't want to piss him off by pestering him about his feelings (as he is very proud and doesn't want to bring it up most times) but I also don't want to have him feel like he's alone. Any advice is appreciated on where to go from here. 

Thank you.",4.761478772231783,5.156410033132534,5.6455938037865785,82.74495983935745,69.15060240963855,8.733448078026392,29.062535857716583,8.704169506293173,1.9541957544463568,1289,44,274,20,21,424,159,332,0.062,0.7909999999999999,0.147,0.9871,3,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,2,4,0,2,21,15,2,1,7,0,29,3,1,4,3,59,53,27,0,15,16,5,3,1,3,3,2,0,0,0,11,14,0,1,5,4,0,7,10,4,0,0,1,7,43,11,53,48,6,37,0,1,1,0,57,19,1,15,12,184,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661589876980792,0.08917836438710018,0.0,0.0,0.1041942215872683,0.0,0.08045206991679306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368267877442252,0.0,0.07696091169758572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18903939516330676,0.07735738865144537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131514987765602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100104549886052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152603484715013,0.07187070250070059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331765576935705,0.0,0.15768252463862148,0.0,0.11434984621513833,0.08438090497634572,0.0,0.11091500709829892,0.11082539114670677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229592711345906,0.0,0.0,0.09992133855529044,0.09907355111535963,0.11608219197404868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966562836809384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652390167069267,0.0,0.0,0.14211754884439118,0.049149475212632056,0.0,0.08883416753992446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20213818741988515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739546768059763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856944171411793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170756926454904,0.0,0.09603681227233324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269822601565227,0.10700352389252027,0.0,0.0,0.06444876749578986,0.0,0.09933318634599436,0.0,0.0,0.08591429181727925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016745344852008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261636569998912,0.0,0.0,0.17048095175740816,0.0774489957934379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086076721653604,0.0,0.09262159605622428,0.0,0.0,0.0668360692141314,0.06446224981874021,0.0,0.0,0.05866233605228004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366054748981746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300789457752716,0.4747053816828501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697756595974498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429307690533201,0.0,0.0,0.12956988547666864
mentalhealth,zensama,2018/01/24,"Severely depressed but won't seek help I know logically that i am depressed, staying inside for weeks at a time ignoring calls from people closest to you is not healthy behaviour.

And yet, i do not seek help, any doctors appointments are cancelled and medications would surely go untaken.

I have even convinced myself that doctors are incompetent and my family and friends are against me, part of the illness, who knows.

The point is that i am an adult now and no one is coming to my rescue to get me out of this, yet i don't even try or am willing to get myself out of this whole. 

Is this a common scenario? Where does one go from here?",6.693519163763071,6.656218723577236,6.900255516840883,76.88780487804878,65.01626016260164,9.955400696864114,35.457607433217184,9.606745405546679,3.2730241579558665,505,22,95,9,7,163,79,123,0.231,0.6609999999999999,0.108,-0.9448,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,16,4,0,0,1,18,23,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,3,0,0,3,5,3,0,2,0,0,13,3,14,20,2,16,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,1,6,76,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276283956123048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18433568200064773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550585822678384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31097094707017736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695489176813439,0.15797819247229208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384694382162913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701824172377175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947276851998808,0.0,0.18863318402247933,0.0,0.20519244887926386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420035126507903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842307055508646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185942548052675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446561247233833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549042417815,0.0,0.12515294704603094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065398804000426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039412826567556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19241508038597707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014218974064604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526527835375547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256427469056105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480585198741053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015491394733519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823941392570318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sour-potato,2018/01/24,"What Do I Do About This Situation? I'm Pretty Sure I Have ADHD But I Have No Therapist To Confirm It...  So I'm not going to go into the why, but I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. I want to get a therapist to confirm it and maybe help me from there, but I don't even know how to approach that situation. What do I do, just go into the university's free counseling service and say ""I think I have ADHD?"" Like they'll think I'm jumping the gun or self diagnosing which, in a way I am, but I've taken so many tests and asked so many people and they all agree. Plus, I've studied psychology for two years so I mean I know the signs I was just in denial for years and too poor to get a therapist.

What do I do? Do I just go up to them and say it? Or do I let them figure it out for themselves?

EDIT: I don't mean to glorify self diagnosis, and I know it's frowned upon but I *really need help here* because it's getting to the point where it's greatly interfering with my school work and I can't get kicked out of college I put everything I have in here.",0.452703243892671,2.2090627224669603,3.3530336403684444,89.40081197436926,82.568281938326,6.594233079695638,21.331397677212657,7.686295010490155,0.7638123348017625,806,25,188,14,22,287,109,227,0.059,0.7979999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9559,0,0,0,1,0,0,25.0,0,0,4,1,15,5,0,0,8,0,20,1,0,1,3,40,43,21,0,2,11,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,2,13,14,0,0,8,0,2,7,5,0,0,1,2,2,28,6,26,39,1,21,0,0,0,0,11,11,0,2,3,127,41,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895849753169914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101726392232607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586960237584716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967401217950327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136960886973681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711327541300137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258180614545133,0.0,0.2456416206466505,0.0,0.0,0.11913152050244732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485458742368415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815335636515864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049402362180503,0.0,0.052790437174916806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910254259955392,0.1085562280927308,0.23540813586807266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012175064664129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491204698078502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021473314951919,0.0,0.0,0.2198624885520616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862557729681346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922309133044183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186006953829389,0.0,0.1093578891696583,0.0,0.0,0.22545081097073816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429177173194647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036819749290774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763821345558144,0.0,0.13847514483065673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555447837086962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373390692349316,0.08576939053646518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750324110123686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866565810537296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916834044362816
mentalhealth,StrawberryYouth,2018/01/24,"Random lady on the street Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post something like this so I apologize in advance. 

There is a mentally ill woman who walks around a local business I work near and would like advice on how to approach the situation?

She talks to herself and will occasionally say something that doesn't make sense to you when she walks by. She dresses up as someone different each day, like sometimes she dresses in Arabic clothing and other times Indian, once walked around as a bride and today she had cornrows. 

A local resident called the police on her once because she threw herself onto the resident's car.

Is there anything I can do to help her? I'm worried about approaching her as she is paranoid and says her mother is trying to kill her. Her mom lives close by and she is an older woman. 

Are there any resources available to help her? Should I just ignore her and let her live her life? She sleeps on the street behind the business.

Would appreciate any advice, thank you
",4.489374999999999,6.600459187500004,4.823333333333334,81.855,71.70833333333334,7.091666666666668,27.625,7.8658589789855275,1.8310875000000009,812,30,143,11,16,256,115,192,0.08,0.818,0.102,0.556,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,2,10,7,1,0,12,0,16,3,1,2,1,22,21,14,1,4,3,2,0,3,0,4,2,2,0,2,5,11,0,1,0,0,0,8,2,2,0,0,2,2,27,5,25,14,1,32,0,0,0,0,36,18,0,2,8,102,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27690590282342564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927013299931672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659469041350436,0.2522593947134221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636986667418962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467623595903034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913751097722497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803067873452286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538609828550371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993695045464346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567534705507501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488252159253026,0.10007631228205502,0.20766041645979075,0.0,0.2502209182280795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457584399487323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278516483288464,0.0,0.0,0.16593977063060567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017798218832681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803067873452286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569507367733946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099822389720268,0.0,0.2253472126329728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925988696550722,0.14178733264666996,0.0,0.12004924870254452,0.2181520847208603,0.1401300971999418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353644461204928,0.0,0.0,0.11388104364492052,0.0,0.1304445206993292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261766839774096,0.0,0.13430082214380085,0.0,0.0,0.09619482095287832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314837432341588,0.1438880046274795,0.0,0.20129793111132555,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bull-p,2018/01/24,"1 year This is a long one btw.

First time posting here but it seams appropriate considering the occasion.
 It's 1 week till Its been 1 full year since I decided to get help. 
It's been one hell of a year of working on myself.
Bit of a backstory I suffered with depression and anxiety for many years without opening up and telling anyone; tbh I refused to admit it to myself for the majority. It effected my realtionship and education which dove me deeper into the darkness of my mind.
I went to seek medical attention after I realised how frequently the downs were arriving and knew I couldn't cope anymore. And for the next six months I attended therapy and was prescribed some seratonin boosters. 
If anyone out there is reading this the best and hardest thing I ever did was walk into that doctors office. It will get better, it's a long road that will have its speed bumps but it's very doable. 
Just thought I'd share my story, it's a journey that needs to be taken one day at a time but here's to another better and brighter year ahead. 🍻",4.640706075533661,6.111643448275862,5.731349753694585,78.0760065681445,70.18226600985221,9.157175697865354,31.75993431855501,9.558583805096642,3.082157569786536,832,37,154,19,15,276,128,203,0.109,0.772,0.12,0.3291,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,7,6,7,1,0,12,0,13,2,0,2,1,32,21,14,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,18,13,0,1,6,1,0,4,2,3,0,5,10,0,14,4,25,7,5,35,1,2,0,0,5,10,1,2,20,108,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496526807602907,0.1091791813600706,0.0,0.14153829803315404,0.19958403997945173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977415028374494,0.2524456445698715,0.1558115233464497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204155782712337,0.0,0.1229231442863382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607832454120726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909695884992753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139619368190765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912894156349515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956611316383216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526025765673594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446940517568996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437737679920853,0.0,0.0,0.1441048942746059,0.0,0.11391646109088277,0.0,0.0,0.10582388134223432,0.0,0.0,0.15178263194062142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901290336275881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668477117957614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275701639246766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805813096326068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474216759508865,0.0,0.163210922448608,0.0,0.09481575985998614,0.0,0.0,0.1133024636463728,0.16644048740026055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775762236301265,0.0,0.0,0.11448008764199855,0.0,0.0,0.1323013817843183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757543963852698,0.0,0.10390069115895853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595298351209812
mentalhealth,kikiinlalapaluza,2018/01/24,Struggling and I'm getting scared. I have been struggling with impulsive thoughts and actions of controlling my food intake and struggling with the impulsive thoughts of my self mutilation techniques. It is like a drug high feeling my stomach empty or a junkie in joining mode while I fantasize the razor blade against my skin. My husband is a huge part of my support group but I cannot come talk to him about these actions/ thoughts out of shame and fear of harsh judgment. Not only by him but any of my close friends. I did open up to a friend but it left me feeling a flood of fear that I am a burden. I'm scared the fantasies may become reality the next time I go into emotional overdrive. I just need some advice on how to not restrict my food intake and how to overcome the craving of self mutilation. How have you learned control? ,5.018666666666668,6.675524200000003,5.023750000000003,82.79291666666668,69.5,7.583333333333335,34.583333333333336,8.07648339933343,2.685083333333333,672,34,123,9,12,209,98,160,0.187,0.6940000000000001,0.12,-0.9322,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,5,13,0,8,11,0,9,5,2,5,0,34,21,13,0,1,7,1,3,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,4,12,2,3,6,1,0,4,3,9,0,0,5,3,19,4,22,15,2,17,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,3,4,83,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825220997145434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925187648246627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495105121725602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305692911929012,0.0,0.0,0.29440741437052104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220385563475955,0.0,0.0,0.14763424334514771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953767943839005,0.13272398476082875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31740670925906594,0.0,0.2028008858886779,0.0,0.06857069167283078,0.0,0.07459020648252618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866875384940056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259931618640198,0.0,0.0,0.06412023497995209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731735051644537,0.0,0.0,0.13958175987804114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981860438633333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212678082890626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26280056637347643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738366975057594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116208894067877,0.0,0.0,0.14893656543715567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549067659731458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31258432678513776,0.07653068025390374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WestonParish,2018/01/24,"Adverse Childhood Experiences - psychological and physiological issues Hi all.. new here. Been on a self-discovery binge recently after a close falling out with my S.O. I feel extremely compelled to share this with you all. Long post warning.


I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 a few weeks ago, but have (to my knowledge) been suffering from it since I was around 17. Also have dealt with GAD and ADHD.


This, combined with the nice guy symptoms/lifestyle/point of view of the world led to me having the realization that I've always hated myself, especially my body, and have spent my life trying to please other people while not taking care of myself. This led to more research where I ended up discovering that childhood trauma/abuse can lead to a TON of issues later in life, especially those in conjunction with relationships with the self, and other people. The brain is plastic, and during those crucial developmental years in early childhood, the brain forms neural connections that remain the same in to adulthood. 


For a quick example, there has been extensive research that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have led to individuals developing PTSD, anxiety, depression, among a host of other ""mental illnesses"", as well as never fully understanding what healthy adult relationships are supposed to be like, because they never properly learned/reinforced at the right development stage. We tend to repeat characteristics of what we experienced before the age of 9 in our perception of self and our relationships with others, especially women/lovers.


My question to you all, is, if you are comfortable sharing, **did you experience any form of childhood trauma?**


Personally, I have repressed a ton of my memory of my childhood, but with the help of my mom, am slowly filling in the details so that I can better understand the environment in which I was developing in. There are bits and pieces that have stuck with me, like my dad flipping the kitchen table across the apartment and storming out after a long argument, disappearing for random amounts of time, and generally being an asshole to my mom. As I understand now, he actually brought crack cocaine in to the apartment, which my mom flushed and preceded to kick him out. They divorced in 1997 when I was 8 years old. Shortly after, my mom and I moved in to her parent's house, and I began to ""deal"" with life as it came to me, in the best way I knew how. Which has not been productive to my mental and physical health.


I ask because I am trying to confirm with my peers (you all) that emotional, physical, mental childhood trauma, abuse, and emotional neglect adversely affects the way we form and manage relationships with ourselves and others. I have a lot to work on going forward, but at least this is a good starting point. We cannot begin to truly heal ourselves until we understand what the root cause of our issues is.


In my case, it is a shitty childhood with a verbally/semi-physically abusive and absent/runaway father figure with substance abuse and mental health issues which led to my self-shame and self-loating/hatred, leading to a damaging perception of how I view myself in the eyes of others, which ended up morphing in to being bullied, little to no friends, isolation, generalized and social anxiety, depression, dropping out of college after being an excellent student almost to the end of high school, moving quickly from job to job, and finally, Bipolar type 2 (which I am genetically already predisposed for). Throw in substance and alcohol abuse as well as a history of compulsive behaviors and an extremely hindered ability to form long lasting, meaningful relationships with others. Self-discovery sucks as much as it is eye opening.


Helpful Resources:

[The Science of Neglect - The Persistent Abscence of Responsive Care Disrupts the Developing Brain](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/the-science-of-neglect-the-persistent-absence-of-responsive-care-disrupts-the-developing-brain/)

[Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/wp3/)

[Persistent Fear and Anxiety Can Affect Young Childrens Learning and Development](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/persistent-fear-and-anxiety-can-affect-young-childrens-learning-and-development/)

[Establishing a Level Foundation for Life: Mental Health Begins in Early Childhood](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/establishing-a-level-foundation-for-life-mental-health-begins-in-early-childhood/)

[Children’s Emotional Development Is Built into the Architecture of Their Brains](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/childrens-emotional-development-is-built-into-the-architecture-of-their-brains/)

[Maternal Depression Can Undermine the Development of Young Children](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/maternal-depression-can-undermine-the-development-of-young-children/)

[TEDx Liz Mullinar - Treating the Core Problem of Childhood Trauma](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svX3fEdVTLQ)

[Developmental Trauma Disorder - debate on DTD with respect to formalizing its diagnostic criteria. Victims of abuse, neglect, and maltreatment in childhood often develop a wide range of age-dependent psychopathologies with various mental comorbidities.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3541245/)

[Neuroplasticity and Genetics - How our DNA Change From Experience](http://www.kristajordan.com/dr-jordans-blog/neuroplasticity-and-genetics-how-our-dna-change-from-experience) -- (this is extremely relevant to being biologically predisposed to mental illness, and the potential for psychotherapy/healing to literally rewrite our DNA that is passed on to offspring)


Essentially, due to how the brain response to stress (the release of adrenaline and cortisol), extended periods of the releasing of those chemicals during the early and middle developmental period of children adversely affect how their brain develops, leading to issues with anxiety, depression, PTSD, biopolar disorder, personality disorders, and physiological disorders such as heart disease, cancer, headaches, and chronic unexplained pain. This can be compounded with how parent(s) interact with babies and children in the way they communicate, how much attention they give them, how they respond to the child's distress, providing food and medical care, what their general environment was like, etc. High periods of stress or neglect during this crucial developmental period can also ruin the person's ability to have proper relationships with people in general, learning and cognitive disabilities (ADD/ADHD), etc.


I am not claiming this to be the root of everyone's psychological problems, but the more I keep researching, the more that keeps clicking in my head, and the more inspired I feel to share, and begin the healing process from within myself rather than solely relying on medications to dull my senses. I am also not claiming that there is no validity to medicine. Of course it is valid. Without it, I probably never would have been able to get to a semi-normal baseline of brain/emotional activity which has allowed me to start working on myself and actually trying to figure out where all this came from and how I can become better instead of self-medicating and practiced isolation from others.


I know this is a lot, but I am like a hunting dog that has caught a scent of the perpitrator, and I will not rest easily as I blaze a trail of self discovery and learning as much as I can process.


I hope this has been helpful to you, I hope this has been relative/relevant, I hope this can positively trigger those who are suffering to take more personal responsibility for their own mental health instead of relying on a ""professional"" to fix you wholly and completely, I hope this can inspire a shift in the medical understanding and framework of mental illnesses as well as shine a light on a better understanding of childhood development and the prevention of ACEs.


Thank you for your time and I wish you great health and healing.",13.997131196120687,13.309719467968748,12.33939655172414,45.90250000000003,50.8046875,15.358836206896553,49.56896551724138,13.973463886528721,7.464212284482759,6629,352,813,209,58,2096,520,1280,0.163,0.7240000000000001,0.113,-0.9973,5,2,2,0,6,0,343.0,10,10,10,14,32,64,3,6,72,0,71,37,10,25,8,181,113,84,0,10,14,7,2,4,1,2,25,1,1,14,56,85,3,8,23,0,1,20,12,32,3,0,21,12,92,32,191,83,33,147,0,13,6,0,77,61,1,12,66,609,148,22,0.03449411214832725,0.2452192942608475,0.06732255524253923,0.0,0.08291043916080032,0.0,0.030576949163859998,0.03686371555719292,0.03454087065237327,0.0,0.03806511050611477,0.08275478706791352,0.028701864573119292,0.0,0.0,0.023457179114369488,0.0,0.10555160551573407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03070707298846868,0.0322473384958228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420545812056931,0.03809603680307254,0.029351948826819508,0.0,0.036199442582067684,0.0915217171827139,0.03765863656925348,0.038315182455846884,0.0,0.3465615334080889,0.0,0.07890414992271694,0.140676184989134,0.035434955016827537,0.03649019689688149,0.0,0.03616642030957408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03556191499354368,0.1188389129945464,0.035010797735195644,0.0,0.0,0.15813296380684425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552049335452066,0.09165463490551763,0.0,0.07694010630428016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03296060237042785,0.0,0.13496744232897714,0.0,0.07763093220177393,0.03488251906859602,0.0,0.0,0.03778661379961098,0.0,0.0,0.04171041733030223,0.0,0.026650065479452832,0.0,0.01802174990552478,0.03308989551023134,0.019603798851020773,0.028932024707950837,0.0,0.038029880418444136,0.0,0.0341545941834305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03405579440837754,0.035400910615779484,0.21999376917761065,0.0,0.040875688978442425,0.06936202880503743,0.07288984668576279,0.0,0.1370417459610602,0.0,0.03980157415102084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800144561558339,0.06846016755679019,0.061319903572300334,0.0,0.0,0.018957061937754937,0.02811730526870664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218210576122634,0.06740832332306987,0.0345721623010334,0.0,0.09157861135458792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865132125476859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038315182455846884,0.10424756707436708,0.34761951943751584,0.0,0.0,0.16159634900361206,0.0,0.07332356453074765,0.07607142411729867,0.0,0.07981195735005357,0.033314628459272314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036195768165448006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03670416734155533,0.0,0.07660325887552541,0.0,0.0,0.07174162244965887,0.12047571291195955,0.0,0.03786417675139304,0.06521617092506628,0.0,0.033035824384811265,0.0,0.037190487036042566,0.06601241358869524,0.08064354239713012,0.0,0.038641299954546716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03405877434577679,0.2222026043172002,0.0,0.029457783302044738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034909883046864466,0.0,0.0,0.2878790548562601,0.0,0.0,0.02853388602141581,0.0,0.0,0.03516240338924656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883022023761383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185386667674078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187055898063657,0.0,0.0,0.031757544036055595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022758837598288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025771368717734,0.0,0.0,0.2154575234796648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213946196374447,0.027669096112617808,0.0,0.0930430481930372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966652663423243,0.03325109318572494,0.0,0.050224248933750285,0.0,0.0,0.024503627585745272,0.0,0.0,0.04442615457926417
mentalhealth,xbubbl3sx,2018/01/24,"I disagree with my psychiatrists diagnosis. Does/has anyone else felt the same way? So I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder.  My psychiatrist only diagnosed me with this because I seemed to be on the borderline of psychosis and neurosis and I do not match any of the criteria for diagnosis of bpd.  I expressed to my doctor how I felt this wasn’t the correct diagnosis but he is firm that it is bpd.  

Has anyone felt the same way about there diagnosis? And did you diagnosis changed? ",5.8823015873015905,8.781305030612247,7.681156462585032,59.38685941043087,70.12244897959185,12.110657596371885,36.39909297052153,11.429527900616536,5.703479365079366,455,25,69,19,9,158,63,98,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.6994,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,1,1,17,13,8,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,11,0,12,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,52,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707601228383936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806062900635263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222196888738176,0.16281661942876338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686681581635877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002697543367187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810007759318168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32256980320040674,0.0,0.0,0.3642370519552069,0.16264566963419375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274446690591146,0.1787463729335448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577202266935274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208541668997007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774988683374993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466084932660994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522622714001244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmethystShatter,2018/01/24,"The only thing I fear more than succumbing to my mental illness... Is that there's nothing wrong with me. That I'm just looking for excuses for why I'm a lazy failure.

Depression and Anxiety have been my lifelong friends. I started meds for those in the past year, but I feel like there's something else. I feel better but still not *right*. I've been writing out my feelings and reading about all sorts of mental illnesses, just trying to sort out and explain to my GP how I feel. There's something wrong with me still.

I know I need to call and make a therapy appointment. But I'm so scared and anxious that there isn't anything wrong. That I'm just lazy and looking for excuses so I won't have to be a productive member of society.

I want to be normal.",2.224988962472409,4.506890350993377,3.4181192052980163,88.48620750551876,79.26490066225165,6.675673289183223,27.285209713024287,7.793537801064563,1.7458287858719648,597,26,119,10,15,193,84,151,0.161,0.718,0.121,-0.7366,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,13,9,0,2,5,0,9,2,0,2,1,32,25,12,0,3,7,0,4,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,6,15,3,19,20,2,9,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,2,6,78,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042806523437937,0.16307546140250445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878851469988674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766666574810948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739843745022752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432924324005942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058667809638925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624349265650022,0.2919526669386153,0.10312433219832824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152516931926013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793314952278019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052257224216725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24243684854218406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635536571001503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034134003089895,0.0,0.2909435685539994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703438445536184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414332613742208,0.13850860910916427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978538586373666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779929494836984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438999196066685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327490426106318,0.0,0.0,0.14452046170097965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22225679429115255,0.0,0.0,0.10217233019737508,0.0,0.23055767601039875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507786710433764,0.0,0.09590034276346973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980048050411948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514191766199733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025426066512327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734752393409167,0.0,0.09295726525467783
mentalhealth,randomName_2,2018/01/24,"I am really confused. I was an excellent student growing up and at some point in high school I realized I am not actually particularly good at anything. I am now 3rd year in university and I still feel the same way. I don't even know if that's true anymore. Maybe I am just setting way too high standards or maybe I really just suck at everything.

The problem is it's really impairing my ability to enjoy my everyday life. I am constantly in that mindset of I need to be the best, I need to be the best. I feel worthless and I need to prove myself to me every day. And when I fail to I become anxious to the point of having short panic attacks sometimes, very angry with myself. I get this feeling that I just need to keep working and that's what I do but I am not in a condition to which just leads to more failure. This ends up undoing the work done previously because I am doing more harm than good and this just fuels this endless circle.

Anything seems to trigger this behavior. The internet died? I go mad about it even though it will be back in a minute. I do something wrong, it will stay on the back of my mind for the rest of the day, at least.

I try to stop myself, to think rationally but I am just telling myself this without it actually having any effect. I just keep going and going. It doesn't help that I am getting no support from my parents and my friends seem to take what I am trying to do as a joke which just adds to the need to prove myself.

It's also impacting my social life very negatively. I'd stay home all day, working(which is probably a bad idea in terms of productivity on its own). I just can't have a healthy relationship because I don't  see myself as an equal part of it. I constantly question why they are my friends(if they even are), if they are still mad at me for that little thing a week ago they probably didn't even notice. Do they just pity me or feel better about themselves when they are around me because of how much I suck? My mindset is so focused on achieving something worthy so that I can feel like I matter, like I am not useless after all, like I am good at something. Not good. The best.

And every day I ask myself ""What if everyone is right? What if I should just give up on that dream of mine and go work at Subway or something?"" It is eating me alive. And the worst part is I don't even know if anything will ever be good enough. Or what if it is? What if I achieve what I am trying to and then lose any purpose in life?

I have also been overeating with junk food because it calms me down which has led to me gaining a lot of weigh. I feel terrible right now but I can't stop eating because I have the feeling I am going mad at times and this helps.

I just found this subreddit and am writing here because I have no one to talk to about it. Or more like I am afraid of how they might think of me. I really only have 2 friends I could possibly share this with but I am scared of losing even them if I just go psycho like that. The only times I feel good are when I am watching a movie that somehow relates to me and has a happy ending. It gives me some hope.

I really don't know what I am doing and what I should do with my life. I have thought of talking to a therapist but just the thought of it freaks me out. What if they tell me I do, indeed, need to prove myself? I just keep going like that? I am not sure how much longer I will be able to take this before I completely break down. But then if they don't say that, it means I have to give up? You have no idea how scary this is to me. It would mean I have wasted  more than a year of my life and have nothing to show for it. That's not much of a confidence booster. I am just so confused right now, I don't even know if this post makes any sense.",2.8385380814079504,3.9900323925831254,4.185802158741172,88.6596985131562,74.17902813299233,7.143127140318178,25.01894317048853,7.591517297339326,1.0690240755992888,2929,92,643,36,59,968,282,782,0.166,0.7140000000000001,0.12,-0.9912,1,0,4,0,0,0,68.0,0,1,10,16,51,52,6,5,30,0,84,9,0,9,8,141,135,56,1,24,45,1,8,6,2,8,5,1,1,0,57,24,4,5,29,3,0,10,21,24,0,1,7,11,111,28,89,114,25,86,0,6,2,0,30,37,2,27,38,494,168,10,0.05164905900945182,0.0,0.10080406225378404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04578377448598278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260746765913513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536939374438453,0.0,0.0,0.05834873536052506,0.05122198802121411,0.0,0.0,0.12750832433923293,0.045978612754811084,0.04828489806337247,0.058758260923504176,0.0,0.07942987654423979,0.04312480689025619,0.18890872189756816,0.05704232781546052,0.043949545084097125,0.0,0.16260750281011166,0.045679395477599714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05415305570694078,0.11162856824969944,0.0,0.04123757089686545,0.0,0.0,0.13323748096421106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360356891702195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285491953694154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056997631367729,0.0,0.0,0.09149147205893816,0.05336728462051335,0.0,0.238796014533063,0.04671953083848173,0.08703311964222447,0.049352889255329366,0.046418843887145074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892252892609825,0.036898098076322335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245424716942924,0.056630527322537434,0.07980786973934413,0.0,0.05396900319228367,0.14863945114535254,0.205473453416724,0.2599246813447266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054981383725911236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923855107719502,0.10914013314719924,0.05180821739334483,0.05129916950365938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661100175320264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772417033554032,0.0,0.0,0.11353988836804067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824062891125824,0.15139872802365836,0.051765925822126455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556417142787236,0.0,0.043910182982007266,0.0,0.0,0.034476147950325116,0.0,0.10377684376072777,0.112521933403566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547914895759133,0.05215082610787915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390400356653126,0.22978273687594886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049558665102393616,0.05880279600991908,0.0,0.0,0.03499873907295794,0.0785628735448474,0.0,0.060599042336154776,0.057350167775954634,0.11186179548635704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765011043029813,0.058226553619438425,0.04946552141246365,0.0,0.1113728424871469,0.049421174114263985,0.0,0.0,0.05785876653303264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543854875598085,0.0,0.0,0.0554517602554068,0.0,0.13232404256522382,0.0,0.04107340476575018,0.05170971831965551,0.05227160512922499,0.04115761300432072,0.0940387270384206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264971134076324,0.0,0.15904787588077865,0.05108224002336706,0.0,0.0,0.11010204955620964,0.0824940104855152,0.08636185204734344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058610740094885434,0.04867862687490234,0.0,0.07766732914081012,0.08302711440042856,0.09028710819737598,0.0,0.0,0.059968538360848936,0.034313339804558744,0.06618926303131886,0.05074493824019045,0.08200716719525793,0.06023396331828284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519896220242808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085231765619677,0.0,0.08199323795178559,0.04142975971416887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660524225880502,0.0,0.0,0.0497878497841427,0.0,0.11280339028861455,0.0,0.0,0.036690009636417394,0.056470138021718186,0.0,0.0665206012423403
mentalhealth,alecsdoe,2018/01/24,"i need advice about some kind of thoughts that i have this is what happens to me:
I am studying or doing something, I get distracted and my mind starts wandering, I suddenly think of some memory from the past, it is usually unpleasant, I feel a feeling of discomfort, I frown, I squeeze my eyes and I shake my head, sometimes I say things, like shut up. this has been years, but I started to worry about what happened to me in public, once I said ""I'm going to kill them"", it was something that came out of my mouth so fast that I did not realize it, and it's weird because it's not I wanted to kill someone, but I just said it, as if I were saying anything.

this happens very frequently, at least once a day.
A couple of years ago (2) I started taking medication for schizophrenia, three months ago they changed my medication for a stronger one, now I feel good, and I do not feel paranoid, which is why I mainly take the medication, I have never had a hallucination of any kind, but I have had psychotic outbreaks, these are very intense anxiety attacks, I have not had more than three, for the last one I had the doctor I changed the medication.

I feel good now, my life has improved as a result of the medication change, but I would like to know why this is still happening to me, what explanations I can have, and what I can do about it, if there is someone who has gone through something similar and an advice to improve my quality of life.
 y creo que la pregunta mas importante que puedo hacer es: ¿esto se volvera mas intenso al punto de que no podre controlarlo?

please! I'm very worried

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mentalhealth,TheScribbleFish,2018/01/24,"Place to scream into the void? I feel like I need to talk to someone about my issues, preferably my boyfriend but I feel like I talk about my issues too much and it annoys people. I feel bad for feeling. Is there a place I can go to scream into a void so I can feel better?",-0.6703448275862058,1.508684293103446,1.0719827586206918,100.29004310344831,94.0,2.9000000000000004,14.14655172413793,3.1291,-1.4745241379310348,211,4,48,0,8,68,34,58,0.215,0.619,0.166,-0.6387,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,10,3,0,2,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,10,3,9,10,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677081256858285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764266904441198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077994585127039,0.28698613702778397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415228839137835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192873487405301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625824623153784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476538163202072,0.1489337378927965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924971783572473,0.0,0.4197079331562503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701864183851607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32288426873732523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LousAir,2018/01/24,"How do i communicate with a psychiatrist? Have numerous mental problems (emotinal, very fast exhausted during school/work, feeling choked, pain in limbs/eyes, cant bring myself to do homework or paperwork. Just nameing a few the list goes on). Decided to seek professional help mainly because of my inabylity to perform at school, but also during internships and past parttimejobs did i perform badly. Just wanna find a way to live a life. Sadly me and my past psychiatrist could not make any progress towards that, during sessions i am very nervous and cant even think straight also cant put my troubles into words. I dont let it show ill just keep up an act, after leaving i just feel like a wreck. Ill just keep looking for new psychiatrist but any advise how these sessions could bear any fruits would be highly appreciated!",8.966862416107382,8.931829402684569,8.542206375838926,66.99236996644298,60.34228187919463,10.939932885906039,38.75922818791946,10.411451182825502,4.2124557046979865,667,30,106,13,8,213,106,149,0.214,0.6990000000000001,0.087,-0.9636,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,10,8,0,1,7,0,14,6,0,3,0,31,22,10,0,5,9,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,3,5,1,2,5,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,1,4,10,1,15,16,2,17,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,1,6,68,13,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479019965782239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162097063095399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941597210385644,0.09448469703870413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475048914839483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165526133076412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237401819052903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674222173430846,0.11072984612969064,0.0,0.0,0.141664396719415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389118283498104,0.1637627788425003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27553680694777755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411938148253272,0.0,0.1584948742657321,0.10947892373609977,0.07572367652308312,0.0,0.13686513920827628,0.0,0.13015839406171856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346166216447024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620046157704826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969701215358738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492767407966852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959242382693501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831114042522325,0.0,0.155814736864225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137303598108886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931578174755153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25577741901241524,0.0,0.12302935781807173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283961957180175,0.0,0.0,0.11010538031347482,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,punkbastard25,2018/01/24,I have deleted my old account I will now make reddit my playground. I originally made a reddit account to explore the fun side of the Internet. It went very wrong instead of the playground I expected I found myself in a pit of my own self loathing. I will now do my best to keep my feed humorous and light hearted. Its just something that want to experiment with. I plan to expose myself to humour and other positive interests and avoid all the negative thoughts I read and posted. I will not be subscribing to this sub reddit. Despite any issues that I am suffering from. I invite anyone reading this to do the same. Like many people my old account had me obsessed with feeling sorry for myself. I hope to see things change for me because reddit was becoming like the voice in my head that was dragging me down. To anyone suffering I wish you luck in your endeavours to have a more enjoyable life. ,5.518450980392156,6.909818394117651,6.107941176470586,76.50406862745098,68.0,8.960784313725489,32.990196078431374,9.2995712137729,3.1626666666666665,717,32,123,14,12,233,104,170,0.123,0.6709999999999999,0.206,0.9349,0,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,4,15,0,2,9,0,12,4,2,3,1,24,23,4,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,9,6,1,2,4,2,3,2,2,5,0,0,7,4,28,10,22,12,5,13,0,2,1,0,3,5,0,2,7,95,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234273835124088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310255695640807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070534887905648,0.18245216417199445,0.0,0.0,0.17336886445850494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747613650552034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161598843424145,0.0,0.0,0.08353088181764493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811350038452985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954448014884754,0.0,0.0,0.19576466588085265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408244289132665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242752718690962,0.0,0.14683875348264408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668676045213215,0.16141829315572928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631772793885695,0.11027333642835324,0.167488471137842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34670253337854506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452997368040055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821744622339906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33049256869170673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164426930621245,0.0,0.17234127545150826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718024611165032,0.0,0.18492964182518631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975258807046707,0.0,0.0,0.13115160009593835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630860353226554,0.0974401711966178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314351830929898,0.0,0.0,0.18997366227392096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062199225960068,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,openbookdustypages,2018/01/24,"Boyfriend is struggling with depression and self image issues. Got any advice? My boyfriend of nearly a year and friend of many more is struggling with depression and self image issues. He's blaming himself on things that happened in the past that are unrelated to our relationship. I respect that he's not comfortable with seeking professional help, but I want to help him in any way I can. Any advice for being a supportive girlfriend?",6.762770562770567,9.078459324675324,6.272142857142858,72.95202380952381,66.14285714285714,8.769696969696971,34.91125541125541,9.2995712137729,3.600083982683984,356,17,54,7,6,110,52,77,0.147,0.685,0.16699999999999998,0.4037,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,2,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,7,4,12,7,1,7,0,2,0,0,12,4,0,0,2,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348747711804549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495635871047889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951602187647515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238153999896024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704109599551165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152075393193387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229699302808908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576815366004704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371800981205196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356920135054914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396154269595769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35750261706391995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35825620778483597,0.0,0.0,0.1944414770017267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138347077968865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106434491297714,0.13600652598558854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034124407629037
mentalhealth,skelekey,2018/01/24,"I think some of my teachers pity-passed me. Should I thank them? (Long) I’ve missed a lot of school because of my mental health and health problems. I was failing almost all of my classes and was extremely depressed.

I was (am) suffering from major depression (with psychosis), PTSD, and EDNOS. I was hospitalized in December for 10 days because of the stress of school and failing. I’m a senior in high school, so I couldn’t afford to fail any classes, or I wouldn’t graduate.

The semester ended a week ago, and my school counselor called me into her office today. She said that I passed everything except for my English class, which I can make up online. The problem is, I was failing drastically in most of my classes, and couldn’t turn in the missed work before the semester ended. The semester exams are a major grade, but I don’t think I could’ve passed with just that.

I think my teachers raised some of my grades in order for me to pass the class. I missed about 4-5 assignments in my French class and still made a 76, so she had to have put some kind of grade in for them instead of a 0. 

I’m very happy that I’m on schedule to graduate, but I’m not sure how I should react to this. Should I thank my teachers? I’m just going to try and work harder, but I don’t know if I should thank them or something. 

I’m thinking of emailing my French teacher and thanking her, because I didn’t pass French 1, and this class is French 2. My counselor said that if I passed French 2, then she would put the grade for French 1 too. So if I didn’t pass French 2, I would have to make up 2 years of foreign language credits. I told her that, so that’s why I’m maybe thinking that she changed it. ",4.878032581453635,5.059402400584798,5.2871595655806205,86.16289473684212,68.85380116959064,8.034753550543027,29.15121136173768,7.62386473244151,1.5940825396825398,1319,44,278,13,21,421,147,342,0.093,0.8540000000000001,0.053,-0.7013,1,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,3,6,11,21,0,1,14,0,26,2,0,5,2,55,54,24,0,14,12,0,0,0,0,7,2,2,0,0,11,13,0,0,6,0,1,9,8,13,0,0,12,2,48,8,40,33,8,34,0,10,0,0,15,12,0,11,12,175,59,27,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971926628521891,0.0,0.10135025424467063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882834804688913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509561644723432,0.0,0.08612485499031049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033498453078148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070699916674777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081038852277682,0.0,0.0,0.06527404723620855,0.0,0.17434931168027773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928944995558804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096376745079927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575217115314904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077431789453072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516948875618705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693714943965288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053978215499594,0.05562404799982715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957036856011852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604771982706555,0.0,0.09577023973579983,0.1351210000997552,0.0,0.1016821175639297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199895373216873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936944487546936,0.11831264485770045,0.20349415073097848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255358545235865,0.0,0.0,0.4097320600930863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791875445205397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082887635172557,0.0,0.11593921237647015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953921063962367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727335300413928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242661937444355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593814147338416,0.09671341130686957,0.0,0.0687170204490821,0.11009073962501513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351137014634259,0.0,0.0,0.08118700752962532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132903932560307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736861875638546,0.0,0.0,0.14379770045323814,0.0,0.0,0.06517788892811381
mentalhealth,puppypunk,2018/01/24,"Not sure what's wrong with me. Terrible intrusive thoughts, please help. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm only diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD, but I suspect I have bipolar disorder although I don't have the money for a psychiatrist right now. I've been having vile intrusive thoughts that don't seem to ever stop. They come and go, but when they come back they always feel worse.

I feel like a horrible person even though I don't want to do these things. I don't know how to cope with them or get them to stop. I'm not on any medication and I've been trying distractions, but they hardly ever work and it's driving me mad. I can't live like this. I can't even talk about it to anyone because the things that flash in my head are just *that* bad.

I don't know what to do. Please help.",1.5872560975609744,3.648895347560977,2.869695121951221,92.74466463414636,80.28048780487805,6.5390243902439025,20.615853658536587,7.6454224807358475,0.5916048780487806,623,17,139,10,16,201,89,164,0.247,0.6409999999999999,0.112,-0.9781,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,6,1,11,10,2,1,4,0,16,4,1,1,3,33,31,12,0,1,7,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,12,10,0,2,9,0,1,4,10,7,0,0,4,3,20,3,14,27,0,14,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,2,9,87,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617997825064665,0.0,0.0,0.09495043614279,0.0,0.10681347201240464,0.0,0.0,0.097629712931079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736373940244102,0.11658183872833495,0.08511468509947198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405507906816944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171740337811653,0.0,0.0,0.16002343897367935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844432504680655,0.2525993367824675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411981544402087,0.0997488088529396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729487976897284,0.0,0.07935264687558664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507742872033034,0.0,0.1432965100548296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187176666460365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302043170066953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364283758923697,0.0,0.12329227472715408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065845843717753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619182918253713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191599669583282,0.0,0.30653473541753234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632152673894288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923980111553692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711022379427905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334670977955979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159580847024965,0.0,0.0,0.11222605223186284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552255816498375,0.0,0.13718179008318931,0.2216948209149039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479685692337728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235500477138577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164935685472826,0.0,0.14229077487297412,0.0,0.3053181219138281,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LikeCoolStuff,2018/01/24,"Interpersonal Behaviors that I have Noticed I have noticed that I befriend people, forgive people, give way too much benefit of the doubt to people, and pardon people who don't treat me well way too often. I think I do this because I want to have friends and I am difficult to like, so when a person likes me and is a little nice to me, I hold on to that. Even if they start to treat me badly. I also do not want to make anyone feel bad and I do not want to have conflict with anybody and lose them. And the sick part is, I really like them as people, even if they do absolutely horrific things to me. 

I know logically that this is unhealthy, but if I were to start getting choosy with people I interact with and befriend, I would probably be all alone. 

Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to be here at all. Even small interpersonal relationships are difficult for me. ",3.970617173524147,5.413981732558142,5.349069767441861,80.27786225402505,71.79069767441861,8.315563506261181,27.18425760286225,8.841846274778883,2.0618939177101967,686,24,134,13,13,230,91,172,0.16399999999999998,0.715,0.121,-0.826,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,1,11,17,0,1,4,0,19,1,0,1,3,35,32,15,0,7,6,0,2,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,8,10,0,2,7,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,3,2,27,11,19,26,4,10,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,5,8,106,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353941967679435,0.0,0.10454268210621802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140766173787386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183038945691024,0.07969023067793425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25903271262080946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219943756460684,0.09339170529797614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099969157948233,0.0,0.06829968892886708,0.12540566714582346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184437916081635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554672847152744,0.131023232657058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625056037674733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726157761644462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609970601864486,0.0,0.10082505654536092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976681011739958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415650722234406,0.0,0.5437796576082545,0.11414615337725614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409462848497345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374734198160813,0.0,0.0,0.14035234123219464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292927753716425,0.0,0.1850591019207676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868494986432121,0.08376486145877897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313192836245889,0.20753070522444714,0.0,0.0,0.1175396633122345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286501868623476,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littleworriedfox,2018/01/24,"Nightmares so bad I can't get up in the mornings... I have had horrific nightmares since a young age. They have been so bad that, as a 23F, I have to sleep all the lights on in my room. The nightmares have always had one thing in common: feelings of overwhelming, life-ending terror. I would often not be able to get up in the morning, waking up feeling totally mentally shattered/exhausted. Somehow, in the last year or so, I've come to recognize those feelings and can, with difficulty, wake myself when dreams turn that way. Sort of an unconscious yet lucid ""this is so horrible it can't be real"" kind of recognition. Suddenly it seems, my dreams have switched to causing a feeling of utter despair which I don't recognize to wake up from. This very morning I woke up completely depressed, exhausted, and crying from having dreamed about various family members/pets dying all night. It caused me to miss my first appointment! I hate sleeping honestly. I am sick of being tortured every night. What do I about this?",5.549427043544688,7.327206620320855,5.836398013750955,77.00905080213906,68.35828877005348,9.193124522536287,33.143239113827356,9.606745405546679,3.4089559969442327,806,37,136,18,14,257,119,187,0.225,0.72,0.055,-0.9892,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,1,10,12,2,2,9,0,20,7,5,2,3,21,32,9,1,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,12,4,0,0,5,3,0,1,4,10,0,2,4,5,15,2,28,24,4,25,0,4,0,0,1,12,0,5,11,102,27,0,0.15665794633299426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303519609554768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616056831625207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32186172860271345,0.0,0.13494694932332185,0.164252876187988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208139795634586,0.0,0.0,0.1349292596234705,0.0,0.16258621519364075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875244190908542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199107638736998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768316960256586,0.0,0.3168438588423134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325316912209592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369462228140028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466728900902627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313514393153047,0.0,0.12769713511895875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065214042087486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787436356144754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940257406663824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615547877475466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831103971611806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426155106805725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958907206520182,0.0,0.31354216565659504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407657852245956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039886014857014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925921227209805,0.0,0.12434778597194412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128531033889832,0.0,0.0,0.10088258120592293
mentalhealth,kasem9200,2018/01/24,What is wrong with me ? So I do homework and I suddenly get unfocused. Or I am watching a educational video and I have to repeat it 2 or 3 times to even remember anything. I cant learn shit I mean i need to work for 2-3 days to something that others do in 6 hours. I am thinking that I might have ADHD but the constant movement thing is not present and if I focus on something like my teacher I get really easily distracted like if someone clicks their pen or something like that. I also tend to not listen to what people are saying to me like my parents would come to me say something and then notice that I didn't hear a single word that they said but this doesnt happen always. Am I dumb or what ? And I constantly forget shit like I will go put my phone somewhere then forget about it then look for my phone. ,4.1830048992923246,4.748685275449105,5.3812084921066985,83.52246053347852,70.49700598802394,7.988894937397933,27.75666848121938,8.00094639256281,1.6562143712574855,639,21,131,8,11,213,100,167,0.097,0.75,0.152,0.8868,1,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,1,4,10,3,1,3,0,16,2,2,0,0,27,29,18,0,4,10,1,0,5,0,3,0,5,1,0,13,7,0,0,4,1,0,4,5,5,0,0,2,8,25,5,14,24,1,17,0,0,3,0,10,2,3,7,16,93,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688245950834716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233843457567767,0.11688710646676854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559960180793805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100745027002995,0.0,0.3036088374683079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059526010461676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278293118641397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467855995597862,0.0,0.07983562592649186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422227281751315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832641925382618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834035161138508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431468644196226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179642797363581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301931183926576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902260876524984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416101467433683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993261238039447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598173514257976,0.0,0.0,0.097388221823349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121696367721595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999238501006676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913168037751174,0.0,0.13362464024182852,0.22342396516096585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28839274938593346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190246768368186,0.4325804895208531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332586963234787,0.09001121091543196,0.0,0.0,0.08191255995627175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226804459649692,0.0,0.0,0.09978996727339727,0.15358821872639147,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IcarusDad,2018/01/24,"Could I get some help? Hey, so for my senior project I have to grather data via a survey. Any chance you could spare a minute, to help me out??

https://goo.gl/forms/51zpAS9Q1aSrZJbt2


Thank you!! :)",4.675000000000002,8.0521636969697,2.6456818181818207,90.78852272727272,78.6969696969697,4.512121212121213,17.340909090909093,5.985473137389443,-0.603781818181818,154,3,29,1,4,42,27,33,0.0,0.6409999999999999,0.359,0.9189,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,4,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,17,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792561527564115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6557413868555427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454773056970566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.55050021763866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780714435125115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dyadiccounterpoint,2018/01/24,"My moods are getting increasingly difficult to predict and handle I've had a slow burning depression for years. It was stable, although unpleasant. The past 2 months have been different. My depression collapsed into an acute neuroticism because I couldn't no longer tolerate my environment. This collapsed into frenzied elation (not even requiring sleep) thinking I could fix it. This collapsed into bestial rage as I realized I could not. 

This brought about a calm, pacified state because if I persisted in that fury I was going to unravel my mind entirely. For a moment, I felt genuinely happier than I had in years.

All of these states lasted for at least days each, sometimes weeks.

Currently, I feel like I'm sitting on a mix of them. Hope, fear, and anger are all co-existing. I spontaneously broke into tears yesterday. I woke up furious this morning. I'm calm now.

I feel like I'm teetering on madness, held together by an optimism I realize is shallow. I realize I cannot trust myself to remain stable. 

Thanks for letting me vent. I need to release the tension so I can think as calmly as possible while I make enormous life decisions soon.",4.973455377574368,7.644531512077299,5.874406305619122,72.35075514874144,72.04347826086956,9.768522756165778,36.015509788965176,10.064110947511567,4.5631700483091775,921,52,143,28,19,302,138,207,0.224,0.632,0.14400000000000002,-0.9602,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,5,20,4,3,8,0,15,2,1,1,2,30,32,9,0,6,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,9,0,0,3,5,11,0,0,9,3,25,8,26,19,5,31,0,3,0,0,1,11,0,2,16,98,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205719422863481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28889670153476443,0.0,0.0,0.11667718276747295,0.0,0.3116489227439617,0.0,0.0,0.18902086794697756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949467342152273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035831175382986,0.18295521586978056,0.2584957987417738,0.17370971089648926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945222200791358,0.0,0.102819903677347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969245688773686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747236703280303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850009755807465,0.12778777730534865,0.17677485276708532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076421098351528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826756682948143,0.0,0.14440707072656525,0.0,0.0,0.13414845028723196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270676112222905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20395793103894355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104871848101625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893258900561984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656504403208136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318499774706472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145121556222787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23301060010402105
mentalhealth,VagabondingOregonian,2018/01/24,"High key don't know what to do I feel more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet than people I actually know. I personally suffer from delusions and paranoia, hallucinations, depression and anxiety along with ADHD and bipolar disorder. Lately though my medication hasn't been working and I've found myself more paranoid and more panicked about every day situations I can't handle it. My mom is kind of not a good person to talk to. She's very manipulative and emotionally abusive and it makes me more anxious trying to explain what's going on to her and my therapist is not very helpful either neither is my psychiatrist all they do is add more meds I don't need them they don't help what do I do?",5.049063568010941,7.260955000000003,6.337484620642518,71.1612235133288,70.42857142857143,9.046889952153112,32.39166097060834,9.573946990214177,3.4561488721804503,577,27,96,14,11,194,86,133,0.232,0.742,0.025,-0.9783,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,14,2,0,2,1,23,22,9,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,11,0,0,5,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,2,1,17,3,14,20,8,6,0,2,0,0,13,3,0,0,2,71,22,1,0.0,0.1945433632582042,0.16022992431526986,0.0,0.19732960734809687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560816877947872,0.18549279149427697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589172208707964,0.0,0.14142028601131654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881808610148373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184696456230105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383407559319066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302155748769657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003054448301015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331538872446277,0.13771836533956344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011191911824865,0.1734802634233895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709830675546171,0.18047375585096945,0.0,0.18521829079050828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960095165322116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823828214157531,0.16540845508314211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230234708999805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174797230524227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383163432572788,0.286736210355752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456124137311666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639462727802228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064220524496736,0.0,0.0,0.16132003873293388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114771327984998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709549406871252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953538567355415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helpmeouti,2018/01/24,"Sexual thoughts, images, and stimulation all cause infuriating discomfort. Don't know where to start or what to say. After a convoluted string of events, starting with the utter destruction of my sleep, and most recently involving a connection of a very unpleasant tickling sensation inside my mouth to sexual... everything, I can no longer see or experience sexual gratification of any kind without experiencing discomfort. this has persisted for months now.

how can I reverse this?",10.431688311688312,12.440816064935072,10.644571428571432,46.17542857142861,57.18181818181819,16.03012987012987,42.67272727272727,14.265292616868653,7.888451428571428,395,21,50,19,5,132,61,77,0.21,0.722,0.069,-0.9061,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,2,4,0,4,2,2,3,1,13,9,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,3,4,1,11,8,2,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,7,36,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012084778755034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872009313765281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25126432751101296,0.2734783713143013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911347396335616,0.1536473192106564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231544037570048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760469629213557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22232956624565747,0.0,0.0,0.22278538385470334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279777289438284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957697907307587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219516255779264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23067897084071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695006929652627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Huwbacca,2018/01/24,"How do you have fun? The above basically... 

I have felt like a ball of stress for the past 10-12 months and I just don't understand how to not do that. I've seen therapists and counsellors and they all tell me to go do stuff, go have fun and relax and be more selfish.

So I was wondering how you guys do this?

Between work and sports I don't have much time out but there must be some things I can fit around these...",2.0365097402597416,3.2937552159090937,2.990129870129873,96.01590909090912,76.38636363636364,7.301298701298702,20.525974025974023,7.957251820313856,0.3853519480519481,321,7,80,5,7,102,61,88,0.047,0.8190000000000001,0.134,0.7589,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,7,6,0,1,3,0,15,0,0,3,2,20,21,11,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,3,3,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,2,9,4,7,15,4,8,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,4,57,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328189025847669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25111170627807394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972692927587808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589577697294848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777131075835338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875232444762065,0.0,0.19225609126710266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496618597045813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29958398966706107,0.0,0.29939153632967336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285904705320373,0.0,0.0,0.3036587764237063,0.1737502207801962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250139573454538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722640056956074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28362026682617203,0.1903983900434109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlubberyGiraffe,2018/01/24,"Looking for ways to rationalize thoughts. Hey everyone,

I've been thinking about my thought process and patterns recently and I have managed to figure out the origins of where I get down and sad about stuff.

I've noticed if I am stressed or anxious about something it begins a chain reaction of thoughts that I lose control over. This can be about work, friends, family and sometimes about my relationship. Basically I'll sit there and think about something that absolutely wouldn't happen (boss will come and fire me, friends will cut all ties with me, partner leave me for someone else). Nothing is there to re-enforce this so I fill in the gaps with complete rubbish so it grows legs and becomes more and more real. Eventually the thought becomes the only real possibility and it gets me really down.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any techniques to stop these thoughts from growing legs? I've had my fair share of previous bosses and partners who re-enforced those thoughts last, which is why I think it's so easy to imagine these unrealistic scenarios, but I feel like I am glitched. I just want to get to a point where when I think this stuff, I rationalise the thoughts and logic kicks in to be like ""No. That's ridiculous"". I know there are techniques and strategies to combat it. I saw a counsellor for a while but it never worked, I don't have the money to go see another. Having a lot of trouble with it. I feel if I get my head around this I am well on my way to fixing it, just don't know where to start.

Any help would be appreciated.",4.656302878965924,6.432670814189192,4.856833137485314,83.16360752056406,70.58783783783784,7.715393654524091,32.12632197414805,8.321376580360154,2.420338601645124,1235,57,235,19,23,387,163,296,0.068,0.8290000000000001,0.103,0.8994,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,21,12,2,1,11,0,22,3,3,4,2,59,52,23,0,6,9,0,3,2,4,4,0,0,0,2,22,18,0,2,19,0,1,5,5,6,1,0,10,6,26,6,37,35,4,29,0,2,3,0,9,12,0,6,11,157,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274026840134692,0.10234024004653723,0.0,0.11025820474146973,0.0,0.06824294244909554,0.0,0.0,0.0868831049640609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557912507773272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407222182535751,0.10232987341747182,0.0,0.10946469907152828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153078659596051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932592786197486,0.0,0.0,0.09200691276800163,0.0,0.09869718181168856,0.06972418557373458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080828037370447,0.0,0.20396416021361044,0.0,0.05546731575188511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630578078175266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016392750976716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541802743026393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727485506460847,0.07955557294193955,0.0,0.10334241950749308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953631176916302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819579213621354,0.10918743992772972,0.0,0.08297451376711364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527376152540788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364812124566456,0.11111621668871408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742278418106578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226186139532856,0.11002732502589127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221762753451564,0.06252391681897257,0.0,0.09636646474063557,0.10478395971632108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777314269557692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269465236550701,0.15027175100030266,0.09652713198236182,0.0,0.06908052017715904,0.0,0.0,0.08159647939285536,0.1117984275796446,0.0,0.223453216104837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501479858955585,0.0,0.5423745761163421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756595694362196,0.15493784332505314,0.0,0.0,0.08775251796621944,0.0,0.0880672102188108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105841102844394,0.14210532842028972,0.0,0.0,0.06933097297590175,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pastdivision,2018/01/24,"Surveillance paranoia of a different kind I don't feel safe using the internet anymore. I'm convinced my mom could, if she looked hard enough, see everything I've done online. I constantly have to clear my keyboard dictionary so I never have to hear her react to the name of one of my roleplay characters showing up in her predictive text (that wouldn't happen, she wouldn't care, she wouldn't understand it enough *to* care, I *know*, but it still terrifies me), I've asked my girlfriend not to text me because all it would take would be for her to use my name (my *real* name, the one I chose, not the ugly name on my birth certificate) and one technical glitch (that I know can happen!) and suddenly my biggest secret would be out, I can't even use the Safari app because what if my piece of shit iPhone puts my browsing history in the cloud even if I TOLD it not to?

I damn well browse in private mode on all my devices and if I step away from my computer, even if I'm alone in my apartment, I always tab over to a neutral page like my email. I'm not even doing anything wrong, I just feel like if my online presence became known to my mom she would make my life a living hell. every time she calls me my stomach drops because in that split second I know she knows everything. sometimes I think she does know everything and she's keeping quiet about it just to torment me.",4.12341911764706,5.4349792095588265,4.724294117647059,85.41482352941178,71.24264705882355,7.940000000000001,27.938235294117646,8.395991825355821,1.8832214705882349,1083,39,215,17,20,346,143,272,0.12,0.812,0.068,-0.9393,1,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,0,10,12,3,0,9,0,17,3,2,5,4,53,44,12,0,14,13,2,3,2,1,7,1,2,0,0,9,5,0,2,11,1,0,2,10,4,1,4,2,7,47,8,28,32,6,22,1,0,2,0,24,13,3,6,8,144,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731653560990977,0.0,0.0,0.08621810482220663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276076982466784,0.0,0.0,0.08526841742733822,0.0,0.09686842482261313,0.0,0.09735210203440746,0.0,0.0,0.18949289590974436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580510686910193,0.0,0.21129000230076572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197376410901644,0.0,0.08273018472664835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082582891349702,0.0,0.0,0.09067641899878984,0.1060367320844227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141292621748624,0.0,0.2737536663726423,0.0,0.0873022574892381,0.0,0.2793743263286782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478429642983923,0.07402440065033435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18325732003774167,0.0,0.09282097503096663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678451305689508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210004214910172,0.0,0.10790173647236953,0.28472748679909005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318814210142252,0.10124460505608908,0.0,0.09149619776361853,0.0,0.08701264787042172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916552130888144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24271125176877545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799162447831237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106418069056777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416426024248858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793946021611412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256977442418115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636192925004047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248040952638596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274911176724405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790750458016224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639394414376086,0.0,0.0,0.06042022849263511,0.0,0.0,0.09901101243569056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786952706375992,0.0,0.2684768912888512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931646242197786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944277472050657,0.11328952817711158,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coolsnakeee,2018/01/24,"I have so many problems. I think I have body dysmorphia and I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost 35lbs in 3 months. All my friends and family are saying I look amazing. But at work peopl are saying I look unhealthy skinny, but the thing is I still think I’m fat. I look in the mirror and still see myself having the extra 35lbs. I used to think people looking in a mirror and seeing something else was stupid.. but I think it’s happening to me. Every time I wake up or go to bed I weigh myself, I look in the mirror non stop everyday.. I try so hard to skip meals but I have friends and family that make me eat.i just feel stuck. And idk what to do.   

On top of that. I’m losing my hair, my depression is getting worse, my ADD meds aren’t working how they are supposed to. And I’m failing some classes.. I feel like a failure ",0.41078186796470817,2.5318379942196567,2.352960146029816,94.4104989351993,85.24277456647398,5.0293885001521135,18.931852753270466,6.339386263674448,-0.07213757225433515,635,17,141,6,19,211,99,173,0.202,0.72,0.078,-0.9701,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,6,6,10,1,0,6,0,14,7,5,3,1,28,38,15,0,1,6,0,4,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,6,8,4,1,7,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,3,13,25,4,15,35,3,15,0,4,7,0,5,8,0,2,7,87,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162879477284154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109819469337825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046897105680605,0.10651367813915652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742807013570764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24039985635644345,0.0,0.12894024816452415,0.09108926542704962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19701937522138774,0.0,0.06661585708898407,0.0,0.0724637657001579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275183939157114,0.0,0.11421901910063052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007315801698945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229227539830985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5353584836720626,0.14264496049737488,0.13918626209554855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511026733826721,0.1292695860697126,0.0,0.0,0.14162879477284154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177290353639397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679118078588027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200462032755585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279344810462735,0.0,0.0,0.20320921298109496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981592205087761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20365057303804168,0.1065995007065162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470834758693684,0.32679903100748303,0.0,0.0,0.07434891984233534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656720978667694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101229801560433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564964040182336,0.0,0.12993801439106545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,consumerofmemes,2018/01/24,"I wish I would stop being a bitch I’m a 13 year old boy with a good relationship with my parents, mostly. Whenever they or anybody else yells at me, I burst into tears. I’ve always been sensitive, and I tend to cry easily. I do have really bad anxiety and depression, but they fact that I cry so often really only fuels my depression and self loathing. I just wish someone would listen to my problems because when I try to talk to friends, they tell me to man up and to quit being such a bitch, which is what I’m trying to do, but I can’t stop being so emotional. My other emotions are also very easily triggered. I get angry over stupid things easily, and I hate it. Why can’t I just be a man?",3.5389510489510485,4.374906426573428,5.582804195804198,80.506513986014,72.14685314685316,9.076643356643356,25.48881118881119,9.3871,2.0755404195804195,541,16,110,12,10,189,89,143,0.311,0.563,0.126,-0.9871,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,8,10,4,0,5,0,14,0,0,1,1,24,22,12,0,5,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,4,6,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,2,21,2,13,15,1,9,0,2,0,0,13,4,2,3,5,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200751320263102,0.12493706890419295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148645602594232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536921970114434,0.09153022265238912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298660843459835,0.0,0.0,0.2586484481430579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543129976322473,0.3377977313496324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600574097286935,0.0,0.07844732888292566,0.0,0.0,0.1259389387496586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148242324875693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755747051925076,0.0,0.0,0.11419606096859534,0.0,0.0,0.16672412706909245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436735485259552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970331492978654,0.0,0.0,0.19238024016022515,0.0,0.0,0.16120521842489766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663949819803324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722185278398235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25106473011401353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206851148679722,0.1312379709036487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975318028866867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20388438048740964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123889713601292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548728162048526,0.0,0.3453308448770586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133249148524032,0.0,0.0,0.09669186337489978
mentalhealth,Interquestions,2018/01/24,"Serious: I have a issue where I cannot control laughter at inappropriate times, what is going on? I dont laugh because I am a bad person. At a funeral, for example, when they do their speeches and there is a moment of silence I have to try extremely hard not to laugh because the idea pops up in my head that it would be a horrible time to laugh and then that leads down a spiral until it becomes very hard to control.

I excuse myself and go to the bathroom and jump a jolly jig and clack me feet together in mid air and laugh, and proceed to do a little tap dance and then come back when I can control myself. I like to do things like that secretly, it was always a part of my personality. But the laughing at bad times thing is really straining my relations, people think I am crazy",10.129514767932493,6.036818702531647,10.363544303797473,67.66362869198313,61.341772151898745,13.318143459915614,40.89029535864979,10.864195022040775,4.25888270042194,617,23,121,11,6,210,95,158,0.219,0.705,0.076,-0.969,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,4,5,11,0,1,12,0,16,2,2,4,0,19,20,14,1,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,9,9,0,3,3,1,0,6,3,4,0,0,1,3,17,7,19,17,1,29,0,0,0,0,6,12,0,0,13,91,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282560472620342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852342410772965,0.2573993564636073,0.1879234828441754,0.17023448369577665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327771533578307,0.0,0.0,0.5186401936449818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806498324922515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520156194358907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761566467977733,0.0,0.15819114655389846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400423893047515,0.0,0.16088113396085774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060911948687633,0.15448783373414693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691758321564576,0.0,0.10686061755230504,0.2691765667313973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874542996199287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20480628716290197,0.0987660869555763,0.0,0.0,0.2696391795127369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465030502610977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718086875490905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949596705546301,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dksoum,2018/01/24,"BRAIN DAMAGE ANTI DEPRESSANT LIFE MISERABLE my mental health right now is very bad. I cant concentrate, my mood is low my memory is bad. I am on Effexor 150 mg and resperidone 0.5 mg for about 2 months now but I still don't find any benefit from them. I was on sertraline and resperidone before and they worked for about a month and half and then it stopped working last august. Since then my life is really miserable I cant do anything! I pass time by watching movies and playing Red Crucible all day everyday since AUGUST. I have tried going to fitness but whatever I DO I DONT FEEL ANY ENJOYMENT. I seen pyschiatrists and therapists but don't feel like I am being helped the psychiatrist who prescribed me sertraline helped me with that medicine but it stopped working and when I asked to switch medications he would not. So I left him. I went to emergency again and the psychiatrist there prescribed me Effexor and resperidone and its still not HELPING me. I THINK I might have brain damage or something! so I went to emergency today again and asked for MRI but they didn't think its necessary. I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO MY THINKING JUST DOESNT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need help but I am NOT GETTING ANY!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO! THANKS",2.528386018237086,5.344256621276597,3.3495972644376906,85.99625,82.78723404255321,7.612462006079028,24.988601823708205,8.527137837955566,2.1510942249240133,986,39,186,25,28,312,131,235,0.226,0.735,0.039,-0.9924,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,3,4,13,14,0,2,3,0,26,7,2,0,1,37,41,24,0,2,11,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,8,13,0,2,7,1,0,4,11,8,0,1,5,5,35,5,15,33,1,30,0,6,3,0,13,6,0,2,21,124,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301438303703661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283294742028116,0.0,0.2109240832552372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883831326918847,0.0,0.0,0.0959929282048114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518663456179467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275306217569573,0.0,0.09716301386264227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644247587306312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423820792431496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408016443170987,0.08059142529819123,0.0,0.0,0.1031062179229812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058938524150921275,0.0,0.06411247398769437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991166364438237,0.0,0.0,0.30245643042905185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061997378651135214,0.0919551366724083,0.0,0.0,0.12256830193660127,0.0,0.15936195727519356,0.05511322586565125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364412042665167,0.11368586041369258,0.11967349184231875,0.0,0.0,0.18008759460909354,0.0,0.0,0.08364712202531005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238314096919406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226891974719203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633905040752548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866350536667133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684658340226928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018028652424906,0.18862827925413306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860083737416006,0.10386021257398563,0.0,0.13098100529608042,0.0,0.2168521140072216,0.0,0.0,0.06578036820676174,0.0,0.10693060821517447,0.0,0.0,0.07659052675513264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307999368643577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915184145326396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285078446057291,0.0,0.0,0.08013692642604534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OrangePear21,2018/01/24,"I think my job is literally killing me Hey Reddit, wanted to make a post here because I'm honestly not sure what to do. I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life which already makes everyday tasks much harder but I think the stresses of work are starting to cause some health effects and I'm not sure how much more I can take. I work an extremely stressful job and I've noticed a few changes that have happened to me over the last year. 


First off, my memory is complete trash at times. I'll be in the middle of doing something, and I'll completely forget what it is k was doing. Another weird issue is replacing random words in a sentence with words that are completely out of context. On top of this, I find that I get alot of numbness and that pins and needles sort of feeling. I'm going to the doctor soon and possibly to a neurologist but I feel like my high stress job is making these ten times worse. I feel like it takes me 10 times more effort to do any given task than it should, almost like my brain isn't functioning effeciently. Now I could quit my job but my anxiety and depression will make it extremely hard to find another. I feel like there are so many jobs / fields I'd prefer doing but being as anxious and depressed as I am makes them impossible to persue. I've been on medications, went to therapy, even went on disability for 2 years to focus on getting better but I couldn't seem to progress much. 


Has anyone else felt like this or been in this situation? I feel like my choice is to continue with this job, feeling like my brain is slowly and slowly deteriorating or quit which would be a huge relief but then I'd be financially unstable. Really not sure what to do at this point, but I feel like my brain is slipping and it's a scary thing.",5.530426136363636,6.019732099431818,6.3051136363636395,78.35579545454544,67.49431818181819,9.695454545454542,30.488636363636363,9.688023934748609,2.700285227272727,1417,51,277,29,22,467,186,352,0.16899999999999998,0.715,0.116,-0.9662,6,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,10,7,24,1,3,12,0,34,8,3,8,3,65,64,25,1,6,12,0,9,8,0,3,5,0,0,0,21,14,0,0,15,0,0,3,5,10,0,2,7,9,28,14,40,48,9,34,0,4,0,0,2,17,0,9,21,176,49,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915351301411524,0.0,0.0762093156614591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04696309938118269,0.14483065077035362,0.10566126718626227,0.07801802857906365,0.0,0.0482882869968445,0.07076002749060163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209827334666857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107786843751836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312810597810967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709435395411031,0.07305621596491922,0.0,0.21722397006633493,0.0,0.0,0.0551387097746665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844356904883807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068573278895691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057690683914471276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045613411869398116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244431319125807,0.29601843321312105,0.06630833293200586,0.0,0.12623899284223447,0.058742314680472474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216189361128382,0.0,0.039248332001064236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061069440477082675,0.0,0.061864104620879184,0.0,0.0,0.07340744308850085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296557478400488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208059207185041,0.4111877609340209,0.0,0.07640454599956524,0.0,0.0,0.05629303486267962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877904889988122,0.2699134258135044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304900936982611,0.07001589805169585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957058261907444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230091536029194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862515256387954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528392654293823,0.07785465951015344,0.06614029317671823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690740635072105,0.0,0.0,0.04424153958152481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286953820241498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762621980099714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531656840942469,0.0,0.0,0.04888095185365464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373236424025279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952644121204925,0.0,0.10384889864582557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897601296205373,0.0,0.045880328150630485,0.08850158933004383,0.0,0.0,0.12080814714902953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040733317620574735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803843622642372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055285772090476,0.0,0.07037793687788554,0.04905817071601351,0.0,0.0,0.08894462128021519
mentalhealth,theniceguy1990,2018/01/24,"Whats the diffrence between a psychologist and a counselor ( 27 m) from USA I'm looking to deal with my anxiety and depression issues. But I'm not completely sure who to go to. I've looked stuff up on my health insurance website on what's covered. And I see two different kinds ones that specialize in different kinds of counseling and ones that just says psychology.
Not sure what the difference is and I'm not sure on which one actually go and see
",4.382216748768474,6.284197172413794,5.533004926108372,77.5303448275862,71.52873563218391,10.488669950738917,33.118226600985224,10.608840637214634,3.9620226600985218,362,18,69,12,7,120,57,87,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.8731,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,15,10,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,5,3,6,12,10,0,7,0,1,4,0,3,5,0,0,0,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.14969017113698654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734579767889095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608304267729734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814221911704565,0.13211781073816647,0.0,0.0,0.4807914566898645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435440436700095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305038154810034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601032203963148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194719682125997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576242309285892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118307213584431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198486551236315,0.0,0.0,0.24446991505941465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755991428002603,0.0,0.0,0.4337153776167853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984340321623266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrgoodcat1990,2018/01/24,"Anyone feel ssri has oblilerated any desire to be in an intimate relationship I have an incling somewhere in the background , I have been single for a few years but since I took an SSRI things feel different 

I don't even get that holy shit she is hot 

I can appreciate someone is very hot but I guess I don't even care .

Emotions are dead as a dodo 

I don't know how to explain it , and maybe I'm making it sound more serious 

But things aren't the same since taking an ssri

Emotional blunting is noted as a side effect

I mean wtf exactly do you mean emotional blunting 

To what extent and how is this going to effect my life ?",1.9197252747252733,4.245954769841273,4.016984126984127,83.52587912087914,80.66666666666667,6.734065934065933,23.184371184371184,7.882392219407189,1.4121411477411483,495,17,95,9,13,169,79,126,0.16399999999999998,0.7659999999999999,0.07,-0.9449,1,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,4,3,1,0,9,0,16,2,1,5,1,20,30,9,1,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,5,12,1,9,27,5,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,1,66,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275862047557908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594040211653313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690575460480778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323943869780548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5595523905144496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903602893971566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768021038294798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663052142778904,0.0,0.09423542804291117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266186651592325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112656479064496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171187237328139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068155782374332,0.0,0.1665815848977444,0.3612382362551248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802125742064753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020480435562893,0.27432468404619925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049293456675782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467084480697055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031776341000453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422449845418104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681320500837818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677822510047598
mentalhealth,_TheInverse_,2018/01/25,"Drained of All Motivation In the past two months, my motivation has gone on vacation. Despite the fact that I'm a student at a really good university, maintain good grades, have a job and play in a band on the side, most of it doesn't seem to matter to me. This really came to a head after a lot of self-reflection, when I realized how much I've actually fucked up. I sunk down the lowest I ever had, and didn't leave my apartment for four days. Couldn't even feel the motivation to feed myself properly.

How the hell do I get out of this?",4.539233766233767,4.927068845454546,6.20038961038961,78.59772727272731,69.63636363636364,10.285714285714286,28.441558441558442,10.290406445055957,2.662701298701298,423,14,90,11,7,146,77,110,0.133,0.7170000000000001,0.15,-0.0103,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,5,5,2,0,12,0,7,3,1,5,3,19,14,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,6,2,0,2,3,2,0,2,4,1,8,3,18,9,4,18,1,0,0,1,1,10,2,3,6,62,12,6,0.0,0.0,0.22619936878295704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26511276707448395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948918435677652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309901080113048,0.20967266892270026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172029755324878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142915813975619,0.12110379465864925,0.0,0.0,0.3888388194996004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378894742418031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300216715234907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24543839738229264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19706459147783675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850172819246682,0.0,0.17039666280997764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127542198644948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29698878766816017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110182885654991,0.2418136843578021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264309203894486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,johnsgurl,2018/01/25,"Just tired... I'm not sure what's going on. I'm exceedingly tired all the time. I have a diagnosis of PTSD and chronic major depressive disorder. I'm on meds. I'm not suicidal. I love my life. But I just don't have an interest in anything anymore. I spend all day in bed. I was a high libido individual and I'm not interested in sex anymore. I just feel despondent. Overall, I'm just so tired. It's like my soul is tired. There's a heaviness in my chest that makes me want to sleep. I'm on citalopram. 30mg. I have teenage boys that are annoyed with my total lack of interest in anything. I'm not getting things done.  I just let everything go. I just don't care. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be this way.",-0.8674331550802137,1.273687143790852,2.161488413547236,91.95260695187166,95.86274509803923,5.919073083778964,21.333630421865717,7.348242739294969,0.934728104575163,555,22,128,12,22,195,84,153,0.246,0.695,0.059,-0.9782,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,1,0,5,0,14,10,2,1,4,24,32,4,1,3,11,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,1,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,8,2,0,0,2,1,16,7,14,28,5,14,1,1,0,2,2,9,0,0,3,75,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865372244282072,0.0,0.0,0.23776170325215096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728979481174936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316677139092966,0.0,0.1244258870964555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655672692139251,0.0,0.0,0.14783594435283376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983415133243334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304490204262074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547602590839207,0.0,0.16420345834773314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263323444597432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939316134457927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147723343932464,0.10203858502899556,0.07057739098928449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038362018868335,0.0,0.0964302648558957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046597688250738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688696748988946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456746525117484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580192231425597,0.0,0.13615479574840053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597488821000216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423761616975461,0.6641564924159803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704162006959599,0.1146681129149842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,buswithsquarewheels,2018/01/25,"Ex-anorexic, the curvy strong fitness/bubble butt trend is killing me Hi guys, I dunno if this is the right place but I don't know where the hell to express myself and I need to know if anyone relates.

I'm an ex anorexic, my anorexia was mild for about 2.5 years (but with prior history over 7 years) compared to a lot of people and I overcame it myself. I was bullied as a kid for being chubby and wanted to be thin, get rid of my thighs and love handles for so long. I did that. In a messed up way. I realised I was harming myself and worked through a series of issues... I'm now about 8 pounds into my recommended weight range. So still on the low end but ok. 

Now I've noticed its basically undesirable to be thin, to be slim. It's not enough. NO. It has to be the right kind of thin. It has to be Kardashian thin - a tiny stick waist, long arms and legs but then huge flaring glutes and hips and a protruding muscular butt like a bustle.  

On a side note, and this event is what made me realise I have an issue. The other month I was dating a guy I met on tinder and we were getting to know each other and start dating, when he completely ghosted on me. I noticed there was a new girl on his Instagram and it was apparent they were at least meeting each other and intimate. I saw photos of her. She IS that body type. Goes to the gym for 1 hour everyday and she lifts huge heavy weights, muscular back, betty boop waist but heavily muscular butt. 

My heart sank. I've been noticing this a lot, and even on reddit. I feel like I am just wrong. Not as attractive as I could be or as these girls. I'm feeling like this guy didn't really fancy me and if I looked like the other chick maybe him and other guys would. I hide these feelings through a veil of normality and happiness over my body. I feel unfeminine. 

There are loads of articles online, that keep popping up even on here saying how a woman should be strong and have curves. I just don't have either. 

Now i worry about being too thin, but also how I can be slim and muscular/curvy. Its yet another battle I can't win. I don't even have enough time in the day to devote to weightlifting etc. 

I just don't want my body. I'm so ugly. All this 'healthy strong woman' stuff is not as positive as many people think it is. And embracing curves has just become another way to shun women who don't fit the new mould. 

Please, can anybody help or relate? 

I feel myself sinking..........",1.9919724284199347,3.996236260162603,3.4272393071756824,89.54110816542948,78.67479674796748,6.3920820077766,22.077765995051255,7.423996415210882,0.7801829621774479,1888,56,396,26,46,619,249,492,0.121,0.757,0.121,-0.4529,1,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,1,0,1,5,28,21,3,0,25,1,47,19,16,3,1,69,72,46,2,10,19,1,13,4,0,2,0,2,0,11,26,26,4,1,9,2,0,0,11,7,0,0,14,17,47,14,51,45,10,56,2,1,2,4,28,29,4,8,29,268,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706446617932295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526227579952947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06176867877008432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792723374477233,0.0,0.0,0.0975634787171958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943741240643961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262175476126444,0.0,0.0,0.07053149870673288,0.0,0.0,0.056971343194646785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824212851117028,0.1825555911432066,0.09852132995775298,0.17504121769027664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233342489366678,0.1262187902997386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230695688599734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498779718147299,0.0,0.09403850204603736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046821335330436,0.059211765745984364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699611481019068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440591763110425,0.0,0.07851975702934685,0.0977340086371189,0.09199146855045932,0.14564640294201536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172631881680715,0.0,0.0,0.15635446010704326,0.07418250643365494,0.0,0.0,0.15020530777399707,0.07972939130370175,0.08358849231575198,0.0,0.08956187482560286,0.08874839330139789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051134241467398,0.0,0.0,0.06550224490400106,0.0,0.17063670226165656,0.0,0.0,0.08655345822976533,0.0,0.3017235914136596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248627140553152,0.0,0.0922954470045652,0.0969696879947032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056592221771788125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508820368428987,0.0,0.07025071390266659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252679481509987,0.0,0.07054763492767457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112701350778903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660406054916204,0.0,0.0,0.05151117795602008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042092551972081,0.14023876360275114,0.0,0.21514619268862928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064311839933175,0.08971253674722925,0.0,0.06275348695229993,0.0965848225349906,0.0,0.11377483199069445
mentalhealth,novacwittman44,2018/01/25,"Need a strictly platonic female friend to mutually vent with I'm a 21yr old maintenance worker who's secretly struggled with (suspected) BPD for as long as I can remember. The only time I made any progress in my battle against it was when I was prescribed clonazapalm because it helped me open up to strangers over the internet with similar conditions and for once and my life I could try and talk this through vs surrendering my body to science (registered organ donor).

I've tried talking to males about my issues but I guess they primarily lack the compassion and advice I'm looking for and mainly because I have a very difficult time opening up to males because it makes me feel pathetic.

I do currently have a gf of 4 years who I have no intentions on cheating on but she has discovered my venting kik account and read through my transcripts with other males and females from all over the globe about coping mechanisms and just to have someone there to talk to but she took it as I was being scandalous so I deleted everything and decided I'm good on my own.

I tried venting to her but she has limited knowledge in mental illness and every time I try and tell her how my brain makes me feel she cries and irrationally worries about me day and night. 

If I could just have one or two penpal type friends it could help me drastically but it still feels adulterous discreetly conversing with others so I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

",7.304217032967031,7.686042304029303,7.186719322344327,73.92755151098903,63.688644688644686,10.927564102564103,37.94162087912088,10.686352973137794,4.203014835164836,1171,57,206,28,16,373,160,273,0.151,0.7829999999999999,0.067,-0.9763,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,11,7,2,1,8,0,18,4,2,5,1,53,32,27,0,6,10,0,3,0,3,0,2,0,0,3,12,21,0,1,9,1,1,1,2,4,0,2,5,4,35,3,39,23,4,23,0,0,1,0,23,11,0,3,11,147,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127220983893128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439443106445586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307702597760604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22695647485171794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785067713070304,0.15630363482138812,0.13854021358189236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297258918323798,0.0,0.13632153676828865,0.0800362966146072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104562297764407,0.0,0.11153595312588138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825091903862906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917636475386032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409187536426934,0.0,0.0,0.13671366532123894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636751674008432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953149683153956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820387264342559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765775968824217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982742589892054,0.10421543105020037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742944767326402,0.1656796981457487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506683530355636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202094962282513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646244536914935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022543104480347,0.13216585674564008,0.08409553952263409,0.0943860752158812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413678318292085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058473210152367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515223786287158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910897510769832,0.0,0.0,0.12973960938720658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992483514601686,0.10847166607872692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21709672021090212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378832205431475,0.3370317033495607,0.0,0.12123079261544513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239813639159852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260328227933508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991839133380274
mentalhealth,MrKite6,2018/01/25,"Do I mention my depression’s been holding me back? A film festival wants to feature my college thesis film on their website and interview me live on the internet. I’m extremely worried though, because I made that film almost 2 years ago and, since then, my depression has developed and I’ve been too busy fighting that to make any more films. I know they’re gonna ask what I’ve been up to in the interview and I don’t know what to say 😰 do I mention I’ve been dealing with mental stuff? Do I just answer very vaguely with something like “I’ve been doing stuff,” (which I don’t like doing, for reasons I’m not sure of yet). 

I was recently in another film festival where I was asked, in front of a crowd, what I’ve been up to and what my plans are for what to do next. I ultimately lied and said I was working on a film and I felt really bad about that answer. I realize one of the reasons I said that was because a lot of my family was there, and I worry about “using depression as an excuse” in front of them. My family is also going to be watching this interview, so I’m just really anxious and worried.",4.125961820851689,4.701493872246697,5.750766519823793,80.78656093979444,70.62995594713657,9.401350954478707,30.111306901615272,9.558583805096642,2.667804346549193,867,34,177,19,15,297,116,227,0.131,0.8109999999999999,0.058,-0.9441,0,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,2,2,12,10,1,0,8,0,23,0,0,5,1,30,39,14,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,13,11,0,1,8,6,0,3,3,5,0,1,15,5,25,5,28,22,2,20,0,3,1,0,16,10,0,2,9,121,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154047541012,0.0,0.12600031196699074,0.0,0.0,0.10062600035245063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556854041179351,0.13194345727397835,0.0,0.14215179405282144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352676486630279,0.0,0.0,0.0967553056839397,0.10506257984433938,0.15340928735953546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129724940301186,0.3251309208842008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372421670731901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208162864226214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151194293352403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830547250380731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229481134589612,0.0,0.11110996874819026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697594814202044,0.0,0.11906314566052308,0.08399233081724701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268067858965012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382135963516478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526549064118025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121951137997192,0.25874786630117913,0.12424169141452596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393858014286685,0.10006486240418416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408766404624258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686988397026547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28808990342855084,0.0,0.0,0.1185930440401063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362708403827495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867649778475988,0.0,0.103822716278813,0.07421764280572903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916055518352362,0.38335863709426543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103022927270112
mentalhealth,rosessxo,2018/01/25,"Getting help with mental health just wondering what it’s like to go and see a professional psychiatrist about mental health?? I’m 16 years old and about to try and get help to see what’s going on. I have a lot happening just now mentally and wondering what’s it’s like speaking to professionals? Do they help, this is the first time I’ve accepted help just want to understand what I’m letting myself in for",4.6065416666666685,6.161037237500004,5.540000000000003,79.09166666666668,70.375,9.833333333333336,28.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,2.8607083333333336,329,12,64,9,6,108,50,80,0.0,0.759,0.241,0.9497,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,14,17,4,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,3,11,16,1,9,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,7,38,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716984447296304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850605525806445,0.0,0.1832984493612024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426039422834832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428291039050542,0.0,0.0,0.4323635577345729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490188543977186,0.0,0.1575694745831611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370996550296809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875441696133184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921792119435886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570107506520591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403349099445643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948668735407173,0.0,0.0,0.16788000401161612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511683142338682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34976471760124106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384779638049822
mentalhealth,PsychoticPsyduck,2018/01/25,"Can someone tell me to go to my therapy group today...because....i really dont want to go Lots of body


Update: I'm sitting in group....still not sure if I want to be here",0.9034234234234226,1.9824186216216224,3.890270270270271,89.1382882882883,79.0,7.095495495495496,23.144144144144143,7.793537801064563,0.9838900900900902,127,4,30,2,3,46,29,37,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.452,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,6,8,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,6,7,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349030268698723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533604974669608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427033960190947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563279587768456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931512128883672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554634005100072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841639960374636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635278263083162,0.0,0.3447961539538796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857905825063097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35566979710925994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alumipen,2018/01/25,"A lot of horrible things happened and now everything/everyone feels unreal I’m 24 (female) and for the last couple months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I failed exams, my mother got diagnosed with cancer and had to have massive life altering surgery, my girlfriend cheated on me repeatedly then almost died of a drug overdose. There was a period where I was so stressed my hair fell out and my weight dropped to about 95lb, but then past that something seems to have cracked.  I am doing ten hour days of studying to retake my exams, and also I live in a non English speaking country by myself. Now, the only thing I feel from time to time is frustration. I don’t feel sad or lonely or stressed - just angry and overdrawn.

What’s most worrying me is I kind of worry I’m losing it. Everywhere i go I feel like it’s like it’s a movie scene or made of modeling clay , and the people around me aren’t real people, they’re just mannequins. I have no urge to reach out to friends or see anyone other than my girlfriend, and even she drives me insane most of the time.  I’ve smoked a fair bit of hash/weed, but recently I’m starting to have auditory hallucinations. Voices approaching me, music, clocks ticking that aren’t there. The obvious thing to do here is stop smoking weed, but even still I don’t like that this symptom emerged at all. I have had anxiety/dépressions issues and severe dissociation in the past but this is...not the same. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Should I be worried?",4.006907216494845,6.146609786941582,4.723483161512032,81.92967835051547,73.12371134020619,7.680054982817872,27.447560137457053,8.488131031819089,2.089695972508592,1212,46,222,22,25,389,174,291,0.207,0.725,0.068,-0.9914,2,2,3,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,2,15,16,2,2,13,0,24,7,1,1,2,40,40,21,1,2,10,1,6,4,3,1,5,2,0,0,15,13,1,1,5,0,0,6,5,10,0,1,7,10,26,6,29,30,6,35,0,4,1,0,6,8,0,9,24,146,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266278843815995,0.0,0.0,0.08997442634948667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157339600689735,0.0,0.09258636991146237,0.10015799840347338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573795733769236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122832080504602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983029962380043,0.12449047941970548,0.0,0.07255981969736519,0.0,0.0,0.11419556090490555,0.11676790247330332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047619946897074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486239511891673,0.0,0.0,0.10750838938099204,0.10111698055642784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275543025864804,0.08037736301282374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692515944928582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278843642804959,0.0,0.08998474500756144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949246470099077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079995750551047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174314961183623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716213797017097,0.0,0.091710890753757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946933462802168,0.21986734920349496,0.0,0.09934863419804348,0.0,0.0,0.12587021882429916,0.0,0.09565221248542168,0.0,0.1064599426852808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980462817504126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556913412153509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21480757677392928,0.15600091678061426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806132469894266,0.0,0.0,0.1110903233215875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965612250113368,0.10242512886160587,0.0,0.12710458608764028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661590652751912,0.0,0.0,0.0796353518037486,0.0,0.08985085103116545,0.09406362786112694,0.2577602799914831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694125524494353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424048231010765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968169385853049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700720462852267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427789372315796,0.0,0.0,0.2460246473282885,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bereal511,2018/01/25,"A letter to my old self (and to you) I'm writing this because as I'm reading back on these posts, it reminds me of where I used to be six years ago, and that lonely, hopelessness that used to gnaw at me what felt like forever.  I don't want to write this as any authority or someone who's 'made it'.  Life still has its challenges and I'm not one to think of myself as 'crushing it' or having it all put together.  Just want to put that out there; if that's the vibe you're getting from me, don't read further and just move my post in the trash.  I know I wouldn't really want to read anything like myself.

It may or may not get better.  But I've learned, and continue to humbly learn, that you start to see the pattern.  You start to see the game that you're set up in your mind.  Some days, it's claustrophobic and you just want to run out and scream.  Other days, it's so deadening that you want to sit on the floor and cry until there's no tears left and all the joy in the world has evaporated into the dark chasm.  Your dreams will feel like they're just holographic films playing in a make believe world, while the nightmares and terrors start caving in.

But I somehow fought them. I don't know how, honestly.  I can't tell you a twelve step program, or a book that gives you the answers, or something to tell yourself.  You don't.  This is the terrible game that's set up.  You can't trust your mind.  But fucking hell, you fight it, somehow, with everything that you have.  Even in the pit of hell, you look for something, anything, you find that piece of brilliant light that's buried in the middle of the black flames, and you find your way out.

You can do this, even on the days you feel like you can't.  Especially on the days that feel like you can't.  You take out that sheet of paper that has your goals or your dreams - maybe shit went down and they're not real or they seem so far in the distance like climbing the range of a mountain and all you have left is a ragged jacket and some biscuits.  You feel like you have nothing.  The world tells you to march on, like you're just walking up a hill, like what you're seeing doesn't matter.  It's shit.  You feel like shit.
But your truth, the truth that it hurts and you're in pain, and the mountains are real, and the ice is cold and bitter.  That's real.  You know it.  You can feel it in your bones.  And I know it; it is real, those moments are real.  Terror can be real some days, and it can crush you.

But I know, somewhere inside you, and somewhere inside me, there's a voice that keeps you here.  You think it's weakness, that if you were really courageous, you would end the nightmare and leave this world behind because there's nothing left in it.  The voice that tells you to stop and let go of the noose and go back to the humdrum, you think that's just the fear.  It's not.  What keeps you alive, is you, is the real you.  If you post here, if you write anything to reach out, you're reaching out to the world and grabbing that tiny light in the darkness.  Maybe you don't post, or you're anonymous, or you think no one cares.  But that voice tells you, you're alive, stay alive!

I lived the nightmares for years.  For years.  And I look back, and I don't even recognize who I used to be.  I don't know how to tell you, that something can change and you can get better.  I can't say that without feeling like I'm letting you all down, because I know my old self would never believe that.  I couldn't then.  And maybe I can't really now - it doesn't feel like I need to get better anymore.  Life is so beautiful, even in the muck and the rain, and the dark clouds that roll into my mind.  The voices are still alive and well, but I've learned them.  I've learned their terrible tricks and well conceived plans.  And I know they're not me.  And wow, what a life to live, my friends.  I don't know the secret to living with demons, but somehow, that voice that tells you to stay alive.  It's right.  I've been given so much more than I can ever possibly imagine.  And of course, I have my goals and dreams, some of them unfulfilled, others just waiting and incubating.  They're hatching, little chicks that need tender love.  The voices come and they try to steal them away, to pull them into the black pit.  But today, I gave those baby chicks love and they're growing.  They're bigger than the pit; they're so big and wide and beautiful, that they can't even fit in the pit.  The pit looks like a tiny crack in the earth now, some moment in time that has no place anymore.
I don't know if you can do that; I'm not going to tell you that that's going to be you.  But I want to believe that, I have so much hope that there's a way to move forward for everyone here.  You're here, you're reading this.  You want it too, I know you do.  I was there, sitting on my computer, in tears trying to figure out a way to throw myself in front of a train.  I can remember that moment, and a friend calls who was supposed to meet with me.  And then, I get some help, and I'm in the hospital.  I remember those events, like dreams far away.  Like a nightmare I once remembered as a little boy.

Now I have more than I can even believe.  It's unreal.  I don't say that to boast.  It's little things, small things, like an espresso in the morning, or looking out the window and realizing I have a place to stay away from the cold.  It's going on a drive with the woman I love, and singing show tunes.  It's laughing because I said something silly that doesn't make sense, and realizing it's all a great big joke.  Not one I would ever trade in for the world.  A joke with beauty, and laughter, and light.

And I've lost things.  Good friends, people I wish I'd connected more with, relationships that never quite worked out.  I've had my regrets, and maybe I revisit them for old time's sake.  But they don't own me anymore.  Who I was, I give love to that person.  I know they did the best they could do.  I know you, in your own way, even in your nightmares and pain.  You are doing the best you can.  It's so hard to hear that, and know that, and believe it's true.  I know.  It's almost like slicing your gut open to hear that, and let that in.  But there's love there.  If you read this, if you can feel it in your bones, there is love there.  It will keep you alive.  It will keep you above the water, the terrible blue depths of the drowning ocean.

And one day, you'll learn to swim that ocean, and dive right in.
Good day to you, and may all your dreams, hopes, and goals be fulfilled, in one way or another, in the form appropriate for you.  May love reach you, from wherever it's meant to come.",2.8740729444110333,4.074940809734517,3.380652117879542,94.27336068390757,74.16224188790561,6.416461895351834,22.23584500386631,6.644369507269372,0.2377447890712259,5102,123,1170,39,103,1590,398,1356,0.081,0.762,0.157,0.9991,0,3,4,0,1,1,199.0,0,75,13,14,54,81,10,3,75,0,91,23,6,8,13,247,193,107,1,26,45,0,12,17,3,12,7,13,1,7,105,81,2,6,47,20,1,23,36,26,2,6,16,41,153,55,136,155,23,169,3,5,10,8,138,87,6,35,62,747,258,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03046370378423648,0.0,0.03441294441654795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023370302652644413,0.03603612396202728,0.0,0.0,0.10224658109800758,0.0,0.0,0.0848417559780701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686497690418333,0.07927682649023471,0.0,0.08379765409261804,0.0,0.0,0.1935955912058401,0.0721307472544049,0.09118275558289536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03509189501834601,0.0,0.03503879348818947,0.0,0.03635505109871898,0.05920715069818031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027438741315838327,0.0,0.037749831738486415,0.1551442098775614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03043839367635104,0.0,0.0,0.1588905924263336,0.062172678612933185,0.0,0.032838528846739934,0.03088626759284872,0.0,0.0,0.03867170839077984,0.1563899737369331,0.17185933659533725,0.03299709408945445,0.0,0.06282045921505221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965409134631295,0.031771145204908965,0.08977502102210913,0.06593468626794617,0.09765596921440248,0.05764974300463933,0.0,0.037889032218646826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030785507502175312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746676872660498,0.0,0.023035046085061992,0.0,0.0,0.06826709775164014,0.0,0.0,0.03678989818586387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122185595985645,0.0,0.0,0.2833027829541091,0.0,0.0,0.03638901216388004,0.11201744911181932,0.10542579167925144,0.07282192727393562,0.2854243413569823,0.10333236051856076,0.09103837408730116,0.0,0.1154363449815233,0.0,0.037514940591173364,0.0,0.21711886580539685,0.032518279913055594,0.045879623101051606,0.0,0.13810250742684865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410067779405499,0.0,0.0,0.07305200196065159,0.05052645634756893,0.05096443961869212,0.0530109094953107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595089682191761,0.0,0.10818513845766946,0.03659905083230705,0.11643767163264365,0.0,0.07313645815664067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023825306263605024,0.030007379183552726,0.07181106148099424,0.0,0.0,0.03874290623160837,0.13165388906967074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909536587142825,0.0,0.036552853129057095,0.17187829556519235,0.2738150827711159,0.0660479088984572,0.0,0.0,0.03689660840987233,0.11679115657682144,0.05869736577345525,0.03269027730992332,0.05465901622317943,0.0,0.0,0.08215661629735671,0.031285842603717584,0.07170321510682702,0.0,0.1058297212385637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029118504532382062,0.1058276088579691,0.0,0.0,0.07297405753592409,0.1098898985953396,0.0548900375213459,0.028731815021430882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02583922508816771,0.0,0.24030170081344102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849444577624084,0.08808230100383475,0.0,0.0,0.04007860070253765,0.0,0.032575290062719184,0.0,0.0,0.04666500390766209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890445004286609,0.0,0.0,0.1418911829431745,0.136392081109343,0.0,0.0,0.061798968108199334,0.03185795917658061,0.0,0.0,0.0395196169198928,0.03312794379464164,0.0,0.02501911871757149,0.0,0.0,0.07323862643173744,0.0,0.0,0.0663924255223778
mentalhealth,mguzz,2018/01/25,"Need advice to help combat anxiety this week Overall have a stressful week this week, have an interview tomorrow, a lot of things coming up that I'm in charge of. My anxiety is currently so bad I can barely sleep. My chest actually feels tight and i have chest pain whenever the anxiety is the worst. 

Is there anything simple I can do to improve my mental state? Have tried deep breathing and that really helps the tightness and chest pain but I cannot do that at work or school. 

Does anyone have any little tricks they do or make themselves think to get rid of the anxiety temporarily? ",4.6799099099099095,6.696893747747751,5.165945945945946,79.99234234234235,70.98198198198199,8.897297297297296,27.64864864864865,9.444778638647367,2.587043243243244,470,17,85,11,9,150,73,111,0.183,0.767,0.05,-0.8878,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,2,6,1,1,7,0,14,7,5,1,0,14,21,7,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,3,8,0,9,21,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,5,54,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.16025815707702526,0.0,0.0,0.16047701375511944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167740979383403,0.0,0.5025212045363451,0.0,0.0,0.11482868222597845,0.0,0.13514170370859238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371195152658766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146374844867046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371283201231058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303618601518997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857998457354312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22015070318058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645947928319439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396166948886484,0.0,0.0,0.10962026351128648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549836335937704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176942448723005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494901341170505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520558930009123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620264934120985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434180347502828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811712468997172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910259918676828,0.10522759772300204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114967752425996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951898440295714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955644799433775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YungWannabeOptimist,2018/01/25,"‘The Inside’ “You are an important person. Together we can work out what’s been going on in your life,” says a laminated poster haphazardly tacked to the white bedroom wall beside me, “whatever it is we know you can get through this.”

Between the poster, the rubberised coat hook and the whirring of the doors to ensure any sharp object is promptly hidden in the jam, there’s no mistaking the nature of where I now stand. It is the path not so rarely taken, or forgotten, but so often ignored. Mental health, after all, remains as taboo as ever despite ongoing narratives attempting, in vain, to suggest otherwise.

Consider that in each calendar year, approximately one in five individuals will experience some form of mental illness. Or consider that every day, an approximate of six people in Australia will take their own lives, and a further thirty will make an attempt on their own lives. Or consider, perhaps most damning of all, that suicide remains the leading cause of death for Australians between the ages of 25-44, and second leading cause of death for those aged 15-24. It’s no wonder then that mental health is spoken about in such hushed tones, if at all. Certainly it’s no great wonder that, as I lay here, nobody but my immediate family know where I am and, worse, why.

“I’ve had a mental breakdown,” I might say, “And I’ve been seriously considering committing suicide.”

The admission would be met with a deafening silence, I’m sure, with those who would hear it unlikely to know how to respond. There’s no great likelihood that they will share their own stories, perhaps their sons or brothers, wives or mothers. In reality, the greater likelihood would lie in only one word, “oh.”

Oh, but here we are. The drone of a distant light buzzing in the background, between intermittent squawks of an intercom abruptly startling all those unprepared to hear it. The pallid walls, devoid of any substance bar posters advising the reader to reach out for help, or reminding them that they matter. Which they do, and I would hope that I do, also. Fortunately, I have managed to dodge the bullet of the louder, far more traumatic mental inpatient ward the doctors speak about in ominous tones, out of sheer luck more than anything else. For once, my aversion to violence or unkind behaviour has paid off with my landing in a small, low dependency ward nestled away besides the hospital’s Emergency Room.

Still, however, all precautions have been made to ensure I have no means with which to harm myself, and the reality of my situation has no opportunity not to fully sink in. This is, naturally, assuming I have forgotten my first ride in the back of an ambulance, or the hours waiting in a hospital bed, which unsurprisingly I have not had the fortune of doing. 

Worst of all, I have not had the fortune of forgetting the apathy of Emergency Room staff when being greeted with a case of Mental Health, their beleaguered, overworked and underfunded work force regarding me with backhanded derision and subtle skepticism. They need not know that I haven’t been able to eat, the anxiety eating at my bowels. And they need not know that I haven’t been sleeping much, the anxiety and the depression corroding my mind. Likewise, they need not know that I hoped the ambulance carrying me in it would crash on the way to the hospital, causing only one fatality - me. 

They need not know because they aren’t paid to know, and they don’t care to. Not so long as they’re worked and paid what they are, far below proportion. Likewise, they need not have to care, when government funding for Mental Health admissions and subsequent treatments is criminally destitute and, frankly, disgusting. But then, it’s hard to imagine them also knowing how it feels to lie here in this hospital bed, being sucked in to the firm mattress by the weight of thoughts calling and screaming for your early demise at age 25. If they did know, I wonder, what would they say?

So, too, our politicians, and all those responsible for the funding of our Mental Health programs, what would they say if they laid where I lie?

“Oh,” they would say, “Oh.”",9.455119774713822,8.807182561569693,8.80568408733497,67.50424569359618,59.64952638700946,12.373492301503127,40.135354569725344,11.581627320754905,4.788878915993124,3279,149,545,81,37,1040,350,739,0.175,0.745,0.08,-0.9981,3,0,0,0,0,2,106.0,5,4,23,9,27,27,4,1,49,0,53,14,2,10,11,122,93,48,5,19,25,4,4,0,0,13,8,10,7,1,35,30,4,3,18,1,5,4,20,16,0,7,16,16,60,11,98,61,19,68,0,2,1,0,53,43,2,23,19,396,95,11,0.0590936011514881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451426298182997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803713503778811,0.0,0.09041288626917852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862899864654078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055520383524219966,0.04543933165518346,0.0,0.03602291077497135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060341173836363934,0.0,0.1204997295120114,0.18211621939254988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03811048405106094,0.0,0.050897232081074696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604848047888302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093501342334555,0.049365121036787835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345354541403463,0.049788907656247584,0.0,0.0,0.05780488109919232,0.055708187969802,0.0,0.029879500306239263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05026498695147563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030873967603210043,0.0,0.033584255346963625,0.0,0.0,0.1303018077765081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293625946556256,0.0,0.0,0.31406867341331385,0.1332055665796812,0.0,0.039609195212191,0.0,0.0,0.11738655922064604,0.0581952936347404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247629776167673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04173955809870378,0.0,0.0,0.1043614649234502,0.05229597745188514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055915794233038635,0.039445437637951455,0.0,0.0,0.06437025553677367,0.0,0.0,0.4764196079790084,0.0626889723373743,0.059667691470926015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04344059624323776,0.21908578240763527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293275661982903,0.12013006048400007,0.08988669307071817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040968062460155,0.05159825317902672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23496801739569895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642368361910311,0.059136277843514426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047192226213894885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292776167603004,0.0,0.05569501974123417,0.0,0.0444310337765154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046913718494979065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469057500133273,0.0,0.07196008629367305,0.0,0.0,0.05332278361753511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225346905359628,0.12906253631902873,0.0,0.06022142808095146,0.33582719023816976,0.0,0.0,0.03805434168173979
mentalhealth,SayuriThrowaway,2018/01/25,"I keep having intense episodes of... whatever this is I keep having episodes during which I have a lot of intense feelings going through my head, and I cannot calm down. I feel extremely anxious to the point I cannot step outside of my room, and when the episode ends, I feel extremely exhausted, dizzy, and sleepy, but my heart also keeps beating fast for a while. I can easily sleep for a whole day after that.

I don't know how to describe it better, and it has been happening to me more frequently these days, to the point I'm not going to my classes at all, and I'm not eating too much since I'd need to step outside to buy food.

Do you have any idea of what this could be? As for the medication I'm already taking: Levothyrox (25mcg) (for my thyroid), Brintellix (15mg) (for my depression), Risperdal (3mg) (for my anxiety).",8.792795793163894,6.1233262638036825,8.621489921121825,74.72515337423316,62.435582822085884,12.013672217353196,39.850131463628394,10.290406445055957,3.884690446976336,643,27,129,11,7,209,100,163,0.069,0.87,0.061,-0.0934,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,7,0,14,8,3,1,1,21,29,11,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,8,5,2,3,5,0,1,4,5,2,0,0,1,3,18,2,22,26,5,17,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,8,87,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821107344537612,0.13197155130708138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122236100180251,0.0,0.12624474320228346,0.18643285747746324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595243879944464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176015093093735,0.0,0.0,0.21285674955743766,0.0,0.14213699526530288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886320461378276,0.0,0.0,0.1461644066951534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503269168032057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955057619428215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875766106744757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459322992397128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693646950410383,0.0,0.0,0.19555707686627816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862947168934444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400491366388478,0.0,0.0,0.09069419283612533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029954265696407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624673489284486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131339112334386,0.12236498349130548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120065757727932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651154222566111,0.0,0.16514557865272747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407931392939775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424608056124767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Arnwold,2018/01/25,"Seeing police chases and riots on video makes me cry 20 year old male, Dutch.  
Whenever I see police chases, riots or big crowds fighting/trampling, I start crying.  
A few examples:  
A while ago I watched a video of a popular youtuber trying to get into vidcon, but his fans where trampling each other to get near him.  
I didn't like the youtuber, but that was not the reason why I started crying. The video did not shock me or sadden me, but I still started crying.  
  
Today I watched a video called ""curb your police"" in which police chase a women who stole one of their cars. First I let out a laugh, even though I didn't find it funny, then I started crying.  
Again, the video did not shock or sadden me, but it still made me cry.  
  
Prison documentaries make me cry too.
  
I have no bad experiences with police or big crowds and I think it has something to do with hormones, comparable to how pregnant women sometimes start crying when they see violence on tv.  
  
Is there something wrong with me? 
",5.152722832722834,6.274592216931223,5.376296296296296,82.41179487179487,68.62962962962963,7.296866096866098,26.178673178673183,7.321109707123232,1.3081059015059018,775,22,143,7,13,245,110,189,0.311,0.634,0.054000000000000006,-0.996,0,0,2,0,2,0,26.0,0,1,2,1,10,7,0,0,11,0,10,0,0,5,0,27,24,15,0,0,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,1,3,6,0,1,6,4,0,2,6,5,24,3,15,17,2,26,0,0,5,0,12,9,0,4,17,97,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103187328801409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632581469601621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334262211525032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8033007683483947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037724876668505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941919471919935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354958292436912,0.07775562496286867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955187613353387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347571406229983,0.0,0.04465964446616932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649693931249393,0.12203741974244105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592228720488401,0.0,0.061943634434694174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398751546722764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185323415934815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074797752907894,0.09040953148388174,0.0,0.323512018621926,0.0,0.1460046551367003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857358895369081,0.08981254716659798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664858335605442,0.0,0.0,0.06206324599287606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248577422180227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994547457273302,0.0,0.058866803703156126
mentalhealth,luckycharms4life,2018/01/25,"Seeking Help For Mother My mother, currently 50, always has great relationships with myself and sister-in-law and a pretty good relationship with my brother and I won’t comment on her marriage to my father cause it’s hard to be objective on that to be honest. 

About 7 years ago, I moved away (military family) and 5 years ago my brother moved away with his family for work. My father was in the Army so moving away was part of our upbringing. When my brother moved, my dad believes my mom’s personality changed greatly and I remember her being very strange and toxic towards me during that time. Things improved, I shouldered blame—maybe I wasn’t the beat daughter. 

I did notice all of her friendships deteriorated drastically—with her sisters specifically. 

Last June, I cancelled a trip home to see her with my son due to money and she was visiting my brother at the time. According to them, her entire demeanor changed after hearing the news and she became very angry. She upset my niece and nephew and my sister in law tried to smooth the waters which insulted my mother and led to a dramatic blow out. 

In August, they visited and I was on BC which was making me a bit crazy... so I didn’t help but the entire trip was just... insane. It was a disaster.

She had another blow out with my brother while I was visiting in October. During the trip, she was so toxic—narcissistic I felt at the time—that I became depressed and disassociated from my son (he was about 18 months). She also started talking about my brother in a demeaning, insulting, and nasty way that I’d never heard from her. It was very uncharacteristic. Once I left things improved greatly for my mental health but... communication is still hard for me. She’s still displaying those narcissistic personality traits to me and so my coping mechanism has been to avoid her as best as I can while dutifully calling regularly. 

At Christmas, she had another blow out with my brother over... him refusing to give our adult cousin a home and job (he dropped out of college and was smoking too much weed to join the military—the request was absurd on so many levels). But the crux of it is—any time she tells us what to do, we are disrespecting her and being bad children and being mean if we don’t do exactly what she says. 

Today, my brother called and told me she’d directly called him a bad father and some other things that upset him enough to call me. 

I’m not sure WHAT is going on or what to research or what direction to go. 

I live about $1500 in flights or 4 days drive from my parents. My brother lives one days drive but he’s been bearing the brunt of this so hard that he’s done. Visiting for a family sit down isn’t an easy task BUT we are all in agreement that it needs to happen. However, we need to be prepared. 

Honestly, I miss my mom. My dad and SIL think this has been going on for years and I’ve noticed it off and on but we haven’t lived near family in 7 + years. I used to call her almost every day from when my son was a few months until they visited us. I just am struggling so hard because our relationship was good but the constant commentary from her about my parenting and life choices is too much to weather. Combine that with the way she talks and treats my brother and Dad (guess I get off the lightest) have created a volatile situation. 

We all love her and want her to be happy and healthy but... we don’t know what to do of where to go. 

Additional information: she is constantly at the doctor, suffers from a back injury/pain that has her on disability, is treated for ADHD, treated for depression (I think), she’s 55, she speaks to a life coach after dropping therapists and counselors because they didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear (she had other reasons but basically they were wrong and she was right, my father even attended counseling and the counselor said my dad was right and my mom never saw him again—personal recounting, truth can’t be verified by me).

Sorry if this is all over the place. 

TLDR: 55 year old woman seems to have changed into a mean, narcissist who is pushing away all family. Not sure how to help her. ",4.782774689481457,6.2163890415617145,5.7101745852514565,78.5062468513854,69.79345088161209,8.800799096673328,29.558672804655608,9.223106411051027,2.5683435941978634,3265,126,610,66,58,1074,344,794,0.1,0.812,0.08800000000000001,-0.8555,5,2,1,0,0,0,93.0,12,0,5,3,26,30,2,4,32,0,64,7,1,6,11,109,96,63,0,6,18,34,6,0,0,1,4,6,2,5,33,53,1,3,10,1,1,21,13,13,0,1,34,14,114,17,101,52,13,105,0,4,2,1,136,42,0,9,37,429,147,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681186813065187,0.0,0.09855951149463144,0.0,0.05566826369520317,0.0,0.0,0.04445762581668323,0.046257750178935714,0.0,0.0,0.03780508156920506,0.1165880156599746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892545595096387,0.04274751218183182,0.09283550664232068,0.06777783744107804,0.0,0.0,0.06263416632430398,0.05834132369038735,0.0,0.06069305351441634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28383285687497023,0.0,0.0,0.05710922691431584,0.17642976550209608,0.0,0.0,0.12015236051479225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755847336780047,0.0,0.09576417474261273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690169365048948,0.0,0.05689084296931344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744233149238402,0.0,0.0367185892561275,0.0,0.04683941992603565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620402146248593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053377906659561665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02904499820188593,0.05332977988450651,0.1263789155576902,0.09325738177753072,0.0,0.18387412113066096,0.06124185214480615,0.0,0.04916062204248161,0.05917968081665875,0.19920129226694794,0.0,0.0,0.059092658072297466,0.12531448796965672,0.0,0.11178825655015147,0.0,0.11152843239822993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516737980528198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030552406552170442,0.04531563723016172,0.0,0.0,0.0604018536372046,0.0,0.0785338253576658,0.0,0.0,0.1472686601218999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017476699862408,0.0,0.037108695584294873,0.05636247973118439,0.055850544982062884,0.12111394170965828,0.0,0.0,0.05602457236357422,0.0,0.0,0.1953292143179604,0.08874745231504619,0.23634583890197625,0.08173436313656739,0.08244286886440766,0.08575335062257745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658578097422848,0.058335401766896514,0.059204629167020614,0.03767119099163499,0.0,0.05915477020965526,0.0,0.12345868342208854,0.060201698319036365,0.0,0.0,0.1456247402406549,0.05808275308221132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056557970106772076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571587650338467,0.0,0.17905792380541635,0.06297592385478347,0.09495207374697172,0.05288158303254768,0.04420970916643187,0.0,0.0,0.044300347421474345,0.050609692530491086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248875415283193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223170537206176,0.03934894409350334,0.0,0.08879313103788164,0.0,0.0,0.058117774523464914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479130956074174,0.0,0.0,0.08936694197876226,0.09718129815750264,0.0,0.0,0.0645476471987024,0.11080036694840477,0.07124337719855015,0.0,0.0,0.12966667922613226,0.0,0.05269557336358522,0.053121402838282095,0.0,0.03774393308844927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374283880044832,0.04801442029554733,0.0,0.13760990565345646,0.06558027112866355,0.08825412025460262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04047229674196754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078211418718819,0.0,0.17900003976248996
mentalhealth,informedbutcurious,2018/01/25,"What can you share with a psychiatrist? So. Long story short, my previous legal guardians are pretty unstable and my relationship with them has turned quite toxic. My legal guardian, C, has bipolar disorder and a history of violent outbursts, hallucinations, etc. She recently began texting about how she put a hit out on me, in vivid detail, and how badly she wants to murder me, etc. Is this something I should alert her psychiatrist to? Is this something her doctor could even act on if I emailed him the texts?
I feel badly for her as she clearly isn't doing well but I also worry for my safety. I do not want to antagonize the situation and want to know if I send the email, that something helpful can and will be done. ",4.69769696969697,6.745081503703705,5.7163636363636385,75.9381818181818,71.0,8.464646464646465,29.309764309764308,9.095868883498916,2.6844814814814817,573,23,100,12,11,189,93,135,0.145,0.718,0.13699999999999998,0.2232,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,1,7,6,2,0,6,0,15,2,0,2,1,22,23,13,1,7,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,2,2,22,2,15,16,2,11,0,0,1,0,16,5,0,2,3,79,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977957419126266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918848532713175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395556664303201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003245896371836,0.17890506663633798,0.0,0.1788709509235303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898743146526444,0.11544720791633775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883791228559176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715811489495595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096060063935716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468373194732912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778243627143958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571232077376644,0.0,0.18591077920220264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258412996538974,0.1876591464742619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964713879063593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036858590988696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190121428903234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092871764512516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715728501853035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750782391526046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caberelleno,2018/01/25,"I'm not sure what happened. I'm not sure where to post this but I thought this would be a start.

I had an even recently, where I know absolutely something happened the night before. The problem is that I recorded my actions. I don't want to go into too much detail but the jist of it is, in my head, something happened, I can vividly remember it, the next day I was losing my mind and said something to someones family about what happened.

A few days later, I was thinking about what happened and I was kind of conflicted so I check all of my interactions for that night. I looked and nothing added up. It was like nothing that I remember happening happened. No drugs, no alcohol, I just feel like I lost time somewhere.",2.31216666666667,4.842526835714288,3.4742857142857133,86.77738095238097,80.64285714285714,6.3047619047619055,28.619047619047624,7.554174236665415,1.90824761904762,567,27,108,9,15,183,83,140,0.14400000000000002,0.8079999999999999,0.047,-0.8832,0,0,5,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,7,0,11,3,1,0,3,23,30,6,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,11,4,1,1,6,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,8,4,18,5,12,20,3,17,0,2,2,0,2,5,0,0,11,77,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714248358765313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327220904731724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413820570116505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271157615118451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239805731313935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333295946870856,0.0,0.05542340016091643,0.0783072295887873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229533975213384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6785101287928863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249410234741686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414460605879287,0.06024019237746856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710231306300287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204693768617014,0.12262840872613273,0.11965504969682872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067743125478864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057783845585338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165741933807401,0.205727910802562,0.0,0.21035240126792792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049785258297774,0.0,0.0,0.10488440948658324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822917208727366,0.0,0.24833930915936064,0.0,0.1042666386906744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287436024193724,0.25315529488355754,0.0,0.0,0.07758432901170281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066170675179593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023529784360527,0.0,0.08702012304539343,0.06391596099141661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465232357738103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786561253837174,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GOAT555,2018/01/25,"Jealousy Over My GF's Past I have been with my gf for over 1 year. I can mostly keep my visualizing of her having sex with her ex at bay but when it comes it hurts deeply. I have been emotionally abusive with her also. I just want these thoughts to end and I am considering leaving the relationship. I have begun meditating everyday for the past month and a half and also I am currently reading the Power of Now to try and rectify my situation. 

I have gone to the counsellor once. I am going again next month. What should I talk to him about and what should I do to overcome this? On the internet it said it's a rare form of OCD called Rectroactive Jealousy. Please help.",2.9162531328320784,5.00486157142857,4.43625939849624,82.99744674185466,76.14285714285714,8.042355889724309,25.369047619047624,8.841846274778883,1.9215167919799503,531,19,108,12,12,177,82,133,0.11,0.83,0.06,-0.8225,2,0,0,1,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,7,0,14,1,0,0,0,17,21,9,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,8,9,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,5,1,19,0,18,14,2,20,0,1,0,1,12,4,0,1,13,81,27,1,0.0,0.22347055497381454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016607359310744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259064539202744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246975774355055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121594840563024,0.1670513912047305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719071242834352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642048512449588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190959285094934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764414386984858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970945810011465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010914470304261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058757025742036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086218817321247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600968315235275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207035795069036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865981363774326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024952377954864,0.0,0.0,0.17941013450174242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21200416372758069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515965877056944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497342982950554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805297655056247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124634125091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214578663041903
mentalhealth,HighAsSky,2018/01/25,"I think my best friend is a sociopath and I'm not sure what to do. I'm personally an 18-year-old male, currently unsure about life and how I got myself in the situation I did, however, this is where I am. My best friend of 4 years, whom I have gone through all of high school with has been showing definitive signs of being a sociopath. She tries to restrict my actions by constantly becoming aggressive towards the way I respond or react to a scenario. I.E I am asked to do something, if not done exactly how she wanted it done, I am told how much of a f***ing idiot I am and that it's no wonder that ""you can't function on your own"". I personally feel I have been mentally dragged through 5 minefields at this point and am at my witts end. I've been walking on paper-thin ice for months with my mental health due to constantly being told that I am a shitty friend who doesn't care. She will act without thinking of the consequences it may have on another person regardless of the relationship she has with the person. She is aware of the fact that she is hurting others, however, she has told me that it doesn't mentally affect her. When we first became friends things were much different, but in the last year or so I have felt I've been walking on eggshells in every conversation to avoid being demeaned or told that I am not good enough. I am just reaching an end and am unsure of how to handle this situation without continually dragging myself through this mentally abusive friendship. Being her friend of four years, I feel like I can not just leave her, especially due to her own mental health problems in fear that it may escalate to anything worse. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks reddit. 


TL;DR: My friend will knowingly hurt others, with the intent to do so, without a sense of morality, showing no remorse even for her closest of friends. I have to walk on eggshells to not be told I'm stupid or a f***ing idiot. Not sure how to deal with this, advice would be greatly appreciated. ",8.87393229166667,7.3269835286458385,8.586250000000003,71.5004166666667,61.36979166666666,11.554166666666667,39.5625,10.380263240014207,4.0054750000000015,1601,70,295,29,18,516,186,384,0.153,0.727,0.12,-0.8683,4,1,1,0,0,0,46.0,1,2,0,3,13,26,4,2,17,0,49,3,0,8,5,58,70,19,0,6,17,0,3,1,7,6,3,0,0,5,23,11,0,2,7,2,0,6,14,9,0,2,16,3,42,17,51,41,8,38,1,2,0,0,39,16,0,8,16,223,65,1,0.0,0.08701391354614173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352864851517952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049941444329978164,0.07700782080005013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043453089466,0.0,0.0686561096040974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110826506107728,0.0,0.0,0.1541406524351526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487656366238847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872422898441424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571299981375512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672874807258664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030841088579291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009136987872402,0.07588273537142297,0.0,0.048506161211512085,0.0,0.061876027919750526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263996407957286,0.07426653374047512,0.052465262790570025,0.07051353001340245,0.0,0.0,0.06246768371519255,0.0,0.0,0.3971747534220501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061597649668819414,0.05873635457797896,0.1619348299753566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612571490029628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759296637351683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572372150642204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04036048191508145,0.05986307343008319,0.0,0.0777619294117134,0.0,0.0,0.05187255924762926,0.035878877530440334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37004920313217937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058618785692947616,0.0,0.10797310776750507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706250321071934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564984937093867,0.0,0.0,0.06942415696679739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027177612136189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884664320588676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432479294507416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509836811543574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056537389726069025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843190215350026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761331402214224,0.0,0.0,0.04879000501176332,0.09411425682888276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508734107241597,0.0,0.04986066568010438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331657708133193,0.05829293378878316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237945250994011,0.07964211025315601,0.0,0.0,0.07484122349160686,0.10433876528711564,0.0,0.0,0.18917077069648008
mentalhealth,interstellartortise,2018/01/25,"I feel like such a failure. I'm so anxious and stressed about school, I just want to die tbh. exams are in a week and I'm so underprepared. everything in my life is crashing down. my mom is always getting mad at me about my accounting mark, i'm having breakdowns every day, i gained 40 pounds in a year, i have no self-care routine whatsoever, i got a zero on a math test because my teacher caught me skipping (i skipped because i was too anxious to write the test and i was so afraid of failure) now my mark is a 73 (went down from an 80). i'm failing accounting with a 49 because i'm a retard and I don't understand anything. i hate myself. some bitch at school is always belittling me and i snap back but it gets too me. my mom always tells me i'm unsuccessful and worthless, she also calls me weak. i feel like utter shit. i want to die. i haven't had more than 6 hours sleep in over 3 months. my health is deteriorating. i stopped praying because i felt stressed. i wasted today having a mental breakdown instead of studying. i think i have a parasite or IBS. i want to die i want to die i want to die. i can't even balance highschool, how tf can i balance university? i love science, i love biology, i want to go into academia and just research all day, but if i can't even handle life right now, what's the point of moving forward? i'm such a mean person, i take all my anger out on my family, i don't feel normal. i'm always in tears. i cried writing my trig test last friday and I got a fricking 78 on it. why am i such a retard omg.. i want perfection but i am far from it. why am i not good enough for anyone. why does my mom always compare me to people. why does she tell me i'm an applied student, i'm in AP level classes. i want to die. i can't deal with life anymore, i just cry at home, i don't feel the motivation to study, i like school, i love learning but i can't deal with the stress, i set unattainable standards for myself. i was an overachiever in middle school, i was pretty, skinny, captain of every team, top grades... look at me now, fat, acne, average grades, mental health problems, my mom hates me, and i'm late and miss a lot of class. i'm going insane i don't know what to do. i just want to become a scientist fuck highschool i hate it i want to die. i love my friends but the school part causes me so much stress i quit legit every sport. i used to be an amazing cross country runner, i went to provincials. can't do that anymore because i quit over a year ago and gained so much weight. i wish i could be like the overachievers at my school, 99 averages, trackstars, student council members, volunteers. i make honour roll. but i still feel like such a dumbass because i skip school, i want to die",0.9471728833629384,3.1241839467140338,2.908576376554173,90.92228433984607,83.42273534635879,5.316388395500296,23.060065127294266,6.588339656340683,0.6160247720544696,2114,77,449,22,60,708,249,563,0.222,0.621,0.156,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,0,9,81.0,0,0,0,10,27,32,8,5,27,0,34,16,4,5,3,69,90,26,8,16,13,4,7,5,1,0,7,0,1,1,7,16,3,1,12,3,2,9,12,18,0,1,11,8,90,14,52,76,9,54,1,3,1,5,21,28,3,4,23,266,97,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482537538912432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043911614254704,0.2103826393802765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425462384351795,0.10029949985583264,0.035358238136466144,0.0,0.04161305737613975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388835790974096,0.0,0.1849542653135933,0.055848251615435135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163546029905458,0.0,0.0,0.05194714332074039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04037433820913036,0.0,0.11109288552297046,0.06522419969929076,0.1042665297050512,0.0,0.0,0.4198518144698533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850458681668345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522501386893113,0.0,0.06679921692812514,0.0,0.12781686207775553,0.0,0.04544715078062163,0.0,0.0476708977529615,0.0,0.12784320006786395,0.10837711280809256,0.04855309583450646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039068619398862615,0.04674919111737666,0.052839261389679086,0.0,0.057477784185775725,0.04241393938130871,0.08088750775211846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977594007331493,0.0,0.10750258562213692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050723707666545666,0.0,0.049799176632151734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027790784917126544,0.041219572196236426,0.05704277231673921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715276939840714,0.12352456179962085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424642841690739,0.0,0.0,0.04299100407670033,0.1825579475115544,0.0,0.03375445321393185,0.0,0.0,0.055083246859311714,0.0,0.0,0.10192106065173293,0.0,0.0,0.2368979641095243,0.04036280014503772,0.05374565473072409,0.0743464218567521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049545786773488726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476008728717393,0.0,0.035057401575036916,0.044153923169465925,0.0,0.0,0.04780299250084425,0.0,0.0,0.051445714428505984,0.0,0.048386632747402764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757033187155368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043184694050717405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35824176662823337,0.0,0.0,0.052753328297424684,0.0,0.051907203136384236,0.0,0.0,0.05060440048951242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040383575064346304,0.04227701277127552,0.2317013472033212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038020753239484215,0.0,0.08839711367582732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032401856284443364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04793243841303967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052642947462540064,0.0,0.043674413178404065,0.0,0.0,0.3280887100161126,0.0,0.040562503907086406,0.06157805595578712,0.0,0.09375386455540373,0.1825185889810475,0.0,0.0581505675152094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512811482397697
mentalhealth,GormyGorm,2018/01/25,"I am scared that I am extremely close to a mental breakdown. I have been dealing with anxiety, insomnia, depression, emotional issues, and family issues for most of my life, and It has gotten to the point when I am crying multiple times a night, but I can't explain why, and I will often feel like I am drowning while thinking about certain things, and I am struggling to breathe. I am scared that I am close to a mental breakdown, and I don't know what to do. I am currently in my junior year of high school, and I feel like I should take a break from school for a few weeks to focus on my mental health and do things that I enjoy, that relieve stress. I don't really know what question I am asking here, but I need someones help.",11.622876712328768,6.222061561643837,10.911698630136986,68.83946575342465,60.0958904109589,14.145753424657535,42.21369863013699,10.793553405168565,4.334637260273971,572,19,114,9,5,187,81,146,0.129,0.7240000000000001,0.147,0.5574,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,4,6,0,19,4,1,0,1,24,29,11,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,2,21,5,15,25,2,14,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,3,9,85,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096031401141685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394053239445336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737821387131865,0.0,0.14770775044949958,0.12340047286173353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116238113715614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506464804988955,0.0,0.14488585394148545,0.20470793556192027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229206471788145,0.0,0.0,0.09603259782518757,0.15137535881458558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990787236513631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747773844383667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011976682389187,0.13999150216503872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331552215715057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623481097486907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445162129030805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354389084786417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049809161758222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917840906275038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868817157949335,0.2899990225072882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139440158717718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411826915278566,0.1497796201375486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772315808891204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903678866888088,0.09180329134769796,0.0,0.0,0.08354340009675566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492463059168098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928122893257327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226285135679843
mentalhealth,RX-Queen-,2018/01/25,"Being on medication for life? So I won’t go back to when all my mental health started but after a stay in hospital I was diagnosed with bipolar, extreme anxiety, intrusive thoughts with OCD. I was out on 600mg of quetiapine and 225mg of venaflaxine. It helped me a lot, it saved my life if I’m honest. That was 7 years ago. Recently I had surgery and was in the high dependency unit for a week as a nearly lost my life so I was off my meds for that week and it’s taken up until now (6 weeks later) for me to feel ‘normal’ again. I was horrific, crying constantly, extreme depression and anxiety. I had to be put on Valium while on the ward. I’m also struggling with an eating disorder at the moment so it heightened that and I have a feeding tube at the moment. Anyway back to the topic, I’m out of hospital now and I met up with a friend tonight and we were discussing medication and I said I can’t imagine ever coming off it as it terrifies me. So I’ve spent the last couple of hours overthinking about the fact will I ever be able to get off these, will I be stuck on these for the rest of my life? Does anyone else think this? I don’t want to be stuck on these but the thought of being back to where I was before hospital where I attempted suicide 7 times in a month is a no go area. Has anyone else successfully been able to get off meds and be ok? ",2.412432306978186,3.915832718861214,4.460191861364692,84.84573572644284,75.90391459074733,8.018629119603899,24.672907318582702,8.716276077567194,1.6798474702150703,1058,35,225,22,23,364,146,281,0.16699999999999998,0.762,0.071,-0.9842,0,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,1,0,0,3,18,8,0,1,18,1,26,11,0,1,4,34,47,22,1,3,3,0,1,0,1,3,9,1,0,0,13,17,2,0,5,0,1,4,4,3,0,0,20,2,25,5,48,17,3,57,0,2,0,0,6,24,0,3,28,164,38,1,0.2222466821272036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850413705414944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886529570080502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700181035113911,0.0,0.0,0.1554000476360876,0.22771798973711624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563409701302617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945577786243216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957229187932344,0.0,0.12008485439960155,0.0,0.0,0.12295586328714865,0.12206377220825985,0.0,0.0,0.0957103708274535,0.11278785205160265,0.0,0.0,0.12735697613366675,0.0,0.0972447846117387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370691988057388,0.18565858484591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20103484784673406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618730012456871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585361765237286,0.0,0.11611471851793576,0.0,0.12630791112968928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811891518891393,0.0,0.0,0.07448363313543374,0.11740791092848075,0.0,0.0,0.10943410685518637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058035440159644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139588084033686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121304253604363,0.09447309076399273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468659619152817,0.22389015070634047,0.11198619130335748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886975906584529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887728052302073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117096502416696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972089328055196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570374434053884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865367275351494,0.11844269614280167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617024354373705,0.0,0.12155089907549753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120334998970353,0.0,0.1764390404137042,0.0647969138044231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554342566580221,0.0,0.2674093240338505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155978832311052
mentalhealth,KitiaraUthMatar3,2018/01/25,"Life after antidepressents? (I'm from the USA)
I've been thinking lately, and trying to do some research but not finding much information. It's very stated online and by doctors that the idea is you will take antidepressants for 6-12 months, and then be able to live without them. 

I question that. For years and years I could tell I needed medication. There have been some hiccups with adjusting to meds, and they don't solve every problem of course, but they are essential to me personally. 

So I want to know more about all this. Is taking medication a while supposed to correct the chemistry in my head? Whats the science behind this idea of ""short"" term medication? ",5.168292682926825,7.3208840813008145,5.324073170731708,78.79928048780491,69.97560975609754,7.846829268292684,29.37317073170732,8.548686976883017,2.339364878048781,534,21,93,9,10,168,92,123,0.016,0.938,0.046,0.5312,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,11,7,1,0,2,26,18,10,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,10,0,18,13,6,11,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,8,67,16,2,0.1671892518758271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348701330960588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112528371010122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086415551869025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280794732582695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158440652493254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774726300442552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188284045428496,0.0,0.1885967583671608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809071297348367,0.0,0.0,0.147631172455443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857095687151786,0.5052767461905447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334488657687812,0.0,0.12290333717060825,0.12396871181860747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598320594790418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997753464350065,0.0,0.0,0.18729022515871266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514110209030019,0.0,0.14613077530404514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712812179592107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351052743296328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794864227247494,0.0986125524805128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116447264593106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532879338618424
mentalhealth,BoneTheif,2018/01/25,"Can anybody help me out here? Hey guys so I’ve been trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with me and my brain and google has helped but can’t really trust the internet so I was just curious as to what you guys think is going on

For years I’ve been very paranoid, getting worse and worse as time goes by. For example, last week a girl who used to go to my school tried to start an argument with me over the internet and all of a sudden I was convinced she had planted a camera in my room and was spying on my, i tried to block the area where I thought the camera was and made a blanket fort to hid from her. This is just one incident but you get the point. It comes in waves and a thing to point out is not every fibre of my being fully believes the stuff I get paranoid about but I still have to act on it and i still feel intense fear.

Another thing I get paranoid about is that someone is out to kill me and sometimes it gets so bad that when I’m home alone I have to haul my ass into the bathroom to lock myself in with a knife and police on speed dial.

Just recently in the past 6 or so months I’ve started having mild hallucinations such as shadow people or even last month just saw a French bulldog in my room. I also have auditory hallucinations when in silence which I’m fairly sure is tinnitus like it will start of like ringing in my ears then move on to strange voices, almost haunting voices?

Another thing that has recently showed up is an intense paranoia of my bones breaking or loved ones getting hurt and to relive that anxiety I have to “touch wood”. There’s a rule to it if I said the paranoid thing in my head I say touch wood in my head and touch my forehead. If I say it aloud I also have to say touch wood aloud. It gets really frustrating though when your brain won’t stop having these thoughts that your sat there slapping your head, especially in public.

It’s not everything that’s going down but these are the highlights but I just wanted your guys opinion on all of this. What do you think is going on? (Apologies for the post being long)",5.721737756714058,5.436779353080571,6.059443127962087,82.93720576619278,67.08056872037915,9.023854660347553,29.431674565560822,8.472884824447931,1.914483096366508,1645,50,342,21,24,529,207,422,0.166,0.7659999999999999,0.068,-0.9935,1,1,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,7,0,0,25,12,2,1,21,0,34,10,9,2,3,55,63,36,1,4,17,0,5,2,0,2,0,8,3,4,28,21,0,2,6,1,0,7,4,6,0,2,13,14,42,6,60,44,2,63,0,1,1,2,24,31,1,7,25,237,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719150301340453,0.0901818554992039,0.0,0.13926524587107475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18260825188301089,0.06661096663585746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270271084323691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810198377497106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440558010630407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750060848619668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952108099687959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751120608508355,0.0,0.07336315438160447,0.0,0.0782560207954688,0.0,0.0,0.09798186222817896,0.044026962972278975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184460617412071,0.0,0.19794343967707845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586492765313293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680875044260865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672702375178325,0.0,0.08734179049281607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321395111407832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633389414937056,0.0,0.0,0.14195300006989278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507939891416956,0.0,0.0,0.07705728138942478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858720674153828,0.08239102317750284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900242691826756,0.0925453191681052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180064742399612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312148020314025,0.06036578090305675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646251485946525,0.09816225500939543,0.08339231545110637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156298974870033,0.0,0.17194909508157527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282681011179606,0.2077329559502052,0.0,0.088123000821612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377706902813481,0.0,0.08611788883123779,0.0,0.18489315184795047,0.0,0.1390739721082085,0.07279732026699308,0.0,0.0,0.09967829162797044,0.0,0.0,0.08206571551585265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313909790460046,0.11158632810435154,0.08554924271366553,0.1382532188223418,0.05077324090071122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735151254068154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520352161166517,0.0,0.0718447322706273,0.051358188922887744,0.0,0.06984508587989903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747061075878626,0.0,0.09520117101784123,0.0,0.056072460214689715
mentalhealth,Squeakies,2018/01/26,"How to help my mother? Hi everyone.
About 8 months ago my dad left my mom. (I am a 25 year old female, so not a child when this happened).

My mom did not take it well. For a while my sister and I thought we would have to bring her to the ER on multiple occasions because she would go into day-long hysterics and refuse to eat. This was extremely draining for me and my sister (as selfish as that seems, it is really hard to take care of someone in that state).

My mother has since stopped the frequent hysterics, but I am growing more and more concerned with her 'normal' behavior. She constantly accuses my sister and me of 'siding with our father' (my sister has had no contact with him, and I have barely spoken with him and only out of necessity).  She makes up conversations that never happened, and then asks us about why we said this or that - when we say we don't remember talking about that, she becomes furious with us for lying or betraying her.

Some weeks are better, and some weeks are worse. But I am scared for her and for us. I have tried to get her to see a therapist (she went three times before claiming that it would never help her). If I were to suggest this to her again at this point, she would say I thought she was crazy and that my father poisoned me against her...

I'm not too sure what to do, what are my options? I really want to help her but have no idea how to at this point.",5.604892857142854,5.334915846428572,6.069285714285716,82.71821428571431,67.32142857142857,9.428571428571429,30.0,9.017664075816787,2.196035714285713,1087,35,227,17,16,352,146,280,0.17,0.769,0.061,-0.9863,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,8,0,0,1,11,8,2,1,6,0,24,2,0,3,3,53,42,26,0,7,9,11,1,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,18,22,1,2,5,0,0,4,8,4,2,1,9,5,49,4,38,29,4,33,0,0,1,0,51,11,0,7,17,174,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969167375487224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221120573200886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664812744384123,0.12074924743812335,0.09303397489879874,0.0,0.0,0.09669578431638996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147185439335616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814968046494315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051047079033854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118745267062361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447196782987657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712176176905308,0.0,0.06213622614933505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19336488308315736,0.0,0.09794051872433306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21984997605614992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342317752404675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187901706824545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675589492993324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298034773466669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560979982222291,0.08726822417949577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864805537646374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071227172485922,0.0,0.0,0.11472615351080638,0.0,0.0,0.08315235563147562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20670925956693356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008250381482926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238525027481458,0.0,0.10400032277362822,0.173891315629007,0.10946098820748723,0.0,0.08712391283713121,0.09953227677404457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044104197456214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263714227146744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140693447693483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304466501580148,0.0,0.16440899071689016,0.08787738829001178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694355497662788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359571571824728,0.06375270802786981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422964667167674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945409045909337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448718981015795,0.0,0.17540000552615193,0.0,0.0983031218945778,0.10135239924280794,0.0986556500223482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141924201133813,0.31066691853302153,0.0,0.0,0.07040659845728668
mentalhealth,othermegan,2018/01/26,"Dealing with the idea of ""failing"" at being successful I'm a young 25 year old who bought into the whole concept of good education = good job prospects = successful life. 

I put my parents in debt by insisting I just *had* to go to a prestigious high school because it would help me get into a good college with massive scholarships. It did not.

I went to college and put myself in debt for a degree. Moved across the country to get a job in my field. Ended up as a barista. After a while I gave up on finding a job in that field. So I went back to school and started to go for my masters in software development. I had been really good at it back during undergrad. 

3 terms in and I'm utterly miserable. I've already pulled out of my classes for next term and I'm just trying to get through the last couple weeks of this one. But I'm stressed out to the max. My apartment is a shithole because between work and school I don't have time to clean. My mental health is going down the drain. I think about self harming all the time. Part of me wants to kill myself so it's over.

I have one project left due on sunday. I'm so confused by the material I don't even understand how to do it. My professor has done very little to help me. I feel so much anger directed at him. I don't even want to finish the term.

And yet even though I've already pulled out of next term and am taking a break from grad school indefiniately, I still can't accept the idea of failing this one class. Which is causing me to get even more upset.  I honestly don't know what to do anymore.",1.9043645833333327,3.897444040625,3.3937500000000007,89.72958333333338,78.90625,6.391666666666668,25.041666666666664,7.42949916751922,1.1542166666666671,1223,46,259,17,30,402,168,320,0.11,0.789,0.101,-0.4558,6,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,6,17,17,2,4,20,0,21,2,0,2,1,33,45,16,1,3,4,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,11,14,0,0,8,0,4,10,6,9,0,3,9,1,28,8,56,34,9,60,0,3,0,0,8,25,0,1,24,170,39,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379493937656395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157465529300204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200471019383246,0.0,0.11257698602955908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485673906431433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217043177209302,0.0,0.0,0.09519660147918846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944940097820915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178421357422354,0.0,0.0,0.24395396877663705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046688954559480335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439541698395138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19297153643444856,0.0,0.15743373440695851,0.3097955131616352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815115963293757,0.0,0.0,0.12378466148668553,0.097560349155599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20847711503307004,0.0,0.0,0.2748941651181646,0.0,0.10215850703373952,0.0,0.0507466448539789,0.07526793494725201,0.0,0.0,0.10032569479642134,0.0,0.06522118212921513,0.0,0.0925471071353388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305515989307137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814086436197822,0.067879181487307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19640538840125368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689337927681407,0.0,0.18771220661926252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253061327693458,0.0999932427249495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565073503890087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059154197873885477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738046418142312,0.0,0.0,0.09632885231409874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535743388601348,0.0,0.07374138398161778,0.0,0.10577306482866997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694268142291955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591665726023806,0.09072178583317647,0.0,0.10768626210912803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269155801397286,0.0,0.0,0.09612729424212346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618866289808307,0.10892689329435214,0.0,0.0740681123724762,0.0,0.0,0.1711968223448451,0.0,0.10309227221276927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722328945454444,0.0,0.0,0.06559438856141858,0.0,0.0,0.05946275578104911
mentalhealth,wish_in_one_hand,2018/01/26,"Sister being scheduled. How can we help her today, and in the future? Hi Reddit. I'm sorry if this is the wrong spot for this. I'm not sure the best place.
My sister has struggled coping with some big life events in the past week, and yesterday took a bunch pills and has subsequently been admitted to hospital. She is apparently being scheduled today, voluntarily, I believe. I don't really know what this means practically, or where to go for information. We're in Australia.
Our small family hasn't had any kind of experience with this before, and don't know what to do to help her, besides some practical stuff (taking care of pets and kids etc). She is not one to use words to ask for help. Has anyone been in a situation like this that can offer some advice on how we can best help her today, and in the future? ",4.351054852320671,5.9180357721519,5.601962025316457,78.35058016877637,71.0253164556962,8.557805907172996,23.926160337552748,9.075114841892004,1.7891248945147673,644,17,122,13,12,215,94,158,0.092,0.8,0.108,0.4141,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,0,2,3,8,0,1,7,0,18,2,0,3,1,27,30,10,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,9,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,4,0,11,6,19,24,7,23,0,0,0,0,20,10,0,5,12,85,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378601685240294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006199362079464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028855064743317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755844055775582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520748986684152,0.1657792892131056,0.3088340993657063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002165708362514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410286140258856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393366831845594,0.1387129200405831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362451367276898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945062532867752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322634418587294,0.1617314171867021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039311490119421,0.07188642744994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028139551235393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997076137976966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046423299682032,0.0,0.0,0.1537326683914526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426329841327402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653944141865146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647140608479145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382536268242755,0.16844303958181062,0.0,0.0,0.13868013126207546,0.0,0.11063290083861856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184218554930672,0.0,0.16348080981629876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708393734118406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802889448961497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087730192893016,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaylacactus,2018/01/26,"Lost/losing hope I don’t know anymore. My FP left in August. I think the last time we had a conversation was November. Seems like specific holidays I’ll get triggered by the memories. New Years passed and last year I was with him. It made me feel worse. Cried a lot, had more intense nightmares than I usually do, had more intense feelings of suicide. It fades a little, but it’ll always come back. Valentine’s Day will come and I’ll be alone. On top of BPD he convinced me to do psychedelic drugs with him. I feel like I have the craziest weirdest deepest fucking dependence on him. I hate it. He doesn’t respond to my messages at all. He spent the relationship lying and cheating and “trying to understand” my bpd. But I know he never gave a fuck in the first place. I end up being left by everyone I could never imagine leaving. Every fucking one. Two of the three friends I had left, who I’ve known for several years. No one gives a fuck about me and I can’t keep dealing with it. Every single moment in my life has gone wrong and I can’t get over it. I started cutting myself when I was 11 and being “emo” was supposed to be a phase and I was supposed to grow up and be a fucking human but my teenage years were filled with fucking abuse and abandonment and all it did was get worse and all I do is fucking hallucinate and not feel and fear the fucking world. I don’t think there’s hope anymore. I’m just letting myself experience life because I’m terrified of the pain of death. ",2.245235109717868,4.473251723905727,3.6209729478695,87.3430303030303,78.89898989898991,6.3861140137002215,26.739695808661324,7.503015589744147,1.5194124927435273,1170,49,233,17,29,383,157,297,0.202,0.688,0.109,-0.9887,0,1,1,0,2,2,28.0,1,0,0,2,5,21,11,1,15,0,32,12,0,3,5,52,67,18,2,3,5,0,4,2,1,2,4,0,0,1,8,21,0,2,12,1,1,6,9,15,0,5,16,4,32,6,28,42,7,42,0,1,0,8,18,16,8,5,22,151,40,0,0.0,0.09612085528796617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402190456424068,0.0,0.0,0.06750319821554326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091006937720895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238076380432245,0.0,0.04945355943282958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435031252376626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976545656825934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477238243090072,0.0,0.08911292649768872,0.05231945579873938,0.08363717941104445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408021931940112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185341532590206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670403922964838,0.07751921724271765,0.0,0.07935663891249856,0.0,0.0912891249752042,0.16407865021774087,0.05795631671782345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690055985515285,0.0,0.0,0.06267762318833912,0.5999962589514773,0.12715471006746962,0.07782329854802207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009497203500529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611525292694287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210837461193438,0.0,0.0,0.08916928071405289,0.1322567755837034,0.0,0.08590055152424267,0.2644303894733169,0.08295666843370911,0.11460316075115573,0.07926797576273446,0.08130940478104838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855843826339746,0.06897028857093991,0.0,0.07676323189459543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513849900462254,0.07835184235624852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994593825628342,0.0,0.08632361417083398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475923664783767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709879228126033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385391838769365,0.0,0.09164910829940827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742128751271663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873850233435455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396432584757184,0.0,0.0,0.04730513003709952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507912051165851,0.0,0.07924815819791851,0.08445486109695183,0.0,0.0,0.08934865202299268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534832464457191,0.0,0.08869837132299438,0.0,0.20896952606535935
mentalhealth,DrDickler,2018/01/26,Help with a psych ward. So some back story for help. My girlfriend Shelby is 18. Her sister Becca is 16. They have been dealing with their dad abusing them physically and mentally. Yesterday he had bounced Becca's head on the floor leaving a bruise on her head. Shelby her friend Drew and I took Becca to the police station to report the situation but unfortunately the station was closed at that time. Shelby and Becca's dad ended up calling the police on Shelby for kidnapping Becca so we called the cop and had him come to the station where we already were and talked to him about the situation. He ended up forcing Becca to go home to her abusive dad despite the fact that Becca was dragged into the house crying and begging the cop to not make her go in there. This afternoon we had drove to Becca's school to take her out to lunch and try to help her feel better. After that we had found out that her dad had sent her to a 72 hour phsyc evaluation. I'm wanting to know but have low faith is there any possible way for Shelby to check Becca out of that psych evaluation? ,4.813714285714287,6.109210085714286,5.490952380952384,80.63071428571429,69.57142857142857,7.6952380952380945,26.857142857142854,8.021203637495839,1.6555142857142855,858,27,160,11,15,278,113,210,0.084,0.841,0.075,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,4,0,3,1,7,4,0,0,14,0,14,3,2,1,1,29,27,11,0,1,3,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,19,1,0,3,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,13,1,20,3,33,14,1,30,1,1,0,0,35,15,0,1,8,104,26,4,0.0,0.3407650164157189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868969094272514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779066590255854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057528534323344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718167039901546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936769653891009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238731645675338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796034986300928,0.0,0.14825411576699274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547327547149062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271089058588176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767207479769066,0.11110149421104128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345260736716366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951658087952561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891634561907713,0.0,0.14424568363020626,0.0,0.14161654595024425,0.16592883659289095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903012128655656,0.0,0.0,0.15226613809554054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095989319460152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491914872107506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621157695602486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553585889797124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32328018490532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812162192910664,0.11558304337712655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385242393727464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976992538056956,0.09763249270456946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481847039534364,0.1141437715528191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThePenguinMassacre,2018/01/26,"For a while now, whenever it comes to the point of doing something I was kind of looking forward to, I get kinda bummed out and uninterested. An example of this is that I go and stay with relatives every couple of months or so to get away from my kinda mundane home life. Leading up to it, I'm fairly excited, but there always a point near to me leaving where I couldn't care less if I went or not. 

After a couple of days I start to enjoy it, and when I have to return home, I'm normally quite sad to leave. Other examples would be looking forward to new tv series or video games. I have to practically force myself to watch/play them for a while before I even start enjoying them. 

I've suffered with anxiety for many many years and maybe depression too, I'm not sure. I have an assessment for ADHD hopefully within the next 4-5 months too. I was just wondering if anyone thought that these feelings were connected to any of those things?",5.8139002932551325,5.905590419354844,6.674437927663735,77.32711143695019,66.84946236559139,9.98944281524927,30.887585532746826,9.800150414767053,2.8116623655913977,742,26,143,15,11,247,119,186,0.124,0.802,0.07400000000000001,-0.8563,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,2,9,10,0,0,8,0,11,1,0,1,1,28,28,14,0,6,9,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,10,8,0,0,3,3,0,6,3,3,0,0,5,3,16,7,31,20,1,29,0,3,2,0,3,10,0,9,16,100,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372809551750164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335850278742415,0.0,0.0,0.0926445282761076,0.0,0.10421946575622833,0.0,0.0,0.09525873779694513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279973452511634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592602161524805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890074691480098,0.0,0.0,0.11735446109818908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014830566563501,0.0,0.08786035821680929,0.0,0.11733907753299215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998198758997185,0.0,0.11478393336701195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888455147219161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423544161526694,0.0,0.07742553732132072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733097927587682,0.1353121772101651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186787473343532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28850656463148044,0.0,0.0,0.09622686821426887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22880631641116395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762419828460669,0.13686645231421846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21748308730356455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315766922891586,0.1448875565365896,0.0,0.13348145608905668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575723773889583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490278049112704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488042289137388,0.0,0.0,0.19285578617426066,0.14520847203666207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283999536400765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905085357371304,0.0,0.0,0.10815543845438684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629128700735234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774113633090066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677749432983376,0.0,0.0,0.0877309269381856
mentalhealth,peacesignz,2018/01/26,"Life after depression blog Hi guys,

I recently got over (mostly anyway) my depression of 10 years. It's still hard, I'm still feeling a little insecure. But now I just want to live my life again. I'm about to turn 28, and I just hate thinking that I wasted so much of my life. 

So I'm thinking of starting a blog called ""Life After Depression"". This will track my progress of getting readjusted, feeling happy again, learning to be myself. 

This may be a little soon for some of you, but I wanted to ask: Would you read/follow this blog? 

",3.8379285714285696,5.296335304761904,4.7001785714285695,84.74169642857143,72.14285714285714,7.5357142857142865,26.458333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.6319761904761911,417,14,81,6,8,135,64,105,0.12,0.802,0.078,-0.6374,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,12,6,1,1,3,0,5,4,0,0,0,16,20,5,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,12,1,14,14,3,14,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,3,11,56,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518475946976285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585642859599933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196951733793509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425624143358675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486155766779438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299079457808495,0.0,0.0,0.1608285587754583,0.0,0.17290687578897698,0.1455029522958718,0.16036332632843314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458908807853141,0.0,0.3255896414265616,0.1434262772397296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940275090641747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247125007473606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037735838030262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496687536860754,0.0,0.25942929511305496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20815370414416576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667425472495024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916076538057184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538369005999854,0.0,0.0,0.10459785255456278
mentalhealth,ThrowThinkAway,2018/01/26,"Is Prozac and other antidepressants dangerous? I've been on Prozac 10mg and 20mg for 2 months now, but I haven't noticed much positive effects. I started lowering the dosage in case my psychiatrist changes med, but I still have some doubts about whether to continue or not.

I saw a book at a library called Prozac Backlash, by Dr. Joseph Glenmullen. It talks about the dangers of antidepressants like Prozac and Zoloft. He mentions brain damage, lasting side effects, and safe alternatives like St. John's wort.

Is this true? Are antidepressants possibly dangerous? Or is this unfounded like the vaccine-autism scare?

I'm not sure what to do now, be it try Prozac longer/higher or switch medicine. I have mild or moderate depression (basically not severe), a little anxiety, a lot of indecisiveness. The psychiatrist says I'm a little obsessed with decisions (not full ocd) but that's why he prescribed me Prozac.",5.880683229813666,8.542228714285718,5.532267080745342,75.88175465838512,69.31055900621118,9.320496894409938,33.23913043478261,9.784248007369934,3.6527068322981364,737,35,123,19,14,227,109,161,0.226,0.6679999999999999,0.106,-0.9715,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,5,15,3,4,9,0,10,9,1,2,2,27,14,12,0,0,12,0,0,3,0,0,8,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,2,7,6,12,11,4,14,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,8,10,68,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522628244684578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221912112552985,0.2032391164399548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21055484349221412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143034879382904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102936071359466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622417885824367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29171839646693953,0.3989748941641702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921421117989044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210853306208366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886950152103402,0.0,0.14631515823743993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266050393383172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438440633404225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828227795718136,0.1992708433800028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485525126190406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087947249059368,0.0,0.15895127238586093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875900961590634,0.0,0.0,0.15997846872521504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513311489593213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796000100683452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,12berk-a-derk,2018/01/26,"Obsessive biting and licking I meant to type picking not licking in the title, lol. I have super intense anxiety, it affects my work ethic. I have a hard time communicating and I release stress by grinding my teeth, biting my tongue, biting my nails, and picking at my nails consistently. It only happens when my anxiety is super heightened, which is pretty much whenever I’m in public or around people. I’ve never been to the doctor for any of these issues and I just want to know opinions on if it seems serious enough to get checked out. If I do end up going, where should I go? My family doctor? Therapist? Psychiatrist? I have a lot of mental issues but I’ve always just dealt with them without the help of a doctor or professional. Any opinions would help a lot and I’d be very gracious for it! Thank you everyone and I hope there’s someone who can relate to this issue. ",2.7214880952380973,5.353513886904762,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,79.77380952380952,6.590476190476192,25.404761904761905,7.793537801064563,1.8358904761904768,695,27,119,12,18,234,108,168,0.08199999999999999,0.773,0.145,0.9289,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,3,6,7,0,2,7,1,11,4,1,3,1,33,22,12,0,6,9,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,3,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,2,3,18,4,20,17,4,14,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,10,4,86,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172981857713791,0.0,0.0,0.19172862769387647,0.0,0.21568305781512406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549302999882586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4328657623881081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485742130755853,0.14565951098942584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347027072103151,0.0,0.0,0.13289380333345896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365091431458316,0.0,0.16023279836706975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246591491084108,0.0,0.1262812723048696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18897820196840284,0.0,0.0,0.14001484237394607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4414076109775048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747332815920455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396950051364207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206442534373595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362904025825476,0.0,0.10872461817680132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721390289799322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773072566072287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434169897752017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833363259800684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944327374510533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614804562046598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297860733226629,0.0,0.16367682999997193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220063756554395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631486770600552,0.08314765413396909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588987905870814,0.0,0.10262771024249832,0.0,0.0,0.10014091778961626,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Moon_soul88,2018/01/26,"What is wrong with me? My most relationship took a turn for abusive (mentally/emotionally). We were together for a year and it didn’t take long for him to start calling me names like idiot, retarded and stupid etc. As the relationship progressed I pleaded with him to stop hurting me. Not to lie or call me names. I didn’t want to leave him because I loved him so much. I wanted to help him get clean etc. At times he was gaslighting me as well. I was labeled codependent by my psychologist (my abuser bf was an addict/ self proclaimed recovered) but anyway to the point I’m trying to make, every time a guy hurts me, I have to get even. Like if they break my heart, or hurt my feelings I let it slide for a while, weeks, months even. And then the codependency in me goes “I’ll show him”. 
And I start to plot and scheme. It usually ends up with me dating one of their friends post break up or kissing one of their coworkers (all post break up) I’ve never cheated. Or even sleeping with a man post break up to feel as if I’m getting even. I know this is shameful behavior. Wanting revenge and getting even shouldn’t be justified because I was treated like garbage. But I wanted to know, is there something really wrong with me? Is that an actual condition? I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in the past. Any insight would be helpful. And please tread lightly with any insults as I am very fragile at the moment.",3.0760618729096976,5.378772431159426,4.069565217391308,84.79299331103681,76.5,7.4345596432552945,28.006688963210696,8.384062270229773,2.115109698996656,1125,48,218,22,26,363,157,276,0.155,0.715,0.13,-0.8288,0,0,1,0,1,0,36.0,1,0,3,1,9,18,4,1,12,0,19,6,2,1,2,42,40,22,0,8,9,0,3,3,2,2,2,0,1,4,6,15,0,1,5,1,0,2,5,10,1,2,9,4,37,8,37,26,5,35,0,3,0,2,27,9,0,7,20,146,43,0,0.0,0.22618987673174096,0.09314732258819083,0.10405670188733587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982118234243872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637323116347638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949342021637417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096881708038602,0.0,0.0,0.10939619076011814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737058300989116,0.08454208562038829,0.0,0.21290828537553794,0.3152255248048307,0.0,0.0804223747527255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652673594059144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374593068453393,0.0,0.19947879233115087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451242576314173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311100636547752,0.1279588442872363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30654982212263043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491577791596443,0.0,0.0,0.10106982039562401,0.0,0.09760607388938684,0.0,0.1398989866416032,0.0,0.0,0.08447196162111108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614910092964413,0.0,0.0637149099535734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618882641694534,0.0,0.07016815742727238,0.0,0.0736184191751421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293614072973078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111967563617186,0.0,0.08334495069463514,0.0,0.10477756447870844,0.09023293440420843,0.0,0.2742497143656639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611489558057647,0.0,0.0,0.20495931950002355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957718885028224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552087246115028,0.0,0.0,0.07348356539608251,0.0,0.0,0.13512274631107318,0.0,0.0,0.07980209440086859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176797839583754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131758555221777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605061548684104,0.06480560041679354,0.10382429906160592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051268245932789,0.07875784556131916,0.22520010492969875,0.0,0.07656578726225008,0.0,0.08582275577035904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780631825656233,0.20872342027907476,0.0,0.06146791869439847
mentalhealth,ApoptosisJo,2018/01/26,"I feel like a worthless peice of meat now... So I got drunk last night. Like out of this world drunk and I end up at some political office downtown with these two guys arguing about politics which turn into like a dick measuring contest and fighting over me I guess. This one guy I hooked up with once has been acting super jealous all night because I showed up with my ex and we were having a private conversation. All the sudden were at my house and and were having sex and he starts drunkenly saying he hates me. ""I hate you but i love hate fucking you."" Then he begins to badger me about me not being discreet and I'm just like dude I'm sorry I was drunk and said something to John but honestly who fucking cares we are adults having sex and then he just kept repeating himself and not listening  until I'm like crying and he's like ""this is what get for being honest"" and storms out. 
Then I fall asleep and wake up two hours later tripping. That guy was on acid when we fucked  so I don't know if he slipped me some or if I absorbed some but I am high and I have to call off work. I have no idea how to process what happened. I tried talking to my friends but they don't seem very supportive and it's like they blame me because I've been acting kind of wild these past few months. It wasn't an assault but I feel so violated. If I had known this guy hated me I would have never had sex with him.",1.7187946428571443,3.8008352743055553,2.884623015873018,92.70125000000002,79.9375,5.6420634920634924,21.3968253968254,6.7097532225279775,0.3340075396825397,1101,32,237,11,28,353,161,288,0.177,0.679,0.14400000000000002,-0.8340000000000001,1,0,1,0,2,0,19.0,3,2,2,2,10,28,12,0,5,0,25,13,3,1,3,54,52,33,0,4,13,1,2,7,1,1,0,3,0,5,13,25,3,1,6,4,0,4,7,13,0,3,13,6,38,15,28,36,6,37,0,1,0,8,32,14,4,9,26,157,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285792945454441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769015325261226,0.0,0.1075271950562106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158468405041278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340946899721136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066511558365228,0.07534323518362455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148093550564374,0.2924982672784344,0.0551003915124735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434889565811607,0.0,0.11618007364547628,0.4177022811485677,0.0932611357972674,0.0,0.0,0.4164939842150732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142811077514918,0.0,0.0,0.10386042716207801,0.12169086409648144,0.0,0.11905559619789073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982413685672304,0.057960050504101725,0.08596693088646855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360669401978181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518503965656328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418005975252743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134004966995707,0.0,0.0,0.19794093660098805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123153192773076,0.07146488210990748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067696406960086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032005884936004,0.08386890805745732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960101237869898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811910514544318,0.0,0.11805789439735115,0.07464769700050061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967887250234617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476766734629325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716028789514306,0.11471413998347653,0.2060452754458304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701853614400358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677877548453824,0.0,0.0,0.07491833370945311,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hr1989,2018/01/26,"Do you think you can actually change your outlook on what life is about? Do you think you can actually change your outlook on what life is about?
Maybe outlook is the wrong word but more so life philisophy. Or change the way you look at the world, and how to achieve happiness. Maybe I am not being specific enough but after suffering 2 years of a sharp decline in my lifestyle, on a relative basis, I find myself with no job/career prospects, no friends, in debt and putting on weight. I don’t want to sound hyperbolic in any way but truly am lost, spending most days wondering around on my own, literally walking in circles or sitting on benches feeling uncontrollably confused and frustrated.
I think we all have a view or expectation of what life should/can be for oursleves when we are growing up. And how to achieve that. Its of course different for everyone. But I what I want to know is do people think its possible to change your mindset or formula for what happiness looks like.
To me it is quite shallow in some ways, and I guess phantasmagoric. A good career, that you are intellectual curious in, that pays relatively well and that society values in terms of status(thats my shallowness coming out). When I say pays well I don’t desire ridiculous amounts, but enough to live in a big city and not have to worry about paying for a concert ticket on the weekend and be generous enough to help your friends/family when they need you. A partner or girlfriend who you are genuinely attracted to and like, and haven’t just settled due to internal securities about getting older and loneliness. A group of friends that you feel comfortable being totally honest with, and actually often do things with. A feeling of not necessarily being confident in yourself, but at least a calmness with who you are. Instead of constantly questioning your personality and eroding character.
At this point of time I haven’t got or achieved any of these things. Not even close. And more importantly feel I have lost all capability/belief on at least getting on a path build towards these dreams (as obviously these things don’t happen overnight). I feel I have missed the boat for that sort of life. As everyone who I know, although may not be living dream lifestyles, certainly are in jobs/careers/life paths that are more orthodox.
What I want to know is, considering these themes have been in my head since a young child in one form or another, do people think its possible to let them all go. To erase them from my philosophical framework on what life is about. In essence, reconfiguring my happiness formula to be something else. For example, try live a life where money doesn’t matter at all. Or career doesn’t matter but getting by doing something I don’t necessarily like but pays the bills. Not worry so much about women/courtship and dating, but just be happy being on my own. Not fixating on my weight, which I guess is not that bad anyway, but be grateful for my health in general and access to a plate of food. Forget about materialistic or shallow things like the way I look or what I have or what people think of me, and build a life on something completely different.
All of this has been playing in my mind a lot over the past 6 months. i have been unemployed for 2 and half years. And really have given up on life. The only thing I am holding on to is the hope that changing my ‘formula’ for happiness might work. However I can’t get all the feelings of failure out of my head. Constantly. Even if I laugh at something for a brief second, strangely I am reminded how badly I have fucked up every opportunity I have been handed due to my inability to actually do anything of substance in my life. Again, the word substance is subjective and is related to this image of what I think life should be like. If I could change it, it would help. Ive rambled again but was very grateful for the responses to my last post.",7.660918476445039,7.740258053424661,7.5829435349148016,72.4090761777481,62.98630136986301,11.121951219512196,36.43501503508186,10.751898458667489,3.94033177413966,3129,136,561,73,41,1004,308,730,0.087,0.7140000000000001,0.199,0.9983,8,0,4,0,0,0,78.0,2,15,3,8,28,37,3,2,30,0,73,19,3,3,9,124,113,55,0,12,34,0,10,5,4,4,12,3,0,3,41,31,3,2,19,6,8,6,19,12,2,3,9,17,67,25,110,87,24,84,1,4,4,1,34,50,1,26,27,420,108,11,0.0,0.0,0.20982351402989047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310874837227764,0.05636546428623058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04423473301033652,0.04785220894246182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976422498523186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411858616906011,0.04630407173763107,0.056359754705521285,0.11617735403018525,0.0,0.04291797295754441,0.0,0.0,0.03466670369148736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123223969794442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490433712108919,0.0,0.0,0.16662589199706232,0.0,0.07100765270396661,0.0,0.04528982908035017,0.10272796968251648,0.0,0.0,0.05067422504923666,0.0,0.16307698146971186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491299279864536,0.0,0.06499921389174505,0.0,0.08305998439720788,0.049694449721256834,0.11233640436023454,0.0,0.03054947891117186,0.04508607160224073,0.04299176189993281,0.0,0.11843156984361483,0.0,0.047534238752391184,0.2861091825484313,0.0,0.0,0.11033365323851224,0.05713769274308006,0.0,0.0,0.07205997342041524,0.0,0.0,0.05338957464320219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053342274651082565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862491932604194,0.04381645776275695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054966822569543015,0.4176462781136505,0.13130676657654225,0.0,0.14239656375645338,0.0,0.1354187645273394,0.0,0.11735707460214245,0.04569949210868437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800567728107316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702420430640275,0.0542759356560861,0.0,0.0429057079807132,0.0,0.03951517057952296,0.03985770367842775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03642491311716757,0.0408821277409557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051314009914626584,0.111798187623466,0.04693567658597789,0.0,0.0,0.050814641934538905,0.12119848959580785,0.05148120667971544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403733738781,0.0602164706459546,0.05717369991780305,0.0,0.0,0.034436010692299464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04274711717184911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446563423188943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552896515359486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855792154903868,0.24110250159663324,0.0,0.0,0.03134422751627551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036495248683595743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435245011324261,0.09511601366382176,0.17066880965986886,0.0,0.13091510387610406,0.09666210310240736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058293618421044587,0.039133349747443404,0.10917902771581826,0.0,0.03818510176862766,0.05877125649777599,0.0,0.06923126903809372
mentalhealth,cmp-fr,2018/01/26,"Mental Health and Senioritis Hey!
High School Senior female here. 
It’s second semester and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I know all the cons of “giving up,” colleges rescinding their acceptances, parents getting upset, high school getting mad, etc.. I just don’t care? 
Depression, ADHD, anxiety, auditory processing disorder, visual processing disorder, executive functioning disorder, and OCD are swirling in my head (all diagnosed). I had a shit last year, Junior year was hell. After a long, hard healing process over the summer I got to a stable state but I’m losing my footing cause of college stress and homework. I can’t focus in anything. 
I’m on medication. Upping my dosage is possible, but makes me feel bad, so I better not. When I’m completely of fit I’m x100 worse.
I have some assignments I told my parents I did and I did do. I told them so they’d get off my back. I don’t know what to do about that either cause they’re gunna find out with grade comments coming out today. 
I’m really fucked and anxious and I know I’ve dug myself into some holes. Reason I’m here is to ask for pointers and tips for getting motivated, staying on top of things, and doing somewhat my best when I don’t want to. 
Thank you :)",2.3099955791335134,5.132285782051287,4.04664014146773,80.4219230769231,84.34188034188034,7.1592101385204865,25.590333038608904,8.216663640201805,2.2729344532861773,979,41,170,23,29,327,149,234,0.182,0.67,0.14800000000000002,-0.7765,2,0,0,1,0,0,38.0,0,1,3,6,9,14,4,2,5,0,18,8,3,6,2,37,43,15,0,1,5,2,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,14,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,7,2,27,5,25,35,8,30,1,2,0,1,12,15,3,3,12,108,31,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489698820540327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858673155542113,0.12680519280743474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473656772491712,0.0,0.10493416473865083,0.0,0.0,0.08630967533083161,0.09372010239320322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779447385544928,0.09927180966432464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444152183572365,0.2306135997998174,0.0,0.09668935135767,0.11768701802363428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667667670579448,0.11392657467382923,0.0,0.0,0.3859283722794976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251831339660554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056754575310414127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025901328111208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037689328241026,0.2345740593395102,0.1076758798902161,0.0,0.0,0.08977278705383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054970443607243,0.0,0.11519601801977095,0.11931146100295195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371865566793865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506117587919976,0.0914948668850792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933352165547983,0.0,0.1255737330809129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492458167407458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307528917879743,0.11311682024162101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492701525554784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653966384369095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719071868247448,0.11540682020038892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271963882613899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521814488346085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963851089662472,0.0,0.0,0.12857656442026966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103340353437419,0.0,0.0,0.07457076220931727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639538060219723,0.21451030939943566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620516166117986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438750783283196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456453278862527
mentalhealth,seventhtao,2018/01/26,"Theoretical mental well-being center I've been thinking lately about the lack of available services/products for mental wellness or at the least how the ones that exist are very disjointed and not cost effective. 

With your help I'd like to brainstorm an ideal center for mental/emotional well-being. Let's leave costs and funding aside for the time.

To preface what basically sparked my line of thinking was the cross-fit fad that is so popular right now. Exercise most definitely has it's mental/emotional benefits but when you walk into a cross-fit center there is no doubt that the focus is physical fitness. What if you turned that around and made the focus mental and emotional well-being?

So.....say you are dealing with mental illness, addiction, grief over a loved one, or any other factor that is negatively affecting your mental/emotional well-being. Someone knows this and says that you NEED to check out this place because it is a one stop shop to give you the tools, resources, and hands on assistance to get you moving in the right direction again.

You walk in and they have and provide.......

Go

",7.886383333333335,8.618695405000004,7.43,71.47833333333334,62.45,10.266666666666667,34.16666666666667,10.125756701596842,3.584866666666666,891,35,143,18,12,280,126,200,0.11,0.7709999999999999,0.12,0.0467,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,9,1,2,9,8,0,1,13,0,12,5,1,4,0,31,22,15,1,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,13,13,0,1,4,2,5,4,3,2,1,3,3,2,11,6,21,18,3,25,0,1,0,1,15,15,0,5,7,98,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978022965201214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224292694693211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148030466308451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579529006892139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436248349573326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118316739347375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782017724110348,0.08780305333744334,0.05201809705323709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061350026655709274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030199989381221,0.0,0.10324881199203102,0.09691610157779122,0.0,0.0935947064578219,0.0,0.044716495147990816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826085866567373,0.0866070478911485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6456786373897699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728094858132864,0.0,0.06786766819467452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606746169326416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562842895484312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633070329113286,0.0,0.14557522871384695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755230975615493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652242634646976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729630352217567,0.0,0.0,0.05337135450791949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955737800572204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552109354296709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114782673684365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Markual,2018/01/26,"Can you get post traumatic stress disorder from a breakup or ended relationship? I haven't been diagnosed or anything and i'm not a professional at all but I have been reading into the condition and taking assessments and everything seems to be pointing to PTSD. But, the thing is, the PTSD I may have seems to be triggered by the fact that me and my best friend are no longer friends. I get anxious and sometimes panicky thinking about him, I have flashbacks to when it ended, i go out of my way not to be reminded of him, and i cant sleep. 

I know online assessments can't diagnose me but it really feels like things are pointing towards some kind of ptsd in me about my friendship breakup. I'm not asking for a diagnosis but is it possible?",5.166041666666668,6.358076854166669,5.841277777777782,78.8315,68.65277777777777,9.648888888888887,33.84444444444444,9.888512548439397,3.392541111111111,593,28,112,14,10,193,86,144,0.095,0.7609999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.9096,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,1,7,0,17,3,1,1,2,27,29,13,0,0,9,0,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,1,0,1,7,1,0,0,2,1,17,5,18,23,3,13,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,6,4,85,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959892593549505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625611355948327,0.0,0.13207172053008426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825789931975247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867794062829113,0.0,0.0,0.16191175440104005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502529074990476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696757833363104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143216347001352,0.1009258690125381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829522461623752,0.0,0.1476192224231999,0.0,0.08028902737245701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711468685679366,0.077640261277345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901913192370336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670983808965593,0.15926472718164256,0.1353010316245762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954237415008416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131180396220716,0.0,0.09050346858980828,0.0,0.0,0.15167494759420028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572203105849468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137559941201494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397231763762288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182840093239362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106220145428704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771176938899692,0.09052240141100977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121363867633334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jadedjabroni,2018/01/26,"Dealing with ex partners with severe mental illness My ex boyfriend tried to commit suicide yesterday and was taken to the hospital . 

We broke up a year and a half ago but we’re on and off for a while. Never officially back together . Over the summer he found out I was dating other people and freaked out, but we got pst it and remained friends? I guess it wasn’t clear to him, even though I told him multiple times that I wanted him to date other people too , and he still kept holding out hope for us getting back together .

Earlier this month , he told me he couldn’t do this anymore , and was very insulting to me. I vented him on my private twitter which he somehow found; and yelled at me about it. Since then I blocked him and told him not to contact me again because I just figure sending a clear message was the best thing.

Yesterday I woke up to an angry email from him, accusing me of things I never did, and detailing how bad it was that I was dating other people while still hanging out with him (even though I acknowledged this and apologized if I was bad at communication well over seven months ago)

His email said a lot of terrible things about me , so I got very mad and responded that he not only violated my bouandries and told him to essentially “f off” and listed all the bad things he had done to me . 

His friend messaged me yesterday for his address, because he was nervous ex would commit suicide and eventually was taken to the hospital. 

I have my own mental struggles with depression / anxiety/ suicide / eating disorders and I did lash out him yesterday, when I know a normal person would have just ignored the message or not read it and I’m feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt that I am the one who put him in the suicide ward.

Does anyone have any experience with cutting out a person who is struggling with mental health so that you can continue to work on yours? ",9.4610283933518,7.368225288088645,9.062560595567868,70.27478272160666,60.662049861495845,12.127493074792245,39.737015235457065,10.686352973137794,4.161992936288089,1503,62,272,28,16,485,181,361,0.21,0.695,0.095,-0.9947,0,0,0,0,0,6,28.0,3,2,0,2,20,22,4,5,17,0,24,3,0,1,7,67,44,30,4,7,9,3,1,0,3,2,2,2,1,3,23,31,1,4,6,1,0,3,7,17,1,3,27,3,48,5,44,14,5,47,0,3,0,0,53,18,0,6,26,210,71,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559631011589461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598237315880092,0.0,0.06729806348697479,0.0,0.08724422777506892,0.0615118158343158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528952133800845,0.22035793340534576,0.10725338992506324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232080831657054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069489758153053,0.07576984426104147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082312045997376,0.0,0.07698457462371952,0.09002553038753701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001694943054718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620887651983015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605314393987258,0.0,0.0,0.04448110422184054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19291272422708328,0.13593334102726867,0.0,0.04596155078314172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407179130629154,0.0,0.0969106790037397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350973913038067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737568770262355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834691245405533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479034207224809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659641646276657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404362468229587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569830344173453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619352863721941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961185970089124,0.06690639605174913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296537465954588,0.15362688490757276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843579570416675,0.0,0.0,0.08799544595142929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836811745399092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938291258965867,0.0,0.07277104933143237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050853000661453,0.0,0.0,0.18393411675198304,0.0,0.3849067812867884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23377779342671476,0.0,0.17286337845479208,0.0,0.05129697048618041,0.0,0.0,0.3362426862281436,0.0,0.0597269686622884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058190507481114,0.0,0.0,0.14517163157186913,0.05188795228874482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790970689483674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404440134878503,0.0,0.0,0.124985057450849,0.0,0.0,0.05665085162369796
mentalhealth,CollinTheNoLife,2018/01/26,"Help me Hello I’m a struggling 9th grade student and I don’t know what to do to help myself. I can’t seem to focus and I’m always goofing off in class. Any ideas/Suggestions?
",-1.6109774436090198,0.10205068421052664,1.1218796992481188,96.68815789473686,107.94736842105264,3.2240601503759403,15.954887218045116,5.288315135182226,-0.6744481203007515,138,4,30,1,7,47,28,38,0.08,0.767,0.153,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,16,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657508258722788,0.0,0.0,0.2989172571648783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5892583332577574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415717990091637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40016076805651296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595256783477498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rdmdk,2018/01/26,"Who’s really driving? The past few years have gone by rather well and I felt quite comfortable with my work-life balance, but these last couple months have been very turbulent. Problems at home, problems at work, and it makes me wonder if I’m still in control or has someone else taken over? Was I ever in control? Or is this turbulence the result of the real me finally coming out to play? The constant conflict of the driver and passenger has really taken its toll on my professional and personal lives and it’s difficult to determine who’s steering the ship at times.",4.719023883696779,6.933458514018698,5.478442367601247,76.96030114226376,71.33644859813084,8.867705088265836,29.645898234683283,9.444778638647367,3.0519811007268967,459,19,77,11,9,149,77,107,0.128,0.8109999999999999,0.061,-0.8668,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,4,1,24,15,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,8,0,3,2,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,6,1,6,3,14,9,1,20,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,4,9,54,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314838713327908,0.0,0.19212537605710234,0.3988081139489504,0.0,0.19671874184782687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851883532728113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081918047137295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707041017949313,0.1947577681971192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833558927817364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492072909445994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698982295545366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186746904276334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190847002160112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697185055408305,0.0,0.15523738838522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34023769401564696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890991353517973,0.0,0.20236135961216656,0.2277907449138651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063896682346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198151096532433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366945518864486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466934968211898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985252086387874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928032094441145,0.2588631699994893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448946922477073
mentalhealth,vankata256,2018/01/26,"Short ""manic"" episodes while on antidepressants? Hey guys. I'm hitting my 6mo. mark on escitalopram 10mg daily for mild to moderate chronic depression. While I feel much better, I have days when I feel extremely energetic. It started about 3 months in. I've always been a low energy person and some days I feel like I have a thousand thoughts racing at once along with the emotion associated with them. It feels like I had way too much coffee while not having had any. I have the urge to go out and run for miles on to burn that energy.  

Yesterday was such a day. I ended up clearing everything video game related from my computer, social media and so on. I cleaned my desk up and tried to be productive with some degree of success. I actually wanted to make a change in my life. I couldn't fall asleep until 4am but that's mostly because of my poor schedule due to late night gaming...

Those episodes last a day or two after which I'm back to normal. I still can't help but wonder, has anyone else experienced that before? Is it me actually being ""normal"" again?",3.2642490372272164,5.550008292682924,4.734967907573815,80.33246469833121,75.82926829268294,7.632862644415917,24.44801026957638,8.532816995589336,1.8167560975609758,840,28,156,17,19,280,141,205,0.057,0.873,0.07,-0.3571,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,2,8,6,0,0,7,0,14,3,1,1,1,28,27,13,0,4,4,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,8,9,0,0,6,3,1,3,3,2,0,2,5,5,19,4,29,18,5,39,0,2,0,0,8,13,0,5,24,102,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.2800853014778361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119409763384301,0.0,0.0,0.09759004334280487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034380360466703,0.14704042622265218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034843448189302,0.0,0.08748085996651207,0.0,0.12211434052828568,0.0,0.0,0.12692075068818515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181194121388147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370201946128492,0.0,0.12360282766103325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988212911571945,0.16142665874106948,0.12710507871083726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897531700311599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902468818789173,0.20504362012013186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155863798570691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209501962983528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961900741833286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169777928742952,0.16188274767326086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136361439269907,0.14022106329772588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579239245488652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454634348737605,0.0,0.2109890974971883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346720980049492,0.2812138250921655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528308387836054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530524224064907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628785729361973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157537029907122,0.0,0.11460530101843172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392895104465348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974321946452328,0.0,0.14018600702205186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464446095908458,0.11390959975924853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562779762964332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,healthandwealthfunda,2018/01/26,How do you deal with Lack of concentration? Please suggest how to improve concentration?,6.629285714285714,10.631664785714287,5.682857142857145,66.7871428571429,79.71428571428571,8.514285714285714,35.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,4.429685714285716,73,4,10,2,2,22,12,14,0.122,0.583,0.295,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6845991361500883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7289197642968345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,juaninthamiddle,2018/01/26,"How To Help A Depressed Friend? I met this in a may we started talking and we liked each other and we developed feelings for each other really fast. I could tell she was a sad girl and she told about her personal life and her problems that affect her now. She's 17 and I'm 18. We never dated because we were not ready and we would leave each other and not talk for months.  I texted her on New Year's and she never replied up until Tuesday at 3AM apologizing to me for everything she made me go through. She then started talking about her depression and how she has no motivation for anything. I forgave her and told her she needs help but she said that going to the doctor or to therapy doesnt help. I told her if she needed company and she said no, she said that probably because of the feelings that we have for each other and she doesnt wanna see me. I'm putting feelings to the side cause I wanna help her. She then texted me again last night at 3AM and told me that I would hate her because she just starting harming herself again. Today she told me that she has never been happy, that she would lie to me when she would tell me she was happy. She has not told anyone else but me about this, not even her close cousin. She tells me that she wanted to take her life last night because of all the arguments that her mom and her mom's boyfriend have. She said that she can't take it anymore and that her childhood affected her because of her bad experiences. She was also sexually abused by her ex boyfriend. She's stopped going to school anymore, (she's still in high school) she's doing drugs, she's self harming and the worst of all is that her parents don't care for her. She says that she called the suicide lifeline but that doesnt help either. She does not want help from anyone because she says she is afraid of hurting people and she can't take anymore guilt.  I care for this girl a lot and I want to help her but I don't know what to do. I also don't know why she telling me about this stuff if she doesn't want my help. What advice can yall give me to help this girl?
I care for her a lot and I really felt like crying when she said she was going to take her life yesterday. 

Tl;Dr how can I help this girl.",2.8284779516358465,4.389480192982457,3.5265742057847334,91.72975817923188,74.92105263157895,6.3332385016595545,23.50853485064011,6.885778809224403,0.5973375533428165,1752,51,379,16,37,553,173,456,0.179,0.732,0.08900000000000001,-0.9931,1,0,1,0,1,2,32.0,7,1,0,1,17,20,1,2,11,0,32,5,0,8,5,82,76,36,1,16,14,5,4,2,1,5,5,7,0,6,28,31,0,1,7,0,0,5,19,12,0,0,20,12,99,8,41,50,10,43,0,4,1,0,118,9,0,6,31,272,127,4,0.0,0.07179355043652688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059211399914778265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691341779826483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027781505327456,0.08473695846988549,0.062085340811436164,0.04986339959979885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059315514755056,0.2216239089489954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061872877235105775,0.0,0.1853377510813452,0.06224635556231235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048379087878643375,0.0,0.06655926400042436,0.0,0.0,0.10437841997237436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202015412291052,0.05302589928643165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026938067240174,0.0,0.050618207757911295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002152517337741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445765302853761,0.05927220311522746,0.0,0.0,0.09191388914513278,0.0,0.0581793930092601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681449294362458,0.0,0.0,0.05812693710127442,0.1377470391113186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900610472996898,0.0,0.05982367091179296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061463702034124,0.06402050336355458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648667406749037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660135548268106,0.09878380149650806,0.0,0.06415991160196513,0.0,0.0,0.1283972314373003,0.05920597979360408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030290851304879,0.0,0.05733516357282566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193306853181534,0.048365262239847856,0.0,0.0,0.0898588267813621,0.140200642923811,0.058521711330448076,0.0,0.11372604551305815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728206211823087,0.0,0.0,0.042007997823034375,0.05290802583903135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533018818513324,0.057979926400598285,0.0,0.060913340357403936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763566975172348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881921186816805,0.09637298295804132,0.0,0.12264798935073765,0.048285282889021466,0.0,0.06321237743569705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866546252082647,0.0,0.04839015606328828,0.05065899298494339,0.0,0.0,0.06936521643671036,0.06627960315081527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223549351149512,0.14610860835866427,0.21184603490412945,0.0,0.06929410367073073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574356819970785,0.3473988958738629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295878600045805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467633184513245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217592228289402,0.0,0.0,0.03902031500948565
mentalhealth,Erickjmz,2018/01/26,"if you feel depressed try doing something! I want to share a small story not of success but of where I am now. I have been dealing with depression for years, have had meds with awful side effects, have had months where I ask myself when will I finally kill myself, images of me jumping from a bridge happening over and over in my head, not wanting to do anything, break downs in front of my parents, awful college grades(I was a good student back then so feeling guilty), days where all I wanted to do was playing video games, playing with my dogs and that's.



What I want to say is, do something. When I am depressed I keep reminding myself about the uselessness of everything I do, the lack of motivation, being afraid of what happens if I do something, even feeling afraid of becoming a better human. But after some cycles I have learned that doing physical activity can calm my mind, last time I started just because I couldn't keep my mind silent and it was killing, yeah I didn't have a drive for being Mr BigMuscles, but all I wanted was feeling emptiness in my mind, and it worked so I kept going, and now months after I am feeling good, anxiety is still there but I don't mind it that much. I have gained much more activities to do, now I am actively helping my family. 



Not saying physical activity will do for you, but what about drawing, what about going for a walk, reading, listening to music, talking with your grandpas, going out. Do something, not because you are feeling motivated to do so, just do something, I am sure motivation will come after.


If you wonder, I am 21, and been dealing with anxiety basically my whole life(palms have been sweaty since I was 5 years old, just as my feet), depression came like 4 years ago.
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mentalhealth,Endersoul86,2018/01/26,"I keep thinking the worst about everything and worry for no reason. I need help trying to stop thinking like this. I used to not be this way. Talking with my wife about everything, we began to notice that I have started to worry a lot about everything for no reason. I used to not worry as much, used to be more laid back, and relaxed a lot more. About 3 years ago I started to become more worried about everything: job, money, life, a lot. It hasn't gotten to the point where I worry 24/7, but it might be making me sick. 

In the past 3 years, I've had 3 different jobs, been unemployed because I was let go due to downsizing (found out that was a lie, they just wanted to fire me because my boss didn't like me) graduated with my Masters, got married, moved(still living in Oklahoma), and got a cat (the wife thought the kitty would help with stopping depression). Before that, nothing major happened to me. The only major thing was that I finished up my B.A. in English Education.

I think i lost a lot of confidence due to being fired. That situation was very toxic and it shot my confidence. My current job is a lot better and I trust my bosses, but I don't think I can do a good job.
So far I am doing well enough, so that's something.

Every day I always worry that something that could go wrong. I try and distract myself, but I don't enjoy the things i used to as much right now. I probably will eventually, but I want to stop worrying as much as I do. I don't know what I can do and I will be calling a counselor tomorrow to try and schedule an appointment. ",4.7571153846153855,5.25660919871795,5.886948717948719,80.64138461538462,69.19230769230771,8.675897435897436,29.70256410256411,8.697196308434329,2.2254033333333334,1218,44,240,19,20,407,159,312,0.166,0.72,0.115,-0.9134,8,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,1,3,12,13,0,1,17,0,31,2,0,9,0,51,57,18,0,5,7,2,2,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,16,13,0,4,9,1,1,2,9,5,1,0,14,2,39,8,35,32,15,31,0,2,0,0,8,9,0,6,21,174,55,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651073620543767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061114752763053726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056477101201906875,0.0,0.08954663298588539,0.0811177219703167,0.062498974277263336,0.0,0.0,0.06495892864175462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499878315242405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864237906918857,0.0,0.0,0.047367986856380113,0.0,0.06326079241114646,0.0,0.0,0.07673769434712513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758915830041606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188324242470501,0.0,0.2640418802544319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053211617245654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348456365575868,0.06160483171594914,0.11748640601838935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494996514491788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846150658643374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29154386145831895,0.06528409916938277,0.0,0.0,0.040365187790790215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510571966063331,0.05187860738692125,0.07176612173690715,0.0,0.06485607073611738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017734274260616,0.3122149946547936,0.0,0.0,0.049027217000846016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791689063141294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197854551986868,0.054460879833488886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047549023597903,0.08362121674349056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055860635228781916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011457936166716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943225155433375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791895388731632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510338820963987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272432715532184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825588089725257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308796353301735,0.0,0.0,0.10397397108416867,0.0,0.0,0.18421785115121028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059034848680440975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759138747436567,0.18825046037267296,0.0,0.05830963464218245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959943772122028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537425113908761,0.0,0.06060242394860915,0.08664325525255186,0.05829973051885407,0.0,0.0,0.06603871642963878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5221312007483438,0.0,0.05217546539130696,0.08030403265607271,0.0,0.09459641363745247
mentalhealth,goelectric9,2018/01/26,"Wondering about my friend I have a friend from high school who I think has severe social anxiety and something else that I'm not sure what it is, and I was just wondering if anyone here could help me understand what it is maybe so I can relate to her better and try to understand what she's going through. 

So I'm a quiet-until-you-get-to-know-me type person, I also have mild social anxiety in certain social situations. So I tend to befriend the quieter, less extroverted type people. I have this friend who was always super super hard to talk to. Sometimes I, who had known her since she was little, would talk to her, and she wouldn't respond. She would ignore people a lot when they spoke to her, even people who were just trying to be nice and make conversation. 

There was a boy who had a crush on her and tried to pursue her but she basically ignored him instead of just turning him down nicely. She peed her pants in the ninth grade (15 years old) because she was too scared to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. The teacher was her cousin. 

She stopped talking to me for four months straight. At this point, I was about her only friend. I saw her every day at school and we had a class together (PE) where we had to walk around the track. I would always walk with her and talk to her. She was always a lot quieter than me, but at this point it was like talking to a brick wall. She never responded to a single thing I said. And I don't think I did anything to hurt her feelings. I kept having a truly one-sided conversation, if you could call it that, because it was better than the awkward silence. 

If a teacher called on her, she took FOREVER to respond. She holds grudges immaturely and for a long time for stupid reasons. 

I texted her just to say hi and ask her how she's been and she left me, one of her only friends, on read and ignored me. 

When we were 15 (about to turn 16) I wanted to get a part time job, and so I suggested she and I try to get one together at the same place. I did this because I knew she had a very hard time socially, and I thought it would be good for her, and I also thought it would help me as well to have a friend around. She completely brushed off any suggestions I made and made lame excuses. 

I would invite her to things and she wouldn't come. 

Sorry for the rambling. I'm not trying to bash her or criticize her, I'm just genuinely wondering what's going on. ",4.402885802469137,5.0203618888888935,5.070985082304528,85.75672453703706,70.02880658436214,8.05030864197531,27.32741769547325,8.07648339933343,1.53673683127572,1882,59,395,24,32,607,214,486,0.085,0.79,0.125,0.9661,1,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,3,1,1,4,26,25,1,2,24,0,42,0,0,5,3,79,77,35,0,14,13,1,3,1,6,8,0,3,0,2,24,26,0,6,13,1,0,7,6,8,1,3,30,8,78,17,56,35,6,42,0,2,1,0,87,23,0,9,13,282,102,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911590659372164,0.17030114367464755,0.0,0.0,0.04639401760097369,0.0,0.10438090232913384,0.0,0.0,0.047703147074447935,0.0,0.0561417621706711,0.12146596807360335,0.1275586959936954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476442528398285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067549802539547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932673610013752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058768121928537885,0.07153057629929314,0.0,0.0,0.10894111783456298,0.0,0.0,0.043998227217372836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056991609161396575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045060685112218966,0.0,0.05748086718156997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03449562702625601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162537833451854,0.0,0.10693119299307567,0.0,0.11631820490935264,0.05722226261683026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222891574313585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145695281688457,0.07208140445156952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303419255376506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770085616666666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749360743313705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412455004616543,0.0,0.0,0.033330339119792864,0.06837742502956436,0.0,0.06037525777420804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600160519502588,0.0,0.1291086104500219,0.04553941969243983,0.0,0.06853922963182969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445499247513464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052617826664961516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158862100003603,0.0,0.13868912527403693,0.10377341679116282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738789214436447,0.0,0.14189183100081162,0.05956974108092305,0.07127857306368411,0.0,0.12898567926746893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824151820536735,0.0,0.0,0.07014466418160842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489574925233937,0.054253712465789465,0.06830318074193174,0.13809075001111426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707263444670874,0.0,0.05643481698491201,0.07668557346510077,0.0,0.27817925655586073,0.0,0.05252144164540831,0.06747434691966862,0.07637012577488671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703752970701704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429942296633383,0.0,0.0,0.2741755411582803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064873399781112,0.08742915921638214,0.0,0.10832297187243377,0.11934423790221205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579832555387543,0.2315948839880137,0.14841418853718985,0.0,0.1420452147839382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629116616036467,0.04023972607293887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061340720673324085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195498234593544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907822097340866,0.0,0.0,0.043933411333150416
mentalhealth,highonlyf3,2018/01/26,"Feel like I lack emotions a bit, and also don't know how to react when people are hurt or need my help, don't know if I have a problem or I'm just a bit awkward. Don't know if this is the right place to be posting but just tell me to remove if I' in the wrong place. Not too sure whats wrong with me but I'm a tiny bit messed in the head I guess everyone is, but over all I feel like I'm still quite normal.

I have pretty much shut down a lot of my feelings/emotions during the past couple of years. Turned kind of cold/emotionless about things but mainly keep them to myself. I mean a recent example, was with a friend and he started to get a muscle cramp in his foot, and I basically just didn't know what to do/say in the moment, my mind was kinda blank/thinking 'oh'. He seemed to be ok after a minute so I just asked 'are you okay' and he said 'yeah' (or something like that).

I genuinely find it hard to care or remember to be the first to text/stay in contact other people who are in my life. I am stuck in my own head about 90% of the time. I think this might come from only having like 1 friend during the past like 4 years, aside from occasional boyfriends over the years. So I am just not used to knowing what to do to comfort people. I'm used to figuring out or solving all my own problems in my head. And sometimes this can get hard but I usually manage to get over it within a couple hours max.

I have kind of accepted my fate that I ride solo, I find it quite difficult to open up to people or make my own decisions when I'm around people who I like/want a friendship or relationship with. Although everyone says I'm pretty normal, and it doesn't matter that I'm a bit shy, apparently people find that cute.

I am pretty much okay with this cause it's just what I'm used to but part of me also wishes to have a real proper relationship in the future after I've fixed some of my issues/views/opinions on things. I feel like I don't know how I can get out of my own head and share my life with others more? I don't know how I'm gonna change into that person, or will it just happen over time?

Theres a lot more but don't know what to include/where to begin without sounding like a nutter hahaha. If you need any more info just message me or something. Any help or advice is appreciated.",3.093663761801018,3.8218406975308654,4.528327281529896,88.05610021786495,73.09465020576131,7.199128540305011,22.730331638828375,7.285733465282438,0.6479188574195116,1793,41,398,18,34,599,212,486,0.078,0.7390000000000001,0.182,0.9956,1,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,1,3,23,28,0,1,25,4,32,8,5,9,3,102,78,38,0,12,32,0,5,7,2,3,3,3,0,1,26,18,0,1,22,0,0,3,11,8,0,1,5,8,44,20,62,67,21,50,0,1,0,0,23,26,0,21,27,258,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314978312611767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033595105803905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789301400297532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057529023055302886,0.060414676465419134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28221049557376193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588843140968749,0.06638660561663487,0.06836357797311257,0.05566781700196122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301035912981228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538650759015587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350192116305485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980274436028742,0.13850210398360446,0.0,0.0,0.17719537858136666,0.05496910505066338,0.0,0.0,0.09985661817839253,0.0,0.135053401696889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119057471517548,0.0,0.05714675200032467,0.0,0.11578074457119727,0.0,0.2652912967326693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663215270275691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364158041760587,0.0,0.0691812828545522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057440742523466023,0.0,0.13459181381286073,0.28412509487633697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129162437108956,0.2525760099654217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988195501266576,0.0,0.0,0.04313699329879744,0.0,0.0,0.07039443464204627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855580623661328,0.06525177463513925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501208865977387,0.09583569095440532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266355143415267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04914943157978867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998144817743375,0.12338175915716555,0.26881269038446903,0.05642714683616126,0.13503656170245115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061891887364140474,0.197237391862566,0.0,0.12367279892506686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747106657848035,0.0,0.07355621137135876,0.0,0.0,0.06380836152339711,0.13876389055938296,0.07320634591260293,0.05518850641928146,0.06147218211222271,0.1027831292922765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883122360318006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950135911271976,0.06391474618192566,0.0,0.045741169581680986,0.06888053997119027,0.051608775763346784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090731494489715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056484187080437426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586657136645982,0.08281684485019206,0.0,0.0,0.0753654983661327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029230828602392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744305025460718,0.07117415894189445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431436158442996,0.06229518870828036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131230489756916,0.0,0.12484712912927455
mentalhealth,musicfixesfeelings,2018/01/26,"Sometimes my thoughts are screaming and going all over Today I had a test and in the middle of in the middle of it my thoughts just went wild for a minute and were extremely loud. Like I couldn't think anything because my mind was just full and racing around haphazardly.

What is this? It happens quite a bit and I hate it. ",2.0550223214285737,4.574363921875001,2.5413392857142867,93.126875,81.65625,4.9071428571428575,23.205357142857146,6.18269132825596,0.42540446428571466,257,9,52,2,7,79,46,64,0.104,0.853,0.044,-0.5839,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,14,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,6,2,6,1,7,6,3,10,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,2,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267577337551305,0.2453017734374945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797536116193165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30083395897567233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660387514215907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24367178282163035,0.0,0.0,0.2720528513849187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462192620741273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27823132025997355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29308594720640496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725302769727549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656408742349874,0.0,0.4375187145131289,0.0,0.0,0.26119328386888424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554416233491967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Moar27,2018/01/26,"Any advice would help I'v gone to countless doctors and psychiatrists since I was a child. They all have diagnosed me with something different. Depression, bipolarism, ADHD, anxiety, etc. All I know is its awful. Iv used so many different drugs in the past not because I wanted to get high but because I just wanted to be In a little less pain. I'm not asking for people to link a suicide hotline number or some other bullshit I just need some genuine advice. All the doctors give me is Prozac or Lamictol or other useless crap and tell me it works (although it clearly doesn't and I let them know) It doesn't matter what I say to any doctor because of my previous substance use they refuse to give me anything else (for example Tramadol or lyrica) that would help me out at the very least short term so I could get well enough to find a solution long term. I'v gone on the streets and the only thing I'm able to find Is weed. Its gotten to the point where I'm considering shooting myself in the foot or something to get Vicodin. Although I'm not and addict, and I don't want to get high. I just need something to get me through a week without being in agony. Any advice would help",4.112121212121213,5.769452268398275,4.790757575757578,83.57280303030305,71.77056277056278,7.2112554112554115,28.850649350649352,7.793537801064563,1.876101298701299,938,37,175,12,18,301,130,231,0.134,0.772,0.093,-0.8791,2,0,4,1,0,1,20.0,0,0,3,1,7,5,1,0,12,1,15,13,2,2,4,45,39,16,1,9,13,0,0,0,0,3,11,1,0,1,10,8,0,1,5,0,0,2,7,4,1,0,4,1,21,1,25,28,11,21,0,2,0,0,13,14,1,7,5,116,31,4,0.10032701272966377,0.0,0.0,0.10937125269860873,0.1205735728077148,0.2941151870946516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046774270480948,0.0,0.07674989013108313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256058306102135,0.0,0.09379221375103812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347524727501316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010295598131059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641150905344755,0.10182980605358162,0.0,0.20964074957268214,0.0,0.3080668462450296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634748304794194,0.0,0.08381034545454316,0.0,0.0,0.10366462325073557,0.11189113944168486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833941441156555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262083616532522,0.19248562501349747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20174124549008746,0.21200199456823504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027420483634016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259116787915827,0.0,0.0,0.10055402360706887,0.0,0.08878624915877828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171584396056617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878241740016668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630321408924856,0.10675501512470456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577348588858073,0.0695541182777643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484145558586793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978406735406247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299154168072083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317099078009837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097414681931653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769023121781372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665280927459402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330065341098885,0.0,0.08278029259673643,0.17752641447367146,0.0,0.08047627797961786,0.0,0.09020603323382193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671166009359763,0.0,0.07303926015614988,0.0,0.0,0.213808293961602,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NuggetQueen21,2018/01/26,"Is there a word for this? First-time poster here. I feel like when I am home with my family, I am absolutely miserable, angry, disconnected, and ungrateful. I have been told this by several people. But when I'm at work/out with friends/ anywhere else, I'm happy as a clam. This doesn't sound like bipolar, but do I have a split personality?",3.0527272727272714,5.207024575757579,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636367,75.96969696969697,8.642424242424243,24.63636363636364,9.2995712137729,2.1592000000000007,266,9,53,7,6,90,49,66,0.115,0.787,0.098,-0.2607,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,8,1,0,0,0,7,12,6,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,6,4,6,10,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550297260204944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28779923185945994,0.0,0.15436325520301647,0.21809847158708326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25967860670503656,0.0,0.0,0.23586546892970436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32498574131275004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062296871174141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982974995430939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21164890362605868,0.2665665169052636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448895922723966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917166541410729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222539759899388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MattTheScorpio,2018/01/27,"Mental Health twitch community/stream Howdy everyone! My name is Matt and I  will be pursuing my masters in clinical psychology to help children/young adults with mental health problems.  I am new to reddit but I wanted to create a thread here to inform anyone in need that I run a mental health community/twitch stream. Its almost every night from 9Pm Central - 12 ish. 

The stream consists usually of my wife and I playing games with friends, drinking beers, and chatting with our community.

I am doing this because the internet has become an incredibly toxic community, especially in the gaming world, and I noticed no one is going at the gamers head on giving them an open place to talk about issues.

The stream consists of my wife and I chatting with friends, drinking beers, and helping anyone that feels the need to talk about problems. It's also a fun time where we interact with everyone and have a fun time. 

https://www.twitch.tv/mattthescorpio

This is the link, I would love to keep this thread as clean as possible! I'm not sure entirely how this all works but hopefully anyone that sees this and needs it, or is simply interested in checking it out will come by! 

<3

MattTheScorpio",6.200246947835738,8.535576910377356,5.915982241953388,74.85942841287459,67.63207547169812,8.761820199778025,30.39511653718091,9.325443323948027,2.969563485016648,963,38,155,20,17,299,127,212,0.045,0.754,0.201,0.9902,0,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,1,2,6,11,0,0,13,0,13,11,1,1,2,38,26,15,0,8,4,2,1,0,2,3,5,0,1,1,12,17,4,1,3,9,1,3,2,2,0,1,0,2,16,9,27,22,1,19,0,0,1,1,21,11,0,3,5,100,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206294871920489,0.0,0.0,0.096336767990567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526982814288641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343507081762825,0.13304544143817956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377095520180857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360220069434495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149796007626488,0.2302212125166888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091132487018661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614375791364335,0.0,0.0,0.1155621456914094,0.06846371147428591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236330646291808,0.3841497776420085,0.0,0.0,0.1614918946226561,0.0,0.0,0.11965010744488774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573540344005074,0.0,0.107075884059747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087254390789648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642047543304716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679724586401581,0.0,0.11634699621445513,0.0,0.11304935797313613,0.0,0.0,0.13715155486376335,0.0,0.0,0.08163100750035125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586152780643106,0.0,0.0,0.13580752796035722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305397475256349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599595599283138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353795767465955,0.0,0.0,0.1936523194228635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048960738730604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326764880833305,0.0,0.07105407956928862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770082049260433,0.0,0.0,0.08557572447324227,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SubstantialWrongdoer,2018/01/27,"Need therapy but worried about confidentiality I know this is not a concern for most people, but I am unusually horrible. Could someone spell out more clearly what types of things they would have a duty to report?",4.762894736842107,7.8535408157894775,5.815000000000001,70.2925,75.05263157894737,8.010526315789475,30.552631578947373,8.841846274778883,3.1573473684210533,173,8,27,4,4,57,35,38,0.18600000000000005,0.721,0.093,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,1,11,7,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,5,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,23,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266896287879697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486959814115887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033950003167034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28366754762631896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466891329688558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679225259924622,0.0,0.27183493109384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41553285928945793,0.0,0.2906632317971796,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lightecojak,2018/01/27,"Trying to figure out if my relative has bipolar disorder or not? I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but I'd like input from others if the symptoms I'm describing sound similar to someone they know who has bipolar disorder?

My relative has a bunch of personality problems that seem to have gotten worse over time. He's very easily distracted by random things and doesn't have good time management at all. He loves to say ""I don't have time"", but a lot of his time is wasted on things like making 4.5 page long random emails to people. He still hasn't taken care of important stuff like calling the VA to help take care of his father which could save him a lot of time. Also, he gets up extremely early and ends up taking long naps in the afternoon (1-3 hours) despite my insistence that he should be on a strict sleeping schedule

Whenever he talks about his business ideas, he talks like a person who's possessed and won't stop talking about it even after repeating the same points over and over again. Once at a family dinner, everything he said made up around 95% of the entire dinner conversation. Then he'll forget the other big moments that happened at dinner like somebody yelling. 

 He runs a few businesses that are severely in debt and yet he still thinks that he can get bailed out by getting more loans, but he never pays them off. He thinks that everything is going great and keeps having these random ideas and is extremely confident that he can become a multi-millionaire with all of his products. But I've barely seen any traction from them and he's failed at marketing his old products adequately which has led to dry sales. He only thinks about new product ideas and even wants to start a new business instead of managing the cashflow for his other businesses which is abysmal right now. He's also terrible at delegating tasks which leaves the employees aimless or having to do things by themselves. Whenever somebody tries to point out the faults in the way he's thinking, he gets pretty agitated. He even acts two-faced to the employees by telling them everything is great and we'll all be rich when he vents to his close family that he's broke. 

Outside of his business investments, he's known for risky practices like trying to call me when he's driving his van. He even once tried to call me while driving a semi truck. 

But the worst part about him is when he lashes out at his siblings whenever he sends emails to them. His brother is a lot richer and he's demanding $300K from his brother to cover his debts and he sent an email telling him to grow some balls and do it in Gigantic sized letters (at least 50 pt font). Then he tries to guilt trip everybody into helping him by bringing up these incidents that happened decades ago which should have easily been resolved by now. He even sent an email to his sister saying that she should look in a mirror saying everything is her fault. Then he claims everything is great for him and that she's responsible for her marriage failing since she's so negative saying she ignores her husband and can't ""please"" her husband anymore when all his sister did was send an email saying that their deceased Mom told them to look out for his mental well being. 

My family can hardly stand this behavior anymore and his brother floated the idea he could have bipolar disorder. I've checked out some of the symptoms and it definitely sounds like he's going through hypomania a lot of the time and he takes anti-depressants which could make it worse. But I just wanted some opinions from others who have Bipolar disorder or know somebody that has bipolar disorder if what I've described sounds somewhat familiar to you at all? If not, I'd like to hear any other opinions from anybody that read this.  ",9.099052841475576,7.892277785310732,8.381176470588237,72.06267696909275,60.69491525423729,11.606247922897973,37.77268195413759,10.59048541779884,3.9284314057826526,3024,120,533,58,34,951,324,708,0.131,0.746,0.123,-0.7515,4,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,1,1,7,3,26,30,0,2,32,0,46,12,1,4,6,97,89,42,0,13,17,9,1,8,0,6,7,11,0,2,41,28,3,3,14,3,8,14,10,11,1,0,11,15,47,19,88,66,21,89,0,3,3,1,121,36,0,21,45,334,88,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081449638219922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168437756902112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796492297881395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137005218208874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051030743483222334,0.05359044345955547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331013973735111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560343139007614,0.0,0.1168918039351172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373062676030132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049373299818636494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284928327139448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077227825945594,0.0,0.0,0.1893106603939065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575967360982177,0.0,0.1621206274599392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979823630770398,0.0,0.06515739424847201,0.04808086827019056,0.0,0.1896005919932542,0.0,0.0,0.10138330489028106,0.0,0.051351275953613065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646086054912937,0.0,0.07684648421239312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645284749639683,0.0,0.0,0.2588484411011989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095243481508453,0.0,0.0,0.06300782658799238,0.0,0.0,0.06069811274589997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240458970104682,0.0,0.0,0.10146032970624597,0.09627587925590994,0.0,0.0,0.1949401384513672,0.05173738135396805,0.05424159940303593,0.07652877531232474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776936972416244,0.0,0.0,0.06713747869200469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04421200205735372,0.1107282520728957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060152166281781265,0.1220969288095908,0.0,0.043597681693348135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062076585710381764,0.0,0.03974142302300125,0.10010666278543168,0.0,0.0629248216438387,0.10837990617616998,0.0,0.0,0.058319379302760585,0.0,0.05485157354167407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573397712243737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895460351546714,0.05452849692419045,0.22793275579679584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052185851958792134,0.0,0.06476009536503062,0.0,0.047419218975549376,0.0,0.057365657359817225,0.0,0.04857065817392252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057440518851594,0.0,0.09155845371929114,0.04792564688788739,0.0,0.0,0.06562256123479826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916370722527918,0.12930212482314266,0.13822520265176172,0.1002078571363623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425107044595573,0.14692428069141045,0.0,0.0,0.2005574166057119,0.0,0.0,0.0547757855413126,0.0,0.19459704317603532,0.0,0.055997470980668235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472985167163917,0.06762266572704424,0.04550132814564484,0.0,0.0,0.05154139272754299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683663345036227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neverdieTRX,2018/01/27,Talking to oneselve Is it normal to talk to yourselve in your mind? I dont mean thinking about something but actually having a conversation about a subject and using complete sentences. And i dont mean talking to a voice or something like that just Talking to yourselve in complete sentences,8.975128205128208,9.630011384615386,8.189230769230772,67.2224358974359,60.153846153846146,8.471794871794872,48.10256410256411,7.793537801064563,4.682941025641027,240,16,33,2,3,75,33,52,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.5927,0,0,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,11,8,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,9,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.17339963320543192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37260879320106416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41650229363271796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681027106817091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871126131925692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941606550934505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409829743292213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27358861064941664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5712813893112452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385646247939485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346695392090795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ModaffyDuck,2018/01/27,"How do I deal with teachers/adults saying ""We're all tired"" when I tell them I'm tired? I suffer from bipolar disorder. One huge problem with my depression is that it keeps me awake at night, and it wakes me up a ton. It doesn't help that I have 8 AM classes every day this semester. I'm only keeping at it because I love what I am studying. Not everybody knows about my condition, obviously, so when somebody asks what's wrong, I typically say that I'm tired, but I always get the response ""well, we're all tired, I didn't get sleep either last night.""

That still doesn't change the fact that I'm incredibly tired and have no energy! I'm empathetic about them being tired, because I obviously understand that. However, why do people have to say that? I don't get it! It always screws with me for the rest of the day, like my sleeping problem is a burden to other people? Any help would be appreciated.",4.1367382896433185,5.372713150837994,5.469385474860334,80.37431456811345,71.12290502793297,8.636183927804039,27.735711216158148,9.057496981413335,2.1762656639449944,710,25,141,14,13,238,103,179,0.239,0.6679999999999999,0.094,-0.9748,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,0,8,10,1,0,6,0,16,12,3,1,5,21,30,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,17,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,7,1,1,1,3,19,3,13,26,5,12,0,2,0,2,11,4,1,0,9,88,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17087967442135502,0.0,0.0,0.06982743437617793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599401964083898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518826304904196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862417926586618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244308135214344,0.10586086559665324,0.08844005025075301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768272624657553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651420352357322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094167411217475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765146243622964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253735974695232,0.0,0.0,0.05643146569200351,0.08369971849184768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050165348636981286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267471737953746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927206252529268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958013334862298,0.0780944594333279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237385234940236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965060442862049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449710809345447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551276249333025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200215782173513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974879087699697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7081086773940278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689581789492808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232365224851972,0.0,0.09265473719932116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294250680695807,0.11226689411797193,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,humancodeine,2018/01/27,"I think everyone is dangerous I was raised from birth until 6 years old in a violence ridden part of the Caribbean. I was surrounded by death already at a young age, I can recall my first witness of a shooting when I was 3 1/2 years old. I did not have a stable living situation either, so my family was always going from house to house but we primarily stayed in these type of areas. I moved to USA, specifically MA, to start 2nd grade. I like to think I'm a healthy person but I have lost the ability to have connections with people, I can trust someone, I can care for someone but I'm always mentally prepared for them to become violent and play out these vicious situations in my mind repeatedly. it's reached the point where I now become worried about the integrity of people in my friend's/partners own lives. I just always feel trigger happy, this is doing a damper on my mind and heart. My mom told me today I need to not be so cold and I came here to ask about it. I might just go to therapy, even though ik therapy will just purge me and make things worse before it get's better, which frightens me but it seems like the only outlet. I don't even know if I'm asking for advice right now haha I guess I wanted to vent but also see if anyone can understand where I come from. Or atleast try to. But thank you for reading this if you did!",3.828555555555557,5.113182337037038,5.146111111111111,82.21250000000003,71.92592592592592,8.214814814814815,26.092592592592588,8.697196308434329,1.8337925925925929,1061,34,210,19,20,354,162,270,0.105,0.727,0.168,0.9643,0,0,0,1,0,0,23.0,1,2,1,3,17,13,3,0,11,1,20,1,1,2,0,39,46,20,1,5,16,2,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,9,0,0,6,2,0,6,3,4,0,1,9,3,33,9,34,34,3,35,0,1,1,0,10,13,0,7,17,143,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154760159407572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467624919481373,0.0831032972861883,0.2594046461744088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266197819489517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429886192619555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295388376220346,0.08842668136946732,0.0,0.0,0.09190714810172594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885466558134505,0.10595146730887704,0.0,0.0,0.08951627420853513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727389993625422,0.0,0.0,0.09929823402023663,0.0,0.0,0.09796477187827887,0.0,0.052544132882663866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839271496023632,0.0,0.0,0.08028689551522251,0.0,0.05429293795851666,0.0,0.11811814505798053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447754466539145,0.0,0.0,0.11062279008077354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314349368691754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23981515750257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711069086286469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153830608161728,0.0,0.18352323916281096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343892314613922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693661639458729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047250411360142,0.11024072220126163,0.2098553909748922,0.12170766707963085,0.0,0.11044853471040476,0.0,0.0770539824665366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808920950180025,0.0,0.0,0.07903442655807742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253321653228916,0.0,0.14408750452912747,0.09073730965259748,0.0,0.0,0.09823622956950408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394625956409878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874552191643963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280930153194734,0.09460316979737812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233616681863276,0.0,0.0,0.17609900192973124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355379282698668,0.11076290818940863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956738594810846,0.2376788943514813,0.0,0.06903859322807618,0.133173093394956,0.1020990428067545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985022438435485,0.09929823402023663,0.0,0.07055359422774972,0.0,0.0,0.10818244636157652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129361012423889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553391328313504,0.10590146043401374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383974735816445
mentalhealth,RideToNowhere,2018/01/27,"How can I overcome humiliating experiences? I obsess over any humiliation I have faced in my life. It has severely effected my self-esteem and sometimes makes me feel suicidal. Today at work, I had a particularly humiliating experience (thankfully it was at the very end of my shift) and afterwards I couldn't cope, I broke down mentally and couldn't stop yelling ""Please fucking kill me!"" Right in front of the store managers and at the cash registers where I saw customers and other employees looking at me concerned and confused.

Every single day, since I've had a bad humiliating experience back in 5th grade, I haven't been the same person. I have such a fragile self image that I can go from being happy and carefree to feeling suicidal in an instant. I really want help. Every once in a while I'll have a nervous breakdown and SINCERELY ask my mother to help me help myself because I feel too embarrassed to admit I need help in real life. I don't know what to do with myself.",7.104723320158104,7.611492239130435,8.120592885375494,66.63507905138341,64.1086956521739,11.038735177865613,35.74901185770751,10.832165505486646,4.128539130434783,788,35,133,20,11,268,114,184,0.204,0.643,0.152,-0.9133,1,0,0,0,1,1,19.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,2,4,10,0,16,4,1,3,0,25,30,10,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,9,0,1,6,0,2,2,4,8,0,0,5,7,24,3,20,22,2,23,0,1,2,1,9,14,1,1,7,91,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914430691442388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257097279009484,0.0,0.0,0.10339783833111914,0.11227543098133663,0.08197064016679755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672094252035019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119099019766917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265907194053742,0.0,0.0,0.3946074600744293,0.0,0.0,0.20397366969591346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431379562966015,0.0,0.0,0.07642144543823283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314402773990625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36052512339350573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876927363895098,0.0,0.0739002723683784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18995790312465166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129195226180481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975864818477994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551243990944922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970655590594407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320437290072804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741255089002953,0.0,0.14760583597395532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305438773988814,0.08614384945432171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148352110964083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28055956973821633,0.15191092742722748,0.0,0.11123358438320427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299260745006314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242153714029432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941730353573342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380036324833675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746024499010106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109504471823115,0.07931289946218738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789453892929947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IAmBoy00,2018/01/27,"What's happening with me? Okay, so this is going to take a while to write, but I just have to let it out. The things is, I've been struggling a lot lately with my mental health. That's mainly because I live with my sister who's anorexic, and she's been getting worse and worse since september 2017, and now, she's incredibly ill. And this illness she has, is driving my parents nuts. Therefore, they almost forget to take care of me, and they rarely give me attention. I understand that they got to take care of my sister, but that's all they ever talk about. When I come home from school, they always talk about how ill she really is, or how hard it is for them to cope with it. I love my sister very much, and my parents of course, but it doesn't feel very nice to be almost forgotten by your parents. My parents have admitted that they've given me far to less attention than they should, and that they feel sorry for me. But what does it help for them to say that to my face, when they aren't doing anything about it? I probably sound very selfish, and like I don't understand how serious this whole ""situation"" is for my sister and my parents, but I'm painfully aware of what's going on, and that makes me really sad and angry. I want to help my sister get better, but every time I tell her she's not fat and stuff, she doesn't believe it, because her illness makes her believe the opposite of what's true. My mental health is seriously damaged because of this. There are of course others who struggle more with their things, but everyone deals with the same stuff differently. 

Oh, I almost forgot to mention this, but in December 2017, when it really started to get extremely bad, I started to get very tired and had a lot of anxiety because of the situation (sorry for mentioning this word all the time). My thoughts would get so strong that I could almost hear them, and I would respond to them as if they were actual people talking to me. The thoughts would show up whenever I was stressed out, or had anxiety. The thoughts would be things like ""You suck!"" ""You are an jerk"" ""No one likes you"", and so on. I started to get depressive thoughts, and started to self-harm again. As of today, these ""symptoms"" are still going strong, the thoughts, self-harm and depressive thoughts are very dominant in my everyday life. And I get very easily irritated, and it feels like someone is watching me all the time, like a spy. I get scared when I'm going out for walks, because it feels like someone is behind me. I have nightmares every week, and really intense, realistic nightmares about traumatic experiences from my past. And, chewing sounds, breathing, footsteps from upstairs, sounds from cleaning the kitchen, these sounds really annoys me, they are very loud, much more loud than usual.

Am I going mad or something? Can someone tell my what's going on with my mental health? I have reached out to a therapist, but he can't have that many appointments with me, only two or something. Does anyone of you guys have had any similar experiences? 

Thank you for reading this text:)",7.252791095890412,6.99345236130137,6.964486301369862,77.63590753424658,63.914383561643845,10.176712328767124,33.832191780821915,9.673873057562805,3.0413315068493145,2425,91,455,42,32,764,239,584,0.177,0.7070000000000001,0.116,-0.9921,6,0,2,0,0,0,94.0,0,6,15,3,20,33,4,4,16,1,45,17,3,6,5,94,96,48,0,8,16,10,5,6,0,5,12,8,3,1,41,34,3,1,15,2,0,9,7,17,0,2,16,14,78,16,69,71,13,42,0,4,1,1,61,11,1,11,28,318,119,2,0.0,0.0,0.05294551332627116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21731606839197098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045144898252011186,0.0,0.0,0.03689558083237532,0.0,0.08301057374173182,0.0,0.0,0.03793668688022922,0.0,0.04464762983140553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530105209753527,0.1653681579401676,0.0,0.0,0.12225467321140288,0.0,0.047984555144343466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063413740310456,0.0,0.0,0.04673628422591605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331857884786944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593500833161109,0.09346031547621066,0.0,0.0,0.05668541958807063,0.0,0.0,0.094958656722938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049077179774332284,0.09142514880488103,0.051843427682100915,0.0,0.10614452304576656,0.0,0.0,0.10973278548603108,0.07752023875766574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267699546098689,0.052046791670048165,0.18500780718847448,0.0,0.043393056552632314,0.0,0.0,0.0537214464001678,0.047977933892773536,0.0,0.04860224522525307,0.0,0.0,0.17301308596691475,0.06114985907236351,0.0,0.07273259721458744,0.0,0.05442266121188432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120253457789013,0.0,0.0,0.05547989509781905,0.038322243747248866,0.15903889571387192,0.0,0.047908574968126234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225212263290906,0.048967680922854785,0.0,0.07243189649031882,0.05500653194011229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403026147071825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976802791359112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03676491134503703,0.04126373059993155,0.05773164652205817,0.0,0.30122139964966643,0.0,0.051792986278406186,0.03761391224454128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849657428727861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427015337894127,0.0,0.17378722031631094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04314612825632873,0.05431919149246936,0.054909433292229776,0.0,0.0,0.11320057802571,0.0,0.0,0.04488068633623635,0.12197084541345266,0.0,0.0,0.13791145373602912,0.08353702463657192,0.0,0.12146911582181515,0.15360920672135953,0.0,0.043328489287488434,0.0,0.06214945880967316,0.11343919699276292,0.12421906775301635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639220849882098,0.12238008622176197,0.13082547747518125,0.09484334625761,0.049951148316134716,0.0,0.06299478366155117,0.10813477250454387,0.0,0.0,0.2584367018457108,0.09491040448945473,0.06235868270186847,0.05142784265616397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299971161485693,0.11296371762817355,0.0,0.0,0.059754736237128014,0.3133651201232401,0.03200128255255042,0.0,0.043520466259154116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060574295883940914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058192040597138,0.15416611995301074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ElonMuskIsSkynet,2018/01/27,"Changes in Emotions Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I'll give it a shot. How many have ever had times when they're fine but then suddenly really angry over something? It doesn't feel normal to me, but then again, not a lot does. Only time I ever feel ""normal"", for lack of a better word, is when  Im high. I just smoke and for a little while, I can forget my problems.",2.5776016260162566,3.474217573170733,3.842439024390245,91.85601626016262,74.4878048780488,6.442276422764228,19.764227642276424,6.42735559955562,-0.03883577235772373,299,5,68,2,6,98,61,82,0.175,0.754,0.071,-0.8305,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,3,21,9,11,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,5,3,7,8,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,11,46,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510684579030422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944810076466455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732631552925637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22271309368522232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35818817637116684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20022027805032264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993089537731314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091882375491554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386412823421894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984388780839386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683247678666175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20073167870208194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3879780543174751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058098776073864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20685833173837548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962053545907406,0.0,0.0,0.189450535058984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683802901459726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169083131636311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524230541141259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660406339324845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309001512790515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway239423489,2018/01/27,"Going from feeling miserable to feeling great? I don't know how normal this is. Last week, I felt like the most miserable person alive topped off with what felt like the worst day of my life yesterday (received bad news about a family member). Today, I feel great and love everything about life. I blasted music and was motivated to clean up the house and cook myself a nice meal, I just feel happy.      

It's such a sudden switch in emotions, because the past few weeks, I mostly had episodes of feeling depressed and anxious. It's not the first time this happens either. It goes from days or weeks of feeling hopeless, afraid and down to feeling great again.         
I read about bipolar disorder, which sounds a bit like it, but I don't think I really experience ""manic"" episodes that could harm me by making bad decisions and I don't feel irritable.       
Maybe it's just normal to feel like that?     ",5.376485943775102,6.890329680722897,5.372469879518075,81.18332329317272,68.45783132530121,8.183935742971888,28.893574297188763,8.59863814320734,2.171728514056225,701,25,127,11,12,219,105,166,0.14300000000000002,0.644,0.213,0.693,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,3,8,19,0,3,9,0,7,6,0,3,0,36,24,9,0,3,6,0,11,4,0,0,3,1,1,1,11,7,2,0,15,2,0,2,4,9,0,1,4,12,13,10,18,19,6,20,0,4,0,1,3,5,0,3,17,78,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836209237230528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897415740506318,0.06926376570209515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404731685403245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071903361686326,0.0,0.0,0.14655537719290362,0.0,0.09786366181708207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022225214089653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781102373014666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021173790664264,0.11114548088306477,0.10711402261000966,0.0,0.5170626130941287,0.08117257459601346,0.21819255143690688,0.0,0.0,0.09664799996242524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457479264134437,0.0,0.0,0.3758105754183884,0.0,0.0,0.10047679110092132,0.1209542145682431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110614004629176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062444445233425024,0.0926182303316976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051112530674758,0.22204260174100285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254954825229187,0.0,0.07584449706573854,0.0,0.11414997019740855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222653601037186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084663852849264,0.0,0.09921156402809693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365414101110673,0.0,0.07279005498968281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280528226348612,0.0,0.0,0.06625471413937681,0.0,0.10770169084152116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734254963985239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calilac,2018/01/27,"Needing to vent, building up to telling my therapist, bug delusions tldr; I think I'm developing delusional parasitosis and I'm afraid to tell anyone. This is me working up to telling my therapist. Advice or shared stories are appreciated.

I remember occasionally being convinced as a kid that there were invisible bugs living on my skin. They went away for awhile, I'd say almost two decades actually, but last year they started coming back and earlier this month with a vengeance. Instead of on my skin, though, they are in my head. In my ears and my sinuses. Behind my eyes and at the back of my throat.

My finances are pretty limited. I can't just go have my head holes examined for critters. I KNOW they are not real, key symptoms are missing and I have a perfectly rational explanation to why the physical symptoms I am experiencing (it's a dry and windy winter, causing dry itchy skin) but I still experience long bouts of ""They're living inside me"" that freak me out. I'm getting panicky just writing about it.

I don't know why exactly I'm afraid to share this with my therapist or loved ones but I am. Hopefully sharing here will help. I thought about waiting it out which I believe I could do but something tells me I really ought to tell her. I hurt my throat trying to forcibly expel one like you would a frog in the throat. I almost did serious damage to myself in one bad episode a couple days ago thinking I could dig a bug out of ear canal with a screwdriver. I did not put it in my ear, just held onto it for a good long while talking myself down from doing it.

So thanks for reading.",3.9141808191808174,5.946408629870131,5.044285714285717,79.99686813186814,73.0909090909091,8.115084915084916,30.02797202797203,8.841846274778883,2.5917158841158843,1270,56,236,26,26,418,177,308,0.1,0.7559999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.9373,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,4,3,13,18,0,2,12,0,23,16,12,1,2,47,44,16,0,6,11,0,3,1,0,3,3,4,0,1,12,13,0,3,7,1,1,4,4,8,0,4,6,9,43,10,41,32,0,33,0,3,1,1,20,16,0,5,14,161,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.09877459003796146,0.0,0.0,0.09890948163443372,0.08972403401478335,0.0,0.20271128010225192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077428206053164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509805006145694,0.1556614548463529,0.08451316397006431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140385130678242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397921297524217,0.0,0.08719071785865379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162936565967026,0.11199627132237748,0.0,0.0652775159338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901105013385783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288245380086499,0.0,0.05752476826585772,0.08489721963762553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20775862831983916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784458229723442,0.0,0.0,0.10053274290186932,0.0,0.0,0.1083564263757365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125400778268872,0.08250653264372326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049450213805724924,0.0,0.17875546215288293,0.1791502567543572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135358795104406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079158783852437,0.0,0.0,0.07505218581231866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057646900225333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297553542447364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175248225923014,0.0,0.0,0.1012458245190413,0.11520873671417173,0.06484312026516129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466075365778935,0.0,0.0,0.08049296082902517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792289509613866,0.0,0.0,0.0716429281101624,0.0,0.08083317164123692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040941624197784,0.0,0.08135554265948647,0.4423468607572961,0.09318833432489264,0.0,0.3525672076700221,0.0,0.1297133701690261,0.099446596875382,0.08035612988981597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872067210812413,0.0,0.09887570179228196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383050180130087,0.18266778519872745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368822500161236,0.0,0.0,0.07190267096978907,0.0,0.0,0.06518135251582309
mentalhealth,BaileySus,2018/01/27,Anxiety about eating with others Idk how many people experience this as well  but I get severe anxiety about eating with anyone I’m not really comfortable with. I have social anxiety and I just figured that it was a part of that. But basically there’s like 10 people that I’m comfortable eating with. I don’t eat with my boyfriend/ his family if they ask me to come over or go out ( also Im not comfortable with him eating with my family). I hate it cause I feel so stupid that it’s something so simple but such a hard thing for me to do. My friends with Social anxiety feel this way too. I’m just curious how many other people struggle with this and if you have any tips or tricks to overcoming this or social anxiety in general? ,3.0518885941644562,5.147048703448277,4.873103448275864,79.99108753315653,75.75862068965517,8.875331564986737,23.56763925729443,9.466822959209583,2.2544748010610083,582,18,110,16,13,198,82,145,0.26,0.6679999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9823,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,13,10,3,1,2,0,5,5,0,3,0,32,15,16,0,2,12,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,14,13,5,0,3,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,1,3,15,6,20,14,1,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,5,1,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986378983686216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641676410946797,0.0,0.4298210848768695,0.0,0.0,0.07857306449767004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505258313366013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543692383248882,0.0,0.09679846546584232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5749226776641586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992130759441596,0.2118685048360633,0.0,0.11363724590294028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868182724493794,0.0,0.05870969414760897,0.0,0.06386355602026449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066317495968724,0.11094401399149126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121380964838445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05489924765973121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22785499406254295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216878469370246,0.0,0.2337136367862643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198833421534563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269482926972418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436470863206225,0.0,0.08650939979860939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747553720250445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465491544956501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919560558068115,0.0,0.0,0.10103585816417407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AbsyntheMinded_,2018/01/27,"A Weird Dream - Just had to put this somewhere Ive been having very vivid dreams again. This one was very unsettling.

I had lived with a family member in one house most of my life until rather rencently.

I dremt that iwas in the house and there were bodies in there. Literal bodies.

They didn't smell as we had dehumidified the air to keep the moisture away and they were wrapped up very tightly in towels. There was someone in the house who was their caretaker, who had aged terribly because of the dehydration from living there. 


There was one body laid in the bed of the relative that i lived with and another propped on the toilet, which i remember because i remember thinking it was very inconvenient as i needed to use said toilet and couldn't move the body myself.

The weird thing was. Neither of the bodies were people who would have any reason to be in that house. One was said relatives old boyfriend. Someone i have not had contact with in over 10 years.
The other, a co-worker/ manager whom i rarely interact with either.


I was not disturbed by the bodies in the dream, it felt normal to just have mummified corpses hanging around but the more ive thought about it throughout the day... its gotten to me a little.


Death usually signifies change, maybe these two people or ""dead relationships"" are people that might come back into play somehow.

I know its not hugely Mental health related but my dreams are a huge source of interest to me as they are often a little bit prophetic.",5.333615964371361,7.112181464028777,5.277893114080165,80.8012110311751,68.89208633093526,8.460705721137376,28.346008907159987,8.976282227363876,2.32376923603974,1189,42,213,22,21,370,156,278,0.063,0.8640000000000001,0.073,0.2244,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,4,0,14,6,0,1,22,0,31,8,6,2,0,41,42,11,2,5,10,0,2,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,19,12,0,2,7,5,0,4,6,4,0,5,23,6,22,2,38,15,5,32,0,0,1,0,14,20,0,6,8,161,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057429107767432486,0.08855351500129796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517868177068672,0.0,0.0,0.07934384762008706,0.06493707676271185,0.0,0.10296025214287187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219786775577783,0.5628315489233919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933723189085885,0.0727464656445874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054463464539217986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961223782863333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108554264961415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976673208562445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897772839756689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506331714850065,0.0,0.0,0.04641168265242553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964975252861155,0.0,0.16928279609912344,0.22371351685682436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484168882887479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510605110062397,0.08958843496509078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975731627399869,0.0,0.06261883593615968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274337480402696,0.0,0.0,0.0886163958830473,0.0,0.2289028667456599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564163819459575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489588842383756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682898543607499,0.0,0.09066802994027766,0.19133148072644296,0.0,0.16066317039042793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310894982161654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056105034473586515,0.05411234967661268,0.0,0.06704411416634888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249568325813257,0.0,0.0,0.07293795445186672,0.0930100871041254,0.27872140546932794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061480832594823925,0.0,0.0,0.059991078315668224,0.0,0.0,0.054383231815420166
mentalhealth,throwthisaway0111,2018/01/27,"I feel really weird I don't know how to describe it, but I feel really weird. I am really unmotivated, my grades are getting lower and I feel like I'm getting in trouble everywhere. If I don't get my grades up soon I will fail my exams, and have to retake this entire year. 


I'm (very) overweight (BMI of 32.4) and have been trying to lose weight for about 2-3 weeks now. So far I've lost about 4 kgs (8.8 lbs) and I've quit smoking. 

Every night at 9:00PM (21:00) I get really tired, and 2 hours later I am dead awake. I'm tired all day long, and can't focus on anything. At times my vision gets blurry, and if I think about being sick while in public I get nauseous. 


What's wrong with me?",1.8275287356321848,3.2424626896551736,3.6893965517241414,90.13317528735635,77.27586206896551,6.488505747126437,18.979885057471265,7.1686216300943375,0.15685057471264408,530,10,119,6,12,179,94,145,0.326,0.639,0.035,-0.9938,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,7,8,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,1,18,26,13,1,2,3,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,4,16,1,15,22,1,18,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,2,12,61,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233450769551286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371038444760572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549097795077805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439340150897003,0.11488406743170852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5041055440694724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583673476257568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837802536923292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856458095015931,0.0,0.0,0.142313488312866,0.0,0.17990740383890932,0.17554520661886938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091109276460912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104327113233522,0.0,0.0,0.4120809338578346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304178472310888,0.0,0.0,0.09377072348313266,0.3696592901819743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918073737758076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268667518472949,0.0,0.0,0.12899362180774093,0.19582559498327748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17582258930923128,0.0,0.10355760374037842
mentalhealth,Milikan2000,2018/01/27,"Absent minded, being a person I stall upon this nothingness, whatever ""I"" try to perceive, feel or think. Everything, inside, is slugghish, apathetic, colorless and simply absent. I have schizophrenia since I am 10, I am 21 now. It is not even the main problem. I just feel in a permanent absent-mindedness state, like the concept of even me being a person does not makes any sense anymore. 

Has anyone ever felt this way ?",5.5440000000000005,7.703558000000001,6.434333333333335,71.19550000000002,69.0,8.733333333333334,29.83333333333333,9.2995712137729,3.1327333333333343,330,13,49,7,6,109,57,75,0.094,0.871,0.035,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,1,1,14,13,2,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,7,1,4,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,38,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706978613873501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489380502399165,0.1755145514037912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21966370032854535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33158424206586296,0.2270561796671871,0.0,0.0,0.2255948458476693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538400451214208,0.0,0.2410124283276968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263256991445312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755353281060334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25345218862492425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383508017507123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401861231836019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764105083472667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083938482638918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704217631894665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924291868680996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foreverhere12,2018/01/27,Risperidone vs seroquel How is it at1mg of risperidone I feel like I've been hit over the head with a frying pan and severe anxiety but with seroquel at 50mg I feel absolutely nothing ? ,2.2895945945945932,4.83780491891892,3.644527027027028,85.4084121621622,80.8918918918919,5.8621621621621625,28.16891891891892,7.1686216300943375,1.6967351351351354,150,7,28,2,4,49,30,37,0.096,0.851,0.053,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,8,5,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230646616074821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4270634885693956,0.30169710403273764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43341010883927067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063184833379828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40521616345084793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4770881264890814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_caller,2018/01/27,"PTSD for me is exactly like being perpetually sorry. I am always sorry.  About everything.  Overly contrite.  If I think about it, I can remember to realize that nobody knows that I am feeling sorry about every conflict and embarrassment ever.  If nobody knows, then who am I paying remorse dues to?  That buys me about about 7-12 seconds of deciding not to feel guilt, shame, remorse about any thing I pick.  Shit I feel sorry for writing this.  Needy much?

This has the wonderful added benefit of assuming that because I have all this guilt, shame, and sorry ... everyone must hate me.  That makes for anxious social interactions many times a day.

I have a lot to be thankful for, but 99% of my day is spent being disciplined about staying on task being sorry.",3.884316996871739,6.669338875912413,5.0220490093847765,76.48644160583943,76.29927007299271,7.70990615224192,27.30396246089677,8.634040054169528,2.5780327424400418,594,24,96,13,14,195,86,137,0.18600000000000005,0.726,0.08800000000000001,-0.7827,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,2,5,3,0,14,1,1,2,4,27,25,6,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,2,11,0,3,0,1,7,0,1,1,3,13,3,20,19,3,9,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,5,7,73,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989595873188648,0.0,0.0,0.08164199196208731,0.0,0.0,0.13562876696979628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318483957563522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485198732827374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859725274041708,0.10115210406595727,0.1147183649266498,0.10789832070355776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211130551101365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853014720120544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319589444920842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058653150109049035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020670617532676,0.0,0.0,0.08013811109150985,0.12171763493627667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825475228781887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033868710469866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599970310195958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123235449409568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223816657951841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8063551531513892,0.0,0.12796340083369498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053115731801737,0.0,0.0,0.07975967156019018,0.07692684405333887,0.0,0.0,0.07000544334067575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019528394433758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Uncreativitype,2018/01/27,"I think I'm gonna end my life soon I have no friends except for a s/o and a single friend I see maybe once a week. I live with my s/o and I've realized how (probably) unhealthy our relationship is. I'm so dependent on them emotionally, they're all I think about if I'm thinking about something other than depression, and I'm devastated if they go out without me or something. 

I feel like I've went off the deep end. I smoke weed every day just to feel ok, and used to drink every day but I'm not 21 yet and am in America so haven't had too much alcohol lately. I feel so alone that I'm actually going crazy. I think my personality and mind are irreparable. Messed up with almost every friend I had in this small town but even if I got a fresh start, I'd be even worse off because I can't do anything. I used to be ""smart"" and do amazing on standardized tests but can't focus on schoolwork. 

I thought that getting a therapists appointment or something would be a partial solution, but now I realize it's not good enough. Seeing a therapist once or twice a week won't fix any of this. Right now I'm thinking about when I get off work and how I want to just unbuckle my seat and crash my car, but I feel like I have too much self control to let myself despite all my problems. Help please. ",4.201169910343316,4.449848237918218,5.5395407828558945,83.53025147605511,70.33828996282529,9.154690575114804,29.578176251913405,9.168548406835145,2.222738727312487,1012,37,222,19,17,341,152,269,0.109,0.752,0.139,0.7848,0,1,6,0,0,1,25.0,1,0,2,2,19,12,0,0,9,1,18,3,0,6,2,55,48,26,0,6,17,0,4,2,3,3,2,0,0,2,6,12,2,1,12,1,0,4,8,3,0,1,5,6,30,9,25,36,6,31,0,1,2,0,10,14,0,8,15,134,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.10048487576027114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004472021245848,0.10311061675098752,0.10664693713149777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002383437473761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473638755662488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277018678777227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549077081099847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281559712934746,0.0,0.08868880098743757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008724121656924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582855410408363,0.1824035459964136,0.10639660436013844,0.0,0.1360227940700701,0.0,0.2602726125935301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082609955718582,0.1471250550064164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23866549708860135,0.0,0.10759623093420974,0.0,0.11704162356151653,0.08636721817221035,0.08235534274036599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901931377821986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615581183196197,0.0,0.0,0.10529485910812776,0.0727314867657802,0.1006128922160529,0.0,0.09092530983423457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344824423678764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397139093566687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139111646995448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193215819106291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991033540300708,0.0,0.11303127407809813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102019095434916,0.09852937331624502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055235504149984,0.0,0.08793670069755688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641091653198029,0.0,0.10742124595909988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23781639882099784,0.0,0.0,0.07288342809101961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391146147084466,0.0,0.3298984050673173,0.0,0.08174749928550562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786782489649014,0.0,0.0,0.06073498393804,0.0,0.1651943052523112,0.0,0.0,0.09545518045080216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992604025686042,0.0,0.07496413937467293,0.0,0.10493628104850793,0.07314766840797939,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,watercrackpipe,2018/01/27,"I need to get help but for the next couple days how can I stay sane? For months I've had depersonalization (the feeling that I am in a dream, nothing is real ect.) It was really had to deal with but overall I could tolerate it as long as I didn't think about it. The other night I went out drinking with friends and I came home and it was like a switch in my brain flipped. Suddenly everything became worse and I was stressing out. My depth perspective went crazy and I realised I don't think I'll ever be happy. Suddenly it felt like my old life was millions of miles away and suddenly everything I loved turned into bad memories. My perspective on everyone around me changed and I feel like I've transported universes. I cried myself to sleep and when i woke up this feeling still hadn't gone away. I drank a bit the next night. I've now been in this horrible state of hating my life and myself and seeing things wrong for 48 hours. I'm going crazy. Does anyone know how to snap out of it or things that will help? I didn't see this coming and it's terrifying me. I live in Sydney Australia.",2.8997464114832567,4.789162572727276,3.943971291866028,87.40964114832536,75.54545454545455,7.54066985645933,23.85167464114833,8.371475516178862,1.384590909090909,866,27,180,16,19,280,127,220,0.168,0.687,0.145,-0.8673,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,1,1,7,0,17,7,2,2,1,35,40,18,0,2,3,0,4,3,1,1,2,0,1,0,15,19,2,0,7,2,0,7,4,4,0,1,17,6,26,6,28,20,1,40,0,0,2,1,5,15,0,1,19,113,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367297745364917,0.0,0.0,0.10652776421801624,0.0,0.0,0.2248595610442993,0.0,0.09991578660389208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064385390062722,0.0,0.0,0.13358639747553674,0.0,0.13686557950259012,0.0,0.0,0.1265903491602646,0.10308132780937207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095543252965268,0.13240772230278802,0.13144705442828047,0.07717441929385276,0.12336999026237302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472018244624308,0.0,0.0,0.11722674143573647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824439597772224,0.0,0.114345619301432,0.2150954698547435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151958514893096,0.08548913628448719,0.11489775246679072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245335408086452,0.0,0.062520342640692,0.0,0.06800872432755768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738626789737764,0.0,0.11814501624284565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041867298783868,0.0,0.12003436459610176,0.0,0.11784652186204145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576509018394057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690467197180519,0.1753877187184626,0.0,0.1056669267350704,0.10590029992393388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800288582793498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551594888487358,0.0,0.0,0.08873053415010586,0.0,0.0,0.2545314693806317,0.2245961387790097,0.0,0.1148223809870166,0.0,0.12556892863956126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620566325637246,0.07666085450829008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071599733908293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975203189910955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754761912446955,0.09556511138409653,0.0,0.1370765528934049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900102909695651,0.15335378306355707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301618217336203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218624402284996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219494807509422,0.0,0.1308355600160418,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dimethyltripreports,2018/01/27,"Psychedelic Therapies Hi all,

I'm curious about the opinions of the mental health community on emerging psychedelic-assisted therapies, and the future potential that these substances have for treating various psychiatric ailments.

Any thoughts? Criticisms, hopes, experiences?

Thanks! (:",10.683846153846154,15.680239820512831,9.334743589743592,39.71442307692311,73.87179487179486,14.907692307692313,52.653846153846146,11.20814326018867,10.474876923076923,239,18,20,12,6,74,35,39,0.041,0.706,0.254,0.8736,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20265418921086545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29150689285447684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167662709055267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959870385562188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30031979345004034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743637377101638,0.6815912954988935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365833481649015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jason-maxwell69,2018/01/27,"Need alittle advice, please help if you can. So I’m usual pretty self aware of my illness unless in a full blown episode, in that I am blessed I guess depends on how you look at it, but I can feel that  I am developing a new delusion but the more I think about it and the voices talk to me about it the more real it feels and I question everything because I believe that anything could be possible. 
Do I ride it out or say something. 
I usually see my mental health team (doctor,psychiatrist and psychologist)  once a week but don’t see them for two weeks from now due to them going on leave 
I’m scared of being senctioned if I say anything ",3.4218604651162785,4.8780495193798465,4.534023255813956,85.53219767441863,73.18604651162791,7.020465116279071,27.62868217054264,7.554174236665415,1.5066086821705431,504,19,102,6,10,165,87,129,0.058,0.8740000000000001,0.068,0.0469,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,2,1,5,2,0,1,6,0,9,2,0,2,0,21,20,12,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,8,17,1,15,17,3,16,1,0,3,0,11,7,0,6,7,71,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327566800678907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581545409751776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561658942738713,0.0,0.0,0.17672046178115405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523495514091804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605464583974568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097003546689918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861993667997476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914360016032619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727920881923476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672820020213291,0.0,0.0,0.10513576151055236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608547212533115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171764439726566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807168643259714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630506727625985,0.0,0.15149032804468693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704412335920285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721783139266573,0.0,0.17682903410527775,0.0,0.15957665250818734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757120963646278,0.0,0.0,0.17853390583269793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24947279344790346,0.15703796594391087,0.0,0.2499842598000924,0.0,0.16363266856887027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207536790358186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607310180105574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005055487781862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532233208729712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455044884272411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516372320900859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zzzzzzzzer0,2018/01/27,"Did I permanently fuck up my I've been taking welbutrin for like 6 months. At 300mg I was feeling better. I wouldn't call myself ""cured"" of my depression/anxiety, but I was stable and able to progress through therapy and stuff. 

I decided to try 450mg just to see if the effect would be even better, but after two weeks, the side effects became too awful. So I went back to taking 300mg. The side effects subsided, but now I feel absolutely no effect of the medication *at all*. My depression/anxiety is as bad as it would be if I stopped taking my medication all together.

Did I permanently screw up my system by taking a higher dose? Will I never again feel the same results on 300mg? Or does my body simply need to readjust to 300mg? If so, how long until I start feeling the effects again? It's been pretty hellish the last few days.

I hope I didn't screw up. It was working well and I'd hate to think I threw all that away...",2.313081977471839,4.261259388297873,4.226132665832292,84.46029411764708,77.45744680851064,7.1894868585732175,24.888610763454317,8.124751697461798,1.5489289111389235,727,26,147,13,17,247,108,188,0.158,0.703,0.139,-0.775,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,9,11,11,5,0,8,1,15,7,1,7,4,35,32,16,0,8,8,0,4,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,11,0,0,2,4,6,1,1,10,5,21,5,23,16,5,26,1,0,1,3,1,9,3,5,15,101,26,1,0.14405573075183825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22040447945456396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353451010660301,0.11076996491857484,0.12028051796589158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548111745704264,0.0,0.16001344182545366,0.0,0.0,0.14709700749388524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290402890167426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606414075537226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514745153963504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29135562343414106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317720179695458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222521016738507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430798448517659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117424647425009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037835350932431,0.0,0.0,0.12748478854589587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29024198660190714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498390991427868,0.0,0.0,0.10681549902895156,0.11110466030991964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655646714466844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479376645088095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019633876769282,0.0,0.0,0.12043704129716573,0.0,0.0,0.1649093466792342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332479262739502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474028269615054,0.0,0.0,0.09230509555031166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780438511398308,0.0,0.1407215168281867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555281790139645,0.0,0.1295234023436708,0.13354110563956212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487428768281093,0.0,0.0,0.20466611593054815,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Walffle,2018/01/27,Just want someone to listen So I've been dealing with depression and PTSD for about 4 years now is been getting worse so i went to get help. Ice been seeing a therapist about it and my PTSD is getting better. But all this time my mental health is slowly getting worse. I'm to the point of where I'm scared that what i will have a mental break down some time in the near future and the reason I'm scared is not for my mental health but because with my mental health degrading i find it hard and harder to deal with my anger and i don't know what will happen when i no longer can control that. The reason I'm here tell you all this is because i have no one really to tell people will listen but i don't feel as if they really care. I know none of you will really care either i just wanted someone to hear me and what I'm going through.,5.032499999999999,4.567541795454549,5.6887727272727275,85.6244090909091,68.54545454545455,8.403636363636364,24.986363636363638,7.554174236665415,1.028515454545455,660,13,143,6,10,215,91,176,0.152,0.77,0.079,-0.9076,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,2,10,8,1,2,6,0,17,3,0,3,2,29,40,14,0,3,8,0,2,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,9,9,0,1,6,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,4,6,18,3,20,32,5,14,0,1,1,0,11,5,0,2,6,97,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246429442757107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960922634651966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22155221920062132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121860426511869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22402714962598747,0.09358024922045262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054936800507864085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930430506253224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22706095908165316,0.0,0.06174840667653481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607900396850204,0.0,0.09732922893910913,0.0,0.0,0.34647021296016545,0.12245666029757656,0.0,0.0728259319381858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194226056715328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43797534586132797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362418046004021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532436123429019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270954815366592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25401251510571776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881228109275546,0.22342098144226047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21755558822664786,0.0,0.08658013423906209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411790637503336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993010957571574,0.0,0.0,0.12615124450627352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267095987636648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281693938815799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007198144130354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22144765119054416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996715995920763
mentalhealth,a41e7ba,2018/01/27,"Burned myself, how to move past it? A couple of months ago I spilled boiling water on myself and I had to go to the ER for second-degree burns. I've never had a serious accident like this before and I'm having trouble with the aftermath of it.

The burns are on my upper abdomen and breast (am female/29) and it's obviously a sensitive area. I've been using Vitamin E oil and Cocoa butter so that the scars will fade away, but honestly I hate dealing with this at all. Looking at it makes me sick...the initial healing stage has finished and my doctor said it'll need a few more months to heal but I'm worried about how much of the scarring will actually heal. (they can't guarantee anything)

I feel my self-esteem has taken a hit, I would really like some advice with how to cope, and also if anyone knows ways to speed up the recovery process? 

Thank you.
",4.354803921568628,5.457149323529412,5.552647058823529,80.48524509803923,70.47058823529412,8.254901960784315,28.284313725490193,8.59863814320734,2.1146666666666665,675,24,128,11,12,225,115,170,0.071,0.8270000000000001,0.102,0.5086,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,0,6,7,1,0,11,0,13,9,2,5,3,26,27,15,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,4,5,1,0,0,8,10,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,5,5,13,4,20,17,5,21,0,0,1,1,4,8,0,2,11,85,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.19197783499082524,0.0,0.0,0.19224000967197805,0.17438721628893905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732305266973565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755656629694965,0.0,0.16189011634819633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848321289476486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740076392625552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21767543340095666,0.0,0.0,0.2028175972820008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013591140490862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994714247801427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180487274899363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942278529345488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811638671425763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222241231490744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520170201952042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131725238738265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140523106752466,0.20909038763770002,0.1446174787839898,0.14587108018408976,0.15172851281162453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779882843263032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602878774562498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871330715453211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20522987240830606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112041430107176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990954947100612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615327352822506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978650595185665,0.0,0.1397496977464818,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Seeking-Unknown,2018/01/27,"12y/o faking mental illness for attention without guilt This is my sister  We’re having behavioral issues with her and I have reached a point where I just cannot understand what is going on. What I’m trying to ask is Is there any disorders we should be looking at specifically; Why might she be doing this; Any other advice????

She is currently in therapy at a center that does partial care. She does group therapy and DBT and has individual meetings with doctors. I know that it’s a good program because I was in the program for depression and it helped me so much. My sister and I are very different though. 

She joined this program for suicidal thoughts but now they’re keeping her for a little longer because they can’t figure out what’s going on. She keeps making up issues for attention. 

She copies everything around her. She started self harming after watching an anime about someone who self harms. She began to have tics after hanging out with a cousin who has them. We can tell these things are fake because she doesn’t actually do them unless she’s talking about it. 
I can give more examples of these situations, but it would make this post longer than necessary. All the doctors know she’s faking, but because of the things she’s claiming they can’t just ignore her. 

Her newest thing is claiming she hallucinates. Highly doubtful she does because she can’t keep the stories straight between doctors. However, they have to send her for tests. So now she has to get blood work done and go to a neurologist. 

We don’t want to dismiss her problems if they’re real, but everyone knows it’s for attention. She loves attention and she has her whole life. Now it’s not that we don’t give her enough attention. We all try our best but it doesn’t change her behavior. We’ve tried so many things. We’ve tried ignoring bad behaviors and only praising good ones, we take away electronics, we punish. We have completely taken away electronics unless it’s watching TV with the family because she’s proved over and over she can’t be trusted with it. 

She also doesn’t display empathy unless she chooses to. It’s like she can turn it on and off. She has plagiarized poems off the internet to pretend she wrote them to impress us, but when we call her out she has no guilt or remorse. 

We’ve tried scare tactics like: If you’re lying then we’re wasting all this money and someone else who really needs the help could be getting it.  

What else can you do for a kid like this? The therapists are having such a hard time helping because they keep having to go on wild goose chases of all her other “symptoms”. ",4.699579197684034,6.5539255604838775,5.142983870967743,80.84200785773369,70.61290322580646,8.071050454921423,29.65343258891646,8.69343788997812,2.4323281224152202,2082,84,373,37,39,663,235,496,0.132,0.764,0.105,-0.9483,3,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,11,1,7,3,17,26,1,4,17,0,49,8,1,2,5,80,81,30,1,8,16,3,1,3,0,3,6,0,0,3,36,29,0,6,13,2,1,6,13,15,0,1,6,4,66,11,55,67,9,44,1,1,3,1,81,25,0,5,15,270,102,8,0.0,0.0,0.07557055305508295,0.0,0.0,0.07567375604022289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06192897268132048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532410675136952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893827722614684,0.07239621835221002,0.0,0.14551540502151974,0.0,0.0646594082465754,0.3304481780489797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812688076487037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907519538695218,0.0,0.0789555377318076,0.0,0.08192155959177752,0.0,0.081194671680855,0.0,0.0,0.0618297709367825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669920910687664,0.0,0.0,0.08090862170004433,0.0887532825222567,0.2377902575903857,0.20330556137113168,0.07924830431997082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938285230812352,0.0,0.0,0.08001652162919305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399751661796736,0.06959834011247754,0.0,0.07300381428295061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809187115655017,0.1485755669988602,0.17604440779944025,0.12990648381103867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937128985334956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571978392487315,0.08181991913852289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616550882312381,0.0,0.27532995499345003,0.0,0.0,0.12767747597587206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469836766799845,0.11350024347014305,0.07761551581002175,0.0,0.0,0.0650303405487035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698928860385381,0.0,0.1033839910639963,0.07851230027254757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804159911041549,0.08215191089301856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692752423038905,0.057420994485018736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247554530719694,0.058896830848280575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320610584649866,0.0,0.07416639224095557,0.0,0.0,0.07409989988387161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814400491990218,0.04961023334414467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753124079267412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157422508760969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087046131630544,0.0,0.0,0.1312298144098626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481263650590455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470710921370665,0.0,0.0,0.0804901136379932,0.058225461219067624,0.06224357246647067,0.06768622759509564,0.0,0.1771194433420593,0.08991414648399633,0.20579155309587985,0.0,0.07608469265658521,0.0614789408369667,0.04515605640179785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628843711491011,0.08423279899659304,0.0,0.08061807394058673,0.09315113502177944,0.0,0.0,0.06389635022370747,0.04567629000148428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987781750098683,0.08645931927531737,0.0,0.0746496769969172,0.0,0.056377454109190074,0.0,0.0,0.0550113608088508,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayyy112231234,2018/01/27,"I'm Scared That It's Not Real...I'm Scared That I'm Lying To Myself I'm a hypochondriac when it comes to physical health - as a young kid and into my teenage years, I could talk myself into pretty much anything. Ranging from cancer to heart attacks to tumors to hemorrhaging - you name it, I had it.

Now that I'm experiencing symptoms, I'm scared that nobody will belief me because I'm a hypochondriac. Or worse...*I'm scared that it's not actually happening, that I'm just convincing myself of it being real when it isn't...*

I've had annoying and worrying symptoms for the past few weeks or so, but what if they're not real? What if I'm just convincing myself that they're real? Every time I focus on said symptoms I think I'm convincing myself of it being there when it isn't...

I...just have no idea what to do. I'm hopeless. I'm scared. I'm scared that nobody will listen. I'm scared that I'll make a fool of myself and I'm not actually having symptoms. I'm scared that it's all in my head because I'm a *stupid freaking hypochondriac that's paranoid about everything.*",2.0138131313131318,4.323979287037041,3.9724242424242417,84.06954545454545,80.2037037037037,6.705050505050505,22.781144781144786,7.84624498591911,1.3088685185185185,850,28,164,15,22,288,99,216,0.213,0.718,0.069,-0.9836,0,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,0,1,0,0,9,17,3,8,6,0,12,8,2,1,1,27,34,13,0,3,11,0,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,1,24,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,14,0,0,3,4,14,3,17,26,3,14,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,4,9,97,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.17436063195215595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351698438163075,0.0,0.0,0.10163407384554356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089183755591411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695617192819665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132856316491737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527052681359676,0.0,0.08029060311353936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900067775102558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168584175707063,0.09496137037865388,0.0,0.10586512850090957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085093548647707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05963334025925191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567319345305943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528255985112247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088814960063288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067416150686584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498022861688577,0.0,0.7155377640701902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37142263785185786,0.0,0.0718059362507449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724373340001487,0.0,0.0,0.05209329700780253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166099186759002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072636285054383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753029099785328
mentalhealth,WhatIsMyGirth,2018/01/27,Free depression or crisis center in Texas? My partner has limited health insurance  in the state of Texas due to being covered by her university out of state. She is suffering from severe depression and can’t affird full price doctor and prescription costs. Is there somewhere near Forr Worth she can go for help and preferably to have something prescribed to her for a cheap cost?,7.132835820895523,9.284229746268656,6.191223880597018,74.54146268656717,64.97014925373135,9.53910447761194,32.80298507462687,9.888512548439397,3.561002388059702,311,13,48,7,5,94,54,67,0.233,0.672,0.095,-0.9111,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,7,8,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,6,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,13,7,1,10,0,3,0,0,6,6,0,1,1,33,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6173414513019285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668154007920448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036746605764667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809394002891968,0.0,0.0,0.240213436540566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40486549821416573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758971428879517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lavishlust,2018/01/27,"Everybody is shaming me to death for not having a job, I keep on applying and there’s no luck. My father got laid off and we had to live with a relative. I lost my important stuff such as college degree. I don’t have a room or bed. I had to argue with 50 people everyday for my job situation. I have no friends, no male role model, I had no guidance in my life since when I was born. I LOST EVERYTHING, job opportunities being swept away from my hands. I’m dead from the inside, I just want to die right now.",2.6575471698113198,3.766018669811324,4.7171226415094365,84.84285377358493,74.56603773584905,8.318867924528304,24.57075471698113,8.841846274778883,1.5852113207547176,393,12,87,8,8,136,75,106,0.246,0.653,0.101,-0.9504,3,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,1,0,0,3,5,7,1,1,4,0,10,2,1,0,0,11,16,5,3,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,7,1,16,3,15,8,0,10,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,2,4,59,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897441137949828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095982265410392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150484293110936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603054329534488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152249522204631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6012298813793926,0.17950758651195295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264734785518604,0.0,0.0,0.17833066361661487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409172056223058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001071700105525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246914220298373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670599174205243,0.2270067709061653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23119106340535606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911875813413107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrtrav50,2018/01/27,"What are your best methods for keeping your thoughts from getting out of hand? It can be too easy to ""obsess"" about life's problems, develop resentments and alienate ourselves. So how do you combat this?",5.895833333333336,8.35624802777778,4.823333333333338,81.855,68.72222222222223,7.022222222222222,37.0,7.793537801064563,3.0872333333333333,163,9,26,2,3,48,35,36,0.168,0.608,0.224,0.5661,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,1,4,4,1,1,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,6,7,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,6,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5115207296387203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546585804502745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332442653718816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34428152386000765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663983138352187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869596907374159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gothicapples,2018/01/27,"Anyone feel like physical health problems won’t be taken seriously because of anxiety? For the last couple Of months I have been having shortness of breath when talking out loud but not any other time it’s been getting increasingly worse over time and I know I need to see a doctor but I just know he’s not going to really look into it and say I’m having an anxiety attack even though I have had 1000’s of attacks in my life and this Is not one of them 

Does any one else feel like doctors won’t take them seriously because they have anxiety?",5.2389252948885945,5.872443036697247,6.288361730013107,77.71256880733947,68.1743119266055,9.164351245085193,29.332896461336823,9.23628265651192,2.4435887287024904,437,15,83,8,7,146,74,109,0.203,0.753,0.044,-0.9452,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,3,0,4,7,2,0,3,0,12,5,1,0,0,17,24,7,0,2,6,0,2,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,5,0,2,4,6,9,2,12,17,1,12,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,7,54,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134577349757002,0.0,0.3601904750553832,0.0,0.0,0.1097405037574354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3570981527596809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913460183287728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736580983380419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212823815941329,0.13734476679268773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110849666915633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366155247897356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871353231190347,0.2242449394571777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199796523647894,0.0,0.08919620043091032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682658021403354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250716649677572,0.12793218372540374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085581477411584,0.15335207128803693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179536600289454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527304114762725,0.0,0.0,0.1163736945024212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270175249301784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017641524818073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054382009861557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480999895908212,0.0,0.0,0.12506588303366215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800408712771768,0.12614749277535106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419894515825827,0.0,0.18303330200970164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994169035014325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theon3leftbehind,2018/01/27,"How do I deal with my mother who just doesn't understand? *Warning: Long post!

Background: I had to move back in with my parents during the middle of last year due to me divorcing my then abusive, alcoholic husband, which I feel like has also negatively impacted my health. I got laid off at the university I was working at due to lack of grant funding. I am most definitely actively searching for roles and I've been applying to everything I can find, but neuroscience seems to be a hard area to find jobs in. I'm already depressed because I can't find a job, and then I was told by a staffing agency recruiter that I won't be able to get a job outside of my state unless I relocate to the state where I want a position and look for a few months, which I find ridiculous because I am flat out broke. But anyway, yes, I am actively searching and applying for jobs so I can move out of my parents' house. 

My official diagnosis is major depressive disorder but also with psychosis. My psychiatrist took me off of Abilify because I felt like it wasn't helping me anymore, so he put me on 20mg of Latuda to start. I feel like I am now back to where I started before I started any medication whatsoever. As it pertains to psychosis, I am seeing shadows again (I used to see them when I was a teen before starting medication), disconnecting with reality in public places (I go off into my own world and then I come back like a half hour later--luckily this doesn't happen during driving or anything), feeling paranoid, having (embarrassing) delusions, and I am so irritable that I feel like I want to tear my hair out. It's like something's crawling underneath my skin and I can't take it. I also have sensory-processing sensitivity where things like noises and lights seem to be so exaggerated that sometimes I can't see and I can't filter out what's going on around me, which has made me rock back and forth because I feel like it soothes me with the hypersensitivity. My ex actually used to get mad at me for rocking. My psychiatrist is out of the office until Monday, so I had to call the on-call psychiatrist a few days ago and he said to increase Latuda to 40mg, which seems to be working but only a little bit. I have stopped seeing shadows, at least. As my disorder pertains to depression, I have lost most motivation and most of my will to live. My psychosis gets worse when the depression gets worse. I am also a PhD student and I am having trouble with meeting deadlines. Part of me just doesn't care anymore, whereas the part of me who has motivation is still trying his hardest to complete the work. I haven't started my dissertation yet, thank goodness. I used to feel like my medication created a barrier where the depression pokes out sometimes but is usually behind that barrier. Now I just feel like nothing is helping me anymore. I have been on over 25 different medications and antipsychotics are the only medications that seem to help me to the point where I can function. My psychiatrist does want to put me on another antidepressant, though, and has told me in the past that he is treating me for either MDD with psychosis (my official diagnosis) or schizoaffective disorder. 

The issue: My mother is an RN and she really just doesn't seem to understand mental illness. Something sparked me today: seeking her nursing insight randomly, I asked what the biological explanation of rocking is, unaware of what she'd say. I was telling her why I do it (I'm very good at hiding it, but sometimes I can't control it) and she goes, ""Oh, I really hope you didn't do that when you were at work."" I did, though, and I used to hide it very well from my PI because she wasn't there a lot of the time, but when she was there and I couldn't rock I would end up getting very irritable and feeling like there was something that needed to be let out, if that makes sense. So I told her that and after a few comments she said that people shouldn't feel comfortable around people who rock and that if she saw someone rocking she'd feel unsafe. First off, why would you say this to someone who is dealing with mental illness and just told you he rocks? This leads me back to when, a few weeks ago, my mom said ""schizophrenics shouldn't be in relationships,"" and a few days ago I was telling her about that student who runs the non-profit Students With Schizophrenia and she said that ""schizophrenics probably won't have careers."" She also told me that I complain too much and try to blame my mental problems on other people. I probably do complain a lot, honestly, because I'm so depressed that the negativity just comes out. But telling me I'm trying to blame my problems on other people when I'm experiencing psychosis? And why would you say things about people with schizophrenia and the rocking when my experiences are so similar?

Has anyone had similar experiences with their parent(s)? The main point of this post is to just vent because I can't take it. My own mother makes me feel like I'm absolutely insane and I feel like she's making me worse. There are just things you shouldn't say to people.",6.756590655282968,6.989216330595482,7.2477218199502875,73.53511275622323,64.85215605749487,10.161576425663748,35.5682121113873,9.93914555978268,3.510495824777548,4062,180,738,81,57,1335,357,974,0.146,0.757,0.097,-0.9956,8,0,4,0,0,0,105.0,0,6,2,10,57,38,2,1,38,1,87,13,2,13,0,137,164,71,0,17,22,8,16,13,0,9,11,8,0,0,47,53,1,4,27,8,1,13,22,16,1,2,32,32,131,22,110,113,22,112,0,8,6,0,72,47,0,16,61,531,178,18,0.04011878226944385,0.04753419671746646,0.03915014429106003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668863955916376,0.04287477734525344,0.0,0.0,0.04427207385104981,0.16041487843178714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02728214767488577,0.042068041230577405,0.0,0.0,0.1193611553187304,0.028051985370945103,0.0,0.033014339465966366,0.07142844379115504,0.03750564578441273,0.0,0.0,0.15424433590280925,0.0,0.1711922611166505,0.0,0.06827625764672039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0437993195647235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0409657622458635,0.0,0.04090377230037474,0.0,0.0,0.06911755713074584,0.04206377991773755,0.0,0.04499662568447936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174659123948565,0.08272140581995736,0.2073254902922668,0.0,0.0,0.04191558862403312,0.13793880062723135,0.0,0.03510821671969315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035533333205274235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03605617462976202,0.07848773450054629,0.0,0.0,0.24342314099954446,0.2579477946246218,0.03852032244386587,0.0,0.14667136072499798,0.03412501570369952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048020394705507,0.0,0.0456008570028503,0.0672994622897541,0.032086655101381915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035476906666556084,0.0,0.03593854878150729,0.0,0.0,0.04264438951358277,0.0,0.0,0.08067232226271791,0.0,0.0,0.039847003050800564,0.03950891922212306,0.04629168828812322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0418735855024375,0.15924680389106344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032702162132137405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102417300116603,0.0,0.25480013700547993,0.04020955941625227,0.035425619754082864,0.0355038598440043,0.033689672932825925,0.0,0.04379439001861397,0.06821510804850132,0.0,0.037961361814921504,0.08033879607691075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207726213252653,0.1212908894679178,0.0,0.0,0.04698663291676692,0.03202242925196107,0.08527983291697022,0.02949192109429245,0.029747568709548308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038495053597072636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102428347495725,0.0,0.0,0.1336414799172942,0.08688946330203133,0.0382979172110201,0.16687987319911834,0.0,0.04191558862403312,0.0,0.07585043356207814,0.0,0.07684540711682578,0.0,0.0865096655033587,0.0767765129439277,0.0,0.08066091412561434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051402238443874496,0.0,0.0,0.04307255812224869,0.0,0.0,0.15264859618775695,0.12761626364269812,0.0,0.0,0.1278779010899853,0.18261316311007952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798502805306099,0.09265619585214703,0.11903550449725905,0.0,0.14198140290275738,0.0,0.03203891134392158,0.033541098377409415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032866284512903,0.0,0.10519675203120483,0.036935984585316384,0.0,0.0,0.07995940884254712,0.0,0.07883299977109044,0.0,0.023393584568013454,0.0,0.03802791462534963,0.19167607855548693,0.04457344326279033,0.08171405908476123,0.0,0.0,0.08353013441467799,0.0,0.1385989872953155,0.04418517073092573,0.0993065908531946,0.07098929167297394,0.0,0.032180867208905964,0.0,0.03607160333228877,0.0,0.10860288276230842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682780521818342,0.0,0.12265339972805955,0.08549769558035064,0.0,0.0,0.025835180435577417
mentalhealth,azzah57,2018/01/27,"Things never got better About 3 years ago after a cancer scare in my family I fell into a situation where I was unable to attend school or even leave home for the thought I may bump into someone from there and be questioned. This cost me all of my friends that I thought I knew. Out of the abyss I found a girl who talked to me through the day and spent all of her time just keeping my mind ticking over. She was and remains my rock. After 6 months of this issue my time at school was over and things seemed to return to normal. I seemed to get over what had been holding me back. I had always questioned myself as if I'd made all of it up and I felt a mockery for ever thinking I had a mental health problem. As I write this that same niggling doubt is telling me I'm wasting everyone's time and I'm lying to you all. Since then I have seen a distinct decline in my abilities to perform tasks at college. More recently I had been verbally harassed on more than one occasion at my sixth form college. I finally thought enough was enough and stopped going to these lessons. When questioned why I tried to avoid anything saying it was angst. Finally I was pressured into my real reasoning of being bullied by the teacher of these classes. This has lead to my removal from college I am now the failure I always thought I'd end up. The girl who became my rock is someone who I love and admire however, she's found new friends that more closely align with her than I. I've found myself at 19 with almost no qualifications hopeless and terrified. I'm trying to keep moving but everyday I feel like giving up. I need something or someone to just show me how I can keep moving when it feels like all is lost. I still feel like I've wasted your time. I'm sorry all. ",4.569384469696967,5.484131866477274,5.148181818181818,84.2756060606061,69.82386363636363,7.457575757575757,30.291666666666664,7.492282038375204,1.8373234848484847,1395,55,273,14,24,448,190,352,0.134,0.8,0.066,-0.9076,1,1,1,0,0,1,21.0,0,2,0,5,13,16,1,4,12,0,22,3,0,4,9,70,54,19,0,4,6,0,4,3,2,1,2,1,1,2,18,16,0,6,20,3,2,7,2,8,0,1,26,6,47,8,51,25,13,52,0,2,1,1,22,19,0,11,29,192,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814725839815304,0.0,0.08827807933691974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670999485817882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254699641175474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778850320364603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796909629965781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056854988312600774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808233144261875,0.18218275046431065,0.0,0.05822790797356056,0.07974447912312489,0.0,0.08423929727577299,0.0,0.0,0.08310805949606108,0.0,0.13372687461183996,0.1889415128270104,0.08464605802565231,0.19314682159851174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899839846048247,0.13622219418881945,0.0,0.04605921732435344,0.0845697391505063,0.050102550329214735,0.0,0.07050846662871521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370844375707103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843023969168272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201464897773376,0.0,0.23507817884647886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933472028406391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920948144673872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623549969281132,0.0,0.07956655673810185,0.0834177761518277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884310944217166,0.0,0.08901503052740488,0.0,0.07036733424373204,0.1873972289828876,0.0,0.06536846701581761,0.06799332857869334,0.08514410200617151,0.0,0.0,0.08637668659584771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973853262756543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435585111118209,0.0,0.0,0.2962733433155203,0.0,0.0,0.10034375980290566,0.0,0.09064169886967513,0.08704595822364271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010723802389247,0.08826211391677671,0.17844237085216294,0.0,0.16051251308593562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292568503382812,0.09909393307059992,0.0,0.0,0.22408942595850712,0.0678687788068779,0.0,0.09868630813035516,0.0,0.0,0.07040355263506319,0.07370451697634797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070858523963438,0.07705448112936299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171372811576054,0.056488455783341066,0.0,0.2799522475924495,0.20562389836250214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970777238222445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795494026081755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677123252122013
mentalhealth,jackson1221,2018/01/27,"Moved to tears often Hi, I’m actually interested in seeing if anyone has a similar experience to this. I’ll mention that I don’t think I’m depressed before I begin. I am a 25 year old male if that changes anything. There are days, such as today, where I am moved to tears by many many things. I won’t actually cry because I hold it in, but I can be reading a book and I’ll feel the tears in my eyes, sometimes I can tell the reason because maybe it relates to something that’s happened to me but sometimes I don’t really know why. On days like these, I’ll feel like crying as I read the newspaper, when I think of a movie I like, when I think of friends and family. For example, it happened maybe 10-15 times today.

Not that I tell many people, but those I do tell are surprised because I’m quite neutral, not very expressive face, have been suspected of being on the autism spectrum (though never tested). I’ll also state that I don’t actually cry (tears rolling down) because I always hold it in (haven’t actually cried in over a year). Does this happen to anyone else? Are there scientific reasons for this? Any psychological reasons for this? Should I just let it out and have a good cry about nothing in particular? And tbh I don’t really mind it and now I kinda take it as a sign that I like the book I’m reading and it shows I still have emotions (which is a good thing) but I am curious about it. Thanks!",3.0180556400121645,4.5785233321678325,4.607816965643051,84.1745348130131,74.41958041958044,7.491395560960777,26.42079659470964,8.18289091462,1.6290606871389484,1107,40,228,18,23,372,141,286,0.098,0.7709999999999999,0.131,0.9091,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,1,14,11,0,0,13,0,25,2,2,3,1,34,42,19,0,3,9,0,2,4,1,2,0,0,0,1,24,7,0,2,10,6,0,2,9,1,0,0,1,4,25,10,29,36,0,29,0,1,2,0,8,12,0,4,18,143,49,6,0.0,0.0,0.3149648539265569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452728293577667,0.06714004355690414,0.0,0.0,0.054871558028876485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283980729449325,0.08267582433307581,0.06640049989390676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675003390281395,0.0,0.06866073518297944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535868472291286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431675775889656,0.1040759737037776,0.0,0.06949766080860799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061183650136077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740563872168273,0.09076471296773228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789297149462741,0.07606678386008071,0.0,0.08159796878957777,0.05764452250703012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234042922634948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535687858415235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21406010619511665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0443447832794743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251037697784823,0.0,0.15768305757554935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454191565406076,0.16212669264144536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814732906589825,0.0,0.0,0.1715201221091556,0.0,0.0,0.062232638570607526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742365419497077,0.0,0.08466995044913463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559398692704234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582310770224895,0.24213370299530976,0.0,0.10338338987086414,0.2488864217900629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429900382008175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062118641196225864,0.1596077569443107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443865798030078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066838585362365,0.0,0.2115782728074305,0.07428795730009774,0.0,0.0,0.10721290211565318,0.15510752564971575,0.07927692447599632,0.0,0.04705063723076392,0.0,0.1529682302836351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665772043509496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280963183458061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039226544296034
mentalhealth,alinuxlover,2018/01/27,"I think something is wrong with me. i am so sorry. i shouldnt be here.

Every now and then, i see somebody and want to kill them... but other times i think people will kill me


i keep looking around to see if somebody is behindme

basically im paranoid..
also, sometimes i daydream? about killing close friends and its worrisome.

occasionally there are periods of time where i dont know anything that happens... afterwards, everyone around me seems really worried.

I always see and hear things that arent there.

my memory is nothing, i cant even remember what i was doing before i posted this, i have huge blank spots in my memory

ive also been told that i should be able to express feelings other than ""fine"" but I cant, i never have emotion

help me please... i dont want to stay like this forever. i just want to be normal

im so sorry i shouldnt be here

PLEASE HELP ME. i will do anything if anybody can tell. me whats wrong.",0.4590378421900176,2.9296082934782635,2.459082125603868,89.57013687600643,93.78260869565216,5.117230273752013,21.488727858293075,6.775458762138228,0.8008500805152985,722,27,142,11,27,240,104,184,0.198,0.703,0.099,-0.9685,1,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,1,0,15,8,3,0,0,0,27,0,0,0,1,28,43,13,3,9,5,0,1,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,1,6,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,6,30,3,12,31,0,15,0,0,4,0,8,6,0,3,8,101,41,0,0.11124327158337884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792240818828206,0.09256331347005564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308746794418948,0.19806019330475855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946598306633517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26075257159812937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251337075962901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347513172054028,0.0,0.0937272541919582,0.10629771322359068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056247940598876896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594627567445208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837205767463568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537925198918234,0.0,0.14912804006962688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403236455025901,0.0,0.0,0.09887813110288744,0.36922259383533,0.0,0.061136392799339585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054347843380947225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341633079616188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857976689752603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899478696874182,0.1067409193318778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712207768175734,0.0,0.0,0.2442234129421149,0.0,0.0,0.10654030369639717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126528832307942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260169411241953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26593945421108545,0.10127169644441973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856405053194055,0.1100224400790507,0.2490554698336101,0.0,0.1185705261196206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723152260954623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390508659824285,0.142560393248389,0.0,0.0,0.12973369250992156,0.0,0.0,0.10629771322359068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196842491380978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297294216982535,0.0,0.0,0.2432541084301763,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashleycordova,2018/01/27,"Anyone Else Feel Like You're Defined By Your Mental Illness? I was over in /r/depression and someone posted about losing their identity. This really hit me because since I've been diagnosed with mental illnesses (anxiety and depression), my entire personality has disappeared.

I used to be really funny, outgoing, sociable, friendly, fun to be around... you know just genuinely cool (early 20s). Now I'm just an irritated, unstable, difficult to be around, mental nightmare (late 20s).

Ever since I started therapy and recognizing that I have these issues and trying to learn about them, that's all I am now. I am 100% absorbed by these problems while I'm trying to fix them.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does your real personality ever come back?

",6.5846564885496175,8.736587198473284,7.534267175572518,64.37819465648855,66.32824427480915,11.041526717557254,32.94732824427481,11.00357731598739,4.524327633587786,597,26,87,19,10,200,88,131,0.14800000000000002,0.713,0.138,0.1469,0,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,3,3,1,11,8,0,0,1,1,9,3,0,1,3,20,18,5,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,3,14,4,14,12,1,17,0,2,0,0,9,4,0,0,10,57,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180281360958232,0.0,0.0,0.18609973594202456,0.2727042777912556,0.0,0.23693179560209945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232726775836988,0.0,0.0811219245978031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146332332711843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292364128434932,0.13506938899674478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329114953730685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22233592679523892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240749811010574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457449821333625,0.09506955634074288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281422572140712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388968214175078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313511655668355,0.0,0.15011558020191515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501423584665422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887805983668775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023280741749565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323937468526619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745006978731396,0.0,0.0,0.12733580704249628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146967836695374,0.17050384981203456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22016376660512293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275490487912232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419191276296868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218406027690048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069980451574624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493497962984475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562957389962792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Benny_____,2018/01/27,"Suicidal thoughts and going into the ER Ive struggled with mental health issues the majority of my adult life and my mental state has worsened within the past week. I have decided to take myself to the emergency room on Monday. Ideally I would go this week but timing wise I can’t and I also want to prepare myself and my thoughts. Yes, I have a  suicide plan. One that I’ve  been preparing myself for. Obviously I am here to seek help as my last resort. My question is what should I generally expect walking into an ER?

In the past I've been to the ER twice for mental health issues and a terrible experience with a GP when I was seeking help for my self-harming, which has deterred me for wanting help. 
",3.921640316205533,5.65844693478261,5.463596837944667,78.2361462450593,72.40579710144928,7.9167325428195,28.48748353096179,8.575989854853784,2.2991942028985517,559,22,101,10,11,189,87,138,0.125,0.73,0.145,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,10,1,13,3,0,0,1,22,20,9,2,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,4,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,2,3,2,5,0,19,2,18,13,1,18,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,8,74,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748206736329135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370396003676006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698210934688135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123121178333552,0.0,0.0,0.2954074862342613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066670274498113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974941639115885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376528201269772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441453494316216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995484872715332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804801233927969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645702912825945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325681320109874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357986793365996,0.0,0.3213864490213329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045633830222544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332566731245289,0.08566308515007458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732999837240377,0.0,0.2356810569072912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043590441835492,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dep_kms,2018/01/27,"I want to open up but I can't I sometimes get an urge to finally get my shit together and go see a therapist, or at the very least post a sad text about how tragic my life is  and other petty problems. But then I read stories from some of the other posters here and on similar themed subs and I remember how privileged I am. What right have I to whine online and clog up mental health resources when some have experienced far, far, worse. I have a near-perfect life. I'm simply another angsty white kid with a pathetic existential crisis. 

God I wish I was strong enough to end it all.",4.400448717948716,5.293497025641024,5.443664529914532,82.08293269230772,70.19658119658119,9.26880341880342,28.30021367521368,9.516144504307137,2.37064188034188,460,16,94,10,8,152,85,117,0.268,0.619,0.113,-0.9767,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,7,0,7,4,1,2,1,19,14,12,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,3,12,2,12,13,5,14,0,3,2,0,1,8,1,3,4,60,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22377299013665675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901284652841996,0.22050366336039612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337739529145597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229898522367989,0.0,0.1212825677857435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22683876583896104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30146750208714723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506131668777453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043823057335727,0.0,0.0,0.20419907097125164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21346202593122304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417454436947121,0.182246085429608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005557819094638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21905642230776315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21106228540392874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477788122248375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608087695911576,0.12587137092403364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24540438523683344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747718857916007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Onionhermit,2018/01/27,"Is it normal not to feel things most of the time? Emotionally, I don't really feel anything most of the time. I've been this way my whole life and never really saw it as a big deal. It's not that I have no feelings and I'm actually pretty good at dealing with the feelings of others. I'm also pretty great at managing my own feelings *when I feel them.* It's just that if you asked me how I'm feeling at most points in the day I'd have no answer. Emotions in my experience are momentary abberations in an otherwise flat day.

I've always been fine with this.

But now I'm being told that you're supposed to be able to feel and to say how you feel *all the time* in terms beyond ""fine"" or ""neutral"" or ""room temperature"" or ""nothing"" all of which are great descriptors for my baseline.

Is this a problem?",2.0150813008130086,3.936863841463417,3.9996097560975614,85.860837398374,78.26829268292683,7.056260162601626,23.738211382113814,8.021203637495839,1.2996996747967482,626,21,131,11,15,213,94,164,0.019,0.831,0.15,0.9629,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,0,7,6,0,0,8,0,11,1,0,2,3,33,27,13,0,3,8,0,9,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,13,5,0,0,10,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,11,11,5,20,21,8,21,0,0,1,0,8,11,0,7,9,89,24,1,0.12853126142267618,0.0,0.1254279702911702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027864033226484,0.10694830592834208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057702765776376,0.0,0.1201593789852952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657840609833369,0.26502017347605844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891607385313644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257282368867768,0.0,0.0,0.5849034093683958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780592395694658,0.0,0.283412338947428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078543106382304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913123251009358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593334642345605,0.12332921184234795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150358701959105,0.0,0.0,0.26152500137888274,0.0,0.12298705865548508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468083459682625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022132179503973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539045886388298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22484283646975975,0.0,0.0,0.12281712837556785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202213267955236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350056326245056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealth1980s,2018/01/27,"What kind of Life Lessons would this teach a Child? For 2 years in swim classes each year the coach made everyone fail. We went the first year and failed and the second year and failed. Nobody passed either class and it was to teach us a lesson that not everyone wins and that basically our swimming sucked and wasn't fast enough. I was 8-9. Everyone was failed as a lesson. 

Later I had soccer and we got a participation trophy at the end of the year for 2 years. I was 12-13 by then. I got no other participation trophies after that. 

So what kind of lesson is learned if I had these 2 totally opposite experiences? I lost for existing and won for existing. 

For track and field day and other competitions though I didn't get a participation ribbon. If you lost you got nothing. ",3.5919969434538963,5.638623655629143,4.803576158940399,81.31160978094753,74.03311258278144,8.08986245542537,24.198166072338253,8.841846274778883,1.7446419765664802,616,19,121,13,13,203,89,151,0.177,0.799,0.024,-0.9697,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,4,2,0,13,2,11,1,0,10,0,10,1,0,1,1,25,20,16,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,13,0,0,5,4,0,4,4,7,0,2,16,0,13,4,14,3,4,19,0,6,0,0,7,2,1,2,13,80,23,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277690507496003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274160327402243,0.1486444043677379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123892125681921,0.0,0.14072132905537896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236606380393998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516018840833037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451706266876584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996132183948257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016115936603124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31407734254559666,0.0,0.0,0.1361224991736941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803622027593124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413403581056734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304420011728486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133358376681806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219303206885487,0.0,0.0,0.555841385981858
mentalhealth,Willingtolistentwo,2018/01/27,"my roommate shows signs of paranoid delusional thinking how do i approach him when he is obsessed with what to me seem like obvious departures from reality. My roommate believes secret gambling rings placed hidden devices inside the walls of his last apartment to spy on and harass him using sonar, ""nano particle dust"" and radio waves. I've listened to him calmly on at least a dozen occasions describe the reasons he believes this to be the case. I've tried pointing out that all of this seems very unlikely but needless to say it has produced no lasting positive change that in his thinking that I can observe. Now, about a month and a half since he moved in with me he is starting to believe something similar is happening to him here. I have tried to gently direct his attention to alternate and simpler explanations as to why he might be experiencing some of the things he describes but I feel ill equipped to provide the kind of support and care he seems to need and he seems resistant to considering as a real possibility the idea that this is in his head or at all not real. He initiates all conversations on this topic and mostly now I listen passively because it seems pointless to keep pointing out to him how absurd it all sounds when he clearly cannot discern it.  Any advice on how to approach this situation would be greatly appreciated. At the moment its not possible for me to move or for him to leave.",9.2267154138637,8.380011425855514,8.945627376425858,66.96008482012286,60.216730038022824,11.590406551623282,42.28400116993273,10.727762888450028,4.710170166715414,1147,58,189,23,13,371,152,263,0.053,0.846,0.101,0.9542,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,1,1,11,0,14,2,1,6,6,50,31,18,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,16,11,0,1,13,2,1,4,4,2,0,2,0,7,20,6,43,26,7,30,0,0,0,0,25,17,0,10,10,135,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856432942600974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555090179333866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772471487598794,0.0,0.0,0.3755104514359574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327249309215676,0.0,0.11752765619149287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617482305963538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248667014467292,0.0,0.0,0.09824418236558947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401928204099855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541686957293385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987495979414229,0.0,0.11569216305653755,0.0,0.18112047989164007,0.0,0.11763744463270034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054277195806497584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785812656669598,0.0,0.0,0.08867789429298202,0.2361605969750445,0.0,0.08237825221635849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160744585610256,0.0,0.21004829697868416,0.2504941033411536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529092062502016,0.0,0.11422793086150393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835011741558824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057002592578452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190196357692987,0.1248795540765172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552917994568185,0.0,0.0,0.07863620676066578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260734482259344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380901627083246,0.14237507686103967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085740137022205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595357559994967,0.0,0.09166803364589324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024926468187212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892130389101759,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,star_fawkes,2018/01/28,"Looking for perspective on how to provide better services for the Latino community Hello! I’m working on a school project exploring the cultural considerations and barriers to Latino individuals/families accessing public services and resources, especially mental health services. I’ve found a fair amount of formal research, but also wanted to hear the perspective of individuals from the Latino community regarding important considerations, barriers, struggles, and experiences, as well as thoughts on what changes need to happen in order to better serve this population. Thanks!",13.581034482758618,15.344841816091956,12.897149425287356,33.58779310344829,50.3793103448276,15.695632183908046,53.03218390804597,14.265292616868653,9.152670804597703,486,31,46,19,5,160,61,87,0.034,0.79,0.17600000000000002,0.9097,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,14,9,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,4,16,7,1,6,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,31,2,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508188888786434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093784272935519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448320444117309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263920014449819,0.2181803323791104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537611976878453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20466096916741944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460091058511112,0.2608488612738292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19435068502929484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332363343004705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160927528695286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342288823678203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24195056054309966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130781714830251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837369167333721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365088691906317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208091685298153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684905343240921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UrbanMentalHealth,2018/01/28,"Let's Open Up About Mental Health - Cleanse Your Mind! Hey Everyone! I'm new to reddit - this is my first post! Mental Health is a topic that is constantly on my mind. Firstly, because I am someone who consistently faces anxiety. I am an extroverted person, and I enjoy discussion with people, on any topic, especially mental health. I realize that this is a touchy topic, and not everyone feels comfortable talking about their mental state, as it is very personal and also quite abstract. Consequently, it is hard sometimes for someone to even describe how they feel, let alone be confident that someone will understand them. So, here it is, a forum where you can feel comfortable expressing yourself, no matter how small you think your ""issue"" is, or how big and abstract! Let it all out. 

Now for a little background on my self. I am a twenty-something year old male student at the University of Ottawa in my last semester (it feels so good!). I have suffered from anxiety for a number of years, but I have to say that it increased around my second year of university. My studies have been a source of anxiety, as I am in the political science program and it has been really been a hit-or-miss for me. In effect, this has caused me to worry about how to approach the future, which is definitely a source of anxiety for many people, young or old! I also deal with anxiety because of how I perceive my physical self and I believe this offshoots into worries about my diet and exercise. Overall I am a very sensitive person who, when feeling anxious, is often very judgemental and silent. I know that I am at my best when I can carry a conversation with anyone, and this is how I like to describe myself to others, even though it is not always my reality.

So, this is just a little introduction about myself - I have only scratched the surface. Even writing that small introduction of myself felt difficult, because there are some things that are too complex to write down all at once, but, we have to start somewhere!Let's engage in conversation and find the courage to open up!",7.5649176807444505,7.877502391076118,7.857529229300884,69.57358088761633,63.14698162729658,10.706800286327846,36.215819613457406,10.436869588844218,3.965481889763778,1645,72,272,36,22,539,192,381,0.087,0.833,0.08,0.6792,0,1,1,1,0,0,57.0,1,4,3,5,30,10,0,0,18,0,38,6,1,8,2,56,49,30,0,0,7,0,8,1,0,1,4,1,0,6,26,19,1,0,14,1,0,2,3,2,0,3,4,9,40,8,49,40,5,45,0,1,0,0,26,25,0,4,17,219,66,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318589490131187,0.0,0.12846158511940187,0.06683154805146438,0.0,0.0,0.05461943383991853,0.0,0.3072177235194581,0.09073720871162244,0.0,0.05616066510984876,0.0,0.0,0.07150062389572613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468845041829475,0.0,0.0,0.09049161016638192,0.08428946419827517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250937470893435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867959231067165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280499772544266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591491254607313,0.0,0.0,0.15349581735449322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305760478992801,0.0,0.07711849625210528,0.0,0.07340978777400628,0.1366379993045911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736746996243778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194973104266217,0.0,0.0,0.25612489596905635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383179946994891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414102758307199,0.06547041685588438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285250310608389,0.0,0.03923963361123887,0.16100076844683084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143050100542097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237692179576815,0.0,0.16219787331451002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757224925302368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856181682874588,0.08553673716813487,0.0,0.061085949933426885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136567279615636,0.210393432175764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692306118888867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542876713309848,0.0,0.0,0.05145418160193789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638726114233521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757973021772726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20416118551770415,0.061833218062759765,0.07943719509631786,0.0,0.05684995136570342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455708561228057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336013979054389,0.0514649455299455,0.07891266235178121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361454355922714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988138849481773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631349684900914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516772491951042
mentalhealth,unburied-bird,2018/01/28,"I´m lying to my therapist So I´ve ben having problems with my mental Health a lot in my past, and 2017-2018 are the years i got to see a therapist, again. 
I started lying in early atumn. 
How can I tell my therapist this, because the things I´ve been lying about has escalated (stuff like self harm etc).
How could I tell my therapis this or should I even tell to begin with?
 ",4.555405405405402,5.401629675675673,5.330648648648651,83.20489189189192,69.81081081081078,8.622702702702702,25.610810810810808,8.841846274778883,1.7019924324324325,292,8,59,5,5,95,51,74,0.208,0.76,0.032,-0.9313,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,2,0,10,11,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,10,1,8,7,2,8,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,7,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061648729030814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905069376748205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19423179051507694,0.11502947006670453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928976385687386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512141344741384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508461947582945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806258647910087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755099256331109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625316124968562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664532846948776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387810803981995,0.0,0.1816843872537284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326966472451654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936881598617254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566643267314444,0.0,0.1991644243806509,0.6066312841864123,0.11570258872027607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215180175998844
mentalhealth,notuniqueusernamer,2018/01/28,"Feeling disconnected from reality Hello, I have been feeling weird about my perception of reality for some time now and can't figure out what it is so thought I'd ask here. 
It started when I was about 10, when I was sitting in front of the TV for too long (few hours). I was told by others this state of mind is normal to experience for a short period of time after, for example watching a movie. You know, the feeling you have right after walking out of the cinema and take a second to realize this isn't some movie universe but real life. 
Later (I was approximately 12) I got my very first own computer. It was also a time when my parents were in the process of divorcing and moving out, I was forced to change school, had no friends so I spent literally all my free time playing video games, or watching YouTube videos. This is where it started to become serious. After I'd get up and do something in real life, I'd still feel like I was watching somebody else, passively. And it didn't last for few minutes but a couple hours. 
As I was getting older, the time I spent in this weird, disconnected state of mine slowly increased. Now I'm 21 and basically living in mental state 24/7. The second I look at my phone or any kind of screen, I feel it for the rest of the day. Even if I try to avoid screentime as much as possible you know it's next to impossible in this day and age.
This has really ruined my life. I can't do anything requiring even a little responsibility like driving cause I don't sense things around me. When I'm supposed to act (this can apply to literally any situation) I often just don't, because I don't feel like I'm present in the moment. The best way to describe it would be feeling like I'm watching a video of my life, therefore being passive and in some sense sometimes not even existing. In these cases my body just goes to autopilot while my mind is completely blank. 
It used to be ""fixible"" by reducing screen time, but at this point nothing helps and I haven't felt normal like before for years. 
Any idea what to do about this? Thanks",4.730346638655462,5.731334590686277,5.710504201680673,80.0744117647059,69.51470588235293,8.671708683473389,29.522408963585434,8.942964678507748,2.311146778711484,1635,61,320,29,28,540,202,408,0.058,0.8270000000000001,0.115,0.9747,1,1,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,3,0,3,23,16,0,1,17,0,34,5,1,3,1,54,62,26,0,4,9,1,8,5,1,1,4,0,0,0,23,13,0,2,15,7,3,6,10,5,0,3,18,15,33,12,57,40,11,66,0,1,7,0,12,21,0,7,39,214,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735046732421056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751677242688736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563850244046136,0.08182414986047476,0.08592844582336226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603074503692284,0.10151328410999484,0.0782131940873872,0.0,0.0964594904832858,0.0,0.0,0.10209723448327246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442238505392203,0.09723425415538307,0.0,0.09637149709576023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170258797710836,0.0,0.11855559526757363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678348170717184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212766801662508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991085076358774,0.0,0.0,0.325326143621057,0.19699303604462787,0.0882531515186388,0.0,0.0,0.07818315087739115,0.0,0.0,0.07101357242356163,0.0,0.09604395479643488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351310307734721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160892249701174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103621222427946,0.0,0.0,0.1037612436647051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571569408392286,0.10102854658219353,0.07492327910391633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596901235873724,0.22452598915490374,0.09212332905134643,0.08116293918242168,0.08134219351033474,0.07718574563561417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262905540870947,0.0,0.1856166054227965,0.0,0.0,0.09769147216866143,0.06756835913570615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775301888521833,0.0,0.1801150576323623,0.08819525856179779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206112019184528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688971666402177,0.10362074807742803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20923958526578973,0.058883327682357614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849520780990922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302324266174658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033167059853773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076092802352588,0.09090663272443708,0.0,0.1301163174993238,0.0,0.07340371829565552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910890518565603,0.0,0.0,0.08462330627808967,0.0,0.0,0.061064475201849634,0.0,0.0,0.0729705219033132,0.3215794831084677,0.0,0.0,0.08782905713163196,0.0,0.06240449006382282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938535200431074,0.0,0.07583979099290647,0.0,0.07295812756998042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529402839711264,0.0,0.0,0.059190472686592714
mentalhealth,Jessieiii,2018/01/28,"Why is it so hard to be Happy? I'm 21, female, and I've been diagnosed with anxiety, OCD, depression, and psychosis. My psychiatrist won't give me an exact diagnosis revolving the psychosis part. He has one, just won't tell me as he thinks it will make things worse but my mom and other family members suffer from schizophrenia so it's not too hard to guess..  
Recovered from bulimia and anorexia, as well as from self harming. 

I'm currently on Zoloft and Risperidone for my mental health. 

The thing is.. I love the life I have for the most part. I have the most incredible husband, and an amazing 7 year old son (I had him when I was 14). 
I consider myself to be so darn lucky because I have them! 

But it's everything else that just seems like too much to handle sometimes... sometimes I just wish the pain would go away and that I won't suffer all the time anymore. 

I am the luckiest person in the world when it comes to my little family but with everything else I got the shit end of the stick. Every body has some bad things in their life but I feel like I was given way more than any person should. 

Besides spending time with my husband and son (I don't have any other friends), I don't really enjoy anything anymore. 
It can take me weeks just to finish one episode of a tv show or a movie by myself because I watch 5 minutes and lose interest even if it's one of my favourites. Same with video games. Art. Reading. Music. Etc. 

I have developed unhealthy cravings (obsessions) for things. Food, objects, experiences, animals, friends and even human babies. 
Sounds weird but I'll give an example. 

Ive been wanting pet birds for years. We already have a lot of animals and are low income so my husband said I could get some on my 30th birthday since we'll be more equipped to handle them. 
I became so obsessed with wanting birds that I started to burst into tears randomly every day because I didn't have any and would spend every free moment watching bird videos. 
My husband didn't want to see me sad anymore so he got me birds. They are beautiful and amazing and I love them. 
I was so obsessed with having birds because I thought they were the one thing I was missing to feel happier again... that they would somehow make everything better... 

But now a couple months later and my obsession is a new lens for my camera. I went as far as to sell most of the things I own to try and get the money for the camera lens. Even things I still wanted and liked... 

My husband jokes that I ALWAYS want something... but it's true. I always do because I worry that the one thing I don't Have, is the one thing I need to make me happy and enjoy things again. 

Disclaimer: I love my birds. They are very well taken care of, wanted and loved. They just didn't make everything magically better like I had imagined but I am thankful they are in my life. ",3.2355515587529986,5.206603532374103,4.059514388489209,86.58906774580338,74.8273381294964,6.863549160671463,25.971822541966425,7.720077496677588,1.4484239808153476,2228,80,435,31,48,713,256,556,0.122,0.695,0.183,0.9945,2,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,2,0,10,3,26,43,1,4,25,0,52,14,2,4,3,81,94,43,0,14,16,8,4,4,2,9,7,2,1,4,26,28,1,0,6,8,5,3,10,16,2,6,19,9,72,28,48,62,15,36,0,7,3,4,39,11,2,13,25,298,98,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001377776039866,0.0,0.10558361401360566,0.0,0.0,0.12943551485044347,0.0,0.04853569681378395,0.0,0.1887629079637491,0.0,0.0,0.05221030833236464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059609213087032466,0.0,0.052974411110377484,0.19337919049709887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222492341644012,0.0,0.07047373917072587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468699959788486,0.0,0.0,0.05465275130971696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065613486555628,0.07020133007873812,0.0,0.040917151871954036,0.0,0.054645587081317816,0.06439593053204168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600128573194603,0.0,0.05619395428572795,0.0,0.0707585953649599,0.12571562625116062,0.0,0.16036691846106302,0.0,0.2280831935645519,0.06206195375810385,0.11962169699118767,0.0,0.06415998549115537,0.0453255366838007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671864997707399,0.0,0.09803579902802327,0.0,0.06629539628086495,0.12172556756381872,0.036057586534378856,0.0,0.10148645608520301,0.0,0.06989246183961613,0.0,0.0,0.13507800428304886,0.11366955954605827,0.0,0.0,0.06743968715305756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444047329637898,0.1239852270384023,0.06358914123347026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097937786051245,0.0,0.05393916524983505,0.22904846048555536,0.0,0.16940167543663834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639382244146254,0.0,0.0,0.0743066992030224,0.050641658498718094,0.0,0.04663980314475469,0.04704409537149155,0.0,0.061276138755542414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665754659452649,0.0,0.2579542113726587,0.0,0.06751057283071135,0.0,0.0,0.1374107658434095,0.0,0.0,0.1107964705368258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346275159193697,0.0,0.04064486464881417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603512776749729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055791477886781,0.057758475291346034,0.06618757932326913,0.0,0.06512597851017858,0.05248284132061122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884350893780087,0.12549860642034516,0.0,0.04490710971610632,0.0,0.05066772399380722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04770318200172506,0.0,0.05545423542169645,0.05841216801404775,0.0,0.0,0.4215042571674635,0.04065336732796168,0.0,0.05036870541883656,0.0739912585289992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04307538571537458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052349249969862115,0.22453108961110302,0.05036015009391607,0.05089221915561599,0.0,0.11409039602097767,0.05881469044131143,0.057249769711421136,0.0,0.07295928852879474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443206856406987,0.06465646868806045,0.13520976400446946,0.0,0.0,0.08171374973315937
mentalhealth,Amenalk,2018/01/28,"That can't possibly be healthy. So, I'm going off my meds. So far, so good. But then, my brain chemistry changes and I get bored. So bored it becomes unbearable, and I have to take medication to stop it. I'm replacing a dangerous, depedency-causing medication by a dangerous, addictive medication.
Boy do I feel stupid right now.",2.3806967213114767,5.2841659836065595,4.600143442622951,75.66283811475412,85.88524590163935,9.607377049180327,32.21516393442623,9.516144504307137,4.2418672131147535,259,15,47,10,8,89,44,61,0.275,0.6629999999999999,0.061,-0.904,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,2,0,4,5,1,0,0,5,10,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,5,1,4,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378003069499101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24091394107488745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435117836240096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408563675649232,0.2307588369485545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029605503160372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396699392246985,0.0,0.12397164738295972,0.1829620265146924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422997871447085,0.6592468492504417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459154288557134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628684939881293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237136291633535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401103419732485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CanaryButt,2018/01/28,"May I have the genetic predisposition for Schizophrenia? 
Hey guys, I know you aren't doctors but I'm wondering what you'd think.

My Dad's mom's schizophrenia embodied itself after she gave birth to my dad at age 40 (accidental). Few down the years where my Dad was moving out she apologized for how his father abused him so much growing up and for his terrible like. He stops by next week and sees her hanging. Sounds like a soap opera, right?

Anyways. Through my mother I got Bipolar II, I believe I gained the disposition of my BPD through my Dad (who I swear has it too, most of his behaviours check out.

Right now I'm just thinking about it, not too paranoid or whatever, just wondering some stuff. If by odd chance I have it, maybe it hasn't manifested itself. Or if it has, my medication works for bout Bipolar and Schizophrenia and I've been on medication since 10 years old so I'd probably be medicating it already. I know I probably don't have it but it's a though. Some time I want to go bed free so I can possibly live in another country and just be free from it in general but I'm curious when I do, some mental health issues may arise that are more than I can handle.

Like my biggest fear is to say, go med free, get myself together, do something with my life, then fall back down and have to be dependent on my parents or the hospital.

I won't stress about it. I just have thoughts regarding whether I'd have the pre-disposition for it and what environmental faster could may trigger it. Dunno. Opinions?",3.1320202020202035,5.306011966329969,4.274410774410775,84.00939393939395,75.8013468013468,8.036363636363637,27.83501683501684,8.841846274778883,2.264368350168351,1202,50,240,27,27,392,170,297,0.062,0.794,0.14400000000000002,0.9762,1,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,0,2,0,2,18,9,0,2,7,0,28,8,0,3,0,47,45,23,0,4,14,8,0,3,0,4,8,2,1,1,19,10,0,1,7,1,4,6,5,3,0,0,5,3,35,9,31,31,7,36,0,0,1,0,24,15,0,17,18,160,54,2,0.0,0.14670866433060664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664050873603736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983802327883015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521137228999414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950484188671147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594930629824053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988616849431882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673692717001034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933402436857795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469181470020856,0.0,0.14074164044431825,0.0,0.09903165800277117,0.0,0.0,0.12260311510581735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316168539444988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923785872116636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609851924109342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745904617420104,0.18147932850007004,0.0,0.10933697666328122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124395707714338,0.0,0.13753818006754495,0.37421251140851053,0.12478331824332617,0.0,0.0,0.1450186735579867,0.0,0.13160304839009435,0.0910233190223962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168595977772599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993021983803216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748952944598344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959054992955774,0.0,0.0,0.2670018292961231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21148639492223428,0.0,0.09846811810644968,0.0,0.0,0.09866999634927832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242672752929603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532412223996946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352062479101648,0.14183752975390498,0.0,0.1417464130490427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868010472269234,0.12165435518280207,0.09830073098409882,0.07220152611976803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303334499035134,0.0,0.09932243250645696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26855906471820834,0.09014379354147156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594744447654064
mentalhealth,samuelgia,2018/01/28,"A case in the making; Lewis Hamilton nephew who dresses like a princes. Just a question, isn't damaging for a young boy to dress like a princes, how do we not know if the mother is pushing such behaviour while have clear physical distinctions between a man and woman and even in behaviour. Short version; how can this not fuc**up child in his early teenage years or even beyond that.
",7.810774647887325,7.956451450704229,6.622640845070425,79.19621478873242,62.661971830985905,9.916901408450704,38.87676056338028,9.516144504307137,3.662518309859156,307,15,55,5,4,92,55,71,0.0,0.853,0.147,0.852,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,8,0,5,0,0,3,2,15,7,7,0,1,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,7,7,1,10,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,3,6,38,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5839724841370583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429527537970284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.431950843278191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950883678058282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4952249597052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846816830341313
mentalhealth,Abigmeanperson,2018/01/28,"Past 6 months have been horrible I'm having suicidal thoughts, because of my loneliness.
In my school I have a reputation. I've been very mean since I started middle school. My friends were very toxic and rude, my relationship with my mom was very horrible. I was very disrespectful and rude to her in the past 2 years. At the start of September I noticed my behavior and started to change. I got rid of my toxic relationships, I've watched alot of videos about changing yourself, I've read many articles about controlling your mood and these things have helped me alot. Hell, even my relationship with my mom got better. It's not great, but I understand that I have to earn my mom's trust again. Even though everything should be great, I don't feel great. I feel lonely. I didn't have many friends to begin with and now I don't have any at all. I have cried so many times at night that it has become a routine. I had many sleepless nights where I just thought about suicide. In the past months I feel like I'm not worth anything and that's why I don't have any friends. I'm so scared that people will get hurt by me again. I've hurt people enough and I don't want to hurt them again. I think that if I commit suicide I won't cause any hurt to anyone again. My classmates still try to talk to me, but I rarely respond and when I do it's just a smile or a ""yes"" and ""no"" answer. I know I brought this on myself by being mean to people in the past. I understand that it takes time to rebuild people's trust and make friends in general, but it has been months with no one to talk to. I was a very outgoing and talkative. A person who loved to socialize. And not talking to someone has led me to believe that I'm never going to gain people's trust again. Like I started having doubts about my sexual orientation and that hasn't helped either. I actually forgot the last time I felt genuinely happy or had a long conversation with someone. I don't even know where to start, because I think that this state I'm in is my finish. I feel like if I tell someone they will get the wrong idea. Like they'll think that I'm feeling sorry for myself because I was mean in the past or that I expect people to respect me that quick. I don't feel sorry, nor do I expect people should respect me. I feel like they have a perfect reason to not trust me, but not having a normal conversation in the past 6 months has been horrible. I realize how arrogant this sounds. I'm Sorry.

I will be responding to comments, but it's rare that I will respond to you in a DM.",3.8573041196536337,4.953549483495143,4.708669640514302,86.09487011283129,71.64077669902912,7.897664654946209,26.54027814221989,8.27314431278463,1.5496218840199418,2004,65,420,30,37,649,200,515,0.17600000000000002,0.6729999999999999,0.151,-0.8732,0,2,0,0,0,3,51.0,0,2,4,5,24,34,3,2,20,1,49,1,0,6,4,80,93,29,3,8,18,3,8,5,4,8,0,1,0,1,25,18,0,2,24,2,1,3,18,11,0,1,19,10,70,22,50,63,5,55,1,5,1,1,33,16,1,8,40,269,95,4,0.0,0.0,0.05467349549383961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429922456038645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03917482613523455,0.0,0.04610479406168573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245916607419243,0.06187654312829305,0.0,0.0631223488545145,0.0,0.04955062657134365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057554347022549475,0.11853659495980373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283815439628256,0.0,0.0,0.06154215685785928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057890047880655986,0.0,0.1110143426418471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035274165248836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829973321243005,0.12007539897518366,0.05379394415250893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314283210459305,0.0,0.058542760814772075,0.0,0.0318409841778013,0.0,0.08961855057573229,0.1853072707830252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059640938433923735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510637023314809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399088505213971,0.06324676740541298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061581075566506736,0.045668835871404564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685787208216413,0.0,0.0,0.0495814295539733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050565838615659504,0.0,0.03739792777123505,0.2272071182029489,0.0,0.18308688999287973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685164713164305,0.17887833346337711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043210864222371234,0.0,0.0,0.10515359862969703,0.05489378670661363,0.0,0.0637862072379488,0.0,0.0,0.0379648073740918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32090012059622824,0.2718906197498393,0.04891992232973879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056041367810126766,0.0,0.0,0.05760427125154668,0.0,0.18045353510556472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056092006380055855,0.113403023790588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634545682923992,0.0,0.0,0.057111661799782665,0.1424124684167396,0.0,0.0,0.18815025313663572,0.19827818600366007,0.0,0.044742600741561535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385072888838425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04212473460750078,0.1350952272223911,0.048969373781320436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03722132198323598,0.10769799231818752,0.055045463251776346,0.08895709926499866,0.09800799437330064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038038116436556926,0.0,0.0,0.11665051330509572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231137438777398,0.03304570807826703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055493688758418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125586147300355,0.0,0.03607903998069354
mentalhealth,sisterconcerned,2018/01/28,"(TX) I think my doctor handled handled my request for a therapist wrong. Can you please give me your opinion on this? Hi! Thanks for reading 
 
Some background: I'm 20, female. I grew up in an abusive home (read old posts for context on that). I decided I needed a therapist but having military insurance I needed a referral first. 
 
I went to my doctor for my referral. I told her I needed a therapist for anxiety, which isn't wrong, I just didn't want to go into all the details. She asked me a few questions I can't remember them all but some were;
 
- are you awkward in social situations (answer: yes)
 
- do you have anxiety attacks (answer: not often)
 
- are you depressed (answer: I don't think so)  
 
---- 
 

  
She gave me two tests, one for anxiety and one for depression, and left the room so I could answer. Each test had six questions. The first 5 were on a scale of 0-3. 0 being ""this never happens"" and 3 being ""this happens most days"". The last one on each was something like ""how much do the things listed above effect your life?"" I can't remember all the questions but here are some; 
 
For the depression test; 
 
- do you have trouble remembering things? (answer: 3)
 
- do you sleep poorly? Either over or under sleeping? (answer: 2)
 
- do you have trouble motivating yourself? (answer: 2) 
 
---- 
 
She took the tests back and ""graded"" them then told me I was severely anxious and mildly to severely depressed. I told her again that I don't feel depressed. She asked if I answered to the best of my ability. I said yes. She said maybe I'm depressed and just can't feel it.  
 
She then asked me if I was okay taking medicine. I said I'm not against it. She prescribed me 10mg of a medicine I can't remember the name of. She said it treats anxiety and depression and that it doesn't cause weight gain. 
 
After that she told me she wouldn't refer me to a therapist but would refer me to a counselor. She set up a follow up appointment for 4 weeks and said if I felt any negative side effects from the medicine to make an earlier appointment. 
 
---- 
 
I just feel like mental Heath is more nuance than two five question tests, yaknow? I'm hesitant to take the medicine. 
 
I need some outside opinions.  
 
Thanks for reading!  
 
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mentalhealth,tigereyetea,2018/01/28,"deja vu help hello all,
i am 31 years old, diagnosed with MDD and CPTSD. for years now, on and off medication I get de ja vu several times a day for a few weeks at a time. then it goes away. I also have been known to have auditory hallucinations but its just the PTSD. I have never heard of anyone who has deja vu like this. Am I alone lol?
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mentalhealth,thesepotatoesofmine,2018/01/28,"What do i do if my psychologist makes me feel like im an attention seeker I’ve finally found a courage to tell someone about how i feel, I’ve been going to a school psychologist for couple weeks now and she makes me feel like im an attention seeker, i said i feel depressed etc and she said „but you look happy i saw you talking with x and you were laughing” she says these stuff all the time and just seems like she genuenly doesnt give a flying fuck about me.. i cant go to a normal psychologist because i would need her or my family doctor to find one for me and she thinks its not nessecary, and i cant pay 150 for 5 min doc appoitment rn.. what the hell do i do i feel even worse than when i didnt tell anyone about how i feel:(",-0.07842105263157961,2.1156046242038222,2.138364063023804,94.44916862219245,88.74522292993632,5.598256788467985,17.81729802212538,7.0608816371341465,0.08488025477707017,574,15,133,9,19,193,90,157,0.07200000000000001,0.7859999999999999,0.142,0.8292,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,9,9,2,0,8,0,11,2,0,4,1,31,31,11,0,4,4,0,6,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,7,0,0,12,0,1,2,5,3,0,1,7,11,27,6,12,23,2,8,1,1,2,1,16,0,2,3,9,81,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774826071032526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521803639076285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468105657986014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040565524448725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308661306637066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559089305128951,0.09233360619292066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178675147407826,0.0,0.4241088168040079,0.1997398595279016,0.0,0.1531391319347169,0.12777055008140978,0.0,0.0,0.1532785449943445,0.0,0.12923868275623493,0.0,0.13410457738077292,0.15889800311765587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881490421738489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30200624787012026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489105295886406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739300764409702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662915726488444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365658841142036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369699039850743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472904554086248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659550577243745,0.11117098883083247,0.0,0.14148050455355576,0.0,0.1272645685557037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184482695013164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003239632192726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236232375070927,0.2443748492296515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957530868382818,0.0,0.0,0.08151587750618379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213551398321284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246355275853778,0.09930670892164584,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flatcologne,2018/01/28,"I just feel so irritated all the time that I want to kill myself to make it stop I almost constantly feel this mental irritation which comes along with discomfort in my chest, similar to what you feel when you're really angered, just before you're about to loose your mind and snap. Only instead of feeling it for an instant it will hang around for hours or days on end.

It is such a terrible feeling that I often wish I could swap it for torturous physical pain instead of torturous mental pain, and many times I've inflicted on myself intense pain just so it would override this feeling.

I cant live life like this. What can I do to make it less bad?",10.541171875,6.976273898437501,9.9736875,69.1525625,60.015625,13.677500000000002,40.44375,11.602472056035307,4.4387574999999995,521,19,100,11,5,169,85,128,0.316,0.62,0.064,-0.9916,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,2,0,0,12,11,4,1,3,0,7,5,1,2,1,27,18,6,1,4,4,0,6,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,15,6,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,10,0,0,0,6,12,1,17,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,9,69,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237946608037084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546639961585152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705825542639027,0.0,0.0,0.12948817462254136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108372684306602,0.0,0.1644451553562457,0.0,0.12149790790974327,0.0,0.0,0.09813911707361488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478027688081728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4616600158727442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498599369008589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835708582368744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748442274733076,0.0743441329310893,0.0,0.1343717126548975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315356882816216,0.15427972777142054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067095633118572,0.0,0.15365153984745894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573456640970847,0.485769002065948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748604063874967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272235987566448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774668189498005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975568875927413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499165584501108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809946645891977,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sesame-chicken,2018/01/28,"How do I know if I should quit work? Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right place.

Basically I have been working in the same place for 6 months and for the past 2-3 months I’ve been dreading going to work. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts throughout that time and I was recently diagnosed with panic disorder. I’ve just started seeing a therapist. 

I really want to quit work but I feel like it’s letting the panic disorder win. I’m also worried about money if I do quit since I have no idea when I’d get my next job. I have a lot of medical appointments and I get particularly anxious about the fact that these can’t be done outside work hours so I have to take time off work for them. Can anyone help me with this please? ",3.3489818181818194,4.451293946666667,4.7535151515151535,85.27009090909092,72.86666666666667,8.387878787878789,26.303030303030305,8.841846274778883,1.7854666666666663,572,19,123,11,11,191,96,150,0.175,0.718,0.107,-0.8223,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,10,7,6,0,3,7,0,18,2,0,1,2,22,30,11,1,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,6,2,14,3,13,21,2,16,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,4,11,74,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224793597456687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031631537102165,0.0,0.08065766017953277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708109980070555,0.0,0.0,0.2644095895398344,0.0,0.0,0.11804640358916713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832605882419895,0.0824083702207876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053460279489467,0.0,0.06555789865484749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731883820838259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135996949427772,0.0,0.0,0.1302197552895204,0.0,0.0,0.11447028100750566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339511819895524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795649260895548,0.0,0.056355761228861274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098069190670991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620624297043515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414769454450108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267946825289405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706843212099113,0.0,0.0,0.1101177100708814,0.0,0.0,0.2410391463389281,0.12662320609292535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680770761261619,0.0,0.0,0.07389823262148774,0.0,0.1138973978378936,0.0,0.0,0.09851102773436944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919215890978525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542138348984047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816476095770765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261777105127661,0.0,0.10871905367720687,0.0,0.08673127271569091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393399032704034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157757916147888,0.1345267915633752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803832347252217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038711496639112,0.11714680396088364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway187532875,2018/01/28,"Should I suggest to my therapist what I might have? I am currently going to a therapist as I have mood,constant 'heavy-chest' and depressive symptoms among others.

I suspect it might be Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder or some form of ADD/ADHD, as I experience similair symtoms (based on Google searches etc.).

I was told (by my therapist) that the worse thing I can do in my situation is to look up what might be wrong with me, but sometimes I have difficulty explaining or won't tell unless asked.

My therapist is currently determining whether I need meds or not.

What should I do?",8.416111111111112,8.579243203703705,9.020740740740743,62.44833333333334,61.407407407407405,13.866666666666667,42.074074074074076,13.023866798666859,6.090062962962962,478,26,79,18,6,161,75,108,0.16,0.84,0.0,-0.9003,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,18,1,0,0,0,18,24,9,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,16,0,13,14,3,7,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,7,2,66,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634744446046376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040580068291962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716410150375315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715729343517566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117906344926371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170274422886754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305759743743842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730558809600012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422592249401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109202738022168,0.0,0.0,0.4328999845559552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008600910010995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877093195968692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289670331016192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453123887400475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138104466886064,0.0,0.0,0.1188909933725306,0.0,0.0,0.6317375084144958,0.09036831806319273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997678509191926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386201023569764,0.0,0.14872091795451056,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwawayhdhdjs,2018/01/28,"How can I stop relying on other people for my happiness? I'm a shy anxious person. My social circle isn't that big but I try to work on that. I've always taken a while to feel comfortable around any new people and I tend to feel like people don't like me unless there's some obvious sign they do. A year or two ago I finally got lonely enough that I forced myself to start dating. 

So far I haven't had any long term relationships just little flings every few months. Obviously I'm happiest when I'm seeing somebody but at this point I'd say I'm only at my base level happiness when I have someone to talk to (ie. New tinder matches). When I don't have anyone to talk to, especially just after getting dumped I feel like shit.  I blame it on myself and over analyze everything. I drink way more and way more often, I'll usually try to drag my friends out to the club on random weekdays, I chain smoke, spend a lot of time getting high and just laying in bed. 

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this? I don't want to be this dependant on other people because it makes me obsessed with it and I know I'm more successful with a more laid-back approach.",3.3867843691148782,4.73941898728814,4.923333333333336,83.11705273069681,73.11016949152544,7.786817325800378,24.55178907721281,8.344100000000001,1.5091269303201509,915,27,182,15,18,308,139,236,0.117,0.732,0.15,0.9351,0,2,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,2,11,12,2,1,6,0,12,2,1,3,2,33,30,15,0,1,7,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,11,10,1,1,4,2,1,1,5,4,0,1,3,5,23,8,30,26,9,38,0,1,1,0,9,17,1,6,21,110,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878513792474072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211405590373332,0.0,0.0,0.2503643301632676,0.0,0.0,0.13864027802845888,0.0,0.1716193463662341,0.0,0.0,0.10924808594913292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094365200032336,0.0,0.07480984110468071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265203996222423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739434528150177,0.0,0.0,0.12022027513595562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680403665470785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339809278064828,0.0,0.11029410290573796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615491825414232,0.17534441987181534,0.0,0.1344353215839494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481426787706587,0.0,0.12823375796005704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815153371072123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612784760132674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966192249153285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744448527206133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986646682796364,0.12299910707637328,0.0,0.1086045985575302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433336625534724,0.0,0.0,0.08191750356970112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795506992836027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370502323454119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933351731076343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340318333757777,0.10715561398453216,0.0,0.0,0.11601141289452292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175688232958924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759300216387401,0.0,0.0,0.09779308625371022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259717783389522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509903725076785,0.10398146443888692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686285565930056,0.0,0.0,0.10260060569364653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972776642587459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155984932325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663958270827234,0.0,0.11988099927725812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351603107524801,0.0,0.07238427556798671,0.19482110856132956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893426583885979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902857357468626
mentalhealth,Thatsrightjuliaitsme,2018/01/28,"Mental health hold record If I'm posting this in the wrong place, let me know. About a year ago I was having trouble dealing with some stuff in my life. So I went to a therapist and got help with my coping skills. But things went south and I lost almost everything in a short period of time. It ended with me doing something stupid and getting arrested. I was devestated. The next day I wanted to start over and wanted to commit suicide. So I called the police to get myself in better hands. They turned me over to the hospital who placed me on an involuntary 72 hour hold. I was placed in a mental hospital for a while and while there was never diagnosed with anything and never prescribed anything. I've come around and I'm in a better place now. However, I'm working towards being a police officer to better my community and help those in ways I may not have ever gotten help with. Would my hold have any effect on this? I'm not sure what it would mean for purchasing or having firearms and no idea how it would affect me trying to join the military or police force. Does anybody know? If it does come up, any way to basically seal it? Thanks!",3.8845436507936526,5.656042732142858,4.856190476190476,82.41103174603178,72.57142857142857,7.656349206349208,24.49801587301588,8.344100000000001,1.5685236111111105,908,27,171,15,18,296,127,224,0.099,0.795,0.106,-0.2486,1,0,1,1,0,2,20.0,0,0,1,7,8,9,1,0,13,0,15,4,1,3,5,47,36,19,1,7,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,12,17,0,3,5,0,1,4,5,4,0,0,9,1,19,5,31,21,1,42,0,1,0,0,7,20,0,7,15,118,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367400410155972,0.0,0.10581767467455873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372446909566566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739220998593897,0.09407264490822696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803813312051521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790540576293996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820583247731317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815126362148319,0.10894569478180076,0.0,0.10725731965836127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849528075672143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359617708595244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558856980493756,0.0,0.0,0.0949733616656126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042105381544866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451749335238427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232697505685132,0.0,0.0,0.2124940240426312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406802476497028,0.0,0.0,0.11929356610670908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615180364754248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805926195665637,0.07464097342919436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535612096601862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511043125537987,0.0,0.0,0.21298993640647024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630052664857082,0.0,0.11238595267994866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44162914104941015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120689060041456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135333720771433,0.0,0.0,0.07479690380989057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097193729970215,0.11559067222006375,0.0,0.09959689747585072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097290815193722,0.0,0.12269615538357513,0.07020539415278076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061619608587071564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174599973801572,0.11494343213188313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465903074250625,0.16775888389340288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592250631839112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693224192194005,0.0,0.0,0.2252042444132871,0.11553839761030625,0.0,0.06805086674888472
mentalhealth,Asdf2468o,2018/01/28,"Don’t fit in I really haven’t explored this sub too much but it seems like a good place to just let out what’s on  my mind and I’m typing on my phone so fuck grammar and punctuation. I am a college student at a large university and i feel like a complete outsider. For as long as I can remember I just cannot seem to create a bond with anyone new. I am not good at small talk or keeping a conversation. I can’t even keep eye contact with anyone new without Turing red in the face. I really want to be around people but when i am around them i just want to run away and hide. For some reason people still seem to like me and I do get invited to parties and out with people. However, I can never keep it together and act like a normal person and end up doing weird things. This has put me in a depression for almost six years but other family members also have mental health issues and I am seen as a person that can keep things together so I cannot talk to anyone about it because it would just end up putting a bigger burden on my family. I am just stuck in my head for most of the day and don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I know that I will never commit suicide because I have a good family and do not want to put them through something like that but i honestly wish i was never born and alive today. I just wanted to tell anyone even if it was just random strangers on the internet so this is actually making myself feel a little better. ",3.5828005657708637,4.367831363036306,5.1863177746346105,83.5781188118812,72.003300330033,8.015652993870816,24.32956152758133,8.269060116576782,1.3387442715700135,1145,30,238,17,21,389,151,303,0.091,0.737,0.171,0.9765,1,0,1,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,2,1,20,14,1,0,15,0,28,5,3,3,4,68,51,27,1,8,16,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,0,2,16,19,0,5,10,0,0,6,12,4,0,1,4,5,31,10,41,43,4,43,0,1,3,1,10,23,1,9,19,176,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.08406082135345504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862573901671304,0.0,0.0,0.06888662446830314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409261037043196,0.0,0.0,0.1533668332981006,0.0,0.0,0.08093195015242037,0.0,0.0,0.10502104755502148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618438021097089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031680350469144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555535750966052,0.0,0.07419279169576992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259004679292715,0.0,0.0,0.11379013713069365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243617136932432,0.0,0.08711057366197328,0.06153887772632026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963561719172688,0.04500491978735016,0.0,0.0,0.2167520010142508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840512996875455,0.09156345330372148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990842956236059,0.0,0.3828287147622392,0.0,0.0,0.09468126640143233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880846224265826,0.0,0.2104197844311796,0.08633553341877606,0.0,0.07623173997819624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057499534225343686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680948670809474,0.0,0.08697747251202598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664653759877034,0.0,0.19931087477301104,0.16639029943427286,0.0,0.0,0.08439952039062963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791571839964028,0.15042933744920042,0.08999861612398566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597853525945227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036777670280304,0.08856690634345554,0.0,0.0,0.09758053286554416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352575617631795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631525943568184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687920121779877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422385952092838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847313838476394,0.07529070062268038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445600357214313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165123770682793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323188324980085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905746438469598,0.08303648588567407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119182653053549,0.0,0.0,0.05547173647902151
mentalhealth,personal_AdS_space,2018/01/28,"I need some thoughts about certain aspects of my behavior If there is something wrong with me, I know I should seek professional assistance. However, I would really appreciate to read what you guys think about what I'm going to express and, essentially, if you think I should see a therapist.

I will focus in two particular aspects of my behaviour. They are correlated, in some sense, and have always been with me.

* Sometimes, when I'm really focused on something, I **NEED** to write down words to what I'm thinking of. Even if I already grasped the idea or constructed the phrase I want, my mind will only feel ""clean"" after I write the words down. If I don't write the words in a piece of paper, those thoughts won't leave my head. There are times when I feel the necessity to write the same word 4 or 5 times.

* Whenever I have a tight schedule, which is often the case, even after taking notes (e.g., on Evernote or Google Keep) to every event and deadline I have to keep track of, I still need to write them down a couple of times. I know that my info is safely storaged in cloud, but, again, I **NEED** to do that; if not, I won't be able to think about anything else.

Have someone felt something similar? 
I would really appreciate any feedback from the community.
Thanks for the opportunity to express myself.",2.7052942054958184,5.374640028225811,3.7889964157706117,84.25719832735963,80.16935483870971,7.061170848267622,24.91099163679809,8.167268648758528,1.7677387694145763,1029,39,195,21,27,332,131,248,0.009000000000000001,0.898,0.093,0.946,1,0,3,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,2,1,12,5,0,0,13,0,21,1,1,0,1,57,46,14,0,14,10,0,4,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,7,5,0,4,14,1,0,1,4,1,0,1,4,5,31,4,35,33,4,21,0,0,1,0,12,9,0,11,11,134,38,4,0.1266827027293034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979751262674747,0.0,0.10541015701050654,0.0,0.0,0.0861485819909065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424907028040024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401720010264588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582714256096737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673454607593607,0.0,0.10673564082960472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810916177851245,0.0,0.12163526112082115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199669936509315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543579272816113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001300096088753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430093515098102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252028138087903,0.0,0.0,0.13924300076226548,0.0,0.0,0.1341386906520612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791341657750305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757344755323229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634790396685088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671698486779995,0.0,0.24346854979316376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094971241044128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733784292163001,0.2925796011536911,0.12529243226760226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116897004233996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524962659555566,0.0,0.0,0.11663241231525626,0.0,0.14708838193718107,0.0,0.3246926427423884,0.0,0.20114383074371145,0.2216091081502971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375059284987425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472074030539311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799835146291806,0.13850764845065056,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,franticshouting,2018/01/28,"Helping my stepmom with persecutory delusional disorder (10-15 year long belief that she is being cyber stalked) This is actually my ex-stepmom-in-law. (Complicated—she is my ex-husband's step mom. But doesn't matter, I love her like she is my own mom—hence, I will just call her my mom.) 

My ex-father-in-law (who I am still close to, so I will just call him my dad) tells me that mom has suffered from delusions that she is being cyber stalked since the 90s.

At it's worst, about 4-5 years ago, she was hospitalized for a little under a week after fully planning out her suicide. She was going to take her laptop to a hotel and kill herself with the laptop open to show the ""stalkers"" what they had made her do to herself.

In the last 5-6 years, she's gone through 10+ phone numbers, 10+ mobile devices (constantly getting rid of phones and getting new ones because she believes hers have been compromised somehow.) 

Once before (years ago) she's come down and totally taken apart the family computer because she believed someone had broken into the house and installed something in it, some hardware.

The delusions always change and evolve over time. But they are always centered around cyberstalking. She can never say why she thinks the stalking is happening, exactly—she isn't sure herself, but she speculates. The person/group she thinks is stalking her is always different, too.

My dad can't even have his laptop at the house because over time it gets to a point where she is disassembling it or going in and running updates and deleting files to the point where it's un-usable.

In just the last 6 months, she's pointed to a red light in the back yard, off in the distance (a neighbor's appliance probably, or something completely innocuous) and told me that it's a drone that watches her.

If her phone tells her that updates are available (""updates"" is a word that scares her) and a car just so happens to be parked on her street, she assumes the person in the car is sending signals to her phone to try and watch her somehow.

She reads way too into people walking around in the neighborhood, like if they walk by the house looking on their phones, she assumes it has something to do with her.

The worst thing she does is day in and day out read the ""logs"" on her Android phone and tablet. I don't know how to explain what I mean by ""logs""—it's like a thing you can look at on your phone that keeps track of every activity, but to the layman it looks like gobbeldy-gook. 

The logs barely make sense to me, and she most certainly doesn't understand them, but she reads them as a way to keep herself feeling under control and reads words and phrases that scare her. ""Node."" ""Fatal error."" ""Runtime."" ""AVD."" ""Tether."" Whatever gobbeldy gook comes out. Then she'll google what it means. AVD for example is some kind of emulator and now she thinks someone has a copy of her device somewhere.

She works part-time at a library and she currently believes people at her work are tapping into her phone and reading all her texts, etc. There's a man who comes in regularly who just started coming in—the man remembers her from a church she used to go to. She brought the man up to my dad, and he doesn't remember this person...not a big deal. It happens. But she's convinced that her phone and the computers at work ""do weird things"" now when he comes in. 

Also, recently, she cut ties with some extended family because she believed they ""installed a server"" into her phone charger when she accidentally left her phone charger there overnight...she swears that once she plugged her phone into the charger it started ""acting weird"" and the logs suggested that someone had been downloading data from her or something...she insisted that this extended family member had said things that implied she'd tamper with the phone charger...

I work in tech in the Bay Area (she's in rural indiana) and something about me working out here comforts her, like I have insight and knowledge about all these things that scare her, so she trusts me a lot when I try to explain certain things to her and it seems to comfort her. Often she'll screencap things to send me or text me long texts with her worries and concerns and speculations and I can define certain terms for her, or assure her that what she just saw pop up is just a marketing trick, or whatever.

I understand some of her triggers...she was assaulted and stalked when she was a teenager, as was her mother, so it makes absolute sense to me that her delusions are a reflection of that...she is so close to her family. Me, dad, her granddaughter...all of us are her whole entire world.

She is VERY functional besides this. She does a great job at work. She is a wonderful grandma. She takes care of herself and the home, and then some. She had to quit a wonderful job about 5-6 years back when the delusions got really bad, but she got back into the workforce about 1.5 years ago and is doing well. 

The more I comfort her the more she seems able to get apps like Facebook and Instagram back so that she can stay connected to the family.

But the delusions really don't go away, and I know they probably won't. Dad knows they probably won't, and after living through years of having to keep TVs unplugged and covered up because she believed people were watching her through it (this isn't the case anymore...they can use TVs normally) it's obvious that he isn't going anywhere. He loves her so much. We all do! 

Anyway...they can't do therapy because they don't have the resources but she is on anti-anxiety and ADHD meds from the doctor. Again, rural Indiana.

She's great in all other areas...but I wish there was something that could be done to get her to believe that the stalking is over. Short of coming up with something big....writing a fake letter that looks official and sending it through the mail...which I would NEVER do, but I'm just saying...I don't know what it would take to actually help and comfort her to believe that this isn't happening anymore.

I don't think there is anything anyone can do.

We just try our best to listen to her. We don't judge her. We love her. We don't roll our eyes at her. We hear her. And we do our best to help by explaining things when she asks for help etc.

Is there anything else we can do?",5.270004257648561,6.35679041895262,5.413713379153744,82.3791200352777,68.33499584372402,8.229057437706548,31.046459055613,8.444882265815728,2.30781334063216,4946,197,933,71,82,1558,446,1203,0.061,0.845,0.095,0.9935,4,0,7,0,0,1,197.0,12,2,10,11,54,42,4,3,65,0,98,5,1,7,13,171,172,76,3,7,27,9,1,6,1,8,1,4,3,4,64,75,0,4,28,8,0,23,20,15,1,1,24,16,165,27,129,134,24,145,2,1,10,3,191,69,0,24,56,650,229,20,0.04146181233162555,0.0,0.08092149579466756,0.0,0.04982904117137082,0.0,0.11026018490814504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03315699634186075,0.10349864788934246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03171817294772265,0.0,0.04111897671165127,0.02899106321742688,0.0,0.06823907754712875,0.07381960677965486,0.038761197596820784,0.0,0.038954737524963236,0.1275262975923251,0.034618881435849264,0.15164841577638152,0.0,0.0352809484874387,0.3269928499055794,0.08702322810299838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467429219822775,0.0,0.042273080957030536,0.0,0.043861099806737136,0.21429408026360205,0.043471921385718836,0.044805489551804856,0.046502948099380284,0.03310388336842782,0.0,0.0,0.05347887780749022,0.04274530793183588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043318769189635516,0.04751882901500525,0.042437921808837535,0.07256702275525646,0.04242982924902465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03463602393951813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248176136976127,0.02738513600937354,0.0,0.034933365122697166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543253329727786,0.0,0.02096433810293932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831042835039227,0.0,0.11781851717951468,0.0,0.06632159786047936,0.09142358893734603,0.0,0.0,0.14665817486047386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04673047585047637,0.0,0.11116391531357732,0.0,0.041589578358161856,0.0,0.0,0.1435240939836393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228890215308596,0.11055949156665207,0.04587135226637761,0.043176097227806416,0.09114531094957466,0.06759382176930012,0.0,0.0,0.045048380413936745,0.0,0.0,0.12153688312917753,0.041555628365215334,0.03661153990444067,0.07338479837268748,0.13926991973717626,0.0,0.0,0.03524935015590803,0.11226271321957047,0.03923216933286621,0.05535216337521843,0.0,0.0,0.09032813715186093,0.0460547266039243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942382939747165,0.033094423034340306,0.0,0.03047920272101552,0.0,0.06395581141960381,0.04004407671478983,0.0,0.0,0.04062377290869512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831095393202346,0.028095597076046596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044899102331034314,0.0,0.0862332004251438,0.10860856581396378,0.0,0.0,0.1175844428864408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341085389337896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409974105004268,0.20736516243439976,0.0,0.05312299734004206,0.0,0.040938537687170484,0.0,0.09393630174892403,0.0,0.03943967818686367,0.032972097321401,0.12453152164679865,0.0,0.0,0.07549055349988919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03429763961526714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053913771197593,0.19151597264257228,0.0,0.0,0.05869376834220296,0.04419277527584284,0.03311145688644255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045352493166346895,0.0,0.03907726744216333,0.0,0.09352236866151492,0.0,0.07247890296238924,0.0,0.04741519583398853,0.0,0.22036308621809472,0.10626822075000164,0.0,0.0,0.04835343239526653,0.0,0.0,0.039618538489800896,0.0,0.08444954684499946,0.0,0.0,0.0863264177331384,0.0997469103532838,0.07161938717377958,0.0,0.03421033740585131,0.0,0.06582091348067202,0.03325816491446359,0.0,0.03727914864961649,0.0,0.03741283665692532,0.0462906327815794,0.0476790379785359,0.0,0.08992713366229342,0.18110815911134984,0.0421064830270305,0.0,0.05890656376575161,0.0,0.0,0.1869003343385654
mentalhealth,Reveriexo,2018/01/28,"How to overcome my defense mechanism of pushing people away? After experiencing abuse as a child, and many other instances of my trust being broken, it’s way too easy for me to push people away. I try to be friendly and am generally regarded as such, however as a relationship begins to go deeper, it’s as if an internal alarm goes off, and my body wants to prevent that from happening. 

   My husband is one who didn’t give up on me despite the many times I pushed him away. I rarely do anymore, as he has earned my trust. I am thankful he didn’t give up on me. However, for the standard acquaintance, I understand them not wanting to push on their end. The thing is I want more quality relationships. I recently lost someone who was like a parent to me most of my life. People are reaching out, and I want to be ok talking about it and accepting their comfort. However my body still wants to push away. ",4.409912087912087,5.8566792571428605,5.708000000000002,78.11553846153846,70.71428571428572,9.041758241758243,31.747252747252745,9.466822959209583,3.0313692307692315,710,32,133,16,13,238,107,175,0.064,0.759,0.177,0.9451,4,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,3,2,10,11,1,1,7,1,13,3,2,1,0,21,26,12,0,6,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,8,6,0,2,2,0,0,6,3,3,0,1,4,1,23,8,33,19,2,24,0,1,0,0,17,11,0,2,7,98,31,1,0.0,0.1532679884692171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828830217959256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4861441153046154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873749862402884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114572726164901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994161203964004,0.0,0.0,0.24818381793962224,0.0735170898841666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439078594748205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913693280606036,0.06319774807862112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120945609506627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622972650275988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765627785155061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363666733600572,0.0,0.0,0.2690414927305217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772534517169054,0.27776400139290536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960455014786384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330540607667538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397300019759474,0.0,0.11909539763909115,0.0,0.0,0.08593965747317618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542964638984744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782553986005129,0.0,0.0,0.13466616207271195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814932788367796,0.10267829982199683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trynagetthrulife,2018/01/28,"Some tips that help me cope. Thought I'd share it incase it might help others. Some things to keep in mind:
- Your disorder does not define you.
- Find coping habits that are effective to combat stress.
- A little meditation every day goes a long way.
- Your thoughts are temporary and ever-changing; they are not facts about yourself and some do not warrant your attention.
- Use exposure techniques to help you get started on things that are difficult or cause you great fear.
- Exercise is important to improving focus and concentration.
- Make more time for self-care because it makes a huge difference.
- Have rewards in place AFTER you accomplish something difficult.
- With a bit of time and effort, you will heal and eventually conquer your mental illness.

I literally wrote all this down just now. It just came to me. I'm right now in the midst of having clear, level-headed thinking which is rare for me. I'm struggling with my own battles, but these small tips that take a lot of effort are important in successfully combating my fight with mental illness. In no means are they the answer to fixing everything, but they do help. These are just things to keep in mind, to help create some positive thoughts and behaviours. I did go through CBT and I am going through group therapy for a month. I definitely encourage anyone suffering from mental illness to seek help from mental health professionals. 

(Side note: if you do seek help, and the professional you confide in doesn't seem like they are helpful - I have had an experience like this and so have my friends - don't be discouraged. Try seeking multiple counsellors, psychologists, doctors, etc. until you find the right one that provides the appropriate therapy or treatment that fits your needs.)

My tips are a bit vague, so if you need clarification, don't hesitate to comment or message me. Best of luck on your journey in defeating mental illness!",5.575267857142855,8.279297419642859,5.494666666666667,75.61700000000002,70.33928571428572,9.003809523809524,31.735714285714284,9.558583805096642,3.4456757142857146,1527,69,247,38,30,476,191,336,0.12,0.6729999999999999,0.206,0.9884,0,0,1,0,1,0,54.0,0,15,4,9,8,20,2,3,13,0,27,8,0,5,3,60,49,19,0,4,13,0,0,2,1,2,8,0,0,0,19,13,0,3,12,1,0,4,7,10,0,1,7,0,32,10,38,39,12,34,0,3,0,0,35,19,0,13,12,167,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612645045576452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341108620159809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194962797246346,0.0,0.1913122067911842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021158771200744,0.0,0.09000776527515696,0.09268816838003764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650632625307232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154210428732094,0.10041775615230916,0.08968067968309848,0.07667505436040267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771716974372614,0.0,0.07925544772672004,0.07382189782839284,0.0,0.07874535957887117,0.08570716304822386,0.0,0.09859454767743724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016242930383934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769340717669997,0.0,0.04577676011084948,0.0,0.09959059491658097,0.0,0.0,0.09659909398841013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899212896338866,0.09313377863154318,0.0,0.0,0.4698276945069423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575771113043174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561140461972512,0.0878161992294985,0.0,0.07753912439580443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448964382867257,0.0,0.0,0.11697131767620532,0.0,0.0,0.09544162848945263,0.0,0.0,0.4414914044019016,0.09294879379174101,0.17693829532610958,0.0,0.0699358079975907,0.0,0.0,0.12993519244257218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937218729117005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154210428732094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965049306357275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976408668194415,0.0914046256896311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745257490113825,0.0,0.0,0.06201643263543296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036606028674368,0.09159730030089472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587779066183659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20039751281193985,0.0,0.17462840874481042,0.05614204147709388,0.0,0.20867658459575106,0.1021814569938536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948683345133441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567377296611633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954704668266573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Star_Goon,2018/01/28,"Little brother wakes up and feels like he is in the wrong house Hey Everyone,

Just this morning my little brother woke up and told my parents that every morning he wakes and feels like he is in the wrong house. He also said sometimes he thinks that his Mum and dad aren't his real parents, but only during these nervous mornings. He states it makes him feel nervous, and he thinks of good things to help him. He said it lasts around 30 minutes. He is only 6. We were very surprised that he was able to come to us and explain it so well. He said its been happening for years, and he never told my parents because he didn't want them to feel sad or worried.

I think this might be some form of anxiety? and maybe he's own way of describing his feelings is comparing it to how he feels when he isn't at home and is away from his parents. That is the only reason I can see as to why he would feel like he isn't at home.

We will be organising to see a doctor and then potentially a psych if he needs one. I just wanted to hear your opinion of this issue.

Thanks :)",3.3230472350230436,4.453205898617512,4.163891129032258,89.36583669354839,72.963133640553,6.715322580645162,25.544066820276488,6.9077264865688965,0.9036177419354838,828,26,177,7,16,266,121,217,0.083,0.799,0.119,0.8926,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,1,1,0,8,12,0,2,5,0,19,3,2,3,1,42,46,19,0,5,5,8,7,3,0,3,1,4,2,0,14,14,0,0,12,0,0,1,5,5,1,1,10,13,17,7,23,31,3,18,0,1,2,0,47,10,0,5,8,104,31,2,0.0955408252173673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640396340837921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308846978454762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505159027467524,0.0,0.0,0.08976375030336296,0.0,0.0,0.05824080027462816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822999611619509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779008302137776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049726588763499,0.09129335280731092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381581833734893,0.20476315387574015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013511128857766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448643621129716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768145371564668,0.0,0.0640390012290396,0.0,0.19167047523150849,0.0,0.0,0.220482569488206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997197992412626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787852421623014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002926374314975,0.1915140126863456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377424271925895,0.0,0.0959836004905654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135371736421292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084231130527725,0.07368697431267962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474093578327919,0.2179893084368332,0.0,0.0,0.4243471196380526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874637564591047,0.0,0.0982318806254234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27264361023163863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226733597180336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449231911255136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796115554546227,0.0,0.0,0.06347307896338522,0.18365610908954788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258670561462187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492384910495615,0.0,0.0,0.07883118664898599,0.11270490818125775,0.07583585999818487,0.0,0.0,0.08590267586225467,0.0,0.08621073433393436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702634567025553,0.0,0.0678694610342269,0.2089177882503632,0.0,0.061525159010985764
mentalhealth,laterlatte,2018/01/28,"Felt like I got a ""pity diagnosis"" in therapy - help? Background:

* I went for a formal psychiatric assessment a couple months ago, and the psychiatrist was hesitant to label me and instead said I had *symptoms* of GAD and persistent depressive disorder. I figured it was hard to really ""label"" me obviously especially since my functioning isn't impaired and I can go to work, social events, etc. just I'm just permanently in a lower mood and in a negative state. Not going to get into it here, but for as long as I could remember, things have felt off to me.
* A month after my appointment, I then started weekly psychotherapy appointments with a psychiatry resident (which is free and was the most available service to me compared to if I were to seek out a therapist/psychologist).

I honestly feel that if I went a few years ago, any diagnosis would've been more obvious. However, I have found my own ways to cope more healthily with more negative symptoms and feelings, and tried to remove triggers in my life. Yet, I still struggle with a lot of things today... just at a more maintained level.

I asked the psychiatry resident if there were any diagnostic labels she would apply to me, and she said she spoke to the original psychiatrist who did my assessment and said we could go through the DSM criteria together and see what applies if it would make me feel better. So she asked some questions and ended up saying ""yeah it seems like those labels would fit""... but I'm not convinced she really ""believes"" I have anything aside from maladjustment and some negative thinking patterns.

I hate the feeling of having to almost convince/prove to someone that something's wrong... I've known that things have been off almost all my life and have already told her about all the negative/abusive situations I've grown up with, my lack of self-esteem, inability to handle rejection, dissociative moments, etc.

I know some people are hesitant to label, but it seems incredibly invalidating to me especially because I know I'm not as well-adjusted as most people I know, but I also am fully aware (and grateful) that I'm not suffering as much as those who can barely function with their disorders. Sure, it's all on a spectrum, but what is even the point of going through all this if I'm not even ""that bad"".",8.233791925465837,8.212290621428577,8.55745341614907,66.23450310559008,61.83333333333333,12.161490683229813,38.26086956521739,11.635897716609016,4.747217391304347,1831,84,305,51,23,606,218,420,0.11,0.813,0.077,-0.9137,2,0,1,0,0,0,67.0,1,0,1,3,13,16,1,1,20,1,27,4,0,3,7,82,64,34,0,11,18,0,7,2,0,3,4,5,0,0,22,23,0,0,17,0,1,8,9,8,0,0,20,13,41,8,52,39,20,42,0,4,1,0,21,15,0,16,19,228,63,2,0.0,0.10708461335384127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023147551851336,0.0,0.18100349517097505,0.0,0.0997357321275684,0.0722762407669312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122921956695401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437440876215362,0.0,0.1689847669576451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546288523669296,0.055094342169245775,0.0,0.0,0.10182644714672584,0.0,0.07993308787166932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432092822812226,0.10000290336700393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778435017997091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716486447930246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004917533531865,0.0,0.20159347313592124,0.1193892633241798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827938251854762,0.0,0.173556475969687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990961651169648,0.0,0.0,0.047219419493310384,0.0,0.20545840586214068,0.0,0.07228452972020008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809620413623557,0.08923078229235293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057929542953872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901019013560418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276750515941575,0.08830945698999394,0.0,0.0,0.07998277801057604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768371927444408,0.0,0.0,0.06032884049311454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427968460175788,0.0,0.06643913614898317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531516208063048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543758926856734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124542632573202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579850317028005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023820537294682,0.0,0.2579140444762077,0.07187319442393522,0.0,0.0,0.07202054804941123,0.1645557204317228,0.09428525202780266,0.0,0.0,0.07476263630794765,0.10159004574375637,0.0,0.09213024732525188,0.07657803166616882,0.06957834985368258,0.0,0.0,0.06397088699593406,0.0,0.07217697301027842,0.0,0.0,0.09448399879959114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518135843920832,0.18787725940792102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335653069340202,0.1049372566386947,0.18013184130993445,0.057911363785866074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566894605399142,0.08636123119233316,0.0,0.06136156722899025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173882913245548,0.07249676991366391,0.0,0.08126178546469302,0.16756491075499114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579715875460497,0.0,0.0,0.256811258872137,0.09881550439582308,0.0,0.0582012634885647
mentalhealth,nvrenoughnvragain,2018/01/28,"Wondering if anyone else feels like this - uncomfortable in your own home, Detached almost? But feeling at home in other peoples homes because there’s is “done properly” I’m really struggling to put this into words. 

Whenever I go to someone else’s house, i feel weird because there Home is done properly like a Home and mine is just a set of walls with furniture inside. 

Particularly my mums or families houses, they seem to be easier to live in, my house feels incorrect and uncomfortable to live in. 

I have never really been able to feel at home in a house I own and I’m wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this? 

Just an open question really. Maybe someone can help me describe it better.... 
",6.98423076923077,7.707029230769232,7.721346153846151,68.64740384615385,64.38461538461539,11.423076923076925,33.17307692307692,11.20814326018867,4.0539999999999985,560,22,94,16,8,187,79,130,0.095,0.8170000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.2338,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,1,5,5,0,1,4,0,10,0,0,0,2,25,21,7,0,2,6,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,6,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,6,10,3,16,17,2,15,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,8,4,60,15,0,0.09560007070317976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572966140763256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336915844960462,0.19590713985817104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655383154576544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455049367962128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19566412792991245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23958477581810586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647573715836504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901232384705495,0.0,0.2416913410412646,0.06829670961214898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433172328511096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407871222933846,0.0,0.5753679940116347,0.0,0.0,0.4412385843211176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341073119895896,0.0,0.16883322781079171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604312054419856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373266808370656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627705185410716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961044759734022,0.10709395829156264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837315598165174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703071388062303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620032593456977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999419508996799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073483973032226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MDD678,2018/01/29,"""the punishing superego"" Hi all,

For anyone here who is knowledgeable about Freud/psychology, I have a question for you about a personal issue of mine. 

There have been times in the past where, when I perceive myself as having ""done something wrong"", so to speak, my body will feel... almost... paralyzed, if that makes sense. I feel almost emotionally hurt/injured first, and unnaturally tense in a way that can't be easily described, as if my brain has almost ""shut down"" my nervous system; it sounds extreme but that's exactly what appears to be happening... This ""bad thing"" could be something as simple as, for example, buying a drink at a bar but being slightly short on cash, or someone ""telling me off"", just some minor thing like that. This feeling is also occasionally accompanied by intense anger. Weird huh.

I started reading about Freud's theory on the id, ego, and superego. Supposedly, the superego is the part of the psyche which controls moral/social principles, and in individual who have an overdeveloped superego (i.e. me; I've been diagnosed with ""mild ""OCPD before), this controls most of their psyche. When a certain 'strict' moral principle is violated, the superego punishes the person with shame or guilt, however, in some cases it might punish them with psychosomatic symptoms, like the one I described earlier. 

With all that said, am I right in my assumption that this may be the case with me? It's really starting to get me down and I don't know if therapy would help with this. Could it be something else? Does anyone here relate to this bizarre issue that I have?",8.393776595744683,8.750458687943265,8.063182624113477,68.64562500000001,61.411347517730505,11.021631205673758,36.77393617021277,10.686352973137794,4.11126170212766,1258,54,204,28,16,401,171,282,0.145,0.8029999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9827,1,0,4,0,0,0,64.0,0,1,2,3,12,14,5,3,17,1,28,6,2,3,4,44,39,19,0,6,8,0,3,2,0,4,2,3,0,2,23,10,2,2,7,3,2,1,2,11,0,2,4,6,21,3,35,23,6,25,1,0,0,0,13,15,0,15,9,152,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662819097643204,0.0,0.0,0.09750632890151527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051074929330634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018053627259605,0.0,0.0,0.10375233424960344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543528712346556,0.0,0.13611274166480505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735067860500783,0.19470027419607813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375505321296515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670061780060344,0.12477538204410088,0.0,0.119443696924092,0.0,0.0,0.1018557744877407,0.13715336447827467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495242679931964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037124809588408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370270781653486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782113740492387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172623039184476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052718384532508,0.0,0.0,0.25452374743547057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700881901099671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913639761851398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138834699964215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934707127539324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262203551058181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203688881026476,0.11639473059877828,0.0,0.2129268572378354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658803687542864,0.0,0.1219616850849526,0.0,0.07811064062417684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041264345832299,0.1159821050558536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330978289740324,0.2815999861061643,0.0,0.0,0.17260350791241227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267305939998868,0.0,0.0,0.10657104880380022,0.0,0.13943608257668816,0.0,0.1620080068547057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109759934282173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678131837204307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661464268025315,0.13330988122720194,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atticotter,2018/01/29,"Could I be bipolar? Hello! My name's Anna. I am writing this because I am very worried about my mental statate. About two years ago I started college but had to stop for a while on my eleventh mouth, because I started having auditory hallucinations, that, acording to my psychologist were caused by stress. After that I tried to keep studying normally but the hallucinations kept getting worse so I locked my course to get treatment. I've stayed a lot of time at home, not leaving a single time for two months until the hallucinations stopped, and when they did I  started going to the gym more often, picked up a hobby, travelled, and tried to do everything to be 100% good so I could go back to studying. Now I finally feel okay but I am really worried not only about the hallucinations, but also about some mood swings I've been having for a while. Some weeks I am extroverted but needy, very positive, very motivated, and really happy and energetic. Other weeks I feel like utter shit, like nothing matters and just stay in bed all day long, I also become completely anti social and shut in not talking to people for days. This has been going on for a while and sometimes I abstain for doing things I like because of it. Could this be something like bipolar disorder?",6.196813829787233,7.505633157446809,6.70833776595745,73.12718750000002,66.36170212765958,8.768617021276594,32.98537234042553,9.017664075816787,2.988239361702128,1012,43,170,17,16,330,135,235,0.13,0.7190000000000001,0.151,0.8666,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,1,13,10,1,1,10,1,20,4,2,3,1,38,32,21,0,4,9,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,8,7,0,5,3,2,0,4,3,2,0,2,6,2,22,7,30,20,6,37,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,4,28,125,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763320529107147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17615917296222813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469150403122078,0.0,0.20142249337640314,0.12164189965579475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314497790796164,0.0,0.0,0.1154805706679622,0.0,0.0,0.2638154850892492,0.0,0.0,0.1420634545479285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623093981599007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898748116530592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113810317387472,0.07868463499964619,0.0,0.12065390181935763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508808146955946,0.0,0.18778672529914656,0.09238090735148824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724696761606113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104802384975385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789823539653834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662324187821806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21523699549158645,0.0,0.0,0.09747117362536564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936377998009616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099605693997937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791336421555265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791463382897454,0.10568310232645498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376706865233377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635778741916692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111807927670816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305798503428782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227471158853823,0.0,0.08479179628216924,0.10893210275741047,0.0,0.2338747511067261,0.23479095220906826,0.0,0.18416534077671795,0.12616595511662046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852703163938706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317267715414019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844801400000913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495567951518412,0.0,0.2151831846926112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27263317289231315,0.0,0.0,0.17669666954049887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22370672994360646,0.1122429211280436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092708705315806
mentalhealth,Kitchakit,2018/01/29,"Extreme breakdowns when hungry Asking for a friend:
Usually a calm, happy, enthusiastic person. But when they get hungry, they get extremely angry and irritated. They begin to get irrational thoughts and self-describe as ""my life feels like shit"" and feel hopeless. They describe these incidents as traumatic. They don't want to be around people or do anything. This happens when even mildly not eating enough- like after 2-3 hours after a meal. What could this be?",5.58925,8.728771425000005,5.4200000000000035,74.01500000000001,72.25,7.5,30.0,8.472884824447931,2.876875,374,16,54,7,8,116,59,80,0.21,0.615,0.175,-0.5234,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,5,0,5,7,1,0,3,0,5,4,1,0,0,12,15,10,0,2,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,6,5,8,11,1,9,0,1,0,0,8,1,1,1,10,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838557802794858,0.1988913375188104,0.2088677187586241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838284237590718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286146319572729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308527809336807,0.0,0.14756692880515251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593592284695485,0.15961142884921192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261388508643322,0.0,0.3501834848751632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756973674442813,0.2378349474394962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22002388323021946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157808287983409,0.21830363953380466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489142897838204,0.19508189276612312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330759849917719,0.0,0.22933761507842845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737067510683946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460657754455805,0.0,0.13177901706900605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,penguinbabybitch,2018/01/29,"How can I help my bf? He is 21, goes to university for IT and i see him on the weekend. We have been together for 4 years but recently he developed some sort of anxiety. I am not quite sure how i should describe it: sometimes he stares at the wall, then his facial expression changes and if i ask him about it he breaks down and cries. He said, he just worries about everything and doesnt know why. In the past he had aggression issues if this is relevant. I support him and we talk about it a lot, most times i hug him and tell him that i love him, he is going to see a doctor soon but i just feel so helpless. Does anybody know what else i could do?",2.1718917112299465,3.55290903676471,3.634759358288772,91.02414438502674,76.27941176470588,7.592513368983957,24.863636363636363,8.296473431620573,1.3048470588235288,503,17,116,9,11,166,90,136,0.141,0.753,0.106,-0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,0,1,9,6,1,0,5,0,12,4,1,2,1,27,22,14,0,4,7,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,5,20,4,12,17,3,14,0,1,3,2,25,5,0,6,7,77,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493663080230627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253311718590726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654943003057746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589185569161704,0.0,0.2144738074542086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984744112483946,0.17086526848571956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310696801392185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547880622562487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872465818710073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096551467110546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087247839861482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037910807734199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21460943876859528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659952261966016,0.17622144703286538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863889572902808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076732325116766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278658453228176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857281984715489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31117917605416906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931080084722592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22156826501013108,0.18402154421334185,0.0,0.0,0.15693517652838798,0.1706577828883299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385229674211547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618345461843726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982866391437237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257350971923853
mentalhealth,HeartOfTheForest,2018/01/29,"Venting about unwanted thoughts and fantasies Hi friends,

I hope this kind of post is allowed - I think it is within the rules but I am relatively new to this sub. 

More so lately I have had abusive and cruel thoughts, and fantasies. I would never want someone mistreated at all in reality, but I have imagined some upsetting things. I realize we are all human and have animistic urges, but I feel disappointed and saddened by my own daydreams. It has honestly left me feeling like slightly worse of a person. It's all fiction but in a way I feel like I have let down not only myself but people whom I love and admire. It is definitely a low point in my life so far. 

Anyway, I'm not sure what I am looking for exactly. Any suggestions or comments you have would be welcomed. I have been dragging my feet in considering different options for professional help, but it feels like I should get serious about that. I think I am not taking care of myself as well as I should.

Thank you for listening. ",4.507460317460319,6.365933502645505,5.494370370370373,78.1126666666667,71.11640211640211,8.637883597883599,32.17671957671958,9.21078282632365,3.054471322751323,788,37,142,17,15,259,120,189,0.17800000000000002,0.621,0.201,0.6336,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,2,0,0,6,19,1,1,4,0,22,3,1,1,6,43,40,17,0,7,10,0,4,3,1,4,1,1,0,2,11,7,0,0,10,2,0,0,4,5,1,0,4,6,26,14,19,30,6,16,0,2,1,1,14,11,0,4,6,109,37,1,0.0,0.18422459093357588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573529884325188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585275704660799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244898833359558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31447204799353146,0.3332360716320371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012751507430855,0.0,0.08123462342373934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421848265608627,0.0,0.0,0.15443193203820996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191395660724978,0.0,0.0,0.1753941295289009,0.0,0.16893517431843175,0.15899419810224738,0.10982382723200604,0.22788671145205566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056844636769155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033150472849526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991980678960143,0.15016861911734372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182535357335452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779389190020723,0.13576371913680407,0.0,0.0,0.14698381439118385,0.0,0.14891188521988213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174214405184956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654300391202318,0.0,0.1169055543346298,0.0,0.0,0.1431499240726298,0.0,0.0,0.10329748828241002,0.1992573343586523,0.0,0.2468758343162023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170922635515596,0.12341695073698675,0.0,0.0,0.13979990884683027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584527487710149,0.22090451480889148,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DelusionalNutjob,2018/01/29,"What is going on with me? I have recently been sent back home from university due to being in an extremely depressive sate. It is best to begin back when I returned to university after Christmas. For the first day or two I was fine. After I went into a highly anxious and self-loathing sate that had daily up and down periods. Though it was mostly down I had moments where my mental state was fine and confident. This continued for a bit over a week. 

This ended when I had to return home for a few days were my mental state changed to being more confident. However, this changed again when I went back first I was felling supremely confident for a few hours. My mental state then again changed to feeling extremely depressed and not wanting to do anything at all and wanting to go home.

At this point I went to the university's mental health team and at the time linked my current mental state and the one I had been in before I went home together and said I was felling homesick and depressed. After this my mood picked back up again and I felt in a reasonably normal mood. The depressive mood though returned the next day and the university mental health team set me home for the weekend.

Over the weekend the depressive mood continued. I spend the weekend barely talking and interacting with people and mental regressed in age and being slightly clingy.

I had still at this time attributed all of this with homesickness and ignored the anomalies. However, events today have made me reconsider this. Today I started of the day as I had previously feeling extremely depressed. By the evening thought this had worn off and my mood had gone to being anxious and worried about my future and what was going to happen and coming up with unrealistic bad scenarios. This mood though quickly wore off in a few hours. Now I am feeling confident and energetic.

Sorry for the wall of text. As the post title says can anyone tell me what is going on or really if it is what I think it is. Also, another thing of note in each of these different moods I find it hard to remember what it felt like in the other moods and my memory of it feels distant and disconnected.

Edit: In fact right now it feels like I have just drunk ten espresso shots and this morning I was pretty much the complete opposite of that.

Edit 2: Okay it has gone way beyond espresso to felling like I am drunk or high on something now. ",5.421381818181821,7.038428386666666,5.776181818181822,77.93809090909092,68.46666666666667,8.743434343434343,31.191919191919194,9.178173031916092,2.8313555555555547,1914,79,336,37,33,612,197,450,0.098,0.809,0.094,-0.2368,4,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,5,24,26,0,0,26,1,35,6,0,4,3,60,65,37,0,4,6,0,8,3,0,0,2,2,7,0,30,30,4,1,13,7,1,15,1,10,0,5,32,10,35,8,64,29,11,106,0,8,0,0,8,32,0,5,55,256,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052493324013896434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883062657700048,0.0,0.14831197023105575,0.0,0.04589792330068277,0.0,0.05401719702168007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018964320768394,0.0548077437857785,0.0,0.0,0.05585591171690478,0.0,0.0688864947603627,0.0,0.071663298815418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20831937549669727,0.056544167800745074,0.06882365432860885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933283290826673,0.0,0.3392205338010381,0.0,0.0,0.06858118761752466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058138708562228726,0.0,0.0,0.043355459670807873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595106827953246,0.04689415794245631,0.12605188414773216,0.0,0.05999495914409789,0.11166891274834756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922185431695242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580463849383582,0.0,0.0588017116685062,0.0,0.0,0.13954726506638834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387072751305232,0.32921788057141704,0.0,0.12928691642824572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620707074851016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211138534156568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630569408639526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825390839457785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981026739316075,0.0,0.06431453717871381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044480243791408164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04550741251309125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205224578438644,0.0,0.06286622061180301,0.06678080072528156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205149771723399,0.06749018909664614,0.06481286487204012,0.0,0.07435879706250692,0.05605731166958471,0.062439908148527214,0.05220059652764365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847819189140536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053387979874982,0.0,0.07348006138481403,0.0464612500996363,0.0,0.052421227091604766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052759990611800006,0.05737338958796261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043609163079348895,0.042060294656179435,0.19347673235299145,0.05211186011421575,0.07655193998089146,0.0,0.12444055461165422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412201219197007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743387907107413,0.0521030087075381,0.05265349155763016,0.0,0.0,0.2434005714820152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666192660621145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JMetropolis_,2018/01/29,"Forced Repression: Do I Need Therapy? Hello everyone, I’d like to apologize for the length of this post, but there’s a lot of information to cover and without some of it, the post wouldn’t make much sense.

Today I’ll be sharing my story and asking for some pointers, because the events that have transpired in my life the past couple years have sent me into quite a tailspin.

I’m 20 years old, two time college dropout, with almost 0 life experience. In other words, I don’t know how to adult.

Here’s a little information to help anyone who reads understand the dynamic in my family, specifically between me and my father. For starters, my father and I have never had a good relationship. He has always been a very distant man, and doesn’t do a very good job building or maintaining healthy relationships. He’s an avid self-blamer who sometimes sends himself on crazy alcohol fueled guilt trips but never tries to solve the problem he’s feeling guilt over. 

Basically, he’s just a lone wolf who’s never been a great people person, and it shows in his life. He’s almost 60 and has no friends left because he wronged them all, he used to sell and use a number of drugs, you get the picture. Something to note as well, he has never been physically abusive to me or my mother, but verbal abuse was and still is a regular occurrence.

Above all though, my dad is a control freak. He has a certain way to do everything, gets upset when it isn’t done the way he wants it done, and then gets mad when nobody wants to help him because all he does is critique and *pick* at people until he gets what he wants. To give you an example, I once filled up a Brita filter from the sink incorrectly, and was made to empty it and put it on the counter until the almighty Dad could fill it up the *right* way.

With my dad being the way that he is, I clung to my mother for the majority of my childhood. She was my “protector” so to speak, and would intervene whenever Dad was being an ass. As a result, my mom became my best friend, and I was very much a  proud “momma’s boy.” In fact, there are no words to describe how close we were. Anyone with a great mom will understand!

This dynamic was very unhealthy as my mom often found herself quite literally in the middle of my father and I, trying to defuse our differences. I wanted my dad gone, and whenever my mom wasn’t home, the thought of even walking past a room he was sat in scared the shit out of me. “What was he gonna say? What did I do wrong? What isn’t good enough this time?”

So I grew into adolescence developing an arguably unhealthy attachment to my mother and a bitter hatred toward my father. And at the end of that adolescence, the year I turned 18, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I still remember in vivid detail everything that happened the day of the diagnosis, it was one of the only moments my dad and I completely said “fuck our differences” and hugged it out crying in the hall of the hospital. 

After the diagnosis, my dad and I inexplicably switched personalities, and I still can’t figure out why I acted this way to this day, but while he jumped onto the caregiver role without a second thought and started waiting on my mom hand and foot despite all the years of dysfunction, I curled up down in the basement, smoked copious amounts of weed, and drank a shit ton of liquor. My daily routine was waking up, getting high as a kite until about 1 o clock, and finishing almost a liter of Jagermeister every single night for almost a year. By that time, the cancer had progressed to the terminal stage. It was in my mom’s brain, liver, and lymph nodes.

I was terrified, I really didn’t know how to process my mom’s diagnosis, and I wanted to help her be comfortable and feel better, but I’m still just a kid, and trying to balance preparing for the worst and hoping for the best just became a big gray blobby area of my consciousness. 

Toward the end of my mom’s life, her brother drove down from Michigan to visit and say his goodbyes. He stayed with us for almost a month, and much like myself, he and my dad did NOT get along at all.

This is where my dad starts to turn psychotic.

My dad had fucked up so many years with my mom without a second thought, and right as the diagnosis came he was trying to patch things up to repair his own guilt about everything. I think the reason he became so eager to help all of a sudden was to ease his own feelings of guilt and finally see himself as the good guy, sorta tying up loose ends and whatnot. This amazing act of kindness and dedication turned into a selfish battle to keep my mom alive and in pain. 

Back to my mom’s brother. When he arrived about a month before my mother died, he knew what was happening and he knew that she was going to die. And so he started working with the medical staff to find the best way to keep her comfortable on her way out, and eventually they just decided to up the dosage of pain meds she was getting in order to keep her from squirming around in the bed and getting agitated. 

I thought this was great, because once the cancer progressed past a certain point, my mom became a different person. I really think she died before she actually died, you know? She was very upset, couldn’t articulate any words, and whenever she woke up, she’d try to get out of the bed every single time, and she’d get so mad when we had to put her back in. She had many accidents and needed cleaning, it was a very traumatic thing to watch your own mother go through.

My dad then became hysterical and started to believe that the medicine was what was causing her condition to plummet. He got in several verbal altercations with the nurse, started knocking things over when they said they weren’t going to just cut her meds, and ended up getting the cops called on him and faced the possibility of not being with his wife as she died.

This led to my dad becoming increasingly aggressive toward my mom’s brother, and eventually it got so bad that he went back to Michigan, fearing for his own safety. He did not get to see his sister out of this world because of my selfish fucking father. 

My mother died in pain, and I was holding her hand as she left this world. It sits somberly with me, and I’m not convinced I don’t have PTSD because sometimes when I close my eyes I see her helpless face, jaundiced and scared, looking up at the ceiling of the hospice facility. 

It’s been a year since I lost her, and I still live with my dad, who sulks around the house to this day. If you looked at him the day after he lost his wife, and then looked at him today, you’d notice no difference. He’s a lonely, sad, shell of a man who still lives with guilt. We don’t talk much and our lives are very separated even though we live under the same roof.

Today I was thinking about everything and I’m starting to realize that I’ve never allowed myself to fully grieve and process everything that’s happened. I can’t make myself cry, I can’t make myself focus on the subject, it’s like my brain took all of this and locked it away somewhere. I almost feel as though none of it happened, even though my mom isn’t here, like it was all a Dream. I have no idea how to go about dissecting this because it’s like a 100 pound weight I carry on my shoulders every day.

I miss my mom, my dad is still a controlling asshole, and I don’t know what to do. 



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mentalhealth,Jojotherabbit123,2018/01/29,"Mania and YOU! I have usually experienced manic episodes as me doing too much. At one time I could be working and going to school full time, volunteering, working out every other day for about 2hrs, attending the programs/groups I am a part of, going to talks/professional development events that I am interested in, trying to learn a new skill and basically doing anything that I can get my hands on. Nothing particularly reckless, harmful or mean.

However now I have an unexpected element thrown into the mix... I cannot stop thinking about sex. I have had sex with my bf every other day this week and when I don’t I masterbate. I have been having sex dreams all the time. This has all been in the past month. I have never experienced this and it is overwhelming. I was interested in knowing how you all experience mania? If so, how do you not give in to your urges? ",3.8546830265848686,6.258388865030677,5.515484662576686,74.87404498977507,74.4601226993865,8.518445807770963,27.43108384458077,9.21078282632365,2.660925071574642,687,27,122,17,15,233,105,163,0.0,0.914,0.086,0.9025,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,0,3,8,4,0,1,7,0,22,4,1,2,4,23,29,12,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,4,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,4,3,20,2,18,23,6,27,0,1,0,3,6,9,0,2,15,97,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971030850239315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495612236983725,0.0,0.0,0.2503295290619129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32703950412691113,0.0,0.0,0.18984629851005336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139815805054267,0.18617806108794055,0.22059889907555225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666062799756897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140869967075326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491183944779427,0.0,0.14267024246095455,0.0,0.14968552828533346,0.1874425058397255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862238344081517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151281165766987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016841793670266,0.18527016659159726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964180979798614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225855964458788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435785278795365,0.0,0.0,0.3395067115172001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176675950020142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375036916736626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567829957970886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825833427969723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,veryhotpoops,2018/01/29,"My friend is experiencing delusions, and I don't know how to help him. Please give me some advice. So one of my good friends went through a serious alcoholic drinking binge last summer. I was living in another area during this time but he was completely out of it when I would talk to him. Crying and saying he was talking to dead people and many things, but I thought it was the alcohol. And there was something that he said he wanted to tell me but would only do it in person, not on the phone.

At some point, he decided and immediately moved from SF to LA. And then quickly to Arizona. And then to Texas. And then to New Mexico. And now is going back to Arizona. He's been changing his phone number constantly during this time.

Last night he finally told me what is going on. First off he's completely sober now. He thinks the cartel is watching him, or maybe the government. And they are following him and listening to his phone calls. And he can recognize them by just looking at them, and this puts him in extreme danger. He has been extremely concerned about me and my wellbeing, but I've told him that I am safe and fine. He even recommended that I potentially get a gun to protect myself, but I know he doesn't have one. He says over and over ""maybe I'm just paranoid"" but I can tell that he doesn't believe that.

Anyway, I just want to support my friend. I love this guy and can tell he is really scared. I haven't told him that his ideas sound like they aren't true. I know everything he is going through is real for him, but I also know he isn't being watched by the cartel. 

TL;DR: How can I help my friend? He has no idea that he is experiencing delusions. ",2.917682050213568,4.8776663625377665,4.048086258985311,86.3690332326284,75.70694864048338,7.344973434732785,24.40472965933952,8.216663640201805,1.4251384727575789,1310,43,267,23,29,426,163,331,0.08800000000000001,0.7759999999999999,0.136,0.9241,0,0,4,1,0,0,40.0,0,0,4,1,16,14,1,1,7,0,34,4,0,2,1,50,58,33,1,4,12,0,0,1,4,2,2,5,0,2,16,18,3,2,9,1,0,7,8,3,0,3,13,10,39,11,32,42,2,38,0,0,3,1,61,13,0,3,19,178,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674246610500567,0.0,0.21160356018703935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917092865531856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381100317796556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612552795993321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154003441150877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109091724484713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472975198778567,0.0,0.20760097513375766,0.10698472744933482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874776395766443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698312421397938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538911507123071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897556314922653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845057106364098,0.0,0.08421005613852899,0.0,0.0,0.3059511853014826,0.0,0.051723848005676594,0.09497061799588254,0.1687933609254905,0.08303719984660128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802638742077713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327163401291856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351977519328048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176330701386639,0.16139778120014284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04836680522365794,0.0,0.08741954741166869,0.0,0.08313576390982845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935211508426115,0.0,0.0,0.10037130367766783,0.1989192823912002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522221557020253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561561933920376,0.0,0.0929055732438222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341710502786413,0.07529459300267148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863471073785157,0.08644370685006836,0.0,0.10867318287158848,0.09358778504095902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952317920789518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268461953693153,0.06342246729772873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417246109168152,0.15745886857388142,0.09911710250615198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621567632417678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234496962513901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591462354899192,0.25959326937916405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577175295584807,0.0634357349243978,0.0,0.07859560118742565,0.11545636121364608,0.0,0.0,0.283798609367159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678651010588816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917747620362402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065469951330858,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mjo_92,2018/01/29,"why do I feel like this? Not sure if this is even the right place to post this but long story short: Last year was terrible for most of it, but now I'm 25, have a great job, great relationship and living with my boyfriend, great family. So why do I keep feeling like shit all the time? I feel like I should be happy but a lot of times I'm simply not. Either I'm sad, angry, or more often than not, just...nothing. I feel nothing and it terrifies me. 

I've never seen a professional about my mental health so I'm not even sure if this is depression or something that you can name. I just hate feeling like this still. I thought that fixing all my problems from last year would make me feel better and yet there are still days like today where I can't even function.",3.625332167832166,4.539268211538463,4.237062937062941,89.94430069930071,72.01282051282051,7.211188811188811,23.156177156177158,7.348242739294969,0.6584435897435892,595,14,131,6,11,189,96,156,0.156,0.584,0.26,0.9666,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,14,18,2,0,5,0,12,2,1,1,5,38,27,12,0,5,13,0,6,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,7,14,12,8,21,6,19,0,2,1,0,3,4,1,7,19,82,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040359206839752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321420055521316,0.0,0.09777887240414868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249464748201483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702121865269387,0.0,0.34440975217941183,0.3244089855936474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754849718442708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084941942104915,0.0,0.11208238420125843,0.0,0.12067171234342786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265599490310416,0.10090619101347398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507597115726102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773127790846808,0.0,0.10024461002521193,0.10046600762832963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651485212706262,0.0,0.0,0.07577878513282055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440644744985902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755743942125953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178605011020834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186094093698712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872552014798588,0.0,0.0,0.10862804451392333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188330992446395,0.0,0.09694968633487504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653172896589024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739705222844782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132234216924886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139918422341717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901261288122262,0.1323946216546882,0.0,0.10760837772642996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048772179700388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064486672830191,0.0,0.0,0.14621269045812305
mentalhealth,crotesquerie,2018/01/29,"When is it time to opt for ECT I have been suffering from mental illness from a very young age, at least 6 yo. Only had my depression and anxiety professionally confirmed at the age of 15, went through the gamut of antidepressants ""acceptable"" for minors, ended up abusing the xanax I was given; started abusing painkillers because of how disinhibited xanax had me (not to mention self-medicating for various physically painful issues doctors would essentially shrug at), stole drugs etc. etc. stayed for a week in mental hospital when this drug abuse led to an overdose/ my only suicide attempt.

Fast forward a bit, medical marijuana essentially saved me from a downward spiral of painkiller abuse/possible death. It was also very helpful in reducing cravings for benzodiazepines. (IMPORTANT NOTE: marijuana is not right for everyone, I live in a medical state that recently legalized and had the support of my mental health practitioners in using it!) Had some slip ups with the pills but nothing I wasn't able to recover from. Currently my physical health is okay enough to manage without cannabis, but I still struggle with pain and the road to recovery will be long; possibly my whole life. This is something I have more or less come to terms with.

Now an adult, ostensibly, still trying to build a life and it's a slow process but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't improved immensely from my teen years. However, I still have suicidal ideation almost daily. I have some hope with my current mix of medication (sertraline/bupropion/low dose lithium) Bupropion seems to help somewhat help with motivation, and somewhat mediates the notorious SSRI/SNRI sexual dysfunction. I thought perhaps the lithium would make the sertraline unnecessary, although I quickly learned that stepping down in dose was a huge mistake when invasive thoughts came back and hit me like a palette of bricks. I don't regret learning this though, if only psychiatry didn't involve so much trial and error! (Hang in there anyone who feels like they've tried everything, and make sure you talk to your doctors/therapists about how things effect you, and make sure they LISTEN!) The nature and frequency of these invasive thoughts (and a few tics) has me suspecting I fall somewhere on the OCD spectrum, but I'm trying very hard not to feed any hypochondriac tendencies and this is another conversation I need to have with  my healthcare professionals.

I have tried almost every type of psychiatric drug, supplement, and various types of therapy. The ones I took the longest were, unfortunately, usually the ones that that gave me the most problems. For example, venlafaxine had me convinced it was helping but was putting me into depersonalized/near dissociative states which my psychiatrist didn't believe me about, and the excessive sweating did WAAAY more to increase my anxiety than the drug did to help it. I still don't know what to think about lamotrigine, people who swear by it often seem to doubt it does anything at all. Buspirone never offered me any kind of consistent benefit, did not seem to have any correlation with dose/effect; beyond the terrifying chest pains from an accidental overdose.
I have been offered anti-psychotic mood stabilizers multiple times, but I have a couple problems with these; chiefly the high frequency and nature of the side effects. Weight gain is kind of not acceptable; new or worsening heart problems, muscle/movement disorders, and the possibility of them causing hallucinations are all absolutely unacceptable for me. I have known too many people who had terrible experiences with these drugs. The only people I have ever heard of benefitting from these long-term are people with legitimate psychoses/schizophrenia.
Of course, I have taken plenty of drugs that had some kind of risk (deadly rashes, anyone?)

I feel that psychiatrists might have been leaning toward bipolar 2 for me, but I really doubt it. The only times I've experienced something approaching hypomania were definitely because of drugs, prescribed or otherwise.

I feel that the lithium has slightly reduced the suicidal ideation. Could easily be a placebo, but why look a gift-placebo in the mouth if it's doing good, right? I am reluctant to take bi-polar doses but in the future, who knows. 

There are plenty of other things I've taken but this is kind of rambling, so to the point: Everyday is still very much a battle, the danger of the modestly helping meds suddenly not working seems to loom on the horizon, and I don't want the suicidal ideation to wear me down.

Is electroconvulsive therapy worth it? Is the memory loss an acceptable risk? Can it be attenuated, beyond just using the one hemisphere at time method? It has a very troublesome past but after all I've been through I feel the need to consider everything. Sorry if TL;DR but this is a big choice to make.",9.152943950091883,9.909144657582944,8.687740593867881,63.45451252538932,59.77014218009479,12.245246155334172,40.56572202340652,11.804432270293743,5.321593461650063,3937,197,594,113,49,1256,421,844,0.16899999999999998,0.743,0.087,-0.9974,3,0,10,0,3,1,113.0,0,3,2,7,28,39,2,5,55,1,70,34,6,13,7,124,111,46,6,16,27,0,6,2,0,4,26,3,0,1,39,30,2,0,25,0,1,12,15,19,0,3,37,11,56,19,103,64,25,85,0,4,1,0,26,33,0,24,41,415,95,11,0.05014548291526479,0.178242592213624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042691527927612,0.0,0.0,0.04010132457027328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230194383277924,0.05258191110185502,0.07672231435191015,0.0,0.0,0.07012577518981039,0.0,0.041265459767214366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03855878106590351,0.0,0.06113644190320072,0.0,0.0,0.056496787374930975,0.0,0.0,0.05474587977726055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573530735459873,0.0,0.05151322416297269,0.0,0.04319589334699789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400370877327574,0.05548502306341201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319023095602165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747106782179369,0.05132602660982072,0.04388265002359434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070698803117777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044414013895048135,0.05181368858399321,0.11185093762058276,0.0,0.045359460179933635,0.04224973211305447,0.04791615786299569,0.090135053289672,0.0490519044548949,0.0,0.0,0.10142025146053832,0.03582394301420641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205965193300163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044920503115446785,0.0,0.0,0.10660460686086053,0.0,0.05942263869567551,0.20166876106012646,0.05298145587803507,0.0,0.049805779180648165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233885595806413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088752154457396,0.055117291985113774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083847512232871,0.04899710001243742,0.0,0.04427938012201422,0.08875434878737427,0.04210957618622905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388999692798226,0.05083964903131431,0.0,0.0,0.11140065405788946,0.15154889539428534,0.15160455730539935,0.05319643294814076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372539951186709,0.07436448038112392,0.03867528779521517,0.048430819875844994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048115943288349665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019396309960449,0.1906894969953038,0.1600749880237956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047869537522282735,0.13905825579326506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740368980739932,0.11306299497940407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394736456354196,0.0,0.05041006060515835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03212448040399367,0.0,0.04951261478268925,0.0,0.0,0.08564793683874483,0.04769983745245935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826022572537249,0.05231267500407752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720888526961556,0.0,0.05613376265248458,0.035493230904808534,0.05344841271886655,0.2002312371584571,0.0,0.0,0.05242294649465607,0.0,0.2194040774723219,0.056904499761384834,0.09452304840044644,0.0,0.03770316246993013,0.04030503969015692,0.0,0.0,0.11469145987155105,0.05822277062738045,0.06662886131653603,0.03213120066624612,0.04926768236172449,0.11942973638977188,0.11696093738872924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055713476610459486,0.13618196505406654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661919375832777,0.05522816493070015,0.20687637532453507,0.029577105048085764,0.0,0.04022368166572392,0.06106368891904116,0.0,0.046485365048545835,0.04524849870010221,0.055985640876457986,0.0,0.04833845608458444,0.0,0.03650650879213183,0.0,0.0,0.07124382463762513,0.0,0.0,0.03229204691319235
mentalhealth,chunk-benchswol,2018/01/29,"I feel like my mind is falling apart. This is the first time I’ve actually vocalised any of these thoughts so I may ramble on a bit. Over the past 6 months or so I’ve been feeling my mental state decline. This includes a lot of things from my outlook on life to my memory. 

I can’t pinpoint an exact event or moment where this began but now I feel it’s at an alarming point. I no longer have any enthusiasm for anything and severely struggle to stick to any sort of routine, this is starting to affect my studies (third year university). I’m unsure how to word this, but I feel I’ve lost all sense of myself. This is due to the fact my mind is the least active it’s ever been, and in turn my memory is the worst it’s ever been to the point I feel I’ve forgotten who I am or what I stand for. My social ability has declined to almost nothing, even 6 months ago I was a bubbly, outgoing person who always had something to say. Most of the time these days I’m socially inept, i never really have anything to say to anyone, mainly because I’m so unsure of myself. But by far the worst change in my behaviour is that I never really follow anything that’s going on, wether that’s in a lecture or just in a group conversation. I zone out far too easily and have no idea what’s being discussed. I could use the metaphor of a plastic bag in the wind, it’s going along but has no idea what it’s doing or why it’s there, it’s just moving. Again this was never the case with me before, in school I was a straight A student and the class clown. 

There’s absolutely no structure to any of this but I felt it’s about time I say something. Because I haven’t vocalised it I’ve never really considered that I may be suffering from something. Any comments or advice on my situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this. ",4.569379999999999,5.009674741333335,5.89095,80.65722500000003,69.58666666666666,8.49,28.425,8.472884824447931,1.9524599999999999,1448,48,290,21,24,489,179,375,0.132,0.795,0.073,-0.9702,0,0,3,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,16,9,0,2,23,0,30,1,0,3,9,52,50,19,0,2,13,0,6,1,0,3,1,3,0,1,30,7,0,0,9,1,0,5,10,6,0,2,11,9,32,3,43,32,8,51,0,2,0,0,12,20,0,12,25,205,62,5,0.0,0.0,0.09233308663799576,0.0,0.0,0.0924591813902901,0.08387275515913087,0.0,0.09474581560392643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872938686757694,0.0,0.0,0.3217159158096703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615879564496834,0.0,0.2335865617923172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535596876858628,0.0,0.0805125718789792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032978662348981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009282919755688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554441996146517,0.0,0.0,0.06102049658636155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249400387167355,0.1711739940692367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392073981527276,0.0675948014452254,0.09084769249101277,0.0,0.0,0.08048164543322404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075466759230437,0.0,0.0,0.10431619034240272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362340935655613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683117850368236,0.04622535890897276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032862402187937,0.08044046319007803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535224291368416,0.0,0.19107351976109868,0.0,0.15104566218191862,0.1005634888936346,0.0,0.0,0.29189957100119396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078809754794293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032316411429918,0.0,0.08261640098180195,0.0,0.0,0.17888834844514634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464316160116852,0.0,0.1818432890185655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22573103638654904,0.0,0.09575801881779143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068909073068354,0.0,0.0,0.1063540981033592,0.0,0.19290136726646348,0.0,0.21852365333726212,0.0,0.0,0.06697079365910825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989148139855718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114062737318858,0.0,0.0,0.08711113398257549,0.0,0.0,0.06285970041637642,0.0,0.0,0.07511577117312168,0.2206890329326225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291673162487447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171918988813988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537762814425644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721359760243308,0.0,0.0,0.06093060438633278
mentalhealth,RedPeppersAreBest,2018/01/29,"I feel nothing when people around me are displaying signs of physical pain, is that normal? It isn't that I'm a doctor/nurse who regularly is around these things. It's just that sometimes people around me get injured and I feel nothing, but mainly, my mother has a disorder that puts her in a lot of pain and I don't care at all when I hear her practically screaming in pain, like, I've heard her screaming for help and I ignore it and pretend to be asleep. I don't like her much but not to some insane degree where I wouldn't be able to feel bad for her normally.",5.005455665024634,5.071458387931038,5.724581280788177,83.53568965517245,68.56896551724138,8.697536945812809,27.778325123152708,8.418075326091056,1.7003118226600993,447,13,94,6,7,146,69,116,0.274,0.628,0.098,-0.9731,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,3,0,10,5,1,0,1,22,18,8,0,3,4,1,3,2,0,1,4,4,0,0,10,7,0,1,3,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,7,15,3,13,14,5,10,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,4,67,25,0,0.15654253505535218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180681354320109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070647798516152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960554750198608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941130738264338,0.16022791790432542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374578279026449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178701351155697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643481417228446,0.0,0.10492716147258452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295755071834632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330868652900315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507677528062107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067568944539067,0.30041356872225633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4997168831047798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170537665280592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736848506893594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482456995200009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399990439783928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,camwhyy,2018/01/29,"2 weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't move. Since then I wake up at night and spring out of bed. I think what I experienced was sleep paralysis and since then I CANNOT stay asleep. I wake up at 2AM and 5AM like clockwork and IDK why it happens. I always jump out of bed too like a big jolt wakes me up or something. What the heck is going on? I have tried everything from turning off everything an hour before bed, to sleeping in complete silence, even drinking warm milk before bed (which is terribly gross btw) What else can I do?",3.0855257936507923,4.658568008928572,3.6972619047619055,90.71996031746036,74.26785714285714,6.7634920634920634,24.051587301587304,7.3871296695380915,0.8597289682539686,435,13,93,5,9,137,77,112,0.084,0.8540000000000001,0.063,-0.5095,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,8,8,6,0,0,10,13,8,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,2,2,10,3,17,10,0,26,0,0,0,0,0,14,1,1,10,55,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060350702406012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507547428577624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083385392254657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899618535222936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748562138689689,0.0,0.0,0.1513511042637022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966646583533988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32566249523880103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296772348333004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602152483869996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784239918707892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17702899446051382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19256371111512915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34004685930934003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997448921085021,0.0,0.3626180090591106,0.0,0.0,0.13947979900063148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19311181185681744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609164916516818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300807767734533,0.19706981127600898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453301913169428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348510878590014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SupremelyClouded,2018/01/29,"Unsure of what type of specialist I should recommend my sister to see For years my sister has been pinching her upper arm to the point where it'll leave zit-like marks (I think she pops pores or something?). I've always been worried about this behaviour and I've always tried to make her stop doing it. Recently it's gotten even worse to the point where she'll even pinch her face.

I'm not equipped to help her with this because it probably stems from underlying mental issues, but I'm unsure of what type of specialist I should recommend her to see.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated.",6.440101137800255,7.082543477876108,6.3694310998735775,78.14911504424781,65.54867256637168,9.64298356510746,29.417193426042985,9.606745405546679,2.5403689001264227,475,15,88,9,7,150,72,113,0.104,0.81,0.086,0.4424,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,10,2,2,1,0,11,17,3,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,12,1,15,8,0,9,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,1,3,53,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390653444015385,0.0,0.0,0.13855400395399964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420143492633305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691441123683709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246302582325179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656638999448753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126574857819422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573718621337065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600177916035308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053276569863786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38521092242848015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196722318024352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011742133342184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247177499438777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568533274267443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703404560588551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055196228044758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832989739232193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20691356061523625,0.20763418668998684,0.14473503812412453,0.0,0.0,0.1312054950687923
mentalhealth,Heraklines,2018/01/29,"Why do people want a personality disorder? I spend 2 months in a ward, and was diagnosed with 2 comorbid PD's. Naturally friends and family were curious about results, so I ended up telling some of them. 

What surprised me is that some of my friends seemed envious, and straight up wished they had a personality disorder too. Since my time in a ward my view on mental health changed a lot, and I saw how a sufficiently horrible environment can influence your personality and mental well being. Confused about the gap between the rather miserable reality of having a PD and the outside appeal of having one, I am asking you wise people.

What's the appeal of having a PD? Why do some people want one?
Do you want one?",6.144603174603173,7.3964106616541425,7.474085213032584,67.79796157059317,66.44360902255639,11.02389306599833,34.326649958228906,10.980518767755715,4.195167752715121,570,26,98,17,9,195,80,133,0.118,0.722,0.16,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,2,0,7,8,1,2,12,0,13,2,0,3,0,21,20,8,0,5,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,3,4,2,13,5,14,15,4,9,0,1,2,0,12,6,0,6,3,73,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388288623366694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709490326748482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072590315340492,0.0,0.0,0.34039118400536633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152825716623676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999400402148407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22946379107779336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157850157153485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625067035217172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993091812261123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853248569189645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018853921368717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30885673954652604,0.388997362486204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519019418036105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228419807392938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979686213956992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659242265077098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627701082043717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352068864689395,0.0,0.26799902334775105,0.0,0.1707694036886493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aloftfirmamental,2018/01/29,"Self-medicating with Zoloft? Someone I know has a large supply of Zoloft. They only take half the dose they are prescribed but have kept the same prescription for years, so they have a lot. 

I'm wondering if I should try it. I've been depressed since having surgery, at first I thought it was seasonal affective disorder but now I'm not so sure because the mood therapy lamp I've been using for a month isn't helping. It's to the point where I want to try medication. 

I've been to psychiatrists before and I know it's just trial and error to find the right medication. I don't see why I need to see a psychiatrist when I can just try a low dose of this Zoloft I have a huge supply of. I'll go to a psychiatrist if it doesn't work.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. ",2.2181735985533457,4.054943367088612,3.8228209764918657,87.75594936708862,77.35443037974684,7.552260397830018,23.943942133815554,8.418075326091056,1.3707688969258591,604,20,133,12,14,201,93,158,0.163,0.807,0.03,-0.9678,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,3,2,7,5,0,0,12,0,15,8,0,2,1,25,32,9,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,6,0,0,1,4,2,0,2,7,3,13,2,14,24,2,13,0,2,2,1,7,6,0,4,6,78,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066638980699892,0.0,0.1405199927086992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223283167696296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926207466026146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093283705072627,0.14046601624476815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938515424601447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861221539472194,0.0,0.11068829806896983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815106874837332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039414015918858,0.14904319299209845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343072179277453,0.3327176547769736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181131128432752,0.0,0.0,0.12244748854854805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559463808524202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610847369879047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410266663805131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631866822834225,0.0,0.1722746031620664,0.0,0.0,0.13660358565413427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992061040820278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564029799266094,0.0,0.1241629748804826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18884931552352696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622017250528602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363529104422265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262592411658298,0.0,0.0,0.09740247529770872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490110600658787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908475690554018,0.12022218925923385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634324409576508
mentalhealth,Throwaway90205,2018/01/29,"Is this bipolar? And if it is, what do I do? My girlfriend has diagnosed bipolar. Occasionally (maybe once every other week), usually when she's upset, she'll start acting very different. Not normal she's upset different, but like she's a completely different person. She has totally different opinions on a lot of really big issues, it seems like what she wants out of life is completely different, and she does things she would never normally do. This usually doesn't last long (1 to 2 hours) and then she's completely back to normal. When she's normal again she says she can't tell when she switches, she thinks she's being totally normal, but when she switches back she realizes her thought processes were completely different and it feels like another person was in her head. 

About a week ago she switched medications to Depakote. Since she started, she's been acting like the other version of herself all the time.

Is what I'm describing bipolar? And if it is, what do I do?",5.461633780584059,7.411688348066299,6.206838989739544,73.58984806629836,68.8342541436464,10.254301499605367,32.265588003157056,10.451354775682146,3.886822888713496,785,35,131,23,14,257,94,181,0.021,0.9,0.08,0.9074,6,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,2,5,0,20,7,1,0,4,29,28,14,0,9,5,0,1,4,1,2,6,1,0,2,13,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,2,26,4,10,21,5,26,0,0,0,0,28,4,0,5,24,96,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806133532212868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535914642067184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398554131037053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38139794778625535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230279284115686,0.0,0.5700814161039499,0.0,0.0,0.07958273028192395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766213761800831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598229888560307,0.06496798149158554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333129006859928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955817059260825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491835736300223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741287251749762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423403390875376,0.1777159306828423,0.0,0.0,0.08047956763203325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731444448346263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136205409227588,0.0,0.0,0.09161308520339488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013899560595159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455123883655032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968487690533308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881164513032978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825887584417532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231961373992928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278890506886137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752270025467104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873644688334454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948609115519688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041689251098795,0.05827106327629195,0.0,0.07219667677041834,0.05302819410817016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003164417500928,0.07503551754646756,0.05363912098053241,0.0,0.1458941247726898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460159171495278,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,123anxiousthrowaway,2018/01/29,"I need help for a loved one Hello good people of /r/Mentalhealth, I need your help. This is going to be a longer text but I hope that at least some will read it and I am utmost grateful for any piece of advice. 

I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl with severe anxiety problems. The distance makes it really hard to support her. She cannot get any support in her country, mental health awareness is almost 0 and her family basically does not want to talk to her other than blaming her for shit. I am the only one to support her at this point, and I am 10,000+km away. 

Our current situation: 

We set up a plan for her to start a new life at my country after she dropped out of university due to her mental problems. Tickets are already bought and all she needs is some money to get a health insurance. Otherwise she wont get a visa. She works part-time and was on a good track to earn enough money until April when her flight is. She does not really like her job but it pays really well and she is flexible.

Tthings got really worse after Christmas. Meeting her parents kinda destroyed her a bit and she could not go to work in 3 weeks. She lives alone far away from her parents, but since she came back she can barely leave her room. Working is out of question 6 out of 7 days per week. Her texts are mostly stuff like: ""I am garbage, I can't do anything, I can't move"" and so on. I feel really helpless and I am also partly to blame for the current situation. 

I am also not very strong mentally and tend to vent my anger at random people. I am aware that this is devastating for her current situation so I try my absolute best to not let any anger come out when I talk to her. It is just really hard as this whole situation makes me really angry, mostly directed at myself. I know that she cannot do anything about it. I was in her situation, I lost 3 school years to a severe depression where I could not leave my room during daytime for weeks. I took me 3 years to pull myself out of it and get my life together. She has only 3 months left and she needs my support. 

Her life would get 100x better after she comes here. We have the mental health facilities to help her, my family would welcome her, she could find work fairly easily and she would be on my side. Her family always rejected her from a young age, telling her that she was unwanted at age 6, making her feel like human garbage. She has the lowest self-esteem you could imagine.  

But I truely love her and I will not abandon her. I want to help her so please help me. I am happy to receive any advice, anything I can tell her that will make her day better.",3.7956512237762254,5.054324407196972,4.9763636363636365,83.49800699300701,71.97348484848484,7.991142191142192,25.470279720279716,8.463088693708992,1.6058466783216785,2069,63,416,34,39,684,237,528,0.166,0.684,0.15,-0.9013,9,2,0,0,0,0,54.0,3,2,0,11,13,30,4,0,17,0,47,9,1,4,1,74,83,27,0,17,12,2,4,3,0,7,6,0,2,2,17,26,0,1,6,2,5,9,12,11,1,2,8,4,93,19,64,61,12,66,0,5,0,2,75,28,1,9,30,288,110,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128185001068188,0.0,0.0,0.05780432320026337,0.05978680194644675,0.06370215656964097,0.09232703881315303,0.0480327167468427,0.0,0.0,0.15702283553183302,0.0,0.04416028753982044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425109175219537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084710908775168,0.044387786615639004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060579951783567565,0.10210804031965336,0.06302192036322679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602324865921387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945180026730263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435828704810864,0.0,0.0,0.07445708254312468,0.0,0.04971938174807377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103295029201564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059646464153121186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632570112900461,0.0,0.058376073567269274,0.041239517803417516,0.0,0.0,0.052760584565232416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079745190234425,0.0,0.06561411471887706,0.09683578181266758,0.046168813639522605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145047770026527,0.103422444996259,0.0,0.0,0.18408034735964304,0.0,0.0,0.1934628482696183,0.0,0.0,0.05733501519971983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728421978160216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03172473983663484,0.0,0.0,0.12224715180417794,0.0627195467898316,0.05902882029996315,0.1223208967316522,0.08460612965513492,0.0,0.050973179701127566,0.051085757722093283,0.0,0.0,0.06301482734293723,0.0,0.10420006860520388,0.0,0.15413040685726306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23269721547572825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046076400414666915,0.061353679601580724,0.0,0.17121260556958198,0.0,0.05575220063609351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782333615196608,0.08780655890552329,0.0,0.0,0.1281959444160702,0.12502342253358942,0.0,0.08003998070821487,0.0,0.0,0.06336589290632247,0.05456979732757738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047211081369243,0.0,0.0,0.0646664125502427,0.0,0.05774169410033535,0.0,0.25886560190051344,0.0,0.0,0.06197619859846217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058421867324461835,0.0,0.0,0.060220883315929986,0.1304280619412948,0.05925498398335316,0.047751603783851626,0.3244326211797537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040858811304473185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660825422911623,0.0,0.26202745243018954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279606107069377,0.10091026367329456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413579068211978,0.039192214060052216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763005546273556,0.06809666650711108,0.0,0.13891312038276754,0.0,0.05190267189475595,0.0,0.0,0.06444909854688075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810107348336398,0.0,0.058827799661120075,0.1230208372105399,0.0,0.0,0.07434739626831613
mentalhealth,Aslion_Atreyu,2018/01/29,"Honest Opinion. Should I get therapy? So, I don’t like the whole, self diagnoses stuff. I’ve a bad history with some bad friends pretending or exasperating mental illnesses for pity. But, I just feel so... Uninterested. In anything. It’s so, so hard to just, care, care about school, care about friends. It’s more difficult than it has any right to be, and that coupled with a general lethargic feeling and disinterest building up, I think I can reasonably say I’m probably depressed. I mean, I know I have I few issues, confrontation gives me an anxiety like nothing else, my grudges could rival a god. Those I can deal with. But, the depressed thing is a bit of a new self admittance for me. So, should I get my mom to sign me up for some head decluttering? Would the effort be worth it, or would it just be some exercise in talking?",3.272869198312236,5.653965949367089,4.425594936708862,82.0942995780591,76.21518987341773,8.517130801687765,29.52067510548523,9.21078282632365,2.8230720675105485,652,30,126,17,15,213,99,158,0.171,0.647,0.182,0.2238,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,10,15,1,0,9,0,14,4,1,1,0,29,26,11,0,5,7,1,3,2,2,4,3,1,0,2,9,5,0,0,6,2,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,4,16,8,17,18,7,6,0,3,0,0,9,5,0,6,3,85,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247881272449368,0.0,0.10403304582859668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190933181211687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270942708387651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846738313109276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159568751737789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085780641037661,0.15047189324035226,0.0,0.0,0.14020115806668634,0.23425838046469766,0.13802840449408035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360336144705255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752267195364254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21013323064579906,0.0,0.14209978329915526,0.13045533885569266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218215795164304,0.0,0.13956640596685016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193968590484896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747373148408254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328770539345788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813449764933606,0.0,0.0,0.1370473417997116,0.0,0.0,0.15927147957139015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134133781601315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048741231248878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662172586779676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398218045754529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161359092662467,0.0,0.1081458165120619,0.0,0.13763055313617295,0.0,0.0,0.28373736960817764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567761293328342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930473296143754,0.0,0.0,0.1555180132632256,0.0,0.09034664088802777,0.0871377955598962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518295372667913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932087720799061,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,S4tterbrain,2018/01/29,"Has anyone ever overcome paranoid delusions? I've been struggling with paranoia for a really long time and I'm trying to figure out how to approach it; I really feel like talking about it would help but I feel like I'll say the wrong thing or use the wrong tone of voice and it'll just make them feel really uncomfortable and make things weird between us, I dunno I'm hoping I'm on the right track already (I've already talked about anxiety and stuff with people and thats helped, paranoia feels different because I feel paranoia towards everyone and if I tell them that it's basically saying that I dont trust them and I don't know if anyone would be able to respond well to that) and that it'll just take time but I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice? I hope this post is eligible I feel like those brackets in the middle might throw people off but hopefully you understood it haha  ",4.749895697522817,6.209912881355938,5.320000000000004,81.17131681877446,69.90395480225989,8.158018252933509,28.304650152107786,8.617729084823388,2.1244866579747934,728,26,135,12,13,234,105,177,0.156,0.695,0.149,0.3594,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,3,0,7,13,0,1,5,1,13,0,0,4,1,44,33,17,0,8,10,0,6,3,0,5,0,3,0,0,16,11,0,0,11,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,4,9,15,9,16,23,0,14,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,11,7,84,31,0,0.11268093410335968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101105046856799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486924255439706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662689918415977,0.0,0.08620060616779071,0.0,0.0,0.2363673872618537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868925156279015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177275932237233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320612155653305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192635600171246,0.0,0.10767146137110616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418491957954278,0.2414978455144661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510553098346626,0.0,0.0,0.33575277745182713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061926494522198026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515063800721294,0.0,0.0,0.099719080819265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504307969915712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953666426330375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562375437090383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079171869839125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655887524049575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622890204610524,0.0,0.17921680296104342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779857797859836,0.12899271087105826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847220391304517,0.18113733310871585,0.09848810301955012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972041138933848,0.0,0.0,0.08945607509558898,0.1314103176634747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765029576854075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135541289688861,0.09732014826201957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131369219508728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219766638825585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009060522617485,0.2463978249852877,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PikpikTurnip,2018/01/29,"What do I need for sorting my problems? Psychologist or therapist? I was told I should be seeing a therapist. I live in the US, if that makes a difference. I only chose a psychologist because I knew they couldn't prescribe medicines so I thought we could try to work through my problems normally so I could try to grow stronger through my struggles, but he just told me to ask my doctor for bupropion and get a job to stop being depressed and angry. I want to discover the root cause of my emotional and mental problems and work on fixing them. If I still can't overcome them, then I'll relent and take some prescriptions, but I'd like to try and fight this myself.",5.087829457364343,6.292494527131783,5.458914728682172,81.45410852713181,68.84496124031008,8.834108527131782,32.93798449612403,9.150863307647796,2.874324031007752,530,24,101,10,9,169,83,129,0.185,0.7509999999999999,0.064,-0.9521,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,2,0,3,2,4,7,1,1,6,0,9,1,0,3,0,31,20,14,0,12,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,5,1,22,1,13,9,1,6,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,5,4,70,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025069065831425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145226140459076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411432838713576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395613548470489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921407162584486,0.0,0.0,0.15674147534112307,0.0,0.15355428141573166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875500536356422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838051104430435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887408124654214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329336577190819,0.0,0.13247252603163615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014111565328633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118729160776567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123970724038916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699009733533927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140987939987489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4306535219504741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954842779470133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980808088879735,0.1254254423430078,0.0,0.15683598381531486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279817282920054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483751342641329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910102640137422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867056608448719,0.0,0.30556608167762844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045847310492333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848709732670815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21843618510302892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wildguts,2018/01/29,"My doctor acted more like a therapist, last visit I have symptoms of dysautonomia. It can seem like anxiety and my doctor thinks I have pots. I have problems with my blood pressure as well and my heart rate goes up to 120 or more sometimes. This is a classic symptom of pots and he referred me to a neurologist who will do a tilt table test on me or possibly a nuclear test. I  begged my doctor over and over to refer me, though and he finally did. Before doing that, he started bringing up my past trauma while I was hyperventilating after running to the visit (I was close to being late for the appointment) my heart rate was going up and I thought I was going to pass out. He randomly started bringing up all the trauma, and then said ""See, I think me talking about this is causing you to hyperventilate and feel how you're feeling"" 

I started breathing more shallowly and my face went numb and I had to lay down and then I puked. 

What I want to know is, are doctors allowed to just bring up past trauma like this? I've heard of this happening quite often with mostly women, and then later they go to a therapist and the therapist says ""This isn't anxiety related"" I'm suspected to also have Ehlers danlos syndrome which is often mistaken for anxiety as well, although people with ehlers danlos can definitely have anxiety and also depression, I just know the difference between anxiety and a 'pots attack' I've been living with it for over 20 years, I know the difference, but it seems like I keep running into doctors who ignore everything and call it anxiety then tell me ""You need a therapeutic outlook"" I've been going to therapy since I was 18 years old. I have managed to stop panic attacks before they happen but the pots thing? I can't stop those. They just come on and take over me, and my eyes start rolling in the back of my head, I puke, face goes numb, heart rate goes up, blood pressure drops, I get vertigo and if I don't lay down, I almost pass out. There's so much more to it as well. 

Sorry for this long post. 

TL;DR: Should I get a new doctor? Are doctors allowed to talk about your trauma without asking for your permission first? ",5.856094531974051,6.445840026506025,6.529457831325304,76.67885773864691,66.80722891566265,9.468952734012976,31.6241890639481,9.466822959209583,2.866733086190918,1701,65,311,32,26,559,197,415,0.15,0.804,0.046,-0.9895,2,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,4,3,2,17,21,2,3,17,0,31,22,10,4,1,68,67,38,0,5,9,0,2,4,0,2,12,3,0,1,18,28,0,4,13,0,0,16,4,14,3,1,13,7,47,7,55,51,7,62,0,1,2,0,24,19,0,10,29,221,65,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087544890662276,0.0,0.0,0.1132046871205576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248767597247175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616928145608919,0.16104380710568356,0.0,0.054425069409695326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045628903347368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227378693040197,0.0,0.0,0.07271004744146699,0.0,0.060970275217102986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096228284770262,0.0,0.0,0.1478990334950568,0.0,0.5071207487581753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361205406302227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157648754319113,0.0,0.0,0.0775354866604847,0.0,0.060205009714297174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395873876440304,0.0,0.16090249233434034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518016278959074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264019071343829,0.0,0.0,0.2516221581272338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291207503622946,0.0,0.0,0.11669569261683185,0.05769474235378624,0.07984236314467262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831716124495208,0.0,0.06249959853346933,0.0626376334992161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203107923501035,0.0524821051713368,0.0,0.06835928575662699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427118276967656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304449733015394,0.0,0.0,0.13513409035453414,0.049069595915157325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979325563877124,0.06778719931059338,0.0,0.0,0.06772642608803135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528271463728624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732751638969514,0.05628670224668947,0.0,0.0,0.056402100618900636,0.12887000380555402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058549536899970986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700027390153632,0.07923185962147454,0.20039238815842314,0.0,0.0,0.11834966882791573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713401072508894,0.05321737818640468,0.11377976803509805,0.06186440599219604,0.0,0.08094253100920977,0.2465413774779839,0.04702275722413928,0.09070529607709307,0.06954050304673051,0.05619101981366575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174758513316605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091782238757632,0.0656133090664351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822891582242946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115935960878904
mentalhealth,Darabellaaa,2018/01/29,"Cosmetic procedures to fix body dysmorphia? Hi, I have BDD. I would like to know if having procedures to fix my perceived flaws would fix my BDD or why it would not? I am an artist and am particularly good at realistic portraits of people, I kind of feel a link between being hyper focused on details in my art and how I see my own face, i cannot see my face as a finished piece or as a whole as long as I see the flaws. I have a vision of what I want to look like and I view myself as a work in progress. I truly feel like if I got nose tip surgery, and some facial fillers that I would be ""fixed"" and BDD couldn't control me so much anymore. When I perfect/finish a drawing I feel satisified, Should I not feel similarly satisfied if I correct these percieved flaws???",4.420000000000002,4.785424025477706,5.489687898089173,83.66765286624207,69.89171974522293,8.318216560509553,30.98662420382165,8.238735603445708,2.073543184713375,600,24,127,8,10,199,93,157,0.016,0.825,0.159,0.9579,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,8,0,14,5,5,2,1,30,25,18,0,10,7,0,4,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,10,24,5,17,16,5,7,0,0,5,0,1,4,0,6,6,87,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17479400844839002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577554975519615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768090922979814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.356471973237772,0.12591402083439354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783129505535322,0.14096432917128662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353868960623346,0.09686314888057984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583225638790383,0.0,0.0,0.15597692467750873,0.14800676885673028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956504378203024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219051452686296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4213485906997571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395763022983964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903945598032912,0.19677837107293555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128313103524662,0.0,0.0,0.5008156928000032,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Void-ofEmotion,2018/01/29,"Is there any way to self reverse my lack of emotion? When I was a little kid, I used to freak and stress out over the smallest things to the point it was unhealthy. I was also a perfectionist and would be irritated by the smallest flaws. (For example, I would be afraid of situations that were extremely unlikely to occur and once I had emotional breakdown over the imperfections in the plastic mold of a toy I had bought.) 

Then in middle school, I started to not care as much as possible and/or just consciously forget about things so I wouldn’t feel so stressed out. 

Now, I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t feel much passion or feeling unless I’m feeling self pity or sadness. Even my long time hobby feels like a form of escapism but not of enjoyment. I just feel completely dispassionate.

 My parents don’t believe in therapy or in mental illness as a whole so I cannot get external help. Is there any way I can reverse this lack of emotion on my own? (Ie self therapy..? Is that even a thing?)",4.224,5.834645451282049,5.152820512820514,81.27384615384621,71.41025641025641,8.482051282051282,30.948717948717945,9.029198982220553,2.665317948717948,793,35,152,16,15,259,112,195,0.17,0.782,0.048,-0.9702,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,3,11,0,20,2,0,1,0,28,32,18,0,5,9,1,6,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,7,1,1,0,6,6,0,0,8,6,16,4,28,19,7,21,0,2,0,1,6,12,0,3,8,113,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206055271664784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656961616033624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969959292333752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737140354376965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069998950331175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884798458642904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206991195765365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492454865084376,0.08224097407551202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014488041141078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716178043089478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056241285755453584,0.1153793931255306,0.0,0.20375322992270276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601278751977365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925129284506102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259788471328485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782592890106628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882458201175492,0.12977927688352903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650648533227773,0.0,0.0,0.3602823966466995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293984809176572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148175876510738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26373665059270723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632970182606183,0.0,0.22943967058739664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712676362718882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942577880798073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182752068760076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285261546473489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355434500160218,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MagicMoons,2018/01/29,"I really need help but I don't know how to get it, my mental state has been getting even worse. I'm 17 so I still live with my mom and everything but we're not close at all, she's incredibly bipolar so it can be hard to get close to her, that's not her fault though. The problem is I can't tell her I'm depressed because she would freak out and never let me go anywhere or do anything or treat me the same because she would think it would mean I could die at any moment. But I know I really need a therapist, however because she doesn't know how bad things really are she super slow to get one because she's so forgetful. I've also been trying to get sleep medication for my insomnia but again she forgets all the time to get me a prescription. I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried a ton of stuff to better my mental state and to make me happier in life but I'm still getting worse. Everything seems pointless. What do I do? Telling my mom is not an option. ",1.7837254901960795,3.493880901960786,3.580000000000002,89.58166666666668,78.21568627450979,7.082352941176473,23.588235294117645,7.984000788550335,1.1495411764705885,760,25,168,13,18,255,109,204,0.139,0.742,0.119,-0.6503,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,11,8,0,0,7,0,21,5,1,3,3,41,42,17,1,7,10,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,2,1,28,3,16,34,4,16,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,4,7,110,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870838982210617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543425568711043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000991095861627,0.0,0.0,0.09128358054117876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261952433669236,0.27048060775059424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810603655314844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856629111378768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955413788748938,0.0,0.11512485304520716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326632652137799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938831271881974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4056839480024319,0.0,0.0630424471653838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936892469442524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435212037993529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24385060971171815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343051113131138,0.07835111599048465,0.0,0.0,0.0979506925279124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740447240087705,0.0,0.0,0.12083216947271698,0.0,0.11174741843574508,0.22357692357830525,0.0,0.0,0.2598330398000557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450213017295734,0.08555384499102878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751670975262683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614228720542317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131882894927524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009838976171103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100724529967207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717310668168745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698503054698046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391041068907064,0.0,0.0,0.12879495350049835,0.07369505953241948,0.07107762909823144,0.10898534697817286,0.0,0.06468250449967394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062448650027546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260884547711485,0.23639836225224545,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nenadelmar,2018/01/29,"Is there something (actually) wrong with me? I don't mean to insult individuals with actual mental illnesses, because I know there's a huge disrespect that comes with an individual putting normal traits out of proportion (I.e, being a neat freak and calling yourself OCD)

However, ever since I was younger I've experienced these insane fits of anger. When I was younger I'm sure my parents just wrote them off as me being a kid. It was usually just characterized by these bouts of anger and nastiness when I got frustrated or aggravated (rarely physical, mostly just verbal and behavioral). I was otherwise a pretty sweet and empathetic kid so it wasn't like I was in general ""problematic"". I distinctly remember getting so frustrated because I felt like i couldn't control these fits of being generally just a horrible person, and no matter how hard I tried, and I kept getting in huge trouble over something I felt like I couldn't control.

I haven't grown out of it. When I get slightly irritated, stressed, or frustrated, it takes no time at all for me to spiral. I've gotten a little better at controlling it, but for someone my age (18F) I feel like this absolutely should not be happening. I just suddenly turn into a horrible person and all I want is to make people feel terrible and to tear them down and be angry.  When people are kind and patient with me, it just makes me angrier because all I want is a rise out of them I want them to match my level of insane anger. If I'm texting someone while this happening, I'll have this urge to say something horrible and nasty and if I don't respond or I say something else, i get this feeling like I'm going to lose my mind and my heart starts pounding and I feel myself physically just becoming so overcome with anger. 

Just tonight I freaked out at my boyfriend over the phone because the stress of other situations was boiling up and he was trying to be so sweet and patient and it just made me even angrier for some reason. It makes me sick to type this but in that moment I just wanted to tell him that I hated him. He hadn't done anything wrong and he's one of the most amazing people I know but I just got overcome with this urge to tell him that I hate him and to go off on him and to scream and just...my heart was pounding and racing and I felt stick to my stomach. I made him block my number because I was afraid of what I might say.

Ten minutes later and I feel horrible and I absolutely hate myself and I'm instead spiraling into this really dark place of self loathing.

This is not unusual. This cycle happens all the time with people I become very close with and as I grow older I feel like its seriously starting to impede my ability to maintain healthy relationships with people I love and with myself.

Is there something fundamentally wrong with me?? Am I just having really strange panic attacks? I'm so tired of being someone I hate.",5.102473118279568,6.493324256272405,6.070213261648745,76.38865322580648,68.9820788530466,9.164229390681003,31.51272401433692,9.516144504307137,3.0137661648745517,2317,98,419,50,40,767,244,558,0.275,0.645,0.081,-0.9991,2,0,5,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,4,5,28,41,13,4,13,0,35,8,3,10,7,118,85,49,0,10,22,1,10,6,0,2,3,4,0,5,27,47,1,5,14,0,0,7,11,27,0,2,22,17,73,14,64,52,7,51,0,1,0,1,31,27,0,9,23,290,100,1,0.0,0.0,0.13305687069834052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056101768934186336,0.0,0.0,0.07755828635630768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20779257982705898,0.15058666221934264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060294766716241024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961374254055444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058726257774169024,0.0,0.0,0.2293903501753591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976613875830212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695101052653525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502858560970639,0.06166769904780939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682632199363554,0.14611153623141646,0.19637450852929167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247335908736064,0.0,0.07749022952320624,0.0,0.10905068158182324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085934044131866,0.0,0.0610709222775325,0.2692326467288646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615741186149624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099320557143955,0.07493379685263278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983957519312104,0.06832871557649957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626977857463306,0.0,0.0,0.06153010878182336,0.12901663843150474,0.1365209374733626,0.0,0.0,0.07426196925433698,0.0,0.0,0.06870381744035578,0.07232232492295318,0.0688367668038818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679649265142702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619677615482914,0.0,0.0,0.07998803580222116,0.07569966614125098,0.0,0.0,0.2363179211777193,0.11905461176767705,0.07122779694411441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935793151255154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853415878516053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873486051977804,0.07009469581520356,0.0,0.07319385280053109,0.07722836950148489,0.0,0.0,0.1626451926103367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112082652086875,0.0,0.0,0.05639461498742589,0.07663094560598163,0.0,0.0,0.17329198750510394,0.2624201369315361,0.0,0.0,0.09650846253414752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561872193749664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642536185254132,0.0,0.05125870694058412,0.0,0.11917495994259272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795061477652751,0.07835650898358862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257196187278084,0.07415423198292409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508453232024732,0.05625106649421222,0.16084424334641326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22361419823012574,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GarbageAcc901234,2018/01/29,"Suicide--Reasons Why I am sure we have all struggled at one point or another and maybe even thought about taking our own life.  What was one reason why you considered it? 
Mine: I was doing really bad in school, studied really hard for a class I wanted to do well in.  Ended up not doing as great as I wanted to.",2.0448924731182783,4.191460693548386,3.8561290322580684,85.82086021505377,79.16129032258064,6.713978494623658,21.623655913978496,7.793537801064563,1.0866043010752686,241,7,47,4,6,81,50,62,0.17,0.762,0.067,-0.777,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,2,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,7,1,0,1,2,10,11,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,2,3,1,8,3,10,8,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,37,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21055314909470504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765709717841576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784653112785895,0.0,0.0,0.13262451641239864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22137938747777666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987466015745782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182885046894994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201727562786986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721304706504191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18981805640960014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257271383650922,0.4129054914645885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032172712824915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991660892454067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892487842843268,0.0,0.15097434502704912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941037874987538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368705312713388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805406064161597,0.0,0.3623760982996329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZenDoesntAfraid,2018/01/29,"The Haven: 18+ Mental Health Peer Support Discord Chat Hi guys, we run a mental health chatroom on Discord for people 18+. All diagnoses are welcome. This is a first person group, so you need to be the person with a disorder to participate. To join visit our site www.thehavensupport.com. We believe we are stronger together, which is why peer support is so helpful and important. Care when you need it; care for others when you can.

",4.136107594936711,6.955274556962028,4.84099683544304,77.94352056962029,75.58227848101266,7.494303797468352,28.8623417721519,8.472884824447931,2.5525556962025315,346,15,58,7,8,111,54,79,0.085,0.654,0.261,0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,4,3,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,7,3,0,0,1,8,13,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,5,7,12,1,7,0,0,0,0,16,2,0,0,3,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205013450080406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710530748621659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469173235007946,0.0,0.0,0.20854888289062332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547802475721952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801750195800409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868428500539503,0.0,0.0,0.12196802213430895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667580026551379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698510728618134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261523624040211,0.31777150997979536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129858833834407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641960766353762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gypsycrystalball,2018/01/29,"How to speak to people with schizophrenia? For those of you with schizophrenia or people with family members with schizophrenia is there a certain way to speak to people with the illness? Are there things I shouldnt be asking? ex- ""have the voices calmed down? Are you taking your medication? Are you having any poor side effects?""
Are there topics that I should avoid or am I just really over thinking this? Thanks.",3.93975975975976,7.139529972972972,3.084234234234234,87.59484984984988,80.35135135135134,4.910510510510512,20.384384384384386,6.42735559955562,0.431242042042042,334,9,55,3,9,97,50,74,0.1,0.787,0.113,0.2582,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,0,1,5,4,0,1,3,0,11,2,0,2,1,15,15,3,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,7,3,13,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,0,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20625140729421346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835404425156129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859200974616037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055384069734516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6308009381549207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429892659955747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280405443197589,0.0,0.0,0.27923383786722994,0.0,0.0,0.2014961187161227,0.19433957285206327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24074192868362704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IncidentalYogurt,2018/01/29,"Anxiety is taking over, and my mind tends to spiral out of control A little bit of personal context: I'm 30, originally from France, currently living in the U.S. with my wife, and working for an international non-profit.

I've always been relatively shy, but I never really felt (or wanted to acknowledge) that I had any specific psychological issues. My father passed away when I was young, and it's always been a topic that has been avoided in my family. To this day, I don't really talk about it with anyone, and just thinking about it (and typing this) is bring tears to my eyes. I didn't have trouble make friends when I was a kid, but it's become a real struggle now, which makes me feel bad about myself. I've also often tended to let myself be ""influenced"" for some decisions in my life: I changed topics of studies when I was younger after a friend convinced me to do it (it was most likely a very good idea though), I changed career plans to follow my wife (although we never discussed it and I never acknowledged that to her; and it was also a good thing to go away from what I was going for, but maybe not such a good one to go for what I do now).

I was promoted at work over a year ago and started assuming new responsibilities, which have made me become more stressed about it. This led me to start reading about mental and psychological issues, and I think I might have anxiety disorder. I haven't gone to a therapist yet, but it is in my plans, and hopefully I will soon manage to summon the courage (although I'm a little afraid it will be very expensive...). I might have other issues as well (maybe some type of OCD).

Apart from the anxiety that originates from work, I have some tendency to overthink, to obsess over things, and to make myself even more miserable that way.

For instance, I've wanted to visit Japan for a while, and every time I see something about someone visiting there or living there, it makes me wish it was me, and I start imagining how much better life would be there, all the stuff I would be doing there and, it makes me think that my life is boring and worthless. Or when a friend is telling me about something they've done recently that sounds interesting, I'm thinking why I'm not doing the same thing, how their life is better than mine, etc.

I always dig really deep into these fantasies and it makes me feel terrible about myself. My mind starts spiraling out of control, and it takes me a lot of effort to manage to stop myself from going deeper and deeper. Sometimes I almost want to ""give up"" (whatever I mean by that, stop caring about anything, stop interacting with people when I don't have to,...) so that I wouldn't have these thoughts anymore.

Is therapy the only option at this point? Is there anything else I can do to make me feel less anxious and prevent me from going crazy when this type of thoughts appear?",11.007740903984098,7.188543332123415,10.361913404200155,67.50569267997582,59.41742286751361,13.253858784893268,39.305245873303946,10.813802987103665,4.054677400397544,2260,72,419,38,21,734,251,551,0.103,0.78,0.117,0.9406,1,1,2,0,0,0,80.0,1,0,1,11,35,26,0,6,21,0,51,5,1,16,4,102,99,43,0,8,10,3,4,1,3,7,4,1,0,2,41,27,0,7,17,2,2,13,10,11,1,1,19,7,59,15,72,68,13,66,0,2,2,0,18,20,0,16,33,318,100,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974056280573635,0.0,0.06748518439543456,0.0,0.0,0.10778964087865467,0.16823119278349696,0.0,0.0,0.04583011452900925,0.0,0.1546682834044469,0.07613584350735324,0.06683656877946749,0.04712333199119703,0.0,0.11091875733944864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266374410108102,0.0,0.056271031898022406,0.0,0.14886237780540526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920872951587258,0.07357660605993176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871249989312066,0.0,0.14258746926187066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117581893576365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043463444140333485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723916638424562,0.0,0.0,0.06896728536777864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056298896067248985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516193372201413,0.0445129882307342,0.0,0.05678220732715403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353290377368698,0.0,0.10222903420182257,0.0,0.06470864428762864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620491456034336,0.0,0.0,0.0646503014532493,0.1915073296250634,0.16958023803159494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693727837039196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607942936432513,0.0,0.2110249429978214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891475588749449,0.19040901704996452,0.03292522049478132,0.13509264264442186,0.11901997085700824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057295823109803,0.0,0.06376967020292676,0.314901327715954,0.0,0.1354123184921538,0.07341163660039292,0.0,0.0,0.06791712810250558,0.14298840412259356,0.1360971102731008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049542218506358315,0.0,0.15593482610603646,0.0650893796877963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566780247333602,0.051256043586380286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672239512594358,0.0588456916941988,0.0,0.0,0.06370895170443364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741206639797061,0.07670893141416829,0.12952263709239345,0.0,0.06654327536035394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053704155942223504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057102572331537274,0.1037661237507148,0.06665421981116837,0.0,0.1908067952293282,0.0,0.0,0.16903277539405182,0.07719940304243451,0.07045466249572066,0.0771498099958356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134354378997124,0.054168606652739454,0.05890517676152965,0.0,0.0770707165154799,0.07824942946570176,0.1343203954686882,0.17273297667489282,0.06621409449191322,0.1070063440018201,0.03929788346476315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121393341226213,0.1192518787918063,0.05349408427437551,0.0,0.0,0.06059514564850721,0.0,0.06081244793591931,0.0,0.07749957698456754,0.0,0.0,0.14719052978692634,0.0,0.0,0.09574928452867226,0.0,0.0,0.04339941607053447
mentalhealth,FlyOnTheWall221,2018/01/30,"Should I go back to therapy? A few months ago I was in a car accident involving a semi truck while I was an innocent bystander. I started going to therapy after the accident due to a lot of issues it brought out. I stopped going this month feeling more like myself and kicking depressions ass. Today on my drive him I saw an accident that involved a semi truck and I started crying uncontrollably suddenly. Now I feel maybe I’m not as okay as I think I am. Is it advisable to go back to therapy or is this a normal reaction?

Thanks everyone ",2.9321698113207546,5.2046986320754725,5.353433962264152,75.5609056603774,76.83018867924528,9.52301886792453,31.35471698113208,9.888512548439397,3.8003388679245287,429,22,76,14,10,151,70,106,0.23,0.684,0.086,-0.9426,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,9,1,6,1,1,0,0,12,19,6,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,7,1,2,0,0,4,3,13,3,12,14,3,24,0,1,1,1,4,3,1,2,15,56,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792188563739453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566284070346061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833009647415473,0.0,0.0,0.14372653729323556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945326750062772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687509099994761,0.1192133305993406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793486231944417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17417092630048073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152518945046469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418685361419939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676452693877825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663911436426195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349904805707208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23622560298377615,0.0,0.0,0.13951239435153906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536332409048265,0.5724977391726307,0.0,0.0,0.10692478619843536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817506516577598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crikey-Way,2018/01/30,"What are you legally prevented from doing if you've been in a mental institution? (US) I've been looking up what you can and cannot do if you've been in a mental institution, and can't find any answers.

This stemmed from a conversation I had with my mom where she was telling me that I cannot go into the Criminal Justice field OR Social Work , since I've been (twice) in a mental hospital. I thought that there was a difference between having been Admitted and Committed?

For reference, I live in California and South Carolina (and am planning on possibly living in North Carolina after I graduate). I'm also 20 years old. What jobs can I not legally take because I've been in a MH?

PS: Can you adopt a child or be a foster parent if you have an MI? I've wanted to be a foster parent or adopt a child when I grew up since I was in high school. ",4.631850079744818,5.127622807017545,6.206060606060608,78.25636363636364,69.46783625730994,9.72695374800638,30.750132908027645,9.800150414767053,2.8502818713450297,664,26,133,15,11,228,97,171,0.022,0.878,0.099,0.7757,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,12,0,24,0,0,0,1,22,31,13,0,4,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,7,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,11,1,16,0,18,18,0,21,0,0,1,0,15,15,0,6,4,93,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315339393243682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185148135847067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002649803463657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718457335353455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503309890175493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347730735435866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378128222587697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322020473862767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904762553707319,0.0,0.13812108448807195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4972689769127547,0.0,0.0,0.1926360255217358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259322906960528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36526932502575293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542555988881806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646170938988925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721177516570202,0.0,0.0,0.1676658087502971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236678722660654,0.0,0.14376205139721449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305780949312459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197848199501079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701408076852623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974280061482916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591919805282754
mentalhealth,Allison-Cloud,2018/01/30,"I'm stronger because of it...? People say that someone who has had a hard life comes out stronger because of it. But I don't feel stronger, I feel broken. I have always been an awkward person. I have never made friends right off the bat with anyone. Every friend I have had needed time to warm up to me. And when you add that with the fact that I have a speech impediment, learning disabilities, and don't know how to stand up for myself I was relentlessly bullied all my life. And I'm not stronger because of that. What I am is neuroticlly insecure because of it. I have had very few friends in my life. And I didn't even meet most of them until I was 18+. And so at school I was bullied to the point of crying every single day. And after school I felt pure loneliness. But I am not stronger because of it. I live in constant fear of losing the friends I have because of it. I as abused and I am not stronger because of it. I have PTSD because of it. How is it that all of this has made me a stronger person when I don't even feel like I am a real person unless I am high?",2.307534722222222,3.68734262053572,3.5919047619047646,91.4753174603175,75.91964285714286,6.04920634920635,25.83730158730159,6.42735559955562,0.7603986111111108,833,30,185,6,18,272,105,224,0.182,0.718,0.1,-0.958,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,1,1,1,7,10,0,3,9,0,27,3,0,4,5,36,38,17,0,1,6,0,6,1,4,0,3,2,0,3,16,12,0,0,6,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,11,8,29,6,30,27,5,20,0,1,0,0,12,10,0,1,9,136,45,3,0.0,0.13178140471058794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925466825763382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776990655962099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5424054549221415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580901117349808,0.0,0.12019285769786295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122173555328393,0.07172981719935419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692386081868705,0.0,0.1874208283449364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251571169231881,0.16871350351543946,0.0794579366365947,0.10679179521492063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437233346680104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963421639029743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175135066065174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112540839512156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23568088521708225,0.05433807867857047,0.0,0.0982121978769186,0.0,0.0,0.12443040548841855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104843220316384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247065611668444,0.0857822536680458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710822112207823,0.2913476457065269,0.0,0.0,0.10514195435057036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001406757121298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659644758317742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498407720905104,0.0,0.08844921997268079,0.0,0.2251278035881371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423912798371806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485519159842991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177085791827336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lalasalala,2018/01/30,"My mind is a jumble, and it seems everything is wrong with it. It's taken so much from me, and I need advice on what to do. I have ADHD, and PTSD with psychosis, severe dissociative symptoms (I have separate dissociated identities), disordered attachment and non-epileptic seizures.

I have things I want to do with my life, but I can't focus. I have constant brain fog, my cognitive abilities are steadily declining, I am regularly brought down to a point where I can barely even move by my brain. I have no idea what to do anymore; all I do is get worse. No one in my mental health team have ever provided useful advice, and I'm currently unmedicated as my last script was causing too severe side effects.

I never accomplish anything. I'm a dropout. I don't work. I live on welfare. My apartment is a total mess 60-70% of the time. I can't imagine being alive even a year from now. I have no passion or ambition. The things I enjoy and want to work with and am good at are slipping away between my fingers, and I seemingly can't do anything to stop it.

I'm too stubborn to stop doing things, though. I keep going, keep trying. After every massive crash and psychotic episode I've had, I've crawled back to a semi-ok state where I can at least do some of the culture work I enjoy. I'm losing that stubbornness more and more with every time it all comes crashing down. What's the point when it'll all go to hell again eventually?

I won't go listing causes for my PTSD or any of my terrible coping mechanisms, because I'm not here for that. I want to know what I can do. I have never found useful advice anywhere. As mentioned, mental health professionals don't actually help me. They haven't even been able to fucking prevent me from getting worse. I'm still a minor, and child psychiatry in my area is bullshit. So I have two options. Either, I drop everything in my hands and give up, which I've felt like doing for years. Or, I figure something out on my own. Keywords here are ""on my own"". It seems I have to be alone in trying to get my shit together, but I see great value in seeking words of advice from others.",3.6306539074960114,5.242095813397132,4.989234449760769,81.85297448165872,72.92344497607654,7.650398724082935,28.216905901116423,8.296473431620573,2.0140867623604466,1662,65,319,27,33,554,212,418,0.18,0.718,0.103,-0.9887,1,1,1,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,1,8,18,15,5,0,11,0,45,11,5,5,7,62,77,23,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,18,19,0,7,10,1,0,6,13,9,0,2,7,4,49,6,50,66,12,49,1,1,1,2,7,23,3,8,19,227,67,7,0.08486743652348837,0.0,0.0828183757720273,0.0,0.10199416645885448,0.3317259070078151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789706955864302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771276706437532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416569247082993,0.0,0.0,0.13967733816919956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079735750278993,0.06525782013233945,0.0,0.05173440159365174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18948025301323496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436447024186474,0.0,0.07310578188859704,0.0,0.09171154917271168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726543482580433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816242425972258,0.07676745508793129,0.14300895114712464,0.0,0.15254675932682832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148604805383115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305276369038208,0.0,0.07845857753031192,0.13301919842776494,0.08141257831793776,0.14469635984142182,0.07118277924764865,0.0,0.09356664837551633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180420232888443,0.0,0.0,0.056884853772910214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580500573514082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086815401048062,0.0,0.0,0.04664092363810191,0.06917828787250649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059944380244814285,0.04146194266557485,0.0,0.07493950129375497,0.0,0.0,0.09494495322024822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105282996315385,0.0,0.08569191790208547,0.0,0.0,0.09020065412512572,0.06238733081716461,0.0629281288307831,0.13090999791683774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575083713748363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045431818880515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198410983474163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762835908517281,0.23178038043894406,0.0,0.19175209343229188,0.08711520401352747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533509888358999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677752444353947,0.1419059540917782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882097617089774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16914646134633518,0.0,0.08338182548881656,0.0,0.09897376944538357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523883710921162,0.0,0.08290315376261237,0.0,0.0,0.14659643303111672,0.0,0.0,0.15017103870304074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853535136661706,0.0,0.17297433649075444,0.0,0.09278921912505256,0.0,0.10930369326584397
mentalhealth,DonJohn90505,2018/01/30,"Disorder Similar to Kleptomania? I've recently met a friend, that everytime she comes to my home, she has to ask for something to take with her.  It's usually a juice box or cookies/snack for her kids... I recently found out she has been doing the same thing to a couple other friends.

I know for a fact that it's not a financial thing, this family has plenty of money to provide for their kids.

Is this some type of disorder or just general weirdness?",3.12409090909091,5.2961132272727305,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,75.81818181818181,9.4,28.04545454545455,9.827888789773867,3.0669272727272734,356,15,68,11,8,120,59,88,0.08900000000000001,0.838,0.073,0.0926,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,6,0,0,0,1,13,12,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,9,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,9,2,14,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,3,3,50,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968995181817986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18400005338616304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634763434079645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4896150410606001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136587916488505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23420464215609385,0.3300582646367937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21426120484886504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173906114904614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4218143465685038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444200953749633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060285758105453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838166568478652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525350463378955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway78410,2018/01/30,"Need help finding resources I don't know how to quite start, but I'll give this my best shot.

Almost a year ago my mental handicapped daughter (minor teen, lower IQ) had a psychotic break and attempted to kill my significant other in their sleep. She has auditory hallucinations (voices), has created 6 or 7 personas, and delusions that she has been sent from ""God"" to kill us. She has since been diagnosed as schizophrenic and autistic. There is more, but there's no real reason for me to post all of the things that she did that came up in therapy (from her and her sibling). After we took her to the ER she was admitted to an acute services mental health facility for about a month. She was then transferred to a medium-term care facility for about half a year. We released her into a family member's care since then because she is a danger to us (significant other, siblings, and me) and we've been told that we're ""triggers"" for her and if she were to move in with us it could cause another psychotic break.

She's been doing better, she's on medication and the professionals are working with her in every way. But now her living with our relative is not an option anymore and we have no other family members to turn to. What I'm asking is if someone can help us? We don't know who to contact. I've Googled so many things that it's overwhelming. We're completely drained by this constant situation for the last year that and we're just reaching out, hoping someone can give us a clue as to what to do next.",6.968127133105803,6.604606126279865,7.459724829351536,74.19661796075086,64.52901023890784,10.601450511945394,33.670861774744026,10.125756701596842,3.252720307167234,1197,45,225,24,16,395,163,293,0.097,0.789,0.114,0.3115,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,10,0,1,5,8,9,3,1,14,0,26,5,1,4,1,43,43,22,2,5,8,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,18,20,0,0,5,0,0,4,5,4,1,1,13,1,34,5,39,29,3,29,0,1,0,0,39,8,0,6,13,162,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549694190615961,0.0,0.09658055797942564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113604106467422,0.0,0.0,0.09565230004154694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901675576340455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058794912255024964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121813078501712,0.08530202381309845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031289429736264,0.19667402969377584,0.09908052874358876,0.0,0.0,0.10112579641582073,0.10422798602629736,0.0,0.07700732940661921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789453238167513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126312932370038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184860429694416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815338394287439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850469030744858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252164357699696,0.0,0.0,0.12929655637994605,0.0,0.0,0.09579642928372804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341486102944626,0.0,0.10601259233013023,0.07861947253906139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516695404363807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778497442180713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716304198360046,0.1943974573756628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698532246999291,0.102510889877257,0.0,0.07151631601036636,0.0,0.0,0.10257547288069843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237226196486052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258625092384528,0.0,0.10978100548076836,0.0,0.09916647392865396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595685679729861,0.1084136336021506,0.09651947030649058,0.0,0.16344323119945348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826767576692437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029876959842383,0.0,0.12815394330473362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092161931883879,0.10715929376200277,0.0,0.1049097028970771,0.0,0.0,0.5800862618880597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655737409776009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702166143253527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633155666491885
mentalhealth,Harry-Osborn,2018/01/30,"Diagnosis? Age: 19 Occupation: College student
Already diagnosed condition(s): Mood disorder (anxiety + depression)

Need speculation of symptoms and what they could be a result from; New diagnosis!!!

Symptoms since high school 
-Morning and Night 
-In class and out of class
-Home or on campus
-Caffeine (from coffee) provides temporary alleviation.
-Strength training at 6am only provides some alleviation

* Chronic brain fog
* Head: varies from a slight yet noticeable uncomfortable pressure to a minor headache (often comes with brain fog)
* Can’t remember anything I’ve just read or heard.
* Rampant thoughts (persistent all day)
* Difficultly speaking
* Difficulty thinking 
* Difficulty concentrating on nearly all uninteresting topics
* Forgetfulness
* Trouble following conversations
* Fidgeting leg(s)/ body 
* Daydreaming 
* Horrible procrastination. 
* Sometimes easily distracted. NOTE: Senses sometimes feel as if they’re dialed higher (specifically hearing).

I’ve also begun to notice repetition when I speak. Ex: Sister’s dog ",7.913011623080116,11.381212787671235,7.634084682440848,48.210147364051494,99.2054794520548,10.536820257368204,42.09547530095475,8.754623652393294,7.222404566210048,841,55,79,32,33,266,122,146,0.159,0.805,0.036000000000000004,-0.9507,0,0,0,1,0,0,51.0,0,0,1,2,5,7,0,2,3,0,3,8,4,1,2,22,11,9,0,3,4,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,2,5,2,1,15,7,3,17,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,5,8,38,3,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380066333636215,0.1259494297658947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204839471824578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960572206537224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494246143355344,0.0,0.3516350659426441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566878883885491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125747676004846,0.0,0.0,0.1015718386389181,0.0,0.1356510045157132,0.15985504283075,0.0,0.0,0.18050396832921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963466902311231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163625077997262,0.0,0.17750934751064104,0.0,0.0,0.16640308587093522,0.1579812484944925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678122854054887,0.0,0.1521105402832301,0.0,0.14779925120086226,0.0,0.0,0.3586202960076105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978274366880914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753853993675165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784121745771204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939427864172911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302822519663925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31153498270425034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273971285351265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091702568366454,0.0,0.12503416746266666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Summerspeaker,2018/01/30,"Why Do People Think Self-Love Helps? I got over hating myself in any simplistic sense probably a decade ago. I love myself passionately and profoundly.

That transition didn't make me any less sad, angry, or hopeless. If anything, it made more upset about my lack of access to nice things and eternally unfulfilled desires. Back when I hated myself, at least I could say I deserved to suffer. Now I hate this nightmarish world where I can't thrive.

Arguably I overestimate how bad things are for me, because mental illness or whatever. Regardless, abiding self-love hasn't improved that dynamic.

Why do so many folks assume self-love helps people feel better?",5.8898275862068985,8.513404879310349,5.718482758620691,74.72479310344829,69.17241379310343,8.777931034482759,29.703448275862065,9.3871,3.1308993103448275,530,21,81,12,10,165,89,116,0.299,0.5589999999999999,0.141,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,1,7,13,3,1,1,0,7,3,0,3,0,15,16,8,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,3,2,14,5,8,12,4,10,0,3,0,2,4,5,0,4,5,51,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843591882769118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21240288731235407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285151944202798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008564240524168,0.13039602639024778,0.0952002202529242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812030911455456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246896107064617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896460749578492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490398976182746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4625587561138686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093558808613324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095017043176378,0.14777250955247667,0.10424516704283322,0.1583325962288001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738335213851648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165382244597592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837844799013132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419322329724344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887603557589856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750577151934932,0.10006789028582284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818395646370361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,urbanwolf,2018/01/30,"How to talk to your doctor about symptoms? I'm seeing a psychiatrist for depression/anxiety but I feel like she doesn't really understand the extent of my symptoms and how badly they affect my life... I'm not sure how to cOmmunicate this withvher though? I have trouble talking about how I feel or etc...
I wrote down a list of all the things I could think of that I'm struggling with or that might be related to psyciatric issues and I considered just givivng the list to my psychiatrist because I have trouble talking about this stuff. But when I looked over the list, it seems really overly long and weird/random so I'm not sure if I should.",5.020582437275987,6.4720810403225855,5.6752688172043015,78.91345878136202,69.24193548387098,9.059498207885305,29.10035842293907,9.444778638647367,2.627273476702509,515,19,95,11,9,167,75,124,0.165,0.809,0.027000000000000003,-0.9513,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,11,7,0,1,6,0,7,4,0,5,3,29,19,15,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,4,15,3,16,14,3,5,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,5,3,71,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387041768721075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611321166952387,0.10667510596658128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397189775370819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911442527568971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951652770704091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696509209417746,0.1250162030440691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264893512567404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360388673175016,0.08549353991123095,0.0,0.0,0.1548647462487081,0.1469514208558688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856416548013062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242120898460712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394480683940504,0.1593085444285418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18294238913190933,0.20032699131258047,0.0,0.0,0.32986074722395703,0.36377286245625423,0.0,0.42196217961873145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625866046682735,0.11212949688280252,0.1719313415388564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217558776829906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gablevert,2018/01/30,"#BellLetsTalk: a powerful initiative or just another PR stunt? Tomorrow (January 31) will be the eight #BellLetsTalk day. Once a year, the Canadian cellphone provider donates 10 cents for every social media interaction with the hashtag, as well as for every text or phone call from those with Bell. The money is distributed to community-based organizations whose work relates to mental health. Since 2011, they've donated almost $73M. 

Some people oppose Bell's project and say that it's a corporate PR stunt and fosters one-day activism. Others emphasize the donations and that it aims to end the stigma around mental health. 

I'm not posting this to stir the pot, I truly want to hear what the Reddit community thinks. This podcast also digs into the topic and how certain hashtags play a role in social movements: https://soundcloud.com/lostandfounders/ep-14-lfp-hyperloop-hashtags-for-social-change-millennial-mottos ",10.883916083916084,13.544184559440565,9.131055944055946,55.06735314685318,56.55244755244754,10.754965034965037,35.978321678321684,10.793553405168565,4.5680579020979035,764,31,96,18,10,232,106,143,0.0,0.902,0.098,0.8909999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,13,0,3,2,0,1,1,19,7,10,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,10,8,0,1,1,1,5,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,3,15,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,4,4,55,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715217053368475,0.0,0.0,0.13349057719350627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750363544880889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859943608300893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045000129765522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530678450417892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478467959316582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28128453044782925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548688392176496,0.18813761444162286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364440797028075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777062933188145,0.11311330591012067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572539703043708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986886395729633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327461708935748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808282455418394,0.0,0.0,0.5104797826475506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695937275940057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845721723388526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500864257790774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152403897386475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749480291225337
mentalhealth,chadrod,2018/01/30,"I feel like im losing my mind. I don't know what is going on with me right now.
Let me start by saying that I am going through some pretty severe personal issues (marriage and legal) right now, so my stress level has been the highest they have ever been in my life for the last several months. However, the stress I can deal with.

What I am having problems with however is everything else that is going on.
I am losing weight and not sleeping well.
But the problems are what I am feeling. I have this constant feeling that someone is following me and I cant seem to even drive down the road without having to constantly look around and see who is watching me.
When I drive I see people, kind of shadowy, walking on or beside the road, and when I get there they are gone.
I see movement outside windows where I know there cant be any.
I have started hearing music when I know there isn't any playing.
I hear people talking about me. It is like I keep hearing my name in their conversations, but I cant make out what exactly they are talking about.

I know that these things are not real, but they are there none the less.

I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this as it is making me feel absolutely crazy.

I don't even know how to bring this up to a therapist or my family as I know it will sound like I am just making this up as an excuse for my current situation or that I am lying again. No one trusts me (with good reason) and I don't know who to even begin to talk to about this kind of stuff.",5.1246917562724015,4.8815604870967775,5.857634408602152,83.74089605734768,68.3225806451613,8.5663082437276,28.835125448028673,7.984000788550335,1.6956523297491042,1181,36,249,13,18,387,148,310,0.09,0.841,0.069,-0.615,3,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,5,2,25,15,0,2,9,0,39,3,1,6,2,52,73,21,0,2,11,0,5,3,0,1,1,5,1,1,22,13,1,1,14,1,0,10,13,6,1,1,3,15,45,9,35,67,4,41,0,2,5,0,21,16,0,5,18,191,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957460595657028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826572271911647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001640212054374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127934103590249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344426674703243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420716975092046,0.07952692843672654,0.0,0.0,0.07901509303873254,0.0,0.08288133263562616,0.0,0.17781607294138754,0.06280868734131245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593356330473896,0.0,0.1498975971130331,0.07374150653647267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29727016642308257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949666032730316,0.09176362407589823,0.0,0.07814562091207558,0.0,0.1831062830671399,0.3865397796127581,0.07166496196481308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990218401728405,0.062099133447276765,0.12885698542836846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382903673409683,0.1967156652913998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760579848478164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877218887612133,0.0,0.0701753653195748,0.0,0.0646298980156636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059575560106828386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190264074063308,0.0767666682582885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089444285113375,0.0,0.1682514403079909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007001227754772,0.0,0.09039441950911947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501631041619266,0.0,0.06991597866749187,0.0,0.0,0.21017795889284246,0.08003730967804784,0.0,0.1986447902241293,0.0,0.0,0.09882359519399113,0.0879815641721823,0.0,0.07449269607790493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445772603809015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141970609823648,0.0,0.10064515684372802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199564507801574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207965647527698,0.058408859637232274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070605249595857,0.07904890417865895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474988288068777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peacepearl,2018/01/30,"After ecstasy use - any drug/psychology specialists on this subreddit? A big 'thank you' for anyone taking time to read this:
I used ecstasy 5 times with a standard dosage of 50-100mg or less, on each occasion. After a severe comedown, I stopped using it completely. This was over the span of a year, with at least a month's spacing between each trial. Is this enough to cause noticeable and irreversible brain damage? ",6.74526315789474,7.938329315789478,6.951157894736844,72.29910526315794,65.05263157894737,10.81684210526316,33.62105263157895,10.793553405168565,3.98065052631579,332,14,55,9,5,107,61,76,0.15,0.718,0.132,0.3313,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,0,2,1,1,4,0,12,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,14,6,5,14,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,7,37,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640514452798184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053635151717382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403357631133667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116298320812036,0.0,0.0,0.2257283353069223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496690082062385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245297444397394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184308356655295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451100326922145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534908706539846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432173536332384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799927708804341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187190811139074,0.0,0.0,0.19821086763174686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25107562428894564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5578264495947773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864023355679742
mentalhealth,HercUlysses,2018/01/30,"I think I have ADHD Im 19 male. Im worried about myself. I noticed this about myself. I thought it was just normal that im a very excited person, then i read about ADHD. It kinda had me worried. I have troubles focusing in a certain things like studying. Its comes to a point where I would fold my clothes just so I can stop studying for a minute. Im literally making this post while studying. My friends also notice that I do these weird things with my fingers, I dont really notice doing them. Its been going on ever since I was a child. I just thought i was just a bit more active than others. Please tell me if im correct or not. If not, can you maybe point out my actual problem so I can deal with it properly. Thanks, leave any questions and I will try to answer them all",1.4385624999999995,3.547152731250001,3.207500000000003,89.87750000000004,81.0625,5.5,22.5,6.6274283507984215,0.5891874999999995,607,20,125,6,16,202,97,160,0.101,0.777,0.121,0.6258,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,2,0,12,8,0,0,6,0,15,1,1,1,4,29,22,9,0,5,9,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,13,5,0,1,5,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,7,1,26,5,12,13,3,13,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,5,5,91,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.10772973804284906,0.0,0.2653470255141702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828295856665923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507248505678978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205229076062478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509564343492354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381254834295948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293822892178209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985873001909724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529101614111406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274010566760889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5962285092286361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689252007162662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539334921805925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368961735022958,0.0,0.11090676251826548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081638042102109,0.0,0.37705681707869104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639278356096877,0.0,0.1211807195356792,0.208718192130524,0.0,0.10572803406477024,0.0,0.0,0.10563324576534776,0.0,0.0,0.12366782890938477,0.0,0.11042502073839727,0.0,0.07072195751318303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132000576500096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922952854274119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649022368029184,0.10163701860581588,0.0,0.0,0.14668325961760992,0.07073675215252095,0.0,0.17528282972047832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749510577719582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910875571663049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242232594374055,0.0,0.07842154450025605,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SensitiveWorth,2018/01/30,"Reality doesn't feel real I haven't figured out what exactly it is yet, but I don't feel like myself and at the same time, I do. And all this is complicated by the fact that I don't really know who this ""myself"" is yet. I'm constantly imagining myself in situations that are not my immediate reality. Actually ""imagining"" is the wrong word to use, because I get so engrossed in that ""real fantasy"" in my head, I basically start LIVING it. 

It's like an alternate reality that I have created for myself, that is not physical, but my body and thoughts respond to those situations as though it is. It's not that I COMPLETELY detach myself from the physical reality, but my personality and attitude are those of the ""me in that fantasy"". And I keep on doubting if that is really me. ""Living in my head"" is quite a vague term to describe my situation, because I live as the person in my head, but I am capable of responding to physical reality. 

I'm well aware what situations have been made in my head and what situations actually exist in the physical world, but I simply can't stop living in that ""fantasy"". It's more natural for me to live in my fantasy, than to be present in real life. And these fantasies have always felt as the reality for me, but I KNOW that it isn't. And now, my past seems hazy and I'm starting to doubt if few of my memories are ones I have ""realized through fantasies"" or things that have ACTUALLY happened. My responses, my behaviour, my demeanour, everything; is that of the character I have created in my head that is playing me in my fantasy. 

This has caused a lot of self-doubt, self-loathing, suicidal ideation, anxiety, low self-esteem my entire life. I feel like as though I don't deserve to feel the way I feel;  whether is happy, sad, angry, confused,whatever. But nowadays, I'm trying not to beat myself up, work on myself, create/discover/define my identity and really just GENUINELY love myself. That's all I have been doing for the past two years. But it is hard to do so sincerely, when you can't trust yourself to be honest/real with yourself.

I'm not sure if this made sense or not, but in summary, all I can say is that I feel ""depersonalized""(if that is a word) and my reality doesn't feel real. ",7.084105833919067,6.472893265588915,8.620996083944174,66.78564414097804,64.3810623556582,12.888402450045184,37.07089065167185,12.200932325342574,4.761497720654684,1756,79,327,58,23,619,176,433,0.107,0.8059999999999999,0.087,-0.7907,0,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,1,0,3,10,15,0,2,15,0,43,9,6,4,6,73,69,35,1,3,22,0,9,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,36,13,0,2,16,8,0,0,15,5,1,2,6,10,54,10,48,61,8,36,0,2,0,1,8,21,0,9,17,247,90,1,0.0,0.0,0.2160488260384344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061405909939064175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645532510362612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997324266035302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197302433745153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581095126816094,0.0,0.0,0.07737587719050021,0.07974950143702662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632495095704066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612016674460209,0.10544271853344822,0.0708577247357219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038556448094993014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525939368023224,0.07855942272145154,0.06610857945626768,0.0,0.37869057661663375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559511955469366,0.0,0.0,0.08111498366898819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425152516991637,0.10816203474973132,0.0,0.3258252597424566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274048401284803,0.06660564362972499,0.13965904516997082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000748528368757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408972253357692,0.0,0.1288752644984057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849333636175418,0.0,0.3359934615694417,0.1418308089618292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058687190989723914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718299548831552,0.2309624598274651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41476063955445536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446931413033674,0.0,0.0,0.06169849485615383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072311574144217,0.0,0.06955381198169151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049028161607012434,0.0,0.1450124672764955,0.0585874279374027,0.04303225078963727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010404844615176,0.0,0.07208999564138549,0.0,0.0,0.06373784191924117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058577476629778386,0.0,0.0,0.06635333189176057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372587726707116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806866096004816,0.0,0.0475235405017584
mentalhealth,miss_coroner,2018/01/30,"Lost between two personalities Hi, newbie on reddit here! Imma cut to the chase, I feel like I have lost myself, and its between two personalities, one is like a mask and the other one is like more of a mood, I dont like them and im exhausted from fighting whit myself.
The mask I put on is a kind, caring and calm. Its the mask I have to wear in my profession and school (and my future profession in health-care). The mask is my idè of what the ""society"" wants me to be. And I fucking hate it. The other person is an unrealistic mad man, this is the persona I feel comes through on my free time. And its all hate and I wanna, it sounds so ridiculous, punish people who I believe is doing wrong and use my fists to settle arguments. I have never been violent or anything, never been in a fight, but my thoughts and mind is all violent. This persona identifies whit characters like worriors, mercenaries, and the anti-heroes of the comic world. I hate that just as much because im trying to reach an unrealistic goal that is just bizarre.. all I want is to find a balance and find myself. I don't have any mental health diagnoses, but sense I started university my mental state have been unstable.

Does anyone have experience with the same thoughts, or have any tips on how I can start ""finding"" myself? 

Unfortunately I dont have the finance to go to a professional, and the state one has a wait for about 8 months... ",5.618126203208554,6.03923708,6.595187165775402,76.59042780748666,67.29090909090908,9.379679144385028,30.35828877005348,9.325443323948027,2.531705882352941,1107,39,214,20,17,370,142,275,0.128,0.768,0.103,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,3,0,42.0,0,0,1,3,6,26,12,0,22,0,28,5,1,2,5,42,47,21,0,3,6,0,2,5,0,0,3,1,0,4,13,16,0,1,7,1,2,3,5,16,0,5,7,3,29,10,27,39,6,20,0,2,0,1,9,8,1,2,12,155,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391168631967724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398626690712921,0.0,0.08707432644041993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450206213277851,0.0,0.0,0.11921398027481178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078824680287506,0.0,0.0,0.09114773806956084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739703433441963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259686466067198,0.0,0.2480219404906031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350451843076924,0.0,0.0,0.10700353435006127,0.07559217141887624,0.0,0.0,0.2901309737635673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782156334694317,0.0,0.0,0.0601354437625861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134025693181213,0.0,0.22494658705414966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285904086698403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101869989916214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25847218867694205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310127704763539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326737966221732,0.0,0.10684003762547667,0.0,0.08445819311256941,0.0,0.07778405402800198,0.0,0.1632175991085576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151030124622009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335677360366141,0.27717308187173256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637036634939737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708747445722053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497886703148262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800594511342493,0.06169987503117074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183945694115867,0.0,0.2067260550146381,0.0,0.0,0.09138766411262694,0.0,0.0,0.12482141309695452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156888993182162,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hayleighhinds,2018/01/30,"So confused So lately I’ve developed and noticed different behaviours in myself. I believe my anxiety is causing them and it’s frustrating. 

I have a skin picking disorder, so I’m constantly tearing up the skin around my nails. I’ve found myself always thinking about how dirty the surfaces/objects around me are and being extremely uncomfortable. I’ve had breakdowns over things not being perfectly neat and tidy. 

I really do not know why this is happening. Does anyone else experience the same things? ",5.510252525252525,8.701617500000005,6.0574242424242435,69.04919191919193,72.86363636363636,9.82020202020202,34.77777777777778,9.994966539143718,4.7056398989899,412,22,58,13,9,133,65,88,0.235,0.765,0.0,-0.9614,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,7,4,1,1,4,0,8,2,2,3,1,18,13,8,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,9,2,6,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17518499358718495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610614642150177,0.0,0.0,0.14721349488335428,0.2157216913827239,0.0,0.3748480082791691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23720492205992375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628115314845814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275174476152323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21996804182808505,0.2412954930144968,0.0,0.18424376079211224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758779971179182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059471646750142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308447243488333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861786019410837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157065167504044,0.0,0.2374967281506609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396996086322549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487642792634413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27974500126255564,0.13490464332332305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997835286204048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mikeepangilinan,2018/01/30,"My cousin is scared of seeing a professional who can help her The husband says my cousin will cry out of the blue and she sometimes punches herself. When her husband is leaving for work, she's gonna start crying then she will tell him not to leave. So the husband got scared and decided they should live in my cousin's parents' house for a while. 

My aunt(cousins mom) and her mom are also like that. So i guess its hereditary. My mom would usually go with my aunt to the hospital to have a check up because she thinks she's sick and is hurting somewhere. The doctors say that nothing's wrong with her and my aunt would insist that her head and neck hurt so the doctor would just give her pain relievers. Then one doctor said that her ""sickness"" is only in her mind. So i suggested that my aunt should go try and see my therapist. But i think she doesnt want it.

Now that my cousin is in her mom's house, she was always in her bed and she sometimes complain how her head and stomach hurts. She's also lazy of taking a shower. They didnt go to a hospital yet to check if there's something wrong with her because its just the same with her mom. But i think hers is worse because she starts hurting herself. My uncle even joked about having two patients in his house. Imagine being in the situation of my uncle. And now as im typing this, my cousin is crying for i-dont-know reason. 

Please help me how to persuade my cousin to see a psychiatrist. If something isnt clear, please feel free to ask. And also, what do you think is this? And why is this happening.",3.1484541182290364,4.942564964630228,3.682717041800643,89.96413492456102,74.59485530546623,6.4566411080880535,24.50173138758348,7.1686216300943375,0.9001139253029935,1228,39,253,13,26,385,152,311,0.16,0.7829999999999999,0.057,-0.9865,2,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,1,18,14,0,2,14,0,26,10,4,3,1,44,48,30,0,8,7,18,1,1,0,8,6,3,2,0,14,17,0,0,8,1,3,3,4,10,0,2,4,8,50,5,29,35,1,21,0,4,4,0,60,8,0,3,11,173,64,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138925329297667,0.06291128244655772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068256541634091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382684196176348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24915301660082895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23216164904817724,0.0,0.0,0.08861112499923088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049937870536195736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03822929350079821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252935631648427,0.1289080146762087,0.0,0.060470018600174535,0.0,0.0832899015392813,0.0,0.06685923475740882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518968678435274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135588169666064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26172181952014073,0.3237564669407583,0.0,0.08166879605974184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04155176312273212,0.0,0.0,0.16011430575484545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369378795672233,0.0,0.06676258022793534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634176162178953,0.4427514425325842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725471882212317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05123342418093143,0.05750271483789006,0.08045143662035456,0.0,0.08395289517110999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598809545246132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773683755545527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191980140652499,0.12025182761768112,0.15139207886459932,0.0,0.1807475498699533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498570827667447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641229807007708,0.1495549920112096,0.0,0.10703039063786797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056847236847250786,0.0,0.06608406238154896,0.0,0.0,0.08778583585389058,0.0,0.19378427217264896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133235459974202,0.0,0.07385728966262163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832706957926535,0.0,0.0445951104835176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822377631156831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504297294498034,0.0,0.07705023931284312,0.16112764716921832,0.16532930108089833,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lolgatePoP,2018/01/30,"I have a feeling that im somewhere else than where im sitting. from u.s.


I was outside 10 minutes ago sitting on my deck and it was windy.


Then i did ""a few"" errands and im now sitting on my chair in front of my desk. I have the fan running really high too.


I just had a sudden shock and chills and my brain had me convinced that I was outside still somehow. as if i had never moved at all


Is this common/normal or just weird?",0.5244806763285013,2.3316466413043493,2.5053623188405787,95.30727053140095,82.58695652173913,4.523671497584541,23.265700483091784,5.033348758259628,0.07045990338164243,329,12,75,1,9,110,62,92,0.051,0.873,0.077,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,4,0,10,1,1,0,2,12,11,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,7,1,12,1,8,4,2,18,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,6,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265824519534374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678094649077802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004069577152796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130142960580932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534691542587367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7774045091384013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549773766018179,0.0,0.0,0.18502686129904053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368707303449847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915856840762108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tns12345,2018/01/30,"SSRI & Orgasm... Does anyone have any tips or success stories.... I was on Lexapro for years which caused problems orgasming, so after 5 years I stopped it and switched to Wellbutrin which is supposed to not cause that issue. Anyways, my doctor says Lexapro affected my brain’s pathways with serotonin etc. and need to “reset them” in a sense. I started Maca about 1.5g twice daily. Has anyone had success w/ maca? Or ANY other ideas? 😃",3.267444444444444,6.1539863,3.216666666666665,87.8327777777778,79.75,4.555555555555556,28.88888888888889,5.82211442006289,1.3182222222222224,344,16,58,2,9,104,66,80,0.08,0.825,0.096,0.51,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,4,3,3,0,13,7,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,6,2,9,5,1,7,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,5,35,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374340934644721,0.0,0.2980404019895105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30645039738776186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446285876145331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502266954693616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429529239913312,0.19176765606881446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443949046498521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247378213472754,0.0,0.2287213676248981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248679249995085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20968384760105652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742659841598612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510580362090076,0.0,0.0,0.18320776213624604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28223318978582834
mentalhealth,frvrtb,2018/01/30,"Does anyone else feel older than they really are? I'm an average 18-year old college student with a job, but for the past few months I've been having problems with my memory. Sometimes, when people ask me how old I am, I catch myself about to say ""25"" or ""26."" Interestingly, I sometimes ""think back"" retrospectively on what I'm doing in the present. What's worse, I find that I can vaguely remember the events that occur during this 7 or 8-year gap (like finishing college and transferring to a university), and that they seem strangely accurate to me, like *correct* information from classes I have yet to take. I've had minor problems with Depersonalization before, but I feel like this is something else. 

Anybody else with some insight, or a similar case?",9.052210636079252,8.524446671532848,8.924608967674661,65.93642335766424,60.38686131386861,11.624191866527633,39.279457768508856,10.914260884657429,4.402744316996872,602,27,100,13,7,196,96,137,0.104,0.823,0.073,-0.6553,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,0,7,0,9,0,0,1,1,24,17,9,0,2,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,13,4,14,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,5,14,63,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387201943125368,0.16686421752530528,0.0,0.0,0.15224746373808887,0.0,0.0,0.12522546110606186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138577630685159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425155290663433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081334266510805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468878688010807,0.1163436617699047,0.0,0.0,0.1488465416763716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616084824947033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386882159772004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998932652346534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417779052962869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546354795075584,0.11290316836360476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116605280590977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432909859124184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448299563611145,0.0,0.0,0.129508851700714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482570975501195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537375394268166,0.32213556608986377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244671057894956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435092365718153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596318267023685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974659224064046
mentalhealth,Frecklemed,2018/01/30,"Am I horrible for doing this? TL;DR 
I dumped a girlfriend I met online with mental health problems. Feel really guilty about it.

So I started talking to this girl my age online. She messaged me first, and we had a pretty good conversation. It was a little flirty and stuff but not really anything too much. Then she asked for my snap and we took our conversation there. We talked (on the phone and video chatting) a lot that day (like for hours). I usually don't talk to people for that long so it was cool at first, but it got kinda annoying after a while (I had an exam on Monday and on Tuesday and had just had 2 more exams Friday and Thursday). I liked talking to her and was crushing on her a little (as much as you could with someone you'd just met). After a little while, she told me about a lot of really fucked up stuff that happened to her (like all sorts of next level stuff, it was actually pretty hard to believe). After a while, I didn't know if she was really telling the truth but I felt super bad for doubting her since it was serious traumatic stuff. It's just weird that she told me all that like barely a few hours after we'd started talking. So anyway, the next day she called me and asked me to date. I said yes even though I thought it was kinda really fast, I liked her so I didn't want to say no. Anyway, we talked for a few hours after that but I had to study and get some errands done and stuff. Even when I told her I really needed to study though, she wouldn't let me go 30 mins without texting me to call. It was getting pretty annoying since we'd only been dating for like a day and I didn't want to fail my exams, but I didn't really say anything. From then on, anytime I asked her what she was doing or how she was feeling, she'd answer with like wanting to die or trying not to hurt herself or screaming on the inside. This kinda freaked me the fuck out. I'm used to my friends joking about stuff like that and talking serious about it, but we'd just started dating and all our convos started like this (also she'd told me all that stuff that happened to her). There was a point that I was in the car with my mom when she texted me. I asked her what she was doing and she said trying not to kill herself and some other serious stuff. This freaked me out so I texted her if she was serious, what's wrong, if she was okay, that she was awesome, that I hoped she didn't hurt herself, etc... she didn't respond for about and hour and by then I was on the verge of a panic attack. When she called me, she said she'd just finished crying (so had I worrying my new gf just killed herself) so I didn't really say anything about her freaking me out. I kinda just let it go after telling her she scared me. After that, it was just one thing after another of me saying the wrong thing. I deal with depression, social anxiety, and anxiety in general. I'm on medication and am being treated. I was feeling pretty good up until this point, but now I just feel like shit again. Anyway, basically every time I talked to her I ended up crying or freaking out without her noticing. Her problems were way worse than mine. 

Eventually after a phone call, I had an anxiety attack and started bawling. My mom found me and I ended up telling her about it. I'm only 17 so she made me block her on snap and the website we'd met on. What I'm really worrying about is the effect this will have one her. Like is she going to kill herself and it'll be my fault. I've been stalking her on her account (on the website we met on) to make sure she keeps posting. She has a picture of me and my full name and my state. She has like upwards of 350 followers on insta so I'm worried about that too. I told her that I wouldn't leave her or anything and I just feel really guilty and paranoid about it now. I was doing really good before this too and now I seriously feel like killing myself (and I haven't even thought about that before this for at least a month). I know I should have known this would happen.

Anyway, what I'm asking is is this okay? Am I a horrible person for bringing someone into my life just to completely cut them off? I think this might be the worst thing I've ever done and I can't deal with it.",2.6334967811509458,4.224314866589328,3.9839086957942564,88.12410721871834,75.50812064965197,6.666082807751383,23.27773602169864,7.363072812223513,0.8725247018071299,3293,96,686,39,71,1084,287,862,0.189,0.682,0.129,-0.996,1,0,0,0,0,1,94.0,11,2,1,5,55,64,13,3,32,4,78,6,1,5,7,132,142,71,5,15,31,2,8,13,3,7,3,8,0,2,61,47,0,2,16,3,1,7,18,38,0,4,58,17,145,26,98,63,17,103,0,4,0,2,123,36,3,20,70,526,206,4,0.0,0.0,0.04068665195818345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033342121444792865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043719066253910636,0.09568579405017633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372401521174291,0.0,0.19488806288330465,0.09486430837852483,0.0,0.0,0.03481216866618607,0.0,0.0,0.07095586445932253,0.0469740779408562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702941065358726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371463769928996,0.0,0.0,0.033288711926263606,0.0,0.09159627692411904,0.08066619878068139,0.08596793470456783,0.035910383040859056,0.0,0.04327106871452501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533345452143642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385578710969352,0.0,0.04649905689928195,0.0826141054387915,0.037713981924445104,0.03512840820643813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648832840544455,0.05957141173817688,0.04003211178326256,0.0,0.0,0.07092860893087524,0.0,0.04571455760542005,0.03221214450102028,0.07708957842634137,0.04356606272247941,0.0,0.0710857992275727,0.10491109989783813,0.033345945264122816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060775740931836,0.0,0.03734901244002017,0.0,0.0,0.044318034212317135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04141086001245745,0.1642380302543688,0.0,0.08926709198565677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037058925731017066,0.1845098611868538,0.0,0.045827100794522416,0.0,0.0,0.044147190618597634,0.0,0.08526845961852036,0.029449214780345175,0.2648001605349569,0.12536293638140192,0.0,0.03689726346615252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089231495100845,0.0,0.039451213884161326,0.027830605258392004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200161905878942,0.04201704569968055,0.044230008529481404,0.0,0.09766139128166468,0.033279198772394006,0.0,0.06129875385494761,0.0309150578268474,0.0,0.04026765437988393,0.0886826070644733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746810479522765,0.0,0.0,0.05650492584521857,0.06341927539996522,0.0,0.04891811082618944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02890488844349236,0.03640498628582689,0.0,0.0,0.0788273005655896,0.0,0.039930661694408655,0.16966832333752785,0.0,0.07978972535807158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938077912150319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189796439603696,0.1326247603184416,0.041742272386419615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042797579074977485,0.06897826651916808,0.0,0.0,0.04250107452271936,0.07065320511204014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755368157757298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818308792355556,0.0,0.0,0.039295447131389376,0.0,0.0,0.2680919979750685,0.10932536046878187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309753890490006,0.026715386742490504,0.08192692217582292,0.06619965495735303,0.024311701798515238,0.0,0.0,0.19919870125938105,0.04632279664484179,0.0566140353975879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036009629465969126,0.045919285759889454,0.0,0.07377537568145852,0.03309420534134863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038171758649305,0.0,0.0,0.12702472710966675,0.04248904039044258,0.029617728076494737,0.09117016915194737,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,0kay_bro,2018/01/30,"Depressed but bursts of intense energy? So, I've been struggling with depression since November, and at first I was depressed 24/7 with all the normal symptoms of depression. However, around 10pm on December 19th, I had this HUGE random burst of energy. I was just watching YouTube when i got this urge to just jump up and dance. I started blasting music and jumping and feeling absolutely euphoric. I cleaned my entire room, planned a trip to Greece, and I had about 20 tabs opened on my computer of random ideas and thoughts I was googling. This lasted for a little over a week before I crashed again into depression. Since then, I've had a few more of these bursts of energy, however they now only last for a few hours to a day, and they're not as intense. 
Also, during these bursts of energy, I almost always become extremely paranoid after a few hours (ex. I was convinced that my friends were going to kill me at a party). 

Is this a normal thing for a depressed person to experience? Does this happen to anyone else? I'm not looking for a diagnosis or anything, I just want to know if anyone has experienced something like this, and some advice/help on how to deal with this. ",6.378166023166022,7.150540445945946,6.646537966537968,75.65351351351353,65.71171171171171,9.405920205920207,32.97425997425998,9.424239791934726,3.077215186615188,937,38,163,17,14,302,133,222,0.161,0.684,0.155,-0.8236,2,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,1,2,11,11,1,1,12,0,11,1,0,1,1,35,21,17,1,4,8,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,1,11,14,0,0,4,1,0,5,2,8,0,1,11,4,17,3,34,10,6,31,0,6,2,0,5,13,0,6,14,115,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173464487929067,0.0,0.0,0.09721936578806324,0.10115585464960193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000893268257464,0.12456267863729495,0.10004162881181564,0.10822294154524596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342643489854179,0.10344698901509818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840249656356167,0.12533317809315594,0.6282476062993229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106386595707512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155601086727263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891864153875399,0.0,0.0,0.06146936934577321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034072530133826,0.0,0.0,0.0939245651854501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909094780591725,0.0,0.09723051532726583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075038175997971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148570842995621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23944362937506056,0.0,0.0,0.1372375640557892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344990278732769,0.0,0.06681161069079053,0.1981913082792214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939288838596848,0.12184492807903005,0.0,0.0,0.10208805654923583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23822528418326605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245934970472668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615010457842264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011276737521696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359041053571128,0.0,0.0,0.08604776613520368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709120373370514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635762327856506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076560699414212,0.0,0.0,0.0965128820761882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717050477867102,0.0,0.09751600135675964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PopcornPoppinFresh,2018/01/30,"nothing feels real? help hi, I just need some advice because I literally feel so detached and removed from my own life. Nothing feels real anymore, and nothing feels like it has any purpose at all. I feel that nothing matters at all, and even if things were real that wouldn't matter anyways because we all die in the end so what's the point? we don't even know what's going to happen. I just mentally feel detached from everyone because I just don't care anymore, and I can feel myself growing a part from how it's supposed to be, but I can't not feel like things don't make sense and just aren't real. I want to feel like things make sense again. Does anyone know what's going on/some tips to get me back to the here and now? Thanks, it would be greatly appreciated",3.534075268817201,5.010692122580647,4.292661290322581,87.2923252688172,72.93548387096773,6.198924731182796,27.110215053763447,6.42735559955562,1.0511182795698932,609,22,122,4,12,195,83,155,0.131,0.802,0.067,-0.3873,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,0,14,6,0,0,4,0,12,1,0,3,3,43,33,11,1,5,7,0,9,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,11,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,1,9,13,6,11,28,6,12,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,7,80,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982960979426056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947233115619042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263061907260047,0.07143267606724688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855476563284533,0.0,0.1868274384941114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415897049794637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060259936578259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894009403995368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048347369633557,0.0,0.0,0.13495148728724005,0.0,0.0,0.09761829723093833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648966770539774,0.21894946129512333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053374404967718315,0.0,0.11611981125754114,0.0,0.0,0.11263180595496293,0.0,0.0,0.09033978694445154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847572209932233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122889737309766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721586582510435,0.14973070731622398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363852414224855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029532931175216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575037600077507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921012587777992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062936907381232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965742598706056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465121969744971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405524019845288,0.0,0.0,0.2036117755962522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025663910846401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257156207338003,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Haci-Muro,2018/01/30,"I think i got mis-diagnosed Recently i got diagnosed with anxiety and  Asperger's, i understand the anxiety since it is so bad i feel it physically but i believe that i don't have Asperger's, i have most of the symptoms but how can ""excessive kindness"" be a sign of Asperger's? I don't feel different nor do i feel like i misunderstand people. Is it common for stuff like this to happen? ",3.826666666666668,5.413097662337663,6.425389610389612,71.85332251082255,72.37662337662337,11.886580086580093,33.612554112554115,11.538034831475384,4.769564502164502,308,16,58,13,6,111,47,77,0.204,0.7390000000000001,0.057,-0.8119,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,1,0,12,17,6,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,3,11,3,5,14,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140425243693928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138126043510646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312546731137866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4166636498696594,0.0,0.21445017736850705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31135275369257426,0.14663584632554244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32832600488440306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150834037832675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137438778107836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005566842536517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229955799891233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026668077707424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697909482750255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349704854067187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334091204855454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152058111756146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213680073796842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,statelymanor,2018/01/30,"Depressed and sad after separation (x-post /r/parenting) My wife of 8 years and recently separated. She had been discussing separation for the last 6 months. In the end I took the step of moving out as I couldn't stand the lack of respect from my wife and the negative headspace it was putting me in. I was constantly depressed at home and often did not sleep at night. 

Now I see the kids 2-3 days a week when they stay with me. My kids always cry when they leave me, and call me up on the phone and are sad when they are with their mother. I will say that I believe my wife is quite disengaged from the kids and this is why I believe the kids are closer to me and emotionally more reliant on me.

This is the best for the kids, as I do believe that the negativity of two parents together is worse than the loneliness of two separated parents.

Anyway, I am struggling in every aspect of my life. I have no motivation for work and spend my days feeling sorry for myself and missing my kids.

I am living with my parents for the time being which is ok. But how do you get over this type of experience. I feel like I am mourning for a lost family unit and mourning over losing seeing the kids everyday.

Even though I worked full-time, after 6pm I would be at home looking after the kids until bedtime (only a couple hours I know). I would wake with the kids and set them up for the day.

I feel so lonely and hollow, my whole existence for better or worse was built on me being a great and loving father. I am still that, but only seeing them 2-3 days a week is breaking my heart. 

I guess its only a matter of time before I adapt, as I have to work. I will just need to readjust my life and the meaning of my life. I know I need to stop feeling like a victim and take responsibility. I was partially responsible for the failure of the relationship, although I don't think I could've done anything to save it except perhaps seek couple's counselling early on.",5.1561309523809555,5.382147181122452,6.192244897959185,79.75870748299323,68.26020408163265,8.778231292517006,29.08843537414966,8.59863814320734,2.0269537414965986,1533,50,308,22,24,512,195,392,0.123,0.789,0.08800000000000001,-0.8588,4,2,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,6,9,12,21,1,1,28,1,34,7,3,2,0,48,55,30,2,6,6,8,4,2,0,4,3,1,2,9,10,21,0,1,9,0,1,4,6,12,0,2,10,9,56,9,54,37,4,52,0,10,4,1,31,16,0,3,30,224,66,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003829521251449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692668274766073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162463092801029,0.2845008813296505,0.08833388644951662,0.07444377036980006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594957318037864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909606116127923,0.0,0.06720492305901928,0.1862706264149,0.09245958144630699,0.2171372964516195,0.0,0.14499536867792068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613773128525408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468277684874203,0.07455188565368097,0.0,0.0,0.05559516803475655,0.0,0.07091899428036767,0.0,0.0,0.08233689440134861,0.07935037842719747,0.0,0.17024065889925413,0.1202657570905506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397667743549225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280052119464596,0.09272554119660352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974486376638708,0.0,0.0,0.16886383887414375,0.0,0.0828929954623857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251805205727837,0.06861185349032689,0.0,0.0891265650460307,0.0,0.0,0.17836066032042824,0.08224490148809699,0.0,0.07432589388279381,0.0,0.07068373320589992,0.09416754042828238,0.0918842692881904,0.0,0.07596900259254277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168857079083613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718571742633299,0.08946208782979152,0.0,0.12482574196445398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899022567026863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19205102617762065,0.0,0.0,0.3738545728063575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061402474246071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461665011659536,0.0,0.0895278560284375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311022742543324,0.09036980599007748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693738130108956,0.0,0.0,0.20122384673185348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423332721219437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422426589202024,0.0,0.08971672686021183,0.06722029822482088,0.0703720114430563,0.0,0.08799541338312536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632872737844074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393436413214015,0.08269909201479926,0.0,0.09816336855701374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351878772873301,0.0,0.0,0.16444867934082072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503626685033546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595262407631342,0.0939756336081819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383583223421884,0.0,0.1715580162198099,0.11958751308688426,0.0,0.0,0.054204355289401804
mentalhealth,LosingMyMindd_,2018/01/31,"I'm becoming more like a serial killer every day. This all started when my first (ever) girlfriend broke up with me 8 months ago. I was 16 at the time, and I was extremely hurt by this because she was the first girl I ever loved despite only dating her for 1 and a half months. I spent the first couple months of the breakup crying about it but hiding it from everyone I knew. It got worse when I found out she cheated on me two weeks before breaking up with me. I also had to go to work with her every day afterwards for 3 months straight until she quit, and I frequently see the guy she cheated on me with, even today.

I withdrew from friends and lost all of them and now all I have is my sisters. I can't make friends now because I am far too cynical and have a strong sense of disdain for everyone around me.

When I was dating her, I was a fairly charismatic motivated, and funny person. Now, I display no emotion, I can't be funny even if I tried. I can't express emotion to others whatsoever, I stutter and slur my words, I keep misspelling common words I used to know well and feel more stupid overall, despite the fact that I read more books now than I ever have. I get angry easily. I can't get to sleep at night. I have bags under my eyes and they're bloodshot.

This is where it gets bad.

I have constant suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, I'll think about my ex and think about killing myself in front of her, or just killing her. Sometimes it's the guy she cheated on me with. Sometimes it's their entire groups of friends. I don't actually feel compulsion to do it. I just have the thoughts. I'm also pretty apathetic in general, although I still care about human life (mostly) and don't want to hurt anybody.

I don't want to go to therapy because my family is poor enough already, and no way would I ever tell another person about this face to face. Other than therapy, how can I get better, and what the fuck is wrong with me? This is some Ted Bundy type of shit.",4.878030303030299,5.286488035353536,5.605781818181821,83.08467272727277,68.8989898989899,8.457212121212121,29.98141414141414,8.364918446050245,2.0491045656565654,1546,56,313,21,25,504,199,396,0.236,0.648,0.116,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,2,9,28,25,9,0,13,0,29,8,5,4,8,57,59,25,3,4,5,2,2,1,4,1,1,0,0,6,16,22,0,1,10,2,2,3,9,16,1,5,13,4,59,9,48,44,9,54,0,4,2,2,28,15,2,4,35,221,75,5,0.0,0.0,0.08254409075083079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498070914190105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933431574228712,0.13528737145503286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869617918213943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529979842033524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062608180609772,0.15468918945626095,0.09341899480169534,0.07197676674470052,0.0,0.0,0.07480976622258173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624143675466472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140781097482613,0.0,0.0,0.09359320428701408,0.09291415035370083,0.1091024158573439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029655177789695,0.0,0.0874003266604607,0.0,0.11173699298477532,0.3060528401055075,0.14253532180060552,0.16165179372440158,0.0,0.0,0.07974049716079662,0.0,0.08553881560919714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21584735720345136,0.0,0.09274458354288116,0.19605364789198101,0.07819873166397683,0.1767715386715385,0.0,0.09614476132642158,0.0,0.06765144339924893,0.0,0.0,0.16750760048712318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110290690666586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518424793992183,0.1871645612654981,0.0,0.04648645421498841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974585128970269,0.0413246254371595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233600972702496,0.0,0.07634249710727131,0.0,0.056462055626014786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700641189554466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937857374643399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433174237765893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771510297030646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860547428030466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996801138129074,0.08460925551835287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740438166793605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682668838693318,0.0,0.0,0.0846474525080052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509742342900223,0.0,0.059870664685196,0.0,0.06755078055061951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252375465719108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393221152051856,0.0,0.19346376086869474,0.0,0.0,0.1083990548046133,0.0,0.13430425123427636,0.04932298980083921,0.0,0.08017798382971718,0.0,0.0,0.05742858960762085,0.0,0.08262858796637376,0.0,0.0,0.07305546117674347,0.0,0.0,0.09978245955923143,0.06714071956155307,0.0678500800299463,0.0,0.0760533007708053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157988131829315,0.0,0.08620073260166562,0.0600877269698247,0.09248191180711407,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ITry17,2018/01/31,"Not sure what to say. So I need some advice... I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 8 months. He makes me so happy and I genuinely see us getting married and having a family. Unfortunately this is the first time ever for me having one of my low moods whilst in a relationship - I’m depressed most the time but at the moment I’m like an extra level of depressed. 
I don’t know how to handle it because I can see how this is hurting him and I’m getting frustrated because he’s not handling it well and says stupid stuff (I was having a break down a few nights ago and was texting him whilst crying and he says ‘I can’t handle this right now I’m stressed and tired’ - stuff like that) 

He’s never been with a person who has depression before either. 

He’s not handling the fact that I’ve no libido at all, and things such as cuddling are too much for me as well. I know this is down to the fact that I was assaulted early last year and I never dealt with it because I didn’t know how or if I could (also I don’t want my mum to know because she’s emotionally abusive so would use it against me)

I believe that he believes that he knows it’s not his fault but he’s been saying the odd stuff here and there and it’s made me feel guilty, I don’t think he does it on purpose because I do think he’s just a bit obtuse. 

I just want to know what to say to him. What are the magic words I could use to just fix things? I want him to know what depression is, I want him to think before he speaks and I want him to stop pressing for sex and even talking about it via text because that makes me anxious. 

I feel terrible because I feel like I’m dating an itch, or a clicking pen that won’t stop. 

I know what I need to do to get better because I admit I’ve not looked after myself properly but it’s going to take time. 

I’m just stuck and in a constant state of Agro ",2.4106514382402686,3.510785581218279,3.8477360406091385,90.86811844331645,75.16751269035531,6.370084602368866,23.285617597292728,6.588339656340683,0.4805380033840949,1445,40,325,11,30,478,174,394,0.196,0.7340000000000001,0.07,-0.9953,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,21,21,3,1,17,0,28,4,1,8,7,79,70,29,0,11,16,1,4,3,0,2,2,6,0,1,31,17,0,2,15,0,0,1,14,12,2,2,9,14,43,8,35,57,8,35,0,6,4,2,32,10,0,6,25,211,74,1,0.0,0.09138612288402788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537028376290195,0.06837085577943446,0.0,0.07723428760710895,0.0,0.0,0.061680620711560226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713464573499137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761405614497849,0.0,0.1312634461554292,0.17379759650522855,0.0,0.06821498217118173,0.08420569350881348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334984201664741,0.0,0.12316363358582405,0.0,0.084723391474989,0.0,0.0,0.2657269087832432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749675031756729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676056979074072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050943462125250714,0.0697682605006416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271104919591323,0.0,0.1169973335639976,0.055101497647032836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560651265558784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089130839187925,0.0,0.04383460549937293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210603646121226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256897588097456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33910787915492074,0.06287102788218102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304507672324525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064769551252996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298201958230889,0.1029693932318226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615642181156181,0.0,0.05669922942483908,0.11438144145993002,0.11897441209088945,0.0,0.0,0.07238103079718405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522651041440866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734670902160977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280846971887253,0.0,0.06586837172448898,0.0,0.30668330266972754,0.0,0.0,0.12292482454917385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896782315275349,0.08835185012963932,0.0,0.26488527818804986,0.0,0.0,0.07269386185326017,0.0,0.05799196133431471,0.061993958866282124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024831365883334,0.14826485827135752,0.0,0.0,0.13492490512066374,0.08864928341901661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277757371652236,0.13323065244854956,0.0,0.0,0.22746557847733934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869778821936718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054790750338104335,0.0,0.0,0.04966902013827802
mentalhealth,thegetter,2018/01/31,"Sleep hallucinations during class, other problems [X-post /r/sleep] Hi /r/mentalhealth, crossposting here because it might be more appropriate to discuss here than on /r/sleep.
text:
Hi /r/sleep, I've had a couple occurrences of unsettling, yet extremely brief, hallucinations during class, followed by a momentary loss of consciousness, then picking my head up as it is falling. I realize everyone sleeps in class, but... I just can't tell if this is just normal sleep deprivation.

For a long time I've had trouble falling asleep, trouble with feeling tired during the day, not feeling sleepy or tired, and not feeling well rested after sleep. Normally, I go to bed to have 7-9 hours of sleep, but it takes me a long time to go to sleep. At night, I take melatonin, and that has been helping.

But a couple times a week now, especially during class, I have been feeling spells of extreme exhaustion. I will feel normal as I'm sitting down in my chair. I try to fight this exhaustion, and zero in on every word the professor is saying. It's not like I'm slowly being lulled to sleep, like how I would imagine falling asleep during class. Here is the most extreme example:

The professor will be talking and taking notes. ""Ok here's this equation, here's this fact, here's this..."" and after a few seconds, this is what I perceive: ""Here's llamas wearing beanies, there is a green field, all is peace and equality, so naturally the equation will be..."" and this feels perfectly logical to me, and I take avid notes, but I soon realize my head is very rapidly falling, jerking my whole body in one direction. I snap up, and look at my notes, and my handwriting just trails off where I thought I was writing. This is the most extreme example.

For other reasons this has been a time of high stress and fairly extreme emotional pain, but I've dealt with this problem a few times now over a few months. Should I talk to a doctor? Am I just not getting enough rest? This whole thing has been very frustrating. My Dad thinks I may be depressed, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm on the autistic spectrum, or have a combination of that with mild depression/anxiety and insomnia.

Edit: in canada

TL;DR: Tired, stressed, not sure if I have a mental illness, hallucinating what the teacher is saying then waking up in class.",6.878671328671333,7.446791564102565,6.880897435897435,75.11826923076923,64.5944055944056,9.956643356643358,35.14801864801865,9.851270322608157,3.4718186480186475,1827,80,322,36,26,583,209,429,0.168,0.772,0.06,-0.992,1,0,0,0,1,0,88.0,0,0,0,2,20,21,3,2,23,1,39,23,14,3,4,69,59,28,0,9,19,1,6,2,0,7,9,2,1,0,23,15,0,0,15,0,0,8,6,15,1,3,8,10,28,6,43,39,13,48,0,3,2,0,12,19,0,9,22,221,51,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053006311451292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042238262856367996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696506309475151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333512489684764,0.0,0.04468602365277388,0.0,0.05967898265444122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092078425993736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794141080163827,0.0,0.07159462114049271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058379429193078335,0.06620912856161745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020925196784565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03620092688205075,0.0,0.07875768918518554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222212420859026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644332073420703,0.07320820742014264,0.0,0.0,0.06823624345358413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770274242658322,0.0,0.0,0.12263813192342868,0.05818576588216786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982756320502102,0.07350525637204575,0.0,0.0,0.05530625290272295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650235431742338,0.20366712445958765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695238819327584,0.0,0.07372896001574537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663602296842548,0.0,0.0,0.13260147156406027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124119131548949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020365282080208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6933958400821539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587418769297643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530457514430899,0.0,0.20838845537563205,0.11138462153650884,0.060562115453567066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04603289413807055,0.04439794196006548,0.0,0.05500815816187067,0.20201645138158209,0.2389144135255492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047043052042167036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434226065776827,0.0,0.0,0.05557989265838415,0.0,0.06229962133119842,0.0,0.0,0.1547186026472536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922130399249573,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lissiek,2018/01/31,"Do I deserve another chance, I feel terrible Here's the jist- I'm a freshman in highschool orchestra, and was going to tryout for Chamber (highest orchestra), despite there being no spots for cellos. I ended up not trying out because I was too busy, but today I learned that some of my friends got in. I am in no way trying to be snobbish, but I know that if they could get in, I definitely could. My teacher told me that he would kick someone out of chamber for me, and now I'm really upset and jealous that I didn't audition. I'd feel so guilty to ask for another chance to audition, what should I do? I feel like I'm spoiled.",4.7541141732283485,5.1140657007874015,6.117785433070867,79.47620570866144,69.15748031496061,9.18464566929134,33.985236220472444,9.188382445141503,3.0018984251968504,492,23,97,9,8,167,80,127,0.132,0.728,0.14,-0.2104,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,1,1,2,0,12,0,0,0,0,19,24,7,0,5,4,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,2,2,1,4,3,0,0,5,3,16,2,17,13,1,12,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,4,67,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467996032563885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086202840969622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603353157109296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35634304310559056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764955150504696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33850240256498365,0.15942234553787302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240939844527894,0.0,0.11658954693895122,0.0,0.12682442261737126,0.0,0.1784778521465565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264043581799587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090225133151714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295913805912355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890789449179939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152533670150975,0.2132346590840788,0.0,0.30301589470855306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713046192083645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852327623895293,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quirkyster,2018/01/31,does anyone recognise these behaviours? ive been struggling since for ever with my non existent social skills. ive always been hypersensitive and taken things too personally. it was ok up until i left the country to find work abroad. i cant adjust to any environment. im not sure if i lack the ability to translate peoples intentions in my head. i just get  frustrated over every little thing. if my colleage asks me why i filed an email ill get defensive..like..why would she even think i filed it and didnt action it? if my manager doesnt support the team i get frustrated. and obviously im a loner. but this has led me to have spent my time abroad angry and alone. im in therapy but my therapist is quite confused..hes not sure if its just my temperament or something else. ,2.565438741721856,5.128675721854306,4.344929635761588,80.7208381622517,79.86092715231787,7.7485099337748355,25.33153973509933,8.660442795831766,2.1961950331125832,618,24,115,15,16,208,102,151,0.155,0.813,0.032,-0.9431,0,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,4,5,7,2,1,5,1,12,2,1,2,4,27,20,12,0,6,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,3,1,1,2,5,3,0,0,6,0,19,4,11,13,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,5,3,72,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554745832782059,0.0,0.0,0.12490828036971632,0.0,0.0,0.10208381751770937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049643814608156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033790688935804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313672527432485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540239734595693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914999808342063,0.1357882367302527,0.1264789440438529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720302193353176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528775814032976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406200727043862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4864521185537642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310113742631027,0.0,0.0,0.07333894395118941,0.15045535911730146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407131876155597,0.13107523108657262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966651540800958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417725078873472,0.0,0.0,0.15302404238679554,0.0,0.1155663928657982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693351376925813,0.0,0.0,0.17034950711414834,0.2829645243076113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167037528883616,0.17429588733376125,0.1994603894673204,0.09618807334099684,0.0,0.0,0.08753366657876896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27091212412162363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928601086513864,0.0,0.0,0.10663787980596516,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_____toss_____,2018/01/31,"[USA] What’s wrong with me? I don’t know where to start. I have bad anxiety. I can hardly leave my house sometimes. I do have a job, but while I’m there I keep my mouth shut all day. I don’t socialize at all. 

I have mood swings. For example, today I woke up feeling pretty good. Someone actually gilded one of my comments on my main account. This mood carried through until a few hours ago. I finished my taxes and ended up owing money instead of getting back over $1000. That threw me into a whirlwind of emotions. I started out incredibly angry. I wanted to yell at someone. Before I could even accept my anger, I got really sad. I had to step outside for a moment to get away from everything. Now I feel hopeless. That money was going to go towards paying down my debt. Now it just got added on top of it. 

I feel suicidal, but not that I want to kill myself. I’d rather something happen to me so that my family and few friends don’t have to go on knowing that I took the easy way out. I would never kill myself, but I sure don’t want to live anymore.

Who can I talk to about this? What do I even say to them? Back to the title, what’s wrong with me?",0.5352564698589788,2.7523793891213413,2.7233100883310115,91.30392685572602,85.65271966527197,5.047016891368356,20.567333023399968,6.42735559955562,0.2809710522237716,890,28,188,9,27,301,142,239,0.207,0.688,0.105,-0.9849,2,0,1,0,0,4,34.0,0,0,1,1,13,14,3,0,6,0,16,1,1,0,4,29,40,8,3,6,6,0,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,13,7,0,1,6,0,7,6,6,8,0,1,7,6,37,4,38,31,5,40,0,2,0,0,7,17,0,0,16,136,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.12307016395025801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179344376153898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647772094534356,0.0,0.1250723100376311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848930588236632,0.19394948398483589,0.10530085664494762,0.0,0.0,0.10731467756570587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069266054795538,0.0,0.0,0.08133381859801635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418625343949217,0.11170056260229023,0.0,0.0,0.16659569353614473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334413712792465,0.0,0.11889011036148035,0.0,0.1913027807086631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743622820094447,0.0,0.13177988907598848,0.0,0.21502238558394995,0.10577937843840302,0.20173156321389046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152318334872836,0.0,0.11297437521027055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419798839092687,0.1455199149407607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514979585849895,0.1120969125261083,0.27905538762496,0.0,0.1386191425616304,0.0,0.0,0.13353770157736713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136196073152273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726775462671436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545886861021902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830441536315107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079257467950708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029180462568968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285584819057876,0.21371386236662485,0.09708958013670194,0.12473107757889433,0.0,0.17852986086817685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379494710206054,0.0,0.11886200727278283,0.0,0.0,0.10136655560420132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954238668532564,0.0,0.14011853773503932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231578943861163,0.1001043113930656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958856221334338,0.27577416978017355,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SAPgym,2018/01/31,"How can I help someone suffering from PTSD and depression? When do I step back for my own health? I don't want to get into too much detail, because it will be long.

But a family member has PTSD and depression, it's pretty bad. They're stuck in a rut and are thinking so negatively. Everything I say they shoot it down and have something negative to say. They are getting professional help but they just started so i dont expect to see drastic results right away. I invite them out and they usually turn me down. They say they feel alone, have no friends, and are scared to go out. But yet when a friend invites them out or tries to talk to them they shut out or are short. It's like they want me to help them and fix them but i have no idea how, I'm running out of ideas, idk if im making it better or worse, and I feel like its taking a toll on my own life.


Is there anything I can do to help?
Is just being there hearing out their cries enough?
At what point do I start focusing on my own mental health? I feel like their constant negative energy is not good for me but i dont want to abandon them.",1.4969497607655526,3.496879548245616,2.891291866028709,92.7922248803828,80.27192982456141,6.250717703349283,21.32854864433812,7.348242739294969,0.5590280701754398,859,25,191,12,22,279,123,228,0.18600000000000005,0.652,0.162,-0.2702,0,1,1,1,0,0,22.0,0,0,16,1,13,13,0,1,4,0,22,3,0,4,0,42,41,23,0,5,12,0,3,3,2,1,3,4,0,0,7,15,0,1,6,0,0,3,9,6,0,0,1,8,34,7,27,37,5,30,0,4,1,0,27,18,0,4,12,135,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607553125163066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222788264281362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529781732036572,0.08617848328983135,0.09357764638849007,0.06831966275009729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991209149787204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111287492958035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231087338266433,0.0,0.0,0.19305945332482485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627012961858741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158030667045298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072546342266027,0.0,0.1056539999860388,0.0,0.17000492243525414,0.16013229615059765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317718390002645,0.0,0.11710875157119602,0.0,0.06369460295284901,0.0940028940512716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23826021147493034,0.1263162691378413,0.0,0.3004850857948816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530372626325741,0.12105984763775547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916163550622465,0.16426202986506774,0.0,0.0,0.09918253316669484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748106951514659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294488092587135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238775882217718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059467643170838,0.0,0.0,0.11402020452139387,0.0,0.0,0.26201852267163955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571113362026286,0.0,0.2673787657940185,0.11220627023511304,0.0,0.08930898092399008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496048217487132,0.08628053643165863,0.0,0.0,0.158654019752556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426618443501192,0.0900813535442809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181290650670692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609132651087656,0.1219050296401904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234343865920874,0.0,0.19831358637542448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421363705229662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Al_Ten_Ten,2018/01/31,"Today, I opened up about my Mental Health As the title says, I finally opened up about my mental health and have started on the pathway to some sort of redemption. After an incident on Friday which left me in a bad place, after ages of things slowly getting worse (Diagnosed with Crohn's and am stuck with it for life). I decided/got pushed with the help of a friend to get help. Seen a doctor today and am planning to try and sort out stuff.

I honestly don't know how to feel. I guess things will get better. I just hope I can prove to my friends that I am better than this atm.

I just want to thank the people of this subreddit for coming forward with your stories and proving that there is hope. I hope things go well. Even if it still doesn't feel like that atm.",3.3679004329004343,4.840384902597407,3.8968181818181833,89.98189393939394,73.35064935064935,6.951515151515152,22.573593073593074,7.492282038375204,0.7381359307359312,601,15,126,7,12,189,96,154,0.065,0.7240000000000001,0.212,0.9698,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,3,10,12,0,0,8,0,9,5,0,1,2,30,26,8,0,5,3,0,2,1,2,1,5,1,0,0,12,13,0,0,5,0,2,4,2,1,1,0,2,4,15,11,28,23,1,22,0,0,1,0,6,11,0,8,10,86,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135849428996739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406267715108121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718355158096715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807436343582982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923930310602156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985094205566699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756846250300606,0.0971846291108283,0.0,0.14902153005019705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102031981350436,0.0,0.21322064681521785,0.0,0.07731277841057796,0.0,0.10880095765019167,0.0,0.1498597364419832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892012522231257,0.0,0.0,0.18236503390201345,0.0,0.0,0.4053453447595876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476219992090634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780424741687698,0.0,0.09608672792955897,0.06646064882258433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741859481593777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431070310091133,0.0,0.14212937335963924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108181825529914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628746003925104,0.0,0.10863906584448338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572944848387693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524429492378164,0.0,0.0,0.27113017008861273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578937265729251,0.0,0.0,0.09235997388753958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802379565847994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231330982087432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863299563115367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheWill2Live,2018/01/31,"I'm having some weird health issues and am freaking out because i've convinced myself I'm going to die. M/26/USA

I've been having some odd medical issues (muscle pains, joint aches, nausea, fatigue, unexpected weight loss) over the past month+.

Been to the doctor once (when the only symptom was back pains) and was diagnosed with stress trigger points. But the fact that more and more symptoms are coming up have me worried that the issue is really something systematic and that I have a life-threatening disease or that I have cancer.

I have another appointment to see a doctor in a few weeks but in the meantime I can't shake the feeling that I am dying and that I am going to go to that appointment and get diagnosed with bone cancer or a brain tumor.

It seems like the universe is foreshadowing my demise. Recent talks with coworkers/friends/family seem to inevitably arrive at a story of someone who has/had cancer. Even the media I consume (podcasts/online videos/tv shows) weirdly have coincidentally brought up life ending diseases in recent episodes. Even as I type this, the video I'm watching just brought up the fact that someone they knew just up and died out of nowhere due to cancer.

I'm walking around all day thinking I better get my affairs in order, and freaking out that come next month I might not even be here. Not sure if anyone can really help me with this, but I kind of needed to vent it all because it's really freaking me out.",8.39899895724713,7.708992883211684,8.020229405630868,72.42036496350366,61.773722627737214,10.164337851929094,35.629822732012514,9.23628265651192,3.235116579770594,1166,44,199,16,14,371,158,274,0.203,0.747,0.05,-0.9915,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,9,16,0,2,16,0,21,19,2,1,5,44,41,16,3,2,10,0,2,1,0,1,16,0,0,0,15,19,1,0,5,2,0,9,3,11,0,0,7,4,18,5,31,32,7,38,0,2,2,0,5,16,0,8,13,132,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897262466111192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266557660890277,0.0,0.0,0.0925137559022264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991059070381443,0.0,0.12670133886400972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191169958762467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160127545962284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904141458402642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702192091289645,0.0,0.0,0.2109598916726732,0.3235678847069154,0.0,0.0,0.21273976985218093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920451836849982,0.0,0.0,0.2059210471561631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796962335378416,0.0,0.052546735007578164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085912533777994,0.0,0.17718599187302014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046559137125124,0.0,0.0,0.06965758675167076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32540672558260697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822010828822116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680817793248124,0.05077166726401031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469177548921356,0.0,0.11024618161440773,0.0,0.0,0.16590114783259988,0.0,0.0,0.07705779838425228,0.0,0.0,0.11052359166913002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067490592230676,0.0,0.07903834055264068,0.22116340292715445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920653387839112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824109448831472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997277507877123,0.0,0.20522341138391487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281340246833795,0.18921570959485312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610772281967965,0.08000522136491772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904377086470727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979464654224272,0.21603216747701054,0.0,0.08352959924942213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658984423999345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336098998296672,0.1265505629893855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553913960261148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JustAnINFJ,2018/01/31,"My stalker has erotomania Hi Reddit. I am pretty sure my stalker has erotomania and I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action for him to leave me alone.  How does the fixation end for someone w erotomania?  
He is someone I know from college and we haven't spoken in years, never been anything others than barely friends. I know he has a history of schizophrenia.   
To make a long story short, he is currently trying to rent the apartment next to mine down the hall. My building management is aware he is stalking me but are worried he will sue them if they reject his application due to fair housing laws. I have made multiple police reports and am having trouble getting a stay away order due to the way the law is set up (doesn't protect you unless youve had a previous intimate relationship w the person or are family).  
I am about to move out of state but have a few weeks left here. I'm worried he will find a way to follow me to my new location despite taking appropriate measures (PO box, deactivated all my social media, etc). I'm going to try to speak w a district attorney tomorrow for a stay away order but I am not hopeful. I just feel so helpless in this situation. Any insight into erotomania is appreciated. ",5.016537602382726,6.3902095864978925,6.675750806651777,72.03154132539092,69.16877637130801,9.120774385703651,32.50657731447009,9.478462496947786,3.2466820054604124,980,44,169,21,17,338,148,237,0.112,0.823,0.065,-0.9057,2,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,2,1,6,7,0,0,15,0,24,0,0,3,3,31,37,11,0,2,9,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,2,7,0,1,6,0,1,4,4,3,0,0,3,2,22,4,31,32,4,36,0,2,0,0,18,13,0,3,11,113,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570583987412614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566971047839372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577066204549218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643538520847503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763881771206488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311321560940156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460396229033732,0.0,0.1568994647314218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326240305603635,0.0,0.07113388365622605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858231308664153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869184381542456,0.0,0.07350140387167857,0.0,0.07995376388650803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973061397988795,0.0,0.16233005072975226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463211652717446,0.0,0.0,0.1489636788216446,0.15285320411890824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450060869907605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311827710478433,0.0939074329539924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952446233407635,0.0,0.0,0.10850390854991447,0.13587315183356427,0.14961866441228544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283954219056847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312585506410025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104159739273793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813432400650312,0.0,0.14340927080669266,0.2384016107606181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29990011795094995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259268106558275,0.0,0.10577660118112912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865449035689306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233362760460436,0.11284794311313535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857421636791577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059566211145444
mentalhealth,beantownbee,2018/01/31,"Thinking of going to the Hospital I've been to the hospital before. The nurse told me to take more walks in parks and referred me to a day program they never called me for. 

Since Christmas, my mental health has been very bad. I've been suicidal, anxious, depressed, all that stuff. This week I've been non-functional in a lot of ways. I'm thinking of going to the hospital again, and I think I want to stay in inpatient because I literally don't know what to do anymore. Right now I'm pretty lucid, but literally, anything can set me off. 

But I'm worried I'm being stupid, that they'll send me home again.  Right this second I'm not suicidal, and even when I am I don't know if I'd do it because I don't want to hurt my family. Maybe I shouldn't go and I should just keep trying to figure out medication. I don't know, I just want help.

*edit: why is this flagged as an announcement??? ",2.1658516483516483,3.9544729890109913,3.9528434065934057,86.9827815934066,77.35164835164834,7.187362637362638,24.561813186813183,8.07648339933343,1.3898670329670328,692,24,146,12,16,233,102,182,0.13,0.795,0.075,-0.9122,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,0,7,4,1,0,7,0,18,2,0,0,2,28,38,9,2,6,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,8,0,0,5,7,4,0,1,5,0,19,0,19,29,3,22,0,2,0,0,6,7,0,2,7,90,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253924163208774,0.1426866072831558,0.0,0.0,0.11839791792013402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201306825959869,0.17541128758088306,0.0,0.12242811577502055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469137663929784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278829686317352,0.0,0.1239204276053042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502892483358136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563375044320802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453046136244968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293375578779295,0.0,0.0,0.09643723650783323,0.0,0.14431963800746944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402253155247858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788384679594286,0.0,0.0,0.23721191945685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231846667666052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445430597562874,0.0,0.0,0.14494021375261187,0.14499344838209405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109662554530301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637389940354206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457391109433183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901594411847664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533529692325779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647039164617868,0.3147545926114889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817705559628626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765703288380715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137479949519877,0.0,0.0976825486231724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871299747276552,0.25458586979665915,0.11420229276004845,0.11540887190326984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982596256834675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611334445125826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComprehensiveVin,2018/01/31,Can sociopaths feel emotions As stated in the title I am wondering what emotions they can feel if they can feel them any help appreciated thanks.,13.127307692307687,9.972849423076925,11.342307692307696,60.052692307692354,54.769230769230774,13.476923076923079,45.23076923076921,11.20814326018867,5.065276923076923,119,5,19,2,1,37,20,26,0.0,0.7120000000000001,0.28800000000000003,0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,2,9,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21191515015428766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7010705898726469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4726996944180532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887514049264985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28690170630148343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33794316482695275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PogoDrogo,2018/01/31,"How can I get my therapist to give me drugs? I'm in the UK, been consistently, chronically depressed for 6 years among other problems, recently been feeling better sometimes but the downs have been worse. I'm seeing a therapist who is teaching me some CBT skills and stuff but I want drugs to help me with my moods I don't want to go back into self harming as much again or try to kill myself. How can I get hold of them on the NHS? I've never had antidepressants or anything before.",4.267142857142858,5.561194166666668,5.123154761904762,82.75875000000002,70.875,7.985714285714287,27.255952380952376,8.418075326091056,1.7950077380952374,384,13,76,6,7,125,71,96,0.189,0.72,0.091,-0.9361,0,0,2,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,1,2,4,6,1,0,4,0,9,3,0,2,1,16,19,8,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,2,11,1,13,15,2,11,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,3,5,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530864227662456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304519791866793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829739761684186,0.0,0.0,0.16452796985675824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022693053231066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43147030501229344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406210169311167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19438546499096354,0.17845644177114148,0.10572484845316762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469164844947014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20581407247365502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675308286824314,0.0,0.14347741407520986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800510186139815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368168249290046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824142134437068,0.0,0.1940693336966066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839879262610121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129592633861492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319891613550773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630181508342514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194500307586693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957994726143487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979689487594215
mentalhealth,emmzizleez888,2018/01/31,TW: self harm I've been clean for a while now but lately I've been under more stress and the urges have started back up full force. Does anyone have any good tips on how to deal with the urges? ,1.156463414634146,3.1111040975609785,1.3587195121951223,103.57759146341465,81.1951219512195,4.1000000000000005,12.689024390243905,3.1291,-1.7958341463414642,152,1,37,0,4,45,35,41,0.139,0.738,0.124,-0.1753,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,3,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,21,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677547667359405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24345672074638175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26773021385855783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35896001530994265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046961275932613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920382671742835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39276409183389777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632294195819317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464447795804019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988409289860985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DIYjackass,2018/01/31,"Can anyone recommend good resources for improving self-esteem, achieving better school/work/life balance, and lessening performance anxiety? I have struggled for the past 10 years with performance anxiety in school. I have avoided challenging classes and not taken the career that I wanted because of my attitudes toward school as threatening to my self-esteem. In my mid-20s I went back to school for challenging technical work and I would eventually like to enroll in a master's program, but I am feeling a lot of resistance to not doing well in classes. I have experience panic attacks and dropped classes several times over the years. I went to therapy and it has gotten better and I was hoping maybe someone out there could share a similar experience that they had. Wishing you all the best!",8.42144927536232,9.964541144927537,8.175507246376814,63.75862318840581,61.46376811594203,11.640579710144927,40.69565217391305,11.429527900616536,5.509747826086957,650,35,90,19,9,208,89,138,0.124,0.6609999999999999,0.214,0.9122,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,10,3,14,1,3,7,0,11,0,0,0,1,20,19,8,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,6,1,14,10,19,11,3,15,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,6,69,17,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050742531553288,0.0,0.0,0.09372104514487192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248523084018026,0.0,0.1030653636620012,0.0,0.08170706442956051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066244877819767,0.2370877917271851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070167908080732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26222573593893866,0.0,0.0,0.06777259816386691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242298646741286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312793096206113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654831894521531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139525622952461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465711653142107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726229493674646,0.0,0.0,0.12795247040183572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5426061050304671,0.0,0.0,0.2796574333722909,0.15142245942686153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356821627918963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401234659226061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532817777665691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781574340071496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905786966242474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051440636550742,0.24850531688232425,0.0,0.0,0.15413471514781624,0.0,0.0,0.19515952012384746,0.0,0.0,0.0952152854935771,0.0,0.0,0.172629500544124
mentalhealth,Faeriiess,2018/01/31,"How to get over insecurities? I (f20) get so depressed whenever I see females from porn, I've been trying to play it off cool for so long but it sucks so bad. It plays up with my bipolar and I get all these paranoid thoughts, it's crazy. Legit had to unsub even from all my nsfw reddit subs.

Maybe it's a sense of jealousy or that I don't feel good enough, especially when people close to me look at that kind of stuff.

So any tips on how to get over this feeling? it's getting kind of ridiculous.",1.4625242718446645,3.4759861747572813,2.861951456310681,92.8892378640777,80.45631067961166,5.285048543689321,21.9504854368932,6.2581,0.19152893203883534,388,12,86,3,10,126,73,103,0.252,0.679,0.069,-0.9736,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,8,11,2,1,1,1,3,2,0,2,2,12,14,10,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,5,7,6,18,11,3,9,0,1,2,1,0,7,1,1,2,54,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397905842521805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767800554843567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235690994436005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876669639987256,0.0,0.1398411982823485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410725588566434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530832522361385,0.0,0.0,0.17758340231260472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44095433168014814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873683982550341,0.17779419147367914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270444462161725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678223100110982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871600443389892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423724469170559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808459692103786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437461770156849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goddamnhypochondriac,2018/01/31,"I feel really sad because of something my boyfriend said in passing ill admit i have a bad case of baby fever, but his statement was kind of taking it too far. 

he said “if you had a sex drive at all, i think you’d be a pedophile.” i was really taken back by this, so i tried to defend myself by saying “i’d never hurt a child” and his response was “well that’s what most pedos think anyway - they think they’re protecting the kid or something”. 

now i feel really bad for thinking kids are cute and i avoid telling him about funny things i see little kids do at the library where i work. it’s kind of getting in my head and i don’t know what to do. 

edit: i’m 20/f",2.082069632495166,3.2419167943262432,3.803417150225663,90.62454545454548,76.09219858156028,6.2620245003223705,22.038039974210182,6.574015621080383,0.3691219858156027,512,13,114,4,11,172,95,141,0.1,0.787,0.112,0.3955,0,1,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,8,9,0,1,6,0,11,4,1,0,2,19,26,7,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,7,3,0,2,9,0,0,2,2,5,1,0,7,6,19,4,14,17,2,12,0,2,1,1,16,7,0,3,3,72,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076953805105754,0.2839944525125329,0.10367008557794437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719800142261826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885197766359604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453582120457273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182058170225954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541931912664633,0.09346331253572908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044987355040025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116466286441422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268441076013615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235416440217536,0.1352425661749507,0.0,0.0,0.13551983898304396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618487924420633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786776456521792,0.0,0.1486443633632077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298367290630056,0.4358833087559773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546301626189814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290891807841345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380939331159035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PeterZBPD1998,2018/01/31,"how to stop trying to unconsciously neutralise ''OCD'' thinking? i have repressed flashbacks. medications have helped me cope with several obsessions and cured my hypochondria, however my flashbacks still remain persistent, maldaptive, and impairing. these cause excessive fixation on my thoughts which just sinks my OCD hole even more deeper leaving me to to feel completely drained and depressed. i wish i could just accept the feeling without fighting it",10.936714285714288,13.75301638571429,8.244285714285716,60.890714285714296,56.57142857142857,11.885714285714286,48.28571428571429,11.602472056035307,6.897942857142858,377,24,44,11,5,109,55,70,0.16,0.728,0.112,-0.5922,1,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,2,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,18,8,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,9,1,7,6,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27509682179590633,0.0,0.0,0.2807755019915783,0.0,0.0,0.2138106431544672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23064941986630785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768745218762168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708080235306869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949577066412234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835537536127397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26977292495969124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025294740537677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385955882818586,0.2238866491000929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715907192259256,0.0,0.21259745397160154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181363320306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30794833529710985,0.2581425615550675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SecretStormX,2018/01/31,"My body just shut down and I don't know why I couldn't move really. Not because anything was paralizing me but because it took to much effort. To much motivation. It's not worth it to move. My legs get heavy and it feels like I'm physically paralyzed even though I know I'm not. I know it's mental because it usually happens when I don't want to do something. It hurts to make myself move. I just want to lay still. When I feel well and want something I can move fine but when I'm called on for chores or I'm having a really bad day mentally everything weighs a ton and I can't make myself speak even though nothing's holding me back.


Does anyone know what this is? I have diagnosed OCD, I'm not diagnosed for depression but it's pretty blatently obvious I have it, and it's possible I may have ADD but that's just a possibility, I haven't been diagnosed on that.",2.2406773743016757,4.121325368715084,4.198823324022346,84.88527409217879,77.43575418994412,8.273882681564245,24.595321229050285,9.017664075816787,1.9051030726256992,687,24,146,17,16,234,90,179,0.09,0.795,0.115,0.7319,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,3,0,15,6,2,3,1,34,34,15,0,4,12,0,2,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,14,6,1,1,7,0,1,5,9,3,1,0,3,3,19,3,11,29,3,16,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,8,92,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784404674219412,0.0,0.0923164683387896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626125848429128,0.09366752854446696,0.2051558531690172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460923749874694,0.0,0.0,0.11455066357584452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234829818001984,0.0,0.0966224443175697,0.3415879970061197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817148032224143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819069261988593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008222111200389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344547577666428,0.08014305231779167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058610617780781776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920243094421252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200934645414626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24660981698336515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054806601665255465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976510297000248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22610673096340475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769280938382878,0.16493378598460084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764193541590042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529373586332266,0.0,0.11412972193503733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373369858690138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272681929812547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958892385956896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22043706598830945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463865490818388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235529464107702,0.0,0.1985040683269466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086535368631036,0.0,0.10122707031958338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MannyMushroom,2018/01/31,"Caring for bedridden depression? I am concerned about my wife. Over the last 18 months she's had several bouts of depression that have put her in bed for up to a week at a time. They seem to be getting more and more frequent. She's not suicidal, but she will self medicate (over taking lorazipan so that she's slurring her words or muttering strangely to our children), sleep for 20 hours a day and lash out at me over my concern for her well being. She's currently the patient of a psychopharmacologist who doesn't so much treat my wife as medicate her. My wife is unwillingly to talk to a therapist despite my pleadings. We have 2 children and the last thing I want to do is break up our family over this. It's a violation of her privacy if I go around her back and let her psychopharmacologist know what's happening and ask for their help, I'm just not sure what else to do. I feel like I'm trying to lead my partner to water, but she's determined to buck and bite me. Any advice at all would be welcome. Thank you. ",5.124884425918908,5.707988945812807,6.020197044334978,79.71346343311863,68.4088669950739,9.792951875710498,30.886320575975752,9.851270322608157,2.7744144751799924,808,31,165,18,13,267,123,203,0.083,0.795,0.122,0.8023,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,1,2,1,7,10,1,0,9,0,15,4,1,1,2,25,28,13,1,3,7,3,1,1,1,2,2,0,1,4,8,9,1,0,3,0,1,3,3,3,1,0,1,1,31,7,32,21,4,26,0,2,0,0,31,12,0,3,11,116,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070885651802014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183875127592137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640467558459114,0.1537483280389621,0.0,0.0,0.12645994094250632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676783980155509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606339016955414,0.0,0.2832991036027049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738560985677994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503868353819775,0.0,0.08315614923195244,0.11749058431492462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592380163930982,0.0,0.09346666848015997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543184019095576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023437856270676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196042345049694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038316690347692,0.2681144476208311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681719612126169,0.0,0.08034707273729172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313532193649549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312707688206536,0.0,0.12089735995930832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653281849377132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971862459037846,0.17156812556530845,0.18579350614128667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457922973867922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798930484360526,0.0,0.15500203569707985,0.0,0.12365379733202315,0.1321870867803374,0.0,0.15141309410076564,0.0,0.1909512679475854,0.10926022081396099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589821582714687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165785576012598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700303936575147,0.0,0.13192025959647466,0.0,0.14786970297493013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682799101965388,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CutePandu,2018/01/31,"Question. Sometimes faces on billboards and stuffs looks weird. Hey, hello. 

Since a month or so, certain things looks weird when i look at them, like they're wrong. I don't know how to describe this.

Im taking Prozac (20mg) and risperidone (1mg) the psychiatrist said that im just ""A little depressed"" but i dont buy that since he often asks me if i hear voices or feel like im being followed or something.

Is this common or anything? should i tell him about it? Helpo ): ",1.3840469208211132,3.9029082258064562,2.04490713587488,95.4600879765396,85.0215053763441,3.8119257086999037,20.282502443792765,4.851557810540192,-0.3563462365591397,367,11,75,1,11,113,71,93,0.121,0.8029999999999999,0.077,-0.4484,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,5,2,1,1,1,16,15,11,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,1,7,8,3,4,12,0,7,0,1,3,0,10,3,0,7,5,40,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367862613282277,0.0,0.15539481172534952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316647025633505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948105449331005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404666456229486,0.11874878551194595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734388891060408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5386437424612311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135107602957092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162415011596489,0.16659776906559973,0.0,0.0,0.4187529855567101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267654137193607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620629829768326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811486090044688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750005459622573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796555299429432,0.16439746979525496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902840299448659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497800009028302,0.0,0.14528505539292388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043028343145944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173728884075224,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neurosthetic,2018/01/31,"I have fantasies about killing my crush. Please help me make sense of my thoughts. When I started my freshman year of college, I met a guy who would be my tutor for chemistry. I never really spoke to him outside of our sessions, and I developed a crush on him. For some reason I started feeling really shy around him anytime I saw him and ultimately had this like-hate relationship with him in my mind: on the one hand, he was someone who I could go to for help in chemistry, but what I hated about him was how intelligent and how charismatic he was to other people, especially females (I'm an openly gay male).

I'm now at a point where I've started picturing these scenarios in which I hurt him physically (I'd rather not describe these fantasies, but they're pretty graphic and involve a knife or a gun). Last night I dreamt that he was attacked by a group of people from my school and it was oddly satisfying. In the dream I vividly recall me seeing him being attacked and asking him if he needed me to help him get medical attention. In the dream I can remember feeling extremely devastated at how much pain he was in. I can't explain why I have mixed feelings of liking and hating toward him.

Someone please help me understand my feelings. Is there a subconscious motive behind these thoughts that I'm not aware of? Additionally, if you'd like anymore details regarding my relationship to him or my thoughts, please go ahead and ask. ",6.907403846153848,7.190670241758242,7.273166208791205,73.30777129120881,64.53113553113553,10.048443223443224,36.11011904761904,9.827888789773867,3.5761283882783883,1148,52,203,22,16,375,153,273,0.133,0.7090000000000001,0.158,0.3322,0,0,0,1,0,0,27.0,1,1,0,2,11,9,5,0,11,0,17,4,1,6,1,44,45,18,1,6,9,0,5,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,12,12,0,0,13,4,0,2,4,7,0,1,13,9,42,2,33,27,2,27,0,1,3,1,36,15,0,5,12,142,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954686413521532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833302140656704,0.2065308033628176,0.2513289106835441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819350343126632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234080399375955,0.07891280859971052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057710909792973386,0.0,0.12555418569470056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093729917609893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21811321201693185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961566483765253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182499581355812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220787568868645,0.0,0.0,0.0900398283457687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189586279024512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373305959650897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127705820475284,0.0,0.0,0.11153334110759223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120097693196432,0.08190485905760585,0.08519373710795143,0.0,0.0,0.10365944073129038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748507088897308,0.0,0.1175374700891466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531584270228412,0.0,0.0,0.3637564776462056,0.10442061889189327,0.0,0.0,0.11237776253997744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141527300469421,0.11357151099881632,0.0,0.2371858915058798,0.12512990482735106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117916474239398,0.08802249998666148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718518461396272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23455295268857765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630792463326144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499299242060572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967317433285937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846777635994398,0.0,0.0,0.0711327649316291
mentalhealth,WisconsinExPat,2018/01/31,"I wish I could always feel the way I do after taking Xanax. Unfortunately it wears off and I find I need more to get the same effect.  Used to take half.  Now it takes one.  Damn anxiety. 

I also wish I could always feel like I’d just had a beer.   ",-0.2493589743589765,1.8170538076923108,2.313076923076924,93.91525641025645,87.84615384615385,5.005128205128205,12.512820512820511,6.42735559955562,-0.9497794871794872,186,2,44,2,6,64,38,52,0.132,0.716,0.153,0.2732,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,3,0,4,3,1,2,0,13,14,2,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,7,1,4,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977864103212992,0.35330622444693505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241122216151296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390133577378434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214693562502314,0.15166931333418002,0.0,0.0,0.19404110567596405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091956065828316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037205272365682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741999242497426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386201456177447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788763280530251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833616365690963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851624807964682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4882759698890661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,utsav3007,2018/01/31,"Is this just teenage crisis, or am I going haywire? While I know this might be sort of asking for validation or may even come off as humble-bragging, I am confused. Pre-Script: I am a high school senior in India for reference. I find it easy to learn stuff I find intriguing, and have immense love for subjects like Astrophysics and Cosmology, but I find it really hard to concentrate for longer periods of time. The Good: I consistently achieve great ranks/positions in most competitive tests, have more than a few medals in a number of STEM related fields. I have an SAT in the 99th percentile (low 1500s), and also 790s on two Subject Tests (Mathematics II and Physics). I also authored my first book in junior year and the second one in sophomore year. The Bad: I struggle in high school, cannot seem to care about school administered tests (sub 75% aggregate scores). I feel like a sociopath at times, for I can manipulate most people into doing what I need of them, but I choose to also humiliate them consistently. I also have inconsistent character, as I might be empathetic/caring one instant but an asshole the other. I get distracted way too often by unusual things, like reading Reddit, Quora, or Facebook. Other distractions include random Rubik's Cube solving urges, craving oddly specific food items, or just aesthetically organizing my stuff. I also seem to have erratic short term memory and forget stuff that popped up in my mind seconds ago (there are too many things in my brain at one time). The Ugly: I am toxic. While I explain subjects to people with patience at first, if they do not understand it at one go, I turn cocky as to their ineptitude. I also feel that I am turning painstakingly elitist, as I look down on people with scores lower than mine (I do not act on these thoughts, obviously. It feels like I maintain a facade of 'nice-ness'). Help me.",7.598859649122808,8.034262774853804,7.743912280701758,69.99955263157895,63.06432748538012,10.69964912280702,34.64385964912281,10.467255456243755,3.736312982456141,1487,60,250,33,20,483,205,342,0.11,0.7879999999999999,0.102,-0.4482,1,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,4,4,14,14,0,4,13,0,22,3,1,1,1,51,43,26,0,2,12,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,17,10,1,0,15,2,0,4,3,6,0,9,2,5,37,8,47,36,6,42,0,1,1,1,8,24,0,16,17,181,54,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091376628988045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4379770829521619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853340075407406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621456695499694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189810620256412,0.0,0.0,0.09306553029345656,0.0,0.0,0.07862920392433108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060289246659390124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846096844357494,0.13042018128945213,0.0,0.0,0.2502834188096951,0.15528458643938972,0.11037552967208468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476897695769405,0.0,0.10375248296518276,0.07656091106300074,0.0,0.1006359673007232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176849987739618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118272251477794,0.1928835996041044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016482419335831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837820542940766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076651787856687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238330951542946,0.0,0.0,0.0925430827188219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19366624233120847,0.09216627075622706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768259016711241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247413397045876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18984512944834744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130419817738214,0.0,0.05847598289859995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771391713663495,0.0,0.16619485106266668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954251488013058,0.3134795557054401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212840832256568,0.0,0.0,0.07246572432078298,0.15967742563932533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857176157416054,0.08916680479669953,0.0950251751562104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245341572932706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175620062525196
mentalhealth,rainspider1999,2018/01/31,"Need some advice. So, my mental health has been declining lately (its constantly fluctuating), and at this point it has been noticed at work in my performance.  Ive been lucky enough to work with some very caring people over the past couple years that have been supportive and have gone well out of their ways to help cover my mistakes on my really bad days, but they dont know the degree to which i am suffering.


I called in sick today.  Im at a point where i cant hide it, and im tired of hiding it.  I just finished 6 months of therapy that i did of my own volitiion because i could feel myself getting worse and didnt want to have another breakdown.  It was expensive.

I guess what im saying is i dont know where to start or what to do.  My parents, the only 2 people i trust live hundreds of miles away.  I dont have much of a support system otherwise.  I need to do something today, to try and salvage my job and emotional state. but im not sure i can even get out of bed.

I cant think straight.  Any advice is appreciated.",3.5352857142857133,4.513250528571433,4.985238095238096,84.2564285714286,72.28571428571428,8.266666666666667,25.904761904761905,8.648137234880735,1.683847619047619,801,25,168,14,15,269,125,210,0.135,0.748,0.117,-0.7226,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,3,6,10,0,0,5,0,26,3,0,0,1,28,41,10,0,5,5,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,11,9,0,0,4,0,1,1,7,3,1,0,8,2,24,7,26,32,5,30,0,1,0,0,6,16,0,5,10,112,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057076486847798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157690949730591,0.1103688908869078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889039932972138,0.0,0.08788340589756401,0.0641623815513059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107476973283138,0.0,0.1073143376735494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374310380354237,0.0,0.08403743558971492,0.11646249305166932,0.0,0.06788067277695094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700737120488056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839754289866193,0.0,0.10875639971886117,0.0,0.06951983783564816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053220016316485735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998263309339114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159500873022016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188098697931252,0.0,0.0,0.07055010940177915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.454773212981972,0.0,0.10444920067948424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569062929841385,0.0,0.11873205895279985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929419637061098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060721357882032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401341960924255,0.0,0.07737442785749074,0.1560902798901182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983334795683474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005105879999685,0.0,0.0,0.1168730583715705,0.0,0.1004776671842415,0.1459409247301886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899971523876792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742895414430654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370288386007703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103032825599751,0.0,0.0,0.0744999268164378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888392009840004,0.09920145347131304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203680976496194,0.0,0.0,0.06744305990569349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097497010282195,0.19953858735363086,0.0,0.0,0.07146113619140937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684627704399693,0.06208203945800715,0.0835464032350304,0.0,0.0,0.094636753598203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532535733718737,0.0,0.10726368755240068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778067452461424
mentalhealth,bowsheron,2018/01/31,"Needing an explanation. Hi in the last year I've had problems with social anxiety, confidence in myself via my personality and looks, etc etc. It's never really been that bad that Ive felt like I needed to go see someone but in the last week it's worse then ever. I took an MDMA based pill last week when I was out and two days after taking it my anxiety around people has hit hard, I don't want to/don't care about communicating with anyone, I'm struggling to get the words from my head to my mouth, I'm getting extremely dry lips that I'm constantly licking, mild dizziness, 0 motivation and all in all I feel like someone has thrown a wet peice of paper over my life and I don't feel like myself at all, please help.. this is driving me insane.",3.3273620309050784,4.900020052980139,4.946639072847682,82.00993653421635,73.63576158940397,7.68233995584989,24.50386313465784,8.344100000000001,1.5011187637969097,592,18,118,10,12,200,102,151,0.139,0.7390000000000001,0.122,-0.1798,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,6,0,9,5,3,1,5,23,27,7,0,4,1,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,5,8,15,4,17,21,5,24,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,0,16,68,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183263934708925,0.0,0.0,0.0997774097136625,0.0,0.0,0.12703102841236213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914645182026595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454896112941808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420530302401395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202808227497708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182908652237707,0.0,0.12907805811810616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430428691662026,0.20388624468035832,0.13701197772493004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910710800400306,0.0,0.08109827757824467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782893113871918,0.0,0.14644880298246996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564712615429677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489525236556503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079146414624884,0.20914437135944694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982996051393585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116167759157738,0.11005710883600227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892847904209673,0.12459795269045855,0.0,0.1566390034805064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365422355511248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141567232396293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371143220039398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546213068447414,0.2418142569499196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491784096970593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729076089584894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585421727542517,0.0,0.0,0.13939472250692192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416668252262545,0.0,0.22892665385243616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542094324294294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189251132352767
mentalhealth,ellegrace1509,2018/01/31,"Using St John's Wort for depression/anxiety Anyone who's used St John's wort for depression/anxiety, how did you find it? How long did it it take to start working?",5.517272727272727,5.747254212121213,6.578333333333338,77.28750000000002,67.48484848484848,11.44848484848485,31.65151515151515,11.20814326018867,3.618042424242425,131,5,26,4,2,44,21,33,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,5,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5091954093518167,0.0,0.0,0.2327075447705128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30418107480742074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945251804790987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23556367391232866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502306846437844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5748796317742718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422886593742653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,What_Am_I_Doing_1234,2018/01/31,"For Those Whose Partner is Depressed My ex was and still is very depressed and has suicidal thoughts. She harms herself. When we were together I had fully committed myself to keeping her happy at all times. Except it didn’t work. It didn't matter if I was wrong or she was she always seemed to turn a fight around to make me end up feeling sorry for her. While you may say this is manipulation I know that she genuinely has depression issues she needs to work out. I felt like I couldn’t take the chance of not taking her seriously. If she actually tried to end her life I would never be able to forgive myself.

After a while everything took a toll on me. I've had my own depression and anxiety issues for a while . I became someone who was constantly stressed out and scared to lose the person I loved. At times I wasn't happy and I felt guilty when I felt this. Selfish. It’s hard to be happy when you’re constantly with someone who is severely depressed. It’s impossible to live your own life when it becomes centered around keeping one person happy. My main priority wasn't making sure I was happy it was making sure she was. Making sure I'd sacrifice my own happiness if it meant she could still be here on this earth.

But I had finally come to the point where I realized that I needed to start focusing on myself. I had finally realized that my life could not revolve around making her happy because she had to work on getting help. Work on wanting to be happy for herself. We broke it off. I felt selfish for doing so but I knew it was the right thing to do.  I loved her and cared about her so much, but I knew it wasn't going to work. The most important thing I learned from this entire situationis it’s not your fault. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is severely depressed and wants to harm themselves it's not your fault. 

You can’t handle it on your own. I tried to take on her issues on my own and felt like I had failed when I couldn’t make her happy. The reality is they have to take the steps to make themselves happy. It's not your job to try and fix everything. Ultimately they have to want it for themselves. I still keep in touch with my ex and when she gets in a place I can't get her out of it still terrifies me but I've learned I can't fix everything. I can be there for her if she needs to talk and remind her her life is not worthless but she has to find her own happiness. I hope one day she will 

tl;dr: It's not your job to fix everything for someone no matter how much you love them. They have to want things to change and make that decision. Your happiness is just as important 




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mentalhealth,throwaway342312357,2018/01/31,"Driving myself crazy I need help. I find myself constantly thinking about past events that I wish I could forget. Events that have happened years ago. I've tried to take steps like removing reminders of said events, writing down what went wrong, what I could have done different, and how to avoid it in the future. Then tearing my notes into shreds of paper and tossing them in the trash. I try to catch myself when they come to mind and tell myself to stop but it doesn't help. The bad thoughts overpower the fight and take over my mind for hours or worse......days. I've tried saying prayers even though I'm not religious, praying to deceased family members to not let a certain event haunt me and protect me from it but that's not working either. 


Just today someone associated with my past I'm trying to forget reached out. I had erased their number from my phone trying to erase them. Missed the call but like an idiot called back the number thinking it was someone else only to find out it was the someone I don't want to talk to or associate with anymore. When asked if I was still around I started lying saying not for long. That I was getting ready to relocate for a job half a country away. Now for the past 8 hours I've been going crazy asking myself why did I do that and worrying if I somehow run into them how I'm gonna respond when confronted with the lie. My crazy mind is now thinking I need to reach out to them in a couple weeks and say yeah plans fell thru to save face and then avoiding all future contact. In a metro area of maybe 4 million people I'm scared to death of running into 1 person. It already happened once a while back and nearly gave me a heart attack.


I have many regrets. Things that have happened to me. Things I've done to others. Things I wish I've never done. Things I wish I could correct. I've learned from mistakes made and would never do them again but I'm still haunted. I can't forgive myself and here I am thinking about going to church to confess for past wrongs looking for someone else to give me forgiveness and wipe things away. I don't wanna to be a liar. I don't want to lie ever again but here I go doing it again as a defense. I'm tired of feeling like I always have to look over my shoulder. These things are even starting to haunt me in my dreams.


I try to be a good person. I try to put others feelings above mine. Everyone close to me tells me I'm a good person but I don't agree. I think I'm a bad person due to past mistakes I can't get past.


Someone please tell me what can I do? Note I don't have insurance or cash to see a professional. ",2.7771212121212123,4.5733362575757575,3.557212121212121,90.45748484848484,75.62878787878788,5.82969696969697,24.0439393939394,6.42735559955562,0.6196921212121209,2056,65,422,15,45,652,245,528,0.16899999999999998,0.7070000000000001,0.124,-0.9794,3,2,0,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,7,2,25,26,6,3,23,1,39,4,3,3,6,91,87,33,1,17,17,0,2,3,0,2,1,4,0,4,25,24,0,5,14,1,1,13,14,17,0,2,15,9,61,9,71,64,2,75,3,2,3,0,35,20,0,6,45,277,86,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431715791297601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761919272113898,0.0,0.05098624136961366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076896986325722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454831100452983,0.11456890404364195,0.06970988681265156,0.11514096215409066,0.09423437005139378,0.10232520023187686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513855942647314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052783538351540434,0.0,0.06621719853039537,0.0,0.1467708380643687,0.06780033044523798,0.0,0.0395177187481337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402000219651482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811876324294727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237586940568144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094396494955923,0.05542732469449198,0.0,0.058551500160041875,0.0,0.0,0.057765220226782064,0.0,0.06196560966555696,0.043775329631541966,0.0,0.0,0.1120096501566998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402798593415825,0.05878117761589712,0.1044730753397398,0.10279019966199296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255753889732216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261192871615672,0.08214354003681112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068832519899232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608066179526843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265849369795022,0.0,0.08980854800866724,0.0,0.0,0.05422701338123798,0.10291221027599892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798049237892646,0.0,0.06212388161222592,0.06155961662780205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185612786765391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087022163559984,0.09451910255433957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525655703598758,0.0,0.0466028855892946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.350967192558853,0.04248081362040087,0.21401410218687675,0.0,0.06726225225507809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159894288749049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058287165849508174,0.1461865456309993,0.0613476055029967,0.0,0.04882875188810147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595932556456784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674242709297951,0.0,0.09786961089868833,0.05122917898292555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214331122725716,0.04925103854562634,0.1606728312111187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442528757330544,0.19631478032224967,0.060203005423253575,0.04864601379583082,0.0,0.07042733444607943,0.05808214217580776,0.0,0.0,0.2912149623942971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228392042234158,0.0,0.04915162251159811,0.0,0.0,0.05680313239767285,0.05529173450124894,0.0,0.21139188669588785,0.0,0.0,0.04460939588471924,0.06222838705498061,0.0,0.04352845674312072,0.13399058678450834,0.0,0.03945950331435137
mentalhealth,Dyekaj,2018/01/31,"Question about therapy [US] I have been going to a therapist weekly for almost 3 months now and I haven't really noticed improvement like I have hoped for. I'm 16 and I'm wondering what options there are for group therapy with others my age, I talked to my current therapist about this and she suggest a IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) through a local psychiatric hospital.

I went in for the first evaluation and it felt all way to hospital-y if you kinda get what I'm saying. It didn't feel like what I was expecting in the interview but I am going to one of the meetings on thursday to try it out. 

My question basically is: is there such thing as group therapy like what you see in the movies. For example The Fault in our Stars had the group therapy scenes where they sit in a circle of chairs and talk about how they felt and what not. Is IOP exactly that or should I look for something else? I guess on thursday I will find out what it's like and I'll come back here and give an update. Thanks",2.9377777777777787,5.042363618090455,4.257345058626466,84.23069653824679,76.1356783919598,8.442322724734785,26.63344500279174,9.150863307647796,2.3423833612506986,796,31,158,20,18,262,118,199,0.028,0.884,0.08800000000000001,0.8837,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,2,2,2,1,11,7,0,0,11,0,14,0,0,1,2,33,32,13,0,4,4,0,3,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,14,12,0,0,7,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,7,6,20,6,28,23,1,27,0,0,2,0,19,11,0,10,14,110,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581473102665067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661279857160476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082315370893388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495978531070707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352959076099425,0.08976039425511526,0.24127668166223395,0.0,0.11483671788502713,0.10687307411118764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564402037843177,0.12052957046795465,0.14281323156932496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841148697146508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479325276018124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455340559652865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550966315720238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002881723009458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304699776762947,0.0,0.0,0.08513990642884993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28150099684689817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049102872790154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999174807749638,0.0,0.0,0.10012233048504872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672720810004584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019764408190284,0.0,0.11567649527933414,0.5747413483592605,0.2917656967054878,0.08347256551533119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530430938912749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511347594973493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973068733220876,0.10078436991918634,0.0,0.0,0.11647363028117134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625600703018936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CleftyHeft,2018/01/31,"Scratching Concerns I'm asking cos I feel better rn but I have started scratching recently to cope with my pain but are there many risks to it?

I don't scratch to the point I bleed but can I know the risks of making it bleed?

Thanks. ",-0.6102083333333326,1.3135067291666689,0.5025000000000013,100.95916666666668,106.70833333333334,2.966666666666667,17.833333333333332,5.033348758259628,-0.6838916666666659,185,6,40,1,9,57,34,48,0.195,0.6940000000000001,0.112,-0.6497,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,2,2,0,4,3,0,2,0,8,11,3,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,6,2,5,11,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297687415762108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119740823070506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783583537870755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938592997374192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354598721333594,0.3576278298566853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753453041216176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334578234908287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482929035241105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496745627663661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247599901516753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Amigors,2018/01/31,Being too Competitive I play alot of video games. That's what my friends and i do. We play video games very competitively but i recently noticed that i get more angry then anyone else when i lose. Whenever i lose i feel like i have failed and im terrible. I cant look at myself when i lose.....i just get so upset with myself. ,0.14804311774461,2.515563671641793,2.635721393034828,89.42515754560532,91.38805970149254,5.96285240464345,17.892205638474298,7.3871296695380915,0.4844872305140959,254,7,55,5,9,87,46,67,0.326,0.544,0.13,-0.9642,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,3,5,9,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,8,7,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,14,4,3,7,2,5,0,3,1,0,4,1,0,1,5,35,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251684087344766,0.22349303576848975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822139778749815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028966390377663,0.15582728608327984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852147397741207,0.0,0.22792078016265185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356105291003334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656399712702448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316858567508928,0.7320723346560822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483347542028025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153703847009166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997451653372906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_--42--_,2018/01/31,"I need help... please... I'm having horrible violent and murderous thoughts. I don't want them anymore, they won't stop...
I have schizophrenia and had a horrible childhood. I'm headed towards a good future now, I think. I hope so. All I want is freedom anymore.
I can't control my mind. I'm worried I might hurt someone...",0.5100000000000016,2.9464580645161327,2.4344516129032283,88.65167741935484,97.38709677419355,5.060645161290323,28.780645161290327,6.742157984588678,1.912607741935485,248,14,46,4,10,82,43,62,0.34,0.514,0.147,-0.9031,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,2,0,2,0,8,1,1,1,1,13,17,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,11,2,1,13,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,27,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635204096678423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621060551304943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19601021526437834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398359665594733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663918367839127,0.0,0.0,0.23210942197429246,0.0,0.0,0.2501726976436104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24791085504159094,0.2359628473618504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328005746156322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25652423260268536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800693096271652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953774276785156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974074367819842,0.0,0.18552577322019467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27567582996679746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23732611829358735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hershculez,2018/01/31,"Is there a name for these mental symptoms? Is there a diagnosed mental condition where someone can alter their perception of reality just by convincing them self something is true?  I’m watching the relationship of a close friend of mine deteriorate because his wife is absolutely certain he cheated.  For clarification he has never cheated on his wife.  She will name specific names of women she is certain he slept with.  She will tell stories of interactions with the women that never happened.  This is most evident because the story changed slightly from time to time when it was told.  It has basically turned into he has slept with pretty much every woman they mutually know.  To her, this is reality.  
   
If he challenges her and asks for proof or denies what she says then she gets extremely angry.  Yelling is very common.  She will put him down and call him a cheater and some pretty hurtful names even though none of that has happened.  Is there a name for this type of behavior or condition?  Where someone believes something so much that is their new reality.  Psychosis seems a little extreme.  

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mentalhealth,SpecificListen,2018/01/31,"wtf is wrong with me I remember wishing I didn't exist since the age of 6. It's a feeling I've never been able to shake. Besides my parents messy divorce when I was a kid, I've experienced minimal hardship in my life. For some reason, thinking about the past, in almost any context makes me depressed. It seems over my lifetime my brain has responded by making sure I'm not very good at remembering things. I forget things constantly: names, words, ideas, even entire vacations. I once forgot that I had taken a week long trip to Paris a year after going until my gf reminded me.


I've been very fortunate in life, had a very caring single mother who worked hard to make sure my siblings and I had every opportunity. I've taken advantage of those opportunities.  I'm under 30, single, in decent shape, perfect credit, net worth over 500k (from my own work) and no issues when it comes to dating. Through my work I've been able to solve complex problems and save lives.


The reason why this is relevant is because if someone had told me 10 years ago where I would be today, I would have though I'd be the happiest person in the world.


But this feeling of not wanting to exist persists. There's a part of me that wants to forget about everyone and everything and return to non-existence. I like guns for recreation, but I've never allowed myself to own one, because I'm concerned that in a moment of weakness I would not resist the temptation. 

My belief in the afterlife and the pain it would cause those around me are the two reasons why I've never attempted to take my own life, and probably never will.


I'm not sure there is any amount of success that could make this feeling go away. Has anyone else experienced this? Any suggestions on what I could do to enjoy this objectively amazing life that feels like a burden?
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mentalhealth,FriendsFan30,2018/01/31,"Is it normal to have an obsession about this? I am in university and I  have a really weird obsession about learning about different electrical grids around the world and the independent system operators. I will talk to my friend for hours about the various topics such as the politics of the systems, different fuel mixes and the sort and how the weather effects it. My friend is a really nice guy and talks to me about it but I think it is unhealthy to be so interested and talk for hours about it. 

Do I have a mental disorder?",5.636157142857139,6.999856130000001,6.855428571428572,71.35700000000001,67.7,11.314285714285715,31.285714285714285,11.20814326018867,3.9749714285714286,423,17,75,14,7,143,59,100,0.125,0.773,0.102,-0.3449,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,2,11,0,10,0,0,3,0,15,11,10,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,4,16,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,62,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339604821161573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304813547156309,0.2361097772576396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183316557294692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398615015715826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057643857192115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076135559061651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184988080847135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639555588639357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967585067209005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200538844783755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sorkeysork,2018/01/31,"How do I explain to my girlfriend how depression works? I hope all of this makes sense, apologies if it's a little bit of a read. 

I have been dating the love of my life for a little over ten months now. We're currently living together, and everything is going very well, except for one thing - my mental illness. 
I have been diagnosed clinically depressed for about five years now, this has been an issue that I've carried my entire life, it's not something that somebody can all of a sudden fix. Currently I am prescribed medication to help with thoughts, although I am not able to refill my prescription due to finances, which is making things go slowly downhill more than usual. 

The problem that is here, is that whenever I have ""one of those days"" or fall into a more depressive state; she gets frustrated (which I completely understand, it must be difficult to live with somebody who is damaged).
She gets frustrated when I don't tell her whats going on, but when I do tell her what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling, she always blames herself, and says something along the lines of ""I've tried so hard to help you and it's clearly not working, I just don't know what to do or how to help you"". I can't find the words to explain to her that a chemical imbalance is not something that can be very easily fixed, especially by one person. She just always, always blames herself. She will often get upset or frustrated at the fact I feel this way the majority of the time, and she'l get short or blunt with me, and sometimes leave the room all together., which makes me feel worse as I've dropped her mood. 

 I guess I'm just worried that shes going to get fed up, realise I'm too much effort and leave. The thought terrifies me. 

I just want to know a way of explaining to her how this mental illness works, so she doesn't constantly blame herself or get upset when I'm not in a good place. 

Apologies for such a long post, I didn't intend it to be this big. A huge thank you to everybody who read the whole thing, I hope you understand what I'm getting at.

Thank you again, it means everything./",6.087098540145988,6.1339376885644805,6.334005474452558,80.1523950729927,66.2749391727494,9.672384428223843,32.210158150851576,9.408791572840183,2.7323632603406325,1654,62,324,29,24,531,199,411,0.136,0.767,0.097,-0.9419,2,0,3,0,0,0,50.0,0,5,0,4,23,19,3,2,21,0,31,9,0,9,6,66,73,26,0,6,17,0,4,0,1,2,7,1,1,1,31,12,1,0,15,2,1,5,10,11,1,5,7,5,45,7,43,61,9,42,0,4,0,1,36,14,0,10,18,224,76,6,0.08551002734022832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134535784376158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335480295261774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965563676987814,0.09240596156103767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514689356638563,0.0,0.22094898374720456,0.08679087777839685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370179771001002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297093173361905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815461584420699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127282199233061,0.0,0.19438927646722048,0.07172175393721535,0.0,0.0,0.09419893560098642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660018861578022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194670655641384,0.0,0.0,0.16986150264562114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925025234063406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398814949156103,0.0,0.0,0.18108554456009365,0.0,0.0,0.12079652228469175,0.0,0.17140702337025002,0.1510138415154918,0.07567368335246655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717613820892139,0.0,0.17123582173753998,0.0,0.0,0.09314548789701564,0.0,0.08614235643414195,0.17234799077175547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825328800972298,0.0,0.0628597090049155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383142262792106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466405759797719,0.08933977868896373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189496903717762,0.0,0.0,0.08182154778315588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710663351360669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800100586213642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748939006538985,0.08457160352522332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947906580475984,0.15745228908077918,0.0,0.0,0.17042718770261128,0.054791372776045004,0.0,0.13577082029079948,0.04986158459551132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058055695538403236,0.0,0.0,0.1780379082685223,0.0,0.0,0.0941772143495943,0.1411094557804194,0.0504360296136808,0.1357477590770428,0.0,0.0,0.07688378392030998,0.0,0.0,0.09546889178623937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675695496958974,0.08683958351950499,0.08714202318570458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506565405073503
mentalhealth,UK_Alex,2018/01/31,"I survived my suicide attempt... I've been reading through accounts of other people who have survived attempts and it's inspired me to share my own, hopefully it might help someone.

The basic backstory for it is that since the age of 13/14 I've wished to have not been born and for my life to be over.

Eventually I reached a point where everything was too much, and I mentally broke. I did an awful thing to alienate all the people who otherwise would have been hurt by it, my memory of that time is still broken and hazy, and I'm not sure I'll ever understand what was going through my head. I probably hurt them more than if I'd have just gone straight for the attempt but at the time I wasn't thinking properly.

I ended up stabbing myself in the neck, in an attempt to sever my carrotid artery.

After 30 seconds I realised I'd missed the spot and went for another attempt but I was already too weak to do anything else, so I spent the next 12 hours outside in the middle of the night, fading in and out.

When I woke up and the sun was up all I could think about was getting a drink, I remember a raindrop hitting my lips and it being the most euphoric sensation I've ever felt, eventually a guy walked by and I shouted asking for a drink and he ended up called an ambulance.

Turns out I was scarily close to death and by rights shouldn't have survived.

I was emotionally numb for a few days, angry that I'd failed, then after speaking to my family who hadn't been a part of my life for a long time, started to hate myself for trying.

I got help and spoke to professionals, ended up in a psychiatric unit and spent a month getting used to who I was now.

For the first time I can remember, I'm happy to be alive. I've been having dreams where someone is trying to kill me and the weird part is I like them because I desperately don't want to die and it's still a new feeling.

I'll never stop hating myself for the way I hurt and alienated the people who cared for me at the time, and I wish I'd have gotten help sooner, it's the single biggest regret I'll have for the rest of my life.

Depression is absolutely terrifying, and the help I've been given has undoubtedly changed my life for the better, don't be like me, get help before you end up hurting the people who care about you.

I'm not looking for kind words or anything like that by sharing this, I just hope that someone who reads this might get help and have a better life because of my own mistakes.",7.810484546883185,5.8208073594377545,8.01900646062511,76.13515191199579,63.759036144578324,10.829544264012572,35.90920202549327,9.318704503766252,3.07606677143356,1947,71,391,27,23,640,227,498,0.151,0.6679999999999999,0.181,0.9316,0,0,2,0,0,3,40.0,0,2,2,12,15,31,3,0,37,1,45,12,3,1,7,63,83,27,4,11,9,0,2,3,0,4,7,3,0,1,24,23,2,1,8,5,3,4,9,16,0,2,27,6,47,15,62,46,12,61,0,9,1,0,25,24,0,7,35,271,71,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053437994949761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652507148395342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011135359410242,0.0,0.06822571578678246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897490579706127,0.0,0.06209993791289704,0.0,0.0,0.12908837247937974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451993942567305,0.0,0.14881434969091706,0.0,0.07720233416512366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058267965856617324,0.0,0.0,0.04706555710483463,0.0,0.06285689207673957,0.0,0.07574090460520509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298369702658242,0.0,0.0,0.060964770744740285,0.08209179562317508,0.25855169711303666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320277585962638,0.0,0.0,0.06558901389910457,0.0,0.06879831016018245,0.0,0.03690048455021076,0.0,0.0700714923341657,0.0,0.0,0.06207608411818597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251451367920835,0.0,0.04147577043991549,0.0,0.05836814606736344,0.0,0.0,0.07226089793033529,0.0,0.07768773281295496,0.0,0.14410373435935106,0.07489773044613662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29349858217043884,0.0,0.0,0.14496965714046248,0.07186982752905348,0.0,0.3125030418395995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074069008481694,0.07599662345026242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577368936843006,0.10696187631032808,0.0,0.0,0.06458430991894798,0.06128416142136905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354588515313913,0.1548388314058137,0.0,0.0,0.05825131420226401,0.0,0.053648121089589086,0.0,0.05628607065000536,0.07048378188168901,0.0776142244847822,0.06848605076624688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805875899820288,0.0,0.20237839861697365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898894838735542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868393848446552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459979310596919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534245127939975,0.0623238519834519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244574173068724,0.0,0.06036916188421983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855051594778399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051655064931466835,0.0,0.11656259284444907,0.061013892634390665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982741764519073,0.0,0.06878204770566211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848414852462885,0.09352427008926238,0.0,0.0,0.21277383959012627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909619479597084,0.0793804308438895,0.0,0.07597393793677873,0.0,0.06303061124384085,0.0,0.0,0.04304503261033647,0.05792750500989492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676524646737715,0.0,0.0,0.16784499426187002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518423413959194,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sleepystuff,2018/02/01,"Isolation and loneliness causing me to think obsessively about the past I have Social Anxiety Disorder and finding a job has just been really difficult. I'm alone nearly all of the time and I am totally ashamed of my life. I have just too much time to be alone with my thoughts and I have spiraled a few times into really obsessively thinking about the past. It's been awful. Lately, it's been a fixation on my first love, someone who prior to this, I had been over for years and years, even ignoring him when he repeatedly contacted me several years ago. I have had two long term relationships since then. 
That was socially the best time of my life. I had him and a really strong group of friends who I loved very dearly. He was protective and experienced and I think my brain just misses that. But it was a long time ago and I feel silly for obsessing about it now. I have a therapist and we have been talking about it, but I'm still really embarrassed. I just feel like i'm crazy, i'm an adult who is fixating on something that happened a decade ago and i'm not entirely sure why it's popping up now. ",3.6331233998975954,5.508220364055305,4.990007680491555,80.75897977470561,73.47004608294931,9.614848950332822,27.723758320532518,9.994966539143718,2.8843294418842813,877,34,173,26,18,292,115,217,0.154,0.762,0.085,-0.8369,1,3,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,3,14,17,0,5,12,1,21,5,1,1,3,33,36,15,0,0,7,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,13,14,0,2,7,0,0,0,1,8,0,2,12,3,22,9,20,23,6,31,0,1,0,2,18,6,0,0,26,120,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30848687067845754,0.0,0.0,0.2402866030054233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874137046325838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173715895813116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294968266910822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916622035762195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294857861299292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661836335276748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730840216907998,0.0828719995045144,0.0,0.0,0.10602391518713376,0.09867141759221433,0.0,0.0,0.08962301698877267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258036810797044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511429052073015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085554163653512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638715780926224,0.05667281859988335,0.0,0.0,0.20531660475827485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093930407960594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527496916510102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214744640619135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972559355698853,0.0,0.0,0.12454295717099333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104947463374594,0.0,0.09595822395351046,0.0,0.0,0.2364992820561899,0.0982882931291186,0.08930416592152217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263951195994023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109330706799927,0.0,0.0,0.09323817950211503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346875026199741,0.0,0.22298858989112214,0.0,0.09209279439165899,0.3382090973864364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331729997416964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571396909933584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467394838049653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22410485311976328
mentalhealth,RobSka17,2018/02/01,"Forever in pursuit of something unattainable. I'm 21 going on 22 and for some reason I just really don't cope well with time progressing. I'm constantly looking back selectively at points in the past, points that made me happy: certain childhood memories etc. I don't want to let go of them and move on with my life. I feel as though I'm doomed to spend my life pursuing anything I can possibly recover of those happy feelings despite the fact that those moments are already behind me.",6.3053623188405785,7.3228689565217415,6.679130434782612,74.48688405797105,65.95652173913044,10.046376811594204,35.98550724637681,10.125756701596842,3.878842028985508,392,19,67,9,6,127,67,92,0.08,0.8190000000000001,0.101,0.4589,0,0,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,2,2,13,15,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,1,3,2,1,1,0,1,3,9,4,15,13,2,16,1,1,1,0,1,7,0,1,6,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093134687554881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608814566812454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458500322000981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497363186258408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154017843160916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918129480802216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155958085361581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4038297394237428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939577527492692,0.2679491828317576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928104760876155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794771202021505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201596809117134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106831689247915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586124609590611,0.21383250458826733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151204918344867,0.1950197168257089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460227487930737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635685206438848,0.0,0.11060228054890728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118765065803283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054255110017502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lil_esketit,2018/02/01,"I‘m paranoid Hi,
I am not depressed in any kind of way but today I found something out that makes me paranoid af. I found out that some people in my school know about an embarrassing video of mine. Knowing that changed completely how I feel about them. I thought nobody would know about it and I felt normal as always. I never got picked on for it and there was no sign of them knowing it exists. But knowing that they know it and think about it when they see me, talk to me... it fucks with my mind and I‘m probly have trouble sleeping tonight. 
Pls help me cope with that :^)",2.3439234449760766,4.554221175438599,2.5290111642743227,95.38959330143541,78.47368421052632,4.847208931419458,22.64433811802233,5.565023196281405,0.06508070175438617,450,14,95,2,11,136,74,114,0.142,0.77,0.087,-0.7845,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,4,0,7,5,1,1,1,0,4,2,1,3,1,32,22,9,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,12,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,3,18,1,17,15,1,10,0,1,1,1,7,5,1,1,4,64,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171105576447265,0.0,0.0,0.11581622542623447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016475250717734,0.0,0.1785661552487218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668722813684118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861135448594632,0.0,0.1635237225754328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734709113523621,0.0,0.1574482868190416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621197732231116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141547942165553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735102187471213,0.5615855209436925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368284036622905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196393425191475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135310088643448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686704219119075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807108714368865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236219516618606,0.1357145338790989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043238550531534,0.0,0.0,0.13111248906341247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368882365578134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912738038468722,0.0,0.13520663199638644,0.0,0.0,0.1614333880610641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518366661225525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209829043123395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,machinegunsun,2018/02/01,"NJ therapist (near Princeton)? Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I'm just fucking exhausted after a stressful day at work and have been searching for a local therapist for 2wks with Saturday availability with no luck and I'm like fuck it, maybe reddit can help.  

I just moved to NJ for a new job and it's stressing me the fuck out, and I need to find a regular therapist anyways for my issues (I also see a psychiatrist but do not need to find a new one).  My insurance is Cigna, I deal w a lot of anxiety and stress and other shit.  Does anyone have any reccs for a good local therapist that takes Cigna?  Thank you!!",4.0153244444444445,5.164966568000004,5.308266666666668,81.74257777777778,71.32,9.075555555555557,27.488888888888887,9.444778638647367,2.3241022222222214,491,17,99,11,9,164,82,125,0.201,0.7040000000000001,0.095,-0.9026,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,4,13,4,3,10,0,7,5,1,0,0,20,17,9,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,9,0,1,1,1,8,4,16,16,1,13,0,0,1,3,3,6,4,3,6,63,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582981133128808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149004287991828,0.0,0.09167134736857924,0.0,0.0,0.083789499198755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728189124342727,0.12354179347765867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486601421628136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190490209416054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33234896743613884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050961040790693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032103482409086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507374121688694,0.11891502304195915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585439870164884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187709828005516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038760707667505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736272312596206,0.0,0.177708197947034,0.0,0.2314694779315214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120143752702598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251992018741895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476617595687745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549079280156493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300608810935415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414239908400727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118023309924345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009894273578814,0.0,0.0,0.11032544078046212,0.0,0.556537938254812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723930911018693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101775967283558,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cadhunter,2018/02/01,"Feel so much better on Effexor. Hello, mr. Hunter here. I have never felt this good in years. Ever since 2011 I took a lot of different medicines and also abused drugs for a variety of reasons (depression and anxiety mainly).

About 20 days I go I decided to quit doing drugs, alcohol and quit smoking, it was a lot hard and I did need family and spiritual support to accomplish it. Also, I have been taking venlafaxine (Effexor) @ 75 mg for the last 8 days and it has been a wonder. I also take Zyprexa @5 mg and clonazepam 0,8 mg.

Today, I no longer crave drugs or have overwhelming anger or suicidal thoughts. I am far more optimistic, my social anxiety lessened, my coping resources are greater, overrally my quality of life improved much and I wake up ready for my day.

The negatives.. I take a bit more time to sleep than usual (mild insomnia), and I am not eating much (low hunger).

That's it people, within 8 days, Effexor has given a turn-around in my life, and I think there's much to happen still. I wish you all the best. Cheers.",3.2668181818181807,5.474290530303033,4.671717171717173,81.16090909090913,75.51515151515152,8.642424242424243,26.656565656565647,9.2995712137729,2.569856565656566,807,31,150,21,18,268,127,198,0.09,0.752,0.159,0.9354,1,0,4,0,1,0,40.0,0,1,0,5,9,9,1,1,9,0,13,11,2,1,3,27,28,16,1,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,10,3,0,7,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,8,3,20,5,17,20,13,21,0,3,0,0,4,7,0,5,12,101,26,1,0.0,0.1302038078581129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744090900708272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26364128713137785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681338453213254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782699628087102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532465944166626,0.09719036273081104,0.11997337880385035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834844675341936,0.0,0.0946496423145409,0.0,0.0,0.11481353687119157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382318782832741,0.11244674116650084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994034203239843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359620454279203,0.0,0.05556459361125728,0.0,0.10551335687704426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245403975852502,0.09217202416412792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717695171053843,0.0,0.09844146369107293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957648027810447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552396498935859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868521492886369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231324555962789,0.08148337382297262,0.08475532719323603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618513423277624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23376690242023376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298706807916832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090362870938827,0.0,0.1099711578968788,0.11202084636585384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775972972473156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020378795990085,0.1247039070938802,0.0,0.0,0.24787486171627224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041422522823819,0.0,0.08724181048041528,0.06407878959879232,0.0,0.10416457268761116,0.0,0.12209382808461977,0.0,0.11953071712447312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103028718929412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637014133451735,0.0,0.11917296439399568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076671326555846
mentalhealth,Nick323,2018/02/01,"Too depressed to pick up my medications. Photo:  https://i.imgur.com/nafXd5W.png

Please advise.  I'm having brain zaps because I haven't taken my Wellby in 2 days. ",6.094615384615384,9.95115423076923,5.098846153846154,70.08365384615385,83.61538461538461,5.676923076923077,21.884615384615387,7.1686216300943375,1.5575692307692313,134,4,17,2,4,40,24,26,0.129,0.7809999999999999,0.09,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,3,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,9,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27274445397253577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4994712082744401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28855034031169063,0.0,0.3853641328260262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4507308509481239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911352778745654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YRAURBEF123456789,2018/02/01,"Please Help Me Hello, 

First time on Reddit, I need help supporting my partner. I do not want to reveal too many details to protect his privacy but I need help. My partner recently revealed to me that he has been struggling with profound anxiety, shame, and depression for the last year. He has struggled with mental health in the past and we have worked through it - but he just let me know a few things he has been keeping from me for years that shocked me.

I don’t want to share the details of what he shared - I’m sorry. But they were rooted in severe depression and were dealing with his professional career and personal affairs and were not relationship/infidelity related. He was very ashamed, and very apologetic but had been dishonest with me and with himself for over 5 years. 

I am hurt that he lied to me - but more than anything I just want him to be happy. I love him so much, we have been together for over a decade and I know his heart. He doesn’t keep lies for nepharious reasons, but how can I help him if he doesn’t share with me?

He is planning to start seeing his counselor again which I encouraged and he was open to. He has never seen a psychiatrist which I also encouraged in case medications are indicated. 

My questions 
How can I best support him? He is so ashamed and so full of guilt for lying to me. He keeps apologizing,  but I don’t want to dwell on the past. I just want him to be happy - that’s all I want for him. I don’t care where he works, how much he makes, or anything else. Should we see a counselor together? Or should I let the counselor and him deal with the issues so he can keep some privacy? 

I do not see him differently after this, he is still my partner, and my best friend. How can I support him while still helping him to push through this?

I am sure I am missing some info so feel free to ask more - I will answer as many questions as I can without revealing too much.

Thank you so much. I have never personally dealt with mental health issues, and I feel woefully unequipped.",3.457575757575757,5.312385767676768,4.257171717171718,85.91409090909094,73.89898989898991,7.527272727272727,27.40404040404041,8.296473431620573,1.814455555555556,1588,61,319,27,33,509,177,396,0.168,0.6409999999999999,0.191,0.9444,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,3,1,1,6,21,30,0,7,10,0,43,5,1,7,4,80,74,37,0,11,17,0,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,5,11,25,0,5,12,0,1,1,11,12,0,1,11,6,59,19,45,56,13,28,0,4,4,1,63,10,0,7,17,231,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634057191869372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060654274781427577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304927546487784,0.0,0.074122564807554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664134563622491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808382964697013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634826606934472,0.1365794115262966,0.0,0.0,0.08283795330682947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623404559985775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017969546998968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744141142365008,0.0,0.0,0.06125687569168482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688047957804141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855657111297007,0.0,0.09395537885244358,0.2657217471322373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487828491130686,0.0,0.0,0.1655098847234888,0.0,0.2818954207411294,0.0,0.0,0.08714803252516935,0.06462941995239259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215248975763502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715595385075853,0.0,0.052924633027263086,0.16076897930855516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987322785827783,0.15980512848349165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233140028589452,0.11758048919968413,0.12230191714092213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513766682907217,0.0,0.13846055604262889,0.0,0.08703322587392337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763898626859015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152015628887202,0.07828626567236596,0.08512447697062113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954422353132205,0.0,0.0,0.08957164852088867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875521269659065,0.056119688212385534,0.0,0.1266372692849496,0.0,0.0,0.16577580217168106,0.0,0.0,0.2699215627668915,0.074726981312916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299674099449177,0.0,0.0,0.05267470483398147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046232839135494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308400208801333,0.2805928687599989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642975899856592,0.0,0.11544364031731988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531745258160676
mentalhealth,thisishistorycreate,2018/02/01,"EH YOU OKAY? Eh You Okay?
Is a campaign created by Chantalle Vella in 2018 in purpose to spread Mental Health Awareness & Break the Silence In Canada.

Boss or Employee, People are People, So Treat Everyone With Respect.

Show Your Support By Following My Instagram Account @ehyouokay",5.236875000000001,8.797568937500003,5.4758333333333375,70.05250000000001,78.375,8.200000000000001,37.16666666666667,8.841846274778883,4.688641666666667,231,14,29,6,6,73,41,48,0.0,0.723,0.277,0.9285,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,7,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971567483419821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502542124171387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896254862801201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693961646485249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082392040095637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159565715578228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eternallyenchanted77,2018/02/01,"The face swap/life swap mental fuck up I would rather do a life swap with Paris Hilton....spoiled rotten rich from birth.If only I do a virtual thing with Michael Fassbender,Taron Egerton or Dan Stevens in my bed.Then I wouldn't need to see a therapist anymore.Age old sad story.Father paranoid schizophrenic.Mother naturalized US citizen,blind in one eye.Family of 5 living off $10,000/yr.In 2008 we got evicted twice because one of my two brothers couldn't take our nothing life anymore & got into too many physical altercations with management.Maybe it was the pot,or maybe it was the *poverty*.I'm the oldest in yrs but youngest in mentality/power thanks to social anxiety & possible Autism (undiagnosed,but undergoing testing).This year my 74 yr old father will die,most likely,leaving my mother with *nothing*....not even a life insurance policy.Then she will call me yelling why I don't *come home & take care of her* & that I'm a bad daughter for not giving her a Malibu beach house.I guess she often chooses to forget that two weeks every month when our food stamps would *run out*.Moved out for good back in 2012 after I woke up & said.......*I'm done.*

My *fondest* memory as a girl/teen was hearing my father's term of endearment for my mother.It was especially prevalent around tax time when he would say why he wouldn't help file their taxes:

""I'm not going anywhere with *that white woman* because of her white privilege.""-my fathers own words

See when you need a caretaker & cant write your own name like my poor mother......white privilege takes a backseat.

I want a *life swap* with Cleopatra,Aphrodite or a British royal like Kate Middleton.She's a lucky little bastard.I'm in California,USA by the way.


So......when should I end my tormented existence?
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mentalhealth,Jwaggin,2018/02/01,Seeing a new therapist tomorrow and was wondering What if I showed up with my face painted like a kitty and answered every question sanely/rationally?,14.033076923076925,11.10359,13.611538461538462,43.78346153846158,52.84615384615386,16.553846153846155,52.92307692307693,14.554592549557764,8.054507692307691,124,7,15,4,1,42,24,26,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.3612,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,3,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357997203961889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471380836657207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849268376270231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464727382892684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31759668034053257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462752995570469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322158233792468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Onetr1ck_Zilean,2018/02/01,"Why can't I concentrate for over 2 minutes anymore? (with TL;DR) I am 17 years old and I'm missing one ability. My concentration. I am a very strategic and I believe smart person. I play table tennis and because of the lack of physical skill, I used my good strategic skill. I got a very good gameplan and I knew where to hit and place the ball everytime. I played hearthstone and was really good at remembering something. Nowadays I lost these abilities and I am just feeling lazy in my head. I can't concentrate over 2 minutes anymore. I am not an expert, but could it be that i do not have enough sleep? I can tell you sth when i was 15. My week was literally going to school and playing football, drums and table tennis. In free time i played a lot video games with my friends.
TL;DR : I lost my ability to focus on sth over 2 minutes.
So if you have specific questions, i will answer them all, no matter how deep the questions goes. I hooe i can answer them quick. ",2.36042105263158,4.697978831578947,3.774210526315791,85.81447368421055,79.10526315789474,6.526315789473685,26.315789473684212,7.669130373188453,1.6225263157894745,758,31,146,12,19,249,113,190,0.067,0.75,0.183,0.9549,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,2,6,6,13,0,0,7,0,17,2,2,2,1,30,27,14,0,3,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,0,7,8,1,1,5,3,0,1,7,1,31,11,15,16,4,17,0,3,0,0,10,10,0,4,6,98,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091587075975675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950157972060299,0.0,0.0,0.17561006577739985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444806044679366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610534984940084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788116362792006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042337098724057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858347997740777,0.3922045085597037,0.12466202420439562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996572299820422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402970668813694,0.13251355468151446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355743745982687,0.0,0.10562031421797688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609808465700504,0.1628490756384782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492160725416095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985314880600347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656826584502225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774692187961015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598074842421653,0.0,0.0,0.11999494175498215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362356614871236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908879905503042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462006443427324,0.0,0.25721514844684423,0.0,0.0,0.12502805400686026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406467907691937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037399905377398
mentalhealth,El_Kiki,2018/02/01,"Morality and stress I am a 17 year old from spain who is struggling with Depression.  Personally, I have been feeling depressed since 2015 but this year is getting worse due to fear of failing final exams meaning I cant go to British Unis.

Anyways, I know depression makes you more closed off from the world, and I myself am cynical and sarcastic. I also often tell myself that I have a loose set of moral values, but it could just be self deprecating humour and edgyness. The point is I am worried I am losing my humanity. I dont feel much anymore except really numbness or some fear. Either I am indifferent or my mind comes up with extremely bitter and often evil or just selfish thoughts. These include wanting to murder people for just me finding them annoying, mentally undressing women and having sexual fantasies.

Should I be worried by the pervasiveness of thoughts ? I have never taking any medications, nor taken part in any therapy. Mostly I keep my illness to myself, and many would never guess what I think or feel, as they see a wise, smartass yet funny person ?

If you guys could give your opinions, it would help.",7.776731391585763,8.221420475728156,7.945776699029127,68.67102750809065,62.68932038834952,10.555987055016182,36.098705501618134,10.317481424215053,3.9655093851132683,902,39,143,19,12,294,142,206,0.328,0.594,0.078,-0.9967,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,2,2,8,18,5,4,6,0,22,3,0,1,2,49,41,17,1,7,12,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,7,11,0,1,9,1,0,2,5,16,0,0,4,5,27,2,18,30,6,17,2,5,1,0,15,6,0,11,8,111,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841574149035452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673780399375465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204828630067273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601036047159423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651618586457306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179893918886257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423229732923973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769666635341021,0.18667742318840075,0.0,0.0,0.13481265847907425,0.11247998675577962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429684406475747,0.11805600803994228,0.06994117687841983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557094375498555,0.1218545717158068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248846668557076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093866105878399,0.0,0.0,0.06763379037704416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767924308880305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214743195525613,0.12476948854290887,0.0,0.13405482365752716,0.0,0.1239759290754946,0.12402146379962785,0.0,0.1242614588288712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046758351981757,0.0,0.1898319901652576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291369414034799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326835768236742,0.0,0.08531838724096978,0.214912762836534,0.0,0.0,0.11633703703723253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883915538528198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806757467756247,0.0,0.12838455475075944,0.0,0.0,0.10180136943960727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097155220299956,0.12865518048761052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253022763642328,0.0,0.1075650053446712,0.0,0.1407365615328977,0.0,0.0,0.07885564809717296,0.0,0.1954011276643287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258744581726995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24995875416040045,0.12541464772008626,0.17484494348892982,0.0,0.0,0.1585007864582605
mentalhealth,swingsandwhatnot,2018/02/01,Time to talk campaign I've never been an open person I find it extremely hard and I have been like that all my life. The very few people who have felt comfortable around have ended up using my deep feelings as a way to hurt me. So now this makes it even harder. I can't talk about it with just anyone and I don't want it to be used against me. I just wish all this posts and talk of it on social media made me feel like I'm not alone but I still do. Does the campaign help you ? ,0.6173076923076906,2.3860399615384646,2.0813846153846143,98.66361538461538,82.07692307692308,4.929230769230768,16.16923076923077,5.6839178017228535,-0.8455430769230765,372,6,90,2,10,120,73,104,0.046,0.831,0.123,0.7758,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,0,9,1,0,4,3,23,19,6,0,2,4,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,4,12,3,11,14,3,12,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,7,60,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109488728239968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901244834359407,0.0,0.0,0.16425144767853614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614644003299834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634195317729381,0.0,0.0,0.12186594945810265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865858155169208,0.1318127203606506,0.1771568409063519,0.0,0.16863718466623578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528313796356925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236719810386576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751988227220668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032362334279554,0.1802828080611079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458615372274605,0.1231606799756646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230412584669275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791477879367313,0.16110547448892393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767078868929256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880829104978276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734851526850826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4449021921202328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075882359392038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31871174985410505,0.0,0.15223861761428165,0.10882773778516963,0.14645404924730218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121753651511673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ttngummybear,2018/02/01,"I'm genuinely worried that I'm developing depression, but I'm also afraid I may just be craving attention. I'm an 18 year old woman. For three months or so, I've been getting down in the dumps really easily. My diet has gone all to hell and I can't sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and after I fall asleep, I'll stay that way for hours and hours until something physically makes me wake up. Things have been particularly bad the past week. I have near constant thoughts about death and feel awful about the slightest mistakes. Things that made me happy a month ago do hardly anything for me now. I had a panic attack in the shower the other day. It's starting to scare me. I was bullied severely in middle school to the point of suicidal thoughts, but since I met my boyfriend, they haven't come back. I'm worried they might if this funk I'm in gets any worse. What is this, and what can I do about it?",2.509238187078111,4.6166211967213115,3.632279009964641,88.1940694310511,77.46994535519127,6.491674702667954,23.33301189328191,7.5105763829236425,0.985623850851816,721,23,147,10,17,233,119,183,0.307,0.654,0.039,-0.9963,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,8,10,3,3,11,1,16,4,3,2,1,21,33,13,2,2,5,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,12,6,1,0,4,0,0,3,2,9,0,1,9,2,16,1,21,21,1,32,1,1,0,0,4,9,1,4,18,92,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600846157277507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367826299836085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966676903309994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697832524073425,0.0,0.0,0.1617175112097692,0.0,0.10930549805717116,0.11869031404407035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245067156682475,0.0,0.15361494667748132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167576389574596,0.0,0.12243461995811868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187591770620409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853626948031376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132259531301007,0.12733955354087825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199708924153809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450690217639627,0.09488702958524976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507999588556285,0.0,0.0,0.22692746271031025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916377162191538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678380459654266,0.0,0.0,0.1356994048047445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437883099285206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910656984821386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231814932201012,0.143864603131177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059039386863516,0.0,0.11758894129637965,0.0,0.1422538595414229,0.0,0.0,0.10943493836604977,0.0,0.0,0.10061535075700066,0.1515142650027144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549034033841008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188877881246776,0.0,0.0,0.22570434815022836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283300568455958,0.11402511792710465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28872288684603875,0.14486421675508104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154071196128252
mentalhealth,m3wlissa,2018/02/01,"How do I go about weening myself off anti-depressants? My (old) therapist always said if you feel like you don't need your meds anymore, don't just stop taking them. 

I don't have a therapist or psychologist right now, and I don't know if I could afford one. But I haven't been feeling depressed or anxious for a little while (thank goodness). I'm nervous that this might be part of the rollercoaster but I would like to try to stop taking meds so it's one less cost for me. What do you think?",3.0948,4.646035479999998,4.035,88.39750000000002,74.2,7.0,24.5,7.6454224807358475,1.0902000000000005,388,12,81,5,8,125,70,100,0.046,0.833,0.12,0.7752,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,1,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,13,0,0,1,0,19,24,10,0,5,7,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,0,1,1,5,2,0,2,2,3,14,4,7,18,2,9,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,5,7,57,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790423355195994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723261074821584,0.16436391441337067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232537110235812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28549345933451137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676005070772155,0.11840063356621455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941906351892108,0.1390100870377953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910832496705287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193883744397425,0.16610933175481252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36818694175887295,0.0,0.0,0.17581792607320676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228899005960309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739102926210365,0.0,0.22461173319477887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794741212682998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415362064042625,0.15765129408387504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27712263047289043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492231702199485,0.0,0.0,0.15258589763838826,0.0,0.3848606462738336,0.0,0.10619586220919493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252272632509627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773290800833923,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,squishypants4,2018/02/01,"Should finding a psychiatrist or psychologist on Medicaid be this difficult? My sister is on WellCare “Healthy Choice” through Medicaid in the US, more specifically NY. For days now I’ve been sitting here listening to her call doctor upon doctor with no luck. They either don’t answer the phone (she leaves a message), don’t call her back, aren’t accepting new patients, no longer accept her insurance, no longer exist at that particular location, etc. 

Is this normal? I have never tried to schedule these types of appointments myself. ",8.353188405797102,9.879325913043477,7.961739130434786,65.29123188405799,61.60869565217391,11.35072463768116,37.072463768115945,11.20814326018867,4.792972463768117,432,20,63,12,6,137,74,92,0.097,0.7879999999999999,0.115,0.4186,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,0,1,11,10,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,1,9,3,11,7,3,12,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,2,6,48,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866913562072307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958336827721357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565801629125629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4970139227242875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707762364394605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22190665130617546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25708070060371313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725545078442413,0.2344891408625172,0.0,0.0,0.2378837118857996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483920811355174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920477787391882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Clifftt,2018/02/01,"Fear of safety? Hello, so I (F/29) have a sister (30+) who is a few years older than me (developing schizophrenia a couple years ago).

BEFORE
She was so aggressive and physical before (like hitting and choking other family members). I wasn’t around when she had episodes until it was mostly under control (meaning she’s under medication, see a psychiatrist every few months).

However, there’s this sudden moment 4-5 years ago when we thought she’s fine after seeing psychiatrist. Out of nowhere, she attacked my other sister (20s) with a knife and fortunately, I was there before she could hurt my other sister. She just barged inside a room and attacked my other sister when we did nothing to provoke her.

Thankfully, that never happened again recently. 

NOW
That said though, she recently became irritated easily and moody.

She doesn’t like to wait, doesn’t like it when we disagree with her or said something else. She would cry or get mad. For example, when my mom told my sister that my mom would make an appointment for her to go somewhere tomorrow instead of right now, right now. My sister went berserk/got angry, telling my mom to go make the appointment now in a threatening tone/face.

I don’t know, it makes me anxious. I think I just cannot forget how she was trying to hurt my other sister and another family member (for the latter, I only heard the stories but the person kept telling the story several times).

I don’t know if I’m justified in how I feel or not?
How can I go on with my life, having her as a sister? Also, thinking what can I do if I have to live my life walking on eggshells around her because I’m afraid I will say something wrong or do something wrong and she will try to hurt me or her episodes come back. I can’t even discuss anything personal because I feel like it will make her feel jealous or triggered because I’m happy.

How can you deal with schizophrenic family when the person doesn’t allow you to disagree and cannot be reasoned with a lot of times?

————

Tl;dr: schizophrenic sister tried to (hurt) my other sister and I saw it as it happened. I cannot forget it. Recently, schizophrenic sister became more moody, I’m scared if she would do something similar. Am I wrong to assume this way or how do I deal with this anxiety and stop walking on eggshells around her?

Edit: kill is probably too strong of a word so I change it to “hurt”. She used a sharp object and I could tell there’s an intent to hurt and not just an empty threat.",4.401671228190217,6.14092457594937,5.189338579085419,80.67506500171059,71.17299578059071,7.8247462652525925,27.57874330026229,8.441846121484758,2.060343094993728,1955,70,352,32,37,634,212,474,0.168,0.753,0.079,-0.9938,1,0,4,0,0,0,67.0,3,2,0,2,34,29,7,3,20,0,38,6,0,16,1,82,75,42,1,8,16,14,4,4,0,6,6,4,1,3,22,26,0,4,11,0,0,7,13,21,0,0,15,11,63,8,42,50,5,53,0,6,3,0,57,14,0,13,35,247,85,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990361485755392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054085394322344965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091819102340781,0.05173839853811204,0.07640506238990526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565548488283866,0.18062081831387727,0.0,0.1538826356404606,0.0,0.05200493751481457,0.0,0.12368376618103855,0.0,0.17264989789805332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154583165496642,0.05825909617235413,0.0,0.0,0.07585519083739106,0.1079975138352268,0.07483367154394703,0.07429072508332203,0.0,0.13945152396115149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649797084188748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04467038764208205,0.0,0.05698299110653091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127267472271095,0.07610495528733223,0.10259051947714536,0.04831641111278548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035334999383869456,0.0,0.11531070355880887,0.0,0.05409159707032008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961374812334713,0.07199566585128757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344095991055149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074824937393198,0.0,0.07433770587230225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554115484317187,0.13216658069137652,0.0,0.05972041472224671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057498423051721675,0.0,0.0,0.1805799024662523,0.0,0.0,0.07367122259644174,0.0,0.0681322612519702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237629819069112,0.05398332530570657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216207228439022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489485805840663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143728666641565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716131606940766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291888098510947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953709940744876,0.2003357238057834,0.0,0.0,0.11551494835790765,0.12866729692217954,0.0537837887025755,0.06771156615419323,0.0,0.1077881112584375,0.0,0.0,0.07640506238990526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20826608845192027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654349364227305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734040229494774,0.06226658370190913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667188312141441,0.06644822973895473,0.053692361001983935,0.07887368418336277,0.0,0.0,0.06462540377912987,0.0,0.13775334153801744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058412450218359876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053683241140945206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269566718333515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413178578947713,0.22183536928727948,0.0,0.13065863356072446
mentalhealth,LadyOzymandias,2018/02/01,"Your ""mental illness"" makes you a bad person There are a handful of philosophies - [some quite popular](http://media.hoover.org/sites/default/files/documents/978-0-8179-3692-1_1.pdf) [even today](https://dailystoic.com/stoicism-saved-my-life/) - that purport that self discipline is the key to being perfect, and totally immune from problems, suffering, and trauma. If you have depression, PTSD, or anxiety, *it's all your fault*. You're supposed to have 100% control over your emotions at all times - you are completely responsible for them, and any diversion, expression, or malfunction designates you a thoroughly bad and worthless person. You're a bad, weak, vile, despicable excuse of a human being who deserves to be in pain as punishment for being so subhuman - it's woven into your very existence as an emotional person. Everything about you is disgusting, and there are logical, philosophical ways to prove it. You have no character. You have no good qualities in you, otherwise you would have had the self-respect to not be so wretched and low. The people who matter hate you, and you probably deserve to kill yourself, because that's what weak people do. 

Before anyone accuses me of victim blaming or not knowing what it's like or some BS - I'm chronically depressed myself, and afraid of effing everything. That's how I know what I'm saying is true, because it's true of me. I know I can't ""get over it"" and don't even *want to*, because as much as being able to weather extreme hardship sounds awesome, I know it's innately beyond me. It's beyond most of us, and those predisposed to being philosophically reprehensible are even worse off. ",7.6610563380281675,9.568691866197183,7.481802816901411,66.71354929577465,63.43661971830986,10.609577464788732,36.3830985915493,10.686352973137794,4.504310422535211,1326,63,196,35,20,422,165,284,0.256,0.657,0.087,-0.9949,0,0,0,0,0,0,81.0,1,15,1,3,11,26,6,1,9,0,24,7,1,3,7,41,34,22,1,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,6,2,0,5,18,11,0,2,6,0,0,0,6,21,0,0,1,3,25,5,32,25,7,12,0,5,0,0,27,10,0,8,2,142,43,0,0.12305829391834312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368385971317956,0.0,0.09413925802217016,0.0,0.0,0.08604522035555487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082456058203369,0.22504558136049785,0.0,0.1047135444528924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902427989136478,0.0,0.13802034048854214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21197985646556894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27684803492918925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438365276279641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211937194584181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429287952855707,0.0,0.0,0.10321545847749652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149458840708327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136145769617554,0.0,0.27051848034043224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012006649398064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214236675380664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401381665006693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904620052987549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309427009839475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706262530375453,0.3223492670094885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267765423176991,0.1177501678942448,0.14384856030282908,0.0,0.0,0.13088764312696435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786089452212088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567532771469987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175628079237119,0.0,0.11664487380595676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802397581567292,0.0,0.0,0.10153598018974697,0.07258297008349449,0.09767794582028116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540691466696086,0.08741708128465309,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Getrealhelp,2018/02/01,"Do you need someone to talk with? I can help, pm me if you need help. I'm a professional.",-3.151499999999998,-2.0207591499999977,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,115.5,4.0,15.0,5.985473137389443,-0.7174999999999998,67,2,18,1,4,24,16,20,0.0,0.735,0.265,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,10,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5790190498976514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6405322849715913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365967768558405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34716411701250843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JezCon,2018/02/01,"Sh*t My Psychiatrist Says My psychiatrist is such a firecracker. She's a mid-sixties Indian woman with a very thick accent. And she takes shit from no one. Here's some snippits from my most recent visit:

Dr: Looks like my nurse already added in the computer that you want to change your prescription to XR.
Me: She did [explains why]... The nurse is very nice. Dr: She's a pain in the ass! She's too bubbly. I tell her all the time she needs to shut up. Me: [laughing] Yes, she does tend to go on. I was happy that this time, I saw her before the appointment with you. Last time, I saw her after and was in her office for 45 minutes while she told me all about her life. I tried to leave a few times. But it was no use. Dr: Oh for goodness sake. I tell her all the time that she can't do that. No one wants to hear about her damn life. These are psychiatry patients, not geriatric patients. If she wants to blabber on like that she needs to volunteer at a nursing home. Those old fogies will listen to her all day. Did she tell you about the chickens??? Me: Oh yeah. Her Facebook friend keeps a bunch of chickens in the house, apparently. Dr: [grumbles] Stupid chickens.....

While trying to enter info into the new fangled computer system: Dr: This new computer system is so stupid. It keeps trying to diagnose my patients. Today is clinical depression day. Everyone has clinical depression today! Me: I've read lots of articles saying that those algorithms can be pretty accurate. I'm sure it's helpful sometimes. Dr: Those damn algorithms don't know what I know! They're always trying to get me to run all these tests on people! Blood tests and ekg tests. It's so stupid! You're not dead yet are you? The medications are fine.

On my way out the door: Dr: Ok. See you in three months. Make sure you come early so that you can see the nurse first. Maybe you won't have to hear any more about the chickens!",0.9329961418529678,3.5087079811320763,2.1958458855240224,92.27617039268542,90.48247978436657,5.389588288145447,19.134348078854185,6.965498970235437,0.43490989905396216,1475,44,300,23,51,470,190,371,0.102,0.782,0.116,-0.6043,1,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,9,0,1,11,20,6,0,20,3,22,17,3,2,7,35,49,10,1,6,4,0,1,2,1,2,14,5,2,1,19,8,0,2,4,1,0,5,8,9,0,4,8,11,49,11,40,38,11,44,0,2,5,1,44,15,4,4,23,184,68,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171704985400553,0.0,0.0842369191310503,0.0,0.0,0.06884432525510167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614484725773376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709484595497304,0.08720632335568247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057839876049498,0.0,0.17438978359822252,0.10275296679837682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859278674758049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967358615087594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611175734539303,0.0,0.0,0.07821510706772483,0.0,0.05289191876452083,0.0,0.05753506411640578,0.08491241464165046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776818950058477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282018980217473,0.0,0.06785672520021142,0.0,0.10154851353990622,0.0,0.0,0.11681338592155685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996739358812655,0.0,0.0,0.111273920155594,0.08252129975978377,0.0,0.10719488858816904,0.0,0.0,0.14301273775995668,0.0989181289260752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501320456015654,0.0,0.0,0.08606769418900949,0.0,0.0,0.06757618295099133,0.0,0.10170572115765107,0.0,0.0,0.10198517306405826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080604801175062,0.0,0.0,0.15013123748126647,0.0,0.19554978083430624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062307289504336,0.0,0.1372010120188564,0.0,0.10772282644726848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018467659974606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299396610667882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126394561555824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995887942955647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101473510727746,0.0,0.0,0.1613448457300664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039178633227216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001255361341188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082849976401856,0.0,0.07611728623070764,0.0,0.2654556195106024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29515923087785073,0.0,0.19192082342188768,0.0967358615087594,0.0,0.2749318872587354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743587450567485,0.0,0.1670615114846956,0.1791358196503847,0.08035686087316747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135023964667084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway555959595,2018/02/01,"How do I stop ""speaking to people in my head""? I am very very very sorry if this is the incorrect sub but I don't know where to post this, I just cant stop speaking, arguing in my head. I imagine that a certain person in my life, like a parent, is watching over what I am doing and I have to speak to them in my head and justify it - using the same speech etc that I would use when talking to them. It feels like I am always thinking in second person. I feel ""off"" if I use language I wouldn't use with them. I feel numb if I repress the thoughts. What should I do? Will it stop eventually if I keep repressing it? This is not a minor annoyance, it is messing with my head. 

Cheers",1.2302097902097875,2.9318374755244783,3.223076923076924,91.54692307692312,79.83916083916084,6.078321678321679,22.88811188811189,7.010146845296331,0.6425216783216787,521,17,117,6,13,176,75,143,0.128,0.7390000000000001,0.133,0.4283,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,0,4,10,2,2,6,0,17,6,4,5,1,34,28,9,0,7,7,1,3,2,0,4,2,4,0,2,12,4,0,6,7,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,8,24,4,14,23,2,13,0,0,1,0,11,8,0,4,6,88,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961381354478268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691899972330885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982704946310725,0.09411128750025764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5407911817948973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170918436263058,0.0,0.0,0.07239793941986869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304810606238356,0.12871782885878186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627578138544614,0.0,0.0,0.091328245784213,0.2300512968097233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616541636832546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746619804984154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304082938206149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588335227323888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441026892071572,0.0,0.104582627443705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551058962771237,0.0,0.3260847421646081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358054277317532,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dremaw01,2018/02/01,"A craving that can't be satisfied For the past few weeks I've been having a craving, nothing will satisfy it, I don't know what I'm craving but it's just a feeling that's always there. Is this a symptom of depression? My GP doesn't take it seriously and I've been 3 times in the past year about depression. I feel as if I've tried everything and there is no hope for me.

At this current point, I'm out of a job because of my mental health, I have only been sleeping for 2-4 hours a day, my life is going downhill fast and it just seems to be getting worse. My head is a mess and I can't think straight and to be honest I can't feel emotion anymore.

I need help but I can't get it, any advice? What am I craving. How do I get my doctor to listen to me.",0.6734538152610412,2.211387469879522,3.0850361445783143,92.65534538152613,80.92771084337348,5.8724497991967874,23.717269076305215,6.742157984588678,0.6167924497991959,584,21,137,6,15,202,93,166,0.159,0.746,0.094,-0.8931,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,9,0,21,6,2,1,0,20,37,10,0,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,4,16,2,15,30,1,15,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,3,9,87,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329362130922878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390452142420979,0.0,0.0,0.1136375125443044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572381503187114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186599965849888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077692632775228,0.0,0.2878555516058747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103962371203602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879712656058156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018370421625418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534807795243115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26191727756022243,0.0,0.09496994190935022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714985167042568,0.1776253983389618,0.0,0.0,0.11200733586364864,0.0,0.0,0.1659735282939833,0.1645653178488162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582648560572744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183684676027963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803160043309505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840310298234926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390665693469845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034229372850606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709131006713675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31904233488878003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579687695066637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212662771985125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722624377144396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368666263312044,0.12564258618017993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707449678793388,0.0,0.0,0.0974405971070606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345370759109374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404200229093427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029484404105305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761050324256002
mentalhealth,gingergirl17,2018/02/01,"Feeling guilty I'm 29 and I've taken meds since highschool. Last year after many episodes and situations I was diagnosed bipolar and they are still working on getting the right meds and doses for me. 
A few months ago I started spending time with a guy, every thing was great and we decided to try to be gf and bf. He started posting a lot about me us on social media. Im not the kind of girl who posts a lot about my relationships. Im very active on Instagram cause i like to share about my bipolar disorder journey but being 2018 I didn't see anything wrong with him posting so much about us. 
Weeks later he started fighting with me almost every day. He would make me feel bad cause I wasn't in love with him as he was in love with me. I tried to explain that i was enjoying the relationship and that i still needed more time for it to happen but i was getting there. Then xmas and new year's came and it was a huge fight cause i dont celebrate any of that and i wasn't even in town during that time cause i made plans to travel before meeting him. I've told him that i have generalized anxiety and i need time before meeting his family and this lead to another fight about how bad of a GF I am. I've spent many days explaining to him what is it like for me to have bipolar disorder and try to have a ""normal"" social life. I also explained that for the same reason I'm very close to the few friends i have cause they've been through hell with me and this disorder since he was upset at me for not trusting him like I trust my friends.
All this happened in 2 months which for me was a short time to get to love him and trust him as much as he was asking me to.
It feels like every time I talk to him i end up explaining why I am the way i am as if everything I do is wrong. 
One day after telling him that it wasn't working for me and my health, we ended the relationship. Then I found out that he posted on fb that I cheated on him and that one day I was gonna regret it. I never cheated on him and he never found anything that could make him believe so. I got messages from his friends saying I was a bitch and stuff.
Yesterday he called me to apologize for hurting and to say that he was finally understanding what I've been through cause he was diagnosed bipolar after seeing a therapist 1 day. Today he asked to see each other and try again. I told him I wasn't ready for it yet. His response was this...
""Well I’m sorry. I guess this relationship is another thing I lost to my bipolar. Sorry for putting that on you. I guess I don’t blame you. I’m not right yet. You need someone who isn’t sick like me. Love you. Always.""

What would you think?
At this point I know for sure he is not good for my mental health and I dont see a reason to fight for the relationship. 
More than anything I feel guilty cause now he suddenly said he was diagnose bipolar and to be honest there's a part of me that doesn't believe it's true.",2.413573770491801,3.9246609147540994,3.7922622950819687,89.60347540983607,75.91803278688525,6.847213114754098,24.33114754098361,7.554174236665415,0.99884,2298,74,502,30,50,756,239,610,0.17,0.7170000000000001,0.113,-0.9913,0,0,0,0,5,0,42.0,4,5,1,5,19,40,8,1,20,0,46,18,0,14,5,90,98,36,0,9,7,0,4,5,6,3,14,3,0,2,38,35,0,0,16,1,2,5,16,16,1,2,33,11,85,24,75,58,12,74,1,3,4,4,86,22,2,6,47,326,123,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612620709930513,0.0,0.052105896653181716,0.0,0.0,0.04161265867628504,0.04329758807332827,0.0,0.0,0.0353858292400782,0.10912722423389742,0.039806908053447936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846200299972008,0.0,0.09729207488219818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868947043388268,0.0,0.0,0.08855651772834805,0.1172520635930521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313392056946403,0.05951458958226573,0.0,0.3741825403938007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0415460008882285,0.0,0.0,0.16779251244964832,0.0,0.0,0.15844438551321308,0.0,0.0,0.1789110924382839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219701090083509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217576828015607,0.0,0.0,0.034368864592327304,0.0,0.13152610546597468,0.0,0.04676602640318128,0.0,0.049054306478745084,0.0,0.10524256622732353,0.03717407165632431,0.0,0.05700219352695843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410817307000146,0.12060717041399913,0.0,0.08155898392406974,0.0,0.0,0.04364479125531843,0.041617430996753024,0.05736916821696145,0.114645631348537,0.05152318749182753,0.092029394183257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106223090174179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570492921355191,0.0,0.11241423645252163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418682013263379,0.028597273071596832,0.042415763552750105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03675411371073679,0.12710924269922844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568027424138099,0.08847720471873953,0.1878557763642308,0.04923711589392904,0.06946801386285244,0.10551137574794534,0.0,0.0,0.1155991090893353,0.0,0.05243940413874704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306825597938369,0.0,0.07650395388521129,0.11575068054109605,0.08026575518268046,0.05025607504247198,0.0,0.0,0.050983604750054916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052101338600009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634922418512633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049190234614196866,0.0,0.19934196431488765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230990916864376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107002033330303,0.0,0.2793325153155519,0.0,0.08887582642695786,0.04949754343762671,0.08276121380418823,0.0,0.0,0.16586177985229958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608837519522126,0.058489924954388435,0.0,0.1060869933197055,0.04408939175602521,0.0,0.0,0.11649865088022553,0.11049268712100582,0.0,0.08311101159368389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956803796964314,0.0,0.0,0.049042711085976284,0.0,0.0,0.0418240513881657,0.045481198283297664,0.0,0.0,0.06041706370718782,0.06913996217496142,0.033342157659671814,0.0,0.0,0.1820534216078028,0.0,0.04932343704479008,0.09944403301380744,0.0,0.14131437528279212,0.0,0.0,0.05417064499506912,0.12518426252334847,0.0,0.0,0.08586924334113834,0.0,0.04130324680487605,0.0417396271518696,0.0,0.046786037930115064,0.0,0.046953818912442206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576472378949295,0.0,0.0,0.07392885370265959,0.1137849952547531,0.0,0.06701813172292928
mentalhealth,Tube-Goblin,2018/02/01,"Real and substantial help. Hi all. I subscribed to this subreddit not long ago and find it horribly depressing and confrontational, but also a place where real people come for help. One thing I'm reminded of constantly while browsing here is the lack of real support for just about anyone who is not mentally well. I run a couple of courses on mental health and have a PhD in psychology. But what I would like to do is get each person who is in real trouble in contact with someone who could at least offer some evidence based advice (not from me and all for free). Would this subreddit be interested in a mentor style program in an attempt to alleviate some of our symptoms? Feel free to downvote out of relevance.",6.250843776106932,7.529038879699254,6.9417543859649165,71.61450292397662,66.21804511278198,10.121637426900586,33.574770258980784,10.25414643259724,3.734942188805346,573,25,95,14,9,189,92,133,0.098,0.7559999999999999,0.146,0.8434,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,6,0,10,2,0,0,2,29,15,9,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,9,0,0,2,0,2,2,3,3,1,1,0,1,5,8,23,11,7,16,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,2,5,76,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309515669908138,0.12980630870629714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171044826337998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239116426822978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614128826195306,0.0,0.15824484277829418,0.0,0.11691689726838013,0.1620281870834232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612475286386216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404223054442664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383946974563182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650654809045428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565417684575528,0.0,0.0,0.1963053687994806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154102899342121,0.0,0.0,0.12959088269056712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951452508268783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922854066622294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151999513190844,0.1278619025892286,0.15299401676746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6667030080755512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407439407784512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617336398488805,0.0,0.15220263967911773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728529439568806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166317511488024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804727311244006,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WithdrawELLE,2018/02/01,"HELP! Effexor withdrawal! Hey guys I’m desperate for some help!
I’ve been very slowly tapering off Effexor after being on it for 9 years. I was on it for neuropathic pain, anxiety/depression. After a decade of therapy my psychiatrist and I agreed I was ready to start going off it.  I managed to reduce 150 mg to 37.5 mg very slowly over the course of 9 months with no issue. I was excited to finally go off it completely as planned, I followed instructions and took my final dose 5 days ago.  Instead of celebrating I’m absolutely devastated  by the withdrawal symptoms. Horrible irritability, anxiety, fits of crying, nausea, night sweats and nightmares. 

I don’t understand why this is happening!? I’ve tapered so slowly and done everything by the book. Why is this happening? Does anyone know how long I can expect to experience this? Can anyone offer any advice?  I’m devestated. ",4.100810210876805,7.069833383647804,6.240036995930449,66.98327413984461,76.7987421383648,10.533629300776916,30.736588975212733,10.328600350310266,4.506421827598964,704,34,109,27,17,245,103,159,0.14800000000000002,0.738,0.113,-0.8355,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,0,11,4,1,1,0,10,23,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,2,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,6,0,10,1,24,16,1,22,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,11,65,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410424573069278,0.1397930143529295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724254270893832,0.0,0.12064134510086835,0.0,0.0,0.22053734735725414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534719949778434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322787824537556,0.10170453014135276,0.0,0.13582821638700707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800579323387596,0.1613835601892708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173209139296186,0.15426249281413826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455089398834445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925098540515974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614944608489667,0.27891013007538745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140820898184626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459957020741905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666871300182416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956101444160715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258759675968864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799233330869216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780569456075325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162205297122152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639124169331262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803456022848937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17521235680409994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417299902851162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602407854827453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28460245460983363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155470435364616
mentalhealth,picassyo,2018/02/01,"Missing classes I don’t think I’m even super depressed yet, but I’ve missed a week of classes since the semester started. I already feel so overwhelmed. I take medication but I also started smoking weed every day about a week ago. I’m technically a junior, but I’ve changed my major 3 times so I’m not graduating with my class most likely. I feel like I’m going to just skip tomorrow too, I can’t do it. Sorry if this is written weird, I’m a little high. ",0.5249645390070938,2.9406747234042565,3.2820212765957457,85.4841666666667,89.0,5.260992907801419,24.854609929078013,6.816661863887847,1.2365418439716316,360,16,70,5,12,126,64,94,0.12,0.785,0.095,-0.0078,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,11,19,7,0,1,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,2,8,3,4,18,2,12,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,2,11,36,10,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989946288880604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477275446335304,0.17952257710037495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374780149135886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447758697056018,0.0,0.19335075960391299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827188023784424,0.0,0.18914040551065825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227015255823504,0.16037391883495794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275814227328427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23718337485553664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193465118406097,0.22499545556635414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261475445798211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569838439856495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25129538342444185,0.31778682374862416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878666637494238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384252916198575,0.0,0.0,0.1309004697794025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601406721836197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foreverasprout,2018/02/01,"Struggling with depression/PMDD--looking for advice/support? I don't even know where to begin. Once a month, for ~2 weeks, this suffocating cloud wraps around my mind, clouding my perception of the world. It makes me feel isolated and alone, even though I know I'm not. I also have no energy to reach out to friends/family when this happens, and I'm a zombie at work. 

I've been to therapy, and I believe have pretty good coping mechanisms...but they only work during my ""good"" half of the month. I've also seen a psychiatrist, and I know they've been through school and they try to help...but they just list the symptoms from a manual and prescribe meds like candy. It's really hard for me to trust their expertise.

I would take the meds if they were effective, but no one even knows how they work (no one really knows anything about the brain anyway), and what the long term side effects might be. Even the immediate side effects sound awful enough that it's a major deterrent for me. 

Besides, I feel amazing during the follicular phase, taking meds would probably make me feel hypomanic then, at the very least. It's just now, this part of the month, where this deep sadness infiltrates my soul and I'm a teary mess. 

Maybe this is normal, and I'm being a weakling. 

I'm looking for words of advice or what has worked for you, if you experience this too. 
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mentalhealth,pancase,2018/02/01,"About emotional development So I guess I should start off by saying I've always been very closed off and avoidant of most emotion. It has worked out alright for me so far because I have a loving family and somehow I managed to make some friends in school, although my relationships were not that deep and I believe they haven't lasted long because of that. Im at a point in life right now where I feel the urge to change myself and become more open to life and people. I find myself wondering where to start, though, and i feel pretty numb to life. When I think of what I can really do to mix things up and change my life, I come to the conclusion of saying random gibberish or stream of consciousness words, yelling, screaming, crying, or moving my body in ways that feel new. I wonder why most people seem to have a smoother development in life where their relationship with theirselves is such that they don't need to cry or scream just to feel something. 
Any response is appreciated, thanks.",8.95678486997636,7.6783230000000025,7.9343262411347535,75.38277777777779,61.02127659574467,10.908747044917257,34.71867612293144,9.725611199111238,3.0548030732860525,796,26,149,12,9,245,118,188,0.057,0.825,0.118,0.8946,0,1,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,3,2,12,8,0,1,5,1,12,8,1,1,0,39,28,15,0,2,5,0,4,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,7,12,0,1,11,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,9,21,4,28,25,4,28,0,0,0,1,9,18,0,12,7,100,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629916743883243,0.0,0.0,0.07870244155820204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410995842022707,0.1278180592591481,0.0,0.1303915137879411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285533266093318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448604390768233,0.09969377348059147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25425463849472313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26036820438488995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910281804132266,0.0,0.23407242661307864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577790954437256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941506609522562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749300065705438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501155214831045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433788111925716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087283735414846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242010591547186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445359468876947,0.0,0.07725270847988512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300591482428418,0.0,0.08581458893051122,0.0,0.11177569931002206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046944720294118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940513895244018,0.0,0.0,0.11774211699108272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414155431051006,0.0,0.0,0.2485079641658183,0.0,0.0988353909674988,0.0,0.18407113052285767,0.0,0.11712802365977795,0.0,0.10535902062182224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909695485315143,0.0,0.0,0.1638328946454922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655144172892483,0.0,0.0,0.07688789480519148,0.07415706431043863,0.11370713243102434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549188546426213,0.0,0.09186350687927436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443107504473782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510151082678403,0.08425503759937761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hexx248,2018/02/01,"Can you be technically healed from a traumatic experience (rape) and still cry/feel hurt by it? I’m not crying as much as I used to and it doesn’t come up in my mind as often as before(which was very often). I can more or less live my life normally and counseling really helped me, so I would think of myself as over it.. but it still sometimes affects me. Is that normal? I just don’t want to believe that all the progress I think I made is pointless. Can there ever come a time when I won’t be feeling affected at all by this experience, and just acept it as an event in my life?",2.3502500000000026,3.9300268583333375,3.938333333333337,88.20000000000002,76.25,7.466666666666668,23.666666666666664,8.238735603445708,1.2095666666666671,453,14,100,8,10,151,79,120,0.056,0.863,0.08,0.4151,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,10,2,1,0,4,0,12,4,0,4,3,28,21,14,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,1,14,0,17,15,5,13,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,3,6,77,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20576928168272973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146510928725678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061809548682366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520556251810645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573079324978501,0.0,0.0,0.1846934424131253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241768670785708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551661470526305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25800373470243376,0.0,0.0,0.1612717583496851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281548245984896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844112389039588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425916060194126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578908346867392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700189629001505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063259725190195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917081820395481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340527448692012,0.0,0.0,0.10649706465476236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577396707648642,0.0,0.1506945974296061,0.10772399534172064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974003745316853,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Helpme330,2018/02/01,"I Hate #BellLetsTalk Day... For years now when this day has rolled around, I've seen tweets, Facebook statuses and Instagram posts that just makes me want to tell everyone to just...be quiet.

You see, I've been quietly been going through depression and I don't know what to do. I've been binge eating McDonald's everyday for months, trying to get up to go to the library to do schoolwork and get overwhelmed. I've turned off the data on my phone so I don't see my emails right away and even when I do, I don't respond. I don't pick up calls, I don't respond to text messages and I simply wait until I can binge watch a TV show or look at pornography. 

I moved out to get away from my family's mental health issues (all three of them had mental breakdowns) and I feel like my 40 year battle with depression is thickening. I don't know what to do. Counselling seems futile... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...

I hate what my family went through, and I find myself getting sad about it. I'm a 25 year old man and I can barely face the real world.

Help.",2.4990775681341724,4.20800718867925,3.697672955974845,89.52961215932915,76.16981132075472,7.163941299790356,22.62683438155136,7.984000788550335,1.0040557651991615,812,23,174,13,18,264,124,212,0.103,0.858,0.039,-0.9413,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,0,8,8,3,1,5,0,20,3,1,2,1,25,43,13,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,11,1,1,6,2,0,4,7,7,0,1,6,8,25,1,29,37,1,28,0,4,5,0,11,11,0,2,13,103,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061565925527187,0.0,0.0,0.2545963899111133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835139498843202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476089034818126,0.0,0.2333962901869521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864105341601374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949048573030934,0.0,0.0,0.12946739618761327,0.0,0.0,0.2554575931453017,0.0,0.06850828855494112,0.09679475212691384,0.0,0.0,0.12383626135996036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831536886117135,0.0,0.15400524323575573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26753849808941377,0.0,0.14402052968585932,0.0,0.0,0.09081671872735916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141733608324558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22338682596260295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619402767529985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377826241793244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044125223581556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27308599242071674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081475728765315,0.14400542308515926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217494585582802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976286403825374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421834850815808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570851948374684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21593746868189487,0.12334585993004768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184250505289447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198945204284924,0.14737523173900086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991606481245889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560145558568894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617551626346877
mentalhealth,trugirlgamer,2018/02/01,"I can’t tell if I had a mental breakdown So today in class our teacher was calling people up to see our test grades. Ok so i got a bad grade on my test... then I went kinda Insane? I started uncontrollably laughing and got really hyper. After a couple of seconds i started just mindlessly typing really hard on my keyboard for a 10 min time span. I Don’t know if I did. A lot of things happen to me without me realizing. I don’t know why every post I have makes me sound like a angsty depressed teen, but Don’t worry about me 😉",2.3222020202020204,3.8011332000000015,4.623939393939394,83.68035353535353,76.0909090909091,6.707070707070707,24.040404040404038,7.3871296695380915,1.1135555555555552,412,13,83,5,9,144,76,110,0.133,0.812,0.055,-0.7655,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,6,1,8,0,0,1,0,12,18,7,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,6,3,18,3,12,12,1,14,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,4,8,55,19,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062694439294682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866814794683028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261136687050263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600968756059307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217694798412933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268809135604525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807094510914494,0.0,0.18306092705235025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461508370640704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983697787290803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373435129857728,0.0,0.0,0.13640779410729986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059406349802896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167324191792255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571451746766105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26182864197742844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628435754693518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892854399612952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786142883955083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357636299141687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191603841360922,0.0,0.1937035729379878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894380835023976,0.18439758117756752,0.0,0.0,0.1969898369210492,0.0,0.0,0.2075312731102817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tawaytomato,2018/02/01,"I finally made an appointment with a professional, but it will take over a week. What do I do until then? I (think) I have been dealing with depression over the past few months. I definitely have not been feeling like myself, and it's led me to do and say some regrettable things. Well today I finally managed to get up and make an appointment with the psychiatrist on campus. I was surprised when the receptionist told me the next available appointment wasn't for another ~10 days. I had no idea it would take this long.

So what do I do until then? I feel like I've had nothing to look forward to except for this, and now it feels like my entire life is on pause.",4.054923076923078,5.623573876923075,5.092307692307696,81.70769230769233,71.76923076923076,8.892307692307693,27.615384615384606,9.3871,2.3643692307692312,524,19,104,12,10,172,82,130,0.16399999999999998,0.773,0.063,-0.9282,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,8,0,16,1,0,3,0,20,27,11,0,1,3,0,3,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,9,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,8,5,14,5,17,17,2,22,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,1,19,79,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211704555720204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200826136090067,0.1790549023865521,0.1495890334493069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634511969318209,0.37222785508798345,0.0,0.3805126043766789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073984544292507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606188089727686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226742574653276,0.2545516197913845,0.0,0.0,0.1537000029363692,0.14584619394770149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433879155838696,0.11593174420265015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862851790429387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470905001827967,0.0,0.0,0.16664920030955258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657957758298405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811611035246055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611692277173477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538427491065467,0.11128616691407983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462690578605604,0.16595724502210832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931441274937995,0.0,0.15615782516189158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337621993299855,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bloopzoop,2018/02/01,Anyone else feel the intense need to conquer something? Being a small female I have never been strong. I wish I was (I even work out partly for this reason) and fantasize about being violent towards others who I feel have wronged me but have never been in a fight. I am not sadistic and am more empathetic than most but I like the idea of violently beating something and think about it often. I hunt squirrels since they eat the flowers in my backyard (legal in my state) which gives me some satisfaction that honestly scares me a bit. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t know how to shake this want. Thanks.,4.524369114877587,6.1595524915254245,5.023333333333333,82.40010357815444,70.6949152542373,7.278342749529191,27.517890772128066,7.793537801064563,1.675567608286252,486,17,90,6,9,155,80,118,0.193,0.619,0.188,-0.1648,1,0,2,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,1,4,5,11,3,2,6,0,12,1,0,2,2,24,22,7,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,5,1,0,6,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,2,16,4,13,17,5,10,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,3,3,70,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27322815621362057,0.2001896634492913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133041061057236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199922281494104,0.1632147273901413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904649552491412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975797646035232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742607874190514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915808490447169,0.22055997881136785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737561206145947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545268669028482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144871623930874,0.3013778470673717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21157725147142786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088294418661545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560923421381693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162016488111414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008257849332313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798794422699482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251914676337715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23048010111977466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22467709340655906,0.0,0.0,0.14223879964352773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213617107447636,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lgbtrash,2018/02/01,"I’m scared of nothing but everything I’m 16 and suffer from extreme paranoia. It’s gotten really bad lately, and 7/10 times I have a panic attack before bed because I’m scared that something bad will happen while I’m asleep. I feel like if it happens while I’m awake I’ll be able to do something about it. I feel helpless and vulnerable in sleep, and it terrifies me. Same thing happens when I leave people (even just for a few minutes) although it’s much less severe than sleep. What can I do to stop this? It’s horrible. ",3.063904761904759,4.958553104761903,4.243809523809528,85.4161904761905,75.09523809523809,6.571428571428571,25.952380952380953,7.3871296695380915,1.3585238095238092,416,15,80,5,9,136,71,105,0.419,0.556,0.025,-0.9948,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,1,3,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,11,17,10,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,6,1,8,14,4,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,48,16,0,0.1678437002824412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094643977458173,0.0,0.0,0.2802849577995879,0.1023159618232736,0.0,0.14282262666769788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085918106491446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508470951895876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973363600343871,0.11990757301853308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452708895422906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893350046755876,0.1777222438819644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199995384522381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233844320512684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105055719063172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19692841833597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636168828308795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752497228450708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360816491059566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18961560650929246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33592982999094323,0.0,0.0,0.25842856115739765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403248489795157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150789641282652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787101139797437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaydc1234789,2018/02/01,"Unresolved poor self-confidence/issues with sex and relationships Hi Reddit,

I'll try to keep this as brief and as short as possible, but basically I am asking for your help and wondering whether you think therapy could help me.

To start things off with, I've always had low self-confidence. I am a decent looking, fit, 23 year old man, but for most of my childhood/time in high school, I was skinny, short, etc. and made fun of for that. People saw me as a joke, made fun of me, etc. I definitely developed body image issues to the point where I wouldn't take my shirt off at the beach starting at the age of around 13. I was never beat up or stuffed in trash cans, but I certainly was the butt of jokes and looked down upon by people because I was seen as weak. I've had teachers, coaches, etc. tell me I couldn't do things because I was too short at the time.

Needless to say, this has had a profound impact on me. I've had social anxiety for years (it's very mild now, but was bad a few years ago). Above all, I have unstable relationships with women, constantly coming on too strong, being jealous, desperate, etc. I am well-educated, have a great sense of humor, am very independent, and am reasonably decent looking, and yet, I have such an inability to build a romantic relationship. I scare women off before I even have a chance and self-destruct incredibly. I am incredibly close with a number of women -- but I don't think there is a woman in my life who I haven't had a falling out with over something I created/some jealousy/etc.

This has also translated into a very frustrating experience with sex that I can't put my finger on or fully explain why I do it. I have a high sex drive, but I associate orgasm and sex with negative feelings. In my college days, I sexted countless women and had sex with probably around 10-11 women. I kept doing it and yet, I found myself being riddled with guilt, shame, and depression after these experiences. And yet, I continued to be aroused, seek these experiences out, and feel the same negative emotions after. Today, I've stopped sleeping with random people, but my pursuit of sex still exists -- most paradoxically -- even when I don't want it. I'll try to sleep with someone even when I know I don't want to actually do it or go through with it. I've concluded I want to feel loved and wanted and desired and that's why I pursue it, but why do I do it still, knowing my negative feelings that will ensue afterwards? How can I continue to be aroused/hit up women for sex even though I know I don't want it? Is this just poor self control?

I concluded in the last few years that much of my behavior and lack of success with women in developing lasting relationships was because of my lack of self-confidence. I just have been so unable to fix my behavior and continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over, despite being fully aware of it.

How do I change this? I feel resigned to this just being the way I am forever, but it's so frustrating watching myself repeat the same mistakes over and over and yet, so unable to change them. Can therapy TRULY change me or will it just tell me what I already know?

Thanks so much, everyone!",5.584581777445855,6.165414179611652,6.495177993527513,76.7191150112024,67.39805825242718,9.76888225043565,31.380134428678122,9.788737146502573,2.9406419716206136,2505,96,474,53,39,833,267,618,0.147,0.7390000000000001,0.114,-0.9618,0,0,1,0,0,0,92.0,0,2,1,6,32,24,3,3,23,0,58,19,9,9,3,109,94,51,0,13,18,0,6,0,0,3,2,1,0,10,29,42,1,4,17,4,2,6,12,13,0,0,20,13,64,11,83,63,16,80,0,3,6,11,28,39,1,9,34,343,93,3,0.0,0.0,0.06297225505877255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720220911784541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121078036909677,0.05160485011103892,0.05369437122668089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936549571279353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489127977224182,0.060327110799929765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388009725275892,0.11801119867779768,0.0,0.054910524454561765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167860558888653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204793473259312,0.05558713148434685,0.0,0.06973431937661613,0.07237620807528394,0.05152218619888299,0.0,0.0,0.04161669900536024,0.0,0.05557984477148312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258789143087166,0.0,0.0,0.35984165938050483,0.17048659347348205,0.0,0.0,0.06166145809182984,0.0,0.18936901991504,0.0,0.0,0.16314226933057172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075413293741041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036674051272115406,0.0,0.0,0.0711448732430661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650658715233084,0.13635959004094264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470571586562186,0.0,0.057357487309012474,0.0,0.0,0.14185664049245048,0.10520159923030166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045579652666787485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256757530702054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058241106733788926,0.12212024256234792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487437714231188,0.0,0.0497697383081671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771368486389677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421153522632354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100198268848244,0.07274820684280373,0.0,0.0,0.06957456760089886,0.0,0.0,0.06487076547955177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634788628314144,0.0,0.27712552944305985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131707717352297,0.06460607833134015,0.06530809923595983,0.0,0.0,0.33659583335734644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915378728926855,0.06578050481684501,0.054676305850969414,0.04967857039979765,0.0,0.0,0.09134974370182793,0.0,0.10306794692532173,0.053950212450581465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851874766788117,0.0,0.11280463661494408,0.05941082170378016,0.1475920224359635,0.0,0.08574211545764936,0.08269680924696926,0.0634006829160891,0.0,0.037628131411313936,0.0,0.0611671701983376,0.0,0.0,0.08762366293071748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973274381143332,0.1903081867096687,0.05122114107262229,0.0,0.0,0.058020481062146675,0.0,0.17468565077518106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998034752169567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662215658551323
mentalhealth,lillidubh,2018/02/01,Anxiety brain cells found Researchers Discover 'Anxiety Cells' In The Brain http://n.pr/2FuLA3W,16.754999999999995,21.912571166666666,9.740000000000002,46.60500000000002,45.66666666666667,18.133333333333336,53.66666666666666,14.554592549557764,11.078066666666668,82,5,7,4,1,21,9,12,0.254,0.746,0.0,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239258912671942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7645446535952388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754638905658075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GlisteningKidneys,2018/02/01,"My medication turned my ocd into depression and I've hurt each of my friends. I've been on zoloft since christmas and while on my original 25 and 50 mg doses I felt more anxious but still overall the same, moving to a 100mg dosage has made me extremely depressed and overall I feel like I can't enjoy anything.

Today a friend blocked me on discord because I was talking to him and being emotional, he said it was because he needed time to chill but it still hurt that he couldn't tell me. I've had at least 5 friends who have either asked me for time off or just cut contact for a small amount of time before so I just kind of fell apart after this all happened.

I've been on my university's waiting list for therapy since almost september since my therapist moved away in the summer, and now I have to wait til next wednesday before I can discuss with my doctor about coming off this medication.

I've never felt so alone around other people and even though I've joined new discords to overcome my social anxiety it feels pointless and nothing makes me feel happy or accomplished, I can't enjoy art and I can't focus on school either, I was doing fine when I got my diagnosis for OCD and before the medication but it feels like zoloft has ruined the great first semester I had this year.

I really don't know what to do and it scared me how little I cared about wanting to die today, the hope and optimism I had during december is completely gone and now I just feel empty with my intrusive thoughts STILL in the back of my mind.",7.727623762376242,6.525559452145218,7.787669966996701,75.20724752475252,63.38943894389438,10.72026402640264,34.39141914191419,9.725611199111238,3.1057403300330018,1226,43,233,20,15,398,169,303,0.154,0.703,0.14400000000000002,-0.3147,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,18,20,1,1,9,0,22,7,0,4,2,54,46,25,1,4,10,0,7,2,3,0,7,1,0,0,12,19,0,3,9,1,0,5,6,7,0,1,15,8,34,13,34,29,8,44,0,5,0,0,15,16,0,4,25,154,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658024710523937,0.09989259947936772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737836072927993,0.10896048733332736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936972454338248,0.08586050788795492,0.0901672674020703,0.0,0.09061748482402188,0.07416371583386203,0.0,0.11758944601108726,0.0,0.24621427461207815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833669831900578,0.0,0.0,0.08308270829155935,0.10112547091138864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661436345690771,0.0,0.10009935872501748,0.0,0.0,0.0987201552317222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849271132022244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370398838248942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438388384302893,0.13780709121551776,0.18521330010819376,0.0,0.0,0.08203989963916583,0.0,0.0,0.2235499448129442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713947993842303,0.10633591970397174,0.0,0.0,0.08528997869784956,0.10267229149046724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579612093350076,0.0,0.0,0.2065023797300375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043731735566183,0.05300612554802238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424071253173,0.09666774215394094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912628536351001,0.06438079349676443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914881877035316,0.0,0.0,0.09738650533623132,0.0,0.0,0.20502111982895252,0.0,0.07151608581314021,0.07438780414076766,0.09315153289555787,0.10257514271003748,0.0,0.0,0.09254590125699994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686594260706404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061788022601653524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174556592178704,0.0,0.09656278020706784,0.09761204820265633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393520815288185,0.0,0.0,0.09831812412389793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310740977257781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752245863644723,0.08430111851026086,0.0,0.1102984145679605,0.11198530909182394,0.0,0.0,0.09476114891243112,0.07657013341600341,0.16872144588804686,0.0,0.18284570629587893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490936521297996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05688841693997983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211031896652675
mentalhealth,bedmansdog,2018/02/01,"Help, I think my girlfriend is depressed. My girlfriend (W/17) and I (M/18) have been in a relationship for 1 1/2 years now, after around a 2/3 year into our rel. I did something really stupid (I texted with other girls eventually broke up with her and slept with two other girls in the time when we were broke up. Also in that time she got hit by a bus and had some injuries, nothing really bad but still traumatizing. We came back together after two months). 

I am a different person in those things but still, the trust is gone and trust me I regret everything I did every day. We had many fights about stuff like me talking to friends who I know since 5 or 6 years - or even longer (girls) etc. 

The Worst part tho is that she lately feels really alone and that she has no one else but me. She has many troubles in her family and barely to no really good friends - I mean she knows people and talks with them, most of them know her through me tho. And the ones she likes and wants to be better friends with (mostly girls in our ""clique"") don't really take her into the group - like they always go out together but barely invite her to come along. Also, shes always referred to ""(my Name)'s - girlfriend).

Then there is this person on Instagram that sends her messages no one wants to get (something along the lines of ""you look so ugly you should hang yourself, your boyfriend is stupid for choosing you - you should've died in that bus accident"" I know that is hard for her and lowers her self-esteem by ton's, even tho she is incredibly beautiful - like for real.)

I just don't know how to help her anymore or how to get her mood up... I thought about talking with some of the girls and asking them why they don't really take her along?

It's getting worse and worse day by day... she is really scared that she won't be happy anytime soon again - if ever. She is just always really sad and to be honest it hurts our relationship.

If anyone knows how I could help her to ""get"" more friends, or get closer to the people we already know.

I also told her that I would recommend a psychologist because I feel like it is getting pretty serious - she said no...

Please help me, I will try to answer any question and I'll be happy about any, serious, answer!

Kind regards - Bedmansdog

(Yes I know we seem pretty young for those kinds of problems and that friends are complicated in that age but still, her sadness is real and it is getting scarily serious.)",6.297081575246133,6.169700845991564,6.317848101265824,81.03509845288326,65.85654008438819,9.469479606188466,28.947960618846693,9.049649993220411,2.107124331926865,1907,54,379,29,27,605,223,474,0.17800000000000002,0.6509999999999999,0.171,-0.2685,2,1,2,0,1,0,78.0,8,5,5,1,28,38,3,1,13,1,36,1,1,3,1,85,72,39,1,9,13,0,3,5,8,4,0,1,0,7,22,36,0,0,19,0,0,6,8,18,0,5,13,5,70,19,55,49,9,47,0,7,1,0,77,17,0,12,29,265,92,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045691625007809,0.07507104183958284,0.1632068841991968,0.16981525976890713,0.0,0.0,0.09252330290492868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746590273513828,0.047567045866220466,0.0,0.0,0.060559707575737816,0.06359737999568449,0.0,0.0,0.05230964798728933,0.05680088062815259,0.04146948719262969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016560019137284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780637782745256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860045138916549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431514969721686,0.0,0.0,0.1316180893986888,0.0,0.05859276967126504,0.0,0.07060274906382605,0.07107520912420318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682900716674015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586965941662924,0.08986424615345118,0.061535591357267876,0.0573168692914273,0.0,0.06113954822430314,0.0,0.0641311303789317,0.0,0.06879441603218138,0.04859950954847282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627929032695494,0.0,0.2487942544325392,0.0,0.038662113000390116,0.057059002547897975,0.05440853382455648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483501441448812,0.06094009303262957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823920364262824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282581967989632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168224061026655,0.29909307940270463,0.0,0.07673900935489003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617622388451367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057126730832873875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794026009691612,0.0,0.07410288147573105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054299627667477035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527509393225088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829343319342113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366813848512561,0.0,0.09432466754900108,0.11879956690542667,0.0,0.07467476540409798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841869882749758,0.0,0.06509400073398862,0.0,0.0,0.07620738800055908,0.0,0.0,0.15486244731625207,0.34864593024045226,0.0,0.0,0.14607410639095325,0.0,0.0,0.06471059606174827,0.0,0.06810830585432215,0.0,0.0,0.06193050930669365,0.0709684678584547,0.0,0.0,0.05627380356653615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474318685130776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298272780848205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787625355795401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229779584778532,0.16403597676251633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045195052656162735,0.043589858128231976,0.0,0.05400695852812345,0.07933582563995988,0.0,0.0,0.06500406085017821,0.0,0.046186824747001635,0.0,0.13290774290541446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802498373018624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061385058695454485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865352281637616,0.04832543048615452,0.0,0.0,0.1314241965220078
mentalhealth,awesomepiewolf,2018/02/01,"I talk to myself a lot I'm not sure if this is a mental illness or not. It could be a symptom of my depression, but I've always talked to myself a lot.

This only happens when I'm alone. I make up conversations/arguments with other people who I may or may not know. I'm pretty sure this isn't schizoprenia or anything because I'm aware that the people aren't with me, and I'm not hearing voices in my head other than my own.

idk, this is probably a stupid post, but I was just wondering",3.3952981969486835,3.995236019417476,5.385464632454924,82.65922330097091,72.3009708737864,8.215811373092926,26.36477115117892,8.418075326091056,1.683675173370319,382,12,80,6,7,133,64,103,0.208,0.792,0.0,-0.9536,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,6,0,9,3,1,1,2,24,19,8,0,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,2,10,2,8,14,3,4,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,9,1,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032647684295659,0.0,0.0,0.16330291517073142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615041430868087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963744880891493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669655887628714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903728395668155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355087223415136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141799110394867,0.0,0.2211977573424144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785861906709752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337041645889792,0.0,0.0,0.13100416997491832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778255433467692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926354380449489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27212206731404104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879615316755606,0.19966559892877755,0.21160001414308827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699429018841529,0.20398787897064094,0.0,0.3154905305288945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283412942314467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dw_horizon,2018/02/01,"Consumed by this idea that my ex-girlfriend isn't real Dated this girl with BPD for a while. Was a mess of a lovely relationship. Everything went to shit in the end and now my family doesn't want me seeing her.

Lately I've just been consumed by this idea that she might not be real. All the evidence points to her existing but I just feel like she doesn't. We've been hanging out again recently and having to sneak around to see her just makes the problem worse and I'm always wondering if people are just watching me talk and laugh with myself because she isn't really there.

Not sure why I'm posting this. I guess I'm just wondering if anybody has had a similar experience? ",3.616141414141417,5.394893496296297,4.754882154882157,82.83151515151516,73.2962962962963,8.16835016835017,25.60606060606061,8.841846274778883,1.9396666666666675,542,18,105,11,11,178,88,135,0.115,0.807,0.077,-0.4853,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,9,7,1,0,7,0,13,2,1,1,2,32,26,8,0,4,10,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,5,4,13,4,13,19,1,14,0,0,3,1,10,4,1,6,8,71,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889452838385634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789953195598875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442949946821687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950991794028772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720108566750772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921987773120922,0.1515281766960672,0.14603196113526526,0.0,0.0783253267872785,0.11066515821007672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064685634350646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497409251653205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474115870805784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567943906343688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398090677570936,0.0,0.10340122028796496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433120346588256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739258846853024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643661168724248,0.0,0.1483575045448477,0.0,0.0,0.14822449766841458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35263477743452337,0.09923700204956967,0.0,0.15295137517799196,0.16631149413171803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24688067906649325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900918649223206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599744229140196,0.0,0.0,0.1245078910550362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913678041594824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359977838035468,0.13977892565956532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359787509892743,0.0,0.0,0.15786284863178132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kerokerokeroppiq,2018/02/02,"Can someone please help me? I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I just feel so helpless and confused. 

I'll start out by saying that I completely isolated myself throughout the past couple of years, because I felt that everybody hated me and that I deserved to be alone. Now, whenever anyone tries to get closer to me I push them away because I'm afraid that they'll see what I'm really like, and think that I'm a failure. 

I've had some sort of ED for quite a few years. 
I attempted recovery from my ED about 1 year ago, but now I'm stuck in a binge eating cycle that seems never ending, and it's led me to self harm and feel worthless and disgusting and completely out of control. I feel that I use binge eating as a form of self harm, which is why I cannot stop. It's also led me to OD before, because I felt that it was the only way out. I currently see no future for myself whatsoever and I constantly have suicidal thoughts. I feel like I cannot recognize myself or the people around me anymore. 

Regardless of this, I always feel like I'm faking all of my feelings and that I'm making myself worse for an excuse to my failing friendships and relationships and low achievements in every aspect of life. I don't feel that I deserve help because I made myself this way, but I'm tired of making my family upset. I just want honest answers, I want to know if I'm just too pathetic to handle life or if I really have a problem that should be fixed. 

I won't be able to write the rest of the issues that I feel I may have, to avoid making this too long, but this is simply the overall situation that I've been in for the past years. 
",7.8530357142857135,5.4527632321428605,8.387666666666668,74.82400000000004,64.0,11.34095238095238,34.00714285714285,9.725611199111238,2.9874228571428567,1290,39,261,20,15,434,165,336,0.214,0.7,0.086,-0.994,1,2,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,5,12,18,2,4,14,0,20,5,0,8,3,64,56,22,2,8,11,0,10,3,0,4,3,1,0,2,23,15,2,3,15,0,0,3,6,14,0,0,8,13,41,4,36,41,6,34,0,4,2,0,10,12,0,10,20,169,64,2,0.09650398612738018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554496098459081,0.0,0.0,0.09994902554853316,0.0,0.07717420284013607,0.0802990472311249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570602284373628,0.06747783092970447,0.0,0.0,0.08590900768655779,0.0,0.0,0.09066867168363843,0.0,0.0,0.2353117369025426,0.0,0.08211778433996669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236518677877555,0.1042865253345362,0.1082374263423552,0.0,0.10677982511479436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749534010971645,0.0,0.0,0.08547388780823277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130877049511026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097536948607303,0.0,0.3903625200507861,0.13788493394361714,0.1853179210564596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041934969641528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527770701882968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293691753689212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007250889942556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053036066978338084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363272387273983,0.14144091905163633,0.0,0.0,0.08540299091938859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131440504249454,0.1932514803172787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442982338346822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339563008603536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424794882444834,0.06690371299568165,0.0,0.10082612567668894,0.10593239716472316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234128157589433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264386815692107,0.0,0.0,0.123645849277985,0.0,0.0,0.10360916549219792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674384315487448,0.0,0.0,0.1538023650606371,0.08785360453412598,0.2013494085363716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847452376569196,0.0,0.0,0.08176751427845744,0.0,0.0,0.10802831157188826,0.06830601808425038,0.0,0.0,0.08068165356494213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055596975925932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183585765025255,0.0,0.07661338538528499,0.0,0.11091713574357193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551987189247123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334845919166456,0.0,0.0,0.11384110269998632,0.1532007445942059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870798372451248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834580642998796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485816122342528
mentalhealth,Castiel87,2018/02/02,BPD I suffer with BPD and just having a really rough time of late and I can see my self slipping in to more of deeper episode but I can’t breathe I can’t see a future I have lost my love for the last few things i held dear and I can’t even live the house to go and see my therapist.,1.0115384615384642,1.8242855384615384,2.913846153846155,97.32615384615387,78.23076923076924,6.430769230769231,19.15384615384616,6.742157984588678,-0.22570769230769194,220,4,58,2,5,74,43,65,0.08199999999999999,0.773,0.145,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,0,0,8,13,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,4,10,2,7,11,2,6,0,2,3,1,2,1,0,0,4,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5310167891535111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923832061701105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119808442536469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24324696686455186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718386613822447,0.2378033811164984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861494983903722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301245197929882,0.0,0.19026467072321954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505057877451473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5039659286490867,0.0,0.2199212858137144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447671922533579,0.14005310234942225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292527450805064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Echoxway,2018/02/02,"I recently started therapy and I'm really confused about it I'm worried about something and I hope that it isn't a dumb question. 

I recently went to the psychologist and then I asked them to sing me up for therapy because I felt like I needed it. 
I think I might be ill, something related to anxiety, but the psychologist and therapist acted like I only have problems with shyness. My therapist told me I should smile more, that I should talk to people, start liking myself and don't stress that much, but I didn't find that helpful at all. 

Is it possible that she is wrong about me and that I'm actually mentally ill? Do therapists diagnose people or was I supposed to go to someone else? Is it too early to worry about this? 

I'm completely new to all that stuff, I've had issues with 'shyness' since elementary school but everybody always kept telling me I would grow out of it. Now I'm in high school, I'm going to be an adult soon and I don't know how to deal with this. 
It's not like I want to be diagnosed with anything serious but I'm really worried that I'm wasting time and only getting worse. 

(I'm also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm still learning) ",4.1416536228225205,5.4084589442060125,5.758727594041911,78.18704872506946,71.14592274678111,9.259176975511236,31.30244887654633,9.627879704456738,3.0558939156778595,926,41,176,22,17,316,127,233,0.191,0.72,0.09,-0.9702,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,10,12,1,2,4,0,18,4,0,1,2,39,43,16,0,8,6,0,1,4,0,4,4,0,0,1,18,13,0,1,6,1,0,5,5,7,0,0,7,1,24,5,26,29,4,21,0,0,0,0,10,5,1,5,15,115,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.10358276324296442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488457283690297,0.08832161619529491,0.0,0.0,0.07218262651493204,0.0,0.08120106942362908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734875874536553,0.0,0.09923177801539904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647053533933426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129160914275643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943142036044108,0.0,0.2154710355058296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867100223921394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191639167615373,0.0,0.09701512668479582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055456678581574326,0.0,0.12064994548899086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114713716059362,0.11214862099138843,0.0,0.10542649989403144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078839610365004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833482854019549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742945273612556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696976741541507,0.1126036742087372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802920616534896,0.07870559412979186,0.0,0.1025160515607896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145697600152814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717594454730568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196631798990751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015669738503016,0.0,0.0,0.11890732935410245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599913847842662,0.0,0.20961188693414096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148499644706327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780471119998351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993679579483155,0.16343208897850395,0.0,0.1188212737495564,0.1502607595256151,0.0,0.08476798817463313,0.0,0.12158939016965675,0.0,0.12151128090902805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531578729470572,0.09277590548638473,0.0,0.2427734166779685,0.3697295588397936,0.0,0.06801379437009775,0.0,0.0,0.0618943346338097,0.0,0.0,0.1014266395380137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260740648003632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839800549227654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233879319371311,0.10817140264348417,0.07540276644770717,0.1160535162218938,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VikkBlack,2018/02/02,"Can't focus, bored and annoyed Im annoyed and anxious even right now that I may not disclose enough info for you to be able to help me.

School gives some order to my life, I go in, write, go home and I feel like theres more order.

Now I havent been in school for 2 days due to sickness and Im fucking bored. I can't do any shit that keeps me focused. I keep listening to music, lookign at tabs, hard to focus etc. Nothing helps. I feel like there is no fking order, dont know what to do, bored.

I had this for a very long time. Last summer it was this and I was depressed and it drove me wrong. I guess I learned to manage it. Nowadays I can somewhat focus. Last week I was obsessed about something for days. I also get this that one day I feel all good, everyone likes me, I have good jokes, other days Im fking tired. I even get bored in breaks between classes. Last week I could study but now, today I couldn't get done anything. I dont even know what the fuck task I should get done. How do I focus.

Sorry for swearing please help",0.352859327217125,2.4653720458715647,1.809380733944956,98.268627675841,85.42201834862385,4.0003058103975535,18.716360856269112,4.7782277997778095,-0.6593400611620797,798,21,182,2,24,256,119,218,0.122,0.742,0.136,0.2139,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,11,18,5,1,2,0,23,6,1,1,1,27,42,9,0,3,2,0,4,3,0,2,3,1,1,0,12,6,0,2,7,1,0,3,8,12,0,1,8,5,28,6,19,29,6,29,0,1,0,2,7,5,3,4,20,110,40,5,0.1027367890933582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082158573120179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986453957809641,0.0,0.0,0.1160633288111101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454362368208886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202696632243325,0.0,0.0,0.2650269190508485,0.0,0.08848704590441768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027080938761966,0.24081350334747256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061545664082582,0.11457867708281795,0.20357004078728613,0.0,0.0,0.0981694046670774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584042238216514,0.1467903653121524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18995701207649088,0.2147029279867328,0.09855448957600592,0.1167753696239784,0.17234148875513036,0.0,0.0,0.11317615583435192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203198346574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658691239212354,0.0,0.10305337610640454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332920085827046,0.0,0.0,0.18263435723299185,0.0,0.0,0.11292290497312035,0.25123258562300177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256603242445171,0.1505760171460515,0.0,0.0,0.09091882540940804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857871996160156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961710713865951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277414314576427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773665654144923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795023083575384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054578376370024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909179950945439,0.0,0.115005424205206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990664790770965,0.1180808258706078,0.097382463363062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476861046898124,0.0,0.0,0.16481851044620804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232655098224344,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mypatronusislove,2018/02/02,"Let's Share Coping Strategies!! I don't know about you but I am constantly looking for strategies to help me cope with my difficult emotions. Why don't we share what works well for us, what helps us cope or brings us strength in our toughest moments.",3.093125000000001,5.73906372916667,2.65816666666667,93.1035,78.375,5.506666666666668,28.35,6.742157984588678,1.3113699999999997,201,9,39,2,5,59,38,48,0.121,0.602,0.277,0.8765,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,5,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,10,4,6,6,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,1,0,1,2,25,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233286232348978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428324511867693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28939546511015285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864029609093855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22074875174230232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128222222337967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7790199751482739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409925481544485,0.0,0.19479532067360847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571609509957325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway150302,2018/02/02,I’ve started hurting myself and I don’t know how to stop I burned myself for the first time 2 weeks ago and now I think I’m addicted. I’m going to my GP on Monday but I don’t know if anything will help. I don’t know what to do.,-1.4916666666666671,0.18456538888889185,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,89.55555555555556,4.340740740740742,16.407407407407412,5.46131890053228,-0.8366814814814818,177,4,46,1,6,63,35,54,0.075,0.848,0.077,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,10,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,8,0,5,12,0,10,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347502495684478,0.0,0.0,0.27219790885116296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25269140749765795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26119251175498576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451424025957538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582170241192127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287234350742728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062708437424239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173448332956956,0.0,0.0,0.2567232146728914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967572484771932,0.0,0.0,0.1790542505628706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463120195967139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lavalampelephant,2018/02/02,"Anyone ever had taped therapy sessions? Never had any kind of therapy and I'm currently trying to reach out after years of delaying. There is only one psychologist/therapist willing to treat me. However they made it clear that *all* sessions will be taped (video). It's hard enough talking about the stuff but being recorded just fills me with anxiety and dysphoria. I'm afraid I'd just shut down and it'll only make things worse. I don't know if it's worth it or I just shouldn't get treatment.  
  
Do any of you have experience with taped sessions? What helped you get accustomed to it? Were you able to speak freely?",2.3164102564102578,5.181737393162393,3.185333333333337,86.11800000000002,85.32478632478632,6.880683760683763,23.18461538461539,8.021203637495839,1.7004420512820522,493,18,91,11,15,156,82,117,0.063,0.836,0.101,0.5362,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,1,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,13,0,0,2,4,21,20,6,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,1,1,1,1,1,3,1,0,1,4,2,8,2,13,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,6,59,18,3,0.19575268138369584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662370719727673,0.0,0.14975026545987666,0.0,0.0,0.1368748263000266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022648478594855,0.0,0.0,0.17706950736406324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914836843878429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454539325801546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753559527746935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120889604206132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384629442692045,0.1075805543135942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852259202270782,0.13066643486809928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097653565312205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264708302480566,0.29775747029191274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240899867656368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733859031643233,0.0,0.0,0.4477205023552043,0.2272839507230704,0.13004938333422633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290322111605066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994887059494222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605830880733726
mentalhealth,60lemons,2018/02/02,"Was/is this depression? I didn't know if this should go to /r/depression, but anyway; here's the story :

So I remember being in 6th grade, and basically being some kind of ""freak"", as others said. I always overreacted to anything, whether it be a prank or anything else. They'd always come to me, laughing at me for my unnatural reaction, and me crying afterwards. I think I was depressed, because at home I'd often sit on my bed, hoping for death or just something to end this pain. After that, I spent my whole 7th grade just pretending to be the ""normal"" guy, and after a few months, I became that guy. I got new friends, and everything went back nicely, I stopped overreacting, as I knew there were some people that cared about me.

I think it was some kind of harrassment, but really, I don't care about it anymore, it's the past and I'm not rancorous. (And let me clarify : I know harrassment is NOT ok, and that I should've talked to an adult about it)

Anyway, I'm in 8th grade now, and have gotten over this. What makes me bring this up is that a classmate is reacting just like me back then, and I think she is depressed. Perhaps I was one of the lucky ones to get over it quickly, but even if it takes longer for her to recover, I know how it feels like to constantly think about death and suicide (even though i haven't tried to). How can I help her?

TLDR : I think I was depressed in 6th grade but have gotten over  it, and a classmate of mine is reacting just like me back then. How can i help her?",3.6562911507097553,4.813767780730903,4.564513742071885,86.70609408033829,72.18936877076412,7.997644216248868,25.641951072183627,8.438071523408619,1.501902325581395,1166,36,247,19,22,378,147,301,0.16399999999999998,0.711,0.125,-0.9509,0,0,1,0,0,2,53.0,0,0,1,0,25,19,0,0,9,1,24,1,0,6,0,53,51,29,3,5,15,0,1,3,1,1,1,1,2,3,21,12,0,1,11,1,1,4,5,6,0,2,13,2,39,13,35,31,5,31,0,4,0,0,13,10,0,10,19,179,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754174899028972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453741902762036,0.0,0.0,0.17348527648503362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24315907899294376,0.0,0.06425635741561947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149430326821066,0.0,0.0,0.09080053321344377,0.0,0.11390969840666045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578685378885148,0.0,0.0,0.4539431525255293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805570657574599,0.0,0.0933611005894372,0.0,0.0,0.13924332106878898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473482622733158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329796537185436,0.07530422166217424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143874381826274,0.0,0.0550718599488772,0.0,0.059906372602496635,0.0,0.08430521891073392,0.0,0.0,0.20874299525197507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130688218942872,0.0,0.10573383697015212,0.10469493640020286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195345375217739,0.17379011453679866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778785992392736,0.0,0.1544925615255606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036133629270146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413647043015708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018046839167086,0.0,0.0,0.10327845463712207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285575368112907,0.0,0.11216262427183132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062483247626393,0.07307733904429982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752771441617092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940786618663292,0.0,0.10026811206530864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114900987206848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812665677614305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530035427010756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925446126560287,0.08472377375451626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377092041882815,0.1035638224379048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156580222586834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771521332184456,0.0,0.11768540131910628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PracticallySane,2018/02/02,"How do I navigate getting help and support from my OH Ill try to long story short this..

Didn't have the best of childhoods. Went through a lot of trauma including alcoholic parents, physical and mental abuse, grooming etc.

I've been through a lot, but I pulled myself through. I have a lovely flat, a good job, friends.

I do however struggle, I have problems and they are recurring problems I know are linked to my past and I need to deal with.

Whilst looking in to what might be going on with me I came across BPD. I fit (based on what the web says) most of the criteria. Although not all of them, its been enough to make me go hmm.. There might be something in this.

Im hoping to start seeing a counsellor soon to try and work out what my problems are and how to start having healthy relationships, particular with my partner now. We are rowing a lot.

Whilst I know I tick a few boxes, im very very reluctant to self diagnose and especially BPD. Im not qualified at all. And the more I read online the more it scares me. I dont think I am BPD I think I relate to parts of it.

My problem is I think its all been overload for my partner and he can't really understand my position or how to help.

I'm starting to feel like I dont have a voice in our relationship and he now only sees me as BPD. Even though I have never in any way been diagnosed. 

We had a conversation where I disagreed with something he said, in a response he said 'I think you're being irrational, odd, and not to label it, but BPD.'

I do not know where to go with this. Its been mentioned a few times in a row 'I am being BPD'. 

It shuts me down and makes me feel broken, put in a corner and point blank wrong / crazy. As if all my opinions now are BPD talking.

I've tried to explain I really don't like this being thrown in my face and I am at the point of considering ending our relationship over it. I don't want to, but as he is the only person I have who knows the turmoil im going through now trying to help myself.. It hurts he is so unsupportive.

How do I ask / explain to him I need him to be better / more helpful?
And more so in what way can I ask him to help? 


tl;dr: I have a few issues i'm trying to get help with, some elements of BPD resonate with me so I brought it up to the OH. Now he only sees me as BPD. I am not diagnosed with anything.

Edited spelling",1.5267033218785784,3.3852225134020637,3.4545704467353966,89.49143184421537,79.5360824742268,6.537915234822452,23.561282932416955,7.554174236665415,0.9990856815578472,1809,62,395,27,45,610,211,485,0.128,0.762,0.11,-0.7401,3,0,3,0,1,0,58.0,4,0,2,3,18,19,0,3,23,0,45,7,1,6,5,78,88,33,0,9,10,1,2,2,3,2,5,4,0,4,19,27,1,0,14,1,0,9,12,10,0,0,12,10,61,9,65,68,20,55,0,1,4,1,44,26,0,11,20,278,80,5,0.0,0.06590477244074731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059444623860622624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03782589921305066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045773415352290944,0.0,0.10400096020794776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058373449765709885,0.04919448090326094,0.0,0.0,0.6305028562352191,0.0,0.0,0.06361848557996047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057345403972502165,0.0,0.16937009774829564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303806961553203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049265926441844084,0.05747396253109718,0.06203492526354725,0.036738808615058065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05624984334871492,0.0397374519124803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297459152833346,0.0,0.058121984083891326,0.0,0.12644850702911334,0.04665436731742567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22369962713759028,0.0,0.0,0.05524670342317598,0.0,0.0,0.05954612576142301,0.0,0.2403317751473857,0.05805650067506616,0.05519775812525938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222769218305219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434968185448223,0.0,0.0,0.049225062489117496,0.046709745437335706,0.0,0.0,0.14186737601812224,0.050202396099952716,0.0,0.07425825951623949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056055422702884605,0.1180155236040844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248826663133185,0.04290028566521111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691257432038094,0.0,0.0,0.06176333342319576,0.060234848823214275,0.05309894124747898,0.0,0.04856830985526092,0.0,0.0,0.10516440602022276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128967759543255,0.0,0.05591699826030645,0.0,0.0,0.055638569868706786,0.0,0.07126769907828877,0.0,0.0,0.1791565233568732,0.0,0.0,0.1058214053237277,0.04423405356516725,0.05568884447336308,0.0,0.13297422519247742,0.0,0.05802745963958737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564340235805062,0.0,0.0,0.11811183562951798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058149777499808535,0.0,0.0,0.06312090832589408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044708076268519054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425652157674408,0.054649823385214825,0.0,0.03243452028214855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882358530219015,0.0,0.0,0.057906043235201675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179045436764907,0.03280819169159016,0.08830271802948121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051563557856212236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040494583107297685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060815584301596365,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FloralBo1,2018/02/02,"I don't know what's going on with me? I'm going to preface this by saying that I have a history of social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and depression going back to my teen and early college years that has severely impacted my life and my ability to function normally as a person. But for the past six months or so my brain's been doing some really bizarre stuff I can't find any information on, and neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist has been particularly helpful. I figured I'd ask strangers on the internet about it, because what the hell. 

In addition to heightened anxiety (I'm having sometimes 3 panic attacks a day now without anything to trigger them) and a sense of high stress that won't go away, my brain keeps getting stuck in repetitive thought cycles I can't break out of. Namely, It's nearly impossible for me to think about anything BUT my mental health, and how I'm feeling in the moment. This is basically all day every day, and it impacts my ability to focus on anything else. My brain also seems incredibly focused on comparing how I am and what I'm doing in the moment to how I was and what I was doing in the past, to the point that it's incredibly difficult for me to be just in the moment. Sometimes at night I can break out of this, but it's getting rarer and rarer for whatever reason.

There's also this weird sense of stress surrounding all these activities I used to find enjoyable, which makes it very difficult for me in my leisure time. I can't focus on anything because of this weird deep seated anxiety and stress, and I have to be very deliberate in how I spend my time, otherwise I wind up staring at my phone mindlessly for several hours. It almost feels like I don't have any likes or interests at all at this point, which makes me feel very much not like myself. 

All in all, with these obsessive thoughts and inability to enjoy things, I just don't feel like myself and feel very divorced from what used to be my identity as a person. My psychiatrist is just sort of putting me on random meds at this point on the off chance that something will help, and says that because my brain is wired differently than other people's (I'm on the autism spectrum) there's not really a label he can put on this.

I'd be very interested in what anyone has to say about what might be going on here, or if anyone has any recommendations. I'm absolutely terrified about living the rest of my life like this. ",10.409823818019623,7.250110673728816,10.37342105263158,64.93678858162357,59.847457627118644,13.83514719000892,41.367528991971454,12.017980161545427,4.834468644067797,1946,78,357,46,19,651,208,472,0.116,0.8,0.084,-0.8986,1,0,1,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,1,0,19,21,2,5,17,0,35,7,4,10,5,71,65,32,0,2,13,0,5,5,0,3,3,3,0,2,36,20,0,1,15,0,1,7,12,12,0,1,7,9,42,9,73,50,9,65,1,1,1,0,15,38,1,10,23,253,78,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287543004032508,0.0,0.0,0.11639912527905275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847211288014994,0.0,0.22269614222585765,0.0,0.0,0.10177442988579324,0.0,0.2395563474580244,0.0,0.06803646278029031,0.08279409075503717,0.06837617808667815,0.055960849622717135,0.0,0.13309214414605738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249718094734008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080500236321775,0.0,0.06268253178359948,0.0,0.0,0.07603624269597796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079565905392851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131757384492215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399062690093995,0.10398348871476798,0.0,0.0,0.13303331226799076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604572494202995,0.0,0.20680359885398686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735831124216723,0.0,0.0,0.09756147972275096,0.07689266110658033,0.0,0.0,0.07167046603054678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064687343695484,0.0,0.0,0.039996213613684564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280878036698743,0.17777528684444385,0.0,0.06426322782766385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715812814812212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808385934056213,0.0,0.07334187439678654,0.07720466006401505,0.0,0.0,0.058089729435907726,0.0,0.053499305234866665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829607561009328,0.07130578993576034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538786771412027,0.0,0.0,0.13894733789509173,0.05045425403842376,0.12709174989007624,0.0,0.0,0.2063927346930237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632152485192793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324533439079498,0.07482664818185097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736250434413517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625324489303178,0.0,0.16443408688253108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418675962259401,0.0,0.0560271188387129,0.14395618760641227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25009665807274856,0.0,0.08331199849779539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449944789820975,0.04834965714158241,0.04663242039752004,0.0,0.11555326411322885,0.08487344838204032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257115381335823,0.0,0.30024231601725365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015421642401863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04686585860248695
mentalhealth,shihoshi333,2018/02/02,"Should I be concerned about switching writing hand? I had been diagnosed with depression years ago, but I’m off medicine. I have a feeling I’m bipolar more than depressed now. At work I somehow ended up with a pen in my left hand as I normally write with my right. I wrote legible cursive. I can even draw. 
Out of daily isolation and loneliness, I talk to myself a lot out loud, never answer myself or have different personas. However, I can ration with myself out loud sometimes. 
When I write in my diary I switch between “I” and “you”. 
I have a doctors appointment Monday, I want to prepare myself because I’m honestly afraid of what they may say.",2.5304181184668977,5.2592117804878065,3.953501742160277,82.36628048780491,81.60162601626016,6.766318234610917,29.11091753774681,7.957251820313856,2.4638088269454124,511,25,88,10,14,168,82,123,0.119,0.768,0.112,-0.4343,2,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,1,5,4,0,1,4,0,10,5,2,0,1,24,16,6,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,6,23,1,20,10,2,17,0,2,0,0,8,10,0,4,7,69,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817940606678107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003857155065886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239828394229971,0.2498167824021361,0.0,0.25715347769130603,0.0,0.2519244979320734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799813643702612,0.0,0.0,0.16256655241129842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445073005345385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267420979508726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925093553025295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18983063961401125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411551545862541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019368644143416,0.0,0.19573246543216954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434288765831479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782998137113228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517385879423375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17918558100406126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849965881146866
mentalhealth,junpor,2018/02/02,"Help Although I've never been officially diagnosed me and my friend have discussed my problems. We be pretty much come to the conclusion that I have borderline personality disorder. I know I suffer from depression and mild anxiety. But I've noticed something that I can't determine what it may be or it's nothing idk. But for example my father and I have a good relationship kind of but some days I can talk to him for hours then the next day the sound of his voice drives me crazy and I can't function. But it's not just him it's everyone. So is that anything or is it nothing
Thanks for any help you can give 
",3.032667660208645,5.147285426229511,4.50102831594635,82.54657973174369,75.88524590163935,8.370789865871833,28.30402384500745,9.095868883498916,2.5153016393442624,490,21,97,12,11,163,79,122,0.129,0.767,0.104,-0.4873,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,1,1,0,1,2,7,0,0,4,0,13,1,0,0,1,20,17,13,0,1,8,1,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,2,17,4,8,13,2,8,0,2,0,0,14,0,0,4,6,69,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920742115594186,0.0,0.14535049889271254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635490704022112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636693236156589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450702813920821,0.0,0.16364786880527485,0.19284735244255355,0.0,0.0,0.2177579873693332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155441501576644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467945577534396,0.0,0.0,0.18226659072477694,0.0,0.15936410269572174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547077755128993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711303912661326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978571490434008,0.10441976308098866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396728408238852,0.0,0.1465407404179487,0.0,0.2020685720573352,0.0,0.0,0.3646228047593283,0.21631777575655248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590183437425987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329966131493606,0.0,0.1818056144451286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399032451130047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627230796785035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527158735067286,0.0,0.174927698984546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dead-man-here,2018/02/02,Got on meds on my first visit to psychologist Finally decided to visit a psychologist for my depression but she prescribed me to take meds for my depression on my first visit. Is it normal for psychologists to do that? ,9.411749999999998,8.738172675000001,10.5,55.40500000000003,59.75,15.0,40.0,13.816669648895859,6.16025,177,8,28,7,2,62,24,40,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,6,0,10,3,0,9,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577478643438029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910955903534689,0.0,0.4520617229568855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21252955185426528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5903350173494745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603602002797709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979682578210112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__MHthrowaway,2018/02/02,"Bugs + spying I’ve tried googling around to find others who have the same feeling I do but I must not be doing it right because I can’t find anything. Sorry if I don’t make sense or phrased anything weirdly. 

I feel like all of my senses are bugged somehow, that people can see through my eyes and feel anything I’m feeling, etc. My thoughts are being sent somewhere too, the same place that my senses are being broadcasted. Some of my pets probably have a camera in their eyes to spy on me, but I know for sure that most of them do not. 

When there are no bugs or cameras there are actual people, hiding in my house and watching. I just can’t see them for some reason, like they’re invisible. I have to do things like push the shower curtain all the way back to make sure nobody is in there, because even if I can’t see them then I’ll definitely be able to feel them. 

I don’t know who would want to spy on me and for what. I know that what this doesn’t make sense to a lot of people and most likely isn’t really happening, but I also can’t stop thinking it. When I don’t think this way, I feel embarrassed over it but then it’ll come back and I’ll feel stupid for being fooled. 

I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve been anxious every night in my house. I don’t want to be around people anymore in case they’re the ones who know. I don’t know what to do. ",3.1871874999999967,3.887722788194445,4.079472222222221,91.46275,72.85416666666667,6.871111111111111,23.427777777777766,6.742157984588678,0.4820202777777785,1065,26,243,8,20,343,129,288,0.094,0.816,0.08900000000000001,-0.5106,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,5,0,16,10,1,1,7,0,37,2,2,5,5,60,65,19,0,6,11,0,7,4,0,3,0,0,3,0,19,9,0,1,19,0,0,3,15,4,0,1,3,13,31,6,30,53,10,25,0,0,6,0,10,12,0,10,12,165,50,0,0.10186780245898394,0.0,0.0994082805928024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146364482262612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508162126147868,0.10102548734424388,0.0,0.0,0.2514855651733759,0.18136788283357053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666010433354413,0.0,0.12419533375247613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775009182675222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502123133501674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136095272792478,0.06728272278603263,0.0,0.08582801709398788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605519519577863,0.07277437843084747,0.0,0.0,0.18621065191333372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008136129089554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350835340094069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359032809496313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990698509600224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660436282353925,0.0,0.0,0.2039926474734645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559603189356773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902825930565665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824892314902215,0.0,0.10643017211310364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983072039802326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525912272938468,0.10473706698637687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869945467037559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435263490728957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403266481300765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516604419395937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920183965233394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767644150649706,0.1305455491482667,0.0,0.0808716564084801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916155109147909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201685383881244,0.16171584007206113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236396413682605,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ConfuesdHylian,2018/02/02,"Need advice and perspectives on BPD, very stressed and hurt Hey guys,

My partner has BPD, and is incredibly difficult to handle. Most nights she's not only highly critical of everything I say but also everything I appear to be thinking or could be thinking. Every day it's ""I'm just having a bad day today"" but everything from me trying to make jokes to having a slight difference of opinion is a fork in the road with consequences and hostility.

Has anyone here been with anyone with BPD or have BPD themselves?

I'm not sure how much of this is just garden variety depression or whether it's attributed to her treatment of me. When I first started dating her, everything was pretty ok she was just a bit fiery and I was a really calm, carefree guy who enjoyed pursuits of intellect and getting lost in books or games. Now I'm afraid to see anyone I know, make friends, change plans, or do anything I enjoy. I am in constant fear that I'm going to upset her or make her feel worse, because I love her. Sometimes she's great and the BPD takes a back seat but I'm concerned that this might be a result of exposing myself to controlling behavior.

About 2 years ago was the worst, when she was explosively angry, and emotionally and physically abusive. I again can't tell if its the rest of my complicated life or not but I'm so down all the time, so tense, and really tired. I feel like I have a child.

Is it possible to love harmoniously with someone with BPD or is it always going to be this hard? Has anyone gone through something similar where they've lost all sense of identity, and their own personal life from being so close to someone with BPD?

Thanks. Any input or stories are more than welcome.",5.518790658882402,6.573134669724772,6.156665276619407,77.39611551292745,67.74617737003058,9.49285515707534,31.071587433972763,9.688023934748609,2.948426299694189,1355,53,248,29,22,442,185,327,0.183,0.6459999999999999,0.171,-0.4141,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,5,16,25,1,4,13,1,29,5,0,7,3,60,57,33,0,3,21,0,3,1,2,1,3,1,1,5,11,18,0,1,5,4,0,4,4,12,0,1,9,5,26,13,35,41,9,29,0,4,1,2,24,9,0,14,17,167,37,1,0.0,0.0906537615180767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476627210088216,0.06782293699538207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061186316957210565,0.06366379922865126,0.0,0.0,0.052030527069183784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399482204707596,0.0,0.06296254619413419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883271500540321,0.06388400898557066,0.04664077498699736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353087555207359,0.0,0.6745459718144662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093915164078634,0.0,0.0,0.08268188278799526,0.08581429067086949,0.061088304845573524,0.0,0.0,0.09868733386787223,0.0,0.06589934843920943,0.0,0.0,0.07993836095723203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606527725181462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446434196697089,0.0,0.2750548516108206,0.0,0.0,0.08609684693194918,0.0773731506158851,0.05465991847932981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508074710489571,0.0,0.0,0.059112689832119314,0.0,0.03997416491222761,0.0,0.08696663667900607,0.0,0.0,0.08435433403573883,0.0,0.1515170710453719,0.0,0.0,0.068539385443057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083873006556475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190727445352568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04204878683389225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808484353190888,0.03737971405522468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704294856078825,0.0,0.1381094532349024,0.0,0.15321630664118316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116674055626484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056244846157451206,0.05673239868902799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718009747787134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058190536739600764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680699767097098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625535840865346,0.0,0.07783982661779426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803060927027436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608451132500266,0.0,0.0,0.06096985722588229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965609909333575,0.05890238510377727,0.07567195115703096,0.0,0.05415532028552834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087643805192364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211129883074655,0.0,0.05752721821274818,0.0,0.06687453054619455,0.07044162243731074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805111672735316,0.0,0.0,0.0446145424332456,0.08793885487421738,0.07252407196374243,0.0,0.0,0.05194636939642807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313010159743758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797188000895341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927097642785508
mentalhealth,wonder-maker,2018/02/02,"What should you do when you notice that your depression is affecting everyone you interact with? I have been undergoing treatment for major depression for 10 years, I'm doing much better but I still go through periodic major depressive episodes of varying severity. 

I'll have days now where I'm high functioning, but still very much depressed to the point I can actually witness the life force drain from people's faces while speaking to them. 

Has anyone else experienced this problem and what do you do to work through it?",9.596774193548388,9.731665666666668,8.666150537634412,66.05922580645165,59.0,12.601290322580645,41.18064516129033,11.979248473330829,5.269436129032259,429,21,68,12,5,134,70,93,0.17600000000000002,0.804,0.02,-0.9482,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,1,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,11,2,1,1,0,7,14,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,2,9,1,10,12,4,12,0,4,0,0,8,3,0,0,8,48,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.17725825636849807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700964720745125,0.18611565426949492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064927966774334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714529668054345,0.0,0.6257985434525054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151740181042504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356854278596034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323242158625004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191676673498376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830046740514478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26705835213615564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068027985631989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592901798076975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171221002471224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380869292992282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20520591849313785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29012212667963394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987525128616838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223893183110544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697272436417867
mentalhealth,Bpike1,2018/02/02,"Is it possible to have a mental health issue that no one else has ever had? I have an odd form of psychosis/schitzophrenia where I don’t see things that aren’t there, but instead there is a constant visual distortion to everything. Specifically, everything in my reality looks like an overexposed photograph, or like those pictures after a bomb has just gone off, and everything has that stark scary look to it. There is also a redness to everything, meaning everything has a slightly red tint to it. Yes, I have had my eyes examined and there is no problem there. I have also had MRIs, and there is no physical abnormality. Another symptom I have is thought disorder, and I have had a stay in an institution where I was diagnosed with schitzophrenia with major depression. But still, neither myself, or any therapist I have met with, has heard of a psychological disorder that causes a perpetual visual distortion that effects how everything looks like I have described above. At one point I thought this was derealization disorder, but this is not what this is. With derealization, it doesn’t make things look reddish, or like an overexposed photograph. 

So on top of how awful this disorder is, there is also the loneliness of very possibly having a mental disorder that possibly no one else on this planet has. Is that possible? If it’s not true, then does anyone else have this? ",9.322270168855534,9.2144792195122,9.250162601626016,62.4475891181989,59.65040650406504,13.748092557848658,40.46779237023139,12.896187039172386,5.70621488430269,1112,53,178,38,13,364,118,246,0.21,0.721,0.069,-0.9903,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,19,7,0,0,14,2,36,4,1,5,2,30,48,18,0,2,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,22,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,10,2,0,3,11,10,13,5,20,37,3,17,0,1,9,0,2,10,0,4,9,147,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152052485946625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712180786557889,0.08807967015977804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058733650213403335,0.08606631053189735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628951854473912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077245395381443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234771838859268,0.08525663088898001,0.0,0.0,0.4813473484891309,0.0,0.07350758576134762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050971117442985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598138233384204,0.0,0.0,0.4529541964465558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928639538822457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767252982487712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641495456306796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28215007810320913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606959941160417,0.0,0.0,0.09149890730321064,0.0,0.0,0.1693013068862213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075851535613662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940566014240713,0.37878240240344657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037514629043095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693586758054072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953114225388754,0.06708124887449747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730652360834336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975286429341509,0.11160963922581828,0.0,0.0,0.13337072982004058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930749575510449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dietthecoke,2018/02/02,"Fixated on Tracing Words/Patterns on Surfaces Since I was a child, I have a habit of tracing words from my thoughts on my lap whether I'm anxious or just plain bored. I'm currently in my early 20s and I still haven't broken the habit yet. On the contrary, my habit gradually adapted into a new form. I would trace not only words, but also random patterns (i.e. geometric flowers, symbols, etc.) on any surface readily available like on my laptop or on the table. I tried googling it but I can't find an accurate answer to this strange fixation. 

To give you a glimpse of my background, I have a history of PTSD and major depressive disorder. I am currently unemployed so seeking professional advice is not an option for me now.

So my questions for anyone who is reading this are:

* Have you experienced the same thing too? Or do you know anyone who is experiencing something similar to this?

* Why do I have this habit?

* How do I break this habit?",3.5714177131526768,6.04899901685393,4.801394580304032,79.28825181758098,75.68539325842696,7.7837409120951735,31.81890284203569,8.671277953709913,2.9773115664243237,747,38,131,16,17,246,109,178,0.079,0.8909999999999999,0.03,-0.8143,5,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,0,9,3,0,0,11,0,16,0,0,1,0,24,21,12,0,1,9,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,2,21,1,18,18,4,19,0,1,0,0,8,11,0,6,8,97,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143478136592096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541536975310504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916658818788794,0.0,0.0,0.24780483600166894,0.0,0.30675143317491377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892718417806895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513959007613153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446349813902457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048335934676872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042201164466806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205498852839102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716409629375252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185111132875192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668267518936813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25641024481490665,0.0,0.2457239572269624,0.0,0.21941092774087864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814498838417158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886755366472905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517444562571494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572743505750088,0.0,0.0,0.17414064325660364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892531611893292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197930672248546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558210604681433,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blondefrodobaggins,2018/02/02,"Had my first breakdown in a while I have no idea what triggered it but i think it was long overdue. what’s nice about it is i feel like i have a clean slate. i can choose how i want to go forward. i know i want to be happy, so i’ll be taking extra steps to make sure my mental state is always healthy. i hope it works out ✌️",-0.9564864864864866,0.7854751756756748,1.2526351351351366,102.55706081081085,87.7837837837838,3.7,16.006756756756758,3.1291,-1.3243459459459457,249,5,65,0,8,83,53,74,0.02,0.622,0.358,0.9803,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,3,1,14,18,4,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,11,5,6,14,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,41,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23563306755331084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318712554685528,0.20230781730823905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24087748869512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609408771056045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014562894588222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28126715340567804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196820224990988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563137526524282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835015807750126,0.0,0.0,0.2506103051340174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890285571521625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853844338154357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668990345316259,0.0,0.21292029472815552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814538693215172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340603552323555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616245700121286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChelleyBelle1985,2018/02/02,"Stigma I think the stigma around mental health hasn't really improved. I mean, look at all the suicide awareness campaignes for example, yet we hardly ever talk about it. It's the least talked about subject in mental health, yet we hear ads telling us we can prevent suicide. Other mental issues get more of a mention, but still little is said because as a whole, mental health isn't something people want to talk about readily. The other thing I take into consideration is that mental health is so hard to analyse at times because people can choose to, or not to, talk about their mental health. And, their mental health care is determined by how honest people are too. Some people may simply give basic answers to their doctors without expounding their thought, or may simply evade the subject or outright lie for fear of being judged, or the person may not be interested in hearing what the doctor has to say, or may not even want help whether they need it or not. And since mental health is invisible, people can't just look at someone and accurately judge that someone has mental problems or mental illness, except when they happen to see the person when they're going through a mental breakdown. If you don't notice someone's behaviour, then how do you know they are having trouble with their mental state?",12.749743230625588,9.243215701680676,10.985518207282913,63.402292250233444,55.84873949579832,12.426517273576096,42.41083099906629,9.444778638647367,4.258401867413632,1059,38,164,11,9,328,135,238,0.13,0.82,0.051,-0.9529,0,0,1,0,0,2,23.0,4,2,8,0,17,6,0,1,11,0,23,10,0,2,2,47,42,20,2,5,17,0,2,0,0,4,10,4,0,2,9,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,2,9,17,3,28,34,5,18,0,0,3,0,28,8,0,13,8,123,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309108771053975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271039673041828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608056300159812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208547443127173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039390799308332725,0.0539466191111118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711011876845249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031158759589066963,0.057210875993488675,0.033894047949479436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273830601825306,0.0,0.10684912308196104,0.0,0.0,0.4437520496606086,0.13443430006547644,0.0,0.03997456391075442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062247308849810966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032775870186306295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597736456925233,0.0,0.0,0.10016297629810844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496402868378343,0.0,0.0,0.7212213969055282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044221340847117964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789905596403456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672982906368115,0.10414842605807118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057066182132337086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03820607876773805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567300614359634,0.047427088473015515,0.0,0.0,0.04752432296340214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493337494607322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159503255825588,0.04591278543782238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047627543371481916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304701174999911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484088075522291,0.19174131401017225,0.052126853043606765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03962130268958065,0.03821407126647198,0.0,0.047346466602570136,0.034775805946317614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173801375329264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703529016486968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658447944647014,0.0,0.05748957920729155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timthecook93,2018/02/02,"Diagnosing Mental Illnesses I've been interested in mental illness for a long time, and one question I have never been able to find a satisfying answer for is the extent to which it can be accurately diagnosed. To give a little personal background, I've never been diagnosed with a mental illness. However, I did see a doctor when I was around 12 or 13 (I lied about my symptoms because I didn't want to be put on medication), and am confident that if I were to see a mental health professional and be honest with them I could get diagnosed with a few disorders. Without going into great detail, I have moderately severe anxiety (mostly social) and depression. I also have a tendency to be paranoid and occasionally things I know aren't true seem to be very real (for example, as a teenager I once convinced myself that I had contracted rabies despite never having been bitten by an animal and displaying no symptoms). Not looking for sympathy, just want to give some context as to where I'm coming from.

In a college I read David Rosenhan's ""On Being Sane in Insane Places,"" where he essentially displayed the inability of psychiatric hospitals to diagnose schizophrenia. Based on this, I ended up writing a term paper entitled ""The Social Origins of Mental Illness,"" the central argument of which was that most mental illnesses are either just behavior society deems abnormal or are caused to a large extent by an individual's social environment. Building off this idea, I started to try to come up with my own definition of mental health, and have been very unsuccessful. This is largely due to the fact that I don't think I've ever met a human being that I think is sane, myself included. Some people think worshiping the sun is insane, but have no problem kneeling in front of a cross to pray and sincerely believe that they can communicate with a guy they read about in a book who supposedly died over 2000 years ago. To me, that seems to be an indicator of poor mental health. Humanity is destroying the planet that sustains us as a species and yet every day people pile into their cars to drive to a job they hate. I don't believe that any of those people are mentally healthy.

I guess my point here boils down to me not being able to take seriously any diagnosis of mental illness, at least not in this society, because I don't believe I have met anyone who is mentally stable enough, myself included, to make such a diagnosis. Has anyone experienced something similar?",11.202575810386897,8.813997041942606,11.34329963982805,56.202150575113286,57.60927152317882,14.481654467294064,43.93040548390845,12.936686537176746,5.878375717439294,1992,91,309,56,19,677,240,453,0.145,0.797,0.058,-0.9858,2,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,1,0,5,0,13,12,2,0,29,0,45,19,0,3,6,60,70,18,1,5,11,0,0,0,0,0,18,0,0,4,20,19,1,0,10,3,1,8,14,5,0,1,13,4,35,7,66,47,12,47,2,1,3,0,22,23,0,11,16,236,55,8,0.12221901901992605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054169893043766064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886925267685975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311312400229336,0.0,0.046748607511038764,0.0,0.0,0.0854583798324683,0.0,0.0,0.05440041943224661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450357959862552,0.0,0.0,0.2065484724439495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277629965585138,0.0,0.1052808628741382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048790970817660206,0.0,0.0,0.039410578170339786,0.0,0.0526335309962897,0.3101243290377141,0.06342202292404316,0.0,0.07003679217803555,0.06254817241508047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412488716244608,0.06314245892536692,0.0,0.0,0.05527704993720682,0.05148739739367727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585298459999676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03192719651696407,0.11724361976159599,0.03472994252371128,0.0,0.0,0.06737344997025435,0.0673190142722448,0.060508022038262235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033298910025765,0.0,0.19486965299879075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898519796168583,0.0,0.0,0.060641758836633926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033584188274936415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061247782573161186,0.0,0.05407999291219893,0.05131659716511654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04079107212101842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061561401784820974,0.6774241372361391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139426304753808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507963322947337,0.041409385170487686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709691846816265,0.05335846660043683,0.06384643094182224,0.0,0.05776823882596984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847354758150526,0.0,0.06143193561729547,0.06845663621941396,0.0,0.12225209322221794,0.0695560003965695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973927344091456,0.11126360469040758,0.0,0.06903635161592785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688034773023027,0.0,0.04704508596128157,0.0,0.0,0.043253625360071137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703235758828266,0.04594674597919784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04059844274648927,0.11746951860041507,0.0,0.0,0.03563344642491712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041489345623709366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350721572503492,0.0,0.0,0.10084349050257503,0.07208794400354528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890738646967211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03935252057044589
mentalhealth,winkzban,2018/02/02,"A mental health research study with a difference I'm a mental health researcher, currently running a study about working with mental health professionals or consumers on committees.

It's a bit of a different study in that rather than asking people to complete a survey, I'm asking people to write a story based on some writing prompts. You can be as creative (or not) as you like and write as much (or as little) as you wish.

If you're interested, you can read more information or complete a story at bit.ly/StoryCompletionStudy

Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions or comments about the study, or feel free to pass on to any others that you think might like to take part. As with all academic research, it's completely voluntary. 

- Please note that no personal information is collected, thus your anonymity and privacy is guaranteed. 
- The study has been approved by the Human Research Ethics Committee at the University of Canberra. 
- There are no funding or conflicts of interest to declare for the study.",8.339318181818179,9.340401527777779,7.770707070707072,68.49590909090912,61.5,10.98989898989899,38.03030303030303,10.832165505486646,4.477666666666666,825,39,129,20,11,259,104,180,0.037000000000000005,0.813,0.15,0.9651,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,7,0,2,4,6,0,0,14,0,10,3,0,1,1,31,20,17,0,4,11,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,6,1,3,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,7,8,31,17,6,11,0,0,0,0,18,8,0,12,3,89,13,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744299664519747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24393659393705994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848706270195682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103740244961496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726188473219943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193527414115272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816321119506823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160384487817002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747840257086454,0.13076141954855822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39443776841587797,0.1384040339729433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959076777634383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412821942111813,0.0,0.18089768892767424,0.11391806436866625,0.0,0.14321272296878212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615201650569407,0.0,0.13050151842986807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980943550193057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359748092391625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002970557898498,0.0,0.0,0.09498095648678942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hashtagshapes,2018/02/02,"Not too sure Alright, so as of late, my mood had been going down incredibly fast. I’d say the last year it has been like this. I’ve never suffered though any severe kinds of depression or anything like it before. However, lately I’ve been getting thoughts of self harm and suicide and there was a few point where I almost jumped over the tracks of the metro but held myself back. It’s becoming consuming of me and I’m afraid I’m going to do something I’ll regret. I had began cutting myself following finding out my boyfriend had cheated on me. (The reason why I say boyfriend is, I decided to give it another chance because I knew I’d do something to myself if we were together anymore.) I like to think of myself as happy, I put on a front and I do FEEL happy, but I don’t understand why I have such a crazy desire to end my life and harm myself. There’s nothing that horrible in my life. I have a sort of broken home, where we fight often, but we always get past it. So at the end of the day, we’re okay. I just don’t know what it is. Any insight? ",2.7939197614529694,4.154282460829497,4.342152344808891,86.66684196259148,74.6221198156682,7.13353212252643,25.667931688804554,7.724431198458867,1.3368625101653566,822,28,171,11,17,275,126,217,0.161,0.708,0.131,-0.7097,1,0,2,0,1,3,24.0,3,0,0,0,12,19,3,1,10,2,18,2,0,1,2,34,34,15,1,3,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,1,1,9,9,0,1,10,0,0,6,4,9,0,0,12,3,26,9,22,22,1,28,0,3,0,0,8,10,0,5,15,110,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354340924143385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096839119244736,0.0,0.0,0.18138232250405792,0.13984234512121388,0.0,0.0,0.13225989284565828,0.0,0.0,0.10974608083708046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254763009329224,0.0,0.08129662110939158,0.1472885465010676,0.113481775073445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600786320541519,0.0,0.1148650373608014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23623941120354586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674321525683599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218910272853088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935293913703975,0.12793358634043253,0.1515861113633359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839339979183681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377359110174464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388766562185705,0.07329261343314962,0.10870834270667756,0.3008777098619793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839593841935764,0.1954627330853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285748140732658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279650398048155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730972014343156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607079147854405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406627764199247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711899462938856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121106315074925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912630786590074,0.15066181115942945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533813537859186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458770710304383,0.0,0.12569270001160254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545338802966501,0.13102810635400353,0.10587503106408823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883520058390958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24067805976771586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588116092543017
mentalhealth,KashaUK,2018/02/02,"What mental health diagnosis would explain 'Daddy Issues'? I've always been focused on male attention. As a kid I preferred male friends, I tried to get boys to like me, etc. As an adult I measure my life by which boyfriend I was with at the time, I look for male attention even when in a relationship, I tolerate romantic interests being less-than-fantastic, and everything is geared towards men. Even now, I moved so I need a job and new friends, but I can't help but think of these things as a route to meet men! 

To be clear: when it comes to getting male attention I don't dress provocatively and I'm not sexually promiscuous (nothing wrong with women who are!), I don't screw over other woman, I don't pander to men, and I don't act fake to win men. I'm okay by myself but feel more secure in a relationship, so it's not like it's desperation. 

I'm fairly certain this would be known as 'daddy issues'

Family background: I was a daddies girl but he was an alcoholic so he wasn't exactly there for me, my parents divorced when I was seven years old and he often wouldn't come to visit me due to getting drunk - he was meant to visit at 11am on a Sunday, I'd get excited to see him but I could go months without seeing him. My dad was abusive towards my mother in that he was controlling and emotionally abusive, after their divorce she didn't remarry...but instead had affairs with two married men, it only ever seemed to be about sex but she considered it to be about love. 

I mean, I guess that explains my issues with men...

I'm not sure I can be any other way when it comes to seeking male attention, it feels like a lot more than just a temporary thing that can be fixed, could this be part of some sort of personality disorder? ",4.044132947976877,5.223921182080929,5.427253179190752,80.80242890173412,71.28323699421965,8.657387283236995,28.868901734104053,9.065960079200117,2.3465335491329484,1363,52,270,27,25,458,186,346,0.08,0.768,0.152,0.962,2,0,1,0,2,0,42.0,0,0,1,2,17,16,1,0,12,1,33,7,0,2,5,56,59,23,0,7,11,3,2,3,2,3,3,0,0,18,20,13,2,2,14,1,0,8,12,3,0,2,12,5,33,13,44,34,6,33,0,0,3,3,46,10,1,6,17,180,53,1,0.0,0.2604667495731251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746757771217516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914595410762754,0.0,0.0,0.07474715906622602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840506417614237,0.0,0.0,0.12328098130549,0.17551916140717352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259741180051272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123641549128769,0.0,0.0,0.1225862312015038,0.14519795317944031,0.09942599304182352,0.0,0.0,0.09878608724236844,0.0,0.10361972936604996,0.0,0.11115442264981372,0.07852454801560606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984281646190974,0.0,0.22970786048435096,0.0,0.062468221940715475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108569202260225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683636509262532,0.0,0.0,0.07367488044161673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441735885520255,0.10907541373832896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776374510043425,0.16109931552033505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230238658656524,0.0,0.0,0.09344729001512657,0.09920415812597974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973156372559852,0.0,0.0,0.11077023109741242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773450101901939,0.11682410989318567,0.0,0.08150187722255282,0.0,0.10615828188616283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546808589897172,0.0,0.11533913892185005,0.0,0.0,0.08359664125716958,0.0,0.0,0.12204954287646227,0.11902912871838522,0.0,0.0,0.09597506623388882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23601890816804755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517883723331673,0.10006408082851156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359523587002803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604760893016935,0.07043021502449233,0.0,0.0,0.06409334073226819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462625798552487,0.0,0.107372693020829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724679978331458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595582441354832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616341077681176,0.1201767108798438,0.0,0.07078278310546683
mentalhealth,SpeakingUpResearch,2018/02/02,"Speaking up: Does speaking on here give you a voice? Hi there,

I'm from the University of Sydney in the Department of Media and Communication and I'm do research that explores how participating in online discussions can give voice to people living with mental illness.

You are invited to participate in this research project. If you:

•	Are someone who can relate to having mental illness or mental distress and;
•	regularly use digital mobile media (laptops, mobile phones etc) to share, post, watch and /read content on the internet
•	live in Sydney, Australia or outer regions;
•	are over 18 years old

If you are interested in participating, 

Visit this link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/D5XZJM5

 to find more information about this study, and then leave your details so a researcher can contact to discuss what’s involved. 

Please note that this project has no funding from a private business that may be considered a conflict of interest. 
",7.890154845154848,10.909919214285717,7.342987012987018,63.51634865134866,64.64935064935065,8.894305694305695,37.82017982017982,9.466822959209583,4.361521078921077,765,40,100,16,13,239,103,154,0.09,0.847,0.063,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,5,0,0,5,4,0,1,7,0,12,2,0,2,0,18,17,12,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,9,6,0,1,4,1,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,3,22,15,2,17,0,0,1,0,19,10,0,5,3,72,14,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003005873881566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669180739305727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758335803897954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727735564181594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573179682311946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431345007202805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5874151121194716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20388135136524216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470063560389708,0.0,0.0,0.21327906315234985,0.0,0.0,0.18608220961779867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194348944798351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462667992387595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678096764292791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512048908838805
mentalhealth,scottcfr,2018/02/02,"Using Amphetamines to Treat Depression Hi r/MentalHealth,

I've been suffering from MDD for about 3 years now. One of my biggest problems with medication has been that it works for a short period of time, then it stops. Eventually the dosage increase hits the maximum amount and stops working.

I've been reading about some experimental treatments using Amphetamine Salts (such as Adderall) to tread depression, and it having positive outcomes with people who have difficulty with traditional anti-depressants. 

Has anyone been prescribed any kind of Amphetamine Salts for treating depression and it been effective?

I'm worried to speak to my Psychiatrist about this because I don't want her to think I'm trying to get medication for recreational use. (Not that I have a history of doing so, I have Anxiety about things like this).

Any advice helps.

Thanks,
Scott",8.548972602739727,10.484555267123287,8.208109589041097,62.21873972602742,61.3972602739726,12.141369863013699,37.88767123287671,11.792908689023552,5.350298082191778,703,34,102,23,10,224,97,146,0.172,0.7070000000000001,0.121,-0.7352,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,7,10,0,0,4,0,13,2,0,5,0,18,23,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,10,6,0,2,2,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,5,3,6,5,23,17,3,10,0,4,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,66,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526033092245406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123960547542345,0.0,0.11946632881137795,0.0,0.0,0.10919468459400143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519715786028868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5380211351982475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159012984975983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467457315952937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262253934709986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629467007526586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31464101539187656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105821916160526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826562943823198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494294789527227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620795510664182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26112302639734336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377638992853348,0.0,0.0,0.10374954824561827,0.10006467131038926,0.0,0.0,0.0910614722861331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602625554741003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046310582646497,0.0,0.0,0.09211057270133842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273809709708111,0.15859384317907574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056558713359076
mentalhealth,Awaythrowthaway,2018/02/02,"I want to admit myself to a mental health facility I have a lot of trust and a lot of co-morbid issues I don't feel like I can function much anymore and wanted to ask if a mental health facility is a suitable place for these issues? I really want to trust a place like this to help me but I'm very doubtful.

",4.09,3.965481181818184,6.2207575757575775,79.85113636363639,70.51515151515152,8.41818181818182,25.59090909090909,8.07648339933343,1.415618181818183,242,6,51,3,4,86,41,66,0.112,0.723,0.166,0.0517,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,12,11,4,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,7,4,8,11,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,2,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420109324279446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363892644515286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391415610249793,0.1326904766254585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948592730070967,0.0,0.0,0.12449552717169295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877221298812739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814833322880553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31581373633631843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743582136201971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365379907615496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881110514310124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898781254929786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325239230909876,0.328657303117812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QuarterSooner,2018/02/02,"In a bad place/my presence is a problem (UK hospitalisation?) Short of it: I have Bipolar and I am high functioning. I'm never high up but I experience the lows something awful. (CMHT have sent me to ""support groups"" or projects in the past as a means of helping me, but it's with people who have very, very different mental difficulties and I don't feel I get any form of support from it. Not to mention that everything is during the average working day, so I can seldom attend due to employment). 


I had a crashing, out of nowhere suicidal episode in December, maybe down to a new medication that CMHT got me to try - I was fine, left a friend's housewarming party and on the drive home, it just smacked me out of nowhere - I needed to leave and I needed to get off the planet right then and there. Instantaneously deleted myself off of every social media platform and prepped... But didn't make it. A friend noticed. 


As a result of this, in the shame hangover after I've managed to fuck everything up. The dear friend I trusted and who saved my life that night suddenly froze me out and my anxiety went through the roof. Like a drowning guy might go for air bubbles underwater, that's how I viewed our communication. I needed whatever I could get, just to make things right again. To go back to the jesting and casual talk of a few weeks prior. I apologised for scaring her so many times - the guilt is still crushing my chest - and I was doubled up with worry about her as I know she gets down in similar ways.  At wit's end and absolutely on the floor, I asked a mutual friend after her. Mutual friend makes a point of it and turns it into an argument between the group of friends I game with (I wasn't there), I message her and get a scathing reply about how ""we never had this before"" in the group (applying to the fact that I finally recently got a console so we could game instead of me just hanging out on voice with everyone, therefore my presence is a problem) and it's because I asked said mutual friend after her. She also accused me of playing games, I'd guess inferring to that bad night - it literally had nothing to do with her aside the fact that she unfortunately happened to intervene. 


I messaged back rationally and calmly pointing out that I didn't know what she was talking about, that I had no part of any of that night's discussions other than asking after her two weeks prior and with that she blocked me on FB. 


I want to go back and beg myself to find my logical voice and not give in to the little voice telling me to leave. I'm screaming in my head because I've fought this for so long and one night (and the resulting anxiety/shame spiral) has cost me one of the most important things in the world to me. 


Why keep fighting if one bad night can in turn wreak this? What's the fucking point?


I've been drowning in shame, anxiety and prevalent suicidal thoughts ever since that night and losing my friend in the process and basically telling me my presence is a problem is the last straw. 


I think she's right. 


Usually I can fight it off... But with the losing my friend over miscommunication and anxiety (fearing something and then creating it maybe?), it's fully compounded this. I am a problem and I need to be erased. This latter statement has no emotion in it. It's just raw logic. 


And to boot, today I had a gentle inquisition with my P-doc and a nurse. Another medication to try (wunderbar) and I was honest about how I was feeling and there was mention of possibly going into hospital if they felt it was necessary. I believe at this time I have the option to do so voluntarily. 


Dies anyone know or have experience of the process in the UK? I personally don't feel that such an environment would be positive at all for me and can't see any benefit in it, aside keeping the P-doc's conscience clean but it would be really helpful to know what happens and what the experience might entail.


If you made it this far... Thank you. ",5.1443141193010655,6.170626762402094,6.006436031331593,78.23653293834104,68.58224543080941,9.234344245832498,31.96314520988151,9.466822959209583,2.899720907812814,3124,132,595,64,52,1029,330,766,0.157,0.737,0.106,-0.9922,2,0,2,0,3,0,91.0,3,2,1,3,28,43,5,5,49,1,48,8,2,11,6,119,102,56,5,16,16,0,5,1,9,4,4,5,2,2,48,49,0,3,16,5,1,9,12,21,0,4,25,12,81,22,107,68,6,103,0,3,2,2,59,55,2,10,39,417,129,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459398454284202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376310759977876,0.05847280497680669,0.12797658445064294,0.0,0.0,0.03899107783072299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639380256339,0.0,0.0,0.128635877138959,0.13968037222584911,0.06798572302663251,0.0,0.047450560819326415,0.06282627543892959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890451021569748,0.0,0.0,0.035962790865119734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787362308672591,0.05826090227656424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627263387356173,0.04938983612999021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044120332212343,0.046983083999809334,0.05328433476930028,0.10023312736526108,0.16364196638133446,0.0,0.06274934743916334,0.08458697763281095,0.0,0.053541625329270495,0.06108609778634326,0.05096675302962495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877440998209688,0.10310476117875683,0.14567041953640772,0.05349335094161525,0.12676654012427938,0.0,0.08919819754942332,0.0,0.06142969080673796,0.05521455008396084,0.0986228112368632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057229353735405775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475408613772627,0.11783422367219135,0.05593525406599316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913017466268016,0.0,0.0,0.12258446289075905,0.045454627616046434,0.0,0.11809081430618452,0.06058711588790509,0.0,0.03938735064857857,0.027243188897286705,0.05588959355304809,0.0,0.049348869399542715,0.0,0.12477000010763532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052764693604143716,0.11166754185983208,0.056535352569040936,0.11204369526655154,0.06074270887511497,0.0,0.1123515523259849,0.05619640878490244,0.11831234673890248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539146894467385,0.08601637001328802,0.05385665576098151,0.0,0.3139811368298681,0.0,0.053506502696808685,0.0634870200152478,0.0,0.0,0.1133602038749232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603863466610155,0.05323249142558497,0.03865933217824614,0.048690464954385136,0.05826090227656424,0.0,0.15814336058953055,0.06286487422184184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21343223676915374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03572347292599075,0.0,0.05505964708037795,0.0,0.0,0.14286496066309126,0.05304377939744831,0.0,0.05582890856735832,0.0,0.04443622374936671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046128074904307086,0.0,0.0,0.056843781325027765,0.0,0.0858588057421824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04453273696329439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199225517216575,0.12655932989597304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964104483839715,0.09747936891094001,0.05133946245430878,0.0,0.0,0.07409347305847669,0.03573094607741956,0.0,0.04426992437775305,0.06503219394772426,0.0,0.05285719920675764,0.0,0.0,0.07571939966712067,0.1213091699674646,0.0544727558077226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061415525787266764,0.09202131832164198,0.032890708211520875,0.04426240495504587,0.0894600992699961,0.0,0.0,0.0516932463617397,0.05031781052725996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04059643181951781,0.05663045692984695,0.0,0.07922546321620297,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Soozanow,2018/02/02,Mental health Maybe the first step is to stop grouping mental health with substance abuse!,5.870000000000001,9.653480333333334,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,79.0,3.0,20.833333333333336,3.1291,-0.2896666666666663,75,2,11,0,2,19,13,15,0.34,0.66,0.0,-0.7712,0,0,0,0,1,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0.0,0.3362343671094268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413841791822377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6032923793408163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28509640003404924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5719694910562407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23725382490663385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nbathrowaway12345,2018/02/02,"I think something is wrong with me mental health Lately, I have been noticing the following symptoms. 

1. Moderate mood swings (this may be an environmental thing though, as I get fear screwing up at school/work but when I don't screw up I feel fine).

2. Complete lack of desire to pursue any type of new relationship. 

3. I have no desire to really see/meet people I don't already know.

4. I've become socially awkward when I do meet new people.

5. I've been experiencing intruding thoughts of me doing/saying crazy things or past memories of me doing embarrassing things. I have to scrunch eyes or clench fists to make them go away. 

For the record, I have ADD and have been taking Concerta 72mg for the last year and a half. About a month ago, I ran out of my dosage and had to resort to using 10mg tablets of Ritalin (these were prescribed by my doctor but I never actually used them). I started by chewing one tablet a day but moved up to two because I could not focus. Concerta has worked well for me since I started in late 2016. 

Is this something I should be worried about? Or is it part of puberty? I am an under 20 and male.

Edit: My not me lol",1.04976057822617,3.586596135371181,2.896642071977112,88.3597379912664,87.646288209607,5.778708025899714,21.43366962806806,7.237678284180719,0.8839497364854694,901,31,181,15,29,299,148,229,0.116,0.8340000000000001,0.05,-0.9138,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,1,6,9,2,3,8,1,24,8,1,3,1,29,38,14,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,4,0,0,4,6,6,1,3,7,3,27,2,31,26,2,28,0,0,1,2,6,9,2,4,15,120,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.12726444912230722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560341336303274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391418453705532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868543290428223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252747340207222,0.0,0.0,0.07949866268341009,0.14403110874266647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673573561912136,0.0,0.0,0.10412431058818096,0.0,0.0,0.0841057108128482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348341347029705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467510819504258,0.06594082113000634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681355027504181,0.0,0.07411681426801348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862310951539694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167167187265082,0.10630414585228486,0.2942234897203027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870518087993539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142580962946832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409455423742804,0.1386085690608672,0.0,0.0,0.10058268237081196,0.25190771938523443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847626720068685,0.0,0.0,0.08837134433891647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412247627934163,0.12449413468714025,0.1808241537535956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354602106417994,0.0,0.0,0.14001494709607668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370979332024934,0.0,0.13198509827434793,0.10392241798742312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787912825803256,0.0,0.0,0.13293981136120733,0.0,0.2007968712320476,0.0,0.0,0.1846142368385384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554922595927887,0.09805447952108773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599221612783633,0.0835634984261369,0.12813028496063242,0.10353349581200698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739472485120107,0.0,0.0,0.2252702267955089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725710875835485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898846931792209,0.13244091237537234,0.0,0.0,0.14258633722719533,0.0,0.08398181068415536
mentalhealth,cathappy01,2018/02/02,Is it possible to get tested for memory loss? My memory is starting to get me worried recently so I'm just wondering if there's any way of getting it tested or helped. Thanks :),1.785,4.337196571428573,4.679642857142858,77.09660714285717,83.28571428571428,9.214285714285714,25.892857142857146,9.516144504307137,3.24,140,6,25,5,4,50,29,35,0.111,0.743,0.146,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,9,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,15,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217226010575272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006730966850521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410981444475896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601137342494726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31540244631053443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609696345011426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29409182421235514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253551766905244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464124459392985,0.0,0.3244006381893881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kitten622,2018/02/02,"New Mental Health Discord Hello! This is a new discord for Mental Health. 
https://discord.gg/gQaBaDk
If you need a disorder that I do not have, please tell me.
",4.448333333333334,7.908516703703707,3.212870370370372,84.05041666666669,85.66666666666666,5.662962962962964,21.564814814814817,7.1686216300943375,1.186192592592592,129,4,20,2,4,37,22,27,0.341,0.659,0.0,-0.8539,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852305230978053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5290816567711047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016117827996033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453650195586754,0.0,0.4807270374748264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27318830132494243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752635569985612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,takingtacet,2018/02/03,"Tips for a PMS mental health boost? I’ve been treating depression/anxiety for about seven years now. I’ve bounced around medications as some will cease to work or be ineffective to begin with (I’m sure many know this feeling.) I’m currently well controlled, but for about five or six months I’ve been having really bad mood dips/anxiety issues that increase exponentially around the time of my menstruation. 

I know it’s normal to have mood swings and stuff with PMS, but already having mental issues makes it much more drastic. I was wondering if anyone knew any tips or had ideas of how to help increase my mental stability around this week or so. I’ve tried exercise and eating right, all the tips and whatever you find on google (written by people who think women just get mad because they’re in pain). My issues are usually manifested in crying fits/hyperventilating, extreme irritability, and motivation so little that I sleep for 5+ hours during the day. ",9.231536507936507,8.817702045714286,8.985333333333333,65.2748888888889,59.971428571428575,11.89206349206349,35.444444444444436,11.20814326018867,4.031139682539683,778,28,129,18,9,252,123,175,0.099,0.805,0.096,-0.5251,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,4,11,9,1,0,4,0,10,8,1,4,2,33,22,15,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,8,9,1,1,9,1,0,2,0,4,1,3,6,1,7,3,22,14,6,20,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,7,10,75,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299080220140598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811640934043649,0.0,0.19825121411268,0.0,0.0,0.09060284605209272,0.0,0.0,0.34605145826435363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081908987505664,0.07898858328390028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453309737562141,0.0,0.0,0.14233361353686536,0.08356607166649416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258902701397712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655177315671149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184305009101236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769833166910524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773367578062606,0.0,0.0,0.08685234334256547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276066730618711,0.0,0.0,0.1462760067075621,0.0,0.4057323541373286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424236240389148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986961434061375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649326689613414,0.13137015261674856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053461157572852,0.3917476656524047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342666265377816,0.0,0.09525357836006244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695738046230773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787844728470044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983197481815808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300997299975453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065755515823113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966999909368152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833400064551205,0.0,0.0,0.12212424289670536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302733822344413,0.0,0.0,0.07555705285008588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879738839354599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271012081968093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393838863794876,0.0,0.11650476357914215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405201007290599,0.0943331774098805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344296650593172
mentalhealth,Lafb,2018/02/03,"Want to get pregnant impulsively without telling my partner? Help! Guys I’m really struggling. I have BPD AND recently I’d had loads of pregnancy symptoms and was worried I was pregnant. I have a coil but I know there’s a tiny tiny chance I could have been. Took a test and obviously wasn’t.
However ever since this happened I’ve just been fixated on the idea of getting pregnant, almost to the point of obsession. I know it’s just some weird impulsive and must be a BPD thing because I know that I am not in the place to have a baby right now. I’m only 21, not finished uni, I’m not even in a proper relationship as we’ve only been seeing each other for a month, I struggle to even look after myself and I’m always broke. I know I can’t take responsibility for another human life. I know this idea stuck in my head is completely ridiculous and crazy. 
Yet this urge won’t pass and I don’t know what to do- do I just ride it out? Do I talk to someone about it? I’ve tried googling but not found anyone in a similar situation. Please help I’m so worried I’ll do something stupid and regret it. ",1.6277348602484487,3.866890977678576,3.590403726708076,86.66763975155283,81.1875,6.574223602484473,24.471273291925467,7.7425588080867325,1.3614183229813666,865,33,178,15,23,292,128,224,0.171,0.774,0.055,-0.9778,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,2,3,11,0,23,3,1,0,3,37,44,12,0,4,10,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,11,10,0,0,9,0,0,3,9,8,0,0,10,2,18,0,21,30,2,19,0,2,2,0,8,9,0,2,7,110,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265618331537352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192161043084932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844159375495046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564795516116996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466885350879733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30854409116979925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284285831702731,0.0,0.0,0.09779841108743416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180716681018234,0.11079934592125068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430411808297546,0.0,0.0,0.12799208695823552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128449822202733,0.10831762783469026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571022385974093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420512009014904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765529210073838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039042711272937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651840959391566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286086915380216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777046253433493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18631854486203786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797612744884598,0.13445739256099104,0.11579277628258115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847032135530457,0.0,0.12094423767414515,0.13150857160193055,0.0,0.10460591179429027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097608784136217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132511104789653,0.13768405148191298,0.0,0.0,0.1037854996236809,0.09429889545915236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561065832720019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731415793358242,0.09209734252258504,0.09845293610824382,0.10706178287593808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137700739895265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360910544999974,0.08316276579574626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224785922434271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807612559252667,0.0,0.0,0.2487893695548125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,johnlavolpe,2018/02/03,"how to deal with anxiety and change? Hi guys so it is a little hard to convince myself to go to the psychologist ( it is free because I go to a UC).

I have problems dealing with anxiety and change. 3 years ago I was probably somewhat close to committing suicide. I mean at least I think so. I’d always tell myself if x didn’t happen I’d do it and I usually choose an x that I was pretty sure it would happen. 


Anyway the reason why I’m saying it is because 4 months ago things started to click. Things that went poorly in life started to go better and I felt like everything was falling in place. I did have what I think is a litte too much anxiety when taking tests (some is fine but I think mine is too much). And some changes started happening and I just feel like this self that was happy and felt everything was great is not me. Like I don’t deserve it. And while I think (hope) I will go back to that in maybe a week or two. But part of me just wants to give up because I don’t feel like I deserve it or that the miserable me is the real me if that makes sense. 

I just really need better tools to control anxiety and change. Like the change right now is not necessary bad (it’s not good either), but I am left with this discomfort like I don’t belong anywhere. And as for my anxiety I’ve always been anxious but could never find a way to control it. I am very impatient when it comes to waiting for things or anxious for tests. Part of me just wants to vent. Thanks",1.9860769980506807,3.7755525394736864,3.512295321637428,89.93514132553607,77.88157894736842,6.7405458089668615,23.430311890838205,7.662118739084242,1.0113310428849904,1148,37,247,17,27,379,147,304,0.127,0.73,0.14300000000000002,0.8340000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,0,4,14,21,0,2,11,0,28,1,0,5,3,63,59,26,1,9,17,0,5,6,0,2,1,1,0,2,22,15,0,3,12,0,2,7,8,4,0,1,11,7,30,18,28,45,9,33,0,1,1,0,8,10,0,9,21,167,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963459167639256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107171413803315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012615659020141,0.17795609751212746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605627130063123,0.06576254217624433,0.1440367932877187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931624919854335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165959884177658,0.0678460371284615,0.0,0.0,0.1766753840023471,0.06288462930981184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239924567828248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157147122625618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796483370640581,0.11253442767372043,0.1512467358638334,0.0,0.07198656172559961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555518412619752,0.1790478463498127,0.0660613888392916,0.0,0.08683480479484698,0.0,0.07798624360982777,0.20894553802146115,0.08384305523697226,0.07055481172058194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822791662988167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557457358732651,0.0,0.05563155940155056,0.2308732712107555,0.07893968983636422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052573896491347895,0.0,0.0791264884049181,0.08579433654086104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286665831844447,0.0,0.11579749381292585,0.05840063610268095,0.06074570539910985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705820054406804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228897837543647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801287358484413,0.0849181918656205,0.07536409508707004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964780220417749,0.050456618010271216,0.08097991452263635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726186973444623,0.0,0.06263428657439155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821653961895073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672433332330231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615227069587596,0.0,0.07423175855810557,0.0,0.059218827591930735,0.0,0.06884100114246101,0.07251298470550026,0.0,0.0,0.15697687378734318,0.2018686930141418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693851707674684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674463792946409,0.06498646585923858,0.092911117782649,0.062517193209617,0.06317770482979924,0.0,0.0,0.07301267686903667,0.0710699810779035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594989242043134,0.0,0.0,0.050719807927730606
mentalhealth,AnotherLostThing,2018/02/03,"I'm still waiting... People always say that it gets better. That living, life, is worth it in the end. It's how I pushed through years of suicide ideation, that small hope that it will get better. Well, I'm still waiting. 

I've had mental illnesses since childhood but been relatively functioning. Soon I'll be 27 and nothing has gotten ""better"". It's the same **** day in and day out. Loads of therapy and meds and life changes and my desire to die is greater than my want to live. I've lost hope of anything getting better (sure my behaviours are more appropriate but the thoughts and feelings are still there) and I feel so foolish for listening to everyone say that life is worth it. For other people, yeah, their lives improve and things get easier and they have reason and purpose to live and it's fantastic that happens because it shows that things CAN get better... but me? I've wasted 12 years of living for what feels like nothing. 

Can anyone relate? What do you do when nothing feels worth it anymore and you've exhausted all of your reserves? Is there anything that can be done? I'm sorry for the rambling.

Hugs for you all.

",2.3113595706618995,5.097788395348839,2.8377906976744214,89.44545169946336,83.65116279069767,5.354203935599285,24.083184257602863,6.8449194561589275,1.023940966010734,895,34,166,11,26,277,117,215,0.101,0.691,0.208,0.9764,0,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,3,2,6,11,13,0,0,4,1,19,6,0,2,3,33,41,18,2,4,3,0,4,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,22,13,0,2,6,1,3,1,0,2,1,0,6,7,11,11,19,32,5,16,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,2,12,105,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108821549397556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664660879582793,0.06814099399890568,0.0,0.16039006706158546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059406087270544285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4309437055552268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309173265917723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569749044449968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114022034908174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972765464132544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863139137099918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311995814821122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709947526239202,0.0696200242875284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545743215035504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617684817308491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935844725322911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650056680886214,0.047610327142542735,0.0,0.4302613364348026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638082217649354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108247663274827,0.0,0.09820911261793358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805246596409412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512246742170786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019731263421157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499614269809672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061364420038597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908999932437796,0.0,0.0,0.23347687196630806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659712413809644,0.0,0.09184774722816874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114453288777145,0.0,0.1294861076925024,0.0,0.0,0.07736633145800226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747995889190436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762142407012041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551231948414604
mentalhealth,AnalIsMySafeWord,2018/02/03,"I can't feel love For as long as I can remember I have never feel love in my life, not for or from anyone. Makes me wonder if I'm really a person at all, or just a living thing. Can anyone help? Is there any way to let myself feel love? ",1.1912264150943417,1.935499018867926,3.8265566037735854,91.22775943396229,77.67924528301887,6.809433962264151,15.13679245283019,7.1686216300943375,-0.3994113207547172,180,1,44,2,4,64,40,53,0.19,0.7609999999999999,0.049,-0.83,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,1,2,13,15,5,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,8,14,1,5,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,4,2,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471712060035321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026480588722725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32828131473543154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450599747497029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130138315455855,0.15286196074991665,0.0,0.0,0.19110046777696554,0.19152252723243007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.585975270807146,0.0,0.14446024861396586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669143869834776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896726538323333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386424835979817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451586474143394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377805798038126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717820035498964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346953631773021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fluszka,2018/02/03,"How do I convince my bf to go to a specialist We've been together for 6 years. From the start I knew he had pretty bad OCD and was generally a quite neurotic guy, but I accepted this. We moved in together 4 years ago and things started getting worse. 95% of time he is a cheerful, funny, sweet, gentle person, he constantly compliments me and says he loves me and generally kisses the ground I'm walking. However, in situations of severe stress (and he gets severely stressed for pretty bizarre reasons), he gets in a state where he shouts at me, insults me in a way you wouldn't think he's capable of, physically makes me sit down or stand up, follows me around, either doesn't let me leave the room or tries to make me leave the apartment, mocks me, throws things. It's like he's a totally different person. It may last from 10 minutes to an hour. Afterwards he cries and cries and is hysterically apologizing to me for what he have done and I can see he's suffering.

He seems to realize he 'has problems' and 'is neurotic', but also apparently thinks that his behavior isn't outside the norm. Half a year ago he went to see a psychiatrist and got a small dose of paroxysine. I'm almost sure he hasn't told the doctor even half the truth and that he got a poor diagnosis because of it. He is also extremely reluctant to come in regularly for checkups and prescription refills, and takes from my pool of paroxisine instead (I visit my psychiatrist regularly). He seems to think he's fine and gets upset when I suggest he might need therapy.

I come from an abusive family, and have my own share of problems, so I understand that sometimes you can hurt others although you don't want to, because of your emotional state, but I also think I have difficulties with drawing a line and deciding what's normal and what isn't. I've been attending therapy for half a year now and recently my therapist told me upfront he thinks my boyfriend may be ill and that he desperately needs therapy.

He doesn't want to hear any of this. He has been attending therapy for years, mostly because his OCD and shyness, but he says 'it was a total failure'. Like I said, he gets extremely upset when I mention he's not well and that he needs help. I have no idea how to encourage him to try therapy. I'm afraid that if I push him too far, he might start considering me his enemy and stop sharing anything with me. I'm also pretty sure that if I threatened to leave him or even left and told him I get back only if he starts therapy, he will just break down and hurt himself.

TL;DR: My boyfriend gets aggressive when stressed, doesn't want to hear about therapy, my therapist told me his symptoms sound like mental illness, I have no idea how to help.",7.294395500135536,6.737932567362428,7.804626592572514,72.63030123339661,63.93358633776091,11.854947140146384,36.6582407156411,11.27995839037828,4.134238872323124,2161,94,410,57,28,717,241,527,0.207,0.652,0.141,-0.9915,3,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,1,4,0,1,23,33,3,6,22,0,36,8,0,6,5,87,86,46,0,13,13,0,0,3,1,6,6,7,1,3,19,30,0,1,15,1,1,12,11,15,1,3,16,10,53,18,48,62,5,58,0,3,2,2,70,17,0,14,26,244,72,1,0.0,0.07058275768351442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561348690147286,0.0,0.059652481525553476,0.0,0.0,0.1905579607957619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04051081855591215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049022457168216814,0.053031468794854826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045806982496381016,0.0497399054443081,0.10894311931299544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263153947110434,0.0,0.06437587585902994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308734941779622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622397776614766,0.0,0.06097418895339121,0.0,0.06096256168112819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701017704618903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869313040687742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615892440061287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786638787477053,0.0,0.03385598645038305,0.0,0.0952899074052577,0.0,0.0,0.05898537761380593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428333636240705,0.0,0.07985934852867044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058666153303648175,0.0,0.1275455360805412,0.13449846200426405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04855891010884599,0.0,0.1892335787572294,0.0647248579177979,0.060916129062172364,0.0,0.0873112131893021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376581130358262,0.0,0.07952918344641248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060034291462607976,0.12639238096041155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331532031398901,0.0,0.13251504678072454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836764619370699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530698434775796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403147203622616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181759460234848,0.0,0.11400419872700213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336186667418202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061249659121284876,0.05881989565033876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666635611562808,0.09474765995002332,0.0,0.0,0.0949419105508336,0.1084637295396444,0.0,0.134598194816878,0.0,0.0,0.06696111941026571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891796327602373,0.0,0.16866070574354944,0.0,0.0,0.04980463293159421,0.20471764306614784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122912992551148,0.061917836091044634,0.044790526452753936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768782472776794,0.13833473783628433,0.07915361947940894,0.19085579287255333,0.0,0.0,0.03473675427244925,0.0,0.0,0.2276933599921248,0.0,0.0808905872684675,0.0,0.0,0.06201627085134055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541084773263233,0.0472852656844702,0.0,0.0,0.05356213869336828,0.055223589653344916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070868125756269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19181120186303485
mentalhealth,Duckyonquacks,2018/02/03,"Accessively worrying over losing meds? Obsessively *Well I'm taking dexedrine spanules for Adhd combined type. Anyways, I wake up half asleep go to take one and most likely I take it immediately with no issues. However we have several dogs in the house..Within 5 minutes I cant remember if Itook it or not. Hence getting worried over it stresses me out for the proceeding 4 hours.  Esecially considering we have a 6 months old lab puppy that tends to throw fits and bark /cry etc easily. Everytime he starts I assume he got the dexedrine.. Its distracting.  In reality I understand I shouldn't be stressing and wouldn't have not taken it but yeah.",2.97351694915254,6.048739974576273,4.486250000000002,76.03412076271188,85.6949152542373,8.034745762711864,27.71398305084745,8.660442795831766,3.0725915254237286,519,24,86,15,16,172,93,118,0.09,0.8420000000000001,0.068,-0.103,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,4,4,1,7,2,2,0,0,18,18,6,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,5,1,2,2,0,9,2,11,13,2,14,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,4,6,52,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140438106055884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956365167755162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19863063937976866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305086458601723,0.0,0.10121938445603662,0.0,0.1424443175886813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539444418496813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858920567768724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701156655689918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992504109853138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783100270382614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421591957128298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688792929689144,0.0,0.12068642137251065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175467466237584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012043933238275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606140454880796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080301297933216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40173127346212223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854103046452665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013495033255065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617421433942152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,420throw666away69,2018/02/03,"I’m 15, my body dysmorphia makes me feel repulsed by my body. I dont know what to do Throwaway account for obv reasons

I’m 15, suffer from body dysmorphia and it’s been eating me up from the inside for months. I can’t stand the way I look. I don’t own any full body mirrors because 75% of the time i look in them all I see is the fat girl. I used to weigh around 125 and i’ve dropped to 119 lbs, i’m 5’2 and no matter how much i weigh i just look chubby and unattractive. I dont want to sound narcissistic but i cant stop thinking about my body, wherever i go i can feel people judging me and i just feel like shit.

 I went through a phase where i dieted extremely and i really don’t want to do it again, i know my parents worry about me a lot and i hate seeing them get upset because i can’t see myself the way other people do. I hate my hips and my thighs and my knees and everything and i just wish i could look like my friends, they all have bodies like models, and then there’s me. 

Sometimes i look in the mirror and think i don’t look that bad. But you can bet soon enough i’ll be wanting to die again because my thighs touch or because my hips are too wide or because i’m so short. I’ve been encouraged to talk about my feelings with other people and compliment myself, talking to people i trust helps i guess but i can’t bring myself to find anything nice about my body. I fake being confident so people might like me but i’m too insecure and constantly feel disgusted. 

It feels pretty pathetic to come on reddit and ask for advice tbh because i don’t have anyone around me who relates to my situation. I just want help on how i can have a better self image. I do some exercise every day, i’ve been doing it for maybe like a month. I do things i enjoy and wear clothes i like. I actually have a lot of friends, and they really do make life happier. I still cant bring myself to accept my body. I’m not overweight, i know i have a healthy bmi. I wear a uk size 6 (us size 4?) But i feel so out of proportion, so wide and ugly and the thought of it all makes me sick. All I want is to really love myself and feel comfortable and not hate it anymore. 

Tl;dr: 15, hate my body, need advice for self-help and how i can start seeing myself differently",1.925231092436973,3.4411428676470632,3.6770504201680687,89.89515546218489,77.25630252100841,6.776806722689076,22.40420168067227,7.554174236665415,0.7735035294117649,1759,50,390,24,40,590,208,476,0.155,0.659,0.18600000000000005,0.9561,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,1,1,4,1,25,28,6,2,14,0,37,27,18,8,4,85,92,38,1,8,13,1,9,6,2,1,5,1,0,2,12,28,6,1,17,1,2,5,14,11,0,0,5,20,79,17,39,83,11,34,0,1,10,1,19,13,1,8,18,245,91,0,0.0,0.0,0.05694650711226009,0.0,0.0,0.11404855230885826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039683711126458965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057872931704092585,0.04080349161840314,0.0,0.04802156802355731,0.10389745570617273,0.054554473887333366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872436819278341,0.21343766579613216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161065856453072,0.0,0.5833778061845349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05026805813876465,0.0,0.06306151670513943,0.0,0.04659208313368393,0.0,0.0,0.03763444144862944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056375011734464,0.060969031121505514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678431948312342,0.0,0.0,0.05971219987224762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029678537265475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916698847145984,0.0,0.05244612100863959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23605017522902075,0.04168914937658247,0.0,0.0,0.0533358295220782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017056098957524,0.0,0.030488317190963208,0.0,0.03316475040720289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428511375950724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23045572545528256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173432960895996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621189735684188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04121818429943568,0.1710571687176773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940233147059407,0.0,0.0,0.09922344364218924,0.052668077326215694,0.0,0.1168581599130637,0.0,0.05862589898837479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190591690582279,0.0,0.0,0.09315753636009252,0.0,0.042897974573591666,0.043269831153025136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479682790799661,0.0,0.0,0.2022816275246936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936847784622407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215199803740998,0.05999912778381584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600697228042246,0.0,0.12175493477469798,0.0,0.05990103692202479,0.0,0.06559397746342271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771503806021769,0.0,0.041304292061354345,0.0,0.0466027424867583,0.04878777414208208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380781002279402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03876877192322377,0.07478363974020821,0.0,0.04632771364098228,0.03402753563510726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019442836638162,0.05040037756365972,0.0,0.0,0.17209779922711746,0.09263968938917076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409609228568954,0.0,0.0,0.06710589439028466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059262798138465925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlexNSNO,2018/02/03,"A story of my life I wasn't sure what to title this to be honest, but this is my life and why I have finally accepted that I do have some sort of mental issue.

I'm a 22 year old male from UK, I had a very normal and common first 13 years of my life - no problems at all. Sure, I struggled to fit in and make friends as I only had one maybe two friends and some I was 'forced' to be friends with (family friends etc). At that age I knew nothng of mental health and what comes with it, I thought everything was just a natural human emotion as I'd never dealt with anything that brought me down, I was a happy kid no doubt. I was in no way smart but not dumb either, just a little trouble-maker (Can you blame me?!) who would refuse to do anything school-wise. 

January of 2009 is when everything in life became clear, and I finally felt depression for the first time in my life. A man who was a friend of my mother had been living with us for a good 5/6 years so I grew up with him, he taught me a lot about being a 'man' and just helped me kill time by playing video games, going fishing, anything. I never had a father figure in my life and he was near enough that for a time. However, after dropping my best friend to the trainstation, the guy hanged himself in my own home. To this very day I still see exactly what I saw when I went to go upstairs and play video games with my friends online. It still hurts me, and still gives me nightmares or makes me feel like utter shit from time-to-time albeit very rarely now. But from that day on I understood depression, I understood not everyone is happy. 

I chugged on with life, kept going but my school grades had significantly dropped, I got into the wrong crowd of friends and would skip classes or school itself of most days. Days I was in, I'd cause havoc in the classroom and be sent out. Almost weekly I was suspended, getting into fights, fucking shit up. I talked to a therapist when I was 15 and I just completely ignored it, didn't think it helped and I'd get pissed off at them telling me about their brand new fucking BMW. I didn't give a shit. I hated life, I knew that. Eventually, I got into college and got a diploma out of that so that's a positive thing I suppose. Dropped out of Uni twice. 

I stopped seeing a lot of my friends after school, made some new ones in college and I'm still friends with them now though we rarely talk but everything is okay on that front. Those are the types of friends I love and care for so much. Relationship wise, I've been cheated on in all four of them except my last one which ended a week ago - and in that week, I've realised I need help. My trust issues from so many people I haven't even wrote in this story yet because they're insignifanct/don't feel like they're important to my story anymore have completely broken me, I'm essentially un-trusting people for no reason because literally everyone in my life has left randomly. I'm lonely. I'm broken. I have nothing anymore (I know that's cliche, but it's true). I have so many urges just to end everything.

I moved home in April of last year, after my mother had tried ending her life because of depression, and that killed me inside so fucking much, the one person who I always trusted - broke my trust. I got into a relationship with the most beautiful, caring, loving and the best person I've ever met in my life, she was and still is my absolute world. Last week we broke up, her citing she needed a break, but I knew and she did say it was because of my behavior. She lost the 'spark' but still loves me, and still wants to be friends. Basically, I pushed her away unintentionally with my trust issues because despite the fact I trusted her 100% I'd still get extremely jealous when she'd talk to another male, and she got sick of it. I don't know how to work on this, and I wish she'd understand it's not anything she's doing but it's just what happens with me.  So now I've lost the one good light in my life and I'm back to feeling lost. 

I know I need help. Thank you for reading if you have.

EDIT: Added to last paragraph.",3.6936326860841433,4.8363407742718465,4.516000000000002,87.14566666666668,72.08252427184465,7.532168284789645,26.111974110032364,7.908726449838941,1.3501817799352749,3194,102,671,42,60,1030,336,824,0.14800000000000002,0.644,0.208,0.9962,1,2,0,0,1,0,97.0,3,3,4,8,37,70,14,2,33,1,51,24,4,6,11,129,118,53,2,10,23,3,4,2,12,2,14,1,2,9,37,47,0,4,18,7,0,12,14,29,0,10,47,9,106,41,101,62,17,116,0,10,3,6,77,42,8,14,59,434,143,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03790400447861071,0.0,0.04281778763756145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03557959943923505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044837404332799737,0.0,0.0,0.08481251208127727,0.0,0.0,0.14075076890814622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04017426272700467,0.03287966566834855,0.0,0.13032996080023732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974759557605856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719298183228025,0.043926118543071976,0.0,0.03683380263155766,0.08966572499061959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030619759697734,0.0,0.1104869226710454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809904729763873,0.11361753827456098,0.04418232917617013,0.0476885074163832,0.02824246083420035,0.038678709346748386,0.0,0.08171768956878424,0.153719092525144,0.0,0.040310157053721984,0.0,0.06486195623617158,0.061095254396962485,0.041056137198754186,0.09368259540980188,0.0,0.07274296982754548,0.0,0.0,0.3964336124739513,0.11859230630655668,0.06702073043364212,0.08203824004122688,0.07290418106772346,0.07172982420375686,0.17099468936314974,0.0,0.0,0.04233894898919513,0.037812371628303185,0.09103725668687272,0.0,0.04221647414397677,0.0,0.0454516939513723,0.0,0.0,0.11464403621531954,0.0,0.08578318088244999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577527655472397,0.0,0.0,0.13389044242013656,0.0,0.0,0.09461482092705614,0.0,0.07049904391108211,0.13941985632643553,0.0,0.0,0.04645867448126912,0.0,0.3624303436091856,0.041780580780655184,0.042856577602662295,0.03775770846918581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003219893292654,0.07270574744405076,0.11577723331954758,0.040460379873407705,0.057085029838003225,0.08670350133676491,0.042957991066103686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618369184578753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045446926432511185,0.06286678209750657,0.09511760427616077,0.06595802549672945,0.08259540999701884,0.0,0.0,0.04189554928332514,0.0410292048893918,0.0,0.04486924288285342,0.0,0.14487581872190078,0.03252077339765995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059288556750427365,0.07467245893805616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040915377248740864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04277139596039642,0.0,0.0,0.04396422127057306,0.0,0.09181609828657923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03400432873155602,0.0,0.1731009011088776,0.06814808805780408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167703625953506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731844089314959,0.03574912797748718,0.0,0.04470185276728556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060125718310188,0.0,0.0,0.103106181766757,0.037373971367541,0.03936750147706265,0.0,0.049647452009472834,0.02840772741500995,0.027398769002140288,0.042011310511584944,0.033946524369664034,0.09973439022943227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029031114037185377,0.0,0.041770135334562974,0.04451448535713795,0.051434804048825215,0.0,0.0,0.10584400026118078,0.025220852385259316,0.03394075841750209,0.1371974080672972,0.0,0.0,0.03963878574519738,0.038584090786252766,0.0,0.0491716879646038,0.0,0.0,0.03112966153552333,0.0,0.0,0.060750705034370335,0.04675115558981037,0.0,0.11014370028323016
mentalhealth,brentt45,2018/02/03,"To those who have had symptoms of some sort of dissociative disorder Have your symptoms improved with a certain type of medication? 

If so, which kind?

I'm really curious because I feel as if I've been displaying a mild case of dissociative feelings over the past year or so and there's not a lot of info about what medications specifically treat them.",4.710666666666668,7.339406861538464,5.881153846153848,72.19301282051283,72.69230769230771,9.871794871794874,32.371794871794876,10.125756701596842,3.944025641025641,286,14,49,9,6,95,52,65,0.043,0.748,0.209,0.8895,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,0,1,13,7,7,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,3,10,5,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,6,2,35,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593628036758738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996167331042483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26436958251273945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722348481167707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22225495359799166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5267181866696241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24956060486140366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747612731263892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5434432217052391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834971000331506
mentalhealth,throwawayforcon2,2018/02/03,"Does anyone else hear voices but only in the dark? Currently im suffering from PTSD and anxiety and whenever I switch my light off, the voices come up",3.0554022988505736,5.67161431034483,4.862758620689653,77.4164367816092,78.3103448275862,9.383908045977012,23.459770114942533,9.725611199111238,2.831266666666667,121,4,21,4,3,41,25,29,0.199,0.8009999999999999,0.0,-0.7351,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25918574973839753,0.0,0.0,0.23690111243502665,0.3471469018884851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918514671340273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29649151339996915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830290334666218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818591139817662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36596874237375787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576773167674143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960462163627574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unknown2502,2018/02/03,"Anyone up for talking? I really just need to let things out to someone as life's shit. Basically I've been going through a lot this past year and as its progressed its had a worse and worse impact on me and right now my life feels like it's in ruins. I just want to talk to someone who's not gonna judge me for what I say and just someone who can maybe give advice. I'm 15 and I'm from England but I'm barely able to cope, please just someone talk.",1.6606122448979583,2.9633711326530623,3.15484693877551,94.26247448979592,77.46938775510203,5.716326530612244,21.433673469387767,5.985473137389443,-0.010269387755101445,353,9,83,2,8,116,65,98,0.091,0.846,0.063,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,16,13,8,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,2,6,1,15,9,1,9,0,1,0,0,7,5,1,1,4,48,14,0,0.16304758962654187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593282175411684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400666571216488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244176034709556,0.11648123060765035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564101050271266,0.09266370261794117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672720720531234,0.2303306688866187,0.07965681643965819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861723006350413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380321886542418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089772173957428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564737351785635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789772911377098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445246098690578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924175066417252,0.0,0.12966198752208327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736600769482352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5525987743245672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39315442922666816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832157360593817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616969277911563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33231884674945106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049973019942832
mentalhealth,nothingbutnoise,2018/02/03,"Let's talk about anxiety blankets Recently I have come across several types of weighted blanket products claiming to be effective at treating stress, anxiety, sleep problems, etc. The claim is that it simulates physical contact and therefore has a related relaxing effect.

Does anyone know how valid the claims behind these products are?

What are your personal experiences with using these kinds of weighted blankets to treat anxiety and stress?",10.1487323943662,12.674246971830993,8.562084507042258,58.96847887323946,58.15492957746479,12.44056338028169,48.00281690140845,11.979248473330829,7.173465352112673,369,24,43,12,5,112,59,71,0.168,0.722,0.11,-0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,2,7,0,2,3,0,7,3,1,5,0,11,10,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,4,9,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232659162893038,0.0,0.0,0.1289579211382494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887033241802362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139615728347365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056884840684121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040817685804134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920557276427832,0.10135804379960657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885924292590642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103738314268254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764748443036714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18210262503942595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083536899438581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456344635692168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4225284634510121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823805129479728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928852305034147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44917272479158427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bam_higgy,2018/02/03,"Crashed tonight I hate depression. I understand it, i understand what is happening to my brain when I mentally crash and yet with all this knowledge I know there is no way of stopping it. Laying here. After dropping 4 valium and still feeling like.i want to end it all. Only thing keeping me going. Is my 2 beautiful kids and my amazing partner. Thank Fuck for people who love me, they are so much more important than they will ever know and I was always fight just a little harder for them. ",2.971612903225811,5.675207720430112,3.897215053763439,83.68582258064517,79.32258064516128,7.160860215053764,26.504301075268817,8.238735603445708,2.1497449462365594,390,16,69,8,10,125,72,93,0.183,0.639,0.179,-0.1137,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,8,7,3,0,1,0,6,3,1,0,3,18,19,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,2,6,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,14,3,8,17,4,12,0,1,0,2,8,1,1,0,8,53,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505575282268626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348573323736671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812028215614036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633715209453056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030373274630902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063761140038218,0.15029786620587854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449596385449752,0.0,0.0,0.11956567341844275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604125076530395,0.0,0.0,0.2077099455662734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699833691147816,0.0,0.0,0.2312423111304037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278264984992054,0.21085932876930724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987913540262666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21201687617182327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465592700690892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000597418827342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458532852996582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801236916184828,0.17588985287879674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936926698566447,0.0,0.0,0.1397693112624639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380328541369191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408951676568772,0.16699246505841198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kieginkieginkie,2018/02/03,"Strange comforts for the mentally ill Anyone else with depression feel comforted or relived or- I don’t know how to explain it exactly- but somehow feel better when they’re physically sick? I literally just have a stomach ache and I’m sitting here like “ah an outward sign of how sick I am, finally.” 

I hate this, I’m in therapy, taking Prozac and vitamin D, I’m exercising and I’m just trying my hardest and it never feels worth the effort. I’m tired you guys. I’m gonna keep trying because I have to and all that but everyday when I’m getting ready to leave for therapy I’d rather just not.",1.0495903361344538,3.641657294117646,3.5728098739495806,82.69434086134457,89.50420168067227,7.344747899159664,26.765231092436967,8.278499904357787,2.516113025210084,474,23,90,13,16,164,82,119,0.226,0.645,0.128,-0.9193,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,10,6,1,0,4,1,4,8,1,2,3,28,21,13,0,1,9,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,7,4,8,20,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,6,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616400708504465,0.21418380735166906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127427430260939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848768417820296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004384853853142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462415953928695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31708719753016995,0.0,0.0,0.2289905621076607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921356073118904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698016927633006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20638143301100956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580229577958596,0.0,0.0,0.11488164279703025,0.0,0.0,0.22134072176542074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212525214844484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066081649372653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122274652979152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571703212254603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781056126049172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24025806389012966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838457279244475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nick7805,2018/02/03,"Psychosis -- How to help someone with it? (Canada) (sorry if the formatting is bad, I've never made a long post before)
I really need some advice on how to help my brother. I'll explain some of the story below, but I'm afraid for his health, and for the safety of my mother and myself.

My 18 year old brother has had an issue with pot for around 4 or 5 years now. He's high all the time; I know people say it can't be addictive but there's no other way to describe it. He started smoking this stuff called shatter (chemically processed weed, high THC, I've heard it's really not a good thing and nothing like normal weed) I don't even know how long ago, but it was probably quite awhile ago. The past couple days it seems like he has went insane.

It started with him smashing up our house 5 days ago in a fit of rage and having the cops called then screaming at the cops for like 2 hours... Basically I don't wanna get too much into the details here, but he's always had temper issues (we had a hard childhood with an extreme alchoholic father for many years who passed away last summer, however I think this is no excuse for how he acts sometimes), but he has never done anything violent; he just yelled before.

The reason he did this is because he started believing he was bi-polar out of no where and my mom told him he needs to be diagnosed by a professional instead of just thinking he's bipolar.

 The day after the incident with the cops, he began thinking he was a ""bipolar genius"" and the way he acts is getting worse every day. He's been doing things like offering to teach me my mechanical engineering courses (he dropped out of highschool twice and understands none of it), calling everyone else stupid basically, leaving weird notes around the house, cheating on his new girlfriend (nothing new I guess) , and pretty much everything he says sounds insane, random and makes no sense.

He's also (starting today) writing out insane nonsensical, unordered ""plans/mindmaps (in his words)""  on how to get in to Harvard. He's asked me like 3 times today to call Harvard for him, and he believes he's figured out some secret acceptance puzzle to get accepted into the college (I know, insane, but you have to see his notes to realize how insane it truely is). The way he talks about it is f***king insane. He's also been making a ""snapchat documentary"" about his life as a ""bipolar genious."" For the most part, he's been calm lately unless something doesn't go his way.

We've taken him to a psychiatrist and had him evaluted by our city polices' mental health team  (upon reccomendation of the cops who initially responded to our cal after the house was smashed up) but we keep getting redirected to other people who say they can't help us. One of the cops who first responded told us it's extremely hard to get help for mental health issues. 

The only thing we have established from the multiple physciatrists is he IS NOT BIPOLAR, is not a genious, and has most likely psychosis from all the shatter he has been smoking. He also has a history of cocaine (not using right now) and currently uses sterioids I think (and has been for a year or two). 

He has always been an entitled narcicist, but he has never seemed insane. He's not an idiot, but he's also definetly not a genious. 

I don't know what to do....... I've left out countless details that are probably important to this situation, but I hope this is enough for someone to give me some advice. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.
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mentalhealth,new_letter-of-free,2018/02/03,"What if I don't see anything wrong with the traits that got me diagnosed with a mental disorder, don't lack insight, and don't want treatment because I like who I am? I have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, have had one since I was 3. But I never had a problem with it, other people did. When I was 12 and learned more about what autism was, I became insistent I didn't think it was a disorder and it didn't need to be ""cured"". I didn't like the idea that my special interests, the things I value most in my life and that are my life (I'm either intensely interested or barely interested, it is a binary in my life) and the stims I do to relax or just because they feel good were just symptoms of a disorder rather than personally meaningful things to my life.

But now I'm 18, and I realize nobody will agree with me. They will think I am just romanticizing, or that I am whitewashing to ""cope"". I have been told to hurt myself just because of my views. I told my psychiatrist (who I am seeing for reasons other than autism) that since I didn't want treatment and it isn't a problem isn't my life, I didn't meet the criterion of ""clinically significant impairment"". He said that a diagnosis can't be undone because it will be on some record somewhere and he didn't have the authority to say it was wrong (only a developmental psychologist/autism specialist did). He did say I didn't have to disclose, but still, to know I will be considered disordered for who I simply am, to know most of y'all think my deeply valuable things are just symptoms of a glutamate overdose or whatever, it hurts. Honestly, when I see the letters A, S, and D together, it feels like a train ran over me. This isn't about ""seeing the person, not the illness"" because these things are the reason I got diagnosed. I don't want to be seen as having an illness for who I am.

What should I do?",7.5407526881720415,6.034060602150543,8.26677419354839,72.60349462365595,63.946236559139784,11.922580645161293,35.98924731182796,10.980518767755715,3.7432086021505375,1472,57,295,34,18,498,157,372,0.053,0.8059999999999999,0.141,0.9769,0,0,0,0,0,2,49.0,0,1,2,0,12,18,0,0,23,0,55,12,0,2,1,55,79,20,0,10,16,0,2,3,0,5,12,3,0,2,30,13,0,0,14,1,0,1,17,6,0,1,26,11,44,12,32,43,6,10,0,2,6,0,19,4,0,8,8,220,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172347199743173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656530366802473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769267360330973,0.0,0.0,0.4994521503979327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813924050086319,0.062265574844229385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310385694612137,0.13941616557421266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660853033293331,0.09839058699320767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957993336453606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078107826399292,0.1277427472220787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783459808692902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462643038884469,0.06722149557574121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906040475835068,0.0662874611120334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042426869628707,0.15220571963250046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667965546265417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922554129685256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290706016855462,0.13862281753705227,0.0,0.0,0.2778140409979404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419572379621784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960435973504317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811807257142899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316151714201501,0.1675416644498663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665660931005342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422384805465686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058682093490245,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BornBody,2018/02/03,"Stray I feel like a stray dog that’s lost it’s way; forgetting all manners of things like communicating or bathing. I’ve just kind of fallen into this pit, deeper and darker than the ones I’ve fallen into before.

I went to the doctors office not even a week ago to get on anti-depressants and referred to a psychologist. I couldn’t help but cry the entire time I was there. I went with my grandmother, but if someone else was watching they’d probably thought I came alone.

I haven’t gotten my prescription filled yet. I had asked my grandfather to do it for me since I’m unable to do just a few simple tasks, but he refused, and eventually I refused his chance to “make it up to me.” I didn’t think it was a lot to ask for, but I guess I can understand how ungrateful and childish I was being.

I’ve tried to push forwards some inkling of independence, but I feel like I don’t have anyone to support me. I tried to get rid of the belongings that was purchased for me and replace it with my own. I want to do things on my own, but I can’t and now not even my grandparents are willing to help me. They just turn away and pass it off as something that’s nothing when they know I need this medication and I need help getting it or calling the doctors office to get an appointment.

I just feel so stuck. I don’t have any money to leave and I don’t have any persons that can just support and help me or even talk to. I just feel very alone.

I know I should be able to do these things on my own, and my grandparents are trying to force me into doing things, but I can’t. I can’t stand knowing that everyone hates me and that I hate myself.

They keep telling me to get a job. That I need to do something with my life. But they’ve refused to allow me to even leave the house to hang out with friends. They refuse to let me do simple things. And each time I fall back into a small pit. But this time I am really struggling to get out and the pressure in my head feels like too much.

I don’t know what to do.",3.670457348406992,4.251386103117508,4.649868961973279,88.25112410071941,71.6618705035971,7.779684823569716,26.40364850976361,7.83500028581142,1.2529274409044198,1563,48,349,19,28,510,184,417,0.13,0.774,0.096,-0.9247,3,2,2,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,5,1,19,13,2,2,15,0,38,5,1,4,1,80,77,31,0,7,21,0,5,4,1,2,4,0,1,1,24,26,0,5,13,1,2,11,12,5,0,1,14,6,61,8,52,56,9,36,0,1,1,0,22,15,0,7,14,246,85,3,0.08571176989421961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759783124589601,0.0,0.0,0.17754308858619822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165738854197951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059931662407952564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025786922531413,0.0,0.08052902927454997,0.06590706037684316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293440320983198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752130021237149,0.09803143088294976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415035451414906,0.0,0.0,0.07382342181520461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754592568108013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160118545252865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22644726259271136,0.0,0.0,0.08190126923113114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669223104523494,0.1836975166153557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622070080303595,0.0,0.26868517288132393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442117776886444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692452556160231,0.08796500375768247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22980317053411106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889987457541946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505570607695541,0.07618455929992123,0.0,0.08925561866231878,0.18841978870972212,0.0,0.0,0.18151277703079674,0.0,0.08764609186691906,0.06054075787446605,0.1674977652063529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356452184223248,0.07286908168216849,0.0,0.0,0.05721327196719244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634559083289503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300801299489485,0.19066257398001307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822427548727211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808051351836317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748402114145493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241178475271526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490915456953942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090166177748924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726233044861659,0.1319702159255504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960455191387046,0.0,0.0,0.19452940149106696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889187393683467,0.07491586478673133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28471545678037324,0.054920641258635314,0.0,0.06804557119840686,0.14993766690334284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745779964695028,0.09322979289059853,0.0,0.08922897524779938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072118662544195,0.05055502259899418,0.06803401338753674,0.06875281175488235,0.0,0.0,0.15891133880283706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MartynLann,2018/02/03,"Should I help him? So, there's this guy (I'm also a guy) I used to hook up with and generally hang out with some time ago.

We stopped hanging out alltogether after he got a boyfriend and it wasn't until six months ago that I tried to get back in touch with him. It was going great but he didn't really have the time to meet and I was going through some rough moments and acted a bit pushy. I apologised and took some distance.

So yesterday I checked out his twitter because he is always posting a lot of really thoughtful and useful articles about science. (He is a biologist) And he had decided to write about how he is dealing with a lot of anxiety and is going through a bad time mental health wise even though he is receiving professional health. And he wrote how he'd like to be able to talk about it and needs some help from his friend's who might want to listen to him.

And I want to help. I really do, but I'm afraid it might come off as if I was taking advantage of his vulnerability and I don't want him to feel like that or hurt him in any way.

Should I keep my distance or do you think I should reach out and tell him I'll be there id he needs my help?",2.3131967213114706,3.7993526147540986,3.8212786885245897,89.39544262295082,76.13114754098359,7.3390163934426225,23.2655737704918,8.07648339933343,1.0154547540983605,914,27,207,15,20,303,126,244,0.07,0.758,0.172,0.9716,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,1,0,1,13,9,0,1,8,0,23,2,0,4,0,57,46,26,0,9,5,0,3,2,1,5,2,1,0,2,8,23,0,2,4,0,1,9,3,3,0,1,10,4,26,6,34,28,7,31,0,1,0,0,37,8,0,11,14,133,34,1,0.12076257986955502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409748131447606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657379149136476,0.10048414054004157,0.0,0.0,0.0821226954366145,0.0,0.09238304305849293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092858969690496,0.10083170993474742,0.0736157478107388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184145998358612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402626950802928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450091717842357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079762545064825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106118889157846,0.08627281118831451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330086964268662,0.0,0.0630934636901684,0.0,0.20589647134383995,0.0,0.09658486699330253,0.13314117063554276,0.0,0.23914788067324025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25672995057702896,0.0,0.0,0.32377844688252233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292788394214436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733932969343632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799699314147695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533605378874487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170027684659535,0.25622002657869325,0.0,0.0,0.0963915391096623,0.0,0.0,0.17908784559236338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565716965470085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23209080290107054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096292416132342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079843097340534,0.09706438729392501,0.10555181763216112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737978500115432,0.1186486215767298,0.095871999105356,0.21125289440663853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417166966664304,0.08198986466749349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860019081184844,0.0,0.0,0.2136866953728577,0.09585571486504638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Squatchopotamus,2018/02/03,"Can you physically escape Seasonal Affective Disorder? Long story short, I have dealt with depression my whole life, and I have an extensive family history of depression and S.A.D.  I take treatment seriously and I am pretty good at coping at this point in my life.  However, the seasonality is getting old.  I have a pattern where every winter I have an especially bad depressive episode where I often make weird decisions and my depression and anxiety symptoms get pretty crippling.  I'm tired of living like this, where I have to avoid making major life decisions from December through March.  So my question is, since I live in the north eastern United States, could moving south or south west lessen the effects of my annual bout of SAD?  Thanks!",8.578384615384618,9.697132646153849,8.538269230769234,62.79048076923078,61.0,12.653846153846155,37.78846153846154,12.161744961471696,5.373769230769232,604,28,89,20,8,196,90,130,0.228,0.648,0.124,-0.9428,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,5,12,0,1,6,0,10,5,0,4,0,17,17,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,15,3,12,16,2,22,0,5,0,0,2,13,0,3,8,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642542215207362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707282642806586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151184125247486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5243262969191372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442365729459247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822717715506246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347178968275615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902665471873265,0.0,0.0,0.127650287226954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224902470836746,0.07435265869340102,0.0,0.2687742447231999,0.1346839262174208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031768664169875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175456379798175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159698474246427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386934606998095,0.0,0.0,0.3096651864546523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048834596996762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125893669146976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818434651445673,0.11442842005249144,0.0,0.0,0.1401166927909851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492075120455086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699154132290257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mab6644,2018/02/03,"What wouls you do in this situation? So there was a guy that knew from work (mental health field). We never were on the same shift or anything so I can't say I know him that well, but we are familiar with each other. Anyway, awhile back he left our job after having a mental break down. I don't know all the details but it seems to have been building where he just lost it. So now im seeing fb posts that are getting increasingly bizarre and paranoid and sometimes vulgar.. I honestly don't know what to do. I was never close enough to him to feel comfortable bringing up his mental health but part of me worries that things will get worse. Of course maybe he has closer people to him that are seeing this too..
Basically I feel in a way that I should say something, but another part of me feels it isn't my place.  Has anyone experienced something similar?",3.522142857142857,5.3929897857142866,4.1911904761904735,86.38714285714286,73.76190476190476,6.942857142857143,23.904761904761905,7.7094869923839395,1.1038404761904759,676,20,134,9,14,215,109,168,0.097,0.845,0.058,-0.7657,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,3,1,0,2,11,4,0,0,5,0,19,2,0,0,3,26,33,10,0,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,15,7,0,0,8,0,0,2,6,1,1,0,6,8,18,3,16,25,7,20,0,1,2,0,14,10,0,2,5,99,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170263971337516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449074071398936,0.0,0.1112060108784077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391180059212182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963236200023904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049875667962204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412067232598225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380660463589916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872880403401236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597085336417634,0.0,0.1341023483456122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22280283098728815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468264479075651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751769962999794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576300460366947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40855810510840973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084515475917394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292679809970018,0.0,0.09368679031879194,0.0,0.1411891159992544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942362800562626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493229657890756,0.0,0.0,0.21537294838778606,0.12302339972177607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189934172447422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080697072960834,0.1336536771815481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977883583729672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726524278560284,0.0,0.0,0.12150414569727615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838114580019744,0.13723790466896382,0.13771586856970836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loudvoid,2018/02/03,"I didn't realize my mental illnesses were this bad. It honestly feels like i'm going to need to be in therapy, medication plus some form of healthy regimen for the rest of my life in order to function almost normally. I say this because I do okay when i'm in therapy and taking medication but if I don't get to go to therapy plus keep forgetting to take my medicine my mental health deteriorates fast. I'm somewhat taking medications but it's not enough. I truly wonder if i'll ever get to a point where i'm able to not be completely dependent on therapy to help me navigate through life. ",4.151538461538461,5.744186205128205,6.5244444444444465,71.44000000000003,71.56410256410257,11.011965811965814,32.65811965811966,10.980518767755715,4.22825811965812,474,23,87,17,9,169,74,117,0.066,0.84,0.094,0.2826,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,6,7,0,1,1,21,21,8,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,2,10,3,19,17,5,12,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,7,4,56,14,0,0.13218643913589706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236562450302827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037015524722267,0.0805796263870727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859496648173966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658392728987792,0.0,0.0,0.11957020201488032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683743538520588,0.09443401853078423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812391730885773,0.0,0.15024919919723115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050800348489334,0.0,0.0,0.08860178378224122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749338070398815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673438235823628,0.06457961716685283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39949179213210784,0.2664256801333864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801456969097913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951464451470102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495891141643113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511996197604152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981632542746013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6046668532572015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335055454690465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,starterpax,2018/02/03,"How will forgiving myself help me to become a good person? I deal with intense guilt and shame as a result of past actions. I now recognise that those actions were a result of me trying to deal with guilt and shame. 

For example, I felt guilty for being mentally ill and dysfunctional, so I self-destructed to validate my dysfunction. My self-destruction impacted others, and now I have a chronic, pervasive fear of doing something that will harm others. (Note- I have already been told by the people I impacted that they forgave me, or they had nothing to even forgive. So the problem mostly is with me.) 

I don't trust myself not to do something 'bad'. I am hyper-vigilant and will not allow myself compassion, because to relax could increase the chance of doing something bad. 

I do now recognise that maintaining a constant state of guilt and shame will not necessarily stop me from doing 'bad' things. However, I am afraid to let go of it, because I don't trust my judgment. I'm also afraid to relax, because I intensely fear making a mistake.

If I slip up or make a mistake, it will harm someone else, who may retaliate and be a threat to me, as well as causing me further guilt and shame.

I have read on self-forgiveness and self-love. I would like to know if these processes will actually help me to not harm others, and if so, how? Why should I deserve to help myself? Is letting go of my guilt the best option to repent? What else can I do?

Thanks for reading. ",4.74063035286057,6.371912453237409,5.702353545734841,77.75804556354917,70.15107913669064,8.316820829051045,30.86399451867077,8.841846274778883,2.6983735525865016,1154,49,203,21,21,380,138,278,0.237,0.625,0.138,-0.9844,1,0,3,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,2,1,11,34,1,13,12,0,33,2,0,8,0,44,42,24,0,9,9,0,1,1,0,9,2,0,0,1,14,13,0,1,4,4,0,5,6,23,1,0,5,1,36,11,33,23,3,15,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,8,7,160,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.10804035780699578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217504651234208,0.08853750696031858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27732332185487746,0.2024696768200864,0.12227430858511767,0.0,0.0,0.11618693660365227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373321185152477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964190912085435,0.0,0.08839568198297391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22828141364287965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849737641495154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312519038336733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24916682564272624,0.0,0.0,0.10630227538207204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584201146912807,0.09286119013951892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222626677888786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084521739692584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642400992602146,0.0,0.05408899992548353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780417681908356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157311877251494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062325424271022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568851670072046,0.07675476696917287,0.096670715209547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593782066250973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148682375290132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619931014168826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380714796048174,0.2556978712128776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256140266033336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193007108437437,0.0,0.0,0.07355309750720672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579144718455356,0.0,0.07516716597300489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954468881951034,0.0,0.09990166937213878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864765923978137,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Monchkie,2018/02/03,"Deteriorating I know this is probably stupid but I really just need to get these thoughts out of my head

I’ll be 23 this year. I’ve never had a relationship. It’s what I want more than anything in the world. I’m so lonely. All I think about is how nobody wants me and how I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m fucking miserable. I’ve been miserable for years but now it feels like my brain is physically deteriorating as a result. It feels like there’s another person in my brain fighting for control of it and all they want to do is hurt me. Sometimes I think my life is a tv show or something and everybody goes home and watches me and laughs at me and my life is all a big joke that everybody is in on except for me. ",1.0613000000000028,3.2690562466666684,3.327583333333333,87.90337500000004,83.2,6.683333333333334,21.375,7.8658589789855275,0.9428999999999998,567,18,125,11,16,194,90,150,0.165,0.7340000000000001,0.101,-0.926,0,2,1,0,2,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,7,12,3,2,5,0,11,6,3,4,4,31,26,13,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,9,7,0,1,6,3,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,3,16,5,18,22,5,12,0,4,1,1,4,8,1,1,6,81,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931805786604246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957360953493265,0.0,0.14072600153449244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38180564901653335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918013601831628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669821832378815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293478060317016,0.2443380147962955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809525076358413,0.08934524940324412,0.0,0.0,0.1434344043627109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550477643123572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153617188941148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306888661861004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398218461916566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415777120866156,0.16709291524758907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268011557275837,0.13189283823127487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931863822298486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437684226461826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955287313238526,0.0,0.0,0.18359988351893736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165123772061915,0.16913247253070074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21915158196568774,0.0,0.13576220371921646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30259697242169376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22024863743640166
mentalhealth,mishvira,2018/02/03,"Social anxiety after the fact? (Or am I just overthinking things?) I don't know where to go with this one so I wanted to share and see what you guys think. 

I'm pretty extroverted and outgoing when I go out and meet people but then after all is said and done and it's time to go home- I begin to feel like I did something wrong and the familiar worry and anxiety begins to kick in wondering whether I said something off, or if I embarrassed myself by being too outgoing or if I was uncool in some way. It hardly ever kicks in before I go someplace, always afterwards. 

Does this happen to you guys? How do you deal with it? ",2.203853333333331,4.360794232,4.142900000000001,83.91328333333338,78.68,7.366666666666666,21.61666666666667,8.344100000000001,1.3821066666666662,489,14,95,10,12,166,82,125,0.121,0.79,0.08900000000000001,-0.7293,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,0,8,0,0,1,3,28,24,18,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,7,10,0,0,4,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,5,5,14,2,16,18,2,20,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,7,10,72,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393591681507315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562478807635221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251559029162605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266748920516814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656539190483125,0.17139312917141578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514978483361663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468437351896506,0.11964979883007175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807375083263607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33166875425831616,0.14810455258008784,0.0,0.15003175834043184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679989785933209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920442076331736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182367247262816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349073008380298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116111536945603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703902942941407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186291332113048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346216669777322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072769868390858,0.0,0.25787299814373144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126817963113164,0.10731626315842553,0.0,0.0,0.09766061083776036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987857385652933,0.13294010989488872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816280327848707,0.0,0.17008698861477886,0.0,0.0,0.1831162310921584,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnthropologicalKohl,2018/02/03,"I think I really need help and I'm scared Sorry to vent but I really think I'm starting to need help...like proper help. For the past 5 years I have suffered with highs and lows of mental health but am starting to see a pattern form- during winter I am so low it's crippling...I can't sleep properly, I either eat to little or too much and am always so tired. I don't enjoy anything I used to and I am so irritable and snappy, being wound up by the smallest things. But then when I'm okay I am almost euphoric (usually most of summer)...I feel on top of the world and like I can do anything. This also leads to me being really impulsive and doing things like quitting my job, buying things I can't really afford or don't need, breaking off relationships and then being horrified about it later etc. I seem to be cycling through good and bad a lot more lately and when I am down the thoughts I'm starting to get are horrible, sometimes even brinking suicidal. I do the usual things like exercising, trying to take care of myself by eating the right foods etc. and have had counselling etc. before but I always seem to end up in the same situation...if a doctor doesn't try to ram anti depressants down my throat first (they always, always make me feel 100 times worse...have been on them 3 times now). I've tried mindfulness etc. and meditation but still don't seem to be getting anywhere and I am absolutely terrified that a doctor is just going to tell me I'm being stupid and that I'm self diagnosing things that aren't there. I am at my wits end and I am exhausted with trying to figure out what is wrong with me all the time...I am destroying my friendships and relationships without meaning to and just, yeah.   I just need someone to tell me that it'll be alright and that I'm not going crazy because I feel like I am.

Does any one have any tips on how I can get my doctor to take me seriously so that I am not passed off with anti depressants or being told that it's just my hormones? 

P.S I currently live in the UK",3.346323529411766,4.850395838235293,4.855539215686274,82.95992647058823,73.4607843137255,7.649019607843138,25.00490196078432,8.278499904357787,1.5467019607843135,1594,50,316,26,32,535,197,408,0.191,0.7020000000000001,0.107,-0.992,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,2,4,18,21,2,1,13,3,41,14,2,4,1,64,77,36,1,4,16,0,3,4,0,1,9,0,0,1,18,23,3,0,11,1,1,4,10,12,0,2,4,4,40,9,44,64,12,48,0,5,1,0,10,21,0,9,26,216,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599786986259452,0.0,0.0,0.06069319639131029,0.2526028472871582,0.0,0.0,0.10322239202473232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491022083025365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336914683616275,0.046264881707267835,0.0,0.0645810468880261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738000083414158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073648801830626,0.07703181766445139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330452158174863,0.06641621753380897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531904473930955,0.0,0.0,0.13444086931017654,0.0,0.3385719048587509,0.050127925367029084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151243625848999,0.054219396296054115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455624005107154,0.09177252363107458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895600007889715,0.0,0.08626574407382467,0.06365711712206483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067282577021047,0.0,0.0,0.15261243677332076,0.08018722426657267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753140671686409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856128549081239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483138347935758,0.07606671869580987,0.06701666697122209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452320679535138,0.0,0.0,0.050660495416689065,0.0,0.0,0.08267189390882326,0.0,0.0,0.07648429961650315,0.0,0.07663230505976074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055791550522979,0.22510069483615253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051428409663114974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245035602028006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072366437417662,0.0,0.0,0.19448109697341098,0.0,0.0,0.16296563353388702,0.0,0.06481390710617438,0.0,0.0,0.07598412536417039,0.0,0.0604784811798439,0.20727584649184624,0.07917502705461456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594980084005983,0.0,0.06430557906521987,0.0,0.07506208612130036,0.08495822812236921,0.16115659447303304,0.0,0.06060983735954659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301680122651835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412717504385192,0.0,0.13267113360836302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521062962725436,0.09726089066747186,0.0,0.06025214481352518,0.1327649376756768,0.08723012684421483,0.0,0.07252091572186206,0.0,0.20611086637542192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554890386249554,0.16717521909266042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316006241273189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297925779153277,0.0,0.04887388549336471
mentalhealth,Gleezy15,2018/02/03,"I wrote this song about my fight against mental health ""demons"" https://youtu.be/U16mjPJ9Sqw

It's called cellar door, basically about the acceptance and understanding the battle waging inside my brain

check it out if you'd like - I'd really appreciate it!",8.049146341463416,11.715764097560976,5.963597560975611,70.56295731707318,66.5609756097561,9.953658536585364,24.88414634146341,10.125756701596842,3.175873170731708,212,6,30,6,4,61,34,41,0.113,0.696,0.191,0.5551,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,2,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,2,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,16,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44952131954691454,0.41117880086023817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280274058706771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672791102623108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058042598871773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579655498417889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192015310027566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Still_Claire,2018/02/03,"Looking for info: national (USA) MH advocacy groups/orgs Hello Redditors, I have been looking for a national mental health advocacy group or organization that isn't funded by the pharmaceutical companies. Does anyone know of one? Any help is appreciated!",6.5646341463414615,10.420479121951221,8.905560975609756,45.81931707317074,74.85365853658536,12.06048780487805,35.02926829268293,10.793553405168565,6.229454634146341,208,11,25,9,5,74,36,41,0.0,0.848,0.152,0.7424,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420400187736648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488698157759881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114708392905142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37832977672650414,0.0,0.0,0.2385678555279542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560611294889127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5977717858807796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35868692736036273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411828091985616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djm08,2018/02/03,"Advice for talking to a psychiatrist Hi 

First of all from the UK so going through the NHS.
I have been seeing psychiatrists, mental health professionals etc for the past 2 years and don't feel like I am getting anywhere.

The only diagnosis I have had is Depression and Anxiety but I think it's something different.

I think some of the problems is my inability to explain to people what is wrong and how I feel. I tend to go blank when I talk to them and can't really explain what is wrong.

I have tried recording a mood diary/writing how I feel down but after it happens I find it hard to explain again.

Has anyone got any advice on this?
Could anyone share their process of getting a diagnosis?
Am I just overthinking the whole situation?

Private messages are welcome too!

",4.057111459968604,6.342006401360546,5.1955102040816366,77.95361067503926,73.421768707483,7.788383045525903,30.35531135531136,8.617729084823388,2.6410203035060174,619,28,109,12,13,204,96,147,0.157,0.797,0.046,-0.9359,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,0,0,9,0,16,1,0,2,1,22,32,10,0,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,9,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,5,15,3,16,28,4,10,0,1,1,0,11,2,0,1,7,80,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136854799991413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914828571553624,0.0,0.12278519020118955,0.0,0.0,0.22445638449310826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814945622781354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382419382826241,0.0,0.0,0.16769261341116184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900448866715812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24346707286583505,0.11466415459210914,0.0,0.0,0.1466978312839661,0.1365246977056454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771352584140675,0.0,0.1824363473262101,0.0,0.12836978380134678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193323748882206,0.0,0.143780139208638,0.0,0.0,0.17060834309161985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784141914272696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175037263803252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207059370259785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321931615766307,0.11127332726372988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358073841746175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028230305573556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279009798935417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804133230025092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356389067681382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25801421691858545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20568908112451356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897174193963174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919708553161606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509720540373941,0.0,0.10335937219087143
mentalhealth,plumkey,2018/02/04,"Attachment issues? So me and another friend have a friend we are worried about. He is borderline obsessed with a person, despite the person outright saying he does not have feelings for him. He is overly attached to this person, to the point where he is depressed to see that person with someone else. We’re worried about him and we want to know how do we get him to stop obsessing over the person. ",4.790399999999998,6.762781840000002,5.0183333333333335,81.34750000000003,70.6,7.133333333333333,29.83333333333333,7.793537801064563,2.1407333333333334,318,13,54,4,6,100,48,75,0.163,0.722,0.115,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,5,0,7,0,0,1,0,13,12,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,7,2,12,12,0,5,0,1,1,0,18,4,0,0,1,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794619318414365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461631390019385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850640372132082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176332882806125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580587544746301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26222099323731,0.0,0.08866171761837882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712365294806065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326317817139873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7408814137132204,0.0,0.0,0.16042220541906307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349529692809664,0.0,0.0,0.13522964836072193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378702432627344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187755352717998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000939893287504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34467900874404755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ClaraAaB,2018/02/04,"Why am I overreacting to everything? I’m a 14 year old girl. Every time something doesn’t happen the way I expected it to happen I start freaking out. I start crying and don’t know what to do with myself. I get scared scared of being in my own body bc I feel like I can’t control it. If it’s at home I’ll start screaming bc that’s an easier way to get my feelings out.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
If anyone has any advice, I’d love to hear it.
Thanks for reading!",-0.08186188811188799,1.81886174038462,2.506888111888113,93.92902097902099,85.44230769230771,5.320279720279721,18.10839160839161,6.574015621080383,-0.1316038461538458,367,9,86,4,11,127,67,104,0.168,0.7140000000000001,0.118,-0.6476,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,2,3,0,8,2,1,1,0,13,23,3,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,7,5,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,4,12,3,13,22,1,12,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,7,47,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574993684477982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534688481032428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860170115059886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884087134123383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902423761329725,0.0,0.0,0.18631874639653465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429115068803817,0.0,0.15244281613315144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152914633433053,0.12117600331423815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772380813820558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299987428809415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117318636702926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014190567695645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643657270254652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286738217427209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308796672692504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779868363900395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966511948624502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396368552937313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058116095162095,0.0,0.0,0.3601720668254063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616258698138727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890633012558554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692716804329384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305496176882386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854519877398851,0.0,0.10922921528277264
mentalhealth,Bobthehail,2018/02/04,"I think something may be wrong in my life. Paranoia, anxiety, social issues, and mood swings. Any advice would be wonderful. Know let me begin by saying I am trying to be as truthful as possible with this. It is difficult for me write all this, in fact I feel quite queezy right now knowing i am about to write all this.

Know understand that i am not one of those people that think mental illness is cool or what not (yes i have met a few people like that).

First i will begin by describing myself and somethings i do. First off i am eighteen in my senior year in high school about to go off to college this fall. I have chosen to go to a college hundreds of miles away in an effort to avoid as many people i know as possible. I do not like being around people, doing things with them, or talking. I do have friends, really i have quite a bit. Really i just don't have many enemies. My friends very seldom invite me to do things with them but find it just fine discussing their plans with myself present. Really the people i enjoying being around the most are not the people i have known sense 1st grade, but just two people i have known for a while but only recently got to known through one of my classes. This spring break three friends and myself are going down to the beach to i guess vacation. One of them has a condo and invited us along. This is the first time all of us has done anything all together sense 8th grade. I should be happy but i think its nothing more than a set up to embarrass me and harass me as they always do when we are all together. one of them is an upcoming womanizer (he has hooked up with probably a dozen girls) and the other is always in a relationship (sense 7th grade never spent more than 3 months without a girlfriend). And they love to tease me about this. I have never had a girlfriend i made the mistake of tell the Womanizer that i liked one girl in 8th grade and has sense taken every possible opportunity to shout this out to everyone while i am around. I should get past it but i can't.

Just a couple days ago one of my friends was snickering and giggling at me in a malicious way. he was mocking me and trying to get my other friends in the class to join in. I wasn't going to have it that day. So i got up and moved after telling him off. Well he got all hurt and tried to act all buddy buddy for the rest of class. people do this all the time mocking me and telling me they weren't. I can always tell by that ridiculously smug grin they all wear. Even those people i enjoy being with the most do it from time to time.

I get paranoid. There is no better way to say it. I know i do. I am always looking at the cars up to four behind me to see if they are following me. If they are I drive erratically and fast to loose them. I never choose food objects in the front or back out of fear of someone poisoning them. I believe someone did poison me with an elaborate plan while i was touring colleges a couple months ago. (Its quite long so i won't out it down). When ever someone calls me to go somewhere I get very anxious and paranoid. For example anytime my dad calls me and go with him to get something i asked for or he wants to show me something i pick up some sharp object and follow him at a distance rounding corners very carefully. I have no reason for this behavior but i do it. My administration at my school is conspiring against me. Last year there something fishy going on out side my English class with my teacher being called out to be spoken to. Admin poking their heads in gazing across the class. I swear i nearly screamed and panicked. I was so anxious i could not sit still or barely think straight. Just thinking about it makes me relive it a bit. The tea machine in the cafeteria is broken and the admin broke it. (i won't get into that very much) or the teacher and student that i have never seen before roaming the halls. It's safe to say that there are far too many coincident's in my life.

Another of my friends i swear is an upcoming serial killer. I have refused to do thinks with him before out of fear of him trying to kill me. When he had a bit of a get together on a Friday the 13th I was in a panic and it took two of my other friends to convince me to come. The thing is is that he never tried anything and never has that i am aware of but i still do not trust him. Another of my friends (or lost friend) is a narcissist. I hate him. I Really don't know how to spot a narcissist but this guy is one, i just know it.

you know those paper swans. I make those. a lot. Its good luck, right? I need luck in life. to keep the bad spirits away and propel myself forward through it all. But everyone thinks it strange i do this. I place a penny face up through door ways i travel through daily. and i never drive my car through those clouds of black birds. I am just now doing this because yesterday got an intense feeling of dismay and turmoil. Even when i just sat in my car waiting for them to move. It was an omen because that day someone have very little trust for reentered my life through being present in someone else's life.

I think i have said it before but i enjoy being alone. People complicate things and are always against me. I rarely have positive feelings. and i do my best to avoid people. I tend to be near panic in a crowd or when i am the center of attention. But sometimes its switched. and how i love it! I smile all the time, i am full of energy, i disrupt class and am so chatty. I just can't help myself. i feel invincible emotionally and and physically. Its great. If i have a presentation i get up and ramble all over the place taking over and making everyone laugh. (i have won numerous presentation competition this way). The thing is is that this always short lived and i can crash very hard afterwards. I love this because i love life when i am like that, but not so much otherwise. I would never kill myself. Its embarrassing and petty in my eyes. but i do feel for the losses of thousand because of it. I just would never do. I could see myself being reckless a having a death wish but never putting a gun to my head.

I have never had a girlfriend. I am a little embarrassed by this. I have a idea of the girl i want to date and love. I am not a very superficial person. I just want to get that out there, but i am very particular about personalities. I would like her to be a bit of a tom boy. Tough and physical, plays sports like basketball, softball, cross country, or soccer. She wouldn't wear skinny jeans or dye her hair that ugly blond so many do. She would like to go out and door all sorts of things outside. It's unfair for me to be so particular about girls while at the same time wanting to be in a relationship so badly.

Personalities are important to me. they should be to every one else too. They are who we are. It is the most valuable thing we have. I am very afraid of people stealing mine. They can do this. Serial killers do it, narcissists do it, therapists do it, and your friends do it (sometimes).

I have never been very much like the other people i am around. I don't conform to what they want. I have only ever followed one TV show, i despise sports (playing them and following them), my music tastes are incredible irregular even bipolar at times i love some metal and then i love some folk or country. i have never gotten into any of the music everyone else listens to.

I have no real plans for my future. I haven't the slightest clue of what i want to study or do. I feel like i will not have a future so i refuse to plan for it.

I know this was long and i thank you if you read it. I know i left somethings out; i have trouble remembering things. The thing is is that there can't be anything wrong with me. Just what are the chances that I am the one who is crazy or insane. Its genetic ins't it? There have been no one in my family with any mental illness other than an emotionally unstable aunt. I always end up saying ""I know I am not, but I think I am."" I say it on repeat sometimes for up to half an hour or an hour. I am pretty sure i am mentally feeble. Just gonna throw that in there. Just i cant be and i feel like i somehow making all this up. Like all that i do and think is nothing more than my imagination and nothing is really wrong with me. I am incredibly embarrassed by this, you understand. I mean i KNOW i am not, BUT i think i am. 

I suppose i should clarify why I don't think i am. First no one in my family has anything, i have heard that often people who have real issues don't actually know they have them, it just doesn't feel real like any of it or my life, and why would i have anything? i feel guilty for thinking i do because there are people out there with real problems. not me. my issues are nothing compared to some other people. Plus I am a young adult going through the phase of childhood to adulthood, yes this is the time some mental health issue would surface, but it's also entirely possible i am just reacting poorly to my growing up. I know that being diagnosed with something can ruin your life, but i am quite miserable and am often scared for my life. I know I'm not, but I think I am.

If you have anything to say go ahead. We will probably never meet.

Albert Ball




You ever heard Cowboy Dan? Nothing compares. I ain't greedy.",2.5191375291375304,4.407174880341881,3.8998982128982114,87.30974825174826,76.6388888888889,6.717668997668997,23.738616938616943,7.62072044053348,1.0844493162393158,7264,232,1488,102,165,2390,567,1872,0.142,0.732,0.126,-0.9866,1,3,7,1,0,2,194.0,6,8,23,20,70,103,11,14,85,3,205,35,8,10,35,306,324,116,3,29,70,2,13,12,13,19,16,12,3,12,111,85,5,7,52,12,2,32,50,44,1,23,33,34,266,58,227,249,39,210,1,6,8,7,123,91,0,38,94,1136,377,20,0.0,0.0,0.02507495008762069,0.0,0.0,0.02510919371290409,0.0455547458858804,0.0,0.0,0.026612628073002183,0.0,0.020548558084917828,0.14966409795345995,0.0,0.0,0.0698948628280864,0.05388761922808928,0.019656868566858,0.05805685184223941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268704771247409,0.09149721899281092,0.024021678925532947,0.0,0.048283244867017634,0.019758134198980863,0.0429090795007465,0.07831821897501498,0.0,0.06559453804051446,0.028949854635116106,0.026965679263804557,0.022725444511349585,0.11221064666246763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787134603627192,0.0,0.02619811669663524,0.0,0.0,0.022134264465884526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041031284210366434,0.05686282094066788,0.0,0.0497141153384296,0.0,0.0,0.026080234256560062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026295259132263108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439549069044398,0.05780760917315051,0.02275844885640706,0.0,0.0,0.05091459903213965,0.06972873182090493,0.0432988727280537,0.09821201305492433,0.0,0.0,0.0484465688114424,0.0578288136331745,0.1169310462566273,0.03671351915412256,0.0,0.0,0.02348507978744895,0.08742578920251222,0.03107091312631257,0.0,0.19852159779783735,0.0,0.12082281487092746,0.0,0.14603256692981142,0.021552036249131327,0.08220365873129883,0.028329208536283217,0.028306319397588205,0.0254424313315817,0.0,0.027353172518080584,0.023017982008398292,0.025368833429089854,0.05274167408227515,0.027312950129134525,0.0,0.0,0.017223048095312932,0.027148542727697133,0.0,0.0,0.05060947771458391,0.0,0.02750739822863672,0.029006916817176612,0.0,0.1072770571323898,0.0,0.02283920323454364,0.056856184243044124,0.0,0.21182234402035016,0.02094513565836011,0.0,0.0,0.027918067487873826,0.026275231139443196,0.16334443845272625,0.15064137153381374,0.051506972128221744,0.022689460364504976,0.045479143417082105,0.02157761823247684,0.0,0.02804950438165565,0.021845263414883704,0.16233736430816784,0.024313556693190252,0.06860736916664308,0.1042041870019636,0.0,0.027989763515220662,0.0,0.0,0.10357945645973538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041019558406105064,0.05462017043860457,0.05666710528034746,0.019052772706902185,0.2774496774652717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327688250529617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20894196898723974,0.039084935444715266,0.0,0.06029590188979327,0.0,0.0,0.024529114257835518,0.2850226696475223,0.06730855232294576,0.053692333025749585,0.0,0.0,0.11587056260537007,0.0,0.026141403472515833,0.05540785567650707,0.024586974899223613,0.0,0.025830918791575102,0.0,0.10932064909059043,0.025702298490120457,0.11698771198768562,0.08230547975697079,0.02641909417752608,0.025371053243274898,0.055174368555681454,0.029107816837033337,0.04388736840600396,0.02444215723636184,0.12260381791006635,0.025725522898986424,0.0520101218268486,0.04095172629891548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02619316830057049,0.10885791202085504,0.138470723404405,0.07624005959551733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041040671361918295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024217558537454026,0.0,0.019319701588429942,0.020652944960378,0.08983545626981225,0.02365682136516229,0.0,0.029834275972730587,0.15363760890815142,0.2305035532928815,0.0,0.0,0.11986529828395452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028548473710302086,0.08722726272195637,0.0,0.050201236702011764,0.05349952060683931,0.06181667241667036,0.0,0.0,0.21201350630221846,0.09093468122220157,0.081583075252952,0.0,0.0,0.023103201010274056,0.0,0.04637210435106797,0.0,0.02954837860563476,0.02476939560559169,0.027865505524347876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777265079296288,0.08428147798869967,0.0,0.033093919404772555
mentalhealth,Emberlilly23,2018/02/04,"Hi all... Is this normal? I'm a [21 F] Lately I've been hearing voices in my head only when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's not malicious just really freaks me out because I've never had this happen before. It's usually a man's voice and it's usually just one random word like ""laundry"" and it sounds echoey... 
    Now I've been taking SSRIs for a few years... for anxity.  This has never happened before and I'm not even sure if it's a side effect... 

If anyone has any insight as to what this could be or what I should do, i' d really like to know... Just feel really worried about it :/ ",0.8332513661202157,2.7359692377049214,3.5602459016393446,87.64534153005467,82.03278688524591,6.361748633879781,17.543715846994537,7.492282038375204,0.3724076502732237,445,9,94,7,12,157,78,122,0.075,0.8809999999999999,0.044,-0.3711,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,4,0,10,2,2,1,4,25,19,8,0,5,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,0,1,12,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,5,4,3,9,13,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,10,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454654133751428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806095023149194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164498107443244,0.0,0.3116899683523043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622833004499972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209671585094176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260484992571327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239133572127667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796211411,0.0,0.20642047852127499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006530447142334,0.0,0.2065982925542442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895317860505913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825091967754158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944560782954178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410544697501412,0.13929188301041218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519868243960152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726142971564234,0.0,0.13770408382831406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434509138766466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.403422066218796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18599511811303285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794094828699205
mentalhealth,gabilovescheese,2018/02/04,"I am so out of control, I really need help. 21/F

I don't even know where to begin. I have no idea what is happening to me, and I have a vague idea of why but I have a hard time believing that it is the main cause of why I feel like I can't control myself.

Some background: A little over a month ago I had to go on a trip to Spain with my family. A couple weeks before that my mom has revealed to my dad that she was going to leave him specifically because she wants to play tennis and meet some new guys... it's terrible and my dad is horribly upset. To top it off my brother still lives at home with them and has to deal with all of this sadness and fighting all around him. The trip was torture, I almost flew out after 2 days because it was awful to see my mom being so mean and just laughing at my dad hysterically whenever he did something wrong, like knock a fork on to the ground in a restaurant or etc. My dad was incredibly depressed and moody. It was the worst 10 days of my life. When I got back home, a pattern has emerged where my dad calls me 4-5 times a day and I can't answer because I'm in school and work 2 jobs, but when I do he's either crying or complaining about mom. My mom on the other hand has made it pretty clear that she is just done and wants to do her own thing. She has maybe talked to me once in the past month and a half. 

I think this may be why I am acting out (see below) but I keep telling myself that it shouldn't. I live away from home and go to a university. I have a really great internship and love what I study. I have friends and a boyfriend (who has been a saint through all this, bless him). 

To put this all into context: I'm usually very happy and positive. I don't give up and I work really hard. Occasionally I get a little upset, but not to the degree of where I am now. As of lately I just kind of snap and totally lose control at any moment. Usually it's when I should just be slightly sad or upset and can get through it by just taking a moment to relax or breathe, but I don't know why this isn't happening.

It will be little things, like I'm with my boyfriend and we are trying to decide on what to do. He feels like he make many decisions so he tries and makes me decide. As of lately I end up snapping and crying and yelling and begging him just to ""tell me to do something because I don't have anything and am not an interesting person""

This above statement just isn't true and I have no idea why it flew out of me. Yesterday it was so bad, I totally broke down wailing and screaming because I just have been having these fits of extreme rage and sadness so constantly, I am so tired of them taking over my life. I don't feel like myself anymore. This past week I was trying so hard not to let them take over but yesterday and today I had two really bad ""episodes"" to the point where my poor boyfriend begged me to leave so he could finish his physics homework. I of course was furious but left. And now sitting down and being clear, I don't blame him because I was just screaming about nothing (we literally just had an hour long argument about coding).

I find myself just getting so mad and this force just taking over. It's like I can't stop it and it consumes everything, and I immediately regret anything I've said or done, and I break down bawling uncontrollably. I am so scared that I am hurting relationships around me because of the way I have been acting and I have no idea how to be myself again. I'm so scared of whatever force has taken me over, it's terrible. I'm miserable and have no idea where to even start to find help. I think there is something seriously wrong but I don't know, I haven't felt like this ever before in my life.

I've given up on things that make me happy. I can't clean my room, I barely do my homework... I'm a filmmaking major and my boyfriend has been trying to cheer me up so he brought me a super 8 camera and film to try filming on, because I never have before, and I keep swinging back and forth between excitement over a movie I could make and screaming about how everything I do is shit, and how I have no ideas and I study ""such bullshit"" and I have ""nothing to do in my life."" I often feel such a strong urge to rip the film out of the camera and cut it up. This is how I feel about a lot of things, and lately it has gotten so bad that I threw my laptop on the ground when a DVD wouldn't work and threw my camera on the ground when my boyfriend begged me to leave for a little bit and calm down, since I was screaming at him over nothing while he tried to do his physics homework- what I got set off by that time was my squarespace site not working, he fixed it, and yet I still threw a fit for 2 hours. Whatever this is, it's getting out of hand and so unlike me. I'm terrified.

I'm sorry if this is really general. I promise it's not usual for me and I am just really scared of what is happening. I need help.",3.290935672514621,4.089239589668618,4.539234892787526,87.89932017543859,72.69395711500974,7.571345029239764,25.45857699805068,7.793537801064563,1.167112670565302,3833,115,847,48,72,1267,358,1026,0.199,0.685,0.116,-0.9984,1,0,3,0,3,0,95.0,2,0,3,11,63,63,7,8,40,1,101,10,4,13,11,169,164,91,0,11,33,10,11,7,1,5,5,6,8,2,54,66,0,6,26,6,1,14,27,38,0,2,35,19,129,25,119,115,16,134,2,9,2,1,56,65,1,12,58,592,183,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040862397043486924,0.0,0.0461596990354163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03134768486401057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045716047560045416,0.0,0.0,0.07586815538904705,0.08207258361675869,0.0,0.0,0.04330984805066149,0.070891821150735,0.11546773947915945,0.2248034603472728,0.0,0.1176759964377884,0.051935772286592914,0.0,0.0,0.050326216371775936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047070407374103035,0.0,0.0,0.04735453472994285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049814709779025794,0.15510582876868131,0.07360974554915997,0.0510056882352285,0.1012712455286577,0.08918666453385941,0.047524201394507914,0.03970346110215505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434690486173436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082844740673384,0.0,0.05141057656742196,0.06089354747430228,0.04169756732031685,0.0,0.0,0.08285840346330031,0.0,0.04345634887585568,0.0,0.11654067713062476,0.09879557227457192,0.04426055247629755,0.0,0.0842640331944121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0356145916003758,0.0,0.09633556259803293,0.04422064612203701,0.0785943235786777,0.0,0.07373630290728415,0.05082233890788269,0.0,0.0456434872198454,0.12229083685631495,0.09814267858131004,0.1238821424652316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269396843957133,0.0,0.13871778635618745,0.0,0.09079293638109444,0.0,0.049348018793372285,0.3122288478904449,0.0,0.0,0.045744369939882776,0.08194664003304881,0.0,0.04800315261163211,0.07600146641778903,0.0,0.15599898878482255,0.14643087461645066,0.05008475565791498,0.047137522396414056,0.13023929621581376,0.1576453850767948,0.18480606616783332,0.08140936537672391,0.040794581977516786,0.0,0.05157098895737694,0.0,0.03919020114456228,0.041604533536550664,0.04361829652722992,0.1230809876986002,0.04673533766970002,0.04631084528612931,0.050213377669910235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21595398999348356,0.0735887095644315,0.0,0.0,0.06836099712456574,0.03555301165570382,0.044520974547324114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269455433250993,0.0,0.0,0.049092026272207726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801000962135959,0.0,0.0402503074188662,0.0,0.0,0.0435767652245976,0.0,0.0,0.046897436795888967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634043014106961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718632615495367,0.0,0.0,0.049491154229986185,0.0,0.0,0.043849004715933226,0.0,0.1384540526446687,0.046652839502009665,0.07346701938957155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047318125627799634,0.038132090077148316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064636575860522,0.0,0.05160205473918162,0.03262784387640326,0.0,0.07362658601249086,0.0385393332833431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863746605822644,0.03705119283081425,0.08058199011527492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249975723703077,0.059074464182274924,0.0,0.0,0.08063896496895609,0.052981963958070886,0.04369476691925978,0.0,0.0,0.1877818860650941,0.0,0.04503027788433965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230869918029974,0.03803502754600269,0.05437865988661967,0.036589821194108176,0.07395280576418765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079778190929016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342372772472341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080012960270128,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ldaddy32,2018/02/04,"Anyone using EFT on a daily basis? Looking into getting certified to learn how to use it myself and also help friends and family with emotional blocks.

Please share your experiences, good/bad....",6.335454545454546,9.305102545454552,6.936363636363637,64.9245454545455,69.0,9.248484848484848,29.181818181818183,9.725611199111238,3.686018181818184,156,6,20,4,3,51,31,33,0.049,0.644,0.307,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,9,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,5,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23228040529600186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20309607796422055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24252160020481606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267279103585328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28412518462718955,0.2738194230519285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440833564052934,0.0,0.15175313189180642,0.0,0.0,0.2436236982767527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468892053054326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439128763998704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31883737365411513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5017276024720642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ScreamingInSherris,2018/02/04,"Does anyone else try to make it sound like their life is improving/getting better to their therapist even when it really isn't? I know this is an issue since it defeats the purpose of going to therapy or seeing a counselor, but I was just wondering if it was something I do alone or if others have done this too. I haven't seen a counselor many times--my university allows you to go 4 times quarter and there's a cap--but as my sessions have begun to run out or come to a close, I find myself making my story seem not as bad as it feels or trying to tie it up as a happy ending. I'm not sure why. Maybe I just want to make the counselor feel like they didn't just waste their time and I feel like I'm not progressing or understanding the purpose of being there quickly enough.

Not sure if this makes sense, but just wanted to see if others feel this way.",4.6071590909090885,4.867147670454545,5.53409090909091,83.88363636363638,69.45454545454545,8.218181818181819,26.22727272727273,8.00094639256281,1.405086363636363,674,18,140,8,11,222,102,176,0.052000000000000005,0.8140000000000001,0.135,0.9375,0,1,1,1,0,0,14.0,0,1,4,3,10,9,0,0,9,0,12,1,0,5,2,42,34,18,0,6,19,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,9,0,0,4,7,2,0,1,5,8,15,7,17,28,1,14,0,1,3,0,5,3,0,11,9,94,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353314494853292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690244836797222,0.14199758030083756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157133957363044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256792196996312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937943825750713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212774109562793,0.1418214401876087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157706944481251,0.0,0.1227459283446087,0.14319622903774046,0.0,0.09153464667011776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802926785199976,0.1980115173843087,0.0,0.0,0.12666495590037002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724053865304798,0.0,0.15752306415469622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752721396286306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464762131718994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616315864335726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097887284089585,0.2031181377154524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700285231552629,0.14050429965210867,0.13922811319374218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887816439895343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086995882672295,0.1261633526154258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463964695037232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669015776491186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612310464280905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848499696963395,0.16090885296565885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161621046836254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18818138981825014,0.0,0.0,0.14427275699480033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348304953712242,0.11000299682454504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125052173673569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029044228622734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gurndolf-the-grey,2018/02/04,"Need to help my mate through his depression My mate is feeling really rough, hates his job and starting to get pretty bad. Not answering his phone, putting bad stuff on facebook. Spoken to him, but any advise on how to help him through it would be awesome.",6.489374999999999,7.216860854166669,5.645833333333336,83.08250000000002,65.45833333333334,8.9,34.75,8.841846274778883,2.8527,203,9,38,3,3,61,36,48,0.14300000000000002,0.626,0.231,0.7551,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,8,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,7,0,8,6,0,4,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,1,24,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844000636239174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528193729741104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335521996309377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710810460732833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167141807589945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677172146339161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635095383058435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690873269890083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20106384688134815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27587014372755103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725935999242937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371389071740145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193048905590704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31041663364817185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926263368582228,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kbroen,2018/02/04,"Hows your Mental Health? FREE ebook on Amazon We have just released a book called “Exploring Mental Health”

For the release, I’m giving it away for FREE for the starting Feb 4th for a LIMITED TIME ONLY.

Here is the link:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0795BV1PB

Thank you for supporting PTSD Battle Plan and our fight against Mental Illness.",6.126315789473686,9.555602947368424,4.67640350877193,78.45565789473683,72.15789473684211,6.60701754385965,25.28947368421053,7.793537801064563,1.709715789473684,276,9,42,4,6,80,46,57,0.14800000000000002,0.605,0.247,0.7925,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,2,2,0,2,3,6,2,0,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,7,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,8,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029713819246257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22059522400773848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723983243927832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592688206782691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6531354347001042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430385699010416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25253259274456746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291022386104533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24515321866726225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988954030598313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597136597027395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lpk7978,2018/02/04,"How can I stop believing a religion I don't like? Well, since most beliefs are psychological and that this religion is badly hurting me and I already have generalized anxiety and I'm just very very scared.",5.602543859649124,7.703755921052637,7.0500000000000025,67.07833333333336,68.73684210526315,11.382456140350875,36.35087719298246,11.20814326018867,4.960498245614035,167,9,28,6,3,57,31,38,0.406,0.594,0.0,-0.9337,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,9,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,6,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33165062226803355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22991037714877915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509362724171803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386028641807094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217316267653311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468274495915995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008904827306845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486077389216437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512628205727793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959498511045848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27021932000765225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,E-D-1,2018/02/04,prozac + marijuana? I was wondering if anyone knew whether or not marijuana use has an effect on how effective prozac is and whether or not it can impact it badly and make it not work as well. I just started 10mg prozac yesterday.,5.328666666666667,6.268768088888893,6.517777777777781,75.05000000000003,68.1111111111111,10.444444444444443,32.77777777777778,10.504223727775694,3.5454444444444446,184,8,35,5,3,62,34,45,0.107,0.826,0.067,-0.2057,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,5,0,18,9,9,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,2,1,2,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,25,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010921447698783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595409103446851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874351565395336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30478759026949515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719083141161791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871696163030329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669775879608224,0.31348881350777724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BigOneEyedPurpleEmu,2018/02/04,"Chain of Uncontrollable Thoughts So I've already been diagnosed by a therapist. I was just wondering if anyone has issues with chains of uncontrollable thoughts and what they have been diagnosed with. For example, if i see something in tv about suicide, ill think about suicide for myself despite not been depressed then i just get stuck in a cycle of thinking about it not really reaching any sort of meaningful conclusion until another random thread is started. It perplexs me tbh and at worst is painful. 

Edit: Im with my dementia grandma and honestly, her trains of speaking closely resemble my own. Its a little scary.",7.290481651376144,9.377051201834867,7.044850917431191,68.8221387614679,64.50458715596329,10.587614678899085,40.23050458715596,10.686352973137794,5.119155045871562,507,29,74,14,8,160,79,109,0.261,0.7,0.04,-0.9794,0,0,1,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,1,1,6,6,0,2,3,0,8,4,0,0,0,22,17,8,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,7,2,9,1,18,10,2,8,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,5,3,55,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147342503715546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232747011587598,0.20404396072883504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606143842120635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675995718753725,0.3950083058537117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016649342374782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101899522241802,0.2031007859149995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950297071709161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070568495613555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465895743670433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506256450755052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980443296701312,0.0,0.0,0.1377313844460996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42569845817119206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593330053000066,0.0,0.2493700707916091,0.0,0.3089645080233689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21102391222121086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Liveinhermit,2018/02/04,"A man attempted to rob me at my job at gun point last night. I’m afraid of what this will do to my already shaky ground with my anxiety and depression. I work overnights in a gas station. I’ve had trouble holding down more serious jobs in the past due to my anxiety and my depression, those conditions dating back to when I was a teenager (I’m 24 now.)

Last night, a man came in with a gun and demanded the money in the register. While he was thwarted in his efforts to get anything, I was and still am shaken by what occurred. I already am on such shaky ground and while I am on the right batch of medications right now, I worry that this may worsen my conditions even more.

Does anyone have any advice? Maybe gone there something similar? I just want to live as normal and healthy life as possible and continue to get on the right path to overcoming my illness.",5.93770588235294,6.012759123529412,6.380000000000003,79.60000000000002,66.58823529411765,10.329411764705883,34.05882352941177,10.125756701596842,3.2905176470588238,681,29,135,15,10,221,101,170,0.226,0.752,0.022,-0.9847,2,0,1,2,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,9,7,0,3,10,0,11,3,0,0,0,17,18,12,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,6,10,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,6,0,16,0,26,10,2,34,0,2,0,0,4,17,0,3,15,89,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712048900012267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33228211387368084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023824830402654,0.0,0.2303481464863663,0.0,0.0,0.10527147461819412,0.0,0.12389384042413075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576741166285393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219467762686835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593453998638396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175159249602575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944008016213872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731742466237214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29880498032788283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454446475235265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634136614742733,0.0,0.0,0.13294271979188915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125261570850435,0.0,0.0,0.15166820522822566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28257111725128137,0.14751181930031146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372167125772922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232302786988632,0.1697280090525232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857191418397637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590450421345813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023332387124296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880117060871065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960574776699812,0.15289579157541786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stonecoldwatcher,2018/02/04,"Assertivness and respect I've been through alot the last year and I've started to take care of problems that I have. I just realized a big reason why I'm not that assertive and I would like some feedback.

It all started when I was young, I didn't get the respect I wanted from people around me. I was often bullied, teased and punched but I didn't have a real problem communicating with other people. But it made me draw back from other people and become more isolated. A big problem from that was because I often had problem with skin rashes and diseases which worsened the problem.

It got better when I was around 13-14. I had always been practicing sports, ishockey, football, wrestling and a bunch of other stuff. Around that time I was putting on some serious weight and gained some big muscles as compared to the rest. My main motivating factor was to scare away everyone else. And it worked. People were starting to harass me less because they knew if they put me on the serious wrong spot they would get messed up. But a problem remained. I manage to stop people from harrassing me and I gained respect from others. But I still in my head remained in that weak spot I was in before, I didn't take any initaitves, I was non-assertive.

I continued to do the same. Workout at the gym 5 times a week for years and years on end, I called it as a religous experience, something you gotta do. I got more and more respect from people, even the biggest people started respecting me. But today I'm 23, still very big compared to other people but I lack the ability to take initative and to be assertive. For example I often take on lots of responsibility because I feel like I need to be nice and because I have a problem to say no. This often results in me destroying everything for myself because I get to much responsability till I snap. I had a period a year ago where I just dropped everything went apeshit towards everyone who put the responasailbity on me, they saw me differnetly after that. ´ I've started to take care of it, sort of. I've started doing things that scare me. It gets me alot of adrenaline but it also gives me alot of anxiety when it dropps of. I feel like the biggest boss player around one minute and a weak person the next. I watched Jordan Petersons videos and read the book No more mr.nice guy and he talked alot about fire learning to be agressive and then become passive to learn your real power. I'm thinking about also starting to take up MMA if that might help me, I also booked in a time to parachute jump because why the hell not.

I was out partying yesterday for the first time in a while after my first real girlfriend of like 1 month broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, then it dawned on me. I often have problem getting what I want, I seem to wait and be polite rather then go for it. I don't know why, I get nervous because it scares me being with girls and I assume it makes me even more non-assertive which made her less attracted to me. I'm going to therapy for the first time in a couple of days which I hope will help me, but I wanted to get a headstart because I can't stop thinking about this stuff it's like a rabbit hole and it goes on and on and on. It makes me question everything that I've ever done which makes me regret stuff and gives me more anxiety.

One things for sure, it feels good to write everything of.

tl:dr: I get respect from other people but lack the ability to dominated and be assertive, how can I become more assertive?
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mentalhealth,SHThrowAway213,2018/02/04,"Is it normal to have hallucinations for a few days after you smoke weed? Hi, I used to suffer from very bad psychosis and  paranoia, as can be seen on my reddit account.  
I no longer suffer from it at all now,  still get a bit paranoid.
I do smoke weed sometimes, about 5 times now,  and every time for a few days after I get the symptoms of psychosis I used to get, not that bad luckily, but enough. 
Is this normal? 
Or is it expected for someone with my history?
Thanks",2.6654032258064504,4.477991387096775,4.042674731182796,86.78401209677419,75.98924731182795,6.370430107526883,24.528225806451612,7.1686216300943375,1.0077322580645158,361,12,73,4,8,119,63,93,0.171,0.7879999999999999,0.04,-0.8143,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,2,1,12,14,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,8,1,16,12,5,11,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,9,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34816586220155105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276203369892377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892145021957525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21542898395511198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566432945101718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267869333841337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40855770995504653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665542695010372,0.0,0.20620489021761412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166502764639873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21670403869615507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919523257870519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431478687648909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36014198973921824,0.0,0.1720285451912378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghostskins,2018/02/04,"Need help figuring something out. I feel like I’m going brain dead. I’m pretty sure my IQ has dropped by more than a couple digits. I just can’t process things anymore. I can’t follow complex thoughts and ideas like I used to. Slowly, even simple things are becoming a task to understand. Whether it be understanding what people say in conversation, following a podcast or reading a couple of lines from a book, everything to do with processing information has become unbelievably difficult. I either take a very long time or can’t understand at all. Metaphors are particularly hard to connect and understand. I also don’t find anything funny anymore. Even when I do understand the intent behind a joke, I can’t find it in myself to take pleasure in it and laugh. Everything I do now seems to be out of habit or instinct. I still laugh occasionally at something that would be considered funny but it seems to me that I only do it because I’ve been used to doing it for all my life, which is a pretty long time to establish a solid habit. Another example would be I’d read a piece of poetry that I used to like or a new piece of poetry that I feel I would have liked before all this, feel a tinge of something, also what I suspect to also be the cause of a well-established habit and then it would immediately go away. I’m scared of what will happen after the habits have faded away completely. I used to be a big fan of the arts. I’d be able to find it in my heart to appreciate even the most awful creations from any medium (books, poetry, movies etc) as well as understand and enjoy daunting literature for my age but now it’s all gone. It feels like a chunk of my brain has shut down. When it first started, I was convinced it was a temporary thing and that it would go away on its own... But it's been going on for more than a month now. I’m 16, by the way. Isn't that way too young to be going through cognitive impairment? Could this have to do with mental illness? ",4.939201107375915,5.801505203084838,5.9884447300771235,78.77654488827372,68.94858611825192,9.377931579988132,29.100355942258247,9.565088089820216,2.5464149891239867,1560,55,304,33,26,519,188,389,0.053,0.7959999999999999,0.152,0.9868,0,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,15,15,0,1,23,1,40,5,3,6,5,60,74,22,1,7,10,0,5,5,0,6,2,1,0,0,30,10,0,0,21,6,0,8,6,2,1,1,6,6,24,13,55,53,12,46,0,0,0,0,4,16,0,7,24,215,54,4,0.07301905390292154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517993307532642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965546058403745,0.07656684466580746,0.0,0.0,0.14483056133322306,0.0,0.0,0.06008845973549951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20581141434619474,0.0,0.0,0.044511737520865714,0.16128761644013695,0.06213383676394356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630268260133365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501068238240781,0.0,0.0,0.07655908877157662,0.0,0.0,0.05829977292699036,0.16158838859796168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143554681695422,0.14468518933134294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124963470434078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147682510521612,0.10432965339628797,0.0,0.0,0.2002142772467171,0.06210996994802408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074920552889392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457050821722476,0.0,0.06541072989317416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652793044799917,0.04894313265553092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242962394661017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051575517201605296,0.17836710701044575,0.0,0.0,0.12923912985692226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358603206937901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058283112182902524,0.0,0.0,0.05414270324794385,0.0,0.07052225726996643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553428085775793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050622218019979036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857325728600682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607762779183733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05806768243382676,0.07310481123376984,0.0,0.0,0.13294760853869503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686409052480288,0.0,0.0,0.05168326217949576,0.0,0.05831311076943028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881959415849626,0.0,0.1098024824032308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553184453872575,0.0,0.0,0.05796897249145055,0.08515599506894045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45609246160912,0.0,0.2522600725076114,0.0,0.06024836664386717,0.0,0.1159182524618864,0.0,0.0,0.13130579738913448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25935320436815706,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Great_Curve,2018/02/04,"How do I shake off invasive thoughts? I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub for this but I texted my friend last weekend and asked if she wanted to hang out over the weekend but she never responded. Although we’ve texted since then, she never really brought up the fact that she completely ignored my message asking if she wanted to hang out. 

Just to be clear, she sometimes doesn’t answer my texts out of nowhere—like we’ll be having a nice conversation and then all of a sudden she just won’t respond and the conversation stops. A lot of times she doesn’t reply to my texts. I’m generally fine with this because I’ve gotten used to it and I understand that she’s always really busy, but I have a hard time believing that she can’t just take 5 seconds to text me back and say “Hey, sorry but I’m really busy this weekend. Maybe next weekend?” or something, and spare me all this worry and all these invasive thoughts. 

The fact that she can’t just respond really quick to me asking her to hang out over the weekend often gives me a ton of invasive unwanted thoughts when I think about it. I always wonder if she’s quicker to respond to her other friends because they’re funner to be around and better than me. I always think what if she only hangs out with me at this point because I comfort her when she’s upset and she comes to me with all her trouble and I help her? Last time we were out together I feel like I talked too much and the time before that I feel like I didn’t talk enough (granted, I feel like we’re close enough that any silence between us is never awkward) and what if she’s annoyed by that? 

I know all of this isn’t true. I know she cares about me—just a few weeks ago she told me she couldn’t ask for a better friend. I just love her so much, more than anyone in the world, and I’m afraid of doing wrong by her, and I’m afraid that I am. I know I’m not, but I just can’t shake these invasive feelings. How do I shake them? 

Sorry for the long post! ",2.8845588235294137,4.273939857843138,3.87220588235294,90.00992647058823,74.44117647058823,6.7666666666666675,23.77941176470589,7.292943589461545,0.8086382352941173,1554,45,335,17,32,501,173,408,0.08900000000000001,0.7559999999999999,0.154,0.9887,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,3,0,1,2,18,25,1,7,16,0,22,1,0,3,12,85,57,34,0,10,19,0,5,3,3,2,0,1,0,0,22,27,0,2,15,5,0,9,14,11,0,1,8,6,63,14,44,43,13,53,0,0,0,1,52,17,0,10,29,228,85,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936080119308171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22348236471056696,0.0,0.0,0.06088182696939087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625997681653893,0.0,0.0,0.07969853047143162,0.33478482181574665,0.0,0.0,0.06884118568193151,0.0,0.1637255522340346,0.0,0.07618137973777729,0.10086692894836956,0.0,0.15835974485798798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127933831540648,0.0,0.0,0.07712008607105883,0.0938679682093964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501185245352994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107134535113725,0.19187557111970108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075063673256087,0.0,0.0,0.08588301615751541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019913001427229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000845221505941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476060560114938,0.14595385965794147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121596559551424,0.0,0.0,0.07922909433401948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611315015221852,0.08080213970833039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994249118388115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162615043759812,0.0,0.2071475753236569,0.0,0.09521360096722917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808976169558399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463250449909923,0.0,0.08574267750529235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22941465049396564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645606733668434,0.0,0.07119592795774503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405814241559765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892270787886234,0.08854506952529374,0.3006564007700653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484906877974762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731360112116327,0.14391776111829727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147313213800951,0.0,0.21322470346508526,0.20881701614344345,0.0,0.0,0.08554744287619861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320137202478654,0.10769065998890323,0.07732308745632442,0.0,0.0,0.10561137692963818,0.0,0.07181362744917259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708884556627148,0.0,0.09091960705213337,0.0,0.0,0.09788435853534813,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bottommy,2018/02/04,"Psychosomatic nausea is killing me For the past two months, every night I've been getting sick after dinner it started with food poisoning after a birthday dinner at a certain all you can eat Chinese place, and has persisted since then.

As soon as I stop thinking about it, I'm fine, and it becomes a viscious cycle of remembering I'm fine, then immidiatly feeling sick.

 I have generalized anxeity and ptsd I'm not sure if it's related at all, all I know is I'm dying here, anyone have any tips??!!",7.598750000000003,6.912577208333335,8.49175,68.37825000000001,63.375,11.013333333333335,37.95,10.355215969177356,3.995239999999999,396,18,70,8,5,135,68,96,0.197,0.732,0.071,-0.9404,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,2,0,4,0,7,7,0,0,5,17,16,8,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,5,4,10,15,3,13,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,10,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671473696505736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113685627477664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545152747436457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391719902156249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358091375769781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194165098146061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652306472701295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786625386092076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040125465743914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549601386414065,0.0,0.1266499676163393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394397087084347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626286547739385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21999177240578768,0.0,0.0,0.2407724833187424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26938515226144233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610563165686457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19063163650815235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311456469622398,0.0,0.0,0.1926675448125928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171975543019687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766384113912018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511736304359664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BeverlyHills69420,2018/02/04,"My therapist said my dad is a narcissist, is she trying to tell me that I'm actually the narc? Spend weeks saying that my parents were mean... Was told my father might be a narcissist... Googled, quorad, reddited.. ""Therapists want you to bring up you being a narcissist""  spend months convinced you are actually the scum of the earth and just projecting. [Also, therapist moved so I can't ""just ask them for 'clarification.,]",4.0443,6.992961880000002,5.215583333333335,74.36737500000002,76.86666666666667,9.616666666666667,28.04166666666667,9.827888789773867,3.5099666666666662,331,14,56,11,8,109,56,75,0.0,0.944,0.056,0.4588,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,1,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,16,3,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,11,1,5,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,1,2,38,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.3726259891134078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268079805724086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784869329452924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079707692032165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253879200642286,0.0,0.0,0.1523926615073918,0.20292059370116167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119970417415671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161118934312875,0.15182937805186011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687483740256495,0.0,0.0,0.6650278398346345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243480236017207,0.0,0.12962396709005067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261114318184247,0.0,0.1531466574566887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RJSAE,2018/02/04,"Accused of having a fixation on violence. Why is that a bad thing? Lots of people seem to think that I have an unhealthy focus on violence. My dad wants question my obsession with True Crime documentary shows. Whenever I come up with hypothetical scenarios about violence, and post them on the internet, people accuse me of being mentally perverse, and say that I need help. And I don't really understand why. It seems as though these people believe that you should only think about negative things for a limited amount of time. And I don't think that's fair. Everybody is interested in different things. And just because somebody is interested in violence, it doesn't mean that they are more likely to commit violence, or remain complicit in violence. And besides, I am autistic, it's so sometimes I get fixated on certain things. And even so, I feel like I have the right to be interested in as many or as few things as I want to be. And people should not assume that I enjoy other people's pain or what have you. The problem, if it can be called a problem, is that the bad things in life are often more interested then the good good things in life. Think about it. What do you watch a movie or read a book where nothing bad happens. Why is it that every time something bad happens, the media is more likely to report it then with something good happens. Humans are hard-wired to be interested in Bad Things. It does not make you a bad person, I feel. But maybe I am out of touch and wrong. And I don't like it when people presume to tell me that I need therapy to deal with that stuff. Yes I do want to go back into therapy, but I am underemployed. I don't have any sort of healthcare insurance coverage. And I haven't yet figured out what types of free services are available in my area. And I don't know what types of Public Assistance I am eligible for, if any, such as any free insurance plan under Obamacare, or Medicaid or whatever else the government offers. And so I take offense to people telling me to get help, not knowing that I'm not able to do that this time. And I just feel very very unsupported in misunderstood. I feel like people are being very judgmental towards me.

What do I do? How do I cope with people who think that there's something wrong with me?",4.784363610478362,6.204795644646925,5.726599515945331,78.44030929669704,69.77448747152619,9.223263097949886,29.66408029612756,9.595489714322824,2.7838319476082005,1804,70,337,41,32,594,192,439,0.153,0.746,0.101,-0.9689,2,0,3,0,0,0,48.0,0,4,2,2,18,31,1,1,15,1,42,3,0,2,3,77,72,37,0,11,16,1,5,5,0,2,3,1,0,2,41,24,0,1,19,3,2,2,12,13,0,0,0,7,40,20,55,64,6,33,0,0,1,0,20,22,0,15,13,244,81,7,0.06819229072166869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911928831207002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524356623060628,0.34162628615224205,0.0415693874859701,0.0,0.0,0.07682935980538358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963195318199793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874162029864499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030325742060299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124642981491866,0.0,0.0,0.05967553315027008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056965908654328615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045040364884851206,0.0,0.05745494604238807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379202845518205,0.09743317223404813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125531473813261,0.0,0.03875525030908068,0.17158937428804874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809066524300192,0.0,0.061086898155680004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141571007787662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495339919631784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963324632446812,0.16657654360477336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057974646992169636,0.0,0.0,0.0455188835785294,0.06913627958851777,0.06850832169675809,0.07428139585094885,0.0,0.0,0.0687217900494922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011274390174781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654323421036923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186330995613609,0.07256140524183617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254835335863463,0.05954287795889133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530936442114764,0.0,0.0,0.13050162530122214,0.0,0.0,0.07639097214715339,0.0,0.06821074452399964,0.0,0.04368572759970034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823584367995875,0.0,0.054229246620006055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415940069936394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749327091430362,0.0674439191960891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806385801369646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051272115987402826,0.0,0.11920613557523872,0.0,0.1559676549145884,0.0,0.36243142290831226,0.2184743320521436,0.06699857940286832,0.0,0.1192904193230412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709905795715562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879734455939974,0.1206647396069103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845988072319749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911512979801078,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PinkPetalMetal,2018/02/04,"Sister with depression/anxiety doesn't shower Hi guys, I'm new to reddit and am seeking support in this issue I'm facing with my sister when it comes to personal hygiene. 

Here's a little background. I'm 22, and my sister is 24. We have grown up in a single-parent household with a loving mother who is supportive and hardworking, but is exhausted. We lost our father at a very young age and have been through other traumatic family losses as well. My sister did not do well in school (but was able to graduate by the skin of her teeth), was bullied by her peers, and did not join the workforce until about 3-4 years after she finished high school. She still does not have her license and is very dependent on my mother, who is a night shift nurse. I just graduated college and have not had the same challenges with mental health as my sister has, and am more independent. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of comparisons to take place due to the fact that we're so different from one another, and that I am the younger sibling. These comparisons are never overt or stated aloud, but are seen more through the tensions that arise in our household. There were tensions among my mother and sister during her teen years for sure, but I am noticing that they haven't really gone away and are worsening as of late. My mom means well, but she is tired and frustrated. Working nights, she has to sleep during the day and organize her time so that she can bring my sister to and from work or tend to other needs (as my sister will not do chores). Now that I'm officially finished with college, I'm living at home again, and will be for a while and I want to do what I can to help my sister and my mother ease some of the tension and get my sister the help she needs. So I've been making sure to bring my sister to and from work and of course make sure chores are being done. Although there are many issues that need addressing here, the latest one that has caused the most tension is my sister's lack of hygiene/personal upkeep. 

This isn't a new problem by any means--I don't ever recall her being regular with her hygiene. However, it's gotten so bad recently that we can smell her from across the room. My mom can't help but gag at times, and sometimes she'll make comments that are honest, but are of course, very hurtful. I've been trying to help my mom think about other ways to soften her approach. Sometimes she's receptive, other times she's not. My sister will often try to cover up with perfume before she goes to work, but that's a very temporary solution. She keeps her hair pulled back, but it's very matted and I'm worried that it might be beyond repair. I have gently approached this issue with her multiple times, discussing with her the importance of being clean and doing her hair. She always says, ""I know"" but never does anything about it. I know she knows. My mom isn't as soft with her approach, as I've said. She's straightforward and honest, but sometimes in ways that can be hurtful to my sister's self esteem. 

In the past, my sister went to regular therapy sessions, some of which she invited me to attend with her. However, the last appointment she made was in the summertime, which was one I was present at. If she were to make another appointment and would allow me to go with her, I would like to bring this up, but also realize that she would likely be very embarrassed. I have trouble figuring out when I'm overstepping and when I'm helping. Anyway, since she's not seeing her therapist and hasn't for quite some time now, I'm at a loss for what to do or who to turn to do address this issue. I'm worried about this being an issue for her at work or in other public places where people may pass judgement on her. I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do to help her--if so, what can I do? I know she's the one that has to make the decision to shower--but I'm really concerned that she won't because it's been such a long time. If we keep waiting until she's ready...it's going to be a much larger issue than it already is. If anyone has any words of support or ideas for next steps to take, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.",6.542691477885652,6.074246839805827,6.8168673139158615,78.80310571736788,65.43203883495146,9.703085221143477,30.568392664509172,9.090341537353329,2.3951857389428257,3292,101,638,49,45,1066,324,824,0.1,0.789,0.112,0.3765,6,0,0,0,0,0,95.0,6,1,1,10,33,33,1,5,31,0,87,10,6,11,8,127,141,67,0,14,30,24,4,2,0,11,3,2,8,3,45,45,0,3,10,0,0,16,18,15,3,4,22,10,85,18,105,98,10,90,0,5,2,1,92,30,0,18,43,454,130,14,0.05584480634876508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162613247494205,0.04465907146093462,0.04646735251633535,0.0,0.0,0.07595276663433621,0.11711629731008917,0.04272112400284857,0.0,0.0,0.03904798705547891,0.0,0.09191103467831366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246803386327649,0.042941208988024775,0.04662808066209932,0.034042475617454555,0.0,0.047519817038459033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473599856014255,0.0,0.04810535583237327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03601528016939283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05834593667331865,0.0,0.0,0.0977403327346266,0.057148625797420666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665116985535658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051482451795905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264551336512778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029176606407847836,0.0,0.06347578078414105,0.0,0.0,0.06156909614899875,0.0,0.05529513819322437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059360417727862186,0.0,0.0,0.22458957922548653,0.05900310400009809,0.05601689407500345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195660404122206,0.06304198891456457,0.0,0.34972481335154376,0.0,0.09927485959328054,0.0,0.0,0.1227633804056972,0.045520970681258134,0.06299537398995751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456590310376104,0.0559711669184943,0.049311987130240695,0.049420896285085635,0.0,0.0,0.060961202992806864,0.04747725732854667,0.05040211805657032,0.052841706038130064,0.18638420939914385,0.05661786844869871,0.0,0.0608313655797761,0.0,0.0,0.056278429960923776,0.05924251445447067,0.0,0.2616190490124499,0.0,0.0,0.04105235825211533,0.12422464890191227,0.08614191475855068,0.1078705239253036,0.05939158509742665,0.10481313545477082,0.0,0.0,0.06357968216495334,0.0,0.0,0.1513675442274849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053310186631447404,0.03871575720536124,0.09752306173829237,0.11669187334663728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343593766993136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939782562499881,0.0,0.0,0.0715512258700222,0.0,0.05514000910176865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053121199169652036,0.04441003145493915,0.0,0.11303585087373955,0.04450108040851412,0.0,0.058258312321473174,0.0,0.0,0.04619540089600406,0.0,0.05588513680003858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656958242807886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459773448780096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901160733610479,0.21053227635029972,0.0,0.08397668880473906,0.0,0.0,0.051414394699586655,0.06386340298294553,0.06484012440898955,0.0,0.0357830969938392,0.0,0.0,0.19538133404400773,0.06418538979502376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582991552289535,0.060743113067626316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764668826738832,0.03293871367354265,0.08865401583575297,0.0,0.0,0.15063356279749765,0.05176869497047873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327842065167268,0.1134262232371593,0.0,0.1586821926575735,0.0,0.0,0.0719244486894156
mentalhealth,Throhuhwae,2018/02/04,"Recently tried to take my life— so I’m going to seek professional help. However, I’m not sure when to do this, because of familial issues. It’s like the title says. Recently tried to hang myself, haven’t told anyone (no one to really tell to be honest) but am thinking of seeking out a school counselor so they can refer me to professional mental help (if it’s deemed necessary). However, my parents are extremely stressed and preoccupied with things. For example, my mother recently had cancer (it went into remission luckily) but she is definitely preoccupied with physical health. 

Moreover, I’m worried the counselor will call my parents. Actually this is inevitable, and understandable (parents should know if their kid tried to kill themselves) but I really don’t want my parents to have a mental breakdown and stress more than they already have ; or worse just disregard or misunderstand whatever the counselor tells them. 

They have disregarded me before— saying you aren’t suffering, you’re mother is (what do you even say to that?), we can just go to a psychiatrist next summer maybe possibly, you don’t know what mental illness is, etc.

So... when am I supposed to talk to my counselor?
",7.4458090724441455,8.876521289099529,7.792122545700746,66.04081753554505,63.59715639810426,11.336628300609345,36.87237643872715,11.20814326018867,4.762146648612051,956,46,147,28,14,313,127,211,0.193,0.754,0.053,-0.9892,7,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,1,3,5,0,8,7,1,2,6,0,22,3,0,0,1,28,35,15,1,4,10,6,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,1,9,8,0,2,5,0,0,4,6,4,0,1,3,3,21,3,21,29,2,13,0,1,0,0,27,2,0,4,8,102,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.10543276442682263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922630727290855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554501825922773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586099914589766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032228970404152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204946555241283,0.07136028728384035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185176159745113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280476869508275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148428940717322,0.0,0.0,0.14483566796341876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127670907969819,0.0,0.0,0.11953173702356315,0.0,0.11875339183472244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631279486162128,0.052783542214969136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854204956182964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266407827597948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490319268583217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321160932235128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4798684968657799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180037934758048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842810020247945,0.0,0.3200333724108796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577564343372866,0.0,0.10934360593378947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24752198395188446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018276860113366,0.0,0.08123364310803,0.0868395379898555,0.18886578966207587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177786671341717,0.0692285292947515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323813208122726,0.0,0.22005893714701885,0.0,0.0,0.11247484707603772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372558263676505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001554062503835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097212270296035,0.11010335750435858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiwiluke,2018/02/04,"I'm starting a new career as a Mental Health support worker and while I have personal experience with Depression and Anxiety, I haven't experienced other illnesses I am going to be studying while working but I'd like to improve my understanding and ability to help the service users in the home I'm working in. What is your condition, the signs you need help and other than your medication what helps you at these times?

Thanks in advance for any responses, If you don't feel comfortable posting publicly please message me privately",9.6103125,9.42376357291667,9.475083333333334,61.32825000000001,59.10416666666666,13.096666666666668,44.2,12.340626583579946,5.949927499999999,437,24,66,13,5,143,70,96,0.065,0.6559999999999999,0.279,0.9743,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,5,0,4,0,5,0,0,5,0,6,3,0,0,0,11,15,9,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,11,14,0,12,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,1,6,45,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439376931376416,0.0,0.1619211599446141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18230451867229652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20704644623722096,0.0,0.0,0.10702287135812888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029262212615055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22498723799147674,0.0,0.0,0.4256185438524368,0.0,0.21231464941124548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340755926034716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21322760431871424,0.2133059200063857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694499082443664,0.0,0.20442486902561094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18481544723591067,0.0,0.2323417588951607,0.0,0.0,0.20271407442752068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498157391845033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24019198808754516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19487030413928688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342205009174692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22034802755271388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081855024360625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ILostWhoIAm,2018/02/04,"What Is Happening To Me? Trying to keep this as short as possible, i'm just going to give a summary. 
I cannot seem to get my ex boyfriend (who raped me, abused me, and drove me to a suicide attempt) out of my mind. The doctors say it's because of my BPD. I feel like I am spinning out of control. I've been doing everything that I can since my suicide attempt to change who I am and stay off the grid. I just want a new identity and to start over. Now I'm getting these impulses to do insane destructive things that I wouldn't normally do: speed down the highway and shoot out the window with a gun, have sex with all of my ex's best friends, do a shit-ton of drugs, kill someone, kill myself, set my ex's house on fire, etc. 
Obviously I haven't actually done any of these ideas yet. But this urge to do something just keeps growing. If I don't figure out how to get it under control, i'm going to have to do something that i'll regret.",4.183815566835875,4.125511573604065,5.427728426395942,85.3883269881557,70.31979695431471,8.597123519458547,30.12225042301184,8.344100000000001,1.940678849407784,728,27,162,10,12,244,113,197,0.206,0.733,0.061,-0.9864,0,0,3,2,1,3,25.0,0,0,0,5,6,8,4,0,9,0,18,4,0,3,2,31,35,9,4,5,5,3,2,1,1,1,2,1,1,0,13,10,0,4,4,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,3,3,20,3,31,31,3,21,0,1,0,2,8,10,0,2,6,106,33,1,0.0,0.1621717299592319,0.13356797981823873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307810778284838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343630798786413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436394206611443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238633385234656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447931340433297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070286712933416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400949754580372,0.0,0.1400682605078215,0.0,0.0,0.1587288406481891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264920544147229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301232837015805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920693348875671,0.0977818613456644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574748374568793,0.0,0.21453095940863665,0.13130073508872084,0.15557578287756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210360482562554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793268196031032,0.0,0.15451258193884634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24331743242051185,0.3028586554701125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686907186425385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820237663726093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321924756322536,0.0,0.0,0.13410615379076718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430336763903188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884663923575423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460373634128145,0.0,0.0,0.14049782675731598,0.11322248534726426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597176740172595,0.21074253359249048,0.0,0.0,0.09687917886837116,0.1458880525672316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994329668507491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093211872698363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929275569932111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073104581679279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greenleaves12,2018/02/04,"Help controlling paranoid thinking for someone close to me? Someone very close to me has struggled with paranoid thoughts and depression in the past. Then, they got much better (at least it seemed like it to everyone around them + me) but now their thoughts are slipping again. They have had bad luck looking for jobs and recently, a prospect fell through that they were very excited about. It's affecting them a lot and I feel so helpless. They listen to our attempts to reason with them and say they get it but it just comes back again. Any advice at all would be incredibly helpful (ahh and going to a professional is not a possibility right now at all). Thank you in advance.",4.674378181818184,7.0905492960000025,4.32341818181818,84.30570909090909,72.03999999999998,7.4254545454545475,31.363636363636363,8.296473431620573,2.42236,542,25,99,9,11,164,87,125,0.118,0.72,0.161,0.7335,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,9,4,9,9,0,1,5,0,8,0,0,3,2,28,20,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,6,11,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,5,4,15,5,18,13,5,21,0,2,1,0,15,9,0,3,9,73,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330887137021256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060721592472093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788320344400267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637474693768362,0.14808369047683378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685573916395046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277529167417356,0.0,0.0,0.1989182748544216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527552649224169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946992934303276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967581926181321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266046320401172,0.0,0.10079471148009823,0.0,0.1418466825350699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23775411198644525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599708324916172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664650347032381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893320372951818,0.0,0.0,0.15078054638101754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303760443584306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930504246146846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19994067372071805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235007650513832,0.1751162802494063,0.0,0.0,0.15145986710724935,0.0,0.14103950363509507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145697513534085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005439694761153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854095452269954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632842956998644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364167223475925,0.0,0.2815994978186994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926722531404549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598762573981245,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vertomg,2018/02/04,"Hypersensitivity and empathy Very rarely I get hypersensitive and empathic to peoples emotional states. As if I’ve been color blind for the past years and suddenly I can see a whole new spectrum. As if I’ve been living on mute and then it got dialled up to 11.

I feel like that only when smoking weed (haven’t in years).

The experience is scary for several reasons:
1. It makes me question my reality. Am I making these things up or are people actually feeling like that. 
2. People tell me I am sociopathic/autistic/schizoid etc. I do not agree. However, in moments like that I feel as if they actually have a point.
3. I become massively creative and that makes me feel like I am not truly alive 99% of the time. I want to know how to reach this sensitive state when I want to.
4. My lack of awareness becomes apparent and shockingly scary.

Is this a symptom?
Could meditation make you numb?

Does anyone else feel like that? Is this something normal for most people but we just don’t know about it as it is not easy to express / it’s intimate.",1.8517910447761168,4.565143870646769,3.807291542288561,82.0863402985075,85.41791044776119,6.997094527363182,25.452935323383088,8.109356740369918,2.0189397412935324,822,35,156,19,25,277,124,201,0.099,0.816,0.085,-0.6857,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,1,0,5,7,0,0,6,0,16,3,0,6,0,36,32,19,0,8,9,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,15,7,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,8,19,5,21,28,4,18,0,0,3,0,6,6,0,6,15,100,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.232061519456832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313872741522511,0.12182868772751028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626348377287457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493321149045457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405154648755892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932698678411526,0.13374823852102946,0.0,0.0,0.1326066569503846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630852999870275,0.0,0.0,0.3006009779477805,0.339773160454638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212115168950855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509643031908717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130690363188501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904464536074365,0.0,0.10499224583585616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31747082803979604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483585660922035,0.0,0.0,0.11649827248846152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904299856577846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350498217768695,0.32972545093270633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124003958517642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331969463864501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225059503780628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474914003914954,0.0,0.0,0.13432490599494398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153622115533742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358423563786153,0.0,0.0,0.10392519431854516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899290558982988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933244919910497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810623001429856,0.1402624280540765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274933284932466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313739798120124
mentalhealth,catandmeowse,2018/02/04,"28 F I’ve never at any point in my life had plans for my future. Nothing sounds like it’s worth working towards. Either I talk myself out of a goal or completely forget about it within a few days. People say just keep throwing stuff at the wall until something sticks but I can’t figure out why at this age not one thing has felt like sticking with. I am not able to stay on target for any goal. I’m also not able to stay consistent with anything. I’ve been on 20 mg Prozac for about 6 years now. I have no strong personal relationships and no real vision for my future. Nothing in life seems achievable or worth achieving and I don’t know where to start to find some hope for my future. I’ve seen therapists before but it doesn’t do anything for me long term. Eventually I just revert to my old habits, ",2.826888694127959,4.672343349693254,3.7912050832602975,88.61872699386505,75.62576687116564,6.129535495179668,22.07230499561788,6.868970318607317,0.5487409290096408,638,17,129,6,14,205,108,163,0.07,0.8220000000000001,0.108,0.7983,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,7,7,4,0,0,3,0,9,3,0,0,1,27,17,8,0,1,10,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,6,6,0,1,5,0,2,1,9,0,0,1,4,4,13,4,28,13,4,30,0,0,1,0,4,14,0,5,15,80,19,5,0.3084837247411472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334716161169768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097795111816453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538558209451641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312484644273982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171965812131098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994732411181148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809637622979727,0.0,0.14097426787976322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319697191114684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709725426045286,0.0,0.0,0.08476729378568541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178911777322512,0.15070956579371286,0.0,0.0,0.13649919448960782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189608329693838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959984537411953,0.0,0.16185088828392866,0.0,0.104518277753074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693188650611056,0.13467804483601073,0.0,0.0,0.14580841531599875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556100721878834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559803678040474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265931977212495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041599858295226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118742921228467,0.0,0.0,0.10917318406440077,0.32880260550844065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657003037204802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397376639556215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908669040273956,0.10247143969536662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917929000244408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228991281749233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932670234854833
mentalhealth,patcharawalai,2018/02/04,"Riddle me this (22F) Why am I such a bitch to my boyfriend when he's sick. I'm mopey, distant and just miserable when he's ill. 

Background: 
1.) My bf has poor immunity (obviously not his fault) and gets a cold about once a month, this week has been the worst in a while, thought it was the flu considering the massive outbreak recently but he tested negative.

2.) I've been having trouble with social anxiety all my life but it's gotten a bit out of control the last few months. Makes me feel worthless, weak, the whole shpeil, although I don't think it's the reason for my behaviour.

3.) I want to be the perfect girlfriend that's sweet and supportive emotionally, I should say he's not the complaining big baby that apparently men turn into when they don't feel well. He basically doesn't require anything extra of me except for running out for medicine, food, or a bit of cooking, nothing I mind doing, it being easier anxiety wise knowing he needs these things. (Normally I won't go out more than absolutely necessary because I think anyone who sees me instantly hates me, irrational I know but hey social anxiety)

I guess my anxiety does have a role in this because I rely on him for emotional support and reassurance and I don't feel like I can do that while he's sick. Instead I feel like the one that's supposed to be picking up his mood. The harder I try the more frustrated I get and the worse I feel for being upset at him for something he can't control, enter endless destructive negative thought cycle. I know I should just stop whining and get over it but I can't drag myself out of this angry disgusting selfish person that I am when I'm not the center of his attention. I hate myself for not being strong enough to be what I should be when he's not 100%, he's always there for me no matter what even with all the crazy stuff I lay on him and he never gets upset or annoyed. I feel disgusting, like a self centered spoiled child, which I probably am, just wondering what you all think.

TL/DR: Feel like a disgusting spoiled child for not being there emotionally for my boyfriend when he's sick.

Sorry for the length and formatting!",4.290556220095695,5.889610576555025,5.284757775119619,80.43924192583735,71.22488038277513,8.574282296650717,29.80891148325359,9.103633062298675,2.590102631578948,1703,70,321,35,32,559,212,418,0.29100000000000004,0.637,0.07200000000000001,-0.9987,1,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,1,5,16,33,9,3,24,0,31,10,0,5,6,71,65,24,0,6,16,0,7,4,2,4,8,1,0,5,22,16,2,4,18,1,1,3,17,20,1,1,6,11,47,12,37,47,12,33,0,3,1,0,35,15,1,4,19,215,69,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768111362457862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856736446664009,0.0,0.0,0.06527789846002945,0.0,0.07682546068972543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382001656202773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038449327102351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094172746516327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816979823650758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150446562567193,0.0,0.09646349557122497,0.0,0.061661902991519385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304313286447324,0.20008435199664312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128885428230445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951022517799671,0.0,0.053057351801657784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028440695156564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18434286931240687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392090767727512,0.07609901370104571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594132861394182,0.18243949308456525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062317012543687725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426469828969784,0.0,0.14903450558034886,0.0,0.0,0.06922357701162668,0.0720032399720357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914707578369546,0.08957926388075957,0.0,0.0,0.0994229401048269,0.06326161684203488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151637256766339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065542751901667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598729951325524,0.09217949980664394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742418173772537,0.0,0.0,0.07439402712721889,0.0,0.09739247738354807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033290649357126,0.0,0.07187134486856081,0.0,0.10450634017777592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780512461120189,0.0,0.0,0.10687227006909264,0.0,0.2118825009656192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062022730326412284,0.1794595994536527,0.0,0.14823122566194322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338377339020382,0.1015464065110684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506481047359919,0.0,0.07488594316017495,0.0,0.08393981490003444,0.0,0.08424083429007817,0.10423057628842107,0.0,0.0,0.10124248041513713,0.0,0.0,0.09513950697073158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MelanyTheMelon,2018/02/04,"[seeking advice] I feel like I'm falling behind at my age. My family has a medical record of mental illness and — about two years ago — my family sent me to a psychologist to treat my ""self-destructive phase"".

I feel like I'm starting to go back to it, and that — even though I've just reached my 19 years of age — I'm failing at life.

I like writing, but I feel like I should be better at it for my age.

I like drawing, but I feel like I've wasted my opportunity to improve it, and that it's too late for me to take art classes.

I like cooking, but I get angry whenever I mess up, and I feel like crap for the rest of the day afterwards.

I like reading, but seeing how other people have worse problems than mine in those stories makes me feel like I'm weak — that I should be better at what I do and complain less whenever I fail myself.

I try to give it my best studying for college, but I panic whenever I realize I'll have more B's than A's at the end of the semester. I have a firm belief that — if I'm sh*t at everything else — I shouldn't be failing at the one thing that will help me get a career.

I feel like I'm falling behind at my age, and that I'll never get to make a future for myself. I fear I'll be a pest to my family if I don't stop this now.

Any advice as to how to lessen these thoughts? I feel like I'm going back to my period of self-destruction, and I really don't want to go back to it.",7.040572509457758,3.8356676196721335,8.261639344262296,77.61825977301388,66.24590163934427,11.614123581336695,33.95334174022698,9.661875296680813,2.806752837326607,1084,32,250,17,13,380,135,305,0.168,0.6409999999999999,0.191,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,7,11,27,1,2,12,0,15,6,1,4,1,38,45,18,0,7,8,0,8,12,0,4,4,0,0,0,18,7,1,1,11,3,0,6,4,10,0,2,2,9,43,17,40,35,4,36,1,3,1,0,5,10,1,2,32,159,61,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445544052634706,0.0745914612829455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722301653902899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941121268662355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830734895605405,0.1488428115615027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426801587657373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029423107258613,0.0,0.07452948858436048,0.0,0.0,0.05557846599132141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756261237846858,0.0,0.2379796193469923,0.094689052244161,0.3403790295249093,0.4809185061693795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189039754669682,0.08072171120084849,0.14346846657182705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640212891952628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492176486643024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059435692250635976,0.4933211595789859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233788755486336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847695031268808,0.08480063784769781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489954785536099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057020355351254874,0.0,0.0,0.09872866907434127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058337109049609766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051755533241288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417002292192577,0.0,0.05390688401200544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705446484868041,0.0,0.17556787025585405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059559857701510975,0.0,0.0,0.07035087010230158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632682608587701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590369484071068,0.0,0.08267424734077987,0.06680351833641325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713046018468757,0.0,0.08219963762271187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04963222910338014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575323815956723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837614215502077
mentalhealth,spanlass,2018/02/05,"How to get out of the suicidal ideation/self loathing circle Hi, new on here so apologies if I say things wrong.
I have a deep desire to die. It's not a morbid thing, it's just a belief that it's the right thing to do. I believe in reincarnation, you keep returning to this world to learn new things until you've learnt everything then become a guardian angel to support another person through their lives. 
This particular life is completely cocked up, no way to turn it around in my view. The trouble is I don't have the guts to end it and start again. I've tried enough times but they were pathetic attempts so I can't even get that right. So I just spend my life wishing for the end and beating myself up for not succeeding. 
How do you get out of that vicious circle?
Any useful advice appreciated, thanks.",4.844631217838766,5.9305426226415126,5.112681532304175,84.15231560891941,69.31446540880502,8.297541452258432,28.29102344196684,8.575989854853784,1.9003534591194968,643,22,129,10,11,203,101,159,0.168,0.726,0.106,-0.8665,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,2,2,3,11,6,1,0,9,0,9,4,2,3,0,19,19,11,2,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,14,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,1,2,13,3,22,18,1,23,2,0,1,1,8,12,1,1,10,86,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451066514094176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098103519042828,0.155708942071589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321911728143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639999939579403,0.0,0.16730192585723003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569316942102765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411336309688545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630432775010654,0.15343403206879122,0.0,0.09807890896964036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345686279940094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327460116832311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319883202988146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20977145539453876,0.0,0.0,0.1311229525497666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868329267043879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965926279795054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536261873392569,0.0,0.11808841594275467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491166279675989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510484155254284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242837162779997,0.16850927003765054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671335569510168,0.0,0.0,0.39461135168464573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865880653768112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081770167464843,0.16151886784556346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282511679451623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786765235271665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076081068416876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235491518380402,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrsmoothbunzzz,2018/02/05,"9 year old daughter, signs of ptsd? Asking for a friend.

Recently, her daughter went through something that I’m pretty sure has been pretty traumatic for her.

Last week, her daughter discovered her step-mother dead on the floor of her shower after suffering from a deadly seizure. She was home alone with her and her two baby siblings when it all happened. Even though she’s 9, she called for help and even tried performing cpr but it was much too late for that.

When it was all said and done, her mood had changed a little. She was a bit quiet on the car back home, wasn’t too talkative or active like she usually is. She didn’t show signs of anything apart from that, which we believe she was only putting on a strong character.

The week has gone by and she’s a little back to normal. Continues to go to school, talk with her friends, doing regular 9 year old stuff. There’s been a few moments where we believe she starts to look back at that day. When she’s alone or before she goes to bed she’ll think about that dark moment, stresses over it a little and even claims to get a bit sad. Whenever her mom or someone is in the bathroom or shower for long periods of time, she’ll start to worry and get a bit anxious, wanting to check on the person. It’s became a habit of some sorts.

Is this a sign of some case of PTSD? Maybe she’s a bit traumatized by the event?",4.700036630036628,5.401645761904758,4.848076923076924,87.31775641025641,69.40293040293041,7.9714285714285715,27.25457875457875,7.984000788550335,1.4789985347985348,1075,33,223,13,18,336,149,273,0.105,0.805,0.08900000000000001,-0.6641,2,2,1,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,0,2,15,9,0,1,19,0,19,0,0,0,3,27,33,15,2,2,5,4,0,1,2,2,0,2,5,1,13,10,0,0,1,1,1,5,2,3,0,1,14,3,26,5,36,17,10,45,0,2,1,0,38,13,0,7,28,143,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992655739544872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086770899946428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916329036473466,0.0,0.08993274969529799,0.0,0.0,0.22191246617750265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185796378989513,0.21676586708915035,0.0,0.0,0.4200960320353352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822957491017156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176541373436064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062040169422434475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844461600896827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906148985168108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864567309561966,0.0,0.10051964589479316,0.0,0.05467190836149772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850681464211134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644799257432208,0.0,0.19299017431413576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841473730194608,0.10851626467390256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046997800063241175,0.2892489517279205,0.0,0.08513277598048366,0.08078263578235652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664447154731877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112666693473776,0.0,0.0,0.07071707478527851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425424979583086,0.0,0.0,0.20188859672086956,0.0,0.0,0.07316340641932201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839969485782317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573721740812086,0.0,0.0,0.22490214235456102,0.09670621113885168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498455906877863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915069431893207,0.0,0.0,0.0973581672283582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150880198235043,0.0740584188061339,0.0,0.0,0.13617979588499834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019522586841853,0.0,0.11012443624108853,0.0,0.0,0.09066608695136237,0.0,0.0,0.07732082904572553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164020908669265,0.09451468289461384,0.0,0.05609420505713023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531256711321362,0.0,0.09397210054950947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594921955029528,0.0,0.05674045480840961,0.0,0.15432950507301754,0.0,0.0,0.08917711014993826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769439628794746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389755018756432
mentalhealth,C18-H21-NO3,2018/02/05,Starting a non-profit to spread awareness about mental health. Need some advice. Do you think something like this could be successful? I feel like mental health is a sector of health that is often looked over.,4.7082432432432455,7.857187864864866,3.32560810810811,87.69489864864866,75.75675675675676,4.781081081081081,20.06081081081081,5.985473137389443,0.21051891891891872,169,4,27,1,4,48,31,37,0.0,0.773,0.227,0.8316,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,4,8,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,3,17,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686660984191605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771923783356949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221405317770937,0.15854623858807976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7077009680612701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168467582034533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636460286399012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4473047965723216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645576625151048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708519123679624,0.0,0.0,0.15708260403004773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220324672055018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Radian_333_hex,2018/02/05,"Sometimes i see or feel a dark shadow behind me Last spring i was in a very bad car accident and got a concussion, broke my orbital socket, nose, cut my face, broke my wrist, and my intestines were lacerated by the seatbelt. Was in the ICU for a few days from the intestine surgery.

Have pretty much fully recovered physically. However, when i am by myself i sometimes see a dark shadow or feel ""something"" behind me. It almost feels like some kind of ""ghost"", which i have never been a big believer in, hence why im asking in the mental health subreddit rather than a supernatural one. But the presence has a dark and scary feeling to it, like it is some kind of evil spirit. But i dont feel really scared by it. Is this a common thing with people who were in accidents? Is there a name for this phenomenon?

I am from the USA.",4.1768426501035165,5.586378521739133,5.400263975155281,80.24192805383024,71.2360248447205,8.59648033126294,26.46014492753623,9.075114841892004,2.0836082815734978,646,21,125,13,12,215,101,161,0.152,0.767,0.081,-0.9318,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,3,10,2,1,16,0,14,6,5,0,1,19,23,8,1,1,5,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,6,8,14,4,19,17,4,13,1,2,2,0,3,6,0,5,8,88,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356661824442206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270570792003155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638641540566335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403409936257534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534413796120017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143935272996848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129611943861634,0.2333876807714239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064207480140952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362830457369754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644084144116762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401977699954798,0.0,0.1331481358195706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960442338652478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461353798051667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007751351657354,0.0,0.1259818847706564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106869319560333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324299156167475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618078759893073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464311500414583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635370366110057,0.0,0.2603299450637596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575111190912625,0.3231051503793693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085192898011011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477689327566456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473936323231892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,etodor,2018/02/05,"Survey: Investigating shame & self-esteem in BFRBs Hi everyone, I’m a Psychology student at the University of Glasgow. I'm currently collecting data for my final year project, investigating different types of shame and self-esteem in Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania. The study involves answering five questionnaires. The experiment should take no longer than 15 minutes. Participants have the right to refuse participation, and if they consent have the right to withdraw at any stage they wish. This study is anonymous, meaning I will not be collecting or retaining any information about your identity & the records of this study will be kept strictly confidential. If anyone wants more information about the study, please feel free to contact me directly. Thanks for your help! Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeonONosf705sCKfsqWPXuZAKQ1-bib1k_jA_6nk4Qyooy6IA/viewform#responses",13.25417322834646,17.241190992125983,10.268511811023624,44.062610236220465,52.464566929133866,12.324094488188974,40.25905511811024,11.792908689023552,6.061353385826773,764,35,88,23,10,225,90,127,0.077,0.8059999999999999,0.117,0.6696,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,2,0,2,4,0,2,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,19,17,6,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,6,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,7,3,15,11,1,10,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,3,3,50,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.432872920147582,0.0,0.2716830115858304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967463187576806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20870338885110826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19087622752974825,0.0,0.19540052652532586,0.0,0.0,0.10100306377473657,0.0,0.0,0.2188238616556463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338928037309756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21759376691514545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21927303195495831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411825114657407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167799131690983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019228876360327,0.0,0.0,0.1839092663746564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782176377688235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22971051554396354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128636860067696
mentalhealth,AdministrativeReply,2018/02/05,"Intense project at work left me burnout/depressed. I work in the advertising world at this company that does visual effects for commercials. 


This was a huge project that seemed exciting until I found out the what timeline we were working with. 


My pushover of a manager let the client bully her into a 12 hour (day and a half) turn around for a project that was easily a weeks worth of work. 11 unique commercials with 3 versions each (33 commercials in total.... in 12 hours). 


Luckily the work day for the project fell on a Friday so I had the opportunity to work overtime over the weekend to complete it. 


Worked sun up to sun down, sleeping for only a couple hours here and there. By the end of it I pulled 42 hours of overtime in 3 days.


Even still the work felt rushed and I wasn’t completely happy with the results; but it was passable. 


Client is scheduled to come in and see the finals on Monday morning. 2 hours of sleep to keep me sane. Queue panic attack and stress vomiting morning of.


I felt that the whole project was dumped on my back with little care from my managers, especially after my pleas for more time. I felt and still feel resentful towards the management involved. 


This was a few weeks ago. Ever since the project I’ve felt burnt out and been left with an overwhelming urge to quit. 


I know this is probably just a mental state that I’m in but I don’t know how to get out of this slump. I feel miserable and unhappy. Any advice would help. Thanks!


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mentalhealth,AmberNomad,2018/02/05,"Is this psychological or neurological? I was wondering if there are any professionals on here who can clarify something for me. Is there ever a form of psychosis where the person doesn't hear voices, but instead hears words and phrases they have remembered from every day life? Or could there be a neurological reason for this kind of condition? To be clear, there are zero delusions, hallucinations or false beliefs involved. Just semantic memories replaying in a loop.",8.047510548523203,10.532602379746834,8.215886075949367,59.610073839662455,63.17721518987342,11.342616033755275,37.21729957805907,11.20814326018867,5.1498843881856535,384,19,54,12,6,125,65,79,0.0,0.949,0.051,0.6046,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,1,2,15,14,6,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,8,10,1,5,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,5,2,46,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780956576209365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20909958897695494,0.0,0.0,0.16889878513709378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23689646317807886,0.22065545022142166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5903430231603183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727203960781757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498218615079376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286741429328864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692687708891397,0.0,0.0,0.2966727780410266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20161738889460434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840108889550241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FadeyPerry,2018/02/05,Should socially or culturally diverse clients mistrust the current mental health system? Reaching out for a bit of help for one of my classes related to Ethics and Cultural Diversity.,9.933999999999996,12.017955733333334,9.533333333333337,53.430000000000035,58.33333333333334,12.666666666666668,51.66666666666666,12.161744961471696,7.651666666666667,152,11,18,5,2,49,28,30,0.0,0.857,0.14300000000000002,0.5423,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,13,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4748975375708481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4623751184373086,0.0,0.0,0.2915653148147904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383686421807978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29476117617050185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434185702373414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jadealexk,2018/02/05,"Pristiq and Hair Loss Have any of you been on the antidepressant Pristiq? If so, have you experienced hair loss with it? I have been on it for 6 months, and I noticed some extra shedding when I started it but I didn’t realize quite how much I was losing until I noticed bald spots on my head and how brittle and thin my hair was. Has anyone else experienced this?",3.344583333333333,5.171328736111113,4.495555555555558,84.20500000000001,74.1388888888889,7.022222222222222,27.277777777777786,7.793537801064563,1.5991777777777774,287,11,57,4,6,94,47,72,0.106,0.894,0.0,-0.7383,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,4,4,3,0,0,1,0,9,5,5,2,0,11,10,11,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,6,10,0,7,5,3,8,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,2,4,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886186157660116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394098709562926,0.28419458282580856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317039779300028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28465787487269706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103019758244507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22139115845817384,0.0,0.20389616680385372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6315668103852886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950132337597664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632131604277456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayfjordane,2018/02/05,"Question about lying to my (prospective) therapist A few weeks ago, I had an appointment with a therapist through my university. Because she believed my issues could be attributed to or worsened by the fact that I smoke weed (occasionally) she recomended that I should contact another government agency instead of seeking therapy/counseling with my university`s provider. 

We spoke on the phone a few weeks later, and we agreed that if I quit smoking I could seek treatment at my university`s provider after all, and that I should meet with her again in a month so that there would be a month between my meeting with her and me quitting. However, (and I know this might sound like a stupid decision) I decided that my last time smoking weed should be with a friend of mine. Because of this, there will be three weeks instead of a full month between me quitting and my appointment. Is that important enough that I should try to reschedule my appointment? I was only able to seek treatment at my universities mental health provider because I was quitting without assistance, so I`m not sure if I would still have the opportunity to do so if I tell her I have smoked weed (even if only once) since our conversation ",9.648598484848483,9.233430467592594,8.566329966329969,68.6207575757576,59.13888888888889,12.113804713804715,42.78451178451178,11.389717465364855,5.018431481481481,975,50,162,23,11,302,117,216,0.057,0.883,0.06,-0.1345,1,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,5,11,5,1,0,12,0,21,1,0,1,3,36,23,13,0,12,7,0,0,1,1,8,1,2,0,0,10,12,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,35,4,25,5,5,18,0,0,0,0,17,5,0,7,14,130,45,1,0.12484516247873542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106677038113374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130911038309199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22831335682840015,0.0,0.0,0.1406577460081198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993574069918832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899842605608047,0.0,0.08245905237443504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645506283925537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270456969190372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030591383629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861163631524972,0.10176547028203804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099304021437101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581455988297166,0.13244098827250708,0.0,0.0,0.2989506527946002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329560235345281,0.0,0.189900743607118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985515413385932,0.5311527911637608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327320851672146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970150802458888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766508815439927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912017477969736,0.0,0.0,0.2899097121557385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279821821955226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476167027136625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004297763889857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203462815194886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773728428843844,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SunnyIsland_Explorer,2018/02/05,"Girlfriend (21) I want to help (multiple personality, voices, memory) I've been with her for a little over 4 years and after about 2 years of being together I started to notice little quirks about her personality and memory that have left me with questions. Searching online has only led to more questions but after 2 more years of experience and research I think I've got it togeather. I think she has  a combination of a few things. Multiple personalities (Dissasosiative Identity Disorder),  light schizophrenia, as well as a hefty amount of memory loss.

So let me start off my saying I love her very much and I want her, the real her to be as happy as she can be and enjoy life. Anything that puts that in danger I will not consider as an option. Now let's get into a few notable situations along our 4 years. Keep in mind these are the most significant occurrences and there are many more similar ones that are smaller. So around year 2 after I'd gotten the grasp of her personality and had started to notice these things, I had picked her up from a day at college. On the car ride home she asked me if I had voices in my head. And I said sometimes but i think everyone has a little voice in their head. Heasetently I asked if she had voices. She said yes. And then I asked what do they sound like. I got the description of an older woman raspy and angry. This coincides with all the small times where she has described that her inner voice puts her down and tells her that she's not good enough and on occasion that I am doing things on purpose to piss her off. After describing it she didn't want to talk about it anymore. At this point I started to do my research and found that voices are associated with Schizophrenia & Dissasosiative Identity Disorder as well as memory loss.

Now let's get into memory. She has always had a noticibly hard time remembering anything past a year ago in her memories. That means that when I bring up something from a year or more ago In our relationship it's hard for her to remember and sometimes she can't at all. Like it never happened. This makes her sad. And myself as well. Sometimes I describe something and she says ""yes I remember"" but I can tell she is just saying that to stop me from feeling sad. Or she fabricates a memory based off of my description. She's also said a few times that she knows something traumatic happened to her as a child but she can't remember   Memory loss also happens to be associated with Dissociative identity disorder as well as Schitzophrenia.

Lastly is multiple personalities. Now this one isn't an easy one but I'm doing my best to figure it out. So she usually has 2 ""personalities"" I got figure out over the last 4 years.  (1)  I'd consider her normal self. She is happy and kind. Doesn't like confrontation she cares about our relationship, about my feelings and our future. (2) I consider this one her sheltered personality.  More often than not when she us put in a situation of great stress and negative emotion she ""switches"" to an I don't give a fuck about you personality. She doesn't care what she says to me. If it hurts or is insensitive. Doesn't care about our future. And refuses to talk or discuss issues civilly. She will however not leave the situation. Becomes unresponsive to affection an doesn't like being touched. This personality often comes out when we have a big fight or a problem arises at school.

In this past year I have noted 2 other odd occurrences of switching and a new personality. (3) her high sex drive personality. This one has come out only a handful of times. Where she will become extremely horny and want to try new things. Will indulge my fantasies as much as she can and wants everything and anything sexual. As opposed to personality 1 where she doesn't like anything too crazy and is quite vanilla. If asked about the times she said she wanted to do something while in personality 3 she can't remember or she strongly doesn't want to talk about that stuff because it doesn't Interest her. I have heard about personalities being created by situations. And I think that maybe our differing sex drives (mine high and hers low) has caused this personality to be formed. As we have had many stressful talks and arguments on the subject and  has been an issue before.

Onto the last one (4) this one I have only experienced. Once in 4 years. And scares me the most. I'd describe this one as a caregiver or lover personality. She is very caring and kindhearted and loving. It scares me the most because it could possibly also be a contender for her real self. And the fact I've only encountered it once makes me sad. During this last year we had a huge fight our biggest one in our relationship, while In the car parked. I can't remember what about (probably something stupid) but it ended up turning into a bad spat about weather or not we should even be together. About 10 minutes in she switched from personality 1 to 2 becoming angry, cold and closed off. After arguing for another 30 minutes with personality 2 I had given up. She couldn't care about my feelings our our relationship. She said horrible things to me. And I broke. I started crying asking how she couldn't care about us and broke. Hard. I cried for about 5 minutes. Still trying to have the conversation and then had a panic attack. (Happens to me sometimes) This is when personality 4 came in. As soon as I started she did a complete flip from cold and withdrawn to caring and loving. Saying my name And asking what's wrong. Over and over while she reached over to hug me. Then she shared asking what she did. My name and then what she did wrong while cuddling me and rubbing my back. Over and over. After I calmed down we talked. Finished the conversation in 5 minutes. She was very open to my feelings and loving and caring. A complete 180 from personality 2 and more so than personality 1. She was sad that she had hurt me but couldnt remember how she hurt me.

This one scares me the most because of how many times she said my name. And how she seemed to know that she had hurt me. As if this was the real her and knows that she loses control and hurts others. There isn't a lot of Information on DID and a lot of examples I know are from movies (and those are pretty scary to think about) my research has turned up that it is possible for the real person to be locked inside of themselves watching their life like a movie. Which is why 4 makes me afraid and sad, I've only experienced it once.

I want to help her and let her regain control of her life. Either from managing negative thoughts to improving her memory. And figuring out if she's got DID and how to help that. She will do anything I suggest if I bring up my concerns meaning if I suggest going to therapy or a doctor/phycologost she will. BUT I want to be very careful and sure of things before I make a decision to suggest to her. I want her in control of her life not to have that taken away by some doctor or psychologist who thinks she needs to be in care or be monitored and tested the rest of her life. Or put on medication to dull her senses. ( yes I've read some stories of that kind of shit happening to people )

Any advice or experience would be great to hear. Remember her in control is the most important to me. Also if there are any sites or people I can call and talk to I'd be happy for that information.

TL;DR - I think my Gf suffers from Schizophrenia and Dissociative identity disorder. Any information or experiences/advice you can offer would be great. People I can talk to on making a decision about the best way to help her regain control of her voices an memories. Remember HER BEING IN CONTROL is the most important thing to me. Thank you for reading and commenting! ",4.3041520952119825,6.282000249153692,5.436522994454921,77.82673813906904,71.89776574136765,8.59286805396241,27.64330757566432,9.207825528397112,2.458931236535976,6156,228,1131,137,121,2036,454,1477,0.141,0.725,0.134,-0.9619,1,0,5,0,2,0,148.0,17,3,3,14,57,84,10,7,63,3,119,23,6,20,5,237,217,137,0,29,40,0,10,6,3,9,7,21,1,26,72,87,0,10,40,3,0,16,27,40,4,10,39,37,193,44,201,144,30,162,0,19,1,10,205,79,3,40,72,835,265,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04952638972737622,0.04492701208315216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106161493558868,0.021085965927719517,0.027457254469068583,0.0,0.051698795906372115,0.026572530184424282,0.0,0.0,0.02513172953287977,0.0,0.0,0.10426852621564052,0.022559102149107464,0.16583466043999298,0.028829351971662955,0.02380895649147548,0.01948587170526371,0.021158901182724912,0.04634340728014517,0.08396232223495248,0.04312710704196733,0.0,0.05318819695099434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025876269062295374,0.02898366084523101,0.2583711274197606,0.026032463926920976,0.0,0.04365851889950724,0.05313967700129685,0.0,0.17053432856231762,0.020232941328707368,0.0,0.05567238831706118,0.01634302213069102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026476232582477752,0.11617315935645647,0.051875725425579285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028505516882108693,0.022444842724553816,0.02618430511583188,0.0,0.01673766923323477,0.0,0.0,0.024214668589540352,0.02277509864157452,0.04957724755216085,0.0,0.0,0.05125322828275787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02778539355764416,0.0,0.023427594927822433,0.02647953435204152,0.024309654430395355,0.014402027212323613,0.02125505420240681,0.08107091143373205,0.08381651589523313,0.0,0.0,0.11204600281719908,0.08092875648856902,0.06810239871022629,0.0,0.05201490608060836,0.0,0.02856145200919275,0.0,0.06794287399387439,0.053548884246779054,0.02541935909576432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564176339496187,0.0,0.0,0.0528994021183391,0.0,0.022524484326142336,0.0,0.05277806427060648,0.055707595036670055,0.08262606624246961,0.0,0.0268327449734882,0.02753336301135476,0.10365265826279267,0.08949643893507425,0.07428278423587861,0.0761958270484537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02835039806355996,0.0,0.04308848153203367,0.09148593896345823,0.0,0.08457746947114501,0.07707620815644776,0.02545871089667941,0.05520814216824108,0.0,0.02552866256914942,0.0,0.0,0.0255874577948175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0372574971665249,0.018790229930485836,0.019544748960130424,0.0489495111927153,0.0,0.0,0.024829063245077408,0.0,0.0865536084514917,0.0,0.08096287358658924,0.17171899771034338,0.0963658853126324,0.0,0.029732519192988437,0.0,0.0,0.04838221753717938,0.05270533566622642,0.4867944115997089,0.0,0.0,0.023955690309928,0.0571369466015022,0.0,0.025781181012894082,0.027322174156299492,0.02424817210379726,0.0,0.10189989895456432,0.05677604200024355,0.026953558993253468,0.05069625359004936,0.11537564852666946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882815717998316,0.2583604610208601,0.0,0.14463209996787948,0.10076197151307496,0.07611309353081472,0.025646717222554915,0.0,0.023069739625950155,0.052872940767829474,0.0,0.026012448554717228,0.0,0.11393859284857864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754473503057176,0.10025265240929067,0.0,0.1076200841464843,0.0,0.02023757022810079,0.02118643566424552,0.05805667624153275,0.0,0.02900969025992319,0.0,0.0,0.0238838462135703,0.0,0.0,0.14257846527744994,0.044298772288622335,0.02333083586909088,0.028979949715302,0.0,0.11784929208264446,0.11366363397066567,0.0,0.020118137008420054,0.0886601867648052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0344101165319354,0.0551280476776599,0.0,0.0,0.06096485304870964,0.0,0.02790982771258801,0.0836368037990397,0.1494693707757647,0.02011471986284383,0.0,0.0,0.09113937709570573,0.0,0.02286655376939944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03600342096676545,0.05541339921669729,0.0,0.17950841090979566
mentalhealth,NickHainesworld81,2018/02/05,"Depression & disasters Back in 2016 I completed my biography. It has quite a bit to do with my battles with depression. It was very therapeutic and I grab onto this accomplishment when I am down. I suppose my story is a tale of just what a depressed mind is thinking during everyday life. I wanted to keep creating and sharing with people, so I have started doing book vlogs on a YouTube channel. Check out this emotional video. https://youtu.be/yCdPDDCeMk4",6.244660714285715,9.025114287500003,6.7146428571428585,67.27750000000003,68.625,10.071428571428571,35.17857142857143,10.290406445055957,4.487857142857143,373,19,56,11,7,121,62,80,0.197,0.7240000000000001,0.079,-0.9032,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,1,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,0,11,12,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,9,1,11,11,1,9,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,43,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25638992528580945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819548708436801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25834010331056784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481034262078703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6114306011292079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26617837380173986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103287806866046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713969211859134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389301668765721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405035554265182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516865254773356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748885899871285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162378855510605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524561260610188,0.13957127741554293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manzholmgren,2018/02/05,"feeling suprisingly bad Today and probably many days forward im feeling really sick, its like a cold but im just feeling down.. being diagnosed with depression shit isnt helping. I just feel like sitting at my pc all day. Anyone help me feel a bit better these coming days? what shall i do? I just feel like dying kms. ty",0.4231601731601735,2.739228920634922,2.5642712842712854,86.87896103896107,101.06349206349206,5.465512265512266,21.6002886002886,6.980632752743323,1.289425396825397,254,10,46,5,11,85,48,63,0.204,0.498,0.298,0.696,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,1,14,11,2,1,0,4,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,7,5,4,3,9,2,9,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,8,23,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835090950429365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413254861757262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969719842487386,0.18478867850555936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580297331844694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32747714944001344,0.0,0.14578386054229034,0.17179589162806708,0.1756657243064392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5134993076377284,0.2418395362495688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269035527043333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36566087060444585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480764597831101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160362749499894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824914967309099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084326401490661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374351847807265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043920681362195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChaoticContradiction,2018/02/05,"I cut again but it wasn't enough I haven't needed to cut myself for over a year now but there it was again. That feeling that discomfort that you KNOW won't go away until you cut and bleed or you die. But ofc dying isnt a remotely healthy option so i thought I'd try cutting again.

I tried 2 small cuts on top of my veins on my wrist. But at this point, what little blood came out, i knew it wasn't enough. Like a cigarette addict trying to smoke again, 1 smoke isnt enough - i need packs of the stuff. I needed to drench myself in my own blood again. I needed it but i knew that if i started again i wouldnt stop. So i just... stopped. The feeling didnt go away, not straight away. But i endured until it was no more. And now there is no evidence of my struggle... except those two small red lines. I hide them under a band-aid and im not sure im disappointed that i tried to cut again or disappointed that i didnt go all the way.",1.3848029411764706,2.822341545000004,2.8042352941176496,95.91182352941179,78.55,5.905882352941178,19.764705882352946,6.522977012572876,-0.13474117647058834,719,16,174,6,17,234,104,200,0.21600000000000005,0.711,0.073,-0.9795,0,0,3,0,0,1,25.0,0,3,1,1,14,12,6,2,7,0,12,6,4,0,2,34,27,16,2,6,13,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,15,5,0,2,6,0,0,4,13,10,0,1,10,3,26,2,21,15,6,36,0,2,1,0,4,16,0,4,16,118,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982726022630124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36152621850418143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670044173692548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662366444682417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975946117619937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970879126818827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186870490829733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770953855324611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049082622464799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266356597165999,0.1285547461402178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3804260677573077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125143091293347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907862879960756,0.0,0.0,0.21446976538763707,0.0,0.1340899263533073,0.14683218929821135,0.0,0.0,0.12088779290570778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182770222916217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483327604756044,0.0,0.12529579925774825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181040638899247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825981460776705
mentalhealth,mrfresh6,2018/02/05,"I’m obsessed with the past I honestly have no clue why i’m like this, which is why i’m posting this here in hopes of getting a little bit of an explanation or maybe it is a symptom of a mental disorder. 

I am extremely obsessed with any thing from my past, and i take it to an extreme amount. I’m very addicted to the feeling of nostalgia and will do anything to trigger a nostalgic feeling. Through songs, scents, clothing, places, people, seasons. This is an issue that has progressively become worse and I almost feel as if it’s making me depressed. It’s almost like my mind is convinced that my life was better in the past.

Also my concept of time is extremely distorted and stuff that was 6 months ago feels very very much as if it was just yesterday.

I am obsessed with good and bad times, it doesn’t even matter, as long as it was in the past. Like I constantly have a longing to go back in time and I have no clue why. I have been like this since 2014 specifically. It started because it was summer and I thought summer 2013 was so fun i needed to make summer 2014 EXACTLY the same. And in 2015 i didn’t the same thing with summer 2014, etc.  

I’m extremely curious as to why I do this.",2.9782499999999987,4.714006991666672,4.331666666666667,85.38,74.91666666666666,7.466666666666668,27.416666666666664,8.238735603445708,1.8458166666666669,938,37,189,16,20,310,121,240,0.105,0.754,0.141,0.8419,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,6,15,0,3,14,0,24,3,0,3,1,33,42,18,0,4,4,0,4,4,0,1,3,1,0,0,21,12,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,9,6,17,10,27,32,6,29,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,6,24,126,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697241321902095,0.0,0.0,0.09511463042234787,0.0,0.21489012059121126,0.0,0.0,0.08580745957206147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296741444863028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882984367384862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250677709317215,0.08959069267339789,0.06540884650575061,0.11850398944846803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489778567947406,0.11714338406683232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595275982429835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924169971037336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229746493794721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966742882964478,0.07087038062108894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701562779399106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605961774152298,0.0,0.060980841240784636,0.08999782230463667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657272370166412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119929158150232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578888796495784,0.2096846786742848,0.10754239811638244,0.0,0.1899135571462587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324664610976193,0.0,0.107796880570882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813277002132272,0.0,0.10834201869899804,0.0,0.08564552522493331,0.0,0.0788775596048286,0.07956130143180913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097184768526527,0.07438803948503002,0.0,0.11210525518134168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276336629335077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875934642453233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594721642196985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283238256007277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115253793645761,0.08067595332687905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425701865217016,0.0,0.0,0.08518390507699111,0.18770179689900088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656002474077931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38728483555215776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934746973420242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RainbowSmuggler,2018/02/05,"Bipolar Depressive Episode What do I do when a depressive episode is taking hold of me? Im crying constantly and cannot shake this feeling of absolute devastation and nothingness. Today I drove on the wrong side of the road for a while, hoping something would hit me. I know that isnt fair to other people but at the time I didnt feel anything at all. I can take muscle relaxants for my hypomania but it doesnt take away the desperate depression when it hits. Do I just knock myself out with those and hope it ends soon? This isnt living. 

I have no friends by the way. I dont speak to my family very much about these things. When I finally told my mother I had been raped, she told me if I had been raped then I must have done something to deserve it. I have people I know and see sometimes but no one who would ever think about me when I am not around. This is not my depression talking, this is fact. I dont know if I push people away or if i'm just a genuinely shitty waste of oxygen (ok that was the depression). No support network, I have been suffering for as long as I can remember. I dont want to suffer anymore. ",3.0512421154779226,4.494295087336244,4.417954876273655,86.0477086365842,74.10917030567686,8.05832120329937,25.82265890344493,8.680891452615391,1.7460420184376508,881,30,185,17,18,292,125,229,0.21600000000000005,0.6779999999999999,0.106,-0.9844,0,0,2,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,12,17,2,1,9,1,31,3,0,0,4,35,51,19,0,9,11,1,2,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,16,7,0,1,7,1,0,3,14,11,0,1,11,4,30,6,24,35,2,27,0,7,1,2,8,9,0,6,14,140,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869446596158236,0.0,0.0,0.09019205589319132,0.09756787957876163,0.0,0.0,0.20594697293377534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843944447189313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039124702921718,0.0,0.0,0.4719947077289413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121595915045488,0.3853536909316062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707370876904126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914012810985158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332180680093446,0.0,0.11083483668947232,0.0,0.0,0.12006223407467373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467724619802762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21771649437595506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838758769787765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070107206289965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677944579823984,0.0969931903309923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056914173539872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426828594174037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279500225430755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415625301920755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733758564594035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875198131733413,0.10839791687042068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437360087601836,0.0,0.0,0.24721830964838154,0.08809290900958551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281384986209709,0.07022771738769952,0.0,0.0,0.06390906257795721,0.0,0.10388866949547028,0.20945637404965325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043207424081896,0.06464534568872488,0.08699595189412795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557144170938476,0.1198311844613566,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pluto-vacation,2018/02/05,"Supporting loved ones with depression Hi, I'm looking for some advice on ways to be there for someone close to me who is depressed and currently dealing with withdrawal. I'm struggling with this situation in particular because the person dealing with this is a friend but also a person who I share an intimate/romantic relationship with.. but it's new (about a year) and we're kind of at the awkward point of a relationship where we are still figuring out how serious we are or want to be. We have pretty good communication for the most part and are pretty open with each other.  We've gone 2 weeks without hanging out, which is pretty unusual for us, and whenever I text him the conversation is always short - also unusual. When I confronted him about it, he reassured me that its not because he doesn't enjoy hanging out or that he doesn't want to see/talk to me, but that he's been withdrawn. At first he said it was stress and just wanting some alone time, but later in the conversation admitted that dealing with withdrawal isn't something he's used to talking about unless asked about it. I knew he struggled with depression in the past, I just don't know how to be there for him in a way that is actually helpful.  I asked if there's anything I can do and let him know he can ask me for anything. He seemed appreciative but said he doesn't want to put me in a difficult position. I let him know I want to be there for him because I care about him. I just feel like I want to try to lift his spirits or show him somehow that he can count on me when he's feeling like this. I don't want to make things worse by annoying him or being too pushy but I also don't want to leave him hanging if he needs something and is just afraid to ask. I'm looking for advice from anyone who may have experience with depression or other people who have loved ones dealing with that. How can I help? What's the best way to be supportive without being intrusive?",7.6761503759398515,6.4264442623376645,7.9438004101162,74.20036226930965,63.51948051948053,11.429938482570062,36.36705399863295,10.5429385540328,3.636454545454546,1551,62,303,32,19,510,168,385,0.113,0.6920000000000001,0.195,0.984,1,1,2,0,0,0,29.0,4,0,0,2,25,27,2,5,14,0,36,2,0,5,0,75,72,29,0,11,21,0,2,2,1,1,0,2,0,2,24,26,0,0,9,1,0,5,10,13,0,3,6,6,36,14,57,56,6,36,1,4,2,2,58,17,0,13,13,217,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.07404288382019504,0.0,0.0,0.14828800108528875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858343572664457,0.0,0.1820312096699136,0.06313393234568168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053053441599217696,0.0,0.1248770315279388,0.0,0.28373087493838905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875776665496542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962594740510519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735944056114119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128944504027764,0.2614035012923429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742201377819866,0.0,0.0,0.07672918229104274,0.10840997983486483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453908711872443,0.0,0.0,0.058620701338111925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364020309140653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171459123106807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790119539796885,0.12509645805088332,0.0,0.0,0.08034048388450321,0.0,0.15517429783974235,0.0,0.07413721351400025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743148634960288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695998326325676,0.0,0.0506470346567398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626022109955082,0.0,0.07328037848938382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028294897286272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216504118913955,0.07243110557982138,0.05260204990710071,0.13250194057784162,0.0,0.0,0.07172623424060835,0.0,0.0,0.2315759225978977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627515557838425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629223327083634,0.0,0.0,0.14434866687613848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060462411729465225,0.06907359073660183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528648197956078,0.0,0.0,0.06428849273481439,0.11682429390634233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059373300714045,0.0,0.08691435532553966,0.15864168190855302,0.0,0.0,0.17220370379660346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197061999346565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504078620608654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044243220444601564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151402540868056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126807187860067,0.0655314871741554,0.0,0.0,0.3580234995980313,0.18067771246424455,0.060862207665637005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462812467991077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732292852443333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886089944506411
mentalhealth,_Baboda_,2018/02/05,"Any sort of help or anything will be nice... For the last 3 years I've felt this emptiness, void type feeling in my stomach, and I tried telling my doctor about it and she said it's due to the fact that I'm not eating but even after I eat it constantly stays and doesn't go away for a long time. I don't know if anyone else here feels that or it's something unusual that shouldn't be happening. I'm 16 and male if that helps any.
",3.387419354838709,3.5968960752688197,4.158225806451615,92.85733870967744,72.11827956989248,7.490322580645162,25.177419354838708,7.1686216300943375,0.7478903225806444,337,9,81,3,6,108,68,93,0.026,0.899,0.075,0.4881,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,6,4,1,0,1,17,15,9,0,3,6,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,9,4,2,0,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,6,1,8,9,0,11,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,5,7,44,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27940043536376874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364222748993954,0.21048847656707245,0.1690523218692474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19300931557446652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199807832952226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026747356409486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42041467814512506,0.17161135460104845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568532850967666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077443107466476,0.0,0.19724610740737694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675124930950548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816620759867847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753923216335645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289958039715955,0.1674537951692617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180009168853975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541205452727434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815092570633368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189622585407135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955586846650334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978854800787725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947425715705747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322909168922691
mentalhealth,crazyloco43,2018/02/05,"Feeling bored and empty I have a consistent feeling of every thing just being...so boring and repetitive. It makes things feel pointless. I lose interest in things I previously loved. I don't even feel alive.


I'm going to a therapist due to still living in an abusive household(I'm 14) but I can't go too in depth with these things, since she's required to tell my parents if I'm suicidal or anything. And I don't want her to interpret my ""boredom with existence"" as ""I want to end my life.""

Is there anything I can do to just...make everything a little more interesting? More enjoyable?",1.816190476190478,4.595996571428572,3.441642857142857,83.68669047619048,87.75,6.915238095238094,26.21666666666667,8.021203637495839,2.253248095238096,464,21,84,11,15,153,76,112,0.209,0.6609999999999999,0.13,-0.732,1,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,4,0,7,2,0,1,0,18,19,7,1,3,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,4,13,4,13,19,2,11,0,1,0,1,5,5,0,2,4,56,19,1,0.0,0.21162739255709076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29396683064636026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819824830091878,0.0,0.0,0.1179723104248466,0.0,0.15048929437592432,0.0,0.16052599495545572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612487302140624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301995473368165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615976010569568,0.0,0.1790173139079067,0.15771869634899569,0.0,0.0,0.19982244328148235,0.0,0.0,0.16120535422989446,0.0,0.1192256740691914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983287814207483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775065517830052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426407036681971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19537381156440725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611577822006434,0.0,0.0,0.20738365026505087,0.4746505988613676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21070134392609405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlightlySane1,2018/02/05,"I find it hard to call people by their names It's not that I don't remember names (though I usually won't if someone just walks up to me and says ""Hey I'm Bob."" or whoever), it's just that I sometimes find that I have to force myself to call certain people by their name. I work with a guy who likes to be called by a nickname for instance and had to force myself to work on it to eventually call him by the nickname and not his full first name. Another example and more closely related to my first statement would be my wife I hardly ever call her by her name and typically only address her as Honey. I don't know why I do I kinda just wonder if anybody else is in the same crazy boat as me.

And strangely enough I am far more comfortable with calling people by their last names.",6.546481481481483,5.023456950617288,7.239598765432099,79.22569444444444,65.91358024691358,10.322222222222225,33.21296296296296,9.188382445141503,2.6430222222222226,614,21,130,9,8,205,92,162,0.04,0.904,0.056,0.5413,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,4,5,3,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,0,2,34,14,12,0,3,8,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,1,1,8,9,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,4,25,3,23,9,5,12,0,0,0,0,26,6,0,5,6,94,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270111780885718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7420991667700776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011852351658742,0.0,0.0,0.12515554285236305,0.0,0.0,0.10956540669956336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214139495517484,0.20605943704683388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993378899089888,0.0,0.0,0.2170102189695033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656768498315505,0.09873386107236262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059176048046717986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212178543900916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519205633810845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721215229085032,0.0,0.0,0.09632426132987787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262967151329573,0.0,0.11979671676572015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900568555476905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340318266352832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092973801485972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135598623129305,0.1763623494249866,0.0,0.0,0.08604443913451783,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quintonias,2018/02/05,"Am I a sociopath? I'm a resident from Massachusetts in the United States and I honestly feel like I'm not quite...human in my reaction to the plight of those who are close to me.

I've notice that, upon hearing of the medical plight of family members, I tend to feel almost nothing. I feel, to be completely blunt, mildly surprised and nothing more.

I've notice it when, while I was in eighth grade, my sister had attempted to OD on medication due to depression and, upon hearing of this, I simply thought ""Really?"" but nothing else. Then, a year or two later, my dad was committed to the ER with a heart attack and, still, I felt nothing but mild surprise.

And, more recently, my two year old brother was brought to the hospital late at night due to showing signs of a severe sickness. Still, though, I felt nothing but a small budding interest in what had happened. I'm actually growing quite concerned about this.",5.425562015503875,6.7141117500000025,6.327906976744188,75.22387596899226,68.12790697674419,9.454263565891472,34.10077519379845,9.725611199111238,3.5089170542635664,719,34,125,16,12,238,103,172,0.07200000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.096,0.2894,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,0,11,0,8,4,1,0,1,21,22,13,1,0,5,3,5,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,2,1,2,9,7,13,5,25,12,2,27,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,2,15,84,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.11696093805555433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001721022628165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635207078905373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566541570740564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032307128812146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012325676134197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129883831066268,0.0,0.18180647499067812,0.08562425098717692,0.23015869437118686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598715172493683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27017000798516183,0.1420284452769796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352013684614827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058554972402745264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414820845921179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247555533587936,0.0,0.5750192829098446,0.27291083425961304,0.12576738904280765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748027036741744,0.0,0.0,0.07678201620221993,0.0,0.11834209744871392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540174214290895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914323021240823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775667459117795,0.09515127652582267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341613329517642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436504734771306
mentalhealth,ComfortableBlood,2018/02/05,"My depression is affecting my marriage. Would marriage counseling (in addition to my individual therapy) help? I've been depressed for some time, and believe that it's causing quite a few of the issues in my marriage. Even the areas my husband can work on seem to end up my fault because I'm not good at communicating them to him anymore.


I brought up marriage counseling to him, and he hated the idea. He says that I'm the one who needs to be doing work (he admits he has faults, but says he already knows what he needs to work on), and therefore marriage counseling would be dragging him into something that's not his responsibility (namely, my mental health). 


I can see where he's coming from, but now can't help feeling like I'm alone in these struggles.",7.3258333333333345,7.218166583333337,7.573055555555558,72.82750000000001,63.72222222222222,9.977777777777778,37.444444444444436,9.516144504307137,3.5477944444444436,604,28,108,10,8,197,89,144,0.151,0.802,0.047,-0.9131,0,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,3,8,1,1,5,0,11,1,0,3,0,24,24,5,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,2,4,14,2,18,18,2,16,0,2,1,0,25,11,0,2,4,68,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779935137225724,0.17878829784162778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067598926013812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876323607415444,0.0,0.0,0.18253615602217413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643470115594522,0.0,0.13956213607649287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27908768277752843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434977765393235,0.0,0.0,0.10700980839541964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819199803413228,0.1157440122740899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358910399016313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995691153819572,0.0,0.17221505907494394,0.0,0.0,0.21719134924359806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828959475133178,0.0,0.16910224494326773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903956381224896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915266255009137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327366806612653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026510221322706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978599700339538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232358599341654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257682694404041,0.0,0.0,0.1291054963020236,0.14749296229389286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472756224477187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937393407853607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527901484548745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447262803637824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35384796699054377,0.0,0.0,0.23018253769665506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adjacentpatient,2018/02/05,"I don't understand my reaction to my mother supporting me. Long story short - I recently went through an unhealthy relationship that made me decide to go into therapy.  My mother and I have a lukewarm relationship - as in, we talk, we're friendly, but it's superficial.  And I'm ok with that.  Anyhow I finally told her I was in therapy and it was like the floodgates opened up.  She said she was always worried I'd never be happy and she was so proud of me for getting into therapy.  I. Hate. It.  She keeps bringing it up in every fucking conversation we have.  Just writing about it angers me.  My birthday was recently and she wrote about me going to therapy IN MY BIRTHDAY CARD.

So you can see it angers me.  I don't understand why my mother being supportive pisses me off so much.  It's gotten to the point that I am avoiding any contact with her because I don't want to discuss it, and I know she does.  Any ideas?  I've run this by my therapist a few times and I am dissatisfied with her response - she simply encourages me to try to be more emotionally vulnerable with my mother, which right now is impossible.",3.1136046511627917,5.37651704651163,5.122499999999999,77.48375000000001,76.2093023255814,8.393023255813954,28.88953488372093,9.120678840339163,2.836818604651164,875,39,159,22,20,301,121,215,0.156,0.7490000000000001,0.095,-0.9372,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,1,0,1,7,14,5,1,5,1,17,2,1,1,1,31,38,12,0,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,13,16,0,2,5,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,11,2,40,8,27,24,3,25,0,0,1,1,29,13,2,1,8,119,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223405264039788,0.0,0.0,0.16710569296042538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489775198750198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752054701598343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820730449138266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035195984206036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345932998342476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492568645341948,0.11358730168203166,0.06419222430026507,0.0,0.13965474602399444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079275538582705,0.0,0.12130437969933787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870034904573608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920862360255654,0.0,0.0,0.06752374094423144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002594411118716,0.0,0.0,0.10873222249037988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625843660474305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032038038069452,0.0,0.09476155376911574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614774075693113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24262998805970326,0.2638234261601878,0.0,0.10492658276951022,0.11687335684386364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790800531274617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27885293794815585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875474504517258,0.0,0.0,0.5620302555484007,0.14265647455830935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164394106085656,0.0,0.0,0.11740338155429213,0.0,0.08341770248863753,0.0,0.0,0.25581492265162525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246933610913467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389767654346275,0.11086712696865772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477601852992105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saberbelle,2018/02/05,"Night Terrors Increasing? Hi Reddit, I've been having night terrors for years, however I've noticed an influx in the past couple of weeks. All of my terrors involve someone hurting me and it's by surprise (like in shitty horror movies). Lately I've been thrashing a lot more (according to my boyfriend) and I'm now waking up crying and more terrified than before. Can anything stop these? It's probably stress related but I don't know anyone who experiences this although I know it's common. I'm a 23F. ",2.967655502392347,5.840033631578951,4.298181818181817,79.6290909090909,81.10526315789474,6.401913875598087,28.63636363636364,7.686295010490155,2.351421052631579,405,19,65,7,11,133,70,95,0.232,0.7509999999999999,0.016,-0.9469,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,4,4,0,5,1,1,0,1,9,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,5,2,9,7,5,13,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,10,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426058949258187,0.0,0.18154905616780595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18772888288754375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441085989453739,0.2423374991573903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215805833916696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23617514330607536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24249075122078226,0.0,0.24886567169748625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107782359779801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756074910050924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.414068362572614,0.0,0.0,0.25117400383742794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106039628635032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23786252240057726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869281329904952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844457545342552,0.25271611574550845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696571135282466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207016405217526
mentalhealth,alathea_squared,2018/02/05,"18 yr old HS son just had a police visit tonight My son is a senior, and is 18. Age of majority is 19 in NE so I think he's okay, but some things came up tonight that worry me. I am a depression sufferer- long term, chronic, due to chronic pain. My son was diagnosed 6 months ago with an anxiety disorder and takes lexipro for it. 

In short, he is close friends with a Junior at school that is trans, and going through a huge difficult time with parents and step parents at home. My son and they chat and talk mostly via computer, and some things were said that the parents took as threats to themselves. Police were called about it and he got a warning tonight. 

After I got the call from the officer I asked my son (before the officer came) if there was anything we (mom and I) needed to know before the officer showed up, because it could just be the parents exaggerating. He said no, there really wasn't. After the officer got here and we all talked we found out that apparently there were messages sent involving killing, or 'they need to die' or something to that effect. The officer said that he had actually seen the texts. He talked to our son, said sin no more, and left. We then talked with our son again, who was now quite visibly agitated. He can go from very angry/shaking to completely calm and deliberate in a few seconds, though. I noticed this, and so did Mom. I have a similar problem. 

We asked him again about the texts and he said that he gets very angry when texting this other kid about the situation they are in, and that he doesn't remember sending the texts, but obviously, there they are. My older brother was a paranoid schizophrenic and would have episodes like this too- calm placid demeanor masking pretty heated rage within a few seconds of each other, and would also have episodes where he threatened other people and didnt remember doing it. My son also has a notion that just because his name isn't on his social media accounts that that masks him identity wise- Im a masters student in infosec and will work dilligently to disabuse him of this faulty logic. Obviously the parents knew who it was, though it was probably by interrogating the other kid since there were no warrants for social media or phones.

So, my concern is that I think Mom and I should bring this up with my son's doctor, even if he won't (and he probably wont), but we dont want to feel like we are over stepping our bounds. Yes, he still lives with us, since he's in HS, but he's off to college next year and is going to have to learn to deal with his emotions and anxiety in a non sheltery setting at some point. If we dont bring it up on our own with our doctor (family practitioner) for him, what if he doesn't? Could this be something that is an offshoot of his anxiety issues or is it worse, something that is being treated as anxiety when it could be something worse? ",6.7645161290322555,6.517431652329755,6.9518637992831565,77.28112903225808,64.91397849462365,10.067383512544804,34.12903225806451,9.618343705623,3.058578494623656,2274,90,436,40,31,734,254,558,0.16699999999999998,0.778,0.055,-0.9971,7,0,4,1,1,0,64.0,14,0,4,4,28,17,3,0,29,2,54,7,0,1,3,89,85,47,2,14,15,18,1,2,1,6,7,5,1,2,38,44,0,1,11,2,1,13,12,9,0,2,30,7,44,8,59,42,12,64,1,2,1,0,90,26,0,12,26,300,82,10,0.0,0.0,0.0664610641826144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037134430107794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892775722142944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084018351200839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056044956511060715,0.0,0.12733874558196498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303286203606433,0.0,0.11590538997435045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908649396900286,0.15578891066733458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140723559260292,0.0,0.0,0.16312990477774947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021369602885086,0.058659097203518286,0.06912556622310423,0.07068267199872011,0.0,0.07805471003804786,0.13941756352456264,0.0,0.0,0.15963808664194476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660942913296143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498298663650095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420372738437301,0.0,0.03443614595906402,0.048654524622092896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467407616179028,0.05261807743095363,0.0,0.03558227024625133,0.0,0.11611763656030948,0.0,0.16341037429473662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831528778467807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356553898532238,0.07108436262568725,0.0,0.0,0.07534855497122267,0.0,0.03742895692594948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399673653117941,0.0,0.0,0.06654573473447377,0.0,0.060138332331067,0.060271152266525324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392927292520308,0.05436109532510204,0.0,0.0,0.10099860979227523,0.0,0.0,0.07243088526983188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753847042182488,0.07146518020643501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246896712901774,0.0,0.3781150378489182,0.0,0.0,0.04721572195246376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438163414891353,0.0,0.0,0.06928769500794449,0.1468583203344192,0.0651676877171676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243849589237816,0.0,0.0,0.04363007506371433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430032572443064,0.0,0.3239192451372768,0.0,0.0,0.06892631955000977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267501201739552,0.07655334395831538,0.0,0.13884979499358358,0.0,0.2097235141260216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438907523147244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120679892764789,0.21896222258074768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904924277090839,0.08727840446448472,0.1338264558756907,0.0,0.03971281724729663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566762593528667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192243291978205,0.0,0.0,0.11238820576467907,0.04017034041288085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495815558379225,0.06916435845586644,0.13881047982759492,0.09676027059971548,0.0,0.0,0.04385765662402478
mentalhealth,maryfittnesspizza,2018/02/05,"8 year old son with depression. Looking for insight and advice. I have an awesome 8 year old son. He’s sweet smart ( straight As) seems to have playmates at school. Participated in soccer helps with chores and has a great sense of humor. But he has depression. He feels he has no friends. Yet the teachers confirm he plays with kids all the time.   He’s been meeting with a social worker at school and they are working on his confidence and the difference between big and little problems etc... 

Today,  Super Bowl Sunday, we relived a familiar scene. He is a crying puddle on the kitchen floor. He just can’t explain it but he’s so sad, he doesn’t think he has friends, he says he annoys himself, he says he wants to die or hates his life etc...   We have a good close family. His dad and I have been married for over  9+ years. We see grandparents often etc. 

We are starting a new therapist on Monday but I was curious if anyone has had success with helping kids through this phase with just talk therapy?  Have you moved on to meds or supplements ?  I wish I could take this pain away from him. We really want to help. Thanks in advance. 

",1.6806240487062425,4.339339497716897,2.713972602739726,90.05153729071539,85.5296803652968,5.8015220700152215,23.636225266362253,7.2427474758485975,1.1486207001522075,886,34,173,14,27,281,139,219,0.131,0.659,0.21,0.9387,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,5,1,1,5,5,18,2,0,11,0,20,3,0,0,1,38,33,14,1,6,8,3,1,0,2,0,2,2,2,2,3,18,1,0,5,2,0,2,3,7,0,0,4,6,17,11,27,28,4,29,0,3,2,0,43,15,0,5,12,100,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200036037162422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586809633766022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537931981022033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804978261446187,0.0,0.13489550242432538,0.0,0.0,0.21154349609906906,0.0,0.12745217929586716,0.1283050648438631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4108800392323104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576960438343722,0.0,0.06209388701537416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975764354395536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300298953803852,0.0,0.13539292235559894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124449189315492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469407654480197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674078810184653,0.0,0.12308285050033504,0.0,0.0,0.10312525273082647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640864673266614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052225736861012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860581349880607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577263338671447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067315553776912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750777926697398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867201383973363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531889589664106,0.0,0.2485703890099443,0.09785966826456652,0.11179704021022643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518421040334365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692199586869648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233406057728226,0.09870598996274628,0.0,0.11306232485003695,0.1404381954951743,0.1425860452521271,0.0,0.07868847158654488,0.0,0.0,0.07160857054524064,0.0,0.11640476042569052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448671161942269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121966468504207,0.0,0.0,0.08940348696123672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372471395383722
mentalhealth,MrTimscampi,2018/02/05,"Just moved 200km from my parent's house, need some help I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but it seems fitting. Sorry in advance if it's not.

I've lived in the same house for the last 26 years. I've never really liked ""sleeping out"" or spending time away from home really.

Last month, I got a job in a really cool company, doing something I like. It was sort of my dream job before graduating and it's the first place I sent my resume to, first place I got an interview at and it's now my first job (I got really lucky, if you ask me. I'm still not sure I'll be able to manage the job, I don't know what they're expecting)

The issue is that it's on the other side of the country. Since I got the interview, my anxiety and chronic depression have acted up, making it difficult to see this as a good opportunity.

I've been somewhat faking being super okay and excited about this with my family, because I know they're worrying about me moving to a new city, without anybody from the family around.

Well, I'm now at a friend's house in the city I'll be living in (I couldn't find an apartment in time, adding a lot to the stress).  
It's 2AM, I'm leaving for work in 6 hours and starting my first day in 7.5 hours. I've slept about an hour, then woke up crying.

After sitting in bed for an hour, crying and trying to find articles to see if this is normal, I gave up on sleeping and got back on the computer.

So, here I am, kind of a mess. I don't know what to do, I've been thinking about just not going in and not taking the job, going back home.  
I know I can't. It's a great job, I need to take this and I won't have another opportunity like this. But my head is, as usual, playing the ""let's make you feel even more like shit"" than usual, and this time the techniques I usually use to cope and get myself back together (learned in therapy a few years ago) don't really work.

I know it's normal to be sad about moving away, but this feels like a bit much. It's only the first night, so perhaps this is expected, but I worry it'll go on and on for days or week and I'll never get used to it.

Is there any tips or techniques on how to cope with what I'm going through ? It feels like it should be a somewhat mundane thing and not something I should agonize over, but it is.

For now, I'm living on borrowed money until my first paycheck, so I can't really go find a therapist to help. I do plan to, however, once I find a place and get some money.  
But in the meantime, I don't know what to do to not feel like a lonely piece of crap 300km from where he should be...",3.5034249416645054,3.6195731252268635,5.13374332382681,86.29592740471871,71.83121597096189,8.475001296344308,24.998755509463315,8.418075326091056,1.3050278558465127,1996,51,456,30,35,681,227,551,0.102,0.779,0.12,0.7985,9,2,2,0,0,0,72.0,0,2,0,13,24,30,2,1,36,2,37,7,6,5,3,85,84,36,0,14,22,1,4,7,1,5,1,0,3,0,33,19,0,0,18,2,4,11,18,9,1,6,12,7,39,21,74,59,11,91,0,3,2,0,12,38,2,15,47,289,72,14,0.05539346255476391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910296230452001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037669454060009135,0.05808487533364401,0.04237584723581996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049311925769790516,0.05178540992091548,0.0,0.10408796302296644,0.12778246041068286,0.0,0.033767340629853086,0.0,0.04713575671280524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047531432878366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216942350795858,0.07144840152200509,0.0,0.04771030812958235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03658685958923389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444005320942497,0.0,0.11203439622004097,0.11871930215178153,0.0,0.0,0.20251448495146648,0.2827059057079123,0.0,0.0,0.04279685176038559,0.0,0.08682239371203103,0.0,0.15740690656358924,0.04646140826590596,0.22151606147075886,0.0610714880227289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056849673595521726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425814061276192,0.0,0.1111283188985934,0.0,0.21820560981251386,0.1917498555586521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578163832337858,0.3298167854046785,0.0,0.0,0.057683767075108285,0.2130995884913084,0.0903061304981869,0.0,0.058653678660908926,0.0,0.056643568484157525,0.0,0.18943713440671034,0.0,0.1467403268734081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709354097509369,0.0,0.0,0.07395113278518196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044214533326753236,0.17662345281205113,0.04072056863124194,0.08214710119268401,0.08544570644175868,0.05349935131390428,0.0,0.05198301215158243,0.10854766431589853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058992229773777875,0.0,0.04212922439791943,0.0,0.0,0.0615078847927396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314975138888684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053051624960132236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291882325953354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04730571435703109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828283568074638,0.05042812787690035,0.0,0.0,0.056860593287018764,0.04582204464554822,0.0,0.1108669341018944,0.0,0.0,0.08528918750876346,0.0,0.06200844620048247,0.03920777790484899,0.0,0.04423729075088708,0.0,0.06345302420150821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220768290316323,0.0,0.08329798007941774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334725201950349,0.06431607947683432,0.03680095513927716,0.03549389411510689,0.0,0.0,0.0969011204343257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037608524952305634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568433260646034,0.18302421922388884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443329437927812,0.0,0.049805375324148235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339732118247144,0.0,0.08065420094564607,0.11250950017404468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134314747851721
mentalhealth,ikfahna,2018/02/05,"Getting this into words. Is something wrong? Hi. I don't know if this is the right place for this. God, looking these kinds of things up online results in things like life-threatening physical diseases. So I guessed it would be better to ask _people_ online. I've done a lot of searching but I'm not sure what's wrong with me, or I just don't want to admit anything is. Most of this has been for maybe two weeks or longer. 

-Most noticeable physical thing is a pins and needles sensation (though more like tingling, not painful) in my brain? right above my left ear. It happens sometimes when I'm nervous. Or when I'm not. Maybe when I am but can't tell.

-I'm irritable almost all the time in certain settings. I also can get really irritated by certain smells. I try not to be, but I end up focusing on the smell and just leaving or opening every single door on the floor because I can't stand it. I don't remember being like this until recently. I hate it and I hate getting agitated and getting others agitated but god, things agitate me.

-A couple times at school I've gotten moments where I'm down the entire time and can't focus. Like, we've just been doing something pretty interesting and I was distracted for a while but then bam, there's something that I wouldn't describe as a pit but is kind of like a pit weighing me down. Thinking is slow. All that. Never lasts longer than 40 minutes, normally when I leave the class it's all good. I can't say much about it, though. It's only happened on a few days.

-I know I would never kill myself. My thoughts about it are mostly academic. But the fact that I even think about it kind of makes me concerned. Normally I don't think about it until I remember that I think about it. Does that make any sense? Ex. just remembered that I think about it when I wrote this. You know, like ""I would never do this because I do look forwards to the future because of this one thing next week, and I know issues I have now that I'm seeing as bigger than they are will pass but... hey, what would happen if?"" I don't see it as a good thing. God no. I also get really stressed when my friends are stressed about it.

-Dreaming as always. I haven't stopped dreaming at night. I hear that happens to people. 

-Big procrastination issues. I'm procrastinating right now. That's been basically all my life.

-Are my feelings even legitimate? Am I trying to convince myself that I feel like this for reasons that are ridiculous? This one is especially weird. Like I'm faking everything that I've written here. Doubts doubts doubts. Also a very prevalent one.

-There are some hobbies I stopped doing a while ago. Some have just faded away slowly and others were a sudden halt. Overall, I haven't had motivation. I want to write or draw and I end up just sitting there thinking ""hey, I should do a thing, but I know I'm going to end up doing something else"" so I don't do anything. Or I just try to savor the motivation to do something and try to think of something to do and then I'm not in the mood for things I wanted to do earlier. I have core interests that I maintain and hobbies I enjoy that are basically those interests or thinking about those interests instead of doing anything. Am I just being lazy? I could do any of my activities or hobbies right now, couldn't I? Again with the ""faking"". Are these all excuses? (Also I wouldn't want to bike or anything right now because again, procrastinating.)

-Generally being stressed and demotivated.

-Internet. Way too much. That's common, I know. It's not like these other things don't exist if you remove the internet, though. I'm avoiding other things by being here.

Nothing pivotal has happened recently, as a side note. No huge events or smaller ones. Maybe this has been building up for a while. A lot of people will post to see a therapist or professional. I don't know about being in a position to do that. I guess I wanted to get this out into words. Why would I go to a school psychologist if no sort of big event has happened, nothing is new? Maybe that's my excuse for being too nervous to go. How would I even start this as an actual conversation. It's like I'm ashamed. I wouldn't want to talk about these things to anyone close to me, except for maybe a few people.

tl;dr Nothing pivotal in my life recently. Been feeling odd for a while. Don't know how I worked up the... whatever to post this.",1.848216783216781,4.455229343822847,3.2007221445221465,87.39692937062941,83.65034965034965,5.809622377622379,23.3818648018648,7.208816865175817,1.0836785641025646,3459,127,668,51,100,1123,320,858,0.129,0.7659999999999999,0.105,-0.9667,0,1,6,0,0,1,129.0,0,2,1,4,53,48,4,11,34,0,86,7,2,8,12,146,157,68,1,24,39,1,3,10,1,12,4,3,1,0,70,20,1,4,27,3,0,6,31,21,0,5,13,14,76,26,91,122,18,102,0,0,5,0,19,40,0,29,62,478,146,11,0.0,0.0,0.04393425787282957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039908632840501126,0.0,0.04508229115565523,0.0,0.0,0.14401394964503558,0.03746129703614302,0.0,0.0,0.061232004784552235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031479913585232285,0.0,0.14819465213875244,0.0,0.04208880307896248,0.0,0.04229895819357565,0.0,0.0,0.1097781751609632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039817648128808315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050258618453274465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035945814748432295,0.04981517071527872,0.0,0.02903498984133515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039398410267683384,0.0460723826573066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03760948787475486,0.0,0.11962642685418008,0.0,0.0,0.08920835796495084,0.0,0.03793235546610902,0.0,0.040462207809882085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829230927847604,0.03216319897547083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034783315781283554,0.0,0.14113050905150476,0.0,0.07675986310129918,0.07552339804826731,0.0,0.0,0.09919199292510514,0.0,0.2388729228323229,0.0,0.0,0.08889835201360924,0.0,0.0,0.05074223496175545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398100246308216,0.0,0.0,0.049809356578384985,0.14064815072341816,0.19794006800461167,0.036698337902179565,0.0,0.09534203300836196,0.048915733512420866,0.0,0.0953995475696886,0.2199511477974557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561304332766151,0.0,0.0,0.07655093492235615,0.0,0.0,0.060104084722222575,0.0,0.2261495476012429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619161640319482,0.0,0.1041695194996664,0.04348181593506526,0.04788062349796921,0.042249405097701066,0.08822255679833786,0.12959734699739411,0.05125700583452825,0.0,0.0,0.12203029070666165,0.034240698920050286,0.04790579760919245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248482990408693,0.0,0.04703763709806372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623584903068014,0.04580280946944736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768354727493419,0.04628935620234918,0.13335919614599273,0.0,0.15300094236255268,0.1922395612126431,0.0,0.03580271501659322,0.0,0.09112784258207347,0.10762835203662076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079574047962421,0.04452717987214128,0.0,0.03186628137000391,0.0,0.0,0.0752795828539283,0.15471511248788658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042432007167189915,0.0,0.0,0.0361863854784128,0.03935056787839596,0.0,0.0,0.05227315585693686,0.329011389882636,0.23078245740608316,0.13269948566789913,0.0357418535565164,0.07875678076739381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226592804615614,0.0,0.043979231685290686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037147256628052135,0.15932824274582025,0.03573578266055244,0.0722266823854446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062468685972368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032776015351394516,0.0,0.0,0.1918908792383458,0.09844736612754168,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chasey-Boy,2018/02/05,"Literally just made an account to ask this so uh Why don't I feel emotions anymore? I'm a sophomore in high school and for about 1-2 years i've just slowly started feeling less and less. Without being too detailed I think it started about the time i had some issues with some semi-traumatic events, but I've mostly moved past those and in my mind, it shouldn't still be affecting me. I've been aware of this being an issue but it's really hit me tonight: I had a suicide with a friend and couldnt make myself be genuinely invested. A couple years ago a different friend had a much less real and much more drama-filled suicide scare and I sobbed for about two hours before getting confirmation that he was fine. I'm diagnosed for depression and taking medication for it, so why do I still not care about anything? I don't currently have a therapist or I'd be discussing it with them, so can anyone point me in the right direction? 
TL;DR: I can't be happy or sad and I dont know why",4.811293706293704,5.508734853535357,5.785353535353536,80.71213286713288,69.15151515151516,8.92059052059052,29.372183372183372,9.057496981413335,2.330574514374515,783,28,154,14,13,259,120,198,0.187,0.754,0.059,-0.9851,2,0,0,0,1,2,17.0,0,0,1,0,12,9,0,1,11,0,20,2,0,3,0,33,35,15,2,2,8,0,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,0,4,0,2,1,8,4,1,1,6,2,15,5,17,20,9,20,0,3,0,0,6,6,1,5,13,103,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147544831083146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838506272466266,0.09051829027081204,0.0,0.10653083991604788,0.0,0.12102341017987454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015708917829026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198850225023412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324004004925164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149982590448852,0.13139459976146767,0.0,0.13525343635292034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517208729495661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562000470841066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091317331173988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20003398458810026,0.0,0.06763515169656455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780777886669274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677683531219062,0.0,0.0,0.1274875831832687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702358009294516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711453530651961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224939170044425,0.08641254641022669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041278917668808,0.0,0.0,0.13071314370363904,0.0,0.0,0.13759070112413554,0.19032936449639307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357991568273265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237728402372634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734869175652954,0.08293250332383452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055428317022276,0.0,0.0,0.1296075315779251,0.13101586959988673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832585276380516,0.0,0.20676664689791965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832065944010431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973344193441906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503078044486536,0.0,0.08294985234129973,0.0,0.0,0.07548653866743722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645920544851652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504403391108143,0.0,0.0,0.12479047503614896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667301854711906
mentalhealth,DVGaming15,2018/02/05,"Just wondering I'm 16 and live in the USA if this is relevant. Back in February 2013, my then-13 year old sister came out with allegations that our father had been sexually abusing her for years. I was 11, going on 12 at the time. Since then she's struggled on and off with depression, self harming and suicidal thoughts, and has been in and out of mental institutions. This is where I come in. I've never really been the same since then either, but in my own way. Before that I was a good kid, with a bit of anger management and impulse control issues, but nothing major. I had a good social life and thrived around friends. I've noticed though that I've grown more... distant. I've basically become a shut-in, if you will. I've passed on countless valuable opportunities to bond with friends and family, instead opting to coop myself up in my room doing whatever all day. I've lost most of my social skills and I don't do very well in conversations anymore. I'm usually left standing to the side and listening. I've just recently had sort of a realization about all this. I think the reason I've isolated myself is because of this empty feeling inside of me. I crave for there to be meaning, but I just can't find any. I've never had any thoughts of self-harm or suicide, though, and I don't think I ever will. Still, I want some opinions. Could this be depression of some sort? I have Aspergers too, if that helps with your conclusions.",4.712785714285712,5.983213278571429,5.5892857142857135,79.92571428571429,69.78571428571428,8.885714285714286,30.07142857142857,9.255337874911486,2.5938000000000003,1138,45,218,23,20,373,160,280,0.131,0.7659999999999999,0.103,-0.8045,0,0,0,0,0,1,40.0,1,2,0,5,15,13,1,1,10,0,24,1,0,2,5,57,39,22,2,5,11,2,1,0,2,2,1,1,1,2,9,21,0,1,10,0,0,5,5,6,1,0,13,2,24,7,36,21,11,41,0,3,0,0,16,20,0,11,14,147,33,1,0.0,0.13871840930166726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592342519339431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611002002508106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422433517175347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002583570479303,0.0,0.07136972593799247,0.12930356826812925,0.09962484387943447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781896735579612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339061617998525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085242038466066,0.0,0.0,0.13131304976065675,0.0934773398611102,0.0,0.0,0.07550569189367834,0.0,0.2016784000227193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590384853808972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103708174151593,0.0,0.059198207533581924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700726663593013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090850651396995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653818496004807,0.19639911895811696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847498567169198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219912344750107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272057033091866,0.0,0.08269572775188297,0.0,0.0,0.10338211140962383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780458152744273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753237862749406,0.0,0.0,0.11798719246117985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805957039428546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123395990618721,0.13329419817549334,0.12285377621277685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500323181920096,0.12037579094984065,0.115600503971394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442759939504309,0.0,0.0,0.1936964360989692,0.0,0.0,0.2386927674716151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349872563961624,0.0,0.0,0.1223954554015277,0.0,0.25612888796621125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003784415452345,0.23005728683548105,0.1858938747418002,0.06826918436062338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289449916435506,0.0966016977784528,0.0690556995339495,0.09293114996395843,0.0,0.0,0.10526727662944116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269662103163233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150788921724977
mentalhealth,werty_line,2018/02/05,"Worried about a colleague Some context: I'm a soldier in the Portuguese army and there is a 20 year old guy (who I'll call Peter) who might need some help.  
  
 Last December we heard that Peter was coming to our base, one of my mates who was also from Peter's base knew him and told us that he was crazy, was always alone and very quiet, and was probably autistic.  
  
 He told us of a time where Peter beheaded a bird and another when in the middle of the night he cut 7 pillows and slashed his matress, and how sometimes headless rat corpses would show up.  
  
 So January comes and Peter shows up here, initially quite a normal guy, just a bit shy.  But as time goes by he starts becoming more secluded, never starts conversations and always avoids other people.  
 I've heard him punching his locker from my room and I've noticed that he doesn't even shower, he just changes into his pajamas when he's alone and hangs his (dry) towel.  
  
 Now this is the really worrisome part, he has cuts in his arm, I've only seen a few on his wrist, but the other people in his room say his left arm is full of scars and recent cuts.  
  
 So what should I do? I could report him or maybe just talk to him, but I don't know if that would help, I just know that a guy like him shouldn't be given a rifle with enough ammunition to kill 38 people.",6.269983827493262,5.401102437735855,6.575539083557953,81.63306603773586,66.1320754716981,9.533692722371967,29.11725067385445,8.634040054169528,1.9322345013477085,1026,27,213,13,14,332,154,265,0.097,0.87,0.033,-0.8872,2,3,0,1,0,0,27.0,4,0,0,1,16,6,4,1,15,0,19,3,3,1,1,42,34,24,1,8,9,0,0,1,1,5,0,4,4,3,12,17,0,1,3,2,0,3,4,5,0,1,12,5,23,1,21,15,8,30,0,0,1,0,42,14,0,5,14,131,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466005863257952,0.0,0.095204548344307,0.19811891131427573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483470686261412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148179480788785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997218455396028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156375176433958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593951979036944,0.20510272717915684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505204367848112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301086990399213,0.0,0.07863165523917634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35363578899710923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959392461995234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171161010593524,0.0,0.1308539542181085,0.09704195166024894,0.0,0.0,0.12934858956258186,0.0,0.0,0.05816200371000806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960211127165835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629364308106292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827435057833721,0.0918189946613142,0.0,0.0,0.11172071983461357,0.116644098637222,0.0,0.1355396502071003,0.12492335062159225,0.0,0.08067162062902766,0.09054318095466972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891996350991108,0.0,0.2476036373775825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835644848190567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266247366161332,0.0,0.0,0.07626672386589738,0.0,0.11754789095485145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467364296461944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774387298512813,0.0,0.1685289477982681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568818837832738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883847151367115,0.0,0.0,0.2275154856666587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28640590513729064,0.0,0.0,0.09822903401290556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090144286968005,0.0,0.1691399528476944,0.0,0.0,0.07666454348898581
mentalhealth,peeltheavocado-,2018/02/06,"Can anyone relate to this work anxiety/phobia? I have an irrational aversion to working. Not in the general-jokey-""Mondays, am I right?""-way. But in a way that it has meant I've only worked a few months top at around 8 different jobs in the past 6 years. I am fine going to Uni, I actually love going to Uni and never miss a class. I haven't tried yet but am signing up for volunteering, and I have an inkling that I'll be fine with that, too. For some reason though, as soon as I get accepted for a job and then have shifts or know I'm about to have a shift, I am unreasonably uneasy about going. I pace, I fret, I lose a lot of sleep - today was supposed to be my first shift at a casual job, and I had to get out of it, after maybe 4 hours of sleep tops. I can't concentrate, I feel so down about myself, I convince myself that I don't belong there, I don't act like myself when I'm there; instead I'm nervous, anxious, overly-apologetic, sad, embarrassed, all the great things.

I don't deal with this in any other part of my life, I'm not sure what is at the root of it and why it only applies to working. Socially, I certainly get a bit nervous if I'm going to a party or meeting someone, but it's mostly excited nerves like before you go on stage, whereas for work it's like dread-nerves like those dreams where you realise you're naked in a public place.

I chatted with a mental health professional online and agreed that I should talk to a GP about this and get a referral for a psychologist. I don't know why this is ruling my life, or if it's common or maybe a phobia of some kind. I have a legitimate unrelated phobia and while the panic I experience with working is about 100x less intense, it's like a blunted version of it where it's more sadness-concentrated dread than terror-dread. Can anyone relate?",8.272364864864867,5.565118148648653,8.736858108108109,73.61177364864871,63.45945945945946,11.736486486486488,35.287162162162154,9.978442167317967,3.1911216216216216,1425,45,292,23,16,480,188,370,0.16,0.711,0.129,-0.9108,4,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,2,0,10,17,24,0,5,24,0,26,6,2,2,4,42,46,24,0,3,11,0,1,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,23,14,0,0,6,3,0,6,9,8,0,1,3,1,32,16,48,40,11,40,0,3,0,1,9,18,0,10,19,196,55,11,0.0,0.0,0.09788857762269552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821457950531064,0.0,0.0,0.11332231227239987,0.0,0.1402788672777139,0.0,0.0,0.08929761168358527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853568469218174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951308534542814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341572044364676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104803122055455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812291666113572,0.0,0.0,0.050720002578925116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532405969574136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963238346117533,0.0,0.28504384282718104,0.0,0.0,0.11059267990976178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662537031890423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878563607099504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986280779956698,0.0,0.0,0.10445794911289033,0.11025605444159488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417045447689354,0.24503321606904316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222179059351474,0.0,0.08528039960214262,0.09053414225076216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015507589433283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108939029135976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006688374361016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736564121918901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258131018362048,0.0,0.1176927581479688,0.0,0.10862649585403296,0.09575772221494926,0.0,0.0,0.104803122055455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313590025428668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566461855068437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076588523836644,0.10225392191869427,0.08499276077090806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945414587244223,0.0,0.0,0.08062577986503397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664183866908377,0.0,0.0985545565292396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950826245992358,0.0,0.0,0.0681042446580095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924361098807238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102924713450455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381634303018679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459667291805761
mentalhealth,ManateePower,2018/02/06,"I can't cry. I kinda wish I could though. This started several years ago, so it's not really anything new. I just wanted to see if anybody else has this or whatever. Anyways, a few years ago I stopped being able to cry from emotions. My eyes still get watery if there's something irritating them or whatever, but no matter how emotional I am it won't cause me to cry. There are times when I wish i could cry, because not being able to feels wrong. Like there's no release, and all the emotions are stuck inside.",3.507941176470588,5.0521554313725545,4.537401960784315,85.24080882352943,73.11764705882355,7.452941176470588,27.45588235294117,8.07648339933343,1.7376823529411758,402,15,80,6,8,131,69,102,0.181,0.6679999999999999,0.151,-0.5051,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,0,2,0,10,1,1,2,1,21,18,10,0,7,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,3,11,1,5,12,2,10,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,11,54,15,0,0.2594178404132806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299582631495529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673938941380864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906935384329712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324679101869447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712403654821065,0.0,0.5699166327412983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835515894753713,0.43771523066730894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558472737345906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776755726971506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336922656233293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252736834030144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309485567109715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033612159341812,0.0,0.0,0.14653415965723018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985626377956013,0.0,0.0,0.09180864133040847,0.0,0.1035857112288657,0.10844246527372926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274383555348652,0.0,0.07563431446399714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650568178011764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29831771381445643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181634219854009,0.0,0.1670565838781587
mentalhealth,SelectSelection,2018/02/06,"Can insomnia cause temporary delusions? In the last two years I've been dealing with increasing difficulty getting to and staying asleep, as well as various other stresses (deaths in the family, loss of support system, assault). Over the last few months I've had some sort of episodes where I people convinced that I've either done something horrible, usually twisting memories of already-committed acts, or would otherwise be better off dead.

I am working on getting help, but I was wondering if something like this could be related to my insomnia.",12.717553191489365,10.900730861702133,11.400531914893625,55.18250000000002,54.21276595744681,15.35744680851064,53.287234042553216,13.816669648895859,7.6774978723404255,447,28,61,14,4,142,75,94,0.104,0.7709999999999999,0.125,0.2617,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,2,8,1,1,3,0,10,3,1,1,0,12,14,6,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,4,0,4,5,13,6,5,15,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,5,6,44,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547851712832591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154381423343136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167442747872519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621003611889847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21461431343714524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770345391074826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219137985044207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056954615576714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418963005123236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102457615281976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739489655798365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539204636838052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32290230488320565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22353147049077696,0.0,0.0,0.2402312457762782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379854866057501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20486400028054436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23097473416846426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856165661196092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274302111497084,0.15267719241191266,0.0,0.0,0.14897764100498725,0.0,0.0,0.13505150788350884
mentalhealth,Alfred1400,2018/02/06,"I can't find what I have. I have a serious problem, but can't find what it is. And it fucks me everyday (sociopathy ? Bipolar trouble ?...) Hello redditors, before all, sorry for my english.

I am a student, and for two years, I do not know what's happening to me. My social life is worse than rotten, and I feel like it's getting worse. I feel like I'm in cycles of happiness and sadness, which can vary in just one day. I'm not an antisocial person, I do not really have a hard time making friends and acquaintances, but it never lasts long. I do not get attached to people and I get tired of them very quickly. I have also for two and a half years a huge disintegration in a lot of things, even things that I like. My main activity once at home is to listen to music, and live in my head an imaginary life where I am admired, where I attract attention and I make others laugh. Since my childhood I'm pretty like that. I can spend hours daydreaming while walking inside the house (I have a hard time staying on the spot with no activity). I love doing the same thing in high school. In fact, it's a little sad and hard to admit it for me, but I feel that I want to be noticed in social life. It's a little weird though, because deep inside me I'm not really trying to please others. I have been many times against authority, and social norms. I love getting out of the heap, and doing what is best for me while many others just follow the rules that society imposes on them as idiots. I almost never listened to my parents, because they are like many other people superficial people and unable to think for themselves. Besides, my parents have always had a childish and immature behavior towards me, they often made fun of my asociability when I was young, and also of my excessive weight. They also had very offensive words and jokes against me. So for a long time now, I have no real affection for my parents, or even other people in my family.
However, I can feel feelings and empathy for people that I appreciate more than others.

I used to be very socialist and selfless some years ago, and now I am a pure liberalist and I feel that I develop more and more selfishness.
I do not hide that I want to be rich, independent, and full of power. However, I strongly wish to remain discreet, even anonymous.

The longest friendship I had really lasted barely a year and a half. I consider many people around me as acquaintances and not my friends. However, I can become very communicative and argumentative when I can draw something that benefits me.
I have a great interest in girls, but I do not feel made for a life of a couple, I have the impression that my real love feelings disappear after masturbation. It may be because I fell madly in love with a girl two years ago, and it did not work at all. I often think about her, and I can not get out of my head that it will never work with her again. It makes me very depressed and sad.

I have a negative vision of many people, for me they are all selfish manipulators who have an alter-ego when they are in public.
So I have never looked at anyone positively, at least not for long.

That's all. I am ready to answer your specific questions, because I can not write everything here, otherwise it would be much too long.
Please help me, I'm afraid it'll be too late in the near future.
Thank you very much.",5.125641938815483,5.923354099540582,6.2706898393817445,77.15286263755833,68.49464012251147,9.320972969122831,29.42800669539513,9.471427190081453,2.5980120303429604,2629,93,496,53,43,882,275,653,0.112,0.6729999999999999,0.215,0.9977,7,0,1,0,0,0,87.0,0,2,7,5,27,41,4,1,30,0,56,14,2,9,10,105,98,46,0,5,19,3,12,5,2,4,6,2,1,3,39,34,1,0,17,1,2,4,21,16,0,6,8,16,85,25,69,80,16,74,0,4,1,5,35,31,1,8,43,379,124,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000272890543751,0.0,0.05649729203556951,0.0,0.0,0.13535910601014445,0.046946634353047786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945074275259538,0.0,0.0,0.05022648350839593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757441031083942,0.062312352758053864,0.04800995439204347,0.0,0.059210160035250474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624285539966352,0.0,0.03638675538144051,0.0,0.04859516165801401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179624022563052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070738670193003,0.0,0.05318851908794011,0.0,0.2282244575232653,0.08061407700160156,0.0,0.0,0.10313519782325607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718115691482976,0.052160130421245884,0.14738772476982606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06220414307741249,0.0,0.0,0.0498927366477871,0.060061002225198966,0.1516258928698861,0.0,0.11580805854686027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03781768017196297,0.05961168431564245,0.056594673492708726,0.0,0.05556313351993364,0.06510204044700578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03100740207775078,0.09198098235605584,0.06364513208710068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940674888643175,0.13782179113042636,0.1130969493780485,0.049820609603522636,0.1997225683542164,0.04737927111813594,0.0,0.0,0.04796695570519716,0.2036879382090147,0.10677347073264994,0.11298398794853798,0.2860092327161965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295157558265714,0.0,0.17406083005135348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423546703745926,0.0,0.06008632211381481,0.03823220157242861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794590028390876,0.0,0.0,0.2738056031076351,0.04926447572850005,0.0,0.1238662147888209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740024821964498,0.0,0.0539870961277732,0.0,0.0,0.06320422059239736,0.0,0.0,0.12843846952979288,0.1084338483858553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057100872681411785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667187772091723,0.0,0.0,0.1725417340762601,0.0,0.04343549661649723,0.0,0.06315847843804501,0.0,0.060137077272920836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051944702199167435,0.0,0.0,0.1124504389683649,0.07230435476171594,0.05543316013571555,0.0,0.13159771397994147,0.06484742216496024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03830602696618434,0.0,0.16534480162808798,0.0,0.0,0.04872946532352257,0.0,0.2793184665955521,0.06655691203185837,0.0,0.0,0.0687053476856151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488114795499357,0.0,0.0,0.08215004444545658,0.0,0.1149952527166388,0.040079725192091166,0.0,0.0,0.18166576159463316
mentalhealth,Arkadyush,2018/02/06,"Walking pointlessly all the time Hi. I am 16 years old and this problem has tormented me for some time.
I'm walking all the time. I feel urge to walk, walk and walk. Usually when I go, I sink into such deep thoughts that I lose touch with reality. It is difficult to describe. I do not know what causes it. I do not feel it so strong, for example at school, but at home, when I have to do homework or any other work, it becomes unmerciful. Any thoughts?",1.1836263736263746,3.4980443406593444,3.000758241758245,89.75674175824177,83.61538461538461,6.716923076923077,25.583516483516483,7.908726449838941,1.5778386813186809,349,15,75,7,10,116,61,91,0.066,0.904,0.03,-0.2598,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,2,18,14,7,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,5,0,0,6,2,3,0,0,2,3,9,1,9,12,3,18,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,8,48,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135925857717866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546477270452002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368600912380545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23316740899705385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103890162299311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23128166936243325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671587752968136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257950146049207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419456422627921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206254572361864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333503197524428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660954860616349,0.4033436862766168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539415537845277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785854785425244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848026506599646
mentalhealth,nickelodze,2018/02/06,"Beginning to feel less social and like i'm becoming more mentally unstable So for the past two years or so I've been in this decline of socializing.  Even before this i've never been the type of person to go out and want to meet new people, but over the past two years, and especially over the past 6 months or so, i feel like i don't want to meet anyone new/socialize with anyone, and when i do go out with my friends to parties or anywhere really, i have this feeling that everyone i meet hates me.  I feel as though there's a little voice in my head that is telling me that these people can sense this oddness about me, almost as if everyone i meet gets a bad vibe from me telling them to stay away. I've begun to worry that this is more than me being antisocial, I have this nonstop paranoia that I'm gonna end up alone because no one would want to hang out with me or be in a relationship with me.  
If anyone has any idea to why this may be happening, or anyway to help me out here in changing some things in my life to help change the course of these thoughts i have, I would greatly appreciate it.",9.21190406265296,5.535341370044055,9.061644640234947,75.01858541360744,62.61233480176212,12.555849241311796,37.11649534997552,10.25414643259724,3.370041018110621,869,27,188,14,9,285,122,227,0.093,0.782,0.125,0.6813,0,1,0,1,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,10,6,1,0,8,0,17,2,1,0,1,35,34,19,0,7,8,0,4,2,1,4,1,1,0,1,16,12,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,2,0,3,3,5,22,4,37,24,4,30,0,0,0,0,14,14,0,10,14,130,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320414062205796,0.1170866322825115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687848490516931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371434418873253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621503674201388,0.0,0.09439277472527706,0.0689147759551905,0.12485583096041045,0.09619798458364627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23918571262518706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012953719793488,0.0,0.0,0.07466904957469363,0.0,0.0,0.2160499486699116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286477161293929,0.08076358158247009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734284061585293,0.0,0.05906442634561705,0.0,0.12849885714765633,0.0,0.0,0.12463901023391825,0.0,0.0,0.09997053260427938,0.0,0.0,0.11161435326868273,0.11602283288774745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155126307617034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276206992299132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985119006094854,0.1104619132123359,0.11330669577276238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139287117496933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090236145380151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719181916506752,0.21837051664567408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660621185828212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237596121786069,0.15675051155063566,0.09871168045594034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242329781714782,0.0,0.0,0.12137435252124767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304823001103069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049721158170325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976229293353016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510599090880601,0.0,0.11107192980466793,0.08974978228446423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208685938770076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000410397797702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201084829776523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480867093320893,0.0,0.16061622365484024,0.0,0.0,0.14560213901101393
mentalhealth,goofed_the_pooch,2018/02/06,"Girlfriend cries uncontrollably almost every night Hey, so I don't really know how to start this or what to say. My girlfriend is usually a pretty happy, rational, and fun person, but almost every night, the later it gets, the sadder she gets, until she starts crying uncontrollably. Usually, when I'm there, she'll direct it at me, for example if I get up to leave and go brush my teeth, she'll be crying when I get back about how she thinks that I don't love her and I left because I don't want to be with her, and she'll refuse to listen to my reassurance. I guess there is the possibility that I'm just the worst boyfriend ever and that I make her miserable, but it seems like she's perfectly fine the majority of the time. I know that her mom also has some sort of thing that is depression-related that she's taking medication for and it sometimes leads her to act a little bit loopy, so as a result my girlfriend is terrified of the possibility that there's anything wrong with her that would necessitate medication. I was wondering if those symptoms match up with any known conditions and how I should act when she's upset in order to support her. Thanks

EDIT: Wow, this sub has a really supportive community, thank you all for your advise. I'll talk to my girlfriend when I see her tomorrow.",8.433333333333334,6.962998682539682,8.8015873015873,69.36285714285715,62.17460317460318,12.368253968253967,34.09523809523809,11.374738998889045,3.723938095238095,1036,33,195,25,12,346,136,252,0.183,0.6759999999999999,0.141,-0.9209,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,2,17,18,0,4,11,0,17,5,1,6,3,40,42,24,0,5,6,1,0,1,4,5,3,2,0,1,17,10,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,1,4,37,12,25,34,5,27,0,1,1,1,33,6,0,10,17,135,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22651869680215506,0.0,0.0,0.09045084932099906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691597726527806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307662336752136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697155352266865,0.0,0.06894838454672443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348248781660574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727249804491017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231087730848673,0.19059341276937888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363729243410571,0.0,0.06428076195293732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245990409683562,0.0,0.0,0.12040346946290822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432022946251177,0.0,0.0,0.11976295189254732,0.1228900298134596,0.0,0.0,0.05525789182629856,0.11336195356622547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020826057653694,0.0,0.07549915163338096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278848466804969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246841239426516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212284689576986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987598205028619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550201030078659,0.0,0.1150694923098993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491723491303207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994645280489816,0.0,0.0,0.09013086002410887,0.1029674794631006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186475330288696,0.0,0.1601140568242525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567027592609404,0.0,0.11756047008827887,0.08504165645492934,0.09091034051762313,0.0,0.2082656676805596,0.0,0.0,0.0751426188530345,0.07247377539543473,0.0,0.0,0.06595303420496629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491406195657244,0.0,0.06671286549070553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265866203459867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803472767596115,0.12366368538047325,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,concentriccarl,2018/02/06,"Friend with schizophrenia at bachelor party Hey guys - I'm holding my bachelor party in two weeks, and I've invited a great lifelong friend of mine. He had developed schizophrenia in our late teens/early twenties (almost 10 years ago now), and had a quite a scary episode while treatment was getting figured out. Since then he has stabilized and we have remained friends - though we see each other much less nowadays since we live in different cities. This is the first time we'll be hanging out on an overnight trip, and this is the first time I'll be hanging out with him in a big group where I know drinking and maybe smoking weed will be involved and we'll be away from home. I'm not 100% sure what his triggers are, but I'm pretty sure he has a good sense of what he can/can't do in terms of triggering any symptoms. As far as I know, he has been completely stable and successfully managing since that first episode. I know he's gone on various trips with some of his friends where there was drinking involved - but I also know those groups of friends have their own illnesses that they all help manage together. Also one or two of my buddies on the trip know about the illness, but nobody else has met him before (obviously I don't say anything to them under any circumstances).

I could never imagine not inviting him - he's one of my lifelong friends. And I hate to have to wonder about this for my good friend for my bachelor party. I don't want this shitty illness to prevent him from being a part of this. But a part of me is concerned about safety. Should I talk to him ahead of time? Should I make sure there is (and he knows that there is) an exit plan if he's feeling overwhelmed? Should I not say anything at all but just keep this in the back of my head if I sense he's not feeling well?

EDIT: Was I in the right to invite him? I'd feel guilty if I didn't but I don't know what I'd do with myself if something happens on the trip.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.",5.955769742679678,6.012610872448982,5.7166503992901525,84.43331854480924,66.55102040816327,8.654125998225378,32.094498669032824,8.18289091462,2.1709450754214727,1570,59,317,18,23,487,193,392,0.08900000000000001,0.736,0.175,0.9867,1,0,3,0,0,0,38.0,6,1,3,7,15,18,1,1,16,0,37,7,1,3,7,69,61,27,0,9,16,0,3,0,7,6,4,2,1,1,14,20,2,3,13,2,0,7,9,2,1,7,9,6,42,16,50,40,11,48,0,1,1,0,47,24,0,8,17,213,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824018808344638,0.0,0.08838305620110201,0.0,0.0,0.14116843530947268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004429192592955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452665329658948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292637981425867,0.067869114659484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510566160538899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254250684599158,0.0,0.0,0.07047115139148295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221647828082273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292908052546846,0.0,0.0,0.07373275393329577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433947137715073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388589741862386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252304361772897,0.0,0.0,0.4773446451646357,0.0,0.04611398915715405,0.0,0.0,0.1480623225459312,0.0,0.0973107219031143,0.0,0.08739465335488175,0.07805104259496035,0.0,0.0,0.08714184484408752,0.09058372338132266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916110368492659,0.0,0.08853539749905062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845257489629026,0.0,0.0,0.33955083566374195,0.0,0.09956497176252807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779382087160758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058916512024407425,0.0,0.08867245946521568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488376258879966,0.0,0.0680741836049141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196191427419361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911613451810125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979561995927349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387900184625224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537647048180633,0.0,0.14038121365828826,0.0,0.0,0.0703345108322086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903721628047798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794948572334619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24956166011404235,0.09173947918228947,0.0,0.07094278616875713,0.0,0.08126109001698888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671835288309228,0.0,0.15440131373867105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244105417365135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206004646187325,0.0,0.0707995841033372,0.0,0.07935940623625659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571790384812752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056838742666554115
mentalhealth,lizsaysoyvey0425,2018/02/06,"Witnessed a very intense, somewhat gory traumatic event yesterday outside my apartment. Needing some advice on self-care So I'm gonna just include a tw/cw here because I feel it is necessary given the nature of what happened. If you are uncomfortable discussion on death/body parts, stop right here.
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.
.
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I’m still having a very hard time processing all this. I just need to put all my thoughts in one place so I’m doing that here.

One of the maintenance men at our apartment got electrocuted very, very badly yesterday on the fire escape outside our apartment (we are talking full hand on a power line and feet on metal kind of electrocuted). I don’t know why that’s what he was doing but it doesn’t matter. He was attached to the line for over 30 seconds. Someone else pulled him off (and also got electrocuted, but he will be okay). I called 911 while I was still in the apartment and then went out and started CPR because he wasn’t breathing at all. I thought he was gone. After a while, he came to. Screaming bloody hell, but conscious. I hadn't looked at his hand until then, but it was pretty much as good as gone. If you've never seen/smelled burns like that, I don't recommend it. Paramedics showed up and took over, I gave them my phone number in case they needed me for anything and that was it.

Come to find out just a bit ago, somewhere between our building and the ambulance or hospital, he died 3 separate times and they’re going to have to amputate his hand. I don’t know if he’s going to make it. I don’t know what his quality of life will be at this point. It just makes me so upset. These are the very sweet people that take care of our building and often times take care of the gross things we don’t want to. They’re super nice guys. I was put into a position where I had to comfort his brother for a while (the one who pulled him off the wire - suffered minor burns but will be okay) and I did a pretty abysmal job because I was trying to process what just happened myself. Ended up going to work almost immediately after the paramedics lefts and I didn't even make it 30 minutes into my workday before the adrenaline dump. I could not stop crying, shaking, vomited a few times.

But I don't know what to do. I do already see a psychiatrist and therapist, but is there anything I can do in the mean time? I couldn't sleep because all I could hear was his screams and his brother's screams and the sound of electricity going through someone's  body...additionally just the sight of that. Though the area has been cleaned, it's so hard for me to even go near the door of my apartment and definitely not anywhere near that fire escape. It's hard for me to go into my kitchen for the same reason. It just feels like an unbearable weight on my lungs, or almost like there's a wall there. I feel disconnected. I cannot get the smell of the burns out of my mind. Is there anything I can do to help myself with dealing with this? 
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mentalhealth,balisunrise,2018/02/06,"My boyfriend is on anti depressants and I'm having a hard time understanding it all I met my boyfriend (21M) in October and I've been head over heels in love with him since. Only problem is he never seemed to want to have sex with me. Not once has he started it and always just goes along with what I do but barely touches me, sometimes not at all during the act.

This made me feel horrible about myself and basically dropped my self confidence to zero. It basically made me feel so insecure in the relationship which in turn gave me some jealousy and anxiety issues.

He finally broke down and told me he's on 3 different types of anti-depressants on high doses that have made him lose his sexual drive. I thought I understood but it's still hard to cope with him not seeming to be interested in it at all, sometimes we have sex and by the end of it he cums and is nude and I'm still fully clothed, didn't even wanna undress me to see me naked or something.

I want to understand him but I have a hard time believing it's not me (he swears he's attracted to me and its only the pills fault). Even if someone's libido is gone I feel like he would still wanna at least see my body or something.

Does anyone have any experience with loss of sexual appetite while on anti depressants who might help me with their perspective? thank you so much",4.773745318352058,5.657886168539328,5.663164794007487,80.8802902621723,69.3370786516854,9.379026217228466,29.065543071161052,9.586721724236666,2.5092531835206002,1065,38,213,23,18,350,148,267,0.154,0.762,0.084,-0.9223,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,1,2,9,13,0,1,6,0,17,9,4,3,4,53,43,19,0,7,11,0,7,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,13,18,0,0,9,0,0,3,6,8,0,1,11,9,31,5,36,29,6,29,0,5,2,4,24,15,0,7,11,140,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196143126508798,0.0,0.0,0.07515733897020854,0.0,0.0845474402092124,0.0,0.0,0.07727810135901554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451810905194985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227627218728715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855719486740484,0.0,0.0,0.11546979878172163,0.0,0.0,0.09671673125171476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788784960315057,0.0,0.0,0.14599473640488486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810969387669346,0.0,0.0,0.1676465846761112,0.07895545658748603,0.0,0.12106917579590892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970124337412995,0.0,0.11342532817061232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407917614680455,0.11677036885250508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535408784557435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539944528357833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364352630545675,0.0,0.0,0.09974854740529307,0.3137298762209782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172441752316438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124486154756738,0.0,0.08523977958854749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770011327090565,0.0,0.16811076654216012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057526422963609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865703864977735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761401425127919,0.20122637797933104,0.1152963853984962,0.0,0.0,0.09142322413930576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364317390207874,0.1701672757422558,0.218614063858464,0.0,0.07822657184171238,0.0,0.2647840648918036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175189822876156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774047534855019,0.12889011422842747,0.0,0.0,0.10560652467793938,0.0,0.0,0.12021394193336594,0.0,0.2301102794854409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037503061466846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851018383252482,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mcthrowawaytemporary,2018/02/06,"Friend refuses therapy I (25M) have a good friend (26F), whom I have known for several years at this point.

The problem is that I have seen several red flags quite a few times now. 
I think she struggles with some fairly deeply rooted psychological issues, such as a very unealthy approach to dealing with her emotions (All or nothing, either expressing them violently, or repressing them to the point where she lets them build up resentment), an ungeneralised eating disorder, I suspect issues with alchohol (She gets very drunk very often, sinks into deep depressions and refuses to talk about anything mentioned while drunk the day after) and some very low self esteem (Which she adamantly represses, but that still manages to show itself from time to time).

She has stated that she doesn't know how to navigate being ""normal"", due to her having a very troubled childhood and sometimes even longs after the problems of her childhood, because she knew how to navigate those.

Basically, I feel like as a friend that cares about her I should absolutely encourage her to seek out help. However when I did so, she didn't refuse that she had the issues, but claimed that therapists couldn't help her. 
She referred back to a suicide attempt she had when younger, and explained how the therapist didn't understand her values and simply encouraged her to think positively and cheer up.
I tried explaining to her that not all therapists are like that, and she cannot judge the entire field by her singular experience. But she still strongly refuses any notions of therapy.

What can I do as a concerned friend who really just wants what is best for her? The problems are starting to take their toll on the friendship.",10.081203090507726,9.500473897350995,8.750741721854308,68.1837726269316,58.37086092715232,12.291743929359825,40.66313465783664,11.4731,4.811392671081679,1375,62,221,32,15,422,176,302,0.117,0.6990000000000001,0.184,0.984,1,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,4,4,17,24,2,3,17,0,22,3,0,4,2,53,36,22,1,7,8,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,16,12,3,6,11,3,0,1,6,11,0,0,7,3,38,13,35,25,7,32,0,2,2,0,49,11,0,5,21,164,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549141489066157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925167142530685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405340604064263,0.0,0.0587072727791868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010672554186446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819043406113406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06210943354658052,0.0992873063633598,0.08294825773949707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037507419444856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854512959752086,0.0,0.10833134118906076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360923620203683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094205794302902,0.0,0.0,0.04869523137488823,0.06880105969827313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976232541293032,0.0,0.05031593502201849,0.0,0.0,0.08077694357607376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910382741762247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30155547801218424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292728517867434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847945867688698,0.0,0.0941005405703424,0.0,0.0,0.08522782161332616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435947900651692,0.09240825012778962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208068782735304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27645564361292924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243333624272168,0.0,0.0,0.061696120194661225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046821128831644,0.2175968428808701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524914368484673,0.0,0.06816591622530024,0.0,0.1538202681456366,0.0,0.0,0.10067999130938513,0.0,0.10534318504688027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241016241229126,0.07740715310886008,0.0,0.0,0.22026871733174236,0.3354562323983757,0.0,0.12341805335827652,0.0,0.0,0.16847049260720956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538548467290023,0.0,0.0,0.1002579920396115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973128765647405,0.056803802119394425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062017937181647775
mentalhealth,broadstreetbum,2018/02/06,"Should I seek help? I’m hoping somebody could give me some ideas of what this could be. I’d like to do some reading and research, and maybe if someone or anyone can relate to some of this, or understand it they could give me a starting point.

I’m 30 years old, and as a kid always felt like I had ADD, and slight OCD. I’d get distracted easy in class, and could only learn if I taught myself. I used to pick up random hobbies, and interests, become fully immersed in them, and then sometimes forget about them months later. A lot of them I still enjoy. Despite this I never felt like there was anything wrong. I grew up with a close circle of friends, and lived a pretty normal life, until last summer I moved in with my girlfriend, and in an unrelated decision, I decided to give up drinking alcohol completely. I never felt that I abused alcohol, but just wanted to make a life change. 

In the next few months things that were once small symptoms grew to huge problems. I began to completely isolate myself from society, and would hide away any chance I got. I didn’t want to interact with people so I would wear headphones around every place but work where I wasn’t allowed to. The OCD had gotten so bad I began to eat the same food (ground turkey and pasta) for every meal and even the slightest alteration to my routine would cause terrible anxiety. I should add that i’m not depressed at all as long as I can be alone playing guitar, producing music, or listening to headphones I feel great, but it’s causing extreme stress on my relationship so I know I need help. If I come home and have plans to go to the gym and my girlfriend says “My parents invited us over for dinner. Can we go?” I know the right thing to do is cancel my plans and go with her but it’s almost like everything in my brain doesn’t let me. I begin to get defensive and insist I CANNOT miss the gym that day and get anxious and almost have a meltdown. To her it looks like i’m just a selfish asshole but I swear there is something else wrong here...

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Does anyone else have symptoms like this? I don’t think quitting drinking brought this on. I think drinking hid this from coming out my whole life. I don’t do any other drugs so it’s gotta be all me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.",4.092559407869111,5.523880754966887,4.740392806129076,84.80698188546944,71.47240618101546,7.360316841968576,26.78931307622387,7.827709963407826,1.5407294377353598,1814,61,352,23,34,581,234,453,0.103,0.7609999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.902,2,1,7,0,1,0,47.0,2,0,4,5,14,24,1,2,16,0,36,18,2,7,4,94,78,38,0,19,14,1,4,6,3,7,8,3,1,1,20,30,10,1,13,8,0,9,9,11,0,0,15,8,52,13,51,47,9,52,0,2,1,0,23,24,0,14,25,229,72,7,0.0,0.08704630763404511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702762710891718,0.14713305142568284,0.07608959086751824,0.0,0.0,0.06113037738322887,0.0,0.0,0.14988011053648015,0.0,0.05620200616361285,0.08299672793709502,0.0,0.1541093728495325,0.07527555947542648,0.06045702984254566,0.06540115034468783,0.0,0.0,0.06902460624350361,0.0,0.0613418241662838,0.0,0.08113846055695838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201339931834625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509415645954315,0.07771827859517584,0.12657052304211658,0.15405737257887575,0.0,0.0,0.2346294864055824,0.0,0.0,0.04738009697332622,0.0,0.06327696568860756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285828243287508,0.0,0.0,0.215908889030072,0.08519832338799721,0.07517501818911045,0.1227443985591614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048524219390786015,0.0,0.1237981270344596,0.0,0.0660273463246693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03714709107675939,0.0,0.21161934370372648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888365125449492,0.0,0.05676037373448103,0.0,0.115150327954234,0.21142854273026934,0.1252588610250246,0.0,0.0587582213180873,0.16199511609401349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773001893714655,0.0,0.07369332852431204,0.07296924583518218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829352301055217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075101513910184,0.059885359632183874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751249212165527,0.1556756120723149,0.21535340846997825,0.0,0.06487265186302194,0.06501592789179546,0.061693724449193375,0.0,0.0,0.062458963131037826,0.0,0.0,0.04903975131718128,0.0,0.07380741343030567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728121732754156,0.07808372796529098,0.0,0.05447480332206296,0.11332446271504153,0.0,0.07813292158440736,0.0,0.07198200032412712,0.0,0.0,0.07709119252489137,0.07823989082508725,0.0,0.0558749165793353,0.0,0.0,0.08157633996070948,0.0,0.0,0.05093272417035576,0.0,0.07675731313429326,0.0,0.06945000262930985,0.0,0.0,0.07474228736335622,0.0,0.07029793734087303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781411313442688,0.0734868187802948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887599673093589,0.0,0.06274036327987828,0.0,0.058423857513447135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224829780537156,0.0565584378216893,0.07266067981492293,0.0,0.05200027655393374,0.0,0.0586707912553853,0.0,0.08415612878315669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272055627473155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976163377243907,0.09414929427731404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764816729752527,0.08837168016764818,0.06345184582367216,0.0,0.0,0.08666540649906526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202321215650789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053484805547873784,0.0,0.0,0.20875521835993585,0.1606491264292099,0.0,0.04731029909568225
mentalhealth,10000kicks,2018/02/06,"I do not believe anyone can find me attractive and its making me depressed and unmotivated. Hello everyone,

I have been struggling very much with my image recently. To put it bluntly I believe I am simply not attractive enough for women to be able to be physically/sexually attracted to me. This belief has caused me much distress and dread. Its harming my relationship with my girlfriend, my family and friends. Its also causing me to lose all motivation at work and at the gym.

I also compulsively stare at mirrors or the camera on my phone, probably about an hour a day at least combined. I just need to feel like I look okay, and I have to fix all minor imperfections (which likely amount to nothing anyone can notice). This time can be better spent working, socializing or relaxing. 

The mirror staring, plus lack of motivation is harming my life and my potential. I wish I could gain back some motivation, but the feeling that no woman can every truly find me attractive (and thus never feel romantic affection for me) makes me too depressed. Why have a nice job and nice house if no woman can truly love me? What’s the point of these things if I can’t share them with a life partner?

I know I do have a girlfriend, but I feel like she is just settling for me and will move on once she finds someone new/better. I truly feel she just likes my attention and time that I give her, but does not find me sexually attractive. I’ve talked to her about this, numerous times and she assures me she does, but Its just impossible for me to accept because of my looks. Even if she truly does find me attractive, these feelings will surely drive her off. 
I am not upset that I can’t date models/attractive women. I really don’t care too much about my partners looks and I find I am attracted to many kinds of women. I understand I’m not attractive so why do I think I’d deserve someone who is attractive? I just don’t think any women could find me sexually attractive. My current girlfriend has a gorgeous face but is very overweight, so its not like I wouldn’t be with someone who is also conventionally unattractive (I still very much find her attractive though BTW, I consider myself very lucky to be with her). 

Regarding my looks I have many flaws that cannot be fixed by diet/exercise/haircut/grooming.  I have a large forehead/high hairline, weak chin/jaw, slightly droopy deep-set eyes, little to no cheekbones and chubby cheeks (even while at a healthy weight.) On top of this I have an ectomorph/thin frame and 5’7” short, with old looking skin. I basically look like a much less attractive Jeremy Renner.

I essentially have nothing women find attractive (Height, jaw/chin, eyes, large frame, good skin) other then good teeth/smile. 
I could post pictures if people would like to see what I’m talking about here, but It wouldn’t likely help me too much.

Is there anyone who has felt similarly? Any advice for me?
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mentalhealth,BlueDocks,2018/02/06,"Friend always, always paranoid about his health. My friend is as healthy as can be, but eversince I started really knowing him there's been *something* wrong.
He'd go to the doctor, clear up whatever condition he thought he had and then he'll go home and start googling every single aspect of his bodily functions. (For example: ""Smelling burning wood"" - then he thinks obviously something is wrong with his nose now??) Until eventually he discovers some other condition he may have. Then he stresses it until a doctor clears it up again and then repeat.
He would sit for hours up at night reading symptoms, and unfortunately  that is not exaggeration.

He's never fine, never normal, never healthy in his mind. And as much as it annoys me, its worrisome. Because there's no helping a person that always thinks that he knows better.

I'm looking for someone who has been like he is now to just advise how you coped or even escaped that state of mind. But any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.",4.621856720341771,7.339411251396651,4.996917515609597,77.99122247781796,73.35754189944134,7.116792638843247,28.406506736772922,8.124751697461798,2.2528919487348005,790,32,129,13,17,250,117,179,0.136,0.708,0.156,0.4891,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,1,9,10,1,1,3,0,16,5,1,1,6,30,29,19,0,3,5,0,0,1,2,4,4,0,1,1,10,6,0,0,5,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,4,3,10,6,20,18,3,26,0,0,1,0,24,5,0,3,18,86,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186343093301733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368468196940509,0.0,0.0,0.09176495791228373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225918503549091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934493464855568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27623701927035005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912769547974349,0.0,0.11369417072358992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085111875693096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533809131706544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434366771832724,0.0,0.0,0.09044855199014916,0.0,0.13535749005476552,0.0,0.1328903557294127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832081746717704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592568017790604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331701065474566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725052233567813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991976485949972,0.0,0.3122259872517289,0.0,0.0,0.12663360914773336,0.1322141785165908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178258548365472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497817972665618,0.0,0.08644708443795683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143356328156209,0.2077693690396068,0.0,0.0,0.19102480665321125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545752185838052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025605567738345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423615293455845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293033737240462,0.0,0.1071286069715027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917173708859774,0.2950750491039996,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LostHope1408,2018/02/06,"This is unbearable I have seriously arrived at a place in my mind where I just can't deal with it anymore. Yesterday I had what I think must be anxiety so bad that I just sobbed for 4 hours until I fell asleep. Slept for 10 hours, woke up to a text from a person who I thought was a friend saying that I should die. This triggered another session of sobbing uncontrollably. Now, I have an exam in two hours and I haven't been able to study at all for it. I couldn't be more stressed or disappointed with myself.

I want help. I need help. Desperately. I didn't have the best experiences with doctors/psychiatrists before so I am more than scared of going to one, even though I know in my mind that they aren't all the same. Do you think it's appropriate to ask a friend who knows a little bit of what's going on to come with me? Not to the appointment itself, just to be there while I wait and when I come out. I know it's asking way too much of someone but I'm desperate and don't know if I can do it on my own. Thanks for listening",2.982499999999998,4.05698687962963,4.37037037037037,87.7741666666667,73.72222222222223,7.992592592592592,24.14814814814815,8.472884824447931,1.2318759259259258,810,23,184,14,16,269,128,216,0.124,0.8029999999999999,0.073,-0.7949,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,1,12,12,0,3,10,0,22,2,2,1,3,36,43,12,1,6,7,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,15,10,0,1,7,0,0,5,7,8,0,2,7,2,27,4,31,30,9,26,0,3,0,0,14,12,2,2,8,135,42,2,0.1353503884524918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419266837102089,0.10354267669585164,0.0,0.13423121561055898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25306868448737674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301192076832806,0.0,0.0,0.11517321154591124,0.0,0.1420418822255187,0.0,0.14776756874685495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331847498187644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954030727890604,0.0,0.0,0.1404723341432245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939765505295531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239865160982428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091427487344796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153845489816954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144502463193096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998786050985446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29754013510012955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135656647052282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733306165569466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949810912787846,0.10036059801897793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171692611099397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818273848885953,0.1414123480711613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763606146422453,0.13550935090711902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468194490718422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504341267110205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461245278886485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734541274224126,0.1329810694431155,0.10745308964617678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221766233743454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983316591692305,0.1074348383115834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TweetyTweak,2018/02/06,"Starting To HATE My Therapist ii'm not sure if it's his fault or what... i've been struggling with depression for years. this is the 6th therapist i've seen and i haven't made as much progress as i want. i feel like this whole situation is hopeless. i find it hard to express myself sometimes and i don't feel like he takes my issues seriously. 



i'm starting to resent him. i feel like he treats me like a child. i'm too scared to speak up for myself because i never learned to be assertive. i'm losing faith in therapy and don't think anything's going to help me.  what would you do in my situation? ",1.1135888501742173,3.4904761138211424,2.802282229965158,90.61993902439028,84.60975609756099,5.790708478513357,23.4198606271777,7.1686216300943375,0.934703135888502,474,18,100,7,14,156,77,123,0.215,0.639,0.146,-0.8517,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,2,1,16,2,2,2,0,9,0,0,1,2,18,24,7,0,3,3,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,3,6,17,7,14,19,2,8,1,3,1,0,9,3,0,2,8,58,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277881096646974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466161756717777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374861205924898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355535771739569,0.3328115560334862,0.0,0.0,0.14192966020354547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882532773598511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910680289743915,0.1533139312677711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040857168023534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207946070693668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034618698040579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737266224177527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693647503162152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415393759142503,0.0,0.11976703872848465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546954733204602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490985709307801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535829819076978,0.0,0.2198261165053912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623398666438242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463563200674007,0.0,0.11675662618549748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758441241595516,0.36060074647831625,0.0,0.0995017483764687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159239627452234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337257978774073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103115502296981,0.0,0.0,0.0999998462520254
mentalhealth,jauchey,2018/02/06,"Why do I cry so much thinking about the past, present and future? I’m not sure where to start but basically I cry thinking about the past, present and future and all the memories I’ve made throughout my life.

 I remember staying up crying when I was 7 years old because I didn’t want my mom to die. She’s a perfectly healthy woman, nothing wrong with her then or now. 

With my current boyfriend I have episodes where I’ll just cry anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours just crying because I love him so much. I cry because I look back and see all the memories I’ve made with him in the time we’ve been together, in less than a year. I cry because I know I’ll look back at these moments when I’m like 80 years old. I cry because I imagine future memories with him, like us having a family and growing very old together and then reminiscing on all these memories we have. The feeling is like from the movie ‘The Notebook’ where the old man is telling the story of him and his wife and just looking back on their life. He says he likes it when I cry because he can see how much he means to me but I feel like the amount of emotion I have for this person will become negative. I’m extremely scared to lose him. I think he’s so attractive and has become even more attractive that he’ll soon realize it and go off with someone else. I have nightmares where he and another girl get together and it’s so painful to see. I take a lot of photos throughout our relationship and looking back on them I cry so much. 

I even cry looking back on photos of myself when I was like 5 years old. I’m not sure if there is something wrong with me or I’m just too emotional. 

 I cry when I’m at a party and a song like ‘Come on Eileen’ comes on. I see it as a song of fun times and memories that I’ll look back on when I’m older. It’s not a feeling of ‘oh I don’t want to stop, this party is great’ it’s more of a feeling of I’m going to get old and everything will end. With any slow type songs, I’ll get emotional about it and just start thinking about my life up until now. When I turned 16, I cried my whole entire birthday.  I knew I’d think back on turning 16 and the whole being a teenager thing and all the memories I’ll make with my friends, especially when I’d get my drivers license and a car.  

Sorry if this offended anyone who actually has problems and my problem isn’t actually a problem. I just want this to stop. ",4.371902646320265,4.4912388243512975,5.409909213830407,85.06123044234114,69.93812375249502,8.700045071148025,30.73214860601378,8.558390810932622,2.1093433906380783,1885,73,412,28,31,624,202,501,0.17600000000000002,0.67,0.154,-0.9558,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,3,0,2,2,42,25,1,1,25,0,22,5,0,4,7,82,73,45,1,8,15,2,4,7,1,3,4,4,0,4,17,32,0,2,15,3,0,6,7,9,0,0,7,18,53,16,50,62,15,76,0,1,10,1,32,19,0,5,57,252,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.08973450613521547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03126616890238293,0.04821125148143784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03214842625687155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24747616362393435,0.0,0.16816416407342455,0.10155672303040082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792108173125725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6565513603008679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477172216705323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038408169203725584,0.1551549626784051,0.04072227783897911,0.0,0.0,0.060735200977557136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04132146997304433,0.0,0.043343345759906,0.0,0.09299010146289982,0.06569244401821192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035521980050436004,0.0,0.09608505331614543,0.0,0.05225996553258883,0.0,0.0,0.050690181402592766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045278420022872176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02526794451919809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742546820146908,0.15723544682405166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23165632341036385,0.05143688467582677,0.0,0.03908829164322149,0.041496345848240856,0.08700974457098164,0.030690232522359605,0.0,0.0,0.050082803696582016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053848106770650384,0.0,0.0,0.13519454511841447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441164992586089,0.0,0.2894729145805421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892313308122356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877811499592102,0.0,0.04014564123604311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319823195398903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936245831363318,0.05208336525931925,0.0,0.0,0.036563027417161865,0.0460313397303709,0.0,0.1465519541206149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038956452315830135,0.035395603795423836,0.0,0.051467869674725525,0.06508599802414172,0.04900572864081483,0.0,0.07687823257440203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666620063311613,0.0,0.0345692389149238,0.0,0.040186223071402884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030545302762303363,0.1473021199933417,0.0,0.0,0.05361951522672784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002028981892903,0.0,0.0,0.05530508087602202,0.0,0.0,0.03793612193752166,0.08135588188135642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041487399454965435,0.10266411984973138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053801074025892,0.0,0.11843160219616908
mentalhealth,tea_mcfyck,2018/02/06,"Psychological aid dog Hey, I’m Sam, 20 year old, transgender guy from the Netherlands. Last week I’ve had a terrible relapse into depression. This resulted in me overdosing, but not being admitted to the mental health ward of the hospital. I’ve had problems with depression, anxiety, ocd and ptsd since I was 13 years old. (All professionally diagnosed) I’ve heard of people in the Netherlands talk about aid dogs for psychological issues. 

I’ve had therapy since I was around 9 years old due to bullying. This continued until I was 12 and changed schools. At 14 I had been put in an emergency list for therapy as I had been struggling with suicidal tendencies and self harm. At 18, this therapy stopped, as I had gone more mentally stable and took medication. 

The last year however, I’ve had major issues with anxiety, a panic disorder and recurring depressive episodes. These until the point that I dropped out of school (VWO, dutch people will know what that is) I’ve changed to go to college (MBO) and currently am learning how to become a game artist. 

I’ve been skipping a lot of school, to the point of getting a letter sent home because I’ve been absent that much. I don’t skip school because I want to, but simply because I’m either too anxious to travel to school, which is a +2h ride with public transport, or I am too sad to get even out of bed. 

I’ve been wondering, if I qualify for a psychological aid dog. After years of therapy, it seems like one of the few things that could actually help me. 


Tl;dr : queer young adult with psychological problems wonders if he can get an aid dog.


Sorry if this post seems like a big ramble, it’s 7.35AM and I’ve been traveling to school for more then an hour. ",5.6987419082465545,6.886619055727558,6.429407542921478,75.11685547424712,67.42105263157896,10.330931607092598,32.63847452856741,10.436869588844218,3.5547226006191943,1357,58,248,36,22,446,176,323,0.195,0.763,0.043,-0.9948,2,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,0,6,12,0,2,19,0,25,4,0,2,1,40,42,19,1,7,8,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,2,3,14,16,0,1,7,4,0,9,2,10,0,1,20,1,13,2,44,19,8,45,0,4,0,1,13,12,1,9,24,142,27,11,0.0,0.0,0.07758885580352673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216476152856455,0.08982200742680832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077944827457218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540298531261556,0.08781092445319835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821896406483752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348109134628642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054417405347271,0.08069948406610948,0.0,0.0,0.09112366340219427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052514634044400994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461977561987532,0.0,0.045186529738018434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872594477672741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451384914957649,0.0,0.0,0.05329289153098532,0.0,0.07975353807964422,0.0,0.0782998860409945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597249621208496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369580862901056,0.12962012723479852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768770302061265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675953087509535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009647901273444,0.16025179478681584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058447917743091625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502924816298969,0.0,0.053877037463042385,0.0,0.0,0.09328612860490597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024240695764953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032252010440084,0.0,0.07614719332352765,0.0,0.0,0.1521578502397575,0.0929412165060377,0.07992803281317729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.482801261256284,0.0,0.14476315872592388,0.08294473670684556,0.0,0.0,0.13154055487370986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900328960834028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647269103656885,0.0,0.08311957845889889,0.0,0.08696942680206855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390594449239019,0.0,0.0,0.3636997320755648,0.0,0.052821934249646416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833690206278623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689619084806819,0.0,0.06377694669376761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724472178382036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560044318830065
mentalhealth,PAP3R_TOW3L,2018/02/06,"I cry every time I talk about my feelings For some reason, I've only do this with my immediate family and my boyfriend. Since I was young I've always just started bawling any time I'm in an argument with them and also anytime I talk about my feelings with them. I've always done it and I've never questioned it until lately, but it almost makes me feel more comfortable to open up. I can't control it and I really hate that I do this because I feel perceived as super emotional and as if I'm only thinking with my heart. 
What do you guys normally do when you get a huge lump in your throats and feel like bawling?
Do any of you guys have this problem?",4.1866086235489215,4.897684410447759,5.450995024875624,82.50038971807629,70.56716417910448,8.045107794361526,29.067993366500826,8.167268648758528,1.9507655058043116,517,19,103,7,9,173,80,134,0.095,0.764,0.14,0.7484,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,2,2,5,5,1,0,2,0,9,3,2,3,1,30,21,13,0,3,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,11,0,1,9,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,5,20,3,15,19,2,13,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,4,9,69,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546378265292082,0.0,0.0,0.12415603107494225,0.2583664135531801,0.0,0.0,0.21115517510768986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464098832251444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412980988310695,0.0,0.0,0.17053849172389682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887805832688298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746390985491499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080762566693016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635902134764855,0.0,0.3925037398046864,0.11091300922752692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111345653486869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30745040912086696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328052014846322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839759423289563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513251742182756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584893437953563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363280264024707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974093835530253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211529897434312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23615430530855114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855646839120001,0.0,0.0,0.1739192598246568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945925801815557,0.15962627957259273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284271580563593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988910531983156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495734898471361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948006434058976,0.0,0.0,0.18105892925733952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BubbleNeon,2018/02/06,"Can't Do Anything And Feeling Depressed So I'm only a senior in High School, but I've somehow messed up my back enough to get 2 herniated discs in my lower back.

Usually when I'm sad I'm able to walk around the neighborhood, sit outside with my dogs, long board or something to distract me, and that's just not possible right now.

Everything causes me immense pain even though I'm on painkillers, and I have had depression before, and I feel so hopeless not being able to do any of the things I still care about. I can feel the depression just digging away at me.

It scares me how much time I lie in bed, just wanting to stop. Not necessarily kill myself, just not *be* anymore.

I think my family knows its affecting me physically, but I can't put anymore pressure on them, to let them know its dragging me down mentally and emotionally. They just don't need that right now.

I know this isn't healthy, but I honestly don't see any hope for myself, especially because it's pretty much permanent back damage.

I feel myself falling apart inside, and I don't know if I even want to be here if this is going to be the rest of my life. Why would I even want to be here if I can't do anything?

I'm an active person who already struggled with being happy, but now I'm confined to a bed, and painkillers that make me feel weird, and no promise that I'll ever stop hurting.

(Yes I am seeing a doctor about my back. Things are complicated.)

TL;DR

hurt my back and now I sit in bed all day wanting to stop existing, especially because the pain may never go away.",5.2944108658743625,5.563775361290325,6.113157894736844,80.29447368421054,67.96774193548387,8.977928692699493,31.15449915110357,8.841846274778883,2.3897419354838707,1222,46,244,19,19,403,163,310,0.233,0.6759999999999999,0.091,-0.9943,1,0,1,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,3,0,30,22,1,4,9,1,25,4,0,4,3,59,54,22,1,10,17,0,5,0,0,2,4,0,3,1,13,12,0,4,10,0,0,5,13,17,0,0,1,7,36,5,30,44,5,44,0,8,2,0,5,16,0,7,21,168,49,3,0.18270626041740676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081045082479144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424652234846925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811955156973645,0.0,0.0,0.15035168474123128,0.08132365387406475,0.0,0.0,0.17165854598446634,0.3512245911914526,0.0,0.11137604053225283,0.0,0.07773478533163727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931406046147444,0.09384482910219713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891521152871239,0.0,0.2360469515631097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350379973217908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027599756896191,0.0,0.09439220373657747,0.0,0.18101364279287427,0.08263413633917921,0.0,0.0,0.08210230294774241,0.0,0.08611960094038185,0.0,0.23095443743980826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772824007264469,0.0,0.10383617826263583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972471058117185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651959770038347,0.0,0.0907342708878498,0.0,0.0,0.1955908305975926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106870348364733,0.0,0.20082116508781192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934147650023338,0.064525417499431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084464551934271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060978923782991114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920624687648389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431012385855506,0.06773718851844374,0.0704571657587897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947817205342452,0.19441234283328224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976602964374545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298692825027446,0.0,0.09293897546539368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183512776361788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560301481064188,0.0,0.0,0.09146042002132887,0.0924542448820637,0.14559323449339406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032810274479323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295472779031949,0.22912592213060365,0.0,0.09550212658521204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138192095572152,0.058535397160010764,0.08975398660487484,0.0,0.053268744867107656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006125666518642,0.0,0.21552977230032996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243199094290657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489464265091155,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chriserie,2018/02/06,"Is my new therapist a dingus? (Trying to threaten me to stay with her) I've filtered through about 4 therapists in my life and really wanted to give it a good try because I've had an eating disorder for 6 years and want to fucking blow my brains out. I really, REALLY want to force myself to like this person, I find her on Blue Cross' website under CBT therapists. So, I go to see this lady whose website says she does CBT, which would work well cause I have OCD. I get in there for my first appointment and she makes me watch her do the paperwork for 35 minutes. She has me tell her my life story while doing so but says ""she is listening."" Then she says we only have 10 minutes left-- but oh! not to worry. She can charge me for another session right fucking now. I'm suicidal and desperate so I say okay.

We talk, I feel marginally okay, she tells me she can truly help me and she thinks I can fix this in 4 months. Then she tells me to lie down and I'm like... okay... gonna keep an open mind?? Then she plays this thing online that's a creepy old man's voice saying ""you're on a beach, just relaxxxx"" and I am struggling not to laugh. I practically fall asleep cause it's really dark in the room and I was running on 4 hours sleep, so she assumes I am meditating. She then told me she is an ""energy healer"" and hummed while ""sending her energy to me."" She explains her expertise is ""hypnosis"" and it's backed by UCLA and other research centers. I tell her I *want CBT,* please. She says she's studied that but if I ACTUALLY want to heal I need to be hypnotized (I am opposed), she then says she wants to see me in 2 days. Mind you, she has a PHD and went to Harvard and Pepperdine...had a 5 star review...

I come back in 2 days (today) and she has this weirdness about her. Like she's judging me. She asks how my week is going and I said I was struggling with binge eating disorder. She says okay, well can you eat veggies? I say yes, I last night binged a 2 lb bag of carrots. She literally told me ""that's so weird and wrong, you are in severe condition."" Those were her words. And she didn't offer me any kind of help afterwards, she just let me sit with her harsh words. I felt like crying. 

Then she pulls out her phone and says ""I have a friend who can help you better than I can with eating disorders,"" and she calls THE WEIRD OLD MAN FROM THE TAPE SHE PLAYED. She told me for $250 he can talk to me over the phone 2x a day and that would help me stop binging. I told her that is not something I wanna do, I can hardly afford her and I am unemployed and depressed about it. She says basically I don't wanna be helped then, and keeps forcing the guy on me. She makes me take his number and read it back to her, being a total bitch about it as if I didn't actually take it down. Mind you, I am being super polite to her. Then she goes on her computer to look up stuff about my insurance for another 25 minutes, then our time is up.

When I said this might not be a good fit for me again at the end of our session, right after paying her, she told me, very creepily, that ""I shouldn't let you leave if you have thoughts of suicide, then."" Like she's blackmailing me to stay in therapy with her. I told her I was going to find someone for CBT next week, and she said ""I think I'm going to have to think about that,"" as if it is HER CHOICE for me to see what I need. I am not in immediate danger, I literally just had suicide ideation like EVERY OTHER DEPRESSED MILLENNIAL ON EARTH, but coupled with an ED! And that all sat very wrong with me. I feel raped. Honestly, thats the only way to describe it. I lost my job three months ago to a kid who was an asshole to me in college (other reason I need therapy asap) and I can't find the money right now. This therapist just TOOK my fucking money and made me cry for the rest of the day. I feel sick to my stomach and my tears are burning for some reason right now. I don't know what to do. She scheduled me for the next 3 months and was really forceful about it and I just wanna fucking die because this is my 4th therapist and I feel so hopeless and trapped.",2.3274393286847115,3.778777604952829,3.7860623461853997,89.80796691277006,76.01650943396227,7.03858353841947,23.020987147935468,7.7425588080867325,0.8915147115121691,3171,91,702,45,69,1048,338,848,0.139,0.7509999999999999,0.11,-0.9922,4,1,1,0,0,3,121.0,4,7,0,5,30,40,7,2,29,5,61,18,4,8,2,115,122,63,4,19,18,0,6,6,1,5,5,16,1,5,39,46,4,4,17,4,3,12,11,18,2,2,26,28,158,22,95,84,4,97,0,4,6,5,120,34,5,7,53,469,197,12,0.0,0.0,0.09105976508553312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041358053001143966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03172792850818707,0.09784653470458972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361740366931055,0.0,0.0,0.10762759561239596,0.0,0.05688257481559685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04126376386466756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208393417189023,0.04764136574983143,0.0,0.0,0.09585787907259613,0.0,0.04019032770875912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162438109412475,0.10249965354721344,0.12035798405270925,0.0,0.08037011861268255,0.0,0.04842194138011509,0.0,0.1604167112120212,0.0,0.04082929992926322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096443904411647,0.0,0.0,0.04132369155938348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03931000027225865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436344121326247,0.0,0.04479742765032912,0.0,0.12792921866168858,0.03968588072648034,0.0,0.0,0.03604659230967003,0.17253223266589074,0.02437602534418328,0.04475703723679479,0.1060635510180416,0.07826629170160045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619713722585662,0.0,0.0,0.04179493931400807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636389186576133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594712188546597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629924364114511,0.08294064291298588,0.0,0.04858542507482008,0.025641118352458383,0.038031165088469966,0.0,0.04940235450003877,0.05069227771549823,0.09541858973856933,0.06590954160120499,0.1367636611049901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03917959637982868,0.0,0.05093093447512333,0.0,0.0,0.04414738121390566,0.06228697263225305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04949503083425401,0.14132888699795518,0.0,0.11172199763070374,0.0,0.0,0.10378531168692713,0.0,0.045061008609731015,0.09923914819488286,0.04378383850634514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979160144579146,0.0,0.0,0.07096853687728938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073853880305193,0.0,0.05121467876133616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04666899145342827,0.0,0.14944631246986895,0.09594102884239772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937712511124585,0.13314266359550492,0.4081331601297656,0.0,0.0,0.11153724823765344,0.0,0.0,0.05270841289700009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669006024753016,0.0,0.03953178714885838,0.03591834964595651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945895575897604,0.0,0.0390068107572096,0.0,0.0975507269709194,0.05341037614947903,0.15310347392427706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015956091707468,0.07500123868022887,0.16311887991193616,0.0,0.10671124036271358,0.2708581823773028,0.030996416136849687,0.08968654548329283,0.0,0.037039942702556616,0.0272057019692555,0.0,0.04422477918258634,0.2674929403480813,0.05183693886780728,0.06335321924677945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699277570395395,0.16511479945695934,0.037033651320989,0.07484984439663656,0.0,0.0838993517182721,0.04325091832120191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0339663898156292,0.04738180399863598,0.0,0.066286686940589,0.10202282304178194,0.0,0.030045169743387726
mentalhealth,SnakesCatsAndDogs,2018/02/06,"Reoccurring nightmare theme is starting to bleed into and affect normal life Kind of a weird scenario and I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't even know what I'm looking for as far as responses go. 

Basically I have been have nightmares/hypnopompic hallucinations for years. Somewhere in the last 2 years or so, regardless of the dreams topic, this creepy grudge looking girl always shows up and it causes me to wake up freaking out. Other than messing up my sleep it hasn't been a huge deal. 

However, the last 6 months I've begun getting paranoid of dark corners in my house. My brain keeps going into flight mode trying to convince me somethings there. I know theres not because my dog knows theres not. (Weird reasoning but it helps). It is a huge, constant source of anxiety for me. I sleep with the tv on if my Fiance goes out of town with the dog in my bed. I don't know how to get past this anxiety. I honestly feel like I'm going to die when this happens. 

Is this a normal thing for people?
Am I just a typical afraid-of-the-dark type?
Am I going insane? 
Am I just an idiot? ",2.832543859649121,4.789356796296296,4.085350877192983,86.02105263157895,75.94444444444444,6.584405458089669,24.794346978557506,7.475848149327749,1.209225925925926,852,29,168,11,19,279,126,216,0.136,0.805,0.058,-0.9375,1,0,1,1,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,9,10,1,0,11,0,13,6,4,4,0,30,34,11,1,4,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,11,9,0,1,7,3,0,5,5,5,0,0,2,4,19,5,30,32,0,31,0,0,2,0,3,16,0,2,12,101,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148714086495311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21122080030590626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415601312167728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541131449062439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181877236045273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491865779411112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232689514565866,0.0,0.0,0.14327753437225607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118290567870303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396077976901372,0.19725061678579225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442543074303273,0.0,0.3922943722283195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208008133258895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253422003677253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929497812063714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270812029753138,0.0,0.14376127252937626,0.3034819432164378,0.22506373796148074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751113176251427,0.13489174257473238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318600125069451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019283062893874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705258540383884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178750030079656,0.0957087788797445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194178987752493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763060100975369,0.0,0.0,0.10628017855778532,0.0,0.0,0.09771483955461953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917164812455869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372913176867284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780360381817764
mentalhealth,silverlinin,2018/02/06,"Why do psychologist need to know even the most specific details of your life like whst movies, games you play, where you go? We are here for help, not bonding time. Is it even relevant? It's annoying when they ask stuff about your life.

I try to let it only be a patient/psychologist relationship. I dont tell them these specifics in case they find something in common.

A friend once told me that I dont need to tell them EVERYTHING. Only what you need to. ",3.184185393258428,5.3233321797752815,3.7307724719101145,88.1296418539326,75.51685393258427,7.596067415730338,24.608146067415728,8.472884824447931,1.500156179775281,360,12,75,7,8,113,65,89,0.03,0.8440000000000001,0.126,0.8156,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,5,4,0,6,4,1,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,0,8,14,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,14,3,9,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,18,3,0,1,4,47,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659288579197471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160330820903439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344604720048687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951624754473082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622223192377918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712805877188586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087145500890524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896756713847165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097543666658042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149518641309773,0.2507323692812289,0.08671247477315762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948189664753837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902067836193384,0.0,0.2699777446994065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19055745414939426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366401994098775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318317850227144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102675442827862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349563882546738,0.0,0.0,0.16959896111675854,0.0,0.12050381763729147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015679707819036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whoissylvia,2018/02/06,"Sleep issues affecting new job I have a problem where my anxiety often keeps me from falling asleep, and the meds I'm on make me almost coma-like when I finally do. I just started a new job, was up all night nervous about it, and then, after I finally managed to fall asleep around 5, completely slept through my alarms. By the time I actually woke up, work had already (albeit barely) started. I was COMPLETELY mortified. I called my new boss and managed to get out to door and to the office in record time, and luckily she was completely cool and nice about it.


Regardless, I do NOT want this to happen again, and I feel like it's inevitable that it will, and that thought terrifies me—I WANT TO KEEP MY NEW JOB. I've talked to my doctor about the meds I'm on and how I have trouble waking up in the morning because of them, but because they're working so well otherwise (better than anything else we've tried), she seems willing to look the other way. I'm going to talk to her again at my next appointment.


In the meantime, does anyone have any tips on forcing yourself to get up in the morning?? And to a lesser extent, falling asleep at night? I think the falling-asleep thing will normalize eventually, but as far as waking up goes, when left to my own devices on the weekends I could literally sleep all day. Literally all day. To put this in perspective, before I was on any meds at all I would naturally wake up between 7 and 8 am, no matter the day of the week and despite my crippling depression and anxiety.


Please, any tips on waking up are welcome. I really don't know what to do and I really don't want to let my new company down. Thank you!!",5.931155957378111,5.922042564417179,6.665996125282532,77.83077978689055,66.60736196319019,9.930642557313533,33.415563448498546,9.682069395223575,3.0585852760736203,1300,53,252,25,19,430,171,326,0.065,0.843,0.092,0.9244,3,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,1,3,14,12,0,2,15,1,21,11,10,4,4,46,45,23,0,8,4,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,11,16,0,2,5,1,0,5,4,5,1,0,8,3,32,7,53,31,6,58,0,1,1,0,9,27,0,3,26,166,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.08755980991003562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984780977350379,0.0,0.09901507238138514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18305064062530216,0.0,0.13728056639206318,0.0,0.0,0.0627386322874916,0.0,0.07383700214370613,0.07987532452021341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939249477238824,0.0,0.07635037174410357,0.0,0.0,0.0793555159464584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162046321976412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822285823249734,0.0,0.0,0.0716390547791761,0.0,0.0,0.17359789246509824,0.0,0.07728102858121164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183854870867657,0.07851998601595532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495471116547248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045368253296772236,0.06410040193560466,0.0,0.19658129193214366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375645296225303,0.0,0.05099345664245802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934456590570127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365082181018393,0.2671181702515387,0.1595055054327383,0.0,0.0,0.04931116276685128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974877586496417,0.09175109963818873,0.0,0.043835679998022035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753473942777553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059892922834018314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989966807185986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332905256801903,0.09542481186302006,0.16840388609156862,0.08791260712084352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849240293413787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858558378348148,0.0,0.09019959486613263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149617787774982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168334568636636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958196119314834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701730605641162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423701171839248,0.0,0.08260781276019001,0.0,0.0,0.05961008799628687,0.05749291407043543,0.0,0.07123256553688884,0.10464011589133997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091818740391323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587684795826681,0.07122046640235638,0.07197293053643587,0.0,0.08067461277905535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306434574169208,0.0,0.0,0.06373890491187001,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwwwwwaway060218,2018/02/06,"Feel at the imminent risk of schizophrenia, would appreciate advice I've been living with what I assumed could very well be schiz prodrome for about four years and have been feeling very weird and depersonalised recently. My parents know about these negative symptoms as I'm living at home due to reduced capacity to function!

Now, I've always been an atheist and am a very skeptical, evidence-focussed person. I've just woke up and instantly, without too much resistance, assumed that, for some reason unbeknownst to me, 'the government' could be partially controlling my mind. Not in terms of spin or anything reasonable; no, literally beaming things into my mind. Shaking at how scared I am. Feels like my reality testing/theory of mind is impaired.

So, question: should I check myself in somewhere? That in itself will scare the bejesus out of me but it's for the best if I'm imminently about to embark into paranoia. Thanks lads.",7.057845528455285,9.067246573170737,7.080243902439027,68.64260162601627,64.97560975609754,10.34471544715447,37.44715447154472,10.504223727775694,4.6010422764227625,754,39,113,20,12,241,117,164,0.1,0.805,0.095,0.5853,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,9,10,1,4,6,0,14,1,0,4,0,33,22,10,0,5,6,1,3,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,7,8,0,1,9,0,1,1,4,6,1,1,4,3,10,4,27,11,4,16,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,6,6,84,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098133237588653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004620515592472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872390320932702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514049966916396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181377907068398,0.2303795646810553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884540095624727,0.10306824077540623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471699363465054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928834521310604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048421357994991,0.0,0.2547903679944817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370220294936378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605682385574863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019744130484428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597310630892225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161812101153694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966721384922457,0.14245160282379932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888837081615723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995427817457882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282665441084682,0.0,0.0,0.09584818061541366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571195508138817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971822583464593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907345789550896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102486982918095,0.0,0.0,0.0929067039063721
mentalhealth,SatanAssWiper,2018/02/06,"I don't feel anything anymore...What is going on? I have noticed that I've become extremely apathetic to things. I have trouble discerning between happiness and sadness; it is almost as if I have lost the ability to feel. Events that often evoked emotions in me before (ex. parties, funerals, etc.) all seem like ""nothing"" to me now. I even lost the feeling for hunger, yet I can still eat normally but for some reason I do not feel full or satisfied. I would like think my sudden change in mental state is due to my high stress environment, but at this point I'm not sure anymore. Should I seek professional help? ",4.74088888888889,6.579043939130436,5.502898550724641,78.36816425120776,70.47826086956522,8.589371980676331,31.038647342995173,9.150863307647796,2.8670966183574884,483,21,86,10,9,157,84,115,0.149,0.691,0.16,0.522,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,0,1,2,0,11,2,0,1,2,23,21,6,1,4,6,1,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,2,0,8,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,4,13,4,12,17,4,15,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,6,8,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244480742273538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170787400749125,0.0,0.0,0.1417152810674125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901939240672818,0.1465391887154152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217679108410287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762152202922222,0.0,0.19371460801917167,0.0,0.0,0.19206119539165054,0.11374398324647292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34830096460180743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787168805445393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332220163437632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542964874003125,0.1819507635071068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826754963887364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375978098672046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354855263808314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873057499343935,0.1652414504866294,0.1960637818890547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627954047424762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706196627132118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567747600307571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752821954467218,0.0,0.1972675382021089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623071746562798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144095796089558,0.11034608990515274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233401360112905,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aaromrls,2018/02/06,Need advice about rage issues If something sets me off I cant concentrate on anything else. Its already ruined 99% of my relationships. I quit drinking a year ago with hopes i would get better. But it hasn't. It gets so i cant think straight and i hyperfocus on whatever triggered me. It is affecting my sleep and my abilty to foucus on schoolwork. I wish i could just let stuff go. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. ,2.2159259259259265,5.0095291728395095,3.5936913580246888,83.72461111111113,84.43209876543209,6.202962962962962,25.38395061728395,7.554174236665415,1.6514187654320982,337,14,62,6,10,110,63,81,0.103,0.753,0.14300000000000002,0.5209,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,1,0,1,0,9,2,1,2,0,15,16,5,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,12,3,8,11,0,9,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,2,2,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855427916736212,0.17486925410311582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176939709022517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415136327404467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623376099172892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744705827496747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575052154331881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19325093705024166,0.0,0.0,0.1647949985694368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20613240037281605,0.0,0.11211392164386758,0.0,0.0,0.2174924903974461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19593507979471392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059001603270144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20172344204275414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462742942392246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098224893233927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179573033098392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741393554694908,0.0,0.0,0.15186921422605645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582863459186306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640359151106387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268524530756015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28027198238628226,0.0,0.0,0.12703635788373285
mentalhealth,tiestes,2018/02/06,"Is chronic dissociation a thing? So I watched a youtubers video on having chronic dissociation disorder and I really resonated with a lot of tbe symptoms. HOWEVER, relating to symptoms of mental disorders and believing I have them is something I do all the time. It's sort of like astrology. If you look for certain traits or behaviours in yourself, you're probably going to find examples of those being true.
I do think I have a ""foggy"" perception of reality. I never truly feel awake or energized. It's common for me to suddenly realize I was on ""auto pilot"" for the whole day. I'm stunned for a while and finally feel like myself. But it goes away pretty quickly and I'm back to being unaware.
I also have a very bad memory, my friends notice it in conversation all the time.
I don't even know if chronic dissociation is a diagnosis, but it's a symptom I hadn't thought much about until I learned more about it, and now I think I might fit the criteria. What do you think?",4.768624904507256,6.352471962566849,6.846023682200153,69.77054812834226,70.01604278074865,10.476546982429337,34.21275783040489,10.608840637214634,4.186014820473644,775,39,135,24,14,273,112,187,0.051,0.851,0.098,0.7916,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,0,8,7,0,0,12,0,16,6,0,0,5,31,27,15,0,2,6,0,2,2,1,1,6,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,11,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,4,20,6,22,21,6,19,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,7,14,104,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220820486584692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342897990420242,0.11738602245045032,0.127464620871504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199540462227952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984529915704656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499228902516319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083040913432503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437884167718965,0.10906024678896964,0.0,0.16723143353884054,0.13952836211236472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794464245109855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676012627246928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389787611950521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491638097230439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819584849238555,0.0,0.0,0.1297859684437111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538452502516039,0.16194800509023832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222257502742017,0.0,0.1177407084950956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380428203800816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530997734944552,0.16459316767646148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779782642680099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752503177087875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476016194564283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142043905618947,0.29345485556101913,0.0,0.12119489023904932,0.17803440413057794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596038654234168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043930111779726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,connectingdots18,2018/02/06,"A year long battle with anxiety and depression over questioning sexuality. Determined to get better, any advice/inspiration you can share? Hey folks,

I have posted this in the depression forum and thought I'd also post on here to see to increase diverse feedback as yes I am very depressed but I am also not sure if I am dealing with another mental health issue or if this is normal form of questioning sexuality though the past year has been very, very, very rough and I don't think this is all normal. I am determined to battle this issue full on and move on and just need a point of direction via objective feedback.

So I am mid 20 year old woman who has had a long history of here and there anxiety, some of which was physically debilitating, it got that bad at one point. I have not ever been diagnosed with a mental health issue as I was always able to handle it, this last year has been very different in a hard way.

So my current issue started when I naturally questioned my sexuality last year. Some past fantasies made me question if I was attracted to celebrity women simply for actively and intentionally fantasizing about being with them romantically. I knew I was not attracted to these celebrity women that I actively fantasized about in real life but I got confused how I could get attracted to them in fantasy if I was not attracted to them in real life? Believe it or not this one question got me going round in circles trying to find an answer for a whole year. Just when I thought I finally researched enough about sexuality, a thought would enter my head ""you cant live life because you are not 100% sure, are you sure the attraction you felt in fantasy but not in real life doesn't define your sexuality?, How can you be sure? You can't continue living life until you have all the answers"". I tried to ignore those thoughts but it kept coming back up to the point that I sought clarity online, asking forum users""does attraction you feel in fantasy that does not crossover to any real life attraction mean it is attraction?"". When someone asked me if I had internalized homophobia I explained that I honestly have nothing but love for the LGBT community and this had nothing to do with any real life desires for women because there was none. When someone told me why I was still a virgin if I preferred men romantically, I responded that I was asexual. I ended up having to clarify why I was having a hard time and yet I didnt know why, all I knew was that it had nothing to do with a problem with being bisexual or a lesbian. Is it mental illness? Is it a normal process of questioning sexuality? I have no idea. I've tried ignoring the repeated overnalaysing and the question that keeps ringing in my head but to no avail. I go by weeks feeling good but then after a huge crash. The  question creeps back in and takes over weeks and months. Its an endless cycle of misery and small moments of peace and then misery again.

I have spent a year not being able to hold down a job, not engaging in any of the exercises I used to, not living life and I am not even sure if I am suffering from a mental illness either. Its been rough and I am still in it. I am still sitting here noticing that if I dont end this back and forth with that one question regarding attraction and fantasies, it will take another year of my life. I am pretty sure those close to me think something is up with me due to unemployment. I am surving on savings but not sure what I will do when they run out. I dont want to wait for that. I want to get better.

Does anyone have any tips? Any feedback. I am really hoping for something, anything to help me get out of my own head. I cant afford a counsellor so its either I seek help online or I read some books. I dont even know whats wrong with me though?

If you have read my story and respond, thank you. I am not losing hope.",4.787764444444441,6.1292621320000045,6.032,76.55377777777778,69.68,9.075555555555557,30.155555555555555,9.444778638647367,2.792048888888889,3069,122,566,66,54,1030,294,750,0.139,0.735,0.126,-0.4337,6,0,2,0,0,0,63.0,0,12,4,3,35,40,2,1,29,1,74,21,3,5,11,145,119,59,0,22,39,0,8,0,0,3,15,1,0,5,39,33,0,6,29,9,1,7,26,13,0,3,33,10,83,27,85,78,15,91,0,5,2,3,43,34,0,28,46,417,122,9,0.08643196953613183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911961481103411,0.03595916128738988,0.0,0.0,0.1763301094892877,0.09063145620088654,0.06612022012043686,0.0,0.0,0.030217621371526664,0.0,0.035563073223576644,0.0,0.08080222405803969,0.0,0.0,0.09969127416930422,0.036083542148445336,0.05268812639668878,0.0,0.0,0.04868961590748663,0.0,0.07644205323520607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037226744272884485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03450444732061519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04455378268835269,0.11166559306719707,0.04386331485025406,0.0,0.04515150602914456,0.0,0.0,0.07563719899583328,0.0,0.15194643687693996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655307064129539,0.044653664626321365,0.0,0.057087500719296275,0.03909133238453633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0437026007875758,0.0,0.04149412254875432,0.047340998932769086,0.039498627154435834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031427346928486,0.0,0.049121280112903315,0.03624751765494399,0.10369131262308832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742606773540753,0.0,0.13305620455182918,0.09187314187579954,0.0,0.0,0.05793352727234464,0.0,0.0,0.08584644794705254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048785586535401236,0.0,0.18042504093011,0.04288519654646274,0.03841235291641374,0.0,0.0,0.0475007500657777,0.07045359109325046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274722552811721,0.0,0.0,0.11448151891123905,0.07648957318401214,0.0,0.048347632734675225,0.0,0.0,0.039004113517875416,0.04089200970634119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047074876612485314,0.0,0.0,0.17420619255245953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034494586737325764,0.045931752559324135,0.0,0.0320441051177662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702746835099868,0.12440070877954144,0.049201685092061485,0.045347906302968914,0.0,0.08785280915195419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250909490344496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255922273966635,0.0,0.08277793481249159,0.04396619293609548,0.0,0.04135186097681113,0.0,0.0,0.4357061404467673,0.0,0.0864553592545885,0.2459462592459248,0.02768526645095709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03443754466773883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323352730562194,0.06653955283289023,0.0,0.0,0.03058849645028995,0.0,0.1035370237804222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851138794261123,0.0,0.06498608449984297,0.0,0.0,0.03978747252376854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538211610878569,0.08491897123017078,0.137234658534009,0.02519958825200269,0.0,0.0,0.04129472542622794,0.0,0.08802245065731984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03732473535460295,0.0,0.17828856688856928,0.050979815007523306,0.03430283717037634,0.0693305124658516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698711331023234,0.04824910366175584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030699395652057093,0.047249895184935616,0.0,0.22263741839133852
mentalhealth,lacrima-,2018/02/06,"After being on medication for Anxiety I feel more depressed than ever I have been on Wellbutrin (300mg) for depression for about 5 years, was on Fluoxetine due to depression previously but went off of it because I didn't feel it was doing anything and I just felt numb. I struggle a lot with anxiety. I white knuckled it for about 3 years, trying to deal with anxiety in other ways (exercise, meditation, etc.) I also have ADHD so stimulant drugs often can trigger anxious and repetitive thoughts. Anyway, I've been on zoloft 75mg for about 2 1/2 months and it was great at the beginning, I felt confident and happy and was not so on edge all the time. I am finding now that I am really agitated all the time now, I'm always tired, I would rather be sleeping than anything else and could sleep all day if it was socially acceptable. I just don't like being awake. I'm almost on the opposite end of the spectrum, I used to care so much I was almost frozen with anxiety all the time, but now I'm so apathetic I'd rather not even exist. It feels like the things I do I do because I have to, I find no enjoyment in anything and don't even feel connected to my brain anymore. I have been having random periods of dissociation in places that are otherwise non-threatening (the grocery store, while I'm cooking for example). I know I need to speak to my doctor about this but has anyone experienced anything like this? I want to say I am suicidal but I don't even have the energy to kill myself, and when I am anxious I still want to die I just am too scared of the possibility of death to do anything. I feel really trapped. I have tried accessing counseling services at my school but they don't really have great resources to just talk to someone.

Tl;Dr
I feel depressed and want to die after being briefly okay on zoloft but i lack any energy to do anything and when I'm off medication I feel the same way except Im too anxious to commit to anything. I don't even know what I'm asking. I feel like i'm losing my mind.
",3.814512903225804,5.366787290000005,5.4607580645161296,78.89372580645164,72.35,8.961290322580645,28.653225806451612,9.454032385205345,2.6537193548387097,1596,63,307,38,31,543,186,400,0.233,0.6609999999999999,0.106,-0.9954,0,1,1,0,0,3,39.0,0,0,1,1,30,20,1,2,12,1,42,13,3,3,6,68,71,25,5,10,16,0,10,4,0,1,9,2,0,0,13,13,1,0,16,2,1,1,9,9,0,0,14,14,40,11,54,51,10,40,0,5,1,0,7,15,0,6,26,218,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932823730427791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885821961924264,0.0,0.0,0.05944035782941255,0.061847144837583766,0.0,0.0,0.05054582953911162,0.0,0.22744394941800974,0.2519096498419125,0.07371375453071785,0.05197211332811177,0.0,0.4281613150164367,0.0,0.06948697738772004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061974939942934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297502491217956,0.0,0.0,0.07578271061499317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934514250551268,0.0,0.0,0.04793563929039322,0.07662926921365892,0.2560756094988414,0.0,0.15428219300989618,0.0,0.0,0.07607821986786069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619729293446811,0.0,0.062091802150179926,0.0,0.06583285980830562,0.0,0.08289576250869256,0.19637270720438774,0.06723425155993222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006611927443532,0.1062003818798249,0.14273375214016482,0.0,0.13586953794513432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389454534590106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912391494942529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028737711568165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223331102492454,0.0,0.08169783899387664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525231715172485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315441565497113,0.0,0.06319130855276528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975599380518828,0.0,0.0,0.07505044889507659,0.0,0.05932818301866561,0.0,0.05463989251056196,0.05511353267030268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765730993283229,0.0,0.0,0.08379405108008202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284994055130204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059108890412246075,0.07441564902730811,0.07522426243640694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876406607090914,0.07576839649954263,0.06297817312866902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059358719507970364,0.0,0.0,0.07770413400320435,0.0,0.08130315528189856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059742315426846174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049380455644064236,0.0,0.0,0.0590084105080728,0.13002438282805218,0.08542950876562387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092814663192946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419583301877871,0.0,0.0,0.13152236688856794,0.11799677538976942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890312880998192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280073008779791,0.0,0.0,0.09573004603380114
mentalhealth,AustinLosten,2018/02/06,I feel like i'm at a dead end...help The past few years my anxiety and depression seems to never go away. I can't be in public without feeling like i'm in someones way or i'm an inconvenience to everyone around me. The thought of following through with a plan makes me so overwhelmed that I want to crawl into a rock and never come out. I'm slowly getting to the point where I want nothing to do with anyone or anything. There is so much hatred and negativity in this world that I no longer want to be apart of it. On my days off it's near impossible to get out of bed on my own will. I smoke weed to make me forget about what's going on around me. It makes me zone out and lose touch. Life is overwhelming. Does anyone else feel this way?,2.1560545905707187,3.719705290322583,3.6767741935483897,89.93823821339953,76.74193548387096,6.833746898263028,22.89081885856079,7.61054688173877,0.7971836228287841,580,17,130,8,13,192,96,155,0.174,0.7559999999999999,0.07,-0.9574,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,2,7,0,7,1,0,3,2,30,28,8,1,3,3,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,8,13,0,0,5,1,0,4,6,4,0,0,1,4,14,2,32,24,3,31,0,4,0,0,1,20,0,3,7,85,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179156421434084,0.0,0.0,0.21555465009522146,0.15793325788779375,0.1268429720322409,0.2744321481109108,0.0,0.0,0.14481833166603528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277679499100326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994066749710413,0.0,0.1327593897687111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488776766436933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876305992952802,0.0,0.13652108940768615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728608153149111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338113919985833,0.22023335872030292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106216118833688,0.0,0.17520108907287044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331588517866604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887268395210094,0.15060871299139894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724417175151181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086662289394742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133096400852342,0.0,0.2377624519790249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790018779041994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471427785704543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457108422972715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403220340965428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306011743902251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122368867313914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727449006679696,0.2446961649503341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858415410386566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926023426323673
mentalhealth,pantygate,2018/02/06,"Why am I using the wrong words? I’ve noticed in the past 6 months or so that I have been accidentally using words that *sound* like the word I want to use but are completely different.

Examples: “I will get a whole of her” instead of “I will get a hold of her” 

“Quite about more difficult” instead of “quite a bit more difficult” 

I am 28 years old and otherwise healthy.  Should I be worried?",1.2595959595959627,3.7258145844155877,2.9180952380952405,89.37968253968252,84.97402597402598,7.058585858585857,24.139971139971138,8.167268648758528,1.6179564213564217,301,12,64,7,9,99,52,77,0.192,0.726,0.08199999999999999,-0.8635,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,3,0,12,15,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,9,1,7,10,4,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21857692970531015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991586073917126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091763241822367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920240991850952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781225298374856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980531974374632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22793985264824104,0.21008620052878524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19112263024366855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258949135814094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5187502009907068,0.0,0.0,0.11808875548781098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065794101551955,0.2235267665831389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332247449780527,0.0,0.0,0.2188976683612972,0.0,0.1289283594839074
mentalhealth,WhoIsOryx,2018/02/06,"I’ve been locked in an extremely strange state of mind a few times and would be appreciative if anyone could provide more information about it. I wasn’t sure where to post about this, but I’m at a loss for figuring out what is happening. If this post is not appropriate for this community, I will remove it. 

Every once in a while, usually after experiencing intense negative emotions, I get locked into a state where I find it incredibly difficult or impossible to interact with the world around me. I can’t think. I often can’t speak. I can’t follow any external stimuli. It feels like I’ve shut down and can’t be a person anymore. I just stare into space, not truly able to continue any line of thought. If people talk to me while I’m in this state, I either can’t respond, can respond with very limited vocabulary, or cry. It truly feels like I am stuck (“locked”) into it. It sometimes comes with periods of memory loss. People will tell me about something that happened when I was like that, and I don’t remember it. Most times, it wears off on its own, and afterward I feel completely emotionally and physically drained. I have no idea what’s going on when this happens, and I’m hoping someone will know more about this. 

If anyone has any idea of what this could be, I would be very grateful for the opportunity to research it. Thank you for any replies. ",5.291609195402298,6.466583697318011,6.2504406130268215,76.07612068965518,68.3486590038314,9.784674329501918,30.975095785440608,9.994966539143718,3.070472796934866,1079,43,203,26,18,358,142,261,0.138,0.7509999999999999,0.11,-0.825,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,4,11,10,0,0,8,0,26,1,1,0,1,48,45,17,0,9,11,0,3,3,0,5,0,1,0,1,23,15,0,1,12,0,0,4,11,3,0,0,5,6,19,7,34,29,6,38,0,2,1,0,9,18,0,9,14,141,42,1,0.1208892800398681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288354235886455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988968188098345,0.169057190839281,0.0,0.0,0.1076170892512065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413541048595423,0.12675011010699966,0.0,0.0,0.19304050652317944,0.0,0.1327911976005224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719683375851938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185443234548378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337575691380875,0.17272665163060413,0.0,0.0,0.11049061186247336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315965929980029,0.0,0.0687041637412088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320705973288831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007033210044847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729385649425423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643758678211159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718118762224194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206371118033615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874313784317054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676188107995097,0.10555585641391052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315570267893977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694398832842833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024290946772387,0.0930664738905458,0.11956258909031615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393671577171248,0.0,0.0,0.09716622409150552,0.1056625591655508,0.1112986070737102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774609693543623,0.0,0.0959725848880382,0.14098302271416968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331424628550749,0.1994926331649908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717525521148656,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unassumingdan,2018/02/07,"I go from the lowest lows to perfectly fine within hours. What is this called? So I (M16) have been having a pretty rough week. I woke up very depressed today, and even contemplated suicide later in the day. I won't go into too much detail. However, about two hours ago I felt completely fine. I was just wasting time on Youtube before I fell asleep. I assure you it wasn't the content of the videos.
Does anyone know what this is called? Are they just really intense mood swings? I first thought bipolar disorder, but I don't get a manic or hypermanic. 
Any help would be greatly appreciated. And I'm fine now, not suicidal at all.",2.5309535918626804,5.122927041322317,3.838347107438018,84.12157660521298,80.2396694214876,6.698283534647173,23.357279084551806,7.882392219407189,1.429427972027972,496,17,93,9,13,162,94,121,0.094,0.698,0.208,0.9394,2,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,1,1,2,7,9,0,0,6,0,12,2,1,0,3,15,20,5,2,1,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,1,0,3,4,2,0,2,6,2,12,6,10,11,2,20,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,1,10,60,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698518948418996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043156066028565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382985452982916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069591225780812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616702570266552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568210696356502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421246626338435,0.0,0.15253278846238005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029677090565906,0.0,0.15497817041157425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169704395760788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004022573056538,0.0,0.0,0.1506380270251395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252551026573183,0.0,0.201295823252037,0.0,0.0,0.19524930206597746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870392057553078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488083752512979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732749805789648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301861615361449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017061000827694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345242814088426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874292287409428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405946847518077,0.1032662799328547,0.0,0.167866590327227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299735741580854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461229990984419,0.0,0.0,0.14205597402207387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580413431647414,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,knimnig,2018/02/07,"Understanding and changing manipulative actions and behaviour Recently, my actions have been described as manipulative. I cannot recognise them immediately, only maybe a few hours later. This means that I'm not conscious about it and it scares me.


I am currently on the waitlist for counselling which could take a while and I want to start working on it now. Would anyone have any advice on how to identify and change my own behaviour? Articles, videos, experiences, anything would help.


Thank you. ",5.478928571428572,9.02618236904762,5.666952380952381,69.39471428571429,76.5,8.598095238095237,33.4,9.120678840339163,4.009122857142858,405,21,59,11,10,128,64,84,0.029,0.8909999999999999,0.079,0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,3,2,0,1,3,0,8,0,0,3,0,16,15,8,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,8,11,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,44,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146819283072964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939910160273406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536147909810691,0.0,0.18078901686920493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.464813148002217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17540736902832613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214902381604102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725591027364945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635382622438248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22071163182306375,0.2393106076211717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708679308817204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169208097930351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199515016617057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155500177557459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518215752958051,0.0,0.0,0.20226424178982108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22870866302428594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958090794686875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993947168135556,0.0,0.0,0.3121278930829118,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LeftyBobbers,2018/02/07,"Suggestions I've struggled with depression and anxiety for over 20 years. My current meds aren't working. I'm irritable and want to punch people in the face. I don't want to do anything, even play with my kiddos. 
What meds are you on that help? ",2.504375000000003,5.00408235416667,3.641500000000004,86.05350000000004,79.625,7.173333333333334,26.266666666666666,8.238735603445708,1.9155366666666669,195,8,38,4,5,63,37,48,0.147,0.66,0.193,0.1164,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,6,7,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,8,7,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,22,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22331668757070872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402238739574005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514287894985145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280927285333213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956666718014828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6485108085584993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237938157518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051763717706887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34436193345123994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125199868407479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798580341189888
mentalhealth,toonpetals,2018/02/07,Seeking some advice Needing someone to just kinda help me wrap my head around things. I haven’t been diagnosed due to being terrified of therapy and medicine but I know I am a huge bipolar manic. And it keeps getting worse and worse and I’m not sure how to make myself get better . I can feel myself deteriorating ,3.3520000000000003,5.935842200000002,4.633333333333336,79.65500000000002,77.0,6.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.8506666666666671,252,10,44,4,6,83,49,60,0.195,0.679,0.126,-0.6946,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,2,1,17,13,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,8,2,5,11,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,1,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442455589423855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22250604350437586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210580299930616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25369119638709103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638083916910486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26117424282083285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25651798725743546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753437234304405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216459929388407,0.0,0.0,0.1373644713653184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684172957992632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853327180636629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177949296851104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355723241786355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858364623506406,0.0,0.16605384594894465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5094352006444558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tawayhrow123,2018/02/07,"Can anyone help me figure this out? I'm a 21 yo male in the US. I had an episode today that was particularly bad, although what it was I am unsure of. I've had these pretty frequently since I was 17. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what's going on to no avail. I'll describe what happened, and let me know if you've experienced or heard of anything similar.

Sometimes it's random, other times it's triggered by high anxiety or a few times by pot. It's like changing the lense at the eye doctor and suddenly when you didn't even know anything was blurry, it becomes clear. It's a sense of hyper reality and self awareness. It's coupled with my mind running faster than it ever does, processing what seems like dozens of thoughts a second. It feels like my mind used to be a flashlight in the dark illuminating my thoughts, but now the sun is out and it's overwhelming. It feels like I've been on autopilot my whole life, and I'm waking up. 

I look in the mirror and it's hard to accept that it's me. ""Humans look weird. How did we get to this point of technology, the clothes we wear and plants the we pulled and spun then made a tool to spin tighter then a machine to criss cross them into a sheet so tight you can't see the holes and then cut and dye them and stylize them into something that we wear and why?"" 
Thoughts like that but a few in what seems like and instant. I forget who I am and what pieces create me. All that exists is the moment I'm in. Then I feel the feelings I've suppressed. Anger, guilt, shame, sadness. And they're all overwhelming. I have to stop and go to a quiet room because it's too much. God forbid I interact in a social contract when I'm not in a state to remember the rules. I don't want the feeling to go away while it's there. It feels like this is the way I'm supposed to perceive the world. 

It fades, but very slowly and leaves me completely exhausted. About 20 minutes-2 hours is the first, most extreme stage.  Then 1-6 hours until I feel normal. Afterward I feel like my mind is slow and clumsy. No one I've talked to can relate. I have no idea. At first I thought panic attacks but I have no phsyical symptoms. Then a dissassociative disorder but it's more like the opposite. Does anyone have any ideas or can relate?",2.40528314807986,4.285794505399572,3.6469757151135234,89.0290823368277,76.94816414686825,6.417721118895855,23.819680767002048,7.313800181584829,0.9017758942211448,1788,58,376,22,41,582,236,463,0.139,0.778,0.083,-0.9759,0,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,5,2,3,2,10,23,3,5,32,0,27,8,4,4,4,82,61,40,0,3,10,0,10,9,0,0,4,2,1,3,35,28,0,4,23,0,1,6,8,13,0,5,16,17,35,10,43,43,10,59,0,3,4,0,19,22,0,9,37,236,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057978425488993936,0.0,0.06522220623588146,0.0,0.0,0.1192288791211888,0.0,0.1403202888281337,0.0,0.0,0.0969933867441789,0.0801027829977894,0.0,0.07118694473310151,0.051972540922695286,0.09416086309627354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019175543441846,0.0,0.08939148628650613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433645603143616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771315867444333,0.08726526880978328,0.14921985991652348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056312165002217335,0.07712082440667999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448724201365022,0.2436335889178623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450409772621374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454383363763804,0.0,0.14536241362741764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539344828194604,0.0,0.07637450311982885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714670121857359,0.0900798541113984,0.0,0.0,0.1679240913558418,0.0,0.0,0.192492014125458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937112342187025,0.0,0.0,0.09027600804831196,0.0,0.08718217443655342,0.060220311038477574,0.3748751702903454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319064724383745,0.0,0.0,0.07248338009060837,0.0,0.08067326713700085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258259102611726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626745067899015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353482715090513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057773088942870775,0.0,0.0,0.10003199987980516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805964538238144,0.0,0.0,0.08673812936077163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658079700558872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793966010655808,0.15523152791132416,0.08894278298792319,0.0,0.0,0.070526373889121,0.0,0.0,0.08690988694665888,0.0,0.0656358437676874,0.08432243202016701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127958166151924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861580126527613,0.0,0.06852722400836579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707416032587995,0.14914403542858828,0.0,0.08081470127944712,0.0,0.0,0.057884647285426916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255498589367773,0.0736356165349537,0.0,0.07034685400577992,0.05028743101930557,0.06767390418020174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693216605915915,0.095187613834056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeanWithAn_N,2018/02/07,"Eternal Struggle with Food I am an athlete, I was once at a national level, competed in open tournaments for my country. On and off all my Life Ive had problems with stuffing my fucking face and its holding me back. I work as a PE teacher in a boarding school and when I am actually working its better, because I am distracted with classes or whatever. Now im on winter holiday until the next semester starts and I snack all the time, I cant stop. I do way more exercise a day to try and even it out but I know thats not the healthiest thing to do. I have an addiction to food (more than that a food lust maybe) Like drug addicts who will borrow money for more drugs ill do the same for more food. Its disgusting

Are there any strategies or ideas anybody has to beat this? ",3.4269230769230745,4.839593743589745,4.835128205128207,83.55153846153848,73.1025641025641,8.276923076923078,30.948717948717945,8.841846274778883,2.557702564102564,608,28,122,12,12,203,107,156,0.095,0.8490000000000001,0.056,-0.7795,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,5,7,2,2,11,0,14,15,1,0,2,22,17,11,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,9,10,5,2,2,2,2,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,15,2,20,14,7,22,0,0,0,2,1,10,1,2,12,89,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.1335725021548972,0.2984329264841325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308125921584526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525019645694306,0.0,0.0834391329693812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105685057621865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827453633961606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174684297595323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040616717975307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6620503085376733,0.0,0.0,0.12654086026856676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545178134165886,0.1478509746344631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522418563611805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668048648363917,0.06687133591328283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751164761554924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455705637243853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576985964665692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097309251795106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852713735256725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688245899780512,0.0,0.0,0.11443555359557613,0.0,0.14309387550358446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093519750121164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981425564848517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293070332886837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864683136904787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992966123987074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catch22ghosts,2018/02/07,"Steady decline over the past week. Last few days things are slowing down. Heavy feeling in my mind. Can't see where I'm headed. I felt depressed after Christmas. I left my family to return to work and university. I thought the feeling would pass once I readjusted. It hasn't.

I realise I haven't cooked a single meal since I've been back. Its been over a month. I haven't done any laundry.

This past week. I've felt even lower than before. My voice, my movements, everything feels slowed down. I feel frustrated on the inside like I might snap at somebody. Whatever is inside I feel like it could bubble to the surface.

On the surface I'm still functioning. I'm attending uni and I'm working part time. I'm trying as hard as I can. But I go home and I don't eat and I don't wash my clothes and sometimes I don't even go home. I walk around. I get off at random stations and just walk for hours. Sometimes I sit in the park at night alone.

It feels like everything is falling apart and I'm still holding onto some determination to keep it together. But in the last few days it's become harder to keep things inside and I've developed bad anxiety. I've been wearing my hood up everywhere. I feel like the police have been following me and are generally messing with my head. Sometimes I feel so uncomfortable all of a sudden in public and I freak out and try to find a quiet space where I feel safe. This has started happening over the last few days. 

I don't have a care person, psychiatrist, team, nothing. I've been referred to have a psych review but it could be weeks away. I've always been a positive person. I've always tried to see the bigger picture. That good things will happen. But today I feel like life is kind of bullshit. Are the rewards even worth it. I don't know what I'm doing all this for. I don't know why my instinct is to try and hold everything together. For what. I've become unhappy and I can't find pleasure in anything. I used to see wonder everywhere and in everything. My mind was my sanctuary. Now it doesn't feel like my own mind.

I have to get my feelings out. I'm stuck everyday in the same loop. I don't know what I should do anymore. My survival instinct is trying to kick in, keep setting your alarm for work, keep studying. But my mind is working against me all the time and so much of me wants to lie on the ground and never get up.",1.234447101016137,3.6987653242677823,2.7234473998804565,90.73986924686191,85.08786610878661,5.673699940227138,22.343245666467425,7.0958314945682925,0.8227362821279138,1867,66,382,27,56,607,215,478,0.085,0.838,0.077,-0.3364,2,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,1,0,7,13,18,1,1,21,0,45,8,3,1,4,74,92,25,0,5,6,0,15,6,0,4,2,2,2,2,19,20,3,7,22,2,1,9,14,6,0,0,12,20,49,12,53,73,12,76,0,1,3,0,5,36,0,4,35,233,68,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764418272798567,0.0,0.0,0.10869067295003916,0.0,0.0,0.04441482498384838,0.0,0.0499639797147828,0.0,0.06477257443862572,0.0,0.0,0.05374672576411799,0.0581420837475561,0.0,0.0,0.0613633615876887,0.0502213774774011,0.054533314155897315,0.0,0.14426532695486854,0.05557623377141117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659057452330634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429363379957353,0.0,0.0,0.12636372074520635,0.0,0.056253668612376094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683749191335996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668311211689617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129415119431444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347951055542638,0.0,0.06157093061676426,0.0,0.39628831033950784,0.23329676342340175,0.1254207256740738,0.0,0.1193891128802226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236945338404783,0.0,0.07423734036743401,0.05478113150633857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155114780068362,0.0,0.05850728371262024,0.0,0.1340591928468948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102777722149764,0.0,0.06431977985981438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322114498006113,0.0,0.06801304884771109,0.10768233265408872,0.1597155207501528,0.0,0.0,0.0709623586735427,0.0,0.0461322388921139,0.1914506984142084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928637435331836,0.2637885327456965,0.0,0.05213191453005625,0.0,0.04801229468625218,0.0,0.05037312315684616,0.0,0.0,0.06129147460347445,0.0,0.06266922562814707,0.0,0.0,0.06955581455030724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072720871335136,0.1246965825743405,0.0,0.11405693066714845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613711933248728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402727870948118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378756988316884,0.0,0.046228612468747925,0.0,0.10431749413358968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017241867739354,0.0,0.0,0.05185092913082294,0.07616863428165023,0.0,0.06190873213916447,0.0,0.0,0.22171492729843725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640913828538829,0.0,0.0,0.03852307869301819,0.0,0.15716954566165856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893448575616375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082875627037012,0.19019347684234214,0.0,0.0,0.04639621522195675,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,primeval15429,2018/02/07,"I dont know who I am and I dont know why I think there is something wrong with me, because I have different moods and they are so drastically different from one another its like I am different people and I have no idea what my true nature is, have you got any ideas whats happening?

note: I have been diagnosed with Autism, anxiety, OCD and others that I would rather not go into",2.4206493506493523,4.417953662337666,4.024675324675325,85.79987012987014,77.31168831168831,8.555844155844158,23.98701298701299,9.23628265651192,1.9835506493506487,300,10,63,8,7,100,54,77,0.097,0.83,0.073,-0.1779,3,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,0,1,16,19,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,0,13,2,4,16,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,46,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209464940010868,0.18649492543489085,0.13605745773043004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084178563993818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051758131731868,0.0,0.5574572297402391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168860070342049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107825534235076,0.0,0.14224570898817546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727528237352034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015499564765052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954872891368581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689024725294779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051814957582115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330123849547585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692033058075762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113961355660458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048514050335866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634203935411548,0.1944549066891144,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StevieBaby19,2018/02/07,"What's wrong with me? I'm asking a question directed towards people with actual knowledge in psychology, a psychologist or psych student for example, because I need an honest answer. 
So I have this problem. I get this urge to hurt my pet and myself. I don't mean I want to kill myself and want to cut or that I want to kill my pet either, or even harm either of us. I don't really even know how to explain it. Sometimes I get the urge to yank my steering wheel while I'm driving or to push a finger sideways until it hurts to see how far I can push it until it feels like its going to break, or I push a knife to my neck but not enough to draw blood just to see how far I can push it until it feels like I'm going to bleed. I heard you can bite a human finger off as easily as a carrot so I bit my finger hard to test that, I don't actually want to bite off my finger it's almost like it's just curiousity. I never make myself bleed or actually jerk the wheel or whatever because I don't actually want to get hurt or die. I sometimes choke my dog or hit her around because I have the urge to but I never do it hard enough to cause damage. I actually love animals and never feel the urge to do it to any other animal than my own dog. I always feel terrible after I hit or choke her and I know that it's wrong to do that but I just have this urge to do it and I don't know why, I also don't know why I choose to do this but after I choke or hit her I often hit myself in the head with my hand, not lightly, I guess as punishment. Again it's not that I want to kill myself or my dog or even cause harm to one of us, it's like I want to see how far I can push without it being harmful or something or like I want to know what it would feel like or something. I don't even really know honestly. Does this sound like anything to anyone? I have done things like this since I was in elementary school and I am now a young adult. It has started to occur more often with age.",2.552217017954725,3.175012812646372,4.690274004683842,86.78676151444185,74.26932084309135,7.5668696330991425,22.66424668227947,7.793537801064563,0.8319561904761903,1529,36,349,20,30,533,159,427,0.192,0.711,0.097,-0.9889,0,0,2,0,0,2,26.0,2,1,0,0,24,28,6,0,13,0,26,11,8,7,3,82,69,40,4,11,29,0,12,8,0,1,2,2,2,2,33,11,0,0,17,0,0,8,14,17,0,1,3,18,60,11,53,60,7,33,0,4,3,1,13,10,0,21,22,243,93,4,0.0,0.0,0.3584404375141915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356134801570732,0.0,0.0,0.0587473484454111,0.061126074956592336,0.0,0.0,0.04995652060033856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051366175484565575,0.0,0.06045277480688752,0.06539654733611258,0.06867683543780469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434483375627895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020122301918751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093094115360314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624171592040463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428688726045631,0.0751768929148985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181128554253764,0.0,0.1940832168004947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857223831077077,0.15744330284572894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514222354102074,0.0,0.08350003010771116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092641838834229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161462755385211,0.0,0.07539296655515468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359270225024455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243823682411142,0.0,0.2422359953678865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871176688641437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630211276215629,0.0,0.04903629984278593,0.0,0.0,0.08002140020424205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054470969322423735,0.16997473021250215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049779594453933436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050929139466342435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029298969076751,0.0,0.0,0.08229399143823958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412297793874773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434723003490916,0.17561855126632706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076833270899833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310891434688998,0.14531113174454086,0.0,0.05199661671434939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880473368684092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767309209332529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34663722755022824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257563675276482,0.0,0.0,0.07081452179809962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218513148157847,0.1606378197579562,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hollbols777,2018/02/07,"I'm scared of visiting my friend at a psychiatric hospital I'm not proud of this, but I'm terrified. My friend has bipolar (I think) but we never really discuss it frankly. I mean I help her when she struggles but I've never really had to acknowledge it properly. I know this sounds really bad but I've had my own mental health struggles in the past so I'm not completely ignorant, but I've never been to a proper psych ward before and the thought of seeing my friend there kinda scares me. ",2.8544444444444466,5.001400816326534,4.550544217687077,81.83175736961455,76.55102040816327,8.845351473922905,25.174603174603178,9.444778638647367,2.4678671201814057,392,14,75,11,9,132,60,98,0.206,0.647,0.147,-0.777,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,1,3,10,0,4,4,0,4,2,0,0,3,19,13,8,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,4,2,12,4,7,9,1,8,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,1,5,46,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147621108522224,0.0,0.0,0.15044428096506512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853720558950625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097870941092084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879307606682597,0.0,0.0,0.1185057093530725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716498108056897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925876744720143,0.0,0.0,0.17817341178863502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090785455775928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877616951661584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397889575039553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540164694137673,0.0,0.14088718058003188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696607304812181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328667982000913,0.0,0.14035992043904802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheHolyZarquon,2018/02/07,"How do I know which type of doctor to see first? Where do I begin to get help? I'm 29 years old and have recently started to accept that maybe the way I've been feeling isn't healthy. In the past 4 years, my best friend of 25 years passed away and I lost my mother to cancer, as well as moved to an entirely new state. Since their deaths & my move, I haven't made any real connections with people as friends and it's becoming increasingly hard to even talk with coworkers about day to day things. These are just work-related conversations, not even personally relevant to my life outside of work.

During these conversations I start to feel jittery/incredibly sweaty & self aware of myself. I find myself cutting conversations as short as possible just to get away and feel like I can breath again. Even after distancing myself from others, I still feel like I'm being watched by others. Which I know logically is silly because everyone else is busy with their own jobs.

I also find myself being incredibly snappy with my husband since our move. He was diagnosed with severe chronic depression after our second child was born and I try to be as supportive as I can but with how I am feeling (jittery, trapped/watched, sometimes unable to focus), that's incredibly hard to do most days as I just want to escape so I can breath again.

I've never seen any doctors or even told my doctors how I feel so I don't know if I need to start with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or a therapist. If anyone has any tips on who to see or talk to I would greatly appreciate it.",8.1479,7.160412656666669,8.179333333333332,72.04300000000003,62.43333333333333,11.466666666666667,35.0,10.650279960617883,3.5626999999999995,1247,45,232,26,15,406,166,300,0.05,0.8490000000000001,0.101,0.895,1,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,0,2,4,19,13,1,0,5,0,22,9,2,4,1,45,48,25,1,5,10,2,8,2,2,1,7,0,0,3,12,12,0,0,13,0,0,5,5,3,1,2,7,12,33,10,45,37,4,35,0,2,4,0,20,6,0,6,24,153,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310952126994315,0.0,0.19810971999170504,0.0,0.18650870560378935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639238467525732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717865021477109,0.0,0.0,0.05572953072732178,0.1009675613328235,0.0,0.0,0.0959409362714643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687738272103,0.0,0.0787409678500678,0.09279061981991632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28072049547066497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637070326890638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24153142979720504,0.0,0.0,0.08735689905503699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773519120932125,0.13062268400539806,0.0,0.0,0.1671146883544142,0.07776284799192265,0.0,0.0,0.141263624598525,0.0,0.09552763445273252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007922242273641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637909227771388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127772059985735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072146011377352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072814454043415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457351545346893,0.08932758615610023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979706745005984,0.0,0.0,0.0865049743569815,0.0,0.0,0.09184490919827244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29149888493003595,0.0,0.06778768056183188,0.07050968530305053,0.08829518959228098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593119780739973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727190458596419,0.06337996698751952,0.07982548811726292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306369583634292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405736965265862,0.0,0.0,0.09026743137230124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570176128752074,0.0,0.09537227677345436,0.10327996317516586,0.0,0.1512491654616806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041792998460728,0.0,0.1941252425635092,0.0,0.07300910904471647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037437236859852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469618367019117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614708948374482,0.06073620018557142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735689905503699,0.0,0.06206901129447585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053922607639232734,0.07256591375930742,0.0,0.0,0.08219866127269229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311148245752527,0.0,0.0,0.06494301582942774,0.0,0.0,0.17661681622358066
mentalhealth,writeforadifference1,2018/02/07,"After setting up my own website as a platform to address domestic abuse/social work/mental health, I’m very proud that my uncle has submitted a touching post on his journey to recovery [see website here ](https://writeforadifference.com/2018/02/06/road-to-recovery/)

Seeing my niece start ‘Write for a Difference’ has been inspiring and I couldn’t be more proud of her for the work she’s doing here. Even though the stigma of speaking about mental health is slowly breaking down in society, it’s such a complex topic with every case being individual. When it comes to depression & anxiety, the things that work for one person might not work for another. The more information out there for people to learn from, the better. After years of keeping this private, I’ve decided to share my experience with poor mental health and explore how it can affect your relationships, friendships, everyday life, and different techniques that benefit me.

Biggest Downfalls

For as long as I can remember I have suffered with severe social anxiety, which later developed into depression as there is a strong collation between the two of them. I’m not going to discuss my childhood or the reasons why I may suffer from these conditions. I’m going to focus on how it affected me in my everyday life as an adult and my experience confronting it.

Simply taking part in daily life can trigger my anxiety and start an anxiety attack. Hanging out with friends, going on night outs, meeting people for the first time, having important tasks to do at work – all these things became difficult. A few years ago, I convinced myself that my old bedroom in my Mum’s house was my ‘safe place’ and I got stuck in the following cycle:

Make plans
Get ready to go
Suffer severe anxiety attacks before I leave or as I was en route to where I was going
Cancel plans and make up excuses as to why I can’t go
Be filled with regret and shame for cancelling
My way of coping with the thoughts inside my head was to stay in my ‘safe place’ and this had a highly negative impact on every single aspect of my life. I wasn’t speaking about how I felt to anyone as I believed that people would think I’m pathetic or crazy if I told them. This way of thinking lead me to completely breaking down and being put on various medications. I realised how unhealthy this way of coping was but I was unsure on how I could change it. I spoke to my girlfriend at the time about how I was having suicidal thoughts and tried to start communicating ALL of the negative emotions I’d been keeping in. This was a lot of pressure to put on one person. Depression can be self-absorbing and when you’re suffering, your way of thinking becomes clouded and you can’t see that your actions are harming others. You only notice that you are feeling somewhat better. I learnt the hard way, and these are the most significant things that lead to me completely breaking down before my road to recovery:

Making a ‘safe place’ causing anxiety attacks whenever I had to leave
Not being open with anyone and keeping the full weight on my shoulders until breaking point
Passing that full weight on to my partner without any consideration
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to speak to your partner or your parent/guardian or your best friend about your mental health, but it’s harmful to put that pressure only on one person. This pressure creates a co-dependency. I moved from having a safe place to having a safe person and this became extremely toxic. You should begin being open to some degree with your close circle; your family, your friends, your manager – just make people aware that are you are struggling and you will be surprised how comforting and supportive they will be and this takes a HUGE amount of pressure off of you and allows you begin to actively battling your anxiety/depression. However, don’t make the mistake of putting everything on one person.

Medication

Every case is individual. There is not a right or a wrong, however I do believe there are fundamental issues affecting mental health in the NHS. Many people have a positive experience with the NHS, however, my experience going down the NHS route was negative.

I had an emergency appointment at my doctors due to having a complete mental breakdown and within 5 minutes of being in their office I was put on Citalopram and Diazepam for my depression and anxiety, Zopiclone for my sleep and signed off work. The time off of work was completely necessary, but the series of medications they had me on did not make any sense to me. I found that anti-depressants did not have any real benefit to me and there is a lot of research to suggest they may not be helpful to everyone.

Side effects of citalopram include:

Memory loss and concentration problems
Low sex drive
Fast heart rate and feeling shaky
Insomnia
No appetite and changes in weight
Nausea, headaches drowsiness
Side effects of zopiclone include:

Bitter taste in your mouth killing any appetite
Agitation
Weight loss
Fast, irregular or pounding heart rate
I experienced all of these symptoms. I was being treated with sleeping tablets and at the same time the anti-depressants were giving me insomnia. I was treated for anxiety with tablets that increase your heart rate and agitation, which in turn caused more anxiety. I didn’t see any positive changes at all. In addition to this, I struggled to have food on these tablets and I was 6ft2 and only weighing 145lbs. Mental health is completely individual and there needs to be alternatives and more information given to patients.

For me, the approach from the doctor when medication is not working appeared to be the following:

Increase the dose
Switch medication
More time off work
Repeat
I felt like the illness began to define me as a person and became completely reliant on this pill yet I still wasn’t feeling any better. For me personally, it turned almost completely placebo, so I went against the doctor’s instructions and cut the medication cold turkey after 3 months.

Lifestyle changes

I was more effective in battling mental health through lifestyle changes. In my case, I believe that doctors should have used these medications as last resort and instead push for complete lifestyle changes. Regular exercise and good nutrition has been life changing. It’s been over a year now since I had the mental breakdown. I’m now almost completely comfortable with who I am as a person, I’m completely rid of my social anxiety and I gained over 50 lbs. I am in the best shape I have ever been and the way I done this was by breaking ALL co-dependencies in my life and taking myself out of my comfort zone. I set myself goals:

Pass my driving test
Start learning a musical instrument
Do some travelling
Meet new people
Start working out and living a healthy lifestyle
The main thing that has helped me has been going to the gym. It wasn’t just about getting myself into good shape but it gave me goals to work towards and forced me to face my fear of going into a gym alone. I took the confidence and drive that it gave me and applied it to everything else in my life. Exercise has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to improve mental health – Have a look at ‘Out of the Blue’ by Bill O’Hanlon. O’Hanlon’s studies compare results of those using medication and those using only exercise, and the difference in the number of recurring anxiety attacks and depressive states between those using medication to those using only exercise is huge.

Recovery

I began to find myself again. I learnt to have fun and broke out of the rut I was stuck in. If you’d asked me a year ago where I thought I’d be now I would have said either dead, or still stuck in the same rut I had been in for the previous 2 years.

Going to the gym had a knock on effect in every aspect of my life: I was sleeping better, my moods were better, I was eating cleaner and feeling healthier, I felt less stressed, my sex drive was higher.. and this was all without any medication at all. I was just looking after myself properly. Looking at myself now and looking at myself a year ago is like looking at a little boy and a man. By removing myself from my comfort zones which were causing my so much problems – I’ve grown up so much, I’m booming in confidence and I can safely say that all my social anxiety I suffered with is gone. Something awoke in me. I went travelling, I passed my driving test, I’ve started to learn guitar, I’ve started being A LOT more social with friends and going on first dates with people I’ve never met before. There is genuinely nothing I don’t think I can achieve now and I feel so proud of myself that I’m able to say that now. A year ago I would have said the opposite. I’m not perfect by any means, I still have my bad days as everyone does – that’s part of being human – but I’m continuing to grow and learn from my mistakes instead of settling for the rut I was in, and I’m living proof that things do get better & medication isn’t essential in recovery.

Thank you to everybody for taking time to read this. I hope I have given a useful insight into my own experience, providing a different perspective to normal and that there are some people out there that can relate to this. For anybody that is going through a tough time – my messages are always open.",7.705386643233744,8.182933297012305,7.6508969537199745,70.61299217926188,62.83714118336262,10.413237258347982,36.51932630345635,10.195376890980144,3.9047044686584655,7466,332,1217,153,100,2399,577,1707,0.133,0.752,0.114,-0.9577,6,1,1,0,1,0,147.0,0,24,6,40,53,90,10,10,84,0,141,61,10,36,12,247,253,102,3,17,31,1,14,2,7,10,41,10,2,14,73,92,8,9,37,11,2,50,27,46,0,8,74,38,168,43,241,148,45,244,0,15,10,2,86,107,0,27,72,892,241,29,0.025682901209302486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106536921784353,0.0,0.051435431347446214,0.02659974009509564,0.0,0.0,0.021370231220459137,0.055654825460152914,0.0,0.13972202821227972,0.0269307612513624,0.2357681895350937,0.0,0.0,0.03591616336548238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024010045693879867,0.11687203131833344,0.0,0.0,0.021444149734267386,0.0,0.028364746582605137,0.06556277188218025,0.08680750435160056,0.05390524062015302,0.1362866341247951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915024266807158,0.19018372833789124,0.022123545272326052,0.2692803328031001,0.0,0.0,0.02050570677893641,0.0,0.0,0.016563346586594817,0.0,0.17696516142438748,0.0,0.0,0.10733266174738547,0.0,0.10515015066170856,0.022475279922277675,0.026282524849958716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026280019680432348,0.0214547684024695,0.0288898070364684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016963314027534166,0.023231654517657442,0.08655580785313435,0.04908222544408067,0.04616427112778234,0.12561402772528849,0.02421155354045721,0.02890040413202672,0.0649302326813046,0.0,0.07397883833302092,0.0,0.02347370642031648,0.043691725297033066,0.031055866087710837,0.028159975545522933,0.07937018306046427,0.0,0.0402547675776135,0.02463737909127849,0.17515421543924678,0.043083198034736696,0.02054096227475493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02300683484763072,0.0,0.02635806615792262,0.21839778399107304,0.0,0.09130308477411443,0.03442941461654555,0.027135395216751963,0.0,0.025508915897976787,0.0,0.02963461974321224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0268062762352954,0.0,0.06848442795857186,0.028414324949704892,0.0,0.0,0.020934992336743244,0.0,0.054388968124930666,0.0,0.0,0.14512474126203506,0.02509473647483168,0.02574101415196073,0.04535694460075332,0.02272855937646396,0.10783584305928567,0.0,0.0,0.06550405253673124,0.0,0.0,0.10286121592923413,0.02603843073549074,0.0,0.027976208617417852,0.0,0.2846010308913966,0.2329409136253036,0.02724549954784633,0.0,0.0,0.02049984671609513,0.027296859476471976,0.03775977500265025,0.019043545819838213,0.019808236713251097,0.02480470602823154,0.0,0.024101662977488742,0.025163790188865838,0.024643436382001786,0.02924015325191395,0.02694988449015921,0.0,0.08701699269065481,0.0976650184276346,0.0,0.0,0.028517822426488364,0.055624158458444664,0.0,0.14244231935750948,0.17940254960226265,0.10733266174738547,0.0,0.02427864309008873,0.0,0.024597119948893027,0.0,0.0,0.049150135811461736,0.0,0.1290920469013093,0.0,0.0,0.025689851367116316,0.029232764278823938,0.0,0.02640629992431904,0.0,0.02757382434132858,0.02909372048776357,0.021933057303756227,0.04886064075049028,0.06127222163343254,0.0,0.0,0.08186378834954045,0.0,0.026792867193927917,0.05802873603865121,0.0,0.021245161280113056,0.0,0.07710434728020961,0.10472193383547697,0.0,0.019771952103947905,0.0,0.0,0.12724942765577954,0.027374555470375362,0.06153119424511477,0.0,0.029419676561790637,0.053698689399317864,0.0,0.028092925419432258,0.02914465193616745,0.0,0.026694368163704026,0.07724138173161182,0.0,0.0,0.023645364826925745,0.0,0.0,0.08531289177992928,0.06582626425928924,0.025233320038927844,0.06116806425684719,0.1048313436209531,0.0,0.0,0.02454111272204033,0.028534648240024038,0.017437004051204318,0.05587124296996816,0.025088462609984697,0.0,0.0,0.13309068335529156,0.0,0.021191083228679925,0.0,0.14270124077505664,0.0,0.12509941863624244,0.0,0.04761661345400013,0.04634964724331006,0.0,0.0,0.04951480053860135,0.0,0.20567203758474245,0.0,0.0,0.05473318842196261,0.05616044140599174,0.0,0.11577262432258915
mentalhealth,Keki1993,2018/02/07,Coming off Lexapro. Any helpful tips for withdrawal? I am currently taking lexapro but don’t have insurance and it’s getting incredibly expensive between doctors visits and pharmacy. I am going to try to wean myself off. Anyone have helpful tips on getting through the withdrawal period? I have generalized anxiety and suffered with panic attacks but haven’t had any since I’ve been on the lexapro. ,5.888136645962732,9.148183942028986,6.381821946169777,66.86478260869569,71.89855072463769,9.739958592132506,40.29192546583851,9.957137785484203,5.439636024844722,328,21,44,10,7,106,47,69,0.195,0.703,0.102,-0.8809,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,2,0,9,1,0,0,0,8,14,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,10,12,0,9,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,31,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38769159327825664,0.0,0.2180647442513939,0.0,0.0,0.1993156666528012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32428890856516224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455478960714919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917637967690462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978568267083369,0.0,0.16200217370133232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821299985152413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344482459218728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23579876506306455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21432436054425072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935322574144164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ugotbutthurt,2018/02/07,"Where is justice when you need it? Please watch and re-post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veHJHpVvgRw",13.344358974358967,18.07802292307693,3.3461538461538503,78.79051282051283,89.0,4.810256410256411,19.71794871794872,6.42735559955562,0.5664564102564107,90,2,11,1,3,19,13,13,0.0,0.623,0.377,0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536144966714227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6715320410249842,0.0,0.0,0.5858998261532007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Batstronaut,2018/02/07,"Do you have to have anxiety for it to be Hypochondria? For the longest time I've believed that I have High Functioning autism once I started reading up on what it actually is. I found myself relating with other's experiences of whom have the diagnosis. I've been fighting with my parents to see another doctor because I don't trust the effectiveness of his methods. When he evaluated me, he saw me for only one appointment, the majority of which was me just writing down answers to questions in the waiting room instead of actually talking to him about why I think this. 

The whole time I got the impression he was treating this like hypochondriasis and not autism, and it's left me with one question: does it have to give me anxiety, and can I still doubt myself occasionally for it to count as Hypochondria?",11.574199999999998,8.612656153333337,11.073333333333334,60.2,57.46666666666667,14.266666666666666,47.66666666666667,12.45797560212912,5.8890666666666664,653,34,111,16,6,215,94,150,0.078,0.89,0.032,-0.6895,1,0,1,0,3,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,1,7,0,13,1,0,1,0,17,21,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,12,6,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,2,18,4,24,14,2,12,0,0,2,0,14,7,0,3,6,85,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.3346566251563183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979944850901472,0.2623455389836916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452547565935763,0.0,0.0,0.1931860405922996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550505649611536,0.15005305261866014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772888593233054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880061252578304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644880043298184,0.0,0.0,0.13713885227282893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811656584642344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18630079449272235,0.0,0.0,0.08377074336184115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826081285139415,0.2323826965106856,0.13040935819089114,0.0,0.0,0.19039523974470735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38416744545282816,0.0,0.17151468779414467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366380239006561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136613540207662,0.0,0.13693479472676767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781971321632902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986995410898498,0.0,0.0,0.1999690730035963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547234579659892,0.1914382178789956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoVeryDisapoint,2018/02/07,"What kind of therapist? What to ask/say? I've been putting off seeing a therapist for a very long time. 
I'm interested in seeing if I should be diagnosed with a mental Illness or a personality disorder. If I take self assessments I usually come up high on PTSD (obvious if you look at my profile) but also depressive episodes, generalized anxiety and ADHD. I sometimes think I might have borderline personality disorder. 

In the past I have gone to see a psychologist and it was basically like she just stared at me and waited for me to talk but I would like someone who will do a little bit of leading as I need to talk about some things that are very hard to talk about. ",3.967357293868922,6.061678209302329,5.723171247357294,74.91786469344609,73.10852713178295,9.962226920366456,30.331923890063425,10.230975488527342,3.513939534883721,535,24,100,17,11,183,90,129,0.119,0.815,0.066,-0.6956,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,7,0,11,2,0,1,1,22,22,11,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,3,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,3,6,13,4,20,14,2,17,0,1,5,0,9,9,0,6,6,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276450184439276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830595703575424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360609993468088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661184862138994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785808116263285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666379151049312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166484984826352,0.13746194351936672,0.0,0.0,0.3104365787917259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213216304593724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309271191186174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103293564690614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323317338190218,0.13573974113676318,0.0,0.11985420418790173,0.11372985800574675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648490705229618,0.14367332358910787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004220721316851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292864046204858,0.0,0.2365102584782145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583142742710488,0.13614786834545806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077019920336354,0.0,0.0,0.3237684043869041,0.0,0.1412864635303588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475219130812105,0.0,0.1339469917196782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182898291612434,0.32656845706107496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144969878998024,0.08997586324666387,0.08678018684313839,0.0,0.0,0.07897224340736363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916064050866834,0.22349330410119145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620792695692314,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowingWaterfalls,2018/02/07,"Things I've heard after being on meds for less than a week and I have only told a handful of people. Been dealing with mental health issues for years, told my new doctor, the first doc I’ve ever told. After answering some questions he says it looks like I have moderate anxiety with mild/moderate depression (which the anxiety brings on and makes worse) though I think only a psychiatrist can diagnose it. I’ve gone to counselling, done some meditation, self help, exercise, diet, etc. I am on the lowest dose for this med, my first ever for these issues and I’ve heard some crap.

""My friend had this garbage reaction to that med. They nearly committed suicide but were fine once they got off."" Well first off I'm glad they are better now but clearly this med wasn't for them.

""It doesn't help with anxiety it actually makes it worse."" Uhhh pretty sure my DOCTOR who has gone to MEDICAL SCHOOL would not prescribe me a medication if it isn't help MY SPECIFIC ISSUES. Yeah a side effect is that it could worsen my anxiety but they gave me the heads up already, nice scare tactic.

""This person had issues with this other med, they had a psychotic break."" Again, CLEARLY NOT THE RIGHT MED THEY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED ASAP I’M STILL GLAD THEY GOT BETTER THOUGH.

I go to my Doctor: ""yeah we don't prescribe that anymore unless it's for something unrelated.”

Then I got THIS: ""Well if you go crazy I'll know why.""

Like, wow, way to make me feel so alone as I go on a new path to deal with my mental health. Well done, you’re the best. 

Luckily 99.9% of people who know are crazy supportive. Thank god. 
",3.2744817927170864,5.5108623725490204,4.058417366946781,85.43073529411767,75.60130718954248,7.247245564892625,22.693277310924373,8.192908349453996,1.3046100840336137,1250,36,240,22,28,399,168,306,0.101,0.642,0.256,0.996,1,1,1,0,0,1,49.0,1,1,8,7,11,20,1,1,13,2,24,14,3,4,6,40,51,14,1,5,8,0,2,2,1,2,10,3,0,2,23,9,1,1,7,1,0,6,6,3,3,3,19,6,28,17,32,28,6,34,0,1,1,0,29,10,1,6,18,151,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.06983684130244913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411946491940989,0.07897344573445401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898725314464185,0.0,0.07097297010962865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510275620802859,0.126586354614541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571386039418224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756016344703585,0.061638586633084164,0.07263668220840347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974856357745406,0.0,0.1464711062322904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981357769929641,0.0,0.12946876893423798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03618527163217213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826187373736232,0.0,0.0,0.055290723499229665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201563511826992,0.0,0.17171052731624215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344604695200901,0.15213989714873,0.0,0.0,0.14390496559799326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987798894182909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866019472006935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992581255149423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600963389725856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331001465387258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769536106293112,0.14418784851942687,0.14424080681507878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823530092572306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621408890744978,0.0,0.10885638553340994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099227929059774,0.062487551260647915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280704605010087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016886236489291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06111587803449633,0.0,0.05691113604440631,0.07164876714972998,0.07242731513822376,0.0,0.0,0.07465760841914754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055094016148940515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715167613161577,0.059831308591827226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828018592155801,0.0812107937539383,0.06744889965495562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588717718783674,0.0,0.0,0.04754441860596794,0.045855781551807036,0.1406239438986391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514946427840414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568047419785193,0.057404899954781326,0.0,0.19303582781562245,0.0,0.06457602669416594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458611229004733,0.050837522279864766,0.0,0.0,0.04608533196419305
mentalhealth,SauronOMordor,2018/02/07,"Is it weird that I just sort of assume I will die by suicide? Not any time remotely soon - I am not at all suicidal. But I've thought about this numerous times since Robin Williams' death. I've struggled with mild to severe depression throughout my life, but I'm doing well for the most part, which is why I've been fortunate enough to have never been truly suicidal. Even on my worst days I know that the sun will shine again and that I have a lot of living left to do. 

However, constantly fighting to keep depression at bay is very exhausting, and I sort of assume that Robin Williams and others like him eventually just got too tired. I assume the same will eventually happen with me... hopefully in my much later years of life. And I'm weirdly ok with that. To some degree, I find the thought of dying on my terms when I decide I've had enough oddly comforting. 

Does anyone else experience this or feel like this? 

Again, to be clear, I am in no way suicidal. I just believe that many years from now I'll probably be tired and decide I've fought long enough. ",5.599074693422524,6.144512415458938,5.8402898550724665,81.55133779264217,67.35748792270532,9.654254923820142,28.96655518394649,9.661875296680813,2.4300920847268674,838,27,167,17,13,267,123,207,0.209,0.637,0.154,-0.8966,1,0,0,0,2,1,23.0,0,0,0,0,12,15,2,1,5,1,17,5,0,0,3,37,28,9,7,1,8,0,1,2,0,3,5,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,9,1,0,7,2,17,6,24,16,12,23,0,2,1,0,3,7,0,10,17,109,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771618179715661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990914867990412,0.11709617194973355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875751234294472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234990417363811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737029126166083,0.0,0.19686311218050512,0.0,0.2372148814125849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000959549358757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546856442988108,0.0,0.0,0.3542538588847585,0.0,0.07548267162816573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117904483910275,0.0,0.0,0.05778478691449125,0.08164361194936469,0.0,0.0,0.10445235351681316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140234672276767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105984913485644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350854669035275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015797498619454,0.0,0.0,0.06280680488951118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416853087755272,0.0,0.161442557333195,0.11166554777270847,0.0,0.10091375275486897,0.10113662820897988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715909835225624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586476049016987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401096308929155,0.0,0.08814189402686265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375707013077572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321612234470802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910696637146815,0.0,0.09453586309793173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947313279151665,0.0,0.5000270727919315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145545934934648,0.13327836890557432,0.2627023948210664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429522876244796,0.0,0.09071231920898404,0.0,0.0,0.10275390763563894,0.0,0.10312239687567272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718867469088173
mentalhealth,hah98,2018/02/07,"Forgetfulness resulting from anxiety? They more anxious I get, the more forgetful I am. Sometimes it is as simple as forgetting to turn the oven off. Other times, I will forget what we are even talking about in class. 

I am currently reading a review for one of my favorite classes—statistics and I barely remember how to do hypothesis testing when I’ve done it for years! It’s my favorite! It is sad that I can’t even enjoy going to school anymore because I feel so stupid. My teachers just think I’m lazy but I really am trying.",3.1564705882352944,5.624924647058824,4.931137254901961,77.87611764705883,77.0392156862745,8.00156862745098,29.807843137254906,8.841846274778883,2.9303419607843137,422,20,73,10,10,143,77,102,0.136,0.802,0.063,-0.6261,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,0,7,3,1,0,3,0,10,0,0,2,0,13,16,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,1,13,1,12,14,2,7,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,56,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944875521348302,0.2872109298855754,0.25213082544567983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497807948608547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26016863082695685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358370027252696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285478456305714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328262514695391,0.0,0.14448647493136565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227486306014114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543018029845476,0.0,0.16286817232125111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287996433682646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25729737282246434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514429416010121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20434285837834956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290224343514345,0.0,0.0,0.14824530907521266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260752137110805,0.2765325034234618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371771917001662
mentalhealth,Marissammn,2018/02/07,I’m very overwhelmed I’m 17 and I’m very overwhelmed. My grades have never been so bad and I can’t get me math grades up no matter how hard I try. It feels like the harder I work the worse I do. And I want to quit my job to have more time to study but my father won’t let me quit because he insists on me working until I get my PTO. Not to mention my mom is in the midst of another drinking binge. I’m halfway through my junior year and I NEED to get my grades up if I want to get into college. I just don’t know what to do I feel like I’ve dug myself a hole I can never get out of ,-0.5725811965811971,0.9059994000000025,2.0081481481481482,99.16128205128204,84.62962962962962,4.45014245014245,18.532763532763525,4.713530739802397,-0.7483219373219372,449,11,116,1,13,155,79,135,0.062,0.847,0.091,0.1399,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,4,3,5,0,2,4,0,11,1,0,1,2,20,26,9,0,4,4,2,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,3,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,3,22,2,17,23,1,11,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,1,7,70,24,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178728701726353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142316253367596,0.10390300257784074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697332025984435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236640407753062,0.2435349606538772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452580130883464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526871700643677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16914249915701535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367329783896136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429376232916344,0.0,0.1665437389032114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996256458359283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263844043945774,0.26291870461467554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36258305643717775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993891057501301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572242860053746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28127350417511515,0.20106829422112185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481751151395191,0.0,0.1737002108525842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976237835291884
mentalhealth,leesiamwas,2018/02/07,"Bulimia? For the last two months I have been eating about 300/400 calories a day. I work as a waitress in a busy restaurant and often get mega dizzy and need to sit down. I have depression and have been on fluoxetine for over three years. All of a sudden in these last few months I've really turned to hating my body. I am a 5ft 5 female, and used to weigh 62kg and now I weight 56kg. I used to go to the gym for a month and I really believe that started the idea that I am obsessed with my body weight. If I eat too much or something unhealthy I feel guilty, really guilty. I go to the toilet and shove my hands down the back of my throat and I can't seem to break this cycle. I cannot be happy with how I look and I feel like this is getting worse. My boyfriend tells me I look great all the time, and made the comment the other day-"" I heard you vomiting up your dinner, are you bulimic?"" 
Honestly I'd never thought of it til he said that.
Can I please have some advice on how to stop this cycle of feeling overweight and gross. I don't want to become unhealthy and I feel like I'm spiralling. Help.
Edit: I no longer go to the gym as I have no energy to, especially as I work 9/10 shifts and am on my feet all day.",1.1509684684684665,2.9110279498069502,2.833421814671816,93.96948922136423,80.31274131274131,6.015508365508365,20.058075933075934,6.996647511020387,0.1880539253539255,945,24,219,11,24,312,143,259,0.166,0.754,0.08,-0.9659,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,2,7,9,1,1,15,0,17,13,5,5,4,38,41,21,0,3,2,0,7,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,9,15,7,1,7,2,0,3,6,4,0,2,6,11,33,5,34,34,6,31,0,1,2,0,9,9,0,5,19,140,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460539234038412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018165806831346,0.0,0.0,0.1295273749949586,0.0,0.13213524442839772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605449502063937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269091456444408,0.0,0.10101373882411564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24001497451133694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372026860181121,0.1675707836326132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225487034331088,0.0,0.19996006027302385,0.0,0.0,0.12930244181137393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484754006966756,0.0,0.11579046072134624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861081509942085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239569220850628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911989303356488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145949015376908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969725855460789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097388215142984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808371291316101,0.0,0.0862148463454444,0.08696219067060362,0.09045414515776487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873904564680394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225399156352764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115608510471213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106767990785368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902884517967446,0.0,0.0,0.08301191906783471,0.0,0.0,0.09805195916604507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250854557098077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931078157604172,0.06838734894726012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756777887174142,0.11456625198701227,0.0,0.0,0.20258582604868636,0.0,0.0,0.06917522547038424,0.0,0.0,0.285632717749803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076356680118873,0.0,0.11951910465572115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552495832464441
mentalhealth,Lordkeravrium,2018/02/07,"Weird reason why but I need help I'm a pubescent male who has posted on here before about my religion. Anyway, I'm having an issue with peeing. When I pee, I feel like orgasming and this has started ever since I was worried about it. I also pee during actual orgasm instead of ejaculating. I don't know how to fix this. I think this is a mental health issue because  it has started since I became worried about it. Don't ask questions as to why because it's a long story.",2.9508684210526286,4.7318942315789485,4.8159868421052625,81.68503289473686,75.10526315789474,6.434210526315789,24.50657894736842,7.1686216300943375,1.2229210526315786,372,12,68,4,8,127,64,95,0.079,0.843,0.077,0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,4,0,8,6,5,2,1,11,17,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,9,1,9,16,0,7,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,6,47,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.17569537337008262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439798114186013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831530404048076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21950430491645803,0.0,0.15320278886292324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285862356770262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103482762599382,0.12862229900704275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137661108030865,0.0,0.0,0.12067859976203155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37583489779754464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894657334839484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795960352240571,0.0,0.0,0.15933182429664358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144035394459115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349912972018738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243081398105808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016886494744811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851135336022622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29786580382583505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25486982024027344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536387543689125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249204548542496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656835150703017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stumbleinlife,2018/02/07,"What made you (or someone you know) finally take that step to get help? Okay so I'm in a pretty bad way at the moment and rationally I know I should seek professional help. (if I was a friend of mine talking to me I'd be like ""girrrl you get yourself to the doctors pronto"")


But there is a lot of different hurdles; for example - I don't know what will happen when I do initiate the process and I also don't even really know how to do that anyway. What do I say and who do I say it to?!


I worry that I am over reacting... What if I try to seek help and then they say ""lol you're being silly, people have it much worse than you. Get a grip and sort yourself out"" 


Another issue I'm having is that I have a lot of anxiety and something that really triggers it (perhaps related to what I said above) is going to the doctors. I think maybe I don't want to waste their time, or I don't know if I'll be able to explain myself properly. And yeah i suppose ultimately I'm afraid of being dismissed.


I have already been once, and I got put onto a one day CBT course. Maybe to me this felt a little like being dismissed as it did not really relate to me and it seemed to be aimed at people who were struggling with high levels of stress but who are functioning at life generally. 


These, I guess, are fairly specific issues. But does anyone else have any stories of how they overcame hurdles and finally sought help? Or any advice in general I suppose!
(I'm from the UK so I'm not sure if the services here are different)

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mentalhealth,AmountToNothingEver,2018/02/07,"Can you get brain damage from living in an animal hoarded house for a long time? And by long time, I mean 15 years, with varying levels of ammonia. ",4.49758620689655,5.4753444482758615,5.527068965517246,81.26232758620691,70.0344827586207,8.558620689655173,24.84482758620689,8.841846274778883,1.7449172413793108,115,3,22,2,2,38,27,29,0.11,0.89,0.0,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579845228917307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754187143458435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700212384625382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831659889594434,0.5675827637960388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493141281988054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739817429020107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650716822372045
mentalhealth,Kurbzy23,2018/02/07,"Has anyone here just 'toughened up' with their mental illness without getting treatment and turned out to be ok? I been turned back from government assistance or disability support classes for finding suitable employment for years as I'm not 'disabled' enough, I got bi-polar and have been to psychologists and the like, never helped, medications don't work, I live in Australia and I got to say the mental health system is very crap, the only place to go is the mental ward but who wants to be cooped up in a mental ward for weeks at a time... so I was thinking I'm just going to have to soldier on and not let my bipolar take over me... anyone been in a similar predicament as me? ",7.384098901098902,6.984801607692307,7.355934065934068,75.4019230769231,63.69230769230769,9.582417582417582,35.49450549450549,8.841846274778883,3.027065934065934,539,22,97,7,7,173,87,130,0.031,0.915,0.054000000000000006,0.2056,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,5,4,1,0,7,1,13,5,1,0,1,18,26,10,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,6,1,9,3,24,17,1,18,0,0,0,0,4,10,1,1,6,70,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126182342910472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116908510807289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570968014116952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896077820357347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943403751168572,0.0,0.17281439388148928,0.0,0.24319875622877515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161021547852286,0.0,0.0,0.10190845370861022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554700516098355,0.0,0.07427851500984213,0.0,0.1342531129468747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531631722205598,0.6128777081370719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726175403350965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563241629557255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588482655445569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209074165506074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253191468803888,0.0,0.0,0.11431431324426684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742037264924587,0.0,0.0,0.0886550912318142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307492759468121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254479954595238,0.08967646822788464,0.0,0.12195641544500282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656005089770555,0.0,0.11068611246726737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979080513226792
mentalhealth,thatwastragicman,2018/02/07,"I think I know why I'm so distant Hi, I didn't know where else to put this and I couldn't find any information on if this is a real thing and other people are doing it or I'm a lone wolf here. I have never had a really good connection with anyone, teacher, family or friends and I think it because I distance myself from them because I don't want them to think I am attracted to them. For example a few years back I had a field trip and I couldn't get a ride so my teacher was gonna pick me up from my house, I ended up not going because I couldn't stomach being alone with her for so long because I thought she would think I was hitting on her. Is this just something I do? Is it a form of anxiety? How do I go about fixing this?",2.592664772727272,3.075290618750003,4.6114772727272735,87.90761363636368,74.0625,7.5681818181818175,25.79545454545455,7.686295010490155,1.1853749999999996,569,18,131,7,11,197,93,160,0.06,0.884,0.056,0.3685,0,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,9,4,0,0,7,0,20,1,1,2,1,29,35,11,0,6,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,9,0,0,5,7,1,0,0,6,0,27,3,15,22,2,15,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,3,5,97,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18126278501782747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190162191038047,0.0,0.13388601574350725,0.0,0.0,0.12237457538133885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345757518512989,0.0,0.42675014132704703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620259666601546,0.0,0.15501136569759166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498859043967426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599605629688813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521617483367013,0.0,0.09143812753154064,0.0,0.1989301448349125,0.14679430015729422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019438418719494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236736234546872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488279048187076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498237727511758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133338248247336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593844046091006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19920541509073866,0.11211910707993401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473511736535654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627220647021065,0.4485702470889254,0.0,0.13894238116246133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322839673349313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792383899016524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243256529424971,0.0,0.0,0.11270393855896775
mentalhealth,anelmi,2018/02/07,"Can you refuse your parents coming into a therapy session if you're over 18? My mom wants me to start seeing my therapist again, but she wants her & my dad told come in with me into my therapy sessions. Can I leaglly refuse to have them come into my therapy sessions since I'm over 18?",6.751839080459767,5.782716482758622,7.208620689655174,77.81511494252874,65.20689655172414,10.491954022988507,34.85057471264368,9.725611199111238,3.167533333333333,228,9,45,4,3,75,39,58,0.084,0.916,0.0,-0.5803,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,13,12,2,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,13,0,9,11,0,11,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,1,2,29,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058680104541404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4910118982585007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22252904355010653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097568151135465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514076730671363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571723223764539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448499638533762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6518544595568923,0.22060795531315805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815558672099142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413720949487745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mrssomethingstarwars,2018/02/07,"Where I'm at So, I've been contemplating suicide now, seriously for the first time in about a year. It's generally an annual accurence at this point. But this year is different...

I'd like to say I was having a manic bipolar episode, but the only major presenting symptom was hyperfixation on sex. Specificly the desire to have sex outside of my relationship. To summarize, we have a great loving relationship, not one worth throwing away. I'm not going into detail about it because that's not what I'm here to talk about. Just know, it's a good relationship. However, he refuses to let me act on my sexual urges. I'd call them impulses but they've stuck around for quite some time now. He is one of the only two partners I've had, so wanting to have sexual exploration is not all that unwarranted.

Anywho, I chose to forgo my desires for the sake of my relationship and my S/O. It feels as if I have surrendered a large part of myself and like I'm severing a part of my soul. It feels like I've sacrificed my only chance at happiness and it's got me all screwed up in the head.

Now I am mildly suicidal, I've cut myself, I'm over taking my Valium and Klonpin. (Went from 1-2 times a month to 1-2 times a day) just to numb myself from the pain I feel internally. All over sex...

My S/O says he'll go to couple's therapy with me, and work with me to improve our sex life and while that's great, it doesn't solve my desire to have sex with other people while still in a relationship with him.

So I'm stuck... I am unhappy playing by his rules, I'm unhappy breaking his rules, I'd be unhappy if we split, the only way I see myself being happy is him accepting who I am right now and what I do to be happy.

Of course I recognize that it's unfair of me to ask this of him, so I follow his rules with what he's comfortable with. But that's part of my downward spiral... I'm an awful person, yadda yadda.

I have individual therapy tomorrow, and I'm worried about couple's therapy because I'm afraid I'll be shamed for wanting to have sex with different people. I don't want to medicate this ""problem"" away... I just want to not be a problem at all.",3.421789578587699,4.503790913439642,5.619082431662871,79.21115212129841,72.66742596810934,9.13214692482916,27.15838553530752,9.516144504307137,2.3775221526195898,1677,59,342,40,32,590,193,439,0.128,0.7190000000000001,0.153,0.9488,3,0,0,0,0,2,63.0,3,0,1,3,19,22,2,2,20,1,28,15,1,0,4,55,58,21,2,11,14,0,3,3,1,1,6,2,0,2,22,19,0,1,6,1,1,7,7,9,0,4,8,6,44,13,61,43,9,48,1,0,1,8,29,20,1,3,22,222,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331278940970605,0.07699015588543923,0.0,0.1547491563970293,0.0,0.0,0.10040483691832694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409295068279163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822469387705676,0.0,0.05311171215353179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208543592311232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492242954170765,0.058833930208236775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005052769182776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360769600768094,0.0690748817188449,0.06586625897065322,0.1815918186302352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630030593602584,0.0,0.0,0.08451927364946463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525977093913466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421285404832697,0.05816927940835896,0.12070245707156972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432797339235635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296329572307665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573441860221353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161081352949397,0.25053663251343256,0.08763078434016014,0.0,0.0,0.2675450529319672,0.0,0.1141882080509072,0.07190860044700043,0.0,0.0,0.07785143518778617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760389072810074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759393797029555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4420885035920056,0.0,0.07033012441500237,0.0,0.1309828937201232,0.0,0.0,0.06562571669751419,0.0,0.0,0.09303692067919632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576825241050609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801644807257841,0.0,0.0,0.08559765326522252,0.06192018641013405,0.06619326887692223,0.0,0.0,0.28253796669818226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208582440770394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044818705868137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429880551905665,0.06536901209954604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634326355102761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995491310297479,0.08363479182863462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606694152111903
mentalhealth,FilmMeUpScotty,2018/02/07,"Mental Health & Social Media Short Documentary Hi guys,

I'm making a short documentary covering the idea of how social media effects our mental health today. It's for a London based company called Sanctus (a mental health brand - it would be distributed on their social media and YT - they're at www.sanctus.io if you want to see the kind of thing they get up to) and it would be amazing to hear some stories if people are willing to share them.

This doesn't necessarily mean getting you on camera - first of all, I would just love to hear some different stories to help structure the documentary and see any similarities in different stories.

So if your story is something is not something you would like to share publicly, your anonymity will be upheld. But I'd just like to open up a conversation with people that have been effected either positively or negatively through social media.

The focus is leaning towards Instagram - simply as my research thus far has shown a more visual platform has more routes to damage ones self-worth. But all kind of social media is appropriate.

Please don't feel the need to comment unless you're happy to - drop me a message.

Thanks a lot,

Scott",9.33820730671198,8.945352429906544,8.870169923534407,66.11854290569245,59.747663551401864,10.959388275276126,36.744265080713674,10.230975488527342,3.865370093457944,956,37,150,17,11,306,135,214,0.025,0.825,0.15,0.9779,2,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,5,3,3,4,11,0,0,12,0,20,4,0,5,2,35,34,13,0,9,11,0,1,2,0,6,3,2,0,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,5,12,10,27,24,8,15,0,1,2,1,27,12,0,7,4,102,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263942999478875,0.0,0.07069562021542515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615366517625502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21722985813161771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256474591866277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842739137633751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862847409967434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293566021860827,0.0,0.11066618734378147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33151036362281505,0.23433848258668366,0.0,0.0696814625757571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735694967862575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651440359292068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157813950627767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838214331620126,0.09382697047323846,0.0,0.06939337625590787,0.0,0.0,0.11324172400243784,0.0,0.0,0.3142983741455365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708421070377837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044524441858972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414402998220674,0.0,0.0,0.11411565927577495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568357515572968,0.0,0.10845181037575473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5298650583149137,0.0,0.1600652878854136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095711392286394,0.0,0.0,0.06906567703228894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854088622257212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131765557560859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29539769317630943,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueybluel,2018/02/07,"I feel, deep down, incredibly alone... my whole entire life. From the time I was very little, I knew I was incredibly different from everybody else. I couldn't understand other people. I couldn't understand other kids my age. Yes, I could play the part as human being who says all the right small talk with other human beings, and pretend to understand they're the same as me, but they're not. I'm an alien. I have nobody to truly connect to. I feel like I'm the only person on this entire planet of nearly 8 billion people who it truly, and totally, irrevocably DIFFERENT from everybody else. On a cosmic level, I feel utterly alone and alien.

Nobody else understands me. Nobody else loves me. Nobody else can connect to me on any deeper level than small talk at parties and some common interests. Or awkward first dates that inevitably end there and never lead to more dates.

I'm an artist, so I look for groups of artists and hang out with other artists. I still feel alone. 

I'm an animator, so I look for groups of animators and hang out with other animators. I still feel alone.

I'm a musician, so I look for groups of musicians and hang out with other musicians. I still feel alone.

I'm a gardener, so I look for groups of gardeners and hang out with other gardeners. I still feel alone.

No matter where I go, no common interests will save me. They're still different from me, no matter how many interests we share in common. They're still all aliens to me. They don't get me. There's a wall there, between us. THERE'S ALWAYS A WALL, between the silence of awkward small talk, and desperate attempts to sound social and cool, like I know how to function playing the role of an extrovert who's interested in the lives of others. They can tell I'm different from them. They stop talking to me.

I do everything for others, yet nothing returns to me. I'm afraid to ask for things, because I know I'll sound like a leech and they'll always say no. They'll think I'm a moocher who hasn't earned their effort or love, even though I've done so much for them.

Maybe you've assumed this by now, but I have many ""friends""... not real friends. Not CLOSE friends. Not friends I can talk to at any hour of the night about my deepest fears, dreams and hopes. About every detail of the pain I've been through. About who I REALLY am as a person, flaws and all. And I've never found a person of any gender who's my other soul, who I can see instantly as one of my kind, who I really GET, and who really GETS me.

All my life, I was the shy, quiet, introverted girl in school who got picked on and made fun of, and because my family moved every year I was new every year, so I could never develop any strong friendships. Even as an adult, to this day, getting closer to 30, I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never had sex, never had close adult friends I could confide in. I can only confide online, and through a trained, paid for therapist.

Deep down, my most constant, lifelong basic understanding is that I am alone, and my fear is that I'll always be alone, past the day I die. How many years do I have to be alone? How many years do I have to try so hard to meet people, only to always be reminded of how alone I am in this world? Why am I so weird and different from literally every other life form in this whole universe???

At a party tonight, I overheard a man saying to another man, ""Everybody needs friends"". That's a pretty cruel thing to say, in general, to those who aren't capable of making friends, and never will their whole lives no matter how hard they try. Maybe I should just kill myself if we're supposedly all ""social animals"" as humans and I've failed to be social all my life.",4.0342846967846935,5.378558189560442,5.0012942612942615,83.21777981277981,71.5,8.084900284900284,25.7067562067562,8.570944101241986,1.7023317256817254,2894,89,571,49,54,946,277,728,0.159,0.727,0.114,-0.9877,5,10,0,0,0,1,113.0,2,0,10,7,34,36,2,5,31,2,47,9,0,10,15,106,92,49,2,9,10,0,9,3,7,5,5,7,3,12,35,35,0,1,18,10,1,7,22,10,0,3,15,22,74,26,92,61,17,83,1,1,5,4,65,37,0,7,42,373,109,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630685101119373,0.0,0.0,0.14881169660496324,0.0,0.0,0.1216193677133104,0.04688311782094442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04179851399839218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451051414523358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831643494909811,0.0,0.10709368271607762,0.0,0.0,0.05766946743766317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464026976468143,0.2335660780143969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04575461858175946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675046454232092,0.0,0.039600451994015566,0.0,0.0,0.05906205493142756,0.0,0.15068293464820767,0.0,0.04018313745758581,0.0,0.04214931418650244,0.10062404395836914,0.1582496836512156,0.031941367400900464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0380309395226901,0.0,0.049023027571078265,0.241803891692237,0.0,0.0934380821287534,0.0,0.025410148524418526,0.0,0.03575926968771414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010409648512358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440786126938416,0.04403108061809674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04946581836234662,0.0465593639067651,0.049143715775258716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632209464516828,0.06553023933414986,0.04481191556573325,0.0789608194832439,0.0,0.15018307097319356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070639163103975,0.04230639094550581,0.029844771564412707,0.18131872391579806,0.08983591206817118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752044946046435,0.03286754436345623,0.03315245321388238,0.2758694823320013,0.043181919158584436,0.0,0.041958008335064606,0.0,0.04290116869057645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03029716005917838,0.10201361609922988,0.04757538835721471,0.0,0.0,0.04841738319904001,0.04268146822096251,0.09299040944473212,0.11711910209122665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548690465686626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089061980550827,0.08592855041725111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038182734611466235,0.0,0.14222312589825328,0.0,0.04524966410501181,0.03562867754310324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673093149745544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142363672925284,0.037380187455197784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968402868727268,0.03907916457552922,0.0,0.0,0.05191262466473952,0.05940766871952515,0.02864884206368985,0.04392808303325641,0.0,0.02607119679152573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071132618544457,0.0,0.0,0.23272732808606456,0.05378152491655815,0.0,0.0,0.036891049699286894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04034449587936149,0.14975386073783062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516902359657685
mentalhealth,cooliodudeio,2018/02/07,"I've been struggling for awhile and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been struggling with myself since I was roughly 11. I've had self esteem issues since I was very young, I think around the time I started school. It's always been easy for me to make friends but I'm not CLOSE with very many people. I started to self harm when I was 11. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I felt like the would would be better without me. I started to become really awkward and self conscious when talking to people and when I tried to make new friends. Around this age I began to obsess over things. I really hate admitting this, but at this age I was incredibly obsessed with One Direction for about a year. I knew literally every single detail of their lives. It was all I would think about, all I would talk about. Then after while I broke out of this obsession but went straight into another one. The cycle hasn't ended. Recently, and I'm talking about within the past year or two, I've developed weird habits (or at least they just recently became more apparent to myself and others), some that others have noticed that I haven't (I only know about it because they told me). They say things I say just don't make sense. I'll comment on something that was said and it has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. I'll make connections to things that no one else sees a connection to. I'm not so much obsessed with fads anymore but more like situations or my thoughts. I'll talk and talk for hours about one thing on my mind and never let anyone else get a word in. I interrupt people a lot. I lash out at people and I get very mad very easily. I prefer to be in my room all day even though I'm currently grounded and I have literally nothing to do. I also like to work alone at school but I get mad and passive agressive when someone doesn't at least invite me to do something. I've noticed I'm VERY obsessed with dates and times and the specific way events occured.  I notice patterns in things, and when I ask others they don't see it. I notice very small details about things others don't care to acknowledge or don't notice themselves. I get very emotionally attached to others quickly but I can turn my emotions on and off at will (like I can just go from loving someone to feeling nothing just because I want to). I also feel like I have weird speech patterns, I stutter a lot and I'm very loud and I repeat words a lot when I'm talking fast (for example I'll say ""like"" about 10 times before I say something). I freak out (mostly internally) if my routine is messed up, and it externally manifests as agression/frustration/irritation. I crave affection and praise but when I get it, I feel almost like my skin is burning and I instantly want to get away. I avoid eye contact with people. I make stories up a lot and I have a really good imagination.  I feel very lost and I'm very confused about what's wrong with me. Several people (including my old therapist) acknowledge I have depression, and I'm pretty sure I have some form of anxiety. One of my friends said I might have OCD, another said I sound like I have Asperger's (but that's a form of Autism and I don't think I had symptoms of that in my early childhood), and someone else said I might have boarder line personality disorder. I think I might just be a slightly weird hormonal teenage girl, or maybe I'm just really stupid. But I don't know. I just want to have a ROUGH idea of what's wrong with me (if there is anything wrong), because I feel like my behaviors aren't normal and it's driving me crazy. If there's any more details anyone wants to know about me, just ask. I'm not trying to want or search for something wrong with me, I just have no idea if everything is perfectly normal for someone my age or not. Maybe I'm just a jerk to people. Idk. Please help xx


edit: I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I'm just looking for someone telling me I'm not alone or I'm going through something normal, or something like ""hey I was diagnosed with ___ and you have similar issues, talk to a therapist about it."" thank you for helping, or at least reading because now I know someone has heard me. xx",3.476196972128605,5.125406461170847,4.507896003851709,84.99378430428504,73.39665471923536,7.529870361454378,27.307352128247647,8.21005641190726,1.7781011037999963,3316,124,661,53,67,1080,303,837,0.141,0.7340000000000001,0.125,-0.7448,2,3,6,0,0,0,88.0,0,2,5,5,40,53,5,10,21,0,59,5,2,6,6,155,136,66,0,17,41,0,10,11,3,8,2,12,1,6,33,48,0,1,26,1,0,4,22,30,0,6,26,27,98,23,95,98,21,79,1,3,5,1,45,31,0,26,54,423,131,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041422244103010784,0.08568575384177472,0.0,0.0661610226933537,0.03441996736343463,0.0,0.0,0.02813041422789666,0.0867520724302606,0.0316450069624767,0.0,0.041024125395707815,0.05784837600054426,0.0423845297758508,0.034040833430901044,0.07364932319272176,0.07734357018905139,0.0,0.03886487857389096,0.0,0.0,0.10086573357596697,0.045685684987379696,0.03519956405962976,0.0,0.0,0.036585015936848465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04217556740785162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026677757627350626,0.0,0.03562862176042409,0.04198579198028315,0.0,0.0,0.047409214821642114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366838157970798,0.09306274743337123,0.03663814864847969,0.04274231166884089,0.0,0.027321965269352586,0.0,0.034852782483798916,0.0,0.037177246450515414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457989278333624,0.05910400048195138,0.07943602090649035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587820140039822,0.0,0.12967269955578278,0.0,0.047018695592579735,0.06939196188239312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084052898674802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554537438186032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040737345045526514,0.0,0.0,0.09339474204830167,0.0,0.08635106879618101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366882655687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04229971165144083,0.0,0.2223036338965394,0.0,0.03652708613111346,0.0,0.06947432922776448,0.0,0.04515606127356805,0.14067215447055925,0.03733458362933968,0.0,0.13806119903910638,0.0419388038840035,0.0831157558712412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164890855362427,0.04176803971086236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030408894733847724,0.0,0.03190414058527168,0.03995170492745734,0.0,0.0,0.1215901917165784,0.11907586781456755,0.2354782946075868,0.08681367412735776,0.0,0.14015393738974335,0.03146083645187813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03948869011523665,0.2007466574071566,0.03611934423242855,0.0,0.045407632828386266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042084266478305335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137736445177462,0.0,0.10600091143105786,0.0,0.08168820519891519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739480239018647,0.13158415537022408,0.0,0.08372954531042902,0.06592696387254539,0.0,0.1294618113684626,0.04673199788965186,0.0,0.06843704687596595,0.0464973084553861,0.0,0.0,0.2102965305244197,0.19107419263046924,0.0,0.0,0.08783756448886339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864898052583646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03898712584485765,0.04299528963928824,0.0,0.23273992466842536,0.03615585602389117,0.03808441178025791,0.0,0.0960586237493899,0.1648910722838107,0.10602308623092567,0.04064205217300111,0.03284011847579685,0.07236283946728965,0.0,0.0,0.03952714831397368,0.0,0.05616982840915048,0.04499451455957418,0.040408737524921835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413142261318589,0.12199419465938932,0.03283454045107592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038346854185528884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987551189698866,0.0,0.03011506455876266,0.0,0.0,0.11754136176602373,0.2261370666008156,0.0,0.07991537205565186
mentalhealth,comrade_julie,2018/02/07,"A stranger said something that really stuck with my today We were on the topic of drug abuse and addiction in relation to self perception and abuse. It was her opinion that past a certain point, all of the trauma inflicted upon you is your problem, and it's on you to fix it.

Honestly that was the first time I've heard this line of reasoning and I'm still befuddled. It really stuck in my craw for some reason. I don't want to be a victim, nor play the victim, but it just felt insensitive. Perhaps I'm too soft. 

I've been medicated and seeing therapists / addictions counsellors for over half my life and while I feel she had a point about self reliance, I feel like it's utterly discrediting how hard it is to get your head fixed after years of trauma. I feel like complex mental disorders like cPTSD, depression, anxiety, what have you, aren't as cut and dry as ""just pull yourself up by your bootstraps."" well yeah, I've been attempting that for over half of my life to no avail yet. 

Am I just being oversensitive, or what?

Sorry for the ramble. ",4.194587438423647,5.93692851724138,5.168962438423648,80.60152247536948,71.70935960591133,9.212931034482759,26.973214285714285,9.673873057562805,2.5396997536945816,831,29,159,21,16,272,126,203,0.171,0.733,0.096,-0.8859,0,0,2,0,2,0,25.0,1,6,0,2,9,14,3,0,9,1,14,7,1,3,2,29,27,14,0,2,5,0,6,3,0,0,6,2,0,2,14,9,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,7,1,3,11,9,18,7,28,14,2,20,0,1,1,0,13,10,0,3,12,108,32,0,0.0,0.3271989911841051,0.0,0.3010501475613002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562906238693046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892612048259887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824900642457268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012629496203235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944870131951365,0.1972854726064055,0.1325762452517482,0.0,0.0,0.11744882088529535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213989918167832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369049776756895,0.0,0.1417075553789055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19505672557713155,0.20237336859730307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139098756005091,0.13914984514416184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181078824556655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610561138742196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212171087691768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691222030539228,0.2839337443390306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313435119540767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003004973472416,0.0,0.2880903089699534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629895914716407,0.0,0.15456668030204745,0.0,0.0,0.11026902939664178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031885176796404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051421712593552,0.0,0.13088151437802253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144180479277377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414843455618155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891751159512193
mentalhealth,ClintYeastwood22,2018/02/07,"My girlfriend has BPD and I don't know what to do during her episodes. Hi Reddit. I don't know if this where I should be asking about this stuff, but I figured I'd try. My girlfriend has BPD. Many nights that we're not together, she'll have breakdowns and I try to calm her over the phone. But I'm typically too afraid of saying the wrong thing and only speak up if I believe what i'll say can provide any sort of comfort. I usually just sit silently on the other side of the phone just ready to listen if she needs it.

She's in a school program for helping abused women and children with similar problems and it trying to be a social worker. But the thing is, she says she's completely unmotivated to do a lot of the work that comes her way in the program, which leads to bad grades. She wants to drop out because she thinks that school is just too much to handle in her life right now, and I kinda (to myself for the most part) agree with that. But she really wants to be in the school program because she knows that's what she wants to do with her life. And she thinks that if she drops out she'll hate herself even more than she does now. She works at a tea store and is afraid that if she drops out of school; One, that she may never go back, and Two, that she may drive herself to something darkly drastic without having anything else to do other than just work. She says being a social worker (/one who does it for work), needs the schooling. She says she can volunteer, but that's all that's available to her if she doesn't have the schooling; volunteering. And the idea of just working a part time job and volunteering as a future is one she thinks is... Bad.

She says she has ideas she wants to express; ones she wants to share with the world, but believe's she doesn't contain the creative ability to do so in a way that hasn't already been done before. She doesn't want to leave this world without leaving an impact / footprint behind, but also believe's that she'll never be able to do so because she's incapable of doing so. She's good looking, but believe's she's an eye sore. 

She loves spending time with me and I love spending time with her, but I hate feeling so helpless when she has episodes of extreme, existential depression.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but calling back to her school program... She's really can't take the stress right now of school, but is 100% of the mindset that if she drops it, she'll hate herself more than she already does and thinks she might kill herself if she doesn't follow through with finishing school. She says she's been a slacker her whole life through elementary school - high school, but really wants to apply herself to her school now. But she's unmotivated to do any school work.

She believes that she may kill herself if she leaves her program, because she'll feel inconsolably pathetic for slipping back into her slacker ways, and she has ""no means of  contributing anything else,"" out of her desired line of work because she ""lacks the creativity."" Despite all of that she remains unmotivated to do the work to stay in the program she believes to be right for her, because she wants to help people. 

I don't have the wisdom to offer her any solutions, but I try to always listen to everything she has to say and understand it, and empathize with it. I feel helpless just sitting there and listening, though. I've told her to talk with her program coordinator about her thoughts on dropping out. I've told her that the coordinator would know this struggle the most and attempt to accommodate her as much as possible, whether it be for her tuition or her well-being.

But ""talking to the coordinator"" is only a temporary fix because aside from the her doing that in the coming days, I really don't know how to help ease things when she has these episodes of manic depression and fits of not knowing how to proceed.",9.261457983529224,6.8881659221635925,8.468445670424561,75.25954385544097,61.28232189973615,11.140385384184857,38.40505317022468,9.178173031916092,3.315005628847845,3091,117,602,37,33,970,273,758,0.133,0.797,0.07,-0.996,1,0,1,0,1,0,82.0,0,0,0,12,31,24,5,4,37,0,62,8,1,3,5,126,109,58,2,24,36,0,3,0,2,11,4,12,0,2,42,37,1,1,20,0,4,7,18,17,0,5,6,17,103,7,100,85,13,66,0,4,2,2,120,28,0,19,20,436,145,33,0.04281906528795852,0.05073359054085954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450380661754328,0.034242391040678236,0.035628892483383925,0.0,0.0,0.08735529817237797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047288462235952,0.0,0.04003004589531072,0.0,0.0,0.0987756544298285,0.07150426192378685,0.1827147333714104,0.0,0.03643587078687428,0.28945454144951543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785822755548644,0.0,0.0437230531175076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376966657284925,0.04489497528761585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027614754777844287,0.0,0.07375999637825538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241375775824446,0.04381877025151469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153966925127779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028281588786473976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03848301489154885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649518179356489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048670123137787236,0.035914600426747094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268248863401744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610215062607965,0.045240693406545865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667502551113033,0.0,0.0,0.04249131520813666,0.0,0.09474590313760944,0.0,0.16472566926874094,0.0,0.0,0.13601762266499118,0.0,0.0,0.09073311636926336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03595723058472183,0.0,0.0,0.0364032380835573,0.0772917563806147,0.0,0.0,0.04341181148394272,0.0,0.04664251493771551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542426162974602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295387962289391,0.06349958870523008,0.06604940572343312,0.0,0.0,0.04018279212971716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606122722096165,0.06513165730494408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273775003881572,0.0,0.02968534844755125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827206242939088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04097206263949504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972395867318456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970174338955603,0.0,0.27241151478737385,0.0,0.5633573409386992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729728945806166,0.0,0.032964208408927144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563942633904167,0.0,0.0,0.04904909461683626,0.044763784054785226,0.04901758538309736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03219460819811951,0.06883268544219087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534125299768366,0.10974691231378476,0.04206951424115015,0.033993554902633144,0.07490442393363053,0.0,0.0,0.08183090370674938,0.0,0.11628533845303725,0.0,0.04182800493280473,0.044576157060208184,0.0,0.0,0.04715915098270829,0.0,0.20204635288452152,0.10196334288644446,0.0,0.0,0.03849948205688712,0.0,0.0,0.04780595723702776,0.0,0.08255210187136783,0.0,0.2493823160179205,0.0,0.0,0.030417435441565038,0.04681592604290205,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,feelinsky12,2018/02/07,"I have trouble controlling my thoughts Throughout my 4 years in high school, I've had severe social anxiety that caused me to act really awkward and stupid, causing many embarrassing moments. My condition got worse in 12th grade, where I started having trouble controlling my thoughts, this would lead to me sometimes blurting out stupid shit that I didn't think of myself, but just came to my head randomly. This caused me to become extremely embarrassed of myself because these moments would happen in a social setting i.e school and i could tell that people were laughing at me/ making fun of me. Fast forward a year later and my condition isn't as bad mainly because I don't know many people at my university. I still have trouble controlling my thoughts, so i decided to go to school counselling services a few weeks ago. As i was walking there, i distinctly remember a girl that was sitting on a couch in one of the lounge areas staring at me the entire time i was walking to the mental health services office, so i decided to play it off like i was lost then i just left. I haven't gotten any help whatsoever, i told my doctor about it and he said that he doesn't know about how insurance covers mental health services so he advised me to go to school counseling. i'm extremely under performing academically in school right now, and its even worse because my mom works 12hrs a day at a minimum wage job while i fuck around in university that costs a shit load of tuition money, getting nothing productive done every single day. i honestly don't know what to do anymore. One of the biggest issues I have with my condition is that when im in any type of situation with many people i.e library or computer labs, it gets increasingly harder to control my thoughts and random inappropriate thoughts/ phrases keep repeating in my head and i'm scared that i'll yell/ say it out loud in front of everyone. I've been ignoring the fact that my life has been completely shit for the past few years and i don't know what to do in order to get better mentally.",9.498759689922483,8.013722919896644,9.138152454780363,67.8404069767442,60.111111111111114,12.32093023255814,40.62144702842377,11.20814326018867,4.600161757105943,1658,74,284,36,18,536,205,387,0.14400000000000002,0.789,0.067,-0.978,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,9,15,22,6,4,14,0,27,10,5,10,2,50,55,19,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,2,4,4,1,1,19,14,0,6,13,1,4,10,7,16,0,2,21,5,42,6,49,31,5,59,0,1,1,1,13,27,4,3,22,181,61,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653218082389004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022356041625123,0.0,0.05637270822751081,0.0,0.07308075659339512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559979292183425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152813737293281,0.1347623633589526,0.0813849019853703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517288592643677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428181835415177,0.0,0.22710002794841294,0.0,0.0,0.07726264512163111,0.0,0.3305987553881051,0.058835531334093374,0.0,0.0,0.0950480085957412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542491769165051,0.0,0.07541053478523599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867160175245707,0.0,0.06208706922408984,0.07041402776783554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812528999442337,0.11550007345234115,0.0,0.08375953941238126,0.0,0.05893668736111024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516389290624602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125455991924594,0.1566582147329649,0.0,0.0,0.04939290618763364,0.07785761362676749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959792988251839,0.07691329649813171,0.07312603218167342,0.06549912747855077,0.0,0.0,0.16199255956308267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006448572502356,0.0,0.05204948160239379,0.036001250044753554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044142540075533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918869950131755,0.22413051994904906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22278680061025674,0.0,0.0,0.08630492912449067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070761759464733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986860838776013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034551797673555,0.1532622656135723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720775112357222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347649373107599,0.06293092426217498,0.07009613935454065,0.058601307995008116,0.0737766237512426,0.3728914670017145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324881347145115,0.22692541936738775,0.0,0.0828307355415701,0.0,0.1502355097038903,0.0,0.0,0.07288137172354499,0.0,0.05215821672612582,0.0,0.058848991747529035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440837648629755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047217626721991535,0.0,0.29250845468104336,0.0429692772769363,0.0,0.0,0.07041402776783554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059109735923175435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536472546723343,0.0,0.1501929706853655,0.10469463475481816,0.0,0.0,0.14236198327047692
mentalhealth,HadToChooseSomething,2018/02/07,"I don't know what the next step if for me. I'm a 25 y/o male virgin and never really dated before. I've had a few very short-term girlfriends back in high school, but they always came to me through friends. I was never really interested in them to take things further, so nothing ever took off beyond kissing and making out.

I don't feel shame or external pressure to have sex, but I'm really starting to crave women.

Why only now at 25 you may ask? Well, up until recently I've been fulfilling my needs through internet porn, and didn't have the drive to pursue real women. Many guys have girlfriends despite their porn use, but I'm not very outgoing, and mostly keep to myself, so porn has always been the easy answer for me.

I've also been struggling with negativity and depressive thoughts for most of my life, and I only recently realized that anesthetizing myself with porn has been a major crutch that has only made things worse in the long run.

So 29 days ago, I quit watching porn for good. I also haven't masturbated ever since, and I'm starting to genuinely crave real women for the first time in my life.

My brain is probably quite messed up seeing as I discovered porn at the age of 11, and have been consuming it on a regular basis up until recently, and I don't know what the next step is for me.

What do you think I should do?",7.623062463851934,6.2505004097744346,8.093759398496243,73.47856853672644,63.69924812030075,11.34251012145749,32.86755349913244,10.389873798559362,3.187334644303065,1063,33,203,21,13,354,146,266,0.102,0.815,0.083,-0.6584,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,3,3,11,10,0,3,11,0,25,12,1,3,4,41,46,22,0,3,6,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,5,8,13,0,1,7,0,0,6,9,5,1,1,12,3,24,5,35,32,4,43,0,1,2,9,14,15,0,5,22,135,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895619364572136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854623516815465,0.1857757131668211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436207535457498,0.0,0.0,0.08583912458958562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499172453146686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246196931853154,0.0,0.12767876705685258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199424968336339,0.0,0.0961496062271866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019574398395436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05644515568417813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495523636139168,0.0,0.0,0.0862476182997641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363272392612224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053452775142444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179467209889022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922481506770928,0.0,0.0,0.12270149530049435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576998163237802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879196635398672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563013699493767,0.07451610119596892,0.11317865468389485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277468478016471,0.17219698111915746,0.0,0.2374465830327563,0.0,0.0,0.10711517160293052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547064876744191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035958908768812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23747153255962786,0.0,0.25412629258484043,0.21454547054231415,0.0,0.3306732779096345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297886942292013,0.08895729476603452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923442275247488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802926262204448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670337368333306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393435609767208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832842143108713,0.07153011741965576,0.0,0.08862437848801137,0.06509428072600433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402871480585108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641533730231693,0.0,0.18421834368439244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037175220934816,0.0,0.10073169872178284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376387987462555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Elemental223,2018/02/07,Does this sound familiar to anyone? I've suffered from depression all of my life as well as panic disorder and a major emotional detachment from all of my friends and family members.  But the past few years I've gathered this new thing that i don't know how to explain fully.  When i think about things (which is a lot i tend to live in my head) I can physically feel and somewhat see the said things in my mind.  Its not really a hallucination because it only happens when i want it to and i have never heard things.  if someone could get back to me on this that would be great. thanks for reading and responding to my post.  ,5.13579268292683,5.842027731707318,5.851778455284556,80.49278963414636,68.4308943089431,9.402032520325204,30.00914634146341,9.516144504307137,2.5615536585365857,493,18,98,10,8,161,87,123,0.1,0.7829999999999999,0.117,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,5,0,7,2,1,1,3,22,19,12,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,13,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,2,5,12,4,17,14,6,11,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,3,7,73,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002301585330385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198973355033858,0.0,0.1046374192071486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705009328344944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784354998461893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967279752875726,0.0,0.15021375479160928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308530995653944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181815662483592,0.0,0.08679236996629319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326178501139829,0.0,0.08968104523440149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924685138482705,0.0,0.0,0.1517912288545723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616439485154844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433540794115496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124282975294008,0.0,0.0,0.1515717930525268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593232682953355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331951003537566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238854522782356,0.16578249712073562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305490225753768,0.0,0.20139654747920666,0.0,0.0,0.1638611835769654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164395093514296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169837471380536,0.0,0.10996461744262982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328028692047675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678435899324573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454401175513827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803402877974107,0.0,0.0,0.4561516421850088,0.10998762142770327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124475169001916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433569358301427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193660135359426,0.0,0.0,0.1105382107536656
mentalhealth,Mickey-ge,2018/02/07,"word vomit There's something relieving about screaming my thoughts, no matter how pathetic, into the abyss of the internet. I recently started seeking therapy, which at first I had very little hope for, but I'm starting to see the possibility of success.

Honestly, I've been feeling great. Lately, I feel like I've been processing my emotions in a healthy way and I've even made an effort to ""express myself"" to my friends. This was something we had discussed in therapy and even though I knew it would be hard, I've been trying to open up more. It feels weird but good weird. 

The past few days have been a letdown. I was going out on a third date and was stood up. Honestly, I was angrier than I was disappointed/sad/whatever. All of this I talked through with several of my close friends and my mom, which is UNHEARD of for me. I even left him a voicemail saying (not yelling) something along the lines of ""I wasn't going to say anything since you've already wasted my time, but fuck it I'm pissed off. You spent a lot of time lying about coming and then stood me up. I didn't realize someone would more through so much effort just to mess with a girl. Jokes on me, but I hope you grow up."" I'm not usually confrontational, but it felt good to speak my mind. I felt kind of immature leaving that voicemail, but I decided in the scheme of things at least I was expressing my myself. 

Then I went on with my life, it wasn't something that was bugging me. Although, this week I also received an email from my advisor stating there was a problem with my final internship application...which threw me for a loop. School has been a constant struggle for me and A HUGE proponent of why I sought therapy because I wasn't coping or being productive. The problem with my application didn't come as a huge surprise, I rightfully deserve it since I've been so shit with my classes, but it tipped my mood over the edge. The past few weeks have felt foggy, but now it feels like I'm swimming through sludge. 

All the unknowns that are in my head are just screaming. I don't even know if I will be able to graduate, but it doesn't matter - I'm 4 years in and under $20,000 of debt. Also, I've always desperately wanted to have a job that's impactful yet I'm slowly amounting to nothing. 

I use to self-harm when I was a teenager and sometimes the carving resurfaces. I usually just visualize an obscene amount of blood and trace my veins, which I think is weird since I use to burn not cut. I know it's an unhealthy thought. I try to redirect myself and think about anything else. 

Sometimes it's paired with passive thoughts of dying. Tonight was the first time it was more along the lines of ""If I slice my vein I'll bleed out."" This isn't how these thoughts usually appear. It's never been a deliberate act, usually, just a thought that passes like ""Oh, I could die in a car accident."" 

I know at my next appointment I should bring up these thoughts, but I know it will be such a pain in the ass. Last time I mentioned it they handled it like I was an imminent suicide risk. I'm glad they handled the situation seriously but I know that I'm not a risk. I don't want to kill myself nor would I ever act on a thought like that. ",4.079683861902851,5.411932982704407,4.8270694500200735,84.55671015656365,71.37421383647799,8.054275391409071,30.513046969088716,8.529434386809921,2.2507908871938977,2531,108,509,42,47,816,285,636,0.159,0.706,0.135,-0.9684,2,0,4,0,1,2,80.0,1,2,2,5,25,40,6,3,39,0,49,12,7,5,4,99,101,37,4,13,22,1,8,5,2,6,4,6,0,1,33,27,0,0,24,2,2,15,16,19,0,3,43,15,73,20,75,47,12,82,0,0,1,2,20,32,4,7,38,338,106,5,0.06693106950632302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386009954670436,0.10704950420535428,0.055692011565448465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015713461397493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080055873932748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153103797955663,0.0,0.07232870843827648,0.0,0.05343901277010543,0.0,0.0,0.0431650027623497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892776618894884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591232016527889,0.07528844451894541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768293606679039,0.06054298424451414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536943918407582,0.0956311388575544,0.1927929687581792,0.0733197150793456,0.0,0.11386306706065133,0.0,0.0,0.10342155654177733,0.06187669524571018,0.0,0.0,0.07607693845509085,0.11227721115763917,0.0,0.07379174041815344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059957091675823436,0.0,0.06869058692750749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329553082094966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641875885157762,0.0,0.07404931174578921,0.06969840926036465,0.1839178270099461,0.05455775481850076,0.07550116171531675,0.07087033852367856,0.07272080285628628,0.0,0.0472753937791994,0.1634956987094055,0.0670825150682001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056902401816580225,0.0,0.0633317962924404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758130029822727,0.07838885967422479,0.0,0.0,0.049202037274708274,0.0,0.05162136697282865,0.0,0.07118195173640289,0.0,0.0,0.06422216633224385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121937694600099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778655850432047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545472429039013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280879885583419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608635651310432,0.0,0.0,0.0571587676532492,0.0,0.10645254577570057,0.0,0.06773781561966083,0.05333539680175814,0.0,0.06982370261896023,0.07561305737064193,0.06870378102292718,0.16609821702665514,0.07523332642698906,0.0,0.0,0.05671047799317744,0.2061072290486714,0.13239307832953853,0.0,0.0947483109777992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997088614121189,0.0,0.07321172668775124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379665836533018,0.0,0.0,0.2296245332430828,0.0,0.04446602852982698,0.08577345356303169,0.06575943596236107,0.371950550405052,0.15611217949815998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088360544800682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561390859106625,0.2948604684437583,0.05522514193136875,0.07895535783808863,0.053126767589271616,0.1073761334761916,0.0,0.0,0.0620457719860527,0.060394879767553165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263773429328025,0.0,0.0,0.043101414340759835
mentalhealth,AidenXiaoLong,2018/02/07,"I think I’m going psychotic? I’ve never ever told anyone about my thoughts. Not even my therapists. Why? Because I know that society views homicide and suicide as morally wrong, and their probably right.
You see, ever since I can remember, I have been have very vivid plans set out in my head about killing someone. From ways to ending them, to finding the best way possible to leave the least tracks, to killing any alibis, to my escape plan, or how I would deal going to jail/escape jail or execution.
The “victims” weren’t anyone I had a grudge or anything, they were just random people I saw in the streets or in class, even my family. Although I do love my family. At least I think I do. I don’t exactly know if what I feel is love or attachment or something else entirely like dependence.
I also have depression and suicidal tendencies.
I don’t know if I should tell my regular therapist or my “at home” therapist or my group therapist.
Would I get sent to a mental asylum? If so, is it bad? 
I’m 17 by the way.",3.6688636363636364,5.41679733838384,5.088775252525256,80.61982954545458,73.0909090909091,9.192424242424243,28.536616161616163,9.673873057562805,2.8322313131313126,795,32,152,21,16,266,119,198,0.156,0.752,0.092,-0.9385,1,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,0,1,3,3,10,10,3,0,7,0,17,3,1,2,4,36,35,19,4,6,13,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,9,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,8,5,29,4,18,24,3,19,1,1,4,2,11,8,0,13,5,102,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696304485647725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739500804172911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520735536488331,0.0,0.0894875684834509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079722747340617,0.06628971981058468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141207848118941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211094312506012,0.09366159427996493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084218825031548,0.0,0.09631546897766112,0.0,0.0,0.14364961087728215,0.19673149515950167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502952661112356,0.0,0.054984554572893335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993906257837574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681458321463169,0.0,0.12360416352274185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160336774162856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907973481773577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24061965225312085,0.0,0.179289621476324,0.0,0.0,0.11514486636398877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312713547344381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629255647418056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958901448331868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387056595795497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538983727969904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259323612579835,0.0,0.0,0.11724510835954775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318647229709873,0.0928673236231925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665539441662018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995468532739792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213897585349652,0.08371693235785839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378979601719116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504760359594136,0.0,0.0,0.5050436082094502,0.0,0.1393583416395461,0.0,0.08633109283510641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391015833623232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897257120550538,0.0,0.25894928746700663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812511841721508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544981365104712,0.1188951867184148,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,workinparadoxes,2018/02/07,"Counselor Proposed No More Therapy I will try my best not to make this long at all but would like to have some other individuals insight. I have been in therapy for almost my whole life. I started when I was 6 years old due to trauma and only stopped for one year and returned. I have had success with stopping medication as therapy has been helping tremendously. I am mostly in a stable place with my relationships, education, work, etc. My main concern relies on the fact that I will not know where to turn if something comes up. I am also having a lot of issues with concentration as my ADD does not help with juggling school, work, parenting, etc. Does anyone have any experience with not needing/attending counseling and having a favorable outcome? If not, are there any other suggestions that can be provided. 
I know this is not a lot of information but would love PM's also to talk this over.",5.750309381237526,7.317793646706588,6.5129491017964085,73.15509231536926,67.62275449101797,9.638522954091815,32.47954091816367,9.928628108626363,3.4207888223552896,717,31,123,17,12,236,110,167,0.07,0.7809999999999999,0.149,0.9518,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,5,0,21,3,0,1,2,36,28,12,0,4,10,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,2,4,0,0,1,7,1,0,1,4,0,14,5,22,19,11,19,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,7,11,100,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019626386469227,0.0,0.0,0.2079539183517019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683613781669158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091301773970466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364479843488205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200073033085363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275627829717012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29001337236070085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271845237447625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429935096073496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570711560227378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291120006713978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918369818803184,0.06352121185923179,0.0,0.0,0.11506362195558224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107673471670325,0.11734814003306546,0.0,0.08678936976408178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098148650878452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643413422556858,0.0,0.0881049272400201,0.09888608048145148,0.0,0.0,0.14437184004173287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584324252834512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959283768621633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315871968138366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009575989969688,0.0,0.0,0.0920288359637887,0.0,0.0,0.21740510922645373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045051631424438,0.0,0.0,0.4460676561936969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827505557890197,0.14142444034402907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451627036818763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18931223918454565,0.0,0.0,0.1847249766749376,0.0,0.0,0.1674572538228148
mentalhealth,noobex10,2018/02/07,"I need help I'm starting to be sexually atracted to males. I'm 14 and this just recently started happening. Before this I was attracted to females, and right now i'm just paranoid. I'm not sure if this is going to be pernemant or not. I don't wanna be gay, (I don't have anything against lgbt people), I just think that's not me as a person. I'm not sure if this is becuase of my anti-depressant medication or my hormones. I need help and I feel paranoid.",2.2071842105263184,3.8034967052631568,4.5675657894736865,83.46608552631581,76.68421052631578,7.276315789473685,29.769736842105264,8.07648339933343,2.140815789473685,357,17,73,6,8,125,55,95,0.09,0.8170000000000001,0.093,0.3129,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,2,21,22,8,0,5,11,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,1,10,3,8,18,0,6,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,4,4,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19710993596062493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20381944618715775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630386056257705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111181714240885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361284543167572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21181253098626088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210991856309686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412977926703753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552117933098694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166057545758789,0.209145338437306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365035645819433,0.0,0.0,0.2045543590290678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.339076240039419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515018643223216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347893713990954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thegreatdangernoodle,2018/02/07,"am i mentally stable? i just don't care about anything.I go through severe mood swings and mental breakdowns and just cry for hours on end.i could care less about myself and others sometimes but other times i'm happy as can be and care about everyone.i also have very psychotic thoughts about suicide and killing/hurting others.i have basically no feeling of emotions sometimes and find others pain funny.I'm 15 M and live in a perfectly stable household(no drugs , abuse,etc.) i don't know whats wrong with me.location is florida",6.922556390977441,8.942608894736843,6.098646616541357,75.51052631578948,65.3157894736842,8.796992481203008,34.624060150375946,9.23628265651192,3.447932330827067,435,20,67,8,7,132,73,95,0.217,0.603,0.18,-0.4747,0,0,1,0,1,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,1,17,17,10,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,1,4,5,11,14,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320978443357152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052492822580738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318862416554117,0.0,0.1814472236100469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915613734509368,0.0,0.0,0.18581013145587916,0.1463042818835343,0.0,0.184224185920785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352215751904768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097547969807773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387805808329684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584178463760186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626732854301803,0.0,0.17683323541587134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078098460434604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586078453318124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33293389393192624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757677672463038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661126843023668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267430406543965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806848401090263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113790209951062,0.09632030778347928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629436691782176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806031273780214,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,orangegobble,2018/02/07,"Off my SSRI For A Few Days Had an issue with my insurance, and as a result I spent 3-4 days not being able to pick up my Lexapro prescription. I know when you first start taking something like Lexapro they say give it 30 days to start having a noticeable effect. My question is, what happens if you just suddenly stop taking it for a few days? Will it start working again immediately? ",5.161200000000001,6.059706720000001,5.836000000000002,79.93800000000002,68.46666666666667,8.666666666666668,29.666666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.296466666666667,304,11,58,5,5,99,55,75,0.031,0.929,0.04,0.168,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,3,3,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,3,0,11,14,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,9,1,8,10,2,14,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,13,40,13,1,0.20634636143906449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.532305330078527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551810962798065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794623237653575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18247140595124095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537199087462025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340256382335692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081040924181332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349267001528499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311551493950502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409490875284846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885551020689806,0.0,0.0,0.4381590500563907,0.0,0.0,0.17251479774149403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102935673612863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502226087009425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Acx0114,2018/02/07,"Emotional support hotline? I have a friend who has been diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder.  The combination of the mental illness and the required medications has him behaving like a child and not at all like the man he used to be.  His constant texts and calls to his friends and family are absolutely draining in every sense.  While his loved ones want to help and support him, none of us can handle the 20+ requests per day or the emotional energy he requires.  He is in individual and Group psychotherapy, but his parents can’t afford to keep him in a group home setting.  Does anyone happen to know if any hotlines or similar that accept random calls to provide emotional support to the mentally ill?  I have not provided him any suicide hotline numbers because of his inevitability high call volume and don’t want to
Take resources away from someone in a crisis.  Any suggestions??  ",8.771638888888889,9.141237274999998,8.674583333333334,64.53430555555556,60.625,11.611111111111116,42.15277777777778,11.20814326018867,5.187631944444443,724,39,110,18,9,235,107,160,0.106,0.716,0.177,0.4423,2,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,1,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,11,0,11,6,0,1,1,24,22,12,1,3,6,1,0,2,2,0,5,0,1,2,2,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,12,9,19,20,2,11,0,0,0,1,28,7,0,4,5,72,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25112902581865604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607176436931213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156529846515448,0.0,0.0,0.07503833515747065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770851212785048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133023322057276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938690166103672,0.0,0.0,0.12494010874745685,0.0,0.0,0.14107897400694835,0.0,0.1077223632111984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154001593011308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371390483052473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604419492935053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902077241606203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885361270431232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825088256808818,0.1300579529833122,0.12347558148577854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941360831954144,0.0,0.0,0.0676504830866614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202772257600062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111099177094986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400652759987195,0.2481041471248796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341320886399865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668382489748845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429905829918434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464732480139482,0.4190645178687887,0.0,0.0,0.09255306504080564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806963960076425,0.1063156423561346,0.0,0.0,0.14521072227919635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ughdemi,2018/02/07,"So I’m in a mental health hospital... ... and the patients here are treated really badly. So I was thinking if you could all leave bad reviews on google that’d be pretty cool as a sort of boycott thing and discourage people from accepting a placement in this “specialised personality disorder ward”. (Just google lakeside view hospital)
Also a lot of the girls here are pretty lonely so if you’d like to send one a letter or something that’d be pretty cool and I’m sure they’d appreciate it so much. The majority of us have been in hospital over a year so a little surprise would be nice, mail me if you’d like the address and a name of one of the girls, I could also give you a bit of back ground on each and you could choose which girl you’d like to send it to! ",4.651233766233767,5.224635292207793,5.740675324675326,81.33387012987014,69.45454545454545,8.757402597402598,28.387012987012987,8.841846274778883,2.05026961038961,601,20,122,10,10,200,88,154,0.11,0.6829999999999999,0.208,0.9391,0,2,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,6,1,0,11,14,0,0,14,2,18,1,0,0,2,24,22,17,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,4,7,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,2,3,11,10,17,7,6,12,0,2,1,0,18,8,0,6,5,87,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519823787220369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114479356638358,0.263092229554226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200176252695235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773681061204288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805638159414593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511345302989365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674663038402484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682073041436213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309101870808489,0.1579046240617383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339417932962447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877146779350373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158160094480027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351739192069485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922404200863783,0.13756495753929346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4808492890047519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092937171218012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212882540489484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848725594003745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466798257910416,0.10095048557420533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18951101210924476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119176772452064,0.0,0.0,0.10145583571348812
mentalhealth,nerd866,2018/02/07,"I've never experienced a life threatening trauma but I have experienced a few moderately traumatic events in my life, many of which were at least partly my own fault. I have a lot of PTSD symptoms. Does PTSD seem possible or do my experiences need to be more severe? 31/m

I've never had my life threatened. I've never been sexually assaulted. Ive never been beaten up or been in any more than a fender bender. I don't have abusive friends or family. I've never worked a dangerous job or been in the army. I've never seen anyone get seriously injured. I've never even broken a bone. 

I won't get into what I have experienced just yet but I am curious about a PTSD diagnosis. I score high risk for PTSD all the time and I have quite a lot of symptoms. I can identify events that may be culprits but they're not really of the same magnitude as what I've describe above. It seems a little unreasonable at first glance to attribute PTSD to what I've experienced, especially when most of those events were at least partly my own stupidity coming back to bite me rather than just some horrible thing. 

I won't get to talk to a psych about this for awhile but I'd like to discuss a bit about the criteria and whatnot of PTSD. ",3.230293191656827,5.223999475206616,5.04395513577332,79.4251101928375,74.9090909090909,8.576465958284139,25.16017316017316,9.23628265651192,2.185582605273514,971,33,189,24,21,331,131,242,0.151,0.746,0.104,-0.9147,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,4,10,10,4,1,15,0,22,7,1,1,8,34,30,12,0,2,12,0,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,8,0,1,8,6,17,2,29,17,16,26,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,11,16,132,26,4,0.0,0.10783695085537418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189278080226124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363924872492333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998430611685998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936394001719566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840067915582331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964714463409081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060114024408003675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890293573108285,0.08580009296086241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741663676892475,0.0,0.0,0.07031734945807097,0.0,0.14265349782308626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616150521843356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031755531258354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192858075025995,0.04446494353968338,0.09122014427759016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475404576506224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227411921035668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674858801983223,0.4913703633199128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711903073998974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260484165206857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6383444149487533,0.0,0.0,0.09680481079084303,0.0,0.0,0.05830603064437101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657118290050756,0.0,0.10282014613804083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891972166222292,0.0,0.07315377088573011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060465794012321765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307111518863517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625942563380481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Str8butboysrsexy,2018/02/08,"Parents never picking up on my bad mental health?? Hi guys

I've just thought about something lately and that is why have my parents never been concerned about my mental well being. They are really loving parents who really care for me but they have never taken me to a therapist or anything like that which is kinda weird to me. And here's why:

All my life I've been extremely neurotic. I've always been very hypochondriac and I've always been a worrier worrying about irrational things. I've also had a lot of trouble with self-esteem and being put down by my ""friends"" and generally have had trouble having good relationships. 

I've also had trouble in school. At first I had a lot of trouble concentrating and I never did homework on time because I just didn't care and had no motivation for it. When it was a subject I was really bad at I could also start crying since I thought that it was so difficult that I couldn't do it. When I turned 15 I actually had to start taking school so I kinda did. I didn't spend all my time on that but I was a bit more serious and I actually got good grades once I actually tried.

And nowadays I've had a lot of trouble with anxiety and being kinda depressed at times. I always feel like I'm wasting my time and like I never have enough time to do things even if I only work a few hours at night and always have the whole day to do stuff. I'm pretty comfortable but I feel way worse than my peers and I don't have any motivation to do anything except being comfortable. Some memories plague me and I can't come to terms with my problems and who I am and stuff like that.

Soo, lately I've kinda hid my bad mental health but shouldn't my parents have picked up on any of the things I've listed?? For example when I was a child, how would they not notice how bad I was at times?? I feel like everything that has happened to me has led to my mental health now and I feel like I've always suffered from something my whole life. I can't deal with life the way many people who are happy can. I'm worried and feel like eventually I'll have to get help since I don't know how I'm gonna be able to take care of myself and live life moderately happy.

Thanks if you read this far and comment what you think.

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mentalhealth,throwaway17151321,2018/02/08,"How come it's just as hard for me to start a fun activity as it is to do chores? I have this weird thing that started a few years ago I think, where getting started on fun things became equally as hard as pushing myself to do chores. Once I get started it's no problem and I still enjoy the activities a lot, but my mind seems to forget that the next time. I'm currently a student, but when I have a job later on, I will only have a few hours a day to spend on something I enjoy, such as drawing and gaming. This is extremely important for my general motivation for anything. It makes no sense to me because sometimes I'll feel ""too lazy"" to even play games or watch series. Instead I just spend my free hours browsing Reddit, Youtube and other sites with no real intention except to kill some boredom. Then afterwards when I go to bed I regret how I spent my valuable time. It's as if I get into some auto-pilot mode when I am tired or after a long day and I can't even bring up the motivation to do something I *want* to do. I also sometimes eat when I'm not even hungry, and sometimes even procrastinate going to the toilet. I don't feel like it's the real me controlling those things. It might be that I just created a lot of bad habits during some hard times and that they stuck to me even though there's no reason for them anymore. Man, it's such a waste because there are some things that I really enjoy doing but every time it's a fight to get started. Once I get through that initial barrier I just enter the zone and get really into it. I don't think it's depression or anything related, but I wish I knew what was causing this or at least how to get out of it, even if it takes a lot of work.",6.237749368686867,5.019621417613639,7.0883712121212135,79.07304292929295,66.35795454545455,9.86767676767677,32.05555555555556,8.841846274778883,2.4228707070707065,1337,44,278,18,18,449,171,352,0.159,0.718,0.123,-0.8448,2,0,2,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,2,4,28,16,2,0,18,0,19,2,0,10,0,62,49,33,1,6,16,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,29,12,1,2,9,3,4,6,8,7,0,0,4,6,35,10,40,42,11,43,0,2,1,0,6,10,0,15,28,202,64,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784458905620731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022732884188146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709099791180737,0.0,0.0,0.1445320344870516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332363720968624,0.1070650173221797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021238504626244,0.0,0.07564668347506877,0.0,0.0,0.09849438093308463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132695705955688,0.0,0.07563676722922451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985884974642798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34801432531726073,0.0,0.07398972134661974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880596123532232,0.0627365767448103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211657891589841,0.0,0.0998169998792394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360007040542809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296437147999374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714495323942037,0.0,0.09715664551814772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042903014947076455,0.0,0.0,0.0777153984965677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397695611556026,0.0,0.0,0.05861861761213536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316009957021527,0.08867026960724897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339451629051583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704475936786294,0.0,0.0667888861811275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402913549161409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991024397591864,0.11251580706529596,0.0902906377587408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994541891599533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352118373507242,0.2605601674829364,0.0,0.31078709059158555,0.0,0.07013087516200164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660275543894989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336720191557525,0.11253934474501924,0.08627988645190557,0.0,0.20482750382120413,0.10093287496858187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051796819797382466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009853680490314,0.0,0.0,0.06393191809216611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655135389795352
mentalhealth,One_two_bucklemyshoe,2018/02/08,"Freedom of will: Does it really mean anything? Is people's destiny pre-determined? I was listening to a psychologist/sociologist's seminar on Youtube and he was saying that people 'write' their destiny (e.g., the type of jobs, level of education and relationships they want, whether they want to get married or not, or their outlook on life) between the ages 6 and 7. If they're somewhat smart they can rewrite their destiny between the ages 22-28 with the help of someone knowledgeable (e.g., a psychologist). After that it becomes very difficult (and almost impossible) for people to change themselves. 

This is somewhat true for me. I kind of knew what I wanted/expected from life when I was about 6-7. I want to know if this is also true for other people as well? Did you guys know what you wanted from life when you were at that age and did life give you that? ",7.623576388888887,7.708023593749999,7.568333333333335,72.46555555555554,63.0625,10.361111111111112,35.90277777777778,9.994966539143718,3.5679444444444446,685,29,120,13,9,220,94,160,0.018000000000000002,0.848,0.135,0.9381,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,4,6,0,5,6,0,0,6,0,11,4,0,0,2,27,22,14,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,11,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,7,2,16,5,23,14,2,10,1,0,0,0,18,4,0,7,6,84,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211699444331334,0.0,0.0,0.1294693996016833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322787607641998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880310687222425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126612432859115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167762317998756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458477954121868,0.155306867060498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030401234452904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851650451560127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065832148660505,0.0,0.0,0.1685913683975843,0.17794930161167802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4574120651159418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635387662400118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44895746163350825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371570602693332,0.0,0.0,0.17381736326183295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874741728099764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717525534385278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133582420990128,0.3819654411485675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556532635117725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PacificSocialAnxiety,2018/02/08,"Help with social anxiety and social media research! 
Hi! I am a graduate student at Pacific University working on a research project regarding social anxiety, social media, and beliefs about counseling or therapy. I am looking for participants who experience social anxiety (nervousness or anxiety about interacting with others, meeting or talking to strangers, or things like public speaking, making phone calls, or completing tasks in front of others). 
To participate you must:
Be aged 18+
Live in the US
Read English
Use the social media site Facebook
Never had mental health treatment  
Click here to participate in the online survey: https://pacificu.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_d0UMpNdtNTksTTD
The survey takes about 15 minutes. I would greatly appreciate your help with my study, and if you know anyone else who might like to participate, pass the link on! Participation is completely voluntary and you can withdraw at any time. Nothing will be posted to any social media sites if you participate, and all of your answers will be anonymous. At the end of the survey you will also be able to enter to win one of two $25 Amazon gift cards! 
This study has been approved by Pacific University’s Institutional Review Board. If you have any questions about this study, please contact the primary investigator at snyd9572@pacificu.edu or the faculty advisor (Dr. Bjorn Bergstrom) of this project at bpb@pacificu.edu. 

Further information about the survey:
How will your responses be kept private? An anonymous methodology is being used. This means we are collecting no information about your identity; we will not know who responded and there is no way to link answers to identities. Your answers and participation in the survey will not be linked or posted to any social media account. However, we cannot guarantee the privacy of data transmitted via the internet. The survey has been built using Qualtrics. Only the investigator is the formal owner of the survey account, but all gathered information is available to any person who gains account access. Once the survey period is closed on May 1st, 2017, all data will be transferred to a secure storage device and the account will be deactivated.

Are there risks to taking the survey? The study has been reviewed and approved by the Pacific University human subject research ethics committee. Any potential risks (e.g., emotional, financial, social, legal) due to participating are minimal, no greater than what one faces in normal daily living activities. One way to avoid potential risk is that you are free not to answer any question, which is equivalent to withdrawing from the study. You may also withdraw at any time simply by closing your browser or navigating away from the survey. If you do skip questions, the entire survey will be excluded from the analysis. However, once you submit your survey, withdrawing is impossible due to the anonymous methodology.
Are there benefits to taking the survey? At the end of the survey, participants will be thanked and given the option to enter a drawing for one of two $25 Amazon gift cards. To enter the drawing, participants will follow a link to a separate page to provide an email address. If participants choose to participate in the drawing, their responses will remain anonymous, but their participation will no longer be anonymous though we will maintain confidentiality of their participation. Responses will not be connected to emails provided in any way, emails will only be used to notify participants of winning a gift card, and storage of emails will be shut down at the conclusion date of the study. Except for your time, there are no additional costs. It is important to understand you are receiving no services of any sort from Pacific University as a result your participation in this study. Any past, current or future relationships you may have with Pacific University will not be affected in any way as a consequence of your choosing whether or not to participate.

 
Please read this material carefully to be sure you understand the nature of the project before agreeing to participate. If questions remain, or you later have concerns about any aspect of the project or your treatment, you may contact any of the investigators or the Pacific University Office of Scholarship and Sponsored Projects (houses the IRB Office), as listed above. Please note that if you do initiate such contact, some degree of anonymity will likely be lost; however, your privacy will be protected by strict adherence to rigorous confidentiality practices.

Thank you so much for your help!

Meredith",10.703565585072155,11.620101554677213,10.1832815516132,53.492192297086156,56.5098814229249,13.121071176885133,42.81585317277936,12.47152517441456,6.160885749302938,3756,191,490,115,43,1215,322,759,0.056,0.8420000000000001,0.103,0.991,4,1,2,0,0,0,106.0,5,30,3,8,18,19,0,5,52,0,79,3,1,8,6,103,100,43,0,10,30,0,0,3,0,27,2,1,1,2,18,23,0,4,24,2,7,7,14,6,0,6,7,3,42,14,101,47,7,56,1,1,2,0,83,28,0,32,18,363,60,19,0.055019137259732585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799756837748272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238086003251713,0.0,0.16835795763877756,0.0,0.0,0.038470660030664856,0.0563736079834292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169229057476609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468172334570943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618069065050863,0.0,0.056095677269577385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537303726787655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045961429279013366,0.06188912404377901,0.09746125013399608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381927358473222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065879306347249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058482770096247916,0.0,0.0,0.11063450385468013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634846973869607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047415792640834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063871402340762,0.0,0.09716581239533212,0.0,0.04620221837436998,0.0,0.060059887647078064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036725701351474016,0.0,0.0,0.059931969888632,0.0,0.0,0.055446349718621314,0.058366610030411416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04044539646897345,0.0,0.042434150476928716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390707284560406,0.05279234607505106,0.0,0.0,0.1171871711024511,0.14912956525463533,0.0836890662866086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252199205956109,0.0,0.04804058846814442,0.0,0.18118347232306087,0.0,0.0,0.1053862496011218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24653610180794905,0.0,0.11006805243930527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906996307963117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5047657354166669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185488574255411,0.0,0.12410263200960925,0.044222298441494716,0.0,0.10130845906909228,0.06291917842186223,0.0,0.036552270046224425,0.0,0.05405602301026944,0.0,0.09624630416499456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074914050188729,0.1145537244829438,0.06618124779576418,0.19007547773624406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746865209069406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040054587199847495,0.0,0.0,0.039084016533148164,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fa_Ling,2018/02/08,"Everything is just getting harder and harder... It’s just gettin hard to stay motivated and strong and optimistic... I don’t know.

Stress from my uni courses is really getting to be too much I suppose. I’m starting to have a hard time managing my own emotions and I just feel extremely overwhelmed all at once like a wolf is coming out of no where for my throat.

I’m having another one of those mental collapses. Each time this happens the words “Dysthymia” flash in my head. I’ve never been diagnosed, nor have I ever said anything about it before but I just feel like that’s exactly what’s going on. After a really really bad first year of uni 2 years ago I suppose I never recovered and my mental stability just kept slipping further and further. People think I’m fine but I don’t feel fine.

That being said I don’t want to go to a doctor because, what I it is dysthymia or depression or anxiety?  It’s sounds so bad but I want to work in healthcare and I panic thinking a confirmed diagnosis like that could hinder my already low chances in the future.

I don’t know, I guess I’m just tired of having to keep supporting myself and motivating myself since I don’t have a significant other (never have) and my family and friends aren’t very...helpful. It’s exhausting....

Everyone says I’ll do better or to chin up but that’s even worse because then I don’t do better and they just give me a sad smile. I know they are trying but it makes it worse. I just want someone to acknowledge my struggles and tell me it’s okay, and for it to be said so I can believe it.

Anyways sorry. I don’t know where or who to unload this onto so...yeah.",1.8365661861074685,4.24608542201835,3.78704761904762,84.552,81.62996941896024,6.672922673656617,24.021756225425953,7.859703344183488,1.541162411533421,1291,48,247,24,35,436,164,327,0.156,0.6920000000000001,0.152,-0.7592,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,2,7,17,21,0,4,9,1,27,6,2,3,6,60,59,26,0,4,17,0,5,3,1,0,4,5,0,0,21,16,0,2,12,0,0,3,13,10,0,2,5,10,34,11,28,50,4,31,0,4,0,0,10,13,0,5,17,169,55,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126678654396073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361762407087997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796130558543247,0.07876321962626393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472634065014864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193263724499372,0.12552548867864638,0.0,0.08761037714622075,0.11599933890886947,0.0,0.18211742842598733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868991149137727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220424425225012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867828545668739,0.10450104052266117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538272054386033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581482070472687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800333315403856,0.09313215208534537,0.0,0.09838156988067713,0.0925327534531378,0.0,0.09706041749366166,0.0,0.15617722707823425,0.0735538054434734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757672429532842,0.0,0.0,0.07954573310965178,0.0,0.10758347361352896,0.09876748704098,0.1170277463326228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134207538672973,0.0,0.0910461492813688,0.0,0.18446176878219372,0.0,0.10566545849024493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901113039194888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091514534694718,0.0,0.0,0.2263339113528892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090144432928773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872581544808362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751655967375712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568658326901301,0.0,0.23822458009422576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964778884674456,0.06976756469166555,0.0,0.0,0.1207999978978482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713786858126591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787417990289316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938122608897765,0.08187699042893698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516860432447115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723667865400607,0.0,0.0,0.11525397568083501,0.07287478654980205,0.10974040877708413,0.0,0.0,0.11793898664306728,0.10763491907388427,0.0,0.0,0.11683645495548192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999055150033812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194371605230873,0.0,0.0,0.1200722381364507,0.1183360239511893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990228405709321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218334839009911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495525113056567,0.0,0.20984767821815206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260421584986054
mentalhealth,PotatoBoy13,2018/02/08,"I need to raise my self-esteem Hello everybody!

I'm a 19 year old boy with an extremely low self-esteem. I would really like to increase it.
So let's begin with the reason that I have a low self-esteem. 
My dad kept dissapointing me again and again which caused me to feel that I'm worth nothing. At the time I thought 'if even my dad leaves me then I must be worth nothing'. He left me when I was 11 years old. I haven't spoken to him in years. 
I think that I'm not good at anything and that I'm ugly. I was able to talk to anybody before, but I feel that it starts to effect my social skills. I usely don't say anything because I think that everything that I say doesn't matter. This is especially with girls. One of my friends tried to introduce me to a girl and I started to panic. I looked at her and turned around and started talking to another friend of mine because I didn't know what to do.
I really want to raise my self-esteem to a point that I'm atleast able to talk to girls again, but I have no idea how to do this. 
Are there any ways to raise it?

Thanks in advance! ",2.20796700630762,3.4415706724890818,3.6450291120815166,91.58919335274142,75.8995633187773,6.660941290635615,22.329209121785546,7.1686216300943375,0.502723241145075,840,22,193,9,18,277,118,229,0.073,0.828,0.099,0.7747,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,9,8,0,1,7,0,16,0,0,5,1,31,38,12,0,5,4,2,2,1,2,2,0,2,0,4,15,9,0,1,9,0,2,2,6,3,0,1,5,5,32,5,29,29,1,28,0,2,1,0,18,10,0,1,16,119,47,0,0.22362185127863074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603526359474819,0.11724350450702126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402172978574072,0.09953542911181146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631780495647072,0.0,0.0951428624552569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486062036854372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385006187081344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048845035451212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306992709130875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276968757988376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378169959282164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622092537414265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144836062304624,0.0,0.0,0.11839162602885853,0.12148289786146925,0.1143342468881813,0.0,0.05462517047936391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389301723582134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290638461045788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145711974165269,0.0,0.2346535156725907,0.0,0.07576597690269972,0.0,0.0,0.13118603022799658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056974652141768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325788409385046,0.11496025364058475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778330716606617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4665727219943913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397715800739384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23742104596555025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696081601188821,0.0,0.10294047805706136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328785284474493,0.0,0.08876538555602627,0.06519784989993037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591227904717687,0.12161817978002674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656874028529533,0.0,0.0,0.06594898086326015,0.08875030840228944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942727356199263,0.0,0.0,0.2160077107395727
mentalhealth,Taroxi,2018/02/08,"Girlfriend (17) Told Me She Is A Closeted Pedophile. What Should I Do? TL:DR Gf told me she is a closeted pedophile, What should I do?

So she explained to me that she gets turned on by the idea of having intercourse with very young boys, from 12 all the way down to even toddlers. She says she likes the how ""taboo"" it is.

She swears that she would never do it in real life and feels terrible and almost suicidal when she does get off to the idea. She does not watch or look at pedophilia images, but imagines them.

She says that she tries to push these feelings to the back of her mind and hates that she gets excited by them. I can tell she is not lying and actually means it. She gets visibly upset afterwards and sometimes turns to suicidal thoughts over it.

Should i advise her to seek help? She is really worried this will tear us apart, and i still love her, but this does worry me.

Any advise on how to deal with this is much appreciated.

I am only 16, and i am at the age of consent in my country, but i look rather young for my age. I look between 12-14 and she has told me that my baby face is one of the reasons for her attraction to me. 

I posted this on r/relationships, but it got removed after an hour due to it's subject matter. A moderator recommended me to post this here as i may get a more helpful response. 


She was beaten as a child, could this be a cause? I really want her to help her self and don't want to lose her.


EDIT: She has never acted on these feelings, and cries at the thought of it.",2.6754368932038846,4.183088478964404,4.047228478964403,88.06047378640775,75.2135922330097,7.2740970873786415,24.0104854368932,7.976525956113202,1.1418832621359214,1176,36,254,18,25,388,160,309,0.094,0.764,0.142,0.9264,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,2,2,10,9,2,1,15,0,26,3,1,4,3,50,51,21,2,8,8,0,3,1,2,6,1,2,2,3,22,12,0,1,11,0,0,3,5,5,0,1,7,9,51,4,41,36,3,32,0,1,4,1,48,13,0,3,14,187,73,4,0.0,0.0,0.1002397354641496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285907076526213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698530060449585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898520788477227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552155972910636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201342496454278,0.0,0.11283290866266467,0.0,0.10589963315293033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26967244338384444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784547819518312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581469558733302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683343549012224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215443078268267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141456485775756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20655280815248608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115834010360017,0.0,0.0,0.2319163673884924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255405291746994,0.05018371980715342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587763568037227,0.11491721379143835,0.0,0.0,0.09270865600549924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189200698967576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371774502757077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755108933148048,0.0,0.15844772900301676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696056144527133,0.07812305858877545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675440334927385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691765348708677,0.13160990533196346,0.10561309204220852,0.0,0.11028265438409483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633738615797177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715918387418492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015925372921426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820321880245894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247176413629189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978165799254073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309614041389212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944595953419513,0.0,0.06974002109641247,0.22345935413940854,0.0,0.0,0.12355930657226287,0.0,0.0,0.08475461650890075,0.12117363289362895,0.08153421894292291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863394471427327,0.0,0.07296921925373141,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fashionstudy,2018/02/08,"Bodytherapy triggering Mental Health Hi Guys,

I have had a psychotic episode 2x. In between my recovering fases I noticed that massage therapy was a trigger for me too sliding back and loosing it. After I noticed it the second time I called up some masseuse therapists and came to find out: They have a contra-indication for massages. Meaning they dont do massage therapy on people who have psychiatric problems. The reason being that massaging the body does something to the mind. It can release emotions that are ""stuck"" in your body and these emotions can trigger you.

That was really a bummer for me because whenever I was stressed and needed relaxation I would take a massage.

I have been looking into things like: Meditation, Reiki, Breath therapy and Bio energetica. But often their is a contra -indication.

I wanted to know if any of you also feel their is a body mind connection? And that things that happen to your body can be a trigger. Would love to hear experiences. I would do anything to stay stable & healthy. But I need to find a way how to cope with stress and how to relax my body in a way it wont be triggered.",6.429261790840743,7.6778717655502415,6.831185919343818,72.6758014354067,65.79425837320574,9.607792207792206,35.981203007518786,9.784248007369934,3.7794303485987686,905,44,149,19,14,294,123,209,0.053,0.86,0.087,0.7968,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,4,0,6,7,0,2,14,0,25,8,6,8,0,38,38,13,0,8,3,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,1,14,11,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,3,0,1,7,3,22,4,23,24,1,15,0,0,1,1,14,7,0,3,4,116,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926210897318063,0.0,0.1073908975320051,0.0,0.0674014961445341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156307563271738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621320092215174,0.0,0.06041949202790384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5504712672362395,0.0,0.0,0.10120734258081206,0.11336098281199268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673607232366735,0.0,0.11616186491347855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229817293664192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695334101577356,0.0,0.0,0.05011544574584728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117835282300432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813928337028414,0.08764693367989725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535444971700872,0.1117096383230828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447092895865574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842250875965491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323151048635283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945502096642527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796512712516428,0.0,0.0,0.09988445577746233,0.0,0.2001554861388853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698480937639585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256858251361976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687137566054161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483952478463707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349551027986904,0.10190657237447558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630345310930918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564324143314613,0.0,0.0,0.2270714494170159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452203148771877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34003940348784223,0.11507997901916887,0.13169500317067032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057794665539445775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058460505944744376,0.15734550751307708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112250350558108,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CancerSurvivorship,2018/02/08,"Exploring the emotional impact of cancer: a research study Hello,

We are currently looking for people to take part in our research study on cancer survivorship and the emotional impact that cancer can have.   

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is a huge event in anyone’s life. Some people cope well emotionally, whilst others find it a distressing time. We believe that at such a difficult time, everyone deserves the best possible support. Our research study will compare those who are coping well with cancer, against those who are struggling. By studying the psychology of coping with cancer, we can create information and support systems to benefit everyone. To do this work, we need your help.

Anyone over 16 years of age who has been diagnosed in the last 12 months can take part. However, if you've been told that the cancer is Stage 4, palliative or terminal, then I'm afraid you can't take part. 

If you decide to take part we will ask you to complete an online questionnaire now, and then (if you’re willing to do so) again every three months for a total time period of two years. The questionnaire should only take around 20-30 minutes to complete, but you can take as long as you need. The questionnaire will include questions about your experiences and how this impacted your life. Some of the questions will ask about current mood, general coping strategies used, and quality of life. If there is a chance that this could be distressing, there is no obligation to take part and there is always the option to stop the questionnaire at any time. Any answers/personal information you give within the questionnaire are completely confidential and anonymous. 

If you would like to take part, please click the following link. This will take you to the survey and study information sheet. 

Link: http://www.domystudy.com/survey/index.php/841983?lang=en

As a thank you for your time, we will enter you into a prize draw where you could win a £50 Amazon voucher, or even an iPad Mini.

Thank you,

Rosie

This study is a collaboration between researchers at the University of Chester, University of Edinburgh, University of Sydney, McGill University and CanTeen. The Principal Investigator is Prof Nick Hulbert-Williams at the University of Chester.

No conflicts of interest.
",8.816831168831172,10.424867150649352,7.794181818181817,66.61127272727275,60.6103896103896,11.25090909090909,36.43896103896104,11.126944784690435,4.564139740259741,1843,81,274,49,25,567,196,385,0.095,0.7859999999999999,0.119,0.802,3,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,8,16,0,4,15,18,0,4,30,0,34,11,0,2,1,52,57,24,0,11,8,0,0,1,0,9,11,0,0,0,16,19,0,2,10,0,0,4,3,5,2,2,3,2,24,12,47,42,10,42,0,0,2,0,39,14,0,12,23,196,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172063545752862,0.0,0.0,0.10088487438101017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037316069838179,0.0,0.0,0.06603264582552604,0.13868968120212274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835713049582976,0.07784346531500344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331736215718465,0.0,0.0,0.11844750202702915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528739739490853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503151084527061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04899275587821757,0.0,0.06249674381296212,0.1417572937244641,0.0,0.07255866849172868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779580725445583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115667948720805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049718819760113483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046359615825081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717877287273305,0.036238800270513766,0.0,0.0,0.06564370377080958,0.06228942204748353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841365243516902,0.0,0.0,0.11000159401548344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056414429372705126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4819543183358746,0.0,0.102849033032138,0.06476789634330025,0.0,0.08142331813386354,0.0,0.08362264893237918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618889563943048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062014719968709726,0.0,0.07754518888380905,0.0,0.0,0.16834880438416702,0.0,0.0,0.5019422115067759,0.0,0.0,0.13658316821071795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162640262590193,0.0,0.0,0.07087864686223205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245948061892021,0.0,0.0,0.06406451935735331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338682915529732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400124008792367,0.0,0.0,0.05269272530200855,0.0,0.0,0.09553422860668803
mentalhealth,Cressela,2018/02/08,"Last night, my LD boyfriend confided in me he sees & hears a demon. I'm the first person he's told. I need advice? So,  this is comepletely uncharted territory for me, and I really don't want to screw things up. I care a lot about him and want to help him any way I can, I just don't know what is good and what is bad in this situation. I don't know what kind of things are appropiate to say here? I don't want to invalidate him and shut him down, he really doesn't have anyone else to talk too and isn't in a position for getting any professional help at the moment. I don't know if this is relevant, but he did tell me earlier on that he has ADHD and is ASDNOS, and is on meds to help with them. Recently, he's also told me a few subjects are triggering for him, without going into why, though I suspect they're related to his fears surrounding sex. I'd never press him for information and only know what he's trusted me with. I don't know if the demon could be caused by his meds, conditions, trauma, or a combination of them or if its a symptom of something that isn't diagnosed?


He told me the demon watches him judgingly and constantly puts him down. I don't know how I can help him with this. He sounded scared when he told me. Any advice is appreciated.",5.135517241379309,4.801660712643682,6.703279693486589,77.99468965517242,68.3103448275862,10.791417624521074,29.660536398467432,10.504223727775694,2.8218278927203055,990,32,212,25,15,343,132,261,0.079,0.823,0.099,0.7259,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,1,9,9,1,2,10,0,26,4,0,3,1,39,46,20,0,8,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,13,13,0,0,8,0,0,2,12,5,0,1,5,6,33,4,30,39,2,23,3,0,2,2,37,12,1,6,8,139,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990774410967895,0.21125602442913674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644257434957002,0.0,0.11711958922917988,0.0,0.2205224760188088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558169961497993,0.1107548740109969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025380952976299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020883514107943,0.11104211038940974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681099885881333,0.0,0.08630410516775493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097129336014874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902985012181372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216355790361313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919445327012372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05647455010086198,0.0,0.06143219865901003,0.09066395258252072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182957079244575,0.0,0.2898119876543662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256306078687066,0.3564331598589155,0.0881108756598609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189748492927297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401356918800704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015018447891432,0.08336860381931578,0.0,0.0,0.10143871063559913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822102072604248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438333847227752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866412664727687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849531483167185,0.0,0.10672958887165926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859605298616296,0.10822075284734474,0.0,0.08613676518586241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150196232118925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321588971045654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123508485819954,0.0,0.08688170347025068,0.09447874731330383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436254378103852,0.0,0.10620161157323453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131530400058816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912695749750472,0.0857998286190706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753784332574113,0.0,0.0,0.10419856772343618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chusuak,2018/02/08,"Off meds since September, psychiatrist rescheduled, can't deal Hi everyone-

I was hospitalized in August for a week due to mental health issues, and that was the last time I got a prescription for my mental illness.

I have OCD and severe depression, and medication has always helped, but I got new insurance and very few places will accept it.

I waited months to get an appointment at a place that takes my insurance. I started seeing a new therapist at the end of November, and scheduled my psychiatrist appointment then as well. The appointment was supposed to be next Tuesday.

They just called me to reschedule the appointment for the following week, because Tuesday is Mardi Gras and they're concerned that the parades will be too difficult to deal with, logistically. I wish they'd considered this before scheduling my appointment.

It's completely crushing me. I've waited so long for this appointment. I know it's only an extra week, but it seems like such a huge deal right now. Things are really bad for me right now, the worst they've been since I was hospitalized. I spent all day yesterday fighting off thoughts of how badly I just want to die. I have never self harmed before, but I keep having intrusive thoughts of doing so as well. I would never actually make a plan to kill myself, but I just can't stop thinking about how nice it would be to not exist.

This appointment was the only thing keeping me going. I've been desperately hanging on to the idea. And now that it's been postponed, I feel like I can hardly breathe.

I don't know how to deal with disappointment.

I'm seeing my therapist today and I intend to tell her about all of this, but I just don't know what to do.

I guess I'm going to go sit in my bathtub and try to fight off these thoughts. ",5.76114600908501,7.021170853731348,6.222972096041534,76.3892147955873,67.32835820895522,9.766385463984427,30.68462037637897,9.971965246562196,3.0680058403634,1416,54,255,33,23,458,172,335,0.158,0.7509999999999999,0.091,-0.9818,0,0,0,0,3,2,35.0,0,0,2,1,18,16,3,0,17,0,29,4,1,5,4,51,60,22,2,4,10,0,2,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,18,11,0,5,11,0,1,5,7,10,2,0,14,4,35,6,37,38,5,47,0,2,2,0,14,13,0,2,30,174,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0903234409281482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701582805222322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456444355916354,0.05642261300994497,0.0,0.15752040346264587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094512259744998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970455003273635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059692374851859874,0.3816937151763428,0.0797202326854476,0.0,0.09606078728107616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819790828581872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844331622399165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04680020149512228,0.06612358882060057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048357833630918855,0.0,0.15780885568959782,0.0,0.1480544784246599,0.0,0.1019632804479076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291395719456122,0.0,0.0,0.0983850268471832,0.0,0.0,0.0620398031423266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448692932543208,0.0,0.0966067020969534,0.0,0.16453994261146854,0.10240192265451084,0.0,0.15260268044824196,0.07544727773172817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904385118449817,0.0,0.0,0.08191108475872103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178330998172435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281128239217964,0.09324263795021116,0.1865537694834619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738790635204833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277316300302584,0.17878655168946572,0.09843668420757128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078934735603324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340721530448834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059295146055439715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808837560432876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751378640198787,0.08426149915693687,0.09655837747127904,0.10456440809498628,0.0,0.1531301810646281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551316267261496,0.0,0.0,0.07738279060823147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959223922976047,0.0,0.08089993698178455,0.0,0.0,0.21493438304288967,0.12298309618045955,0.059307550269508826,0.0,0.2204425899979323,0.053971424424841916,0.0,0.08773434076634484,0.0,0.0,0.0628409347516933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637019952399468,0.0545932180588764,0.0,0.22273378892940196,0.0,0.16644185566956246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643734963309977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150136389166134,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Niggalodean_13,2018/02/08,"What is wrong with me? To start this off, I don’t know if this is the best place for this, but as far as I can tell I may be able to get some answers here. 

I am 14 year old boy in highschool, living in a family of 5 with my parents still together. And the problem is that for years (about 2, ever since highschool) I’ve been feeling empty and unhappy. I used to be a really outgoing and happy person, excited to participate in things, excited to do my best, excited to make my parents proud, excited of what is yet to occur in my life.  But I’ve lost all that drive, I just don’t see the point in, just about anything anymore. Nothing excites me, nothing makes me happy. I don’t see the reason for me to go about in this life. 

I wake up, go to school, come back and repeat. Everyday is filled with this. Just all day of me trying to figure out the point of me doing this all is, to grow up into a life where I work longer than I spend at school? Doing the same stuff everyday. To one day just die and lose everything I’ve created anyways? What’s the point of this process? Why is every being caught in this endless loophole of stresses and problems. I just want this to stop, I want to sit in a room, by myself forever, not having to talk to anyone, not having to live up go anyones expectations. I just want to be with myself. Alone. 

On top of this my parents are always fighting, arguing, swearing at eachother. And it seems half that anger than later is transferred to me and my younger brother. We don’t deserve this? Right? Why are people like this? 

All in all I’m a kid, and have no where as much experience in life as an adult and I haven’t ever claimed I do, but is there really much point in all of this? No happiness, no drive to do anything, just wanting to be alone 24/7. How can someone keep living life like that? And I’m only 14, I’ve got a lot left too. Idk, I just thought maybe someone with more knowledge than me could give me some insight, or recommend something. Idk, maybe its just something I’m gonna have to live through, but as of now I don’t see any point in that.   ",2.8869569228585625,4.192682365339582,4.158002980625933,88.29823646299059,74.29274004683843,7.1429706905116745,26.054148037754594,7.686295010490155,1.2913940671350512,1618,56,346,21,33,532,198,427,0.145,0.72,0.134,-0.6497,3,2,2,0,2,0,61.0,1,0,0,7,25,22,3,1,14,0,37,6,1,5,8,73,66,23,1,9,17,4,1,2,0,2,5,0,1,4,25,20,0,2,9,0,1,9,11,9,0,2,5,4,35,13,73,53,15,61,0,2,3,0,14,34,0,7,19,245,60,6,0.07715844656425401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982576174120802,0.0,0.0,0.06420200857574107,0.0,0.0,0.05247038953956619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652044589866487,0.10790195972193488,0.0,0.12698965439332718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933008270124015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194605874264822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646516963933705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160474114161794,0.0,0.0,0.09952162974984276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007828578600938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958846464359892,0.06500931904689677,0.0,0.06934503656659641,0.07547576628493849,0.07273811649488794,0.0,0.039013628934805866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031210373238192,0.0740174126982638,0.1315527698986932,0.0,0.06171065827566916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464098033693969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858197252278002,0.0,0.0,0.042404264364011166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383287795462968,0.0,0.2724964632734445,0.07539143913523323,0.0,0.2725292876980311,0.0,0.0,0.0863205653391285,0.08422755903633182,0.06559735205676852,0.0,0.0,0.1030077244535925,0.0,0.15503206074778078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344067237874834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807122090642647,0.0,0.0809648102214244,0.0,0.052284560268230834,0.058682475504878415,0.0,0.0,0.25702597146923106,0.0,0.0,0.05349195169320441,0.06737177939988391,0.0806141543214279,0.0,0.3646983590858275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766042577233796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988593532480046,0.0793317337891816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589289177928341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617693443177788,0.18445587652187304,0.07024215188350877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382626433133724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075220277053873,0.11880068357159612,0.0,0.0,0.05461314561052398,0.0,0.061618835095841866,0.06450791625424894,0.08838473984817419,0.0,0.08832796131946569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201703663833762,0.06743988319335494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05126064339849114,0.0,0.0,0.06125518788990141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238552040367672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664012433915761,0.0,0.0,0.182040203560058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924699359119205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617226805144029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843606487821478,0.0,0.09937501969667807
mentalhealth,Smalldemxn,2018/02/08,"Im a teen girl suspecting I have autism, should I get a diagnosis? Ever since I was a kid I've been told I was a genius. I knew this wasn't true, a genius wouldn't have had such trouble making friends. Feel so isolated around their peers. I always had good grades but lately started studying more. I scored first place in my school. Is it possible that I have autism? I thought autism was a learning disability. I had a few friends, really close friends who showed the basic symptoms of autism too. I got on really well with them and I too show the signs, though not really obvious.


Tl; dr
I was wondering if I should take any kind of test. I can't go to a doctor because I'm a minor and I don't want my parents to get worried about something I'm not sure about. ",1.5,3.704032012820517,3.0381410256410284,90.64644230769231,81.43589743589743,6.464102564102564,22.570512820512814,7.6454224807358475,0.9753282051282052,598,20,128,10,16,196,99,156,0.095,0.7929999999999999,0.113,0.7587,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,10,9,0,0,11,0,18,3,0,1,4,25,33,6,0,5,4,1,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,1,1,1,13,1,20,8,10,17,2,10,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,2,4,79,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139143056018284,0.0,0.0,0.11371747571404965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886405606531933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193767958214013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711599789552812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126291206681572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455304867834626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422399251983838,0.0,0.0,0.3875885705388624,0.0,0.17473438704748334,0.0,0.09503676929245254,0.14025884361641913,0.1337436284605758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806296966643421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413717679605073,0.0,0.0,0.1886349959123665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162275053321216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568151754995807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747125991763967,0.0,0.0,0.18851897487027647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32138229392053685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692387545069411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832871697177349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873654996098555,0.0,0.0,0.11836140562572928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760583902196934,0.17380888051501225,0.12573099694543702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429589495234256,0.132756501378301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978888515556808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863254594151376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035369373366442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813463719368745,0.0,0.16982322511576484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amandaem79,2018/02/08,"I think I'm broken. This is long. Hey all.

I'm a late 30's woman, and have come to believe that I am fundamentally and intrisically broken. I come from a family with a mom (a victim of sexual assault as a child) who pretty much had Stockholm syndrome to my step-dad, who himself was the son of an alcoholic abusive father. He in turn was a very abusive alcoholic.  He never wanted me (he came into my life when I was 7) and I always felt like I was baggage that came with my mom. He often would ""discipline"" me, but in actuality he would beat me until I couldn't sit... He once threw me down a flight of stairs when I was 18 because I didn't answer the door. He told me I was worthless, fat, that I was stupid and would never amount to anything. He told me he expected me to have 5 kids and be addicted to drugs when I was older, living off the system because I was so worthless and good-for-nothing.... It also worth nothing that several of my mom's boyfriends prior to my step-dad molested me and she did nothing to stop it.

I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was 16. Went to counseling but it didn't help. Wasn't given any drugs because my doc didn't trust them.

When I was 17 I got drunk with some friends while skipping school in late November. All was going well, and we were having a lot of fun drinking in the snow outside under a bridge. I got really drunk.. Like, black-out drunk. I ended up being raped by one of my fellow students, and woke up in a snow bank with a police officer standing over me. I was naked from the waist down. I had severe hypothermia and alcohol poisoning. I was rushed to the ER where I flatlined and had to be revived. I had my stomach pumped and for all intents and purposes, I died that day. I told my parents about the rape and they told me I ""deserved it"" for putting myself in that situation.

Finally, when I was 18, I started dating a guy I went to HS with. 3 months after we started going out, I moved into his family home, and stayed for 3 years. His family took me in and ""loved"" me, supported me and our small family until we moved out.

When I was 19, I suffered a late-term miscarriage with my son and that was another thing that broke me. It has been 20 years but I still can't think about it without tearing up (or breaking down). Shortly after the miscarriage, I got pregnant again, and my lovely parents told me I had no right to have another child because THEY had just lost their grandson and that I was being incredibly selfish. This made me feel even more guilty and broken inside... I carried to term with my second son, and he was born healthy and beautiful and absolutely perfect.

My son was diagnosed with autism when he was three. My world shattered again, because my dreams of a ""perfect"" child were gone. My life would be forever plagued by uncertainty regarding him because of the unpredictabilty of autism... (He is 18 now and he is everything I ever wanted in a child.. Kind, smart, witty, sarcastic and compassionate.)

My ex and I started having serious marital problems when my son was 10 or so (he is my son's father). He started a full-time job while I worked part-time (my son had therapy everyday and school and appointments so one of us needed to be more available) and while he was working, he met and became close to several single guys who enticed him into behaving like another single guy. He would spend outrageous amounts of money on clothing (while not really paying his part of our bills), go out with his bros all the time to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He would never answer his phone when I called... He would go to work and then be out until 1 or 2am without ever informing me... I found pics of some chick on his phone and he told me that it was his BFF's GF (why would he have pics of his friend's GF on his phone?) I felt like I was a single mom to a mentally-disabled child and was run completely ragged and exhausted all the time. I started lashing out at my son for things he couldn't control or didn't understand. I was completely unstable and all of the things my step-dad had told me when I was growing up seemed to be coming true. I was worthless and unlovable. Shortly thereafter I suffered a mental break that ended with me in the ER on a suicide watch. My ex acted like I was being dramatic and that nothing he had done could have possibly caused it. (Did I mention he's a narcissist?)

I went on anti-depressants and saw a psychiatrist and for a while things were okay. I was a lot more balanced and able to handle things more objectively. My ex started spending more time with me and our son and less with his friends... For a few years things were good.

Then my ex lost his job. He was laid off as his sector at his company was being downsized. I told him to take some time off and I was able to get full-time at my job. He had unemployment benefits coming in so that helped. We did okay.... My ex thought that ""some time off"" from a full-time job meant 6 years... He did start working part-time about 3 years ago (12 hours a week!) but even then he wouldn't pay his portion of the bills, was spending all kinds of money on stuff off Amazon and online games and crap... He would stay home all day while I worked and play games... I would come home and nothing would have been done around the house... Dishes everywhere, floors filthy, dirty clothes piled on shit... And then he would expect me to make dinner. I started having panic attacks, could sleep all day and all night, lots of migraines and weight problems, and was diagnosed with REM sleep disorder... I became so anxious that I was also diagnosed with acute hypochondria... I was out of control again and could barely function. I got so far into debt from credit cards/loans because I couldn't keep up with our payments... Spiraling. My parents also physically abused my son while he was at their place for a visit, and I subsequently cut them out of my life. (My mom likes to email me every so often and say ""THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY GRANDSON AWAY FROM ME"". I delete them without even reading them anymore.)

Finally, after YEARS of pleading for change and threatening to do it, I left him 2 years ago. At that time, I suffered another mental break that cost me my job and I was on medical unemployment for 3 months, then regular EI until I found my current job. I think part of my hesitation was that I wanted to make sure my son was old enough to understand and that his dad and I couldn't be together anymore and that it had NOTHING to do with how much I loved him. When I left, my ex begged and tried to negotiate with me to come back. I told him I would think about it ONLY if he got a job and proved to me that he could function like an actual adult instead of relying on someone to be his ""mom"". This cycle went on for the better part of a year, him begging, me waiting for him to prove that he could be the man I knew I deserved. (It should be noted that when I left my ex, I asked my son who he wanted to live with... He chose to stay with his dad and visits me on weekends sometimes.. I never forced him to come with me and I never took him away from his father against his will.) We never had a formal court thing for support but I gave him money when I could, sometimes several hundreds of dollars a month, sometimes very little (my job thing was a little crazy) but I always tried. His family stopped talking to me after always saying I was like a daughter to them for 20 years... I can't help but feel that he poisoned them against me.

Ex went back to school and got his GED through online courses and finally got a full-time job. I offered emotional support to him throughout that whole process (""hey how was your exam? How are your courses going? I'm proud of you!"" etc.) He now makes more money than I do and likes to flaunt it in my face whenever I go to pick up my son. New toys, new computer crap, more video games than he could ever play in a lifetime... I asked him once to lend me $20 to get medication and he never even replied. Finally, I asked him why he hates me so much, and he said ""YOU ran out on me. YOU never gave us a chance. YOU abandoned your child. EVERYTHING I'VE DONE IN THE PAST YEAR WAS BECAUSE OF ME AND THE SUPPORT MY FAMILY SHOWED ME, NOT YOU."" I clearly and in plain fucking English asked him if he remembered all of the fights we had about him not pulling his own weight financially or even by being a proper ""house-husband"", or the nights when I would come home from working 2 jobs and could hardly walk (I have mobility problems and was working in the food service industry at the time). I asked if he remembered all the chances I DID give him, the years of chances, which never amounted to anything. Unsurprisingly, he never replied.

I have tried to maintain a civil relationship with him for our son's sake, but he just spits venom at me or ignores me completely. I don't expect him to love me still but I expected more from the man I spent 2 decades with. But then, that's just narcissism and his gaslighting/blame-shifting. He's perfect. He never did anything to warrant my ""abuse"" of him.

Anyways, now... I seem inclined to latch onto the wrong people and am terrified of meeting anyone new because I feel like I am so goddamned broken that once someone gets to know me, they will run for the hills. I haven't had any sort of intimate relationship with anyone in 2 years. I haven't even been on a date with anyone. I fell in love with my male friend because he was kind to me and realized that I can't handle any sort of male attention in a healthy way because almost ALL of my interactions with men have screwed me up. 

I keep pushing people away. I have very, very few friends, because I'm so fucked up that people get tired of my drama and drop me. I am so lonely and feel like part of me is missing but like I said, I don't WANT to meet anyone. I don't want to rely on someone only to have them disappoint me, and I don't want to feel like I'm responsible for anyone else's happiness. I barely have enough happiness of my own. 

I am waitlisted for psychiatric help again, but it's been months and I had another mental break on Christmas (which I spent absolutely alone.)

I feel like I should be okay.. I have a full-time job that I love, have gotten debt managed and I pay reasonable child support every month (even though I don't have to legally now that my son is 18 but my ex is also taking care of our dog and cat). I got my own cat last year and it's feels like... all the pieces are there, and they should fit, but they just don't.

I feel like, at my core, my very being, I'm just broken beyond belief. I wouldn't want to deal with me if I didn't have to.




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mentalhealth,swordfish111235,2018/02/08,"Problems. Hi,

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and OCD a few years ago. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety problems since 9th Grade(in 1st year University now). I've been on anti depressants and anti anxiety pills for a long time now; my anxiety and depression started to get under control as I reached 12th grade but then I stopped taking my meds and for a while I thought that things were getting better but they were actually getting worse. Now that I'm in university I have started meds again, I am almost passing all my courses, I have really good friends. 

Sometimes I feel like everybody will leave me and I will die alone and everybody is using me in some way or another even though they might not be. I feel like everybody is against me and hates me even though they might not. My friends think that I am a really sweet and nice person, but I think the opposite; I feel like I'm an asshole and shitty person ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes my anxiety gets out of control and I just have to throw up and my heart beat goes through the roof. I feel like meds can't help me and only I can help myself. But then I think that I can't help myself without meds, and this thought process keeps running in a loop.

I feel like my face is really weird and everybody is talking about me behind my back.",4.339117647058823,6.089776196078433,4.884460784313728,82.75257352941179,71.35294117647058,8.707843137254903,30.78921568627451,9.255337874911486,2.7642509803921573,1050,46,201,23,20,335,132,255,0.208,0.644,0.14800000000000002,-0.7643,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,4,11,20,1,0,9,0,23,4,2,3,2,49,45,26,1,2,9,0,5,5,2,4,2,0,0,2,6,17,0,4,10,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,7,6,39,11,20,33,5,28,0,5,0,0,12,7,0,5,22,136,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.08246621390883731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490996802905714,0.0,0.08462111450030753,0.08752331197771775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861249810613794,0.2585891532940998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498032959583362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473918638711814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895625891585539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911415107283243,0.0857723811803666,0.08770446908100266,0.0,0.09685184090497534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163157388004777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136452834288942,0.3018575224806511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057911973753453,0.0,0.1766047622365345,0.0,0.0,0.07088009448797772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343273413787676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014068238566746,0.169928900766762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511331479687114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894802469559118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064281870455442,0.0,0.0,0.07478564775439718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754709572120898,0.0,0.0,0.1792962148043386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642710481124397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757574004766194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172273319192734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241120183586075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990470102672554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715830050991526,0.0,0.119628358514421,0.0,0.0,0.07065126945548503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353841735593041,0.06792317316678599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056142404521860236,0.16244517735407452,0.16605453542817694,0.13417754088036385,0.0985529113117881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298653645354318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707737514572558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146130976395337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611940587347128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088389100348856
mentalhealth,Fiber_fan,2018/02/08,"Those with mental illness and society- The reality of zebras So, I am hoping to collect some tales here.  I am wondering what some of your experiences are in relation to having a mental illness and dealing with society at large.  I'll give a tale in return.  One that, for me, has always been a tremendous metaphor.  It should be noted that as part of my condition, I have hallucinations.

So many years ago, my family and I moved to a different part of town.  Down the road from us was, and still is, a farm.  We still drive by this farm on a regular basis, as the road is the major way through the neighborhood.

Sitting in the back seat of my parents' car as we drove by, I mentioned, ""Oh hey, look.  There's a zebra.""

My mother never looked and said from the front, ""There's no zebra.  You're just crazy.""

This went on a for quite a while.  We'd drive by.  I'd see the zebra.  My mother would call me crazy and deny it's existence.

Finally one day as we're driving by, my mother was looking.  ""Oh my god! There's a zebra!""  

From the back seat, I said in a bitter voice, ""REALLY?!? I just thought I was crazy.""

The reality of the zebra doesn't matter if no one's willing to look.  ",1.2281276595744686,3.4701087489361697,3.390893617021277,87.49400000000001,82.78723404255321,6.483404255319152,21.314893617021283,7.699297019823105,0.9713182978723408,896,28,186,16,25,305,127,235,0.09,0.887,0.024,-0.9106,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,4,1,0,1,12,2,1,0,22,0,18,2,0,0,1,22,31,14,0,4,3,4,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,0,8,4,1,0,3,9,9,22,1,34,17,5,32,0,0,5,0,16,11,0,5,11,133,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999598714632928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263741696187345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818000594850966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822635006517878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730146887564752,0.13955895572171026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143124669720156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241634562763205,0.12761335257899986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828954973574054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985777799611736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445144166222278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547017088509704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724238870089858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27283917151250225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438752679314708,0.0,0.0,0.1044045146228426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27518755002750034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503106738696308,0.29318173794202584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398103806752624,0.0,0.0,0.08672051263972545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575328412903824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078711499103709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162108811037349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074674498897184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283161028538942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744919611598057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548793432791255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468013388155899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616188211127416,0.0,0.0,0.08717286092353313
mentalhealth,awareos,2018/02/08,"I need some help (Ontario, Canada) Hi, I'm new to Reddit so I'm not sure where to ask this. I'm a 19 year old female. I have BPD, DDNOS, GAD, and Depression diagnosed. Last year I began becoming very ill physically with unknown causes. I've been to the hospital numerous times most of the doctors say it's nothing although my family doctor says it may be Lupus and we are taking the steps needed to check that out. If it's not lupus.. I don't know where to go from here. Every day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed. I'm feeling suicidal, alone and lost. I haven't been able to finish high-school because of my dissociation and physical ailments. I have no income (working on disability but I'm afraid they will deny me) my mom gets angry when I bring up how I'm feeling and tells me I don't need to go to the hospital even when I'm having a hard time breathing. She has told me she wishes I was never born some days and that I'm a burden. I'm looking for help, any help I can get. I'm looking for inpatient programs that offer DBT or work with BPD patients. I don't have money so I'm not sure I can pay fees. I looked into the Royal Ottawa awhile ago and they denied me because they are too full. My life is a mess and I really need help.. please. Anything. I don't want to live like this anymore.,",1.1776507164098429,3.172157532846718,3.4838361719383606,88.16017707488513,81.33576642335767,6.103054879697216,21.0970532576372,7.2427474758485975,0.6646535820492021,1020,30,215,14,27,351,157,274,0.14,0.78,0.081,-0.9312,1,1,0,0,0,1,35.0,1,0,3,3,10,8,0,1,9,0,21,6,1,2,3,39,56,18,1,7,6,1,3,1,0,2,5,2,1,0,9,15,0,0,3,0,4,4,10,5,0,0,6,8,29,3,23,47,4,28,0,2,3,0,18,8,0,6,17,123,38,6,0.10859092465414588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625930270442946,0.0,0.0,0.11246744863232844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384555250629422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076930180050198,0.0,0.0,0.0893610784439407,0.0,0.10151785585431992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323920395292893,0.11993014472484785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735329363927355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155279236668128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006432579773734,0.0,0.09352920428477524,0.11021750270295153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22229482554996344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172328158866155,0.0,0.0914925375092944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236985941912644,0.0,0.10981366859469692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269371048266397,0.0,0.12342944991958354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727613905879663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911448311888893,0.11473227395258165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967873229189784,0.0885160970307742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670098149839273,0.05305204064654233,0.0,0.0958877759475764,0.0,0.2735670821587501,0.0,0.11853982194289353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271803785206808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220751787217562,0.08375201551143427,0.1048777917038557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419592091908653,0.0,0.11394790846482775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920022602759398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956612696298813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271172361109596,0.0,0.10989981314277544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878084655136822,0.0,0.2046913227314537,0.0,0.08164686103259923,0.0,0.09491325448647348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266404828618321,0.0,0.0,0.10376328206887804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959888540130442,0.0640497408548584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487420422672013,0.0,0.0,0.1581109729197777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985799036790866
mentalhealth,HaltingChrysanthemum,2018/02/08,"Helping SO with to think more positively Hi, 
This is my first post here. I live in Canada. 

My significant other is naturally a pessimistic person on their own admission. 

I’ve noticed lately that more and more they are increasingly negative (more-so than usual) when we have conversations. I know they don’t like their current work team, and is actively taking the steps to change job or team, which I’m really happy about. But in the mean time, all they do when we talk to each other is vent about the bad things that happened at work, or that they had overall shitty day because one or a few small thing bad happened and thus sets their tone for the day. 

Sorry if I’m rambling. But as much as I care for them I’m getting very tired of hearing about their bad day, every day, and its starting to make me dread conversations with them. It seems that even small bad things that happen throughout the day make them in a very sour mood all the time. 

FYI my SO knows they think they are suffering from depression and low self esteem, so I think this is very much related, but is hesitant to seek help because of fear of judgement. Which I try to reassure that either no one needs to know they are seeking help or they no one will judge them (as far as the people I know). 

Is there a way I can either:
A. Help them see things in a more positive light/focus on the good?
B. Convince them to seek the help they need?
C. Tell them kindly that our negative conversations are starting to get me down and cut me some slack?

Sorry if this is too long. I am not suffering from any mental health illnesses at the moment other than anxiety attacks on rare occasions, and don’t have much experience with people suffering around me, so pardon me if I said anything that comes across as insensitive in this post. ",5.744288708409747,6.401928308357352,5.863957296306001,81.1138662562222,67.06916426512969,9.190935289494366,28.45284254650249,9.218907990703514,2.181133717579252,1421,44,278,25,22,450,177,347,0.173,0.6970000000000001,0.13,-0.9209,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,3,0,20,5,14,21,2,2,16,0,21,3,0,3,2,45,50,28,0,5,13,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,2,23,15,0,0,9,2,0,3,7,13,0,4,2,4,40,7,42,47,16,41,0,5,1,0,41,17,0,9,18,193,63,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014522561809911,0.0,0.06765972473867797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278220613258135,0.07873426825783646,0.0,0.10061827447003703,0.0,0.0,0.29538952228692794,0.1078297719669806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017496140533196,0.0,0.09356244902727257,0.07618702012282047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28519660935009644,0.0,0.07617703304623001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058416692770398265,0.0,0.0745182224806277,0.0,0.0,0.08651559540040105,0.0,0.09952454021546896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523076237174486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241709830631348,0.0,0.0,0.07418296740472728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346332753329905,0.09415070956028296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401226249506674,0.09968326795373256,0.0,0.2964120885598794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776742087103025,0.0,0.0,0.09210123352749816,0.19442691923754735,0.0,0.0997691367784799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04320946686552156,0.0,0.07809802652493059,0.07827051176754357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807464899791802,0.0,0.0,0.09634188113428624,0.0,0.0,0.08913115393750345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950504339979337,0.13116080544294462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006945368283508,0.0,0.0,0.1797966453806039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226324230322014,0.07722623955828023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694105758767218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665974807636005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413087898547551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047873672080998,0.08051646099842066,0.09226679932737672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19801253190526727,0.12520280460209526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649918256616341,0.07108825936895406,0.07730430488349903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350341203551631,0.17001480293958152,0.0,0.0,0.10314528303462402,0.10165382833762733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060047942686318384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740901245220183,0.21892768059927512,0.0,0.0702030488245755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287771546992845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bhangra_jock,2018/02/08,"learning things when depressed Since depression fries your neurons and makes retaining information hard, any tips for learning a language, an instrument, memorizing stuff, studying, etc while depressed?",20.99821428571429,18.63160810714286,15.137142857142859,36.40785714285718,39.35714285714286,18.342857142857145,70.85714285714286,15.903189008614273,10.951957142857143,169,12,16,5,1,47,26,28,0.337,0.6629999999999999,0.0,-0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,10,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957638070995274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7438349020768613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210549754369536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25787805325811497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215775294071769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23813187986762285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295462094520855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125031840087325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rukiatran,2018/02/08,"How do you make someone realizes they are having depression? Are online diagnostic tests trustworthy? So basically I started to see depression signs from my best friend since last year so I made her do a test online (depression.org.nz). It came out at 25/ 27 but she said it was not a problem and chose to ignore it. I let it slipped thinking online test can't be that accurate. Recently, her symptoms keep getting worse but she keeps denying it and I realize how wrong it was of me to do so. 
Redditors, how can I make her stops denying having depression to seek help? How can I help her because we're doing a long distance friendship right now (8h+ of sleep is impossible due to senior year)?Thank you",4.234592875318064,6.713920442748092,4.791164122137406,80.15611005089063,73.58015267175573,8.33613231552163,30.76399491094148,9.075114841892004,2.9734727735368955,562,26,99,13,12,179,88,131,0.196,0.67,0.134,-0.8891,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,1,1,8,8,0,0,3,0,16,2,1,7,0,23,27,11,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,5,2,17,2,10,20,1,13,0,3,1,0,13,3,0,0,9,67,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385882353394456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879771531997415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948632455246038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44023038655282815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163105509294026,0.0,0.08901373831573896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22839711324620346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028736875578203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887810376089674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421965348162552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507762303729272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612126416515028,0.22745284368889115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302555910436556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822444229127692,0.0,0.0,0.14549904576170514,0.16206533603694892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576656143209512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093569585397425,0.0,0.17049772250140338,0.0,0.1443579134307744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205920753788279,0.0,0.0,0.14244086130729045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17708452776282158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685811473332026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091692154807821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362635438020474,0.0,0.18627796665466576,0.0,0.21943141586272252
mentalhealth,vechedubov,2018/02/08,"All work no play / purposefully hard choices -> depression longterm? Curiosity post more than anything. Basically mature ft student, married, child, house, the works - poor AF and far fom friends and rest of family and still will be poor AF and away from people for the next 3+ years with a good long term return on the grind now. Would one be at risk damaging their mental health from purposefully sacrificing nearly all things they like in order to make ends meet? Where do people with experience in this draw the line? Loving life all considered, but it's soo frustrating to fight for every single spare minute at times lol",9.140386904761904,9.125991312500002,7.915000000000003,71.56333333333335,59.98214285714286,11.395238095238097,32.95238095238096,10.864195022040775,3.4592809523809525,505,16,87,11,6,154,93,112,0.16,0.72,0.12,-0.6416,1,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,2,2,3,10,2,1,5,1,5,3,0,1,3,12,7,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,2,5,17,3,7,20,0,2,0,1,7,9,0,0,10,48,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199856777951153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963730842607906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800212068012424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851220566154202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610111346165078,0.0,0.0,0.20445324881130955,0.19703734008677465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148168400575638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753088402404922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187233154395398,0.0,0.0,0.2221693372883951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24117108548728375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763092830490454,0.10211240920408164,0.0,0.0,0.18496850588540176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864094282314545,0.0,0.1395167280428117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21063432446468552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228598798099813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163152937267615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898043662821538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20017513871741835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691676869834216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885788240179722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218762242714287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043255673048661,0.0,0.0,0.14847569698644114,0.0,0.0,0.13459648459195675
mentalhealth,Naptaker1,2018/02/08,Trouble with Motivation Hey so I’ve had depression and anxiety for about 6 years now. For the past 4 months it’s gotten very bad and I’m having a hard time finding motivation to do anything. I can barely get out of bed or out of my house it’s so bad. I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get motivation when you’re really depressed and how to get stuff done? Because right now I have barely any motivation to do anything. ,1.8252309612983808,4.065970449438203,4.30936329588015,81.77980024968791,80.46067415730337,7.551061173533085,24.495630461922595,8.515128840125781,1.8770739076154808,346,13,69,8,9,121,61,89,0.215,0.687,0.098,-0.907,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,6,0,16,15,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,3,0,13,12,0,11,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,3,7,41,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923897138086242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267771494575668,0.0,0.15061333156261505,0.0,0.0,0.13766368649025715,0.0,0.3240323718857405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287746161557385,0.12001675487381945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391464207092576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014774921418456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799455542356971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085863958881859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763665939130478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271740976380739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571484371927678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879450740634001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612693084754334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813519271041935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22538150014590744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480282230540108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624473420669195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350891208453204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678482941126426
mentalhealth,Throwawaydreams101,2018/02/08,"The urge to kill myself is getting overwhelming Yesterday, another day difficult day. I couldn't handle it anymore, luckily after talking/arguing with my boyfriend on the phone, I travelled away from university and came here last night. I'm not going back till I feel better. 

I'm happy I have my boyfriend. I'm sad that he had to listen to what I had to say yesterday about ending my life, it's not a healthy relationship conversation and trust me I can't get through to the therapist and there is no one I can talk to. No one. I'll just reiterate, no one. 

The lack of support from the university tipped me over the edge. I've tried to get help with my mental health, my work, and extra curricular but not in one instance have I been listened to. I'm not sure why but I'm sure they're busy and I'm not important enough. I'm so appalled by the system, by the law, by the world... 

My desire to not exist is grows stronger every time I break down which is happening more frequently. I can't leave my family wondering why, when all their daughter did was work hard to get to uni. Can't have my sister wondering what happened to her older sister, I can't have my brothers believing they can't chase their dreams because the world is too cruel. I'd only ever be so sorry to my boyfriend. I feel like I don't deserve him now, for putting him through the pressure of having to listen to his partner say she wants to kill herself despite her promising to always stay by your side.

I'm so lost. And there's absolutely nothing I can do.
",3.886008553100498,5.294646065573776,5.0184604419101975,82.70177476835354,71.95081967213116,8.189593727726301,28.99857448325017,8.716276077567194,2.2060206699928733,1210,48,240,22,23,399,168,305,0.173,0.7509999999999999,0.076,-0.983,0,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,1,3,4,13,16,3,2,12,0,26,2,0,0,4,31,52,13,2,4,9,4,3,1,1,0,2,5,0,1,6,9,0,0,4,2,0,5,16,8,0,4,7,8,38,8,38,43,5,32,0,3,0,0,27,8,0,2,17,158,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855591887243903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420014990391255,0.0,0.0,0.11746583986036335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128319150542547,0.09107706981628537,0.0,0.07220311215258866,0.0,0.0,0.13344721243515914,0.0,0.10475517958943033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546978766259496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527747477885695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490731637566572,0.12238558383207132,0.0,0.0,0.1071404906336613,0.09979521382699212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165962042678113,0.0,0.11977893319901588,0.08461729517390422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475309737600445,0.0,0.06731515314033973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20948144944341648,0.12608714861622025,0.1061036600569818,0.0,0.0,0.12590173954422362,0.0,0.0,0.07939134019582514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620841932563863,0.0,0.0,0.09654867020623983,0.0,0.12541639523639114,0.0,0.0,0.08366136799511857,0.05786635592812294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929695907278665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936493208962523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115282359819097,0.0,0.11365139158987997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210462098859608,0.09008293390493707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907016980988175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271658489209588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18838480008762204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258973647048133,0.0,0.1262468543402794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441024208649996,0.22326645294366385,0.0,0.0,0.09520178834321663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375240398876765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906636546760005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041653545627668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986206479981713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375679216350985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568975963568487,0.1724590745919586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,B-e-a-utiful_day,2018/02/08,"(18+) Discord discussion/support/gaming community looking to grow! Hi there, I'm part of a support/discussion/gaming community who are looking to expand to help more people!

We focus on mental health, social politics etc. The owner of the server is a clinical psychology researcher and has BPD - we are definitely looking for people to support and talk things with.

**Support**

We are in the middle of developing our server to be friendly to people of all mindsets. There is no thought police, you can say what you want as long as it isn't harmful.

Once these channels are developed, we will be able to combine all of our experiences into supporting everyone else. The community supports each other. Please ask as many questions as you'd like and we'll try our best to help.

Unfortunately, we can't diagnose people so, if you are seeking a diagnosis, please find professional help.

**Discussion**

We are going to be starting regular discussions, polls, debates and chats, this is a server where you can be assured your point of view will be taken into account.

*Please note: if your speech is harmful or aggressive i.e 'radical' then you will not be able to participate in the debates.*

**Gaming**

As with the majority of discord servers, we do have a gaming element too (not compulsory) myself and others play games regularly, anything from PUBG to FIFA.

This is a server for 18+, however, we will be accepting of 16+ if you can demonstrate maturity.

This is meant to be a great place to share views about different topics, game and seek support.

*If you are not active after 4 recurring days without prior notice, you will be kicked.*

**So, to join please follow the link below**

https://discord.gg/BxukqCd",3.3405094130675512,6.5203006312292375,4.7677906976744175,73.64455426356591,85.87707641196012,7.384939091915838,28.429125138427462,8.269060116576782,3.039645404208194,1354,64,205,34,42,448,169,301,0.043,0.777,0.18,0.991,2,0,0,0,0,0,72.0,12,11,0,1,7,16,1,0,14,0,37,3,0,0,3,38,54,19,0,5,9,0,0,1,1,6,3,2,0,0,10,19,0,0,6,7,1,3,7,3,0,0,3,7,24,13,41,35,8,20,0,0,5,0,43,10,0,6,8,153,34,2,0.17233436231464366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090824817282469,0.0,0.08055468266765604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042714053199244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852454824247217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055570703413432065,0.0,0.0,0.08745787506976754,0.0,0.09002636455976626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198162312575362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960991842560877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233643420924623,0.0,0.08428803735759678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875524252768525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657255041521222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048970794775175006,0.0,0.0,0.09499962142281933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915916842111873,0.0,0.0,0.17326813561058327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209693224102852,0.0,0.0,0.07625524380116963,0.21707619123908986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735999721965762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683625186928064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810190685984224,0.0,0.0917652357399765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933106602628743,0.0,0.2389498958182721,0.0,0.09002636455976626,0.3783427575674946,0.08145583788796779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652696318201376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852360095371203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783658990089309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098957432319986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6844704723502397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925791625944418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724564636329733,0.0,0.0,0.06840711687137828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850185984350024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050823635961270826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306208775262801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acriman,2018/02/08,"What is exactly wrong with me? I am a 22 year old suicidal male. My life is totally fucked up. At this age I should have made friends, gfs, money and other relationships but I just can't do it. I have no understanding of people and I am alone all the time. I go to a university but my grades are shit. I can't focus on my study materials at all. I get bullied all the time. I am depressed all the time and my mind is blank. I can't find anything intelligent to say. I don't know how to get a job or do anything at all. I am just a human-zombie. I just eat food instead of humans. 

I think I have low-functioning autism. I am too poor to get an official diagnosis. Can anyone here tell me what might be wrong with me? I am desperate for a better life!",0.04930817610063088,2.1502849056603806,2.920408805031446,89.85784591194971,86.73584905660377,6.552201257861638,20.154088050314463,7.793537801064563,0.7953295597484282,576,18,133,12,18,203,92,159,0.259,0.705,0.036000000000000004,-0.99,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,2,0,9,0,23,6,1,2,7,27,32,7,1,1,6,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,5,5,2,0,4,0,2,1,5,5,0,0,1,1,24,2,14,28,6,12,0,1,0,1,6,5,2,2,6,95,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303873410982595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682233398947113,0.0,0.27497605895157795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776376611659495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439009714236971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095886356881249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270301248492907,0.0,0.20202707753120375,0.0,0.1290812988561882,0.15445762872498214,0.26186849941439105,0.0,0.0949522551888742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579560292180173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918197435315591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23601923765252006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808987599256344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723957960094552,0.1686975580832882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531652113559554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582838092201655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937542402791845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286430155133613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149951300893798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827523214377795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460304257481146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705455577652832,0.0,0.0,0.29226735079286104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393038552779205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653393474221811,0.0,0.10759046240802994
mentalhealth,nonumbers0,2018/02/08,"Am I a Sociopath? This question first came to my mind after my friend accused me of being a sociopath, which I found quite ridiculous. After reading an article he sent me, I became unsure of the accusation's ridiculousness.
I'm 14 years old at the time of this post (turning 15 in 3 months) and am a male. Things about me that triggered my friend's accusation are things like lack of empathy for fictional characters, my introverted personality, me being quite intelligent (although I am skeptical of how smart I am compared to others) and my tendency to lie. 
The biggest thing for him is my lack of empathy or attachment to fictional characters. I find it quite normal to be like this, as I realize they're not real. I do admittedly lie a lot. I lie often as I usually keep information about myself hidden because I don't like sharing things about myself most of the time. I have depression and I would hate it for my friends to find out about this. I don't want them to feel unnecessary pity towards me or treat me differently because of it. 
Am I a sociopath? If you have any questions that might help answer this, then go ahead and ask.
",6.655331196581201,7.108409967592598,7.442777777777778,71.29538461538462,65.06481481481481,10.905413105413109,35.596866096866094,10.727762888450028,3.972907122507122,907,41,162,23,13,303,122,216,0.14,0.738,0.122,-0.2764,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,5,6,15,4,0,10,0,17,0,0,2,0,34,29,12,0,6,4,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,0,2,16,6,0,1,10,1,0,3,3,6,0,1,3,1,33,9,31,21,4,20,0,2,0,0,17,5,0,9,14,124,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900733958877388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236125214960615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957444722523306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969934008033786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127323903024929,0.0,0.0,0.13674858281619073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618017037156132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392558637166036,0.1113320291865234,0.0,0.1435103419703519,0.3033678623453453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438584038836685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922336667562268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773049283142992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633797598167228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918336651608807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127506088435687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884994150451724,0.13215809992642585,0.0,0.10447239230768217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824102526070785,0.0,0.0,0.13734341256766916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428508346071267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535313071010878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932457726853538,0.4176418585270338,0.13092196578446674,0.14897754408951158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34782082119425123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264199509928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236697705874826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415303893599812,0.0,0.07720027599976896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297804697859982,0.0,0.0,0.08428664435694264
mentalhealth,CPHound,2018/02/08,"discord convo with someone in psychosis had 6 baltimore city police dept wouldnt touch me in street they had to put shot in my ass
beat up a an old lady and my dad and was spitting at the cops
only reason im not dead is cause i am white
CPHound - Today at 12:47 AM
nigga what
anon--
nigga u said u wanna ego death im tellin u what it looks like in the real world
how old r u
CPHound - Today at 12:48 AM
17
im not understanding anything ur saying LMAO
anon - Today at 12:48 AM
ok   dude im 27 think of me like a older bro or something

edit--------------------
 asked him abt his work
i got phone call like 3 weeks ago cause my barber for my whole life needed help so i went out to lunch w him and he explained what was going on his son is an opiate addict and stole all of his money and his moms car, also  he fucked up his dads arm he just got surgery for nerve damage and he like pulled his arm back and fucked everything up  so im there helpin him manage his finances because hes 66 years old and his wifes real ill so i have to manage everything for him
",0.9271982842659412,3.0058733049327344,2.3195554689023226,95.70153636186392,82.76681614349776,4.595749658802887,17.31897055956327,5.511479884284512,-0.6161739520374345,829,17,184,4,23,267,139,223,0.106,0.7959999999999999,0.098,-0.6027,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,8,8,2,0,6,1,13,10,4,4,1,27,26,14,2,3,4,6,1,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,10,1,0,4,0,2,5,3,3,0,0,8,5,24,5,23,17,2,31,0,1,2,3,32,15,3,1,15,90,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469110402883988,0.0,0.0,0.09325961286280683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413395946446514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657635518381264,0.0,0.09835429584096132,0.0,0.0,0.08089765008916272,0.0,0.0641331798887568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742805822995996,0.0,0.0,0.21615303534508248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910644476372696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452425896755374,0.0,0.0,0.059791533867198265,0.0,0.16828721662485152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051800054862031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5682077950426215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431077973524794,0.20559520517078334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834734049020113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321710765974768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800961994431768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33119098720005746,0.0,0.0,0.0800146258629821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057620425510728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394970824117517,0.0,0.10817026622667547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007590107539042,0.08366478889991856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914150685902547,0.08099344963265523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741236513674903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991716596569746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095241446991811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439066886294884,0.0,0.0,0.0975278961629214,0.0,0.11745980190349413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659191220788719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677498261000863
mentalhealth,microchelle,2018/02/08,"I feel like a ticking timebomb... suicidal BPD girl here. I've always hated violence and anger because my dad was abusive towards my mom. he's locked her out of friend's houses on trips, cheated constantly, and hit her (which ended the marriage). 

even though I hate anger and conflict, I get these really intense fits of rage that I can't control. I've always hated that about me; It reminds me too much of my dad. 

But lately I've noticed that my fits have gotten more intense and way more frequent. in a month's time I've cut off two of my best friends and almost lost my boyfriend. everything just feels... lonely

I'm turning into what I hate, and it's been making me depressed and suicidal. it's made me  hate humanity and start self harming again, and I dont know what to do. 

I'm scared that I'll someday abuse my boyfriend the same way my dad abused my mom... help?
",3.8460426856380607,5.2233777572254345,4.469364161849711,86.72191196087152,72.00578034682081,6.941574032903514,28.914628723877282,7.321109707123232,1.5865779457536684,684,27,136,7,13,218,107,173,0.358,0.569,0.073,-0.9964,0,2,0,0,2,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,7,19,10,1,4,0,6,0,0,3,0,22,24,11,2,0,2,5,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,11,11,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,15,0,1,5,2,21,4,12,18,5,19,0,3,0,0,15,8,0,1,9,76,32,0,0.0,0.391491935225839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028881179063113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832897943889807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714002432376175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558462292510588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387168599264257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902168484696098,0.12353082822004492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486300041888328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908268795412206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755091661862997,0.0,0.0,0.07274610901930262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898629167647573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137969332209503,0.07868368948114893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701870277360492,0.0,0.05754334925346419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436998299329072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382419334749737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708620939788545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060529795476152476,0.0,0.12424216703563193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380860227092492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023028811818445,0.0,0.0,0.1042166694507395,0.07351897960210281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579881309402946,0.0879123077994935,0.0,0.08096521423904884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253945645734208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055819176154653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026886564736953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489953169914285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795731357905465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409494998342877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821151147065276,0.0,0.06422323524848553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980016185339888,0.10759029946567253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484723633200558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,savdha,2018/02/08,"writing other words instead of the one you want to write For example I had to write ""gear train"" but I wrote""grain train""
What type is mental condition is this?",2.2590000000000003,5.1455945666666665,2.6750000000000007,89.2425,86.66666666666666,5.666666666666668,24.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.3236666666666674,127,5,23,2,4,39,25,30,0.0,0.959,0.041,0.0387,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,17,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7464594058553872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.501922882391577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4368887450390019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sahltnpephr,2018/02/08,"Feeling no empathy Is it weird that I feel no empathy toward my narcissistic, BPD, bi polar sister who had a miscarriage and in surgery getting her appendix taken out tonight? I felt sadness toward the loss of life  but nothing for her right now. She has put me through hell my entire life , manipulated everyone, disowned her own child but said she will “love her next child if it’s a girl.” She’s ruined friendships of mine, emotionally drains everyone with her life choices and me trying to give her advice and guide her my entire life. But nothing helped. I’m currently just eating a salad and not at the hospital but my mom seems concerned and said she’s going to support her tonight. I don’t feel any sadness for her so I’m wondering if it’s concerning or I’m in shock.",5.587046979865772,6.640504516778524,6.297510067114093,76.45109731543623,67.59060402684564,9.449932885906039,33.69194630872483,9.642632912329526,3.2838638926174486,619,28,112,13,10,203,93,149,0.179,0.736,0.085,-0.9239,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,1,0,5,0,5,9,1,1,0,23,22,13,0,2,9,2,4,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,5,7,2,0,6,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,5,6,23,2,14,16,1,14,1,4,0,2,24,7,1,5,5,71,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799834120422154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995247907800113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363869891353964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654458270354963,0.0,0.1818757396747041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30899708143616617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452609132609809,0.0,0.155244557652104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447461093999684,0.15510458551059025,0.09189025980092333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837516571236963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4568163025252117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592853102461376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893654720402493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195560628549836,0.0,0.0,0.3102854383516845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253976003826812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807953149056326,0.3076020953084821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719347051047507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834801153832916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977463454568223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534229493802514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cupcakaholic,2018/02/08,"Can't get my meds Two weeks ago I had my first appointment with a new psychiatrist since getting out of the hospital the first week of January. He told me to stop taking what the hospital gave me and to start taking what he prescribed. Ok, sure. He tells me these meds will need to be preauthorized for insurance or whatever and that he will take care of it. 


I still don't have my meds.


I started calling a week after the appointment. Every time I call they say they will take care of it and yet the preauthorization still hasn't been sent in. Pharmacy says the doctor just hasn't sent the paperwork. 


Why? I'm so frustrated. My therapist is a bit ticked too and has offered to call him on my behalf so that'll probably happen tomorrow.


But I've been unmedicated this whole time, waiting, and getting worse. My therapist is suggesting I seek outpatient treatment at the hospital.


This psychiatrist is 45mins away because they couldn't find anyone taking new patients for me when I was in the hospital.


Just....why.... Every time I try to get help something always falls through. Idk why I try anymore ",3.949542334096108,6.3663030338164255,4.67730485634376,80.93336384439361,74.21739130434783,8.80233918128655,28.28604118993135,9.414487439383343,2.80891884057971,876,36,161,23,19,281,119,207,0.068,0.866,0.067,-0.0686,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,3,2,8,5,1,0,12,1,19,1,0,0,1,16,40,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,9,7,0,2,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,3,8,2,22,4,20,26,2,29,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,1,20,100,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815379450854287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274789803363686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862473457105636,0.06953567776751755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343376114698024,0.0,0.0,0.06062198831352436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108570403535275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30463961876789564,0.0,0.20278575598436804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178825225866782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757682892062656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089278657314136,0.16917919102023116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782788097560867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794068289758365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665725000018291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313897049705202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373871491807882,0.0,0.19209312842749324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722072154022748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816854438660094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226361339656085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655918458463369,0.0,0.0,0.14077824368826258,0.0,0.15883705811001106,0.08314217257349042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937276517426927,0.0,0.3738589625896028,0.0,0.0869210901914481,0.0,0.0,0.2309313405017953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739650941106009,0.0,0.0,0.09502590178861677,0.0,0.13503601513303304,0.0,0.0971453010711562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393112340813649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692064379944077,0.11102906094245966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134502267606084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PopPunkAF,2018/02/08,"Lost my insurance, few days of meds left, life is garbage. Reddit, my life sucks and I'm starting to make some pretty bad plans again. 

I spent last year in and out of hospitals with no success in getting a grip on this thing. Every doctor I've been to has given a different diagnosis. Depression, anxiety, bipolar, ADHD, and others have all come up.

A few months ago, I was put on Paxil and Abilify and finally started to feel okay. Not good, not great, but okay. It was a huge upgrade over where I'd been for the last few years.

Welp... my wife lost her job. I can't find one. We don't have any insurance and the state hasn't responded to our application (which has been in for 3 weeks now). I have about 5 days of meds left, so I feel like I'm back against the wall.

Looks like it's back to the fucking looney bin again.

I fucking hate this shit.",1.8813372093023268,3.8381839360465113,3.1466860465116286,91.64933139534887,78.82558139534882,6.858139534883722,22.959302325581397,7.8658589789855275,0.9867604651162788,655,21,145,11,16,212,112,172,0.151,0.737,0.112,-0.7951,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,0,4,8,16,5,0,8,2,14,7,1,1,1,19,32,8,0,0,3,1,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,3,0,1,2,6,9,0,1,9,4,12,7,21,23,5,33,0,3,1,2,5,13,4,1,19,85,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415281612433955,0.0,0.1210774509107048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288485379962433,0.0,0.1044898173693733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100562281310585,0.11404567989227757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765888568564442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617654662624244,0.0,0.11764346221454662,0.0,0.0,0.1427058957258142,0.0,0.13980410241944788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508168984967787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812648435055613,0.0975788411657076,0.0,0.14962600921649968,0.12483940102408415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525477073417948,0.0713618460696593,0.0,0.0,0.11456394104433924,0.0,0.15058928720548878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348528511987379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355429956774912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267569142816115,0.0,0.0,0.2968075777880686,0.0,0.1929529730895751,0.13346046910017487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469992693439225,0.0,0.29820493332108744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117387454203214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30343803092138594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090236258091683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925558925540315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389595939623709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730915368511415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402061172962844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933560657767152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907433203664928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956304398996954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759170125638264
mentalhealth,nobodytrickedme,2018/02/08,"My friend is going through a lot right now I want to do as much as I can to help. Can you guys point me in the right direction My best friend has been going through a lot the last year. She has several medical issues, two were diagnosed 10-15 years ago. Hyper-mobility was diagnosed recently. About that time she started having random symptoms but no known cause. Spring 2017 she started being treated for Lupus after 10 years of random symptoms.

Her marriage of 8 years is pretty much dead. She and her husband have been discussing divorce for a while. I thought they'd be able to amicably and they had hoped to work things out without an attorney but there was a disagreement about custody of their soon to be 5 year old. That was early June 2017. Her husband is sleeping with somebody else and questioning the closeness of our relationship. (We know each other and he knows that I’ve known her for years longer than he has)

She moved into the guest room in their house the first week of July after clearing years of junk and then a few weeks later, she lost her job.(She got a job offer in October but it requires a security clearance which can take months.)

 September we had a hurricane and the stress of preparing for the storm, husband being a jerk and making the decision to stay or move further west in the face of an erratic storm pushed her into a flare. She went to her Parents and the storm turned West and followed her. The weather was better here. She was sick from September until recently at one point in October sitting in chair too almost too much energy. In November doctors ruled out all autoimmune conditions but Lupus. (I've been going to a lot of appointments with her) 

A month ago she was told she needs surgery to repair a labral tear in her hip. The surgery will repair the tear but most likely wont prevent needing a hip replacement, just delay it.  She’s been freaked out for the last 6 weeks. She needed to stop her medications about a week in advance and the surgical center told her to stop like 80% of her medications 6 days prior to the surgery. She’s changed her mind several times and her current decision is to “Fuck it I’m not rescheduling, I’m just not having the surgery”

I’ve told her I think she should delay until she gets the answers she needs and have the surgery, but I cant make the decision or force her to do anything.

I'm worried about her mentally being able to handle all of this.  If I suggest she see a counselor I think she’s going to say no as it’s just one more doctor to schedule and deal with and she already has a team of various people. Primary care, Rhumatologist, orthopedic surgeon for hip, orthopedic for shoulder and podiatrist for feet. 

Is there anything else I can do to help her?",5.101128677206326,6.542460353612173,5.5118431058635196,80.19971182709628,69.03802281368822,8.654712827696619,31.14248549129477,9.063066167217693,2.6799703422053227,2190,91,404,41,38,700,256,526,0.099,0.831,0.07,-0.9528,5,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,3,1,4,8,15,15,2,1,39,0,43,21,7,3,3,81,78,31,1,8,15,4,0,2,3,3,13,1,1,1,11,27,0,7,12,1,0,10,7,5,0,4,20,2,57,10,72,49,14,82,0,1,1,1,71,25,1,12,47,279,68,6,0.1479038966971928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311078804115901,0.0,0.0740521939343126,0.0,0.08160781393436514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217123047530634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760800731921054,0.06540448867299539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539893998038825,0.07596902195571786,0.078231355674396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047692888792801126,0.07624121152824777,0.0,0.15011934179508374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138590549429967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355472707700482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290348948694577,0.0,0.0,0.1142701836967722,0.06836738460245748,0.03863684075803413,0.0,0.16811438587930322,0.0,0.059146128733421226,0.0,0.0,0.07322405557386727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913686427579167,0.0,0.0,0.07345097096088944,0.0,0.08533061941563437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718662075656567,0.1467717955263132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128411360371716,0.12056141627833987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722583730118546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072728745512152,0.1886139058178332,0.0,0.0,0.09872699953795623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349642346496187,0.07452617025150396,0.0,0.0746703865013444,0.0,0.11805547925821608,0.1571984353038575,0.16308957316935754,0.21933773063499667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760012973514921,0.0,0.10022350818495034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821148870180694,0.0,0.0,0.05126896956624484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981698914310556,0.0,0.0,0.07523571767586196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284310684888392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603725472942938,0.07939671678231643,0.0,0.12630911964624086,0.0,0.058809557540668723,0.0,0.0,0.05893012824280204,0.0,0.0,0.1670893040974017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400535556127125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046871393394516,0.07882293731978135,0.0,0.12365428033694685,0.08471170697576502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372878005897764,0.05560266172461665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049130388463228224,0.09477084490596424,0.0,0.05870958647599561,0.08624395157576327,0.0,0.0,0.21199276736462186,0.0,0.0,0.0804384839667259,0.07224030789820841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361877516491554,0.0,0.23727916900993656,0.0,0.0,0.06855419701201533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128703922661601,0.0,0.05383789916123213,0.07510179326099732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333584108864036
mentalhealth,parakey3,2018/02/08,"What do you do when you’re too stupid for this world? I won’t ever be able to make my own income. 
I’ll never be able to pass an interview. I have undiagnosed expressive language disorder and because of it, I am most definitely unable to convince anyone to hire me.

I don’t have any work experience, I can’t socialize at all, I can hardly communicate with anyone. It’s even hard to talk to my siblings who I’m close with.

I can’t talk about anything, or even explain anything about myself. I can’t even lie or tell stories, true or fake, because I have no imagination. I wish my parents noticed something wrong with me when I was younger so I could get help but they thought too little of it, they just thought it was my personality. Thought I was just quiet.

But now I can’t do anything. For the past 5 years since I got my ged, I haven’t done anything. I just sit on the floor all day and stare at this screen, feeling guilty to my parents and feeling bad for myself for turning out this way.

I wish I could have a job but I won’t answer any questions in the interview, I know it. I looked at sample questions online and I can’t think of any good answers to anything and can’t think of anything at all for the ones where you have to explain certain situations. I’ve tried and tried but I can’t come up with anything.

Whenever someone asks me a question and expects me to go into detail, I can’t answer, I don’t say anything, not even “I don’t know” because it just won’t come out of me. I thought I might be selectively mute too but I don’t think so after watching some videos of it. Could I get anymore hopeless?",2.566545101424253,4.274261803625379,3.9931668105308575,87.48881797583083,75.97885196374622,6.4204143288735445,27.833513163573585,7.1686216300943375,1.378763400949504,1271,53,265,14,28,420,152,331,0.078,0.847,0.075,-0.4555,4,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,2,2,1,20,9,1,0,7,0,37,0,0,1,7,67,63,19,0,6,13,2,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,1,12,17,0,0,20,1,0,4,19,5,0,1,9,11,48,4,38,44,6,30,0,1,4,0,23,15,0,9,9,185,60,5,0.1655773212618958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16889738451955508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210410536917509,0.11577551289079463,0.0,0.5450241091857925,0.0,0.07739622204224325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912507354217674,0.151401597312178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263020104914054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983000268175544,0.0,0.0,0.053391837171950465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488297755625563,0.0,0.0,0.08472154343449198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187245181931477,0.07488708328096258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809831959955417,0.0,0.0,0.08372086867186143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650731640742701,0.0,0.047050703702000624,0.06943920065583993,0.06621365479464751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832475715032312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055491494110855535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215497117631686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099696554449574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297598731373937,0.0,0.0,0.06952162407301356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526207383564316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782568594588129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385171883762293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425543884788226,0.0,0.0,0.05609973903090793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838540205064552,0.0,0.07903114430445136,0.0,0.07228786515544079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782267409451876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658368658272549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848363558833324,0.0930579232580904,0.0,0.0843926136913773,0.07014656349324389,0.06373475564171106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308477887285566,0.07236093844937573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591428926181291,0.0,0.26289979583136924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241613235600838,0.09005028940411422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571378531388836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040574796120247,0.0,0.0,0.06027113094751936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051640401826624,0.0,0.05331318311347075
mentalhealth,Idrahaje,2018/02/08,"I wet the bed last night? So my anxiety problems have been acting up for the past week or so (never diagnosed with anything). I've been sleepin pretty badly and it's just been generally shitty. Last night I woke up in a puddle of pee. I'm seventeen, this isn't normal for me. Has anyone else had this happen? What can I do to not have it happen again? ",0.9941666666666648,3.2878200833333366,3.161666666666669,88.42500000000004,84.27777777777777,5.822222222222222,18.722222222222214,7.1686216300943375,0.4224388888888888,274,7,56,4,8,93,56,72,0.16399999999999998,0.7929999999999999,0.043,-0.8394,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,10,2,1,0,1,9,14,4,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,1,5,0,8,9,0,12,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,8,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281812645480613,0.0,0.0,0.15795932626467013,0.23146827034090825,0.18590209392161328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886227885687248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22929070347045594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871619039775456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995373732661391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36828847794429015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423329401175994,0.0,0.0,0.42399656188679696,0.2213407542476456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156536558820056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22982848746500364,0.0,0.21616235174096973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120885333829545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JunkieKit,2018/02/09,"Something weird I've been doing since I was little. Is it normal? I've tried many times to search online to see if anyone else does this thing or if it relates to anything but to no avail. So i've been doing this for as long as I can remember and have only really properly noticed it recently. I've told no one about it except for my dad, not because I think it's weird but because it's normal for me (not really worth mentioning to anyone). Ok so basically every single meal I eat, I would have to plan out the order of how I eat it beforehand to make it a symmetrical/balanced experience. I'll use tonight's dinner as an example: A chicken steak, 2 mozzarella sticks, 2 chicken dippers, and 4 potato smiley faces (yes they are amazing)(I realise this sounds like the meal of a 7 year old) with mixed vegetables on the side. It was me who cooked and prepared the meal so I already knew (and planned) how many of each item there was. I cut the chicken steak into 4 pieces, the mozzarella sticks into 4, chicken dippers into 4, and the potato smiley faces into 8. I then decided which pattern/order I would eat each item- 2 forkfuls of vegetables, one piece of chicken steak, one piece of potato, one piece of chicken dipper, one piece of potato, and finally a piece of mozzarella stick, then repeat until the meal is finished. Every time I eat, i make plans like these without fail, unless its an uncountable meal of course like soup or noodles or pasta. Is this something that people might generally do or is it something deeper than that?

TL;DR I like to plan out, using numbers, how I eat a meal. Is it science fact or science fiction? ie. is it weird lmao",5.390333778371161,6.204281286604362,6.178282153983088,77.99289719626171,67.90965732087227,8.606497552291946,30.862038273253226,8.704169506293173,2.5025159768580334,1307,50,236,20,21,430,160,321,0.043,0.84,0.118,0.9799,0,0,3,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,5,8,10,1,0,15,2,21,18,2,7,1,47,29,28,0,6,14,1,0,4,0,3,0,1,0,0,23,15,16,0,4,1,1,0,5,5,0,5,7,2,18,5,38,19,11,23,0,1,1,0,5,9,0,8,17,159,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573832550597878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666987703691733,0.1074625460606381,0.08630777903769446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786845339172834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178170031765837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5365950722288418,0.08761426468145472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673282033864246,0.0,0.0,0.10259332998961897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489154634151265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495741015448926,0.10511789196565603,0.0,0.09281601085977996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001720004340024,0.21266488824800586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126171879295156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055213957697271,0.0,0.11940723284827495,0.11005452347757158,0.0,0.355348968880303,0.07976640543603364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271098687665546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437836738276066,0.0,0.1035569175855398,0.0,0.1188092492804434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357624148785567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675829767436545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24222657813052104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967799550133273,0.0672032392941249,0.0,0.0,0.12231341656113452,0.0,0.0,0.1002178865449216,0.0,0.0712070277122156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811662896158168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011011342247609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900830644590884,0.0,0.0,0.06753965339004896
mentalhealth,8Ball42,2018/02/09,"Chronic Fear? Little history:

I'm in the United States 

I suffer from depression and have been on Lithium for a year now, but it's done nothing for me. My shrink seems to think it's gods gift to man and a cure all.

But all that's beside the point. Lately (past few months), I have been suffering from chronic fear, like waking up in the middle of the night and thinking someone's in my bedroom. I can't sleep with my back to the door, and I can barely stay the night at my house if no one else is home. I live in a city with the lowest crime rate in the state. We haven't had a murder here in the 20 years I've lived here (just saying this to show how irrational my fears are).

I also have been having intrusive thoughts that I can't shake, images of my parents dead (they're still alive), and other things so horrible I don't really want to discuss them here. These keep me up at night and I have a really hard time getting to sleep. 

Im going to see my shrink next week and I will discuss this with him. I've googled the symptoms and it seems like I'm suffering from some sort of anxiety disorder.

I'm going to ask him to let me try something besides Lithium for the depression, but I really just want relief from this state of chronic fear and restlessness I've been suffering from, and to be able to get a good nights sleep. 

Does anyone else have these kinds of symptoms? Or anything that might help with them? I'm really nervous my doctor will just shrug it off and up my Lithium dose. Which isn't even for depression in the first place, it's a manic bipolar medication. I'm not even sure why he put me on it in the first place!


Thanks for any advice!!",3.7083407079646022,4.669967182890859,4.503410766961653,87.93352323008854,71.86135693215341,7.773893805309735,25.03945427728614,8.07648339933343,1.2481454277286137,1301,37,278,18,24,419,172,339,0.229,0.682,0.08900000000000001,-0.9952,2,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,2,2,14,22,1,7,20,0,25,13,4,1,3,40,45,19,2,3,9,1,1,2,0,3,9,1,3,1,17,16,0,1,5,1,0,4,7,15,0,3,7,3,29,7,46,33,4,46,0,7,1,0,13,21,0,7,19,176,46,1,0.08835437696434609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633887459442784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065696333683039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008400613644126,0.0,0.06759085654116026,0.0,0.0,0.06177943471505981,0.090529500437179,0.07270812396084518,0.0,0.0825994154974928,0.0,0.0,0.06793906209537078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22829848623736346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126177066537974,0.09043444871852448,0.07731951069113863,0.09041720361899537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476174891353728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671446538995105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39769295225543294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030837582003678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232303054288768,0.0,0.10042765711250808,0.07410745945267144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914816719178686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922207644886723,0.0,0.08862664407079901,0.0,0.0,0.10194908833112852,0.0,0.0,0.095437888808703,0.0,0.0,0.07853342988431013,0.0,0.09200748727052337,0.0,0.0,0.09966758566155813,0.0,0.0,0.09034833663823016,0.0,0.08633097126562597,0.08855429724594864,0.15603706717348534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900773943968332,0.0,0.09373003143275782,0.0,0.0,0.07052362074301546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396588226013457,0.3316583899655935,0.0,0.08477840762801428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987121246028941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810707958334536,0.0,0.08434425031861008,0.0,0.0,0.18462303731441834,0.0,0.08352344488976737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882055249183504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264083053059351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026294684706934,0.0,0.0,0.07040699916083565,0.1608690128600282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652545563161675,0.0,0.07486237688109999,0.06801951599145888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417400992006678,0.07055991957572827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327295465779518,0.1836680559053554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134483952385325,0.0,0.0,0.058698722070481,0.1132278343307512,0.0,0.07014350603001313,0.051520147734988135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998682222516628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422740143308616,0.0,0.07087255174693657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972608256610395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379464390600255
mentalhealth,BringBackThe60s,2018/02/09,"I REALLY need help...at wit's end.... Hi, I am new here and to reddit. I have very severe depression, anxiety, and experienced lot of traumatic events in my past ranging from being bullied, substance abuse, and toxic family members. I have nobody I can turn to. I'm at wits end and slipping every single day. I can't stop crying or do anything other than lay in my bed and waste away- I am officially under 100 pounds. I feel hopeless like nothing will ever get better, but I am NOT suicidal. 

I know the first question you're thinking if you read this; why don't I get help? I've tried. And tried. I am on an SNRI medication, but medication isn't a magic pill. I can't get any therapy. I'm on state insurance and every clinic in my area is booked up to 6 months, and even after its no guarantee I can get regular help. I live in a rural area with one of the highest heroin and pill abuse rates in the US, and because of that it always takes priority. In fact my county has closed libraries to take that money to fight the crisis. It's so bad it's not uncommon to see someone nodding off on the sidewalk or find dirty needles in every parking lot. The suicide rate in my area has increased exponentially because nobody can get any help. And because I am not addicted to heroin or opioids or suicidal, I can't get anywhere with therapy. 

I'm 22 and I don't know wtf im doing anymore. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Disgusted with myself. My family is so fed up with me and doesn't understand that I literally can't get the help I need. I don't have any money and I'm not working full time right now. That all went to college even though I don't know what to do with my degree and have a tremendous fear of working. I feel like a prisoner in my home. 

I just want someone to care or talk to. I have no friends. They all left when I had episodes or were concerned about my problems. I'm tired of this and wasting what feels like my meaningless life.

",2.2725521714608017,4.254096241116756,4.192038917089679,84.501008178229,77.70558375634519,7.118894529046812,26.17287084038353,8.07648339933343,1.7247080654258318,1525,60,305,27,36,518,201,394,0.244,0.6609999999999999,0.095,-0.997,0,0,1,0,3,2,47.0,1,1,1,4,11,15,2,3,12,0,34,9,0,0,4,58,65,30,3,5,14,0,3,3,1,1,8,1,2,0,13,23,1,1,10,2,2,2,16,9,0,2,4,6,41,6,43,59,7,42,0,2,1,0,12,25,0,10,17,193,54,5,0.0,0.2034551277863445,0.0,0.09359777672376524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144064510134307,0.0,0.0,0.17515893477085526,0.0,0.06568105331899532,0.0,0.08514795938189136,0.0,0.0,0.07065373056322001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806663169603621,0.0,0.07168775456201837,0.15701452442998987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593432939590578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753784427852053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431086413913872,0.05537123828826968,0.0,0.07394927763180943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208921886119448,0.0,0.0,0.11341665746915268,0.0776633798853825,0.21701693420527354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618783611643869,0.09661399980103494,0.1302369916772398,0.1226737921601376,0.0,0.0,0.07847255896704887,0.07303068012250666,0.0,0.0,0.06633359533123287,0.0,0.31400043891855256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28774368013304763,0.0,0.08612246733628752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274125797887343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155575822704938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328485221323587,0.0,0.060643969109231616,0.12583748935017336,0.0,0.0758140927132673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598662103684393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298558944525338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853095124560009,0.0,0.0,0.12732507986003885,0.0,0.08292208829774013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823829641561684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817953047365927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196107411294275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215440846114559,0.0,0.0,0.09618048992164488,0.0,0.08588112759712943,0.0,0.05500276492134252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332217170046157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841762484689358,0.0,0.0,0.0969949808743279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549422863194406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178104320381481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817437996871201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910890112743684,0.06900932234058736,0.0,0.0,0.19637196700047688,0.0,0.0,0.05501427119320226,0.08435494417598174,0.0,0.05006442799439311,0.09868101806371844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658374728862715,0.09338873312159346,0.0,0.08938109479561353,0.10327647415437703,0.0,0.0,0.07084175368228046,0.05064120992946768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959112719937092,0.07747339430075237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501113767075436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoNotTesselate,2018/02/09,"Taking a break from my relationship to find happiness on my own, for my sake and his.. and to ponder my attachment to BDSM. And it's the furthest thing from easy. I love him and I want to be with him but if I don't do this the codependency will ruin our chances altogether. I also won't be much good on my own or with anyone else if I don't see this through without just finding a crutch again.

I've always jumped from one relationship to the next ever since I was 15. Even before then with the less serious ones in middle school. I'm 24 now and miserable because I have damn near ruined things with the man of my dreams. He wants me to do whatever I need to do, says he will be okay. I'm glad he's being so supportive. He's been here before. He's older than me so he knows full well what it's like.

I'm thinking some of the darker shit from my past is what started the pathway for this cycle in my brain if that makes any sense. I was molested when I was very young, and then raped by an ex when I was just out of high school. The online Dominant I'd been talking to quit returning my calls after that day. I've hunted affirmation ever since, whether in the form of vanilla relationships or D/s dynamics.

It's not my fault that those assaults happened but I realize it is my responsibility to work on myself now, so here I am. I'm looking specifically for advice on how to get through the toughest moments so I can find peace on the other side. Thanks in advance, and thanks for reading.",3.2771739130434767,4.51474431045752,4.71503552145496,84.95461636828647,73.21568627450979,7.805399261153737,26.049445865302644,8.321376580360154,1.5431144075021308,1173,39,249,19,23,392,172,306,0.126,0.726,0.14800000000000002,0.2761,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,3,19,21,5,1,14,1,23,4,2,2,2,39,43,25,0,6,12,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,16,12,0,0,7,2,0,2,5,10,1,2,6,3,32,11,43,30,7,36,0,3,2,2,19,15,2,6,19,174,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829563053332776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680934652859156,0.10072923338666268,0.0,0.0,0.08232300252078302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464596299106984,0.12403733991657125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379530543137533,0.0,0.20602140994694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513979782885666,0.12361286907542332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780718367889258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112770195954457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995709545972926,0.21900621717439286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319320827280118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632473562003287,0.0,0.0,0.10153698069794588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705042402614698,0.12886757046484995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790350884040708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652983507008481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059142400965931326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016575037575372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092587900530295,0.0,0.08080657714060617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899092269129201,0.08976233114219317,0.0,0.0,0.12874563564557334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406289431161655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556273254857488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875916349952304,0.12108989403678233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899101734727304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626949203875992,0.0,0.2450325656000784,0.09646686268282748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426340867705503,0.2002794248546104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568486270476101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737420136290826,0.0,0.0,0.09101989921502436,0.09730113895303802,0.0,0.2229062893698551,0.0,0.0,0.1608499617685833,0.07756852355904949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988481389075174,0.14280526853396036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884490207441587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669475748984592,0.0,0.08813103552261244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smishmortion,2018/02/09,"Need Help. No friends, no hobbies, nothing to help me I have no friends or hobbies, i used to collect comics but it became too expensive and i never read them. Anyway i just found out two people younger than me are getting married in the next two weeks, yet i dont have a single person i can call a friend. I dont use or drink so thats out of the question and ive tried reaching out to a ton of people but no one will answer me. 

Im currently in treatment for my medication resistant depression and was doing alright (i thought) until all this. Now im in bed crying to myself because i honestly dont know what else to do. Please help",1.4776981796829105,3.570580022900767,3.3827480916030552,88.75806811509104,80.8320610687023,5.862830299471521,26.107457428068123,7.010146845296331,1.2291745155607745,497,21,102,6,13,167,86,131,0.152,0.6920000000000001,0.156,0.1491,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,0,5,1,12,2,0,2,2,21,19,9,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,1,4,6,1,0,5,3,1,0,8,1,0,3,3,0,16,5,16,15,3,13,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,3,7,76,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405682807652476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080171662926844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514663459601177,0.0,0.0,0.11876496914242707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4848202581828051,0.1350802895607708,0.0,0.0,0.11518990005796975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118992234613424,0.319601799567735,0.0,0.07204214570762392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27727548167878124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978910138089814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578106596016622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891026965023906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224413046957148,0.10634972909152307,0.0,0.14664821424347302,0.0,0.0,0.13230974675079607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343823716342596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191191955827968,0.12040075061152232,0.0,0.15136246773610146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446902638483784,0.0,0.13792791215316091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946973148829536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361866398601848,0.0,0.2693981539618585,0.0,0.0,0.23818640572505284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060751948024652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,000IAM000,2018/02/09,"I 28/M am really into the 29/F I am talking to. However; she is dominating my thoughts and I want to combat that. How? We were best friends for 2 years before things turned romantic/sexual. Anways, for the past month and a half we have been texting constantly, going on dates, and having sex.

Now I find that I am REALLY into her and she is dominating my thoughts. I know this is not healthy. I also am starting to feel attached.

For example; she recently told me she was going to be very busy with school. So over the best week her texts to me went from like 40 a day to 3. They were shorter and less flirty. I couldn't help but think she was being wierd. When I asked her if something was up she said she was just busy. I felt stupid and needy like I am not being the fun guy I was when we met simply because I like her.

Also this has never been my style. I have hooked up with many girls but I usually get away before I can catch any real feelings. Is this a stage in dating?",0.7884338433843361,2.982597960396042,2.7117011701170135,91.97486048604864,84.24752475247523,5.850945094509453,19.082808280828086,7.1686216300943375,0.3270316831683173,756,20,165,11,22,252,122,202,0.098,0.812,0.08900000000000001,-0.4283,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,3,0,1,2,8,8,1,0,7,0,27,1,0,1,1,32,45,15,0,3,6,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,6,13,0,0,8,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,16,4,36,7,20,25,3,28,0,0,0,1,24,8,0,1,18,120,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432395962439049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342087108721112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217599743010675,0.0,0.1428859015102753,0.0,0.0,0.09270768237507966,0.0,0.2588209009255811,0.0,0.3192010315013151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434644857037578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808020991521632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537943028102858,0.0,0.14602242276446945,0.0,0.13900005298784976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174980577578418,0.0,0.07945648812492924,0.0,0.17286323678613674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058493883080545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019372563145475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358020584222019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22289852551994435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541871226957635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139027935161525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729489597581208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517933140709668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731024368704304,0.1948550509676944,0.0,0.15016247664857693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466466291536065,0.0,0.0,0.15391494845378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708003588829635,0.0,0.0,0.10764431408678632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222376278824438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103642148044707,0.0974479067791592,0.0,0.2414719976647905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453207221588149,0.0,0.0,0.16542137816380467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749666853889345,0.1254834510968861,0.08970181368139922,0.0,0.12199088424957945,0.0,0.0,0.14098139583699248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979357232862672
mentalhealth,ReturnToForm,2018/02/09,"Returning to serious martial arts training after long term depression (X-post from /r/sportspsychology) Hey ya'll, I'm a 29 yr old male, just made an account on reddit for the first time because I need some help overcoming some mental obstacles in regard to the pain of lost time, lost opportunities, and failing to see the talent I had for what it was and capitalizing on my twenties to bring my skills in combat sports to the levels that they could be. I'm hoping to find someone willing to share their experience or reference to the experiences of professional athletes, fighters in particular, or even other performance based activities in regards to being held back by emotional trauma, depression/anxiety, and life circumstance. Although, I am less interested in cases of injury unless they really stand out or are strongly tied to depression and the like, as these seem to be more easily found. In the following paragraphs I'll detail the specifics of my circumstances, and please don't misunderstand, I don't think I was quite expert level in any broad facet of combat, but the potential was pointed out and/or apparent to me on multiple occasions and I have no intention to brag

I started karate when I was 7, received my black belt at 13 and began teaching at that time, and while I didn't take competition too seriously, I have competed with top level competitors in AAU point sparring, though I was 17 at the time, fighting up in age division(didn't want to wear head gear lololol), though I was definitely a tier or so below them(and lacked height to be top tier without tremendous effort given the advantage offered by reach in point fighting) I definitely had the coordination and skills to expand upon and excel in some facet of combat, with particular interest in MMA. I continued to teach at that school until I left home to continue education in a university city with a feeder community college I attended with the intent of transferring as well as seeing a girl(fall in love, co-dependence...etc..). During that time I fell off any sort of a training regiment, sometimes lifting and then falling off the wagon, never really getting out of shape by normal standards though. Eventually my relationship became emotionally abusive (lies lies lies, manipulating our social circle, isolation...etc...) and after I allowed myself to suffer for a year I finally called it quits. This left me in a haze of suicidal darkness that only this year am I 100% confident in my ability to rise beyond. During this period I realized how long I've been suicidal (first ideations I remember being in 4th grade), how dysfunctional my home life was (alcoholism, gas-lighting mostly, mom has serious childhood trauma that hasn't fully dealt with because, let's just say holy shit, drunk despondent/temperamental dad, don't remember a life lesson that wasn't a funny story about cutting corners or someone being dumber than him), and how my depression/anxiety throughout my life, especially after this relationship, has affected my motivation, discipline, and desire for achievement, as well as my attitude toward those very concepts. I'll leave most details around the nature of my depression/anxiety, trauma, and such to be answered in inquiring comments, but I'll surmise by saying I've also dealt with a lot of abandonment, and repeat exposure to trauma from then till now, giving emotional support to be ghosted upon when I have similar needs by people I considered myself very close to and who postured themselves as being people I could rely on..etc...

After the relationship I mentioned some friends and I got serious with our lifting and I made the biggest athletic gains I've ever made, bringing my squat up from 175x5x3 to 300x5x3(stopped training passed this point) in three months. Unfortunately, I would go through several cycles like this where I would get my lifts, or some aspect of my ability up, but lose out to depression and hopelessness. The instances that really weigh on my mind are the 4 times, 4 years in a row, that I signed up for an MMA gym in Tallahassee. I actually, when I had only been lifting at the time, signed up for the fight team tryouts only knowing about it a day in advance. Only ever having worked jujitsu out of a book, dabbled(like, barely) with boxing and kickboxing and having lifted a heavy squat and dead lift the previous day managed to get on the fight team, with huge compliments to my striking(the dude holding pads stopped and looked me in the eye after my first punch commented that my explosiveness was totally uncommon in Amateur MMA) and some some well deserved condescension toward my grappling and level of conditioning. I basically got in on my striking and not giving up despite my total exhaustion. I only went for two weeks before getting sick and then not picking it back up despite having paid 3 months in advance. During the 2-3 weeks I did train I was also asked if I was a judo black belt, which they assumed as their judo instructor struggled to take me down(till he really ""turned it on""). A funny aside, they would actually warn students who were I think overall better than me in judo/takedowns about my skills, only for me to stalemate till I attempted a takedown myself. For some reason takedown defense is very intuitive to me, up to a certain level i would assume, anyway. I even ran into that instructor later when working on a remodel and he encouraged me to come back in and train, stating that I was quite good for it. I did train there again, twice, in two subsequent following years after breakups, standing out among participants only to fall off shortly after starting. It's the pang of loss I felt in my gut when these memories popped into my head that prompted me to write this.

Eventually I'm where I'm at now, I've been teaching a friend striking consistently for 6 months now to get my head back in the game in, we're matting out his garage so we can spar, hanging bags so we can do the real work, etc... I've made great stride and continue to do so in staying disciplined given that this struggle is essentially reflected in my career as well, and therefore finances/stability, although I am also making strides here as well. I've been looking forward to participating in local MMA once I have insurance I'll be returning to the previously mentioned MMA school, however, today it really hit me how much it hurts to think about the lost time and opportunities as my desire to train and fight and teach has risen. At this age, to pursue to the fullest of my ability I have to be able to be honest about my potential, act without unnecessary hesitation and capitalize on what's still in front of me, and this process is one that rubs right against and confronts directly these memories that flaunt a past wealth I could not see. And so, as I said earlier I would appreciate anybody's shared experiences or the references to the experiences of others that might offer me insight into overcoming and coping with the grief of lost time, as well as the struggle of trying to participate at relatively high level this late in the game.

Thanks in advance Reddit",13.654284937281165,9.578310989835813,12.61694819322161,54.12789500968829,54.81704456606724,15.906727402522352,48.75821803718938,13.547756875382571,6.523222374817282,5752,268,893,153,46,1882,572,1279,0.133,0.743,0.124,-0.9489,3,1,1,0,9,1,158.0,4,0,6,40,55,69,9,3,60,0,73,19,7,18,6,170,135,94,5,17,19,2,2,2,2,7,8,3,3,1,48,65,4,7,22,9,3,22,13,37,6,8,43,13,108,32,216,68,19,214,0,15,8,1,55,112,1,25,80,641,156,23,0.0460138086585332,0.054518839026688616,0.08980567935806268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049174767763185516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039167847969347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258193553706996,0.0,0.1056013130353355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04096204520003947,0.043016699688143686,0.0,0.0,0.14152711438203433,0.0,0.056099181347021534,0.0,0.03915436209126567,0.0,0.0,0.04069547448597454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046985243292586534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039636821818264334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110214846108454,0.0,0.0,0.059350199914680275,0.0,0.118894877918701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155278024354567,0.0,0.0,0.20527023942107955,0.060783373304792464,0.08324424854380927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004133690271934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418047224097904,0.05040587824822465,0.042055787503469486,0.11741796641634987,0.0,0.05045176617785453,0.07110030885479046,0.0,0.12020157937083903,0.08828127617788116,0.026150707849281075,0.03859419959241256,0.07360289245129187,0.05073038648904743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167032800332333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030842086014356063,0.048616115181140486,0.09231120364228927,0.0457020943876456,0.0,0.0,0.04925873384918657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02528798587367377,0.0,0.05190558038725734,0.04872197949990848,0.09998827548416682,0.04705223688426737,0.13000365538204275,0.04496004532661515,0.0,0.0,0.08144154538537253,0.07728002079865258,0.051477682012473186,0.2009180307716867,0.03911929465211583,0.041529258813359886,0.17415751328021165,0.03071457458265084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637109656450395,0.04881337948481725,0.046460829682748915,0.053890816576143856,0.11018334922169956,0.0,0.03382544378070286,0.06823731216289981,0.03548868589878528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045083762828732006,0.0,0.0,0.04828375183137794,0.04900320449307954,0.031180147593750106,0.2449690246251072,0.0489619366274082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043925386935545534,0.06380036249000673,0.0,0.0,0.05050934421966185,0.17399168863859096,0.0,0.04406850930335733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682404838003638,0.0,0.0523737879581378,0.14738812038782806,0.047309858889982286,0.0,0.14820483093627376,0.10424935070839356,0.03929554117920825,0.04376966909042302,0.07318405500862478,0.0,0.09313686184487524,0.11000114421888313,0.041889243244935585,0.0,0.051982506474227565,0.047232513351786264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046905283271812266,0.07797470151184442,0.0,0.04550883333333019,0.0,0.06513762120056646,0.04904459769794305,0.03674668703316437,0.07693920880099286,0.0,0.14431087043658744,0.0,0.10066327665816743,0.05221592477740095,0.0,0.0,0.06919331524414712,0.0,0.0,0.04236333286261632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845137189668104,0.13562500014642515,0.0,0.2414791967583411,0.0,0.04361571035486295,0.0,0.0,0.031240355653417026,0.050049810622706414,0.08989760998297691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389863329751275,0.0271401365234767,0.0,0.07381900359144633,0.0,0.2482316401217309,0.04265526161908258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871133908046974,0.0,0.10049580217568503,0.0,0.0,0.1634344473517803,0.0,0.0,0.11852553661647512
mentalhealth,lunarscapes,2018/02/09,"Mom Dying I don't know what to do. My mom is 54 years old and I'm only 17. I am terrified of her dying. Every day I get extremely anxious about her dying. I talk to a therapist once a week and have shared this fear with them. What should I do? I know if she died, I would commit suicide. I am also extremely anxious on how I would successfully do it too.",0.17684210526315525,2.1284227368421083,3.175526315789476,89.21618421052631,84.78947368421052,6.43157894736842,20.026315789473685,7.6454224807358475,0.7270842105263159,272,8,61,5,8,97,51,76,0.249,0.657,0.095,-0.9279,0,0,0,0,0,2,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,3,0,1,2,0,11,0,0,1,1,11,15,5,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,14,2,6,12,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,43,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425848971211667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510736226622023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002081810931105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6450456556099925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091557347213806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484733026537472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118039467827676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078716307961894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36396175342162973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304669417555714,0.16547617352745003,0.0,0.1181745947522361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996208725983475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488972405161852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040983988783946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463762701117563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22075704844294766,0.0,0.0,0.10006055964846046
mentalhealth,TheHumanoidStampede,2018/02/09,Tips for seeking mental health therapy I recently recognized the value of managing my mental health and how everyone should do this without the stigma surrounding the topic. I have never gone to any sessions and I am planning to schedule one with my health care provider. Is there anything I should expect or have in mind about the whole experience? ,8.277950819672133,9.826872491803279,7.57389344262295,67.92346311475413,61.78688524590165,10.69016393442623,38.200819672131146,10.686352973137794,4.674144262295083,286,14,41,7,4,89,47,61,0.0,0.908,0.092,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,7,3,0,1,1,11,9,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,6,1,8,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,34,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652050339687655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520452483871284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468343078499068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918303136935417,0.0,0.1963772271923941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6401805597738207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40462829356253216,0.0,0.20270564667237811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483488077564936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603700201845725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198221661526118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295812071163668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241361480269876,0.0,0.19352096678286534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arabellalalalo,2018/02/09,"I think my biggest problem is paranoia Hey
I have social anxiety but I think it stems from me being socially paranoid. 
I have this habit of presuming people know my past, anything questionable, dark, traumatic or embarrassing about me but that they are just being polite and not bringing it up to my face in casual convo.

When people act any way differently towards me, i can convince myself in a split second it's cos they know something and are judging or pitying.

 I assume people talk about me and generally have bad intentions. 

I can then rationalise that they do not know me that well and have no reason to hate on me but it takes sometimes a full hour, day, week to get that through to my paranoid brain. 

This has a terrible effect on me socially. 
I'll go weeks where i act a certain way around people, assuming they think I'm a joke and are just tolerating my presence. 
I will be a meek and compromised version of myself.

Then I'll snap out of it and realise I just fed this cycle of people seeing me as being all quiet and fleeting which in turn makes them act weird towards me, but not cos they have dirt on me. 

i'm quiet af and my confidence deflates so easily in social situations once my paranoia kicks in. 

I think i got this way cos alot of things have happened me that I never told anyone bar maybe family. traumatic stuff I'd want to keep private.
 
Its such a huge part of my internal life so i find it hard to get out of my head and realise the people around me are not aware of any of this stuff.

I am okay with myself when my thoughts aren't racing about what people are saying or thinking about me.
When my head is clear I can see I am a good person and the people around me generally are too. 
What is the best treatment/practices for paranoia?
Currently my treatment is to talk myself through these thoughts rationally until i accept they are very unlikely, which can take hours. To function socially I'd need to be able to do this in a few seconds?",4.845473785473786,6.025456402597399,5.632929292929294,80.07457912457916,69.38961038961038,8.50889850889851,29.583934583934585,8.841846274778883,2.3651741221741225,1565,59,293,27,27,511,187,385,0.139,0.755,0.105,-0.9241,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,7,2,19,16,1,1,13,1,33,7,4,7,4,65,63,27,0,3,14,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,26,17,2,1,18,3,0,5,7,7,1,2,5,6,55,9,47,52,7,43,0,1,2,0,19,21,0,7,14,219,81,0,0.08348692888324385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354794905876985,0.0,0.06386727208190833,0.0,0.0,0.05837600184294817,0.0,0.06870262892355268,0.2229632008886349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970809836615947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761438112877216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319902341881632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384216242839013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722607139597181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870404640472856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630554050604202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723694909115767,0.0,0.0474475456413786,0.07002487493675291,0.06677212370402738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382721549163578,0.0,0.0747878897753564,0.08242605791993017,0.17136335002754827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644356155776679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420701838409642,0.0,0.0,0.13764669822725195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896928687204834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055728173316192536,0.0,0.08387384146915305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190449990789058,0.06439026636066585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891085454205479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040820823872524,0.0796977203619675,0.4630345960236506,0.07289756605988355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988571578523636,0.0,0.0,0.09352446723049744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085838467620345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663921567679161,0.0,0.0,0.1330565464616493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384280602996396,0.0,0.4255220511979925,0.0,0.06427231665662872,0.08257070742077208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911451189971593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554356088740534,0.13420726201538402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546500584813232,0.2674752648697234,0.0,0.13255859190568925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977533830167688,0.0,0.0,0.09080980474983598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888545978718698,0.04924275372707775,0.1988041144525472,0.1339363569924372,0.0,0.07506477544312366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catfinity,2018/02/09,"What are some things that help your psychiatrist diagnose you better/things you can take note of to tell your psychiatrist? Hello!

I've read a bit on the internet and have a history with psychiatry (I've been in and out of hospitals and therapy for a solid year and had experiences when I was younger), but I'm posting today because I feel like I've lacked the proper...communication, I suppose is a good term, with my psychiatrists in terms of my experiences. I wrote down a list once, and that seemed helpful, but I figured I would post here to see if anyone had any tips for what they did to help their psychiatrist diagnose them? 

I understand a psychiatric diagnosis is not one that is easy to make, and it usually takes a bit of time to make one. I would just like to figure out what's going on so I can be on the proper medication and not potentially be making things worse (ie antidepressants when I might have bipolar). I feel medicine is a missing link for me at this point as I've had a hard time responding to therapy and DBT skills (which I've known about and used for quite some time- useful in the past but they feel rather ineffective now). I'm familiar with mood charting (I try to fill one out but I regularly have a hard time doing things).

TL;DR: What do you feel like helped you communicate with your psychiatrist? What types of things did you take note of, write down, etc outside of appointments that helped you and your doctor(s) while in an appointment?",5.65957669975651,6.785198153024916,6.1771829930698665,77.11692264469005,67.46975088967972,10.186252107136168,29.736092901292377,10.307518312809881,2.9489743772242005,1175,42,228,30,19,381,148,281,0.043,0.838,0.119,0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,10,4,3,8,7,0,0,15,0,24,4,0,5,0,49,44,20,0,5,9,0,6,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,16,17,0,0,10,1,0,2,2,2,0,3,8,7,30,4,38,31,8,32,0,1,1,0,24,14,0,5,17,155,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975386693562349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172215612065645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252818480757333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907184058088221,0.22396857792841385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822098979794645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498887986902217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439717263091168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006741937501288,0.0,0.0,0.20745807342193695,0.14655783422103286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829519269216647,0.08603424102347862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837723906078204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34376609566319777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033748919165238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540691143885487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033325574033378,0.0,0.1088148504210182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092380085817158,0.2085204793641358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791853093399128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696562588745504,0.0,0.1964751590130568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910012125979597,0.10260180140730517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817382322951139,0.09337955671282852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313687454512785,0.0,0.08965423507816718,0.0,0.2346047161218021,0.0,0.2725825464632036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23924699837419205,0.0,0.09722819948877046,0.0,0.0,0.06964104234133853,0.0,0.0,0.10678319666233148,0.0,0.1771820795125523,0.11297081726927148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453171338497184,0.14573131489703353,0.0,0.0,0.06605432093676386
mentalhealth,zwarrenh,2018/02/09,"Not sure of my feelings or thoughts Sometimes I can't tell if my emotions are real or not. I think I'm faking them half the time, then I dont think I am. I don't know which is true. The same is with my thoughts an actions. Even the things I say don't feel genuine, like I'm just choosing the ""right"" response rather than what I want to say, but I don't know what I want to say. Sometimes I get twitchy and start saying random words, then once I realize I'm probably faking this, I try and sometimes manage to just stop myself from doing it. But then it keeps happening. Most of the time my thoughts just berate me and tell me to kill myself but then it could just be me trying to make myself depressed. I'm either believing everythings real, or believing it's all fake, or just confused as to whats true. I even think Im faking faking it, or thinking it's fake. I also can't tell if this is all because I smoke weed, but a lot of the time it still happens when I'm not high. 

Tl;dr: I think everything I think and feel is fake, but don't, what the hell is going on, my brain hurts.",3.5639473684210543,3.9668510087719326,4.570456140350878,89.36752631578949,71.80701754385964,7.308070175438597,26.16491228070176,7.03164865440522,0.9863522807017544,842,25,188,7,15,275,108,228,0.155,0.7440000000000001,0.101,-0.9479,0,0,1,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,0,11,16,2,1,9,0,17,1,1,1,5,62,45,23,1,6,22,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,15,5,0,2,16,0,0,2,10,12,0,1,3,7,29,4,14,40,6,16,1,2,0,0,8,3,1,11,12,125,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823367747734271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276323165599422,0.0,0.0,0.23200047915425706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493699209584908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220488252100454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867897399265433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066791349039913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581571994030805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360077223217451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506694383367092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617843970472456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053792154468713216,0.0,0.05851432749293749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820937124048774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878249650216758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022040783565208,0.0,0.11121406277019408,0.0,0.0,0.09151524525253167,0.1139095701301788,0.0,0.11316783435287425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050300871997451466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753259115429847,0.0,0.0,0.06872634906457778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096486401988645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110078895721544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343811875602742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792695703782319,0.0,0.3275105046270135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054891048650372,0.0,0.07287535238067444,0.0,0.08222368938277791,0.08607885657964252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703822791946584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699737506758921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840179977117589,0.3958342215585029,0.0,0.24521532422557105,0.18010975564265036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980565361638114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145650862612567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BTKKiller,2018/02/09,"This is really weird anyone know anything? I don’t know if this is a mental condition and I can’t find anything like it.  Basically, I keep imagining that certain people in my life or strangers can see and hear what I am experiencing.  It’s a bit hard to explain but I usually end up changing my behavior a bit so it’s not embarrassing if they are in fact watching.  I’m a 17 year old white male and I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember.  Any thoughts??",2.5268750000000004,4.150521270833334,4.823333333333334,81.855,75.875,8.55,28.66666666666667,9.188382445141503,2.484316666666667,366,16,77,9,8,128,69,96,0.032,0.885,0.083,0.6503,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,4,0,10,1,0,0,2,18,18,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,3,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,6,9,2,7,16,2,8,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,3,6,47,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897882501228873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290047882501195,0.0,0.3363587179583031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462389135915788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161966988643156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101144222546375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679076899871594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830756633173168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303402025883487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816537296917472,0.0,0.0,0.2246331650492817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435280019101118,0.099845014673459,0.0,0.0,0.18086130107208867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20595721304428893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144522709028384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168464650581136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092485949167645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315117317067385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628566842529402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224720482446525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250850330527412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160778483074656
mentalhealth,wordstar12342,2018/02/09,"Got a weird chest pressure thingy whenever i get stressed I don't know if this is just me but whenever i get really frustrated or stressed out, my chest feels really weird. Its not like my heart is beating really fast and i can feel that, its just a really weird feeling of sorta closing in around my heart and all i wanna do at that moment is stab myself in the chest, not to kill myself or anything but because i feel like it would let out some of that built up pressure. Does anyone else get this or know what is is?

Sorry if i worded it poorly but i really don't know how else to describe it.",4.340081967213114,4.910931491803279,5.349303278688523,83.87264344262297,70.14754098360656,8.722950819672132,25.90573770491803,8.841846274778883,1.7257836065573762,470,13,97,8,8,155,67,122,0.259,0.6890000000000001,0.053,-0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,2,4,3,0,11,5,5,1,1,32,22,11,1,4,12,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,0,7,0,1,0,4,9,0,0,1,4,14,2,12,19,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,7,4,68,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060640963861246,0.15542275037709316,0.12482667579277015,0.13503488695710644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246787574432404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274359133094862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25343248393490464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067929672734251,0.10836626431594668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377528749329821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131911643252967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35950310487558274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782080366125926,0.0,0.2500920276671991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511172495703207,0.0,0.14821463646693134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858775502589305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980280920599589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347517231029998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775512802287299,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ava-lees,2018/02/09,"Trying to over Fear of having people touch me Ok so my life has been bad so far (abuse from who i thought was my father in early years, abuse from my mother throughout (her also accusing me of incest and telling all her friends) (she is also addicted to drugs so would steal my stuff to sell even sold my pet cat :( ) because of all the abuse and such i dont like anyone touching me in anyway. Even if them touching me is an accident I still freak out when a person touches me. Does anyone have any tips on how I can fix this?",2.474070612668747,4.130912710280377,3.493395638629284,91.19207684319835,76.10280373831776,5.877050882658359,22.16926272066459,6.42735559955562,0.3604857736240912,408,11,86,3,9,131,78,107,0.251,0.731,0.018000000000000002,-0.9819,0,0,1,0,3,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,12,7,0,1,3,1,10,4,0,1,2,9,12,10,0,2,1,2,4,1,1,1,3,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,4,0,0,4,4,18,3,13,7,2,10,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,1,5,64,21,0,0.0,0.6126313159702277,0.0,0.18789050195016824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756616916139972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172061321936524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410268241974217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143907779220979,0.1050649521860814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082750591954566,0.0,0.20199674597304104,0.0,0.19987507184138328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22767541545651515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394534307801298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315970698457955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173820997706335,0.0842031006353655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948805443349145,0.15049222526754785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376415421199829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973032562107924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064435263482107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682924240455632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701655511508464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243481622560327,0.0,0.0,0.11098985349187056
mentalhealth,Flashycats,2018/02/09,"Managing medication changes? I live in an area with really poor mental health services and currently there's no permanent psychiatrist. Over the course of the last two weeks my meds have been changed a bunch and I'm feeling really physically poorly because I'm tackling benzo and antipsychotic withdrawal at the same time. Does anyone have any advice for making this less unpleasant? Thankfully I'm keeping my mental health stable (it's a miracle!) but damn, I feel like I lost a fight with a bus.",6.3602889245585885,8.628731898876406,6.869695024077046,68.45584269662923,67.08988764044943,10.928410914927769,32.939004815409305,10.914260884657429,4.385660032102728,405,18,63,13,7,132,68,89,0.17800000000000002,0.7240000000000001,0.098,-0.8534,1,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,2,0,8,0,3,3,0,1,0,11,12,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,5,2,7,10,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,5,35,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329991038884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275600706211079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115951418568172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434634408476535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968671655231508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641515417889098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969103548800076,0.13400638921255292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3987751552971849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672872709938394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529018228604627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164156569740628,0.0,0.16563558747199125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476450571833996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521035884355014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083578488316384,0.18896598710426232,0.378070783639638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403356672693149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269743050691985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937875328354812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832373092919881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046446279576953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueburyme,2018/02/09,"Emotionally unstable? Inb4 Go see a real therapist—

I’m trying to self diagnose but I’d like an outside opinion. Sometimes I bawl over minuscule things. 

Today I was having a conversation with my mom about how I was stressed out (something minor) and my eyes started tearing up. When she left I cried uncontrollably. 

It’s so hard for me to talk about my emotions. I don’t show them very often but when someone does actually notice and asks “what’s wrong?” I can’t even speak, I just cry. 

It happens often when I’m talking to my mom when I’m not happy. I’m wondering if I have some type of repressed memories that make me become over-emotional? 

Maybe I’m just depressed? ",3.2614358974358986,5.5302219384615405,4.882692307692313,79.35147435897437,75.76923076923076,7.717948717948719,29.294871794871803,8.59863814320734,2.5533333333333332,532,24,96,11,12,179,92,130,0.252,0.7240000000000001,0.024,-0.9848,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,3,3,0,6,2,1,2,0,19,18,11,0,1,6,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,4,16,2,11,16,1,11,0,1,2,0,10,4,0,6,7,59,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.13686468085401618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111569148621496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489613845081146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30811813224445384,0.0,0.0,0.12079792456956155,0.1423517464899876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273453811488713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4732902729279776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263441964980876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970783829000991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240234383941896,0.1492997279735433,0.12563728942528268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238305095072285,0.0,0.0,0.06851952235977192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361858799732972,0.0,0.14090091494121235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285203993501805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967661876482125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963626855772786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176183662852347,0.0,0.1463123125136589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883416186359085,0.10797202159437183,0.1387117606531564,0.0,0.09927033346811316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065697187253627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254567774468429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628421450591157,0.09317648904987558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294148701083444,0.0,0.0,0.09522117836720116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157217094167602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520961560082443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334238016453702,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,horseaholic2010,2018/02/09,"Weight/self esteem issues I have a staphylococcus Infection which covers my legs and is spreading to my arms and even face. I get a lot of looks in public and even some grimaces so it makes me feel awful about myself. I’m also about 10kg overweight. My mum keeps going off at me about it and it makes me feel even worse about myself.

The worst thing about that is that I was anorexic and hated myself for it. I love the way I look now and it’s not affecting my life at the moment and it’s just not something I want to change. I’ll feel too skinny otherwise. I am doing some exercise but not enough to lose weight...which is what I want but mum has other ideas. 

I would love your opinions about what I should do. How can I change my thinking? Thanks all ",1.2053857906799124,3.5361312727272747,2.271512605042016,94.91172268907565,83.67532467532467,4.922230710466005,16.851031321619562,6.2272716619740125,-0.4181569136745607,592,12,127,5,17,187,92,154,0.1,0.8,0.099,0.7044,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,15,6,1,0,5,1,12,10,4,4,1,32,30,12,0,4,6,2,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,13,7,2,1,5,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,5,23,3,15,27,6,8,0,1,2,2,6,4,0,4,2,95,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589943605183504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330873323594643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267079061338086,0.0,0.3119498350425167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388091777506228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225245560395547,0.0,0.08947303137128436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554328926057162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772314990634192,0.0,0.16431957097006175,0.0,0.13993404282769606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119986888518324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26440881696750856,0.17612770882412795,0.0,0.13384424994551344,0.2841795868815145,0.0,0.21017603890708614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423737499829438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119992566082452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494352627296989,0.0,0.0,0.1045917579334294,0.10087696820237893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857166009104973,0.12496330792743007,0.0,0.3834229457772537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604380882721482,0.1118361729964137,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rstones1016,2018/02/09,"My dad thinks I'm schizophrenic So within the last couple of days I've had various arguments wity parents about certain events that either did or didn't happen.  I say did or didn't because I am legitimately not sure.  Whether or not my dad is right,I do agree with him that something is very wrong.  Essentially whole chunks of my memory are being erased,seemingly on the fly at random.  The other day my parents and I had a conversation.  This conversation went on for around five minutes or so.  Then about two minutes later when my parents mentioned said conversation I had no idea what they were talking about.  I couldn't remember a single thing.  This has been happening in one way or another for awhile.  It has just been more frequent within the last week or so.  Sometimes I think I remember something correctly, and it turns out I was off by more than a mile.  My focus is always off.  I have never had any semblance of self esteem.  Depression happens,I've been diagnosed with some minor mental problems before but nothing that couldn't be fixed fairly easily.  So essentially the memory issues and minor personality problems make my dad think schizophrenia.  I personally think that the simple fact I wrote this all out rules out the possibility of it being said mental issue.  I'd love to get the Reddit community's opinion.",5.3845061728395045,7.654730855967081,6.0958251028806565,72.99904629629633,69.65843621399176,8.810617283950616,29.43395061728395,9.3871,2.967838024691358,1070,42,174,24,20,349,149,243,0.064,0.884,0.052000000000000005,0.083,3,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,11,0,27,3,0,1,6,43,42,17,0,4,12,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,13,9,0,0,7,0,0,1,8,4,0,3,17,3,20,3,26,20,8,26,0,1,0,1,21,13,0,9,11,130,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941015294803122,0.0,0.0,0.07690637750493401,0.11858672925336185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067577758640532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893977920890917,0.0,0.09623288657066477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513404837819314,0.0,0.14586985335178734,0.0,0.09740589715064993,0.11478590900652798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059085855753421075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000136066499681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766700182146012,0.0,0.23607714557604556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437000313409135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206986499829487,0.0,0.07548972870478238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22794009338973265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722345358811484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085147386228101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663400567354121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767255506170673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749498889462394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749413717794478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21642737068729972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25622217821866183,0.09657987399251218,0.21515261012278464,0.08993522673170212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295462825635236,0.11797952750729895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741273563771015,0.1118507916415932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658778764386442,0.0,0.0,0.09089899414314027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513324042272311,0.28985892023686033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230115239091734,0.11047436406064598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331267044290456,0.0,0.08976709488434294,0.0907155093322262,0.0,0.0,0.10483733443193777,0.0,0.12626307978483214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364825111330112,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reign_1,2018/02/09,"Do I have an eating disorder 6 years ago I was diagnosed with anorexia and for the next 4 years I never went a day without counting calories. Then, I started college, stopped working out and counting calories, binged really bad and gained 22 pounds in 2 months. Over the last year and a half I have lost 17 of it, but my ED type behavior is starting to act up.

1. I’ve become a vegetarian again. I refuse to eat meat.
2. I won’t eat sweets with sugar in them.
3. Breakfast must be milk, a protein shake, or a skinny mocha because I cannot eat breakfast.
4. I can’t eat until I’ve worked out, even if that means I have to wait til 3
3. I have to burn 1050 calories a day—at least 2.5 hours of working out—and I usually try to do closer to 3 hours if I can.
4. I’ve over eaten At night/binged 19 times in the past 3 months.
5. I have not taken a day off exercise in 2 months.
6. Over exercising keeps me from food and helps me be less likely to binge, but when I’m on my period I over eat every night. (Over 949 calories net)
7. I’ve cut back from a net of 1200 to a net of 949 and eat about 2000 calories a day, but I have to burn of 1050 of them, and I will argue if something gets in my way.
8. I can’t lose weight lately probably because of the over eating. 
9. My boyfriend and best friend are worried I over exercise. 
10. I burned 1700 calories during my 4 hours of working out today (4 separate workouts) 
11. My BMI puts me in a healthy weight range
12. I will be late for class to work out or fight with my boyfriend who I am living with in order to do it
13. I counted calories even on Christmas 
14. I work the same muscles daily (my abs) 
15. I have to save 1400 Calories for 6 pm and I save 1000 for 7 pm
16. I keep binge foods away from me I.e. no snack foods and no peanut butter unless it’s the powdered peanut butter that is low fat and takes time to make 
17. I only eat foods I know the calories to, even in a binge, and if I don’t know the calories, or if I don’t want the calories, occasionally I’ve been known to chew and spit. ",0.7298195790177076,2.42524276712329,2.7201770798529914,94.58771967925159,81.3744292237443,5.460385343579464,21.641830938857325,6.345904618129536,0.15200728366187774,1564,48,369,13,41,525,208,438,0.087,0.833,0.08,0.5244,0,0,1,0,1,0,58.0,0,0,2,10,7,14,3,1,22,0,29,29,3,1,2,51,46,29,0,7,14,0,2,1,1,4,5,1,0,0,6,21,24,5,4,4,0,4,11,8,0,1,6,7,45,6,64,33,4,67,0,3,0,0,8,27,0,8,35,206,51,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127841758091414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649486850071462,0.053155699785833226,0.057719573241530577,0.08428042230448615,0.07634721302266939,0.0,0.0,0.07254630103392039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832915891313644,0.0,0.0,0.07016417079287868,0.0,0.0,0.07922747408132942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6366232215207305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697655424407876,0.0,0.05824390746156946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33436277202716164,0.0,0.0534086586682364,0.0,0.03611689022117392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633550742856292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20423352047985896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288952167818087,0.0,0.0,0.0759826463591081,0.05634911332299625,0.15596035913382408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033772788799859614,0.0,0.061041904629861185,0.0,0.0,0.07733732783780876,0.07546213721585147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046143941044620725,0.0,0.0,0.0753014151795912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553359568446802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331631162456681,0.0,0.0735191519205709,0.12974519565574874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257548799205748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599116193720156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453242579628554,0.0,0.0,0.0694934324592262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428561248375546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053218647124450534,0.0,0.0,0.0978592929678262,0.0,0.0,0.057794684822660015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051976175849612255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061899653776372,0.0,0.06552592033525577,0.0,0.0,0.04693384652309402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613549167338005,0.0,0.04077389567328273,0.0548711408182287,0.0,0.1683602554991714,0.0,0.06408299330655898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666375956063342,0.0,0.3019590818911128,0.07020354587497464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354984030127098
mentalhealth,NovemberStorm,2018/02/09,"How to climb out of the hole TL:DR I’m having a pretty bad breakdown and don’t know how to get out.
 So I have diagnosed ADD and Anxiety and I think there’s more up with me. I don’t like change and currently my world is being turned upside down. 
I finally found a job I’m comfortable in however all staff I’ve gotten to know are leaving to go to another location. My parents are renovating our hose which I know will knock me off kilter so I’ve decided to move out before they start. My thought being moving into a new space will be easier to acclimate too then having the space I’m living in be torn up for months but I have a small dog and limited budget which is making it extremely hard.
I’m in a really dark place. I can’t talk to my mom about it as she works 14 hour shifts 4 days a week and doesn’t need more on her plate and I can’t talk to my dad because he doesn’t think anything is wrong with me to begin with. I talk about it to my boyfriend but he doesn’t understand even though he tries.
edit: I am from BC Canada
I am not suicidal, but I did have bulimia (via laxatives) the last time I felt around this low and I don’t want to go back to that. 
 Please help, I don’t know what to do and feel so lost.
",1.3186080343858464,2.873077600760457,3.4064473466688727,91.00664242023475,79.07604562737644,7.463646883782443,20.560257893866755,8.321376580360154,0.8581504050256239,951,24,222,19,23,324,152,263,0.083,0.8340000000000001,0.083,0.0119,4,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,1,4,13,6,0,0,9,0,29,1,0,3,1,41,55,20,1,2,4,3,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,18,0,1,12,0,1,5,10,4,0,0,6,3,28,2,36,43,3,37,0,2,0,0,14,19,0,0,14,137,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052080469416506,0.10251701701983934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027852527709073,0.11929700202311125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304515050643992,0.11189246187717684,0.08169104005876232,0.0,0.11403234361966992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176444282611145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642513923214519,0.0,0.0,0.13601697595257056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851211130574074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775930661740741,0.0,0.12867028149046153,0.14680102348379231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693466652840004,0.0,0.0,0.07001451215316921,0.0,0.15232154703049205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200463260611051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982384496875809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197251308325994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298390163386614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945928004521769,0.10923575245302493,0.0,0.14189687205767176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654703469040068,0.0,0.11833297793325627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462873655746219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945248334724185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695048483822185,0.10696522574188262,0.28486210422762104,0.0,0.09936645896701088,0.0,0.12942735701958558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488018596315291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400115638946729,0.1471023556107305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633599347725406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585001461827567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485272146686104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658480869908858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231356463739088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717359479256854,0.13166380273770245,0.10638869470652547,0.07814210578905842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909837571192567,0.14576401959313273,0.0,0.13950877389117286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790423648510987,0.0,0.10749445953914848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756062274168653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651851733211274,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,worsemink,2018/02/09,"normal to feel withdrawl symptoms after one day of forgetting meds? I take Lexapro 30mg and Buspar 10mg in the mornings and I forgot today. All day I felt like I was in this sort of foggy headachey hell. It didn't help that I'm so stressed out due to situational stuff that I felt like I was going to throw up all day. But the brain symptoms and general fogginess felt like it was a chemical result, not situational. Is it normal to feel this sort of withdrawl after only forgetting meds for a day, or was I just having a shitty day? Thanks.",4.029166666666665,5.363620435185184,5.408333333333335,80.33250000000002,71.5,7.992592592592592,27.38888888888889,8.472884824447931,1.9247,429,15,83,7,8,144,64,108,0.126,0.779,0.094,-0.6741,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,1,5,0,7,3,1,1,2,24,17,6,0,2,4,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,9,5,7,4,14,8,2,15,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,12,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111783257397005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4653982516841718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595319424533326,0.0,0.4157326762657829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202495513649373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674004758203844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115341803808028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206318475180402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828216845772861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780041986882264,0.10976798339463606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244615438138741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653272901751917,0.0,0.165221083602568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000242060564297,0.10851672947741003,0.0,0.0,0.13287787456904282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680611269580956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashleephar,2018/02/09,"My mom has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and I don't know what to do anymore. So heres the story about my mom. She left my dad when I was 12 years old for another man. Before she announced that she was going to leave us, she would disappear for weeks at a time and we had no idea where she was. She has always had a very toxic influence on me ever since I can remember. My brother and I chose to live with my dad for obvious reasons. She was never around to take care of us. Still to this day, so many years later, she resents my brother and I for choosing my dad. My brother has completely cut all ties with her. However, I'm still holding on for some reason. We got in a big fight about two months ago, and we haven't talked since. There's so much more to this story, but its too long to tell. I really need some guidance on what my next step should be. Has anyone ever had a similar experience?",2.7753985507246344,4.347922119565219,4.328782608695653,85.87563768115943,75.08695652173913,7.732753623188407,24.22318840579711,8.447377352677275,1.4458779710144931,706,22,149,13,15,236,114,184,0.053,0.935,0.012,-0.4848,1,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,5,0,0,0,15,4,3,0,5,0,18,0,0,3,5,30,25,10,0,3,1,8,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,11,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,8,0,30,1,23,14,5,29,0,0,0,0,27,9,0,2,17,108,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882231001316584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153571378187016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055728493869338,0.0,0.0,0.13293606760208826,0.09372699050256852,0.0,0.0,0.11932797241083976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406194726297696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666724216558665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054304708626372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644757584015812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362654354481706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24250174387257384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311211853425577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618054541768672,0.0,0.1072075854232164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513198590202195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366731973276917,0.0,0.0,0.1419337095395075,0.1456396783914809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836369805317135,0.11862511299646387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359000250339991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139824606994733,0.10699299470890204,0.0,0.09853808818716488,0.09939225523774048,0.1033833372124478,0.0,0.1425577847188396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406570931282735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117042436378853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587230191966748,0.27564002279745003,0.0,0.0,0.15184622233129075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22176589512235045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140961289930404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007847383125803,0.10773984492919796,0.11716075051550626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816239206007253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309419423696008,0.0,0.3224779184270482,0.0,0.0,0.11060070288144744,0.0,0.0,0.10752236589919224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522132564101214,0.0,0.0,0.17264045159709324
mentalhealth,introvertforeverr,2018/02/09,"Sleeping hell. please help. help please 😩 is anybody online? coming off some medication and i’m having horrific side effects.  attempting to sleep is hell, i feel like i’m in a horror movie.   every single time i attempt to sleep (this has been going on for several days), I can feel my body switching off and I can see my body lay on the bed. then i begin floating up OUT OF MY BODY and around the room. I try and “get back down” to my body which makes me suddenly wake up.   I cannot get past this stage and it’s truly terrifying.   I haven’t slept for days. 😭 ",0.17710526315789465,2.536095833333338,2.175754385964911,92.99994736842106,90.66666666666666,5.145263157894737,18.12631578947369,6.742157984588678,0.11177263157894757,431,12,93,6,15,143,76,114,0.17,0.705,0.125,-0.8625,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,2,3,2,0,3,0,9,10,9,2,0,13,21,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,3,13,1,16,19,2,23,2,0,1,0,2,12,2,1,9,54,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830301272721467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082427079218826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6403675588518836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415209322141485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589915171053573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143267041019068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574923144566934,0.10296389698275604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060014403610106,0.0,0.08191032907723927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932097157311844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041285706788017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620546128358448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451921400448083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758491431559908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316414915447254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485004502582745,0.0,0.0,0.162821757487561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326913247165319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404123677510875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785233450695023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jumble_uk,2018/02/09,"What psychological coping mechanisms do people not realize makes things worse? Other than drugs, addictions, and other external-object-based coping mechanisms.

So just psychological coping mechanisms.",12.551111111111116,17.715232259259263,11.520000000000005,28.500000000000032,59.74074074074074,15.451851851851854,38.62962962962963,12.45797560212912,8.752762962962962,169,8,12,8,3,54,21,27,0.114,0.8859999999999999,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905111611952726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5217983483215536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30034465728711623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31193819656025107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989263272342864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45853678552958793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sky12121212,2018/02/10,"My gf going to a mental facility I’ve been with the most beautiful woman in the world for half a year this Valentine’s Day. We’ve done lots of things in this short time we’ve spent together, and I was planning on proposing to her on Valentine’s Day. Sadly that won’t happen though, last night we went to a small gathering of friends played cards and watched a movie. I smoked a little weed and she drunk some white rum I wanted her to stop but she said she was fine, and to my stupidity I forgot she had taken her percasets and anti depressants she was prescribed after she miscarried our baby a few weeks ago. So this all together made her black out and she went rampant when we got to our house and said she hated herself and at one point escaped to the kitchen and cut her arm. So me and her grandma who she lives with called an EMT and they brought her to the mental health section of the hospital, now that she is sobered up she barely remembers it and told me she never really has suicidal thoughts, just mild depression like lots of people have. Ifeel like a piece of shit for letting her do this already and now they’re taking her to a facility and she’ll remain there through Valentine’s Day. I’ve been at the hospital all morning and can see her for 10 minutes every hour but once she is at the facility I cannot see her for god knows how long. She told me she’s gonna miss me and started balling which caused me to cry too. I love this girl and the thought of not being able to text her or talk to her that long kills me and I just seem helpless.

Edit: sorry I’m new to this so sorry for any bad grammar I’m typing this while at the hospital",3.6404733727810665,4.869143378698227,4.345521893491124,87.9879396449704,72.31360946745562,7.419834319526628,26.53775147928994,7.839951260653429,1.3673191479289946,1314,44,277,17,25,420,186,338,0.153,0.769,0.078,-0.981,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,4,0,1,1,12,17,5,0,18,0,18,6,2,3,3,47,47,28,2,1,6,0,0,2,2,3,1,2,1,2,14,23,2,2,5,4,1,4,4,11,0,2,21,7,50,6,38,21,9,41,0,5,5,1,48,16,1,6,23,184,64,2,0.11399843197867005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010527316772982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580010443905035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752284291829803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518392898450463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640514483901306,0.0,0.0,0.11710779195541457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252219245745936,0.22055867331380208,0.0,0.1963733648393796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665997532438024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604859565408452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880749057613832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478793598837405,0.0,0.09117496000829237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080843691313476,0.0,0.0,0.11254985041066687,0.0,0.1211750023863191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226549226356668,0.1315388847809255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612237471152632,0.0,0.06265055689892253,0.09292393723064976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657112032826035,0.0,0.11138775116311883,0.11425637730527928,0.100662703985258,0.2017700499593487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19383478049151928,0.10288803565669248,0.10786807270498944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297672134342923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792261852235955,0.11010039597419206,0.0,0.10697980594641317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140460955094652,0.07724828781135548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903215899280625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776536576940153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303031462221693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913800076563972,0.0,0.216877228379927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168398172051334,0.10377989099170512,0.0,0.0,0.1170177522246182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552238228220593,0.08068867690121198,0.0,0.0,0.09530779364605056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469578189044382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571263356805144,0.09162762144059987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573549274063526,0.0,0.11200288061739,0.18100404248528928,0.06647340243786806,0.0,0.0,0.21786077410219254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723922877854648,0.0,0.09144266585387402,0.0,0.0,0.21135537709128932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341125260885609
mentalhealth,Heavyfnmusic,2018/02/10,"No idea what I'm doing I can't figure out what I'm doing. I'm at college and I hate my major, my class and have no friends. I want to play music and work but I keep going through school miserable. I don't have any money and I can't support myself if I don't go to school and I just feel like a complete failure. I have depression and just started getting medicated at the end of December. Nothing in my future seems worth it. I just want to know what the hell I'm going to do. I don't know sorry for the ramble. But I guess I wonder what I should do. Everyone in my life makes me feel like i need to go through college but I don't know the answers and I just don't know. Anyone else feel like this? Anyone been at a simialr place in life and got out? How did you do it? ",-0.7400366300366272,1.328296698224854,1.8621808960270485,96.04536489151876,90.89349112426036,4.402479571710341,18.698506621583547,5.916634753146586,-0.2650593970132431,598,18,139,5,21,205,81,169,0.171,0.7140000000000001,0.116,-0.9371,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,5,10,2,1,6,0,18,3,0,2,0,38,46,13,0,5,8,0,3,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,12,1,2,4,9,4,0,0,3,3,24,6,17,42,1,16,1,2,0,0,2,9,1,4,6,91,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656540751959168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985805099627502,0.14549659159559875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888512803227286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230507349745462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186234400133532,0.0,0.12577055305126786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568784142684148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539960022977234,0.3043361810995553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970945913401396,0.0,0.0741895526038379,0.0,0.3228092884913469,0.0,0.11357100484643215,0.0,0.15642988096169147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019638292457162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030160901679213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621682787709765,0.0,0.0,0.3121596850956477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005987167585657,0.20812324172167213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478663086755128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305085802488954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529178748632416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362535890644616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836060361293624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28742476377448806,0.0,0.12927218725085451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895826011885705,0.10050889097803044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114081521672732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751149168113985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399380085008493,0.10337826731011378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mncollins,2018/02/10,"Mental Health Survey I am a US college student in need of many survey responses for my English class! Please take the time to answer this quick, 20 question survey!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1jMfiJyxH6e09L_fZ0CP4qwcB-6KN4TiDWjsKznQhUSQ/edit
",16.09892473118279,21.73617738709678,9.37548387096774,46.24989247311828,49.322580645161295,6.713978494623658,29.68817204301075,7.793537801064563,2.50176559139785,213,6,20,2,3,55,29,31,0.0,0.907,0.093,0.4374,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,12,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36383646583361867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470266205646724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34494610791858343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25380244364800797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757297755047975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834412419015879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25735820970128337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959106530754525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117306903014612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aaron367,2018/02/10,"Too sad to hang out with my friends and I’ve been blowing them off a lot lately. My life has been pretty chaotic lately, and I’m not gonna get into all of it, but sometimes I just want to stay home and lay down. I get sad, and sometimes there’s not a reason for it. When I get like this, which is pretty often, I don’t want to do anything. I just want to be home. This means blowing off my friends when they want to hangout, and I’ve done it a few times. Not too often, though. 

But, I feel bad. What should I do? ",0.5708928571428586,2.0319557321428583,2.1583571428571453,99.53664285714287,80.96428571428572,4.48,19.23571428571429,3.1291,-0.7921814285714288,390,9,97,0,10,127,64,112,0.111,0.705,0.184,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,1,1,27,21,10,0,5,7,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,2,0,7,8,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,1,12,3,13,15,3,12,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,3,6,68,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639553863654552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839170018604813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961657814557826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380658972812792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561112171368353,0.0,0.259787671448586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33251521830203784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739393424105682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707190499035836,0.08097554087031837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409120484602908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805469148136546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372482760202757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704153714385577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327855754305666,0.0,0.0,0.1766640934860063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284544292029515,0.0,0.09664832371046124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910471563482763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LisaArouet,2018/02/10,"Relevant Music to Explain Emotions? I’m currently awaiting evaluation for bipolar disorder and I sent my mother the song Evelyn Evelyn by Amanda Palmer to better explain my emotions to her. (https://youtu.be/zkXC5BF-nGo)

Does anyone else express their emotions via music?",8.0639837398374,12.423647146341462,7.221341463414634,55.46014227642278,77.53658536585365,7.611382113821138,38.540650406504064,8.344100000000001,5.14460650406504,227,13,20,5,6,70,32,41,0.063,0.861,0.076,0.1431,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220981458677725,0.25235045540356515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21782111259544046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822665961811224,0.0,0.2155276858953764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574144576602368,0.8311202278324712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AuschwitzSurvivor,2018/02/10,"Hello. I've been cutting myself since i was 14 up until 26.. I got arrested and cutting in jail kinda makes shit worse, but since I got out I've really been wanting to cut more. I'm not depressed, and I don't want to kill myself. I just like it. Is this normal? Should i just keep cutting or should I be in a psych ward or something",0.05637323943662054,2.14882229577465,2.3304049295774694,94.16208626760564,86.60563380281691,4.676760563380283,18.734154929577464,5.985473137389443,-0.1925084507042252,257,7,57,2,8,87,49,71,0.192,0.643,0.165,0.6051,0,0,1,0,0,2,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,1,0,8,1,1,1,0,17,15,6,1,5,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,0,9,1,7,7,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,3,2,36,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22870381387602565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42474316414440794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23601858112146806,0.2937737318420989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972636859848938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772458276992013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601666787495329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010770779762804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725665595928434,0.4393044933422497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442083933584146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132373491957889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27060155760995896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pyhimys,2018/02/10,"Can't talk I just can't talk to people. I can't think of anything to say.

When I'm in a situation where casual chit-chat (or deeper conversation) is expected, I get very nervous and my mind just goes blank. I can do things like ordering food and official phone calls, although those make me very anxious as well, because there's a clear pattern to follow. But I'm absolutely terrible with free conversation about things like hobbies, interests etc.

I'm so quiet it's honestly really embarrassing. I want to talk so badly! But I'm so stuck in my own head, worrying about what I should or shouldn't say and what the other person is thinking that most often I can't manage to say anything. I can answer questions when asked, but those answers are usually short. To give you an example, the other day I hung out with someone for a couple hours, and I said two things unprompted. Two.

This is really putting a damper on my relationships. How am I supposed to connect with people when I barely say a word? I am this way with everyone, even family members I am close with. I desperately want to improve on this but I don't know how. What could even be causing this? I feel like there's something wrong with my brain, this isn't normal.

To top it all off, the mental health professionals I've told about this issue don't believe me because I can talk to them. Well of course I can, I've been to therapy for years and I know how it works, I tell you about my problems and you give me advice. There's a distinct pattern there. It's not like that with people in the real world. You don't complain to them about your deepest fears and mental health problems, you have to say things that are fun and interesting and topical. I don't know how to get them to understand how much I struggle with talking. If they saw me outside their office they wouldn't think I'm the same person.",4.340005032206122,5.691594834239132,5.213055555555556,81.96342592592595,70.7663043478261,8.386634460547503,28.03180354267311,8.841846274778883,2.123520813204509,1481,53,289,27,27,483,178,368,0.101,0.784,0.115,0.4752,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,6,6,2,28,22,0,4,12,0,29,5,2,7,3,66,55,29,0,11,10,0,1,4,0,3,2,7,0,2,24,19,1,0,11,1,1,2,12,10,2,2,5,9,44,13,40,45,6,23,0,0,1,0,37,12,0,6,11,198,68,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439269661323576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756534478691173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213839769324846,0.0,0.08073752924456577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210930326286627,0.10529188262784657,0.0,0.0,0.09730126451503883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640941011199568,0.08818604127930821,0.0,0.0,0.08871835166556707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895364223179609,0.0955587592952524,0.0,0.055696840250660164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631731442932093,0.11408358649912073,0.0,0.0,0.08252332508450702,0.0,0.0,0.08141513085613597,0.09718212341361948,0.043667610022912605,0.06169757816607594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443020094339088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024196277308508,0.16569407157759686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863311483817472,0.18359916612343452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504992926806353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901402912380438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238815486637404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687699428691917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764781774471319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406671325885634,0.0,0.08720177564602011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348657094229916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461717533488664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961920613486398,0.15081727435814948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527500938758216,0.0,0.08681843462373763,0.09674606434674853,0.0,0.0,0.0982997363250605,0.11065240026671476,0.0,0.0,0.09272129164293937,0.0,0.0,0.08215076851158341,0.34339569424960537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970753688259855,0.0,0.0,0.07317489241723482,0.06648627751764555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028511567717244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470756046848485,0.07548486515313332,0.0,0.09876335091868914,0.0,0.22950234024006866,0.16601332219818235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252332508450702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687277491680203,0.08990668643426444,0.0,0.0,0.09511638686533036,0.14251665521283727,0.10187799539022543,0.06855074477221086,0.0,0.0,0.15530099898449953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287312311991705,0.08770558227178,0.0,0.0,0.09442412851300314,0.0,0.055614790582354086
mentalhealth,amethyystprincess,2018/02/10,"How do I make myself enjoy work? I have a simple job and I only work part time (maybe three days a week). I’ve never liked any job I’ve had and I just started this one a few weeks ago, but I already dread going into work. Every day that I have to work, and sometimes the night before, I get really depressed and it ruins the whole day for me. I can’t bring myself to enjoy the hours leading up to work because I’m stressed out about having to work. I’ve already called in once because of how anxious and stressed out the idea of going to work made me, even though I wasn’t sick. How do I get past this? I don’t want to be miserable for my whole life but I need to stick with a job. ",2.169369202226349,3.1046466666666674,3.5891651205936945,93.13213358070502,75.53061224489797,5.889672232529375,21.526901669758807,5.565023196281405,-0.03243673469387787,528,12,122,2,11,174,84,147,0.212,0.737,0.052000000000000005,-0.9785,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,8,7,9,0,4,8,0,10,2,0,6,1,22,21,11,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,4,4,6,0,2,3,0,17,3,18,17,4,21,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,13,77,21,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821441406269084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24453339046711425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534542082453315,0.0,0.0,0.1251685104400358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508103864890575,0.0,0.09427966276738396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313561646958135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436373372998047,0.0,0.09542886493562992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318004471228763,0.0,0.09335083166118363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157731988152364,0.0,0.1259364109373952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091122363454406,0.0,0.0,0.12507576471180468,0.0,0.0,0.3298452965594189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825884609853181,0.05412957439479196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483832926579156,0.07395752552285748,0.0,0.11130997845487603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215420243439528,0.08545309283282812,0.0,0.0,0.1039750116911264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799465876521835,0.07507857728147689,0.08426573255390732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998181476995455,0.10576779817168562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709790763731165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095805736689697,0.0,0.07842233447635379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538340377025768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885700080131254,0.0,0.06460633139574333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653506475965532,0.0,0.17774854173855587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474006757210596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.564628211930646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xforeverlove21,2018/02/10,"Whats wrong with me? So I met this guy and he wanted to hook up at a hotel. I could not bring myself to just do it so i drank a lot of alcohol before i met him. Anyways the sex didn't work out and he wanted to leave. I felt so bad that I couldn't please him (the last hook up I had was the same situation). And he was ready to leave than i got all desperate and started crying, begging him to stay and try again and kept crying. Than he gave me a ride back and I kept clinging onto his arm as we walked, I went very clingy. I sent him lengthy apologies and he ended up blocking me every social media platform and told me to NEVER speak to him again. I drank one cup full of rum btw and was very drunk through out. Anyways, whats wrong with me?
",1.5915336538461524,2.852445893750005,3.075,94.93769230769232,77.5625,5.6730769230769225,20.43269230769231,5.873414542411696,-0.18002884615384618,573,13,136,3,13,188,93,160,0.17800000000000002,0.8059999999999999,0.016,-0.972,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,6,0,8,6,1,0,2,29,24,14,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,15,4,3,1,3,0,5,4,3,0,1,17,2,25,0,22,5,4,22,0,0,0,1,21,9,0,1,7,92,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717094258882018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274764142135548,0.13842135944804074,0.0,0.0,0.14106859175381556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236373761406467,0.0,0.3642083115761495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683397855587968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396788021397807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917707936413447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325913108086044,0.0,0.0,0.1641506167718977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351347633362026,0.0,0.3510791987615388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409422478678968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786158873603298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233842863979768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18197926562736386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18634633693281846,0.0,0.1689942551367581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173416191986332,0.17670195505303926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841216497029306,0.0,0.1125553512439674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735756451096861,0.1955654815904775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368192370159614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069154438058045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625140069879762,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tmckeown2,2018/02/10,"I don't know what to do any more. I have lived with Asperger's for my entire life and the past 4 years I have been struggling depressive thoughts and its getting worse. I am in university studying Software Engineering and I am getting good grades, predicted at 1st to high class 1st, but my attendance is awful. The university I go to checks attendance to lectures and tutorials but I feel trapped inside these lecture halls with 100+ people in them and it wears me down so much that I can't get out of bed.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I got an email from the head of the school asking to talk to me about attendance and I don't know if I'm going to get kicked out and I'm getting scared.",3.3830069930069904,4.784769958041963,4.498181818181816,85.96727272727274,73.1958041958042,7.997202797202798,27.685314685314694,8.575989854853784,1.8581104895104903,556,21,118,10,11,182,88,143,0.134,0.852,0.014,-0.9455,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,2,5,1,12,3,2,0,0,20,28,11,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,11,0,0,5,0,1,5,4,3,0,0,3,1,16,1,21,25,2,15,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,1,2,74,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154557294398414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184012137128564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808399295443428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666092587442828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780888260764888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5053210800021578,0.0,0.21987238441270374,0.16224797312927872,0.15471133282709826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852485445868392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437957602080487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318928063998406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663212223528298,0.0,0.0,0.1708107258629178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220037600407556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846600026552347,0.1341066741665489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19366680251475668,0.1957712197369092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222508801954248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547943684935772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356944854949708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971314958170433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456877123488673
mentalhealth,LoadTheClipOmnicolor,2018/02/10,"I read that psychopaths sometimes love their children because they view them as extensions of themselves. Do people that have to deal with self-hate hate their children? I am always filled with self-loathe, especially at my physical appearance, and I can't help but think if I had a child then I would hate that child too because it's my DNA. But the thing is I don't think that negatively of my parents, even though I'm their offspring. But I also am nothing like them, in behavior or physical appearance.",6.6652982456140375,7.52104523157895,6.235526315789473,78.55785087719302,65.10526315789474,9.701754385964913,34.780701754385966,9.725611199111238,3.312122807017545,407,18,74,8,6,126,64,95,0.13,0.8420000000000001,0.029,-0.8440000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,6,0,4,4,2,0,2,0,9,1,0,0,0,13,17,10,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,0,2,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,1,16,2,8,15,0,6,0,0,1,1,14,2,0,4,2,53,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695790513984255,0.17644544104794693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585316054997602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186177751469852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005929062468914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4187177212348841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213494426824672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035985946900893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19138649973905605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20347098524589133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354602392393143,0.0,0.0,0.1470111483800097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211081472003152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424359493542354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20972626451190654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408788764323157,0.27175055126800485,0.208341418370342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063667259759436,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mintyhippo9281,2018/02/10,"Can't get more comfortable with people, no matter how long I've known them Does anyone else have this problem or a similar problem?

I have a really hard time getting comfortable or becoming close with other people. Somehow I've had a boyfriend for 5 years, and we're really close, but he's pretty much the only person I've ever been able to maintain closeness with. I am fairly close with my family, but have been becoming less comfortable with them over time. I have some sort-of-friends, but none that I could say I feel comfortable with at all. 

It seems like most people usually become more comfortable with other people over time, but that just doesn't happen for me. I either stay at a minimal comfort level with people or I start to feel uncomfortable spending time with them. There's nobody other than my boyfriend that I would feel comfortable spending one-on-one time with. I've never liked one-on-one interactions. I feel more comfortable with people in group settings, but I still get just as anxious for that. ",7.546739647786765,7.83090957591623,7.244645406949072,74.04860542598763,63.18848167539266,10.505663969538316,32.02332222751071,10.230975488527342,3.2378335078534017,823,28,141,17,11,260,103,191,0.202,0.737,0.061,-0.9762,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,0,7,12,0,0,5,0,12,0,0,1,3,45,22,11,0,4,11,0,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,9,16,0,0,6,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,3,6,16,10,23,17,10,24,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,7,14,93,25,0,0.11835323767689378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370547066514105,0.0,0.08275533563352687,0.12126687833852925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921355574174753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449542979439997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357171585944402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886894332329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705727932948228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157289931336364,0.0,0.2393718123453442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143941784126827,0.0,0.18550404550930408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465937721010732,0.0,0.10602125401348424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564282735195833,0.0,0.0,0.10473889098485882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700324759057992,0.0,0.09128131314208524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603984337114584,0.090012970454423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923073976566874,0.10334148204227536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040779147439422,0.0,0.22649612900580576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164022932734392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941192449517908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774434254430436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377103078847667,0.1261488039642169,0.094517048491877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450636233046104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034937048162498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840747443253859,0.0,0.0,0.07621560470059895
mentalhealth,acutelyabnormal,2018/02/10,"[Chicago] I just was released from a psychiatric ward and have no supports or people to talk to. Ask me whatever you'd like I love to help others I suffer from medication resistant depression, severe anxiety, PTSD, and OCD tendencies, I'm also a recovering addict and alcoholic.  I was in the hospital for suicidal ideation and planning. I have no job or idea what to do with my life, and like the title says I have no friends, supports or people to talk to but I really enjoy helping others. ",7.736304347826088,7.5166469782608765,8.772956521739129,64.93726086956524,62.91304347826088,12.577391304347826,39.052173913043475,11.979248473330829,5.1291973913043485,390,19,64,12,5,134,61,92,0.152,0.635,0.213,0.7996,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,0,0,12,12,10,1,0,5,0,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,10,7,11,9,0,1,0,2,0,1,9,1,0,3,2,48,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733014870904648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20325034400724912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209118854468567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454913036255537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777976675309743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380639866669733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693676138290399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25495451742680303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146961570982105,0.0,0.0,0.1887296545721703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343335661789426,0.18582995090537627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164974079451933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915917730078945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637012072193065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22231654468945236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183763150920195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124305647950922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485535781534684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080319495172746,0.4316402560261278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057276265313609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jackfille1,2018/02/10,"What's happening to me? Yestarday I was watching some youtube videos when I got a call from a friend. Nothing special, she just had a question about her phone, as I'm often quite good with phones. I then went upstairs to say goodnight to my mom. When I went downstairs to my room after that, I got a sudden energy boost for no reason and I started doing physical activities in my room for about an hour. After that I got really sad and started crying for no reason, this also went on for about an hour. I then went to bed and today I've been tired all the time and been a little sad. I have no idea what it is.",3.4878044444444427,4.5064232560000015,4.64746666666667,86.48017777777778,72.44,7.1555555555555586,25.08888888888889,7.3871296695380915,1.0840222222222216,477,14,99,5,9,157,78,125,0.168,0.745,0.087,-0.8574,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,8,0,7,1,0,2,1,13,18,10,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,6,5,0,0,4,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,11,2,15,3,19,7,2,22,0,2,1,0,9,5,0,3,13,71,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901490976641428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196646797563226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16347673994160344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149814500411866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248269410862223,0.3570856767398492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131605025886271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931243349842397,0.0,0.0,0.16800476088548694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916126024143947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743014716429363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428011346296988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671751533502954,0.15829318939746045,0.0,0.0,0.0953407942890849,0.30603277336101625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835122660256472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106775134597759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867807707019837,0.17105188542621375,0.14106823731021384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518472605079648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bleuonej,2018/02/10,"Bad night. I keep hitting myself in the head with my fist and calling myself a piece of shit. 

I'm not even sure why I started doing this tonight. I didn't feel anything when I started but now I want to keep going until I hurt myself. 

I don't want to die because the people who have hurt me would never know it was their fault. 

I'm ignored most of the time. 

I'm on antidepressant and have panic attacks and need to be on something stronger but it's hard to get help when you're agoraphobic and on Medicare. 

Nobody will ever want to deal with all my problems. I'm not enough or good enough. 

My head hurts. ",2.22517818181818,4.033026776,3.2850181818181845,91.7505090909091,77.24000000000002,5.1854545454545455,23.363636363636363,5.565023196281405,0.24883999999999995,477,15,101,2,11,153,82,125,0.287,0.608,0.105,-0.9816,0,0,1,0,0,3,10.0,0,0,1,0,5,12,2,1,4,0,9,3,3,0,4,27,26,10,1,6,5,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,2,2,15,2,14,20,5,16,0,3,0,0,5,4,1,2,11,66,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045709514577035,0.0,0.0,0.1665267612136151,0.0,0.0,0.12221999607419072,0.08923102081924092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946889140871514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090988359343835,0.0,0.0,0.15191785088506202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30249639533032185,0.0,0.096681668405694,0.13240780162096047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401340581691715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647676400122325,0.0,0.08319031759492784,0.12277540401274845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112645171767384,0.0,0.3004532967979316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981144734441634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701038767503775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602160066952734,0.0,0.0,0.08044583681220717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085378587718024,0.1128961811650444,0.0,0.0,0.13736637689033454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717437189984958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148047327829968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006452763019805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025550394995488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268937861695814,0.0,0.0,0.2072150178987297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796007482857428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535452435796105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590136286142401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208389640800589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398314003205764,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nowhere_Man18,2018/02/10,"Am I beyond repair? Has my difficult family upbringing permanently broken me? (Please, I could really use some help) TL;DR - My tough family upbringing has made me a very emotionally repressed, damaged, private, almost reclusive person who has difficulty forming meaningful relationships. It has resulted in depression, anxiety and a broken self-esteem. How do I move on and heal from this?

Hello. This is my first time posting on here. This is not the account I normally use for reddit, I think it would be a good idea to have a separate account for my mental health.

I am a sufferer of depression, anxiety and show some symptoms of OCD. Recently, I've been thinking what has been the root of my problems and I think I have found the answer: I've realised I have come from a fairly dysfunctional family. I do not have it as bad as others, but I've been beaten by my dad before with a belt (hasn't happened for years though, probably because he is older and I'll be able to defend myself), as well as seen my siblings get hurt by him as well (again, it has not happened in years). My dad is /was also verbally and emotionally abusive; I remember him calling me a d***head when I was twelve (I am seventeen now) and the toll that took on my self-esteem, and he is constantly accusing my sister of being dumb (something that still goes on today). 

The worst part was, almost two years ago, my dad forced my sister and I to attend a Christian born-again service, because my older brother revealed to my dad that he was gay. It was the worst period of my life, being forced to believe in something I didn't want to (I am a non-believer). Though my dad and brother have reconciled since then and my dad no longer forces us to attend those services, I still remember how hopeless and suicidal I felt during that time, and I think that experience largely contributes to my depression and anxiety today.

I also feel my parents show favouritism over my brother than my sister and I. Even after his revelation, I feel like they love him more, as they talk to him more (even when he is living overseas now) than me. Also, when my brother was my age, my dad talked to him like an adult, however, for me he still talks to me like I am eight... and I'm almost legally an adult. I always find myself trying to seek my dad's approval and respect, and I hate that about myself.

Now all this dysfunction (if that is what it is) has had a serious toll on me. I feel guilty a lot of the time, as well as depressed, worried, lonely... I have trouble opening up to others too because I am afraid of getting hurt. I actually go to a psychologist currently, but we mainly talk about coping mechanisms for depression, anxiety and OCD. I have yet to open up about these thoughts about my family because they are not only recent revelations, but also because I', afraid she will tell my mother, who accompanies to her office.

I'm worried that I will never fully heal from these scars, and that I will be a miserable person when I grow older, like my dad. I'm afraid that I have kids, I will be cruel to them too, and I will just repeat the cycle. I'm afraid that I will never be able to fully open myself to anyone and have an intimate relationship.

How do I recover from this upbringing, now that I am close to becoming an adult? Should I tell my psychologist what I am feeling? Should I cut my family from my life as an adult (that thought is very tempting,  but how do I do it)?

To anyone who read the whole thing, I appreciate that immensely. If you want a summarised version, there is a one at the top of the post.
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mentalhealth,UpstairsMethod,2018/02/10,"Is this a symptom for something? Hello, I don't know if this is the right subreddit for this. But someone very close to me has become very different. Thinking back to it, I think it happened after their divorce. 

She used to be very cheerful, intelligent, and sweet. She put up with her cheating, lying, good for nothing husband for years. He even threatened to send her, and her children back to her country, if she didn't leave him alone (Going out and sleeping with other women). She stayed with him because of that. 

I never knew this when it was happening, because she faked it so well. Due to the years of stress this man has out her through, she began to become more outgoing. She started going out a bit more to cool off. She never cheated or anything like that. 

During this time, she began claiming that someone was watching her.

She kept saying ""they"" were sending her messages through the TV, radio, movies. She said the celebrities were toying with her, telling her that if she didn't listen, bad things would happen. 

She claimed she even had bomb threats sent to her via television. 

I, of course didn't believe her. I believed she was going crazy. Until things started happening. 

She asked her Supervisor for some time off, to finish the divorce, and get settled. But the supervisor refused, and put her on a private medical leave. She was out of work, and still stressed from the divorce. 

When she reapplied through the company, they bounced her calls and started ignoring her.

She kept things to herself, and never told anyone her plans. But whenever I accompanied her somewhere (Walmart, Food lion, bank, etc), I noticed people glancing at her, and hearing things about her. 

I'm not sure if it's paranoia on my part, or if what she's saying is actually true. 

There were times when I knew she was going out to do something, like buy milk, or shampoo. I don't know how I knew these things, I might be heard it from somewhere. 

And I also noticed that whenever she talks to people, they slip up and mention something they should most definitely NOT know. And they try to cover it up, and blame her of misunderstanding, because of a language barrier. Even though she can speak English very fluently. 

Am I going crazy? Or is there something really fishy going on? Are these symptoms for anything?",5.1003213636998765,7.2006249738717365,4.8790226351823405,82.13674549392206,70.04513064133016,6.948190582646363,31.859787620511387,7.618777277803332,2.255614447394159,1818,82,313,21,34,558,204,421,0.095,0.813,0.092,-0.3307,1,1,4,0,3,0,74.0,0,0,6,2,17,17,3,2,12,1,29,6,1,2,5,62,64,33,0,7,14,1,0,2,0,3,3,7,0,3,27,23,2,5,8,3,2,11,10,8,1,0,23,11,67,9,52,36,7,51,0,0,2,0,79,16,0,12,25,239,94,1,0.0,0.0,0.07772461339081542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249094100126789,0.0,0.0636941938990117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055691486130726685,0.0,0.13108645282471312,0.0,0.0744597975653442,0.0,0.0,0.12248824716088234,0.06650245770175618,0.14565739760245008,0.17592913528452153,0.0,0.17947124531630235,0.0,0.0,0.0869546011028696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132915192210118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321483815310926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882817942967403,0.15781955744251455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631024995078698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041612607809865,0.0,0.27159355693453296,0.06680466678478325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817286020158833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976868589437158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313167901749569,0.0,0.0,0.16867071425035154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782363356134374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023662420019052,0.0,0.08449356601667887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18428752463862036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642406464832413,0.1813587462244708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625063924001919,0.0,0.11043529861754676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013576653904554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510243216572891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801865467682411,0.0757631506740921,0.12667801017880387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970516678852503,0.0,0.1349703843363494,0.2452665971405308,0.0,0.0,0.1691250417969321,0.0848937934043581,0.0636067131491405,0.0,0.18247221926672208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506696396266536,0.16556880190451465,0.0,0.06401776102516214,0.06961555340050139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645717851868506,0.10206999132198427,0.07825340800909145,0.0,0.13932954904506387,0.0,0.0,0.07610673917947601,0.0,0.05407552356844158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687899936191733,0.0,0.26287059800141377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161279924143753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798443504047514,0.0,0.0,0.056579402665665586,0.0,0.0,0.10258094561841748
mentalhealth,CassieCounselor,2018/02/10,What makes a therapist effective? What traits or characteristics are important for a therapist to have? What are some of the best and worst experiences you've had in therapy? Are you able to be honest with your therapist?,5.183461538461536,8.302377025641029,6.0637820512820495,68.95413461538462,73.61538461538461,12.105128205128207,30.262820512820515,11.20814326018867,4.8695589743589744,180,8,30,8,4,59,30,39,0.085,0.64,0.276,0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,2,0,3,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,2,0,6,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,6,5,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,25,5,0,0.24293294471748744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25494313770936605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23763503511102915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621596270041541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778149941005141,0.8461916186162437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperFly456,2018/02/10,"I very rarely feel fully ""present."" The best way I can describe it is feeling like I'm in a fog, like I'm operating at maybe 75% of where my mind should be. 

In conversations its like I'm only partially there. When asked thought provoking or personal questions, I can give the proper response, but they rarely have any emotion or passion to back them up. It almost feels like I'm reciting from a textbook instead of speaking from the heart.

During my 8 hours of work every day, I can barely remember what actually occupied my mind. Its all one big blur that comes and goes. Most of the time it seems like I'm on autopilot all day.

I've recently realized that even though I've lived in the same house for 20 years, I couldn't tell you the most basic details in the neighborhood like street names and buildings that I have passed by almost every day. And here is where I have made progress. I have tried to be a bit more conscience and actually memorize my environment, like make note of the color of certain buildings, how many plants or windows do they have out front and things like that. I don't know how useful that is though.

I don't often get very angry, but on the flip side, rarely am I ever actually happy. The most positive I would say I am is just content.

I have got a lot of things that I would like to accomplish in life, that I have a purpose to fulfill, but I am finding it incredibly hard to make it my own. I spend a lot of time with people who are actually pursuing their dreams. You can actually see and hear their passion when they talk about it. That's not something I really feel though.

I get there is a lack of motivation and that I am complacent. But if I am unable to actually break through the ""fog"" and have some sort of burning desire tied to my goals, I don't see how I can actually pursue them.

Very rarely I'll break out of this funk. I'll be extremely passionate about life, and want to change a lot of stuff that I need to do better. It always happens quite abruptly, like right now, and usually happens at terrible times like 3 in the morning, but it barely lasts for more than 15 minutes. In those 15 minutes though, I would say I actually feel alive inside, and that is the state that I am trying to get to.

As I was typing this, I realize I very well might just be psyching myself out and creating a placebo effect. But this is something that I have been struggling with for a few years now, and I want to break away from it.

Any answers will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.",5.6101948924731175,5.846065006048392,6.178967741935482,80.21011827956994,67.28629032258064,9.435913978494623,31.25107526881721,9.2995712137729,2.5397765591397854,1977,73,398,35,30,644,235,496,0.045,0.7509999999999999,0.204,0.9978,0,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,2,7,9,26,23,0,1,23,0,47,6,1,10,4,88,80,33,0,11,13,0,6,11,0,6,2,4,1,1,33,19,0,0,17,1,1,3,5,2,1,1,5,13,49,21,54,63,17,50,0,0,3,3,22,22,0,19,31,271,82,7,0.0,0.0,0.5214151787586355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376003169221673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557419721066534,0.0,0.0,0.09083827253012464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062439147272834124,0.0,0.06275091442208885,0.051356986949621215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009143799166598,0.05906986689329816,0.07291681312385961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065441318061756,0.057533222513112124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922106646989912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512917464766053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411382120236953,0.06041490783956995,0.1125460339136002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885383778677165,0.09542883478188928,0.0,0.0,0.06104437413007556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468423897473043,0.06407055451331782,0.0,0.0,0.05341764796916136,0.07363563676807297,0.0,0.0,0.11812343202250886,0.07109864271061897,0.05983025470456125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527659733601297,0.07914585460546264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657741834410938,0.07706609183973863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03670575115354237,0.05444233994118385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435076892525356,0.3589296253644396,0.0,0.058976333903731415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034608078030294,0.0,0.06319782026055147,0.08916499218637954,0.06771404903495105,0.06709900912063145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085308293367984,0.13487666920104482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04952355264967004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525827973110322,0.050796408692895895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630341539976052,0.05831799717582856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481950235949665,0.0710388325654652,0.0,0.0,0.04278705071229946,0.0,0.06594655331272235,0.0,0.0756594602697148,0.057037850431156174,0.0,0.1062273494209083,0.0,0.0,0.10644513555365694,0.060802633560449564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283560848070436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982286536457602,0.07645797460982855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368285355891998,0.058376948815085886,0.06149077913352913,0.0,0.0,0.08874392463944666,0.0,0.2624812974004089,0.0530233861445891,0.11683644754268535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069134460062048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768466585898953,0.0735591755545822,0.22043326088691306,0.07878833074966259,0.05301437991159026,0.0,0.0,0.060051763027316685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862353642376002,0.0,0.0,0.1423359895338233,0.0,0.0,0.0860204698412458
mentalhealth,Lowkeycrazybitch,2018/02/10,"Am I️ wrong? I️ feel good these days. I️ go on long walks and I️ hug trees and I️ can feel their energy in me... I️ smile at strangers and treat everyone with morality. I feel so strongly and maternal, I feel like what I’m putting out there is just coming around and making me a lighter spirit. I️ don’t feel anxiety much anymore because I️ don’t feel like the past happened. I️ think every thing I️m experiencing is just now... and that’s how it’s always been. 
I️ feel like I️ am everything. I’m just a floating stream of Godly consciousness communicating with my other selves around me in other shells. I️ don’t think the people I️ see in life are really other people... sure I️ can speak to them and I️ go out of my way to be kind and spread light because it just feels good. But I️ feel like every person I️ mingle with isn’t an actually there, I️ just think my mind created them because I’m god. I️ don’t think I️m better than anyone.. I️ think I️ am every person in some way and that since I️ created all these people here they have to just be projections of God too. I’m not religious or raised to be, I️ really don’t have the answers but I️ can’t help but think that these beings around me are just projections from my mind. 
I️ can’t be anyone else or be in anyone’s mind, so how can I️ know that anyone is really there? I️m not having an existential crisis.. I’m just calling out the the abyss. I️ feel like I️ just now only realized that I’m in total control of my reality, I️ make things how they are and perception is everything. I️ don’t think I️m a messiah on biblical proportions but why is does I️t appear so troubling to others to believe that I️ am God of my reality? ",3.065840336134457,4.763190088235298,4.520420168067229,84.28117647058826,74.58823529411767,8.033613445378151,23.319327731092443,8.738905477910976,1.525491596638655,1330,38,272,27,28,443,144,340,0.028,0.846,0.126,0.967,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,5,3,25,15,0,0,10,0,34,2,0,6,3,73,66,22,0,0,17,0,10,5,0,0,1,1,0,2,18,20,0,1,22,0,0,6,11,2,0,0,1,14,17,13,31,59,4,28,3,0,1,1,10,15,0,4,10,154,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.08074695530331875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885027365518513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632995193220703,0.0,0.08206057344957532,0.2314282565169801,0.08478179084253717,0.0,0.220981153299621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513213235897882,0.0,0.0,0.09322501580624708,0.0,0.07318102113040399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844916572577863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127728897777458,0.0,0.0,0.09280529072722976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336352860988038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241050212148614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912263421391786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091481017094215,0.07906616963028443,0.14873132009901052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4183823976899975,0.2955643859515621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405151446767468,0.1388047674370659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731709230905328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055462072302418036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616594042877705,0.04547435929772675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844507510793311,0.20212456474766624,0.0,0.0,0.0732265138694202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046554733347587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506458766014258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082692356650207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293112298049221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898924168089475,0.17209440611576174,0.14449907569002346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318134384389858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590252472351368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593686530775543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844732529538351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798596248232285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994389129004713,0.3711365336712132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313578872128971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746642809710936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046841186483537,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baemilio,2018/02/10,"Advice, cannabis ok with my meds? I'm 19, I've had various long term involuntary admissions to psychiatric wards since I was 16, I'm on a combo of meds atm, I'm on Lisdexamfetamine 60mg in the morning, a small 10mg of medikinet (methylphenidate) at lunch time, 60mg of codeine Moring lunch evening and bedtime, 50mg Quetiapine in the evening and 100mg at bedtime, 45mg mirtazapine at night, 7.5mg zopiclone at night, pregabalin 200mg in the morning and at night, lorazepam 2mg and quetiapine 50mg prn (to use together), and I'm going on a weekend away with some friends and to some gigs as I broke up with my gf after she cheated on me so I wanna smoke some doobies and get pished but I haven't on all these meds before, how is it gonna effect me? ",9.575098039215687,5.828136934640527,9.471339869281053,72.57602941176474,62.00653594771242,12.81437908496732,42.49346405228758,10.504223727775694,4.164416993464052,593,26,126,10,6,196,92,153,0.033,0.939,0.027000000000000003,-0.1926,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,6,1,4,2,0,3,1,19,12,11,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,10,2,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,9,2,27,9,7,25,0,1,0,0,3,16,0,3,8,66,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777082317639132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053516050672486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350903902067165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538320234750656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484578288853428,0.0,0.10039261876304297,0.0,0.10920563844660676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005038661185634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6403198677083617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5409709924098484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895190845468035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204663711232066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659595004397834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cait_m,2018/02/10,"Basic situation but advice would be appreciated! Hi, so I’ve been having issues with my emotional health. For as long as I can remember, there has been a void inside me. Sometimes this makes me numb, sometimes sad, sometimes extremely anxious. Sometimes there is seemingly no reason for me to feel like I don’t deserve to shower for a week, but sometimes I try to ask myself questions. When I attempt to rationalize my thoughts, I usually find myself wishing for affection (not necessarily romantic). My mom isn’t a hugger and my dad (also not a hugger) moved out when I was super young. Sometimes it seems that is the root of my longing for affection, but sometimes I’m just generally down. There are days I have so much trouble getting out of bed to the point of my mother having to yell at me (usually on non-school days). There are stretches of time where it feels I just have a weight on my chest. And it’s gotten to the point where my closest friend who I love dearly is upset and maybe even annoyed by how I feel.. I know that sounds wrong but he just says there’s no reason for me to feel the way I do and I need to find a way to help myself. And there are times when I think I’m getting better, but I’m not. And before anyone asks, I am seeing a therapist, but he’s done nothing in terms of diagnosis/referral to a psychiatrist. The fact that he appears to think I don’t have a diagnosable issue makes me hate myself even more for feeling like my problems are as big as I feel they are. I know I have people in my life who love me, but I can’t feel it.. I haven’t been able to feel it for a very long time. And I know that sounds so ignorant and disgusting, and trust me, that only frustrates me more. Also I’m going to college next year and I don’t know how I’m going to continue to receive help/what kind of help I should be receiving now since therapy just isn’t going anywhere for me anymore..",4.3285216346153845,5.133434328125002,5.596041666666667,81.2473557692308,70.30208333333334,8.407692307692308,28.571314102564106,8.617729084823388,2.0392330929487184,1498,53,300,24,26,502,176,384,0.126,0.7070000000000001,0.168,0.967,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,3,25,21,4,1,15,0,34,8,1,9,1,66,73,31,0,5,14,3,9,2,1,2,4,4,2,0,13,13,1,1,23,0,0,7,12,11,0,0,7,14,49,10,45,62,4,44,0,1,1,2,21,15,0,4,22,206,62,1,0.07628463812975875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454446549517689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200959510297485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617992752766618,0.07565386273097616,0.05333999268651028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263167796426235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491260841933875,0.0,0.0,0.06746756322040913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839456144608022,0.0,0.0,0.0774273019226875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806567026739515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580995026439239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007705680542972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085744410825543,0.10899552144458212,0.0,0.0,0.13944555447571022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058937322186824924,0.0,0.07971114978094254,0.0,0.13006295348795238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753152868957239,0.0,0.08108700310143377,0.0,0.0,0.1533959547816561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924268567253488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943871161575344,0.16769616840190935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388209591581943,0.07453764180858223,0.0,0.0,0.202528512621808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769972852646015,0.0,0.10184117662307396,0.0,0.07663817235360365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934364619838854,0.0,0.08107849772389844,0.05607798644833308,0.05656409257407615,0.0,0.0,0.08112957808134924,0.0,0.0,0.07319716769357122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058017904815128675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288616294746793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422728081344255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299409622476377,0.0,0.0,0.0854562532649215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568666263718624,0.0,0.0,0.08641562419955544,0.0,0.0,0.060664606081961135,0.0,0.07720412642977388,0.060788979984024334,0.1388933390053879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310344096463556,0.08574712945889346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5281322039243432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723813197351495,0.08857234450662009,0.0,0.0977602317497317,0.0,0.06056148159826145,0.1334465578748151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517922618349465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168033502974865,0.06294281563065479,0.0,0.12110238997954495,0.061190935289254025,0.09289413804088034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772356908753187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419041821418786,0.08340527643177334,0.0,0.04912480586545896
mentalhealth,malka_x,2018/02/10,Mental Health For The Youth What's the most appropriate way to take to young kids about mental health care? Especially if I think they are suicidal? ,3.0527777777777767,6.1663386296296325,3.212870370370372,84.05041666666669,88.62962962962963,7.144444444444447,17.86111111111111,8.07648339933343,1.1802666666666672,121,3,22,3,4,37,23,27,0.156,0.741,0.103,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892603664759543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.603139077161804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5718241483131362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103317405994255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331395788434931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817893549688196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251951019911973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,parzi9664,2018/02/10,"I'm happy being socially isolated but this isn't 'normal'...need advice! I'm a 21 year old male, with a stable office job and a *decent* family that doesn't cause too much stress or issues when I'm at home. But socially, I'm incredibly isolated. My close friends are just a few people who I might see once a month, and other than that it's work colleagues or fellow uni students. I can talk to someone if they engage with me, but let's just say I never 'pursue' a relationship/friendship.

And the thing is, I'm so happy like that. I could spend days just on my own completely happy, and if someone does chat with me and be incredibly nice I'll be grateful and engage, but I will almost never get back to them to develop a friendship. The weird thing is, I'm totally ok with this and I'm always described as the person who is contagiously happy and smiling. I know it's not normal, and my brother borderline bullies me about never going out on the weekends (with friends, I do my own things though like run a small business etc.) but it's as if this is 'how I'm wired'. 

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, I probably have some form of social disorder (sorry if that's not the right word) but if I'm happy does it really matter? I travel solo, work on personal projects and enjoy starting businesses - but I do it all without friends and whoever has been close, I'm normally the one who stops contacting them or forgets to/loses interest. Not out of annoyance, hatred but some other reason I can't quite figure out. If I wasn't happy, I'd head to a counsellor and maybe I still should, I'd just like to hear some other opinions if anyone could offer some advice. What brought me hear is my brother going on and on about it, and me knowing that it isn't normal and would usually make other people unhappy, depressed and feel lonely. But for me it's the opposite, and I want to find out why. Thanks!",4.982719876868952,5.441632068601584,6.2917051451187325,78.08086466578717,68.68337730870711,9.16627088830255,29.24813104661389,9.188382445141503,2.438823131046614,1490,51,284,27,24,505,188,379,0.078,0.69,0.231,0.9968,1,2,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,3,3,13,24,1,1,16,1,28,1,1,4,5,89,55,42,0,15,27,2,1,3,4,4,0,3,1,3,28,28,0,1,6,3,1,5,12,5,0,1,3,5,29,19,31,42,12,33,0,2,1,0,26,14,0,18,17,198,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583102249539394,0.0,0.0,0.08111271999255043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674009155071361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663912260387244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572679230472573,0.0,0.0,0.06228624274986753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321230848971277,0.0,0.0,0.08493001676846293,0.0,0.0,0.12934847505983202,0.0,0.0,0.05224017991577461,0.0,0.06976769325647696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928363600323387,0.0,0.14177239613489998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033966401231028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636234056815216,0.0,0.04095750842996517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403519815734952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877479569730648,0.0,0.04232068058082274,0.0,0.09207164827988344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923384483563253,0.0,0.0,0.5173746649199453,0.0,0.0,0.08313236163494711,0.0,0.18259234793716872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125252978839739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454599957095259,0.08038289563635342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903416895965825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283097020085294,0.0,0.1187218001081813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407007573827146,0.0,0.08137831712095894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593129358450861,0.0,0.0,0.06465575510937704,0.0,0.05954646391672078,0.0,0.18742332854737886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31746263835185723,0.0,0.0,0.08499893467269994,0.08626546238590746,0.05488967256856752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123144461168086,0.14145724445801186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733484432691416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615657250648724,0.0,0.0,0.05189254248563023,0.08328448914259726,0.0,0.08696681778806561,0.0,0.0691760480686033,0.0,0.06441677039188623,0.0,0.0,0.06454883693957175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477168171944527,0.13726701651261047,0.0,0.0,0.09067613317600023,0.057334281193574935,0.0,0.06468903372459718,0.06772206523515074,0.09278856713024934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510707591854045,0.0,0.07457660239582514,0.0,0.0,0.16144421511986576,0.0,0.07958495415248762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054995663108579215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921326848024172,0.0,0.04777761884419244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309253291188271,0.0,0.0,0.07808392087634287,0.0,0.11794217585304345,0.0,0.0,0.0575421477694491,0.0,0.0,0.052163222418454315
mentalhealth,theputtyslumpkin,2018/02/10,"Overheard a conversation at school today I was just walking by these people who were loudly talking and I hear “yeah like so-and-so is crazy, they are probably schizophrenic or bipolar like they’re psycho. They’re probably gonna end up on the news for murdering someone or something. And I can say that because I’m going into the mental health field”

It was just some 18ish year old kid but still. It made me so angry to hear someone being so blatantly ignorant and stereotyping people like that. It doesn’t help with the stigma. And when that guy said all of that, his group of friends around him started laughing about the “crazy person” they were talking about and they were all making fun of them. I don’t even know those people or who they’re talking about, but it still hurt me to hear it

Okay rant is over ",4.10846153846154,6.092626000000003,4.151847133757961,86.80622243998043,72.43949044585987,6.868985791278785,25.452719255267034,7.61054688173877,1.3032424301812828,650,21,123,8,13,200,99,157,0.135,0.713,0.152,0.2664,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,0,12,10,1,0,5,2,12,3,0,2,3,24,23,13,1,0,7,0,0,3,1,1,3,6,0,3,13,8,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,7,6,12,7,17,14,3,16,0,1,0,0,23,6,0,4,11,80,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255266728026152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595693338861117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489089371416735,0.0,0.0,0.0931341999088286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089421336531747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013787719150127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396197081493109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988450105367246,0.4767774910670434,0.0,0.09451443209848462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509515683692471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774940975993734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666759452599293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342481484311464,0.09412367803119892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210251069068575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796377202899555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932707774182477,0.12312241060097462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040601166575743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341305323931183,0.11213491517053677,0.0,0.14270723453345496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23895058939951194,0.10855455112414412,0.0,0.0,0.09980591574046113,0.0,0.2252177271552682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400097392672212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365873154114974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080428101766463
mentalhealth,JoshCool800,2018/02/10,"How do you deal with OCD thoughts when your doing rituals with numbers? I have to do almost everything a certain amount of times and it's very hard to deal with, I haven't had therapy for OCD since 2013 and I have a bad memory so I can't remember all the helpful hints I was given. I'm also wondering how other people suffering with OCD deal with those thoughts, I also have psychosis so that may make my thoughts worse. ",3.41,5.252993333333336,4.401904761904763,84.87642857142858,74.0,8.133333333333335,27.47619047619048,8.841846274778883,2.1818761904761907,336,13,66,7,7,109,57,84,0.139,0.805,0.056,-0.7764,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,11,0,0,3,2,19,18,9,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,1,9,1,9,11,2,2,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859711760050405,0.0,0.0,0.29703951252329264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506796152134875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5744057136457441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691264301947922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663681248774077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448381509921976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396915764446648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875446433442242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038390353617475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362902669136633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21238634693431366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423214327476445,0.10829448964127672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323797489856048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014047930507264,0.0,0.0,0.18926395949425412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WenTheFriendly,2018/02/10,"How do i approach telling a psychiatrist i may have (mild) psychotic episodes? I haven't really said anything about it to either my counselor or psychiatrist, but I get these weird episodes of bizarre thinking and not feeling real. I've had them for a while but they've gotten worse through 2017 to now. They're not really bad but everything around me starts to feel really intense for a little while, I wouldn't call it dissociation because I feel hyper-aware of everything and extremely on edge. I have to focus incredibly hard to type during these moments and start to get really bizarre thoughts. I don't necessarily believe them but I get thoughts such as there's a beetle in my veins or I'm going to vomit a plant out of me or something. I'm aware they're just weird thoughts but I get really weird. I very occasionally hallucinate (usually visual but I have had auditory before). I have avoidant personality disorder so it makes it extremely hard to tell my psychiatrist things about this because I'm embarrassed. What should I do?",4.558645833333333,7.210985072916671,5.471041666666667,74.83645833333334,73.27083333333334,9.058333333333334,30.979166666666664,9.586721724236666,3.3744041666666664,842,39,146,23,18,275,105,192,0.158,0.809,0.033,-0.9638,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,0,9,6,0,2,5,0,13,2,1,2,0,32,33,17,0,2,13,0,5,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,9,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,6,21,0,21,23,1,14,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,4,7,92,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498686564095725,0.12439038614755756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666970924555592,0.1703576761423803,0.0,0.11890095321434616,0.1574292043678702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426811705289595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014405246291127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25116277197993475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195686829407154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920151237657547,0.0,0.07941245686142895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25034340513340964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400473636870732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327165609128844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200788769535753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904468823047888,0.4475769000075945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329163622841588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075718987122372,0.0,0.0,0.19780491463019007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24426244246881376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283119547478738,0.08953410612009492,0.0,0.3327928763972349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389416757519234,0.11529286772968565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423980228296048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,platonic_handjobs,2018/02/10,"Not sure what's going on??? I have trouble falling asleep at night and normally will fall asleep only around 4am. 
The other thing is that I have periods when I'm moderately happy and I'll have periods when I cry before falling asleep for no reason. 

It feels like a very short panic attack complete with hyperventilation. I used to have panic attacks but that was over 4 years ago and they were related to some thought spiral that caused it. Now all I think while crying is ""Why can't I stop? Why is this happening? I don't know what's going on"".

Other than this I don't have any common signs of anxiety or depression, I'm not really stressed. I've moved out about half a year ago to study in a different city but I'm more than used to living there now. My coursework is easy enough that I'm chill about everything. My long distance SO isn't a problem either. 

I'm just really confused",1.9614540588760043,4.409686305084748,3.509824561403512,86.4913380909902,81.42937853107344,6.6641688968183175,21.745168004757662,7.85451343220497,1.1479107344632768,704,22,139,13,19,232,112,177,0.187,0.7170000000000001,0.097,-0.9077,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,10,12,2,4,5,0,16,3,3,4,2,29,30,10,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,5,0,0,6,7,9,0,1,3,1,11,3,18,26,5,29,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,3,16,86,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428782104734224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931622977740757,0.0,0.10480192498471384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195590371604195,0.0,0.3117065253761543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165739061598623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073311265574984,0.0,0.0,0.14363819289076032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30096838005169624,0.0,0.0,0.11799485933032865,0.0,0.0,0.1431321534984024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155397552930535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312359413493375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926953178670321,0.09787030592457747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571650258177014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114552645777465,0.14583529032529072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528967743972452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692955554519378,0.0,0.1209703933755598,0.12123756539742528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560556747604855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856190720322702,0.13422745402108033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419198914052097,0.0,0.32147168127246856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108712052610275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552689404179495,0.1408551884416321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453518366452675,0.1569289941369834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291175521941672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101436765167996,0.08778180664485848,0.0,0.10875989495185157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366419293573005,0.0,0.11303643562379913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472360124428895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644247083977532
mentalhealth,Curtiscnogrey,2018/02/10,"Since three days I wake up by terrible sounds. Smashing, hammering, Poltergeist like Wall shaking noises. This happens three or four times every night (for 3 days). As I wake up I can still hear this terrible sounds and it's scaring the sh1t out of me. But what's really scares me is the fact that this is all in my head. My girlfriend is scared by my reaction and me too. It's not only the noises I can hear; I can even feel the ground shaking. It's like a nightmare following me into real life... It's happening only for a few seconds but I'm really  worried about it.

Edit: I forgot, also there's always a big adrenaline push if this happens. Not sure if multiple adrenaline pushs at night are healthy.",2.6883840619811856,4.8668421438848934,4.200143884892089,83.99381848367459,77.20143884892087,7.730160486995017,25.800221361372447,8.617729084823388,2.0490847814056443,554,21,106,12,13,184,86,139,0.136,0.812,0.053,-0.8008,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,5,7,0,7,4,3,0,3,17,16,9,0,2,7,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,11,4,0,1,1,0,0,5,2,7,0,4,1,5,13,3,13,15,2,20,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,3,8,71,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581681367246542,0.13091123577243716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292978094709832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039150385988526,0.0,0.13255738382567664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795508191896751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173794288326791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146605891666016,0.0,0.35464488473475986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112689319886562,0.15372706684421578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952872574942649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393132413440457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907608286060367,0.20157936470308935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.472544590403769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014507370896752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256440106502006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828174500211222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917404389012577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977634025692392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LikelyAFox,2018/02/11,"Do I have Dyslexia for math? (Dyscalculia?)  Dyscalculia seems to not be the right term for me as I don't have a problem with the concepts, I can fully understand how to do a math problem and still royally fuck it up.

 My problem is that 80-90% of the problems I encounter, I will switch numbers around, or not add a ""-"" in front of a negative number. Hell, even if i talk out loud as I write it, I can say 12 and write 21, it'd be kind of impressive if it wasn't so INCREDIBLY frustrating. 

 I actually love math, but this has caused me to fail multiple tests throughout my school years, and now that I'm in college in a class where the tests are 70% of my grade,  It only serves to strengthen my lack of motivation. I don't know what to do.",7.072800378429519,4.945185456953645,7.6705392620624435,78.4896688741722,65.29139072847683,11.54247871333964,36.140964995269634,10.290406445055957,3.3024051087984865,568,22,126,11,7,190,93,151,0.111,0.76,0.129,-0.2435,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,3,0,9,0,17,2,0,3,0,26,23,11,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,1,2,16,3,21,18,2,13,1,1,0,2,5,8,2,4,4,88,25,11,0.0,0.0,0.1860314280425065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970480750382305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583378143190552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259120560966629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623819694707776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985161283961392,0.10476754160817804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205476040759055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449858590011553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7296445314171859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628005198229131,0.0,0.1515999250884072,0.0,0.19293193410761975,0.0,0.17354616759603994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522406759455551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322450616399114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984568699698696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276214040068767
mentalhealth,SummerShibe,2018/02/11,"I need help with controlling anger Hello people of r/MentalHealth

Although i'm decently young i've been having anger problems my entire life, it gets out of hand really fast and i'm feeling incredibly angry almost everyday. For a while I just tried to keep it in or just cried it out but starting around 2016 I started having episodes where I would throw and smash things, for example last week I tried to install Forza Motorsport 7 on my PC and it wouldn't install, I checked the page but I couldn't find any kind of refund so I just start punching my monitor until theres a big hole through the middle. I tried calling my mom to help her comfort me and says I should try to take a bath or a shower, so I walk to my bathroom and just freak out and punch the glass breaking it. I really don't understand why I acted out this way and there have been other times like this but not as bad. Every time after I have an episode I just distance myself from all of my friends and family and just lay in my room the entire day and only interact with my family when I need to. And I just don't understand why I feel this way and why I get so violent, if anybody has any tips or just anything it would be great help",4.580548780487807,5.14887456504065,5.3721036585365844,83.93181402439026,69.60975609756098,8.751626016260163,28.383130081300806,8.841846274778883,2.0227325203252042,957,32,197,16,16,312,141,246,0.086,0.784,0.13,0.8977,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,16,11,3,0,9,0,15,2,1,1,1,52,30,27,0,9,16,1,3,1,1,4,1,1,3,0,11,19,0,2,5,1,2,3,5,6,0,0,2,4,30,5,27,22,2,33,0,0,0,0,10,12,0,5,16,130,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496949336932928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973699472135054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270002989577824,0.1110987442338915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042030545024481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743508049557078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997417115580946,0.0,0.0,0.13708729163167915,0.0804858820934195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514965241091803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353012699900732,0.0,0.12620558350485275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140652317672445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642041785063804,0.0,0.1304060327829313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375927936681178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25095307197297795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109282588735205,0.0,0.12996032875785318,0.0,0.10172891788700793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815015698207022,0.06097113257031625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616462674434036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850757122641649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491626727391056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865208282410175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941705183536035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990056170403855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924622378711716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26500292706669604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938343092424145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291178733656739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554414071988905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389249013876329,0.0,0.0,0.2598430694162216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981213704878657,0.10010728907157827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33783863275394765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730913363012793,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway01847291099,2018/02/11,"What kind of therapy would help me I would like a recommendation for which type therapy. I had the sudden jarring realisation i’ve got some emotional issues repressed. I am very poor at dealing with stress. I wrap myself up tightly and worry subconsciously. I feel caged in thought patterns I just can’t seem to break out of alone. I’ve had one major depressive episode, but also swing very low at times for the last 10 years. I’ve never self harmed nor would but at times have baseless knee jerk thoughts of suicide. I’m capable of bouts of great self discipline but never sustain it. I set unrealistic goals and beat the living daylights out of myself for not achieving them. My lack fo discipline extends to the most basic of things like ironing clothes or cooking. It drives me insane, my ambition is way higher than my drive. I struggle at times to get out of bed in the morning. I get anxious at work someone will tap me on the shoulder and ask me what I’m doing if I know I’m not working hard enough. 

Outwardly people think I am very laid back. I can’t go on like this, it’s affecting my life and career. I work a high stress high performance job. 
I came out of a big break up and a year+ down the line still struggle with some almost obsessive thoughts toward it. I grieved and it released a lot of emotion. I’m angry inside.

Is CBT and hypnosis probably the right course to unpick some of this. Then go for the deeper stuff? Also I have IBS related to some of this.",3.0704166666666666,5.3531154861111165,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333336,76.43055555555556,6.9055555555555586,26.98611111111111,7.921354282810032,1.7583277777777775,1172,47,224,19,27,378,167,288,0.17,0.743,0.087,-0.9762,1,1,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,1,7,5,16,1,6,14,0,15,4,2,1,2,47,33,16,2,5,8,0,3,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,13,14,1,4,7,1,1,5,7,11,0,1,7,3,27,5,41,22,9,44,0,3,0,0,6,23,0,10,15,142,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408603643806637,0.10765581017796537,0.0,0.16624977154097753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742841414071024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717466833674762,0.0,0.0,0.07992739157370611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888554151726735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071628685066478,0.08952779124113262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338485692925646,0.0,0.10740310927497036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525577827404296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086140842379308,0.0,0.11814882966140128,0.0,0.08313441889349461,0.11459987673175535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311442278373984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696722319700539,0.21964748122462552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084917136651703,0.10314950608204468,0.0,0.0,0.10824286111663854,0.05712552701610221,0.08472915724079322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734195218711582,0.15234702538871722,0.0,0.09178545731526694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837043545752553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033779006398202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704359126357761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206246771227158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207043469580256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876857613172583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462774570606812,0.21687488783281425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807237436858506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301071794929475,0.0,0.2381375986464789,0.2173320450542432,0.11899230929507085,0.11369910515989436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377406383164841,0.0,0.0690565279988338,0.06660384447825136,0.0,0.2475624758379825,0.18183372988733834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572968636583999,0.0,0.0825068087889869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22701988568289005,0.10556132876849457,0.0,0.22151892169337506,0.0,0.0,0.13387451610235362
mentalhealth,Somersetcat,2018/02/11,"I think I need help with self destructive behaviour, not sure how to get the right help though. Every now and then (probably a couple of times a year) I seem to go off the rails, I end up not going to work, drinking a dangerous amount, spending all my money and just generally drive my life into the ground. I end up having sex with strangers, and I've spent several days at a time away from home, not sleeping, just keeping myself busy. I end up doing drugs with complete strangers too, and all of this is not like me at all. 
I don't know what to do. I feel like if I tell the doctor they will just assume I'm some sort of drug addict and that isn't the case at all. I feel like this is a problem with my mental state, but I don't know how to get that across to the doctor. Any help or advice would be very much appreciated. ",4.7756140350877185,4.509790684210528,5.432216374269006,86.57323684210527,69.05847953216374,8.477426900584796,25.87192982456141,7.908726449838941,1.1602603508771931,641,15,144,7,10,208,102,171,0.077,0.8490000000000001,0.07400000000000001,0.5531,0,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,8,7,2,0,11,0,11,9,1,2,5,41,25,12,0,4,10,0,2,3,0,2,6,0,1,1,5,10,1,1,7,1,3,3,7,3,0,0,1,2,17,4,24,21,7,25,0,0,0,1,6,12,0,6,12,95,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466005180862662,0.0,0.13141003003148227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144943211144292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634620471169158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409972862759208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879699230739904,0.0,0.08672697690347328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752872023826175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173692772802464,0.3119028240421413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35732192143072683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330324323792836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599190865561284,0.19214175930010968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051807222677554,0.0,0.15285352628395066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704126576086264,0.0,0.13489207513581405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952993860587732,0.0,0.0,0.14781082927803166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498556057008907,0.19709700143685527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355218693962213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885656613578243,0.0997134938789496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498968110409516,0.12867697572582018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484320178054568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242342693470512,0.14028954608643032,0.15192149798504245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457479563419705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674361953169774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753941744693483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616786574818291,0.1321236353277293,0.0,0.15683003033996315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095816754934762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790135081506074,0.0,0.0,0.0955290837172313,0.0,0.0,0.08659921526284707
mentalhealth,ryan7251,2018/02/11,"I'm getting scared. I'm 29 almost 30 but as of late i am forgetting things some not so big others feel like something i would not do like today i put the peanut butter in the refrigerator something i would not normally do since i don't like cool peanut butter but also i have been forgetting things like i will think i need to do _____ only to go do it and forget what i wanted to do.
And lastly i feel unfocused like kind of dazed....
Anyway i am getting scared and don't know if i should get help or not....",2.0321904761904754,3.6705857428571487,3.794285714285717,88.63904761904762,77.28571428571428,6.571428571428571,20.238095238095237,7.3871296695380915,0.4616666666666661,393,9,85,5,9,132,60,105,0.125,0.6990000000000001,0.175,0.7689,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,2,2,1,15,0,0,0,0,26,27,10,0,7,8,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,1,5,12,7,7,22,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,8,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898871505958786,0.0,0.0,0.14294344373837126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807591166119196,0.12769647480756366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801628735285074,0.0,0.10158570702935488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980995436476008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861368852984299,0.09823435522783036,0.14570218543805552,0.20163374210742488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.436632348433888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325382020594434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513353553932182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594470345975793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968951747052564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579126885647999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786088185298935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275215446519712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23750235163085304,0.11453348546213794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943070143732705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542926690553783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539526498918676,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stupidlittlekids,2018/02/11,"Running into a memory issue where I'm not as sharp as I use to be. I think its a product of being an adult and having not as much freedom to do whatever I want. How do you relax/turn off without drugs or alcohol? I'm looking for a way to relax because I think relaxing will help reset my brain's ability to remember things. Whether its supplements, advice on sleep, mental or physical exercises to help, what can I do to help my memory and relax?",5.9913333333333325,5.552208800000006,8.081111111111113,69.18500000000002,66.55555555555556,11.644444444444444,34.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.120933333333333,352,15,64,10,5,127,61,90,0.036000000000000004,0.7390000000000001,0.225,0.9402,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,8,5,2,2,0,15,15,9,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,8,3,15,12,1,6,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,2,0,49,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149965023658964,0.0,0.2351295514784843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411934563634478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456099496883184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25514801355361044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44241505437136813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22963891564265085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475752357531847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217237748693537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173663418237028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24923455858533486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201742923354182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616845537752396,0.2819539687762825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23931357601876144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900226644659619,0.0,0.0,0.12977078323097546,0.17463798352298565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208699418263785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Acosta89,2018/02/11,How was your experience tapering off Effexor ? I'm about to start tapering off of 225mg Effexor (Been on for only 2 months) soon so i was wondering if anyone didn't have a terrible experience coming off ? It seems everyone went through hell ..,4.395666666666667,6.7872431777777775,6.628611111111113,67.57625000000003,72.7777777777778,12.5,33.47222222222222,11.698219412168324,5.360222222222223,193,10,33,9,4,68,38,45,0.109,0.835,0.056,-0.5277,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,11,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,0,2,0,9,6,0,9,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,3,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21525138282862372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651799784114211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29415772480025665,0.0,0.6022601667198599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24571780167672894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341289079972868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802492255886223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178932642851071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28537407482225713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338432214343117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayorangepoop,2018/02/11,"Getting help for (potential) adult ADHD Long story short, I think I have it, I almost know I have it.  Almost every symptom has plagued me since childhood.  A few years back I got so desperate for help that I finally reached out for help.  I visited a psychologist and was diagnosed with chronic depression instead.  Her being the type that doesn't/can't prescribe medication, she recommended I see her for sessions.  9 sessions to be exact (the amount covered by my insurance).  9 long weeks later and I was done.  Nothing changed.  Every week it was the same.  I go there, answer some questions, make awkward small talk, and go home.  Everything she suggested I tried, and failed.  Reading/studying for X amount of time and then taking X amount of breaks never worked.  I could never focus long enough to even make it to the end of the allotted time when trying to use the Pomodoro technique.  If I could manage to get close to the end of the times, I would retain nearly nothing.  I legitimately believe she had me go to my 9 covered sessions to bank on it.  I got nothing out of it.  I have reached a new breaking point.  I have even considered the idea of trying to use a vape (I've never smoked in my life) just to get some nicotine that might do something for my focus.  I will be reaching out to another specialist this week.  I don't want to come off as just some random person looking to get a Dr. to write me some Rx to get high or whatever, but I seriously think that medication would be a life saver.  I have a friend who takes the meds, and he says its like night and day.  Its like a miracle drug, and hes so glad he reached out.  With this kind of history of already seeing someone, how likely is it that another Dr. would find it within the realm of possibility that medication might be the answer?  I'm desperate.  Again.  I don't know what else to do",3.7005524344569314,5.671233643258432,4.749235955056181,82.14876029962551,73.52247191011236,7.6680149812734095,28.720599250936328,8.447377352677275,2.1914662172284647,1451,60,274,26,30,474,185,356,0.044,0.858,0.099,0.9565,0,0,3,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,2,12,10,0,1,20,0,30,12,0,5,4,58,56,17,0,7,5,0,0,3,1,6,12,1,1,2,20,16,0,1,9,0,1,5,5,4,0,0,7,4,36,6,44,36,11,46,0,2,3,0,21,14,0,13,28,184,56,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242640580431338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068524880987407,0.0,0.0940502184079303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873607995148405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553437513974232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602175057584976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015896557948473,0.07341559563981327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360938003977237,0.0,0.0,0.05496442547861482,0.0,0.0734059718590773,0.08650370719670107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721690818657117,0.0,0.0,0.09883637214585776,0.0,0.07119630159601162,0.0,0.15097181848591254,0.08806237155768946,0.0,0.11258338462727614,0.0,0.14361500635189495,0.0,0.07659661732343223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336211647615307,0.07789602062004651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584624202064375,0.0,0.22263819704863674,0.0,0.14530956608683368,0.0,0.13632778669542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137777538523066,0.0900471049389875,0.08548972506801669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621101614150412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875090412621979,0.09367716483219493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039683503115467,0.1249129605842472,0.0,0.0,0.2262698908495319,0.07156929463219358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377949514457425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946680892397048,0.2575719949706856,0.0,0.1808249584944662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719716875985796,0.0823128592328738,0.0,0.07997985501969836,0.0,0.2453330881185147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441701180928352,0.0,0.0,0.08056715240910829,0.09608074377064664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547385130295798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777600654297769,0.0,0.0,0.135829920318671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050073352368308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221264084411122,0.06561198138930005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858358435970279,0.1281603372801618,0.06850231044810275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922016204574084,0.0,0.0,0.14908981305247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735908087291483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472176915644226,0.0,0.0,0.05026914866566725,0.0,0.2050921038669011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620463400577108,0.0,0.0,0.18162864856433736,0.0,0.0,0.05488345476539557
mentalhealth,ElectricalWeird,2018/02/11,"I don't know if I'm a pedophile or not? My sexual orientation is messed up This is a very serious question. Please no bashing, I would NEVER harm a child. 

For years i have lived a not so happy life. The only time i have been happy was when i was in a relationship. I don't know why, i just don't do well outside of a relationship. 

I very much enjoy sex with adult women and I've slept with more women of my own age than i have fingers to count. I'm aged between 19 and 25 (not an old creepy man). 

For a good few years i have found images online of underage girls attractive. Jailbait age and sometimes younger. If i was to walk passed one of these underage girls in real life i would NOT be attracted to them. But on a screen i find them attractive? I've fantasized about teenage girls many times online but again i have no interest in them in real life.

Another thing, i only fantasize about underage girls when i am not in a relationship. When I'm in a relationship i don't find these girls attractive whatsoever. 

To sum this up i have no interest in being in a relationship with an underage girl, but for some reason i fantasize about them when not in a relationship. 

Am i a pedophile? 

Am i simply depressed outside of a relationship? Do i need to just find a girl? 

Am i only interested in these girls online because of how overly sexualized they are on images? 

I think a major contributing factor to my enjoyment about fantasizing over underage girls is that i know its ""wrong"" and ""bad"" to do so. I get some kind of adrenaline buzz from knowing i am thinking something that i shouldn't be doing.

The age of consent in my country is 16 years old. But even then i don't find the thought of dating a 16 year old girl as something that i want to do. ",3.1484256157635464,4.897491880000004,4.895182266009853,81.46271428571431,74.48571428571428,8.484729064039406,26.926108374384235,9.130062681391069,2.2604167487684728,1378,52,276,32,29,468,152,350,0.068,0.8190000000000001,0.112,0.9466,0,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,5,0,16,20,0,0,22,0,36,6,2,2,1,47,51,20,0,7,15,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,15,10,7,0,0,14,0,0,2,16,6,1,1,7,2,39,14,48,38,7,40,0,1,1,1,28,17,0,6,21,196,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860791143222495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055579686954484,0.051511749154064736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278161023617674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581289785756528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30893387380532805,0.0,0.0,0.09265228694361867,0.0,0.0,0.04414890524816403,0.0,0.0,0.07087642566148837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990829972381342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879960246916076,0.18576076921741053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790591820866245,0.0,0.0,0.07461697967814718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567195494066354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211883072867674,0.0626573012775262,0.06517329636300227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26601249282085354,0.0,0.057260869156025414,0.19280316413093607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927580262993506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466178918819547,0.0,0.0,0.1923639784230832,0.0,0.08688232252730921,0.0,0.6350660768909377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010782461859893,0.08357482411229898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613949853334015,0.10829117934990166,0.0,0.06708529785651925,0.0985478101118781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944630887734652,0.04984157953950706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597761483039041,0.0,0.07625008070728638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005585896935853,0.09238987661080376,0.0,0.21766655284223452
mentalhealth,Gregor167,2018/02/11,"Another bout of anxiety created by my stupid fetish. Hello I'm a 16 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome.

I used to have a belly fetish since I was 10/11 years old. I didn't go on porn sites but went onto YouTube a lot and watched it and found a fetish....

Now I don't look at any of that stuff I've traded it for stuff I can value like games.

But bad memories have followed suite. Since I was 10 I used to search for young women ( around 20 or late teens) who were into it and watched their videos as I didn't want to look at men or do anything involving people younger. But I came across a video of a girl when I was 13/14 that looked a bit younger but I'm not too sure and I can't remember what happened but I don't think it was sexual in nature or don't know if I even watched the whole of it as it was long time ago ( I think it was just drinking water ) but I've being getting very worried that I would go on a video that could be potentially wrongful, having panic attacks ( I haven't been diagnosed with a anxiety disorder but my heart starts beating hell fast and I feel scared, even felt like vomiting) that I've done something very wrong. I even told my parents and my chest felt horrible and I couldn't tell them comfortably and their reactions scared me initially.

Another instance that occurred was I saw a video that wasn't sexual when searching the net for fetish things and they were younger then me and I stopped the video after a few seconds. I don't know why my brain decided to click it again but It closed it again.

I feel like a monster. Sometimes I feel there is parasite in my brain that is bringing all the memories I hate back to haunt me. I'm 16 now and I'm experiencing some of the worse forms of anxiety I have ever experienced. I think I steal if I accidentally take a piece of stationery. I think I've wronged someone if I accidentally go past them. I think I've committed fraud by lying about my age on the internet.

A section of my brain starts arguing that YouTube shouldn't allow these videos on the website with the algorithm and that how do I know how old those 'older' women were?

I want help and I want to know what you guys think of my situation. I am told and tell myself I blow things out of proportion and that I do things I shouldn't worry about but I haven't as felt this bad in ever.

Overall I consider myself a nice yet bit of an oddball but I have a few friends who I have been with since early youth. I'm not a monster but my brain keeps smearing me with these horrible labels from the past I never revealed that I have to hide my negative feelings under a facade because I don't want to upset people, I want them to be happy by me being happy. I have a good reputation as a hard worker, especially an over-worker. I don't want to say goodbye to that. I want help to say goodbye to my actions and constant worry, regret.",3.6050627033891587,4.774911319112629,4.70645368680054,85.59243551075484,72.32764505119454,8.045019445987776,27.45043257401381,8.499448955792047,1.7893880942931983,2267,81,477,38,43,744,253,586,0.22,0.6920000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9976,2,0,2,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,6,2,21,26,5,4,31,0,49,11,6,5,6,95,101,42,0,16,20,1,8,3,1,3,2,2,0,6,36,26,2,2,21,8,1,8,19,16,0,1,25,20,76,10,58,67,11,60,1,1,8,1,29,18,1,8,37,316,112,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917369880774366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04539524346770276,0.1399955015733134,0.15320067283341138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054933137810207484,0.05942551948363393,0.0,0.07594270401228617,0.0,0.0513299705379699,0.11147417890796256,0.04069282890872511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575691027364585,0.0,0.0,0.2980797024777285,0.0,0.076349186722108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213773165392591,0.0,0.05329791235454343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775425465435052,0.0,0.0,0.0765062622969411,0.0,0.0,0.06831287119291707,0.0,0.06539384411499856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227184520323187,0.12076625299304727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501200959971132,0.047689317157879926,0.1922839180366354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319269336636905,0.051574241087193926,0.0,0.034876389896950175,0.0,0.1138140972614405,0.05599037715606933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609729630907017,0.059030646516578675,0.1421224823491183,0.05979878091907832,0.06590609514966325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910421982282606,0.08948806019872581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933432870398773,0.0,0.0,0.1467457681762836,0.0,0.07530180838258818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783840271503064,0.0,0.0,0.05907549438072305,0.16817051099031324,0.0,0.0,0.05675215666558285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514850658708027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014236627001207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832184042264106,0.07412279989250126,0.0,0.1274491507646647,0.09255811485235968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561965950948,0.0,0.0,0.10617146838171496,0.13366548877342424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565965115068376,0.07503468028678756,0.0,0.0,0.05656073959800945,0.05139075583568375,0.06602175376547498,0.0,0.09449813745550233,0.0,0.0,0.055809621191160334,0.0,0.0,0.15283550758011494,0.0,0.0,0.06291517982974301,0.0,0.05019095949796872,0.0,0.1166924790862185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330458611688535,0.2566409317860576,0.0,0.0,0.038924995191080065,0.0,0.0,0.12757327402007446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530864152677513,0.0,0.11015865083764742,0.2756140941502493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188194627600899,0.06023541307475179,0.07452884186941076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859795794741256,0.2033768319827781,0.06802838018408858,0.04742037116540658,0.21895618981470724,0.0,0.08597521865807277
mentalhealth,crudelyconfused,2018/02/11,"Does a vivid childhood dream about feeling extremely violated say anything about that childhood? So I've had multiple psychiatrists and friends alike ask me if something bad happened to me as a kid. Sometimes I wonder it myself but I try not to think about it too much. 

I've had night terrors my entire life, sometimes shouting strange things according to my boyfriend and friends. This is why people ask those kinds of things. I also have anxiety and depressiom amd some occasional really strange emotions.

When i think about it one disturbing dream I had as a kid comes to mind. Honestly this dream might be my first memory and the feeling in it was so vivid. All I rememver physically was that there were mice...crawling under my skin. I just remember the extreme feeling of being violated, of my body being violated, i....cant really describe it I guess. It was really disturbing and the feeling creeps me out.

Idk, the dream has just always impacted me and I'm curious.",4.3595138888888885,7.265062994318183,5.051742424242423,76.2594191919192,75.30681818181819,8.683838383838383,32.505050505050505,9.2995712137729,3.638196717171717,781,40,128,21,18,251,104,176,0.181,0.6779999999999999,0.142,-0.9165,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,12,11,3,3,7,0,14,3,2,0,1,26,27,14,0,1,5,0,5,0,2,1,1,2,0,2,13,8,0,0,8,4,0,1,1,7,0,2,7,9,18,4,16,16,3,9,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,5,5,90,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331670428835655,0.1283098949858871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796546688468107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268965689778953,0.0,0.2883194299403456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875371221212134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128563284627493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328328992477175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494476390339716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345849320820594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118802506459138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311656534452343,0.0,0.0,0.2382749102814809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698728448107611,0.0,0.13636189021972947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605795036218271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891868763075603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358583815767855,0.15570185562582511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133575185803882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14470979811702672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449246972523624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069054825013468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963606633582126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468281845073513,0.0,0.0,0.12262903229315672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187136008006674,0.3050229557134622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489227416023986,0.19761510690480005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469424198539136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914492335320305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722741763149435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,minivanhighway1,2018/02/11,"Obsessing over nearly every facet of my life This is difficult for me to articulate so bear with me.

I have ADHD and OCD. Everyday I have these thoughts that I would say are a combination of reality, memories and imagination. I would say its near-impossible to explain sometimes and the fact that I am even capable of these thoughts makes me feel like the only one. Is this common for people with my conditions? I'd say they're intrusive thoughts but they don't seem to fit the criteria to me.",5.126413373860185,6.766324042553197,6.342887537993921,73.50500000000002,69.21276595744679,10.903343465045593,32.577507598784194,10.914260884657429,3.990469908814591,396,18,73,13,7,133,63,94,0.069,0.8909999999999999,0.04,-0.3747,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,1,17,16,5,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,4,12,1,13,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260724777144769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328960211310207,0.0,0.18278485040898293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969350907391892,0.15498498422167278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532341086067447,0.10598798085018056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448119422050646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470070086480043,0.16499584465805944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040179672199847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5175682207020128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974978574251824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456336713218305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5166884003423924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082218792324236,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kingarthersixties,2018/02/11,"I think I've started binging? Need some help I started restricting my food intake a couple of weeks ago and started eating healthier, but that led to me starving myself. I'm trying to eat more to stop this from spiraling out of control, but now I've begun binging. I'm afraid I'm binging because I was starving myself, and now all I seem to think about is food :(. I've never been like this before, and I want help before it gets any worse. 
  
Here is what I've eaten when the binging started so far from what I remember: on Friday for breakfast I had a handful of peanuts, 2 scrambled egg whites, a strawberry, and a handful of blueberries. I skipped lunch, and for dinner I had a bowl of rice, one chicken wing, and one drumstick (with some bread). Later I had 2 red velvet cupcakes (this is where the sweet food binging started), and then like 2 chocolate chip cookies from what I remember. On Saturday, I had a fried (on olive oil) egg with bread, and a bit of a chocolate croissant, and 2 cookies (not at that moment, I ate it throughout the day). For dinner I had some smoked meat with sour cream and bread, ice cream!!, and like 2 pieces of kinder buenos. Today, I had two chocolate chip cookies for breakfast!! A couple of weeks ago when I started my healthy eating thing lol I would eat some peanuts and fruit for breakfast, skip lunch, then eat a small portion of whatever was for dinner; this was for like 3 weeks until Thursday when my binging started. I would like to stop this before it gets out of control, and would like some help. Thank you! For reference, I am 17, 5'6, and 115 pounds. ",4.942132034632031,5.9494609837662376,4.994935064935067,85.37430735930741,69.03246753246754,7.165367965367965,31.225108225108233,7.07126945348624,1.8263251082251089,1245,51,238,10,21,388,139,308,0.118,0.7879999999999999,0.094,-0.7746,0,0,1,1,0,0,54.0,0,1,0,2,9,9,0,1,13,1,17,26,2,3,2,46,37,23,0,5,3,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,14,19,24,5,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,12,10,26,8,37,22,10,40,0,0,4,0,4,9,0,6,36,146,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649091211129715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002618730034132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053808178638665806,0.0,0.2253321555825183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963672725164444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980031714076715,0.0,0.19533672159028684,0.0,0.056926430699495364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516079257588812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320206958070724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223418809521387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749526114298755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587436849288849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545060720175122,0.06807876709219478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962719679106673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998394098419356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035710430849947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373425193468957,0.0,0.0,0.14759426401865788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126656138884797,0.0,0.0,0.058642236293168434,0.1131188751914379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366902610251277,0.0,0.0,0.05992909690913927,0.0,0.08622633238140738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206355170495005,0.0,0.21241305328180574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995401233114203,0.18811204857519265,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DanBenedict,2018/02/11,"[Academic] Survey on mental health, searching for insight to those who struggle with mental health conditions (18 years and older) *Moderator Approved Survey Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdDEAboBX9HAScAsoOcHV4EuHR02JFBBU_47zKLYqeTvVOE2g/viewform?usp=sf_link

Thank you to simmaltree for approving this post.

My name is Dan Benedict, I am a User Experience Design Student at the Savannah College of Art and Design. I am currently in a course called Human Factors of Design. We are studying the factors that vary between individuals which affect the design of systems and products.

I am part of a team conducting research into the the mental health field to create user journeys for patients and understand the process of professionals. This data is for academic use only, and REQUIRES no personally identifiers (name, contact info). 

*The survey DOES seek demographic information* 
(age, gender, residency, etc.)

The survey is intended as part of a larger design process, ensuring that we focus on designing applications or products that fit an existing need. 

This survey and the course is not attached to or otherwise affiliated with any businesses or business enterprises.

This survey, and the work done in our course are answerable to the Savannah College of Art and design Student Code of Conduct.

Upon request, I can provide the contact information for my professor to determine the legitimacy of this information.",10.762524509803924,14.128083384259265,9.960664488017432,46.280196078431366,57.75,11.563834422657953,42.33551198257081,11.326091736570909,6.335442047930282,1185,64,125,35,17,377,125,216,0.021,0.924,0.055,0.7579,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,3,1,0,5,0,2,0,1,18,0,11,3,0,3,0,32,15,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,11,13,0,1,8,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,10,1,31,14,3,15,0,0,0,0,17,8,0,3,4,97,21,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173433667007723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777573104844712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378608874899193,0.16814302040696338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832456430357323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072369110494514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239517026058894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967481754120443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183149570620605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496281297380768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3558567551706554,0.0,0.0,0.1434664607521616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736060614913652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176926263822925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127173219927975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104929333290686,0.0,0.1419084202344728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961739116208865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580826638433208
mentalhealth,sciencelove1994,2018/02/11,"One Year Sober Even through psychosis and having schizophrenia I have maintained my recovery. I graduated college. I am still struggling every day, but the desire to drown my sorrows is gone. My meds work a lot better.",5.134736842105267,8.317739578947375,4.572894736842105,79.19776315789477,74.26315789473685,5.905263157894738,33.1842105263158,7.1686216300943375,2.566294736842106,176,9,26,2,4,53,34,38,0.221,0.62,0.158,-0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,6,1,2,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,20,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32434449460068115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23651168635975398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422229098405281,0.0,0.3089873772270117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31178228079017795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073563807057286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24850697382469264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928725069449373,0.0,0.0,0.38338772659083503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669851343249183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23616326972913376
mentalhealth,nenno23,2018/02/11,"I feel like nobody likes me I don't know if I have been over thinking things but over the past couple of years I often get the feeling that people don't like me very much.

I get this feeling after speaking with people one on one.

I would like to address the issue as I feel it is having a negative effect on my life, I don't know if it is some form of metal health or I need to improve my communication skills. 

Either way I want to do something about it and hopefully resolve the issue. 

",6.577326732673264,5.0895562376237615,7.359287128712872,78.27853465346537,65.83168316831683,9.268118811881187,31.09108910891089,7.554174236665415,1.9644201980198015,384,11,78,3,5,129,64,101,0.047,0.711,0.242,0.9505,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,1,0,22,22,6,0,6,5,0,4,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,6,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,5,14,6,13,20,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,6,7,61,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065382220486822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775281555249608,0.13335154404588445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504663604671107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984132361094751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853977255801786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38965377165965226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20516937476502944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184506283510464,0.3647749739797253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372182265978987,0.138407688358875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529743340908342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819023268397227,0.2588161933348005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370171453044414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401010032669635,0.11960562853711845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401589973053825,0.1100982274621601,0.14816380046982106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259950217364413,0.0,0.0,0.12020436484528416
mentalhealth,tossup147,2018/02/11,"Recently broken up with after a 3 year relationship. Experiencing pretty debilitating panic attacks. We were together for 3 years and she was amazing. She loved me unconditionally, but a few mistakes on my part (nothing like infidelity) ended up driving her away. Now I can't stand not having her in my life, and am terrified I may have lost the woman I was meant to be with. Terrified I'll never find someone as amazing as her.

These panic attacks keep me from finishing tasks I need to be getting done during the day. No sure how to cope with this. Feel like I'm losing my sanity a bit.",4.431240079365079,6.338525437500002,6.436547619047619,71.08067460317463,71.41071428571429,8.906349206349207,29.408730158730158,9.444778638647367,2.9415146825396823,467,19,81,11,9,163,83,112,0.268,0.58,0.153,-0.9535,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,2,2,13,2,2,5,0,11,2,0,1,2,18,19,6,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,6,2,15,6,16,10,3,16,0,2,0,1,9,5,0,1,11,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019230005821118,0.16596570126149085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285280756951875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392272188087438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18077124409340606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564568385774557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931804693864641,0.12619667482939598,0.0,0.0,0.16145218685451554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229078328963676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570119983242493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247710226492611,0.17260163392401862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197622844048028,0.1928311022823884,0.0,0.15943084297995785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098153580961394,0.13624108088522194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949759123002087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145144622278453,0.0,0.1912915213356602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797135371172765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744176330675362,0.1896528038706616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967245682151128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648773696050168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275097937858871
mentalhealth,eupickumaterinu,2018/02/11,"Intense feeling of 'jamais vu' from time to time Once or twice a week I experience the strange feeling of [jamais vu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamais_vu). Sometimes I suddenly feel like I don't know anyone and everything *feels* very unfamiliar. Similar to deja vu, but quite opposite. I suddenly start feeling like my room is not mine, everyone I know seem like I just met them a few moments ago and even my parents seem like total strangers. Just like deja vu, this feeling lasts only about a minute or less. Even if I am sure that everything is perfectly familiar and there's absolutely nothing wrong, I can't defeat the feeling of a complete dissociation from my life and everything I know. I am having these experiences for about a month now. It can put me in a bad mood in seconds and it makes me anxious in social situations.

I am curious if anyone had similar experiences to this. I couldn't find much information about this phenomenon on the internet.

Thanks!",5.979285714285716,8.277939752873568,6.618062397372742,69.75103448275864,68.13793103448276,10.258784893267652,34.84236453201971,10.451354775682146,4.318746798029558,783,39,125,23,14,256,106,174,0.061,0.7040000000000001,0.234,0.9817,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,3,9,12,0,0,9,0,11,1,0,1,3,32,27,10,0,3,8,1,7,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,5,0,0,14,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,2,7,19,8,16,24,4,17,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,6,16,85,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598772192617673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350751354069504,0.0,0.16720614512986545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099832311602092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536229426600087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794394954207636,0.0,0.0,0.1142500888442195,0.32237365136102536,0.3508744038685453,0.0,0.0,0.4231918459098053,0.1708354281587407,0.0,0.0,0.10928082497317644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971304395113601,0.09746195135960058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445274451528301,0.29206865070108234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798109903141235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543614974325536,0.0,0.08789449968411744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472645221754617,0.0,0.0,0.12733349988729178,0.0,0.09093505383159248,0.0,0.0,0.13276348887570286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019648819192197,0.0,0.12717277125887666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769612845466144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439678420127574,0.0,0.12188210840473047,0.0,0.0,0.11825347105491332,0.0,0.0846291723939414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268919670537104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007997326070916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943936746945673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865417143076648,0.0,0.0,0.09590834092103998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072625297879506,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CourtJester111,2018/02/11,"I wish to improve (against the odds) Hello, I am a 17 year old high functioning sociopath, and for all intents and purposes I wish to change. I know what you're thinking ""well you obviously aren't a real sociopath then!"" Trust me, I am, I've done lots of research and I truly am. However, I see my friends and my family enjoying life and being much happier than I know I can be being the way I am. Sociopaths crave excitement so they say, and living like this is sickeningly dull. I feel the typical violent urges associated with Sociopathy and it's frustrating to know that if I were to follow through I'd go to jail and my life would be ruined. I want to see what happiness I'm missing out on, and I want to not have to deal with ""anti-social"" urges. Any advice?",4.009222488038279,5.190582960526316,5.7135645933014345,78.71086124401914,71.36842105263158,9.47464114832536,30.265550239234447,9.800150414767053,2.9396105263157883,598,25,118,15,11,205,100,152,0.108,0.6579999999999999,0.234,0.9571,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,0,2,13,2,1,5,0,15,2,0,1,2,29,30,12,0,6,2,0,1,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,5,12,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,1,0,2,4,20,7,17,23,3,9,0,3,2,0,6,3,0,2,4,79,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558099047367642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218840422253617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007737063595925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524195185501885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838747869005449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938609487473566,0.0,0.09085148984608636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882014361077485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211615329476938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127245495157968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18984154077381846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962419055967954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382626884109394,0.08778245902889834,0.0,0.15866052768017147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527573139703189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208530424039044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854369189838735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20451491372949496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288856391699958,0.0,0.0,0.2863630249295989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513154065518535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195956588597714,0.14262143701810895,0.0,0.0,0.16155369076672724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4132457331596641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276393524458966,0.0,0.0,0.11570788003359453
mentalhealth,KidCicada,2018/02/11,"Someone sees me, and inanimate objects are sentient-ish? I've been like this for as long as I can remember and I don't /think/ other people are like this but I don't know for sure. I've tried talking about it with people but I hate feeling weird or attention seeking so I usually just tell them to nevermind.

I've been to many mental professionals for other reasons, and I've recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, depression, then some older ones that weren't ""renewed"" in my most recent visits are social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. But nothing at all delusional or psychotic. 

So there's a couple things I feel that I think are related.

One is that I more often than not feel like I'm being watch but NOT in a paranoid or uncomfortable way. I've just accepted that most of the time some being, maybe real, probably not, and not always the same being, is watching me. Just observing, sometimes I ""know"" that it's because they're from the future and have a device that would allow them to do so, or sometimes it's just someone who has the ability to watch people and they chose me. 
Sometimes it's a person who really exists. Maybe someone I've been thinking a lot about, usually someone I don't know personally. I usually know something about the person in some way, like ""this time it's a middle aged male who works for NASA"" or something. I used to feel really uncomfortable going to the bathroom and such when someone was watching, but now I'm so confident in the fact that it's not real that I don't have too much of a problem. 

Another is that I feel like some, but not all, inanimate objects are somewhat alive. The vacuum at work's name is Sam, and I hate to inconvenience him. I greet him when I open the closet he's in and I might tell him about some recent events. It's not just a quirky thing, I really feel like he's someone who I should try not to inconvenience. He might get lonely when I'm not around, and he might be interested in what I have to say. The previous vacuum was a female, who for some reason I didn't name, and I was pretty bummed when she broke and it took me some time to befriend Sam. 

I have a cardboard cutout of Castiel from Supernatural in my room from back when I was a big fan of that show, and he's also very sentient in my mind. Though not really as 'Castiel from Supernatural', he's his own separate being. He's been around through most of my toughest moments and I talk to him more than anything else. Any time I'm in my room I know that he's watching me, and having thoughts about whatever it is that I'm doing. My sister used to chill in my room before she found a place to live and he didn't like his stare so she covered it with a hat, I was very eager to get that off of him. Like hey, my guy can't see.

Those are just the strongest most present objects for me right now, some other sentient objects are: my cart at work, my two accordions, my space heater, and pretty much anything that has a face such as drawings, book covers, and plushies. 

None of this is ever negative, aside from sadness that I might feel when something/one is damaged or embarrassment from being watched. Everything is friendly to some degree, and I actually feel like I'm getting positive social interaction from these things. They can be very comforting and grounding. I'm very introverted and sometimes just 20 minutes with a real person stresses me intensely, even if they're someone I like very much. 

I am fully aware that none of this stuff is sentient in any way and no one is watching me, but the feeling remains strong, and I don't know what I'd do without it honestly.

Anyways, now that I've written it out I definitely don't think this is normal and I feel like a creepy weirdo hurray! Feel free to analyze, or not, I'm just satisfied with putting some of this into words.   ",5.471238903683978,6.125051262316916,6.161408954727032,78.75527810142036,67.66844207723037,9.347547714158901,31.62452840656902,9.408791572840183,2.7780405903240126,3042,120,581,58,48,996,284,751,0.122,0.74,0.139,0.9137,0,2,3,0,0,0,83.0,0,0,4,4,40,32,2,3,28,0,64,2,1,5,5,140,107,58,0,5,35,1,11,11,1,6,1,1,6,6,52,35,0,0,28,2,1,4,26,12,0,4,17,22,68,21,75,77,27,65,0,5,10,0,48,29,0,29,40,405,120,5,0.0,0.0,0.051616041853476916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04229859802047412,0.04401130164301453,0.0,0.0,0.07193825216941561,0.05546303381944658,0.08092616313171784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705303944585158,0.09417215724272254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04067153386936132,0.0,0.032243146681275994,0.0,0.04500813772347495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058525216108591176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045556754974982815,0.053685389531430185,0.0,0.0,0.1818602468859714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418540324159465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034935397882650786,0.04784484286085117,0.0,0.0,0.0475369134001135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29418778201214835,0.1889342286451017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057994560995081976,0.040865082741724366,0.0,0.08290339492123312,0.0,0.030060371248120967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052372491106710856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444198400987012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441200778068516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842499001946344,0.0,0.04670558193395077,0.04680873465098756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496782752439199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362530791493245,0.10627646924565047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533038105869007,0.2244449087414448,0.05340695926124027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664755732893015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182401393127789,0.05075236205635295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752521319591372,0.0,0.0,0.06205866381909956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100082601932524,0.18473688105236652,0.055262038388585316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076226091003986,0.05702771466376566,0.05061155938552589,0.0,0.053172181033291015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061180432658214,0.13553871327556166,0.10876584527850024,0.15667668428000395,0.0,0.05991757857437933,0.04517042380079588,0.0,0.04206272112558988,0.0,0.0,0.08429791529916154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783572183020032,0.313713101427641,0.08143939474880339,0.2092505385251171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605888745911788,0.0,0.060549952180349725,0.0,0.0,0.0498511267496152,0.0,0.0,0.08502695062182503,0.09246181257680848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541948869237326,0.1355670672189443,0.05196720841395354,0.041991218206849736,0.12336958261900087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058766187319803376,0.0718218944035863,0.0,0.05166887921317518,0.0,0.0,0.0913653226396681,0.1747628518144142,0.21821176067266268,0.0,0.1259522574943428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098706700496016,0.0,0.1155204340811702,0.0,0.0,0.03757374515780888,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fishbowldancer,2018/02/11,"I just don’t know what to do...about a traumatic experience at my first true job. Ptsd, depression and anxiety... I hope it’s okay to post this here...

So I had a traumatic work injury while working with a dog(vet tech) and have been out of work for months... it’s caused me a lot of issues with my health, physical and mental. I’m now officially off of workers comp because they made me go to a doctor of theirs that was bullshit. I’m not going to go back to work there because of the anxiety, depression and ptsd it has caused me...but I just don’t know how to quit... I also just don’t know how to deal with all of this anymore it’s so tough I’m 23 and can’t even do a job I’ve dreamed of because of  a damn dog.

I can’t go to the vet hospital because of my anxiety and ptsd...even driving down that road gives me horrible anxiety. I get constant panic attacks about having to quit in person... What am I supposed to do? I have two days to figure it out... ",1.3999004975124372,3.0797895124378134,3.500323383084581,89.85605721393036,79.24875621890547,7.053731343283582,24.59950248756219,7.984000788550335,1.2852009950248755,736,27,166,13,18,251,104,201,0.203,0.759,0.038,-0.9852,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,2,8,14,9,2,1,9,1,15,2,0,5,2,28,29,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,11,0,0,4,1,0,5,6,6,0,2,4,0,17,3,31,25,2,20,0,2,0,0,5,7,1,2,7,108,28,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834743162455731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380546400358957,0.0,0.10956227596882824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568213471298975,0.0,0.084949046203612,0.0,0.26938001069499035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269780910365431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938505779503765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124773082190095,0.11389566566410482,0.19030523391062934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307662963913027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593640546763448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806649958130334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093970631684627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057719028975082326,0.10597842316921632,0.25114369910479684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743057512973452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972736481457646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530799911508048,0.21926030577297045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214377843501306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392254716322104,0.0,0.10453484271862544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133358980066213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818070388629398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961951022148402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096463179225278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580524726392422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874207819446787,0.0,0.0,0.2350091556490297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791877241874456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217106989782596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnxiousPretzel,2018/02/11,"Maintaining a successful relationship while struggling with mental health I hope it’s okay that I post here, I’m looking for some advice in regards maintaining a successful relationship while struggling with mental health. 

Im still in early days with my partner (a couple months) and I’ve been weaning myself off of anti depressants which has been a bit rough. I’ve been going through periods of having extreme anxiety, thinking I’m not doing enough, or I’m not good enough, I’m over analysing every little thing and I hate it. I’m trying really hard to be mindful of my anxiety and it effecting letting my new relationship grow but it is really hard. I feel like I’ve lost touch with who I am which is a big reason why I made the decision (with the help of my doctor) to come off of them. 

My partner is really great but doesn’t have much of a grip on what mental illness is about and how it effects people, which is totally fine. He’s taught me happiness doesn’t always have to be such a calculated and difficult thing. But I am still struggling to keep my head in check, and I’m afraid that my depression and anxiety will ultimately be the downfall of our relationship. 

I’m also in between jobs at the moment (I’m a Raft Guide and the summer season is winding down) so I think the fact that I’ve had a lot of time to myself and a lot of time to get into my head and over think things. 

I’d really appreciate some advice on how you manage your mental health and a relationship, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for about 5 Years now and I want to do my best to keep it happy and healthy. Thanks in advance! ",3.483113425925921,5.405918593750003,4.9990972222222245,80.3309953703704,74.0,8.36574074074074,26.22685185185185,9.049649993220411,2.22106712962963,1290,46,245,29,27,433,159,320,0.116,0.728,0.156,0.9711,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,1,7,11,22,1,4,18,1,27,7,2,6,2,48,52,23,0,2,6,0,6,1,2,1,5,0,0,2,17,20,0,2,8,0,1,4,5,10,0,0,8,7,26,12,43,39,10,38,0,3,1,0,15,17,0,6,17,170,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548042967310944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334343347590186,0.06590825909791924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178407573861094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312499122909338,0.0,0.08647574689643209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823156656241759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876432862253001,0.0,0.05108327219748602,0.0,0.13644524467401908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107379960590147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368820587009875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673702487777207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040050466040354483,0.056586947575468075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138344946703027,0.0,0.045016317692009436,0.06643677715854364,0.0,0.08732823631357896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863897277791245,0.14191146707940058,0.07820251941941624,0.1625826352307607,0.252586487925687,0.0,0.0,0.05309214382679522,0.0,0.0,0.07867244022616449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555934582152377,0.0,0.07860274111678596,0.14080925238173014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099660077691144,0.0,0.03869753154551212,0.07938825802438762,0.0,0.0,0.06651563673854588,0.0,0.08646601418400827,0.1346813712344987,0.0,0.07494950032956653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192962923536228,0.0,0.07997854135678645,0.0,0.06322389284859589,0.0,0.05822775169534029,0.0,0.0,0.07650057572569773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491356875057708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586035630265912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029733340954747,0.08144007611687377,0.0,0.5102451368712194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265128689554189,0.0,0.0,0.2484194319872847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292503367889934,0.0,0.0,0.1578688817491471,0.15226184623926092,0.0,0.0,0.09237484592035268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377773263388913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046719538720972835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147383030382592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100801899603096
mentalhealth,Rexogen,2018/02/11,"Having questions about if my grandfather was murdered in the hospital Hello,

my grandfather died recently in the hospital. He meant the world to me and I saw him more often than I do see my parents. He was pretty ill and had heart problems. His heart was very weak and he could not walk more than 50 metres. One day where I was staying at his home he walked the stairs even though everyone told him not to do together with the housemaid, I was not in the room. He became unconcious and was brought to the hospital. He became concious in a minute again I think after I slapped him in the face and after a check up the docs brought him to the observation station for the night, so I interprete this as him being stable. His stats for blood pressure and pulse were decent. He died that night and the docs did not have a good explanation and mentioned that he must have ripped the needles and stuff for oxygen and the electrics out and that twice. Knowing my grandfather he would never ever do that. He was insanely worried about me doing unsafe stuff and we told him several times to not do stuff like that. So I am from germany and we have this case were a hospital nurse killed 90 old people and after researching this that happens alot for my understanding. 
Now I am really worried but not sure on what to do, Please help.",6.079530632411068,6.800328897233204,5.9215390316205525,80.77187376482216,66.35177865612648,9.328952569169962,30.832262845849804,9.354420925462401,2.5980199604743084,1053,38,199,19,16,329,135,253,0.102,0.8590000000000001,0.039,-0.8806,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,0,11,8,2,1,19,0,27,6,4,0,4,41,38,20,4,5,8,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,13,18,0,0,6,0,1,4,7,5,0,2,17,2,27,3,29,17,3,31,0,0,2,0,28,13,0,4,14,151,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436026775468184,0.0,0.0,0.08429630362539926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713100060514073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633186912331524,0.11823350991917125,0.0,0.12489777222898525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963226313300264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558527912354477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097808974700528,0.08761129198703034,0.0,0.13111149181372386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460981968520792,0.0,0.07183408778222967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385767254891109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081061381734167,0.0,0.0,0.24532253667525514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715680184404944,0.0,0.08857160354728284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513655229215966,0.0,0.0,0.09061696061006624,0.0,0.0,0.1434789106820604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297774702287626,0.0,0.12507058129622714,0.0,0.0,0.1464236674474413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373534555806007,0.0,0.12905908068154087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415791764303396,0.0,0.0,0.14766363568311747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931809175620824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488905978356909,0.0,0.0,0.12319141074774625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375286252564595,0.12842064231149006,0.0,0.07621729897164596,0.0,0.0,0.2497955444579705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360723750846259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784837331373814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654820761663144,0.0,0.09285171619721724,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paranoidOP,2018/02/11,"I keep having nightmares about my stalker Hello. This is a throwaway account, I searched for this sub looking for help because right now I can't get therapy. I'm still looking for a way, but for now I wanted some advice from reddit.

About three years ago I met this guy at college. I was an international student struggling to make friends, living alone at the time, so I was happy to finally talk to someone. I never even thought about hiding information from him, or adding him to my social media.

Some time pass and we're working on a project together and I can see we don't exactly match. I don't like his ideas, or the way he talks, and I can foresee the friendship won't last, but I try to be polite and finish the project.

Turns out he wanted more than friendship and didn't understand my subtle ways of showing I was not interested. I started telling him about my long distance boyfriend, hoping he would get it and stop hitting on me.

This is where I realize I made a mistake ever talking to him. He would keep sending me messages talking shit about my relationship and questioning it. At some point I got fed up and told him I didn't want to talk to him. He told me to block him on Facebook. I did.

This led to a shitstorm. He never stopped sending me messages. Even as of today, he still tries to contact me. I told him a lot of times I wanted to be left alone, I blocked him in every account we were friends, but unfortunately I used the same username pretty much everywhere, so he keeps finding me again and again. He went as far as stalking me on reddit and finding out about games I liked, created accounts in said games so he could message me there. Some of these didn't have blocking features, and I had to abandon my accounts, including my reddit and twitch accounts.

The messages are never threatening, but mostly full of self-hate and apologies. Sometimes they're angry, too, like ""why won't you answer me"".

He stalked me offline too - as I said, I lived alone and he knew my address, so he would lurk around my place and freak me out. I got to a point where I was afraid to leave for school. I moved in with a friend but somehow he knew my new address. Leaving every day was awful and I hardly ever wanted to go out alone.

I moved to another country a couple of years ago and I was careful not to let this show on any social media. I hardly ever posted anything, so I only had to hide whatever people tagged me in. I thought I would feel safer away from him.

His messages never stopped. He keeps finding me. He started targeting my family as well, sending messages to my mother's accounts and such.

I have terrible nightmares about him finding out where I am now, or bumping into me in the market, all kinds of things. I can't shake these feelings off and I can never feel safe when I go out, even though he is probably far away from me.

This affects my work, because I can't sleep. It affects my daily routine, because I feel scared of leaving my place.

I'm sorry about this wall of text. I intended to summarize the story but I guess I wanted to get this off my chest. I don't know what to do or how to fix myself. All I want is this to stop. Sometimes I wish he would die, and I feel like a monster for wishing someone dead.

tl;dr: guy has been stalking me for years, I'm afraid of leaving my place even though I moved away, keep having nightmares about him finding me",4.008475336322871,5.393036378176387,4.6736409566517185,85.38613856502243,71.61584454409567,6.786977578475338,30.12140508221225,7.087006719466742,1.705514176382661,2663,112,516,24,50,853,280,669,0.146,0.758,0.097,-0.984,0,4,0,0,0,0,79.0,2,1,0,2,42,24,1,5,19,1,46,5,3,8,11,123,102,44,2,17,12,1,7,4,3,7,1,2,2,2,17,31,1,14,21,4,6,12,18,10,1,1,29,12,104,14,89,61,12,94,0,1,3,0,73,41,1,14,41,357,121,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052826413800542975,0.09584114425424012,0.0,0.0,0.22395776128516096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036762380629441926,0.05668620236511561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044486443228027285,0.048124503791106575,0.0,0.0,0.15237231641973425,0.0,0.0,0.09886268808948943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511736335444844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0431621903763195,0.05981591729355613,0.0,0.034863968667196966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610532812985181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282341932672407,0.14670000490956353,0.09109508628521634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096257810011804,0.0,0.1366707860588336,0.038620187830107865,0.0,0.05921964752991402,0.2470474673889989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252989346474788,0.0,0.08473172665885394,0.0,0.06144663104036782,0.0,0.08647279840424553,0.0,0.05955274226503166,0.10705500311810576,0.0,0.057547447628920376,0.0968535633865613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623500921585047,0.0,0.0,0.053693378928687925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102670632847147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402532743061861,0.0,0.05629475271866168,0.029709741447331118,0.04406578785635838,0.0,0.22896523605723704,0.05873591173371585,0.05527960191584349,0.0,0.10564315630250462,0.0,0.09547123144064748,0.047841043342828016,0.0907928946354946,0.0,0.0,0.04595953728866423,0.0,0.051152499021796666,0.03608520164768485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237039299850485,0.03974002493065773,0.0,0.20847047440344085,0.05221109690883336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041114760529107335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0374781187258851,0.0,0.16944232268659873,0.0,0.10220758800760316,0.0,0.05177415172218481,0.05499804625173497,0.05828539030832532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055912222093575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803977733877201,0.0,0.04616660157512276,0.102846115021401,0.0,0.05412308867563483,0.05471119958801703,0.043078500728625735,0.0,0.05639595099153876,0.0,0.05549140080191454,0.0,0.0,0.0540986394995302,0.11021390517068627,0.09160904442616906,0.0,0.10693265004632024,0.06051529437700207,0.07652732384581483,0.0,0.08634413007465855,0.18078497924339745,0.0,0.056514829744688876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725528687846127,0.0472504716910801,0.0,0.06182186200151175,0.0,0.035914795000795814,0.0,0.10622656171652252,0.0858345650755447,0.0945677595207816,0.0,0.05124217816942368,0.15496878855843504,0.0,0.07340583736658425,0.05880131935048692,0.0,0.05627794834875837,0.0,0.046690135858474965,0.0,0.0,0.2232002620098086,0.12872997859998256,0.0,0.0,0.04860607117219549,0.05011378922789248,0.048780379036873316,0.0,0.12433174025450115,0.0,0.0,0.07871206282426853,0.0,0.0,0.1920119379481223,0.0,0.0,0.1044378266829741
mentalhealth,McRibbedFoYoPleasure,2018/02/11,"I hope it’s ok to post this here. If not, sorry! I have the opportunity to help design a new, multi million dollar outpatient mental health clinic.  I would like to get as much input as I can from people who receive mental health services, their support networks, their loved ones, mental health staff, or anyone who has been impacted by mental illness.  

What types of design elements would you like to see in an outpatient mental health clinic?  What features would help you to feel safe and calm?  I’m looking mostly for input about the physical building and it’s contents, but I welcome feedback on services as well.  

I want to create an environment that is therapeutic and demonstrates that this facility belongs to all of us.  ",5.485843164469117,7.8823490763358794,5.898820263705758,73.98238723108953,69.68702290076337,7.511727966689799,30.22970159611381,8.296473431620573,2.6001694656488548,583,24,89,9,11,187,88,131,0.013,0.7490000000000001,0.238,0.9726,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,2,1,3,11,0,0,5,1,8,8,0,0,1,16,17,9,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,3,7,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,11,11,18,13,3,5,0,0,2,1,12,2,0,4,3,66,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781952949869969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350502893405781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656186410701656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5340100065389344,0.0,0.0,0.1683684842266044,0.0,0.0,0.12474500516027677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271956376229033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546887098373572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335514650670984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6328553163408687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232739145786456,0.0,0.0,0.12130124203891827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510698961603813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870723394045905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028609397688955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008362116354376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059425687030913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252466748146034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107632773724528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407967875509283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292574094190043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26765903731242685,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Idekaname,2018/02/11,"Is my therapist right ? I've already posted this on another forum but they suggested that I get a second opinion here. I have been visiting a psychologist for a couple of months now due to depression ,anxiety and suicidal thoughts. She doesn't know about my belief in this philosophy yet. Anyway, during my last session she asked me how I cope with the troubling thoughts I have. Somehow the conversation turned to how I sometimes (once in two weeks?)talk to my parents about my condition, during the times it gets unbearable. She told me, '' Oh, you are now a mature girl, you shouldn't be burdening your parents with all this. Its not their problem to deal with. You should share things which make others happy, not things which cause pain to others.'' There's another thing: I told her that I feel like I have had symptoms of depression ever since I was around 10 years old, but she asked me if I had the physical symptoms( difficulty in sleeping, loss of appetite etc)  and when I told her I didn't, she told me I cannot have depression. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated. ",6.4839466563587145,7.558582010050255,6.449346733668343,76.08864708156169,65.58291457286433,9.942172400463859,33.39814456899884,10.035473477838034,3.3805768071124844,856,36,152,19,13,271,124,199,0.172,0.703,0.126,-0.9243,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,2,1,14,12,0,0,8,0,18,4,1,4,2,28,32,8,1,5,5,2,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,14,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,8,0,2,11,1,35,4,19,16,2,19,1,4,0,0,28,6,0,3,12,116,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269905914526309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782564666156837,0.2413370313348449,0.08803377052501017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244313779040064,0.21516336266513092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821602080890935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733077277973692,0.0,0.0,0.1186395772447013,0.29734756411007074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834153738289125,0.0,0.10409394821701427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058186508182697765,0.08221120035947327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024621229702445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687305889825926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250185752616148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713384553633135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324343935092312,0.09380330645706768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056220924711696985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681494858906619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185355183807672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075420105963347,0.1225535005769412,0.0,0.0,0.12245029260408145,0.0,0.2555593041097117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021218175837172,0.0,0.0,0.11011337328834836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827533073387934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519307875697527,0.0,0.11516034335813252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381432887638702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587581834312234,0.0,0.0,0.23921862088699075,0.0,0.09249472321207064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336135405204575,0.22935660649827455,0.0,0.0,0.1827169421918926,0.06710246171173484,0.0,0.0,0.4398449219248405,0.0,0.0,0.12517098745841995,0.11241373815124993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174756669493778,0.0,0.0,0.07410596699936653
mentalhealth,is_reddit_useful,2018/02/11,"How do you break out of a state where every choice seems wrong? One's emotional state (mood?) creates a bias which affects perception of everything. In a bad state the negative bias can be so strong that it seems like nothing can help. Then pessimism, fear and avoidance almost always overpower hope, desire, interest and so on.

It is not a binary thing. There are varying intensities of badness. What happens actually happens is that in a bad state one becomes limited to a set of habitual behaviours. If the state gets worse, the number of available behaviours decreases.",6.4860000000000015,8.8795282,6.631,69.78550000000001,67.0,10.6,36.5,10.686352973137794,4.7478,460,24,70,14,8,147,72,100,0.26,0.581,0.16,-0.9107,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,5,11,0,2,9,0,7,0,0,2,0,15,13,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,4,10,12,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,5,2,47,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.18437409084076134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891919164516685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157209724646926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4732605146243051,0.0,0.2086647520997381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125273499595033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918656399651174,0.0,0.16980331840248505,0.0,0.0,0.21260530730388547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987111597954072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341506158373201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266396871373132,0.0,0.0,0.18765588462717456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923044905456736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181289000011358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560555816055884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440001209054543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552055321437486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254172598757127,0.0,0.20657164254341875,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,watermeloneating,2018/02/11,"Irony So back in October my grandparents (whom I live with) thought I was depressed so they suggested I see a psychologist. They assumed I was cutting (they assume a lot of things)  because I was using a lot of band-aids for a cut on my heel from new shoes. 

At the time I was mildly depressed from what I can remember. After therapy things got sooooo much worse. I went into a downward spiral and then I've been rapid cycling since then. I start mood stabilizers next week. Currently I'm stable but I developed (maybe already had) adhd symptoms. Conner's Rating Scald says I can't use medications though and I am doing quite poorly in school. 

I just think it's quite ironic how therapy is supposed to help you and since I started things got worse x50. 
Is this what seperates ""mental illness"" from neurotypical people?",4.074873949579832,6.510052738562095,4.7910971055088725,80.17779411764708,73.90196078431373,7.508683473389356,27.922035480859012,8.418075326091056,2.2588584500466853,651,26,113,12,14,209,108,153,0.142,0.8220000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.8998,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,2,6,5,2,0,6,0,12,5,2,3,0,17,23,10,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,10,2,20,0,14,13,3,18,0,2,1,0,8,6,0,4,11,75,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642960626453948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086032214079373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511976593180906,0.0,0.08333573164286326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23549224550837786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186752371845456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916322748989614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207153842875937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23244795827024345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734123732640668,0.0,0.0,0.13771860322246768,0.1377691854496187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004958731277127,0.0,0.0,0.1320331273058914,0.14539016648324202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477589083333182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908108864983074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548631496213211,0.0,0.0,0.10871543260156866,0.0,0.1383554686253018,0.10893831977483864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22617200790356226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935247962584784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209162189212005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126742880037776,0.0,0.2724675201970023,0.08759676005760779,0.13431459954647929,0.1085306259477172,0.07971534642429508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614308132600914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096586532232336,0.0,0.0,0.1267293871350841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27863360632095685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ILikePizzaAndPie2002,2018/02/11,"Does anyone else have thoughts like this? *Maybe triggering*

Sorry if I should be posting this somewhere else, newcomer here. First off, little backstory. I’m 15 and For the past few months I’ve been dealing with SH and really empty/numbness/sadness. Nobody knows about it and I’ve never been to a therapist or diagnosed with anything.

Onto the actual post now, for the past month or so, I’ve been having some pretty awful thought and possibly paranoia. Basically these thoughts consist of these freaky monsters *think The Ring girl but worst* , sometimes attacking me and killing me in horrible ways. These thoughts come randomly and I’ll sometimes not know that it’s not actually happening and I’m safe in my room or wherever. On top of that, half the time, I feel like something is behind me or watching me so I’m constantly looking around as I do task. I can’t walk up stairs without thinking something is gonna attack me, these thoughts are starting to make it pretty hard to fall asleep since I’m always looking around to make sure nothings there.

The other night I woke up and could’ve sworn I heard a whisper but nothing was there. I’ve been seeing these monsters in shadows on the wall too.

I’m literally freaking out as I type this. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what are some ways to cope with it?",3.604475806451614,6.2771012701612925,3.980412903225808,84.19361935483872,76.62096774193549,6.871225806451613,28.87161290322581,7.976525956113202,2.16721270967742,1057,47,188,18,25,330,151,248,0.121,0.8,0.079,-0.8966,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,11,9,3,0,9,1,16,2,1,3,2,46,42,21,1,3,11,0,2,2,0,2,1,3,1,1,17,15,0,1,10,0,0,3,5,5,0,2,12,10,13,4,29,27,4,35,0,0,4,0,3,17,0,9,13,117,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.197083784591113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402343129301856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412150974744391,0.20693184208485735,0.0830979180990424,0.17978717939270794,0.0,0.22975860654587066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698530993748115,0.0,0.10912348276079648,0.0,0.08062429586654378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410592362374342,0.0,0.1024925523748744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836825951293027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530674432357112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105851114342873,0.07214011668287397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589351796657409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929626132983592,0.0,0.09045822607848188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171938457377804,0.0,0.11099191045143594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866743341507582,0.10120846666082177,0.0,0.0,0.16959549864939566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480983929133586,0.0,0.10144796084602777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120251056696094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788198449244213,0.0,0.0,0.0947628690745165,0.0,0.19378602527095296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927936308431061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383975302627765,0.1934218115575023,0.2054658818017033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469035984681484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804679687928295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353168155802132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547864147997062,0.19974356120393127,0.11303881836773565,0.07147414839035685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517243451014078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172455378514251,0.0,0.12940778541907702,0.0,0.4008341160336247,0.05888223741322405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030641310599542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973410956138757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,josef_dubz,2018/02/11,"Help. Former Classmate Keeps Messaging Weird Things on Facebook Someone I went to highschool with added me on facebook a months back and its been 7 years I last spoke to him. I saw him walking outside a few times and he just looked out of it. Recently, he started messaging me and others about random things and it a) never makes sense or b) relates to the past (highschool). Also constantly keeps asking how am I doing? Nothing is suicidal though.

He's clearly not in the same state of mind he was in the last time I had spoken to him in highschool. I notice that others don't reply back to him but I feel a bit obligated and bad if he gets this sense that people are ignoring him. I think he needs help, he's clearly living in the past and is not ""normal"" but I don't know what to do. The easy thing is to unfriend and ignore but I just can't do that. Your opinions will help.

Thx
",1.900903954802264,4.178212112994352,3.111666666666668,90.2677259887006,80.41242937853106,5.515254237288136,22.82768361581921,6.691623216298621,0.6517887005649716,692,23,139,7,18,223,104,177,0.071,0.799,0.13,0.8703,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,9,0,15,0,0,2,3,36,29,15,1,3,9,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,13,9,0,4,3,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,6,4,18,0,18,22,3,25,0,0,2,0,20,7,0,4,15,97,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483965008514508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594006932887085,0.0,0.0,0.2400750991425073,0.13034380437332488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042969398728894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168697477294683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893298313434455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081560077616345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31390805457974624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775122349939177,0.0,0.0,0.08579296966867601,0.2544979940460895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784637738667374,0.0,0.1310915490362509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420341812587508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762475397074874,0.0,0.12460405486611555,0.0,0.0,0.11575223273827985,0.12040024729946325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295286529489324,0.1497900028989821,0.17773019040354684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29804583155587144,0.1082257517719913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413798847067325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226994896208938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049416880938104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075700461527218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111340019860845,0.10002781431721698,0.15337548802822115,0.0,0.18205586291360767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471384097478324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052854563722832
mentalhealth,Razqua,2018/02/11,"How to relax and relieve stress? So Ive suffered from depression and anxiety issues my entire life. Frankly while it's rarely a serious risk that ill actually go through with it I contemplate suicide on a daily basis.

While it's certainly not the only reason Ive come to the conclusion that a big part of the anxiety in my life is due to an inability to deal with stress in a healthy way. Whenever there's some of kind major fear or concern in my life it eats me apart every day until it's either resolved or I go through multiple mental breakdowns and eventually get to the point where I'm too exhausted to care for a while.

I know this isn't how most people deal with stress but I just don't know any other way. A thought like ""My life is going nowhere and I'm probably gonna end up homeless"" or ""My fragile lifestyle is falling apart"" just eats me apart and often drives me to a point where I can't function as a normal human being which usually just compounds the problem and increases my stress levels.",7.621949999999997,6.503829295000003,8.022000000000002,73.17100000000003,63.55,11.2,37.5,10.355215969177356,3.8179,809,35,151,16,10,268,119,200,0.162,0.746,0.093,-0.9156,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,2,11,18,0,6,14,0,9,8,0,3,1,33,21,18,1,2,9,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,1,10,10,2,0,6,1,0,7,4,11,0,0,1,1,16,7,23,18,6,31,0,2,0,0,3,14,0,6,9,99,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.1165126348588881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119292962442776,0.0,0.18267422601412647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217315126849466,0.0,0.0,0.10284851872374648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700012093767797,0.2461827185018948,0.10283503668924697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443424923892585,0.0,0.0,0.10574883827467048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059572861235326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343529583034174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062379140503384514,0.0,0.20356538005552308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461772149820685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433187996672584,0.13123311957448272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373298557089259,0.058330535238122115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203224268363876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698208919694945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080554090916304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292935248913769,0.0,0.08277369974592233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22573438820057734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287283770095713,0.11424522157402678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275830111136835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5470678624906959,0.0,0.0,0.13059913004176074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478656825533037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149710573929,0.0,0.0,0.18954093675953432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fit_For_Funner,2018/02/11,"Sex saved my life. I had severe depression for over 10 years (nearly half my life). Near the end of it, I spent 3 months thinking about suicide every moment of the day. It was agonizing, and nothing was helping. 

Finally, after 3 months of torturous thoughts of suicide, I made plans to kill myself. Once the plans were in place, I figured I had nothing to lose, so on impulse I hit up an old friend and asked for sex. 

Something suble yet amazing happened. Sex slowly started to wash away my agony and stress. I finally felt at peace and I felt connected.

Ive been having sex for over a year now. My 10-year episode of severe depression is completely gone and I feel so peaceful these days.

Ive been depression-free for 10 months now. :)

Who knew sex could be so life-changing",2.8206981981981976,5.315820033783787,3.406648648648648,88.21222522522524,78.39189189189189,6.3790990990991,27.43423423423424,7.554174236665415,1.6669363963963972,607,26,116,9,15,190,93,148,0.232,0.6409999999999999,0.127,-0.9613,0,0,1,0,0,3,25.0,0,0,0,3,7,9,2,1,5,0,13,8,0,1,0,15,26,8,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,1,1,0,6,0,1,14,3,16,3,23,9,0,28,0,3,0,5,4,10,0,0,17,71,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172568819594913,0.0,0.12233348110244245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774142415672413,0.0,0.13651924800978926,0.0,0.0,0.10395945519781408,0.0,0.0,0.16794509996248802,0.0,0.22429368040084174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153244890961342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970476079690206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583641996041306,0.0,0.2500377029080854,0.2852701515164119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059737368321786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514135508752485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727480659170389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405442218745082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27590652933789234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566799208512074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320472811848422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311789237876904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24987368132138854,0.0,0.13663002887171344,0.13866588636438326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603828876129345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941930190181351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023947923780427,0.0,0.0,0.09216097266373248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915133530541447,0.0,0.0,0.2848499935166324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343119605529146,0.0,0.10336957583240068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515465380543446
mentalhealth,templivs,2018/02/11,"Cool discord server to hang out and vent in. A really cool server to simply vent and talk with a LiS theme. If you just need to talk or share some memes and find some hope. I hope to greet you soon.

LINK: https://discord.gg/UP8tDHt",1.8259848484848504,4.619401749999998,2.02,93.64166666666668,88.31818181818181,4.751515151515153,11.87878787878788,6.42735559955562,-1.0038666666666658,183,2,38,2,6,55,31,44,0.052000000000000005,0.655,0.293,0.8883,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,15,3,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,5,7,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,6,1,21,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31675790360902545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6884426837841596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256976616438958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22202105727812885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5571182732364515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LoveShackIsMyJam,2018/02/11,"Some unhelpful advice from experts - TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts Major depressive disorder. Not persistent depressive disorder, no, a year and a half isn’t persistent enough. Most days, I feel like I’m bobbing just above sea level against forceful waves that want nothing more than to pull me down. It’s a struggle not to give in, to just lose the battle. That fight is how I found myself in my bathroom on the phone. The ridiculously inefficient call went something like this:
Operator: How can I help today.
Me: I need to have the number for the suicide hotline urgently.
Operator: Sorry, we don’t have one. What exactly is the issue?
Me: I’m suicidal and I need help.
Operator: Have you tried having a bath?
As you can probably guess, the rest of the call was a train wreck- not being one for foul language, I politely left the call, leaving the operator thinking that a bath was just what I needed to soothe my relentless, distressing thoughts of ending my life. I can only laugh really.
I could have given up there but I decided to phone my locum doctor and ended up on sedatives, but since I’m six months away from being 18, they’re just travel sickness tablets meant to numb me. I see my psychiatrist in a little over the week but for now, the so-called “mental health experts” have greatly disappointed.
Moral of the story: if someone is suicidal, don’t tell them a bath will cure depression, thanks.
",4.095461538461539,6.72808377692308,4.895230769230771,78.48976923076923,74.69230769230771,8.313846153846155,29.246153846153845,9.065960079200117,2.90288,1122,49,192,27,25,362,157,260,0.192,0.7390000000000001,0.069,-0.9856,0,0,1,0,1,1,41.0,1,2,1,3,8,16,3,2,21,0,21,5,0,3,1,34,40,10,4,6,11,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,3,0,7,4,0,0,7,4,0,3,7,11,0,4,8,2,25,5,28,28,6,24,1,5,1,0,14,13,0,4,10,130,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381461552263672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099814166861892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32544285242470583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482245673444527,0.0,0.0,0.0685147683210914,0.0,0.2745080901791307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435160717150757,0.10873916955504463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881907993489472,0.10977232878434184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371716187831972,0.07589650068113182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648456369261748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191324027742148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712785069412293,0.11703321495390615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292610383533913,0.0,0.0,0.14241828205131918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088494684394727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249077989223406,0.11542797731888745,0.0,0.07503909289438195,0.1038051124911834,0.10647845903308496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885322920096905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070629902672354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479821641285219,0.0,0.0,0.23632255529464424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193829643792568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397933565004284,0.08079884189660222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145426113590057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805883003710225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465798960572142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788123193831078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001517461896245,0.08178725902856364,0.0,0.11892482504506252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110631008083279,0.0,0.4648288355281725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928567585600954,0.09780974421531803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807306756501533,0.0,0.16868232633612587,0.0,0.0,0.10070127124825742,0.0,0.0,0.07212867801420599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266196807363572,0.0,0.08521777409397971,0.0,0.0,0.09848375815779184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841383595240559
mentalhealth,emptyspaces000,2018/02/11,"Triggered by sex. 24yo pathetic person never been with anyone. Living is a minefield in such a sexual world. Hey guys. Life is really hard for me because sex and relationships trigger me. I'm 24 and have never been with anyone. I feel pathetic because of it. The older I get the harder it is to relate to people because of it. Every time I see something about sex I get a panic attack. I feel like an alien and a failure because I'm actually attractive, but have a hard time forming connections. People just rave about it so much, but I've never experienced it. People always like to talk about these ""adult"" topics that I have never experienced and it makes me feel like shit. I feel so old and pathetic because most 24 year olds aren't like me so my self-hatred is through the roof. I feel it would be hard to get into the world of relationships since I'm starting so late. I feel others will find me weird, unrelatable, and I feel that I'll resent many of these potential partners due to their experience and my lack thereof. Living every day is really hard the older I get. Right now I was triggered by an ad on Spotify called ""bedroom jams"" with a picture of people ""holding"" hands in that sex way. You know what I mean. It triggered me because hey even my favorite app shows me how pathetic I am. A simple ad that reminds me of how pathetic at being human I am. The other day I was triggered by a motivational video because they were speaking about passion and crap and mentioned making love and also said that this is something most of you can relate to. Of course it stung and I was burnt by the very video I came to try to feel uplifted. My life is a mess and I am in a deep hole because it's getting harder and harder to ignore this shit and the older I get the more alienated and behind I feel. Society simple cannot shut up about this. I just want to be at peace. I just want to get it over with and be with someone so I can feel like everyone else, but it's so hard......",3.506714577378524,5.054189232911393,5.003152307064108,81.88725193956718,73.12658227848101,7.527153940383831,26.15965700285831,8.155646560271837,1.6878819926500612,1557,53,300,24,31,523,175,395,0.145,0.764,0.091,-0.9651,0,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,2,1,20,17,5,1,21,0,29,12,4,10,4,65,60,28,0,4,6,0,16,5,1,2,2,2,1,5,25,23,0,2,15,3,0,1,6,9,0,0,8,21,40,8,45,46,6,34,0,0,1,6,19,14,3,2,23,204,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0747278180236719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061238363540220164,0.06371795321889025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708842564758443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711705721986862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734435901999176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819337787240144,0.08758335056497661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877127973632097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397001114718427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057819162054646,0.0,0.1290383538370245,0.0731723235107272,0.0,0.07490671167445002,0.0,0.0,0.38719483058453663,0.164119240642815,0.0,0.0,0.0699897213153108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800571754264184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582297759247951,0.0,0.0,0.3429884336330012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042084554564052135,0.0,0.08638185899417297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081767831527378,0.18705755078738795,0.0,0.13523726741223832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911346626284633,0.0,0.10223109079485032,0.07763675995741832,0.0,0.0834144812724327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629268940411113,0.0,0.2362427036419348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070874119082806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984626426471166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123545821189532,0.06686382534295418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811399651266116,0.0,0.0,0.16442944686200958,0.0,0.06539608789492324,0.07284198260344918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102171968293146,0.0,0.0798862043583429,0.0,0.15720977505131714,0.06334504192346023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488319387680366,0.11790497783658738,0.0,0.0,0.054201386130194616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154945502419878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930498531618852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051990556253249824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318380161137195,0.09033384960778186,0.06078302429327601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439789433275633,0.0,0.0,0.04931288752975079
mentalhealth,titan1846,2018/02/12,"Had traumatic incident while on a routine dispatch call I'm a cop in the US. Saturday night I had a very routine dispatch call for a possible shoplifter. I get on scene talk to the reporting party and she shows me on the camera the guy in question. At that point she just wanted him to leave the property. 

I make contact with the subject, and he was belligerent. Which is normal in my zone, so no big deal. As he was walking off the property and leaving, he said ""You think you're so cool with your gun. Well I got one too"" then he reached in his bag and showed me the butt of a hand gun. 

I draw down, start with verbal commands, and he takes off. I chase him for about two or three blocks until the on duty sergeant called off the chase. It got into a residential area and we didn't want to risk a shoot out in a residential area (he did get arrested later that night). 

The thing that is getting to me is that is the closest I've ever come to shooting someone. I was pulling the slack out of my trigger and was aimed center mass. I've had to draw my gun before, but I always had a partner with me. This was one of my first shifts riding alone. This time was different. I felt terrified. I felt like it was going to be me or him. It was a feeling I've never felt. I can't even explain it. It was like an adrenaline rush, with anger, fear, and everything else. I'm having nightmares. I jump every time I hear a loud thud or a car back fire. I'm not sure where to go from here. Any help I can get is greatly appreciated. ",1.8706914650844373,3.6629045846645374,3.3594192149703344,90.88747204472843,78.2332268370607,6.5161570059333656,23.958124144226375,7.447530270364453,0.9348558649018716,1177,40,259,16,28,387,173,313,0.125,0.7909999999999999,0.084,-0.8978,3,1,0,5,0,0,38.0,2,2,0,1,11,9,1,2,26,1,24,2,2,2,3,41,49,18,0,3,6,0,6,2,1,0,0,3,0,2,13,18,0,2,7,2,0,9,5,3,1,5,21,10,33,6,39,27,0,48,0,0,0,1,29,25,1,4,16,167,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387350075247712,0.0,0.0,0.09951997063521073,0.0,0.0,0.08133470808838197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196796516492614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177405296752197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663866591726435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302811200941887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330630042773905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496054950346615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991365556002337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789972039366539,0.10818851474059794,0.10077138809340644,0.0,0.1074922133419504,0.0,0.0,0.13458756439712624,0.060475291849855825,0.0,0.3445153092906528,0.0,0.0,0.10173495957310012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499522658988031,0.0,0.13594722956217584,0.0,0.19131622314366914,0.1318636485397093,0.0,0.11842659913376966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480221276072493,0.0,0.0801679283737879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25328638023768746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686478313265268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983648751991616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224584964484528,0.0,0.0,0.22448019088189272,0.11718636241375807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209330573920214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306428191919585,0.13483535132938732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398366600839007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377063454631872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133993989348436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465620886368193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272519750711145,0.0,0.08992719782079124,0.0961330307578918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945947235811948,0.07663730703856815,0.0,0.0,0.13948391414446945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683556609522805,0.0,0.14386868512415596,0.0,0.0,0.09868568846496656,0.1410908795115966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753821005126926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,otmir,2018/02/12,"Lifetime question I constantly try to find who is guilty for what, and I live deep in those woods trying to find guilt in every situation. I am not happy, because this makes me feel and present myself as a weird person different from the whole world.
What is this? What am I? ",4.479339622641508,6.040300660377362,4.7171226415094365,84.84285377358493,70.69811320754717,7.564150943396226,26.45754716981132,8.07648339933343,1.5573811320754718,217,7,42,3,4,68,41,53,0.181,0.8190000000000001,0.0,-0.8384,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,8,6,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,7,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,30,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400606728623756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730124361687963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26395343130046856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21285880839879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774160209838012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618139719344696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26893835064453325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230843988356737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863814145819178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205941685440557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830129070467119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28397622703912345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34304987697019745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28206183112633915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,butimawkward,2018/02/12,"Anyone else unintentionally constantly over exaggerate to seek attention? ever since i was younger i've always been the unwanted one - ugly, ignored, bullied, left out, uninvited

that hasn't changed.

a bad habit i have developed is being very...dramatic. like i lie to make things more interesting (not about serious things but it gets silly), i overreact heavily about things that HAVE happened, and i sometimes even spam or talk loudly.

i think after my whole life of being left out i have never received much attention. i think this is my unhealthy way of ""trying to make up"" for what i never got in child hood but idk

any one else?",6.518157894736844,8.118026385964917,6.942938596491232,70.66598684210527,65.84210526315789,10.261403508771927,32.671052631578945,10.411451182825502,3.7226,504,21,83,13,8,164,84,114,0.194,0.757,0.049,-0.9311,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,2,3,18,17,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,3,1,11,3,14,12,3,14,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,6,59,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338343540736914,0.0,0.0,0.11718301150142865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204896389952237,0.17656145408910098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387939122275994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229093710749011,0.0,0.0,0.18621591145564031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879012742239723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381525150899173,0.1558726436122896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002970545428031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378194604982965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238135983587145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744507783441341,0.0,0.12171419526356612,0.08418649029307676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300488992992736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266744894857757,0.0,0.2658064856677106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23353599167161385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254427940910144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042816250888715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850370049558666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434437947372069,0.22083045831750775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699347181982303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677901434906262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238830914487612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hootiestew,2018/02/12,"Where do I go from here? I feel as though everything in my life is falling apart. I am a Sophomore in college with a double major that I started this year loving. Yet, this semester, I find myself dreading all of my classes. I enjoyed every single one of them last semester and they were similar in nature yet I can barely handle getting out of bed in the morning or completing any of my assignments. I don't know what I am working for. I always supposed I would go into Consulting or a similar field but am realizing that may not be what I want to do without seeing any other viable solutions. My relationship is falling apart. I get upset with my significant other over the dumbest things and don't derive happiness from it, it just acts as a place where I can seek refuge when things get stressful. Despite this, it also acts as a major stressor in my life. 

I have been going to therapy sessions for a month and a half and yet I haven't seemed to get anywhere despite being extremely open with my counselor and trying desperately to find the cause of my depression. I can't even get myself to do normal activities like folding my laundry after I wash it or charging my phone at night despite the little effort it takes. I just don't know where to turn anymore, I feel so overwhelmed and feel as though I am working towards nothing with no direction at all. I have tried all the classic methods of eating breakfast, sleeping more, drinking less alcohol, exercising more, but I still feel as though I am drowning. Does anyone have any experience with these feelings or have any advice on where to turn and what to do? ",7.386355996944232,7.230961363636367,7.796661573720398,71.43389992360584,63.61038961038962,10.104201680672269,37.273491214667686,9.627879704456738,3.6958290297937353,1292,59,219,22,17,426,163,308,0.116,0.831,0.053,-0.9685,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,3,18,9,0,4,12,0,28,10,1,1,3,44,51,24,1,3,10,0,5,1,0,2,5,0,1,0,18,15,4,0,11,2,0,7,8,5,0,2,2,6,38,4,42,45,10,39,0,2,1,1,6,21,0,6,12,181,56,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814990024119467,0.0,0.11827744756925225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850640655347537,0.09209010081797084,0.0,0.0,0.3010499870549309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975942550350018,0.07738622645681703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369326099587496,0.0,0.0,0.1160401716776626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532383733194227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685205427132476,0.0,0.0,0.10841893566612884,0.0,0.11324770597485735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309950383255412,0.0,0.09324809111032166,0.0,0.09946715921060302,0.10826095757259352,0.0,0.0,0.2798019175399067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023090876760247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28911445134305896,0.0,0.18869671076664035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781512831255532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164768881916875,0.09021453886134936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634543112954213,0.05407000018219757,0.1109249855070098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988811244705886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833937880048776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386057832415008,0.10843757147729788,0.10619522631777296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499594690475106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563136050576535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882305985996774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819329614029599,0.10075396381084137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075448897873903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833602400969156,0.0,0.08838484748600403,0.0,0.12677733584902154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321349635390934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265660060407068,0.0,0.14705452129249408,0.0,0.32621158316700666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028152428238178,0.2407642830276859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527872363600802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668632750253294,0.0,0.1611447972668512,0.0,0.0,0.07862003282151417,0.0,0.0,0.0712707887624627
mentalhealth,OriginalSelfie,2018/02/12,"Undiagnosed Mental Illness Hi everyone, I am working with a team producing a documentary here in Los Angeles on mental illness. As someone with family who has gratefully been diagnosed / in treatment, I am familiar with the battles one must overcome. Our focus is to share the stories of those who are perhaps not diagnosed yet / seeking assistance. If you or your family are interested in sharing your story and speaking with a certified expert, please reach out to me at UndiagnosedCasting@gmail.com as I would love the opportunity to tell you more about the project.  I truly hope to hear from you!",9.557941176470589,10.532174009803922,9.781176470588235,55.215294117647105,58.90196078431373,13.07450980392157,43.470588235294116,12.45797560212912,6.255929411764706,487,27,68,16,6,162,75,102,0.068,0.6990000000000001,0.233,0.9538,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,5,0,4,3,7,1,0,7,0,9,5,0,1,1,13,12,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,11,6,19,9,1,7,1,0,0,1,16,6,0,3,1,57,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550177301370398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418618604432388,0.0,0.0,0.4226198192212479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25263482137349824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226328312084303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230531207570496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517836065379878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151890731252129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460508310784175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18992268070877466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959181280524416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318482601082748,0.0,0.0,0.15923066204487987,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yashkawitcher,2018/02/12,"Hello I need your help. I never had met any friends in the my town of origin, my parents divorced when I was 5, I lived with my grandma and and grandpa in a small village and was the only child there, to kindergarden I went only for one year because I hated it there and didn't have any friends there. My mom found a douchy boyfriend and sent me to school, where I didn't know anyone and was 14 km away from where I lived, had 2 friends in school and 2 girls as friends at home. And I was okay with that for that time, but when I went to high school I have become very close with 3 guys there and we became very close but over the course of time (now I am in 3rd year of HS) the friends started to get closer between each other, while I started to get more distant from them. Now I feel extremly lonely, and probably have depression, live with my mom and her douchy boyfriend that I hate for his anger issues and how stupid he can be and just want to end it all, I feel like my life has no goal and that I will end up lonely, sad and unloved by everyone",7.155616438356162,4.864059105022832,6.582963470319639,86.87225342465756,65.25570776255708,9.67324200913242,32.402283105022825,7.1686216300943375,1.7536206392694058,820,23,190,5,10,253,122,219,0.168,0.746,0.086,-0.9783,1,4,0,0,1,0,17.0,1,1,1,1,12,16,4,0,6,1,16,1,0,2,2,36,32,22,0,2,3,4,2,1,5,1,1,0,1,3,7,23,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,9,0,1,13,2,29,7,29,17,3,35,0,4,0,0,23,17,0,0,16,123,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449128217684854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942533042501122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672229839711267,0.0,0.0,0.0692438990660425,0.1254521172999383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978355919925152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20121547146207167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854087988801088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148698458197074,0.08114929220614324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245464522311934,0.43879986228773626,0.0,0.11869301233537773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124727534777564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429480194736606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613752071544833,0.12001491971022205,0.113940836821337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855928629050926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242653455452405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023254328620145,0.055494728547694286,0.0,0.30090827981749074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660723507176981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422614096126615,0.0876082297586841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697206772022065,0.17278184823125536,0.0,0.0,0.1261291439275762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247009751185332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448798702259613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608003097197996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247142115398247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744861697776846,0.06699879851883117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059962439856225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146297505545604
mentalhealth,selfharmaway,2018/02/12,"Valentine’s Day I keep thinking about it and freaking out, my moods been getting lower again for weeks. Last year I was with someone and happy and they left and it’s coming around again and I’m alone and all I can do is freak out about it, even though I freak out about it every single fucking day and I breakdown over and over and over and over again, Valentine’s Day just reminds be about how fucking alone I am and I can’t deal with it. I keep thinking about hurting myself or dying, when New Years passed I was incredibly low again, I had all these holidays spent with someone and now it’s just a fucking toxic memory. I can’t keep dealing with this pain. ",3.812105263157896,5.184526639097747,4.058654135338347,89.65279323308273,72.0827067669173,6.222255639097745,26.08195488721805,6.2581,0.8122938345864665,525,17,107,3,10,163,72,133,0.179,0.774,0.047,-0.9379,1,2,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,1,0,17,11,3,0,1,0,11,4,0,1,2,32,23,16,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,21,0,3,2,1,1,2,2,9,0,0,5,0,14,1,18,17,3,26,0,2,0,3,3,10,3,1,14,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30847997345766204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325736207305743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282845365029494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881302992324101,0.30706748458750405,0.0,0.0,0.1545592350362261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836266524146486,0.0,0.12547459680848708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413032539689999,0.07780645969654991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853199295488568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942584573350524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971105440014913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139265002753954,0.0,0.0,0.16180597974059824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383138763496375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584652618046077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25236504804210896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908485212536584,0.1463167284347326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194575678173398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180389384299132
mentalhealth,jenapeno,2018/02/12,"I don't feel sad about dying anymore Okay so I've had depression, body dysmorphic disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder for a few years now, I've had therapy twice and it's not helped at all because they literally don't take me seriously, they won't put me on meds, I went to the doctor recently and they said 'Leave it me' which filled me confidence (not!). I tried to kill myself 2 years ago but yet again was taken to see someone that didn't take me seriously. 
My family don't give a shit, my parent keep telling me one thing then telling me another, like my dad is saying to bring me driving test forward and 'maybe' buy me a car but mum's like 'we aren't buying you car, it's unfair on your brother and sister (even though they're on a higher paying jobs) and all my parents care about is bike riding, work and their new house, my older sister lives miles away and is having a baby and it's ONLY thing she talks about, my brother doesn't care about anything but his job and his car and my younger sister doesn't talk to me anymore because she's at uni, she was my best friend tbh, I'm trying to move out but the places that I can afford won't accept an 'apprentice' but home is stressing me out.
 I have no friends (I'm not even joking with that, I literally don't have any friends) there was a massive fall out last year where i got blamed for a lot of stuff and no one was listening to my side, all my friends rn are actually my boyfriends, no one even messages me anymore and my boyfriend is driving me crazy! He only knows about my anxiety and he's nice and supportive of it and I love him so so much but all I can think about recently it breaking up even when I don't want to, I hardly get any attention from him now, we only see each other at weekends because of my job but he's always on his phone when he's here, he also hates my parents so he doesn't really want to come to mine so what's the point. I don't really wanna talk to him as I want him to feel like he can be himself. We don't even text that much anymore and I hate it.
I've been sat in the bath for over an hour because I don't wanna go back to my room where my boyf is.
I hate my body, no matter what I do it never gets better, my hair is shit, I can't shave unless I get rashes and cuts (I've tried waxing and stuff but nothing ever works) I'm fat and hardly have any boobs (I've 20) which looks weird to me, im sooooo pale and I get dry skin a lot but I can't use normal lotion as my skin is really sensitive and I'm poor so I can't afford the expensive stuff and alot of other stuff which im not gonna get into because its the wrong place. 
I've put on weight which makes things 10x worse, I've tried losing weight healthily (including exercise) but it feels like I'm not getting anywhere with it, that's why I hardly eat, it makes a small difference but it's not enough, my boyfriend and parents say I don't need to lose weight but I clearly do. 
I find myself getting really frustrated a lot even when it's something small, like I've found my perfect job and I love it but because of all this I can't concentrate properly and when I am actually doing work I get frustrated with it and it's making scared that they're gonna get rid of me as I'm only an apprentice and they're gonna keep with other apprentice. 
I've now spent all my savings thinking it would make me feel better but it just made me feel worse and that I'm gonna have to lie when my parents ask how much I've saved.
I've been thinking about suicide for a while but it made me sad to think about it but for this past week I've not been sad about it. 
I'm not expecting a response and hardly anyone has replied to my previous posts and I just needed to get all of this out.
I'm also very sorry for this long ass post ",2.861461432625333,3.7533317468827927,4.265850890016342,89.10698254364092,73.8004987531172,7.476171639865853,24.301401668243194,7.8135999917188395,1.0209000945911084,2959,84,666,39,58,983,311,802,0.142,0.74,0.118,-0.9436,14,0,1,0,0,2,55.0,3,2,4,9,43,45,9,2,23,1,53,20,11,8,11,124,126,68,3,10,27,12,15,5,5,7,3,4,3,0,49,45,6,2,14,5,6,16,33,21,0,4,19,22,97,24,69,99,18,75,0,6,3,4,60,28,4,4,35,408,146,13,0.0,0.0,0.09568804737526812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04346015313354951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841496763312758,0.04079502578499546,0.0,0.0,0.10002167884000587,0.05140988360514715,0.07501220796461433,0.0,0.1944894642872535,0.03428135136858579,0.0,0.040345670955853334,0.0,0.04583433951070298,0.0,0.0460631965978247,0.03769932292332597,0.0,0.17932121311765187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051451611785562165,0.0867221431519262,0.0,0.1089175828463054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997414243500513,0.0,0.0,0.04223307602661799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222753984782732,0.0,0.05088307680599353,0.05122357660038823,0.11238012637687098,0.0501819922218932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033528130168656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065878442676952,0.0,0.1942942477355274,0.04434841791363546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462190109591397,0.0,0.12394954875002365,0.07005088639970726,0.0,0.0,0.044810486550535794,0.0,0.0,0.053756410804981836,0.15151491020890714,0.0,0.25614982267569186,0.04703189707845474,0.027863607173460446,0.0,0.03921198030113045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567698003036625,0.1452142951353154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032862275624318184,0.0,0.0491788430894954,0.0,0.04828246999763219,0.056571455127517566,0.0,0.0,0.10591679303046862,0.0,0.19460995599149966,0.08715625568480485,0.054241954943225305,0.0,0.026944375986037945,0.039964169941619096,0.0,0.051913321250161286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976244091574567,0.0,0.04329241236156799,0.043388026842263,0.041170972393959615,0.10969905044733208,0.0,0.1250449508332571,0.08849893933653058,0.0927825083036891,0.13090564823000972,0.0,0.049254977032731385,0.0,0.0544587914231527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210875234358588,0.1081231395424028,0.07270692906815927,0.037813232769271406,0.047351318363002604,0.0,0.0,0.04803679749708119,0.047043460235104514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966744179584287,0.1491512900892912,0.0,0.0,0.27219764007670844,0.0,0.04680254674436813,0.0,0.0,0.10244715320077646,0.0,0.04634708256860836,0.0,0.09391008756059296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857288538712612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563375988720055,0.0,0.09681800108154466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046636629213898266,0.07797768885928269,0.04908534304774236,0.0,0.07813755785149533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006525869536322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04154106391528509,0.03774396671609435,0.0,0.0548825659587215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616113609362669,0.0,0.2245002322824659,0.053628414453677165,0.055636123679017664,0.0,0.0,0.07372555137337634,0.11821997465010567,0.08570485051302744,0.0,0.05606751902835299,0.0,0.09771560028670484,0.12566004176954032,0.04816952755492871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314652940225274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423442451574399,0.0,0.0404530385192252,0.08675353345110667,0.0,0.03932711362657957,0.17910781906050216,0.0,0.045449226861672735,0.044239929716016736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070783846672074,0.0,0.0999269567323689,0.0348279156791299,0.0536041615932721,0.0,0.0947168144932984
mentalhealth,Freyja565,2018/02/12,"Dying grandmother accidentally hurting pets, thinks we are trying to kill her My 97 year old grandmother has entered the stage of delirium and hallucinations. She is seeing bugs and thinks we are trying to murder her. She's currently trying to go outside in the pouring rain. When she opened the door the cat tried to run out and she grabbed him and pulled him up by his front leg. I grabbed him from her. She doesn't understand that she hurt him.

She's seeing things that aren't there. She's very anxious and agitated. She doesn't know what a television is anymore. She asked us about her oxygen tube because she didn't know what it was. I know this all happens with a dying person. How do we help her? How do we control her unrelenting restlessness?",3.164778554778554,5.848574335664343,3.8063216783216802,84.75307226107228,78.37062937062937,6.890256410256409,24.91794871794872,8.021203637495839,1.6188334731934737,602,22,113,11,15,190,88,143,0.171,0.8109999999999999,0.018000000000000002,-0.973,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,5,0,0,1,5,5,2,1,6,0,12,1,1,3,1,22,23,8,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,12,0,1,6,0,0,5,4,5,0,0,2,4,30,0,12,21,1,14,0,2,2,0,30,4,0,0,4,77,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663181877401944,0.1638365035086547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444205070092956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070591970896066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852886678789372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429082566382559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388839629268524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460880383077023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107317633961696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537054179308176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277210591205167,0.0,0.2723729452566136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335224929931314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424846382430687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632900310154893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975321018299666,0.21171020188389988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4486466536687776,0.0,0.0,0.17198164415673933,0.19871828453652404,0.0,0.0,0.13630937617272568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638500319750163
mentalhealth,Casa_De_Lobos,2018/02/12,"I feel lost... It seems like everything thing I do is wrong. Everything I say is wrong. Just my presence feels wrong and unnatural. I'm a college student that's barely making it by and I just feel so lost and alone.
Iv'e tried counseling and I hate it. I'm on 20mg of Lexapro a day. Sometimes I take two because I forget if I've already taken one.

I changed my major to my dream degree which made be realize my failure as an artist. I have no friends. I'm starting to hate people in general. The way they look at me and how just happy everyone is. It drives me nuts. Everyone is moving on with their lives. Finding love, getting their dream job and experiencing life while I sit here trying to push myself along wondering when is it my time.
I don't know what to do. I dream of just skipping town, dropping all my classes and taking a Greyhound or plane somewhere at starting life all over with what little I have. My family disgusts me, what friends I do have I'm envious of, even the noises my cat makes drives me in a rage.
I don't know what I want or what I need.",1.4111240232418325,3.6884501244239662,3.043482268082549,90.04671408535364,82.3179723502304,5.985894610298537,24.181326387497496,7.255503002510835,1.0631408134642362,835,32,174,12,23,275,125,217,0.183,0.718,0.099,-0.9522,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,2,10,15,5,0,7,0,14,3,0,4,2,36,42,15,0,3,7,0,3,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,13,10,0,0,9,4,0,4,3,10,0,2,4,6,33,5,19,37,3,22,0,2,1,1,7,9,0,5,7,111,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923497720781207,0.13769839637417344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606504112579883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200123497004596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047310653980197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241635045605339,0.0,0.0,0.2384662505685153,0.22428935416982526,0.0,0.11763196026654485,0.0,0.18927832626936425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404712615112356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928102260046179,0.0,0.06519266669273258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283117387875149,0.0,0.2463898417701333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382540287861366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371522107298445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627232975057092,0.060961454600055975,0.125062852694864,0.11018347699523404,0.0,0.10478420217738507,0.0,0.2724253350334188,0.0,0.1126192826245183,0.11807033625036567,0.1665839196004447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326219353901556,0.0,0.09252316756420052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455450336631337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650709475818208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923047039757417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359549047407927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234111156693616,0.0,0.17664057536985256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763882977610868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289862671811989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276051922249581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943555185679451,0.0,0.12189242759474266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359877813716635,0.09904496130499096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531914102751014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4092837000927422,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ula97,2018/02/12,"How do I overcome low-self esteem problems? Hi,
for a long time (more than 10 years) I have been having low self-esteem problems which affected my life a lot but recently they started to affect it too much. 

Everyday I think how ugly I am and feel hopeless when there isn't anything I could do to correct my looks (e.g. like you can lose weight). All of my friends are prettier than me and get more attention from guys than I do (also all of them have boyfriends). I haven't ever had a real boyfriend and I don't think I will ever be able to love somebody when I don't even love myself. I don't think I will ever be able to love myself the way I am and accept my flaws. I want to know how it feels to be in love, how it feels to love somebody and be loved back... 

Everyday I question myself if I am capable enough to be a doctor one day (I am halfway through med school). 
This year I have been feeling such deep sadness and it has started to affect my life too much. This year I haven't passed any of the exams because I don't have motivation or will to learn. I am scared that I will have to repeat this year. I am also noticing that I am slower at remembering things. 

There is a lot of competition in my field and I have met a lot of people (men professors/doctors) who think women as doctors aren't supposed to be or can't be successful. This makes me sad. So every time I do sth wrong or fail an exam I feel less worthy and nothing (except passing this exam with a great grade) can make me feel better. This is the only thing that makes me feel worthy and I don't know why and how to change that. 

Thinking how I will pass exams this year makes me sick in my stomach because nothing is going according to my plans. I don't want to have exams during summer (like every year) but there's just no way around it.

I don't have a lot of friends since I don't have time for anything else than learning. That few friends I have make me feel like I am worth less because they are much smarter, more successful and prettier than me. They probably don't know I am having this issues, because I am trying to hide them because I am ashamed of them. I am sure they would be very supportive and try to help if they knew but I don't want that. I don't want others to see me as a weak person I really am.

I feel like such a failure, because I am not great or one of the best at anything - that would give me reassurance and motivation to improve even more. I hate myself for always needing to be one of the best. 

I am scared I won't graduate or get a job or stay alone till the end of my life. I am also constantly scared that something bad is going to happen to someone I really care about (e.g. an accident, death) and this kind of thoughts take a lot of energy I don't have.",4.250427574171031,4.464146568935426,5.259384816753926,85.70471422338571,70.22164048865619,8.111867364746946,27.78403141361257,7.8897218956490685,1.5160397905759155,2156,68,465,25,36,711,223,573,0.14800000000000002,0.637,0.214,0.9941,2,1,1,0,0,1,59.0,0,1,8,10,28,42,1,4,20,0,80,15,1,16,7,94,130,40,1,12,14,0,10,4,3,8,7,0,0,4,27,16,1,0,27,0,1,5,20,16,0,3,6,12,80,26,56,106,20,43,0,6,2,6,29,8,0,14,31,339,107,18,0.11941604202459888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061839502771766815,0.0,0.14324544849486612,0.049681856592070174,0.0,0.0,0.04060350176364706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740384152007066,0.05315279753650978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04591178260227278,0.04985370353956621,0.2183847325156979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531976872049674,0.05280689246451786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060876306753040024,0.0,0.063163169229958,0.0,0.0,0.06452315905122524,0.0,0.047671996292432815,0.0,0.0,0.0385067340315974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183341068654708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498783899898612,0.0,0.052883584337340916,0.06169434666579024,0.0,0.07887316951773234,0.16202797006301814,0.1006131657773849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717115250420501,0.08531084428282687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839080676585758,0.0,0.06238995324247884,0.057277374408823474,0.06786688862634792,0.0,0.0,0.13165660790778247,0.0,0.05912032808386757,0.05279960579240885,0.0,0.0,0.058949309359874726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040021027893478035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062319661305974,0.05925099775592563,0.0,0.0,0.06217671576648801,0.09844190054613336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652062305084655,0.11668129239189333,0.0,0.0,0.052839719694037716,0.050139699800976816,0.06679800279247733,0.0,0.2538081214280994,0.3233329207222845,0.0,0.19927783833045726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632215113484906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167679661096812,0.0442727410230329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458291299106615,0.0679779776646016,0.0,0.0,0.12137910088099033,0.045410640526325416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041394023828966335,0.05213474090220837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437534533015554,0.1142650247287943,0.0,0.0,0.0668866483563203,0.0,0.0,0.0679607996613487,0.07650097434347253,0.0,0.05895446752031917,0.0,0.06763754842385784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793344355453832,0.06042770492355405,0.0475795623232624,0.0,0.12457697550270205,0.0,0.0,0.049391091987038484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059041244386958,0.045966151645247165,0.0,0.0,0.0845232891760063,0.06364080599412622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775595467269645,0.0562741031886885,0.0,0.0448930010463504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933471212623006,0.19129244480230398,0.0,0.04740149923309884,0.10444868163437264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107565385983383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926537046496589,0.14086935109814308,0.0947868957998978,0.0,0.07270828415846704,0.0,0.0,0.05387720197502143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848297300406492,0.06528134785478225,0.0,0.23070004756533524
mentalhealth,sleepyandsuicidal,2018/02/12,"I am stupid and ugly and have a very boring future ahead - and I know this. I am stupid - growing up I was your typical gifted and talented student who was actually just average and so grew up not knowing how to ask for help etc. I scraped through all academic achievements of my life and am only a medical student by circumstance (I got in with the help of a program that lowered entry requirements based on household income and if your parents were in a professional job or not). I scrape by my medical exams and honestly don't think I would make a good doctor, heck I'm just expecting to fail my exams sooner or later I mean, how long can you scrape by everything? All my peers excelled or at least don't scrape by.

I'm ugly - I turned 20 a few weeks back and have never had a single romantic event occur to me in my whole life. No one telling me they had a crush on me, nothing from a kiss to holding hands. I don't think I even know what a compliment is because I've never recieved one and it sounds like a foreign concept - someone looks at you and thinks you're pretty???? Sounds fake. You're laugh is music to their ears and not the most obnoxious thing in the world? A fairytale. (compliments from friends and families never count let's be honest here). Being surrounded by hot/beautiful friends who never lack in male attention since they went through puberty doesn't help in that regards. Constantly being the friend is painful, especially when a boy you like is pinning after one of your best friends. At this point I cringe whenever I hear something along the lines of 'you're pretty!' or 'wow you look great today!' because I know it's pity, I know it's just friends being kind and your mother being your mother. 

My life is a plateau. I don't think I can look at any point in my life and say I have made a difference. I don't think I can point at any time in my life and say I was truly happy for longer than a day. I don't think there's been anything in my life that was well interesting, or worth living for etc. Hence I know my future will just be the same. Why would my life all of a sudden peak at this point anyway? 20s and your teens are meant to be the best time of your life right, so if this is the best I dread to see the rest. There is honestly no point in living such a mediocre life. 

Mostly I'm bitter. I'm bitter I didn't get to fall in love or feel like everything was worth it or feel pride in myself or heck LIVE. I'm bitter I am who I am and I'm bitter my future will just be the same old because having 'hope' is fine and all but if the statistics of your life prove otherwise then it's just meaningless. 

Now what I want to ask - what do you guys think is the point in a life so monotone and meaningless? No tragic events, nothing to fix just a boring fate and day to day life alongside a self loathing mindset which only gets worse by the day. So yeah! Thanks. ",3.6567871198568866,4.850287591452993,4.501113098787516,87.02320214669052,72.23076923076924,7.698270721526535,26.08328364142318,8.133680483312611,1.4601763068972369,2271,73,474,33,43,733,257,585,0.108,0.75,0.142,0.887,4,0,1,0,0,1,53.0,0,13,3,10,23,46,6,1,34,1,53,24,2,4,9,88,94,41,0,9,22,3,3,3,5,4,20,6,0,4,20,23,0,2,19,0,2,4,18,14,1,3,14,17,61,32,59,67,19,64,0,3,4,2,41,32,2,14,31,316,81,13,0.0,0.0,0.058440401411538424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144949094623248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928133179750359,0.0,0.1119712345653124,0.0,0.0,0.04604887705445684,0.0,0.10951841910934636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854096797858091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471582783126244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544868668289886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062568449464151,0.0,0.06129617751686137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357813531793625,0.03955434400664714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764391073822872,0.0,0.05645548482567411,0.0,0.060560637048615584,0.04278279296867614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23134007891591496,0.0,0.06257625218311598,0.0,0.0,0.050229796878322484,0.04789655410047978,0.06602486994974778,0.0,0.0592968637906558,0.0,0.06375009227335901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749622557110471,0.0,0.12042159693676505,0.0,0.0,0.05948061994416036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942792364767493,0.0,0.0,0.06236237797133973,0.19747170413860415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123781102671452,0.5075936751306449,0.08777228061130833,0.0,0.1586421309170408,0.0529975012484541,0.15086825695817738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054049734331385116,0.05666587602077501,0.0399745780138926,0.0,0.0,0.06523374959980786,0.0,0.12065831714307353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475206150149265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492506223458925,0.0,0.06284061005608325,0.0,0.12174154381826476,0.09109247709573264,0.06372325783503249,0.0,0.06649666195808597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33967152853783666,0.0,0.0,0.12185181681769568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05114258288811431,0.0,0.09524799728034496,0.0,0.0,0.04772163683359827,0.0,0.062474483711900425,0.0,0.0,0.04953857579870823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074147747525468,0.046103408445607216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234327592927522,0.055135269736137166,0.0,0.0,0.03978580440340652,0.2686091125635445,0.0,0.0,0.06984037976696104,0.0,0.056765221068588126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513911022710492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941247886705186,0.03532249817903163,0.0,0.048037186874157436,0.0,0.053844986179990034,0.05551521082301293,0.05403808149377072,0.06686092823133122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610292677451211,0.08508303506845853,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Simon_ADML,2018/02/12,"Today I’m launching The Dark Wing Project to help people who are struggling with anxiety I've been working on a website where people can describe their experience with anxiety through storytelling, poetry, and art. I hope a vast range of collected experiences will provide insight, inspiration, and understanding. If your interested in telling your story, or hearing from others who struggle with anxiety visit https://adarkmothlands.com. 

“A dark moth lands and on its wings a mask of death embitters dreams” 
",9.742222222222225,12.495661925925925,8.613271604938273,57.35472222222225,59.37037037037037,11.819753086419757,43.12962962962963,11.538034831475384,6.191088888888888,420,24,53,13,6,130,64,81,0.154,0.6890000000000001,0.157,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,1,5,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,8,5,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,3,11,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,1,34,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964447411548765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42319821755407816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24380449052419995,0.0,0.14499243397617656,0.0,0.0,0.21485115825139964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29993333919380705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4522820828673734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890702126278273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504281069081706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251931733110365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748103587047135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A636260,2018/02/12,"How do you make time for a psychologist and work normal business hours? Sorry if this is a repost but I work 8:30 to 5:30pm, the normal business hours for all psychologists I can find. Does anyone have advice for those of us that work during the day? I hate to bring up laws with my employer but is there anything protecting me if I need to take off time for those 1+ hour meetings?

I haven’t been to one since I was young so maybe it’s changed, but I remember the appointments being rather lengthy since it’s just conversation. Maybe I should go back to school and open a nighttime office, I’m sure there’s a market for it! :-P",4.26047619047619,5.418560920634924,4.6668253968253985,86.53928571428574,70.74603174603175,7.822222222222222,25.11111111111111,8.167268648758528,1.2828634920634925,500,14,104,7,9,158,85,126,0.052000000000000005,0.879,0.069,0.4463,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,3,7,2,1,0,7,0,10,0,0,2,2,22,17,9,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,12,1,14,13,1,13,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,8,66,19,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348486043737128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982547502133658,0.0,0.1292534366612376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077546195658735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615693205544674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129575301821098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745111183417194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355714622905855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926526439203948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550719590140289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640405052018348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484399262197093,0.0,0.3155914824724078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164638017970676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307786239048623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643322294679047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792722681384382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589610240216921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598562553299586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17582457039105567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803456593449868,0.0,0.11809545682336725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831750233475419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893325383242646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430417410957096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Minimintyminttea,2018/02/12,"Not sure if it was a dream or if it was reality. Is it possible to find out? A long time ago I was sleeping at my friends house. And in the middle of the night I felt her brother touching my privates. I was not completely awake and I'm not sure if it was even real or not. I never talked to him and didn't think he was attractive but dreams can be weird sometimes. A part of me thinks it real and another part of me says it was just a dream.


I'm not sure my age but I was around 17 or 18

So how can I tell if is this the real life or is it just fantasy?


Its not like I can go and ask him like yooo did I dream that?",-1.2428571428571438,0.5572923571428596,1.5610714285714309,99.45517857142859,89.71428571428572,5.214285714285714,17.32142857142857,6.6274283507984215,-0.3672857142857144,470,12,124,6,16,163,75,140,0.091,0.805,0.104,0.4224,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,7,0,17,2,1,1,4,37,24,17,0,4,18,1,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,4,5,0,1,8,1,0,0,11,3,16,7,9,12,2,12,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,8,8,88,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298971148119507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731618724215812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355566493190724,0.1402548115449241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730025178452794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909129047245517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404926117175276,0.0,0.13712178278284434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159103382117791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526369125844857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311079121974265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059683699467142,0.1465910385978235,0.0,0.0,0.13276900230332064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570992170008405,0.0,0.0,0.14078999440174372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249288219356766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913268190162478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5122900510650092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930733782160788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013515363469607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838034737831896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241954676787968,0.0,0.0,0.1205858638043236,0.13113004120397098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226223902494124,0.0,0.0,0.08748183710279094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Iwantafedora,2018/02/12,"Everything is starting to feel monotonous. Let me elaborate. I’m a 16 year old male who has high functioning autism, with adhd and anxiety to boot. I don’t have a lot of friends in school, but I don’t really care because they are good friends. I have a decent family, wonderful pets, but stuff is feeling the same. 

I think this started with the beginning of the year. I found out that my dog, Shirley, who just turned 10, has an inoperable tumor on her heart or spleen. And this is the dog that got me through middle school when I had no friends whatsoever, and I was just discovering who I am. And I reacted accordingly. I spent the rest of my winter break just watching tv with her on the couch, and then pausing to cry.  

Going back to school helped, and I thought I was doing ok. The only thing that was different was that I kept on diverting attention by saying I don’t want to talk about it because it makes me sad. But now about a month into it, I just feel like everything is the same. I’m not in any classes with my friend, so I just go through the day keeping relatively quiet. I find stuff that I used to love doing boring. I don’t think I really had any contact with people outside of my family because my best friend was on a cruise and I couldn’t contact him. So I guess my question is, should I be concerned? I mean, my friend is back now, so I’m hoping everything will be the same, but I don’t know.",3.9400526315789466,4.899581628070177,5.121184210526316,83.7270394736842,71.31578947368422,8.787719298245614,28.285087719298247,9.120678840339163,2.1482666666666668,1104,40,233,22,20,366,146,285,0.062,0.735,0.203,0.9932,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,1,15,15,0,0,16,1,32,2,1,3,0,52,62,17,0,4,11,0,3,1,6,2,0,2,2,1,16,14,0,2,13,2,1,3,8,2,0,0,12,6,39,13,28,44,6,29,0,1,1,1,21,10,0,6,16,165,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251938458086326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865366910054538,0.0,0.07798847696505769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567804951850517,0.0,0.1864361638997397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698612797656333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394082931236756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198298875853673,0.06574679186094233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651196204361148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748677064790924,0.0,0.19221139434983686,0.0,0.15464101308012015,0.07283030440781843,0.0,0.0,0.0931768759503267,0.0,0.0,0.11177862162826044,0.4725797602277348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587662036216448,0.08550754037188596,0.08153559814987994,0.0,0.11230510754019024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080660309239633,0.06833231270183403,0.1077116373827554,0.0,0.1012554664224626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906143656248798,0.0,0.0,0.05602690289869214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424678027938684,0.0,0.049805708260408685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667091692822948,0.0920103231081386,0.0,0.06804980421585534,0.0,0.0,0.11104917447759663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137239344584747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697526837269454,0.0,0.0,0.07753459248209674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067658001680277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114202948090859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306185466986728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107161962569318,0.0,0.3095246458697294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443159291644188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23340775680500545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194040250229442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772844979829942,0.13064587137063044,0.0,0.08093380501752936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088806731640763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804868641172618,0.0,0.0,0.06013044301962715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055618184115776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129987426044654
mentalhealth,theforerunner343,2018/02/12,"Is it possible to have PTSD from a forgotten event? Hi there. My wife has severe anxiety. She seems to think it's a personality trait that she was born with since she's been a worrier ever since she was little, but I wonder if she had a traumatizing event at an early age and does not remember? She fits many signs and symptoms of having PTSD. She startles very easily and it usually leads to an episode of crying. She regularly has nightmares of loved ones dying and wakes up screaming and/or crying. She says that she has had intense fear of her parents dying ever since she was little. She avoids car rides for fear of death/injury. She has flashbacks, but only to her miscarriage of our first child. She says she just has an anxious personality. Is that a thing? I've always bought that until just recently when I was reading about someone who has PTSD and the similarities made me wonder if that is actually what she has. Came here first to get some general input before spending the big bucks on trying to get a diagnosis and treatment. Thanks for any and all feedback. 

28 years old, USA",4.967839805825243,6.819164169902912,5.641929611650486,77.54454490291262,69.92233009708738,8.450970873786408,27.43810679611651,9.017664075816787,2.287068932038836,873,30,156,17,16,283,126,206,0.165,0.773,0.062,-0.9661,1,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,3,8,7,0,4,11,0,19,3,1,2,3,30,30,13,2,2,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,11,9,0,1,5,1,3,4,1,5,0,3,10,3,23,2,21,20,2,26,0,0,0,1,29,7,0,6,15,109,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.10910767591583613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303252756055083,0.0,0.0,0.07603271407301426,0.0,0.08553218401705846,0.1263102848333094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513967224081968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787762418058862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456298667190741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320763943265023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978432136381662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20227198450918085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516283156870838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19020625448230008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168292701335728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22412032736792872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091034206348662,0.10579465381873583,0.0,0.1133549281728825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732282377853145,0.0,0.07576343641035875,0.08503439597669837,0.0,0.0,0.12414863805119712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952514278872997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604579220253126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920898184956889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183743314155656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103960983067834,0.0,0.12665573550395468,0.0,0.0,0.17782710877897004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178505433059186,0.0,0.1263102848333094,0.0,0.27746415543153885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473385784731632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621046661973967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102937026382487,0.0,0.0,0.07427971998906653,0.07164152414560136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590973364921083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313980895075782,0.0922526300334403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425002271476091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720001559441458
mentalhealth,hocuspocuskrokus,2018/02/12,"Mother with mental health problem Hello all. Thank you for reading. My mother is 54 years old. For the past 8,9 years she goes through certain episodes where I believe she hears voices but won’t actually tell me if she really does. One example of why I think she may hear voices is because I told her “mom don’t listen to the voices if you Are hearing any, they are not real.” And her response is, “no they are not real.” I can tell she’s about to go through these episodes whenever she starts randomly saying she believes in god. Earlier this week she called the cops on my dad for no apparent reason. Whenever I look at her in her eyes, I can tell her pupils are very shrunken. She will laugh at noncomical situations. My mother knows I’m not a very emotional or lovey type person. I don’t go around hugging people but the love is there. Well when she goes through an episode, she gives me a hug and kisses me on the cheek and tells me she loves me. I know that sounds weird but I’m not one to be touchy feely and she knows that when she’s normal. One of the time (similar situation happened before) ls in the past, she jumped in her car and took off and no one knew where she was. Long story short, we get a call from campus police at a college about 40 mins away where she just parked her car and just wonder around campus. I think when she goes through these episodes she doesn’t sleep. This mornings when she was making breakfast, she was humming....my mom doesn’t just do that when she is mentally stable. Like I stated above, she gets really, really, religious whenever she is having an Episode. I believe something triggers her to go down this road. Usually drastic/stressful situations. Just recently, her parents in El Salvador need money for medicines and it’s putting pressure on her. She’s seen doctors before but they just gave her anti anxiety medicine. I’m here to seek help. Idk what to do. I live in Houston and we are not wealthy people. I want my mom to get the correct help instead of just doping her up on whatever medication is available...or at least get her the correct treatment and medication. Where should I first start off? What doctor should I see? Is there anyone that I can take her to that won’t be so expensive? Please help. Idk what to do. If there is anymore info that I need to explain, I am here. Sorry for the formatting, I am at school and typing on my cellphone instead of a computer.",3.4239024390243884,5.480123348195335,4.0473564289783015,86.5060882398633,74.54140127388536,6.973041271813992,26.77442908187044,7.8500785054351265,1.5960794469473358,1911,72,372,28,41,605,225,471,0.063,0.82,0.117,0.9878,2,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,2,2,3,1,28,13,0,1,17,0,38,14,3,3,4,62,78,25,0,10,19,8,0,1,0,6,5,9,0,1,15,16,1,0,10,1,2,8,14,3,1,5,8,13,75,10,50,62,2,57,0,0,4,5,77,29,0,7,20,253,90,10,0.0,0.0,0.07495544675524939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223341074328342,0.0,0.058759413681364066,0.0,0.0761748467270328,0.05370731408341328,0.0,0.0,0.13675430863279922,0.0,0.0,0.07216549139986375,0.0,0.0,0.04682264229308162,0.0,0.13071924733250767,0.2596155860839709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686312612182138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723650964718686,0.06721691877916358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640087330753082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653345177628065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052014788962532,0.07368311829871542,0.1309586211353274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792279918348154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816454019640836,0.259711241869209,0.0,0.15445230319026618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663824552638248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037525469521323164,0.0,0.06782460712041917,0.06797440275975664,0.06450102627833322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864798618620106,0.0,0.0512712486826331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475591966775915,0.15481275947660442,0.0,0.0,0.2698767112287809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113907232930216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525745828973399,0.0,0.0,0.08059913839325802,0.0,0.20819368302673644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528837729401763,0.0,0.14664760737564275,0.10650071816768608,0.06706749953221544,0.0,0.08431427696692832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349676396130686,0.0,0.07721523079230172,0.0,0.0,0.07683075177544868,0.17485311408935847,0.14761929297640966,0.07897343763500098,0.07584057491064529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108236781619235,0.0,0.07773578618708825,0.06120759820872626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25901285967543225,0.07686543714660066,0.0,0.0,0.059132064351254364,0.0,0.08598246830927946,0.10873297841656657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798555643362775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775153524448255,0.0,0.26854118295891644,0.07071629686354937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843344940648917,0.0,0.0,0.044788508810236084,0.0,0.0,0.07339521404370176,0.08533869832876033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459532581722279,0.12675253212866974,0.045304507970030064,0.0,0.0616123215455355,0.0,0.06906138385720467,0.0,0.06930904720586742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329713153325577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892619946197148
mentalhealth,Lasanjas,2018/02/12,"[Academic] Research on Sexuality exploration and health (All welcome) HELLO FRIENDS!

This survey is part of my thesis research, where i’m exploring how you feel about your health and sexuality. It’s available in English and Swedish and takes about 10-15 minutes to complete. There are no right or wrong answers and it’s completely confidential.

**English:** https://sunet.artologik.net/lu/Survey/17232/en

**Swedish:** https://sunet.artologik.net/lu/Survey/17232/sv

*(If you have issues opening the links, try copying and pasting them directly into your web browser.)*

PLEASE feel free to share the survey with anyone/everyone, the more the merrier!
Thank you so much for supporting my project!",7.582920792079205,11.407213504950498,4.83890594059406,69.36469554455445,92.16831683168316,7.168514851485149,34.752970297029705,7.7348632917899725,4.110845148514852,568,30,68,13,20,158,78,101,0.046,0.746,0.208,0.9568,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,5,1,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,19,9,10,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,6,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,8,7,10,9,4,9,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,2,1,45,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527229637592277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062966346226879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183256910823164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679970708963784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589719337170431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253379721100035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870744320734714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23379291769827745,0.20609591695618495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369875449721524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843728913191387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449947433019687,0.0,0.0,0.16232594346187704,0.0,0.0,0.198766830317338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657832733211767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23604695908054005,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liz1414,2018/02/12,"Any advice on coping with major change? I moved 8 hours away because of an awesome job my fiancé got. I was excited about it until I got here. All the sudden I woke up the first morning, alone in the house, and I went into a massive panic attack. Since then I’ve been struggling with depression and extreme anxiety. I’ve hardly eaten in days, I can hardly move, I can’t be still my entire body is shaking. The anxiety is making me vomit every time I have a negative or intrusive thought.  I I don’t have a job yet. I don’t have friends yet. I don’t have anything. My fiancé tries to help but I don’t think he’s experienced a second of sadness or worry in his life so he cannot relate at all. My parents were my real support system but now they are 8 hours away. Now every small task feels huge, I can hardly brush my teeth let alone start looking for jobs etc. I don’t know what I can do, I feel like I’m about to break. ",0.9171761658031096,3.007420963730567,3.0916347150259083,90.08480958549221,82.88601036269431,5.31077720207254,20.530829015544047,6.508806274219699,0.3100862176165804,718,21,150,7,20,244,121,193,0.14400000000000002,0.759,0.097,-0.6858,4,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,1,9,10,1,3,9,0,23,5,2,1,2,18,38,9,0,0,4,1,5,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,5,0,0,4,8,6,0,2,9,8,26,4,19,27,4,31,0,2,1,0,7,11,0,2,15,99,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826727826094825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25069726455990193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230327191720921,0.0,0.185172361256725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959583060008706,0.0,0.0,0.137686958830791,0.2274198057221737,0.0,0.0,0.07377761868681436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344349576240942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803170333796834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805312507513021,0.0,0.10424134252085047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349783462799458,0.0,0.0,0.20394282221345936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239090804832535,0.08646251320104767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294645715249306,0.0,0.0,0.09350602538662474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359448758894685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252522698640514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112259775761957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383766381329848,0.13965020107970835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603052028412448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665138896628304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237594527355236,0.08548574047219679,0.059128226127403434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163313919544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807872099833002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572674761994872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200042200340038,0.13438740468828544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775649713165414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011571163885727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566432635396551,0.0,0.09665321307154673,0.0,0.0,0.12652486917854214,0.0,0.0,0.13734127647162184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754993247586148,0.0,0.0960828084083627,0.07057247012821552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217014907154742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121942798862631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290993083337842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bokonomy,2018/02/12,"(US) Which states/regions have the greatest concentration of psychiatric hospitals? Hi everyone, I hope this is a decent place for this! I'm an occupational therapy fieldwork student completing a mental health rotation at the moment. I love the field, but I'm concerned about finding a job in this niche setting. I've heard certain areas have more jobs than others, but I'm struggling to find info. If you have any info, let me know! Thanks. 🙂",3.915069444444441,6.962465812500002,4.839166666666667,76.2002777777778,78.375,7.555555555555558,30.13888888888889,8.515128840125781,3.013347222222221,355,17,56,8,9,115,63,80,0.046,0.778,0.17600000000000002,0.8602,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,0,5,2,0,0,1,10,13,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,4,7,11,2,6,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,2,1,34,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897748126714824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22969437961399164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933410186505816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004583905054868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23286486883717636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175894002662125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347932579621129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039705737600866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240174797678222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19772237224082312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077454493824206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22888516305432435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22902317111810155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016934303419236,0.25052962105654186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635184270867846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anonymousexpressions,2018/02/12,"Lost my way I do not know what to do anymore I feel like I never had a purpose in life and I have been feeling like this my whole life even as a kid. I use to try really hard to accomplish things in life but always ended up in failure could not even find a job no matter how hard i tried did not matter how many places I applied and this has inflicted on my positive attitude towards succeeding in life and I just feel so depressed that I am numb and do much in life because of my depression from all this and just do not have a lot of confidence to to take a chance on even trying knowing that the world is against me and does not want me to succeed at all even though I have tried my hardest and because of this I  just want to die and escape my misery and just be at peace which I have yet to find in my life to be happy and have a purpose. All of these issues are not helpful to my mental health and make it super hard since I have BPD, social anxiety, anxiety, depression which has gotten in my way my hole life and makes it harder to function as a normal person and have a normal life because these are holding me back. I feel so lost and hopeless that my life will go anywhere and that ill die alone and not have a chance to enjoy life to the fullest and just want to end myself due to all this because I can not cope nor do I know how to deal with these mental issues. People do not understand what it is like with all these mental issues and how much harder it is to do stuff like a normal person. ",10.602727272727273,5.333856840764335,10.048459756803704,73.86263752171398,61.802547770700635,12.946844238563983,39.05500868558194,9.095868883498916,3.355220382165605,1184,33,254,12,11,386,134,314,0.196,0.6459999999999999,0.158,-0.9412,1,1,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,6,18,16,0,0,12,0,31,13,0,7,6,69,50,29,2,7,15,0,7,4,0,1,13,0,0,3,23,20,0,1,10,0,0,1,12,7,0,0,6,7,31,9,40,40,9,24,0,6,0,0,6,15,0,1,10,195,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747539020428791,0.0,0.0,0.062243728571851474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445119649469655,0.0,0.07418643077333915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057520405447203965,0.0,0.18240166460973345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942142426029048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972568259814413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712064067177174,0.19328823634512365,0.0,0.15527149992771033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065462334432738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251000245129546,0.0,0.0,0.19763191200253796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129456438461325,0.10688137279924666,0.0,0.0,0.13674077701159426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251338903615693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963128287631872,0.20103168310818675,0.0,0.0,0.07951418638851616,0.0,0.0,0.05014019540014023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342308650943953,0.07423239135793216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333256762124965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5283696343167249,0.14618372160860546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633169254118315,0.06359651149600429,0.0,0.0,0.09986579834382496,0.07584049973147737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261574500746243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998052206141024,0.0,0.05769420539943484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198789676438231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051860348232601605,0.13063363104666306,0.07815527351784861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04792198006623311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061879445221845124,0.0,0.0,0.07625424776563057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563379513567433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05624402877791977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04969709896770661,0.0,0.07349550443637834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315066057504594,0.0,0.0,0.07787461319842565,0.0,0.06460747729516156,0.0,0.0,0.13236573049957004,0.11875340856885168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835170789484074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ayanith,2018/02/12,"Go to psychologist without my mom knowing Hello!
I have been depressed (the mood not the disorder) for a long time now. I suspect some mental disabilities from self diagnosis but I would like to see a psychologist because well yeah tests are just indicators no real diagnosis. Anyway I don’t want my mom to know. She really had a lot on her plate. I ran away from my dad, she has financial issues,... she’s realllyy stressed out.
Thanks anyway",2.147764227642277,5.037980646341467,4.34329268292683,76.09428861788619,90.09756097560977,7.611382113821138,25.1260162601626,8.344100000000001,2.5672894308943084,351,15,61,10,12,120,64,82,0.111,0.725,0.16399999999999998,0.685,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,13,14,1,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,2,1,0,3,1,12,3,10,10,2,8,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,2,4,44,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972123159799241,0.0,0.0,0.1279559183731354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079055616209302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24056889914090224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929364238895356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190859059582507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307161978893724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254880288320416,0.0,0.0,0.1857589983185379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845341600823642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153450387009867,0.0,0.0,0.4916755475787195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389174307342788,0.13447028529599792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726681914251262,0.0,0.2189763147584048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404450523438243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932519880549271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239708176878805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123807193269073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872947708194493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234057948075185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911023157604913,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,diamonddusty,2018/02/12,"What's wrong with me? Hi guys. Just a bit of background for you. I am 21 years old. I suffered from anorexia between the ages of 14-18, and I now consider myself recovered. However , it's become clear that by starving myself I had been numbing feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness. I am at university and have a good group of friends yet I still often find myself flitting between happiness, intense sadness and total numbness that leaves me unmotivated to do anything. I frequently have intrusive thoughts about self harm (eg: cutting, burning, head banging) although I've never gone through with it. 

I also have a tendency to form attachments to people very quickly and intensely to the point where the fear of rejection/abandonment heightens the numbness and thoughts of 'whats the point of eating well/working out/wearing makeup if I will never have anybody to do it for?

Again I apologize for the long ass  and probably largely incoherent post! I would consider myself stable, and these feelings are not constant. If it helps, I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 16, but I have reason to doubt this diagnosis. For example, I never exhibited any symptoms until I was 13-14, up until then I was socially 'normal' but I think with bullying I kind of retreated within myself. I desperately want interaction and have no problem understanding it.",6.300812596344419,8.613922225941426,7.040475666152831,66.99038097335391,67.32635983263599,10.219863466196873,38.93878000440432,10.426177893888326,4.981463598326358,1088,63,159,31,19,359,152,239,0.194,0.736,0.07,-0.9817,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,0,10,16,1,2,9,0,18,8,2,1,5,38,26,18,0,6,6,0,2,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,11,13,1,0,8,0,0,1,5,12,0,0,8,2,27,4,34,16,3,26,0,3,0,1,10,7,1,4,17,130,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584084816693913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850667087025647,0.0,0.11081402002421728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920368991941856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998145985604012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814463025852926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653727673948667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476378374245416,0.147025228932722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822328488911496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630026494333842,0.14648653225786631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323952537498547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119149585743276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149787583667206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342966609626792,0.0,0.1542013162897671,0.0,0.0,0.14866347882383435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709355231330888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084465648937126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533810022830615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819251174629862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33516435100146097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192758176780845,0.0,0.0,0.15200142370851874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042452754570708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27387043656918303,0.0,0.13873147592622062,0.0,0.1561786712759412,0.13860709906822133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893552455990258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111582241465296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766188554828727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568174662811713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056027298981564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928175210591231,0.0,0.2299980878935981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507996283245216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952091378578054,0.08543949537349567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024244277099764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545649021352396,0.0,0.0,0.10290115303070307,0.1583766908709144,0.0,0.0932821582218699
mentalhealth,Throwaway010496,2018/02/12,"What do i do? I'm depressed and I hate myself to the point where the only thing keeping me from being suicidal is my fear of death. My mind is ruled over by the negativity and fear that I have to scream in my own head to stop myself from actually screaming. I feel lost, like I have no purpose. No talent. No plan. Nothing. I'm scared. I am only 21 and i feel as though my life is ruined, like I am no longer in control. My depression and fear consumed me to the point where I forgot what optimism is like, where I feel like I forgot what happiness was. I feel like I forgot who I am. I am terrified of this path  that I feel like I am being forced down upon, a path where my fear of death may no longer keep me from killing myself. My family and friends do not know how I feel, they only see a false happy guy. It makes them happy to believe I am happy, who am I to stop them? I tried going to therapy but they only wanted me drugged up. I do not want to do medicine, I do not want to live in a fog again, I want happiness, I want a positive outlook, I want purpose, I want something to fucking live for I want to stop the tears to stop the pain to stop the fear to stop the screaming I want to love myself i want to be who i once was again. But i feel like that won't ever happen. I dont know where or how to begin changing myself. I have tried working out, cleaning, being more social, escapism, therapy, hobbies, but in the end my negative thoughts increase to the point where i give up. I am going back to sleep, in a few short hours i may wake up and hopefully the say will be easier after venting.",2.9128980099502506,3.75597589552239,4.542108208955226,87.35923196517416,73.6268656716418,7.374378109452738,25.301616915422894,7.6454224807358475,1.1511915422885577,1235,38,271,15,24,417,140,335,0.25,0.599,0.151,-0.9687,0,0,2,0,0,2,38.0,0,0,4,4,13,33,3,6,16,0,33,8,3,4,1,54,72,14,4,11,7,0,7,7,1,4,3,4,1,1,12,7,0,12,10,0,0,3,12,17,0,0,7,12,58,16,41,56,4,39,0,4,1,2,13,22,1,4,21,196,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.06520029534518504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05137542370939136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527588552774858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067977756665113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493697245030914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509266393455635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830487312688705,0.0,0.07748239738404399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591768909549534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060436596322647536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298578030921614,0.37591856765111614,0.23648023700585685,0.1909261859860424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161991056248291,0.06176796368744113,0.0,0.06409355534518245,0.07594325380962437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615582608627722,0.059082918708966814,0.3556208328580324,0.0,0.06596445561644633,0.06856988179732261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636083760554491,0.06579779586252285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877373961961495,0.07391919010592307,0.0,0.07343785646671892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471923200595545,0.2284917589274408,0.0,0.11799501189985954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293478007251916,0.0,0.060301752839078016,0.0,0.04459850086331441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746254443930341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410931324283775,0.0,0.0,0.07115415035324127,0.0,0.20325857683768847,0.07109422815123202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189480936527626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053132742107498035,0.06689192541010526,0.0,0.05324167426563814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668617081312258,0.06810790463213975,0.0,0.05143626283305773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33515424681206785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308307687711227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528140201496155,0.0,0.044387891509857114,0.0,0.0656438815373116,0.053042421128738505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072390208954158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940830757449096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864099189600372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jgsingh94,2018/02/12,"m23 sucuidal thoughts 
Hello,


For the last four years i have been very depressesd. I always put on a brave face and try to hide it until i eventually came out to a friend which shooked her a lot. She recommened that i seek help 


Sometimes i wonder if i have reached my purpose in my life and wonder if my parents lives and anyone elses life will be better without me. 


I do believie if i wasn't scared of dying i would have taken my life about now 


Guess i should explain why i feel this way and it make me summed up as been a failure and left behind. No matter how i try it never seems enough.


It's almost like been locked in a room and the walls are closing in 


Some more reasons 


1. Failed my second year of uni and lost all my friends. Tried to talking to them but got told to go away

2. During my work placement i was subjected to aunfair n discplinary 

3. In my final year and i hate what i do. I have no friends and found my exama very hard

4. Friends outside uni are starting to shun me out

5. Any dates i have end up running off. One time a girl ran off with her ex and left me 


Sometimes i wonder if their is a future for me",1.2431890198968318,3.2156434110169485,2.4617391304347827,95.688861459101,80.9915254237288,4.782313927781871,22.125276344878408,5.511479884284512,-0.00836565954310986,879,28,196,4,23,281,148,236,0.081,0.8140000000000001,0.105,0.5394,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,4,3,12,1,2,9,0,19,4,1,3,2,41,38,18,1,6,6,2,2,1,4,3,3,0,1,1,8,15,0,0,9,0,0,6,5,5,0,3,13,2,37,7,29,21,5,37,0,2,0,0,17,17,0,12,14,130,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346286525514375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428238869269676,0.0,0.0,0.07705418835285227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922847534595025,0.11609873619837124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645778798996533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002128403105568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959561762143598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117597131831389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465535458955876,0.0,0.1003583802210808,0.11707876419043545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729257088903391,0.0,0.0,0.12412476550294585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423776479395465,0.35016984012568925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439626869595086,0.0,0.09062377329153,0.0,0.1248229342292264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150284867373542,0.11186944449094606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594881444781627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236217729276623,0.0,0.0,0.2462217042702413,0.0,0.2401010626085589,0.055357185283885814,0.0,0.10005416030939558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369045199469195,0.09633148839154576,0.0,0.0,0.07563481681282985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739109342568739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678129303416685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581653380097182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139071114161168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650080000150258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344234507246605,0.0,0.0,0.10315250275510517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413152839019174,0.0,0.08020088368587047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107369821626288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995490269228221,0.06607154587068757,0.0,0.0,0.10827186214043127,0.0,0.2307886671836093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18698402700228364,0.0,0.08993962349432934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224399100042242,0.0,0.0,0.10922609171285944,0.3686372058275629,0.08249049722374849,0.0,0.0,0.08049165358350951,0.0,0.0,0.2189023624315429
mentalhealth,unimaginablepancake,2018/02/12,"My girlfriend is suicidal and I don’t know how to be there for her I should say at the outset that I am not a perfect picture of mental health, but compared to my girlfriend I have it pretty easy going. I have sporadic bouts of anxiety and depression, but she has Bipolar and Borderline. She called me last night because she felt suicidal, and it’s the first time I’ve been called on to aid her. And I had no clue what to do or say at all. She went on later that night to take too much diazepam (she is fine, she messaged me earlier and I’m seeing her in a couple of hours). I thought I had helped calm her down at least partially but it’s dawning on me just how clueless and unprepared to deal with this sort of thing I am. I love her, and I don’t want to lose her, and I wish she could see the amazing person that I see, and I’m freaking out a lot right now. I don’t know how to support another person, let alone someone with recurring suicidal feelings. I guess what I’m after is some advice on how to be there for someone when they’re feeling suicidal, particularly if you’re also unable to be with them physically in the moment. Thank you in advance.

Edit: spelling ",3.0097247302356323,4.505407092050213,4.423739264479192,85.75105042942084,74.31380753138075,7.374675181678045,27.641708874697198,8.032893268588372,1.7294133891213388,921,36,189,14,19,306,132,239,0.171,0.6890000000000001,0.14,-0.8897,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,4,11,10,0,0,7,0,21,3,0,4,2,41,42,21,4,5,7,0,3,0,2,1,2,2,0,2,10,14,0,0,6,0,0,3,5,3,0,1,6,8,35,7,32,30,5,28,0,2,3,1,27,13,0,6,12,139,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531030530462195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221460804928855,0.0,0.09436625219566176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373551091241933,0.0902712983018787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193299668783917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409867145287594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421509036561668,0.13056710060309032,0.0,0.0,0.1216550035741409,0.1016350524692168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193308342010132,0.0,0.11330053976077305,0.0,0.0,0.1003725424211684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706332377546748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999263811918424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543073482052294,0.0,0.0,0.07909433320935673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620831782378195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970175752410887,0.09618747678747708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066516190369067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320141877577496,0.0,0.10032118205912656,0.10650151980616873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189183818905418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867451352058339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147399061789555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060697980910549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005057788685428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077316515567687,0.0,0.18768004309986408,0.0,0.0,0.2820972339617055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999656255548745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5163006641146604,0.13390740662794576,0.0,0.0,0.08872290819163807,0.0,0.0,0.108640497394859,0.0,0.0,0.07839536471529529,0.0,0.0,0.09368050178383268,0.06880798472955911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960070731065683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938914683207893,0.0,0.0,0.13569661364798272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EmotionalWillow,2018/02/12,"Australian Best Private Health Insurance for Mental Health I have been looking around for the best private health insurance for my Anxiety and Depression. My Psychiatrist says that I have to get the one that will work best for future needs. Group therapy and hospital help if needed.
Does anyone know which one of the health funds is best to go with so that i am covered?",6.429850746268656,8.406640044776122,5.662865671641793,78.3295223880597,66.46268656716418,9.53910447761194,31.310447761194034,9.888512548439397,3.221002388059701,301,12,51,7,5,91,45,67,0.066,0.696,0.238,0.9442,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,5,2,5,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,0,0,8,12,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,1,2,5,4,9,10,4,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968060473090956,0.0,0.0,0.10025033127602367,0.0,0.0,0.12763312574679408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6018480509393939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348768907037448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254674245019789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490692039364658,0.0,0.0814826644274039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6095988029750536,0.0,0.0,0.09610047113956004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879451978375941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039792647242845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448712142987336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21261978989033103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19430766599675894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401664211296635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639604954887466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437787219424767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asuicidalsoftie,2018/02/12,"Do you ever wonder about a different life you could’ve had Do you ever just sit and wonder what you’d be like if your situation was different? 

Because I do. A lot. 

I was born with a genetic condition that affected the way the bones in my face developed which really fucking sucks for my self-esteem.

I’ve been depressed since I was around 13 and I was never able to get help. I’m attempting at seeking help, very slowly as I would have to go behind my parents backs. Though, most days I feel like I don’t want help. Sometimes I just want to suffer because in some fucked up way, I’m kind of waiting for myself to snap and just put an end to myself. That story is for another time.

Anyways, on top of lovely depressing and suicidal thoughts.. I am also an extremely introverted person because my social anxiety is through the roof. I hate (*let me repeat myself I **hate** having to talk to other human beings*) talking to people because I always sound so fucking stupid and I’ll be left thinking about the interaction all day while simultaneously thinking about the death I deserve for being so awkward. I am truly a mess. 

So, y’all know depression and anxiety are shit partners together so I’m sure it’s not that hard to understand what a lonely, boring, pathetic piece of shit I am. 

In order to escape my shitty life I usually daydream, like way more than acceptable I think. Sometimes I daydream about how if I was born with normal facial features then maybe things would be different. But it’s not a thing where I feel like I would be a better person? I know *most* people daydream about how a little change in their life could really benefit them. 

Yet I’m the opposite, usually I find myself wishing I was born with at least a nice face for the simple purpose of being able to act out self-destructive tendencies; sleeping around, going out to clubs by myself, getting too drunk, doing drugs, etc. I really believe that in another life if I was born normal then I would probably be drowning in booze, drugs and sex instead of just drowning in my tears in my bed every single day. And honestly, I think I prefer the idea of the daydream life more. 

Is that fucked up that I *wish* I was self-destructive and reckless? ",3.101217927170868,5.583272345882354,4.543252100840338,80.51287254901962,77.30588235294118,7.435854341736696,26.119047619047624,8.418075326091056,2.1536812324929966,1757,68,309,36,42,583,215,425,0.174,0.7120000000000001,0.114,-0.9854,4,2,2,0,0,0,54.0,0,6,2,3,27,30,10,1,20,0,39,22,7,3,5,66,72,25,4,15,10,1,3,4,1,4,7,1,1,4,14,16,2,1,16,2,0,4,4,18,0,0,11,4,52,12,53,46,11,50,0,5,0,6,21,21,7,9,24,227,66,0,0.14192836436986989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056750030854639616,0.059047884399974035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488242650038657,0.10857481026793403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634633484981345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456707574266557,0.0,0.17303642717684325,0.0,0.0,0.07995233227513057,0.0,0.06276205229947875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750706952368977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331825013322312,0.0,0.0,0.13729808036690155,0.0,0.18336403839314905,0.0,0.0,0.22242739928102306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459184339556387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285320213065466,0.0,0.07914382167059161,0.0,0.1283823311247541,0.059790384150888415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717632454956043,0.10139365186446317,0.0,0.0,0.06485997689247258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624209717135,0.07415171250604362,0.0,0.08066116021183746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356996845179692,0.14012487629521372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269738637340396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010992389684847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389827548303876,0.07800011731029144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710279158232655,0.07256568425453838,0.25062050268707503,0.13867805950504236,0.0711247535088868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033120999046185,0.06404794504855775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129305923914428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473195210408412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905966283741755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879732627161032,0.0,0.0,0.09839525740641117,0.12392637333555505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651139087805657,0.0,0.0,0.07133860353449903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638441674821838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220933561958328,0.0,0.14568742646027158,0.05870230482700261,0.07976671405854595,0.07101543166861835,0.07233904700735055,0.0,0.0,0.14037078146068124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762329735747654,0.0,0.06688290188270175,0.0,0.0,0.11407664312961086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429089876811413,0.1818839301440719,0.06972194869186576,0.05633763387876744,0.041379785310871615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387621634081923,0.0,0.0,0.15631404186512646,0.05855288227295264,0.08371302654247192,0.1689841941228328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321061464698405,0.0,0.1539152569004402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164367584929416,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SammitTheWeirdo,2018/02/12,Help Lately I’ve been thinking about cutting my right hand off or tearing my eyes out of my sockets.. idk what to do anymore ,3.4716000000000022,5.116423560000001,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,73.4,5.0,32.5,3.1291,1.3238000000000003,99,5,19,0,2,31,23,25,0.101,0.6940000000000001,0.205,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,5,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057506332855385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418204018219837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5752654452917689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4355093773306083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267665214490355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Texascadman,2018/02/12,"Thoughts of cutting Hello.  So for the past year or so I have had thoughts of cutting my arms.  I imagine myself using a box cutter and adjusting the blade so it doesn't go too deep and just slicing my forearms.  

I don't know why I'm thinking this.  I'm 37, happily married with 2 little girls.  Life is stressful, but nothing earth shattering.  

What are your thoughts? 

Thanks! ",2.302500000000002,4.921112027777782,2.997777777777781,89.60000000000002,81.5,5.266666666666668,29.83333333333333,6.6274283507984215,1.6402166666666669,294,15,55,3,8,92,57,72,0.067,0.8390000000000001,0.093,0.5848,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,2,1,3,0,6,3,2,1,0,14,16,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,7,1,4,12,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093434042557607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595495810409456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758589720681265,0.0,0.26617935399397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548296635722521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535246595719605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042191910427305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445089341634746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017193255223126,0.0,0.6325188173562707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22937449102945226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23964322245114245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102379977533713
mentalhealth,killerwitchbitch,2018/02/12,"I feel like I’m losing myself I’m a 20 yr old female living in the the US, I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life and I’ve grown used to dealing with those issues, and in spite of that I’ve always been able to look at the good in life and in people, but lately it feels like everything around me is crumbling. I find myself getting irrationally angry at my boyfriend for something minor he’ll say when all he’s done is nothing but help me. I get anxious incredibly easily, especially when it comes to my relationship, and I’m always paranoid he’s cheating on me when we have a healthy relationship, he’s shown no signs of straying even when given the opportunity (that’s a whole other story) I love him with all of my heart and I trust him (I’m a trusting person in general) but i feel like my anxiety is going to be the thing that ruins my relationship. Even with no proof my head is telling me I’m not worth his time and that he’s spending his free time with someone better, and that he secretly loathes me because I’m annoying and too emotional. He always reassured me but in the end I still feel it eating away at my confidence. If he doesn’t want to have sex then I always feel like I did something wrong and that it’s because I gained 2 pounds or he’s suddenly realized how ugly I am when he reassured me it’s because he’s exhausted. I’m sorry about the wall of text I just don’t know where else to turn because he’s pretty much my only other source of venting and i don’t want to upset him. ",5.031776315789479,5.181829137820515,6.358441295546559,78.72340080971661,68.51923076923077,9.388933873144401,30.52361673414305,9.276330184999452,2.5172987179487185,1209,44,243,22,19,411,157,312,0.187,0.62,0.193,0.7471,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,4,14,23,3,1,11,0,14,8,2,2,3,44,39,24,0,3,8,0,5,4,0,1,3,1,0,1,15,18,1,0,9,0,3,3,6,10,0,0,4,7,38,14,31,33,5,30,0,4,1,2,31,14,0,2,17,147,53,0,0.0993045758604296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305174489583516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193545744930348,0.11218590479855654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840212630847527,0.0,0.0,0.09329991792761487,0.0,0.0,0.2421405909310739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782682744779031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554209907569155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237865726280948,0.08553088567616758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162305891754177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161337251976113,0.08295623064653151,0.11170428181248547,0.08795437905264199,0.0,0.0,0.1311794715841066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924854958733856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25105688661842085,0.2837728353467335,0.0,0.0,0.09076258328235336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376508448371018,0.0,0.05643707893633089,0.08329196675803854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019151442036301,0.0,0.0,0.11767640052750003,0.06656176394862569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036481770595036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457519785387311,0.0,0.11201988697343214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028351743086012,0.19406079879011395,0.0,0.08768775982892818,0.0,0.0833908332262362,0.11109641926106258,0.0,0.0,0.08962625682353532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300028938835902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528541879730378,0.0,0.10420344753783033,0.0,0.0,0.0755256047774261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884528928944503,0.0867089252852765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102845428951164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198478523221314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897098451803643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414044487101299,0.15289902815995762,0.0,0.11116334249037854,0.0,0.0,0.07930476255908912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679657632837383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597354765016981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158105935409226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801486250934306,0.0,0.0,0.11945117771016635,0.08576726952732837,0.0,0.0,0.11714482347064732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221740025154632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857396460989584,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jabberwocky918,2018/02/12,What's a mental health evaluation or similar discussion like? Never met a therapist or psychiatrist/psycholgist before. Just wondering what the first initial contact is like.,8.538888888888888,12.7064702962963,8.897777777777783,47.30000000000004,68.25925925925927,13.970370370370366,42.333333333333336,11.855464076750405,8.153133333333335,146,9,15,7,3,48,23,27,0.0,0.8079999999999999,0.192,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073164263592352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071983801390281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838910286324109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528843204371043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639594395471279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278545110789405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41932895705242096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916573467357992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrumpyCatPerson,2018/02/12,"Suddenly started feeling really different, like something isn’t right. I don’t explain things well but I’ll give it a go. I’ve recently had this feeling like my general feeling has changed (does this make sense?, probably not)

So like my general day to day feeling now feels different to how it used to be. It feels wrong and uncomfortable almost like I’m in a dream or something. My anxiety is through the roof and it’s making me feel sick and shaky. I’m literally tossing and turning at night because the feeling is freaking me out and I can’t shake it. 

I’ve recently had a bad virus/flu thing and my anxiety normally gets a bit higher around any minor illness but nothing like this. I just don’t feel right and have no idea how to change it.  What is wrong with me and how do I stop it? ",2.9038065099457486,4.9108710443038035,4.270922242314652,84.54329113924051,75.89873417721519,8.05858951175407,30.273056057866178,8.841846274778883,2.6021613019891503,627,30,125,14,14,207,91,158,0.23,0.615,0.156,-0.9568,2,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,2,6,0,13,2,0,6,0,39,33,15,0,1,5,0,9,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,13,11,0,1,11,1,0,2,6,6,1,0,2,9,11,6,10,30,1,17,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,3,14,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648680435109687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910778687729605,0.0,0.17798290819589796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355757500735822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712995144135236,0.07091314840146186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700126393224787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612155665902305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500453102219683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430783302854701,0.0,0.0,0.1018003919266241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5293754597879521,0.08310554256049807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077716095917296,0.11159348654211516,0.06611251651064598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132141051250912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841626463905596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530117432509924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916699350025773,0.1139778330879305,0.11162092266623806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542246055954107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452340945242324,0.0,0.22972193281306666,0.0,0.0,0.19868885614708864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911167116021018,0.0,0.0,0.08233834590456496,0.0,0.0,0.09725634849902387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456778913764613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653267170507393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047100469348212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459384439736964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25437524985997073,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_am_a_psycopath,2018/02/13,"i feel broken and lost, can someone please help me just check my post history for details, i`m too in tears to explain whats happening to me right now, i dont feel like myself and i dont know where to turn.",6.911363636363635,4.502861954545459,7.203636363636368,82.60045454545455,65.81818181818181,10.618181818181819,33.36363636363636,8.841846274778883,2.4070363636363634,162,5,37,2,2,53,35,44,0.203,0.69,0.108,-0.5283,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,10,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,5,9,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6104584486719177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26336868203087666,0.186055635258838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23030282444644284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456485939224595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431288952471048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723594615254566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842968190827049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28588068159837504,0.0,0.0,0.2494258373634547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224110463052905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066670197391414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832797415160084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShotGunSinner13,2018/02/13,Trying to build a community for support Hello! I have bipolar disorder and I've recently discovered that blogging is a great release! Doing this has made me realize that a lot of people who have bipolar disorder (or want to learn more about it) could possibly benefit from having some type of community within my blog where we can comment and help support each other and such. If anyone is interested in checking it out please comment and I can provide the link :),6.540714285714286,8.265155452380956,7.429523809523811,66.73214285714286,65.9047619047619,10.361904761904762,37.80952380952381,10.504223727775694,4.677466666666668,374,20,56,10,6,125,65,84,0.055,0.69,0.255,0.9564,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,1,0,17,14,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,5,10,12,4,5,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,4,1,48,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812173826525558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055369485033596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5183500713878945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24931919006909065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515762925796087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922554022103758,0.0,0.21397831339627046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677639973782845,0.0,0.0,0.2482328573326715,0.0,0.2549378919695273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232851100556364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5132400115666698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353362566362186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338271841982988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cherrysmoothie2123,2018/02/13,"I can't stop overthinking things and I'm so tired of it I need to explain things a little but it is going to be long.

I'm a 18 years old girl from Europe and right now I'm struggling with depression and anxiety. 

This started years ago and right now I'm into therapy but I can't go more than 2-3 times a month because my parents don't want to spend too much money and they aren't so enthusiastic about it.

I noticed that I spend too much time worrying about things and about myself.
There have been moments where I didn't worry about anything but they are short-lived and I seem to find something new to obsess about every month.

I was bullied and socially isolated and the isolation continued for years (idk if this is relevant or not) but this thing started after being bullied a lot in middle school and after several family problems when I was 13.

I started having anxiety and having obsessve thoughts about being a lesbian without a real reason, I think it's because some people started the rumor in middle school and spread it in high school to 'attack' me (people here are lowkey homophobic).

The funniest thing is that I'm 100% pro LGBT, I support gay marriage and when I was 12-13 I started getting into fandoms and shipping a lot of mxm couple.

I convinced myself that I was attracted to the same sex when it wasn't true, I had terrible anxiety and obsessive thoughts all the time.

It really stressed me out and at some point after doing a research I thought I had HOCD but after a while it went away on its own and I started obsessing over something else.

When I was 16 I started obsessing over the fact that I didn't have any romantic/sexual experience and I didn't have crushes so often (when I was 15 I felt attracted to a guy but it wasn't a total romantic crush).

I was really anxious about it so I began indentify myself as aromantic (a person who doesn't feel romantic attraction) in order to calm myself down.

I didn't consider myself asexual because I felt attracted to celebrities, had sexual thoughts (I started masturbating at 14-15) and all.

When I was 16-17 school was really shitty for me because people in my class treated me like I was diseased (I was pretty much an outcast) so my issues got worse.

Going to school was extremely difficult because my depression and anxiety got worse (especially in the first months) and I decided to start therapy.

I noticed that during that period of time I think obsessively about what other people think, my anxiety gets 100 times worse etc

When I was 16 I found out the Maladaptive Daydreaming disorder and I realised I have it. 

I occasionally felt like a freak for having such a thing and I worried about that too.
Plus when it got bad it inteferred with my life somehow (less sleep, all the time I wasted etc).

Another thing is that I always worried that nothing would change and I convinced myself that there's something wrong with me because I don't have romantic/sexual experience (even if I know it is normal considering my whole situation, I never had the occasion to do any of this stuff nor I met someone worth it actually).

Right now I'm 18 and I still occasionally feel bad for it, randomly even if I know there're plenty of people in my situation. 

I'm afraid it will never happen and as I said there might be something wrong with me.

Lately, a few things changed though. I posted a thread on Reddit (not on this profile) to vent about stuff and I started with a guy (full story here if you are interested https://www.reddit.com/r/wemetonline/comments/7wqdzw/i_need_advice_because_i_am_not_sure_of_what_its/)

As soon as I began talking to him I felt anxious and it was hard for me to daydream as I usually do but it gradually went away and right now I almost only dd about myself instead of fictional characters (it doesn't even feel so appealing anymore).

The point is that I found something else to worry about.
I started having a crush for this dude and I know I can feel romantic attraction but when I hear that other people having crushes all the time I feel I'm not normal.

As I said I have been socially isolated for years and since I was 12-14 I had mostly internet friends only.
I found the demiromantic label and I felt similar but honestly I don't think it fully makes sense.

I need to get to know somewhere before feeling that type of feelings, but I heard it is really common so...

I used to have small crushes for fictional characters or celebrities so I know I'm not demisexual.

At the moment I began worrying for the future. I'm afraid I will never be able to do what other people generally do (have an indipendent life, have a relationship or starting a family).

I'm not sure of what I want in life and I know I have time but I'm anxious  and afraid I will miss things out.

In the future I like the idea of having kids but I don't want to be pressured and I am not even able to take care of myself...

I'm worrying about being sexually active (right now I'm not) and I'm scared that I will get pregnant in a inappropriate time (so I did a long research about birth control, but the fact that it is never 100% sure freaks me out a bit).

I see other people being carefree and not worrying about anything and I cannot relate.

I know I will probably meet someone when I will be over 19-20 but if I'm not ready for that stuff like other people, how can I approach it?

As a background, I have self esteem issues and people around me aren't always so supportive.

I said some things to my therapist but it's embarassing to tell her everything.

I feel like I'm paranoic, I asked her if I have a Generalised Anxiety Disorder but she said it's unlikely.

How can I overcome this? Sorry for my english, I repeated a lot of words...it isn't my first language.",4.125711503686187,6.08165169077758,5.4203435804701625,77.84875573793299,72.32730560578663,8.586674085408264,28.519126443177075,9.206850279629665,2.645495590485464,4574,181,824,103,91,1525,376,1106,0.17,0.738,0.092,-0.9977,1,1,5,0,0,0,116.0,0,1,2,3,63,48,1,12,46,0,96,8,1,6,14,168,195,97,0,15,35,1,14,5,1,8,4,6,0,6,72,52,0,2,37,0,4,6,33,25,0,2,55,21,135,23,111,123,25,127,0,3,1,3,33,43,0,22,81,612,207,9,0.07431048998440315,0.0,0.03625815940386323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03293588286638666,0.0,0.03720561079567053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061832280556260284,0.0,0.0,0.050533681404675165,0.0389605139998136,0.1705419643239389,0.12592455306351494,0.036848019120107184,0.0,0.0,0.06115120159307341,0.03307604541244286,0.034735138478317155,0.04226945508395377,0.06981715149209307,0.0,0.06204615518573636,0.1358969549083817,0.0,0.03161637687526127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040563904407400375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03788224853682032,0.0,0.0786106451841552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04167276663336264,0.0,0.0411115718798167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640035161353388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516625948105706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620768790681611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287583942351717,0.09816275559155163,0.0,0.031304896398506164,0.0,0.03339273841496341,0.0726899182698223,0.07005331649304933,0.0,0.1502944660660506,0.02654371444639779,0.17837430956503925,0.0,0.03395922079885464,0.06320846481920192,0.0,0.12221642506524975,0.0287060501134047,0.0,0.07764832792896574,0.0,0.06334854591607503,0.0,0.08914933084946645,0.0,0.0,0.07357906816315161,0.032856260439522895,0.0,0.033283801479141985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187666146716496,0.0,0.0,0.03925655629876621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041943749044231406,0.0,0.07756084507230647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293685667878445,0.0,0.04191273471976133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787315450473871,0.09076087959636224,0.03723931651527791,0.0,0.06576244522144886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947641818247056,0.0,0.0,0.024801414547500268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03941584334204745,0.0,0.0,0.08897088621318337,0.0,0.08194014061964974,0.05510028673863529,0.11462566194473235,0.035884767142454484,0.0,0.0,0.0728085025737683,0.035651459652516315,0.08460298537385436,0.0389881794343667,0.0,0.0,0.0565164761920633,0.0,0.0,0.041256502537045436,0.0,0.0,0.2575876859595557,0.03244252678258217,0.0,0.0,0.0702474323082885,0.0,0.035584454044181944,0.03780024170876111,0.04005963833078301,0.03555255153209457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042290803119453366,0.0952104054257076,0.038201780049298174,0.0,0.03989082815935572,0.0,0.1586518810526529,0.14137258581229567,0.0,0.03719888202208944,0.18801545777983653,0.02960791975299896,0.03382473958749062,0.03876102378470148,0.04197485102117165,0.0,0.030735202609256686,0.0835281042299489,0.037182078065779715,0.07575018639843037,0.06296303701713016,0.14301961418014802,0.0,0.0415922548240584,0.31558408370972085,0.0,0.029672226646158737,0.031063448515219787,0.04256120760409795,0.038842729334432134,0.1276015986047677,0.0,0.08432666341515341,0.07003675738177442,0.0,0.02793612020684309,0.0298639785090657,0.03247532180689888,0.0,0.08498052152058397,0.04314010317620361,0.2468429379721576,0.09523032291186072,0.036504839557355284,0.11798845697067363,0.19498969934566204,0.042704488361195635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032090202128036004,0.040921253105436255,0.0,0.06574537846681174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888656870048311,0.0,0.04148250414349864,0.0,0.0358163302844728,0.0,0.0,0.3018636387847369,0.11359310672531185,0.02639402000640231,0.08124685534179475,0.0,0.0957070383696787
mentalhealth,UnsolicitedPeanutMan,2018/02/13,"How would you guys feel about crowdfunding mental health care? I'm in charge of a non-profit for mental health awareness and was wondering what you guys thought if people could crowdfund mental health care. 

**On the funding side:**
People sign up for monthly subscriptions of 1 or 5 dollars.
If we get let's say, 200,000 people who subscribe, thats 200K to 1M per month. That should be enough to cover costs. To gather this amount of people, we run ads on television or get news stories, etc.

**On the eligibility side:**
We start outreach programs to go talk to homeless people, kids at school, universities, etc. to find people who have mental health issues but cannot afford it.
I can start an application process where people can talk to our non-profit and see if they're eligible for funding depending on their financial or social situation(whether they can't afford it, or their guardians will not pay for it, etc.)

**Giving money:**
People can send receipts that will be verified through our non-profit, and then be reimbursed for it. We'll have a trust system where people with repeating payments will automatically get the money they need.

**Risk management:**
Every once in a while, we will ask for receipts or records that prove that people are actually using the money for what is needed. If they are using the money on something that doesn't have to do with their mental health, we will contact them and evaluate their situation before revoking their funding.

**Covered costs:**
This is a very very broad area but here's what I can think of right now. Feel free to add.
psychiatric ward payment,
medication,
psychiatrist/therapist bills,
(was thinking about housing or something like that if people need to get away from abusive situations)

So,
how do you all feel about this?

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mentalhealth,La_Fragola,2018/02/13,"How do I find a therapist? Any help would be appreciated.     
    
I live in California if that matters. ",1.1950000000000005,3.767361833333332,5.105555555555559,69.14500000000001,97.33333333333334,9.066666666666668,28.222222222222214,8.841846274778883,3.6920888888888896,75,4,14,3,3,28,17,18,0.0,0.628,0.3720000000000001,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249503111766184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367407661252396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32028876581372223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219450132700002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5548137227145246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33944667302583803,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flozza89,2018/02/13,Lost my personality - what could it be? So I know I have bipolar because I have had manic episodes. But this is a separate issue. When I was 19 a couple of bad things happened nothing awful but I became mute for a while. I eventually got my voice back but I felt like I wasn't the same person. I find it hard to explain but some examples would be I'm a lot shyer and sensitive. I don't know if I have anxiety or depression but I doubt it. I know I have low self esteem.  Im not succeeding in life as I was when I was a teenager. Career love life and social life aren't going well. I avoid going out sometimes and I don't know why.  What are some possible reasons why you lose your personality? Whether or not you think they may be relevant to me. Or could you just change your personality without it being a mental health thing,1.077013391466835,3.4180429112426047,3.449361569604484,86.1748894425413,84.38461538461539,6.3981314232326385,22.504204297726563,7.669130373188453,1.1585313609467451,648,23,134,12,19,223,102,169,0.181,0.741,0.078,-0.9343,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,1,3,6,11,0,2,7,1,22,6,0,1,0,37,36,18,0,4,14,0,2,1,0,2,5,1,0,5,9,4,0,1,9,0,0,2,7,7,1,0,8,3,27,4,8,20,4,9,0,4,0,1,14,3,0,9,5,99,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010384465448807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155896292943496,0.11027867232973017,0.08051283605506822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971981915625686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21090527223378489,0.14614054813622687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375761741739995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681451076334804,0.0,0.12071586939881075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501246615895537,0.0,0.105633941009806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679514284628495,0.0,0.11831493591241535,0.0,0.0,0.14039154009801985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266568764197046,0.13785394104987428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29034398177264314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798694047134179,0.06452608882147957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477602372386576,0.14417750922212716,0.11228703454450427,0.11920453475587355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310242344881792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673132204008886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612977252040716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488968297024035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357970230986192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778498372130007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463573947074933,0.0,0.0,0.1306274048656281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549201166164996,0.08462952736405603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875297086881476,0.0,0.23835766977394665,0.0,0.0,0.12731739266264067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382362130375857,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InfamousBurns,2018/02/13,"Strange things happening to me lately Hi docs just wondering if you can have a look at me!

I've been seeing thing out the corner of my eye and when I look at them they go away some are black some are browny creamy. I've been misreading a lot of words lately in titles of posts and comments only noticed when it didn't make sense and went back to read it again. I've been having these sort of headaches where my brain just feels like it's being pressured from all sides and can last 30 min to 2 hours. Haven't had any auditory problems yet. Also I just seen some sort of creepy worm thing on the wall when trying to sleep and that's why I'm writing this post because it's becoming too much. I've been having troubles waking up in the morning getting later and later even when I goto sleep around 10-11 most nights. Getting kind of worried.

Thanks for any replys!",3.8177978021978016,5.1174979885714285,4.022285714285714,90.20125274725277,71.97142857142856,6.527472527472527,23.74725274725275,6.67199483983844,0.5906263736263737,688,18,143,5,13,213,117,175,0.07400000000000001,0.894,0.032,-0.725,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,2,0,15,6,0,1,5,0,15,5,5,1,1,26,29,12,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,8,7,10,3,21,20,7,32,0,0,6,0,6,13,0,9,16,89,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827996106841092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116160024522328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166723737517205,0.0,0.0,0.13896206973566425,0.1137301865260898,0.0,0.09016180943723963,0.1633499852847285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511143395921274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769017638526133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478545610930659,0.10566370638485947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454902026108394,0.0,0.08405809429448967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079232987519435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565710715651742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402079991013667,0.0,0.12056270907211572,0.3336876535617173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225914784660492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484067090196125,0.0,0.0,0.12574395223079513,0.0,0.0,0.09872805819879854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872754799826376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879927611003812,0.0,0.0,0.1683913723506521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248878446014728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28330513512589633,0.0,0.0,0.1415255718601822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794550801165285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178615203145363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960245965164565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361714967303477,0.0,0.0,0.2947854917638221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041811397394028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710986425293042,0.13346169289927926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603971867491079,0.0,0.15020519717213265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedditSilver99,2018/02/13,"Is this OCD? Just a premise, I have OCD. I have to do mental and physical rituals to find relief and all that. I’ll have to rewrite this question if I make a mistake, I’ve probably rewrote it three or four times already. 

I have a weird thing that I can’t find a relief ritual for tho. 

My phone is a iPhone and it has a low battery notification and whenever that comes up my brain goes fuzzy and I can’t think straight, it’s like I forget everything that happened in that day and I start acting funny I feel like. 

How can I find relief? ",1.0166216216216206,3.2486560000000004,2.9003828828828837,90.74354729729731,83.5945945945946,6.222522522522524,22.763513513513516,7.492282038375204,0.9637621621621624,420,15,91,7,12,140,68,111,0.076,0.741,0.183,0.9074,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,6,0,11,1,1,2,1,21,17,10,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,3,0,2,0,1,12,5,6,17,1,9,2,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,5,60,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246619469554166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494813649577013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251114521778948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412829321768478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085245365422225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299991297842538,0.15965657291727278,0.0,0.0,0.6127792878387321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19762561683839547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218365383949177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917689301362466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252186854326421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409528847635037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25035253466932345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818268820313708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847242877424002,0.14319912746778604,0.0,0.0,0.1303149573824899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PinkSquidz,2018/02/13,"Needing to Invert Camera Controls for Video Games After 18 Years of Gaming At some point last year, I booted up Halo Anniversary Edition for some Halo 2.

As I was playing I noticed that I had a really hard time just looking around. I would push the stick down and mentally think I would look up and then I swapped to inverted Y-Axis and I was playing just fine.

I'm mostly worried because after playing video games with default Y-axis movement for pretty much all my life, I suddenly was incapable of doing it and needed to change to something I was previously unfamiliar with.

Should I be concerned this might affect other parts of my life? Any explanations?

Thanks",5.129354838709677,7.229255161290323,5.8992258064516125,74.85383870967746,69.96774193548387,7.863225806451613,30.94838709677419,8.548686976883017,2.7669090322580647,536,23,85,9,10,175,85,124,0.054000000000000006,0.8320000000000001,0.114,0.7325,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,2,1,22,18,6,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,1,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,13,5,20,8,6,16,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,4,8,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117714588314874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171997423105853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175887327921402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406033727707704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635132988800165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727985755564304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723748525306422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724988979813719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239712059130168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943956525665587,0.20463412474471915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180210743898156,0.2860626081775469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21961546924838246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888956285819216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235080880073104,0.0,0.0,0.19624645120708334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357529567365255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850218129348675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759441434099146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360114693675182,0.0,0.0,0.11248028169105376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958971199059532,0.0,0.274058181916053,0.0,0.0,0.2484397689874611
mentalhealth,Saaarf,2018/02/13,"Correlation and stories of mental health and substance abuse? Hello, as part of my university project I'm trying to highlight the issue of mental health issues and substance abuse. Either self-medication via drugs or mental health issues caused via drug abuse. 

Feel free to comment or PM me your stories or experiences. My goal is to highlight an issue, I'm not looking to judge, I've lived/living with mental health issues and have abused substances myself.


",7.255916666666668,9.468453425000009,6.572499999999998,71.6891666666667,64.75,7.333333333333335,30.833333333333336,7.793537801064563,2.4252083333333334,374,14,53,4,6,115,51,80,0.173,0.7390000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.8689,0,0,2,0,4,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,6,0,1,0,12,6,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,9,6,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,28,5,2,0.0,0.4828737405811013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466514876739763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363111901228425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966421167607764,0.0,0.0,0.051516702165452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332008806547206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5317133837163079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555871094614449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317255150702978,0.0,0.41070912830678985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033277897572846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628948198621803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917401241827982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vOceanic,2018/02/13,"I'm high and I don't know why; please help Hey y'all, this isn't super urgent--not suicidal or anything--but I'm going through something I've never experienced before.

A little background, even though it's hard to type this: I've been on a big ol' cocktail of psychiatric drugs (Xanax, Ritalin, Trileptal) since I was 16. I came off of all of them a couple months ago (can't afford them) and feel better than ever. I was originally DX with Bipolar II or Dysthmia, but I think I'm closer to Borderline. Well, whatever.

The real problem is, I've felt high for the past 48 hours. We're talking like out of my body, super numb, super high. Floating. And I have no idea why. 

I suffer from visual snow, visual migraines without infarction, tinnitus, and inexplicable full-body numbness -- that's happened pretty much my whole life. I'm used to a range of mild hallucinations (visual and audio), as well as general migraine-inspired weirdness. Sometimes my body will do stuff (like random chronic pain) and I just let it go. But this sucks the big one. 

Never in my life have I felt this high. It's like I smoked the biggest blunt, but I don't smoke or drink. It's seriously interfering with my work (I work from home as a copywriter). I took a xan last night for the first time in months to bring me down. It didn't work well. 

Do you have ANY idea what could be causing this? I don't care if you're a professional or not. I need something. 

It feels like extremely severe dissociation, but I haven't gone through any trauma significant enough to warrant it. 

Finally, there have been no medication or diet changes. I can't use traditional anti-dissociation ""check back in with your body"" tactics because as aforestated, my body is mostly numb. 

It's not hypomania or anhedonia, it's physical. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much in advance. ",3.3589731601731567,5.735321737142858,4.594363636363639,81.01384848484852,75.91428571428571,7.328138528138528,26.60606060606061,8.296473431620573,1.953019047619048,1448,56,269,27,33,476,198,350,0.162,0.743,0.095,-0.9756,1,0,6,0,0,0,68.0,0,3,2,9,10,23,1,0,12,0,25,20,4,4,4,50,48,23,1,4,15,0,5,4,0,1,14,2,1,0,17,11,3,0,9,2,1,7,15,10,3,2,10,8,29,13,33,34,6,39,0,1,0,0,8,17,1,9,19,157,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229423135275037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638207343930972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702566070832096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271132006566811,0.0,0.049715614315126784,0.0,0.0693979169657717,0.0,0.0,0.07212941313352017,0.0,0.4529501373635667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932780251985887,0.08315149926277751,0.08378019737131423,0.08627514545135025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511561190211995,0.09023986090829697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136996644825963,0.0,0.0,0.07989356404532769,0.0945787512973415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426886739547182,0.0,0.05386678863102296,0.07377182438645878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247405227374413,0.05826342779193122,0.15661257547454713,0.08934031271160514,0.0,0.06937125987527673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269999841603338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211946020202979,0.0,0.07305791237458603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466508480680711,0.34467241393691883,0.08180704400758318,0.0,0.08031596312062897,0.0,0.0,0.27619946696191605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482089479078248,0.06647880274838958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339625660959545,0.11521044399114826,0.15937603504207226,0.08174026409115516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215881503468538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301940066937245,0.0,0.11990568679688665,0.0604725383139972,0.12580160910233046,0.0,0.0,0.07653452522055675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055264271414966384,0.0,0.08678104382423908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778541698147698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952369771677635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297149435371623,0.0,0.07803781656829173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282827235008316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213475779690636,0.0,0.06746374029569255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557116646868918,0.080660699554089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336179558261737,0.08920872850313104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555140423004607,0.0,0.0750855562284596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225761690005731,0.0801280878718405,0.0,0.047555800371572886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061141371969278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087592588376685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21998517954769656,0.0,0.1471827171934273,0.091054056871879,0.0,0.07861681067717087,0.0,0.17812062212993054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bebo889,2018/02/13,"I need your help. I'm 20 years old, Male from egypt.
I've been struggling with depression for a really long time now and i only have one friend who knows what i'm going through and i reached a point where i became dangerous to myself and so i decided to seek the help of a professional. My first therapy session is on Wednesday night, No one knows about this, not even my family (I don't think they know anything else about me for that matter) And i'm really really scared and nervous that i'm one step away from calling the clinic and cancelling my apointment.
I'm scared because there is a voice in my head that doesn't believe that something is wrong with me and keeps telling me that im just making all of this up, and me going to therapy is like telling that voice that this is real and i dont really know how to explain it properly but I thought it'd help me if you guys gave me some advices regarding therapy or what should i do. ",4.924458987783595,5.3055912146596835,5.568285340314136,83.49005453752184,68.79057591623037,9.298603839441537,30.052792321116925,9.2995712137729,2.3843818499127405,746,27,155,14,12,242,112,191,0.096,0.8370000000000001,0.067,-0.4945,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,9,9,1,4,6,0,13,2,1,2,1,33,31,14,0,3,5,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,2,15,11,0,1,8,0,0,3,5,7,0,4,3,2,23,2,19,26,2,17,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,3,9,102,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204727245794856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014530920604716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583036331586198,0.0,0.0,0.07515342254326461,0.0,0.0,0.13890003414486818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588782073745258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618523341343318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448916110093205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298884016765213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142861317926506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162221735985595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486620104338126,0.0,0.0,0.09524972425652667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013147069974713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207158292250915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652602963331158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479061119998689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331690104475891,0.0,0.0,0.10958141756164892,0.0,0.0,0.27101695846521845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602308483450772,0.0,0.0,0.1091033902092463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229372858643784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141430286606728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569466841121892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293669218062602,0.0,0.2506234227461363,0.0937638364034422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654422204831695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032537809282133,0.31591824118344897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468596857636326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491085509930657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288843029207946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551313643144804,0.0,0.42296159921171134,0.0,0.0,0.07899608237967798,0.0,0.0978745590869519,0.07188850442547012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479284919805365,0.0,0.07939153051453632
mentalhealth,niggadick62,2018/02/13,"Emotional support I don't know what to do. I don't use this app. Not for anything useful at least. A friend of mine killed himself on Saturday. I'm 18, he was 19. We were in the same grade. We went through the same elementary, middle and high school. I don't know how to not feel this way. I've been crying nonstop. I don't go home except to sleep. I'm graduated now (early graduation) so I only have work to worry about. How should I handle this? Please help me.",-0.4370535714285708,1.8113286875000008,1.9572023809523813,93.24375000000002,95.45833333333334,4.826190476190477,17.273809523809522,6.5431188927421005,-0.060569047619047474,358,10,79,5,14,121,69,96,0.131,0.7390000000000001,0.13,-0.2688,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,3,0,10,1,1,4,0,16,20,4,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,4,1,11,2,12,15,3,11,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,50,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819296007663999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24284546228475504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486846939447772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178444370867836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080548217072275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256445811627782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818493639997896,0.2335826420034633,0.2217607757525045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445917238161176,0.0,0.242999035579478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681409307173854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426789146918053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374426850622706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212391724756766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508784097354381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818834305508041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754826258216655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049429220580619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609485174136945,0.2245169753795177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brighterwounds,2018/02/13,why? why does it feel so good to realize you have a right to be depressed? (not the actual feeling of being depressed) why does it feel good to know that you’re not faking your depression? literally all it means is that you’re actually mentally ill. so why does it feel so loving and accepting?,3.523157894736844,5.6390009649122845,5.21038596491228,78.01136842105265,74.43859649122807,9.472280701754386,27.18947368421053,9.888512548439397,2.931080000000001,233,9,44,7,5,79,36,57,0.08199999999999999,0.606,0.312,0.9519,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,12,11,4,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,2,4,4,9,1,1,0,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.3034829956633332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017849870711346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082263415152861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144934515655969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608450465773889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854564406404166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034105596045265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938054213118978,0.0,0.0,0.1567032218695188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279258771296545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612431966762956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,howdoyouknow_wow,2018/02/13,"What kind of method is used to treat psychopathic criminals? I'm a criminologist who's writing a paper on this issue. I want to further my research. There are various methods used to treat this horrible criminals, but can you offer me another? Thanks.",4.317333333333334,7.436381622222225,6.013333333333335,67.98000000000002,77.22222222222223,9.822222222222225,33.44444444444444,9.888512548439397,4.557577777777778,203,11,31,7,5,69,37,45,0.147,0.669,0.184,0.2017,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,5,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,21,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841052060149452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382329714327358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814527466717136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372466022543417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.632743895499401,0.0,0.0,0.21605757169635972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,typicalredditor8,2018/02/13,"Just took my first dose of Paxil, does anyone have any advice? I'm starting on 10 mg and going up to 20 in 4 days. Does anyone know from experience which side effects to look out for initially and how long they will last as well as how they can be minimized? Thanks :)
",3.549444444444444,4.764746722222224,4.534259259259262,86.5991666666667,72.51851851851852,7.622222222222224,22.759259259259267,8.07648339933343,0.9936814814814808,209,5,44,3,4,68,47,54,0.0,0.857,0.14300000000000002,0.8105,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,8,11,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,2,11,8,0,12,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,5,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25485507005692304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735595541561053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647210422036197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819728120649993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564634275468976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551167764839366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22184011448899552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822116751746914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333129382057005,0.21259041913479831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308037130585497,0.2190100354944213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184598717543396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24011367849076334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897633173986838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23449450346096265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,analoggirl3,2018/02/13,"Biological Medication Testing My therapist keeps bringing up that there is a test now where they do a cheek swab and it brings back results for what medications (antidepressants, etc.) will work best for you instead of the guessing game that most psychiatrists do when treating Someone for depression/anxiety. Has anyone ever had this testing done? Did you have good results with the medication that was suggested? ",8.920000000000002,11.422915705882357,8.10811764705883,61.15452941176475,61.05882352941178,11.322352941176472,41.541176470588226,11.20814326018867,5.608331764705883,340,19,47,10,5,106,57,68,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,2,7,3,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,2,1,8,14,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,3,6,9,3,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,4,41,10,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973675950219724,0.0,0.0,0.1551428934182256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706111866871282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328482281115129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22705916052702785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474536366554152,0.0,0.20070217768448226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610150345967194,0.0,0.0,0.24442463516704435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721617069667327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6705589795525511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799728115136552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576185168294581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615304896745638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BarabajagalDood,2018/02/13,"Wall of text. Would appreciate discussion or advice. Hi, I just discovered this sub today and was wondering if anyone could weigh in on something I've been thinking about. This is going to be slightly ramble-y... ""You might want to sit down, the next 100 pages are kinda dry""

I'm currently a freshman in college pursuing a double major in Jazz Bass and Mathematics. I got a really good scholarship to my current school and I've always seemed to pull it together really well when I need to (last minute auditions, interviews, pulling up grades at the end of a semester) but I feel like I'm never in a state of regular improvement. 

This leads me to often feel like I'm never proud of myself. When I found out about my scholarship I really had no sense of achievement from it (even though the audition felt really good). When I got accepted into a competitive (somewhat prestigious) local youth orchestra in high school, I just felt like it was another commitment. Overall I feel like this lack of feeling accomplished leads me to be demotivated when it comes to doing anything day-to-day. 

Furthermore, in social situations I'm generally a wallflower and get tense (trying to ""play it cool"") around people I'm not too familiar with. I think a lot of my anxiety around social situations is the fact that I always have a lot I want to say, but I always have a very hard time speaking up in a clear and articulate manner. Tying this back to my point earlier, I feel like the only sense of accomplishment I feel is when I do get my ideas or feelings across. When I'm successful with that people generally see me as very insightful or understanding, but most of the time I just trip over my words or say something that I don't actually mean because it's less effort.

Anyways, I generally consider myself a very emotionally healthy person, because I understand my feelings very well and do a good job of working through my own feelings and emotions. However I feel like what I discussed is a bridge in my mental health that I need to cross before my emotional health can even benefit me.

Also at this point idk even know what the original point of this post was. This was very roundabout and rambling but maybe someone can weigh in.",7.7482692509167075,7.722347653012054,8.165992666317447,68.65388161341018,62.83132530120483,12.036668412781562,36.11576741749607,11.5520848577,4.398158721843898,1776,75,307,50,23,588,214,415,0.044,0.775,0.181,0.9952,5,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,0,9,24,17,0,0,21,1,24,4,0,3,5,78,62,26,0,8,13,0,13,6,0,2,2,3,0,1,20,15,2,0,24,3,4,8,5,0,2,0,11,18,40,17,51,46,10,57,0,0,1,0,11,27,0,14,25,205,60,15,0.0,0.0,0.0700346703494335,0.0,0.0,0.07013031325200808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739239705780649,0.17914878155329006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525441995631771,0.054901896329663635,0.0,0.0,0.050181463789646684,0.0,0.0590584893918572,0.12777647707492362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518473259209564,0.0,0.0874975324633299,0.0,0.06106880681501036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06182129614928754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057300462286973976,0.0,0.0,0.09256812522123496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421861362425532,0.06356465148498129,0.0,0.0,0.1422051548150394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36287774804829404,0.2563533728224625,0.1378159970013733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868929533342521,0.0,0.0,0.07499105220865693,0.0,0.040787090899375655,0.1805853749011601,0.11479795813444275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428953104330308,0.0,0.0,0.15257086868610076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582624227596987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101670591748589,0.0,0.0,0.07121811181458572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0394415089807986,0.058500043514806636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037168089051736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202822471126135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210004121053568,0.07817578316595901,0.0,0.0,0.07232470117370628,0.07613391414212503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642929705605583,0.11070295045133473,0.0,0.07632548824454842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054582373243704026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950901517813256,0.06266456173941147,0.0,0.0,0.20353028858164848,0.0,0.06873337062673167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839042430023318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414470006798492,0.0,0.14526496460607102,0.057189359132577125,0.06533438336676674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133922242159654,0.0,0.14631573749319882,0.0608083203090565,0.1105001654501261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197135737248227,0.07051114691403604,0.0,0.0836963445821342,0.0,0.06802714301798686,0.0,0.0,0.04872538185614636,0.0,0.0,0.14942487528230386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960782767586425,0.08466059288218783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905509770645954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782872893858668,0.052247552175508014,0.0,0.0,0.05098153135009344,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Myarmsbigadventure,2018/02/13,"Fighting a losing battle. When is it time to concede defeat? I've lurked on reddit for years, but I've only recently decided to bite the bullet and create an account and get involved in the community.

I just want to start by providing a bit of background so as to give you guys a better sense of the context. I'm a 24 year old male from the UK, suffering with depression and anxiety since I was 18 . I've also been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, which I believe may have had an influence on me developing depression and anxiety.

My self-esteem has been through the floor for as long as I can remember and it's been declining almost in perpetuity. I've had mixed success with the opposite sex over the years, but have now been single for over 2 ears and my ability to make friends is almost non-existent. In short, I have few real friends any more as most of the ones that I did manage to keep have moved on to pastures greener. Now I'm lucky if I even get a reply and I've seen a gradual shift towards this over the years. My CV/Resume is threadbare and full of holes due to my erratic work history and underwhelming qualifications despite a First class BSc in Audio Production.

I'm unsure where I go from here. My life is in tatters, although I couldn't say I was dealt a great hand in the first place. I've tried a wide range of different medications, many of which had intolerable side effects. Sleep isn't something that comes easy to me - a problem which is often exacerbated by some medications. Where do I go from here? I've reached a point where I feel like giving up completely and any advice would be massively appreciated. 

As a side note: I have been involved with medical teams in the past, but found it difficult to fully engage with the services as leaving the house on my own volition has become a daunting task.",7.203203854707191,6.698196095774647,7.884447739065976,71.81362490733878,64.09859154929578,11.417346182357305,35.8673091178651,10.882677951670544,3.8799295774647895,1454,61,272,35,19,487,203,355,0.093,0.753,0.154,0.98,1,1,1,0,2,0,31.0,0,1,0,9,13,17,2,0,28,0,30,9,3,3,0,42,47,25,0,5,5,0,2,1,2,2,5,4,0,2,9,17,0,1,5,1,1,4,2,9,0,3,13,7,22,8,52,30,8,47,0,5,1,1,12,27,0,8,17,180,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350807154292427,0.10983415620908776,0.0,0.0,0.2251009916964707,0.0,0.0,0.08988474756999054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286917154427634,0.0,0.17196853052627015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413490890808887,0.0,0.1266342078754057,0.0,0.0994070160483795,0.12270965203787484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682104048087507,0.11784730558372787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361669713271232,0.1140817405790493,0.0,0.1174321278534291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423790780061537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056831874001072,0.08029724976168602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121159161388526,0.0,0.12323875304217315,0.1736770398342153,0.0,0.11744677245304674,0.2156450649275652,0.1277569001312857,0.0,0.0,0.12391934011225884,0.0,0.11129182438764704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296923563775283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990462634667516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901339545077515,0.0,0.0,0.07939012642157946,0.054912051079033804,0.0,0.0,0.09946881209013478,0.0,0.12574476220226716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750266275801503,0.1139540668218746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33968788694635915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946142916245076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794293478091683,0.0,0.07616388483960278,0.08548384615892278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729673751654964,0.0,0.0,0.1174321278534291,0.0,0.10625256741226853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754983503920372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127933684170788,0.0,0.0,0.11097959802981834,0.0,0.12732517570810006,0.0,0.0,0.08938350790374912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725576743013852,0.0,0.0,0.09297689836798373,0.0,0.11247930711187994,0.0,0.0,0.08652957523208896,0.0,0.0,0.07955597812564627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554025612241612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631095533402872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629533187711771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182718058831565,0.0,0.0,0.0798444099053605,0.0,0.0,0.28952285406175626
mentalhealth,kurotokyo,2018/02/13,"How to create mental space when you have no physical space? I’m a 22F that left home for college for a few years, and then moved back home last year after taking a medical leave of absence from school due to anxiety and depression. I live with my 29 year old sister (who should hopefully be moving out within a few months), my parents (late 50s and early 60s), and my grandma in her mid-80s.

I don’t like living at home at all. I feel crowded, or cornered— kind of like I’m being watched or judged all the time so I don’t do anything at all. I’m not paranoid and think people are watching me all the time or something, but physically it feels like it, and I’m like this around my friends at times too. Like if I do anything at all, that feels wrong, so I hide my personality and thoughts and not do any activities that attention to myself. I even try to force myself to not think of anything at all because it makes passing through each day easier. The only relief I get is when no one is home, which used to be a everyday during the week until about 6 or 7pm, but now my grandma is home all the time and I spend most of my time trying to avoid sitting with her. I feel so bad for hating my family just for sitting in the same room as me or watching tv when I want quiet time, but I feel so sensitive to it.

 I don’t have a lot of physical space in the house either. I mean I have my room, but it’s a small 8’x10’ room that has clunky furniture from the 90s still, and my whole life if I’ve ever sat in my room while other people are home, they come in and ask me why I’m sitting alone and why I don’t want to sit with them. When my sister moves out I’ll be using her room as an art/work studio and my pets, but my therapist explained to me that it’s not just physical space I need but mental space.

I haven’t had time to discuss it with him yet, but how exactly do you even make mental space? Especially when you don’t have any physical space?",7.419437619437616,4.792029110565114,7.7826330876330925,79.53779347529348,65.01965601965603,11.01004641004641,33.42192192192192,9.150863307647796,2.5510077532077537,1516,44,337,20,18,502,191,407,0.08,0.8370000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.4963,1,2,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,3,2,0,23,14,1,1,16,0,26,2,0,6,9,78,55,43,0,7,21,3,5,5,1,1,2,1,13,1,16,22,0,1,11,1,1,5,12,5,0,1,3,9,47,9,47,47,15,71,0,1,3,0,19,29,0,10,38,224,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410119755601461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044083377880967,0.0,0.06211961412225321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004679701573341,0.0722873523542262,0.07591328294979226,0.0,0.0,0.06243963365994928,0.06780061259150794,0.04950022965176398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994867787938952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052368830615934746,0.0,0.06993950856416685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726683938520157,0.07345222017800182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655039636343845,0.0,0.2052918677613403,0.0580110111426712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273677319553853,0.0,0.04242490275610533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017055910949071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887157712471689,0.08065230591373544,0.0,0.09369666773476427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455980435937413,0.0,0.06619079434805153,0.09159984469234142,0.08598161742914821,0.08822664573897351,0.0,0.05735565691389152,0.1983569559646816,0.0,0.14340641467803222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903537708033118,0.0,0.0,0.10840646576231512,0.0,0.0,0.08845321944463451,0.0,0.08180287557859485,0.2454987620886847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481498136352883,0.25891590255569585,0.0,0.0602105510593513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520825961139923,0.0,0.055024848113883265,0.061758084701051076,0.0,0.0,0.09016565609976193,0.0,0.0,0.11259104034283005,0.07090280399457018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218116449591849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251357509574955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484834193323599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061054099413057325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428224565572653,0.0,0.10406243886318324,0.0,0.06446563560136176,0.3314484092103506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026219934876312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402656042717262,0.0,0.0,0.09579055939386903,0.0,0.0651356676283296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654507245279128,0.09065958025407324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059116314680395535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878207758107258,0.0,0.15687505079142058
mentalhealth,Sevelyth,2018/02/13,"Long time lurker needing advice for my own well being. I’m a high schooler and have been slowing trudging though school. I’m one of the catholic prep school kids so there is a lot of pressure from my parents and staff to do well and to honor the sacrifice my parents have to make to send me to a 10k a year school.

A little background to my life. My mom died of cancer when I was 4 and my dad took it pretty hard. He got remarried 5 years ago and it recently has been rough because his kidneys are failing and he always feels like garbage (it does run in the family). My mom can’t take his bad moods and it puts her down so sometimes she just flips and calls him out and it throws the family into a spiral. They have worked it out and have scheduled counseling and my dad thinks he might have some underlying depression.

For my part of the story I have always been the do the least work possible type of kid. Score As and Bs but then in homework late and get Cs on tests without studying, just to keep my parents happy so I can drive and game. 

I started to ask myself why I’m like this, why I dread everything such as getting up in the morning. At this point all I look forward to is commuting listening to music and talking with the friends I have. 

About a year ago I voiced my thoughts to my parents and was quickly rushed to a psychiatrist and put on Adderall due to them thinking I was ADHD. This drug destroyed my social life. I became socially anxious but the grades greatly improved. After about two months I decided to take two of my medication to see what the Adderall High was like. It ended with me shaking in my car crying talking to my dad and flushing my pills down the toilet. 

Now since it’s been a year I still struggle with day to day classes and feel down a lot. All I want to do is drive and listen to music and forget about life. Waking up in the morning is a chore. I don’t know if medicine is right but I think I need someone to talk to. I would be open to medication but I don’t want it to ruin me as a person. I don’t know where to go. ",3.6732148499210098,4.653841424170622,4.6040568720379165,87.10804423380726,71.96208530805688,7.238041074249605,27.810742496050548,7.42949916751922,1.4122073301737763,1619,58,339,17,30,526,218,422,0.098,0.8270000000000001,0.075,-0.8693,4,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,4,18,19,1,4,25,0,34,10,2,1,2,59,64,35,1,6,8,9,4,3,1,2,8,3,2,3,13,28,0,1,9,1,0,13,5,9,2,3,11,9,47,9,61,49,8,61,1,3,2,0,34,25,0,5,28,233,60,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745189429278486,0.07923815436284035,0.14375905605484565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494325205349442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160624273115804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580623752875656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770500685771119,0.049430429312237886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279980889296193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890712471370965,0.10458997051676404,0.0,0.06984088677032042,0.0,0.08415643484179335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096056500832744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403621668656524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181980847979283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287657314510268,0.0,0.15288490509586528,0.0,0.08200095417046294,0.0579292097388697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626483079883945,0.0,0.08473015868884963,0.0,0.046084120472731374,0.0,0.06485339866163653,0.08939969258437329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631957406052414,0.0726388283254674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134763019315027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720746485178054,0.0,0.0,0.08912757499580642,0.0,0.09147067962977418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182433887787332,0.11884635153469605,0.08127137523657488,0.0,0.07176023705851824,0.06809341087717821,0.0,0.0,0.13787606040698006,0.0,0.0,0.054126800830536115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337505047035386,0.0,0.08602144438401177,0.0,0.189938329607178,0.06472358567228903,0.0,0.0,0.12025129616278835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494725750253175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601540535537299,0.08781029037176864,0.0,0.0,0.0708028238565589,0.0,0.0,0.076654272483634,0.09141442006075838,0.0,0.08249554276017912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303146599955814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006451566006667,0.0,0.0,0.06924862088555643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461958421803886,0.06461655533428415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670767462449066,0.0,0.0,0.1653177984752114,0.06870551189297723,0.0,0.08019800343432379,0.0,0.05739443077439625,0.0,0.06475689920021258,0.0,0.0,0.08477067589723969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193601389289427,0.1955261398907424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587355042005402,0.07966844698665769,0.06437473252304482,0.04728300476694885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009163705315856,0.0,0.0,0.15842218545453332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565548499893946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581551513436422,0.0,0.14633842905163855,0.0,0.0,0.07816583897162238,0.0,0.1180659093732172,0.0,0.0,0.057602515423771025,0.0,0.0,0.20887178809880425
mentalhealth,shadowpplthrowaway,2018/02/13,"Please help think i am losing my mind (hell) i barely slept last night (2hr). when i woke up everything was dizzy and i was nauseous for a few hours. probably my high wearing off. i have to write a paper for tomorrow, but i needed to do something a week ago and didnt and now im fucked. i didnt eat all day then half a pizza pie and fell asleep and felt better but now it feels like there are bugs under my skin scratching me. i had to switch to my phone earbuds on my computer because my regular headphones hurt my head and possibly fucking with my brain. i havent started the project and thinking about it makes me nauseous. i saw some shadowy figure outside but now its gone-need to make sure it doesnt sneak up on me so checking every few minutes. this happened a couple weeks back too during a test i panicked and had weird tactile sensations. wrote incoherent. i feel like shit and i need to do this project but i cant do it.

please help im 17/m in US previously diagnosed major depressive and general anxiety. not on medication currently. i had such a good day yesterday why is this happening to me? my body feels like shit and my mind wants to claw its way out of it. ",2.35914844649022,4.426292481012664,3.747228615266593,87.3842261219793,77.77637130801688,7.178289221327198,26.384541618718835,8.150884317080207,1.7175080168776375,926,37,190,17,22,304,145,237,0.15,0.741,0.109,-0.9051,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,2,10,15,5,0,8,0,17,15,9,2,2,38,37,18,0,3,5,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,13,2,0,7,0,1,1,6,9,0,1,12,7,30,6,22,25,5,30,1,3,1,2,6,10,5,1,21,118,40,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033537734478481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919428705156547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089653786275936,0.0,0.07107477654302118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311814489807797,0.0,0.12950993462209276,0.0,0.13015775023367954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290093271034775,0.0,0.1503872996158614,0.0,0.10042246223295513,0.11834071600670605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930503213615427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823568972798333,0.0,0.10478739965600366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686067797930002,0.2498848803130635,0.11194877061283363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557902262600054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779373053304348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20620783184018487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965934456127104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630134479367974,0.12318823340807256,0.0,0.0,0.11482185647858617,0.0,0.12481656298925542,0.0,0.251883609281236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503988063467864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088619289395038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304391493115251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565514309893005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745644703525132,0.0,0.0,0.23545392345587704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729063275941007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094158113665746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25597096196752994,0.0,0.13144250553817655,0.0,0.0,0.12570832854970942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23936465748241845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975995489502618,0.0,0.0,0.08252601482249652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988870686756767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941778332656647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024853463692885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877031330709815,0.09254709375391117,0.18704975933375487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052081813694355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hanssolo1999,2018/02/13,My classmate tried to commit suicide. This is the first time that I ever wrote on Reddit but I don't know how to react or how to talk to him after surviving suicide. The reason why find talking to him difficult is because my aunt commmited suicide before I was born and I just worry that I will say the wrong things to him.,5.317615384615387,5.626466569230771,6.359807692307693,78.40894230769231,67.92307692307692,8.346153846153845,30.09615384615385,8.07648339933343,2.1161538461538467,257,9,48,3,4,86,46,65,0.324,0.623,0.054000000000000006,-0.9779,0,0,0,0,0,4,3.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,4,2,13,7,5,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,10,0,8,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,5,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683272949154775,0.0,0.17704552887559286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882040878987745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901649967754747,0.17697752224237792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434549291767995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392249907386568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545933878402794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6827585268566155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344648813067505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822721899763746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132268799998573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126051335043074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774368991297996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112971696116944,0.0,0.0,0.22748325227490146,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheMarvelisa,2018/02/13,"Need Advice. Which type of therapist should I go to? I live in Cincinnati, so if anyone has someone they could recommend I appreciate it. I am suffering from anxiety, grief and who knows what else (maybe depression). It was today I realized  I need help.

Almost 5 years ago, my mom passed away unexpectedly and I was the one who found her. At first I was strong and somehow was able to hold myself together externally. 

I thought for a while I was okay, but now I feel like I am walking on a thread. There have been several triggers to cause flash backs and to amp up my anxiety. My cousin committed suicide and my childhood dog passed within the last 2 years; which slowly caused my mental health to diminish.

I purchased a puppy about a year and a half ago to have a companion and to have someone to take care of. He has greatly help, but today he has fallen ill and is currently staying at the veterinarian hospital for further treatment. 

This has caused a great deal of pain and resulted in a panic attack. At work, I slowly started tearing, but then suddenly couldn't breathe and my vision became blurry. I ran to the bathroom and started sobbing. Flashbacks of seeing my mother's dead body flooded my mind and all I could think of was death and how everything I love seems to disappear. I shortly left work and cancelled all of my meetings now feel dead and empty inside. This is not the first time an attack like this happened, but this one has been the worst.  

If anyone has recommendations or has experienced something similar, I would appreciate your help in what you did to stabilize your mental health. 
",5.855957142857143,7.2742491766666735,6.226095238095237,75.86900000000003,67.23333333333333,9.314285714285717,32.285714285714285,9.606745405546679,3.148071428571428,1283,54,224,27,21,413,172,300,0.209,0.6579999999999999,0.133,-0.9836,1,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,3,1,5,8,17,2,1,15,1,28,7,2,6,3,51,46,26,5,9,8,3,2,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,12,15,0,1,8,0,1,7,2,9,0,5,12,4,34,8,31,29,3,42,0,4,1,1,19,13,1,6,23,160,46,3,0.1007574830825422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845904634497334,0.17863085878804272,0.0,0.10089406491888933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917069082390267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415839754557187,0.0,0.0,0.14090394979896806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292523656578582,0.0946649720895708,0.0774762851022133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191884955608933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272896913688648,0.3105170701555613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608933030607852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387654081186552,0.08678227253760737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416994819762387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055432891457488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189202174032357,0.0719811660464652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714085272760526,0.0,0.11047537957297182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05726279959291755,0.0,0.0,0.2221709616073308,0.0,0.0,0.08909950953319416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21420098576883947,0.0,0.0,0.20260685110091384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055373677666339764,0.08213079663439804,0.0,0.0,0.10947330018159876,0.0,0.0,0.09845003355414836,0.0,0.08897070352454785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909375623167772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122443448260733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307968906853255,0.0,0.1017363351836408,0.11800594642730645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494207940245453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655175632177682,0.0,0.10721306593058373,0.11821719698486675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029066890147545,0.09172582841193212,0.0,0.11382727640594498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074297689089374,0.07756803304218568,0.0,0.0,0.14263333024348546,0.10739407075628306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102123328910488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575708785458538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698720374116164,0.0,0.06456132675044092,0.0,0.07999018684746323,0.05875249865564554,0.0,0.19101262539797126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670529539984506,0.0,0.0,0.07157522510842104,0.0,0.0,0.19465354692393574
mentalhealth,pbjvaillancourt,2018/02/14,"mental health on social media Hey everyone, I'm Patrick Vaillancourt also known was pbjvaillancourt on most social media platforms. I'm a Mental Health Advocate. I spend most of my time spreading awareness about MH, I document my journey so others can relate and feel less alone. All I wanted to know was that other people were going through something similar. 

That being said, I'd like to ask for your help. My Instagram is currently fully dedicated to MH videos. My youtube channel however is just catching up. What are some things you would like to see more of on youtube about mental health? 
- Specific topics
- Q&A's
- Coping techniques
- Resources
etc..
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mentalhealth,FromTOwithLove,2018/02/14,"When I 'be myself' I don't have a lot to offer (socially).. Is this normal? When I talk with other people I basically go with the flow of the conversation and add in my 2 cents where I can. For some reason Im just not very engaged socially and I can't 'act' very excited/animated/dramatic. The conversations are not awkward just very superficial small-chat.

This has led me to have a lot of 'acquaintances' and few friends.",2.6498780487804865,4.975447097560977,4.956280487804875,77.78490853658538,78.02439024390246,8.978048780487804,26.103658536585364,9.516144504307137,2.702580487804877,330,13,64,10,8,115,58,82,0.035,0.901,0.064,0.2661,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,5,0,9,0,0,2,0,16,10,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,1,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,9,2,8,9,4,8,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,3,2,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008711979916306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247215752338026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517805035678903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963347679325692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22838170827405316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159737852100406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396584870820207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4752180407562552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873513720694843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5769785574771978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Confession33,2018/02/14,"Someone asked me to help them, and I started crying. I don't have a history with anything, other than overwork, and stress.
This past week, I've been going at my work none stop
I would wake up, work until I sleep. I have a project due, and a lot of things to get done, and I still don't feel like I manage to get anything done. As an example, yesterday I decided to take a break at 17:00, have a shower, and then study for my exam. 
Work suddenly piled, next thing I knew it was already 4am, and so I went to sleep. Today, the same thing happened, until I just shut off everything and told everyone to back off.
I feel like I should be working now, I want to work now. But I need to balance that with my exams. 
And then, someone who I love, excitedly showed me something that they need my help with. It will only take me couple of hours to do. And for some reason, I suddenly felt heavy heavy weight on my heart, I was speechless (which never happens to me), and when said felt I am uncomfortable and left, I somehow ended up crying. 
This is very odd, very very odd. ",3.2086569767441833,4.3681338511627965,4.304578488372094,88.13454215116282,73.27906976744187,7.23546511627907,25.065406976744185,7.6454224807358475,1.118261627906977,818,25,175,10,16,267,124,215,0.1,0.823,0.077,-0.6017,2,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,2,5,8,5,0,1,7,0,17,6,4,1,1,34,38,19,0,5,2,0,5,2,0,3,0,1,1,0,12,14,1,1,7,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,11,6,31,4,28,23,4,34,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,3,24,122,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862967349264048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769277998857474,0.0,0.1004986242231344,0.0,0.0,0.08266138725645232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894745766311532,0.2361688981522475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22002103804446085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521369453866066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272150652751916,0.09661467945037022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871114762805184,0.1535970144641816,0.20643502220931895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232933668825128,0.0,0.06109511376667125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012499249716674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273888233299728,0.14411087949960374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586651538250508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679980330257825,0.0,0.0,0.10503880430371462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139323382822524,0.09702356075678882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942078408553806,0.08291115157999654,0.0,0.11432819268973153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175911126405085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262156296262498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105286031960352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225776403534194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515663130006796,0.0,0.1821699545283756,0.08275927542940785,0.0,0.0,0.07608953456776793,0.0,0.08585018186806595,0.08987538199551183,0.12314166566968238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165426538733382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21425602504118946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189807486292536,0.10272150652751916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26609795800885805,0.06340668627791593,0.0,0.08623056111052292,0.13090686732075832,0.0,0.09965420731189194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39130887663302505,0.0,0.0,0.07636539868747426,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chrisandtaika,2018/02/14,"A regimen that worked for a friend He’s 25 and had moderate to severe depression for 11 years. 

I have a friend who got better by taking fish oil tablets with a 2:1 ratio of EPA and DHA (x2 daily).

He also incorporated daily gratitude, meditation, and everything in this program: https://tlc.ku.edu/elements

Here’s a good talk he heard that steered him in constructing his regimen: https://youtu.be/drv3BP0Fdi8

He found research meditation helps grow parts of the brain that shrink during depression and he incorporated it, he thinks the spillover of mindfulness in daily life has helped him regulate his thoughts better. He also found evidence that a good diet that supports gut health helps as most neurotransmitters are made in the gut but he hasn’t incorporated it into his routine yet.

He spoke to a doctor before starting (Omega-3s can thin blood so discuss before any supplementation). Omega-3s are slightly controversial so he did some research of overall health benefits and side effects as well before taking the plunge. Also he got his vitamin D levels checked along with any other nutritional deficiencies or potential health concerns (low iron, underactive thyroid) to eliminate other contributing factors during this process.

It took a month or two for him to see changes.

Sorry if this isn't the correct format, but I thought I would post this here as a an example routine that helped someone. Wishing everyone the best!",9.649,11.161260900000002,8.497500000000006,62.6375,58.75,11.566666666666665,40.16666666666667,11.34169021259432,5.158616666666667,1176,58,167,31,15,363,147,240,0.039,0.8140000000000001,0.147,0.9752,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,5,9,13,0,0,16,0,10,12,4,2,1,27,27,18,0,3,5,0,1,0,2,1,7,2,0,0,16,9,1,0,6,0,1,2,2,3,1,1,12,5,10,10,23,14,4,16,0,3,1,0,29,9,0,5,4,99,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702636088242356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321462612388365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875760024414212,0.0,0.11822146290614564,0.1992633131204225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257570360943666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917101897639824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940542331907497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530423102667076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764394014260477,0.1012444727810377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470344972839902,0.17406951614698174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18897452788430916,0.180196402552638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592318467812233,0.0,0.0,0.30203339906424803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956953265810761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065941715244935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374654024612628,0.0,0.08991785734548614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219912815568082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788960294702482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089769164429845,0.0,0.0,0.1272648444967547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095449786242086,0.0,0.0,0.12610483929492305,0.07973575915475116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783630489893413,0.0,0.0,0.16940076772033266,0.0905455168642212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218293777052814,0.0,0.17886641957598629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516066414465582,0.0,0.0,0.1100447643938226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012877960361821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954439274784796,0.0,0.0,0.08201209409301398,0.0,0.0,0.08002484273415919,0.0,0.0,0.07254427984281925
mentalhealth,mugsy5,2018/02/14,"Helpful resources Hey y’all. I’ve struggled with Depression and anxiety for the last thirteen years. 

About a year ago, I started volunteering for two organizations that help people struggling with Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. 

One is Crisis Text Line. Text START to 741-741 and you’ll be connected with a live crisis counselor for free.

The other is called Letters Against Depression. Fill out the form and you’ll receive letters of hope and love! www.lettersagainst.org/request 

",7.531388888888888,11.11179502469136,5.985910493827162,70.18034722222225,67.8888888888889,8.988271604938271,36.050925925925924,9.516144504307137,4.349011111111111,411,21,55,10,8,121,58,81,0.298,0.551,0.151,-0.9381,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,1,8,0,2,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,9,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,0,2,0,0,4,4,11,6,1,9,0,3,0,1,11,1,0,1,6,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711281973529654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29536720427569724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712680961979648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988240205185173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587962343908366,0.0,0.0,0.1917433523431572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736245428775092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046770322530816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423620102961435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455015412838053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081645614464946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383736072114746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732851966633633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036379579218343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858292313222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24863722367238045
mentalhealth,Frend-with-no-frends,2018/02/14,"I think I have a mental illness, what do I do? Throwaway account because I don't feel comfortable irl people knowing about this. I'm a 16 year old guy if that helps. My family isn't that easy to talk too (that's probably me being an unsociable teen though) so I came here.

Something just feels 'off' about me, like I kinda feel that I have multiple personalities. Sometimes when there's a lot of noise going on at once I feel like plugging my ears and curling up into a ball. These are the main symptoms and started within the last year or so. What do I do?

Thanks for any responses :)
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mentalhealth,beyond_ironic,2018/02/14,"If something bad happens, it ruins my day So I have this problem where anything bad, regardless of how insignificant it may be, completely ruins my day and sometimes for even longer periods of time. For example, today I got involved in a near accident where the person who almost hit me threatened to beat my face in. After he pulled away, I just felt like shit even though I know it won't affect me any more because it's over. And it wasn't even that big of a deal! But I've been laying in bed ever since just thinking about it. This is just one of many examples. I don't know why any sort of conflict makes me feel so bad for so long. Does anyone know what this may be, or how to beat it?",4.475035460992906,4.870925581560286,5.2490780141843985,85.33333333333334,69.78014184397163,8.252482269503545,27.723404255319142,8.167268648758528,1.6250340425531915,541,17,114,7,9,176,93,141,0.224,0.76,0.016,-0.9848,0,0,1,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,16,8,1,0,3,0,10,2,2,4,1,26,20,11,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,13,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,4,2,11,1,18,10,1,18,0,2,0,0,5,9,1,6,9,77,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336655585860674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188893850651592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140750598364574,0.0,0.13425476664984964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328047753014015,0.0,0.40865879339932376,0.09945192405244313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105485218288566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21043057786886865,0.16819574789243494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276964250802965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232680021567088,0.1475743582204906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249121826228717,0.0,0.1566451725108534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304822832409239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426894201190904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689813423469557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797046036297342,0.0,0.0,0.14437854870425293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890082405307933,0.1654038330304083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055154802547718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245227401125746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561081184147577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674664128023768,0.13495556413429488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559730260660784,0.16135497622986045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453698739723426,0.1602895311518479,0.0,0.09513139708640353,0.0,0.1546427669549401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472133515174046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flubberplop,2018/02/14,"emotional deprivation disorder Hi, i just found out about the term ""emotional deprivation disorder"" and it really resonates with me. when i was a baby i had a traumatic experience in which i was isolated for 2 weeks with not human contact. i think that this is the reason why i couldn't develope emotionally. i always asked myself why i don't feel emotions, why i don't feel love and connection to others. i always thought i am a bad person. could this be emotional deprivation disorder? ",4.8776685393258425,7.437435910112362,7.045379213483147,64.36559691011237,71.92134831460675,11.641011235955055,32.473314606741575,11.20814326018867,4.954650561797751,392,19,62,16,8,138,58,89,0.319,0.629,0.052000000000000005,-0.9766,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,1,0,15,17,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,2,13,1,7,9,1,5,0,3,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,46,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20855640551280408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715944423941944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463889561418303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000596683816001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4308906801240819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7048536641143224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225892683804524,0.0,0.0,0.1267334526933766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740944631146926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310827928506338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942660873347282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028468198312284,0.12885220890442678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030147709112137,0.0,0.09949191690987387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052599917916638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33925168121005633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phlunque,2018/02/14,"Not Normal or Not Abnormal? Not sure what I'm looking for - affirmation? Sharing what I went through to support anyone else in a similar situation?

About me: I am emotional, a perfectionist, ambitious, organized, humorous, caring, somewhat narcissistic, and always, always thinking. 

I've experienced anxiety in the past - usually around a time of high stress - and have been able to shake it off. 

Earlier last year: finished graduate school, broke up with boyfriend to experience the single life, spent the summer partying hard, felt independent and freed of all responsibilities 

Stress level: 0/10 

Early fall last year: ex- re-enters picture, roommate moves out, I'm financially screwed (having spent most of my money over the summer), I start two new jobs, realize I have zero interest in following through with plans to do PhD 

Stress level: subconscious 7/10

I went out one night and drank a lot more than usual - I think I was subconsciously trying to drown all of the above. I woke up the next morning feeling really off - drank a huge cup of coffee - and had a major panic attack. 

After that - I had serious anxiety for several weeks. I blamed my ex- (we were trying to work things out at the time) and decided that I needed to end things with him for good.

Major concern: sometimes, when I get really anxious, I fear that I'm accidentally going to eat or drink something that's been contaminated with drugs. I am 110% aware that this is irrational, but I think I know where it comes from... When I smoked weed several years ago, I unexpectedly had a panic attack (had smoked weed in the past). I was super rattled by this experience and how I couldn't control or get out of it - I just needed to let it run its course. That feeling of being trapped in something I can't control is terrifying for me. So, I guess when I'm feeling anxious and out of control, I go back to that experience and fear it might happen again - even if it is super irrational. 

Possible source of feels: I found out around this time that my iron levels were in the super-anemic range. Once I started taking supplements, the brain-fog and racing heart symptoms I felt pretty frequently started to go away a bit - hooray!  

Mid fall last year: anxiety started to go away, took on a third job, started seeing someone new, started studying for law school admissions test, struggled to cover bills/debt (even with three jobs!), worked seven days a week, mourned the end of my relationship that I didn't really want to end - I realized I had pushed my ex- away because I was afraid that he was my anxiety trigger. I felt really stupid for not being able to juggle everything - I scolded myself for not being stronger, and isolated myself from close friend and family because I didn't want them to see me falling apart like I was.

Stress level: who knows 
Exhaustion level: 11/10

End fall last year: I quit one job to focus on the law exam. I sacrificed some financial security to do this, but didn't care at this point. I went to my parents' place just before the exam to visit. I find home to be mildly stressful for various reasons, but it's not often been a trigger for me. However, I experienced several panic attacks over the course of my visit - awful intense feelings of fear and dread that I had a hard time shaking. Felt so much better when I went to run errands or jumped into the bath with a book or watched a movie on my own - but when I had to socialize I just went full-blown fight-or-flight. 

Stress level: 11/10
Exhaustion level: 11/10 

I thought I was losing my mind - I was so freaked out. Hadn't I established that it was my low iron that had caused all that angst and irrational thinking earlier in the fall? How come this was happening now - after two months on supplements. I went back to that awful place where I was afraid of eating something contaminated. I was predominantly afraid of psychedelics this time around - I guess because they can trigger ""schizophrenic-like"" symptoms and I was absolutely terrified of losing control. 

I talked to my therapist and they said that what I was experiencing was ""not normal, but not abnormal"" - Um, what? I chewed on that statement for days. The one comfort I had was that my therapist wasn't rushing me off to the hospital or throwing prescriptions at me for medication - they just seemed to think I was hella stressed out. But, I'm stubborn and dramatic and couldn't accept that it was that simple.

Winter last year: I took the exam, signed a contract for a full-time job. Fixed things with my ex- Spent Christmas with my family and didn't have any panic attacks. I was painfully conscious of my thoughts and feelings and often on-edge but felt relatively comfortable, overall. 

Now: feeling 85% better. I still struggle trying to accept that things went sideways because I took on too much, that I was stressed and dealing with burnout. That's what my therapist seems to think. I'm working full-time, doing some extra-curricular stuff that I love, slowly mending my relationship with my man, opening up to friends and family about what was going on, and just trying to stay positive and not focus too much on fearing that that whole thing is going to happen again! 

So, for anyone out there who has experienced something similar - you are not alone!! It sucks, but I guess that's what happens in life - it can really drag you down sometimes and it's up to you to decide how you'll respond. It's much easier to say that than feel it myself, but I'm working on it. 

Much love. 

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mentalhealth,TaigaPomTopAisaka,2018/02/14,"Join me if you'd like Hello 
I know this will die here but I am documenting everything I can remember from my past life and life to come because my Memory I feel is slowly getting worse I do not want to forget my life.

I suffer from mental illness and I will be bringing it up a lot in my ""blog""

If anyone is interested they are welcome to join me on my journey.

Thank you.
Sebastian Mogg (@SebastianMogg)
https://twitter.com/SebastianMogg?s=09

Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download?s=13",4.9823595505618,8.292065269662924,5.647292134831459,70.42621910112359,76.07865168539325,8.054382022471911,26.877528089887644,8.841846274778883,2.693978876404495,415,16,66,10,10,134,67,89,0.157,0.657,0.18600000000000005,0.2677,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,0,0,13,18,5,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,17,4,9,14,1,8,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,3,2,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746275512683629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224226917876213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513325334709946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25919594032611903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445475428706452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627860521782064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609629696959448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725335236368755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5292069604669943,0.1220128201258912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21232431716499287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516842775874981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23840991690256286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829124655862928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22993169490600254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730610575567218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545115502048701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jackofgilead,2018/02/14,"Berated for trying to offer advice. So a lot of study and research has been conducted to find the reason behind certain mental health conditions. Nobody, not one bit of research, has concluded that its a chemical imbalance. Not one biomarker has been found to prove it has anything to do with chemicals. Research has shown time and time again it isnt a chemical imbalance. Why are doctors and people still spouting that it is and prescribing chemical altering medication based on the belief that it is a chemical imbalance? I just got absolutely shut down on another thread for suggesting that its not a chemical imbalance and downvoted to fuck. I wasnt belittling any one merely sharing information. When I have struggled with bouts of depression i have taken other steps that have had much better results without the use of any medication. If people wanted to change and not suffer shouldnt they be more open to other suggestions? ",8.709631901840488,9.835354349693253,8.720374233128833,61.5739355828221,60.71779141104294,12.900368098159511,39.612883435582816,12.340626583579946,5.7939182822085895,761,38,108,26,10,248,99,163,0.058,0.875,0.067,0.1053,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,5,7,1,1,8,0,19,5,0,4,2,29,25,9,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,13,9,0,0,7,0,0,1,8,4,0,3,7,0,5,3,20,16,4,11,1,2,0,1,6,5,1,2,5,87,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767235231463662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336942235367875,0.1799234172932776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412010781257728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517543248175062,0.18732802908535132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815157766813627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778721017272367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562606436719744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682696215907488,0.0,0.0,0.1881357524117258,0.0,0.1586289641641739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723340727248245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238843704689675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587671534128216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457107152754835,0.1729188451315132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613582830597514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34881438087892297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23791296342102994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641951061499772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702920903207472,0.0,0.0,0.1793794763303766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010694841465013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116495977479682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481956533873211,0.0,0.0,0.10120616961953867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483013726417424,0.0,0.0,0.1654032731631284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,everythingisallowed,2018/02/14,Constantly living in fear I have this constant fear of dying because of which i can sleep nor function properly because of stress and worry. I just read that anxiety and sleeplessness increases the probability of getting a stroke or cancer and that has just increased my anxiety. I dont know what to do.,8.88884848484848,8.991220672727273,8.93818181818182,63.63393939393943,60.45454545454545,12.424242424242426,41.96969696969697,11.855464076750405,5.459424242424244,247,13,38,7,3,81,41,55,0.348,0.619,0.033,-0.9607,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,2,0,5,3,1,0,0,7,7,5,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,6,7,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,30,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31988382081180833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25490053046539896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518719036811344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169869873853086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450345078424433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4705353193738806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092331317809234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490222956601473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846171797117548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254183635163739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913171944709924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092261323109728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394948673319408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123259541751309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mordybear,2018/02/14,"Getting better is a jagged line I just need to vent and commiserate. Does anyone else find themselves frustrated with the whole ""one step forward, two steps back"" routine that seems to pave the road to recovery?

I don't know what's actually wrong with me. I've had anxiety and depression for a while and struggle with codependent tendencies, though I think there's something else off in my brain. Sometimes I think NPD or BPD or bipolar, and sometimes I think a diagnosis doesn't matter because the end result is that I'm a jerk to those I love anyway.

Anyways. I am growing increasingly frustrated with my inability to change. As soon as I see progress, I start to regress. I've been to therapy. I've been on medication. I exercise. I've tried CBD. I've tried meditation and reading self-help articles on the internet. I'll rehash conversations in my head and try to figure out what the ""right"" way to respond would be versus how I actually responded so that, in theory, I'll do better next time. And yet I still hear myself say things that horrify me. It's like there are two people inside my brain-- the one who cares about other people, and the one who is a self-serving bitch. And no matter how hard I try to fight her, the self-serving bitch has the stronger voice.

I recognize that a lot of my problems are related to my situation (I am unhappy in my relationship, my living situation is not stable, my credit card and student loan debt mean I'm not financially independent in spite of working full time while I'm in grad school, and I've isolated myself from my friends and family to the point where most of them seem to want nothing to do with me). I feel trapped and I don't know how to change it. My situation exacerbates my mental health problems, and my mental health problems make it feel impossible to improve my situation. 

I don't want to kill myself, but I wish I didn't exist. ",6.021779741997138,6.721359653846158,6.8558002866698535,74.09789536550406,66.47252747252746,10.396368848542762,33.408504538939326,10.374825546531014,3.4940887720974683,1510,64,281,37,23,502,192,364,0.135,0.787,0.078,-0.8966,1,1,1,0,1,1,45.0,0,0,1,4,16,21,8,1,16,0,21,9,3,6,0,57,45,26,1,8,7,0,3,1,1,1,5,3,0,0,15,20,0,0,12,2,3,5,8,14,0,5,4,7,42,7,40,39,5,32,0,1,1,1,13,16,2,6,13,180,57,6,0.0,0.0,0.16529645801266765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478997442404243,0.0,0.0,0.059219370784020765,0.08677806907764747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512375076756118,0.0,0.0516281155064858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498082935903441,0.0,0.0,0.10666796950271434,0.1890909740408759,0.0,0.0,0.0863502396101328,0.0,0.1791880975851043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294602574614485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411548508943268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150040160828514,0.0,0.07501293068742239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984109838120786,0.0,0.08564673203246027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740794082231729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543366355731728,0.0,0.04424863874880185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758683643096451,0.0,0.08691953408675587,0.1800495673349898,0.09545525652331373,0.0,0.05676798630483707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370034475293554,0.0,0.09309020376153686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137676090031861,0.0,0.0747855413343987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200302800635851,0.07643881138485535,0.0,0.05653328858674553,0.0,0.0,0.09225559280300002,0.0,0.08531936798769739,0.1707014093332557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279884571587183,0.0,0.0,0.09007205145653556,0.0,0.0,0.08126529449416266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217066875057416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743103570849568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800623358711331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431195186761985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471599920150384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092867247462824,0.0,0.07232742760862926,0.0,0.06735133658806759,0.0,0.08571391855959988,0.06748941955079732,0.15420279845803034,0.26506006010359945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807942819141663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520087075296464,0.16752724353424636,0.0,0.05994619797315653,0.0,0.06763600313142963,0.0,0.0,0.08853959610870757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685391811370553,0.0,0.05626631908939492,0.16280371782043598,0.08321052114008612,0.0,0.09877043212316924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000416782002725,0.0,0.1654656656484189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990834587251902,0.06722542480628665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455679931295058,0.0973928623279698,0.0,0.0,0.061657570967015914,0.0,0.0,0.060163534105221815,0.09259858769358366,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AliNightmare666,2018/02/14,"First time posting but I need help I need help, I don't know how else to put it.
For the last two years I've had enough of my life, but the emptiness and exsistance crisis has got me bad in the last two months.
I'm really not happy with anything.
I have two beautiful children who aren't allowed to live with me because of my mental health, long story short I got post natal phychosis and they never gave me a chance to recover.
I hate myself everyday for that.
I have an online following and I shitpost to hide the fact I honestly just want to kill myself but I don't have the fucking nerves to do it.
I keep trying but always end up fine and it's like I'm stuck in this never ending loop of despair.
I'm in a mentally abusive relationship I can't seem to leave, I'm stuck living with my mum because my best friend trashed my flat, robbed me and now wants me dead and I'm too scared to live with my partner alone again.
Im diagnosed with BPD and DID but I've had enough as I can't escape life.
Even living as someone else would probably have flaws.
I feel like everyone around me hates me, all I do is bring misery and hurt everywhere I go.
I'm on medication but i don't want to take it anymore, it's the same shit everyday, people think me waking up and taking these fucking pills will magically fix all my problems.
If anyone knows how to fix just one small thing please help I'm at my wit's end and I really can't cope anymore and I just needed to let this all out before I lose it again.
Sorry for the rant Reddit I just really needed to let it out :(",2.1189439088518824,3.788562064417178,3.755008764241897,88.87823619631905,77.12883435582822,6.865731814198071,22.07230499561788,7.7094869923839395,0.8446918492550397,1227,34,264,18,28,409,170,326,0.253,0.629,0.118,-0.9954,1,1,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,1,3,12,19,6,1,10,0,22,10,2,3,6,56,56,22,2,10,12,1,1,2,2,2,6,0,0,2,13,19,0,1,5,0,0,4,10,12,0,5,8,1,40,7,35,44,7,35,0,3,0,2,11,12,3,2,19,164,53,0,0.0,0.10283288927603827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898890795647979,0.0,0.0,0.07221688661718004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214627666487006,0.060686135557718825,0.0,0.07142142182404401,0.0772622002554697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246668105672219,0.1058137151656996,0.0,0.07385256644284023,0.0,0.0910815753413678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930995671191818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809082085864174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500512990572206,0.0,0.23061262657861706,0.179356165155692,0.0,0.0573244956098203,0.0,0.0,0.08293231536073872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388402917310269,0.06200335486025457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382419823478688,0.0,0.0,0.06705434597000144,0.1604733662584224,0.0,0.0,0.04932520377843563,0.0,0.13882904010730485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239040556545892,0.0,0.1713758656468017,0.0,0.09225454699822758,0.0,0.0,0.17452210315431005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092911331463085,0.0,0.09374894225400876,0.0,0.0,0.07714363839282723,0.096021145584613,0.0,0.09539589242127927,0.14149214880433453,0.0,0.09189891077414247,0.0,0.17749891788198896,0.12260579772101785,0.08480318813564973,0.0,0.3065514164768072,0.07680711446353163,0.0,0.0970966893110909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743258604154923,0.17492939775521638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927557735306553,0.0,0.0,0.2574170723887529,0.13387680929138618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588116827570197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016980303353733,0.0,0.0,0.09527022024447658,0.0,0.0,0.16624316359832264,0.0,0.09357514661381812,0.08304706085063765,0.0,0.08724871170627647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680119975070007,0.0,0.0,0.09318082361941718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689271756136459,0.0,0.0,0.07901107194074325,0.0,0.0,0.08908949461223045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353755133133337,0.0,0.0,0.09715517926106236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051173965131968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057659941711407786,0.05561203121066989,0.0,0.0,0.050608405269804736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058925246597405626,0.0,0.2543459601836305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357436276416372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165368422533307,0.0,0.0,0.05589042063651819
mentalhealth,magenta_cat,2018/02/14,"suggestions for measuring progress while trying meds? I've decided to go back to trying medication for my anxiety disorder (primary symptom is chronic depersonalization). Maybe this sounds strange but I find it hard to quantify if I am actually feeling better - I might feel better one day but then the following day I'll start to feel worse and then feel like all my progress was ""imagined"". My anxiety symptoms significantly impair my ability to concentrate/cognitive abilities so maybe I should do lumosity exercises or something? Does anyone have any suggestions for tracking how I'm doing? I feel like my subjective experience of ""how I feel"" just isn't enough.",7.522468043264504,10.149226300884957,8.20755162241888,58.581376597836815,64.75221238938053,12.80983284169125,40.874139626352026,12.06081838636515,6.436235791543758,544,32,77,22,9,181,79,113,0.098,0.685,0.217,0.9527,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,2,1,20,19,11,0,2,5,0,7,2,0,2,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,9,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,8,11,4,9,16,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,9,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.14701462323557504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024485282011218,0.0,0.23049674007323684,0.0,0.0,0.10533938341731958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584209120859415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266478908314672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431615777047012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726602474566976,0.0,0.13183658315908736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556637910452056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473665669074758,0.0,0.0,0.4570450761919698,0.2152516422658828,0.0,0.0,0.13769320156349074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561900515171579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349546037293436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472019179988149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30270037228559826,0.0,0.16734041340692846,0.15176604375209848,0.0,0.159817967975124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208569622079812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597927219522068,0.0,0.0,0.10663226321223908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31317022973361125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20456564212695905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352726174328685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zuliani19,2018/02/14,"when to seek professional help? I can't clearly remember when I started feeling like this and it wasn't triggered by any particular moment in my life, but I feel this has been going on for years now. I study in a really demanding engineering school and this is, I believe, the main reason I started feeling the way I do (due to pressure, professor retaliation, etc..).

I feel bad all the time, I don't have real reasons for how bad and sad I feel but I do. It is extremely hard getting up in the morning and I usually wake up thinking how worthless and useless I am. I have ""flash thoughts"" related to how worthless I am, about how I am a burden to others and about ending my life (and this one is the one that happens the most).

Being a christian has stopped me from hurting myself but the thoughts are there and I cannot stop them. I have this kind of thoughts at least 5 out of 7 days a week, if not every day.

I never looked for help because I never took this as a health problem, ""everyone feels sad"" I used to think. It was only this week when I had a fight with my girlfriend that I said something to someone (after the fight, while talking things out). She felt worried for me and wants me to look for help.

My concern is to find out this is not a disorder at all and that I'm just overreacting. I want to know if there is any kind of test I can preliminary  take to know if this is just a regular thing or if I actually should seek help...


(edit: I'm not looking to get happy. I am happy about some stuff in my life (or grateful... grateful is a better word I think) and I've been sad in a ''normal'' way. I can tell I have two things going on inside me: regular feelings of sadness related to stuff that happens (getting a bad grade, a fight with my gf, etc) and a constant feeling of hopelessness (and the thoughts that comes with it).) ",4.418198198198198,4.925393175675679,5.53925675675676,82.80762387387391,69.94594594594594,8.32882882882883,31.362612612612608,8.344100000000001,2.2184774774774776,1425,59,294,20,24,474,172,370,0.206,0.695,0.099,-0.9936,0,0,1,0,3,2,55.0,0,0,1,1,15,24,3,1,22,0,33,5,1,8,5,78,72,31,0,9,14,0,10,1,2,1,4,1,0,0,24,20,0,2,22,0,0,4,9,18,0,3,12,14,43,6,46,58,8,43,1,9,3,0,14,14,0,8,24,219,67,6,0.0,0.0,0.08247141610542445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494196988995167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116917005522098,0.05151766526476936,0.0,0.0,0.09521596252280952,0.0,0.07474390114146323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727995122053974,0.0,0.09132733240646904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900635835264208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685795058665383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485245230766739,0.0,0.18850619972328167,0.0,0.0,0.07120491441006033,0.08075473497355827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418540172217124,0.06037531289741075,0.08114467004681293,0.0,0.07724233869466414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246192721460667,0.0,0.09606011218468996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946717488849562,0.17992896214423834,0.07570605586405446,0.0,0.0,0.08983218978683513,0.0,0.0,0.22658616046833704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047172885147604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601226202332898,0.09289105189620096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790797469861144,0.041288241821168616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21290611454016029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036156299754842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280371108874232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453489110326966,0.06427510250770407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086646755434893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619303568744876,0.054140482394378416,0.17378460187793687,0.0,0.0,0.09573549960813664,0.0,0.08039016280831536,0.0,0.0,0.0855305470975487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160665227462867,0.06506138373384455,0.0,0.0,0.1196359050017507,0.0,0.0,0.1413114526654743,0.0,0.0,0.19349179526801702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354242553482277,0.06792745794818783,0.07386711906862423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684378384194944,0.1624554248446185,0.0,0.2683720103406189,0.04927956415084355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389582217750693,0.0,0.0,0.08255583892672405,0.0,0.0,0.07299114064588874,0.09307790985259567,0.0,0.09969460766335037,0.13416321314370347,0.13558068498997264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582592915162242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05442288794699962
mentalhealth,Stinters,2018/02/14,"[Advice] Dealing with a SO who has anxiety and depression Telling them I am upset causes them to cut or have an anxiety attack. Telling them, but they can sense it, angers/upsets them because they can tell I'm keeping something from them, and then they cut or have an anxiety attack. Not telling them, and them not sensing it causes me anguish. Advice?",4.203435897435899,6.706192138461539,4.428846153846155,82.60532051282053,73.76923076923076,6.7948717948717965,30.833333333333336,7.793537801064563,2.356641025641025,279,13,47,4,6,87,40,65,0.34600000000000003,0.654,0.0,-0.9749,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,10,0,1,7,4,2,3,0,6,0,0,2,0,12,8,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,12,0,3,8,0,1,0,1,0,0,16,0,0,2,1,37,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33386469425203563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920516816906261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886858232342827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413591344838588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509773539897015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761174357539527,0.14713496607386298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518408693653568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315126877454428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5972491089010771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrasslandsFilm,2018/02/14,Grasslands Film supports Mental Health An award winning UK based production is raising funds to create a poignant short film about mental health to raise awareness. The director and writer Harry Crossman suffers from depression himself and has decided to take action and make people listen; break the silence and stigmas and make a film. ,16.298181818181813,13.05708181818182,12.513181818181815,54.32977272727275,49.0,13.90909090909091,54.77272727272727,11.20814326018867,6.705545454545455,280,15,33,4,2,81,42,55,0.104,0.72,0.17600000000000002,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,2,0,8,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,3,5,7,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,18,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349416749780115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.579896526178938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641603603959807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5497883485719821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910861792367584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095431117592033,0.0,0.0,0.205093697037026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,popoman246,2018/02/14,"On meds for 6 years, and have a few questions on that. To be specific, I've been taking Meth OD 20mg and Meth OD 10mg after Breakfast and lunch in that order. 

So I've been taking it for 6 years now and its been really helpful, I've before taking those I would barely pass through school, failed one year in my 12th, went to another college and dropped out of it, and joined another college - basically, my life was a mess. 

I started taking these around my 2nd year in my 2nd college, and I could tell the difference immediately.  

So, now that the background is covered. This is where I am now, whenever I take the tablets, I am good life goes fine and everything is fine. The issue is when I don’t take my tablets. That is when I feel like I cannot function properly. 

I have spoken to my psychiatrist about it, and he said we could cut it down and see what happens. Whenever I did that, life didn’t go normal - It was just not simple. I’ve managed to stay without it for a maximum of 2 weeks, and those 2 weeks were probably the hardest time of my life, and had to come back up to my normal dosage. My psychiatrist says its not that huge a dosage so there is no issue with me taking it for a long period of time.

Now I am starting to think that I have become super depended on it events my psychiatrist tells me it's not an issue. This is probably because I don’t know anybody else who takes medications, or haven’t spoken to anybody else about it.

So, is this normal or is it something I need to worry about?",5.217352941176472,5.113487794117648,6.194901960784314,80.92705882352944,68.11764705882354,9.41437908496732,30.398692810457522,9.150863307647796,2.341092810457516,1179,41,246,20,18,393,149,306,0.053,0.892,0.055,0.1943,0,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,0,2,18,8,1,0,11,0,32,7,0,1,0,36,52,20,2,7,7,0,1,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,28,17,2,0,4,0,0,4,10,3,0,1,11,4,28,5,34,37,1,40,0,1,1,0,9,12,0,4,22,167,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396972146891625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233658462482632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111985725515373,0.0,0.056381645127891074,0.102149024730706,0.07870301475463147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967279265380868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769304867801852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663339215209026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452869721596094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312493220014784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046766220347623615,0.06607557715926002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256475743133468,0.07757704883263625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178947133493822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061994756675986334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28960967087679523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050830625734409066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26131646797972896,0.045186422683398016,0.0,0.0,0.08185160995809967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273663217188388,0.09317493542474914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858089238505452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718645786770859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267428416794256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19944184743570573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361106917991192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925209245653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798010561886661,0.07355254246923901,0.0,0.0936058132538502,0.07370333907543815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120407787034817,0.0,0.0,0.1309311884709105,0.09858308219296044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563336721347611,0.0,0.1616823927304382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926448766402617,0.0,0.0,0.10786447265148373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483813761360144,0.0,0.0,0.08574006841802702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915800763500115,0.0,0.0,0.09392908345765967,0.0,0.06570294104835672,0.0,0.0,0.2382446439909683
mentalhealth,jll2017,2018/02/14,"Fluoxetine side effects Hello,

I have recently been put on 20mg a day of fluoxetine. I started taking the dose on Sunday and the side effects are awful. Main ones are headache, tension around the jaw, nausea, werid rsuhes that cause me to have goosebumps all over my body and horrendous brain fog... my memory has been terrible! Also doing anything feels like a huge mountain to climb, getting up and showered this morning took 2 hours, yesterday I didnt get out of bed. 

I was wondering if anyone else has had similar side effects and how long they lasted for you?

Also, weird thing, I was on fluoxetine (same dose) about 4 years ago and never experienced side effects like this. My side effects before were really minimal, I felt fine after day 2/3 of taking them. But I guess our bodies and brains mechanisms change right?

Any experiences on this would be very much appreciated :)

Thanks 
J",5.032298136645963,7.483125118012422,5.678850931677019,74.8308229813665,71.11180124223603,8.575155279503106,28.89130434782609,9.23628265651192,2.870408695652173,708,28,116,16,14,229,117,161,0.08199999999999999,0.802,0.116,0.7057,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,2,6,5,7,0,1,5,1,16,8,6,7,2,25,27,11,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,5,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,2,3,0,1,9,3,15,4,16,16,4,31,0,0,0,0,5,15,0,3,15,74,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502614265162913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24362708923544946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358562577084224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065085671916783,0.15607406290805545,0.1253497728165002,0.1356007623761095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961660786216672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383955190742957,0.0,0.3400881915382809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564788319892738,0.16113872267570462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964729133104272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724725738231024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900221915188452,0.0,0.0,0.0770196524604783,0.10882038255610976,0.1462550438767527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916613266646654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780219257488918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000857593482736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416448913350354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883574277066566,0.0,0.0,0.13480205382096488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197575565316548,0.0,0.11748175268350453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321876664273727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312781391916047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758273246450122,0.0,0.1504016930763001,0.0,0.0,0.13008396714227807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781579692894014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290575642064813,0.0,0.0,0.14023958532612846,0.0,0.0,0.1011973776151348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923770328343848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256833525874564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518901163079727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082066852433344,0.0,0.0,0.09809173985174953
mentalhealth,FatPhil,2018/02/14,"Should I go back to my old therapist or seek a new one? While I was finishing up with college, under my parent's urgency, I started seeing a therapist once a week for about a year.  At the time I had the wrong approach, since I basically was going in order to appease my parents and I didn't fully commit myself to self-improvement.  In my mind I was fine since I felt that I would start getting serious with my life ""soon"". 

Going into the meetings I thought that the therapist would guide me or teach me what I should be doing instead.  But it seemed like the therapist was just asking questions that I could be asking myself.  ""How does X make me feel?"" types of questions.  She wanted to know specifically what was going on in my dreams and what they made me feel.  Knowing that info didn't really seem like it would aid with helping my motivation.

Although I admit, immediately after leaving some of the sessions, I did have a feeling of confidence and a strong desire to get things done.  But this feeling went away usually by the next day or end of the same day as I would fall back to the same habits.  I quit seeing her after a year because I wasn't seeing much improvement and I figured I could figure it out on my own since I could just ask the same questions to myself.  I never felt like I got anywhere from her sessions.  

That was about ~5 years ago.  I finished college and am still stuck going sideways with no prospect of moving my life ahead.  Now I truly want to make a change and start seeing a therapist again.  I was wondering if you guys believe her approach is a style that would work for me or should I seek a different kind of therapist? ",4.97684641445511,6.007535736024848,5.656070016939584,80.5803331451158,68.96894409937889,8.339017504234898,29.54319593450028,8.575989854853784,2.2194360248447205,1305,48,245,20,22,424,168,322,0.043,0.8290000000000001,0.129,0.9704,3,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,5,12,8,0,0,21,0,30,2,0,5,2,66,68,17,0,15,9,2,6,3,0,8,2,0,0,1,14,12,0,0,20,1,0,10,5,2,0,1,20,10,49,6,39,35,6,51,0,0,4,0,18,11,0,12,32,187,63,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607544941581127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905526305028185,0.0,0.07003303479804268,0.11463372884011334,0.0,0.04543905505857721,0.0,0.0,0.08398135554656208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885371906503542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854301400997352,0.0,0.0,0.09614461162912864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787871419033482,0.0,0.0,0.0652306901895115,0.07628057322598418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602055206107273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075919522653405,0.0,0.14314069207203312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788842620534216,0.0,0.2118147582999156,0.0,0.059616661103778376,0.0,0.0,0.07380658378279918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996276989707285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762221777674508,0.08193076296970897,0.0,0.0,0.07892738025407041,0.0,0.0,0.10529999035421878,0.10924982821379398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053180318133627,0.09951241440965848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526442088209516,0.0,0.0,0.07922450753956736,0.05479567314269797,0.0,0.05749004936582992,0.07199145460100267,0.07927441986253325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821747145752757,0.07938295189136406,0.050510414206684194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553629107309886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505064759886781,0.07928274956449535,0.0,0.0,0.04775240391373944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23759576895305015,0.13571731953766336,0.07776175537121953,0.0,0.0,0.18498143804415204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827995445112295,0.0,0.05952795371438738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5192819728153554,0.049521241400440126,0.0,0.0,0.05917664596879432,0.04346502927111817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209557340754843,0.0,0.08793156179296263,0.0,0.059791706189294073,0.0,0.0,0.06909957452883272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083574015899589,0.05426620232916322,0.0,0.0,0.26475633595248416,0.0814980807119845,0.0,0.1440044646333158
mentalhealth,corsica1990,2018/02/14,"Everything's going wrong at once. Hi reddit,

I have GAD and bipolar. About a year ago, I started experiencing psychotic symptoms. They come rarely and don't last long, but they're pretty scary. Once, my stupid brain spent twenty minutes trying to convince me that my fiancee had been replaced by an alien who wanted to kill me (good times, huh?). My meds, psych degree, and years of therapy are enough to keep me under control, but lately stuff's been getting worse.

I have lost my ability to concentrate (as in, focusing is not only nearly impossible, but physically painful), and I'm now a few days behind on my school work (online MSW, really intense). I sometimes lock up and forget how to move/talk/breathe. The house is a mess, my fiancee is worried, and I think about hurting myself daily. I have a bruise on my leg from repeatedly punching myself. I break down and cry daily.

I talked to disability services so I can get accommodations, but they're being stubborn about it. I see my therapist on Friday, and I'm going to schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist, maybe get a scrip that'll help with the attention problems and hopefully not interact with anything else I'm taking.

I feel like I need to take time off and get some intensive care, but I can't drop out of school because student loans are my only source of income, and I can't work because of how bad things are. Finally, I'm transgender and have surgery coming up in a couple months, and I'm afraid that they will revoke my approval if they find out about my mental health problems (since they'll say that I'm too compromised to make my own decisions, which isn't true; I hate how aware I am of what's happening to me, despite my active logical processing being the only reason I'm not dead).

I guess I'm just feeling... lost. Like, I'm drifting towards a black hole, time around me is moving too fast, and I can't push away and escape. I'm consumed by a sense of dread and this awful, crushing weight. I was so close to getting things on the right track--medically and legally transition, start an internship, get married--and now I've lost all control.

Help me out?

Twin Cities metro area, USA.",6.755449959644871,6.924642602905568,6.9212500000000015,76.0905755649718,64.85956416464893,9.788902340597257,33.431093623890234,9.516144504307137,3.0336619047619044,1717,67,313,30,24,553,238,413,0.17800000000000002,0.721,0.101,-0.9893,1,0,0,0,0,2,70.0,0,0,4,8,16,23,4,2,15,2,27,7,2,7,2,63,68,29,2,6,10,0,3,2,2,3,4,1,0,0,12,27,1,4,8,0,2,7,8,16,0,0,8,7,45,7,48,55,5,50,0,4,2,0,13,22,0,4,21,186,57,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879304767110534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314650652929365,0.07912836080717375,0.0,0.0,0.0835123528962925,0.0,0.07421701253904882,0.10836949768831157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922739612502908,0.0,0.0,0.09062631862516722,0.0,0.0,0.15313672560872302,0.0,0.0,0.1993888732996712,0.0,0.0983518813235277,0.09763830139675556,0.05732482362504435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425376316058759,0.0,0.0,0.09184413142845957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988599062222793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988797322882293,0.06350095931017861,0.0,0.0973714691576032,0.08124119563251582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278639034616525,0.0,0.1010331703876402,0.07455427910151216,0.0,0.0,0.09791915772178596,0.0,0.07860256564574059,0.0,0.0,0.08775760517887815,0.0,0.09448282674892276,0.0,0.0,0.11915829389239102,0.0,0.0,0.08828494272414032,0.0,0.10256377484425666,0.09515547492533946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900693524830894,0.09834040226416567,0.0,0.0,0.07245484703355369,0.10026851620154703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685149071872665,0.0,0.0,0.07866228305345167,0.0,0.0,0.29109229691649186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059332826955928016,0.0,0.08929903540499179,0.0,0.19746705150943392,0.0,0.08957728653589858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094883218175728,0.1889458325134369,0.0,0.06590865557333646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189323713056807,0.0,0.20280792627615432,0.09458213739942356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043013235808467,0.0,0.17010589326309938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056943349931794826,0.09139073905370787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590909451314573,0.0,0.07068658659222579,0.0,0.17991697368914775,0.07083150744749557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352832453882012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791161101276791,0.0,0.12582948842784994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175445913668046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238772724859877,0.1336640684649729,0.14288816193933898,0.0,0.0,0.1016501411310332,0.10320476970022477,0.11810527416446134,0.056955262163222775,0.0,0.0,0.15549234187572664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603485036407711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052427912344170484,0.0,0.0,0.10824053689008292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942172939737714,0.0902691609081363,0.09058354489970673,0.0,0.0971840860019392,0.0,0.11448075139377185
mentalhealth,throwaway71303,2018/02/14,"Exhausted from Depression I’m sorry, I just need to let this out. Sorry for the string of negativity.

I feel exhausted by my mental health issues right now. I tried 3 antidepressants, they didn’t work. Since then, I’ve changed doctors, my therapist has suggested changing therapists (due to feeling like she has helped as much as she could), and I have gotten an appointment with a psychiatrist (in 1.5 weeks, now). Overall, that is not making me feel like I have any stable support.

I have felt horrible for the last month, at least. I think. It feels like it goes on forever. I have been actively trying to get help for a year, and it has just gotten worse during that year. Most prevalent is a numb feeling where I care about nothing. That’s been interspersed with feelings of depression and hopelessness. There have been very few good days lately. 

Now, I’ve had two good days in a row, and it’s gone. A brief conversation with my mom (no ill intent on her end), and I am stuck between that numb feeling and a feeling of guilt/depression/self-hatred.

I should be doing more. I want to do more. My lack of action is negatively affecting other people, as well as me. I don’t know how to do more when I don’t care about any of it. I don’t know how to do more when I feel like it is all depressing and hopeless. I want life to feel worthwhile, but it doesn’t feel like anything could possibly change or improve.

Thanks for reading, and I’d welcome any advice. For the most part, I just needed to get this out.",3.4307508532423228,5.394765563139933,4.284554266211603,85.21906348122869,74.25597269624573,7.6914129692832764,25.71317406143345,8.488131031819089,1.7408638634812283,1182,41,234,22,25,380,160,293,0.11,0.726,0.16399999999999998,0.9181,0,0,0,0,0,2,49.0,0,0,1,1,15,22,0,0,10,0,31,8,0,5,1,50,62,19,0,8,6,1,12,5,0,1,8,0,0,0,14,13,0,0,15,1,0,3,9,9,1,1,10,12,28,13,37,47,12,28,0,5,0,0,10,9,0,3,21,161,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505387242371848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17756928440313285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162599151984715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774848926440965,0.0,0.2762283614375185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898772109182986,0.0,0.0,0.11226639591324336,0.0,0.2249006651311383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908849113619448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709105388755585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841069700444312,0.3109047437030712,0.08357145208221882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094896474447,0.0,0.0,0.14600900073210354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251878823193443,0.0,0.0,0.11668132017265695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084649666230696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566913129268637,0.07094870972571728,0.09818420908842028,0.0,0.0,0.08900366068263695,0.061478486451059015,0.21261521680513507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809946041226061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771522072925916,0.0,0.0,0.10193946707041916,0.06947400078715253,0.0,0.06398395740679283,0.12907719122005512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351663026129479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942551640030699,0.0,0.0603421451402715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812382032439416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706293168034182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433115288561898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080105340785627,0.0,0.0,0.07199987258143299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948669143833648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877125422429854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013416477444088,0.0,0.2021188518797047,0.0,0.05577131866277058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818804793577548,0.0,0.08502482458788523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181660201166412,0.10267616002858496,0.0,0.06981773856728457,0.0,0.07825885346121306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336570351851367,0.0,0.08870056174488282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112101010937989
mentalhealth,zannahbear,2018/02/14,"Odd combo of meds—repercussions for my diagnosis? Hi everyone,
I’m a 17 yr/old female and I’ve been on a combo of psych meds for several years now; initially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and possibly mild OCD. I’ve been on and off of a number of things but ultimately what’s gotten me to a stable, consistent place in my life is a combo of Prozac and Wellbutrin. Every time I have a psych appointment my doctor comments on how strange it is that these two have worked well together for me because apparently they normally aren’t a good combo for depression/anxiety and the insurance company has been questioning it.
We talked at one point about the possibility of me having bipolar, a previous psychiatrist brought it up too. She suggested that the combination of meds Im on would typically be more effective for someone with bipolar disorder than what I’d previously been suggested to have. I can’t say much as to my temperament; I don’t think that’s something I can objectively evaluate very well and I haven’t been off medication since I was 14.
Thoughts? Would really appreciate any input from anyone who also suffers from depression, anxiety, or BP I or II, or from any mental health professionals. Thank you so much in advance! ",6.852586206896555,8.415269948275862,8.171896551724139,62.300258620689675,65.0344827586207,13.041379310344825,37.3448275862069,12.38480682065935,5.689744827586208,1036,53,165,42,16,356,145,232,0.117,0.777,0.105,0.3572,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,1,3,8,7,0,0,11,0,21,8,0,2,0,22,27,14,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,0,11,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,3,2,2,9,1,18,4,33,15,4,17,0,3,0,0,12,12,0,4,3,116,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984074133732505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736387610667827,0.0,0.28241128881479644,0.0,0.0,0.08604324447101773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501347118840304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21197498870279435,0.12489870981459565,0.0,0.0,0.42309668237246656,0.1259524858972673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367953920505907,0.11758477318669805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321308830716562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308022082470837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329210219620749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691771629485379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27337376835805843,0.12396543800933195,0.12401096888023495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180919855980281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205682315789244,0.0,0.0,0.12912601360316892,0.0,0.08338556987866308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285667731332765,0.0,0.11632719238785726,0.27745310169638976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785028682822464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883248387411426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785864731039336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390176525958332,0.0,0.10179275482457513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426449878298656,0.09473411128228916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890732399285213,0.0,0.11329294199418175,0.0,0.0,0.08175258508824687,0.07884897519036231,0.0,0.09769229623468044,0.07175463302942657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020731166556255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015336485858253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22128328836192684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958584635342981,0.0,0.0,0.17483014779524944,0.0,0.0,0.07924368691827634
mentalhealth,SmolAries,2018/02/14,"Is it OK to consider someone who is mentally ill, to be a bad person? Hi All,
There is a person in my immediate friend group, who I've grown to consider to be a toxic person, and have opted out of spending lots of time around them/with them. 
I recently found out about their struggles with mental health (depression and anxiety), and it opened my eyes up to why they may be acting irritable, distant, irrational, ect. It definitely gave me better understanding of what they were going through. After offering my help/support and talking about it with them, I was able to better understand their perspective on things.
Fast forward, some time has gone by, and this person has continued to treat me in negative/bad way. Therefore I still continue to consider this person to be toxic. My friends think this is really rude and disrespectful of me, and simply put, think I'm being unethical considering what this person is going through. 
My question is, while still having understanding and respect towards someone's mental illness, is it wrong to consider them a a toxic person?",9.266875,8.995024437500003,9.290708333333336,62.65012500000002,59.83333333333334,12.68,39.5125,11.979248473330829,5.123365,860,39,133,24,10,283,109,192,0.128,0.7609999999999999,0.111,-0.5454,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,7,2,6,12,1,1,5,1,19,4,1,1,1,26,30,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,7,14,14,0,0,7,0,1,7,0,5,0,0,5,1,18,7,30,19,3,27,0,1,1,0,24,10,0,4,11,101,32,0,0.10502691522176197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034530267333942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349622154645756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538617446598334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857755431838262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045952818305716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515659154563446,0.16228706833961115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937843253347682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163869960076284,0.0,0.0,0.07039732740078994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929012752351169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31752728384833145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.641938159062714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055810584265044,0.11765418158709325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728293125892576,0.0,0.1037014082400288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797792888435368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677492603297925,0.0,0.0,0.10979693557788392,0.0,0.0,0.11918329876840078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441665610641194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697752156524168,0.13459401294627793,0.0,0.0,0.12248407773977672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280101681568705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336547670252842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477045509598617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483044439363042,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__slothy,2018/02/14,"Am I Normal? So 2 years ago I moved not to far from my old house, not much was different except the school I went to. I had attended 6th grade at the same school all my friends went to (School A), but when i moved, I went to another school (School B). I didn't have any friends there and noticed that the kids at School B were much different than the kids at School A. Eventually I fell into a friend group and everything was fine, until I realized that I am nothing like these people that I am hanging out with. Then I realized that I was nothing like anyone in the entire SCHOOL. I was basically faking to fit in with the people there.

I did fit in with my friends at School A, but not at School B, so I faked everything. I was almost a completely different person at School B. So My question is, Is it normal to fake emotions and interests to fit in? currently I am in 8th grade and went to School B  for 7th and 8th grade.",5.128699226305606,4.955327856382984,5.888220502901355,83.2877272727273,68.30851063829788,9.815087040618957,29.32495164410058,9.573946990214177,2.2969085106382985,719,23,156,14,11,236,85,188,0.068,0.78,0.152,0.9458,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,0,11,0,16,0,0,0,1,24,20,13,0,2,6,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,6,10,0,0,3,0,0,9,4,3,0,0,13,0,22,8,29,7,4,33,0,0,0,0,9,17,0,2,9,105,28,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069621576554506,0.0,0.06856472588586962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656324596502267,0.07179876652046943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787715066277325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179149361218297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21461571348353156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702168129866269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307627301562495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116049074534386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900738950549158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690383195009007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455496056721476,0.10066946284868164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341758652625578,0.13140128632374826,0.07795572196276877,0.07184975003870983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949396002467864,0.059787029652838726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670420835425935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8315667265850699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25389658167989915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409366430781076
mentalhealth,Orderdrake,2018/02/14,"Needing advice with coping skills. I live in a government run apartment complex with rent based on income.  I live next to the manager of the complex.  He is obnoxious and driving me crazy.  He makes lots of noise, has druggie loud family members over that are verbally abusive and more.  I spoke to him about the noise but he doesnt care.  The walls are thin as hell so i hear him talking about doing drugs and other things.  I told the other manager and she doesnt care.  He does his work so they will keep him.  So I just live with it.  I bought headphones and use them all the time so i dont hear him but even with them i can hear the banging and loud ramblings of him and his friends.  Mentally its driving me crazy.  Im losing sleep just thinking of him and how infuriating he makes me.  Loathing is the word to describe how i feel.  I try to think why does he make me so mad and how maybe i have controlling issues and try to tell myself that there are tons of people that just do annoying things.  What im trying to find now is coping skills that will just let me let go of the situation and relax.  Im sorry for the long speal but does anyone have any advice?",2.4178388278388283,4.359759367521367,3.3796459096459084,90.67884615384615,77.11965811965813,6.337484737484738,22.68131868131868,7.2636822038024595,0.7111626373626372,908,27,192,11,21,290,123,234,0.182,0.7859999999999999,0.031,-0.9902,2,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,5,17,8,3,0,11,0,19,2,1,8,1,41,37,23,0,1,7,0,2,0,1,2,1,6,1,0,11,15,0,2,6,1,2,4,3,4,0,0,3,8,30,4,23,30,4,14,1,1,0,0,26,6,1,1,4,127,41,4,0.0,0.12751824176050672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034016463599234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318881443669333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525402971793471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21946209193850924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071079325365087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825505663250459,0.0,0.1261359118429935,0.0,0.1248110424747213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108541772418624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145944326570268,0.0,0.05441852583271528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836746662324608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315094869640839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116587119730432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639042064801963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34876099564939816,0.11233272818760012,0.0,0.09566220690790103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010808100456605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851050226745703,0.09524489937063133,0.0,0.12040504928807455,0.0,0.09149908108841093,0.0,0.0,0.21552193427766808,0.0,0.10812396120340777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846086982001847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980270879590975,0.0,0.0,0.11446060211930628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461374997756247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209752139722187,0.10770290769574653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047757993107724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650504458355943,0.09406915290668404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300277739575915,0.13792374192032925,0.0,0.0,0.06275710916752811,0.0,0.0,0.1028404736498394,0.0,0.21921130178211398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929536017760828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711498679772752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835241436134095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xmoses1,2018/02/14,Meds making symptoms worst I heard a guy with social phobia who studied neurology say that sometimes meds make symptoms worst for short while but the symptoms will eventually subside and meds will start working. Is this true?  Let me explain more... for example you have schizophrenia and take newly subscribed meds for the first time. The meds make your schizophrenia worst the first month nevnevertheless you continue taking them. Will eventually the worsening effects subside follow by pills working successfully?,7.89925925925926,11.90797201234568,5.838518518518523,69.23333333333335,69.61728395061728,7.550617283950618,36.160493827160494,8.515128840125781,3.923997530864197,427,22,53,8,9,123,57,81,0.173,0.738,0.08900000000000001,-0.8039,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,1,6,0,5,0,0,6,0,6,5,0,4,1,10,15,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,2,6,2,5,10,4,9,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,7,36,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336359318311386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000541221018624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426084208237787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629267971560058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.729210990230035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480060906454987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441323838257748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384151843143652,0.0,0.0,0.12985682913541755,0.0,0.09293322116801604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409405896672344,0.19743913119371512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656077219003378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911726472436568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mkazban,2018/02/14,"Is it normal: I want friends.. then when I get social interaction, I just want to be alone. I don't know what it is! I have a lot of social anxiety so maybe it's just my way of dealing with it - just thinking to myself that I don't want it anymore. Also I'm bad at eye contact (either stare dead in the eyes or glance away) If that's relevant.. I just want friends that I want to be with, it isn't their personality or anything, my whole social drive just switches off when people message me and if I'm forced to reply I get really scared",1.642831858407078,3.331097929203544,3.6453185840707967,89.05399557522125,78.55752212389379,6.289911504424777,22.804424778761053,7.1686216300943375,0.7003776991150451,418,13,92,5,10,142,67,113,0.161,0.753,0.086,-0.9078,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,1,2,0,8,2,2,0,0,22,19,10,1,8,10,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,4,14,2,12,17,3,9,0,0,4,0,11,4,0,5,3,64,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245642338059874,0.0,0.13315974744141998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738137844198358,0.0,0.16513536080047225,0.0,0.0,0.13702535413829345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644369462749133,0.0,0.13903073309696087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716667682989998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25729382777305365,0.0,0.17399150557195334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915107513160972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156271924755048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672838872445214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631466036569182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543859473161887,0.1453920317414639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066719801184236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670776206637167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5092146603933143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669429530212056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49106605336061704,0.13216963510630791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590492656647886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Arethusa23,2018/02/14,"I have my first counseling appointment tomorrow and I am nervous, any advice? So I finally took the plunge after over a decade and made an appointment with a counselor. I have never really opened up much about my mental health except to my ex girlfriend so, any advice on talking to a professional is very much appreciated! ",7.0150000000000015,8.618023431034487,7.765000000000002,65.21750000000002,64.6896551724138,11.317241379310346,33.46551724137931,11.20814326018867,4.423020689655171,261,11,40,8,4,87,43,58,0.038,0.8909999999999999,0.07,0.4157,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,5,0,4,1,0,1,1,7,6,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,7,0,9,4,2,10,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,33,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483162529017297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33623718741693354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708182574734241,0.0,0.21028585134690386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627841062959733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339262597518219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491403781695472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634714069594796,0.0,0.19067189004824486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583759486905506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870668156068697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746713597251951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398301726064624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Druuz,2018/02/14,"I know my behavior is self destructive. I drink too much, I don’t eat well. 
I think I have finally accepted that I need to seek some therapy. I think I could spend the next 30 years doing these same things every day, but I know I don’t want to. I have no idea what kind of therapy to seek or how to find the right doctor. I know I want help improving myself and I know I want to live differently, but I don’t even know where to begin. Any advice? I’m
In Louisville KY",-0.2131333333333316,1.93378302,2.1740000000000035,94.31866666666667,88.8,6.533333333333335,17.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.42143333333333377,362,9,86,8,12,123,63,100,0.058,0.78,0.162,0.7506,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,2,0,8,3,0,1,0,22,21,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,2,0,10,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,18,3,8,20,3,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,53,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142604574849218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233784976807903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189427820332686,0.0,0.0,0.10653671517991802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259297742610544,0.0,0.1690834577662929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618276117667366,0.0,0.16903510151039197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910933642610277,0.0,0.13918339811654062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18096237930266665,0.15098467945736554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107263172824878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648435846611225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720245360980633,0.4539325819239553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586967262620085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121436883955894,0.12248954680848227,0.0,0.0,0.17568610755902606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107510621592825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233377603793135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778283629622585,0.0,0.10974781219743887,0.2116997893537306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29230779329158085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852959540889082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637977087026612
mentalhealth,MisterB3an,2018/02/14,"Anyone experienced with wellbutrin? I'm being put on a starter of 150 mg of wellbutrin switching soon to 300 mg. However, I've read that 300 mg often increases your risk of epileptic seizures. This isn't something I've ever had to deal with before, but I'm concrrned for my nightlife habits. I enjoy catching electronic and bass music shows when I can. I can think back to last weekend, where a particular club had very strobey lights going. I don't intend to risk mixing drugs with my prescription but I fear I'll have to avoid the particular music festivals and dj's that I like. Is anyone familiar with this?",4.387500000000003,6.637935163793106,5.0064137931034525,79.82996551724139,72.36206896551724,8.088275862068969,29.703448275862065,8.841846274778883,2.6281406896551727,493,21,87,10,10,158,77,116,0.101,0.805,0.094,0.2168,1,1,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,4,3,0,9,1,0,1,1,13,13,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,5,0,4,2,4,0,0,2,2,9,3,14,10,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,8,49,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926535987062488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590127319481425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892175470534774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894702215880271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256138253969024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539801553254229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31595378300932897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595728463554999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228871886906776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717415311259934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822598631393332,0.0,0.0,0.2808544021497934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21615694494039286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179911473893944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23167160160045264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,poligirl17,2018/02/14,"Kind of feeling like a mistaken My moms a severe sociopath and my dad was barely in my life 

She makes so clearly she never wanted me and I'm a mistake 

I just feel like a mistake

I always think, what would of happened if my mom never met my dad and manipulated him into having kids 

I wouldn't even exist ",4.462619047619048,4.8134018888888885,6.285833333333333,78.04875,69.7936507936508,7.56984126984127,28.448412698412696,7.1686216300943375,1.6320507936507944,241,8,46,2,4,84,44,63,0.185,0.667,0.14800000000000002,-0.363,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,2,3,19,12,5,0,6,2,4,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,2,12,3,4,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,4,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417103953796924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412955923387328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598379721977136,0.3334194101132338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635610355880651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430045566647121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482637449513485,0.2280120892461159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557670654026254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5466078865997828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35995735135929874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263626066640594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952522071790494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376395238525136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657695383745703,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emotional-overdraft,2018/02/14,"What does it mean to feel empty? From a more clinical standpoint, what does it mean when someone feels empty or has chronic feelings of emptiness? I can understand the effects that feeling empty or feeling chronic emptiness might have, but I don't understand/comprehend what someone experiences internally with it.  

Note: have had episodes of catatonic depression, but I wouldn't call my experiences ""emptiness"". I felt overwhelmed.",8.155190476190473,11.314392042857143,6.997142857142857,65.6761904761905,64.28571428571428,9.80952380952381,44.52380952380952,10.125756701596842,5.72295238095238,353,23,45,9,6,107,47,70,0.192,0.754,0.054000000000000006,-0.8661,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,8,3,0,1,0,17,17,5,0,1,4,0,6,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,10,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,6,5,0,5,13,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939729377208955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15975489709211138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32463212552796233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628728893042081,0.0,0.0,0.4689249593163902,0.0,0.17809127491172588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040873394721962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676650212755506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143156534715648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861854519295891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stalked_Like_Corn,2018/02/15,"Not sure if this fits but, I have spans of time I don't recall I've never been one that was good with memory but the last 10 years it's gotten down right horrible.  In 2012, right at Christmas, I was online at Best Buy looking to buy a new monitor.  I was going to bed early that night (was a few days before Christmas) as I was driving 10 hours south to Florida to be with family so I decided ""Eh, I'll decide on it when I get back home"" and off to bed I went.

I woke up and I turned my PC off and grabbed my bags (this was at like 2am) and headed out.  I had ordered some DVD's a couple days before but I did so regularly so delivery people would know I'm just out of town.  I get back to notices and no big deal.  Delivery driver knocks and is like ""Where have you been?  I was about to keep this myself"" with a chuckle.  In his hands were my DVD's and I saw another package at his feet and he hands it to me.  A brand new monitor.  I was like ""HOly shit!  Secret Santa!"" as I signed up for it here but, it was never on my list or mentioned anywhere.  So I spent days trying to figure out who sent it to me and, lo and behold it was the one I wanted!

I happened to check my bank account later and saw the purchase.  I had purchased it.  Wait, i went to bed!

So, some years later I was thinking of starting a business here in Tunisia and debating if I should put out an advertisement online here.  I wasn't going to do it but just went over in my head what I would post.  That night I started getting calls about my ad.  I was freaked out, I never placed that ad but, there it was.  My wife read it ""Honey, this is in your type of typing voice"".

Then the other night, we were to watch a movie and I picked one and she said ""We watched this already"".  I was like ""No, we watched the trailer"".  I showed her my list (I keep a list of the past like 5 years of movies I watch and ratings) and it wasn't on there.  Then we started watching it and she'd tell me what was going to happen.  Then as it went along, it was vagulely familiar what was going on but I couldn't tell you what was about to happen until it happened.

On top of all those, there have been times where she swears she tells me something and I swear to God she didn't.  There are times that I'm alone and it's not like I get lost in something like a game but I'll look and it's 9am and what seems like 5 minutes, I look and it's like 7 hours later.  I can't recall what I've done and I look around and nothing has moved.

Is this signs of a mental disorder?  I've had numerous concussions in my life.  Could it be a sign of those?",-0.003695652173909991,1.9887419637681167,2.021188405797101,96.9578695652174,85.8840579710145,4.984347826086957,18.257971014492753,6.2581,-0.30335420289855103,1972,50,468,18,60,656,232,552,0.045,0.855,0.1,0.9829,1,1,2,0,0,0,67.0,4,3,0,3,23,16,1,0,18,0,50,7,6,1,5,80,91,48,0,8,15,1,3,9,1,3,1,2,4,0,41,38,0,3,7,5,8,12,13,3,0,3,43,17,70,13,66,40,5,88,0,1,11,0,29,39,1,6,44,316,111,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038205019464917,0.08564615902143274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138236670538952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909064025521894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935682042212745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208324596388127,0.0,0.08144842283783607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924996239272025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196642319392926,0.08587558723106757,0.0,0.15015888335245586,0.08001399145168507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894943942534875,0.0,0.0,0.07942345392017636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316516270541668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219510598873674,0.0,0.17643349003796988,0.06509679746105364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27452617649447114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593034660763968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785060696102056,0.0,0.15286327854653478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379692359408363,0.0,0.0,0.04265322022483803,0.0632636859916898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054819258547761165,0.3412532836330228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606962660111706,0.0,0.08472205987910633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782140817269318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248868300027526,0.0,0.0,0.1795761919544783,0.14991523359977826,0.0,0.21849924957592548,0.0,0.07447027426376775,0.08836114405598786,0.0,0.0,0.15777457033583445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408890576665214,0.053806003477401686,0.0,0.08108744082892723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743303101198447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802093822461269,0.0,0.0,0.07763244733603086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255949921388216,0.07382625663460472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065454426080307,0.0,0.0,0.07966703255175707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949816357482165,0.0,0.0,0.1648013398063211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314786802000653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20350747026930052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973027987209554,0.0,0.0,0.13576757240247775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269307631869052,0.084418965012321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577724085464488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877863467142937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026588689259577,0.0,0.0,0.1499376771490728
mentalhealth,DevoidSauce,2018/02/15,"How do you get yourself to do human things like shower when you're depressed? I've been struggling lately. A lot of rejection in a small amount of time, feeling out of control in my own life, and two days ago, I lost my job. I can feel myself spiraling.  Nothing too horrible, no self harm or drug/alcohol binging, but I cannot get myself to shower or clean my house. I feel like I'm at the border to Self Hate Land and I'm getting my passport out. I know I'm making my depression worse by avoiding self care, but I just cannot get myself to go into the shower. How do you get yourself motivated when you're depressed?

UPDATE: I managed to take a shower! I basically tricked myself into it. I put on a facial mask that only comes off in the shower. I am still feeling a little void, but at least I don't smell anymore, so that's nice.",2.2285964912280707,4.022901567251466,4.10629239766082,85.92715789473688,77.18713450292398,6.197426900584795,24.85029239766082,7.03164865440522,1.0817232748538013,652,23,130,7,15,221,100,171,0.187,0.665,0.14800000000000002,-0.8487,6,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,8,14,2,2,8,0,9,2,1,5,0,25,29,12,0,0,6,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,6,4,4,7,0,2,6,0,0,3,4,10,0,1,2,5,22,4,20,27,4,25,0,5,0,0,6,14,0,3,10,83,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153919806953452,0.14652823611258708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597566861883936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397921569892034,0.0,0.0,0.11810759562930258,0.0,0.0,0.15377983515744176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842421125716128,0.0,0.3542763400153999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900335852536202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27730650115043753,0.09795097282466853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581699762767771,0.0,0.07792242380693896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353671329285955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820582289935406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360599093776277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535173287963086,0.0,0.15466535958384006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968444142077905,0.1339694407704534,0.1374196247990541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967109145266774,0.1165654969830766,0.0,0.0,0.09152157989271983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156015382230346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427786651363108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783280289575184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291049764408764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949573284984336,0.0,0.0,0.14333649998970832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030891948725929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108938373375763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799495856386327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393594744543433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972617801714207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,autisticadulthelp,2018/02/15,"Need an inpatient facility (can pay) Afraid to self commit to regular psych hospital but need help for a month or two. Can pay for facility. Anyone know how to find one?
I’m female autistic adult. ",2.92608108108108,5.6323793783783795,4.9202027027027055,76.26246621621625,79.54054054054055,9.105405405405406,25.466216216216218,9.516144504307137,2.9151135135135133,155,6,28,5,4,53,30,37,0.041,0.826,0.133,0.5499,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,6,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,14,0,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568032026713355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33567744560920193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461728400568945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184157773709765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931508155475272,0.0,0.0,0.5446509981578701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887115232652546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38314193162185134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35876869602035744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ziconz,2018/02/15,"SO is suffering a mental illness Just a heads up, I am going to talk about how I didn't think depression was real.




**Backstory:**
Hi. I recently found out that my fiance is suffering from a depression. I didn't think depression existed because it was never in my life. I always thought people could just not be sad. And whenever I heard someone talk about depression the symptoms just sounded like regular emotions that everyone experienced and I thought they just needed to ""Get Over It"". I know that's terrible and I am so sorry I ever thought that. But I was an ignorant kid.


But now depression has entered my life through my SO. I still don't understand it. She explains how she feels emotions like shame and guilt constantly and struggles to find meaning in life. She used to be able to hide it from me. For years she would break down out of sight, like ""go for a walk"" and come back a few hours later. I know she was anorexic growing up so I thought long walks were just a habit she developed as a kid and that she just liked walking now. (She is a healthy weight now, she was upfront about anorexia so I could keep an eye out with her for relapse)


**Whats Happening Now:**

She has started an anti-depressants and therapy. She seems to enjoy and look forward to therapy. But she is feeling ashamed of needing drugs. Her mood seems to have increased but it's only been a couple months so I don't know if it's progress or if she is just having a good few months and will crash later.

We recently had a conversation where she explained her feelings. It was a lot of guilt and shame. She is also convinced that she is abusive to me, when she absolutely is not.

She is a great person but is convinced she isn't. She has an amazing job, we have a nice place, we aren't ""rich"" but we don't have money troubles, and she has lots of friends/family that love her. 

I'm so confused. I don't understand depression at all. The feelings she is having seem to be coming from no where. 

**Why I'm Here:**

I really just wanted to write all of this down to kind of wrap my head around how I feel about this. I started just writing it in notepad and realized that if I was going that far I might as well post it to see if anyone had any advice or had been in a similar situation and could explain what is going on.

So if anyone can shed any light on what I can do to help, or even just not make it worse. That would be greatly appreciated. 

Thanks for reading and giving me a place to share.

Edit: I'm in the USA.",1.720342123209818,4.085668813253012,3.191797378192013,88.9146976585588,81.75100401606426,6.4894142608168535,25.058877017503978,7.7046832291405725,1.435205683109797,1951,78,398,34,53,638,225,498,0.091,0.743,0.16699999999999998,0.99,1,0,1,0,0,0,66.0,4,0,1,1,40,38,0,7,23,0,58,11,3,5,4,105,107,44,0,13,27,0,6,4,0,4,6,2,0,3,25,26,1,2,26,1,2,13,13,19,1,0,21,14,62,18,53,75,7,58,0,9,4,1,48,23,0,15,26,296,87,3,0.07364555837103856,0.08725794405885726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196558729851682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889432642191215,0.06127900418738,0.0,0.0,0.1001630102122213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298937351510476,0.0,0.0,0.06556016071530275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056628888518304915,0.0,0.04489364882962561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687825502652025,0.0,0.07958468553516396,0.0,0.17639995729694774,0.08148740957664688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.444015680577572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854054667930642,0.0,0.0,0.16568268149251328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864219673626791,0.06661662383439153,0.0,0.07037148703459672,0.0,0.0,0.06942647814536733,0.0,0.18618703556917984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731070614934588,0.0,0.0,0.08074855351675242,0.0,0.0,0.03847676464054013,0.07064753024549103,0.1674178719392795,0.061770400271776514,0.0,0.1623889761914607,0.0,0.0,0.06512452404931786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116317926557998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936306539436236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252604022743801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308185298717954,0.06545955608918748,0.0,0.07669051615958122,0.1214210186489488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605410750612395,0.14391799935699234,0.0,0.0,0.06517400166779881,0.0618437209238361,0.0,0.0,0.12522164027393468,0.06646799174443209,0.0,0.049158982079801065,0.0,0.0,0.08022160300130493,0.0,0.0,0.07421740121781745,0.07812629932058661,0.0,0.0,0.1175663641443045,0.0,0.0,0.10921449674528666,0.056799994720405714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601076573713349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051056557333902165,0.06430446092798234,0.15388786767931292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053208740683528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366548790504232,0.08382476849084171,0.04717923049478539,0.0,0.14543220845007726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868597509913255,0.20113245122177695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278069323698461,0.0,0.0,0.062399642618910976,0.0,0.0,0.08244017314570813,0.10425341053325958,0.0,0.058813438046957336,0.0,0.0,0.07699032777444413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654593352817908,0.0,0.1183870203489416,0.0,0.06780293555523728,0.16844022854267368,0.0,0.0,0.09437820025369624,0.0,0.2338653882316291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533352470287265,0.0,0.06360611683369949,0.0,0.0,0.04343805841786133,0.0,0.0,0.0896804498669856,0.06621620145156633,0.0,0.06645366159602463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505111569615906,0.10463138334498083,0.0,0.0,0.047425325026471836
mentalhealth,ThrowawayTheOmlet,2018/02/15,"Why am I such an unhappy person?? I don't know why I'm like this. One moment I can be happy and content, and the next I'll be angry or depressed. I don't know if it's my situation or my brain. I can't exactly figure it out because I'm stuck here for the next couple of years at least. I can't tell if it's home, or school, or if I'm just a depressed anxiety ridden mess. I never do anything and I feel worthless. My grades are fine I guess, all As and Bs but it's so pointless. I get good grades so I can get a job, I get a job so I can get money, I get money so I can live until I stop living. It's so pointless. I feel stuck and cramped, I can't leave. I'm so stressed out but literally everyone else can handle the things I can't seem to without falling apart. I'm just lazy and angry and sad and pathetic.",-0.9739743589743596,0.9124613461538508,2.1834065934065947,94.84492673992678,89.38461538461539,5.005128205128205,19.106227106227106,6.42735559955562,-0.04071355311355297,623,19,151,7,21,222,91,182,0.232,0.696,0.07200000000000001,-0.9806,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,1,7,0,16,2,1,0,3,33,34,25,0,3,12,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,7,10,0,1,6,0,2,2,8,6,0,1,2,2,22,4,9,30,2,13,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,9,8,92,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101360604973247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941838649565105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846157645341292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619978328926793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056847461011414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499769890963605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212260845884202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866488562950807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675036768914532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790865017283896,0.0,0.0,0.12171670444826363,0.0,0.0,0.1598620136077983,0.0,0.0,0.15447904674157056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556352521430327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28801115943670913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595042952145032,0.0,0.0,0.15365725527549445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089651562661242,0.0,0.2562807810225686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192267072300977,0.0,0.3086657565580557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983345904151832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670999428592564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468654876397554,0.0,0.13210846949673788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311685092563918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132376156279664,0.16623028189076555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683808102132774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640885085672646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618898583269818,0.0,0.0,0.13988697724139354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345016778606503
mentalhealth,Nostok,2018/02/15,"Request for new Psychiatrists: Please call your patients back. (personal anecdote highlighting issue) Good day! Although for me it is not a good day. I suffer from Major Depression with psychotic features and today is not a good one.

My request is for new psychiatrists to understand how difficult it is (in the US) to find a psychiatrist, first, who takes new patients, hasn't switched to children only, that takes my particular insurance, and WILL CALL YOU BACK. This combination is almost never possible.

I have an anecdote to illustrate. In August last year, I almost committed suicide. My doctor and I had been gradually lowering my anti psychotic dosage, and I didn't realize that I was obsessing again over a certain thing. When the day came when I was finally told that thing would never happen, I was devastated. My whole world crumbled and I wrote notes, figured out who would find my body, made preparations and was about to do it.

Out of the blue a friend messaged me online. My thought at the time was, I'll never talk to her again, why not play a game with her online for the last time. Well, thankfully this distracted me long enough for me to fall asleep without doing it.

So the next week (it was Friday night), I attempted to contact my psychiatrist. This was a big provider in the area, (Let's call them Big O). First they suggest logging into the online portal and sending a message directly to my doctor. This didn't work because my doctor wasn't configured on the portal.

So my first call to Big O was to get the doctor set up so I can message him. I was told that he couldn't get on there because he was mental health. (This wasn't true, because my previous mental health doctor was on there. They change doctors every year (student doctors, i think they are called interns).
So I asked how do I send a message?

The operator said, ""I'll take the message and give it to the doctor."" No call back. Two days later I tried again to message the doc through the operator. No call back. Ok, how about move my next appointment sooner? Sorry, no available times.

So I took it upon myself to up my dosage to what is was before we started lowering it. The good news is that my work actually cares about it's people and understands taking a few days off for mental health crisis. So I did while I stabilized. Still no call back.

After about a week I was feeling ok enough to go back to work and just wait for my next appointment. When it came, I told the doctor the story. He said he never got any messages, and that I did the right thing by upping the dosage. (Why should I have to self prescribe?)

So I looked for another doctor. I found one, and the first appointment, I told her the story. She said she would be more available to me. Also that someone would call me for my next appointment. They didn't. So far I have left 3 messages on two different lines for my doctor or her nurse, over the course of 3 weeks and nothing.

I understand you are busy as doctors, but you have no idea what it's like as a mental health patient to get care. Please call us back, or even have one of your staff call. What is so hard about that?

Thank you for listening.",3.9724668874172204,5.921556981788082,4.652656953642385,83.22115099337749,72.72516556291393,7.745907284768213,26.98066225165563,8.488131031819089,1.953285933774834,2483,90,468,44,50,795,255,604,0.067,0.871,0.062,0.6528,3,0,0,0,0,1,90.0,3,6,5,8,37,21,0,2,36,2,51,18,2,4,7,63,90,36,1,6,8,0,2,1,1,6,16,4,0,3,32,21,0,1,12,2,0,8,20,5,1,9,37,8,74,16,66,44,6,88,0,2,2,0,69,26,0,4,54,335,106,17,0.0,0.0,0.040641358452007885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340669188031817,0.0,0.0,0.03330500407310255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028321314341843637,0.043670396980277686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03893422162038947,0.0,0.0,0.22416722189371915,0.0,0.07616267548842298,0.0,0.035438437214338016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626030781904186,0.0,0.0,0.4677874586739284,0.09526589799829348,0.08492356297539617,0.0,0.04405688900927023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429399822887128,0.0,0.035870406609333064,0.0,0.0,0.043512137511718736,0.0,0.5115282979645278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606474363749933,0.0,0.027507379043956816,0.0,0.035089302290923836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02105791968335783,0.0,0.0,0.045622133936687334,0.07612900863854004,0.14169929848367355,0.0,0.045663666895628,0.03217628505091402,0.0,0.0652763456649136,0.039951493217270095,0.023668888183316247,0.13972574661339662,0.03330882363565107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03682820859828038,0.0,0.03730743448646081,0.0,0.0,0.17707479260395215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04701427120831856,0.0,0.04346853450713772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789555019194997,0.0,0.0,0.04524946945446502,0.04258676820555928,0.0,0.02034656751330996,0.0,0.0,0.03685618841204428,0.03497289980886592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039407295701816614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788108464959622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426405471891668,0.0,0.0,0.12848260064735084,0.12066848194020055,0.1771677662674284,0.03908278641988066,0.0,0.039961315601718936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466303449863104,0.031674337654344416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02887271072229365,0.03636445924829003,0.0,0.0914315610451572,0.0,0.0469506125877149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035566217772539134,0.1188471925302538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434467906672894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035287276005074635,0.0,0.0,0.046620285335049486,0.02947788414770964,0.0,0.033259261336560535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045554939719421296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525311750532164,0.0334741938185831,0.0,0.0766857244841606,0.0,0.0,0.08300503242647486,0.02668564643513744,0.0,0.03306297983533008,0.0728539120191518,0.0,0.0394763834835752,0.159181558204936,0.04627122882652981,0.028275505543842745,0.0,0.08136592289959567,0.13006764837389873,0.100192165217372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002198727399532,0.0,0.037445557034663415,0.0,0.07515968360934418,0.046497267045585364,0.0,0.04014611721773365,0.0,0.0909582990371846,0.0,0.0,0.11833902721001012,0.0,0.0,0.05363846533737382
mentalhealth,mulderforever,2018/02/15,"How to get help when you're low-income with no insurance? I hope I'm posting in the right place. My brother is having some mental health issues lately and I want to find a way to help him. He was denied government assisted health insurance and he won't qualify for benefits at his job until October. He lives in a large US city. Does anyone know how to get a therapist or a doctor to diagnose/prescribe him some medication to help him? I live across the country and I can see him unraveling and I feel very scared and very helpless.
Thanks in advance, any advice helps.",2.4168918918918934,4.996719810810814,4.069752252252254,82.35976351351354,80.62162162162161,7.6639639639639645,24.565315315315317,8.59863814320734,2.10096936936937,453,17,84,11,12,151,78,111,0.117,0.725,0.157,0.5673,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,6,0,5,4,0,2,0,16,14,10,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,2,12,3,14,12,2,13,0,1,1,0,14,7,0,4,3,49,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624686205685845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873360884912273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118018141795147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365859412097625,0.13992458180641856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808473637342291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461404959434456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707634753947415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399203335628858,0.0,0.0,0.4286951227054365,0.0,0.0,0.15881112056012975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688811018069524,0.1586704233397229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787372716976599,0.0,0.1803677379575971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823791973770502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107668824215304,0.16113584958595667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705551455986822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313454312440802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654886086301032,0.0,0.0,0.16008209079500516,0.0,0.12741505767125685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720919145430994,0.0,0.18564960929358093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923331588886849,0.0,0.0,0.263859090436419,0.09430980245433522,0.12691665502058036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thisjuiceisorange,2018/02/15,"I’m afraid there is something mentally off with my husband. I used to think it was a product of bad parenting, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s something deeper. My husband (simply put) lacks empathy. I used to think this was because his mom spoiled the crap out of him growing up and always made him feel that the world revolved around him, now I’m wondering if it’s something deeper. Sometimes he does things that just makes my jaw drop. He’ll be so blatantly inconsiderate and it doesn’t matter if it’s to a stranger, his mom, or his best friend. Here are a couple examples, 

We picked up my sister (she lives in an apartment building) and instead of simply calling her to let her know he was there, he called her, then proceeded to honk the horn for about 5 minutes straight. I yelled at him and I was like, “dude, you’re being SO disrespectful right now! There are dozens of people living in these apartments, some could have sleeping babies, some could be sleeping because they have to work in a few hours, there’s no need for you to be blaring your horn!” He thought he did nothing wrong.

We were walking into Walmart and there was an old lady with a cane struggling to get a cart. Instead of helping her, my husband pulls a cart out next to her and completely ignores her. Again, thinking he did nothing wrong. When I told him he should’ve helped he said, “she’s been on this planet for 100 years, she can figure out how to get her own cart”

We were backing out of our driveway and the neighbors car was stuck in snow. They were clearly struggling to get out of their driveway. I told him he should get out and help the neighbor (Im pregnant or I would have). He proceeded to drive past him.

He invited his friend over to his moms house for dinner. He neglected to tell his mom that he did this so when we got to dinner she had only made 4 steaks (there were 5 people including his friend). When we went to eat, my husband took an entire steak to himself. I asked him if he was going to split his steak with his friend and he goes, “I’m not splitting my food, I’m hungry!”.... he invited his friend and then was going to make him sit there and watch us eat instead of sharing. I got in an argument with him because I thought he was being insanely rude and he was like, “if you care that much, then you split your steak. You aren’t infallible because you’re pregnant.”

In addition to these day to day behaviors, he also has 9 felonies from his teen years. He went on a 6 month spree of robbing houses with his friend. He had no empathy for the people he was stealing from. I asked him how he could break into someone’s house and steal from them taking away their peace of mind and sense of security, and he said “it’s like a switch shut off in his head and he didn’t care.” 

Does anyone know what this sounds like, is it a product of his upbringing? Is there something wrong with him? Or is he really “just an asshole”? He has a lot of great qualities, he cleans the house and cooks and can hold a job. He’s funny and friendly, but is incapable of putting himself in others shoes.",3.8277527929979343,5.212003340425532,4.2098573258378975,88.53776755852844,72.06055646481178,7.015171137835338,27.52156123247705,7.423996415210882,1.3615150217035512,2415,87,496,26,46,757,263,611,0.08900000000000001,0.7609999999999999,0.15,0.9922,3,0,4,0,0,0,71.0,7,6,5,2,29,30,2,3,24,0,49,12,6,9,2,90,94,41,0,12,13,10,1,4,9,3,0,4,5,0,20,40,6,4,11,1,0,12,6,13,0,1,36,6,75,17,77,46,8,69,0,1,1,0,119,32,1,13,26,316,95,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247356384203102,0.054598259862366064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588064584931683,0.0,0.0,0.05841267721008023,0.1226853093518912,0.0,0.061648946888625385,0.05045510794504902,0.0547871123920326,0.15999705853408733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886056367291032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400375087151656,0.0,0.13380097458330886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879774689631178,0.0,0.0,0.15716852510786225,0.07260350951481485,0.0,0.08463454529771891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484304133322995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428430688449164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033177719794288664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934384188058625,0.0,0.35486650620993865,0.0,0.13712784157415836,0.0,0.07458284121095081,0.0,0.10495916347656928,0.07234252284660063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734155240126488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194425273768126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461912434180136,0.3028509430657518,0.0,0.0,0.07087717777338585,0.0,0.06511434142134777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212232440632879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670974096071329,0.0,0.1282278070925822,0.0,0.11588130340415033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578487890535939,0.0,0.12417600924547414,0.08759916756986484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612609019574099,0.0,0.0662540513765243,0.3073974317324271,0.052374536643875695,0.0,0.04823574407481022,0.048653870547595464,0.0,0.0,0.06978398856804208,0.0,0.0,0.12592177684985406,0.0,0.06885357399623156,0.0,0.0,0.04990437399170263,0.0,0.0,0.07285945872497536,0.0,0.06263846045439703,0.13647084618755614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192559406909404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042035668183903814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603620989838405,0.12483280752634107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132795634869615,0.0,0.05559672433005535,0.20205942889829148,0.06489648597196006,0.0,0.04644376059398397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719341488853798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049335510088834564,0.0,0.05735179240279562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359274719078512,0.12613338543419733,0.0,0.10418448707520958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539892862055688,0.07290244656775251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892867940303078,0.11334333322725687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165447384763856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423167871029899,0.04776965948834598,0.0,0.0,0.0466121433709965,0.21522432365640365,0.0,0.08450986611775715
mentalhealth,electric_toothbrush1,2018/02/15,"F/25 with reocurring ""ocd"" tics, (muscle spasms), How do you stop mental tics? I have had mental tics all my life (dont know the medical term), such as different small muscle spasms, wich goes on for weeks, depending on my anxiety level. Right now I´m at a stressful place in my life, and I have a spasm I cant seem to get rid of. It´s a muscle In my ears I keep  on straining, causing my hearing to go numb for a second. It´s really stupid and I´ve had it for about a month now. It causes me lots of tension headaches. 
I can´t stop doing it, even when I meditate, and sometimes in my sleep. It´s not like i feel something bad will happen if i stop, its just that i have to do it, I cant explain it. But the second I stop I´m thinking about it until I have to do it again.
Does anyone got any tip or any video on how to stop ""mental"" tics?",1.4005274566473993,3.2148501040462456,2.9505744219653174,93.16667088150291,79.7514450867052,5.9434971098265885,20.0610549132948,6.9077264865688965,0.21238757225433602,640,16,143,7,16,210,101,173,0.189,0.8109999999999999,0.0,-0.9811,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,0,11,7,1,3,7,0,14,6,2,5,1,27,25,11,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,9,4,0,6,5,1,0,1,4,6,0,2,3,3,20,1,23,21,3,26,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,5,14,93,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278248156582705,0.0,0.10280959346900193,0.0,0.0,0.0939700854942149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122117951950566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761154263507138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041114717749584,0.0,0.0,0.11760743787197545,0.0,0.15750654767862907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876471872630882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795268697419249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021432870998202,0.0,0.0763781310752719,0.0,0.10748564435739473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884249576072835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146967111626886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945387902009405,0.0,0.0,0.07385838696301976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18985023824712868,0.06565719472868463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425536286558405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538590832646386,0.40630690135660796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727049706991372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041114717749584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609502459971817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477012447071575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234552615728128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448916266782734,0.0,0.0,0.10346160923085293,0.1329172295239172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5617890927177618,0.15394570369843766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611303519900773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780124126369407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,green_glass_dreams,2018/02/15,"Violence and Mental Health Stigma As a society we have made some significant strides in improving the public's view on mental health. A lot if the stigma of mentally ill individuals always being violent, out or control, or ""crazy"" has been diminished. Particularly with schizophrenia, bipolar 1, and other illnesses with particularly violent stigmas attached to them. However, sometimes I wonder if this has gone too far and prevented people from accepting that some mentally ill people are violent and that we need to work on providing facilities and treatments for them as well. I think we need to be open about their existence and be welcoming (not excluding) to them so they get help. I am curious as to how others feel about this.",8.724047619047617,10.13326707936508,9.189007936507938,57.234464285714296,60.74603174603176,13.6015873015873,40.35317460317461,12.815532586354998,6.301574603174603,596,31,84,23,8,199,87,126,0.166,0.7090000000000001,0.125,-0.8761,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,3,0,5,2,6,6,3,0,4,0,9,6,0,3,0,31,17,15,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,13,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,3,2,11,3,19,11,3,7,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,8,0,67,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410569239175106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424426320864766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756869348927779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048320681851713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681799643881145,0.0,0.0,0.11608378451258924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723763394495906,0.0,0.16387399374881895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6981281848057556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256832350352348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401325100924647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128665031368626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097141732801814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571616550020204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781421968525197,0.12608240396744325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samsamsamuel,2018/02/15,"Lorazepam / Benzodiazepine for Panic Attacks Advice I've recently been prescribed lorazepam to ward off bad panic attacks that have been occurring during and leading up to stressful events. I'm pretty much on top of my mental wellbeing generally - anxiety isn't usually a problem. Any personal tips on how they have or haven't worked for you in the past would be much appreciated. 

I may need to rely on them leading up to something next week and was wondering about testing them out at the weekend. Will this work or am I likely not to actually notice anything unless I'm actually in a stressful situation?",7.701952817824375,8.947227504587158,8.453499344692005,62.18963302752295,62.94495412844037,10.999213630406294,40.34207077326344,10.914260884657429,5.089093315858452,494,27,72,13,7,166,79,109,0.197,0.7170000000000001,0.086,-0.9279,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,3,5,2,9,2,4,4,0,12,0,0,3,0,16,16,6,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,8,0,0,3,0,7,1,20,9,2,20,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,4,8,53,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.3025148458099251,0.0,0.0,0.1514639877233646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054051632079976,0.0,0.11857440479103384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275516092458433,0.0,0.0,0.35266924459020904,0.0,0.0,0.12941833905606245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757250614705535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562033184039228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22788534050219694,0.11493037030062885,0.0,0.0,0.16484402077187466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646827290896588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36371768237669055,0.0,0.0,0.14796482528646293,0.0,0.1353398262443448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769049615471348,0.0,0.14831385296043273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304358000923504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422624305376375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932640057534913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551034406469639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071035564233547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433147128853494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809064579704594,0.2256833667019277,0.0,0.0,0.11010739408479367,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Literal-garbage0,2018/02/15,"What does insomnia feel like? The actual not-sleeping part. What does it feel like when you're laying there trying to sleep and can't? And I mean the not-sleeping-at-all kind, not the barely-sleeping-at-all kind.

My eyes are so tired they hurt and feel heavy but I also feel wide awake. I'm withdrawing from a medication and a common symptom is insomnia. I haven't stayed up all night in years. This time I kept trying to sleep and trying to sleep, but it just didn't happen.

I'm not jumping the gun, it could've just been a bad night, but I'm curious what other people feel like when they're laying there unable to sleep.",3.1666141732283464,4.648124283464565,3.950401574803152,89.36024803149607,73.88188976377954,6.969763779527558,20.574015748031496,7.554174236665415,0.5060777952755906,492,10,104,6,10,157,70,127,0.078,0.78,0.141,0.6769,0,0,0,1,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,8,7,0,0,7,0,6,10,5,0,1,20,17,12,0,0,7,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,6,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,6,6,5,7,14,2,12,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,10,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.11989956251629146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825595329653683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025880379051325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809856069730197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150418549736784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106238882884912,0.263326638914387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865006159690466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153067112995812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25589221345638963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800784695547148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383717170652412,0.0,0.12377464125828312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306029705771233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305198264068568,0.0,0.08517986396420303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6147740214659904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095888477888226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770489326772036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716441945792056,0.14121647530304213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502539930084121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912172197185313
mentalhealth,Vurbetan,2018/02/15,"Finally accepting my situation, but how do I... ...Try to continue my life 'normally'?. Work, relationships, everything seem a little trivial and like a burden.

Some background.

I have struggled with low self-esteem for years, but have finally accepted that I am and have been battling depression for much of my adult life.  My doctor has started me on Sertraline (small dosage) and is referring me to councelling. 

I have started using the app 'Calm' to trying and gain some peace and relieve stress which is, I am surprised to say, apparently working. 

However, I am having trouble concentrating on anything. I've been working from home this week as I have been ill (and reluctant to spread illness to colleagues) and I just can't keep my mind on task. My concentration has never really been an issue before.

My marriage is difficult at the moment, we are very open with our feelings and how tough the situation is, but what makes me miserable is that  one minute it failing is the worst thing ever, the next I couldn't give a fuck. I love my wife, but I don't know if it still works. 

I feel guilty and selfish that I'm trying to focus on me because I have a 1yo daughter, who is incredibly funny, happy and watching her grow is exhilarating but terrifying and I feel like I don't appreciate it/her enough. 

What can I do?",5.76935174069628,7.1055685714285755,6.59875150060024,73.42175270108045,67.36734693877551,9.846338535414166,33.18727490996399,10.056822442137396,3.515177671068427,1040,46,182,25,17,344,146,245,0.246,0.611,0.14400000000000002,-0.9871,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,0,6,5,23,2,3,10,0,32,7,0,4,2,42,46,20,0,3,7,2,3,2,0,0,5,1,1,1,11,15,0,1,8,0,0,1,5,14,0,1,4,5,31,9,19,41,5,22,0,4,1,2,12,9,1,4,14,132,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654811817458316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892766581812273,0.0,0.11017495557892897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115179100838692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252467268036794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378382418253207,0.0,0.0,0.1171188967928738,0.0,0.0,0.11636511944561598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964016092188117,0.09249802947281842,0.0,0.28367032944990245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969892754374901,0.0,0.12420564608711784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783012993830085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298754751388918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351398152644102,0.0,0.11508465233506693,0.0,0.0,0.07115689214444126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290614623510973,0.12651134463997432,0.12976945647654994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685758624601475,0.0,0.08642656167865738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307343440949309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518011702731408,0.0,0.09986025013865424,0.0,0.13769971472270956,0.0,0.12685946856722127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877366196920416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294595416337111,0.0,0.0,0.1390092937531567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029649007033598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787053261110972,0.13507221559643065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910739965377744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832882503758224,0.0,0.10340009121116084,0.0,0.14831488047057625,0.13535693845849808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601842593587833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637181105156835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118261149253207,0.0,0.10683166313886897,0.0,0.0,0.10385822941784896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770417036299117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337861373689631
mentalhealth,Psychoandworm,2018/02/15,"Is she a psychopath? She has no life outside of internet. All she's doing is going online and molest other people. To be more precisely, her very existence is a serious threat to all the other person than her gross self. And she's contaminating the air by breathing out. She hacks other people's computer for her own enjoyment and steals their personal information. She rarely empathizes with people. I guess what would resemble empathy in her is that she's good at sensing when people are upset and she attempts to do things that will make people angry at her. Like with her past imaginary boyfriends and her stalking victims, she would become seriously obsessed with them and get angry whenever they fall short of her expectation. When people are angry or crying, it gives her the ultimate joy.


She thinks of herself as better than other people even though she has no extraordinary traits than this serious psychopathic traits. She thinks she's good looking and smart but people rarely agree with her. She doesn't have any real friends or any ""real world"" friend, so she doesn't have to care for them. She steals from her family, even though her family is in extreme poverty. She never excelled at anything - and she likes to blame her poor upbringing for her failure. But she even flew to South Korea from USA to see her stalking victim.

She watches a random stranger through illegal methods and enjoys writing about the victim. She follows a stranger to collect information about them so later she can molest them on the internet. All other people exist to please her perverse needs. She's extremely obsessed with appearance - her own and other people's. She has low intelligence, at which point makes me think that she's not that psychopathic - because high intelligence is a key point of being a psychopath. What she's doing is just gross and disgusting.


I guess she hasn't killed a dog yet, but it's about time. She's killed a human before. And she still regularly enjoys threatening other people. It makes her day 1000x better when she thinks she successfully molested strangers. Internet enabled her to display this behavior much more easily.




So what does she have? She has extreme OCD & SPD, virtually every normal human being's normal bodily function annoys her, and she has no guilt or moral compass, conscience, etc. She believes what she's done is perfectly okay.",6.449128967399112,8.70709395023697,6.314334338647138,72.56857317248314,66.84360189573461,9.001407439322131,30.79735746086457,9.496760409515344,3.1930385466034754,1925,76,295,41,33,605,205,422,0.208,0.645,0.146,-0.9733,0,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,6,7,17,41,11,4,13,1,32,2,1,3,6,55,51,28,2,6,8,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,0,5,22,19,0,0,6,0,1,5,8,23,0,0,2,3,66,18,41,43,9,31,1,1,3,0,74,16,0,7,12,221,88,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094017742122397,0.0,0.11415313883587072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906880135580833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116410655828898,0.09269618817067367,0.07141986411057344,0.09456250836542812,0.0,0.14846188789534476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557416472409503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921952498331594,0.054129131295276516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344937035826214,0.08589147313539723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360625369930832,0.16630868298243576,0.0,0.07071624479926795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824704912166604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969115381812596,0.0,0.04385095302807487,0.08051512540845057,0.04770043237168693,0.14079618939629382,0.0,0.0,0.18492089846848928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867865939758443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571642123506707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928358237340894,0.08200977250369704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048165630992716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807558282730942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169960303954345,0.06223443955727525,0.06473345469008349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447088103829094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012249461831575,0.6400659177491589,0.1465721934779101,0.0,0.09213202074583507,0.15868554734683565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910657520205446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066882856745377,0.0,0.0875592754480413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702812290250071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055760624173292535,0.2151206872439876,0.1649253291008574,0.0,0.04894136522689108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925260667446825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192456257480915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Birdinhandandbush,2018/02/15,"The problem with coping First you struggle, then you cope.
Coping brings relief, but coping isn't fixing.
Then coping becomes habit and sometimes habit becomes problem.
We forget what it is to be happy, what it is to be better, what it is to feel better.
We substitute fixing for coping, we substitute feeling better with feeling relief.
But relief isn't the same as happy, relief isn't the same as better. 
A life where you have relief from the pain is not the same as a happy life where you experience some pain. 
The modern world makes it easier to cope, and coping is easier than fixing, but coping isn't fixing.
So many around us live their lives connecting brief moments of relief, but its a life half lived.
Ask yourself truthfully, how much of your life is simply coping and how much or your life are you living. ",6.229803921568633,7.245146000000003,6.341705882352944,76.84667647058825,66.12418300653596,7.950065359477126,25.10392156862745,7.908726449838941,1.5531600000000003,650,15,107,7,10,207,71,153,0.08800000000000001,0.585,0.327,0.9948,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,4,7,1,5,6,19,0,1,9,0,14,7,0,3,1,29,20,16,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,5,0,2,0,3,12,14,15,18,6,11,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,2,5,82,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038130359975054,0.1090202935769144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575865984677092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125497872107194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407290393854035,0.0,0.0,0.17689378319019725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919357879395034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372419959582193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118469332425535,0.0,0.0,0.4118965435693777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778421395031741,0.11823040235983127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145247487956575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481754641295991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231716800470985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153362858218058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191244776559118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027478669798746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nubt29104,2018/02/15,"Uncertainty Been NEET for 4 years straight, no job, no schooling, nothing.

Met my long time online girlfriend in person on February 15th, 2015 and spent an incredible week with her. Was the most magical experience of my life. But it didn't last. She tried to kill me in October 2015, I was hospitalized, and my inner world was forever scarred. 

My sanity quickly started dissipating, my OCD flared up and I developed schizophrenia. And 2 1/2 years later I'm pretty sure my ex-gf who I've very rarely communicated with since 2015 is now pregnant, and building a life with a man I envy. 

So I'm sitting here at 2am, mulling over my derealization, my delusions that I am God (or an angel), screaming at the sickness in my head, thinking about all my regrets, and how I could've salvaged my relationship with her back in 2015, I'm remembering all my aspirations and goals, just... sinking into a pit of uncertainty. 

Every time I think about suicide I imagine my mother coming into my room and finding me hanging, lifeless. I picture the look on her face. And it kills me.

But at the same time, I'm wondering if I should just cut my losses, travel down to Florida, kill her and kill myself. So much uncertainty. I have goals I want to achieve someday. Everyone always told me I was brilliant, full of potential. But my brain has been destroyed by sickness and grief and I'm not sure where to go from here. 

What the fuck do I do. What the FUCK do I do. I'm on the border of life and death and I'm so afraid. I've posted stuff like this here before but I am literally shaking and crying like a bitch right now. I feel like it's over but at the same time I'm afraid to die. ",3.7081264747522447,5.394950987730058,5.009202453987733,81.48146767343087,72.86503067484662,7.837470504955168,28.796130250117983,8.502166056373571,2.1273816894761683,1306,53,256,23,26,434,179,326,0.17600000000000002,0.764,0.061,-0.9877,1,0,0,0,0,3,48.0,0,0,0,4,16,21,9,3,14,0,17,10,3,1,4,50,39,26,8,4,10,1,1,3,1,1,5,1,1,2,9,22,0,0,7,1,1,5,4,16,0,0,10,3,42,5,35,28,7,46,1,3,1,2,13,24,3,4,18,163,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684039662590414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949172881184225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990337878185984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992247812960914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025408133591414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292275582238782,0.0,0.1278418115683316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078770008404115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805811968412798,0.11120942329197446,0.0,0.11384539681581325,0.0,0.0,0.058846995346030585,0.08314439680338298,0.0,0.0,0.10637241200493856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21518934371594256,0.0,0.0,0.06614342602275665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944304929098505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549266707718467,0.0,0.5150444035163092,0.0,0.0,0.09486808730967593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466153271646476,0.17057730038400334,0.0,0.0,0.10299573654799668,0.09773282941695394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555526493931374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167310867341268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162158448330708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146322316930754,0.11840386175957887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495232541755813,0.13183981971429906,0.09939087446470796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778631704605218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627363520417948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237684146084134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323126483252465,0.1273046609526256,0.0,0.2193801458470244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914769694134808,0.0,0.0,0.2714566228761504,0.0,0.0,0.11120942329197446,0.0,0.07901675797824352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602857749303376,0.06864600464103493,0.0,0.09335582484545764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621294290624166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498943185053188
mentalhealth,didyoudidyou1,2018/02/15,"Bored, Life is Missing Something, But Only Half The Time Alright, so its the weirdest thing. When I go to school, everything is fine. I have plenty of friends, a sweet girl, hobbies, great grades. I am always bustling with energy and something to do. However, as soon as I get home everything fades away. The world becomes colorless. I can't determine why this is happening. I take a lot of psychology classes, I understand how the brain functions, and I keep it full of new things all the time. I just learned a new coding language, how to make a hydrolic system, and created many designs for things I want to make. But alas, everything is still a colorless, static, and boring life. Something is awry, as if a terrible thing has happened; but everywhere I check I'm am returned with nothing but great news. If anyone has any ideas as to what could be causing this, or how to determine a source of this lifelessness please do tell. 

Thank You",4.842389162561577,6.85866537356322,4.990476190476193,81.42000000000002,70.55172413793103,8.649589490968804,32.543513957307056,9.23628265651192,3.0917927750410503,741,35,133,16,14,232,110,174,0.058,0.794,0.14800000000000002,0.9389,1,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,0,8,11,0,0,12,1,15,3,1,6,1,29,28,20,0,4,8,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,10,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,4,0,1,0,1,12,7,18,26,3,14,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,4,9,90,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924563488932423,0.0,0.0,0.08928320383275333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918025647259822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233533515552276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500192894145547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656552538186154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487326400785327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048261449681731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539909130975558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143603443351064,0.0,0.06859475994077226,0.0,0.07461638759622992,0.0,0.0,0.28950024626406995,0.0,0.0,0.23220253236745625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316967898181947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821292220675236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669854723274616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854711389615384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161994042672332,0.0,0.0,0.17527713705657053,0.13310969207001705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536056657826825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597841481607588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985364065120546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441194183823707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287472413686086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032254688750193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485012713028063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987154011104014,0.0,0.11475517697593915,0.12087622572067334,0.0,0.0,0.3488988371008312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311508494526488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366798190889531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743954610796537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847079677696712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shoni1a,2018/02/15,"Paranoia, Anxiety, Help? Hi, I'm undiagnozed though I've been talked tò about OCD and other stuff by my Doctors.
I also experience Paranoia and though it seems silly, I wonder if I can still read my Secret Agent books. Also, I wanted to start a degree in college but I'm scared I shouldn't even be learning due to knoledge being turned against me. It's a major concern as I've been staying in bed for a long time now nervous about doing anything else.
",3.1312640449438227,5.257266438202247,4.261109550561798,84.32739466292136,75.62921348314606,5.798314606741574,26.85533707865169,6.6274283507984215,1.25262808988764,359,14,66,3,8,117,67,89,0.133,0.8320000000000001,0.035,-0.7876,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,10,14,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,8,1,10,9,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,6,43,12,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397385792018518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624979371025435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480056858043394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21741714947519628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744661550595764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402990051201953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778396356269555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423782112897138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798179784665064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124738469524185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266583676596945,0.0,0.0,0.19337588004642556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503493957880596,0.22640758119948265,0.1696359827337735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24316591668753265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073222724865775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173959983992207,0.0,0.12386169009495647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310480072110854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252886750452804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303564857558509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gigabytemon,2018/02/15,"Every time I try to be kind to myself, I feel disgusted and sick. Why does this happen? Background: I am a 25yo from Singapore. I've was diagnosed with major depressive disorder sometimes in 2013, though I remember having many of my symptoms as early as 2004. I've gone through years of treatment and my psychologists have determined that I have a deeply set fear of rejection and a perfectionist streak.

A focus on my more recent appointments is on being kind to myself. But it gets really difficult to be kind with myself when I feel physically unwell whenever I try to tell myself it's okay. When I come across supportive things on social media, like posts saying ""You are loved"", I feel disgusted and nauseous when I think of them as referring to me. I don't feel that way when I think of it as referring to others, so it's confusing. Why does this happen?",5.878451178451179,7.0888114691358055,6.761043771043769,72.82015151515155,67.0246913580247,10.829180695847363,30.159371492704825,10.832165505486646,3.5757950617283942,686,25,119,20,11,228,98,162,0.16,0.715,0.125,-0.7911,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,6,14,2,2,4,1,11,4,0,0,0,18,24,15,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,2,5,22,7,25,19,2,18,0,2,0,1,6,5,0,1,9,84,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255148535675617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549840028649362,0.14789092218380298,0.0,0.0,0.16699440856743336,0.0,0.25502074225538857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276558090463235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396241868215286,0.29469810726207546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612660622738678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576988499092685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551985162679878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118574656962932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315074872205405,0.0,0.0,0.14772541112487805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395483350686525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933445089664178,0.0,0.14386943092654533,0.0,0.16505917210859744,0.0,0.0,0.11587313924921235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853132747120745,0.0,0.0,0.14410929761355007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534812458930107,0.0,0.15144678078956092,0.0,0.0,0.1273555323722159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968021624687572,0.18672807223486268,0.1431577276934537,0.0,0.08496371872403574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978528290293124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156565170682354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629582697999717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383140909129647
mentalhealth,internetdrunkie,2018/02/15,"Vent Hey everyone, long time lurker and first time poster on the sub. Just here to vent. Last year was a really tough year for me,  I fell into a really bad slump of anxiety and depression. My suicidal thoughts were at their worst, but my awareness was at its best.  I started attending therapy at the psychological services at my school. Around the same time I became a major pothead, I was smoking two grams per session and having two/three sessions a day.  Being a college student this led to financial ruin. Luckily for me it was just weed.  I was able to taper off the weed and have kept  it to an occasional use. Since then I've also come out of the slump and stopped going to therapy. I have never felt so in control and at peace with myself. Yet lately I've been losing control. I have a best friend, shes been my best friend since we were in 8th grade. We became close due to our love in edm. Since 8th grade we talked about always going to edc right after high school. The summer after I graduated high school I actually went to edc (which has become one of the best experiences in my life) but my best friend didn't go. She didn't go because she fell into coke addiction. During my slump she was going through a breakup too and her situation was way worse since it was a chemical romance, meaning they were only together because of the coke. Her ex is an abusive piece of shit who doesn't deserve her. I want to be there for her but I can't since I really need to focus on myself. It sucks seeing her go through the same cycle of going back to him. Due to the coke abuse she has become emotionally unstable. I don't know if I should give her one last Hail Mary intervention or just detach completely. Understand that I really did try to be there for her but I just can't watch as she fucks herself over anymore. It hurts me to send her so out of it. I've already lost another close friend to drug addiction and watching her slip away in the same way is just so fucking heart breaking. I've deleted all my social media because I needed a break from our social circle. I'm also in school full time and keeping up with that alone is exhausting on top of that I'm working a part time. I feel drained. I feel so exhausted. I want to cry but I can't because of how numb I feel. I want to slip away from existence. I think it's the depression coming back. Maybe I'll try therapy again. I'm lost.  I feel so damn lost. ",2.9750258989187834,4.780964709278352,4.3269197887855215,85.10994216746295,75.10309278350515,7.535831028413378,25.025144581342722,8.331364938255728,1.5818227307015338,1904,64,384,34,41,629,233,485,0.181,0.693,0.125,-0.9693,0,1,1,0,1,0,45.0,5,0,2,14,23,30,5,0,24,0,35,15,2,5,2,64,76,26,1,7,12,1,5,0,4,1,7,0,0,0,14,23,3,5,10,0,0,15,8,19,0,4,23,8,62,11,64,49,14,76,0,8,3,3,37,31,5,2,26,254,76,13,0.06400993418432077,0.15168261005304753,0.062464462219883665,0.1395605529641114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662949874288502,0.07063655408024355,0.10237744248209814,0.05326139297027094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711999712123569,0.048967424448111,0.0,0.06348065472844287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569824123181652,0.0,0.0,0.12027888048870668,0.0984393765806088,0.053445621347170784,0.15607944704013088,0.14138788660292498,0.0,0.0,0.3358723841366674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102777809457526,0.06711319815229923,0.0,0.1435851681257906,0.0,0.0,0.07031190702652355,0.04128111213915396,0.0,0.11026332503656024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423120184468687,0.0,0.0,0.07200256045575827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116423519858495,0.0,0.06261399817564872,0.0,0.0,0.12946138402767526,0.0,0.06145957491508002,0.0,0.0,0.05444681731769322,0.0,0.0,0.1978156654691968,0.11835230542213315,0.0,0.06140416151800194,0.2546482449452315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585208020423702,0.0,0.1352600197099772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852395842926333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568949705818444,0.0,0.0,0.035178185823305216,0.10435327930466222,0.07220599383639947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04521210951303452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664677747796379,0.0,0.0716107432451961,0.20962321367882453,0.0,0.05777146471603398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643065824080657,0.06972558348194415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492511026148567,0.04936840733022016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674957598682613,0.048682439345279466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931652099906922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164025611626062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466413404907152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591258828872908,0.05100763015078743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570527759273441,0.26474839508839315,0.07194984793428634,0.0,0.13050013387965154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045306560872985416,0.0,0.0,0.05351517115321375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001647876492878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144876044414415,0.0,0.0,0.21960281478255111,0.0,0.0,0.041014981217451466,0.0,0.050816737763319436,0.1866235368856625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691708717744477,0.0,0.12505680938174102,0.06663659891745173,0.0,0.05528403127494553,0.0,0.0,0.11326415286636278,0.101616212676647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059337850276954165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659999444082226,0.0,0.06523159145548943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244059793314792
mentalhealth,Chi-Cam,2018/02/15,"I believe I am suffering from Schizophrenia and unsure to see a college counselor. All my life I've NEVER asked for help or even told people about my feelings inside. Mainly I always appear on the outside as a as ways funny guy and no one takes me that seriously. The past 3 years of my life have probably been the most saddest and hardest times of my life. I've felt extreme anxiety, I read a post a few hours ago about a certain individual suffering from “schizophrenia”, which he listed his symptoms which I classify with myself. I read up on the illness and believe I’ve been suffering from for probably the past 3 years. Im a 18 year old who just started college and living in a 3 roommate apartment, the pressure of school and just this year being a big year academically for me to transfer to a different school and Im starting to get overwhelmed. 
My symptoms:
**inability to understand things that I would have been able to before**

**decreased concentration**

**seeing shadows/moving shapes out of the corner of my eye that disappear when I look right at them**

**headaches and muscle twitches**

**idea that everyone hates me**


**occasional fear that I have sent an inappropriate/embarrassing email to a teacher or boss without realizing it**

**occasional fear that someone is hacking my computer**

**occasional fear that there is a monster hiding in a room when I enter it**

**trouble formulating thoughts/ expressing thoughts** I have
overall feeling that I'm living in a nightmare

**social isolation**- I feel that lonely always just in my room either reading or doing work. I honestly don’t talk to anyone in college.

**disorganized behavior**- Constantly get up and literally just stand in place in my room forgetting what I need to do like using the restroom, go to my computer get dressed for class.

**agitation**- my mom calls me from time to time to check up on me and I honestly yell out her or am getting irritated by her simply asking me things. I also have a hard time sometimes sleeping because I just feel like I shouldn’t when I have nothing to do.


**Delusions** - I see things out of the corner of my eyes and I quickly try to look at it and it’s not there. I think I hear things around me.


**Losing Interest in activities**- I love basketball and played it all my life and my brother tries to get me to play and I honestly just have no interest even my ps4 which I played so much while I was at home.

**Lack of Emotional responses**.

Excuse my grammar and formatting I kinda got lost in thought and just poured everything out. Is see a college counselor something worth using? I’ve always thought counseling as something for the weak but lately I’ve kinda just want to have a venting from for my anxiety and depression. ",2.0103513656218475,4.794438103585662,3.434532232515725,81.21122377958052,95.25498007968129,6.243978303652859,27.163730619689908,7.4734670217049,2.3605805404886486,2176,106,363,48,83,709,247,502,0.101,0.833,0.067,-0.9338,1,3,2,0,0,0,92.0,0,0,1,3,21,28,1,5,27,0,24,13,3,3,4,70,65,32,0,5,16,2,6,2,0,2,9,2,4,1,24,24,0,0,13,6,2,5,7,16,0,1,13,16,58,12,67,49,8,65,0,8,8,1,22,33,0,8,26,255,82,16,0.07365739047470894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529283242319893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058903788550942526,0.18386654833645144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269540420801773,0.0,0.0,0.051502960039548816,0.0,0.0,0.06557069379612104,0.13771943415404694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490086157020146,0.0,0.06267701417082458,0.16597331150539674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521243106463528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959747183579981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344100248463526,0.0,0.0,0.07695629586965712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828546502703282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730002345830194,0.0,0.0,0.07038279311670742,0.06619851310271314,0.0,0.0,0.24865512677265755,0.14897355912386662,0.05262085447257458,0.07072264587702938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924147321317792,0.0,0.04186119244200669,0.0,0.058910543893299534,0.0,0.0,0.0729323969683957,0.0,0.0,0.06598255407941507,0.07272142375712426,0.0,0.0,0.08301723232107798,0.0,0.049370996204042575,0.0,0.07388436830266096,0.0,0.07253769246615754,0.0,0.0,0.08315022823756359,0.159125242768702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308874474557529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081055728004557,0.07197056081487757,0.0,0.13008165051023696,0.0,0.12370731382185553,0.08240377911039255,0.08040574274009395,0.0,0.06647867067995078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626664549781436,0.0,0.0,0.054146657126881874,0.054616021727590884,0.056809120368182364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067625271128984,0.0,0.07729104079647202,0.0,0.04991215405391132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062862743113308,0.05106476022478641,0.0,0.07695629586965712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054341929145595,0.0,0.1588302498570748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103196963194396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629030090082574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490904230816107,0.23478161501540085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371058496121001,0.07508443369505774,0.062409667921954265,0.11341011552388293,0.07284904259408476,0.0,0.10427016018101436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311646322864836,0.055381190861632984,0.05920302037120893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957387892014245,0.0471966816611207,0.0,0.23390296170625105,0.17180086689138474,0.0,0.0,0.07038279311670742,0.0,0.10001706626846614,0.0,0.0,0.07667994115156565,0.0,0.12723267194460386,0.0,0.0,0.043445037299165365,0.05846580808950633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100309594751074,0.0,0.053623457520874704,0.0,0.0,0.052324096859458206,0.0,0.0,0.23716472256652404
mentalhealth,devinisdabomb,2018/02/15,"Dont know whats happening I've been feeling really down since mid December, but recently I've started getting worse and worse. I can barely focus on homework anymore, and I've cut a handful of times, but I keep doing it more often. Recently, I've started getting these 'attacks' ? (idk what to call them) where I get stressed have a really hard time focusing, I have trouble breathing, and I get a weird feeling in my upper stomach and lower chest, and these don't stop until I can go sit down somewhere quiet, and sometime they don't stop until I cut or mime cutting but with my fingernails when I'm at school. What's going on with me what would that be called",10.591153846153851,6.806775807692307,10.162307692307696,68.51269230769233,60.153846153846146,12.861538461538462,43.69230769230769,10.355215969177356,4.5428923076923065,525,23,96,8,5,172,84,130,0.218,0.7240000000000001,0.058,-0.9691,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,0,3,7,4,1,3,0,11,4,4,0,0,20,25,13,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,3,3,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,1,5,12,0,12,22,1,23,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,2,11,60,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186412315813695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567913410039866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333188507295325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128522854279856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505149086851978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34108966547021696,0.0,0.18551620200850275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443293266040644,0.0,0.14620740735696708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507182644434802,0.0,0.0,0.08969797534290454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091177376391632,0.0,0.3223076562716381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518096733782006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501205055878582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614225122795188,0.0,0.23104697896982224,0.0,0.0,0.2729079052957981,0.186960729881664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903424297552702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332657386673794,0.1159423221918424,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,csg1234,2018/02/15,"Subject Line: Invitation to complete an anonymous online research survey regarding mental health treatment preferences Hello, 

You are invited to complete a survey for a WMU psychology department research project designed to assess treatment preferences among adults seeking treatment for a variety of concerns. We hope to learn if and how preferences for treatment change over time, and if patient’s perception of their treatment’s match to their preferences is related to the benefit received from treatment. The survey is open to anyone ages 18 or older who is currently engaged in mental health treatment for at least one month and four therapy sessions, and not longer than one year. 

If you choose to participate, you will be asked to provide some demographic/background information, respond to survey items about your preferences for treatment and how they have changed over time, and about your quality of life. The survey may take between 30-40 minutes to complete. Your responses to the survey items will be anonymous and kept confidential. 

Clicking the “SURVEY” link below will take you to a page asking you to read through a consent form explaining the purpose of this research, the content of the survey, the type of questions you will be asked, the amount of time it may take to complete the survey, and the risks and benefits of your participation. At the end of the form you can click “AGREE” to consent to the use of the answers you provide and to begin completing the survey.

Thank you for your time and interest.

https://wmichcas.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_afS6lEMGYYG0JjT

Project Title: Treatment preference, retention, and treatment outcome at a university-based outpatient psychology clinic
Principle Investigator: Scott Gaynor, Ph.D.
Student Investigator: Chelsea Sage-Germain

If you have any questions prior to or during the study, you may contact Chelsea Sage-Germain, M.A. at Chelsea.e.sage@wmich.edu or (269) 387-4497 or Dr. Scott Gaynor at (269) 387-4482. You may also contact the Chair of Human Subjects Institutional Review Board at 269-387-8293 or the vice president for research at 269-387-8298 with any concerns that you have.
",12.124822222222221,12.429610517142866,9.727047619047617,59.95717460317461,53.828571428571436,12.12063492063492,46.58730158730158,11.429527900616536,5.811168253968253,1771,95,234,38,18,526,175,350,0.006,0.926,0.068,0.9619,1,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,1,18,3,0,5,7,0,1,27,0,19,5,0,3,0,50,31,24,0,11,10,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,4,15,0,1,15,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,1,2,22,6,56,19,8,27,0,0,2,0,37,13,0,17,12,162,26,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173608115428844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560177794998513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021011615896352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321723988359901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24270264832808916,0.0,0.6013728847836507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160182055642422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438694724228226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393606195879764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102530492827192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312077904551756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915629584154974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546522651645947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570100090254664,0.0,0.11474421370091305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25875008438091074,0.0,0.0,0.10561247536876557,0.13118450803343035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675606893076998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990753481747005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738715209038921
mentalhealth,Lapadas,2018/02/15,"Friend had a breakdown. How can I help? Hi, my friend was at her friends house working on some songs. When she tried to harmonize it didn’t go so well and apparently she had a breakdown and left because she was too embarrassed.I’m wondering what I could say to her that would make her feel better and what advice should I provide to her?",2.4097402597402606,4.936909757575759,2.7477489177489183,92.1559090909091,80.2121212121212,6.195670995670996,24.58008658008658,7.447530270364453,1.1143359307359315,268,10,55,4,7,82,49,66,0.0,0.713,0.287,0.9633,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,2,0,11,13,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,4,11,6,5,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,2,1,40,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426633442784759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513785042380243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196260233758502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198269780391458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556214826706175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5755730197944059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113058137166226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664490902123152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865372850501577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698092061362372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657609343661404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748047146622216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859847852055174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232767839856913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693012303725831,0.18078581362831572,0.0,0.0,0.1764051566317138,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chokesmaster,2018/02/15,"My Gf Mental illness is getting into me... Before I start, I'm from Canada, Quebec.

I've been with her for 14 years now and she has been hospitalized multiple times throughout the years but she recently got back in hospital and has been there for almost 3 months now and I'm really starting to lose faith in her recovery...

She have a Schizoaffective disorder (Bipolar) and I often have to get angry at her so she ""snap out"" of one of her made up scenario where she think that the current situation will go so bad that we are going to be left homeless. I always try at first to calmly reassure her but it doesn't work. I don't like to get angry as I feel like I could lose control of myself.

I have 2 kids with her ( 6 year old Daughter and a 7 month son ) and I had to stop working to take care of them and it's starting to be very hard for me.

On top of that I've been saying to my gf, psychiatrist that I need help for myself... I think that I have depression and **NOTHING** is actually being done to help me. I don't have motivation to do anything it's always a burden to do normal tasks in the house and I'M very irritated all the time.... and also, always tired.

I'm just letting that out as I don't know what to do.... and before asking, no I do not have any suicidal ideas. My kids are too important for me and I still enjoy life even though this is really hard for me.

",2.174101884570081,3.7966049893992952,4.1861351590106,86.05232405771498,76.84452296819786,7.260836277974088,22.74573027090695,8.07648339933343,1.1366726737338049,1064,31,226,18,24,364,153,283,0.181,0.696,0.123,-0.9668,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,1,0,1,8,14,12,0,0,7,0,33,4,0,3,1,37,55,20,1,3,4,2,3,2,2,1,4,1,0,2,11,18,0,2,6,0,0,2,6,5,0,2,8,4,38,7,39,41,1,34,1,3,0,0,24,13,0,2,21,161,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.10988170941816616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275299632941832,0.0,0.0,0.09004646791157374,0.28107756142835016,0.0,0.0,0.07657210662694411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266050282885917,0.0,0.10526613748814677,0.0,0.0,0.08658272710857283,0.09401659801168934,0.0,0.0,0.19162922739495333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148035723342903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262908793260563,0.08990222578515776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096982525828033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904976880228167,0.0,0.0,0.11522926318697535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743714763996548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569341257214666,0.08044172030881128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577780943965816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648712344843973,0.0,0.12798675992493705,0.0,0.09005679483168781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20173561276104568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094729676360052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992569843767893,0.0,0.1271121016665743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188221358390615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234062155656275,0.11514149790411027,0.0795329648753809,0.11002169732070896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519420035279765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654518402420256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347467987602484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797530675630876,0.0,0.0,0.08349174083595735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032444633869354,0.10804308310956008,0.0,0.11815513732045492,0.0,0.07630091865018307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426934894906304,0.0,0.11117927215682384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895443264165768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656752339540464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390973449378612,0.0,0.08992279364781515,0.09413894360318427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231665190208282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466145809134001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429952929276774,0.11062928285793527,0.0,0.1313163518704442,0.12941755064534216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644825375335787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858141803738079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394880756388353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175328219699248
mentalhealth,ladyautismthrowaway,2018/02/15,"I don't know if I should have kids I'm still on the fence about having kids.  I'm a 27 year old woman.  I'm dating a man that does not want kids.

I learned that I was on the autism spectrum at age 24 but I always had depression since puberty.

Lately, I feel like I've been as close as anyone could be to committing suicide without doing so in terms of mentality.

I'm terrified of passing on this level of misery to future generations.  I also want to leave a legacy.  I don't want to be forgotten about 10 years after I die.

I also don't want to get burnt out of child rearing.  I feel like I get burnt out of a lot of things for a while before I get back into them.  I don't want to do that to a kid.  

I grew up with a family that has old fashioned values about kids.  I've talked to them about this, but they brushed me off saying that my kids will look fine without considering the mental issues that I'm concerned about. ",2.4124615384615398,3.5731642974358957,4.245128205128207,87.78153846153849,75.25641025641026,7.046153846153848,22.23076923076923,7.554174236665415,0.7393692307692312,718,18,158,9,15,244,109,195,0.19,0.74,0.07,-0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,3,0,10,4,0,0,10,0,17,0,0,0,1,25,34,9,2,8,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,9,9,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,3,5,20,3,36,26,2,27,0,1,1,0,14,12,0,2,15,103,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317427195500177,0.12056308259615962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013129742420443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141423484762107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329378189876608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568574970376128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479664558463748,0.0,0.1503766813150064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679736600356512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659279111986927,0.0,0.14652511570861335,0.2070240339460308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271027776106933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123127412666126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962973340493586,0.0,0.16344629220821785,0.153421401685354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157538845192658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167413182817068,0.0,0.0,0.12318335749230505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920373394363611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30408291948038346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152252065257566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119857483419778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571221633003828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849008149561775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645998741263915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626086973110304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273099974695699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793445202105542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661345608138236
mentalhealth,mangatherapy,2018/02/15,"A Site I Started for Anime Fans Who Want to Talk About How Anime Helped Their Mental Health Hi! I created a blog/site not too long ago for anime fans can share stories about how anime/manga improved their mental health for the better. It's called Comrades Against Suicide and the URL is http://www.comradesagainstsuicide.com

I started Comrades Against Suicide because I want anime fans who may going through mental health issues to know that they aren't alone. And like some of their favorite anime characters, people do ""kill"" their emotions for the worse at times. If you know anyone who wants to share a story at https://tonyyao.typeform.com/to/jOtHmB and/or needs some support, feel free to share the site as it also has mental health resources as well.

I'm in the process of improving the site over time. I know it hasn't been updated in a while, but I want to do what I can to help the anime community by advocating the importance of mental health. Although I am based in America, Comrades Against Suicide applies to everyone globally.

If you have any questions and feedback to share, feel free to do so!

*NOTE: I did talk about my project to the anime subreddit, but they  felt I was promoting other communities. So my post got removed. I decided to spread the word here because in the end,
maybe this is a better place to talk about it.*",6.765870199319397,8.434298780991737,6.05267379679145,77.02254010695191,65.32231404958678,8.338745746232378,32.00388915896937,8.671277953709913,2.629810597958192,1083,43,182,16,17,330,129,242,0.06,0.758,0.182,0.9692,0,1,0,0,0,4,39.0,0,2,6,3,12,12,1,0,16,0,16,5,0,2,0,27,33,16,4,7,5,0,3,1,3,1,5,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,8,0,2,2,3,1,1,0,5,3,21,13,37,27,2,24,0,0,0,0,26,12,0,6,10,121,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435954301715995,0.0,0.0,0.09856400684785506,0.0,0.0761047805665631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471662362243573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654277371222861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602548159001665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833443598977296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717584730736696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704973538823012,0.08428945471962222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093586605514048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623829219012406,0.0,0.09137496208589704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408543225192281,0.0,0.07611350859340787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057887924819754,0.0,0.0,0.12757647427760085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932931618787873,0.0,0.0,0.10528786029139668,0.0,0.15690339871191264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046493645594049816,0.0,0.0,0.08421954026673807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560774765412264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4795282820147062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056490679546344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659766114743284,0.0,0.0994289527796773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114339803369753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660849086956638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134718968939554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122907912090161,0.10799405042098148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294741807820369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098494339295717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245271560079456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855662979371108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698300393850534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NutCase11,2018/02/15,"Tried just about everything to heal myself. What's left? I'm a 21 year old male living with my family in the US. Ran into problems with substance abuse, social connection, and loss of interest in university after my freshman year. At age 8 I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, however depression hit me after heavy use of LSD, marijuana, and alcohol. I used to be great at writing, had a near photographic memory, and had intense passions, but it all seems to be gone. For the last year, I've been trying to regain my memory, concentration, and zest for life.

I have low motivation, physical energy, ruminate a lot, and am constantly stuck in a gloomy fog. I feel so mentally absent sometimes. I'm terrible at driving, and also struggle with spending too much on things. I have a fear that my drug use has done irreparable damage to my developing brain, so I have a habit of criticizing myself and feeling guilty for my past actions. I have no idea if my poor memory/concentration is a result of 9 months of marijuana use depleting critical neurotransmitters, or if it's coming from major depressive disorder.

Ive tried several antidepressants, DBT group, CBT, a healthy diet, daily exercise, good sleep hygiene, dozens of OTC supplements, and alternative therapies like aromatherapy and intermittent fasting. At this point I don't know what it will take to fix my problems, because I feel like I've done everything I can think of. I think a huge reason DBT/CBT aren't that effective is because I'm stubborn and not willing to incorporate new ideas from outside sources. I cling to the belief that *only I* can help myself grow.

I'm hanging out w/ a girl these days, and every time we meet we cuddle for hours on end. That release of oxytocin is what makes me want to connect to people on a deeper level. I'm aware from my research that this is an area of difficulty for people on the autism spectrum.

I have a hard time believing that Western medicine is the solution I need right now. I've always been more convinced by eastern or fringe medicines. You could say I'm paranoid of and despise the society I live in. Depression seems like the natural response to life right now (not my life, but Life). The world is  just really fucked up (social media, fast food, narcissism, arrogance) and I dont know my place in it quite yet. The psychiatrists I've had care very little about my wellbeing and never mention the techniques I've discovered on my own. If I have little faith in the system or in the world, how can I ever expect myself to heal?

Any help or guidance is appreciated, but what I'm looking for most are insights into the state of the world atm, or suggestions for lifestyle changes I havne't tried yet.

THANKS",6.077202380952379,7.495548029761905,6.812904761904763,71.8654285714286,66.71825396825396,10.363174603174603,33.646031746031746,10.483121756834826,3.861568888888888,2173,97,369,58,35,717,279,504,0.157,0.716,0.127,-0.9557,1,0,2,0,2,0,69.0,3,1,0,4,14,25,3,2,27,0,36,17,2,10,3,75,69,29,0,9,15,0,4,3,0,2,10,1,0,2,18,24,3,1,16,1,3,7,7,14,0,1,11,6,44,11,63,52,7,69,2,6,1,3,16,35,1,12,28,235,62,3,0.0,0.10046724026824626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061919322201024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780987687580249,0.07055555231669987,0.0,0.0,0.057662951617300735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337949288472698,0.0,0.0,0.0955340063408373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465835046298117,0.0,0.0,0.08645331999624076,0.0,0.08970100146789167,0.07304267978149387,0.0,0.09163238728087507,0.0,0.06770125472704508,0.0,0.0,0.054685232675971744,0.0,0.2190993146547835,0.08606431003679334,0.0,0.0,0.09718147903287992,0.0,0.0,0.1735477766184306,0.09937815003272044,0.0,0.098334330989197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751024771888943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670119236495845,0.07144275565265545,0.0,0.15241508681479704,0.0,0.07993640849598665,0.09541702916900732,0.1286234589121921,0.060576980711501416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253346170602784,0.0,0.0,0.07839085509530637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711213370026723,0.0,0.0934858852331964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595893198289913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367150589767183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350518898680012,0.0,0.0,0.19144462105719146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320132996326988,0.06911857582760697,0.0,0.0,0.09212912707254996,0.0,0.2395705542193253,0.12427846292056235,0.16997209360513016,0.14974963278077968,0.0,0.07120575709354822,0.0,0.0,0.07208898144390942,0.0,0.0,0.05660077506092076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545259186035592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768190725409957,0.0,0.062333480465941976,0.06287381168345632,0.06539850071371088,0.08189474956170599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889772303097053,0.0,0.0,0.0644897965407637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094564157847914,0.11757121871848547,0.0,0.08859187288481764,0.0,0.08015791008762123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227316133568667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901890502995528,0.0,0.0,0.054321324401058205,0.08718254176010412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482753659481473,0.0,0.06743173708043138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438687766934175,0.0,0.09579329018975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485541955149928,0.17287398075415478,0.0,0.0,0.08386361438454427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864529003374977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375467225363315,0.0,0.0,0.07806709051872257,0.09696953724018748,0.0,0.05633348686938945,0.10866537623871833,0.0,0.0,0.09888833908353524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302787347295387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199696076297696,0.2929397932250625,0.0,0.06996408068609307,0.050013805607312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381401976490545
mentalhealth,anon294848419,2018/02/15,"I'm Feeling Really, Really Low And Really, Really Weird.. I don't know what's going on lately, but I've just felt...really low and depressed but also really strange.

The depression is pretty normal on my part - I'm constantly in a state of feeling amazing or feeling like shit, and it's rare that there's a moment of simplicity where I'm neither energetic nor in the slums.

But for the past few weeks or so, I've felt really weird. I've felt sort of on guard. Recently, for no reason, I've felt like my friends hate me. For valentines day, I got chocolate, but I threw it away because I thought they did something to it. They invite me to eat hang out but I never want to because I feel like they'll make fun of me or hurt me or something. And I just keep feeling like people are watching me and staring at me and I'm constantly on edge like someone's watching me. I've even gone as far as to cover up the cameras on my laptop and phone. I just feel...weird. I can't stop feeling like someone's following me or looking into what I'm doing or reading my stuff - like I keep seeing things online that pertain to what I'm thinking or talking about and it's really starting to freak me out because it's directed *at me* like why else would that article or that post be saying *exactly what I was thinking or saying*?

Do you think it's anxiety? I am a little stressed right now. This semester isn't going as planned and I just can't focus enough to do anything. I don't *want* to do anything. My motivation has dropped completely...",1.8603758221108682,4.084294288025891,3.8398141768451834,85.28667397431883,80.22977346278317,6.834993214322997,26.148971708946647,7.941651935203635,1.7705061279883076,1201,50,236,22,31,407,147,309,0.14800000000000002,0.6759999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.7772,0,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,3,2,11,22,2,1,7,0,18,2,1,3,2,58,53,29,0,4,18,0,9,8,1,2,0,2,0,0,17,12,1,4,16,1,0,6,9,11,0,0,9,16,33,11,33,41,4,41,0,5,5,0,9,20,1,10,20,147,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854587107665394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557137357212127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107149404332264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053161355993847,0.0,0.0,0.1567523283715407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898700439580497,0.18525389204009096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527877473763105,0.0,0.14765158181717356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770735312577853,0.07160348323134247,0.0,0.0,0.08856601261288692,0.0,0.05661363239785575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033788589885197,0.24493788228925395,0.3291975260500719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622282591482538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742707458496323,0.0,0.0685537322149215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462534346250973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917591669859424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237400833079295,0.0,0.0,0.0471064588388502,0.0,0.09668971258657824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350062808720403,0.08590846755425792,0.0,0.0,0.071978609467017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057215108018416526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066108322342761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398203117485441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282047288327608,0.08182420861813144,0.0594236560505996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209081695783572,0.08720248227563307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573771606731788,0.09756188962653299,0.3843764167496545,0.08812880280801091,0.08463274831769776,0.0,0.0,0.07319973217146522,0.0,0.1363272540622903,0.0,0.0,0.06830337534272553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798472354327229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525127013232192,0.1319744510281439,0.0,0.0,0.060669178780653324,0.0,0.0,0.0716611771807973,0.09818569363448476,0.0,0.09812261895400977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889408477018019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694491873683776,0.16476721120872406,0.0,0.06804775487275368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111328995599414,0.0,0.0687550181255345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734402271112348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088913609400402,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlexEquilibrium,2018/02/16,"Anxiety is bringing on ADHD-like symptoms? Is this common? First of all, I don't have ADHD. However, when I become anxious, my attention span seems to decrease greatly. It's as if staying on one project, or one topic too long feels agonizing, and I must switch quickly. 

It's like focusing too much on one thing gives my brain time to focus on the anxiety, and make it worse. For example, I'll usually be able to sit down and read a book, but when I'm in this state, I won't be able to continue for longer than a couple paragraphs before I need to focus my attention elsewhere. 

I won't be able to watch long videos, and if I do, I'll need to be drawing, or browsing the internet, or have something else going on in the background. It's like I need an overabundance of stimuli to distract myself with. 

I'll get curious about a topic, and then I'll open an internet tab to read about it, and once I select an article, I'll read the opening sentence or two, and then click away and open another tab to get onto something else. It's very frustrating, as I can't finish the things I start. If I want to get a chore done, I'll get distracted halfway through, and then get distracted from the distraction, and so on.

I was just wondering if this was a common part of anxiety, or if anyone else is struggling with it. If there's any advice that's helped you, feel free to share. ",5.5755681818181815,5.462626345454545,6.4745795454545485,79.25586931818181,67.36363636363636,10.075,33.1875,9.827888789773867,3.065404545454545,1075,44,215,22,16,358,139,275,0.117,0.816,0.067,-0.9062,1,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,1,10,11,1,5,14,0,18,2,1,1,2,41,37,30,0,11,13,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,13,15,0,0,6,5,1,2,4,6,0,5,3,4,18,6,37,27,3,36,0,0,2,0,4,15,0,13,18,141,31,5,0.31716129303662977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25411082696663884,0.10330878162284382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189351839635655,0.110857089850492,0.2426275210643877,0.11943399491950503,0.0,0.07392218348619473,0.1083230750345368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932782503974924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675991002056132,0.08996030011371575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801896485536975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697764608027512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818870627514343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649475630838771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691085292660413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992574461167854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27617280877002176,0.10141667077696596,0.060083357272527636,0.0,0.0,0.1165571484168694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086217641644174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329932489465364,0.0,0.0,0.18711850923571216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056920863325085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771668114267281,0.2351710800505092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258880868639176,0.21491670036039967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448492440542975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172471213868258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624390981181308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277750565228394,0.0,0.0,0.07482946521051435,0.11268391290807488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052194886048182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988400745174418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404719134550936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164643350440481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032734993194848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643611868995812,0.08723042752429366,0.06235664933291879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464929770108695,0.0,0.0,0.10773815115054408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justanotherf1fan,2018/02/16,"Im not ok I feel pathetic saying it. I cant tell anyone in person because I'm afraid they'll judge me. But I feel alone. Years of anonymous email and text abuse has broken my trust and self belief. I thought I put it behind me; but it's coming into my mind again  I thought it was normal to swing between happy and sad each other day; but I don't think it is. I feel like I'm invisible and forgotten about sometimes. It feels like there's always something else that's more important. And now I feel lonely, unattractive, forgotten, unable, and unappreciated. I wish I could feel better, but when I bring it up; nothing changes. 

I don't know what to do. But I feel like I'm about to break down. ",1.7776291793313064,3.946834468085112,3.3179989868287763,89.21250000000002,80.20567375886525,5.730699088145897,21.418946301925022,6.868970318607317,0.4834818642350562,544,16,113,6,14,179,88,141,0.177,0.634,0.189,0.5986,0,3,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,6,10,0,1,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,31,26,12,0,3,6,0,7,3,0,1,0,1,0,2,10,9,0,0,12,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,3,8,19,7,12,21,2,13,1,2,0,0,6,4,0,0,8,67,29,0,0.0,0.1792489466947992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668647399475047,0.0,0.0,0.12588191337266658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578255608960738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222242573774876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380000504568842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004032745059985,0.13031932976003532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078940923765615,0.0,0.0,0.0975668320415293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637988188376112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5354625590088141,0.3242358391898528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104655814793664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634146358338132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831427248417748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217318154244183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275554160502886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822797301557272,0.1451628151254659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209693413522144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520840247116586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203085484700848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782409428880909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164672078781658,0.14962553469481082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223046634114854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693783854805756,0.0,0.2402080690820187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397121559278372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742310169397896
mentalhealth,8426throwaway,2018/02/16,"How to best accept and navigate mental health treatment? I began medication roughly a year ago and while the process has been long and difficult it seems to be working. I have made several attempts to start some form of psychotherapy but it seems to be heavily discouraged. Rarely are my calls returned and even when they are most practitioners only initially diagnose to transition to long-term medication management.
This difficulty in accessing treatment combined with what I believe are psychological barriers and my general ND have prevented me from progressing as I'd like. 

I tend to be obsessive and very neurotic so I find myself constantly reading about potential conditions, different medications, symptom overlap *ad nauseum*  
My ideal treatment plan is to medicate the physical symptoms while I use psychotherapy to restructure my processes, with the ultimate goal of reducing my reliance on meds as much as possible. I understand SD is unreliable but I don't know how else to proceed my care without getting professional help. 

To those of you that are involved with MH/ND treatment, what recommendations do you have for someone in my situation? 

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mentalhealth,spookythesquid,2018/02/16,"i`m slipping and need help i`m 13 and underweight some would say i`m slightly anorexic :( . I don`t want to be put in a hospital and a tube forced down my nose . I can`t barely walk up stairs without getting tired and my  hips stick out and you can feel my ribs under my clothes. I want to be able to run and do other active things

any advice to gain weight i`m worried i will become fat and i won`t be able to be a police officer . I try and eat bigger meals i can`t even finish a meal of the childs menu :( . i stuff my face with cake and i don`t seem to gain weight urgh any advice . I feel bad if i eat unhealthy food . my mum and friends helping me gain weight but my dad - who`s a doctor says i`m a normal weight and any girl would die for my figure",0.8383728036669211,3.0779610649350637,1.8117723453017585,98.20782658517956,84.45454545454545,4.402750190985485,17.500381970970206,5.5289334501034215,-0.6489361344537818,580,13,130,3,17,181,95,154,0.108,0.777,0.114,-0.4711,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,7,0,9,16,5,0,0,27,16,13,1,7,3,2,6,0,1,3,3,2,0,2,3,13,10,0,4,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,9,21,1,15,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,3,1,70,24,1,0.2493995085506696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437103133142733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544003271320239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411908610768876,0.0,0.13772108143498427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941865738561412,0.0,0.0,0.12763548248182513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551979599029014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236301162746636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610388513999032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078743785155185,0.0,0.09634272082200868,0.0,0.06515047481630741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716723346550036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246328773031164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217928292505675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535769534995192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983324993627904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352197289703142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275138449043684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284497576638336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332402346459278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466294764610237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471022918616391,0.0,0.0,0.60740282559185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020611320031425,0.0,0.0,0.12663865353672066,0.0,0.17716625525292312,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,okamon,2018/02/16,"I'm trying to quantify each person's daily conversation and researching whether it can help the people who struggle their mental health. Could you tell me the advice from a mental health perspective? It always records the daily conversation of a person who is struggling to stabilize his or her mental health. And It can visualize and report on changes in trends and comparison with the average.

The items are the amount of utterance , the number of positive words / negative words, the number of sigh, the amount laughed with voice, etc.

If there are people who strongly need such services, I would like to ask you in detail why it is necessary.",8.399127686472816,9.52814522123894,7.726953223767384,68.41637168141595,61.38938053097346,11.058912768647282,34.72692793931732,10.914260884657429,4.145501643489253,522,21,80,13,7,163,73,113,0.071,0.7859999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,2,6,0,2,11,0,8,3,0,0,0,15,11,7,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,13,9,5,3,0,0,0,0,15,3,0,2,1,59,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861275946473874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135059440439138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174301592156006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170820250550625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959566299501593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102461041008486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5176011351027685,0.0,0.0,0.10879661115472516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929912014741351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907273288257718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035483452991745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250581632553915,0.28345514506459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393746594395118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187084001631967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102015221920486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646442887430766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530422429625847,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MiaForaKiEnanKairo,2018/02/16,"Antidepressants, Antidepressant Withdrawals (Paxil, Prozac, etc.), and Doctors Aren't Listening Hello, everyone.

My name is Maria and I'm 31 years old. 

Last year, I came off of Paxil after being on it for 13 years. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety (as well as ADHD) when I was 17 years old.

At first, Paxil worked WONDERFULLY for me. Over the years, however, my depression/anxiety waxed and waned, and I wasn't really sure the Paxil was effective for me anymore. As a matter of fact, looking back, the psychiatrist who originally prescribed them to me didn't REALLY do what I would consider to be a very good or thorough psychological analysis of me... and I was wondering if I should have ever been on Paxil in the first place. I was also experiencing some side effects that I wasn't happy with. 

I tried to come off of it SEVERAL times, and it was always an absolute DISASTER. I tried quitting cold turkey, against advice, that was a huge mistake. I tried weaning myself over the course of weeks - even MONTHS. There was NOTHING I could do that didn't result in severe emotional and physical symptoms. I felt physically ill, I had hallucinations, nightmares. I even had the terrible ""brain zaps"" they talk about. It was a BEAST to come off of and I always ended up going back to it because I felt like I was losing my mind and I just could NOT feel better. 

Well, finally, last year, I powered through it and feel like I really risked my relationship with my boyfriend, bless his heart. Things were really, really rough for SEVERAL months. I was struggling at home, I was struggling at work... it was just really bad. But I was determined to get off of it to see if, in the end, I really needed it. 

I finally got off of it and I feel pretty confidently that I DO need SOMETHING to assist me with my depression and anxiety - because they're still here. They are, unfortunately, very much alive and well. But I'm TERRIFIED of taking another antidepressant because so many of them have reputations for withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms - or serious side effects. I am EXTREMELY sensitive to medication and can't even take a singular Benadryl without feeling totally hungover and disconnected the next day.

Well, I saw a new psychiatrist and told him about my experience with Paxil and how I had recently come off of it after so many trials and so many errors, and he totally minimized it. He looked at me like I had 3 heads when I told him how difficult it was to come off of it and how it made my life extremely hard for MONTHS. I was to the point where I thought I was either going to have to quit my job or they were going to fire me. I just couldn't function. He basically glossed over it like I had just said ""I just didn't feel well for a day or so"" and tried to prescribe me Prozac, which also has been known to have discontinuation issues. Not to mention he also tried to convince me to buy hundreds of dollars worth of supplements that he swore would help me. I told him I didn't have room in my budget for such a hefty amount of vitamins and supplements and he suggested that I work more.

Can you believe this?

I was barely making it through my regular work week with my anxiety and depression and with the recent discontinuation of the Paxil, I TOLD him this, and he said I needed to consider working more.

I was flabbergasted. And so offended.

So I tried a NEW psychiatrist.

And guess what?

Exactly the same thing.

She prescribed me Prozac almost immediately once I told her my story, even when I specifically asked her if there were any other options. And again, she completely disregarded everything I said. She was like ""you probably just didn't wean yourself good enough."" And acted like my symptoms lasted for a day, not 3 straight, whole months. 

I almost lost it.

I had struggled for SO. LONG. 

My life was a living hell and my family was ready to check me into a hospital.

On TOP of this, the second psychiatrist said, upon meeting her,  that she and the rest of her office only dealt with medicine management. But their website specifically says they provide psychotherapy and tests/assessments. I really wanted psychotherapy as WELL as assistance with finding the right medication - AND to have new tests and/assessments done. Because maybe my problem is deeper. Maybe I have bipolar or borderline personality. Because my issues are significant and make my life and relationships very, very difficult. So I feel misled AND like I've just been given a prescription to shut me up.

What is going on here? 

I feel so disgusted and defeated and like I'm being totally gaslighted (gaslit?) by professionals who are supposed to be helping me.

Has anyone else had this experience? Whether it be with severe drug discontinuation issues or with pushy psychiatrists who don't listen to anything you say?

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mentalhealth,Uniscious,2018/02/16,"[RANT: Depression] Society at large causes the mental health disorders it encourages INDIVIDUALS to develop awareness of. Being aware of depression is not stopping the causes of it. Causes are most often societal implications. Practices, restrictions, expectations, and forced activities that we either do not connect with on a personal level because of disagreement or misunderstanding, or that drain from us any left-over resources we might use to explore new parts of ourselves, potentially leading us into a drive free from depression. Most importantly, we are not given the TIME to explore. Only expected to settle and succeed. This is incredibly unhealthy for the mental state of anything living, not just humans.

The only way to fix this is to gather the many afflicted together to determine what is a societal problem and what is a personal issue, and we need to first develop the tools and resources for use against personal angst and THEN move on to society and do, objectively (very important), the same.

Until we stop living a life based around reward, sales and maintenance will the depressed, the forgotten, and the angry ever see the light of contentment again and the number of occupants of these fields will grow ever larger.",11.026354810238313,11.44768837864078,10.444704324801414,53.53458517210947,55.990291262135926,14.092850838481905,43.484554280670785,13.172668634160411,6.597316504854369,1010,51,130,34,11,327,125,206,0.149,0.762,0.08900000000000001,-0.9366,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,7,0,0,4,6,9,0,0,18,0,13,2,0,6,2,48,18,14,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,9,18,0,3,2,0,2,6,4,5,0,1,1,2,7,5,30,13,5,24,0,4,1,0,15,6,0,6,10,105,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131282637303551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839728473018088,0.10644412451137122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288977167920563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684990847498675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119475684425477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703947698897312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163188169335898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170758951819386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709907891503894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480174318206105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991495411591028,0.0,0.08445699679325472,0.0,0.0,0.2111679258207796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122689167978686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410002114072235,0.12684663127361853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270857472390709,0.0,0.08866086784384995,0.0,0.11548305047180905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818792650003085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948445128511854,0.0,0.0,0.31321607380030725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441392629590415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528312884481996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999345169760074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972319418873484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876599594186883,0.20654303912805366,0.0,0.09865913876442037,0.0,0.09491041493761804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Speedygonzales24,2018/02/16,"Why Does She Seem To Enjoy Anger or Combativeness? I am an adult child who just graduated, and is living at home in the meantime. My mom has some mental health issues. She exhibits some of the behavior of a person who grew up with a narcissist parent, and she gets explosively angry at the drop of a hat. This isn't necessarily a mental health issue, but on top of all that she seems to enjoy combative debate anyway. 

I don't get it, she seems to RELISH being angry and combative. Not all, but the vast majority of incidents she has can be summed up with ""You assumed instead of asking."", ""You didn't let me finish."", ""Stop treating me like an opponent."", or ""I understand that you're anxious, but please don't take it out on me.""

I want to be compassionate here. I don't think that she's a bad person. That being said, it's starting to feel like we're two people lost at sea after a shipwreck.  I'd be happy to help her keep afloat, but I can't force her to take my help. I understand and accept that. However, there's still a problem. If she doesn't want my help, then I should just be able to float all by myself. That doesn't happen. Instead, it's like she's trying to take me down with her.",3.4204195481788844,4.654841390041497,5.005940525587828,83.01955163669898,72.85892116182572,7.845182111572154,23.762332872291374,8.344100000000001,1.3354064545873672,929,25,190,15,18,314,129,241,0.103,0.715,0.182,0.9664,2,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,0,2,8,13,1,0,13,0,21,2,0,0,3,38,41,12,0,5,10,2,1,3,0,1,2,1,1,4,13,8,0,2,9,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,3,2,30,9,30,30,6,20,0,1,0,0,28,12,0,9,9,134,43,1,0.1247645790422989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409484614922837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663803942438793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417321208037143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918232389357707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308471991993853,0.08913184019695998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036868616300515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032890520575506,0.1328142143784475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652378265344461,0.0,0.0,0.2508812022227963,0.0,0.12514904546140307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604436113297687,0.0,0.11089649043892576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758023512960126,0.0,0.18286101365326415,0.0,0.11016940908740017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619527627707265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514667014649404,0.0,0.0,0.14612276706465238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853630013400198,0.0,0.0,0.08649604978239057,0.2178792360511648,0.0,0.1369540416885275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938285231903105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186796854703448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407429607906827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830901120590331,0.0,0.0996371539881568,0.104308774667398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814223088890994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994410447740452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470695940766154,0.0,0.12187686472194345,0.2597686536844732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717876251585355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125806266968015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jonnybgoodeeee,2018/02/16,"I made a song inspired by the school shootings https://soundcloud.com/jonnybgoodee/we-dont-need-no-guns-raw-version
It’s from the perspective of a mentally ill person but no way glorifying the shootings. Just portraying it. Tell me what you think. Very important to listen and follow along start to finish. ",10.801818181818176,15.58157918181818,7.955636363636363,53.69845454545455,64.0,8.974545454545455,29.25454545454545,9.3871,3.584087272727273,260,9,31,6,5,75,38,44,0.096,0.7140000000000001,0.19,0.6848,0,0,0,3,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,6,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,21,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994761826078104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225225468738155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434987990728223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527375511522381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976189510996289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34496057418680376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24125690693696386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979198037676051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21840429544719886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812387216198232,0.0,0.2705525722173528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kattbel,2018/02/16,"I'm worried that I may be forming a mild form of Tourette Syndrome. Hello, I'm from the USA.

Since I was a child, I've suffered from OCD. It used to be very acute and hard to deal with. Since then, I've gotten it to a manageable state that only flares up when under a lot of pressure.

Now on a note I previously thought was unrelated, I've been having intrusive thoughts for the past two to three years. There are unfortunate things that have happened in my life that keep trying to replay in my head, and in order to stop them I'll try to think of something... *Anything*... In order to distract myself and stop the intrusive thoughts. These distractions are usually silly or disgusting phrases like, ""Mable shouldn't be fucking dogs!"" and odd things akin to that.

The distractions have now become physical impulses. I'll mutter the phrases, or maybe cover my face in order to ""hide"" myself from the intrusive thoughts. On rare occasions, I've caught myself unintentionally saying some of these disgusting phrases out loud.

Before then, it never even *occurred* to me that my behavior was anything like Tourette Syndrome. I always thought it was a mental condition you were born with that showed up before adulthood. I only considered it after the first time I found myself embarrassed at something awful I said out loud. Upon looking further into this, I've been finding articles that suggest invasive thoughts are a link between OCD and Tourette Syndrome. It's all starting to make a bit more sense.

I hope to re-build better habits so that I don't need to respond to the invasive thoughts by saying awful things or reacting physically anymore. 

Has anyone had this experience or perhaps some insight as to whether or not I am experiencing Tourette Syndrome? Thank you very much for your time.",5.674430769230767,7.866384643076923,5.696076923076923,76.4884230769231,68.72307692307693,8.323076923076924,33.730769230769226,8.950670267944501,3.2117076923076926,1439,69,235,27,26,452,180,325,0.125,0.83,0.045,-0.973,1,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,0,3,1,2,6,15,3,5,16,2,22,4,2,3,2,44,46,16,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,2,1,5,0,1,22,10,0,3,12,1,0,1,4,9,0,3,19,8,23,6,46,22,9,38,0,1,1,1,12,16,1,10,19,161,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773315997613848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456651856231314,0.07372495116609437,0.0,0.17353356867426808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644838204800942,0.17944055275395107,0.0,0.0,0.09325165889979556,0.11511137815443008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870231685604152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964104075197527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313894572295654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636874862799394,0.08968581307272684,0.0,0.11560771682686695,0.0,0.09747606254816274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932387913700033,0.0,0.094452058164882,0.0,0.10821017381790332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472407978218297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371845679441412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074474230123493,0.1030237112080317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854166501693858,0.0,0.0,0.08963992108156751,0.0,0.0,0.07038092240995522,0.0,0.10592700204207336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625706504866796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750932469553633,0.07818120612215321,0.08132056141466218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038124430925246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065284288469792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029602317534718,0.16769762782641076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443939787816448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623431977952123,0.0,0.0,0.07462981216538894,0.0,0.0,0.17630237626552447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707347354617274,0.0,0.0,0.21014567896831726,0.06756064210670379,0.0,0.5859439482366344,0.1229639084057874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317144724801115,0.0,0.10299795453826943,0.0,0.0,0.09106488751951933,0.11612545462743094,0.1739953747612748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707777019636086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789884533281469
mentalhealth,SinisterLp,2018/02/16,"[Survey] Dissertation project about Depression suffers who own dogs. -Hi have edited the link! Thank you all who participated!

Hi there, I am in the final year of my degree in Animal Behaviour Science and Welfare (BSc) at the University of Greenwich, and I am conducting a preliminary study to find out how dog owners that suffer from depression feel their dogs effect their mental health (if at all) the main aim looks at whether the severity of depression and the owners view on how the dog effects their depression are linked. In order to do this I have set up a survey which asks questions in order to find this out.

Background:
Personally I have suffered from depression since the age of 14 (i'm now 22) and wanted to do this study because I believe my involvement with animals has helped me in my good times and stopped me relapsing as badly as I could've.

Privacy Protection:
The study is completely anonymous does NOT ask for any personal identifying information such as name, email address, age, gender, or race as to avoid privacy issues on what is a delicate subject.

 *WARNING* 
The survey includes questions asked in the PHQ-9 self assessment form used by medical professionals to find a patients depression severity; this in turn includes asking whether you have had thoughts of self-harm or suicide (*no details are asked this is just a tick box*).
 
The project has been approved by the University of Greenwich and Hadlow College's ethics committees and already has 67 respondents (Needing 100+ to finish).

The survey takes around 15 minutes to complete.

[This is the link] (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/99HNWFN)

Thank you for your participation.
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mentalhealth,theloveoflordjesus,2018/02/16,"The only time things seem real is if I'm focusing on a particular situation If I'm on my phone, watching stuff, playing games, writing, cooking, stuff like that I usually feel okay but then as soon as I look up and see the whole world around me I feel lost and confused and like nothing is real. I hate disassociating, irs scary and not pleasant and I have to constantly escape from reality to feel like reality is actually there. Why is my head so fucked up. ",4.190513643659712,5.920036494382025,6.074189406099521,74.15921348314609,71.69662921348315,9.130658105939006,30.69181380417336,9.606745405546679,3.004086998394864,364,16,69,9,7,126,61,89,0.201,0.64,0.159,-0.8601,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,2,1,3,1,5,3,1,0,0,18,16,12,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,8,6,10,15,1,11,0,1,3,1,3,6,1,4,8,44,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.17426820595748968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589739575578324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298141252981169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27088606465375475,0.12757750454174413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650942248109411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763106635695552,0.18327448089418816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617353321585851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996212574978507,0.0,0.19494103834731505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135221466172584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581804861253735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065260073484753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423050464315266,0.16257241905840414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20073127139532151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40886248376949297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186405395666622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413136624156588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966805122340796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114056864511436,0.19937806260903015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DustDevil67,2018/02/16,"How to find a mental health facility? I really feel like the best thing for me right now would be to be put in a hospital or some kind of facility. I have no idea how to go about finding one, are there any websites or something i could look on? Do they cost a lot of money? Also some basic information on it would be very helpful.

I live in Australia, if that helps anything.",2.999649122807013,4.45436457894737,4.721052631578949,83.77570175438599,74.26315789473685,7.698245614035088,25.824561403508767,8.344100000000001,1.5978666666666663,292,10,61,5,6,99,59,76,0.028,0.8059999999999999,0.166,0.9003,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,9,1,0,2,0,16,12,6,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,6,3,11,6,4,8,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,6,2,47,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660803716300834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167716605030775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714446424929606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863815817846852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634115387357176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053420878580213,0.14883689985294973,0.0,0.0,0.3808348040610614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840343851624965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145383590132506,0.0,0.0,0.2792894981016038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351885448647419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169522455326344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178355387546467,0.0,0.183966507041322,0.0,0.17495167327601244,0.0,0.0,0.17712174468991235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995597184790016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117540182170155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20943750214474505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334668288976779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791974201199495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603889767253503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841068744376786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190088954701935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959950552770334,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kasumier,2018/02/16,"The rest of the art from my hospital stay Art I made in the hospital https://imgur.com/gallery/aMTyC

Someone asked to see the rest of what I made In there so here it is.",4.068020833333332,6.5985005937500025,3.6887500000000015,87.61458333333336,74.3125,8.016666666666666,23.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,1.482529166666667,137,4,28,3,3,41,22,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,6,3,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547595031105629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7181400865497838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023938109896435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215293893311007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4044716874078388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,playstationandpizza,2018/02/16,"Are trauma-induced mental disorders hereditary? Just a curious question, it’s not really something that would affect me negatively, but I  do want to know if there has been any scientific/medical conclusions to this question.

It’s known that some mental disorder can be hereditary and passed on to the next generation. For me, as far as I know, none of my family members has had a history of mental illness. However, in my early 20s, a traumatic life event caused me to develop anxiety, including generalized anxiety disorder. In a situation like this, would a mental disorder still run the risk of being passed on to the next generation?",9.518869047619047,9.598479339285717,10.654285714285717,51.92404761904766,59.17857142857143,16.038095238095238,43.66666666666667,14.554592549557764,7.474459523809522,514,28,74,24,6,180,75,112,0.215,0.733,0.052000000000000005,-0.9683,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,8,0,11,2,0,2,0,18,14,5,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,15,8,2,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,4,6,57,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778684740188036,0.0,0.19750973979554504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261283352051292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5918015246093518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169625552754602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189094906968053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118135256419044,0.06306773039851524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339188267382785,0.0,0.520376666912729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745811771678935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892247090735709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269950951371302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510458640609733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938117070842896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309287430697094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614168539230827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183406214803092,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RepresentativeBug,2018/02/16,internal screaming does anyone else feel like occassionally every cell of their being is screaming out and distorting and everything just becomes too much? i don’t know how else to explain it but it’s not anxiety or panic because i’ve felt those too and they’re not the same. ,5.5403846153846175,7.477988423076923,6.0453846153846165,74.8746153846154,68.61538461538461,9.046153846153846,32.230769230769226,9.516144504307137,3.2637923076923068,226,10,38,5,4,73,44,52,0.097,0.77,0.133,0.446,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,15,7,6,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,4,2,1,3,5,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212698270819028,0.0,0.0,0.19441059942875946,0.2848827369035125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948935373864946,0.3070710715760249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24331288381533844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645300605507237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23425896465517945,0.0,0.2498825815780004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405843416867053,0.19863036712086346,0.26696003428896536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280238606578606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583529818965828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438988479530568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32621762784372993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nealius,2018/02/16,"30 and feeling like I'm senile Memory problems, cognitive problems, constantly down over *something* even if everything else is going well, I feel like I'm going insane.

* I can remember what the buttons for a video game do. I can remember procedures for a flight simulation. I can remember stupid crap a school bully said to me 16 years ago. But for the life of me I cannot remember and balance all the adult tasks I have to do every day or at work. I have a wall calendar next to my computer. I have a whiteboard in the kitchen. I have alarms set on my phone's calendar, and I **still** manage to forget things. ""Hey, can you do this for me on this day?"" Yeah, sure, *writes it on the calendar*.....*totally forgets it 30 seconds later.* It's a frequent point of contention with my girlfriend because I'm constantly forgetting her work schedule or plans despite them being written on a calendar that's less than a meter from my head for most of the damn day.

* My brain refuses to work. I sit down with a book to plan my classes for the next school term, (I teach) and my brain refuses to process what's on the page in front of me. Turn on a video game and I'm (mostly) fine. Even then there are days where I literally can't do anything mentally demanding because I just can't focus or process information. Today I dumped coffee beans straight into the filter before grinding them. Yeah, I know that's normal for most people when they wake up, but this was three hours after I woke up, and I have moments of incredible stupidity like this **all throughout the day**. My brain constantly feels foggy. There are some days when I have clarity, but even then I forget things. For one or two days I might feel great, then the next day I'm down in the dumps because I have to waste the day on chores. 

* I'm unorganized and inconsistent. I constantly lose things, unless they're very important to me. And of course, the things that are important to me are typically not important for real life. When I try to organize, my organization methods are inconsistent. Even organizing something as simple as an outline, my method will suddenly change halfway through the outline and I end up confusing myself. I can't even manage my time. The only reason I'm able to manage time at work is because it's already structured.

* I'm always worried about something and it sours my mood. I can have 99 things going well for me, but one single negative will dominate my mind and put me into a funk. *Will I ever get a higher paying job? Will I be spending the rest of my life working to make ends meet and never get to enjoy my hobbies? Will I be able to stay competitive in my field? Why do I have to use so much energy to identify and avoid all the deception and manipulation in adult life? Why can't I remember anything?* 

* I'm burned out on chores, errands, and work. I don't want to do anything unless it gives an immediate, positive return with minimal effort. I can hardly remember anything that's important. I don't know what's wrong with me or how to get out of it.
",2.453146258503402,5.0185223758503446,4.024149659863948,82.8351360544218,80.34353741496601,7.406802721088438,25.829931972789122,8.418075326091056,2.099631972789117,2399,97,450,54,63,796,261,588,0.109,0.8009999999999999,0.09,-0.8767,2,1,5,0,0,0,91.0,0,1,3,10,19,23,6,3,32,2,45,11,6,5,6,81,74,37,0,5,14,0,5,3,1,6,4,1,3,2,23,23,1,3,14,5,2,5,10,13,2,5,4,7,66,9,76,61,13,80,0,1,0,0,19,31,2,12,44,307,89,19,0.1222178700044476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416938377731905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743522934488506,0.0,0.05084752925656712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011497867524939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900575833890928,0.0,0.05199920280115672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20465334420203765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464515047673186,0.0,0.0,0.26414819756208313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35469186894338245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051048673867086086,0.0,0.1082487566382241,0.0,0.0,0.20180937618438347,0.05527653026206551,0.051486913346128656,0.0,0.05492077045312328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359405462071227,0.08731247075146248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578068908114676,0.05862125876062482,0.10418884805317062,0.0,0.0,0.06737281657344367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474160274391157,0.0,0.06271539724045658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060179991519625387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064118872635075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716774508101521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726521919919245,0.08956421673165435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836526720728202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04079068863264136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158343350733717,0.06482692307243731,0.06170260415306812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04492209851081338,0.0,0.047130977920060255,0.0,0.19497013692185253,0.0,0.05987378164675665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281799173835043,0.046476098743264985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042365241198058436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776769573045895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694599571037555,0.0,0.06143135807833745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695553464809865,0.0,0.06283016286103855,0.0,0.0,0.4153470652954856,0.0,0.05812859099242334,0.0,0.0,0.12369100934517185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141133931031468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513399390984809,0.048801674430405284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057594448045056125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029903053453765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126622284966863,0.0,0.057924125101886374,0.0,0.0,0.041488955570666106,0.06646897340999358,0.05969455002162954,0.0,0.0,0.052778499414065635,0.0,0.050421271222235324,0.036043633142223065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988854291012312,0.0,0.11028261790539197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669281949131329,0.06205908979305263,0.0,0.0,0.06681302738360206,0.0,0.0393521506062978
mentalhealth,throwawaytothenth123,2018/02/16,"What happened? Trigger warning possibly.

I have been battling anxiety and i guess also depression for the past year, and have felt at various times that the only way out is death.

 Two days ago after work i was feeling extremely desperate from being rejected online and just hopeless about every aspect of my life.  Stupid I know, but i have major major rejection issues i guess? Traumatized from childhood rejection maybe, that i just can't seem to get over.

Anyway, all i remember is going to the kitchen, grabbing a dirty knife and trying to cut through my vein on my arm. Well the knife was too dull and I snapped out of it.

What the hell was that? I don't even remember my state of mind at that point other than pure emotional pain and rage, but then i also felt nothing.   It's weird - it was almost like i was in a daze.

Also - should i mention this to my therapist or since its passed just leave it be?",3.014888438133873,5.4361491839080465,3.931649763353618,85.10479716024344,77.27586206896551,7.312508451656524,25.75253549695741,8.313332769828598,1.9063411764705882,714,27,133,14,17,229,114,174,0.3,0.648,0.051,-0.994,0,1,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,1,11,16,5,0,7,0,16,5,2,1,2,29,26,13,1,1,6,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,13,8,1,0,7,0,0,2,2,14,1,1,8,4,18,2,21,15,4,20,1,6,0,0,1,8,1,5,9,98,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215335954500138,0.0,0.14928540037982746,0.0,0.0,0.3576656085225808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404832443813412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614640188809948,0.0,0.12840523683987812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769865819543772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846812051649743,0.0,0.1256091189677185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538100121767667,0.0,0.2862867148413093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778898765253484,0.0,0.08472748095708922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284641485316301,0.0,0.13183387907903482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560424305363654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193228855997255,0.0,0.0,0.15785769983980286,0.0,0.0,0.10530195109075063,0.07283457499880598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977422350963793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505316446837172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304945717946635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133845755513164,0.15863515347769008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231688895627828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093191636324376,0.16806903235756168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33776465737913697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357198466595133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332325499174245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309721403192346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693167722179107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121778171256476,0.0,0.1456327316610267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833539258125868,0.0,0.0,0.13404380028371576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853442558396934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960047640438656
mentalhealth,Hippie_smiles,2018/02/16,"Help for lying I can't seem to stop lying. I don't know how to fix the issue but I desperately want to. I lie about small silly things. Whether or not I enjoy doing something like watching a particular movie or about what foods I like. It isn't premeditated it is always in the moment. My lies change based on who I am around. If I am around my dad who insists on going to university, I tell him my plan is to go for a Bachelors degree. If I am around my artsy friend going to film school, suddenly I am going to art college for animation. I noticed I seem to lie in a way that I think will not to offend people, so they accept my life. I have done this for as long as I can remeber. The big issue this has caused me is uncertainty in who I am, what I want and what the truth is. Any suggestions on how to fix this would be appreciated. This is rrally impacting my life. I cant make decisions to go forward and I feel increasingly empty all the time. I want to know what the truth is but can't seem to get past the lies.",2.317528862012093,3.6372244252336436,4.593243540406823,84.55233369983509,75.77570093457945,7.652116547553601,22.401319406267177,8.313332769828598,1.0943323804288076,793,21,175,14,17,277,112,214,0.107,0.731,0.162,0.8462,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,8,9,1,0,10,0,24,3,0,4,3,35,41,14,0,6,9,1,1,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,15,5,1,1,9,2,0,7,7,1,0,0,1,2,30,8,30,37,2,25,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,7,9,124,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645777463766445,0.0,0.0,0.09517747085654528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737817147833564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377727952595498,0.1480589219517451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322747958641632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076788572630173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923995892742666,0.0,0.10813260273661104,0.0,0.07312322458101064,0.0,0.3977119296236312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381211103794103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921633598139366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383650364004073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771550712169048,0.13675458795128267,0.0,0.0,0.12386002839168846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934242605992849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934517238737694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360747631220024,0.09703051031287968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416468007554649,0.0,0.3822424660342415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774790026903554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117012668920163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223310437282762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929830793321758,0.08968059551232771,0.0,0.0,0.08161169127831687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476557681546073,0.11109358332061796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942343403914436,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Terok42,2018/02/16,"Just had to forcebly remove my mother in law from my house because of a psychotic break. We've been letting her live with us for the last month and last night she began blurting out nonsense yelling at us and telling us we are in a conspiracy to make her look bad. I've dealt with similar episodes with my wife so I though I could handle it but I just couldn't. After 16 hours of nonstop nonsensical yelling, telling us we were different people, accusing us of conspiracy, and just over all erratic behavior we decided to call the county to get her some help.  They came and she ended up in cuffs not because she was arrested but because she wouldn't go to the hospital. Thankfully the county I am in has resources to help with this sort of thing. My wife and I are now sitting in an empty house in shock. I'm just here to get this out and feel supported for my really hard decision. ",5.508573667711601,6.084685499999999,6.1089759665621735,79.43816614420064,67.56321839080461,10.00543364681296,33.05956112852665,10.018931242160765,3.1918689655172408,703,30,138,16,11,229,104,174,0.132,0.795,0.073,-0.8397,1,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,8,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,12,0,0,1,1,34,23,10,0,3,7,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,16,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,6,5,26,2,30,13,2,25,0,0,1,0,24,11,0,2,9,98,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959424326640118,0.21813687481186492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121798736785121,0.13642512642989044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523578106840967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462274509557117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564712728137277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603118096929928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463828641495744,0.0,0.06778986249458753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685190762976783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990242268083904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746727484573725,0.2752673866193377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445907115953856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197240269100147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532687540344754,0.0,0.10016558660119684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962066646677385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520856485646363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119366780893649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269408662338172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641414887896625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535810889283628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20851284599400852,0.1098174675087486,0.0,0.0,0.07924467048570262,0.0,0.11719249518016818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7173988328598602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rainingren,2018/02/16,"Wanting to get better but can't find help The last couple years have been difficult for me. I've been struggling with a lot of mental health issues and have seen a number of counselors, therapists and psychiatrists. A few of them told me they weren't qualified to help me because of my case was too difficult and the others just kept upping my medication and never really listened to me. I'm so tired of the mental health system, even with pretty good insurance, the quality of care I've found just doesn't come close to what it should be. I don't know if its the area I live in (east coast, USA) or just my luck I guess. I'm stable for the most part but I just don't want to fall down that dark hole again. I've been pretty lonely and I'm trying to reach out to something. I suppose I'm just curious if anyone as any advice or dealt with a similar situation? Maybe I'm not looking in the right places? Are there any good online resources? I don't know where to look at this point. Please give me a helping hand reddit. <3",2.7575373931623943,4.621060533653846,3.893589743589746,87.72918803418806,75.875,6.92991452991453,21.651709401709404,7.793537801064563,0.8574735042735044,813,21,167,12,18,264,128,208,0.111,0.693,0.196,0.9629,0,2,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,11,9,0,1,12,0,15,5,1,0,1,36,36,13,0,5,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,11,0,1,4,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,9,5,16,5,26,25,4,20,0,1,3,0,8,13,0,8,4,103,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044454146806864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815550797216097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933390673832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137405190785821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806074790117882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610159525207174,0.0,0.0,0.11498951388078373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770375920861106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816865515099913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200712214189476,0.0,0.0,0.14636451161039374,0.0,0.0,0.06974283277770868,0.12805543641988054,0.0,0.2239295708468987,0.0,0.0,0.14705389972635774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837865123406313,0.0,0.0,0.2684258965656461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932851336925606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672484166215152,0.10881188174262882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178738069906528,0.0,0.22419537229998435,0.0,0.0,0.11348812717706737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341082961050068,0.0,0.0,0.13447677900434607,0.2690523411044101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295544780254637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455628296530573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394682728959019,0.14653155000383478,0.12619086734288246,0.0,0.0,0.27161392980545124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551688827578617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399943210879113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004796010231206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276685463026003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955236636025695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549917728857471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534267160708013,0.0,0.12755508157776532,0.0,0.09063071016440342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747130886536595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596295825935317
mentalhealth,elena1099,2018/02/16,"I can’t get out of bed I have so much I need to do, tax stuff, work, cleaning all of it. but I can’t move and I just want to lay here and cry.",-3.3233333333333337,-2.1020433333333344,0.04777777777777814,110.75000000000004,93.44444444444444,3.6,11.777777777777779,3.1291,-2.189088888888889,104,1,35,0,4,37,27,36,0.127,0.828,0.044,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,8,7,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,5,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,24,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.452695569109661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531621393693115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380194040502392,0.3029563558032731,0.3055825011004915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471779948333431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430796447331921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300028997875669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,megan_rhi,2018/02/16,"What's wrong with me? I feel so wrong most of the time, like what I'm feeling is constantly invalid. It's like I have to decide what I feel but only at certain times - and it feels like I'm in some sort of movie? Like whenever I talk to myself in my head, I refer to myself as we. And I just feel like I'm living for someone else to observe even when I'm entirely alone. I don't mind being sad when there's a reason because it's justified. When I feel this low, it feels like I'm seeking attention from myself. I don't know how to articulate it and I'm really sorry if this is unclear but if anyone has questions which could help me get some clarity, I'm more than happy to answer.",2.465610211706103,3.5160467191780853,4.5384184308841835,86.16455168119553,74.95890410958904,7.5008717310087185,24.231631382316323,8.00094639256281,1.227761643835616,535,16,116,8,11,185,85,146,0.092,0.657,0.251,0.9783,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,8,12,0,0,2,0,8,1,1,2,1,33,24,13,0,3,5,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,14,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,16,8,16,22,4,10,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,8,12,72,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002981538394314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128849642437626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830445382386619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654067718124934,0.0,0.11565779933798408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101076668494355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567773454749066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5127140002895059,0.3104610235605996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756826360759119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542046659877221,0.0,0.0,0.1486667082239652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709566146569132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961049438732905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246235489859396,0.0,0.12791279163824273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626588448626748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017148762945267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227477671652615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280012405503237,0.14893875986965252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227382158482779,0.0,0.0,0.16215733522583947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643184998642267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893642111511933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167602625401293,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwitallaway102806,2018/02/16,"How do therapists/psychologists etc. diagnose you with a mental disorder? Sorry if it’s an obvious question, but I wasn’t so sure.

Also, can a patient just “lie” to their therapist/psychiatrist to get a diagnosis?

Edit- psychiatrist not psychologist my bad",5.128409090909095,8.49903138636364,7.955636363636363,53.69845454545455,76.04545454545455,12.610909090909093,36.07272727272728,11.20814326018867,6.4504509090909075,207,12,28,10,5,75,40,44,0.07,0.742,0.188,0.7976,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,9,4,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158971347818284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25224135385457075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066257153153153,0.0,0.0,0.3462334213928868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369219877596496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783507698998087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044463157088895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384217728739604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381768502908496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847262082344809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35076204151624985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SignificantLoan,2018/02/16,worked up the confidence to try to get help just to get screwed Finally worked up the confidence to make doctor's appointment to get help after having anxiety and depression rule my life the past 23 years. I arrive at appointment after rehearsing the whole way there and shaking. Only to have the doctor walk in with her side kick nurse. Barely had it in me to tell the doctor my issues let alone a group of ppl. So fuckin upset I will never get help for this.....,4.4021990369181365,6.18429946067416,5.013515248796152,81.76370786516856,71.24719101123596,8.681219903691815,23.950240770465488,9.23628265651192,1.9490308186195828,368,10,68,8,7,118,62,89,0.146,0.7120000000000001,0.142,0.1335,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,2,2,7,0,5,6,0,1,1,6,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,0,6,0,17,7,1,15,0,1,0,2,6,6,2,0,6,44,8,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240581210663728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473028911596255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151690739593679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5407947189337543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292937808230368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680589131025555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541458663337669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18382211889188496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009325727367248,0.12439781456524387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756056988258247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358335642064131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394617343638626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681251845621364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393546732696695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957300610065275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979479079302426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663018889210135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25643295699438945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341463962634785
mentalhealth,KaptainCoco,2018/02/17,Born a crack baby linked to my adhd and having an addictive personality? I’m sorry for any grammar issues. But when my biological mother was pregnant wither she did crack and when I was born I was addicted to crack and it wasn’t a great time for me according to my adoptive parents. But basically what my question is. I have had ADHD my whole life. And I have a tendency to have no self control when it comes to alcohol or drugs or even something safe like video games. Is my adhd and addictive personality linked to me being born addicted to drugs?,3.3765094339622657,5.759401556603778,5.464754716981133,74.76279245283024,75.88679245283019,8.390943396226419,27.581132075471697,9.120678840339163,2.7015652830188683,439,18,78,11,10,152,61,106,0.033,0.873,0.094,0.8105,1,0,4,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,13,8,0,1,0,15,15,12,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,6,1,2,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,0,13,3,9,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,3,8,57,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904855345069203,0.4882243882423654,0.0,0.0,0.14471651707087116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920862482370355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664727790727335,0.0,0.0,0.15187845517104376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314074786659972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943975213924131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929455036186925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413371643282235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564700083574072,0.066156501219791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036136012314233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364767807683327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516948104657802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126646462093834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424840880830588,0.0,0.1515850259075697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896106499222627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511850341344283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thefakesutten,2018/02/17,"Whats the point of living. Honestly, I’m so tired of living. I’ll never be good enough. I feel like my life is going to be so dull and unfulfilled and its all because of who I am and how lame I am as an individual. 

I don’t want to go on anymore. I’m just tired of living already and I want it to stop. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being bored during my free time, all the time. I’m tired of having depression and having drug problems as a reason to cope. Life sucks. I’m tired of living it. 

Life is not a gift, its a curse in disguise. Its nothing but stress and anger and competition. I just wish my family didn’t care about me then I wouldn’t feel bad thinking about committing suicide. ",0.4224916107382555,2.4894138791946325,2.7720763422818813,91.77475880872484,84.70469798657719,5.604194630872483,18.708473154362405,6.9077264865688965,0.1323184563758386,544,14,122,7,16,186,82,149,0.29600000000000004,0.5710000000000001,0.132,-0.9747,0,1,1,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,14,2,1,6,0,13,10,0,2,4,26,29,14,1,5,4,0,2,1,0,1,10,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,4,0,1,2,5,9,0,0,1,2,11,6,18,23,3,10,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,6,74,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930061609634856,0.1164585616398173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466062278788377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811585260751953,0.06433208747408155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075981781149673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089563047479557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238506122207735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109044054334008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948735247641102,0.0,0.10672156058629104,0.07539297230628607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995395187408885,0.08851628007947993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362375873864596,0.051558213495107294,0.0,0.37275116007801457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139374553286857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126199615689448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976302919663972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098106421728664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085057538244588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823051944651752,0.12088797717808905,0.0,0.0,0.11543624280971294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762144303985064,0.0,0.0,0.12307456928971812,0.7277696529334091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449248598380964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135802512193244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MaximumZucchini,2018/02/17,"I feel lonely. I feel lonely even though I have a few good friends, a girlfriend of 3 years and a roommate who I'm also good friends with. 
I began to feel loneliness after I moved out of my parents(about 6 months ago). I don't live that far from my parents and could visit them every day if I wanted to.
I'm studying in university and i'm usually social there and everywhere I go. Still I feel lonely. Any advice?

",1.4598809523809528,3.7785537976190473,3.3619047619047606,87.58309523809523,82.45238095238095,5.6380952380952385,22.42857142857143,6.937597516519254,0.8139857142857143,325,11,64,4,9,109,56,84,0.128,0.722,0.149,0.4019,2,6,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,13,13,7,0,3,1,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,4,12,4,9,11,1,14,0,3,0,0,8,3,0,1,8,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351663288391628,0.1846166109629437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655147910674867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416290712208828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628468641558308,0.0,0.0,0.13431533586414598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755874811079724,0.0,0.1754743877091132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42122531046400136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218139745983748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836324436684985,0.34936986821374244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18390405634427096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623716604857294,0.22135543861565016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231256459997516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230253261195986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663227290842974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20462180382912892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22937727509325745,0.0,0.1228415930456832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411746954522238
mentalhealth,blonded_anon,2018/02/17,"[NEED HELP] I'm doing a project for college about mental health awareness If would be kind enough to answer these questions I would be hugely appreciated. I've answered them for the project but it would be great to get lots of different answers

Questions:

What is living with x like?

x= specific mental illness, please state

and

My message to x is.......

Thank you so much in advance -J",3.240598591549297,6.123932830985918,3.4937852112676078,85.8212411971831,79.8450704225352,5.240140845070423,28.59330985915493,6.6274283507984215,1.5429845070422537,305,14,53,3,8,94,57,71,0.044,0.715,0.241,0.9437,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,14,13,4,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,9,7,3,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,4,1,34,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097186264338808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074062646908504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487238989950004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130395039228576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336507699124,0.0,0.0,0.1345441252411761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090279104134315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980658371560436,0.0,0.17724699948828612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065224695148207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045743612050912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755859063005292,0.14883768674876555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203396855639611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497238610346539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18480389295485475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427775437945119,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xKl1ghLfdfsdfLxcsdew,2018/02/17,"I feel like I am going to have trouble opening up to professionals because I have absolutely no idea who I am anymore. I went to my GP on Thursday and I am currently being redirected to mental health professionals. I have had some practice with some college counsellor but a few hours after every session I feel like some things I have told her are a lie, despite during the meetings feeling like I am telling the truth. I have a hard time being in touch with myself and feel like I have no identity or personality, and just sort of clutch at the first instance of a scenario in my head and convince myself that is the answer, but when thinking about these things later it isn't how I feel at all. I'm such a mess and feel like their are different personalities living inside of me fighting for control. I don't know if this is a normal thing or not. Sorry for this mess, but if anyone is going through anything similar how can I be more truthful to myself and the professionals? I really want to get help but don't really know how to proceed with this being an issue.",8.285528846153845,6.8897734182692325,8.63353846153846,70.21146153846156,62.41346153846153,11.012307692307694,37.14615384615385,9.888512548439397,3.604202307692309,853,34,154,14,10,284,118,208,0.085,0.76,0.155,0.9322,2,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,7,12,1,0,12,0,24,2,1,4,3,44,40,18,0,4,10,0,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,10,10,0,1,11,0,0,3,6,4,0,1,3,8,24,8,24,33,6,19,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,8,14,124,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794401589112753,0.09020732882051798,0.0,0.10616486985207264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864376689956178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446965466172579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478879429439572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869713645190172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913903246472677,0.4608265931297085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973649358085524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740280169526094,0.0,0.14663958531841156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556830806790165,0.0,0.1324022678472277,0.13713241384997932,0.0,0.0,0.0864731985376122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704961950054172,0.0,0.0,0.14563745412627213,0.0,0.1346537240185789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180188863053342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31514072394282633,0.0,0.11391887196465925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300125107543851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640316131979246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529445334302955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652952033199009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441699280527495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276109784322283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25712706570939114,0.08266489107757546,0.0,0.0,0.0752272164523194,0.0,0.0,0.12327531771202906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609389367632567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959427468504613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FutureField,2018/02/17,"Going back to the well ​
Hi, just a rando in the U.S. here who is trying to get back on track with myself

So I have some pretty huge social anxiety and depression issues that developed after I was hit by a car while crossing the street about 9 years ago. For the last two or so years I have not been taking my meds because I naively thought I was better and could just quit.

I moved out of state and was short on money, so convinced myself I was stable enough to skip finding a new brain doctor. But 2.5 years later, little by little, it all came creeping back and I feel so stupid. My quality of life has plummeted, when my ACTUAL life events are good and happy. I'm with my depression and anxiety and I don't want to tell my loved ones or girlfriend. I'll feel like I failed their chance at happiness with my stupid fuck up sickness that I thought I had under control

I've decided to face the music. They'll have to know the symptoms are back eventually, I just have to stop running from it because it's starting to show in my work and normal conversations. Ultimately, I want to finally ask my lady to marry me, so I have to straighten myself out first. I even lapsed back to feeling sorry for ""folks who take meds"" for a couple of months there. What a fucking joke I am.

I've at least finally decided to put my tail between my legs and start going to a psychiatrist regularly again. I haven't stopped my phone therapy sessions, they're the only things that have kept me from lashing out at people around me.

The only thing is, it was only so easy to convince myself to stop taking meds because I hated going to the psychiatrist. Especially my most recent doctor (the one I saw before I moved), they left such a sour taste in my mouth for working with any mental health professional. That entire office made me feel like I was just a worthless nothing coming in for scripts, didn't even try to help me. My therapist kept encouraging me to find another doctor, but back then, that was easier said than done.

I did have a great physician before the crap one, but he left the practice which is why I was with the crap one in the first place
So here I am, set to start the process all over again this Wednesday in a new state and, I know I said I have anxiety, but even compared to that I'm anxious as hell. Like, I can usually hold my anxiety in during important events or the workday but I'm not so sure of myself when dealing with psychiatrists.

I don't know what to tell the doctor. I don't know how to start, and I'm terrified of starting out on the wrong foot and being caught in another bitter relationship with my psychiatrist office. 

What should I tell them? What do they want to know?
I'm also scared to tell them my last combination that worked too. This was Wellbutrin, Lithium and Adderall XR. My life wasn't perfect on those drugs, but man, was I more focused and less brooding. A lot less brooding.
I'm only scared because, after my first doctor left the practice, my new doctor always accused me of manpilating the prior doctor to get my combination and would always have such a mean and stiff attitude towards me and kept pushing me towards a different combination (she was a nurse practitioner, the previous doctor was a psyciatrist)
The nurse practitioner also got all huffy with me when I told her I only wanted generic drugs. She always wanted to push the expensive expiramental stuff on me.
I know what my best comination of meds was, but at this point? I just want to feel normal. I'm open to anything that I can afford (I still don't like the expiramental drugs)
If it's best I don't mention that past stuff or past medications, I'd like to know. I can't start off on the wrong foot with this one. I don't want to feel like a petty criminal just because medication is working for me. If I run out of psychiatrists in this town then I'm screwed if I want to move forward in my life.
Anyway, that's my rant. I know it's a lot, and kinda vague, but any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading. ",5.312442406620442,6.014778134347278,6.117040184895253,78.76125027957954,68.03675538656526,8.925877879668981,29.41228658763886,9.007467420416297,2.3078293744874383,3184,110,612,54,51,1048,324,789,0.131,0.764,0.105,-0.9528,2,0,3,0,0,0,80.0,0,0,6,14,44,40,10,2,42,0,55,35,8,3,5,115,121,51,0,17,23,0,6,6,1,4,22,2,0,1,34,36,1,9,21,3,2,17,12,18,1,9,32,12,95,22,98,81,14,114,1,4,1,4,32,45,6,12,57,424,129,16,0.0,0.0,0.04482950239737273,0.0,0.0,0.044890723842535035,0.0407218475563586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734742546415003,0.11467392781401994,0.0,0.0,0.06247972398283355,0.09634137443675217,0.1405717871363336,0.05189760637111892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03780360039631271,0.04089514419628067,0.04294644293281144,0.0,0.0,0.2119439491633791,0.0,0.14001889427615385,0.0,0.07818082694924383,0.0,0.0964195724401712,0.04062900885716483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051282733919424686,0.0,0.05254158528861095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03957208522729333,0.0,0.0,0.05152410994961965,0.03667827946712458,0.0508302500857127,0.0,0.0,0.0473607380977984,0.07913379573602246,0.0,0.0,0.047996118909259436,0.0,0.3761612953465282,0.0,0.047011195563308114,0.0,0.0,0.15982277231534198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746691274828595,0.0,0.09102614886158504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936779136605848,0.09845575699161233,0.0,0.10064710632658196,0.08397420030388844,0.1172261942581432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493909610522841,0.04800210435768379,0.0,0.07832399210844053,0.03853116585766151,0.03674134049410232,0.050647531403061975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978051089784959,0.0,0.04535491297306293,0.0,0.04883064408961068,0.0,0.0,0.030791713370551317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047948022559313234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20197347543308725,0.07489227343852692,0.0,0.0,0.14973745538925742,0.0,0.12979132772616284,0.13465984384257282,0.09208520545145484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811080661829486,0.04146143141151985,0.04346826790311888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004066473603668,0.20410996672031564,0.09255672765725416,0.046295361261483516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666779765223743,0.14647656643778428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331035232696138,0.0,0.0,0.09002026011094473,0.04407938026197845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564611406494122,0.1746920932142801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770729214491597,0.03184808047379049,0.0,0.047996118909259436,0.0,0.04342687945072802,0.0,0.0,0.04673612930621135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046181038520389545,0.0,0.04886141630754878,0.04595108854672007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04535888160171353,0.04932092544147408,0.0,0.0,0.08739636510506138,0.0,0.09198521922826364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04682867551169799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051424565339315005,0.19509370676618276,0.0,0.036686670736728884,0.11522032248018653,0.0,0.0,0.10517754283194597,0.0,0.0,0.04329664046068399,0.04774785411017341,0.10362045854312137,0.0,0.16060964381360254,0.042294143214559515,0.05253485775164714,0.05333832137531142,0.06103920475576222,0.0,0.0,0.07294032435173131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043896355319867186,0.0,0.06237866507643764,0.0,0.04487539263727119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059494040390232,0.0,0.2167664805239273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04130436955838187,0.0,0.04145249254561281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377555738164415,0.0,0.0,0.0652670076257233,0.100453419484275,0.0,0.08874896664463222
mentalhealth,wwhhxx0324,2018/02/17,"Rant i wish someone understands how much pain my mind has been going thru...I'm only 22 y do I hate myself so much. People r so fucking scary and I have to run away from this world constantly cuz I can't protect myself. I donno who I am anymore or who I wanna be. I hate myself I'm weak. People ignore me y...it makes my self hate worse. I'm still obsessed w a guy who friendzoned me a long time ago. We dont even talk anymore. How pathetic...I'm not doing anything...I'm not doing anything...I dont wanna get employed cuz I hate everyone. Summary of my past 9 months since graduation: lying in bed dreaming, doing nothing, contemplating bullshit, losing friends while self isolating, and stuck being a loser. Will this ever end? I hate how I am wasting my life. I hate everything. ",0.8989355742296894,3.4654487908496776,3.1390102707749783,85.53411764705884,90.5032679738562,5.2672268907563025,22.97198879551821,6.868970318607317,1.1435635854341737,607,24,111,9,21,206,101,153,0.329,0.605,0.066,-0.992,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,0,2,8,14,7,1,3,0,15,4,0,6,1,19,30,11,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,5,3,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,13,0,0,2,0,22,1,7,25,2,15,0,2,0,1,9,3,1,1,10,70,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086879840865468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257000626011827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069103295012879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296757611010214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667242574477866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007849937541688,0.0,0.0,0.075157839590718,0.10293041565056063,0.0,0.1087321151012702,0.10226795538338067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791459435729475,0.1051978861002564,0.05945106715682845,0.0,0.0646700108552558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126709161517588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6740699425079408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037390281398034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070139696592653,0.0,0.12730295002861916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595633292691924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489640652347255,0.0,0.090826838943248,0.0,0.16729886082544695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091854713976422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654313392647467,0.12108157803750935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862632347526054,0.1577766138713304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374175248383775,0.0,0.0,0.09412903757944384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641469023074532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087358793596703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146084348586413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635240946731387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846037672056373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085395986362774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596268452223532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,officialkodos,2018/02/17,"Trouble mourning? (x-posted from r/autism) I originally posted this in r/autism because I was diagnosed with a very mild form of ASD when I was twelve, so I thought maybe my problem has to do with the lack of cognitive empathy often shown in individuals with autism. The people on that sub have been very helpful so far, but I figured posting it here as well wouldn’t hurt.

I (16M) been to eleven funerals (two of them joint-funerals) in my life, though I only remember being upset at one of them, which was my grandmother’s when I was six years old. I try to go back and really think about/analyze what I was feeling to know what I’m missing, but the feeling of mourning is completely foreign to me. Since then I’ve lost my grandfather, a close childhood friend (and his little brother), two other friends, and many other people I’d consider close to me, but haven’t really grieved for any of them.

The first major death after the passing of my grandmother was a dog we’ve had longer than I’ve been alive, but I figured I was not upset because she had been sick for a long time, so I thought I was just prepared in a way. Next was my grandfather - with whom I was very close - when I was eleven, and I figured I just didn’t mourn yet because I was in shock. “Shock” wore off, funeral came, still didn’t feel anything.

In the event of my friend passing, I remember crying soon after I heard the news, but again, I try to go back and recognize what I was feeling but I can’t. They don’t feel like they’re “gone” per se, just that I can’t see them. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all of these people dearly, but I feel like something in me just doesn’t register death properly.

I also want to add that I don’t have access to a mental health professional at this time, and that I don’t feel like I’m repressing anything, just that the feelings of loss were never there to begin with.",6.821574770258984,5.5625367380952415,7.121857421331107,79.43708020050128,65.21693121693121,10.497577276524645,33.65135059871902,9.549672527348893,2.8257121693121703,1469,52,305,24,19,479,184,378,0.197,0.684,0.12,-0.9875,0,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,5,3,23,25,0,3,14,0,37,5,0,1,2,56,64,23,8,4,13,1,8,3,3,1,4,1,0,0,16,16,0,1,17,0,0,6,13,16,1,7,29,10,48,9,43,33,4,49,0,8,1,1,15,16,0,1,27,207,64,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901637455083098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719253289670804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626204151568372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195383791314795,0.0,0.18069652476178194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300953246592987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359785268973702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085354712189159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028759925020328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996805922159468,0.21176443392569486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840456648646562,0.0,0.0,0.22901544035155694,0.0,0.05162287491940685,0.0,0.1123092331584532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502782183417088,0.0,0.0,0.06622862848002431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577554261328677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430205403927866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697907057043316,0.14481715683865118,0.09903113845856636,0.0,0.08744158630606634,0.0,0.0,0.10786012989460524,0.0,0.08917768570259957,0.0,0.0,0.10017536310680893,0.09926548033328957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957478638612063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620648592124744,0.0,0.10508296701446028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368191892641627,0.0,0.0669545636432502,0.07514760611503564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550217496352546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838910048719171,0.0,0.0,0.09454549607229544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659731333335836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238594209917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787368371631211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173463935356212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606689133703229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890784956174376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331189839285431,0.09707793157613556,0.15688434042528213,0.11523097223794695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416770235261802,0.0,0.1930412686753221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445797688759539,0.058279262235174885,0.07842884649808342,0.0,0.0,0.08883986782950233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803056196500584,0.0,0.06362883274427522
mentalhealth,Manzanillon,2018/02/17,"Employment after mental health issues I'm 21 and had to postpone university due to a breakdown (I was sectioned and told that I have the option of returning a year later) but I'm worried that going back isn't the right option for me, and also worried that I won't be able to succeed in job interviews because of having been ill and unemployed over the past two years. 

Does anyone have any similar experience or advice?",6.469750000000001,7.192361475000002,7.465,70.04,65.5,9.9,33.5,9.888512548439397,3.51495,338,14,55,7,5,114,60,80,0.131,0.8170000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.6652,4,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,0,9,2,0,0,0,8,13,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,0,4,1,9,7,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,8,40,7,5,0.22323909450534266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814665947843406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852422322185915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181023945837147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609396544561954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165708394766982,0.0,0.13608447998009424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953580359833359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21837067064997676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687192195433794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372927183284947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300361532597874,0.22153035493918355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249725008659967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21310697573541346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064496694987326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331452150107846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807215742260133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534202735073901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875173153604494
mentalhealth,Cupcaker-04,2018/02/17,"I’ve had to stop drinking alcohol because something very strange happens when I do... anyone have any idea what could be wrong with me? Hi there! I was hoping someone could help me, this happened again recently and I honestly think something may be wrong with me.

I am a 24 year old female, I have not been diagnosed with anything. I always thought I was a bit off, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. The main thing that happens to me since I was 14 is that sometimes I suddenly have a moment where I don’t recognise my own life.. I find myself looking around telling myself “this is my boyfriend, this is my apartment, this is my family”.. it wasn’t disturbing or bad, just a bit weird and slightly jarring.

Besides that I didn’t have other problems regarding my mental health... until I went to university and started drinking. I had never drank before that. The first few years were normal, drunk and laughing and nothing too intense.

When I turned 21 and started dating my boyfriend, after 6 months with my boyfriend, my drinking would turn into large fights of me crying hysterically for nothing, him comforting me, me telling him to fuck off... I have no idea why this happened to suddenly.. we still stuck it out and I’ve no idea why or how he put up with me through those. Eventually I just realised I can’t drink a lot like I used to and now I have just a few drinks and stop. Except for a few occasions when I let loose a bit more, it happened twice and now starts the problem...

I start imagining things that didn’t happen or make sense. One occasion was my boyfriend and I were drinking in our apartment all night, but for some reason I remember we went out, I thought our bathroom was a club bathroom, I even remember the room being bigger and like a full club with other people. It was just me and him in the apartment, we didn’t go out. I even “lost” my phone and the next morning I was convinced it was at the club till he told me we didn’t even go to a club..

That was 10 months ago. I drank more than usual two days ago, and again it happened... I was with people from work, and they put me in a cab to go home.. I remember being in a large van, and that even more people got into the car and I thought it was an Uber because my work mates paid for me.. when they told me the next day it was a cab they flagged down, I was so confused.. who pays a cab in advance??? i even remembered being harassed by these people who came in the car, they asked me for money.. but when my boyfriend was waiting for me in the garden when I got home, he said there was no one else in the car and I remember they were in the car still when I arrived home... I even got out saying to those people to leave me alone when I got out of the car..

I’ve already decided I’m stopping drinking completely even casually... but does anyone have any idea what could be wrong with me? ",3.9563247753530177,5.0849312649122815,4.468091570389387,87.79034017971762,71.43859649122807,7.2451861360718866,28.463842533162175,7.499876790926021,1.5024176294394531,2231,83,462,24,41,707,237,570,0.136,0.828,0.035,-0.9949,0,1,10,0,1,0,80.0,6,0,5,5,32,21,3,2,30,0,54,15,0,4,2,92,97,38,0,9,13,0,0,2,1,2,4,2,5,0,32,40,11,4,17,14,3,14,13,13,0,5,44,3,85,8,56,40,15,87,0,1,1,1,31,29,1,8,46,336,117,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534313446088097,0.057473068523972735,0.0,0.055698507968367436,0.05934612589705863,0.0,0.044748181360541164,0.0,0.0,0.0731427118640625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520662623971833,0.0,0.04425528275335157,0.04787443922463036,0.05027581911027789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044902962983054746,0.06556598516587038,0.0,0.04576170743338917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761372152006347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061508498896407075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056385937263813635,0.0,0.0,0.12881373295457635,0.0,0.05907336988322065,0.06936561699761723,0.0,0.0,0.054584242171465784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706209735008205,0.0,0.0,0.3687785231103383,0.0,0.0,0.04492519793622927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486422403783993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069776633074513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915275184738283,0.04574412947097195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971753583711079,0.0,0.0,0.09169101304616484,0.0,0.17204693682692304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33289424922550753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716423670124227,0.0,0.0,0.036046724845996914,0.0,0.16183324417554948,0.053414377370921695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24283839732736645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694387170076672,0.0,0.05499235802553625,0.03798548185382965,0.052547106645045874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04516055827944472,0.0,0.058705797075912725,0.0457207223220222,0.0,0.0,0.035897695707978884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419627446372408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585128062038913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147744400764822,0.0,0.11438850191843285,0.05046766105996933,0.05269170162332862,0.15480632135318773,0.0,0.0564316925900519,0.0,0.07288366944092703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864168745494103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029178939852044,0.0,0.1081248820820042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055293454052243285,0.05309997221469475,0.0,0.30460388271160804,0.0,0.05115585299802413,0.04276697582618552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044486291242665385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045566512735842266,0.08280293174856768,0.053188503282991566,0.0,0.15225934506807826,0.0,0.08589546867030189,0.13488418819468745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400989754112607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145634905635757,0.034459215496713484,0.0,0.12808282720957034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277569311688063,0.0,0.0,0.11699155182118245,0.05253396948994877,0.0,0.0,0.04644752455524273,0.05922963342089675,0.044373054543062534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099706775871216,0.0970538128223483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830305917091061,0.0,0.0,0.03820284108736991,0.1763956780390912,0.0,0.06926343120321872
mentalhealth,eggfood,2018/02/17,"If a person truly has a mental illness, can they contain the symptoms on their own when not doing so would put their life in immediate danger? I’m not picking any mental illness in particular, but let’s just use panic disorder as an example. (I know nothing about panic disorder, so forgive me if i sound stupid.)  
let’s say someone claims to have panic disorder. And let’s say he starts having a panic attack when he is crossing a street. There are cars coming. If he continues to have the panic attack and sits down like he normally would do at home, he would get hit by a car. He understands this, so he somehow manages to stop the panic and safely finishes crossing the street. If a patient can exercise this kind of self-control with their mental illness, is their illness fake whether they realize it or not?",6.913672438672434,7.173079616883117,7.480735930735936,71.9061832611833,64.51948051948052,9.961327561327565,35.94227994227994,9.725611199111238,3.642925829725829,647,29,108,12,9,214,95,154,0.332,0.604,0.063,-0.9952,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,6,0,9,15,4,6,11,0,17,7,0,2,0,30,25,16,0,8,11,0,0,1,0,3,7,3,1,1,3,5,0,3,4,1,0,6,3,11,0,0,0,3,9,4,13,18,1,20,0,0,0,0,17,7,0,6,7,75,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655536217359905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193321992411653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303793105766913,0.0,0.0,0.10811801969064244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314397409906841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050363727478368994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669457605663463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003831868952686,0.052977558018989165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29571899738221746,0.0680884218111345,0.04709496085860285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914380928859556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444910610536147,0.09249602385710076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.678610344414427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417059947935544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690613650510332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331835993789475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005636407501859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816773090192527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823066343857104,0.0,0.0,0.08059264621847803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019393708920846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035322182528963,0.0,0.08325650984684169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543410519445626,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DizzyUpTheCentury,2018/02/17,"Is there any relation between mental health and love for TV shows/movies about psychology, serial killers,... I wonder about it sometime. My mental health is not best.. pretty bad to be honest. And I seem to love these kinds of shows, movies. I have a long list of relevent shows/movies I have watched and I really them a lot.

Just wondering does it have to something with poor mental health, or they are new cool thing these days and whole new generation love them.",3.447428940568475,6.194775034883728,3.0924806201550403,89.91052971576227,77.72093023255813,6.612919896640828,21.183462532299746,7.793537801064563,0.8811772609819126,367,10,71,6,9,109,57,86,0.06,0.72,0.22,0.9462,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,4,8,0,0,2,1,7,6,0,0,0,12,13,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,9,7,10,12,3,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,5,4,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957365094253401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222583043043294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536634325213062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443166049368044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813702786601455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669270476816368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524785381449161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958103553093306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244848359955436,0.39646136401781773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426842356514914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28283530336788804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489663119261037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938032556943245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329932509509604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127246996019762,0.14481753068985173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727790202514412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634776756013193,0.0,0.0,0.3175821521811415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Boopyprincess,2018/02/17,Guilty Nothing here,6.759999999999998,7.655925000000002,1.313333333333336,90.99000000000002,132.33333333333334,1.2000000000000002,36.333333333333336,3.1291,1.7699333333333338,17,1,2,0,1,4,3,3,0.583,0.417,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thereaderme,2018/02/17,"I really need answers 
[Long story]
It's been a long time that I wanted to share and find answers but haven't found any places to post it but I hope I will be able to get answers here. 
My older brother was a different brother,over protective in his own way.  He was really smart and always the smartest in everything he did. Few years ago,in 2014,he started to go to church all the time which we found really weird because he was never a fan of churches and everything. He then few months after that told me that  Jesus is punishing him,he was not normal anymore ,scared I had to tell my family  and we talked to him and he kept talking about some delusional thoughts and hallucinations,so we decided to bring him to a Doctor,doctor told us that he had schizophrenia. And he was treated with dozens of medicine,he also had to do x-rays which we don't even know why. And then he got worse, he started to hit himself and kept telling that he did something that he was not supposed to do,he didn't follow what Jesus told him...At some point after following all doctors recommendation and taking all his medicines he kind of stopped to hallucinate and hitting himself and started to be kind of okay and we told him that he should go back to studying if he feels okay and be with friends,and he did...But he,few months after that,told us to not tell him what he should do and he decided to not go to school and spent his time watching movies and listening to gospel songs, he didn't do anything that we asked him to do... And we ended up telling him what to do. 
And one day we asked someone to take him and bring him to the hospital,mental health hospital and he fought with our mom because he said that he was fine and not mentally sick at all. He was allowed to go home in one condition to go back to the hospital but once he got home he said that he was fine and told us to not put him at the mental health hospital anymore but we asked only one condition that he keeps taking his medicines.

And few months after that,he started to be mad for no reason(even when we just normally talk to him),stopped taking his medicines, and started to hit us and told everything he was sad about all his childhood trauma and everything. We had to defend ourselves. 

And since then, we didn't touch him,talk to him unless he talked to us. And now he just spends his life watching TV and not talking to anyone,living in his own bubble. 

And I as his sister,and especially he is my only older brother, am worried and want to know how to help him but not sure how.

PS: I'm not from the U.S ,Im from a developing country, Madagascar. 

Any suggestions,help or even any professional advice would be really appreciated .",6.636132865770503,6.1913075103578175,6.639923371647513,80.07033898305086,65.23352165725048,9.885343204104164,32.999610364309376,9.314750747691287,2.7011224235339952,2132,78,427,34,29,679,211,531,0.073,0.855,0.073,-0.2966,2,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,18,0,0,0,14,18,3,1,11,2,39,5,0,3,7,103,91,48,0,10,19,3,2,0,0,4,5,4,2,0,18,47,0,5,12,2,2,10,16,7,0,4,37,8,50,11,61,42,12,53,5,1,2,0,97,9,0,5,32,260,68,3,0.058990775888945524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764510346509419,0.05229176352580557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047174902165609434,0.04908505119213085,0.0,0.0,0.12034725145314933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700599677499385,0.0,0.0,0.04854438221674842,0.0,0.16544523686031135,0.0,0.0,0.0907205307506258,0.0,0.07192045889862995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03804417026324272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616328052573229,0.0,0.1811386763266153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224831804768078,0.0,0.0,0.1168885533581723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120684224871873,0.0,0.055611253463490884,0.0,0.02982750876394429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053916500454482666,0.0,0.0,0.1293606818720653,0.0,0.0,0.030820245647487757,0.0,0.16762908690325787,0.0,0.0943606247766478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540887247381216,0.0,0.0,0.07908054721234445,0.0,0.1183451160609639,0.0585911509234971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372016082802749,0.0,0.0,0.052433712072521566,0.0,0.12285963068633632,0.06483957537299252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166692957486568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440996066051454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118897654634986,0.0,0.0,0.06908928375625824,0.14125762352917764,0.0,0.0,0.04374091285224592,0.04549732303153275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559687088701345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282325107107473,0.1199210293068874,0.08973028657942335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616328052573229,0.0,0.055765350718880766,0.0,0.056496856745027635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930202313002005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116400631841884,0.060652342513686335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222747324427884,0.0,0.05906005768889368,0.059701814566830276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048797779409193526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499826929784002,0.04541398130786302,0.0,0.0,0.20876987399026425,0.0,0.0,0.09863786015049762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555981081481748,0.0,0.1774148879033808,0.28448730677195194,0.2062421530025436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04683208672221355,0.10319398743629214,0.0,0.0,0.3945775004923535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547932002587048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958857603520252,0.04682413210604301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322999981153692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990799639562841,0.06011664035381264,0.04190535466346189,0.0,0.0,0.037988125583921034
mentalhealth,paleRedSkin,2018/02/17,"The question is, not whether mental illnesses in general make a person more prone to such violence, but Which mental health conditions and backgrounds make a person more prone to such violence? How can we identify, detect, treat, and prevent such conditions?",12.619999999999996,12.189532904761903,10.58095238095238,56.60571428571429,53.28571428571429,15.06666666666667,47.19047619047619,13.816669648895859,7.155961904761906,210,11,27,7,2,64,30,42,0.171,0.6990000000000001,0.13,-0.6182,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,3,0,12,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165030235726193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.397511797113465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6001404277918903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5199819187549436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335573089031444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aSmallRedRadio,2018/02/17,"I become crazy when I'm ""half"" asleep? Maybe someone here will be able to tell me more about this or have some suggestion

When I'm laying down half asleep (though this doesn't just happen when I'm about to fall asleep, I can be laying down for two hours and not fall asleep the entire time and this happens) I have veey very weird thoughts. I can't even remember what it is exactly I am thinking but I know they are nonsensical. I also seem to think I am multiple people. Today I was laying down in one of these weird trances and I got up to go to the bathroom, during which I remember thinking to myself ""which one of you did that?"" and then I immediately became more alert because this freaked me out. I'm 22 if that matters at all

Edit: Location is SC, US",3.8719964349376106,4.9765235555555565,4.6423885918003585,86.5525668449198,71.61437908496733,7.6551396316102185,25.673796791443852,8.00094639256281,1.3166784313725493,596,18,125,8,11,192,97,153,0.062,0.907,0.031,-0.5356,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,1,0,10,3,0,0,2,0,15,4,4,0,2,22,29,13,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,3,0,5,4,0,18,0,18,22,4,17,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,4,7,90,29,1,0.18439341563917774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745934786714432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240451469583587,0.203648040518562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217901119739561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479502745567568,0.0,0.14747625914574095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261169769622361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159037117954446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133779893087047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852479701691373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24989950115242415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127835177107952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41776358914211215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786484026554502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562359426918246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116797273742686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35445556578537113,0.1811655946489848,0.14638777507310904,0.1075212835117729,0.0,0.1747833974697674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801255736682608,0.0,0.2218025752514876,0.0,0.0,0.15214387914302574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yamichan313,2018/02/17,"Mental health question How do you know when you've crossed the line from ""having a bad day"" to depression or some other form of mental illness? 

I'm pretty much at a loss of what to do. Nothing really brings me joy. Self affirming exercises do nothing. Physical exercise does nothing. All the things I used to love feel like chores now. I can't lift myself out of this rut I've been in for most of my adult life. I just don't know what my next step would be. All I know is that I'm tired of feeling like this.",1.7180000000000002,3.724793609523815,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,79.57142857142857,6.485714285714287,21.92857142857143,7.554174236665415,0.7591714285714288,399,12,87,6,10,130,74,105,0.131,0.713,0.156,0.4336,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,0,10,7,0,2,2,16,20,3,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,6,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,6,2,0,3,2,3,0,0,1,2,9,4,13,17,6,10,0,2,0,1,5,3,0,4,6,54,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618540785378228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291282733004282,0.0,0.15079709745611367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532146530769565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770525325401861,0.2501559499172982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610302531649892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886599863100802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366496080492655,0.1710715664652481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580175310707822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528811445972891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870475578727958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862007392812776,0.0,0.0,0.5039851208460251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812042453315846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613090454114493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216143778301907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264777418792752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631610518094182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122997241587728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121385917158928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437259224158388,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TallQueer9,2018/02/17,"How to write a decent suicide note? I want actual advice. 

I’m clinically depressed. I don’t care anymore. 

I want to know how to write a half decent suicide note that can provide my girlfriend/friends/family with enough closure to move on someday. 

Life is ultimately meaningless for me but I want to make my passing as easy as possible for them. ",3.2122417582417597,5.979625476923076,4.55142857142857,78.97,78.84615384615384,7.406593406593408,30.824175824175825,8.418075326091056,2.8928021978021987,276,14,47,6,7,91,46,65,0.147,0.7040000000000001,0.149,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,3,0,11,10,5,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,1,11,10,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.2287916145137057,0.0,0.0,0.22910406396178096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23251367208736376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390397346872804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019334134980656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422518882185497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22102075292846574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884884691467285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560058573216846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649872386908045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24918568005109645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26430972943573205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5129055033821592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41485810459076383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tsukuyomi_Shi,2018/02/17,"Problem with my memories I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts or ideas on what I am going through. I am hoping that someone may have some information on what I am going through. I've been doing research, but nothing quite matches what happens to me.

So, I'd like to first state that I am 17 years old, this will likely be important information. I have been having problems recognizing my memories as my own. I CAN remember them, but most of my childhood memories feel like they are not mine, or I don't feel like it really happened.

I also have moments where I get an odd feeling about someone existing, sometimes people just don't feel real and thinking about my memories of someone can put me in a weird state where I feel as if they are not real. It is almost as if time itself has just begun, but I have pre-loaded memories of people and my past life.

This is NOT a super intrusive occurrence. Beyond making me uncomfortable, it is not a burden on my life. (Not visibly at least.) I was just wondering, because It's been going on for as long as I can remember. 

To help better understand, I'll provide some examples: I have difficulty remembering the 3 years I spent with my ex. Everything feels blurry, and it feels like they are not my memories, or I just made them up. The same thing happens when I think of my time in Middle school, or elementary school. 

I would really appreciate if anyone could help me figure out if there is something going on with me or not, thank you! ",5.874556716995741,6.477570348432058,6.950981416957028,73.62630178087498,66.77003484320558,10.280216802168024,32.66918312040264,10.25414643259724,3.4210504839334117,1178,48,213,28,18,397,148,287,0.085,0.7859999999999999,0.129,0.938,0,0,1,1,0,0,34.0,0,1,5,4,14,13,0,0,6,0,35,2,0,2,0,66,61,24,0,10,24,1,7,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,20,0,1,5,9,4,0,1,9,7,41,9,31,47,6,33,0,0,0,0,11,14,0,18,17,168,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764712918507296,0.0,0.0,0.0779826645061569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631350501701534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636943064755974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059444204014792286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624404241690355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785774694289392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764014276655058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451453954433763,0.20899408380905046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294616050906192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094753281920942,0.0,0.2216799568475596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258696425544222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307244212308986,0.0,0.0,0.09685434109554032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008250083358244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775537588320258,0.23820437684974485,0.0,0.0,0.08629765573976746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227099666658012,0.06509198151839292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356821758536424,0.0,0.10232552866358063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308904692470672,0.13520916608794747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866172611103796,0.0,0.09802945129700766,0.0,0.10371914499300146,0.0,0.22198670723214106,0.12494113870923332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33139626228690383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973806563256821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478722836964557,0.07507176709741485,0.09644477185531293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977865776166517,0.0,0.0,0.06478459494984304,0.12496727569908304,0.0,0.07741597203870841,0.1137234946532433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151649447815893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115015914615083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692718175071185,0.0,0.0,0.1255928519884997
mentalhealth,anon941941941,2018/02/17,"Hurting people emotionally makes me feel good? Pretty sure I'm not okay like that, but what exactly does it say about me besides that I'm a sadistic b**ch?",5.695,6.726089833333332,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,67.33333333333334,8.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.577666666666667,125,5,23,2,2,40,26,30,0.149,0.66,0.191,0.32299999999999995,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31220174022864644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4013052590599809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038780123455664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992320773662046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38191731953987335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429416730547592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381390482209327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473314022083621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629516197878663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28370865365243425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362406348120408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fortysecondave,2018/02/18,"New job, therapist is not in network. Any hope? My new job has great insurance but my therapist is not in network. Is there anything I can do to keep with the same person?",1.2444117647058803,3.7189331470588263,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,85.17647058823529,6.929411764705884,26.14705882352941,8.07648339933343,1.945611764705883,133,6,27,3,4,44,25,34,0.0,0.8640000000000001,0.136,0.594,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,8,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,19,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047906389561434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419696556761284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26017619509395623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343880630235221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683608182418018,0.20975584224072213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4558348949894966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20605450399643813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5479975479037141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quixoticself,2018/02/18,"Does my Dad need help? Dad has always been a loner. When him and my Mum were together he'd never go to family parties. When his family come to visit (once in a blue moon) it's really awkward as he doesn't seem like he wants to make conversation. I've always accepted that this is just how he is.

I have always worried that he doesn't do anything other than go to work and watch TV. He doesn't speak to his family and has no friends. Sometimes I think the only thing that makes him happy is our dog!

Recently, I've been hearing him shout to himself. He does this either in his room or in the shower, when he thinks we can't hear him. It's like he's having an argument with somebody. I can't always make out what he's saying but it's quite scary. 

Is this a sign of mental illness? I've also noticed he's been in strange moods and makes weird inappropriate jokes.. It's hard to explain but I'm worried. We don't have the type of relationship where I can talk to him properly and he's very dismissive when I try to talk to him seriously. I wonder if anybody familiar with mental health can tell me if it sounds like he needs help?
",2.055531135531133,3.9074631367521375,3.883919413919415,87.06346153846155,77.8888888888889,7.021245421245422,22.253968253968253,7.957251820313856,1.0424019536019529,890,26,188,15,21,300,126,234,0.145,0.7979999999999999,0.057,-0.9472,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,0,2,8,11,0,1,7,0,23,2,0,5,1,34,41,17,0,5,7,3,1,3,1,0,2,6,2,0,14,11,0,0,6,2,0,4,8,3,0,0,4,9,23,7,21,36,1,17,0,0,2,0,43,7,0,5,9,108,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294151915990477,0.38681917853888576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956395969633354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011369928950577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341074523900676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286871286646528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089791696376619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321016157064475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371891970071212,0.10411077054725852,0.0,0.0,0.12353699307026735,0.2619779772467037,0.0,0.1558003484164071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033844735997047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103124360143013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342459260971429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235210687484515,0.08963644069498942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231784841930078,0.0,0.12377107582782353,0.0,0.08839095330890641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361484392284268,0.0,0.0,0.0744538501649153,0.0,0.11475375651041587,0.12477735934224365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242323349628416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580280934017837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494508001269314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682732596719884,0.10158186946299463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721175867646997,0.14893885099079204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890611376268912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589411226186786,0.0685498822041141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603621163533174,0.08460993303149716,0.2360551877898685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sometimescdnec,2018/02/18,"Autism Healthcare I recently was hired at a precision teaching ABA clinic. I expressed concern to my supervisor that I was not running the PT programs adequately with my newly assigned client. I was told that ""you'll learn on the go, and pick it up in a few weeks."" When I questioned if that wasted the client's valuable time, he told me that the children were already receiving the best care in the area by attending his clinic.",5.489666666666667,7.263509300000003,5.6875,78.03416666666669,68.5,8.333333333333334,34.583333333333336,8.841846274778883,3.150083333333334,344,17,59,6,6,109,60,80,0.057,0.8140000000000001,0.129,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,8,0,5,2,0,1,1,8,9,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,0,10,3,8,2,2,14,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,4,41,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397936297057549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231394792958743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139414996768323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499610217970588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449370668711191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30403049943652904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954864818254576,0.0,0.0,0.5884550218203966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24699212674749746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LoveLettersToGoodbye,2018/02/18,"The Upsides of Trauma. Pain comes in various types. Sorrow and sadness. To hurt is embodied in different ways by different bodies by different yous and Is. I'm diving into the kind of sorrow, sadness, pain, hurt where you are sitting on the rim of your shower heaving and shedding cups bowls buckets bathtubs of tears. The kind of sadness where you try to get a hold of yourself for the sake of your pride ego dignity but you are the dropping china glass crystal. 



You are instantaneously broken and you know when and if you try to pick up the pieces they will cut you bleed you dry only to never be whole once more. 



When your heart feels heavy. You can feel the weight in your heart. The kind of dull ache that transforms from knowing exactly why you feel this way to a normalized familiar pain you can count on to keep you company as the laughter fades and your smile deteriorates and you're walking home and wondering why and how you feel the way you feel how is it that you feel this way and there is no one here to hug me just hug me just hug me and hold me and tell me you'll be there for me here for me always. 



The upsides of pain sorrow sadness hurt hurting is the delusional sense of pride ego dignity composure where you convince yourself that you can survive anything never really hurt again because you've been hurt so badly before there is no possible way that you will shed those tears ever again you will not be on the bathroom floor once more you will not be the girl crying in the subway on a Friday night you will NOT feel that way ever again. Because you're supposed to be numb. I am numb. I am numb, I keep telling myself I am numb. Nothing can hurt me because I cannot feel. 

​​

You start to relive the pain sorrow sadness hurt hurting delusional sense of ego pride dignity composure my heavy chest is still heaving tears still flow from my eyes I cannot breathe I cannot. Left asphyxiated by pain sorrow

 

sadness hurt hurting delusional sense of ego pride dignity composure tears heaving but still breathing. Feeling of blinded restraint and end of breath but you are still breathing. ",5.003217535153019,6.610338027295287,4.991928039702234,83.19917411083544,69.47146401985111,7.854722911497108,29.810504549214226,8.344100000000001,2.1558176013234074,1687,66,313,25,30,524,167,403,0.292,0.615,0.093,-0.9987,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,29,1,5,24,47,1,0,20,0,33,25,9,3,5,49,51,23,0,2,9,0,10,0,0,6,12,0,2,1,9,15,1,4,12,0,0,3,10,36,0,1,1,12,48,11,42,39,5,43,0,23,2,3,33,15,0,2,17,205,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477713391428328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724514062903472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04793657771024181,0.104993370178213,0.0,0.04885333837238853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377173060498682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945530880518927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306432800618318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799497955546856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050849944341068466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386478605338116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612628493008421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029995372756738456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606686742678814,0.0,0.0,0.057588864001761164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6760674444427264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206075296242699,0.0,0.17935712427517297,0.06310420932222786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237824848370172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855926583932389,0.0,0.0,0.053877223139335545,0.056251518424402486,0.055088311628672164,0.0,0.0,0.12228369982642615,0.03890382117190179,0.04366437283309195,0.3665421571957828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647233440251862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0367795634141266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040636471638413024,0.0,0.1833970203892969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036114455771453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795788689151434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734255876989113,0.0,0.06991228467057689,0.0,0.0,0.10361070475882568,0.06409838861207598,0.0,0.0,0.06226080757476213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frytkizchleba,2018/02/18,"I feel like there's nothing in my life that makes ma happy anymore I'm 23 years old, studying something i have never wanted to because my parents told me to and ive failed to finish my graduation work and i've never been so scared in my whole life. I have 3 best friends that i truly love and keep contact with although i feel lonely and abandonned because they have no idea of what im going through. Theres only one person in my life that truly understands what i feel but she denied me. I'm having suicidal thoughts as i feel theres no one in this world that will convince me theres hope. I just want to wake up one day and feel free and whole, but i just have no idea if there's a chance that will happen. ",3.816845637583892,4.430627630872484,4.5552281879194645,88.94237248322149,71.34899328859059,6.765369127516779,26.309395973154363,6.2581,0.830172617449664,563,17,121,3,10,181,85,149,0.146,0.6679999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.5314,1,2,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,8,12,0,1,1,0,9,5,1,1,2,29,27,12,1,4,5,2,5,1,1,2,3,0,0,1,8,7,0,2,9,0,1,1,5,4,0,3,3,5,20,9,13,22,3,13,0,3,0,1,9,6,0,2,7,79,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805741165320154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972040193032814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609071755185268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977795702449824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35193996628499297,0.09945057019718337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755213094429752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911539064158223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310160440643032,0.14819002189386024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826543707559513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31429887230590386,0.15036905315135568,0.0,0.0,0.1237348985799781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949812115888874,0.06801023455615925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256410936564635,0.0,0.09292274536129763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21473233263290006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335742967686192,0.0,0.14607588864504462,0.0,0.2829938185259731,0.10587432656018113,0.0,0.0,0.15457454946391352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215514804335549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393719795797681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716949361642282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227148920734715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051598812700958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301967399968895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449209433530614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421754359354845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31084260634350075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134543575636673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964570083973253
mentalhealth,sepseven,2018/02/18,who do I ask for help when everything seems totally hopeless and it feels like I've tried everything? I feel like I'm out of options and there's nothing left for me. is there a person or place I can go to that can find something that might really work for me? because it feels like I've tried everything and I can't keep pushing myself through the pain just for the chance that something might pay off. I'm desperate for something but I don't know what. please try to understand that my situation feels more dire than ever to me and I'm so sick of struggling.,2.9349557522123884,4.94415439823009,3.6453185840707967,89.05399557522125,75.81415929203541,7.351858407079646,26.344247787610627,8.238735603445708,1.6442715044247789,449,17,93,8,10,142,70,113,0.205,0.723,0.07200000000000001,-0.9568,0,0,3,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,0,2,22,21,8,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,8,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,0,4,10,3,14,19,2,8,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,5,5,57,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444572533406982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766705932262216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008707614134715,0.0,0.0,0.38774950673305497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908646602425445,0.3082200703504384,0.0,0.0,0.13144246063483775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173223213971921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639481073809013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127827586674495,0.0,0.0,0.0790358541606309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625322630314165,0.0,0.0,0.21077927696027335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051256957610019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799243538910744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302715297442945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557194921439574,0.15025395770427358,0.15786346858293088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213027914658163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092193805172134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616518178844372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321427800401916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034455447997067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929187250045316,0.0,0.0,0.14971438664443695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469756408163147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Titangrille,2018/02/18,"Is suggesting a complete change in life to depressed people a good idea? I know many people have depression. Usually I can only suggest how to make life easier. But not how to get rid of depression. Would this a good suggestion or complete crap? I mean a change of lifestyle like  
becoming a monk in china or helping people in Africa, becoming a fisherman for a year or something in that direction.",5.1708675799086725,7.380962273972607,6.1276027397260275,72.80090182648405,70.0958904109589,10.346118721461188,34.08447488584475,10.504223727775694,4.368170776255708,318,16,51,10,6,105,48,73,0.16399999999999998,0.667,0.16899999999999998,-0.3313,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,7,0,4,3,1,3,0,12,8,6,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,10,7,0,6,1,3,0,0,4,4,1,3,3,33,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35801507457799026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429238750196957,0.0,0.3398811202142372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188046106847101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468148760203803,0.0,0.0,0.2718944502561449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864057436333886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297156729099887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907637792492804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22896751833622006,0.0791853888451585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819141813013533,0.1643263530402457,0.0,0.17655550676974113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327114841023552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371030751102844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477913184298273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851112470460204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513885424473283,0.0,0.0,0.10437590350360136
mentalhealth,schweebin,2018/02/18,"What does this mean? Okay. This is really hard to talk about. So often (about once a month, sometimes twice but rarely) I will wake up in the middle of the night. When I try to go back to sleep, something really really terrifying happens. It's like sleep paralysis with a sinister twist. I will lose all ability to move any limbs except move my eyes. Then I will shut them because I know what is about to happen. A very loud ringing goes off in my head and stays there throughout the occurrence. Then, I will hear footsteps sprinting towards wherever I am laying. (Last night it was on the couch, usually in my room though.) I am always too terrified to open my eyes, but when ever the footsteps arrive, the voice screams at me. VERY LOUD. The person who the voice belongs to can vary, but it usually is someone who has somewhat recently been in my mind (someone I watched videos on, heard about, talked about) and last night the character was Shaye Saint John. I listened in absolute horror as she sprinted towards me and screamed my name in my face, and I couldn't move a muscle. Im a 15 year old male. I want this to stop, it is a very traumatizing experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.",3.7948260869565225,5.938294700000004,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,73.73913043478261,7.730434782608696,27.15217391304348,8.548686976883017,1.990452173913044,951,36,183,18,20,300,141,230,0.158,0.758,0.084,-0.9717,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,1,1,14,7,0,0,15,1,18,7,7,0,2,22,28,14,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,5,0,10,2,2,11,6,0,1,2,1,0,4,1,3,0,1,4,14,24,4,30,17,2,40,1,1,3,0,14,17,0,2,19,119,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551268752463808,0.0,0.0,0.15611934989467818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826477201518107,0.0,0.0699736085689841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045162198292576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383218299018897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122845443745174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652365810305931,0.0,0.0,0.12655401100345476,0.0,0.0,0.20301303515615185,0.0,0.10282736789618578,0.0,0.1178054514583447,0.0,0.12937425064401634,0.0,0.07693987692510494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399057681257496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308440096751591,0.18713483824880114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607954585767555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841824371366434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503762098939564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590300720791236,0.0,0.09162256755663244,0.3660039588739942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231618667638677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045054026693698,0.12224531508271935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022832395046584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206081100529374,0.0,0.11333915478811694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297414988976307,0.0,0.19451874736360505,0.08836929575420444,0.11352811979195315,0.0,0.0,0.12234857619437868,0.0,0.09596778332548424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452425315178547,0.0,0.1056812309994138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277848083271805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793341598073474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25284520162052715,0.28413599598189354,0.06770484859146257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154199595134654,0.0,0.0,0.0739196125993945
mentalhealth,Bahoochie,2018/02/18,"What’s wrong with me I’ve always had a little bit of anxiety and depression, I probably didn’t acknowledge it until a couple of years ago. I always feel a little down and sad on Sunday nights - kind of dreading the week to come. But right now I’m sitting in my car and I’m literally sobbing and I don’t know exactly why, I’m just so upset and I feel so strange. I have recently started a new medication which could definitely be contributing to these feelings but I don’t know. 

My boyfriend is long distance and he just fell asleep, which made me even more upset cause I just want to talk to him. I don’t know what to do right now. ",2.102051282051285,4.082874000000004,3.884230769230772,86.50993589743591,78.23076923076924,7.410256410256411,24.679487179487186,8.344100000000001,1.5794871794871796,500,18,105,10,12,168,81,130,0.166,0.807,0.027000000000000003,-0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,3,5,0,10,2,1,2,1,25,23,11,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,7,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,3,3,13,1,13,18,2,23,0,3,0,0,3,7,1,0,12,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110308153994684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28367383284049424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040193095659766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860988812753349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751100434702791,0.0,0.14683675667048052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609895880572556,0.18861146741359067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681750837946195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258765191226958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258570079779442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750853616175916,0.2810421465255953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34169270656731915,0.0,0.15085231148766584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129398893984176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717211718710552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463195832840824,0.0,0.1599657730448079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837854118474148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830932770765955,0.0,0.0,0.2911449280581556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065292568328753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700981382733576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054210806742923,0.0,0.13673325169350295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538142234947719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637196181105933,0.0,0.10977107006200423
mentalhealth,Jaggybabs,2018/02/18,"Does medication help bipolar disorder? I didnt know who else to ask but reddit so here it goes. My whole life iv struggled with mental health issues iv never understood. Im always anxious in social situations and my anxiety has always gotten worse because im anxious about becoming anxious so iv gradually gotten more and more depressed about it.

Iv been on anti anxiety medication that hasnt helped, iv been on anti depressants that made me feel even worse and iv never known whats been wrong with me. Iv recently seen bipolar symptoms online and iv ticked pretty much every box from it but im a little scared to go to my doctor again and get put on another type of medication.

Can anyone on bipolar medication tell me if its helped you at all? Have you had any anxiety issues that have gone because of taking them? Iv tried so many things that havnt helped and i feel like im always going to be like this, i just want to know what's wrong with me.",4.23447463768116,6.169397701086961,5.4190000000000005,78.05933333333333,71.98913043478261,8.167536231884059,26.39710144927536,8.841846274778883,2.1691931884057967,763,26,136,15,15,253,107,184,0.26,0.6759999999999999,0.064,-0.9919,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,0,9,8,0,2,1,0,11,20,0,1,3,24,27,12,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,20,0,0,0,13,9,0,0,6,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,11,3,13,2,19,15,5,15,0,2,1,0,11,7,0,1,6,80,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22977937406924984,0.0,0.0,0.06259727970632817,0.09652264092214018,0.21125440984524424,0.3119715109171505,0.0,0.06436362692220599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605449349922495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122258720807838,0.10166219304706042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585653722565177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054974824332556,0.0942172608907926,0.08055373382558388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689611471619576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060798276493069875,0.0,0.07755624769714965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308667475965277,0.06576066779462245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048092420411394006,0.0,0.10462847847141296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784503808491046,0.0,0.0,0.2467971843183001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977199660604173,0.192152947432054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117674446207428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501776518220992,0.08994213773564884,0.09225846394653037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710010706925468,0.0,0.09332443582264673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709234932891472,0.09276493214940633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766747456307486,0.0,0.14198954880840334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936481268507472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253585647029418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088844885322482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215828959906366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346826034601378,0.0,0.09383356751345558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623083555830944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567538358308626,0.06921028042637635,0.0,0.08045591558707996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611540501394994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249603065740124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429358177078668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277073993462377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761399728504746,0.0,0.2012848455810065,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,michael-with-a-b,2018/02/18,"I don’t like my therapist. Long post sorry. I want to change my therapist. I’m in the US. 

TL:DR- I want a new therapist but I don’t want to make her feel like a bad therapist... it’s just her style of therapy doesn’t work with me. 

So I have been in therapy for almost three years and I’m on my third therapist. My first therapist... my god was AMAZING. I loved her, she was so helpful. She specialized in cognitive behavioral therapy, and it worked out so well. Every session was so structured and I really felt she was trying to help me understand what was going on and how to fix things. 
She went to work somewhere else, for victims of sexual assault. 

My second therapist was a bit shit, she moved to Alaska. 

My current therapist is sooo annoying, but she is a very sweet woman! (She is a child’s play therapist?) I knew her previously as she was one of the leaders in my IOP group I went to and I didn’t even like her then.  And BAM now she is my therapist. I’ve been seeing her for maybe six months and I hate it!! Every time I try to talk to her about thing she just sits there and stares at me and when I’m done she goes “...ah.. I see..”. There is no level of structure in my sessions and it is driving me crazy. It’s almost like I just sit and ramble for 30 mins. I have problems that I need help with and she isn’t helping me in anyway.  She is never willing to work with my schedule either which is a bit of a hassle at times. 

My last appointment was 1/04/18 and I have been trying so hard to get an appointment scheduled with her for the past month and she finally replies telling me she is booked and cant see me. THEN I get a letter in the mail saying if I don’t get an appointment by the end of the month, my case will be closed. SHE IS THE ONE WHO WROTE THE LETTER. SHE IS THE ONE NOT ANSWERING ANY OF MY CALLS TO GET AN APPOINTMENT. WTF.  


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mentalhealth,throw_awaytovent18,2018/02/18,"I'm trying to understand a different perspective... So a friend in my usual friend group deals with a lot of things.  She  is in/out of medicines and seems to have manic episodes she says etc.  Very dramatic stuff.  I guess my thoughts concerning mental health in general is...solution based?  I'm always like, ""ok, you feel this way.  And it is ok and there is no shame in feeling the way that you feel.  But what can we do about this?  What are our options?  Let's try to catch ourselves when we are going down a bad path and move toward something better.  Yeah that is tough. A lot of the time those bad thoughts or just completely irrational things happen out of nowhere and seemingly automatic.  It feels like we have no control over it.""

And like....maybe that is where my issue is?  Is this the right sub for this?  Like, a part of me always thinks there is always something that we can do to help our situation no matter how we feel.  We can learn to recognize the things that give us difficulties and move forward from there.  Some days may be hard.  A lot of them will.  They will be difficult.  And that is ok.

But said friend said very directly that her brain is broke and she just worries about shit and she tries to deal better with things.  When she thinks about solution it gets her stuck in a cycle she cant get out of.  

To me I'm like...ok so we recognize that his happens.  What can we do to help this then?  Idk, should it be accepted that some people really are just ""broke"" as she put it and just leave it as such.  Are there really no lifestyle changes, medication changes, etc. or ANYTHING that can improve stuff? Just an attitude of hopelessness and resignation to one's issues...is it insensitive that that isn't something that I can accept?  Like I get that feeling but I can't accept that it can be the end for someone in life.  

I think what frustrated me about the situation is that we were talking about worries and I said I know how it feels to worry.  Cause I do. I deal with over-thinking and stuff a lot.  She shut me down and said I don't in the way she does.  Which I suppose is true. I am not her. Idk. I'm a bit frazzled over it.  Eh. Thoughts? Give 'em to me lol.",1.5914391252955085,3.9824044027777816,2.608106776989757,92.734804964539,82.51851851851849,6.2691883372734445,21.69148936170213,7.53845456269673,0.7819559101654852,1690,54,364,28,47,535,186,432,0.115,0.778,0.108,-0.4574,1,0,3,0,0,1,68.0,12,2,2,3,22,27,2,1,18,5,44,5,2,4,1,78,79,29,0,1,11,0,8,4,3,4,3,5,0,0,45,29,0,1,21,0,0,6,9,11,0,1,9,13,49,16,45,61,10,32,0,4,0,0,46,17,1,13,12,254,94,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686697667949225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583062657497813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183191668770574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532805144174208,0.07735350176649708,0.0,0.0,0.07909576550737607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278590265606764,0.14990688815469788,0.0,0.07428838407784054,0.0,0.07946805107844954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04569454590428891,0.2191400622707912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740266650462833,0.0,0.0,0.06200423958715191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275503318726182,0.0,0.15804041758064605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250779060575028,0.05061764374792866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422335551244166,0.0,0.1110538450261276,0.1359379692940712,0.040267588718030684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805294747514355,0.0,0.12531075778225378,0.0,0.06347068000788507,0.0,0.0,0.07531379236829333,0.0,0.0,0.0949830071132364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395248379020823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03893914537752979,0.0,0.0,0.07502346182512888,0.0,0.07245234561293602,0.05004581287948396,0.20769219224089888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409479203499515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118170828072846,0.0,0.0,0.0713772908286319,0.0714035067664474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061178510870035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048012060197718136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672726790985357,0.0,0.0491207880799198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122718144151567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078093408265142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060508369401568486,0.26959102497960225,0.056345423703053836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900444824807933,0.0,0.0,0.07272994034159228,0.0,0.1592842565945092,0.0,0.0,0.06003380919909738,0.16363909943702795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24333038516087746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056949234747092015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882872560462215,0.18159984989617514,0.0,0.16874892434618902,0.041315155193962914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431431073764048,0.0,0.0,0.07376083080986467,0.08522784996267707,0.0,0.07803494931324087,0.11692285979672823,0.0,0.16872026167031198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586503312274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ScullyHanzee,2018/02/18,"Getting back to work after a burnout Last December and after a long three months of messed up sleep, anxiety over work and feeling like I'm gradually losing myself I decided to address my complains to my GP. She quickly suggested that I had to take medical leave and stay off work which I did for a month during which I found a therapist, tried to rest and be patient with the feelings of guilt (over leaving my work duties on my colleagues) and depression (for not being able to prevent all this from happening in the first place. A few weeks later, things started to get better, I was able to get some proper sleep, enjoy simple things like a day out with dog and reading a good book. This, is when I stupidly decided I should return to work and try to re-integrate by doing a few hours per week.

During the month of my leave, my director asked me to have bi-weekly meetings and discuss my progress and I agreed to, mainly out of guilt. He even proposed to me a new position within the company, so that the triggers of my anxiety are as limited as possible. Having this pressure (even if he meant well) pushed me into stepping back too soon.

And this is when things got worse. It's been 4 weeks since I returned and even though I am supposed to feel better, I feel worse than I did before. Insomnia is getting back at me but this time, I had a few panic attacks and I'm feeling completely depressed. I know I have to leave my work at some point, but right now, I cannot seem to get the courage to apply for a different job and I'm not even sure I could make a new start anyway. I cannot stay off work as I have very minimal savings, barely to cover the bills for this month. I had to stop my therapy because my insurance won't cover it and I cannot afford it. I am completely horrified to explain my state to my supervisor even though I am legally entitled to up to 100weeks partially paid medical leave. On top of this, I had a few blood tests last week that came up with a thyroid problem I've never had before. I feel like this job makes me sick and that I'm harming myself every time I step in this environment and at the same time I'm so so angry at myself for not being able to cope. I've been through massive depressive episodes before and all the self work I put into it has collapsed.

So I guess my question is, how long does it normally take to recover from a professional burn out? What am I supposed to do now and how am I gonna find the strength to do it?

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mentalhealth,goofygoobersforlife,2018/02/18,"Stop diagnosing others with mental disorders The title pretty much says it all, I am tired of people diagnosing others with mental illnesses. If you aren't a psychologist and you don't have the training then you really have no business diagnosing someone with mental illness. If you think that someone has a mental illness and are a danger to themselves or others you can have a trained professional evaluate them. I don't care if a family member has x disorder or if you work with kids you still don't have the experience to diagnose someone. There are too many armchair psychologists running around.",7.914072096128173,9.354855654205608,8.45740987983979,61.65271028037387,62.55140186915888,11.347930574098802,36.781041388518034,11.20814326018867,4.830677970627503,493,23,71,14,7,164,64,107,0.22,0.752,0.028,-0.9623,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,7,1,1,4,2,1,0,8,0,14,8,0,0,1,16,16,9,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,5,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,10,1,8,16,2,5,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,6,3,60,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911898426574302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642788643986176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5432560330469787,0.0,0.0,0.3067149714119031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089154284755844,0.12614385729981306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566201299393296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5393947392106363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836551094600708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276678371992628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613254974106787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572190723239674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641082805439664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401295222378125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686058308723,0.11187088386123058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573983977761265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379454265896686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974150405143598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atminas,2018/02/18,"How to choose a therapist without paying for a session with each one. I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and I know I have problems. However, one of my problems is being non-confrontational and speaking up. I have been seeing my psychologist for about 3 or 4 months now, but I have to make appointments 2 or 3 weeks out, and I really don't feel like we click. Unfortunately I don't really know what I need, or what kind of psychologist (or really even what kind of therapy) is best for me. 

My questions are
1) Is it rude to ask your current psychologist who now knows your personality, to direct you to someone more like you. (I feel silly saying this but I feel very fake when I'm talking to someone who is too squeaky clean as a psychologist. I feel like I need a really down ass motherf***** to be my psychologist i.e. someone who has experimented with drugs and maybe even curses on accident). 

2) Is there any sort of psychology triage (even a match.com-esque site) where someone can evaluate you and tell you what's actually best for you as far as treatment and who you would work best with?

I have been looking at new people in my area, but there are just so many people and it is so hard to peg down someone's approach and personality by a 2 paragraph blurb. The idea of having to sift through all of them and the disappointment of having finally tried to get help and it's just not working (and I feel like the same thing will keep happening) makes me want to suck it up and not go back to therapy at all. 

Also money.",4.3983277591973255,6.052272043478261,5.818461538461541,76.5015384615385,71.0401337792642,9.347157190635453,29.387959866220736,9.761364909221204,2.871175250836121,1227,49,234,31,23,414,159,299,0.142,0.773,0.085,-0.9446,2,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,1,8,1,5,18,16,2,0,9,0,25,3,1,3,2,56,47,27,0,6,12,0,6,4,0,2,2,2,1,3,14,19,0,1,11,0,2,2,5,6,0,2,3,11,31,10,43,40,8,25,0,1,3,1,24,13,3,6,14,170,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.09121231844869704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474717266250477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356216526778688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738095271064095,0.0,0.0,0.07187193682189058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29427003231522125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486912731285507,0.0,0.0,0.10712363932134476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839443390472044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185206295700663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914306749466488,0.0,0.0,0.23630382314775025,0.20032294314185325,0.0,0.10239078533401344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488337255014595,0.0,0.05312062018922458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265438013171117,0.0,0.08372991761339227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265033996229072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055151904469546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830795942270758,0.0,0.19466728295321975,0.1541044510941792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18265704356840984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784904687230762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478264527921455,0.09476295521324966,0.09390223279765543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460611109670216,0.0,0.0,0.13861224571932984,0.0,0.0902729995639589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667410666798445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295993532297318,0.2448407309824427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788745322612049,0.0,0.0,0.10470673740852504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23951469026841696,0.0,0.09228941950903093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433034724005286,0.0,0.0,0.07448273849296015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959801515939382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075126889028562,0.08169607732650558,0.0,0.21378002960751435,0.10852478155298402,0.062096689504678684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345935554807873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712176249479326,0.05513047266087455,0.0,0.07497524111256569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901008373641538,0.0,0.13609317623455905,0.0,0.0,0.06639773771055621,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imnotaflower,2018/02/18,"Can you fall in love on antidepressants? On 10mg of Lexapro for anxiety/depression
I started seeing someone within weeks of going on antidepressants in like October. I've found my emotions are less intense, and I don't have that anxiety when she doesn't message etc., but I thought that this was just because this is only my second relationship, and I'm comparing it to my first. However, I went like 3-5 days without properly taking my meds because I'd run out, and this period of time has been the first time I really truly felt those bubbles of love you get at the start of a relationship. 

Is this a coincidence or is love just one of those emotional highs that I'm incapable of feeling on antidepressants?",8.134412698412696,7.534632748148152,8.713650793650796,66.94000000000003,62.25925925925926,12.751322751322752,39.285714285714285,12.031772070788634,4.933793650793652,571,27,101,17,7,192,88,135,0.024,0.765,0.211,0.976,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,2,3,5,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,0,0,13,27,6,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,6,3,12,5,19,21,2,24,0,0,1,3,9,10,0,1,12,70,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029163326419295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917096091435715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014097118267509,0.0,0.13543448126257418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537578581697728,0.0,0.0,0.1753692140567744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950755785529537,0.0,0.15097940579031618,0.0,0.0,0.26750422980170124,0.0,0.17241050835892227,0.0,0.0,0.08215377567482808,0.0,0.08936568877184826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613747679849394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364346697548145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425757976353472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746632219911551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065529614640993,0.1195915489967042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073487089649427,0.0,0.0,0.3376435511744549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253035300289479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332327780101911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22259697202454112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822831547886438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248345905794051,0.18338109721335547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613207524672224,0.0,0.0,0.1457672525081379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157811338206484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway045789390,2018/02/18,"“Get a Job!” I sit by myself all the time on an off semester of college. I had to leave because of mental health. I live with my mom and her boyfriend. I have everything I need and most things I want. Yet I’m still sad. I’m lonely. Everyone I know is in school or out in the world. My nearest friend is 6 hours away. But all I hear is “Get a job.” I tell my mom I can’t handle being alone anymore, “Get a job.” I tell my grandma I’m struggling to get up in the morning, “Get a job.” I tell my boyfriend I can’t stand to be away from him and everyone else any longer, “Get a job.” I tell my counselor that everyone thinks a job will magically fix my loneliness and she tells me to get a job too. I have been fired twice for anxiety-related causes and I’ve only had two jobs. I am so sick of that being the solution to everything. I know I need one but can I have some actual advice please?????? I’ve got tons of hobbies that I’ve tried to entertain myself with and it’s stopped working. ",0.2219138755980872,2.184689253588516,2.5685885167464133,93.56761961722488,84.69377990430623,6.288038277511963,21.461722488038284,7.520522993642371,0.7147397129186599,750,25,176,13,22,256,114,209,0.101,0.856,0.043,-0.8287,8,3,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,12,0,17,2,0,1,2,24,35,10,0,3,3,2,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,4,2,32,2,24,27,5,18,0,2,0,0,12,11,0,3,5,111,37,11,0.0,0.0,0.0817119246381411,0.0,0.0,0.08182351459220746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672276722088472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694172614546302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304124122434557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573409658672234,0.0,0.0,0.051043231466604236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601748295083646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994868668992782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24003315803007416,0.15050873898104847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469237937310478,0.0,0.30623148672111744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696941712505641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900491186616423,0.0943738640394786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246073899527673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6647415009084805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092035604462002,0.0,0.0,0.08866180280746692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393831169776985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438378452122987,0.0,0.0,0.1961355840403164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417482165538762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567400611764959,0.06368318358332231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191435904500844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474288364055621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686976910632789,0.07000504729994568,0.0,0.08753654968422522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659343292260395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562888981862992,0.053653116270780066,0.0,0.0,0.04882574135682041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05684962476911672,0.0,0.0817955699971944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049388252638970516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060959065339942574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,urgentAlbatross,2018/02/18,"Hopeless history of symptoms I have failed to find help for years and just need someone to read this and share their thoughts.  This is long and I am leaving a LOT out.

I’m a white male from the US in my 30’s.  I’ve still not been formally diagnosed with anything to date.  I seem to have had OCD since I was a child, but was only seen as disruptive and a bad student.  There have been some theories that I am autistic, but if that’s true then I am either “high-functioning” (I do extremely well in my line of work), or just barely on the spectrum, because most people don’t notice anything off about me until they get to know me well.  I have a long history of not being able to effectively communicate with others, and ruining friendships along the way (though I’ve had multiple, caring, long-term relationships.)

I was not previously aware of the OCD myself until seeking help decades later, but it wasn’t until a multitude of significant life events had happened that pushed me to do so.  

When I was graduating college around the turn of the millennium I began to experience serious outward symptoms that started with swelling emotions that were difficult to keep inside.  They were powerful enough that I felt like I would cry out.  These would occur whenever I was watching a film (it didn’t have to be particularly moving), and the music would sweep up and over me.  I had a lot of emotional reaction to “epic” music then.

This lasted a few months until I began to vocalize involuntarily.  It was in a semi-controllable way at first, where it would only happen in the shower, or when I was alone, and usually my mind was idle and not focused on a particular task.  I was able to keep it to myself for some time, but then these symptoms gradually became worse until I could no longer contain “sighs” or other audible sounds. These were generally interpreted as frustration or exhaustion by those around me, and not yet an obvious psychological disorder.

I didn’t seek help for this for about 5 years.  This was during the era that insurance companies were pulling the “preexisting condition” crap on people, and the internet was beginning to show signs of recording and indefinitely storing every detail about people (how far we’ve come since then).  I was terrified of this for a long time, so I chose (mistakenly, I think) to live with this in secret.

I self-medicated with a glass of wine every night for that period of my life.  It suppressed the part of my mind that caused the symptoms and I was able to live in peace for the most part, but obviously this became habitual, and I knew it would do more long-term damage if not checked.  

By my late 20’s I had established myself in my career (I work in the entertainment industry as a creative-type), and felt secure enough to seek help.  I approached my general physician with my problems first.  In hindsight he was a piece of shit.  He put my on Zoloft with the literal excuse “don’t worry, this will make everything better”.  It did at first, because it was the first time I realized I had been living with extreme social anxiety.  I made new friends easier than I ever had, and felt more free than I had before, but my symptoms were still there.  

The Zoloft changed my personality so much that I began making significant mistakes.  I switched from drinking to smoking marijuana because I felt it was healthier and it also suppressed my symptoms.  I became more aggressive in my social behavior, and was more narcissistic to the point that I lost my job.  (I’m not a narcissist under normal circumstances and I was very blind to my behavior).  

I tried to see a therapist around this time, but he blamed me for my problems and offered no help or way forward, so I immediately stopped going.  I retreated into myself then, smoking to an unhealthy extent, and focusing on my work to find another job.  I was fortunate to find one about 6 months later and moved to another state.  Due to shame over my past job, I cut ties with my past co-workers.

When I started my new job I immediately tried to seek help again.  I found a wonderful psychiatrist who monitored my medication and helped with therapy.  I tried so many different medications to reduce my symptoms, easily more than 20, which is probably a low estimate.  By this time I had switched back to drinking to self-medicate, and my original issues were lost under habitual alcohol use.  

Some of the medications made me manic, and I began destroying relationships at my new job.  My original symptoms became worse over time; they seem tied to stress and situations were becoming so stressful that I couldn’t manage anything.  I was removed from my original position at my job and placed on a different team.  My psychiatrist retired, I had switched back to marijuana in desperation to stop the drinking, and my behavior at work was out of control.

It’s worth noting that I sought help multiple times for the substance use, even checking myself into a rehab facility, but their processes were ultimately unhelpful.  I knew the substance use was as symptom itself of attempting to cover up my original symptoms, but things became confused as to what I should “fix” first.

I chose quit my job when confronted by HR for a second time.  I cut my ties with my coworkers a second time, but was so manic and deluded, and feared I had killed my career, that I decided to go into business for myself.  For 5 years I struggled to make ends meet, making less than $15,000 a year (down from a normal salary).  I was now on the maximum dosage of Zoloft and feel like it contributed to a significant loss of inhibition.  I began medicating with more frightening substances such as Kratom and Dextromethorphan in an attempt to “kill” the part of my mind that was causing this.  

My OCD began to make me relive every negative social interaction continuously throughout the day, which in turn exacerbated my vocalizations, making them more Tourettes like.  This wore my partner, by then of 8 years, out, who no longer felt they could trust my behavior and had no energy to help me any further.  My partner sought out another, more stable relationship.  

I have been suicidally depressed since losing that second, good job, my relationship, and several long-term friends who knew nothing about what I was experiencing, weren’t close enough I could open up to, and only saw substance use and mania from me.  After the loss of my partner, my medical insurance went away.  I chose to quit Zoloft by myself two years ago.  I pushed through with the help of alcohol and just pure will.  I wanted to see who I was after 10 years on that medication.

Who I was then was so stressed out that the prior events had left me with severe PTSD.  I now no longer need to think about actual, negative social interactions, as my mind will invent fictional interactions that are emotionally stressful enough to exhibit outward, uncontrollable, unmanageable vocalizations.  I also now have physical ticks that manifest at the same time in the form of full-body convulsions.

I’m currently living with state-funded healthcare (not disability though), and my current psychiatrist and therapist (two separate people), are absolutely terrible.  I’ve seen multiple therapists/psychiatrists since then with a mix of results, but nothing like these people who are over-worked and borderline-irresponsible.  Today I share an office with other independent contractors in my line of work, but I now experience such severe symptoms and mood-swings (which are also new), that it’s been impossible to keep my condition a secret any longer.  Everyone is annoyed by my presence and I feel it’s only a matter of time before the situation will dissolve on its own.  

I’m no longer using any substances to self-medicate; it became trivial to stop after I also quit the Zoloft, but I began taking Zoloft again a week ago because I don’t feel I have a choice.  I have no money, no one to fall back on, and the only reason I’m not homeless is due to the amazing, unearthly kindness of a few people in my community.  This has been a very log way to fall, especially considering that I’ve actively sought help almost the entire way.

The good news, if there is any, is that I do know I’m not experiencing psychosis (have to take the positive wherever you can find it, I guess).  I also never stopped working and managed to make almost 30k last year.  Frighteningly, I still don’t make enough to live off of, but I do now make enough that I’ll be forced to pay for healthcare this year, which will eliminate my budget for living expenses.

That last bit is not as important as just sharing this though.  I want to know what’s wrong with me, if there’s any hope.  How can someone see multiple psychiatric professionals, over the course of over 10 years, and no one has any idea what’s wrong?  I get that people are reluctant to hand out diagnoses, but this is fucking ridiculous.  

If anyone has any input or advice, I would appreciate it.  I have no resources, social or otherwise, to manage this any more.  I just needed to reach out anonymously and rant, and hope to receive some hope.  Thank you for letting me do so.  ",8.034017021331426,8.130880284601556,8.29243549353486,67.57415347545695,62.21150389454763,11.851951783631947,36.40040072930156,11.40129507085771,4.3660960732394,7261,308,1232,195,93,2388,592,1669,0.156,0.73,0.114,-0.9978,17,1,7,0,0,1,206.0,1,2,7,27,64,70,13,9,76,0,123,41,3,29,6,250,212,119,3,29,44,0,9,4,5,12,33,2,2,6,87,83,6,12,33,9,9,16,33,43,3,13,87,22,173,27,225,105,37,209,0,11,9,1,60,72,3,31,121,891,260,27,0.08550664869875142,0.0,0.02781405154920641,0.0,0.0,0.02785203583055237,0.05053098993032152,0.06092040215105617,0.05708170484132356,0.029519700198636638,0.0,0.1139660601194837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550598753681965,0.08966117662268312,0.021804117404185124,0.0,0.0,0.01992941229959195,0.0,0.0703646862404342,0.07611904580414715,0.0,0.0,0.026778770386410248,0.0657493348389039,0.02379816001611841,0.06949874587031893,0.031478458523855606,0.04850657345358564,0.0,0.0,0.025207894049981118,0.031117038117061808,0.031659536870067825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0290599090225938,0.05855925473601663,0.030151565515423025,0.024552135525957367,0.0,0.0,0.06393531819571067,0.06827010124662393,0.0,0.03130834617089219,0.018381571540713685,0.0,0.024548917076704962,0.05785829901894509,0.0,0.05955749915181836,0.03266600911913385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376396300363383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618347090582101,0.025244503676383912,0.17670245094755493,0.0,0.018825445011038392,0.02578188636534813,0.07204303940021653,0.02723508904619519,0.02561595411663387,0.05576127324458228,0.0,0.03207291734982649,0.04323473076941595,0.02036198897180809,0.13683298663989785,0.0,0.10420203710280848,0.12121985283677705,0.0,0.03125120894914472,0.0440414831174949,0.02634983962873829,0.029782463192213556,0.0,0.03239693263799531,0.04781261339536205,0.0,0.0,0.0313984045488294,0.0,0.050408831369508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014878213990712,0.030114156330336758,0.0,0.08492739556947954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032175532825279816,0.0,0.029748908638910262,0.22627241317646116,0.07600223815663948,0.0630669586141243,0.029680672167379556,0.046992217932783915,0.06969933110985845,0.032151741379884975,0.03017973159552003,0.030967741333423636,0.029145447182388887,0.040263916471968295,0.05569897259540568,0.0,0.1510078747108444,0.15134138672215827,0.0,0.03188668938007514,0.062227071884480074,0.04846312998465654,0.0,0.05393897230868745,0.17122905592927573,0.028896773660445376,0.0,0.0,0.09497861061020348,0.17227790561661013,0.0,0.0,0.1151164533069241,0.0,0.04550039414022015,0.06058669033825152,0.02095240843822617,0.0634020965593126,0.021982666264720795,0.1101104721852099,0.0,0.02674739914151367,0.055852240629499485,0.054697290369013433,0.03244996209259339,0.0,0.0,0.05794151808773568,0.1083860990209322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259536797866076,0.05441718097462014,0.13831893580537222,0.024887035832853274,0.029778749575909175,0.0,0.026943807070553397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030730209803651695,0.05454554325303864,0.033317565521147764,0.028652599679029226,0.0,0.09094684611255316,0.02850992933741605,0.0,0.0,0.029305025324849014,0.0,0.12240285430998872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813772842977815,0.051894694380140334,0.0892020828999527,0.09659817452968122,0.029257115375236405,0.09430931120657868,0.06407537048369162,0.0,0.14527210040365754,0.048299670641926085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040348030699521226,0.0,0.06828572010426381,0.09531651606191403,0.13059676958348027,0.02979670490126026,0.0,0.031176798461921857,0.0,0.0,0.3258718756665032,0.042860238925154656,0.0,0.0,0.02624101131375081,0.03259476825511618,0.06618653970908206,0.01893560598275605,0.036526138586006784,0.08400984820555504,0.02262757596048833,0.182818586435818,0.0,0.027016768312136827,0.0,0.0,0.058053401662620276,0.062004453287975464,0.05568504745112175,0.0,0.03428465674287655,0.123083817668713,0.03139116441777945,0.04703462677143419,0.03362269120226675,0.11311866288363308,0.02286275863486585,0.0,0.05125383074390913,0.0264218399993994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03090943768145505,0.16599962301856525,0.028945384115027336,0.05809238670759612,0.12148293985998193,0.062325398195662914,0.0,0.18354492772132336
mentalhealth,turf1600,2018/02/18,Does anyone here ever have periods of time where they’re extremely emotional and sensitive but are otherwise stable? Recently I’ve been feeling super emotional - including what I’d like to imagine is empath level emotional understanding of the plight of strangers or anyone else I encounter. This is really abnormal for me and honestly I’m not prepared for it. I feel like “emotional awakening “ kind of accurately describes how I’m feeling - almost to the degree that I feel like I’m living in a different world that I was once mute to. Anyone ever experience the same? It’s really kind of messing me up ,8.869938837920492,9.056839678899085,9.790412844036695,57.22702599388381,60.46788990825689,14.23914373088685,41.10244648318043,13.295006501635747,6.380173088685014,491,25,71,19,6,169,73,109,0.017,0.6990000000000001,0.285,0.9838,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,2,16,14,5,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,6,7,12,12,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,8,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878980994755302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907410722699069,0.1420140545180931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480951490867827,0.0,0.0,0.12129148126939344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578412588525325,0.6236340550431887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507467580853077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557928126993374,0.0,0.0,0.28032519740145523,0.19803449020363126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886651588754977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314170299256606,0.0,0.12238804178421255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760652990896475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775838884440665,0.0,0.13685268290051528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081989886041625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428949517257594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ezekiel39-17,2018/02/18,"Beginning to become concerned. Lately people around me are expressing concern about my mental health. Actually this has been going on for some time. I never payed their claims any mind because I knew that I was pretty intelligent. Never able to keep long term friendships but I never have given up knowing I forever to make friends, doesn't hurt me so much. So let's get to the concerns. Been reading the mess out of the new testament lately, going ham so to speak. I became focused on Jesus and helping others which people were initially proud of and still are but people close to me are becoming concerned. I just know God has something special reserved for me or that I'm going to be called to accomplish something. Also a potential problem I noticed years ago but I've come to grips. Serious question, is it normal to be attracted to much older women? 40s through late 60s this has been going on for some years, I've always been like this since puberty began. ",4.529895251396648,6.979130044692745,5.187650139664807,77.79588861731845,72.57541899441341,7.380027932960894,29.06459497206704,8.278499904357787,2.4542650837988824,774,32,124,13,16,249,119,179,0.042,0.752,0.206,0.9857,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,8,9,0,0,4,0,18,1,0,1,3,25,33,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,8,6,0,1,4,1,1,5,4,4,0,0,9,2,14,5,24,21,5,29,2,1,0,0,8,7,0,4,18,87,22,3,0.12495208111884552,0.0,0.1219352066175974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107624807346934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992413412679724,0.10397014119339892,0.0,0.0,0.0849716999502514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123384357534524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616962888676157,0.2759995132186572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759004530252493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076351538705005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653766791538126,0.0,0.06528230517763536,0.0,0.2840525888867171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281821920659972,0.0,0.0,0.08375274609713383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376378715813492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106315089976042,0.0,0.0,0.13734079200738045,0.0,0.42285417009486576,0.0,0.0,0.1277719687065245,0.0,0.06104527526125968,0.0,0.0,0.11057865977749294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834064844156406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259223087246701,0.0,0.12616598209570526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837083135861444,0.0,0.28911224403093805,0.12067949857028165,0.0,0.0,0.12242650965763564,0.0,0.14225877253062305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598781203406645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712118758189944,0.0,0.1195622664835776,0.0,0.0,0.1399749274802629,0.0,0.12498589492655615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336165272068727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238843330328906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978689338869323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286056333841738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093008705127035
mentalhealth,wildflwer,2018/02/18,"I walked out of my job today I just got a new job working as a call center support agent. The training went great, I did really well on all my tests and ended up 4th in the class. Today we started our first day of “nesting” which basically means we go out on the floor and actually take calls all day, but we still have supervisors around for us to raise our hands if we need help. I thought I could do it. Seems like a pretty easy thing, right?

I walked out. I had a pretty huge panic attack and I walked out on my lunch break..Thankfully my fiancée also works there, so she talked to her supervisor and left with me to take me home. She’s so understanding. But I feel horrible. I feel so dramatic, stupid, and useless. I only made it through half the day on my FIRST day of calls. I feel like at this rate, I’ll never make it anywhere in life. What am I supposed to do if I just quit everything I start? What am I ever going to do if everything makes me anxious to the point where I want to die?

I don’t even know why I thought I would be okay doing this job. I get anxious and have to write out what to say just to make a doctor’s appointment, how did I think I was going to be able to work at a call center? I don’t know, I feel like the most dramatic person in the world. And so weak. I didn’t even try. 

I’m not gonna lie, I’m really hating myself right now and I kind of want to die. Which is also dramatic, but that’s what my brain is telling me to do right now. I don’t think I will, but it sounds really tempting.

Fuck. I don’t know what I’m going to do. What the fuck do I do. I’m dreading telling anyone that I quit my job on the first real day. I’m so fucking weak. 

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Maybe for advise if anyone has any? Has anyone else gone through something similar? Or maybe just a kind word or two? I think I just needed to vent. Oh, and I’m from the US, the rules say to post what country you’re from so.",0.6518421052631567,2.4115546028708152,2.7132511961722514,94.22250837320576,81.91866028708135,5.902488038277513,19.301674641148324,6.961326702584282,0.07640267942583723,1496,37,355,18,40,504,188,418,0.157,0.7509999999999999,0.092,-0.9901,4,0,1,0,0,2,49.0,8,0,0,8,24,20,6,2,18,1,31,10,2,5,4,71,80,29,2,10,16,0,5,3,0,3,4,3,1,1,19,20,1,0,16,0,0,9,8,11,1,5,11,8,58,9,46,63,3,58,0,1,0,3,24,28,3,8,22,224,77,12,0.06949233499628324,0.0,0.06781449456653421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111459903792772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047257170791179,0.0,0.0,0.15701311667812012,0.0,0.14577196922001026,0.07120310942790399,0.0,0.06186291137728174,0.0,0.07905756329748298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775764283508902,0.2838377749601723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548397485176893,0.0,0.0,0.2240840355758337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442441446027646,0.0,0.0,0.07112834951105935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805192882773135,0.0,0.061549582388899925,0.0,0.0,0.09179806373444913,0.06285979551539979,0.0,0.0,0.12491045960606348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054965034064024,0.09929067601313966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733043394298822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927336317584884,0.036306876845203735,0.0,0.1579763817195048,0.0,0.05557936854214352,0.07661554466289608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860929376627797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657924731245527,0.0,0.06970647805993395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758416785624588,0.0,0.0,0.14473114626001132,0.15276467972956834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550362530528974,0.0,0.049084491340377685,0.10185133405727566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657553276278495,0.13916001968053154,0.0,0.1396287818168709,0.07569752518704283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305537173112912,0.05359677281569492,0.06711613017355866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285205220921912,0.0,0.08153428215811967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067802647443948,0.0,0.0,0.06569271847919338,0.0,0.13310889494159747,0.14139737527323767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782730449828166,0.0,0.07909749103405858,0.17807427700621847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17803822316147505,0.0,0.11052618801427193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326321183104283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534985945684495,0.0,0.0,0.09837406477090917,0.0,0.0554966684949404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885907823235476,0.0,0.0,0.10449917497881347,0.055855306547147786,0.1214787275708068,0.06397920547492085,0.0,0.0,0.046167619512745214,0.13358364686434396,0.0,0.11033830323580872,0.0,0.0,0.13174121610204542,0.0,0.0,0.047180733865804084,0.0,0.0678839136601629,0.0723439715099538,0.1671814452699991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197675933024695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062481954855585574,0.06442009075546673,0.12541204698575933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517737425810284,0.0,0.0,0.049365360948864234,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,echovictorecho92,2018/02/18,"Former EMT, Current School Mental Health Worker, martial artist, Overwhelmed being constantly on guard. I’ve probably got a little PTSD brewing from my time in EMS and my childhood, but self diagnosis isn’t recommended especially in pros. 
I can’t calm down, ever. I’ve got deeply engrained habits that are results of trauma. My anxiety is almost always through the roof, coffee only helps a little bit. Yeah, I know, caffeine addiction. Here are some of my habits/quirks

• Being a generally quiet person, but able to go 1-10 really quick in a violent situation 
• Reaching out to touch doors about an arms length away and reaching down to touch handles as I get closer to avoid getting my face slammed. 
• Being extremely jumpy and reactive to touch I wasn’t “prepared” for. 
• Being extremely protective of colleagues and students
• Cannot put my hands in my pockets
• Visually Assessing everyone I come in contact with - students, coworkers, parents. Pupils, expressions, emotional state, drug use signs, breathing sounds, weapons.
• Speedwalk to light jog everywhere, unless an emergency then I run. 
• Physical Violence in my environment amps me up to the point I’m physically and emotionally numbed, and then later I have a massive adrenaline crash. 
• Watching for obstructions should I have to use defensive techniques against a student  

And even when I’m not spewing with anxiety, I’m still doing all of these anxious habits. I know how to calm down, but I can’t tell when I need to take a minute to do so most times. Also, can anyone just talk?  ",5.971766607402621,8.576850799256508,6.122977210279622,71.99513980927753,68.88847583643123,9.436625181832877,34.74397931145951,9.867487886160001,4.098542783255213,1231,62,187,32,23,391,179,269,0.14400000000000002,0.768,0.08800000000000001,-0.9674,2,1,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,3,2,11,1,18,8,4,4,2,35,33,19,0,2,6,1,4,0,0,1,4,2,1,2,2,11,0,4,2,2,0,5,6,7,0,0,3,8,20,2,38,25,4,37,0,1,1,0,8,17,0,3,14,116,22,5,0.13807142155499738,0.0,0.0,0.1505182296022137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382585843118081,0.0,0.0,0.11041566593370077,0.11488648340472725,0.14960032756920905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112485191429465,0.15598140588949996,0.0,0.09654274827170804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297226455841855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507382321533962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893630399045405,0.0,0.14920615592981573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011901422861333,0.0,0.0,0.3106235306881897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119487175448587,0.12489350553455855,0.0,0.13193316021658152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442732381494337,0.0,0.07846917072686338,0.0,0.22085665776386107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467634646022126,0.0,0.0,0.09254636344765883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176088481401231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767676741240752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914351818250922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237820958640056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500953782911623,0.0,0.0,0.15331197398571353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055863963882794,0.0,0.0,0.13052212199690216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886434506006302,0.0,0.1613981031041324,0.13879991424529753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845208816893974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973564989505094,0.0,0.0,0.14403860494000434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519806279360607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026401560794702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381252580893187,0.11097657859341352,0.12068050818331713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102111249935716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23849875444153795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Auveresti,2018/02/18,"Psychologists of reddit... A question please... What should someone  do if they suspect a family member of having psychotic, narcacistic behaviors? Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.",8.647857142857141,13.151600928571431,8.632857142857144,45.637142857142884,75.42857142857143,11.371428571428574,39.142857142857146,10.125756701596842,6.975757142857143,158,9,14,6,4,51,25,28,0.071,0.74,0.19,0.5709,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970906071038376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067480488268731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866085766205312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33518964643178817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6674583184634374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405786062673893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576001725910576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597128827096607,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chateaumama,2018/02/18,"I hate being alone but feel overwhelmed in the company of people. Here’s a little background... I’m 18 years old and currently on a journey of achieving good mental health, clarity, and comfort within myself. I have been diagnosed with a few different things, depression, anxiety, bipolar NOS. I feel like Anxiety is the most prominent in my daily life. In a literally sense, it feels like there is a constant shadow being cast over me, preventing me from enjoying myself and others. I am convinced that EVERYONE dislikes me and I know this is because I don’t like myself. My biggest issue is pushing my friends and family away, I have become very secluded besides my boyfriend. I feel very comfortable when I am with him and we hang out with our friends. Unfortunately I jump to the chance of getting drunk or high to be able to actually enjoy the company of others and feel like I am being interesting. It’s an awful habit because I feel like I can’t have or BE fun without it. I notice that I mimic people and their personalities when I am with them, it’s very annoying and difficult to notice while I am doing it. I am not a terribly unhappy person, but I get overwhelmed and sad easily, I am sensitive. To carry on a conversation stresses me out because my mind is so jumbled. I guess I’d really just love to hear from other people who feel this way so I don’t feel so alone. Its difficult for me to open up to the friends I do have. Any tips? ",4.925215053763439,6.272039541218637,6.514299283154124,73.20478225806454,69.35842293906809,9.881075268817206,32.22956989247312,10.125756701596842,3.5414184946236564,1148,51,202,30,20,394,150,279,0.147,0.59,0.263,0.9921,2,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,2,1,9,27,2,3,13,1,27,6,0,0,0,38,43,20,0,0,7,0,8,5,3,0,4,1,0,2,15,18,1,1,9,1,0,4,5,10,0,0,1,9,41,17,31,37,2,27,0,4,0,1,14,15,0,4,12,153,56,1,0.10349244645291476,0.0,0.10099369877316527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21437392567285427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037841249518986,0.0,0.15834287653039406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972345602055246,0.0,0.0,0.18926410432661372,0.11429927611867664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183856825042447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913789248092815,0.10504265465082496,0.0,0.10812757929891388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889146765711844,0.0,0.0,0.0975634679239456,0.0,0.4186311242134137,0.2957400976989236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398740222162257,0.0,0.1081410635568883,0.0,0.0,0.08680455391884064,0.0,0.0,0.11400859760946748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217736476488508,0.0,0.11000763105447282,0.11664350875433722,0.0,0.0,0.10934545180710337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801922591511988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687674200922525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309977556494958,0.2528059086575113,0.10372661978704344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934059735386376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104296044341352,0.0,0.1044978685373001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23565367245992,0.10859791324898332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152458943685728,0.1807312247058712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662999112732838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855024774733693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875578278578312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561763207883685,0.0,0.08214748681745956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976302524404576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664574238253547
mentalhealth,tantelol,2018/02/18,"I just confessed to my mom in a text about my mental state and I honestly don't know what to do. Title. Basically, I've been feeling fucking terrible for a very long time now. I'm diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, though that doesn't necessarily correlate with my problems. I can't do anything. I feel completely useless. I push every small task away. I push my family, and especially my mother away. She got upset about it, and when she went to sleep I sent her a text explaining how I'm feeling. She came in, hugged me, and asked if I wanted to talk about it tomorrow. I said no. I honestly don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I have people who probably consider me to be their friend, but none of them would want to listen to my shit (like actually trust me on this, none of them are close enough with me to give a shit about it, we're just in the same class and therefore talk daily). I'm just so out of touch with everything, and I'm a spoiled brat. I have so much anger that I just don't seem to be able to get rid off. I have these fucking terrible thoughts about either killing myself, or killing someone else. That's the one thing I decided to not tell my mother, because the last thing I want is to end up in a hospital or anything else like it. So yeah. I confessed to my mother about most of the things I'm dealing with. ",2.5490245059288554,4.196344949090912,4.005407114624507,87.64167588932806,75.87272727272727,7.691699604743082,25.77470355731225,8.456263369488248,1.6243849802371535,1051,38,227,20,23,348,144,275,0.153,0.7609999999999999,0.086,-0.9773,0,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,3,0,19,19,7,1,10,1,18,7,3,2,0,44,45,16,2,6,10,4,4,2,1,1,1,2,0,0,15,14,0,0,11,0,0,5,10,12,0,2,7,6,38,7,42,35,7,25,2,1,0,3,26,12,4,5,9,156,53,1,0.11927062687179145,0.0,0.11639092683210067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962991267989212,0.0,0.1115019357739913,0.0,0.2241173601899956,0.0,0.0,0.07270626711110921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364138230837844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505298305643656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296277914916565,0.0,0.12105717564789617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992706085576333,0.0,0.1056383740107985,0.1232384406068098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049064723944053,0.0,0.10719274881794943,0.0,0.11243773220076568,0.0,0.18092043788321235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214819045756392,0.2205275452833889,0.06231397982692605,0.11441525335270175,0.0,0.0,0.09539161588849088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639105544402106,0.0,0.13109603466474812,0.09722147973902244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653920739497607,0.0,0.0,0.10555075155378886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019673913593976,0.0,0.0,0.13968831668267953,0.0,0.0,0.08767763420498335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164172703282167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268723510045127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859390853088348,0.11412588206630292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345367885380435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857949921261066,0.0,0.0,0.2448591690378619,0.0,0.0,0.11935676269211055,0.0,0.10105761510065543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875956359654933,0.10424778495162547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23771431428047346,0.0,0.11718278533148625,0.09468755507789876,0.06954766167791539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841075819975884,0.21104671777310705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056506603142864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472643128825935,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wet_lasagna,2018/02/19,"My feelings towards things are Constantly switching One day I will love my cat, next day I don’t want her. I am absolutely head over heels in love with my girlfriend and then I’ll be questioning why I’m in a relationship.  I will love an artist or a song then wonder what I was thinking. 
It’s such a battle to be grounded in knowing who I am and what I enjoy in life. 
I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, is this a normal symptom? ",3.185008025682184,4.664787404494387,4.880930979133229,82.71426966292137,73.83146067415731,8.231781701444623,29.56821829855538,8.841846274778883,2.3867836276083456,345,15,70,7,7,117,60,89,0.104,0.7070000000000001,0.189,0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,5,0,11,8,2,0,0,13,20,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,12,4,9,15,0,13,0,1,0,3,8,7,0,3,6,51,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661847644912782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212412272840209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26406881563521983,0.0,0.17633430969746694,0.20779741904494448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351802731066516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101128318594322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112514675419138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460739540193948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5543325315576506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773349341738898,0.0,0.20059268328795726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873086625233647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22934531397507635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980422550118173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127936570144862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601402453882436,0.13118320888356724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075551081943264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473767346263356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22202178367648875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tatya9,2018/02/19,"21 year old student feeling completely inadequate... is this something I should seek help about? I used to be severely depressed in my early teens, probably from 15-16 years old. I was taking college courses, gaining weight from stress, on and off an old middle school eating disorder, and I cracked. My parents found out I planned on killing myself and had occasionally self-harmed, but I never got help for it. Seeing how upset they were forced me to push all those feelings down. From 17 until now I've honestly been relatively happy.

Any triggers of suicide I completely push away. I ended up in an abusive relationship from 18-19 where he attempted to commit suicide when I broke up with him. It resurfaced a lot of those feelings of not being good enough, but I still pushed past it.

Now I am 21 and I'm starting to feel those dark feelings again. I've been doing so good for 5 years of not having any thoughts of hurting myself. I dropped any toxic friend who used their mental health to push me to do uncomfortable things (I've had two friends threaten suicide when I wouldn't spend time with them, one friend use me as her therapist for depression, etc). 

I know I have so much going for me. I've got a 3.5 GPA (relatively okay). I'm studying abroad living in a beautiful English town. I have a ton of friends who love me. A family that loves me. But no matter what I do, I feel like it isn't enough. That I'm falling behind in this race I've made for myself. Somehow I'm too fat, extremely dumb, completely disconnected from reality. I think everyone secretly hates me. I'm spending all my time in my room watching movies instead of adventuring around town in a foreign country. 

What do I do? Have you ever gone through this? Is it another little bout of depression I can get through? Should I talk to someone?",4.325823384108689,6.229229,5.021888637299302,81.13117795389053,71.6801152737752,7.954261012762452,30.836661177439275,8.634040054169528,2.532417126389461,1441,64,266,26,28,464,203,347,0.212,0.637,0.151,-0.9798,1,0,1,0,0,6,48.0,0,1,3,3,20,23,3,2,8,1,25,6,1,6,5,41,55,14,4,3,5,1,7,1,4,3,2,0,1,0,18,8,3,0,11,0,2,7,6,10,0,2,12,9,42,13,48,38,8,50,0,5,2,2,21,21,1,2,22,176,60,4,0.0,0.10350005225184387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782108821577473,0.09159814967268796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077763464780882,0.0,0.0,0.08207183678485437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747666135144447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22571328180774686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011510349999704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938481737004925,0.0,0.0,0.07736960120074332,0.1805197986363496,0.09742265648499014,0.0,0.07901657690960782,0.0,0.08347036666607546,0.0,0.0,0.08234945474832815,0.0,0.26501244948463754,0.06240562249106536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577901013353468,0.269957534421841,0.0,0.045638791902908336,0.0,0.04964521763749102,0.14653656408484278,0.13972974022550924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298981941395518,0.0,0.08624386212438193,0.0,0.09285307941854808,0.0,0.0,0.11710291602060928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935141249936507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664411508084617,0.0,0.048007402688598606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267668867886176,0.0875515268584841,0.0771350679889422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426513683769442,0.15768055717617016,0.08265634433140243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803215554630578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421514583299802,0.0,0.06737269007279241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27498957754857817,0.0,0.0591932433409588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699613548163144,0.0,0.08338915362423402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941822468685697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378536557103999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840678047819804,0.06960972499092563,0.0,0.0911291380322829,0.09868500929798962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401465094338427,0.06724927718287269,0.0,0.0,0.061829519099986276,0.0,0.06976091376694289,0.0,0.10006356344244227,0.0,0.0,0.28665286843861165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567923924188625,0.07021173214779516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142457637104084,0.05803402998771499,0.05597283297841474,0.0,0.06934921560134558,0.10187348866074923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533203839868274,0.0,0.0,0.22633709125845064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637348091700424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875908564805114
mentalhealth,Milo_Burns,2018/02/19,"Who do you talk to/How do you deal with chronic and severe paranoia? I dont know if im crazy or if this is even a thing, but i have the absolute worst trust issues ever. I dont believe anything im presented with and nothing anyone tells me no matter how big or small. My brother tells me he's going to the store, in my head i KNOW for some reason that its a lie. My gf tells me she fell asleep and thats why she hasnt answered my texts, in my head I KNOW that she is cheating on me. Everything hurts to take in and i feel like im fucking crazy all the fucking time man. Idk if this is a forum where you can ask for help or anything, but if anybody knows how to deal with shit like this, please help a guy out.",1.1757692307692302,2.4638332435897468,2.8566666666666656,95.955,78.74358974358975,5.56923076923077,21.615384615384613,5.873414542411696,-0.03725384615384675,550,15,133,3,13,182,89,156,0.18600000000000005,0.687,0.127,-0.8846,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,0,5,9,4,0,7,0,10,7,4,3,2,30,20,15,0,4,9,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,9,8,0,0,7,0,1,2,4,6,0,0,0,1,21,3,13,20,3,13,0,1,0,2,21,8,3,8,5,82,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854047258965488,0.0,0.20840629851315756,0.0,0.11837905797468408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266515387342155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26109354713145183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29681156708725925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363587309707209,0.11454128043140747,0.0,0.0,0.1138040926258581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402636527134252,0.09046228254639213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23412905692536376,0.0,0.0,0.07196498529668258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538053909366406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599114621930625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697506835634793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355567152377241,0.0,0.41033634333440905,0.13216558473074047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783633302884657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372701417935007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150192554210905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899831067911125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019354271510866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305235390426868,0.12998069300751672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520766976697084,0.10177790554905207,0.3320324752980508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412528564723629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383716360280508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142610815505558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaaway5223,2018/02/19,"Pastor looking for advice with [presumably] mentally ill person I apologize for using a throwaway account, but my job relies on absolute anonymity. I need advice.


I work as an associate pastor at a church. For the past year or so, a woman from our congregation has been coming to the church during normal business hours once or twice a month wanting to speak to the senior pastor (SP) for prayer and guidance. When the SP is not around, which is uncommon, this person usually defers to to me. The first time I met with her, I was a little confused. She was looking for spiritual guidance for a legal matter she was going through. She told me that a parent had passed and that a sibling had convinced this parent on their deathbed to keep her out of the will. The way she talked about the situation had a conspiracy feel to it, but I have dealt with many people who each deal with grief in different ways, so I didn't think much of it at the time.


Fast forward a few months when she comes in again when the SP isn't around. This time she wanted prayers for cleansing. Apparently, strange things had been happening at her home. The SP and another member actually went to her house to pray over it at some point since the last time I had talked to her. She said things had gotten better for a few weeks, but the issues were back. I asked her how she knew this and the only thing she would tell me was that there was a ""dripping"" sound that was somehow connected to the evil spirits infesting her house [my own summary, not her's]. I can't really describe it, but the whole conversation had a paranoia feel to it.


A few weeks later, I met with her again or the same one. This time she gave me a little bit more information. She explained that her sibling was somehow influenced by or otherwise connected with this evil presence (also in her house) and that it was directly responsible for her father's death. I had a hard time following the conversation, as her train of thought was mostly incoherent. 


At this point, I became very concerned for this woman's well-being. I've been within earshot of the SP's conversations with this woman many times and he seems to treat the illness as a strictly spiritual matter, which, in my view is only amplifying the issue. 


Today, she called the church asking if the SP was in and if she could stop by and speak to him and also use our phone. I agreed. When she arrived, the SP was just finishing up another meeting, so I struck up conversation with her, wondering why she needed to use out phone (she has a cell). She explained that her phone was ""tapped."" I asked her how she became aware of this and she explained that her sibling (still involved in a legal battle with her) had information he otherwise couldn't have known. She became visibly upset when I asked her about this. I later overheard part of the conversation she was having with the SP, where she seemed to be suggesting that one of her lawyers was now in on the conspiracy too (with her brother). 


I need some advice. This woman clearly needs help outside of what we can offer at the church. In my estimation, the SP's (and others') response is gravely harmful. How does one go about getting help for a person in this situation? 


And I know people have mixed feelings about religion. I'm hoping we can look past religion's shortcomings in this matter and hear some solid suggestions. ",7.233234781091922,7.26490808791209,7.186186551543695,75.05692852782141,63.88226059654632,10.154700854700854,32.765088086516656,9.793970653908694,3.031784266527122,2680,96,486,49,36,857,277,637,0.094,0.8390000000000001,0.067,-0.9768,6,0,0,0,0,0,78.0,4,0,1,3,30,12,3,2,50,0,47,2,0,7,1,95,94,39,3,13,13,4,4,0,0,2,2,5,1,7,37,33,0,2,17,0,1,8,6,8,0,5,37,13,77,4,84,52,15,77,9,2,4,0,102,33,0,17,36,363,114,6,0.0,0.0,0.0702278516774673,0.0,0.0,0.21097127519482275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151014127111558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509239985394995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128128931500848,0.26911174678013405,0.0,0.0,0.05533695234091634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364755027909245,0.07856758062237297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348472213712487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239836439528858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057458517994901474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419316995725755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518852852694381,0.0,0.0,0.06297740866855514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091636094230366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612137345781865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037598952528584036,0.0,0.0817991933351022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363876773560655,0.0,0.06446686516829644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111023887081878,0.0,0.09647378462130313,0.0,0.07218716637854984,0.07147788266727331,0.07087142510741355,0.2491152365745096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022636596210126,0.07141455750857924,0.0639661563266249,0.0,0.0,0.039550303140127835,0.05866140810808365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425647853081847,0.0,0.0,0.1812984393773347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592324537782078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252419924734142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488419532453385,0.0,0.052902851261431724,0.21344573624741156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705108147197386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766408049348301,0.14629685758056665,0.1094658629286748,0.0,0.0,0.1598181258254369,0.07793151789868634,0.13739823942695456,0.09978349756817644,0.1885122408077906,0.0,0.0,0.13606113321747307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046102879602292327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845557766114901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102919915599187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953052459386024,0.16178425521886447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574716633747438,0.0601662988630653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568612901019325,0.06290093376306115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343184695987554,0.04611252406774747,0.0,0.05713249094841556,0.29374523437843963,0.0,0.0682147868487494,0.06876602607049465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864650047658684,0.07925972362619367,0.059378993865127114,0.08489411787321739,0.1142455735352496,0.11545260995195825,0.0,0.0647055395187107,0.06671264908101948,0.06493758222766317,0.0803468018260504,0.0,0.0,0.07804340914112813,0.0523916701026064,0.0,0.0,0.0511221571270446,0.0,0.0,0.04634335971284388
mentalhealth,gracie1030,2018/02/19,"Not depressed today, not sure what to do You know those days when you're not depressed after three days of laying in your bed and you're not really sure what to do cause you're used to doing nothing? Yeah, it's one of those days. I'm done with school today, don't have much work, kind of stuck in my head, but in a good way. I'm thinking about possibilities and I feel creative, but I don't drive and there is literally nothing to do? ",3.8546520146520153,4.346287890109892,4.718406593406595,88.24742673992675,71.19780219780219,7.3853479853479875,23.957875457875467,7.1686216300943375,0.6720754578754571,342,8,77,3,6,111,56,91,0.067,0.802,0.131,0.8276,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,1,9,1,1,2,2,17,16,6,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,2,2,1,5,4,13,14,1,12,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,7,47,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19055161544525007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35888142709075266,0.0,0.31952837019426983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898229518692232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379044443776192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558208112819272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036854153945584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316161226746387,0.10194167805827437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635813137891953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35596959309944964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569433499726082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911461756153815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883107174487954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877280387805141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34964846138404143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885593054277525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516498882504667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020572937733582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472350974864826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504055196776313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AbandonedPenguin,2018/02/19,"When I touch my face i feel like it isn't a part of me It's my first post on reddit and I don't even know if I'm doing this right or if in this subreddit I can even ask questions like this but right now I'm feeling really not like myself. I felt the need to scratch and when I did I felt like I wasn't touching my face at all, like I had a mask on. Also I noticed that when I'm breathing it doesn't feel right, like I'm breathing through something else. Can someone give me suggestions on what it could be?",0.2538857602574396,1.9765479203539835,2.096009654062754,98.33207562349155,83.07079646017701,5.1710378117457765,20.892196299275945,6.11248444174946,-0.10226725663716783,397,12,98,3,11,131,66,113,0.0,0.823,0.177,0.9455,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,11,4,4,0,1,17,24,10,0,4,5,0,8,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,8,16,6,8,17,2,14,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,4,11,64,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349685531354729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577809613241789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475235197228386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098906877099893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294734700904825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601170431933584,0.12057222069465727,0.3240991258034229,0.0,0.0,0.1435591274412906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190345520754326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275380840525574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947268775317419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251438254130861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215038355921515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18276585780632135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163889402058618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18906557061861387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812098320487798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323963698720159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300171157593086,0.12993051533474229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChocoSara,2018/02/19,"Sleeping pills? I know for sure I’m depressed so getting myself to just be awake and to function or think really makes me uneasy. I was getting some symptoms of psychosis before so that’s on and off. I’m not interested in doing anything including eating and I’ve lost some weight , I only want to be awake to do whatever’s supposed to be important. School , having showers and eating enough to survive. I self harm , it was much worse before those last couple of weeks but I’ve been too tired to do it as I please so it’s only been pretty shallow , I ended up taking a few pills that caused me insomnia for 2-3 days. I’m too tired to hurt myself the way it satisfies me and too terrified of what’s after death so I can’t commit suicide until I snap someday. 
So ... I just wanna sleep. I’ve thought of hurting myself enough to get me hospitalized for a  dis-functioning organ or several broken bones but I haven’t thought about it in a while. I don’t wanna take antidepressants just in case one of the side effects is weight gain and I already hate my body the way it is. Not seeing my therapist probably isn’t helping too (not enough money). So any suggestions on what sleeping pills I can buy over the counter? I’m in Turkey. Or maybe some way to idk not be awake or something , getting through the day maybe? So I can sleep. I’m sleeping like 14 hours a day already and now there’s school so I’d have to study and immediately sleep then. My mind’s been blank all day , it’s worse when I see people too. 
Please I do not need any advice on how to find other ways to cope or to find things to do , I’ve given all these up.",2.253454545454545,4.20923167878788,3.718181818181818,87.99727272727274,77.66666666666666,6.33939393939394,23.72727272727273,7.3011,0.9668363636363636,1274,42,261,16,30,420,165,330,0.172,0.738,0.091,-0.9855,2,0,1,0,0,5,32.0,0,0,0,4,21,9,1,0,9,0,24,19,8,4,4,45,47,29,2,4,15,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,1,1,15,8,4,0,7,0,2,0,9,6,0,1,9,4,26,3,41,34,10,30,0,4,2,0,3,12,0,8,15,168,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891513309513185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823545462421225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983551415093362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645640572013836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137437088023543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970319372815796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296002865929157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935645512964696,0.0,0.20832720070564975,0.0,0.06955617428598958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526982955681188,0.0,0.0,0.07152702874800489,0.25033174450152484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762148226399352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876949757017354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973114905302586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054129939347553765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795297076319297,0.0,0.17290479472449735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438211931989962,0.06582800654907647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945395466214801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815617087669624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390614819214648,0.0,0.1622631950280358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154188700445243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936593327057304,0.0598805406174304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472326020074834,0.1228391846389402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055986967780462436,0.0,0.0,0.17729460567760466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215924246372508,0.08707006595317897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051735216699865985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346146886231785,0.1287062805881134,0.0,0.08424751290760665,0.09123280186930337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4848939417871787,0.0,0.0,0.06217094191634104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833541702555935,0.0,0.07611283249769044,0.08393779247865403,0.12143893106576732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376549028633167,0.053651584949025,0.05174603941884972,0.0,0.12822460658932225,0.0,0.185637353358172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047632768523384036,0.2564056542599448,0.0647786629160218,0.1966813557132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459724727967567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,INTP36,2018/02/19,"Trying to regain my creativity, curiosity and mental dexterity. Hope this is the right place to ask, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I'm trying to first understand why I am now the way I am, and second try to understand how to become again the person I use to be.

As a kid, I was quite secluded, if you were to break into my room you would find a plethora of broken down computers, radios, tv's, toasters, old projectors, whatever I could get my hands on. My parents would go find these random electronics for me to take apart, explore and try to create some kind of frankenmachine with mismatched parts and electronics, often successful which drove my curiosity deeper into creating more and more. On this path even at 6-10 years old my parents and teachers were convinced I was on my way to a high level of electrical or mechanical engineering as I was even educating my teachers on scientific things they should have known.

Fast forward to 16 and I found myself a little more grown up, got into girls and cars and less and less into my electronics. 

Now I'm nearly 23 with no higher education and I feel very stuck. I want to get into an alternative energy engineering program at my local college and desperately trying to reignite my love and curiosity for electronics and mechanisms so I can perform at the level I know I should be. 

Just trying to find some guidance, thanks for reading.",8.13340239912759,7.843205938931303,8.73299890948746,65.78351145038168,62.12977099236642,11.913195201744823,35.88985823336969,11.35114627814755,4.277082006543076,1124,45,188,29,14,378,152,262,0.039,0.858,0.103,0.9421,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,4,9,6,0,0,10,0,19,2,1,2,0,50,40,21,0,8,3,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,5,22,0,0,11,3,0,6,1,0,0,2,10,2,29,6,40,23,9,42,0,0,0,1,10,25,0,8,10,141,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133295855244074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152541215015745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508357593379148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731548049664007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021541979614516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265379688092066,0.1012977880924883,0.0,0.13057590269586994,0.0,0.0,0.12443909040953235,0.0,0.06768152122798601,0.0,0.09524705328426196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582499298369973,0.0,0.11828311834954375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401378030470835,0.06544868164129311,0.0,0.1343385678536297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935934226099908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124595428470612,0.10748326309783672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200145852488557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24992958457390704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26447042897743345,0.1289627309986118,0.0,0.0,0.10398468662724213,0.12442357392817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266667426937415,0.1191221038868146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170210381356456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895407661911572,0.0,0.0,0.10964195802861328,0.0,0.0,0.07911802222804425,0.07630798420668478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48512525317008703,0.0,0.0,0.2479535226809524,0.0,0.102855416732836,0.0,0.09826162019263952,0.0702422946572219,0.18905600153666288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746009027327733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691960627846298,0.0,0.0,0.07668997593488594
mentalhealth,ThundaThighzzz,2018/02/19,"Help with anxiety Whenever I’m in large groups or around people that I don’t know, I feel very uncomfortable and trapped in my own body almost. I find it really hard to contribute to conversations and make small talk. I don’t know if I’m in the the right place to be asking this, but has anyone gone through this too? I want to know what I can do to fix this because I feel like I’m missing out on my fun college years because I can’t socialize.",4.197741935483869,4.608483344086022,5.300161290322585,84.6702419354839,70.39784946236558,9.210752688172043,28.403225806451612,9.2995712137729,2.1040193548387096,353,12,78,7,6,117,62,93,0.108,0.7709999999999999,0.121,0.4982,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,17,20,5,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,3,10,2,13,18,1,11,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,3,2,45,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22777722000563885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401306638642766,0.0,0.0,0.1590515259684729,0.0,0.0,0.2024955245111363,0.2126526916209813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773258292166412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25266664038771075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300301952490756,0.1625038093966074,0.0,0.0,0.2079024303512008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037674321159307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246759174243074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750328338084185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112980218634964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183724005666355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769827657924276,0.0,0.23765655957543444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457223856811475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942571759582225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318758717267345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18283086495907466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768564393410053,0.13416703569820695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648249732104374
mentalhealth,tylermclardy,2018/02/19,"Severe Psychosis symptoms? Last summer I went through a deep depressive stage (full body self harm, running into traffic every night for about 4 days) after a large dose of LSD (I don't want to blame the substance, just my vivid horrific thoughts). Since then I've been losing touch of my own reality about every week, auditory & visual hallucinations as well as non existing smells, people have said my speech has become cryptic, Leading into this I had an identity change over night, I had to keep looking in the mirror to remind myself of what I looked like, my name doesn't feel like my name anymore.

I often feel like I've reached the peak of my insanity, but it continues to prove itself to be more after every psychotic episode, I'm not a dangerous person so I don't worry about this. 

On a lighter note I'm no longer as depressed(maybe just slightly), I'm at a higher stage of creative thinking that I honestly feel that if I could motivate myself to follow through with these ideas (in music, photo, film, performance & fine art) these ideas could not go un-noticed in tomorrows world.

as the plane turns to sand around me, it forms an island below cushioning my fall
do the bears glow red?
I have seen moore",8.124024745269287,7.6317185458515295,7.723242358078604,73.68026382823872,62.231441048034924,10.602765647743814,34.803857350800584,9.928628108626363,3.335078311499272,973,36,172,17,12,308,152,229,0.07200000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.13,0.927,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,4,9,10,1,0,12,0,13,3,1,2,1,27,31,8,0,4,6,0,5,3,0,0,2,2,0,2,10,4,0,1,9,2,0,6,6,4,1,0,7,14,20,6,35,21,4,32,0,2,6,0,5,13,0,2,14,105,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940695081510771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458147010010496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080494211085953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987392391246787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073606658256844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355637625888434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669650589738704,0.0,0.0,0.08751757181491981,0.0,0.11688128017130475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430083146323161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058473970318739,0.1938933053887982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712346227984135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063856100097527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061956221091205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106165161549271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988937190437746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279136306137919,0.15181757563980391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633246907444613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546972025808475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407976407937864,0.11849111709181173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908516444571805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156841230805042,0.15330639997903206,0.0,0.11225538983508634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104796217399984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695336385526607,0.0,0.10773347097843967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476065085473248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004147755777262,0.0,0.10885321291937608,0.0,0.1220138006966529,0.12579856268045608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781355567920006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mydogshitonmyfloor,2018/02/19,"I think I'm a sociopath. I would like say before i ask some questions, that I'm not some edgy teen trying to sound cool, I have a legitimate concern/curiosity as to whether I'm a sociopath or not. I know I most likely am as I exhibit most traits. I will be seeing a therapist soon as to see if I really am. If anyone on here has any insight or is generally knowledgeable about the given situation, I would much appreciate your feedback. While I may realize you may not be able to give me a definitive answer I would just like some input on my situation.

Let me start by describing some of the traits that make me feel like I'm missing something. 

1. I lack empathy. Now can I still feel empathy? To a degree, but nothing normal. When a girl came crying to me at work, and was obviously looking for comfort, instead of feeling pity for her I questioned how she could feel that way, as I have never felt something like that. Regardless I hugged her to comfort her but at the same time was just doing it because it's what a normal person would do.

2. Extreme impulsivity. I'm very impulsive. It's almost astounding. I get bored, and I might go get drunk or do drugs. I see something I want, I might buy it even though I know i need money for gas. I'll go out on a whim for anything.

3. Manipulation. While I may not actively seek to manipulate others, I do so when it benefits me. 

4. Self charm. I'm really charming, and really charismatic, even though on the inside I feel no need to make good appearances. I often use this to get sex and immediately cut ties with whoever. 

5. Bad history of relation ship. Most of my relationships have lasted 2 weeks max. I go through a trend of being super nice and charming and then I have sex with said person. After this nothing matters, if they dump me oh well time for the next girl. A blaring example of this is a girl I dated awhile back. Super optimistic and overall kind of annoying. I charmed her and took her back to my house where I had sex with her, afterwards I through her her shorts and told her to leave. She obviously broke up with me. I felt no shame. However, I was missing sex so to get back with her i told her i loved her, she said yes and I eventually took her back to my house where i convinced her to let my friend bang her. After she left I broke up with her again. Still don't feel bad but can realize it's a shitty thing to do.

6. History of substance abuse. I've done drugs and been a problem child ever since I was young. They've been fun and one of the only ways I can briefly feel. Back when I lived with my mom I was doing ketamine a lot. She found it one day and I lied and convinced my way into telling her it was a legal neurotropic that i had purchased. It worked. 

7. Inflated ego. I often think of myself better than everyone. I feel as if my lack of emotion gives me an advantage over everyone. I view myself as generally more superior to the basic population. 

8. Pathological liar. I've lied a lot. And it's an addiction I can't kick. I even lie when there is no need to lie. When there is no consequence to telling the truth I'll lie.

9. Casual sex is better than romantic sex. Emotions and love turn me off. I do not like them but at the same time do because it gives me a sense of power, knowing I have the person wrapped around my finger tip.

All in all I'm sorry for the long post but I've recently noticed these traits and did some research on what they could lead to. I do not believe I'm psychopathic but I do believe I'm a sociopath. I have formed bonds with people and animals but very few. If any of you reading this is a sociopath I'd be very interested if you can tell me what I'm going through. Thanks.",1.6624254914394427,3.88189633868809,3.708081977030933,85.98391962587195,80.92771084337348,7.090882829563872,24.286778693722265,8.162531300603469,1.5541429718875506,2883,108,598,59,76,979,324,747,0.117,0.703,0.18,0.9954,2,0,5,0,1,0,85.0,0,4,3,9,37,49,4,1,33,2,61,15,1,7,7,132,126,54,0,22,25,1,11,6,1,10,4,4,0,8,26,30,1,0,23,3,3,9,13,14,1,2,23,21,108,35,78,85,20,68,0,5,5,9,56,20,0,30,41,412,134,7,0.06163952011267356,0.07303275196459927,0.0,0.06719617525770208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617230755826097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383397477165568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04309978565300968,0.0,0.05072407302524232,0.0548722412374321,0.05762463058176881,0.0,0.0,0.2369849309306812,0.10293284921921456,0.07514975868668909,0.0,0.05245069165070952,0.13889326253306106,0.0,0.10903029291437856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049919005337517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842828231313863,0.0,0.0677081184748889,0.039752391162404914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630786298595458,0.0,0.0,0.1429645481564733,0.0,0.0,0.13867232734833349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213696509478422,0.055756474871038166,0.0,0.1177984059425253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24933434743456204,0.04403528548465247,0.11836721135146536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675845522616406,0.047622540335610884,0.0,0.12881642072599767,0.17739073303802208,0.14012463905332326,0.05170030500328693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224746065927601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418807485243813,0.10162640472363417,0.050244435808986944,0.0,0.06526735175522007,0.06697151895722157,0.12606117104093387,0.0,0.1806837359677684,0.0,0.054428825547849474,0.05454903561713674,0.0517616725848121,0.0,0.0,0.10480743149939296,0.11126414693845617,0.0,0.08228971662785496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077958005390955,0.0,0.07219146097825997,0.0,0.0,0.04531213961689922,0.13711476939607226,0.04754019786677362,0.0,0.06555432892493768,0.0,0.12078728480222338,0.1182895639503217,0.07017700219226737,0.0,0.0,0.08353706814333313,0.046879632628842816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04273308210674854,0.16146375424578513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590336215308291,0.0,0.0,0.058980696148803836,0.0,0.0,0.13810073878614895,0.0,0.061656200642215775,0.0,0.11846356486289107,0.0,0.060861589864150925,0.06617777665457178,0.0,0.0,0.11726659787045755,0.049018220422779216,0.0,0.0,0.14735615110268713,0.0,0.0643034625573426,0.0,0.0,0.05098884800242892,0.13857080640259706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235934205167014,0.0,0.06900039626429824,0.043628769592619264,0.0,0.09845080076999037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162697235090512,0.056749388589046275,0.0,0.07156823371641162,0.040950558240161625,0.07899223118693023,0.12112103109952845,0.0,0.10782749960877001,0.0,0.0,0.1177984059425253,0.13696754971451258,0.041849188032140126,0.067046097648813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323675459295176,0.0,0.15257717851717312,0.036356585987352516,0.14677974594582915,0.04944350499584926,0.0,0.055421331190066016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974860953033549,0.0,0.0,0.1751477862552555,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrClean87,2018/02/19,"Looking for help with my Anger Management, Inland Empire Ca Usa Does anyone have any group therapy or affordable classes/therapy in the San Gabriel valley/inland empire area of SoCal? 

I have a violent temper. My fiance and friends are telling me I handley emotions poorly.  I dont want to hurt anyone but my emotions are too out of control and too extreme. I'm easily angered, way too boisterous when having a good time.  I need help. 

When do I decide if I need to be medicated or try something different.

Are there any Professionals here who can provide some productive input? Anyone in a similar boat who found success?",4.977345132743366,7.493824300884956,6.151513274336286,71.08585398230089,71.47787610619469,9.121769911504424,33.42389380530973,9.642632912329526,3.939581238938054,498,25,75,13,10,166,81,113,0.1,0.72,0.179,0.8914,2,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,4,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,0,15,16,8,0,4,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,10,3,9,14,1,8,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,4,3,49,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234872419675268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622499459692931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368831364886727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804259664517232,0.0,0.0,0.15112358289572514,0.0,0.20239326904342647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885096126602357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893474258568503,0.13342110176898958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484552077061855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23150307857556254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848699294774185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450174504972204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739686189079271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25609726644429776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294643061729086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094007007796714,0.0,0.39497578961186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069786070077663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172462606160156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018579799566956,0.13707455393639068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paulmc74,2018/02/19,"What would you say to your YOUNGER self? 9 years ago I lost my Dad to suicide. I made A LOT of mistakes in how I dealt with the grief. 

I recently shot this VLOG video sharing the lessons I'd tell my younger self: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj87795Ye3o

BUT what would you say to your younger self?",3.962969696969697,6.949743509090911,1.5013636363636393,100.6253787878788,77.54545454545455,5.121212121212121,25.53030303030303,6.42735559955562,0.5109393939393936,243,9,50,2,6,63,38,55,0.16399999999999998,0.8009999999999999,0.035,-0.7087,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,4,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,9,4,2,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,10,1,6,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,12,1,0,1,3,27,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212205580864056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365913075101772,0.1842599200295212,0.0,0.20507942279460564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399917011233915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447119444060817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6783040495657532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370723638027084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894355045498461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30792393847499233,0.0,0.0,0.1395699110414978
mentalhealth,Tuckered__Out,2018/02/19,"I’m a college student who struggles with reading and completing assignments I consider myself fairly intelligent, and I was a straight-A student until 11th grade. Then depression and anxiety started affecting my ability to complete work, so my grades suffered. I flunked out of of my first college after my freshman year, and although my grades are better now, it’s still difficult to get work done, even when I’m not particularly depressed. I know what needs to get done, I generally understand what to do on assignments, I want to do well, but it just doesn’t happen. I get distracted or start feeling overwhelmed by how much I have to do. Even though I desperately want to get good grades, it seems like I do everything I can to avoid studying or writing, no matter how much I say I’m going to force myself to start or keep going. Sometimes my emotions interfere so much that it feels physically impossible to work on homework. Once I get a rhythm going, I can generally finish a task, but starting is often the problem. Although I tested negative for ADD and ADHD, I asked to be prescribed a stimulant, but they don’t help much. Have you experienced anything like this? Do you have any advice on how to overcome this?",9.270072727272726,8.310459102222225,9.221939393939396,65.37763636363638,60.2,12.27070707070707,42.67676767676768,11.389717465364855,5.065355555555555,978,50,161,23,11,321,130,225,0.139,0.733,0.128,-0.7739,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,5,14,15,0,4,6,0,18,0,0,5,0,38,44,22,0,4,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,10,8,0,3,5,1,0,3,5,10,1,1,3,4,27,5,24,40,4,21,0,5,0,0,8,4,0,5,16,121,37,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431568033039665,0.11640082484400018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100439005102691,0.0,0.09112501744157901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802404353378492,0.0,0.1113593400505242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535027593132942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497861147942952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519248317358985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437983383679227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399182520457087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735275802973706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705566395514396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045937692755207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132179165295382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31117144385338985,0.0,0.20309267719712912,0.09991060745122304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533573894796458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984234888402722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587763691967464,0.0,0.0,0.0654641903845416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639016969015585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502620260171547,0.08832455888493622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685688470457612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397993067445847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915033110359073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472749103330157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844064088574447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781084284031555,0.0,0.3372496059410798,0.0,0.09512786538071408,0.0,0.0,0.12452809730825234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703292457852045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400613891863654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051787859348516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710147386176684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260158177853352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670814841929174
mentalhealth,AstoundedArtisan,2018/02/19,"Been Mentally and Physically Exhausted Lately I'm a student in one of the top high schools of my country. I'm in the grade that the upper years have described as intense, and I'm feeling it. Pretty much everyone in this school is being screwed over by the education system.

Context aside, I've been very fatigued lately and I think that my mental ability has been negatively affected. I find it hard to comprehend topics that my previous self might understand better. I was consistently in our equivalent of the honor roll, so there's a lot of pressure on me.

I will admit that I already had terrible habits, but recently, they got worse. Last week, I slept for four hours on average, and I only ate one meal last Thursday. Today, I ended up eating desserts for meals and my body unsurprisingly feels terrible.

My first question is: how do I take better care of myself?

I know that I have my responsibilities as a student, but I don't want to stay in the honor roll if it meant slowly killing myself.

Okay, so a bit more context is I want to go to Stanford. I know it's a very demanding dream of mine, but I was hoping to get into environmental engineering or something similar. I have been told that my performance in the first half of my high school years won't be looked at that much, so I want to take care of myself so I can spring back in time for the next school year.

My second question is: how do I bring this up with my therapist?

I've never been properly diagnosed with anything. A psychiatrist told me that I had anxiety, but that was only after one meeting, and I was desperate for some help. I was prescribed some medication, but I got off.

I have asked my regular therapist about depression, but we never got around a diagnosis because her style is to rehabilitate the mind to be better to yourself, and she isn't a psychiatrist. I don't want to push a diagnosis because it just feels wrong.

The thing is, I get episodes around every month or every other month where I become miserable and fatigued for no apparent reason, but the episodes last for one to three days, so I wouldn't fall under depressed by internet standards.

**Tl;dr: I'm a high school student and I want to take care of my mental and physical health better.**",5.829192037470727,6.769900777517568,6.772488290398126,73.66913056206091,66.98594847775176,10.034426229508195,32.580210772833716,10.125756701596842,3.3675634660421547,1780,74,321,42,28,594,208,427,0.136,0.7440000000000001,0.121,-0.6033,1,0,1,0,0,1,50.0,2,0,1,10,15,23,2,2,21,1,36,14,2,4,2,58,74,29,1,8,11,0,4,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,18,16,5,0,13,1,0,4,9,12,0,10,20,5,52,11,53,47,7,57,0,5,1,1,14,25,1,10,26,231,70,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034182879029945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055695418364305534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059912088553235925,0.12962328851216506,0.06806259364354245,0.0,0.0,0.05598234258765399,0.0,0.08876217402633785,0.08040710313791759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575594653379195,0.07948390774373418,0.08086964120180963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268782000752205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046953027181781584,0.0,0.12541321270956762,0.07389526734727435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449741342680989,0.0,0.0,0.06448338025301496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268224834944995,0.06956803848092494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043677546923054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654220328289757,0.12385533048924001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760749319342539,0.0,0.041376605242619005,0.0,0.17468577771724278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521873682470868,0.0,0.0,0.07738802236132125,0.0,0.0,0.04879947515110933,0.2307665801484278,0.0,0.07231152323437058,0.07169799261071465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054764565484754,0.0,0.0800231500352822,0.17803671361312315,0.1642538107917119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061137635970629,0.0,0.0,0.061895977023612075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334310496177007,0.22011012875159253,0.07723431217013754,0.07351202193482907,0.0,0.11622408008562385,0.0,0.10703970558173792,0.0,0.11230299045642904,0.0,0.07742865518004326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19733747412556754,0.11074255413222432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406858310517775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311591711701925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485538696148991,0.07188588660096695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684113627346508,0.0,0.0,0.0759512104065069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056048637255763964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760015407332996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422028650921636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906380344821906,0.048368226864748856,0.046650330579071635,0.0,0.0,0.042453022925425056,0.0,0.06901037020224245,0.13913607696184987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579229042390596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201430522081659,0.21471057717344996,0.0,0.058399562042652675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419423867254456,0.0,0.07960054201880012,0.0,0.1406515753229687
mentalhealth,Devina420,2018/02/19,"What is it? Have you ever felt it? I feel like I am saying weird things, but I don't know, what exactly is so weird about everything I say. What should I do? Except for the doctor.",-0.6492105263157875,1.504543026315794,1.6582105263157914,96.71047368421057,92.42105263157896,5.145263157894737,12.86315789473684,6.742157984588678,-0.6569115789473687,137,2,32,2,5,46,28,38,0.114,0.836,0.05,-0.2937,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,2,8,10,2,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,26,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647786810081001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223737574984946,0.0,0.0,0.3202989596442892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802007090697247,0.25460398056083233,0.3421888020740995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19586177227306664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411339525295585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5668288011439184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367686508531245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OverprotectiveParis,2018/02/19,"Over thinking constantly I’ve lately had a few issues with anxiety and depression, and the hardest thing at the moment is when I overthink things it can sometimes cause my mood to completely shift from feeling fine and happy to being so anxious and worried, and it can happen really quickly. For example, sometimes I read text messages and will literally think someone is annoyed at me over something like a full stop, or simply the way they’re talking when deep down I know it’s nothing. 

Does anyone have any advice or strategies they use to relax and not overthink so much? Thanks ",7.158692722371968,8.482767349056605,6.791185983827492,73.34424528301888,64.18867924528303,8.698652291105121,36.84097035040431,8.841846274778883,3.527829110512129,473,23,72,7,7,148,80,106,0.13,0.7340000000000001,0.135,0.1436,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,5,8,1,0,5,0,8,0,0,2,0,18,15,13,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,6,5,11,12,3,15,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,2,8,53,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908453378605482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462655179938467,0.0,0.1401972991741428,0.20703739761882997,0.0,0.12814321839940376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882637394454762,0.0,0.0,0.192149969616268,0.1980444659814282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784596129277054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037652320270207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266434059269148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206072187020373,0.1950891057665679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128114966731047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071770565551498,0.0,0.20673101422303874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953407033058385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472093457307308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584780525002236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331469321405303,0.0,0.11740431523884183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527992372896834,0.1410864267909935,0.36250773812428994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532178288950624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730154467833634,0.0,0.16872588078616066,0.0,0.0,0.2435063770568935,0.23485775113445706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828220412979474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546730535794786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611460401080288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lindsayswords,2018/02/19,"What is causing this underlying sadness? I’m blogging (🙄 I know) about my experience with depression. Do you ever have bad weeks when you don’t know how to escape the sadness and are crying without any reason? I had a hard time keeping my head above it this week, although I’m genuinely pleased and content with my life. Why is my body fighting me on this one? 
More on that here if you’re interested. I hope that we can all grow from each other’s experiences. [Nocturnal Renaissance (blog)](nocturnalrenaissance.wordpress.com)",4.794838709677421,7.951279075268817,5.166032258064514,74.58904838709677,75.45161290322581,7.590967741935482,29.730107526881717,8.548686976883017,2.741035268817205,426,19,70,9,10,135,73,93,0.198,0.7040000000000001,0.098,-0.8844,0,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,1,2,0,0,5,7,1,0,2,0,8,3,2,3,2,17,14,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,1,1,11,2,9,13,3,9,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,2,5,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254089952255208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501425833726214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328276791509644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532556570477174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23024498453467726,0.0,0.0,0.1805354074538756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896027977671752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100744710613021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18776795477750516,0.0,0.2151186900388856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818843610935664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863095765099372,0.0,0.0,0.2303905894001573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805261151118948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420360762931802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300870785659915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551234504303768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222434344679915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362704295890783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891389781596013,0.0,0.0,0.20205501734426404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sendlord,2018/02/19,"Antidepressants I am a few weeks off of Wellbutrin and I am getting weird side effects. Some of my muscles are twitching, I get headaches almost every night around 8 or 9, and my spelling is being weird, plus I can't understand things as well as I could I feel like. I have anxiety and depression, and things like cancer, migraines, and MS run in my family. I workout every day and eat well but I am under a lot of stress. Any idea of if it's the coming off the meds or should I go to see my doc",2.060784313725492,3.839754490196082,3.637843137254901,89.16696078431373,77.62745098039215,6.494117647058824,24.07843137254902,7.3871296695380915,0.9926784313725492,386,13,82,5,9,128,70,102,0.133,0.799,0.068,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,4,0,10,4,0,1,0,22,17,13,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,9,1,0,4,1,0,3,1,4,2,0,0,2,14,4,13,14,3,12,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,6,5,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960952966905856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331710061466109,0.0,0.14980929120234393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433007548579268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869006676425125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635419201613582,0.0,0.0,0.12629404587460802,0.0,0.16866795380309188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003828147744183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32999017168923633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846109442646556,0.0,0.09901745087600096,0.13990087646248922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20462601711312675,0.0,0.11129461068432417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106805229766932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913451356580684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648752659566296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175228049996179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377303848709015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605102790117348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22432241949932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602012875071989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038657692224902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708288496750206,0.0,0.352149087845039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SnowyHawaiian,2018/02/19,"11pm tomorrow marks 1000 weeks since my fiancee passed away... I still can't get over her and I've not been with anyone else for these 20 years... 11pm tomorrow marks 1000 weeks since my fiancee passed away...  I was 27 at that time. 

I still can't get over her and I've not been with anyone else for almost 20 years...   I remember her every single day.

What is wrong with me? :(  Do I need help?  If so, where can I get it?
",-0.463295454545456,1.6816128977272733,1.0731818181818191,101.61727272727276,90.47727272727272,4.563636363636364,13.681818181818182,6.11248444174946,-1.0392181818181818,317,5,78,3,11,101,51,88,0.079,0.889,0.032,-0.5913,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,12,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,0,12,0,10,9,1,18,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,10,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161234253474395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25363133516288355,0.3716628061330155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407995772792849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696638270559365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030168618042592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280909105251825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28426951797401545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156613596516955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448095508895805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545287916968766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000564713103231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28967902819957553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105756259490577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909625186582395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829578666562098,0.0,0.23358814791185464
mentalhealth,Ezpzjapanesey,2018/02/19,"Coping mechanisms for sleeping out of boredom? I feel fatigued a lot and always end up napping or sleeping extensively, but it's purely from being overwhelmed constantly.  However, the fatigue is a vicious cycle because I'll try and sleep it off, which leads to being less productive, which leads me to being overwhelmed again, etc. 

I need suggestions for how to avoid napping/sleeping too much.  ",9.234705882352939,10.128654823529416,8.392941176470586,65.16823529411766,59.58823529411765,10.329411764705883,43.470588235294116,10.125756701596842,5.040194117647058,320,18,43,6,4,100,52,68,0.172,0.779,0.049,-0.8181,1,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,1,3,3,0,4,5,3,3,1,13,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,3,0,10,3,4,8,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,35,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421131933080866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276290614688835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22625291075574866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543829941775453,0.0,0.2335011614763639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586297717768388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799756580723566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390989814252595,0.15524404990220986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8380785980432064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421474316117247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Squishy_Pixelz,2018/02/19,"Would using therapy books be a good alternative to therapy if it isn’t an option? Due to not wanting to tell people about my problems due to a serious lack of social skills, I haven’t been able to get a diagnosis or treatment. So I’ve been using the internet and therapist approved books.

Is this a good idea? It’s my only option unless I actually say something to the right person.",5.2868,6.21650274666667,7.251999999999999,69.78600000000003,68.2,10.266666666666666,32.33333333333333,10.355215969177356,3.6343333333333336,306,13,53,8,5,108,53,75,0.085,0.795,0.121,0.5661,0,1,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,2,0,14,11,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,4,2,9,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,4,2,36,7,2,0.20750766060201425,0.0,0.20249754340766005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841418810170383,0.0,0.0,0.3480951611573913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342508909004157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781892654113794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438596842103248,0.18118768529408966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198556806674426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772104083515253,0.0,0.16501842045836146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115279279278601,0.0,0.15974953503848058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18137084163653264,0.0,0.4746061887406928,0.24093238761048216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584399873144243,0.0,0.0,0.12239339456116778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740748840603393,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway668841,2018/02/20,"I react violently to cringe regardless of circumstances Coudnt think of a better word than violently, not trying to scare anyone. Immediately upon being exposed to cringy situations on tv my tension skyrockets and I immediately begin muttering to myself rather loudly. ""Shut up"", ""you fucking idiot"", ""it's ok Joe"" along with a slew of other things. I very litterally shut down completely when I'm exposed to these things and repeatedly make an ass out of myself in public. 


It bleeds over into real life situations as well. I was hanging out with a girl I liked and I just was so nervous and tense the entire time. Finally it got so unbearable that I just started hitting myself in the head with an open palm. That is very uncommon but does happen when I'm in a very extreme amount of distress because of awkwardness. That memory alone illicits the same kinds of responses now if I dwell on it for too long.


I had thought it was something akin to tourettes, but it's not random and has a very specific trigger. And when I'm stressed out about my social awkwardness because of this, the problem gets so much worse. Unsure if it's misophoria, but that's as close to a real diagnosis as I have. It puts a terrible burden on trying to interact with other people and I'm not sure what I can do about it.

The reason I wrote this now was because I was watching a movie - Kingsman golden circle - and the main character just yelled at the king and it caused me to again start muttering and yelling at myself alone in my own room. So it's been paused on the television for more than twenty minutes while I take a break and calm down a bit. I would be very open to any thoughts or recommendations anyone could offer.",6.9161609907120765,7.234239006191952,7.406563467492262,72.24006191950467,64.51083591331269,10.391331269349848,33.408668730650156,10.186864033877496,3.403189473684209,1361,53,240,29,19,448,181,323,0.161,0.797,0.042,-0.9893,0,2,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,1,0,2,18,22,4,8,20,1,16,6,3,5,1,55,34,28,0,7,13,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,1,23,23,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,15,1,0,11,4,24,7,51,18,7,42,0,0,1,2,7,25,2,4,15,176,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24525147404966197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051543279596766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655747758455937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165249361605023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047143624739641,0.12926112756764016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162846714751716,0.0,0.0,0.12413918015071194,0.0,0.0,0.09453202918496822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361183062148928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970040213002568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945803931671916,0.06185863126632904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946945582601948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469991323847908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151161167775673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232944195038065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362876993427898,0.05784380871145275,0.0,0.0,0.10477945781001836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903230363341182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703694515506748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208301252331349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329192704898433,0.0,0.11902377495963415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695281421659357,0.0,0.12173397103663387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853813149095364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266171047735257,0.0,0.12069294919171634,0.0,0.09114939433612357,0.0,0.0,0.16760695294113476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356257432788556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158972937400223,0.0,0.08902137135356437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573181722051839,0.07586534813431241,0.0,0.18799128450284056,0.06903945424635856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077040344301194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884581935728249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645498985467462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065877511654866,0.08410730763994183,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kodiak01,2018/02/20,"Establishing background with new therapist DW and I have been talking about seeing a therapist.  This has nothing to do specifically with our marriage (which has been going pretty well so far!), but rather just as a general outlet and sounding board for each of us.  She remarked how her sister and her fiancee see one semi-regularly, and others as well.  The tentative plan is for us to go individually with the occasional visit together, but not necessarily with the same therapist solo.

My question has to do with whether I should bring background materials for the therapist to get up to speed on my life more expediently.  I have kept a regular journal for the past 6+ years, currently 550+ pages and counting in a Word file.  While it does start at a particularly low point in my life, it is heavy in not only my day to day thoughts, but over time has retold many childhood stories and experiences with my family, school, friends, adversaries, work, etc.  The first quarter of it in particular would tell stories that otherwise take many months to retell in-session.  It chronicles everything right up to my present day marriage and new family and shows how far I've managed to come on my own.

The other paper I am wondering if I should bring is a copy of a workup I had in 2012 when I started to wonder if I actually had Adult Aspergers or something similar.  This report was the result of a full-day session talking about my life, their observations of me, a full MMPI-2 workup, IQ test, and other things I can't remember off the top of my head.

When a therapist is found, should I offer to bring these, and if so, do you think they will actually read them or just take them to humor me?

Thank you in advance for your input.",10.112277753206547,7.892489040247682,9.957083149049094,64.76796439628487,59.526315789473685,13.439097744360902,41.33768244139762,12.031772070788634,4.89805369305617,1372,59,246,34,14,453,185,323,0.018000000000000002,0.922,0.061,0.9053,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,3,3,4,5,13,6,0,0,19,0,25,4,1,3,0,50,45,28,0,8,14,1,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,1,13,18,0,1,7,2,0,8,3,1,2,3,8,3,34,5,46,32,7,47,0,1,2,0,25,20,0,8,19,179,47,8,0.0,0.0,0.18691496758585774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249717966976383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24705432379251155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380877400312943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680861283492896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607169697878933,0.09368121507413607,0.1805664379668568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146172025195338,0.0,0.10500661324752086,0.07399148929072989,0.0,0.050035753801916265,0.0,0.10885633837269718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828741699449338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293506940880304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941910369484493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644251935768108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849900876806028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189368041429853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489607693485842,0.07283722815216087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142308519841556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053339130263792,0.0,0.0,0.0974322893094494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728406404746392,0.0,0.09579568996898373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848848395664794,0.0817868631280615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692412349208757,0.1526322199445906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372825038045355,0.0,0.0,0.13557267694374034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401390166485792,0.15395223218120704,0.08370700309500605,0.08817194018736556,0.0,0.5559804413273324,0.06362518190174286,0.06136540372194356,0.0,0.07603050241923286,0.055844124976133835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303984909372138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172217055382968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077164677754796,0.06972153558087309,0.0,0.0,0.06803209918912102,0.0,0.0,0.06167259407513145
mentalhealth,GillianPotter,2018/02/20,"Research Opportunity! Looking for Participants for a Study on Mindfulness Meditation in Inflammatory Bowel Disease My name is Gillian Potter and I'm a graduate student in clinical psychology at the University of Saskatchewan in Canada. I'm conducting research with adults who live with Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis and have experience with Mindfulness Meditation (at least a weekly practice). Mindfulness meditation is described as a practice of using an intentional, nonjudgmental, and accepting quality of attention towards present-moment experiences of the body and/or mind.

In this study, you will be asked to take part in an individual interview about how mindfulness impacts different aspects of your life. Some of the questions will include, “What role does mindfulness play in your life?” “How has mindfulness impacted your experiences with your illness?” This information will be used to better understand the processes of mindful living in the context of IBD. Participant names will not be used in this research, and any personally identifying information will be changed. 

All that would be involved is a telephone or Skype interview. If you fit this profile and are interested in participating, please send me an email (gillian.potter@usask.ca). Your help would be greatly appreciated, and would work to inform medical and psychological interventions in chronic illness! 

This study has been approved by, and received approval through, the Research Ethics Office, University of Saskatchewan. There are no conflicts of interest in this research to be declared in this research. I would be pleased to provide any additional information you may need!

Thanks everyone, Gillian",11.084367816091957,13.698124582375481,9.957720306513412,49.4968103448276,56.049808429118784,13.61609195402299,49.74904214559386,12.745084868956482,7.809936398467434,1400,92,167,51,18,440,152,261,0.036000000000000004,0.821,0.14300000000000002,0.9822,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,8,0,5,4,8,0,0,14,0,27,10,2,6,1,50,38,14,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,2,10,13,0,1,8,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,11,8,41,19,4,20,0,0,1,0,28,17,0,6,1,123,21,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520068493217162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605870397356008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141488810721875,0.0,0.1022520027532752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738165067769633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617755294783736,0.0,0.0,0.08055767515874475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796219640124127,0.0,0.2701414374157398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149061515587464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170231490278898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300418927429662,0.0,0.0,0.16257194668881264,0.0,0.07730275080604171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273541045853988,0.0,0.0,0.7435919197930869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825738248112241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968625315390116,0.0,0.0,0.0803786001970129,0.0,0.20209680117773368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312231486553963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921366674703912,0.0,0.0,0.08475158597911052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583217353175108,0.0,0.2385170746141347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384071562619672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701690702077462,0.0,0.0,0.2615720280857501,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thecheesemonste3,2018/02/20,"Therapy and how it could change? Is it just me or does therapy not work when it needs to? 

Backstory: I see my therapist every 1-2 weeks and talk to her online as well. (Thats all the backstory you need)

But when I need someone to just talk to me, she never seems to be online. Theres no way I can find someone, and my problem gets worse. I know there are suicide hotlines out there, but there arent any hotlines to just find people to talk to that are readily available. I feel like that should exist.

Anyone else get this?",1.9546226415094343,3.9843521981132106,3.2383396226415115,90.72505660377364,78.90566037735849,6.504150943396226,22.864150943396226,7.554174236665415,0.9302445283018864,407,13,86,6,10,132,68,106,0.084,0.87,0.046,-0.457,1,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,1,11,3,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,25,17,10,1,6,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,12,2,10,14,1,6,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,5,59,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727304647254088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030003818630936,0.16162995665569332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687490718410505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594776439443733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804504720889604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177698018520112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290825100521353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797613828772901,0.11269414909869807,0.0,0.0,0.2883549323671307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648320973042826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669336480386433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706698411193531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509011488375619,0.12166384497375485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093615784110962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094212045144784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570355704680072,0.14360651196707716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673162377347018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254909523585196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803720447916842,0.0,0.0,0.3607937985493761,0.18315587403149125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521184918136746,0.12653474736541576,0.0,0.14183307072139711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484134907377318,0.0,0.16075718580805556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ArnDogg,2018/02/20,"Accessing mental health services...face-to-face or online? Hey - I'm currently studying my Masters of Clinical Psychology in Australia, and am conducting a study that investigates attitudes towards, and intention to use, mental health services using online (video-based) technology. I'd really appreciate hearing anyone's thoughts or opinions about this! If you are 18years or older, and you're interested in participating in this study, access the relevant survey from the links below: 
[Members of the general public access this survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/VideoDMH-consumer)

[Health care professionals (including GPs, nurses, psychologists and psychiatrists, etc.) access this survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/VideoDMH-clinician)

Your participation would be GREATLY appreciated!",13.961909090909094,17.647218963636362,11.977954545454551,33.67693181818183,50.27272727272727,14.227272727272727,48.29545454545455,13.023866798666859,8.312999999999999,666,38,61,24,8,207,82,110,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.93,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,3,0,16,10,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,10,7,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,5,2,35,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426739974325751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080389187073672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22756568955873654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496189248904366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6506753913692408,0.2299751389423389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112615874588375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307173581262081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199006101942154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35246117691924217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494871858346786,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyBelovedPolarBear,2018/02/20,"Feel like I’m losing it This is a vent on a throwaway account but I can’t sleep and don’t know where else to turn. I want to call a mental health hotline but I’m not actively suicidal or anything so I feel like I’d just be wasting the time of whomever answered.

Anyways, I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been living abroad for several years and the longer I’ve been away from home the more homesick I’ve gotten, and the more I’ve isolated myself. In part this is because of my job... I work an additional part-time job that requires me to live alone and I never thought I’d miss having roommates but so many days I don’t interact with anyone outside of work or transactions and I think that’s starting to take an unexpected toll.

I’ve also been in this relationship that has become steadily, increasingly one-sided. She no longer cares how much she sees me and has told me as much. But I still try to hold on to her. And then I hate myself for caring so much, and if I try to confront her about being unhappy she tells me my happiness is for me alone to determine, and intellectually I agree with her. She went through a major depression before and got through it on her own, and she had a much tougher upbringing than I did. But what if I’m just not as strong? Or what if there’s something chemically imbalanced with my brain that makes it not so simple? My family has a history of anxiety/depression, and here I am 8,000 miles away from home in a place where people don’t really speak my language and I’m working a job I don’t really love. I just feel trapped by everything and I don’t know how to escape it, because returning home would be admitting defeat. Sometimes I think about ending it all but I would never do that to my family. I don’t wanna go on anxiety meds because I’ve got an addictive personality and I’m terrified of the pharmaceutical industry. I can’t go to a therapist or counselor for professional reasons. I don’t wanna confide in my friends because I don’t wanna use them as free psychiatrists, I would feel guilty. I don’t wanna talk to my family because I know my parents would blame themselves for me feeling so rotten, even though they did everything right. And so on and so on. Meanwhile my anxiety and dare I say depression just keeps getting worse.

I just don’t know where to turn. On paper I’m living my best life and being my best self, and I’m in the prime of my life, but I’ve never felt so alone. ",3.141951219512194,4.918367666666672,4.703414634146341,82.714756097561,74.5691056910569,8.133333333333335,27.040650406504067,8.841846274778883,2.1158918699186997,1940,74,388,41,41,651,213,492,0.159,0.718,0.123,-0.958,4,4,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,2,9,29,20,2,0,18,0,36,7,2,5,4,83,81,50,1,12,22,1,6,2,1,4,4,2,4,2,15,24,0,3,17,0,2,5,20,9,0,0,13,10,60,12,57,60,13,38,0,6,1,1,26,21,0,7,14,266,75,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919905683095424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257299945637974,0.0,0.0580980564574898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115386832061894,0.0,0.0,0.050798462267291115,0.0,0.05978463397383876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365138456256802,0.0,0.0,0.22143336232434552,0.08023604828474082,0.06181966894598305,0.0,0.15248306472977946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110125608167244,0.07418361660250662,0.0,0.14814272190107367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04685314119090079,0.0,0.187719620490172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068962500564564,0.0,0.06434620089060712,0.0,0.0,0.09596907763083186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058599612203606,0.0,0.20546343045194498,0.0,0.1836697278216306,0.10380213053172366,0.0697552462085389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612909163371091,0.0,0.0379565465843572,0.0,0.08257716461718605,0.0,0.11620943878998025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733711312879496,0.0,0.07172668324137599,0.0,0.0772233901797595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862116036534365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162812894972204,0.0645745221382966,0.0,0.0,0.1996322799714237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262947099932901,0.07098609118976702,0.0,0.1924534379199861,0.0,0.0,0.08127659576473031,0.0,0.0,0.06556932342377918,0.0,0.04849433705726868,0.07365554208874696,0.0,0.0,0.08069760236366734,0.0,0.07321395842429833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362398719201486,0.0,0.16809612235365362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922941657022956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806690576460363,0.15734540941066755,0.0,0.0503662564923483,0.06343504422986943,0.07590362746070069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308270468264138,0.07469614260711706,0.0,0.07799874731130435,0.0,0.062042572449259724,0.0,0.057774074344669676,0.0,0.0,0.05789252211064755,0.0,0.07578963484119397,0.08207364823691067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270231392480532,0.0,0.0,0.05592940162803467,0.07185255640806303,0.0,0.10284387137151543,0.0,0.05801826171900833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946714115173903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054623643614697286,0.058393195150863976,0.06349916851439237,0.0,0.0,0.08435207193950245,0.0,0.09310217706565796,0.07137810588688089,0.05767586351016806,0.04236271006350086,0.0,0.0,0.06942004222010033,0.0,0.09864895460420882,0.15804434337573145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274614196913647,0.0,0.0,0.04285076209693597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734713608536136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866986177633904,0.0,0.07403640081858125,0.2064334677419879,0.0,0.0,0.046784119596919686
mentalhealth,TCB13,2018/02/20,"Advice for going out with friends? I'm having an issue going out with my friends. I have fun when I go, but the issue is getting me to go. I get irritable and just don't want to drive to go meet them or do anything or have some BS reason as to why I don't want to go. Does anyone have any advice on things to help me push past these barriers? My girlfriend is good about encouraging me to go out, but sometimes I just can't get out of my own head.",3.5025085910652933,3.4031611237113424,5.0696391752577314,87.51036941580757,71.78350515463917,7.703780068728522,25.445017182130584,7.1686216300943375,0.8993037800687285,347,9,81,3,6,118,58,97,0.065,0.757,0.17800000000000002,0.9152,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,10,1,1,1,0,18,23,7,0,2,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,18,23,2,16,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,3,2,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127816330572581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883378807204937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119048202232287,0.0,0.1317006149074268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005349811869836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247295513612739,0.0,0.2508454192649089,0.0,0.6366873763505814,0.13423531577296627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424887173049446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727252278728423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33408373744595266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277783314625012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645494378517894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828525212270111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632453940257916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879338526645015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444126670600196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ignoramu5,2018/02/20,"It appears to be impossible to find a satisfying job. What to do? Hello all. I just came home from work, and I feel exhausted. Again. I currently work as a technical recruiter (since last October), and because I do not experience any job satisfaction, I’ve decided to quit. 

Why this post? I’m mainly writing this because the activity in itself helps me to feel slightly better. Also, I hope to come into contact with individuals who can relate to my experiences and have suggestions to cope with it. 

I have studied philosophy and graduated in 2014. It was a great study, and although I wasn’t so naïve to think that getting a job was going to be easy, I didn’t expect it would turn out like this. I’ve had several jobs in the past, and none of them provided any satisfaction. People tell me that jobs aren’t supposed to give you satisfaction. Why not, I ask? Why must we continue wasting a large part of our lives to doing things that are simple, imposed, demarcated and repetitive? How isn't that undignified? 

There have been several reasons why past jobs have been difficult for me. For one thing, I’ve have experienced difficulties with authority telling me what to do. For another, I generally find the usual topics that are discussed during lunch breaks boring, to say the least. I have no interest in discussing sports, cars, gossip, music or material wealth. I’m generally confronted with the fact that most people do not care to talk about ethics, politics or other such subjects. It makes me feel like an outsider, and that, in turn, makes me more of an introvert (which, naturally, I’m not).  

I look at my colleague’s and I feel jealous and flabbergasted at the same time. They say they feel satisfaction with the work, but how can one feel satisfaction by doing the same, repetitive tasks every single day? How can they feel satisfaction when the company they work for has made more profit this year? I want to experience what they do, but this has been impossible for me. I’m turning into a sceptic more and more because I cannot see how they can experience the satisfaction they purport to feel.

I hate to admit this, but I’m convinced that Ted Kaczynski has a point. I’ve read his manifesto again, and I generally think that his arguments are valid and sound. That doesn’t mean that I respect him: I strongly condemn his actions of the past, and I consider him an evil individual because of that. But the truth of one’s words and the morality of one’s deeds are separate things. Can anyone here relate to this? What have you done that made you feel better? 

Thank you for your time to read this and I hope to learn from your suggestions. 
",5.029823165340408,7.0000519594320485,5.974888438133874,74.74066729078902,69.97363083164299,9.6000208040776,30.288084464555048,9.97462318616391,3.218153523690644,2108,87,378,56,39,695,231,493,0.08199999999999999,0.777,0.14,0.9814,8,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,2,6,8,8,14,25,5,0,23,0,43,2,0,9,4,82,83,31,0,6,11,0,9,2,0,2,1,3,1,0,37,27,1,0,18,3,2,6,12,9,0,4,12,15,51,16,54,67,13,35,1,0,2,0,39,11,0,6,18,266,88,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057248427452971776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736378989253833,0.07506564322527677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005558290851627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692456656004113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745560874377053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662649671749315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187692813858677,0.07298813750891023,0.0,0.0,0.06166621659113599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461679584130966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325877701829404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031548208696011,0.0,0.0,0.2801049016418579,0.0,0.0,0.3257707178751363,0.051142061383390745,0.0,0.0,0.13085919516910974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037401468069587857,0.06867316863455708,0.04068477592979482,0.0,0.0,0.0789253743735861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067774848872486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047983533215756984,0.0,0.07180801104203087,0.14220490553450255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262367613029023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835329536384237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994798689386314,0.0,0.0632129962723677,0.0,0.060115396266979065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547548015015726,0.09557030669121827,0.0,0.0,0.07797967815576556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19403793206990055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077522190972909,0.20501485490206375,0.09925939546668792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767324336597555,0.0,0.06856095203619744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614202445143826,0.14321356899161436,0.0,0.0,0.07360378232599378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385836654289774,0.0,0.0,0.057045898851126015,0.0,0.0,0.16174679785818485,0.0,0.059217846908644386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057539250022717474,0.1251411067315172,0.06590807082884532,0.0,0.0,0.1426784865922387,0.0917406459776665,0.0,0.0,0.0834863911689066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335996419962439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884342044251838,0.0,0.04222411031952415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583860182123692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084659539347873,0.0,0.0,0.050853643488658604,0.0,0.0,0.04609994619450188
mentalhealth,apologiesto,2018/02/20,"I just need to write this to rehearse saying it I’m writing this because I want to rehearse it before I go to my psychiatrist on March 5. The last time I went into a place for treatment I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, I made up a bunch of easy problems that were easy to solve because I wanted to go home and stop talking.

For my entire life I've had incredible difficulty doing the most basic things. When I was a kid I couldn't sit down next to the other kids in class and I would stand up for the whole day. I couldn't walk up or down stairs. I would crawl up them and scoot down them on my butt. This wasn't a physical problem. I knew how to do it right, I just had to do it the weird way. I wet the bed until I was 12. I needed to have someone read to me in order to sleep until I was 15.

As an adult I feel like I'm barely functioning. It takes me so much mental effort to talk on the phone, to take a shower, to send an email, to do anything at all. I used to think it was just terrible anxiety, but I don’t think it’s that. When I finally manage to say, hold a phone conversation, afterwards not only do I feel completely drained, I can’t control my movement. I twitch and wave my arms around, I make weird squawking and barking noises, sometimes I lose my balance.

I feel completely disconnected from everything. Nothing feels real and I'm getting scared. I'm just writing this so I'll be able to say it out loud when I have to. I don't want to lie again",2.7513239831697054,3.778426670967743,4.321360448807855,88.08682328190744,74.2258064516129,7.197755960729313,25.09116409537167,7.586124646067393,1.0793394109396917,1148,36,254,14,23,385,166,310,0.083,0.8759999999999999,0.041,-0.9146,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,3,12,8,0,1,15,0,24,5,3,5,1,48,50,17,0,12,7,0,5,1,0,2,2,5,3,3,16,9,0,3,7,1,0,7,8,7,0,0,11,10,41,1,46,33,5,44,0,1,0,1,19,19,1,2,15,167,57,3,0.11857391857253748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070872315690394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951524636651378,0.1055559266601451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456312039699326,0.0,0.10089767132346268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24864499532019774,0.0,0.13299073222404584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647036810375017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656659232259047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398181439115701,0.08470923112040997,0.0,0.12989193194886367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061949978496140465,0.0,0.13477658092359773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189393082546305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665356948671247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837522653351575,0.05792922721456808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265388484893462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121975087507444,0.07914901138873613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949462103783258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716547344074735,0.1758421163537396,0.0,0.0,0.12610470759367096,0.0,0.0,0.11377487282661815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018080821982206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388450773620603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691845263285595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860600635888092,0.13496307846996508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101261478584063,0.0,0.377178957029957,0.11871317787845133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865955123845512,0.0,0.10046729641960143,0.0,0.11727263739548675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913310531525127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783056601206147,0.1906104484967975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787752427240347,0.15195475843259065,0.0,0.0,0.06914140546584067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240979476530557,0.0,0.0,0.2098139079551383,0.09411845740127167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991921045799843,0.0,0.13238354556748422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846301940401395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zumbaclassexpertlvl,2018/02/20,"I think the most infuriatingly stupid thing about my life is that it doesn't take much from abusive people to toggle the darker side of me on. I hate that because I'm a very sensitive person and I love being kind to people. I don't want to just be another bleeding corpse walking around making everyone feel bad. I can't help it sometimes. When people make a mockery of you, or try to make you angry, how do you keep your heart floating so that you don't just burn your day away? How do you keep the bullshit from infecting you so that you don't hurt other people or cause unnecessary ruckus? It's almost impossible sometimes. I scream at night because I can't take it.",5.82874060150376,6.071542203007523,6.33134398496241,79.28092575187972,66.81954887218045,8.755263157894738,29.406954887218053,8.472884824447931,2.0239481203007514,535,17,104,7,8,174,83,133,0.235,0.695,0.071,-0.9722,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,9,0,0,9,7,2,0,5,0,11,5,1,6,0,19,24,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,10,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,0,2,18,2,13,22,2,9,0,1,0,1,12,5,0,4,3,69,28,1,0.0,0.1829630733783127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462985171954316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619233866578372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746700801885708,0.0,0.0,0.14508316826180825,0.0,0.12893468983520376,0.18826663987165604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863241824693974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995884649771377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755543102605298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807965823250798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152458300561015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298906791558928,0.10350482415486616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531036787778242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745121190565587,0.0,0.16080521592465646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907178492681063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937055453246347,0.0,0.3092307024585514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135168551456703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491320378859918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4282230000571988,0.13483404783618685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30545169930898386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322100367563999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025901364884802,0.09894643842790224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048414013545419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741310694150398,0.09108122768005862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,somewhereglass,2018/02/20,"I feel guilty over things I can't control This has been a thing for me for as long as I can remember but a recent incident made me feel really guilty.

Our small canteen hired a cook. He cooked really well and was very clean. But we soon observed that he was having auditory hallucinations and delusions. This went on for around 3 weeks and we tolerated it because he was functional and respectful, but we learned that he was completely different to our staff, and it came to a point where he had the tendency to become violent.

We wanted to get him therapy but we didn't have the resources to. Also it would be a problem to convince him to get therapy. The government funded centers here also are not very conducive for recovery (I won't specify what country). We paid him and let him go. We gave a little extra just to help out even a bit. He was not remorseful or apologetic. Instead, his tone suddenly became sinister and threatening. But he seemed like he was used to it.

I feel guilty because he needed help, PROFESSIONAL HELP, but we could not give it to him. I feel guilty that he didn't realize that he had a problem. My manager keeps telling me that our safety is priority, and that he has family to go home to, and that he's had many jobs so he's able to take care of himself. I understand really.

Still, it just really sucks knowing that you can help, but at the same time, you can't. And I know that someone out there with the resources and time is willing to take the risk to help him out, but I just can't help but be frustrated with how we can't be in control of what we want to be in control of.

I also couldn't help but think that psychology should be more of a vocation and lesser of a profession. I sought advice from 2 psychologists who said that psychologists rarely do home-service, and if they do, it's expensive. I understand that it's a service, but what about those who can't afford it or aren't educated enough to realize they have a problem and won't even think about seeking help on their own? But I guess I'm just being too ideal. Our social workers aren't trained either to deal with mental illnesses.

And these are things I can't control. And I feel guilty.",4.923692528735632,5.814081449074077,5.8983588761174985,79.30666666666669,69.0,9.84750957854406,30.405810983397192,10.004066432519934,2.9197543742017884,1734,67,342,42,29,574,197,432,0.123,0.745,0.132,0.3586,3,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,14,2,3,6,22,13,3,1,18,0,47,3,0,7,0,94,81,38,0,12,23,0,5,1,0,5,1,1,2,0,33,34,2,5,16,2,3,4,16,7,1,0,18,6,46,6,45,49,7,27,0,0,0,0,57,15,1,5,9,248,79,9,0.08303717126287177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114296272197333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992143875752447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392068732659432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123737775737568,0.09170803176062632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065508458025323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949724025698932,0.08466193023985852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706289422082547,0.0,0.372532993461194,0.06629842445728185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560767742206622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675617040871282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579959514958498,0.0,0.1096905369538261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828005494764494,0.0,0.20993044389170212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676698950399127,0.07965682110437672,0.09438387604210544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147480583951888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452645243924385,0.0,0.1665861064275342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240157963268174,0.07380725314599536,0.0,0.0,0.09127011543287747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491113355676454,0.0,0.040567767509506886,0.0832250602530126,0.0,0.07348528354024865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857177920373543,0.0,0.08418665846116419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368193808185892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157101033124281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849696682910651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23836607545090105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21278295279714368,0.0,0.08198918894310253,0.0,0.09406492791170754,0.0,0.07898736519187627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559392205967183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464593898494185,0.0703571257452255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631359223401627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486723737241873,0.0,0.07257814769522668,0.0,0.1899204842006552,0.0,0.16549862060976786,0.106413732902454,0.0,0.0,0.09683928466124583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288924749555887,0.0,0.07171745497910675,0.0,0.13702872529590315,0.09795495005952833,0.0,0.06660741006211758,0.0,0.07466038932869039,0.07697628967450203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898722401231105,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tcarullo25,2018/02/20,"My friend has trouble sleeping...practically every night Note: i apologize in advance for the lower case at the start of sentences i turned off auto capitalization on my phone.  
  
  
Hi! my friend (f/16) barely goes any nights sleeping and i feel so bad for her because she doesn’t want to ask for melatonin or any pills to help her fall asleep.  i’ve tried convincing her, but she won’t ask. apparently when she has a headache she won’t even take advil or tylenol, she’ll just let it pass. Sometimes when she’s texting me that she can’t sleep she freaks out saying that she won’t be able to get any sleep and other times she tells me how she just lays down and still no matter how tired she should be (because of the amount of days she went with little to no sleep) she still can’t fall asleep. i told her things like listen to calm music, count to 100, think about other things, but she’s tried everything. What do you guys think is wrong with her? Is it *mandatory* to take drugs at this point or is there still a different method? Thank you!",3.81625,5.4093488780487835,3.566875,92.31031250000002,72.41463414634146,6.685975609756098,22.568597560975608,7.1686216300943375,0.4803231707317068,820,20,176,8,16,246,123,205,0.1,0.792,0.107,-0.6586,3,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,1,13,10,0,0,5,0,17,11,6,2,0,21,32,13,0,2,7,0,1,1,2,5,5,2,0,1,10,6,0,0,3,0,0,5,8,4,0,0,2,3,31,6,23,22,1,24,0,0,0,0,35,9,0,3,11,107,41,0,0.12322453163566907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25139072118448624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303966059806148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288733682365868,0.15023306151270358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794696287938506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874340855464506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290133549777867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138864098712321,0.0,0.10382198253352154,0.0,0.11074626347047173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230602567789944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040593494010186,0.0,0.06437973187465112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220116596525783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259480609374087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600543231491812,0.0,0.06020128184567465,0.1235033529449392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312757509627515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164870120842165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799309342723188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49325409167488893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121872212630792,0.0,0.08721895772491021,0.0,0.2952218104195856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852990246156908,0.0,0.10770367199066146,0.113448592992177,0.0,0.0,0.1637298067908087,0.15791460856724984,0.0,0.0,0.07185321534219226,0.1416284720543141,0.0,0.11774632064917365,0.0,0.1673227366198533,0.13403290560459186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268102139624406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423037536001993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347266812325545,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sufferer1,2018/02/20,"Is my friend really suffering from severe depression? Hey all. My friend is suffering like me with severe depression, so we were told. He is 22 years old, weighs about 167 pounds, and has been diagnosed with severe depression. I am very very very worried that maybe he doesn't have severe depression but not sure. He told me he has texted his parents things like ""I'm scared...plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz help me....I need help omg....when will this suffering end? I'm scareddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd"" tons of times ever since he has had this illness. He also seems very nervous like and bizzare when he tries to carry on with conversations with other people. For instance, people will ask him questions and he will respond and carry on conversation like a normal person at first and then all of a sudden he will just stop like mid-sentence unable to carry on with what he has to say. He has told me that he has to stop a lot during when he talks because otherwise he will get into weird states where he will start feeling extremely uncomfortable and everything will easily make him startle and it will take him like a day or two for him to snap out of these weird states that he has no control over. He also supposedly yells and has tons of anger outbursts with his parents because of how much he is suffering and does really odd things like not being able/wanting to fully shut car doors or not being able/wanting to lift the toilet seats when he has to go to the bathroom. All these things that he has trouble doing make him feel extremely uncomfortable and make him feel extremely worse so that is why he refuses to do them. Other examples of this are him not cleaning up his dishes in his house after he eats. He also talks very little and moans like all day and he is unable to function, work a job, or go to school. His father yells at him a lot and tells him that doctors will probly think he is psychotic and is not dealing with severe depression if his son ends up getting more opinions about his diagnosis from more doctors, especially if his father shows all the doctors all the strange texts that his son has sent him ever since he has had his illness. Also, if he does things too fast, he will often times get this weird dizzy type of feeling. He has seen like 6 or 7 doctors for his issues and none have been able to help him at all. He has also had counseling and his counseling has not helped him at all and even his counselor has told him that she can tell that counseling is not helping him at all and so asked him if he would like to stop counseling if he doesn't think it is doing anything for him. He even had to go to one of the best hospitals in the world/country to get evaluated/diagnosed. Im so scared and worried about him omg. Even though his parents love him, they threaten him all the time that they will have to eventually send him to some mental institute like place or a group home if he doesn't get better or try harder. He can't try any harder and he can't help it that he hasn't gotten any better. He has also been on like 6 or 7 meds and none of them have helped him at all. Plz plz plz, doctors what are your advice? I really don't want him to be put in like a mental institute or group home for the rest of his life. Also, ever since he has had this illness, he has had no joy/happiness, no motivation, no energy, no desires/interests, and is scared as hell to wake up and live through every day with this illness. Omg, im so scared for him. I and his family and other people have said they have never seen anything like him before- that is how messed up his brain is from his illness. What should he do? Should he get reevaluated at another high end place like johns hopkins or mayo clinic in order to get second opinions about his diagnosis- should he try something besides medicine? Omg, he basically has just spent most of his time just sitting and staring on the couch every day for over a year.",7.957927503583862,6.763675909208821,7.489950508567138,77.50110638951466,62.92996108949417,10.60606184722507,32.870537238036725,9.549672527348893,2.7581911802853427,3150,97,612,48,38,991,280,771,0.189,0.696,0.115,-0.9974,4,0,1,0,0,0,72.0,1,1,5,7,34,43,2,5,18,0,82,19,2,7,16,112,121,62,0,13,26,7,4,15,2,15,13,4,5,1,33,37,3,5,9,1,1,7,22,21,0,4,20,11,60,22,82,83,24,71,1,9,3,1,137,30,1,24,45,389,93,10,0.04853158601321672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047424504168646624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27167484260553226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600628541596827,0.05088959948179446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987472025951367,0.0,0.0907409632796264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916880875952265,0.0,0.04129680517703673,0.0,0.050930905359954655,0.08584448790237126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417730034989809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443230043834277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519543224234947,0.05003393416483575,0.20900091959576966,0.09851707644310988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483706737195365,0.08494063593750555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965992841525122,0.0,0.0,0.12895374080943872,0.0,0.0,0.09616396454832277,0.13169879410406932,0.0817799087325527,0.0,0.043617060173948174,0.0,0.04575126009271493,0.0,0.09815611239713183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04128094227046993,0.0,0.0,0.07499076593201387,0.0,0.17749025437193314,0.0,0.08274485622644888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051662775752244164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277078937191209,0.05127628519193269,0.09736227558981934,0.0,0.0,0.0559989342837851,0.0,0.0,0.10484488191249307,0.05065436689590482,0.048160110571547364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03427929445064608,0.35565122251439074,0.04864139889035687,0.04285427958954385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251963784499501,0.043801651176552735,0.0,0.09718563155329094,0.0,0.04875650123879542,0.0,0.05390765139778207,0.0,0.09781684790094228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03567629983557065,0.03598555608730671,0.037430551010767636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755065006157256,0.0,0.0,0.05092573562937978,0.0,0.03288625868987375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166574882507387,0.0,0.0,0.10093707313502144,0.0423759089562036,0.10141035592454788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048787648457284616,0.05436648331003738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327173016704897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046164651919939806,0.03859426511294009,0.14576575200858852,0.04911655602309505,0.0,0.044181333187535234,0.0,0.2741343911409429,0.0,0.12043748838511426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037361985951742456,0.0,0.0,0.034350906370857144,0.0,0.0,0.1217237370228566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045740445469728205,0.0,0.03648971285153763,0.07801570098723759,0.08483749058358812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896891707714775,0.062194161395428875,0.047682036849664405,0.0,0.11319663233993195,0.0,0.0,0.18549604084422575,0.0,0.1317990448240039,0.0,0.047408307619655865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021820549880254,0.028625186840630926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379220777160881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035331572626021504,0.09857236275133482,0.04945783231685555,0.034475446264561865,0.0,0.0,0.06250550044392364
mentalhealth,divinemissjay,2018/02/20,"What’s your favorite flavor of happy pills? Chronically depressed and just starting to investigate options. Thanks! Some days go by and I haven’t done anything. I literally stare at my computer or TV, eat, sleep, repeat. I only get out of bed if I have to go to the bathroom. I’ve been unemployed for almost two years and it feels like all my hopes and dreams have vanished. I’m OK with giving up my career goals but don’t know what to do instead. My friends and family have slowly stopped checking in on me. I’ve stopped using social media. I cry unstoppably. I never leave home. Everything in political news sends me into panic attacks. I’m 40 years old and I have nothing. My roommates moved out and I can’t find replacements so I’m giving up the apartment and staying with a friend until who knows when. Anyway that’s the landscape.

My therapist and I have started talking about anti-depressants and SSRIs. I have an appointment with my new primary care doctor (he’s the worst but thank you for Medicaid I guess?). I’ve never been medicated and don’t want to lose my spark but it’s dying out anyway so I feel like I need to change SOMETHING. Cuz what’s happening now isn’t working. 

What have been your positive/negative experiences on the different options of pills? Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, etc etc. I use Xanax sometimes for extreme breakdowns but I don’t like how physically addictive it is and it’s only a temporary solution. What are things to consider in regards to weight gain, sexual dysfunction, nightmares etc.

Thaaaaaaanks.",2.7489707128731524,5.727580414634148,3.8811281664940185,81.05248422638667,84.57491289198606,7.005141727092947,27.268951878707977,8.098718942377014,2.459177116489311,1237,56,209,28,37,400,172,287,0.105,0.718,0.177,0.9457,3,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,3,0,4,10,16,1,1,8,1,20,12,1,4,3,49,44,24,1,4,7,0,3,3,2,0,9,0,2,0,12,19,2,2,5,2,1,4,8,5,0,1,4,5,28,11,32,40,6,33,0,2,1,0,12,13,0,8,18,137,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654030394860555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704814614006762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797225236707852,0.0,0.0,0.12161786107848682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899497120890687,0.0,0.11308944610603845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742818213373395,0.06894374167850452,0.0,0.1841511966128292,0.0,0.11094867845644003,0.11169112574096296,0.0,0.10941998929346568,0.0,0.10939912380876847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093886962203712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35767609160397706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607773304659788,0.1045718754167448,0.10077885433367204,0.0,0.10810697380994347,0.15274338264533285,0.0,0.0,0.09770761863964984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651863459261599,0.0,0.055852527198929004,0.20510264526846428,0.12151114228849773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776596400024825,0.0,0.09453417626879687,0.1138004798437808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723265948716057,0.1061790320557657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175024426640891,0.0,0.0,0.11319508859400546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668255988900026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959737342007805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769376089015473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362121890895135,0.0,0.07926739302239103,0.164900727993015,0.10324780900290373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257653567223234,0.0,0.11217696042530588,0.0,0.0,0.16260945253541326,0.0,0.1254279108417202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698043766668004,0.1089743838402478,0.0,0.08229933191385283,0.10573003137086852,0.0,0.15133331769935038,0.1139446229085673,0.0,0.17875177991480062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592476960852131,0.0,0.1968442688799293,0.0,0.12412289357822412,0.0710217580966633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044289254137502,0.0,0.0,0.18466013988761326,0.0,0.0,0.06305429684428396,0.0,0.0,0.13017933841897178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778268271484035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768435473746646
mentalhealth,mrbillwithers,2018/02/20,"Question about therapy hi all, i've been receiving therapy for the last few weeks but want to move on from a therapist and find a new one. her practice is covered under my insurance but she charged me a fee of $250 on our first visit. she finally submitted a claim and i owe $140 in copays - would it make sense for me to ask for the remaining 110 back because i provided the 250 up front? or is the initial fee separate from the therapy fee?

i've also noticed she submitted a claim for a day we never met (it was before we i was even referred to her), is this normal too?",6.285367231638419,5.0182601355932235,7.680000000000002,75.02926553672317,66.28813559322035,11.934463276836158,36.61581920903954,11.20814326018867,4.029876836158191,448,20,92,12,6,156,78,118,0.026,0.961,0.014,-0.316,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,11,0,7,0,0,1,2,16,12,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,4,4,1,0,0,2,4,0,14,0,16,7,2,17,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,2,8,65,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480843772276474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731136242723025,0.0,0.0,0.14238814158857627,0.0,0.11288095869856735,0.0,0.15757028263042808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942255313635584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223063382892336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028501566005456,0.1692465914198911,0.1575097568183137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094233654250347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236057475941172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681171520753596,0.0,0.0,0.14281837242603188,0.17884316482790932,0.0,0.0,0.18143217949530024,0.0,0.21082296003320972,0.0,0.0,0.12547936951069993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20743837456822212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6352912375242998,0.2150024424683247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092210102328956,0.0,0.14853621203543388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154300407571978,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychedelicjarred,2018/02/20,"am I just a spaced out person or have I developed a mental health issue? I've been experimenting quite a lot with LSD and every night I always smoke quite a bit of weed (about 0.5g to 1g a night). During the day when I'm sober I feel like im constantly tripping, for example I can stare at a chair for what feels like hours and just overthink about everything. I feel like my thoughts are super loud and annoying and they are sometimes louder than a persons conversation, meaning that I can't really focus on what that person is saying. I pretty much just stare and space out for most of the day, even when I'm typing this I just stop and stare at my keyboard and just think about random things and my thoughts are so vivid its almost dreamlike. I also can't really sit still I always have to have something to grab and play with, an example is when im watching netflix with people I cant just sit still for more than 10 minutes, I constantly have to switch positions and mess around with my phone case or pillows. Everything just feels random and doesnt make sense anymore, its almost like im constantly living in a psychedelic world. I can't make eye contact with anyone as I feel they are going to ask me a personal question or I feel i am staring into them and they might think Im in love with them.

I also want to mention that before the drug use, I was quite depressed and am an incredibly lazy person. I've never had a job nor do I wish to have one because I know i will just quit anyways as it's not worth the money to work for someone and to constantly be socialising with other people (mainly co workers). I am pretty introverted.

I am an 18 year old male from australia, any insight would be appreciated as to if I should seek help or talk to my parents about it. I have no idea if this posts makes sense, I cant really think focus on im typing because i just get lost in my thoughts constantly.",5.841922077922077,5.630817438961043,6.590324675324677,78.98262987012991,66.81818181818181,9.389610389610393,30.22727272727273,8.97023862654752,2.301155844155843,1514,49,301,23,22,501,193,385,0.061,0.845,0.094,0.9184,2,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,5,8,24,11,1,0,17,0,34,4,1,4,1,75,61,30,0,6,16,1,7,4,0,4,2,2,1,6,13,25,0,1,17,2,2,2,10,4,0,1,7,16,40,7,46,48,6,38,0,2,7,1,22,14,0,14,23,199,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430215023266912,0.0,0.0,0.11421941357815008,0.11884424779381488,0.0,0.0,0.0485639321464657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082344490005829,0.04993429147743702,0.0,0.0,0.06357355254686373,0.06676239930554599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706655724303225,0.0,0.060768008132699586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796553294668382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858655266089372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092112174441406,0.0,0.06150872701794199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828175048950262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047168237790579534,0.0,0.06016932953586639,0.0,0.12836449967557126,0.06985654241808703,0.0,0.0,0.2166542209809904,0.15305441180512502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037310839266105206,0.0,0.040586191228370365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759096850968042,0.0,0.0,0.0478672626406522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032835153405541,0.0,0.0,0.08061765246194745,0.3856965816978652,0.07453760566443819,0.07086732202012681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924723706771355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955698696793534,0.0,0.06305982265345897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779567580457622,0.06071358307470776,0.06445387442228821,0.0,0.1430080904150877,0.0,0.0,0.07779072287427581,0.0,0.0,0.07196846079590634,0.07575891121923373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249746728006213,0.0,0.05507883766026882,0.0,0.0,0.13403430115428325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493692317416015,0.0,0.04839193799503763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792967357262122,0.0,0.0,0.0990188765590124,0.3117795152726504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839481959890617,0.14530731365195518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999996333294297,0.3038300882112696,0.0,0.0,0.1372488073361635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056791236179277615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060508804671262836,0.05497794457552293,0.07063021861174408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114062538997627,0.05970525653366701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057399824656495325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744425245616502,0.13727751902169227,0.0,0.17008408824910587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616787202275008,0.0,0.0,0.04212179560318045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212251347694148,0.0,0.0,0.0519902032003436,0.0,0.0,0.05073041824911626,0.0,0.0,0.045988239804890405
mentalhealth,paxton_f,2018/02/20,"Does this sound like PTSD? I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but just a little nudge because I'm considering looking into it a little more. * My father was physically abusive and disrespectful of my personal space

* I spent a year at a boarding school where people I was in conflict with would sometimes come into my room at night and physically attack me in my sleep.

* I do have depression and anxiety issues, and I'm very easily irritable when I'm at my low points.

Whenever someone enters my room without knocking (most often my mother) I absolutely lose my shit. I contain myself, but I instantly have a feeling of intense distress, anxiety and lack of safety - somewhat like a ""defense mode"". I then cannot relax for a very long time, as I feel a mix of rage and insecurity.

I've told her many times to not do this, and it angers me that she still does - but at the same time I recognize that it's not rational for me to react to something so simple this vigorously. 

Could this be PTSD? I've heard that people have intrusive memories of the event, and are stressed out when thinking about it, but in my case I can think about what happened to me over the years rather easily but my reaction to similar situations is absolutely over-the-top strong.

Thank you in advance!",5.358152306565779,6.705030224066395,6.58612643397608,73.09318525750551,68.33609958506224,9.819965828655112,32.01879423968758,10.056822442137396,3.387961484012692,1008,43,179,25,17,340,140,241,0.235,0.654,0.111,-0.9911,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,3,10,17,5,3,12,0,14,2,2,1,0,39,30,18,0,4,11,2,2,2,0,1,0,2,2,1,12,13,0,3,4,1,1,3,5,11,0,0,5,5,28,6,30,22,5,35,0,3,1,0,9,20,1,3,14,126,40,1,0.0,0.161401486100145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20841980695500026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127349726823626,0.15497285439887604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304002249551172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173436936656478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876264834800248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732831151191404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384186015202932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775646244049147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046118065805587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421809853778701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331029468051077,0.27306163113641024,0.0,0.12055269967374728,0.1143926615591234,0.15239822648711535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381083186328918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783566659186585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887917467527335,0.11894430551382602,0.0,0.0,0.12877437238527334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31847382058194823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786452702255755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398305243347416,0.0,0.15311989129422213,0.13632096176520522,0.0,0.11542095289360492,0.10487079996892323,0.13472761822913384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878753110473,0.0,0.1560425090877053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254154527544913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457186208889858,0.0,0.0,0.2382974516386044,0.0,0.0,0.13016651617186573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247957954496522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131370932635344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676861486217687,0.0,0.0,0.17544575501095525
mentalhealth,ImNotHungryJustBored,2018/02/20,"I'm not sure if I'm mentally unwell or just lazy. I work casual at a local pizza place and every time I'm there or I have to go in I always have a thought of ""it would just be easier to die"" I've had thoughts for a while, I don't think I'll ever do anything that would end up taking my life. I'm also adjusting just graduating highschool (19 yrs old Australia's schooling) and all my mates are going to university and they are getting new friends cause they are moving away and I'm scared.  I'm trying to find a new job but I don't want to apply cause associate working 3 times a week with the thought of wanting to die imagine working anymore. I'm just really lost and it makes me think dying would be easier (Sorry to go on a tangent I haven't seen someone I could talk to in about 5 months)
",3.698327057557826,4.053199822485208,5.413652501344808,83.61369015599786,71.48520710059171,8.275632060247444,27.789671866594944,8.296473431620573,1.743149112426036,626,21,134,9,11,215,104,169,0.113,0.8290000000000001,0.058,-0.825,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,4,8,5,0,1,7,0,16,2,0,3,3,35,38,11,3,7,9,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,8,1,0,4,4,2,0,0,6,1,12,3,19,26,1,22,0,1,1,0,5,8,0,3,10,76,15,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983021439878677,0.10387241858146508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380241619776652,0.0,0.0,0.10272826995044687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728625110881513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564791197133907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967030004856944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38867593421026575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056643582142743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129200764139534,0.1051785660532557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409659698090772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644693116201722,0.0,0.06522094566324216,0.0,0.21283920368858164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387911528361227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817439616929101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627175321151447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332808979757278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580395304324016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996418165523413,0.13267946351394747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24113214132077146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099295246763398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042562634761815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997226526920324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498124958031495,0.12633931761597075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577198313513378,0.0,0.0,0.13974215616713626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117655168358684,0.0,0.09386011143570976,0.10033735286147323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997799004273294,0.0,0.29731427370904584,0.14558416188146805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475452440960922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726140694288387,0.0,0.10013481618446207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726433083238836,0.0,0.0,0.2660368341088147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohpeachesplease,2018/02/20,"I choose to succeed and therefore I will. I am a wildfire, untamable and more powerful than you could imagine. My options are change or die, so I choose to ignite. Standing where I am today, I constantly ask myself how I allowed myself to make the decisions I did knowing what I knew. I know right from wrong, good from bad. The road to what I want has always been right in front of me and yet I constantly steer hard left off the main road into wildfire. Wildfire I had always believed I had control over but a blaze like that could never be tamed, it takes everything and leaves nothing but ash in its wake. Sometimes when the wind picks up I watch sparks of myself fly away like embers off a fire. I have always chosen light over darkness, I fear what lays on the other side; your biggest fear, your worst nightmare fuck, the end of everything you know could be right around the corner and you would have no idea. Yet every day I make decisions that fuel the blaze turning me to carbon from the inside out. I refuse to let myself disintegrate. I cannot.. I will not crumble, I will not lose myself. I will not watch more of myself fade into darkness. The sun always rises and you can choose to fade into nothing or you can choose to grow, finding your strength one step at a time; unearthing power you never knew you held. I choose to move mountains. I choose to fight for what I want. Even though my mind fights against me I will keep moving forward, keep learning, keep growing. It may be a long walk out of the flames but I will fight and work until I am the fire the world fears. It isn't me against the world, it's the world against me and you fuckers better be ready. Nothing is standing in my way.",4.776427732079907,5.833949006006005,4.655921138529838,87.46929494712107,69.45045045045045,6.872385428907169,27.391173782478127,6.7026698264267655,1.1511105627366494,1341,43,264,9,23,412,168,333,0.17600000000000002,0.737,0.08800000000000001,-0.9878,3,0,0,0,3,0,37.0,0,11,0,8,9,18,5,3,20,0,32,3,1,8,2,63,49,18,1,6,8,0,3,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,12,14,0,6,17,0,0,9,8,12,0,1,7,6,54,6,41,26,4,57,0,1,2,2,16,31,2,4,18,191,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294904465508975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881274382494061,0.09254790689641827,0.0,0.093010011174949,0.0,0.08265753419976646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153460421068907,0.0,0.08755392698969892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472465333788757,0.0,0.0,0.21395903803699745,0.11103244424685713,0.2371207784464145,0.0,0.0,0.06384423742183963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027422300640929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768108225902982,0.0,0.0,0.06538593167588633,0.0,0.08340840901208728,0.0,0.17794246294849994,0.0,0.0,0.3341941050401384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048056067861036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152021705861443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303315727414691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886809811445939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175444669251614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26397660976463466,0.0,0.0,0.16321685618851073,0.0,0.0,0.10482248185602992,0.10755945571520226,0.10123012853153887,0.0,0.09672890108055343,0.0,0.0,0.08760835459796212,0.0,0.11075121421848398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216121224761168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995775061736133,0.0,0.0,0.21043418589054025,0.0,0.0,0.15270365333685804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849680277539816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708225915616471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536261577152158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790958629628448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744326801392767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726307827250334,0.0,0.05772537017543576,0.0,0.09383664322011108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767923265322647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678082448631445,0.07857842572369424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207027511534572,0.0,0.0,0.07032392594892188,0.10823659748028554,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newyorkskies,2018/02/20,"I'm conflicted about the meaning of what I'm feeling and what to do about it In November I noticed I had a lack of emotions. It started with my birthday and I realised I wasn't excited at all, even though I had been waiting for this particular age (16) since I was young. I didn't think much off it, until things would happen and I didn't react. Now, I still experience the same lack of emotions, maybe even more so, and it's like I'm numb. I did some research, along with other things I've been feeling and experiencing lately and I found they were similar to symptoms of depression. I did some of those online tests, such as a few PHQ-9 tests, that give you an idea of if your symptoms are similar to those who have depression, to what degree and provide the next step you should take (Obviously they aren't diagnosing you) In the PHQ-9 I got 23 and the other tests said I had similar symptoms to those with severe depression. They all suggested I talk with someone and seek professional advice. However, I'm conflicted. I started feeling incredibly down about my life and hating myself in 2014. I managed to overcome it and just thought it was more or less a phase. But that same feeling would be on and off again for ages. It would suddenly come and I'd be lost and feel so many emotions, particularly pain. Through 2015 and 2016 these feelings were off and on. The thing is, each time I had these feelings, I'd be confused. Half of me wanting to erase these thoughts and be positive and work on my future, however another part of me wanted me to keep these negative thoughts and not do anything about it and just self-destruct. In 2017, the feelings were less for the first half of the year. Then things were back to being on and off. Now, it's like it's just numb, and everything is dull. I'm unmotivated, I'm tired, I'm unsocial and other things, and it's affecting my life, particularly my school life in which I have goals. But still, I'm conflicted. Half of me wants to get better so I can focus on my school work, but the other half of me is wanting to keep feeling numb and self-destruct and in the process, see how far I can go with feeling numb and if it will ever stop. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm feeling and if it's common. I tried to research, but I couldn't find anything, or at least with the way I tried to explain it. I don't know what to do. 
Another part of me feels that I don't need to seek help about what I've been feeling because it's not doing any damage to anything (besides my school work and I literally don't know why but I don't seem to care about it anymore) and I think the self-destructive part of me is trying to use that as an excuse to push myself to destroy all my morals entirely and do things to see if it will ""cure"" my numbness. 
I don't know what to do or what I'm feeling. I'm lost. I'm alone. I'm numb and empty. I tried to explain like my heart is full but just there, like not filled with any emotions in particular and it just remains that way, however, there's occasionally a small hole in my heart which just feels so empty and that's the only sense of emotion my heart feels. This numb emptiness. I don't know if that makes sense but any help would be appreciated. ",3.4315091463414618,4.791232888719517,4.492653658536586,86.22063902439025,73.0091463414634,7.565073170731707,27.44926829268293,8.109356740369918,1.6162554634146342,2549,94,538,38,50,832,237,656,0.112,0.8170000000000001,0.071,-0.9748,3,1,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,4,3,8,31,25,2,1,20,0,58,19,3,5,5,137,129,59,0,18,24,0,16,4,0,7,16,1,0,0,56,44,0,7,34,0,0,5,17,18,0,5,26,20,62,7,79,89,21,53,1,7,2,0,17,23,0,12,27,379,118,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056532149638623436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059917060249004124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802370745793166,0.12132539932199855,0.0,0.0,0.0573734811865294,0.0,0.0,0.1428214079581027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044484494878175136,0.0,0.035265945415448766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051165252234268564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058983807695233564,0.0,0.0,0.04983423861528392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494831180840384,0.0587184010151827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253776733527811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642119095727108,0.052330302418074265,0.0,0.0,0.051993504534743315,0.056590201561585035,0.0,0.0,0.46802606637677796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052875534754298535,0.04920874654500747,0.0,0.0634315578024265,0.0,0.0,0.03022519926428696,0.055496757566509625,0.03287853453273458,0.0,0.04626940224938267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05115819208740125,0.0,0.0,0.05711671605104472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566413099424224,0.07755373934265827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530768692986721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028427491256804,0.0,0.0,0.19076315370187846,0.0,0.06525939668784099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225873989003053,0.1130539495438604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630423717493247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03861655320743832,0.05865268674018261,0.058119950270551675,0.06301761488179336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04252775977761862,0.0428964071890423,0.0,0.0,0.06152608939841371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586470461070658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043998932113081916,0.06155843786224925,0.0,0.0,0.18794371909686128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503034889036097,0.0,0.0,0.17564745547727756,0.09220085461766432,0.05266614343736002,0.1810562620720644,0.0653561136494428,0.0,0.047855640839702986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04901767728645495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189566188289185,0.0,0.09240111017619734,0.048366729651531486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039064214788916,0.043497384808870936,0.04649911854311412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23060515592348674,0.07413824773268936,0.056839140219028035,0.1377836993252506,0.033733873818020635,0.06649218107451675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711041063754902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996541610727009,0.0,0.0,0.13649005924476976,0.09184019747732344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522022883770495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263504881501309,0.0,0.0,0.1643851524651292,0.0,0.0,0.03725468896593183
mentalhealth,rho-phi-theta,2018/02/20,"What's wrong with me? Throwaway, because my boyfriend knows my reddit username. :p

I have been suffering from depression for almost 10 years, with the usual symptoms. I can never sleep, I'm always exhausted, and I have trouble focusing. However the last year has been different.

I don't know what happened to me, but all my symptoms got worse all of a sudden, and I started having other symptoms too. I've been having trouble discerning the real world from books I'm reading or shows/movies I watched. Everything seems to run together and get so confusing. I've also become really anti social, avoiding my friends and really any social situations and I don't know why. I just feel like something bad is going to happen. I've also become really anxious and paranoid about anything and everything. All of this has become so crippling lately. I've been feeling more and more suicidal every day.

For example: I was driving home from work the other day, and suddenly was convinced that I wasn't real, and that I needed to kill myself to get back to my real life. I thought that I was dreaming, and could only wake up by dying. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know who I can ask for help. I'm just really scared of what's happening to me.",3.791535714285714,5.962691891666669,5.141309523809521,78.55750000000002,73.83333333333334,7.904761904761906,28.51190476190476,8.704169506293173,2.5478154761904763,994,41,170,20,21,331,129,240,0.231,0.701,0.068,-0.9926,2,1,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,1,9,15,1,3,5,0,22,7,2,0,4,41,44,18,3,2,4,0,2,1,1,0,5,0,1,0,11,15,0,1,10,3,0,3,6,12,0,0,10,3,26,3,22,33,5,17,0,2,1,0,6,2,0,4,13,114,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756352118900816,0.0,0.0,0.15583178746610413,0.08107076977375392,0.0,0.0,0.06625672567989832,0.0,0.0,0.11006980343636999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017777997416159,0.0,0.09108525156444358,0.0,0.0,0.07491876939730932,0.08135118933277252,0.05939330635075625,0.3228161384170343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779108312743571,0.0,0.0,0.1256704472639648,0.0,0.08391756336073629,0.0,0.10111846054124016,0.10179512589217952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209019709067021,0.0,0.17513020602185084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852853515263414,0.0696050458907522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527529500517678,0.0,0.1018078204493588,0.0,0.05537253718458904,0.0,0.07792482946622249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258474922977691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653062458011887,0.0,0.09773168637913862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779346149838548,0.0,0.26772887873317336,0.07941963408999322,0.10990691711467754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881871308478332,0.04760008402099999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224418411336532,0.07514513912542954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410100660320404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745781429409812,0.3326949547129939,0.2496683217533956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754587646204856,0.0,0.0,0.08869793095402802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951702972532038,0.0975018117870594,0.19863818272846565,0.0,0.07500748870991444,0.0,0.0,0.06896248034339918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657419030495167,0.0,0.0,0.3038057407984815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773496864823425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073069749172772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791672729211505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093125451823676,0.0,0.0992909692732855,0.0,0.21305198659987795,0.0,0.12548531614220848
mentalhealth,Mixmaster-McGuire,2018/02/20,"How do I help my partner who suffers from PTSD Hi, a few months ago I started dating someone who suffers from PTSD in the form of very vivid nightmares. Often times when they tell me about it or when I’m there and it happens (usually they jolt awake or gasp, and are usually covered in sweat) I find myself at a loss for words. I generally just end up listening to them while they talk about it, and if they want me to, offer consolation in the form of a hug. I’ve never experienced any sort of trauma, and have never really dealt with a situation like this. I feel utterly helpless, and am looking for any advice on what I can do to be a better support system.",6.517435064935062,5.748678643939401,7.4082251082251105,75.53590909090913,65.5909090909091,10.270129870129873,33.25108225108225,9.606745405546679,2.937308225108226,519,19,102,9,7,175,91,132,0.108,0.782,0.11,-0.1744,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,5,2,8,9,0,0,7,0,7,2,1,1,2,20,15,12,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,5,15,4,19,14,3,20,0,4,2,1,14,6,0,5,14,75,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823523268984547,0.16541777502972874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25380127734646674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504065139760393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528034125733435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094355206283615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055740600847302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501787790999148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508019701366455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116781732238684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670470898460356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894966380095678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878490009988256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4362722808728001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954661644482895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975653226333665,0.0,0.0,0.1581133491204748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320829351324668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117618813256643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998938691110442,0.16310464481746548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881331110416817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41104728648631295,0.15397211336276806,0.11006692678809374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,godsburrito,2018/02/20,"Does anyone have days where they feel particularly detached to the point of struggling with the most basic things like talking to a cashier? I think I generally recognize when I am really depressed or anxious but this is something I just recently realized has been common in my life. This happens maybe a couple times a month now but thinking back used to happen at least weekly. As soon as I wake up everything happening in my life feels alien to me and it feels like that usually until the next day. It really kills any sort of momentum I have in life and I feel  I have to start over again. 

 For the entire day or days, I don't feel like I am a part of society/reality. Many times I have had something I need to do that day but I didn't even consider doing due to it not feeling ""real"" (I can't think of another way to describe it). I really struggle with any sort of interaction with people and will not talk to people I know unless I absolutely have to. My clothes feel really strange on me and I feel sort of deformed if that makes sense. 

I don't know how to respond to basic everyday things that 90% of the time don't really think about. I tend to avoid doing anything when I feel like this except when I have to.I can remember so many interactions with people (less now that self-checkout is common) that were awkward because I couldn't figure out how to respond. I am trying to think of how to describe it, I tend to respond with things I have thought about earlier in the day that may or may not be relevant. I have never been able to figure out how to do anything to change this feeling and hope that I feel normal the next day.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this? I am in therapy and taking medication for depression and anxiety but have never been able to really describe this state of mind in a way that people can understand. ",5.128202479338842,5.9567914380165305,6.042083333333334,78.68312500000002,68.50413223140497,9.465977961432506,30.001033057851238,9.621722640351123,2.704478512396694,1464,54,281,31,24,484,161,363,0.095,0.857,0.047,-0.9193,0,1,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,0,19,12,1,4,12,0,38,5,1,6,2,75,70,27,1,5,14,0,11,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,23,14,0,1,25,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,8,11,35,5,57,57,4,49,0,2,0,0,8,14,0,11,36,205,58,0,0.14702238284735109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997039292279452,0.07708289376657894,0.05623586023013271,0.08304672218001108,0.0,0.10280146852753803,0.0,0.1209868939644914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652556862975942,0.0,0.044811739985662034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776509329011236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133873510508989,0.0,0.33186045927396457,0.0,0.12663016291241552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866027799607122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485534486347795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606711882261355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40886413862771614,0.15754922952391312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950171114045552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301319988364116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132924172116943,0.0,0.08079965664542292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557693854602483,0.14365541974361276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906929109905981,0.1490576201317531,0.07385187236076902,0.0,0.0,0.07405479158977647,0.0,0.0,0.07422534765284987,0.0,0.05867593165670255,0.0,0.0,0.054507616983731064,0.1133927252942796,0.0,0.15635997209072575,0.0,0.07202535969140862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960545669853156,0.0,0.20385361684390846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949183681227428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367182948807415,0.2825589095258539,0.0,0.07258343307466696,0.0,0.08327384973268692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766882048500253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318501317963313,0.0,0.0,0.052031599649703365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369971653373654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055271267369952255,0.1181710222238198,0.0,0.0,0.08406645395683164,0.0,0.14651270744140407,0.2355150160623872,0.0,0.1167193494212694,0.12859490064146095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990927357533915,0.0,0.0,0.07652774278345342,0.0,0.06349006693277402,0.08096219177028112,0.0,0.0,0.1166995241756034,0.05896624363336049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gettinmoneystillsad,2018/02/20,"I’ve had chronic back pain for about 4 years and it’s really starting to get to me. I’m so scared of being in pain for the rest of my life. The pain is constant. I am in pain almost every moment of every day. And there seems to be no end. No one can tell me what’s wrong with me and no one seems to take seriously the severity of my condition. I’m only 20 and the thought of 40 more years of pain horrifies me. I’m not going to hurt myself now, but I’m afraid that when I’m like 40, I won’t be able to take it anymore and like off-myself. I read this article about this guy who had a degenerative disease and ended up killing himself because he couldn’t bear it anymore. It terrifies me. And on top of all of that, I work part-time and I’m in my final semester of college, struggling to stay afloat in class. My back pain makes it hard for me to sit down at a desk. It makes it hard to stay focused. It takes away my ambition to do my school work. I just want to give up and go lie down and rest my back. But I can’t. Because I need to graduate and I need to get a job. How do I overcome this back pain and my related anxiety issues? I understand that getting healthy is a long road that is going to require hard work, but how do I get by in the mean time? How do I grab my life back? I’m just looking for some good advice or uplifting words. Thanks for letting me vent.",0.8801010101010114,2.494770074074076,3.0427609427609426,92.839696969697,80.58249158249158,6.420202020202023,22.44781144781145,7.3871296695380915,0.6627185185185183,1060,34,251,15,27,361,146,297,0.173,0.743,0.084,-0.9722,1,0,0,0,0,3,29.0,0,0,0,5,16,18,1,3,9,0,18,10,0,5,1,39,49,21,1,4,7,0,4,2,0,1,10,0,0,1,17,13,0,1,5,1,0,3,7,14,0,2,3,5,30,4,44,40,5,38,0,1,1,0,6,14,0,5,20,159,47,11,0.0801807139014109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783516656477489,0.0,0.0,0.08028940289213635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133802667031446,0.0,0.15903544597933053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533242009807667,0.3082700986504223,0.0,0.09775483796763994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664686700696066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051709927281449006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420326272398144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351114192555457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783405287666284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675644547062487,0.07691664692004843,0.13670564242634636,0.06725177867229877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939151275627879,0.0,0.0,0.21547851167531573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583511256842949,0.0,0.0,0.08368783370960854,0.07956698646003325,0.0,0.08870808017081824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199021237376349,0.11326801890797307,0.07834449345586318,0.0,0.0,0.07095740866282688,0.06733160564837026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704249828527793,0.0,0.0,0.08734030322037314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890596678351875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086650536655636,0.0609810460033683,0.5972255292623413,0.0,0.0,0.08682789960169814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020241194131296,0.0,0.05136581846976308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027488225394581,0.08114716311224418,0.0,0.14598702111766707,0.0,0.09058138417575504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05675232198728825,0.1709239452709074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838222912691795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808577547226868,0.0,0.07008147805785522,0.07381962874176813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365453056506648,0.04675401907213347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347095089611922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729266246971625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751175440037623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766502367185389,0.0,0.10326750184908227
mentalhealth,Tank_Dempsey58,2018/02/20,"What’s the point I’ve gotten to point to where I just want to die. Shit just seems to get worse with certain things, and then I think of other people and how much worse they have things and then I’m harder on myself because I feel like I don’t have the right to complain. Idk what’s wrong with me. I’m super hard on myself all the time, and I’m always covering things up with my sense of humor. Any help or advice is appreciated. ",2.6160439560439563,3.827311703296701,3.7437362637362632,91.37626373626377,74.82417582417581,6.079120879120879,18.494505494505496,6.18269132825596,-0.2944769230769233,339,5,76,2,7,110,59,91,0.21,0.619,0.17,-0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,1,1,4,7,1,0,3,0,4,1,1,1,2,17,13,8,1,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,9,4,13,12,2,10,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,2,4,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20066074710237916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086348105413027,0.0,0.0,0.1396416343955952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517639961635085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131156792408361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382859658496484,0.14669850148230204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072842816779501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839487766674336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763841793173956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032118946192836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095219453210335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423603603288791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882347767647823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536349899161222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693836616326934,0.0,0.0,0.2107836807683372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4092662597218216,0.13157677776274426,0.0,0.0,0.1197383146802665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111779507404202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41852817469520587,0.0,0.22451251035079114,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gothzarya,2018/02/20,"I feel so lost right now. Hi. I'm a 16 year old in the United States. Throughout these past few months, I have had the worst mental breakdowns in my life, which have had an immense impact on my social relationships with other people. I feel so alone, and all of the passions that I had just months ago are now gone; I have no enjoyment from pretty much anything but eating. 

When I was a child, I was physically and verbally abused by my older sister, which has caused me to develop extreme social anxiety and problems with verbal communication. When my sister left with her boyfriend a year ago and other things preoccupied my parents' minds, my family gave me relative independence. At first, I liked being able to do what I wanted to do, but now I don't have any emotional connections with my parents nor my sister, and college application season definitely made the relationships worse. Plus, being closeted gay in a Christian household isn't helping, either.

I've always been a negative, pessimistic person, but ever since November, I've felt like absolute shit. I've had problems with overeating in the past, but binge-eating has become a coping mechanism for me. It has gotten to the point that I eat until I begin to throw up because I feel so empty. Eating gives me temporary happiness, even though it usually results in embarrassing digestive problems the following day that contributes to my continual anxiety during school. Plus, I've always had issues with my body, and so this increased binge-eating makes my body issues 100 times worse. Whenever I walk around school, all I can think about is how people are judging me by my appearance or how they're laughing at me because of how I look or what I wear.

I spend around 90% of the time that I don't spend at school in my room, which I've learned to love and hate at the same time. I have always been an introvert, but my room feels like a prison at the same time. The only place I feel comfortable in is my room, shutters closed and the only source of light coming from my desk lamp. I spend my nights doing homework, staring blankly at my wall or a computer screen, talking to myself, or obsessing over my mistakes. It's gotten to the point that I feel uncomfortable around people, no matter how close I was to them before. Even during school, I try to spend my breaks and lunches alone if I can, because I feel like a nuisance to my friends.

Sometimes, I wonder how much better my life would be if I could just end it all or abuse substances to feel happy again. I remember a breakdown back in December, when I made very informal plans to jump out of my window (located on the second story) and completely destroyed everything in my room. I don't do drugs, but I drink three coffees everyday to stay awake and to give me energy to get through the day. That slight rush is enough to get me through my homework, but it's just not enough. Sometimes, I feel like binge-eating, coffee, and music are the only three things keeping me alive. I don't self harm that much, other than pulling out my hair, scratching myself, and fantasizing about cutting/burning.

My sleep has been absolutely terrible; I've needed more sleep than I've ever needed in my life, and I always feel tired despite getting the recommended amount of sleep for people of my age. On weekdays, I get three to four hours of sleep on some days and twelve hours on others, while on weekends, I sleep for the whole day. On the weekdays that I get twelve hours of sleep, I usually sleep the minute I get back home to midnight; then, I spend all night on homework, writing, or crying. No matter how much sleep I get that night, I feel the same every single morning.

Honestly, I feel like most of this has to do with my extreme mood swings. Ever since I started high school four years ago, I have had these intense emotions that could change in a heartbeat, but they've definitely gotten worse, to the point that I feel like a completely different person whenever I experience those changes. It's not to the point that they have different names and such, but looking back on my social interactions, I can identify three or four distinct emotional personas that I adopt. I feel so volatile all the time, since some random thing someone says to me has the potential to completely shift my mood. The absolute worst part about this is that I don't know who I am anymore, and so whenever I have to make decisions that could potentially alter my life, I remain indecisive because I don't know which emotional state to please. These mood swings cause me to think that I'm a nuisance to all of my friends, which then causes me to isolate myself and do all that stuff. Nowadays, I'm always in a lethargic state, but those brief periods of energy/flamboyance causes me to feel more exhausted than before once they're done. Alongside the changes in energy are changes in attachment. Most of the time, I want to be left alone, but the other 10-15% of the time, I become so attached to other people, which I know annoys them.

Two of my friends have told me that they're concerned about me, which makes me feel terrible. I know I'm never going to have the energy or the will to commit suicide, and the whole purpose of isolating myself was to stop being a nuisance to them, so obviously my efforts were unsuccessful. 

I know this is an extremely long post, but I don't know what to do and if this is something to be concerned about. I don't have access to a mental health professional, since I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents at all, and they're the only ones who could bring me to a psychologist. Most importantly, though, I don't know if this is a normal thing to experience around my age. I hear of stories so much worse than mine, so I honestly have no idea if this behavior is anything to be worried about. Don't most people experience these feelings in their life? Am I overreacting, and will everything be okay in a couple of months?

Thank you so much for reading through this awfully long and boring post. I just needed to get everything off my chest.",9.668671080997843,7.679447835078534,9.030422954522123,70.34148906683093,60.17801047120419,12.19940457858536,38.43917462272867,10.801897940470877,4.018443609485678,4833,183,872,92,51,1540,418,1146,0.141,0.7490000000000001,0.11,-0.9907,5,3,3,0,2,2,136.0,0,1,5,5,49,45,4,3,56,2,84,32,14,17,15,173,158,77,1,20,32,6,21,7,3,3,10,2,10,4,61,41,6,2,34,3,5,13,21,19,0,11,25,28,138,23,136,118,37,142,1,1,4,3,42,58,1,23,71,620,199,14,0.0364789142804751,0.08644309669231331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700906949370354,0.0,0.0,0.11334346118893122,0.0,0.0,0.15176689473125016,0.0,0.0,0.02480691262599525,0.0,0.05581253915476859,0.0,0.036177280789558064,0.0,0.0,0.060038076495794325,0.12989587075427447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415010011806204,0.0,0.08894883024134613,0.08057618964009194,0.06208173850738548,0.0,0.0,0.03226263525355498,0.0,0.08103970036610329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498955741818132,0.1543594175092922,0.03142335458881402,0.11474234274807085,0.0,0.0,0.11650177894675535,0.04036322481130708,0.040070374419250064,0.0941035275424948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622540256394265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03733059451744623,0.0,0.035735448327155216,0.0423039592765629,0.11198110883957954,0.0,0.16413547455161806,0.03230949053710466,0.07538493976036083,0.0,0.04818795768283887,0.09899179927183788,0.0307350586039722,0.0,0.09835468794395907,0.10705013376346206,0.034389073843400834,0.0,0.3320070323209793,0.13030271825401565,0.03502547836693159,0.0,0.0,0.031028945851710118,0.0,0.0,0.08455055604970707,0.0,0.1524698167990804,0.06998779714503496,0.020731807642503486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766496514844103,0.0,0.036015375599018934,0.0,0.038775380049209614,0.04111438760083032,0.0,0.02445104729969117,0.03854197576869441,0.03659132533218448,0.0,0.1077731473456825,0.0,0.0,0.04118025399394939,0.0,0.07614901797869238,0.0,0.03242413511735245,0.0,0.0,0.14033500097766344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792688942031977,0.0,0.12883067982980614,0.12475228427414704,0.0,0.0,0.06456538242746564,0.06126620109254057,0.0,0.03982104413651386,0.0,0.03292364437003143,0.0690344614308663,0.07304987563688639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352433132502602,0.0,0.036833304453758674,0.0,0.08735136404859728,0.0,0.16089719588293128,0.0811459581489834,0.02813478754683381,0.0,0.0,0.10269896970840584,0.03574159078799912,0.0,0.0,0.03827848412348128,0.03884885316573628,0.024719056398171884,0.11097543245253833,0.0,0.0,0.12151655196005008,0.03950310932150867,0.06964650271180332,0.1517393162305368,0.06370396178478856,0.038112701281971334,0.04004289346759738,0.1379374600886298,0.0,0.06987343235484895,0.0371121702296554,0.0,0.10471618314429028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036488785992750135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832940416932913,0.04132349874043117,0.0311527934781244,0.0,0.02900949679224293,0.0,0.1845930438406335,0.0,0.0,0.038055463350123366,0.0,0.0374450812928236,0.12070293942203128,0.0,0.29204207132881393,0.11155697763283476,0.03090846569129535,0.028083250411613574,0.07215715797362555,0.0,0.02581996328366167,0.03888166894899855,0.0,0.030498005756131888,0.0,0.0,0.0417596293473675,0.03990201145546834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058640739003863976,0.0,0.03358488317276096,0.0,0.0,0.0969398788991101,0.04674843063385613,0.07168069613400523,0.0,0.1488980379082195,0.04192714570033297,0.0,0.03485716586452188,0.0,0.024766788257620468,0.0,0.03563459865846644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035274075550555,0.03009892466235215,0.04303241755740625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145481011403638,0.0,0.0,0.039559826450874,0.0,0.037046108180459884,0.14870052053055524,0.025913574073667924,0.0,0.0,0.0704736743653237
mentalhealth,lamp_slayer,2018/02/20,"Dating somebody who is well-adjusted How do you deal with dating somebody who is ""normal?"" I have a boyfriend who comes from a somewhat normal family who doesn't have a mental illness of any kind. I always feel like a burden or like I'm over-explaining my symptoms to him when I try to make him understand. I can't help but feel crazy sometimes and feel like he has no idea how to relate. Have any of you experienced this? If/when you have kids, how do you co-parent like that?",3.8746428571428595,5.071206583333336,4.7544047619047625,85.40250000000003,71.70833333333334,7.5690476190476215,25.17261904761905,7.957251820313856,1.323236904761905,376,11,76,5,7,122,61,96,0.1,0.7490000000000001,0.151,0.598,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,4,0,17,18,7,0,2,2,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,11,5,7,18,1,4,0,0,0,0,14,0,0,2,7,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344287538016947,0.0,0.0,0.267153988758685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920433923291153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250745820929988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517375349148088,0.0,0.2979579533526789,0.28065476306939496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166077766151887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174200551363396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454833823968546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383856949795416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111644825879204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795206562416576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38491321703567105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19427117816692865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20416270858855504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336093796758022,0.0,0.0,0.20448727915739287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176611328880331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Azathoths,2018/02/20,"In Need of some help Hello, first time  poster here on Reddit,  but I visit  here everyday. I’m not really sure what to say or if this the correct subreddit , I’ve been struggling with some mental/internal stuff I guess that’s what it is for the past couple of years. I had a major mental breakdown down back in July 2016 that changed my life. Just need to vent to someone, be nice to have some genuine conversation on here or through PM as I am afraid to tell someone in real life. Hopefully someone can understand and/or relate and not judge me. There are stuff that I would like to reveal, but embarrassed to say it as I’ve never had this type of conversation with anyone before online and in real life. This is my first time posting in any type of forum. I’ve been going to through something that not a lot of people go through I guess, I would like to say it but I’m not really to say to who though, I hope this a great community here. 
I apologized if this doesn’t make any sense as I am a little nervous about expressing myself for the first time on here. 
Thank you for anyone that reads this! :) ",4.516438356164387,5.450436260273976,5.1907579908675805,83.85161643835619,69.95890410958904,8.214429223744293,26.01552511415525,8.447377352677275,1.5972615525114149,867,25,174,13,15,280,116,219,0.051,0.7879999999999999,0.161,0.981,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,10,12,0,4,7,0,15,3,0,1,3,36,28,13,0,8,12,0,0,2,0,2,3,4,0,0,19,4,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,4,0,3,4,4,15,8,37,21,5,25,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,12,13,123,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849306844113702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268319170605646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839531220225663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290462686861774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549857036986767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080622838429413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786068211801188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409967244133215,0.0,0.0,0.12037196817764237,0.2405494225783763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318143726450227,0.0,0.0,0.2168818900076384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313524046185265,0.1066802269777523,0.10942761782427222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282141960446004,0.0,0.0,0.07287888088632798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22005667791353986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619120242652553,0.08420678936867962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422521183704464,0.07569206283326052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456480950810654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921011972440213,0.24854279155947864,0.13988774275091706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472990982440444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27752503791010863,0.08405253987655423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413924149537168,0.2499712718082093,0.0,0.0,0.10290139881165453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542863392639432,0.10051880358409378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726935952704177,0.0,0.19099221196243826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366082790060343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511749432467978,0.0,0.0,0.07030870997265404
mentalhealth,sirdrannik,2018/02/20,"I am manipulative. How do I fix this? Hello.


I don't know where else to go, but I need help. I'm facing an issue, that I love you girlfriend and she loves me back. But I hurt her because I'm manipulative, without really realizing what I'm doing. I make her feel guilty of things that she shouldn't feel so, and if I don't get things my way, I manipulate it so it sounds like it's her fault or she is wrong. I don't do it voluntarily, but I do it too often and it hurts her and me.

How can I improve myself? 

",-0.654553014553013,1.3399833783783777,2.7291891891891886,90.70359667359669,89.0900900900901,5.577546777546778,16.646569646569645,7.010146845296331,-0.1484503118503122,389,9,95,6,13,141,65,111,0.163,0.6559999999999999,0.18,0.4776,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,1,0,11,3,1,6,0,23,23,13,0,3,6,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,0,3,24,3,3,22,0,4,0,2,0,2,13,1,0,3,2,68,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17582002966294588,0.0,0.13938473587294986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19101022679793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312276364459999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946174607059815,0.0,0.12994875928456814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532612743950518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4895554938339102,0.0,0.0,0.2386543078564473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566169940902513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170829755822853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127364878922156,0.0,0.15262764136147602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954328929812085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464809556060209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038137630196162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149409461582966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041331566282224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499961418552439,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tallahnasty,2018/02/20,"Something is wrong with me and I'm struggling to cope. Over the past few years I've been very depressed tho l've never been diagnosed as I can't afford doctors. For about 2 years now my depression has mutated into paranoia and anger. Everything makes me mad, every little noise means somthing and I can hear everything existing around me and I become angry. For a long time my dogs have helped me through life. I loved them and they ment the world to me. But now I look at them and wish they were gone. I with they would leave me a lone and I don't want to pet them or be around them at all and every little thing they do angers me to the point that I hit my youngest dog (not very hard, but he did yelp) the other day for drinking too loudly and not stopping when I told him too. And I don't feel bad about it. 2 years ago I would be crying over anything bad happening to them, and beside myself if I was the one who hurt them. But now I wish they were gone so I could be left alone. And I only take care of them because I'm obligated too. These feeling are scaring me. I've had one of the dogs for 8 years. We've been everywhere together, but now I can't stand him. I would never hurt them, I'm not a monster. But the fact I've already struck one with no remorse frightens me. It makes me sad to say it but I miss my old depression. At least then I was just sad. Now I'm only paranoid and angry at everything. ",1.8377209908735352,3.55623505762712,2.995000000000001,93.79865384615387,78.08474576271186,6.165580182529336,21.85462842242504,7.010146845296331,0.4120430247718381,1102,31,249,12,26,354,152,295,0.24,0.688,0.07200000000000001,-0.9937,1,2,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,13,0,16,19,3,2,10,0,26,5,0,2,4,48,49,26,0,8,12,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,1,0,8,19,1,1,3,1,0,2,10,17,0,3,12,7,49,2,28,29,3,37,0,9,1,1,22,14,0,2,20,167,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134645795621192,0.0,0.0,0.10672737885377044,0.1137168066641226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480030257507322,0.18347038722978906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208272597431234,0.06281753312577691,0.1138091967737328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050650209467138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227600451116385,0.0,0.11319416188448038,0.06645788868289522,0.0,0.2662670917047075,0.10459226478720944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054747144716684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094849827545477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364595412792913,0.0,0.27784058997655897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042090414066679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112562808815013,0.0,0.09231139741331308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614337807719342,0.0,0.06907137371186382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063153657548987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911369783656992,0.11196271775451556,0.0,0.07278634671972034,0.0,0.20656374533397126,0.0,0.0911948597505108,0.08653495737220462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300547810349476,0.0,0.1375716194041931,0.0,0.0,0.11225024775914216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589550256177203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813227955475,0.0,0.20948540502447116,0.15674636496780628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837164759384487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741433299226598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194846501137128,0.103169729089508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933192637719509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615333025325937,0.0,0.10772887906014966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747980038326008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846097961525585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008852764502937,0.0,0.0,0.0984674521485721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005194486739375,0.0607807951618931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23700184659007745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21960852683905155,0.11266758030536887,0.0,0.26543994560630824
mentalhealth,qwertytheclown,2018/02/20,"I feel like i might have LSD or cannabis induced psychosis Starting last September I used to smoke weed and drink a couple times a week. After a while i started dabbling in LSD and mushrooms. I stopped doing drugs after I realized that I was depressed and that they would only make me more depressed. I realized that I was depressed a couple weeks ago and told my doctor and am in the midst of working something out with a therapist using talk therapy.
But lately I haven't really felt depressed I've just felt kind of insane. You know when you smoke weed and your brain wants to group all your thoughts together? That's been happening for a couple days but I haven't touched a substance in at least a week. My thought pattern has just been completely different, everything is very visual and it feels like my brain is trying to make this web of thoughts, connecting every sight, smell, memory, and feeling. I feel like I'm high all the time. I feel like I'm going insane. I can't focus on anything and feel tense all the time thinking about what's wrong with me.

I looked into cannabis and LSD psychosis but the symptoms don't really sound the same. It also reminded me of synesthesia (connecting different senses) which I know that I have because the alphabet has a distinct color scheme, and thought it might relate to that?
Does anyone know if this an actual disorder or something? I just want to have control of my thoughts again without trying to connect everything. Thanks.",6.995255754475704,7.728322557971015,6.517851662404091,77.24965473145781,64.36231884057972,9.682523444160276,35.07587382779198,9.627879704456738,3.3967513213981237,1190,52,205,22,17,369,149,276,0.102,0.8290000000000001,0.069,-0.8328,2,0,6,0,0,0,24.0,0,4,1,2,7,11,0,0,16,0,20,6,2,6,4,61,52,20,0,4,10,0,9,4,0,3,3,1,0,0,13,15,1,2,20,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,12,14,30,6,25,37,6,27,0,4,3,0,8,8,0,5,22,134,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.08348281354980078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583341828817912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841295545259535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981736994412853,0.0,0.07039897287776957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052149457920329136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100042093575773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969577915129717,0.0,0.09594970798729227,0.0,0.2839727454242715,0.0,0.05517158501597401,0.0,0.29473054848387303,0.0,0.0,0.17875955929640647,0.09804577890726428,0.08756232392930306,0.07486390570329067,0.0,0.0,0.08380477871354072,0.09920888394689463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207814384957073,0.0,0.1537706160956772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595347866752601,0.244462929225434,0.16427959358473107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861907806236854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565009116056044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038649021295804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908540405192446,0.14104534756591894,0.06973329353925257,0.0965022239269897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717833918843036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183903750380598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114208327200397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815064832155657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506334742313293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960888052288166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317185425942343,0.0,0.0,0.12110307331640342,0.0,0.0,0.07152222074277775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891745366141529,0.0,0.0687604939334552,0.0,0.07876139335502799,0.09783195217449246,0.09932818568816948,0.0,0.05481590504488711,0.0,0.3395790256682865,0.14965172880848807,0.0,0.0,0.0817450797066854,0.0,0.1161633787478066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477725513416332,0.0,0.07058631803780024,0.10091722364559466,0.0,0.2058650908486284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246552148088747,0.0,0.06228019115301945,0.0,0.0,0.060771067457699536,0.09353365128738446,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bkhfrst,2018/02/20,"**Strange obsession with the death of Earth, please help I can’t really put into words what’s going on with me. I have always been a thinker, and I question everything, but lately it’s taken a much stranger turn. I’ve become obsessed with theories on consciousness, and at times, I have become convinced that our reality is not actually real but rather hallucinations from our brains. On the days that I do feel real, I then focus on the corruption in the world and the overall helplessness and lack of control that we have. I have extensively research the death of the planet and the fact that eventually everything the human race has ever accomplished will be destroyed and forgotten. I don’t feel safe on the planet sometimes, I feel like at any moment something could go wrong (solar flares, black holes, asteroids etc) and it makes me uneasy. 

** please be kind, I understand these thoughts aren’t normal which is why I’m posting this. I just don’t understand why or what is causing me to feel this way. I somehow manage to appear normal, I go to work, I keep my house clean, I have friends, I’m social... but inwardly I cant connect with anyone and I feel like everything we do as humans is meaningless and futile in the end

Any thoughts on what this is? Causes? Solutions? ",3.850467665326999,6.440461445378156,4.658257215929852,80.09582206795763,75.30252100840336,7.836609426379247,27.154548776032147,8.716276077567194,2.3917531603945923,1016,40,177,22,23,327,136,238,0.155,0.7,0.145,-0.5484,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,4,0,0,3,4,11,1,2,13,0,23,1,1,4,2,52,42,15,2,5,7,0,5,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,14,16,0,3,12,0,0,5,6,5,0,0,4,6,25,6,23,34,3,26,0,1,1,0,10,12,0,4,9,120,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.10937864445424704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326357352323088,0.0,0.0,0.1524430821145664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837233271257676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475778199200757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512376047125706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302840307872801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257126892251934,0.08949063171540457,0.0,0.0,0.07228545523132869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927390790795852,0.0,0.12500423522858575,0.0,0.10138716314400707,0.0,0.0,0.30220390575491807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833673378206545,0.16014687742909875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659647650799804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191101208510591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751281118188811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933086725837886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996261640194746,0.0,0.11671912243405262,0.0,0.0,0.12643659204966418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951799145841362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481750724126346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239526086196146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196387088367706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460710121012441,0.0,0.0,0.1073463024872235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267623156008096,0.12556068300591333,0.0,0.0,0.2551541939326568,0.07180442453936034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425638865350204,0.0,0.08628839293881663,0.1108547819308271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779657006434459,0.06535757697218499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219161300317454,0.0,0.23336856195048145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896773623073086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022782855673468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159910519313007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254718730301785,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,labryrinthine,2018/02/20,"Disinterested, Lack of Motivation and Lost In My Head Bear with me please. I am struggling a lot and just want to get this all out + ask for some advice on getting through the rough patch.

I had a bad home life and was abused physically, sexually, and emotionally. I got out when I turned 15 and moved to live with my grandparents, which is when the severe depression kicked in. It feel like, as soon as I got away from the danger, I had all the time/safety in the world to think about everything. I was sad a lot before, but I was always positive and tried my best. But once I was safe, I obsessed over the bad thoughts and experiences. I stopped trying in school and just lacked motivation in general. I eventually pulled myself out of it and made a lot of positive strives in my life. I finished high school with decent grades, got sponsored by the government to study abroad, and started college when I got back.

I was doing really well my first semester of college; however, halfway through the spring semester I began to feel very depressed. I felt like nothing I was doing mattered and even though I made awesome grades, had great friends and lots of support, I felt empty. I started seeing a therapist (the 5th I had seen since I moved away from my parents), who I decided to finally tell everything to, even the things I held back from previous therapists. 

I felt instant relief and like I was actually understood. I started taking depression medication and, during the summer, I was doing so well and felt so great. Then, school started again and I felt depressed about what I was studying, about myself and about life in general. I started falling behind, something I didn't do the past two semesters even with bad emotional health. I blew through my savings and I took out a small loan on a car that broke down two days later (that I am stuck with until I pay off, I payed to have it fixed and it still is having issues). I had to medically withdraw from school and began to see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with BPD. 

I transferred to another University and promised myself I would start this time ""right"". But, here I am... I am slacking and finding it hard to care. I am working hard to pay back the loan I took out, but it is difficult to feel motivation outside of that. I am in no position to not go to University and get a good job. I am independent, but I know if I spend my life working a service job, etc. I will feel like garbage and compare myself to my parents. I know there is nothing wrong with those types of jobs, but I have been given the chance to go further.
My grandparents love me and all, but they cannot support me. I wonder how I can be so lazy and ungrateful for all that I have worked for; for the opportunity to go to University and make something of myself. 
I come from a below poverty line, trashy family. I have always pushed to be more than what I would have been if I stayed there, but I seem to lack any gratefulness for how far I have come.  

I hate my brain. I hate it. I am no longer interested in actually putting effort into things. I like the idea but not the work. I feel an almost euphoric feeling when I think about all the great things I could have in life if I try. I like the idea of friends, but am too lazy to connect (especially if they do not push to connect with me). I like the idea of finishing my studies and working, but I am too lazy to put forth the effort like before. I get upset when I see a 0% by an assignment, but am nonchalant when I don't turn it in and there is only a ""late"" comment. 
Regardless, the bad feelings are not enough to motivate me to do things ahead of time, finish things, study, etc. 

I don't know what to do. I live with my boyfriend and he tries to motivate me, but he isn't the best at it, because he is already finished with Uni and works all day. He likes to do his own thing when he comes home, and I cannot expect him to babysit me because that would be selfish. He himself is sad that I am not being true to my hardworking nature (as in, how I was for the 3 years I got shit done and did well). 

Can anyone give me advice? Share with me their experience and how they pulled through? Meds and the therapist/psychiatrist help, but only with the illness. Neither have helped with the intense side effects of wanting to wither away so I don't have to deal with life or anything else.

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mentalhealth,FREDRIQtheREDERICK,2018/02/20,"Recent unprovoked panic attacks have been coming out of the blue. I don't know why or what is causing this, but in the middle of my sleep, or if I am waken up in between naps, (I work midnights and my wife days so it's frequent), I start having a need to do something. 

I don't know what but all I can think in my head is filling out boxes, or putting something together, or programming something. I feel like o have to organize, or clean or just get progress/finish something. I have yo complete something but I'm not doing anything, I'm just and have been just lying down trying to sleep.


I've been up wife awake feeling I have yo do something , and twice now it's led to a mental frenzy of a panic attack. 

This has hit me like a ton of bricks, no warning, and I've never experienced something like this before.

My everyday is just fine, no worries, don't have anything like this in the least through out, but every otheer night now it just comes back.",2.9595353403141367,4.7167468743455485,4.016410340314138,87.52890870418852,75.02094240837697,6.031544502617803,26.597185863874344,6.6274283507984215,1.113463089005236,747,28,147,6,16,242,103,191,0.16,0.74,0.1,-0.9209,0,0,7,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,9,9,2,2,7,0,22,3,3,2,2,36,35,16,0,2,17,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,9,0,0,5,1,0,5,7,4,0,1,3,4,14,5,20,31,3,26,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,7,14,104,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957890344551902,0.0,0.0,0.2706699323066695,0.0,0.09147343271163967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122679097249274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122205404682724,0.0,0.20494821331319432,0.12472802710651455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767198079607992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002295176531336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030020518175505,0.08498554545006957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062152054073432085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208799491586292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307553755662261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324727497683492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988440236004835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820784921406585,0.09174982294415064,0.0,0.0,0.11163655517933484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791494919893865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958835728946768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745933640798133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23809321726757704,0.0,0.0,0.6410722931782825,0.0,0.0,0.08420099337011075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762252109853926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076650423428093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073435255661272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660480396998009,0.12081036192894773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NationalFun,2018/02/21,"Someone please help me. I'm not being a troll, but I have some real fucked up psychological shit going on in my brain right now, I think it might be some form of OCD where I have to keep repeating ""I'm an athiest"" in my head. I'm always in a state of awkwardness, and I never used to be like this. I'm very sad and depressed, and I'm drowning in the depths of nihilism. Someone please help. I go to counseling but it isn't enough. Should I check myself into a hospital?  ",1.012346938775515,3.0795308469387805,3.0422040816326543,90.7063673469388,82.36734693877553,5.960816326530613,21.02448979591837,7.1686216300943375,0.5372334693877551,365,11,80,5,10,123,64,98,0.207,0.6709999999999999,0.122,-0.9222,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,1,5,0,8,4,3,1,1,16,19,5,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,10,1,13,14,4,16,0,2,0,1,2,10,2,3,4,52,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949052024053576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227390935770256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175442166282896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104713396309297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831270362062108,0.0,0.0,0.2315290741816237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090497898480287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730648692911071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810534352409696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951506599391363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160881576310124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710210670825284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447191784333316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318494533153848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395437861805485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090899441544351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451801487492453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051950233599546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592704019240935,0.0,0.16806967055419092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,D4RKR4GN4R0K,2018/02/21,"My mental health and the effects weed may or may not be having on it So to keep things short, I have DiD, anxiety, acute paranoia and more that I cba to write down. Basically around 6months ago I started smoking weed on an almost daily basis, and it felt great, I wasn’t paranoid, I wasn’t anxious and I didn’t think that I was really losing control. But, of course that didn’t last long, over the last few weeks when I smoke my paranoia has gotten worse and I start to seriously worry about tiny little things. It turns out that I have actually been losing control too as I have realised that A LOT of conversations that I thought I was having or had haven’t actually taken place. These kind of went hand in hand as once I spoke to a friend about a previous conversation I thought I had, she had said she had no clue what I was talking about, which led to a domino effect then the paranoia. 


In conclusion, if you have diagnosed mental illness please do not smoke weed.
I haven’t smoked for a week now and have (for what I know) not lost control or been seriously paranoid since. It may seem like it helps, but it really doesn’t ",6.701666666666667,6.12645937219731,6.791132286995517,79.47246823617341,65.14349775784754,9.765171898355756,31.587817638266074,9.075114841892004,2.407379970104634,892,29,180,13,12,286,122,223,0.117,0.809,0.07400000000000001,-0.4333,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,9,8,9,0,0,9,0,30,5,2,6,0,37,46,17,0,1,9,0,3,1,1,3,3,2,0,0,18,8,0,4,9,0,0,2,11,5,0,0,23,5,24,4,23,19,3,24,0,3,0,0,11,11,0,10,12,128,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.24342466778107466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056002947535616,0.0,0.12489276340049245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541328464829046,0.14090227321219365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103053076072264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41966468541272856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659192415880374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197543056802874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636121671716584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750831312422118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257545454872144,0.0,0.0,0.08359966313250672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086015007658928,0.0,0.12988053446800885,0.06854488050369492,0.2033329147794783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609336969292175,0.12500590763799166,0.0,0.11037654450543252,0.0,0.2790678213582507,0.13615064559787948,0.1060356246129364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513842967737673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282666373888985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030971431161986,0.13690916236476613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980238442264172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864079458430413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354376686849932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317272866787007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656014535091685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002481809158783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572176072339365,0.07991790709539652,0.0,0.19803336278170014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356635639352156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000916484750639,0.0,0.0,0.11562011403912167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666296565120808,0.12710409979187098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,krarmstrong89,2018/02/21,"Mental Health Friendly Location Does anyone have any recommendations for locations that are progressive about the mental health movement? I currently live in Toledo, OH with my significant other that has biploar 2. It has become increasingly obvious that Toledo is very far behind on this movement, from her school to her doctor. It's embarassing how bad her illness is stimgmatized. We are hoping to move soon, because she doesn't need to be around these people. But does anyone else have any luck getting help or finding people that are open minded in their location? Outside of America is welcome also. Thanks!",7.037297008547013,9.963809759615387,6.730128205128207,67.39264957264959,66.78846153846155,9.23760683760684,32.70940170940171,9.725611199111238,3.926800427350427,501,22,67,12,9,157,79,104,0.052000000000000005,0.778,0.17,0.9161,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,1,5,6,0,0,1,0,12,4,0,1,1,13,16,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,5,13,15,1,12,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,2,48,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908087396812524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23653821761701874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432127668002524,0.17819789368357322,0.0,0.15482245920351614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521292086455068,0.1060178168965246,0.19207698845064947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801079427428182,0.3043908091675926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452848270881328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895642937822296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436737122463785,0.0,0.0908641354573868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697299789999392,0.0,0.0,0.11657248998163737,0.0,0.0,0.17273821678805454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357135835612132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505336303897885,0.0,0.17560597555592694,0.0,0.0,0.1848455986423892,0.0,0.12895679923823694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411434529340613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601267127779824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011884518503172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349923545828733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sahrahbobahrah,2018/02/21,"Help! How do you manage constant worrying? Hey guys! Not sure if this is the right place for it, but I could use some advice on how to manage over-worrying. I don't *think* I have any kind of diagnose-able anxiety; I don't have paralyzing panic/anxiety attacks or anything. But I often find myself overthinking decisions and imagining the worst possible consequence for everything.

Example: I've recently been thinking about getting a bike. It would be a great way to get around and get some exercise, and the reasonable thing to do would be to just get a cheap bike and practice riding around town. But every time I think about even practice rides my brain jumps immediately to potential traffic collisions and I have vivid images of lying all mangled at the side of the road (graphic, I know)!

Example #2: I live in a safe neighborhood and lock my doors every night. However, even knowing that all my doors and windows are locked, I find myself lying awake at night picturing endless home invasions that somehow always end in rape, murder, or me having to stab the intruder to death. I know, I know.

I've always been a worrier about general life stuff, but the death/injury-related stuff seems to have increased after I was in a car accident a year ago. 

Basically, although I am able to function reasonably well in my life, I struggle with over thinking and constant worrying. Help! How do you manage these thoughts?",5.649069767441863,7.658444178294573,6.1805348837209335,73.72754651162792,68.45736434108527,10.12124031007752,33.442635658914725,10.355215969177356,3.9888179844961247,1130,53,186,32,20,366,150,258,0.226,0.705,0.069,-0.9941,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,0,0,14,10,3,1,14,0,21,5,1,6,3,52,36,19,2,4,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,1,9,11,0,1,16,3,1,5,3,5,1,0,4,1,24,5,29,27,6,31,0,0,1,1,6,15,0,8,10,128,33,3,0.10499397909164343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025989012137048,0.0930708274905474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472680299309604,0.0,0.0,0.0713995061792735,0.0,0.16064021324789773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640109872562549,0.1869338028155739,0.0,0.11944580863970328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172080042599428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22692238320729524,0.0,0.0838291488668422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299350161115147,0.0,0.0,0.13869506593646042,0.0,0.1769239114757921,0.0,0.09436181835671544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919251895269054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194200824348226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575623260984425,0.0,0.10396054643060493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075050201407058,0.0,0.10531752171470776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933507231514064,0.2308077803159983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832070494655858,0.0,0.0,0.09271160711678916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19705947378061145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318781224748933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096963613214541,0.0,0.0,0.1183649357905825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590259445746746,0.10366888778498104,0.0,0.0,0.08966428446690818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558257526695536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976250358348348,0.2403859729410334,0.0,0.0,0.09895558274117047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975333435106727,0.2691036093234465,0.0,0.08335349145749328,0.06122283354755088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068108720544818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333933353549096,0.0,0.0,0.09440219647336977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31987944688977504,0.0,0.14916942064455585,0.0,0.0,0.06761268017219539
mentalhealth,Ellavadr,2018/02/21,"I don't wanna kill myself, I just want to stop existing. This is really just for me to rant and get out all my problems, so warning, it's gonna be pretty long. If you have any advice, or have been in a similar situation, it'd be great if you commented what you did to get through it. If not, continue scrolling and good luck with whatever you have going on.

I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with school. I've always been smart, have a high IQ, and was always extremely sociable and likable. I used to have tons of friends and would go out all the time. But last year, I just developed major anxiety and depression and suddenly, I had no motivation to do anything. Me not finishing schoolwork, and losing friends because of how much I stayed home, caused anxiety build up to the point where I had an actual mental breakdown and refused to go anywhere or do anything, including go to school. I was ""skipping"", but in reality, I was literally just too scared to walk into class. I don't know what I was afraid of. Committing to something, facing the problems I've made by ignoring classwork, im not sure. My grades slipped until they were nothing but failing. I felt so stupid. I never even tried to do work or turn in anything, and if I did, it was literally the bare minimum. Before I knew it I lost all my best friends and summer of senior year was spent in doors, my choice fully. I had a boyfriend all through this and he was pretty supportive, until he cheated on me. That really sent me further down. I didn't even know a human could feel this low. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. On top of all the normal problems that come with getting cheated on, (low self esteem, hating yourself, blaming yourself, etc.) I had literally nobody to talk to or hang out with. I was alone. Throughout the months I've had ups and downs but I can't fucking get rid of this stupid fucking depression nullshit and I'm fucking sick of it. I want to live my best life but I can't even fucming get out of bed to do the simplest things. 

Oh, and also, because I missed class so many times last year, one of my teachers decided To report me for truancy to the DMV! Even though there's so many other kids who missed more then I did but whatever ! So now I have no license till I turn 18, in a few months. 

I decided to switch to all online for school this year, so I wouldn't have to deal with actual people or ang of the parts I hated about high school, which started out great. Until now. I'm at another low point and I'm such a pussy that I'm too scared to start assignments because then I'll have to do them. I sound so pathetic but I just can't bring myself to do anytbjng. I'm so behind, so I have to do a ton of assignments to catch up, then keep on pace and it's all too scary for me. I want to be something great, I have big plans for my life but I just can't shake this. I want to get this depression gone before I go to a real college, a real school, next year. I have goals, so many of them! But I can't even fucking start. I just feel so down about myself all the time. I don't like anything about myself and I'm sick of it. I used to be so confident and love myself so much.

I get out of the house a few times a week to exercise, volunteer, and see my boyfriend or family, but I feel like shit about doing anytbjng fun when my to do list is miles long.

Btw, I'm on medication, lexapro 20 mg, and I'm starting wellbutrin this week at 150 mg. Hopefully the Wellbutrin will do something. I have a regular psychiatrist I see who also counsels me and he's great and gives the best advice. When I talk to him I really feel like I can make a dent in my shitty life, but when I get home, all hope is lost. 

Just because this post is long already I want to add my goals I want to accomplish, just to get them
Out there. 
By this summer, or the end of summer, I want to:
Be on steady school schedule
Be organized
Clear my skin once and for all
Train my dog
Start weight training with low cardio, I really want to build muscles and start a healthier lifestyle. 
Keep my room clean and organized 
Make friends and go out more!
Be happy. 

I just wanna be happy in my life. I just want to be motivated to change for a better me. I miss the way I was before all this hit me. I want to live an anxiety and depression free life. Thanks for listening. ",2.688256607791555,4.2165262390078935,4.087638575723414,87.69852037141428,75.22322435174746,7.588431667292997,25.17175560566203,8.300459065403729,1.4697603783038953,3382,114,724,59,72,1118,325,887,0.16899999999999998,0.677,0.154,-0.9613,0,1,3,0,1,1,109.0,0,4,4,16,51,64,12,4,32,0,72,19,3,9,15,148,160,77,1,27,36,0,7,3,4,5,10,2,6,3,30,45,1,5,13,1,2,14,18,36,0,1,29,11,102,29,117,114,26,114,0,15,2,5,30,47,5,15,53,484,132,21,0.0,0.0,0.09223594865824764,0.0,0.0,0.09236191075398363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048946079414417386,0.0521514901753765,0.07558602277965064,0.0786465605063495,0.0,0.0,0.03213774582182211,0.04955519017055867,0.10845903462893043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556054646083065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523460982602217,0.0,0.1206418043071856,0.0,0.1487862388212069,0.04179675185514179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048548019008854026,0.04999376383419584,0.04070945054186389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03773247215432876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048721961810814764,0.16281645635816352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04185745361258464,0.0,0.05270628594885487,0.1872847732846397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04455158652306285,0.0,0.09558229708572824,0.06752368909868804,0.0453760586016905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604876849644882,0.17476076441791946,0.22221792885405645,0.04533514648089226,0.16115029898807215,0.03963861347698089,0.0,0.20841289134780086,0.05206112501792908,0.0,0.0,0.10061618496554577,0.0,0.09331697209799704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986347268600768,0.09480927599003593,0.09387771601183964,0.0,0.054530549779122285,0.0,0.0,0.05104783801100723,0.0,0.0,0.08401195494210219,0.05228509002430976,0.0,0.07791694411936742,0.0770447977154019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690217379506514,0.06926509206423348,0.0,0.08346113926252707,0.1254682040018301,0.0,0.05287074123917083,0.10317757909767286,0.0,0.0426530995712605,0.04471761576824905,0.0630915092345094,0.14373964866383646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760847836596903,0.04762596433235754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544337815047876,0.0,0.06948161671290219,0.0,0.03644906016976932,0.0,0.0502604908391405,0.0,0.046303793516353005,0.04534629247824857,0.0,0.0,0.05032930084179032,0.03202392669562853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117689999101061,0.0,0.03276344548067564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935007549046554,0.0,0.04526106578787381,0.09615880151784972,0.0,0.13566146372426935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758219417024092,0.12110132189502185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462902223238832,0.2869718330306121,0.07531862099773756,0.0,0.04930145184597974,0.0,0.048510692282004636,0.0,0.05312110473852023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091468789993542,0.0,0.0,0.2341511822751723,0.05037181420559851,0.0,0.03951064656211774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362896190238421,0.04454105547734453,0.0,0.0,0.07597000051248341,0.0,0.04350974484953584,0.0,0.0,0.03139678478966733,0.0,0.04643173512595674,0.0,0.11022842976547513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03208576407094761,0.10280845924109164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163321813845162,0.0,0.0,0.2787458718480798,0.03751200059281581,0.07581665072780673,0.05754873973746015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054345526560974314,0.0,0.0,0.034405120463440964,0.0,0.0,0.03357144314854405,0.0,0.0,0.15216625758239086
mentalhealth,helpmi001,2018/02/21,"Very intense fear of hell Hi,

I have a very intense fear of hell, or eternal suffering broadly speaking. I just can't accept the concept of being in extreme agony for eternity. I always think about absurd scenarios in which this would be possible, for example a place like hell existing (I'm not religious btw) or being in an infinite simulation created by another race in the universe.

These thoughts consume me completely. I feel depressed throughout the day and can't even concentrate enough to study. I really don't know how to handle these thoughts. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you",5.964926624737946,8.534690000000005,6.480691823899374,69.5767819706499,68.81132075471699,10.37148846960168,37.24947589098532,10.504223727775694,4.884150104821803,484,27,73,15,9,157,77,106,0.257,0.635,0.107,-0.9717,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,4,10,3,2,6,0,10,0,0,1,0,14,17,4,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,2,2,7,3,13,9,1,10,3,2,0,0,3,6,3,2,5,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989486770716536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940564612885234,0.0,0.0,0.13845018932852265,0.21348496249124294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134633373766626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130061165982704,0.0,0.1753543118235791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103659439547548,0.0,0.13447122512038545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581973479710204,0.1029427141634531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118893623823211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946523280670433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127113030091812,0.0,0.0,0.2295204637538758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042685878823662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874410372604164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045414336015182,0.0,0.323260125763541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359710158950429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892531844465333,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hereisacat_Games,2018/02/21,"I think I need Help Finding Help (USA) I'm not diagnosed with anything, nor am I currently seeing any kind of doctor. I have a decent job, as does my wife and I'm going to school. School is kicking my butt. I do really well when I apply myself, and I do great even when I half ass things. But lately I'm struggling. I'm not understanding and I realize I've coasted for most of my life. **I don't have discipline** 

I slack off and I quit when things get hard. I'm in a computer science degree at the moment and I can't even get myself to look at my online coursework. I'll log in to my school portal and then sit there and do nothing for an hour or more. Eventually I wander off and do something like clean the house or tend to one of my pets. 

Thing is, it's spreading to other areas of my life. I'm working less hours now and I'm not on top of things around the house anymore. I *think* I need help developing better habits.

Thank you for reading.",-0.3864069264069272,1.871552040404044,1.9476551226551244,93.69386363636364,94.25252525252527,4.646753246753247,17.677489177489182,6.367922702773337,-0.07992987012986985,736,21,160,9,28,248,113,198,0.049,0.8190000000000001,0.132,0.9423,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,4,9,7,0,1,6,0,11,6,2,0,0,26,30,18,0,2,6,1,1,1,0,0,4,0,2,0,6,11,0,1,5,1,0,1,6,1,1,2,0,3,26,6,23,30,3,22,0,0,2,2,5,10,2,3,11,102,32,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656132313893264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623712349562072,0.0,0.0,0.10474853155943477,0.11331477048650546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257734638731368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919630963859574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302863447660097,0.11139202560297558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814721925607132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634042893396095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330071710238625,0.0,0.07234163830272045,0.0,0.0,0.140337282321357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402651914695244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255958696469466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507093183726417,0.2937503188023305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631533095125266,0.0,0.0,0.13255257678290228,0.0,0.0,0.14358826322825444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981688048145514,0.062187290604856914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689124257866944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876731688064166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213784682113328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625475732636889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538820520992412,0.12732409078411402,0.0,0.08154500563935746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864717474034439,0.10143336633985353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979937870673948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330707738702296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117191202659143,0.0,0.0,0.3382623347349421,0.16312412880008073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251300892933998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444867718606835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266837713451566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mmarkkozo,2018/02/21,"What should I do? Hello everyone

I'm Mark, I'm 16, and my depressed feelings are ruining my life.

I'm feeling very depressed, but sometimes that depression becomes an overly-happy feeling, without any reasonable thing.

I want to ask you all if I should ask my mom to take me to psychologist or psychiatrist to examine me. I was asking my mom once to do that. It was about 3 or 4 months, but she refused. Now I'm thinking to ask again.

I mean, if I don't have any mental health disorders, since I'm a teenager (you know, teenagers aren't emotionally stable, hormones, etc.), what could go wrong? If there's no disorder, I could still get some help to eliminate those feelings.

Thanks for reading.",3.447456140350877,5.668002661654136,4.5249812030075205,82.36135651629073,75.01503759398496,7.741604010025062,30.632205513784466,8.59863814320734,2.6061784461152886,546,26,102,11,12,178,87,133,0.194,0.721,0.085,-0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,12,2,0,1,1,26,33,8,0,8,8,2,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,9,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,4,16,1,10,27,3,5,0,4,0,0,12,0,0,6,4,63,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218569465490624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734184236393334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982057536742812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216078517020414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271231062071477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29019084187579325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424087971429354,0.0,0.0,0.1411932950913662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120972436364261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25605256061927223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614366355072239,0.0,0.07195012039982021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347688462491298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457067088398486,0.0,0.0,0.08485781015581711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957645807395615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894218496021692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790532462875624,0.0,0.0,0.12758377326216322,0.0,0.0,0.29654652282804456,0.10105150611662014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482566068860785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663500408132364,0.0,0.0,0.13016665028156438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472544379370194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521137310929334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011035177926694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518800392273066,0.0,0.0,0.1165569558411284,0.0,0.0,0.08410790895092339,0.08112064491937432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445887260315348,0.07467239899532549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203859957550915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841803957963128,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DaisyJohnsonn,2018/02/21,"On the edge of constant panic Hello everyone. I barely can find a words and strenght to type this, but i will try  because if i dont tell someone i think i will explode. 
I feel like i am on the edge of panic attack. My heart beats faster, my stomach feels like its tied. I cant eat. And i also experience severe tremors. 
I dont know whats happening with me. I lie awake listening to music, and it doesnt affect me at all. I think nothing that a normal person would affect, it works for me. I feel numb (i guess thats the right word for it). Like i am fighting with an unknown enemy, i feel terriyfied most of the time. The only emotion that affects me is fear, I think i am afraid literally from everything. I know this fear is irrational but how do i make it go away. 
Its not like i havent tried, but always it gets me.
Most of all i hate the tremor. I feel so embarassed if someone notices it, so i try to hide it. But as much as i try, i fail.
I dont find a point in anything particulary. I am not suicidal but i am thinking if this is how my life will go on, i just simply dont want to live it.",0.5344828862164697,2.3457800468085104,2.9564847363552254,92.06434782608696,82.57446808510637,5.959296947271046,21.706753006475488,7.079830092131019,0.5297733580018495,841,27,194,11,23,290,120,235,0.209,0.718,0.073,-0.9873,0,0,0,0,2,0,31.0,0,0,0,3,6,14,3,5,10,0,21,5,2,6,2,45,41,18,1,6,11,0,5,4,0,4,2,1,0,1,17,5,1,0,13,0,0,2,9,10,0,0,0,6,38,4,21,37,5,13,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,6,7,131,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815403396727148,0.08484197239049511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839074430140819,0.0,0.0,0.11599843670430453,0.09579825919384516,0.0,0.0,0.062156129412039136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018654402793268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4780028210082569,0.0,0.0,0.10433432755815572,0.0,0.11469544646799207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743069162499406,0.0916384052199902,0.09974007077588226,0.0,0.2294750360114149,0.25777956970263016,0.14568578534983107,0.0,0.0,0.18638596199262747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532718285259044,0.0,0.11589664891839928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232451878255126,0.0,0.0901661693855374,0.0,0.0,0.1006680510797885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082748376561588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207317360379528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201998169972766,0.19925726747458905,0.0,0.09003582136842346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806156620309871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495505676090038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999027839436778,0.09783692687082672,0.11608635626355332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754799385625501,0.0,0.2392648817814163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903077605430666,0.0,0.0,0.0963886607252038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707644868263867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151899661275822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727870361620757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153174611053657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912077417576013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613369054008796,0.0,0.0,0.05945585753909125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769066559970414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014083619433036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423079309908924,0.0,0.0,0.07243209199181437,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Jedi_Hunter,2018/02/21,"Heart Worries, Hypochondria, and Homesickness For the past couple of weeks, I've been having anxiety / panic attacks. This particular stretch of suck began a couple of weeks ago when I went to the ER for what I thought was a heart attack. 

A few days later, my father and I went to a clinic and had my heart checked out. My uncle's a cardiologist, so he put me through a gauntlet of tests. And even though all the tests came back fine, I became fixated on the idea of a heart problem. Constant anxiety chased with nightly panic attacks (complete with shaking, praying, and twitching). It got so bad that my doctor had to put me on Xanax a few days ago. 

During this time, I've been going home every weekend, even missing a few days of class so I could stick around an extra day or two for various appointments. I'm a law student who lives three hours away from home. And while the Xanax seems to have curbed the worst of the panic attacks (I've only been on it a couple of days), I'm feeling this intense, almost desperate homesickness. I'm twenty-four years old, and just want to go home and hug my parents / sisters / dog.

Don't get me wrong. I get homesick as much as the next guy. But this is some next level longing. When my mom and I left the doctor's office in my hometown the other day, we drove off in separate directions - she hit the interstate (off to work), while I drove forward to go home and grab the rest of my stuff. As I watched her car turn onto the entrance ramp, I had this sinking feeling that I would never see my mother again. 

I started bawling.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? I have no real support system at school - I can't even leave my room at my shared house because I'm allergic to my roommates' cats, and I'm so worried about catching the flu that it's killed my social life. The only people I really talk to are my family and friends back home, and being cut off from that has made me feel almost physically ill.

I have no appetite. No libido. Nothing to distract me from this crushing, desperate feeling. Anyone who has ever felt this way, please tell me your story and how you overcame it. Any advice is welcome.",4.982071258097513,5.853671522673036,5.538195533583362,82.00949582338905,68.85680190930788,7.704091374019775,30.000085236958746,7.7094869923839395,1.9344748721445624,1684,63,317,18,28,543,228,419,0.188,0.737,0.075,-0.9938,1,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,1,2,0,1,19,26,7,5,27,0,22,15,4,2,4,48,56,29,1,4,3,5,7,0,1,1,10,0,9,1,21,20,0,1,9,1,1,14,6,20,1,2,18,9,41,6,46,34,10,69,1,4,2,1,20,19,1,5,35,208,62,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661549807586475,0.1200227045122803,0.0,0.13558215666612775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460378512985072,0.0,0.10357957142586016,0.0,0.0,0.09467386120223233,0.06936594190791162,0.0,0.060266737665379634,0.0,0.3080709473019249,0.06360572887493933,0.10411317883844363,0.056526094808140435,0.041268870108568806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742997363975243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098143694488462,0.07315890188490534,0.0,0.05405238910647288,0.22472399163174211,0.0,0.26196272020927514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858622186115438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655408527887334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414426436060514,0.12247580082101422,0.057039587271243836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382088298391601,0.0,0.13692321808751567,0.0,0.1300039056876538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052304317823405416,0.0,0.07074018902649602,0.0,0.11542523148100195,0.0,0.05414532146909117,0.0,0.0,0.06703295910011632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32089602619963525,0.0,0.0,0.3395396315245463,0.0,0.06667018190020299,0.07811591254332538,0.0,0.07642427892544479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748992543849723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168379270906522,0.07355549678720859,0.0,0.047818023710657166,0.0,0.0,0.059779729727702034,0.05991175766290384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405872261783009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928861191638999,0.0,0.0,0.04976678134090586,0.0,0.05221388025686495,0.0,0.14399796527553366,0.06353121496453311,0.0,0.0649593123807294,0.0,0.07103903603717386,0.0,0.0,0.10297674954689197,0.0,0.2382916557349239,0.07517207043305822,0.0,0.06462665031413681,0.04693417638650593,0.0,0.0,0.07431351102883378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477909525766938,0.0,0.13611300746440375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705663435507046,0.043369910574670566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685153145109121,0.05394758382754965,0.061630907863979824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690109194562362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04791791901344843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749951133218662,0.0,0.07682437302988444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441413978024502,0.059172179610047525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665142268879664,0.053745688874882236,0.039476011218598665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363740731865781,0.06613238732502867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993080619083402,0.10747311991178443,0.1086086034630206,0.0,0.0,0.12551587448777632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049285902893898656,0.13750386799953487,0.0,0.04809164638110674,0.07401856624581528,0.0,0.04359613507473604
mentalhealth,generic-nickname,2018/02/21,"I hurt myself for the first time in nearly 3 years Everything was going so well but I think I have finally burnt out. I've got stuff going on and stress building up and it just became too much. My life isn't even bad. It just all boiled over and it just happened, I barely thought about it and I feel stupid and guilty and disgusting. I don't feel like I've got anyone that I can talk to about mental health and that scares me because I don't know if I can handle everything on my own. I know I need to talk to someone but it's too hard to swallow my pride and let my guard down. I'm afraid my friends will think less of me or think I just want attention and I can't handle that. I don't want to burden anyone.

I'm sorry, I just needed it off my chest",1.4109991235758133,2.9047807791411064,2.85010078878177,95.36596625766873,78.6319018404908,5.884136722173532,19.00482033304119,6.5431188927421005,-0.16843698510078875,589,12,139,5,14,192,92,163,0.165,0.722,0.113,-0.8661,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,2,12,12,2,3,1,0,11,5,1,0,1,34,30,14,0,5,9,0,3,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,10,10,2,1,9,0,0,2,5,8,1,1,4,3,24,4,18,24,4,15,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,2,5,92,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21930440824565314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309381661941198,0.09559602854682138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357814410290933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818794440471892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858582789620662,0.11203225351151773,0.0,0.17178866643838178,0.0,0.1333910287687653,0.0,0.0,0.12115875832350685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782488623935819,0.0,0.2508465913032754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867542564302324,0.0,0.14047993519024246,0.0,0.0,0.16669234786069478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678790746730612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236836341817185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603590951731076,0.1107666177356144,0.07661434041118459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803769554163324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528075852895317,0.23256011531188836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700419733867824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287309391462115,0.0,0.0,0.17554717317255172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963680289311304,0.0,0.17952140386169999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520919834295617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30145180980576164,0.0,0.12449757879087238,0.09144301468491724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499302154259736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410000311680791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098695123398133
mentalhealth,mrlurker666,2018/02/21,Book reccomendations. I'm looking to learn more about mental illness and the mind it's self so please give any reccomendations!,4.013636363636362,7.149881727272727,3.1822727272727285,82.0434090909091,95.36363636363636,5.836363636363638,23.681818181818183,7.1686216300943375,1.6350545454545466,106,4,17,2,4,31,21,22,0.122,0.742,0.135,0.0822,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684670517116701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787133416923572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331519617633772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978500016809288,0.0,0.39861988473070586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333549165640707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118464156004277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raphael_ok,2018/02/21,"Best Way to tell Family Member to Seek Mental Help I have an older sister who is easily angered to say spiteful things if things don't go her way. She told my little sister to f**k off because she didn't provide contact information on someone that she could gossip on. She told me she hates me because I tell her to control her emotions and relax. She blocks me and adds my sister and I on social media at a moments notice. She makes a lot of money in the healthcare field, and buys many MANY luxury items...as if to seek recognition of how much better she is than everyone. She love's seeking chaos or gossip so much, that she's willing to investigate the drama by opening wounds with the person or using social media just to sedate her own curiosity. I love my sister very much, but she is slowly approaching 30...and I fear there must be something going on...if anyone can provide insight please do.",8.853448275862071,7.067902477011497,8.964913793103452,69.52771551724142,61.58620689655172,10.76896551724138,34.968390804597696,9.188382445141503,3.165335632183908,717,23,123,9,8,237,109,174,0.095,0.8170000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.0644,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,4,11,3,1,6,0,12,3,0,4,1,23,21,11,0,4,6,4,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,7,0,2,2,2,2,3,2,6,0,0,3,1,26,5,19,14,6,15,0,0,0,2,35,8,0,5,2,87,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887630176209686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240295061038088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483997826794356,0.1250645679563733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586019627709796,0.11290339843301693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906583614283734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512214221712454,0.0,0.0,0.13330760580603346,0.1591241832222602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073172853904655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961188705381694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947833195454724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172873962355034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022068169056685,0.2552538765867585,0.0,0.09439145380813573,0.2867326009869052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142506783143705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118551558226089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099482492524692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347268589669858,0.0,0.15522436812399973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245393175233223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882968714018682,0.1198151941866032,0.10886338180177292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24719500029881955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878914102487095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702442844342491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213177704283587,0.0,0.11667704696979818,0.0,0.22448740340297976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-neckdeep-,2018/02/21,"The loss of my best friend has me crashing 24 Days. 
24 days ago my grandfather died because of a medical muck up. He didn’t need to die, his body was fitter than mine, and I’m only 20. For the past 24 days he had not left my mind, I haven’t had a dry eye since I walked away from his grave when we buried him. I don’t know how to cope. I’ve hardly been able to get out of bed and go to work or just try lift my chin up and make him proud I did something with my day. I can feel myself slipping back into my dark hole and in all honesty I want it to take me so I can go see him again, because it pains that I can’t hear him tell me that he loves me. 
I miss him and I know I don’t want to be here without him ",-0.09304006968640977,0.9980848353658552,1.929790940766552,102.09134146341465,81.74390243902441,5.173519163763067,17.202090592334493,5.288315135182226,-0.9594811846689899,539,9,150,2,14,180,104,164,0.1,0.7809999999999999,0.119,0.4939,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,4,7,8,0,0,4,0,14,5,2,2,1,23,30,9,3,3,4,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,6,5,32,4,20,23,2,19,0,3,2,1,16,7,0,1,9,90,36,1,0.1623441128844817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390826078883348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252763809637468,0.1248326019041191,0.0,0.1979269287816044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037013063643952,0.0,0.0,0.1803277115541924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4187940896684971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.336975116688325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208606136919888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542665890256655,0.0,0.0848180984759827,0.0,0.18452780114760106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542843751100604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297361403154686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784401575519457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763873536614528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652190021559214,0.0,0.10836595597308787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354461426420888,0.0,0.0,0.16392127490894176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037610264905813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347001335455048,0.17274558222010433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549758253675074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936723920578105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429272779581608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249804295142192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206256891499655,0.0,0.14189591026746365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022099610111606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915095279403893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564939315574622,0.0,0.11818844768895533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justsomone,2018/02/21,"How to deal with deeply engrained distorted thinking? As stated in the title, Basically I have various distorted thoughts that greatly affect my everyday life and exasperate my issues ,(bipolar type 2 , Adhd combined type and generalized anxiety disorder is what I'm currrently diagnosed with.  But in any case I had a rough childhood and alor of these thought processes are contributing greatly to my everyday issues. I beliieve I'm the cause of anyone and everyone's problems. As in, if a friend or family member , or even a complete stranger is having a bad day, irritable or grumpy or whatever I naturally pick up on it. Most accurate to describe my reaction as "" what did I do wrong"" I feel guilty aabout it as well. Even tho realistically it has nothing to with me why they are upset. Theres others to but this is a big one. Any suggestions on how to go about changing this automatic built in response basically. I guess therapy and realizing its happening is a step in the right direction.",6.47858186506231,8.29621448603352,7.842569832402238,63.35978942844866,66.15083798882682,12.211602922217448,38.908895573700036,11.807384569943707,5.6473271164589605,799,45,125,30,13,274,119,179,0.111,0.868,0.021,-0.8867,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,8,8,0,1,9,0,12,3,0,5,0,29,21,19,0,2,7,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,4,2,13,4,24,17,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,7,4,91,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323688582245174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21868378882659686,0.0,0.12300298822360918,0.0,0.0,0.1124272641239603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425192783287432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517438397426332,0.17009322547974806,0.0,0.16858399262398754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369547117370853,0.16576618763066753,0.0,0.16319724254235027,0.0,0.0,0.18427788937798992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239896557817095,0.0,0.0,0.1536405842584158,0.0,0.0,0.1515773662707211,0.0,0.08129964601182217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242250243115026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137997768686394,0.0,0.0,0.3545404286670261,0.17712698539306532,0.0,0.14218500057515213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356434558800119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356988113371864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428118548452965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895464886883892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385316199765298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731275255893355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183876000184524,0.0,0.0,0.10302696759205092,0.0,0.25529668619951057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456843683564646,0.0,0.14508687856354008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579730649453873,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wifiwonderlex,2018/02/21,"Why am I like this?? Hey reddit. I’ve got this problem that puts myself in quite a bit of danger. Before I mention it though, just some background info, I’m a 16 year old girl with generalised anxiety disorder and I am currently taking medication for the anxiety.
I weirdly enjoy hurting myself, it’s also a habit. I have a history of self harm but now it’s become les of an “I need help” thing and more of a “I’m bored” thing. I’ve been purposely burning and scaring my skin so that I have somewhere to pick constantly. I also don’t care about my health and hygiene. The only reason i care is to avoid embarrassment. I’m struggling to build up motivation to begin caring for myself and I thought reaching out to this community would be a good first step. Thanks for reading!",2.6316008771929837,4.992218782894742,4.509368421052631,80.78124561403509,78.27631578947368,7.211228070175438,26.580701754385963,8.238735603445708,2.0706749122807007,613,25,112,12,15,208,101,152,0.187,0.615,0.199,0.7942,1,1,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,3,7,17,1,4,9,0,9,3,1,3,0,19,21,10,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,10,7,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,10,0,1,3,1,15,7,17,16,3,12,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,75,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440408179691721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23345084671850924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685157133298376,0.12983672342980962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665808975695086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4667049971203069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648877993500123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487310645081672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978685061752118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797921229810444,0.1220344028151615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218837991259108,0.0,0.0,0.10227303365357686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633430417885963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745442481843629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371111715414454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131382118579373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010998003419485,0.0,0.0,0.11604609404688004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600113158786707,0.0,0.15338785633377586,0.0,0.1622905881932056,0.1526240897608436,0.0,0.0,0.1568805296810645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276199977168425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917713610405496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951267046667073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472327545019592,0.0,0.0,0.14047774088689494,0.0,0.0,0.20273846300946732,0.0,0.1499118250063163,0.12113369849470418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768224308026536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839044237398247,0.0,0.0,0.09825831973186416
mentalhealth,ripmyweedhabit,2018/02/21,"I finally got over my persistent suicidal thoughts, but now I am dealing with debilitating and all consuming thoughts of death. Help? Advice? From the time I was in the third grade up until about a year ago, I had near daily suicidal thoughts. Recovery was an uphill battle, but for what feels like the first time ever I feel like I’m really living my life— unfortunately, that’s come with a cost. Suddenly, I’m *terrified* of death. In every way. It’s all I think about. I’m losing sleep at this point. 

I’m an atheist, and all I can think about is the fact that there’s... nothing. I get one shot at this. At any moment it can be over. I’m trying to be thankful that my suicide attempts were not successful, but simultaneously holy shit how do people enjoy living with the knowledge that death could be around every corner????

I’m going to try posting this on a few different subreddits because I’m really struggling. I don’t want this to undo all of my progress and I’m really, really taking an emotional hit.",3.237282051282051,5.500068856410255,4.912948717948718,79.13455128205129,75.8205128205128,8.230769230769232,25.705128205128197,8.998388855275968,2.28551282051282,797,29,147,19,18,269,115,195,0.237,0.647,0.117,-0.9873,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,6,8,9,2,1,11,0,14,2,2,1,6,30,37,8,6,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,8,0,1,2,2,4,0,3,8,2,13,5,26,24,5,28,0,1,0,0,2,13,1,0,13,94,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430466608594093,0.11276083853429555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650474487859465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324070562298165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754386834915908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957708897182512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156399566557482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114425945728025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329036607955862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143090129409495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506551245330325,0.2143538330182354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863880170924466,0.181752619836122,0.0,0.13934844299155166,0.0,0.10820173736336623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664601174012548,0.0,0.07229435432072079,0.0,0.10173861481248364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526379886781163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984967423584157,0.1242932874265329,0.0,0.22465124340735185,0.0,0.0,0.14231147410877612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205801501353168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861983794437484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818893236516677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025120753705172,0.0,0.12182861145957395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259668245890521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305755880640946,0.0,0.0,0.12729831224363136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298379607674876,0.0,0.4174296140521317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564341580572597,0.0,0.0,0.1171146040798592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301750751597852,0.0,0.3029631253400893,0.1483502024083451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727296525761579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502965722569918,0.10097055528281118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191678012685788
mentalhealth,ExistentialApathy,2018/02/21,"I just need to vent. Maybe someone feels similar? **Post** - My anxiety and depression are getting the best of me.



**Trigger warnings**: Sexual abuse, mental abuse, abortion, language. Just don't even read if you are sensitive at all anymore.



**(Rant)Backstory;**
I grew up with separated parents. My father was rarely around. My mother had custody of my, but her mother had me more than anyone else. There was more time spent with the young girls that watched me on nights my mother went out drinking, than time spent with my mom. It was probably for the best since she was emotionally abusive anyway. She was always with a different guy. Whether it was a day, a week, or in rare cases; a few years. The babysitters didn't last very long. When my eighth birthday came around, she must have thought that meant they were no longer necessary. She spent the absurd amount of money my father paid in child support on rent, then handbags and designer jeans. I was less of a commodity. Most nights dinner was a tv dinner, ramen, or canned ravioli. There was never much for real food. Not like I was brave enough to attempt making it if there were. 

Sleeping at night has never been what my brain thought the right idea was. There was always commotion at night. From the common loud creaky pipes, the main road, the hundreds of neighbors in whichever apartment complex we were living in at any given time. Especially to loud T.V, or chatter from her, and whoever happened to be around. Being a child, and not being able to sleep; I learned very quickly that telling her this was only a determinant to myself. Being a very coy child, it took all of my bravery to even attempt this. Needless to say, it didn't build my self-esteem.

Around fifth grade I gave up on school. I was tired of asking for help with homework, and being scolded for not paying attention in class; otherwise I wouldn't need help. Scoldings were common, being dragged by a limb, getting hit. The most severe was having my face hit into a door frame. Things could have been much worse.

In high school there was no more hope for my GPA. Classes were very easy, but there was no motivation or encouragement.  I calculated the bare minimum, and spent all the free time that gave me walking around town, or hanging out with friends. I still hadn't drank or done any drugs, in fear of repercussion. I never fit in with anyone at school. It seemed like I could talk to most people, but nobody really considered me a friend. I was just a person that everyone knew a little bit. Turns out that me being to anxious to speak to anyone only made that worse in other peoples eyes. I was told that people thought I was pretentious and avoiding everyone because I thought I was better than them.

After high school, closer to eighteen now. I start drinking and smoking (pot and cigarettes. I have to sleep outside most nights because my mother locks me out. I slept on the roof most times, since I didn't want to be seen sleeping in public. I need a way out.

I leave for the Army. I go through a bit of basic training and have a panic attack after about a month. It wasn't even a stressful part of training. I had already made it through the mentally challenging portion. My mind just got weak, again.

After getting home, I am unable to do most of anything I did prior. Nothing brings me joy or even escapism. I had left not only because of what has been mentioned though. It was time to get a job. Being that my gpa was terrible, and nobody in my family would let me drive, I was 18 and still didn't drive. I lived miles from anything that had employees. I didn't feel like I had any other options.

I'm lonely, depressed, anxious, and all around beat. I try online dating. She ends up being a stripper. She proposes to me after a few months. I think this is going to be the one. We have an accident with contraceptive. I wasn't worried too much since we had already had the talk of what the plan might be before we even started dating. After the procedure she tells me how she never wanted to have it done, and she lied and wasn't sure why. Heartbreak. The end of the one person I thought I could be close with.

My friend in the Air Force sees that my life is gradually declining. He offers a place for me with him. I just have to cook, and clean up. He was also lonely, so he felt like we were helping each other. (one thing I'm proud of is being able to cook very well now after years of trying to make ramen edible.)

Eventually I meet a girl in the Air Force. I am blind to the onslaught of red-flags. She tells me she is a virgin, when everyone else is saying otherwise. She locks herself in the bathroom and vomits and cries when things don't go her way. She goes back and forth on if she is religious or not, then has a fit in the bathroom when I refuse religion. She makes me delete female friends from my life. I can't drink, smoke, see my friends, or go anywhere other than work or home to her. (I had to move in with her or go to back home bc my friend switched bases to overseas). After finally having enough, another friend tells her I can move in with him if I need a place, since we hadn't planned on moving in together so soon anyway. When I finally hear about this, she had already thrown all of my things into a pile for me to leave. I move out. After telling her it was over on 3-4 separate occasions she finally accepts it. She then tells me she will see me in court for ""the things I refused to give back to her, and all of the time and money she wasted on me"". The only things I refused to give back to her were gifts from holidays, ie: boots, wallet, slippers, coffee maker. After months of dealing that bullshit, I get a call from my mom that her stepfather had passed away. About a week later, her mother. These are the two that raised me. I end up moving back home. I live with my stepbrother and find work after a few months. I am finally for once in my life making a decent wage.

I get offered a much better position in the same industry back in the other state, where I had left about a year prior. Much more money, responsibility, and opportunity. I spend my tax refund and move down to take it up.

The job ends up being all of the responsibility with none of the pay. I am back to minimum wage, after spending all of my savings to come to this seemingly great chance. After working there for about a week, I get a call from a detective telling me we have to meet up for questioning. Turns out, the ex that took me to court filed a sexual assault charge against me a year after we broke up. After answering all of his questions, and informing him about the terrible break-up, he realized how she must have done it to be petty. He did the best he could to keep the situation as calm as possible, he knew that I was on the brink of breaking down and losing the last bit of hope I had in life.

To tie all of these things together, I haven't had health insurance since I was eighteen years old. That is about nine years now. I already had to have my appendix removed after losing insurance, so the bills are stacked against me. Not to mention the literal gaping holes in my teeth from chipping, grinding, and cavities. They are chasms now, not cavities. My terrible astigmatism that has left me on the brink of being legally blind (if I'm not already, I just remember my last script was -20 or +20.. something along those lines). I have left that job now, in part from my roommate who has been helping keep me alive. He saw how bad of a scenario it was and said if I didn't quit, he'd quit for me. Now, it is about six months later. I am still unemployed, and uninsured. I have applied as often as possible to get healthcare, yet I get denied every time. The reason on the return form is always ""Reason; Unknown"". Calling leads nowhere. I have no energy. My appetite is either, eat a buffet; or don't eat for two days. When I try to do anything I get queasy and feel like vomiting.  I get frequently light-headed (I was anemic as a child, more than likely still the case). After all of this, and months of failing at job hunting; I have no motivation to get out of bed or socialize. I feel like absolute shit, mentally, physically, and emotionally. The job in my home state will still take me back. I still don't have a licence (anxiety and trying to prevent reckless behavior/(self) harm). I also wouldn't have a place to stay in my home state. A friend offered me one month with him, but can't do any longer. So I would have to move to my home state, try to re-stabilize my mental health, get back into the working mind, try to build the rest of my health to at least a sustainable level, and find a place to live that is within biking distance of the job; all within a month.

I don't even see the point in anything to care enough about this, ""opportunity"" that I am fortunate enough to have. I don't fucking care. I've become so encumbered by depression that I am totally apathetic, lazy, sad, anxious, beat, tired, fatigued, distressed, and a giant ball of existential dread.

My teeth and head are in constant agony. Oh yea, almost forgot. After all these shitty relationships, a one night stand gave me genital herpes. To add to the health issues, I am highly malnourished and underweight. Not only do I not have an appetite most of the time, but I feel guilty when I eat anything that I didn't buy. My mother would always yell at me for eating things that were in the house, from a young age. So that guilt has stuck with me.",3.6741760810284383,5.515805877995644,4.3647318530061066,85.42602843786524,73.281045751634,7.281876812535168,25.721031900618968,8.027090647613157,1.5132199324763018,7416,249,1445,111,151,2367,634,1836,0.132,0.7809999999999999,0.087,-0.9978,15,5,7,0,3,0,289.0,8,1,3,27,84,68,4,7,108,1,175,45,13,16,21,235,274,90,0,25,43,12,6,7,9,10,17,8,13,9,69,84,13,8,34,10,20,26,43,29,1,9,108,24,213,40,260,131,57,265,0,12,10,2,137,110,2,37,126,1039,282,34,0.05533133899772517,0.09833788329719233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027703171705431514,0.0,0.15264877121223744,0.044248451805818635,0.09208021309451653,0.0,0.0,0.07525441582183047,0.02900986668371808,0.042328322884724975,0.09376299544191924,0.02743691015571608,0.05803343811738185,0.028346747779148536,0.11383244364876165,0.14776986789920124,0.02586366639057401,0.03147369300068206,0.025992807192331442,0.1914587293028542,0.023099678435763285,0.05059420602913841,0.030554558380231293,0.023541447070690724,0.0,0.08710023990866246,0.048936072889918254,0.09061123724153634,0.0,0.0,0.03088403674696943,0.08474922529686893,0.031642155688249095,0.056413987748615925,0.0,0.0,0.023831524587479398,0.0,0.029896760319120738,0.0,0.0883551436753041,0.0,0.030389438864741675,0.0356841362060662,0.02852209045785618,0.07148520180140314,0.0,0.0,0.028904736288718362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493475563787542,0.0,0.08130547103551697,0.03208339334992643,0.11323554655719388,0.04622223377025415,0.062240308977815524,0.09801428628094838,0.11434412836777255,0.0,0.10963748269713304,0.0,0.02330951976333308,0.07930719837715006,0.0,0.0,0.026080731021995672,0.03113156970017907,0.06994296879491854,0.059293079453548725,0.02656338127524091,0.12122555459504908,0.05057184143219634,0.0,0.033453437373825286,0.0,0.17099542101728638,0.025576465653039338,0.1879042159118336,0.05307886221285744,0.07861518765903698,0.0,0.02212676320524648,0.030501498290889124,0.0,0.02739336239423646,0.02446466017056757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056785916903353335,0.11762925188904515,0.03118122020483257,0.0,0.07417486039121254,0.08769089632861594,0.1942564555971956,0.05495650438838205,0.0,0.031922468137798206,0.0,0.03123117338735065,0.0,0.028875771190222093,0.16472344856872267,0.04918103642263631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765363938787926,0.0,0.058587898783938414,0.1202353234366826,0.02829002146904282,0.07816432215238134,0.09461234069140048,0.02772826887001957,0.097717172104229,0.02448324691864528,0.0,0.06190161513007105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052355850815454935,0.0738681968717406,0.0,0.027793883530327124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152195127977076,0.029348903368794987,0.05586887919600654,0.06480339549736146,0.17665978758487286,0.2058295986637232,0.10168725167197594,0.08205497353192502,0.08534987940779049,0.0,0.0,0.15577414020500022,0.0,0.026545956031391187,0.0,0.02903046627252578,0.029463035106512582,0.09373486822791773,0.10520494158349193,0.0,0.032459702255424175,0.030719451967237688,0.05991844813491324,0.0,0.05753967539357852,0.04831319098357713,0.11561894515487345,0.0,0.0261530000110716,0.06237777103348166,0.0264960638825132,0.0,0.029828270935530737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198376284926324,0.05885168989322233,0.02767315622193469,0.03148958867556473,0.017723336300925988,0.05688983191115824,0.0,0.029702575453998206,0.03133981044225704,0.023626330589378672,0.026316387067986412,0.0440017016083218,0.0,0.11199653812980764,0.0881838268171547,0.0503715729237699,0.0577226538912703,0.03125433181397308,0.028398412174228994,0.1144266384929966,0.031097371662834317,0.11074259725803703,0.028201666034177238,0.02344103198789538,0.021298384002545457,0.0,0.0,0.03916380653142877,0.029487922651330944,0.132563036393963,0.0,0.031690930938406955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03139467389429297,0.026074566092928155,0.0,0.041602280856187814,0.044473234372501495,0.16926710189024732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703873203364504,0.017727043924097876,0.02718137981635617,0.10981725648412984,0.14518866929586688,0.0635952346091021,0.0,0.026435732792383357,0.06147515353046407,0.11269904140492112,0.06018460803555645,0.0540506782427684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413537359930352,0.032635857326418966,0.04391944143455891,0.06657519391358524,0.0,0.024874759392815568,0.02564635279592773,0.02496396360310395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056374756682169,0.028095830299650137,0.056387361527219126,0.05895869353546894,0.0,0.0,0.10689470461597944
mentalhealth,PancakeBean,2018/02/21,"I don't know whats going on Im 17, about to be eighteen but lately ive been feeling more unsafe than usual. For the past few months I've been on edge because i hear something, like little biting sounds, so i assumed its a rat. My father and i cleaned the whole house and set up traps. Each month i get more anxious about it, i check on all the traps and nothing. No one seems to be able to hear it, i can hear it though.

I've been waking up from weird dreams and i wake up confused and anxious/scared. I feel i need to leave. Something bad is going to hurt me if i dont leave my room right now. But i stay put and i cant move, i feel my muscles twitching and i cant breathe. The walls feel like they breathe and theyre taking my breath away.

I move into another room but no matter where i go i get this weird scent and ive scrubbed the floors and every inch of the house clean for several days in a row, weeks. But i smell it, nothings ever clean enough nothing feels safe.

Ive been to psychiatric hospitals, short term and long term but over PTSD. I see my therapists and take my meds but i dont know if theyre helping or making everything worse. Im scared",0.6090619136960598,2.679342439024392,1.9146341463414631,98.18763602251407,83.95934959349594,4.760225140712946,19.624140087554718,5.873414542411696,-0.2944535334584115,904,25,210,6,26,288,137,246,0.145,0.753,0.102,-0.8926,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,2,8,0,16,6,5,1,2,39,37,23,0,3,9,1,5,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,7,14,0,1,9,1,1,6,7,6,0,1,4,12,32,3,23,31,9,39,0,1,1,0,6,19,0,6,14,119,39,0,0.09993849288399123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479422358658226,0.0,0.2258041011957485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389550383852344,0.0,0.08344446712449616,0.060921577666526575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445206020493989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342543387139618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326317839225464,0.0,0.0,0.09040008840026632,0.08420249056661687,0.0,0.08981827333291015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25265952408936165,0.07139607928497843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442747544541156,0.0,0.17039204576833356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379138343660477,0.0,0.0669866651671217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306312055784477,0.10698622360938634,0.0,0.21590144369238387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984716414332042,0.0,0.11273497298749173,0.21164086796986253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764979906971004,0.10016462465387928,0.0,0.08844242132136465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670972003517951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100913607362324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953990310232755,0.2124376038604708,0.0,0.07410312615743425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876810378347436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772090920671735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954025997339494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168227501165915,0.1004657885453646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534692686828058,0.0,0.0,0.10005586578792024,0.0,0.0796380397482488,0.09098025049429202,0.0,0.11290205059787425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387506875020046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652113617474107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028261829972572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603629299697996,0.0,0.0,0.098189061843078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006813070779116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016463079457517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157775829564057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184586223309564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sickgirl68,2018/02/21,"Atypical theft behaviour I suffer from ptsd, depression and anxiety.  Over the years that I've been on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds, and sleeping pills I have ruined my entire life and the lives of my loved ones by getting credit cards in someone else's name (inlaws).  I'm vanished from the family.  I have destroyed a 25 year old marriage.  I have no idea why I did it (three times).  What the hell is wrong with me????  I'm dying inside.",2.1032941176470565,4.791141270588239,3.5508823529411764,84.74397058823531,83.3529411764706,6.6941176470588255,22.617647058823533,7.908726449838941,1.5471411764705878,348,12,63,7,10,114,65,85,0.341,0.595,0.063,-0.9787,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,5,0,6,4,1,0,0,7,10,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,8,2,8,8,0,7,1,4,0,1,3,3,1,0,4,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299615790605335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714986161880094,0.0,0.2238230392882737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801578730637826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20330687834022948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267445961065105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434560734869637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523284021542421,0.0,0.0,0.19043343919300906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946433158082692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23955179162554985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22630092192012924,0.0,0.14613810813031794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520972604857783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21581768287890926,0.0,0.1827296571753764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575420826126466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946013517361068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23579247009867704,0.0,0.2777584300103558
mentalhealth,paranoidagnes,2018/02/21,"experiencing the worst withdrawals i’ve been off my regular dose of 20mg cipralex/escitalopram for about a week now. i stopped cold turkey because my dad said they’re making me stupid, so i thought, why not rid of them? maybe i’ll do better. what could possibly go wrong?

i didn’t expect withdrawals half as bad. i used to take various anti psychotics and getting refills was a pain so i had been used to withdrawals between refills. but these withdrawals are actually breaking me. i feel feverish, hot, disoriented. white static noise has become especially loud and pounding. the next minute i could be totally manic or obsessive and constantly on edge, pretty much the past 6 days. it’s becoming physically painful to be awake. i think i might see a doctor soon. i don’t want to be a disappointment or a burden anymore, i’m really trying to get better.",3.957246835443037,6.731989075949367,4.990363924050634,76.87263449367092,75.96202531645571,7.747468354430381,30.128164556962037,8.660442795831766,2.8392012658227856,686,32,116,15,16,224,117,158,0.203,0.725,0.07200000000000001,-0.9599,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,2,5,11,1,1,8,0,15,4,0,3,1,20,29,9,0,4,4,1,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,7,8,15,2,13,16,4,12,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,3,8,70,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.15322176485859587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571442715110756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109906234286006,0.09571349645763083,0.3468164256128217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27772998175929586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967496997091613,0.0,0.25072376053226003,0.0,0.0,0.10126021472851728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070917158972411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939034867510054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406533093799966,0.0,0.08923394684188535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048072094788339,0.0,0.1577403806648335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656568285744158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154224149352577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698480844092844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341452075000728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988640710631748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700824962277978,0.0,0.15973838280607194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058636864144706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493550517795676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511880892284952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312696640521962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805402457738412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006074107491416,0.0,0.12465056077876152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660132994355047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712171541836654,0.0,0.0,0.0926101700105227,0.0,0.12594613270824248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167955756740264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716687604853218,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pakimojoe,2018/02/21,Staying positive after breakup After a lengthy relationship I have been having troubles dealing with the highs and lows of being single. I'm almost 30. It was the correct decision to end my previous relationship but I can't figure out how to be on my own.  Some days I'm ecstatic about my dating life but on the slow ones I'm left with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy.  It's starting to affect my work and I can't shake it even after a couple of months.  I'm not looking for a quick fix but I have never been the best at expressing how I feel.  Maybe someone else has a better take on the situation. ,2.8645454545454534,5.006432666666669,4.889545454545456,79.43727272727277,76.5,7.696969696969697,26.74242424242424,8.575989854853784,2.1625833333333326,480,19,90,10,11,165,79,120,0.096,0.8009999999999999,0.103,0.2204,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,0,2,10,0,11,1,0,3,2,19,19,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,2,9,2,18,14,4,21,0,2,1,0,4,8,0,2,11,67,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749622098001866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217459704851016,0.18326512036652398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22927982154248155,0.0,0.13363674546772736,0.21362990661805964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310181907262126,0.0,0.18353127776848616,0.0,0.0,0.13686377128770555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477429706161442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21893437324327453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22514006254138133,0.0,0.14636231578949502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740086888343524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20817565079636524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539729959786098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598172370525415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404144705029542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4449434328756032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291871310114784,0.0,0.0,0.17557287681996347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666807723086056,0.22086397109189615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558001400272136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085522829165965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FreudianBananaSplit,2018/02/21,"Therapy with no insurance I don’t have any sort of health insurance because my job (neither of them) doesn’t offer it to me yet and I am too poor to do so on my own. 

Anyway, I am in dire need of receiving counseling. I have extreme suicidal ideation daily. And my depression has come back in full force and is throwing my entire life for a curve ball (like I may not be graduating college this semester because of it).

Are there any resources or anything of where I could find someone who could help me for a really low cost?",3.8194230769230764,5.329581326923076,5.1376923076923084,81.38230769230772,72.26923076923076,9.046153846153846,31.26923076923077,9.516144504307137,2.9818692307692305,414,19,81,10,8,138,76,104,0.174,0.8009999999999999,0.025,-0.945,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,14,2,0,0,0,13,16,5,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,1,2,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,13,1,13,12,3,11,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,3,3,62,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302769620870354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998353625614107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672778729955827,0.0,0.29606414425915073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918383211665006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877735029786477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091564109765469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194995433779974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581259288389457,0.0,0.0,0.1627695018671115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24097970235874466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152398687939827,0.11863860599976175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006164213950768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555685366125357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057562403109168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656258625038278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27770694420250325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kratom__,2018/02/21,"I need someone. I can't take this anymore. I'm mid panic attack.

I have a phobia of vomiting and the stomach flu made its way to my work.

I was doing fine but I ate some food I've been craving and I got hit with nausea

I'm so scared and tired and fed up with this shit. Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I live my life not worrying about the time I brushed my hand against my mouth without washing first? I'm trapped, I'm a prisoner of my own body and I'm done.

I'm on the prime time for incubation, I've touched my mouth countless times, many members of my work have been sick. No matter what I tell myself I know the odds are not in my favour and I'm so scared and confused and done. 

I need to vent. I need to just let my mind go off and be free of its enslavement for just a tiny moment of this fucked up world. 

Why am I nauseous? Why do I think I'll be sick? Why is every waking moment a battle with myself? 

Night time is always the worst since I'm alone. I feel helpless. I feel worthless. Who even stresses about something like this? Am I giving myself symptoms or are they real? 

It's going to be a long night. 

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mentalhealth,DowntoAbbey,2018/02/21,"Not sure of this is something or nothing. I want to know if I should be worried. For just over a year now I have seen people who aren't there but not like clearly.
I'll see what looks like a man until I get closer or stare for a long time and then I can see that it was a shadow or I was looking at a mailbox. Things that are obviously not people. And it's not in my peripheral vision it's like straight on.

Just want to know if someone has experienced something similar... ",1.6730303030303055,3.484643979797984,3.4797979797979792,89.70636363636366,78.89898989898991,6.016161616161617,24.131313131313128,6.937597516519254,0.7736949494949497,370,13,81,4,9,124,66,99,0.172,0.777,0.051,-0.8204,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,10,0,0,0,3,22,20,10,0,5,12,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,7,4,10,15,0,12,0,0,6,0,2,6,0,5,9,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621054267579815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444835231732808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260043229142032,0.0,0.0,0.1968436320705668,0.3735705138824125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342767237400975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084100386485864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.354495970617182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884642952510394,0.34247510374957096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963772948298254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777266963778088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970077545794995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26239006260957937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258885555742877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432376866763774
mentalhealth,throwaway_kaur2,2018/02/21,"Not cut out for life... Anon because someone on my other account went through my profile and found an old post.

I am starting to be convinced that I am just not cut out for life. That it isn’t for me and that the world will keep turning without me so why not die?

All my friends are in Canada (I’m in the US) and getting along fine without me. I am positive. I know they’ll be a little sad when I die but not for long and I want to make this as easy on them as possible. 

I’m all alone and my family does not love me, they love the submissive American Christian I used to be, why they adopted a desi child if they didn’t want her to act desi is beyond me. 

I’m addicted to harming myself (drugs and alcohol are out of the question, although I used to drink and I sometimes think about going back to it but I won’t because I made a commitment) and I’m barely getting through uni. 

I’m out of ideas and options other than suicide. ",2.078673076923078,3.511893902564104,3.746714743589745,89.90776442307694,76.64102564102566,6.516025641025642,27.572115384615394,7.1686216300943375,1.319211538461539,721,30,157,8,16,241,107,195,0.146,0.759,0.095,-0.9538,0,1,3,0,0,1,19.0,1,0,5,0,6,9,2,0,8,0,14,8,0,4,3,41,37,17,3,3,11,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,8,14,2,1,5,1,1,3,10,4,0,0,4,0,28,5,31,27,2,20,1,1,0,2,12,11,0,3,5,112,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280391869133905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979707115945967,0.0,0.14517187921040095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778061691198336,0.0,0.17089034564833186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909447164175212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266204896860715,0.0,0.0,0.13731137553930442,0.16255049568272728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321380101273795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368708693571922,0.1082935264307862,0.0,0.14646409414848735,0.0,0.07966076145867775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823272368658878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458784769891132,0.0,0.0,0.07703272209928037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800974871947424,0.0,0.14048525977555154,0.0,0.12404435775050338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530143657260659,0.13263044543202346,0.09356329523602476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708284223652993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801847221218826,0.1342422938486837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702035108221274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876397634715273,0.0,0.13862983508221952,0.0,0.09921170268793866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332115129984164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981405880055378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246264261932854,0.0,0.0,0.1686049659703794,0.24212046858365666,0.0,0.0,0.1653495541316341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993723307144228,0.2529598171634432,0.0,0.0,0.27023409316101765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MassiveEquinox,2018/02/21,I don’t feel like I belong in my body (USA) I don’t mean gender wise or any of that crap. What I mean is when I look In the mirror I don’t feel like what I see is correct.  I don’t know what I should be what I do see seems wrong and it throws me off. Is this feeling ever going to go away? 17 M.,-2.265457746478873,-0.7496958028168983,0.8346302816901421,104.88602992957749,91.53521126760565,3.5500000000000003,11.691901408450706,3.1291,-1.9733535211267603,222,2,64,0,8,78,45,71,0.086,0.768,0.146,0.4633,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,10,2,2,0,2,12,22,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,7,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,6,12,3,6,20,0,9,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,2,4,40,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091785845176908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085075674976376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24651068460669995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074552841557392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366386288117628,0.3170891514929311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522522700355678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219651849966453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21684448390280348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636264826185125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834867682540053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536939101310787,0.2020338562058765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426421561479577,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eriko_30,2018/02/21,"Do i have to see a therapist now? I'm the type of person who finds a bit of melanchoia beautiful... so for the longest time i refused to see a therapist although i think i need to see one. However... recently, i came to the point where i started saying... ""God, you don't even really care, do you?!"" Im not religious, but i consider myself faithful; and for me to start saying this... i'm scared of what might come next.. i actually stopped caring for several days. I let myself go, did not go to work... and just let the shitty feeling consume me.. now, i picked myself up like i always do; i'm fine.. but i know that if i pay attention; the emptiness is there... seeing a therapist.. that's quite intimidating.. i don't even share my deepest thoughts with my best friend.. sharing means being vulnerable.. its kinda embarassing.. would this feeling ever pass? 😧",2.535,4.832036097560977,4.452621951219513,81.39588414634147,78.26829268292683,7.7585365853658566,27.32317073170732,8.660442795831766,2.3505682926829268,656,28,124,15,16,223,104,164,0.131,0.721,0.14800000000000002,0.7029,1,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,2,0,3,9,10,0,1,9,0,13,0,0,1,1,27,35,7,0,3,6,0,2,1,1,2,0,2,0,1,7,5,0,2,8,0,1,5,4,1,0,1,3,8,23,9,14,27,2,18,1,0,4,0,10,3,0,3,11,85,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.12235881618702082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433133914406097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158505125108713,0.0,0.13688922451712074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340837691030442,0.2556791167382844,0.0,0.0,0.10800908427543188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086370766228525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563276742832075,0.11341897059302385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267980314614572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460068916622335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687304504782036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251970154951646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543858156816654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890896071104738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564317110126444,0.0,0.06125734988257767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658229895212678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301491332271334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297225738638117,0.0,0.0,0.13334961583887664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496491481115502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948236856197163,0.0,0.0,0.11853046043622725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336362745269387,0.0,0.0,0.08032559214336883,0.0,0.12380371763123055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19942423237884446,0.1255334314410497,0.0,0.39966617945325295,0.0,0.0,0.14165068401210393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749795505832558,0.0,0.0,0.10482845377429133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43674902766276025,0.0,0.08034239580954486,0.0,0.09954261437996936,0.07311368491601497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128262617597196,0.0,0.0,0.08907073871090736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayyikes19,2018/02/21,"Don't want talk therapy, just want medication I've tried psychotherapy three times in the past, and it's never worked for me, and I just don't see it working. All three times have been horrible, especially the first time which was traumatizing. I've been severely depressed, suicidal, and anxious with bpd (borderline) and ocd for many years, and have finally decided to give in and just try medication because I'm tired of not being okay and not functioning...is there any way for me to just be prescribed after one or two sessions of talking to someone, without having to constantly check back in and have more sessions? 

Sorry if this has been discussed before on here, and sorry if it's a dumb question! I'm just so exhausted from this shit and do not have the energy to try talk therapy again. BTW I'm in the PNW in the US. Thanks for any help. 

Also, I've done lots of research on psychiatrists in my area and they all only prescribe medication for patients they see every week, which is definitely not something I have an interest in doing. ",9.502058657642415,7.7995509035533,9.35884940778342,66.95077270163569,60.26903553299493,13.0195149464185,40.16300056401579,11.855464076750405,4.744416130851663,836,36,149,21,9,274,117,197,0.193,0.755,0.052000000000000005,-0.9786,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,2,3,11,7,2,0,7,1,19,6,1,0,3,33,28,16,1,4,13,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,12,0,0,2,0,1,0,8,4,0,5,5,2,8,3,26,21,4,24,0,1,2,0,10,10,2,5,13,106,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955661541931063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253167766641444,0.0,0.0,0.13500387794105326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189009231814636,0.0,0.0728476514971554,0.0,0.1016878769254764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050929114905934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913981348182335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292737996586608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229260945691275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068606104663846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090921342757414,0.0,0.10164881663294943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463774490662612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010004707629798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159680320480008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115683934419433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611587711938393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216774150248744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097802752196387,0.09088708200111656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140787156790912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387021683643816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045613681421936,0.0,0.0,0.13500387794105326,0.12266766071688302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125413143183312,0.09199890918595227,0.0,0.2675466645839034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071640477593624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881548935650949,0.0,0.1100219017295058,0.2733231846122637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20904871154830876,0.13735061337899798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434031820047021,0.0,0.11673663688525103,0.0,0.14374686592273087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097141238603253,0.09485556987687033,0.09585774548530827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519620354536868,0.0,0.17399857414520745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076955730704337
mentalhealth,idkwhyimlikethis1,2018/02/21,"Anyone else that has bipolar disorder that I can talk to? I've been having a hard time recently. My medicine hasn't been working and I haven't been able to find a good one in years. My psychiatrist also went to part time so I can't see him every other week like I used to. I'm currently doing therapy every other week and am taking lamictal, lexapro, and well butrin. I absolutely hate this lamictal but I can't do anything as of right now. I just want someone I can vent to that will understand what I'm going through. ",2.929333333333332,4.79055736190476,4.580952380952382,82.99904761904762,75.38095238095238,8.095238095238095,26.904761904761905,8.841846274778883,2.156904761904762,413,16,82,9,9,139,71,105,0.059,0.8690000000000001,0.07200000000000001,0.0396,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,2,0,15,1,0,1,0,9,25,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,1,1,1,4,2,11,3,9,20,1,12,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,9,55,18,1,0.18726444054827246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975530544967458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093965094646876,0.1918745492294512,0.15410267860681626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462127269859974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643541082990908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31555673562202635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115630607973434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642669707430916,0.15706852803068724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775215624656736,0.1848848655645445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914879465596268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689523135732328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278914032726586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490104329097906,0.0,0.0,0.15992280903270498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922551390812305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586685527804725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079955394512336,0.15051606386176722,0.0,0.0,0.21415320802477145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183908024488734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19494888684595552,0.0,0.16173635108176335,0.0,0.0,0.11045341888972447,0.0,0.30042447718179754,0.0,0.1683732216081018,0.17359601251039594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633074302786494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059216000723208
mentalhealth,NeonGiraffes,2018/02/21,"How do you keep going when you want to give up? Not on life. I'm not suicidal or anything. Just on making life better. It took me three trys at $350 each try to pass my certification test. Now that I've passed it I can't get a job. The one I have doesn't pay a living wage. I'm just so tired of resumes, cover letters, interviews, and getting my hopes up to just get another no. How to you keep going, keep trying to make things better, when you feel so defeated?",0.675918367346938,2.6595414897959238,2.9217959183673483,91.56963265306123,83.08163265306122,5.960816326530613,18.983673469387764,7.1686216300943375,0.2391722448979601,358,9,81,5,10,122,68,98,0.095,0.759,0.146,0.4962,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,3,10,4,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,4,0,18,21,8,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,1,0,2,5,5,1,0,2,1,1,9,3,11,20,1,13,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,49,13,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045257804131996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494641984674666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32127004728131925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183646976449014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846790772846343,0.17423392975487928,0.20644652146945736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803973809155921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023755955060214,0.4843173848171569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25657816402735223,0.0,0.0,0.16038066935173975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24247592522344655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230756935287116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867132684868807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206654355440895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087544302512068,0.0,0.0,0.2017951616774244,0.2466266990281086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712877849751916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mitchykahlo,2018/02/21,"fml rn i am waiting to find normalcy again. in the last 2 years, i have regressed to a dangerous degree. i was getting into fights, being arrested, fired and burning ample bridges. i think a lot of it had to do w recognizing childhood trauma and regretting things that happened as an adult--see an unwanted abortion and the loss of a close, dear friend.

i became OBSESSED w the notion of ""making it"" and went through v drastic lengths to try to achieve whatever it was that i was trying to do--mainly stop living in poverty and gain financial wealth and somehow tied into it, i was also thinking i'd become ""Famous"". i know, lame and actually no v smart, as in really i just proved how ridiculous i really am and just not v good at anything. i wanted to write a book, i wanted to travel the world, i wanted to ""be discovered"" or whatever! i recorded a demo and wrote 25 songs in a year.

i also was cutting myself and smoking copious amounts of marijuana. 

i was a v kind person before all of this traumatizing behaviour took place, and was able to receive help from strangers who loved and cared about me. then i ended up going to a homeless shelter after my mother kicked me out of her house.

idk how to fuckin move forward. i used to be sooo sweet, kind, loving, generous, trusting. now, i perceive ppl as being ""threats"" and when weird shit happens, i automatically assume the worse in ppl. 

i was so full of hope and the election got me straight buggin. lol. but srsly. i am sooo fucking scared! and idk what i'm doing anymore, tbh. i just want community and stability. and i don't want to live in poverty anymore--or basically ever again. what do i do? what's the answer? 

and i have v little resources in the way of social support, as well.",3.467056098816265,5.508348955223884,5.012485846628927,79.70044776119407,74.3731343283582,7.247555326814205,29.163664436438488,8.104835398774808,2.2199706639217704,1360,59,245,22,29,457,200,335,0.14800000000000002,0.722,0.131,-0.5802,0,0,0,0,1,1,56.0,0,0,0,3,18,30,8,2,18,1,23,5,1,4,3,56,49,31,0,8,6,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,12,22,0,2,8,3,1,7,3,15,1,0,13,3,32,15,42,32,4,39,0,3,0,4,13,19,3,5,14,170,44,2,0.12496112543277853,0.0,0.12194403256333805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986273372276367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392785837325462,0.0,0.0,0.10283235885325252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800974534349192,0.1063327139215136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740619560115568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067846670637596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303449211339354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421220478389445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654465552989053,0.1155245468658548,0.06528703045837507,0.0,0.07101828731371371,0.1048114632725752,0.09994282742464884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22100542105950355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375880831011717,0.0,0.0,0.12411459333210773,0.0,0.14418836114756886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26025556520434084,0.06867536652209856,0.10185999556695248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524387614920285,0.22068592630218087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062374801908149,0.22556458902230836,0.0,0.08341252156542113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281390031297727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911123475260152,0.13055777945747596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010659352945594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251078862027984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827079951712253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738213065312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447309625060372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418044042847838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301861914948616,0.1601400869364569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883640827191024,0.16968080301030658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792629073301437,0.0,0.0,0.3685265470568652,0.09918832490692343,0.0,0.0,0.11235505899192524,0.11584021520812915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734606254361475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609417355345571
mentalhealth,DKMJ22,2018/02/21,"Can someone help me understand these fear of mine I have a question with regards to Schizophrenia. My cousin was recently diagnosed with it, and as a hypochondriac and anxiety sufferer I have fears that I might develop the same illness in my late years. I’m 28 this year and I am scared of developing another mental illness other than my depression and anxiety disorder


Is schizophrenia genetic? Does it manifest it symptoms during your childhood or teenage years or you can still develop it in your later years. I’m a girl btw I’ve read it somewhere that female develop the disease in there late 20s up to 30


I am really scared, recently, been having anxiety attack due to my loud thoughts and I always think I am developing schizophrenia. I am so scared. ",5.24195652173913,7.744857615942031,5.99644927536232,72.55380434782613,70.66666666666667,10.397101449275363,35.413043478260875,10.504223727775694,4.631495652173913,613,33,98,20,12,200,85,138,0.252,0.73,0.018000000000000002,-0.9849,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,3,8,1,5,5,0,13,4,0,0,0,15,18,9,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,10,7,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,3,1,17,0,13,14,1,16,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,4,12,69,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568725457008246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578905583715707,0.3190814161168425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817101251462504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974960324796967,0.14111637451200829,0.0,0.0,0.15934477351845308,0.0,0.12166941026885797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31290334442419804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931914215703476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313672351569924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011336349332887,0.1474928843569642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557496689238518,0.0,0.13907141875610055,0.0,0.0890686087518844,0.0,0.274558197293916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175912480177365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780288267515275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103256767480824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450934730109027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890872414084051,0.0,0.11037730239852482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473908309064834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35813282034607596
mentalhealth,Idycass,2018/02/21,"My best friend may be admitted to a mental facility soon, and its crushing me. *POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING* 
My best friend has major depressive disorder, dissociation disorder and self harms regularly. She sees a talk therapist once a week (which I don't think helps, at all) and her therapist told her that she should look into being evaluated for either an IOP (intensive outpatient program) or inpatient care. I believe if she could benefit from this, she should do what is best for her, as she has been suicidal on and off for a while. I myself have depression and anxiety and have self harmed in the past (not to the extent she does) and all of her illnesses and problems are starting to get to me. I want to support her through her illness and struggles, but im almost unable to handle it without having more frequent panic attacks or feeling more hopeless about life. I love her and would do anything for her, but the thought of walking through this with her freaks me out more than it should. I know its selfish to only focus on my feelings when she is the one being hospitalized, but Its all I can think about right now. Sometimes I wish we never became as close as we are, and I wish I could have a normal friendship where I don't have to research visiting hours for a mental facility.",8.680564738292013,7.733573351239674,8.560950413223143,69.60384986225897,61.35537190082646,11.703030303030305,39.588154269972456,10.864195022040775,4.356205509641873,1029,47,179,22,12,334,142,242,0.17,0.688,0.142,-0.6699,0,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,2,0,0,3,6,20,1,2,11,0,27,4,0,1,4,51,45,22,1,12,9,0,2,0,2,5,3,0,0,2,10,17,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,11,0,1,3,4,36,9,33,32,12,22,0,3,2,1,28,10,0,5,10,152,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495192867097588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878188679033629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446758719103504,0.0,0.0,0.1305973825414819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933613771571315,0.3614149553584301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704249543478752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331103531163676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19774779835995224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631330483675199,0.0,0.10045903015895112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608893372123773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738269871089135,0.0,0.05997633732268734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694555114061664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305124778543622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399972095579916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308905335975802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108403326715549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639999366033138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360815757948023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313753732798548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853799624536443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124760165941732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225433051516865,0.07778895500551197,0.08730777161063245,0.0,0.1346887431526503,0.0,0.0,0.10958607356347973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941559837874814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984457129955512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803542704587402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091477801513173,0.0,0.23951518849041395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353649234262625,0.0,0.08125342366488024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200100349476656,0.0,0.12556853804372578,0.13026949955472986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226893078731964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26657474273996123,0.0,0.14711368866913027,0.0,0.0911354524199187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969279989407243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770984173568698,0.0,0.0920826806810523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640201971845985,0.11065955258006216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154800956713036,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BubbleBathBitch,2018/02/21,"I don't know what to do anymore I'm at the end of my rope. Every day is worse than the last. I just want to die so bad. I have no insurance so I can't get to therapy or get meds. I have a stupid retail job like the loser I am and can't afford out of pocket.
I feel absolutely trapped. I'm either shouting or crying. I don't know what to do. 

Tl;dr: I'm extremely depressed/suicidal and I have no resources",-1.5881282051282068,0.3742929222222244,1.9255555555555581,93.58807692307691,97.55555555555556,4.991452991452992,18.034188034188034,6.67199483983844,0.14631623931623938,313,10,73,5,13,113,55,90,0.317,0.643,0.04,-0.9803,2,1,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,4,0,11,0,0,0,0,11,20,6,1,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,0,2,10,1,9,20,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,46,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523668688010578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124726685351771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27952446129646435,0.16411275302294234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410073811558965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253857885792228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144028056564234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866819134694946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26590120520722593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25252321718850673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797012300615592,0.20742784128406405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432168426044354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826599316424089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783499884487448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29100978339332106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009359795549942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593277046834817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wthhappened2me_,2018/02/21,"Can anyone tell me what happened to me recently? (20/f if that matters. this'll probably be overly long, so sorry in advance.)
A couple weeks ago, I had this random thought come into my mind that my boyfriend (who I've been with for 2 years) was conspiring against me with the kids who used to bully me when I was younger. I don't even know where it came from, it was bizarre, but I tried my best to ignore it for the first week or so. Until about 5ish days ago, it became all I could think about. I was just obsessed with finding proof of this because I was *convinced* it was true, so I kept checking all the social media pages of the kids who bullied me (seriously so many years ago) because I had this feeling like I *knew* I'd see him in pictures with them + that would be my proof. 

So I obsessively checked all their pages, each time having this ""feeling"" that I'd find proof yet never finding anything, so I'd have to continue on checking til I found it (because in my mind, it was completely true and I literally could visualize this ""picture"" of him + them so I knew I'd see it eventually). I confronted him about it multiple times and he had no idea what I was even talking about, eventually had enough of trying to reassure me that I was paranoid + told me he'd talk to me the next day so I could calm down. In my mind, that translated as ""I figured out the truth, that this was all a game to him/them, now he's mad that I found out and doesn't want to talk."" So I broke up with him, blocked him on everything, etc.

The whole time this was going on, I couldn't do anything but think about it, continuously check social media to find ""proof"", felt nauseous/couldn't eat/sleep, kept having panic attacks + genuinely felt suicidal. Yet today, I woke up and all that was gone. I know that it's nearly impossible for what I thought to be true, he likely has never even met these people who used to pick on me so many years ago + most are off at colleges in different states now anyway, yet it felt *so* real to me. It felt like this gut instinct that I *knew* was true, nothing could convince me otherwise. I'm obviously looking back on it + feel really embarrassed, also I pretty much ruined my relationship over something really weird. I've struggled with anxiety/depression on and off, yet never felt anything like this. **So does anyone know what this could've been?** Also, should I still consider therapy even though whatever this was is over now? I really don't want to experience whatever this was again, so. :(",3.676592442645073,5.299444378542511,4.6852226720647785,84.03258434547911,72.82591093117409,7.90067476383266,27.64642375168691,8.5409612609427,1.955255330634278,1969,74,393,35,39,642,221,494,0.14400000000000002,0.765,0.091,-0.9777,1,0,1,0,0,0,88.0,0,0,3,3,39,27,3,5,9,0,43,1,1,3,18,89,81,29,1,10,5,0,8,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,46,17,0,4,26,1,4,5,8,13,0,1,40,11,56,14,60,30,14,68,0,2,3,0,29,25,0,4,41,273,102,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251739399463635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355307930153904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992859686873452,0.0,0.1752742612210813,0.0,0.0,0.08076971309420533,0.0,0.05459256484750805,0.0,0.12983794132814558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450731830449285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120203233114945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115791380078905,0.0744393503803393,0.0,0.0,0.2834279569963776,0.07855719594656288,0.0,0.09157480958195953,0.0,0.06114989683453605,0.0,0.0,0.07417709949235557,0.0,0.0,0.062130242473147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264799373314627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335922131914924,0.07918079094447589,0.1875722691460968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380782283210266,0.06944901267160611,0.0,0.0,0.10769515078640636,0.05072050718496099,0.3408428563446144,0.0,0.25956109586730897,0.06039029316124521,0.0,0.15568981696615278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040349419128730316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278270500005048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014734445166724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705482851390492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874283812016813,0.0,0.0,0.06283040344807049,0.05961987659098016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396029956563364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506119460425926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219120706747544,0.0,0.1642725546754921,0.0,0.07550646656762189,0.0,0.0,0.06812385354398645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330007025985559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049220609658276925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222980924746449,0.07654713050377761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808105055458469,0.13644812396818684,0.0,0.07010129881112494,0.07622456308277617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315136090665184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104860404882378,0.1447456753365249,0.0,0.05465721373143373,0.0,0.07947569899843729,0.0,0.0,0.056698559948700974,0.0,0.0,0.07422182514316203,0.0,0.07765955637149982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119489507763455,0.062054796300909924,0.0,0.08119163504924326,0.0,0.0,0.09098444543681182,0.0697545168666459,0.11272790007608845,0.12419734329982075,0.0,0.06729716793322095,0.06784099193665033,0.0,0.09640505421538537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263779667225767,0.0,0.0,0.08375213016093012,0.0,0.11389955226999335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926598418278379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050434466663591165,0.0,0.0,0.1371598595521565
mentalhealth,sociallyawkwardoreo,2018/02/21,"Small panic attacks over nothing? I'm a 17 year old girl, and while this isn't a common occurrence, it still concerns me. Most of these panic attacks are caused by sounds, like banging. The best example is what happened last night, which left me shaking for hours. 

My parents have been issues the past few weeks(well more so than usual) and my dad was looking for a carpet remover, a big sharp metal scraper. He seemed fine, they hadn't argued in the past couple of days, all seemed well. He couldn't find the carpet remover in our spare bedroom where I was picking tacs off the floor our cat had knocked over, so he went to my mom's room to look. I could hear them talking, heard the moment he found it, when everything fell silent and then very shortly after I heard thudding. The sound was very heavy and rhythmic, which already sent chills down my spine, and lasted about 1 1/2 minutes. I couldn't think of any reason for my dad to use that in the house, we have brand new carpet from just a few months ago, and there's not even carpet in the area outside my mom's room. I couldn't come up with any plausible theories as to what the sound was, so I laid out all the evidence. Dad and mom were fighting, dad found a carpet remover, and thudding immediately followed it's discovery. Now my dad has never been violent with my mom or any other women so there's no reason for my mind to have jumped to such drastic conclusions. My mind put the image of my dad brutally murdering my mom over the audio of the thudding. Almost immediately I couldn't breath, my chest felt like it caved in, my thoughts ran in circles trying to figure out what to do. So there I was, sitting in a room with no door, frozen shut windows, miles of forest around me, and a handful of tacks. I thought that if I could make it to my room which was right next door, I could lock it, break a window, start up the snow machine, and get into town. All this went through my head in about thirty seconds before the backup generator to the logical side of my brain kicked. ""If this is you being a panicky little shit and you leave the room before you finish picking up these tacks not only will dad be mad, but your little shit of a cat could eat them,"" was soon the only thing in my head. I managed to slow my breathing down, but my body refused to stop trembling for most of the night. I don't know what my dad was doing but considering that my mom still drove me to jazz band this  morning I'd assume he didn't kill her. 

A few other short examples, back when I lived in town, where guns aren't allowed to be shot off willy nilly, I heard a gun like sound right next to my window, which was about 1-2 yards away from my neighbor's yard. I sat up all night debating if I should call the cops, my dad(who didn't hear it) tried to convince me it was a firework or something, but that help at all. I never found out what it was, but considering cops never showed up at their house I assume nobody died. Most of the panic attacks include my brain painting a situation out to be the worst it could possibly be, and me believing for either a few seconds or hours. I'm not sure if some of these sounds actually happened, with or without malicious background, or if I'm being delusional. Idk if it's normal or if I should seek help. Advice and thoughts appreciated. ",7.576721124620062,6.136729823708213,7.260074088145895,79.63549107142859,63.832826747720354,9.805547112462008,33.48043313069909,8.278499904357787,2.389083434650457,2616,85,526,26,32,827,303,658,0.1,0.847,0.053,-0.9804,4,0,1,2,2,0,76.0,3,4,4,2,25,26,12,5,39,0,48,13,12,8,9,104,83,41,3,19,24,15,3,3,1,3,0,11,19,2,34,25,1,2,19,5,0,14,19,18,1,2,34,16,64,8,81,31,17,107,0,0,2,0,49,54,2,22,40,347,98,1,0.0,0.0,0.0616623699713092,0.0,0.0,0.06174657923529599,0.05601234668361157,0.0,0.06327365138250042,0.0,0.06972952582000923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891001405005167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625071385153012,0.0,0.21565640568020814,0.059367203085185935,0.04858766923415799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075366626485174,0.07119123431505646,0.06631190433010165,0.0,0.0,0.07018761981327122,0.0,0.1410774040742017,0.0645220096503693,0.0,0.0,0.0649114787248502,0.0,0.05443086425970557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522523692506408,0.06991631668664422,0.0,0.040751030571449236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557916465752155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465709570325154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041735075995367056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056789297205175636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060670386200598864,0.0,0.057752684396142874,0.0,0.0,0.2078471313174616,0.0,0.0,0.033013120378493875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175387390898202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969822906140238,0.0,0.1424349296824187,0.0,0.08470716471823776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445489733724605,0.14582092922046233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595185197992127,0.0,0.0,0.0699081564609442,0.0,0.03472647057330498,0.10301330208451172,0.0,0.06690696506352245,0.06865394348964797,0.0,0.0,0.09261139057151434,0.12666194590115287,0.05579615889788669,0.0,0.10612400614169316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04217847857651666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760372794015018,0.44403010948003785,0.05043605625651282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620343581800546,0.061027361130652026,0.1344023030562955,0.17789296378305072,0.061910820854882774,0.06063058719071199,0.0,0.06630517335454034,0.0,0.0,0.09611463796638234,0.0,0.22241249915295366,0.07016279273377837,0.0,0.12064018577503695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123497230492429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352138950064344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299355694658575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079244081548219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504795835857055,0.0,0.0,0.1297231415113689,0.0,0.07102595596014186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864520708015062,0.0,0.0,0.04472478941455413,0.0,0.10092403185436012,0.05282799475822568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059553939254920564,0.0,0.0,0.050788118368883056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041979297394843365,0.04048831697764515,0.0,0.15049263405165544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580100421737237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457414134105818,0.06959265142422379,0.10427343000755206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056813597763464986,0.11715181231208922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091097411802032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040690998287275286
mentalhealth,RuudyHeck,2018/02/22,"Odd date/one night stand. Feel super guilty and anxious! Gonna get super honest here cause I feel super guilty. M 30 Uk

So to preface this I have intimacy issues since I woke up next to a girlfriend and she died(natural). I also have to take beta-blockers for a heart condition.

So met this chick on pof and went on a date. Drinking was the choice, now I usually start off pretty awkward the first round or so then come into myself. But with beta blockers I seemed to have stayed awkward due to it making me more sleepy with the booze. So basically the whole time out I was awkward.

Get to her place still 'awkward', watch netflix 'awkward', get the balls to go to the bedroom 'awkward' and then when it comes to getting intimate eventually.......act like a blindman fumbling through nettles or acting like a dead fish due to the blockers. She sucks me off, I get hard but go nowhere, we spoon and then I leave in the morn.

My brain wont let go of what a shit night I gave her. She was super nice and patient.

To try and get rid of guilt I have: messaged her explaining(cept the death thing), said a lame bye via message and laid out all I had done wrong that night and what I should have done instead. No replys.

So now I'm like, can't message her again (verging in to creepy by a fourth message).

It's been five years away from the dating scene becuase of the death. So want to get opinions here.

I feel guilty because she was super interesting and I feel like I never had a chance(due to my hang ups) to show the real me. And because that must have been one shitty night from her perspective.

Should I feel guilty? what would she be thinking? Any way I can make ammends? Any perspective?",2.2201229946524035,4.616760384848488,2.8916577540106982,91.6180748663102,80.0,5.215686274509804,23.645276292335115,6.37848985222837,0.5649447415329765,1317,46,266,11,34,411,180,330,0.16699999999999998,0.718,0.115,-0.9498,0,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,1,0,0,6,15,23,2,7,21,0,25,5,3,3,3,44,57,26,3,5,4,0,7,4,1,6,0,1,1,1,11,19,2,2,7,4,0,8,4,11,0,3,15,9,35,12,37,34,3,48,0,1,2,0,21,14,2,4,28,170,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643592918031091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700368241191314,0.0,0.0,0.1221058410407602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015498780175805,0.0,0.0,0.1317758258438803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065915547861646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103357416031223,0.0,0.18621216222813308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22121797030638773,0.0,0.10588263392413387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27325636268355424,0.07721629732976021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193746457552664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952914608127489,0.0,0.18428242839718464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968233709893198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808182884348074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281317251857788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444693008323058,0.0,0.11052473894176376,0.0,0.21122044780810548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429581087949905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833621949578555,0.0,0.11495014731504552,0.4057236506253732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732415268893874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292633467906707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996180315361274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302495321747342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281405455144102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839697282622904,0.0,0.0,0.1109482046647405,0.08940943619474695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650346779673832,0.11520475361037423,0.08631721380866345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126683884004254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180719838852967,0.0692568191955631,0.0,0.0,0.06302551978849813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338295438609163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904089961774544,0.0,0.06375162378526729,0.08579323286011889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001963342686071,0.0,0.12067359225084234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678083263959241,0.11817451833745556,0.0,0.06960351334990708
mentalhealth,Kitty0Katt666,2018/02/22,"Advice? I think I might be depressed. I have days when I'm happy as can be, but recently I just want to sleep all day, be alone and I'm having self harming thoughts... 
I'm being reckless, rolled a car at my scrap yard job for a laugh, I don't take care when crossing roads, I find myself walking around dangerous areas alone at night for no reason. 

I don't feel like I can tell anyone about any of the thoughts in my head, and I'm scared if I tell my doctor the thoughts in my head they'd lock me up or call me a liar and laugh at me. 

Does anyone know what I can do? Or even just shared your own experience of opening up to a doctor to ease my mind. I really need help, but I'm too scared people will judge me...",2.425133689839569,3.170294816993465,3.716898395721927,93.18786096256686,74.68627450980392,6.609387997623291,21.752228163992868,6.574015621080383,0.17393333333333327,549,12,131,4,11,180,93,153,0.234,0.63,0.136,-0.9535,1,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,8,12,2,2,6,0,15,5,3,1,1,25,30,11,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,8,1,0,3,3,6,0,0,3,1,23,6,17,20,2,20,0,1,0,0,8,11,0,4,7,78,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701488300040787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904375316425909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534990014233513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19608089772023865,0.0,0.0,0.12481962681183136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431735281967343,0.0,0.14295687607745766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808520489731514,0.0,0.12076557065755927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287028652355742,0.12270166550999795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926096089101176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715558130187666,0.0,0.0,0.07089609312541442,0.10016845998623544,0.0,0.0,0.12815248056646558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492597402810558,0.0,0.0,0.2877987396271825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398206675497292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914013506143902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705760159582517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685011704335715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487442284916312,0.14157553398635447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396643767688864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158075001180347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720629667747313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982427558713912,0.1441626975003265,0.13844378801928384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807560888199678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627312495558795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031463103848224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542300493628093,0.0,0.2451053321511248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984306632495,0.0,0.33394126285823433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270147879430717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Weenars,2018/02/22,"Do I listen to my doctor or my phycologist? Just for some background, I am diagnosed with GAD and Panic Disorder. I'm currently on 10mg of Ecitalapram. 
I went to my doctor about a week ago to talk about upping the dosage of my medication. I've been on it for about 3 months now. I have had amazing success with this medication and dose in the past but this time around it doesn't seem to be doing the best it can. After some discussion, we decided I would try 15mg the next time I pick up my prescription.
A few days ago my appointment with my phycologist was moved up and I saw him yesterday. He told me to go straight to 20mg and if that wasn't working he would have to change the medication. 
I'm not sure who to trust at this point. I just need some advice on some more experience in upping doses as this is my first time. Thanks everyone!",3.94684108527132,4.868112017441863,5.298837209302324,82.60178294573646,71.26744186046511,9.221705426356593,26.54263565891473,9.516144504307137,2.0929286821705437,665,21,142,15,12,223,105,172,0.037000000000000005,0.838,0.125,0.952,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,4,7,7,0,1,7,0,15,8,0,1,1,26,25,8,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,0,9,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,7,2,19,6,31,15,7,31,0,0,1,0,9,13,0,7,15,100,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659163194557714,0.2659561521023812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354397998595385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743010209725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869458238206602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674641330605224,0.0,0.0,0.1522607274811576,0.0,0.0,0.17192867390577268,0.30709071629716816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334449997674314,0.0,0.14674216445104385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276015596106134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525623143542534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4533690012132254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973948819685913,0.15944080111233794,0.0,0.1112332429359362,0.0,0.0,0.1595412505945273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600873127823174,0.0,0.0,0.1432050320033854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181141634776034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656682019195274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413861181021703,0.0,0.0,0.12057531360188915,0.0,0.13811244161065678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26242254963455,0.0,0.0,0.14334449997674314,0.0,0.1018494415930673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033192544533475,0.0,0.0,0.1390641843232208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921174572609092,0.0,0.0,0.2131308284005365,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SHD25,2018/02/22,"I have no idea who or what I am anymore... I am at an utter loss with this. I really have no fucking clue who I am. I've been pretty much everything but myself for the last 7-8 years and don't know what to do about that. I'm 26 but feel 90. 
What do I do?",-1.5150000000000006,-0.14000383333333133,1.879999999999999,99.395,87.33333333333331,5.333333333333334,15.0,6.42735559955562,-0.7979999999999992,190,3,53,2,6,69,42,60,0.092,0.8690000000000001,0.04,-0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,0,10,1,0,0,0,8,14,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,5,13,1,3,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,1,2,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36109688245480337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272364166705569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841037335336896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366115921621284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110331404510665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010400468537928,0.29679627590518065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26766096733015426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704283096624697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23325664036659416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344733449010209
mentalhealth,burdwuh,2018/02/22,"I was raised without sufficient structure or routine. I feel like I can't manage anything. Hi all,

I'm trying to find any writing on the subject of developing structure as an adult. I was raised by young parents and, although they were emotionally attentive, I was never given chores, time-outs, groundings, help with homework, etc. 

I find that I have a lot of issues with time management and self-discipline/self-control. In addition, because this caused me to have bad grades my entire life, I have a very low self-esteem about my intelligence / sense of control. A lot of work and authority figures make me very emotional, and it is a frustrating thing to manage. I've dealt with an extraordinary amount of anxiety and depression since I was around 12 (I'm 23 now) and lately it's become clear that this aspect of my upbringing might be a major culprit.

I am currently working on this in weekly therapy, but I just wanted to touch base on here to see if anyone else feels similarly / has any resources or readings to offer.",7.521067821067826,7.894318682539684,7.780750360750363,69.88116883116885,63.23280423280422,10.682251082251083,36.75853775853776,10.436869588844218,4.026741798941798,817,37,136,18,11,267,126,189,0.056,0.8859999999999999,0.059,-0.1406,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,3,5,5,1,0,8,0,14,1,0,3,3,34,22,12,0,2,6,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,8,11,0,1,6,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,4,17,1,25,14,6,15,0,2,1,0,7,8,0,6,8,91,25,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747940977068874,0.0,0.09982677667647058,0.0,0.0,0.0912437295234342,0.13370548451729358,0.10738460828328833,0.11616642314932868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895619213570963,0.07954731272405742,0.14411925009068782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405224198047186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927179583997853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239341713483167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901014482990323,0.293574089458909,0.0,0.0,0.14553417301371807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196234861456027,0.09322421486261527,0.0,0.0,0.23853644920061645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746669745748499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620077364356895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720177143576368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217105474298516,0.06375228122422387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188093947304072,0.0,0.0,0.08710508106700672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843243590231125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064423499849884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489701751276587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052829868187704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398601440135767,0.0,0.4083979297882701,0.0,0.0,0.10794514602232697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923010141195853,0.0,0.08669374112393123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218301839827955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859617132024616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534075861616286,0.07696814376137905,0.0,0.10467360169381268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579058129836124,0.0,0.1900008951092869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,noobiepoobie,2018/02/22,"Intrusive thoughts I have incredibly terrifying intrusive thoughts that give me physical reactions. About 4-5 times a day I will be ""day dreaming"" and jump and make an audible noise because I just visualized myself dying or a loved one dying or someone getting hurt really bad.

What do?",6.674400000000002,9.11472224,7.693000000000001,62.17150000000001,66.6,12.2,40.5,11.698219412168324,6.1060000000000025,232,14,34,9,4,78,41,50,0.203,0.726,0.071,-0.8067,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,10,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,5,1,1,6,0,4,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149500172208256,0.15693184485200606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320524878012556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5343601000293374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450075492620078,0.24695803403590835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755927552742167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323478897348657,0.0,0.17184189634723931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444668414594725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492140588400545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181264229925867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40875410864354816,0.15011419628488634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,apc67,2018/02/22,"It feels like my brain is broken I'm 22 m and have been treated for depression, anxiety, and ADHD since age 13 (earlier for the ADHD). I was doing incredibly well this last fall and this last month I've spiraled down dramatically. My meds or life haven't changed at all. The only other relevant thing I can think of is that I have sleep apnea. I am struggling  with getting CPAP supplies due to my insurance, so I essentially never get restful sleep. This isn't anything new though. 

I can't think straight. I have to read something several times to comprehend it. When I try to talk, I have trouble conveying my thoughts into words. I keep having to write myself notes or set alarms for the simplest things because I can't remember them. Sometimes I won't drive because I feel like it's not safe with my brain processing to slow. This is worse then the regular depression brain foggyness. I have no idea what's going on and it's freaking me out. 

Has anyone experience this? How do I get back to normal?

",3.4056188831318366,5.751268839378241,4.488039723661483,81.983032527346,75.63212435233159,7.812204951065055,28.338802533103053,8.680891452615391,2.3994654001151403,798,34,148,17,18,260,125,193,0.179,0.7829999999999999,0.038,-0.9752,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,0,2,4,0,21,6,5,1,2,26,32,11,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,8,0,2,7,1,0,3,8,6,1,0,3,2,23,5,18,28,2,22,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,2,14,98,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051776591248413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712887850493407,0.0,0.0,0.0887777950393103,0.0,0.1044824536912636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762925409862197,0.0,0.15479496644491153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42520917180314177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134313519295166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21871179098616572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241974126688086,0.0,0.0,0.1283959610090312,0.18140951236870015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990039676005604,0.0,0.07215787907848085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332950794047136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285348877275787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698897484213086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968005855600418,0.12405865006556994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103094627371007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134329614102584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792424436454164,0.12262485195738047,0.0,0.0,0.1244000248615828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965635989595912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270006674182843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382807696414246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343578911829644,0.0,0.10502784245132507,0.0,0.2541160041632161,0.0,0.0,0.0977448673205617,0.12557292565828024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273275301876605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205070939975708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870154740254673,0.16270976766496753,0.12474375348956042,0.10079706670014488,0.0740350755410329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620178920586938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141579594109614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293895154293365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maslover51,2018/02/22,"Does my therapist actually think I'm smart or is she just being nice? My therapist has been saying she thinks what I say is ""profound"". She says it's not fair that I can't afford to finish my education because I have potential that could do good for the world or something. It's really nice and all but I think she just says these things because she knows I am insecure about my intelligence, or rather lack thereof and she wants to make me feel better. Opinions?",4.3619047619047615,6.0706838888888885,5.157619047619047,80.985,71.2222222222222,8.6984126984127,27.301587301587304,9.23628265651192,2.288492063492064,370,13,71,8,7,120,63,90,0.085,0.7490000000000001,0.166,0.7801,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,0,10,0,0,1,1,21,18,6,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,7,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,16,5,4,15,2,2,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,4,1,50,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.1866685019380565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332135387617824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691777916999468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272709076946567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739652789168058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672044614025728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044244579877354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512632327513527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768554652648248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254333949890316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6084763463452749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726206495701225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44419786143347934,0.1270825717654652,0.3677069246475672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128260186537276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theaddictedlawyer,2018/02/22,"President Trump Stigmatizes Mental Health. Dear President Trump. It's a ""mental health treatment facility/center"" not a ""mental institution"". This is not 1960",6.88625,10.872181791666673,6.908333333333335,56.22,85.25,10.733333333333334,31.0,9.516144504307137,5.49445,129,6,14,5,4,41,17,24,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5752043820786878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8180097302828828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway99169,2018/02/22,"Every time I get romantically interested in someone, it blows up into a gigantic unhealthy obsession It’s hard to put it into words, but when I start to get a crush, probably 80% of my thoughts are about that person. I can’t stop thinking about them, to the point where it’s creepy/stalkerish.


I also just asked out my crush and we went on one date, but now I’m getting obsessed, and I’m worried it’s going to ruin any relationship we could possibly have in the future.


And yes, I do have things to distract. I have school, work, and passions/hobbies, and other friends as well. But no matter how much I engross myself in them, I’m still thinking about her WHILE I do them. I’ve tried blasting loud music, static, white noise, etc through my headphones to drown out my thoughts of her, but it doesn’t work. 


Now I’ve been seriously contemplating suicide because I don’t want to be like this, but I can’t stop it. Death would be my only escape. This obsessiveness isn’t just a piece of me that can be removed, it IS me. I feel like I have to kill myself to kill it.


This exact same thing happened with my previous romantic interest about seven months ago.  So I think that I can probably never actually find love because I’ll either be with someone I’m not interested in, or way too obsessed with. So I feel like there’s no point in even living anymore for me. 



What do I do?



EDIT: I texted her thanking her for the date and telling her I had fun. 8 hours and no response. I know there’s probably other possible explanations, but it’s beginning to look like she’s ghosting me. Which is weird because we are coworkers and will see each other all the time. My suicidal contemplations have tripled now. ",3.94114345114345,5.567396933933935,5.032027027027028,81.7973544698545,72.15315315315314,8.005959805959806,29.32420882420882,8.617729084823388,2.2500797874797875,1341,55,260,24,26,441,177,333,0.224,0.652,0.124,-0.9912,0,0,0,0,0,4,43.0,3,0,3,2,21,22,2,5,7,1,29,1,0,1,3,51,55,22,7,3,11,0,3,4,1,2,0,1,0,1,23,19,0,2,9,0,0,4,10,10,1,2,5,7,44,12,35,43,8,38,0,1,3,1,18,14,0,1,23,186,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.10400329728859484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447364327186933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522919439080942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724756796349898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569525728975664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963464756393613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490414894647504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509266887774074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886097787809287,0.0703927779313037,0.0,0.08979530401577965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777656872340176,0.15227655623457484,0.0,0.0,0.09740899688515346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234074517328173,0.0,0.16704547885912704,0.0,0.06056988516087191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424525343995002,0.0,0.0954716167903699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495639149784312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358222294306283,0.0,0.05857166120114336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827159233745493,0.0,0.09410900852689652,0.0,0.08949742416117548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961894588719704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506835133568617,0.0,0.07834599572298102,0.0,0.08219837267077162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221899957497327,0.08105623633063781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930584953356068,0.0,0.0,0.20149849595897956,0.2402979971551866,0.0,0.0,0.34472250189396825,0.0,0.0,0.10713882647543298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144232837065546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786111524593348,0.0849276778191867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060385757992103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543540042032076,0.0,0.08511213640828677,0.17820546458258105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331548018601684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315256493868856,0.09812132892574847,0.0,0.0,0.14160939156096894,0.20486976754056885,0.0,0.1692196841855695,0.1242912369561084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235845259784372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286158531355249,0.08459547077463082,0.0,0.0,0.09582507939570917,0.09879749002074556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517793328357354,0.1082336165201237,0.0,0.07570889296367588,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2copsinthetrunk,2018/02/22,"What makes me violent? Background; I had a decent big city upbringing, no struggles, I saw a decent amount of dead bodies growing up though because mob controlled area. Iq of 140, I suffer from paranoid personality disorder, and anxiety. I don't want to ask a professional because I don't want to worry them, but when I get in a bad mood I want to kill people. Usually the thought is slowly with a knife or just a stick/bat. I can control it very easily, so don't worry about that, I just wonder why I have those thoughts. It makes me feel insane. Sorry for English, not first language",3.3934513274336315,5.5165292743362855,4.793991150442476,80.81859734513273,74.84070796460179,7.351858407079646,28.1141592920354,8.238735603445708,2.1342715044247798,460,19,84,8,10,153,83,113,0.29600000000000004,0.622,0.08199999999999999,-0.9664,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,6,6,2,1,7,0,7,1,1,4,0,18,19,6,2,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,4,2,13,0,11,15,1,8,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,2,3,54,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131786126354973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104925376956386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383830653462112,0.21002846239995054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135320402823766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864310472235885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974364165027188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710491978008789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465328272320937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000399751695594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905913003190292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22998320895123925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194303705739106,0.15041957388468372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928422311081188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009407325634805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925446182860746,0.27352637388232864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973113580819215,0.14214084321453588,0.3048280388312578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544693659038553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868195343264633,0.0,0.3498972214893724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OveremotionalYam,2018/02/22,"Need some input. Please read. So me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and he often with-holds things from me (Like how he's actually feeling, he says ""I'm fine"" and ""It doesn't matter"" a lot) and it's probably because he's trying to protect me or whatever. I was discharged from the psych ward after an attempt about a month ago and I've kind of been walking on egg shells just with my own mental health. I can't help him. He knows it and I know it. But he won't let anyone else help him either. He says he doesn't have time to go see the counselor at our school or to go see a doctor about all the different kinds of pain he's in or anything. It's hard to watch and even harder to deal with.
Is there ANY way I can even slightly help him. I can't lose my love.",1.143433133732536,2.772495119760478,2.671760479041918,95.73706187624754,79.83832335329342,5.650938123752495,20.115369261477046,6.42735559955562,-0.06925516966067846,603,15,143,5,15,197,103,167,0.1,0.835,0.066,-0.6659999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,8,0,13,5,0,1,1,25,23,14,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,6,9,1,1,3,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,3,7,15,5,18,18,5,12,0,1,3,1,20,3,0,6,6,84,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.15014166307837545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638442518367272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462763543869112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757997990841936,0.1576440749752744,0.1266107168342195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378944009982593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861920392494835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074720282342464,0.0,0.15747855610916178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852728896403715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324141681749744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077794424267676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488028798326938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782512377383452,0.0,0.0,0.16354217023903572,0.0,0.0,0.309380127410794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204355519806724,0.1691109195817235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732860433458404,0.0,0.07516647082533426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212596895919147,0.0,0.13080321867181238,0.13886141787958842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505107487029998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280671938154113,0.0,0.0,0.11408257924632274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163714068983703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888813706095115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658832334622356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389804672626864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447055867369873,0.0,0.1557109019301129,0.2452072794148895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022153629297112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971491053248068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445840366649044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221240576224887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,workerdaemon,2018/02/22,"Comparative efficacy and acceptability of 21 antidepressant drugs for the acute treatment of adults with major depressive disorder: a systematic review and network meta-analysis http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(17)32802-7/fulltext

I thought some of you might find this interesting. Here's kind of a quick summary of how the different medications rate:

> In head-to-head studies, agomelatine, amitriptyline, escitalopram, mirtazapine, paroxetine, venlafaxine, and vortioxetine were more effective than other antidepressants (range of ORs 1·19–1·96), whereas fluoxetine, fluvoxamine, reboxetine, and trazodone were the least efficacious drugs (0·51–0·84). For acceptability, agomelatine, citalopram, escitalopram, fluoxetine, sertraline, and vortioxetine were more tolerable than other antidepressants (range of ORs 0·43–0·77), whereas amitriptyline, clomipramine, duloxetine, fluvoxamine, reboxetine, trazodone, and venlafaxine had the highest dropout rates (1·30–2·32). 46 (9%) of 522 trials were rated as high risk of bias, 380 (73%) trials as moderate, and 96 (18%) as low; and the certainty of evidence was moderate to very low.

The most important thing to remember is there is always another medication to try. You do NOT have to put up with a medication you don't like!",16.983495630461928,18.31264464044944,13.734569288389515,31.81898252184769,43.606741573033716,18.248189762796507,55.73283395755306,16.04434344847333,10.019878152309614,1078,64,113,46,9,326,117,178,0.083,0.838,0.08,0.2484,1,0,2,0,0,0,71.0,0,3,0,2,4,9,0,1,9,0,12,5,0,2,0,23,13,14,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,1,4,10,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,7,2,4,5,25,5,6,7,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,5,2,74,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579444899444102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373013642848485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091400939300734,0.0,0.0,0.1830643070392405,0.2008136811751665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063918184483864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601450194011417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35964606020493844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185126213799934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246137800144085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560209852821092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5295376041475967,0.0,0.18587738022945005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761413215737453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848652566991906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164062842452477,0.0,0.0,0.13910260075311118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896073428187033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457224496302626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsychologicalPrompt,2018/02/22,"Concerned about therapy. Think I may have a mental illness, but not sure. I'm a guy, first off. I've always been seen as stoic, and fairly calm, but, it's mostly because I feel like I'm losing my mind internally. I worry about self-diagnosis, because I so desperately desire a label, if for no other reason than to show myself that I'm not completely pathetic.

Some of the things I'm going through:
Severe depression, which comes and goes in cycles. It's been like this for years. Since I was a teen. I thought it was normal for a long time, and that I was just ""feeling down"". But, I don't think most people go outside, lie on the floor, or curl up in bed crying uncontrollably. They've become more common in the last year or two, going from a year apart, or so, to days apart, or even hours.

When I don't feel depressed, I feel. . . odd. Empty, almost. Devoid of emotion. Sometimes it feels like I'm watching my life in the third person, like none of it is real. I've gone places, and felt like it was all a dream, and that I wasn't really there, but I was asleep, and could wake up at any moment. Even my own voice seemed foreign and strange. These have been occurring with more frequency.

I tend to be either cold or hot, with people. I've had very good friends, who I've suddenly become furious with, over the smallest things. Especially when they won't hang out with me, or do something that I'm involved in. As a kid, I always tried to grab people's attention.

I've been cutting myself. Usually it's a few months apart, each time. The longer I go, the more I seem to fixate on it, as it provides a sudden, and overwhelming sense of relief. The last time, I was sobbing, and took a razor blade, and, as soon as it cut deeply, I began to laugh, loudly, and felt free, for whatever reason.

I've looked into, and even planned suicide in the past year. It doesn't seem as easy as I had always considered it to be. I can never seem to find just the right way to do it. I'm very conscious of how my family would react when they found me, and I want it to be. . . as easy on them as possible. 

I'm in my early twenties. Very concerned. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I don't normally talk about these things. In fact, I can't seem to summon the willpower to talk to anyone about anything, unless forced. I start shaking when I think about it, or fidgeting. Sometimes I think that hurting someone else might ease the pain more effectively than hurting myself. I haven't acted on it, and don't think I ever will, but the thought has crossed my mind more than once. 

I've never believed psychology was very effective. But I don't know what else to do. 

EDIT:
I guess I should talk about a few other things. These I also always saw as normal actions, but now I'm beginning to wonder.

I get. . . very anxious sometimes. This post has already made me hyperventilate, and need to take very deep breaths to calm myself. I usually try not to think about depression. It seems like a gaping abyss of emptiness, and if I think about it, I worry that I might summon that specter again. I've tried alcohol, which only seems to delay it. 

What seems most effective is spending large amounts of money on things that I never use. I have the newest, most powerful desktops, and laptops. Multiple ones. I have very expensive headphones, from companies like Audeze, and Hifiman. I've had two dozen smartphones in the past twelve months. It's getting to the point where financially, I'm also starting to worry. I don't get much enjoyment from these things, but, they seem to at least distract me for a little while. Lately though, as with most other things, the distraction doesn't last. I'm beginning to consider controlled substances, which I'd always scoffed at the idea of but, if nothing else, if should be clear that at this point, I'm desperate. 

Any suggestions at all are appreciated.",3.46784090909091,5.4543339759358345,4.333365641711232,84.8112249331551,74.21390374331551,7.134893048128343,25.457553475935825,7.972316293177498,1.5195377005347592,3026,103,580,46,64,974,328,748,0.149,0.73,0.121,-0.9678,2,0,2,0,0,3,136.0,0,0,4,8,29,32,3,5,32,0,51,7,3,11,10,132,116,61,1,14,27,0,9,7,1,8,4,2,1,3,52,27,1,2,38,2,5,12,20,16,0,6,26,16,59,17,95,77,22,96,0,8,4,0,14,37,1,32,52,383,111,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545600631978184,0.05112214157515762,0.0,0.056338185216935566,0.08165403015045726,0.2124006657135593,0.0,0.0,0.06943549534158791,0.0,0.0,0.057675286888454726,0.0,0.035697400416529086,0.0,0.04201221695432942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062242792774932165,0.11276791523292275,0.0,0.05751917709890685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043977584475430535,0.053528032861142286,0.0,0.05726020968609325,0.04076161578077267,0.0,0.056079253760259004,0.032924920700615284,0.0,0.13191545884630754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794453305826758,0.05742768230797199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011599496978865,0.0461803041274894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04812816517426628,0.0,0.1290694939532723,0.07294445643221155,0.09803765090200918,0.0,0.04666145928890658,0.0434256019203914,0.0,0.055976910035680165,0.03944337229189672,0.0,0.08001915696114789,0.0,0.116058241884987,0.042820781156950816,0.0,0.0,0.05624056559072143,0.050550433915232514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027685886921997,0.0,0.10930644938879268,0.05763255140758496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028057358888964545,0.12484487219142948,0.057589936365054835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03606019904227086,0.17459320279325688,0.05116845471268743,0.0,0.04518024248281752,0.04287160886054857,0.05711517738941725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830752316260512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144935246660294,0.10831819612921736,0.10309782512533204,0.0,0.08149993408318361,0.0,0.037529782738517405,0.037855105711798696,0.11812551640934205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500631153548166,0.04898666971834917,0.0,0.0,0.0543697114527022,0.03459479120318085,0.03882805893292706,0.05432392420323495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747160977895557,0.10618103453773163,0.04457745516781048,0.05333945284159438,0.0,0.09652305399521943,0.05755451534257355,0.04889460107272441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810941893343129,0.03270581856814708,0.15747276550534506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043598929037243966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182900858389289,0.05325934726356234,0.057675286888454726,0.0,0.04223151684730343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04325698763647468,0.039303044932098005,0.15147797960223458,0.0,0.07227106280142077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558436265791661,0.0,0.048116788701567,0.0,0.03838545482072943,0.12310325012986308,0.0,0.0,0.05838348248285661,0.0,0.23742111865332555,0.22898862310172335,0.050159251148396526,0.08106065822457978,0.08930813392986348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672169121203486,0.1039847785543873,0.0,0.09974260184866646,0.0,0.0,0.044093345634733716,0.112455194254325,0.294868136612183,0.03011234483199489,0.04052344487471009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055364732134486734,0.0,0.15554020631890803,0.0,0.036266541487926775,0.0,0.0,0.13150566972665065
mentalhealth,finickyfoxe,2018/02/22,"Prevent jaw clenching caused by anxiety? Due to my general anxiety, I clench my jaw in my sleep and wake up with a stiff, sore jaw and painful teeth. I have a mouth guard to keep my teeth in place but it does not help the clenching itself. I’ve noticed it’s gotten worse recently and I wonder if anyone has found any methods, supplements, or other solutions for this?",3.791032863849765,5.7979700985915485,4.4813380281690165,84.01008215962445,73.36619718309859,8.11361502347418,28.734741784037556,8.841846274778883,2.3977586854460093,291,12,55,6,6,93,54,71,0.189,0.768,0.043,-0.8657,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,11,8,1,0,16,6,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,8,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,2,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740485754931684,0.0,0.3915881464574002,0.0,0.0,0.17895981473858208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629217866851382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397558949484775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806259652729532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715517773609522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274920145790129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913903890925789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723391422861756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26740374613858786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527107427974745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25612571818787083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27755696746061104,0.0,0.0,0.2608256231200137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hononononoh,2018/02/22,"What are healthy alternatives to ""passing along the pain""? I'm a highly sensitive, emotionally intense man, who only wants to do good in the world, and just can't seem to integrate and be at peace with the way I've been mistreated.

I've done some reading about authoritarian personalities and how human beings deal with interpersonal power and hierarchy in general. The basic gist I get is that when a person is chronically forced to say ""yes sir"" when they really want to say ""fuck you"", they bury their resentment and it turns into a craving to dominate others in turn, to ""pass along the pain"" they've been unfairly dealt, by unfairly making others weaker or lower on the hierarchy hurt unfairly.

I am strongly, on principle, against either being dominated, or dominating others, and I don't see this changing. I've managed this by keeping as complete control as I can muster over whom I interact with. I'm very self-reliant, and would rather do something all by myself than ask for help from someone who's going to make the interaction into a power play.

That all changed when I went to graduate school, where I was treated very nastily by some of my teachers and trainers, whom I can only imagine were treated the same way when they were trained, and have become very practiced at saying ""yes sir"" when they mean ""fuck you"". The more I resisted being mistreated, the worse it became. I find myself now having obsessive, intrusive thoughts about the way I was treated, which can leave me seething with anger and resentment for hours to days. I just have no way to integrate such an experience. I refuse to find me some underlings or scapegoats to kick around, and the rational part of my brain tells me that going back to where I trained and confronting those people angrily will not turn out well for me. What other options do I have? How to mentally healthy, well adjusted people integrate experiences of being mistreated, without becoming mistreaters themselves?",11.45819128787879,9.347591542613637,10.62506818181818,60.68281060606063,56.86931818181818,14.045757575757575,44.48939393939394,12.573866699077325,5.6787971212121215,1581,74,253,41,15,509,198,352,0.159,0.768,0.073,-0.9821,3,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,5,4,20,18,6,1,17,2,30,6,1,5,2,56,51,24,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,6,19,22,0,3,7,2,0,5,5,10,2,0,9,4,30,8,51,35,9,34,0,1,1,2,27,16,2,8,9,190,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787526033997449,0.09228307975351004,0.0,0.0,0.07590399820584783,0.0,0.0,0.2180409154104918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019605585655183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884996452605872,0.0,0.10349842205612483,0.0,0.11071472333920958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636615462345986,0.10176849286218906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101739779156643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103853781875556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19311998796715693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18044329855221514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18251666132938832,0.05157332857236537,0.0,0.11220144155926934,0.0827955567216874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616506389521815,0.10429542171045672,0.0,0.0,0.0972121574577831,0.0,0.10567402188723264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774041232229376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452253084348516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178303107186673,0.0,0.0,0.10752710444445708,0.0,0.0,0.0994792169911466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015096263615674,0.21007461453016912,0.0,0.0,0.1068962699340253,0.0,0.13686995940302024,0.17238430117970066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873944568009348,0.0,0.06323790419569876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355009810378701,0.0,0.09990255542536684,0.07866126751177714,0.08986436437967911,0.1029789085621231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363897800784773,0.07599388423306074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627927924334414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836688337528243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32211332102376383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443450273175465,0.11644665450741055,0.3134142897939741,0.0,0.0,0.17750920308291426,0.09150769209255674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515555166660136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059670779705876,0.07012269304142904,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ferbiloo,2018/02/22,"Trying to improve my life My mental health is kinda crappy even though everything in my life should be great. I don’t have money troubles, I have a wonderful boyfriend, my work is easy, I have loads of free time.
But I keep getting myself into a very dark place mentally. Horrible anxiety that makes me feel sick and I find it the hardest thing in the world to get out of bed most mornings.
My entire house is a mess. There’s unwashed clothes, dirty dishes and rubbish everywhere. It’s gross to look at. I want to live in a nice clean house but I cannot motivate myself to change it. 
I’m going to try and start today. I’m going to tackle the mess and hope that with a clean house comes a shiny new outlook on life. 

So far I’ve picked up about 6 sweet wrappers and stepped on a plug and already want to give up ",2.6748571428571424,4.424183987878791,3.524004329004331,90.78886363636364,75.78787878787878,6.411255411255411,23.90692640692641,7.1686216300943375,0.8329653679653672,638,20,134,7,14,203,108,165,0.126,0.706,0.16699999999999998,0.7918,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,0,0,10,0,10,6,0,3,0,25,27,10,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,3,0,6,10,1,1,4,0,2,4,2,4,0,0,0,4,15,6,22,25,1,21,0,0,2,0,1,13,0,4,4,76,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151050976268227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196403600599833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482814114539972,0.12607509559294527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666856786600654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315377988421716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400337686751758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376923745418215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293280252473213,0.14040064039726974,0.16635809031500534,0.0,0.0,0.16136102827312365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557249728191386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536725333677467,0.0,0.5066350086746172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009037347953847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101325206181933,0.0,0.0,0.12923744942219811,0.0,0.122904480766485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769559588705487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949903732910105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135418375173467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291373312321002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359346994584648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972342439158651,0.0,0.14379671959785906,0.0,0.08534295866663308,0.0,0.13873097287052746,0.0,0.0,0.198735955340762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076128897459405,0.17265235453495525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871981100355534,0.10655090632713113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suckzor,2018/02/22,"I feel unproductive, which in turn makes me feel anxious. Except I AM quite productive and I don't really know what to do. I mean, I'm at a fairly good spot in life. I'm only 16 years old but my education is going well. I'm fairly ""busy"" for being a teenager in terms of how much free time I have at home. On a normal school week, I'll get home at around 7:30-8 PM on monday and tuesday. On wednesday I usually get home for a few hours after lunch, but then I go away again and come back at around 7:30-8 PM. On thursday, I get home at around 9 PM. I go away for about 1-2 hours on fridays and sundays, otherwise the weekends are completely off. I only have a 3 hour lesson in school on fridays which doesn't even begin until after lunch.




I also get up at around 4:30 every day including weekends however this isn't anything negative. I always sleep 6-8 hours a night anyways as I usually go to bed pretty soon after coming home. The reason I'm home so late most days is because of school, boxing training and weightlifting. I enjoy all these three things, but very time consuming. 1,5 hours of boxing three times a week, school is usually 7-8~ hours mon-thu, including breaks. Lifting usually only takes 1~ hour, three times a week. However, couple all this with the fact that I live on an island in Sweden. It's not far from the mainland and there is a bridge but it's still about 1 hours of sitting on a bus every day when I want to do, well, *anything*. All this adds up.


I don't necessarily feel pressured and I'm fine with not being home that much during the day. 



Honestly I'm just fine... except sometimes I feel really off mentally. I mean, the workouts I do (lifting and cardio from boxing) is taxing on my body but it's great fun and I feel very good after doing them. I know what I'm doing, I do lots of research and I've logged a food diary for almost half a year now without a single day off. I see results I like. I do brain workouts sometimes. I keep my nutrition in check, mostly. I set up goals for myself with rewards that I treat myself to when I reach those goals (goals could be get X amount of A grades on tests, reach 100 kg on deadlift and squat, etc).



So yeah that's my life right now, sounds great right and yeah I feel good. 



The problem is when I'm *not* doing something. Like right now. I'm on a 1 week break from school. I had like, what, 3 things to study on. Two of which are already done. The third will take me no less than 1-2 hours until I'm done and I still have this entire week left. And so now I feel so fucking unproductive it makes me sick and anxious mentally. It's like I just got this itch, my brain says I need to work on something but I really, really don't want to and I don't even need to. At all. I mean, I'll walk down the stairs from my room and into the hall. My eyes will dart to the fireplace, to the kitchen, to the It's nice having a week off doing fuck all just sitting here being lazy and playing games, I've been productive. I woke up early. I took a morning bike ride. I've washed clothes. I've washed the dishes. I've cleaned the fireplace. I've studied. So now I'm sitting here. And I just don't know what to do. Makes me sick. I'll watch some fun videos on YouTube, play a fun game. I get into it, I have fun but 20 minutes into that video or that game I just get bored and quit. And I'm back to square one, I just sit here, nothing to do, and as soon as I start doing something new I end up feeling like shit. 




TL:DR; I've studied. I've done stuff. I've been productive. Yet I sit here and feel unproductive, feel like shit. I don't know why. I'm happy otherwise, I'm full of energy most of the time. Life is good??",0.7463266782407416,2.8448297408854164,2.5351215277777794,93.77457754629627,83.62239583333334,5.355092592592593,19.507523148148145,6.605766666666668,0.07134537037036992,2843,77,633,30,81,939,300,768,0.052000000000000005,0.778,0.171,0.9981,2,0,3,0,0,0,122.0,0,0,1,8,45,36,4,1,35,2,48,23,8,6,6,100,111,47,0,7,20,0,11,6,0,2,9,2,11,0,30,36,5,1,19,13,3,9,14,7,2,7,9,17,64,30,97,95,19,143,0,0,4,2,5,56,4,7,76,374,94,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467890318301424,0.0,0.05156296391637479,0.037366519653254285,0.038879519529535764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105573465856049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690252778010333,0.16638309206826538,0.0,0.0,0.0878006530088614,0.07185834712166439,0.0,0.028483548640678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190171115102324,0.0,0.10432265256572948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050009394886548,0.04899099991073042,0.0,0.0,0.03730666359919072,0.051701090349947125,0.0,0.15067103168997606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434498196553707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138509490331072,0.0,0.05211149885473652,0.06172375883212298,0.0,0.07873682289873651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23625914231318695,0.06676168854979464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650089321016991,0.0,0.0,0.08639430013769687,0.17088572170504027,0.0,0.10622115205646644,0.15676517695164308,0.03737080500805332,0.10303048254360272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049740368849817564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328087757632669,0.0,0.41413855713454256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04153194267945428,0.0,0.0,0.102716875128989,0.0,0.052708616710021264,0.0,0.050767601948294494,0.0,0.09901121600957967,0.13696687978663938,0.0,0.04125964279967141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039724513094760695,0.0,0.0,0.09356928833141867,0.0,0.0,0.1526939327069988,0.0,0.0,0.09417701669093967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869752107506091,0.06929301830905517,0.0,0.04512796527562801,0.0,0.0438488974106397,0.04578125814326728,0.04483456244364984,0.0,0.04903075448948586,0.0,0.03166253871393626,0.10661098475175336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04753682777072185,0.0,0.044710177570086336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993970517510012,0.0,0.0,0.1197347011581001,0.04804179435491773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971045904745654,0.0,0.03715814634915154,0.0,0.2364444784130044,0.03723432756837243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592650439263534,0.0,0.0,0.04675943753980917,0.0,0.0,0.10791516339231806,0.09242580991062824,0.0,0.03307268586198182,0.0,0.07463039726147302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348973923569501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026381180769478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208494812921667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623063615829875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191396396564642,0.0,0.05082413614951154,0.04564421236009307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058469970666222,0.07710718014624994,0.05512004847265981,0.0,0.22488319389869094,0.0,0.0840240187205274,0.0,0.04216267003836025,0.0,0.0,0.04504190045212477,0.0,0.03401686086110245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060179628406593015
mentalhealth,throwaways679,2018/02/22,"Depressed and coping with a family member's addiction. Any help will be very appreciated. Hello- this is my first time posting on reddit, ever. I just stumbled along this subreddit and was hoping I could just get some advice, or perhaps just vent. 

I'm 18 years old, I've had cycles of depression since I was 13. At the start, it was bullying but we moved and it's become so so much better- my school life is good now. However, when I was 14 I found texts between my dad and a prostitute. As I would later discover, he's been a sex addict for 20 years. My world was literally ripped apart, I was exposed to this disgusting side of a person and a world at an age where I don't think I completely understood what sex was. I told my mom- who had already known for years- and we begged him to stop, get sober and seek help. I found new texts 2 weeks later. 

The past 4 years have been hell. It's been cycles of forgiving him, getting close to him, trusting him only for him to break my heart again. He refuses to get long-term help, lies constantly to our faces and breaks my trust over and over again. It feels like a never ending emotionally abusive cycle that I can never break. 

 A month ago, my sister found texts for the first time. **She's 14.** My mom has been diagnosed with a form of PTSD coupled with depression. She has no self worth anymore. Last month when my sister found those texts, there was a lot of crying and yelling and he promised, swore he'd get help, begged for a final, last chance. He started attending Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings and following the 12 step program. 

I found texts from another prostitute from last night. The amount of times I have to read explicit details about what my father wants from a woman- I have no clue how messed up I am or how my future relationships will be because of this. It hurts so much to think of that. There was another period of yelling and crying last night. He's staying at a hotel for now. This is starting to effect my studies, my life. I have no will to do anything anymore. 

Thank you for reading- any advice or comments would mean the world to me. ",2.852099825740602,5.117663092233013,3.652330097087379,87.69301842170778,77.05825242718447,6.847000248941997,23.91361712720936,7.882392219407189,1.2875315409509582,1662,55,328,27,39,528,215,412,0.123,0.752,0.125,0.0802,1,0,0,0,2,0,57.0,3,1,0,4,19,16,2,0,19,0,37,11,2,3,4,55,61,25,0,5,7,6,1,1,0,5,6,2,0,3,16,20,0,2,13,3,1,4,6,7,0,2,22,3,44,9,44,30,6,66,1,4,0,3,38,14,1,6,44,206,60,4,0.0,0.08951857457926438,0.0,0.24709348878830506,0.0,0.14766006380754074,0.06697364281343357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337519551177422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275797804401968,0.15844892083426085,0.0,0.0,0.1498575933697673,0.0,0.0,0.06217411492689221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605672863641358,0.08344293434192669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682095460668015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921643531777872,0.08164652152062382,0.0,0.06032334325309671,0.08359854028348118,0.16598400280066095,0.0,0.0,0.19522242560681732,0.07668523924884457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498754835247888,0.06691799921418197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834249045468373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712251409159906,0.0,0.038202133247717616,0.05397545459724468,0.0,0.08276519551320836,0.0,0.12853158249196614,0.0,0.414202711748592,0.0,0.0,0.19736799681640946,0.0,0.0,0.06337071361422647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953129295943191,0.20256774548736492,0.0,0.0,0.07504169967497425,0.0,0.0,0.08088161300720148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24634483314226235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673138063520897,0.03691163680766811,0.0,0.0,0.06686249363144066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423290661214119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229993989196567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697475474293886,0.1206122084376177,0.08030144201721452,0.11108107090384896,0.0,0.11654307509355845,0.07297006692645094,0.0,0.14180373341288136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928071683932973,0.0,0.0,0.05746186165581948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212439033024487,0.0,0.06597042531139789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235939369028799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831802961720926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114794518874644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111621259751729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764642026681608,0.0,0.0,0.07881880599863814,0.0,0.0,0.062498658065475984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043152528901938,0.08053000678506925,0.0,0.06316613141513926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955953648301043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682329843078244,0.0,0.0,0.13216760707719338,0.0,0.0,0.07219463257249226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233957216347673,0.04456342759388052,0.0,0.06060448182996864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734211531481196,0.0,0.0,0.19461597639588807
mentalhealth,Y19D22,2018/02/22,"Feeling Numb and Empty, I can only feel Anger and irritation, could it be a personality disorder? Alright so this personality disorder seems to be incredibly relatable to me for some reason, but I don't want to go to therapy due to my parents suspecting I have issues. I'm a 17 year old guy...and I guess my emotions are described as being extremely up and down. Please don't judge me or think I'm being a troll...this is how I feel sincerely and I hope someone takes the time to tell me what they think honestly about it. I am just so tired of never finding help. Right now as I'm typing this my mood went from a fairly light mood to extreme frustration.

Anyways ever since I was a kid...I always felt odd, left out...but I had incredible obsessions with things, from people to things. I remember a time where I was In elementary, and I obsessed over this guy who I wanted to be MY friend only, and he would usually feel incredibly smothered, so he ended up moving away from me. I was bullied in my whole elementary school due to a lack of expressing anger and my personal interests. It's left me incredibly scarred, and I KNEW that I didn't want to be alone...but I was. Teachers would always single me out, at one point I had a crush who I wrote threats to (didn't mean it in a bad way, more like comical) and the police was called after the principal and the teacher read what I said about guns. I didn't get in trouble, since they knew I didn't have any bad intentions, but from what I can tell you, it dug a deeper hole. I used to obsess over characters like the joker in elementary and aspired to be like him, confident, funny, and just plain cruel.

Going to middle school, nothing much has happened, but I found another girl I was obsessive with and used to fantasize about having her ONLY to myself...again she never saw this because I was always cool-headed on the outside...it was almost like lust really. I developed a huge obsession with BDSM, rape, and dead girls as a whole...I still don't know why.

Highschool was incredibly turbulous for me. My emotions went from extreme anger, inward and outward, happiness, sadness, depression. My freshman year I got bullied again and my depression kicked in. I hated not only everyone but I hated myself for being so weak. That year I strived to purge everything about me that was considered weak. During my freshman year, I met this girl who was extremely cute, and it led to me having a 2 year relatio ship with her.

My relationship with her was...toxic. I wanted her to not talk to a single guy, I kept her very close to me during the relationship. I was incredibly sexual, more than she ever was...and she liked that about me. What she didn't like was how I treated her most of the time. She cried at one point explaining that she felt worthless and that I am too controlling. I would try to change...but I can't, CONTROL is what makes me happy and secure...this ended up into a break up where she backstabbed me. She cheated on me with her ex boyfriend, I afterwards cheated on her with my ex girlfriend before her...I wanted her to suffer for fucking hurting me.My ex crying and finding out what I did to her was so satisfying. I always screamed and shouted at her, called her worthless, stupid...because I wanted her to be driven to suicide. I even wished upon her death many times...this lasted for a full year and a half after my break up. She said before it that I was purely insane and that I should seek help, but it wasn't my fault she fucking hurt me...cheated on me...BACKSTABBED me.

So in a nutshell...we go to what's with me now, where all I can feel is extreme moodiness, from extreme depression in one day after over thinking what someone said to me, to extreme happiness, to extreme anger where I hold in tension and anger, to the point where I whether lash out at someone, or I fucking scream alone and punch shit. Laughing was another mechanism to controlling my anger...but it felt too intense for me. Theres people who would say hi to me that i can tell is sarcastic and I end up telling them to fuck off.

Basically I HATE weaknesses in myself, that's why I try to present myself as strong. Not only that, but once someone betrays me or disrespects me, I just consider them less than a human. I wish them for their death, I wish for their families lives to fucking die just to see him/her suffer. This happens with everyone I encounter...I just end up thinking everyone is against me. I can go from overconfident to feeling like I should die, like As if I didn't deserve love. I think about why the hell should I wake up if we will all eventually die. I only wish I didn't have intense feelings all the time. It feels so uncomfortable...whenever I try to vent to my friends, they always tell me I have anger problems, or that I'm just some psycho. I just want to be normal. Or better yet, I want to be successful one day and be accomplished and ambitious",4.810154045675969,5.858219205636742,5.750867337255649,79.68479344594171,69.36534446764092,8.937584614411337,30.277155690516853,9.218907990703514,2.588666109951287,3861,151,739,75,66,1273,358,958,0.263,0.614,0.123,-0.9995,1,2,0,1,0,1,159.0,1,1,8,9,39,78,23,6,30,1,72,15,2,11,8,145,145,56,7,26,24,4,11,8,3,8,5,7,0,9,42,43,0,5,28,2,0,9,17,51,0,5,44,21,147,25,124,80,15,100,1,10,2,8,79,53,7,14,43,515,189,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046473052706398364,0.04806690995028483,0.0,0.0,0.19308477752381614,0.0,0.0,0.03156048764076589,0.09733015971840474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043603855597503086,0.0,0.07750105907444572,0.056582382899007785,0.0,0.07898322416899274,0.0,0.0,0.041045998610538856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477988672022994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561587598286973,0.037054721500523656,0.0,0.10195872220667898,0.05986140360822562,0.0,0.11991896041249273,0.0,0.1444991987492664,0.0,0.10638008571896722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044103249384053,0.16442244017212904,0.0,0.0,0.03065346070694217,0.08396125989984814,0.0,0.1330406369843736,0.04171044256986507,0.0,0.043751350938960085,0.0,0.18773089578683505,0.03315541430741885,0.13368304155105734,0.0,0.08483605694424122,0.0,0.0,0.05088632459978204,0.07171272027970621,0.21452713952316926,0.02424738338677161,0.0,0.10550381157650672,0.0,0.0371184297449164,0.0,0.05112600310557691,0.13786000980926225,0.08208066958109349,0.14821337562091408,0.0,0.1374612190086805,0.04763019442848287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062215479027166974,0.0,0.0,0.04609574225213988,0.0,0.0,0.09936603254631876,0.0,0.0,0.04844012991472695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02550579999729136,0.0378304595406808,0.0,0.0,0.1008495089056585,0.0,0.0,0.18138920666886696,0.0,0.04098100515174656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04188696460923099,0.0,0.03097912978204185,0.047052599045519436,0.0,0.050554249611323945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049326635587054975,0.03411679396690887,0.0,0.07158872432331133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547208479074901,0.04453178238601109,0.0,0.04869963639975194,0.04942528595478366,0.1257948517347349,0.21178202325004966,0.0,0.0,0.05153296978285009,0.0,0.0,0.06434989696506004,0.12157063610990043,0.0,0.050944398581075336,0.13161775419094046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044408237517504716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04642270066868267,0.0,0.029731524996636737,0.04771735498334735,0.0,0.09965424676040224,0.05257364311848778,0.039634007196501404,0.132440016932725,0.036907207228077575,0.0,0.0939390816832038,0.036982873974697655,0.04225004971058211,0.0,0.0,0.04763934324141719,0.07678189715235266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729264889222014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037063198892668014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050765162048515236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034894650538460574,0.03730271369274386,0.2028225460774968,0.0,0.05307404140376165,0.0,0.061665671500908126,0.14868872332977642,0.0,0.0,0.10824850674225253,0.05334163036077777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452831875825622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016692229811391,0.05111421400457438,0.038293227139078435,0.218991230863548,0.03683821004913415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604533212912642,0.12563380200183355,0.10363053099929397,0.2134774889150952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187373158609755,0.0,0.0,0.17931965676981734
mentalhealth,ssammohsworld,2018/02/22,"What should I do when I am having really bad anxiety? I know medication helps with anxiety, but I want to try some other stuff before I get anxiety medication. I havent really been treating myself, and I think I should. What are some things I can do for myself to make myself less anxious?",4.830535714285713,6.130209553571429,6.727142857142859,71.76785714285714,69.53571428571428,10.6,26.5,10.686352973137794,3.1116928571428573,229,7,41,7,4,80,37,56,0.195,0.743,0.062,-0.7195,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,1,0,11,15,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,12,1,4,12,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,37,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5393407102403682,0.2654917931986617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962216017519028,0.0,0.0,0.19997423187574934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278181648781115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752069835259772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915407838813414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156869455445072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734910396946459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30110388307147257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690275756746847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561286642985323,0.15058343616279368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955479266283076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861362219705073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BurningMonarchy,2018/02/22,"Struggling With What I Believe Is OCD Greetings, all!

I am going to seek help in several days (for what I believe is a form of OCD).  For the past year, I have struggled everyday with thoughts over my fiancé’s past.  I cannot get thoughts of his past relationships out of my mind, no matter what I do.  I wanted to be his first relationship.  It kills me to think there was someone before I.  My mind obsesses over these very thoughts 24/7.   I cannot escape.  I ask my fiancé for reassurance quite often. There has to be a better life than this.

I am also very paranoid.  I have been this way for as long as I can possibly remember.  I am paranoid my fiancé will be talking to other females behind my back.  I am paranoid in public places.  When people look at me, I fear there is a motive as to why they are doing so.  I am paranoid people are out to get me.  These thoughts are causing me extreme amounts of distress.  I simply cannot escape from all of this.

I am in a constant battle with my own mind.  I cannot escape from these thoughts, which is why I am seeking help.

Obviously I will need a professional diagnosis, but does this sound like a form of OCD I am experiencing?  I don’t know if paranoid thoughts are also associated with OCD?",2.987884465261512,4.8829807704918045,4.465199063231848,83.74412568306012,75.31147540983606,6.778766588602655,27.192818110850897,7.62386473244151,1.5722539422326305,964,38,190,13,21,321,120,244,0.127,0.8140000000000001,0.059,-0.8557,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,4,9,10,2,5,7,0,34,1,0,2,3,29,49,9,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,13,6,0,0,10,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,8,3,38,3,36,36,6,22,0,0,1,0,11,9,0,2,12,146,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688851698602829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871508523621143,0.0,0.0,0.08119440392185774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985176034492684,0.23793402424039886,0.0,0.09338831806565312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847297073153997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410838659224945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809866965431859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240503752147723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188213422676316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981724653512717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033583923584958,0.0,0.060010864920921676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415533582000422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682287260513205,0.0,0.05803108325532123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458337119708501,0.05158734559852828,0.0,0.0,0.09344637260377378,0.08867142174435354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198561113842328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782957797237432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30240104518555605,0.1464096099180309,0.0,0.1103220813082766,0.0,0.0,0.11904010226986154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231102149967824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22673446396950375,0.1196161446090108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192898942642414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946850132404974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077720170593806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848715540850676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067659651401595,0.0,0.5029736930811307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425036285541154,0.06228141418705455,0.08381471016652442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905622936593557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799835026039827
mentalhealth,Themostconfusedone,2018/02/22,"Anxious, researching/obsessing over everything, trying to justify my decisions to myself. Hi everyone,

I'm trying to figure out what is going on with me mentally.

Ever since I can remember I have been overly anxious and shy. I don't have a lot of self confidence.

I have a tendency to overthink things, for instance, I could literally spend a week obsessing and researching something as simple as what $30 immersion blender to buy (yes this actually happened)

I have severe issues with every life decision I've made. When I got married I had a breakdown thinking ""this is a huge mistake, it's going to be a disaster, I can't back out now"", cried my whole wedding night and totally ruined it. 3 years in it's been great. Then when I bought a house, ""huge mistake, we are going to go bankrupt, that payment is too big, now we are stuck in this town, stuck in this job paying for it, no more flexibility"" again 2 years in and it's been great. None of those fears came true, the opposite actually.

Now for the most troubling thing of all, we are expecting our first child and I have zero excitement, just dread, thinking yet again ""this is going to be a total disaster, I'll hate being a parent, the perfect relationship I had with my husband is going to fall apart and so will my life, this is going to be terrible, now I'm stuck with this decision"". So much so that it's launched me into a near mental breakdown and I spent 2 weeks coming home after work and crying till I fell asleep. I'm so anxious I don't even want to tell people I'm pregnant because i am ashamed of it and how I feel. I literally spend HOURS a day going through my social media groups clicking on random profiles to see ""ok they have kids"" in a mentally ill way to justify my situation and get myself to feel better. I meet neighbors and acquaintances around town and my first quest is to find out if they have kids to almost check to see if I'm ""ok"" in my choice to have a baby. I'm always online researching what happens to happiness levels after kids and what happens to kids that have moms who are anxious. If I see that over 80% of people end up having kids it makes me temporarily feel better. I am embarrassed to admit this and it is so incredibly mentally ill, but it's become almost a relief to do.

I'm so tired of sapping the joy out of every day of my life and not living fully in the moments that should be exciting. Instead I ruin it with research and obsessing and anxiety.

What is going on with me? I don't want to live this way anymore.",4.718823529411765,5.694520482897385,6.113296839862709,77.26891318499231,69.52313883299799,9.146857616285953,30.31181204876317,9.402419484367199,2.7598955379334824,1988,78,371,41,34,674,234,497,0.13699999999999998,0.774,0.08900000000000001,-0.933,2,0,1,0,0,0,59.0,4,0,2,6,23,26,1,6,19,3,44,7,1,4,6,74,86,34,0,10,6,3,3,0,1,2,6,0,3,7,34,34,0,0,12,0,7,13,7,13,0,3,13,7,44,13,67,65,9,70,0,2,4,0,26,28,0,8,27,266,78,6,0.0,0.0,0.14996951003777764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388831957886018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393703494607579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058782389148285034,0.3472293103153553,0.07620463178718806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840389040766942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059085216415738474,0.0,0.04684095037346838,0.0848637422206443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591747009858912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788448879596399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661908555230602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061350486917692425,0.0,0.16881026221711304,0.09911088547485784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805743206444498,0.0,0.0,0.05075209484590722,0.06950617854469386,0.12948202699354727,0.07342391224211409,0.06905883670391384,0.0,0.0,0.08646636200997575,0.1165578372973415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023036729115248,0.13072012831084046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401457281830436,0.0,0.393029481453512,0.0,0.061455966912032985,0.16943274100640712,0.0,0.0,0.20384807285324544,0.081797608094553,0.0,0.07586359107986575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707678445388179,0.0,0.07567192107663498,0.0886630424626131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802009956162477,0.07625184270418628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282309181441534,0.0,0.0,0.13570225432138694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532661958505143,0.0,0.07270786525620279,0.0512912962087111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097465853564097,0.0,0.0,0.08999407849515308,0.0,0.0,0.056486240813086966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210913406378815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853217258277843,0.0,0.0,0.10654236092029404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249740268699833,0.08704474015033774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836945928144104,0.0,0.08016087745666105,0.08680732757883883,0.0,0.06356284146804947,0.08637137868900735,0.0,0.0783287026025411,0.0,0.05915518552798765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716154625296368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209816237948836,0.09847193778339876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831627558099538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433863123665003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064444489208746,0.12198402968208365,0.12327282505092753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578911510987683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594043465428791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896488050864903
mentalhealth,moussaka9,2018/02/22,"Waves of Depression/Anxiety/OCD This post is basically a combination of a reach out for shared experiences and solidarity and some notes on things that have worked for me, many of which will seem like basic bitch stuff to some but nevertheless worth sharing in case those who can relate more specifically to my experience are looking for suggestions.


I was diagnosed by some random GPs in my teens with this stuff (GAD, MDD, OCD), and have had varying feelings about how helpful diagnosis is, although I am seeing a psychologist again. Anyway, I'm 29 now, and still feel like it's a daily battle. Describing the experience more specifically seems like a good thing though, to connect with others, share practices, and so on. 

Problem

I have extremely intense waves of anxiety/depression that interfere with my life, because the distress effects:

- How I react and behave in social situations

- The decisions that I make regarding participation in future events and taking opportunities


Observations


- They are short lived (they could last a few minutes to a few hours), usually subsiding into a calmer mood.

- They are worsened by stress (for example, in the last few months - relationship breakdown, last year of PhD, housing insecurity). Yet these waves will often not be connected to these factors at all; instead they latch onto anything (see below). 


Anxiety

- The feelings I would consider to be anxiety are those that are attached to periods/states of worry, obsessive thinking, racing thoughts, paranoia. They are not generally accompanied by the intense physiological aspects of panic attacks (I've had these before), but rather feel very much in the head. I may have an accelerated pulse, hot flushes etc, but not necessarily. I will be very unobservant of my surroundings in these states, unable to have a conversation, and basically be lost in this state until something draws me out.


Nature of thoughts

- I did something that will make X person reject me or cause me trouble and harm. What I did was not justified. Almost always, I will learn that what I did was totally fine and there was no need for concern at all. However, by this time I have obsessed and ruminated for days.

- Mistakes from the past, including childhood, that I see as morally wrong or, again, could cause disastrous consequences for me. These are difficult because there is nothing to be done or resolved. I oscillate between punishing myself for these events internally, and imagining horrible scenarios where everyone finds out and I pay severe, disproportionate consequences. 


Things that help

- Exercise (told you, basic)

- Mantras - 'everyone makes mistakes, you can only control what you do now'

- Delaying worrying. I will tell myself that this horrible outcome that I'm worrying about is unlikely to cause me hard today, therefore it makes more sense to just get on with what I have to do and can worry tonight (which doesn't always happen). 

- Really anything that gets me out of my head or on another line of thinking, including physical activities, games, conversation, watching a movie/TV show. Unfortunately, it is hard to get myself to do these things though, or see them as options, when I'm in this state. 


Depression

- The feelings more characteristic of depression may come out of nowhere, and are like I have been sucked dry of all hope and meaning. It's all just heavy and black. 

Things that help

- Exercise. 100% of the time after going for the run, I feel some improvement. 

- Eating properly and regularly. I've noticed sometimes that I will be in one of these states, and then I will eat something and feel 40% better (not always but sometimes). This is sometimes quite alarming as it feels so temperamental. Similarly, if it is a hot day and I am walking home from the shops, getting back into a cool environment might also improve the mood by this much almost instantly. 

- Waiting it out. 


Starting Therapy

I sought out a psychologist that draws on DBT principles, as I have been thinking lately that the instability here seems somewhat like an emotional regulation problem. It's very early days but so far she seems to think that I was emotionally invalidated during childhood and there's some ongoing effects there. I have been encouraged not to make decisions or react when I'm in that 'emotional brain', which makes sense, although hopefully we will work towards managing things so that I don't get too deep into that space so regularly in the first place. 

Medication

I have been taking Zoloft on and off since my teens. I have tried to go off it before and had the terrible withdrawal symptoms, so went on a low dose (50mg). I'm also on Depakote/Epilim for epilepsy which is supposed to help with moods, although lately I suspect that it may have actually made things worse. I have always had issues with depression and anxiety, but the frequent mood swings and intense distress have seemingly increased during the years I have been on the epilepsy medication, which is interesting as it is often prescribed as a mood stabiliser!
 

If anyone can relate in their own experiences, or has methods for managing and improving health that they can share, I'd love to hear it. 

I will also say that I am vegan, and I have been vegetarian most of my life. Lately, I have been so keen on resolving these problems that I have considered moving onto a different diet. Open to such suggestions, although please be respectful of people's choices (no vego bashing!).",9.408828264758498,9.715866990486262,9.067790697674418,62.453528622540254,59.327695560253716,12.477768742885024,40.496747438607905,11.915193480827876,5.2595868271263635,4367,211,670,123,52,1408,422,946,0.159,0.723,0.117,-0.9948,2,0,4,0,0,0,148.0,1,3,8,12,40,57,5,8,37,1,95,18,3,18,5,154,154,71,0,14,24,0,12,5,0,15,11,2,1,1,74,47,3,4,30,5,3,8,10,29,0,2,26,22,68,23,114,104,24,104,1,6,7,1,36,50,2,33,46,507,142,7,0.0,0.0,0.050545768506140606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373313049129326,0.0,0.0,0.1242645735842972,0.17239485901043675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431299199663744,0.11887220409183047,0.0,0.0,0.036217214122023424,0.0,0.08524796984776045,0.0,0.0,0.05892582874260825,0.0,0.039828198016154455,0.0,0.06314915167992605,0.0,0.08814976230534093,0.0,0.0,0.0458096647632775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578218596779508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596273665062255,0.0,0.044617971474991386,0.0,0.0,0.05809401386866697,0.08271034582161503,0.0,0.0,0.10021308742801466,0.0,0.17844849067606974,0.05257220766986933,0.0,0.05411616426335357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053005652105545926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600119953925093,0.0,0.17479177551396502,0.0,0.0,0.05776662499044075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898726934748818,0.0,0.202667087464194,0.0,0.0,0.2095183377874162,0.03700332470703878,0.0,0.0,0.047340927983369516,0.04405795113305586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530728230954464,0.0,0.05887412175576642,0.04344432317025243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045803343618612935,0.0,0.09279871632920232,0.0,0.10631600220433196,0.055057100796725635,0.05837825391941461,0.0,0.13887201353602666,0.0,0.05195596495877354,0.10289093071512202,0.0510089738132909,0.0597660366862097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406193508746796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126662821814331,0.17528562575451212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731705914020555,0.12652540793349346,0.0,0.04573712837337671,0.0,0.043495891010012507,0.0,0.05654183758025074,0.0,0.04674823056217391,0.04901096129326462,0.20744680573209803,0.052513371862823316,0.0,0.0564214126942738,0.0,0.10435875215344012,0.0,0.054947744888262526,0.0,0.0,0.04134335454655011,0.05505132574757638,0.07615255797531616,0.03840633920617994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049699997355908215,0.05897049083494856,0.0,0.0,0.03509854907900089,0.039393460249425485,0.0,0.060771859727351635,0.0,0.0,0.04944547951660044,0.03590906918225114,0.04522657728544115,0.05411616426335357,0.056856841094533525,0.0,0.0,0.04960658803720129,0.0,0.0,0.14868634280584164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509179681879015,0.0,0.0,0.033182069850950915,0.0,0.0,0.05560989853903602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04119053860789599,0.0,0.0,0.1650999479718784,0.2357672707439785,0.0,0.05851513528758508,0.0,0.04284647818916289,0.058221270599217674,0.0,0.05279985869310433,0.0,0.11962608851154867,0.15368375170213724,0.0,0.0366617250242862,0.0,0.04136463416172955,0.0,0.0593325469982161,0.0,0.11858886330935038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053836242908180065,0.07788882216587951,0.0,0.045272295262705285,0.0,0.059233643391353036,0.0,0.2408783662402577,0.13275604542008446,0.10177930705568504,0.08224103664513327,0.060405739570857424,0.0,0.04909688595612981,0.04949363467374409,0.0,0.03516632347072937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704636474812853,0.12821224655220004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048015737863764514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541672329145452,0.2104068416226453,0.052784908471472436,0.03679464283694193,0.056631180532576784,0.0,0.06671030583707263
mentalhealth,NerdyINFJ,2018/02/22,What is the best way to tell if you have depression? I think I might be depressed but I'm not entirely sure. Should I keep a log of my feelings and see if negative feelings are too prevalent? Should I go to an expert right away? What are your thoughts?,1.105882352941176,3.5459963529411773,2.0700980392156865,95.36044117647059,85.47058823529412,5.752941176470588,24.18627450980393,7.1686216300943375,0.961886274509804,198,8,43,3,6,62,41,51,0.238,0.716,0.047,-0.8928,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,1,14,16,4,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,3,7,2,4,11,1,4,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615888449910027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921891812550905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796129748462286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28155943737700445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823497620946145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474763579413124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953642396986136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377728763392105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221868161769689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624116578644479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24335515673795136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840308324133727,0.0,0.22103783613060032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22100029197511534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,keepcalmAndScreamon,2018/02/22,"I would really appreciate it if you read this. What issues do I have? Hi guys. I don't know if this the right place to vent. I think I have some issues or if something is/isn't wrong with me. I was up until just recently trying to better myself by journaling, exercising consistently, and improving my social skills. I'm 18 but I've moved around a lot so I don't have a solid group of friends, only a few I've made at college. I am not ugly but I have horrible allergies so my eye skin makes me look older and at 5' 8"" I'm at 145 lbs so I have weight to lose. I'm also Ethiopian  with curly hair so it's a real struggle trying to maintain my huge, and I mean HUGE amount of curly hair, compared to silky straight hair, which in the end is not even considered as good as straight soft  hair.

I recently made a fake tinder account only to see how tinder works features wise, but then I made a fake account using pics of an Instagrammer who isn't super famous. I've started and been messaging many guys for 4 days who are eager to meet up for a few days. I forget they think I'm a different person and I imagine they are complimenting me. I started to feel like a major creep so I deleted it and now I'm thinking what the hell is wrong with me. I feel like I work so hard to improve myself but i feel like I'm hardly making progress. I study so hard just to get good grades, I'm constantly trying to be approachable and improve my communication skills and make friends, etc. I'm scared to post on my Facebook because  I'm afraid no one will give me likes. I tell myself for weeks that I am strong and shouldn't seek validation in others and to keep on improving, and then one day I'll look at how few friends I have and how ugly I am and I just start crying again, which makes me feel like I've never been strong at all. I just feel like generally as a person I suck. Do I need therapy? ",2.471369884910488,3.988830186700768,4.174289482097191,86.89793038682865,75.77749360613811,7.138139386189258,23.727701406649608,7.8658589789855275,1.1066706521739131,1477,45,316,22,32,497,190,391,0.121,0.64,0.239,0.9945,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,10,19,28,2,3,14,0,25,8,6,11,2,64,63,38,0,6,14,0,15,6,3,3,1,0,0,4,13,17,1,1,11,2,2,2,8,10,0,2,6,19,46,18,39,53,9,39,1,1,4,0,19,18,2,6,24,191,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855961611933176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631939652663265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522612536206894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582272904018865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264551987877924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417225586973477,0.16586957825603293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957138806490206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593284699678977,0.0,0.09561351686047584,0.0566249847489344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167426382224492,0.3062337475450217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987083153986257,0.0,0.04479127911865949,0.08224166651828199,0.0,0.14381537874571265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697757397893523,0.0,0.0,0.2303963135246601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896325924704606,0.0,0.07620228143311954,0.0,0.0,0.047115904780333916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513050930719162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398608570729032,0.09591185221821057,0.0,0.0728860325654377,0.0,0.2433642457770631,0.2289063239174301,0.08691849604918707,0.0,0.0933869634036699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111923820075128,0.0,0.06356897537024038,0.06612157860017938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161880485383602,0.13040565469678106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497152416482259,0.08957138806490206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210727807744539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575490847508707,0.09758145305632944,0.054921927595465284,0.0,0.1692994383074261,0.0,0.0,0.07321441042161944,0.0,0.0,0.08583239598296324,0.0,0.06831707175936418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739268011969338,0.0,0.06600045748875745,0.0,0.0,0.18204403308954534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962539582002133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493329179486287,0.0,0.09804167998465814,0.0,0.0,0.16480025086982097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461860698868614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404466979925123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876880510706387,0.10439812440068798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482740934203072,0.0,0.0,0.0609013457830937,0.18746832918060247,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manthonylubes,2018/02/22,"Cymbalta Withdrawal Stopped my 120mg Cymbalta about a week ago. I finally scrounged the $12 copay so I can take it again. Any idea when these symptoms will end and I'll feel better? I took my 120mg dose like 3 hours ago. Was hoping I'd be feeling a bit better but not yet. And yes, I really am that poor. It's helped me a lot and by no means did I intend to stop taking it. I am just really on my own and poor. Should I pop another 60mg to help it flood back into my system? Any advice would be appreciated.  My mood has been horrid and I need to get back into the swing of things",0.6414285714285732,2.380827666666672,3.208174603174605,90.7632142857143,81.85714285714286,6.73968253968254,18.436507936507933,7.793537801064563,0.4135365079365085,450,10,105,8,12,157,88,126,0.18,0.687,0.133,-0.8831,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,8,5,0,0,5,1,12,2,0,1,0,22,21,8,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,4,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,14,4,9,12,3,18,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,14,64,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437462570088793,0.29821922557562675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22877958661566297,0.17638474062145962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586889846515716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975393378338268,0.1836437208586937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489857282984832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010588216333547,0.0,0.0,0.18426780651099348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878837236432904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254976497027487,0.0,0.0,0.1670722736800336,0.16565474087638488,0.0,0.0,0.18989064918121326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217978954926762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300765839858193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323196490799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472691947299175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155215748123573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812651963057428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483646899771485,0.2529486811533088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175244656337537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688950087835374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492936085388074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194928376152625,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thyme3leave,2018/02/22,"How to help a friend in need of (money to seek) mental health treatment A dear, dear friend of mine from College has been battling with years of mental health issues stemming from deep abandonment, abuse and neglect in her life. She's struggled with depression and self medicated for years trying to overcome the trauma of her loss, abandonment and mental abuse. She's suffering severe depression and PTSD symptoms. She's an incredible person pursuing her PhD (almost there!) in holistic medicine and I'm so proud of her for creating a GoFundMe to finally publicly admit her pain and need for help.

I REALLY want to help her reach her goal, seek treatment and move forward with her life. She's committed. But I know spamming message boards isn't going to help. What would Reddit and this thread recommend in particular for getting her message out there in the right way to rally people around her? And specifically, donate to help a stranger?",7.047674650698602,8.937393323353296,6.371631736526947,74.16826596806389,64.8682634730539,9.159481037924152,33.677145708582835,9.516144504307137,3.4227049900199598,763,33,119,15,12,234,98,167,0.225,0.5820000000000001,0.193,-0.8964,0,0,0,0,2,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,5,16,1,1,7,0,4,7,0,1,1,27,12,12,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,2,2,14,0,3,2,0,2,3,1,11,0,0,1,0,17,5,29,10,0,16,0,7,0,0,27,10,0,1,4,73,19,3,0.0,0.3054013467345817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905381421657627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472973372535415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220067808025027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118076774169133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914336461629334,0.0,0.067334016781809,0.0,0.07324496942537077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27398493900154003,0.0,0.0,0.4319247609196685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451630918537244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082858952888206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206225656537892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983214666807152,0.38963949691113786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697810008732475,0.0,0.1911244571981436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713646192487464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934854893491123,0.1125322695845344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065278526166426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256325934799592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006205754784694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444902140774026,0.14559671268950408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473243061968174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395474440008145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750045726716896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601623945781985,0.10229824035419198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155202351176596,0.0,0.0,0.1659878454463719
mentalhealth,awolfamonglilacs,2018/02/22,"What is actually wrong with me?! I'll try to keep this short.
 
I can't ever talk about how I feel without getting choked up and crying. I feel embarrassed and ashamed about this which is why I have not been able to seek professional help. I suppress a lot of my negative feelings to the point where they are so built up, the slightest thing can set me off into a crying/hyperventilating fit where I feel completely useless and would almost rather be dead.

What is wrong with me?",5.691014492753624,6.555931869565223,5.78130434782609,80.92384057971016,67.26086956521739,8.742028985507247,29.46376811594203,8.841846274778883,2.1176463768115945,380,13,75,6,6,120,66,92,0.253,0.672,0.07400000000000001,-0.9619,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,2,4,0,10,0,0,1,1,20,16,5,1,2,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,4,11,0,13,13,1,11,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,2,1,56,17,1,0.21380186111560626,0.0,0.20863977515958626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409168029242784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22416718362908125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348513050735255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933960237666171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324185800287727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170264808650973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330688075598086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19003691776167506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817666966935825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211186562296868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184583729416508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420404563414085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515742937474382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929229249046481,0.0,0.0,0.20609736457823846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187870786145466,0.4675175439029416,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsychoBumbles,2018/02/23,"I was given a slip from my doctor and assigned 'homework' to find a psychologist for myself. Where do I start? I've been seeing a doctor for about 4 months after he put me on stress leave from work. We have tried two medications so far but I'm still not doing well. He decided to keep me on my current medication as it works better than the last, but I'm still pushing through my depression and anxiety daily. Rather than continue to throw meds at the problem, he has been working me toward meeting with a psychologist. He initially got in touch with a hospital that sent me a letter to sign up for group therapy scheduled months from now. I told him that I was still waiting at our last appointment and he wrote on a prescription type slip and told me I would be covered for a psychologist and wrote PTSD? And something illegible on it. 

I'm not sure what to do with this. I'm nervous to go to the next appointment and tell him I havent made an effort yet and I know I really need to talk to someone in order to get better.",5.140712669683257,5.689022083333335,6.205490196078433,78.52201357466065,68.36274509803921,9.610256410256412,30.39819004524887,9.661875296680813,2.7039009049773752,811,30,160,17,13,271,120,204,0.107,0.855,0.038,-0.8916,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,6,11,8,0,2,12,0,12,4,0,1,1,30,32,12,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,6,12,0,2,3,0,0,5,3,4,1,1,12,2,21,4,36,18,0,33,0,1,1,0,19,12,0,0,15,109,27,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413725953071336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24078764173245054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724652282068958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786647821509116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441818189945822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112106492134737,0.0,0.07736446560947237,0.0,0.10887369616578482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209964866286202,0.0,0.0,0.07481218193909968,0.22192436405035074,0.0,0.14413949821819882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880724897059118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512071021516157,0.2742685190452627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21731154100373626,0.0,0.0,0.10093690810466198,0.0,0.0,0.1447732721362568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025575144112833,0.1591259074279865,0.13684586051770128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872068414874848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084760915838632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534049380785315,0.10479769531611956,0.0,0.0,0.09635183269795508,0.0,0.32613508838355715,0.0,0.15593373301798094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829867433041536,0.0,0.0,0.10941422750511892,0.11898154317929653,0.0,0.15567380133786002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601515561277737,0.0,0.0924217208385398,0.0,0.1329769082348755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223950819742248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973075939713373,0.0,0.0,0.096701158182206,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jakelow10,2018/02/23,"Why do I feel no connection to my friends or family?? Hello, I am an 18 year old male that seems to have lost the ability to connect. Up until I was about 16 I loved my family more than I could even put into words, specifically my parents and grandparents. Now I feel absolutely nothing for them. IT EVEN FEELS AKWARD to hug my mother who has been nothing but loving and caring to me and I don't know why. Like it feels like i can't let anyone in. My friends I just talk to because they are there I don't feel any genuine connection to them and honestly I feel like I wouldent care if anything happened to them (God forbid). I was bullied a lot between 6-11 grade and was never really ""accepted"" into the crowd of people I wanted to be. Here's the thing, I'm not that quiet I don't consider myself weird or abnormal in any way. I don't get why I was never accepted... but that's besides the point. 

I suffer from pretty bad depression that has gone on for a few years now and I have not told anyone at all. I've been taking a fish oil supplement and It DEFINETLEY helps me with my mood and anxiety but it has not helped with my connection issues. 

I just want to be able to feel connection with people again what is causing this and what can I do?",2.3927486631016066,4.151409396078435,4.247317290552587,85.25610962566847,76.6078431372549,7.7736185383244205,24.139928698752232,8.575989854853784,1.6307254901960777,976,32,201,20,22,331,143,255,0.118,0.7240000000000001,0.157,0.8192,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,4,1,10,20,0,0,8,0,26,3,0,1,3,46,48,16,0,4,11,2,7,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,13,14,0,1,11,0,0,2,11,6,0,0,9,9,35,13,29,35,4,20,0,3,0,3,18,8,0,5,12,145,48,1,0.11420789953068355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553305760732313,0.0,0.0873687305402053,0.0,0.0,0.15971363763556798,0.0,0.09398337017005468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953588256409704,0.0696200755145061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328851302580633,0.11732297283182523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118571459388597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983670965153032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508664810393259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153300868695278,0.0,0.40422861896296,0.16318029248907534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647347974492422,0.0,0.059668913747562315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099366837760307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310229531243338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920337496620045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276567478745941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678531509205503,0.0,0.16738863254057545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467141354544335,0.097095472067851,0.20615417660108784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616834562347472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21917111960754915,0.0,0.1198419787208776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268143568351448,0.0,0.0,0.1583547548378959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796338031195052,0.0,0.0,0.11619049230373385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481048346185208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316450489976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397058238400717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587012709860711,0.09179598352441848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587465367460221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913054227357996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472555633568234,0.09065291470730656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091645962720859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709228568937865
mentalhealth,kurtcobabe12,2018/02/23,How to use controlled dissociation? How do you use controlled dissociation to cope? Like a self-induced mild dissociative state to disconnect when in crisis. I used to be able to do this (i have a history of dissociation) but cannot seem to make myself disconnect. sometimes distraction and other coping skills aren’t enough,5.525059523809528,8.85342519642857,6.382142857142861,65.92952380952383,73.82142857142857,9.447619047619048,30.76190476190476,9.725611199111238,3.893390476190477,265,12,40,8,6,87,42,56,0.115,0.8540000000000001,0.032,-0.6767,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,8,0,11,11,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,8,10,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,28,6,0,0.2397839717778035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5378762271875485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24776094114243954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714633665438368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005766311473946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829032225035047,0.2501469775053396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23715247934852998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6212890903850603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shayyynaynay,2018/02/23,"how do you deal with co-occurring mental disorders when the justify themselves and you end in a loop? I'm bipolar 2, GAD, ptsd, and borderline personality disorder. I'm stuck in this loop and I know i can overcome it but i keep justifying things... and get stuck in the loop. My hypomania blames it on the borderline symptoms of being reckless and impulsive, the abandonment issues and highly intense interchangeable moods. Then my borderline justifies it on the hypomania of the euphoria, the grandeur feeling, the ""episode"" I'm having. It just feeds itself after awhile...",5.954848484848482,8.829963070707072,6.697979797979798,66.63363636363638,69.8080808080808,10.864646464646466,36.252525252525245,10.746095033038511,5.087634343434344,460,25,69,16,9,151,65,99,0.156,0.718,0.126,-0.3314,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,4,3,0,1,0,14,13,10,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,7,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,0,9,10,0,10,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26107328579245764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5804565426334299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429029011547733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804279341550914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230438980632694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26755577952727544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26431065687704514,0.0,0.22508614500939508,0.0,0.0,0.1391708643912834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255200458585045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211142892180049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960171660522849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632072400632911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823751474099427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,historyiseverything,2018/02/23,"What can I [25M] expect from a first meeting with community mental health team/initial psychiatric assessment? [UK] Hi all,

Over the last few weeks I've been going through the worst period of mental health in about ten years. After years of self managing my poor moods, I've finally decided to pursue extensive support from the NHS and support services at university, as this threatens to tank my second year here. 

Anyway this week, at my first medication review with my GP I brought up the fact that I think I have c-ptsd. We discussed why and she's decided to refer me to our local community mental health team and to receive a psychiatric assessment.

As someone who has never gone beyond a short term counselling assessment and surgery appointments, I'm curious to know what to expect from this. Will I have to go into detail about what I think the triggering trauma is? (I tried doing this with my college counsellor when  I had my last assessment but found it very difficult) or would it be predominantly a discussion of symptoms etc? 

Love to you all",8.037442298634009,8.347660082901559,8.127338671691007,68.04398021667453,62.16062176165804,11.785021196420159,36.71643900141309,11.389717465364855,4.495957512953368,848,37,139,23,11,276,125,193,0.045,0.892,0.062,0.6358,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,1,0,3,6,7,0,0,9,0,11,6,0,1,4,26,23,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,11,9,0,0,7,1,1,5,1,3,0,4,5,0,19,3,31,15,6,29,0,0,0,1,13,9,0,1,15,100,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415903250317706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514203217209534,0.0,0.23515069893275145,0.0,0.15155817002970515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571145562138189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407847641778092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596564309047572,0.2253460144532797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475476965969096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924860823940638,0.4178992572516812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660876118029344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615793254093663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420033551507222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171188242259686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137154793659261,0.0,0.1436702096012091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771398582165281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384668749193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405129915308185,0.0,0.0,0.22175384422214106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247278731894224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819210559698724,0.0,0.0,0.2670399094858657
mentalhealth,ms_vritra,2018/02/23,"Feeling disconnected and hollow It's like I'm in a bubble, nothing really connects emotionally. Usually when I get like this I can't hold it inside for more than a day or two and I can't interact with my SO while in this state of mind. This time I talk and laugh as if everything is fine while I'm in full panic mode on the inside trying to figure out if he still loves me, if we really should live together, if we're still okay, how he feels (he's very private and rarely talk about his emotions), if I'll ever get away from the anxiety and everything thats wrong with me or if I'll die lonely and broken and so on. 

While I feel panic and dread and just want to run away from my feelings it's also like there's an invisible wall between me and those I care about. I can't talk to my SO, I can't talk to my best friend, not anyone. I try but I just can't bring myself to even write a note or anything. And the longer I'm stuck inside myself the bigger is the risk that I do something drastic like break up with someone, run away from home or even kill myself, at least it feels like that.

I don't know how to cope and I don't know how to break out and start talking.",2.7718844444444457,3.612685904000003,4.222666666666669,89.5257777777778,73.96000000000002,7.315555555555558,22.288888888888888,7.594959193182576,0.654382222222222,916,21,209,11,18,305,128,250,0.112,0.773,0.115,-0.4939,0,2,1,0,0,1,19.0,1,0,0,1,18,19,1,4,9,1,11,1,0,3,1,50,29,36,2,8,14,0,5,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,11,19,0,1,8,0,0,3,8,7,0,1,1,5,25,12,32,27,4,32,0,1,0,1,14,15,0,10,16,137,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908029560624635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521472189885995,0.0,0.0,0.07788801056407246,0.0,0.09166628269221963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31396989325053465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689923303212366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135717635280752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183874852028001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560750861850365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25060244578495433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714698435168055,0.1007606148841161,0.0,0.0,0.2002242389140622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28161619589187503,0.07957860414048375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606133113075032,0.0,0.11639564543439765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173545082570928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232389561954471,0.0,0.12243647100598175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721029915924669,0.0,0.09836134623479086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053580221854097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247435946031184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688381237852873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26138947277913066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272138096436565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094382242703579,0.08575515144385723,0.0,0.0,0.07884396674928977,0.0,0.1779158966624451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476641218831695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495368288093352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125597262999702,0.0,0.10881398555397066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226827619919631,0.091910224239921,0.06570200084646545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178987518797048,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_black_sheep6,2018/02/23,"Any tips on how to maintain your mental health with all the horrible things going on, and negativity? I’ve stayed off the majority of social media because of all the negativity I encountered which has helped, but there are things that you can’t avoid like hearing about all the school shootings and other horrible things in the news. How do you not let these things affect your mental health. I seem to get wrapped up in it and just feel horrible.",9.430662650602413,8.34711275903615,8.567560240963857,70.59543674698797,59.96385542168675,11.673493975903616,35.207831325301214,10.686352973137794,3.540665060240963,361,12,65,7,4,113,58,83,0.2,0.765,0.035,-0.9393,0,1,0,1,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,5,2,0,1,5,0,5,2,0,3,3,17,10,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,12,9,4,8,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,1,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777767527311735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350552478740945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244267568382186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585223373324047,0.0,0.1151445286343439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307171796472096,0.2283494455486686,0.0,0.13580119806663474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071763283982923,0.0,0.098982085998375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40835438084130027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504607594981406,0.0,0.18444308261506906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065292749978728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159489187267232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5384044099861486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheThingsSheCarried,2018/02/23,"I think I need to cut ties with a family member but I need advice I have a family member who has struggled with mental health issues his whole life. My earliest memory is him being six and telling me he wanted to jump off his bunk bed to see if he would die when he's sad. He's an adult now and things have only gotten worse. 

We have a history of schizophrenia in our family. He is undiagnosed but in the last 5 years has been in out of the hospital when he goes through episodes. He'll have periods of really bad times where he hurts our other family members, ruins their stuff and steals. He gets really paranoid and thinks his friends and strangers are out to get him, people are stealing his DNA to frame him for crimes and so on. On top of that there are definitely drugs and alcohol in the mix. 

The hard part is he goes through good periods just as long as the bad and I let him back in my life because I love him and care about him. When he's good he's open to reason and knows the things he was doing were crazy.

He just recently had another hospital stay and is back to his old manipulative ways. He's also possibly on hard drugs.

I guess I'd just love to hear some wisdom from people who have dealt with similar situations. 

Is there any way left for me to help him? I feel like I've tried everything and just need to keep my distance until he decides he wants help but I still worry about everyone he lives with. ",4.563739035087718,5.235841506944446,5.399356725146202,83.34973684210526,69.69444444444444,9.396491228070175,25.921783625730995,9.549672527348893,1.9770388888888888,1126,31,237,24,19,368,159,288,0.171,0.6890000000000001,0.141,-0.8564,0,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,3,0,1,1,18,17,1,1,10,0,23,8,0,2,0,44,43,24,1,7,8,0,3,1,1,2,6,1,1,1,7,20,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,9,0,1,5,5,30,8,39,34,3,35,0,3,1,2,44,15,0,3,17,145,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009850394497916,0.0,0.10947208943983096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191740228877642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965945703520754,0.10741225161515867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753271066172908,0.17105824714210344,0.06244355466504201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443952591601817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631157796069432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375846505426771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978812351426722,0.09206216377854733,0.0,0.3862672067244164,0.0,0.05179432118609174,0.0731797361536617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914119094201713,0.0,0.1070363411663707,0.0,0.0,0.17183559218767866,0.0,0.0,0.11284393502572625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352365983691565,0.0,0.0,0.10888384061671977,0.115451929056569,0.0,0.13732032716185946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096590134111019,0.0,0.0,0.10691574816531917,0.0,0.09104912332960499,0.0,0.0,0.056295713782475575,0.08349836989186207,0.0,0.0,0.11129615791426056,0.1047469448019404,0.1447060396708422,0.050044670540353886,0.0,0.09045216918449464,0.09065193946091356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849035569249637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032306010061688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22786323596498245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748852387936124,0.0,0.0,0.0779065948818472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092735271116146,0.0,0.1420313568624205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154803107247916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124524003990684,0.1053204588322884,0.10114241429644463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162760189266928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151414705222754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091823069014927,0.08180489288499806,0.0,0.0,0.10708752499285536,0.11726381070415172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953289058821354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610680681993698,0.13127269581261855,0.0,0.0,0.059730796069809425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954678514584317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083788447015532,0.16261660715641196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436525639034577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402793044121757,0.10439023264584536,0.07276703582701145,0.0,0.0,0.0659649182679851
mentalhealth,MentalIssuesWhatToDo,2018/02/23,"I need help, but I don't know what's wrong with me [Serious, long post] Hey,

First of all, I'm not looking for a diagnosis on Reddit. I'm aware I need professional help (like my GP says), but unfortunately it will take a long time to get it where I live. It takes 2 more months before I can go to my first appointment during business hours and as I have a fulltime job, this isn't really a good option for me. However, the shortest waiting list I found to see a psychiatrist during evening hours is one year and in the meantime I really have no idea what to do anymore...

I'm 25 years old and have a long history of mental illnesses. Suicidal thoughts, depression, behavioral issues, you all know it. A few years ago, I was prescribed antidepressants (Effexor), Alprazolam (Xanax) to take when I felt bad and wanted to calm down, and an antipsychotic (Seroquel) to help me sleep. I wasn't psychotic or something, but I reacted terribly on sleeping pills, so the psychiatrist prescribed this as an alternative. My life has been a hell until a few years ago.

But that has changed now. I found a good paying job, moved to an appartment I rent myself (no more being in the depressing environment I was in with my mom) and even had a good relationship. I'm not feeling depressed at all, my life is completely different compared to years ago.

I was still on the medications (they never really did anything, but I was scared it would get worse if I stopped taking them) so I decided to slowly taper them off about 2 years ago. I'm not taking the antidepressant anymore for a long time, the Seroquel is recently fully tapered off but was a hell because it caused terrible sleeping issues.

About one year ago, suddenly I started to get weird symtoms. First, I thought it was caused by stopping with the medicine, so I started taking them again. After a while, I realised there's not any difference between taking them and not taking them at all, so it doesn't seem to be related to it.

Every day when I wake up, everything is normal. But then, after about an hour (when I'm fully awake), it starts. It's very hard to describe what I feel, also because it can differ from day to day. But generally, I feel like a little euphoric, having conversations with others in my head. Don't understand me wrong, I'm not thinking I'm actually talking to someone. It's more like imagining a conversation that I could or could not have with someone one day. 

I also start to feel a little ""detached"". I feel like my brain is fully active and needs rest. I always fully realise what I'm doing and can continue to do my work (I have to drive in pretty dangerous traffic situations and never had an accident), but as the day passes, it gets worse and worse. I discovered taking Xanax helps a lot for this, so over the last few months, I've been taking 0.5mg every day (some days more). As soon as something special happens (like an important thing at work), it can get worse again and I need more of the Xanax to calm down and concentrate again.

So this is what I basically experience every day. Xanax helps a lot for this:

*  Thinking a lot, having these conversations in my head. Some times, I don't even know if I was just thinking something or saying it out loud. When I suddenly realise someone is in the toilet next to me, I get really scared that the guy next to me heard me saying something to myself.
* I can feel a lot of exitement for a small thing, up until a point my brains feel like I will explode.
* When this happens, I feel very nervous and cannot concentrate anymore
* At the end of the day, I often have a small headache because of this.
* During evening, I can feel restless and nervous. I cannot fall asleep, but also not just lie in bed without moving.
* When these things happen, sometimes I cannot fully recall events. For example, I don't remember the details driving home again from work today. However, I'm a 100% sure I was driving safely. I remember having to stop last second for a pedestrian and was able to do this without any issue. If I wouldn't be fully concentrated on the road, I would have hit him.

There's 2 more things that's scaring me off more:

* About a year ago, I went to a pub and didn't drink so much. Only one of my collegeas live in this town. I'm having some vague memories of meeting him in the pub and having an embarrasing conversation with him (like I was very drunk and blacked out), but I don't know if this really happened or not. I didn't even drink much that evening. 

* My mom was worried about me a few years ago (before all of this started) because I was talking to myself in the shower. I didn't realise it.

Some way, the talking to myself (and having conversations with myself) part have been there for my whole life. But the feeling of being detached to the world and feeling like my brains are overactive and about to explode any moment have started one year ago, out of no reason.

I feel like I'm going crazy and have no idea what to do. Right now, I'm taking Xanax every day to calm the effects, but this medicine is not meant to take long-term. I tried taking the Seroquel again (as it's an antipsychotic), but things seem to get worse instead of better.

I've been researching a lot and cannot find any mental disorder with these symtoms. I think it's more like a combination of mild psychosis, mania and dissociation at the same time.

I hope someone, anywhere, can relate to these symtoms. Do I have a brain tumor? Brain damage? Gotten crazy from taking the medicine for years? Am I getting psychotic? Or just crazy in general? I really don't know.

If anyone had or has a similar experience and how to deal with it, I'd love to hear. I'm not looking for a diagnosis, but if anyone knows how I could learn to deal with this in the meantime I'd be really thankful.

Thanks!",4.382421695951109,5.870345142602496,5.363135981665399,80.4020989304813,70.83600713012478,8.301858925388338,28.86516424751719,8.807740022047533,2.2888757830404893,4558,174,862,83,84,1497,371,1122,0.138,0.77,0.092,-0.9949,7,0,6,0,0,0,171.0,0,1,6,8,48,44,3,6,69,0,92,27,12,7,8,168,189,81,1,19,43,2,14,10,0,5,11,6,4,1,54,39,3,5,41,5,2,10,36,20,0,9,33,24,102,24,128,142,32,146,2,4,4,1,37,44,2,26,100,600,156,9,0.033705379796246035,0.0,0.03289158862164797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23902228418501556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086254013691893,0.02804557607215637,0.0,0.0,0.09168325627267776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028003955645216,0.04713517048530045,0.0,0.0277366556878302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02814258425521081,0.08218594672706744,0.0,0.057361591376162174,0.0,0.0,0.029809669391143524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881317544548525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924941924982896,0.035655822650557265,0.0,0.035339449444677894,0.0,0.0,0.08073300940676079,0.0,0.0,0.21737181592079016,0.06949753314333862,0.08709118268858966,0.0,0.0,0.10564484418802604,0.0386292853436596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603688085643347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029852962212726982,0.0,0.0,0.13357251283447705,0.0,0.11359294471779115,0.0,0.03029222202543055,0.06594065799207292,0.0,0.0,0.20450943309996264,0.12039565030545747,0.032362450313783105,0.0,0.030806106509328964,0.08600933650885688,0.0,0.07391241846704348,0.0,0.0,0.14087735844231733,0.0,0.038311088157977666,0.08481142029653428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033373625150546364,0.11922222416037676,0.0,0.030193399886147908,0.0,0.06918288734651014,0.0,0.03798841266275775,0.0,0.112960027992551,0.0,0.03380924410432354,0.033477047297927005,0.0995790290027158,0.0,0.0,0.07609854231406497,0.0,0.10553897872407704,0.06689477724470587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114157158510464,0.054948766262111474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142131960977273,0.16466746043950567,0.06756329055364876,0.05952493574253799,0.14914100236615213,0.056608060224054714,0.0,0.0,0.14327554293490335,0.030420421211998692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03395462415891914,0.06793419048936551,0.0,0.0,0.07895066690559244,0.05380662517056647,0.07164696919567624,0.049554664681891236,0.09996844815839914,0.051991333539238016,0.0,0.07169210758500906,0.0,0.033024115870584216,0.0,0.0,0.03536812624100135,0.0,0.1141981882601082,0.025634460157627912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036499641754051015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03186247844899021,0.0,0.03228043681727713,0.03429048855554862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511477056113553,0.03465474405361886,0.03327999630147654,0.036186964014907515,0.07636324967606943,0.02878421018292773,0.0,0.08041161254658327,0.10123489538126564,0.0,0.026858823847375028,0.061368223761936035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037886259091034914,0.10118916425531413,0.0,0.11423383569307062,0.10379219225207603,0.033335482462817104,0.0,0.14314104780252415,0.0,0.0269171598442961,0.08453762020998958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036868214892584364,0.0,0.03176692157117668,0.0,0.3547915128870778,0.08127332262938303,0.0,0.0620627705115854,0.0,0.0,0.11196178327069334,0.08638818563939245,0.0,0.05351661326152307,0.07861551204270131,0.0,0.03194875898022607,0.0,0.0,0.022883740402413984,0.0,0.0,0.035088489051953865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343140473450211,0.0198803062801042,0.026753761625968483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031245224750870368,0.0,0.03763085285400306,0.0,0.06498156668859655,0.0,0.07361375376240913,0.03422944928115758,0.1717433077176471,0.04788666950532698,0.0737030832960628,0.0,0.23875675465947505
mentalhealth,BMXKID4,2018/02/23,"I went numb for 5 years When I was a freshman in high school, my dad shot himself about 30 feet in front of me. But I didn't have time to deal with that, I had to step up and help out my mom as much as possible. I couldn't spend time to grieve because I had to be strong for my mom. So I just pushed all my feelings behind a wall.

I got some school counseling but nothing really. I had no one to talk to about how I was feelings which forced me to put up a barrier.

I felt nothing until about my junior or senior year or high school when I could feel some form of happiness and nothing else. I avoided everything that could cause me emotions and whenever my friends tried to talk to me about something real and emotional I couldn't understand because I couldn't feel anything. 

I thought I was fine then but I really wasn't. I am now a sophomore in college and everything is catching up with me and I don't know how to deal with it. Recent events have cause me to almost like... Break.

For the past 2 months I have been the most emotionally unstable than I've ever been. Ive never turned to intoxication to help me cope but for the past month and a half I have been smoking weed almost everyday, keep in mind I used to do it maybe once a week before. And I started to black out from alcohol 2-3 times a week and I wasn't keeping up with my classes. 

There have been a couple times when I just feel so shitty I will eat like one meal a day. 

This past Monday when I woke up I realised things need to change so I went and did paperwork for my school's counseling but the meeting isn't until this upcoming Wednesday and this has been the longest week of my life. 

I have no clue how to deal with these emotions. Sadness, betrayal, empathy, anything other than laughing and smiling is all new to me. And it's breaking me into pieces. 

Everything from the emotions I didn't experience when my died passed away is coming to me now and even all the times when I should've felt emotion but didn't in the past 5 years is all coming to me. I have no clue how to handle this stuff. 

I was a pretty social kid before my dad shot himself but after that I became very antisocial and just felt dead inside and that dead inside feeling became who I am for many years.

I just don't know how to handle all this and there is this one person I've been becoming friends with and I keep doing things like I would've when I had no emotion, because I didn't know better. But I keep doing things to hurt them and it just makes me feel sick now. But they don't know what I've been going through the past 2 months because I don't know if I'm prepared to tell them. 

I just feel like I'm 100% breaking and don't know how to handle everything and I'm just so mad at myself that I did not get help years ago.

One more thing to put those of you reading this to understand more. My junior year of school, my favorite grandma, I loved her so much, passed away and I literally did not feel a thing. Idk how I could do that.",4.3643303922786965,4.629093216478194,5.087883683360257,86.85436891595215,69.98546042003231,8.158087900252683,27.50345884594673,7.969615865706242,1.4579240379437466,2347,72,512,28,39,760,234,619,0.1,0.775,0.125,0.8288,0,1,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,3,2,38,18,1,1,20,0,58,9,1,11,7,113,100,58,4,8,21,4,12,4,2,1,5,0,0,2,29,33,3,6,21,1,1,13,22,6,0,5,32,13,83,12,75,60,14,83,0,3,1,1,28,19,0,8,52,358,112,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046983193616280026,0.0566431620158545,0.10614796164513572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723248002705626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959449879018928,0.0,0.0,0.12923843517874495,0.058536692576485125,0.09020182408358456,0.0,0.0,0.04687608014179272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088955829712092,0.05606922969047237,0.09131329021654593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695367296370572,0.058645852893481225,0.0,0.03418199152083616,0.16392861778527087,0.0,0.0,0.05500784688958114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423441483805983,0.04427648167479935,0.4173418661485132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03500740947627905,0.04794346441921661,0.0,0.0,0.19053960092008776,0.05184625713355453,0.0,0.0,0.2411952423043636,0.037864734951529616,0.15267108077465535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189863413761246,0.0,0.0276914273094392,0.0,0.03012233405289296,0.0,0.04239064820836043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056421756962750015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657863907550387,0.11199932868207192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673988041086755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18844292716254185,0.0,0.0,0.17477151954781542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03743697453702697,0.10357666126416096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783649506372602,0.0,0.035379335855971444,0.05373584462313689,0.05324776733719808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053517045892002575,0.12415091695763897,0.12691739250239228,0.0,0.07792533364084013,0.039300410598616206,0.04087851303691538,0.05118979106674326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257093046684125,0.0,0.0,0.05644554265644275,0.14366247017872105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529826699722504,0.0,0.04627941881536792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059751942102290886,0.0,0.05392222464931745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656356744135743,0.0,0.0,0.053016476894410115,0.06032803186754965,0.06790904817319833,0.0,0.05233321286716675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682049450916297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402900065659003,0.0,0.04080363202171389,0.0,0.0,0.037515183078843634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060674762510699136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520221486917083,0.04632620107359288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606131274217787,0.0,0.0,0.042077773813046775,0.15452985214910706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03598496967451231,0.057651101589689474,0.0,0.11035418093851657,0.0,0.04577682601931369,0.0,0.04373231118802464,0.0,0.0,0.12754534399884598,0.0,0.0,0.0982670180102886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03765119512063697,0.0,0.0,0.20478981840589136
mentalhealth,smileybriley11,2018/02/23,"Just broke down in school. Again. Basically I missed a few days at my high school because a sinus infection and I lost my calculator. Even though I was back in school for more than a week, I never got myself caught up in any of my classes we had a test today in calc and I decided to skip class by hiding in the library. Everything was fine until the librarian's substitute found me, and I just started crying and I couldn't stop. I ended up going to guidance and they called my mom and I went home. (I'm home alone all weekend btw, my choice) But I'm still so upset. I know I need to catch up, but I just don't. Why do I put myself into these positions constantly? It's so frustrating and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of this year. Any advice appreciated, but mainly advice to make me calmer pls. Also, I already have sleepover plans tonight, but I just don't feel up to it. Should I cancel? ",1.163095238095238,3.3743683121693127,3.204494708994712,88.91944047619052,82.80952380952381,6.108042328042327,20.56111111111111,7.365786028017652,0.6425003174603181,717,21,152,11,20,242,113,189,0.115,0.8170000000000001,0.068,-0.7551,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,1,2,13,6,1,1,7,0,10,2,0,3,2,31,28,17,0,3,8,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,5,9,0,1,5,1,0,6,5,5,0,0,8,1,28,1,25,18,5,34,0,3,0,0,4,13,0,0,15,105,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28412610448210346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056919849495726,0.16042976618288854,0.11625984147773487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19772593383244788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178777315549601,0.0,0.0886219235941117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844860624146802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710346796548244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969242768162056,0.09375767624126484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876298402013167,0.0,0.0,0.09602171253601872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065761691588235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350818510228728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594009916024986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652449092698903,0.0,0.11627317466140395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536013018933052,0.2916547528728522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597934157422194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869877192667053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940837364489523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026657838346065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779697171265627,0.11212554389065284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614643575098196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413950964714085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029002768049355,0.0,0.11610016447281818,0.12154367532700205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283450740665776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780265799820945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661457331448108,0.0,0.0,0.13476814617701666,0.13118228243959293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936195573425603
mentalhealth,Aurizen,2018/02/23,"Is this something a therapist can help me with? I have been told I can be very anti-social and annoying at times. I have thought a lot about it, but I can never understand what exactly about my personality is flawed. I have very little friends and people understand pretty quickly something is off about me. 

Could a mental health professional help me figure this out? How would they even be able to help me pinpoint things if the only reference they have is me and my memory of event?

I'd like to know before I waste my time, money and energy.",5.563186813186816,6.631740923076923,6.315824175824176,76.24346153846155,67.65384615384616,9.78901098901099,28.31868131868132,9.957137785484203,2.7317104395604392,432,14,79,10,7,142,68,104,0.05,0.74,0.21,0.9592,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,4,0,16,1,0,1,2,20,21,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,6,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,16,2,10,14,1,9,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,6,62,21,1,0.18278958902188308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555404771682422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594261310974474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073079961928206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122278304912647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429678550372795,0.0,0.0,0.3675600254465933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004563777656949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930176013731432,0.18320318874797267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540117196884398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184208913163893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097859967439708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901971926548407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267232856721238,0.15960481861078554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596272607871386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28144071184075925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122328013607493,0.1214372807778688,0.0,0.0,0.14511451588814867,0.21317215862719271,0.0,0.0,0.17466328558615707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38058081718573816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016411084348926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984847955162862,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kywim,2018/02/23,"Should I see a Psychiatrist, or a Psychologist? Hello

I'm a 18 years old male, I live in Belgium, and honestly very few are the moments where I can genuinely say ""I'm happy!"". I'd like to go to a therapy to feel better. I don't want all of what's happening in my head to, one day, push me over the edge.

However, I don't know what's the best therapy type for me, Psychologist or Psychiatrist? I'll try to list a few of my current problems so you can guide me better.

* I was bullied a lot when I was a child, mostly because I had different passions than most kid my age (I'm really into programming.)
* I have a really low self esteem, I constantly feel like I'm underperforming ,or that I'm a failure. Nothing is perfect, be it my code when I'm programming or my grades.
* I have absolutely no motivation for anything. Seriously. I like worldbuilding, I've built 2 different worlds that I really like and I feel could make great stories, I've layed out a few stories but I never wrote anything concrete, even tho I'd love to. I've attempted to write a Tabletop RPG to play with some friends, but gave up after 7 pages.. (Like 10% of the story I had planned) Also, I'm currently working on a big project in C++ ([Link if you're curious](https://github.com/Pierre-vh/Moonshot)), but most of the time I don't feel like coding, even tho I just can't wait to see the results. I wrote probably 6-7k Lines of code in 3 month? With proper motivation I'd have written at least 2 times that ! :(
* I rage a lot playing videogames and even throw tantrums. This seems like nothing, but I'm really sad and disappointed in myself when such things happen, I want it to stop. (And my poor keyboard too, it's nearly broken, but I absolutely refuse to buy a new one before I solve this problem.)
* I have a lot of parental problems. My parents aren't the worst (they care for me and stuff), but I have a lot of issues with them. They don't want to give me independance, like a credit card or something like that, but they always like ""yeah, he spends all of his time playing games and doesn't want to do anything, but we want him to get independant! It's his fault!"". Here are some example situations:
* > My teacher says that I should move to another country after I graduate to find a good job that pays well. I'd love to do that, my dream is to fly to another country like Canada or Australia. But my parent's won't even let me go 300km away (to Paris) for a Festival (lollapalooza) even if I pay for it. They don't want to give me any ounce of responsability. They just think maturity and independance will come one day when ""I grow up""...
* > They don't care a single bit about my insecurities. They'll make jokes of them in front of guests. One day, they even said ""Pierre, you never brought a girl home, please tell us you're not gay ? We'd be disappointed."" at a fucking christmas dinner. I was beyond upset, and they acted like I'm angry over literally nothing. (*Well, sorry Mom if the only relationship I felt like it was going somewhere was with a girl that bullshitted me and used me to (try to) get with my friend.*)
* > If I feel depressed, they don't care and get upset because I'm not talkative or in a bad mood.

I feel like a psychiatrist would be the most appropriate specialist, because they could see a pattern in all of this and help me with proper medical care, while (I think) a Psychologist will just help me to get it off my chest and won't help me on the long run. (At least that's the experience I had with psychologists)


So, what type of therapy would be the most adapted for me? I really want to get help and become a better, happier person, for me and the persons around me.


PS: I'm not a native english speaker, if I made mistakes, please point them out and I'll edit.

Thanks, kind strangers ! I hope to get a good answer ASAP so I can phone to a specialist near me and take a appointement soon ! :)",2.3679481672394047,4.435412395618563,4.108436426116839,84.80354524627724,77.75,7.455441008018327,24.953035509736534,8.387378750377035,1.648732588774342,3033,110,626,61,72,1019,329,776,0.108,0.685,0.207,0.998,9,0,1,0,0,0,156.0,3,2,14,10,30,64,3,3,45,1,49,9,2,10,6,122,116,49,0,23,27,4,7,14,3,9,1,4,1,8,24,30,1,3,16,6,6,12,18,19,2,4,16,14,91,44,84,83,24,70,0,5,3,5,59,31,1,25,41,388,115,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411144632418276,0.04589755360552472,0.0,0.0,0.03751070363715961,0.11568017635566205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617598419032442,0.04910411046524673,0.0,0.0,0.051824652501337255,0.0,0.04605631084661189,0.10087510466413674,0.06091990598285501,0.04693711243997957,0.0,0.05788703560243993,0.1463536596990766,0.06022045314320985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495725757156906,0.0,0.0,0.0475154711526337,0.0,0.05960838331118432,0.0,0.08808157164012048,0.0,0.0,0.10672094466399333,0.0,0.04750924252407114,0.0,0.0,0.11526095682713057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859602927292185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539570818083402,0.0,0.0,0.16734337430600868,0.11821898326245085,0.052962267355871936,0.0,0.050415256982122535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523298587921647,0.05099454764055674,0.17291299600002727,0.10582903066196153,0.09404612787553797,0.09253121180100553,0.0,0.0608141143816824,0.0,0.0,0.09755564318401333,0.05871886466880764,0.0,0.0,0.056610091951790724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478903888935821,0.0,0.055329995349286065,0.05478634380545823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575727275845329,0.05473780635882038,0.0,0.0,0.05744067031028289,0.030314503236358894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640485542943044,0.0,0.3772775785538507,0.0,0.048707306315967036,0.04881487998870578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758029844839685,0.09956813935203997,0.05219374257743328,0.0736394804426461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055567914828344285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460274620796443,0.044028199968947336,0.058626369465034286,0.0,0.0,0.08508561250446144,0.05327388893715393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587825743248506,0.0,0.05788115979136356,0.0,0.14951142251703067,0.04195167915989082,0.0,0.0,0.18374601613287506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963271998837169,0.0,0.12109827065407648,0.0521440461360066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947182866826641,0.15834206260007785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668459935154845,0.0,0.0,0.0592212160813607,0.0,0.0,0.052469808466530286,0.08773092026749538,0.0,0.0,0.1318661778397327,0.05021560856055414,0.05754392854213537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200217114705441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04246487659469129,0.0,0.061747123935527774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046116244802017314,0.0,0.0,0.06314502348854427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147346865387922,0.0,0.048212286853388464,0.05078393342918151,0.18924086287101446,0.0,0.036645864832411536,0.07068862431398748,0.0,0.0,0.09649274993288344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490006260612722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066350709767051,0.04764054500766862,0.0,0.045512791528260134,0.2277436536109713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919096094917887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040157149927690185,0.0,0.0,0.07836818808627882,0.0,0.0,0.03552124298570443
mentalhealth,Lord_Blathoxi,2018/02/23,"Question about cutting, and acupuncture as an alternative I've never done self-harm other than punching myself in the face a few times. So I don't have any experience with either cutting or acupuncture. But this was intriguing to me...

So, [it's been determined that acupuncture increases serotonin levels and may be an effective treatment for depression.](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S187638201630124X)

Since acupuncture involves piercing the skin, I wonder if cutting is related somehow. As if cutting triggers serotonin release and therefore makes the person feel better through the same mechanism?

Thoughts?",11.582977443609025,14.760566726315794,8.458646616541357,58.590526315789496,55.42105263157895,9.639097744360905,48.30827067669172,9.957137785484203,5.974353383458648,529,33,57,10,7,151,77,95,0.065,0.8370000000000001,0.098,0.7205,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,4,0,7,0,8,2,2,4,1,21,12,11,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,2,4,1,9,6,4,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,7,2,46,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100528647315368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731842958843819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160973087922257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021494802131089,0.0,0.0,0.1561818883610465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061835999391436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382316901714209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26970707458414184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34602267019528243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222351453361769,0.0,0.0,0.2555134388281985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452207389510589,0.1801137327386478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349733600295263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anewvogue,2018/02/23,"How to help my brother Right now my 13 year old brother is in CPEP waiting for a bed... He's been hospitalized once before for suicidal thoughts but things seem to be escalating.

The other night I got a call that they found cuts all over his body, this is a new development, last time he was hospitalized he told me he thought about it and with my own experience with it I told him don't do it, it's not worth it, things get better with help and you'll regret the scars someday.

While he was in the psych ward too he displayed some alarming behavior, he constantly joked about killing himself, he wrote ""kill"" on the wall the day he was originally supposed to be released, and so they kept him longer.

During that hospital stay he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (runs in the family, I have it as well as our mother), and he was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum (I believe asbergers is suspected but from my understanding there's no formal diagnosis).

He starts taking medication, an anti depressant and an anti psychotic and all seems well when he was released.

That is until the self harm came to light, which I guess prompted my stepmom to go through his room in which she found videos on his phone of himself expressing violent ideations.

Everyone in my family, my siblings, myself, my stepmom, all believe he is capable of something bad, my stepmom was scared to sleep at night, scared to send him to school etc.

I just don't know what I can do to help him, this isn't something I'm familiar with, he has been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication and somehow seems worse than before.",10.163894549159453,7.866263850993381,9.489867549668878,68.40146459500764,59.49668874172186,13.133367294956699,41.442689760570566,11.661520659325953,4.695674681609782,1281,55,234,29,13,410,171,302,0.184,0.745,0.071,-0.9914,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,1,1,2,1,12,15,4,3,14,0,26,7,2,2,3,41,50,17,3,1,4,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,1,17,15,0,2,10,2,1,4,5,11,2,0,19,2,32,4,37,27,6,33,0,2,1,0,43,13,0,6,15,154,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665501606750149,0.0,0.0,0.17662449110153886,0.2338572766180337,0.0,0.09178820809884078,0.0,0.11528024327541493,0.0,0.0,0.1059747144710388,0.11870085192746566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215326018602403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693187104077107,0.0,0.0893887091388925,0.2106764484199292,0.0,0.0,0.11894505891054133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574620821152053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916972897482072,0.0,0.10152032816152436,0.19567598501840716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227586839636578,0.0,0.0,0.054222675717430883,0.0,0.058982642279525675,0.0,0.08300526894365308,0.0,0.11432939558478113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20869198688889068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296424727093994,0.0,0.0570367820769182,0.08459752985284233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910222567867529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023489977740956,0.0,0.19478785761604314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108903486612958,0.11052620440808512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863067347591241,0.0,0.0,0.20781108577430685,0.10503459862148444,0.0827021353455673,0.28344222235773986,0.10826898552541636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385860534204176,0.0,0.0,0.15979545456312394,0.0,0.0,0.07345860449276294,0.11061956633959913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352247273828278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606478358834094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789849631839188,0.0,0.0,0.16478525710363226,0.06051708326993609,0.0,0.0,0.19833945794964145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080424439705968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662793777444564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576440994044796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683327051346495
mentalhealth,MasterChief864,2018/02/23,"I'm in Serious need of help I've been feeling numb for around 2 years now, I'm 19, I'm very cut off from my emotions I literally feel like I have none at this point, I feel like I'm just putting on an act around people pretending I'm feeling emotions when I'm not. I'm waking up everyday doing nothing because I'm not motivated to do anything because I cannot experience joy or happiness, I don't know what's led me to be like this but I don't even feel like myself anymore, years ago I was full of life and laughter but now there's nothing in me. Has anyone been in this state and came out the other side ? I've pretty much accepted that I'll probably be feeling this way the rest of my life and it's kind of making me suicidal ",3.82,4.036398420382163,5.5648471337579615,83.12879936305734,71.16560509554141,8.827770700636943,30.349681528662423,8.841846274778883,2.237428535031847,580,23,127,10,10,200,93,157,0.093,0.72,0.187,0.8952,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,1,0,3,0,12,4,1,3,0,25,30,7,1,1,6,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,9,1,0,4,6,3,0,0,4,6,13,8,18,24,4,26,0,0,0,0,1,13,0,1,11,72,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230433919625563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376585312144852,0.09705657825201762,0.0,0.11422574122457856,0.24713403534769185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923003964140487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875740569121513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122767639502884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168023870329144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577917649397386,0.0,0.0,0.4211077544130742,0.29748970209966635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776186595323682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303892344785898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445453803394261,0.07628430128740746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960859608426238,0.2712549477624918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265426962361288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020385869178174,0.10292309767336348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663767382133079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623079708179268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121680057790636,0.0,0.0,0.14121588832820384,0.1496566465519963,0.0,0.0,0.13953864976381536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183154094457949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452971781535208,0.0,0.11017796401506257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877338651386404
mentalhealth,AnnaphylaticShock,2018/02/23,"Advice for approaching doctors about mental health for the first time? (UK) I've [20s F] been suffering with my mental health for a while now and it's at the point where I'm missing time off work because of panic attacks etc. Because it's got to this stage, I know I really should make an appointment to speak to a doctor/nurse about it.

I have a few issues with this, one being that I've only recently signed up to a new surgery (after moving to a town) so I don't know what the staff there are like, another is that I have no idea what they will ask me, whether they will believe me our even if I'll be able to talk about everything with someone face to face.

I'd be grateful for any advice about going to a medical professional for the first time about this type of issue (especially from UK based people) and anyone's personal experience of it if they're willing to share.

Tl;dr- how do I approach a doctor about my mental health for the first time?",6.738062827225133,5.892466706806285,7.056905759162303,78.48724345549742,65.17801047120419,10.153089005235604,31.14188481675393,9.3871,2.5108760209424084,755,23,151,12,10,246,114,191,0.078,0.88,0.043,-0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,2,4,12,6,1,1,13,0,14,8,2,2,0,15,22,8,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,1,11,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,4,0,4,2,1,13,2,32,13,2,23,0,2,0,0,8,6,0,2,13,102,24,6,0.1152219994185088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251872086049177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835491073530372,0.12082031278150727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056590103834826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771701562970463,0.13108165832646876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047652278717904,0.0,0.0,0.1298157366050672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35380379633701065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850298691166168,0.0761030439313677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035541035199442,0.11270922479955152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940233215325937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548331756155715,0.0,0.09215355866494424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674267920748242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007161247352464,0.0,0.2405236635553353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664599512960986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056291648827885975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691157932534318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160740424450106,0.3483500247311114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246275064851173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128212503211966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807740877476446,0.08763152265992137,0.0,0.13518819035097698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988042659408212,0.1006074055725435,0.0,0.0,0.1089220324919967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381416325541255,0.0,0.1137678239401944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976272261977817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926110786008314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268747497806827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388298786406431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,so4r1n,2018/02/23,"Why do I cry when I feel every emotion? I can feel happy, sad, angry or love and still cry and feel it all so intensely. It's happening a lot lately. My roommate says she's pretty sure I have BPD because she does too and claims I show a lot of symptoms. ",2.4155555555555566,3.3492270370370387,4.3157407407407415,88.16583333333334,74.92592592592592,6.881481481481483,24.61111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.9360888888888884,196,6,43,2,4,67,40,54,0.2,0.5870000000000001,0.213,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,11,8,6,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,8,3,1,8,3,3,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,27,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493399046872597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581239883430633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502500381119892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793507901055376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305381617450412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267696531885438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108825849573196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812342475822241,0.21817024438167412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311895157707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484777829450593,0.18497296752573825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085051150943763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298234326008898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636712029418004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931604336188568,0.21301874940311036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18493308832965533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ijustbluemyselfff,2018/02/23,"When did you know it was time to terminate therapy? I've never been in this situation before. I've been struggling for the past 10 years or so and am finally in a good, stable place. My therapy sessions have become ""check-ins"" Last night we talked about termination as a possibility. It feels like it might be time, but I'm pretty nervous about it. I feel like as soon as I declare ""I no longer need therapy!"" *that's* when a huge depression or crisis hits. 

Anyone ever terminate before? How did you know it was time? What worked well for you going forward?",1.9215528396836767,4.618450644859816,3.7209345794392563,83.04525521207765,84.60747663551402,7.0306254493170375,22.24946081955428,8.139509932561175,1.6218388209920924,437,15,82,10,13,146,75,107,0.147,0.6920000000000001,0.161,-0.593,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,0,1,9,7,0,2,4,0,10,0,0,1,2,14,18,11,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,6,2,8,4,10,9,0,19,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,3,16,53,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876585846465492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179541037250207,0.26472727963815096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397705863509646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070605601464156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157303939756084,0.22225333866085845,0.0,0.17040005651632134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840401656162496,0.13046997731818938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097506766325282,0.1267959715121019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199009581588682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501652013688428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534013743218062,0.11997160436453615,0.0,0.0,0.1459753948380642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484923718511316,0.0,0.0,0.16251915575523804,0.0,0.0,0.17536196464473058,0.0,0.15825271815150402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484742079529927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261714792612925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250271310509205,0.0,0.0,0.5336631954967554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721115751123496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986029333583358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324400358003164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017064894006694
mentalhealth,anonwanttogetbetter,2018/02/23,"My ex just got sectioned (UK)... I’m guessing she won’t be able to go to uni abroad in August? So my ex went missing earlier this week. She is deeply unstable. I don’t want to bug her family as they are already going through enough.

I’m worried for her. She has really been looking forward to going abroad for post-grad studies in August.

However, it is now nearly March and she has only just been sectioned. I assume she overdosed. She also has bulimia, anorexia and BPD.

Has anyone had experience of this? Do you think going abroad for the Masters is unrealistic or even impossible now? I really feel for her, even though she has been horrible for me so I’m going to struggle to talk to her.",2.3709841269841263,4.824507288888891,4.341084656084656,81.11416666666669,79.81481481481481,7.116402116402117,25.939153439153447,8.192908349453996,2.0053597883597885,544,22,100,11,14,185,82,135,0.1,0.888,0.012,-0.8994,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,10,2,0,1,1,0,17,0,0,0,0,10,33,8,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,7,2,2,0,0,6,2,19,0,18,25,3,18,0,1,1,0,16,6,0,3,7,74,22,0,0.18376157813793734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202785470996326,0.14695406764567895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849036810355471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314412747857289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987483278267167,0.0,0.2427455785267764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975408450117644,0.17323406150680806,0.0,0.0929153753241732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.522179698215099,0.0,0.1469709209765448,0.0,0.20243409578244406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431344409977935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975896078775038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759927954642271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354447448785905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19210750038596536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477005957424097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774699930347562,0.18054481751203028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838733988407324,0.0,0.14740245365473142,0.0,0.0,0.17034882396233858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661880259834845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway7579489,2018/02/23,"my friend committed suicide yesterday. She was found yesterday, rather, after having been reported missing yesterday morning. I'm posting here because I needed a place to air out what's in my head and right now I'm only comfortable doing so in the privacy of an anonymous reddit account.


In the last months of my friend's life, I reached out to her a few times because I knew she was struggling and alone. The warning signs were there. I knew this was coming; I just wanted to be wrong.


She lived a couple hours north of me, but I never got the chance to meet up with her in person. We were going to hang out, she was going to take me to her favorite coffee shop, and now she's dead and it hurts so fucking much. I don't even know what she looks like. 


Yesterday was shock and tears and absolute exhaustion after the rinse and repeat of shock, exhaustion, and denial. Today I just feel lost. It feels so wrong to just pick up and continue on while grieving for someone who thought life would indeed keep going on without her. I know that life is in fact supposed to go on; I just wish she knew how many people cared about her. I wish she knew. I wish I had tried harder. I can't believe she's gone.



I saw a lot of myself in her. Over the last year or so I myself had been struggling with suicide ideation. I thought something like this would be a wake up call for me, but right now my thoughts are completely scattered. My friend was someone who had been alone her whole life, but at the same time had no idea how loved she really was. I on the other hand have had nothing but support and coddling my entire life and I can't even be fucking grateful for it. The people in my life would be devastated if anything ever happened to me but I just can't see why. I dislike myself a lot. 



I'm sorry you had so much pain in your life, Dani. I'm sorry it ended this way. I'm so sorry I failed you.



Sorry this post is a mess. This whole ordeal has been...sobering to say the least. Thanks for reading anyway.",2.8607246589408843,4.652759955112219,3.7229228399589274,89.3776862989585,75.38403990024938,6.213906410444478,24.51232213583688,6.923569853693429,0.8771759718351184,1566,51,318,15,34,500,192,401,0.209,0.675,0.115,-0.9908,0,2,1,0,0,2,45.0,1,3,0,2,24,27,2,2,18,0,36,16,3,3,4,65,79,27,4,10,14,0,3,2,3,3,10,1,0,1,15,18,0,1,13,2,2,7,7,17,0,0,30,7,57,10,46,42,9,58,0,5,3,3,31,25,2,4,25,225,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959285354833794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340229852482834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393306077670822,0.0,0.0,0.0868044655032552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867258679783351,0.0,0.07855353837545123,0.0,0.0,0.06636831239691972,0.08078127185238265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524994064693317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823989320717573,0.0,0.0,0.10177632118254702,0.06969252375901379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791355162208925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844769692691477,0.17857666027922384,0.14245558283432838,0.0,0.0,0.1751480838599352,0.0,0.06162072960745432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813152901420985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907143034330509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587479657124957,0.0,0.08247934335827876,0.08697556315734163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848203054152666,0.0,0.0,0.08468494038437348,0.12560555682457428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38093910990694,0.07528157396922018,0.0,0.06803303520250126,0.0,0.064699240846324,0.0,0.08410481731840545,0.13100351890586895,0.06953702885602077,0.0,0.0,0.07811255764419857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061497387249440816,0.0,0.11327535946727615,0.05712863750174129,0.05942262987395794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392772108637505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058596959695824326,0.08198238296060006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682799968645176,0.0672736009884719,0.08049667828503551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757755330242348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770668561469646,0.0,0.049357644577783806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159373699260524,0.0,0.061270076692269686,0.0,0.0,0.061395691923457923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305616624037712,0.059313779856666776,0.0,0.34498678527675963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109042874864626,0.0,0.1685516518649922,0.08743089503012931,0.0,0.0,0.05792900832157584,0.0,0.0,0.07093361123886227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349776888568586,0.08985229184282219,0.0,0.07303060531738334,0.0,0.0,0.05230918091524347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0454437307699366,0.061155533686636974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952203703940095,0.17203822935583585,0.2657973150827525,0.07426960077975679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419381717324372,0.1684754262348786,0.0,0.049615102071264086
mentalhealth,tonighttheyfall,2018/02/23,"Started Prozac I started taking prozac on January 23 for anxiety and depression, this past week I have been feeling so exhausted, and unmotivated. I don’t exactly feel sad but I feel like I have symptoms of my depression. I wont be seeing my psychiatrist until April 5th. Has anyone ever experienced things like this? 
Usually any time I have to sleep (aka no work or classes) I will sleep 12+ hours and I haven’t been too hungry ",3.39658536585366,5.907618597560978,5.24408536585366,75.72149390243905,76.4390243902439,8.978048780487804,28.542682926829272,9.516144504307137,3.1385560975609748,343,15,61,10,8,117,59,82,0.208,0.7,0.092,-0.8317,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,11,6,2,0,2,10,18,7,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,5,11,2,5,13,0,11,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,12,39,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359542346755436,0.0,0.16153612736012354,0.0,0.0,0.1476473467722833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637420329331536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910054877386474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203051445048866,0.15085209746779704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794917079305464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063233325205016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20157524639836827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826645741000446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226231770056905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989189841986919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21947514788961486,0.1587653580596251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402847179260047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231285646019802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325619074312864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937908662776613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537263338191377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VampireReaper,2018/02/23,"I think my dad is having a mental breakdown? What should I do? Guess I'll keep it brief but I currently live with my parents as their adult son, and I'm worried about my dad. Now while this isn't important I just want to clarify I do pay my own way and contribute to the household as I work as a software engineer.

 

Anyway one day I'm coming home from work and I notice my dad is acting strangely. He seems very upset and withdrawn and decides to leave the house and doesn't return until late at night not talking to anyone, and when he does come home he doesn't eat anything and locks himself in his room. My mom says he is angry that he is not getting a huge tax refund like he expected I guess due to some changes in the law, but she also thinks its odd he is taking it so hard. I'm like okay he should be doing well tomorrow.

 


Unfortunately he seems to have gotten worse it's been a week and he doesn't talk to anyone anymore. He even missed my little brother's birthday and didn't even acknowledge his existence basically making it awkward. And he's usually a super talkative, fun-loving kind of guy. Now he acts like a totally different person.


 


He does go to work so he maybe different at work but idk. Basically now he wakes up super early in the morning before sunrise and goes to work (presumably) and comes home late at night, locks himself in his room says nothing (literally) and goes to sleep. I don't think I've seen him eating either, but if you ask him he'll say he already ate.

 

My mom is very worried since he hasn't come home today.",3.3575734045134698,5.1063987697160895,4.724621451104103,82.90523355981558,73.9211356466877,7.7791312788158224,26.70334870177141,8.502166056373571,1.9326074739140984,1258,46,244,23,26,418,172,317,0.134,0.789,0.077,-0.918,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,1,7,13,11,0,2,10,1,22,5,2,1,1,47,48,28,0,5,9,8,1,3,0,3,0,3,6,3,8,19,3,1,8,0,3,8,9,3,1,1,5,5,27,8,26,39,4,40,0,1,1,0,46,12,0,6,22,132,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050358649961543,0.06558591257695184,0.0,0.3554449967753285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133503964167386,0.11469104849467425,0.0,0.06748986138843151,0.0,0.07667125486133157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978717792382637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675907273970476,0.28258837982021634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289171806203944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713726406167676,0.0,0.0,0.14354057772076326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783992103712153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833786738101828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04284850299297276,0.0,0.04660998172458768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069353399040894,0.08120594497007458,0.0,0.0,0.07346770267100705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32906363678871353,0.0,0.0,0.09463220153844336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289708506444846,0.0,0.08540410925647703,0.0,0.0,0.18502888466330306,0.08684011871360879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020249526827495,0.08219875470446071,0.07241914287780978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474443629697762,0.0,0.08239326534603446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264999845807383,0.0,0.0,0.1921056967340352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392763248259772,0.0,0.07869386071118918,0.09337255208695168,0.0,0.0,0.055574255117327255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910659337857413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161074774023597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956605239603675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932344266596453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784215223267337,0.0,0.08207241164260469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166370672604937,0.1318381793048684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765220778650366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773890765258806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032593401205187,0.1353389296904132,0.04837350004645631,0.06509824703011992,0.06578602820533548,0.0,0.07373970063718167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985328688999669,0.1665767360988134,0.0835784397564585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PatrickStarWarsaw,2018/02/23,"Enough is enough. I've struggled off and on for the last 5 years with feelings of inadequacy when it comes to relationships.  
I was always shy and withdrawn as a kid when it came to talking to girls.  The first time I professed feelings toward a girl I liked, I was 15.  It resulted in a fun 3 month fling and ended on good terms (actually still really good friends to this day).  My next relationship was when I was 18, and it lasted for two unhealthy years.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was being fed all of these thoughts about how I was inadequate, culminating in being cheated on.  The relationship ended when I was 20.  It was my last major relationship.   I'm 26 now.  I've had a few casual dating relationships with some nice women, but it's never really blossomed into an actual relationship, even though feelings have developed and I've liked these women.   Even though they've done nothing to fuel these bad feelings, after these relationships, I'm always left feeling hopeless and inadequate.   Like I'm not good enough for anyone.  The latest one just ended, and it's hitting me particularly hard.  

Why do I have a hard time opening up?  Why do I feel inadequate?  I'm totally confident in other parts of my life (school, work, family).  Why can't I get relationships right?

I've finally decided to see a therapist about this after having some really dark thoughts (not suicidal, but definitely not healthy) over the last couple of days.  I figured it can't hurt at this point.  

This will be my first time seeing a therapist and I have no idea what to expect.  More than anything, this post is just me venting, but I am curious as to any insight people who have felt this way might have.  Or if anyone has any insight on to what I should expect seeing a therapist for the first time.  

Thank you, and best wishes to you all.",5.046724137931033,6.437883189655175,6.216386206896551,75.28723448275865,69.11494252873564,9.361103448275859,28.862528735632186,9.692545771848811,2.744694114942529,1442,52,264,33,25,483,177,348,0.118,0.736,0.147,0.8675,0,0,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,2,0,5,15,17,1,1,16,0,31,2,0,2,4,54,55,24,1,5,11,0,9,3,1,3,1,0,0,5,23,15,1,0,15,1,0,2,8,5,0,5,16,12,24,12,41,32,14,56,0,2,3,0,18,18,0,5,37,185,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.13137465416010058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201884772374156,0.0,0.0,0.09154966809027472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413298324557287,0.0,0.05539248332548172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620315753411866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064035571547311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769876111397483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057983791176704685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448004292674558,0.0,0.0868220366891967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888409672760958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885678758779838,0.20865553640583792,0.0,0.08891859294068664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345627010827967,0.0,0.20421145019051132,0.0,0.06463059243888955,0.07373759510346745,0.0,0.17176803115787978,0.0,0.0,0.05200549983722063,0.0,0.035168022851606244,0.0,0.0,0.169375689609453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059762493045433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205946405682788,0.07598766202507283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369932104774077,0.21947481002659489,0.0,0.0,0.07313526942668769,0.0,0.04754483621594977,0.0986565178509986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140796544319973,0.0,0.0,0.05372822558540776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191557894640854,0.0,0.07158764774431098,0.0,0.0,0.06458819558354459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04561271777097305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728929190311296,0.0,0.04666603836932714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363210568924504,0.0,0.06446680444336474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293664063230748,0.0,0.0,0.5781477978760255,0.0,0.057484539612126385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681238820411475,0.16091813326585214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375587975080559,0.0,0.0,0.0703696797747779,0.0,0.07362899124041858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054103268243328916,0.0,0.061972341211355475,0.0,0.23446513398861105,0.0,0.0,0.132268453525154,0.106877272483353,0.1962524109323417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575456867401827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342955947679729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822172870885977,0.0,0.0774060966570667,0.0,0.0,0.04900432930948105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669413501147231
mentalhealth,willowrainbow,2018/02/23,"Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for anxiety, depression, ptsd - experiences? I'm in my second round of a DBT IOP group, 4 months total now. We meet 4xs a week and the session are 2.5 hours long.

I'm learning so many skills and new ways of thinking to help cope with my depression, social anxiety and ptsd. I love my therapist and the group gets along great. The hardest thing is putting what I learn to use. It's been a great experience overall and I would recommend DBT for almost anyone.


Having learned dbt this long I'm curious about the experiences of others. Anyone else here gotten help from DBT?",5.104097222222219,7.178504151785718,5.699047619047621,76.36817460317464,69.98214285714286,9.620634920634922,30.301587301587304,9.994966539143718,3.2860682539682537,483,20,85,13,9,156,77,112,0.087,0.727,0.18600000000000005,0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,7,0,5,1,0,1,1,16,13,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,7,3,12,10,1,10,0,2,1,1,8,1,0,1,7,46,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466563220369385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22407961869032664,0.0,0.0,0.2048133857487715,0.15006331459814792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522877617945976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223466914394497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4297914683284132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765181510452809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229404635340536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963351403992097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442314225919104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592210727919463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218387459267264,0.0,0.0,0.14848521275092788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690121159459453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144984731380236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34240264071572857,0.14723053200335198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929527419691035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748724808517332,0.17004878374022805,0.09730004864750497,0.09384423885246812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649250790064553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625137755339204,0.11747960585018635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403941274252028,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jessmarie9,2018/02/23,"What’s wrong with me? 21 f Sometimes I have these episodes that can last anywhere from an hour to days of feeling absolutely hopeless and alone and worthless. I end up sobbing for hours and trying to calm myself but I cannot. Sometimes are worse than others, and the episodes that aren’t as bad can be relieved if I put myself with loved ones and try to talk a little or just sit with them. However, this isn’t always an option. I can identify a trigger sometimes too, but not always. It will feel like I’m completely alone in the world and I want to leave my own body for a while. About a year ago this was happening to me really frequently. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder but didn’t do much to fix it. I was in college but never went to class and ended up failing every class of the semester. I left college and moved back home, got a job, and my life seemed to be and still does seem to be looking up. Overall I feel much better and happier, but every couple weeks or months I have a breakdown and cannot even function throughout my day. I lay in my bed sobbing and trying to journal my feelings to get them out, which does help sometimes but not so much others. These episodes feel like extreme anxiety, a feeling of impending doom, a LOT of guilt for feeling so miserable when I should feel lucky to have the life I do. I’ve tried antidepressants, but they did not work well for me after trying multiple different drugs, and I was abusing klonopin for about 3 years. I haven’t taken any sort of benzodiazepines for a few years now and do not wish to take them, or really any other medication, but I am open to trying again. The problem I had with antidepressants is that I felt little difference and ended up feeling worse and that I was unfixable. I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes in the past few months that I feel have helped more than any medication ever has in my day to day life like changing my diet and getting more active. But I still am getting these episodes of absolute dread and sadness, which almost seem worse in comparison to how good I feel day to day. I was wondering if anyone else has something similar to this issue, and what has worked for them in terms of keeping it under control. I can usually tell when an episode is coming on but I have a hard time stopping it even if I do the things I know will help me. Sometimes it can take days for me to recover from these episodes and it feels like I’m losing my mind. Please write back if you have any ideas or can relate. Thank you.",6.111641573579407,6.157808841046277,6.241479220148477,80.83879275653925,66.22334004024145,9.350142232706585,32.228474294040105,9.035553425615538,2.5623332963297014,2002,75,394,31,29,638,229,497,0.13699999999999998,0.726,0.13699999999999998,0.2444,4,2,2,0,0,1,39.0,0,2,5,6,19,27,0,3,21,0,44,10,1,4,2,91,81,46,0,8,23,0,14,4,0,3,7,0,2,0,26,29,1,3,19,0,0,4,11,15,1,1,14,15,50,12,62,61,12,62,1,10,1,1,14,19,2,18,42,276,76,8,0.0,0.0730929881656167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468478139401097,0.0,0.061773983750359016,0.1277852149269315,0.0,0.0,0.10266264180709372,0.0,0.0,0.1678062392837523,0.0,0.047192956060484084,0.0,0.0,0.0431353336404888,0.06320906339909542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487215686650904,0.05150887326195897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545601096446929,0.0,0.06852408215879469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052044071740726,0.05314078215544535,0.0646811680862705,0.0,0.06919098366586708,0.0,0.06825920926827088,0.0,0.2784962479214718,0.0,0.05313381612552834,0.06261441618387466,0.0,0.12890659082603326,0.07070249643467602,0.0,0.10797129840906723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715412314708411,0.0,0.05153437931565713,0.0,0.1639180431866014,0.0,0.0,0.08149180109023513,0.055802461885603664,0.10395357689722563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743099913957118,0.13221481517057262,0.059232419330873975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669199977798733,0.0,0.0,0.05174294655630345,0.04933941590597549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455258105115788,0.0,0.055262444769807406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404924251670285,0.0,0.06188046036780675,0.0,0.12150515479639165,0.0,0.0,0.0696409067470274,0.0,0.06438870751879057,0.061218162691412024,0.05483322590463704,0.0,0.0,0.03390340816487094,0.05028587658526859,0.0,0.06532118318309929,0.0670267559539091,0.0,0.13072117566106192,0.12055517394180555,0.12365989344579956,0.0,0.0,0.051804364752790766,0.06901573234692594,0.0,0.1048938749284312,0.05567795787958322,0.05837290964189541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429309381105486,0.0,0.0,0.06228967701427893,0.0,0.09848131256998094,0.06556708904976008,0.1360485369515663,0.0,0.047579408232507885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041802984064948534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889042842380152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771748931582196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590293424475369,0.0,0.062015850153674286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904084776263323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848175871481053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749225255764467,0.3050667141532273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853200135556303,0.05157590274079299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276694556544772,0.049584374068514674,0.05392009319789199,0.056796194542357785,0.0,0.0,0.04098433358056131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035972144646610915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25130222728481605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679432152925092,0.0,0.03638657229572692,0.0,0.04948428517769672,0.0,0.05546704178368896,0.05718758118085805,0.0,0.0,0.07094086875797659,0.0,0.06690056319707728,0.08982263269308477,0.0,0.18860323964413356,0.0,0.06744872365105525,0.0,0.11917970650003745
mentalhealth,misterkatlady,2018/02/23,"Mom dying Growing up my mom and I had an okay relationship. It was strained as I got older and started realizing things. Such as she didn't care much for her children's well being as long as she had a man to make her feel less lonely. Of course though I also realized that she was severally depressed and looking back I could tell this made it hard for her to care for herself let alone four kids. I'm aware that she tried to care atleast.  The men she dated were always rude, hateful, angry, and abusive. The one who stuck around,(we'll call him M) my stepdad emotionally abused us as well as physically sometimes. She seperated from him multiple times but he always seemed to come right back. 
I remember a time she seemed happy (as happy as my mom could be) she was working on losing weight, she had a nice job, was seeing a nice guy. During this time M would text her repeatedly. Telling her she'll regret this, she's a bitch etc. He even got a hold of the boyfriend's info. Called where she worked and said some rude things to him. He was basically doing the whole ""if I can't have you no one can."" thing.
 Eventually though M came back. She quickly gained back the weight, started drinking heavily, going out to bars, quit her job. 
 My teenage mind seemed to make things over dramatic at the time so I always told myself I hated her, and those men. That I would never respect or care about her/them for what she/they did. I see now that I was wrong for thinking this. My mom is very broken, and maybe if I had been a better daughter to her she wouldn't of gotten back with that asshole. If I would've shown her that someone cares, helped her understand that she doesn't need destructive men in her life. Maybe things would be different for her now.
Now she lives in colorada with M and my little sister. She doesn't leave the house because she has severe breathing issues from smoking most of her life. She has to have to breathing machine. Her medication is making her forget most things. Its hard to hold a conversation with her sometimes. M says she may pass any day now. They even have funeral arrangements being planned. I can't work up the nerve to call her and tell her I'm sorry.  I've been oppressing my feelings about this heavily since the day I found out. My anxiety has been going full force it seems. I've been dealing with a lot of out of body experiences, unable to think straight and do things like talk to people. Its very hard for me to go out in public because when I get anxious I start feeling like nothing around me is real. 
I'm seeing a therapist soon hopefully.
 I want my mom to know I love her but its so hard to talk to her. I'm scared of losing her.

TL;DR my mom is dying and I don't know how to deal with it.",3.0890570778048208,5.044429022140225,3.755417288215437,88.67770785899349,75.19926199261992,6.679186621653451,23.893538509853183,7.53845456269673,0.9954239930909954,2158,67,441,28,47,682,258,542,0.155,0.737,0.109,-0.9637,3,3,1,0,1,0,62.0,1,1,1,9,27,32,6,2,20,1,48,11,3,5,1,72,99,32,3,13,6,8,9,2,0,6,3,2,0,7,29,23,4,2,17,2,0,7,9,14,2,3,26,15,81,18,63,60,9,51,0,5,4,1,85,18,1,14,28,295,110,5,0.0,0.12949769732686411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05659876378279013,0.0,0.043701921581546566,0.136414340648394,0.0,0.0,0.03716245930301977,0.0,0.041805508936323565,0.06173659426602926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972964689986764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21010438488997954,0.0,0.06662572916130109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0483316439935381,0.0,0.06070151921340521,0.0,0.0,0.1674049078270148,0.0625026616807917,0.2785859807605906,0.0,0.0,0.04707434390071786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726383416010645,0.0,0.0,0.07048677449897414,0.11267921110560515,0.04706817309790625,0.0,0.11343182555693156,0.057095444792884004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353415655366312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614715541708974,0.0,0.0,0.0609468759086909,0.07218887103297049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345615150833218,0.0,0.0,0.0828948904482342,0.039040484700328025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059918623202038786,0.0,0.0,0.028551282495131638,0.0,0.0931730162565919,0.0,0.08741386701552115,0.0,0.0,0.05411003216389981,0.0,0.11634745323264885,0.19581520815999287,0.1079070136748075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03662934859692277,0.0,0.0,0.05427771474845521,0.0,0.0630563620788208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057038230114791276,0.10845925583390484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600661349202968,0.0,0.0,0.057864256347757076,0.0,0.055881200327908505,0.07719888352633662,0.05339642631291126,0.05477157198934071,0.04825511422648178,0.04836168919969209,0.04589048905598786,0.12227408733110555,0.0,0.0464597070383342,0.04932188106013057,0.05170918288199376,0.10943373209617743,0.0,0.10980236088886344,0.0,0.0,0.05505202977094521,0.0,0.0,0.055178820452012084,0.3840178979375584,0.0,0.0,0.04017250879568455,0.040520739961759686,0.04214784455332322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243615274415035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406168927635816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037885986654221514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058124789268149984,0.0,0.062201296487111125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058671414265839036,0.061905439961537766,0.04666902476985405,0.051982685812457484,0.0434582190938627,0.05471210095276528,0.0,0.1306419499568979,0.1989976543824996,0.0,0.12347318853205852,0.0,0.0452053238310438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630300496031449,0.0,0.10809637970855088,0.0611738719307673,0.11604023634876393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784785553872076,0.14329407137430872,0.0,0.0,0.06345044667438063,0.2541395468189905,0.07003236062073329,0.10738260714074746,0.0,0.12746256560451544,0.0,0.0,0.05221842908824829,0.0,0.037102350242724035,0.0,0.0,0.056890411593563076,0.06573471868978306,0.0,0.0,0.0901805137699552,0.03223275887447328,0.0,0.0,0.13309288773957853,0.0982700853910297,0.0,0.0,0.06101245067324525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935300902497699,0.0,0.0,0.15528125670895926,0.059748921337412116,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darkpersonalsecrets,2018/02/23,"I have my own TV channel and it's all in my head Alright, this is gonna be a long one, but I have waited for years to tell someone about this, so who better to tell than strangers on the internet :p

Also, a little disclaimer, this account is so new because it is a throwaway so my family won't stumble upon this, but I will still check on this post frequently.

Also some background info: I was diagnosed with Anxiett disorder in 3rd grade and I am talking to my therapist about the possibility of an ASD diagnoses. I also think I'm depressed but it's probably just high school.

Alright, I guess I will start from as far back as I remember this happening. The first memory I have of ""The Cooper Channel"" (Cooper is my name BTW) is me being somewhere between 7 and 10 and I had a show called house. The plot was that it was a reality show about what goes on in my house (I was very creative). I narrated (out loud) about what I was doing and what my family was doing, but I also had a bunch of extra imaginary characters, I can remember Simon, Janger (pronounced like danger with a j), and Sasha. I won't really dwell on them specifically, but they were the main characters of all of my early shows. Until I forgot about all of them except for Simon, he was still a regular cast member. After awhile, ""House"" turned into ""The Cooper Show"", which expanded to my life.

Let me quickly explain how this works, basically, I know that everything that is happening on ""The Cooper Show"" is reality, but to me it is also all a part of a reality show (minus the fairness and drama). Everyday when I walked into school, I imagined an intro sequence with upbeat music and the names of all of my classmates and teachers. When I would see people I don't usually see, they would be ""guest stars"". Also, between ""seasons"" of the show (Each quarter of school is a season, summer has its own show) I would imagine trailers showing previews of the excitement of next season, which was really just my expectation for the next quarter of school. In middle school, I even imagined a ""viewer discretion advised"" screen at the beginning of each episode for strong language (cuz of middle schoolers).

Also around middle school, I started ""making"" movies. 

Imagine a young child, maybe 9 or 10, running around the house pretending that they are being chased by aliens and they have to kill them.

That was me in middle school. 

Here are some of the ""Cooper Channel Original Movies"" I can remember.

The finale - There are a series of apocalyptic disasters that Cooper (yes, I always played myself) must survive.

The Finale 2 - Cooper and his friends find out the reason behind the disasters (I think it had to do with a volcano.

The Finale 3 - The moon crashes into Earth (which still somehow hasn't ended yet.

The Finale 4 - The group stops the disasters (somehow)

The Snowing - Invisible aliens attack Earth (and make it snow everywhere)

Like 5 snowing sequels

Another series where Cooper is turned into an aquatic animal

AND MULTIPLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE CROSSOVER MOVIES OF THE COOPERS FROM EACH DIMENSION

There are maybe 20 other movies I can remember, and countless more that I can't, but that was just to show you how many movies I make (you know, in my head)

There is a lot more to this that I haven't shared yet (like a reunion between me and two of the original actors, how my trampoline has become my movie studio, and how Simon can think for himself now... Yeah) but I didn't want to make this post a mile long.

Basically what this boils down to is why am I still living so much in this fictional world, even though I am almost SIXTEEN FRICKEN YEARS OLD!!! I feel like even if I tried to stop doing this, I wouldn't be able to. The Cooper Channel is a part of me now.

Has anyone had a similar experience or know any advice?

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mentalhealth,Inspector_Hawthorne,2018/02/23,"Apparently my first funeral will be my sisters My sister (16) killed herself today. I have never seen my father this pale before, I don’t think I have ever even seen him cry. My mother reacted as a mother «normally» would. How do we even inform our youngest sister? I apologize if this is not a fitting post, I just do not know anything anymore. Has anyone here had to deal with this before, and do you have any words of wisdom for someone who feels lost?

It’s really not sinking in. I can’t hear her name or look at pictures, it’s like an instinct turns me away from it like it’s dangerous. I am so numb and I just want to sleep, but I have a headache from crying too much. Do not worry about me, I will stay alive and «well», but if anyone has any words that might be useful, I would be very happy to recieve it. I haven’t even been to a funeral before

I apologize if the post is not as coherent as I intended, but I did my best, thank you so much",1.652913832199545,3.5014388265306167,3.5872789115646277,88.73787981859414,79.10204081632655,6.600453514739229,22.113378684807266,7.594959193182576,0.8847548752834475,734,22,156,11,18,248,115,196,0.095,0.735,0.17,0.947,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,2,0,3,12,10,2,0,6,0,27,2,1,4,2,36,39,16,3,6,14,6,1,2,0,5,1,1,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,6,5,30,6,16,25,3,11,0,1,3,0,20,4,0,5,6,120,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833590674765646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733028942154854,0.19365030069726946,0.0,0.11395337407255185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010210385726367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35349684654047875,0.0,0.14532128541997316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042172322588566,0.0,0.1427619551638521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743848914618123,0.12525883784577835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700172730317986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778702050737973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474095331237329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607172859275392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320240401591614,0.0,0.07610240412777204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530407507112144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628437715841072,0.0,0.15116214919928792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690041156117511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035905591896244,0.0,0.10680068905940752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652421209871043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871082384670513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857530646150207,0.0,0.11732967338404117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759624641274866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748945265215722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887293816566178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312583940977747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062136358170594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959819960672988,0.0,0.11425662584212985,0.08167632045155321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450592604339085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406283901755542,0.0,0.19673776192215725,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaynbmaybe,2018/02/23,"I give up I wake up from a terrible night’s sleep where I have been consistently waking up every 1-2 hours. I feel disorientated and things don’t feel real to me. I am unable to formulate my thoughts and may end up laying in bed as my morning routine gets slowly deprioritised by trying to comprehend reality.

This morning I forget my deodorant or teeth, maybe I forget my medication, to wear the right top or I wear the wrong underwear, my entire day feels off 

In class I struggle to focus, I am in the room for one minute, one slide or sentence, the next I am lost in thought or fidgeting or trying to filter out the person behind me with crisps, the coughing in the front row or someone tapping their pencil. I put my earphones in to try not to get stressed out and dissociate. Today my tutor is quieter than usual, I can’t hear them over the ambience I am using to limit the stimuli I can hear.

I have the same issue with sound later on in the labs but now I can’t concentrate on my work. I need to follow a pipeline to produce consistent work I very quickly lose focus and miss a step or finish an object and then panic because I need to do x-number more. I start to twitch involuntarily and begin to stress out and lose my grip on reality, I begin to feel like I can’t do this or that the universe is actively inhibiting me from completing my task. Something goes wrong later in the day, this only furthers my belief that someone has it out for me. I breakdown and defeated go home.

later I have work. I am struggling to keep my focus, it is a slow day I am left alone with my thoughts. They attack me. I remember every time I ever felt embarrassed, the fact I have over the years started so many activities and that I never saw through to the end. These failures outnumber the success easily 10-1 and I think about all the time I waste trying to manage my mental state. I feel like I am losing my mind being tormented and time stops. Its around about here where I feel trapped by convention of my job that I start to panic, I want out, I contemplate ways to end my own life, wishing for a knife or a piece of rope. My twitch is now a full body contortion as I blurt out “kill me”

A colleague asks me to cover a shift, though I initially decline they continue to pester me. I cave defeated. I deal with customers as best I can, I frequently don’t understand what they are saying or can’t filter out the extraneous details they are giving me, I ask for a lot of clarification. When giving them a solution I am unable to prioritise details. I say everything in my head to try to get them to understand. Some customers ask for things I can’t help them with and I stress out because they won’t take no for an answer or don’t understand much English or talk with an accent.

I want to help but I struggle to understand even the things my colleagues find easy. what if they think I am racist, I honestly just struggle, but what if I am, what if my colleagues think this too, remember that one thing you said that one time, your profiled him right?, you used a racial slur, not knowing thats what it meant is no excuse. did you know that saying used to know and use occasionally had connotations with chattel slavery, so what if you grew up hearing, congrats you are as apathetic to this world as the generation that birthed you, ergo you failed

My colleagues try and start a conversation with me, they are kind but I struggle, they ask a question and I answer and ask them the same thing back. That is about all I understand how to do. I don’t know what to ask. Maybe I just don’t care? Or maybe I just don’t know where to go with this

I get off work and hang out with my friends, I struggle around them though, ultimately this is more stressful. I am informed that I am droning on about something only I care about or that I am getting lost in their conversational points. I am informed that I am being too intense, that I am either distracted and not engaging or that I am just staring blankly at my friends and that I seem not to be paying any attention. I cannot recall what they just said. At other times I am told that I make constant non-sequiturs in conversation and completely derail things for others. There is a divide that forms between us, as with everyone else, all the time

I try to eat and sleep well, I have a gym member ship I use as often as possible, but yet I keep on being diagnosed with shit and I have just had enough.

I cant cope
Everyone else can
Im useless
Broken goods
Kill me

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mentalhealth,ssineanimaa,2018/02/23,"Depression and Sociopathy? I’ve been depressed for some time now and I slowly feel myself disconnecting from society. I’ve always been a good kid that cared too much about people. The world ruined me, now I just don’t care and pretend like I’m my old self around people. I’m not a danger to anyone, I’m just so numb and forlorn. Life is so full. I’m having great opportunities that could better my future tremendously but I feel discouraged to do them because I feel like life and a future isn’t really even that worth it. It’s like life is this lame game that I’ve played out and I just want to move on. There are days in which I’m really happy and eccentric and then my brain sort of tricks me back into depression. Now that I’ve summarized my thoughts I realize I’m actually so fucked up, thanks for reading. I don’t even know why I’m sharing this. Oh well, do you guys think I should get help?",2.329074252651882,4.391708863387978,3.7612407585985217,87.26947926711668,77.85245901639345,7.365991642558662,21.147219543555128,8.313332769828598,1.0893396978463517,714,19,149,14,17,235,109,183,0.157,0.609,0.234,0.9079,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,2,17,24,3,0,4,0,13,6,1,0,0,29,32,13,0,3,5,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,3,10,11,0,1,7,4,1,1,4,10,1,0,3,3,17,14,14,27,3,19,0,6,0,1,8,8,1,2,13,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.14154065160492918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068705946528813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141715592915906,0.0,0.0,0.12911866176231152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115288038161255,0.0,0.08841662063155077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282783899033992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191550623731596,0.0,0.0,0.2957611875681768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158047111365831,0.0,0.0,0.09354047571215744,0.0,0.3747749276747853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915985342085959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200136846025733,0.1036184599695376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408954334246986,0.07577877029472177,0.0,0.0,0.12165484850241455,0.0,0.15990997476230367,0.0,0.1436149741675296,0.0,0.1544005411034712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721899511325968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971161788254287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073436261268868,0.2125814588967285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415732608913754,0.106622997293027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219780630790064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20110854778931075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508184715518335,0.0,0.18583600277967066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131106083604054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353573583301212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293743931784104,0.0,0.1151476202602684,0.08457550446085439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554988138029712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041071323082085,0.0,0.13087838347048794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SendMeYourMHStories,2018/02/23,"What are your MH system stories? Male
28 
USA

As someone who has experienced the bad and good side of the mental health field, I think that there is the possibility of some very good experiences, as well as some very bad experiences in terms of mental health treatment. I'm looking to start a blog that lists anonymous true stories of those who have been processed in the mental health system and what your experiences were. These would include:

* Loss of human rights
* Loss of patient rights
* Unfair treatment 
* Therapist deception
* Medication issues
* Reinforced stigma
* Psych ward stories
* Inability to communicate with caregivers
* Lack of due dilligence
* Incorrect diagnoses
* ""Legal guardian"" experiences
* Caregiver experiences (unethical behavior, frustrating policies, disillusionment)
* Life before MH treatment
* Life after MH treatment
* Positive outcomes
* Good experiences

As many experiences may be hard to communicate to others outside of the system I don't know how other's experiences have shaped up in comparison to mine. I think it would be noteworthy to get these stories out there as there is a lot that still needs to be worked on in terms of the MH system. Thank you!",5.444407846039977,9.153668124352333,5.5624629903774965,67.45947538860105,82.78238341968913,8.560251665433013,31.24518874907476,8.841846274778883,4.0237033308660255,960,47,131,28,28,302,115,193,0.126,0.775,0.098,-0.7177,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,3,6,12,1,0,8,0,15,7,0,1,1,17,24,8,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,13,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,2,3,7,6,30,16,6,21,0,3,1,0,7,11,0,4,6,85,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551358420575692,0.0,0.0,0.07905136482140436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942919109318045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7269950343338705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048536604329318715,0.0,0.0,0.23376124567105255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832204760131646,0.0,0.0,0.2962462187485957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696384066804392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105560888052987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123654480396346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801290573091449,0.0,0.0,0.0789805648191179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418638481974886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935873401474648,0.28086514063067025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888444058477926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473119855178696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867280148104165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871417444734664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575535370901983,0.0,0.07419034834140864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553017090068543,0.0,0.10786447947751812,0.0,0.11905360042149728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330505436361175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352858147170912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676325692847212,0.0,0.0,0.13198750210130222,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thiccnietzsche,2018/02/23,"How do I bring up self harm to my therapist? Apologies if this is the wrong forum. I've had three different psychologist within 3 years but I never feel comfortable enough to bring it up. I feel very awkward(?) and uneasy, as if I'm looking for a segway that never comes. I always tell myself that I'll bring it up ""next time"" but I never manage to do it. Stupid question, I know. ",1.6022368421052633,3.9078513289473698,3.4860526315789464,86.98986842105263,81.76315789473685,5.905263157894738,20.026315789473685,7.1686216300943375,0.6015578947368425,295,8,58,4,8,99,53,76,0.217,0.7829999999999999,0.0,-0.9486,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,3,14,13,7,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,4,0,1,1,3,8,1,9,12,1,14,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,3,6,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899236476975254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196618575380638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384743808554605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358449575926829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308217727635331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254411309646511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916738893002712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5281252035450642,0.0,0.2427482065021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556940724337112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23811623829668715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950199223543785,0.0,0.0,0.26501774424500496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309536568569547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883315058191624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24955733464216426,0.0,0.14698657136669402
mentalhealth,united_kakotopia,2018/02/23,"Birthday Blues My birthday is coming up, and for some reason it makes my normally shitty depressed state worse. 

Idk what exactly it is, just knowing another year of shit has gone by or the fact that I had hopes my life would be so different. I work a nice job, and most people would consider me successful. But to me it marks another year of being horribly, desperately fucked up in my head. The last thing I want to do is celebrate, plus social anxiety makes a party my own idea of hell :p . Anyone else get this? Any birthday suggestions? ",3.907843137254904,6.145578411764706,5.026078431372549,79.21401960784314,73.70588235294117,9.239215686274509,28.0,9.725611199111238,2.9895411764705893,426,17,77,12,9,140,78,102,0.243,0.607,0.15,-0.9231,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,3,0,4,0,10,4,2,3,2,21,19,6,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,10,3,11,13,3,9,1,1,1,1,2,3,3,4,3,51,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508234158878626,0.3857444923969872,0.1407100349960254,0.0,0.0,0.12861186949890235,0.18846349678866625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844401243324402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842324258970744,0.0,0.0,0.1921732862326172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365437815997202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004526198284742,0.09609862578615172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887707286800091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826892994746797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076406151157435,0.0,0.0,0.1825274476059724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108605494534878,0.14993185519149232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991897334858987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24555654130739954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021758431907087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751760817203125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911616840897405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888069877821373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874989200693007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219846972540775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848983171461514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390712136659336,0.0,0.18744582995731632,0.26132478256663394,0.0,0.0,0.23689666244461846
mentalhealth,magna10,2018/02/23,"I Have A Horrible Anger Issue Ever since I was young I had anger issues. Most of the time, the anger is directed at video games. I always used to scream and throw a fit when I was a kid when I thought something was unfair or too hard. I wish I could say that I was able to grow out of it, but I haven't. Whenever I get frustrated with a game, I get an uncontrollable urge to spasm and scream. I have a lot of pent up anger, because being 17 and living with parents and a younger sibling, I have zero opportunities to let my anger out. It's gotten to the point where my anger is my whole life. I hate my family more than anything, I hate the people at my school simply for existing, and sometimes I even hate my friends over trivial things. It's taken a serious toll on my mental health. Everyday I feel like I'm closer to losing my mind. I feel like I haven't been happy in a long time, and I'm sure that this problem is just the tip of the iceberg. Please help.",3.9012576923076954,4.296064795,5.041999999999998,86.3156153846154,71.05,8.153846153846155,25.884615384615394,8.139509932561175,1.3289076923076921,749,21,165,10,13,248,116,200,0.281,0.5870000000000001,0.133,-0.9875,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,7,22,10,1,15,0,17,2,0,1,2,25,31,10,0,3,3,1,3,2,1,0,2,3,0,1,7,10,0,0,3,3,0,2,2,16,0,1,9,6,28,6,22,19,4,22,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,3,10,109,35,1,0.14104704173138116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736243776344092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606969735810715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859809674881399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261458572026566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931602408172451,0.12758512434156774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296659807909544,0.0,0.1426352445776041,0.20152806959086045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897259455935028,0.0,0.14738251560536747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014719868213902,0.126350444928916,0.4177642579514866,0.0,0.14992640970343601,0.0,0.0,0.09454085892850757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29443293279134386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423015639978642,0.09962569683145853,0.13781692005736318,0.0,0.1245471219504049,0.1248221934407134,0.0,0.1577955612614035,0.0,0.1199131509900764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214224344696938,0.0,0.14241730415684686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566160480506814,0.0,0.0,0.09778425925775214,0.0,0.0,0.1548272961893618,0.13333504486902387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496297011786415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216626879851772,0.0,0.14274713637433076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667557046011053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085849036598054,0.13949913083585438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329351676086529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937053871682536,0.0,0.0,0.11197559602726886,0.1644913286076631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181935766192767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574739850128372,0.16219713710732048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kummerspect,2018/02/23,"I made my first appointment with a therapist today I've put it off for a long time--years. But today was the day I did research on in-network therapists and made some calls. 

I thought it would feel kind of freeing, just having an appointment set, but I'm so overwhelmed. The whole time I was making the appointment I wanted to hang up. The appointment-setter kept asking me questions about my ""problem"" and probing for information, and I just wasn't mentally prepared for it. And then the office emailed me 12 pages of questionnaires and forms to fill out that I have to bring to the appointment. I filled them out immediately, because I feel like if I put it off then I'll just not do them, but I cried a few times. It was really hard putting it all down on paper, knowing that someone is going to read it and start making assessments about me.

On top of that, it's going to be $70 per visit because my insurance is terrible. I don't know what to do. I thought this was the direction I needed to go and it already feels wrong.",5.845131362889987,5.9406334433497525,6.411440886699506,79.22615968801315,66.78325123152709,9.91937602627258,32.680213464696216,9.725611199111238,2.945781937602628,811,32,160,16,12,265,116,203,0.08199999999999999,0.87,0.048,-0.8157,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,2,6,7,0,1,11,0,15,0,0,4,1,38,36,14,0,5,8,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,1,9,1,1,11,3,4,0,1,11,4,22,4,26,23,6,32,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,3,11,112,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147592425394573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503478481570965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630610697453299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656997926834305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691408757530022,0.08625533256735103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287852280290208,0.0955484206889445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113764578801575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280334023124438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198104610520309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392762443053029,0.1470069947280956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534171186390783,0.0,0.0,0.11836131288711532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25310806448306183,0.1785534572149571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347848654742171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917122541414068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797719615368114,0.0,0.403356074657676,0.1498265236816953,0.0,0.13378254579722515,0.0,0.08568133794868188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332285014056805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466635642976604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105796466555765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21235932796517995,0.2339657204685672,0.0,0.2535518065467817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888706373764885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932302580100215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950095711863111,0.14623064020539012,0.0,0.08612826572846156
mentalhealth,bronwynasw,2018/02/24,"What is we treated mental illness like the common cold? Can you imagine running into someone at school and asking them how they are doing, but instead of saying something like ""Oh I'm okay but I just came down with a terrible cold, could barely get myself out of the house this morning"" they said "" Oh I'm okay but I just came down with a terrible bout of depression, could barely get myself out of the house this morning""? And in an ideal world your response either way would be ""Jeez I'm sorry to hear that, you should really get home and get some rest so you can feel better"". Why is that not an everyday thing?",3.527749999999997,5.399989608333335,4.233333333333333,86.08500000000002,73.75,6.466666666666668,23.666666666666664,7.1686216300943375,0.9710666666666667,483,14,91,5,10,154,78,120,0.128,0.7659999999999999,0.106,-0.598,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,4,3,2,5,10,0,0,7,2,11,1,0,1,0,27,24,8,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,2,1,3,1,0,6,11,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,6,12,7,14,16,3,14,0,1,0,0,12,8,1,1,4,65,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448872512592902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561274493676966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40247796045599576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809621946478121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515447646660535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896518842194556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36770472290382616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830750528212088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764913662837929,0.0,0.0,0.4060434439235728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191975653625613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731538244178474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271754549772142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736795523743606,0.13992184425101842,0.0,0.1780699562978772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908116309179853,0.1354542692793924,0.0,0.19696069371920896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689281215540467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966026356662198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876676126093228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498924409100895,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asdleves,2018/02/24,"What the heck is this ? So, I'm not sure what's going on with me, I'm pretty suicidal and depressed, but that's not my concern with this post. My concern/question is, how come I feel more depressed when I see a good looking woman ? 

(I'm a guy. Also, when I see any good looking woman, I don't feel desire, but selfhatred and overwhelming sadness.)",3.6025714285714305,4.597248400000002,5.041428571428573,83.85357142857143,72.14285714285714,7.314285714285713,29.714285714285715,7.554174236665415,1.857371428571429,268,11,53,3,5,90,44,70,0.195,0.6709999999999999,0.134,-0.5283,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,14,14,9,1,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,0,6,7,3,3,14,1,6,0,4,4,0,3,1,1,0,2,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180088150800916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459658559149822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958302268606747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916091123912585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298962854204316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920054675857431,0.38135806631225344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250988329533216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818107333172781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772548298288666,0.2312829044023365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623154437236187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24866918436210544,0.0,0.2142619191033404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anogirl,2018/02/24,Has anyone tried an online therapist? Do they work? Thinking of signing up for BetterHealth...,4.620000000000001,7.6809949999999985,4.453333333333337,72.04000000000002,99.0,7.333333333333335,31.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,4.0376666666666665,75,4,9,2,3,23,15,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885449605887048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6451882794179178,0.0,0.35605784214841474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772708116352713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045422665625273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrianFromDublin,2018/02/24,Addicted to escorts I have a sex addiction. I can't stop going to escorts and this has lead to a lot of shame and self hatred. I have started self harming and I feel like if I keep doing this it will end in my suicide.,1.48117021276596,2.9486757872340448,3.80526595744681,88.70875000000002,78.36170212765958,6.402127659574468,26.643617021276608,7.1686216300943375,1.2704510638297868,170,7,37,2,4,59,34,47,0.292,0.625,0.083,-0.9187,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,1,0,9,10,4,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,5,9,1,6,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,4,27,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5605568369603809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22771548226038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299981663832484,0.1836732541045544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461166207501943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285234908499826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256067317520274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21857837170764974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5364255545573282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819776571324176,0.0,0.0,0.21494823883904446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28122714504911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gittir,2018/02/24,"Just read No More Mr Nice Guy...I could have been so much more If you haven't read it, Glover basically posits that ""Nice Guys"" (different from a genuinely kind and agreeable man) are in fact men with toxic shame, and who, due to early experiences, get it into their heads that ""If I can hide my flaws and be what others want me to be, only then will I be loved and have my needs met."" I won't go into deep details here, but I've basically felt from my earliest years that if I put one toe out of line, I'll be abandoned - fire and brimstone. The result? I had to hide who and what I was from the beginning.

My parents are extremely academic, and really are pretty pessimistic about life. I know it's because they've experienced a lot of disappointments in their lives, and they just want to spare me the same fate, but basically they won't hear of me doing anything except something that's lucrative (the NiceGuyness means I'm not really cut out for the cutthroat world of business, so basically it's either the lottery or a STEM field). And, Nice Guy that I am, I feel like the absolute nadir of sons for not being able to bear it anymore.

To sum up? All of this, combined with wanking since I was 13, has made me a stranger to myself. Thus, nothing ever seemed worth working on.

I could have been a musician, I could have been a magician, I could have been an actor, I could have been an artist, I could have been a dancer, I could have been a chef, I could have been a woodworker, I could have been anything I wanted to be.

Now...well, childhood is when you're supposed to build the skills to do those things, because as an adult, not only is your time spoken for because of your job and obligations, but your own brain starts turning on you. Adults don't have 10,000 hours to learn when they have work, doing what they have to do to get by even if they're completely miserable.

All my life, I've been on a path I've never wanted to be on. My natural strengths are in maths and science but I absolutely hate them. It's lucrative, but the material is dry as the fucking Sahara. And yet, I've done it, because to do otherwise would be, to that stunted part of my mind, extremely dangerous. And yet, if I don't step off it, I'll either completely go round the bend or hang myself.

Yes, I'm aware I'm having a midlife crisis about twenty-five years early (I'll be 23 in April). And yet, I feel the rope tightening on my neck.",7.045688705234162,5.692633334710744,7.220041322314053,79.21748622589533,64.82644628099173,10.711294765840222,32.76997245179064,9.725611199111238,2.735399724517906,1890,61,396,32,24,613,233,484,0.093,0.828,0.079,-0.8863,3,0,1,0,0,1,77.0,0,5,7,4,14,15,4,2,26,1,68,8,4,3,5,74,95,33,0,20,20,2,5,1,0,4,2,1,0,7,23,20,0,1,7,4,1,5,10,8,0,1,17,7,48,7,53,56,11,42,0,3,1,2,26,18,1,9,20,274,71,8,0.08738024442016504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866577226927093,0.0,0.0,0.14381299175691226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21306474385770466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754525115477496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832330475916456,0.0,0.0,0.6278941347687118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912937574820831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942032781470274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771382733680677,0.07904043369144237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547464599724787,0.0,0.0,0.08836415412283047,0.062424464073164286,0.08389873769554045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078162793994252,0.0913051424458946,0.0,0.09932041316500533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595605396352634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626990097703464,0.08967733997621488,0.0,0.09848388606425286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860519393440086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671140959411347,0.0,0.0,0.09099307812931344,0.048021897142511684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343850154959025,0.04268957367706154,0.0,0.07715835670329528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428755905891361,0.07886408214171413,0.08268130003628207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518270256999097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822913755671866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642345337486042,0.0647913440464956,0.06739303131802901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384370117937255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921111503760392,0.1329132267723021,0.0,0.0,0.0970254206738466,0.0946242895643815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889712234022734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784128022771899,0.0,0.0,0.1748077815105453,0.0,0.11195604414918403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954769274765136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228184114689133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726958116713815,0.0,0.0,0.06184818674424265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058051551693242436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050952123214709766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504461406030608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615652841232465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722771726313686,0.0,0.0,0.06207241857439581,0.0,0.0,0.1125400250654774
mentalhealth,TheRyGuyz17,2018/02/24,"Is there something wrong with me? 16 year old boy trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.To everyone around me I set an image of a fun, funny, nice person. But all of that is fake. In reality I want nothing to do with anyone and I want to be left alone. When I’m at home I lay down in the dark because it’s very relaxing and I feel isolated from everybody. On my sports teams I have an impression that I love interacting with everybody but I honestly hate it unless it’s someone that I have known for years. I’m very bad in social situations and I don’t ever try to make new friends. I worry that I will come off weird because of the fact that  I don’t know how to start or maintain a conversation without sounding and being awkward. I pretend to be happy in front of everyone like the people around me and family. I find joy in being alone where no one can judge me. Even at practice I avoid going into drills (which often gets me yelled at) because I’m not the best and not trying to embarrass myself. You’d think that because I play sports I’d have some friends but they’re all a blur to me once the seasons end. Am I a misanthrope or something or....",1.7527365728900293,3.821704277310928,3.6170807453416174,87.56052795031056,79.75630252100841,6.660138838143954,23.37303617099013,7.7425588080867325,1.167299378881988,910,31,189,15,23,306,138,238,0.16,0.664,0.17600000000000002,0.6413,0,3,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,9,22,1,3,11,0,16,1,0,2,4,43,31,15,0,2,10,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,1,2,11,15,0,1,6,6,0,3,6,9,0,1,0,3,27,13,35,25,4,30,0,0,0,1,10,17,0,6,10,126,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631875157490932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884190012389208,0.0,0.0,0.2262170960587891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608811356307196,0.30981348303346856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333952055504258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944920700295953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253566540647293,0.0,0.0,0.08392060339344473,0.1149312252184522,0.0,0.2428187067971815,0.0,0.0,0.11977896411690828,0.0,0.06424433688190027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612870005684205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632937417390245,0.0,0.06638255510475598,0.0,0.0722099831765779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525559187807548,0.0,0.1254434591980058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744952259872802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982774787710856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804887676807598,0.0,0.0,0.062074115457305165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467479570848055,0.0,0.08481219425002821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271339748279116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191556717683318,0.0,0.13332598595573827,0.13531261151468066,0.08609778160363674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880860114497744,0.11094213510186368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428185031083448,0.0,0.12951961895147324,0.1076558217242246,0.1956308947810941,0.0,0.0,0.08993229854740849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141362894669744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258792102588409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967229495662815,0.14988418769124506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247936727931677,0.0,0.0,0.12903355532704813,0.0,0.0,0.2778359300537055,0.0,0.1636423582565821
mentalhealth,d7008_Pull,2018/02/24,"A LETTER FROM THE ONES WHO SUFFER Yeah I know what it’s like. To feel, like noone understands how much pain you’re in. The constant pain of suffocating. 

One way to describe is that it’s like drowning. You’re in the ocean and you go under water and you loose your breath. But instead of surfacing, you’re sinking deeper and deeper, something tied to your leg dragging you down as you try desperately to swim upwards. 

That sickening feeling like you’re never going to make it. Never going to see the surface. Trying to breathe when there’s no air and when every breath makes you choke and your entire body is kicking, screaming for help, but nobody is coming for you,  because nobody sees you. And nobody cares. 

Sometimes, for the really lucky ones, the weight gets lighter. And you can swim to shore to get a few breaths. Most people sit comfortably on sandy beaches smiling and laughing, whilst your idea of happiness is lasting just a little longer above water. 

Now in the physical world, when you drown like this, you die within minutes. But in your mind, you can suffer like this for years without dying. Until of course, the eventual goodbye that comes to all minds gone insane from perpetual drowning. 

Suicide. A beautiful thing. We all die eventually. Why not just do it sooner? Why not end the pain when there’s no hope. 


Just shut up and feel better they say. Exercise they say. And you do. You exercise, you watch entertainment, you spend time with family, you eat the best foods on earth. You study. But for your own reasons, you can’t seem to be happy. Ever. And the first few days are ok. And the first few weeks are hell. And the first few months are unbearable. And the years that follow… Well. They kinda make you wanna die. You’ve taken all the pills. You’ve done the therapy. And nothing works. And you ask yourself, do people really expect me to continue living? And when people say yes and call you a coward for wanting to take your own life because you’ve been suffering for years, it makes you boil with unspeakable anger. Ironically this anger quickly turns to sadness at how cruel the world is, which only makes you more suicidal. So, by the sheer arrogance and ignorance of some people, they have only accelarated your death, not helped it in any way. 

And they think, good riddance. We didn’t need weak people like you. You don’t deserve to live if you just complain about every single thing in life. You’re so lucky. You should be grateful. And on and on it goes, numbing your brain until english words no longer make any sense. 

And you know, healthy people, they see this and they think what the fuck is wrong with those cruel idiots? But for someone who is in pain, they won’t fight. They will crawl into a corner and think yes you’re right, I’m weak, and I should die. 

And sometimes, I’m grateful for those cruel people. They make it easier to attempt suicide. To end life and enter the peaceful bliss of death. 

What I hate, are the people who tell you not to. The people who cry. The people who somehow love you. Not every sufferer is heartless. Of course they don’t want to purposefully cause another person distress or harm. 

But think of it this way. In order to keep these sitting comfortably on the shore, you have to stay under water. You have to drown for them. And again, human beings are tough. Idiots think you can endure such pain indefinitely. Yes. Yes you can. For the first few weeks. For the first few months. But then a year passes. And then two. And then three. And then a decade. And then finally these very people you have tried to keep happy will leave you alone, totally forgetting about you as if you never existed. And in a state of overwhelming shock, the only reaction you could have is that emoji with the smile and the sweat on the forehead. 

You have suffered. For absolutely nothing. 

“Wow.” You say. A gross understatement and reflection of your current state of mind. 

At that point. You’d rather someone shot you with a thousand bullets. Or break your bones in a thousand places, then go through the hell you are going through now. 

And even as I write these words, they will always fail in making people understand the pain. No matter what I say or do. A little bit like trying to explain colours to the blind. 

Nobody gets it. Nobody understands. I want to die. I want to die. Kill me please. Let me die. Let me die. Just please let me die. I wish to suffer no more. I wish to suffer no more. If you have a knife, stab me. If you have a gun, shoot me. If you have a rope, strangle me. If you have a club, beat me to death. But do it quick. So the pain goes away. Because dead people don’t suffer. 

But wait. Ah, but my religion tells me I will suffer, I will go to hell. So I should just suffer now for my entire life. Oh well, I guess I will. But everyday I will think, “please let me die”. Everyday whilst children pray for toys and gifts, I will be praying for a truck to hit me or lightning to strike. At least I’ll go to heaven one day. That will be my bliss.

Or… Well I’m not sure. I don’t know if there’s a heaven. I tell people I believe, but deep down there’s doubt. My parents were religious. But me…? Do I seriously believe in a heaven. So much so I’m willing to suffer for decades? It makes me think. What if my religion told me to walk on glass barefoot everyday or else I’d go to hell. Is it possible for a human to believe that so much he will actually follow it whole heartedly for decades of his life? 

Maybe. But am I that kind of person? I guess we’ll see when my friends and family find me hanging tied to a rope. 

Then they’ll see whether I was a true believer or not.

But fuck it. God let his own creation suffer. In no world or universe would I ever do that to my own child. So God can go fuck himself in the ass. And I hope he exists. And I hope he puts me in hell. Because if I was ever put in heaven, and if I was able to maintain who I am and my identity, then all the dumb shit God can conjure up for me will never relieve me of the anger I have for him, and the sadness I already harbor. For the times I was abused and mistreated, I will be looking at the person who caused all that pain everyday of my life whilst he bribes the shit out of me with mansions and giant chocolate cakes or unicorns or whatever the fuck he thinks I want. No God, I don’t want your dumb materialistic shit. I’d like it very much if you released all the poor souls in hell who’ve done bad things cus they were sick in their heads either because you designed their genes to be so or because they were so fucked and traumatised by the society you helped create that they were driven to do insane things. And what do you do? You punish them. Most parents punish their children so that they will behave. So that they will be better. You punish yours for no such reason. You punish them for the sake of it. And then you leave them in your torture chamber for eternity. Eternity is a long fucking time god. A long fucking time. What sort of moral education are you trying to give those people hmm? I wonder if you even are aware of the pain they’re in. Oh nope because I remember, you’re utterly not made of us. You are an entirely separate being. They made that clear in the teachings. We were made in your image but we are strictly not a part of you. Pathetic. You don’t even know the pain you’re inflicting on people. 

Oh what’s that? Torturing the people so that others can learn to behave better? Right. Because people need to behave better in heaven where they can do whatever they want which was what you promised. What’s that? It was to make people behave better on earth? Right, because your holy teachings touched the ears of every single human being. There TOTALLY weren’t billions of humans in history unaware of your very existence. 

So God, if by some miracle countering logic, you exist. Then put me in fucking hell please because it will not matter whether I’m in heaven or hell. Because I’d probably go so insane in heaven from trauma that such an evil monstrous being exists that I will lost my identity and no longer be aware of space or time. And if I was in hell the same thing would occur. If you are even crueler than the teachings show, then by some evil magic you will try and make us aware of our suffering, forever, regardless if we are in hell and heaven. Thereby manipulating that which makes us who we are, our very consciousness. 

Well, at least if I’m in hell, I get to spit in your face, and attain some relief knowing I’m with my fellow sufferers instead of abandoing them up there in heaven rolling in sex and cakes, like a selfish asshole who ironically seriously does not deserve to be up in heaven if he can be content everyday knowing there are people suffering in torture chambers for as long as time exists. 

So yeah, fuck you God. If you were a person I would have stabbed you, mutilated you, and hung and quarter you like in the medieval ages. I would never do that even the people who’ve abused me. Fucking hitler doesn’t deserve that. But you? I wouldn’t even hesitate. Call it a desperate attempt at saving humanity from a supernatural all powerful all knowing ominpresent evil entity if you will. No wonder the devil exists. Like father like son. 

So yeah, religion may or may not save you from killing yourself. Depending on how deeply you question your faith. And if it does save you. And if you’ve never given a damn about the flaws in your religion, then hey, at least you’re alive. Which is obviously, to the sufferer, a bad thing. 

But if you do have doubts, then in simple terms: you’re fucked. 

And it’s not a question of whether or not you will kill yourself. But a question of how long will fear and hope keep you alive? 

Some make it to a few decades and suddenly a miracle occurs and their life changes and they become happy. The 1%. And most will never find happiness. Because even normal healthy people will tell you: life is not easy. The universe will not give you what you want. Even if you put in the effort and work. 

It boils down to luck. And your survival depends on your odds at making life not suck. 

But ask yourself. If you were a gambler. And you knew your odds were 1 to a million. Would you keep going? 

To live. To gamble. It’s pretty stupid. Yet we don’t have a choice. Because fear keeps us gambling much like addiciton keeps gamblers gambling. And the sad part is we know our odds. It’s unquestionable. Because we’ve been playing the game for a very long time. 

So yes, yes I do want to quit the fucking game. Yes I do want to die. So stop telling me to live. Just stop. 

Don’t tell me to die but don’t tell me to live. 

And if you do think after reading all that, if you still think I should stay alive. 

Then go fuck yourself. 

Thank you. 

Sincerely, the suicidal, the manic, the depressed, the anxious, and the broken. 
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mentalhealth,thereisamosquitoonme,2018/02/24,"Horrible nightmares My boyfriend had quite the affair in 2015 and I've been having really awful nightmares about it ever since. They all start the same, I'm at the same house, I start to scream and shout while I watch him kiss another girl or fall in love with her, and then I run out into the wilderness. I also have recurring dreams about people I love dying. They're all extremely vivid and I always feel low the morning afterward. What can I do to stop this? It comes in waves, sometimes I don't dream at all, other times I go through periods where I'm up 5 times a night crying because it was just so traumatising. Thank you in advance.

tldr: I have really bad nightmares, how can I stop them? ",4.3975182481751816,5.730619007299277,4.912124087591241,84.24628832116791,70.60583941605839,8.107737226277372,26.10875912408759,8.548686976883017,1.7184137226277376,552,17,108,9,10,176,94,137,0.192,0.696,0.112,-0.8764,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,2,2,8,7,0,0,6,1,10,3,0,1,4,20,20,10,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,6,8,0,2,1,2,0,5,1,3,0,0,3,5,17,4,15,17,5,29,0,1,2,3,9,11,0,1,13,72,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893653333663055,0.16537199902908456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840176119615827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659440121377694,0.12115328160299745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171201465700211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831236421123196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062662289394244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17977648948692715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049158818320213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295152606892282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293253758859653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587507601335708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650898745057928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778495688396505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113900756048864,0.0,0.0,0.254642638634242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440415428093422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656416966767587,0.0,0.281345872605344,0.0,0.0,0.3323199164892416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829779569936119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317799489614296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rawrImfabulous,2018/02/24,Am I a horrible person? I've been struggling with anxiety and depression the last few years. I was in an online relationship with someone I dearly loved and my struggles really took a toll on them. I ended up being emotionally manipulative with them and it took them until we broke up to call me out on it. I would use suicidal thoughts as a way to get them to pay attention to me or do things my way. At the time I wasn't even aware what I was doing was abusive. I didn't think about what it did to them. We are still friends but they have pushed me away a bit. I have so many regrets and I feel horrible for what I did. Am I just a terrible person?,1.9534444444444432,3.7384315481481485,4.0063888888888926,86.37625000000004,77.96296296296295,7.7592592592592595,23.842592592592588,8.59863814320734,1.5272592592592589,509,17,111,11,12,174,83,135,0.225,0.728,0.047,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,6,0,6,9,0,2,8,0,17,1,0,2,0,21,25,9,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,4,0,1,3,2,6,0,0,11,1,25,3,20,12,2,19,0,3,0,1,14,8,0,1,6,88,32,1,0.0,0.20187103689075445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033932820318367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007650654101144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600953978867413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739758210440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467470249118744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191653236094893,0.15090506022367695,0.0,0.0,0.11253360135520793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614864888545565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163425091226874,0.0,0.08901589944576419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888147552850882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537735338394396,0.0,0.0,0.17273737782291412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29753642133664554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914903258855166,0.0,0.0,0.18292308632788173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436141824055992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360647428690393,0.0,0.0,0.3562338642290865,0.0,0.1863667715471472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319211491857435,0.10917186595781933,0.0,0.13526174872781002,0.09934925799642573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785942681532408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471525933404114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704775479637656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103222276769462,0.0,0.0,0.10971837167647676
mentalhealth,Harlehaes,2018/02/24,"I was cruel...Or am i? Hello everyone. My problem consists in following... i was cruel to animals when i was 6-9 years old. To one particular animal, actually, to lizard. 
I clearly remember that i threw a lizard that i had caught towards a neighbor's lawn... Did i do it for fun? I hope not... Because i didn't understand that lizards were living beings that feel? I really want to believe it.

But my most crippling, most devastating flashback is that i...guillotined a lizard. But i'm not sure. I'm quite sure i wasn't alone, someone should've ""helped"" me, but still... I remember its severed head with closed eyes, but i do not remember blood. I cannot imagine if i really did it, it just smashes me. I am crying, nevertheless i feel that i...pretend. I really, really want to be sure i'm crying because i repent. As i wrote, i cannot imagine if i was able to do that, because now when i think of it, i shiver. This is something... unbelievable to me. I cannot live with it, it plagues me.
 
The only thing i want to know is am i still so cruel? I try imagining situations when an animal is in trouble, i try to predict my reaction, would i be outraged, would i feel compassion? I have a cat, i love him (i hope), and it loves me (i hope). The same is with my parents, sometimes i think i don't love them, so i try imagining situations when they need my help. Would i respond? Of course, i would... that's what my brain is telling me. But does it tell what i hope to hear? I'm really scared. I think that i felt a lot and now i'm just dead on emotions. I fear i will torture animals again or even people. When i think of that, i do not want to exist.

I have anxiety disorder, i had panic attacks, i've been in hospital for 1 month because of that. I have obsessive thoughts, suicidal, blasphemous and cruel in particular that ruin my happiness, i had rituals and i still have to some extent (i used to listen to the same song before going to sleep for two years, i used to collect rubbish and some others). I am a very cowardly and shy bastard, i hate myself but i don't want to die. Because i fear for my life, i hold it dear, i do not know why. I read that all serial killers love their own life and do not want to die. This makes me fucking crushed.",1.2613243707093815,3.3542163662280733,3.647139588100689,86.57062929061787,81.60964912280701,7.210831426392068,25.044622425629285,8.252601668568683,1.7120003432494273,1717,69,363,37,46,594,195,456,0.239,0.622,0.139,-0.9958,1,1,1,0,0,2,100.0,0,0,3,1,16,31,9,5,10,0,46,12,5,3,5,80,90,24,4,18,17,1,4,0,1,5,2,3,2,0,30,11,0,1,19,2,0,4,13,17,0,2,18,8,82,14,36,64,10,26,1,1,1,5,19,7,2,12,15,253,112,1,0.07377910159424185,0.0,0.07199776039262586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641289863879004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05644081077731355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839343791603803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248752776949348,0.0,0.06278058136909953,0.08312378250553143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823618775930449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208575740312064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314211847380108,0.0,0.0845572423486011,0.0,0.06456458899371295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299155889793389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048730400775717546,0.0,0.0,0.07049909330723657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660440022094649,0.11191479174003734,0.0,0.07083950763863331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820759056327218,0.0,0.0,0.041930363676071086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853922556388998,0.0,0.0728415882897321,0.07571864350701739,0.0,0.08315440959848629,0.0,0.09890515320381038,0.0,0.0,0.29311718053318997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810941294919969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422472272653087,0.0,0.0,0.13029659680703426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272435380978393,0.2663540788689944,0.0,0.04924812321826938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888977499883645,0.0,0.0,0.05470626898052853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741875614240777,0.0,0.04999462865841535,0.056112331376067685,0.0,0.08656387912536294,0.08192296115239295,0.0,0.0,0.051149139390211394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059663614037444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784731561946003,0.07379906726693837,0.0,0.2363239085156954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507320191899161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386575156417324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334938441515277,0.0,0.0,0.16586160283021362,0.07383238397905784,0.0,0.06251279335856698,0.05679875692802519,0.07296941800344807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676025751253688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070236231135053,0.0,0.2086077903383121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289723734778108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049015556759998205,0.18909867692815108,0.0,0.0585723654602079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027350098520462,0.0,0.07207146173481971,0.07680664671937258,0.0,0.12744291060285304,0.0,0.060875485587839936,0.2611009540253534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657416358364596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964222778684707,0.0,0.0,0.0950226449676564
mentalhealth,chekara1307,2018/02/24,"Trying to change my perceptions and responses, but need help For a long time I felt like I am struggling in life, in having my slice of normalicy. Sometimes I feel like my best efforts are not good enough, or are just enough to get by. When these hit my mind, these are the bad days. 

On the good days i feel like life is pretty good but a part of me just hopes it stays that way, and continues to improve (life goals:house, kids, etc)

Between the two mentalities, I have tried to take control of my life more, make changes and work hard to make things better. In some ways this works and some things have gotten better.

However, I overworry, micromanage, and try to control everything to keep from slacking. I feel like I have to keep pretty constantly on point to just keep thing from falling apart. 

Best description, it feels like I am walking on a frozen lake. Sometimes the ice gets thicker and I am fine for a while. But then things thaw a little and then days come where I am just waiting for the ground beneath my feet to give way, and I will be struggling to keep my head above water again.

I dont want to live with this constant fear of things falling apart, this constant exaustion from never being sure if I am relaxed or avoidant, or the feel that all life will be such a constant stuggle.

Has anyone felt just like this? How do I stop watching for the signs and trying to control things? How do I let go, when I am scared to drown?

Tldr; Has issues with self rectifying life goals /effort vs outcomes, tries to over control over worry, wants to change but has too much fear about things falling apart.",4.896067448680351,6.168908125806452,4.484164222873903,88.01079178885631,69.35483870967741,7.3137829912023475,27.639296187683293,7.520522993642371,1.3703870967741936,1269,42,254,13,22,383,159,310,0.152,0.672,0.17600000000000002,0.9305,1,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,13,14,24,0,6,13,0,26,9,2,8,3,61,52,24,1,5,15,0,8,6,0,2,6,0,0,2,17,12,1,11,8,1,0,6,3,7,0,1,3,9,25,17,41,42,11,44,0,0,1,0,4,16,0,7,24,169,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047108298697256766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056253080303194564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414062048131884,0.11917069952530675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381297147225006,0.05803529560357435,0.0,0.2912222113764309,0.30225518159703696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303487352734427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895986744925719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392272505688358,0.07513795554825145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605499048241538,0.0,0.0,0.15162520077312974,0.17032736846123875,0.1925232202805747,0.1293760018483241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703985220892629,0.06462967670232435,0.038289246984388944,0.16952613851322346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603523732227064,0.0,0.06914344614229077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515825176601912,0.0,0.0,0.06691592402767506,0.0,0.07773862171395182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031920726071189,0.0,0.2395344852068267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889277068954051,0.2855224090960849,0.19748830010971372,0.06752477268250079,0.059491000542132036,0.059622390797665875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899431050963222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789546116794896,0.0,0.06802684627411751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04952641353880218,0.04995572804404886,0.051961693249819516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295766657421647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368862726307671,0.0,0.0,0.1370837581125047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674514542057784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028403217145998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326591153968906,0.0,0.0,0.07180993819860064,0.0,0.05632628350910347,0.0,0.14086437207296104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349762246151264,0.0,0.05065560657710206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133142706206389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392853466468347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287069436873236,0.0,0.06581297553746908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947589002383375,0.1604310557456505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809571535823344,0.06841987010452176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mistahsolodolo,2018/02/24,"About to apply for disability.. Can someone explain the process that happens after submitting? Hello, Im 25, male, and i suffer from multiple mental health issues. Im schizptypal, and have extreme anxiety/paranoia/panic disorders, OCD and depression. 

I've filled out everything for the SSDI application except for the last section ""Remarks"". What exactly should I say or talk about here? Also, if someone could explain the process that follows, that would be amazing! Having a ton of anxiety about just sending it in. Thanks again! :)",6.111860174781526,9.417295516853935,6.298127340823973,67.52137328339577,71.35955056179775,8.899375780274658,37.978776529338326,9.444778638647367,4.7924671660424485,427,25,55,11,9,136,69,89,0.093,0.795,0.111,0.4106,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,0,1,14,12,6,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,13,8,2,9,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,2,3,43,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074448894298453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290121519250992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045496099116407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466679230995804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590333085944477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312813002150945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986473285429404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24024387464145444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.488270982048695,0.2359014290269444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842327731594175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277704333978071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973657258607187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38300434695807023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816626727094286,0.0,0.20808467776627626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16055490451326274,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JoeShmoeReddit,2018/02/24,"Felt Like Venting, and Sharing My Journal First off, this is a throw away account so that hopefully no one I know figures out who left this. Secondly, I want everyone to know that Im stable and safe, and actively seeking a diagnosis. Finally, I get a little artsy with the way I arrange my words at times, but it feels like it helps illustrate my point kind of?  oh, and one more thing. A couple of the entries are mp3 recordings because I though it would be easier to talk about things, but turns out I was wrong, and went back to writing. So ahh idk what I'm hoping for out of this but I really want to share this with someone and just don't feel comfortable enough to share this in any non-anonymous format. 

Link to my journal (Mostly notepad files since I like playing with the spacing in them.)
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1t0DEeKn5Xp6SE1-6Gtp0FxBJQ8BlRgqt",7.240000000000002,8.305844369426751,6.1661210191082825,78.81797133757964,63.90445859872612,9.082547770700637,32.26050955414013,9.120678840339163,2.6918234394904466,694,26,123,11,10,208,106,157,0.067,0.703,0.231,0.9727,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,6,13,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,32,19,12,0,5,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,1,7,1,1,2,2,1,0,4,3,3,13,12,22,14,3,19,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,3,7,84,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275172706786775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577737839151706,0.12749227422067955,0.0,0.10107197116368276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834578682207495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131882312474678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843187385589816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766995938794274,0.11844969784254725,0.15919688341673818,0.1816290844342296,0.0,0.1410319489015939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662522534043067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113425734282392,0.0,0.0,0.329359584589608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909569422611976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265831225315845,0.18224198768257235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801454469349156,0.0,0.0,0.2430089154060773,0.16617816613440312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247048105019951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673742926850934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621764878569924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715395671346906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404843456440267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332661725968503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22030429446046587,0.0,0.16290060775372014,0.0,0.09668106388778938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803460547744532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19558981291443672,0.13160670558726384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537010440731558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778169558453698,0.1812795546253842,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hunnyberry,2018/02/24,"How do I even begin to describe how I feel to a counsellor for the first time? 20 female Australia. I have never been to a counsellor before, although I have been struggling with mental health since I was 8.

When I was 8 I developed many compulsive routines, tapping routines, turning light switches on and off a certain amount of times, not getting right arm wet in shower etc because I believed that my family would die if I did not do them. This went on for about a year until the routines became so long and obvious that I could no longer hide them. At the time I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I knew that what I was doing was very weird. It was a huge struggle but I basically managed to tell myself I was being irrational and go cold turkey on my main tapping routine that I did in public, and over the next few years I slowly got rid of other small routines and weird behaviors which had become so automatic I didn't realise I was doing them.

When I was about 9 after I got rid of my main tapping routine, I decided I was fat, in about 6 months I lost 9 kilograms. People started noticing and commenting that I was skinny and so I decided I had to stop as I couldn't hide it any longer.

I have been extremely shy as long as I can remember, I can't even begin to explain the endless social situations that make me feel anxious on a daily basis. I have always been known as the most quiet, awkward and shy person in any group, I completely freeze and withdraw from most conversations in groups, speaking to new people is nerve wracking, I feel uncomfortable in public like I am always being judged etc. 

Because of this I had a very difficult time making friends, in particular during years 7 and 8 in school. Through year 7 I had 1 very close friend in my year level who I would feel terrified if I had to go to a class without her, or if she was absent for a few days. At the end of year 7 we had a falling out which left me with no one I felt comfortable around at school, as well as being bullied. This made me terrified of going to school to the point that I somehow found my way out of going 2-3 days per week for the entire year, I would also fake being sick for weeks at a time as well as actually getting sick way more often and for longer than I usually would. I felt extremely depressed, this was my first time ever experiencing such a strong negative emotion for such a long period of time (the whole year) and so I didn't realise that this feeling was not going to last forever, I thought that if this is how I am going to feel the rest of my life then what is the point in living, I wasn't going to kill myself in the near future, but I really wanted to be killed by something else.

I moved schools in year 9, somehow made a solid friendship group and was never bullied once more. However ever since that time I have had unexplained periods of feeling that depressed feeling again, either for weeks or a couple of months. During these periods I lose motivation, lose my appetite, want to sleep all the time, although have a lot of trouble falling or staying asleep, cry at least once or sometimes all through the day if there is no one around, want to go out to distract myself, but can't stay out too long because I can't hold my emotions together long in public. It gets in the way of productivity, I take hours to get small tasks done because I can't stop crying. Luckily these periods only occur a few times a year, and a lot of the time I do not feel like this at all, although I dread the next time it will happen again.

Currently I am in a good mood, although it is getting concerning to me that it is time to get some help, mainly for my extreme shyness since my future career requires good communication skills which are currently impaired.

I have not gotten help before because before I was about 12 I had no idea that what I was experiencing were potentially mental health issues, and by the time I learned about mental health I thought I had mainly fixed myself (stopping compulsions and losing weight). My anxiety in social situations has been a part of my personality my whole life and so I think it has just become normal to me, although I doubt it should be, I improve very slowly every year and so have not gotten help hoping that it will disappear over the years, but I am sick of being embarrassed by it being so obvious to everyone around me, and to it impairing my function in everyday social situations. I have never gotten help other than talking to a school counsellor about irrelevant issues hoping he would magically guess and help because I hate the idea of anyone being worried about me, I feel guilty about having such bad feelings, as well making drama.

I sound like a complete emotional disaster after saying all of this haha, and I have never told anyone any of this. I am physically able to function most of the time, it is just not always easy and people probably think I am a bit weird.

I have no idea how to explain all of this to the counsellor, I think that it is important that I do though, I am feeling worried about my first appointment.

Tips, advice and reassurance would be very appreciated .",9.181812738160042,6.9005435748503,9.201343676283797,69.65421475231359,61.355289421157686,11.903502086735616,38.141988749773176,10.33465798735191,3.8301848303393218,4090,154,750,70,44,1351,370,1002,0.18600000000000005,0.7090000000000001,0.105,-0.9982,4,0,1,0,0,1,80.0,1,0,3,11,46,42,3,7,47,1,101,14,5,10,14,147,164,68,3,20,25,0,17,3,2,9,9,4,1,2,51,35,3,5,33,1,0,13,27,24,3,5,55,25,114,17,129,88,30,144,0,6,0,0,36,47,0,22,82,570,165,12,0.039597409610104516,0.0,0.03864135978445512,0.0,0.0,0.038694130387797336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031666034159050525,0.09884465063386186,0.0,0.0,0.08078278916371417,0.0,0.03029190996885372,0.04473380190488048,0.0,0.05537485897003381,0.0,0.0,0.1057502690740282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0330621830395329,0.1448292802107087,0.08746445580777375,0.10108343727351984,0.044612720853050535,0.0,0.0,0.04323011565505983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830342612079004,0.0,0.0,0.03161530950312346,0.04381378057881289,0.08699179021117698,0.07661116015965871,0.0,0.06821038174906068,0.0,0.04109585955055549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040521897958109634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03307855470061925,0.13362526843722428,0.035071551780703564,0.0,0.08832315763556503,0.05230743119081949,0.07163624797364554,0.033362525418785684,0.03783702179216419,0.0,0.0,0.03732891370119856,0.0,0.2402596808148536,0.02828839733739522,0.07603944585749779,0.0,0.0,0.10104460915802647,0.0,0.043416515805570925,0.0611857208782905,0.0,0.12412807319080968,0.0,0.18003296323267964,0.06642485698916299,0.0633393315148188,0.0,0.043621010936963134,0.0,0.03501585854576196,0.0,0.0,0.039094244112945736,0.0,0.12627058427156926,0.0,0.0,0.13270654492040734,0.0,0.0,0.07865832471886276,0.03899547217519836,0.0,0.0,0.17880262254617946,0.0,0.0826588158059134,0.0,0.0,0.0876173337785178,0.0,0.0,0.032277173828093975,0.0,0.0,0.0430227014018354,0.0,0.05593764288428405,0.0580358825792404,0.0,0.034965238143896314,0.1752123072356489,0.0,0.13289811818578476,0.04322525017197562,0.06732860326748619,0.0,0.07493605279678221,0.07929473518100857,0.040145558285452125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971462643055025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321254913892345,0.04208577983268578,0.0,0.0,0.12215985357673165,0.0382434249485161,0.08422458868632778,0.0,0.03879705409178387,0.0,0.04508191329096778,0.0,0.0843398978302284,0.05366445908164452,0.030115614336099238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042880135868345916,0.0,0.08235557413442146,0.06914986145650891,0.0,0.0,0.07486470219085399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269270484287197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025367114545854528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044856146034568334,0.033815971450458934,0.0,0.031489449445601635,0.0,0.20037346265115727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826615925345647,0.1335274424045512,0.039626006385762816,0.12109371743437465,0.0,0.030484020472259413,0.039162850607535375,0.0,0.028027250328780742,0.0844111400827539,0.0,0.09931562246603833,0.0,0.0827916200877025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029772324068369375,0.03182689792138452,0.03460988132570885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611726361449635,0.03890425389489791,0.06287184031369672,0.3463435196637724,0.0,0.0,0.03783702179216419,0.0,0.0,0.043070610973385166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361095240563796,0.16336004952273933,0.07006673436463949,0.09429174192238823,0.09528796053089386,0.04821897730084918,0.10680848009161044,0.036707195418037915,0.0,0.08841818744932163,0.0,0.03817048982728362,0.0,0.0,0.08042618312612829,0.0,0.16877318209100758,0.043293551303149776,0.0,0.3059932024420438
mentalhealth,JJAc33cA,2018/02/24,"Anyone looking to study out or ask a psychopath questions? So, I am a non edgy, above the age of 18, non role-playing, actual psychopath. I am making this post because I can do so anonymously and was wanting to see if anyone would be interested in studying me out or asking questions they have always wanted to know about psychos. By the way, this post is not a cry for help or some way for me to ask for some sort of therapy, I have accepted who I truly am with glee. So, if you would like to ask any questions or if you'd like to chat with me over a longer period of time and study me and my behaviors, you can ask for a kik or something else",9.61218045112782,5.23580465413534,9.600541353383461,73.60893233082709,62.609022556390975,12.74526315789474,39.38195488721804,9.888512548439397,3.618008721804511,501,17,107,7,5,167,78,133,0.017,0.8390000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.9451,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,1,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,14,0,0,1,0,29,25,14,0,7,9,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,14,4,21,20,2,11,0,0,2,0,15,4,0,14,5,75,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.13180769301638648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123880857172562,0.0,0.0,0.0918514353056986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888653123651536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6313556099794585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233670438566706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836676611615252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283267482628652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053378882992123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423029596492138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197561434362165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342379825574204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015949206458478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587172030752065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539240006990769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763236915002597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398258329224754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446297712183513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875972028020606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933418950248476,0.2144226987630708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189804136067454,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yobymmas13,2018/02/24,"I haven't cried from physical pain since i was 12? When i get seriously hurt, i always just groan and scream it out, my eyes sometimes tear up, but i never cry. While i can still cry from emotional pain, what's going on? (I'm male btw, if that info helps)",2.613113207547169,3.7105483773584913,4.049198113207549,89.63153301886793,74.66037735849056,7.564150943396226,20.797169811320764,8.07648339933343,0.6381358490566038,196,4,45,3,4,65,44,53,0.215,0.609,0.177,-0.2973,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,7,6,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,2,7,0,5,5,0,8,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,1,4,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568217703455705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6957693861724129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374997323106169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030991555650096,0.0,0.11999353043845065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415200998871122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22602559798986102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284120246991998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4493274650068728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746539916501825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881903500564164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861358914028202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LiquidVanity,2018/02/24,"As a retail worker, how does one maintain a positive state of mind when surrounded by a consistent flow of negativity? I stayed in my works office for a good ten minutes before gathering myself enough to get back to work. I rocked and hugged myself saying I did the right thing or everything’s okay just trying to remove the negativity of people stealing, yelling at you for whatever reason or simply being rude when you’re trying to help them. I was crying and just felt defeated though I was trying to stay calm and sane but their words get to me. I feel irrational anger when the laugh as they still or become rude when you’re following rules you didn’t make. How can one feel okay with this? No matter what I do I’ll see it everywhere so how can I simply become okay with it all?",5.5217647058823545,6.361246830065363,6.110333333333332,78.50550000000001,67.62745098039215,9.257254901960783,25.757516339869284,9.3871,2.0351861437908494,627,16,118,12,10,204,100,153,0.17,0.6990000000000001,0.131,-0.857,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,2,3,4,13,12,3,0,7,3,8,1,0,5,1,23,16,18,0,0,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,1,1,3,4,5,0,3,5,6,17,7,18,10,2,16,0,1,1,1,8,4,0,3,6,83,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320178126257838,0.0,0.0,0.3792327860958317,0.14609421694541305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859168941583132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502457107872784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740005368014727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430249929157258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736216677971831,0.0,0.16484782669372686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940024738854826,0.0,0.0,0.14400411772629218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507914226076905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460336684848825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335638147580898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326810604822743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902714666995275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765243109367825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662098962667813,0.0,0.13653353851677402,0.0,0.0,0.13681345806203374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659940662234492,0.13711060992220536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406217060805934,0.0,0.16868302053999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34969554240039225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998245816452697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,complex_guy,2018/02/24,I'm having regular frustrations unlike ever before. I recently developed OCD kinda thing (not sure if that's so) and I can't control my anger sometimes and get worked up for no reasons. I'm having frustrations regularly and I'm adamant to prove I'm right. Like I was not like this before. I used to ignore fights and complications but recently I seem to indulge more into it. I'm lacking some mental peace. I can't visit any psychiatrist right now because there are medical complications in the house. I started going out for walks more often and Idk if that helps but I guess it's help to reduce some frustrations. I'm having exams in about 2 months and I don't seem to like to study even for the same reason. Any advice would be helpful. ,2.031458333333333,4.796003673611113,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,85.18055555555556,6.533333333333335,22.583333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.559475,595,21,106,12,18,198,88,144,0.132,0.727,0.141,0.643,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,7,10,5,0,2,0,10,1,0,4,3,32,23,11,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,5,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,1,0,10,4,15,20,6,16,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,9,9,68,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155413270519207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21630700987068666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695007088890496,0.0,0.27066478256617915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837828737068118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050452468158749,0.14386191747599222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309248984489788,0.0,0.09038680846694568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752018692531585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31980599577276503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835122512126741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23309856633844506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021732913270278,0.1602761748452361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269452097912286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270417901291812,0.3140680984135229,0.0,0.0,0.2716407199866842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895703648120853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729586463820913,0.0,0.11257021655744437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498944975824461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056599407291807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373605776486973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578392543378675,0.0,0.0,0.11297834211468655,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,undoubtedly-doubtful,2018/02/24,"What would this be classified as? My mother dealt with betrayal from my father for years. However this was done with 6 years ago and we all moved on. During the last 12 years an issue of my mother being bitter/depressed has been happening simaltaneously. Initially we thought it was depression and a few years ago it probably was. But now over the last few years it’s mostly been bitterness towards my father. She’ll go weeks without speaking to him sometimes for no good reason. She’ll be nice for half a day then it goes back to being distant and cold. This has led to them almost getting a divorce and she says she will change but it’s sometjing she’s said over and over and over and so she’ll be happy for a few days then come the mood swings again. She says she can handle it on her own but clearly she can’t and she’s in denial. It’s driving me crazy because I can’t tell whether or not she just doesn’t feel herself. I’ve been trying to get her to see a therapist but she refuses. She briefly saw one before but stopped as she thinks it’s useless and a waste of money. 

Is this depression? Atypical depression? Keep in mind she’s not fatigued or unmotivated or sleeps all day. Would a cognitive behavioural therapist be able to help?",1.8648318085855031,4.504424865306127,2.9244194229415936,89.14326530612247,84.0204081632653,6.1548205489092185,23.550316678395497,7.503015589744147,1.2362864180154824,992,37,195,17,29,316,138,245,0.125,0.792,0.083,-0.8911,1,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,2,0,1,0,5,10,1,0,11,0,26,2,1,2,3,43,38,23,0,2,13,4,1,0,0,6,1,4,0,0,13,14,0,3,4,0,1,5,7,6,0,2,10,9,28,3,27,16,7,33,0,5,2,0,34,9,0,5,19,139,41,0,0.12142682389458495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527510581447196,0.0,0.12159142406205575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336973234440728,0.0,0.07402066480310691,0.0,0.10332528362611934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284534790582001,0.10459845691940707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349307680645064,0.0,0.418338981967752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426179933694742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139705062893343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688100755517087,0.0,0.06900966230154737,0.10184705882613916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737733935173728,0.12926111195840126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138984048894503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267380564666827,0.0,0.10792974030305233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979581361927644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226064772370724,0.0,0.0,0.12905749710722866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228195842187326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309186536084936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484699857259475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550471598663087,0.1931269681536329,0.0,0.0,0.09676145746009736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151451689460707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200942337075919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151826190912702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061323961877778,0.0,0.0,0.2819718030264944,0.0,0.07780540575139533,0.0,0.09639933466445216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244084275836587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974012737751279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705112510806437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251626357787406,0.0,0.0,0.3909744672665477
mentalhealth,trogdor809,2018/02/24,"I need help but don't know where to start I am 27 years old and have had two stays in mental hospitals. Currently I am not taking any medication and havent had any complaints from my family. I live at home with my parents and younger sister. I believe I may be ""on the spectrum"" but I don't have health insurance or resources to find out. The more research I do the more I believe I have been dealing with this problem my whole life.

I was going to go to the UW Adult Autism clinic months ago when I was still covered by Washingtons ""Apple Care"" that was given to me when I left the hospital but they wouldn't cover it. I have a job working a flying trapeze rig in Seattle but I don't work enough hours (only 18 a week) to get health benefits from that employer. I often think about quitting the job I really enjoy (when I'm there) just because I cant sleep the nights before I have to work. I lay in bed imagining myself on the trapeze and my heart starts racing like I am actually flying or instructing.

 I think about getting work at QFC just to get health insurance but I am crippled with anxiety over the change in my schedule of eat,sleep, play video games. I haven't told anyone but I often have thoughts of suicide. I don't have any plans to but I was hoping someone could point me in the right direction. I want help but I don't want to worry my parents any more. They know I haven't been sleeping well but that's all.",2.6577931034482773,4.478610572413796,3.785724137931034,88.58168965517244,76.0344827586207,6.8468965517241385,25.04827586206897,7.699297019823105,1.249071724137932,1126,39,233,16,25,365,153,290,0.059,0.81,0.131,0.9603,6,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,2,6,13,8,0,0,13,0,33,9,3,0,1,40,54,18,1,7,14,3,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,1,5,8,0,0,7,3,0,2,11,1,1,1,11,0,41,7,31,39,6,33,0,0,0,0,11,15,0,6,16,157,46,9,0.0,0.0,0.09747635203288699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854475145960577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27170926484453783,0.0,0.07641410386029822,0.0,0.0,0.06984406445378147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060890843305536416,0.0,0.08499739459938031,0.22507930917929492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101842549508428,0.0,0.1056683385131602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975249980708192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029802191074268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221043766444124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321108309329388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416558716463913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129589079469363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656218915436315,0.0,0.11353738972620332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185290577896616,0.0,0.11836784964845826,0.13390574205345254,0.0,0.10019588345787024,0.09921139671820584,0.09836963281420104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982470026265276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097917472856841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085286856012286,0.0,0.07055390131317135,0.04880026783382085,0.0,0.0882030001335323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062672666046928,0.10066368553041352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972970836342888,0.0,0.0,0.07406574182963026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937381916499941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481573158015203,0.0,0.0,0.07596938205816461,0.0,0.0,0.22182777234512635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442651741940804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557939745944637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624326307711147,0.0,0.0,0.06399085853404711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530387014913045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998806384916544,0.0,0.08463484167769897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414025870104666,0.10646739726682578,0.0797707456118803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092613414035099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510340106853698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800849012998972,0.0,0.07929997383061524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544733613574156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757613483082136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178331491234587,0.0,0.08012418849488673,0.0,0.08981137537242108,0.0,0.0,0.11152146836958672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29087883262993874,0.10144118870032234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432464524904855
mentalhealth,Raindrops-Snowflakes,2018/02/24,"Doubts about my diagnosis Officially I'm diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, however I feel my symptoms are closer to bipolar or schizoaffective disorder. Before I decide to pressure my psychiatrist about this, I wanted to hear the opinions of some other people.

OK, so first, my mood is quite cyclic. For several days, I'm super cheerful and hyper, then I kinda crash into suicidal depression for several weeks before climbing back up again. From what I understand, BPD mood swings tend to be far more rapid and random, whereas bipolar and schizoaffective is more cyclic and predictable (like mine are).

Second, I suffer from paranoid delusions. I know BPD can suffer from delusions, but they are often short and based on reality. Mine are usually long lasting and bizarre. For example, I believed I was possessed by demons, and needed to stab myself with an ice cold knife to kill them, and that stabbing myself would not harm me. This delusion lasted for several months, and I only realised how insane it was after being on antipsychotics for awhile.

Thirdly, I experience hallucinations. I often hear voices, usually commanding me to do things, however the psychiatrist believes these are pseudo-hallucinations rather than genuine hallucinations. I've also seen people and animals that aren't there; often not realising they are hallucinations until someone points out there's nothing there. I'm unsure what hallucinations are like for BPD sufferers; I'm aware it's possible.

Finally, antipsychotics have helped stabilise my paranoia and reduced the intensity of the voices significantly, however I still occasionally have moments when I get very ill. These often only last for a few weeks or a month before recovering, unlike having permanent symptoms when off antipsychotics. From what I understand, BPD tends to respond better to therapy than medication, but I (and my friends) consider medication a complete necessity to me being well, considering how much more stable I am on it.

Anyway, as I said previously, I intend to discuss this with my psychiatrist as soon as I see them, however I would greatly appreciate your thoughts beforehand.",10.316554621848741,11.479208834733894,10.078655462184873,53.08252100840339,57.29131652661064,13.07450980392157,42.49019607843137,12.45797560212912,6.238688515406162,1762,91,226,56,21,576,205,357,0.131,0.7909999999999999,0.079,-0.9554,4,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,4,5,22,19,1,2,8,1,23,8,0,3,0,46,42,27,2,5,7,0,1,2,1,2,8,5,0,1,15,17,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,8,1,3,5,9,40,9,44,32,6,35,1,4,2,0,13,11,0,11,25,178,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723028751577535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952166202783791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308032357002628,0.20372794206463,0.0,0.07996254387379971,0.0,0.0,0.4554857137410017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947958274752131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058308608322431725,0.0,0.07787218777213806,0.09176682440414502,0.0,0.0,0.20724120644045926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844081241848491,0.0,0.0,0.045715296554413164,0.0,0.0,0.09904251767134913,0.0,0.07690485989521674,0.0,0.0,0.0698525037249697,0.0,0.04723682023883675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968014396203516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380300595646744,0.0,0.0606016193995334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002807920348272,0.0,0.04968836720654452,0.22109486063357686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834199975322869,0.0,0.0,0.08001225232393244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216224329093755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433285285548308,0.0,0.0664636195186121,0.06703975241198587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675327007163207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752562084063155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253613417513964,0.07894474210053441,0.0,0.0,0.08546907372486097,0.10192655353107027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616486483743886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600302930958276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720470882153583,0.0,0.0,0.30642130412176904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660625130241659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220357082011368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988966436431807,0.0,0.0,0.1879464937275341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033946184273975,0.0,0.060066073793032665,0.0,0.0,0.07177745716920128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18824528433822865,0.0,0.0,0.19915327770177046,0.07459981383889976,0.0533276582939797,0.0,0.1450469711425912,0.0,0.0812917311028449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845294796954354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loudbounce,2018/02/24,"**Don Lemon and Guest on the Myth of Mental Illness Gun Violence** **Don Lemon and Guest on the Myth of Mental Illness Gun Violence**

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* [Don Lemon and Guest speak the Truth on Mental Health and Gun Violence, 1](https://archive.org/details/CNNW_20180223_070000_CNN_Tonight_With_Don_Lemon/start/2340/end/2400)



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* [Don Lemon and Guest speak the Truth on Mental Illness and Gun Violence, 2](https://archive.org/details/CNNW_20180223_070000_CNN_Tonight_With_Don_Lemon/start/2400/end/2460)



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* [Don Lemon and Guest speak the Truth on Mental Illness and Gun Violence, 3](https://archive.org/details/CNNW_20180223_070000_CNN_Tonight_With_Don_Lemon/start/2460/end/2520)
",14.641730769230769,20.118177115384626,5.070224358974362,67.39456730769231,79.12820512820514,6.052564102564102,35.644230769230774,7.1686216300943375,3.6097153846153835,557,24,55,8,16,124,26,78,0.377,0.5479999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9803,0,0,0,5,0,0,59.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,0,5,0,0,3,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,0,20,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4305376654619892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722327952382513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8164524168468259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440619622799583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moodythrowaway1738,2018/02/25,"Advise? I’m feeling very hopeless and strange lately. Before I dive into everything, I just want to say I have been to at least five therapists and have been on anti depressants since I was 16. 

From 16 to 18 lexapro made me gain 180 pounds (360 pounds after the weight gain) in 1.5 years and after realizing the weight gain, I stopped taking it. I dabbled in eating disorders when I was 17 and ended up being hospitalized from it at age 19. I was diagnosed with  Wernicke's encephalopathy, I couldn’t see hear or walk, that’s how badly it progressed. I was air lifted to one of the best hospitals on the east coast, and that’s where they figured out what was wrong with me. I got extensive questioning about alcohol addiction and many psych neurological evals (major depressive disorder, adjustment disorder) from having this disorder. Neurologist came up with conclusion that it was just from extreme dieting and lack of knowledge. Referred to dietician for a year. Went through some therapists, some moved away, others got promoted to bigger places. Didn’t go back cause  it sucked having a cycling door of doctors. 

It took me a year recovery and I suffered from some cognitive impairment (memory loss - short and long term, and poor concentration). I was in physical and occupational therapy for a year before I could return back to college. 

From there I lost 160 pounds from said eating disorder, and I thought that I could finally be happy.  I started nursing school, actually partaking in Nursing I through IV, struggling throughout but made it through. Just graduated in December with a 3.0 (pre brain disorder I had a 3.9). I thought graduating would make me happy, I’m still not happy. The stress of school made me gain 30 pounds, which put me in a very depressive state. 

I’m on Vyvanse, Wellbutrin and I take Slimquick. I got my Wellbutrin boosted, Vyvanse boosted. I’m getting bad pains in my joints, but for the last month I’ve lost 15 pounds in about 20 days. I eat small portions. I use my fitness pal religiously, tracking everything I eat. I go to the gym for two hours a day. But lately I’ve been getting very bad joint pain. I told my doctor, got a script for phentermine another diet pill. That got flagged at the pharmacy for EXTREME cardiology risks with the Vyvanse. 

I’ve become obsessed with weight loss, that’s all I think about. I weigh myself twice a day and monitor it. I’m trying to become an RN but I’m just feel like I’m not going to pass the exam. I’ve been doing thousands of practice questions a day and it’s been very discouraging. I’ve tried opening up to one of my professors in the past and she just recommended me for the school counselor. Says all the stress of the program really got to me, and I need to talk to someone about it. 

My teeth are fucked up from bulimia from age 17 to 18. I’m too scared to go to a dentist. 

How do I get my life back on track? 

I’m not suicidal, I just feel trapped.  


Edit: advice should be the name, stupid iPhone. ",3.917117088828413,6.2786551405693976,4.748928197613567,80.64226885772105,74.1067615658363,8.322433884585863,29.524945921429072,9.061647067312856,2.753528253436606,2367,104,431,55,51,764,279,562,0.158,0.7509999999999999,0.091,-0.987,0,1,1,0,0,1,75.0,0,0,1,12,20,30,3,6,28,0,29,25,2,8,2,79,78,25,1,8,14,0,6,1,1,2,12,4,1,0,20,27,11,2,14,1,1,11,5,25,0,6,32,11,51,5,78,38,11,74,0,10,1,1,13,32,2,6,31,261,71,15,0.0,0.0,0.05798870816713945,0.06478032380229412,0.0,0.058067900491997726,0.0,0.06350558845252384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231066092495089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583028054237882,0.137078878401141,0.14884827767520467,0.0,0.13125704765894475,0.1011299460350697,0.0,0.0623612370071849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633621459605729,0.0,0.06796458789421425,0.0,0.06104424462154516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488956737634996,0.0,0.0,0.15329281832128547,0.0,0.15354397244089749,0.06031354351452666,0.0,0.0,0.4086264814264966,0.12164482323643495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432200679549102,0.0,0.0,0.05263153244410642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106811917355111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013883435274066,0.042452119357720135,0.0,0.06509547691278035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054936015264753016,0.0931388886385263,0.0,0.1350868476627086,0.0,0.2851581335027534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977207927278905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697453871789158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058520121145350386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843803696396668,0.13406446339865846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04197253495824607,0.029031292522507687,0.0,0.0,0.05258787686693458,0.0,0.0,0.12973541467775412,0.0,0.0,0.16868369492181032,0.03966560945104131,0.060246044047303125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047431225052186436,0.06315771541988742,0.0,0.044061729830554834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053372536555423,0.0,0.12646146545206646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672639998586785,0.0,0.0,0.0620848500149197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059736972805909165,0.13313571109655306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03806817903529683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056525301865085927,0.09451181347813084,0.05949323267338714,0.18041908951855512,0.04735279027456109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915568588890337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050349290186447467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04206021861313615,0.0,0.04745563812238042,0.04968065892561864,0.13613870574644255,0.062122284551200335,0.0,0.06499960152859109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935806718441124,0.04776231234416765,0.0,0.0,0.0679558855630079,0.1379903941355949,0.0,0.038076142686175325,0.0,0.09435115172496154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056781646061590425,0.06602163134200065,0.08068923390916934,0.0,0.05804806898059669,0.0,0.0,0.051322775254524514,0.0,0.1961222543054388,0.035049486128850636,0.0,0.0,0.2170852334193777,0.0,0.055086126746167606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221270877158277,0.06497020617393971,0.0,0.15306699536902532
mentalhealth,Glitchbits,2018/02/25,"People not near me ""stop existing"" Throughout my life I have met various people and when I look back, i notice a terrifying pattern.

For some reason I have major problems with reaching out or contacting my friends and family. This wasn't as noticeable when I lived at home and met friends naturally at a daily basis, but after moving out eventually everyone I know, even family just stops contacting me as they used to. I've never been comfortable with phonecalls, many awkward silent moments when I just don't know what to say. And now everyone have just stopped calling. I try to call them but I just freeze, thinking what could I possibly talk about when I live such a boring life.

I have a fianceè I've been with for 8 years whom I love, and recently she moved across the country for a job opportunity.  I will move as well when I've secured a job there myself, but I feel that she is afraid I'm not interested or something since we rarely talk now and conversations die quickly. We meet a couple weekends a month but it's not as it used to be.

I guess what I'm looking for here is an answer to why I am this way, what could be done.. Ive reached for professional help a few times for various psychological issues but nothing that has amounted to much. I still want and need my friends and family, I just keep failing at keeping people close. This goes back to my early years, as far as I can remember.

I fear I will die alone.

Edit: I think aspergers or similar is a high possibility (not mainly for the things i mentioned), but I haven't tried to get a diagnosis in fear of not getting it and then I wouldn't know what to think. Something is different with me, I just dont know what.",5.103482559736339,5.965240640483388,5.9991774237846744,78.84906001098601,68.57703927492446,9.401867618786046,31.05753913759956,9.573946990214177,2.765887009063444,1336,53,262,28,22,441,176,331,0.138,0.758,0.104,-0.936,3,1,2,0,0,0,34.0,2,0,2,2,23,16,0,4,14,0,26,3,0,3,1,65,50,30,2,6,20,0,2,0,3,3,2,1,1,0,16,18,0,6,11,1,0,3,11,7,1,0,6,5,42,9,37,37,8,40,0,1,2,1,24,11,0,5,25,187,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913096326979712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135582849732634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800472851808156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407809660923869,0.0975499916810201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299725357275606,0.09211091805419873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022071952001916,0.10332564755621627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582304175776541,0.0,0.0,0.16848585592474788,0.0,0.0,0.2493349242800333,0.19841436620689665,0.04457754606569899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043420979823207,0.0,0.09212240492359278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712079619251457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909338195418245,0.0931483902285474,0.08843405100655301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201861477949064,0.1749751081294896,0.15672554042688627,0.0,0.0,0.1938069438480132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454338625725662,0.0,0.0,0.15569798565665735,0.0,0.1480683824160357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956998603108953,0.0,0.0,0.08938281118497056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037036705319087,0.28110795861471705,0.06480949012892287,0.06537128437570776,0.06799625906927205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845941771014253,0.20074689782077376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18336207160318324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877966360520508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435948682121583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906456054977242,0.08704970987642721,0.0,0.09987078528052737,0.0,0.0,0.07011025962328794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292882810738263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357434078588031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040658700552302,0.2211230808519256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172315588603135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857116486836188,0.16947267125281512,0.0,0.0,0.051408190171585856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971293174868727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522879718529567,0.0,0.0,0.052000453313175515,0.06997919009805663,0.0,0.0,0.07926856350333923,0.0,0.07955283116182567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113547358686141
mentalhealth,self-perception,2018/02/25,"Self Perception Study (females 18-25 in North America) We are body image researchers from the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia Okanagan and are conducting a study that evaluates thoughts, emotions, and behaviours related to body image and self perception. If you are interested in participating in this study, please see the details below.

**Description:** If you choose to participate in this study, you will be asked to complete an online demographics questionnaire and to answer survey questions on body image and self perception. Some of the questions in the study may make you uncomfortable. If you choose not to answer these questions, you may withdraw from this study at any time without penalty by closing your browser. If you choose to withdraw, your data will be deleted and omitted from analysis.

This study will consist of 1 online session that takes approximately 30 minutes.

**Eligibility requirements:** You must be a female between the ages of 18-25 and currently living in North America. 

**Please note:** The host server of the online questionnaires, UBC Survey Tool, is a Canadian-hosted survey solution through the vendor, Qualtrics. It complies with the BC Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act. All data is stored and backed up in Canada. If you choose to participate in the survey, you understand that your responses to the survey questions will be stored and may be accessed in Canada. Personal information (age, location) is anonymized and will only be used for the purpose of research analyses. The security and privacy policy for the web survey company can be found at the following link: https://www.qualtrics.com/security-statement/.

There are no conflicts of interest associated with this study.

**Researchers:**
Dr. Maya Libben (maya.libben@ubc.ca);
May Ly, Undergraduate Student (mayly@alumni.ubc.ca);
Kaylee Misener, Graduate Student (kayleemisener@alumni.ubc.ca) 

**Survey link:** https://ubc.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_74iwgKn0rcq7f37",7.794981546854942,12.064446384868422,6.709602053915276,60.16440949935816,75.28289473684211,9.80795892169448,36.69094993581515,9.562709236259073,5.3957136713735565,1647,89,193,52,41,500,162,304,0.024,0.9,0.077,0.9401,1,0,0,0,0,0,96.0,1,13,0,1,2,3,0,0,20,0,25,4,3,2,2,54,34,17,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,4,10,16,0,4,20,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,2,1,14,3,44,15,2,26,0,0,1,0,25,18,0,14,5,136,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869266831483984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219286634297099,0.0,0.0,0.1002878650661646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346143778512485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674689121878078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467092401076396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300298401156827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115166620316656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705891093051367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919319032162316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388104674901688,0.0,0.2863323721281173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5844180979158573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393089650904336,0.0,0.4081814580517096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806247930631866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354194260336982,0.07605117681757657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577579364755862,0.0,0.11264430274556445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257239058732661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cloud-23,2018/02/25,"Having a hard time quitting cigarettes (on Lexapro for anxiety and depression). Any advice or help... Hey friends... I've been on Lexapro 20mg for almost 8 years. I tried tapering off 3 times (with the help of my doctor) but every time I had side effects and the anxiety came back worse.. so the doctor put me back on the regular dosage.

I've been smoking cigarettes 8 years as well, I became regular smoker around the same time as I started the meds...

Recently I am trying to quit cigarettes. I was an about 10cigs to pack a day smoker. Now, I've at least cut down to 5cigs a day the past month... However, with my last failure of trying to get off the Lexapro past month, I was told by my doctor to go back to my normal dosage.

Is there a connection between cigarettes and Lexapro (or other anxiety and anti-depressants)?... 

After going back to my normal dosage, I thought my anxiety symptoms would calm down. I believe my anxiety became more difficult when I was trying to taper off because I was trying to cut down on cigarettes too... I'm back to my normal 20mg a day for the last week, but I'm still having anxiety and strong cravings to smoke cigs... 

Any help or suggestions would really help me calm my anxiety lately...
Thanks in advance!
",5.223508403361342,6.198939029411767,6.12637605042017,77.63351365546221,68.36974789915966,9.815546218487397,31.26155462184873,9.978442167317967,3.1617638655462184,971,39,178,23,16,321,118,238,0.116,0.778,0.105,0.4219,1,0,8,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,5,14,10,2,0,15,0,13,4,0,1,0,23,23,14,0,5,5,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,10,1,22,6,37,11,3,47,0,1,0,0,8,14,0,4,28,113,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483873278805368,0.0,0.0,0.08693690352802402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808008768681122,0.0,0.4649152367069277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728750872824539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33379308926920725,0.0,0.052924188072537584,0.0,0.0,0.09781552564865482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929805387405116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679736352833967,0.0,0.14955452655435966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665894383858809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314893372126585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707631069639884,0.0,0.04535945687967577,0.0,0.09868272207995896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777296424803719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327723608907636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153849682683642,0.09793585690445282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643657666729163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385965393588503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551931938050114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575753039641974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727729142103517,0.0,0.1846858454010568,0.0,0.0,0.05561861271957663,0.0,0.08572350156952661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061451087738547176,0.0,0.06933393781829662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023840761101024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993146930011855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892475947655652,0.20249993145830505,0.0,0.0,0.08295948117065081,0.0,0.294722742534671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964113799155207,0.0,0.07806090149569507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847619798585267,0.12334775975672728,0.0,0.0,0.11181745688026536
mentalhealth,shacrossan,2018/02/25,"Suicide, well-being and life-events: A research study Take part in this study on suicide and life events. (Chance to win an iPad or £200 voucher)

Are you 18 or older? Please take part in this important study. You can win an iPad Mini or £200 Voucher in a prize draw. All info here:

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/studysbrl",3.823,6.523827300000002,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,76.0,5.333333333333334,23.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.5553333333333339,258,8,48,2,6,78,39,60,0.13,0.65,0.22,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,2,19.0,0,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,4,5,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,5,4,3,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,2,24,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559920199119134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5457858213099117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766218137535113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5512971628864319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789473147624763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22657948274170445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katcat462,2018/02/25,"I pushed away the one person I had left in my life, how do I start over? - This is a long post -

2017 was a horrible year for me. It started out with my family's beloved dog of 15 years passing away, my parents moving 2,000 miles away, me moving 40 minutes away from my hometown, starting a new job, living below neighbors that NEVER stop making noise and deprive me of sleep constantly, and me overall hating where I live. I moved from my boyfriend of 8 years (we didn't live together, and I will get to that in a bit). This literally all happened within 2 weeks of each other last January, by the way. 

Everything started to go downhill from there. We started only seeing each other about once a week, and I started to resent him because he wasn't working at the time and it was hard for me to go up and see him because I have a dog that can't be alone for a long period of time. I resented him because he didn't come with me to live. We had talked about living together, but things weren't moving forward, as I wanted to get started on a life together with marriage and kids. I started resenting him for that.

As the year went on, my overall mood changed into a full-blown depression because of everything that had happened. I wasn't talking to my boyfriend as much, and by the end of August, I was giving him one worded answers via text and felt bored by our conversations and his presence. I got overwhelmed when we would see each other and made him talk slower and lower because it was making me anxious. In the beginning of September, we went a few days without talking to each other. Then in mid September, we just stopped fucking talking.

I lied to myself and told myself that I was happy. I thought about him every day, but convinced myself not to reach out because he wasn't reaching out to me, either. I kept myself busy because my parents and sister came to town. Time literally sped by, but also felt like it wasn't moving at all.

Then December came. It hit me. It hit me so fucking hard. I can't believe we just stopped talking to each other, how could I do this? I loved him so much- he was the love of my life and he still is. I fell into a deeper depression and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. And then I reached out to him. We saw each other. I told him everything that was going on, to the point where I was bawling my eyes out, crying out for some sort of help, because I just didn't want to be alive anymore. I told him how sorry and how fucked up I was. He told me he still loved me but things would never be the same anymore. For the next week, I couldn't get out of bed unless it was to walk my dog, I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping. I would literally cry every moment that I was awake. I reached out to him again, and he didn't respond. I just wanted to hear from him. A few days later, I reached out to him again. He responded with the meanest thing he's ever said to me, and I haven't reached out to him since.

I've since been prescribed with 10mg Lexapro on top of starting 15mg Adderall 2x a day. The Lexapro was working okay at first, but my ex is never not on my mind and I can't stop replaying everything that has happened this last year. Now it seems like it's not working at all. I just feel so fucking alone. I can't talk to my family about any of this, and I literally have one friend. I've been crying for two days straight. I miss my ex, but even if he were to tell me he wanted me back, I don't think I could because of the last thing he said to me.

I started cleaning my house and getting organized and thought I was feeling better, but for the last 2 weeks, I feel the same way as I did in December.

How can I get him off of my mind? What are some ways to cope and keep myself busy? I want these thoughts to stop. Part of me wants to pack up everything that I can and move around my parents in Florida...But it's Florida.....and I need my own life.


tl;dr: I ghosted my boyfriend of 8 years because of my shitty depression and it's 6 months later, I miss him, but I need to move on. Where do I start?",3.254254592139045,4.346890483132533,4.388364605964842,87.83494667193365,73.08433734939759,7.177562709855818,27.46197906379617,7.5177532532257745,1.3967031404305743,3151,115,670,36,61,1032,291,830,0.099,0.805,0.096,0.3402,6,3,0,0,2,2,104.0,9,0,0,6,33,27,8,1,30,1,59,15,3,9,7,138,137,54,1,15,20,6,7,2,2,4,4,3,3,2,38,62,1,7,11,0,0,20,25,16,0,5,51,16,126,10,119,74,21,141,0,7,6,7,74,51,4,5,70,469,164,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087726619428048,0.0,0.033868423854378216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02880042518947773,0.0,0.0,0.047845061870473,0.08400247823234272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03770175237526621,0.0,0.0,0.15916225318224553,0.0325656360342836,0.0,0.2581703908180983,0.0,0.0,0.047715559566410784,0.0,0.03745639882899933,0.04623679343379001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968775084126149,0.0,0.0,0.04480219811401633,0.03648200752274232,0.0,0.04576685099873197,0.0,0.06762834254273682,0.0,0.1395631739638548,0.13656584587502885,0.0,0.1094316756911848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04333608668401938,0.0,0.0,0.03751079705698318,0.0,0.0,0.027972720571926468,0.03830929376129867,0.07136581398608463,0.0,0.19031367552473194,0.0,0.07985031942462903,0.0,0.06424246768701672,0.0,0.08132803018586139,0.0,0.0,0.036024105344494885,0.0,0.0,0.032720610325454084,0.15661286107554587,0.11063437283036134,0.04062735146129564,0.07220788222048362,0.0,0.03387230803235483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235369098285376,0.04508388553473473,0.07587712653230705,0.04181326980301209,0.0,0.0,0.04773314044199397,0.0,0.028387271289100405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886786485156352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042027260067486666,0.03764389756435328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808827446349325,0.0,0.0,0.046014953407774735,0.0,0.11965627202346082,0.04138153960347556,0.0,0.1869854462479776,0.07495936695014829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467145923476454,0.0801478955447316,0.05653981775429667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552574400492725,0.0,0.033804507953214484,0.3150900790794601,0.062266349210625786,0.06280609850791609,0.09799210278775206,0.040903275708405996,0.0450412270488555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451028915272726,0.08609527658077139,0.03221017149943544,0.0,0.0,0.14107875561835648,0.04586247236480627,0.0,0.0,0.03697963574341697,0.0,0.0,0.040035791232906105,0.0,0.04056096362348363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057181801034105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134994428137336,0.0385551519289455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006708229647755,0.0,0.0847640328554205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047408959340578184,0.3297421671827081,0.0,0.06764381457859597,0.17703846231298165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382833304448947,0.03701701717370925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254563484797378,0.027137086736561324,0.0,0.10086691589893007,0.07408637952117676,0.0,0.0,0.16187442797640006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137119392055148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987982679703468,0.10084978325213943,0.13588705253373992,0.0,0.0,0.07852040117680935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040825267910291306,0.0,0.0924970379256787,0.0,0.0,0.09025572380803924,0.0,0.0,0.1636375970671352
mentalhealth,lerara01,2018/02/25,"i need advice i've been feeling really bad and lifeless for about 3-4 years, from when i was 10 till i was 15 i went through events that traumatized me deeply. today as a almost 17 year old and after i haven't been living with my dad(who is the main source of the pain) for a year i just feel like it hit me way too hard. with each passing month i give less fucks about what i used to enjoy and none of the self help tips help me at all. 
i was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to believe that you can get better and that you can have a normal future",4.254428571428569,3.8367299666666654,4.960714285714289,90.03000000000002,70.16666666666666,7.857142857142858,23.809523809523807,6.868970318607317,0.5602023809523806,436,8,102,3,7,141,86,120,0.08800000000000001,0.784,0.128,0.5859,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,6,6,1,0,6,0,11,2,0,2,1,18,21,9,0,3,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,6,3,15,3,17,14,5,16,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,3,12,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358965388066786,0.0,0.0,0.18392153139666087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490363512780113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842812036415727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335891059156362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069360713528378,0.0,0.16244344803103822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18574072410153888,0.13121570928504273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980231652315858,0.09596132866569776,0.17619545023191474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645345314276789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24622368260473584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973313223076226,0.0,0.16218623022898493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660568027328216,0.0,0.0,0.13619087149275072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996010555514724,0.0,0.0,0.1927334483854504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544054734573774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176653413040514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916105313291689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741001049344892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863411437136166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579072412034155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026629770486748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918504987844546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548373085257606
mentalhealth,iheartchemtrails,2018/02/25,"Work and its effect on mental health For some people work is their outlet in life, and it makes them feel fulfilled and content. It gives them a reason to get up in the morning, a place to socialise, and goals to achieve. I am not one of these people.

I am 35 and have spent half of my life in a anhedonic, depressed, morbid state. Since my late teens when it dawned on me that I was to become a wage slave I have not enjoyed life. There would be occasional and ephemeral glimpses of happiness; temporary relief from the feeling that life is pointless. I had some jobs when I was at and straight out of school, and hated them all. Ok, they were shit jobs, so no big deal. Then I began my career. I hated it from the very beginning. I am a proactive guy, so I began studying to leave that field of work, and midway through my study I took a year off a travelled. When I returned I finished that course and began my second career. Again, I hated it from the beginning. A month in I was looking for jobs online in my previous career.

This dislike of working has lead me to reflect on life. Work is contradictory in nature: you have to go to earn money and pay for the costs of living, however in most jobs it doesn't matter if you turn up or not. Most occupations are pointless and have been created by society but aren't really needed. Any job in retail. The service industry is built around perceived demand and societal pressure to impress others, or what is peddled as a good time and as a reward for going to work. Manufacturing, including food production, will be largely automated soon. The list goes on. Even doctors. Most of their patients could wait it out and get better, some might need some basic drug to get over their common ailment, leaving a small minority with conditions requiring them to be there.

So if there isn't a job that I could do that is needed, and I don't find any rewarding, then what is the point of going to work? The answer is money, right? That's what I kept being told. But what if you reduced your cost of living? What if you were frugal with your food budget, lived in an area with lower cost housing, and reduced your consumption of everything? Then what? I started analysing what parts of my life were rewarding and got rid of them if they weren't. The list was pretty short. So if not a lot is rewarding then what is the point of them, and if there no point to most of the things we do then what is the point of life. Ultimately everyone dies, along with everyone who will remember them, and no-one can have a meaningful impact on the world. Yep, that's where I ended up. What started as a general feeling of lowness and mild depression looped back and concluded with this.

Then I decided to not go to work. I took this year off. I am doing some more study to transition my career again and merge it with an interest of mine, but that begins this month. I've been at home, doing some jobs, spending time with my kids, but overall not doing much for two months. I am the happiest and most content I have been for a long time. The burden and stress of work is off my shoulders. The grind of going somewhere I hate every day has been replaced with whatever I feel like. Not working is frowned upon, but it is unhealthy to live the way we do. We go to work at jobs we hate, to pay for a house in places we cannot afford, run a car to get us to work, and buy shit to make us think all of those worked hours were worth it. It is all driven by money, and only the top 1% get to see it. Those people make the decisions in society and everyone else has to sacrifice their time to live up to a standard that has been created for them but not in their interests. When you are old and reflecting on life are you going to be glad you bought that new car or TV or whatever, or glad you worked less and did the things in life that you wanted to. It is a balance, and I think that it is out of whack for most people, to the detriment of their mental health.",5.070533672172807,5.5773563087674765,5.602221346886914,82.93208932655655,68.50444726810673,8.735644218551462,28.44648030495553,8.726425361277474,1.9755844167725545,3113,100,628,48,50,1004,316,787,0.101,0.8140000000000001,0.085,-0.9101,12,0,1,0,0,1,90.0,7,12,16,28,19,29,7,2,44,2,74,18,3,7,3,127,125,66,1,14,26,0,4,1,0,4,13,0,1,3,49,49,2,3,18,2,16,15,16,13,0,4,27,6,76,16,115,87,20,109,1,3,2,0,42,51,2,26,42,465,125,37,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568562965085692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299352053689177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713650569079227,0.0,0.0,0.05333894055230052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04271372949096828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771205673690274,0.0,0.0,0.031146809521341724,0.04979087141194715,0.0831942407589874,0.0,0.05012343789871148,0.0,0.0,0.04943281988150939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056007820152786165,0.0,0.040344961766183775,0.0,0.042775762982375135,0.0,0.0,0.031898934681106154,0.0,0.040691312683593286,0.13844618164552536,0.0434051703256732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767927412146298,0.034502544604297934,0.0,0.0,0.044141505994037364,0.0,0.11679899837839305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616286725942127,0.04632975284609435,0.19213339876883576,0.040508243782214536,0.03862658044447698,0.0,0.0,0.047820456446824366,0.0,0.05141180015526558,0.0,0.2384106255986335,0.0,0.10267239990254226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844464687002662,0.0,0.047561655828125056,0.1114537876211868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834092062004365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544797903879244,0.10227660342630142,0.0,0.0,0.3070149036882149,0.023594898919836536,0.0,0.2132304764867188,0.04274028233920852,0.04055632653438763,0.0,0.0,0.04105938045331881,0.0,0.0,0.0967135078328428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734165775796133,0.0512342345970938,0.0,0.0,0.11564779210736513,0.0,0.03550298586784737,0.1074322192970641,0.0,0.046644405456049635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067834054239394,0.0,0.03272649862497393,0.03673114862338028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229966840433918,0.0,0.13392896675835902,0.0,0.10091770867036184,0.0,0.18262064802185535,0.0,0.0,0.049134213233173366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030939540005106268,0.049656148267273166,0.0,0.0,0.05470975117026912,0.04124436776645465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04887794985472841,0.03848551693777559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991499336950627,0.0399508027065867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836806221795128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532270047353746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417119574458131,0.06189202476886325,0.0,0.0,0.1126467278494392,0.0,0.0,0.04614872721517512,0.10731686967292207,0.0,0.052531985411529175,0.0471780000503598,0.0,0.11618785376535867,0.0,0.0,0.03984911077141725,0.02848612688399205,0.038334975204286505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.492239066600658,0.0,0.0,0.03430796599310208,0.0,0.0,0.06220185134532333
mentalhealth,binderbrick,2018/02/25,"Voices ... quick negative phrases So less than a year ago, working this massively stressful job I suddenly started hearing voices for the first time. Prior to it, it was just my own internal dialogue etc. which was pretty quiet. I'd just live.

Now it's at the point where whenever I do anything, especially positive for myself the voices go ""that wasn't you"", ""it's not what you need"",  ""it wasn't really [my name]"". Massively annoying. I also think I love  it on some level because it's like having people around me constantly even though ""they"" are simultaneously ruining my life.

I went from this massive growth spurt in life feeling like I was on a really good path to being limited in life because of this, whatever it is. 

Anyone else go through this day to day?

I'm 32. A bit late for onset schizophrenia. I have theories about what this is and how it's actually ""how things are"" ... but then you're crazy if you bring these things up so just hoping to relate to anyone?",3.825543478260869,5.976641554347825,5.248260869565217,77.91793478260874,73.67391304347827,8.730434782608695,27.26086956521739,9.354420925462401,2.6553543478260866,762,29,137,19,16,255,120,184,0.067,0.823,0.11,0.7827,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,3,1,3,15,8,1,1,6,0,13,4,0,2,0,17,25,10,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,21,2,0,1,2,0,0,5,4,3,0,1,6,6,16,5,20,18,5,29,0,1,0,1,7,10,0,3,16,100,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.1515226398947593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763886532662076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417060676801485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713896358054444,0.15909405766707055,0.12777526011333934,0.13822460380154575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893041980061007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951632353387155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677933901739345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20027461589592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970946053915386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17316882847075116,0.10255539795127584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850996380650146,0.11092603021383153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320739057162404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648880635449166,0.1302344138737942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750023277466176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421968944136302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408305995622446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515307766202592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290186745470092,0.15171567781398107,0.0,0.13710762813899274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013864096910353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513189090214344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764574601328357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678180807002264,0.0,0.0,0.15796699298975467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894186870964567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990200610167276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778630421210708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063110440015028,0.09949174311988157,0.15255351483935947,0.0,0.09054009262377424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439382874696718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303954161806355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998979090991586
mentalhealth,Hallumir,2018/02/25,"Why is it that when someone's vomiting, they can say they have the flu without anyone doubting it, but when someone's idealizing suicide, they can't say they have depression without others dismissing it as a self-diagnosis? It's almost as if people don't want to acknowledge that mental illness exists and that the mentally ill have problems. No, if you feel sad, self-harm, and want to kill yourself, that's your fault, they say. Even if you are professionally diagnosed, people will still assume you self-diagnosed. Sick of the double standards and the stigma surrounding mental illness.",8.884551282051284,9.516937326923076,8.416153846153849,65.59551282051285,60.34615384615386,11.164102564102564,38.487179487179496,10.864195022040775,4.58101794871795,478,22,71,11,6,152,65,104,0.385,0.581,0.034,-0.9939,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,4,5,1,4,7,1,1,5,0,9,7,0,0,0,19,12,11,2,7,6,0,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,4,9,1,7,11,1,4,0,2,0,0,12,1,0,6,3,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706185905427824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026898699253788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649269649900102,0.2981252588407131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700148054594088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425823388113657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248190562062567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4440094167272246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363231865614184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052784541414562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.350373529908999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4596297247689813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488727124060542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172848051555648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064404361838885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324694447576075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252081515691636,0.0,0.0,0.2831409566188088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ariavril,2018/02/25,"Idk how to heal from these experiences I have been sexually harassed and assaulted a lot during my teenage years. Its sad, that I choose to not look good anymore to stop getting unwanted attention from men. Now that I'm in a safer environment, I don't remember how to look good or take care of myself anymore. I feel very insecure. I used to be confident. When I look at other girls, I wonder how they are not afraid to look pretty or show their skin. I really admire them. Everytime I thought I made a new friend, they all turn out to be the same, they just want sex. Since I do not have anyone I trust to share my feelings with, I share it with strangers in those online support group. Users can create their own profile with pictures and stuff. Some people in the support group doesn't genuinely wants to help others, but only interested in sexting. So I have to stay anonymous and remove my pictures in my profile. It hurts that it feels like no where is safe to be me. ",4.978278388278387,6.05681995767196,5.376296296296296,82.41179487179487,69.0,8.566707366707366,29.353276353276357,8.841846274778883,2.213026536426536,768,28,150,13,13,245,122,189,0.125,0.703,0.172,0.8221,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,6,0,8,19,2,2,5,0,13,3,1,5,1,36,33,11,0,3,7,0,4,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,12,7,0,2,8,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,3,8,26,13,24,27,5,15,0,2,4,1,14,8,0,5,6,103,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858757741236797,0.1007788046145862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694978705245582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098645702390755,0.0,0.0,0.21862884962565698,0.10296625295850906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135421244021056,0.0,0.0753017950020194,0.0,0.0,0.2417782296361341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660706833653808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542937745820648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041446822469158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841304344245333,0.0,0.0,0.12253387692307903,0.0,0.1363789626531056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392013170729613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961709589791928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992135382961814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663167272752511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233314641346307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327080054244142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922553842215655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362303312226613,0.0,0.12049884367316968,0.0,0.0,0.16499397005872168,0.0,0.32711324460205937,0.0,0.0,0.10836756195919238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442284510669945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677167467881267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448174412354901,0.0,0.11892205826900885,0.17002280731375027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630246060541714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281477110694487
mentalhealth,throwaway_pleaser,2018/02/25,"How do I avoid BPD contacts? Hi. I'm someone who's always on the lookout for other people and making them happy. Going out of my way to make sure they feel alright and comfortable, and trying to take in as much feedback as I can.

In all my relationships my ex had BPD, and would guilt trip me into thinking I did something wrong. That I was a horrible person. Alternated by saying how I was the most thoughtful and caring person. Never looking into if they were partly to blame themselves (and in contrast: at those times I would always assume the mistake was mine as well, not daring to criticize them). Basically I was very open to being abused mentally.

Looking back at it, they would always be the party to initiate contact. I got the feeling they were actively searching me out because I was perhaps radiating this type of personality.

Now I don't want to give up my caring nature. But I do see I'm pretty gullible and open to exploitation by others. Given my history, I think it is best to avoid people with BPD.

**Now my question is, what are some early red flags someone might have BPD?** Any other advice on how to not be guilt tripped into being a terrible person would be more than welcome as well.",3.8767391304347862,6.04055297826087,5.209782608695651,78.19380434782613,73.56521739130434,7.034782608695654,27.58695652173913,7.908726449838941,2.0088869565217387,955,37,162,14,20,318,139,230,0.123,0.7040000000000001,0.173,0.9336,0,2,1,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,6,1,8,17,0,4,7,1,27,0,0,5,3,45,47,16,0,7,4,1,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,4,10,15,0,2,7,0,0,3,4,7,2,0,12,7,27,10,34,25,7,25,0,0,4,0,20,15,0,6,6,132,37,2,0.0,0.12173498345964184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040036668224807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25647401992908203,0.0,0.0,0.06986952605271125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900388762842954,0.0,0.06263186299726592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107823616993743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5176104985858929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20950895937170155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390103016924412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856152375190427,0.05839185214365551,0.0,0.08217386003720291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937302814812096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725583710445375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371649982112995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354190907333796,0.10899527668379942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552875139441523,0.0,0.07924260068667592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111261871540192,0.0,0.14245967469406434,0.358848816431838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452770902318327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509693048432015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030873587161516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170624948215792,0.0,0.0,0.08187376272797567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410952192448828,0.07909744456562849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683511884571673,0.0,0.07725079291069091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166856921456715,0.0,0.08156735605917084,0.059910923653042784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975651438359398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477466069885167,0.060601145030995535,0.08155350151936899,0.0,0.0,0.18475860909648628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919459049429154,0.11233456811795248,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlysonFaithGames,2018/02/25,"Almost Went to the Hospital I almost went to the hospital because of suicidal thoughts. My mom asked if I would kill myself while we were driving there and I said no. I wouldn't because I'm too scared to actually do it. I'm half relieved, I guess. I don't really want to go to a mental health facility again. I'm just having a hard time, I guess.",0.8633333333333333,3.1244908888888894,3.4894444444444446,86.07500000000003,84.55555555555556,6.933333333333335,22.88888888888889,8.07648339933343,1.4549388888888892,272,10,57,6,8,95,47,72,0.242,0.721,0.037000000000000005,-0.9265,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,1,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,12,18,3,2,4,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,5,2,10,1,6,11,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,3,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.1884376401426955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3867232983512533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18052233297276601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354238044304887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097431189297535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254426038550936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297957504812606,0.0,0.0,0.20525615603159944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363642098667399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19459927411950886,0.0,0.0,0.22615626035147174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370473577830066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368221725356865,0.0,0.1933266789996574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121994107818484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329974522412448,0.11259810021904974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389531967669213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580110699734976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717262336696592,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CepheidVox,2018/02/25,"whispering intrusive thoughts/voices I have intrusive thoughts nearly all the time. I'd say about every minute I'll have one or two. Usually they seem pretty ""quiet"" and barely interfere with my thoughts or actions. Sometimes they get very ""loud"" and it's like they're right in my ear saying awful things to me, especially when I'm working or interacting with other people.

The problem I'm facing is that in the past couple of years I've noticed that I sometimes mouth the words or whisper under my breath what the voices are saying to me. Usually I'll make a pained or disgusted facial expression too.

I work at a retail store and sometimes this happens in front of customers/coworkers and I just can't stop it. It's completely horrifying and I don't want to scare/disturb anyone. Usually it's ""I hate you"" or ""kill yourself"" or something like that.

It seems to happen out of my control, sometimes without me realizing I've done it. For background, I have Borderline Personality Disorder due to trauma when I was very young. I have pretty severe paranoid and dissociative episodes occasionally where these thoughts become pseudo-voices. My previous therapist thought I might have a dissociative disorder because these voices that I hear are so constant and have a sort of personality of their own that I usually suppress. I have a counsellor but I don't see her often and I'm waiting to get into a more intensive DBT program in May.

Does anyone else have this experience? Can anyone give me some advice for how to control it?",5.724922077922081,7.8298234142857135,6.4836363636363625,71.2468181818182,68.42857142857143,9.233766233766234,33.7987012987013,9.688023934748609,3.701071428571428,1236,59,196,29,22,406,159,280,0.1,0.8640000000000001,0.035,-0.9165,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,3,4,9,8,3,0,11,1,19,6,5,4,1,46,39,20,1,2,10,0,0,2,0,2,1,11,0,2,19,12,0,6,7,0,2,2,4,6,0,2,6,12,28,2,27,31,4,26,0,0,1,0,14,11,0,14,15,134,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989140698070648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19296430495867856,0.09425446191863733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607615263463517,0.10159555098623016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644959704192686,0.09940833703194699,0.20634885519094254,0.0,0.1017850082661501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085665249234267,0.0,0.08050092887746294,0.09413754449258327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684570742710495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750540767469992,0.0,0.0,0.0899837149694582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096121789300674,0.08824503671645967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626926233911993,0.0,0.0,0.09082092226753206,0.0,0.0,0.10367923527844344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177312851218576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988317845851218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140393250127379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758668318778632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473104252487092,0.0,0.0,0.06233469628805605,0.0,0.0978836755075624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781471113085458,0.06377417244297484,0.16064396011873655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871734764137107,0.0,0.08802185336419951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855882072128903,0.0,0.2194620388682232,0.0920978775800289,0.0,0.07330399250148899,0.16748819084698338,0.0,0.1039223353135245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708182730356496,0.3639212156680767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690762525791488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106807294336225,0.06111396215981625,0.0,0.0,0.29211863032574115,0.05364001545661602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986070701657327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052552500570183,0.1518025038822726,0.05425799099637374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867492307823867,0.0,0.1339393982022405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059238440943491386
mentalhealth,Angelareh,2018/02/25,mental health edinburgh 25 M Looking for advice about having myself voluntarily sanctioned or placed in mental health care. At the moment my wife is watching me day and night and locks all the doors to stop me leaving because literally every time i leave the house o try and end my life. This includes three hospital ciders for poisonings and an attempted jump.from height. Is it possible to just quietly go to a mental health facility and get taken as a patient.,6.880281124497994,8.767631506024102,7.0074096385542175,69.46163654618478,65.26506024096386,9.870682730923695,34.315261044176715,10.125756701596842,3.9075718875502004,377,17,58,9,6,121,66,83,0.081,0.8809999999999999,0.038,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,6,0,3,5,0,0,1,9,8,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,3,6,1,9,7,1,11,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,1,6,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299009164284373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167665146078958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005856460695673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756894211208523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773081553982462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053193652232698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714347551793013,0.0,0.09479341208195566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.531885686432403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192458974338628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35322353083535296,0.0,0.0,0.11781220366783805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006574696734586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042702274828127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652575861261814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742652189561854,0.0,0.0,0.1880362411642412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394480441441024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725947483360538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324282019856015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cosmicpinkelephant,2018/02/25,"Feeling like you're sucked into yourself What i mean by the title is that I find it very hard to concentrate on anything that is not directly related to me. 

I used to find pleasure in reading and watching films. Pleasure from reading became very hard 8 years ago and pleasure from films became hard maybe a few years ago. 

And that is all because I find it hard to read or watch if I cannot find something of myself in one of the characters. 

I can't play games either. 

I can do all of the above for a short while, half an hour maybe but then it becomes excruciating because my mind keeps wanting to get back to obsessing over me. 

I hate this. I want this to change. 

I'm on meds. I switch them around sometimes to see if there can be a combination which works. Nothing works permanently, of course. 

I miss being able to forget about myself and being able to get sucked into something else. I want that feeling back, so bad. 

Because if this doesn't change, I don't know. I don't yet have the courage to end my life. 

Of course, I'd rather I get back the feeling of being able to get sucked into something other than myself. A passion or a hobby. 

There are many things I'm curious about but at the end of the day, I'm the only thing my mind feels ""at ease"" contemplating. I put it in quotation marks because I find it disgusting. I'm not sure which ""I"" that is. 

Needless to say, I'm quite fragmented as a person. I keep looking for reasons why, for solutions as to how to glue them all together but well, the spotlight always goes back to shine on me. 

Do you know what that is? It is the spotlight shining back on itself. It is disgusting because it is closed in. There are no points of reference. 

I find who I am disgusting. I want to focus on other things for a change. Like I used to. When I could read for long hours. 

I don't know. I have a therapist but I feel like writing it here instead. 

I borrowed the ""colour of magic"" by Terry Pratchett from the library in the hopes that I can read it. I pray that I can, that I can enjoy it. 

If not, well, I don't know.. 

I do want to add one thing though. Although I can focus on something other than myself by myself, when in the company of others where I'm forced to focus on something else, I can but you can't surround yourself with people always. 

I don't know what this is. It's been like this since I started taking these antidepressants that got me out of my depressive phase. Now, I'm not depressed but very very lost. Or maybe I still am. I don't know. 

That's all. Anyone has had similar experiences? Thanks. ",1.7599686940965995,3.9734670988372116,3.098604651162791,90.52121645796066,80.53100775193798,5.829695885509841,22.90757304710793,7.010146845296331,0.7382857483601675,1997,67,415,24,52,648,212,516,0.132,0.7390000000000001,0.129,-0.8074,1,0,5,0,0,2,67.0,0,2,2,4,25,29,7,1,23,0,43,2,0,4,5,72,88,27,0,12,19,0,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,44,12,0,2,20,9,1,1,15,13,2,3,4,17,57,16,70,79,6,50,1,4,7,1,9,26,3,8,27,293,101,7,0.18665616045511968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030628270346253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354191880794301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04350477578737325,0.0,0.051200705306324805,0.055387852069710704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392117763213393,0.05195003244899804,0.18963977155599326,0.06871568813097942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974574680378755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967658525780105,0.0,0.0,0.04012592727155749,0.0,0.10717778499336228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395151390991783,0.0,0.11021463711973968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086184714472679,0.0,0.0,0.15729827186034645,0.08889813221653457,0.0,0.0,0.3412006981890316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002685318517654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976199429357416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294300901531872,0.061428104968390934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061797227918112624,0.1225458126853426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110605714496687,0.0,0.0,0.2051626886116459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04394692206930683,0.1215876955087022,0.0,0.0,0.05506160942531865,0.05224805474234244,0.0,0.06791908284958538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308001661955122,0.18752120147032544,0.06777442628803994,0.0691109718821251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256463415797237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970054003372445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432203001586029,0.04732014035828076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0431346264857279,0.05432698654855836,0.0,0.0,0.05881680141098127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254699867828271,0.0,0.06617726753498518,0.3111777871050255,0.0,0.0,0.06397120682916246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947882354120559,0.0,0.0,0.049580264476056485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146796826000508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394950525221233,0.0615359051585926,0.0,0.044038730361373055,0.0,0.049687950284350135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058640407414675876,0.0,0.04678073433882138,0.0,0.0,0.05728263816700847,0.0,0.07224072960356806,0.16534141203846986,0.0,0.061129576647354925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747399492238764,0.0,0.20534784078664714,0.18349106588464867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188420316857003,0.0,0.05614271743406645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059193858364588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013363171365864
mentalhealth,JohnMarcelleS,2018/02/25,"Just wanted to share something that I've been experiencing for the past half a year I've never experienced any sort of trauma or severely distressing situations (at least nothing that happened in my perspective seems serious at the trauma level, just your usual stress and anxiety garnished generously with gender dysphoria) but at one point last year I was so stressed out and utterly hopeless that I sort of…depersonalised? I somehow locked my stress and sadness inside me and stopped feeling anything, but this went away after the problem did too. Last year was a really bad year in terms of my mental health so I got to know my 'protector' a lot better.

It doesn't feel like I just lose emotion, but I feel like a different person entirely, almost as if I was in a co-consciousness with someone else. I knew this because every time I became him for any reason, I would look in the mirror and feel really…detahced in a sense. He does things in a different way than me, and even speaks differently, but it's not like I'm dormant when that happens. Over time I began to make friends with him like you would an imaginary friend.

It's weird because the most intense situation I've ever experienced wasn't even anything bad, it was just a week of parental disagreement (which I still kinda get flashbacks to and which ironically made me properly understand the need for trigger warnings)

---------

I'm not trying to claim I have DID or any other dissociative disorder, nor is my protector an alter. I just wanted to know if anyone else is experiencing this kind of disconnect because I really want to know what's going on with me sometimes.",9.88126245847176,8.49123019933555,9.65214285714286,64.15535714285716,59.29900332225914,12.985382059800664,40.76910299003322,11.899873341045813,4.972125581395349,1314,58,218,33,14,430,169,301,0.209,0.725,0.066,-0.9925,4,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,2,0,2,14,23,0,4,16,0,14,1,0,4,2,58,40,20,0,9,15,1,4,4,2,2,1,1,0,1,16,12,0,1,11,0,0,2,6,14,0,2,13,10,28,9,34,25,4,37,0,3,1,0,11,15,0,12,23,146,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243057380353197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883126120798369,0.0,0.0706134159290004,0.0,0.0,0.06454211623633553,0.09457784078120532,0.151919039390719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672400796190151,0.0,0.15414238883528705,0.1688056351139934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163666862772588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28931864436470256,0.10579004166557893,0.0,0.08077712056416031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421871673372115,0.1038312062910957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219337571864134,0.08349556331966516,0.07777132198863818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18668963418277024,0.13188606259586774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262992203980673,0.0,0.04822578740055442,0.0,0.05245931391727587,0.0,0.07382509992799229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325080763446478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811637602178376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961219209177986,0.15218598252809745,0.1504825217610465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038311965530196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751332954303904,0.10326618675066866,0.0,0.07847479197142164,0.0,0.0873416478138462,0.061614604054060385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302218224400764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844332092760386,0.0711916528151325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856956792653999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254856121045681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249427763915994,0.0,0.08811599576846406,0.0,0.08059755778823198,0.0,0.0,0.08725848518035136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832384868879872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826646865032955,0.09490537515067053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403141413258593,0.0,0.10427888380900163,0.0,0.0,0.2075103845249548,0.0,0.0,0.07821010750055445,0.07106124437214789,0.09129244942820117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371525090651249,0.07717148863236371,0.3172067403131411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132363884957685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764809937032987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266934086661834,0.0,0.0,0.09609322786494882,0.0,0.0,0.101661411394842,0.0,0.1633324363357831,0.07326776904990605,0.07404186350869002,0.0,0.0,0.08556807610699146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114228537043965,0.0,0.0,0.2377667315322089
mentalhealth,darry2133,2018/02/25,"what is wrong with me. what's wrong with me? 

i have everything that is suppose to make life good. 
friends, family, shelter over my head and food on the table. but why am i still constantly sad? it feels like i'm getting dragged down. when i'm at school, i'll be okay. but the moment i reach home, i get sad instantly. it's not that i hate being home, i love my family and love being home. 

the truth is, for months i have been considering suicide, and i have attempted a few but was too afraid to proceed on. but nowadays, i've became numb emotionally. i don't even know why i'm like this. 

i have self harmed, slashing and burning myself. but am i not supposed to be happy? i have everything.

can someone please tell me why i'm like this.",0.9425647058823544,3.267802746666668,2.5618431372549004,92.41111764705884,84.86666666666667,5.929411764705884,21.490196078431374,7.285733465282438,0.7009607843137249,572,19,124,9,17,187,88,150,0.166,0.588,0.246,0.9381,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,0,1,4,18,1,1,4,1,18,6,1,1,1,17,30,10,1,0,7,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,3,1,8,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,2,1,18,10,11,24,1,11,0,2,0,2,5,5,0,0,9,75,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910680256508316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552083463774086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091134146931849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248014123957864,0.0,0.2601495526431753,0.0,0.06976657221451349,0.09857256992827344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684533803591206,0.0,0.1066026059722064,0.0,0.1441771695149884,0.0,0.0,0.11573064360002265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688172492970406,0.0,0.13622617307210008,0.1416067562138208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41521401357609056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582991515346524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974589890878137,0.2022294167343594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490637402231257,0.0,0.09210237605367776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013390659823613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146003741727407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964260274894866,0.0,0.0,0.14394269254307274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169095678338605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019059302768344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092715897167042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060014947109825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37351506509178334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017178076491186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foxandherhound,2018/02/25,"Finding a new therapist/counselor So I just got new insurance with no out of network coverage.   Current therapist is out of network now. Haven't seen anyone in two months now and it's showing. I was doing really, really well with her... But definitely can't afford to pay her private pay rate... how do I find someone who is in-network and I mesh well enough with. All I've been able to find are meaningless lists of names. Pls halp. ",1.4524675324675371,4.124068142857143,3.2619913419913433,85.27694805194807,87.80952380952381,6.864069264069264,25.493506493506487,8.00094639256281,2.0693000000000006,340,15,64,8,11,113,60,84,0.062,0.792,0.145,0.5906,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,1,1,15,11,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,1,2,0,3,0,2,1,4,1,6,2,11,7,2,9,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,6,43,8,2,0.19236977213593234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450941749743253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19876939829790247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5274674599799263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385568009022862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354771680422094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37158384932161503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464740038796316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299428366726956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44671226469741904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791731495566072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459270556621668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sugarnspicetd,2018/02/25,"My mom is schizophrenic and no one wants to be around her (CA) Here’s the problem and I need some suggestions for the best solutions: 
1. My mom and sister (22) live on section 8. The voucher is under my moms name
2. My mom is schizophrenic, bipolar, has not gotten her citizenship, does not speak English (we are Asian), 60 years old, does not receive any government assistance and no job
3. Income comes from myself (25) and my sister (22) 
4. I’m living in a shared home with roommates 
5. My sister is fustrated/annoyed by my mom and her antics. It’s beginning to take a toll on her and she doesn’t want to help me provide for my mom anymore and is threatening to move out and leave my mom on the streets. Am I able to find a section 8 unit for just my mom if she has no source of income and my sister and I would provide for her? 

What is my best option? 
In the future when I have stable income I plan to buy a home and move my mom in with me",3.0941318681318712,3.996271676923076,4.546758241758244,87.27288461538464,73.25641025641025,7.622710622710624,25.723443223443226,7.957251820313856,1.3264212454212458,727,23,158,10,14,243,108,195,0.07,0.835,0.095,0.7319,4,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,9,0,14,3,0,0,0,32,22,14,0,6,5,13,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,0,2,18,0,0,1,0,1,4,7,1,0,1,1,1,29,3,24,19,5,21,0,0,0,0,27,12,0,3,5,106,31,2,0.08347555458704417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676623961792791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278531959971061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431094142776977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520488901329784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190679884599974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610004070191582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629514460537827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055951904650523694,0.0,0.16746557486300695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283660743826625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838855938910027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742088808683115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8798900457911184,0.0,0.1774426078045873,0.0,0.06189606601138172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875935524393943,0.0,0.056565196152514076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987483211990554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276322838850916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847208974496266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592986389479711,0.0,0.0,0.053755520300493784
mentalhealth,ClawedNyx,2018/02/25,"Memory loss or something more? Something has been going on for about 2 years now or so, but sometimes I’ll be doing something and I guess “zone out,” but I’ll have no memory of zoning out and will continue on as if nothing happened. It’s hard to explain. 

One time I was talking to my friend and right in the middle of a sentence, I stopped talking and stared to the side of her for three minutes, didn’t speak, didn’t move, nothing, then I looked back at her and continued the sentence. When I came back to, i had no memory of doing that. I kinda knew something was up so I asked her and she told me. 

The longest I’ve ever been “out” was for an hour. I was on my laptop, looked at the time, then clicked on a web page and looked back at the time, and an hour had passed. It didn’t feel like more than 4 seconds. I have no memory of what happened in between.

It’s been happening a lot lately. Today I was helping my mom and went “out.” She tried talking to me, but I didn’t say anything and just stood beside our desk, and fixed a document for her. Once again, no memory.

What is going on? I don’t even know what to call this. ",1.5724542124542111,3.3044014957264984,3.1275091575091603,92.48653846153849,78.91452991452991,5.995604395604397,22.68131868131868,6.868970318607317,0.5457780219780215,866,27,192,9,21,285,120,234,0.07,0.8640000000000001,0.066,-0.2182,0,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,1,12,3,0,0,12,0,23,0,0,0,1,32,41,23,0,1,7,1,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,8,16,0,1,4,0,0,6,9,1,0,3,19,9,25,2,34,20,4,44,0,1,5,0,19,18,0,6,21,142,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970686929511073,0.0,0.11327109924189722,0.0,0.0,0.2795007276500552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372102449705435,0.1385782550341534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002705414151152,0.1095989186348698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061263680407890625,0.08655890965234955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936102746004043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377195110511093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347476350826792,0.0,0.3214322642720433,0.0,0.10853829711503576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121304077453767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386424025797788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658804553325799,0.0,0.13667720187454985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919414777320621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052393478147069,0.0,0.0,0.1030084952805929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190470391445992,0.0,0.12877715095476527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23251843529799085,0.0,0.0,0.12903469767664374,0.08210322079734332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347258569213202,0.0,0.09635372329703856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731089523987354,0.11983335807380373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101297738074643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921588185609116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119534526448623,0.0,0.11484840752376928,0.11577648997783392,0.0,0.0822617599960995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231936450429007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802503398746459
mentalhealth,lmkw_my_balls_arrive,2018/02/25,"I probably have a problem... Sorry, if there is a cached copy somewhere I take on basis of honor, if no I can't prevent someone doing whatever with public data.",5.311935483870967,5.9994158387096785,7.584032258064513,68.29604838709679,68.03225806451613,8.780645161290323,34.854838709677416,8.841846274778883,3.4711161290322585,125,6,19,2,2,45,27,31,0.159,0.73,0.111,0.1596,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019158754167027,0.445445609822606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944387563162684,0.0,0.0,0.5211183590374616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500176939587916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ballista17,2018/02/25,"My friend has gotten really deep into conspiracy theories and I’m starting to worry So I’m not exactly sure if this is the right place to post this but I’m just really concerned about my friend’s mental state. So like the title said, my friend has gotten very big into conspiracy theories and it’s really starting to get to a concerning degree. This all started after the university he was going to closed down. This absolutely devastated him and he went into a deep depression and seemed to lose his sense of purpose in life. Not long after things started to get kinda strange. He got pretty deep into right wing politics and seemed to become a survivalist (for example, stocking up on things like gas masks and weapons). From there things just got worse. He started trying to predict terrorist attacks (which obviously would never come true), he became super convinced that certain groups and people were conspiring to take over America and set up a communist dictatorship. He showed me his proof a few times and it was bat shit insane. He started to believe that every recent tragedy was part of a secret conspiracy. It finally reached a climax today when he legitimately asked me to help him kill George Soros. I thought (and hoped) he was kidding. He wasn’t. He has a plan thought out and apparently has some sorts of diagrams. He’s talking about setting up encrypted communication networks through Tor. Please, I need some help. I’m really really worried about him and I’m legitimately concerned he’ll actually try do something really stupid. He’s one of my best friends and I want to help pull him back into reality. This has gone way too far",5.683756921373199,7.859883083056477,6.432811461794021,71.28062361572537,68.66777408637874,9.66782945736434,31.81076965669989,10.02789654360092,3.6137274640088606,1332,58,217,35,24,437,173,301,0.202,0.645,0.153,-0.9766,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,11,20,5,0,11,0,14,2,1,0,8,48,46,18,1,5,6,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,0,1,14,21,0,0,5,1,0,5,4,7,0,1,15,1,15,13,38,29,6,48,0,2,0,0,33,22,1,8,18,125,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.09527275155451413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127082766655152,0.11106816669047853,0.0,0.07507140808426116,0.0,0.0,0.10782461350359944,0.0,0.10999552535709273,0.10245661315463622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409956039518582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408853609275825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225744676650361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694884220146036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30171464029411704,0.0,0.10201524259683707,0.0,0.05548535259035504,0.0,0.15616718533460974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631790011095054,0.0,0.0,0.09696857292854946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801307872591696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895892358326694,0.09539412783024026,0.0,0.0,0.08639943681935604,0.0,0.10922294545364576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838803055396594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239137362931282,0.07529823901560646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615658333340667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057237259246812,0.0,0.06768431716175906,0.0,0.10200252217590487,0.10716837147536698,0.0,0.0,0.09350250826557817,0.0993247615496904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752654899201052,0.0,0.09639780114721816,0.0,0.0,0.16675089409613258,0.09286844303574182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777572863101139,0.0,0.0,0.10021574452809927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516030815263006,0.0,0.0,0.4146179025104029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201507599151086,0.0,0.07340557501051809,0.07847125865469093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458300936176576,0.0,0.0,0.15501455578671425,0.056928811141746014,0.0,0.09254178056923612,0.0,0.0,0.13256865997419556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055493646667244,0.05758467621735434,0.07749411297397778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050394522432408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829591417577294,0.09949326361551736,0.06935351799261258,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mc_Quewl,2018/02/25,"brother has forsaken his life many years ago. how can i help him? Hello, 
Disclaimer: im living with psychosis and it's very hard for me to get this post done.

Tldr: how to solve a problem that seems impossible to achieve? fix a very broken person

im gona start with a quieck view of my brothers life, then im trying to get the brain explosion i have into something you guys can read and then im gona formulate a question.
 
7 year older brother (I'm 23) is the most destructive, negative, egoistic, broken hearted, spiteful.. etc..person i know.
What i want is bringing him to a point where he realises that there can be a positive light in a life as deeply filled with sorrow, sadness, destruction, anger and disappointment as his was and still is.

His life quick view:
he was born  3 years after our oldest brother, at age 3 the older brother had a accident where he had a serious injury, so at age 3 he pretty much lost every attentiveness there was from the environment. age 7, things could've normalized from here on.
they didn't, I was born so attentiveness from the environment was on me. 
duno much about what happened till he became 12, what i know was that he started to cell weed at the schoolyard when he was 12. from that point on he got the lost and badly needed attentiveness, sadly in the completly wrong spot in life. 

I hope this post wont get to exhausting to read, but it is very hard for me to formulate ordered thoughts due to the possibility of getting triggered 
lets jump to today my gilfriend and i visited my mom, my brother was also there, i won't go into detail what happened cause psyche
just to give you a imagination.
There wasn't a single thing he didn't say something negative about what we talked about
he clearly showed that he had no intersted in anything that relates to either my mum my gilfriend or me
he treated his dog very badly etc.. would really love to go on but i should stop.

lets jump to the point we're we left our mums house.
for about 3,5 hours my gilfriend and i only discussed how hard of a situation it was we  had to deal with, how sad the fact is to have a brother who suffered so much and couldn't get over it.
she said to me, that if we would have kids someday my brother won't see them for a second. and made it very clear.

man there is so much stuff in my head about everything that happened and so much i want to share to make this a little bit more easy for you guys, imagine yourself in your situation where: your brother is 30 didnt had a job for more than 6 months, had a very bad childhood, got into drug scene at age 12, went to jail ab out 4 times, and is as a destructive and negative person as you can imagine one to be. how would you start the project of helping someone else? 

the most rational thing to do would be canceling  contact..
But i cant accept the fact of knowing that i didn't do everything in my power to help him.

What i want to do is, start the personal project of helping him.

Im not able to take immediate action and do something like visit him the next x weeks, talk to him etc. cause im affraid of getting into pschotic episode.

what i will do is talk to the oldest brother about everything
talk to my therapist about the whole subject
and i will hold distance to forsaken brother to keep me safe.

Im curious of what other people have to say about it, if you are interested feel free to pm me 


",4.0884737978649,5.347671320417291,5.050165151008244,83.24569938258463,71.26527570789868,8.040889321451383,28.74603850482071,8.480668928828255,2.02403510447398,2660,101,530,43,49,870,288,671,0.122,0.7879999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9647,3,0,4,0,0,0,68.0,6,8,2,4,32,29,5,0,36,0,63,11,3,10,4,83,104,39,0,15,9,14,4,1,0,10,7,3,0,7,32,27,0,4,14,3,1,10,15,20,0,2,29,11,62,10,91,59,15,76,0,8,3,1,83,29,0,8,35,351,94,7,0.056110049750081464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973817361677175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487118651313752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617379005823773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054864346892265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061257641951614,0.0,0.0,0.06263737222867652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528095463576148,0.0,0.0,0.05883031962459038,0.0,0.0,0.04479930900913793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578469975083173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057420061887509276,0.0,0.0,0.06506984394828456,0.0,0.046872746681866535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187732612479449,0.0,0.0,0.047275136921045686,0.0,0.15128428415543854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028370927071998907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589111082510786,0.05382587252341019,0.06377726865915041,0.0,0.08975266507146662,0.0,0.0,0.11111554172407144,0.14885379506313615,0.0,0.15079075031736186,0.0,0.057585098793328376,0.0,0.0,0.06649067911320289,0.15043753439357005,0.0,0.0,0.05572993987095563,0.05525709649501796,0.06474346393210863,0.0,0.0,0.4242593758407688,0.0,0.0556805664542476,0.04987319031892839,0.0,0.0,0.0925098478142207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060963733229253324,0.11475265488327514,0.19816093754896405,0.02741253607980199,0.05623701048855507,0.04954620191308744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250149499629692,0.0,0.050641510582052136,0.05309268575777276,0.037453893909856206,0.05688678362603548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571541211899187,0.044786506389415066,0.0,0.2062367133568989,0.04160489092182658,0.0,0.0,0.0596736744638474,0.0,0.05497593546349276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03802162185015638,0.04267422125061414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03889964358257519,0.19597252470504287,0.0,0.0,0.15912640015403628,0.06325565040332283,0.10747583482050016,0.05708409252284183,0.0,0.053689739783087324,0.0,0.0,0.06285609710823008,0.0,0.11225046785282887,0.0,0.03594553464983983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337350638443164,0.08924192730751304,0.0,0.0,0.04471244505818433,0.05108048194638457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261400936760373,0.0,0.0,0.04754186306925034,0.12958877275986,0.0,0.0,0.15885992803979518,0.0,0.044809558210721086,0.04691051403278068,0.0,0.0,0.0642325827520554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042187774430210864,0.18039653031282574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514809244155123,0.1118310714919069,0.0,0.0,0.04454511194818772,0.0327182212343398,0.0,0.053185766387166,0.0,0.0,0.038095040619907365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777800041816163,0.0992854833115758,0.0,0.04500809740348855,0.0,0.0,0.05201457826085893,0.0,0.0626448667405692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943587786593424,0.06134753109853808,0.0,0.1083990971964271
mentalhealth,Taliskerbowmore,2018/02/25,"Is it normal that I have conversations with myself, sometimes for hours I ask myself a question in my head and I answer it with my voice. I have different conversations ranging from politics to talking about past grievances with people who’ve wronged me.",7.840666666666667,9.40468862222222,7.304444444444448,69.41000000000001,62.77777777777778,9.555555555555557,37.22222222222222,9.725611199111238,3.982555555555556,208,10,31,4,3,65,35,45,0.127,0.873,0.0,-0.6597,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,0,8,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,25,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896796004871183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32374035196158496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180083108374221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051521363404687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035994508961051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957988090899032,0.21481963575802174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3471169049993373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064619265124016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24905573268010076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387859906033984,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roadmansfield,2018/02/25,"Helping a family member with a mental illness Hi, I'm writing this because I believe my dad and my brother have mental illnesses/disorders and I'm not sure how to help them.




I'm 19 and I used to suffer from depression but I'm glad to say that I've been very happy for the past couple of years and it seems like that stage of my life is behind me.




My family live in England but for the past 2 years I've been at college in America thanks to a generous scholarship, and since I've been away from my family I've become more and more concerned about their wellbeing.




I'm not sure if my dad/brother always had a disorder or if it has just got worse since I left, but I've definately noticed it more when I've come home for christmas/summer.




Firstly, I think my dad has some kind of anxiety disorder. He behaves extremely awkwardly when he's around people and a lot of the time looks terrified by the presence of others. He has been working from home for the past 4-5 years or so, and he only occasionally leaves the house to go for a walk/bike ride by himself. Our house is very small and very dark, for some reason the lights are very dim, but because we don't have a lot of money, buying brighter lights has never really seemed like a priority I guess. When I'm at home I physically cannot stay in the house for very long because it feels like such a depressing place.




I always feel awkward about bringing friends/partners home because my dad acts so strangely all the time. He is also very slow when it comes to speaking and thinking and it's hard not to be impatient with him. I'm thinking of telling my mum what I think and asking her to take him in to the GP to get a diagnosis, but I think they would be really saddened or offended if I told them I thought my dad was mentally ill. Also, it's difficult because I live so far away from them and only communicate mainly by email, occasionally skyping every couple of months, so I feel like it's really hard for me to bring it up to my mum because we rarely speak.




I really just want a better life for my dad because I just feel so sorry for him all the time.




I'm also worried about my brother. He's 18 and never really leaves the house, although I know he does have friends because his friends have come to the house a few times. I'm especially worried about him because he's going to university next year and I'm scared he won't be able to make friends and fit in. He behaves awkwardly around people and doesn't really feel the need to shower or socialise. I worry about him because he spends all day inside and I feel like he's sad and depressed. It's really hard for me to explain why I feel like my brother has a mental illness but it's just I've never interacted with someone who acts the way he does and I feel like this may also be due to anxiety. For example, he has a very strange sense of humor and always gets extremely upset over very small things.




I'm also worried about my mum. We get on well with each other and she's fine with interacting with others and manages to get along with people fine, doesn't seem like she has any mental issues, however I worry about her being in the house all the time with my dad and brother and I don't want her to live a depressing life either. The main issue is she tends to get very angry and upset whenever I tell her something that she might not like to hear so I find it difficult opening up to her.




Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone here has experienced something similar and if anyone had any suggestions on how I can communicate my worries to my family and try to help them as best as possible?




Thanks for reading, all advice is appreciated :)",5.530457015810279,5.646215953804347,6.533364624505932,78.01469861660081,67.45108695652173,9.680039525691699,31.129446640316203,9.516144504307137,2.6988380434782613,2906,106,571,55,44,973,281,736,0.155,0.7090000000000001,0.136,-0.9214,2,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,4,0,6,4,35,40,1,6,33,0,41,6,0,5,10,120,99,63,0,9,25,13,11,9,3,4,6,4,5,0,23,47,0,0,22,1,4,10,13,15,1,1,11,19,73,25,90,79,18,63,0,6,1,0,75,24,0,20,35,356,96,5,0.043258739488162334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042271939569995864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296999169865654,0.10798420991855798,0.0,0.0,0.0588348525146707,0.0,0.06618563460813477,0.0,0.0,0.06049503293182969,0.0,0.0,0.07701889905965126,0.040441081920847034,0.0,0.08128601947950881,0.0,0.0,0.2637012607888021,0.04777587909812246,0.0,0.048737785836065126,0.04539737824068897,0.038258839693102856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117907210354578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572994489855323,0.0,0.02789830826363669,0.0,0.14903475573400926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873478964459316,0.0,0.07571202888318401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03644735375291218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312195864086776,0.0,0.17498334771923404,0.15452026066924016,0.0,0.0,0.039537704194036905,0.03679586170989358,0.0,0.0,0.1002647844618338,0.0,0.11300452971967805,0.0,0.04916987709833073,0.0,0.0345979657297419,0.0,0.04765437857962415,0.0,0.0,0.04604973257814105,0.11625400109708188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875574335258113,0.0,0.08698626367146639,0.0,0.17356817123461252,0.0,0.0,0.2994886640387899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030177010456633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450473203427386,0.02377387190892132,0.0,0.0,0.09160951809814012,0.04700074702725187,0.0,0.09166478104020784,0.1902063152752516,0.0,0.11459477851468285,0.03828262317387883,0.03632644617811611,0.0,0.0,0.07355406673134479,0.0,0.0,0.02887554451796557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797317419977305,0.04589068647502456,0.0,0.0,0.03452871314700291,0.0,0.0,0.03207580720097461,0.10009142012990524,0.0,0.04600616020536023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04925036162426765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580044138841057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388608500955585,0.08997048953348379,0.0,0.045196175611767024,0.0,0.0,0.04876772902785816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04327044591742514,0.0,0.1939885935361363,0.04447718892671868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034401085919654024,0.04330954477576986,0.0,0.0,0.11814339523617452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156815265617449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665298958840437,0.06660538217756394,0.0,0.048424617211832166,0.0,0.04610806053594513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154170004287975,0.0,0.03252518847854343,0.0,0.07562009003755649,0.07965367065151106,0.0,0.0,0.028739184334463107,0.13859226776335354,0.0,0.03434260710551024,0.12612259436557635,0.0,0.0,0.04133557939349335,0.0,0.02936984453422522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03736166170538088,0.0,0.3212369144948693,0.05103025069082225,0.034336773877120474,0.0,0.0,0.03889480196561907,0.0,0.03903428392155985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469122576806303,0.031492877556482904,0.2635880986764809,0.04408435123594396,0.030729767378520755,0.0,0.0,0.11142883974756344
mentalhealth,Icy_Dice,2018/02/25,"Is their a mental condition for someone who struggles to identify gender or just people in general? trust me I tried to use google but its was covered up by feminist and ltgb(I dont know the letters...) bullshit. 

the reason im wondering is because I find myself in more and more situations where I cant tell if someone is a guy or a girl. it seems to happen more often with the black skinny people with long hair, I try looking at the chest for boobs but I often hesitate, 'maybe they are transgender and thats why they are hard to identify' in the end I end up just avoiding these people. (maybe its just the same person over and over again, that I keep getting confused by)

I dont know its this also applies but I also struggle to identify people outside of classes. like in my senior year, I went half the year thinking that my partner in health class and that bitch in environmental science class were two different people! I even asked if she had a sister! i would even treat them differently! I was so embarrassed when I found out, they were one and the same.",3.9032410051399182,5.819247616504858,4.945591090805255,81.18801541976016,72.83495145631069,7.759680182752714,27.6516276413478,8.4952907291091,2.114371559109081,843,32,155,15,17,276,123,206,0.145,0.812,0.043,-0.9709,2,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,5,0,13,9,1,5,12,0,14,5,4,2,0,37,27,17,0,3,10,1,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,4,11,9,1,2,8,0,0,1,3,6,0,3,7,4,24,3,24,19,5,23,0,0,2,1,15,14,2,9,9,119,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941577258663401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134871491322822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400075093956045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536621118050439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845460941699816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21503838157134,0.0,0.0,0.16035939067881194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095205961598427,0.0,0.0,0.13310242658600124,0.0,0.0,0.06342343630677973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019930029728353,0.10734845150414064,0.0,0.10874531980088607,0.0,0.0,0.1290363114983191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112652014386472,0.0,0.0,0.10790070384240016,0.0,0.0,0.1334301071400722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059307052911616864,0.0,0.0,0.1074300082725866,0.1019405173909684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439134929702836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233675733830834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225982201311892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207971151371647,0.10599669488870103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481341084273075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105126806482256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364521178949432,0.0,0.0,0.20571374938507625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253815059320019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610384326865496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778447367469171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483732720955596,0.0,0.11858445144253815,0.0,0.0,0.10484557465814773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253359908444048,0.10953934440597486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164678417738612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623492566574442,0.0,0.0,0.15634771318457394
mentalhealth,about831,2018/02/26,"How to shift from negative self motivation to positive motivation? I’m a M50 who has been trying to claw his way out of a very serious 10-year depression (hospitalized twice, lost jobs, lost home, marriage ended) as well as manage bipolar and PTSD.

I need to motivate myself to do some very unpleasant things (deal with my abusive ex regularly being one of them) but I avoid that and lots of things because when I do try to face these things my mood plummets. My habit is to avoid these tasks. However, the longer I avoid them, the more it wears on me because I’m not facing these things and they need to get done. It seems like regardless of what I do I take a notable hit to my mood, something I cannot afford at this point in my recovery. 

I’ve been reading about motivation and it seems like I was raised differently than most people... my parents relied on shouting and shame to motivate their kids and frankly I didn’t realize this wasn’t normal until I had my own kids and started seeing how poorly it motivated them. I’m working on undoing that damage but I’m having a hard time changing how I motivate myself. I still rely on shouting and shame. It’s like I have a drill Sargent in my head, constantly shouting at me and berating me for not being man enough, etc. to get things done. 

So I ask, how does one shift their internal motivation from negative to positive?",5.799137700534762,6.592884185606064,6.5126827094474145,76.02946524064174,66.99242424242424,10.151158645276293,32.57486631016043,10.194018383442646,3.323563101604279,1091,45,203,26,17,359,147,264,0.146,0.7140000000000001,0.14,-0.1368,5,3,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,6,11,9,16,0,5,7,0,18,5,4,12,0,41,35,20,0,5,4,2,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,4,19,11,0,3,11,1,1,0,7,10,1,3,10,5,34,4,34,22,7,18,0,4,1,0,17,10,0,5,10,145,53,12,0.0,0.14673130052266525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577459098761048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098461347050587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100732704936474,0.0,0.0,0.1338280948080234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767460370867556,0.10666404722934007,0.0,0.0,0.12938745694039402,0.0,0.0,0.1083740686506488,0.2534646208858567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968634274194562,0.1279608282687091,0.13811541903024305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940359245234528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109371855582474,0.0,0.12709656481144127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422259172297336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289305517193864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815073295793065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703740989344127,0.10528516531733888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365302226872304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133785807648803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783569454514438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375107431855317,0.0,0.0,0.08585573655918655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706974694370036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14476346843366894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387448455870807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868522048752518,0.2254803385021016,0.12919314191697062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533883013161774,0.0,0.0,0.08765527698630056,0.0,0.09889955975834468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311299831860276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41137219302790573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221266634532747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815978093636588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436354221601472,0.0,0.0982991988008225,0.0,0.0,0.11134790602108947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015770214211764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974952531715024
mentalhealth,HiplessMoon,2018/02/26,"I am decaying as a human being I am a 23 years old functioning man. I run my own business, I sometimes hang out with my friends, I am able to get out of my bed etcetera, which supposedly makes me a normal person.

There is one problem though: I seem to be slowly dying on the inside and it came so far that I've started feeling it on a physical level. Throughout last 6 weeks I've tried to take notes on thoughts that were eating my mind and facts about my existency:

* I eat once a day, if I try to eat more than that - I'll vomit.
* I am NEVER happy. I don't understand happy people, as if they are acting very foreign and weird to me.
* I am not interested in anything. I don't have any hobbies or interests, everything is greyed out and makes no sense for me.
* I can't ""relax"", I don't know how to rest, I don't understand and dislike people who have rest. Having a rest = doing nothing = wasting your time on nonsense.
* My libido is dead and gone: I don't want anything or anyone. Occasionally I masturbate, but I don't have any sexual urge or desire to do so.
* I wake up 3-4 times a night simply because my mind is overflown with random thoughts. Sometimes, I wake up for no reason and just can't fall asleep.
* I think about death few times a week. I understand I won't ever commit suicide, these thoughts just randomly pop through my head here and there.
* I am constantly sad for no apparent reason.

I've been feeling like this for at least 5 years or so.

What's going on with me? When do I die already, so that I don't have to feel these feels every single day?",1.4385624999999995,3.547152731250001,3.4287500000000013,88.29125,81.0625,6.125,23.125,7.292943589461545,0.9521562499999998,1214,42,252,17,32,410,178,320,0.136,0.794,0.071,-0.9565,1,0,0,0,0,3,49.0,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,0,9,0,33,8,4,5,4,55,55,24,5,6,10,0,4,1,1,1,1,0,1,3,12,15,3,0,15,1,0,7,15,4,0,1,7,5,40,7,34,45,8,39,0,1,1,0,7,14,0,9,19,170,52,0,0.1030651623306006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373496950943322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401756892796387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206555788594153,0.0,0.1696276937542525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282756634048305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787908883367555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137682590966827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293700667018665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139307332170906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163841739305627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322833991992853,0.08683684442753271,0.0,0.09262832222271287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084513713439332,0.07362977256237425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962788875243276,0.0,0.05384729346003679,0.0,0.05857430689007829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942956357966092,0.0,0.0,0.10577459085124848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664191783004656,0.08401186322341196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035243229229425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759359233955482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20813286675754814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949020695507446,0.0,0.0,0.09671967302169783,0.10098197627802458,0.09889380293901084,0.0,0.10814955043954047,0.1097610341990729,0.06983962134258115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290481289173326,0.08999252433844776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861944109617488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193630470880764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938266529289933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386816182868175,0.0,0.07295005237107838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273655943692652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749217545489936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660399944325927,0.1012609986994038,0.24546667920044465,0.18029437494915995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994895969508125,0.0,0.0,0.32188340632297885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503955277973367,0.060790503068866276,0.0,0.16534531285370307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327411708336508
mentalhealth,Shaney777,2018/02/26,"Uneducated person needs guidance for a friend! Hello all,

I see myself as being relatively uneducated in the area of mental health, and I desperately need advice for a dear friend, so I came here to hopefully get some decent, experienced information.

My friend and I are *somewhat* romantically involved, so that is probably causing me to be a little more passionate and worried about her. So, from what I can tell, she left a suicide note just last week but decided not to go through with it. She has been battling depression for six years now, and she feels like nothing she does has helped very much; it's wearing her down (getting tired). She has went to a psychiatrist and takes several kinds of medication for her mental illnesses (seems to be antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and anti-psychotics). She says that her body quickly becomes immune to everything, and she has to keep trying new meds to get the same effect.

Cutting seems to help her a lot, but recently she said that even cutting doesn't help her to feel anything. That scared me... She wonders what she can do now if cutting isn't helping.

I know that her depression is the worst when she is alone. If people are around that she feels cares about her and she can rant to them (feel understood), she seems to be a lot better. But it's a big cycle.

So my question to y'all is this: can I actually *do* or tell her anything that is going to help her situation?",5.926394129979035,7.1511255660377415,6.582610062893082,74.09043501048221,66.9245283018868,9.511530398322849,32.08071278825996,9.725611199111238,3.097800838574423,1125,46,202,24,18,369,148,265,0.155,0.716,0.129,-0.8657,0,1,0,0,0,1,43.0,0,1,1,2,14,18,4,1,11,0,24,8,2,2,1,44,49,20,1,5,8,0,4,1,3,0,5,2,0,1,13,11,0,1,14,0,0,4,3,8,0,1,5,8,38,10,29,40,9,20,0,2,1,1,43,7,0,13,10,151,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.10063810057667864,0.0,0.0,0.10077553707778186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680955819500368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889267611466334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697311964394078,0.09180582907751096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389682906563013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120837977308778,0.0,0.11455201519650088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795101578114453,0.1051459202838922,0.1059409154648441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764807701195676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024805168115624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811510452081801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268484176771932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857856329107866,0.07367469965534422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390294272492103,0.0,0.16164044929898394,0.0,0.11722009500954847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962029485748294,0.0,0.0,0.3456227909519928,0.0,0.0,0.1024294232708972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166494944865136,0.0,0.10739199449169763,0.05667647934802751,0.08406312521510725,0.0,0.0,0.11204892827037913,0.0,0.0,0.05038315611946543,0.10336139899236027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535156074001276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455201519650088,0.10389066093632232,0.20785763721258252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581098294865342,0.15293628495702907,0.0,0.0996017134964728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895414552766994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149600496309147,0.09004743558381567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111894805936884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552701816588402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182650809317102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980983918081004,0.0820115647608642,0.10324916906510606,0.0,0.08217970396067761,0.2816517109985855,0.0,0.11650534247222948,0.0,0.0,0.11592024929948926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280534853827336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753945929199338,0.0,0.1802769228222031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853052293414812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001717656997003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509144184255298,0.0,0.0,0.08272310126719404,0.0,0.0,0.09560073571361218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183797127332236,0.0,0.10473154091360096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641108313069471
mentalhealth,Lexiton,2018/02/26,"Starting to self-destruct and I can't stop. Is there anything I can do? I've noticed lately that I have started to self-destruct and no matter how hard I try, I can't get myself to stop. I can't get myself to do any of my school work, I am speaking to my friends less and less, I've stopped sleeping and eating properly, and personal hygiene is almost non-existent unless its to cry in the shower. The worst part is I know I shouldn't be doing any of this, but I hate myself too much to stop. I know I shouldn't hate myself but I have no motivation to change because I feel like I don't deserve it since I hurt too many people in the past and I am too much of a failure to continue. 

My question for people who have been through something like this is, what caused you to stop self-destructing and hating yourself? Was it internal or external?",4.511324224908041,4.885675676300579,5.549416710457172,83.28800315291645,69.69364161849711,8.14062007356805,30.756174461376766,8.00094639256281,2.0280104046242773,664,26,136,8,11,220,93,173,0.199,0.688,0.113,-0.9607,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,5,8,3,0,4,0,22,2,1,3,0,27,32,12,0,2,4,0,2,2,1,2,0,1,1,1,8,7,1,5,5,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,3,25,3,18,27,6,12,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,3,12,100,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053450857534675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371327669009672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990553558345396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337725111196558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365452313951325,0.1273369161724083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222226387616165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316993070919892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608633658386734,0.08599330875474286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299859804911864,0.0,0.125778113145563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782907655623336,0.3565253306266718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886000816128285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230588005127214,0.0,0.13578411359082376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761471225503185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203764489014672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697356878824294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704356746148938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035043022029075,0.11490806353918034,0.16690066083155794,0.1051036104246973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484344814608304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182222155965025,0.0,0.0,0.3767206763053587,0.0,0.0,0.0995724156449426,0.0,0.12045826991208695,0.0,0.0,0.0926677377050122,0.0,0.0,0.1703989068255386,0.0,0.0,0.5031791470916129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817242379145556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763176853186133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotMarcus7,2018/02/26,"Tips for Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Hi all. I'm wondering if anyone that is an anxious-preoccupied attachment type can offer me any tips/tricks on dealing with the anxiety. My SO is very supportive, but she's usually a pretty busy person and I'd like some advice on how to manage my feelings when she can't be around to support me.    
Thanks in advance! 

Edit: From Northeastern US. ",4.985117370892019,7.288636549295774,6.309507042253525,70.9030399061033,70.83098591549296,9.8037558685446,32.960093896713616,10.125756701596842,4.039730516431924,309,15,49,9,6,104,60,71,0.018000000000000002,0.7140000000000001,0.268,0.9601,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,1,10,11,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,9,10,2,7,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,3,33,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071217505348807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413790530148268,0.0,0.16214638646518342,0.4789017489609412,0.0,0.14820513616081335,0.0,0.0,0.1886865064600324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185181735061563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717173633010398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355139546298273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850725188882052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21563628488331332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810521730403313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514136173656813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25495795583037856,0.0,0.2334404912120132,0.17488657367674024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985812884848664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fall-Maiden,2018/02/26,"How do you spend your time to relax and unwind? So for all of my life I have used video games to ""Relax"" but really they are not effective in the slightest at helping me unwind in fact I think video games spur on my depression and anxiety more than anything else

Recently I have had my hair done and that is the most relaxed I have felt in a very very long time, But I cant shell out major $$$ every time I need to relax for 3 hours.

Im up for a bit of self discovery here and was wondering what other people do to chill out?

Also if anyone knows any good subs to x-post this too I would appreciate it!

Thanks all x
Stay safe!
Be Brave!",2.5476470588235287,3.4678231764705885,4.290470588235299,88.52511764705883,74.58823529411767,7.792941176470588,21.688235294117646,8.238735603445708,0.8692141176470582,496,11,113,8,10,168,96,136,0.068,0.7070000000000001,0.224,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,1,5,9,0,0,4,0,13,2,1,3,3,24,20,10,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,5,10,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,2,14,8,19,14,6,15,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,3,6,72,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095963770483664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837035969085334,0.0,0.14440885559957975,0.0,0.0,0.13199266769696705,0.0,0.15534197243948406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20608840893834532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258768724917502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317768067019628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769346449649724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590472215384391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812492075936766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833167322617914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265288342810655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590084006507904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390444816026232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374328676804316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333413116180454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705588258302542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997087548530318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086964170990933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078988263189014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093116562134447,0.0,0.1863880175906861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969287187047296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012041523915102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379444181799486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095646374717407,0.0,0.0,0.33022065211735835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630370349129979,0.0,0.3115107344043404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047134694820851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409709119652544,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrrr3214,2018/02/26,Is being a lolicon is a mental disorder? I have no interest in real children and never fantasized about one.,4.058499999999999,6.817819850000002,7.190000000000001,61.32500000000002,75.5,10.0,35.0,10.125756701596842,5.1435,87,5,11,3,2,32,18,20,0.224,0.639,0.13699999999999998,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,13,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5298541337725865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4659057413961802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565665627908922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132772536724649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5262167668262808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mephitidae,2018/02/26,"Why am I like this?? It's like my emotions are all-or-nothing. Most of the time during day to day things I don't seem to feel as much emotion as other people, average things that make people smile or feel excited just don't effect me. I have to force a reaction. Then sometimes there's periods where something will set me off and I get extremely depressed/anxious, with compounding irrational negative thoughts that can lead to crying or sometimes suicidal thinking. It's often when someone's angry at me or I've made a mistake, even though logically it's not a big deal and most people don't have that intense reaction to it. The thing is my base state is pretty content, I'm not depressed normally. Although I used to have depression for years so I'm thinking that might've messed up my emotions, or maybe I was always like that. It's not like I was always aware of how irrational this was too.",4.1982857142857135,6.02360057142857,4.995857142857143,81.50864285714287,71.85714285714286,8.200000000000001,30.785714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.668142857142857,720,32,132,14,14,233,104,175,0.163,0.723,0.115,-0.8651,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,10,9,0,0,5,0,15,0,0,6,0,29,27,14,1,2,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,16,3,0,0,8,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,5,2,13,5,15,21,3,15,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,8,11,89,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251344883108749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860327835787046,0.17449416059282982,0.13947201086936525,0.2330400678350433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4565293555407414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935390039180728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368074548170237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068038094024658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643719947282861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280091269045932,0.09030321578478537,0.0,0.13591110481791194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435150966828606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994494109148528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254973635261413,0.12980878360295933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28136697216393763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763260870486693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315760264332175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462581513916915,0.1041483424748317,0.2675989527743521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797889466456526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26963031947179983,0.1733692322809729,0.13291598337761254,0.1074004979587998,0.07888527156428518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684206325390775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207289673031405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711855246670719
mentalhealth,yuniewings,2018/02/26,"What can I expect for my first therapy session? I've been battling depression and suicidal ideation for a very long time, and finally accepted that I need to seek professional help. I found a therapist, and so I'm about to give them a call during my lunch to set up an appointment. I'm scared and a part of me doesn't want to make the phone call, but I have to do it because it's what's best for me. I'd like to hear your experiences with your first therapy session. Thank you! ",4.903809523809521,5.067155163265305,5.951428571428572,81.48523809523812,68.79591836734693,10.61496598639456,31.639455782312922,10.504223727775694,3.079504761904761,378,15,82,10,6,126,67,98,0.098,0.74,0.162,0.8512,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,3,2,7,1,1,6,0,5,1,0,1,0,12,14,6,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,1,12,4,13,12,2,7,0,1,0,0,10,1,0,0,6,51,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230573733744507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933394638029717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376241668077984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867821490071424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021363776240545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018164681509708,0.0,0.31341423002189456,0.0,0.2020001955298106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767315239935129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764215120807555,0.0,0.12348640845366135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000614482939412,0.0,0.0,0.16303897106496482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297587460939627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660523152690796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950462788262927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444774762330107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201519224281852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961549951246624,0.42136927064144997,0.21390682812355727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742679737494094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201018014954898,0.10866443932054994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlemeowcat,2018/02/26,"Trouble holding down a job, pretty sure it's due to depression/anxiety? I recently posted in r/depression about this but I thought this would be a good place to share/ask too.  
  
   
  
I've been struggling with recurrent depression and generalized anxiety disorder for probably about 5 years (at least how long it's been diagnosed). When I was 19 and in college I became very suicidal and was hospitalized 3 times for suicidal ideation/trying to kill myself.  
  
   
  
Since then I've been doing better, no more hospital stays, but the road has certainly been up and down. I've been on mediation (welbutrin and fluvox) that seems to at least keep me at a dull, constant low instead of wildly dipping down. Depression and anxiety have become as much of a part of my life as eating or sleeping. They're just there, part of my personality, part of my routine.  
  
   
  
Since being diagnosed 5 years ago, I've been fired from many jobs. Due to being in school and moving a lot, I've had many different ones. I've probably been fired from at least half, if not more. It's always for something different. One time I was on my phone, one time I was always late (definitely due to depression/not being able to get out of bed), one time it was because my anxiety freaked out my boss and she no longer felt comfortable having me around the residents (assisted living...that one was hard, I loved that job). I tried talking to her about an issue but I couldn't calm down/stop shaking and stuttering because I was so fucking anxious. There's been other times too.  
  
   
  
I think I'm going to be fired from my current job tomorrow. I'm a vet tech at a small, family-owned clinic with 11 employees counting the practice manager and owner. There's 4 doctors, 5 techs. I love my job. I care about animals more than anything and really strive to do better every day. I've learned from at least some of my mistakes in the past and have been upbeat, compliant, and earnestly open to critique at this job. I'm hyper-aware of the threat of termination and seriously, I try to be the best employee I possibly can be. I could probably be considered a submissive kiss-ass. I just DON'T want to be fired. That's been my main goal.  
  
   
  
But last week I fucked up the drawer and didn't close it out correctly, so it was off for the next day. My boss took me into his office and closed the door (bad sign) and told me that he thinks my fostering (I foster dogs for a local rescue) has been distracting me from my job and getting in the way. He said I've been distracted and flying out the door at 6:01 (we close at 6) and rushing towards the end of the day and making mistakes. I don't feel this is true, but I know my perception may be off and biased. My fostering certainly doesn't have anything to do with this. I cried (I know, like a little bitch) and told him I was sorry and that it was unacceptable and that I would try harder.  
  
   
  
The next day I was in charge of a hospitalized patient and was busy helping the doctors with incoming patients and didn't do his noon treatments til 1:30. The owner noticed and has been asking my coworkers about me and my performance.  
  
   
  
I'm going to be fired when I go back tomorrow. I know it. I've been having breakdowns about this all weekend and it has sent me into a depressive episode. I don't want to live like this. I can't keep getting fired. What's causing me to be so absent-minded?? I want so bad to be a good employee but the harder I try the worse it gets?? What can I do about this? Are there job counselors or something that can help me see things from an objective perspective? Is there something I should be utilizing/doing differently? 
  
   
  
I know this is impossibly long but even if you don't read it, it was therapeutic for me to write it all out.  If you're going to say ""just get over it and be better at your job"" please don't, it doesn't help. 
  
   
  
tl;dr - keep getting fired, make little mistakes and am absent-minded no matter how hard I try, depression and anxiety have taken over my life and make it worse. what do",5.046587368224646,6.061823838790933,5.942177441925554,78.64902789439316,68.7984886649874,9.760574680473926,30.446776751562638,9.950812598591193,2.9690386043474204,3224,125,615,77,54,1063,326,794,0.206,0.703,0.091,-0.9986,17,0,3,0,0,1,136.0,1,2,0,6,29,41,5,4,33,0,83,13,1,8,7,117,129,58,3,14,16,0,11,2,0,4,7,2,3,1,37,51,1,4,13,2,0,9,15,24,0,6,38,14,73,17,94,70,17,95,0,6,1,4,27,47,3,9,38,415,110,19,0.04657636584186964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04128713806171285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751053507061957,0.4541892563723908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815396191955407,0.05261803596586173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766567610485871,0.04146284036225782,0.08708522942985125,0.0,0.0,0.03581435034491172,0.07777863996372046,0.056785040622011326,0.05143993675312738,0.0,0.0,0.048879022417624415,0.12357903179673307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04748770912784731,0.04784675777005002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033250491795646,0.0,0.03718743817135086,0.0,0.05116195081964426,0.12015161120559012,0.0,0.20058077825292447,0.09454806180939787,0.0,0.14598716709184945,0.05338055044188083,0.09534576809752207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765925005871228,0.0,0.0,0.04125283553809247,0.0,0.0,0.030763250366386788,0.0,0.03924259704396192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023550410032857013,0.0,0.04472061535772905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611819939849638,0.14600537270261765,0.0,0.1058816882428262,0.07813209173490078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344655052744533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365746870844996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861362501916672,0.4159787062221639,0.12419764204498293,0.051529847941316834,0.0,0.10238861035797656,0.03796595462586263,0.052540169393327014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579652924178728,0.045509719374449684,0.0933635092477956,0.04112778435695028,0.08243723619459366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03959756065215322,0.08407397727003972,0.0,0.09327025761256807,0.09444224902793502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405770414178494,0.0,0.0,0.04950330583562581,0.034238988039114265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906898694035664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053027501217042826,0.0,0.0,0.15780675450136608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513129961190826,0.04446241142171227,0.0,0.04066868611894103,0.04866238903061649,0.051126863074213665,0.0,0.05250785425914358,0.0446072835798252,0.047384908566956964,0.1506516001263737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046588970067940425,0.0,0.02983801261431088,0.0,0.04598854225420356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04430478979607471,0.037039395555893535,0.0,0.04713776882546873,0.037115333313556126,0.04240137417647489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705690226255739,0.0,0.04661000273625425,0.0,0.0,0.10757028582127373,0.0,0.05213842829673735,0.0,0.049644208804764715,0.0,0.038939927395408885,0.0,0.04869173039114536,0.0,0.1018939691618564,0.0,0.043897673597313856,0.0,0.0,0.037436318582313784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030943267866720393,0.059688509120491035,0.0,0.036976431847894016,0.135795267398032,0.0,0.0,0.08901142709642929,0.05174805621706927,0.1897337703220747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03843037969117781,0.08241584197668769,0.03697015125389763,0.03736075123526945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094930591846241,0.06617302790568833,0.0,0.0,0.059987305072051376
mentalhealth,jjaamm0,2018/02/26,"Depression and anxiety made lead to me getting kicked out of uni, how do I explain why? I've been extremely lonely since the beginning of this year as sometimes I go 3 days without seeing another person. It lead to a poor motivation to go to classes and very little personal care or doing anything for myself one of which is getting a new Id to mark my attendance to the lectures I've been going to (most likely I'm under 40% attendance). The university knows about my issues as I get extra time in exams (due to anxiety of exam halls) but because my low attendance, poor assignment and on paper general laziness I feel like although the reason are understandable I'm basically a lost cause and get removed anyway. How do I explain what I've been going though and that I actually can catch up and willing even though all evidence points to the opposite?",8.639814814814816,7.636724061728398,9.497623456790127,63.03680555555556,61.46913580246914,12.79135802469136,40.62037037037037,11.93303328291395,5.161540740740742,686,33,112,19,8,236,108,162,0.119,0.838,0.044,-0.8769,0,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,8,0,10,0,0,8,1,26,30,15,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,7,0,2,11,1,4,0,1,5,2,11,3,23,24,3,26,0,4,1,0,4,9,0,2,8,76,16,9,0.0,0.0,0.15114934711082748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241464958496027,0.23697936304892225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746047162629578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441891308729294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791968559828246,0.15911369663255848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989060861322496,0.0,0.13340569179061826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023027413843426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831654582634964,0.11065275166840896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236924947012093,0.0,0.3521080133157489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616639025089905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512295841143726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134190945978251,0.1552394956247554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690796695209629,0.0,0.0,0.14655974218397766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959278722317484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495681309472664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704862476439085,0.0,0.0,0.14642019484969426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925171624425113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342650078091776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812580351812258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318920797163954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043553647619445,0.0,0.09031703709057837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161244939316115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277996683713374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976325520742375,0.0,0.0,0.1493074945725737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974345499972152
mentalhealth,Jewomie,2018/02/26,"Looking for knowledge or advice on helping a loved one. My SO has, over the last 2 ish years, has gone from the occasional anxiety attack, to bouts of some kind of anxiety or depression or something of that nature (she will only tell me she feels ""bleh"" but it will sometimes go on for 2 or 3 days at a time.)

This past weekend was a bad one. All day Friday she was in a bad place at work went to bed as soon as she got home, Saturday wasn't much better until late in the evening. She mentioned feeling better. She decided she wanted to call our doctor and see about an appointment to get this checked out. I was relieved. 

Anyway... that is probably way too much information. But the reason I am posting this is, as the husband who is not dealing with these issues myself and can't truly comprehend what she feels or what is going on, what do I do for her? Or maybe the better way to ask this, if any of you have partners going through or dealing with depression or anxiety, what do you do for them? 

I know I can't fix things or make it better. There isn't some magic fix I can do, but I want to everything I can.

Any tips or things you folks do to help them get through bad days?

Thank you",3.7360361239931663,4.6800192987551865,4.774508176714672,86.0815670002441,71.78008298755186,7.828264583841835,27.03954112765438,8.124751697461798,1.5751399072492065,925,31,194,13,17,303,135,241,0.16899999999999998,0.764,0.066,-0.9819,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,1,4,2,5,7,14,1,0,11,0,25,2,0,2,1,34,45,21,0,3,15,1,3,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,16,5,0,0,8,1,1,5,5,6,0,2,7,5,27,8,34,36,5,30,0,2,2,1,29,10,0,13,12,143,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080370474076334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036792290600873,0.0,0.25373216665478143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335780967570506,0.12577690733521213,0.0,0.0,0.27693662583782913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911220653446071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289317565058005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139043689358385,0.2279631010219597,0.1904487366135516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316189687880153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302322557320272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936336668986864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677059690074017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552510586259215,0.0,0.18849980851849946,0.0,0.08842419112476432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821083343835212,0.0,0.110899765511587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539494895456487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513026213042953,0.060760375620668224,0.09012040131414664,0.12471545092176885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284177702320552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978388066780064,0.0,0.07379904030291885,0.0,0.1110714498360226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625472807457497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983537946977665,0.0840851576487482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554114601374556,0.0,0.0,0.1155107008782251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588503140151058,0.0,0.11920138095477223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367314150980755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810126773020645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511377648056334,0.1093457510299462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966335036369588,0.10178794112486664,0.0,0.0,0.14690107205787764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446788505687119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304212124920087,0.1755132934482484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248936910675392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048832251803087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119641874044648
mentalhealth,emokiddo00002,2018/02/26,"Weird feeling that I cant control Idk what it is, maybe I'm depersonalizating, but sometimes I can't control my body, and it just feel like if I'm watching my life fall apart. 
For exmple, I was doing an exam and I say I didn't knew a thing while I did, and   then I kept having this weird feeling that was telling me to answer ""I don't know"" to every answer and I didn't really controlled it. 
",1.8631497418244443,3.381406192771088,3.8198278829604138,88.7951807228916,77.43373493975903,5.7067125645438885,22.70051635111876,6.18269132825596,0.34052633390705633,306,9,67,2,7,104,53,83,0.051,0.847,0.103,0.4089,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,2,0,11,2,1,3,0,18,19,8,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,4,0,4,7,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,7,5,12,1,3,12,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,45,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403857059647283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7281756835372107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823370206702656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282742675881332,0.1546052651977285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893475183566304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528586792937223,0.10572830632209404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21741562963249766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386395073883716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210005305008874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21403767883566324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915422521125524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377497152645471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Project_Tuatara,2018/02/26,"Questioning my various impairments and what comes with them. Is it all in my head? Hello everyone, 

To start this out I have no idea where to post this...Hopefully, this is alright. 
I have official Diagnossases of Anxiety, Depression, Chronic pain, ADHD, and Hypermobility spectrum disorder. Along with these comes the label of disability and related accommodations. I have a Disabled parking permit and my Service dog in training. Thing is, I don't feel like I qualify for these things. Yes they all help me out so much and make life easier but should I even have them in the first place? 

In my head, I keep wondering if I'm just exaggerating minor problems or that its all in my head, and that I've given those around me a false sense of my wellbeing and issues. This is why I don't feel like I should have the accommodations that I do.

Parking Placard: I can walk, haven't used braces for a week or so. Maybe I don't need them? Maybe using them was making me feel like I needed them because having extra support and then taking it away would make my joints feel weird/painful? Yes, there have been times where I couldn't walk and had to use a cane or my dog etc....people get sore though maybe it's just that. I don't know....but I feel like I shouldn't have requested the placard like it was a lie of me to ask.

Service dog: I was rejected by the organization that I originally applied to for not meeting their qualifications (Aka functional enough it wasn't worth it). I was accepted by a self-train organization where you work with trainers and train your own dog. The interview was a lot easier with this one and I was accepted, But its a for-profit organization. Maybe they are laxer with there criteria? ""What does/can she be trained to do for me?"" This question keeps running through my head. She knows deep pressure therapy and is learning to alert to anxiety. But is that enough? If she gets big enough she will help with stairs, but everything else she could learn feels like I'm just fishing for tasks to make sure she meets ADA requirements. Waking me up, medication reminding, tactile stimulation etc....I mean I can get up just not consistently or in time for anything (Chronically very late to everything, have to take evening classes due to this)  I can take my meds but frequently forget for several days at a time (Alarms don't work) Tactile stimulation is so easy, any dog can learn it, how can it possibly qualify as a task. 

She has over 300 hours training under her belt and works very well and I know she only technically needs 1 task (DPT) but I feel like a faker and liar because it seems like her tasks are so minimal compared to a dog who does a million different things for there handler or a diabetic alert dog who is always working. 

Overall I keep feeling like maybe I am a functional person under all of it and just lying to myself, maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to do anything and exaggerate my physical symptoms and pain to make myself seem disabled enough to my mind's eye.

I feel very turned around and confused

TL;DR: I am diagnosed with many issues mental and physical but I'm feeling like I was wrong in getting the accommodations that I have. I question if I'm lying to myself and others around me exaggerating issues to make myself seem disabled. I also worry that my service dog only does minimal tasking and that maybe I don't actually qualify for her. ",4.8752140484100615,6.573925970542637,5.73437114380636,77.39521594684385,69.91472868217055,9.11026736275906,29.907451352634077,9.555129878548652,2.8176654010441387,2701,108,501,62,49,885,274,645,0.147,0.782,0.071,-0.9928,1,1,0,0,0,0,82.0,0,2,8,6,25,26,1,3,22,3,57,16,6,14,5,125,109,47,0,14,23,0,10,10,0,5,10,0,0,1,38,38,0,4,26,0,1,5,14,10,1,3,11,11,79,16,64,90,13,45,0,2,1,0,35,26,0,17,23,340,117,16,0.0,0.0,0.051872793490589215,0.0,0.06388343510296092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04250900226495572,0.044230225321439255,0.0,0.0,0.03614804588708171,0.0,0.08132871094676085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748606393960823,0.14196089112418014,0.049693881178115885,0.0,0.04994200948138381,0.0,0.0,0.06480706498311019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915787370018938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042440908657058296,0.0,0.0,0.03428135821482426,0.0,0.04578336614084001,0.053952434642915784,0.0,0.05553692616217148,0.06092162237496395,0.0,0.09303471589704244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044405192946720635,0.0,0.0,0.2196982996422423,0.1185664516472198,0.07021835130336483,0.0,0.0,0.05079303701194874,0.09554674877953692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687737715180304,0.3037984587390736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045214645425083064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111087704002968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821442981603315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125897471418871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234815975668195,0.0,0.0,0.0600068913636221,0.0,0.16644381977216405,0.0,0.14174304659453416,0.0,0.0,0.08763978926909025,0.0,0.059962520670930115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03754580343280367,0.2596943938541293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519150921170629,0.0,0.0,0.21289309930496367,0.05389205416480752,0.3738179063029085,0.05790269642021203,0.059044566562456824,0.053549289677268734,0.053568957625322614,0.0,0.05367261938803648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907593088780318,0.11824396945095385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036020023871496554,0.08085538666406597,0.16968586702271907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03685182331145885,0.046413952604733896,0.05553692616217148,0.0,0.0,0.05992564037678885,0.05090895584491635,0.0,0.0,0.05086331446519527,0.0,0.0,0.17864136310888912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517425266555956,0.055453520402731916,0.060051387456460124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037624239326038325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032103765061235,0.05009909923927627,0.05524965577179732,0.11990056458272233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060788759220498964,0.0,0.10594387268877,0.0,0.052225706845009434,0.0,0.09298744129366836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781869274265807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772969632993978,0.0,0.13157832168599454,0.031352910133345825,0.0,0.04263870566262106,0.0,0.0477938169683206,0.0,0.04796521198091147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057645642704149715,0.1547934170813633,0.053982711941419216,0.0,0.037760646753423145,0.058117971488310674,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Eraser123,2018/02/26,"Something is wrong with me, but I don't know what. Ever since I was young, I have always thought there was something wrong with me. I talk to myself constantly, worry about absolutely everything, have constant thoughts of suicide, hold a strong belief that absolutely everyone is out to get me and that everyone knows something that I don't, worry about supernatural irrational things that don't even exist e.g I feel like some people are draining me of life or certain abilities and then due to psychosomatics, I end up losing that ability or feeling weary and weak. My brain never shuts off. I notice every little movement, every tiny detail and it drives me insane. I just want my brain to turn off.

I was diagnosed with depression a few years back and I hoped that this was what was causing all of my symptoms though it seemed that depression was just a symptom in of itself of whatever was actually making my brain extremely overactive. I looked at OCD and although some symptoms match, I don't think it's what I have. There's something wrong with me, I know it. I just want to be cured. I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm so paranoid of absolutely everything and I just want everything to stop. Someone please tell me what is wrong with me",4.6078085106383,6.851896025531918,5.110797872340427,79.34875000000002,71.72340425531914,8.274468085106383,29.1968085106383,8.982922981607832,2.6047489361702127,1006,41,178,21,20,321,122,235,0.226,0.652,0.121,-0.9886,0,0,4,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,0,2,13,13,0,0,3,0,20,9,3,2,4,45,39,14,1,5,7,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,19,13,0,2,10,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,9,3,31,5,26,29,4,21,1,3,1,0,2,8,0,6,13,127,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.09132397239666352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786894833581952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280966095145614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719599160074945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31341032532791074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961360079746051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20226098150388652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120662043893794,0.09498525759859684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288718214356418,0.0,0.0,0.061811002884692275,0.08465161124036771,0.1576962284672939,0.17884604232326362,0.2523203801348118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463723404644793,0.06685605351355674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048893503372901465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294950689446227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542930919560333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661007762562465,0.09144031797788336,0.09379522759639868,0.08263592329327184,0.0,0.07858654972243816,0.1046959712293354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246769650675639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217734545479072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654540699236352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487899857317211,0.0,0.0,0.10272655338196826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519488124052975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741321790301779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792929750034394,0.2881805257037437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823997581208855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023651328579683,0.0,0.0,0.2918071901917617,0.0,0.07521885263502594,0.08179608234470945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217270270834203,0.05996451229127681,0.09194528941602424,0.14858965215932401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179194804690088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22079183378409745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900771238059348,0.0,0.0,0.4092753574115081,0.0,0.060264689892860976
mentalhealth,sweetangelundercover,2018/02/26,"A man has forgotten how to read, what disorder could it be? Recently I had a trip across the China and met that guy, who believes he lost his ability to read. His English isn't great but he seems quite a smart guy. He said that he had that problem for a few years already, and though he asked for help, Chinese doctors can't help him, so he begged me to ""ask western people if they can tell what is wrong with him"". Apparently, the fellow Reddit users are the way more trustworthy than official Chinese medicine, so couldn't refuse the guy's request. Below is his story in his own words, with the symptoms, diagnosis etc

"" I have seen an article,Fast reading,as the name suggesta the set of ordinary reading methods cann't peformance better than fast reading .Although it's not popular nowadays. but the theory may still not be realized.we ordinary people read,usually in the traditional reading method ,that is,word by word.we hear clearly when we every word in our mind.that is ,silent reading,my mind like a announcer to see the words to play out.but all the voices are intenal,the brain deal with the text through the sound and the internal auditory system.This process is probably going through""the eyes see the text image-the inner pronunciation to read out-the inner hearing system to hear-understand"",but the fast reading method  omit the middle step of this process,directly go through""the eyes see the text image-understanding"".we probably have had this experience,sometimes the train quickly pass some billboards. we  often cann't pronounce the ad when we see all the words to understand. that is ,we actually have inadvertently adopted this efficient image way to understand the text.
orinary people read the text in the speed due to their speak speed.that is limit itself,usually only in 600 words / minute.But when we read the text in image way, we human eye can be a text into the film,and omitted the inner pronunciation .so this kind of reading will be more efficient, faster and more convenient. The ancients of the ""take in ten lines at a glance; "" is probably based on the this.
At that time I was eager to be able to achieve this  ability,so the key points of training are on the elimination of the pronunciatiation in the heart which is the person's natural physiological mechanism.
In this kind of desire I am very cruel to do those training,  The first to start, I do not know how to train this ability.so when the brain sounds come out,I just think about some very bad things, so as a  suggest that I cann't pronounce,  but even this made me so uncomfortable, in order to eventually the so-called ""fast reading"" purposes, I still  doing this practice.

a month later, I feel that the heart  always want to pronounce when I see the words , I feel a rea pity that is not come true. But the third year of the third test, I no longer deliberately care about the pronunciation , I found myself  understand the text really faster than before, and seem to have  the step  of the pronunciation "" Reduce "".  But all of this changed,I always forced to suppress my own pronunciation, from that time,I found myself  really make a mistake, I began to suppress the sound out. But this time I follow the brain  natural mechanism, I found that the pronunciation are no longer natuarl in the heart as in the past.The next ten years I was in the major mental hospital , one of the best hospitals in the country is the sixth hospital of Peking University, all the hospitals gave me a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and gave me a medicine, I insist on medicine Four or five years, and do a lot of physical examination, such as brain computers, ECG, brain CT, cerebral vascular patency is not smooth, etc., the results are all normal. The doctor said that life to go with the flow,  in the future study and life I did not engage in learning and reading activities.for many years, I  play at home every day ,and play the game, did not go to work,
I eager to learn some Knowledge, engaged in some mental work, so I went to learn, but the sun and the moon flies, no matter  how many years I feel the reading barrier is still there, no change.when I see the text now ,there is no  sound, or occasionally jump out a little sound , When see a little longer sentence again or twice I still can not understand, short sentences I can understand. This is all my symptoms, hope that the US hospital can see where the problem, and there is a cure method.
this is my ill record""
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mentalhealth,whentigersbreakfree,2018/02/26,"Need help for troubled friend So I'm currently in university in the Netherlands, and a good foreign friend whom I live with has been saying some troubling things of late. We've always had philosophical conversations, but the subject of death, foresight and the matter of free will came up surprisingly often recently. He also suddenly gave me his dad's phone number and today asked for some paper to write a note, which I found disturbing enough to ask what all this death- and ""does life have meaning""-stuff was about. 

He then proceeded to tell me that ever since he was little, he's had dreams that predict the future. The dreams consist of small snippets of future events, some of which he remembers, some of which he forgets. These events have been mundane things, but also quite extreme at times.

Upon first hearing this, I tried to convince him these were just things his mind conjured up based on what he'd experienced during the day. But while he seemed reasonably okay with that explanation, just talking about these visions was apparently so tough that he burst into tears several times.

I should at this point also mention he's told me that he finds it very easy to lose track of what day it is, and feels some days take forever while others fly by in an instant. He also isn't doing too great in uni and his parents (who support him financially) are not supportive at all.  

I am very worried and quite confused by everything he's told me, but I really want to help. I've already offered to help him with his grades, but of course I can't really provide psychological help. Therefore, although I know this is a long shot, I hope some of you may be able to help us identify what is causing this and what he could do to change it. Also, while he is unable to afford professional help, do any Dutchies here know of free mental health services that he could use? 

Thanks in advance for your replies!
",9.936059322033898,8.208394152542375,8.672083333333337,72.29507415254241,59.451977401129945,11.56186440677966,37.94420903954803,10.125756701596842,3.656898870056496,1526,56,274,24,16,469,203,354,0.102,0.7240000000000001,0.174,0.9769,4,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,2,0,5,15,19,0,2,10,1,29,2,0,4,3,54,50,25,2,6,8,2,1,0,2,3,2,2,0,0,31,13,0,0,8,2,2,2,3,6,0,1,13,4,24,15,44,30,9,40,0,1,0,0,52,16,0,11,22,179,55,4,0.0939420998728544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366744322799112,0.37562731663987897,0.07816735263893054,0.0,0.0,0.06388384932541001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564636425960214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744473579358396,0.0,0.09650441411179626,0.09937828538755993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150010245220472,0.0,0.0,0.18175464834592006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220936466337445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706730147486034,0.0,0.0,0.08497600762171434,0.0,0.0,0.08442910194415372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047499948339990924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586137737915332,0.07990710216150597,0.0,0.10300266366155207,0.1451588666566259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879417632061045,0.0,0.10357149675456824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985605923420847,0.10587957406056178,0.0,0.3778044559817792,0.0,0.0,0.0933057019301232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325624258392876,0.0,0.10597078048643406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635408333815003,0.0,0.09415466354775298,0.08295259528678484,0.08313580220199224,0.0,0.10509718029920093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467154125413946,0.0,0.09485474098921523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965687671969623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431158461082037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880564914996397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983797355284125,0.0,0.0,0.12036342940699316,0.09658812470393402,0.0927564903650704,0.0,0.10641808623803148,0.0,0.0,0.07470652837869059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552135950572436,0.0,0.10612783330070147,0.0,0.0777098757856992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754122890394002,0.0,0.2132087633429308,0.0,0.0,0.07063276786580587,0.07550710141430271,0.08210953595453632,0.08648926404375888,0.0,0.0,0.1872328706492688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095567877964333,0.0,0.08904612631804336,0.17953140445751872,0.0,0.0637805192922786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300077936136688,0.08113581202020803,0.0,0.15502414161540007,0.05540948446088979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954027624789277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Elelene,2018/02/26,"I've been off from medication for 3 months and my doctor just gave me one new med. I think I'm about to stop the treatment. (Not sure if I can post this here because I don't want to set a bad example) So, I have stopped taking meds because they caused me some undesirable side effects. Im so-so now about it but the doctor says is about time to take a new one. I have been diagnosed with a epileptic disorder associated to anxiety and depression. It is not thaaaaat bad... I think. It could be worse. I've been taking meds for 6 years. I've gone and come with different doctors. This last one seems to care for me enough but I've told him that I don't want to take more meds. For one reason or another, my body has been resistant to treatment or those meds that they give me only make it worse or didn't help that much. I've developed side effects that have affected other organs in my body (I guess is for the long time medicated). I'm afraid of that things keep happening again. I don't want to feel worse anymore.

I'm insecure or compliant enough to always follow the treatment but now I'm just tired. I think there is a limit in how I can improve. And I'm tired to have been told one time and another that everything will change. I think there is a limit to that too. And I'm fine with that. It's not that I expect a miracle.

This months without meds have been better for me in some things. Worse in others but I think I can manage... in more months or something like that. I mean, I been bad for years and it is not like I can expect to be cured in 2 months, right?

My concern here is: I don't feel sure to stop the treatment but neither to follow it anymore. I'm really tired. I don't think my doctor will understand nor does my family and that make me anxious. I'm not sure about their feelings. I tend to be paranoid so I just feel like they are going to hate on me for not being compliant anymore but I don't want to do as they say. I am the one dealing with the symptoms and I will not lie if I say that I feel alone sometimes. I just want they to accompany me but not tell me what to do anymore. I'm an adult after all and I will deal with the consecuences of my actions. Problem is, they say that I am ill and that I must do this to heal and be well, besides that some of them seem to believe that sometimes I can not take proper care of myself. I do not know what impression I give them, but I think I can decide for myself. Although that decision ends up being bad for me. However, I wonder where the limit is? Is it true that I can not think well?

It pains me to think that maybe they are in the right and maybe Im just a wrong stupid person that is not doing what is suposed to do in order to be ok.

I don't know what Im going to do. Maybe I will talk about this with a person that I trust (a friend) and hear their opinion. Later, maybe I will talk with the doctor before talking with my family because they will not be pleased to learn this.

I want to know if you have been in a similiar spot as me and how have you solved it. Thank you very much in advance and thank you for read this enourmous quantity of information.",1.7799742430613958,3.498240900914638,3.2832296047098417,91.66841463414637,78.25304878048779,6.536333052985702,21.981076534903284,7.438213257848477,0.6368518502943648,2445,70,549,33,58,804,227,656,0.168,0.7440000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9944,2,1,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,4,12,7,25,31,2,2,22,1,71,17,2,9,6,123,136,40,0,14,35,0,5,3,1,8,15,5,0,3,47,25,0,7,29,1,0,8,24,12,2,6,13,10,82,19,74,106,11,51,0,1,0,0,39,18,0,16,25,380,129,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519949506154303,0.0,0.0,0.04177274337928469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528400625679103,0.03840499734126737,0.056714863638118986,0.19915071323803796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766893246881054,0.09180946541748244,0.0,0.0427188771273397,0.05656135342769026,0.0,0.04440028853369932,0.0,0.1115279657306681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102370181563595,0.05157209486524884,0.053107895723979504,0.04324525877923598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04008284319672258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351374527022876,0.04323958991712658,0.0509547756233952,0.0,0.05245123098032594,0.0575367473085314,0.2569234168884149,0.04393280029988949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444647714283105,0.103745805330231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04511903103009902,0.0,0.0946534459478442,0.0,0.12692019657497686,0.03586488358272673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03878655142693853,0.0,0.0,0.0963181824006506,0.05706280555931208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055304033676977726,0.0,0.04439416186483108,0.0,0.0,0.04956486212854519,0.0,0.0,0.0565821935504189,0.0,0.0336498722601339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626828858303809,0.0,0.0,0.04462254689834951,0.0,0.0,0.08277042226998918,0.0409219747558388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357964283023304,0.0,0.0,0.04442788982577351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702150501425058,0.0,0.2017418031879377,0.05468555633510927,0.3345838971920043,0.10114805970691072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028555374099798,0.0,0.07380965488736294,0.0,0.0,0.09697233584669193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20411226071286573,0.038181484419362664,0.05341930867951559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767028055070923,0.0,0.055107588382433854,0.0,0.0,0.048080395990798136,0.0,0.0,0.048037290498372784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050216376114037176,0.0,0.03216119312684045,0.051616829923626095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574581761153917,0.0,0.15969309607479562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140547001974172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038648560833305715,0.09930368702437826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259153424355318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194660783524393,0.05217992166163364,0.18873125330570628,0.12105330413054315,0.04387945169723893,0.09243996911733107,0.0,0.0,0.06670500657673474,0.2895112896227091,0.0,0.0,0.08782095262747606,0.17310216774224385,0.0,0.09594183548172806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052262875434008205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04142255984545644,0.17766543936992252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027667559117887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048393698576253,0.05444278481771984,0.0,0.0,0.2046437299612848,0.0,0.054888870474033284,0.0,0.06465790227113277
mentalhealth,MustardNZ,2018/02/26,"Have you ever considered Childhood Emotional Neglect? Alexithymia? I think this isn't an uncommon issue but I see very few views online when there's a video about it. After relentless research I think I finally found out the source of my personal torment. I didn't know I had positive emotions; real, tangible positive emotions, until recently when a very, very specific set of conditions allowed me to for a glimpse. After a lot of research and memories from my childhood I've managed to pinpoint the exact reason which, by the title sounds obvious, is incredibly deceptively not. 

Please watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4OV3Q1Sd3w

and this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPjo2uOArRc

and maybe this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O2U8dX9Lqk",11.510701754385964,15.07935849122807,8.085087719298247,59.657280701754416,56.192982456140356,11.733333333333334,40.73684210526316,11.429527900616536,6.01462105263158,644,32,73,19,9,181,82,114,0.123,0.853,0.024,-0.9181,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,8,0,5,0,0,2,3,18,10,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,4,10,0,13,7,2,12,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,10,54,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975739664740107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017912384976013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398263678070649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415923248532208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184825658361126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731861340638917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054720182136874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790080091937646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999408512756699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461954716711027,0.0,0.1943808165695325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155596607764725,0.0,0.18206787565545784,0.17484527425902555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110994422378553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269316059117026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383289802821456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Needhelp2feelbetter,2018/02/26,"Feeling like nothing exist or I've been in a coma since high school I've been having some problems lately that seem to be some form of depersonalization/derealization disorder. I start feeling super self aware to the point my mind honestly doesn't seem to want to accept that it or anything else exist. I've had a few brief episodes of this since I was pretty young, I was maybe around 8 when it started. They would last for a couple of minutes at the most but would feel very intense. Now for probably the past 2 weeks I've felt this feeling but instead of brief intense episodes, it's just been consistent with the intensity varying from mild to medium. On top of this, over the past few days I have started to feel sort of like I have been in a coma since high school, and all the events that has happened since then have been dreams and that I will eventually wake up in the morning and head off to school like the past 5 or more years never happened. Since this started i havent been able to enjoy anything, everything seems pointless, boring, or in some way scary. It gives me constant anxiety and I already feel like it may start effecting my relationships with the people in my life. If anyone has any experience with this, some advice or comforting conversation would be greatly appreciated.",7.428816326530613,7.611858146938777,7.032551020408164,75.81209183673471,63.44897959183673,9.612244897959183,33.826530612244895,9.23628265651192,2.8963061224489786,1046,40,190,16,14,328,136,245,0.055,0.7659999999999999,0.179,0.9822,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,3,5,12,0,0,13,0,24,5,2,1,2,44,43,14,0,6,9,0,7,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,14,8,0,0,12,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,10,7,13,10,31,26,10,38,0,0,0,0,5,15,0,16,24,123,27,3,0.09283166953949906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071403308063036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244205574253404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312871862044972,0.0,0.0710159731062636,0.0,0.0,0.06491006178584438,0.0,0.15278510852029,0.08263986734701442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003180557174056,0.0,0.0,0.10271647665888174,0.0,0.05986874708056863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639313585094266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754894800059181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834311187614952,0.09080718581042388,0.0,0.0,0.28163088839248873,0.13263792653532552,0.08913296070771982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905259633567092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234724339188056,0.0,0.0,0.16418147758496462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952720748848366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961635113616228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567020075257593,0.10471816670346837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556975355437478,0.1814114585129969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326188947687424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373352290063144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159750643975782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907449060712208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658549980934252,0.0643577910614252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775593356214023,0.0,0.0,0.09444318150929724,0.10008824079011266,0.08882737055848046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966647180293106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818518168608296,0.0,0.2535313963052529,0.09684367716453758,0.0,0.0,0.38395658169538616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32853366751019186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659584948900959,0.054754523880018925,0.07368545832191009,0.07446396578459939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783486371042905,0.0,0.0,0.05978055157759656
mentalhealth,supaTROopa3,2018/02/26,"Poor work performance Not really a mental health issue in my opinion but here goes anyway. I work as an electrician, installing lights, working off a ladder, carrying heavy material etc. Construction stuff.

This past year in particular has worried me. I am nearing the end of my apprenticeship and will be licensed by this time next year. There is a lot I still don't know, lower term apprentices often out perform me, Journeymen notice this and so do foremen. It gets worse every week really. I am making stupider and stupider mistakes, constantly doubting what I install or how long I take to install something. Constantly worrying if I forgot something important about the installation, forgetting to grab material. Doing things one way and when asked why I did it that way forgetting all justification for why I did and I'm basically left with just saying ""I don't know, I shouldn't have done it that way"".

Often we work in groups and these things get in the way there too, slowing the group down. I'm nervous all the time about my ability and usually when you make a mistake, the mistake will not present itself for months down the road so I am always thinking back if I missed something or made a mistake months ago. This has already happened on this job site a lot for me, you can start to feel others faith in you fail through, ""seriously?"", kind of looks. I almost always have to re do things because I always miss something, even just one small thing.

I could take a break I guess but obviously I need to work too. The job is slowing down and I can feel as we run out of work I might be one of the first to go as in the past with this company the slow ones always go first. 

All these things were fine early on in the apprenticeship because ""You're still learning"" but now I'm afraid I didn't and I have just a year to improve competency. No one wants an incompetent journeyman, in construction and electrical you are a liability and a hazard if you are.

I don't even know what my question is, just wondering if anyone can relate. My work ethic is alright, was better when I was younger but I feel that in general is declining too.

25 years old.",4.6969852941176455,6.536529580882353,5.462892156862747,78.60551470588237,70.59313725490195,8.825490196078432,29.90686274509804,9.354420925462401,2.775648039215686,1711,70,313,38,32,556,204,408,0.141,0.804,0.056,-0.9888,6,0,4,0,0,0,45.0,2,5,0,14,27,18,2,3,24,1,38,1,0,5,4,73,68,30,0,12,16,0,4,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,24,17,0,1,11,0,1,3,8,13,0,7,9,7,40,5,41,52,7,65,1,3,1,0,12,22,0,17,35,229,64,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844368701481687,0.0,0.07731656050710678,0.0,0.08520524711942992,0.0,0.256985930814328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398835287824072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721826998253192,0.0,0.0,0.05937118194005533,0.0,0.09413531016965253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828764736406955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687725887549326,0.0,0.06164741608581236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901457690185246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838682206120875,0.0,0.08611167396976678,0.10199545807646987,0.0,0.06505435241626141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712196357254108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135279841512085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068005760698534,0.0,0.0877625995759291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850576082783268,0.0,0.06827822454685355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207263474909217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805891590377161,0.15324178537658115,0.0,0.0,0.08040430789164184,0.12730091616089828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389095081269345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833009815351711,0.06483854624185703,0.0,0.0,0.1312855855387796,0.0,0.07305976280471392,0.10307908014491092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781143063397389,0.0819096198535915,0.0,0.0,0.1232595973234764,0.0,0.0,0.0572516424603674,0.0,0.0,0.08211572723793012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879062552374581,0.08102089630658413,0.0,0.26160389460202405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741498268652067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649499417883658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892783527235492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140199867707673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377659587784374,0.0,0.0,0.05465097732441519,0.0,0.1233230396064499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883891480195518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610747315335215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25648076380588786,0.04947426521205631,0.0,0.0,0.09004575484008429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503799491772522,0.0,0.04554157669218534,0.2451488361852547,0.06193472554002283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393434530125065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373300746297238,0.3934782586235188,0.15682485647911612,0.07868551831739502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198887717868788
mentalhealth,genebytrash,2018/02/26,"A concern There is something wrong in my brain and I don't know what. And I'm scared that if I tell my family or people I know they won't understand and try to put m into a mental hospital. Just please listen and understand...

If you haven't heard of the Kid who shot himself at Jackson Middle school you should. From recent events like stricter school rules to prevent shootings I've gotten weird about them. Heres an example: When my school said limit hallway time for safety reasons, I thought that ""a shooter wants a large amount of people dead right? So wouldn't they just shoot kids at mod change?"". It would sound as if when I presented that idea to you, you'd think I would be planning a school shooting, but I'm not. And from all the events happening in my life I keep going into logic of things. Like too much logic. Like saying ""Wouldn't it make sense for this to be this?"" And then thinking that people would call me crazy if I said it. My question is what tf is going on in my brain? If you cant understand just message me please and I'll go into better detail...",3.1563603322949088,4.9826668271028085,3.6036760124610616,90.40142263759087,74.65420560747663,6.250882658359295,22.63655244029076,6.937597516519254,0.6019343717549326,847,23,172,8,18,264,127,214,0.053,0.841,0.106,0.8758,0,0,1,4,0,0,27.0,0,5,3,3,10,7,0,1,8,0,16,3,2,2,1,46,38,19,1,12,11,0,0,3,0,7,1,6,0,2,13,10,0,3,13,0,0,4,7,3,0,0,5,6,25,4,22,23,3,23,0,0,0,0,21,11,0,7,11,110,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082023106350768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451455640976106,0.1164026994442908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059269196244958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746531843116144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19435972484464803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080631916808212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868765028939874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132491561443853,0.0,0.0,0.12529848152001236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051877229761398,0.16707811675782336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609323998685504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488119328631435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380020385243296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23709149614639224,0.0,0.0,0.2502668328316264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459750324569755,0.12770165081914114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720691219643688,0.11255733409456753,0.0,0.0,0.09735199285657087,0.21687267230613505,0.0906542242022137,0.11412991994986245,0.461480302187731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775971873535171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963756104192736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573390171839575,0.146088115286317,0.0,0.09050012001082706,0.06647200599007604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739582632386248,0.0,0.0,0.35602168485689883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723781624256785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24293854224142844,0.12463677121843035,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yugi467,2018/02/26,"I have a low self esteem, does that mean I tend to be over dramatic? Honestly, I don't know what to say. I'm 18, I suffer from depression, social anxiety, and a low self-esteem. Whenever I fail to understand something in class I cry about it and hate myself for it. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts. I think I'm stupid when I can't do things right. When people yell at me, I easily break down because I can't even take criticism properly. I even ask myself if I even deserve happiness. I don't know if I'm being so stupid that I make a big deal out of everything. I don't know if i'm just some angsty teenager that doesn't know to behave like a normal person. So is it me or do I overreact to everything? Edit: I have some friends and I'm not depressed all the time.",1.9762232142857168,3.6964993187500044,4.059642857142858,86.31250000000004,77.6875,8.071428571428571,24.55357142857143,8.841846274778883,1.8152946428571428,601,21,128,14,14,206,91,160,0.226,0.653,0.12,-0.9542,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,9,13,3,0,5,0,14,0,0,1,1,23,32,11,1,4,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,8,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,1,2,22,4,14,29,3,13,0,6,0,0,7,9,0,6,4,82,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157464982891272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857031748170496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968771807648454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174568002542401,0.0,0.16384127333586265,0.2737580193644129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907343268380912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148988114489533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856571164091698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278249535859895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917508296322872,0.0,0.15690225684825854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493567955665463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764110515907538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060814551125984,0.0,0.0,0.173112298461125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570950364146005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110176282458981,0.13876428064352625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571824595877813,0.0,0.12638089818669615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315799424956266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200063877013754,0.0,0.12234567308905105,0.15717760464126004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173834523339487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948932493614844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558050225,0.1018305952467437,0.0,0.12616606179828546,0.09266850933011588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544307303243144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mkultratide,2018/02/26,"distorted reflection lately a lot of the time when i look in the mirror my face has been getting really distorted, and i mean literally—it’s not like a low self esteem thing. everything gets really warped and my eyes bug out and various features kind of lose their right place. it’s like looking in a fun house mirror or your reflection in a spoon or something. it’s a little scary. has anyone else experienced this? do you know what it could be?

",4.2648338870431886,6.199147709302328,5.392126245847177,78.28593023255816,71.90697674418605,9.565448504983387,26.239202657807308,9.957137785484203,2.7294039867109645,357,12,66,10,7,118,62,86,0.18,0.7609999999999999,0.058,-0.8679,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,1,1,6,0,0,7,0,6,2,2,0,0,13,12,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,7,4,6,9,2,11,0,2,3,0,4,8,0,3,5,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698614190880316,0.21538853600012856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678383459768837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756063753767556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892630702381666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21965571765776748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425581139423972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189049744950301,0.11552782239375595,0.0,0.23712994392592665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20539936067885115,0.21068911623521872,0.0,0.0,0.3530527327092129,0.23517509597197775,0.0,0.17871596999915926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289840887549841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962832848417302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693362560415068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952114988106696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192984890638534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183259487888307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965648491137644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257716149499635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ArbitraryWordsofMe,2018/02/26,"I'm a psychopath. I'm doing an experiment, I've gone a little deep. I want to brag. DM me. It's probably interesting to some people.",-1.303928571428571,0.5452050357142895,3.4511428571428597,80.29385714285716,105.78571428571428,6.525714285714287,19.88571428571429,7.554174236665415,1.5348914285714286,103,4,21,3,5,40,22,28,0.0,0.836,0.16399999999999998,0.4062,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4920346524618033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5041423789058457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487197965172783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5423236314743635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966849251804918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,twentyonepilotssss,2018/02/26,"Aspergers or Social Anxiety? I honestly do not know whether I have aspergers or social anxiety. Well, I know for a fact that I have social anxiety, but I don't know about the aspergers. The only symptoms that I show of aspergers are stimming, being socially awkward, and obsessing over certain things. Does that necessarily mean aspergers? Can the stimming just be from anxiety? Also, can being awkward be from social anxiety? Honestly, I think I'm getting better with the whole obsession thing, but not completely. I'm just really curious about this.",5.860830409356723,8.876757305263162,7.282456140350881,61.65163742690064,70.6842105263158,12.222222222222225,37.92397660818713,11.429527900616536,6.244309941520468,444,26,60,19,9,151,54,95,0.181,0.654,0.165,0.6428,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,0,4,5,0,11,1,0,0,2,18,19,7,0,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,7,5,8,15,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845106776879526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5187245684725971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994022707536492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218948675668114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186773829189434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085311036009505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22359096235718112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772422119728934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314112954146863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687828241747056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6912108038689154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095565275709826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801928298237274,0.08689645686993004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193394826473784,0.0,0.0,0.151409026954513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayjoe1297,2018/02/26,"I (23 F) am worried that I am very selfish and self centred and I don't want to be. How can I stop this? Hi everyone,

I am a 23 year old female and I am slowly realising that I am very self absorbed- especially when I am stressed or suffering from anxiety. 

I think it is stopping me from making meaningful connections with friends and it is causing huge fights in my family.

My mum calls me a narcissist and selfish because I often talk mainly about myself and am really, really bad at remembering to do chores. I am deathly scared of being a narcissist and really really dont want to be one. 

The thing is that my relationship with my parents is complicated because when I was a teenager, they were quite controlling and expect me to just do as they wish. I feel resentment towards them, though I do love them. I just feel terribly guilty that I don't seem to care about the small things in their lives like how their days went or what's going on with work. I feel stifled by them and really want to move out but my city is waaayyyy too expensive to move out in as a single student (even though I have a part time job as well).

With my friends, I am less self centred though I do struggle with empathy. I really want to get better but I am deathly scared that there is no cure.

I want to be a loving and kind and helpful person, but I feel like I can't. Just like I feel like I can't please my parents because I don't care enough.

I have anxiety and sometimes this makes me very self focused because I can't stop obsessing over certain thoughts. 

Has anyone experienced this and got better? Is it genuine or is it faked?

I am feeling absolutely terrible and hopeless right now. Thankyou for your help.",5.41,5.869395000000001,6.277976190476188,78.55035714285714,67.75,9.852380952380953,32.66666666666667,9.842372674337009,3.072402380952381,1344,56,263,29,21,445,164,336,0.18,0.654,0.166,0.8488,3,0,0,0,1,1,30.0,0,1,7,5,18,30,2,5,9,0,40,2,0,6,1,59,65,30,2,7,9,3,6,4,2,0,0,0,1,5,15,21,0,4,11,0,1,4,8,15,1,1,5,7,51,15,33,56,5,26,0,2,0,2,27,12,0,5,14,191,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450845505304135,0.0,0.0,0.05690164590337862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794753673779128,0.1984299872366409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394510381335018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309641070505046,0.0,0.16594133618499993,0.0835979989591261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091272757620822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248231404087753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537483930484164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840856062631508,0.0,0.05374964348615362,0.0,0.0,0.07776051645463299,0.0,0.0,0.07671628131939176,0.0,0.2468840830815253,0.1162734423820463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574544797101886,0.0,0.04251683765728609,0.0,0.04624920097018022,0.0,0.06508571363700089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090924071836742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075547172892295,0.0,0.0,0.08474304572830159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902943690269564,0.0,0.07185858842071126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689430573517054,0.0,0.10864138292345768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298464943471642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539290618495042,0.0,0.05514408713731527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807220907350026,0.08812484050893088,0.0,0.0,0.07105645059963496,0.0,0.08932900880353692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655590968984607,0.0,0.0,0.3127983918318834,0.0,0.0,0.08736991047212699,0.09218582532663344,0.06949668023151265,0.0,0.0,0.1629478826034812,0.0,0.0,0.0740838083806229,0.3395815363219623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048528517401057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410787448846834,0.0932186437218281,0.08507433766191352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540884832611947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812834120740664,0.05214397125200845,0.2398614953180008,0.06460533284174524,0.047452379854673966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20143702464827715,0.23999534461299676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316892451066738,0.0754385609149314,0.0,0.0,0.09358110517442372,0.0,0.0,0.05924441992508064,0.08264368124313877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524049998442443
mentalhealth,asobbingmess,2018/02/26,"How to get help without asking for help? Before starting, I have asked for help before. I went to my school therapist and told them how I felt and how I was doing. Their immediate response was to call my parents. My mom is already dealing with a lot of issues already (family, money, our future and housing problems) so the call triggered her to yell at me. I got defensive and told her someone probably reported me to whoever called. The lie wasn't that out of place considering I've been reported to my school for suicidal thoughts and depression before already. Asking my mom for help is completely out of the question since my whole personality is built on acting fine and pretending to be someone I'm not. If I ever asked for help, I'd recieve the same lecture I get from her every time. The ""I've been through so much more than you, you don't have the right to have issues"" talk. I've been considering suicide the past few days and I really think it's the right thing to do. Logically, I know that it isn't a good choice and it's my brain that's being a dumb useless slab of meat but on the other hand, life just doesn't feel worth it anymore considering that I've been in a gray spot for so long and I can't get the help that I need.

I've had a few friends get dragged to hospitals on 5150's (mandatory 72 hour hold in a mental facility) and get evaluated and medicated there. A few of them got better and went on medication. This would be my last resort but I just need to know if there are other ways to get help without asking directly for help. I don't know if getting therapy would be a finanical burden 

TL;DR - Asked for help in the past, didn't work out. Is there any way to get help without directly asking someone for help? ",4.8177433905525655,5.58803530259366,5.9705701039969945,79.12807918807167,69.17291066282421,9.262448314747523,30.36073173787745,9.43228470229965,2.6172797644405468,1378,53,273,28,23,461,163,347,0.059,0.807,0.134,0.9779,1,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,1,2,3,2,12,10,2,0,19,0,30,5,2,4,1,50,62,23,2,8,11,3,3,0,1,2,3,1,0,1,13,16,0,2,9,1,2,3,11,6,0,0,17,5,32,4,45,39,8,29,0,2,1,0,40,14,1,5,10,177,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462580082708824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04408687978419902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429431397348141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242535601087552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549762864289774,0.0,0.0,0.0573372004565552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237214191061178,0.1985971914957416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797341729109546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04181023016229316,0.06683727244320899,0.05583830908791993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058642787999150625,0.05462238910027488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06111631008992317,0.0,0.032780186766045404,0.0,0.062247329098456275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008778878760973,0.0,0.2709695714772657,0.0,0.0,0.05437664473609018,0.10370155040498318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779987897190414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384486268845997,0.07480555126694759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353321411626785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068872399323726,0.052845410404771725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579161284440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057372843937009525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511646853903735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061956952835932,0.06533377218701743,0.0,0.0,0.15185710901878,0.0,0.0,0.04765778689358987,0.09614180681070944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198646198370776,0.0,0.12377586194372207,0.0,0.056607384952050324,0.06773394597716273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698981119204321,0.06203391567161716,0.0,0.0,0.07262485985613222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04153199986157828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072957620472514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122360618585666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536283581529027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479170525455605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588727482864488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182782103578176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210820165123672,0.0,0.0,0.07413918662038957,0.07527306500298922,0.04307042206091955,0.04154068812446779,0.0,0.05146807805999249,0.037803114434458496,0.0,0.0,0.12389640776794633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291867200451388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019681878008576,0.0,0.07238080117997364,0.0,0.18748251110990305,0.0,0.04719728689878002,0.0,0.0,0.09210728011091218,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jkyl17,2018/02/27,"Thoughts It’s amazing to meet and even talk to people who have a sense of empathy and understanding; not just superficial socializing like the rest of the wold. If you are reading this, and is one of them, kudos to you! ❤️",2.91,5.0288472727272815,4.522727272727273,82.22909090909094,76.27272727272728,8.036363636363637,26.90909090909091,8.841846274778883,2.1112454545454544,176,7,36,4,4,59,36,44,0.0,0.7929999999999999,0.207,0.8718,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,6,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693201332681908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992098289509244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27630718891373346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826878666671946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40786807239443135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156576529045883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32774021566575395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237140885456649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4244901745329362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Frankzferdinand,2018/02/27,"Suddenly everything went dark Hello. It's a bit difficult to begin typing this because I don't really know how to describe my situation, and I'm not hoping for many replies but at this point I think its worth a shot. 
I am a 22 year old male college student, with a very ordinary life. I wake up everyday at 5 am to go to the gym, come home and leave to school at 8 and then work from 5 to 10 most days. This has become my weekly routine for the past 2-3 years and while it does get tiring, I feel that at this point I have become accustomed to it.

About a month ago, I suddenly started feeling what can only be described as an immense feeling of despair and apathy to my life. Its a feeling that I picture as a dark veil covering my head, and I can't seem to shake off. I used to be rather optimistic about the future and looked forward for my life as an adult, but now it seems that I know how my life is going to be and how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life.
This might be a bit off topic, but If anybody has had bad experiences on mushrooms, when you start having those thoughts looping over and over and you get that feeling of never being able to ""come back,"" is very similar to how I'm feeling. I seem to be very self-conscious about the thoughts inside my head.
for a couple of days, this has gotten to the point where I am trying to read and do homework, but my mind is just anxiously racing and I have to go the car and let out a big scream off the top of my lungs just to calm this feeling down.

my best guess is that I'm developing a mild form of depression or anxiety? I rule out stress from school and work, since I have been attending college and working for 4 years now, yet this seems to be developing pretty recently.

If anybody has suffered from something like this, or has any information, I would really really appreciate your input.
Thank you.",6.719307915457938,5.348023417322839,7.313465948335409,78.3445710733527,65.48293963254594,10.645724547589447,33.43845835060091,9.682069395223575,2.857327559055118,1466,51,306,25,19,487,191,381,0.092,0.7959999999999999,0.112,0.6724,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,4,0,5,16,13,0,2,21,0,32,10,4,5,1,62,71,33,0,5,12,0,8,1,0,2,6,1,2,2,22,20,0,0,18,2,1,11,4,8,0,0,6,10,32,5,56,55,6,57,1,3,1,0,8,21,0,12,28,207,54,11,0.08407607992936626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452837199700267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057174617443598384,0.0,0.06431797101961463,0.09498203901548703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464931575898694,0.07020001488081605,0.05125199795898126,0.1857108495197219,0.0,0.0,0.08823265880394658,0.0,0.18357860753815933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484819650852487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302858328924576,0.0,0.1084442322277782,0.0,0.0724146044452764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357554412489284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556215938358499,0.08224253910578985,0.0,0.0,0.34009113772666205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878525633017302,0.0,0.1911294950315246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926192808632613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257262791435332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433516331369606,0.08350651799310586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241202949947053,0.0,0.0,0.08902442901760506,0.0,0.08597348805647083,0.2969271083959549,0.041075325806652366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060273203884923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523994878582655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919143437231845,0.08489287333242869,0.0,0.06710872486702918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484465596744537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882237027669255,0.0,0.0,0.06394364739954428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026013169932175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384372139717031,0.0,0.0,0.08553559918450833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409883211063718,0.0,0.16158386908145725,0.0,0.08301498591639044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017896299240387,0.0,0.3061588219638708,0.08770968767802839,0.0,0.0,0.06954860213580888,0.09450503649026673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472587391524966,0.0,0.0,0.11901896422242796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630886549566683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774059584213783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053872557175423316,0.0,0.13349403214931074,0.0,0.09663308578781173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057082139373208024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261473850145668,0.0,0.2081147133033808,0.0,0.0,0.06744075992837473,0.0,0.0,0.07793936841672296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836251625895733,0.0,0.0,0.0597252349212429,0.0,0.0,0.16242671679585735
mentalhealth,helpcreepylandlady,2018/02/27,"I'm writing a series of short stories about mental health and could use some advice It all started because I saw a series of sketches by a talented artist called Shawn Cross, who tried to depict different mental illnesses visually.

I thought it would be really interesting to do the same thing, but with a series of short stories from the ""you"" perspective.

I have suffered with depression historically, and in particular I am an ongoing sufferer of generalised anxiety disorder and depersonalisation disorder due to a traumatic experience in my past. I have always found that writing about my experiences has helped me to cope.

I've posted a rough draft of the first short story, ""Insomnia"", on Medium, which you can find here:

https://medium.com/@madisonplantier1990/insomnia-68c0c176b869

 

This short story is primarily based on what a close friend of mine has told me about his ongoing battle with Insomnia and how it affects his relationship with his partner.

I would really appreciate it if members of this community could give me feedback on how they experience their mental health disorders, how it affects their daily lives, the obstacles they have had to face, and the strategies they've developed for coping. I want to thoroughly research the subject through these personal experiences before I try to embark on this project in any depth, as I want to do each mental illness justice and not just make it a stereotypical or ""sensationalist"" piece, so to speak.

I would of course ask for prior consent before using any information provided and no one will be mentioned by name or linked into the stories, unless they would like to be given credit.

Thank you very much for your help!",17.27670925280681,11.68723717421603,15.060603948896635,43.88310878823077,50.080139372822295,18.46984126984127,53.840108401084,15.322241378113626,7.800829190863338,1387,63,199,41,9,443,173,287,0.134,0.754,0.111,-0.8848,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,4,5,1,9,10,1,0,16,0,21,7,1,8,1,48,36,17,0,9,7,0,1,1,2,5,6,1,0,2,15,14,0,0,5,1,1,1,2,4,0,2,6,3,28,6,42,20,6,22,0,3,1,0,29,14,0,4,7,149,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028077916344899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538951069461177,0.11119061522569657,0.0,0.13957260802685148,0.0,0.07850535219635467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593747640843843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255726178472944,0.0,0.1746470889980242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478827298714558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387022210824204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838795652310669,0.0,0.0,0.107217879086226,0.3528402232306879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015350233018707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379441358130176,0.08729000182612176,0.0,0.11251944390299276,0.07928530376389158,0.0,0.0,0.09844412649067867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816422713680605,0.0,0.0,0.13757038177453915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05013579980699117,0.0,0.09061687882798976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685008100523912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41367431857322895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754387886156354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953914865327306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796406519819373,0.0,0.08960534732795171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828326213531367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148423217124328,0.0,0.0,0.11017734643091227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263619759924933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448031291462056,0.0,0.0,0.06817732583123652,0.0,0.0,0.08147020065975895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805947280673892,0.0,0.13934685390646048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726447306506485,0.0,0.08467368505837326,0.12105792523922955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915981663085918,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FluffyLittleSquisheh,2018/02/27,"Should I talk to my therapist about drug use? (British) I’m meant to be starting therapy next month (after about a 3 month wait - big ❤️ to NHS). I suffer from depression and social anxiety. 

I don’t really have a drug problem per se but I do every week or so smoke a few joints or do coke/MD and I always feel so horrible afterwards but can never avoid doing it. Can i talk about this in confidence? ",1.5010975609756088,3.5413370975609766,3.805060975609756,86.03856707317075,80.46341463414635,8.002439024390245,22.445121951219512,8.841846274778883,1.7162390243902443,310,10,65,8,8,107,60,82,0.177,0.741,0.08199999999999999,-0.7748,0,1,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,9,2,0,1,1,14,15,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,7,0,9,12,1,10,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,8,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686131000639685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260263490228652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830717807409983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929885183036285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908525892447522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747329677969644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33931591172189685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393415016812932,0.0,0.22605276554102416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338472983589648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616703830379667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166712448437859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044626625430904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34168446084148063,0.0,0.0,0.24307313632855435,0.2467906760971637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357774080709968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049737562184644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moistclump,2018/02/27,"(Ex?)boyfriends failed suicide attempt I don’t know where else to turn, removed from r/relationships. I’m just lost and desperate for someone who might have some insight.

I met a guy near the end of last year I really hit it off with, and I’d spent every night with him since.

Last week he called and told me to not come home, he can’t explain everything but to forget him, forget anything had ever happened. He left my things at the top of his driveway for me to pick up. I didn’t see him. 

I trusted him. I didn’t understand but I trusted him. I only asked if he was okay, and he said he was. 

There were no signs or talk of depression. That morning we had been hanging out before work, drinking coffee, and talking about the weekend. 

I found out yesterday he had attempted suicide that afternoon. He had left notes. It was planned to work.

I know he said to forget him, move on, and that we never happened. I know he was trying to protect me from coming home and finding him.

He thought it would work though, and it didn’t. He doesn’t have any family, and he has so few friends. 

I don’t know where he is, he was transferred out of town. I don’t know how to try to contact him or if I should try or if I should reach out at all. He asked me to forget him and that we never happened. But he also thought he’d be gone.

Do I try to find him? Do I reach out? Do I tell him I know, and that I want to be here for him?

Or do I do what he asked. Forget we ever happened and do my best to move on, and hope he finds some support and love elsewhere.

TLDR; boyfriend without warning called and told me something happened, to forget about him, and not come home. Learned days later he attempted suicide. He asked me those things when he thought he was going to succeed, now that he’s still alive can I try to reach out while still respecting his wishes?",2.180001611863318,3.9646393244680853,3.1015087040618994,93.12015151515152,77.29787234042553,5.834171502256608,24.69181173436493,6.574015621080383,0.6676464539007099,1430,50,311,12,33,454,170,376,0.104,0.746,0.151,0.966,0,0,2,0,0,3,52.0,4,0,0,12,17,13,0,0,4,1,38,2,0,2,5,85,80,32,3,9,14,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,1,15,31,1,1,17,2,1,9,14,3,0,0,27,3,50,10,43,45,5,48,0,3,1,1,64,19,0,11,20,201,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061658625024445995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243215996521956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344856529088698,0.0,0.2883207059504966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560831840329773,0.0,0.08091403296452045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745999360230065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925023068586048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972455947852538,0.0,0.06640803723502571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553083172288025,0.0,0.0,0.06440901915256643,0.0,0.06828969012697741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948676142329025,0.06496195369250288,0.0,0.06929451223746037,0.0,0.07268511999044464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114101226420873,0.0,0.0,0.08453861492341351,0.05956899120262379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438189738105829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634332913780631,0.3409062342852781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23201946797031314,0.07657991089966176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542402134062382,0.12569721537715806,0.0,0.0,0.16754359576260974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416619140101465,0.0,0.06958777233884947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179328106830022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638949357871072,0.0,0.0,0.11893198508686842,0.0,0.0,0.07235521927829769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863971984630899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939366249271779,0.0,0.0,0.0827789397114029,0.0,0.0,0.14668375285480872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144049440193777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377976094268444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532846879572063,0.05935706309466497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314788005068725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530119744173367,0.08749469626227348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394370288172572,0.06739074694620502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244659047415887,0.0,0.07575254895238444,0.18363167331096453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734896874088355,0.0,0.26173676332207,0.0838650851648476,0.0,0.08026614000001057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547689257178422,0.0,0.06184675771952072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866375874141934,0.0743237977777284,0.0,0.1683940239396206,0.0,0.0,0.054771211620962934,0.0,0.0,0.04965130786149436
mentalhealth,Genderdichotomy,2018/02/27,"Advice on how to go on disability for mental illness Hi everyone. Long time lurker, first time poster. 

I am wondering if anyone has any experience getting disability money for mental illness. I really need some help getting pointed in the right direction. 

Here is my situation: I have incredibly crippling depression and anxiety. It has affected my personal and professional life for as long as I can remember and I currently have no friends and nobody to rely on and am genuinely scared that in the near future I will end up with no job and essentially no options. Furthermore, I believe that I am somewhere on the Autism spectrum or something like that. I have never gotten an official diagnosis but I am certain that there is at least *something* wrong with me besides just anxiety and depression.

I believe that if going on disability is meant for anyone in this world, it is certainly meant for me. I feel that I am legitimately unable to support myself and that it will all unravel soon. How do I start this process as painlessly as possible? Any advice would more than welcome and you would be helping to save my life at this point.

",5.6680459110473445,8.047194082926831,6.841721664275467,67.48895265423242,69.14634146341463,10.482065997130562,35.473457675753224,10.59048541779884,4.650357245337159,917,48,142,29,17,308,119,205,0.121,0.7490000000000001,0.13,0.7178,2,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,6,11,0,1,4,0,21,4,0,3,4,34,33,19,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,4,4,0,0,1,13,11,0,0,5,0,1,2,4,4,0,1,3,1,21,7,28,25,4,29,0,2,0,0,7,16,0,6,12,115,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562098669430204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829877085998924,0.0,0.20057528479868655,0.0,0.0,0.18332994056864893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953993062816278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582459738610355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611163663795696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526729793038244,0.0,0.12823648229419654,0.0,0.0,0.06628578658271868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150970275607032,0.0,0.0,0.10128400126795024,0.0,0.13698389909692113,0.0,0.1490091038773835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757410019337096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300919823812828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519315328776975,0.06404660347071299,0.0,0.0,0.23203065412619875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26422671174762524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720559759794913,0.10110887464389058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446746977732615,0.0,0.0,0.247855103536537,0.14779039585646858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398308706494899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850556262556253,0.11195477788284072,0.0,0.0,0.13124939164417748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735675199676945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018473280265,0.0,0.0,0.09279001757563997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876553636813475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288559479229033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216739781301868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862528592567616,0.14333226910261432,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,XenobladeEmpol,2018/02/27,"Am I just weak or is it my fault? My friends are usually people where we joke around and even at times insult each other for just a bit of friendly banter. This is I guess fine by everyone and no one really gets hurt out of it in the end.

However, I feel once maybe about 3+ people start insulting me at the same time I just somehow can't take it even though I am someone who can be involved with this as well. I know in the long run that people aren't really insulting me and that they are just joking. But I really most of the time take it to heart and it really does affect me mentally. 

Something that happened recently made me think more about this. I was streaming a game and had a really bad performance. I had almost 5+ people who I know either as good friends or in real life consistently insult me over a solid 5 minutes.

At first I just tried to joke along with them and kinda play with them. But like most scenarios ,I would just end up stop talking and stop responding. I won't lie, I'm not in the most happiest state in my life and I have definitely considered some ""darker"" such as self-harming and suicide. I would always end up just leaving either from the voice chat or just something so I can take a break from them. 

Is this just my fault since we all jokingly insult each other and I should just be able to take it without felling like this? I'm really not sure how to feel about this.",3.650345864661656,4.857659778947369,4.7323308270676705,85.30631578947369,72.26315789473685,8.375939849624057,24.799498746867165,8.841846274778883,1.6372656641604006,1107,32,230,21,21,363,148,285,0.14800000000000002,0.728,0.124,-0.8853,1,0,2,0,0,1,23.0,2,0,4,2,23,24,5,0,11,0,21,4,1,3,2,65,37,21,1,3,20,0,2,2,3,4,3,1,0,0,19,20,0,2,5,7,0,2,7,10,1,2,4,3,32,14,35,27,12,31,0,1,0,0,21,14,0,11,15,168,51,0,0.1033553244417056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034954277826846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599990955791269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200815135438184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629737875403813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283724549600332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044694091817708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746264199093245,0.0,0.0,0.13653043405293272,0.0,0.0,0.09876044169917338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451911503550784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791398617102282,0.0,0.0,0.2395562018390827,0.0,0.05399889118708966,0.0,0.0,0.08668954248154814,0.0,0.0,0.11385754225484833,0.0,0.09139677206759952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247655709990607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106440124605107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360276667583018,0.0,0.0,0.10943836525302084,0.0,0.0,0.1460058444665058,0.10098838168625156,0.0,0.0,0.09146620972852317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779730701393932,0.0,0.0,0.10383431530149814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415785760549437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007004737753286,0.07003624269852035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866142732755594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764098657481098,0.3972724044101607,0.0,0.10205091400693743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782214435139187,0.0,0.0,0.08549659242263158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757263099875218,0.15913595647903042,0.0,0.0,0.07315543060677468,0.0,0.0,0.17281935835667986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305394969125905,0.0,0.0974111701262853,0.0,0.3108413650053201,0.08307309475613599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622591859715625,0.10154608150033097,0.0,0.1808019625303816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701714808742397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383128794228704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292884914856356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963084451845053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468413141485217,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ConnectPolicy,2018/02/27,Trying to understand more about mental health and empathy... would you be willing to take this survey? https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfLe0Z0nBRLv8_IjUvofOfQmDl4yMqKQnb10peu6GMhR_RpCw/viewform?usp=sf_link,33.571666666666665,43.956789500000006,18.075555555555557,-18.499999999999968,15.111111111111116,10.266666666666667,31.222222222222214,10.125756701596842,4.738688888888889,193,4,11,3,2,46,17,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871981884745516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619029005633895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446176107395924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111854573219443,0.0,0.0,0.4771522190147056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255943933900776,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wolfflame21,2018/02/27,"Anxiety/Quitting/Stress/Advice would be nice Took me a good bit of time to come to terms with the fact that weed basically made me experience auditory hallucinations and rapid thoughts and made my anxiety worse including when I'm not high. I'm seeing a doctor and all that jazz but weed doesn't help so starting today I'm officially quitting. I know this will be hard and I said I'd quit before but my mental health is important and I have these rapid thoughts and image flashes and it wrecks my day. Does it get better? I hope so and I at least need to try.

I have bad anxiety and stress as I'm in a transition in life (graduation) so maybe I'm just panicked and my mind is racing. Either way I'm not worried I'm suddenly going to go insane anymore but I was. I just need a sounding board for this because I'm scared. I'm having this odd internal dialogue that I'm forcing upon myself and I wish I could stop thinking like this.",2.7139330413016296,4.7616722393617055,4.477196495619527,82.66029411764707,76.6063829787234,7.615018773466834,25.952440550688358,8.4952907291091,1.8927586983729665,743,28,147,15,17,251,113,188,0.182,0.7020000000000001,0.116,-0.9208,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,6,8,0,2,5,0,12,3,0,2,2,37,40,19,0,6,8,0,1,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,10,13,0,1,4,1,0,4,3,3,0,0,7,4,17,5,12,28,5,18,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,9,81,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405303049187814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20988828486465086,0.0,0.13604805534704767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454155415065928,0.08362510334954915,0.0,0.11673209832469693,0.0,0.0,0.12132666388470373,0.14976762506343125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817047027820853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952896489357254,0.0,0.0,0.08847128393871027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041197512160936,0.12004922201018865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419068731633346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167212965541166,0.0,0.15592781171136305,0.11506206871876153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288846385567352,0.0,0.0,0.14581845113578312,0.0,0.0,0.09195045519512364,0.14494071246165552,0.0,0.13625305306387064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539184641952655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689596938939732,0.06702037974103563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596105628898169,0.0,0.0,0.13781813562033193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824756973372304,0.0,0.13851509382612262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203437987681826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918206867471309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049185436844254,0.0,0.13734349039750504,0.0,0.10931659289844706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709839206290588,0.0,0.0,0.11469060925890268,0.3142838972638192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790092759124933,0.0,0.21781496682273035,0.0799921468481842,0.0,0.13003285247701976,0.0,0.152414667732518,0.09313782866217794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888898504220698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775296265969135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931536218671922,0.13980056133126328,0.09745042421297084,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thewebshrink_com,2018/02/27,"What should be the topic of my next WebShrink Blog Post? Hi all.  I'm a therapist working in Philadelphia.  I created a mental health/psychology blog a while back and for the first few months I was posting regularly (fairly weekly).  I generally focus on topics of interest I see come up a lot in either facebook communities I'm a part of or questions/themes I see repeatedly on Reddit.  

I haven't posted in several months as life has been incredibly hectic with a few deaths of loved ones, job stress, and my wife and I buying our first house.  

It seems as though all the dust has settled and I'm looking to get back into posting regularly now that I've come out of the fog.  

What are some general topics you guys would like to see discussed or questions answered in the form of a blog post?  ",2.97176470588235,5.394342254901964,4.661202614379089,79.81141176470591,77.43137254901961,7.478692810457518,25.88627450980392,8.447377352677275,2.029851764705883,627,24,116,13,15,211,98,153,0.02,0.897,0.083,0.8385,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,3,4,4,0,1,12,0,9,2,0,0,2,23,21,10,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,3,3,1,2,1,1,0,3,2,4,11,3,21,16,9,27,0,0,4,1,8,9,0,6,12,80,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992992255877321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326712242051594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046479577706954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770739808448056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831821087931555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775212159287886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953381550400932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286018239626342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153591505891867,0.06331297190018306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088261310620661,0.0,0.0,0.11017599226476828,0.11696344063644368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060004332474034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20688102788342144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378244487672201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781609511759286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033742832816334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6205750619105246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517468571252656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098083777417962,0.11797730456986655,0.0,0.14640407712202952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484492301672292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046835995381047,0.0,0.0,0.12732522488731818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395230845815112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434581086404377,0.0,0.0,0.09205969876173374,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,la_luna_17,2018/02/27,"Attempted suicide and wrote off a brand new car on finance - HELP I suffer with anxiety and depression and I am early into therapy which is helping but I have almost a split personality where I can be extremely angry, irrational, and jealous - due to past traumas in my childhood I am very dysfunctional in relationships and one evening I went through my partners phone and found messages that just sparked extreme rage inside, I jumped in my car in my pyjamas, drove far out and just crashed wanting all that emotion to be over. Now I'm sat at home going through the insurance process and passing it all off as ""I swerved out the way of an animal on a wet road""... I don't think it's processed that I actually attempted and I feel so numb, I've caused a major inconvenience to myself financially which makes me feel worse... any advice? x",7.332222222222223,7.520565095541404,7.673205944798305,71.11997169143667,63.649681528662406,11.054210898796883,39.737438075017685,10.746095033038511,4.447379900920028,668,35,118,16,9,219,110,157,0.227,0.7509999999999999,0.023,-0.9881,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,2,0,7,0,8,1,0,2,2,27,20,12,1,1,3,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,7,13,0,0,4,0,1,7,1,6,0,1,5,3,17,0,21,13,3,30,0,2,0,0,8,16,0,1,6,79,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.1994337844090953,0.0,0.0,0.1997061413134278,0.0,0.0,0.20464513048177166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138977315566439,0.0,0.15634103654132794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994233370710152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602194441507124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988660445499776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349832021090013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666930310383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240790723013219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614710046487793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27396725805678723,0.0,0.2049978666976988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136417293189454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973799837477776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848511313549686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19509247546053324,0.0,0.17844634141451798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21941485596165056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22354553028784266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337127323416044,0.0,0.0,0.13095082597318072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862508503483573,0.12054159992879165,0.16221788462762296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945127547526164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082685527844842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Imokthrowaway,2018/02/27,"I keep being asked to try to remember some sort of abuse, trauma, or very negative experience as an explanation for current issues. I tend to think awful things about myself, like the devil on my shoulder has completely taken over. This is not new, and I've been in ""treatment"" of some sort and on various meds over the last 20 years. But for some reason, my most recent therapists and psychiatrist keep asking me if there has been anyone in the past who said these things to me or abused me, or if I was bullied or had anything traumatic happen, and I genuinely can't think of anything. Every time I say so, they just tell me to REALLY give it some thought. Am I not understanding what they're asking about? Am I purposely forgetting things? I'm just confused about why they don't seem to believe me. What is going on?",6.762222222222222,6.808990770700637,7.147091295116778,74.89194621372968,64.85987261146497,10.544656758669495,31.45718329794763,10.25414643259724,3.085277990092002,649,22,120,14,9,212,101,157,0.193,0.792,0.015,-0.9854,1,0,0,0,2,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,7,4,0,1,4,1,13,1,1,1,0,33,30,13,0,2,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,4,0,2,7,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,7,2,17,1,22,22,6,15,1,0,0,0,10,7,0,15,8,89,26,0,0.0,0.3377912001358796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996725984554592,0.0,0.2346090629486608,0.0,0.39978829904364543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060233449977432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945844972534325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010250360461175,0.0,0.0,0.13943890853184332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674464993217944,0.08101308782902701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605437461406727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878266256325856,0.0,0.2534057185304961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116195322067931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964155849690018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583382519413624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767336330437285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607781671696412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131964465935156,0.14656267721404628,0.14074856094943833,0.0,0.16147864627095188,0.0,0.13559541358140986,0.11335957539407596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976998411103194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459288811318732,0.0,0.0,0.16550875400662754,0.28410688031207193,0.18267749644007564,0.0,0.11316687410678605,0.08312065368095102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678046540640356,0.0,0.0,0.14839708199527402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761670131606285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862703989910362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179598276301563
mentalhealth,igarg28,2018/02/27,"Survivor of Child Sexual abuse who isn't getting help I'll try being as brief as possible although I doubt it's going to turn out that way.
I'm a 17 year old female living in India.
Around the time I was seven I was assaulted by a woman at my grandmother's home who later tried to attempt the same again. Later, around the age of 11 I had a tutor who turned out to be a pedophile and put his hand on my thigh and basically made me uncomfortable.

Ever since I can remember around the age of 8 maybe later, I've had panic attacks. I also suffer from asthma so as a child the symptoms used to mix up. Therefore until I was 14 years old I had blocked all of this out and failed to remember any of it. No one knew, I still had panic attacks and night terrors regularly as a child though.

Eventually ever since 14 years of age, it started coming back to me. Ever since then my panic attacks have only gotten worse.

I had been severely depressed from the age of 12 to 16, I'm better this year although my mind still goes back to suicide way more often than it should even though I do not want to carry it out.

I have discussed this with my orthodox hindu parents multiple times and they do not want me to get therapy or see a psychiatrist. 

I don't believe in god either or any metaphysical force. However, my family disagrees and believes I'll get better all on my own.

But basically even though I know this blog isn't replacing therapy I'd still like some help.

I feel that my ptsd is definitely getting worse. It got so much worse last night when i had one of the worst panic attacks of my life. Which brings me to my next point. When I was panicking I feel like I was hallucinating last night. I know I saw something because I ended up sleeping for 2 hours and the next night, I still don't want to go to sleep. That's how terrified I am.

I do however graduate in two months, giving my law entrances in May and hopefully I'll move out by August. I have enough cash saved up to pay for about 3 months of weekly therapy. Perhaps that'll work.

But for now, I need help but I don't know how to get it. My parents are ridiculously strict, I'm not even allowed to talk to boys.

I do however not comply. I have great friends and an amazing boyfriend that really do try to help. I do not have access to any medication and I simply wait for the panic attacks to pass. Therapy or a psychiatrist isn't an option for me this year at all, I've tried, but please advise.

Thank you <3",3.804261477045905,4.888394131736528,5.264645708582837,82.10479291417168,71.75449101796406,8.361077844311378,27.09031936127745,8.761943790366164,1.940669061876248,1944,66,394,35,36,655,235,501,0.17,0.762,0.068,-0.9889,6,0,1,0,1,1,44.0,0,1,1,5,29,28,7,7,19,0,38,8,4,6,6,70,73,35,1,6,13,2,3,2,1,3,4,0,1,5,21,20,0,2,8,1,2,8,12,18,0,4,17,5,52,10,66,51,11,76,2,3,2,0,22,20,0,9,48,261,73,6,0.0,0.07003953721370408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04727284617571554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059711508553568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578699807455446,0.0,0.33624928942876303,0.0,0.09090888371317096,0.0,0.036034889679965536,0.0,0.0,0.1332007841445233,0.0,0.10456173501033117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092083225422821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050914157229388635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05235679542772758,0.06107979116588187,0.0,0.11713123607982825,0.16041396188361998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557267129328528,0.0,0.059778872615475626,0.04223051895830778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045670751769889766,0.0,0.15442117150309445,0.05670681766634044,0.06719084662378116,0.0,0.04727826763107458,0.06517256889175248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848946673961908,0.0,0.059295411440996634,0.058712797223006825,0.05821464564929341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746129187335197,0.09637038005444183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0417534379931989,0.0577594978910274,0.0,0.052198084419777316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559343882325901,0.0,0.0,0.059387206879953774,0.0,0.0,0.05955038224501584,0.0,0.0,0.059687533110370915,0.0,0.09436726736319503,0.06282803164497186,0.043455041793697004,0.04383172725172069,0.0,0.0,0.12573522801066372,0.22189512981173495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240588278688608,0.0,0.08011333868104524,0.04495829180398635,0.0,0.3467833221293435,0.13127654127402005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488859919377607,0.055881130123259966,0.06664130957146892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910022809331443,0.059425145334542476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786946283910323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339275818927596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04710560833413285,0.0,0.0,0.06678114871230066,0.0,0.14669727845724964,0.0,0.11831188553787972,0.0,0.0,0.045508269313560654,0.0,0.0,0.0418406639387157,0.0,0.18883167726148667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466030309359411,0.0,0.0,0.06144130276881553,0.0,0.047512992695291266,0.0,0.054423540220202765,0.2704046212077097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742354095290632,0.0,0.06893882510109832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053607093766106,0.12859648650742014,0.05774505760057999,0.0,0.0,0.051054869961045087,0.0,0.0,0.104599582600641,0.09384269570246218,0.04741708500607162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303515140799488,0.0,0.18072436157281552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033498055048528
mentalhealth,Cuntwaffle92,2018/02/27,"I think I may have a problem If you were to look at my post history, you'll see I'm in a downward spiral and things ply seem to be getting worse. I've never been able to really connect with anyone, I've had no friends my entire life and the only person I've ever really talked to was my girlfriend who recently left me for my reckless behavior. My mom left when I was younger after becoming addicted to cocaine and my fondest memory of her was when she tried to crawl in the back seat of the car saying she was gonna kill me. I have a very hard time recognizing right from wrong and consequences for actions I take. I've been told by people online and otherwise I might want my mental health looked at but I'm scared to approach someone because, like I've said, I struggle a lot with communicating. Please help",4.7035080870050185,5.57762157055215,5.753508087005018,80.20558839933075,69.49079754601227,8.872058003346348,29.54210819854993,9.095868883498916,2.409103067484663,648,24,126,12,11,215,108,163,0.126,0.795,0.08,-0.6648,0,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,0,2,0,0,4,7,1,2,7,0,14,3,0,0,2,18,27,9,1,3,2,1,1,1,2,4,3,2,0,1,2,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,10,6,21,2,20,12,1,20,0,0,3,0,15,8,0,5,9,77,23,0,0.15020473379679875,0.0,0.0,0.16374533088992918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502664230473696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549816870484313,0.0,0.09156341157259376,0.16588932749196886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586878110250314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604780473245455,0.0,0.07847577393706315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455393826549467,0.0,0.0,0.15966060813598798,0.0,0.0,0.100679066884093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617928326338305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263957655266829,0.0,0.10609404556239233,0.07338244579895105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252268292720864,0.0,0.0,0.12769869330192715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137104313674946,0.1593434859011477,0.0,0.1759179688423956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584715053220665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423746853699562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041330498749482,0.13115297988469882,0.0,0.16487969207387554,0.0,0.0,0.1438546145539508,0.0,0.0,0.1437256446511406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924499973645081,0.0,0.14830905379023432,0.0,0.0,0.12827402195774398,0.14287909837869384,0.1194488330917832,0.15038114195826738,0.0,0.11969372576360653,0.13674074835333294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272679835132429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702660070856875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129352666054269,0.12072887537167434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997893508588347,0.09624512841566156,0.0,0.0,0.08758558819138533,0.0,0.0,0.14352706002529578,0.0,0.10197915455035066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393463609464707,0.08859464366381235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307145608834827,0.0,0.16422529687265816,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stylechanger,2018/02/27,"Hearing things that aren't there Hey. For quite a time I have been observing unnatural behaviors in myself, but there is one that concerns me the most: I'm hearing things that aren't there. The weird thing is that they're not occurring often, they're pretty sporadic, to be honest. I've only had 2 noticeable ""episodes"" (I'll call them that for now) yet, but I heavily suspect there have been more-- I'll explain that later, though.

Let's focus on the two first. So, what I said previously probably sounds normal (and I hope it is), people sometimes hear things, right? Well, yeah, but the sounds aren't so goddamn real and complex. Some time ago (can't remember when exactly) I was just sitting on my computer, browsing Reddit, and suddenly I hear a ringing noise, like a phone ringing. Except that there was no actual phone ringing. It wasn't short, I heard it for like 10 seconds. Unless Reddit plays a ringing sound just like that, I think this is not normal. Another unusual thing is that this is, like... uhh... hard to remember? I guess. I can't really explain it properly but after a while I forgot many details connected to the situation (this happens a lot too, and it's not always the same; can't really explain it etc. This is another unnatural thing I've noticed about myself by the way), I just remember the sound and that it happened.

All right, now for the second one: this happened recently, yesterday, actually. I was watching a video on YouTube and (again, suddenly) I hear like people talking, also gunshots maybe? This was bizarre as hell. I listened to the video again and the sounds weren't there. They sounded really, really weird, like they were coming straight from my head. Like I could hear my own thoughts, it's just that they weren't my thoughts: just some random sounds. This got me confused. I forgot many details a couple of minutes after it happened, though it was different from last time: I forgot what exactly the voices were saying, and just trying to remember it makes me feel awfully bizarre.

So those were the two noticeable ones, although I'm sure I have heard more, it's just they weren't so complex as those, thus I maybe couldn't remember them or I didn't even notice them.

Couldn't find an answer on google, seems like people either hear voices all the time or not at all.

I'm a male and I don't do any drugs, don't take any meds besides magnesium, but I'm sure it's not it. I'm also fairly young: not even 20. Any help would be appreciated. I would like to think I'm just being a bit paranoid over this, but I'm having a hard time. If this is something serious, I might want to go and see a doctor, considering this isn't my only ""symptom"". Sorry for a lot of text!",3.902074275766637,5.81836930518234,4.7629879926795535,82.49475025666209,72.8387715930902,7.917528902379146,27.471365442128292,8.638961771785754,2.117444547605232,2132,80,400,40,43,690,224,521,0.057,0.802,0.141,0.9925,1,0,2,1,0,0,96.0,0,0,7,2,34,20,1,1,28,2,48,4,1,2,7,89,91,33,0,10,26,0,3,9,0,3,3,25,0,1,45,11,0,3,19,3,0,2,23,5,1,8,25,30,41,15,31,56,15,38,1,0,2,0,29,11,1,15,32,276,86,2,0.0,0.0,0.11601812020346355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269378369207163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950751675904956,0.04946241808723853,0.0,0.0,0.1212724836269501,0.1246650594165982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489777769797866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069927473488777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120599934286674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474614350874713,0.06577398531153385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062106639546823675,0.0,0.06084375808000509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893651359831149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629610588545272,0.0785247966593584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030056823272082187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054331011632069916,0.05056328968321276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033783564562402744,0.0,0.047543035611867096,0.0,0.065484596278585,0.0,0.210265586327734,0.0,0.10650083027722244,0.0,0.061006999635367126,0.0,0.4689863104730223,0.0,0.03984426005255617,0.0,0.0,0.05904160091117747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845503695915937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078582238563821,0.0,0.2613733330847128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107483316569148,0.0,0.0,0.039679530642159865,0.12053437644993098,0.11943957480062968,0.0,0.06602921454429958,0.0,0.0,0.06306100648742957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164855820361584,0.0,0.2707109099870603,0.0,0.0,0.12084298467595732,0.09042013489008434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363357491363827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060476221882070434,0.06409100753571158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322632828078073,0.0,0.06766062536658958,0.1523261583449724,0.0,0.05869407306058658,0.0,0.3366940094455611,0.10153021173221008,0.056545140197111786,0.04727249184939903,0.0,0.0,0.04736940938750382,0.054115856511103184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066817881797146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576312494129931,0.05879193090822792,0.0665430250604027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205109512141646,0.06178538664681,0.04469471431347116,0.04777907518451245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23695290207680975,0.07617901206414879,0.11680744233592133,0.09438426555917703,0.17331224159890504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403587764527243,0.0,0.11613688349736567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03506178722800831,0.04718411700816332,0.0,0.0,0.05344756305652716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445504780447118,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bead-itqueen,2018/02/27,"Switched from taking Zoloft at night to taking at daytime now I'm nauseous? So while at a 5 day stay at a facility  for an anxiety issue that went supes out of control, the doc put my Zoloft in the morning instead of at night like I had been taking it for 14 years.  I think that's because I used to get sick in the mornings but it's been so long I can't remember.   Anyway...a week or two of taking it in the AM I woke up like 4in the morning dry heaving.  So I've started taking it at night again starting Sunday night...still sick yesterday and today...should I wait and see what happens? Is it common?",3.0642857142857167,3.925265428571432,4.6668253968253985,86.53928571428574,73.28571428571428,6.869841269841268,27.49206349206349,6.937597516519254,1.2607206349206348,468,17,99,4,9,158,80,126,0.073,0.884,0.043,-0.5408,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,8,0,6,4,0,2,0,10,22,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,1,7,2,19,17,0,29,0,0,1,0,0,11,0,1,17,60,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312284079781836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014232746732384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585273064579556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953661894434096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725781282054993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076406854978678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434153987917668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448706849062212,0.0,0.0,0.1308634150676949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5550771386436192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486537341480426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675118760054924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783605305065455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933128219403868,0.1576135009473133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5559124332586035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475138304453457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401668099649281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445094568292674,0.0,0.0,0.12771524618788746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186152210295133,0.0,0.0,0.13708023784827858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952257009672908
mentalhealth,EvanPetersDouble,2018/02/27,"Need help on quiting bad habits and restoring mental peace without substance use.. I started my university attendance four years ago. At the beginning everything was fine, I went out to bars and got wasted sometimes had fun etc. Then I found out my mom had fought cancer and I was still 21, 1 year later they told me her problem is back, I tried and maintained a stable mental health, though dealing with this and a list of other problems, and then I came to a point in my life where I started using weed to deal with my alcoholism that had kicked in out of the blue during that year and list of those other problems. I managed well to abstain from alcohol, but in time I used other drugs too.. Like antidepressants but really rarely, now I only smoke cannabis and I feel trapped like I can't tell anyone about it. I can't discuss it with my parents, my dad's been putting pressure on me telling me my mom is not OK and I'm stuck at a dead end. I was about to tell him the truth about my use because I am worried, but I am also worried he won't understand and so I always stop talking before I say enough... I'm really tired of my life at this point with all what's happening, I don't want my mom to pass away or suffer from the illness, she's telling me that the doctors are positive on her making it and share optimism, but my dad seems to have another opinion on the matter. I feel like I'm being deceived by everyone here, smoking some buds is all I'm left with that provides me with a temporary numbness to deal with my unstable emotions. It stabilizes my mental state for a while, as I'm feeling euphoric when I'm high on drugs, but I feel the need to cut back as I'm in danger.. I don't want to get addicted to pot again. Any advice? ",6.1780726674641135,5.503506798295459,6.586399521531103,80.83874401913876,66.24431818181819,9.569617224880384,33.583133971291865,8.841846274778883,2.628082954545455,1371,53,279,19,19,446,191,352,0.182,0.6970000000000001,0.121,-0.9734,1,1,5,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,1,16,19,3,1,13,1,20,14,0,5,3,57,54,26,1,7,8,6,4,3,1,1,13,1,0,0,15,22,3,2,7,1,0,5,7,10,1,1,14,6,45,9,48,38,5,47,0,1,1,0,27,21,0,4,23,181,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908847678152785,0.0,0.08146744789116063,0.07390179328509767,0.17819270799248033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667034410432741,0.0693698789638097,0.0,0.0,0.05669393609780282,0.08741990805517022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058293704916085584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783281370998066,0.1282115855002389,0.06960982575255356,0.05082110956033238,0.0,0.07094107535352777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535219072504852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578500500417466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533194083372629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19336368052477773,0.0,0.0,0.09377916395630713,0.07384039358221778,0.08614270187399319,0.09297873049664576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966287316233223,0.07492688936189135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861595312574554,0.05955899545775732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141005893032154,0.0,0.0,0.0435569823861947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667799014901425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737231358568206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886175942899993,0.0,0.0,0.055880638354021316,0.08808417009634871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905809136802908,0.0,0.11777230709562342,0.12218998572798592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564960922720393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25204972932060743,0.0,0.0,0.29292310808283056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363445719756312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340605712152604,0.0,0.0,0.09257166521169782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762174168266252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393192851159981,0.0,0.08380910413511072,0.0,0.08867343954814576,0.0,0.0,0.10681692865051344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629855888013203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589621699402256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245430144477048,0.0,0.11801834194534727,0.0,0.06657877576286031,0.06970041034597285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700903010254418,0.291473531014991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190984640726273,0.0,0.04861326917522648,0.09582066720415117,0.0,0.07966287316233223,0.0,0.05660223551373979,0.0,0.0,0.08679030989752283,0.0,0.2880169927448244,0.0,0.0,0.098346665218509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495895112937194,0.07728411260258544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036496388002483,0.0,0.0,0.16933100233153414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106115465808518
mentalhealth,MariusIchigo,2018/02/27,"Question about schizophrenia Hello
Some peoole with schizophrenia hear voices or sounds right? Now I don't personally have schizophrenia or anything like that but I'm really curious and interested about something without possible being offending or not. I am judt thinking from a mere interesting level or scientifically level of things right now. Here's my question:

The sound they hear or voices. Are they as clear as they would be to a normal person or themself just hearing a normal sound or voice or someone talking near you? Is it amplified or lowered or down or simply just like normal sound? Or is it more like inside your head?

Because if it's like it sounds like someone is like right next to you or across the street and it's like normal sounds or voices like the ear would pick up and or perceive it sounds like a living hell.


Thanks for any input.",4.644135021097046,7.365821303797471,4.574962025316456,81.02341350210973,73.30379746835443,6.491814345991561,26.35611814345992,7.554174236665415,1.6398442194092833,698,25,116,9,15,215,91,158,0.043,0.6890000000000001,0.267,0.9913,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,3,0,7,14,2,0,7,0,11,2,2,1,1,38,17,22,0,7,21,0,0,9,0,2,0,15,0,2,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,15,9,12,15,13,2,13,1,0,0,0,15,10,1,19,12,78,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817373721602375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459864848355867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007585532503087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797759100499056,0.0,0.38868988421441336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.505453413126106,0.0,0.10150788429019997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222565647569296,0.0,0.4505282488100997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074955893403454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295951454181146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25755311954640203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364348892748347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945143147340267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480298182449612,0.08849842263517839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923969417346545,0.0,0.10583565440654832,0.0,0.0,0.07637138015787408,0.07365889473490991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081307808465564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332229330626824,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Femmemom,2018/02/27,"I think I am having a problem taking things personally. Does anyone else have an issue with this on the internet, specifically?

I am much better than I used to be as far as taking things personally, or being overly sensitive about what other people think of me, but sometimes it sneaks up on me.

Little things that are really inconsequential in the scheme of things and shouldn't matter (like getting downvoted, or not getting upvotes on a post that I put a lot of thought into) can change my entire mood and send me into an anxiety ridden panic about what I did or didn't do right.

There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, as some days I can just shrug it off. In my ""real life"" I seem to be able to cope fairly well with the ups and downs of what are really just life situations.

I don't know if it's because it's harder to convey emotional intent through text, and on Reddit that's pretty much the only way we communicate, or... *shrug*. And at this point I am more anxious that I am putting so much thought into it than anything else, I think. Idk. I will probably cross-post this so hopefully it will be seen.

Thanks for reading my ramble.",4.976666666666667,5.763493392070488,5.958696035242291,79.29581204111602,68.82378854625551,8.696505139500735,26.587077826725405,8.841846274778883,1.8985532452276068,908,26,175,15,15,301,129,227,0.062,0.851,0.086,0.8119,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,9,0,23,2,0,3,0,39,39,17,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,22,11,0,0,9,1,0,4,5,2,1,0,5,1,20,5,36,26,6,26,0,0,1,0,4,19,0,11,2,135,42,1,0.1175238763695789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992026599675546,0.0,0.0899054437457325,0.1327685284561858,0.0,0.08217542692384143,0.12041709966980026,0.09671213656892802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164146421771242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039403181723815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243246780891172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579317775066594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284593619044556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963522367446939,0.13219854263447184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280274956797654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672772689831284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266439326817773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458804893783013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602117894754131,0.05741622963388289,0.11778979875244296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999145969958259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591807148065052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893822038077582,0.0,0.1378889469859621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147625823861639,0.20523463147736976,0.0,0.0,0.11109805024314118,0.0,0.22511077392412052,0.1195640328640829,0.12671061605394152,0.11245447773949366,0.0,0.2362879121277808,0.0,0.0,0.11755567999958955,0.13376790055950427,0.1505776091463921,0.12083411848189615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036474828006947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139786463175144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210176109680055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162341188072511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672665800609402,0.0,0.0,0.10820019553035076,0.0,0.0,0.31231056537005536,0.2259136637144559,0.0,0.1866016605861329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015028954421284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328498277600457,0.0,0.0,0.10566807890640302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TrueFunctionality,2018/02/27,"Therapy out of the question? So I stopped taking my meds close to 6 months ago and things have been bad ever since. I’m scared to go back on because I tend to get suicidal during the first 6 weeks every time and I don’t have time to deal with that as I am in college. I have tried therapy in the past, but hated my therapist. Unfortunately there is not a large selection and the therapist I hated is the only one covered by my insurance. Additionally the university student health has directed me to search outside the school as they only offer 8 appointments and that would be “a waste of my time.” I don’t know what my next steps should be, but I know I need to do something. ",4.735555555555557,5.528342407407408,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000003,69.37037037037038,9.555555555555557,29.814814814814817,9.725611199111238,2.6827037037037043,535,20,107,12,9,180,87,135,0.197,0.8029999999999999,0.0,-0.9797,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,2,1,9,0,15,1,0,0,1,19,25,9,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,2,1,0,16,0,16,20,0,19,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,12,73,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358418546844194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783543262064865,0.12795261676543004,0.09341632283756432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798817805415094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861827231016807,0.129114959654434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303495510903433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006383889726817,0.0,0.08709228577749893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025941044931428,0.0,0.1628915596078286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843815510775165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021990714253188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231816430674596,0.0,0.0,0.11362873092827305,0.0,0.0,0.1629770863212777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384232581658913,0.2330984409102611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462890554980874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166872421159346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342431069988527,0.15509144599380909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676529557383867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797497413563525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281191239451468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762442738722222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522066668075877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35049649958485546,0.35585696308833314,0.10180872529186183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680740082271044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404284266564884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122923360118017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088603771391998,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nostradamusthe,2018/02/27,"I think I’m having a mental breakdown I’ve just been really stressed lately, my mind is going at 1000 miles per hour, I’m in my last semester of college and everything is coming fast, resumes I haven’t done, jobs I should be applying for but I haven’t, my neighbors under me driving me insane, I’m thinking about marriage, I’m just so frustrated by everything, everything affects me and I just want it to fucking end, it’s like I’m in some nightmare, my mind has 0 peace, and that is all I want is inner peace with everything. I just feel like throwing a huge tantrum like a child. WHAT DO I DO, DOES IT GET BETTER ",2.0531333333333315,4.172639000000004,3.6709,87.29728333333338,79.0,6.726666666666668,26.416666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.6427466666666666,485,20,97,8,12,161,79,125,0.11,0.662,0.227,0.9441,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,3,1,3,0,14,1,0,1,1,21,28,5,0,3,5,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,2,1,15,4,10,24,2,16,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,1,8,58,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917100033623315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529046375457025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760038695091918,0.17260344927031818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493876425746372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6063429959787833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528238581869063,0.1204947250943494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592861221666207,0.0881208048964897,0.0,0.0958565368422544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610162264171366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737456407059245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748496038329586,0.1902621224398908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24720445041788386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997523554121724,0.0,0.3406083122395146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080514904108408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932058536982673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614818836080424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896665983655046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DisastrousSyrup,2018/02/27,"Is this normal? Do I have a mental illness? Hello. Before you read, I do not always think about it, it is usually only when someones brings up the topic. Also I do have Anxiety... Anyways, I'm sure you all have heard about the shooting in Florida. It's really sad. For some reason, every time I think about it I say ""What if i did that"".... what if I shot up a school. I don't want to shoot up a school but for some reason that has been popping up in mind, I will think about it a lot and then my brain is like ""Are you sure you don't want too?"".... I need help, Do i have a mental illness. Should i talk with my therapist?",-0.3086768447837116,1.7274507022900778,2.138137404580153,95.28822391857507,87.77862595419847,5.020050890585242,16.366921119592874,6.42735559955562,-0.3820385750636133,466,10,108,5,15,159,75,131,0.081,0.807,0.112,0.7038,0,0,0,2,0,0,31.0,0,4,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,19,3,1,2,3,23,28,7,0,7,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,10,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,2,18,3,14,23,4,11,0,1,0,0,9,6,0,5,5,82,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245459315466354,0.13781778418544674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670682380526185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093929467653593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848983345336203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955077888066925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101858431722657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091866063592143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408130665916965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338330287667555,0.0,0.16723951600360826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281286341026974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228265243180015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596940382415048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567524960047544,0.0,0.10610709316495147,0.3405913306751569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171596398942848,0.0,0.3352536707456896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403381238605889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31220943581750593,0.0,0.0,0.13312746377958165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230969247094928,0.0,0.3183878705323386,0.0,0.0,0.09658043432994412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241851597084785,0.0,0.19538623513404052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Whozurdaddi,2018/02/27,Desperately need help. I am so lonely. I often think about what it would be like to be gone.,-0.6628070175438552,1.4995949999999991,1.7852631578947395,93.54350877192984,99.0,4.63859649122807,11.596491228070176,6.42735559955562,-0.8686982456140355,71,1,16,1,3,24,17,19,0.229,0.551,0.22,-0.0498,0,2,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4568122742424885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329590052069836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5053426305668726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.436694114844495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841362646455207,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sovereignbunny,2018/02/27,"Seeking advice on being good friend to someone with Schizophrenia. (UK) Can anyone point me in the direction of some reading on --or give informed personal opinions on-- being the best friend one could be to someone who has schizophrenea?

Particularly, my friends and I are at a loss on how to respond to this person's paranoia, which eventually cost them their job.

Also, with some friends, this person can get aggressive. Never physically,  but verbally; though sometimes this person does talk about getting physical with them to them. 

This person does not seem open to talking about their condition, nor do we as friends feel comfortable referring to it. Please help.",8.223827433628319,10.306992477876108,6.835564159292037,71.21316924778763,62.27433628318585,9.543805309734514,38.01880530973453,9.827888789773867,4.183248672566371,542,27,79,11,8,162,84,113,0.034,0.746,0.22,0.9756,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,5,2,5,10,1,0,3,0,9,0,0,1,1,19,14,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,7,6,0,0,4,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,9,8,20,10,3,9,0,1,0,0,23,8,0,5,1,61,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869473037240928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531963600731777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208699708633457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820996651042286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515092835444267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23050135011986586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659096726890076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.508751571114022,0.0,0.13761457487943035,0.12633767329246093,0.0,0.11046286574438764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827505797919051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069092768308388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157438131332436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892426451102184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5749723980256025,0.0,0.14456594432056713,0.12449811594552705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173463122542714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989381569164614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22317625642001676,0.0,0.13025367023472764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117093215706164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939359058247718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hh_95,2018/02/27,"When is self-harm a problem? I recently started pushing sewing needles in and out of my arm or hands (I don’t leave them imbedded). I do this for usually about an hour, producing a couple bloody areas, then I clean up. I’m not suicidal, it just feels nice, and I’m super relaxed afterwards (I do this before bed primarily). Is it really a problem? ",1.521470588235296,4.064806735294121,4.036764705882355,81.26044117647061,84.58823529411767,7.51764705882353,27.617647058823533,8.472884824447931,2.6132588235294123,270,13,50,7,8,94,52,68,0.127,0.653,0.221,0.8422,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,4,5,0,0,4,0,5,2,2,1,0,10,9,5,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,7,3,6,9,0,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,7,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329645626498545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30292969370325445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843017454969506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26961577580819396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898909352468638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239363543418276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753889332989235,0.0,0.2703223392991222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28560973287641983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937811858570281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994682452865526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30152733409030685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TouchofWrath,2018/02/27,"""I am not Me"" Lately I have been having this... weird sensation. It's like... imagine if you were put in your friends body; you see out of their eyes like they would, you have your own separate thoughts.  But you can't control what they do, and every time they talk you keep thinking ""This isn't me"".  That's whats been going on.  And it's starting to freak me out.  It's like I'm having an out of body experience but still in my body.  It sometimes feels like I'm dreaming, but I know I'm awake.  I haven't been talking as much cuz every time I hear my voice I sorta freak out. 

Does anyone else feel like this? is there a particular reason I feel like this? ",1.6913725490196114,3.378589705882355,2.885882352941177,94.55813725490198,78.41176470588233,5.7098039215686285,20.892156862745093,6.42735559955562,0.03971274509803946,504,13,116,4,12,162,78,136,0.054000000000000006,0.8270000000000001,0.119,0.8181,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,7,4,1,2,10,0,0,2,0,15,4,4,3,0,24,29,8,0,2,5,0,3,6,1,1,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,2,8,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,5,7,23,7,11,23,2,14,0,0,2,0,15,7,0,2,11,74,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883340379538913,0.14482713727261573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710153632857237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853315253437608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369408131758773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807763358687155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238182598217226,0.0,0.0,0.1382649009383901,0.0,0.0,0.21440851039075104,0.30293587907293795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092046674348824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033099714657843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930881715661108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256360829941496,0.0,0.0,0.0776808464523705,0.0,0.15944604842101415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143312632673133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390661864642764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420931993023755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532869096316545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263559484121052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397962143783562,0.0,0.10004643264257687,0.0,0.11288023361434513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22721940695296775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056972051381228,0.0,0.11221406422805412,0.16484163664414184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040915297234998,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,parathrowaway7,2018/02/27,"How to form meaningful attachments I started therapy 2 and a half years ago, mostly due to mounting issues with anger/deviant behaviors. Anxiety and depression as well but mostly the former, I was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder within the first year- stemming from a general neglect/lack of attention when I was a kid- and have been working on being a more functional/healthy member of society since then. 

I wanted to get some different perspectives on how to build meaningful relationships, as mine tend to be shallow and generally manipulative on my part. I find it very difficult to impossible to relate to others, and my affect is generally muted. Typically this results in me acting according to to the situation or otherwise deceitfully. Which I guess is a fairly normal behavior when it isnt resulting in pathological relationships. Im not really sure how much background is too much, so il stop here. I appreciate any feedback you guys can provide",11.445180722891564,10.86198878915663,11.837439759036148,47.152063253012074,55.686746987951814,16.49277108433735,47.85843373493976,14.90622815163357,7.985544578313253,793,45,106,34,8,272,120,166,0.101,0.8140000000000001,0.084,-0.5961,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,9,4,0,0,8,0,11,2,0,7,1,32,16,16,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,1,2,3,0,12,2,23,11,8,18,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,5,11,87,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592670138805987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218206766107438,0.0,0.1374474030314909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474989594308775,0.18236172546124355,0.0,0.18771738011042846,0.20591790245846664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421553696577326,0.15282759360923728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093870394883881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979272577086932,0.17790199397420653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407491839634025,0.18752927071721173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264156908872314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603889407009748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945655893867909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510149146471932,0.0,0.0,0.3857976485973392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486252535099731,0.2019571145212608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271716697879182,0.0,0.0,0.15021254192344474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933727350389582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054688188488238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824693846695675,0.10597428694349008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154531276312342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080222799874086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314037590905315
mentalhealth,hobo411,2018/02/27,"Friend of mine seems to have completely changed his personality and thinking ways.     Close friend to me is a fantastic poet. Didn’t even knew he wrote until a year ago when he showed me all of his poems he had written from the 80’s and 90’s. He recently put together enough of his poems to release a book and as of Monday last week, he was no longer who I knew and started acting very strange. He chalked it up to being “creative” and that there is nothing wrong and “everything is fine” even though it seemed like he has lost his mind. He locked himself upstairs and essentially made a huge mess out of the room. 
    However we found his notebook that he had been writing in and it is some crazy looking material.. after examining through his notes and trying to link things together, it all goes back to his poems and his book but if someone looked at it, they’d prob think he is crazy. To me, being unbiased, it seems highly intellectual and it seems this people with these creative sides often end up in bad mental states. He’s in the hospital right now and they don’t know what’s wrong. Has anyone ever heard of such things?",5.627824377457403,6.357935321100918,5.8012057667103525,81.20522935779817,67.34862385321101,8.797378768020971,29.79161205766711,8.841846274778883,2.20556120576671,892,31,174,14,14,283,136,218,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.117,0.8705,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,2,1,10,9,0,0,7,0,17,0,0,1,3,39,35,18,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,15,16,0,0,12,3,0,2,3,5,0,0,13,3,17,4,26,19,4,31,0,1,2,0,30,13,0,7,15,110,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040549563561162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497580668685524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444522935207863,0.1134127495189604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369060234443046,0.0,0.1424156392910192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030545933975866,0.1403491614136569,0.0,0.17942945825843684,0.122866415659829,0.0,0.0,0.12207564727488655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489310740962121,0.20988453266407853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435123247576328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464886134252338,0.11071994327079024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635989529387691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281267312455933,0.0,0.14827497823682514,0.0,0.0,0.12852605309847567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688514281195033,0.0,0.1371500304599885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033297716683231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416772923140157,0.11860190700747895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654711575448958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411617960537628,0.0,0.0,0.11599845948664245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946197496875065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150886968709126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614148943046076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047942671681502,0.17406933155941046,0.13345272442924666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922199572995984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207434400671172,0.0,0.1078158863614002,0.10895499133598176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29701854132616623,0.0,0.08747035442670906
mentalhealth,coliet27,2018/02/27,"Social anxiety making me stress over plans? Lately my friends have been incredibly flaky due to life just being life. Also, most of my friends don't even have their learners permit yet and can't drive so a lot of our planning relies on our parents. I love my friends so much and my homelife has been really miserable so I have really been wanting to hang out lately. However, as a sufferer of GAD and depression it's not as easy as it sounds. I get so worried just texting people to come to my house. I'm so convinced that they hate me and that I'm being the annoying bitch I think I am. How do I get over this? Advice would be greatly appreciated. ",3.2006131078224094,5.104493162790696,4.7169696969697,82.13181818181819,74.73643410852712,7.79168428470754,27.231148696264967,8.575989854853784,2.087117829457364,514,20,99,10,11,172,83,129,0.202,0.662,0.136,-0.8377,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,2,2,11,13,3,2,3,0,15,3,0,3,0,17,25,14,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,3,1,17,6,14,18,3,11,0,3,0,1,10,4,1,2,4,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735727997732983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204640733925486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588240828983073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300794992440464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298789267433266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731943824227803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41169720468798665,0.0,0.1856031477148644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958318573358757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753676161654928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204955053897718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007367937371324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25092315529091275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101016687596455,0.16031322546612947,0.0,0.11856586562967328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305745912701732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972312073889604,0.0,0.0,0.12314260101110805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275818605957084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106601147159632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346849217649654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381473472625075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476764936315146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038650359079364,0.0,0.1261794896219506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justyourbarber,2018/02/27,Should I seek an anti-anxiety medication I'm always tense and on the verge of tears. I get nauseated by social interaction. Im not sure what to do. I can't even be happy anymore. Im just really confused and Im not sure what is supposed to help me.,0.3159119496855354,2.4831066603773637,4.107830188679248,81.3446383647799,86.16981132075472,7.3069182389937115,22.040880503144656,8.344100000000001,1.6108012578616355,195,7,41,5,6,73,40,53,0.258,0.691,0.05,-0.8448,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,0,2,9,7,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812675852374938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665367332699985,0.0,0.21604739099375075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438870239481836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381696400964796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23190401165784025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601940391517207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7059419968228339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194596649788376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955946736670566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220693341116512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106396779884939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mgracesnat,2018/02/27,"I really need help I’m in my second semester of my junior year of college and I’m just drowning. I am working about 30 hours a week on top of a full course-load. I have been really struggling to stay on top of my work and I feel like all of a sudden everything is becoming too much. My grandfather died this past week and I’m just emotionally overwhelmed. 
I can’t see the end and it’s really taking a toll on me mentally. I feel like there’s no one I can turn to for help or even just someone to talk to. I want to go to therapy but I just do not have the time. 
These pay few days I’ve been having panic attacks and mental breakdowns and everything is getting to be to much and I don’t see a way out.
If anyone has any advice or even words of comfort I would really appreciate it. This is my first time posting in this sub but I just don’t have anywhere else to turn. ",0.9813440860215046,2.86375240322581,3.348602150537633,89.45956989247311,81.41935483870971,6.929032258064518,21.623655913978496,7.984000788550335,0.9972494623655916,681,21,152,13,18,235,105,186,0.08900000000000001,0.8009999999999999,0.111,-0.0203,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,5,10,7,1,3,7,0,18,0,0,0,1,26,32,12,2,4,11,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,4,0,3,2,4,18,3,23,28,5,24,0,1,2,0,3,9,0,3,13,103,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267515772521403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820757255866192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069658168077208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756439359622867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325503139659174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365252720961716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461899684423587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835645973961276,0.145906828463921,0.11488498282122367,0.0,0.0,0.1713450939198529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331508265216393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117102942217088,0.18533038187005496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033166576986343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677683708119805,0.0,0.07371745345618078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738843975741423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773869200216198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673997460621886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614353058745109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070425105966485,0.0961786753982978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878951763847689,0.0,0.0,0.1521872974846645,0.0,0.0,0.12382332767542385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422678201205264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33238341286375184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067249135490119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990326653083322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825411032514834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560155408849392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752613629786484,0.1042563683470338,0.0,0.0,0.14833523522801073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127044489167996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821755041075459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650660022263177,0.10295813939335492,0.20809184182690066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888615447078304,0.0,0.0,0.09214260153285074,0.0,0.0,0.08352929468727613
mentalhealth,dorflam,2018/02/27,"I feel like I’m reliving my life I have a constant feeling of dejavu that’s constantly got me in a state of anxiety this is the first time I’ve told anyone about it, does anyone lmao how I can get help for this?",3.336014492753627,3.61600636956522,5.011739130434783,86.44123188405798,72.26086956521739,8.742028985507247,26.20289855072464,8.841846274778883,1.6591681159420304,167,5,38,3,3,57,38,46,0.038,0.728,0.234,0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,3,9,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,5,1,5,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,22,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075385745034432,0.0,0.0,0.3793890614948538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5863431949145829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374105293423936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743480119402424,0.1938119340915288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307618785288052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417395128070369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169779750782077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184213004975264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916224278565405,0.13254016614699174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819326113458795,0.0,0.0,0.2592323024291169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_MY_DAD,2018/02/27,"Can anyone give me advice on expressing pent up emotions? Hi guys, 

I need some help here. I feel like I have a lot of repressed/pent up/locked emotions that I haven't been able to get off my chest. Its as if I have this suffering energy inside me that I recognize, and I genuinely want to get out into the world, but I just don't know how. I know seeing a therapist is probably the answer here.. But I wanted to know if anyone has advice in this realm. 

Some things I'm dealing with.. balding and the self-image struggle that comes with it. Feelings about an ex and her being with other people. Feelings of inadequacy. Fear of what others think about me. 

Now I feel like those are some of my ""big ticket"" items, but I'm not kidding when I say I genuinely do not understand exactly what it is that's weighing me down, and what I need to do to get this energy out of me. I know something is up, because I can just feel it. I'll be watching a movie and a semi-emotional scene will pop up and I will just immediately feel this MASSIVE urge to cry. That is just one example of the ""not normal"" signs that have brought me here. 

Lastly, thank you all for your input :) I really appreciate it. ",3.407623716153129,4.7150436092437005,4.9364145658263325,83.22116713352008,72.99159663865547,8.146031746031746,25.40709617180205,8.680891452615391,1.7152513538748826,921,29,188,17,18,310,130,238,0.08,0.82,0.1,0.4084,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,2,9,0,20,3,2,1,2,51,46,14,0,7,12,1,6,2,0,2,0,1,0,2,22,13,1,0,13,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,2,9,29,3,29,40,6,17,0,1,2,0,12,12,0,6,5,140,51,0,0.12774929123844664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496702577669501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865054950578335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787478221290475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004470270662613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403265977808512,0.0,0.13170390981428415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311022741762001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375346906033432,0.38756328052126776,0.18252823837252324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023119604361048,0.12254876079746567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649188304101947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562765707764372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808306781282344,0.10413272283010487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482370166631218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086078790530412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944896149583304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251671816709018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865662259208149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856527340888617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773534275174767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183946717490474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159136387391296,0.0,0.0,0.10179964536054867,0.0,0.13327037184686807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983476456610354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355129654728468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761438371378985,0.0,0.14832677340359854,0.08487095261995332,0.08185658753529969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299151749995552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069968368488235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,behavioranalex,2018/02/28,"The uncommon face of depression Just a passing thought. It is almost unbearable to be the friend, sister, daughter who no one can see is depressed. My friend said she had no idea because I don’t “come off as someone who would be depressed”. I don’t burden others with my feelings and emotions because I know we all struggle, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t fight this same fight everyday. I get up and go to work, I excel in university, not because it’s “easy” but because I refuse to let this demon take control of me. 
There was no real point to this,  I just needed to type it out. Check on your friends and family fellow Redditors, many times it’s the least likely person who’s struggling the most.",3.716857707509885,5.4028012391304365,4.523017127799736,84.97962450592888,72.84057971014492,7.047167325428196,28.48748353096179,7.686295010490155,1.760063768115942,553,22,106,7,11,178,93,138,0.218,0.7,0.08199999999999999,-0.9461,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,1,1,0,3,3,13,2,2,5,0,13,1,1,1,1,26,24,6,0,2,5,2,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,1,13,7,0,2,5,0,1,3,8,8,0,1,4,3,14,5,14,16,4,11,1,3,1,0,17,6,0,2,3,76,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407673186121262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3751863985814126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325437918355408,0.0,0.0,0.17257622044551052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975792514703291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730809652284999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505320340748484,0.0,0.07780036281173508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566344665384932,0.0,0.08038976075064826,0.0,0.08744681885493645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369841904313146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456191444783917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573406142293469,0.0,0.07517220876096349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559981594562114,0.0,0.1676075297015373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140912878964555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426504453399746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435173870500722,0.0,0.0,0.14545514184869046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513564736826187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636385165367358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226129988244131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037198911924394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217128096773716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568970406079833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221541284944054,0.08972175904320581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120178500098772,0.0,0.0,0.10930352321320193,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,etherealoceanbaby,2018/02/28,"Feel like I want to end it all, to just leave the world. I can’t move right now. Hi, I don’t have much to explain right now, I feel too sad and shut down to write a lot. But I am feeling suicidal again after getting better and thinking more positively. It seems to often go up and down - of course, for practically all of the time, it’s down. My mind is very empty right now, which it has been for the last couple of months. This is one of the saddest parts to me because, even though in recent years I’ve really struggled with mental health, my mind has always been wild and buzzing. I feel like it has saved me all this time. I’m sad that the only beauty in my life is leaving me, all because I’m too emotionally attached to people in general. The confusion has turned into worthlessness. I’m just looking for some advice or support here. ",3.922140039447733,4.9566797100591735,4.774689349112425,85.91438116370811,71.42603550295857,7.52682445759369,25.917652859960555,7.793537801064563,1.2991416173570018,657,20,136,8,12,213,103,169,0.124,0.748,0.128,-0.0498,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,2,7,0,13,2,0,0,4,31,29,7,1,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,2,5,12,5,24,27,9,27,0,3,1,0,3,13,0,6,14,93,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640125389878044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614624881967042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017994912072795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345195796399493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444860884845718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701480633478296,0.1236312482311943,0.0,0.0,0.09219485140441352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823143234389347,0.19943969945500967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292761915730375,0.0,0.07932960917437623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837277086178166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137807449950948,0.0,0.29560160391879925,0.0,0.0,0.09859330799129083,0.13638876793618698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172165947147261,0.0,0.0,0.11867052983099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066926939992902,0.0,0.2818829594894545,0.0,0.11141574805111228,0.1483572077458213,0.10261134232918144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945866909938946,0.10616099951612999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115740400867045,0.0,0.09677095263895326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894219923582967,0.0,0.1378237594836399,0.0,0.0,0.35761555006564344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707332108880087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592498499249676,0.0,0.1526837904642812,0.1583998769419055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944069894069827,0.1371419633954116,0.0,0.16278675822712968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182885063128398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517258751418055,0.0823310954240885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988843199923821
mentalhealth,isit_naptime,2018/02/28,"I just need to vent for a moment. Sometimes it feels like I can't control my thoughts or emotions. Like if I get too stressed out I hear this... screaming in my head, or I'll feel tears welling up but it's not like I WANT to cry. It's like a reaction happening on it's own. My sleep goes between okay and WHY AM I AWAKE AT 3 IN THE MORNING I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW. 

I can't stress out too much or else I'll have another ""episode"" where I basically lose my ability to speak (still talking to doctors to figure that part out - apparently the blood vessels on one side of my head are thicker than usual and I also have a very tiny hole in my heart). A few years ago I didn't stress things nearly as much, but after moving out, losing a friend in a car accident and missing her funeral due to miscommunication, losing my grandmother and missing her funeral because of work, my car breaking down after I sunk too much goddamn money into it, and working a job I hate more and more every day... I'm 22 but I feel like I'm fucking 40.

I'm just... tired. I have my first therapy appointment next week, and I'm going to try to take up hiking and boxing for an outlet. I got a solid used car and I'm really trying to push through. I'm okay. I just needed to vent for a second.

Thanks, reddit. ",1.0724405749032613,3.1142509925373147,3.2512603648424547,89.43182697623001,81.98507462686567,6.0599226091763425,22.98562741846324,7.2427474758485975,0.8659580983969044,998,35,215,14,27,340,151,268,0.184,0.6809999999999999,0.135,-0.946,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,7,13,21,2,3,12,2,8,9,6,2,0,36,35,18,2,5,11,0,3,5,1,0,2,3,0,0,8,14,0,1,5,0,1,7,4,11,1,3,3,6,28,10,39,32,8,40,0,5,0,1,6,18,1,4,19,135,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929734158778768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387576746913293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099801115280656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064938974545423,0.0,0.06393636669004515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763642343225253,0.0,0.0,0.115210245950405,0.06764156006839757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735330862938916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761719728932818,0.11798048225370356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836936795286426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909763927980775,0.14985842718594125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921435187388567,0.0,0.0,0.08103318639527174,0.09696364949494096,0.05479760717245877,0.0,0.1192160887991031,0.0,0.08388538670651392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274865284249552,0.0,0.0,0.10355132291366402,0.21528266718162756,0.0,0.11821199018585547,0.12428814955742035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040812736943942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562053380620444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520153992775981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147518711289486,0.23130561891502696,0.1555404448917819,0.0,0.0,0.11154541772353113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107217261057515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357924668031907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719143263485795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099196685412959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373304514506722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837605683499502,0.0,0.3604331061256206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885978136799608,0.08430185718582958,0.0,0.0965631768264826,0.11994409563733835,0.0,0.0696803277498422,0.0,0.0,0.08326625039341844,0.0,0.12054883035515772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241882228039632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058617678956836,0.1155150052801052,0.08654035714541251,0.12372670538979424,0.0,0.08413168907262593,0.0,0.0943033913972136,0.0,0.09464157595708253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271373079923384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754191406438116
mentalhealth,coleslaw-ie,2018/02/28,"Sometimes I think I'm too clever for my own good... Hi guys, this is my first post here and would love to hear opinions on this.  I often think that my cleverness and ability to read people puts me into situations where I'm left with anger and hatred.

I've been in a relationship before where I could easily read when my ex was lying to me or trying to play mind games.  She would deny it fervently and I'd be left with an underlying anger, but force myself to think I was overreacting, only to catch her slip after some time had passed and find out my initial theories were correct that she was indeed lying.

I can pick up cues when co-workers are trying to make a subtle play to undermine me or outshine me, and I in turn have to get revenge or angrily compete with them.

I can tell if a housemate is passively-aggressively trying to send me a message, and I'm so outraged by their indirect approach that I will refuse to do whatever they wanted me to do until they say something directly. Or, that I'm so fed up that I call them out for their passive-aggressiveness.

My point is if I were, say - for a lack of a better word - simple, I would never have thought my ex was lying and we'd be happy.  I'd never have to compete with my coworkers and I'd be content with my job.  I would never realize the passive-aggressive messages my housemate is trying to send me and they would eventually take care of it on their own, while in my head, the house would be peaceful.

Now sometimes I'm wrong and I admit that at times I can be irrational and obsessive, but I'd say in general, I'm correct much more often than not when it comes to reading people like this.

Has anyone faced this problem as well? What is my issue here? And what can I do to just have more peace?",6.84195782184451,5.743509722379607,7.535387157695942,75.96711598992762,65.09065155807366,10.563991186654077,33.20884482215927,9.725611199111238,2.9449976078061058,1384,48,274,24,18,463,178,353,0.149,0.733,0.118,-0.934,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,8,4,15,17,3,1,9,0,40,4,2,2,5,65,61,29,0,12,10,2,0,1,0,7,0,4,0,1,15,22,1,1,7,6,0,7,4,6,1,1,10,4,47,11,44,37,7,39,0,0,0,1,31,18,0,11,14,203,62,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233258593368137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802582434284198,0.0,0.0,0.09149051337628894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563100895727613,0.0,0.10547116668587192,0.0,0.0,0.08911047782493135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259405564146449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945487339252582,0.08799201191059619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404681647866748,0.0,0.0,0.08676648149842131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024288481092136,0.0,0.11012131335426947,0.0,0.0,0.10616652263286587,0.0,0.11659234898789647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193640120953426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079718487534763,0.10265523968086944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22479105530048615,0.0,0.0,0.05053900563035462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336500573990247,0.0,0.06905171231433907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104452035840693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604548799999562,0.0,0.2393542377579661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867614662785209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143434325106979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779090376645168,0.0,0.099073683027863,0.0,0.0,0.0989848605503167,0.0,0.1039928622756822,0.0,0.0,0.31042514692779777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106342280457536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467957499551431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162788237824502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963859669988645,0.2046235645320867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777931101499014,0.0,0.09041728545082456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885408699322146,0.0,0.0821254063104729,0.12064161902888275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28093503888487986,0.11252068998078896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061015753102749225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301132569749873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753106878946634,0.0,0.0,0.4409149178512556,0.11310311496067045,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FeelGoodFatLoss,2018/02/28,"If you could ask a mental health professional anything.... What would you want to know?

This Friday I'll be doing a podcast interview -

With a mental health professional who specializes using mindfulness to help people who deal with substance abuse.

Want your questions answered?

Just put them in this completely anonymous form:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GG3YJSG

Thank you!",9.562202380952384,13.893297482142858,6.803571428571432,62.90809523809526,65.25,8.733333333333334,32.54761904761905,9.2995712137729,3.9546404761904768,313,13,37,7,6,89,44,56,0.07,0.7879999999999999,0.142,0.3076,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,1,0,13,10,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,5,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,2,0,25,10,3,0.0,0.25066031380727066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409328992906065,0.0,0.19777712870049968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218133681056983,0.0,0.0,0.16891095753916752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21810585823773926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497501502393694,0.0,0.0,0.14180212008998985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626613089735666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4263991612424398,0.0,0.21361214501143325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466669060481463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21267310108217846,0.236992127435725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477315546039128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271722279913907,0.0,0.0,0.24956346316973424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028394071290016,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mikeybofficial,2018/02/28,I was diagnosed with OCD today And it feels good to know whats up with my head :),-0.706666666666667,1.1645405555555577,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,87.88888888888891,5.822222222222222,14.555555555555555,7.1686216300943375,-0.4813111111111117,62,1,16,1,2,21,17,18,0.0,0.718,0.282,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4927354177967244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24546502392015285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4071839033775059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982257934989929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667981433827178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4601628062877939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TAacc120120,2018/02/28,"How to deal with guilt? As a teenager I abused my cat a couple of times (grabbed her hard until she became scared and then chased her around for a minute or so).

I have recently developed severe feelings of guilt because of this (although I have always been aware that it was wrong and was ashamed of it), which are quite debilitating.

I've been looking online into ways how to deal with feelings of guilt (I don't feel like I couldn't admit what I've done to my current therapist). But all the advice is focused on ""irrational"" feelings of guilt (i.e. blaming yourself for things your not actually responsible for, blaming yourself because of hindsight even though you were doing the best at the time,...). But abusing animals/enjoying another beings fear is objectively a horrible thing.

Are there ways to deal with warranted feelings of guilt? Or is self-forgiveness inappropriate, since I would be letting myself off the hook for something having done something awful?

",8.529302325581398,9.143445883720936,7.7889302325581395,69.8549069767442,61.093023255813954,10.368372093023256,38.71162790697673,10.125756701596842,4.139967906976745,780,37,123,15,10,243,114,172,0.269,0.696,0.035,-0.9902,1,0,2,0,1,0,29.0,0,2,0,2,7,11,0,8,8,1,22,0,0,2,1,23,29,14,0,2,5,0,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,7,8,14,2,26,17,2,13,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,2,7,95,22,0,0.0,0.3131648091516085,0.12896449621355066,0.0,0.0,0.1291406166791056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996378529384752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857634096207305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764622373240825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112127233213153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138688820083818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462273111266322,0.0,0.0,0.4087388930805379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27048148330881544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728732049515944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871143892149852,0.334108418949205,0.09441176324166367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838517896118105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351377344701396,0.0,0.06456439767208066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097715668887896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056341474700138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048740230759065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323104966871243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786678605044878,0.1492978574915601,0.0,0.10932021883333287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20347919248690768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344247375466366,0.17559620048479452,0.0,0.12984189821751432,0.0,0.1541216209071224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097974305588636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387932396847956,0.14449105994847303,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsychAdvice20,2018/02/28,"I have no talents or hobbies and hate myself for wasting my life Note: Throwaway account, excuse the poor formatting as I just want to get this off my chest. Tell me if this isn't the right place to post this.

I am a 17-year-old male who currently has no talents or hobbies whatsoever, and I have been depressed (more or less secretly) about this and beating myself up over it for the last several years. My parents tried to introduce me to activities when I was a young child such as swimming, gymnastics, rugby etc. and although I liked these things once I got there I was never talented in them and never enthusiastic when it came time to go to practices and once I found out, around seven or so, that I could quit these activities just by asking I did. I also never had one single friend until this year (and even that is still an issue) and used to suffer from Aspergers' Syndrome until I managed to resolve it by working through the issues more recently, but by doing so I have made this problem far worse by removing the blissful ignorance I once possessed. From eight until seventeen my computer was my only friend and source of entertainment; I whiled away all of my free time reading any random thing I found interesting on the internet and sometimes playing games. This was enough to entertain (and pacify) me and I was never motivated to do anything else. My veil of blissful ignorance was lifted by puberty, specifically, as strange as this may sound, by a pretty girl onto whom I developed a crush. Due to my Aspergers' Syndrome I never felt the need to make friends, but now I had other motivations, and I suddenly realised I had nothing to talk to people about. In addition, I suddenly became bitterly jealous when I found out that this girl, whom I thought was ""on my level"", was very talented at a number of things and had been doing them for years. That was when I started beating myself up over my past failures. So what caused this? Although it was I that quit all the activities my parents got me to do when I was young, they never educated me about the importance of them or why they wanted me to do them (which I believe I would have been smart enough to understand back then) and I can't help but feel that this is partially their fault as they were ""hands-off"" parents and seemingly completely gave up on raising a multitalented son when they were disheartened by me quitting the initial activities; activities that I might not have quit if they had educated me on the importance of not doing so. I also had a petrifying fear of asking for things from my parents for some reason, never being able to ask to try new things that I had an inkling of desire to try and never having the courage to complain about anything. I did some activities, most notably drama, as part of my old school's experimental curriculum, and although I liked these I still wasn't talented and was still only doing what the curriculum required whereas literally everybody else there was high-powered (or at least seemed that way) with one or more hobbies and a track record of extracurricular achievements. Two years ago when the self-thrashing started I tried to find extra-curricular sports and hobbies for a school extracurricular achievement program I signed up for in the hope of turning things around; my parents as expected were not helpful in the slightest and didn't take it too seriously, just providing me a starting point for research as if I was actually confident or motivated enough to find things myself without inspiration. I failed the program, and when I finally after years gained enough courage to speak my thoughts and broke down in tears confronting them about having not motivated me when I was younger, my dad got upset and apologised, saying that he had failed me in some ways, but my mother freaked out at me for making my dad upset and ordered me to apologise, which I did not because I still believe it was partially their fault, I know how they raised me, and it wasn't the right way for my kind of personality which they never fully understood.

Moving on, this year I decided to go to boarding school overseas and will be there next year as well, and this has genuinely helped me significantly by erasing the outdated reputation that I had still been tagged with in my old school despite efforts to change that; I have actual friends now, am quite well-known among students and people appreciate my personality. I have done American football and ski racing as sports so far, neither of which I had done before. I like football (although I'm not good at it I'm new and have definitely improved over the course of the season) and, especially, skiing, which has been the one sport I have truly loved and remained passionate about through all of my unmotivated years, but haven't had the chance to do regularly until now due to growing up in a hot country. If these problems can be resolved I aim to make that my ""signature"" sport or activity and although I am nowhere near the level of skill of other racers I am improving slowly.

However, although I was initially proud of myself for doing all this, sports are still something mandatory at my school and I still have no hobbies or achievements outside of this. The phenomenon of autoflagellation over this has returned because I still get very jealous of other people, almost every one of whom in this school is more accomplished than me extracurricularly especially when they endaggerate their abilities leading me to think that I am on their sort of level only to find out that they are excellent at everything they try, have multiple talents and are winning many awards. I would like to do drawing but have no opportunity to learn at the moment and whenever I try to get a pencil and paper and just practice the results are so awful that I just give up, and online tutorials suck. It is the same with piano which I managed to teach myself to the point of playing some simple songs one key at a time, but when I tried to get into chords and the bass line I hit a wall and have given that up at least for now as well.

Don't get me wrong; I genuinely want to have something to do other than use the computer all the time and am not doing this just to right past wrongs, elevate my status or be able to date girls without feeling bitter jealousy (those are MASSIVE reasons but not the only reasons). **In essence, my problem is that I will continue to excoriate myself for my lack of achievement and wasting my life until I can suss out someone or something onto which I can finally lay down the blame and move on.** Can you help me?

I'm sorry if it seems like I am only bashing my parents or if the tone of this essay is troll-like at all.

Thank you,

PsychAdvice20.",13.114209454545453,8.549272302400002,11.924585454545454,60.16889272727275,56.37600000000001,14.915636363636365,47.44909090909091,12.202709547874141,5.637736,5398,238,927,111,44,1741,469,1250,0.129,0.731,0.14,0.9649,9,0,3,0,0,0,114.0,0,2,19,31,55,68,7,3,51,1,113,5,1,18,15,188,169,117,0,20,43,10,4,5,4,6,2,4,0,7,76,59,0,3,31,16,3,9,31,28,2,8,58,10,148,41,180,99,28,160,1,6,0,2,65,66,1,33,85,753,224,35,0.08144909039445697,0.0,0.07948256305244994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036099852138892066,0.0,0.04077974936665858,0.0,0.0,0.06513480816170139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027694087238275232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670256614823733,0.07250695866100904,0.11421585704972086,0.0,0.038262050782847216,0.031314661480514205,0.0,0.04965060952133588,0.0,0.0346535884583571,0.0917652333645468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657803056299864,0.0,0.041835326009819665,0.0430811689366784,0.0,0.04269891082239774,0.0,0.0,0.03251523555358449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03507599110411225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335069799370952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804026370556353,0.0,0.0,0.168317366183475,0.045418632942262435,0.026898178020436227,0.0,0.03431218576389688,0.0,0.03660059528943578,0.0,0.0,0.04582643544439563,0.041183107374778816,0.0,0.039101949850851664,0.08922349732704163,0.11166448956877176,0.0,0.0,0.13395708539825552,0.12585473039110606,0.0,0.10638447010967393,0.03906669461394828,0.04628939506619461,0.03415781634847536,0.0977134171566836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040207057153629294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918721683652874,0.04302771793355683,0.0,0.04044866232025153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501168923379025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042408346961055214,0.022381145001530326,0.033195939768382844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752990128137424,0.09947977853565634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03675549203289938,0.03853454934392617,0.08155185045127815,0.04128829685987003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04320230680774676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656749316851567,0.0,0.030196734244906424,0.28268351860209995,0.07866403904437368,0.043311015827144674,0.0,0.0,0.0390762994637985,0.0,0.12820067873586424,0.13011093458902534,0.13798002892577865,0.15486425870390902,0.0,0.0,0.2713187280991616,0.04410071387064005,0.07775237293818907,0.0846998158239396,0.0711182040945696,0.04254848195350113,0.0,0.07699571709535462,0.0,0.039002856994891255,0.04143150320386002,0.0,0.11690366935135013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165778335030301,0.04073556583752572,0.0,0.0,0.12561484537852655,0.0402105753365232,0.0,0.0,0.10433561724989572,0.0,0.03238579290439248,0.0,0.2472924835157879,0.0,0.11122228932181967,0.04248458233399447,0.046007144291941034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034505774989467414,0.09405523354226984,0.04027761652398331,0.04558779418067418,0.08647512809604636,0.0,0.26018139520437017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030619789756132026,0.032732846811177566,0.03559504750936721,0.0374936897024044,0.0,0.0,0.1893890477729752,0.026094644177320887,0.0,0.06466147982151592,0.0949872392104844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19354505071694286,0.04429661082704445,0.03978196314983401,0.042395687778539866,0.0,0.070345862998653,0.0,0.06720402961422628,0.07206117568172489,0.09697574521803597,0.0,0.0,0.10984877086071054,0.0,0.03674756774269898,0.0,0.0,0.0785140166226878,0.0,0.02964795393057472,0.0,0.041501790751207135,0.057859096927655236,0.08905179425392212,0.0,0.2360274471031769
mentalhealth,_Socially_Awkward_,2018/02/28,"I haven't eaten all day and I'm scared to leave my room to make food I'm very socially anxious. I'm a student living in shared housing and I haven't cooked any meal since about a month. I rarely leave my room when I know that there are people in the kitchen. I just sneak out to the supermarket and buy whatever junk food I can manage to eat in my room without being seen.

I constantly buy raw meat that I want to prepare but I just always end up wasting it as it exceeds past its use by date. Yesterday I was really sure that I'll finally cook a meal because I have nothing left to eat in my room but I didn't manage to make myself leave the room because I've heard people in the kitchen from the morning until the evening. All day. 

Because of that, I've decided to punish myself and today is even worse. Since I have no food left in my room, I haven't eaten all day (it's 18:00 at the time I'm writing my post) and I'm too anxious to even leave my house to buy any food because if a housemate sees me, he/she might comment on how long its been since I've been seen. It's stressful for me.

I'm in this huge pile of mess for a while now. I have three bags filled with rubbish in my room that I've decided to hide in my wardrobe to not have to see it. Since there's expired meat in one of the bags, my wardrobe recently started to smell very bad and I'm too embarassed to put the bags into the trash bin because I would need to leave my house and be seen. People will imagine what kind of mess I have here and it's unbearable....

Is there anything that anyone can say to motivate me to somehow leave my room today and eat at least something little? I'm really ashamed of myself, my long-distance girlfriend is disappointed with the way I've been behaving recently (not being very present in conversations because I'm constantly tired) and I have no idea what to do. I want to do something about it but I'm failing miserably and I'm extremely hungry. 

Sorry for my poor grammar but I'm really exhausted and typing this with tears in my eyes... English isn't my first language but I've been living in the UK most of my life so there's no excuse. Sorry once again and thank you for your time.",2.993137193203274,4.310886702643169,4.1018967904342345,88.75754625550663,74.04405286343612,7.126897419760858,26.407551919446192,7.658307877764058,1.309175280050347,1729,61,370,22,35,563,196,454,0.18,0.778,0.042,-0.996,0,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,0,3,20,15,1,4,17,0,30,19,1,5,4,51,59,25,0,5,11,0,0,0,1,3,3,2,10,0,19,18,15,0,6,2,4,2,11,11,0,3,12,9,44,4,59,41,5,61,0,3,6,0,11,31,0,4,26,220,63,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820866023467625,0.0,0.0,0.09514440886959323,0.0,0.0,0.15805982373685287,0.0,0.0489145795547825,0.0,0.05756749523793867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058410000950690474,0.2558656935835181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119429506506074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534671719675972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474611866731488,0.0,0.0,0.061959894493464965,0.0,0.0,0.13861503497503658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663293645878436,0.0,0.05950419456498435,0.3383623394140002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421580974984989,0.0,0.07897135331641914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284798859826044,0.03844576628711223,0.0,0.0,0.4444372548109528,0.15201392036198594,0.0,0.049411706573392916,0.0,0.07011388559207568,0.12354414654253608,0.12381700288779855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339180762845953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421183279413013,0.0,0.0,0.055837889634892224,0.0,0.0,0.05187118832992374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712428146315501,0.0,0.0,0.07450042706729834,0.04740372258887341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678053240899014,0.14549520694790086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699812384275786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032469625207696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444603911677186,0.0,0.1381454238871681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055631498073041234,0.07003775585354445,0.0,0.1114911063058556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23147196898853795,0.0,0.0,0.07131092081857879,0.0,0.10771047166706968,0.0,0.15661912565200178,0.049514931194708296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801338993262679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593232172093005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440571433863569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158334166314117,0.08040366718322015,0.13261945139688855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041917444184619,0.0,0.1731620801297733,0.08252324649296539,0.05552749626104512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743469856282835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129072921016542,0.04969444856176726,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saintjackg,2018/02/28,Was recently perscribed zoloft for anxiety (advice needed) I am 16 y/o and was recently perscribed zoloft. Having heard a lot about side effects and dependance associated with taking mental health medications I want to know what some of you have experienced. Does it make things a lot easier and is it worth taking?,5.992909090909091,8.87747701818182,6.721818181818183,66.46272727272729,69.72727272727272,10.21818181818182,29.181818181818183,10.355215969177356,3.8776545454545452,256,10,38,8,5,84,44,55,0.032,0.857,0.112,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,3,0,13,13,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,5,10,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,2,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398056838517775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18773318103947587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475445705624205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608526884063399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348674716352505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172669494708767,0.0,0.0,0.1638088947458215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472184392569281,0.2473092393301049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196375560650052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846131534615266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690261267803864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303533319677507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474547759722622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madamezeroni,2018/02/28,"Mental health hack I just discovered... I struggle with depression and anxiety, and the depression gets way worse in the winter.  I also work from home so I tend to be super lazy and never get dressed. The other day I put shoes on to take my friend's dog for a walk, and I left them on all day and I found myself actually getting things done!  I did dishes, laundry, etc.  Now I try to get at least semi-dressed and put on sneakers in the morning, and it's not a miracle cure but it does help!  Just a friendly suggestion :)",1.1545833333333313,3.5697017019230763,2.9938461538461536,89.03448717948721,84.86538461538461,6.1589743589743575,23.08974358974359,7.492282038375204,1.1688743589743589,403,15,82,7,12,134,72,104,0.126,0.735,0.139,0.7467,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,5,6,0,1,7,0,3,3,1,0,2,15,10,10,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,4,8,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,3,0,12,3,12,6,3,16,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,0,5,56,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.17250902308021754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413686435486197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523405555885887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280133078460568,0.0,0.30451584481229405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546988977454632,0.18090442647729726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715327985430814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938270487618524,0.2731552148798585,0.0,0.36943511240151466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790587130786926,0.0,0.0,0.1184900145764541,0.0,0.1773219207684848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206891865353606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814981468168867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136341455875875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554197755471489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18480588649346189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291443594405256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174429005331433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002009834950778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031749377952654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869588932394374,0.0,0.1801510445466107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Icy_Throwaway,2018/02/28,"Have had suicidal thoughts for years. Should I see a doctor (US)? I haven't been able to hold a job, ever.

I haven't been able to force myself into social situations.

I go through periods of being exceedingly confident and happy, then quickly fall right back down the next day. This happens once probably every 3 weeks. One or two days of the go-getter attitude and the rest are black/gray.

I haven't been honest with health care providers because I don't know what to think about taking medicine; it's personally not something I support. But I don't know what to do.

I need to move forward with my life and I never will if I just keep falling back down. I've lost out on numerous opportunities, I'm 24, almost 25, with no job or prospects for the future, and I lost my ""high-school sweetheart"" a couple years back because of this.

I'm sorry about the blog-post here (or if this doesn't belong) but I just don't know where to turn. I have a serious problem and I'm only now coming to terms with dealing with it. Should I take anti-depressants? Does the data say they will actually help me?

Title is self-descriptive... I am _afraid_ of myself. I am the person I trust the least to turn my back to, if that makes sense.

Thank you for your responses in advance.",2.2008433734939783,4.511850963855423,3.506448192771085,87.66294939759037,79.52208835341366,6.393638554216868,22.811405622489964,7.554174236665415,1.0225609959839357,986,32,198,15,25,321,149,249,0.08,0.815,0.105,0.8733,2,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,2,1,4,13,13,0,1,12,0,23,3,0,1,2,39,47,14,1,7,11,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,2,8,13,0,2,5,0,0,7,10,5,0,2,7,2,28,8,30,35,3,33,0,2,1,0,11,9,0,7,19,133,36,3,0.22123055489006813,0.0,0.10794455434075056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107652220174795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402252819265503,0.0,0.1348600928732136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127796474770014,0.0,0.0,0.09528526697286556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239370055672795,0.0,0.1426754059569272,0.11403949394529675,0.09527277637725402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321942363562823,0.09680017471534977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000578512931814,0.09319814204523766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573042260416384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781672453207987,0.11775201972296498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757886732050232,0.0,0.0,0.07414308880142924,0.11687111382083565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953718929377045,0.09831994105813892,0.0,0.0,0.1823737909331126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813084174182151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414992842958077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383655663626643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756653423852265,0.0,0.08201982662440155,0.08531332118115821,0.0,0.117640602465756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780166038684366,0.07495577474263622,0.08412790301225137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316998726971046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593885890547636,0.0,0.11926197793171167,0.10584388159536903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944648425464514,0.0,0.0879657083964338,0.0,0.11194856624219177,0.08814605471544289,0.0,0.11539585867078052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433620644666417,0.0,0.11275834524485162,0.0,0.08515704475069001,0.0,0.12382474689356547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099515993884652,0.12552490599428145,0.0,0.0,0.16633784479506772,0.0,0.0,0.1018396858401682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708778033376351,0.0,0.08781617444496623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406353157673414,0.10805505303534946,0.0,0.13305655906649133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872890335572686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246522402054593
mentalhealth,rxrunning,2018/02/28,"My new psychiatrist doesn't agree with my current diagnosis (BP2, rapid) (USA) (cross post with r/BipolarReddit)

Starting in 2009 (age 17), I had increasingly awful depression, reaching a peak in late 2014 (age 22), when I checked myself into hospital for 5 days outpatient then 7 days inpatient. After this, my meds were switched from Paxil and Abilify to Effexor XR. In early 2017 (age 24), after gradually increasing the Effexor, I was bumped to 225mg a day. This sent me into a hypo manic episode for a week until I dropped it back to 150mg. My body couldn't keep up with my mind, I had no filter, and I did things without thinking.

This lead to my psych to change my diagnosis from Major Depressive Disorder to Bipolar Disorder Type 2, rapid cycling, as we believed that this wouldn't have happened if I didn't have bipolar, paired with how I had described my depressive episodes as wave-like/ebbing and growing for years. I added on lithium 300mg 2xday at this time.

Now I'm in a new state and have a new psych (age 25). I went to her last week for Rx refills and because I had the worst short-term depression in years. I couldn't work or even get out of bed for 5 days. She says the the Effexor Lithium combo seems to have helped with some issues (anxiety, bulimia, self-harm), but isn't doing enough for the depression. She upped my Lithium to 300mg 3xday and is seeing me March 13th. Her main issue is that I don't have any issues with sleep during my ""up"" periods. I sleep normally. When I'm depressed, I sleep a lot more and have trouble getting up in the morning.

What my issue is: If I don't have bipolar, what are the other possible disorders I could have? What runs similarly to bipolar but isn't? Is there such thing as cyclical depression? If I don't have bipolar, what the hell was that episode in early 2017? (I asked my new psych something like this when I saw her, but she didn't have an answer for me, just shrugged it off...) 

**I'm not asking that you diagnose me, just what is similar to bipolar**

Edit: Added info",5.120536130536131,5.894785676767678,5.844949494949492,80.28486013986014,68.49494949494951,9.223620823620825,31.644910644910645,9.367010060515213,2.763680574980574,1592,65,309,31,26,520,204,396,0.121,0.863,0.016,-0.9903,1,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,1,1,0,2,11,11,1,0,16,1,37,12,4,2,0,43,53,23,0,8,11,0,0,1,0,1,8,1,1,0,20,17,0,1,4,0,1,8,14,10,0,0,13,3,45,1,51,36,9,62,1,7,2,0,13,17,1,7,35,203,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875289973009407,0.0,0.06609344270447096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153900142637898,0.0,0.0,0.06643393408191899,0.0,0.05266678872003831,0.0,0.0,0.09733979510118132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596755270498948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139653446652277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898094736770663,0.0,0.0,0.22287558316139014,0.0,0.5208950630435538,0.08769110210470613,0.0,0.0,0.2970552252233968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927116150395939,0.0,0.057064381380757624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902776979275831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640055192695908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791006530934272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607039445254425,0.0,0.07679359330626909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042505874548212,0.09745954112008752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441838726353906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734516111233518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596755270498948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723630690874372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333770913521982,0.0,0.0,0.084650683114869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739959806727448,0.08274441134282927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870633528450842,0.0,0.0,0.06884719625052625,0.07865255323339745,0.09013087827983453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259378083325611,0.0,0.0,0.06651260559525025,0.0,0.0,0.06115221739645335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147966107406398,0.05535968741817613,0.0,0.0,0.0503787658079864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860486988660367,0.0,0.0,0.0800908532904805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832835923847369,0.0,0.06289802041491617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112736272619508
mentalhealth,bill-purray,2018/02/28,"I'm opening up and being truthful about my abuse for the first time in my life, and it's been helping. (tw, long) I'm 25(f) years old and I live in america, for context. I'm a new mom of a wonderful 8 month old daughter, and I have the most amazing step daughters (9 & 12 years), so I've been determined to recover by any means necessary so I can be the mom that I never had. 
My whole life, I've been in denial of the abuse I went through as a kid. My mentality was that I made it out alive, and there are plenty of people that have it worse. And why talk about it, no body wants to hear negative things, right? So I've always downplayed my issues in my head, and I couldn't understand why I was slowly breaking as a human. 
I recently found the r/cptsd sub and started reading it, just curious (i was a psychology major before I dropped out of college). Everything I read there hit home. I never gave it a thought that I might be suffering from untreated ptsd and what I went through was actual abuse. 


My real parents are addicted to drugs, so when CPS got involved, my mom's grandmother legally adopted me. 


She also had severe munchausen syndrome by proxy. From the age of 12 - 18 years old, she had me on more medication then I can count. A few that I remember off hand were klonapin, adderall, seroquel, ambien, geodon, lithium, and that's only a few. I have periods of my life that I simply don't remember. I would fall asleep in class. I would fall asleep midconversation. She also had me diagnosed with epilepsy and i never understood that one because I've never had a seizure in my life. I'm pretty sure I would know if I had one. (I've been to a LOT of concerts where they use a ton of flashing lights, I've also been a photographer for a pretty good number of years). But I honestly think she did that at the time, because I was 16, and asking about getting my drivers license. And she didn't want me to have one. (i never got one until I was 23). But I was a walking zombie, and everyone thought I was crazy as well, so I had no friends. She baker acted me over 15 times, I never knew why. She would tell the doctor I was a threat to myself, or I was threatening her, but that was never the truth. But no one ever looked into it because I was 'crazy' and I was on SSI, and all of those medications, so it must be legit, right? I tried telling my therapist what was going on at home, and I CLEARLY remember her telling me to my face that my mother was never capable of doing those things to me, because she adopted me and she loved me and she obviously did a lot of things for me. I ran away from home after that. I was trying to tell my therapist that right before therapy my adopted mom looked me in the face and told me that she wished I had died at birth, that I reminded her too much of my mom. 
I can remember when I was a little girl, maybe around 8 or 9 years old. Anytime she would get mad at me, she would slam her door so hard that overtime it knocked the fire alarm off of the wall (we lived in a mobile home). But when she would get mad at me, she would lock herself in her room for days at a time. Only coming out to get food. I can remember I would be crying at her door for over an hour, steadily apologizing. I would draw her letters, saying I'm sorry over and over and include little pictures on it and slide it under the door for her. Whenever she came out to get food I would see piles of them at the door, still untouched, and she would step on them on her way out the door. I promise that if you want to break a little girl's heart, that's the perfect way to do it.
It was never directly physical. Of course she would slap me, and push me against the walls or ground, but never hard enough to leave bruises or marks so I couldn't tell anyone. If we were in public and we messed up, she would pretend to hold my hand or arm in a loving manner, but she would actually be digging her very long nails into my skin. But I had a history of cutting so that report wouldn't be very believable either. I remember once she walked in on me cutting and she just stood there and said ""Do it, you won't."" and did nothing as I did. When I got raped, I tried to report it, and she told the officer that I was mentally ill and doing it for attention. So I got told I could be arrested for filing a false police report.    


It all ended when I was 18, because my benefits got cut. I was on SSI and got a $500 check a month in my name, that she cashed and I never saw. I also had medicaid for my insane amount of medicine that I had to ingest everyday. When I turned 18, that all ended because I was an adult. So she kicked me out! She told me I could come back if I appealed it and got back on ssi. I thought ""fuck that"" and figured living on the streets would be better than spending a minute in that house. I had just started dating a guy that lived an hour away, so I grabbed what I could and told him to pick me up and I moved directly in with him and his mom. It ended up being a shitty and dumb thing to do, because I didnt know him at all (we were only dating a month), we ended up being completely NOT compatible and i ended up being in a situation where I was stuck for awhile. (keep in mind, I had no license, no job experience, or anything, she kept me sheltered). I went through a long period of detox, because I had to quit the medicines that I was on cold turkey. I distinctly remember trying to fill ONE of the 5 prescriptions that I had to take daily, and just one of them (geodon iirc) was about $800 without insurance. So I had to quit cold turkey. Klonapin was one of them. I had been on that pill since I was 12. I thought I was dying. 
But I made it out. And now I'm 25, married to my best friend, and I have the family I lacked as a kid, and for the first time in my life I'm getting help for the abuse I went through as a kid. I think I might want to raise awareness for this type of abuse, I don't know where to even start, but I know when I was a kid I reached out to many people, and got turned away with them all saying that my mom was too nice to do anything that I was stating. I personally have friends who have had similar upbringings, and it goes untalked about and unnoticed TOO often. 


I'm really not sure what the point of this post was, and if you made it this far THANK YOU. I'm sorry for any grammar errors, or if it doesn't make sense. It's hard to put my thoughts into words a lot. And if this isn't allowed, please delete. SORRY!",4.142060350652585,4.316778437640032,5.2820508375120045,85.58461756285786,70.4488424197162,8.467303246914899,27.88969202318717,8.344100000000001,1.6677457519826446,5004,160,1099,70,84,1663,463,1339,0.111,0.8140000000000001,0.075,-0.9923,3,0,1,0,5,0,172.0,5,4,6,7,52,32,9,1,63,0,126,32,11,7,26,206,213,105,2,36,32,11,8,0,3,21,15,5,10,10,70,73,3,3,26,4,3,21,30,12,1,10,101,20,203,20,163,73,21,180,0,1,4,4,108,84,2,22,68,792,273,11,0.0,0.19366226825187896,0.06380169452203288,0.03563706246360609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456912745357153,0.027200803491632983,0.03541973774372261,0.0,0.044460813194385336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02285769610537897,0.0,0.05380237645599872,0.02910114275101232,0.030560854864270556,0.0,0.09214034809960048,0.05027337793629578,0.0,0.15942077858876325,0.0,0.055633778781224,0.03683057743749627,0.03430627030076823,0.028911759814555932,0.0,0.03631136040212626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037388795268936036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631929774486155,0.03427497503970052,0.0,0.0,0.07830121650956735,0.0,0.035908568279803786,0.021082426812230624,0.0,0.0,0.03317978965632296,0.06785437913651521,0.0,0.0,0.0334597290473688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037910167603992365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14476874297435258,0.03377763866555448,0.0,0.02159151984224084,0.029570090412280106,0.0,0.031236816192197068,0.02937977727819585,0.031977215863504355,0.030817341342129764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561240876407664,0.07905805997134567,0.035843035727645384,0.07576893051310564,0.030221494623376505,0.10247544925314088,0.0,0.018578551887375328,0.027418926623780426,0.20916223979074053,0.0,0.0,0.03236836416509499,0.0,0.0,0.0878517954062752,0.0,0.03354950026440149,0.0,0.036844147723697866,0.0387379565761391,0.043823004611200984,0.0,0.13116344662934162,0.0,0.0643863781539416,0.03772001621642091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034119998267526264,0.03243990577637476,0.029056485911339407,0.0,0.0,0.07186255307336599,0.0,0.0,0.03461412323565734,0.0,0.0,0.11545001338893693,0.0,0.09829228243714593,0.11546392028597505,0.08678919814239977,0.054902945057553484,0.0,0.0,0.08337592806442964,0.05900822984640219,0.09279656259309313,0.021820912874376576,0.03314265673403243,0.03284162530778435,0.0356091305327001,0.0,0.06586372531644702,0.06588791619434597,0.06935811518247308,0.0330077082412585,0.2680039624351155,0.07827883980954717,0.034744430366639774,0.0240310039030382,0.0,0.2773390440533796,0.03157232728936071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031367057448758284,0.0,0.1372111522007722,0.034813917182259776,0.17721340263986246,0.07458694143786787,0.0,0.0,0.036298516184960966,0.0,0.0,0.045326434442444,0.02854375700996885,0.0,0.035883941566349865,0.03090273534826115,0.0,0.03130810421692714,0.0665152206844901,0.0,0.0,0.03821300779998618,0.032862605592526115,0.0,0.06953994558170255,0.06539794460409927,0.03720852004185448,0.020942131723468926,0.0,0.03227755554992719,0.0,0.25922078051704184,0.08375156668202594,0.03109579568462915,0.05199300038616909,0.0,0.0,0.026049797929241145,0.0,0.0,0.03693053738099143,0.0,0.02704160994641729,0.03674507116262984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978175866055052,0.06941471807969775,0.0,0.026106376763088454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061620113558626996,0.0,0.024578906332706527,0.0262750849101975,0.14286305451620018,0.030096675862328788,0.0373840079276173,0.07591151149839834,0.0868714682838682,0.04189302540140604,0.0,0.12976154216971333,0.09530937646662534,0.0,0.0,0.15618408096098538,0.0,0.08877779857160134,0.0711149395241187,0.0,0.03403157393040948,0.0,0.028233772852588525,0.0,0.053945554891921085,0.07712593288685668,0.05189580066229724,0.0,0.0,0.02939234910115216,0.12121629683251292,0.08849326197496554,0.03649735812417533,0.03759203146627214,0.031512114807828485,0.03545104705999358,0.0,0.0,0.03331403107721286,0.3715540401044141,0.0,0.0,0.10525684642551296
mentalhealth,Pearlmasta,2018/02/28,"Sister is playing the role of her misdiagnoses 
TLDR; 18f sister gets a new serious diagnosis every week, and completely adopts the traits and symptoms of that mental illness after never having displayed them before. 


My (22) sister (18) was always the “perfect” child and I was always the problem child. About a year ago, she was off at her first and only year of boarding school as a senior, and everything changed. She started needing to fly home on the weekends because she was feeling depressed and suicidal. She kept kind of playing this role of being super depressed, but at the time we were all thinking, okay she’s 17, about to graduate high school, she’s just going through a hard time.

We got her home after graduation, started her in therapy, and everything basically went to shit. The very first time she went to this therapist, she walked out and told us she has “severe depression, anxiety disorder, and PTSD”. She comes out and tells us she was molested as a child.............. I’m never ever one to doubt someone’s claim of sexual assault, but we grew up together. My mom, dad and I have wracked our brains for the last 8 months and everyone is about 95% sure that never happened. She never displayed any signs of abuse growing up, she was completely healthy, normal development, no issues whatsoever. The way she describes this event, the person and the circumstance, just simply never existed or happened. I’m not discounting it 100% but........ we’re almost positive it’s a false memory.

Every week she goes to this therapist and comes home with a new diagnosis, and she is so into it. She tells all of her friends and all of Twitter how mentally ill she is, just really playing into the role. Every time she gets a new diagnosis, she looks it up on webmd and just completely adopts those new traits. She NEVER displayed those symptoms until she became diagnosed with them.

She clearly is thriving off of the attention her mental illness is giving her, tweeting about it and texting her friends about it every day, so we as a family kind of decide to stop babying her about it. Of course we’re still loving and supportive but we’re not catering to her every whim to accommodate her being “too ill” to do anything. Then, allegedly, she starts hearing voices. She starts hallucinating. Literally two days after her first “hallucination”, she sees her therapist and comes home diagnosed with schizophrenia.

This is just absolutely insane at this point. We pull her from that therapist and she starts seeing my psychiatrist, who is very level headed and I trust completely. He says something to her about her mood swings running in the family, and that these  “bipolar tendencies” are genetic. (I’m not sure on the wording here, I wasn’t at the meeting but my mom was very clear that he didn’t say that we were bipolar, just that we have bipolar type mood swings.) Again, she takes the diagnosis and runs with it. He also tells her that all of her other diagnosis’s were basically trash and that they had to start over with diagnosing. I don’t think she heard that part.

At this point, she believes she has severe depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. This all happened in just a few months, and we NEVER saw this in her before. 

She’s waaaayy too ill to do homework, go to school or look for a job, and how dare we even ask her to do those things when we know how sick she is. Of course, spending hours every day with her friends, going to the movies or the mall, hanging out doing whatever they want, is essential for her because if she can’t see her friends then she’ll kill herself. I recently tried to move my bedroom into the basement, and she freaked out because SHE wanted the basement, and said if she can’t have the basement she’ll kill herself. If she can’t take the car out at 1 AM, she’ll kill herself. If they turn off the WiFi at night, she’ll kill herself. If they don’t give her an allowance (why??????), she’ll kill herself. If she has to get a job, she’ll probably end up killing herself. 

She tells our psychiatrist that she’s suicidal, they send her to an inpatient facility for 10 days, we go to see her every day, yesterday she tells us that she also has borderline personality disorder. So that’s where we’re at now.

My mom and I are absolutely at our wits end. We just can’t believe that these medical professionals would diagnose her with these serious mental illnesses after speaking to her for half an hour. We also are sure that she’s not being truthful with them, and that she’s claiming or acting different at these appointments than she does at home, because if they knew her in her day to day life they would never say she has all these illnesses.

They’re keeping her inpatient now for at least another week. She’s convinced she has depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and BPD.  (The PTSD is gone at this point, she doesn’t even tell new doctors about the assault anymore, I think she favors hearing voices.) 

WHAT do we do? Seriously, what the hell is going on? 
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mentalhealth,Sylabull,2018/02/28,"Why can't I function like a human being???!!! I can't imagine anything
I can't read my emotions or other people's emotions 
I can't think forwards
I'm stuck in the left side of my brain 
I don't get ""feelings"", only external physical feelings
I've never fully connected with someone 
I don't know how to be open minded 
I don't know what I want 
I can't stop second guessing myself or anyone else 
I can't stop thinking deeply about things
I can never go with ""the flow"" I'm always speeding ahead without my control 
I can never back myself up
I'm constantly thinking that I need to explain myself 
I can never move on from basically anything
I feel like I'm too conscious but at the same time unconscious 
I just don't know what to do and I need answers
Nothing fucking works for me and it's bs. I'm sick of this world going against me like I did something wrong. 

Sorry for the long lost but I needed somewhere to put all this stuff. ",2.411154912226671,4.315563167539271,4.0514505697567005,86.02698798891286,77.01047120418848,5.750662149676624,26.942100400369572,6.522977012572876,1.2174678780412689,739,30,142,6,17,247,110,191,0.136,0.847,0.017,-0.9579,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,5,6,1,0,5,0,17,3,1,2,5,40,43,7,0,4,6,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,5,0,3,13,1,0,6,15,3,0,1,3,3,27,3,19,38,2,26,0,1,0,1,2,9,1,3,16,94,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320884221476156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672965677130444,0.12709071452025164,0.2041440056774224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537690922671213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846647693141298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404009025658645,0.13911820678203482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361711971954753,0.2790501895166405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815072435969304,0.08861216217309932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146703431403333,0.06480428955041427,0.0,0.1409863374743837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366409008329008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450271543211207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476672249313448,0.0,0.0,0.1817948531206588,0.0,0.0,0.10976897134405032,0.0,0.0,0.13540119761922798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524215884986034,0.0,0.0,0.1318318568293519,0.0,0.27591591716344144,0.3826603758097581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190169872726764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433583916630127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859917395816437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469159142332925,0.0,0.0,0.12407071261498585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509627163032473,0.09548985520664567,0.0,0.13884943032584876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074012168149984,0.0,0.0,0.14199285700255942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824047685377414,0.2384339850410688,0.0,0.0,0.0723270575470835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316032263931482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192423188348333,0.0,0.0,0.11956738285525442,0.0,0.09030051985565116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561514791270074,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kidgazman,2018/02/28,"Fatigued, 20 years old. So something is definitely catching my attention. I used to think that I was just a social idiot, but I’m starting to think that I’m just socially disinterested.

I’m a 20 year old in my junior year of college working in the it department. I’ve noticed for a few years that feel as though I’m lacking drive in my life. 

This lack of drive or case of fatigue is making it hard to do things that are fun, carry out social interactions, and grind out my homework with my full attention.


Things to note:

I get plenty of sleep(8 hours)
I eat plenty of food
I keep busy, and don’t let myself sit around a bunch

Before I got a job and started taking my school seriously, I felt depressed, but I feel like that was just a symptom of the fatigue. Now that I’m so busy I don’t have time to think about being depressed, but the lack of energy still lingers.

I feel like this lack of energy is making life much more of a chore than it should be, and I would like to know if anyone has any scientific and medical advice that I could implement to cure or fix this.


",5.235232187167672,5.295784036866358,6.1458064516129065,80.73101736972706,68.07834101382488,9.073236440978377,29.595533498759302,8.841846274778883,2.1417602977667496,844,28,173,13,13,280,117,217,0.135,0.769,0.096,-0.7762,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,10,11,1,0,10,0,17,9,0,3,0,39,39,15,0,8,9,0,5,3,0,2,7,0,2,0,15,9,2,1,10,0,0,4,2,7,0,0,4,5,19,4,27,29,9,24,0,5,0,0,4,7,0,3,15,116,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099160273380798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419915403420318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657505506385361,0.0,0.0,0.1102225274356094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535833181064297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988570341127143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132851501814957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669472113489647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781533247268464,0.17690840953498255,0.11888281676166892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497188488224329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468877135067035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990269991761167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091485321023313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193386000804865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286831603273275,0.11005338666412323,0.0,0.0,0.06804605832400246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661029119898426,0.17490986353463267,0.1814707910207437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529633826028006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247316356752174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101903693853138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096538386351495,0.2598482148505164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253084441930335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390545993677453,0.3786445852779863,0.0,0.09531963782992864,0.0,0.0,0.1752752628636534,0.0,0.09887965065955273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869227540536982,0.0930942540907531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451575249492995,0.2380089597086285,0.12164863209824517,0.0,0.07219812948478115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069373058467592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901395528338377,0.0,0.0,0.08795536340620952,0.0,0.0,0.3189338849593664
mentalhealth,cranberryxbby,2018/02/28,"my life is falling apart it may not actually be, but i was doing okay for a while. now i wake up everyday and i just want to die. i’ve stopped making an effort to get to school on time or even go sometimes, and my parents aren’t happy about it because it’s my senior year and i graduate in like 3 months. i constantly attempt to cancel my plans last minute because usually i’ll have a breakdown before i have to leave. sometimes i have to leave class and go cry in the bathroom because i’m too anxious or depressed to deal with being around other students and teachers. i quit my job and have been gaining weight with no motivation to work out or eat better. most days i come home from school and lay in bed until it’s time to wake up for school the next day",4.5155769230769245,4.955078378205133,5.319641025641027,84.7086923076923,69.7051282051282,7.778461538461538,29.70256410256411,7.554174236665415,1.7074225641025638,601,22,124,6,10,196,102,156,0.163,0.705,0.132,-0.5023,3,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,8,6,5,0,0,5,1,12,5,2,2,0,24,19,13,1,1,6,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,5,12,2,1,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,2,1,14,4,24,14,1,29,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,5,17,79,19,10,0.0,0.0,0.1361818494292943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765314443879927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423016253808696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552073651215315,0.0,0.11874780038249548,0.0,0.0,0.1234217038057542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021100980015087,0.0,0.15080528039749327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329045020937673,0.17999796997591275,0.1438711687523128,0.1201952517804783,0.0,0.1448321225934852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279572575125796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217225737132267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290974691156142,0.0,0.1586203360079825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855485686927716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998124088487882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848304177605095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375286094432233,0.0,0.2955291613439818,0.0,0.0,0.098569145899489,0.06817767168812867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931515156056522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138844358605854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841429389009106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495510276455438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842988841398871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236998212163873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760394279293882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166710593699792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274686435728655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536959410098682,0.0,0.08231091868464936,0.0,0.0,0.16993577718402225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159494216098333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986640319636975
mentalhealth,ams1202,2018/02/28,"I feel like I’m on the verge of a life changing breakdown I have never felt so lonely in my life. Yet, I’m completely surrounded by people I know and care about. 

To make a long story short, I feel like everyone that is important in my life, that I spend my days with, either already does or will soon no longer have the same impact or effect.

It started when I dropped out of school. I lost touch with many of my friends from school, and of the three that I kept in touch with, one lives 2 hours away, one lives 5 hours away, and the other is too busy to actually spend any time with. This was last spring.

In October of 2017, my parents announced they’re separating after 25 years together. They haven’t gone through with filing for a divorce yet, but they’ve been living separately since then. The holidays were depressing.

I’m the middle of three boys, always been close to my brothers. But my older brother, who still lives in town with my mother, works 3rd shift so I never see him. My younger brother lives an hour away and is in his senior year of an extremely difficult major, so I hardly get to see him.

I was very close with my aunt, my moms sister. But she’s recently gotten engaged and has her finance’s son, daughter in law, and their two children living with her. So I don’t get to see or talk to her much anymore. So it’s like my family isn’t the same and isn’t in my life like they were.

My relationship sucks, my boyfriend and I fight and bicker constantly and there’s so much distance there, but he used to work with me until he resigned. So I lost that time with him. He’s starting a new job soon, working a different shift, so we won’t have the same time at home.

We currently live with my best friend, I’ve known her literally my entire life. We’ve always worked or went to school together, and we’ve lived together for the past year. She worked with me up until she quit yesterday, and in April, she’s moving into a new apartment as am I. So I won’t have her like I do now.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve been developing a friendship with a guy I work with. About two weeks ago he told me that he and his boyfriend are moving to a new town, 45 minutes farther than my hour-long commute to work. Then he was fired on Monday. So I’m not going to have him in my life in the same way. 

I just feel so lonely. I have never felt so lonely yet still so surrounded by people I know and love. It’s honestly one of the most depressing things I’ve ever experienced. ",4.817317990564838,4.964699583003952,5.467506056355988,84.93556483488463,68.9802371541502,8.742470993242383,27.587402779548643,8.558390810932622,1.6910920056100984,1943,57,417,28,31,630,228,506,0.081,0.8220000000000001,0.097,0.8367,4,6,0,0,2,0,58.0,2,0,3,12,29,23,2,0,24,0,28,7,0,3,4,68,59,42,0,0,11,10,9,5,2,3,6,0,1,3,12,35,0,1,9,1,3,5,11,11,0,8,17,13,63,12,67,39,10,88,0,8,3,1,48,32,1,5,54,268,75,13,0.0,0.0,0.06212696323809705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643437002034515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025490082923055,0.0,0.10594723737237438,0.0,0.0,0.04329376088764526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313766520171679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944351045888024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681152937328405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490977757609863,0.0,0.06734816030069549,0.0,0.06675058179035713,0.06879825872999626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105806798222294,0.0,0.10966756612652197,0.0,0.0,0.06651541854325044,0.0,0.0,0.05571286974790517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057587809657830315,0.0,0.06083376141609061,0.0,0.0,0.06001683331458262,0.0,0.0965714226986527,0.09096326999093036,0.12225501079116982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837342818435764,0.0,0.06652371347659425,0.0,0.03618176660575845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303745333496576,0.0,0.0,0.057030515197593085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386026803809386,0.0,0.2507851980152511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317678076466082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997623223695147,0.05189472635107318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698069557450529,0.15551528050096658,0.0,0.4497324269941523,0.1126814235442136,0.0,0.0,0.1389937384901345,0.0,0.057459322262147984,0.0,0.042496271051232166,0.064545389646886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456260682463249,0.0,0.13532969393917435,0.09360085541571607,0.0,0.1473050011956239,0.18446150982744616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942129476634973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069143217949399,0.0,0.12154914561620417,0.08827332087072629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771459089133998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286060337702977,0.0683514015973321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329435844066573,0.15219609921967836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052663588941508785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901235339829622,0.0,0.10168444092845884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117077991494408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04229558914495292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136911968900448,0.0,0.0,0.06083376141609061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243811204486762,0.0,0.0,0.05498532856301512,0.0,0.052529537510508435,0.0,0.050533587299076387,0.05106748877332555,0.0,0.0,0.059017244554305286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244374844580417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399033354645792
mentalhealth,lethal-silence,2018/02/28,"Why am I not under control of my imaginations? Hi, I am a 21 year old Man from Australia, I am currently seeing a psychologist for my anxiety and depression problems, But recently I asked my Psychologist, when I try to imagine a situation like, I played soccer (and was pretty good at it hue hue) I would imagine a situation where i'm in front of an open goal and I would kick a ball towards the goal and it would never go in, Like no matter how close i got to the goal even if I was up to the line on the goal, when I kicked the ball, it literally wouldn't go in, like there was a force field in front of it.

But when I said something like ""if this ball goes in i'm a piece of shit"", and it would go in. I know it sounds weird, it sounds like a small problem, but I never got why my mind did that, I also have problems focusing. could there be an underlying psychological problem, or add/adhd? I asked my psychologist about it, he said he wasn't sure, and sort of moved on, I find this tends to be a problem in my life. does anyone have any advice? Thanks :) ",3.964200524246394,4.281107215596332,5.530563564875493,83.14559633027523,70.88073394495413,8.797378768020971,27.03931847968545,8.841846274778883,1.7285887287024893,815,25,182,14,14,278,109,218,0.119,0.78,0.101,-0.5978,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,5,10,17,1,0,16,0,18,2,1,2,3,39,33,17,0,13,7,0,0,5,0,5,1,4,0,1,11,8,0,1,5,5,0,6,6,8,0,0,9,5,23,9,26,16,1,33,0,1,1,0,8,18,1,4,14,120,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344392358282028,0.10850328043773544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879560156219228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550841724853394,0.0,0.08494238194280991,0.0,0.0,0.07763908623619609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760769898420486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453652943486578,0.08865336315259363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563530832078514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716851871463396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333835673000266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148506668179444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893132779626211,0.0931318886572592,0.17761157005503891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102258654474944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842814520020111,0.2712333705326301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211489971638948,0.0,0.0,0.1180138983835848,0.0,0.0,0.1712759108168103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165138038100074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296372414207315,0.0,0.5312331935284337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096348427803572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124168871716914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088481468059587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139770540893886,0.0,0.2496186610932529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548108431490496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046502956467388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022272061858548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753862848576655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20038578300927531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155076962708989,0.0,0.0,0.07150366632669831
mentalhealth,IndividualLesson,2018/02/28,"Is this a sickness or disorder ? I haven't felt positive emotions to anyone for a loooong time(or felt too little, I do not know). By positive emotions I mean love and attachment(like missing someone) I have always wanted to have these emotions after I read a book or watched a film or saw some couple holding hands hugging etc.

My possible ""love"" interactions had only been with my family and relatives of the family. I would run away from people who are trying to kiss me (I would even run away from my mother; I do not remember her doing anything bad to me, not even a slap)

Apart from that I have always wanted to have a girlfriend but never had any because I just did not go talk to a girl I found attractive, I was just a coward.

What comes to my mind to link this is probably my sensitivity, in my childhood where we live other boys would take my football ball and play with it themselves while excluding me from them, when I would try to leave they would destroy my ball or kick it so far that I can not reach(I live in a place called ""site"" where it is surrounded by walls and consists of apartments: like a community). They would also try to make me cry by saying mean things and excluding etc., I would cry in bursts violently. Then when I hit the adolescence age I discovered video-games, I would not leave home after that. I would just play for hours : 6-10 hours a day. Then as my ""masculine"" urges started to appear, I discovered porn : I fapped and fapped whatever. Also being in home and my father being a sugar addict also made me an obese over the years. I never got bad grades in my life tho, with a little effort I would easily pass my exams. I had friends in school but not where I lived. Also after I hit adolescence I had become the most girl-phobic(timid/shy) person I've known. That also made me close up the walls with the outside world, I played more and more video-games endlessly numbing all my thoughts and emotions.

I recently quit video-games, porn and unhealthy eating habits but an endless stream of negative thoughts I just ... I can't take it
I have been numbing my mind with video-games for the last 9-10 years now I don't know what to do in life.

I do not believe that I will ever be happy because I don't feel any sort of positive emotions. For example, I live with my parents I hadn't seen my mother for months(there is no family issues), when she saw me entering through the door, she just ran to me and tried to hug me while I felt nothing and kept my distance and then she asked ""do you feel nothing at all"", I shook my head. The only emotions I have been able to feel my entire life was Fear, sadness, anger, shame/shyness, hopelessness and such.

What do you think might be the case with me ? Withdrawal effects of my bad addictions ? Or years of hardcore/compulsive gaming destroyed my brain ? Or daily PMO ?

I can not afford to go to a psychiatrist or therapist, because I don't have money and going to college while living with my parents, also my father had been retired for the last 16 years, he won't spend any dime on these sort of things.",5.5117458922766005,6.116461749582638,5.88384192953168,80.95425951146652,67.5642737896494,8.909603725507425,29.953475090062383,8.916525866297963,2.3115348914858096,2424,85,467,39,38,778,270,599,0.146,0.787,0.067,-0.9949,3,0,0,0,0,1,84.0,1,2,3,3,25,26,4,2,27,0,56,21,3,4,5,98,95,43,0,12,24,6,7,1,2,13,9,1,3,3,20,26,3,2,18,9,3,11,20,14,0,0,27,13,86,12,64,49,8,68,0,3,4,7,31,28,0,13,30,330,106,6,0.056883695937383724,0.0,0.0,0.12402324984124476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729392265376749,0.09466358375555163,0.0,0.0,0.11604859158741228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03977440281122716,0.0,0.046810434951460256,0.0,0.053178576966945584,0.0,0.10688820965987544,0.0,0.14248653022244634,0.10402731920415582,0.06282357303782485,0.0,0.06408844601028453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350101723386169,0.05808461353054814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900026722339742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294072760952664,0.1249681378692641,0.03668527800886055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519364371654109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058206221974202485,0.0,0.38391900956039743,0.0,0.0,0.12688071499225098,0.07514228936745701,0.05145455962841603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608746580314154,0.06400997253839312,0.08628631748929777,0.0,0.16385180596389168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237003652669471,0.04394820237511391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969849458595074,0.0,0.04549508806564315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060553752073372914,0.0,0.0,0.05837908297843095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411797007653485,0.0,0.11203796430070748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059371799710453026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252358330003838,0.09273560870945724,0.0,0.1204632412807788,0.0,0.0,0.12053591007396094,0.02779050052853952,0.11402481442475575,0.25114672835165275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267951294251247,0.1076494569723608,0.03797030874734157,0.0,0.0,0.12392604180540175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034461213363473,0.11487263435568465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774442615105928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916288082736587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652522807577978,0.0,0.0,0.12632522521381634,0.0,0.0,0.03943599243771112,0.04966864918608852,0.05943135517704767,0.0,0.0,0.06412782023703048,0.0,0.0,0.06133024520893625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050281258194187,0.056899089473362266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056165787237955726,0.0,0.06443813868324733,0.0,0.0,0.045236198153783526,0.0,0.05756933716421993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819737097317478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026257276325641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553892016321239,0.04572096007836328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604635529378385,0.0755819999617593,0.036448775493703005,0.0,0.09031860120757602,0.03316934054765358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544811823904645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710295533922205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.404085455209496,0.0,0.0,0.14652494071378036
mentalhealth,wivlove,2018/02/28,"Research looking into relationships and abuse comparing hope, self-esteem & happiness Hi, I'm not sure if this is allowed here as I've never used Reddit before, I'm currently a psychology student writing up my thesis in relationships. Please, could anybody who has a spare 2 minutes fill out my quick questionnaire? I really need more participants for the research, it specializes in looking into hope, self-esteem & happiness in abusive/ non-abusive relationships, anybody can take part and its COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS, please click the link below if you want to take part

https://boltonss.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2sJeLlvPKuK7o5D

so sorry if this is not allowed, admin please delete if this is the case",10.649334975369458,12.117141913793109,9.183201970443351,58.73913793103453,56.58620689655172,11.800985221674873,40.709359605911324,11.491704259439757,5.386173891625615,586,28,76,15,7,180,81,116,0.064,0.748,0.188,0.9354,3,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,3,2,23,17,8,0,9,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,6,11,16,3,12,0,0,3,0,7,8,0,6,3,47,10,3,0.0,0.4297703083797101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620085600610267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288420523247364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677023360895912,0.0,0.0,0.09653557731538344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25741863568316603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401787901727207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20306533156345416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965210073804597,0.09325206818414526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618641877286631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981635858150716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745706387178003,0.0,0.0,0.3894313539561681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522678130906525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353471366527163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395480495302485,0.0,0.1818162489712002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442610026817424,0.0,0.0,0.07131495003315658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,planmyvision,2018/02/28,"How To Love Yourself - Plan My Vision Some days you might feel unaccomplished, unattractive, behind on your goals, unmotivated and unenthusiastic. First of all, this is completely ok. Life would be boring if everything always went to plan. The irony is we need these bad days in order to know what the good ones are, forgive yourself.
Here are 3 easy ways to start loving yourself more right now.

1. Reflect on your greatest memories and accomplishments

Set a timer for 10 minutes and list everything that ever made you feel alive throughout your entire life. Think about your oldest memories as a child, a teenager, a young adult and recent months. Think about places you’ve been, people you’ve met, challenges you conquered, the things you’ve learnt, things that have made you laugh until your stomach ached. Indulge in this practice and feel how it felt to have those experiences. Smile and give sincere thanks. That brings me to the next point.

2. Make gratitude a daily ritual

Gratitude has been scientifically proven to improve your emotional, physical and spiritual well being. This little beauty brings greater levels of optimism and heightened energy levels. It is even known to decrease stress, anxiety, depression and headaches. The list of scientific benefits go on and on, gratitude is just one superpower at our disposal that we have infinite amounts of.

We can be more grateful day to day and in any given moment at any given time. Brushing your teeth? Challenge yourself to mentally list everything you can possibly think of to be grateful for. At work? Speak up about every little thing you notice to be positive. At home? Find new compliments to show you adore your loved ones each day.

Make it your daily duty to notice the blessings around you each day and to speak of them proudly out loud. When done consistently you will notice people around you become more grateful for you too and you powerfully attract even more things to be grateful for into your life.

3. Update your story

No. I’m not talking about your Instagram or SnapChat story. I’m talking about the one you tell yourself about yourself every day whether you realise you’re doing it or not. We create our lives with the stories we tell ourselves. The negative self-talk that you can’t do this, or have that or go there needs to be replaced with a new story.

Take out a pen and paper and re-write your story. You can list things, draw or write in paragraphs, theres no right or wrong. Include the greatest qualities you want to have, be specific about accomplishments you want to achieve, what you want to be known for, who you want to serve and how you’ll give back. Consider all areas of your life, family, career, health and personal. This is who you are, this is your identity.

You can program your mind so this becomes your new story that you identify with not just consciously but subconsciously too. How? According to Napoleon Hill and Dr Steve Peters, there is power in repetition and we can program our brains for almost anything by repeating it 12 times daily. Make a commitment to yourself right now, commit to recharging your mind as often as you do your mobile. How? Affirm your new identity to yourself X12 per day until it over rides your old identity.

Original article: https://planmyvision.co.uk/blog/how-to-love-yourself/",6.019142367066891,8.650512082332764,5.493592109777016,76.44401080617496,68.82847341337907,8.437584905660378,29.841818181818184,9.120678840339163,2.8519791012006874,2676,106,429,55,50,817,288,583,0.04,0.8140000000000001,0.146,0.9936,3,0,0,0,0,0,85.0,9,46,1,14,32,23,0,1,18,1,41,12,3,11,5,94,78,40,0,8,14,0,4,0,0,4,6,3,1,3,31,35,0,1,14,1,0,6,7,5,1,6,10,8,58,18,75,55,13,74,2,1,0,3,75,30,0,11,35,297,89,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992836600867693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058107235083915285,0.0,0.0,0.09497862535946336,0.0,0.05342259158427287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746718727929645,0.1243336023925764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053697806961942124,0.058308224975629576,0.0,0.15425167662137332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795750784174936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321930886121927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602956894400707,0.0,0.06014766598960184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146412382254909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855351641632599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922490043118053,0.06316858233866225,0.1176758132121937,0.0,0.1882860878218906,0.06831076148472268,0.06583300006484077,0.0,0.10593005538060317,0.0,0.0670513061823492,0.0,0.06382673931718161,0.05940051202220925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339817022979034,0.07937620536617658,0.0585731967648204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422996062406888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004889791263087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837877681121516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973024383782094,0.0,0.13998343257927898,0.06166443908386196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25211057347076565,0.13215667640687542,0.13984361688363994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037594747287232,0.07408252306085253,0.14102426517996589,0.0,0.0557405954118065,0.0,0.0,0.10356161169891888,0.0,0.2697833017342325,0.07426893529278047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23851840085923545,0.07327872391267456,0.0,0.1892844976138759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682779343165092,0.0609760957710901,0.07296135619682467,0.0,0.06601542149921348,0.0787270073263766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895235682470477,0.0,0.0,0.1789128021654086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285178230169106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049428654353064885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999427074200803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250625367811038,0.16838905544054822,0.1220754687799214,0.06429349118729827,0.0,0.0,0.2319720459364533,0.13423985119362705,0.0,0.0,0.08144118751126056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647589092249203,0.0554307428800714,0.0,0.0,0.06278888560826927,0.06473654223316502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083976743517435,0.0,0.0,0.049607858921719886,0.0763521914557062,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MojoP1n,2018/02/28,"My mental health is deteriorating and I'm scared Hey there, I'm 17 years old and have been suffering from anxiety for some time now, but i quit therapy because i thought i was dealing with it (something stupid that I definetely shouldn't have done). 

Well, i've recently started having a lot of really scary, violent intrusive thoughts regarding people i love (mostly my mom), and even though i know they're just thoughts, i can't manage to calm myself down when i have them, which leads to panic attacks almost all the time. I also started to be anxious 24 hours a day. I feel like i'm constantly alert, and unable to breathe. I feel like i'm dangerous, and i'm so scared.

I'm going back to therapy, but i really need advice on what to do in the meantime. Sorry about the overall lack of coherence in this text. If you had the pacience to read it, thank you, really.",6.082958579881655,6.246209514792903,6.8507041420118355,76.04718047337279,66.27810650887574,10.54698224852071,32.876331360946736,10.355215969177356,3.339378224852072,684,27,130,16,10,227,114,169,0.252,0.652,0.096,-0.9817,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,2,11,14,4,3,6,0,13,3,1,1,1,25,31,12,0,4,4,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,1,0,2,2,8,1,0,7,2,18,6,17,22,5,19,0,1,0,1,7,4,0,5,15,83,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317866347660108,0.0,0.0,0.13504588737267087,0.0,0.0,0.10784995130741766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316988223849977,0.1523568860250887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534262157909808,0.0,0.10370137906900397,0.0,0.08221127796931564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573907167720188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697552558811604,0.139037907159547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801174784677586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907578825013071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638164448205625,0.1926924135860552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766457927003512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335314085376932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328129614899337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741172183274685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177457121860947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146557625044347,0.12171918941366328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591025814884958,0.0,0.0,0.15795000194846834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999992602993834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415161094297008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823275910595466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349707445396647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344347949612613,0.13489956955582125,0.0,0.25919021512185425,0.0,0.13316101526916654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700429276397706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038241829423353,0.0,0.15096816959658216,0.19091355539233984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241637988309112,0.30845535640218713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250228516591608,0.3211986484816217,0.15727948562072164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125809965383287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684739779858372
mentalhealth,ThereRnonamesleft-,2018/02/28,"Can't love or connect. (I've never posted in Reddit before, so I have no clue if this is the right place for this, or if I'm doing it right)

So, for about three/four years now, It has become nearly impossible for me to love or connect with people. I like their company, but I don't care if they stay or leave. I can get up, walk away from a friendship and pretty much just forget about it, easy as could be. As though it never existed in the first place. I don't even care that I'm alone, or don't feel loved.
 
However, I did connect and (platonically) love one person, very much, for two years. But, shit happened, and we no longer talk. I was severely depressed for some time after that. 
They were the last person I could connect with, and ever really felt a true connection with. My lack of feeling love went away almost entirely after that. 

I don't know what's wrong with me. Google has not helped clear it up any. ",3.278818532818533,4.557856221621623,4.2976254826254845,87.78682432432434,73.27027027027026,7.231660231660233,21.86293436293436,7.7094869923839395,0.7284826254826258,711,16,151,9,14,231,114,185,0.252,0.643,0.105,-0.9846,1,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,3,1,9,12,1,0,5,0,17,6,1,0,5,36,33,19,0,6,12,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,10,3,0,3,5,3,16,9,25,25,4,26,0,1,0,5,13,11,1,10,12,107,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175851190540638,0.12161786239377065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985366745948312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065107640078507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296877275636796,0.09992082805339536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394471483723627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751011975395251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113879202230784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755872740739092,0.10621848755691478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874816934600613,0.0,0.112747319438348,0.0,0.0,0.0998824465187296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061350208265757586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038393729556026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787081338795701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645342269249666,0.0957178155922703,0.0,0.1243371179099713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057368383985953425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5299074876257995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264315755997792,0.0,0.18113225153651608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957085749813793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140836307393644,0.2050636069433101,0.24537023369558086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246159317846477,0.11946439868994922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522606548949777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005622262102272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265789081402202,0.1205360422972218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516043045475414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438252439132433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153703920888355,0.0,0.06847201125954848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470808295359805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688870022289102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885502493638434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838683405306345,0.0,0.15123691373882878
mentalhealth,Psychogay0120,2018/02/28,I don’t know what to do Umm this is my first post on this site and I wanna say before I get into my actual thoughts hello!! But anyway I don’t know what to do because I feel like shit most day even with friends I have this nagging feeling that I don’t belong or that I’m just not good enough and It annoys me and brings me down and I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore so I turned to weed and it seems to help but then when I come out the feeling is still there like it’s been waiting for me and it’s just got me down so low that I don’t know how to bring myself up anymore ,0.7640259740259729,1.9116168721804527,2.4337252221462755,99.1491934381408,79.52631578947368,5.1371155160628845,18.85782638414217,4.851557810540192,-0.7068586466165416,456,9,117,1,11,150,74,133,0.09,0.812,0.098,-0.2614,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,12,8,3,0,1,0,11,1,1,2,0,32,28,15,0,1,7,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,13,11,0,1,9,0,0,3,6,4,1,1,3,4,18,4,16,25,2,17,0,1,0,0,5,8,1,3,7,85,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.18583716619487792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777208532237731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608745640480544,0.0,0.1620462257447575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404295800288354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281487144335547,0.19633020413602575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967703427749391,0.0,0.12578057342777504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888690931334669,0.13604685825500087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198398063578426,0.0,0.0,0.147129669388427,0.0,0.09949446868883327,0.0,0.0,0.1597279088601326,0.1523083289906257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764461903560065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41863255572535024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607392038488707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823841642512621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144161806546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336494338290132,0.0,0.0,0.1954788716326247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208169982359224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118418066196732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713868078720815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FriendshipSeeker,2018/02/28,"(male) Is it normal to precum when kissing girl on the mouth or when seeing hot girls online? I have been masturbating for 12 years and now I think I have a mental issue or something because almost everytime I see a hot girl or kiss one I get excited and precum.

Is this normal?",4.199363636363636,5.459891436363634,5.648863636363636,79.05329545454545,71.0,7.6818181818181825,24.65909090909091,8.07648339933343,1.5161818181818174,219,6,40,3,4,74,40,55,0.0,0.8290000000000001,0.171,0.8504,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,0,0,9,9,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,5,3,3,8,0,5,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,4,4,27,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889542920528378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590540583311393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076232553351718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011849368898964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908037644844761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5654611997144953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955378451064047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.459894908774383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22214999555875392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848996021734572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582519494480648
mentalhealth,why-you-reading-me,2018/02/28,"What the hell is Adjustment Disorder? Was diagnosed with ""Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Panic"" what does this entail? I've also read that Adjustment Disorder is just a placeholder for when doctors don't want to officially diagnose things? I'm really confused. All the research I've done also never take about the panic part? Can someone give me like an ELI5 answer?",5.241164835164835,8.512484369230773,6.3668131868131885,65.95461538461541,74.53846153846155,11.0989010989011,32.362637362637365,10.608840637214634,5.130032967032967,304,15,42,12,7,101,51,65,0.329,0.639,0.032,-0.9693,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,3,5,0,6,3,0,0,2,12,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,8,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,30,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27485058511390875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314618233742051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488404206125107,0.0,0.0,0.590851678362659,0.17589180153588554,0.15038371131853606,0.1758582604277479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648504720617818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839553415729689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325383337567304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032488276280626,0.0,0.18609261857646156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189263960975856,0.0,0.11008903484029962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456046730362592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920690745944655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416693659477427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135930315962777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WendlaBergmann,2018/02/28,"Driving Anxiety I don’t drive due to my anxiety. I never got my license because I am too anxious behind the wheel. I’m too anxious just thinking about being behind the wheel right now. I’ve relied on carpools and public transportation for the past few years.

But, I’m 20 and soon to be 21. Living alone in a new city. I’m constantly reminded of how much easier life would be if I could just drive. 

I don’t know if I could get over my anxiety to start learning how to drive. I wouldn’t know where to logistically even start with the whole process. I guess I’m asking for advice if anyone has some. Thanks!",1.4196838407494177,3.889578860655739,3.0905386416861838,88.4260655737705,84.1639344262295,6.108665105386418,21.82903981264637,7.447530270364453,0.9787498829039812,479,16,96,8,14,158,76,122,0.1,0.85,0.05,-0.4003,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,0,5,0,11,1,0,2,1,22,25,8,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,0,11,1,15,17,4,20,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,5,10,63,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264299712530978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298014362536308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054635217223178,0.39918083472959975,0.0,0.12353400273071992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516558409259424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769833717451584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19092095474845325,0.0,0.28211833334726233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669097615328328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230445017663176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130168993383574,0.0,0.19462543776841607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418993031219406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124789499374737,0.0,0.0,0.1560056641114267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987512337611612,0.0,0.13626125615506107,0.1706320684113586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865455142534344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087793945492695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501003872911937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265693712182966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132050467920422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972493079525605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550356560778733,0.0,0.0,0.1137717422946787
mentalhealth,turtles_r_cute,2018/02/28,"What is happening to me ? (Mental breakdown ?) Hello ! I'm an engineering student, and I have my finals in a couple of days. I study out of state in a small town, so my family are hundreds of kilometers away from me.

Here's the problem. I haven't been able to concentrate on studying for the past few days, and I don't know why. I don't feel motivated to study. I either get distracted really easily, or I zone out while I'm studying. I've been procrastinating wayyyyy too much, and only be able to sleep at 5a.m. I assume it's some kind of escape mechanism that my brain does.

The thing is, it's the first time I'm feeling like this, and I can't point out what's making me feel this way. I do want to do well for my finals, but I can't seem to hold my concentration for more than 15 minutes. I haven't felt this demotivated to study before. My friends were talking about having a group study, but I kinda feel like I'm better off at my own pace..

About an hour ago my mom texted me asking how I was doing. I did told her that I was feeling lazy, and that I've been sleeping a lot. A few minutes later she texted me ""Are you okay ? You haven't texted in awhile"" and I just teared up and broke down. I haven't cried like that in a long time and what was going through my head were things that doubts myself. I began questioning if my brain is avoiding concentrating on studying because I suck at it and I don't cut it to be an engineer. Was I having a breakdown ?

To be honest, I'm happy with my grades. I'm nowhere near bad, but nowhere near excellent. It's good and I really want to push it up, but this attitude of mine: being lazy is really making me worried about myself.

I also had a break up about half a year ago, but I don't think that was what caused it.. I'm the kind who is often aware of my thoughts, and often tries to recognize what I'm feeling, or what I'm going through. I do know that I feel lonely (emotionally). But this time I can't quite point it out, and I'm a little concerned about my mental health.. 

My eyes are swollen right now from all the crying and I don't think I'll be grabbing my lunch with my friends later..",2.7226800316539155,3.907411798206284,4.183281456080191,88.43448958058563,74.51569506726457,7.2201529939330005,23.431548404115013,7.724431198458867,0.905019467159061,1666,46,369,22,34,554,197,446,0.094,0.775,0.132,0.9279,0,3,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,2,0,5,16,23,2,3,19,1,44,9,6,5,1,63,80,26,0,4,11,1,9,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,29,19,1,2,17,0,0,3,12,9,1,2,16,10,58,14,53,59,9,52,0,2,1,0,14,27,1,12,22,247,87,5,0.19128445473766376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956212768137185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648505467226985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941257183819802,0.0,0.08985902096261865,0.0,0.07985726487446854,0.05830261408498023,0.0,0.08138449110797377,0.0,0.0,0.08458777782456547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135367130546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825091337183753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582630543937424,0.2101169915033023,0.1233626487376806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369715769206135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075846326980686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016298002307914,0.0,0.3385170871955089,0.13665365268502827,0.09183153697820373,0.20954277025482973,0.0,0.0813532297410739,0.0,0.0,0.1477858952287131,0.0,0.049969116312854896,0.0,0.1087113637794036,0.08022016260223366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457610579895154,0.10181292949411293,0.0,0.0,0.09815651806368544,0.10166321526088666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418832829871657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991933239643195,0.10512493380315692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140177883650705,0.09585863793824134,0.0,0.08464036153604003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131160151056399,0.0,0.0,0.12768385888552433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276973979166032,0.0,0.0,0.1120150207585939,0.0,0.0,0.07030804185181637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274022371782249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913013281671538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808256383268664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915166948270261,0.0,0.0,0.1071411834050992,0.10172728164122266,0.0,0.0,0.18381257973501694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167793959273043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706909172573908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914225980832239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687359949588446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708089209412407,0.12256735486813675,0.0,0.07592924519038508,0.16730925573955285,0.0,0.0,0.09139024690852908,0.0,0.0649347942627475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282452741360367,0.0759163483061358,0.0,0.0,0.08599384857433015,0.0,0.08630223400353543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712932447724536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061590458671928826
mentalhealth,MoreImpact,2018/02/28,"Constant work to stay on top of mere existence <rant> Why is this shit so hard. Went to a mental health professional and they taught me like breathing exercises to deal with stress and anxiety as well as just information like why my brain is making me do this. But it is constant work and it never goes away. Like fucking hell. I fuck up a little bit and start spiralling fucking up a little more and then more. the breathing exercises dontr help they just make me more stressed when they dont work. like fucking hell.

\>:(

why is my brain like this, why is existence like this?

</rant>",3.0370686070686084,5.948515243243243,3.154414414414415,87.65494802494803,81.25225225225225,5.937907137907138,24.75467775467776,7.321109707123232,1.2837118503118503,476,18,88,7,13,145,65,111,0.211,0.649,0.139,-0.9167,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,4,5,16,7,2,4,0,7,12,5,2,1,13,16,11,0,0,3,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,9,1,0,2,1,9,7,11,14,4,15,2,0,0,4,6,7,7,0,12,53,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887992283475803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905894984558467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267269351946786,0.0,0.0,0.2591625128978477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508778109315096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967115401264823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604236162815567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42924836309408937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103982942833044,0.0,0.0,0.1233853137448518,0.0,0.0,0.07780452799260451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402586099593073,0.232680976827506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496571644242527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697915890064485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895263846338909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915223261907652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216049118260256,0.12372353065546388,0.0,0.0,0.2659335424756488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436791674592236,0.1076053187559684,0.4189687761529869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25351814562341235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thr0ahwe3,2018/02/28,"How do I get help? I’m a high school student, and I 100% need professional help. I self harm, and I have tried to kill myself (halfheartedly) several times in emotional fits. 

How so I go about looking for this help without the help or assistance of my parents (I do not want to explain why)? ",2.8621052631578934,4.8137587192982485,4.382315789473683,83.94821052631579,75.84210526315789,8.068771929824562,28.94385964912281,8.841846274778883,2.364939649122808,225,10,46,5,5,75,44,57,0.147,0.654,0.199,0.3265,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,10,10,6,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,8,0,7,10,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,1,28,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505334323109704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636359120674288,0.0,0.12657863124047009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5971462118422712,0.2353191107225412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24641003477325515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18703125191308007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514630546312334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24730756856644925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22540759810983804,0.0,0.0,0.2323486955476502,0.2516136295766652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987159053796907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121431820759373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313678143100671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009728932355079,0.0,0.0,0.2146970541109805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fleshgod_696,2018/02/28,I replied to one of those online counseling ads Spoiler alert...they want money. ,3.6014285714285705,6.851760571428574,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,86.14285714285714,5.6571428571428575,28.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.121114285714286,64,3,10,1,2,19,14,14,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7542824373920634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6565500777868265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lookimdumb,2018/02/28,"Just need to vent I just feel insane lately. I'm 23/m (United States, Minnesota) and whatever is happening to me is getting way worse and more frequent. I get insane euphoria and this ball in my chest and get uncontrollable surges of energy and make all these plans and my mind is running at 3,000 mph and then BAM something happens and i just spiral all the way down. Wanting to die, hoping I crash when driving, I hate everything about me, and just feel nothing. Lock myself in my room and avoid my roomates, not play Bass or Drums (which i know I LOVE) and has been a considerable part of my life, music IS my passion. It used to be that I would feel depressed for 2-3 days or a week sometimes and then spend the next week being ""other me"" where i just feel like an insane person, no thought trail, unable to accomplish anything, getting carried away with everything, and alllll the way back down again. BUT NOW they are blending and it's unbearable. Im having boundless enregy and also have clear depressive symptoms. I feel totally confident, but want to die. It's freaking me out. I know i need to see a Doctor... i have bills from last time that i'm convinced i need to pay off before i go again and they begin piling. I don't even know why i'm posting this. Needed to type it out i guess. I keep trying to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me and i could totally be normal, but then i get that feeling... its the fkn euphoria that makes me feel crazy. and when i'm back to normal it's like it never happened. I used to be normal... I wasn't always like this. Now i honestly can't remember the last day i woke up and felt real serenity. sometimes the moods will switch multiple times a day which is exhausting. It starts with a doctor, but i'm super anxious about the psych eval for whatever reason. I was diagnosed with ADhd way back beginning oh high school. Everyone in my immediate family is diagnosed with depression and my sister has Bipolar disorder. ",3.073778648099797,5.367408741514363,4.364388598781551,82.7211230780389,76.46736292428199,7.597592109080361,25.52139541630403,8.515128840125781,1.9748143893240504,1560,57,290,32,36,513,205,383,0.131,0.747,0.122,0.0142,0,1,1,0,0,1,52.0,0,0,2,3,20,21,1,2,13,0,24,11,1,5,6,81,70,32,2,12,12,1,8,3,0,2,8,0,1,1,20,27,0,2,15,3,3,3,6,9,0,0,6,9,43,11,35,57,6,51,0,3,1,2,5,14,0,4,31,191,63,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827944599616137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653966272432927,0.06804458830165447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238415374830387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729508113106251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683170161176797,0.1886432126128726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958576745716644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529187079039919,0.0,0.0,0.15821720707029074,0.0,0.21130190570885335,0.16600282618816484,0.16974216567642147,0.0,0.0937229390772272,0.16740339956600564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401259852210636,0.0,0.0,0.0781409379434806,0.14699086737669909,0.0,0.07709159418109843,0.0,0.2894405431449099,0.05842113877260019,0.07851825194706387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362419672645366,0.0,0.046475462197513424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008602017833818,0.0,0.21694403259524445,0.0,0.0,0.0807373508400605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640134853379004,0.0,0.0812225035093498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833263905719313,0.0,0.0,0.07268669919762054,0.0,0.0,0.1348266561230566,0.13331750320868824,0.09224743945867192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776115130486606,0.11985558282123347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738064724364285,0.0,0.10917288037906316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257094018374989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425449161961372,0.06307106826455433,0.0,0.0869702218372864,0.0,0.24037078389746125,0.15693348992368064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855596654254494,0.0,0.0,0.0714040743290261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831926959809839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307954554874254,0.0,0.08407984866350426,0.0,0.0,0.09263681858799976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827621708523949,0.06516527263548459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295553505968386,0.16175807365721245,0.0,0.05788181851884557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499708182535083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492139628920822,0.09536905459360864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552086683753659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412572573856332,0.0,0.0,0.09646778177492976,0.2596414765274824,0.13119233064915636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379056015029366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333722678503801,0.058091670202173734,0.08940975123028627,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lollmas,2018/02/28,"Need help breaking up with bf who has untreated depression. My post was removed from /r/relationships because they said it's more suited for this sub. Bf is 24, i am 29, relationship is roughly 8 months.

Hi guys. This sucks. I broke up with him last September due to a jealousy issue and he had a depressive meltdown. I urged him to seek help as he deserved to feel good. I made sure he wasn't going to hurt himself and I left. Later he had enrolled for health insurance and was taking steps to gettng help. Stupidly i went back with him. I asked him three weeks ago if he had found a doctor and he waffled which ended with ""well i have health insurance if something does happen.""

So basically he's going to wait until he attempts suicide to seek help.

His sister attempted on the 6th of February. Im scared for him.

He went into a depressive spiral where i sort of talked him down.

I can't do this though. Im not trained and even if i was im not objective. I could do some real damage by saying the wrong thing, and it would destroy me if i made the wrong call (is he ok or not, should i call a suicide hotline) and something happened to him. Not to mention i cannot tolerate his approach to mental health. I deal with my bipolar 1, and id never expect him to stick around with me untreated. Id never consciously do that to anyone.

There is some other stuff going on but this is the big one. Im scared to break up with him. I know what i want to say and i realize i am not responsible for his mental health, but im scared shitless that he will hurt himself.

Also his birthday is tomorrow. Fuck.

Does anyone have advice or reassurance for me in this situation? Im going to do it saturday because he has his closest friend over sunday. 



Tl;dr bf has untreated depression, i need advice on how to break up with him given the circumstances.",2.235956284153005,4.487072404371587,3.9148907103825152,85.10271857923499,79.05464480874315,6.798907103825138,24.647540983606557,7.8897218956490685,1.5141836065573768,1444,53,281,25,36,482,185,366,0.132,0.79,0.077,-0.9656,0,0,2,0,0,2,43.0,0,0,1,2,10,23,4,3,10,1,30,7,0,3,3,55,53,23,2,11,13,1,2,0,4,3,6,3,0,1,16,19,0,1,5,0,0,9,10,17,1,2,14,5,44,6,47,35,3,43,0,8,0,1,53,16,2,9,14,185,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634124909084792,0.06637547277682837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05988049022094465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047138926329233,0.0,0.0,0.06665794145385841,0.07000150103217329,0.0,0.0,0.05757711839423778,0.0,0.09129075288056038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291910261304578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059784569865148116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719667871037088,0.2579717483266934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664154906163917,0.13105375564351693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632032615418433,0.0,0.0,0.049456692400639365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786093377754933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210065829730448,0.0578511180514652,0.06922417571327336,0.0,0.0,0.17022122252749766,0.06280472286786802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414171127005023,0.13243002042478375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183703374911193,0.0,0.0,0.20075852695537094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603184499687583,0.0,0.4852912407463936,0.07815393595989971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04115138962474756,0.06103615571388193,0.0,0.0,0.08135595501575976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170412228306814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092028851845227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976748479999405,0.0,0.0,0.11104325325823462,0.11550217941331313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050739762691948215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171312122616323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522838335784512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078345853231635,0.0,0.0,0.07122681559077433,0.11909313683673595,0.22490000262044246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416682544850364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529060321325307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857182268230047,0.16381034612078432,0.0,0.07057231320973098,0.0,0.056299483265770674,0.060184683695219426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049746098430063966,0.0,0.07356796822758284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04416541270331617,0.0,0.06006319747403691,0.0,0.06732496735056273,0.13882665857226684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053191698656238864,0.1637362646940287,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Longboarding-Is-Life,2018/02/28,"Is it normal to only feel ""happy"" when drunk? Crossposted because I think I might need as much advise as I can get 

>I am 17 and I have what I would call an intermediate experiance with alchohol and have only been drunk I would say more than 4. but less than 15 times and have only been drinking for about 2 months.


 >  I know its kinda the purpose of alcohol but it seems like only when im ""under the influence"" do I not have any of the seemingly constant worries I have. ""Everyone's having more fun than you, you cannot talk to girls, you are going to waste your teenage years, you will be forgotten like billions of other ceased consciousnesses"" etc.  Is this normal? Like I have anxiety but am afraid to tell my parents because I feel like they will see it as another reason to fight. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD, and my mom has those and anxiety, and my dads a high functioning alcoholic just like his mother,(he's the one who taught me that tequila doesn't leave a smell on your breath haha) so i don't know where I fit in on this. Like Monday was the first day I actually craved alcohol, it was all I could think about last block (period) that day. But for some reason when I got home, as soon as i saw my cat it went away.

>I have on and off depression that is sparked by events like anxiety and my dad yelling at me. And I think I might have been moderatly depressed since elementary school. I often feel like emotionally monitone.

>Is this a bad sign? The main reason im worried is mainly because I don't have a lot of money right now, and I don't want to waste it all. And my mom has been secretly ""about to divorce"" my dad as far as i can remember, I dont wanna be the straw that breaks the camels back.

>Thanks for your input, sorry for the wall of text.",4.2410893854748615,5.241845041899442,5.090889385474863,84.0689150837989,70.64804469273744,8.521296089385476,26.88983240223464,8.841846274778883,1.8428514860335201,1407,45,291,25,25,458,191,358,0.14400000000000002,0.7709999999999999,0.085,-0.9644,1,0,5,0,3,0,50.0,0,7,1,1,13,16,1,1,14,1,45,8,1,4,2,55,64,27,0,8,6,6,3,8,0,6,4,2,1,1,18,14,6,1,16,4,1,2,7,5,0,3,11,8,43,11,41,44,11,34,0,2,2,0,25,14,0,8,25,202,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.08420451171402278,0.0,0.10370124871788906,0.0,0.0,0.27664646630911005,0.0,0.0,0.09522080770583716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586787089823882,0.09048035287560974,0.1980299478621286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107029213994338,0.06635004403963643,0.07204676529430705,0.15780084978973874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810956049767057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324653067191804,0.0,0.06889384106169995,0.0,0.0,0.11129707251630773,0.0,0.14863922804593754,0.08758036938407128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112873832196467,0.08452926022510973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970622371484466,0.0,0.0,0.09623378166851287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245175538578556,0.0,0.08440609196768066,0.0,0.0,0.13088921572915468,0.12328813987161374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339641619710556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508184948001133,0.0,0.049039383726394166,0.0,0.06901229035738421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185503969762654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116786977221608,0.08655376679954746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641140840650014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484311094552768,0.07033612887496406,0.0,0.0913663929242821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33724714877093764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335885944684771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307558337116747,0.0,0.2021186155753636,0.06887415277480739,0.0,0.06343151117888625,0.06398136056011547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908757942081598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584708923103798,0.26250324670605474,0.0,0.0,0.09581246561539768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26615489770130835,0.0,0.0,0.09774733330510783,0.07368936755861064,0.0,0.06861957574735697,0.0,0.08732792881567376,0.0687602588399347,0.15710646804179226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137821584700374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659220341372013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693549195419449,0.07541939967350669,0.0794422754501431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586934443866638,0.0,0.0,0.05031514957251608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050894820019110464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998971785176481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17525903635209525,0.0,0.12259285100790045,0.0,0.0,0.05556655774875994
mentalhealth,super_mareo,2018/02/28,"Does a involuntary commitment show up on a background check? I was recently escorted to the hospital by law enforcement because my ex gf called the cops on me because I was a danger due to my depression and ptsd. I had to file a 5150 and was on hold for 72 hours. I was than notifified by my doctor and case manager that I don’t belong here but gave me medication to help me regardless. So overall, is my future screwed? I got a promotion at a job and about to graduate and I don’t want my mental health to be a road block for employment. ",4.7203931847968565,5.2251199908256885,6.613132372214942,75.38412844036698,69.27522935779818,11.366186107470513,33.002621231979035,11.20814326018867,3.894689646133684,425,19,86,14,7,149,71,109,0.123,0.812,0.064,-0.8053,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,9,0,9,4,0,0,1,12,12,7,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,7,0,15,0,17,4,0,10,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,0,4,59,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261029233086365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731238642378775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303774988317803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27377398484819465,0.2340708750745065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392574558141747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28431548233161497,0.0,0.0,0.17928415653701724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634109094576412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654295932858573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694548797945004,0.26955384701910035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31266623240214336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641012122827525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776483090819907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crayolapenguin,2018/02/28,"Starting intensive outpatient/partial hospitalization program. What to expect? Hello all. I have PTSD and major depression, and have had it for a while. Recently I had a major breakdown (mostly because of physical health issues) and ended up going to the hospital. I was going to be inpatient, but my PTSD is hospital related so it was decided i would be better not staying full time at a hospital. I start a partial hospitalization program tomorrow. I know it involves group therapy as well as individual sessions, but not a lot more than that. Anyone ever been to one? What’s it like? Did it help?

Thanks!",4.177777777777777,7.2621638148148175,6.2755555555555596,66.10000000000002,77.51851851851852,9.525925925925927,33.074074074074076,9.725611199111238,4.499429629629629,484,26,70,16,12,168,74,108,0.021,0.8109999999999999,0.168,0.952,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,0,2,15,18,9,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,6,0,7,4,11,9,7,14,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,9,61,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456096789347821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694416072613374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417569490069247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936103082220786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444317473734284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188369438072604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23670075609740115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135459516794168,0.0,0.0,0.13958216965472808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735357623468807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444595326018175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173794132379288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704237062186054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111213648987536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4868542981091541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561672002098605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29479363001227626,0.22196135998504388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172392917966144,0.23814619664817066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142927828595787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872371780614694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793120508816668,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spamaccountttt,2018/02/28,"Anxiety or Autism? I have very severe anxiety and social anxiety. I can't tell if my social anxiety is Aspergers or not. I honestly, truly feel like my social anxiety problems would mostly go away with therapy or anxiety meds, but I don't really have access to those right now.",5.1780769230769215,7.025692192307695,7.633846153846152,63.48615384615386,69.38461538461539,12.892307692307696,32.230769230769226,12.161744961471696,5.375907692307692,222,10,34,10,4,80,37,52,0.304,0.6629999999999999,0.033,-0.8066,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,12,8,6,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,6,2,3,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,5,2,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7216649436429884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477190405792191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949821017174176,0.11232231472161112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893551820703255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681270157588163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464268688013335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044408688197575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072302752309238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427017948642858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776206731093963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4808164449278801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374224893824203,0.0,0.17980167965408936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972794942451604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168886810903543,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,overthehill_,2018/02/28,"[16 F] Being put on Lexapro. What have your experiences with that medication been like? Hey there. Thanks for checking this out. Today my doctor told me that I’ll be starting a new medicine called Lexapro. I’m already on Burpirone ( 5mg in the morning, 10mg at night). I’m not sure the dosage of Lexapro that I’ll be getting, but I’m a little nervous I’ll become dependent on this medicine. I’m sure it’s not a major medication, but my nerves are still there. I’m being put on it because recently I came to the conclusion that I’m depressed. Hopefully this will change that. Has anyone out there on or have been on Buspirone and Lexapro at the same time? If so, what were your experiences like? Did it seem to make you less depressed or happier over time?",2.0978607382550334,4.580904503355704,3.009660234899332,90.07140310402686,81.14765100671141,6.141107382550335,26.762164429530202,7.413659706084162,1.436613758389262,597,26,122,9,16,189,88,149,0.114,0.7909999999999999,0.095,-0.4386,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,1,5,9,0,1,7,0,13,3,0,2,2,20,27,7,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,5,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,3,0,0,6,0,7,6,17,16,3,24,0,2,0,0,6,13,0,6,10,72,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737859102620454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239188065430902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798450945340932,0.17752270365078626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413166484888864,0.18384166961979054,0.0,0.0,0.1700396931935313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768871371419261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452234978014385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144655885194229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397907069139095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596492922727693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705712206673145,0.16110189504642233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729399079585612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323853634289604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524194670912486,0.0,0.15084190376189482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32317255673686685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870957223578416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463300123878714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377131906468298,0.0,0.12836572714705874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029876859442721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798613062382374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874554638523306,0.0,0.15236101065885274,0.15359223000028568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jasminesparklez,2018/02/28,"Possibly going to inpatient, questions about art supplies I am most likely being admitted back to an eating disorder unit late this week. My passion in life is art, I do art most of the day. The problem is, on the unit, we cannot have anything with metal, pencils, or pens. What kind of art supplies should I use for sketching? Most of my supplies are banned. I do however have a favorite set of highlighters/markers, but they have a plastic clip on one side of the caps. Do you guys think they would allow the markers with plastic clips ? Thank you for reading and please respond, art is everything to me and I don’t know how I will cope without it. ((or atleast my fav supplies, I should say))",2.914933487565065,5.3129136917293245,3.4827067669172926,88.3154308849046,77.49624060150376,5.8968189705031815,29.77964141122036,7.010146845296331,1.7361861191440138,543,26,102,6,13,170,87,133,0.042,0.823,0.135,0.9108,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,2,2,0,3,5,0,0,8,0,18,3,0,3,0,24,24,6,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,1,3,5,1,1,4,6,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,1,16,4,17,19,3,10,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,6,5,73,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823194810755962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036080524730846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288354416328253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253919266166876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267043277147869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991178122720277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259138410740088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937259082495653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307136592227973,0.12175989471226015,0.0,0.2499217626307956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648964166819634,0.10823974698052552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013024394639934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319898250867994,0.0,0.249768046809396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199657823172136,0.0,0.0,0.24819039097192894,0.0,0.2216132466449922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618806964265082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397650389319955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196240305700336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913509088023292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17771668629441298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21356946654787884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738510137832665,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sumosushisamurai,2018/02/28,"Is a therapy session worth it? I've been thinking about enrolling in a therapy session (either in person or virtually i.e. Teladoc) however I'm a little concerned about the efficacy of it. 

I've been facing a lot of self-esteem (dealing with ugliness) and social anxiety (talking to girls, meeting new people issues and I need someone to talk to about these problems. Friends have been really reluctant to talk about my feelings and situations. 

From those who've had therapy sessions, did you find them more or less helpful than talking with a friend or did you find it to be a waste of time and money? Is there something a therapist/psychiatrist can do better than say some critical (albeit constructive) people in your life or perhaps on reddit?

Cheers!",6.532444444444442,8.488652355555558,6.981666666666667,69.05250000000002,66.18518518518519,9.844444444444443,37.2037037037037,10.125756701596842,4.402348148148149,608,32,91,15,10,198,91,135,0.084,0.7879999999999999,0.128,0.7911,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,1,1,5,5,0,0,8,0,12,2,1,0,0,19,16,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,6,2,6,4,21,9,5,7,0,0,0,0,17,5,0,6,2,66,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113347461444277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871488594863234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004136635802146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358744353351178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660347844748497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488171622893735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754980458881073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519019151287049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279647729117894,0.0,0.14586544258204548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372961891065792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791320120270298,0.0,0.1405597076154797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179286481136505,0.12707654088333628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925842763581273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323417576782814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573617721228535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182593071946127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358871525665805,0.0,0.14835576345965365,0.12331229625341668,0.11204082820232178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679057351332867,0.0,0.0,0.4992997673856682,0.16897867178229242,0.0,0.0932536798377515,0.0,0.0,0.0848632916185242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmICrazyOrWhatt,2018/03/01,"Can someone explain to me the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist and a psychologist because I am not sure which I need to see? My background, dealing with depression for 10 years. It has always been mild but the last 4 months it has blown up and become crippling. I am not sure what to do and am even open to pills. I want to take the first step to get better but I noticed those three doctors as an option so I am not sure which to set an appointment up with?",5.078771929824561,5.5404638421052645,5.738684210526317,82.11995614035091,68.47368421052633,8.85964912280702,31.62280701754386,8.841846274778883,2.426333333333333,375,15,76,6,6,122,63,95,0.097,0.846,0.057,-0.417,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,0,3,19,15,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,1,8,4,14,14,0,9,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,1,4,58,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17123171027869155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254461682543285,0.2272761590109177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182002347163604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212157907358844,0.17724449806977546,0.0,0.0,0.2150041692362915,0.0,0.21063225694803234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592072275513678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504276791528806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751549087260162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774430306865107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425764314086685,0.0,0.0,0.15258884599150654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23429046688755004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639860180310612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436310638702776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5818569349682904,0.0,0.15472661200702034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23893518343510806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137881698162305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252042232889308
mentalhealth,pinkH20melon,2018/03/01,"Waiting in the ER. Entertain me! Waiting to see a psychiatrist who will do a complete re-eval of my mental health. I’m Bipolar 1 & anxiety but have been experiencing bouts of psychosis and identity crises recently. 

Just looking for some good juju and/or funny stories to make me laugh off this crippling panic attack I feel while I wait .",3.813732718894009,6.843844612903229,4.99331797235023,75.03854838709678,78.6774193548387,7.413824884792628,31.43778801843318,8.418075326091056,3.13930138248848,274,14,43,6,7,90,55,62,0.13699999999999998,0.662,0.201,0.68,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,3,0,4,2,0,1,0,9,12,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,5,3,7,10,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,2,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209805301056899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266260467483797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370206110335036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31060646855162444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149789998143846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484756286539652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31489379357389674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487705659545763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977453427940412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985445349799153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475788077316373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925054659041808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23606831899696426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manicmidori,2018/03/01,"I'm constantly trying to find ways to justify my existence on this planet or my happiness Im realizing I've spent most of my life trying to prove that I deserve to be here. I take the harder job that will overwhelm me and make my depression worse, I lose weight because a larger version of myself doesn't deserve to exist, I put on a facade that I'm a super hard working person and being lazy even if you're depressed is immoral. Being lazy would mean that I'm worthless. 

I realize that some of it stems back to my mom sending me messages that love would be earned by proving my usefulness. Its why I think my loving fiance will leave me if I switch careers again or if I fuck up financially. I used to be praised for writing her resumes at age 12 because I was ""gifted""by the time I was 19, and I refused to do that for her still, I knew that my usefulness impacted how she felt about me. 

I carried that attitude into my relationship with my SOs family who will be my in laws before I know it. I tried to be useful at every turn, that would earn me their love therefore earning my SOs love.

For anyone that has come out on the other side, how did you decide that you were enough? Even on my best days I don't think I'm worth as much as certain people (other women that are more classically feminine, or white people because I'm a POC, or other black women that better fit the idea of what my mother wanted.) ",5.920140845070421,5.596229570422539,6.8719366197183085,77.40889084507046,66.67605633802816,9.494366197183098,31.482394366197184,9.017664075816787,2.556638028169014,1114,39,215,17,16,374,164,284,0.115,0.7340000000000001,0.151,0.9416,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,9,9,16,1,1,8,0,23,7,0,8,3,45,49,14,0,7,7,2,3,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,23,7,1,1,13,0,2,3,2,6,0,0,7,5,43,10,31,29,7,23,1,5,2,5,22,12,1,9,7,152,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859586250076234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864321470001548,0.0,0.20556227871722726,0.0,0.09564797797924034,0.0,0.11796162181186118,0.09941267433795158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968265515756196,0.0,0.12146936694533388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249162432107639,0.0,0.193627717877343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614392946337312,0.0,0.1484842669077131,0.0,0.09470566640764004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596498927969852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792597836653976,0.0,0.10273570611762793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039161788237908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196567147582833,0.10069238241632243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689103500940846,0.12141618356930935,0.0,0.11154415397699001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177459130470804,0.0,0.0,0.11902016974378975,0.0,0.0,0.07939464534129273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575191964753607,0.0,0.0,0.4057979157689317,0.0,0.07503089812765631,0.0,0.0,0.12244148816298182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164682967234795,0.0,0.0,0.08263026465182585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558542992550247,0.09814730193576908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299760127439767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068040143920465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976640467198907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451421935257591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404857116877234,0.0,0.0,0.06554398670162985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22894589695804785,0.1222638533389276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38832570330263627,0.0,0.0,0.06629910543556408,0.08922148571791198,0.0,0.13687843835108585,0.0,0.0,0.10142760696970976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183183822618711,0.0,0.11454982137393037,0.23954686404924774,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InevitableForce,2018/03/01,"Easily annoyed/angry. I'm currently a senior in high-school, and I just get really annoyed or upset or even angry over stuff that I know I shouldn't. I am even aware that I shouldn't be annoyed but I just can't seem to let it go. And afterwards, I feel horrible if I feel like I treated anyone badly. It's not a huge issue, I'm not explosively angry or violent or anything, it just causes me trouble in my social life and I was wondering if anyone here has any ideas. Sorry if this is the wrong sub.",2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,5.251153846153848,80.56884615384617,74.38461538461539,8.276923076923078,24.538461538461537,8.841846274778883,1.8311,392,12,78,8,8,139,67,104,0.338,0.618,0.044,-0.9865,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,3,1,3,0,9,1,0,1,0,25,18,11,0,5,13,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,2,12,2,4,13,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,9,4,54,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328556658689115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29465749292626986,0.0,0.1733909805138814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759285738383571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164504769227282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27833527385488943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130759834484967,0.1505265817986056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008385251739504,0.0,0.11974762233465855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226197559791682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378585402655844,0.0,0.21991965204647365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579710191623425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154585460895292,0.1488260730506568,0.10293905922069817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349820209727289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324313326268152,0.0,0.19181650106335826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478562565516052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358652539231076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24120503190816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22849889595502015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303711381687545,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mistekillingfeelings,2018/03/01,Done with life I am so done with life i hate it that i randomly think about suicide.  I am so tired..,-1.4924242424242422,0.4767794545454542,0.6790909090909096,103.25530303030304,95.36363636363636,4.751515151515153,16.424242424242426,6.42735559955562,-0.5629575757575753,76,2,20,1,3,25,14,22,0.339,0.6609999999999999,0.0,-0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,4,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6444123738178301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108543271773782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447830809171351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444004877836545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201746500065399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618797374835636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gottabefaster,2018/03/01,"How can I get out of this? I don't even know where to begin.

I started having these problems around the age of 15. Phew, I don't even know where to begin...


I realized I have a problem when I started to go wash my hands after shaking someone's hand (not because people's hands are dirty, in fact I don't think too much about hygiene). I can't explain/put this into words, during my teenage years I developed this thing where I do my best to avoid building relationships with people. At the beginning it was not a big deal, but at this point it's so bad that it affects my everyday life. I literally threw things out because people who I don't like touched them, tried them, left marks on them, etc. One time a ""friend"" came up and used my computer and I literally cleaned EVERYTHING he got close to with 
cleaning products, changed all my passwords, replaced the pillow i had on my chair... Even though normally I have dust bunnies around.


Don't get me wrong, I don't hate people or anything, in fact I would LOOOOOOVE some company but I just can't build relationships with people... I don't think I have anxiety, I have no problem with saying hi to people or asking about the weather, getting some small help, etc, but I just can't go beyond that... And at the same time I really need to. I so desperately need company at the same time, I'm literally talking to myself when I'm alone because I have noone to share my thoughts with, I keep fantasising... I have noone to tell how I feel, or what's happening in my life, but at the same time when someone asks me what's happening with me and is genuenly interested I keep my mouth shut (not like literally you know what I mean) and tell them to leave me alone with my body language. I refuse all kinds of invitations to all kinds of parties, and just sit alone at home wondering how I could spend my boring Friday night.


I don't even know where I'm going with this. Maybe I just needed to vent. What could be the problem? What could I do to stop this or at least stop it from getting worse?


Thanks for listening/reading and sorry for my bad English.
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mentalhealth,infinitystrings54,2018/03/01,"How do schools deal with suicidal kids? I was thinking of telling my school counselor I'm suicidal. I'm afraid he'll tell my parents and I know he will, but the problem is that my dad is part of what makes me feel this way and my mom reacted really poorly last year when I told her I was depressed. Obviously different school boards will react differently but for anyone who has experienced this-what will happen? Will they tell my teachers, will I be sent to a mental hospital? What is your experience? I appreciate the feedback, thanks.",4.280220022002201,6.653951059405944,5.1431023102310265,78.17711771177119,73.05940594059406,8.845324532453246,30.03410341034103,9.444778638647367,3.023335753575358,431,19,78,11,9,140,71,101,0.13699999999999998,0.794,0.07,-0.7941,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,13,0,0,4,1,14,24,6,2,1,2,3,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,4,2,15,1,5,13,1,5,0,1,0,0,16,0,0,0,3,48,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017041731937284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243862386063365,0.13570718485936684,0.0,0.0,0.3292357264437931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412503518081638,0.0,0.0,0.0796676500031532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933080175862225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659148569948415,0.1284333640454193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517328896913712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878457719382236,0.0,0.0,0.18453371083795012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495300741311767,0.17062336775913214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076473838674626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093770522169583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783808770392023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.344692642773238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131461612668719,0.14506113496269546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009588208270448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055642789883164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506470445949347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146421269194346
mentalhealth,Throwaway598302,2018/03/01,"How can I find a psychologist who won't string me along for money? For a while, I've thought it would be a good idea to start using my work benefits that pay for occasional psychologist visits. I don't have any really specific issues, other than the kinds of issues that come from going through life, but there are a number of small issues that I feel a psychologist could potentially help me with, that would probably improve my life.

The trouble is, since psychological therapy can take so long, and often show little to no results for extended periods, I find myself not trusting psychologists enough to actually go. It's not that I don't trust the field; I don't trust that a given psychologist won't just string me along and extend therapy as long as possible to get the most money from me.

How can I determine if a psychologist is actively interested in helping, or if I'm just a sucker paying them a bunch of money to sit in a room with me? How can I trust that a psychologist doesn't have some ulterior motive beyond helping?

Thanks in advance for any advice!",11.141588669950742,7.856014064039414,11.337777093596065,58.971985837438424,58.60591133004929,14.879064039408867,41.13854679802956,13.023866798666859,5.2675522167487685,857,32,151,24,8,293,115,203,0.069,0.74,0.19,0.9735,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,9,11,1,0,15,0,19,2,0,6,0,32,31,13,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,11,7,0,0,6,1,5,5,9,2,0,0,2,1,17,9,27,23,4,18,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,6,5,111,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.1393978537836037,0.0,0.0,0.13958822257211956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942814209936307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304985456965108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405153224480205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759891163173874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222762527669789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611187425591973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463154805115398,0.0,0.16236623675335715,0.11981310380667673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872415616033896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125663002576365,0.0,0.4472847843830488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875294207562145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017938138636552,0.0,0.14317000321988071,0.0,0.25282981469972343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103828409873333,0.0,0.0,0.1540129917919537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151130664396258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181643345877646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110768785262944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740300290752673,0.0,0.0,0.13151412521749262,0.3267154899241403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340438913177807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337375580222172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399415892690902,0.0,0.0,0.202948511568514,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bobbobbobbob1977,2018/03/01,"Am I having panic attacks? Sorry if this isn't the place for this, but I wasn't sure where else to ask. This is a toss account because I don't want anyone I know to one day see it and worry about me.

For the past few months I've been having freak-outs over small things. I drop or throw what I'm holding and start screaming nonsense and crying, and I can't breathe, and my heart feels like it's about to explode, and I feel apart from myself, like I've shut down and I'm just watching this happen. It usually ends with sitting on the floor and shaking and babbling to myself. It happens over small things, like once it was because the puppy kept pawing at me and lunging at my face (I'm still not sure why he was doing that). I don't know how long they last; five to ten minutes, I guess. 

I haven't told anyone about them. I'm home alone while my dad works, so no one's around to see them, and I don't know how I would go about telling them anyway. What I want to know is if these are panic attacks or something else, and how to stop them. ",3.2661060606060595,3.85715036818182,3.8072727272727285,93.88924242424244,72.5909090909091,6.048484848484849,23.75757575757576,4.604124745555138,0.07967575757575762,811,20,186,1,15,255,122,220,0.218,0.7390000000000001,0.043,-0.9883,0,1,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,5,1,13,11,2,3,5,0,18,4,4,3,2,39,40,22,0,5,7,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,15,14,0,3,6,0,1,3,9,6,0,4,6,6,25,5,23,33,1,30,0,0,3,0,10,14,0,5,14,119,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005938202534195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756120170849763,0.0,0.0,0.11178970869204273,0.11739707584293264,0.2857227949402302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310053758349867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793988854296632,0.08098645376318044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20980610411576908,0.0,0.11122350584843006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699050302148115,0.08971187663357429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136801881559933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833667228067034,0.0,0.22209376831139616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880875703140384,0.0,0.0,0.12596346830081384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27605424098538506,0.10236160790624094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18405100423935256,0.0,0.0,0.11113125076640212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002339641657308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337348740402416,0.17018777258108506,0.0,0.0,0.29467393137330605,0.0,0.0,0.11987697844992275,0.0,0.0,0.13120071481989629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001364239825355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667492475042087,0.0,0.14057261055995438,0.0888836929814351,0.0,0.100285555049169,0.10498757687581177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367087300738347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975939593757623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668548932286488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999372713537587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830477334660932,0.0,0.14813654645441415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331325900189827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142118754999858,0.12752903129620785,0.0,0.08920594257672909,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Sugarholic-,2018/03/01,"Sitting at the doctors waiting room.. I feel so anxious.. I want to talk to her about probable mental health issues but I'm also really anxious and embarrassed. 



",2.9839655172413795,6.070637655172416,4.7340517241379345,74.0348706896552,86.24137931034483,7.037931034482759,31.38793103448276,8.07648339933343,3.439958620689655,128,7,18,3,4,43,25,29,0.213,0.745,0.042,-0.7427,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,12,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230920780308357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6303130208888005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855374493524577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105553180102354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29653189174054745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911720314120672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811359815055271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30077666790589386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871522115008706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22422538796281816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645436378479407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,examm,2018/03/01,"A friend of mine needs help So a close friend of mine and my girlfriends has been displaying very odd behavior over the last few days/weeks (We’re all 20-22 years old). She told us she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but has been behaving in the way that another acquaintance of ours did before he had a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She has been hyperfocused and manic and telling lots of different people that they need to notice the signs. We are scared for her because none of us are equipped to deal with this sort of issue. We’re going to contact her mother today to let her know our concerns but if push comes to shove we may need to find her help. Does anyone have any advice or information that may help? We want what’s best for her but aren’t sure how. She completely is against talking to her mother, but we aren’t sure how to deal with this. ",5.7886921850079744,6.571796736842106,5.446996278575226,83.69846889952156,67.01169590643275,9.025199362041466,28.995746943115364,9.095868883498916,2.1685274853801166,706,23,139,12,11,217,107,171,0.041,0.815,0.14400000000000002,0.9572,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,8,0,1,1,4,6,0,1,6,0,19,3,0,2,3,37,27,13,0,5,6,2,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,6,14,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,8,0,22,5,23,16,5,11,0,0,0,0,35,3,0,6,4,94,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316154689494497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159239891829328,0.14123201956161202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417691983651684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210450112848397,0.0,0.11460949301992167,0.0,0.14134665423454587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602171024836125,0.1412177133614479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777146466338554,0.0,0.2734107913807361,0.0,0.1407202013528281,0.15436401615588954,0.0,0.11786629958242435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310231164260015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081190936635171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654624436817911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708354052769017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057918728330376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402095413331268,0.10978862497158498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377275155751318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450684643834536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573373652845627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996081407405946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334308070663727,0.14133230687286266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337563950630733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484609657457214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538835265012665,0.0,0.0,0.1082570419117188,0.11772317184325475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766839208931174,0.1287000719984321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240259493013239,0.0,0.0,0.1111316331963422,0.07944242023907218,0.10690899547122124,0.10803851889006676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673459951834236
mentalhealth,ArchonSariel,2018/03/01,"I have Schizo-Affective Disorder, AMA. Some basic facts:

-- I am 18.

-- I was diagnosed last year.

-- I have the depressive type.

-- I am currently medicated and seeing a psychiatrist.",2.921999999999997,5.9233072000000035,5.630000000000003,65.38500000000002,93.66666666666666,11.733333333333334,29.33333333333333,9.888512548439397,5.380533333333334,136,7,21,7,5,48,24,30,0.175,0.825,0.0,-0.6486,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,5,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571880745932506,0.4209206940013716,0.0,0.0,0.4752922039473967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338043015662416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177754780375987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304692144388605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670588650786078
mentalhealth,Wendyh0406,2018/03/01,"What defines as an eating disorder? I don't purposely avoid food or try not to eat, but I find it hard to eat normally. I don't like being full and I have a busy schedule, so I just decide to skip often. I probably eat 2~3 small meals a day; today I had a bowl of cereal, a sandwich and a cup of instant ramen. I often skip lunch at school because I love being alone in the classroom while everyone else goes to eat, and I hate the loudness in the cafeteria. 
I do feel hunger, but to me it feels less like 'I should eat' and more annoying because it throws off my concentration. It's not hard to ignore itself but I get terrible headaches if I don't eat for too long, and that's mostly what forces me to go eat.
My body weight isn't that serious, just slightly lower compared to the guideline for my height. 
I don't think this is typical anorexia or an eating disorder, just being a little neglective of my body but I can't really help it. Would people define this as an eating disorder?",3.487916666666667,4.764572625000003,5.127000000000002,82.0526666666667,72.75,8.533333333333335,26.833333333333336,9.029198982220553,2.1353833333333334,775,27,154,16,15,263,112,200,0.202,0.743,0.055,-0.9824,1,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,10,2,1,13,0,15,20,2,0,0,31,22,16,0,4,12,0,5,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,12,5,17,3,5,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,1,6,22,3,19,16,4,15,0,1,0,1,2,8,0,6,7,107,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572997693003566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091779117058963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838888164326196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338305245376322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28460209853103635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8469952987772785,0.06914792376193536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909509716923263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370709382767867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565488620120768,0.0,0.10009190592552496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043246541550344485,0.0,0.04704296230941279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483003528357167,0.08172321420687267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055482363929850835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808794060152981,0.08296233502710773,0.0,0.07325330488309778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470770460037268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110196357751177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738578980810975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924549232528754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302780966558352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377275878415476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303890278781132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846105849782918,0.0,0.0,0.056198818097260426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079769797847886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880101289144168,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Samba1992,2018/03/01,"What are the signs of illness in men ? First time posting help needed 25 F Looking for advice and don’t really know where to go . My partner 26 M relationship of 3 years  Has been showing signs of mental health in my opinion , it would be too long to describe in detail so I will include some bullet points on his behaviour and it would be very helpful if someone could give advise if either themselves or partner are like This .
- he hits himself 
- he picks his skin 
- bites his fingers constantly 
- doesn’t give eye contact
- has a blank stare like he is vacant 
- has no sex drive but will try touch me when I’m asleep with a vacant expression 
- angry drunk 
- extreme anger at times but then extremely happy 
- no motivatation 
- racist and rude behind closed doors ( not to me and I know it’s not acceptable )
- doesn’t speak to family with no reason given 
- doesn’t communicate and cannot start a conversation 
- has told me he hasn’t got any emotions but he knows he loves me 
- very secretive with his life and friends
- will smash things if he doesn’t win at games 
- will go silent and stone wall if questioned 
- he always has to be right 
- will have say he hates me then next minute he loves me more than anything 
- I can see a look in his eyes that I can only describe as someone who is fed up and wants to hurt someone 
- he tells me he never said things he did say and I know he did even others have seen him act this way 
- if I ask him why he said something he will say he can’t remeber saying it 
- he blames me for his behaviour 
- he told me he wants me to Be scared of him and when I asked him about it a few weeks later he said he never said it 
- he only  Wants sex on his terms most of the time when I’m asleep 
- he speeds up in the car when he is in a mood knowing I hate it 
- if he gets a spot he will cut It off his face with scissors 
- tells me he knows he’s ugly and disgusting 
Looking 
- doesn’t tell me about small talk 
- he will say homeless people are Tramps and deserve it ( maybe he has no empathy ) 
- says weird things 
- 
Is this just a bad relationship or is this a illness I have contacted his family and they’ve said they always felt uncomfortable around him , and many others have said the same somethings off and very strange I cannot put my finger on it.  He was such a good man but I’m realising it was all a lie or he’s ill 
Help appreciated I understand nobody is a doctor but he won’t see one and I need this for my own peace of mind 
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mentalhealth,EquinoxIncarnate,2018/03/01,"Not feeling my self? This is probably gunna sound kinda dumb, Even to me it sounds dumb but lately I don’t feel my self. It’s almost like being on auto pilot or kinda like riding copilot in my own body. I’m not sure how to explain the feeling. I feel like my emotions have dimmed down. I don’t really feel happy or sad or even stressed out when I should be feeling super stressed right now because of financial problems. I find my self making decisions that I would normally not do and I make them without realizing them? Also its late so I was going to go to bed so I went to the bathroom before getting in bed, we have a small nightlight next to the sink so I leave the light off, when I was washing my hands and I heard singing and I looked in the mirror and i realized it was me singing! Usually when I sing I have a song in my head and am thinking about the song and then sing it but at that particular moment All I was thinking about getting into bed and going to sleep cause it was so late. It’s like my body was acting on its own. I have also been sleeping in way later than I usually do(I usually wake up around 11am-12pm), I have been sleeping in uptill like 3-4 pm. I feel more comfortable when I am dreaming because I can control what happens sand the outcomes in my dreams. I have a hard time distinguishing reality from non reality sometimes. Idk. I don’t really want to tell any of my family or my girlfriend, they will probably think I’m making it up. Typing it out it sounds made up to me. I have never felt like this before. Is this depression or anxiety or something? 

I know I already posted this but I forgot to add that I am age 20 and male. Idk of my age or sex made a difference and idk how to edit posts.",2.024632157266719,4.036526218130312,3.858305433942828,86.45292986522448,78.60339943342777,6.658391278221306,24.861275645978196,7.686295010490155,1.3543265344664783,1357,50,275,21,33,457,173,353,0.115,0.78,0.105,0.6965,0,0,1,1,0,0,29.0,1,0,3,2,18,17,2,2,11,0,30,10,8,9,3,68,61,32,0,5,14,0,11,6,1,3,1,6,3,4,19,15,0,2,18,8,0,6,8,7,0,0,14,19,49,10,38,42,4,49,0,2,1,1,12,21,2,10,25,190,68,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583220878076961,0.0,0.09458975557118517,0.13709413470798432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058289830485617276,0.0,0.06557251793788699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630542745486589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450337603134116,0.0,0.14587603336240373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042234187559884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805396041551561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613780098358976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382707933222563,0.0,0.0,0.0895549934233683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641898139980973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322924086237775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080543174037114,0.0,0.3033841536218536,0.061235539249511875,0.08230081781908913,0.0,0.07834288612132469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956616155125989,0.0,0.146143162354949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579839022905216,0.09124629335030712,0.07678471436108883,0.0,0.08796936190704192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047107280950938184,0.0,0.29007420010894075,0.09076088496148008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25125909560547594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719798656532466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622131345056744,0.17164831964649602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610947607947255,0.0,0.09115995587805403,0.0,0.08398349684739069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641844992489865,0.0,0.1848327264279184,0.08201865150260909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982374999138583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320100966899186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682614972496581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573337584730299,0.0,0.0,0.06598837713737551,0.08477533198143787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637481438480853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078633105816521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491957642788617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647700867616604,0.0,0.0,0.049981698478075036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832122466210318,0.0,0.050557527303478296,0.06803738407336861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945960596323191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262718103516803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089019874435056,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Caithmmir,2018/03/01,"Immediate bad reaction to Sertraline/Zoloft I've had a very bad reaction to my first dose of sertraline and I was wondering if others have had similar experiences or recommendations.

For context, for the past few weeks I have been experiencing intrusive suicidal thoughts which I believe are the result of a depressive episode. Monday night I couldn't sleep since I was in a constant state of fear, and I was experiencing more of these intrusive thoughts but worse than normal. Thankfully, from the mindfulness meditation I've been practicing I am able to not identify with these thoughts and just let them be, even if it meant I didn't get any sleep.

On Tuesday, I told my housemates about what had happened and broke down crying (something which I've been allowing myself to do now which I find helpful). They recommended to go see the doctor the immediately the next morning, so I agreed to do that, and I went about my normal business for the rest of the day. In the evening though, a kind of dull, heavy fog of sadness, emptiness and despair took over me that was pretty much telling me that it was inevitable that I was going to kill myself that night. I think this was linked to my fear of losing control, since I knew that I didn't want to kill myself. Even though I felt emotionally dead and couldn't feel anything else, again, I managed to not identify with my thoughts and feelings and rode it out, and it finally went in the late evening with me crying like a baby again, but feeling a hell of a lot better. I was actually able to sleep really well that night.

Yesterday morning, I went to talk about this with my doctor who prescribed me 50mg of sertraline. I took one pill at 12:00 in the afternoon, and felt fine for a few hours. However, around 17:00 I started suddenly having a feeling of pure terror and non-stop thoughts about suicide and death. I managed to stay composed, but this didn't go away and I was tempted to call an ambulance at one point. I was going to call my parents that evening to explain what was going on, but I didn't feel like I was in any state to talk to them.

For the rest of the evening, I felt borderline psychotic, like I had completely lost the ability to feel empathy with other people as well as having very aggressive/violent thoughts. I couldn't even cry, and worst of all, the same thing as Monday night happened but worse, so I have now lost two full-nights sleep. Even now, I feel pretty much no emotion apart from a sense of panic and agitation, and my thoughts are more worrying than they were before I tool the drug. I'm not sure my doctor made the right decision, since causing suicidal ideation is a side effect of this drug.

I don't mind the physical side effects, but this definitely feels wrong mentally. I really, really do not feel like myself. I'm going to call my doctor in a bit to explain what's happened, but, knowing that it takes approximately 6 days for sertraline to leave the system, I think I'm going to not take it for a week and see how things go. In a few weeks I begin CBT, so if that doesn't significantly help me then I will go back on them, but only if I don't have any other choice. Do you think this is a wise decision, or should I stick to the medication regardless?
",9.196202285714287,7.173934068800001,8.823517142857146,71.55923000000001,61.111999999999995,12.512571428571427,38.80142857142857,11.20814326018867,4.1385188571428575,2583,103,495,56,28,832,268,625,0.201,0.71,0.08900000000000001,-0.998,2,0,3,0,0,3,68.0,0,1,5,8,28,31,3,4,36,0,49,13,4,8,3,100,110,42,7,12,20,1,12,4,0,2,9,0,0,0,36,25,0,1,34,0,0,15,16,19,2,4,45,16,65,12,79,58,14,72,1,8,2,0,19,22,1,8,35,344,101,6,0.10391894904075634,0.0,0.05070495188758036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600267332047857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275822029612104,0.0462549483714456,0.0,0.0,0.048817636713204215,0.03995362863921627,0.08676798175163028,0.0,0.0,0.04421368582071275,0.058540534728749025,0.0,0.045953932771365134,0.0567262887903377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916929870847665,0.0,0.0,0.05337669322840892,0.0,0.0,0.05447852046424482,0.05614973301503052,0.05827696887840035,0.0,0.0,0.17122512879502733,0.06701912513113154,0.0,0.04475261926743787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21273089553224012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205129888045044,0.0,0.04340547366763027,0.11689483056270257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745499430338767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050826336322394514,0.0,0.11693770885843445,0.2364504437252624,0.07423971795870415,0.14966773161980215,0.056919064578024474,0.0474900183863767,0.044196702483523816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027146680888673117,0.0,0.2657679009884201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378427751587119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696546810245866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051169615963471776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149709202403644,0.05410779697361152,0.02855556833874835,0.0,0.05861255045439464,0.055017581161224,0.0,0.053132083059190566,0.0,0.1015390987048876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812936126945016,0.11343980866741404,0.044174087148833134,0.0,0.049165311118716915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234370416531761,0.05236292931770853,0.0,0.10492851456879926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639238461248213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055259490619808616,0.24380223503020265,0.10181850597789427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704181693135564,0.039517521756341815,0.0,0.0609632480554687,0.05769484746563935,0.0,0.04960119776679196,0.03602215732445815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911849820813456,0.0,0.0,0.10572293071100704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985970962841706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044373107338657514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280994795379468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894424277295338,0.0,0.2079879961258861,0.0,0.0,0.040000941996035495,0.0,0.0,0.036777183499471344,0.05538188641065436,0.0,0.043440447290292616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050569528396958,0.0,0.048971189820333744,0.0,0.07813411680586937,0.08352611485913262,0.0454148709373551,0.047837303162801895,0.0,0.0,0.06903913215370586,0.09988059972309618,0.10209983980721993,0.2887501318768881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964950457858396,0.1154577760582952,0.0,0.0,0.05075685659947153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574401623138989,0.030647044295683514,0.0,0.125036268939177,0.0,0.09343561535170336,0.14450086032027049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634783367456075,0.0,0.052767368548357695,0.10590228711672237,0.0,0.05680952865307287,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ikhouvankipsate,2018/03/01,"The taboo of talking about mental illness. Currently in the western world, talking about your mental ilness/issues is a big taboo and not a lot of people do it. Personally I feel like if we can help eachother by talking about it on these kinds of places (reddit). But to be honest I'm looking for a larger platform to discuss these issues, and where people can help eachother in a positive way. Does anyone know if this kind of platform exists? ",5.575100401606426,7.13827520481928,5.870060240963856,77.61585341365465,68.03614457831326,6.979116465863456,30.700803212851405,7.1686216300943375,2.079379116465863,354,14,57,3,6,113,57,83,0.031,0.8,0.16899999999999998,0.9022,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,9,5,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,4,14,8,1,11,0,0,1,0,9,9,0,3,2,41,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037200232821455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631659382176944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427604346441992,0.13320178406334626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499505126352771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892161723618172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883234089133483,0.10246948001014408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109132868203126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657323572485488,0.0,0.0,0.1585153440606367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37580075979175603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585255307191424,0.16280322995824306,0.1948032962879311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4495906431637516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799740563480118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dooodledude,2018/03/01,"Insanely positive energy! In my early teens I was always complimented about my good energy and how I ""light up a room with my smile"". I would agree that I was always fun to be around from the expressions i received from people.

At 14, had A BBF, got a crush on her, but was friend zoned. Was hurt and started distancing myself from her.

7 years later, I know I don't have that high energy vibe about me, I have gained 140lbs and struggle to get my self to socialize in New environments and achieve goals.

I use to do whatever I want, and achieved.


How can I get that fire back?",4.245789473684212,5.281256166666669,5.183289473684212,83.28177631578949,70.66666666666667,9.559649122807018,25.653508771929822,9.827888789773867,2.1574245614035084,449,13,94,11,8,147,75,114,0.099,0.691,0.21,0.8516,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,6,6,0,1,4,0,12,0,0,3,0,14,19,8,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,2,19,4,16,11,0,15,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,63,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048423912169213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21656301848011167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706060047585127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879507898747058,0.0,0.25419840955207523,0.0,0.0,0.20404441034962556,0.1945662683622965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570294671320372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604269400317447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369553510672708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23495292115249025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865367700131145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537850037851425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24798443726141314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721886662997384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25431996497096765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21010828077621493,0.0,0.0,0.14348770572326736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728129397313215,0.0,0.0,0.15665873036421366
mentalhealth,11never,2018/03/01,"Repressed memories Are they real? If they are, how do you know?
I have had suspicions my whole life, and there are a few fragments. I have avoided processing some thoughts. Since my dad passed away its been harder to avoid thinking about. 
I had what felt like a flashback, pretty out of the blue. A smell brought it on. How do I know if its real? What if I'm remembering a dream? Is there any way to tell?",1.056750000000001,3.579201175000001,1.9850000000000032,95.08,87.25,5.2,21.75,6.742157984588678,0.47485,314,11,67,4,10,98,57,80,0.126,0.78,0.094,-0.3939,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,2,0,5,4,0,3,5,0,11,1,0,2,0,19,18,6,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,6,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,6,3,9,1,7,12,3,6,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,4,1,48,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959139755561187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23430686159747136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394501853518527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741126383438601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614908690798714,0.1218376653848905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537157650554881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5677129554320408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825063323653369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20629512118531296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179748262231568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979682365671175,0.0,0.19798505429326868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795142574445454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27843116338448826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShakyMD,2018/03/01,"Paranoid when I interact with family members. Im from the United States. A lot of the time I’ve seen family members lately, I feel as though they think I’m on drugs. I don’t know why at all. And I’m not on drugs. But I get this pervading feeling that they think I’m hopped up or tripping on something. This causes me to avoid eye contact and interacting with them at all. Sometimes I feel this over the phone too. Even without a family member. I was speaking with someone from Lowe’s on the phone today and I was convinced they thought I was drunk or high or just downright mentally unstable. They don’t have a reason to believe I’d be on drugs. It’s just a thought that’s been in my brain a bit lately. Any ideas why? It’s starting to scare me and give me anxiety?",1.8717932489451488,3.9048963481012677,3.380025316455697,89.59050210970467,79.18987341772151,6.491814345991561,25.090295358649787,7.554174236665415,1.248008776371308,605,23,127,9,15,199,92,158,0.099,0.853,0.048,-0.7476,1,1,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,2,9,0,8,6,2,2,2,30,23,11,0,0,8,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,7,1,1,10,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,7,6,17,1,21,15,4,20,0,1,2,0,12,12,0,4,6,80,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909276804883163,0.0,0.1022881163008659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064587158112372,0.0,0.0,0.1459771636179854,0.0,0.0,0.14926506543703572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735744831799485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651849607990948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831448083906591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37815089276105546,0.0,0.2028240394784244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985818325640339,0.12826723246116806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127241510948296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094280509803326,0.14443021393032554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348375789216187,0.0,0.3016623879405263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367582975917735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347486688011595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747659595946862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386747076432853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329241712316612,0.10293682486810987,0.1322430385451394,0.0,0.0946409336410784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135249468936886,0.1313698228699152,0.2123022985565884,0.07796762954387318,0.0,0.1267418574188639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413057393574521,0.0,0.0,0.1288920872513062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plumconch,2018/03/01,"Need help overcoming suicidal ideation and depression. I read reddit posts all the time, but I never actually post anything.  I am writing today because the thought of speaking with others made me stop thinking about suicide.

My problems started when I was a young child.  From continual emotional abuse, to suicidal ideation, to early onset OCD, my problems started almost as far back as I can remember.  I struggled all through adolescence with mental health issues, sexuality issues, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.  

My world came to a halt in my mid 20's when the OCD (not yet diagnosed) took over my life.  I'm not talking about the media's version of OCD, e.g. hand washing, organizing, being a type-A personality, etc., or all the crap people joke about.  Sure, I washed my hands 50-150 times a day, took multiple showers a day, and worried about germs constantly.   But I also had intrusive thoughts, which, if you don't know what these are, can be best described as unpurgeable thoughts relating to the things that you could do, that will happen, or that you have done.  They can center around the most terrible of things, including harming others or yourself, in the most terrible of ways. If untreated, the thoughts can be adopted by someone as being true, when in fact they are completely out of touch with reality. It is a form of psychosis, which I lived with in silence for years.  Without going into everything, I didn't get help until I started to assume that I was becoming evil, that only some small part of me was still good, and that I should use that small part of me that was still good (while it lasted) to end myself before I became completely evil.  Crazy...I know.

For the next 15 years of my life, I was off and on medication, partaking in constant counseling (at least once a week, sometimes more), drugs, addictions, and severe depressive bouts.  Positively, during that time, I learned to control my OCD, and the intrusive, psychotic thoughts are now no longer permeating my consciousness, only requiring the occasional recognition and subsequent dismissal (it's a process).

After learning how to deal with the foregoing, my hopelessness and pain only found a new foundation.  The years I spent struggling with the foregoing made me inept when it came to social situations, friends, family, and most of all being able to present with other people.  I work on these relationship issues now, but the shadows of shame, humiliation, and self-loathing, that I carried with myself through childhood and the OCD, are like an immigrant's accent.  In other words, my mental health issues are always with me in some way, tainting things in ways I don't always realize.

Today I found myself contemplating suicide.  This is something I do from time to time, but today was hard.  I wrote a list of things I needed to before I passed, which was detailed.  But I also read some posts on here, saw that I wasn't the only person who has suffered, and got some great insight regarding how people's lives have changed after serious times of depression and suicidal ideation or actual attempts.     

Because spending some time on here helped so much, I am asking for anything, from anyone who has suffered.  Please tell me your stories, give me your advice, or point me in the right direction.  ",9.11972564017293,9.042159376288662,8.418189779403615,68.14723478550053,60.04810996563574,11.564660237224256,39.39275024941803,11.01025909683832,4.5569317592284655,2615,120,417,59,31,823,296,582,0.201,0.7170000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9981,1,0,2,0,1,3,101.0,0,5,2,5,22,28,3,3,30,0,40,14,3,6,8,95,72,41,5,8,15,0,4,1,1,2,11,1,1,3,32,28,0,4,17,3,2,6,9,19,0,0,28,6,57,9,74,36,21,85,0,6,1,0,26,27,1,17,47,301,89,6,0.05926696931653709,0.07022166723355475,0.1156720253796686,0.06460974468826278,0.0,0.05791499648599405,0.0,0.0,0.05934730867453146,0.0,0.0,0.09479154789973693,0.0986297324985624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144084297179736,0.0,0.0975433317489022,0.05276016801889167,0.05540661585819644,0.0,0.0,0.04557264107272796,0.0,0.07225718879848016,0.06545571124081995,0.10086365133964104,0.0,0.06219702781627302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557124799467793,0.0,0.0,0.06269659501720927,0.0,0.12428057945422175,0.1280930777091832,0.06647294566118722,0.04731985240206968,0.0,0.0,0.07644458435025417,0.06110164296146006,0.15313966148277758,0.06015472629638186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065068666305596,0.0,0.0,0.06873086838974403,0.0,0.0,0.06666736336512004,0.0524929434459744,0.0,0.06609833730374773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532653304654611,0.0,0.05587162404643862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996634554716405,0.04578951347588256,0.0,0.030964545313941005,0.05685427743318223,0.033682784470431895,0.0994206439207955,0.04740120950311865,0.06534204290226395,0.0,0.0,0.05240958523444179,0.0,0.05309156328846845,0.0,0.0,0.12599603387009792,0.0,0.0,0.1191762007163378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24743727169770435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514315274243689,0.04831049024999921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372402632156728,0.02895484751780552,0.0,0.10466763945543077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215967876534973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970523638500405,0.11945433066223565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043568041792545496,0.0878914135583417,0.04571034042967608,0.057240408281773215,0.06303109423724458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311738805748138,0.0,0.18030080334859025,0.06306423398482783,0.0,0.0,0.12836070449162348,0.0,0.12326476235013667,0.10349926314725126,0.0,0.06505733477269895,0.05602644278156,0.0,0.17028412110523594,0.0,0.0,0.1134209709137703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856601560027814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363054500187004,0.06713792283044878,0.050613667967104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061828374642870214,0.06695480565557131,0.0,0.0,0.06661855670045955,0.0,0.060415211552770326,0.050216710773316985,0.04562660850201301,0.05861654810653656,0.0,0.1258483977829858,0.0,0.0946613565089036,0.04954984014783838,0.0,0.12391740913658487,0.0,0.3241422250696098,0.0,0.05585841718506489,0.0,0.0,0.04763654494373566,0.051801943480069015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749736365748965,0.0379758808427032,0.0,0.23525676726308006,0.2419133249457031,0.0,0.16853447102174954,0.0,0.1316955672505671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05118763246704377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113008477935804,0.04754038785724648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057131243474409635,0.0,0.04314705952863679,0.06018848422809565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449795528779833
mentalhealth,Mr_Casey,2018/03/01,"How do you make the most your counseling? Hello Reddit.

I was just diagnosed with Bipolar 2 through the Veterans Affairs hospital. I get to attend 1 hour counseling sessions for 8-12 weeks and talk with some professionals about medication. This is all completely new to me, and I am hoping to get some help from others who've experienced counseling. How do you make the most of the help being offered?

To give some background, my wife and I moved to a completely new state (Montana) a year ago. Losing all of my support structures from my hometown was more difficult than I imagined. At my wife's insistence I agreed to speak with my doctor. He promptly directed me to a specialist. I've always assumed most people experience life the same way as me, but I guess I was wrong. Now I have the chance to address some of the issues that negatively affect my life and I don't want to waste the opportunity. Thanks in advance for your help. ",5.378826373626372,7.066248605714289,6.1125714285714325,75.21496703296704,68.65714285714286,9.4989010989011,32.31868131868132,9.851270322608157,3.363997802197801,746,33,131,18,13,244,108,175,0.052000000000000005,0.8009999999999999,0.147,0.9411,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,0,3,5,7,0,0,11,0,10,6,0,5,2,29,20,8,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,3,2,23,4,25,16,11,14,0,1,0,0,16,2,0,10,7,93,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647704953347648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749456874360055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465061547340621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677171364148414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913217350586093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163836873884938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266423405717146,0.15851516898351828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18203267597618397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33227465809526524,0.0,0.0,0.16412257566737454,0.16273006971947934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246970107956475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334306015223056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848635139040161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060061616760496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646391550561115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562607924330845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191834775187997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455798646289875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751464632302614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281524825324956,0.0,0.1521326187875195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974640039998099,0.13116139627752685,0.13254715308957946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066617042904373,0.0,0.10641042064098574
mentalhealth,rebelrob0t,2018/03/01,"Mental capability after drug addiction.  Hello, I'm new around here but was looking for some advice. I did very well through all my years of schooling. In highschool I had completed many of the senior core classes my junior year and was able to take some college courses my senior year. I enjoyed learning and seemed to pick things up quick.       
         
In 2009 my father passed away. unexpectedly and it had deep effects on me. I ended up getting into drugs and eventually in a cycle of heroin and xanax addiction.       
        
In 2015 i finally got clean and pulled my life together. I've even recently been able to start paying for some college classes to start my degree.     
            
Here is where the issue comes in that i just don't feel as capable mentally as i once did. Studying feels near impossible, i get distracted so easily. What should be a 30minute assignment will take me two hours because i just cant seem to stay focused on it. My memory feels incredibly weak. I will read something and turn the page and struggle to remember most of what i just read. By the time i get to the end of a chapter or section i feel i have to reread it a lot more than i should to get it to stick. I also feel my social skills have declined. I use to feel a lot more charismatic and more of a class clown personality. However now i feel its harder to articulate what i want to say smoothly or without stumbling over my words or having several ""uuh..its like uhhh"" moments. I feel a greater challenge in connecting with people or upholding a meaningful conversation. 
     
I also feel like i have too much internal chatter most of the time. I am constantly thinking of other things i should be doing or didnt do or did do wrong or what other people are doing and if i should be doing that, ect. 
     
Im happy to be sober and have vastly improved my dependability, work ethic, drive, and finances. However now i would like to tackle my body and mind. If anyone has had a similar experiece or can offer some advice or direction i would greatly appreciate it. ",4.966283482142857,6.4339845494791685,6.106488095238094,75.70875000000002,69.390625,9.027380952380954,30.901785714285715,9.424239791934726,2.9420910714285715,1593,66,284,34,28,532,211,384,0.055,0.816,0.129,0.982,2,0,3,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,4,16,12,0,2,15,0,39,8,1,4,1,70,66,30,0,9,16,1,10,3,0,8,7,1,1,1,16,17,0,0,16,2,2,4,4,4,1,1,11,12,40,8,48,43,16,45,0,0,1,0,7,19,0,22,24,214,56,18,0.18348942177462746,0.0,0.0,0.2000305537902328,0.0,0.1793037393314031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467364243002674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415003502318889,0.0,0.0,0.08167224369795288,0.0,0.0,0.08619717592983532,0.0,0.0,0.05592672421328685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019076914312408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902994479754398,0.09619258384917878,0.09914343956352883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127894752226386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251716514653133,0.0,0.0,0.0605965162760949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41749994200274987,0.06554243978935695,0.0,0.10050184633101228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173129926128848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337662633542448,0.10114886764054508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766395072551236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035005965932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910003122973017,0.09575764214215256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480200251314996,0.1344654946055812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704245064946534,0.0,0.0,0.1559961447489712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301473693796218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491417997623924,0.0,0.0926360045190052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674429187839065,0.0,0.0,0.08860761347244679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770512287153953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720846158571544,0.08010794278833715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353907661806235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058683383683144,0.0,0.1039288728727963,0.0,0.0,0.07295907646065282,0.0,0.09285054543431208,0.0,0.1670418782028935,0.0,0.10364540920894827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352217906573848,0.0,0.07062956068208852,0.0,0.0,0.12987475714695226,0.09778765478366798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959114917317761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379612096342254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190221856205735,0.05878630624752947,0.0,0.0,0.10699415741962752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979190028846824,0.08962125150902056,0.0,0.0,0.07923797345893034,0.0,0.07569899476543769,0.05411340750483242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248951318453293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843862737772765,0.0,0.06679124220019741,0.0,0.0,0.13034562065999564,0.10030843902927912,0.0,0.1772417575287854
mentalhealth,catfoxwolf,2018/03/01,"Does anyone confuse sadness for depression? I’ve spent so many years depressed that sometimes when I’m doing better, and something shifts, I automatically think JESUS FUCK IM DEPRESSED AGAIN

And a day later I’ll realise “oh no that was just sadness” 

I have a serious fear of my own depression, I get paranoid with it now",3.4603874092009725,6.500390050847456,4.497142857142858,77.83254237288135,80.6949152542373,6.083292978208232,30.462469733656178,7.447530270364453,2.4315452784503635,259,13,41,4,7,84,48,59,0.466,0.4970000000000001,0.038,-0.9845,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,1,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,10,0,0,2,0,4,1,3,6,1,6,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148036188347605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19160128033929255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397154651184232,0.0,0.7463699956075176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18958392083331702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24378125424752284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002810309973144,0.1131859342944645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23400935927652866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963988027076886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678075714107155,0.21426340013356232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881474797246254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950964361187804
mentalhealth,enoughbulshit,2018/03/01,"Brother has mental issues and has tried to commit suicide twice Sorry for the long post. Let me know if another subreddit is more appropriate or could give other useful advice.

My brother has been fucking up for the last couple of years. This first happened a couple years ago. He stalked some girl he met to another state a 5 or 6 mile drive away. He then hung around the house trying to see her. This came after he fb messaged her thousands of times in a one-way conversation. He was lucky that he was a minor and got it expunged with some probation and community service.

The second time happened when he went away for college. He appeared to be doing fine, when he again got in trouble for stalking a girl. He had mandatory therapist sessions that he had to complete for a year. At the time, they seemed only a little helpful. Looking back, they didn't help at all. My parents forced him to stay home after that and attend the local college.

About a year ago, he stole a lot of money from my dad. This was happening for months before my dad realized. A couple months after that, he convinced my dad to buy a car saying he had a lot of money saved up. This was a lie, and I don't think my dad has seen any of the money.

Fast-forward a couple months, and he tries to commit suicide in the garage by running his car with the door down. He got rushed to the hospital. He clearly told us it was a suicide attempt, but he recanted when he later spoke with a hospital psychiatrist. I'm not sure what's true and what's not. He did this because the old car that my dad and brother bought was a POS that got hit (and they didn't do any research). So, he wanted a new car. My dad ended up buying a used sports car with the promise he pay it back.

Towards the end of last year, my brother drove my dad to the airport. My dad lectured him about his behavior, which led my brother to drive erratically. I'm unclear if he had any intent to hurt my dad. My brother says he was always in control of the car.

Most recently, he decided he wanted to buy a gun and commit suicide. He stole some checks and forged the signature to transfer a couple grand out. He then tells us he tried to check into a local mental health facility very early in the morning without any luck. He then bought a ticket to leave town for a couple of days. The scary part about the most recent incident is I don't think anything bad would turn up on his background check if he actually followed through. With all the gun violence recently and his history of mental stability, I'm also worried if he has any other ideas.

The thing with the suicide is we're unsure if he's actually suicidal or just very, very manipulative. I think it's real due to low self-worth.

I take parts of the stories with a grain of salt. He is a compulsive liar, so I don't trust a lot of what he tells me. My parents are also terrible at communicating, so I don't fully trust their stories either.

I've talked about putting him in some full time mental health center. My parents are fully behind this. Cost isn't a huge deal given how much we've paid in lawyer fees, stolen money, and stress. The problem is that there aren't really many around, and the ones that are have turned him away (sometimes according to him and sometimes my dad). It's frustrating getting turned away at every point.

I've also discussed just pressing charges and let him experience the real world, but my parents are worried about him turning to drugs and crime. This even comes up when I suggest that he move out and they cut off support. I realize they're enabling him, but I don't know how to convince them to kick him out.

This has been happening more and more frequently. He seems normal according to what therapists say, just very selfish. He has moments of clarity and self-reflection where he talks to us, but he just does it again in another months. I'd like to help as my parents are ineffective, but I live really far away.

TL;DR: brother stalks girls and is emotionally manipulative with family, lying frequently and stealing multiple times. he says he's tried to commit suicide twice, maybe more. parents are useless.

Any advice is appreciated.",4.648014557811712,6.045704575495051,5.435670414499079,80.48367091793925,70.07673267326733,8.10172847793254,29.41273703641551,8.543581382742746,2.2296660681322376,3299,127,616,53,59,1074,344,808,0.174,0.769,0.058,-0.9988,7,0,1,2,0,10,92.0,3,0,6,5,30,29,4,1,54,0,51,4,0,9,9,110,99,51,7,11,21,23,1,1,0,1,3,5,2,3,31,38,0,1,11,2,16,20,12,15,0,6,31,10,55,14,99,62,20,116,0,3,3,1,112,45,1,23,49,379,86,9,0.0,0.0,0.08860684194571512,0.0,0.0,0.08872784794901849,0.08048794024479815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891803365990828,0.0377760702726675,0.0,0.0,0.18523954310331428,0.14281618935698714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03735996906237536,0.08083046619673016,0.0,0.0,0.21327190241697724,0.06981891760477066,0.037906735727021516,0.02767515000404747,0.0,0.03863168118213898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192500133035274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03910770043928305,0.047600574229063726,0.0,0.050919466228194786,0.03624785395537585,0.3014024935286727,0.0,0.02927895997712609,0.04680495221501688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972946034056028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052649075454610526,0.0,0.0,0.05106839366944328,0.08042106858449376,0.0,0.0,0.029985980785644,0.0,0.03825108683004296,0.0,0.0,0.04440948054918942,0.042798664109873534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03861684200156597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04197116107209434,0.02371939596931752,0.04355139419340777,0.0,0.0,0.14524069980421733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058672164047388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965152172469613,0.0,0.0,0.09129110297760412,0.0,0.04553945969463182,0.0,0.0,0.052384996043075734,0.0486011672738275,0.05125057646716846,0.0,0.04738534479887109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499008210494189,0.07401340055819736,0.0,0.04807157818625396,0.0,0.09284825072529944,0.0,0.022179931484310505,0.04550228537364912,0.04008864267577943,0.040177181395202134,0.0381241956934933,0.0,0.0,0.11579124559977033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046028027451204635,0.04560995949539125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300831098925868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494998058509245,0.04825254678663138,0.033373899871860714,0.0,0.0,0.043847177335089325,0.0,0.0,0.04448192893632311,0.0,0.0,0.047639200523290064,0.0,0.061527832748039815,0.03452841067785531,0.0,0.0,0.3024650279801696,0.09832659727015593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042917258032199264,0.0,0.04348022827216988,0.0,0.0,0.043441246965718126,0.0,0.045639096601984036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334927556646736,0.05816824049984912,0.0,0.13447976348114604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441420724052584,0.0,0.0,0.03617757091133356,0.08266010751126047,0.09472328338264216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980265014694208,0.0508210897899106,0.0,0.04838988967709058,0.0,0.0,0.05200504186091229,0.0,0.0,0.34761824507322103,0.05151888195571159,0.04278854741766122,0.0,0.034134818595900694,0.07298089222204356,0.07936243189921906,0.0,0.0,0.10542477518173292,0.030161449932817764,0.08727061345733532,0.0,0.0,0.13236424078997722,0.0,0.0,0.04338122452646688,0.0,0.15411660350976075,0.19752673510001,0.0,0.0,0.16383024003918453,0.0784212854351889,0.0,0.14983756440298535,0.053555672748327794,0.03603605704659265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208584636797645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04376355513862176,0.0,0.0,0.09221091255982153,0.0,0.03225054439429363,0.0,0.0,0.14617913873289193
mentalhealth,ThrowawayforareasonL,2018/03/01,"Problem with sexually harassing women who ""deserve"" it any woman who wears too much make up, wears yoga pants, has a big cleavage, i've touched them all.

I havent gotten into trouble yet but i have seen a therapist several times now...

the first time i impulsively grabbed my therapist's boobs because her cleavage was showing.

i dont have trouble if a girl i see is not sexually attractive or revealing.

but, every time i do see a girl who is revealing, i think to myself, she's begging for it. she's a thirsty whore.

can anyoen help me",4.2723076923076935,5.89495161538462,5.818461538461538,76.50153846153847,71.30769230769229,9.046153846153846,34.153846153846146,9.516144504307137,3.4817730769230764,424,22,77,10,8,144,72,104,0.131,0.7879999999999999,0.08,-0.7264,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,3,6,1,0,6,0,10,4,3,1,1,13,16,4,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,5,0,1,3,5,14,1,5,13,2,9,0,0,3,2,12,3,1,2,6,51,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737819167041586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107565767689148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123054066847896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498709964047128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968515575156332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512053702486156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544792171817836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012536058438332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22144423734276647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688344676521962,0.0,0.0,0.2614464636544746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5374088123109091,0.0,0.14828897871145266,0.0,0.0,0.4048405660591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,confused2497,2018/03/01,"There are moments where I remember particular times of my life where I’ve had severe depression and then I feel like I’m reliving that depression all over again. In the fall of 2015 I was severely depressed—went through a year of on-again-off-again break up with my ex boyfriend who I would consider emotionally abusive; I moved away from home to live on campus for college (it was thirty minutes away, but I had no license so I couldn’t drive home anytime I wanted); I basically had no friends in college because my social anxiety kept me from going anywhere that wasn’t the classrooms or the dining hall, and I felt I had little to no friends from high school (in reality I had 2-3 at the most); college classes were difficult to juggle when I slept 14 hours a day; etc. it got to the point where I had hours of suicidal ideations every day, made tentative plans that I never followed through with, and made an impulsive sort of? attempt that I gave up on a minute or so into it.

It took me a year to get in a better state of mind—stopped interacting with my ex; moved out of my dorm and back with my parents and commuted; didn’t try to make new friends and stuck with the ones I had; etc. and since fall 2016 things have been really great. Ups and downs but in general very good.

Now I’m in a group chat with people I went to high school with, meaning im in a group chat with my ex boyfriend. And every time I see his name pop up in the chat, I get uneasy.

Sometimes when I’m alone I start thinking back to fall 2015 where we kept talking despite being broken up, when he kept coming to me for sex even though he had a girlfriend (whom he’s still with today), and I kept letting him because I was so obsessed with him that I refused to let him go. I think back to the monthly fights we’d have when we were together, where he said that he’s frustrated with my depression and anxiety and self harm and that it makes me a totally different person than who I was when I wasn’t having episodes; he would say how he couldn’t look at me when he knows I had cut, or how he was angry that I was insecure and paranoid that he’d leave me or I thought he hated me, due to my depression/anxiety/SH issues.

Thinking about all that stuff just throws me back to that time, and I feel myself just hating everything about me—how unwanted I am; how stupid I am; how I’ll never amount to anything; how I don’t deserve to be alive because I don’t contribute to society; no one likes me for me, they only like me when they’re using me for some ulterior motive; etc. I feel like I need to self harm to punish myself; I feel like I should attempt suicide like I did in September 2015.

I have no reason to relive that depression—i have an amazing boyfriend now who is understanding of my mental illnesses (because he relates to it) and is supportive of my choices; I have a lot of friends from work and hang out with them a couple times a week; I’m taking time off of school to emotionally mature. I’m happy where I am now, for the most part (occasional episodes).

I’m confused as to why I’m experiencing this. Are these kinds of flashbacks?",7.805543007510552,5.793604483306838,7.914434515651552,76.95163751987285,63.78537360890303,11.283175264514007,36.63401129324051,9.921728534948242,3.31012719697385,2456,94,508,41,29,802,277,629,0.184,0.71,0.106,-0.9939,3,1,0,0,1,1,63.0,3,0,2,6,37,33,7,3,23,0,48,5,1,12,5,94,98,41,2,8,8,4,5,6,5,3,2,2,3,3,26,35,1,5,15,3,0,14,14,16,0,2,37,10,78,17,87,50,12,90,0,3,2,1,51,37,0,10,43,339,104,12,0.0,0.08231116484454437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195047127307064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628946177420437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716828989808884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305396149995149,0.2136740592764576,0.0,0.16939425145272186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061440998536344923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059842671502961936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686777031893005,0.0,0.08960543136919087,0.0,0.17950448084097045,0.0,0.0,0.0725818708012615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628989033958454,0.0,0.0,0.2324338634540134,0.04588460016040562,0.0,0.11706375972452852,0.0,0.06243559244840444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050545831164304,0.1488891851259034,0.06670256004088501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469089757321405,0.0,0.07259092226321501,0.0,0.0789633551635237,0.058268546825423234,0.05556189311577064,0.07659145498097106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395262309647882,0.0,0.13717544286599506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679876322448035,0.13936912149356678,0.0,0.13682886795169094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504004501086674,0.0725091373566176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234281973646531,0.038179161753894325,0.0,0.0,0.07355921288430747,0.0,0.14207655539361608,0.0490690580521456,0.20363861933040767,0.069627676535901,0.061343711026192724,0.0,0.05833771082353573,0.0,0.0,0.05906132207137324,0.0,0.13146930529377154,0.09274417638882657,0.0,0.0,0.07567372415146591,0.0,0.0,0.07000990926227725,0.0,0.07014538605561578,0.0,0.055450678351579255,0.14767226270523312,0.0,0.05151148438101863,0.10715984152564946,0.06709502732510887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414999711237512,0.052835434313563516,0.0,0.0,0.07713875233111384,0.07522976542148545,0.0,0.04816208715932,0.060658947913240974,0.0,0.0,0.0656720631839799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450457159379802,0.07142722888796606,0.0,0.0,0.07869651705986162,0.0,0.06608233982989478,0.055245718024720364,0.0,0.21092351906093165,0.05535898218263369,0.0,0.1449457336401073,0.15696374815825287,0.0,0.05746670309227438,0.0,0.0,0.07081641084793089,0.0,0.0,0.06870808603515774,0.0,0.04917156685596948,0.0,0.05547921907135641,0.05808043615462144,0.0,0.0,0.07952708467381618,0.15197887018001774,0.0788342831320931,0.0,0.0,0.05223315902245697,0.0558377443595465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046153103355819215,0.1335416451063782,0.06825439880594247,0.055151805173127434,0.20254399239432186,0.0,0.06584989682325375,0.0,0.07718426500188116,0.04716589916252269,0.0,0.0,0.07232122490845752,0.0,0.060000193956994234,0.0,0.057320425674817176,0.040975491979822816,0.0,0.055725032683666485,0.0,0.0,0.06439983560355587,0.0626863072829725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505753404801239,0.0,0.0,0.09869967869758928,0.0,0.0,0.08947342934018568
mentalhealth,backburnr,2018/03/01,"Wife was denied short-term disability due to depression. Insurance company says she can challenge with documentation from doctor. Doctor says they're uncomfortable bc they don't want to lose their license. (US) As the title says, my wife applied for short-term disability and was denied coverage by the insurance company. 

The insurance company said she can submit documentation to challenge the decision and would like a doctor to state what her diagnosis, status, ongoing issues, and treatment are/have been. 

When my wife asked her psychologist to provide the letter, the doctor said that after talking to her director she didn't feel comfortable providing this a risking her license to practice. 

We don't understand how this would put her license at risk as these are just statements of fact. Additionally, she's not providing documentation for a claim where her opinion is necessary, just the facts for the coverage itself. 

Is this not a fairly common thing for doctors to provide? Isn't coverage (and claims) denied all the time and you can provide additional documentation, often from a doctor? 

Is there really a risk to her license? Any suggestions on what to say to the doctor?  Thanks!

edit: we're not seeking coverage for anything related to mental illness... more to do with potential pregnancy and how wife's employer's benefits work. ",8.724949053857351,10.376609296943233,8.914218340611356,58.34370014556042,60.83406113537118,12.569548762736538,39.72081513828239,12.10132525352546,5.81950806404658,1095,56,151,37,15,360,122,229,0.114,0.831,0.055,-0.9302,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,1,2,4,8,11,0,3,16,0,17,8,0,2,3,30,24,11,0,3,5,4,1,1,0,2,8,6,0,0,9,11,0,0,4,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,7,18,6,29,16,2,10,0,2,0,0,30,3,0,2,6,108,27,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565206323727731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915471511546492,0.0,0.10400132425238752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581724338078383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7970651677956078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625004024538461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161134077915002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434987209983616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445741159952647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121112378380105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183438798377374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126794854338539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116435514808889,0.3538736672146129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941646552889022,0.0,0.10242168156547647,0.0,0.0,0.07390784535803611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486926763156152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581249185845033,0.13381695368045804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656166130664398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098944970866682,0.0,0.0,0.15805395649845358,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nicolehaley99,2018/03/01,"Guilty 
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse yesterday I was bombarded with even more bullsh$t that has caused me tremendous stress. I work two jobs and tonight I am not going in to one of them. I feel like I can't even get up off of the floor. I contacted the GM who told me to contact the other managers and I told them what was going on and they didn't care. I didn't technically ""call off"" but I'm not going in. And now I feel guilty because I know how stressful it can be when somebody calls off and the rest of us have to pick up the other persons work. I also feel bad because it will probably be considered a ""no call no show"" and I'm sure I'll be given sh$t about it tomorrow when I go in. I was told by the owner that I should work over time this week to try and make enough money to pay him back and with me not going in tonight I'm not going to get overtime. I am really considering quitting one job and trying to get social security or something because my mental health is rapidly deteriorating and I cannot keep working 70 hours weekly. Can somebody please tell me not to feel guilty for not going in?",3.8479310344827553,4.664330517241385,4.916724137931039,85.63818965517244,71.41379310344827,7.6965517241379295,27.0,7.8658589789855275,1.4241844827586203,888,29,189,11,16,292,127,232,0.127,0.8190000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9508,3,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,3,5,11,7,0,2,7,0,20,1,0,4,1,35,47,17,0,2,9,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,12,0,2,6,1,2,7,13,3,0,3,10,4,27,4,28,31,3,33,0,0,0,0,18,13,0,1,14,129,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239656498113042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922708647995788,0.08602941244716271,0.1884264246370948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156288983812833,0.0,0.10505042815446658,0.1058447013313454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646206837486412,0.0,0.1361064865736757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838913500791348,0.07360778927084348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532486611738336,0.0,0.4098977304620508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952073916044837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146812009723216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449146851466954,0.0915817005580343,0.0,0.0,0.05662500652162895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033739880570527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877625583705665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383443183245727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396375393170017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996565569782487,0.0,0.11310082029186325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108849978299264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958975721493078,0.0,0.0,0.06600646899965174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503058584552127,0.0,0.07932090773074395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360510927558004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710869382997099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005659885666238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845147086682972,0.0,0.0,0.08179779712658053,0.060080181771279335,0.0,0.0,0.2953613271366455,0.0,0.1399071757987939,0.0,0.10064962818696392,0.0,0.1239376856674905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529594648885884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30004105412068205,0.0,0.10500084655122424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CuriousBetsy69,2018/03/01,"trying to recover from nuerotoxicity/ dopaminergic damage During my late high school career i was using alot of drugs. Anything and everything you could think of but mainly stimulants. I did alot of what i thought to be MDMA, i guess it could have been anything and took a good bit of adhd medicine (whatever i could find) including vyvanse, adderall, ritalin, ect. for school purposes and just in general to make me feel good. Note that i was never prescribed it or diagnosed with adhd so had no reason to be taking it.I stated to develop a bit of a habit. I was an avid pot smoker and drank about every weekend. I started to notice myself changing but was unaware that this was why. I was so caught up in getting fucked up nothing else mattered. I didnt think anything would huurt me. Man was i wrong. I started to develop very bad attitude problems, and got mean. Things really changed after graduating and starting a community college. I consistantly bough adderall/vyvanse from friends for the first semester which was probably about six months and took it probably 3-4 times a week. Ranging from all mg levels that are prescribed. After that first semester i felt sick. Sick mentally and physically. i quit everything, began eating right, and taking supplements. after about three months i felt better but never returned to my older self. After a while i began smoking pot again and also drinking. I was able to function but not well and was still not happy like i used to be prior to any drug use. I didnt realize the toll drugs had taken on me. eventally i decided to take a couple grams of mushrooms. I ate about 3g of mushroom one night, had a very uncomfortable trip, and have not been right since. I declined mentally afterwards, and did not sleep for three weeks. I think the mushrooms must have exacerbated the damage from drugs but i am not sure.

Since then i have been stuggling with Memory problems, what i think to be adrenal fatigue, vision problems, anhedonia, lack of personality, irritation, i cant sleep good at all anymore (its just not a good deep sleep anymore), i have a hard time remembering what i just did, thinking things through, i have no sense of how i feel or what i want, cant decide between two things, experience no pleasure, cant make rational decisions, have no motivation or drive to do anything, have a very hard time reading a book or following a movie anymore, lack of awarness and also explaining myself. I eat so much food anymore and cannot get satisfied. I dont enjoy hanging out or converssating with others anymore and feel like an alien.

After hours and hours of searching around and reading up on things i beleive this to be brain damage caused by amphetimines/stimulants and drugs in general. Im 19 years old and feel like im 80. It feels like their is a big hole in my head and all i want to do is somehow get back to the old me. I am currently sober, taking vitamins, and eating a plant based diet. I am looking into nootropics and also bpc-157 for repair. I am wondering with sobriety and a good healthy lifestyle, if i will ever potentially heal from this or my dopaminergic sistem will ever fully recover so i can enjoy life and be a functioning person again. has anyone else had any problems with this or does anybody know of anything that may for sure help my situation. i am looking for any information that anybody can provide. Would bpc157 help me with no side effects or without causeing anymore damage?? how much? Where should i seek help? i have been diagnosed with depression but fear taking meds for causing more damage. I just want to live a normal sober life I am currently supplementing 1 b supreme (b complex)

100mg of magnesium glycinate Complex

30mg of zinc

2000 iu of vitamin D

A good fish oil supplement- been playing with dosages

300mg of uridine

500mg of alpha gpc

annd lions mane

I am eating a paleo diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables except for my blood sugar does not seem to regulate as well as it used to. Lately i have been skipping breakfast, eating within a 6 hour window and trying to eat very little so i am able to get into ketosis. Im looking into fasting but am not sure how much it will help me. Part of me wants to just quit taking any supplements, try and get everything i need from food and do it completely natural. i try to excercise every day but lately i have not been getting good sleep due to fasting. I have completely quit drinking coffee but i really miss that cup of joe and stuggle with anhedonic depression and really inability to feel anything since i ate a couple grams of mushrooms a few months back. It seems to have made the damage from stims worse. Can somebody point me in the right direction/give me any advice? I have memory problems, little reaction to anything, depression problems, vision problems, forgetfulness, have a hard time explaining myself, and dont enjoy thing/cant get into things like i used to. i feel like a totally different person.

Would this be best left to heal on its own with no supplements or should i continue what i am doing? Should i continue fasting and staying away from caffiene or would one cup a day be alright? Any advice that can be given or similiar experiences that others have gone through and could share would be great

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mentalhealth,Veterinari4n,2018/03/01,Do you guys ever wonder how your life might be different..? Having bad anxiety and short term depression here and there. Do you guys every wonder how active or social you would be without ANY illness? I always wonder but I can't even begin to imagine how school would have been different since I've adapted to this for so long. Anyone have any thoughts?,4.265909090909092,6.721531651515157,4.612121212121213,81.58818181818184,73.3939393939394,6.824242424242425,24.63636363636364,7.793537801064563,1.5769272727272727,283,9,47,4,6,89,49,66,0.097,0.851,0.052000000000000005,-0.4608,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,0,0,8,2,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,3,1,17,17,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,4,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,5,4,35,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141406542565012,0.0,0.0,0.23113471171470384,0.0,0.13000625412455474,0.0,0.0,0.11882839336924808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189566041129725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637202198077245,0.0,0.0,0.3551094147139418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224602870846426,0.15372355635823584,0.14318466423184398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365414162474457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200360661216176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039458233996136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028311681668244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199181782877246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057895639335566,0.0,0.0,0.17323591918158238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491609570847712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638193961901686,0.5528891817411097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24144586484085145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChurchyR,2018/03/01,"I wasted my opportunities and now I torture myself with it. I'm from Melbourne, I'm 22, I have never held a paying job, I have a cert and dip in Liberal arts have practically dropped out of uni, cause i couldn't handle it, particularly with my fluctuating mental health, I'm looking for work and just realized that I'm never going to get a career in public service. I hate my self.

Sorry just wanted to vent.",5.451851851851847,5.819633938271608,7.481086419753088,70.28088888888888,67.64197530864197,9.442962962962962,29.78024691358025,9.3871,2.6464795061728386,323,11,59,6,5,115,55,81,0.158,0.8079999999999999,0.034,-0.8591,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,15,14,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,1,1,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,1,10,1,10,12,0,8,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,3,38,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958095689397182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044483811425968,0.0,0.1636517186192996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28429639205292684,0.0,0.30608317878466385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28575135265302304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24181005522920096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29019136655037797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44417799107769707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30040033592311544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223425518981861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984358554376533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963499770718624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JozWhedon,2018/03/01,"Friend said they set a date for their suicide, not sure what to do? I had a friend, Emily (names have been changed), message me that a mutual friend of ours, Dave, called her and told her he had enough pills to kill himself and that he had already set a date. He wouldn't tell her the date and she tried to talk to him about whatever and messaged me after he got off the phone. 

Backstory on Dave: He's struggled with depression for a long time. It got really bad about a year ago when I got a call from him that told me basically the same thing minus the date. I talked him down and since then, he seemed to be doing a lot better. He moved away from home and, as far as I know, doesn't have a support network where he is. We've tried to tell him to move back home but he, for whatever reasons, hasn't. He's said he will in 6 months to a year, but he's been isolated for a long time before (university) and it definitely hurt his mental state. 

Last time this happened I suggested he reach out to his parents He told me he's tried to talk to them but they don't understand mental health issues (he needs to suck it up and man up type of people). After Emily's message today I reached out to his brother who also said I shouldn't tell his parents, but wouldn't give me any real reason why besides he wouldn't. 

Dave also has had a history of...hyperbole. He'll tell you he got a job offer when in reality they just called him for an interview, he'll tell you he's an expert in a subject when he just discovered it last week. Overall, he's a friendly and enthusiastic guy but it can be tough to ascertain the truth sometimes when talking to him. However, given the serious nature of the subject, I've decided to treat it as though he's not exaggerating. 

I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point. Reach out obviously, but do I bring it up? Do I let him? He's about a days trip north of where I am so I can't physically talk to him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I wasn't sure what details to include either so if I left something important out, please feel free to ask for me info. Thanks. ",3.966788543083446,4.636420881670535,5.209455156412512,84.18433874709976,71.04176334106728,8.543435474837988,27.159052724217936,8.74248658614541,1.7761328266261307,1644,53,354,28,29,548,204,431,0.087,0.794,0.119,0.9392,4,0,1,0,0,1,50.0,1,2,5,1,17,23,2,1,25,0,32,2,0,2,5,50,58,29,2,7,13,3,1,0,4,8,2,3,2,2,17,14,0,0,8,0,1,4,12,8,0,0,18,4,44,16,56,28,4,54,0,2,0,0,89,21,1,3,26,212,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455953999176494,0.06763540352049299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419901852655018,0.12203426807115395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037733206377597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133026058089467,0.0,0.07168642226740407,0.05867003989915012,0.06370736682400037,0.0,0.0,0.06492573514695882,0.0,0.0,0.0674812066149229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337326902212817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807153512417738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920722947289665,0.0,0.0657171337732982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883836294900752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385796051851425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23579696233145175,0.0,0.0,0.07319397443125805,0.0,0.0,0.24409652698229925,0.08412109050361706,0.0,0.07554905976052538,0.06747189507616018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110340064005007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307037169463225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816807971513409,0.0,0.0,0.07963744398680825,0.07571604074969035,0.0,0.08441471660377955,0.0,0.04193252004482107,0.12438947244649087,0.0,0.0,0.08290024335927475,0.0780219854661195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504631216630808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486758634450313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378503815249955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090198356016423,0.1621897870850884,0.0,0.05657553105196784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944438430615796,0.0,0.0,0.05289685766876765,0.0,0.0,0.08375455837100412,0.07212822333811722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684617764138162,0.048879775110640185,0.15689834818257384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773650171167744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946071311512736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311620183962738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873951735656487,0.07546271480454035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797653939634571,0.0,0.0834598865906585,0.08658440902826804,0.21573572352682768,0.0,0.0,0.3066355083575729,0.3334480972892233,0.07024684817925418,0.0,0.0,0.05069037251456111,0.0,0.0749644260009312,0.0,0.13347354364321534,0.0,0.07232353963897166,0.21872394426818428,0.0,0.15540820603763691,0.0,0.0,0.07943105803863222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612033094144035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884894051952141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054201376683995765,0.0,0.0,0.09826947991867643
mentalhealth,komahinae,2018/03/01,"I can’t look after my friend anymore I love her so much and I want to be there for her but I can’t do it anymore.  

She’s been diagnosed with OCD and BPD and is on a load of different meds that are messing with her head. She dissociates a lot and does stupid things. A lot of the time, that involves taking a lot of pills.

On Saturday she got drunk, took five packs of paracetamol and I don’t know how many sleeping pills. As soon as I found out on Sunday morning I called in sick to work and stayed with her in hospital all day while she was on a drip until she fell asleep.

She does this every few weeks and I’m getting to a point where I can’t deal with it anymore. She doesn’t understand how it hurts us, how I lie awake at night terrified of what she’s going to do, how every time my phone goes off I’m scared in case it’s her saying she overdosed again.

It’s like she honestly doesn’t care. It’s not a suicide attempt, it’s not a cry for attention. The last time she bought the paracetamol, got on the next bus to the hospital and took them while she was on the bus, got straight off at A and E and casually walked in saying she had ODed. Her GP today begged her to stop, her job is on the line if she ODs one more time on medication she prescribed her. She doesn’t care.

I can’t do this anymore. My antidepressants aren’t working, I’ve been waiting four months for a referral to a psychiatrist, I started self harming again, sometimes I walk down to the river and stare at it for ages just wanting to take that last step. I haven’t been to uni for weeks. I spent all my money during a manic phase and I’m in so much debt. The shift I missed to visit her in hospital would have paid for my food for two weeks. Now I’m in a downward spiral and I can’t see a way out.

Our other flatmates are similar. One is in my room in the middle of the night, crying and shaking over imaginary crises and obsessing over the tiniest things. The other is texting me while she’s away asking for help with her bulimia and intrusive thoughts.

I have to be strong for them but if I have to be strong for much longer I swear to god I’m going back down to the river and I don’t know if I’ll come back.",1.7985064935064945,3.4260655064935115,3.217530303030305,92.56629545454544,77.91774891774892,6.611341991341993,22.15606060606061,7.461004344511776,0.6205322943722944,1712,49,392,23,40,560,207,462,0.107,0.7879999999999999,0.105,-0.4347,4,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,2,0,2,5,15,17,1,3,28,0,34,11,3,4,2,53,69,34,2,6,8,0,0,1,1,1,5,2,1,1,18,25,2,2,6,2,5,11,14,8,0,5,16,5,59,9,69,49,10,80,0,2,3,1,44,36,0,6,32,265,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550301777362625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366815016198056,0.0,0.08408591660817233,0.137636219700178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271906111372525,0.0,0.09138702921658197,0.0,0.18249748225593992,0.0,0.0,0.07709423511976815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966177645409309,0.05771853111239138,0.09226806870008276,0.0,0.09083815343639996,0.0,0.09350591597014732,0.0,0.0,0.1566398597857732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081113174835709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822082141639884,0.09812947016177807,0.06914560346275737,0.0,0.04675878840272127,0.0,0.1017270672570349,0.0,0.2147381564351436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185033070730987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998833714965595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580900372091347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881253223421595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837105192687476,0.1459049353593712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372399383202216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515542140120034,0.0,0.0,0.2282629101892335,0.08077505451841167,0.0,0.0,0.09073649257213567,0.0,0.0,0.09941162864075566,0.09015938992018546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714361095021585,0.0,0.197373043263906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518168499972693,0.16797482044509304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212917443625103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846041353560799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234412561435855,0.08960268429114858,0.0,0.07131797898039659,0.0,0.09336548810579616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956220781685105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851538887533676,0.0,0.06334684333425658,0.09539250557514127,0.0,0.07482397908224139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789581962692866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458207468315395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891642242089327,0.0,0.0,0.07105107657311527,0.2087470198715512,0.0,0.08483323522836254,0.0,0.19887019493462949,0.0,0.0,0.08742612503734191,0.09317013056421274,0.10765456166293316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557597558739598,0.07103900826520505,0.2153686657300408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303105991865358,0.0,0.0,0.0635765085736597,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thomson_ashley,2018/03/02,"Waiting for the Crash I’m really just writing this out of curiosity. All my life I’ve had depression, and I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about 5 years ago. I’m so used to being in a depression, that when I’m not in a depression I’m waiting for the crash. When I’m hypomanic, I’m waiting for the crash. Just want to see if that is an experience anyone else has as well. My psychologist keeps telling me to stop waiting for the crash and just live now, but it’s hard to do that when you are so used to be in a state of depression. So yeah, anyone else?",3.320086206896552,4.005381698275865,5.2218965517241385,83.45025862068967,72.5344827586207,9.248275862068963,28.29310344827586,9.516144504307137,2.2720724137931043,431,16,97,10,8,149,67,116,0.193,0.757,0.05,-0.9295,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,8,1,8,3,0,2,1,21,23,11,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,2,5,1,18,19,1,12,0,4,1,0,3,4,0,1,7,61,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310131628181606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415325138096797,0.3539336012926672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5950362774082731,0.17530196320796748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288562232704019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689482898131942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471860396127118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351691728436756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199362448706765,0.0,0.0,0.1525103995193835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064557198554603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763139445631115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439736973883432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096041407124589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983403970364465,0.0,0.0,0.10187170857136067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552914154699595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122271726611548
mentalhealth,wanderthrusted,2018/03/02,"Help Everyday I want to kill myself but I could never hurt my family like that. I try to distract myself all day until I’m left hyperventilating because I can’t handle this anymore. 

I’ve had to drop out of school and move back home. How do I make these thoughts stop? 

I’m on antidepressants, have been for months, I’m working on my physical appearance so I don’t look as fucked up as I feel. 

I’m just so sad and lost. Somebody help",0.3774344569288388,2.804383438202251,2.5496910112359537,89.99247659176031,91.02247191011236,5.663295880149812,19.77621722846442,7.1686216300943375,0.5904599250936338,342,11,73,6,12,115,64,89,0.254,0.615,0.131,-0.9389,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,2,1,0,0,7,1,0,2,2,15,19,9,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,4,2,11,1,12,14,1,15,0,3,1,1,2,5,1,1,8,43,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218267524556365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199324198880642,0.0,0.1363509757818821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858729784994212,0.0,0.0,0.14425268741726627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21086207708680227,0.0,0.11309744090589832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067851038220805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29985097266874555,0.0,0.22436553243738971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394500691398489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474646481442173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24302491768425116,0.0,0.0,0.10927692533622152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783172929313827,0.0,0.24416906708878555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930564455704615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785362616774592,0.23773247253785054,0.0,0.0,0.17251292569077764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263723228910421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700337409573145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757397047412846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518615022478436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131930057051573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283898575839212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ForceRounds,2018/03/02,"I've actively trained myself to forget my own name First of all i don't know if this is the right place to post this as i don't know if this would even fall under a symptom of mental illness. 
Basically my name is Ben, extremely common and simple. I've always had problems with self confidence growing up and am in 2nd year of college now. Due to how common the name is almost every grade level had another Ben in it and in combination with my confidence problems (and that most of the time the other Ben was more popular/more approachable/had more friends) i'd always assume that when my name was shouted out, they meant the other person. Fast forward however many years to now and i've basically trained myself to ignore the name completely unless someone is talking directly to my face. Friends of mine are getting concerned cause there is another Ben in our college program, i'd just like some opinions on the matter. Thank you",8.360960451977405,7.609380915254237,8.279999999999998,70.72757062146893,61.88135593220339,11.030508474576273,38.31073446327685,10.25414643259724,3.9971649717514133,750,33,128,14,9,243,106,177,0.068,0.825,0.107,0.743,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,1,1,7,7,0,0,8,0,14,3,1,2,1,34,19,11,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,1,2,1,0,2,8,8,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,1,5,1,13,4,23,13,6,26,0,0,0,0,13,12,0,7,13,87,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594222190284348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923996836427252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684820247811499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804964553856601,0.0,0.0,0.18422234956319428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605086543084735,0.0,0.14803823700247987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945377196511728,0.0,0.0,0.2714970205297376,0.0,0.09179811223830653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312469750088704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858401218339823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813632503707946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706835256751965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341799594738098,0.18357333161082692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827590720433866,0.0,0.0,0.3362500857854457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005029545015602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329763984691586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488734681898294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262377991111392,0.0,0.14122425680900827,0.0,0.1617646791858475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024544423314518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248151132467071,0.0,0.0,0.2262952901778653
mentalhealth,caffeineeeequeen,2018/03/02,"Pen pal/buddy? Hi everybody, I know this may seem a bit odd but I am looking for someone to text/message who can relate to having bad mental health days. I practice self care and do receive professional help for my depression/anxiety but I thought it would be nice to have a friend who can relate to my struggles that may want to chat every once in awhile! I’m a 24 year old female! Feel free to message me!",1.107926829268294,3.60845662195122,2.717756097560976,90.18273170731709,86.43902439024393,5.231219512195122,22.83414634146341,6.742157984588678,0.7857960975609752,321,12,64,4,10,105,63,82,0.102,0.6579999999999999,0.24,0.9322,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,3,0,10,1,0,0,0,11,18,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,4,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,5,9,13,1,5,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,3,3,37,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857868002621182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20277748094824835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26513959901415857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247611376013765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662424197380806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046195453701306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227970256098232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763259423715412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581482189267043,0.0,0.0,0.1627835575898254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346919215781236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039407566395605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244745185672516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548401198685928,0.2586373683340417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109010515638253,0.25335535259221964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057740080906746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538894081031301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280326084559826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432447848925868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725203720673514,0.0,0.0,0.15639351134268412
mentalhealth,fuckmylife112,2018/03/02,"what’s wrong with me i am so ashamed about this and i have a therapist but i’m too afraid and embarrassed to bring this up to her but i’ve been feeling this way for a really long time. i know i definitely shouldn’t and it’s super unhealthy and i’ve never talked about it ever. 

basically, i like being like used. or manipulated. i was really into this guy who kinda shitty towards me at times and he was the biggest gaslighter ever. i knew but i didn’t really care, i just wanted him to like me. i know i have some insecurity issues. 

i’ve been in abusive relationships before, they didn’t like beat me up but there was a little smacking around and stuff. when i was younger my dad used to hit my dad and i was super against it and i think domestic violence is horrible, but when my past boyfriends did it to me i didn’t care that much. i’m so confused on why i’m like this. 

im also sexually submissive. like throw me around, manhandle me, whatever. i even have like rape fantasies. i don’t wanna feel this way at all because i know it’s wrong but idk why i’m like this. im not really sexually promisicous and i’m pretty much a normal girl except this. 

i don’t even seem like the type of girl you can really around and stuff, i have a pretty strong personality. can anyone think of a reason why i’m like this? ",0.1857783983245227,2.572468040590408,2.724051062132244,88.57793258202854,91.84132841328413,6.029360726039692,18.763438715468236,7.432916251226849,0.6901805325620827,1033,31,219,21,37,355,130,271,0.185,0.594,0.221,0.8918,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,1,1,4,17,23,1,5,8,0,23,1,0,4,4,49,45,22,0,4,10,2,2,10,0,1,0,0,0,4,19,15,0,0,10,1,0,2,8,8,0,0,12,2,34,15,25,30,4,26,0,0,0,1,14,13,0,5,19,144,53,1,0.0,0.11448983364864865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727435831339069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756540260316847,0.0,0.0,0.2580614971587259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890428019846242,0.0,0.08222435551596223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970398748550352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764538685173984,0.1748133367866099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771728160577338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956781272416149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875229469798176,0.1008558084391682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593146890693504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4720815962130109,0.09684787135491,0.0,0.08551382558509432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206720101462908,0.0,0.07452641724399273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467612661358916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224353146517446,0.0,0.08437291428210555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661332638544424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30951578731764423,0.0993509394358815,0.0,0.1037436278464756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796761956784738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123469427418016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766691280719945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121939808141329,0.0,0.12383221451809714,0.0,0.0,0.11269055924335425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669132550364638,0.0,0.0,0.056994421951160015,0.15339956612410988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26157854428728644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129778230233984,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChickenMeats,2018/03/02,My boyfriend uses weed and alcohol to cope with his depression and ptsd but is now willing to work on healthier coping skills but is lost on how to start. How can i help him? Hes willing to try to stop using them for coping to work on healthier coping skills but he doesn't know how. I'm bad at articulating my words and don't want to accidentally say the wrong thing or something that reinforces his thought of alcohol and weed the only outlet. Hes seeing a therapist which he doesn't think is helping but I'm so proud of him for going and for even willing to try new methods.  Any advice on what to do / how to get him started? I don't know how to approach the situation. He's not comfortable talking to his therapist about anything yet,5.568573573573574,5.839916067567568,6.530090090090091,77.53442942942947,67.37837837837839,9.82102102102102,32.66066066066066,9.725611199111238,2.9837003003002995,590,24,116,12,9,197,84,148,0.152,0.7759999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.8998,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,6,10,6,0,0,4,0,14,2,0,7,0,26,29,16,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,6,2,1,4,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,2,2,13,2,24,24,0,13,0,2,1,0,16,5,0,1,6,77,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842370044840245,0.0,0.3465181360634393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024849043508228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341255725936513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536506259556685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396354043544058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070800238582585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470203140775648,0.0,0.09213764449596884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173338613304844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781959758700521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769752677323869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657839670885454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330105410267606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895118924844372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289258876283816,0.0,0.0,0.12919021005222853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822318727684089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248094033735721,0.0,0.0,0.22950151177861405,0.0,0.0,0.13554121573236658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303074882925758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764721761949549,0.10770662468882902,0.10388120410822424,0.0,0.12870672498222122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201403342281842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800426364381458,0.0,0.0,0.09562373091330688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360534317099447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772549100925324,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cometdrop,2018/03/02,"Situational Cause of Suicidal Thoughts Can an isolated, traumatic, situational event cause persistent or chronic suicidal thoughts?

Even after the traumatic event is over and done with? 

If so, what is this called? Is there any word or scientific term that describes this so I can research it?

I'd like to figure out how I can possibly speak about this or deal with it.",4.733934065934066,7.879269646153848,5.2775824175824155,73.76384615384616,75.61538461538461,9.868131868131867,32.362637362637365,9.957137785484203,4.132186813186813,297,15,50,10,7,95,46,65,0.252,0.716,0.032,-0.9593,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,3,0,15,9,8,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,8,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,5,36,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445145913541389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699722694197915,0.0,0.0,0.4366141400840619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190892429138844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174722704526542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403613403593912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382201384280727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395739304342759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4777419540330669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649045180779588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374195817454298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fapstronaut1902,2018/03/02,"I almost beat my younger sister up Also I said horrible things to her. Like she was dead to me. And she was no sister of mine. When she had convulsions I will watch her die.


I'm 22 she's 20

She pissed me off. I'm fed up with her. But I overreacted. she is always mean to me and I'm really done with her. I've been there for her and she treats me like scum. And always wants to put me in trouble. And everything I do is wrong and I'm stupid. Still that doesn't justifies my actions. 

I need help. I don't want to be like this. But I just really can't handle being treated like I'm useless and the worst brother. Since her attitude makes me barely talk to her lately. And she feels superior than me. 

I want to move out but need my parents for college money. ",-0.932603519668735,1.1898665962732975,1.6113431677018646,95.45833980331268,97.32298136645964,4.91935817805383,16.025103519668733,6.6274283507984215,-0.184919461697723,586,15,134,9,24,199,91,161,0.163,0.767,0.069,-0.9016,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,2,0,1,0,14,2,1,1,0,24,29,13,2,5,4,4,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,11,1,0,2,0,1,3,4,6,0,0,7,3,35,7,18,19,1,11,0,1,1,0,22,5,1,1,7,89,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839692814471024,0.0,0.0,0.146921009089136,0.30573991344054324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906726028345211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800959123297356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511590484268399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928944732270889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314380382784006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20724443235789514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590257156545374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263468642493786,0.0,0.0,0.20012520016384144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952655394188081,0.0,0.2724524592407878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399958405316698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468958448930092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353917795981053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476001920141393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197528056209286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671922052317454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766736924807713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205556355041446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32508887171433337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086924092112968,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,niko-to-keeks,2018/03/02,"When does it start to get better? I hope I'm in the right place - mods, feel free to redirect me if I'm not.


I started this as a long post, thinking it would be helpful to start at the beginning, but it doesn't seem to much matter. The long and short is that I'm sad. I've always been that sad person, who doesn't seem sad. I cover it up, whether when I was a kid, by hiding in books, or in college, by drinking far too much and leaving before he woke up, or now, working 2 jobs, living a busy life and floating through everything. I'm sick of being a ghost. I'm sick of coping. 


This is the 4th different drug in 3 years. It handles the anxiety, but not the depression. I'm noticing other behaviors start to pop up, the nasty stuff - the manic, hyper episodes, where I can go hours without sleep, I'm wired for days, usually because I forgot my meds for a day or two and I feel FUCKING GREAT. Or more usual, I'm exhausted, slept through 3 alarms, late for work, but once more can't fall asleep that night. I'm getting impulsive, I want to make snap decisions. I can't tell if I'm trying to do it to shake things up and shake myself out of a funk, or it's something more serious.


My friends are split between thinking I'm fine, or I'm about to kill myself. I joke and say we can flip a coin. I'm not going to, not because I don't want to, but because there's too many people I care about who would be devastated if I did something that stupid. 


At the end of the day, I'm sick of being sad. I want to know... where's that magic cocktail that makes me feel human again? Where's the therapist who discovers my secret source of pain and suddenly I'm free? More simply, when do I get to feel better? ",3.3613559322033915,3.935439612994351,4.62916666666667,88.14510593220342,72.36158192090394,7.707909604519775,26.614406779661017,7.793537801064563,1.3165389830508478,1309,42,291,16,24,434,178,354,0.196,0.682,0.122,-0.9883,2,0,4,0,0,1,54.0,1,0,0,4,13,24,3,3,18,0,21,12,3,2,0,49,66,25,2,9,19,0,4,0,1,2,7,1,0,3,21,9,2,1,11,4,3,5,10,14,0,1,6,5,23,12,42,54,6,47,0,5,0,1,13,18,1,12,23,168,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865935874931941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961235553172018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903181436791782,0.0,0.08855489309260307,0.0,0.0,0.18408081245497515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610508859130054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013473210041732,0.0,0.08963431438202685,0.0,0.0,0.10872975753067148,0.0,0.0,0.09107131777406977,0.0,0.0,0.1019478153257904,0.12068678104702875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217407724654487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353033689069436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21048127094700486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040330518999271,0.09620993878542736,0.16311497532666264,0.0,0.11828940706484252,0.0,0.0,0.11473623147307448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975513030675666,0.0,0.0,0.10336381098924416,0.10248681572509874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103272236791886,0.0,0.11513672024459524,0.0,0.057193496866342376,0.0,0.11739415167559193,0.11019384445128948,0.0,0.0,0.07350687885790216,0.0,0.0,0.09189466670227506,0.18419524568137116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893347884005874,0.10550944006261197,0.0,0.0,0.11559698833696685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300510072558154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976615292666828,0.0,0.0,0.11848303103571263,0.0,0.11082988722852034,0.0,0.0,0.11073655225286252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214821003088441,0.09086887160474916,0.10872975753067148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996691536185118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888741959332553,0.0,0.08275969548764085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894806738844973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414396820567803,0.0,0.0,0.16023451003050693,0.0,0.0,0.2946417601327433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913389029860785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096072779319836,0.0,0.0,0.1208319106216692,0.06913869375049267,0.13336618389111685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065589138228802,0.0,0.1016601065133802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22923418507215104,0.0,0.1841474430935449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003186200564495,0.0,0.15152666765760608,0.0,0.0,0.14785499484476705,0.0,0.0,0.06701690222503176
mentalhealth,killergut,2018/03/02,"Emotionally abusive parent avoiding responsability So I have a friend who is in need of some help, and I'm coming here to seek some advice on how I can help my friend.

I'm going to keep names private, but let's just say my friend Jacob, who is 23 has a very selfish dad. Jacob's dad demands attention, love, obedience and wants to have a part in every aspect of Jacob's life, whether it's knowing where Jacob is going at any time of the day, to demanding Jacob seeks his advice for all of his actions, and if he does something without doing so first, the dad will lash out at Jacob. He will call Jacob useless, call him garbage, call him names, constantly belittle his emotional state, blame him for all the problems, his dad will play victim saying things like ""because you hurt yourself because of ""me"", I have to be careful of what I say around you, but I'm not going to do that anymore, I won't hold back."" The dad will also often say things like ""you need therapy sessions, you clearly have mental issues, how can anyone be as submissive and passive as you, with such low self esteem"", while proceeding to belittle Jacob, make fun of him for these things, and then demand submission to his every whim. 
Jacob isn't very good at confronting his dad, if he brings up his issues, his dad gets very loud and violent, denying any wrong he's done, yelling his head off at Jacob, saying everyone is against him, and even sometimes getting physical, not necessarily always exerting the violence directly onto Jacob's body, but it's very scary nonetheless. Jacob's dad does not seem to care about changing himself or looking inwards, he only blames Jacob for everything, and will keep on pushing Jacob with passive aggressive things such as ""you clearly don't want me in your life, you're better without me"", because he wants Jacob to say ""no I didn't say that"", and then reassure him that it's not his fault, and it's Jacob at fault. Jacob does this every time and only hurts himself more because he cares for his dad and wants him to be happy. Jacob's dad refuses to believe he has any effect on Jacob's issues of submissiveness, low self esteem, depression, or self harm. Simply says ""it's your own fault"".

I want to try to help Jacob find a safe way to communicate his problems about his dad, and possibly work it out. My suggestion is to get a therapy session where Jacob can present his problems and feelings, and see what someone else has to say outside of me. If the therapist comes to see that a lot of Jacob's issues stem from his dad, is it possible for the therapist to suggest calling in Jacob's dad? I'm not sure if therapists do that, but I was hoping it would lead to a safe environment where Jacob can talk to his dad while getting a turn to present his side of the story and his feelings, without getting drowned out by screaming and scared into submission.",16.39863746958637,7.810020226277372,14.592306569343064,55.512790754257935,55.67883211678832,17.31406326034063,53.321654501216535,12.10132525352546,6.318501070559609,2276,92,402,37,15,740,237,548,0.187,0.677,0.136,-0.9866,1,1,1,0,1,0,71.0,0,8,0,5,19,41,4,2,16,0,36,5,2,5,5,87,74,40,1,16,20,15,2,2,3,7,2,12,0,3,23,26,0,7,7,1,0,9,13,22,0,1,3,17,50,19,72,60,8,50,0,6,3,1,90,26,0,12,15,259,73,4,0.0,0.07030948083621502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597484070032747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745504331537024,0.04937653547817682,0.0,0.0,0.12106191573108005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05885040975414256,0.04149266557672823,0.0,0.0,0.05282614566672066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045629630574017206,0.0,0.1446950957233299,0.0,0.0,0.06685708067718177,0.0,0.05248236636315058,0.0,0.06591456666741337,0.0,0.0,0.24237552536640386,0.0,0.18150656958248385,0.0,0.06277499836620241,0.10223417863595666,0.0,0.0641266303354167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03827008991776211,0.0,0.05111038856652123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557893471084946,0.06072653156263645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049571861074970726,0.13350146447907424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03919422622372543,0.0,0.1499922675103392,0.05670294862479858,0.05333193982905689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060009269989093415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423667558437216,0.05047549560826321,0.0,0.0,0.13754032254137924,0.0,0.155016335493124,0.0,0.10117471640302617,0.049772485714588116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316968720112022,0.0,0.0,0.060901071933036226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932523294454532,0.0,0.0,0.058939085770884726,0.0,0.0,0.1270517151654745,0.0,0.0,0.24774669696651686,0.0,0.10549016376767796,0.0,0.0,0.03261230778045668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060680278717893686,0.0838287248949587,0.05798211227021075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04983156499999284,0.0,0.0,0.05044966743188999,0.05355764500507358,0.0,0.039610634260832896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980185534875821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800132353301934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026313655889934,0.0,0.0,0.06589125107143302,0.06426061106296523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133796311758002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703442091675957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247137048868433,0.059410777069462274,0.0,0.09457432182458618,0.05402189404164638,0.18571707679463825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027950777686985,0.045683665490654515,0.05868984927507225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592826925558903,0.0,0.0,0.04769611539819218,0.0,0.0,0.13572340201804992,0.2066987161898909,0.15769431726820726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920452640238846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040288700682991715,0.06454605900743267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585043550865835,0.1750045436455019,0.04710219025990394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716080617191776,0.0,0.043201015791577764,0.0,0.0,0.042154203388051606,0.06488015967038854,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RodriguezMommy,2018/03/02,Cycle of cycles At this point in my life (21) I have no idea how to be or maintain some sort of happiness. No matter what I do or what’s going on it creeps back into my day and my mind is like shut down from all will to be content. I’m tired I’m blah I’m exhausted all in a moment after just waking up.  I take medicine I try to sleep it off but it’s coming back and it scares me that I have to control over my life. Depression is ruining me I would much rather die than to constantly feels this agonizing yearn for a sense of normalcy. ,0.3755747126436759,2.3261818448275875,2.7265517241379307,92.73195402298849,84.0,6.280459770114943,19.149425287356323,7.492282038375204,0.4044563218390804,418,11,97,7,12,143,79,116,0.242,0.718,0.04,-0.9785,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,2,0,9,6,2,2,2,21,16,6,1,3,5,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,0,1,12,2,21,12,4,19,0,3,0,0,0,11,0,4,7,69,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34135045807076625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120077934481505,0.0,0.23986228207591245,0.24894947842224285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314725496897013,0.0,0.19117571553703785,0.0,0.2303617177833857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223075631765908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261462320093771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362828867013443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505683037438468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135569287150505,0.10843951799720072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411854525266026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316775452401344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982602124200625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22222288140273774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221224960312662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688794904888424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25511289416760624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506977621800681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576755767590344,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,123user_name123,2018/03/02,"Worrying about potential stress I have exams coming up soon and last year these made me super stressed to the point where I was beginning to get physically ill. So this year I am worried about getting that stressed again, which then is making me start to stress. Please does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to avoid this?",6.755322580645161,7.801305661290325,5.6808064516129075,81.94120967741938,64.96774193548387,9.425806451612903,30.01612903225807,9.516144504307137,2.5227290322580647,269,9,50,5,4,80,49,62,0.27,0.647,0.084,-0.8957,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,5,1,0,7,1,0,2,0,5,14,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,6,1,8,12,0,13,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,8,34,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505414998290392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830070603854904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457411249168832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805821302031288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678827505004252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791141047813174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009048363262876,0.11293480268280146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571843825267464,0.15993805295895147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975266624184755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7752205542155275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436387712682172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790401255004976
mentalhealth,_t_h_r_o_w_1_a_w_a_y,2018/03/02,"Still have bad days Hi,

Last year I had a really low year, I never got help or anything but looking back I think I was probably depressed.

The last few months have generally been a lot better, but I still have random low patches that sometimes last a day, sometimes a week but not often longer. It's days like this where I'd really like to say to friends etc that I'm having a bad day and I'm not ok, but that feels wrong because I am ok and I'll he better in a day or two if that makes sense?

Is this normal to have bad days still? What do I do on them when things are a struggle again but I have no one to tell?

Thanks in advance",1.241151960784315,2.816545125000001,2.799117647058825,95.18019607843142,79.36764705882355,5.7098039215686285,20.15686274509804,6.42735559955562,-0.05565490196078393,491,12,116,4,12,161,81,136,0.239,0.621,0.141,-0.9263,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,8,16,0,1,8,2,14,0,0,1,1,21,22,11,0,2,10,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,8,0,2,4,3,9,8,7,18,3,27,0,3,1,0,7,6,0,6,22,74,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409133314558447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726378788120203,0.3168441588189169,0.07710775279593259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374205906263608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4894574680263121,0.0,0.10894653166205276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107092561416534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639576612137702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772664960966876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116642524768583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478426554551212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093211957113065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359424781241038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622060067055517,0.0,0.0,0.10753814330828,0.0,0.0,0.08443373921986888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096392674561784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755767387793868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393434470297805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857135899337762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637871539889676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206677500865432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059073745304443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502057097048193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030476800324832,0.0,0.0,0.1322358800515251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055872830452684,0.11645593819902884,0.0,0.0,0.08403501426537817,0.08105033923734775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356334836035132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146346780644257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829807536229674,0.0,0.16291214163883064
mentalhealth,Guts1019,2018/03/02,"a post reply on reddit has put me into a full on panic attack So I posted about a situation going on in my life about a mistake a made and the stress its currently causing me. Most people were generally supportive of me, but one comment just upset me. That comment I was ripped and told to ""neck myself"". I don't know why some random guy on the internet has caused me so much grief, but I'm in a full panic attack right now. There is so much anger, anxiety, grief in my head right now. I'm just trying to hold myself together at work and trying to breatthe, but it's not working so far and I feel like I'm about to explode the moment i get a rude customer. please help",4.086884057971016,4.553373920289856,5.6102898550724625,82.14992753623191,70.66666666666667,8.162318840579712,26.20289855072464,8.167268648758528,1.5446028985507256,523,15,107,7,9,178,86,138,0.261,0.667,0.07200000000000001,-0.9846,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,4,4,10,0,6,3,2,3,0,22,16,11,2,1,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,11,0,1,4,1,14,2,17,12,6,22,0,2,0,0,5,14,0,3,5,74,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170328663140952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480843326007558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143148288890535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735365408999545,0.10929229049047844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992818440359735,0.0,0.08694472278161335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147889169665926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700642426992414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254241047622664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407638271835023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805760825800023,0.07474059019168751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475780923172438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492269420990904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036663827401108,0.0,0.0,0.3589891340604268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606031894109083,0.0,0.0,0.16793124516437571,0.0,0.0,0.2930340812847012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379186442756346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26129617248380976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196119725544698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524344132340894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360520911029606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461834238144418,0.0,0.2077331196952684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804488417783842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22274934739152769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SerahWint,2018/03/02,"Depression and relationship's I've been suffering from depression for about three month and been medicating for the past month. Thing is its still quite bad and I feel emotionally drained/numb most of the time. I can barely smile any more and I don't find my usual interests engaging at all. Its like nothing triggers in my brain when it should.

And what's especially soul crushing is that it effects my romantic feelings towards my girlfriend, and I don't know how to deal with it or how to talk to her about it(I am terrified of hurting her).

Ill be honest. I need some help to set my mind straight, because I have lost my ""footing "".

Any of you reading this that can offer some encouragement or have experienced this yourself? I'd really like to know how you dealt with it.

Thank you for your time",4.734912280701753,6.620625473684214,5.031578947368423,81.5493859649123,70.57894736842105,8.750877192982456,30.429824561403517,9.2995712137729,2.7043798245614044,640,27,122,14,12,202,98,152,0.16399999999999998,0.68,0.156,-0.6558,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,0,3,7,13,0,0,2,0,13,4,2,5,1,27,20,12,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,3,3,18,7,19,15,5,13,1,5,0,0,13,4,0,5,10,83,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401532369542639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474322134686454,0.10763808977265654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711538024716369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18204040981125968,0.30416647172936895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986223865645889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785626018072749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138576435745286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835407018343268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902650230662035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408129874855534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253062447072046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19275177029206675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788008918614115,0.0,0.0,0.17828976595464516,0.0,0.28187993598013383,0.0,0.0,0.13092764913983831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694278588004084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685602045783846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878085647697756,0.17662214159426826,0.0,0.11311805522146315,0.0,0.0,0.18957477945331885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101251044132965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192378049506565,0.0,0.16256594539333058,0.0,0.0,0.11730815750112727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592385632247587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447170917150025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ravenclawworld,2018/03/02,"Am i just moody or do i have a serious problem? I currently feel really bad, it's the second or third week I've been feeling this way. I'm never really happy and sometimes feel strong urges to harm myself and usually act on them. I feel so weak and powerless that i called in sick the second day in a row even though I'm physically healthy. In the past I had a few phases like that including acute substance abuse problems. My psychologist tells me I'm alright and my parents say that I'm just whiny. I don't really knoww who to believe and what to do. Got any advice?",2.6821551724137933,4.509023594827585,4.497793103448277,83.47651724137933,75.98275862068967,8.088275862068969,25.393103448275863,8.841846274778883,1.9563303448275864,451,16,91,10,10,153,78,116,0.268,0.64,0.092,-0.9744,3,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,11,0,0,6,1,7,2,0,0,1,16,16,9,0,2,4,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,7,0,3,3,5,12,4,7,13,1,12,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,7,56,19,0,0.0,0.22114240618322545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238618052756586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692419772086758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558397933756209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028367035989512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058420799717346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036982308228215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327648266661435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37749089314428597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927611289334222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986858167540616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118474258748764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395122001949126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072458740280488,0.0,0.17817264514199524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571858574090293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358706430664434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842665680142428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845955102051497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313492512288227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337660526421307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055617986169335,0.0,0.0,0.1481491765646777,0.14971441402364838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kylo-raven,2018/03/02,"Share your story, Help spread hope Hi everyone, I am currently working on a youtube channel. I plan on posting videos of people sharing their stories. Mainly about the struggles they have gone through in life. How the found hope, or how they're still hanging on. Each journey is different and there is no level to what you have gone through. No one's story is less than another. I am looking to reach out to those who have no hope to show them that even though so many people have gone through awful things they are still here! If you're not comfortable appearing in a video audio can be submitted. Or the story can be typed out to share on the additional blog I will create. I don't want anyone to feel pressured it's only if you're comfortable. I'm reaching out to people who have gone through so many different things. Depression, anxiety, trauma, homelessness, addiction, and so much more. I'd love to hear from you. So, the stories will be posted on youtube. People will be speaking on the stuggles they went through. It can be as personal as they choose. The length of the vido is up to the person telling their story, it can be a few sentences, or and hour long etc. Whatever they are comfortable with. They will send it to a email account i created just for this. No personal information will be shared I won't use names or locations. No identifying factors. They don't have to show their face in the video it can just be audio of them speaking. The goal is to show others that people have gone through awful things but they are still here. It can be a inspirational video speaking about what helped them through, it can be just sharing their story no matter how dark it is. Anyone is welcome to submit a video. The email is. shareyourstoryspreadhope@gmail.com",3.9724559009843112,6.475281287009068,4.04609687164994,85.07173959653058,74.49848942598187,7.171269856739111,27.293733554234482,8.155646560271837,1.9097207094825064,1410,55,259,24,31,434,152,331,0.08900000000000001,0.8009999999999999,0.11,0.8469,3,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,3,15,3,20,18,0,2,18,2,45,4,1,4,0,36,63,20,0,6,11,0,1,0,0,6,2,6,0,3,20,9,0,0,5,10,1,10,10,4,0,1,7,8,25,14,44,40,7,32,0,1,1,1,43,14,0,10,6,195,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276280775720442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276242845537215,0.08956138555246107,0.0,0.0,0.16372190130063385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083577273254632,0.0,0.0,0.2446350863554124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056859706672652,0.0773263557325482,0.0,0.0,0.11186934400535332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919619553068579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836573578243735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195104811341232,0.0,0.1569446369961115,0.0,0.0,0.3488430683786623,0.11529443081912633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269291712550311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360691694913307,0.09831277953808748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056639691320894,0.0,0.0,0.2373895754687689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860629529553179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933245733295223,0.08904014799588003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058222880317508,0.306673831850162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424929988055414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280486643536947,0.0,0.0,0.1223912954780942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232794592760468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23333654052407404,0.0,0.11502473387430436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011144550834288,0.0,0.0,0.0690533524989083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852888724298657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523135770147755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sassychris,2018/03/02,"Why do I only feel weak, powerless and scared in the evening and at night? I used to live abroad for a while with some relatives of mine but I had to come back to my home country.I really want to go back there though.If I do go back,this time I will be on my own(I’m 22 years old) because my relatives don’t live there anymore.

So,in the mornings I usually feel very happy and ready to do anything.I feel positive to go back to that country.I make plans on how,when,where etc.

But in the evening,usually when the sun starts to go down,I feel powerless to do anything.I hate the way the sky changes colors and how there is this melancholy everywhere.I’m scared to leave my family and embark on such a long journey all by myself.I’m even scared to go somewhere else in my own country.I feel fragile,scared,weak and fragile to do anything really.

Those feelings last until night.Then,in the morning I feel happy and fearless again until the afternoon and then the cycle starts again.That happens during all 4 seasons.

I don’t know why I’m so sensitive to the times of the day so much.I’m very “weather sensitive” as well but mostly the former.

I’ve tried a lot of therapies but they don’t seem to help this particular problem.

Thanks.",3.1002641218430687,4.965031619433198,3.95017929438982,87.69099865047234,74.91093117408906,7.295855022170813,27.146520146520142,8.11559375814309,1.719120840562946,978,38,198,16,21,313,127,247,0.125,0.738,0.136,0.7051,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,1,15,11,1,3,15,0,12,1,0,3,2,33,36,21,0,2,4,0,8,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,10,0,0,9,0,0,7,3,6,1,0,1,9,15,5,30,33,7,39,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,4,23,112,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050727943029165,0.0,0.0,0.08718687978072362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258725169426228,0.0,0.06458543828791294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207983968596937,0.09126555675160228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683282461869364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850667282867149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181609790209454,0.13995643826685808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998791507641004,0.0,0.3749964694996746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010658778667997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369022208418244,0.22556905133513244,0.0,0.10460255910527824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101528382843163,0.0,0.10627533954982704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058226719601015525,0.08636245717784614,0.0,0.11218453905026074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18710955909572924,0.09376140216774306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007392728218663,0.0,0.0,0.07072168304832546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788459864845572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198851645448661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117550022429798,0.0,0.0,0.08057887804359498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137874499845696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574709826577455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31821985867940145,0.0,0.0,0.09645185792597312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998228898375868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975434704953706,0.1211617485919948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409421156042337,0.0,0.1235592580899076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193231750264538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915057929260088,0.11668769482967475,0.17483780155744216,0.06249137939178146,0.08409726914513703,0.0,0.0,0.09526074409189013,0.0,0.1912047236928364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682275885928908
mentalhealth,wally2200,2018/03/02,"Car accident is running on a loop - how do I make it stop? I was in a bad car accident yesterday - airbags deployed, car is totaled, the works. Thankfully no injuries but still sore, just need to rest. That’s nearly impossible because the sound of the crash has been running on a loop in my head nonstop ever since and it is torture. It’s worst when I close my eyes and I was too scared to sleep last night. Advise on how to make it stop?

As background, I do have a history of depression and anxiety but I don’t think this is the same thing. This is something I have never experienced.",2.9257758620689636,4.8131538189655165,4.192620689655172,85.66444827586207,75.4655172413793,7.743448275862068,28.84137931034483,8.548686976883017,2.180382068965518,457,20,93,9,10,150,73,116,0.316,0.67,0.014,-0.9903,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,1,8,0,14,4,3,4,3,19,19,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,4,0,2,1,0,0,5,3,5,0,0,3,3,9,1,12,16,4,21,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,9,69,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819192190046476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985561994382268,0.14496295970347492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482002271492206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151071077589435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440552554291917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19384179672135424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174717014133813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632846854135192,0.18340891329773484,0.0,0.0,0.2231627115205216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23808304045743764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671372064197806,0.0,0.237975490531406,0.0,0.0,0.1830729459495014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189910383136371,0.3976291688123799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21893774444515646,0.0,0.0,0.1579862458042682,0.152375041870451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312396332542535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kitkat7171,2018/03/02,"Alone in a foreign country Hi there! First timer here. 
I'm feeling pretty down and I don't feel like I can talk to anybody. 

I'm diagnosed with depression and currently take Lexapro at a low dose. I've been taking it since early November of 2017 and seeking help with a therapist monthly since September 2017. 

I actually improved greatly after starting the medication and had a good few months. But I'm in the middle of changing jobs right now and I think the stress is really weighing on me. 

Recently I can't sleep well. I'm tossing and turning and talking in my sleep. I can't eat well. Nothing sounds good and I have no motivation to cook so I'll settle for snacks almost every meal. I don't make dinner for my fiancé and I anymore. My work responsibilities are pretty much finished, so work performance is ok, but I've been late to work twice this month which literally NEVER happens. I have zero motivation even though I have so much to do, so I just lay around sleeping when I get done with work, which means the housework piles up. 

I'm living in a country different from that which I grew up in and there's a definite language barrier that always adds a level of stress to things. I mention this because my fiancé isn't a native English speaker, so sometimes he doesn't fully get what I'm saying or I misunderstand him and we argue. I think there are also some really deep cultural expectations that I be the primary housekeeper as a woman, but I just flat out don't have the energy these days to even pull what I'd consider my weight when it comes to chores. Usually it's not a problem because I just do it and he supports me in other ways. But recently I can't do anything. Sometimes he will be supportive and say it's a good thing for me to rest, other times he is quite critical. I never know which mood he will be in. It's hard for me to talk to him about my depressed feelings because he is always under a lot of pressure at work and has little energy give me beyond short ""cheer up"" kind of talks. 

My parents are across the ocean so I really hate to worry them. My closest friends are the same, or are under the impression that the depression is taken care of since I was getting so much better. 

My therapist... I'd like to go more frequently but English language counseling is so expensive and I'm already having some small financial troubles. I had to cancel my appointment this month due to financial stress. 

So I don't know how to get myself out of this and am looking for advice, somebody to talk to, something like that. Thanks in advance!",3.8581992113334316,5.719789932135733,5.144472031546666,79.94357236746022,72.83233532934132,8.161257971861156,29.18558005939341,8.841846274778883,2.5045295847329734,2040,85,375,41,41,678,246,501,0.14,0.748,0.112,-0.9275,4,1,1,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,1,12,29,32,2,4,22,1,42,13,3,4,2,58,77,38,0,2,11,1,5,3,1,2,3,4,1,1,26,25,7,1,10,1,1,5,13,12,2,3,7,10,46,19,58,65,10,60,0,4,1,0,26,31,0,6,26,260,72,8,0.0,0.0,0.07082116686634761,0.0,0.0,0.07091788384850829,0.0,0.0,0.07267177412882737,0.07516415254763018,0.08008654850450794,0.058036919551567076,0.1207737604721092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197330900700459,0.0,0.0,0.059721722273073735,0.06460570999596632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272020806397525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418527224286606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399341524801037,0.0,0.07677303138924803,0.06251555563319648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04680383737146462,0.0,0.18752208209598914,0.0736604705390477,0.0,0.07582375365399849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426778232030222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742607033434489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586808884001233,0.0,0.061146217238377175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008587069113217,0.0518464494880213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061730894616914826,0.0,0.0,0.05607002668035487,0.0,0.1516664188023907,0.0696190155907609,0.041245134105224464,0.18261336714638304,0.0,0.0800124266620244,0.0,0.0,0.06417641550066379,0.0,0.0650115090577253,0.07165120485616211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864441838739578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201789850029296,0.0,0.0,0.07557402532862284,0.0797688823279306,0.0,0.08186595315968828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636708820049352,0.07273760974850335,0.06408363936785255,0.0,0.06094337560316915,0.0,0.0,0.06169930708291189,0.0,0.0,0.04844330619835131,0.0,0.0,0.07905370521314342,0.0,0.07311006260914517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317095731406349,0.0,0.16004939211718214,0.0,0.11194615591668028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963613196566995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058416915081118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766647119760906,0.0,0.06944293990584137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719074119916601,0.0,0.0,0.13947712985704264,0.0,0.1433149489062418,0.0,0.0,0.061977284707357215,0.0,0.1154265567338299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801003924453965,0.0,0.21787742663409254,0.0,0.0,0.0558705468095753,0.14355389113164022,0.0,0.051367824098622526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493977440102977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647108623051228,0.0,0.0,0.10913232570522476,0.2916587383443148,0.0,0.06681583363376943,0.0,0.16852661557596,0.0964290807218583,0.09300420513014873,0.07130299431154374,0.0,0.04231813154955903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893901621983684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992934396585395,0.0,0.0,0.05760538471432061,0.0,0.08837484644942137,0.13050439966404292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641714876730184,0.07370180769221188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kid0mega,2018/03/02,"Medication advice? So I've (21, US) been dealing with major depression and severe anxiety for years now, and I have never successfully been able to make any significant change for the better. I've had a little success with talk therapy, and I do plan on finding a new therapist (just moved from the east coast to SoCal), but even when I tried that it was only superficially helpful. I understood better why I was feeling the way I was and how to deal with it, but the overwhelming depression and anxiety was still always there. 

I was previously prescribed lexapro, which frankly, didn't seem to do much for me at any dosage. It fucked with my sleep cycle and I had an apparently rare ""electric shock"" side effect if I missed a dose which was no good. I tried hydroxyzine 25 mg for panic attacks, which works in that it knocks me out, but other than that doesn't do anything. I was on Buproprion which seemed to help me feel a little bit motivated when I was at 150 mg, but it was just enough to get me out of bed, not enough to make me want to do...anything. Eventually I was bumped up to Forfivo 300mg and was suddenly actually productive, but then I started having intense anxiety attacks so I stopped taking it. 

Now I'm not taking anything and while I am trying so hard to do basic daily tasks like showering and brushing my teeth and eating food, I just run out of motivation to do anything but sit in bed if I take on too much. Or the opposite happens and I get manic and take on too much and crash HARD and get suicidal. My anxiety has always been about the same, in that I am unable to function like a regular person in public. I stutter and get nervous when I have to talk to anyone including people I know, I have issues with eye contact, I get anxious and fuck up basic tasks like taking tickets in parking garages or ordering at a coffee shop. It takes me five times as long as most people to do something and then I usually fuck up and do it wrong. 

I know I need to be on something. But every time I talk to a new psychiatrist they just ask me what I've been on and if it worked, and if I mention any minuscule improvement on any med, they put me back on it and at a higher dose. None of what I've tried so far has helped me in any meaningful way, and I don't want to go back on lexapro just because *maybe* I had two more productive days a month.

I'd like to be able to go into a psych appointment and be able to advocate for myself and ask for a medication/s that could actually help. Any ideas/suggestions are very welcome. Thank you!",5.957280223524599,5.802101405138345,6.862653673163417,76.93804347826088,66.56916996047431,10.299468447594386,32.468038707918765,10.004066432519934,3.030948562082594,2005,76,397,42,29,671,236,506,0.154,0.728,0.118,-0.9721,2,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,1,1,2,10,23,25,5,3,18,0,41,11,3,6,1,76,76,50,1,8,20,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,3,1,22,33,2,1,12,2,1,5,8,14,0,2,20,6,49,11,66,52,11,64,0,4,1,3,20,31,3,9,28,273,71,7,0.20555170584693888,0.0,0.13372587581104795,0.0,0.0,0.06695424932919515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140236571123263,0.0,0.0,0.2795644172885114,0.0,0.20966198980419756,0.0774049732133724,0.0,0.04790884401446443,0.0,0.2255353863621769,0.0,0.12810873168415934,0.15589649320575302,0.0,0.10537104923113508,0.0,0.04176747067411248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119585322628088,0.07480307511993123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248214986750426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470543707474952,0.0,0.0,0.04418794846764254,0.14127652198871893,0.11802758869873554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011023704034647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159323971624413,0.0,0.04525498770253161,0.0,0.05772872584947486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928874574261698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262351175365694,0.0,0.08285131287492413,0.0,0.0,0.1900292398394342,0.17898713745205394,0.0,0.07787984758249032,0.057469006176594416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605895648785049,0.0,0.122755969312802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837026341136032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151419229814852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753105612613092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389624087880686,0.1373445397528857,0.0,0.06063559711319295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147157319199063,0.0,0.06883477218344275,0.0,0.07610720229363314,0.06902390616818634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054689803509787666,0.07282297774599661,0.15110415487990256,0.0508046617830992,0.05284471580329046,0.13234874558715048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211044493706876,0.0,0.08039021274074569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500244764055124,0.05982660701554991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887874604609442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475103534725665,0.0,0.0774049732133724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856671761020734,0.0,0.0,0.10549583033914676,0.0,0.0,0.048496851789095734,0.0,0.05471795260377608,0.05728347669471834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494673460156127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30909860314294674,0.16521467499953751,0.0,0.06308146466707522,0.0783554298815902,0.07955379112821337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079905901788254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607482066897807,0.0,0.06693138292714394,0.0,0.0824177977399544,0.0,0.07546205462137957,0.05653389481327883,0.08082648117972271,0.10877158430462547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06182614766807984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997627266437151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491284076541818,0.0,0.04412285309600962
mentalhealth,DihydrogenMonoxidde,2018/03/02,"Potential Navy Employment About a year ago, I went through a breakup of a 2 year relationship, and since I'm a stupid teenager, I let it get to me hard. It got the point where I wasn't feeling that great about life and bleh, bleh bleh, don't want to go into detail (I am very much better nowadays though, no worries). I was wondering if that would affect my potential of joining the Navy. I know the Marines have people go under a level or so of psychiatric evaluation to make sure you're not a liability but I was wondering if the Navy was the same way. 
This happened about a year ago and I will be 18 next year and I plan to do something in technician works if that means anything. ",3.9162043795620463,5.129758321167884,4.912124087591241,84.24628832116791,71.62773722627736,8.39970802919708,29.028467153284673,8.841846274778883,2.1428662773722627,538,21,112,10,10,176,87,137,0.077,0.882,0.041,-0.3416,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,6,4,1,0,12,0,12,1,0,2,1,22,26,11,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,6,2,11,3,14,16,2,17,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,6,7,71,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930732981022172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603540253118582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620257108808668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358530845214285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636724439186517,0.0,0.18789807818340987,0.0,0.1322128842558095,0.1822539982805033,0.0,0.0,0.14618239701331548,0.0,0.14808459078573594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084962392180804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903987715627827,0.1167627906283218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034518777777097,0.0,0.0,0.1800702022804906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152129718105835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580823051271624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460459854824485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627064525127302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774802366786194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674549477050266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272631135807809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558019831860158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241546900637435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639741881090187,0.0975036607763724,0.13121476406432345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324330279756695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585415942288207,0.12034708074406532,0.16787953687675986,0.0,0.11743092670132613,0.0,0.0,0.4258148703708092
mentalhealth,Underthedarkmoon,2018/03/02,"Is this normal? Some days I can't feel anything. It's hard to describe but it's like I'm numb. I'm not sad, I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy either. I have hard time understanding other people as well.  It feel like I'm in another country with a language barrier. I just can't communicate with people even though we speak the same language. I can't tell if they are sad, angry or happy. I think about suicide a lot, almost everyday, but I don't think it's because I'm unhappy with my life. I think it's due to thinking about the attention I would gain after I died. Although it does seem nice knowing I wouldn't have any responsibilities to worry about. I do crave attention but as soon as I'm in the spotlight I cower and push it away. Some times I will feel full of energy and I will feel what I guess is happiness, it's like feeling weightless and that I'm flying. Then after an hour or less I feel nothing again. I have never taken any drugs or gotten drunk. I'm 17 years old, is this just a phase that I will grow out of soon?",1.882746935832735,3.540748949771693,3.8303773131458776,88.13031002162943,77.76712328767123,6.619658735880799,22.485219899062727,7.475848149327749,0.8026109589041099,816,24,177,11,19,277,113,219,0.18,0.65,0.17,-0.5042,1,0,1,0,0,1,22.0,1,0,1,1,12,12,0,0,7,0,19,4,0,0,1,48,44,17,2,4,12,0,11,3,0,5,3,1,0,0,14,8,1,1,17,1,0,2,9,4,1,0,2,12,23,8,20,37,7,22,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,10,18,113,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225681771649055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605256422113354,0.12802339099806587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004707508682899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470881112972732,0.0,0.0,0.07442573350788577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873879897044629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267115111006811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684293408657994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158716605504731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064016327277485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938643056431852,0.08722206111368172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344973501469742,0.0,0.0,0.3899054310227631,0.21873967734032387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023535362060965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709819474701298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623670772183772,0.17894295094693655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379767151270247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416435020359844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962356801850485,0.1171499112862757,0.0,0.12811429900674715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928549267109247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111473493814221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354808435166435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671319227186074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129247438849381,0.11995409886007452,0.0,0.14238485731159864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271013665656301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977475637682203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398965865934865,0.0,0.0867301684804924,0.0,0.0,0.0786228050952234
mentalhealth,aku_478,2018/03/02,Financial struggle makes me feel like life is pointless For the past couple of months I've been struggling to get overtime at work and searching for another job or career but to no avail. Things have gotten so bad that I'm dreading payday next week and have no idea how I'm going to be able to pay the crazy amount of bills that have piled up. I once tried using step change to help my situation and it made everything 100 times worse so I'm extremely skeptical to turn to outside advice although at this point I feel so trapped and hopeless I have no idea what to do. I'm about to go to sleep for my Nightshift and I'm absolutely dreading it.,6.660797342192694,6.158668922480622,6.507220376522702,81.23232558139537,65.2015503875969,9.541971207087485,33.157253599114064,8.841846274778883,2.5302881506090813,517,19,104,7,7,163,86,129,0.316,0.6509999999999999,0.033,-0.9933,1,1,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,1,4,2,0,8,2,1,4,0,15,23,12,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,2,3,3,7,0,0,3,2,6,1,19,19,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,6,57,13,4,0.16822120067317484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438381037881405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639459638251026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404576759578547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779557249770129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613355892649466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511863681994133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011538708378382,0.12017725937310135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788863427772177,0.0,0.19120797000331213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275512486050528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798025192101878,0.0,0.0,0.16693358471104253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881960892740202,0.08218438146785499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917496749542873,0.11228895770837516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342725574534584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789051553438341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791500885708628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605861706681597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590234085334134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908767774866336,0.1683426880124728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517226473642021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175869089838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809113491158893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421115292746432,0.18297636039861526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528910609945145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493690023361735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246703759490166,0.0,0.17143177502520165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,relationshipsailed,2018/03/02,"How do I overcome consequences of childhood bullying and parental neglect, build up myself and my social life in a meaningful way? Thoughts and revelations about my childhood and family experiences are quite recent, I normally don't dwell on the past. I am in my late 20s, never had a relationship, only have 1 true friend that lives over 100 miles away. My life consists of going to work, gym, and wasting time on the computer.

As a kid, from my first days at school I was bullied and excluded because of my 'funny-sounding' last name. I would come home to lots of tension and arguments between my parents centered around money (and infidelity - unsubstantiated, just retarded insecurity). It would sometimes get physical. They would go to work, come home in the evening, cooked us food, and were then either arguing, complaining that something hadn't been cleaned properly, or emotionally unavailable and glued to the TV. Dad would often just leave to the garage (that was a 30 min walk away, so not attached to the house). I cannot recall a single time I could come to them to talk about my problems at school, or to even talk about girls or other relationships, or just guidance in general.

I also had a high-school-popular older sister who was an emotionally unstable narcissist growing up. To give you a taste of the kinds of arguments we had, she once said I was such a narcissist (I now realise the projection here) that I renamed all the icons on the computer as MY (i.e. My Computer, My Documents etc...). My parents, being non-computer-literate, and yielding to my sister's emotional appeals, would scold me and force me on the defensive. I have also now realised that I was raised on the idea that I will be loved and appreciated by my parents only if I do exactly as they tell me to do.

Anyway, so this was my environment growing up, and I just got on with it, because I did not know anything different. After finishing school, I left home for uni in another country. My parents largely supported me through my first couple of years - I had trouble finding a good part-time job, and whatever money I made, I would always just offset the living costs. I never felt comfortable spending it on nights out, or even good clothes - so I didn't. I felt very self-conscious about money at this stage, so it was hard socialising and making friends. Whenever people would see me, I would look like I was about to kill someone. Constant tension, not helped by lack of sleep due to living in really noisy dorms. Self-confidence in social situations was non-existent. I just wanted to be left alone.

Scraped through uni, building (what I think is) a decent career path. Problem is, right now, I feel like I am sucked into a routine with work, gym, and no other outside interests (or desire to pursue them). I tried putting myself out there for online dating, which was not a total trainwreck, but it didn't go anywhere. I had done some thinking on why, and concluded it's because I don't like myself very much.  I am unable to talk about things I am passionate about (I am very big on philosophy and psychology, but these are heavy topics to bring up on a date), I do not feel like there's anything I'm good at (that I am devoted to), which makes it hard to connect in the dating environment, and I am unable to meet someone through mutual friends, because I don't have any. I am not a total hermit, and I can freely talk to people - I just rarely feel like I want to, and often when I do, it feels like putting on a mask. I do not have any friends because I failed to build up my social circle outside of work when coming to another country (UK). I do not go to pubs or clubs. I struggle to stick doing new things, because I feel like I will never get it to a standard I would be content with, due to starting it this late in life.

My biggest hurdle, however, is the feeling that I will never be able to shake the stigma of my upbringing. If I am asked why I've never been in a relationship, and I explain all of that, it instantly paints me as 'damaged goods'. When dating, people also seem to project their own life experiences and values onto your situation, so when you say 'I've never been in a relationship', they may take that at face value, assuming someone has had the same type of upbringing and social environment they had.  And as a guy, you are expected to be this strong assertive character, so it seems highly unattractive when you reveal these weaknesses to someone. I am not looking for someone to fix me, or to be my entertainment, I feel like my life would be more meaningful if I devoted myself to someone (does that come from trying to compensate the fear of abandonment?). What also keeps me going is the hope that I will one day be able to beat this, and not pretend like it's fixed with false confidence - really overcome it. I could then be there for someone else. However, I have grown cold and detached, and I fear I will struggle to be emotionally available and to fulfill someone's needs in a relationship.

Whenever I tried to speak to my parents about this, they would just dismiss it and say 'oh yeah, well, some people have it worse' or, 'well, some people don't even have parents', and with my sister it quickly turns into a contest of who has it worse, i.e. I say something I am struggling with or have struggled with in the past (involving her), instead of acknowledging it, she sees it as an opportunity for some one-upsmanship. I did not find this helpful.

Has anyone else gone through this? Are you able to offer some insight into what it's like on the other side?



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mentalhealth,akirayokoshima,2018/03/02,"Why? Anybody have an idea why suicide is so I'll sought after? I understand life is pain but why does it matter so much for people to try and talk others out of it? No one on Reddit knows me or my story, so why would it matter to anyone if I killed myself?

yes I'm depressed and suicide looks good, it always has...

The cause of my depression is due to the fact i can't land anything worth while...

I don't care about being rich, but money is my biggest problem with depression. If I had about 300,000 dollars I wouldn't be depressed. 

I just want a nice house, not one that is falling apart around me, and I can't afford to fix ALL the stuff wrong. 

I want a halfway decent job, that will make me the money to make that dream a reality.

I had a shot at happiness when I was in the marines, but I really fucked that up on my own and I can't rejoin...So that just adds to my depression.

So why does it matter if I put myself down? ",1.2566666666666677,3.0275161282051286,3.097564102564103,92.14993589743591,80.02564102564101,5.76923076923077,20.576923076923077,6.691623216298621,0.2283846153846154,715,19,159,7,18,239,111,195,0.28,0.595,0.125,-0.9928,2,0,0,0,0,2,27.0,0,0,0,0,10,15,2,0,10,1,19,3,0,3,2,34,29,17,3,8,10,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,3,1,5,2,7,10,0,2,3,1,24,5,21,21,3,17,0,5,1,1,1,11,1,4,4,112,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594604361940283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062649723712566,0.0,0.09488920354618686,0.10264915566269807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175648654009358,0.11845375867602105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4965759062799622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181477360120129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660099957230904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671543455147057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274821440847075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330507138268375,0.0,0.1301694435060478,0.0,0.0,0.11442605420044945,0.0,0.12757194963947135,0.0,0.06337062482271633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814459177566786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968302344992504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393885398305446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476513384643854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627226659735596,0.0,0.1226965457869555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994050722553953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033481635779803,0.0,0.1159170533546048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386968125560328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200083015428551,0.2522579208323201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268073436407066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828701215393816,0.0,0.0,0.12004038328383865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360240722893667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5202406598077762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819119648197828,0.1260719199815104,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sacto_verita,2018/03/02,"Car stolen. Savings dwindling. Parents don’t talk to me. How can I keep my head up? I’m really struggling right now.  I’m three weeks away from graduating university - the first in my family to do so.  Last week, my car was stolen (did not have comprehensive coverage because it was getting old).  I quit my job 6 months ago to maintain straight A’s (I’ve been taking 20 units) so my savings are nearly depleted; I spent significant money on repairs to the stolen car.  
My parents are not coming to my graduation.  My dad hasn’t called me in 5 months.  There was never a falling out.  We just stopped talking.  I’m across the country for school.  I feel alone.  I need help but there is no one.  What can I do?  What does one do when the world is seemingly collapsing around them?  ",1.0128285714285743,3.61557980666667,2.5357142857142847,89.605,90.93333333333334,5.790476190476191,23.142857142857146,7.2636822038024595,1.1756857142857151,601,24,121,11,21,195,101,150,0.129,0.83,0.041,-0.8976,3,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,1,2,9,3,0,1,6,0,17,1,1,1,1,17,28,5,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,2,5,6,1,0,4,6,1,18,2,16,22,0,29,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,12,77,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827613505058654,0.0,0.0,0.17324287766147162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890714168527658,0.0,0.0,0.1571571259450586,0.0,0.0,0.10196718333366947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170802952975591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408962769370365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638045920983955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157688729025475,0.0,0.08457752080827388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228109360076266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739248014964983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166886648008606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211859294576386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659912013431714,0.14867863786295984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363486373653312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670291081054731,0.0,0.0,0.12402973363319245,0.12901013007401313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755233519210315,0.0,0.22669506040708676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714705184442466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791388156330726,0.0,0.0,0.10715843712459827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428489883597498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928773716166282,0.0,0.15227773536455713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984650436926285,0.0,0.17486854091297352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576738718022185,0.26889306890736103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683502928913043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dj00di,2018/03/02,"M20 - Constant Lack of Drive/Purpose I'm a student athlete in college and over the course of this school year, I've experienced my ""sophomore slump"" per se, in all aspects of my life: academically (poor grades), athletically (poor performance this season), and socially (first year of living off the college campus is making me feel socially disconnected despite living with teammates). It's been hard to put my feelings into words but I feel this year there was a lack of drive and/or purpose in my pursuits, despite having supportive family, teammates and friends. The inspirations that I had in my life in the last year (and prior) do not resonate with me this year. If someone were to ask me right now who/what motivates me, I wouldn't be able to respond without lying to the person asking making up some bull answer just to get them off of my chest. I'm really unsure of the steps to take to get back to the place I was last year, since I used to be a person that was full of energy, excitement and personality. Now I feel like every time I interact with a person, I put on the mask of who I was last year and go through the motions. 
If anybody has experienced what I've been feeling I'd really appreciate your advice through comments or PM's. ",10.148008474576272,7.635888970338986,9.914,66.01828813559321,59.72033898305085,12.660338983050847,40.9728813559322,11.00357731598739,4.443377627118643,991,41,176,19,10,326,132,236,0.046,0.8370000000000001,0.117,0.963,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,3,5,5,0,0,13,0,15,3,1,4,1,34,32,10,0,5,7,0,6,1,1,1,2,0,0,4,9,10,0,0,8,0,2,6,3,0,0,1,8,8,21,5,35,21,5,38,0,0,0,0,15,14,0,4,19,115,30,8,0.10987149853903913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736515676741117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543003914385494,0.0,0.0,0.08448440041365939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873205735575365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257147623801573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035770705096466,0.0,0.2777716546524526,0.078492220509653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345664052942562,0.0,0.0,0.08488644722322537,0.0,0.11480664641555735,0.0,0.06244250460941336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842328172931612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26867980698864546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552109774087236,0.053677664362415736,0.0,0.1940370922982766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668015688195388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837422183321209,0.11479233101688707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209024054865175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077299076923822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938296594246706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111958222808642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088683897223103,0.0,0.0,0.2240003126329521,0.09309376416563866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468087450593718,0.0,0.0,0.0826096932246526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406695436129968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489369796829487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059122038180651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4952754994639308
mentalhealth,RAV3NH0LM,2018/03/02,"Should I stick with group therapy? For a little background: I went through some traumatic stuff in my childhood, and I now have serious issues with social anxiety/depression/general human interaction. 

I started seeing my current therapist about a year ago. I really like her a lot. She tries very hard to help me. She’s been suggesting for a while that I attend a group specifically catered towards women who have experienced trauma. My therapist runs the group along with another, older woman. 

I went last week for the first time and hated it. There were only 7 other women in the group, and all but one were much older than me. My therapist assured me that I would not be forced to speak, and while that was technically true, the other woman running the group put a great deal of emphasis on all of us sharing thoughts/feelings/facts about ourselves, as well as participating in q&a type exercises.There was also a bit of arts and crafts, which I’m sure is helpful for some people. I just thought it was stupid. 

Ultimately, I’m disappointed because I was truly hoping that this group would be the thing that finally works for me. As of right now, it just feels like another waste of time. I know I only went once, but it just felt deeply uncomfortable. I’m way too cynical for positive affirmations and making collages or whatever. 

On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I leave the group, I’ll end up disappointing my therapist, who I’m sure is already struggling to find ways to help me. 

TLDR - I went to group therapy once and thought it was dumb. Keep going and see if it helps with my (very serious, life ruining) issues, or bail and stick to one-on-one therapy?



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mentalhealth,Shodam,2018/03/02,"Depression? How can you tell? There's days I do feel down because I think real life is so hard. I feel like a pussy for asking myself certain questions. I read symptoms of depression and I feel I have some of those things but my issue is I feel like I can't have depression because there's people out there that have it way harder than I do. I have a wonderful supportive mother and I have lots of opportunities and I do want to say I take advantage of them. but in school sometimes I feel very anxious when it comes to grades or expectations from people. I feel everyone is better than I am and that I cant make it out there in the real world. I see the real world as a harsh and tough place to be and sometimes I feel overwhelmed and feel like crying. I try googling my way on why I feel this way and why it happens (I have lots of people around me but I feel alone at times, I don't know why). Sometimes I think i feel like this is because I tend to overthink a lot but inside I do feel sad and I do feel alone, I just don't know what to do or what it is. I don't want to say I have depression because to me I see depression as to someone that had a tough life or went through a lot and I just don't feel qualified (Not sure that's the proper word for it) for depression. I have the opportunities, I have supportive people, but I still feel down or sad. Why do I feel like this? It's all so confusing ",1.929729729729729,3.471610513513518,3.5384108108108085,90.7822648648649,77.31081081081079,6.898162162162162,22.98864864864865,7.699297019823105,0.8457966486486486,1096,33,249,16,25,364,115,296,0.183,0.662,0.155,-0.9167,0,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,4,12,25,0,2,10,0,31,3,0,2,3,66,65,25,0,3,12,1,17,5,0,0,3,2,0,0,18,14,0,0,22,1,0,2,7,12,0,0,2,21,45,13,31,62,6,21,0,9,2,0,8,12,0,12,9,172,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994089877348148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632211298781835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014157558022967,0.063158274516626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473265133585932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597501892939952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058195846996940075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421007111834238,0.043569779248559655,0.0,0.34912930990285834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455524300135643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5465554226625463,0.2413197812271604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974194453620853,0.0,0.06051933468147145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051374140736634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742570009024777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543743028067507,0.1650288670216698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297439988141248,0.0,0.0,0.04509596382837145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734681356853206,0.0,0.07058447328329616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568121724292642,0.0,0.06757699279802838,0.23068980893348298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745079631826224,0.0,0.06837302176434755,0.1076710907482606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724227612926809,0.0,0.20045187632490927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053952473435725096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533296480268822,0.06367328507605746,0.07021936792735267,0.05079574247428595,0.0,0.0590492907053256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04488300528488731,0.08657778751233056,0.0,0.0,0.039394027357037134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045867929726356164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055743011443030725,0.07969575562027126,0.16087487927185498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262760143031268,0.2438449123891452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326453962302618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toobadimnotamermaid,2018/03/02,"“Coming out” as bipolar [x-post from r/BipolarReddit] [Original posting](https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/806mbu/coming_out_as_bipolar/?st=JE9JOC6T&sh=9e0bd5a9) in r/BipolarReddit

World Bipolar Day is March 30th, and I plan on pushing facts and resources on social media that day as a way to spread positive awareness. I’ve also thought about outing myself as Bipolar II....but I’m not sure if that’s a smart decision. ( I also have GAD, so I may mention it, but it wouldn’t be a focal point). A part of me is like “Own it” but the part of me is like “don’t say anything. Ever.” Currently only my family, significant other, mentors (which includes my boss), and best friend know. I think I kind of want to show that anyone can have a mental illness and you wouldn’t even know it. However, I don’t want to make any regretful decisions.

Have any of you mentioned you have a mental illness in public or on social media? What has it been like?",4.7840116279069775,7.461813040697678,4.8618023255813965,79.35281976744189,72.66279069767441,8.020930232558143,27.61046511627907,8.841846274778883,2.5137372093023256,761,29,126,16,16,237,107,172,0.073,0.758,0.16899999999999998,0.9364,2,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,3,0,2,7,9,0,0,7,0,16,5,0,3,3,29,25,14,0,6,5,0,0,3,1,3,5,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,6,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,2,1,14,8,18,19,4,17,0,1,0,0,10,8,0,3,9,84,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26026878218982114,0.0,0.1763168964402919,0.0,0.22132271707841572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378396040750001,0.0,0.13391217216896478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707741359249682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017669836969082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989359615577005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748102641408136,0.147197774491599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534064995427136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572408799609264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694573013992113,0.17886329960781885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385036346253859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862292836106484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279852883259708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376280257871555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524394841025174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383158473799735,0.0,0.15584948169008214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940870046860986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317636199634964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15337023751511247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427022744655014,0.0,0.1291887170831735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196366190038874,0.1291667738658222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misswatermellon,2018/03/02,"Do mental health clinics realize what they are doing? I've dealt with at least three of those institutions in the last year. I emailed them asking about an assessment for anxiety. They replied something like - yes, that's something we can help you with, just call this number and we can discus the details.

Do they not realize that some people with anxiety might not be able to make that call? Even sending an email is enough to trigger a panic attack in some cases. What if I don't have anyone who can make that call for me? I think this can stop people from getting help and unfortunately those are the people that might need help the most.

What is your opinion?",4.790400000000002,6.762781839999999,4.5778,84.50590000000003,70.6,7.240000000000001,26.1,7.908726449838941,1.498839999999999,530,17,98,7,10,162,81,125,0.106,0.779,0.115,0.3038,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,2,2,4,0,3,3,1,1,7,1,16,2,0,3,0,25,22,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,13,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,12,1,13,19,5,7,0,0,0,0,19,3,0,7,4,74,25,0,0.15678352873993198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23987794070131724,0.0,0.0,0.10962668869357717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657143515118207,0.1783638979467714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4802805368785635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199929606735328,0.0,0.10355404207204927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191292276510241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665355952221786,0.0,0.0,0.3152660833782885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779950154187358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659651270039765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930844575591487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800092109034344,0.3326450953949359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625299996378036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839516900779199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32608187382294745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24139924034836602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107805032827968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004605545751243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096345215860987
mentalhealth,SophieWhitelaw,2018/03/02,Is it normal for a 38 year old woman to have obscene sexual urges for boys under 12? She has had these urges for as long as she can remember and she may or acted upon them a few times.,5.408249999999999,3.7402993250000014,6.960000000000001,80.78500000000003,68.25,10.0,25.0,8.841846274778883,1.469,143,2,32,2,2,50,33,40,0.093,0.907,0.0,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,8,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,4,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40051589630922296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.443428807567425,0.0,0.0,0.4749028287812854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126808674989364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26390095421486365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914443808061957
mentalhealth,ProxyBit,2018/03/02,"Question about a misdiagnosis So i went to a mental hospital and got diagnosed as BiPolar but once I left my therapist and psychiatrist all were confused because i was diagnosed unspecified and my symptoms didn't align , so we concluded im not bipolar, but a friend was talking to me who when to the same place and said she had the same thing happen then once she was 18 they diagnosed her with BorderLine Persoanlity disorder, I did some research and the symptoms align fairly well, my question is i guess since i am a minor was the bi polar diagnosis given to me by the mental hospital psychiatrist, given because they don't diagnose  minors with PD's or is that unlikely ?",11.643279999999995,8.698893968000004,11.8128,54.89840000000002,57.32,15.44,47.4,13.662883650711644,6.5398,546,28,88,17,5,187,78,125,0.083,0.895,0.022,-0.807,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,2,1,5,3,0,1,9,0,12,9,0,1,1,21,19,13,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,13,1,17,2,9,6,4,5,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,6,2,68,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731364670804134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765503453610066,0.0,0.0,0.1627562437761569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971689771457092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357870524961668,0.0,0.15644048730575913,0.0,0.12557934483097288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339562200388834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429473613620634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28622620298715523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30247292376936924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483706628394621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181683405573457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508442885676722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747248637811533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29520640103763224,0.0,0.11414259581116172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488504231271212,0.09434541244811898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768442175771286,0.1316450814751651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hayleybc,2018/03/02,"Help with my younger sister Okay so there’s no way of explaining my sister’s life and everything that led up to where she is now in a Reddit post, but I’m just looking for some help. I’ll try to explain everything as accurately and to the point as possible. Oh and I’m from the US.

My parents do not know what to do.

She’s 21 years old. Lies all the time. She lied about being enrolled in college this past semester until my parents finally found out the truth about two weeks ago. She literally lies about everything, big or small. 

I’ve heard the phrase “if you keep running into assholes constantly, you’re probably the asshole.” She has never been able to maintain friends for a long time. All the people she calls her friends seem like they just use her.

She is overweight and definitely binges on unhealthy food often. My mom goes grocery shopping for the family and always makes sure the fridge/pantry is stocked with good, healthy food. She still will buy snacks and some unhealthy stuff once in a while. But my sister rarely eats at home, she always eats out.. which leads to the next issue.

I feel like she has no grasp of reality. She doesn’t pay for anything important. My parents ask for $100 a month for “rent” and she can’t even pay them that on time. She barely works and spends all of her money on clothes, makeup, food, and weed. She even canceled the automatic $25 a month deposit from her bank account into her Roth account. 

She’s constantly smoking weed and just lays in bed when she’s home. Has no physical activity. Gets extremely angry and upset at the smallest inconveniences/issues.

So she has been diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance (something like that?) but refused to go back to the doctor and start treatment. My mom believes it’s because the doctor may have wanted her to lost weight first. But we don’t know anything for sure because of doctor-patient confidentiality. 

I just don’t see how going to a psychologist/psychiatrist will be helpful if she’s just going to lie the entire time. Any suggestions or even thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


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mentalhealth,beekay93,2018/03/02,"Not getting adequate treatment for physical systems bc of mental health history Backstory: I would like to start this out by saying I have always been an anxious person and I try to only be on medication when I'm going through extreme periods of stress/change. This mindset has been quite the problem while trying to find a mental healthcare provider that will not over-prescribe medication where I live. 

I saw one for not being able to take exams without panic attacks while I was still in college and ended up on five different medications to combat the side effects (which resulted in the diagnoses of being bipolar and having ADHD). Three years ago, I found a doctor who agreed that being on that much medication was not benefiting me at all because the side effects were outweighing the positives. This Dr. Prescribed every new-to-the market medication he knew of. He was especially fond of one, which made me gain 50lbs in six months, but it 'leveled' me out (so to speak). I told him that I was uncomfortable with the quick weight gain, but he told me 'I looked great' and that I shouldn't worry about it. Fast forward six months & I found out I had extremely high cholesterol and blood pressure. I was very active person and was eating a well balanced diet, so my primary care doctor was confident in saying it was the medication. A few months went by and I felt like I was in a good enough of a place to be able to manage my anxiety with regular therapy apts and by being off of medication. I told my psychiatrist about the side effects I was experiencing, where I was in my life, and that I wanted to wean myself off of the medication and he stated that he was not comfortable and that ""the next time I see him, I will want to kill myself."" I had no suicidal ideation for the many months I was seeing him, so there was no logical reason why being off of the medication/lowering the dosage would be such a terrible idea. I walked out of the appointment and talked to my primary care Dr. We were able to get me off of the meds and I have been off of them for the last two years and have had no issues.  

 
  
Fast forward: Six months ago, I was feeling overwhelmed because there were a ton of life changes going on and I felt like I needed a little 'help' getting through them without having panic attacks. I talked to my primary care doctor, who was very understanding and she prescribed lexapro. I had been on it without any side effects for the past six months, until my insurance decided not to cover without the prescription going mail order. The only mail order company they want people to go through recently was bought out and is extremely unorganized at the moment. It took four days just to get someone on the phone there (with 40+ minute wait times on the phone)  to confirm that they received the script that my dr. faxed to them and they said they would have it shipped out ASAP. It took them ten days to ship it out. I missed 3 days of medication. After two weeks of being on this new medication, I noticed that I started to feel differently. I was having terrible night sweats, having crazy nightmares, and felt 'off' during the day.  

   
 
Three days ago, I had a 'psychotic break' at night and thought I was in my childhood home, couldn't stop hyperventilating, and couldn't move or speak coherently. The last two days I have been in and out of it with feeling extremely disoriented/not 'present' (and thus not being able to work or drive) and have periods where I cannot speak coherently or speak at all without slurring sentences. My primary care Dr. suggested seeing a psychiatrist the day after the psychotic break and to discontinue the medication, but the only one with availability before late april/early may was the one I saw previously. I called the psychiatrist's office at 9am on 02/20 and explained to the receptionist what was going on and they were able to squeeze me in for a 2 o'clock appointment. I showed up 15 minutes early and got turned away because they did not book enough time. I called a family member to help and they were able to get me a 45min appointment for the next day.  


 
The doctor took me 15 minutes late, wasn't listening to me about my withdrawal symptoms, and wanted to push a high dose of bipolar/depression medication on me, even though I have not been depressed (or had suicidal idealization). He told me to just trust him and pick up samples of this new medication at his other clinic that night (Which he called in for while I was in the room) and ushered me out within 15 minutes of seeing him. I had my significant other drive me to the clinic immediately after the appointment, but it was closed.   
 

I went into the emergency room this morning because I felt so disoriented and could not talk coherently or without slurring. The most they did was give me a room and take my blood pressure and pulse.   
 

I told them the withdrawal symptoms, and was literally begging for treatment that could keep me orientated/to help with the headaches. They suggested that I check into their inpatient psychiatric unit (w/ a mandatory 24+hr hold), but because it is Friday, the doctor would not be able to evaluate me until Tuesday+. I did not receive any treatment whatsoever and was literally crying in the hospital bed asking for them to treat me like I wasn't crazy.  I discharged from the hospital a few hours ago and have been trying to stay semi 'with-it' at home. I did not receive any referrals for the side effects or advice on how to handle this.   
 

I feel extremely disappointed with my experiences and have absolutely no idea what to do during this process. I felt like I was in-and-out of reality and was unable to get help without volunteering to go back onto medication (which I would like to avoid because of how long it take to fill via mail order& my history with wacky side effects). I felt so helpless and I didnt know what to even do since emergency care will not even help me.
",9.276178230878472,7.983642049283155,9.063831744099547,67.58351491174682,60.4068100358423,12.401136133089876,38.888144992222905,11.396491240562424,4.424651606140528,4781,199,839,111,53,1555,398,1116,0.084,0.805,0.111,0.977,7,1,0,0,0,1,130.0,1,0,16,11,29,36,3,6,64,0,98,39,3,13,2,157,171,66,3,17,34,0,12,6,0,10,33,8,6,2,45,62,3,5,29,2,2,22,32,16,1,16,80,29,119,20,156,66,9,166,0,5,7,0,72,74,0,8,73,605,164,12,0.23894281564560016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041023261539962684,0.0333560220040936,0.12103336519160357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028402794846715814,0.2958793610545758,0.0,0.06963827500169575,0.0,0.02611294285051963,0.03856248133015343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031911325388499515,0.07766627077192316,0.032070662973650035,0.026247468024524427,0.0,0.12484913368330737,0.0,0.02904610530635125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456599864964528,0.0,0.17401294661040453,0.0,0.07221994750466856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450754152547043,0.0,0.037495351870920963,0.17611239868054024,0.0,0.05880031342549081,0.03464598973907546,0.0,0.07132696741821762,0.0,0.1746914976337819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034928307506395674,0.0,0.0,0.0302332018109853,0.07054051485790458,0.0,0.06763691837595166,0.0,0.02875994681436476,0.0,0.0,0.03339027474756905,0.03217914588923702,0.0,0.06903809543926852,0.0,0.19664792079175314,0.0,0.031198486383712625,0.0,0.0,0.07485384692911508,0.0,0.0,0.10700379357754268,0.03274510306750505,0.11639717877492167,0.028630556742632325,0.0273006282162004,0.03763361397021649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03628357708021169,0.0,0.0,0.11439880902061343,0.07213034388585345,0.06847975037111112,0.0,0.03361579172085847,0.0,0.0,0.07706781561268616,0.0,0.03562774574879545,0.0,0.03034047904357387,0.037764974741206735,0.0,0.018759531797763684,0.055648653149697726,0.07701082961848972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822067916258764,0.10005890593425132,0.03421192482955462,0.030141554835768712,0.030208124679206694,0.028664540836631437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03229906707992146,0.0,0.034607215929537034,0.0,0.0,0.03791594319719253,0.4814194974075843,0.06879947377735587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634758935436155,0.03627977122342089,0.025092923230322004,0.025310438595398426,0.0,0.09890248298462057,0.07260525576749642,0.09609927687992384,0.0,0.0,0.0388625684735478,0.0,0.0,0.09252219186864698,0.07788290506033822,0.0,0.08009940315841378,0.0,0.0,0.03258542206812489,0.0236646946660575,0.05961018576219864,0.03566348370910881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03266228637724527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03630644235594791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03509614433620372,0.03370388631056639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03246990500473962,0.05429054784678793,0.0,0.0,0.1088037074508081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02823656660985239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028922210328253206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04832141564167959,0.036383035589280285,0.02726000588994201,0.028538127575822626,0.039101169716933004,0.0,0.0,0.07467561666514146,0.0,0.0,0.07095802143596064,0.07699511167079097,0.08230850752411821,0.0,0.0,0.03903599053765918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03353715759898046,0.027099129350157063,0.059712633141502415,0.0,0.0,0.16308578572769966,0.113774682869415,0.06952563737357656,0.03712873846652102,0.10003389048715956,0.035535413979722624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056329384863898976,0.0805340934072331,0.0,0.02738078770034893,0.04156685398386007,0.030691183877706793,0.06328639541974393,0.0308012465632344,0.0,0.0,0.230332347588098,0.0,0.02485045936931377,0.0346654325497701,0.0,0.12124151473595565,0.0,0.0,0.0439632397793796
mentalhealth,bootyjesus,2018/03/02,"memory loss after emotional abuse f/27 I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 3 years, and now I feel like I got hit in the head. I can hardly remember anything. I pushed the memories of the emotional abusive relationship out of my head as a defense mechanism. 
What I am wondering is, has anyone else experienced this? Do your memories eventually come back?
I used to be able to have flowing conversations with people by telling them stories about my life and they would relate back to my stories, now I struggle having conversations with people because of the memory loss and I hate it. I just want to be myself again. ",5.289739130434783,7.804508278260872,6.543695652173913,68.63032608695656,70.56521739130434,10.165217391304347,32.369565217391305,10.355215969177356,4.143539130434784,512,24,81,16,10,172,79,115,0.191,0.7390000000000001,0.069,-0.9587,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,1,2,2,8,6,2,1,6,0,11,3,2,1,0,16,19,4,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,2,3,17,1,17,13,0,13,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,2,8,63,20,0,0.13682758285781588,0.4863549344237629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701305952870838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956730273339485,0.14019602817349192,0.11259744222635887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042393071002835,0.0,0.08340882452241583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786484708983727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430188814575412,0.46173784267763207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918413710177376,0.09774965253306744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943351744896708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257063856438714,0.13508891057011854,0.2808491495414585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664536824483566,0.06684704555615778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971803550848165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938032353917591,0.1549989784347155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430418980562833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959333833757067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817509994940108,0.0,0.0,0.08070445344997051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838367693538934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719838908705504,0.0,0.0,0.08811247729191349
mentalhealth,BipolarExpress150,2018/03/02,"End The Stigma on Mental Health! Hey guys and gals, I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar. So I decided to make a YouTube channel dedicated to helping End the Stigma on Mental health. I'm new here and just wanted to say I have some videos about my life with Bipolar along with some informative mental health ones too. I'm hoping these videos reach people that really need it. There's a lot more to come in the future. Thanks! check it out : https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCOxg3VI4OIV6cwGLAZcnDBg",6.268852941176469,9.361096752941176,5.07375,77.610625,69.70588235294117,7.544117647058822,23.56617647058824,8.472884824447931,1.6729117647058822,404,11,65,7,8,119,60,85,0.0,0.851,0.149,0.8906,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,2,7,0,1,0,18,10,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,4,8,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,2,13,9,4,10,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,5,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786508498176554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742256247382603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040697358064495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996486496244295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.547381870064659,0.0,0.0,0.11505634055216442,0.0,0.0,0.17049157224205025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124459447798175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459344509174658,0.0,0.0,0.11458065940972345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5189618505978602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727957867253994,0.0,0.1657849101337339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631747860191433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900356270624665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996621800997468,0.0,0.1694880328946962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650648584763814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803632901150402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012462253371537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cottonandsage90,2018/03/03,"Suicide Hotline Problems And Issues with Pathologizing Hi!
I’m a woman and I’ve suffered with depression and PTSD I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder in 2008 and attempted suicide as a side effect of psychiatric medication. I have also suffered domestic and sexual violence as well as mild-psychiatric abuse.
Today I was harassed on the street and it triggered me. I called the suicide hotline and was patronized and pathologized by the advocate, which has happened to me before. When I disagree with their analysis of my situation (pathologizing) they always find something else to pick me apart for. I also believe my confidentiality was breeched because I called other advocates a few days ago and the guy mentioned “you call us and say these things”. Guess there’s some gossip in the advocate office about me...
There are a lot of mind games and you can tell advocates let their egos get in the way. 

I’m writing this post for anyone who has noticed problems with pathologizing and other issues in mental health care and/or on hotlines. Its also a place for those who question the DSM and the mental health system. Or anyone who has had problems with not being taken seriously, etc.

I’d like to share some more info so people have a better idea of what I mean and don’t think I’m just exaggerating or fabricating up a problem:

Here are some articles on the danger of pathologizing victims/clients/patients

[Blaming and Pathologizing Victims](https://www.willbrattcounselling.com/blog-creating-difference/2014/12/10/operations-of-language-part-4-blaming-and-pathologizing-victims)

[A Word of Caution Against Pathologizing](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/word-of-caution-against-pathologizing)

Extra Info:

[The DSM and the Medical Model](https://www.madinamerica.com/2017/01/dsm-medical-model-video/)",10.531165154264972,12.633190751724143,9.039183303085304,57.44151542649732,57.0,11.346642468239565,40.43557168784029,11.20814326018867,5.312413793103449,1498,73,192,38,19,459,169,290,0.199,0.7509999999999999,0.05,-0.9927,0,0,1,0,1,3,79.0,1,2,3,3,11,16,2,0,19,0,16,11,0,3,0,48,26,26,3,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,11,1,0,2,13,22,0,0,8,1,0,0,2,11,1,0,6,1,20,5,32,18,8,19,0,3,0,0,23,12,0,8,5,137,33,0,0.0,0.12090586823825135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045615919930404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448144892874821,0.08490907373491523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427035642251457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062205288569116515,0.0,0.0868322258594303,0.1149690381867515,0.0,0.09024993495708357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31259607152830593,0.0,0.10404101564167834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581016377921625,0.0,0.08789064905805252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695166571487302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524496031221103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138064243652089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326668713655513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331396110737425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241335601734537,0.10103994980949887,0.0902374816265958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21693674430961185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519565017741674,0.0,0.21301557872168886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434726150825288,0.0,0.0498537149111382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675445716051823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111562123878914,0.0,0.20559789386628394,0.2056734072619035,0.0,0.10303570384381068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617816872800504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050408681280548,0.0,0.07074470365182636,0.0,0.10661462663244953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773027955858686,0.0,0.0,0.3905706459274183,0.11928438429842605,0.0,0.11431302585569293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114976281576883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147021247994442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855872600339865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348598690290819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919125961586083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779373179402806,0.06538589905773982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967261119904132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227467885629606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809980551920623,0.0,0.0,0.09175012561080312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BobbyJeffles,2018/03/03,"I don't understand what a narcissist is I keep hearing the complete opposites of eachother:

1.) people who have high ego, high self-esteem, high views of themselves all in a way which makes them feel superior to most people and takes advantage or manipulates them.

2.) People with little ego, low self-esteem, see themselves as lower or worthless, all in a way which makes them feel vulnerable and a disposable unit.

I can see how the second one works, because you still think mostly of yourself, and one can feel so shitty they lack emotion and empathy mostly diminishes.



edit: yes I have a feeling i'm a narcissist.",5.440525793650797,7.598493508928577,6.120476190476192,73.34674603174605,69.26785714285714,8.906349206349207,31.19444444444445,9.444778638647367,3.2315146825396823,491,21,79,11,9,160,73,112,0.141,0.774,0.085,-0.7432,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,4,2,3,4,0,0,8,1,6,0,0,4,2,24,20,9,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,8,9,2,8,20,6,10,0,2,3,0,7,7,0,5,1,53,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575966943708523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470426547006778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670337814803616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177145889341903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705011544642546,0.0,0.0,0.497917760004009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962744432710006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744390926066554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20971553868077986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128944169867508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267160843694001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503583345347255,0.0,0.3277550547473305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545105004070334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811097481170905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006559445931804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635346307475349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493790212586368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143622724976924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CramerRaoLB,2018/03/03,"Advice for my mother Hey reddit, 
I was hoping to get some insight about a problem that has arisen recently. 

tl;dr: my mother has been becoming increasingly prone to strange thinking and I'm not sure if I should do something about it, and if so, what to do about it. 

So basically my mother has been in bad health for most of my life. She has never been very logical, but she has been relatively normal until recently. She is on a lot of different medications, but she says that there hasn't been anything new added as of recently. 

She has begun to express increasingly 'magical thinking'. It started with her saying things like she saw a car accident where someone died, followed by that she can see ghosts, followed by her predicting bad events that happen to others. Then she began going even further and claiming to be a psychic, that people are breaking into the house, and that our cat can see ghosts. She has shown me photos with lens flares and claims they are spirits. 

Lately she has been making large jumps in deduction - for example today she said that someone broke into the house and her reasoning was that the cat scratched her face. When I examined her face I didn't see any scratches and I assured her that nobody had broken in as the house had people in it awake during the hours she says it happened. 

I've asked her to talk to her counselor and psychiatrist about it a few times. She says that her counselor believes everything and she refuses to talk to her psychiatrist about it. When she talks to people about it, she gets very upset that people don't believe her. I don't think shes a danger to herself or others, but as these lines of thought continue on they seem less benign I'm worried about her. 

I'm not really sure what is going on or what to do, but anything that could point me in the right direction would be much appreciated. ",6.420520590520593,7.154008452991454,6.533697228697232,76.63600815850819,65.6096866096866,9.344781144781145,31.624061124061125,9.339509955726095,2.7987823361823363,1481,55,264,26,22,473,173,351,0.101,0.847,0.052000000000000005,-0.9538,3,0,1,1,0,0,31.0,1,0,2,0,14,12,1,1,12,0,37,5,2,2,4,47,63,26,3,8,10,3,2,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,27,13,0,1,9,0,0,8,7,6,0,0,15,11,45,6,45,43,8,41,1,1,4,0,48,14,0,9,19,199,72,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421663231084987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556620920195871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586843612083114,0.0,0.09013597635566872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100672177463085,0.0,0.10648393426239616,0.0,0.21725570647914064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698035751150685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006462091196316,0.10073423417015144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368188097573445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665251419973596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007467964267858,0.0,0.1095909077858184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052076046630515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248573526750727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576287648735543,0.09495037172039114,0.3337534736759309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087614856655914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810149600398123,0.047104003932065215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196946403085884,0.0,0.0,0.06435845121608186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712901052974572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708768785829884,0.0,0.07436198909393142,0.0931192062095864,0.0,0.0,0.094467242020317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673709515873137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114431631730599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225712303640207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061766580098869574,0.0991317407707315,0.28559760485644353,0.0,0.0,0.08233876602087528,0.09171372715320604,0.3066955996016357,0.0,0.0,0.2304932876369071,0.08777353600009069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633859850422019,0.07422577324795071,0.0,0.0,0.06824376494435024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174194155961146,0.0,0.0,0.2324866672801379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405452862815285,0.18533850396949755,0.0,0.07654356102818764,0.05622096464135885,0.0,0.0913911263714446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591066507081391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979151624266656,0.0,0.06849118407036753,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JusKeepinItReal,2018/03/03,Is blind rage a thing and is it a sign of a mental problem? Is it possible for someone to be so infuriated they blackout from anger? If someone is able to get this made is this the sign of a mental disorder or is it normal if pushed far enough,4.709411764705884,4.479386215686278,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,69.19607843137254,9.15294117647059,30.72549019607843,8.841846274778883,2.257007843137255,191,7,41,3,3,66,34,51,0.337,0.6629999999999999,0.0,-0.9677,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,5,0,7,1,0,1,0,9,9,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,7,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,31,7,0,0.25758719263487545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952172390673685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661564273887108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345786766324141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24373522986887866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5191746100433344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523807578427006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29039085650893404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246476155441341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365055848349905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112948502247308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mekchrious,2018/03/03,"What are your experiences with mild OCD? I was a 2 pack a day smoker for a couple of years, finally quit that (almost a year ago, woot!). I switched to a vape, but honestly it's an attachment that I don't want.

I have mild OCD and have always needed to fidget (spinners, pencils, pens, sunflower seeds, etc) and I'm sure that's playing a part into it (gonna chat with my therapist more about that).

But I'm curious if any of you have found a way to calm without replacement.  I'm speaking in a bit of a Buddhist term here to release those feelings instead of replacing it with say a rubber ball or something.  What therapies worked for you?  Did you find mindfulness helped?",3.9029545454545485,5.343506416666672,5.023151515151518,82.5597272727273,71.95454545454545,8.613333333333333,29.86666666666667,9.120678840339163,2.5546157575757578,525,22,103,11,10,173,91,132,0.011,0.8370000000000001,0.152,0.9542,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,0,2,3,4,0,0,11,0,7,0,0,0,1,19,15,6,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,10,6,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,9,4,17,11,5,9,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,6,65,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851647704207502,0.0,0.20165891991983387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675692274161854,0.0,0.0,0.13694933900702985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986127832847271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282970240755148,0.0,0.12987726535616653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22459854721079928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196994083605518,0.0,0.0,0.10182677776497737,0.0,0.0,0.2206084439198662,0.1840630926670092,0.0,0.0,0.22080927892368266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498474462369686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20334238179647568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932511620370087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808133853117914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21419872687352565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601501754983036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503672863382284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980385681424672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23030236324005374,0.2338245878967199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878263992806835,0.15985077841175646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19412885116508544,0.0,0.14661135637976533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25937187394060185
mentalhealth,sadspookie,2018/03/03,"Feeling extremely emotional (for no reason) Hi! I don't know if this is the right subreddit, but I feel like it could be.

A little background info: I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since my early teens (I'm 25 now), but for the past few years I feel like I've had it under control and can actually function pretty well in my day-to-day life. Anyway, lately (I suppose for the past month or so) I've been struggling with feeling extremely emotional and crying A LOT.

I'll cry when I see happy or sad things on TV, when something pisses me off, sometimes I'll just cry out of the blue for no reason at all. This happens almost daily. It's incredibly annoying and embarrassing.

I don't know what it could be. I've been on the same birth control for almost two years, definitely not pregnant and nothing has happened to trigger this. I also don't feel depressed, just extremely emotional. I honestly don't know what to do about it, but it can't keep going on like this. Any ideas or suggestions?",4.279761904761905,5.874256704081635,5.520285714285716,78.75804761904764,71.24489795918367,8.491972789115646,29.90340136054422,9.029198982220553,2.637246666666667,798,33,146,16,15,266,112,196,0.203,0.618,0.179,-0.8625,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,10,14,2,3,7,0,17,2,1,5,1,41,31,16,0,3,10,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,13,8,0,3,12,1,0,1,8,8,1,1,4,7,11,6,19,23,4,22,0,3,2,0,2,10,1,7,14,96,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.1046965901538142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148647724507277,0.0,0.0,0.08579733784318072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295880731365785,0.0,0.08207422566586674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066288198423244,0.17131980448400666,0.0,0.35354904138816434,0.1383824185826696,0.0,0.1848121914459516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36205014631481736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123753616453344,0.15329164183983846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060973648025357485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974699707769446,0.11420895684836815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111391133468405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536157368732684,0.0,0.0,0.1768863113172655,0.0,0.12102435648492535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577994801288397,0.15724495842038075,0.10752971256430637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121153113199322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856354225976035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029447252975297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20483507351478594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091494019267731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206177133493091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162247196658024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854938113421298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874887649517396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259473826561743,0.1061095401969173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243192363012933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127668457015163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048037640322151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646385571901916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817856085047148
mentalhealth,ahsccenter,2018/03/03,"Nonprofit Mental Health Organization looking for ways to spread awareness Hi everyone,

We are a nonprofit organization that sees Mental Health as a foundation of the care that we provide. Our mental health staff are all trained and bi-lingual.

My question is, how can we spread awareness of our services? How do we reach those that need help?

Thanks for all the suggestions in advance!

Asian Health and Service Center (AHSC) is a non-profit, 501(c) (3) organization that has served the Portland metro region since 1983. The mission of AHSC is to be the bridge between Asian and American culture and build a harmonious community. Our vision is to reduce health inequity and improve healthcare quality for all Asians.

http://ahscpdx.org/
bridge.ahscpdx.org
https://www.facebook.com/ahscpdx/
https://www.youtube.com/user/ahscpdx

",10.06261818181818,13.81709884,7.0610181818181825,64.6785090909091,60.6,9.025454545454542,37.763636363636365,9.573946990214177,4.444999999999999,685,33,83,14,11,193,80,125,0.0,0.8590000000000001,0.141,0.9473,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,7,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,9,0,10,5,0,2,3,16,15,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,2,12,14,3,4,0,0,2,0,12,2,0,1,0,54,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518265925868066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422926260872718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7914370715305029,0.0,0.0,0.0998131559054357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250493037461991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502074362361007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104170041273002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681649152418254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866427530858367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318226253367615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709896100159985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820010262416672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Suckmytoee,2018/03/03,"living with derealisation. Sometimes my senses are over the top, I can feel and hear everything more than I normally can. I can feel my thumbs touching as I’m typing, I breath carefully because I can feel each breath entering my lungs. everything feels off like there’s something wrong. I notice it, I don’t feel myself. I feel like I’m a blurry person in the background of a photo. I feel like I’m sleeping, like nothing is real. I feel as though I’m watching over my body as a spirit Like im not fully there.. it’s strange",1.95844155844156,4.338987285714288,3.7536796536796544,85.15207792207794,80.90476190476191,6.103896103896104,23.831168831168828,7.348242739294969,1.1881428571428576,415,15,80,6,11,139,61,105,0.068,0.752,0.18,0.8375,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,5,0,7,5,5,0,0,14,21,5,0,1,1,0,9,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,11,15,6,10,21,2,6,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,5,46,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989575802616792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380485892523913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035451457682875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650713285877337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5965182205850508,0.3160557349262153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662083258039431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929186901486753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602296199765777,0.0,0.1302178640785081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448834855861986,0.14150052114249215,0.16789447945879665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876427758240822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785205260213848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757554037755394,0.0,0.0,0.11352887167782898,0.1458506513340933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448875830592887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123424516282325,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nospecialname_00,2018/03/03,"Do i have a serious problem? I have past memories of like 6+ years , which I do recall but CAN'T tell whether or not they really happened...They are really intense on my head but I doubt whether or not they are real , or if I have just dreamed them , is that an issue?

Have been diagnosed with OCD I don't know if that matters...

**TL;Dr : confusing past memories for dreams or the opposite?**",0.32877192982456194,2.737458368421052,2.406315789473684,89.09087719298245,96.89473684210527,6.7438596491228076,23.438596491228072,7.793537801064563,1.8577491228070169,300,13,60,8,12,100,52,76,0.121,0.7829999999999999,0.095,-0.2383,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,12,2,1,0,0,20,13,10,0,3,13,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,10,1,4,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,8,4,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883499535235702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915629346111793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965208645555896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561309162401618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879423031376106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5424007228341611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718400839399296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233617553300241,0.3639964431176544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483111288930748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18294755385256264
mentalhealth,TooEmbarrassedForNam,2018/03/03,"Feeling like people are against me/Leeching off of me. I've recently come into some success with a project I am doing. This is something many people try to do but never get very far and i've sort of broken through the hardest part due to a lot of hard work. Now I feel like people are taking advantage of me, trying to cut me off, copying/stealing my ideas, concepts and networking to get their own success. I feel betrayed and undercut massively. I'm not sure if it's just me being paranoid or if mental health issues are kicking in but I am putting my life into this project and I can't shake the feeling of people using me. I'm not sure how to handle it and it's causing me a lot of unwanted/unneeded stress, any advice is more than welcomed.",3.97698181818182,5.23527408,5.146848484848487,82.45009090909092,71.53333333333333,7.321212121212122,31.63636363636364,7.686295010490155,2.2228,592,27,111,7,11,196,93,150,0.165,0.7040000000000001,0.131,-0.7605,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,4,3,11,1,2,5,0,11,2,0,3,3,32,22,11,0,2,8,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,5,14,8,20,21,6,13,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,7,6,77,19,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500885816729692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444800565920798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778156291027093,0.0,0.13230613447980685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31064345216618605,0.21945268657646325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604912361323101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375884989424797,0.0,0.0,0.1632613931398204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338696947319476,0.0,0.16031041792050682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108486757532596,0.15007484279328215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26115729877278376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571844729797069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547848756938511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845982179309646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632545323860967,0.0,0.4259261440367868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544026466586511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165383008198946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182428278014499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593941819106318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28951778014286444,0.0,0.1154822668902453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085581288645801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265440079986499,0.0,0.12672970235623202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181699664919033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Freckled_Kat,2018/03/03,"Hallucinating just a smidge Okay, so... I don't really know if this is the place for it but I just need to get this out there. Please let me know if I'm in the wrong.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD and a myriad of other things. Lately it's been pretty under control other than sleeping issues and nightmares. But today I started having auditory hallucinations. Again. This has happened off and on, but I hadn't had any in a while so I thought they'd chilled out. So I'm just minding my own business when I swear I hear my bf's phone alarm. I thought it was weird bc, I could have sworn he took it with him. And I keep thinking I hear the tv going even though I'm home alone. Then it hit that I was just hallucinating. 

TL;DR auditory hallucinations come out of nowhere. ",1.4826299810246688,3.866591122580648,3.2678178368121458,87.87349146110058,82.93548387096773,5.969639468690702,21.37571157495256,7.285733465282438,0.6625028462998102,604,19,128,9,17,201,99,155,0.09,0.8490000000000001,0.06,-0.5267,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,12,4,0,1,6,1,14,2,1,1,0,29,33,16,0,4,9,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,12,10,0,2,5,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,9,2,17,1,15,20,1,19,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,2,7,87,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669642162236432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601796821447526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696201050254415,0.0,0.0,0.1913491984073583,0.1362150531442061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17316155531749794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268369077314352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913462260377153,0.0,0.09695935307871004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086637163016686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845708481137019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113178424574638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806839731755997,0.0,0.1516425011907714,0.0,0.0,0.1875212529700128,0.0,0.19245106191883865,0.0,0.0,0.17445625087850938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722634819486658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265022285682919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824701657012984,0.1872742171337795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356769264234914,0.0,0.0,0.1994293493884252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092946079062538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707292653641764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207558443368603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133430826156749,0.10931747172906656,0.16761958352189002,0.2708843027065145,0.0,0.0,0.1617145923716236,0.0,0.1895496053059091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653093973276894,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cabinet_minister,2018/03/03,"Is this normal or do I have some issues with my mental health? I have a strong feeling that I am retarded. Whenever I am stuck on a textbook problem, I start to get hard on myself. I have done pretty well in school but still lack confidence sometimes. Besides, I have been through depression once (3 months long). I have had past experiences where my hard work hadn't paid off. Due to this, I lack confidence and lose interest in doing hard work.

And yes, I daydream. I have a character in my head. I do not talk to that virtual person. In fact I play him by putting him in certain virtual scenarios. Its not schizophrenia because I can't see him and also it does not affect my life (probably) but I daydream probably a lot. In loo, while taking bath, while trying to sleep, etc. I do sometime incorporate real life incidents into daydreaming.

Is this any kind of a problem? Or, is it normal?",2.8810000000000002,5.347857099999999,4.27470588235294,82.22617647058824,78.0,7.764705882352942,27.64705882352941,8.671277953709913,2.4448823529411765,697,30,128,16,17,230,103,170,0.153,0.685,0.162,0.5632,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,4,10,0,0,5,1,20,5,2,1,2,25,27,10,0,6,7,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,8,5,0,0,1,2,1,1,5,4,1,0,6,5,24,6,18,21,5,20,0,2,1,0,5,11,0,4,8,96,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074835463124769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139993782946848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193197675013791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576273948440532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761862972530425,0.13754287240308258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989698672880952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147377800336235,0.0,0.0,0.0679591535422912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022101050224552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612011594675353,0.0,0.13793819851964698,0.14286611878085667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028379133593066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996201580292186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898683049277685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894410297600383,0.0,0.1503646985401463,0.0,0.1142662357260626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354485222199433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728070523099127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633765213109312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313682712670853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830468091438568,0.0,0.117357170446899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367380980796705,0.28982241951332033,0.2572146662888319,0.0,0.13511404278365916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298219597033835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360249297053293,0.10710330019350754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450196103339107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658597565998366,0.0,0.09513247676024154,0.0,0.10733592310454153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010557544642212,0.10802956377591992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912521014247456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084614236640172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956967292484228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JRainers,2018/03/03,"Back at university for my final semester after a year out due to suffering a nervous breakdown. Struggling. I'm in my final year of my undergraduate degree. I had to take a medical leave of absence midway through final year last year due to suffering a massive nervous breakdown. I'm back to finish my degree and have been here for five weeks. I feel like nothing's going in even though I'm doing all the work and reading I can. I have an essay due in just under three weeks and I can't seem to start it. I struggle to wake up and get out of bed in the mornings because I don't want to go to the library to do the work and start my cycle of stressing out again. 
I have good grades so far, I'm currently on a first and in the worst case scenario, if I just passed my final three modules at the minimum grade, I'd get a 2.1 when I graduate. I know this, but another part of me really wants to get a first, but the pressure I put on myself is what caused my anxiety to spike last year. I feel depressed, gradually more anxious and lonely. I don't want to go back on meds because I know the first few months exacerbate my symptoms and it's these last few months where I'm going to be most stressed. Just feel helpless and useless. ",4.578212151394421,4.989233003984066,5.7599975099601615,81.707406623506,69.55776892430279,8.506075697211157,30.826942231075698,8.472884824447931,2.2243245019920317,968,38,197,14,16,324,128,251,0.18600000000000005,0.799,0.015,-0.9882,1,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,5,13,16,0,7,16,0,13,3,1,1,1,30,37,15,0,4,6,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,12,0,0,6,1,0,6,3,14,0,6,2,3,25,2,37,34,7,55,0,6,0,0,0,17,0,3,33,134,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487477869256684,0.07651144252680331,0.11298883817394972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307168118961221,0.0,0.12193681591810668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027432794020634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614304459987236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605917255458799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171224577019793,0.0714509613055407,0.0,0.43824755724144576,0.0,0.2552189285583764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567616229492718,0.0,0.2273640343819579,0.08388810136275787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993160343440753,0.2445774927512077,0.0,0.10590177793675652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886243113556838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109446857016377,0.1007549081203449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966254110052372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596739255397176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830684015652434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054301639215917,0.0,0.0,0.1000423809644431,0.0,0.06407237208355633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105018682732872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158271003180214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229134411747726,0.20911544661773893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395420788057873,0.07519907012098535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826453957469897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697487299061093,0.0,0.1604525063656058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562468157525768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220329199323795
mentalhealth,dethecus75,2018/03/03,"Confrontation and the nervous system? (Story) Alright. I for one never get any sort of negative confrontation for my nervous system to ever take any sort of responsive fight and flight sort of reaction.

Today, while I was with my girlfriend walking in to a small restaurant, a random person was crossing paths with me in the middle of the parking lot intersection.

First thing I hear is, “look at this motherfucking mother fucker” or something along the lines of that. Knowing my friends and how they speak I thought it was someone I knew. 

First thing out of my mouth is “wassup dog!” Turn to look at him and have no fucking clue who the dude is. Very old, bummy clothing, all red and dude is looking straight in my face, dogging me.

I look at him back and he says “don’t fucking look at me bitch.” 


Dude is wearing raggedy clothing and beat up shoes so I assumed he was a crackhead on some different type shit looking to pick a fight with whoever.

I stare at him as I open the door for a couple and my girl to our restaurant as he walks in to juice it up never breaking eye contact with me.

I know how to fight and defend myself thru classes and personal development but I felt jitters and overall nervousness after the approach.

Took me out of my entire mood to eat and couldn’t help but think I bitched out by not confronting him or dwelling in to a fight.

The shakiness I relegated to adrenaline.

BUT WHY THE FUCK WAS I SO SHAKY? I thought I did the bigger thing and ignored this crackhead bitch. But some part of me wishes I would have swung aside from my jitters.

What triggers these jitters, how do I fix this, and (I think I did the smart thing), but should I have fucked this dude up? ",4.123753846153846,5.930556775384615,4.316384615384617,86.38011538461541,72.01538461538463,6.8461538461538485,29.73076923076923,7.468242284971852,1.7772153846153844,1332,56,255,15,26,414,170,325,0.189,0.759,0.053,-0.9938,1,0,1,0,4,0,32.0,1,0,1,3,7,27,16,6,17,1,20,12,6,5,4,63,44,29,0,4,8,1,1,0,2,2,0,3,1,3,14,23,1,1,9,0,0,5,7,23,0,3,12,13,42,3,49,29,5,41,0,0,9,5,25,23,9,12,10,184,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874416720689046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409508504846583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101050926528785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142633526723354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190789860587066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892708109896878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500773895685817,0.0,0.0,0.18605195977446434,0.0,0.0,0.08449527917280562,0.40442544582781786,0.05713880105187135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326252436384055,0.0,0.07330518559003747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020850319949444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5510353220995121,0.0,0.0,0.09297837874162944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686983626818289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476037604379173,0.0,0.07410868723408341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184318497569348,0.0,0.0,0.19098694154968002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697159349308622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122618021208091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926647757060422,0.08419467101602764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222901675978084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906295066495894,0.14015360330602686,0.0,0.1736474988986772,0.0,0.0,0.10366541811459573,0.0,0.12150875687419813,0.0,0.1189579282911005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023774038759264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868507876316936,0.0,0.12576457811554365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768989743009506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beemojii,2018/03/03,"Mental illness suddenly disappears I’ve been struggling with my mental health for almost 5 years. I’ve had periods of time where my struggles disappear completely for only a few weeks then comes back stronger than before. 

I haven’t had a really bad episode since mid December and I’m worried that I’ve been faking being mentally ill the whole time. I don’t feel like myself. I’m just empty. I’m not having bad episodes but Im also completely anhedonic.

Does anyone else deal with episodes where you feel completely recovered?",4.347938144329895,7.27489683505155,4.980628865979384,76.63073711340209,75.49484536082474,8.828453608247424,29.287628865979386,9.3871,3.3550874226804117,431,19,69,12,10,138,70,97,0.21600000000000005,0.746,0.038,-0.8932,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,2,3,0,8,3,0,0,0,10,14,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,4,2,6,1,6,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,9,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502841228675248,0.0,0.0,0.1200194663374884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493990167375628,0.15377539335328386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540277972723967,0.25062219944728803,0.0,0.0,0.12770760552869728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928121759152214,0.4720702157323117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472659204457498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313366152800542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537315100599825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177060342204976,0.10721766846217544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952874576670178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621128894061374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332183984686284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537380811508995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414312076118288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614552725558884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414829017738628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137938274882502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750265039640811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038566953541165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755972059675472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241421659996812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664703794695814
mentalhealth,Auzy2012,2018/03/03,"Shit like this makes me wanna fuckin justify my shit while at a puppy shelter an fuckin murder everyone/everything there then burn it down To start off here’s a piece of my mind: I hate people who imply things or beat around the bush or at least the one who aren’t good at hinting well enough that I get the point or when I do fuckin get the point an confront them to speak to me directly to confirm and improve myself they tell me nothings wrong (no eye contact and theyre “oh shit act normal” along with a very distinct dishonest voice etc.; they’re personal lying giveaways) also people who assume they know exacly what your intentions are when your gonna do something but have not said a word about what your going to do or anything. Fuck off you can’t read minds people. Anyways a lot of people don’t want they’re dog getting everything wet for example: Anything they’re going to touch such as furniture or YOURSELF orr ya know they do the shaking thing an wet dog essence goes everywhere, so to avoid that when a dog comes back in the house either when it snows (keep in mind it was snowing so obviously the giant dog is fuckin wet because he lays there while it’s snowing an the snow settles on top of him then you can clearly see that there’s a half to a hole inch of snow on this dog) or rains then I’d rather dry them off and not have to worry about that shit. Here’s the fuckin issue: I’ve been helping some friends to move an it’s been a few weeks now with c0n574n7 h34d g4m35. Again anyways the one person tells me to let they’re dog in which I don’t mind. I open the door, proceed to call him then when he’s inside he strolls over to the one who is confusing me in this. at this time I believe I will continue my routine so I call the dog so I can brush him off. “No I think he’s good, he wants to see me” the confusing one says immediately in the teacher/C.A.S voice I stand there trying to process what was said and what it meant because earlier (before this and remember before that happened/\/\/\) I let the dog in again when he barked which I don’t mind btw I’m honestly happy to help but when he gets in an I call him to me then brush him off and pet him when he rolls over an shows his stomach (with my socked foot btw) I’m thanked by the same person going “okay. he’s good, you can stop chirping at him”..... wtf?? That literally made no sense to me, The only thing I said was his name an the typical “who’s a good boy”. My questions are:
Wtf is this persons problem with me?
Do they think my clean socks that haven’t gone outside that day at all are gross?
Are they sick me calling him over?
Am I being rude? besides in this text.
Are they worried for my safety maybe?
Should I confront them? If I did it would be really hard to justify myself if they’re wrong about what they think I’m doing since they’re the type of person to bullshit themselves out of something so they think everyone else and you is a bullshitter to. (The things in this post literally provokes me to cut myself as deep as possible multiple times then squeeze the blood out to intensify and ilongate the feeling also while pointing my hand to the sky with a bent elbow to catch the trickles of blood while they grow turning into streams of dark red liquid running down me as far as my hips and taking my fingers then wiping it up with them to lick it off and taste the metallic sweet juice off my long ugly alien fingers)",4.201586956521741,5.166106089855077,4.535380434782611,88.14959239130438,70.71014492753623,7.4891304347826075,27.1286231884058,7.6454224807358475,1.3368623188405793,2702,88,567,30,48,849,311,690,0.136,0.7659999999999999,0.098,-0.9828,1,1,2,0,0,1,55.0,0,8,13,2,34,36,16,4,46,1,40,22,14,4,4,78,78,51,1,10,14,0,10,1,1,4,1,7,3,6,41,23,1,3,11,2,0,11,11,24,1,5,12,26,75,12,87,58,10,90,0,0,4,6,68,45,10,14,33,370,116,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077191583318996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084622869535572,0.05995556585336013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178780859774987,0.0,0.08211157780685475,0.0,0.11461937133973595,0.07588011680037111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750865426379741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801585514437544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04343502383752159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626208279333906,0.0,0.0,0.06959030635706592,0.07511278610017791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435558240046878,0.12105924406000515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034054062559685766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203425791998206,0.062263768353762974,0.14074988047987974,0.0,0.1148292629613164,0.2259591349914712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955717081389375,0.071695072451763,0.06033215659699628,0.06649394506297414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028624962734726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771258110387319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029565197999116,0.0,0.05986356169686635,0.0,0.0,0.07402733408176737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773938646305064,0.0,0.03290369102892516,0.0,0.0,0.059602418698900976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057258357955468235,0.0,0.06372797186600873,0.044956488135662935,0.0,0.0676618868791243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34002029440208675,0.0,0.0,0.0715821368496635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598846561481522,0.06462391166510936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825517630523753,0.05122252778227232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676737531328924,0.29403606548302397,0.0,0.0,0.19100187921216732,0.07592673551420177,0.06450245339786667,0.0,0.0,0.06444462504685036,0.0,0.0,0.07544714551446413,0.0,0.06736798633533174,0.0,0.043145981187027636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629414963344047,0.0,0.19219513562238655,0.053559232797796265,0.0,0.0,0.10733807868483183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765342453828457,0.05571241788664473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369827214077126,0.0,0.0,0.04767050715302207,0.0,0.0,0.05630741552876501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506386381401773,0.0,0.1177333185345137,0.062006610773672026,0.0,0.0,0.17897675297614782,0.17262002834325918,0.0,0.0,0.07854437395917957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572606644794755,0.07325719949000463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557060587777293,0.07944926746972701,0.0,0.054023915425152204,0.0,0.0605555231008163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679390211416248,0.0,0.04784333752406357,0.14727278080199105,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lavender246,2018/03/03,"Could war memories be the cause of my mental health issues? I lived in one of the middle eastern war countries at the peak time of war and I have memories of our windows shattering from bombs nearby or talking to USA soldiers, or them destroying our sidewalks with their tanks,. There was an incident too where I almost got run over by a tank once too. 

I never gave much thought to these memories unless I was telling people about them. However today I went to a psychiatrist for my anxiety and night terrors. She asked me if the war had affected me and I honestly never thought about it. Is it possible I was subconsciously affected? I lived in the country from birth till I was 6 and now I am 19.

Just curious if that could impact me subconsciously because my mental health is very bad, I wake up every night screaming and running. ",5.0616666666666665,6.842849216560516,5.746894904458599,77.1630599787686,69.57324840764332,9.309766454352443,32.19161358811041,9.725611199111238,3.325972823779193,665,30,117,16,12,216,101,157,0.204,0.764,0.031,-0.982,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,3,0,8,9,5,1,8,0,12,3,1,3,2,22,18,11,4,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,8,0,1,10,1,24,1,21,5,1,19,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,5,9,88,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629298912072296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447219249701615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211125989628504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585549461554966,0.0991860976749639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671473027975946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598203212918397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370896285636501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013351540149165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34590481943467066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698262678574571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873506396543516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327945471053564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196100795117903,0.0,0.25098293282669565,0.0,0.0,0.30538336893177626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328012675161333,0.11025605331467768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280216277109514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343032264139691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077959655653126,0.14221512658336793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583460672573845,0.0948771191032176,0.0,0.15422942023556122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342522379831697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083317951220301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sidstar1991,2018/03/03,"Question I get sleep very early like after 8 i feel a bit dark and drousy and sleep at 9 and stuggle to wake up till 10 am there to i push myself to wake up. Im fine during the day

Is this depression?would therapy help me get rid of this problem and have a healthy night and good sleep?

I only feel normal at nighta when i drink alchohol.",0.6534154929577447,2.8941555211267627,2.3304049295774694,94.16208626760564,85.33802816901408,4.676760563380283,18.734154929577464,5.985473137389443,-0.23856478873239384,266,7,58,2,8,87,51,71,0.044,0.7709999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.8447,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,3,6,5,0,0,10,7,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,3,10,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,7,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259989797635837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350295098860382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278890414268985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933879819544224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21630613655983452,0.0,0.0,0.17362838015835533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875301190156275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360402261760415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113358904120286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426286314817887,0.20282376092948232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743881347019648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807857482229327,0.0,0.0,0.2318961906761163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6214721066266317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367315405654768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080317258853514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705245169196032,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kellidra,2018/03/03,"Personal day Hey guys, just thought I should post my thought after the day I had.

I decided to not do anything today. I'm usually rushing around doing stuff, preparing for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, but today, I thought to myself, ""Self, you deserve a day of hanging around the house.""

And I hated it! I kept thinking about what I could be doing, what I should be doing, how much of a waste of time it was to not do anything.

But the thing is, I needed it. I was so tired this morning, and I stayed in bed reading, browsing Reddit, the whole kit and caboodle.

So, here's my thought to myself and my advice to you: take time and relax. If you know the stuff you need to do can be put off for 24 hours, put it off for 24 hours. It's not procrastination if it's one day (only when it becomes repetitive does procrastination become a problem).

I think our society has it so ingrained that we have to do *everything* and *anything* but not *nothing* that we burn ourselves out, and then when we inevitably burn out we become anxious.

**Breathe in, breathe out, straighten your neck and shoulders, and relax.**",2.307516406890894,4.869216146226414,3.4783675143560298,86.54161197703036,80.93396226415095,6.1397867104183765,27.14191960623461,7.423996415210882,1.6633176374077112,861,38,163,13,23,278,110,212,0.094,0.887,0.018000000000000002,-0.9521,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,5,5,0,0,11,4,1,0,8,0,20,5,4,1,0,46,33,23,0,8,10,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,16,20,0,1,8,3,0,4,4,2,0,1,8,0,27,2,24,19,2,34,0,0,0,0,14,9,0,2,19,127,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920045910212912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624528982662378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758813068021352,0.1989617515166996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37025610733219294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922299784997223,0.0,0.0,0.2882771031139745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779286682489644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004333746694026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064971714544868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032963818023153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010177883614485,0.12894408576784075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614146820206971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214884666490982,0.16572189059921813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722679764375903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572445110474793,0.08499064014840374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757547904837724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702526881784576,0.0,0.0,0.10692931750922442,0.0,0.2246785160305788,0.0,0.0,0.1117798853755585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657925073297153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911025209753492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558532137902313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402182512489267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424149815381642,0.14320931967366451,0.0,0.35486694018153153,0.13032423255684447,0.12843977712601154,0.21185119257278254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307644536388458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247644870898681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Devin2019,2018/03/03,"How do I get over wanting everyone to like me? I am a 20-year-old male. I have social anxiety disorder, and one of my biggest problems with social anxiety is that I am a people pleaser. I rely on external approval from other people to make me feel good. For example, when someone gives me a dirty or unfriendly look I get upset. When someone doesn't smile at me, I think it's because they think something is wrong with me. When people smile at me or are friendly to me, I get happy. I have this attitude that I want everyone to like me. I'm trying to change this attitude. I want to get to a point where I don't care if someone dislikes me or not. How can I get to that point?",2.745519947678225,4.150429071942448,4.703649444081101,83.84650098103339,74.8273381294964,7.932243296272074,29.18312622629169,8.575989854853784,2.258807194244604,527,23,107,10,11,181,76,139,0.2,0.644,0.156,-0.6816,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,6,9,0,1,4,0,11,0,0,3,0,18,27,10,0,5,5,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,2,24,6,17,27,0,11,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,4,5,76,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464919302747024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552197642853125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303917708575048,0.0,0.14841254719070174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078918414519772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681140344930908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093690837060125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839086760155582,0.0,0.3664893636873334,0.13458287695255752,0.0,0.11767202831010933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934566988066456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708121381891158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781170345883607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364739592975513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472150497334626,0.0,0.09506690769890884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178677652620305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26524652833102264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424249908256355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28602431864603234,0.3566121870905931,0.1080052463072036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978957887997368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525047944223926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482472713820941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153389566060204,0.0,0.09034479563961924
mentalhealth,Alsimmons,2018/03/03,"Things feel... grey? The best way I can describe it is, it feels like I'm constantly missing out on something... Like I'm strapped down, able to watch but not interact. I'm begging for something to rip me out of whatever this is because it's starting to hurt.
Adventure? Hobby? Exercise? Drugs? Pain? Pleasure? Thrill? These usually do fix it... but it's always temporary.

Answers to possible questions:
Meds - Wellbutrin for the past 2 months.
           - Adderall for 10+ years until 3-4
             months ago.
Current Diagnoses - None. However, through the years I've been told it could be PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety or basically anything in that genre of good time brain stuffs. Truthfully, I don't give a damn about the label... I just want to have motivation and feel passion again.

TL:DR - I'm stuck in a rut again and I wanna feel alive. Advice?",1.8584615384615404,4.635468230769233,3.0307794871794904,84.44755384615388,94.25641025641028,6.5985641025641035,28.0348717948718,7.699297019823105,2.5272382564102576,668,34,117,16,25,214,115,156,0.112,0.655,0.233,0.9623,2,1,3,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,2,4,14,1,0,6,0,9,7,1,1,1,21,23,6,0,3,5,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,11,4,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,6,5,9,20,18,2,21,0,3,2,1,4,6,1,2,16,62,16,1,0.15513516181915513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864423171757404,0.15159628466278818,0.13751796063263902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908488225223866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867797416804295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276630198047188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945689547324438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280478125031594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318214686858802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764599715058315,0.0,0.12386280324958825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361768755305886,0.1574589236769405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990753555604616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137639964233045,0.11082859060107544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488197832860473,0.0,0.13012001339600807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660753993091397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158240777027066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723201920622998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476548121765458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650747500177552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809406586583745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489158546470804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134470233140013,0.0,0.17378688558713398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23886125357329496,0.0,0.0,0.10980546601189382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759264452065324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306490815566896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046056042067316,0.0,0.0,0.14823829528950835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085946341322447,0.0,0.09150273785438336,0.1231390705046434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998039158109239
mentalhealth,ggdd33,2018/03/03,"Overreacting to small things I am a teenage girl and I notice that I overreact unhealthily to small things. For example, my friend canceled on plans for a valid reason and I feel personally attacked and I cried for 45 minutes in emotional pain and all of a sudden I realize that it doesn’t matter and it has nothing to do with them not liking me.  Another example is I was trying to make a joke and messed around with my friends social media and they said that I was annoying and the next 4 hours I couldn’t stop thinking about it and actually thought about suicide. I could barely sleep but I forced myself to.   The next day it was fine. This is really painful and I get impulsive and angry when these things happens and blame the other people on it to try and make them feel bad. I’ve gotten better and just putting me phone down when I get into that state though. I’ve had a lot of trauma as a kid, and now with my parents and I don’t know if that has anything to do with it.   It happens a lot and I really need help. Any advice?",3.1426951357466066,4.819844100961539,4.328880090497741,85.81906108597289,74.33653846153847,7.5864253393665155,25.21606334841629,8.313332769828598,1.547039253393666,815,27,166,14,17,267,118,208,0.189,0.727,0.084,-0.9711,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,3,2,8,13,2,0,10,0,15,3,1,3,1,44,29,23,1,4,4,1,2,1,2,0,2,1,0,3,18,23,0,1,7,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,7,3,24,6,25,20,3,19,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,3,10,120,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.1302075434824791,0.0,0.0,0.13038536151651328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907363559956096,0.13991203370874786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980077134841514,0.1187801778159272,0.0,0.15179485118150232,0.0,0.0,0.11140771597477483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800718621693546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065322703394101,0.0,0.146565588914617,0.0860507240892083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008976605594854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493151298371045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617396634607527,0.0,0.13942238383555894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359818054854163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894347057894415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140077541770548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332913783999076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518671311976322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268732799898132,0.0,0.0,0.17812990599718925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989359788165846,0.0,0.0,0.2838066997342232,0.0,0.0,0.12802880949396073,0.15190990218383724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839559162836968,0.0,0.1481572130618133,0.0,0.0,0.09250293002064636,0.11650513391130587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413308780251074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095618211567845,0.1371873260711383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269216185889988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352544988820098,0.13601415310988746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115526929596508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594976694400358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26593307361262297,0.08549597259807035,0.13109340248194776,0.1059277924888453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117918582552145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ASK_ME_IF_IM_YEEZUS,2018/03/03,"In shambles. My family is worried. I don’t know where to get help. Recovering addict / alcoholic (clean of opioids for 4 1/2 years, sober for 2), currently tapering off of benzos at a slow rate under professional care. 

This past week has been the darkest I’ve had in years. I wake up with a cloud of doom over my body that I can barely peek out of during the day. It’s only somewhat lifted by my daily dose of Ativan, and when that wears off I’m back in the doom cloud. 

I usually keep my darkness to myself. My friends, coworkers, and counselor have been impressed by my recent strides in my anxiety and depression, but maybe I was just hiding it.  These past 5 days have been so brutal I’ve reached out to all my loved ones. My head hurts, I feel like I’m drowning, I feel a haze on my vision, I compulsively think of death. I had to call off work today because I can’t stop crying, my eyes well up uncontrollably. 

I’ve been prescribed antidepressants in the past year but was taken off of them because of side effects and what my shrink said was a “bad fit”.  He didn’t prescribe anything in place of it, but I seemed completely fine at my last appointment. Now I’m in the doom cloud and I’m fucking desperate to get out from under it. My doctor prescribed me Clonidine the other day to help with the Ativan withdrawal and I don’t know if it’s making me better or worse... 

(My sobriety isn’t in danger. My family knows and will take me to a hospital if they think I’m going to fall off the wagon. Not to mention I’d rather die than drink again. Heroin is distantly tempting but entirely out of the question.)",2.8887857142857136,4.835720450000005,4.244017857142861,84.99062500000002,75.75,7.321428571428572,25.17857142857143,8.192908349453996,1.5948571428571432,1264,44,250,22,28,417,181,320,0.191,0.7020000000000001,0.107,-0.9874,1,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,3,9,18,3,1,14,0,21,12,5,2,1,38,45,16,3,3,10,0,2,1,1,1,4,1,1,0,11,13,2,2,10,1,0,2,6,10,1,1,12,4,34,8,52,32,2,52,3,5,1,2,11,29,1,6,22,159,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341176917233991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147854834413494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941153900172554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012408156098865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460024112312564,0.10272248447809823,0.14999234896890876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880746677562156,0.0,0.1366553667391367,0.0,0.0,0.12562441802379148,0.0,0.12543432145537872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289915671611896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513948563234152,0.2380268931709605,0.0,0.10596305561682036,0.0,0.127682699891546,0.0,0.0,0.12592344360892027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051971502050313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23195798980791135,0.0,0.12441239035197373,0.08789058039290043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505042748820017,0.11373656578618654,0.12855315750921986,0.0,0.06991913256719208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626129155651475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492493534898994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317030484200829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935213372320064,0.0,0.0,0.2028374199485333,0.10028350165470816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060104823692277064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103675545319384,0.0,0.08212154043273101,0.0,0.12359725168770552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336634272528738,0.09356764864828636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523298455146079,0.0,0.0,0.1285371280391715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781850112943306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147441302859775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170269391250742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199924562128157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285615920563662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250106362707956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766158818180442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661529974217325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549696268412273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868491376668907,0.0,0.11061613228645337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956518953222399,0.12493998563143754,0.1253751190811606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376762444170148
mentalhealth,catonaswivelchair,2018/03/03,"Should I tell my counselor I'm now seeing another mental health professional? So I've been seeing the free counselor at my university (a phD intern) but I had recently been referred by my doctor to a clinical social work to deal with specific physical affects of anxiety I have. I've never talked to my counselor about these physical issues cause I didn't feel she had the expertise. I've discussed the emotional issues with her. I'm not sure if I should let her know I'm seeing someone else now or not. I'm afraid it will make her feel inadequate or convey the message that I don't need her. 

Any thoughts? Thank you!",4.077249999999999,6.085972225000003,5.413333333333334,77.62500000000001,72.58333333333334,8.8,29.5,9.3871,2.9109,497,21,89,12,10,166,76,120,0.076,0.86,0.064,-0.3389,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,1,6,0,11,3,0,3,2,21,25,5,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,6,5,16,4,9,15,0,5,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,3,4,55,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314920018262818,0.1898914151675973,0.13853536836076988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860320180680436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669855258660475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535598314388335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127965734098514,0.2037048374113921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18313175265909812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249300031128005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780273184395234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952377496307553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185179486360526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088073854994813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249878034301026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342778925476947,0.13966980236266885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788071276359765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43292214641412574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846011335281157,0.15343920003840122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067766319816066,0.0,0.0,0.14555539851574675,0.15828294298080015,0.16672576564882333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376732213870155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183759342519766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Inkderp,2018/03/03,"Anyone else go through self love/hate cycles? I have ADHD, and I think I might also have depression. I've noticed, especially in times of stress (which is fairly often) I'll tell myself, ""Hey, it's gonna be fine, you can do this,"" and then ""No, no it's *not* okay, you're a failure and you're never going to change."" And on and on it goes. ""You need help. I'm going to talk to my therapist about this."" ""It won't help. No self help methods you ever try work, so just give up."" ""Is this going to be what my life is for years to come? Surely you'll get better over time..."" ""No, it probably will be this way until you inevitably kill yourself, because that's the way you're going and you're clearly not about to change."" There are days when I allow myself to do the things I like, such as watching movies and relaxing in bed and generally being lazy, followed by days of intense stress where I want to cry but can't, then a day of soothing, then stress and scolding...

Sometimes these cycles last a few weeks, other times just a few days. It's as if I have a cartoon angel and devil hanging around me, except they're not on my shoulders, they're in my head.

How do you deal with this?",2.0145682671408807,3.725387394190876,3.329697688203911,91.63065006915629,77.54771784232365,5.58632681288283,21.019758940920767,6.18269132825596,0.11751199367713873,906,23,195,6,21,295,139,241,0.112,0.778,0.109,-0.8292,1,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,6,0,2,14,12,1,3,7,1,20,3,2,2,4,33,34,22,1,3,8,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,2,17,13,0,0,1,1,0,8,10,6,0,0,0,1,20,6,30,25,2,37,2,1,1,0,16,10,0,3,18,129,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959415013771834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288805517134446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121735309951655,0.11901317059375567,0.0,0.10340140036476426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080620464958254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272848999137006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24575038201397015,0.10005610955219647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275893622801567,0.29963805533326937,0.11974934280991195,0.1000429935643572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703149433195664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506765262460667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068550323746597,0.11142519298294973,0.3300640628343052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920718504280962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23356608795880054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850683626984838,0.0,0.0,0.09468075125101064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204277858560448,0.05674682043501581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483323028528864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232206978586581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612648123786314,0.08958487793075637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224173346015056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523331159627354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24234723885113066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487895862261463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991609407293545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947346788256598,0.0,0.0,0.09335992739745584,0.10152343517059233,0.0,0.0,0.13486337392141146,0.07716734312763977,0.07442658745542456,0.0,0.0,0.2031904330120936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788607235474045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851044934191107,0.18439476784276895,0.09317147505222416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456126173224819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479916106042515
mentalhealth,GOOD_TIMES,2018/03/04,"Social and likeable guy feeling lonely, frustrated, and confused about his friendships not feeling reciprocal Hi all. This is very uncomfortable for me to do but I thought I'd reach out anyway.

I'm a 30 year old male with a decent size group of acquaintances and friends. When I do spend time with friends, they seem to have a good time with me. My feelings of loneliness stem from the fact that 99% of the time I am reaching out to others to make plans to hang out. It gets to a point where it feels like people don't want to spend time with me even though everything seems all good when I am with people. I know I'm likeable which makes it even more frustrating that people don't reach out to me to spend time together. It doesn't add up and I don't know what I'm doing wrong in my friendships. I'm aware that in the past I've had a pattern of only reaching out to people with the intent of hanging out. I'm working on this and have been reaching out to friends for casual conversation and to check in and see how they're doing. I'd appreciate any advice to help me feel better and point me towards feeling like my friendships are more reciprocal. 

Thanks 💜 ",5.634809113300491,5.857128133620693,5.775443349753697,83.17103448275864,67.23275862068965,8.697536945812809,30.364532019704434,8.418075326091056,2.0357428571428584,925,32,188,12,14,293,118,232,0.079,0.652,0.269,0.9935,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,9,15,2,1,9,0,16,0,0,4,3,44,38,13,0,1,2,0,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,12,22,0,0,11,1,4,2,5,5,0,0,3,7,17,10,41,35,4,28,0,1,1,0,12,16,0,3,12,117,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332142072174047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582049550919113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161386286300523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667081457602888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342064450961735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828638204721555,0.18031496325803664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925059931948054,0.0,0.06593442030237177,0.0,0.0,0.211701559204063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495808564388546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845893653359848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871271059186654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331013206711235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684792895851373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324259299956345,0.0,0.0,0.09598097459781643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204724155585924,0.3499654445372713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386000497635596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056525760910263,0.22977593012641565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864525898216955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618823184326045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399110186363395,0.1001888993649618,0.3679418943273291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041284204834918,0.07443617538010447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187528280907001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798015878081893,0.0,0.08126882139090605
mentalhealth,avocadosandwater,2018/03/04,"Any ways i can help out my boyfriend? My boyfriend admitted to me recently that he thinks he has depression and that sometimes suicidal thoughts go through his head. He's seen 3 GP's and they have all shrugged him off. There is no way i would shrug him off as, if he does have a mental health problem, that would be so damaging to him. The problem is if doctors are saying he doesn't have anything wrong then its hard to help him in any way in terms of medicine. All i'm asking is any tips on how i can help him? (He also doesn't like to talk about it a huge amount because he doesn't want me to worry about him)",5.412154017857142,4.676519210937503,5.27736607142857,89.79531250000002,67.828125,8.876785714285715,31.566964285714285,7.957251820313856,1.7995589285714284,481,17,112,5,7,149,80,128,0.197,0.7020000000000001,0.101,-0.9284,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,16,3,1,1,2,16,24,9,1,7,2,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,3,15,1,16,19,4,14,0,2,1,0,22,7,0,2,4,67,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097399916685196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33412598835336826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347761539322657,0.0,0.1531112471530734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983815218948937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410626041376063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676347362205515,0.14332409787506264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307937433058512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467138056077684,0.0,0.16808449402540904,0.17408940776643506,0.0,0.0,0.3293328141416188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001414173940102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505070073527026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134287492736453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617119942243447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024362649069154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619816089719232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791476327029214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163934835987326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494296371473186,0.0,0.13002222380460335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660109169554744,0.3900004170384623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663255144115346,0.0,0.23268779095762604,0.1790666151570532,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OneLegTomato,2018/03/04,"Feel very bad So my good friend attempted suicide today, it was her 19th birthday. She has had anorexia since a few years and it was not the first time. Still, I feel as if it were partly my fault for not being there enough for her. She lives in a different city but I just can't help feeling guilty. Loop thinking about all the times I could have messaged her but didn't and how I sometimes pretended that she must be ok to not deal with it. I've had depressive episode throughout this year myself (1st year at Uni), and because of that I'm currently failing my classes with no hope to get back on the track. Also I have no friends to support me. All my friends are back home and I just couldn't make any new while at uni. Thinking about suicide daily but I know i won't do it, I have too much people loving me to do that. i just feel the worse I felt in years and I don't know what to do. ",2.3945161290322585,3.8151481290322593,3.076107526881721,95.09416129032257,75.7741935483871,6.035268817204301,24.227956989247307,6.42735559955562,0.4572047311827956,696,22,159,5,15,218,112,186,0.166,0.6859999999999999,0.147,-0.4553,2,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,0,3,13,12,0,0,6,1,22,1,0,2,3,34,37,14,2,5,10,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,9,1,0,0,10,4,0,1,7,5,25,8,18,24,6,19,0,2,0,1,13,5,0,2,14,114,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123472984429735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955358884711876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160514611639332,0.11730066753739628,0.08563949143629991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216733343601268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483579325886747,0.1210011344770912,0.0,0.0,0.1467788770777766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516049026201794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841375286502381,0.0,0.13488942559529496,0.0,0.0,0.11949805906766145,0.0,0.0,0.3256194196643863,0.0,0.0733985907101315,0.0,0.0,0.11783372042596647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941653870050389,0.0,0.14091978428163093,0.1395351599418499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441581838945953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405247923220655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679488431399166,0.0,0.09377607600614926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327401339664456,0.0,0.0,0.13568309358197272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521335888630507,0.0,0.09739590607030936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621218985029833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894510575536775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121929951177854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30733966565359583,0.15942283418187975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003662618455113,0.0,0.0,0.16383804624651027,0.0,0.13316512518490564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115916379962248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316812171668533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618757505661315
mentalhealth,whitelilac29,2018/03/04,"I’m terrified that I have special needs or some kind of disorder I’m not really sure what’s wrong with me, but I’m completely paranoid that I have special needs and everyone around me is just pretending that I don’t. I have no friends, I’m so shy that I literally just don’t talk most of the time, I’m really stupid, and I’m hideously ugly. I want to believe that I’m normal, but a big part of me is especially terrified that I have autism or something because of my complete inability to have a conversation and make friends. Is there any way that I can figure out what’s wrong with me or if I’m normal?",4.462619047619048,4.8134018888888885,6.098531746031751,79.39160714285715,69.7936507936508,10.109523809523813,31.62301587301588,10.125756701596842,3.0128444444444447,482,20,102,12,8,166,66,126,0.28,0.602,0.117,-0.9758,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,1,0,3,0,11,0,0,1,1,26,23,10,0,6,9,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,13,6,10,23,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,6,1,64,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309997513813713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114639799675934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034826215941483,0.0,0.0,0.20394782916168405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37959256901582944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746488546461456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297260308048568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797115869691862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850473068996207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208324202521077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684484383123811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547228148648863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602728677574535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23193241052317706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393582296833286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060944013579318,0.0,0.0,0.14549721729364196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555436151990633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677043151874524,0.14368544595376978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958344452498749,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrisoveli,2018/03/04,"How to feel happy? I just feel ""meh"" all the time, I'm only ever happy under the influence or out of the country. What do i do? I just feel nothing? Anyone else feel this way before? If so, what did you do? I need help.",-1.7381762917933123,0.1844035106382993,1.5902735562310042,95.62000000000002,99.0,3.5367781155015194,13.097264437689967,5.288315135182226,-1.0870522796352584,163,3,37,1,7,58,33,47,0.0,0.779,0.221,0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,2,2,14,10,4,0,2,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,5,2,4,9,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551730045319888,0.2571971336642387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135974382692275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209692944846614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270597360028369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076880419348251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.534425678076085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682517658745152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861263253172037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408580996608353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909101504934656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463703462341781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924603938890115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sjokokatten,2018/03/04,"Struggling with mental health and feeling delusional Lately I've been feeling really horrible overall. First of all, I've been feeling really delusional, not feeling like I'm myself and not relating to the way I'm acting - and I always feel like I'm too mean to everyone, but I can't seem to act normal.
Every night I've been thinking and stressing about school, my subjects and my grades as I'm trying to get into a new school next year (even though I'm 90% sure I get in). This has also made me staying up longer and not sleeping as well.
I really love art and music, but when I play with my band, I always feel like I'm not playing well, and disappointing. I also feel like I'm disappointing my teacher.
As for the art, every single time I step into the classroom or think of art class I get really nervous and feel like the teacher won't like my ideas, or be disappointed in my work, and now I don't feel like she likes me at all
I'm really looking forward to starting upper secondary school (I'm Norwegian) and getting to know new people, but I don't know what to do with my mental health up until that point, and I don't know what I'm experiencing. Anyways, thank you for any replies :) ",6.326408110717727,5.7648236234309636,7.181673640167363,76.31854843900871,65.90376569037657,9.86430640489218,32.19214676536852,9.265573868473778,2.7140541358223365,942,33,182,15,13,316,116,239,0.18,0.71,0.11,-0.9424,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,2,11,21,0,3,5,0,11,4,1,1,3,48,46,25,0,1,9,0,9,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,17,0,0,17,6,0,4,9,6,2,1,4,11,24,15,26,40,3,27,0,3,1,1,4,10,0,3,21,105,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013851611721231,0.14581283525410693,0.0,0.0,0.05958424382179284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787183320909755,0.0,0.14764636400719364,0.08372415790395116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3987273277939685,0.3755721988694587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452907594893939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311022569774565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627079749647754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891171592419784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446010687859048,0.0,0.09883857796868677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424515755212539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357828680598401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790799920660117,0.0829076605383872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544328875254993,0.0,0.0,0.1765996337615137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924685916165635,0.09318429977527716,0.08222493656788495,0.08584847668061811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074430779264627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282871974027033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806563787539662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660267425737166,0.0,0.07976547422500793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768274717730687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201751144764685,0.0933906962863104,0.0,0.0,0.1003678062132199,0.09159889368964873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258031301747433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066823541738223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228603620165734,0.08608568386073108,0.0,0.051091617250110063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948786825968709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954825649432715,0.0,0.0,0.1575608514114597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378801729833307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642406560501481
mentalhealth,SarimarVee,2018/03/04,"Help please i'm going crazy I seriously need help because I feel like I won't make it out alive if I keep thinking the way I'm thinking. I've always suffered from anxiety/ panic attacks but recently I was at work and this intrusive terrible thought came over me ""what if life isn't real"" ""what if everything i'm experiencing is fake"" to me this is terrifying because I have a wonderful husband and 11 month old that I love so much. This thought has brought me to severe depression to the point where I'm having thoughts of taking my own life. I dont think I would ever act on that. But seriously. I feel so disconnected from the world, my family, my friends because my mind has literally led me to believe this is all fake. I can't do this. I have an appointment with the  pshyciatrist the 7th and I don't even feel like I can wait that long. I just want to check myself into a mental institution but I can't leave my son. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I feel like i'll never ever recover. Has anyone ever went through something similar? ",3.8559963768115963,5.403255405797104,5.530987318840584,78.45126358695654,72.23671497584542,8.846497584541064,30.32880434782609,9.354420925462401,2.7923528985507247,827,36,160,19,16,282,120,207,0.183,0.669,0.14800000000000002,-0.8631,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,8,15,1,1,8,0,20,3,0,2,5,39,46,11,0,6,7,2,4,3,1,2,2,0,0,0,11,7,0,2,11,0,1,6,8,9,0,0,7,5,28,6,15,37,3,23,0,2,0,1,6,8,0,4,11,103,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031013360166724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922230646739049,0.0,0.11955663571333405,0.08429378017683048,0.0,0.09920522333188672,0.0,0.0,0.1371469610564699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046480544278324,0.0,0.0,0.13582246364590778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788103905776206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038325159084283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128775382726655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962442141477352,0.3271425111520988,0.0,0.0,0.10834567386472914,0.0,0.11364707032379047,0.0,0.2438218004422349,0.25837024141265524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093139301871027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068513307797006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616088822055655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071534517227762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764870447085874,0.0,0.0,0.17030094380735206,0.17668898917287296,0.0,0.0,0.10668601589316556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088042017088066,0.0,0.08047036869379068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148953023066596,0.0,0.12172462569291252,0.0,0.0962246192702178,0.0,0.08862066199027685,0.08938886087524517,0.09297825796182366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650057389970013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414435071547782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233149431715113,0.11396198323312627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721622663340907,0.0,0.0,0.11903199515942145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619109228917187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280794094609557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906411966387336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23173736262712125,0.0,0.2871179368375539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711055524004427,0.09568972290472601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175426245872593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073508170450962,0.08776435251712217,0.0,0.0,0.08563771704064163,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isabelleeve,2018/03/04,"The difference between a counsellor, therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist - and which you should see On mobile, hope formatting is okay! I’m located in Australia, all information is accurate for here.

Counsellor - not a protected title, usually only qualification is at diploma level. Best suited for those going through a rough time but who don’t suffer with mental illness.

Therapist - usually bachelor level university education, often in occupational therapy or psychology. Great choice for group therapy or behavioural therapy for those with or without a mental illness.

Psychologist - protected title, has studied psychology for at least six years at university level including postgrad study. Chose a psychologist over a counsellor for therapy if you are struggling with a mental illness.

Psychiatrist - a medical doctor who undertook extra study to become a psychiatrist. Choose over a GP for getting prescribed medication, they are highly specialised.",11.611310344827588,14.355946993103455,11.711896551724141,36.92025862068968,54.93103448275862,15.731034482758625,49.67241379310346,13.968273953766033,9.178917241379311,794,51,77,36,10,266,93,145,0.153,0.773,0.07400000000000001,-0.9267,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,1,2,6,0,1,11,1,8,6,0,0,1,18,13,7,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,2,3,4,22,12,4,17,0,1,1,0,7,12,0,6,4,64,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662731613762384,0.0,0.0,0.1393275405240713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387100364187451,0.0,0.13588949524097138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936366726046034,0.0,0.07545279385584748,0.0,0.0,0.1463726877316935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027236807418106,0.0,0.13186452643981902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674913587994461,0.4013844072730102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097294182319744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579565323803032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879367269860335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6073084405646585,0.30829828197033005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741570794817848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29244139674283565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797967876993596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549561002822394
mentalhealth,babygorilla90,2018/03/04,"Mother staying up too long .. So the issue is my mother who is 60 who has COPD is staying up too long imo. 

She will do things like dishes, clean, crafts and go on the computer for at least 24 hours straight. She could go longer but i cut her off around that time. The problem is she will ""sleep"" and then wake up and continue. The thing is i don't think she's getting a deep sleep because when she does finally hit a deep sleep she is out for 2 days. So usually when she get's up after 8 hours it's because she was having a very light sleep and is excited to get up and continue her projects. 

Now when she stays up around the 20 hour mark she starts to act a little wired up and speedy. Makes me nervous. She 100% does not take any drugs besides COPD medicine and Effexor. 

A couple of times after staying up for a couple days she has had a bad panic attack and had to be tajen to the hospital. She claims it's a COPD flare up but this has only ever happened after she has stayed up. Also every time the doctors find no signs of a flare up and send her home a few hours later. 

I just want her to be able to go into a deep normal sleep after being up for 24 hours and stop obsessing over these projects and maybe just have one night a week where she stays up. 

So my questions are:

Can staying up long periods of time like 24 - 48 hours bring your immune system down ? 

Is this safe what she's doing ?

Thanks and sorry for the long post. ",3.712060810810812,4.3488185168918925,4.334027027027027,90.3501621621622,71.60135135135134,7.271351351351353,23.92162162162162,7.1686216300943375,0.7076681081081078,1115,27,247,10,20,355,155,296,0.105,0.818,0.077,-0.8921,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,16,12,2,3,20,0,28,10,6,1,1,33,43,22,0,4,5,2,0,2,0,2,3,0,2,0,11,16,1,2,3,0,0,6,3,7,0,1,3,1,27,5,41,33,2,80,0,0,0,0,27,29,0,1,38,161,38,4,0.07322900065040706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585612053632213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04979823157170833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303786720571508,0.0,0.08330855992161748,0.0,0.0,0.06114315676568927,0.08927943821895526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058467398321335226,0.1620529927636452,0.0,0.09445329467087968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495298514413609,0.1281663839013966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492239208545523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623982352770076,0.06169859138886812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021879080724735,0.0669299799392681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477739127288818,0.0,0.12485318589782568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475616343266642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345465838011489,0.0,0.4326948886906736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764320511873647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155198155618148,0.07339469660044935,0.0,0.2592214447733878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888092656665584,0.0,0.07356837380000296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872045644185804,0.07174887264837977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049621866022148575,0.05569395481978344,0.0,0.08591845419364245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013314025765965,0.0,0.0,0.07007026382987977,0.0,0.0,0.08203323997255853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664094287945016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197387088154406,0.05183186356795599,0.5463665988533447,0.0,0.0612227235213321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055059095027529405,0.0,0.0,0.06741942517237458,0.0,0.0,0.09730018827277527,0.04692218675933101,0.0,0.0,0.17080167668510418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065139850113805,0.060421594697944836,0.043192361881594483,0.0,0.05873988721652956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,camilo9712,2018/03/04,"not sure if i was raped hi,so im a male (20)and for quite some time ive had a memory that i dont know if is tru or not and i havent really weanted to think about it and i dont know if i can trust it.

when i was younger(7-9) i used to go to my grandmas house,i would stay there the whole day.but there is a memory of me taking a shower and my older cousin goin into the bathroom while i was taking a shower ,and i remember him making sign for me to be quiet,i really dont remember much which is hard for me cause i have no idea if anything did happen. the thing is i dont know if its a product of my imagination or a dream,however,i dont understan why i would remmember that if it was a procut of my imagination.

so how can i tell if it is or it isnt,is something that ive been trying to figure out and im afraid to even say something because its such a serious subject i cant be going around saying that,plus im not confortable speaking about it. how do i know,or what can i do.


I KNOW THIS PROBABLY ISNT THE RIHT PLACE TO POST IT,BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE ELSE TO POST",0.3075216899283291,1.7971871701244808,3.273144096567332,91.10700773293098,81.86307053941908,6.705469634100339,20.08317615993965,7.686295010490155,0.5509568464730288,832,22,200,14,22,298,116,241,0.071,0.913,0.016,-0.8440000000000001,3,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,12,5,1,1,13,0,33,1,0,5,1,43,45,20,0,9,13,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,15,8,0,0,12,0,0,2,13,3,0,0,7,4,28,2,19,34,3,14,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,11,4,139,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396473477423028,0.0908312938449516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219856943797854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481633377185684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580305526592398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5979114999451892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085235752540969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739205055036743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597578281610035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902277345860056,0.0,0.09140182010064844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036641453892076,0.3306405082965949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28037424210894074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681080384442511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750062358575287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660311060746118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543944636037733,0.0,0.1100091844467298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852500338451218,0.0,0.0,0.1307303246878797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311677398210181,0.0,0.0,0.16228199477810973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710048089729228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875395120664066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616520370507163,0.0,0.1534327282330483,0.0,0.0891816255833934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677864090247791,0.06537883637158486,0.0,0.0,0.05949645382718185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927393176582848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812403486237244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206920784885407,0.1139165663941524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496309683074635,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iridescentunikon,2018/03/04,"I feel permanently exhausted. Yup as the title says i feel permanently exhausted 😩. This exhausting feeling haunts me even when I’m rested or when im on a break. 

I don’t know if it’s emotional or physical or what. I can feel like the zest in life is slowly being zapped away. 

Help. 

Just to add abit on my background. I work in a job that I don’t hate. I have a loving family and friends. I’m lesbian and single. Not lucky in the relationship dept lol. 

In fact some people will call me blessed with what I have and I know and appreciate the gifts I have been given. ",0.7001847290640413,3.0832655948275907,3.0017733990147804,88.29913793103451,87.01724137931032,6.762561576354681,20.354679802955662,7.957251820313856,1.065802463054188,443,14,95,10,14,151,77,116,0.127,0.6709999999999999,0.202,0.8469,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,7,2,10,6,0,0,1,21,21,11,0,1,6,0,4,1,1,1,4,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,5,13,5,10,17,3,10,1,0,0,2,6,7,0,6,3,61,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164278752375911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352201338279543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25912048911311786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521485492182572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21715996883164487,0.0,0.4659014476453885,0.16456700383136758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779731570174873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274297318432662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440336351253445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24882496396967985,0.0,0.22859366254506985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531962379934507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270787950731044,0.11254073766077463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079060813843985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970045860696053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473170845698276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831890398651742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770255496113762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lepork96,2018/03/04,"Is what I'm feeling normal? Hi guys, my issue isn't as serious as the others I've seen on here but I'm not too sure where else to ask so if there's another subreddit more suited for this please let me know! I've been working this office job for the past few months and I've known since I started that I was not going to enjoy this job (for certain reasons I can't quit my job but with proper reasoning like medical documentation that I'm mentally unfit my job can be changed to something else). My office is seriously understaffed so my workload is pretty large. That along with many other things has started to make me start to dread going to work everyday. I've been feeling like I have to force myself to wake up every morning, I feel a twinge of negative emotion like a really mini heartbreak whenever I think about having to work and just shut it out of my mind when I'm not working so it doesn't affect me. I'm not miserable or anything, heck I didn't even really realise this was really affecting me at all until I got back from a 4 day vacation and when I went from a super happy mood back to my regular mood it felt like such a huge difference. I just wanna know what anyone else thinks about this. This is my first job so I'm unsure if this is a normal feeling for others. Honestly I think I'm hoping someone will tell me it is a problem so I can seek help and maybe appeal and switch jobs to something easier without having to feel guilty. I really don't know what to think about all this so I'd like to hear from anyone. I'm a 19yo Male if that helps with anything. Thanks!",3.3592923076923067,4.755165113846154,4.910769230769231,83.00923076923078,73.24615384615385,8.03076923076923,25.30769230769231,8.608573733854374,1.7388461538461546,1262,40,251,23,25,425,168,325,0.091,0.7070000000000001,0.202,0.9898,6,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,7,21,21,0,2,10,0,24,2,1,5,4,52,58,22,0,8,13,0,6,5,0,1,1,1,0,2,23,10,0,0,16,0,0,3,11,6,0,1,9,8,27,13,39,46,4,23,0,2,1,0,8,7,1,5,18,162,50,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914778780419301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889179368387795,0.08711001272449248,0.13992357348306078,0.0,0.07947946360330596,0.0,0.0,0.13074572454367228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993676413074662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548289628000902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882472040621467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130625038497228,0.09563273623618332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056152958517130785,0.0,0.07163052985850303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493587021633084,0.06073619621686417,0.08162969871957866,0.0,0.0,0.07231545776267184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663429541436838,0.0,0.06799589989574277,0.0,0.0,0.08418024407314384,0.0,0.0905022286878935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582039216527556,0.0,0.1139702706436904,0.0,0.0,0.08444111179637735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873571019177195,0.5061978119196686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016943889827518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693569185941047,0.0,0.2076751768525724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674953983756367,0.08619394291515894,0.08541105197862603,0.0,0.0,0.08564573180815767,0.0856771883562163,0.0,0.08584298303961288,0.0,0.06785979675834375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659731280286472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115839238050754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332318877637967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649290219364056,0.0,0.0813498333183173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042609570942588,0.0,0.0,0.21785639223555356,0.17482337022522754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032698080785083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203466904386223,0.13090055451353014,0.0,0.0,0.18052651287576368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012756178722445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430864739947103,0.07827227557620069,0.0,0.0,0.056481549127947235,0.2179019665785712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881165542501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195340061838889,0.0,0.24757369453299016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Darcg8r,2018/03/04,Is there an equivalent to the Baker Act in US states other than Florida? [Baker Act](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Mental_Health_Act),15.255000000000004,21.09070227777778,8.89777777777778,47.30000000000004,54.00000000000001,12.488888888888884,31.222222222222214,11.20814326018867,5.9953555555555536,123,4,10,4,2,32,17,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kami_ga_katarimasu,2018/03/04,"Anxiety attacks? To be clear I do have a minor case of social anxiety but lately I've been having what I think are anxiety attacks?
Its only once I start to think about death, if theres life after death, or if I'll cease to exist after death. Even typing this out I'm starting to tear up. Its not neccisarly like my usual anxiety attacks. I start shaking, crying, completly paralyzed, and unaware of my surroundings. Its.. Frightening. 
Its only once o start thinking about death but lately these atracks have been happeni g more frequently and there quit scary. Idk. ",3.7223688811188818,6.5679721634615404,4.662657342657344,78.47325174825177,77.36538461538461,7.627972027972027,27.72377622377623,8.575989854853784,2.6406076923076935,451,19,73,10,11,146,68,104,0.44,0.547,0.013,-0.9955,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,3,1,1,0,8,1,0,0,1,13,16,7,4,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,6,1,12,13,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,11,46,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262913716628817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4754605018404465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606535681360555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302703597537284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201386860973504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142986638741599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839976472781088,0.06806051521073972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967241977224511,0.0,0.21190520104222887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817482656697575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201043270280786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944213157532705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267795368027405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343182998067284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sgtpepper143,2018/03/04,"Body Dysmorphia (Acne and Underweight) Last year, I got hit with adult acne. It got progressively worse and I ended spending a lot of money and time trying to fix it. With products, going to all kinds of doctors, medication, etc..

It’s gotten slightly better, a lot of scarring left but overall less pimples in general.

However, I’ve somewhat become obsessed with my face and whenever a new spot appears, I feel like it’ll all comeback. My skin is definitely not what it used to be when it was clear and not as bad when it was at its worst but I can’t help but feel like it’s still a problem.

I avoid sunlight as much as I can, I constantly try to avoid mirrors if I know I’m having an off day yet I constantly am looking at mirrors to see what new spots or marks are on my face. 

I’ve changed my diet to a less sugar and carb one (it makes my acne worse) and it’s making me lose weight and I’m already underweight. Another thing is that I get upset if I lose weight because I don’t want to be a stick. It’s a constant battle what I eat. The foods that will help me gain weight is bad for my face and food that is good for my face makes me too skinny.

I don’t want to live like this. I used to have decent skin two years ago and I was at an acceptable weight. Now I feel like a hollow mess that constantly worries about what I eat and how I live my life. I want to be normal again.

What should I do???

",1.3079107752315942,3.225523300341301,3.150457094100439,91.11340870307168,80.50170648464164,6.096977084349098,22.409678205753288,7.1686216300943375,0.6811814724524616,1089,35,239,14,28,364,152,293,0.125,0.708,0.16699999999999998,0.9074,1,2,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,5,9,20,1,4,11,0,22,21,8,6,3,49,45,23,0,8,8,0,9,4,0,3,3,0,0,1,23,14,11,2,5,0,2,2,5,12,0,2,6,12,32,8,28,32,10,28,0,2,2,0,3,7,0,7,23,154,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784060607641238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760736270128127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927480960648076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770500105943596,0.053918623989482085,0.09768666456705884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822730864144141,0.0,0.09824860249211276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356893586274832,0.0,0.0,0.38233441447155947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057043276498189736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053286856408274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101395405467546,0.0,0.0,0.07834091878825418,0.0,0.09864572521220738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416974147950525,0.18956723548896987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139094713583776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621175286638835,0.0,0.050268476285315535,0.07418811062948957,0.14148394280731152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857305571519686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210761905454687,0.048610099792350814,0.07209898978500083,0.0,0.0,0.09610176298007199,0.0,0.06247522729825657,0.1728498505901666,0.0,0.15620688237411073,0.0,0.07427617094029362,0.1979070434636945,0.0,0.15039496038515204,0.0,0.0,0.17712425295562145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910460659698101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502131905302448,0.0,0.0,0.1708521520125501,0.0,0.0,0.08666274257930688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059936370323993175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463521463971206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048362312528529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063670996352465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876260391243954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051576217131717686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010421181404385,0.0,0.08640331844134108,0.0,0.0,0.15278572298735155,0.0,0.0,0.15651124823163684,0.0,0.0,0.4308356822530899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982580982059526,0.1802772994714524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391848666102887
mentalhealth,Th3UnmovedMover,2018/03/04,"Hospitalization I was hospitalized over 2 years ago after trying to off myself. Spent about a week there and it turned out to be one of the most pleasant experiences of my life. I met so many people around my age that were experiencing some of the same things I was feeling, which helped give me a different perspective at a time when I had felt so alone. Everyday felt genuinely different, even though I was confined to the same living space and had a set schedule, I felt like I was getting something out of the time I had there, like I was having the biggest break of my entire life so far. I was expecting everything to go up from there but it just led to one of the worst years of my life with the next one being only a bit better. Honestly, I think about that place so often. Even if the memories of what I did there starts to fade, I remember what I felt and I really miss it. It just feels like it was the last time I really had a chance to feel comfortable. Granted, my current headspace is a lot better than back then. I still feel like I'm missing something that I had only ever had during my time in the hospital. Does anyone else who's been hospitalized feel the same way? ",4.722500000000005,5.695538119658121,5.544519230769232,81.35985576923079,69.51282051282051,9.097863247863248,27.018162393162388,9.354420925462401,2.1216675213675207,936,29,188,19,16,306,128,234,0.053,0.799,0.14800000000000002,0.9662,3,1,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,21,12,0,0,18,0,20,3,0,1,1,33,40,12,0,2,4,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,13,7,0,1,11,0,1,2,0,3,0,3,22,10,26,9,29,16,8,39,0,2,0,0,4,12,0,5,26,140,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710667424208076,0.0,0.0,0.11345750062944215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765977057121263,0.1122436950861656,0.0,0.09751992318263704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423476693726573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377057597453065,0.11959678953365414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890628807326144,0.0,0.0,0.0958651880361367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915123377456056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14470932460811795,0.09909139892483697,0.0,0.0,0.09845364657348303,0.1071578412327148,0.0,0.0,0.2769508983535975,0.15652058530677815,0.4207286270079848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057233708568167764,0.10508732204762862,0.06225800025802952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342694546192703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929530505680955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232128542857278,0.2140762330165665,0.0,0.0967318769317291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931328157762397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106331343840166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650431943152052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22269534516525066,0.16663063398534295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594599364686823,0.0,0.11445314403663072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403570364522756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409522795156396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866903663412686,0.0,0.0,0.07753782537905153,0.0,0.08748425717491129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277806052402375,0.07019319918100578,0.1076292254722979,0.0,0.25551060042237045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437512137495891,0.11915551734284885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695319179369036,0.08787187656891847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410891615588612
mentalhealth,NotHenery,2018/03/04,"[USA] Does anyone have any idea what i'm going through? I'm going to try and see someone about this, but if there are any terminologies that can describe what i'm going through i'd prefer to use them as well

Symptoms are:

Consistency looking up after walking through a door way

Feeling like there are 1 or more 'beings' watching me once I turn the lights off (Size, Species, and even motive against me varies, but none the less prevents me from sleeping)

And [after turning the lights back on] contortion of the body, primarily putting hands near my face in a defensive manor -OR- tightly hugging what ever i'm using as a pillow that night

the last 2 things only happening at night, though, the first DOES sometimes get multiplied at night

If this is the wrong sub-reedit to post this, please direct me to the correct one, thank you",9.730357142857144,7.860928391025643,8.380915750915754,74.66884615384619,59.96153846153846,10.70915750915751,39.59340659340659,8.841846274778883,3.4488637362637355,663,27,120,7,7,202,109,156,0.032,0.847,0.12,0.919,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,2,8,6,1,0,11,0,7,6,4,3,2,20,24,12,0,3,6,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,9,3,0,3,4,0,0,5,1,2,1,2,0,8,8,4,22,23,3,23,0,0,3,1,2,7,0,4,10,78,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972892578681265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014281471076392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154089085383807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112708768048895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538830191905196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580964943885824,0.13121355129124956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334584293000422,0.1036296897163879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338652922692292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757869828893433,0.0,0.2473199510386575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827458950646828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16375318186055965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824188796675356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708681658699344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181245131327377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083822082793286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448237202368165,0.09829526885351456,0.110323385663945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923047043823316,0.0,0.0,0.13892576861359654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582367264891075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559269684531225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451630750755824,0.0,0.1229074401561783,0.0,0.14346638335368642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077113184398658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355020789242428,0.0,0.0,0.09637029935050306,0.0,0.14251905866884562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848507447885077,0.31556358586400884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505676209092764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514053908971013,0.0,0.0,0.13042484661300566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585984965763722,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dropsofclover,2018/03/04,"Weekly Cycles of Stress Lately I have been feeling major stress when a new week starts. It feels like I have no control over my own life when I have to go to school all week and do unmotivating cookie-cutter classwork. When I get to the weekend I feel so drained and emotionally stunted that I try my hardest not to leave my house for those two precious days. Those times where I do have to do things on weekends, I feel as if I wasted my stress-free time by being active. Please be honest - am I just normal for a teenager, or is this abnormal? ",6.279166666666665,5.911533027777778,6.398518518518523,81.24833333333333,65.94444444444444,8.311111111111114,30.037037037037038,7.1686216300943375,1.6596925925925925,429,13,85,3,6,137,77,108,0.126,0.723,0.151,0.228,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,2,3,0,12,1,0,1,1,13,19,9,0,2,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,4,14,3,12,16,3,18,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,15,62,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818526842192198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456624661236652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238456047305887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279294163244319,0.11583213957677227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471093954026025,0.0,0.09214733463364458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870866458134956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828998630883956,0.1716817982468136,0.0,0.0,0.11452357623672735,0.07921292925861148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659486409555035,0.0,0.0,0.15886180228338426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779799411457643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409333209279048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476282425321024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5571890569094289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771795221980217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908911868340192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008174321937636,0.0,0.15838625091163594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901743959743456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MelliBelli,2018/03/04,"Boyfriends brother has Schizophrenia. Hey everyone, I’m here to ask the thoughts of others. So my boyfriend and I have a 2 year old daughter.  My boyfriend has a brother who has battled a long time with depression, drug addiction and other various mental health issues.  Recently he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia (paranoid schizophrenia I believe, he laughs a lot audibly to things he’s hearing etc) He’s seems great with our daughter (his niece) but something feels uneasy about this.   I am not sure why. He’s never harmed her, but I do know his past behaviors. My daughter loves him and hand loves her. But I work part time at a home for people with mental health issues such as his. So I’m around this behavior regularly. I know everyone isn’t the same, and everyone’s diagnoses are unique to their situation. But I always think the worst when he is hanging around her. Am I being overbearing or is it normal for me to feel this way? ",3.956601680672272,6.591562811428576,4.135563025210087,83.74761344537819,75.17142857142858,7.546218487394959,29.15126050420168,8.4952907291091,2.4466336134453788,752,33,134,15,17,233,108,175,0.085,0.7909999999999999,0.124,0.8376,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,1,1,8,9,1,0,8,0,14,9,1,0,2,28,27,13,0,1,6,5,3,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,8,10,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,5,21,5,16,24,6,14,0,1,0,2,26,3,0,3,9,89,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392495317869865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628539190927597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274216909254574,0.11941457675434633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391311486049854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001759493290128,0.25929579235954503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813154406913326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245780672644007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36616755663194944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917286960725116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082781048039594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27155174204883825,0.1439661398818992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281281850135344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666434018335782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039915437338632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130410717572395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859536058500824,0.23057086666673954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574527990305766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851677225111316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515275452826555,0.0,0.0,0.13403594024776064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832408784888287,0.12193709716705176,0.08855506511135136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612247438031401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628475194326805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357900458549594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833630981810157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038831722539635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486117014084996,0.08184715250090549,0.0,0.10140697769095236,0.14896610585051287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013897533125186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526057840206327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299228570453363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225687286709261
mentalhealth,FoxyToot,2018/03/04,"I can’t seem to find anyone to help me. And I need help soon! I have been having cognitive problems for years that have gradually been getting worse. There are times now that I cannot even complete a sentence because I will get so confused in what I’m saying. Often times I can’t complete a full thought without trailing off or forgetting what I’m talking about. I’m only 21.
I also am frequently dizzy and when I’m at work I can be looking at my computer screen doing something and then suddenly I’m clicking from tab to tab and it’s like my mind has forgotten that I’m even supposed to be working to begin with.
I also have increasingly weird pms symptoms where I just want to grovel and I’m really needy for attention the week before my period.

I talked to my GP about this and he said he didn’t think it was psychiatric and ran tests for diabetes, thyroid, etc. Everything looked fine.
I talked to my therapist about this and she says more therapy should help but doesn’t think I need any medication.

The problem is the longer I sit on this the worse it is. I feel so disconnected from life because everything is turning into a blur. I need a fix or I’m going to lose my job and my relationships! ",3.1046607142857177,5.105213620833336,4.502142857142856,83.14000000000001,75.29166666666666,7.904761904761906,27.67857142857143,8.704169506293173,2.208107142857142,959,39,187,20,21,318,141,240,0.111,0.845,0.044,-0.9336,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,16,7,0,1,8,0,24,6,0,0,0,35,50,18,0,7,5,0,1,1,0,2,6,3,0,0,11,11,0,0,7,0,0,3,6,5,0,0,7,8,25,2,25,39,4,24,0,1,4,0,13,8,0,6,13,122,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212946667064293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168981165662947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399490497797203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645541142187085,0.0,0.10221839376880086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518996891296081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397226414550994,0.15868420414008727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21592303873313987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073932417297375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979300434690588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552177295720587,0.0,0.06827038443481577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415538135075334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920653729138325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848485591863947,0.05868750468142955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017512015147848,0.13439028729393887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101432541463256,0.0,0.0,0.12129303427971905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672157610996239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136124990883616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988875204336304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695580324628618,0.0,0.0,0.1289703876141215,0.0,0.0,0.11426735186711218,0.19105806231837336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935821533006354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247887761843704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485692831613543,0.0,0.2896582293524541,0.0,0.0,0.13737457087099145,0.13947556581482706,0.0,0.1539438039428134,0.0,0.09536664022561146,0.14009289445299905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306626127214308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085343787824379,0.0,0.09635784589138063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579719481508155,0.0,0.1749063438527619,0.0,0.2448373503491645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773572172193806
mentalhealth,Gandalf_Greenleaf,2018/03/04,"Strattera and it’s side effect Hello everyone,

I was hoping to get some insight from other folks who have used Strattera or atomoxetine for ADHD treatment. I was on 40mg for a month and moved on to 80mg for three months before I had to stop. I have had suicidal thoughts before.... but this was nothing like I have ever experienced. My thoughts felt tangible... doable. For about a week I told myself it was just a bout of depression due to my relationship ending but two and a half weeks into it I found myself becoming more and more accepting of my suicidal thoughts and even began planning. It was a version of me that I knew should not exist.

I quit without consulting my psychiatrist. I know that was stupid. I know I should have called him. (Called and left a message right before I came on here to let him know). But in about a week I noticed a massive change in my mental status. A month off of it and though my ADHD symptoms are raging full fledged again, but I am clear headed and much much happier/more accepting of my position in life. 

Has anyone else had experience with this? Would you mind telling me the steps you took after? I want to avoid stimulants. I am stupid when it comes to addictive drugs and I don’t want to have a problem with stimulants. Are there other options besides strattera? 

Thank you!",3.5611180124223623,5.858152365079366,4.369551414768806,83.24984472049692,74.95238095238095,7.39848171152519,26.82953761214631,8.321376580360154,1.9572082125603865,1044,40,194,19,23,335,141,252,0.15,0.773,0.076,-0.9732,0,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,3,10,11,3,1,11,0,24,5,1,4,2,52,44,16,2,7,8,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,13,14,0,2,13,0,0,5,3,6,0,3,19,2,34,5,32,21,7,31,0,1,0,0,14,12,0,4,15,146,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832840455414442,0.2608963168968321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589611839345993,0.11121561268682234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987773543222235,0.2770874965868742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221670038706828,0.1241448140371519,0.0,0.0,0.11482459952687935,0.0935005888120688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348833216336128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587596560580006,0.0,0.09067414167867473,0.0,0.0961372975281462,0.0,0.0,0.07169193862262528,0.09818378337384567,0.0,0.10371793767088534,0.0,0.10617634208981504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421875364949962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901231299186905,0.0,0.0,0.056709483413401575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113969156108095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780815764649844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895795832729408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793279838300524,0.11099305271687364,0.07666746328499248,0.05302885698467815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938628865154253,0.0,0.10959796302418308,0.0,0.2599150879641803,0.11536453142358795,0.1595838801015021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415038745856783,0.12357746068072364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386144223261842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544934184556024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653506614691465,0.0,0.09269553080695904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074720166278147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23745787900062734,0.0,0.0,0.11281822648897938,0.0,0.0,0.0948717775372058,0.09993224443820303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664340874309924,0.25851417366021257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371793767088534,0.12059578965062492,0.0,0.0,0.1060311987770533,0.0,0.0,0.09374670820870057,0.0,0.0,0.12804350242913226,0.0,0.2612010745828773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463203225982344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710616723828778,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,afuckingloudfart,2018/03/04,"What's wrong with me lol I've recently been told by some close people around me that I should possibly go to the doctors. I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me but I have been putting it off for a while. I convince myself into thinking I'm completely fine. Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world, I'm the absolute best ever, life feels like it's going in the right direction EVERYTHING is f**king fantastic, I get excited over absolutely everything I CANNOT shut up, I will talk about anything and everything I feel so great, I act like a lunatic! Then other times it's the complete opposite I want to die, life isn't worth living, I have a pit in my stomach, I don't know what to do with myself, I'm a crying mess and all my dreams and ambitions mean nothing anymore, I hate myself so much, life is meaningless all my relationships are doomed and I just want to die. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and depression when I was 15 or so? Could this be some form of ADHD as well as? God I'm so lost. Sorry I just wanted to vent. ",2.6684096893101628,4.442168639810426,4.41673775671406,84.27533307003691,75.87203791469193,8.290784623486044,26.4141653501843,8.998388855275968,2.144813375460769,817,31,167,19,18,276,126,211,0.205,0.5720000000000001,0.223,0.5354,0,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,0,3,11,17,1,0,9,1,17,6,1,0,4,34,38,16,2,5,5,0,3,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,9,12,0,0,6,1,1,4,4,7,1,0,6,3,26,10,24,28,7,23,1,3,0,0,3,13,0,3,9,111,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474109175017158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383293087301586,0.0,0.12164364276948515,0.0,0.0,0.10093697163565404,0.10919150468479144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12872186176035127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572088752417381,0.0,0.0,0.09793232431318499,0.0,0.13473390495677204,0.0,0.0,0.10564503925408683,0.1244951508845045,0.25459899704834377,0.0,0.0,0.12554552212216927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109510610427789,0.0,0.0,0.33071093967936943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860585057582464,0.175253606299336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640836718620566,0.0,0.1394185824799898,0.0,0.0,0.13523072900604985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109924759299215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740955473560019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599106320808413,0.17977331121780035,0.0,0.10830914184969473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338955488619289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361037319565114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016764385197758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176935294145818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503551941435103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827831292389095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330503249347295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110984397411295,0.1316886434133361,0.0,0.10474914638189983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131176467992688,0.1373054375407206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560358601519433,0.0,0.0,0.0985877455607932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859420708175782,0.0,0.0,0.07152278737643768,0.0,0.0,0.11720484624163452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170403599144188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028415110825296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682142400959699,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roofdawgy,2018/03/04,"Feeling unhealthily obsessed with time and the sense of slowly spiralling down. Hey I'm 18 living in the UK. I had a lot of issues last summer after getting hospitalised from use of drugs. I was never addicted but just had a really bad experience with psychedelics which has put me off for life. Also ended up losing my girlfriend at the time because of it all. 

After recovering I started working  a fast food job four or so days a week in about Novermber 2017 with so set schedule every week so I could earn some money. Its now March and I feel in a bit of a rutt. I'm quite different to a lot of the people I work with and my social anxiety makes it difficult to interact with my colleagues at work. Once im there I can deal with it and get through it but the time upcoming to any shift i just find to hard. I become obsessed with what time it is and cant focus or enjoy anything because im always checking the clock to see how much free time I have left. 

This has left me feeling very tired and unfocused in general finding it difficult to put any work into making progress in the career i want to purse which is fashion. 

I dont know if im just being lazy, stupid or I need help figuring out how I can overcome this and move forward. Any advice is much aprreciated, thanks a lot.",4.284573643410852,5.289729240310077,5.275968992248064,82.76573643410856,70.55038759689923,8.213953488372093,29.06201550387597,8.515128840125781,2.096959689922481,1016,38,200,16,18,334,153,258,0.154,0.772,0.07400000000000001,-0.9708,2,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,8,12,10,1,2,15,0,15,5,0,5,2,47,31,19,0,4,9,0,4,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,12,16,1,0,7,0,3,4,3,7,0,1,3,5,19,4,38,26,8,39,0,1,1,0,6,15,0,8,21,132,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028560767583094,0.0,0.09885800681954693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090221926348408,0.08417801398218988,0.0,0.0,0.20638855149376772,0.0,0.07739152714548211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325079806891046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446918133666083,0.12333941287087752,0.11172963033483307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044680486178986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077262497279189,0.0,0.0,0.06524354398296868,0.1042974532171529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569668395383597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185655136739462,0.0,0.11732016003195088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960283304886671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523651345341343,0.0,0.0,0.0989595224603409,0.0,0.0,0.15345733917790352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849273381161636,0.0,0.12233003484106306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570986506232573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062464722588914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780927438481679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278291328331547,0.10559076654186336,0.10039140361660907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559805429338168,0.08246359430834219,0.0,0.0,0.2198337818140631,0.0,0.07145636594365548,0.0,0.0,0.08933121680818187,0.0,0.0,0.11317860480167727,0.0,0.2580225264501652,0.0,0.0,0.13505785662606873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752318938320604,0.1487369432434782,0.07501312689392481,0.07802526841236271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077382294329839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013559789571132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033990557602297,0.0,0.1076022352298876,0.0,0.0,0.06480937438400636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061601029526196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312574908180322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160564344946578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313983692929703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294952832084878,0.1162751555023158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737473239296907,0.0,0.08347234439905339,0.059670184549293785,0.0,0.1622981359631835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945995036817042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rach827,2018/03/05,"How To Handle Narcissist Ex Mental health professionals, please help! How do you break free from the clutches of a dangerous narcissist sociopath ex?? I've tried everything. We have been separated for 2 years and divorced for 9 months,  but still I am harassed all day long,  every day. When I block him through 1 channel,  he finds another one to attack me. He Is blocked on all social media,  2 different cell numbers and multiple email addresses. He harrasses me through other people whenever he can, has tried to get me fired from my job. No contact has no affect,  it just infuriates him more,  launching more and more aggressive ridiculous smear campaigns and harassment. Restraining orders don't work. 

I have gone through a year of narcissistic abuse recovery. I am healed and strong,  which just makes him more angry. I don't know what to do. 

Any suggestions would be amazing! ",5.893667493796527,8.385651567741938,5.7322580645161345,75.20146401985114,68.80645161290322,9.672456575682382,33.858560794044664,10.035473477838034,3.9304739454094304,703,34,114,19,13,219,111,155,0.303,0.619,0.078,-0.9936,2,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,1,1,0,2,6,9,6,0,3,0,15,2,0,5,2,22,19,9,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,6,0,3,2,1,1,1,4,6,0,1,2,1,14,4,14,15,6,12,0,0,0,0,18,1,0,0,8,71,18,3,0.0,0.24313639104174264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395475969640651,0.2151771236146595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334522527543588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646826981733285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143973318201246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289550035499268,0.0,0.1844265556091726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755521171326486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721203432610396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181251326521518,0.0,0.0,0.13754572950569674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036359918583525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277623903601044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160147739177254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369770697566108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068000945842305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379403499734418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390533748230063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226449205366898,0.0,0.0,0.2252553408454265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918239454652124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638783405422536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786437665964973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939292601761442,0.0,0.0,0.14577295632271686,0.0,0.0,0.26429278148337365
mentalhealth,strungout_coffee,2018/03/05,"How long until I stop feeling so emotionally drained from therapy? I've had PTSD for 12 years, which brought on a world of depression and anxiety.

I've been in EMDR and CBT therapy for 2 months. Therapy is helping! I was so surprised. I feel so much better and for the first time in a very long time I feel like I can put my life back together.

However, I'm so emotionally drained. My therapist said this is normal, as for a very long period of time I've not only been ignoring my emotions but my PTSD has processed them in an unhealthier way than usual. So as I'm getting better, my brain starts reprocessing them again in a healthy way, especially the trauma's. 

But man---- I'm feeling TOO much! I was numb to my emotions for so long that feeling again is all new to me.

I'm so happy this is happening, but I'm so tired. I've been getting 10 hours of sleep of night, just to feel like I can recover.

I'm ""reprocessing"" the emotions over a breakup that happened 8 months ago, and it feels like the breakup has literally just happened.

When does it end, lol?",4.19778830963665,5.308706345971569,5.442919431279623,81.0938262243286,70.84834123222748,9.228562401263824,32.07614533965245,9.558583805096642,2.920595955766192,833,38,170,19,15,278,109,211,0.078,0.746,0.17600000000000002,0.967,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,3,16,11,0,0,10,1,14,5,2,1,1,22,35,20,0,1,6,0,7,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,7,4,0,2,7,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,8,8,16,7,23,27,3,36,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,28,98,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897620403749568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815644923422055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850756853338451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575923041754836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945805263417304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673628743956319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796651166901905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5010921966742421,0.07891058837044712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315339220073591,0.1909457065295044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578306971016102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309557928909927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23635583769601276,0.09484191786613902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059717640130427324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773936415386556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292952675226993,0.13058006869960548,0.0,0.0,0.31538054181716035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222750895478584,0.0,0.1309882657098989,0.0,0.0,0.08604726653836994,0.0,0.0836084175269621,0.0872929257469346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775978608698421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082915736469169,0.08956379289525218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474852661240598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915805887984896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306099107558591,0.0,0.0,0.07448633631588403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056592881105936,0.10344467171152083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585378762736654,0.10240012085944887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812414161890333,0.147023293462108,0.0,0.14143689031488008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057373432350148273
mentalhealth,olieolieoxenfree,2018/03/05,"Accessing support after maltreatment I'm a 19F who was diagnosed with OCD, Panic disorder with agoraphobia and depression about a year and a half ago. In high school seeking support meant getting hit and yelled at by my parents, but doing it without them involved meant school admin teams yelling at me and distrusting me (I refused to share the abuse with anyone bc I wanted my university savings which were under my parents account) after a suicide attempt I walked him after the doctors told my family I was just ""being bratty."" Now in my first year of Uni far away from my parents home, I've cut ties with them and Zoloft has been doing magic for my mental health. The past month though has been shit. I've completely relapsed in self harm and even though there are supports on campus I find myself in a position where I just cannot bring myself to tell the full story in detail. Last semester I went to a staff member about suicidal idealization and was scolded for it, and now I'm not really sure what to do. I feel like asking for help means getting hurt or yelled at and I don't know how to change that. The only person I feel comfortable talking to is my best friend and he is exhausted from worrying (he has little to know experience prior to me with mental illness and has been doing a ridiculous amount of research) 

TL;DR I really need support, but I'm terrified because of previous bad experiences. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated",8.66542542016807,8.119647128676473,8.55920168067227,68.30176470588239,61.16911764705882,11.447899159663866,37.443277310924366,10.7630783206399,4.156177731092436,1177,49,194,25,14,382,166,272,0.223,0.649,0.128,-0.9881,3,0,0,0,2,1,20.0,0,0,2,5,12,22,4,1,12,0,23,7,1,1,1,41,47,18,2,4,8,3,2,1,1,1,6,3,1,2,6,16,0,1,9,1,1,3,4,10,0,2,12,5,27,12,39,31,3,32,0,2,0,0,22,16,1,2,14,137,33,7,0.0,0.11921231811628705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918912359816572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684216478264146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035234493834902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406143966171768,0.0,0.0945311012150696,0.0,0.08400931935089066,0.06133396796592248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558923133027058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643732517971448,0.0,0.10549290950538408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665954901633682,0.10212210347543232,0.0,0.0,0.11531350281491308,0.10298371229680664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645525623761679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684154607934454,0.09485086415485927,0.0,0.10174793070269918,0.07187937357314005,0.0,0.0,0.0919602839679011,0.08558306458764423,0.0,0.0,0.07773489667685575,0.0,0.10513436583652752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694903626508667,0.0,0.0,0.06744011125243184,0.10630526790409148,0.10092504509234727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077104346767198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059074148724313,0.08201465101763789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491554050094074,0.10084265895850612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959922743927296,0.0,0.0,0.2027925030590833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030993024940188,0.0,0.0,0.07460474498532334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652223869139181,0.0,0.11805001963096155,0.335163139752349,0.0,0.09604839894293886,0.0,0.08785313400545154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289130862499408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036554959867847,0.0,0.0,0.10496338462064883,0.0,0.10327984798738143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011295129976555,0.4567068225537538,0.09482844343172027,0.0,0.0,0.08087052292429524,0.08794194168943116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977074463387149,0.0798770683831737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961419408761896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059345331755364786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327110973471472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969892661306099,0.0,0.0,0.1021794128708505,0.0,0.07147400669820679,0.0,0.0,0.12958551785292
mentalhealth,pearlofkelly,2018/03/05,"Randomly lashing out and getting upset I notice I’ve always struggled with my emotions. Recently I have gone through a lot and I’ve been married for 6 months. My husband is starting to notice an angry side to me too. I get so upset over small things sometimes. I’ll be up and having a great day and then down to a low and in tears. For example we are about to move across the country which isn’t easy for me. He wants me to get rid of everything it seems like. I was getting frustrated that he wanted me to get rid of a sign that my mom gave me.  I threw it to the charity pile and it broke. I broke down in tears. I wasn’t actually going to give it away I was just putting it their so he’d be quiet about it. For me to get that upset over a sign though doesn’t feel normal. Maybe it’s a girl thing? I know we tend to get emotional over small things and we have hormones that can be crazy. I will be so happy and energized to super unhappy, sad, and angry. My husband is probably questioning who he married! I used to never be THIS emotional. I’ve been doing A LOT of crying lately and I don’t know what’s wrong with me !!! ",1.1633585114222562,3.1159849194915274,3.161739130434782,90.67021739130436,81.16101694915254,6.307737656595433,22.125276344878408,7.423996415210882,0.7988377302873984,875,28,191,13,23,295,122,236,0.191,0.701,0.108,-0.9521,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,1,1,8,15,1,4,10,0,23,0,0,1,1,32,44,15,0,3,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,18,16,0,0,5,0,0,5,5,10,0,0,8,2,28,5,35,29,2,27,0,4,0,0,16,15,0,5,8,133,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.11999210913363853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102313325862013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155258209321348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350667839198212,0.07929961352300838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149434151067688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050933577539544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217272977616306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4496939967761434,0.11795530751855687,0.0698815177971507,0.0,0.0,0.13556483544242426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308941732873537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515219894392352,0.0,0.13870526031299296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600724887785195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907393415119116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353075941256875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401032963902402,0.09814622385447902,0.1306879860032629,0.0,0.0,0.09483503274660436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047558301811588,0.0,0.2799836180578299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257265601654467,0.0,0.0,0.1236096748280682,0.1377443581726043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140906278833853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193899278755533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216114823675072,0.0,0.0870323637399472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854543898466514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24506929120787554,0.0,0.12080846805492915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619874530800218,0.0,0.0,0.14505105899338605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443845045122235,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CaptainSamuraiCowboy,2018/03/05,"I think theirs something very wrong with me and I can’t tell if it’s psychological. Hello all, for the past few years now I’ve been struggling with sudden bouts of violent nausea and vomiting which occurs on a daily bases. It comes seemingly at random and has gotten to the point where I am now suffering from anxiety/panic attacks. I’ve noticed that certain triggers will cause me to become nauseous or vomit such as certain smells or they way some things look, dirty dishes that have collected water is a perfect example. It’s extremely violent to the point where I have actually painted the bathroom door with my own vomit, the entire door was literally covered. I’ve actually had to throw out rugs and towels because they get covered and I can’t clean them properly. I’ve also been seeing auras before migraines since I was a kid. Usually the migraine that I get afterwards is so painful that it’s practically debilitating. What am I to do? I can’t seem to find anything online similar to what I’m going through and I can’t afford to see a doctor to get something like a CT scan. Any advice would be appreciated.",5.256933962264154,7.0110307783018895,6.442594339622643,72.4720990566038,69.04716981132076,9.073584905660377,32.117924528301884,9.516144504307137,3.2839377358490562,903,40,151,20,16,303,136,212,0.125,0.7979999999999999,0.077,-0.9049,2,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,4,1,7,11,3,1,11,0,20,9,0,2,4,27,33,12,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,4,1,12,11,2,0,4,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,6,5,17,4,20,24,4,18,0,1,4,0,7,7,0,7,8,100,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.3058209540687933,0.0,0.0,0.15311929934746907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530791918445408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655710958496407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289455885318205,0.0,0.0,0.17826173879589458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551904336484544,0.17305591386694494,0.13333482310137246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096762387568342,0.0,0.1349777736927512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603826722284931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321523037697256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24559801972345185,0.0,0.08905265770725912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655264152025594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158326878676574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783968500435212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673317633675316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958189544905898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962524452787693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497292310400526,0.2852961733813962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961867259675422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412609772710269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381030834160695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695722648318864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041003515304557,0.1004030151006558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257600595497527,0.12928873745759653,0.0,0.12437618929718965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131072995405188,0.17131999544542184,0.0,0.10090562464608717
mentalhealth,Hexodus,2018/03/05,"What mental illness might this be? In my line of work, I work with a different crop of people every day. Yesterday there was a guy, probably in his upper 30s, who just wouldn't stop talking to himself. We worked together for 12 hours and the entire time, he was muttering his thoughts aloud under his breath. I got close to him to try and hear, and it sounded like he was literally speaking his thoughts out loud. I don't know if he was conscious of it, because when people talked to him, he was completely normal, but then he'd go back to muttering to himself. 

I heard him say things like ""She's attractive. Definitely attractive"" and ""What the fuck is this guy looking at"", and ""He's such a piece of shit."" And a ton more mundane things like ""Getting hungry, had to wake up too early for breakfast"". But despite all this, he outwardly seemed completely normal.

What mental illness might this be? Idk if he was schizophrenic, he didn't seem to be talking to someone who wasn't there. It was more like he had no choice but to speak his inner thoughts out loud. I've tried Googling this but came up with nothing.

Anybody have any insight? ",3.6848581130244966,5.83250694009217,4.035639097744362,86.47120300751881,74.06912442396313,7.149066213921902,28.47174387581857,8.032893268588372,1.9176414746543773,894,37,171,14,19,279,124,217,0.064,0.8270000000000001,0.109,0.8802,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,0,3,7,8,2,0,6,0,21,8,3,0,1,35,35,14,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,3,3,8,0,2,15,13,1,1,8,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,17,9,18,6,26,11,5,23,0,0,1,1,34,12,2,6,13,111,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405120730567177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950396047055117,0.0,0.07534448847917087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136373836974794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591813172524157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971079695524884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129134108896455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041370532972882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426480656442164,0.0645751064070753,0.0,0.07024386662914933,0.0,0.09885299837132908,0.0,0.0,0.2447638620275567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930447402236892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171960945063726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792649427571755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415359037900832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037915972555151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24911640184255804,0.26223691825181866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422005432154077,0.11859607860377312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137525222907568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326007020811953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829047513808492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503883509785325,0.0,0.0,0.1268720673858777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472459416803716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333386676792754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298031338172649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422668109447836,0.0,0.0,0.2943701699793715,0.07207126981278228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678305144635804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699435046081272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Makeupch1c3,2018/03/05,"Am I manic? Okay so this morning I couldn’t find my glasses & I can’t fuckin see so I hate it. I tore up my whole room in a frenzy, cussing out loud & cussing out ppl, I started throwing things around the room & in the midst of it all I started to cry & howl. Like I fell in the middle of the flooor surrounded by the mess I made & just howled plus I think I was having an anxiety attack since I couldn’t breath. Other times when I have no self control too, like when I’m home & a shirt isn’t cooperating w me, I’ll take off & rip it I’m half out of anger only to realize what I did moments later. Also if my makeup isn’t turning out right I’ll just get an impulse & stab my makeup with the brush until some damage is done. Then I usually cry afterwards & realize I have a problem. What is it? Also I’ve dealt with depression.. it wasn’t declared by a profession but I know what I felt. Any ideas ? Also, could I be bipolar? Also I’m 16 & female.",0.8557246376811598,2.7011397294686006,3.0397367149758487,91.70366304347827,81.65700483091787,5.879130434782609,21.46111111111111,6.961326702584282,0.4682253140096622,752,23,169,9,20,256,118,207,0.135,0.8390000000000001,0.027000000000000003,-0.944,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,12,11,4,0,12,1,17,4,2,2,1,27,31,13,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,1,11,8,0,1,7,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,6,4,24,3,21,21,3,28,0,2,1,1,1,15,1,2,13,104,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25388324184238925,0.0,0.8599553293180314,0.0,0.05397317384020064,0.0,0.06071654146728937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065462477178591,0.0,0.09029291292305183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890183107734758,0.06336913890280592,0.0,0.17436472784652654,0.0,0.0,0.06835981085749937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122133930269088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762060261684314,0.0,0.07254119932314161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04146666723278988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835977646363727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796128882692066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959716354504939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361874863457554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755069642546608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510021589442524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603631777768636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594475569424493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778010481807059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324626884308017,0.0,0.08279845903972853,0.0,0.0,0.06565428788608807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235459953177132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059675093143132386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272877982392372,0.05085600960100227,0.0,0.0,0.04628030101153361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632993231116445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741298263752563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861188598291031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,guppyboi38,2018/03/05,"Loving yourself and finding inner happiness as a non neurotypical I posted this on r/advice but all I got was somebody saying I need spirituality to solve my issues. I'd hope people here can give more realistic answers

I'm a 22 year old high functioning autistic male with 2 other developmental disorders. Obviously, I'm socially stunted and a tad confused when it comes to learning. I need to find a way to love myself and find inner happiness with no friends or significant other.

I currently have no friends, nor have I ever been intimate with someone. I had a friend but I kinda weirded her out by Not knowing how to do a lot of basic things properly ( being taught to hug was very awkard) and I'm a bit of a mess emotionally. We ended on good terms. I've had online friends that I've driven off from being emotionally needy because they were my only contact of that sort.

I work 40 hours a week and volunteer. People at work all say I'm ""nice but extremely weird"" and I couldn't get answers on how to be less weird. I guess I might not know how lol. I've asked out 13 girls since I was 17, and have been ghosted by people I thought I could make my friends about 7 times. No doubt it hurts a lot but it's not their fault. Plus who wants to teach a grown ass man how to be a friend or how to do simple touches lol.

After attending many sessions with my psychologist and therapist it's been decided that I'm not healthy enough to form and maintain healthy connections with others. I need to be able to stop trying to place my happiness in the contact of others and love myself. The idea is alien to me, as I've only had a dislike of myself since I can remember: it's even in my child psychology folder. I'm doing self esteem exercises to try and maybe help out. I know I'm probably years of training off from something like intimacy and relationships, but I keep stupidly craving friendship-esque contact. 

I understand my behavior is toxic, but every time I try to create non toxic connections: they turn toxic from my end.  Therefore it's obvious I need a lot of work.

Can any of you relate, and would you mind giving advice on how to love myself and find inner happiness?

I need to achieve these as I can not love anyone until I love myself; and I shouldn't try to have friends until I'm happy. Who wants to hang with a downer who can't socialize properly?

",4.837689516129032,5.884803561290326,6.1150369623655925,77.1025554435484,69.3010752688172,8.995295698924732,30.2301747311828,9.271962702966755,2.6621303763440856,1876,73,351,37,32,632,233,465,0.107,0.6679999999999999,0.224,0.9971,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,1,2,3,5,11,32,1,2,17,2,34,9,1,8,5,92,73,37,1,12,13,0,1,1,7,3,1,2,0,5,19,27,0,2,15,1,0,5,12,9,0,0,14,3,47,23,60,49,11,41,0,1,0,8,40,17,1,12,18,228,66,8,0.06833647082769741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355521679246804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647114352026939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778244930481432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388537547842184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165727834037385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460572715307433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058865818693409684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456111136667655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783195159627248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373866368729047,0.1210516596283886,0.07060984185511965,0.0,0.04513559448508822,0.06181425020044139,0.057576424000154273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498331852678502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695761149187366,0.0,0.035702985523651885,0.1311091394092389,0.0,0.05731738952837436,0.05465491837632413,0.0,0.07528032693855254,0.0,0.0,0.3637272195379778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580449592482317,0.0722012333620611,0.0,0.06787353472655515,0.06729765843149291,0.0,0.07315560538955727,0.07714355762065299,0.0,0.0713255211716096,0.0,0.06074059514282828,0.0,0.0,0.11266781164139035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03338574783794185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429167128715767,0.3700579977356993,0.0,0.04561512491888045,0.06928245558606842,0.06865316999238738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249419642524918,0.06900035499793374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533531361522993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170763070195983,0.0,0.0,0.1039459308475507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212771352343795,0.0,0.07139706733854741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544744910766072,0.0,0.0736782735986329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733677954586669,0.07741190004893662,0.0,0.0,0.10868780885457163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128984270379286,0.0,0.0,0.11305726967655162,0.0,0.0,0.1393208523882822,0.057901269972078284,0.05260875386105812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713234951656326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934390966398559,0.045399714719410234,0.0,0.0,0.054251524579327734,0.07969509137394289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558391187300405,0.07433045694895069,0.0,0.07114067614671665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638474520703585,0.08061324206216718,0.05424230974213171,0.05481539490560145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492492939380095,0.0,0.0,0.048544268206863986,0.0,0.0,0.08801289342766531
mentalhealth,Drakkarim,2018/03/05,"Chronic Health (Gerd) - Causing mental breakdowns, not sure where to start mentally I have GERD, but when it first started popping up, all I knew is that I was having severe chest pains and it scared the crap out of me, multiple ER and doctor visits to find out my stomach is attacking me.  I'm on the road to managing that, it will just take time.

Mentally though, since that first day of the 'DOOM' feeling of chest pains, I can no longer be me.  Every little pain freaks me out, every trip to see friends or go somewhere, do something...actually live a life, is making me think that I'm just gonna have a massive heart attack in public.  I can't get the idea out of my head and it's literally destroying my life.

I have a good path (That will take time) to battle the Chronic Illness, but no idea how to get my head straight and stop worrying that I'm a minute away from death.",5.758103448275862,5.578882396551727,5.979908045977013,83.18089655172416,66.98850574712644,9.028965517241383,30.618390804597702,8.548686976883017,2.099739770114942,683,23,141,9,10,218,107,174,0.295,0.647,0.058,-0.9941,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,6,14,5,1,9,0,14,17,7,3,2,26,30,10,1,0,6,0,1,0,1,3,10,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,11,1,2,2,2,15,3,19,24,1,24,1,1,1,0,3,12,1,1,9,86,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785187592894528,0.1150084994713082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257490900471884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789445120263931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529212152404862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062719021875132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061894321995704375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118807898581605,0.20824426483697692,0.0,0.0,0.0945738884710799,0.0,0.12790865125137316,0.0,0.06956859027514814,0.10267194578121724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512565513156208,0.13011641695325282,0.0,0.1450567862058827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763726412026125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172924019641662,0.0,0.12268727160099782,0.10809053109510372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170982089399383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37008235143363344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907595459298711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225540576187856,0.0,0.09754515475026096,0.0,0.0,0.13828878802147576,0.0,0.10125905905621403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328527039946226,0.0,0.0,0.10234048584878926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153702521826054,0.0,0.1840746118897722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784355728370099,0.12026749104502665,0.0,0.14275685211595315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431359415140752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Black-Blitz,2018/03/05,This is actually for a friend. They’re in a rough spot and can’t get proper therapy. Please give any advice you think is helpful. “My mental breakdowns always happen at a specific time every day and today it didnt happen when it usually does and I know it's coming and I can't stay ready for it what do I do?”,0.8934725274725288,3.0849296000000024,3.462197802197803,86.77923076923078,83.76923076923076,6.175824175824177,18.516483516483518,7.447530270364453,0.5501868131868131,244,6,50,4,7,85,50,65,0.035,0.828,0.13699999999999998,0.7343,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,14,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,4,13,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.22451904823540247,0.0,0.0,0.22482566284998368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144000976559208,0.0,0.0,0.15645821849963867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981883901625199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483787049179374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133931932781451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19384727906931773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777546118177384,0.0,0.12020417590353676,0.22070795796151496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40690737995212173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542137612461801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264426606586949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318604912454161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525521764826933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452282856705941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631096851584356,0.0,0.0,0.1474221376295435,0.0,0.0,0.13415800725986465,0.0,0.2180832625950321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533940208463432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YamunaVargr,2018/03/05,"I suddenly don't like music, and can't figure out why. No amount of Google searching has led me anywhere that can explain it. Music has always been a huge part of my life. I would listen to music basically 24/7. I'd have an earbud in during class, listen to music while I slept, everything. I even play guitar, and used to book bands and shows in town. 
About a year ago, I woke up and turned on my favorite album, and it just irritated me. I sat in silence for a long time, and realized that I didn't want to listen to music. It irritated me. I thought it pretentious that people thought anyone else wanted to hear them.
I got by a little bit by listening to classical music, like Vivaldi. But even that didn't really make me feel anything or enjoy myself. It was just a way to deal with the habit of always having something playing.
I started enjoying music again about two months later, and it seemed I was back to normal. But about 6 months ago, I suddenly hated music again. I've kind of enjoyed it while drunk, but otherwise just the thought of listening to music irritates me. I don't actually think it's pretentious, I just use that as a way to justify my irrational hatred of hearing anything. 
It really sucks. One of the things that really brought my boyfriend and I together was our shared love of music, particularly certain genres. And now he feels bad when he wants to listen to music because I can only say, ""Oh no.... music seems horrible...""

I don't know what's up. But it's really, really sad and I miss what was always a huge part of my life and my personality. 

I've been diagnosed with PTSD, so maybe having a super long episode can be blamed? But the incident happened over 6 years ago, and this was never a problem before. 

Any insight, suggestions, or similar experiences are welcome. I'll probably bring it up at my next therapy session.",4.482875816993463,6.057362535014009,5.96106442577031,75.87494864612512,70.70868347338936,9.21045751633987,28.628384687208207,9.633347757342033,2.831161718020541,1463,55,262,35,27,496,190,357,0.125,0.7659999999999999,0.109,-0.7038,0,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,1,0,1,1,15,19,2,0,14,0,24,6,1,4,2,51,61,24,0,6,11,0,2,2,0,1,3,9,0,1,21,15,1,0,13,7,0,3,9,6,0,2,17,11,33,13,41,42,4,42,0,2,0,1,21,14,1,4,25,173,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.09712105176418577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646660203406252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484357818765493,0.0,0.0,0.06767972186441715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958948358006102,0.10197408269014943,0.1637995174882001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652780035842667,0.08309836942413228,0.0606688968278861,0.0,0.08468757999809245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086544139162469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260485730164816,0.0,0.10101474867955786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313951789697854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146930544558216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944573937203296,0.09735355339446224,0.0,0.0,0.1006446332264477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795984216015392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800873026622733,0.0,0.0,0.09825932957210652,0.0,0.0,0.22434152604174776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363891405263986,0.054695778765991215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059346618326302,0.09724478275090967,0.0997491777411583,0.0,0.17615118780164152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982428113169175,0.0,0.06643303205943095,0.0,0.09998521874480423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887818884513644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675903183086191,0.0,0.10584488593634828,0.0,0.0975123732644076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744002718121378,0.07569247446678055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155495520113808,0.0,0.06899739918742072,0.08690050390909887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730368755464184,0.09523101157003408,0.11633821127826187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187880626689375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914546658532175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120579413839527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661842509636085,0.0,0.0,0.07044358804071757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381434917334438,0.0,0.0661193125921976,0.063770950270972,0.0,0.2370327788026986,0.05803323535384027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825351543513843,0.0972204708548806,0.0,0.0,0.17191353522860284,0.0,0.0,0.17610547281809544,0.15799501189506165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898049154904947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069898266908793,0.0,0.0,0.1281803651995101
mentalhealth,throwaway173958262,2018/03/05,"I stopped taking my antidepressants because I couldn’t cum I know this sounds crazy and I’m using a throwaway for that exact reason. 
I’ve started to take cipralex around a a month and a half ago and after three weeks I showed really harsh signs of depression so I was prescribed a low dose of zyprexa and 50 mg of lustral, after two days, (I’m 17) my parents looked online about zyprexa and since they were scared that bipolar and schizophrenic people take them (although at small dosages it is used to calm down depressed people, and they were told that). 

And they looked online for bad stories about the side affect and ofc if you look for something online that will back your opinion you eventually will, and they decided to take away those meds and transfer me to a different psychiatric (which they haven’t found me one) and told me to keep taking lustral (which is more similar to the earlier medication that I was taking)

Ever since I’ve started to take these meds it went from very hard to cum, to impossible and it has been frustrating me a lot I though to myself that maybe it was because I get less turned on by porn, but because I’m a forgetful person I missed two days of taking meds, then decided to just miss another day and see if I can finally get the job done, and i did, it felt so good to finally have that release after I have failed so many times after long frustrating sessions.

Then after a few days of continuing taking them regularly I decided to stop taking them for a while (about 1,5~ weeks now) and it’s great, I actually feel more chilled out although I sometimes have headaches and sleepy. I know this is not something I should have decided to do on my own, but can I continue doing this until I see my name psychiatrist? ",8.077352941176471,7.2015996904761925,7.675973389355741,75.23275210084036,62.51190476190477,11.001120448179273,35.83613445378151,10.194018383442646,3.4518909663865562,1400,54,263,26,17,443,175,336,0.113,0.8490000000000001,0.038,-0.9514,4,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,8,1,12,13,2,1,13,0,25,5,0,4,2,50,61,31,0,4,6,1,3,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,20,19,0,3,10,1,0,1,3,10,0,5,13,9,39,3,41,44,6,41,0,6,5,1,16,10,0,4,30,184,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.07909863728432194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718509570072014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499393284022165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215672725515737,0.0,0.0,0.07615446609666046,0.0623268036410452,0.06767809514622519,0.1482323444029625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090967951853402,0.0,0.13962625215804533,0.0,0.0,0.08468591881763092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829480879177093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331949013290956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098418001856954,0.0,0.0778261502795594,0.1775850395678149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887335370727327,0.0,0.0,0.08469647973819848,0.0,0.0,0.06798564671321967,0.0,0.08936415756494964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260995549491465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043524109401003,0.0720459999401538,0.0,0.0,0.08909214813898955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173171345464438,0.20419903434298825,0.0,0.0,0.06891062838395917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217772281075435,0.08143131079852302,0.0,0.2701037156393596,0.08165505568509249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646978590304232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492541680256752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000272444744573,0.0,0.0,0.11238758544622553,0.07077468080988547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519263349841944,0.08333872412213307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115086162189558,0.0,0.12918174247070285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410016851493625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480122292555045,0.08016612594652273,0.0,0.1147432347204798,0.0,0.0,0.13553233188355293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6094377309006089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963677998949828,0.0,0.04726421049099296,0.0,0.0,0.15490432424489184,0.0,0.0,0.08816528854060796,0.1583592150429522,0.0,0.0,0.1400121407285581,0.0,0.06687941302286256,0.0,0.0,0.13003593161384291,0.0,0.0,0.07513941414826032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlugEmperorEm,2018/03/05,"Dangerous weather but told to 'try harder'; boss has set my anxiety off I live in a part of Canada that is being pummelled by a snow storm. We got over 35 centimeters of snow (about 14 inches) overnight and it's still snowing! Visibility is almost non existent. Yet my boss made me feel like a deliquent, lazy employee because I didn't call a cab or get a bus (my car wheels are still deep in snow, even after digging it out last night and this morning). Cab fare to my work would be about half of my wages today. The buses are not running properly or on time because of the snow.  I have felt anxious all day because I don't feel safe trying to get to work; I just don't think it's worth the risk today. The city map shows accidents everywhere. But I also don't want to get written up or fired. I'm anxious and panicky. This snow day sucks. My boss has a truck, and even with that I'm not sure if or how he even made it to work today. I feel guilty but I know I shouldn't. I wish I wasn't so poor or I would stop working there and be done with this.",2.129520202020202,3.560593840909096,3.5512121212121213,91.37126262626265,76.5,6.707070707070707,23.58585858585859,7.3871296695380915,0.7870555555555551,815,25,184,10,18,268,129,220,0.21,0.759,0.03,-0.9891,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,4,13,6,2,1,10,0,19,0,0,6,2,43,38,17,0,6,12,0,5,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,2,6,1,3,2,8,3,0,1,9,5,20,3,23,23,2,26,0,0,0,0,4,10,1,7,14,111,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851973389381902,0.0,0.0,0.10263805371755187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981841510993834,0.2899883414413089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347151425321838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310553655332952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554478809136716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134226782146305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543134816989404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468640990672292,0.09169023285061974,0.12323205187890734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116607877107995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026498246954257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705354702887754,0.10461892021523676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270325278493093,0.0,0.11333165286296235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24288771286312705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044379646946055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389859452107398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499417109664356,0.10730279792812747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096435495878265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822387772805963,0.0,0.0,0.07483944173416741,0.0,0.36497030533325703,0.1226398688168652,0.0,0.17427668530109364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757016514857333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759128392652027,0.0,0.0,0.3737489522453021,0.0,0.0,0.18234628353450874,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hey_Hair_Guy,2018/03/05,"Lost and confused Hi, I’m new here and not really sure where to start. So I’m just gonna talk, try to keep it formatted decently but no promises, here it goes.
      I’m a 27 year old male living in the New England region of the US, I have a fiancé and three-year-old daughter as well.
      I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, ADD, OCD and PTSD. I’ve been to counseling most of my life, and have been see a psychiatrist for awhile now. 
     I’ll just get straight to it, my life is falling apart, I’ve lost all my friends, to my illness or otherwise, I got hurt at work a year ago and have been trying to get surgery and rehab for my knee/leg, I’m now a forced stay at home dad and my depression and mood swings are getting out of hand.
     My girl and I, we can call her “J”, have been fighting a lot more lately. She tries really hard to be supportive and help me with what’s going on and I always appreciate her trying to help but sometimes I just push her away because sometimes I don’t know what I need for help. 
      A great example was yesterday I couldn’t get out of bed I woke up multiple times between 8 and 11 AM and every time I did I wanted to get out of bed and I couldn’t I didn’t have the will or the want to. So when I finally made it out of bed around noon time J was already visibly upset that I had wasted her day off and had totally blown off the plans that we had made the night before.
     This turned into a full fledge argument about what’s going on with me mentally, how I can get help what she can do to help and just ways to improve our life in general. Things started to get heated with name calling and agitated people and one thing led to another and I put a hole in my bedroom door. As a disclaimer, I have been known to break things in the past when under extreme fits of rage or anger, but it has been over a year since I’ve lost my cool and even attempted to break anything, so yesterday was a very low point for me for that.
      I’m not really sure what I was hoping to accomplish with this message as it’s just an echo on the Internet I would appreciate any advice anyone has the offer. I’m really just looking for somebody who can help me examine or see things from my point view. ",4.0308519269776895,4.235174409586058,5.236353391931483,85.71117647058824,70.69934640522875,8.945413567725941,27.37442716550221,8.939507131559953,1.8122656599804667,1710,53,382,30,29,570,228,459,0.13699999999999998,0.7240000000000001,0.138,0.3845,0,0,0,0,2,0,36.0,4,0,0,7,22,21,3,2,22,1,39,8,1,4,4,74,75,37,0,7,15,2,2,0,1,3,7,0,6,2,21,35,0,1,3,0,0,6,7,11,1,1,23,7,45,9,62,46,6,63,0,6,4,0,30,29,0,8,24,246,66,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965986694858497,0.07226207734183193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995874456531308,0.0,0.06783071609017599,0.0,0.0,0.05543602412065459,0.08548025529946647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700029763739903,0.0,0.06708356470951672,0.07256959716101,0.0,0.0,0.07659021046095793,0.0,0.0,0.049693502503774835,0.0,0.06936705113681024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648095384904107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525733038743584,0.0,0.07021258625256405,0.08274052980832321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053842830518772866,0.0,0.06868365587477769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930057718448724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298172791931986,0.0,0.29813385075486354,0.0,0.09265876861518434,0.0,0.06519855428349375,0.0898754857906599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302541870436899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32784462983770396,0.0,0.08177065902171354,0.08096721154740344,0.0,0.0,0.08726826150012236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245823628101726,0.0,0.0,0.04480095998390357,0.0,0.0919574948154214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727388034666148,0.0,0.0,0.07198317136096573,0.0,0.06845581013551646,0.0,0.2669643413362329,0.06930492460186444,0.0,0.15427135680832693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215243602136116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044564218935724,0.0,0.15746399324780935,0.0,0.07650048527139991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108190778627916,0.0,0.0552396917499886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781954293265997,0.05651532512616996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412446683514547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529187929429556,0.08194956706391934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20889379855189105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992090090929378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743373472261326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612496488463488,0.0,0.11539977819630495,0.08688889142332415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250731031569527,0.1536622412468561,0.0,0.0,0.06552224919889224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21663161175780532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260394751562355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138543267199656,0.08866975701865451,0.0,0.0,0.09805786590004137,0.0,0.0,0.06726208693295531,0.09616457209522444,0.06470634814297765,0.0,0.0,0.07329577921170084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059347133382026435,0.0,0.0,0.05790908119275043,0.0,0.0,0.20998342254506985
mentalhealth,NossyOnThe,2018/03/05,"The only thing im looking forward to in life is getting fucked up. I have nothing else, idk The only thing I look forward to is getting fucked up on LSD, MDMA and, well, anything I can get my hands on. I also play an unbelievable amount of PC games to escape. The idea of working kills me and schooling is hell. I don't know what I am to do...
- I don't want to work for someone else
- I want to be constantly fucked up 
- The only thing I look forward to is being out of a sober mental state",2.155558252427184,3.3083793495145635,3.980764563106799,89.45425364077671,75.89320388349516,5.926699029126214,25.496359223300967,5.985473137389443,0.6871174757281553,375,13,82,2,8,127,61,103,0.214,0.7020000000000001,0.084,-0.9549,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,5,0,6,0,12,5,1,0,0,7,24,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,2,0,3,2,5,1,0,0,4,11,2,18,22,1,12,1,0,3,3,1,10,4,0,4,55,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137034295710758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248937050808096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400935649282866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535685718252241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209265112681565,0.2378805432044864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132975597022748,0.16393754767800356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791091988774834,0.0,0.08340877393435571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071995764764458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823455029181029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294837357780408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562732281767968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462835688843279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359925249447992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859415303950905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30248755504291425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903565140716765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136459376781384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098060549113227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notaspike,2018/03/05,"A few questions for a mental health professional? A series of questions for mental health professionals! 

How is it possible that I can relate to symptoms from multiple mental disorders?! 

I have Aspergers/HF Autism, but also align with the descriptions that would indicate:
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, 
Avoidant (Anxious) Personality Disorder, 
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, 
Borderline Personality Disorder and 
Schizoid Personality Disorder. 

I fit at least 4 of each criteria according to the DSM-V. 

How?! What do I do? Is it important? How can I identify which symptoms are linked with which condition / is it mental health or just the Aspergers/Autism? 

Any help would be greatly appreciated! 


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mentalhealth,MrsScienceMan,2018/03/05,Please help. My brain wants me to die. I'm scared. I don't want to die but I keep wanting to kill myself. I can't make it stop. I'm a burden on everyone and I need to die. ,-4.048231707317072,-3.0739128048780446,-0.35222560975609696,106.71605182926832,116.07317073170731,3.025609756097561,10.003048780487807,5.148860815047168,-1.8644414634146345,129,2,37,1,8,46,29,41,0.46,0.4270000000000001,0.113,-0.9632,0,0,0,0,0,3,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,2,1,1,1,0,9,10,2,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,18,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241602151346828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6738457105342678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068035978391471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450652807564582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192368703329263,0.2394424693095608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446553268392615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047657804938226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375699294995568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21667942754939828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094119704971606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829596535118431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsJonesey94,2018/03/05,"How can I learn to worry less and like myself more? I’ve been struggling with feelings of self-worthlessness/even self-loathing on-and-off for quite a long time now (maybe a year or so).

I’m super critical of myself about absolutely everything - even when I do a nice thing for someone, I still have a little voice in my head that tells me I’m an arsehole and makes me obsess/worry about little things all the time. When I achieve something, no matter how big or small, my brain only lets me feel good about that thing for a little bit before I immediately downplay that achievement in my head and tell myself that it wasn’t that impressive or that I don’t really deserve to feel good about it. I struggle to be entirely comfortable with any one decision I make because whatever I choose, my brain automatically starts wondering if I should have done the opposite. This gets in the way of me feeling comfortable with just trying new things for the hell of it because I’m constantly worried that I’m going to mess up.

The really annoying thing is that, on a conscious level, I know that I have no reason to think like this. I’m engaged to an absolutely wonderful woman whom I love with all my heart, I have lots of great friends, loving parents and family, and generally don’t have anyone outside of myself putting me down or making me feel worthless at all. I’m pretty sure that no one I know and spend time with regularly thinks I’m shitty at all, BUT that doesn’t stop me from constantly having shitty annoying niggling thoughts telling me that actually no one really likes me and I don’t deserve to feel good about stuff. I’m terrified of other people seeing me fail at stuff even when I know that really it doesn’t matter and no one who saw me fail would care or judge me at all. 

It’s never gotten to any kind of suicide/self-harming type of point or anything like that, it’s just a constant but very present nagging feeling that I am really keen to get rid of because I think that it’s holding me back in my everyday life. How can I shut the little voice up and just get on with stuff without worrying all the time?

Thanks!",8.767712987504733,6.84991082494005,8.646212293323233,72.16417644831506,61.853717026378895,11.944414994320333,36.81547393664016,10.65788864234165,3.721410551558753,1702,62,323,33,19,554,194,417,0.107,0.7509999999999999,0.142,0.9181,1,0,1,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,0,6,20,32,4,2,16,0,23,8,5,7,8,71,62,25,0,3,13,1,7,4,1,2,1,2,0,1,36,15,0,2,21,0,1,2,13,10,0,4,6,11,43,22,49,52,10,46,1,3,2,2,10,22,1,10,25,219,79,6,0.0,0.0,0.06772039675908012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438319569131046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852323314767732,0.0,0.05710692023898197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053361170510752405,0.0,0.12690930615421514,0.0,0.059050807357010286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576235930701614,0.0,0.0,0.15493757022461654,0.0,0.0,0.07075375427816714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249769730257252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101610870997557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750603033057296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623685683860873,0.0,0.06542028698088359,0.0,0.245620597129712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053615107193187406,0.0,0.10876949481476822,0.0,0.039439294346257016,0.17461798815038926,0.0,0.07650923472405835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244044682478074,0.0,0.0,0.0822344863604281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226516035232122,0.11441453027320952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709620187271316,0.04901638284757462,0.1356133433693023,0.2782117273369244,0.0,0.06141319575324724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058997920258788285,0.12526503464165434,0.0,0.13896692449017578,0.0,0.06971751809156618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352240318659411,0.06702300140021156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809785582816715,0.05277871593702354,0.0,0.0,0.07705594455528343,0.0,0.0,0.048110385580068436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560156479864024,0.0,0.0,0.07060058779028051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976205588064761,0.0,0.073811091393058,0.0,0.0,0.22228398162755356,0.0713505523825884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529955479953184,0.0,0.21718520349450887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879892854547927,0.05342436116918959,0.0,0.0,0.04911878160909432,0.0,0.055419662615006325,0.058018087314487474,0.0,0.1450953432265531,0.2383251391323258,0.0,0.0,0.0654048230190616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196524979210674,0.06389042942495797,0.0,0.0,0.23051779201553224,0.13339828931855668,0.0,0.05509260019273295,0.16186125055224626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471152669823712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057258892699284865,0.0,0.05508324249549923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689517993183966,0.15051380628133773,0.0,0.2818996568185414,0.0,0.04929686272795794,0.0,0.0,0.04468869019824387
mentalhealth,throwaway999299947,2018/03/05,"Okay what the hell is happening Okay so to start, I'm diagnosed with Visual Snow, only saying it because I *think* it might be relevant. Anyways, so for quite a while now I've been having these weird ""incidents"" I'll call them. Basically what happens is, I begin to hallucinate and see weird patterns and fractal like images all over with my eyes open or closed, my visual snow gets extremely bad during these incidents, and my brain feels itchy. Not my head, my actual brain will feel itchy. I often start semi-panicking durning these incidents, have trouble grounding myself in reality, and begin to kinda feel like nothing is real while simultaneously  feeling extremely anxious. My thoughts become completely scattered and will quickly fly through several thoughts and things at seemingly random. These incidents can last from only 5 minute to 30 from what I can tell. They have only ever happened at night, which combined with visual snow, makes things super hard to see. They are also pretty uncommon, I had one tonight which led to this post, but before that the last one was last early January. I have had times where my brain has felt ""itchy"" outside of these incidents, and on those cases it always felt like my brain was scattered in thoughts but more streamlined and could be somewhat focused. So what the hell is happening to me? 
  ",6.944259121370068,8.79673088185654,6.476594688508317,73.45938942665676,65.07594936708861,9.289550757011666,33.35045917101017,9.627879704456738,3.451576520228345,1077,46,168,22,17,334,143,237,0.09,0.836,0.075,-0.5694,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,3,2,10,12,2,0,4,2,23,7,6,2,2,39,47,17,0,1,4,0,7,3,0,3,1,1,0,0,19,13,0,0,11,0,0,1,1,6,0,2,10,11,19,6,21,31,3,28,2,0,3,0,6,10,2,7,19,115,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.10106949440527828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282498545931119,0.08617863449903486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117004752590797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647672189539837,0.06313538225892218,0.11438505756829888,0.08813054160076639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462474014813997,0.10575666969027553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859129758128208,0.0,0.0,0.08269231116013985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512148901875884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368510068194004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094726531483628,0.07399051255893764,0.19888710931871784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054111111638223686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663468510557548,0.0,0.0927784819387194,0.0,0.10629282042350267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25327040698105224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179738348668556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691338575941195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987152750268757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719353913997084,0.0,0.0993783209388748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036358392068,0.23630922397392184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919154303652072,0.10536804351670252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101595685438434,0.0,0.11788546797609638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236311435002483,0.0,0.0,0.16506394858580806,0.09428634505185686,0.0,0.117004752590797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661492432466594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052484763808114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376147678125175,0.06636354924657067,0.0,0.24666931294396435,0.06039256833993707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crayonmastermind,2018/03/05,"Dogs are lifesavers in so many ways My dog has changed my life. I have to take him out on walks (going outside used to be really hard before I got used to it) and keep him on a regular schedule and, most of all, he's such a good boy. I would have definitely killed myself if it wasn't for him. I love him and I know he loves me more than anything, and I have to be there for him. When it seems like everything is crashing down around me and I just want to give up, I have to keep going for my poocharoo. If you can support a dog and you want unconditional love, go for it. Seriously. ",1.9134146341463416,3.2575724146341507,3.597243902439025,91.17976829268294,76.88617886178861,6.871219512195122,22.86910569105691,7.554174236665415,0.6782266666666668,449,13,106,6,10,150,77,123,0.113,0.755,0.132,0.1207,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,6,8,1,0,3,0,12,4,0,2,1,22,30,10,1,5,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,8,0,2,2,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,2,1,21,6,19,25,3,14,0,0,0,3,14,7,0,4,3,75,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439664461162982,0.15620526989349054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493118243511854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562371792597984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577008875018003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832656309717686,0.29917048996607504,0.14717569238096148,0.14033918013796506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718642081604128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119311336170324,0.19413126874373196,0.0,0.09643357989498492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393946626029773,0.08572565139717099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751048720641946,0.0,0.0,0.17789877478082056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241040827840684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974106065150614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912098096567352,0.0,0.0,0.13193140661988922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030990326588933,0.0,0.0,0.20699319723380288,0.1392797117651151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464866846274425,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Beast_and_the_harlot,2018/03/05,"I love my best friend A little background history about me. I’ve struggled with mental health issues since I was about 8, and began treatment after my first hospitalization at 13. I’ve had many diagnoses thrown at me, and now at 23 the current diagnosis is atypical depression, schizoaffective disorder, borderline personality disorder, and general anxiety disorder. Currently I’m considered “treatment resistant”. I’m on a fuck ton of medication and am receiving ECT, and yet here I am. Spiralling, once again, into depression. 

I’ve lost most of my friends because they weren’t able to deal with my illness, but I have one friend who’s stuck with me through it all, and I’m always grateful for her. Today I was texting her and told her about how I’m feeling, how I dread going to bed because my thoughts race uncontrollably, how I can’t sit down to work on my art because of that damn voice in my head that tells me I suck at everything, and just how miserable I feel. And she said to me that she’s sorry my life is so hard and how she wishes I could be happy. 

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but to me, just knowing that she genuinely cares about me means the world. I just wanted to share how I felt. ",7.7060201149425325,6.9738931939655195,7.920689655172413,72.70994252873565,63.18103448275862,11.871264367816092,37.00574712643678,11.20814326018867,4.100205747126436,959,41,181,24,12,314,138,232,0.173,0.684,0.14300000000000002,-0.4054,3,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,4,18,19,3,4,4,0,13,8,1,6,1,38,36,19,0,3,5,0,4,1,3,0,5,3,1,1,7,14,0,0,7,1,0,2,3,10,0,2,11,7,36,9,28,23,5,23,0,4,0,2,20,11,3,1,10,121,43,1,0.12704651600865158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571287880339836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719023700501224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23233913086723654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332748040392595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295323902772545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143630516381263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309793794111222,0.21884995615033606,0.12894953944062876,0.0,0.0,0.436818942419627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418121658193335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847707162932118,0.0,0.12198457892253635,0.0,0.0,0.10806570161521624,0.0,0.0,0.29446746934732515,0.11745245684971338,0.0,0.0,0.07220346283582703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352433787115754,0.1138087238648574,0.0,0.13038637834563238,0.1350445055542727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326035549919201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964288528984656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973671146875901,0.06206851035442625,0.1273339853579892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868628003763436,0.0,0.11466444092496365,0.0,0.0,0.12880522649358947,0.0,0.13839090089583705,0.0,0.12798599890734128,0.12803300647725122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339380742584676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530039319948167,0.08609000723713985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109321173661896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085033008365348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050941909048278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221817322022046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281660328824135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104425479342853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008607424773205,0.0,0.0,0.12042524201700032,0.12139839050510046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749353268036297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609722347319493,0.0,0.0,0.09249137677100117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sammyraejr,2018/03/05,"Welcoming and supportive kik group Hey everyone. I own a mental health chat, made for support and just people to chat to. The group welcomes all sorts of walks of life and disorders. Please feel free to join and chat and learn
#mentalillnesslife",4.557906976744189,7.833477348837214,3.4058604651162803,85.96181395348837,77.83720930232559,8.091162790697675,24.879069767441862,8.841846274778883,2.3387339534883727,198,7,34,5,5,57,33,43,0.0,0.65,0.35,0.946,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,11,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,6,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196115507579368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266474212179971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100609696375951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964279680898786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697558915539548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638754939882004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810374535618347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933347789778032,0.0,0.0,0.3061177874201472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6329214369301837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GatoPajama,2018/03/05,"Grateful for my neighbor’s kindness So I have been in the slump of depression for a couple months now. 
It has been especially bad the past week or so. I’ve been in a really dark place that I wouldn’t wish even on someone I hate. 
I’ve been very isolated, which I know doesn’t help. Even entertaining a few suicidal/self harm thoughts. 
I had literally no reason to smile today. 

My neighbor (woman in her 60s) just came over with a huge plate of fresh baked cookies. I couldn’t help but smile at her kindness. Even though I haven’t showered or even brushed my teeth today, and I’ve been wearing the same pajamas for two days and probably look and smell like shit, she gave me the hugest hug before she went on her way. 

I know it’s really small, but I wish she knew how significant her act of kindness was to me tonight. ",3.4304971857410846,5.0147393292682985,4.151951219512196,87.76453095684806,73.39024390243901,7.729080675422139,26.03001876172608,8.384062270229773,1.5403898686679174,646,22,137,11,13,206,102,164,0.1,0.6679999999999999,0.232,0.9653,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,10,11,2,0,8,0,13,5,3,2,0,21,24,11,0,4,5,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,4,5,1,0,5,1,0,3,5,5,0,1,12,3,21,6,16,10,2,22,0,1,1,1,13,10,1,2,9,83,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763154500487147,0.0,0.0,0.11988118355311868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113279114443368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558845251031254,0.0,0.0908579763514171,0.0,0.12134245008746182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722079657507716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909294284363075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886201062501207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401243610599192,0.1548513889279693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882839048422178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830636311680268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245158569863416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344889073045725,0.0,0.0,0.14719290560929255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189586317089546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050670597137766,0.14485134157573953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697185023362036,0.0,0.14461452825108673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936983525171893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841697892261395,0.11184548377456742,0.0,0.0,0.2670815050779425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762236578181936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624335268155138,0.0,0.11182648637436376,0.11300796445906855,0.0,0.0,0.1306000908850011,0.0,0.0,0.32401733788852183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sleepybunnyy,2018/03/05,"i don't understand what's going on with me? a few years ago, during high school, i was severely depressed. couldn't get out of bed, contemplations of suicide half the time and an attempt that fucked up my stomach for a while. since then i've been fine and i never spoke about it again ever. 

lately ive been feeling off. i feel so lonely and sad. i have no one to vent to about this or even just talk to. i was fine a few weeks ago. even since a few weeks ago, ive had days where i felt fine and content. but days like today i just feel like theres a bucket of tears ready to pour out of my eyes or a scream in the form of a knot in my chest. ive broke out in a stress rash and ive had 3 anxiety attacks come out of nowhere. i feel so alone for no reason. theres nothing i can do to make it go away but probably try and go to sleep and pray i wake up a new person. 
i dont understand why this is happening. i don't feel like it's depression. i dont know if it is and i desperately dont want it to be. i dont feel like i did in high school. i dont know what it is. ",0.25564710531515544,1.5295924149377598,2.546295198577358,97.24724757952974,81.28215767634855,6.084252124086149,18.94507014424027,6.868970318607317,-0.1685046038332345,816,18,214,9,21,279,123,241,0.221,0.679,0.1,-0.9828,0,3,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,1,13,16,2,1,12,0,26,7,6,2,2,38,47,17,1,3,7,0,7,4,0,0,0,2,1,1,11,14,0,0,12,0,0,4,11,9,0,2,9,10,26,7,31,36,4,37,1,5,1,1,3,16,1,3,21,137,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509807142897556,0.0,0.0,0.09774695293178244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219876974646153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073683887838178,0.08867106342266791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129813038349681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173176530331525,0.0,0.16257494662047647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530504783504521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246713127187392,0.08537013642037725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863215523937853,0.2022705885458201,0.09061750230934276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725076869409573,0.04930851276017178,0.0,0.16091126070344575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345798964870622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994306853792311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373515727977108,0.0,0.10646228553092164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844329317708724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299792401476978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072789988727324,0.0911506813209534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055805836813544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395284960221798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240706727359794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017552465319438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970361118784331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103077367028826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662006677476284,0.0,0.15614060680677272,0.0,0.09444597299936336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081094676065583,0.0,0.0,0.10323401089154312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585731230327994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503246258400261,0.0,0.08945913280979982,0.0,0.0,0.06407634090299331,0.0,0.0,0.1965012665522783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566648021953167,0.0,0.15140837997237835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516129802959753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060776218220780574
mentalhealth,mp1137,2018/03/05,6th grade student death A 6th grader that goes to the school I teach at died in a car accident over the weekend. I have a pretty consistent issue with allowing myself to experience grief. I did not have this student but I am having trouble working through whether or not I am “allowed” to feel upset or cry. Any input or guidance on issues like this?,3.6963184079601943,5.946582537313433,4.791865671641791,80.59635572139305,74.37313432835822,6.854726368159205,30.56965174129353,7.793537801064563,2.321171144278607,278,13,48,4,6,91,50,67,0.265,0.664,0.071,-0.928,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,5,0,6,0,0,2,0,11,7,5,3,0,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,6,1,9,6,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,36,9,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370708487215428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329046152810146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108899000402219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930214252898409,0.0,0.0,0.15146357193709029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.625313383498659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463470199604104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30475424833157544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031647784259053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807897894082895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jcause22,2018/03/05,"Memory loss after traumatic events I (20F) am diagnosed with PTSD after two traumatic events, one when I was 14 one a few months ago. 
I regularly have nightmares. 
Since the second event, I've been experiencing memory loss after nightmares - as in, I will wake up and have no memory of how I came to be where I am. Sometimes I have only forgotten a few days, once or twice I have forgotten over 6 years (I thought I was 14 years old, prior to the first traumatic event). 
My memory always comes back within an hour or so but I want to know what this is, and how I can stop it happening.
I'm currently on a waiting list for therapy and should be seeing someone within the next few months so I can't ask a therapist about this.",4.362377622377622,5.40285240559441,5.912874125874126,78.14008041958044,70.39860139860141,10.195524475524477,26.88741258741259,10.355215969177356,2.752463496503497,566,18,112,16,10,193,91,143,0.133,0.853,0.014,-0.8953,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,8,0,16,2,1,2,0,17,26,12,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,6,5,2,14,0,17,17,3,31,0,2,1,0,1,7,0,2,22,82,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164964479930771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484828577810705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397633084998693,0.0,0.0,0.14309772864071665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284631744368265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030678495767964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001769186415777,0.0,0.0,0.18888535966741515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829470198844595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456567865097255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832688561509892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022744894141812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970829926877214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979171320067792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952783464141428,0.19818809391245212,0.2522093844041145,0.1415357702777493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21753838095530675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829586028404887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394203138782142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768007037383935,0.0,0.18405549244817088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558610194109235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21281906414593105,0.21607390072076055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774087369209085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179051915194008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976530987623878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396817761712621
mentalhealth,HopelessHopeNot,2018/03/06,"Why do I have rage outbursts sometimes? I get so mad, fear is override with purge rage and hostility, and seems to get worse over time, each time I have it. I recently lashed out at my step dad and he lashed back, but my mom got in his way. I almost threw glass at him, but resisted and just broke a chair. I could have easily went to jail, he yelled to me that I had one hour to get out before he called the cops. 

I left, called late that night and they let me back home, I wouldn’t come back until talking to him so I could make sure he was calm, which he was. He had no idea that I had such anger and hostility in me. 

What pushed me over the edge (you can’t expect me to be in my right mind when you wake me up prematurely, so you’re really playing with fire when you do so, and I still avoid looking into mirrors when I first wake up because I went through a period years ago where I thought I was demonically possessed and literally lost control of my body and even literally barked like a dog, and you guessed it, it happened right after I woke up, which was shortly after falling asleep that night, had A LOT of anxiety and stress at that time, I was in high school, and everyone tortured me mercilessly which was intensified by the medication I was on, looking into mirrors was looking at pure evil, the demon itself, I can’t explain the episodes/attacks I had, but even today I avoid looking into mirrors when I just wake up) was the fact that I gave the warning to leave me alone (because I knew what was coming) and my step dad decided to challenge that, and that’s when I yelled “I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!” at the top of my lungs and ran at him. I stopped at the bar and almost threw a glass jar at him, thought about criminal charges and settled for breaking a chair. He dared to get as mad as me and come at me (well, I’m the one who would go as far as trying to summons demons to curse the house if any “consequences” were used on me, I’ll summon the dark forces to punish YOU if I can) but my mom got in his way.

Then I packed stuff, left the house, and later that night called my mom, said I could come home, but I refused to until talking to my step dad so I knew it was safe for me. I apologized (tried to before I even left the house but HE left) and explained that although I don’t think my behavior was acceptable, I really wasn’t in control of it. He said he was shocked I had that kind of anger and hostility in me, and said it’s all good.

I just want to get back to having a job so I can get to saving more and to getting a life, eventually moving out, but on GOOD TERMS, the PROPER WAY (not being kicked out or running away). 

I’m 22, that information is probably good to know.

I used to be the MOST SPINELESS PUSSY, I would most likely be in prison or dead if I snapped while still in school, there was even a time when this piece of shit made me have to hold myself back REALLY HARD from beating him mercilessly with a stapler, because he mouthed off to me saying I belonged in the state school. 

I’m thinking my current problems developed over my life and have been stewing deep down for a long time, until this one day, weirdly it all started with a series of nightmares and me waking up in an ocean of sweat, I still remember the dreams. That was the first time I recall having a rage outburst. I gave the warning to my family that I could feel something was off (I woke up FULL of hatred and felt bad about it, but was just full of nastiness and hatred, it was absolutely disgusting) and my dad (my real dad) pushed me anyway (it was so stupid too) and I had my first rage outburst, but my dad was smart enough to back down and walk away, the man may have been abusive a lot (sometimes not even drunk) but he was smart enough to not challenge me, instead backing down and walking away. 

That being the first time that happened to me, I cried hard afterwards, ashamed that I lost control of myself, and felt weak. 

I’ve never been quite the same, and it seems I cope less and less good over time, I can not handle my hardships, and when I feel really threatened I go psycho after a failed attempt to use what I think of as a “get out of non-literal jail free card” which doesn’t work in real life, you can’t just escape all of your problems and everything. My life problems can get worse, and I deal with them worse. 

I remember being told to deal with my dad instead of leaving the house (some years ago when it was my real dad) and all I could think was “But I don’t want to go to jail.” 

I’ve even been told be a man and deal with sh*t and don’t blow up? I thought that was being a little p*ssy and being a man was being assertive and not submitting to others, but doing what you want or need to do? I just don’t f*cking know. 

I don’t understand life, I already failed, I’m already 22, never crossed normal milestones for a man, or even a HUMAN.

I’ve planned on going to a famous bridge in my country and jumping. If I ever actually do become homeless and have no one, I probably will kill myself, because I don’t even have any drive for anything, if I have absolutely no one I feel no reason at all to be alive. Not even any passions to pursue in life. If I end up homeless and no friends or family, I will no longer have a single reason to NOT KILL MYSELF. Even the suicide hotline lady told me I have to find my own reason to stay alive, and kept trying to get me off the line and pushing to send EMS. Church people would be more helpful even if you’re Atheist or even Satanist!

*Sigh*

I’ve never even had a girlfriend or had sex, I have no friends, and haven’t even managed to keep a sh*tty retail job long-term. I never learned basic life skills or social skills apparently, been told I’m “ugly as fuck” too many times, Goddamit.",5.745952444491889,5.087245754056365,6.126993888770282,83.7237914309351,67.12126387702818,8.924215414175919,30.508659799316828,8.02467690995147,1.863964229291204,4482,143,960,47,64,1447,408,1171,0.22,0.7120000000000001,0.067,-0.9997,4,3,1,0,0,3,139.0,0,9,2,21,60,62,22,5,52,0,103,25,10,11,13,202,188,102,5,25,40,11,8,2,3,8,9,6,2,5,44,68,2,11,32,4,2,28,31,39,2,9,70,18,141,23,143,92,24,171,4,5,4,4,76,72,3,26,67,666,185,12,0.0,0.04583882469945987,0.03775380094846612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858896238770852,0.0,0.07748066902680031,0.04006898755422497,0.08538609979682762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892727790018625,0.0,0.0295961308217996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03183683797885272,0.0,0.0,0.04401306132681648,0.10904564173521757,0.20824020153115685,0.0323027731000921,0.09433511738173632,0.04272773620095269,0.06584109170931171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042973525485799566,0.0,0.0,0.11851398723087385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330477019745154,0.0,0.0,0.13017527880471128,0.15444566502874987,0.0,0.04249683176398873,0.024950489210116337,0.11965655092938347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034265988367603084,0.07994986692700927,0.0,0.3577418210496713,0.03499541245155627,0.0,0.03696793790882079,0.03477018193892107,0.0,0.07294300124833934,0.04353463339635262,0.058685280590688525,0.0,0.07429288511452725,0.0,0.03536003160348962,0.13163160172923785,0.0,0.0,0.05978033743669304,0.0715326638844727,0.20212826332126552,0.0,0.08794888037019101,0.12979827018447926,0.06188448148714897,0.0,0.04261907379220847,0.0,0.06842314871683983,0.0,0.06931350275424637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0259316779193638,0.04087588109251791,0.07761421844444676,0.0,0.03809977968182539,0.17856252811791865,0.0,0.04367391998060458,0.0,0.0,0.0767835246159682,0.03438757523845355,0.12840725834550706,0.04028748515984892,0.042523706379671816,0.0,0.04364162632169179,0.08192978123447149,0.1681380276522887,0.039560989866265564,0.19128481149885015,0.037801898811484255,0.03877543058694067,0.0,0.06847513242799776,0.12995233902269726,0.0,0.08446480662395922,0.06578212309499247,0.0,0.03660741802222472,0.025824467746339903,0.039223449302209286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03897398014190486,0.0,0.0,0.03906374136427285,0.13593237152768362,0.0,0.04111910562742102,0.0,0.02868658106114728,0.11935394669224443,0.0,0.0,0.10891789511046901,0.03790591909131842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107958140428574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0268213124504519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342418018311111,0.11105726069562448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04114933440446672,0.0,0.13210586989303935,0.09913781487435157,0.11933278662550785,0.03819962514989895,0.0,0.08765167779554629,0.06607849527765483,0.1104031317105138,0.030766163845618276,0.0,0.1174626338175077,0.0,0.07044000614017708,0.0,0.0,0.03971256428603615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039437432927039766,0.0,0.02978382871199149,0.07652662715074557,0.0,0.027383488468003987,0.041236144357934865,0.09268859949720644,0.032344809314605684,0.044316848577819715,0.0,0.044288379348136286,0.04231827359849075,0.0,0.036462879538581836,0.0,0.0,0.06219172283965445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915855395267167,0.0,0.09214159223591584,0.20303298394438124,0.0,0.036671597135813284,0.14787175163528316,0.0,0.07879961561423265,0.0,0.0,0.04027545906913165,0.0,0.10024174890208266,0.0,0.0,0.06845736167327661,0.09212594162004803,0.0,0.0,0.03478506035570946,0.07172812535166287,0.0349098042292024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028165245513926844,0.0,0.11827879878448415,0.08244830354891425,0.0,0.0,0.0498274669120555
mentalhealth,ManMan867,2018/03/06,"Emotions, in tune, vibes, please help Ive posted this on nofap hope u guys can  give some insight too

When i was a kid and an early teenager i was so in tune with music, movies, surroundings, people everything had a certain atmosphere to it no matter if i was at a supermarket or in school, everything had music in the air. hope u guys understand me. i tried looking up what this means but could find it. Its like when u watch a show like breaking bad or something and it has this vibe that clings on after u watch it. Its like that except u feel this vibe everywhere around you, you create create the vibe of your life. I tried explaining this to people but they dont seem to get it i guess thats just how normal people feel and they should be thankful!! After spending some time watching porn, smoking weed, stimulating my brain too much. All of this was gone, empty, distant, episodes of derealization. So i do nofap quit porn quit weed,alcohol. These emotions or whatever they are have been coming back but slowly,unexpectedly. Ive been doing this for 3 plus months. Has anyone been on this for more than me and experienced something similar, do the emotions come back stronger like when i was younger, will i feel again Love u guys stay strong",4.1299367088607575,6.214163037974689,4.466099156118144,84.14902215189875,72.62869198312238,7.271645569620253,25.77405063291139,8.07648339933343,1.5706237974683543,988,33,186,15,20,310,139,237,0.034,0.7609999999999999,0.205,0.9911,0,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,3,3,13,11,0,0,8,0,25,5,1,2,2,40,43,18,0,6,9,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,4,20,9,0,0,9,1,1,3,2,1,0,0,11,8,20,10,24,28,5,29,0,0,4,3,14,12,0,10,15,124,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364869974478347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090051380199294,0.0,0.0,0.1029980182573175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793316031754428,0.09660512532451566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129160076784824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19933155570541167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923774734738672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135600181348815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904426331577915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079683854607581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755050214605776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574820539244073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044876131616664,0.1109905090327366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274571985554807,0.3436852007937025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755163891077738,0.0,0.0,0.2298335021676034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172271919753138,0.22610177527932945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715932095521716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442426242591968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603181628002094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235107410097504,0.0,0.08505321594839077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336197214434587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406365771708167,0.0,0.0,0.12700445821725848,0.0,0.0,0.11080914304043568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612355074571465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709513221178805,0.0,0.10532943410069116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781438699674761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332139043464226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652152035661466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746592036879061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710615552724588,0.0,0.0,0.12044835156473828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Moon_Idol,2018/03/06,Lorazepam issues? What are your experiences with Lorazepam for anxiety? I only took 0.5 mg and felt weird once it kicked in. ,3.645757575757578,6.8911623636363615,3.897272727272728,80.18257575757578,84.45454545454545,6.56969696969697,25.51515151515152,7.793537801064563,2.090224242424242,100,4,16,2,3,31,21,22,0.165,0.835,0.0,-0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30004825993534884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3836677426256438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376594005453096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093771881070223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177029380634123,0.0,0.2983020115840045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43577235262327385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lostmyselfhelpme,2018/03/06,"I am lost in my afflictions I am so numb that there are few events that I feel. This has lead to an obsession that so far I have failed to control.

 At night I sit at my desk In my home office. I will feel the lines or cracks in the sole of my left foot, Once I find a crack of flaw I must pick at it. If there is only a crease I will dig my fingernail into the crease until I can pick at the skin. I will pull at my flesh over and over again until my fingers get matted with blood. When I pull on the flesh I either feel nothing or shear ecstasy. When the pain starts the ecstasy begins. The deeper the flesh the more I feel the release of each fiber. The skin tares in long strips and will reach the side of my foot. The sensation changes as the tearing skin reaches the thin layers of the side of my foot. The thin skin is much weaker and I know it will give way soon so I slow down the process making each fiber of flesh matter. 

The sensation is outright orgasmic.  It eventually ends as the flesh gives way and tears off completely.  The sensation has me breathing.   I tend to the blood and clean the area of skin. I  apply a giant band-aid or bandage if needed.  I rub the area of the wound savoring the sensation. This sets me up for the next few days. Every time I step with my left foot I get a dose of the pain and smile.  

I try not to limp but my body sometimes out votes me and reacts to the pain the way it should.
My shoes are long overdue to be replaced and this only increases the sensation.  I know I need to stop doing this but right now I want nothing more to rip my shoes and socks off and tear at the flesh that remains.  This would be bad since I am at work and there are more than one hundred people around me.

I need help but I cannot survive another stay in the hospital

This may not be the right place for this but I just had to get this out somewhere rather than exploding.


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mentalhealth,galaxygal4790,2018/03/06,"What causes my boyfriend to act this way? Could it be anxiety, depression or maybe something else? I’ve been with him for nearly a year now. From the very beginning  he told me he’s been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I could care less because I really liked him. Something I found a bit off about him though was that he talked a lot! I mean like always dominating conversations to the point where I can hardly speak myself or he’ll interrupt if I do.  Sometimes me and him will be walking around and he’ll see someone he knows and he has go up to them and talk. And it’s not a quick hello. He will stay they’re talking for a good 15 minutes. The only reason the conversation ends is because the other person will say they have to go. I can see the awkwardness/annoyance in the other party. It happens often. The very first day I went out with him he was just talking about himself the whole time. That was a major red flag for me but then again I thought I’d give him a chance and maybe it won’t be like that all the time. I was so wrong lol he is also very repatative. He’ll say a joke and ya know sometimes they’re  funny and I do chuckle a little. But I don’t understand why he’ll immediately  repeat the same joke over, often more than twice. And he’ll proceed with saying “did you get it? Cause ..” and then goes on with explaining 
 the Joke. I hate this. I understand the joke. I laughed at it and the first time was funny and no I don’t need explanation because i get it. He doesn’t only repeat jokes, he’ll repeat his stories too. For example, He’ll be talking to me about this one kid in class, and then he’ll say a specific detail. Later on he repeat that same detail 2 or more times. Sometime he’ll repeat the exact same story and keep on going even after I told him I’ve heard it before. I often have to stop him. overtime, I have just been listening in with one ear. I’ll just say things like “oh yeah, that’s cool, oh that’s funny!” He also talks about himself a lot. Even things that are really uninteresting. The thing is, nobody cares. But he’ll continue talking about an uninteresting topic (most often about himself) for long time without changing the subject. It’s irritating because I can’t even talk about myself anymore or about something I like.

 I don’t think he understand social cues. He can’t read my expressions when I’m uninterested. Or maybe he can and he feels that rephrasing it will make it more appealing? He’s always looking for approval. “Oh they didn’t laugh as much as I wanted to, let me say it again!” “That’s not the reaction I expected, maybe if I add this they’ll be more interested”. He also always feels the need to show off his tattoo even if nobody asked him about it. He recently bought a motorcycle. And he’ll always mention his bike even when that’s not what me and a group of friends were talking about. II’m about done with this guy because of this specific behavior. Can I fix it? Or is it something that he sadly has to live his life with? Does it stem from his anxiety? Or could it be another disorder? Maybe if I become aware of where it comes from I can try and help him",1.7811140469899307,4.172472964912283,3.303720631293295,88.04455188173965,81.71132376395532,6.2951177128710505,21.95788997595753,7.543152864043107,0.9558807350805782,2467,79,499,40,67,810,258,627,0.063,0.794,0.14300000000000002,0.9945,0,0,4,0,0,0,65.0,0,2,4,3,38,24,1,0,33,3,51,3,1,4,2,89,102,45,0,11,21,0,3,5,1,17,2,10,0,3,42,31,0,2,13,8,1,7,13,5,0,5,19,18,63,19,59,56,16,59,0,3,4,0,89,18,0,18,37,332,105,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193837098519846,0.19691409022190093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203777460440265,0.135779060093653,0.0,0.058673997596717174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266779206536993,0.055309606330677864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032669046390554,0.06534110709973477,0.05034352633039417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459089217131167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064165253294475,0.12155380901154908,0.06258682171729849,0.050963858846932095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171100512703916,0.0,0.0,0.03815537008564096,0.0,0.10191435636378908,0.06004940346650616,0.0,0.0,0.0678061538101264,0.0,0.05177411573980596,0.0605444954733266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942326263706075,0.0,0.052401035366715656,0.0,0.0,0.19538368083275556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059829383989513714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064837680433897,0.0,0.06486939598375684,0.04570934220032642,0.0,0.06182066112486308,0.056754733245078064,0.10087143134397347,0.04962328587686367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05858087044654259,0.05231782310419275,0.0,0.052998607106430215,0.058411412223984265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965584640936811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258697128227173,0.0,0.0,0.06502909584921697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049838127781607,0.04178871840970017,0.1445207573833186,0.059297069961856075,0.052242190252671794,0.052357570976888805,0.04968218806402488,0.0,0.0,0.10059687529857954,0.0,0.0,0.0394918959635783,0.0,0.29718693654031986,0.0644460699901424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349176001493213,0.08773752752198719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018103207569299,0.08999256045377345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165902493341743,0.0,0.0,0.055928348020517465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917921123203085,0.0,0.07580292282363242,0.06082962407006912,0.058416523317554474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822937116204685,0.0,0.0,0.0942908223516034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030943264826785,0.050128788071123365,0.1821868898045668,0.17554175525897087,0.0,0.0,0.0630601001700593,0.0,0.0494630850463598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4279782578819432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791620522777388,0.0379093901862971,0.05812754442715834,0.04696897286508419,0.17249269090814892,0.0,0.0,0.11306594755201405,0.0,0.040167929788837466,0.0,0.0,0.18477293569803765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644751026829686,0.03489598871500795,0.046960994998257934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05484487989983546,0.05338558650154342,0.06605360088660228,0.0,0.05703121435604251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646856725123658,0.0,0.03809916159256427
mentalhealth,lillettenikki,2018/03/06,"anyone else had a therapist message them from here or another mental health thread? I've had a couple therapists message me because I was venting, I was just curious if this has happened to anyone else? Also, if I wanted to talk to a therapist I would. ",6.293125,6.971867062500002,7.6125000000000025,68.9825,65.875,10.566666666666666,36.83333333333333,10.504223727775694,4.337908333333333,201,10,32,5,3,69,33,48,0.0,0.936,0.064,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891119169829886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952562696583736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604031877795528,0.3815860506115187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351121836444357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603660837440446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31110728772574986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646639171232682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19793135536409548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876547764706933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966766200430276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6486086620086563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983083493858288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227746142577212,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmyArk22,2018/03/06,"What’s the worst breakdown you’ve a had to date and what was the immediate aftermath of it? (I got diagnosed with BPD about 2 weeks ago) Today I had a TERRIBLE breakdown and intense emotional dysregulation and became determined to end my life - which resulted in a suicide attempt and making my ex boyfriend cry, which broke my heart. I was just wondering whether anyone else has had these horrible impulses and whats a mental illness episode/breakdown like for you? ",6.7650000000000015,8.545148357142857,6.8676190476190495,70.76071428571429,65.42857142857143,10.83809523809524,39.0,10.864195022040775,4.8675857142857115,378,21,61,11,6,121,62,84,0.263,0.655,0.08199999999999999,-0.9643,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,6,0,6,4,1,2,0,11,9,6,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,0,7,1,7,3,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,7,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466335818824275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932637088043115,0.24812515422562145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30499648891833114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660052667731683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457908856246948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022965557151744,0.2724013771260692,0.2144850097906455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368029713991056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869649492285353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104726298855275,0.118308868690796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164603682200385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440438809455775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648875972793198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295427111669131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942489768268951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626160184694856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reallyconfused4562,2018/03/06,"I Need A Break From Therapy I need a break from therapy. My therapist is great and I love him to bits, and he's helped me so much, but I don't know how to bring up a break/vacation. I just want a week or two where I don't think about it. I've talked about not coming in because I'm on a road trip or flying out of the country, and he suggests phone sessions, which I have done. But those sessions aren't productive, because I don't want to be there. I wan to just say no, but I have a fear that he'll drop me.",2.9086466165413536,2.6008682105263183,4.424586466165415,92.34710526315791,73.03508771929825,8.268671679197995,25.93483709273183,7.957251820313856,1.0510416040100252,392,11,101,5,7,132,71,114,0.098,0.8220000000000001,0.081,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,7,0,9,1,0,1,0,20,20,10,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,1,1,14,2,13,17,2,13,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,2,1,65,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569554660438986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300960378823216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815516337004769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21568131443436134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371643206451515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236435523443455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126841774324095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582853866059775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902197108159963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493332455329414,0.3125526955542969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676053242684432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940142303178254,0.0,0.0,0.482046331208009,0.2447093532955883,0.0,0.13504691121569914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588252550885836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486241781585373,0.0,0.1690594765848877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,b_tn,2018/03/06,"Gf has bdp? Driving me crazy, what should i do I've been together with my girlfriend for 11months now. She is really affectionate, kind and caring and i do love her alot. She used to have a bit of depression but it's getting pretty bad lately, She would feel really sad and depressed during different parts of the day and always at night. Every night she would call me crying and i would try to comfort her. She cuts and talks about suicide, she asked me what would happen if she died. I would go into a really bad mood and breakdown cause i feel extremely bad for her and honestly i feel its so f'ed up. I would try to console her the whole night leaving me sleep deprived. She said she wanted to end her life and i was so stressed trying to convince her not to. She would get mad at me for the simplest reasons. She is really clingy but would push me away whenever she's mad. She would keep on saying that i don't care but i really do. She did told me that she may have bdp as she did a quiz online. I did a ton of research on bdp and I really don't know what to do. Ive read threads on ither guys dealing with their bdp gfs and all the advice is to just leave her. I also watched some videos and read articles and i kinda understand why she has bdp, probably due to her parents neglecting her. I talked her to going to see a doctor and shes going to make an appointment soon. After reading articles and threads on gf with bdps has made me show less care towards her. I try to not care as much as last time whenever she gets upset and i don't want to hurt myself anymore. Sorry if it was an eyesore to read this i dont know what to do anymore.This is my 1st RS btw if it matters.











































",2.208448275862068,3.9176592701149424,3.684000000000001,89.311,76.98850574712644,6.938850574712642,23.381609195402298,7.793537801064563,1.054836091954023,1318,41,282,20,30,435,173,348,0.213,0.716,0.071,-0.996,2,0,0,0,0,3,26.0,0,0,1,0,8,25,3,2,12,0,37,4,1,5,1,60,65,28,2,15,9,1,3,0,3,11,2,2,0,1,11,20,0,2,7,6,0,5,6,14,0,0,9,7,61,10,40,45,9,27,0,6,2,1,45,10,0,7,12,196,72,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738882789480355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046779554606075,0.06291618431839413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498791058236817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068807280489292,0.0,0.0710410279605486,0.0,0.18940142434314136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254995815810415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772094633642335,0.0,0.30837051584007824,0.0776755167063501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305747663655302,0.04876421579257273,0.0779538204826007,0.13025096218252244,0.0,0.07847449480447118,0.07899963107812913,0.0,0.07739324614566374,0.0,0.0,0.08861802933119065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697079311880122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637073261460751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469681666248467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851422431885288,0.0,0.1289180588295315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486889005034167,0.06686444424268898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094542328564219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720842727329678,0.0,0.0787394428834842,0.08311000144067512,0.061634795757460586,0.08529490807045692,0.16012678141541795,0.0,0.0,0.053407792340941285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824380512252883,0.07154697517196933,0.05047235376051296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558435328517687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128734108622693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395943654678094,0.08188165514036673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692574018725805,0.08152374669908789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025343819730395,0.0,0.2906382570513012,0.07774289459323683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192540519705799,0.060130598652513675,0.0,0.0,0.060253877738472066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756677404062097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464271242096799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661458896041796,0.0,0.0,0.08270849554682194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154994507422898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409062621175842,0.0,0.0,0.07225158939413681,0.0,0.20534541709513346,0.0,0.0,0.07871593861958223,0.0,0.06530547001464661,0.0,0.0,0.08919717042053922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682290921181243,0.08441936325819907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483420605359591,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LimaBeanLola,2018/03/06,"Don’t know where to even start My first post here, but something I’m struggling with is sometimes really negative thoughts and overthinking. I’ve never come close to killing myself but I think about death sometimes. I have a lot going on in my life. It’s not that this heavy feeling I get in my gut comes out of nowhere- it always has a source, like the slightest thing that someone says that bogs me down, or the recurring memory of my mom’s attempted suicide. 

I don’t feel like I need pills, but I’ve always wanted to have a therapist to talk to. Especially now that I have moved away from and begun to leave all that I had for friends/family/support. My social circle is very tiny. I am leaving the religion that had a vice grip on my life, something I thought would never end. And it has made me a lot happier, but I still get these recurring feelings.

I am enrolled in online school but all I want to do is nothing. It feels to difficult to sit down and actually start an assignment. I’m close to 2 months behind, it makes me feel worse but then I feel too bad to do anything.

I don’t think my parents would let me get a therapist. Considering I’m only 16. and they can’t afford it, and they’d think that something is wrong with me. Which, there is... but they wouldn’t want to admit it. My mom has much more serious issues than me but doesn’t go anymore because it’s too expensive.

I don’t know what to do. I feel sort of like I’m floating along. trying to get a grip on myself but I can’t, time’s moving too fast

Guess I wanted to vent. because I don’t know where to start.
I’ve always journaled and stuff and it helped me notice how often I come back to feeling this way
Even if I truly feel that things are looking up",2.564915254237292,4.281057468926559,3.7786666666666697,88.9885084745763,76.00564971751412,6.8668926553672325,24.51186440677966,7.675431598112923,1.1341464406779664,1360,45,287,19,30,443,174,354,0.131,0.7929999999999999,0.076,-0.979,2,0,3,1,0,3,37.0,0,0,3,2,15,9,1,1,11,0,32,4,1,3,4,67,75,21,3,9,12,3,11,3,0,3,3,1,0,0,25,17,0,0,18,0,1,7,13,6,0,1,5,13,41,3,39,65,6,42,0,0,1,0,11,15,0,7,20,192,66,2,0.0,0.0,0.08285141917496255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193404239783786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419927343476111,0.0,0.0,0.06986653376150888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976756375637954,0.06528385711296372,0.0708890370610001,0.1035100858292664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194048502969309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751973495215458,0.0,0.0,0.11215301251638407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863578230114846,0.06065350387931424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221700025930701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774296950327887,0.0,0.09650272781097792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352835102422677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056907550054099136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861489651299445,0.0,0.0,0.0939307064809462,0.0,0.13997859819244346,0.0,0.0,0.17979643049015878,0.0,0.08681732890578217,0.11993659447071475,0.12443545624644108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129570693976554,0.0,0.0,0.14436009402607286,0.0,0.08033566049713584,0.05667227533309429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887074696151755,0.06776740563790586,0.18047328591297415,0.06241222251168325,0.0629532362963369,0.13096222922141354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146508472669949,0.09666068989585264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457126252775976,0.0,0.0,0.09427284345342307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131197409354934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054389945183641514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751691943966931,0.0,0.0859246457073603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654618090196277,0.07193659383436765,0.1960835000921476,0.16793910824414862,0.0,0.18028072600945846,0.0,0.06780228583399782,0.0,0.0,0.08875727016754638,0.097191673149966,0.09286823939807196,0.09634498624729483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824044690539495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715390026786375,0.11280929898571447,0.16320396977108315,0.0,0.1348042932543723,0.04950662931508035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057642407917128886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005246199899985,0.2003079398670928,0.06739069810453822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652167544649557,0.12062289157622208,0.092826240758561,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tiredofearth,2018/03/06,"Im switching moods very fast and i dont know why or whats going on So yeah, im from germany and i already told alot about what happened the last year in other posts, so im not going to talk about it again. but the main thing you need to know is that i am depressed, to the point that i feel numb almost all the time and only had few moments where that changed. ive got social anxiety too, but i dont think that matters too much.

so, as of maybe the last 2-3 months, i started getting frustrated and angry/aggressive alot. mostly caused by little things not working or something along the lines. but i got so angry that i broke stuff, hurt myself, hit things and banged on a lot of tables. soon after those breakouts, i also started having a lot of episodes of just pure disgust and hatred for myself, mostly caused by looking in the mirror or relationship stuff. when those happened i always got drunk, not like totally wasted, but you know, i couldnt really walk anymore and didnt remember anything. made it worse by smoking too, but thats not the point. 

so now im at a point where i just randomly start getting angry. for example, just now i wanted to write something in my notebook, didnt like it or something, so i broke my pen. no real reason for that. 
and those self hatred phases also just come and go. 

i do have some fun here and there, when i enjoy watching a show or something, but i still feel pretty numb and uncaring about everything.

my quieston is if that is just the depression, or maybe i started developing something else?

id be glad if someone could help me",3.2787515360039308,5.0730160063897785,4.1471725239616655,86.77123310395676,74.23961661341853,6.476726468419759,25.776480707790608,7.1686216300943375,1.1950831653969032,1242,43,242,13,26,399,165,313,0.226,0.701,0.073,-0.9956,0,0,5,0,0,2,37.0,0,2,0,1,30,15,2,0,15,1,16,3,0,4,3,66,43,36,0,6,23,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,22,13,1,0,8,2,0,5,10,9,0,0,8,4,27,5,27,31,12,37,0,5,2,0,9,12,0,17,21,173,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663230355508562,0.0,0.09547148482191008,0.13837207340171406,0.07198743393935217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618375968135475,0.0,0.08579966057668352,0.0,0.0,0.07119449655407672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774953100481172,0.09152142822833782,0.07452503612928255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907521013226994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490305338321368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027899371656455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227220459731136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775412871967452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748919536887925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040106279440208,0.0,0.14750545259730855,0.0,0.207581913768298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530099072268382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798919966542807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261612690908964,0.0,0.3738043055314492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263919061269856,0.14104258978904666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845337453568546,0.08671078645242615,0.0,0.0,0.07265083422300841,0.0,0.0,0.1471039661387586,0.0,0.08186261141788312,0.0,0.0,0.17383194823875772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905547001423779,0.0,0.06359850018762889,0.06414979709551201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657985773735012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453539970000364,0.0,0.08285748194076935,0.08801688627431611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847304250839453,0.05542374233379399,0.08895185792677612,0.0,0.09288476281559134,0.0980046617211032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902540425169664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819117603609908,0.07330390254274291,0.3330174768002357,0.0,0.0,0.24494312866986095,0.0,0.06909101318300227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807801723154408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953750244199709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243022121266907,0.05543533667178208,0.0,0.0,0.05044760861055092,0.0,0.0,0.08266881685326552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138395875508617,0.05102880509036562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806635629299412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298397083334499,0.0,0.08816620480207778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571284157875631
mentalhealth,yudyyopps,2018/03/06,"Could this be anorexia? I (17F) have been preoccupied by my weight since I was about 13, and I’ve been counting my calories on and off since I was 14. For the past 8 months or so I’ve been consuming <1300 calories per day, usually much less. Since June, I’ve lost just over 20 lbs. I’m now about 108 lbs and 5’2”, which is a healthy BMI, but my friends have told me I don’t eat enough and that they are concerned.

When I get nervous I completely lose my appetite and can go several days without feeling hungry. Most of the time I’m not hungry, I only eat because I know it’s the healthy thing to do (I set myself alarms to remind me to eat).

My first boyfriend broke up with me two days ago, and it’s hit me surprisingly hard. I have not eaten in over 48 hours and I have no appetite. In the back of my head I think I’m treating it like a competition with myself. It’s like I’m trying to see how long i can go, how much weight I can lose, or how much I can shrink my waist size. I also went on a 13 mile run/jog a few days ago even though i usually struggle to go over 3 miles at one time.

I know that this isn’t healthy, but is it anorexia? I know I should talk to a doctor, but I’m scared of sounding overdramatic and making a fuss over nothing. I’ve read sometimes anorexia is used to give someone a sense of control. Is it possible to restrict yourself to get that sense of control while still being mentally and physically healthy? How do I bring this up to a doctor? Can I fix this unhealthy state of mind on my own?",2.4117187499999986,3.661512984375001,3.6357500000000016,91.79425000000002,75.40625,6.620000000000001,26.2375,7.087006719466742,0.9643474999999992,1185,43,271,12,25,386,163,320,0.129,0.79,0.081,-0.9359,0,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,1,6,15,13,0,4,12,0,27,10,2,8,0,38,52,23,0,2,9,0,4,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,15,11,7,3,5,1,0,5,6,8,0,3,9,6,37,5,36,38,8,43,0,4,1,0,5,15,0,3,23,169,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876694169258525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063710626847707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753530736735499,0.0,0.061467617534502014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572278346122252,0.0,0.2261883512622641,0.0805079366525448,0.0,0.0,0.2601189750976992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20641623719047106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30953580617370235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418872586583904,0.0,0.06660006533150968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098482208778176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576955406548475,0.0,0.0,0.07790428463183377,0.0,0.10536345850903717,0.09672939228814338,0.17191926902385551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903276742643779,0.0,0.1034850221649217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930141608472244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624758578407273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985250338458631,0.0,0.0,0.08923513040592078,0.0,0.22561544703706535,0.11007248568267243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673076390011012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016171986771326,0.0,0.1018138390151917,0.0,0.08048492932228833,0.0,0.22237430828648969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675317395941636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832789145732197,0.07668898420822395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625769287103772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367545634571005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086152839177423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095266613088022,0.0,0.08035183519438757,0.0,0.0,0.11391399124622835,0.0,0.2502333789737076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543652536119367,0.0,0.09972764288557852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052635528644889,0.0,0.0,0.10541384237791183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104674355469108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698978934117195,0.06461051026176101,0.09906913002940937,0.0,0.11759451387881405,0.0,0.0,0.09635143863651127,0.0,0.06845983085091874,0.0,0.09850040187784014,0.0,0.0,0.08708840925865315,0.22210934188598544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24557788179196766,0.0,0.09347435182046898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720061025206644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,megaghost9,2018/03/06,"Compulsive mask wearing? I have a relative who a few years ago started wearing a plain white full-face mask habitually. She puts it on first thing in the morning and takes it off last thing at night. She says she’s extremely anxious and distressed without it and has panic attacks if required to remove it, especially in public. Is there a specific name for this kind of mask-oriented behaviour? 

Please note I’m not asking for help identifying her underlying problems, rather I’m curious to know if this specific behaviour involving face covering is a documented psychological phenomenon that exists outside of her.",8.398277703604808,9.959326317757007,8.898531375166893,58.490093457943935,61.52336448598129,12.843257676902535,42.38851802403205,12.28987398476788,6.2202106809078765,504,29,73,18,7,168,78,107,0.154,0.804,0.042,-0.9057,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,1,2,6,0,4,3,3,0,0,12,10,5,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,0,2,6,1,13,10,1,14,0,0,1,0,12,6,0,2,6,49,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21099498377526416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689007319497087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22252143685948592,0.2707880346128561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024641188926175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595432784340255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24786662406696044,0.13081242849142194,0.19402231194428232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337053185287886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792712942098763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26128019890115706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22775797643303025,0.0,0.23928107534533885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892871976904744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684754661357012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896533254319744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162667410724116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294478049341847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328042890113333
mentalhealth,doesnt-matr,2018/03/06,"My cousin is in a terrible situation So for the past week my cousin has done some unthinkable things. He seems to be mentally ill and will not go to the doctor. A week ago, he had walked to a mountain near his house and hid in a cave thinking the world will end, and so he needs to find a female partner to recreate life on earth. He'd stripped down to his underwear and admitted he had eaten mud and even his own feces. He believes that he is always being watched by someone, wiped out his mobile phone's memory, and tossed couple of thousands of dollar into a toilette claiming they asked him to. A couple of times he claimed that he has become the character in the movie Limitless, and used powers to control others. I drove him outside one day, and suddenly he panicked and said they are out to get him with guns and we need to go home. He now says that he realizes all the things he's done and seen are delusions and he's recovering, but I am extremely concerned for him. What can I do?",8.23490129723632,6.2176620558375655,8.10098138747885,75.9690468133108,62.959390862944154,11.395149464184998,36.609701071630006,9.994966539143718,3.381573491257756,783,29,156,13,9,253,121,197,0.038,0.955,0.006,-0.6059,1,0,0,1,0,0,16.0,1,0,2,2,4,1,0,0,13,0,18,4,0,2,1,30,32,15,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,2,3,2,1,1,7,17,1,1,5,0,1,4,1,1,0,2,8,4,17,0,26,19,3,23,0,0,2,0,33,10,0,2,9,103,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403710682362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520425178460052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519057154724296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945684813599025,0.0,0.1830699841923134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822457519525408,0.0,0.3595830052324774,0.0,0.10479226261930244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631485287397932,0.0,0.3325662760210876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391743671590645,0.0,0.0,0.10732275927292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851242742436155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489403904816988,0.0,0.1846930152593929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299018215091038,0.0,0.0,0.18749102655783415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477111463692452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16375116296552106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409677590602751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010706686245453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511458057500496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456469109378845,0.1292181445561117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792430641708235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264496689752055,0.0,0.0,0.1376767965438611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159015610396024,0.1041166882465928,0.0,0.0,0.0947489138487451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033872693373986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067849549860256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imodelz,2018/03/06,"Help. How do I talk to my doctor about this? So I've had some emotional issues (for lack of a better term) for years. I didn't have much of an opportunity to seek help as a kid as my parents didn't really believe in things like depression, anxiety, etc... anyways, I've learned a lot about adhd recently and I think that may have been my problem my whole life. Trying to live with symptoms have made me very depressed and anxious and those feelings were so overwhelming I eventually went to my doctor. She put me on anti-depressants, but those seemed to make me more anxious and antsy. Last she wanted to try anti-anxiety meds but I declined. I want to bring up the adhd fear next time i see her but I'm worried since i'm college aged, she is going to assume I have negative intentions. I'm also concerned she will just think I'm a hypochondriac. Is there any way to avoid those possibilities? ",2.745458823529411,5.079601125714291,4.2029915966386575,83.26418487394962,77.74285714285716,7.317647058823531,25.72268907563025,8.313332769828598,1.8726907563025208,707,27,135,14,17,234,113,175,0.166,0.765,0.068,-0.96,1,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,9,9,0,3,6,0,14,4,0,4,0,27,30,13,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,7,2,21,3,21,21,8,15,0,3,1,0,10,3,0,5,8,90,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056372767712375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168782932213716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647147956057011,0.0,0.19455032198112826,0.2873036257199676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326299027264036,0.0,0.11246050030322877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32856177801383424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603022363780914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303510423523827,0.0,0.0,0.14181425646366527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430875710677741,0.06429466688971001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226655359497756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046202150880935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271942282736618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103650356932811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898151226283887,0.0621227452800628,0.0,0.11228242699183068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810478323830792,0.0,0.12031952767751213,0.08487863743562465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124334816374762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347541412418273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352334737600009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119338693351888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335100722131766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167258144185834,0.0,0.12782843693736376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146036858855275,0.0,0.1255527186512712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132808679620904,0.1157594379265115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518602129669656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321653594975339,0.0,0.10220440448674964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447781151980653,0.16295481928727273,0.0,0.0,0.0741465772389898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266322955123278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049182777387762,0.15000160928360928,0.1009317271510444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787630253335438,0.0,0.14196683912421024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913464221131726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188527910634981
mentalhealth,Ban-a-na,2018/03/06,"Curious: Do all religious people just have Mental Health issues? Do people who claim that they are religious really just suffer from Schizoaffective, Psychosis,  Hallucinations & Delusions? Because they are imagining things that are not there. With a change or wording and shifting from genre of 'non-fiction to fiction' is the difference between believing in Harry Potter or Jesus Christ. Just a question, please shed some light",8.687107843137255,12.111897808823528,7.050588235294117,64.69931372549021,63.558823529411754,9.827450980392157,36.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,4.8037568627450975,353,17,42,9,6,105,55,68,0.053,0.8759999999999999,0.07,-0.1377,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,13,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,7,7,2,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,4,0,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949503527062446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594283960287562,0.0,0.0,0.30669882098405565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28797275907324105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844120539193621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28935722502871464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841270479233546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743338228703575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.377446268022826,0.0,0.0,0.29881591157068765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30494880018141274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439115961135296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808509311660372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotStephany,2018/03/06,"Why do i hear my own voice screaming in my head? This is 100% my own competent voice, i understand that it is me *making* myself hear those things. 

It happens when i think about bad things that i’ve done, or if i don’t like something i said or did, i start screaming to myself about how stupid or dumb i am. 

What’s that about?",1.6913725490196114,3.378589705882355,2.538823529411765,97.04637254901962,78.41176470588233,5.7098039215686285,20.15686274509804,6.42735559955562,-0.1037431372549018,252,6,59,2,6,79,44,68,0.22,0.713,0.067,-0.8992,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,0,0,0,7,1,1,2,0,8,15,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,10,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,7,13,1,5,12,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,4,3,43,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126457188433738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606242942245172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252111544624321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26137338131509485,0.0,0.5740818430272715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442293919325505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999972388291065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24225735700149484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606377591004068,0.0,0.0,0.18026259143990775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383938542484683,0.16318755296488166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26512906241718176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298075274218185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dreamsofravens,2018/03/06,"Any experiences with Process Coaching and/or Family Constellations? I have recently been made aware of these practices. I attended one workshop and believe that it was actually harmful in the way it brought out trauma with little to no container. However, my husband is diving deep into these processes and I am highly skeptical. It is causing problems in our marriage. I don't know if I'm being too cynical, or if they really are selling trauma junkie snake oil like I think they are.  ",6.291229235880397,8.728851046511629,7.038637873754157,66.48127906976745,67.6046511627907,10.495681063122923,37.867109634551504,10.608840637214634,5.0297528239202665,394,22,57,12,7,130,70,86,0.171,0.787,0.042,-0.8913,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,2,0,1,7,2,0,1,0,10,0,0,2,0,15,15,5,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,2,1,1,2,2,6,0,1,4,1,9,1,8,10,0,11,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,3,2,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.27125370090283524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890257024437157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131713197008989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855465795976352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719030650369013,0.262040623016741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29368523818686365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276227084176705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579963733673014,0.278593910720822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630171630289597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835624851251734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26597492366344155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807146902105878,0.0,0.27445686089077337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810872057988406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063564449848108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ap_Sona_Bot,2018/03/06,"Anxiety in settings with new people. Im a high schooler with a bit of a problem. I have no problems talking in any way in front of a group or judge, however, in 1 on 1 conversations with someone I don't know I just can't look them in the eye and it feels really awkward. It could be a new classmate, or a waiter, whatever it is I just can't look them in the eye. I'm generally pretty loud and outgoing around anyone else and 95% of people who know me would consider me extroverted. Its just talking to new people",4.0038814016172495,4.544376584905663,6.123261455525607,78.13292452830191,70.88679245283019,9.453369272237195,31.18059299191375,9.606745405546679,2.8502819407008086,402,17,82,9,7,142,65,106,0.114,0.8320000000000001,0.055,-0.5849,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,8,0,8,2,2,0,0,20,14,5,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,6,8,0,15,11,1,15,0,0,4,0,7,9,0,2,3,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537795950049926,0.0,0.1297931947297405,0.0,0.0,0.11863365269505137,0.1738417543484381,0.0,0.15103774440943238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185230143136422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546362797852976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173326462577998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857876783211843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926029677105934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832672216426194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864867991021892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849515929280616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915902932412023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35287286545150903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261021305995852,0.0,0.3246928176841612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086916883539886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375653095241925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727404619782152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346721113912656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052508690064745,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pototobean,2018/03/06,"A secret everyone is in on except me? I have this idea that whispers itself into existence quite often when i interact with people in different social settings. Even the prospect of it can induce thought loops that are difficult to escape. Simply put, you could call this affliction anxiety or paranoia... But its something more. 
I feel like most people i run into have access to knowledge of living that i should also have insight into. It is a very simple understanding of self and others that allows them to live without over analyzing absolutely everything. It is the ability to forgive oneself. It is being able to laugh without wanting to cry; the ability to let laughter burst out of you. Reacting to other people's emotions without thinking about how i should react in case i don't react at all.

It is becoming increasingly more and more difficult for me to connect with people naturally and genuinely. I don't know how to be myself or even know who i am when i'm around most people. Even the people i feel most comfortable with. When i meet new people or even people i don't know very well, i feel like they can see right through me. Like im a phoney. I dont know that anything i do or any way that i react is genuine. When i feel happy and loud am i just overcompensating? I feel like i'm always trying to collect bits and pieces of other peoples identities which i deem admirable and put them together and end up with nothing. 

I don't know whats wrong with me. Whatever it is, it runs deeper now than it ever has. I feel like sometimes its okay, and it might just be depression or anxiety. but other times i feel like im on the brink of psychosis or delusional thinking. 

I feel like i'm mentally decaying. I cant focus on anything. I'm not very good at constructing cohesive ideas or thoughts. The only way i can explain myself is by rambling or erasing and rewriting over and over again. 

Any one else experience this? If not, do you have any thoughts on my experience? ",4.522022867194373,6.369502543535621,5.682646437994722,76.82219305189095,71.05804749340369,8.536182937554969,30.57528583992964,9.120678840339163,2.8765017766051013,1580,68,275,33,30,525,187,379,0.046,0.84,0.114,0.9565,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,3,3,1,20,20,0,0,9,1,35,0,0,8,2,84,61,28,0,5,19,0,8,7,0,3,0,2,0,1,28,20,0,0,27,0,0,5,11,5,1,1,3,11,40,15,49,50,10,39,0,1,1,0,15,20,0,14,18,211,68,0,0.07265408721118106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810144729358278,0.06045402075727994,0.0,0.0,0.14822181215523836,0.0,0.11116035570714368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195762464907492,0.06467754117893698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024073118301782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931944599099927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418794625654362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058008376721245584,0.0,0.07980710322837374,0.0,0.0,0.06257685885391337,0.0,0.0,0.07590805750148476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515004911209755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060693167096095575,0.08172606913978675,0.06434995639352288,0.0,0.0,0.19194935754387699,0.06571978140750527,0.0,0.06942409385278978,0.0652968088228222,0.1421392770376768,0.0,0.0,0.2938887160402953,0.3114245665238448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060938801302918615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734162683356434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403524195106714,0.15695776338407294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964393131368066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429372663844352,0.0,0.2484658197817911,0.0,0.12830978018411096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321823148518664,0.077074505100866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016977016483207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697135561706962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049232289796852284,0.05525670724266031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4533227646256645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607484968155315,0.0,0.07727656491745752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620461935031605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057895900950929925,0.0,0.0757940582289106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406169236685035,0.0,0.055932665892715165,0.07185675001205767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310761088292446,0.0,0.17303768911615106,0.04236518252153197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04932735607685354,0.0,0.0,0.07563546707084315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984169270233175,0.042853263039645415,0.11533886531768155,0.0,0.0,0.06532474980795493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21010784221329096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943583893574001,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arabela21,2018/03/06,"Treatment For Depression- Anything. Hi there. I am  a 21 F in America and I am absolutely sick of being sick. I have totally changed my life since my major depressive disorder peaked 3 years ago. I am productive, positive and work a full time job. I eat healthy. I am on Vitamin D3 for a deficiency and I get health check-ups a lot due to physical health problems, so all good nutrients wise. But I’m still depressed. I still, no matter what the circumstances, go through hours of sadness and unmotivation. I always get back up again and I haven’t been in an unsafe place for a while. But I am sick of feeling sad for no reason and having my head tell me to die all the time. I’d say I have depressive thoughts/moments/episodes several times a day. And I’m definitely glad I’ve come so far, but I’m done with feeling this way. Also, I am on Cymbalta and it’s done a number on my sex drive. I’d really like to not be basically asexual anymore. I am seeing a therapist, which helps with the deep issues and problems from my past, but not really anything day to day, as I lead a pretty healthy life. Does anyone have any recommendations? I’m looking into ECT. I am basically willing to do anything. Thank you for helping. ",2.370750000000001,4.710873241666665,4.436666666666671,81.06500000000003,79.08333333333334,8.166666666666666,28.33333333333333,8.959647251330699,2.6562083333333333,958,44,186,25,24,328,143,240,0.132,0.701,0.16699999999999998,0.8533,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,8,13,0,0,13,0,20,11,1,2,3,30,33,18,1,2,6,0,2,1,0,1,8,1,0,0,4,13,1,0,3,0,0,4,5,8,0,0,3,5,23,5,25,27,6,32,0,6,2,1,6,11,0,1,17,116,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128637543073006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137528607724016,0.0950751435382228,0.0,0.0,0.07770208327821211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331720827459175,0.07989465233409235,0.0,0.2820836891357848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786043075740216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087405328217594,0.09842660196989576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106862643856814,0.0,0.39365479835287737,0.0,0.11858592409017615,0.0,0.13095415973550434,0.0,0.09999145271889004,0.2338594090890745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691855916431887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554860831332853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939436580593613,0.0,0.06493773200368383,0.09583755072609518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726578423518927,0.2429103415771902,0.0,0.0,0.15317483010999106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125250610110707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925984957785613,0.113387411478634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141326998401784,0.0558226452438739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959513086373296,0.0,0.0,0.09714147268721357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090760151280948,0.0,0.0,0.11937947835822416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624553951135524,0.0,0.21866661941982832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639833563869806,0.11748037397061235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086573446660226,0.0,0.0,0.09105202638687254,0.0,0.0,0.1290835450328336,0.0,0.09451871331488784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249957349804374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987003081445556,0.10519710487649607,0.0,0.13266699739464918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998812862470832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069586305633613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318410227863449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358098657169879
mentalhealth,helpwouldbappreciatd,2018/03/06,"Worried about my husband I woke up last night my husband sitting up in bed saying that he couldn’t sleep. He was staring at his phone and said he wanted to go grocery shopping. It was around 1 am and he had work in the morning. 

We have a one year old son. My husband was up researching foods for one year olds and was getting worried that we weren’t doing enough for him. I calmed him and told him it was all ok, our son is very healthy and happy and we will look into it in the morning. 

When I woke up, I started thinking about some of the patterns I’ve seen that have gotten stronger since having a child. He has yelled at me for doing things the “wrong” way - laying a towel down in the wrong direction, not washing a baby blanket separate from the rest of the clothes, leaving our sons socks on for too long after he gets home, feeding him too many snacks at a time (admittedly a mistake on my part), using a hand towel to give our son a bath, picking out the wrong onesie for bed, fastening his diaper differently than he does, not letting him “air dry” after a bath for a while before putting on lotion and clothes. The list is endless. 

Conversely, he tells me thinks I worry about aren’t important. I brought up a choking hazard and he told me it’s fine, he lets him do it all the time. I told him months ago about bringing more variety into our sons diet and he kinda shrugged and kept doing what he was doing. It came to a head last night, and he felt bad, but I kinda felt annoyed at the same time...

My voice doesn’t seem to count unless it’s quelling some beyond irrational fear or anxiety. Even mild anxieties are more trustworthy to him than my opinion. 

When I bring this up to him tonight, he flips out on me and says I’m insecure, paranoid, and making things up in my head. Am I? I think I see it clearly but I don’t know. I think he’s maybe going off the deep end a bit and it’s starting to scare me. He’s always been particular and eccentric but I’m getting nervous. 

He loves our son more than anything in this world. I do think he’d be capable of anything if it meant saving his kid - even if it meant hurting me. ",4.171400862068964,4.8749385810185215,4.915025542784164,86.35666666666668,70.59722222222223,7.625287356321839,29.016922094508306,7.6298220110432995,1.6267682630906777,1665,61,347,18,29,538,216,432,0.11,0.8170000000000001,0.073,-0.9241,5,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,8,0,0,1,12,17,1,4,25,1,33,10,4,3,3,62,74,25,0,5,9,9,3,0,0,1,1,5,5,2,19,24,4,1,12,3,1,7,7,11,0,2,24,12,49,6,56,44,12,64,0,1,4,1,61,32,0,9,23,224,68,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811887153436466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620994168421172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013169215080706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074098724491436,0.08153422352691779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647354789270784,0.0,0.0,0.07793606240149491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999219700651754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475418154338813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956917102135562,0.0,0.0,0.0801507365335992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112126145954301,0.09463661151495427,0.0,0.12098822511304345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306384104273568,0.0,0.0,0.17588089079191296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075059128191696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435554654487969,0.08786115622373744,0.10410503912867868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974989057289166,0.0,0.0,0.1879948479809401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187190574900772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980486349423944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503352867929473,0.149315609052951,0.0,0.09698023494236116,0.0,0.1873132838376754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105397488578261,0.0769122544930462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266325215110214,0.0,0.06113681524753624,0.09285754877562348,0.09201413297555204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310599996097393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190139976103438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221590110124687,0.0,0.12412706011606373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918268615392976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920729145581321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712274902021583,0.14567156182117855,0.09169723659284576,0.0,0.07298510802019634,0.0833797947692006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576392063924067,0.0,0.09165581394050598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965527822262074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005340766390978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169621264996665,0.29343480825836865,0.0,0.0,0.16022001757516552,0.0,0.0,0.2625535610894777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910406702812722,0.0,0.07557106895206897,0.05402195976909089,0.07269961608571061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667836984289804,0.2790412641432111,0.0,0.0,0.3004167751174851,0.0,0.1179614878717805
mentalhealth,ahugefailureinlife,2018/03/06,"Is quitting without notice after nine months due to mental health a bad decision? I've been wanting to leave and thought about giving my two weeks this week. There is a new manager and ever since we have got this new manager things have went downhill drastically. My hours were cut to the point it isn't worth anything and I'm criticized for things that are not even in my control. Today was my breaking point since the coworkers were taking it out on me because of the fact that things are falling apart and the department is hardly filled, etc. (even though my job is in the back and has nothing to do with filling the department.) I've had a case where I was sexually harassed though I never reported it (can't now since the old manager left.) My anxiety has been through the roof and depression is hitting me to the point it's affecting other areas of my life. Am I justified for quitting without notice? I'm at the end of my rope on everything.",5.729918032786884,6.645969491803278,6.090833333333336,78.55625000000003,67.19672131147541,9.597267759562843,33.2827868852459,9.725611199111238,3.203816393442623,759,33,140,16,12,244,110,183,0.117,0.855,0.027000000000000003,-0.929,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,3,10,4,2,0,13,0,22,2,0,2,3,20,31,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,2,0,1,6,6,4,0,2,10,1,14,0,22,20,1,35,0,1,0,0,2,13,0,0,15,103,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921883300744012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916785899452388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266325361003876,0.1006191899475022,0.07346059009501711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351600275300921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379340876241994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673436554860127,0.0,0.13439833304821078,0.15918886385577652,0.10900643241506358,0.0,0.0,0.1083048668973728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560230446593928,0.0,0.0,0.09638129795024272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795154456160834,0.0,0.0,0.12809442425919346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867615690098887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958564709341915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760062727192115,0.13093235129785016,0.0,0.0851184011028456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144377280337405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618837753801593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929432389287404,0.23277485546170096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563072618903893,0.2743984322630377,0.1264529291289811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417571828710291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563502942504041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29905651818309953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060705782893676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401805854561293,0.0,0.23679709883258135,0.09566993255267893,0.0,0.0,0.11422754283210912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771885647724885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107877143308,0.0,0.193328581053946,0.0,0.0,0.11171217169148606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23233092392769664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iwtkm678,2018/03/06,"Does any else feel this way in similar situations? I work at a school. And there is a ton of kids who say they suffer from mental health issues, and their parents do everything for them, fight for them, help them, seek every resource and accommodation available. Everything. And teachers are willing and so caring. There are even on campus emotional support counselors. And it makes me think about myself, how no one cared. It almost makes me feel jelous. How I came to school and came home and no one noticed something was wrong. That I was too quiet. That I was hurting myself. That it didn't matter even when I tried to kill myself. It was nothing after two weeks, everyone forgot, no one asked if I was ok, when I wasn't. Even when I dropped out of school, no one noticed that I was gone or if there was any connection. I know it's selfish, but I can't help but think, that even the slightest feeling of being sad is from these kids is taken so seriously, even if it was caused by an outside factor. It fucks me up, why no one cared. But, I guess why even expect anyone to care about me? I'm sorry. I just need to let this out. ",3.1248079658605974,5.027440423423425,3.84972498814604,88.2728236130868,74.94594594594595,6.295305832147938,23.395922238027506,7.0608816371341465,0.7749063063063057,882,26,177,9,19,280,125,222,0.153,0.7440000000000001,0.103,-0.8272,1,0,1,0,1,2,33.0,0,0,5,1,20,15,3,0,4,1,20,2,0,5,0,37,43,22,1,5,8,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,16,12,0,1,6,0,0,3,8,9,0,6,15,5,25,6,21,25,1,16,0,3,0,1,14,6,1,6,5,131,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095798706008763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011643096020092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689400448438902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943762104948952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188397489279372,0.3901637750779291,0.0982784386721173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372060571222703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991919176454314,0.1076147728689726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791309198861239,0.0,0.08060527706923855,0.09141585017166903,0.17196229610695488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511939592066542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844446909876216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539021337498544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016916965281994,0.0,0.0,0.12824985744259795,0.0,0.09596382927834043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024156665509019,0.0,0.0,0.09985360320623644,0.0,0.0,0.10584359811845498,0.0,0.05257719244086618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782805660346364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771962991742716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964118724182013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093736747479103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179700666094476,0.21783963090418287,0.0,0.0,0.3241390256544475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062291270852115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607984603861219,0.0,0.2904664728748304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753598892032347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736506869760894,0.0,0.1070936374089895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856407225208413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260169249545708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495298594819192,0.0,0.09345473308274682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593761650824771,0.07673991865166711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265282368793405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964818731030864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459905700474093,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rachelb09,2018/03/06,"Intrusive thoughts I was just wondering if anyone else struggles with intrusive thoughts? I have had these bizarre intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager, I feel like I have no control over them. It's always negative thoughts, like something stupid that happened years ago. I feel like I dwell on the negativity and anger. How do I stop them? And is it possible to do so without medicine? ",4.1400000000000015,7.277122071428575,3.6682142857142885,84.34803571428574,78.28571428571428,7.5,35.89285714285714,8.472884824447931,3.4741428571428568,315,19,55,7,8,94,49,70,0.295,0.594,0.111,-0.9417,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,1,3,7,2,2,2,0,8,0,0,2,0,16,16,5,0,1,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,7,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,2,10,3,5,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778898661708047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574995839165146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235188537701525,0.19394398994361806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122982800038452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812262682394748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19141551676085689,0.27044928269158963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738335709836802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774240376138281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21338944933432252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156577812721727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572019354698146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825003290013195,0.0,0.1978809014747059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6010819174920828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824631751076434,0.2052705966230472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189279277343527
mentalhealth,psychosispatient,2018/03/07,"How do I tell someone I care about? I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia and having psychosis syndrome a while back and ran into a whole host of drama because of it. Check my post history if you want the full story. This is a throwaway I made for that purpose but decided to go ahead and use it here. 

Recently I moved into a more stable home situation, seeing a psychiatrist regularly, and generally doing much better. I have not had a psychotic episode since moving back to Texas. The meds help me ignore the other symptoms I experience which I will not go into here. 

I met a guy at coffee shop near the psychiatrists office and we hit it off. Being going out with him for a month. By the way I do not drink coffee or caffeine, I go there for their teas. Things are going really well with this guy and I do not want to screw it up. 

My family tells me to just tell the guy and that if he really likes me, he will stay. I am not so sure that is a good idea. From the reactions of some of my old friends when I came back to Texas, I am scared to death of ruining this. 

How have any of you broken the news to your partners?",4.080526315789474,5.07494560526316,5.493815789473686,81.0554605263158,71.01754385964912,8.857894736842105,26.092105263157894,9.188382445141503,1.9895736842105256,890,27,180,18,16,300,138,228,0.107,0.755,0.139,0.7015,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,3,1,2,13,12,1,1,17,0,17,5,0,4,1,39,32,16,1,4,10,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,1,4,13,16,2,1,2,3,2,9,5,5,1,0,6,1,27,7,31,22,5,30,0,2,1,1,18,9,1,4,10,139,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269627163858667,0.0,0.09302828143848524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28052259637038696,0.0,0.07412990824848545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755065287361956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908490410561794,0.12398545398639882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473909695530256,0.12342756243949912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912761521529905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895403341961465,0.11463934407432926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395251847332756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34555755127843363,0.10199736987289122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612272709170445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150995973696143,0.0,0.121980764995129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372784079088119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941056455517564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506656755278942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507688715689342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970647743537179,0.25849593339335897,0.08939442550567399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760507398537008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164649634046344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580787567904866,0.0,0.1200712856922477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217488521256181,0.0,0.0969042629188285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059376610574597,0.13669027478011891,0.0,0.0,0.1030363960753762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296158496482383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461224577620376,0.12639522910630613,0.0,0.0,0.31886709525722795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078964398870739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502856702111177,0.0,0.0,0.14345277645970594,0.09652520770837443,0.0,0.0,0.10933842684064976,0.0,0.0,0.1357687916472355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stonebolt,2018/03/07,"Here's my stance on modafinil as a compassionate mental health treatment. I’d like to explain some thoughts I’ve had on modafinil.

I suspect modafinil is extremely underused by the medical community and general public. Modafinil’s only FDA sanctioned medical use is for sleep disorders such as narcolepsy and hypersomnia. Such disorders apparently affect 5% of the population, which would account for several million people in the United States alone*. However anyone who isn’t hearing about this drug for the first time also knows that currently modafinil’s most common use is to help relatively healthy people think and focus.

However studies on modafinil support the idea that it is also effective treatment for ADD, depression and cocaine addiction. For example, this article links to nine studies (including one meta-analysis) showing that modafinil is effective for treating depression**. I know through personal experience that modafinil helps with hypersomnia, depression, and ADD. I don’t think anyone should consider it surprising that a medication that treats one of these illnesses could treat them all. Hypersomnia, depression, and ADD are all largely related to dysregulation in the brain’s ability to regulate feeling energetic, alert, and attentive which is exactly the sort of problem modafinil treats. Modafinil provides relief for people in a way that safer and less likely to cause dependence than many other drugs on the market.

The type of depression I can imagine modafinil being most effective for is illustrated by this meme***.  The meme is intended as a joke but it’s more than a joke for some people. I can hopefully imagine that someday soon people who go to their doctor to report suicidal thoughts will be asked if they are most likely to have them first thing in the morning when they hear an alarm ring. If they say yes modafinil will be prescribed as a first line treatment.

I worry that one roadblock to making modafinil available to those who need it is stigma. Modafinil is a lot less popular than a few other wakefulness-promoting drugs, like adderall, ritalin, and of course caffeine. However modafinil is unique in that it is the only non-recreational stimulant other than caffeine to have an actual fandom. Despite the fact that the majority of people haven’t heard of modafinil, anyone who has heard of it knows that many of its users love it. And those users have certain stereotypes associated with them that I’d rather not mention in detail.

Consider fandoms like Twilight, Justin Bieber, Nickelback, My Little Pony, Rick And Morty, Steven Universe, and so on. What these fandoms have in common is that they have all attracted anti-fandoms that are eager to stigmatize people who enjoy things. Anti-fans confidently proclaim that people who like things they don’t like are losers, and they base their claims on purely anecdotal evidence. I recently came across an article that described Rick and Morty fans as “a step above basement dwelling goblins.” If anti-fans are this offended by people watching cartoons, it’s reasonable to suggest they’ll be much more aggressive about people taking drugs. This means modafinil, a drug plagued by pretty serious stereotypes, is likely to be a prime target for stigmatization. It’s only so long before journalists start writing “thoughtful thinkpieces” to “politely explain” how most people who use modafinil are ugly dorks and narcissistic douchebags.

I suspect there is another roadblock slowing modafinil’s widespread adoption as a treatment for sleep-disorders and sleep related depression. People suffering from illness, disability, or other biological divergences often blamed. Far too many of us are told that our problems are due to personal failures. Overweight people and people with attention problems are told they’re lazy. Depressed people are often told they’re wussies. In a similar way, I suspect people who are too tired to function are generally stigmatized as irresponsible. Some people are going to speak out against modafinil by arguing that people only use it because they’re too immature to go to bed on time. This is despite the fact that only five percent of people suffering from excessive daytime sleepiness are willfully sleep deprived*.

Overall I’m writing this to say that I think modafinil is a safe and effective medicine that is likely to help millions of people. It could save people’s live. Or at the very least it could help make people’s lives worth living. Nobody deserves to feel disappointed that they didn’t die in their sleep. But I’m worried that stereotypes and stigma will arise to keep modafinil away from the people who need it, and we should be ready to tell people that shaming people for needing modafinil as medicine is unacceptable.


*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16522270

**https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/06/07/provigil-modafinil-for-depression-an-effective-off-label-treatment/

***https://cdn.dopl3r.com/memes_files/when-your-alarm-goes-off-you-have-to-go-to-work-because-you-didnt-die-in-your-sleep-zvthw.jpg",10.007506104090812,12.649971027329194,7.911378239451704,63.06253105590062,58.602484472049674,10.669736560291284,40.58738487898908,10.741989942450374,5.171645534375667,4187,215,545,103,58,1234,364,805,0.134,0.735,0.13,-0.9428,5,1,6,0,0,0,143.0,3,0,14,8,19,51,3,3,34,1,64,22,5,17,8,118,107,41,2,17,9,0,2,9,0,8,16,8,1,2,69,29,1,2,29,3,2,5,6,23,0,10,11,11,29,28,97,79,20,45,0,12,1,1,54,22,0,18,24,365,98,5,0.0,0.0,0.03905054845781205,0.04362413396868454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144525586384176,0.0,0.0640027166897057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04196102242655154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394186794729687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03741023346573438,0.0,0.0375970278463431,0.0,0.0,0.024393822476426387,0.0,0.03405128328428857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044671896382390816,0.0,0.04576846970497296,0.0,0.04110819688883878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585028963632193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412644098024692,0.0,0.08306207978943847,0.0,0.13758789183661338,0.040958810901121634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320334668465966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039144032990925184,0.0,0.0,0.040467314299384695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211461057106876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096970181610273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253590451093806,0.09020350865911177,0.0,0.10728946169576424,0.0,0.0,0.0397456344468492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045174008595139786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035568701414431934,0.0,0.0,0.06597643210223363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595134262311066,0.040107268488667865,0.10600649672476953,0.035413539959653566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034020786265801524,0.03611665420940953,0.0,0.0534229457056362,0.12171202653867005,0.0,0.04358994186048002,0.0,0.12093791315497428,0.04032744401863867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02941689525444796,0.08901567754831306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134909996127022,0.15217260255961848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.69356391623864,0.06988211674540241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04071139282397513,0.0,0.1148717965194058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041143855273327735,0.03951168559220237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364580741177607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04520750586244756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24027373123333595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028324041990457464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377179919088259,0.04541050221689125,0.0,0.0,0.030087595007493768,0.0,0.034976379075883905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975599646453688,0.0769232994862077,0.0,0.0953064227228432,0.0466681451278196,0.04599333555627918,0.0,0.1147130790352206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813518976653198,0.13824639902579652,0.0,0.033017986766214216,0.0,0.06352682303195421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029132650412314567,0.08127784785428781,0.0,0.02842673136757888,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kadielizard,2018/03/07,"Do I have signs of having Bi-Polar? Hey everyone. I know Reddit shouldn't be the first place to ask, but being that I'm snowed in and my therapist is away, I'd figure I'd give it a go.

I'm a 28 year old gal. Good physical health and see my therapist once a week. 

My mom died 7 years ago. It all started then. I don't ever like being alone. I've gotten much better. I don't have a choice. My boyfriend travels a lot for work and I moved from my house 2 weeks after she died. 

Sadness and depression are definitely not liked at my table, but I seem to let them have a seat anyway.

It's gotten worse lately that it's got me really concerned. I have these bouts of anger and frustration. I can't breathe. It hurts. It hurts my body and my brain. It tires me out. I am not suicidal, but lately I've had more of an understanding of suicide. I can understand why some people opt out that way.

Then it can just go away and I'll be fine. My breathing will calm. My head will stop hurting. 

I definitely have a clinical depression, per my doctor's observations. But we never talked about this area of myself in particular. Partly because I have just started noticing. I had felt this way, but it must've been hiding in the back of my brain. I don't know anymore.

I'm just tired of waking up just to look forward to going back to sleep.

I'm tired of hating food. I've lost 80 pounds. I have been having a love/hate relationship with food. Just like suicide, I can understand why someone who has an eating disorder feels the way they do. Maybe there is some control in that. I'm not sure. I eat. But it's just to get by.

Maybe I am still bitter about my mom. I am definitely unfulfilled as a person. I feel I'm not going anywhere in life. I have drive, but when reality hits, I back up. I start to feel worthless. 

This has been weighing on my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. It's not fair to him. He's amazing and deserves more than what I throw at him.

I'm just sad and I don't want to be.",0.37166370896184375,2.640242074879229,2.4693532485457967,92.40711180124224,87.18840579710144,5.601814058956918,19.31854480922804,7.043009809895983,0.3211476486246676,1545,45,342,23,49,518,207,414,0.239,0.6729999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9972,1,1,0,0,0,2,57.0,1,0,2,5,17,22,4,0,14,0,42,20,8,1,4,56,78,20,5,2,19,2,4,3,0,3,7,0,0,1,21,14,5,2,11,1,0,9,12,13,0,1,10,7,49,9,42,58,8,52,0,9,2,0,17,17,0,4,28,216,70,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762035891595651,0.0,0.0,0.07900627813845565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565232996339694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131439410407826,0.0,0.14334095313422462,0.17597096856494515,0.0,0.04650146520422535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746619630945677,0.0,0.08473331906693256,0.0,0.17031431931096236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555797481429492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314050317251943,0.0,0.15833961310703967,0.0,0.08742703295675111,0.07807897764958965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611329561367746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690024245303422,0.0,0.0728917640026941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571307098056105,0.0,0.07324373166558544,0.0,0.0,0.06488635958143903,0.1844836366960369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03985476740581896,0.07317769339584677,0.17341375783677382,0.06398263883138773,0.06101055773135284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531376098778204,0.07828846066238837,0.08108536025697133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880204468761437,0.2449878850020432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384638541624752,0.0,0.17210130218139574,0.0,0.0,0.07800463050325401,0.053881004250083665,0.11180419748390803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405858538149861,0.0,0.08327200676099628,0.06485315740443633,0.06884846934648732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327323928729414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786836721442385,0.0,0.08107685505175723,0.05607685029326533,0.0,0.058834223703111636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868488065061102,0.0800462734679632,0.08123900398954614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260715553374298,0.0,0.052885091459601616,0.06660745406699381,0.07969959572009333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886890244857128,0.0,0.0,0.1637989865663078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607877483829622,0.06944526249451674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633818331966194,0.0,0.06463441679716066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198069667044993,0.0,0.06091977627527269,0.06377608112974634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503239661149677,0.0,0.07189591198568836,0.0,0.0,0.061313460265623676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714110001426048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630285796820184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238240168938405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04499374443193665,0.18164990461889466,0.12237939108893887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766725195933133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055534999927308135,0.0,0.0777389883884904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737143175109224
mentalhealth,UlsterRose,2018/03/07,"Had constant depersonalization for 7 years, what do I do? I've had constant depersonalization/derealization for 7 years. This isn't in episodes like a lot of people say. For me, this is constant.

I first experienced it when I was sitting in class in junior high, when I randomly, completely out of the blue, just started feeling as though I was in a dream or that I had just woke up from passing out. From then on, when I'd hold my hands out in front of me, it'd feel like they weren't my own hands, like someone else was holding theirs in front of me. Now it's like there's times where I feel somewhat blinded, especially when I'm doing something involving repetitive actions or something I kind of breeze through. I feel like I'm going blind/numb every few seconds typing this. I'm also like that when I'm walking between classes in school. But it's definitely only been getting worse over the past few years.

I had a brain scan done a few years ago, but the results of that turned up just fine. I've been taking anti-anxiety medication for a while now, which seems to have had no effect on the problem, even though my anxiety is basically gone. I've never done any drugs or drank even a sip of alcohol, so it's frustrating when I look up guides for getting rid of DP/DR and realize they only apply to people who got it from smoking weed.

I know this disorder is not well known about at all, but any help on this would be great. For any questions where location might be relevant, I live in the UK.

Thanks.",6.769916107382549,6.189214338926178,7.116703020134227,77.21250419463091,65.00671140939598,10.134563758389262,34.06124161073827,9.516144504307137,2.917254362416107,1195,46,239,20,16,390,162,298,0.111,0.821,0.069,-0.7967,0,0,4,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,3,2,22,13,1,0,11,0,26,8,3,2,2,35,48,20,0,2,10,0,6,6,0,2,4,1,0,0,17,4,2,2,10,1,0,7,5,2,1,2,17,12,22,11,42,26,7,54,0,0,4,0,8,22,0,9,30,159,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464773036897092,0.11410775456236452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538624669159882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21782769289399187,0.0,0.16336194702303694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919386432238345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194935045767386,0.3461507077929933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223709896679815,0.0,0.0,0.21853148759229968,0.0,0.0,0.12382266169684066,0.0,0.0891950541606221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410449821733238,0.0,0.08996077031164883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21595033838740105,0.15255715707427378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082097115043483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115688629819999,0.0,0.06068149761821188,0.0,0.08539603915729876,0.11771749524519008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156762179469207,0.11281142730720363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118754096611402,0.058679591520307425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31298306330281983,0.0,0.0942824237095672,0.0,0.08966234155221388,0.0,0.0,0.09077449830191713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756246006537312,0.0,0.11326916992138868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234984005986712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241119819775515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019268112385577,0.14804576483327697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216724187991368,0.0,0.0,0.11961008011640265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491009278395192,0.0,0.10805987151056984,0.0,0.0972020347918092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046832864606093,0.16439798423271432,0.0,0.0,0.07557440564360911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027993005740623,0.0,0.0,0.09830213763307524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20980765723534167,0.0,0.06226013454776154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161382506966139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960016567915181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088107033163671,0.07584840215316373,0.0,0.0,0.2750329784318877
mentalhealth,heyx_kid,2018/03/07,"Medication question Apologies in advance if this isn't the right place to ask, but I have a question about the medication Abilify, which is an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer.

A little backstory, I was put on Abilify along with Zoloft in April 2016. The dosage fluctuated a bit over time, but it never went above 5mg. I recently stopped Abilify and Zoloft altogether because of weight gain. I gained weight over a period of about a year and a half, but I felt remarkably better and I've been in a very low period since stopping. And I know it's the Abilify that works because I tried Zoloft and Gabapentin and Zoloft and Topamax with no success. My doctor changed me over to Effexor and Trazodone but I feel horrible.

The question is if I were to start Abilify again, would it potentially cause me to gain more weight? Or would it maybe not because my body has already had that side effect with this medication?

TL;DR: I took abilify for almost two years, then stopped due to weight gain. If I start again, will I gain more weight?",5.232812500000001,7.183298739583333,5.504083333333337,78.39925000000005,69.41666666666666,9.495,31.55,9.888512548439397,3.2417225,826,36,151,21,15,262,109,192,0.084,0.7609999999999999,0.155,0.9609,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,10,4,4,0,0,13,0,12,14,1,2,1,37,20,18,0,5,9,0,7,0,0,3,8,0,0,0,9,13,5,3,7,0,0,4,4,1,0,2,7,7,16,2,21,10,3,33,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,8,17,98,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221162485132287,0.0,0.11264037997570935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954247186748952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186668734587056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027550305621958,0.11143756253765348,0.11338038043977122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485735479150764,0.10797997402878702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447630622454436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051611306917989895,0.0,0.09800633626204093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609679392757192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230422154021404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254630865989167,0.0,0.0,0.3084842106241526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872519027689834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664483090178647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026118185344712,0.34303623331945715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078502946153174,0.0,0.0,0.08717000582072132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443605498319916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449595676279026,0.0,0.0,0.2560134462242584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595197384156975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340714697121353,0.0693010428773699,0.0,0.09971074262277058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422112899304128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6214886563501651,0.0,0.09462293410498177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431054854002674,0.0,0.0,0.14501982972560867,0.0,0.0,0.13146366491866732
mentalhealth,owplus001,2018/03/07,"I think that there is something wrong with me, but I'm not sure what, what do I do? I want to get help, but I have no idea what may be wrong with me and I'm deeply afraid things may stay the same forever. What should I do?",-0.5101999999999975,1.1143643800000014,0.8180000000000014,107.009,85.2,4.800000000000002,14.0,5.6839178017228535,-1.4363999999999997,169,2,48,1,5,53,33,50,0.219,0.688,0.093,-0.7784,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,9,0,0,0,1,14,14,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,3,10,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050934116797305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059225399666932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468130585561757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365123335781691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274547682962853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895504406784854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410277157351586,0.19685364511363915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120583171176352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6717918889283051,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LadyActionFigure,2018/03/07,"Hi, First Post. Hope this is the right place to ask for guidance. Hi guys, I'm wondering if you had any wise words or insight for me. 

Me: USA, late 40s, F, 10 years on Lexapro, 2 years on Wellbutrin... perfect mix for me.

Backstory: Last week, I had been having some interesting physical weirdness culminating in about 5 days of me sporadically feeling freezing cold and getting blue lips. Add to that fatigue, a bit of brain fog, and just a little too high heart rate on my running sprints. I already had a doctors appointment scheduled for a prescription refill and just mentioned it all to him. To be safe he ordered blood tests. I figured it would come back as me being Anemic or something . Instead very early the next morning I was told to get to the ER immediately. One of the blood tests that has something to do with clotting suggested a possible blood clot, the Dr suspected in my lungs. 

Long story short, got there, did an EKG, cat scan of ye olde lungs, more blood tests etc. And great news no clot! Lowish blood pressure (101/50) and very very low Vitamin D levels (9). I was completely overjoyed. The call, the rush to the hospital, the IV, the tests et al really had me scared shitless.

Anyhow, I am feeling so SAD today like I can barely hold back my tears. My head hurts, my eyes hurt. It's hard to think well. I muscled my way through a workout barely holding back the tears. Feeling the same here at my desk at work. Why am I so sad? What is wrong... I should be dancing on air. Instead all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and hide. And cry, but nothing wants to come past my eyes. 

Any insight would be so helpful. Thank you in advance.",2.831645833333333,5.055039706250003,3.615000000000002,88.14333333333337,76.9375,6.266666666666668,27.541666666666664,7.3011,1.4690916666666674,1286,54,254,16,30,408,206,320,0.095,0.8,0.104,0.7855,0,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,0,3,0,4,15,19,0,2,20,0,25,18,13,0,3,43,42,15,0,7,6,0,5,1,0,3,5,0,0,1,7,11,0,3,9,2,0,6,1,10,2,2,10,10,29,9,34,25,7,45,0,6,4,0,14,19,0,7,18,149,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792349821568494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766271899302706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083720050640154,0.0,0.0,0.26741202720741275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265574817442906,0.0,0.0,0.12940798633095607,0.1183699600609206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971415222234515,0.12154266577516712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273355591898075,0.07476050245989496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186517177568025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292843685551511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758418853839916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860372478076067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112957305155225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927139121699761,0.12780510223581387,0.0,0.11478162311862072,0.0,0.0,0.10384390160698197,0.0,0.11897005593255308,0.0,0.0,0.1373688676211433,0.07770049134322211,0.12247861688132848,0.0,0.115137322024245,0.0,0.0,0.24819513318556016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449241057092066,0.1307657691398606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056633938623111515,0.11618492324403396,0.0,0.102587874394249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328502576932975,0.0,0.0,0.11123088420717944,0.0,0.12164129363513144,0.0,0.07855217014377264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066126155488888,0.0,0.0,0.12111446923846188,0.0,0.0,0.13068534089942765,0.11102182984770817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426300132200908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899728753110562,0.0,0.0,0.11605876951923118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17848579889047778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672597751104096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427853672797556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988109310372364,0.1107690350155164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286944915672008,0.13674833420895613,0.09201398320095468,0.09298613665192144,0.0,0.1042283607503857,0.0,0.10460213757626632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571314083238996,0.08439305092557964,0.0,0.0,0.16469621225659406,0.12674319153834113,0.0,0.14930073840550925
mentalhealth,sdwils,2018/03/07,"Stuck in a vicious cycle I apologize if this is the wrong place to ask this but I’m confused about my situation. 

So this started back in December when I became obsessed with my weight. So I started restricting and obsessing over losing weight, constantly looking at thinspo and weighing myself constantly, along with keeping a very detailed journal of my eating and progress and even reading books about girls with eating disorders. I also constantly look for tricks to lose more and I hate my body. This goes on for about three weeks. 

Then I turn into the complete opposite and I binge and binge for like two weeks it’s like I can’t even control myself. Then it’s like something snaps and I just hear that little voice in my head “you aren’t going to eat anymore” and I don’t. Then the cycle starts all over again. 

I tried talking to my therapist about it but she doesn’t seem concerned at all. So am I just being dramatic about all of this? Or is there really something to it?
",3.816737967914438,6.1607971978609655,4.222994652406417,84.37802139037436,74.34759358288771,7.180748663101605,28.11229946524065,8.124751697461798,2.0457508021390374,784,32,142,13,17,246,109,187,0.162,0.764,0.075,-0.9441,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,4,17,12,3,3,5,0,8,8,2,1,3,28,22,21,0,1,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,10,14,6,3,1,2,0,1,4,9,0,2,1,6,22,3,28,20,4,26,0,2,2,0,7,11,0,4,17,107,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456746150604274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727591990706625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055127020168916,0.0,0.0,0.09092981549224947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135323056357154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398678124675315,0.3833708003671288,0.13263160839311586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552901437020065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630092495831118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621094074402778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720631732257519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167510717221334,0.1213624384963689,0.0,0.13328054298361644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105109344596625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331839106264935,0.11852129925368204,0.0,0.0,0.1986066928062996,0.2645913412593155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354997405654965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828572657199204,0.0,0.07575636457301174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765375033621033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292214202520305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820749903875079,0.0,0.0,0.2511017865332842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504786513271188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730168963449868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028651719159373,0.12862609586060875,0.11551670681111495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975717080154258,0.0,0.0,0.1897120111775272,0.2880023596801128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929188498176186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_like_cactus,2018/03/07,"Venting post & seeking advice I am looking for advice on what sort of help might make a difference in my life. I have so many insecurities and no support that I feel comfortable talking to about 
the issues that I live with.

The worst part is, I know my mom wants to help me and I know she would be really helpful and supportive but for some reason I just don't want to open myself up to her. She already knows most of my insecurities but I don't think she knows just how much they fuck with my life.

I have gone through CBT 2 times for a phobia that I have which pretty much destroyed my life for a year when I was 16 (in my mid 20's now). The CBT / exposure therapy was not helpful at all and the only thing that helped was medication. The medication basically took away the symptoms that prohibited me from leaving my house.

My mom told me to go to therapy and that she was willing to pay for it. She said that on Christmas without me even mentioning or hinting about my insecurities becoming worse. Maybe she sensed it.

I appreciate her offer but I don't think therapy will work for me. I know for a fact that I am happy to open up to a professional and really talk about my issues but what I will NOT do, is actively try and expose myself to situations that will help me overcome my insecurities. My main insecurity is how skinny  I am, and it has gotten to the point where I won't wear t shirts or do anything that requires me to take my shirt off. 

When I was 18-20 which was about 2-4 years into not wearing t shirts, I tried multiple times to go to work in a t shirt. The first time I did it, my boss and all my coworkers all commented to my face about how skinny I am. At lunch I walked to subway and a fucking bum walked right up to me and said ""wow your a skinny guy"". The cashier at subway could not stop commenting and making shocked expressions about how skinny I am. I tried doing this maybe 5 times after this happened but I just refuse to wear t shirts now. I physically feel like I am having a bad trip on LSD or shrooms whenever I wear a t shirt.

So now I just accept that I will never wear a t shirt again. I will never swim, nor will I ever travel anywhere hot. 

What I am doing to try and improve my situation is eat / workout at home. I eat 2500 - 3000 calories a day which is a surplus and I workout at home 3 times a week.

Does anyone have any recommendations on other things that I could do to maybe get over the mental distress that I experience? Sometimes I get so depressed that I can't eat. Does my unwillingness to confront my insecurities physically mean therapy will not be helpful?",5.200439285714285,5.399997893333335,6.3844375000000015,78.51065625000003,68.16190476190475,9.457738095238096,30.120535714285715,9.354420925462401,2.4252107142857144,2054,72,421,38,32,693,231,525,0.136,0.765,0.099,-0.967,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,1,4,26,22,4,7,24,0,49,29,17,8,7,75,80,32,0,5,18,2,3,1,0,11,6,2,2,1,29,19,8,3,12,4,1,9,15,15,0,1,13,6,79,7,61,52,10,56,0,1,1,2,31,25,2,7,22,304,108,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980850295344685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894186801344735,0.0,0.0,0.07750933721725338,0.0,0.04864700280633322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050019706194897234,0.0,0.05886811712145856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721052316310806,0.0,0.059729657557928424,0.0,0.07900600495197516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142315138689743,0.0,0.0,0.04613486810575988,0.0,0.06161394029691581,0.0,0.0,0.0747400014735455,0.0,0.0,0.12520345081633452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21959787572544726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047248921056222734,0.06470850026878841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997603498835983,0.0,0.0,0.07234160572966981,0.051105405949900096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608485722783548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226794816615195,0.07474932206933993,0.0,0.08131123124998431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083198840702447,0.06325913922666287,0.07615151136483682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33564399132505884,0.0,0.14351308709467547,0.0,0.0,0.08254305771298348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933021078274333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19657185563307356,0.0,0.0,0.07574640359463472,0.0,0.0,0.15158419439882131,0.034948926274118844,0.0,0.06316768914711837,0.0,0.06007230930782994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550180786802186,0.07252637994275013,0.21560289032870214,0.07792378719578191,0.0,0.1441301946636181,0.07209156589188448,0.07588850004097178,0.0,0.16756443741899654,0.0,0.0,0.10517453283627604,0.0,0.11034610468310968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054406429523755406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746662791114747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762473941435143,0.0,0.06851181183047561,0.07277793397874438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916557181505485,0.0735510277346705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109144070461029,0.13609443024099702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081915300578478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075103458786748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980738490010268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235664284795856,0.0,0.07435340122604214,0.053786246334098606,0.11499601896840135,0.0,0.0,0.3272310707616916,0.0,0.0950508157131346,0.09167489201593597,0.0,0.0,0.2085663833529391,0.0,0.0,0.06835581159161629,0.0794792420792061,0.19427327149284646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843876934320624,0.0,0.057381946468348925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895825007912883,0.0,0.10415826928351447,0.0,0.07290139999095224,0.050817194775090314,0.0,0.0,0.09213380926814606
mentalhealth,earthmother92,2018/03/07,"Need help and advice regarding Ayurveda medicine for anxiety Hello everyone!

Today I am writing to you regarding a set of pills my sister gave to me. Doctor prescribed me Rivotril but I dont like it since I became a plant with it. These ,,herbal"" pills are from Ayurveda medicine (or something like that). My sister has been taking them since her last visit to India 8 month ago and says they really do help with anxiety. I have been taking them for 3 days now (2 in the evening) and already feel change.

Pills are Mentat from the Himalaya herbal healthcare. http://www.himalayawellness.com/products/pharmaceuticals/mentat-gh.htm

Any experience?",6.358930817610066,10.027066433962268,4.998396226415097,74.95973270440253,73.33962264150944,6.552201257861638,26.757861635220127,7.793537801064563,2.0117446540880506,526,19,77,8,12,154,75,106,0.086,0.863,0.051,-0.3863,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,9,4,0,0,0,10,14,5,0,1,2,2,1,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,13,2,11,11,0,9,0,0,0,0,14,1,0,1,8,48,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776397034352655,0.17939818214378184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233320136454418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137625741168212,0.0,0.30964119491458514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409182957685285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305187380614187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071451095281904,0.0,0.0,0.2371885443005208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367047103905907,0.0,0.0,0.1933833266337656,0.0,0.1979670508710556,0.0,0.0,0.10232970719162401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713028870374392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649671922779551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977458673315273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615382561639267,0.0,0.0,0.15006264317572787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965018824481175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609411681792919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348226308849746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580246565067066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043300343026539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183313563737409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GenKnowledge,2018/03/07,"Losing control of my life Hi,

M(22), I've let the priorities in my life slip away. I quit my job a few months ago to return to college, which I convinced myself I'm ready to do, and I've completely fallen behind, I've missed so many classes and I have so much work to catch up on in order to pass. But every day I just can't bring myself to do work, I'll be distracted by literally anything not to do what I need to do. I'm always tired, sometimes I sleep well and sometimes not, and my stomach is facing problems which I fear might be IBS, making me nervous to attend a class in case it plays up. I stay at home most days with the intention of catching up and I can't do any work. I've always thought I have ADD as I can't concentrate on a single thing. 

My girlfriend thinks I've become distant and unloving, because I've been allocating all my free time to do work but I never do it. My sex drive has become non-existent which is affecting her, in return she is frustrated with me. 

I've been to the doctors before, about a year ago, all I got in 2 visits was information on how to sleep better, which again comes and goes. I've tried eating healthier, which has being going well, but not helping my overall problems. I've tried exercising more but can't keep up the motivation. 

I don't really know what I'm looking for here, I know it's a problem only I can get over, I just don't know how, and every single day my workload piles up. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate hearing it. Cheers x",3.803371735791089,4.4814284032258085,5.4310138248847935,82.41747311827959,71.41935483870971,7.969278033794162,27.34254992319509,8.11559375814309,1.6709001536098311,1175,39,242,16,21,401,164,310,0.103,0.809,0.08800000000000001,-0.3671,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,9,11,17,1,3,9,0,30,11,4,7,3,45,49,18,0,5,10,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,1,0,12,12,1,2,7,2,1,10,10,10,2,0,5,2,32,8,37,39,8,40,0,2,1,1,8,16,0,3,12,155,44,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569930729116007,0.1917666150103342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000682096098602,0.0,0.0,0.14711421379378334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563271452049608,0.0,0.08901202816462382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162623289632826,0.0,0.0,0.06593745373577772,0.23892337930394394,0.0920419470286545,0.0,0.0,0.09566471031281586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317608714137963,0.113410791289887,0.0,0.12131822043172515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927583792403226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071326363365512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068160069643687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822703232199506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171767863965355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651266837356736,0.0,0.061473663164653615,0.0,0.08651084025282575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219118013333665,0.0,0.07250190005827785,0.0,0.10850008098702082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733882020939857,0.09614358742760586,0.0,0.0,0.17833686965610882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060784197650166,0.15280276478919694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083283701753406,0.121010937936004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220215311270882,0.10966411853843797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474784031364428,0.0,0.0,0.08633767691804395,0.0,0.07951501540051126,0.08020428294599195,0.0834248746027001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226569616815267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105029470417631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504866517833467,0.0,0.0,0.06929439707263484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21648975613164792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21395938553352853,0.0,0.0,0.11529137552627215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186118988544929,0.06930889307428521,0.0,0.08587232614709334,0.06307290838231437,0.12432178016901504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468762613731648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450981747290527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149867620163133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965584790634374
mentalhealth,VanDuyneDesigns,2018/03/07,"Sometimes it’s scary to post your truth when it isn’t always beautiful. If this can help one other person, it’s done it’s job.",0.68888888888889,2.90671862962963,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,84.92592592592592,5.0814814814814815,16.407407407407412,6.42735559955562,-0.357237037037037,101,2,22,1,3,33,22,27,0.103,0.611,0.28600000000000003,0.6908,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,14,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33175586533231416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080153220976132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26724465732644725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39565482010303105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27017393879263424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34813526040105314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818507497249443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943310632047127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Luckycharms01,2018/03/07,"My brother talks to people about their trauma but then he manifests their trauma as his own. It’s become chronic where he reimagines old memories and adds traumatic things that never happened. I need guidance on how to help. Michigan. My brother is 18 and I am 24. I love on my own with my girlfriend. My brother has struggled in pretty much everything in his life for a very long time. Fail 7th grade, and recently failed 10th grade. He’s 18 and has dropped out of school entirely. He has a history of mental health diagnosis but he lies to the doctors and therapists so he can get out of talking. 

Growing up, our parents were going through a nasty divorce and latter a big custody battle. I am the oldest, then there is my 20 year old brother whom has severe autism, the 18 year old brother and a 16 year old brother. Now my 18 year old brother has been troubled enough that he has been in a hospital for his mental health for a period of two weeks. 

Now for the details. My brother has memories of events that never actually happened. It will have similarities but in the real memory there wasn’t anything traumatic. For example. There is a memory he has of all of us, Mom and dad included being in the van and at a drive thru Dairy Queen. As he remembers it, everyone got ice cream except for him and he was screamed at for talking too much. That never happened. Not once. He did drop his ice cream from his booster seat one time but he was never left out on any kind of food or treats or even from activities. The memories he has also get more graphic like he thinks in some memory that our father was in a horrible car or work accident and he was in the hospital for a long period of time. Again. That never happened. Dad went in for a surgery one time that took 3 hours total. From walking in the door to discharge. Memories that dad beat mom with a hammer. Never happened. They were physically abusive between each other but never towards us. And never with a hammer. Thrown plates were common but nobody was every seriously hurt. It wasn’t ok but that’s why they divorced. 

My brother also communicates with chats and groups of people that are around his age 14-20 (he being 18) and they talk to each other about stuff that has happened to them. He becomes so immersed in these peoples stories (true or not) that he truly believes that some of those events actually happened to him as well. These groups don’t offer support or how to cope. It’s groups like “had a flashback today and decided to get rid of the pain” proceeding with a picture of someone cutting themselves. These are very unhealthy groups.  

He refuses to go to any kind of therapy. He won’t take medication. But he has a serious problem with whatever this trauma absorbing is. He is depressed. He has been suicidal in the past. He has self harmed in the past. He has been in trouble with the law in the past. But he refuses help and goes as far as abusing our mom and saying it’s all her fault. His failing grades, his lack of friends, his massive eating habits that caused him to gain roughly a 100lbs, all of it is moms fault. According to him. 

I don’t know where to begin on this problem. It’s gone on for sooo long that I truly believe that he thinks these “memories” actually happened even when they didn’t.  It’s like he’s feeding off the attention from “ive been through terrible things.” It’s become almost like an addiction that he needs to be miserable with someone and hear their agony. It doesn’t make sense to me. I have my own mental health issues but I go to therapies I seek out help and I am doing better now than ever before.  He recently moved out and moved in with his uncle who is a terrible influence. The uncle is a womanizer that degrades woman and makes money by scamming people. Not a great guy.  I’m worried for his current path. He’s also refusing to talk to me at all. 

I don’t know if just needed to rant or if this sub will even be able to help with this but thank you for reading this and any comments are appreciated. ",3.749382448537375,5.6702243341869405,4.778970550576187,82.20046015955876,73.26376440460947,7.7254880330936695,28.40462917364325,8.47875389247106,2.180656046488723,3179,128,595,57,65,1038,330,781,0.18600000000000005,0.728,0.086,-0.9984,2,0,0,0,2,0,74.0,5,1,8,8,28,42,2,2,38,1,62,13,0,6,15,107,96,56,1,8,24,18,1,4,2,3,9,3,1,4,46,41,3,3,7,2,1,12,19,26,1,3,22,6,54,16,110,67,17,102,0,6,2,1,111,38,0,11,54,408,100,10,0.051867741370496386,0.12290958409640818,0.1518463006978851,0.056543494060013515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193805070283408,0.0,0.0,0.12443584210406144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581552825772852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04268273172993926,0.046173286419493635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185153590670116,0.0441356276666291,0.11687436576405227,0.0,0.04587280225491006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328245801442124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446736096398626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308883111708966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307364821784633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359324195695226,0.0,0.10277446199668083,0.046917341553848003,0.04370080914198518,0.04956184962273415,0.0466153814925319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271867874843967,0.0,0.04007288831935004,0.0,0.08129626231201806,0.0,0.08843289814026613,0.0,0.041483370982333324,0.057184367970184766,0.0,0.051357218591473214,0.3669317791846685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539895089571585,0.05845871415717027,0.0,0.13906341486231746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107927728907411,0.0,0.0555254898912593,0.0,0.0,0.054136446328531686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802454202857416,0.0570103083972049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635445276200736,0.0,0.036635719641328016,0.10135983397124018,0.0,0.0,0.13770395679076247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681266163869911,0.0,0.06924424024883748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225129266762856,0.15681145163548446,0.0,0.0,0.24298748727012184,0.0,0.11025440124650808,0.07625751577225291,0.11537781903737565,0.32002879751804564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721323473755427,0.0552374517796245,0.07029384780069146,0.0,0.055190933765881335,0.0,0.05759298865858201,0.0,0.14854088428622264,0.14383424443444345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05276813976341107,0.0,0.09926084720017138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188177751793293,0.05903684497332164,0.0,0.0,0.10242627446484456,0.0,0.0587560399608692,0.0,0.0,0.0412473097565201,0.0,0.05249292335349616,0.0,0.0,0.05410936618349639,0.0585957841830461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878947378920779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542234249744653,0.05937615462081783,0.05673489058424524,0.0588588982466956,0.0,0.0,0.03899808649055495,0.20844662899240649,0.0,0.04775284760312813,0.11863056515129113,0.06022244543696319,0.06891724529638055,0.06646950868522014,0.0,0.0,0.12097798840985388,0.0,0.04916455408341821,0.0,0.057626969124328624,0.0,0.0,0.050667246641385034,0.0,0.1247810131243092,0.0,0.0,0.08559263731993969,0.0,0.0,0.04160517351348215,0.0,0.04663532855739955,0.04808191589111465,0.04680256907578235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03776033345953965,0.05267420908181969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360449956760004
mentalhealth,Tylation,2018/03/07,Can DBT improve social skills I've been considering suicide for because of my lack of social skills. I need to know if the DBT I'm going to receive will improve my social skills.,2.3232857142857126,5.009179542857146,3.6682142857142885,84.34803571428574,82.14285714285714,4.642857142857143,25.892857142857146,5.985473137389443,1.0285714285714278,144,6,25,1,4,47,24,35,0.16699999999999998,0.69,0.14300000000000002,-0.25,0,1,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,5,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528109053467786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341502603118144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802390105995373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320650683084064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8793293242049506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145209695715882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ferag93,2018/03/07,"Mood changes feel ""too chemical"" I have been depressed for more than a year now although I was officially diagnosed 4 months ago. I went into therapy which I personally find pretty useless.

I am an extremely rational person and quite functional so my depression is not being considered as severe. I have repeatedly told my therapist that Ive been experiencing severe mood changes but it seems that for her that is not very relevant and the therapy is centered in ""how to handle  bad thoughts"".

I was doing better one month ago, my mood was overall more positive and I had a better attitude towards life in general. I wasn't feeling that empty ( i have problems with emotional suppression) and I stopped feeling the need of sleeping 12/13 hours a day.

Some days ago I started to experience again (I can't find anything at all that triggered it) very weird mood changes that I'd like to share.

I was feeling completely normal,doing my research in my master thesis when suddenly i felt totally numb, tired, I couldn't focus at all. I was incapable of thinking properly. It feels like ""having lots of black clouds in my brain"". When I get one of those episodes the only option left  is to lie in bed and hope it I'll go away... And it does, in seconds. I feel some drastic changes in my mind. I am no longer tired, I have lots of energy my mind is clear and I feel fucking great. Kind of arrogant actually. I feel like jumping out of bed and getting everything done and fixing my life. This lasts some minutes maybe 5 and i get depressed again but not as bad as in the ""black clouds phase"".

This was happening in the worse part of my depression but now came back and it feels so chemical that i am quite concerned. I did a little bit of research but this is not matching symptoms of ""bipolar disorders"" since the ""manic"" phase is TOO short.

I am considering seeing a psychiatrist but I'd like to get an idea of what this could be to explain the symptoms better. It doesn't feel like a regular depression.

I just want to hear some thoughts about this and if you feel like sharing your experience I'd be extremely grateful.

",4.054510714285716,6.290983572500004,4.974142857142857,79.75600000000001,73.275,8.571428571428571,31.17857142857143,9.23628265651192,3.047232142857143,1679,79,304,40,35,546,198,400,0.16399999999999998,0.6809999999999999,0.155,-0.4848,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,0,6,14,30,1,0,15,0,37,12,2,2,4,71,70,27,0,7,11,0,12,6,0,0,9,1,2,2,22,16,0,2,20,0,0,4,9,12,0,3,18,17,42,14,41,47,13,44,0,6,3,1,10,19,1,10,27,208,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.06838961930282701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636956709898708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057671258905866066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658440539985505,0.05388849314876882,0.11703056641933453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594467704077375,0.07651105366266324,0.0,0.0,0.07823434260923606,0.0,0.08015478252700182,0.0,0.0,0.29654853890466193,0.0,0.07347931781873084,0.0,0.0,0.055954526267201085,0.0,0.0,0.09039378370555697,0.0,0.30180628129676834,0.07113143938082046,0.0,0.0,0.08031968747336199,0.0,0.06132895853487925,0.0717178999455906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883246766880217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298490340452606,0.13710667941674615,0.0,0.0,0.3897894858437042,0.20026549121284692,0.06728941195651468,0.0,0.12810678867537106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478939243036573,0.1464591604723661,0.0,0.0398290390339599,0.0,0.0,0.07726530980826547,0.0,0.0,0.06197300635547678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898715716682603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960693040472701,0.0690163470300196,0.0,0.0,0.07911369679076055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297929489301662,0.0,0.05712593041724514,0.0,0.0,0.076143960426423,0.0,0.09900153935816314,0.2054302404282633,0.07024026374890886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916189211091922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704064764709292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152505619730227,0.0,0.11187707148213076,0.0,0.0,0.05196468457704407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866517571350263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497833272840032,0.05330028267652042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589164004703068,0.0,0.0,0.122385255752732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712982727893676,0.0,0.06705871187341693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908100608611893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584603282538673,0.06379973780906463,0.0,0.1583447217855712,0.0,0.057972297551826625,0.0,0.07013230140787928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04960418035965284,0.0,0.0,0.058591430263349085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568341786069244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602890386744011,0.08137024276502272,0.0,0.0449055166968398,0.0,0.11127406612775546,0.0,0.16109718471991705,0.0,0.06696605736322604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564946635905395,0.04133599607363101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496642805318624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714192285920039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04513031015858727
mentalhealth,AccomplishedAverage,2018/03/07,"How to lose a certain mentality?? Hi, I'm a teenager in the Netherlands. I've always wanted to study at university in the UK and in December I got an offer from a certain university, but I did have to achieve (very) high grades for it. From that moment on (and even before that) I continually put this pressure on myself to get these high grades. And I did mainly achieve them, but it does make me stressed. 
Last week I got another offer from another university and this one asks much lower grades, so basically I don't have to worry as much anymore. However I keep stressing myself out. I am now trying to shake off this mentality (because it sucks and makes me permanently stressed) of you have to get very high or else everything will fail and just accept that it's okay to get lower. Does anyone have any tips for how to do this?
Oh and for those interested. The first university asked a 9 overall and the next one only an 8. (In the Dutch system you get a grade in between a 1 and a 10, a 10 being the best.)
And please tell me if I'm posting this in the wrong subreddit or something, I'm kinda new to reddit... :)",5.0471105365223,5.525024742081449,6.370953458306397,77.502092760181,68.54751131221721,9.21021331609567,30.26535229476406,9.23628265651192,2.4835117000646423,872,32,173,16,14,296,122,221,0.136,0.768,0.096,-0.8842,3,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,6,6,15,1,5,17,1,11,0,0,4,2,27,27,19,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,14,11,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,9,0,3,4,0,16,6,30,21,4,26,0,2,0,0,9,14,1,4,8,116,30,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718015125378343,0.0,0.0,0.07942244339263059,0.24493281563386846,0.0,0.0,0.11582610375291315,0.08166355694297875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21836917420974608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119521019396295,0.0,0.09938123773516334,0.0,0.12256581088890794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441061959376786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756458023115784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771398964267163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496495813352667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934306346764003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440756247337306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868181771330462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701909143084824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038099369614567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520092229202354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306601737556585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591889513703772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353973721229494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171085367355907,0.0,0.0,0.11279826871135674,0.12420942684309096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828232131117806,0.08882544287976274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820234777522208,0.0,0.0,0.11185428048866576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174080384448008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991204990822449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40135390983160013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208119955524417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929398019271705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273096787301716,0.068886842128022,0.0,0.09368335420960576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860776366006165,0.0,0.0,0.12769352221815275,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loganberryent,2018/03/07,"Help getting a psychiatrist Hey there, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm not sure where else to go. Im a Canadian student trying to get a psychiatrist. I've had the one on campus tell me that I may be bipolar, and have been diagnosed with depression and moderate social anxiety. I had to stop seeing her as she made me very uncomfortable, laughed at me, and didn't offer weekly appointments. 

Problem is I don't have insurance and I need a family doctor referral to get a psychiatrist covered by OHIP. Without a doctor I can't get accommodation at school; I'm seriously struggling and may need to drop out for the sake of my mental health. 

I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope, any advice would be appreciated. ",4.024099939795304,5.251719947019868,6.096086694762198,75.80645394340759,71.3841059602649,9.729319686935582,28.95906080674293,10.018931242160765,2.8907298013245044,596,23,118,16,11,209,94,151,0.189,0.742,0.069,-0.9509,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,10,0,17,5,0,1,2,23,31,8,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,5,1,13,3,19,21,0,14,0,1,1,0,7,8,0,3,3,75,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578495836058022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984895731566338,0.0,0.123573403182513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391293750340689,0.16395405463075888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33067468485999113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349412955775107,0.0,0.1430715663980716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228029225976195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33758030775539216,0.0,0.09180374386498416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170355425288894,0.0,0.0,0.1082731290121309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744849128441486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877510281511967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284779128625642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278872053030108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23955147845109065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945991595587842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687691072012203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470533967623784,0.0,0.0,0.15456664177847398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794952772382207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634814755010619,0.12872203341401015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466401736495867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350500234764212,0.0,0.16887086782825014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044885928871291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411882190181548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967128022640316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328282887639026,0.0,0.0,0.1295731828204373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571343417931793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474943033949694,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lauvp,2018/03/07,"How do I know if I'm depressed? I am a young professional who's worked very hard to be where I am. I am very (veeery) ambitious and have high expectations for myself.
In the past six months I've been working very long hours 7 days a week, which hasn't done any good for my social life. So my life in the past 6 months has just been work, work, work. In the past three weeks everything in the company has changed and gone to sh*t.

 This past month I have felt very very overwhelmed with everything that's happened. I am now feeling very down, I cry constantly, I have now social anxiety that makes me just want to stay at home paralysed in bed staring at the ceiling overthinking my entire life.

What scares me the most is that I feel like I have lost my drive, there's not a single bit of motivation within myself to do anything about my current situation. Which at the same time gives me a ton of anxiety because I am not doing anything to change my situation....

I don't know what's happened to me, I don't recognise myself. I used to be a very energetic and positive person but don't know where that person is gone. And that makes me really sad.

Is this what depression feels like? What can I realistically do? 
Please SOS!",4.4692586290714615,5.567263995867774,5.1749878463782215,83.31510209042298,70.19834710743802,8.669324258629072,27.458434613514825,9.007467420416297,1.9704717549829844,965,32,199,18,17,312,125,242,0.102,0.812,0.086,-0.6963,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,8,10,9,0,2,12,0,28,3,0,5,0,27,46,8,0,3,6,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,2,2,14,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,6,6,0,2,7,6,29,3,23,37,5,35,0,5,1,0,6,13,0,2,20,129,43,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058666455353305086,0.0,0.13199239606490362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419854694270937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258929896635302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941843309540605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825241216470757,0.0,0.0,0.09322705838938222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476337774470793,0.05563691540735207,0.0,0.14860818833836284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828400734862629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506755438283226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086188268232493,0.12326239412562626,0.08283258355529867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275789975135282,0.0,0.07235905594334464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257628437681994,0.0,0.07728083920217628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114883156773168,0.08653569213886557,0.0,0.08495842311328318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223495788372842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280483606294087,0.08429418071526566,0.0,0.0,0.07634610123915038,0.0,0.0,0.09417373065234697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517158764650175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065793102216698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294173284243529,0.0,0.15065500839308948,0.0,0.09469838739111153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526667406582997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637116832496887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939418487369161,0.0,0.17588249281743054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195218001727842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030464247052261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450945025544044,0.0,0.4982716199133921,0.05088419186696496,0.0,0.13840093762705036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140273861745141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SableDragonRook,2018/03/07,"Help: Which Doctor to Use for Diagnosis? Hello! My SO approached me yesterday saying that he thinks he should be checked out and medicated for anxiety. This is a big step for him, because he actively avoids doctors and doesn't like to admit that he may be ill. He sometimes wakes up at night with what I can only assume is a panic attack (about nothing in particular); I say ""assume"" because I've had something that appears the same as what he is going through, and I'm 99% sure mine are panic attacks as well.

He explains a feeling of uncomfortable ""heat"" or pressure suddenly surging through his chest, and it bolts him awake. His heart is beating fast and he's breathing fast. This happened once about a year ago, but more recently it's happening quite a lot, which is what prompted him to come to me for help.

I don't know what sort of doctor he needs to go to. He HATES doctors, so if we could avoid going to multiple, that would be ideal. Where do we start with this? For now, I explained to him how I feel when that happens and what I do to deal with it (deep, slow breaths, acknowledge what's happening, etc). ",5.957553418803421,6.237320930555558,6.186296296296295,80.30371794871796,66.5462962962963,9.053561253561254,33.74501424501425,8.841846274778883,2.7309163817663813,875,37,169,13,13,280,132,216,0.133,0.795,0.07200000000000001,-0.8574,0,2,1,0,0,0,34.0,2,0,0,3,9,12,3,5,6,0,19,11,5,2,1,41,40,15,0,6,3,0,2,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,19,13,0,2,10,0,1,7,2,8,1,0,1,4,18,4,29,32,4,26,0,0,0,0,27,7,0,8,13,111,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048848280304068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051558686842473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26921546602560403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425531775626868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019234539426287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447005146405413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198422146504675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4844280790491186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195969576820452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965376251798746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20173442355677146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185250767258009,0.0,0.0,0.11681793761764067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021149023577445,0.15861675024258876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502637560889332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057805884766903626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005926672179804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919641477406955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773385736238944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103666732382422,0.0,0.11353262427658713,0.0,0.0,0.1260084847138311,0.0,0.08998879596360825,0.0,0.2776494601239516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584942860577905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168281593771755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881879353043701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108963436088174,0.11702294143308682,0.0,0.08374853267510349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151656816966067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581560878761415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021917446486627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063851951225821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405216464465559,0.0,0.0,0.07619513572344516
mentalhealth,stevem234,2018/03/07,"feeling lost/like a failure Hi all, im a 24 almost 25 male and the past year ive really been struggling with aniexty and what i think is some kind of depression. Im having more trouble sleeping by the night my mind just never stops with racing thoughts , i rarley feel happiness anymore even though i want to.  My mind just constantly races all day, currently im working a job that is really going no where but i have to keep it strictly for a paycheck, Im not in school and i really have no idea what to do with my life which keeps weighing me down, Everyone around me seems happy, has a plan for their life and things they are looking forward to, while i feel like i really dont have any of that. I always end up feeling like friends/family view me as a loser. Im not in realtionship and I dont even want to at this point because i feel like i shouldnt drag someone else into my mess of life. Everyday just feels like a battle and like i have this huge weight on my shoulders. I dont want to feel like this everyday, i want to experience happiness. If anyone has any suggestions or been through something similar please respond. Thanks in advance.",3.614584541062804,5.172992613043482,4.682028985507248,84.2533816425121,72.86956521739131,8.067632850241546,27.99516908212561,8.680891452615391,2.0920096618357484,911,35,181,17,18,298,132,230,0.101,0.6829999999999999,0.21600000000000005,0.9759,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,4,8,17,1,1,9,0,18,7,2,0,3,45,37,12,0,6,8,0,8,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,11,2,3,11,0,0,3,9,6,0,0,3,10,25,11,27,33,4,27,0,2,2,0,6,13,0,5,19,114,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296045748491447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893629982926999,0.0,0.0,0.1126791695680644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216310546291825,0.05792935464613895,0.0,0.0,0.07375242068401618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050346488473748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952942066575048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343020460052302,0.0,0.07135699247610107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912922536436135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692090006936485,0.0,0.07337887261055583,0.0,0.0,0.10944084692734857,0.0,0.0,0.07916496023359999,0.0,0.0810413906026673,0.07810186501863793,0.0,0.2932336070067621,0.2959336840235857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04708451438560308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26458019714296976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352548002643724,0.4474511083645789,0.0,0.08221400782228082,0.14727848943029884,0.0,0.08627360196442517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555430097617006,0.2428525353683581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957158238288175,0.0,0.09043854534186728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730603363951274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389760274781403,0.0,0.0,0.07774737897124555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908793616524354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094239277287583,0.07831828314070212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21229859213492672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384675353033537,0.0,0.07542184661064227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290798459182495,0.0,0.07019697088521598,0.06378055550203048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926476530743048,0.0,0.08661087740890352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627544795682407,0.0,0.0,0.05504063130035626,0.05308575095428504,0.0813978893324339,0.06577217897310574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19546394781080484,0.0,0.0,0.10088673050153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031444184360574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335149402115676
mentalhealth,hze11dhu,2018/03/07,"I'm raising money for Mind UK - a mental health charity. If you are feeling generous and/or know someone personally affected with mental health problems, you could be a part of the solution! Mental health needs awareness in order for those suffering to get the support they need! Currently mental health is poorly managed in the UK and we need to change that. Please donate as much or little as you want but every bit helps! Thank you! https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/heather-mulrenan",8.35905967450271,11.721078215189873,6.735479204339963,66.87367088607597,64.31645569620252,8.564918625678121,30.273056057866178,9.23628265651192,3.1989334538878844,405,15,54,8,7,120,61,79,0.059,0.723,0.218,0.9019,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,1,0,16,14,6,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,10,12,3,5,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,1,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851887923591234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391076363734742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861572454643223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461835825779795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878518593558207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107453539684823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5784105323278201,0.0,0.0,0.09118378250992387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476323757562284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634638068399207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5483795073934058,0.0,0.13736017035457462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000399802936816,0.3026126164955618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473165089694824,0.0,0.0,0.11878362765422383,0.0,0.14932949269062876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017053423881933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526503461248942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543749513648609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524603323984887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023907023975045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YourMomsNameIsLinda,2018/03/07,"Feeling down (32f), when will things look up?? I have a tendency to post when I'm feeling my worst, probably as there's not many people I can talk to. Sorry in advance for rambling.
I'm feeling super depressed lately (regarding a number of things), but particularly with my long single status. I know better than to expect someone to make me happy, but the isolation is making me physically ache.

 It doesn't help my mood, that my younger sister is in a great relationship with a good man, constantly thinking of her, taking her on constant trips, showering her with love, affection, gifts, etc. He's also just one year older than me (I'm 32), while him and my sister are 13 years apart. It makes me feel like a failure, though they fell in love before I'd ever met him. Personality wise, he's everything I wish I could find in a guy/relationship (though to be clear I'm not into him, just recognize his good qualities), but I simultaneously hate him, because I've tried being a friend, but it feels like he'd rather pretend I wasn't there. I'm happy for them, while simultaneously feeling bitter and jealous at my own shit existence. My sister has no job, but gets all the happy life experiences.

My life on the other hand.. I have PTSD from past incest abuse, so as much as I want a relationship, I'm terrified of trusting guys when dating. I'm willing to give it a shot, but have little opportunity for socializing. I have chronic depression, few friends, struggle to get out of bed. I have Crohn's disease and medicines which make me chronically fatigued and achy. I'm living paycheck to paycheck at a minimum wage job with too few hours, with everything going towards paying off a dental bill. I have no car, and can't yet afford one. I still live at home with my folks, where we have added stressors of caring for a sick grandparent, which I've been tasked with helping clean her room on a weekly basis with my sister. (We love her and she needs the help, but I'm already feeling physically and emotionally drained). My dad is a narcissist who prioritizes his costly hobbies over the good of the family, and he adds zero monetary help, leaving my mom holding us all afloat. I feel guilty if I buy anything for myself, and have had to be ridiculously frugal. My only extra source of income is recycling cans and helping sell my folks hoarder amount of possessions.. my typical phrase in my mind, is I fucking hate my life.

Meanwhile, my sister goes on monthly flights to see her boyfriend in LA, Disneyland trips, fun outings, is given thoughtful gifts and encouragement all the time.. I'm glad she's with someone who loves and treats her well, but shit.. sometimes the contrast feels unbearable. I don't need anyone buying me fancy things, I just wish someone gave a shit. I feel like I've spent my entire youth helping my family out and giving of my time to help make life a bit better, but now I just feel used up, burnt out, resentful. I was also raised Mormon, but left the church for good a couple years ago. It's impressed on my mind since childhood that I was supposed to marry young, have kids, etc. Though I can plot my own course, I can't shake the church culture mentality sometimes that I've already passed my prime, and am unwanted.

I know all the negative thinking doesn't help, I should focus on the good, but some days prove more difficult than others. I just REALLY needed to vent. As for the good, I'm glad for the couple friends I do have, for getting along pretty great with my siblings overall (despite my jealous shortcomings at times), and as shitty as my job is, at least I have a job. And I'm trying to improve my circumstances.

I did see a couple different therapists before for my anxiety/depression, one was great but had to move, last couple were absolutely terrible.. it soured my wanting to go back. At least for now.

Tldr: I have crappy life circumstances that makes me depressed, and I already have PTSD and other health issues to deal with. Dating gives me terrible anxiety, but I'm also too isolated and want to put myself out there, but do not have reliable transportation. My younger sister's relationship makes her life amazing, and further points out my shit life.. I needed to vent..",6.50268313370688,7.129378837531487,6.8096925924022,75.10171104713926,65.41057934508817,9.65543617950959,32.45093301804349,9.606745405546679,3.026425723538785,3343,129,595,63,49,1082,365,794,0.158,0.627,0.215,0.9954,10,1,0,0,1,0,126.0,3,0,2,5,29,60,12,2,33,0,51,23,5,9,7,115,121,53,0,15,24,8,12,3,3,3,12,0,5,4,20,41,0,1,18,1,8,12,12,22,1,4,14,17,97,37,91,99,20,84,3,4,3,6,67,37,5,2,37,385,117,6,0.0,0.056381272419002385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04218185128733972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575360074676322,0.11416279965366967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03640292972939113,0.0,0.0,0.033273027384766216,0.0,0.039158975973188216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03659046548452083,0.0,0.029007800628889788,0.0,0.08098385053207886,0.0,0.0,0.08417136806934143,0.051951259065627836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048516791873856484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028464716636479,0.0,0.0379933088206886,0.2106106847972838,0.0,0.030688839392505725,0.04905876651434082,0.1639419723734218,0.0,0.0,0.049716927686001465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352750687111785,0.0,0.0,0.10614126689902734,0.0,0.04304398936453952,0.0,0.0,0.0855339164042609,0.046547944911411294,0.08971912459375755,0.0,0.2646683530121872,0.10198569929949464,0.0,0.0,0.04349246708771688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029377975165856,0.04399221223242785,0.07458469159679655,0.1369456165210812,0.054088099068958236,0.23947576139117166,0.0,0.15739020446639107,0.0,0.09423464747279127,0.0,0.15196758532492352,0.0,0.0939620527547131,0.0,0.05058137316589766,0.0,0.0,0.2551655295072532,0.0,0.04773233631528815,0.0,0.0468623284176455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049667106933686936,0.1888858559113576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523037117416799,0.03878869612168962,0.053678741516263236,0.050386384743678174,0.05170200154133287,0.0,0.2352783069252924,0.06974390711868438,0.047693371926967834,0.0840380886139184,0.04211184646053651,0.03996000266130068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717918060117955,0.0,0.22234676661976044,0.048244430236162865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795519263517892,0.0,0.09609598230342373,0.055731795916905934,0.03798245120043501,0.050576067584749314,0.034980964278418784,0.14113677234812672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967359041534621,0.03619106862398845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045425934431779176,0.03298993230779601,0.041549997177244384,0.0,0.0,0.044983866911456095,0.0,0.04557394604304807,0.04841176357266374,0.0513054322408418,0.0,0.11125027204154833,0.04783677107149832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03048461748366612,0.0,0.0,0.2043569304606735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583928282809728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19538414609435065,0.039363382211717056,0.0,0.0,0.048507627844824826,0.1209576258285022,0.0,0.09412694677454178,0.053268294486318285,0.0,0.0,0.038002000943168315,0.0,0.0,0.04974690488869707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035778523772712865,0.03824758259640727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525066457399483,0.0948414725341828,0.060981989391471064,0.14025812391822098,0.03777772988316474,0.08324281183665093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461513245722572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723973720521591,0.04109876572724134,0.0,0.0,0.08420183507961235,0.0,0.03817037766661925,0.0,0.04278525849834462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094424115763725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091930890604309
mentalhealth,_VanZandt_,2018/03/07,"Submissions wanted to make online gallery displaying various mediums of creativity produced by everyday people as an outlet whilst suffering from their mental illness. Dug up drawings, paintings, poems. Selfies. Personal recounts. Regret and joy. Literally anything that you have produced from a mental episode. Anything that has kept you, saved you or helped you through crisis. 

I have many crazy hours of the day and night ramblings, photos of my struggles, diary entries, mantras, poems, texts Ive sent, random things I've made, paintings, videos I've created, dances Ive made up, music I've made, personal recounts of regret and success. Hospital trips and surviving recovery from my own illness. All during times of extreme struggle, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, daily sadness or grief.

The creative mediums are endless. The feelings behind them, your emotions, your illness, they're all endless and unique to you.

I respect anyone and will tread so kindly for anyone willing to participate. I'm not gaining anything, just the appreciations of being able to collect stories and share them with the world.

Anonymous or not. Nothing is too big or too little.

Let's share, educate, lower stigma, and advocate.

I will provide my email for photos you've taken of your creation etc. if people like this idea.
",6.662311052861513,9.939146366972482,6.1044429882044575,69.78640672782876,69.27522935779818,7.638619484491046,38.36260375709917,8.563005593585519,4.166383311489733,1060,61,134,19,21,326,144,218,0.181,0.67,0.149,-0.8561,1,0,0,0,0,1,43.0,0,8,3,5,4,16,0,2,7,0,12,3,0,6,2,34,23,15,2,4,8,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,4,9,0,1,3,2,0,3,2,8,0,0,7,1,19,8,23,11,5,14,0,6,0,0,18,5,0,6,7,87,23,3,0.14745354210703324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20620589021371988,0.0,0.36402510389418014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509533613185503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586538816623253,0.0,0.0,0.16444967703289556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455694137252994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883500108707508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521203672125962,0.0,0.0,0.1664571009320088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535501733420757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150781237087571,0.0,0.07203835250739167,0.14778718662668427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41857232045750603,0.09842638435196402,0.14949474794794915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29719697800131434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837516049056905,0.0,0.1414856504957208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044514399292084,0.25750149083921203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083009156133362,0.0,0.1612902423867752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796158134804604,0.0,0.0,0.11706164171250046,0.08598134619258557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869719195242699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,director5831,2018/03/07,how do i help someone out of the rabbit hole? My friend says that she has fallen down the rabbit hole and its gotten to the point where people are unreconisable. Has anyone got any tips for me to help her out?,4.073571428571427,5.1852335000000025,4.760476190476194,85.86785714285716,71.14285714285714,6.552380952380951,18.761904761904766,6.42735559955562,-0.10300952380952387,165,2,34,1,3,53,34,42,0.052000000000000005,0.764,0.185,0.755,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,7,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625319191302807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699399491055505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982665904180463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30876495657970504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5175315823547111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26764323381764865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36494853937483507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070079288258753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32710474445760074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maxsmith855,2018/03/07,"My shit Hello everyone,

I would just like to share the shit I put myself through and how I will pay for the rest of my life for it. First year in college. Very first semester, I decided taking LSD atleast once a week (many times twice a week) for 10 weeks straight was a good idea. Mixed with my relationship with marijuana which is just utter addiction (using 3-4 times a day) really destroyed me. 

Eventually my acid trips were not even fun anymore and I would get suicidal thoughts while on them. One time all I could think about was dying. And now this has transferred over into my sober life. Months later, I still do smoke often, atleast once a day, and these thoughts that I had on acid still persist. I feel disconnected to where it feels like I’m almost in like a video game or something. Like I just got pulled back, like looking through a lens or something. Very hard to explain. Then i will sometimes get the characteristic LSD tightening of the face muscles, which if you’ve tried LSD you know, I get em completely sober. When I look around, it feels like I’m on acid. The trees look different, like they are hands and reaching out to the sky (a visual I got on an intense trip), the buildings have this acid look to them. I honestly just wanna go back to normal, this has been haunting me for months and months. I think about this shit 24/7, combined with my classes and my fucking pot addiction and other bullshit I can barely hold my life together. I also have this swinging pendulum of self esteem. I look in the mirror, think I look good, leave the room and go outside to do some shit and then I get a feeling of just being a complete loser, just all around not ok with myself. Severely affects my interactions with people. 

Anyways this is the end of my shit if you guys know anything that might help me please let me know. Been on the edge like this for a long long time. Sometimes suicide seems like the only way to make all this stop...really that it was I want. Everything to stop. In reality....I function fine. My friends don’t really notice much, just that I can be depressed at times and extremely hostile/irritable for no reason. I make solid grades and can hold it together...I’ve got hobbies, friends, etc. I know something is wrong and I really could use some help. Thank you to those of you who may read this giant block of text

Edit: I broke up the large text into a few smaller ones. 
I would also like to add that there is much more than just what I have mentioned in here...other side effects ",3.843580246913578,5.7310758991769575,4.153438271604936,86.92497222222225,72.93004115226337,7.164526748971195,26.34753086419753,7.908726449838941,1.4819120987654326,1981,69,391,28,40,618,245,486,0.132,0.745,0.123,-0.9159,1,0,4,0,0,1,70.0,0,4,3,5,26,31,7,0,26,1,35,13,7,8,3,84,75,24,3,10,14,0,6,10,2,7,5,0,1,2,26,24,0,4,19,3,1,6,4,11,0,5,12,16,53,20,53,51,11,61,0,3,6,1,21,24,6,11,40,254,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000612271532745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643013420127344,0.0,0.0,0.1027042991089031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368332703758496,0.0,0.0,0.052842894445687266,0.11432867586421748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875366029188187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346549358936,0.0,0.0,0.10253978086805353,0.0,0.0,0.08282581759998951,0.0,0.055307679312644034,0.0,0.06664430143380287,0.06709027232157583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056874806712561884,0.0,0.07161591466177666,0.04241293708944647,0.0,0.0,0.06135951196183882,0.057711668956452064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987471054041935,0.09174941222063186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924129526486227,0.0,0.0,0.09922361206829168,0.05936508219781182,0.13419727788633387,0.0,0.07298892881738782,0.10771981022655573,0.1540741165261293,0.0,0.0,0.06358224909840296,0.0,0.0,0.0575233965153264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608297846681327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249012433638823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116199159935372,0.0,0.0,0.06799366797367233,0.0,0.06566346862268731,0.13606936956595134,0.3137186158481997,0.0,0.0,0.11365526304624357,0.3235430166702451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857270828304207,0.06510321762007798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681212206776157,0.0,0.0,0.15376571600957842,0.0,0.09440979275037667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291637639202145,0.0,0.07310840195177787,0.0,0.1367722596720307,0.08702653810950049,0.04883786594632801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451810772336954,0.0,0.0,0.07048801415069897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645531038933315,0.0,0.0,0.06423167360470773,0.07308992749270027,0.12341196754042948,0.06602299147662481,0.0,0.06894212270113924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845828363500497,0.06698951566288629,0.07254387695094656,0.3295752618599408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830590756484222,0.12701916200024088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025632399549826,0.10737205407226083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048003550944016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482811592529509,0.0,0.0,0.05911989657407715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343778463619362,0.0,0.10195795691800506,0.1872193628632408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359729205341225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092106906266594,0.0,0.10596703903215714,0.037875255695242825,0.050970319476779234,0.1545265054456651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684798108892668,0.07020825247948664,0.0,0.04135190147147598
mentalhealth,BucketHatMafia,2018/03/07,"Need help understanding why I have a lack of understanding of my physical appearance. I genuinely have no idea of what's going on. I've had a lot of body issues for honestly as long as I can remember and I think I've honestly reached a tipping point. 

My biggest issue right now is that I can literally look in a mirror and like really look at myself, like nitpick and maybe even think something nice once in a while. But when I look away for even a minute and close my eyes and try to remember me and what I looked like, I 100% draw a blank. I do not know what I look like.

Like I know that when I look away and when I think of me I'm just like a blob bc I still think I'm really way too heavy and not pretty physically. But I don't know what my face looks like. I know the color of my eyes and my hair color and all of this stuff, but I look away and I can only picture how fat and how ugly I am, I have no perception of myself. 

I'm starting to seek therapy right now, but everything is a process and it's taking so long and I am just so lost on what to do or why this is happening. I want to get better, but I have no way of even comprehending what is wrong with me. Like I genuinely don't even know enough of what is wrong with me to know what subreddit I can even ask for help or like even what to title this post",3.0428039288361752,3.4410585176056365,4.7401779095626395,87.70074499629355,72.97887323943662,8.795848776871757,24.10229799851742,8.99025400887824,1.3648338028169014,1025,26,244,20,19,349,120,284,0.098,0.7709999999999999,0.131,0.2844,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,19,16,0,0,10,0,20,6,6,2,1,52,53,31,0,3,11,0,1,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,16,17,1,0,16,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,2,13,37,13,31,51,4,28,0,1,12,0,3,13,0,4,19,164,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737688019617104,0.0,0.22241141885036486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978816180361518,0.0,0.08764956236863701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153358106374996,0.0,0.31270994709446376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709178778322803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041226437957239216,0.0,0.04484552284293125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977853193470182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578141753195254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907809936347462,0.0,0.1647199599821223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601963101004328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34695639525345323,0.0,0.0,0.1396630907657726,0.5301061765520739,0.0,0.0861379564796001,0.06708519065838776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927420107161542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850965792166275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403498441177548,0.0,0.060013475149790524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459404437819664,0.0,0.0755725371568468,0.08027831950228285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110162000545242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877591174582835,0.13477486726050328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060747623630068276,0.0,0.0,0.05585184722952943,0.0,0.06301643543439005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033136155336084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059329376803940875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023875443260564,0.0,0.0,0.20224553980172108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357369640436424,0.0,0.0,0.164293076804781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654228174008327,0.12526779956594586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424053078482235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254812976956818,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ratch6,2018/03/07,"A server to help each other I have created a server and hopefully one day a community dedicated to helping other people through there mental illness and tough times, but I would love to see it help as many people as it can.

https://discord.gg/JYPKn8B",11.514318181818176,10.249079977272727,10.958181818181817,55.68227272727273,56.04545454545455,13.345454545454546,40.18181818181819,12.161744961471696,5.130900000000001,205,8,30,5,2,67,32,44,0.06,0.585,0.354,0.9331,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,6,6,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,6,5,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849027096151402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765222643666686,0.0,0.0,0.28476537903867605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587648396783012,0.0,0.0,0.2906765472754737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889338676172272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942805174901641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975339566097213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22846886959186494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671815310198049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036688820138068,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThisABurnerAccount,2018/03/07,"I need help Ok, so I applied for Medicaid about a month ago so I could see a psychiatrist. I called them yesterday and they said it will probably take an additional 2 months to process. I quit my job almost a year ago due to mental health issues ( hoping I would recover ) I am a bit better, but far from normal. I really need to talk to someone. What Can I do?",1.7209980430528375,3.753820904109592,4.156594911937379,83.83630136986301,79.68493150684931,8.007045009784736,22.757338551859107,8.841846274778883,1.725095499021526,278,9,58,7,7,97,56,73,0.0,0.883,0.117,0.6486,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,3,3,0,0,5,1,6,1,0,0,0,10,12,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,12,3,7,8,1,8,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,7,36,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459935709511352,0.0,0.19542366893328125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260238302351713,0.2130632142847532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927928256580826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558186778192062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20744501949507232,0.0,0.0,0.1308110449806607,0.0,0.0,0.19383704208171826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036954183179238,0.1936653139751688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667449198080886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115482967970168,0.0,0.0,0.2894160306324805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912145023051169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041454047712896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757574771848802,0.0,0.0,0.12502393020169228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856410149920108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551655204344966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535768984743285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673537108595833,0.15686150890621606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386354401188808,0.0,0.0,0.12567607533483482
mentalhealth,ChronicallyBatgirl,2018/03/07,"Stopping a freak out ( xpost r/BPD )

Apologies for the long post. Australian btw 

5 years ago, my doctor (General Practitioner here, PCP elsewhere) was inappropriate with me. I had seen him for years and we had a good rapport. 

He was going through my annual mental health review and after I mentioned I had occasional suicidal thoughts he told me ‘you should be happy, you can be happy with me’ and then he kissed me. 

At the time, I was taken aback, but also a little flattered (god knows why, I was 22 and he was over 50), but I quickly became quite uncomfortable and felt really icky about the whole thing. 

After a few weeks I started getting quite anxious about going to any doctor and that’s when my partner gently suggested reporting him (the fact that he propositioned a suicidal patient was what really disturbed her) and I started that process with the medical board here. 

I didn’t continue with the process as I found reliving the situation and surrounding details difficult, I changed doctors and that was that.

I still avoid my doctor when I can, but my medical care is sufficient and I chalked it up to me not reading signs well and ignored it.

So, today. I had a job interview at a nursing service nearby and despite my anxiety, I did really well and was offered a job pending a medical assessment. On the questionnaire I only mentioned anxiety rather than BPD.

They call to organise the medical assessment and lo and behold, the only provider they have in the area is this doctor. I haven’t seen him in 5 years, I *really* want this job, but this whole thing is making me freak out.

The email mentioned the assessment includes stripping to underwear and a supervised urine rest - all fairy standard - but the idea of doing this with him is making me nauseated and fuzzy. 

How can I stop this freak out? I can’t reschedule with another doctor as he is he only one able to do it. I want this job so much it hurts and the idea that the only stumbling block is this doctor, and what he did has now put that in jeapordy is making me mad and sad and anxious.

Sorry for the rambling text, I’m trying to sort through my thoughts. I guess I just want some reassurance, or advice on how to get through this, or advice on how to stop this freak out. 

Thanks in advance and I hope everyone is having a calm day x",5.288295563593415,6.655768986270026,5.920098914888908,77.72631652764451,68.51945080091535,9.208503727762604,32.174577397209724,9.536714749202195,3.09918888314756,1825,79,328,39,31,593,211,437,0.159,0.752,0.08800000000000001,-0.9892,4,1,0,0,0,0,50.0,1,2,2,3,19,23,1,2,28,0,36,14,1,6,2,75,62,40,2,6,10,0,1,0,1,1,12,0,0,1,24,33,0,6,7,1,0,4,4,11,2,1,23,3,50,12,43,36,7,47,0,2,2,1,31,18,0,6,24,237,74,18,0.07058981703241028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795910445646106,0.06257361365339152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645065117742005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048003496210008,0.07401957799801179,0.10800203363393626,0.1594928013080836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778108068772572,0.0,0.07208009560477653,0.0,0.07197102302923042,0.0,0.07467466654457439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552459223604512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057616821553177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674515952346192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777729431266791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739809086193179,0.0,0.0,0.07376053182435907,0.0,0.08023563952498129,0.05920738941560095,0.0,0.0,0.0777626418275412,0.0,0.0,0.15028834568662966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503367457679253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011161594474034,0.0,0.0,0.07556785910651713,0.1593746224150622,0.0,0.0,0.2801980048688582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03879431735781271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074954127680269,0.0,0.062469766741684925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135775302413903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28444725693900186,0.07113793266651333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05189163768726833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047833486899985074,0.21474694700851327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760553188935323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096226315586279,0.0,0.15016191897259198,0.07060891963941042,0.0,0.18088657738612496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934591194182321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901952089434194,0.09992767163866867,0.0,0.0563731190666668,0.17704874352560146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544276052850751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498961948242486,0.0,0.0,0.0937934756229136,0.0,0.0,0.11208085952931238,0.04116148997986968,0.0,0.06691089269606491,0.0674515952346192,0.0,0.04792585212772146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490710901443082,0.0,0.056622893311274326,0.0,0.12693744601671547,0.0,0.06369633032807345,0.1576220196179771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637258337243124
mentalhealth,cognacyak21,2018/03/07,"How Do I Suggest That It's Time for My Husband to Go Back to Work? Can I? I'd like to start by admitting that I am lucky enough to have never personally experienced a mental illness, so I have trouble fully understanding it- but I'm really trying.

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years, married for about 4, and have no kids. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety about 3 years ago. As is not uncommon, it interfered with his ability to hold down a job. Over time, he has found treatment (medical and therapy) that seems to be working for him, and has been leveling out. In the meantime, we have struggled financially. We went through our wedding money, savings account, and utilized nearly all family resources. He took a couple of independent contractor jobs (like driving for Uber/Lyft) here and there, but nothing stuck. Now that he has stabilized a bit, we agree that it's time for him to be working again, but he considers ""working"" as more independent contractor work, and even then hasn't really been looking as actively as I'd like... I've become seriously concerned about the long-term effects that this lack of income will have on us and our future family.

So I'm asking for input- is it totally unreasonable for me to ask him to go back to the world of steady employment? How do I go about proposing that? What am I supposed to attribute to him just being used to sitting on the couch all day vs. him still being unwell?",5.708733014354067,7.000027061818184,6.617645933014356,73.39657416267943,67.47272727272727,10.298564593301435,34.110047846889955,10.426177893888326,3.8592545454545455,1162,54,203,31,19,386,160,275,0.084,0.862,0.054000000000000006,-0.8547,4,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,6,0,0,6,18,9,0,1,8,0,26,4,0,7,4,40,43,21,0,1,6,2,0,3,0,1,4,0,1,2,14,15,0,1,5,0,2,6,4,4,0,0,8,2,22,5,44,30,7,32,0,1,1,0,26,9,0,2,19,149,36,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087638507049903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568629946741347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23386691075037344,0.0,0.0,0.1923584867498782,0.0,0.0,0.13814167082534887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655559510226234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839927999173565,0.0,0.08066662486365142,0.0,0.10773171816399324,0.12695415329077472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292416727581639,0.0,0.08261454181070371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358296732611926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371443972161243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132585241191532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482463459431452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332415638507796,0.0,0.0,0.11069237507813164,0.10503618279604356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260055227404409,0.12605180290756726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646985238185074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001818760389055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921553573645534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025964170331694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386866010625354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853267657818012,0.0,0.09988951080695756,0.0,0.0,0.13076137756334424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304054131222696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188064719274603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896912397263825,0.08492150165370907,0.0,0.0,0.1302132924361142,0.15045653403089285,0.10802945901199748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595094852027102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553007508051952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109558203255944
mentalhealth,JokeritHelenski,2018/03/07,I think I might have autisim or aspergers At first i notice my appearance seems to look not normal as well as my facial expressions then i started to look at the symptoms of Autisim and i have most of the symtoms I have mever been diagnosed with autisim or aspergers but it seems that I might have it any ideas on what i should do?,2.9813636363636387,5.117935924242428,3.5393939393939418,89.27909090909094,76.12121212121212,7.4303030303030315,27.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,1.9163212121212123,265,11,54,5,6,83,42,66,0.024,0.976,0.0,-0.1045,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,9,3,1,0,0,16,16,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,10,1,10,12,1,7,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,8,3,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525945538774225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231731077405084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420140292443905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577355717022834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834478380568779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4844042389809886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22369651572929886,0.0,0.2599338316188164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156919109004507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159985315351105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730277128355165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629260782815678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20527920144238684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tylerballin,2018/03/07,"LDR GF might not remember me due to her depression and anxiety plz help Ok so my gf (18) and I (19) are in a long distance relationship and we’ve been together for 7 months and things were great until her depression and anxiety got ahold of her. Shes had it early in her teen years and it’s been pretty bad according to her. She’s been in and out of the hospital last week and having to run a lot of test but now she’s back in the hospital. But she also said doctors or whoever has her social media accounts which I find weird cause I don’t think doctor can be all in your personal accounts like that and have your password but I don’t know. but I find it weird how either “she or they”  unfollowed me on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. I addressed it to her but she told me it was them doing it. Then today her friend told me how they are gonna give her medication that has the side effects of memory loss and she told me that she’s afraid that she will forget me and our relationship and how that she doesn’t want to be the next girl to hurt me again. I’m honestly really scared and she told me if she ever forgets me to please be her best friend which I will but it’ll still be hard to bare with knowing your gf forgets you and you have to be her friend for the rest of your life. I don’t know much about mental health medicine and how severe the side effects are but I just need you guys input and opinions on this. Please no negativity. ",2.7412736900780392,4.2227932207357854,3.989151337792645,88.65199902452622,74.9866220735786,7.6589186176142725,23.4951226309922,8.344100000000001,1.1997055741360092,1139,33,250,20,24,373,156,299,0.122,0.746,0.131,0.7048,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,7,3,4,13,17,0,2,8,1,30,5,0,7,2,56,45,35,0,3,13,0,1,1,6,5,5,1,1,3,16,19,0,0,9,0,2,1,7,9,0,0,12,2,53,8,27,23,6,27,0,4,0,0,53,10,0,6,17,181,69,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078919422844502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369892825223246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729688360467404,0.09479207097787563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914180460089903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166256766823222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19556492505209666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240372475415194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269358642148582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075271132389781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263136943621918,0.0,0.0,0.10890747436804762,0.0,0.0,0.0907996063276396,0.12516625281004598,0.0,0.11241167532345046,0.0,0.0,0.10169978986706513,0.0,0.0,0.12067614301588805,0.0,0.0,0.07609617435292995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153526832288533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871779017653148,0.09254138327222633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018897312802832,0.05546459222144108,0.0,0.0,0.1004696964130874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965183958382524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436864198792975,0.11441064808218734,0.1204364527841403,0.0,0.0,0.09061785843821188,0.0,0.08345696417238062,0.08418040208607054,0.0,0.0,0.12073950439525424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912924635765774,0.0,0.2492417576685622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549992692734855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272965973418423,0.0,0.0,0.24377557016568654,0.12860635892126585,0.0,0.10799218862578024,0.0,0.11366245190793532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825558796911093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572863820767465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066449986770156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542370103868483,0.07274487437363672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761232875576747,0.43392774772623455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669624149252255,0.0,0.0910662100682742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310902945607864
mentalhealth,atlanticcanada,2018/03/07,"Should I ask my social worker if I'm autistic? Just started ""therapy"". I think I have AvPD or maybe I'm an aspie or something. Is she the person I ask about this stuff? It's some sort of free government program thing ( go Canada ) ",0.6289855072463766,3.0924524782608662,2.5347826086956537,90.54463768115944,89.43478260869566,4.8057971014492775,20.71014492753623,6.42735559955562,0.4518666666666671,178,6,35,2,6,59,38,46,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.5215,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,10,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,2,9,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,1,22,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5588491095203445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16986774788449685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002781358697141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26098178958396306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30468371560680946,0.0,0.2301023906336568,0.0,0.0,0.21155796393094325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421609110044812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418101298775481,0.0,0.1985711906161504,0.19151852954267606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wambaowambao,2018/03/07,"How to cope with having a long distance marriage temporarily? I'm a young married dude, only 24, living in a foreign country alone without any friends or family. My only friend would be my boss, but we don't really hang out together.

I'm married to a wonderful woman and we literally do everything together - for the last 3 years that we moved in together. Before those 3 years we were long distance and by long distance I mean intercontinental long distance. Back then it was easier to handle since I was in my home country, but this time it's seeming very hard.

So due to some visa trouble, she had to go back to her home country for approx. 6 months, then she can come back here indefinitely - I am DEFINITELY looking forward to this as this is near unbearable to me.

My issues are:

- I can't sleep. My mind wanders mostly to moments with my wife, causing me to get tense and sad.
- I can't eat and I feel like puking (started yesterday, wife left last week)
- I get some sort of panic attack where I need to cry, puke, feel hot & cold etc.

Problem is: I need to work and I need to be sharp for work. I work as a programmer full time.

At the time of this posting, I'm awake and I can't sleep. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I've literally done everything with my wife for the last 3 years and now she isn't here. We Skype on daily basis and she's helping me the hardest she can, but those issues listed above are still happening.

In this country, I literally having nothing going for me: No friends or family. Luckily, my mother is coming at the end of this week so this might help, but for some reason this isn't calming me down.

I went to my house doctor today and got prescribed some natural pills to take daily and benzos in case I get a panic attack. I don't want to use the benzos under any circumstance as I don't wanna risk addiction.

How to make this easier for myself? I live in Germany.",3.2213817627635244,4.894553656167981,4.8436457539581745,82.22646431292864,74.11811023622046,7.645787824908982,25.938616543899755,8.360895534625662,1.755873694014055,1497,52,293,26,31,505,187,381,0.151,0.754,0.095,-0.9708,0,1,0,0,0,0,49.0,5,0,0,3,12,13,2,3,13,0,29,6,2,7,1,59,57,25,0,7,7,4,5,1,3,2,3,0,2,1,16,21,1,0,7,0,1,8,10,8,0,0,7,7,45,5,50,46,8,56,0,1,1,0,22,17,0,13,33,192,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478437678720526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005021740169031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420635529186888,0.0,0.1182530258880304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782809513867256,0.0,0.2005691743621866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398495674946222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931787220696104,0.0,0.14979319755356704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550650447684526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889932936661773,0.0,0.08897632338296728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896784243316587,0.0,0.0,0.07700867654344037,0.0,0.09696818549949086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562835815833346,0.0,0.16393059873188945,0.0,0.08792539397739248,0.06211450391785564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015236487533733,0.0,0.13627766883658254,0.0,0.0988272512108416,0.0,0.06953895458635123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688638761986799,0.0,0.07788686928320462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655663777724268,0.0,0.17442859605390146,0.0,0.0,0.1003244370415752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149884127350427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126186877563555,0.0,0.0,0.09446748512855503,0.0,0.0,0.04247760442616827,0.0,0.15355047483066675,0.3077792047231577,0.07301305258222164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803737695377935,0.0,0.0,0.09471008585298217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223635827755997,0.0877910478176097,0.0,0.06939976281294777,0.0924102311320292,0.0,0.1934088944152877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834273867259757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225326428764814,0.0,0.20402566250550516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327058801832654,0.0,0.0,0.08319593348133468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055700070847076864,0.08939534899431574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915270953770967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192293553127199,0.0,0.17401832274490228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615410880153479,0.0,0.06943548319080296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537284943830188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571172299144979,0.0,0.0,0.1520973822058186,0.0,0.08241499214519056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509374732883985,0.0,0.0717398607993083,0.051283221577803434,0.0,0.13948626656900312,0.0,0.0,0.08060015583113815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381319774482468,0.09428962910360374,0.18989397809980324,0.0,0.0,0.06176420645295647,0.0,0.0,0.16797183439938246
mentalhealth,faithyedge,2018/03/08,"I met my soulmate in the mental hospital So about 7 months ago I was admitted to a mental hospital for overdosing on xanax. My first day there I didn’t talk to anyone but i remember when I first walked in I saw this cute blonde guy with beautiful blue eyes. I knew I wanted to get to know him but not until I was completely sober. The next day I finally left my room and sat on the couch and was watching TV and he came and sat next to me and we hit it off so fast and we had so many things in common but the one that really hit me was that we were at the same school in 8th grade and had no idea. coincidence or fate? From that point on we talked everyday for hours and always sat with each other during meals, group therapy and outside time. We had this crazy chemistry and connection it just felt so right. One day he smoothly gave me his number and I kept it in a little cup next to my bed. The 5th day I was there I found out I was getting discharged and I told him. I could tell he was sad. We were playing a board game and the nurse came in and said my parents were there ready to pick me up. As soon as I walked out he came after me and asked “Hey do you still have my number” and i replied “yes ill text you” and he said “okay bye”.  Now 7 months later still dating im completely head over heels in love. He is my best friend and soulmate. We have made so many plans for the future. I truly believe he is my perfect person. 
Let me know your thoughts or similar stories ",0.5975157053112491,2.7694923656957933,2.1220493051589564,96.0356838949172,84.88996763754045,5.577041690462593,18.47334856272606,6.923569853693429,0.017918636969350477,1147,29,263,15,34,371,169,309,0.043,0.784,0.173,0.9927,1,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,7,3,0,5,15,8,0,0,11,2,21,7,3,2,1,56,49,32,0,2,7,1,2,0,1,0,2,2,3,2,10,33,1,1,9,3,0,5,3,1,0,4,32,9,46,7,34,13,3,54,0,1,5,1,39,21,0,2,29,168,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305298090582144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734664932630526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073400154033609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813637577885002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826957732729773,0.11016357522587092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36018634413795964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22012616108060828,0.0,0.0,0.08381307439916963,0.0,0.0,0.27079778614361105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079135445908663,0.11499371744211558,0.0,0.17858139992082006,0.0,0.11509840411353665,0.08110253318305086,0.0,0.10968900401812268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394061171260513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773345116694327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033780931459093,0.0,0.0,0.11850269491074435,0.11338976750937507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538176114766432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140543910566191,0.10734286994552072,0.0,0.0,0.10521137152143872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474299465721928,0.09932879144542793,0.0,0.21285400752077907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21157789373533772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757824507200642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349226290403343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226598987293493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165610333991887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165911348067088,0.0,0.0,0.09923421521421157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672489338911553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891490432772345,0.0896470910960875,0.19970833302944307,0.0,0.0,0.10623913665081476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676644983672866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687480024901378,0.09175176849720494,0.0,0.1200467417026794,0.0,0.0697399589591751,0.0,0.0,0.08333750819842475,0.061211093902427585,0.0,0.0,0.1003070086091156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191629427329825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throw_away1987234541,2018/03/08,"Please help me So about a month ago I bought a dab pen (weed vape that uses THC oil) and the first time I used it I got WAY too high and nearly had a panic attack. Since then, since I'm an idiot, I smoked it nearly everyday for a week or two, and then from that point on went on normally smoking real weed about twice a week or so sometimes more. Since that first bad experience and on I kept on feeling more and more foggy in daily life. Up until recently the symptoms i had seemed to line up with ""depersonalization disorder"". After this past sunday where I had a long night of drinking and smoking with friends, the next and days since then everything has felt like a dream in a sense and I've been very foggy, and feel like I'm living life in autopilot almost. It's hard to describe, but things don't feel normal. Should I be worried? see a doctor? I haven't smoked in 4 days now and things seem a little better at times but even worse at others. What should I do?

EDIT: I am a 17 year old male, with no past mental health problems and no serious medical conditions.",4.628524916943518,5.2176753906976785,5.327657807308974,84.21866279069769,69.51162790697674,8.18936877076412,25.12458471760797,8.192908349453996,1.3183421926910301,839,21,173,11,14,272,134,215,0.132,0.795,0.07200000000000001,-0.9266,0,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,2,1,15,0,12,7,0,2,0,34,27,21,0,5,4,0,5,2,1,2,6,0,0,1,11,14,1,1,6,2,1,1,4,6,0,4,9,7,12,4,26,15,3,46,0,0,1,0,3,18,0,5,28,109,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922949028231212,0.0,0.11209336060228428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734975101494758,0.0,0.0,0.09346657531596493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900326437773546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438616596176135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829479251915327,0.114576989506404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966016912708372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393638301402458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060590831858657,0.10950038242239957,0.0,0.0,0.1698031367546115,0.07997111434360223,0.1074815081739452,0.0,0.0,0.19043496635513046,0.0,0.0,0.08648581646732577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952993806267914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027770225050182,0.0,0.0,0.11898870542312767,0.0,0.0,0.07503210698999248,0.11827246555279056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813535075375806,0.10937804043641083,0.11219490946283267,0.09884649965519353,0.0990648094286041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276940338864858,0.11281082210365452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893507315887571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905118080820536,0.10504962546151593,0.219358036580425,0.0,0.0,0.11746389759771356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313393696811499,0.0,0.0,0.21372188188506885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228782812459565,0.10582101184095914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711301048394864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741406854636908,0.0,0.0,0.11052884314456823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920297650220567,0.203814889785395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703970530879803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071312264892724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635020289463475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873807399748498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305481154592576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935069513857863,0.0,0.0,0.19336323323345145,0.0,0.09236355841403382,0.0,0.08885404600097997,0.17958562766441594,0.0,0.0,0.10377100148152693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136821469644864,0.11407807229239945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208673191166531
mentalhealth,KieransFace,2018/03/08,"Why I'll never be truly happy Okay. This is the first 'Confession' post I've ever made on any social media. After you have read this post, I understand if you are disgusted. Just please don't hate on me in the comments. So, I will never be happy. And that's because I do some pretty bad stuff. So, to clear this up, I am a pansexual male. So, let's start with how I found out I wasn't straight. Um so I am, let's say, not of age, and  I used to stuff with.... Dildos. I know, its pretty disgusting. Now you might be thinking, doing things with dildos when you are male does not mean you aren't gay, but I have been attracted to opposite genders, non gender etc. On to the next thing. I am going to disown my sister. She has put me and my family through so much, and I hate her, but I feel like its wrong to get her out of my life. Next point, I keep pushing the fact that I have a crush on my best friend down on her. She is amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, and kind, but itsblike I'm forcing her to ask me out. One day she'll snap and stop talking to me. Finally, my mum is so ill and depressed that she frequently talks about suicide. She is only 35! I don't want her to do it, but I know she will, and I won't be able to stop it.

So. That's it. There is more, but I've had enough for today. I might make a post tomorrow.
Thanks, Aaron.",0.6293648930620748,2.359169602112676,2.7220813771517984,94.28123891497131,81.85211267605635,6.038393322900365,18.969222743870628,7.0931098945946705,0.10211178925404284,1013,24,240,13,27,342,153,284,0.134,0.68,0.18600000000000005,0.9652,0,0,0,0,0,1,54.0,0,5,0,2,15,18,4,0,7,1,35,3,0,4,5,47,55,23,1,2,9,2,1,1,1,6,2,1,0,2,16,14,0,3,8,1,0,3,9,7,1,2,5,2,44,11,30,38,6,37,1,1,0,1,28,13,0,4,19,170,60,1,0.1077805294709466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329445599208376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076024575333696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899922401125168,0.0657020103827825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131090161495166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950952504802589,0.0,0.09283121210096937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431946766019632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136609849509592,0.12020378085638556,0.0,0.09749365945823496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160589096373046,0.0,0.054497074143072116,0.07699843178961231,0.0,0.11806830176476213,0.0,0.09167806330827816,0.0,0.11817578744125842,0.08327096970809013,0.0,0.056310878171266,0.0,0.0612541587016153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294687555852489,0.0,0.21282191796124444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580028680996823,0.0,0.11223683572925952,0.11846672058575294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22042578747665867,0.07612857541426621,0.052656122494673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198454300958852,0.07194434035138426,0.0,0.0,0.11740459353878605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22867621870567215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923109054781095,0.0,0.1662539775737453,0.0,0.22925163167159876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303487615154035,0.08197194943932187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183106554735473,0.10188743809589923,0.0,0.3096718618290484,0.21930309254346947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834920130029392,0.0,0.0,0.1078096964129122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571140302898697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098686766734996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628761350287674,0.0,0.0,0.18021869746069974,0.0,0.0,0.2467658399569632,0.11789440575340887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732598138697052,0.0,0.09922983076603004,0.0,0.0,0.14320918920807654,0.06906141129794625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216333949193304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220333226378028,0.0,0.09308777204713238,0.0,0.0,0.06357174877919225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725516365857703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784108930550713,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mikaylajillson,2018/03/08,"Not being able to brush off thoughts is ruining your life So, my friend Leah today was telling me all about this issue she has mentally. For some perspective, she’s an 18 year old female, she just started seeing a therapist and was prescribed something for anxiety, which she claims calms her down a bit. (I’m not a fan of prescription drugs for mental issues but that’s a whole different discussion) Anyways, she was telling me that when she’s talking to people, sometimes people will say certain things that if she doesn’t quite understand what it meant, or takes it the wrong way, it is IMPOSSIBLE to let that thought go. She said she feels the need to bring it up or it eats her alive, and cannot pay attention to anything else that’s being said because the thought is just right there screaming. Even the smallest thing that people would normally just shrug off, or not even care about. 

She told me she never used to be like this, and that she’s becoming almost OCD about things that she hadn’t been before, she said it’s not that she’s suicidal, but she does not want to live this way anymore, and she doesn’t know how to make all these thoughts stop. 

I just wanted to know if anybody has ever felt the same way or similar and what they do to deal with it or overcome it. Any possible natural things she could do, I just wanted to be able to help her out a bit. 


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mentalhealth,yeyeyeyeyeyenonono,2018/03/08,"Worried about my SO (anxiety/depression) Not sure exactly where to ask this, concerned about my SO's well-being, and want to be better informed. She has a history of depression and anxiety, and recently went through a pretty heavy traumatic event. She has anxiety and fears that involve her going to hell, and the floor opening up and her falling through. She gets extreme anxiety and paranoia after watching a trailer for a horror movie/reading about something even a little bit scary. 

She's on meds for depression/anxiety. Not exactly sure what.

What does this mean for her mental state? In my eyes, it's not something that can be written off as normal/functioning behavior. It gets in the way of her daily life and leads to her having what seems like a sense of impending doom throughout the day. Aside from reassurance/doing things to get her mind off her fears, what can be done?",7.3615527950310575,8.254733633540372,7.033099378881989,73.31461801242237,63.596273291925456,10.663602484472053,37.218012422360246,10.577609850970193,4.2227585093167725,709,34,117,17,10,223,97,161,0.244,0.701,0.055,-0.9849,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,1,2,9,0,9,2,1,1,4,22,19,11,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,5,0,0,3,2,14,4,25,13,1,20,2,2,2,0,14,10,1,1,5,83,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447643106133462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676057979672776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293808387475806,0.15970983069602784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434438032470133,0.0,0.2519972097178242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801859490204714,0.14970456045064795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662258419903301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292318620170881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292900823133471,0.0,0.08313947823729133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332833187248512,0.07146947477527868,0.1466201299598217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593517380105416,0.16249423400811208,0.0,0.14742502558185624,0.0,0.1477103090500701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333227766366613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488286271198731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632870810213147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444428577353048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317612078461075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22524102352194175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757515290343034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718799116598628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628511330765906,0.11611749440767127,0.0,0.0,0.13153148766662764,0.13561148002283155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485637025944235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OrangeJews42,2018/03/08,"21/m I’m a complete mess I have no idea who I am anymore, I don’t enjoy life as I used to, I don’t feel suicidal but I also never felt so peaceful and accepting of death as I do now. 

I’ve lost all understanding of myself and who I am, I’m always forgetting stuff like leaving the iron on after ironing or leaving the light in the bathroom on as I exit, it’s like my brain is hollow and I’m just constantly in my own little world ignoring everything that is happening in reality. 


I’d really like to hear similar stories from people who went through / going through something similar, I’m completely lost and hoping someone could guide me out of the darkness. ",6.6266917293233085,5.807699488721808,8.14481203007519,70.50939849624062,65.39097744360903,11.509774436090224,37.796992481203006,10.914260884657429,4.2462360902255645,524,25,97,13,7,184,88,133,0.157,0.669,0.174,0.6633,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,10,0,0,5,0,9,2,1,1,2,20,24,11,2,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,4,13,6,18,19,2,15,0,2,0,0,4,9,0,2,7,65,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309738157827163,0.1362770489688475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624245219765701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828312618608862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434378292044254,0.1769866568765071,0.0,0.13076401364242732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471937896270638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281146242533449,0.0,0.15725329423850976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307924400486614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482901722429614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459056641846253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266926385161065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488628564288176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468361196499499,0.0,0.0,0.1156817822157188,0.2400420891211689,0.16414934447392385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575677285479131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631627691393066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354357101980897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492086791734308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876921248284876,0.12608489151487642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748749730860506,0.17914738186814513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704994658862904,0.0,0.14145226433443622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182455202424433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4001089,2018/03/08,"I dont know what to do anymore This is a list of things that have happened/are happening in my life.


I was a bullied at school and became a bully, primarily due to my own immaturity I think. I cant forgive myself for it. I was always a bit of an odd duck at school. The kids that I made friends with all had issues, by issues I mean being obsessed with Columbine, talking about attacking other students. I remember one kid talking me about how he wanted to sneak up behind another and hit him in the back of the head with a hammer. This wasn't just one specific group, these were different kids over different years some with me as the only connection but I never wanted to hurt anyone so how did I attract them or did they attract me?


After school, I became friends (i wouldn't call them that anymore) with a group of guys who would insult me or tell me to shut up as soon as I said something. I haven't really made a friend since then.


I spent the vast majority of my 20's unemployed moving in no direction whatsoever. I became a social recluse to the point that I would get scared walking past people on the street. eventually, i started smoking weed I smoked pretty much 24/7 to the point that being sober felt like I was I high and being high felt normal.


When I did get a job, I was hated there. People called me a useless cunt. I was told by people I used to work with that I had all the signs of a serial killer, these people weren't professional psychologists just assholes that didn't understand me. Truth is I can't even kill a bug without feeling bad about it.


I began seeing a psychologist who told me I have hyperarousal & hypervigilance (PTSD). I do have flashbacks but a lot of them aren't stressful, I can have a flashback to yesterday breakfast. When I spoke to my psychologist about how I wanted to die, she told me I was just a good person looking for a way out of a hellish life. I want to give my life to save someone else, anyone else. I have fantasized about that since I was 14 and I still do today.
I don't believe that it's because I want to die, it's more about wanting to give that gift, its kind of hard to explain.


Now I'm in my late 20's, I'm virtually unemployable no qualifications to my name. My social skills are extremely bad (if anyone has advice on how to fix that it would be greatly appreciated). I still haven't made any friends though I do have a girlfriend somehow (i think my parents are involved in that but no one will say anything when I ask them). I talk to myself way too much for example if I'm having dinner at a restaurant  I will partake in the conversation the people at the next table are having without actually being part of it. This seems to make people think I'm mental which makes me wonder. my short term memory is screwed it a be a challenge to remember what I did last week. My long-term memory I need to sort of force it if I want to remember something from my past. My mind feels like its extremely slow. I also have a recurring nightmare but I don't run away from the monster in it, i tell others to run away as I run towards to it.

I'm not sure where I belong 

What the hell do I do now?




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mentalhealth,sannabornindecember,2018/03/08,"So I've had this spiritual experience and my memory of it corrupts my will to live When I was in my pre-teens I started kind of meditating to music, without knowing what mediation is, focusing as much as I can on the sound and on my feelings. Long story short, after several years of this ""training"" with the same songs I felt such deep happiness when listening to them that all other life has seemed meaningless compared to, ever since. I am now 25 and I miss that bliss, I just feel like pushing play and, I don't know, killing myself to music or something, because I know I'll never feel anything near this in real life. I'm in a happy long-term relationship, have just graduated with flying colours and have what looks like a fulfilling life, and as a disclaimer, I am actually far from suicidal, so no need for wake-up calls. But has anyone encountered something similar or even know what to google? Google results to ""music addition"" or ""dangers of meditation"" have been no help.",8.731615615615617,7.582320924324327,8.946666666666667,67.53111111111114,61.37837837837838,12.330330330330332,39.474474474474476,11.429527900616536,4.5637267267267285,781,35,138,19,9,259,121,185,0.093,0.78,0.127,0.7706,0,0,2,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,1,0,11,9,2,0,5,0,14,3,0,1,3,32,29,17,2,1,7,0,4,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,10,9,0,0,9,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,9,16,6,26,24,3,19,0,1,2,0,5,9,0,4,11,97,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.14712041321117614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541518438566064,0.0,0.12406297223369707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919021469419076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539432351593781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957582928932428,0.13637142250647152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747261013756036,0.0,0.0,0.22868698019839226,0.10770326739468816,0.144753636483107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209745207415846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105152527459453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679405722081586,0.15699376791350356,0.331415915572984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31945960938358536,0.14730784274950165,0.0,0.13312420454278634,0.2668364383032097,0.12660077485227902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108262484430866,0.11178693411804293,0.11627572267303793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159835281940852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186026038362916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724661556708342,0.0,0.1703163516362709,0.0,0.12471056949242927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23212545900214096,0.0,0.0,0.1067089945215146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490741969773812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532765583787927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708476149691686
mentalhealth,apolloxijedi,2018/03/08,"Can't get a hold of my old psychologist. Gah Recently I moved back in the town I used to live in and knew I needed to see a psychologist so I figured why not contacting my old one. They run a office by them self not even secretary. I have contacted them a multiple ways including texting since they run their office by cell phone. I am saddened with the fact that I might be able to see my old doc, they were one of the first doctors I could truly open up to about everything.",3.707334315169368,4.79541419587629,5.020471281296022,83.74938144329897,71.98969072164948,9.25419734904271,27.259204712812963,9.606745405546679,2.2786153166421217,375,13,80,9,7,125,66,97,0.039,0.929,0.033,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,6,1,4,0,0,0,7,0,7,1,0,1,1,13,13,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,2,17,0,13,8,0,15,0,0,2,0,11,5,0,1,6,54,18,1,0.18789266808395952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447786383432049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001700649949026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923161074779849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410133521149865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886581468468562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982140748720194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981661640899809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659126682713922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993244284049556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970017076924027,0.0,0.13932003260490344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5914852446159516,0.0,0.2546418691883225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552134219253544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994522598343449,0.0,0.19601303067983988,0.0,0.0,0.1554267566683088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622789379657101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914045424123473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954390811076878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tswyatswb,2018/03/08,"Sometimes I hear voices and I’m scared my child will get taken away if I admit it I’ve had problems with depression since I was around 14, with things getting so bad only three times that I’ve actually sought help for it. My first time put me off greatly as I was referred to a children’s psychologist because I was under 17 and then as soon as I turned 17 they discharged me even though on the same day I told the psychiatrist I wanted to die, so I lost all faith in getting help.

Since 2014 I occasionally hear voices that say incredibly hurtful things to me. It’s hard to explain because it changes but sometimes they’re already in my head but other times it’s like there’s a man standing next to me saying it. I hear them most when I feel really down.

I gave birth in 2016 and had been completely fine until around November last year, and things are kind of coming to a head. I’m on 30mg is citalopram but I really don’t think it does anything. I’m scared that if I divulge this to my doctor tomorrow in case they’re going to think I have a serious problem and take my daughter away. 

I don’t know what to do",3.5282635499614687,4.751878209606988,4.709817621371696,85.28811713331625,72.58078602620088,7.48430516311328,27.007706139224247,7.928766900206844,1.5195967634215255,886,31,184,12,17,292,133,229,0.119,0.82,0.06,-0.8937,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,9,14,0,2,6,0,13,3,2,0,1,28,37,19,1,5,5,1,2,1,0,1,1,7,0,3,16,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,2,9,0,2,10,9,28,5,30,26,3,31,1,3,0,0,17,13,0,3,15,116,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.10822791125694148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223871371786059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126589611944456,0.1974590749494591,0.0,0.0,0.20839900866820046,0.0,0.09260158110178106,0.13521410369170422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732346692059566,0.0955353929710945,0.11628245878797384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152496607522263,0.0,0.09552286958738472,0.0,0.11510254983973173,0.0,0.0,0.11351662720398085,0.0970542773809414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325213259285941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560772264893044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433628504059152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383086626255898,0.0,0.06303023391502464,0.0,0.0,0.12227386522128772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993496738942139,0.0,0.22764237624293654,0.0,0.3749961671128632,0.0,0.14867543219986806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872678685282805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549116272020354,0.060950842097427814,0.090402903111529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054182896120813236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106661271153395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794941172933696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434874067570505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122434483954195,0.0,0.11149080564032833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209799226671424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639324077303953,0.22207179672309427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348459133887127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937703764898508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338724271500995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104234763560768,0.14212771837470325,0.10896423318281792,0.0,0.1940099205601291,0.0,0.0,0.10597509662164313,0.0,0.0,0.1206334944787583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541502292862289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141959924084451
mentalhealth,1usernamesaredumb,2018/03/08,"I don’t know what’s wrong Long post sorry in advance I hope I’m doing this right. Last year I had a family member die and I fell pretty hard into situational depression, my dog died that summer and I was just getting worse and worse. I started to push a lot of people away and I focused on my studies because I wanted to do well and I just needed something to do. If I wasn’t sleeping, I was studying in the library or eating or in class. I’ve struggled with time management a lot and paying attention has been a struggle with ADD but with meds it’s manageable. Anyways, last semester I nailed it. I did better than I ever have before. I was organized and got work in on time and got mostly A’s. I’m usually an A & B student but this was different, I felt like I finally had school figured out. Like after years of struggling at this middle ground of “not bad” I finally could express my love for learning and show others what I can really do. I was miserable, but I was proud of myself and I had drive. A lot of my sadness turned to anger, fear, and hate; and soon I just receded inwards socially and emotionally. I barely felt anything anymore other than those three things and it was like a fuel I was using and it was working. It scared me because I like being happy I like having fun but I was doing well so i didn’t care. This semester I got back and had a panic attack in bed. But I decided I was sick of being so numb to everything and I wanted to work through it. So I sat up all night and just talked myself through my problems. And surprisingly I felt a lot better. I smiled genuinely for the first time in a year and finally felt like I was on the right track. And now I can’t seem to do anything right. My grades are the worst they’ve ever been. I can’t focus at all and everything just feels so jumbled and confusing . I feel like I can’t relate to anyone and am just not interested in talking to new people. Now more than ever I feel myself receding inwards emotionally and socially. Like I can finally feel again but I’m just so distracted by these feelings I can’t focus on anything else. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot like I’m talking to myself or just imagining conversations with people rather than having them with real people. I feel like I’m going insane and I don’t know what’s happening. I feel like everything I’m doing is wrong and all my drive is gone now. If anyone can make any heads or tails of what’s going on I’d appreciate it.",2.3197839104399907,4.3330383493014,4.343836240562354,83.31805063785474,77.68263473053892,7.230773236136423,24.66375943764645,8.18289091462,1.6424931528247857,1947,69,380,36,46,666,216,501,0.17,0.662,0.168,0.0427,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,8,27,43,3,9,17,0,49,6,2,2,6,100,90,44,2,9,23,0,12,11,0,0,2,0,1,0,21,35,1,0,20,1,1,8,10,20,2,2,31,12,60,23,50,56,11,62,0,3,0,1,9,23,0,15,41,277,81,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851810238583833,0.0,0.043003855260763904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271487993116404,0.08843464473874055,0.0,0.1561179009265906,0.0,0.0,0.07194209793761586,0.059413970920531974,0.04862594525183275,0.052800900368352124,0.07709832091932166,0.0,0.053810688523781736,0.0,0.0,0.11185734538531954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447512580704204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049021733359268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446660262138425,0.0,0.13126165220766553,0.06607001500900678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470803076922498,0.052827046205269526,0.14226796976295222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716065627379908,0.0,0.0,0.1705021027133934,0.0,0.05961494589873415,0.07116007760110837,0.22382443253086426,0.13553123648304,0.2428727225897767,0.2770955642551963,0.0,0.05379001879108236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033039127198722616,0.0,0.07187896926907082,0.0,0.15173107574504655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592095525502267,0.06731778699006552,0.0566486248992974,0.06243421028537285,0.06490020086377897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628093789459711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950765424655475,0.10309445310561384,0.07133496422070128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398426066029328,0.0,0.0,0.055963440566502314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26881247291021826,0.05707456056671996,0.0,0.042211705611625294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024291167268469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689000860158275,0.0,0.06107543679244235,0.0,0.059344367641324926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419590318285718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536444218663266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060564307555385465,0.06433555118408864,0.0,0.06051000986821426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197843203413158,0.04051173772060649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201414201352876,0.0,0.0,0.06331204431870938,0.06400000402426513,0.0,0.057569294973981625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108190823751075,0.06328344418965227,0.12892589501910345,0.0,0.04868352842454398,0.0,0.0707895113399413,0.044760022362689215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983295572932168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248438351799284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042012367520543686,0.040520212550342605,0.0,0.0,0.11062336478583368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878453960800206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05461713333535388,0.06964747458404877,0.0,0.07459855581626251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371670787878545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381135592560121,0.0,0.1288893897944242,0.0,0.13828115864076035,0.0,0.1221691605800542
mentalhealth,Nazahmed,2018/03/08,"Does anyone else think about violently hurting themselves? I am lying on my bed staring at the white wall thinking about what it would like if I cut my throat and sprayed my blood all over the it.  Or even just stab myself in the throat.  These thoughts are constant.  I think about stabbing myself in the stomach, jumping off bridges and stepping in front of speeding traffic.  Last month I stood on a busy road and contemplated stepping in front of the bus.  But I decided it was going too slow and wouldn't do what I needed it to do.  Today I was close to stepping in front of a motor cycle.  I wondered what it would do to me.  For as long as I can remember I've had these thoughts.  If I hear on the news someone's been killed I feel jealous it wasn't me.  I know I must be crazy.  Just need the guts to do what I'm always fantasizing.   ",2.877321428571431,4.588010184523808,3.629285714285718,90.4157142857143,75.13095238095238,5.990476190476191,26.880952380952376,6.5431188927421005,0.9707452380952376,653,25,137,5,14,207,100,168,0.154,0.831,0.015,-0.9726,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,4,0,9,0,17,5,5,0,2,29,31,10,1,8,6,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,12,5,0,0,10,0,0,8,2,5,0,0,8,4,20,1,24,18,1,29,0,1,2,0,1,14,0,4,8,95,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117346728204202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354391658509786,0.1984679866474796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093203027750078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950770236589555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181104347849512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793666620669544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794026676376584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008386666550793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831336855570369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073592776309752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429975302458049,0.0,0.10645215728771497,0.15789091225206658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463177179631033,0.0,0.0,0.17141792633125094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546090606085847,0.0,0.0,0.2872513897921053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194237282120849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641209234944025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723443773061454,0.0,0.3075514688790841,0.0,0.0,0.18360443896581347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005880121135292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27519707710426616,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SneakingSprinkles,2018/03/08,"Being touched sometimes sends me into an unbearable rage... any ideas on how to cope? I have an adorable awesome 1yr old baby who loves to cuddle and I love cuddling him too. I’ve never been a touchy feely person, but it’s different with my own tiny person. That being said, sometimes with no warning... touch will feel unbearable. Like I’d rather die than feel the sensation of being touched. It’s happening right now so I’m sitting on the stairs watching him through a baby gate to avoid being touched. Even my cat rubbing up against me can set me off. I’m on 3 meds (Effexor, Seroquel, and Propranolol). My doctor referred me to my first appointment with a psychiatrist to get a better diagnosis and to better determine medicines/doses but the appointment isn’t for a month and a half. It’s so confusing how I can be totally fine with touching for days at a time and suddenly out of nowhere I feel absolute disgust and rage.  Any ideas on ways to cope or try to calm myself would be great. Also, I know this isn’t the place to seek a diagnosis, but any ideas on what this is or what causes it? My current diagnosis is depression and anxiety. I’ve been on my meds for 8-9 months but the issues with touch just don’t stop.",3.9162519268883504,5.637093895397495,4.868090728914336,82.56527637084343,72.38912133891212,8.378859282096455,29.73375908390222,8.99025400887824,2.5138903765690372,967,41,187,20,19,315,137,239,0.112,0.747,0.141,0.7493,2,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,10,15,3,2,15,0,18,5,0,3,2,39,29,18,1,2,8,0,10,1,0,2,1,1,1,2,10,14,0,2,8,0,0,1,5,6,0,2,3,12,18,9,33,18,2,29,0,1,1,4,9,14,0,3,12,123,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542814223986777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689563001071641,0.0,0.10085316578870687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23319411381622174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135430527108174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502245918455494,0.0,0.11354901269220495,0.0,0.1368235789933065,0.13773917615134,0.0,0.13493837652531535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707555970048197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19997871912398887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213850749752023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887817659025829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534819498105367,0.0,0.0,0.11658096801359515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464759044654208,0.0,0.1376011493323382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245288979295303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440776314508002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23797188332977026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29287720860811045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104583601624864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167902897313152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833831479125608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302259068150567,0.13773917615134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125860924090277,0.1254049660864403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26077572983289743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102196917513046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687385937787729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950709070136204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046442288868812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365157084082512,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youngyoon,2018/03/08,"When did Blood Pressure return to normal after starting or stopping Cymbalta/duloxetine? I'm otherwise healthy (eat well, workout regularly) but my blood pressure tends to be a bit high 120-130/80-90. Cymbalta's been working great for me but after a month I realized my blood pressure jumped to 150s/100-110s. I'm weening down from 60mg to 40mg, willing to try lower but I'm reading from users that say their blood pressure also went up when they were withdrawing. If you have experience coming off of or lowering your Cymbalta/duloxetine dosing, could you share when your blood pressure returned to normal? I don't want to freak out unnecessarily. Thanks!",5.784745762711864,8.300616627118647,6.112000000000003,72.25969491525427,69.16949152542372,8.787796610169492,34.681355932203395,9.3871,3.70567186440678,534,27,84,12,10,171,82,118,0.168,0.684,0.14800000000000002,0.4075,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,2,1,5,10,0,5,2,0,8,7,5,0,0,14,17,10,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,2,0,3,1,6,1,0,4,1,11,4,17,10,1,18,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,3,10,50,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848759318429584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25239055434808155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914257496210333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845797858846477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365566063122127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22614007497131056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548786540094497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244256171854963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452703719589614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530179871564484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312442734049815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838449766155336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363160588735265,0.0,0.0,0.1932782631567656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128410604896356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695720751976766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635696365589306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786012321052227,0.21430776345928154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683030399519926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isIDamagedLOL,2018/03/08,"Lose interest in sex as soon as I start to love someone Hey, I'm a 30yo male, and I have a problem.


Whenever I start a relationship, the sex in the first few weeks is great.


Once I get to know the girls better, and start to love them for the person they are, the lust is gone, I don't care about them sexually anymore, and start looking around for other girls to have sex with.


I'm worried that this will continue forever.


What's wrong with me? ",4.06168498168498,4.604742879120884,4.977747252747253,86.38808608058609,70.75824175824175,8.704029304029303,27.25457875457875,8.841846274778883,1.7375699633699633,346,11,77,6,6,113,59,91,0.132,0.685,0.183,0.7948,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,3,3,9,0,0,8,0,7,6,0,0,0,8,20,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,1,9,6,14,18,1,12,0,1,1,6,11,3,0,0,8,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912290624031276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165376330293008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053668367391905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659637186481493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640155393960008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074230108969502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258854903682198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597073267140614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192314535853106,0.21572013312323726,0.0,0.0,0.3480614079537089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053506953586402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836601062324624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450601301960973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702023743890435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337869473516756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5459257591789964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467135134321935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958215868750129,0.0,0.0,0.2108221872059314,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlueCom9,2018/03/08,"My wife has started a blog discussing her depression and what helps her keep going. My wife and I have dealt with depression with varying degrees of success for roughly 15 years now. One thing that has helped her to feel better about herself is being able to write about her experiences, her highs and her lows, and putting it out on the Internet for people to read. She did this previously when we were dealing with our transition from a single faith family to a mixed faith family when I left the religion of our youth, and she's started again following some Facebook posts disparaging the use of mental health medication (just get out and enjoy life lol type drivel) that left her seething.

I'd like to share her [second post](https://gritgetsgoals.com/the-first-crash/) here, talking about 15 years ago, when she first discovered that she had been dealing with mental illness. I hope that her journey through life can help people recognize when and how they can find help.",12.462460776218002,9.886197046242774,10.009265070189926,67.3199421965318,55.41618497109826,13.353922378199835,42.05532617671345,11.491704259439757,4.670176548307183,791,30,133,15,7,234,111,173,0.078,0.748,0.174,0.9493,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,3,0,1,3,12,11,0,0,6,1,11,5,0,2,0,23,20,12,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,14,0,1,2,2,0,4,0,3,0,3,4,2,23,8,22,15,2,25,2,3,0,0,30,7,0,2,14,91,31,3,0.1340117834175125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879336019130465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185225320807246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27632052853158445,0.2308483053762273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310892390274467,0.2526687653254716,0.0,0.06776038429944968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248434221544705,0.2279807090299697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001562570326604,0.0,0.07616198481893313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244825909930384,0.0,0.0,0.3593010943104079,0.14159080693807372,0.0,0.13310393886875246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191158305709916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912083895926271,0.0,0.1893129716541336,0.0654713881811491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500277303847213,0.2701047155540093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908098526959214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581379392909653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566924884710213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347188566375478,0.0,0.0,0.1340480489093303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897084601155584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771359523486272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903147415286941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574315331009588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259838954393827
mentalhealth,_ladybear,2018/03/08,"A letter to my inner child I was neglected and abused as a child and it’s negatively affected my self esteem and relationships in my adult life. My therapist had me write a letter to my inner child. Here it is:

Dear child-me,

I am very sorry that you are suffering, overwhelmed, and in pain...and there is nobody around to comfort you.

You must feel so lonely and it must be so difficult to go through this all alone!!! It’s so scary and uncomfortable and really tough, but you know what? You’re going to make it through, okay???

I want you to know from this point forward, I will be here, with you, by your side, no matter what. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore. I’ll teach you how to get back up when you fall and show you how strong and tough you are! 

You are strong, beautiful, talented, kind, and funny! I want to shine the light on all of your positive traits and turn up the intensity so you can see clearly what a wonderful soul you are!

Before we do that, there are a few things you need to know.

Number one, it’s NOT your fault. 

It’s not your fault that your parents are constantly stressed out.
It’s not your fault that your dad hits you.
It’s not your fault your dad leaves you for months and you don’t know if he will come back.
It’s not your fault your dad stops speaking to you for weeks when you need him the most.
It’s not your fault your mom is too busy to be there for you.
It’s not your fault your dad criticizes you and yells at you when you really need his support.
It’s not your fault your dad is an alcoholic. 
It’s not your fault your parents hate each other and use you and your sister as shields.
It’s not your fault your parents are poor and unfortunate things happen to them.
It’s not your fault your sister is depressed.
It’s not your fault that your family is broken.

None of this is YOUR FAULT.

Number two, You are not a burden, to anyone!!

It’s okay to ask for lunch money without feeling bad. 
It’s okay to ask for a ride without feeling bad.
It’s okay to want a present without feeling bad.
It’s okay to call your mom when you fall off your bike or get a bee sting without feeling bad.
It’s okay to want to spend time with your mom without feeling bad.
It’s okay to bring up tough topics about your life without feeling bad.
It’s okay to talk to her without feeling like you’re disrupting important work.

You don’t add stress to anyone’s life.
You are not difficult to deal with.
In fact, you are amazing to be around and you inspire people. 
People want you to be around them!!!
Your needs and wants are good!

You are NOT a burden.


Number three, I am really sorry.

I’m sorry when the adults in your life failed to notice as you wailed in pain for hours.
I’m sorry when they failed to notice you drowning your feelings with alcohol and numbing your pain with drugs and cigarettes.
I’m sorry when they accepted that you were “just crazy” and ignored all of your cries for help, waiting for you to leave home.
I’m sorry when you had no one to talk to.
I’m sorry when you ate and ate and ate because eating gave you comfort... until you gained so much weight that you started vomiting and starving yourself. 
I’m sorry when you had to figure out how to do everything ALONE because you felt like it would be a burden if you asked for any help.
I’m sorry you were disconnected from your parents.
I’m sorry you had to figure out how to live life all alone. It must be such a struggle.
I’m sorry your mom never explained what to expect when your body changes.
I’m sorry your parents never talked about how to be in a healthy relationship. 
I’m sorry your first boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend and you weeped silently in your bed all alone because there was no one to talk to.
I’m sorry you felt like a sore loser at school and then came home to feel like a sore loser at home.
I’m sorry you felt insecure at home and at school and everywhere you walked on this planet.
I’m sorry you felt like you didn’t belong anywhere.

I know you feel very small and scared and unsure, but it’s okay. It’s okay because I’m here for you now. Yes, I’m going to guide you all through your life. 

I want you to know, I love you! I love you! I love you!!!!!!

I’ll be right here to support you and show you how wonderful you are. I will make happy memories with you. I will walk beside you. I’m on this path with you.

If you’re feeling down right now, it’s going to pass, hang in there my dear!!! We can work on this together. I know it sucks, but you’re going to feel crappy for a bit. It stinks, but you’re going to feel this, and it is OKAY. You have the right to feel this way and it’s not your fault. We are human. Good and bad things happen all the time. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Be good to yourself. Nurture yourself. Like everything else, it will eventually fade. And then you’ve faced it!! And it wasn’t THAT bad and it didn’t last THAT long.

You. Are. amazing. I believe in you. I love you. I am here for you.",1.2356490714312225,3.4190909223968577,2.343290951551321,95.36771990955259,82.31041257367387,5.3346332060644235,19.32872446899211,6.5495543723323575,-0.041675382733439736,3861,99,858,38,106,1224,302,1018,0.175,0.605,0.22,0.9974,5,7,4,0,1,0,136.0,3,117,4,12,44,95,3,6,23,12,66,27,2,10,14,167,160,73,1,19,32,16,20,6,1,9,15,2,5,7,64,58,8,4,33,3,3,18,37,53,0,6,20,26,151,42,124,120,14,91,1,10,2,4,175,40,1,7,40,555,215,7,0.0,0.040637115973217716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330753098283621,0.0,0.1776101486945022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02332358334889889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03401406037716972,0.04796343944018843,0.0,0.0,0.0915965606207789,0.09619104030203787,0.0,0.0,0.05274556339765569,0.22909689248475834,0.08363013516430533,0.0,0.029184780555969306,0.03864171529638146,0.035993275752809105,0.0,0.037444159186678254,0.03809696584487346,0.0,0.0,0.03502174321386425,0.03922738340197837,0.0,0.0,0.03628237413341778,0.029544395181454162,0.0,0.03706358350138368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0376743664832201,0.0,0.0353593790776947,0.029540522315222868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03977439413969613,0.03509506624086623,0.02865129202425025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164904641974666,0.0,0.03233277926078958,0.0,0.2601288938929464,0.04900450701956216,0.1317245199098466,0.0,0.0,0.029173570113777775,0.0,0.0,0.02649828525557297,0.0,0.035838221123274755,0.0,0.1364450448023895,0.08630174409781305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065861085857437,0.03651049437790161,0.0,0.03386183630708525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04597799397774407,0.0,0.13761338850971025,0.0,0.03377628409182633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035715732622816555,0.13194366995272247,0.027957168668221632,0.0,0.07263253461480669,0.0,0.0,0.14535269959021302,0.10053661864687127,0.0,0.03028546010625647,0.03035234777508132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381990055614606,0.0,0.04578790567320112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067600867466064,0.02737606315282359,0.0,0.025212724744360118,0.10172511438502822,0.052904935994695486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809622121653736,0.0,0.0,0.06972294145198134,0.0,0.10948537785410208,0.0,0.19041745007673533,0.0,0.0,0.04755535473472841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03242237250375588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591587328199787,0.0,0.0,0.07364569764713479,0.0,0.08787003681506103,0.0,0.0,0.034337938626723206,0.06942212130230747,0.027330792649620548,0.0,0.035779937016324266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6142947167702342,0.024276058645078227,0.0,0.0,0.02867437757985824,0.07857570201818935,0.03585535864191099,0.0,0.0,0.0778411510116464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026863232987867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03982222407478095,0.06835751931599497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039998480031969215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03730600275102812,0.03350382792272031,0.0,0.0,0.02962216419669025,0.0,0.05659831907812302,0.14160752990824116,0.027223884253151382,0.027511512199521446,0.04176530722883914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314320267175373,0.07438869345861755,0.04993820656911746,0.0,0.0,0.02436407197813521,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tupacabra1,2018/03/08,"Nothing is real Physically  impossible things keep happening to me just to mess with me. Things will teleport across the room when I need them, disappear entirely, or turn into other objects. Place that I know keep moving. Streets and building keep changing and moving when I try to find them. I'll do something simple like put something somewhere or write something and the results of whatever I do change so it's as though I never did it. Why is nothing real and I am all there is? This doesn't happen to other people so my assumption is this entire existence is meant to test me, or torture me, or some kind of experiment.",6.010705128205128,7.3037024957264975,6.45221153846154,74.8521634615385,66.77777777777779,8.926923076923078,33.42841880341881,9.188382445141503,3.14987264957265,500,22,84,9,8,162,77,117,0.07200000000000001,0.906,0.022,-0.7003,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,7,4,1,0,2,0,11,0,0,1,2,25,20,14,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,3,3,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,2,0,13,2,11,17,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,5,4,64,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127445762332845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459477868723694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510335773317148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26143068088799193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941634100710459,0.0,0.15393013730179322,0.08123713773188729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221661331344922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142151737613991,0.0,0.1096054852751693,0.1140066780599032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836715209499798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247868020878573,0.0,0.15443878713546386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859833961218807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364994465870277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34139352393078004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964079797371809,0.0,0.14523084693026125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035900398267213,0.16078399360561618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333831321776154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,0p4lt33th,2018/03/08,"my boyfriend (21) is developing paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations I won’t go into details unless asked, and he’s seeing a doctor later today. I’m posting more to see if anybody has advice in dealing with this/helping him feel safe, as well as any coping mechanisms for me. I hate to say it but seeing him like this is incredibly upsetting for me and sometimes freaks me out. I have anxiety myself so keeping these situations calm can be really difficult.",8.015647058823529,8.606811035294117,9.08705882352941,60.191764705882385,62.17647058823529,11.505882352941176,39.352941176470594,11.20814326018867,4.98869411764706,378,19,56,10,5,130,71,85,0.171,0.7240000000000001,0.105,-0.7252,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,1,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,12,16,9,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,5,10,4,11,14,1,7,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,3,40,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048794238527247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343955947444107,0.0,0.1726101822941803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21093829692382576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23261981093601475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309470167680501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140878520206506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823358874740104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276788125698044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123840612160078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055478421497894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023387962777798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609598987864864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445475795530695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794340341938615,0.0,0.0,0.5394057235775973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25362323029948153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22315881664368464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21387562802530474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287299192131303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sartevscamus,2018/03/08,"I can't keep pretending it's fine. Not mentally ill, nor depressed. I know it sounds that way, but I have nobody else to talk to. 
I hate every aspect of my life. I met someone years ago. We were told we couldn't have children. Somehow it happened. Morally couldnt go through with an abortion, and I knew it'd crush the other person to adopt out our child. 
I hate being a parent. It's more than exhausting. Parent 2 had ""been there"" the whole time, but is nothing even close to a primary caregiver. For our child's first year of life, they literally never changed a diaper, dressed the child, or gave the child a bath. Caused by a mix of illness and physical disability. 
For a full year, I literally woke up every 3 hours to tend to every need. I had an emergency c section, and as soon as we all were home, I was the 24/7 caregiver. I never had a recovery break. 
In over 2 1/2 years, the longest ""break"" I ever had for myself was 9 hours. When parent 2 offers to give me a break, they can't handle it and call within 2 hours for backup. 
On top of it, I primarily deal with at least 75% of our day to day needs and errands. I manage the budget, bills, clean house, cook, keep everyone's schedule up to date, prepare all types of paperwork and research. 
I feel alone and isolated all the time. I'm supposed to be ""with' parent 2 but all they talk about is how they're failing because everyone and everything gets in their way. No acceptance of any responsibility for anything in their life. 
Here I am up at 6:09am. I haven't slept. Been up with the boy all day and night. Asked him to watch him a half hour ago parent 2 says ok. Doesn't. Proceeds to let him scream. 
I feel like I have noone in this world to talk to. I feel alone and enslaved. 
Whats the next step?",2.2271566901408453,4.1406147464788745,3.6278301056338056,88.81202684859156,77.59154929577466,6.803697183098593,23.48811619718309,7.756953410329674,1.0608045774647883,1365,44,290,21,32,448,195,355,0.132,0.8029999999999999,0.065,-0.9783,5,2,0,0,0,0,59.0,6,0,5,3,9,10,2,0,21,1,26,8,1,2,8,47,49,19,0,4,5,5,3,1,0,0,6,3,3,7,11,19,1,2,6,3,2,2,11,6,0,2,16,7,37,4,50,27,10,53,1,2,1,0,38,19,0,2,28,183,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660347408226216,0.0,0.0,0.18297237443192624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060069363391916764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269040466160942,0.0,0.08257928564569403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384688219377895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019771054310673,0.0,0.0,0.0907421638085254,0.09344443707208676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090213152385125,0.09106728410284587,0.0760809496206303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379075704222206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058343010772962375,0.07990211509363031,0.22327269402551786,0.16881163687690265,0.07938786499390403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399122100790264,0.06310500183366519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513587249391558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615026550102325,0.08473691351860015,0.0502015912187257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781124427581706,0.0,0.0,0.17442079287906095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886050453560887,0.0,0.3479602345471187,0.10192424287639056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702858186325494,0.0,0.0,0.04854542129000081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032631833924053,0.18717630136564795,0.04315496600838977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901873125240398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099537002248496,0.13625547060895735,0.0,0.09394298234888644,0.08289439082831965,0.0,0.08475774674596069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4904158522177331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712883275013585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024582344857483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484413258066705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299578350808554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301518408311452,0.0,0.0,0.08440581843845132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022900097975158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862046645079686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275338232714021
mentalhealth,lee_he_15,2018/03/08,"Is this anxiety? For the past two/three months I've been very anxious about pretty much everything. I'll think of one thing and then assure myself that it's fine and then move on to worry about something else. In my mind I exaggerate every situation. Even when I weigh out the positives and negatives of the situations I still can't cheer up or calm myself down. 

Sometimes, I will get brief moments (an hour at most) where I realise that everything is fine and I'm exaggerating stuff but then I suddenly begin worrying and panicking again without reason. 

Does this seem like anxiety? Depression? I'm unsure of what it is and really need a solution because it's almost constant worrying. Thank you!

Edit: I'm 15",3.259874686716792,6.150064962406019,4.81386466165414,76.34210025062659,79.82706766917293,8.659448621553885,26.911779448621555,9.21078282632365,3.036378847117794,572,24,97,17,15,191,97,133,0.205,0.6579999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.8713,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,1,1,18,15,12,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,7,1,0,3,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,10,7,14,13,2,22,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,4,14,65,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494056031999368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282803095717057,0.16855731708012694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909529776419459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123581648690474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285086272018672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056885753295222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124640254031623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854740587023486,0.0,0.12571025792901647,0.0,0.2681887015797019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795259252297773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693524556890086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289322052806768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065285096484474,0.0,0.11909269092876015,0.15857954910486802,0.1096816302143242,0.11063239388658608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110405174807402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424314808142778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179344708562206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558348693467544,0.15340589415188072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582912665790411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33542163479479564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486402867222248,0.14756592881714778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915398848580272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080213979482162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373663990872631,0.0,0.0,0.09912407632793474,0.09560348246740086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574999339594075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310839004553947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382670559953598,0.0,0.0,0.4545697349700166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,somedeepshit,2018/03/08,"My therapist fucking pissed me off. She LIED to me telling me depersonalization-derealization is psychosis.(maybe as a scare tactic) I am fucking BULLSHIT! I have been in a Psychiatric hospital twice for anxiety and was only diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Depersonalization-derealization disorder and now she tells me dpdr is psychosis this is fucking BULLSHIT and I bel. I was re-assured in the hospital I was not psychotic that It was the anxiety.

AND OF ALL THINGS!!! I ASK FOR FUCKING PROOF THAT I AM MENTALLY ILL FOR SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY PROOF AND INSTEAD OF MY DIAGNOSIS THE ONLY THING SHE WROTE  WAS ""ALCOHOL USE DISORDER"" I AM FUCKING LIVID!!!!!!!!! I DRANK TO SELF MEDICATE AND SHE FUCKING WROTE THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT!! WHY DIDN'T SHE WRITE PTSD OR ANXIETY DISORDER WHY ONLY FUCKING ADDICTION? FUCK HER I CAN'T WAIT TO TALK TO HER TO TELL HER TO FUCK OFF AND NEVER SEE HER AGAIN VERY FUCKING PROFESSIONAL!!!!!
",3.8320108695652206,7.140335375000002,5.560543478260874,67.58663043478262,85.875,9.282608695652174,33.20652173913044,9.20300075937882,4.589005434782608,740,42,110,26,23,250,86,160,0.32299999999999995,0.6609999999999999,0.016,-0.9959,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,3,15,12,2,5,0,15,18,1,1,4,20,33,10,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,9,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,14,0,1,10,1,25,1,17,23,1,7,0,0,1,11,19,4,12,1,3,85,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497090783220546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329886586701925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888177229983715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286749811652612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911193162058669,0.0,0.0,0.3573241693682265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7926418235225176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783056325121471,0.0,0.0,0.07852078912318987,0.0785496287737423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060115531215438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784069977359934,0.0,0.09145096666658738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111283981613036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803594816164391,0.0,0.062111600280006514,0.0,0.08131301475563303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945450639501159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264876125712655,0.2043805397875383,0.0,0.0,0.09049946321362863,0.10356560017166452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731894115186189,0.0,0.06431229814971083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066540631634186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UltraviolenceG,2018/03/08,"My life feels like a joke 
I don't know why I am like this, why my life has to hold no sense, I don't know why I had to be such a freak among normal people. I think my whole self can be described as neurotic and I dont know why since I had a ordinary upbringing and. Nice parents. I am almost 20 and I cant make sense of this abstract and unexplainable mess of anxiety low self esteem and ocd I hav since early teens. I am ashamed and disgusted by myself because I fear I messed up my sense of self and personality throught withholding some experiences and trying everyday a new personality on me. I wish I could share ordinary pains and joys like a break up, the loss of someone or how I overcame my insecurity like any sane person instead I'm always left feeling so estranged by my inner life of mental restlessness and emotional and existential turbulence. I question every fucking imaginable perception and concern I have onto myself every minute and can't get no peace, I question if I really love my beloved ones and tastes and why and freak out if I find I do for wrong motives, if I consider that externally I might be a different version and internally just a bunch of messy self centered thoughts who can't focus on normal and sane parts of her life. I'm so contradictory and volatile and abstract I hate that I fear I'm too mentally fragile and if ever a serious life tragedy happens my already ruined sense of self will crash awfuy. I feel a joke, I fear I perceive things weirdly, that every aspect of me and my life is distorted and unable toto connect to others oh god why am I like this?",7.035294117647059,6.603607535031848,7.81034469838891,71.96442300487075,64.4140127388535,10.955114275009368,36.304983139752714,10.46071229359064,3.773346047208692,1282,56,238,28,17,431,167,314,0.232,0.648,0.12,-0.9883,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,8,31,3,6,10,0,23,10,0,3,1,57,41,32,0,8,6,1,4,5,0,2,7,0,0,8,9,24,1,2,15,2,0,0,8,20,0,1,3,5,44,11,23,32,5,16,0,3,0,2,15,11,1,10,9,152,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009824754513231,0.0,0.08827075249019838,0.0,0.06655793586449775,0.0,0.0,0.05439581874825088,0.0,0.061191991311346124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876105020226276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386536030279429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357233413914868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937474701710282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997777815478719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235536927331349,0.20218461308481345,0.0,0.0,0.07824539018573487,0.0,0.2700323489484695,0.12133576519280186,0.05714474147921478,0.0,0.0,0.0731092438967025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739492971775886,0.04179137809399736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073473128946686,0.0,0.0,0.07897338426473427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318809350610018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690917056991941,0.0,0.3389950413366245,0.1953949215146154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219393314617477,0.0,0.05339382419509395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122184411418686,0.08485655549508828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725466401992842,0.0,0.0,0.15674607506303115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420317037170213,0.0,0.08511480533452792,0.0,0.08881922598199046,0.08662117721144333,0.0,0.055454867675407686,0.20953206940953426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921380386584615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051243525234291834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41723412300102064,0.0,0.0,0.13233680696528238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777511264212709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053141680320868086,0.05125424509416144,0.0,0.06350298000621013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054307835293702984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330702110900295,0.08930577444154142,0.09198434230510716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745630823225069,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EmbarrassedArmadillo,2018/03/08,"I think about revenge situations... a lot So when I am alone I find my brain naturally goes to thinking about imaginary situations where I can yell at someone or come out ""on top"" with people in my life. These people I'm not even really mad at. What does that mean? Does anyone else do that. ",1.3987969924812025,3.98191910526316,3.31904761904762,85.77000000000002,86.01754385964912,6.76591478696742,20.423558897243108,7.957251820313856,1.1377137844611531,227,7,46,5,7,76,46,57,0.099,0.82,0.081,-0.2544,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,10,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,9,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,1,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188536392270392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979979034694946,0.2195115615455394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391598212950521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454657363045315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374961232477508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896788005597836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150180012580285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19580912719695906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132223056500846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821369993787311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333673640441985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970505139866233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724598170922406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4816236886752877,0.0,0.0,0.18152267681609907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745493856072949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aras0443,2018/03/08,"Relapse Vent (mentions of self harm) I’m relatively new to reddit and this is my first time ever posting so bear with me. I’m a 20 y/o female who struggles with depression, anxiety, and used to self harm. I’m back home from college on spring break and I relapsed tonight for the first time in a long time. I’m just wondering if this is normal? I feel like I’m too old for this shit and that cutting myself is something I should’ve grown out of by now. I feel pathetic but at the same time it felt so good. I wanted to keep going but I stopped because I don’t want anyone to see. I’ve mostly gotten over my depression, except for occasional episodes. I’m a functional human being and I’m usually upbeat and excited about life. However I’ve been feeling really depressed for the past week and been constantly crying and just feeling down. But i never thought I’d get back to the point of cutting myself. Idek know why I’m posting this I just feel like I’m losing control. I feel really alone in this. If anyone has advice or kind words I’m open to it. ",1.977013796172674,4.1557527850467295,3.768397863818425,86.19540498442369,79.56074766355141,6.693012906097019,24.676457498887405,7.793537801064563,1.4523055629728523,832,31,165,14,21,279,124,214,0.172,0.727,0.102,-0.9286,1,1,1,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,4,11,15,3,1,7,0,8,2,1,2,2,44,36,16,0,5,10,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,9,12,0,3,10,0,0,2,2,10,0,2,5,8,15,5,26,30,2,35,0,4,1,0,5,9,1,5,23,94,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464699917258528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121511585897631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975202549662194,0.0,0.0,0.1640703989699065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042879600695846,0.0,0.07151921235457627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678483868759374,0.13158808959024032,0.0,0.0,0.12887416774079685,0.0,0.0,0.3031512338527365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612566789654078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559332016448777,0.16763161924718634,0.1126487945192021,0.0,0.0,0.1995903272913931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129659701948512,0.0,0.0666775515430767,0.09840524193143874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768486486746105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428236542647576,0.0,0.12217419287112315,0.06447783330495327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286893688006654,0.11463650456126605,0.0,0.0,0.10382745414538146,0.0,0.13125479491749806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048698401780997,0.11331160216000245,0.0,0.0,0.11495195224137175,0.0,0.0,0.1231110977945606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119983928666368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090846808173052,0.0,0.2247266358858385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032065748486834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349150324757058,0.0,0.24478763866411274,0.0,0.12043071115604112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032123050276268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808755636901004,0.0,0.1226518170141534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314161802039687,0.2736487063326101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132968683706968,0.12921507149160788,0.0,0.13840067828068414,0.0,0.0941096976264553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586605587489888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272321455368663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thesheheis,2018/03/08,"This isn't too crucial, if you agree please give a helping hand to not just me, but a hand up to the mental disorder subreddit I titled my premeditated notes that i planned to share from this specific subreddit: mental health, but made the monuMental decision to NOT title the premeditated notes meant for the subreddit already titled: Mental Disorder. 

If you relate please vibe with me. Titles cause separation so lets relate. ",12.989414414414412,10.57144541891892,12.208378378378384,51.46860360360361,54.270270270270274,15.812612612612615,44.93693693693694,14.06817628641468,6.501023423423423,347,15,51,11,3,114,49,74,0.084,0.7120000000000001,0.204,0.7935,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,0,2,3,2,2,0,12,5,5,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,7,1,8,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21672108585150984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20174647666168305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45015957092297865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839504182020808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875322967594045,0.0,0.0,0.13163597845570982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082193007007892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582882700754136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5937443400058677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311541667069212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omorii,2018/03/08,"flashbacks to a stupid event. hello! I have been diagnosed with ptsd from things irrelevant to this, but lately, I have only been getting flashbacks to one thing, I'll just start to break down anytime I think about it and want to kill myself. 
long story short, my mom was drunk and we had a fight, she hit me (just once) and told me how terrible I was, said my full birth name (I'm transgender) and said that it's what I'll always be, how I'm a disappointment, a monster, selfish, etc. all because I wouldn't change my name and gender on my Facebook account 
obviously, this was settled and instantly when she started yelling (it started through text then she went into my room) I did it, although she didn't stop. 
I don't know why, I've had so many traumatic things happen but this has happened over 3 months or so ago and I still get so upset just thinking about it. if anything similar happens or she snaps at me, I'll instantly break down and think about what happened. it wasn't abuse, she's done things like this before but not nearly as bad as what she did this time. 
she's drunk right now and I heard her call my brother a jackass and all these things because he asked her and her boyfriend to be quieter (this only happens when her boyfriend is around as well)
I don't know why I get so upset over it. it's so stupid for me. people have it so much worse I shouldn't be like this. 
what's wrong with me?",3.1195468462951648,4.742743422535213,3.5601592161665643,91.53082976117577,74.28169014084506,6.347581139007961,25.37599510104103,6.8959733430537185,0.8433241273729326,1108,37,236,10,23,345,146,284,0.203,0.736,0.06,-0.9941,0,0,0,0,4,1,35.0,1,0,0,0,20,14,4,2,5,0,24,3,0,2,3,42,50,32,1,4,10,2,0,2,0,2,1,4,1,0,27,16,2,1,5,2,1,1,7,11,1,1,17,4,37,3,26,27,5,32,0,1,0,0,26,13,0,3,18,161,64,0,0.0,0.12921526362258878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667286317478396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074454785756876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974500195672717,0.09708426598102084,0.10195400873551633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105842850980106,0.1329608376880194,0.0,0.09279987083218133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135986581539273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536833818602682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069103202405094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160365133445556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162790227283815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093407391141804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821957836671058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065592756761985,0.0,0.11987026207771855,0.0,0.12302157149640795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655993805220576,0.0,0.0,0.09651242528890216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056715295390064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772678573206878,0.08704862863723152,0.0,0.08016978558796814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614264169905035,0.07390016117447684,0.1658862339352154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560671508730463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748234132694428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313447981124573,0.20747724754094068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23157430657297906,0.0,0.08709343296768837,0.09117692457892328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36226467140794216,0.20963886138173832,0.0,0.0,0.06359228525518452,0.0,0.0,0.10420908201269954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432491883984083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805575892183864,0.10109736328578273,0.19681479994588535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113887456834046,0.0,0.11923721859380775,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peaches39wagner,2018/03/08,"I got the nicest complement today from a religious person about my suicidal past. In-between classes at my college. I was talking with the religous professor about tattoos. He said, ""You always start small and get larger as you get more."" I replied, ""Yeah, my first tattoo was a semicolon on my hip and now I have a big water color piece on my leg."" I got the tattoo over the spot where I use to do self-harm. I got it because of the persona around it that it represents when someone could of killed themselves but choose to go on. I was suicidal for a long time but I am still here. He asked, ""did you get that tattoo for yourself."" I responded, ""yes"". He replied, ""God bless you."" It made my day. I have never meet a religious person who was supportive over people who are or were suicidal. It made me glad that I have stuck around and that people and God want to hear my story and are happy I am here.",2.9464232209737844,4.7297968258426994,3.9537303370786496,87.85213108614231,75.12359550561797,6.993857677902622,25.3498127340824,7.793537801064563,1.3546684644194755,697,24,141,10,15,225,103,178,0.108,0.764,0.128,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,0,1,10,5,1,0,10,2,15,3,2,3,1,18,32,10,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,11,8,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,13,3,25,4,20,18,2,23,1,0,1,0,17,11,0,1,11,99,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191412504781047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549297147611055,0.13385848933944391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728414456167065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432143725431075,0.0,0.0,0.09234237122057476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217929449085886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442449486979849,0.0,0.08137523969154503,0.0,0.3435539708753742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242291611930814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613797119615105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841280195218765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267140705096961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27096990010636124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043296946285144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668612379538878,0.198532667641518,0.25004694472035943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620156417871884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493730071728151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213200434568248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134696102076797,0.0,0.1143475917527084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698628989360157,0.16248445047706428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508654417441165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349222697053851,0.0,0.1357224785233318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366572202203058,0.0,0.0,0.08445412367374554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BOellig101,2018/03/08,"Pregnant and horribly depressed So I’m pregnant with my second baby. I lost my first that I had with another man. I thought I’d be thrilled. But now the father and I are going through some tough times and it’s starting to feel like too much and I find myself Googling shit about suicide while pregnant. I feel like I’d never do that because I love my baby but...at times, I hate this life. And I had a mom who cried almost every night. What if I’m damning them to the same fate?...Help please. ",1.1615031503150313,3.4483287326732714,2.2443744374437458,95.32535553555357,83.45544554455445,4.4648064806480665,23.043204320432054,5.565023196281405,0.18633861386138628,386,14,82,2,11,122,69,101,0.244,0.627,0.129,-0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,2,4,10,3,0,3,0,5,3,1,0,1,17,15,9,1,1,2,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,6,0,2,4,2,14,4,6,10,3,9,0,2,0,1,6,0,2,3,10,51,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315197753871092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127341897020487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367191641580474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228508225451172,0.0,0.0,0.1747376349192729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709325952187041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051613811833713,0.28987069238686203,0.0,0.0,0.18542587296440347,0.17256704500468995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529965599122335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002990037611663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598415492239674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329800200382686,0.19823087732025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146417569196286,0.0,0.18310438410876564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376070524793204,0.0,0.0,0.14913791451242586,0.0,0.15647122438496489,0.0,0.0,0.1903862908341869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226979876198418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20825029182571572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435973618725277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191447429510264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106165070083125,0.2365983826071469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VaultHunter666,2018/03/08,"Very real Mental Health Awareness page. If you're reading this then, like me, you have suffered with mental health. It may be you yourself who suffers with it or someone you really love and care about suffers with it. My partner of almost 5 years, Grace, has Borderline Personality Disorder, Chronic depression, Severe Anxiety and a few under undiagnosed issues. An she is my inspiration. In one way or another every single day is a struggle for her. No matter if it's a stranger buzzing on our flat, or the fact that our supermarket doesn't have what she was planning to make for dinner in stock, things of all nature in all different ways each effecting her in a way that is sometimes crippling. But she does it. Sure I'm there to help a little but she finds all different ways of coping and picking herself back up when all she wants to do is crawl into bed and cry until she passes out from exhaustion. I feel like the perseption of Mental health is stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment. It is either a complete stigma, that people just cannot wrap their minds around. Or somehow romanticized to be something it's not. Grace started a very honest, very real Mental health awareness page on Instagram recently, Neither of us have ever been big on the whole social media thing and it's only just starting out so if you want to check it out, please feel free.
I know that if just one person saw it an realised they weren't alone, it would all be worth it. 

https://www.instagram.com/anxious_grace_from_outer_space/",7.4514318610006285,8.146644291814948,6.93974460958761,74.74875026167051,63.37722419928826,9.174042285953528,32.187774754029725,9.007467420416297,2.738610885492987,1230,44,208,18,17,383,172,281,0.094,0.765,0.141,0.9373,2,1,1,0,0,0,34.0,3,4,2,2,11,17,0,1,15,0,21,8,0,3,8,56,34,20,0,7,15,0,3,2,1,2,6,0,1,3,21,15,1,0,6,2,3,1,6,6,0,2,5,4,23,12,34,24,13,34,0,4,1,1,25,18,0,11,13,155,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609976790130167,0.09939564158046306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063257322288567,0.07341653959564312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543335855135469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379475712633164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784748090714007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062237957317348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541818289275126,0.0618925017616134,0.0,0.08265854146639907,0.0,0.0,0.20053577100340167,0.1099895633228525,0.0,0.0839837103516352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681006647068604,0.08085859131818934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970503036834852,0.06856075583723753,0.0,0.0,0.08771454538944819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596997949004916,0.0,0.0,0.4080451121314996,0.0,0.0,0.06432645098818612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001674082252241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05274242420359133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377187233000196,0.09618682766895348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661637965699923,0.0,0.06406050406558815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868594451149076,0.0,0.09690201506041707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006307258595795,0.07298926329263132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665332897527037,0.1675940390313768,0.10026788550170086,0.10534588529061062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599564693536458,0.2184690038531522,0.061480632003654986,0.0,0.09475847735781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841841739890762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978289991172056,0.08131479519228015,0.07388214537601566,0.0949164636783442,0.0,0.13585566150405387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032834279195273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045028404333444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275159769717321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543970400761555,0.0,0.0,0.2375551008133328,0.11321080299675405,0.3047050477175809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714671617805807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817410445235138,0.0,0.0,0.0618013249692259
mentalhealth,AnimatedPie,2018/03/08,"I'm not sure if this is OCD, Anxiety, something else, or nothing? So I'm 18 and I'm taking online college classes full time. I have just put in my two week notice from my first job and my last day is Friday. I'm a big believer of going all out for the things that I want to do. I have a lot of dreams and I plan to go big and achieve a lot of things. I want to be a Graphic Designer, Computer Programmer, Book Author, and other things that are a little less professional, but a Comedy YouTube Channel and a Twitch Streamer as well. Now I do work little by little on all of these things at once and maybe that causes stress, but my problem is that I am WAY TOO ORGANIZED.

So I used to keep track of everything like exactly what I did at every minute of the day. I kept this stuff on Excel spreadsheets and it got too much that I did manage to quit, but there's one thing that I haven't quit yet. I make lists. i make schedules. This sounds harmless, I know, but it is getting so annoying that just saying the word, ""list"" or ""schedule"" honestly makes me sick and just so dead tired. Since I have all of these goals, I tend to keep busy, but I try to get a lot of it done at once. I will make a daily to-do list, then I will get annoyed with it after maybe an hour, or even 10 minutes after I make it, then i will make another one. I repeat this on a daily basis. I try telling myself, I want to do things that I want to do and no schedule or list is gonna help me do that. I try and get the pros and cons of keeping a schedule or list and it just doesn't work. I keep making a list or schedule, cancelling it, then redoing it over and over. It's keeping me from enjoying anything that I do. It's keeping me from getting a lot of stuff done. You probably won't believe me, but I've spent over 2 hours today making a list, and keep in mind that I worked 6 hours today. That is 2 hours that I could use to achieve something, instead I'm wasting time making lists, and it's such a problem I'm posting it to reddit. I'm not sure if the problem is that I am in a way being lazy and just procrastinating, or if I am dealing with something like OCD or Anxiety. It's too the point that when I play video games, something for fun, I get so frustrated and I have no fun playing it anymore. I don't know what it is, but I've posted something like this to other subreddits to try and get advice and none of it has worked. I'm hoping this does. Thanks.",3.15751178918169,3.698389172815535,4.537697642163664,88.73728155339808,72.80582524271844,7.439112343966713,26.36477115117892,7.447530270364453,1.1492091539528433,1884,60,425,20,35,628,209,515,0.125,0.7559999999999999,0.119,-0.802,1,0,5,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,0,12,21,23,3,1,23,0,37,3,0,12,6,91,86,48,1,12,25,0,0,3,0,5,3,2,0,0,51,23,0,8,2,7,1,3,9,7,1,4,7,2,48,16,48,71,11,54,0,0,0,0,6,20,0,16,30,288,99,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945237704000606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379629495012773,0.09308523203292628,0.0,0.06033716845023016,0.0,0.0,0.05006633245912895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709222945982247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249968427673056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04857597992198162,0.0,0.0,0.07847384144376075,0.06272361453025486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053241702810601886,0.12452137477377867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082421251725225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040184403809879726,0.0,0.05126052505446528,0.0,0.05467928346950603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175067588905359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225055951311992,0.0,0.06915381934203035,0.0,0.048659496685167725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04077992948911277,0.0,0.0,0.06042808472051647,0.2396615188275775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060374549026512785,0.3785431966725855,0.0,0.0,0.06687240807058796,0.049592914712946336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917040229023042,0.18293370720118307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068967808253377,0.0,0.0,0.3655019853932772,0.0,0.1222443943532793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061431297402719985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04472457575252666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837784982522023,0.06926701491409452,0.0,0.12958573703725404,0.08245384049194353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751369079794669,0.0,0.11653626160336375,0.0,0.06559606740707534,0.17464767511398632,0.0,0.061161243998737826,0.0,0.12942216548856816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04838259969818354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05032767409129808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341889403700846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969228778033171,0.0,0.1392950346383437,0.0,0.0,0.11468240976747875,0.0,0.04574428778035402,0.0,0.05317705019505513,0.05601351757650808,0.0,0.0,0.2425173067886608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095286480593087,0.06992690433186195,0.11533886469682827,0.0,0.0,0.16522611345654795,0.0,0.059432072698311286,0.0,0.0,0.10509286402018186,0.0,0.0,0.14354059621480916,0.09658429907147964,0.04880236959352431,0.0,0.05470268113738649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716967327344707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gaygarbage64,2018/03/08,"[HELP] Crisis Mode I’m recently openly gay and dating and I went on my first tonight. It went really well, but I started hearing voices on the date (still determining if I’m schizophrenic or struggling with dissociative identity disorder with professionals). I’m terrified. I haven’t heard voices this pronounced in years and they’ve come when my life is finally doing well. Please, any advice would mean the world. I feel that I cannot function. I’ve recently abandoned my religion and I’m very scared. Help.",2.94832298136646,6.028290478260875,3.9032919254658403,78.78239130434784,89.86956521739133,7.845962732919254,26.13664596273292,8.418075326091056,2.903851552795031,412,18,67,12,14,132,66,92,0.226,0.662,0.112,-0.9311,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,2,0,5,3,0,0,0,15,17,8,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,8,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,3,2,1,3,5,8,2,5,13,0,19,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,2,11,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659671723576188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985434841603646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448879780793788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884827751576796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655139611368946,0.0,0.0,0.20917929175853447,0.0,0.16242422450377955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215217511865445,0.0,0.2559830691598368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487550214341368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20800341292764726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960866506534925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232915567712925,0.0,0.37708540561984294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117691221033997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515726680201326,0.0,0.15249503104016596,0.0,0.0,0.1996251675404955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755593245236826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433787253741709,0.35403003480329026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564728215879066,0.0,0.0,0.12296724442851932
mentalhealth,HEJPADIGMONIKAMMMMM,2018/03/08,"Been asked to go to a triage Hello, I completed a self referral and sent it away to my mental health services. They responded saying that given the information provided, they would like to organise a triage. Could anybody please tell me what this means?",5.5470000000000015,8.22454008888889,5.579722222222222,75.09625000000003,70.33333333333333,9.833333333333336,29.027777777777786,10.125756701596842,3.4937777777777788,204,8,33,6,4,64,38,45,0.0,0.89,0.11,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,1,5,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,1,22,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747060733268947,0.0,0.2760777180899125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080916371073573,0.0,0.0,0.23461188961710974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669992891150318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123442497173991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355817156839895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200841228646162,0.0,0.0,0.2961273632204777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322554350228874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336779033178583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30654516171491536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25683410299830417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20873956209491853,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aquatot,2018/03/08,"I feel like I’m in a crisis mode. But I don’t know what to do... Okay first off: I am safe. 

 But I need help. I feel like no one is listening to me! For 2.5 years I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety and panic attacks, subsequently I have also been battling depression off and on. I take Zoloft 75mg, and Xanax as needed. I have have success with smoking small amounts of cannabis but unfortunately we currently live on federal property so I cannot have it in my home. Anyway, the past few months I feel like I am just falling deeper and deeper into a suicidal state because I am so damn sick of having anxiety and panic attacks. I get them multiple times a day. Sometimes they are so debilitating and intense that I convulse, vomit, and, sweat profusely. My husband does his best to help be but he’s not equipped to deal with this. My therapist says that suicidal thoughts are normal. I told my doctor that I had thoughts of suicide and she didn’t really say much other than “do you want to up your Zoloft?” But like... I don’t even think I’m depressed! I’m just so fucking fed up with the panic attacks. I need relief. It’s like my brain never shuts off. I feel like I am constantly operating at a level 9, and the second anything feels in my life changes, its full blown panic attack. And it’s always panic attacks due to hypochondria. I’m scared to death that I’m going to have a heart attack or a stroke or something really wild. 

Anyway.... I just don’t know what to do. I want to die. I need help and I feel like no one is listening to me. Does anyone have any words of advice? Because the suicidal thoughts are starting to scare the shit out of me. :( ",2.3472170087976565,4.4581101303030355,3.9016129032258062,86.05016129032259,78.0,6.803519061583577,25.49364613880743,7.831003766801068,1.5055376344086018,1293,49,258,21,31,429,171,330,0.305,0.5710000000000001,0.125,-0.9979,1,0,1,0,0,2,47.0,1,2,2,3,11,32,10,8,11,1,27,14,4,0,1,51,59,24,6,7,11,1,7,7,0,0,8,4,1,0,12,18,1,1,12,0,0,2,9,20,0,4,8,11,40,12,37,50,5,31,0,2,0,1,18,17,3,2,18,168,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823258693136422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583935875737765,0.05810033847064861,0.0,0.0,0.04748367628310431,0.0,0.10683250196100494,0.0,0.0,0.048823553347982974,0.0,0.05746036663182257,0.0,0.0,0.4766189359837114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512984917992042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327746464376715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794825524554437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386603003328909,0.0,0.0,0.07545646715364572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503161584730602,0.0719869363373828,0.1202810544046254,0.0,0.07246775625139029,0.0,0.0,0.07146927050836217,0.12220938156782847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611902774547806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118349655749237,0.24941645039288698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059393461912895525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455247056386308,0.03648089714439672,0.0,0.03968339219402271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274345239203268,0.14040751047086344,0.0,0.07004058397103714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674844344601484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931975525209352,0.2387921935857483,0.0,0.06165712027428422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573397968952589,0.0,0.051329713880895966,0.2070986404217547,0.053853664271297966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684140808817173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463101593743783,0.0,0.0,0.409625396014408,0.0,0.0,0.0666562590612772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946389703559493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105594441245806,0.13981484213551632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167478457757606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053755015451823686,0.0690591203828008,0.0,0.04942278778046213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299668396998203,0.0,0.3055106814075237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250002183236558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810726880408542,0.0,0.04474130619211071,0.0,0.16630073864221154,0.04071576072258858,0.0,0.0,0.06672117586785052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236967718562578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044965277629070835
mentalhealth,lofi91,2018/03/09,"Stopping Antipsychotics. Hi all, so I am a bit buggered mentally. At 18(I'm now 26) I was diagnosed Bipolar NOS(in the UK) and was given Carbamazepine(a mood stabilizer). Since then I have also been diagnosed with BPD. There is a family history of Mental Illness; Mum has Schizoaffective, cousin has Bipolar, great aunt had Bipolar, grandfather was undiagnosed but definitely had a psychotic disorder.

Whenever I have told the above during Mental Health Act assessments(been sectioned a couple of times) their answer is that I need more meds because it's in the family.

I have been 1 week clear of my AP Quetiapine which I was taking at between 400-600mg on the extended release. I feel no different. In the the past when I have gone cold turkey I have had Mania and Psychosis. However, this time around, doing it slowly I have been fine.

I swear they put me on hardcore meds at 18 unnecessarily. I have gotten worse from the drugs. Never again will I take an Antipsychotic or Mood Stabilizer willingly. I am off them now and you will have to drag me in, restrain me and shoot me up to make me take that shite again.",5.563503694581279,7.6458507290640405,6.1571397783251225,73.51679341133006,68.80295566502463,10.00110837438424,30.42149014778325,10.270032843473604,3.4970889162561587,890,36,151,25,16,289,134,203,0.102,0.84,0.058,-0.7717,2,0,1,1,0,1,31.0,0,1,3,0,9,4,0,0,12,0,28,8,0,1,3,17,38,10,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,14,2,25,2,19,21,4,27,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,12,110,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156117639612622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869704581696292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812791056761964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783188706320464,0.0,0.1820795739791017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996283061800784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934689504210928,0.0,0.15104381793237806,0.16568858008596266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765412337252733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725735428741604,0.0,0.07309842192494262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938781480293085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367006922655588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650091915596368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321167100091706,0.0,0.437074597471932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071960695195788,0.11150051255486078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380074531768321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453317587488551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958895717651655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086614366819645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260936515272551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685986738714549,0.0,0.0,0.13814185920665925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596451838495805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473281451719846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Veasum,2018/03/09,"Suddenly struggling to read (depressed about it) Hello guys,

My name is Oscar. I am 20 years old. I live in The Netherlands. My English is mediocre, so I'm really sorry for that, based on the fact it's my third language (Arabic is my first language and Dutch is my second language).

I've loved reading and writing ever since I was a child. In fact, I was ahead of almost everyone regarding reading and writing since my childhood. Reading books, writing (fantasy) stories, playing language related games; you name it. I loved almost everything regarding reading and writing. 3 months ago I suddenly developed a struggle regarding reading. I know most of you will probably say ''dyslexia'', but I never had this struggle before. In fact, I even made a list why it isn't dyslexia:

1. I was always classified as ''linguistic.''
2. I had the highest reading level at school since I was 5 years old.
3. I never received ''extra/special support'' regarding language at school.
4. I was tested twice for dyslexia. The first test was unofficial (first year at middle school, the whole class was screened, the result was negative in my case, so no dyslexia. The second was official, based on the fact I was tested individually, even though they didn't suspect dyslexia. I was tested, because I was temporarily in a special ed class due a misunderstanding. Back then I was misdiagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), so they just randomly tested me for possible learning disabilities. The test was negative, so no dyslexia).
5. Out of boredom I did online dyslexia tests as well (negative).
6. I can read random words very quickly without any mistake (especially Arabic and Dutch words).
7. My reading speed is 289 words per minute (I think that's classified as ''above average'' or at least ''average'').
8. I'm very good at language based games.

Not to mention, lately I suffer from concentration problems (possibly ADD), anxiety related to school and too much stress about life. I also tested my vision 2 weeks ago and according to a specialist I need glasses (I still don't have glasses, because I don't have enough money to buy one and my assurance can't manage it). I always suspected that my eyes are bad, but I don't know if this is the cause of my personal struggle. Even though dyslexia is out of the picture, I read the symptoms online and didn't recognize any symptoms. Suddenly after reading the symptoms, I experienced few symptoms (out of nowhere). Could this possibly be the fabrication of the so called ''nocebo effect''? If it's the nocebo effect, then is it possible that it's very strong, because of my concentration problems, anxiety and stress?

I'm so depressed about this, reading used to be one of my things. I always read when I was looking for comfort in life. Now it's making my life a hell for crying out loud. Adult life sucks...

",4.335792563600784,7.09035469080235,5.2991268101761255,75.27344168297458,74.4990215264188,8.080172211350293,32.92058708414873,8.898690921373891,3.43754133855186,2241,116,355,51,50,732,230,511,0.152,0.782,0.066,-0.994,1,0,0,0,0,0,95.0,0,2,2,8,24,25,2,6,23,0,42,11,1,7,8,64,57,30,0,7,8,0,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,4,18,16,0,0,8,18,2,1,16,15,1,9,21,6,52,10,48,32,6,51,1,3,3,2,23,19,2,8,31,244,70,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396502636556857,0.0,0.10614642435864984,0.0,0.0,0.0423851733705353,0.13230414749201566,0.0,0.0,0.07208549296830315,0.0,0.08109180008495316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040754778999154063,0.04425392687636106,0.0969274226135804,0.0,0.04510025886841517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412032075894363,0.0,0.0,0.054447002946166466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042317278119591316,0.0,0.058219511976054274,0.0,0.0,0.0912999980225822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074415744417189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476457940313148,0.0,0.1050207074457681,0.047942770078611335,0.0,0.05064507669102089,0.04763421035819356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524880494379365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044455031303533225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247968536286434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825632947384569,0.0,0.05978784960725605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497457294261038,0.0,0.0,0.046801177350701606,0.0,0.044507798840543886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567160454460613,0.05015117418149143,0.03537882347519609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230518480763061,0.0,0.03896210254410022,0.03929984143092645,0.08175584202875484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123203599423366,0.0,0.07183019479442454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627874857428165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390043069822393,0.0,0.0,0.0571444370751755,0.10143029885152743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6892042180915721,0.0,0.03395403234064188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04214881369074325,0.0,0.21456084865357647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152983336954968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933069013210965,0.0,0.0,0.0423269594812795,0.0,0.12142577173029195,0.22163414296967215,0.0,0.0,0.06014532222553577,0.0,0.22035485321005244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035211752587297244,0.033961135334962346,0.10414714630220137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577616305702111,0.0,0.13119503350617526,0.0,0.0,0.04251449894168203,0.0,0.047654593387432234,0.0,0.04782548912566267,0.05917413253147887,0.0,0.05109142562158407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239342626999344
mentalhealth,MischaSoup,2018/03/09,"Are thoughts like this normal? I keep getting these weird thoughts that I can't quite understand. I was having a conversation with my friend and I knew that I had something related to the topic that I wanted to say, but I couldn't think of it. It was as if the whole thought was on the tip of my tongue. I could feel the thought, but I couldn't think of what exactly it was that I was thinking. This has been happening more frequently and I'm not sure if its something I should be worried about. Does this seem like something I should seek help for?",3.307020202020201,5.030556590909093,3.4439393939393947,92.14035353535354,74.0,7.070707070707071,26.767676767676768,7.793537801064563,1.316191919191919,435,16,94,6,9,133,66,110,0.064,0.83,0.106,0.6616,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,5,0,17,0,0,0,2,29,33,7,0,9,5,0,1,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,13,3,0,1,11,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,12,2,14,4,10,15,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,68,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947725313805984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287404335111013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832946454989914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349665148546604,0.0,0.09126929831396888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447945451083522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170922862995366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527417151672865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706912592414699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711609539687133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185806319980755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892199635333005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903292859710724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40345903679877576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464503159084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33580651311626925,0.0,0.5547433648133537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186041022229893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303779823894617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503724788237606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740808613154174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acymay,2018/03/09,"Borderline personality disorder? I am a 17 year old girl and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, mainly social, for about 4 years. I’ve been put on many medications, none which seem to do much. Recently in psychology class, we talked about borderline personality disorder. 
I’m not one to go on google and self diagnose myself, but I noticed my problems are very consistent with BPD’s symptoms. I have become very socially isolated, yet being alone for too long will start to take a very bad tole on my mental health. One of my biggest fears I have is abandonment because I can’t stand being alone. I have mood swings that are unlike bipolar disorders because they only last minutes-hours. I’m very easy to irritate and I have impulsive thoughts that have caused me to steal, do drugs, and self harm. 
I want to mention something to my psychiatrist but I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to self diagnose. Any feedback would be helpful, thanks. 
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mentalhealth,gimmeaHELLgimmieaYA,2018/03/09,"Scared Hey everyone. 
Real quick I just wanted to say I'm having a sharp pain under my ribs in the upper left part of my abdomen (very tender to touch) And some chest pain. My workouts have been lacking cuz of fatigue and my throat is sore. The pain is always there and even when I bend over. I've had this for about a month. The doc is doing a procedure to check for ulcers. But I'm scared of a few things. 
1. They won't find anything. 
2. He will find something serious.
3. I start the police academy in a week and whatever is wrong won't be fixed. 
4. That nobody else has these symptoms. 
5. I just don't feel myself and am worried. ",-0.5733969465648876,1.6305054580152678,1.4667900763358794,96.21270419847332,97.47328244274807,4.146717557251908,16.473664122137404,5.985473137389443,-0.4001453435114506,489,13,106,5,20,161,93,131,0.202,0.7979999999999999,0.0,-0.9744,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,2,9,0,16,12,4,1,0,16,21,8,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,3,8,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,8,0,0,2,4,10,1,13,15,4,12,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,5,69,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563009356137088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402598657648713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620618268266206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155986092736174,0.0,0.0,0.16723845918846816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884950262146655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31992897287420136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19015900173354952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396987503064815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5586986842362485,0.0,0.0,0.18952886651082695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992103011457808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918238689352094,0.3504497405251732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473842211085882,0.0,0.0,0.1238795745083054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819120857017276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162750583625672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444092673318839,0.10323092869091063,0.0,0.14038994035993307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774061365486166,0.0,0.0,0.1913561498710529,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ConcernedDude28,2018/03/09,"Have A Medical Question Okay so I’m not 100% sure if this is the right place to ask this, but here goes nothing. So I recently pulled back my foreskin for the first time, and now it won’t fully cover the head of my penis. It used to fully cover it, but now only goes about 3/4 of the way up. I can pull it up, but then it just goes right back down. It’s really sensitive and idk what to do. Is this normal, or is this bad? Honestly I’m very confused and any help would be appreciated.",1.3488241639697949,2.9069523398058266,3.537411003236248,90.08490830636462,79.0,6.907874865156419,20.182308522114347,7.793537801064563,0.5687052858683925,373,9,86,6,9,128,69,103,0.11,0.772,0.118,0.2255,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,5,1,9,2,1,1,1,16,13,11,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,4,3,10,10,0,17,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,4,8,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500576375937466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20628906015407386,0.0,0.0,0.33935071290737423,0.18424344338556775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769487286590955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264627383271802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790499929603446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22229361799791789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620178046136,0.21173101438560274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782329461790688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23054468739877398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24719179388363066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136164351567246,0.0,0.21787697458195165,0.0,0.0,0.3768880605379787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20797119990674506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286697102060285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058100606908893,0.0,0.182069151330496,0.0,0.17515112047936468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567518604886916,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,metalhealthmetal,2018/03/09,"New GP Recommended Me Antidepressants, Have Never Taken Any-- help~  i had my annual physical yesterday with a new physician i am trying out and over the course of the 30 minutes (which was a record for a doctor's appointment for me! in my adult life anyways. also i have only had two annual physicals so far in my adult life but it is the 2nd one in a row now so GO ME YAY RESPONSIBILITY) the question of trying antidepressants for my anxiety came out? 

i've never tried daily medication before, was prescribed a strong anti-anxiety pill for ""take as needed"" after my first annual physical, when i was struggling with very bad anxiety. these were clearly more for panic attacks, which i've never had. i'm asian and a child of immigrants and therefore not diagnosed for anything because pull yourself up by your bootstraps etc etc, and a resistance towards taking any sort of medication was sort of bred into me. which is why i'm 26 now and am just now taking steps to take control of how debilitating my conditions-- whatever they may be-- make me. 

i am very very scared of starting medication like prozac/zoloft, even at the very light dosage as my GP suggested. frankly, ever since the conversation, i've been making myself anxious just thinking about it and moreso writing about it now. the possible side effects don't seem worth it, somehow-- especially weight gain, which would make my quality of life miserable, as i've struggled with disordered eating for years and finally have somewhat of a handle on it now in the past two years. 

but i do know that i've been improving, overall, making friends and having people to talk to, and feeling better mentally, for those same two years-- and i'm only considering these sort of 'last resort' options for me now that i feel good enough to...deserve them, i guess? i just know talk therapy has helped only to a very certain point, and there's something missing there that's preventing me from crossing this invisible barrier to finding motivation in my own happiness. i think it *might* be medicine. but i don't want to go through months of trying different prescriptions, possibly getting misdiagnosed, feeling periods of serious depression as can happen while your body is in flux like that.... i've been trying to do a lot of reading, and considering all the possibilities-- i feel like i have a lot of the symptoms of ADHD as well which could actually be a main source of my anxiety, but didn't know how to bring that up to my doctor, fearing that she would think i was just trying to score. what if something like adderall would be best for me? what if it wasn't and it just made my anxiety 1000x worse? but what if prozac was worse????

does anyone have personal anecdotes of when they were first starting out trying to find treatment? am i just blathering and possibly talking into space, just to have it out there? is my heart beating really fast or is someone outside just knocking on the door?",7.060708482287942,7.945052802946595,7.284569927418484,71.2812065323367,64.24861878453041,10.587130321741956,35.307604809879756,10.525883462305444,3.931691192720181,2364,105,399,57,34,766,268,543,0.116,0.7609999999999999,0.123,0.8322,1,0,2,0,0,0,74.0,0,2,3,10,31,24,1,6,23,1,48,17,2,11,7,95,84,36,0,9,18,0,5,4,1,5,13,0,1,4,27,24,2,3,16,1,1,7,8,11,1,6,19,6,43,13,72,55,12,63,0,3,0,0,20,23,0,17,37,288,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.06227086525171732,0.0,0.07668907940797545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051030071332214585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678808072889818,0.0,0.2440782951751191,0.07208888522956278,0.0,0.04461851757405033,0.0,0.05251146634289918,0.0,0.0,0.07259484720330156,0.0,0.0,0.05327997659675004,0.03889892696500606,0.0,0.054298926821341534,0.0,0.06696628204601683,0.056436128008496775,0.0,0.07088024378181683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298341053659459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157007631821198,0.05094832813705289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496079219723361,0.06476737730079267,0.0,0.06666948534719973,0.07313356159458873,0.13062764520451087,0.055841915072566584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529514347207117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593438627676503,0.14233348615084232,0.04214692517960164,0.057721197825186615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718057313939758,0.12906014257690998,0.04558698215099099,0.0,0.0699024309982655,0.11664519640197064,0.1085561390936204,0.0,0.0,0.04930064316310576,0.0,0.033338899746870494,0.0,0.07253114575201572,0.053522098368297466,0.0,0.0,0.07029561354339438,0.0,0.05642834054855154,0.06792857868623564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561699080724586,0.08554307014924509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520747276227772,0.0520149278743566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352159489977581,0.12470039508669005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850059120700498,0.0,0.06038002896680154,0.17037881334647315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285026180959408,0.06430703105601204,0.06769396764453296,0.0,0.0,0.050933768268048636,0.0,0.0,0.0473154537798596,0.14764619743608956,0.1232591800608029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04324035591552495,0.14559467157134098,0.0,0.07486910180658228,0.0,0.0,0.0609153423379193,0.04423889228414645,0.05571778178812226,0.0,0.0,0.060322537926214864,0.28775172693970164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148353694989705,0.0,0.06382881562455693,0.0,0.0408793111971502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388649087535463,0.0,0.0,0.05809163608019869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278557134815097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054067316962521435,0.09825049334430017,0.0,0.0,0.09033228324960542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341936844900276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632463066392452,0.19191336853913796,0.15386791377667694,0.0,0.0,0.07297406558460212,0.0,0.0,0.12266358876362675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032669634817483,0.0,0.1870038286347692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26325604709792466,0.03763770390574745,0.0,0.0,0.07770527369703782,0.0573742444936857,0.0,0.0575799961992652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005883657113546,0.13598967710655682,0.0,0.0,0.12327763297861034
mentalhealth,Kitizen,2018/03/09,"Urgent: Please help! College wants an explanation immediately. I recieved an e-mail from my top-choice university that requires an immediate response. They want to know why I failed all of my classes last semester. The problem is that I don't know. I was at a low last semester, and I stopped going to school for the last three weeks. 

 

**Background:** I was an honors (IB) student who failed a lot of my classes my junior/senior year in high school, so I ended up going to community college. I did very well my first year with a 3.8 GPA average, even getting on the dean's list for three semesters. Then my grades started dropping. I got B's and C's and D's and F's. Last semester, I did the worst. I was only taking three classes, but I failed two and got an incomplete in one. They want an explanation, and I don't have one other than I skipped school because of some vague emotional problems. I feel like I'm just making some sorry excuses. 

I've been dealing with emotional problems and trouble handling stress for the last eight years, but I've never talked to a professional about it. I've just been dealing with it by myself because I felt like I don't have it as bad as other people. I still think that. I don't even know what's wrong with me, if anything. I never really considered it a serious problem despite failing classes, losing friends, and contemplating suicide. The problem is that it impacts me in waves, at intervals. For example, right now, I don't feel sad or low at all despite being a bit worried about this situation. Right now, I feel like such a faker. I know I didn't feel like that last winter, but I don't really remember how I felt.

 

Anyway, I don't know if what I wrote is an adequate or appropriate response.
>I recieved F grades and an incomplete in the Fall 2017 semester due to personal issues that significantly impacted my final three weeks of the semester. I stubbornly thought I could handle it on my own for the past couple of years. I have since sought professional help, and I am currently in the process of taking care of the issue. As for the incomplete grade, I needed to complete one assignment for the history course, so my professor suggested I take an incomplete grade.

 

I haven't actually recieved any help, but I don't want to get denied because of this. 

Please help me.

EDIT:
I've edited it a little, but my head's not here and my grammar feels off.
>I recieved F grades and an incomplete in the Fall 2017 semester due to personal issues that impacted my final three weeks of the semester. I stubbornly thought I could handle it on my own until I realized that it had severely impairing my academic performance. I have since sought professional help, and I am currently in the process of taking care of the issue.",4.737135179826378,6.49710699811676,5.927642276422766,75.63188507647789,70.35593220338984,9.549602682467503,32.3485829773552,9.923748647568349,3.4873553901979712,2220,103,395,58,41,741,220,531,0.135,0.731,0.134,-0.7003,2,0,0,0,0,1,82.0,0,0,2,9,16,30,2,1,35,0,30,1,1,2,4,77,66,30,1,14,12,0,7,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,24,17,0,4,17,0,0,4,13,21,1,11,16,7,61,9,54,47,9,58,0,8,0,0,17,21,0,12,36,263,85,30,0.0,0.0,0.06353983156134875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21164618153576648,0.0,0.0442783315179232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358155395753445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436572504437359,0.1190748477935528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108534177943553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277186325890822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826859872945623,0.0,0.0,0.10397312370961118,0.07204508986155286,0.0,0.0,0.13425504011535155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648426963926986,0.05766982593706488,0.0,0.0,0.08601160481439761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461269020977592,0.1395478843383004,0.12503528883958598,0.14265382931180975,0.0,0.055384157302750515,0.0,0.0,0.050305300075519824,0.0,0.0680365710607634,0.0,0.07400919780711764,0.0,0.10415188487437868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682360434898285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821570354579967,0.06879430770654181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718396693421305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891901430115312,0.31844938166050385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272415609998837,0.06525923923729011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072843572202153,0.0,0.05535581737729047,0.0,0.0,0.04346270546384782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048279656164535945,0.1004366378812982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323645457832845,0.04952054153777675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215668557048909,0.04514039997409215,0.11370641649119012,0.0,0.14294664867220852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115165211178327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342471354175535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375910111409457,0.11121043058686124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19769018694844975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355792482433025,0.0,0.1077224894426394,0.07318851481529212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288745234805781,0.04608654495991352,0.0,0.051998455358608434,0.054436472198900236,0.07458547280598693,0.0,0.0,0.07122186134544475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958242118855347,0.05233448678632025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172108276342737,0.0,0.1033831667872978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636048748466302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372414474246387,0.15361876581351394,0.0,0.1566865399077679,0.0,0.05854342663060864,0.0,0.058753371179526274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612430511583821,0.0,0.0,0.07118965204224986,0.0,0.16771974080396884
mentalhealth,COB98,2018/03/09,"I have a RARE condition need help .. Hi everyone ! My name is Charles and I have something to share with you. I suffer from what I believe is Synesthesia .. it's going to be a long text but it's important to me because my life is depending on it. Since I am young, I really am a sensible person and always caring for everything ! I always thought about words by a color or shape and anlways was able to relate to others fears and pain. When someone would be sad for exemple I would become sad too ! It's like a sixth sense which can look cool but in my case really is not ! I remember that whenever I was hungry for some chicken for exemple but didn't have some I would imagine eating some and actually feel it ! So I could trick my brain and he was happy ! Another exemple is if I imagine myself in the middle of the ocean I start panicking because I feel like i'm psysically in it. I can even feel pain that animals feel ! Like a fish getting eaten by another fish I can feel his pain .. weird right ? This always cause me to stay at home alone so I reduce the chance of triggering those thoughts and feelings .. it got out of control when I was 13 and smoked a joint for the first time ! The THC sorta opened a door in my brain that boosted my illness to a level I couldn't imagine before .. I started having obssessive thinking about injuries and my illness allows me to feel it .. ( stabbed in the head, fork stabbing in my eyed, sharks eating me and thousands of thought ) ! It's is in my everyday like every second and I got me going crazy .. I know it's all in my head but I feel it ! I tried ssri's, antipsycothics but NOTHING WORKS ! I'm made like that and my brain cannot change .. I cannot stay focused and I lost my job and had to drop outta school, i'm 19 now and I can't wait to die so it's over ! Some people will think it is crazy but it's not hallucinating, I make the difference from reality to this no problem ! I really feel it and it's horrible .. I wish I find a doctor or psychiatrist some day that will be able to help me and have the opportunity to have a normal life .. I'm cursed and hurt ..",1.8643473033321882,3.9462326361502384,3.780035497538076,86.46777567846105,79.44600938967136,7.066895683041338,23.77052559257987,8.096554002634818,1.4035868086568195,1637,57,339,31,41,553,201,426,0.171,0.7120000000000001,0.117,-0.9802,1,1,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,0,5,10,22,1,1,19,1,37,17,6,7,1,78,72,32,1,10,11,0,9,5,0,5,8,0,2,1,27,21,3,2,20,0,0,2,8,12,0,3,14,13,53,10,41,48,6,33,0,5,3,0,9,17,0,10,16,224,80,4,0.16598030671232886,0.0,0.08098641820207163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595277035627609,0.0,0.0,0.207163367384704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404482367741936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118005439832692,0.09165610417667734,0.07061850799247686,0.09350148359921076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779333729111944,0.0,0.0,0.08461399235039115,0.08525374818664272,0.08779257814918669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308051378491244,0.0662608844846579,0.0,0.0,0.05352178331063786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613067672824955,0.08670704670345496,0.0,0.08494393855393396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698392907957093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481421359296928,0.0,0.0699227835385328,0.07930064799670497,0.0745861986005408,0.0,0.0,0.09338699516171847,0.3776608360078125,0.11857636427972115,0.0,0.0,0.0758514966741389,0.07059138204921396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043358929836333576,0.0,0.09433043332228568,0.0,0.1327496138674278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883445614432681,0.0,0.0,0.1703436800064952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112531008745676,0.0,0.08324589041973382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884267561095201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235492161525669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04560921790453686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723679925174882,0.20272398467627933,0.0,0.0,0.07344367417237987,0.06969082721495583,0.0,0.09059355589046976,0.0,0.0,0.07852728972356349,0.055396571794341834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06153614714918103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131272981106631,0.0796312904020532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649221232354909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753492290235164,0.07246380083116312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941036869682172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949685197286062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401166578900123,0.07087313751567034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399046582926882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686503124528007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031728762545121,0.06388987458562663,0.0,0.0,0.1174817153869366,0.17691292257281402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635347855021758,0.0,0.1976547350241252,0.04839222581111386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634486651209635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543458067063099,0.0,0.0,0.060417820051243736,0.0,0.0,0.17686147152118736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plutomichaelis,2018/03/09,"Specific name or just self harm? When I was little, I used to pull out my teeth even when they were barely wiggly because i was in love with the feeling of ripping them out. 

When I was 12 (and still occurring) I cut often as well as bruised myself. I also started to abuse alcohol.

Now I have a problem with pulling my head hairs. I know that’s trichotillomania. But the minute I end one thing I start the other, and they all tend to be sensory issues. I don’t know if that’s called something specific, and maybe some suggestions to deal with my latest urges? Trich has been probably the hardest to deal with, but maybe it’s because it’s just the newest? With cutting I could stop with other things and distracting myself, but I can barely sleep without pulling my hair out. ",4.068200000000001,5.861204686666667,4.46766666666667,85.29550000000002,72.13333333333333,7.4,27.166666666666664,8.07648339933343,1.7058666666666669,613,22,118,9,12,193,94,150,0.113,0.8490000000000001,0.038,-0.867,0,0,2,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,3,0,11,7,2,1,6,0,11,7,5,1,1,32,19,15,0,3,8,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,13,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,5,1,1,5,3,22,2,19,12,2,19,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,4,11,89,30,0,0.0,0.20291060051440504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302080226066086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695352635286567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879238770873806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487173428522698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673414553405666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35311525784458403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168216729980616,0.0,0.0,0.11311310914497855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659228360882823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575827514200998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874698568049646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882358645573894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164370939234552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545654125285365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440997553743643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604763757493927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464315576765286,0.16386906083057814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865757282418382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137988554402905,0.0,0.0,0.13184139447710544,0.0,0.0,0.24243204862481765,0.0,0.1367654276196931,0.14317785686219606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22755002763524595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479103765544805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397989656113498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650848716389884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DallasM19,2018/03/09,"Dr's letter - shouldn't have told work? I have an amazing gp. He wrote my work a very good letter, after I provided him a very elementary ""attending doctors report"" from my place of work. He didn't feel any of the questions were suitable or any of my works business so he wrote them a letter outlining my need for an accommodation due to my mental health - I've been diagnosed with mdm and am on medication as of November. He even added that a case like mije may seem like malingering, and is it not the case, but that I'm struggling and trying to get better. At the time of the letter I was rather suicidal. I'm doing better now but I'm pretty stressed out and I feel hopeless.
Work has put me on a Performance improvement program (pip) until April. My manager listens to every one of my phone calls, reads my notes and then picks apart what I haven't done or what I could have done better. Any accolades or compliments are either absent or seem short (i.e. ""good call.""). 
I understand you need to put employees on improvement programs when they are failing and I'm not asking for special favours...but damn. Weekly meetings about how much I suck at my job are whittling away at my soul. They say I'm ""inconsistent"" and that's their main complaint. My manager states ""I feel we have done all we can"". How can I be this much of a lost cause, and how can this be allowed so soon after a letter from a doctor is provided? 
- letter was written Decemeber 2 when treatment was ramped up  (and dosages increased)
- pip was put in place mid February, I have till April to shape up.
- not getting much guidance - my level of documentation needs to be better it seems and they have jumped all over my ""consistency"". That was my fault - I admitted to knowing I can be an inconsistent person as my mood dictates my productivity.
- my manager has taken the time to run many reports to show me just how poorly I'm doing. I feel like crying. 
- all they ask me is ""do you have any questions?"". 
- the first meeting I had, I indicated that I have a health matter and they said my mental health and performance aren't related and the performance issue isn't related  (obviously I disagree).
- I feel like an idiot for even telling work about my issues. They don't care and I'm fairly certain they're trying to get rid of me. 

Mostly here to vent, as this is upsetting. Any advice is welcome. Yes I am looking for a new job, which is in insurnace, but I feel like maybe I'm just bad at it. I live in Ontario, Canada. 

Thanks for listening, Reddit.",3.7369753086419775,5.597992851851857,4.930393004115229,81.35460185185187,73.15637860082305,7.987572016460906,27.17057613168724,8.697196308434329,2.09446353909465,1970,73,375,38,40,650,232,486,0.117,0.75,0.133,0.5569,4,0,0,0,0,1,79.0,2,2,8,16,18,30,3,3,21,1,51,8,0,7,5,68,92,35,1,6,14,0,6,5,0,2,8,4,0,1,14,18,0,0,14,2,1,7,9,11,0,2,19,11,58,18,52,66,10,47,1,3,1,0,43,22,2,11,22,248,72,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204448586620485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506820566758451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378482740322853,0.0,0.06926828460064552,0.0,0.061558379909958674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608196797748607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056558824421432,0.0,0.07516887517984844,0.07573721766393347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886445039146744,0.0,0.08098487726088628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483064130882194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509239816507928,0.0,0.22634280254832806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739104999534776,0.0,0.06211758648936078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22366939126435734,0.15801024768301328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271155205697877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555684447446232,0.0,0.0,0.12367624294845528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23510282393474796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390220241063676,0.1463239507174682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040518045685865714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009472755982428,0.0,0.06510167252811133,0.0,0.06191152251046316,0.0,0.0804809642668736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747468951363039,0.07406797658637994,0.0,0.0,0.07427148959454889,0.14859753706682252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259193792234888,0.16400134903045474,0.0,0.07120531875417281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995884808725832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437496031600402,0.1540565807100855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500615091557236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223458807641036,0.165180655320999,0.0,0.07374625013740815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013059326750327,0.05863011192606263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20135296025828564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445322612744227,0.07707473515323808,0.0,0.08064460457427539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444003472907606,0.06787727045197285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598079538918818,0.0,0.0,0.07044863793048359,0.0,0.10011063466510484,0.0,0.0,0.07675167710039507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166383542921096,0.0,0.0,0.05913878975860053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220417414129608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cberry22,2018/03/09,"Bipolar Disorder Questions I'm 20 and after years of shifting around with different medications for severe anxiety disorder I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and put on Latuda. I've been on the medication for around 3 weeks at a 40mg dosage and feel pretty good. Anxiety and anhedonia persist pretty frequently, but aside from that overall the intrusive thoughts and constant manic/depressive episodes have basically leveled out. Anyone who is on the same medication, also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or that has lived with bipolar disorder on here that can provide me any insight to any of those? The diagnosis was a complete out of nowhere shock and I'm still not too certain about the future. ",9.833519163763064,10.576119390243905,9.490499419279908,58.317073170731724,58.34959349593496,13.207433217189314,46.8397212543554,12.540900571622839,6.694650174216028,587,36,81,19,7,190,81,123,0.15,0.7809999999999999,0.069,-0.8149,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,9,9,0,0,1,23,13,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,14,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,2,2,22,8,1,18,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,2,7,59,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529111403658086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620639101974486,0.0,0.18231205289108615,0.0,0.0,0.08331848526356941,0.0,0.0,0.21215288909914828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493555735402714,0.12876814806519546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263115414265922,0.24188700407808164,0.0,0.1244954076121308,0.6828305718447862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060250184071906125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999446061105319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521925412418402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601193533602099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424543317425417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978733583473655,0.1334849372811011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461533569998516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516023651695643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459864274336104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558186612671046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673425149554011
mentalhealth,Poppybella,2018/03/09,"I am a liar - what do you think of me? I’ve been trying to work some stuff out in my head, cause I am ashamed of lying to people. I’ve been doing it for years and didn’t have any idea why until recently. 

I lie about my main identity. Things like name, age etc. I pretty much just lie about my age now. I am 16 nearly 17 but my friends and boyfriend think I am 18. I now believe I do it because I was abused when I was younger. Once I escaped, I was very paranoid about my attacker finding me again, so I completely changed my appearance, and went by a different name and age. I go by my real name now, but telling people my age TERRIFIES me. It is the one thing left that makes me a different person from the one my abuser knew (does that make any sense?) 

Anyway, it’s been nearly 5 years since I escaped, I have stopped isolating myself, am safe and now have a very large social life and a boyfriend. None of which know my real age. However, I reckon they will find out soon because I have a boyfriend now. I mean its pretty easy to keep friends at arms length, but you can’t do that in a relationship. So he is bound to find out, or I’ll end up telling him, and he is friends with all my friends so they will find out too. I can’t really ask him to keep this secret from all our friends and carry on the lie can I. 

Also, I had a relationship before the one I’m in now and it ended because he found out that I was lying about my age. Now him and his friends hate me and don’t understand.

So, I am telling you all this to ask you a question: if you were in my friends’ and boyfriend’s position, what would you think of me? If you were emotionally attached to me and had just found out I had been lying to your face all this time, could you forgive me? ",2.7175769502472527,3.68339761307902,3.793944898577053,92.07176102533053,74.2316076294278,7.180906246846303,25.581693410031285,7.526774132740827,0.98958883842971,1352,44,315,16,27,438,165,367,0.121,0.767,0.111,-0.7095,3,0,0,0,2,0,42.0,1,9,2,1,23,14,3,1,13,0,39,4,3,3,4,67,59,26,0,4,8,0,0,1,7,3,1,0,0,1,19,20,0,5,18,0,0,3,5,4,0,3,18,0,63,10,38,37,9,43,0,0,0,0,41,16,0,6,25,222,82,1,0.0,0.1985583746631749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700800630444341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396214249383793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566674222330831,0.09532489083545696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323550263166516,0.0,0.0713003673281572,0.094404290261437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607691856726016,0.08864026228633733,0.0,0.08785375949759636,0.0,0.0,0.06690066864267373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508849891177616,0.0,0.0,0.07332647788937251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425412293922424,0.14842873919886296,0.0,0.0934496355613378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063355332192943,0.0,0.0,0.18374603843374965,0.4531595596772602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04762062196796711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272672677702514,0.08599421951669574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459036770003168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489554126381306,0.0,0.0,0.04604959921398906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103967463334578,0.0,0.059184391518988334,0.0409362785608166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186291044489316,0.0,0.0,0.09127347244205854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159636979860408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923517825342847,0.1703378007997072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618090650037236,0.07316347745277729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704920920927328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386562020301886,0.0,0.0,0.19074606865400884,0.05367895969784192,0.0,0.08273396550016529,0.1799213560749254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931316781145969,0.0,0.0,0.0854148490305126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005341878207122,0.0,0.0,0.09592118337990116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21971230761837915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133465557559033,0.16107056711108167,0.0,0.0,0.048859478545300414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568889062311602,0.0,0.0,0.08722987275537891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827347211630905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767552986382781,0.07560876650968906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100118630769006,0.0,0.0,0.05952305443308844,0.0,0.0,0.10791791574618456
mentalhealth,bowtiesarecool2012,2018/03/09,"I think I need help Hey guys, new poster here, so bear with me please!

This is very hard to write about for me. I’m a 27 year old guy, and I believe I’m having symptoms of psychosis. I’ve never experienced symptoms of psychosis before in my life, but I think my mind may have reached its breaking point. I’ve been working a job I hate where I feel undervalued and underworked. Last year, I got fired from my previous job, which was in the industry I went to school for, and now I’m working in an industry I really don’t care about. 

Naturally, this situation led to a depression cycle. I’ve always grappled with depression and anxiety. But all things considered, I felt I was handling it as best I could. Another thing you should know about me: I am an extremely empathetic person. I am very good at taking on the emotions of others and giving advice. My best friend broke up with a girl who was in an extremely bad place in life, and she decided to unload all of that negativity on me one night. I remember the feeling of crushing sadness and hopelessness I had when I was talking to her. This was about two weeks ago. Ever since then, I’ve been on a steady decline, with some peaks of feeling “normal” again. In the last two days, I’ve started having panic attacks, which I’ve never had before in my life, and this morning I almost believed I was trapped in a lucid dream and began to freak out. I feel like I’m slowly losing my grip on reality. 

I have very supportive friends and family, and I have confided in them about my problems and feelings. I am actively trying to get my empathy under control and expel the negativity in my mind through breathing exercises. Furthermore, I’ve been writing down any questions, feelings, and experiences I’ve been having in a small notepad. I also have plans to become more active and exercise regularly. I’m not using drugs, and I’m not abusing alcohol. I also really don’t want to be on anti depressants. I find the potential side effects of them intolerable. 

If anybody has had similar experiences, please feel free to reach out. What has helped for you? I’m desperate to feel normal again. It’s been a very rough two weeks, and I’m terrified I’m losing my mind. 

Thanks :) ",4.428418693982072,6.130553429577468,5.814967989756724,76.36466709346993,71.04225352112675,9.107298335467348,30.514724711907807,9.573946990214177,3.0259352112676057,1755,75,319,42,33,591,220,426,0.197,0.639,0.163,-0.9752,2,1,2,0,0,1,53.0,0,2,2,9,15,24,2,1,17,0,33,10,1,4,5,68,68,26,0,8,5,0,13,1,2,2,9,0,0,4,15,23,1,1,17,3,1,2,8,14,0,4,18,14,46,11,55,46,6,51,0,8,0,0,21,27,0,5,22,213,61,6,0.0,0.09133408893686323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532736900473808,0.06833192639513676,0.08238129594310946,0.07719031151190085,0.0,0.0,0.12329100130223775,0.06414157563278575,0.0,0.0,0.052420999495107576,0.08083120120848393,0.058970439630341036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769624622715162,0.0,0.0,0.0643634379933369,0.0,0.08513522944436723,0.13118870663255255,0.17369863864742152,0.16179361994599767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859412875621119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645829941236521,0.061546752990004325,0.0,0.0,0.04971397533588735,0.0,0.19918170577051816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939507553043534,0.0,0.0,0.0867111695671401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972853545414558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080944285089176,0.07266964856775716,0.0,0.31181524522917525,0.055070123644867366,0.07401447376667088,0.0,0.0704550409496313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191126232384172,0.0,0.040274158205142,0.07394774057774099,0.0,0.06465592666591602,0.06165257042492989,0.0,0.0,0.1526541580908536,0.0,0.0,0.06905375155873543,0.07610628595974007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333799755547284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529915592762417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042364349499255036,0.12567046004195334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334397844983795,0.03766023682617555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724786246783129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335041038702609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715815715415223,0.11890666976768645,0.07444996319158438,0.0,0.07233981807676915,0.1510554691669838,0.0,0.0,0.08088859855973274,0.0,0.052235345143685205,0.0,0.0,0.09044359813098574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730836277178158,0.08053827272990803,0.16923415903419814,0.07287101416728985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376071697564048,0.0,0.0,0.08635375786369531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876629756660192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732320459492537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801496303760208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063766185074053,0.08664768898591171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456173860338342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747607254081627,0.0,0.16024336067102812,0.057958941543597986,0.06195866039559125,0.0,0.07097026423181979,0.0,0.0,0.10242478416078518,0.0987869589255719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233621024599675,0.0,0.2259049289744761,0.0,0.0,0.06657739641331753,0.0,0.2544154910877615,0.04546721256812483,0.0,0.12366718660225465,0.0,0.0,0.07145932539824093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223878690449472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099281478621722
mentalhealth,ellisel,2018/03/09,DAE get really emotionally and physically tired after therapy sessions? Is this is a bad thing or is it a normal part of therapy?,4.98,7.212943666666668,8.265,57.18000000000001,70.66666666666666,13.133333333333333,32.83333333333333,12.161744961471696,5.684733333333334,104,5,16,5,2,39,20,24,0.253,0.747,0.0,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433541163128857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278494857072841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227406250847425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855656204782381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31561913377409045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867145837385514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6666121262967166,0.0,0.19363083774802628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349865272593633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ummgh23,2018/03/09,"My Psychosomatic Disorder and a word of advice Hey guys. So it's been a long couple weeks.

Maybe I'll start from the beginning. I'm 21 Years old and I've been having mental health problems for the better part of my life. 

Around 5-6 Years ago, I started getting chest pain due to depression. Lots of tests were done in the hospical, nothing was found. They said there's nothing wrong with me and eventually it subsided.

Then, 2 years later, I got massive headaches and vision problems. Again, lots of doctor visits including MRI etc., still nothing to be found. But this time i was put on an SSRI, Venlafaxine, that took the symptoms away. Eventually, I tapered down and stopped taking that. Some time after i was on prozac, too, for a while. Mainly for panic attacks.

Fast forward to this year. Good Situation in my life, have a job, great friends, everything's good. And then I start getting stomach pains. the stomach pains get worse and worse with time, diarrhea joins the mix. Same thing again, doctors visits en masse, nothing to be found. I though alright, I'll just sit this out as the last times.

Now i feel worse than ever. 

My Symptoms:

-Tinnitus (it's bad, can't sleep)

-Headaches

-Nausea, especially when yawning

-palpitations

-coming and going bowel problems

-extreme weakness/fatigue

-insomnia

-my whole body is trembling

-still got those vision problems

-tics


After yet another hospital visit yesterday (I felt like I am dying, still do. It's insane what symptoms your brain can produce if you don't care for it enough), I went to my psychiatrist and he gave me Sertraline which i took, today is the second day on it and I still feel like crap, even worse due to side effects. but I hope it will get better as the Sertraline kicks in. I am also in therapy now.


People, just a word of advice. Don't let it get as bad as I have. If you're having psychosomatic symptoms due to your depression and nothing is found, go to therapy. Don't wait.


Just wanted to get this off my chest",2.853845671660501,5.699876816711594,3.646042750579831,84.28953425687959,81.37196765498652,6.362214003635678,25.87858083119163,7.65591337171366,1.7452949413903336,1573,64,280,27,43,499,209,371,0.134,0.792,0.07400000000000001,-0.9561,2,0,0,0,0,0,72.0,0,3,1,4,21,27,2,2,15,1,26,25,9,2,1,47,59,26,1,8,7,0,3,2,1,1,16,1,0,1,18,16,0,2,8,0,0,11,4,16,0,1,19,4,29,11,40,36,9,68,0,2,0,0,13,15,1,6,45,176,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016845674562494,0.05904003765717024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326284318096145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983964034069498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059291289522221284,0.0,0.07577116514619434,0.06257623744187417,0.0,0.11122238178673684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178108733686843,0.0,0.07398154089578828,0.0,0.07435160051554937,0.0,0.0,0.06790676871257416,0.0,0.0,0.0573730697940137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369557275196023,0.0,0.042953786476701984,0.0,0.1147310979381154,0.0,0.06912398033911821,0.0,0.07633345046920821,0.13634313258805686,0.0,0.06815856654158395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881928213718344,0.07428057569131817,0.043991023484689605,0.06024673349886823,0.0,0.0,0.05985898545648322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735352269287298,0.04758159685088858,0.0639498628077737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29210946482288463,0.05145774554031147,0.0,0.2087856680602797,0.0,0.0757046764989779,0.11172781294181684,0.1065379031903968,0.0734306604615874,0.0,0.06594799618329694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079647017204957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615236365461481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609375658946269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054290791176925535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810665302841246,0.09408812880998862,0.06507827066188489,0.0,0.0,0.05894205505364505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324793055603816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691222853908085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712072354888754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195395625125031,0.0,0.06988923270487855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21261265246649694,0.07814492757931972,0.0,0.07212516543317309,0.0,0.046174522604330435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549224491450384,0.0,0.06695497421912253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633552379930871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486519245854438,0.06665166068512655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142702855280692,0.0,0.21275875745224795,0.0556835587963502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769064051735073,0.05007758849818249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523339517284261,0.0,0.04424844602588777,0.0,0.06543765991877484,0.0,0.1553482867010366,0.0,0.06313238750014935,0.0,0.14799801251297398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928450555697642,0.0,0.05342535868030974,0.0,0.0,0.06174216775437477,0.0,0.07436049662556288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714988725564868,0.0,0.07282053768477703,0.0,0.1715620368315324
mentalhealth,shikha837,2018/03/09,"Good Psychologist in Pune | Nupur Dhakephalkar Dr.Nupur Dhakephalkar is leading expert Psychologist in Pune .Expertise in psychologist in pune expertise in psychotherapy for depression treatment ,psychotherapy and counselling services and other services .",17.407941176470597,20.33192567647059,12.557647058823528,35.309411764705914,42.23529411764706,16.211764705882356,61.11764705882353,14.554592549557764,10.415047058823527,219,15,19,8,2,62,21,34,0.101,0.82,0.079,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,10,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.716421391468485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6976678219943641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ryder_0G2,2018/03/09,"I[16M] Missed A lot Of School Due To Mental Illness. I[16M] missed a lot of school(Specifically, Grade 10, Australian School), due to mental illness problems, mainly [agoraphobia.](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia/symptoms-causes/syc-20355987)

I've missed over a year of high school due to agoraphobia and other mental illness(Depression, BDD). If you're wondering how it's gone on this long with no outside interference, I live with my alcoholic mother, who has always made light of my mental health, she simply doesn't really care. I was never given any kind of help, and she didn't care at all that I was home all the time. As for the government side of things, I really have no idea how they haven't gotten involved considering the amount of time absent...probably just slipped through the cracks? I really have no answer.

My agoraphobia is of the severe kind. I have horrible panic attacks when I'm about to leave or have plans to go outside the house. These usually affect me for the rest of the day, through headaches, heart beating a lot more then normal, and sometimes anger and depressive episodes. To this date, it's been two months since I've actually even stepped outside our lawn, and before that, the longest period was around 8 months. This is all made worse with Depression and BDD(Body Dismorphic Disorder). 

However, a lot of that time was not wasted nearly as much as you may think; I've spent loads of time doing schoolwork(not official, usually through things like Khan Academy), I'm almost completely up to date with my main subjects, and I know at least the bare minimum for our other classes. You see, I REALLY do want to go to school, and learn, and just experience teenage life like any other teenager, but it's just horrible. 

Now, thing is, I don't know how to go about beating my mental illness, and going back to school. My mother's pretty much no help whatsoever. So, I guess it's all up to me, the problem(as I've already stated) is I have almost no idea how to go about it. I've heard of ""Exposure Therapy"", which is essentially exposing myself to what usually worries me, to somewhat get myself used to it. I guess I'd need a Doctor's guidance or some kind of treatment plan, as I don't think I'd be able to do this alone. I'd also have no clue how to handle what the school might do or say. 

I need some sort of advice to get myself out of this hole! I have ideas, some that'd be quite simple as a whole, but I'm looking for some more constructive guidance to help out. Anything would be welcome, and thank you so much for reading! :) ",6.737453416149068,7.475622942028991,6.6422091097308495,76.11710248447207,64.92132505175984,9.835445134575572,31.834989648033126,9.80755857964246,2.9885556107660465,2063,76,371,41,30,653,232,483,0.142,0.795,0.063,-0.9815,1,1,1,0,0,0,96.0,2,3,1,5,19,18,2,1,19,0,34,8,1,9,5,75,70,32,0,7,10,2,0,2,0,3,7,2,2,0,26,18,1,1,10,1,1,7,13,9,0,1,13,5,35,9,65,50,24,43,0,5,2,0,18,12,0,21,25,243,61,12,0.0645682528418365,0.0,0.06300930069118442,0.0,0.0,0.06309534939216681,0.0,0.06900382582833924,0.12931155671260033,0.06687323717793937,0.07125267260228507,0.05163520846974942,0.05372595881929915,0.0,0.0,0.08781725214436653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313417051714239,0.05747943429378345,0.0,0.07345570898321939,0.0,0.04964900087497999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494282749186903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717207730366294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166327404144895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769858464224747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164118148470149,0.0,0.1668376246796582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400081168783205,0.06608834277475685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264672204433732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316014095564995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746849430700283,0.0,0.18347813032993168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225841998894914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863303342324861,0.0,0.0765136905015927,0.12983621651858016,0.06821990417047538,0.06476722217390549,0.0,0.0,0.0745030946799088,0.0,0.21866909455105696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017136979129794,0.0709700463123631,0.0,0.0,0.06836845683978092,0.0,0.0,0.045606466492282186,0.06308957374018549,0.0,0.0570149502045713,0.05714087192060166,0.0542210704571227,0.0,0.0,0.21957447833422924,0.0,0.12219208406797274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253480612471377,0.06849671262880122,0.0,0.0,0.1030755268025789,0.0,0.14239528547142244,0.09575308268172143,0.04979901709814974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326317864685431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575693270264526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568912584605735,0.0,0.12356619567323615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867628476063375,0.06458572592804887,0.0,0.16545630454034546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051347266239733916,0.0,0.4574256330730741,0.0514525378350672,0.0,0.0,0.07294374708879665,0.0,0.05341152598068145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385965306652643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944577219840785,0.07383942430367309,0.0,0.12868883438572348,0.08274545853853645,0.0,0.0,0.1506010699048385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307380089238945,0.0,0.0,0.05576623933400405,0.21333842511369494,0.0,0.038084028431861316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208814843266742,0.0,0.0,0.07002151590970916,0.0,0.06557219497846327,0.06580056586599528,0.04586743426516415,0.0,0.0,0.04157983787681786
mentalhealth,noodle_mama,2018/03/09,"I feel really low when I have more than two hours of free time. 23/F
I'm not quite sure how to explain this, but whenever I have a few hours of alone time where I'm not doing anything (just hanging at home etc) I feel really bored and low and nothing I do can seem to make me feel better. Even if I'm supposed to be doing assignments etc, I just feel down. I'm happy when I'm out with friends or at university or work, but just not when I'm left alone for too long. I first noticed it when I went from full time work to full time study and I had a lot more free time, so after a semester I went back to full time work and part time study.
I recently quit my job and went back to finish my degree but I'm feeling the same way, what could it be? Or what could I do to help? I've always thought I had ADHD, but I've never had issues with organisation or other associated symptoms (besides concentration).",1.4987465352633187,3.176534439790576,3.4954296273483223,90.01337542346779,78.9476439790576,6.58835848475516,21.182938096704646,7.5105763829236425,0.5675725900831536,702,19,160,10,17,238,101,191,0.075,0.7929999999999999,0.132,0.9306,1,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,7,14,9,0,0,4,0,14,1,0,2,2,39,33,20,0,3,15,0,5,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,6,8,0,0,8,0,2,4,4,3,0,2,7,5,16,8,19,22,11,37,0,2,0,0,3,11,0,7,21,104,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199310201925935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274994202561221,0.0,0.0,0.09138651723687556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903799000807718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890342672209924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713481579520436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753790220307524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449767098952966,0.07254101154917114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776641846740345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342048211306997,0.0,0.0,0.08485360461852373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169150012723081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361605636953131,0.0,0.11016743108275667,0.0,0.21631886200696665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463293026460004,0.10898832489662293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932951812838542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719519933121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337267910173128,0.0,0.0,0.07331170313156282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470688721863724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538387724806596,0.1250410321534886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189340925540097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336332982776947,0.0,0.0,0.14071852563564222,0.0,0.1084428769736516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998418688543984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035125225546348,0.11415437255467502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719194941299249,0.4482951677944094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728696367866512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717713951364175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305437719972559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398704365983189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dustbowlfluzy,2018/03/09,"Question about Prozac, Gabapentin, Ambien I hope I am posting in the right sub, please advise if I'm not...I have MDD, PTSD, GAD. I have lots of trauma and have just now obtained a psychiatrist and 2 therapists after decades of just winging it. My psychiatrist spent an hour with me yesterday. He is wonderful. He put me on Prozac, Gabapentin, and Ambien. Have not taken any meds like this, ever. So I was just wondering if anyone had any experience, insight, or could tell me what I can expect. Will I feel better soon-ish? I am really tired of the physical symptoms of depression and the insomnia from ptsd. I haven't slept more than two hours a night for the last two weeks. Thanks in advance, to all who read. ",2.5031111111111097,5.171550125925929,3.5659259259259284,85.52666666666669,81.07407407407408,7.451851851851853,23.814814814814817,8.447377352677275,1.8228370370370373,557,20,107,13,15,179,96,135,0.07,0.805,0.125,0.7584,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,7,6,0,0,7,0,13,6,1,0,2,23,22,8,0,5,7,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,1,1,2,2,2,0,2,5,1,12,4,14,15,3,16,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,8,10,69,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107268630815433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083365384366382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703043228767958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237057125517861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344822508954493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015066180580574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155949486431322,0.0,0.0,0.07834151523365022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538888004008842,0.3051662468304904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629548311610705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569508065206439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172309512734692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721016446170113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539920152256722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700758465261995,0.0,0.0,0.14838816739177954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362229418854558,0.15575589584748134,0.17356647798768113,0.0,0.15498033805803965,0.0,0.09925751256579304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323165551644083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610403323528847,0.0,0.0,0.1354229991108131,0.14264647085788024,0.0,0.1798954353342337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807890938704662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027046253470301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242822463793596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33604819179744616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baileygarcia24,2018/03/09,"Finally getting help! I’ve felt like I’ve been going crazy. I feel as if i have no control over my emotions. Ive felt so lost and empty and like I’ve been drowning... I’ve felt this way for the past couple years for a lot of reasons I’m not going to get into. But i am finally going in tomorrow to get help, i hate getting/asking for help... but I’m excited to finally get help and stop feeling so crazy and lost all the time. ",1.2145652173913035,2.71715893478261,3.7732608695652203,88.49293478260874,79.21739130434783,6.773913043478261,24.54347826086957,7.6454224807358475,1.1964956521739132,330,12,73,5,8,116,52,92,0.196,0.647,0.158,-0.5798,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,2,1,19,22,10,1,1,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,6,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,7,5,6,3,11,15,2,15,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,2,10,38,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132634320699052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755607413783793,0.0,0.15543431334923066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580168885318724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205803904468695,0.0,0.4046377269266592,0.4616546397886936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935721983493396,0.0,0.23950769299024025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869122703694256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766331124893076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725921295613244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066928711045178,0.11942789550903475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410048846186232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444329948764653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744444616073613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191283876246411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150351911042794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904621078170376
mentalhealth,GoddessSeraphX,2018/03/09,"Dealing with break up. Everything is fine, but I've begun to hear voices and my head hurts. ...I've no idea what's going on. There are hushed whispers almost to the back of my mind thats sort of out of hearing range, but  in it.  My ears feel overwhelmed as though they're overloaded with information and it's like someone is staring at the back of my neck.

Every day that passes I feel myself slip slightly more...  and it's incredibly irritating that no matter how much I try to push my finger in my ear to reset my hearing it's always there... it's always like something is talking to me and my ears are over loaded.  

Does anyone know what's happening? ",2.192615384615386,4.488494261538462,3.6500000000000017,86.705,79.46153846153845,5.8461538461538485,22.30769230769231,7.010146845296331,0.7709999999999999,514,16,100,6,13,169,82,130,0.106,0.816,0.078,-0.7808,0,0,1,1,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,5,6,6,1,0,19,13,9,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,0,0,10,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,14,12,3,19,13,2,15,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,2,6,64,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269433231485826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870019918450292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205884288170028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652230403585887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112227896116827,0.17779925779681546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092139243661626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453054543685902,0.0,0.15499642503941571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440247527743186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801330682957772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250629777664526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699428261834965,0.0,0.583126733064327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18462258928603184,0.19468697277289174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947798098936184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851103010545848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413599591634807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677835028529852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612526720639518,0.13276855963694262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386172601012242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944161804627836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708939512349276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Scoutrooper,2018/03/09,"Worried I’ll be alone forever, don’t know how to talk to people I always go to my classes optimistic that I’ll somehow be charming through sheer force of will.  I feel like when I get to know people even a little, I realize I can’t relate to them.  I want to know someone I can talk to about this, but I feel like that may never happen, and that person would need to have very similar feelings.  Basically my ideal partner is growing into someone who’s as inept as me, which seems wrong, like I want someone who lacks confidence to make myself feel better.  I use to think in Highschool I’d just get over it, I was just being a teenager, but then it got way worse.  I used to have a best friend, but I never really talked with him, and now he’s becoming such a jerk I can’t be around him.  I get so sad after class because it reinforces all this, don’t know how I’m going to live if im so lonely.  Just needed to throw that out it was stuck In my head for a while, thank you",3.3104201680672247,3.958732450980392,4.842857142857143,86.29500000000002,72.52941176470588,7.59327731092437,25.35574229691877,7.7094869923839395,1.2009507002801123,756,22,163,9,14,255,123,204,0.121,0.6829999999999999,0.195,0.9366,0,3,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,3,14,13,1,0,5,0,17,1,1,5,3,41,44,15,0,8,7,0,4,3,2,3,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,11,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,4,4,24,9,27,33,3,19,0,2,0,0,13,7,0,4,10,111,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322926128285503,0.0,0.0,0.106283885286009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370923358171285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786470236507129,0.1410707933317134,0.0,0.0,0.13404764673070216,0.11296924241565595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436628053172056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583420770959869,0.18250461253607367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986860102787727,0.0,0.20020527879632866,0.0,0.14518693745097316,0.0,0.10215955342514944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129536541128896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109065835505246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379732953184299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807943283572037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872113173642348,0.12802177791381655,0.1127903635468189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852626063597581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189424439864442,0.197030751500129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710761964022084,0.11153131548531016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818288741516891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162831035764537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246826484508437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080002520515166,0.0,0.11759916010664548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184599229608262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22064017895491986,0.0,0.10539290079402784,0.1506801776286607,0.10138831608621092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129718813813693,0.13017059067810882,0.0907376848908112,0.13965571664689302,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,csella,2018/03/09,I think I’ve completely lost touch with my life- I’ve gotten into the habit of inserting thoughts in my head. I can’t let my thoughts flow normally. Whenever I sense that I’m thinking normally I start making myself think about black people. I know it’s sounds insane. How do I forgot this thought?? I didn’t know where else to post this. I know reddit has a lot of jokey forums but this is serious. I feel like I’ve lost my mind and can’t get back to who I am. ,0.2377491408934737,2.542892422680413,2.0387886597938127,94.84278780068732,88.69072164948454,5.707560137457046,18.392611683848802,7.1686216300943375,0.2799353951890038,363,10,81,6,12,119,66,97,0.103,0.841,0.056,-0.4671,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,0,8,2,1,2,0,21,26,3,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,10,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,8,4,15,1,8,17,1,7,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,45,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380100278328812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18818271034798556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499335813290613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075112944418183,0.12822146436693455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377156249930073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841995766083771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295914657724944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353177199580847,0.12677293800550754,0.08768548887592413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918500442830775,0.15258856841149654,0.0,0.0,0.11980515003179748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812249313681728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517070995178377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442972276288375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189345581066898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703777582282152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34501307684026583,0.0,0.4274642711099889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blindsided3,2018/03/09,"I never loved anyone, not even my family, now I care very deeply about one person and am terrified. Last year three of my family members, including my mother, died within a few months from one another. When they died I did not feel sadness at all, I did not cry, I was actually sort of pleased in a way. They were all nice to me, but I never loved them, even as a child. I feel absolutely no love for the rest of my family and realize that if they died I would not feel bad about it at all. It's terrible to admit but I love funerals, I found them beautiful and peaceful. I started to think that I was sociopathic, or at least had sociopathic tendencies. I've never really cared about offending people. I do have a group of friends who I really enjoy spending time with, and I do feel happy. I was starting to get settled with the idea that I was not capable of love until a few months ago. This girl I was friends with was dating my friend and I started to develop feelings for her (it took me a while to recognize them as feelings). We became close friends while she was in a relationship and I started to realize that her opinion of me actually mattered and that I wanted to be better for her. Eventually she and my friend broke up (he deserved it) and right away we ended up seeing each other. All of the sudden I started to really care about her in a way I have never cared before, I really think I love her. I guess I know I love her, and thankfully she really loves me too, but I'm confused as to how this happened and why I've never been able to feel this way before. She knows all about my issues with feeling in the past and my opinions about death and family, and although she has not been judgmental she told me that a part of her is scared that I only think I love her or that maybe I just like the idea of it. I'm actually terrified, for the first time I actually care about hurting someone and care about if I died. It sounds so dramatic to say, but I was content with nothing mattering and now I have this person who I can't help but love. I don't know how to explain it any better, and for the first time I really need to understand what is going on in my brain. I really don't want to hurt her or lose her, but I also don't know what is happening or what this means for me.",5.614173941690002,5.101859513918633,6.853543897216272,77.91752882556416,67.35117773019272,10.610739581617526,30.38123867567122,10.214889679676881,2.791595354966233,1791,58,372,40,26,611,191,467,0.142,0.617,0.241,0.9965,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,2,0,6,5,19,38,1,2,16,0,30,11,1,2,10,92,85,41,6,6,19,1,8,1,5,1,0,2,0,4,26,26,0,0,24,0,1,2,16,10,0,5,17,11,79,28,61,66,11,50,0,5,1,10,54,15,0,11,31,283,105,0,0.05501256566659951,0.0,0.21473731373039925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876532019516541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04399352888808709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0374104311145465,0.057685471735392166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038466065019949064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168611634669395,0.0,0.045933194455207584,0.0,0.0,0.0936232830307175,0.0,0.0,0.0973082875667552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061412217031732386,0.0,0.0,0.33653386255442697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060428720193684275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283774311916983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872480458603432,0.0,0.0,0.07267056157385082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20744380367002407,0.0,0.22252804914946697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935873205056547,0.0,0.06031843876371745,0.2125128588472268,0.0,0.02874179500088375,0.0,0.03126490883340178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060254325325312,0.0,0.09729486027437162,0.058561899106597114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036873763151206176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177841786860817,0.12420498097016733,0.0,0.0574188258426605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093386954992096,0.04484258344760902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026876360792675042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154498931160166,0.0,0.0,0.4965098834807027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526751640349068,0.05992481149718153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878210101291774,0.0,0.0,0.04079112038009505,0.21214541029589315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278604045420302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455587646415539,0.04183953515059927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595732476815385,0.0525157187303243,0.038138786305222036,0.09606970081299754,0.0,0.060387277138505877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24669720770292666,0.0,0.0,0.059062907647956325,0.0,0.04698043049572392,0.0,0.04374820026078603,0.05507717525194085,0.0,0.043837892335392516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661196836678655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946908856347035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064817929451058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574949230734018,0.0,0.0,0.0962348083185848,0.0,0.0,0.05256686400614515,0.0611209846303915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727002098126069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453911280568988,0.06489567311317768,0.1309992420059658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964028385688689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907934826193464,0.0,0.0,0.035426288631475754
mentalhealth,ZeldaBoi64,2018/03/09,"Are my obsession issues part of Anxiety or something more? Or any other advice? 

I Also did post this on r/anxiety, but, thought maybe this sub might get me better/more answers...

This is something I never have really gotten to talk to in depth with anyone, not even my therapist, however, I’ve begun to realise it is a problem. Less than a year ago I was diagnosed with general Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Ever since then I’ve been on antidepressants that do help, but, get nowhere close to where I want to be. I also, until a few weeks ago, smoked pot daily for the last 6+ months, but, finally got myself to quit because I realised it was making my anxiety worse and, as a result, was starting to make me contemplate suicide.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been very much a thinker. Not that I’m incredibly smart, cuz I’m not, but, I’m almost always in my own head. Because of this, my whole life, once I find something I enjoy I get obsessed with it, I want to know everything about it. These things will usually be stories, like movies or tv shows. I also have been a very creative person since I was little, though my perfectionist and single-minded personality keeps me from ever really expressing that creativity so I usually just keep everything stored in my mind. I believe it has gotten to the point where it is too much. If im at work, with family, friends, alone, whatever… I just can’t stop thinking about whatever stupid thing pops into my head. Lately its been “fixing movies/tv shows”, if I see a movie or TV show that I like or thought had a lot of potential, but, wasn’t done quite right, or as good as I thought it would be, then I just obsess over it. I'm constantly rattling ideas around in it in my brain. I don’t even get enjoyment out of it anymore though… It’s a burden to me.

While I could try to clear my mind and, if i'm lucky, get it out of my head, that usually leads to me chronically worrying about everything in my life and/or becoming extremely depressed and having to fight my way out of it. I exercise, I have a social life, a full time job, an associates degree with plans to go back to school soon, and plans of all these things I want to do, but, these obsessions continue to keep me from focusing on what actually matters. These problems also apply to my romantic relationships and have kept me from being in a relationship that hasn’t almost immediately crumbled apart, either because im excessively anxious about the relationship or because I become indifferent to the relationship because i find something else to obsess about. Does anybody have an advice for me and do you know if this is just an anxiety thing or possibly something else? Thanks in advance for any way you guys can help.",6.734171428571429,6.744680121904764,7.440333333333335,72.88850000000002,64.92380952380952,11.038095238095238,33.88095238095238,10.722254614519581,3.6500666666666657,2164,86,398,53,30,721,252,525,0.134,0.7490000000000001,0.117,-0.8101,3,1,6,1,1,1,71.0,0,2,0,7,26,21,2,5,20,0,40,10,4,5,6,88,72,40,1,11,26,0,0,2,1,3,6,0,0,4,35,19,0,5,11,6,1,3,8,12,0,0,20,1,52,9,66,44,12,61,0,2,1,0,17,28,0,17,29,279,87,4,0.0,0.0,0.0593142845555755,0.0,0.0,0.11879057430973974,0.10775882507802167,0.0,0.1217284176627709,0.06295163056268838,0.0,0.19442878525326532,0.050575340060469716,0.0,0.0,0.08266743838514687,0.0,0.2324896144502747,0.06866615124932103,0.06027922893312813,0.042500059010536745,0.0,0.0,0.05410870275333776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04673746468369548,0.0,0.18526015445443714,0.1342574808241574,0.0,0.06848029246995638,0.0,0.05375657689000147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785260843454928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568354998457022,0.0,0.04852933423257113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470257815139848,0.061692263815646825,0.0,0.0,0.0696612270513539,0.0,0.0531905768027071,0.062200900786783773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155081586901077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802916324717842,0.16494189725093147,0.0,0.0,0.16388033102066407,0.0,0.05729968670290244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658350846093722,0.11110695737822067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695988028315856,0.0,0.1587799509740348,0.0,0.034543706763078386,0.05098090350593208,0.04861277079774575,0.0,0.0,0.060183553965762734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871390363802513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814815401083567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861527190131203,0.13130958303256124,0.06344042431590616,0.06031657361424706,0.16207701250960524,0.0,0.0,0.0668081930082876,0.04954529249924367,0.06856453594291917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879598256560318,0.0593898502009384,0.1218386952210812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167452640400708,0.0,0.0,0.08114466834709103,0.0,0.06106350382593077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447990152911866,0.1841169217040137,0.0,0.04851546565679787,0.0,0.08936325684382697,0.0,0.046878683596640616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473065036006824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582078360761999,0.0,0.0,0.10614467457379692,0.0,0.0,0.057458462560407875,0.06852236492967723,0.05821217810373795,0.0,0.0,0.1163199783399228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292978862430664,0.0,0.0,0.07787677550270819,0.0,0.0,0.2610276937940194,0.0,0.05190733877700213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061514442801041874,0.048435237921672016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083803894726747,0.0,0.0,0.06195940700034067,0.0,0.23396405752483024,0.0,0.0,0.04302168222300539,0.0,0.0,0.050816319824356575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648544144066001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488541213446036,0.0,0.05595972989897982,0.0,0.07057237316016628,0.16152295101725245,0.03894653344504583,0.11943565127191187,0.1447619175813599,0.035442365717127736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04126686325607755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082774947544296,0.10030272761056044,0.1075520696778386,0.09649155279598187,0.04875550651061355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786072694531639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442498859723044,0.0617268845903952,0.06194186326272917,0.043177658186876806,0.0,0.0,0.03914149670836335
mentalhealth,abbiyah,2018/03/09,"My life was in shambles I had a few unstable years because of undiagnosed bipolar, which led me to moving across the us away from everyone I know. I picked up the pieces and have started university. Now that I'm properly medicated I'm really regretting moving here and not knowing anyone. I want to move back but at the same time I finally have some stability. Any advice?",5.688428571428571,7.201182414285718,7.2328571428571475,68.14214285714287,67.71428571428571,11.314285714285715,34.0,11.20814326018867,4.441657142857141,299,14,51,10,5,103,57,70,0.076,0.924,0.0,-0.4324,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,2,0,12,10,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,0,8,0,9,8,4,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,6,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20732950270852515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442824819239456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835379239369653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934015528121293,0.16314518836253056,0.0,0.1293365097961101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20273697414879646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324212300177949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332055302156705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498615366937294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373837036822474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6765075516386034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359211640430305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017460826011972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123717695644532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552136898099095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251430216645319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663015091841296
mentalhealth,ThinkDeeplyN,2018/03/09,"Anxiety is a Bully Anxiety is a bully. It knocks you down, and it beats you up. It tears up your insides with razor sharp nails and squeezes your muscles in its vice-like grip. Anxiety is also a verbally abusive bully, whispering what-ifs and derogatory comments that only you can hear. “Everyone is so much better at life than you,” it lies, “you can’t handle this, no one really cares, this is never going to go away, you’re weak, there’s something wrong with you.”

It’s so difficult to fight this bully who does not back down easily, and continues to throw punches as you try to jab with a left hook, try to fend off the intrusive thoughts and anxious panic filling your brain. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes it feels too exhausting. It feels easier to not fight back, to just lie down and take it. To be washed away by its power. But that’s not really easier because the hits will just keep coming. This bully doesn’t mind kicking someone who’s down. I’ve got to stand up; got to fight back.  I can’t look too far into the future because that will only exhaust me more. Instead, through God’s grace and strength He has given me today, I can fight for today. I can hope that tomorrow, if the bully remains, He will give me the strength to face it. My God is bigger than any bully, and He has already triumphed. In His perfect timing this bully will flee.

 Note: I did write about this on my personal blog too...not sharing that link due to not wanting to promote it and go against the rules. Just adding the fyi so no one thinks I'm plagiarizing if they stumble across the post. ",3.943911509229096,5.5779613648208475,4.658033387622153,84.45015540173728,72.15960912052117,7.722529858849077,27.12391422366992,8.344100000000001,1.848196634093377,1237,44,238,20,24,397,168,307,0.227,0.6679999999999999,0.105,-0.99,1,0,1,0,4,0,43.0,0,10,1,8,15,20,4,1,12,0,20,8,2,0,2,36,41,17,0,4,10,0,5,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,26,14,0,1,5,1,0,7,10,11,0,2,5,8,21,9,40,30,2,39,0,0,1,0,27,19,0,3,11,156,47,1,0.0,0.15151267066154736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111483117654192,0.102262742713465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869603641389774,0.0,0.2934753793182812,0.1444639784008579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402882492680167,0.2949872666109128,0.0,0.1559045816007347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130963192409596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275239810280646,0.0,0.0,0.13037855290156508,0.0,0.0,0.11015422994024604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190553421954652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219141826037468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931634044742074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226707332906758,0.21802538296871288,0.0,0.20454894129808504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412604143946028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701015830708673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366245526828235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893812601211578,0.0,0.09032291119155328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738400293384746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291187507301573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400389691015767,0.0,0.09862619371189392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733047701634903,0.19451158961314005,0.0,0.15003544959580353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165677481557344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247028102260857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384184360795873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083492924740488,0.0984455308413062,0.12647306876158373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096147168315846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193805920422871,0.0,0.10151960927011147,0.07456578040676301,0.0,0.2424238254754769,0.0,0.0,0.17363941719847278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542483736269537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981281254952552,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doompumpkin,2018/03/09,"I don’t know how I can find work with misophonia? Worried about supporting myself after uni? (UK) Struggled with extremely bad misophonia since high school, close to finishing university and I’m worried about the future. Does anybody here have any experience or advice about working with misophonia?",7.116122448979597,10.699337755102043,6.534040816326531,65.67167346938777,69.40816326530611,10.450612244897961,36.330612244897964,10.355215969177356,5.22825387755102,246,13,32,8,5,76,40,49,0.206,0.74,0.054000000000000006,-0.8038,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,8,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,19,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411128125378072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779259373194547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601873879598906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21592503694726933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413604072694417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255171434404335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606958060152224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560260492381632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497154408359349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410701224735708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25794765477146964,0.0,0.0,0.2799991843436188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592613142332385,0.5011556797083868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ButtercupButterflies,2018/03/09,"Rough Day Today - Living with Mental Health Conditions is proving to be extremely tiring and disappointing for me. Hi Everyone,

I just needed a place to share my experience today.

I am feeling really worn out from only getting a couple good days a week. It is frustrating and demoralising.

I want to be so much more than I am, yet am held back immensely by the constant 'pulling down' and 'pulling back' of my depression and anxiety. I have been in treatment for years. 

Permanent conditions since childhood only see slight improvements from time to time. It is hard work. I need to reinstate self compassion today from a mind that doesn't even have the energy to be nice to me...

Anyone else relate lately?

Hugs to all who are struggling today, too. You are not alone <3",4.992761904761903,7.366492085714285,5.7328571428571475,74.74047619047622,71.0,9.523809523809524,28.809523809523807,9.928628108626363,3.2663095238095234,612,24,102,17,12,199,99,140,0.12,0.73,0.15,0.3784,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,7,8,1,1,6,0,15,3,0,0,2,16,23,5,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,3,4,11,4,20,17,3,22,0,2,1,1,5,4,0,0,16,71,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696494771171806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085526259631263,0.0,0.0,0.09921933545483884,0.14539266851280944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182237057887652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334280308100315,0.0,0.0,0.15700894859692266,0.0,0.18302670299239404,0.0,0.12221771529793092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853871147475264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372319241320952,0.0,0.0,0.1355909243882809,0.0,0.1388048074944091,0.0,0.0,0.07174858263127938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413656162354898,0.0,0.0,0.11901845513889235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711395932088804,0.0,0.0,0.15083238966741372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006866461854205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529973916628673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300118500938344,0.0,0.14327790786465958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431236055373908,0.2104331625536635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21584172289153628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825463486739487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090436687192256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307542227162228,0.0,0.14803198497900455,0.0,0.0,0.11738062122022425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834402613605996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654853219158561,0.16309244602862275,0.5380160253139925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836959220659123,0.0,0.11382311150551155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330442786058122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137853881917532
mentalhealth,yoyo4545,2018/03/10,"What is this guys? :( Scared. So basically for 7 months now I am suffering from hopefully Suicide-OCD, I was diagnosed with OCD 2 times, and 1 time the doctor said it might be adjustment disorder but it does not describe my symptoms well.

So basically, it all started after reading about Chester Bennington's suicide, about 7 months ago, then I started having intrusive thoughts about it, then I googled it, started reading about depression, then I had a major panic attack, to the point of vomitting.(Yes, I know this is a typical trigger for OCD and this is how it usually starts, I had OCD episode 5 years ago, but can't remember exactly if it was the same.) Anyway, here is what happens.

**My symptoms are:**

- Knot in the stomach when it is bad, always.

- Butterflies like in the stomach when I am good.

- Obsessive thinking.(Don't know if it is obsesssive though, It is like I get intrusive thought or feeling, then I the knot in the stomach appear and I start thinking about possible diagnoses etc. And the thought keeps feeling real. I am irritable in those moments. (I know it sounds like OCD, so far, but **don't jump to conclusions yet.**)

'Life is meaningless' feeling. It is not like the depression feeling. More like the existential way, but still doesn't feel existential. It feels kind of synthetic. It is based on few things:

- Thoughts like 'What is the point of working when I will die one day?' Etc.

- Dark high contrast, low brightness pics of my future, not consious, like stuck in the back of my head, can't see them clearly, they are random, for example at the moment it is like me standing at the bus stop in my university, the image is drone like. And other weird stuff.

- It is usually triggered when I imagine doing something nice or just living a normal life, like a lost feeling? I don't know how to describe it.

- It is like in the end of life nothing happens.(I know it is irrational it is fucking weird and always accompanied with anxiety.

- Like a flat life feeling. Again, not emptiness like depression.

- It is strongly connected to working.
Other symptoms include:

**Other symptoms:*

- Irritability when it is bad.

- Sudden feeling of trapped in life, like I want to escape, but there is no escape.

- Sudden feeling like everything I see is too much. Looking at my room for example. Like overload?

- Feeling like if I work in the future I will do it.(For example my mother told me that I can start working at a store and instant images of me working then at the end of working I do it, it is like if i work for a week I will do it. It is terrifying. It comea with a knot in the stomach and mood drop.

- Feeling like if this condition is gone and I continue to live a normal life I will do it. It almost feel like I want these things to be there, but at the same time I am terrified of them, but at the same time I am terrified of them leaving.

- Feeling like a dark cloud is setting over my future and I can't see my usual future because of those pictures and feelings, again ALWAYS accompanied with anxiety.(Again, not quite like the depression thing.)

- In the morning, before I fully woke up I am in this weird half-awake condition when those feelings and thoughts like attack me? But at the same time it feels super real, like me. Then I can't go back to sleep, I stanf up, make coffee and those things usually last about hours, then I get almost to my normal self. However, when it is bad, it is bad all day and I have multiple times through the day when I feel normal for a couple of mins, then it hits again.

- Doubt if I want it or not and extreme confusion over it. It is more like 'I want it but I am pretending not to.', 'I don't want to admit it', 'Don't fully realise it.' And when this is there it feel legit, like I really want it BECAUSE of those feelings, which is horrific. It feels 100% like me.

- I am avoiding asking myself if I want to do it or if I want to die because:
  - When I do it it feels like I do which is making everything worse.
  - Or I say no, but with extreme anxiety and then yes appears and feels 100% like me which is scary.

- Gets worse after an arguing. Hits hard and my anxiety goes up all the way. (I thought It was BPD , but I researched a lot and it does not sound like me.)

It seems to have a cycle:

**When I am feeling okay:**
Bad in the morning.
Then I feel fine, then in the afternoon it hits and my mood drops, then usually at midnight I feel okay.

**When it is bad:**
The whole day is bad and I have minutes when I feel okay, then it hits again.

The most scary thing in this condition are **the urges**.

They almost everytime come without any reason or 
after days of worrying, it induces a panic attack in which everything hits at once.

Urges:

When I am close to dangerous objects.(Power sockets, high buildings, medications, etc. You get it.(I know it sounds like OCD, but still, wait, **don't jump to conclusions yet**.)

Urges are caused by thoughts like:

'Cmon, it will be so easy.'(This one is terrifying.)

'Life is meaningless anyway'

'I want to do it.'

'Why don't just give up.'(And it feels super real like I am about to give up.)

Etc. Etc. Etc. 

I am terrified.

**Background description of the urges:**

So, they happen when I am feeling relatively okay, then I can tell it is probably OCD. HOWEVER, when it is bad or hits bad out of nowhere here is how it feels like:
Like a flat life feeling, with the things, I mentioned before. And the scariest thing is that it feels like 1000% like me and like a decision. 

It is terrifying. I can only tell that it was not me when I am fine, but then, it hits again. 

**The scary thing is that it feels like I have anxiety because I want it and resist it or because I know it is not right**

**The second scary thing is that I can't tell if intrusive suicidal thoughts trigger feelings(good.) Or the feelings trigger real suicidal thoughts.**(**bad.**)

Here is how it happens and what it looks like:

**03.03.2018:**

I am watching a TV show, feeling relatively fine, when I decide to see if the feeling is in background. I suddenly get a thought like 'I can't continue living.' With a very fucking real feeling like I really don't and all of those feelings hit. It feels horrific. I am immediately not sleepy, In highly self aware state, with like racing thoughts(not exactly.) I feel the knot in the stomach, it feels real, I immediately turn off the show on my phone and message a person who has the same thing as me at the moment. I stand up and go to the kitchen to smoke a ciggarete. **IT STILL FEELS SUPER REAL AND 100% LIKE ME** I light my ciggarete and my vision crosses arround the power socket on the wall as soon as I see it thought like 'I want to do it' appear or 'It is pointless' I can't remember the thought exactly it felt super fast. After this a feeling like I want to give up appears like I am about to do it. An urge to look back at the power socket appears. I open reddit and start to write this topic. As I am writing I calm down and it feels less real and turns into 'background' again. As I am writing I have mini hits lasting a few seconds which makes it real again. As I wrote this sentence the same thing happened.


**Panic attacks:**
Basically the same thing, but in more intense way. More intense urges. 
Etc. Etc. I am even not sure if it is a panic attack or something worse.

**After a panic attack I calm down, but the next few days it is so fucking bad.** 

So I have researched a lot about this topic and they are several diagnosis I want to mention and to say few things about them:

I am extremely scared that it is **suicidal depression.** However I looked at the symptoms here is what I get:

- Hopelessness (I am not sure about this, I can't tell if the meaningless thing is hopelessness. And as soon as I mentioned hopelessness I felt like I am feeling hopeless which gives me knot in the stomach.)

- Worthlessness - I don't have it.

- Guilt - I sometimes have it over the thoughts.

- Sadness - I don't have it.

- Emptiness - I don't have it.

- Depressed mood - Can't tell.

- Lost in interest in usual activites. (I can't tell if I get this, I tend to only research or reread articles about this topic when I am feeling bad, and I am not able to do nothing else. I tend to have moments when I don't want to go out because of this knot in the stomach and the other stuff, I 'preffer' to be at home and reading stuff.)

- Tiredness - After a long day when it is bad, yes.

- Oversleeping - I usually sleep about 8 to 9 hours.

- Low self esteem - I don't have it.

- Feeling burden - I don't have it.

- Lost of apetite - When the knot in the stomach is there, yes, like my stomach is sick.

- Suicidal thoughts (As you probably read already, I get this, however, in depression, it is associated with relief, fantasies, and CONSIOUS THINKING.(As I am typing this I feel like it is giving me relief and like I feel consious about it, which makes the condition worse - the knot in the stomach gets worse. 

**Told my psychiatrist and psychologist about it, they said it is not depression** However I am not sure.

My next fear is **Bipolar Affective Disorder Type 2**:

Bipolar is known to cause depression and hypomania.
I looked at the symptoms of mania and hypomania.
I asked most of my friends and family if they seen any of the symptoms(I showed them a list of the symtpoms.) In me and they dismissed it.
I also analysed my mood and actions while I am fine. 

I tend to do the things I usually do, for the same time. 

I don't sleep less. 

I don't talk faster. 

I am not easily distracted.

I don't do reckless stuff. 
And most importantly my mood does not change completely from the bad mood. Also it tends to change during the day. 

**The thing which is worrying me is that I am more irritable than usual.**

Anxiety symptoms which I have:

- Irritability.

- Sweating and BAD sweat smell, worse than usual.(My hands sweat when I am bad, however they were always sweating since I am young so I don't know if it fits there.

- Knot in the stomach.

- Derealisation.(Sometimes.)

- Restlessness.

- Faster highrate.

- Headaches sometimes.

- Unsettledness

I am sure that I missed something. Feel free to ask questions if you have. Thanks in advance and have a good night.

**P.S. I am aware that this is probably reasurance seeking, but however it feels too real to be OCD and in fact I am not sure if I didn't missed something. I know too that the feeling like I didn't described everything is probably OCD, but still.**

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mentalhealth,F00dbAby,2018/03/10,"So I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist in a month should I tell them about my occasional drug use? So I never told my gp about my drug use(just smoking weed) for fear of any repercussions. 

If i was to tell the psychiatrist what’s the worst case scenario of me telling them I occasionally smoke weed. 

What’s the worst case of me not telling them. ",4.992608695652173,6.426746521739132,5.0122898550724635,83.70626086956524,69.28985507246377,8.998260869565216,29.74202898550725,9.3871,2.3391715942028988,286,11,60,6,5,89,43,69,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.9081,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,1,4,3,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,6,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,14,0,9,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355099073301938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621780781587559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22423328008299834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949830236079802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905479554366134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536887121225623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6966803488279327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904102855243982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442092636595471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nibblemyearlips,2018/03/10,"Does it sound like I have mental health problems. If so, what should I do? I just feel like nobody will ever like or want to go out with me. I just feel sad all the time. I went on a date last Saturday and the guy texts me two days later and says ""want to have sex? Haha"" I sent him a couple messages on the dating website I met him on and he read them but didn't reply. There's another person I talk to on the dating website and he was online tonight but never messaged me (and he always messaged me every day). I just feel extremely sad and unwanted by everyone. I work and live alone and have nobody to talk to. I always feel like a burden to everyone. It's like I live with a big hole in my heart 24/7. I can't find a date in person. I can't find one online and I just don't know what to do. I hate the way I look and feel about myself. A lot of people say I'm pretty on the dating website but then tell me that they just want to fuck me.



When I was younger, I was always the one that was left out by everyone. My mom never seemed to care about me. To her it was always about my younger brother and sister. She kicked me out the minute I turned 18. I didn't feel wanted or loved at all. I just feel like everyone hates me or just want something from me.



What should I do?",0.7195957327344225,2.4646865182481754,2.6024817518248184,95.17422796181921,81.62773722627736,5.38326782706345,17.837731611454238,6.297961479604792,-0.3342466030320046,982,20,229,8,26,327,126,274,0.124,0.763,0.113,-0.8371,0,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,1,14,16,3,0,14,1,19,5,1,0,5,56,45,21,0,10,14,3,7,6,0,3,1,3,0,3,8,16,0,0,11,1,0,3,7,7,0,3,10,11,43,9,30,32,3,34,0,2,1,3,26,13,1,6,23,152,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751119319138583,0.0,0.0,0.3133619708512846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872467376690153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599238419627017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417538438786624,0.0,0.12143815564567245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239145776224224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851642288130666,0.07932558806241513,0.3598581302246138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33323612247481965,0.201782724116136,0.0,0.0,0.17210311931516822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704032511544955,0.0,0.0,0.053507717490602666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322348134979057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859076233101246,0.0,0.10007723962334222,0.0,0.11156841766810682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051742477176276,0.07674496348123107,0.0,0.0,0.10229444701487182,0.0,0.0,0.2759821360362165,0.0,0.16627266927132509,0.0,0.0790624396172106,0.0,0.0,0.08004311694892048,0.08497421412019147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488123797655236,0.0,0.0,0.11026755395355264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522884735123084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759719839151826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652718808146368,0.16441661281982647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957845815644352,0.0,0.09008900785045558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417565926438276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974400550789968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571078864722853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248140900949505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134869810513155,0.08229140793359592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054899727611678266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024083609014646,0.09197104617154277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776610801750252,0.07473203125895314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727816093377237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854245300993995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,palmtrees007,2018/03/10,"Mental Health is no joke ,.. the last few days have felt like a dream The last few days I have had extreme anxiety .. I’ve always been super social and I travel a lot and am okay being In new places . I literally have gotten anxious leaving and being further then 20 miles from home. .. 

I have no idea where this came from. I have a job I like . Broke up wth a shitty person 8 months ago .. don’t have any major stress .. my job at the moment is stressful due to an event we are putting on but I can’t complain it’s in Hawaii ... 

I have felt so scared and hopeless ... yesterday I called a warm line and was able to talk to someone .. I think my anxiety is coming from unresolved stuff from the guy I broke up with ..

He was extremely verbally abusive  and controlling . If I didn’t do what he said he would get angry and ignore me but expect me to fix everything and chase after him. ... everything was a fight .. how long I worked on weeknights ; start up culture Job ) how if I went and had dinner with a friend I was supposed to check in with him  ( could only do this during the week as weekends I was suppose to be with him ) and when I didn’t ( it was a 2 hour dinner ) he flipped out and said I should be checking in on “home” 

“Home”? At that point we had only been together 2 mos. it wasn’t like I lived with him and left him with our infant child ... 

He would also expect me to pay for everything as he was a single dad and I should understand his situation . Basically if I couldn’t cover him then whatever it was I couldn’t go to it . We went to a huge festival last year where I pretty much paid his way and he threw it in my face that we were only there for “me” he also threw a fit when he realized it’s not easy to get drugs there . He finally got some and here is where my mental health got affected

I did a tiny bit with him , I hadn’t done anything in years . I had a bad trip in result and had to go to the medical tent where they told me my bad trip probably had to do with my state of mind ( which was negative thanks to him ) he screamed at me the first day at the festival angry and told me when you love someone it doesn’t matter what it is , you make it happen ( so if you don’t get your partner a narcotic drug your a piece of shit ) so I think the hostility caused me a bad trip. They gave me a pill to calm me down ( atavan) and they took care of me

The next day I was shaken but knew we could go to the final day sober . He chose to do drugs again but this time he didn’t feel it and he got super paranoid and anxious and made us leave early .. 

I broke up with him about 2 months later . I was sick of him and his kids and his life

He was also still married which he hadn’t told me . And made every excuse why they couldn’t file ( some property issue ) 

But the anxiety I felt these past days felt like the bad trip anxiety . It was so bad it took over me .


I am being kind to myself and bought some healing lotion ( aroma ) and I have lavender and I haven’t had coffee and I’m just being peaceful it’s almost gone the anxiety but this shits no joke 

I vow to talk to someone about the abusive I faced with him and work on healing ...",2.1932780522230075,3.487059603975535,3.695122324159023,90.97125793930842,76.04892966360856,6.865631616090332,21.751235003528574,7.468242284971852,0.580384474241356,2407,60,545,30,52,797,274,654,0.189,0.705,0.107,-0.996,3,0,3,0,2,1,70.0,7,5,4,6,24,37,4,3,33,1,71,18,4,9,0,99,116,55,0,15,12,1,6,4,2,4,11,3,3,6,26,47,2,2,11,5,5,18,19,19,0,1,58,10,87,18,67,43,11,93,0,4,0,1,70,33,2,10,44,362,113,6,0.061493963653403386,0.14572058272386496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451068844529031,0.0,0.06157732181423761,0.0,0.0,0.14753010154940868,0.051167903938350696,0.0,0.0,0.041818004002180456,0.0,0.2352135693923669,0.13894135073498848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05060429246147707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25672445523007026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713548151256597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279221232743605,0.07033271224065331,0.06269719430248305,0.06317123996393241,0.0,0.05297160463974667,0.0,0.0,0.06897070917515488,0.09819585233575794,0.0,0.0,0.2379511157265665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292967506558916,0.0,0.0,0.21394042438980196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181131659089702,0.0,0.16580042813403822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031093195710031007,0.0,0.23617539459412945,0.13472726276221325,0.0,0.05230673406937903,0.0,0.0,0.047510083776247165,0.0,0.09638417381745618,0.0,0.10484531001953296,0.0,0.14754702094234495,0.0,0.0,0.06088869208406252,0.05437890897177092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073041555237555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850503783670646,0.0,0.06055916718292172,0.0,0.0,0.06941919989371083,0.0,0.06418372142082135,0.18306981075525294,0.0,0.0,0.06403650019893968,0.0,0.1503773636025598,0.0,0.1302264569630931,0.06681337143833208,0.0,0.04343500512095926,0.12017137784387764,0.0,0.054300296527595965,0.054420222731077286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227996885317323,0.055500703081833164,0.11637415054137627,0.041047698247100216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061948698887709874,0.12394290365604195,0.0,0.06209137333142903,0.0,0.0981677902030237,0.0,0.0452051388713948,0.0,0.0,0.05939125328959876,0.06539952797920183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030679114762776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058702946494197515,0.0,0.053694157129401364,0.06424810369482414,0.0,0.058131672258082,0.0,0.0,0.06256146851450715,0.06630089356156038,0.0,0.0,0.061818418218399986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698968282073816,0.0,0.061566185325752226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624533999643153,0.0,0.06912179164250229,0.0,0.06268535182719563,0.15631090754422208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043525743981572836,0.0,0.04910915880859909,0.0,0.14088225519711606,0.0,0.0703958760812431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885303726932523,0.0,0.056615379757477366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880569778335403,0.0,0.0,0.035857624727655524,0.0,0.0,0.17628035261023495,0.13664411255058087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401738486430031,0.07396966672300354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881104603966988,0.049326748384053015,0.0,0.0,0.11401104077672725,0.05548873742300989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895366758585,0.0,0.0,0.08736709486273438,0.0,0.0,0.07920019286799453
mentalhealth,pRAWed,2018/03/10,"Want help understanding a possible diagnosis of mine. I am a 21 year old male from Colorado, I have fallen so so far in the last three years I dont remember how I used to think so well anymore. Long story short I am currently in a residential treatment program that is helping to teach me how to save my own life. I am diagnosed with moderate or severe depression idk... I take meds regularly for it due to lack of concentration and energy. However I am also a drug addict. Before I started my journey into institutional life I had been experimenting regularly with weed. I was in a rather unhealthy relationship at the time and didnt feel very confident in myself as a person coming in to a new environment like college. 

which brings me to my point. I believe I have a long lasting paranoid delusion. in college at the peak of these thoughts I believed people would talk about me when I walked by and that everyone knew who I was and what was going on with me. that was in 2015, to this day I seem to have convinced myself that someone or something is watching me and aware of my actions. 

To many that may seem scary, but I have found that I have been so lonely, at times they comfort me. My strongest rationalization I have created for myself is that it is the dead, angels, spirits, I'm not certain. I am not particularly religious but ever since I was young I have believed in reincarnation which has lead me to believe that these spirits have chosen for one reason or another to stay in the afterlife perhaps as guardians (if im losing you a bit with that one I dont blame you at all). 


I have been tested before for possible psychosis and even drug induced psychosis. My best way of describing it is that I have ""created"" voices in my head but they dont sound any different to me and I dont really have any dialogue with them. Its like they are sometimes there when I do something I think is notable, or funny, or stupid, but its always just comments and I dont give any of it much weight. I think I need to make it clear that these are NOT hallucinations I do not actually ""hear"" anything other than what it might be like for you saying to yourself ""hmmm didnt take out the trash today"" it is very similar to this but I am not really ""hearing"" myself talk im thinking of a group of other entities thoughts and feelings. The rational side of me knows that its not real and whats me to stop thinking like this. the irrational side of me is comfortable with secretly being a bit nutty as it doesn't really interfere with functioning at all in fact it is actually quite helpful in my battle with addiction.

Is there a name for these kind of thoughts/paranoia or is it simply under a mental delusion. If there were a point in my life were I felt like this was a problem could i do anything? (have been put on a heavy dose of zyprexa before, didnt do anything) could this develop into something more serious? any info would be nice and congrats if you made it to the end. ",4.972888601036272,6.0807810708117485,6.114662780656308,77.00505116580314,69.03454231433506,9.175146804835924,31.57344559585492,9.451951473030183,2.9154790673575133,2356,99,440,49,40,788,266,579,0.085,0.7979999999999999,0.117,0.9619,3,2,5,0,0,0,51.0,0,4,4,4,18,21,2,0,25,0,67,11,1,8,6,93,98,37,1,12,22,0,4,5,0,4,9,5,0,2,43,23,1,2,21,0,0,9,15,7,1,3,22,10,69,14,74,67,9,62,3,3,1,0,25,30,0,13,26,336,112,6,0.0,0.0,0.13002902524133342,0.145257975648499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327845057637595,0.055435737095927536,0.0,0.0,0.18122390774766955,0.06986010516790482,0.0,0.0,0.06607219019163793,0.0,0.0,0.16447534705739367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700739944199222,0.30024557304629385,0.0699168089545667,0.0,0.14547028963403236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738988159250099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638621157032804,0.0,0.0,0.04296637305094502,0.0,0.057382358563748084,0.06762102071182867,0.0,0.06960693542634422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904087500842636,0.0,0.15452323569808654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590082714115613,0.0,0.0,0.04400391399629601,0.060264387355402974,0.0,0.06366120510657354,0.0,0.06517015323515096,0.0,0.0,0.0673732590230883,0.0,0.06396860177730547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304876511934243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391092618264486,0.03786342996700046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837449772133396,0.0,0.1501780995081784,0.0,0.1339681324006164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392871139305444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937768242077721,0.03661430075441215,0.10861339957556357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117354861048328,0.1627433507105104,0.0,0.0,0.11791865321106848,0.0,0.07453418159755024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304036630019492,0.044471421208905584,0.06754534313420363,0.0,0.0,0.074003219407358,0.0,0.06714039166291172,0.07067655629928986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897562731666416,0.049400167389490685,0.0,0.06434498288471348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990971206393821,0.0,0.09029104233667246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04618805293784856,0.05817270103147519,0.0,0.0,0.1259606844215605,0.15021501794712847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374928700969823,0.0,0.0669745937642913,0.0,0.07086184314588674,0.0,0.07583164723068862,0.12804134725001212,0.0684996191748884,0.0,0.07152825166682203,0.07547095880544293,0.0,0.0,0.05298134485480769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130229415712505,0.0,0.07526511346231772,0.0,0.05511129772697065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056449516909972526,0.15386909866352558,0.06589192666323236,0.0,0.04715615678090442,0.07101133555919521,0.0,0.055699875524266286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018452506261223,0.10709821124974693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344688797701555,0.0,0.10578256247606883,0.07769690389044358,0.0,0.06315088692819956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935697270660082,0.0,0.05754094762545085,0.0,0.10994203165367346,0.03929601693667891,0.052882297443579314,0.0,0.08112895937846475,0.0599021472988618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465424472890023,0.0,0.0,0.08580615448048819
mentalhealth,SeeingBabylon,2018/03/10,"After every time we fight... After an argument with my wife, I often have very intense emotions about my dead Mom. As the baby boy in my family, I guess I have mommy issues. ??",5.4944117647058786,5.459361382352946,7.351764705882353,72.63294117647061,67.52941176470588,9.15294117647059,25.823529411764717,8.841846274778883,2.0379882352941183,133,3,23,2,2,47,28,34,0.19,0.768,0.042,-0.7627,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,6,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,3,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091273621926219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30644328382586894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342875569299877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006700832006041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796211263200547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425975428084889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208355615632116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001007231515924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,30fretibanezguy,2018/03/10,"Do not have any mental health condition, but recently unable to leave my bed? I'm very much an outsider to this subreddit but I see you do give advice here. I dont have any mental health condition, (am scoring very low in various depression/anxiety inventories), however in the last few weeks I seem to be compulsively staying in bed pretty much all day. 

As soon as I get home even if I tell myself not to I just end up lying in bed all day and once there, have very little volition to leave. I'm currently blaming being bored in my house/having nothing to do, but then doesn't explain why its so hard to leave my bed surely? It makes me very annoyed at myself. While there all I do is watch videos and some days nap for a few hours.

The only reason I'm keen to stress my regular mental health is becauses it really is like a stand-alone symptom I'm having: I've not lost interest in other activities, regularly exercise, have high hopes for my future etc, but just can't leave my bed. I was hoping people on here might better have ideas as to what the source of this compulsion to lie in bed is, given I seriously doubt its depression?",6.764066666666667,6.114479062222222,7.665611111111112,73.49975000000002,65.04444444444445,11.411111111111113,31.63888888888889,10.864195022040775,3.3094222222222225,899,29,173,22,12,304,134,225,0.173,0.713,0.114,-0.9007,2,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,9,15,1,2,6,0,22,5,0,2,4,26,36,13,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,7,0,8,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,8,0,0,3,3,19,7,26,30,10,27,0,3,2,0,4,13,0,7,14,112,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083543075282683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687303805485587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034458217305873,0.0,0.07893956420321792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290326512620201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912625874232568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964576688378555,0.0,0.08887682907651487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093714033265936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139512880983566,0.0,0.11508339322235644,0.0681555872019738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391217222212485,0.09898861957976776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243738199705072,0.0,0.0,0.3290563356464568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902520533154328,0.10350732359016923,0.20498059979204392,0.10162071597908404,0.0,0.0,0.11648820689006215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411308624385386,0.0,0.43705045533522224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041310021570012,0.10342282951630442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264335641625925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887968707634512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119717590899824,0.1094675850061185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517120790043015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901295669959168,0.0,0.0,0.1098932815148944,0.0,0.07848014449561684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153849700642306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049806580718638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610573481176375,0.10609582975662303,0.10188702638921332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222854562034065,0.09393970145384473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099861088138828,0.0,0.0,0.11820304264286825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725473365761607,0.1072532368515842,0.0,0.0,0.0901920331793437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405680561126829,0.0,0.0,0.08277226588283072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311233109711352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loveychutha,2018/03/10,"I suffocated my SO and lost him  
Okay I didn't actually suffocate him literally, just figuratively. 

Tonight I lost my SO of a little over a year, someone I was convinced was thee one. It was ugly and my fault.

I was too insecure on top of having severe depression and anxiety. My ex didn't know how to handle it when I'd have an episode of feeling like my world was collapsing... Which triggered a fear that he didn't love me enough b/C he wouldn't research how to comfort me when I'd feel like this... I just felt entitled to that reassurance. 

I was also convinced that no matter what, I wouldn't be good enough and he was going to cheat on me. That was the biggest problem and the cause of our unhealthy relationship. A huge part of me knew that he wouldn't and trusted him. But the huge anxiety part that had already taken over all other aspects of my life, and now took over my trust in him, too.

There were so many red flags that I chose to ignore because of the dependency I'd developed with him (the biggest red flag of all). Recently, I'd start a fight every day that stemmed from my insecurity and my anxiety causing me to be unable to let things go. I would never stop calling him when I'd have an anxiety attack. 

Tonight, he'd had enough of my attitude and consistent snooping of his phone and he decided it was over. I don't blame him. I basically suffocated him. I pushed him to his limit. His limit was my limit, too. 

Tonight left a hole in my heart shaped like him. But the pain of this heartbreak is only motivation for me to never feel like this ever again. Witnessing myself transform into such an unhealthy and self-deprecating person is probably the most painful thing of all, though. Tonight I not only lost him, but I'm now acknowledging that I lost myself throughout our relationship. 

Prior to us breaking up, I'd already begun to see a counselor and I'm determined to continue our sessions this time. I know this is going to be such a long and difficult journey, but it's going to be so worth it at the end. ",4.365426724137933,5.6470203375000025,5.689810344827587,78.83650000000003,70.625,8.817241379310344,30.54310344827586,9.223106411051027,2.6658068965517243,1605,67,310,33,29,539,187,400,0.151,0.7559999999999999,0.092,-0.9678,0,0,0,1,1,0,45.0,4,1,0,9,24,31,3,3,19,1,33,5,1,7,6,57,55,28,0,5,7,1,4,4,0,4,3,0,0,1,24,15,0,5,11,0,1,7,11,18,0,1,24,7,56,13,40,21,9,52,0,6,3,1,34,20,0,2,28,225,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.09020695623027074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204017078374698,0.07392329289925396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828617845680423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051625054146942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634984816659552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439037297995692,0.0,0.0,0.18992026816027974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059615393193734836,0.0,0.07961742230617437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187335937598944,0.28654204207194045,0.0,0.0,0.08361620710950073,0.07788369475016216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401937475503953,0.14021953828785225,0.19811493964030805,0.08875576587499827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014045215962468,0.07753329852323043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954044965395587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016039186458599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043505104146527,0.09452495885549747,0.06529227402236823,0.18064375749415645,0.09264798462386788,0.0,0.08180544896957383,0.0,0.0,0.4036315773622965,0.0,0.08342964629476983,0.0,0.0,0.09371845709612954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425890370597876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263893841342627,0.1406077798202683,0.19672284897208445,0.0,0.0,0.20020447318626816,0.0,0.0,0.08071401421341755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966468516105624,0.08845146892890518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127218524601784,0.1984894020503891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366177338123715,0.0,0.09643385195152797,0.1044295576800716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832311426878462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542867429526243,0.0,0.0,0.07728299468712517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228244922936345,0.0,0.09082067369896728,0.0,0.053901820731674994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270293298400804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119252169009383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566588725418701,0.0,0.0,0.05952757091844114
mentalhealth,davethecat666,2018/03/10,"I’ve given up on therapy. I’ve been in and out of psychiatric care for more or less 10 years, with no real progress with mood stability, treating symptoms, any and all things really considered. I’ve tried everything; medication, homeopathic medicine, dietary medicine, spirituality, counseling, artistic expression, etc. With any hope or tiny glimpse of progress, I always end up where I started.

At this point, I’m desperate for suggestions or advice.

I will edit any information into the post that will help with clarity. 

Thanks",7.577479935794543,10.148243955056182,7.532616372391653,63.70303370786519,64.50561797752809,11.827287319422153,39.68057784911717,11.491704259439757,5.694873515248796,428,24,63,15,7,137,67,89,0.046,0.7490000000000001,0.205,0.9382,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,15,9,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,4,15,5,4,13,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,4,3,36,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474871383700134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285944474913335,0.0,0.0,0.4483367347762948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240618289014503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946437498838081,0.0,0.24509252842960744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750775970998974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730172020300564,0.0,0.0,0.2182730803956252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213869205036469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774595973794172,0.0,0.21047108240814705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25013707102010474,0.14078505364720895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554855220086414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284166834690423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023271642939872,0.2513168015144873,0.0,0.1459999927926433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920385493251134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151941136102525
mentalhealth,Corvidove,2018/03/10,"Don’t feel connections to people like many others do I don’t really feel the need to hang out. Don’t check up on my friends either. 
It really rattled me when a friend said they were excited to see me after a year, because I can’t remember feeling the same way about anyone. I realized that most people feel a strong attachment to others. I feel really guilty that this doesn’t come naturally to me.
Keeping in touch is really hard for me to do as well because of this. It’s a miracle I still have friends.
I’m seeing a psychiatrist this summer, but this is really worrying me since it’s affecting my current friendships. It’s exhausting to pretend but I don’t want to lose anyone either.",3.8342446524064178,5.628150566176476,5.63034759358289,76.71679144385027,72.75,9.651336898395725,27.804812834224602,10.018931242160765,3.0429352941176475,551,21,101,16,11,189,79,136,0.113,0.7140000000000001,0.174,0.5022,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,4,9,0,0,7,0,12,1,0,1,0,19,25,4,0,2,4,0,7,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,12,2,0,1,7,1,1,2,6,2,1,0,2,10,14,7,17,23,4,13,0,1,2,0,5,4,0,1,7,71,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559687076097087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795978408956265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280280196732278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897619810172892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573313829228588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810499603726314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703234588723112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531910635177393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17247549365547624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630300288402454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143142391120802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21376251971089014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938225232574354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464323881499108,0.0,0.14664986822208426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457052054418717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753005503941306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311943231462168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093277439394888,0.12237204678070622,0.0,0.0,0.13861629932666786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565659374286211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927967635447063
mentalhealth,princess-kelly,2018/03/10,"i’m worried for my boyfriend in dealing with his schizophrenic mom i’m just really desperate for advice and we live on the east coast of america.
so my boyfriend lives with his mom and his grandparents. his mom is severely, severely schizophrenic. 
over the years she has had violent outbreaks, trying to stab multiple family members, tried to run away, almost killed herself on accident many times, puts herself into severe debt. she’s caused severe trauma to my boyfriend so i’m really biased. after these incidents she goes to the mental hospital for a while and comes home with a new prescription. 
now, when she takes her medication, she is stable enough. however, over the past couple months now she’s stopped taking her antipsychotics, so she’s been getting progressively worse psychotic. she told my boyfriend, (her son) but lies to her parents and doctor and says she’s taking them. he’s tried to tell his grandparents but they say they can’t do anything about it.
she spends all day every day running around the house on the verge of tears yelling at her hallucinations and delusions, as well as running in and out of my boyfriends room demanding ridiculous things over and over and over and over. she tells him completely inappropriate things, like childhood sexual abuse stories, that just make me want to cry when she blurts it out to him. it’s awful for him. 
she hasn’t been a direct danger to herself or anyone else physically recently, so his grandparents won’t try to get her involuntarily admitted. but there has to be some kind of rule for this right? she’s allowed to just legally traumatize him worse day after day??
i really want to help but i have no idea what could be done. please give any advice. ",6.599274475524473,8.251866439102567,6.203729603729607,75.8443006993007,65.69871794871796,10.031701631701633,31.48951048951049,10.230975488527342,3.3552384615384607,1387,54,238,34,22,430,178,312,0.204,0.737,0.059,-0.9935,7,0,0,0,2,0,35.0,1,0,3,1,15,8,4,0,9,1,16,4,0,3,1,39,31,24,1,3,8,5,0,1,0,1,4,3,2,0,9,19,0,1,2,0,2,5,4,5,1,0,5,3,45,3,47,22,3,45,0,0,0,0,52,21,0,3,20,159,54,2,0.0,0.10878607718962433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944163180311426,0.0,0.0,0.09193972682236498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062437529774607314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641993692251564,0.09407559086840676,0.07555614125250128,0.08173505325003305,0.0,0.0,0.08626346535407045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431957048789877,0.0,0.07909072230540835,0.09626656018228094,0.0,0.0,0.07330701931203057,0.10159184614994164,0.10085475905856356,0.2368530051044339,0.09465750828032253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939768159215408,0.0,0.09395889532195782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669987377516535,0.0,0.0,0.09486971417620474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735832207909928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655526201065762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593937453693484,0.08807757003028059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061541837826082565,0.0,0.09209819856931714,0.0,0.0,0.10594249031454364,0.0,0.1036482602102909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157998894073568,0.0956114712606672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485630149750491,0.0,0.1621491251009971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061287403419560176,0.09308626936684383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249422165385723,0.0925281935619392,0.0,0.0,0.32259879171277106,0.07328606983954927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867575662930287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019499879664267,0.0,0.08764806109343536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007855911309412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229970249008586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17645763256434954,0.0,0.09065649910130848,0.0,0.0,0.07840973601504543,0.0,0.14603037040683536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149004683718364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076761674101645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071009618199401,0.0,0.16050117987806925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199596673645274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053538220319242144,0.0,0.0,0.08773342190288759,0.0,0.2493461564638429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831004619649204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255295125283915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324286006179244,0.18713520134700065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912602141522831
mentalhealth,Monkeyballs1020,2018/03/10,How do I overcome and handle my paranoia? It’s something that for a while I could handle. Now it’s become so overwhelming that’s it’s putting a damper on my work and relationships with the people around me. I feel like the whole world is out to get me. I expect the worst to happen always. If I’m not stressed then it makes me feel more stressed because nothing should be easy. It feels like there’s a little voice telling me things like my boss is trying to get me fired or my girlfriend is getting ready to leave me and even situational things like driving I feel like there’s someone out there whose going to hit me and just stuff like that. I know none of this stuff is true but I’m seriously fucking stressing out about it constantly. I need some kind of healthy escape from these thoughts and have at least one day where I’m not worried out of my fucking mind. Someone please point me in the right direction.,5.185865561694293,6.0493806574585705,4.765428176795584,87.76188075506448,68.39226519337015,7.359300184162063,29.447974217311234,7.1686216300943375,1.4415189686924488,733,26,150,6,12,222,109,181,0.081,0.767,0.152,0.8455,0,0,1,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,11,16,2,4,7,0,9,2,0,3,1,33,28,12,0,5,6,0,5,6,1,1,0,1,0,0,16,11,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,8,0,1,1,6,20,8,20,23,6,21,0,1,0,2,4,13,2,3,11,100,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904548460481476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596513397902084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256177320395121,0.13146325100484946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863302611525554,0.0,0.09503863781967804,0.0,0.0,0.07676681980755576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862056526333999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407478438610933,0.2551128669591772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220089276507944,0.1865704175704868,0.0,0.06764953379067683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526101279973142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395516928428504,0.06541774948192397,0.0,0.0,0.1260393874431332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489228042792918,0.11930293100710633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945584735490913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018999583800598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826190062530108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421594242960414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066024294251282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252290536456347,0.0,0.0,0.13066313953053774,0.11252522004081113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966163783690638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779753134726496,0.0,0.10165403767068057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379874536649525,0.0,0.0,0.2017135534206381,0.09163787501952134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090577343669274,0.0,0.27252996992207673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404060652865396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816125941195447,0.0,0.0,0.09449937632335573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081599578830127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289675517549945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665787307795672,0.12088439128815193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrunkGallager,2018/03/10,"Is it appropriate to hug my therapist? I was first appointed to her when I was released from a Psychiatric hospital for anxiety and mood disorder I have known her for over 6 months now and me and her have really connected.

I don't have any emotional attraction to my therapist but I feel a deep appreciation and I plan to give her a hug at the end of the next session. I feel like asking for permission would make things weirder than it has to be and I'd rather just try to slowly get a genuine hug.

Is this a good idea or not? I feel a very good connection strictly as a therapist and a friend.
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mentalhealth,AccomplishedStruggle,2018/03/10,"I was in a small car accident yesterday, and the stress has made previous issues resurface. I'll try to keep this as short and to the point as possible- During the final semester at my community college, my father lost an immense amount of money in the stock market, which prompted my sick mother (breast cancer) to divorce him and move out, leaving me alone in the house with my father. He then attempted suicide three times, all of which I was the one who found him (he somehow kept manipulating his mother and sister to release him from the hospital). 

After his second attempt, I started having intense anxiety attacks and auditory hallucinations- to the point that I sometimes would end up balled up on the floor hyperventilating. The last attempt finally served as a wakeup call to his mother and sister, and they agreed to take care of him. Then I moved across the country (CA) to live with my boyfriend (met him online) and finish my degree. 

I never attended counseling for anything, I just kinda focused on school and my career. My father did better for a while, but unfortunately did end up passing away during my second semester, right after I visited for Christmas. 

I've been fine mentally for the most part, but whenever I became stressed (usually around finals week) I would have flashbacks to some of the events, but if I just went for a walk I would be fine. Fast forward to now, I'm graduating in June, I work part time at a great company, and I have a full time offer lined up. However, yesterday I got into a small car accident (distracted driver hit me), and all of the anxiety and memories have come back, and it's also weird because I keep going from feeling fine, being super productive, to just feeling useless and not being able to get out of bed and replaying all of the times I found my father in my head.",8.742181155648098,7.934652029498526,8.929831684886345,66.55753774076003,61.153392330383475,11.752281797674826,37.64029151483602,10.966923227221727,4.2469523165018215,1454,60,242,32,17,481,192,339,0.101,0.8140000000000001,0.085,-0.5714,1,1,0,0,2,1,45.0,0,0,1,7,8,14,1,3,23,0,16,4,2,2,4,50,36,26,1,4,8,9,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,6,22,0,3,4,1,1,12,2,7,0,4,13,2,39,7,52,16,9,66,0,2,0,1,26,28,0,5,28,179,45,7,0.10731479121738327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111457592535502,0.0,0.08581959976477524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419104309559548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831092935910073,0.09553291624043928,0.0,0.12208606747604918,0.1008257789356382,0.08251845029943065,0.0,0.06541810066623649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491121198776943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095804003459038,0.0,0.10941458180203513,0.0,0.0,0.09244219033276722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009810460204574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852316577640353,0.0,0.0,0.3526743248192685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353302589708856,0.0,0.0,0.0560675491564167,0.0,0.060989468919173014,0.0,0.08582944192928815,0.11831493617165899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013593610705102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382686070518653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120087607728783,0.0,0.19077263450164209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747587795655176,0.0,0.11363086886659343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476092674306666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714677154894022,0.0,0.0,0.10154385021298704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814806883885304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281172794097585,0.0,0.0,0.08276778273387203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271927985752512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23242292227672945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289432981274924,0.1209813027539246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091646245341588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860829797525903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613707254609824,0.0,0.075957961569863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24585746152136145,0.0,0.0,0.11738496369638805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068736750491952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503044710461861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285969890869967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819208120644342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608145238616569,0.0,0.0,0.09948188659940042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812644611924979,0.0,0.0,0.22870004600715196,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Summerdaze13_,2018/03/10,"Processing disorders and anxiety control my life I've suffered from anxiety, depression and learning disorders ever since I can remember. My anxiety is mostly under control compared to how it used to be, and my depression has also lessened some. My main problem as of recently has been my lack of ability to process simple things. Someone will say something to me, and it will come out as a totally different sentence in my head. It takes me a really long time to understand what someone has said to me, especially if they're telling me or showing me how to do something. I usually have to ask people to repeat themselves to me at least three times before actually understanding what they said. I'm also fairly positive I have dyscalculia (severe diffulty understanding mathematics) as I have never understood even the most basic type of math. I was always told by every teacher I've ever had that i have an attitude and need to cooperate and try harder. What they fail to realize is that I cannot comprehend what they are trying to teach me, no matter how many different ways it is taught. All of my teachers told me to stop faking disorders to get out of doing schoolwork. Already struggling from extreme anxiety at the time, I dropped out of school when i was 16. I hardly ever attended any school I went to, and was almost put in juvenile hall several times for not attending, as missing school is illegal in California until a certain age. I attempted adult ed a couple times and also filled out my GED until it came to the math section, resulting in me having a panic attack and quitting the test. Multiple people have told me I'm stupid because of my lack of education. It is extremely debilitating to not be able to get a job because I can't understand what is said to me and instantly forget instructions as soon as they are given to me. I also cannot cook, because I have to look at the recipe every 10 seconds because I can't remember more than a few words out of a sentence at a time. I've literally spent 15 minutes trying to process instructions for a microwave burrito that cooks in under 2 minutes. I've been told that math is one of the simplest concepts and that all it is is basic common sense. I've been told It's not possible to be smart if I can't understand math. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has similar problems and what they do to help cope....",9.225052034058656,7.632004788079474,9.780473036896883,63.362516556291396,60.721854304635755,13.48508356985178,42.321980447808265,12.374306866263185,5.455274865972879,1911,94,321,55,21,651,217,453,0.124,0.833,0.043,-0.9879,3,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,5,5,14,14,2,2,17,0,43,4,1,7,8,67,76,32,0,8,8,0,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,20,19,2,3,11,3,1,7,10,12,0,3,21,6,44,2,65,50,13,48,0,5,1,0,18,18,0,10,21,240,64,16,0.06988938186024983,0.0,0.06820195503106691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699841204327469,0.0,0.07712467079235938,0.2235620536932144,0.058153564429377184,0.0,0.0,0.0475271762739934,0.0,0.21386074330976304,0.0,0.0,0.048868280805754935,0.07160993086086535,0.0,0.0,0.06533713766627812,0.07950926142479134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041567396887486,0.0,0.05947071636686785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993483410435583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020351404381365,0.0,0.0,0.15677376914206614,0.0,0.07733127171107823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039124437263747,0.0,0.0,0.14603905769459954,0.2402978596317969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838361053463464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04616127757623634,0.18965684140565853,0.11776963704316665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302863488824263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769910335176469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260715847317762,0.0,0.07172666887577117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684537945598338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935442738776539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936493728246806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184990365573239,0.05868947867200142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085686363405211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182209108423324,0.0539029998343487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735885389992442,0.0,0.0,0.08200013110445857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690499497610114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878977697484357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374939934613728,0.0,0.07025813234634885,0.0,0.07433596046243382,0.0,0.0,0.04477292763957762,0.0,0.06900733306914546,0.0,0.15834209105380934,0.0,0.19944241996951406,0.055578841609656406,0.0,0.2121953569757808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579102165608914,0.0,0.05781321889174301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843409290114636,0.10760852128457137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843065267453016,0.0,0.07306355653201146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254811731801772,0.0,0.06108640024505914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046431399806576436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445183635893949,0.0,0.0,0.3339114970556502,0.0,0.14235090787079024,0.0,0.0,0.3637865564897637,0.0,0.06036198633516314,0.07697328022156869,0.0,0.0,0.05547493823771305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478815717620608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579205334601137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silent_woof,2018/03/10,"A reason to fight please Well.. I’m not so sure to what the deal is with my brain but it has been a mess since I’ve been by myself at my dads house. I’m used to barely feel a thing. Many emotions stripped away, wondering if I exist. (You know the feeling you get when you wonder why you exist, how small we are, what else is out there etc? Like that, but constant) Been like that for the last five years. I know when I feel frustrated, when I enjoy chocolate or stuff like that but it’s sort of... empty? Even if I’m sad it’s hollow. If I have anxiety my body reacts but it’s still.. hollow... it’s weird to explain. What I’ve also had for five years are hallucinations, mostly either incoherent or they don’t make any sense. They rarely appear, but they do so when I’m stressed as fuck or if I have anxiety. If it’s really bad i have a creature following me around and to keep it at bay I either draw symbols or do some other weird shit. I can remember those moments vaguely, like looking through a fog. The only time a can keep this shit from happening is when I’m with people. My brain is occupied with other shit. I basically have to be calm, composed and problem-free since everyone around me expects that from me. 

Recently I started to feel shit again, I’ve been more irritated, frustrated and anxious than I’ve been for years. Sometimes I hear incoherent speech when no one is talking. I’ve asked my mother a couple of times but she didn’t say a thing. I’ve been feeling so depressed and I’ve had more and more suicidal thought so I sought a psychologist, but I haven’t been able to see that person yet. 
But now, when I don’t have to act like the happiest, most composed, mentally healthy little shit I go downhill - and fast. I’ve made a plan on how to take my life, I’ve had a blackout and came to when I almost stabbed myself in the leg with a knife, I’ve hallucinated at work, I have no energy and either I sleep too much or I wake up early as fuck. I’ve had awful nightmares. I’ve realised that I can’t be by myself at night. I have to have someone around me so I can be able to shove all of my problems aside in order to function relatively normal. 

I used to be in therapy, but it kinda abruptly ended. What I did get from that was a diagnose, which was ptsd (a wierd presentation as far as I know). I’ve been bullied, so it stems from then and when I had social phobia. 

I’m trying really hard to find more than one reason to live. It was my mother and my dog. Now? I’m wavering since she took in a refugee and started dating. I feel left out and that she doesn’t need me. My dog? Mom can handle the dog. 

I’m afraid that I’ll try something before my appointment. Please tell me reasons to be alive. ",1.3961213517665136,3.5058578888888903,3.1623796722990285,90.13737903225807,81.22222222222223,6.136251920122888,21.79224270353303,7.310402129719878,0.7048995391705062,2114,66,454,30,56,703,249,558,0.204,0.7170000000000001,0.078,-0.9978,2,0,1,0,1,0,73.0,1,4,3,2,30,28,10,2,22,1,50,15,11,10,2,86,95,54,1,9,23,4,7,5,0,0,2,3,0,1,31,23,0,2,18,0,0,6,9,19,1,4,22,12,59,9,57,68,13,60,0,2,2,2,25,20,7,19,38,298,90,1,0.1500717752308277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513760253532759,0.0,0.0,0.06000617221632695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102697666870713,0.0,0.11480449728707105,0.08476919488915878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003935455291418,0.07014842582014709,0.0,0.07049868644505745,0.0,0.062651831907751,0.0,0.0,0.06385001370645257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334795551073268,0.0,0.16752973287353015,0.0,0.08582106564348647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108713752482072,0.0,0.0,0.08302578244106329,0.0,0.0,0.07735870531672306,0.06462830005199276,0.07615984643661927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268285570787957,0.08440527401297858,0.06645952459585887,0.0,0.08368484953229806,0.0495604960896704,0.0,0.0,0.07170000620884814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276423961270705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858144189076693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387389379765311,0.0784063085740057,0.0,0.04264462413454837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663539876084861,0.0,0.06721741675305422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457089878477296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658133979706997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339068920671646,0.0,0.0,0.12371328442632197,0.061164263313072925,0.0,0.0,0.0815267114461912,0.0,0.05300006649759752,0.1832937223990354,0.07520567202562392,0.06625806348559929,0.0,0.06301124732574341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100077115356572,0.0500870376465051,0.07607461269376911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561852608721956,0.0,0.0,0.08788112468843644,0.0,0.0,0.05516001113721387,0.055638159890549724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041609745663707,0.07351923823565848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169251878447877,0.0570681737781161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052020436573174296,0.06551844279667192,0.0,0.16473374349514736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359842125995287,0.08771293718475026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613982202029434,0.23144816903424054,0.07408888662328941,0.0,0.08500103329616708,0.0,0.0,0.059671549551778474,0.0,0.0,0.05979388750036557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851163017127156,0.18621138490481315,0.0,0.0750900776360639,0.07648963793176802,0.06357766407588124,0.05776629220813302,0.07421241151432252,0.0,0.10622157492356794,0.0,0.05992375677747695,0.0,0.08595335574365591,0.0,0.08589813914082302,0.08207708223388724,0.0,0.07072043606427368,0.0,0.056417649155357186,0.06031100415636391,0.06558467311649595,0.0,0.08581007693067512,0.0,0.09970101909555404,0.0,0.0,0.05957011317665764,0.08750805898234315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336763206908587,0.1018888844116858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296138298073726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746627441408952,0.0,0.06770821748719301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627464386044988,0.05462701985712959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449619544283441
mentalhealth,canthardlie,2018/03/10,"Not sure if it’s hearing voices or.. Lately I’ve been assigning feelings to inanimate objects and virtual things. Things with our faces. It’s not conscious, but it’s real. 

Example: I’ve been playing Wordscapes a lot lately, and annoyingly - the words to come have feelings. Like “this word is scared to come in” then “this next word here is angry” and “this one wants to be found” 

There is more, like my pencils are unhappy, or my pillow is sad. 

It’s aggravating, and I can’t shake these notions. What gives? Am I going insane? 

...Edit...

I also, when I’m falling asleep can hear definite voices in my head. Fleeting voices. Very random, quick phrases that zoom across my brain and disappear. It’s almost always the opposite gender which is how I’m sure they’re voices and not thoughts. They are not controllable. 


Have been on lithium for 6 months and Vyvanse for 3",2.5453801169590657,5.3373482098765415,3.5414359974009137,84.858567251462,82.33333333333333,6.1265756985055235,24.57569850552307,7.475848149327749,1.5238716049382717,678,26,120,11,19,217,106,162,0.189,0.743,0.067,-0.9652,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,1,1,6,9,1,2,3,0,16,4,4,2,2,35,29,15,0,2,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,14,10,0,1,5,1,0,6,5,4,0,1,5,8,9,5,11,23,2,17,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,6,9,78,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645399915004674,0.0,0.0,0.1329330056065849,0.13831556793518454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18556616841898133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863825568861394,0.0,0.0,0.1864395856814432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810041813455634,0.11875379351154003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226115433374476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946168510250733,0.09447158266872736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059857016502167,0.0,0.374703579551147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37502635544588997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624218611344328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413216689953295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268213674760634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176786074059923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264084735308852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920461607686986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642389532301655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31333710438788165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086988122874104,0.0,0.0,0.13196699433434125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715605983385587,0.09804597512218637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,besaeriq,2018/03/10,"Changing vs sticking with a therapy approach Hello, I had a question about choosing your therapist.

I am trying to change therapists. My previous therapist had recommended the change due to a lack of progress during my time with her and the cost. 

I have only seen my new therapist twice so far. For the most part, I like her and find her easy to talk to. I haven't really learned much about her style of therapy since the first two meetings had more of an introduction feel.

There was one aspect that puts me off a bit. She has a list of words and phrases that she says you should avoid saying. Words like can't, should, shouldn’t, but, I don’t remember. I don’t remember the whole list, but it was probably 10 items long.

I can understand the basis for this idea, how it can help to change your thought patterns if you use some of the words or phrases to guilt yourself. I could even understand using something similar for myself, finding words and phrases that have a negative impact on me and working to change how I think.

I suppose that I feel like having a generic list like that makes it harder to communicate when I already have trouble identifying my feelings. Not saying that I feel like I should do something doesn’t change the fact that I feel that. But, there also may be more to the technique than I know. I don’t want to balk at it due to discomfort. I know that good therapy isn’t always easy and comfortable. 

Does anyone have experience with this approach to therapy? Does this look like it might be a bad therapist-patient match, or should I try it and see how it works? Is there more to the technique than I am aware of?

Thanks for any advice!",5.2567585227272735,6.401081340625005,5.422727272727271,82.09136363636367,68.40625,8.943181818181818,30.48295454545455,9.218907990703514,2.5402500000000003,1319,51,254,25,22,416,159,320,0.07,0.792,0.139,0.9665,0,1,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,0,4,12,14,0,3,19,0,34,0,0,6,1,61,53,19,0,9,8,0,5,6,0,7,0,3,0,0,19,10,0,1,19,0,1,3,10,5,0,4,7,11,38,9,33,36,11,14,0,0,3,0,18,4,0,8,13,182,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432001001337198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839285207593885,0.060821110390597975,0.0632838051598782,0.0,0.0,0.05171996923378951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317938446860448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350270053715754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303229963210362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4827362706248476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060723683289933286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311238618265026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050233572520102895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439632799390837,0.0,0.0,0.1922783217270662,0.10866733286454593,0.0,0.0,0.13902567998995888,0.0646922956114126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379127773508822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097802508276556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858567731389045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359561526160786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22293962061926864,0.0,0.0,0.06730623119172621,0.06386699714209665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050767264988238144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068227559553813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590913405421773,0.0,0.0,0.07345433781904283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051536797653007636,0.05784321127226018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236009170308765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200009199381822,0.0,0.0,0.07645622417010793,0.08519894208330117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048722743944978525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231084865014662,0.0,0.0,0.181445829741458,0.0,0.0,0.06060594265589935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291343472941502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710162156587095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061130082224507484,0.0,0.07002117315459055,0.34790182201998565,0.4415282534332308,0.0,0.04873293647145216,0.0,0.06037912927417328,0.04434824884550717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327262775631424,0.0,0.07429462803617946,0.15835175564269566,0.0,0.13137410302464606,0.0,0.0,0.044859175861174765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491262771304071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107378085394976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrGoalden,2018/03/10,"Hi guys I have an important question. So my girlfriend cried for weeks when her pet fish died, but when someone was murdered in front of her she said she felt nothing. She also says she's had thoughts of murdering people (bad people). Just thoughts tho she doesn't act on them. 

She was abused as a child by her parents and other family members so could that be why she feels nothing for people but cares very much about her pets?

Also what condition/diagnosis could she have? Please tell me anything I should know or that could help.

Thank you.",2.6619579288025896,5.470342825242717,2.536140776699032,92.16757686084145,81.9126213592233,5.375080906148868,23.14644012944984,6.816661863887847,0.7532401294498383,433,15,83,5,12,129,77,103,0.171,0.706,0.123,-0.8377,1,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,1,1,0,9,5,2,0,2,0,11,0,0,0,0,15,19,12,3,4,4,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,4,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,7,4,18,2,9,7,1,7,0,0,0,0,24,2,0,2,3,57,22,0,0.0,0.18981678176270605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562318336986973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318351019309124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376452105986572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333972079428632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837320780168736,0.0,0.1759777196173735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626754391113635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510270588289753,0.0,0.08100448452886237,0.0,0.15382196699812178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586281822525855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738206489004204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804450317534719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177691417274176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074421234468551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788874382152495,0.0,0.0,0.3331980201527791,0.0,0.0,0.17585703107191206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17946631538782346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523916846706065,0.12740148218565026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574121500129915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400262709191523,0.14749528148953556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25436982178877976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218594040566956,0.0,0.0,0.1285068239237325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456013508634713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shroums,2018/03/10,"Can someone please help me get an idea of what is wrong with me?? Basically i suffer from anxiety and depression, but i also have this weird disconnection from myself. Like it’s kinda like i have no real personality and that everything i do is fake. I’ve been told repeatedly that i have one of the strongest personalities of anyone, but it all just feels fake to me. This often comes along with negative thoughts of myself as well as being disassociated with myself. I try to avoid mirrors because i feel like shit every time i look in one. I feel in a way disconnected and disassociated from “me.” Every action i do feels completely fake and non genuine and it is eating me up inside. Does anyone have any idea what this is or if it is normal? ",6.0949452269170585,6.837127492957747,7.515446009389674,69.28252738654149,66.32394366197181,9.973082942097028,29.158059467918626,9.994966539143718,2.8059317683881067,592,19,107,13,9,204,85,142,0.23,0.657,0.113,-0.9665,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,13,1,1,3,0,14,2,1,0,1,28,23,12,0,2,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,1,7,0,0,2,2,9,1,2,3,5,18,4,18,19,1,8,0,2,1,0,4,3,1,4,5,82,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577217345123148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695189383405426,0.0,0.12031438277479566,0.0,0.0,0.21993964675952335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958729325980977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547785387734618,0.1648990753085837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546009458316716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763176975851155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093083736506675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26502070405575834,0.0,0.14134796889961393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31809037718465105,0.1123567668343255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216931256746182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541762509324326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35508700495078743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305087859593969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207077264421033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540953878884769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131462254440228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27465164489980576,0.0,0.1726399151528031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901254607467448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614397736395836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332579749454535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485819925246824,0.09170788909039293,0.0,0.0,0.150282300708059,0.0,0.10677890265005334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483699159079199,0.0,0.0,0.1414084527359417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195472020493802,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_LaughNoww,2018/03/10,Help with treatment options!?! I’m a 22f and I’m in serious need of treatment and/or therapy. I haven’t felt like myself in over 2 years and the bad thoughts just keep getting worse and more in depth.. I often especially lately want to check in to a facility but I can’t because I can’t lose my job and I just moved into my new apt. Things like this are what make the bad thoughts get deeper. What options do I have?!,0.7789534883720961,3.1159224767441884,2.445395348837213,92.84786046511627,85.86046511627906,5.300465116279072,22.55348837209302,6.742157984588678,0.5730362790697674,327,12,71,4,10,107,57,86,0.174,0.731,0.095,-0.8337,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,19,17,5,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,3,1,9,2,10,14,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,3,5,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37334921636085616,0.1362883847489251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146657065072285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336159452364791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985666401020206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186228915989334,0.1987224785321916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522007466267732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21845352494179188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250121658235972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923710676723168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376233429849578,0.0,0.16577698338878802,0.0,0.2159287654782372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25567588370842864,0.0,0.14853235817793686,0.0,0.0,0.3549849125845137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186949541274656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278405876664741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397406119917125
mentalhealth,duhduhderek,2018/03/10,"I feel like literally everything and anything doesn’t make sense. I’m in serious need of help. 
As of late I feel like everything in reality doesn’t make sense to me. My brain is overthinking every little detail. 
Example: I understand how water is literally the fundamental of life but WHY is it? Why is it we were created to utilize water? Getting a bit philosophical but it even goes to why do the things I feel, feel that way. I understand because the texture is different but I feel like my brain is over analyzing it and it seriously drives me mad.
It’s really overwhelming. Is there anyone that has gone through this or has advice?",2.833964285714284,5.6877146583333325,4.961190476190473,74.76000000000003,81.58333333333334,9.428571428571429,27.73809523809524,9.606745405546679,3.494059523809524,509,23,90,18,14,175,72,120,0.062,0.841,0.097,0.4836,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,3,7,1,1,4,0,13,5,2,3,0,18,26,8,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,3,2,0,7,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,5,11,3,11,24,1,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369494334058233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282033918897822,0.0,0.12100910281760804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963993162684859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605398275501665,0.0,0.0,0.3283114601025667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536352947086811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712472261201888,0.0,0.12389543715557952,0.0,0.2643169855014264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717629012862328,0.3151562998202022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682722704696503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856409363460507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587809537483286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386531942061412,0.2155226845871845,0.14738210087976886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963131938418378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903524525330743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420359240145018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769306794539476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30616716212585043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672094602144364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39806755546390665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PrettyInPeach13,2018/03/11,"Should I get help or is this normal? My mind feels cloudy and my thoughts keep changing. I keep having suicidal thoughts that come and go. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do it because all of my student debt will get transferred to my parents even if I die. I don’t want to be a burden to them in life, definitely not after death. It kills me to think that they can be in a worse place because of me. Then it hits me that at this point it doesn’t matter and killing myself is the way to go. I feel depressed and every day keeps getting harder. I’ve been in college for four years and I’ve never been more miserable in my life. I hate the career I chose, the amount of debt I have, my lack of friends and social life. I’m ruining my relationship and my boyfriend no longer wants to help me. I cut my arm today and it felt cathartic. The last time I self-harmed was in middle school. 

I don’t know if I’m just going through a phase or if depression is actually something I might be suffering from. I can’t stop crying and when I do, I feel numb. I look up at the clock and hours are flying by. It’s 7 pm and last time I checked it was noon. I feel like shit for not being productive...then I don’t care again. ",2.0112410948631414,3.4667840236220497,3.2499775028121505,93.30479002624674,76.8740157480315,6.255418072740908,23.11886014248219,6.868970318607317,0.4819301087364081,938,28,216,9,21,304,142,254,0.223,0.6759999999999999,0.102,-0.9874,3,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,2,0,4,16,5,1,8,0,26,6,2,0,2,44,54,18,5,8,8,1,6,2,1,3,4,0,0,0,12,12,0,4,10,0,3,4,10,12,0,1,7,7,37,4,24,39,4,32,0,5,1,0,8,11,1,6,18,136,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.11140237983610164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391801131863307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639235719435916,0.0,0.12076472024436502,0.09833757310801372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539792219768878,0.07362288845766839,0.0,0.1966493647936076,0.0,0.1184786607117228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540071506638094,0.0,0.09618359058084494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28861023062181257,0.16310993208902708,0.1096102114055444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819869378110094,0.0,0.1789295567632804,0.0,0.19463698351591968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270803761485886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303628036306555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112423279806452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30440837389479075,0.2525992758088074,0.0,0.06273861136013016,0.18610908098941825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24190090260118516,0.11154430505344773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958645187285742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110429276460165,0.11526769872051165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804619250454206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185124386314693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675967677088776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927149719380735,0.0,0.10791682844889501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256367294010274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553465364497348,0.0,0.0,0.11909237439226995,0.0,0.11718221900087512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637037258038956,0.0,0.08788491001676141,0.11290582896620185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954417473861894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248710400275254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314825669150878,0.0,0.18125844107687974,0.13313365970755345,0.0,0.10820905685487936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466746510483635,0.09061382680491924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163374224380118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351443107390118
mentalhealth,RainingGlitter28,2018/03/11,"When you feel like you're going downhill, what do you do? When you recognise signs of yourself starting to go downhill (mentally) - what do you guys to to counteract that?

*Can* you counteract it? Or can you only postpone it until later?





",3.1339534883720934,6.0558479767441895,3.954697674418604,82.02693023255813,80.86046511627906,6.2306976744186064,29.53023255813953,7.554174236665415,2.3461758139534887,185,9,30,3,5,59,27,43,0.042,0.882,0.076,0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,9,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,5,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21815297234704986,0.3082263960972821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4904034574147506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272011563024147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107836028834504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347979070090673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281354953538077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053809750450821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UndyingFoxymoron,2018/03/11,"I think I have... Well to put it blankly I seem to match all the required characteristics for all these

Kleptomania
Depression/Suicidal tendencies 
Pyromania
And Sociopathy 

I’ve been stealing from stores and stuff because idk, just feels like I need to. Gives me a burst of energy, a sort of high. Makes me feel alive.

Depression is well, my father died a few years ago, unlike most people I didn’t grow up in an abusive household or anything of those sorts. However my father had died of diabetes a few years ago and ever since I have felt empty. Moreover I have very little friends and if i told any of my problems to them they’d just call me attention seeking so I refrain from that as much as possible. I have several cuts on my wrists and attempted suicide once, but my mom walked in and stopped me. 

I also had my best friend commit suicide recently and I get bullied a lot. By people in school, usually taking my lunch money and assaulting me. I tried telling a teacher and stuff but they said they didn’t have any proof.

I also feel the want to burn things. A lot of things. Very intently. I throw matches at stacks of logs, and watch them burn often. But nothing more. 

I often do really bad things, tell lies, make up things for my own benefit just the usual things that you hate people doing. And I don’t feel any remorse for them. None at all. I just laugh in the back of my head


I’m lost, I don’t know what to do, my mom ordered me a psychologist but I don’t let them help me. I know they can help but something in me is telling me they can’t over and over. Recently I’ve stopped going to said psychiatrist and I’m thinking about trying suicide again. Life is just hard for me right now 





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mentalhealth,pvmpkinbvtt,2018/03/11,"My significant other is... A decent guy overall. He's a good dad for the most part, but he refuses to take any part in discipline because for lack of a better explanation, he doesn't want to be the bad guy. Our kids are 2 and 1. One boy and one girl. His eldest is 14. He disappeared out of her life for nearly 8 years prior to me meeting him: 1) because he had a drinking problem, any reason in the world was a reason to get shit faced. 2) the amount in child support he paid/still pays is outrageous. Let's just say that it's the equivalent of one months rent for a three bedroom apartment in the Midwest, because it's a bit too personal to fully disclose. 3) he lacks motivation of any kind. He also smokes weed on a daily basis. Which, I had nothing against when we met (I smoked back then too, but not as much), so long as he was still following pursuit, but that was my mistake I guess... Because when duty calls, he lets it ring until it goes to voicemail. He spends $120 a month on weed alone, then claims I didn't do my part when I didn't pay rent in full (because I already pay for our groceries, electricity, internet, cable, diapers and household items). He spends his money carelessly, then blames me if he finds out I bought our 2 year old a new pair of shoes from Payless or Walmart that never exceed $10 mind you, for not having money. He is the absolute worst at financial planning: now, obviously this starts fights and it is a daily battle. 

Back to the point, my significant other of nearly 5 years is an arrogant jerkface that blames me every time he smokes up his stash, because I stress him out and he can't even get high around me because all I do is bitch. Which, is probably true. But in my defense, a few days ago, I asked him to pick up diapers and wipes and he came home with a bunch of laundry detergent because ""it was on sale,"" (WHICH WE DIDNT EVEN NEED) the one brand of baby wipes I have repeatedly told him to quit buying because our kids break out in a rash everytime we use them, and, you guessed it, no diapers because he ""couldn't remember what size."" I was furious!!! I ended up having to go to the store, return the wipes he bought, go to another store because he went to a CONVENIENCE store for wipes. After I looked at the receipt, I noticed he also bought a new piece, RAW rolling cones, and an ashtray. Back to the point, he either has a worse memory than our two year old or genuinely doesn't give two fucks. 

To add, he is 37. I am in my early twenties, and since we have been together he uses me as an excuse to his idiot junkie friends as the reason for why he is always broke and why he can't hang out. I don't care so much if he hangs out with his buddies. I really couldn't care less because my brain feels much more at ease when he isn't around. 

My head feels like it's going to explode every minute I'm around him. For example, yesterday he said something positive to me: he says, ""babe I think we should buy a house,"" and I'm hoping he means like full on mortgage, like he's saying he wants to work on his absolute shit credit to move forward and eventually buy a house. So I just say, ""yeah me too babe. Not now, but once I'm done with school and the kids are starting kindergarten and pre-K I would like that. Let's work on it."" He replied to me, all snarky and sarcastic: ""why can't we just go buy a house? How hard can it be? Save like ten thousand and show up. The worst they can say is no."" Now, I was trying really hard to keep a straight face when saying this, but I did end up laughing a little bit. But I said, ""Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money but not nearly enough for a house.... to buy a house you have to either have a good $200,000 cash or get a mortgage if you have decent credit."" He blew up on me for A) laughing at him, B) turning down his idea, C) making the remark about credit, because my credit is fabulous (not trying to brag or sound full of myself) and his is slightly less than impressive.

He constantly either blows up on me for having a realistic outlook on the future, saying literally anything about my schooling (despite having good grades, despite the fact that I dropped out close to 3 years ago because I knew we couldn't rely on just his income once I became pregnant, despite HAVING TWO KIDS and going back to college), I'm not allowed to comment on anything he says even if it was aimed directly at my feelings because I am ""a heartless bitch and everybody knows it."" I am reminded on a daily basis that just because I got a scholarship and went back so I could get my degree doesn't make me better than him. I'm reminded that without him, I couldn't be in college right now, because I dont work. This is after him repeatedly telling me that I should just quit my job, because my boss would sexualy harass me on a daily basis, and I ""shouldn't have to deal with that."" He reminds me that I would be ""stripping or selling myself on a street corner to feed the kids"" without him in the picture. 

He uses his money as a control, the emotional and mental jabs to break me down, including but not limited to using our own kids to manipulate my feelings. He uses my empathy and understanding to get me to do pretty much anything.


Oh, and if I ever decide I don't want to have sex he asks me who I'm cheating him with. When in actuality, I have zero energy to be bouncing on top of a pork sword after getting up at 7 am, feesing our kids breakfast, making sure they dont murder each other, going to my first class at noon once he gets home from work, then coming home at 10 at night to find out my kids haven't eaten the entire time I was gone because -I- didn't make them any dinner, finishing up whatever classwork I've been procrastinating, and finally faceplanting on my pillow if I actually make it to bed. The next day I wake up and do it all over again. 

Of some of his most colorful adult tantrums, we have the time he destroyed my laptop by snapping it in half, ripped my textbooks to shreds, and proceeded to slam me into the wall when I demanded $1200 to replace them. Or the time he humiliated me in front of his entire family when his dad asked me how school was going, by undermining everything I said good with the things I didn't do at home for him or the kids. Or when I told him that I would be eligible for a membership to the freaking LEGENDARY Mensa Society, he told me not to, because it's unfair to our kids, because ""how would it make them feel if they weren't that smart."" Anytime I say anything negative about being intelligent (I am schizophrenic), he follows up with a sarcastic ""what did I tell you about listening to the voices?"" 

Being with him is emotionally draining, mentally exhausting, and the lack of rest is physically turning me into a pale, sickly looking zombie. I've lost over 40lbs since I've been with him, simply due to lack of adequate support. I lose my appetite very easily, with stress being one of the number one triggers. I won't eat for days before I realize it. I'm on 4 different medications, Zoloft, Clonodine, Seroquel and Xanax, that he mocks anytime I say anything about his substance abuse. Because it's ""not fair that [I] get to take my drug of choice with a glass of water and a banana everyday, and if [he] does it, then it's a problem"" when he knows that without my medication I would probably lose all of my marbles in a matter of 2-3 days. To add, my medications are half the cost of what he spends on weed in a month. It's also pretty hurtful that he thinks that the meds I take give me the equivalent to his idea of a high. My meds do the minimum to help me feel like a human being and not as much like a paranoid, manic freak.

Now, I know it might seem strange as to why I'm still with somebody who treats me like garbage, but anytime I try to leave with our kids, he says he'll call the police and tell them that I'm clinically insane and he absolutely can not allow our kids to be alone with me. This is the most hurtful thing I think anybody has used against me or my illness... because despite what schizophrenia has done to my psyche over the years, I take utmost pride in being the best mom I can be, even if it means I eat second, postpone my personal goals, give my littles all the small luxuries I can that time and the tiny amount of money I do have can buy. Never has my illness gotten in the way with my ability to raise my kids. Since they day I had them, I've loved them and I read to them every night. The only thing schizophrenia has not allowed me to do is breastfeed. The medication I take isn't safe for growing babies to ingest, but I get guilted about that, too. 

I will never live up to his expectations, and I know I can be a smart ass and sometimes I might make a snide comment or two about the absurd things he does, but I can't help it. If I hold my tongue and dont speak out at all, he demands to go through my phone to make sure I'm not talking to any other guy, and I let him, every time he asks. He uses the kids to get to me. Even if it means using his 14 year old to force a reaction out of me, if I've ignored him for a few days. He will give her my clothes, jewelry and things that he know I would want, just so I have to be the bad guy and ask for them back. Even if it means driving drunk in my car with our two kids and claiming that he had no choice because I was ""going crazy"" and he needed to protect the kids. Even if it means, calling our kids HIS kids in an argument. Even if it means undermining everything I do for the sole sake of making me feel inferior to him or embarrassed in front of new people.

Please help me. I need advice and I'm not allowed to talk to any of my friends or family. My mom does what she can, but she isn't very much help. She's the definition of a ""dumb blonde..."" I love my mom to death and I want her help, but overall, she isn't very helpful, because she is in a physically abusive relationship, pops pills and drinks more liquor than water in a given day. That being said, I have no support system and dropping out of college is not an option. I can only handle so much. 

Thoughts, opinions and any advice is welcome.

Thanks for reading.",6.073109277252763,5.3181126242069325,6.774489950752032,79.67004585385334,66.48657881893607,9.676384932783176,32.194866675540176,8.944786921046934,2.4792408589555874,7913,278,1627,114,110,2622,666,2049,0.135,0.7559999999999999,0.109,-0.9963,10,2,7,0,2,0,276.0,20,5,13,20,66,86,19,4,111,1,154,42,10,33,15,300,292,126,2,47,69,5,9,8,2,16,16,20,9,31,76,96,13,11,36,7,36,26,55,42,0,21,49,33,243,44,258,202,51,229,0,7,4,5,240,107,7,40,100,1085,319,31,0.0,0.06298948711968533,0.05187944006318712,0.0,0.0,0.05195028926126044,0.04712581082957015,0.0,0.0,0.05506085707898669,0.029333358068274237,0.0637716735522664,0.02211794631767001,0.0,0.0,0.12653437164881948,0.027873031672271432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937159214643223,0.07098954043924464,0.12425062140498205,0.0,0.0,0.12263724577970228,0.04438890227790558,0.40509605532333415,0.0,0.022618907800108685,0.0,0.027895655549486698,0.04701837221274871,0.058040250305931324,0.0,0.0,0.029673756994513155,0.08142808330194429,0.03040216686595517,0.05420324348332276,0.0,0.0,0.02289761779560833,0.0,0.02872516983129953,0.029813424541792505,0.0212231733509832,0.0,0.0,0.12000012765644627,0.02740437035987524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027772021113984708,0.0,0.0,0.069784977476467,0.054404228735502234,0.0934599977776438,0.05207952163332631,0.03082611336157398,0.05439904309155396,0.0,0.059801243568082,0.047086657371253546,0.027465806257237803,0.0,0.14045469706348584,0.024044498264495787,0.08958427692375033,0.0,0.04777949569497996,0.0,0.05011736522181818,0.0,0.0940828735278087,0.03797967313612517,0.0,0.02911874569741567,0.0485900384628736,0.0226102194374245,0.0,0.0,0.0410736184846313,0.024574178329886728,0.1388774223867616,0.10199762885621706,0.13596196600893526,0.08918124015556432,0.021259662388274037,0.0,0.0585650617634371,0.10527949899929737,0.0,0.0,0.047623624924771686,0.0,0.02728029876253261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690215791982388,0.05616965099921692,0.10665369029560937,0.02640143789896195,0.0,0.1533574723322179,0.05691211399065998,0.0600145801756753,0.0,0.0,0.026378047793067436,0.023626868072659197,0.0,0.02768055293955561,0.07304251561982075,0.0,0.0,0.028145981783037444,0.0,0.10872558264577402,0.018775307128675502,0.10389106762214577,0.053283313905409344,0.02347196095970554,0.0235238005139284,0.04464354855688316,0.059475822412296965,0.029016858982475625,0.022598649848489725,0.04798170246863924,0.0,0.15969028331675095,0.0,0.0,0.17373034685172428,0.05905213206976349,0.10711230212585772,0.05357582153107922,0.05639756446064515,0.026839748288098854,0.09339583226260377,0.06365132475772735,0.028251939172449333,0.1367832821980531,0.059129560152539326,0.06150389929126492,0.07701776607350491,0.02826973820908813,0.04988989425554916,0.0,0.025505676441076947,0.030263226133328755,0.08367847202094184,0.08492532416351843,0.10807391758388114,0.040432873419331467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635555727433655,0.0,0.01842827260742031,0.04641989972430824,0.0,0.029178516490333494,0.05025623906383876,0.0,0.0,0.05408590525129391,0.05731872880214034,0.05086983169107448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654541726250504,0.05317740810429962,0.0,0.03405759284866273,0.08199066048689678,0.0,0.02853859465827835,0.030111669887483112,0.022700464914129168,0.10114041518948856,0.2325255264919989,0.0,0.08070572389674945,0.0,0.024198809025799045,0.0,0.0,0.05457107753058129,0.06596550105465164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020463745605709304,0.026289793787413845,0.0,0.037629060200745364,0.0,0.04245605759201,0.0,0.060898061435473765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049315007235746,0.0501055185446149,0.0,0.09992993974995362,0.042730422850540635,0.06970023598471241,0.024472683730392974,0.0,0.0,0.08829787292086802,0.0510970762608964,0.0,0.021102750326405826,0.09299935597451864,0.0,0.0,0.07619931784954008,0.0,0.05414130276367392,0.057826101176115585,0.12983136763379174,0.027672290104597454,0.0,0.1836631252428793,0.0,0.06579759054967538,0.07839231862288756,0.021099165940341957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928265348839736,0.09594271573337224,0.0,0.0,0.0768708833057301,0.0,0.07740662554741175,0.0,0.027088830343472658,0.13217919787207533,0.0,0.0,0.11982334975259055
mentalhealth,Drokrath,2018/03/11,"What should I do? My girlfriend is depressed, and has been for a long time, though we've only been dating for a little over 9 months now.  Recently, it has gotten worse.  Admittedly, it has been worse in the past, but in her words during those times she's ""always had something going on in her life"" and that now she is in love with me and her life is going well so she ""shouldn't"" be depressed.  She is constantly saying that she is tired of always being sad, and ""just wants it to stop"".  Up until about three weeks ago, I did not think she was suicidal anymore, but one night she told me that she almost took an entire handful of muscle relaxers (left over from when she hurt her back) and that she cut herself.  To my knowledge she has not tried anything since (I made her promise not to) though for the past three days she has been very depressed, especially later in the day.  We have a very close relationship and are often on the phone, even though I am an hour and a half away at college.  It may be worth noting that she also has fairly frequent anger issues.  
I am of the opinion that she would benefit greatly from seeing a therapist, and have gotten her to agree with me.  However, she does not feel like her parents would understand her need to see someone, and does not want them to know she is depressed. Right now she is living at home and getting her Associates at a community college before going to a larger private University, about 2 hours from me and about 2 hours from her current home.  She does not believe that there are any options for her for therapy or counseling, however I disagree.  I'm confident that there is something out there that can be done to get her help, and I promised her I would search around and try to find something.  It kills me to see her in this condition.  Does anyone know what we should do?
PS - I am 19 and a freshman, she is 20 and a sophomore.  We live in Missouri, so I don't have much hope for government help.  
Also, I think I should expound upon her parents.  They are very irrational, especially her mother.  They are the type of people that don't think they need to see the doctor for anything.  For example, my girlfriend has never been to a dentist in her life.  The only doctor she goes to regularly is her gyno.  Her mother has had chronic knee problems for years, but refuses to see a doctor about them.  Her mother is also very quick to jump to anger and shouting.  Her dad is not as bad, but still a little irrational.  To be clear, my girlfriend does not subscribe to the belief that she does not need to see a doctor, however she feels guilty asking her parents for anything, as they often guilt trip her, and doctors (especially therapy) costs money.  
Let me know if I left out any important information, and thank you in advance! ",6.4374537876042055,6.518501342696631,6.50783979702791,79.08563791228708,65.53558052434457,9.212419958922316,31.458016189440627,8.841846274778883,2.4514657001328977,2183,76,412,31,31,696,236,534,0.141,0.773,0.086,-0.9879,7,0,3,0,0,0,69.0,3,1,6,1,28,23,4,1,24,0,59,15,2,1,2,83,95,36,2,15,16,7,3,1,3,8,12,2,2,0,20,27,0,2,14,1,3,7,13,13,1,4,15,11,79,10,68,66,1,66,1,6,6,1,77,28,0,9,32,312,99,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055243777006711584,0.0,0.06240544619777536,0.0,0.0,0.14951416436343345,0.10371207393236698,0.0,0.0,0.08476078926358993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180565311299852,0.043576269155685916,0.0,0.1538545372324567,0.05547887343544355,0.05826169142566905,0.0,0.05855259997006619,0.0479209767733769,0.05203540429005485,0.0,0.0,0.053030552754352304,0.07021438854452132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734682538955925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038373605016302,0.0,0.2147078302027025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31894075241059633,0.3272249891313752,0.06377598661072481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041162410935387694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302270689371207,0.044522111271629666,0.0,0.0,0.05696023479146602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512026610086133,0.0,0.10625532518694604,0.0,0.0,0.06870908612137086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354486101069362,0.0,0.12502602246869954,0.061898782101447475,0.18412079665384665,0.0,0.06671588411817356,0.0,0.0,0.06504689804443486,0.0,0.0,0.06894891635755497,0.0,0.10274992087466472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354238259716829,0.06372741112434158,0.1320574261098861,0.03044687651881068,0.12492396246356098,0.11006111125452143,0.05515209466173896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056247105883569286,0.05896960582607293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04974400127656107,0.0,0.04581308148172048,0.13863062207609414,0.04806577171022265,0.0,0.0,0.05848400578420601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422303001132972,0.09479580737596904,0.0,0.0,0.2076001759672956,0.0,0.11898482951713885,0.04320551157092972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059632748781211824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061534436447435274,0.06690939557893395,0.0,0.053221765295460736,0.0,0.04956013433274715,0.0,0.0,0.2979704518204823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515525479031482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280435309340874,0.14393317535296704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976960474333972,0.05210311895375447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816902278734521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737677332054681,0.14253891416368875,0.07235944606619199,0.0,0.11979827771496596,0.18369010094735905,0.0,0.07267971405032213,0.07162878377307094,0.0,0.05955035466752698,0.06924088741422321,0.08462369146414088,0.0,0.0,0.06487832450594919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056852981932851,0.07351704202529281,0.0,0.049990120578457566,0.0,0.05603403377334623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270207791886683,0.13281308062634056,0.0,0.0,0.04013265946988846
mentalhealth,moonlmj,2018/03/11,"Have you ever correctly self-diagnosed yourself with a mental illness? For those who are well educated and familiar with all the criteria and symptoms that fall into different disorders, have you ever self-diagnosed yourself with something and were later professionally diagnosed with what you thought it was?

Edit: I suffer from depression and anxiety and take medications for it. I've taken several psychology classes throughout high school and college and plan to get a degree in psychology. I also spend a lot of time researching and reading outside of my classwork. Lately I've been seeing some symptoms of BPD or BP1 in myself. I'm struggling to see a new psychiatrist and I don't know where I should go from here.",7.6247619047619075,9.618454492063492,8.131904761904764,61.69642857142858,63.60317460317461,11.314285714285715,39.39682539682539,11.20814326018867,5.395958730158732,590,32,82,18,9,195,88,126,0.12,0.863,0.017,-0.9129,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,6,4,0,1,5,0,8,5,0,0,4,24,17,11,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,14,0,0,2,1,1,2,1,3,1,0,5,2,9,1,16,11,3,13,0,2,2,0,4,5,0,3,6,63,15,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053139416662327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530102324077228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982761052170646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981563096214369,0.4589354127152932,0.0,0.15747118919264325,0.17273913026654295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27267124129788195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874541347024991,0.0,0.08565812166986064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592448331916406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283222707535297,0.0,0.1700196624038478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813746076254634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183538068487035,0.15189114781825436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556711786511511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507616182847753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525375276615438,0.24020997696968055,0.0,0.31446939563193393,0.17027163814979165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603225932462273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756613765339608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133133069505457,0.1133233075388267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965550420315715,0.08788652867185455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551612799167398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,user3957573,2018/03/11,Not Sure What's Wrong Every time that I start to get close to someone I freak out and doubting everything im doing and how they respond to me. Usually it ends with me just shutting them out completely amd assuming they're mad. What's wrong with me?,3.66,5.351617599999997,4.388999999999999,85.85950000000003,73.0,8.200000000000001,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.2222000000000004,200,8,40,4,4,64,37,50,0.251,0.7020000000000001,0.047,-0.8752,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,0,2,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,13,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,7,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,4,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876828663627696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430197944147691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23117751159478794,0.0,0.2465956147510297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335255259757826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963781603528696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232481814262852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942080195225091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25860049312380284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999354970445895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302191495663492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5999842837273882,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2ndMew,2018/03/11,"I think my girlfriend has depression I think my girlfriend has depression. I’ve spent about an hour doing research and everything thing I’ve found seems to show that. Sometimes she can’t manage to will herself to move and she struggles a lot with managing to be happy.

I’ve tried to encourage her to go get help or to go get therapy but she won’t do it. She feels happier when with me, it’s like I’m her medicine. But we can only see each other on school days and a few hours on Saturday. She feels happier when we’re alone which only happens a couple hours on a Saturday and Wednesday. 

She gets sad if she doesn’t do anything like homework or drawing, which is her only hobby, but a lot of the time she can’t do that since she physically cannot will herself to. 

Does anyone have any advice on what I should do and how I can help her?",3.9565789473684214,4.920212684210528,4.941769005847956,85.01335526315792,71.28070175438597,8.273099415204678,28.285087719298247,8.59863814320734,1.952863157894736,663,24,137,11,12,217,96,171,0.07400000000000001,0.7809999999999999,0.145,0.926,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,7,0,20,0,0,1,0,25,35,14,0,2,6,0,2,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,9,9,0,0,6,1,1,3,5,4,0,0,2,3,23,4,16,28,4,17,0,3,1,0,21,4,0,6,12,93,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123855477567074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969533354157805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828919164984322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106268022372496,0.0,0.11894051662034112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992593672970631,0.0,0.09321353077063424,0.0,0.2489766701662921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648411271604915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989931366756785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461631249540255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847586919042714,0.0,0.0,0.2265417194914847,0.0,0.16428587026072589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781238926078542,0.15386087658393674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375838584285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42701547322201655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122562601393815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457580652481379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361851166062554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297776021104365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627778423557067,0.1151761921183308,0.1315798184263427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956137513379372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294944388899247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110003315142514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165289100933532,0.0,0.09602305695270852,0.1852252042475254,0.0,0.0,0.08427989410448483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813021210279207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LoKoKoco43,2018/03/11,"Coming off antidepressants Im trying to stay strong 
My head is buzzing 
Im having a hard time for the past month 
The symptoms of dizziness have increased the last month 
Is it normal ? 
I have been on anti depressants for 8 years
They say the withdrawal symptoms last a few weeks but i noticed the first few weeks easier then i how i feel now 
Some help please
",0.7976666666666681,3.234479957142857,1.6878571428571445,93.35130952380956,99.42857142857143,4.61904761904762,18.69047619047619,6.42735559955562,0.25761904761904786,287,9,56,4,12,89,51,70,0.065,0.726,0.209,0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,7,0,6,3,1,1,0,6,8,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,3,6,1,6,7,4,17,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,12,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025637357446934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023536615516856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406705387195244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582449233413088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665466021488062,0.0,0.1909299818319992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469821321181287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.401908711101283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032937001188905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969895695391405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18227900236680555,0.0,0.21180696245709726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759555118776546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20421527168300208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794590889414375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982931277015109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38673210682269576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848100492573214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630846461777478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984589902461545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980320193943868
mentalhealth,spooky_noodles,2018/03/11,"How do I seek treatment without my family finding out? Hi, I’m in a bit of a pickle and I don’t know what to do about it. For context, I am a 20-year-old college student living in a large city the midwestern US. My mother also lives in the Midwest, but in a different state. 

I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression— or what I believe is anxiety and depression— since I was a young child, and it only got worse in my teens. I was never able to seek treatment despite being dangerously suicidal around age 16 because my family bought into the mental health stigma HARD. Talking about how all mentally ill people are bad and those who seek therapy are weak. Trivializing mental illness like there’s no tomorrow. I know that if I would have gotten help, my parents would have laughed in my face or spread nasty rumors about me behind my back. 

As I’ve gotten older, I realize just how much I need treatment for these issues. I’m having daily panic attacks, mostly related to social interactions or things I only slightly feared before (like mild claustrophobia that has become so severe over the last few months I have to be within a few feet of an open door at all times), I have basically no self-worth, and I feel shitty all the time. I just want to talk to a professional about it and try to feel better again, and maybe even get an official explanation of what the fuck is happening to me and what I can do about it. 

Here’s the problem. I’m currently on my mother’s insurance plan and will not be able to get my own insurance until I graduate college and get a job, likely not for another 3-4 years (in my state you can stay on your parent’s plan until you’re 26). I can’t wait that long to seek treatment. If I seek treatment now, my mother will find out when they bill our insurance and will confront me about it. I have no idea what to do. I can’t afford the normal therapy rates without my insurance. My friend goes to a psychiatrist at a practice that uses a sliding pay scale for people who are uninsured, but I don’t think I can use it because I technically am insured. I don’t really know how else to explain this, but I figured someone might have advice. ",6.406619718309858,6.203538124413147,7.315129107981223,74.23142605633804,65.64319248826291,10.292488262910801,33.00821596244131,9.928628108626363,3.1674948356807517,1715,65,319,34,24,577,225,426,0.179,0.758,0.064,-0.9944,6,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,2,2,1,3,22,16,4,2,22,0,38,7,2,6,4,62,62,30,1,8,14,5,3,3,1,6,4,0,1,1,21,17,0,1,12,0,3,1,13,10,0,0,6,3,47,6,50,47,9,40,0,1,0,1,22,18,1,7,21,227,68,7,0.1912547581785431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344596809634163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647318050846999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002736448798823,0.146309366519292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512864157115649,0.0,0.10878994893072497,0.0,0.07353155179380946,0.07984486718124871,0.11658712542315397,0.10561292714249272,0.08137185631569539,0.10773930949588836,0.0,0.084574645727927,0.1044003306914436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999102578981627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988440459181273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316098200517213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029796477314536,0.1076073874693507,0.09670415229757223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480338410310267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388147587040099,0.0884059710489739,0.14988407609887427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648195078502049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456297551437354,0.0,0.0856633485325156,0.0,0.0,0.10164743223405087,0.0,0.0,0.06409701646489971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795167118719956,0.0,0.09981013899612874,0.0948954181994462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766292002634447,0.0779490771740235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015612129257218,0.0,0.16888145542125546,0.08462722127587724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607055548852432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891097189671579,0.10144553734430836,0.0,0.0,0.07632886165064326,0.0,0.07029712665787459,0.07090648990457413,0.07375372999456914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369452789243192,0.0,0.0,0.100344848097577,0.0,0.0,0.1454578618642555,0.0,0.11219812529141744,0.21236577548260532,0.0,0.0,0.13259196810115345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915024870287908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126134772357405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976021194654727,0.10803171911959553,0.0,0.07910395616871436,0.0,0.0,0.09748007034169824,0.08102476797976535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192606248151248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460083177198196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372333002243338,0.0,0.0,0.2187164839946157,0.0,0.06353058150989838,0.06127416325607338,0.0,0.0,0.11152218752393188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649247132555927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150279627557598,0.16518270433114515,0.0,0.0,0.056403505806811485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436276194215415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745246896752087,0.13586189284295155,0.0,0.0,0.12316179373342387
mentalhealth,ascfgdxz,2018/03/11,"Abilitity to control anger is getting worse and more common. Why is this happening and what can I do? With negative things in life, my reaction was usually depression or sadness and seldom ever anger. I've noticed a trend over the past year that the same things now result more often in anger. And my anger is less controlled where I turn crazy and cannot see things clearly at all. I get so angry I want to quit my job, stop talking to anyone and run away. The concerning part is how crazy I become when angry and that it completely ruins my entire day. The other day I ripped my hair out and punched a concrete floor. This is so not like me at all and it kind of scares me.

If it matters, I am male age 21. Only changes in life have been finishing school and worked my first year in a serious full time job. Live alone with no family unless I fly to see them. Loneliness is an issue.

Why might this be happening and what can I do? Thank you. ",2.9843617021276607,4.825223978723408,3.9935638297872345,87.35875000000001,75.17021276595744,7.465957446808512,23.98404255319149,8.278499904357787,1.3879510638297878,740,23,151,13,16,239,118,188,0.28800000000000003,0.688,0.024,-0.9953,2,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,6,8,12,4,1,8,0,17,3,1,4,4,32,26,18,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,14,14,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,2,3,19,3,17,22,8,28,0,3,2,0,4,12,0,4,16,108,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888316920059465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376314535201392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598774626889522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809866129820828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185594524888542,0.0,0.14059726106113646,0.0,0.30080046731906995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729618453631639,0.0,0.1154968167397868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129764402399053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641391513402628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406211593421825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011940659633498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371615636062239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996154040282646,0.2661394732428947,0.0,0.0,0.13964050403194594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18943215162846566,0.06551260499949355,0.0,0.11840935642393488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225482317234886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266935455078484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198616400590513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521306191727065,0.1280099476258671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262776080512185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425363852652564,0.135712461956165,0.21371453871549606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211038508827233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778140518683343,0.0,0.12345771771932462,0.0,0.0,0.26726256892070605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819254292165542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458581035586191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768796328898698,0.0,0.07909338305948352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242001834509179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762359363318963,0.0,0.13665543210276354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727070470303
mentalhealth,WildHuntsman,2018/03/11,"Help for Emotional Deprivation Disorder I have been diagnosed with EDD for some time and I'm not really sure where to go from here. Does anyone else have this or has suffered from it? I know that a big part of treatment is to feel unconditional love, but I don't trust anyone to any substantial extent. Thanks for any and all help.",3.405677083333334,5.771646546875001,4.42625,82.32708333333336,75.71875,8.641666666666666,23.166666666666664,9.2995712137729,1.9892479166666672,265,8,52,7,6,86,51,64,0.15,0.6409999999999999,0.209,0.655,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,2,11,12,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,3,4,10,11,4,4,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,2,1,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329098231722694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33838460563671763,0.2479286954082177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24559627501832906,0.0,0.0,0.27732063663838824,0.0,0.21175114545736567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021363827483316,0.2721856970489067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234820827705345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375181454143006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243771827399453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298136856001982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21838898913785065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620318703350776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550133257474405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280555499742485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22277511577935544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109569757361054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hawkgirl1991,2018/03/11,"Proper Diagnosis I was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, and an Eating Disorder back in 2010 but I think that’s a misdiagnosis. How can I get re assessed?",3.958448275862069,7.287158551724138,7.175431034482759,56.531422413793145,84.17241379310346,12.555172413793105,34.836206896551715,10.686352973137794,6.443406896551722,134,8,19,7,4,49,27,29,0.209,0.7909999999999999,0.0,-0.5499,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,5,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125017303421899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31411163505081396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518408437401249,0.4146193634649413,0.0,0.0,0.4681769128221492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179979482264882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134246277639493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261750597358617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dwightuignorentslut,2018/03/11,"Anxiety metal taste in my mouth? Ever since I started getting panic attacks a couple months ago (I assume they’re panic attacks) because I even went to the hospital and had heart scans and they said my heart was fine. But I have symptoms of my throat tightening, I get heart pains and I feel like I’m just gonna faint or have a seizure or something. But one of the biggest most noticeable thing I have is the really strong taste of metal in my mouth when it is happening. Do other people experience this? And how do people cope when they’re having these panic attacks? 

I keep saying I’m gonna go to the doctors I guess I just hope they’ll go away but it’s been months and doesn’t seem to be happening. ",3.566024327784888,5.053960992957748,4.568489116517288,85.30128681177979,72.8732394366197,7.417157490396925,25.585147247119078,8.00094639256281,1.4614985915492955,559,18,111,8,11,182,85,142,0.107,0.838,0.056,-0.695,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,7,11,3,3,6,0,14,12,6,1,1,21,32,13,0,1,7,0,1,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,6,5,2,1,3,0,0,3,1,7,0,1,5,6,16,4,9,23,1,14,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,7,8,69,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782638560826936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305415050501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151486615819853,0.11428464100077855,0.0,0.0,0.07415052210373789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459217779157487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245035383856482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034197215635591,0.11003020620700202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898711185292912,0.0,0.0,0.06150476183745315,0.08689953146190174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271035997891947,0.0,0.13826145721532598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400000597791475,0.0,0.2151314311002341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43243141539469626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081581508704685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811908559967777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059427085292987715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941835317557334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848777276655402,0.0,0.0,0.0824263088278,0.0,0.12943337414050168,0.4281544573239965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865950894283074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792560116727101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570735035458835,0.09673288911276272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073634882222257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006217389628936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364429750187772,0.0,0.0,0.08609731023951826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643037676828167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081210976623805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276135742378113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Joyxxfu,2018/03/11,"Food issues/anxiety - anyone else? Hi, 
I'm 19, and a female at university, sorry this ended up quite long.

I've had problems with anxiety/depression my whole life; i remember being aware there was something wrong with me when I was a child, I didn't like being around other people, I was always unmotivated and uncomfortable. However I don't think it's anxiety or depression in the traditional way, as I don't have panic attacks, and Im not tired all the time. 

As I've gotten older I've turned to other things to try and control these feelings; developing an eating disorders, not eating gluten, bieng vegan, exercising more, trying to 'fake it till you make it', but nothing has ever shifted it. I constantly feel like i am acting, all the time, I am constantly aware of how I look, feel and come across to other people, even my thoughts. Its like I feel I have an audience inside my head. Even if I'm home alone, I can't 'act naturally'. 

My parents found out after they found some CBT worksheets I had printed out and took me to see a GP,  and I then saw a child counsellor, who diagnosed me with social anxiety. However more recently shes been discussing the possibility of my being the autistic spectrum. I honestly don't know about the likelihood of this. I always though it was just me having low self esteem and bieng shy, but I've tried so hard, I've had a part time job in retail for 1 and 3/4 years, I had a public speaking positon at my last school, I try to spend time on hobbies. 

I constantly feel so uncomfortable and am planning my behaviour and thoughts all the time, and I mean it when I say I literally can't stop. Alcohol doesn't really help me, as I feel just as bad. Its like nothing comes naturally to me, everything in my head i have to process manually. Its almost like I have too much empty space in my head, that I am constantly aware of. Time passes so slowly, and everything feels like so much effort, and everyone pisses me off. I feel I have no emotional attachment to my friends or family. Everything I do, e.g. hanging out with people, doing tasks, school, is because I know that's what I'm meant to do, but I get no feeling of reward or happiness from it. I can't control it, there's nothing else there in my head.

Recently I have found that cutting carbs out of my diet, and eating a lot of dairy and protein makes me feel immeasurably better. It feels like I function normally, there is no barrier in my mind. It feels unreal, and people respond to me so much better, I can just connect and communicate without effort. However i find it makes me a bit slow mentally. I can't emphasize how it  makes me feel enough. Aswell as this - I'm not the kind of person that can stick to such a rigourous diet like this. I coundnt give up going out to eat, baking or drinking etc. 

I often have mood swings related to food, I often also find that when I force myself to not eat for a while, after the hunger pains subside, I suddenly get a burst of feeling and like I can function normally. I've read that  your body releases chemicals when you starve your self of food, as an evolutionary thing so you can go get food, so idk if it's that. 

It pains me so much to see others doing so naturally and without effort what is so mechanical for me, and I'm trying so hard. I can't keep living like this. Everything I do is for the purpose of making me feel better, I feel as though I my personality isnt real. I don't think anything is ever going to change, and noone believes what I say, and interprets what I say as that I have low self esteem, and just need to believe in myself, i find everyday so hard, i can't mask that I'm different.

.

Thank you for reading if you got this far :), I was wondering if anyone has any idea to what i am going through? Or can relate to it? Is there something wrong with me, or does everyone feel like this? 

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mentalhealth,WritingAnalysis,2018/03/11,"I’m depressed again, how do I get through it This always happens. For a month or so I will be the happiest person ever, literally overwhelmed by the euphoric feelings. Literally barely need to sleep and still have so much energy I can’t sit still. Then I crash and get so depressed it’s hard to function and I literally cannot stop crying. And it goes on for two weeks and then I’m suddenly better.

I thought it wouldn’t happen again. I want to die. I feel hopeless and I hate myself. Logically I know that I just have to wait two weeks and I will be on top of the world and go on all these crazy adventures.

But do I seriously have to do this for the rest of my life? This happens 7 times a year so if we assume a life expectancy of 75 years we have to keep rising and crashing... 406 times more. 😱😢

I’m not sure how to manage this.",0.5418965517241361,2.7971120977011523,2.722540229885059,91.03898275862068,86.06896551724138,5.778850574712644,20.768965517241377,7.1686216300943375,0.5696399999999997,651,21,143,10,20,220,100,174,0.152,0.711,0.13699999999999998,-0.5866,0,0,0,0,0,2,17.0,2,0,0,2,12,9,1,1,7,0,14,3,1,2,3,34,32,20,1,5,5,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,10,11,0,3,6,0,0,2,4,6,0,2,1,3,17,3,18,26,4,24,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,3,16,99,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131726200794239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400119036858042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389557175816744,0.0,0.0,0.2727035115681934,0.0,0.16430028571866326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320002232103066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009209782635994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542037822462746,0.0,0.08997094726026672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199777515305837,0.0,0.14181423286976427,0.15629787399410486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071277338220606,0.0,0.0,0.08700277087991795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22363738850650688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636114681764551,0.0,0.1163757109745846,0.1173845015816541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822976473741647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584238471289598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25285237096488383,0.13235384558569574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920484709365864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568007385866825,0.1846231059443265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30929079140872284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933750553087721,0.0,0.25397269233437003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20389227827744752
mentalhealth,1th4row2aw5ay3,2018/03/11,"I have no idea what to do - perfectly fucked, suicidal and homicidal thoughts I had incredibly strong anxiety between the ages of 14 and 19. No talking treatment seemed to work. Depersonalisation/derealisation/dissociation started hitting me at 16 and completely transformed me at 19. Couldn't feel anything at all, keep track of time properly, everything felt permanently fake. I could just about function so pushed suicidal thoughts deep down as knew my parents would not be able to handle me killing myself. 

Then I took MDMA, stupidly (because drinking etc seemed to have no effect on my depersonalised mental state). Had a couple of months of incredibly weird symptoms - felt out of body all the time, couldn't think, minor hallucinations, absolutely piss-poor time perception, people and places felt alien, huge problems concentrating and with memory. I suspect brain damage of some kind. Had to drop out of uni to move home. A huge trouble with the MDMA is that it re-awoke some of my empathetic systems quite violently. I started having this feeling of despair at how much I loved my parents and imagining them trying to cope with my suicide. They're very fragile, sensitive oldish people and I'm their only child. We've always been very close. I began having these disgusting intrusive thoughts of killing them before I killed myself so that they wouldn't have to live in that hell.

 After a year I got a prescription for an SSRI - bad mistake. It dissociated me way more and sent my mood into an insane rollercoaster. Yesterday I went to the ER because I hadn't slept in two days and was acutely suicidal, but also seriously feeling that I could act on thoughts of hurting my parents. They sent me home with zopiclone, which knocked me out.

Now the thoughts are coming again strongly, but I feel very dis-inhibited and calm, which concerns me on a rational level. This state of being is unbearable and I've lost the ability to go to the shops, go out with friends, think clearly, remember a film, hold a job etc. So then I think naturally of suicide. Then I see my parents - who, by the way, are already distraught for me - finding my body and howling, and being as depressed as I am now until they're in a home with nobody looking after them. Then I think of snapping and I get homicidal thoughts as the only way to 'save' them from this pain that I can feel now so viscerally in my heart. I don't want to hurt my parents in any way. If I go back to the ER they'll only give me more drugs to further dissociate me. I feel so hopeless. What on earth should I do?
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mentalhealth,UnderTheSea545,2018/03/11,"Weaning off Effexor 100 mg So I've decided to get off of one of my medications, Effexor (Venlafaxine). My doctor told me to take one pill a day (instead of my usual two) and then a month later take one pill every other day. Right now I'm still in the one pill a day phase. I'm starting to feel really sick every time I take that pill. Would it be a totally terrible idea to just stop taking it? I feel like it gets out of my system a little and then I take it again and it makes me sick. Any advice? ",0.9770754716981144,2.7640057641509443,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,80.98113207547169,7.258867924528303,20.033962264150947,8.238735603445708,0.9591124528301892,385,10,85,8,10,136,63,106,0.124,0.852,0.024,-0.8919,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,0,2,8,0,1,1,13,16,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,2,9,1,12,13,1,21,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,15,53,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620797960861232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174745947600636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894796401975203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314350686483771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25212441200952385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130581891574532,0.1068893235127604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634166915456849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689039780012896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309729797665766,0.14995962070168392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987322718134507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072748879501582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194261119565922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055484416101868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585108979265937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777557770967032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590256463931648,0.0,0.11948758112697487,0.12508991552295365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5624821267028529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872452501246291,0.0,0.0,0.14296934587226096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615804625145692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16478647216339842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628651649202296,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ireallyneedhelp8,2018/03/11,"I am attracted to children. Should I just end my life? I am an underage female, who was abused by my grandmother sexually when I was around 3 or so- and the abuse continued till I was 11.

My grandmother died when I was 11, hence it stopped. I thought it won't be a problem, my worst nightmare was over. But only after a few years when I am in my teens, I realize that I am attracted to young children, and I mean around 5 years old or so.

I really don't know what to do apart from ending my life. Child abuse is the worst thing that is possible to children. Please help me.

P.S. I found this out because I felt aroused after seeing my neighbour. It was the worst moment of my life, and though I did nothing wrong so far, I don't trust my brain and body.

EDIT: I mentioned that I was male to avoid perverts possibly, but this seems like a friendly place and maybe my real gender is relevant so I changed it to female now.

Also, I have decided with all the comments that I will try to get the best therapy I can, and make the best out of this experience and get my head fixed",2.9693956486704285,4.321076479452053,4.25146924523234,87.52653505237714,74.15981735159819,7.892667203867849,26.58098307816277,8.4952907291091,1.6933129734085417,835,30,180,15,17,275,122,219,0.112,0.754,0.134,0.8342,0,1,0,0,3,1,26.0,0,0,0,2,13,13,0,1,10,0,24,7,4,1,1,32,34,21,1,2,5,0,1,1,2,3,3,0,0,5,14,12,0,2,8,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,11,2,34,7,21,19,7,25,0,0,1,1,11,9,0,3,17,132,48,1,0.0,0.4429180280319723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996484587637068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218539329163696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595948856097022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615354680411209,0.0,0.0,0.13841068345117155,0.0,0.13910302108389214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181806187626444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932276410786905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073026662227507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188990590047162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964260423151735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662553584022852,0.09627133529326708,0.0,0.1302044026168601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788309800613135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352168511379968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848094491144596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264041585013278,0.0608768607078621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317637871518785,0.0,0.12518483896382873,0.13573394220295845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195641201886936,0.0,0.1307544604698942,0.0,0.0,0.09476951039215528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018816725078786,0.13678145963458735,0.0,0.2809521459362997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923241252474365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183045284357135,0.07982666396051802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929593094892833,0.11343785833196722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041773304080382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424993729263455,0.0,0.08278359144644502,0.0,0.12242609606579018,0.09892432306852564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460021629254526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623858422237298,0.0,0.16048610561907958
mentalhealth,Last_Afternoon,2018/03/11,"I was molested as a child. how do I deal with that? I just had a flashback, I was molested as a child by my father.. I am freaking out. where can I post to ask for help?? how do you get help for this?",-2.2940000000000005,-0.5382613999999961,0.9705555555555564,101.4625,96.33333333333334,4.777777777777779,16.38888888888889,6.42735559955562,-0.5147777777777778,147,4,40,2,6,52,30,45,0.208,0.674,0.117,-0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,0,5,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,8,0,8,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,0,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4212926558336712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645956631770395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354436438669889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6041162814738149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43159376376238745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idiotbich24,2018/03/11,"i have some strange behavior at night? plz help ok, for starters: i’m female, 21, slightly overweight. professionally diagnosed with BPD, MDD and PTSD. i take effexor and buspirone. i dont have any particular physical health problems besides some mild anemia. now onto the issue.


when i am laying in bed, i have this compulsion to start touching my hair, face, different parts of my body until eventually i will sit up and rock back and forth, and grab my hair, hug myself or grab my face, just weird things all while wide eyed and staring into space in the dark. it feels like i am in a trance when i am doing this and i know it’s weird but i can’t/don’t want to stop. the only thing that helps is sleeping pills (like, diphenhydramine) because then i am just physically unable to move that much.

is this normal behavior? i can’t find anything about it online because all results show sleep disorders, and i am pretty sure i’m awake when this is happening. its not life ruining but honestly it freaks me out and i would probably benefit from sleeping normally instead of doing all that.

even if it’s normal and i’m being silly, it would at least put my mind at ease to have some advice or something
",3.1721796338672767,5.739682232456143,4.061174675819984,83.6022082379863,77.55263157894737,7.298550724637683,25.702517162471395,8.321376580360154,1.932987185354691,951,36,175,19,23,305,147,228,0.052000000000000005,0.795,0.153,0.9733,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,0,4,1,20,15,9,1,4,41,29,21,0,8,8,0,6,2,0,3,5,0,1,0,16,13,1,1,3,2,0,2,3,5,0,0,0,8,21,8,21,25,9,27,0,1,2,1,2,12,0,6,14,118,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030904479991698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068324650014968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097365031341648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025386806098278,0.0,0.16257905246587182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812288887768793,0.16795090465805612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534844857976727,0.0,0.1393234030065406,0.15283178837039751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628636799511625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807707171735042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742626766459534,0.0952659744259037,0.0,0.0,0.1218803896749402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792184070859002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417458673778994,0.0,0.0,0.1787647163429114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918378865231815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073286217078291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418974841347846,0.1302971165088459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464648654807168,0.0,0.0,0.14173099937106712,0.09802832175190487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514087136098734,0.3919669734724477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141943747978284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440612800687086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566589812408533,0.14377492224903113,0.1275988886887601,0.1558801720826778,0.13405457747950406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003418856772583,0.0,0.0,0.10266010760779272,0.0,0.0,0.09438651759604716,0.0,0.0,0.11148739931659812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568173062362809,0.0,0.10026334929719134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718494571329135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865386934056409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945743558267866,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,exquency,2018/03/11,"lacks of basic things? I was living in a village with my family, I graduated from high school then decide to go collage, Im feeling so much lack of basic things. For example movies and any topic for talk. Fortunetly god created internet but even though it takes so much time. Im telling myself If I would be in better collage maybe I had not to see these kind of things Im gonna try to change my collage. My family supporting me about it but still whatever I think or do it looks kinda paradox I found this community please give me advices?",2.361673746813935,4.786820766355142,4.084010195412066,83.10761257434156,79.65420560747663,7.629226847918438,24.68054375531011,8.575989854853784,1.9932691588785048,430,16,82,10,11,144,77,107,0.028,0.828,0.14400000000000002,0.9074,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,15,15,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,12,3,13,9,4,7,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,3,3,55,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300919890932133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106480489691175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848322249204015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564199879119929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342031289112187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952213746287898,0.0,0.07917208829706487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168304950301413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020681986440776,0.08898862439027314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543648600654234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5074032403414825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305507787833648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826394402594988,0.0,0.13148865383222982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730671995304735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302101900096765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718789826595868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846839143649066,0.12477483161338294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504583619028434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768633048052013,0.0,0.0,0.11772946981143467,0.1258539242493363,0.1368587473841622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120764945059237,0.10033082030874486,0.15384009571902488,0.0,0.09130367484694063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630826098792966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123069196935163,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EducationalKid,2018/03/11,"Fucking no sleep!! Thanks to my anxiety because of an old friend getting a hold of me about my son's father (details can wait) and my fucking downstairs neighbors fighting at 4 a.m.. It was so bad I called the cops because it sounded violent. They moved in last week and this was the 2nd time I've heard them. I have ptsd from my ex's abuse so I haven't been able to go to sleep now, and I'm in college and have a son and I'm really fucking frustrated. I'm also worried about retaliation because I know they know it's me.  Ugh!!!!!",1.7539090909090902,3.58561111818182,3.503636363636364,89.53545454545456,78.72727272727272,6.218181818181819,27.363636363636363,7.1686216300943375,1.3203818181818183,413,18,89,5,10,138,70,110,0.227,0.7190000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9662,0,0,0,0,3,0,17.0,0,0,3,0,6,10,6,0,5,0,7,5,2,0,0,9,20,8,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,4,5,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,4,2,13,2,11,16,0,10,0,0,0,3,12,3,3,0,5,50,17,1,0.18153028117061654,0.21508369913593348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516970026705786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887016822529225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157020225255474,0.3319775234953629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536271337737484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024984492708611,0.5034654594067638,0.09484207952559498,0.0,0.1031678421562326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952859020876856,0.14797140767793013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929379603751294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19048549340844131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212199184356387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629294646640535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633227603373616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712869353945592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585176677843736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561264181730496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843528122183019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,New_Evening4,2018/03/11,"Always feeling dumber than others, like friends humor me, yet know stupider people than myself. Just what is the real average person's competence? Seriously, I feel like I'm strapped on a rocket ship trying to get through life yet just fuck about blazing an awful track record. I know far dumber individuals than myself, but most of the people I hang with always seem far more capable than me. There's always a stupider ass out there, but all people tell me they're struggling. Despite all this, the best company I find is with similar idiots to myself.

It's hard to accept yourself when you don't really know where you stand, and the only objective indicators are pointing at something nobody wants",7.498523622047244,8.54012061417323,7.697312992125987,68.15179625984253,63.33070866141732,10.129527559055118,32.41043307086614,10.125756701596842,3.537961417322834,566,21,86,12,8,184,90,127,0.181,0.6709999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.5804,0,1,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,2,9,12,4,1,7,1,4,3,1,0,2,21,14,4,0,1,4,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,3,12,6,15,14,5,12,0,0,0,2,5,7,2,2,5,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4655267025112654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957109452482331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859104706038532,0.1332293072751745,0.0,0.0,0.1704495228718864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440825917163364,0.17240805332962592,0.09743392321694827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705943034104254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30747195920678755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317242069812762,0.18222030139342246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418349151530359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878684239800969,0.16283686965620942,0.0,0.0,0.17629440602958055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226774478355628,0.11947099930071182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977452922441724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356999026991638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496103050512528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300147579604002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661524207657934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999730585767363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kaylo1610,2018/03/11,"Depression/anxiety and my marriage I have a long history of depression and GAD and have been married nearly two years. I wanted to see if there are others like me out there who have phases of their marriages or long term relationships , where they go right off their partner and find criticism with their flaws and see them in a negative light?   Is this normal? Does it mean I’m not with the right person? Do other people have these phases? 
TIA. ",4.643752151462998,6.852643530120488,4.815008605851983,81.66024096385546,71.5301204819277,8.11635111876076,25.110154905335627,8.841846274778883,1.9763094664371768,355,11,63,7,7,111,63,83,0.125,0.802,0.073,-0.6934,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,15,14,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,3,9,1,9,13,1,12,0,1,2,0,11,7,0,2,5,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786377214650973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112543561045296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204349847323656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342774549194032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271149942989433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140832413432194,0.0,0.0,0.4133054319704663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543654174468109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22879433319458864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618893419447602,0.20389558966270335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25070685721224945,0.0,0.3988396964899176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721611634741624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22810943942254874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773272347049115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037548673407794
mentalhealth,Urchinheadd,2018/03/11,"If life is literally just a videogame like Elon Musk and Neil Degrasse Tyson say, wht are my grandparents and best friend still dead? My best friend died when he had a massive diabetic attack and fell down stairs, which caused his head to bleed out, killing him. That wad in 2013.

Ny grandmother developed bowel cancer later that year and died a few months later. My grandpa died 6 months later, suicide by refusing to take his insulin.

I loved all three dearly and wished for them to come back or give me a sign. I never got to say goodbye to my best friend and he died alone in his house.

How come nobody has gotten a script or code to make people respawn? I have done that many times in video game engines. So my friend, my grandparents are actually still alive out there somewhere and theres a code that will make them magically spawn back where they were before? Why arent the good scientists researching this? I miss my best friend, my grandpa and grandma..my friend died on this day.

Edit (before my phone dies) and yes a simulation is a videogame microsoft flight simulator is listed under 'games' and when you crash you go back and the plane you crashed respawns like nothing happened...",5.684121621621621,7.2547897882882895,4.9167454954954986,84.52484797297298,67.78378378378378,8.072522522522524,28.289414414414416,8.472884824447931,1.8833684684684688,951,32,180,14,16,284,140,222,0.18,0.627,0.193,0.5725,4,2,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,3,3,4,13,18,2,0,10,1,12,8,2,4,2,28,25,18,9,2,4,2,0,2,6,1,5,2,0,0,7,15,0,1,0,3,0,4,2,3,0,1,5,2,24,15,16,19,6,30,0,1,0,1,28,10,0,3,18,104,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0886251199138437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405990225108117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331841403700956,0.0,0.2094999599049631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455860076078526,0.0,0.3812309177026471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329494776881704,0.0,0.15646307056556796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856999938029984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5655275333393887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293819072895873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.420993868753674,0.0,0.0,0.08712075609625068,0.05161387643946053,0.07617370285054915,0.07263533014981696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030992386952053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320531394210296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479160421602916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047649404636376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414733249516448,0.08873802719126991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196665441597452,0.0,0.12124323873268444,0.09207504437997784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449798811104604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004432382999856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714217540979667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296166140761901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444439972456687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505450292363034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933998638527718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682837199671869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295661804312345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819489828376491,0.0,0.10443604426063764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05848371712442655
mentalhealth,acatfromyouralley,2018/03/11,"Going to open up about my worsening suicidal ideation. What can I expect? My mental state has rapidly deteriorated  and I’m actively thinking about suicide. I have a plan now: I’ve always been depressed and parasuicidal  but this is a new level. 

I’m going to open up to my therapist. But what should I prepare for? ",2.7419128329297853,5.6034636271186455,4.89714285714286,74.96474576271187,82.22033898305084,7.439225181598062,28.767554479418894,8.418075326091056,2.8122232445520576,250,12,42,6,7,86,41,59,0.174,0.7979999999999999,0.029,-0.8105,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,11,4,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,8,9,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484194807528337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25714271092151536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33934837361852377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008705594656501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883437305002437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6531356515077992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466423018605977,0.0,0.1913002978125956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrbadcredit,2018/03/11,"How do I tell my doctor about potential mental health issues? I feel like I have a lot of ups and downs, self esteem issues and I tend to have bad anxiety when I overthink. I want to get checked but I don’t know how to tell my doctor about mental health issues, because I’m afraid he might not take it seriously ",3.074062500000004,4.48836703125,4.336375,86.77112500000004,74.0,6.995000000000001,22.175,7.554174236665415,0.7823474999999998,246,6,51,3,5,81,43,64,0.063,0.855,0.08199999999999999,0.0199,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,2,0,11,12,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,9,1,8,11,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,32,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337454605593847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597682689099628,0.10657553344650987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35789447310606565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839995479946436,0.12489951060421575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091342134661937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716749778157064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5474353416781387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608270636261887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541373865730527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863531322536128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523776450348515,0.18546837344169284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238716781722228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145137426268388,0.0,0.3056205120490618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312002629443737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mpskierbg,2018/03/11,"How to help Hello, 

I've been suffering from depression for a long time. I had a thought of suicide, but that's all it was. My doctor told me I should go to the ER. I was hesitant bc I didn't feel suicidal. I think they wanted me to get a diagnosis bc they thought I may have bipolar 2. So I'm like ok. This was the start of a horrible experience. I only had to stay for 24 hours bc the psychiatrist didn't think I was a harm to myself. I also didn't get a diagnosis. I'm a bit pissed bc that's why I went.

What I expirenced was eye opening. The inefficient staff and horrible conditions were very shocking. 

I'm an attorney and want to do something about this. I was wondering what your thoughts are. From the radical to the conservative. What can I do to help?",0.22721518987341585,2.5592333037974697,3.0251772151898737,87.44434810126585,89.37974683544304,7.210632911392406,23.72278481012659,8.238735603445708,1.76708253164557,594,25,130,16,20,208,91,158,0.175,0.69,0.135,-0.8209,0,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,1,2,0,4,7,1,0,14,1,20,4,2,1,1,18,38,6,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,5,1,0,18,2,20,2,15,18,2,8,0,2,1,0,7,1,1,2,5,84,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433512542824302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570152898847126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543932487677266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347649038269784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753471264079792,0.0,0.0,0.09063740669606868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730810952611984,0.0,0.10187552600508963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24030353242565264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765314159510116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757560776672266,0.0,0.0,0.15863624653338587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633254694547473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380003112584495,0.0,0.0,0.12687858127539015,0.19106343954369545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921547484699768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297204876130829,0.0,0.4269286038193608,0.10452583085716803,0.0,0.0,0.1712871433465609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479052784513686,0.21146010273332969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617245083284482,0.16175099233168205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943958866418548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IDKHM,2018/03/11,"I have fear for no reason and i just can't overcome it. Hello reddit!

I was at the party 4 days ago. I got drunk, I didn't do anything wrong and I remember pretty much everything. Most of the party was fine, I also fixed a friendship, which was broken for 2 years. At the end of the party, suddenly, I started to feel bad, like I don't belong there, nobody likes me and other stuff, so I went home.

When I woke up in the morning, I felt like I did something bad, but I know I didn't. People, who were at the party also wrote me, if I want to go out with them that night and there was nothing to worry about. I did not go. The problem is, that since the party I feel really bad, like I fear of something, but I do not know why. I can't overcome it and I'm feeling sad and scared all the time. I was at this kind of situation before, but it last only 1 or 2 days.

Please, do you have some advice how to solve this? Thank you!

P.S.: Sorry for my English, I'm not sure, if I wrote everthing correctly. And sorry, if this is stupid question.
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mentalhealth,ScottishHomo,2018/03/12,"I'm afraid I'm gonna sound dumb Hey, I'm going through a bit of a rough time in my life right now. There's loads of things going on and it's slowly eating away at my mental health. Now, to make matters worse, I'm going to have to get my dog 'put to sleep'. He's been my best friend for the past 13 years and seeing him so ill is so difficult, I know it's for the best. 

I've luckily never really had to deal with grief until now and I guess it couldn't have come at a worse time for me. I know he's a dog - but he's so much more to me.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, what's the best way to deal with grief I guess? I have a lot of exams and things going on at University right now and all this is making it even more difficult for me. I don't really know who to talk to and I just feel completely lost and alone.",0.7203900709219866,1.6673679893617006,3.0437446808510664,95.5636666666667,79.21276595744679,6.715460992907803,16.25673758865248,7.3011,-0.3604373049645386,634,7,166,8,15,219,96,188,0.158,0.7559999999999999,0.087,-0.9061,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,11,12,1,1,8,0,9,5,1,2,3,27,33,12,2,1,3,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,10,10,1,0,4,0,0,6,4,7,0,0,3,4,15,5,27,28,9,26,0,3,1,0,11,9,1,3,10,98,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061091929632168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178949166124574,0.0,0.11848358195574404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970309300269665,0.0,0.13767839533938864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863176015186206,0.13222291529952598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26002573845194826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904101759323428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329382285419132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376451311411789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743152129666802,0.0,0.06588676155700812,0.0,0.2866826645092419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27784662140639343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404799838915013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079186693182429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890745351322533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376628998475669,0.10721338490364246,0.0,0.0,0.16835750931430812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708823787816526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270464500568054,0.0,0.09726305586098144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203853356366014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267744035042855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423660153674564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539283971806067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049256698737814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620010125422004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885626534187405,0.0,0.0,0.10136165883548526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675624676537142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707037536512058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000994756002595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570317442569072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121007862730986
mentalhealth,AbqDustin,2018/03/12,"weird question has anyone ever heard of someone thinking that they're haunted?  i mean, like locking themselves into closets and unplugging things, then claiming they don't know who's doing it?  i mean, she hasn't always been this flaky, and shit is starting to get out of hand.  ",7.664705882352941,8.168704490196081,6.541960784313726,78.43882352941178,62.92156862745098,7.584313725490197,36.607843137254896,6.42735559955562,2.5817137254901956,223,10,36,1,3,67,44,51,0.161,0.7340000000000001,0.105,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,6,2,2,0,1,10,13,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,4,1,5,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,1,4,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408153558384423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236476554661345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26179123153470657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512066961808086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905418285846604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139289911081948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6305126569490839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242095430736974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29707897074321443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24521926132342964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484848348848075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227358075490947,0.18544459214764986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iliketities09,2018/03/12,Idk how to get better on my own Okay so one day when my baby cousin was peeing at the toilet my father said that to him that his penis was getting bigger? Please guys don’t start a discussion I just need help. Idk why but it struck me as weird and out of the ordinary.  Now I fear my father might do something to this child like sexual abuse but idk I really don’t. It was a constant worry at a time when he would come over it got so bad to the point I had to be hospitalized 7 times in one month in the psych ward in the hospital. Idk what to do because the only way for me to get better is either to move out or if the child stop coming over but everyone time I talk about it with my mother she won’t budge it’s the only way for me to get better. I had to start going to group when I didn’t even need to. Idk what to do I can’t get better I feel like I’m on the verge of breakdowns every day. Please help! I tried to get it out of my head but every time I replay it in my head it just sounds so weird and I can’t find a reason to believe nothing’s wrong,0.3458027079303676,1.946249872340428,2.5852707930367522,95.55295454545455,82.19148936170212,5.464216634429401,15.788201160541586,6.351523495107088,-0.6193829787234049,820,12,199,7,22,279,120,235,0.161,0.7170000000000001,0.123,-0.8683,0,0,1,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,12,12,0,1,13,1,18,3,3,2,0,26,35,16,0,4,9,4,1,2,0,3,0,2,0,3,13,8,0,1,3,0,0,4,6,5,0,2,8,3,25,7,36,23,2,37,0,0,0,0,17,16,0,3,17,128,38,1,0.0,0.1308396326130439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220312677101357,0.06731614620171637,0.0,0.0,0.12441502581650987,0.0,0.39065989120948574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024862954662888,0.0,0.11933390282518938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243440416157982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293693679250372,0.0,0.18608143067330368,0.10551909753717843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426268511176393,0.055835932404622056,0.07889009273011102,0.0,0.0,0.1009295847901772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461657826577556,0.0,0.06275902181071809,0.0,0.0883197036062172,0.0,0.0,0.1093415076120579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22666285635136474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480356983083522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789950625911968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171471137759938,0.0,0.0,0.08814291958286594,0.11736794538128956,0.0,0.16376256379056067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595905722352698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965832467524345,0.1679715948035319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424345110500687,0.10439056033480557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074328018478275,0.11353881826261995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504272515014501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850132007536553,0.0,0.0,0.1563236227939057,0.0,0.0,0.09232311245780772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887581893870909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575668231924793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497365551737023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530589603503866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964448237687798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214543137729734,0.0,0.07844518859748584,0.1207361532781622,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Subsanic,2018/03/12,"Would these be considered real suicidal thoughts? I’ve had some thoughts in the past couple months of just disappearing from this world, but it wasn’t through death, just to fade away; those thoughts would just come and go within seconds and I’d continue doing what ever I was doing. This year gave me a new thought that for some reason I’m not going to grow old because I will be dead sometime within the next ten years. 

The past two days have been better, but I’m still new to depression. Within the past two days I’ve had three troubling thoughts invade my mind. The first one was last night when I was boiling water; I put in my pasta and for some reason the thought of pouring that water all over my legs on purpose would not leave me. I was really close to doing it by gripping the pot, ready to lift it to pour. Then I was suddenly lifted out of this crazy and scary desire and let go. 

That night when I was laying down trying to sleep I couldn’t help but imagine having my legs go numb while my life leaves me. I could almost physically feel it. I’d call for my roommate to call 911 in my brain but I imagined that the ambulance couldn’t get to me because I always lock my door in my room, so I just die as though I wanted it to happen. It was such an intense intrusive thought it has made me consider keeping my door unlocked. 

Lastly, just about 20 minutes ago I was going to the bathroom and immediately I looked at the bathtub and the thought of slitting my wrists for my roommate to find me entered my brain. I then thought about how the sharp knifes are right there in the kitchen and I could go get one, for them to cut my skin as I lay in the bathtub. I even thought about whether to have the water running or to just do it to make it clean, I thought how it would stain the bathtub red. It was quite surprising to suddenly think that because it was forced into my brain. 

These thoughts almost make me go into this state of defense as though I’m being threatened, but my heart doesn’t quicken, its more as though I feel like it’s gonna happen. I haven’t had these kind of thoughts before, and I have not been around violent/depressing things (such as video games, movies, true crime) on purpose. In fact, for the past week I have been on a Full House binge, which is quite wholesome. I’ve only been depressed since about November, and have not had these thoughts.

What do you think? Should I tell my dad and sister about this? I seriously don’t want them to worry about me, I already take too much space in their thoughts and borrow too much money cause I have none since I have to pay rent with 18 credit hours and two jobs. They are about three and a half hours away because I am in college, but I call them frequently. They tell me to get a counselor, but my school ran out of room and told me to find another through them. That’s too much effort. I can deal with the laying down doing nothing, feeling nothing for days on end (and they know about that) and I’ve gotten my ptsd in control this past month or two (they know about that too). I just don’t want them to make a big deal out of it. Should I tell them anyway?
",5.809147677088853,5.604553298887127,5.462958399576049,87.01579778307722,66.88553259141494,8.260748984278397,29.71387564034623,7.3871296695380915,1.5252267797208976,2471,77,524,20,36,759,271,629,0.103,0.838,0.06,-0.9877,2,0,0,0,0,1,58.0,0,1,11,6,36,13,2,0,24,0,58,17,9,10,4,111,111,43,4,14,21,2,6,1,0,8,2,0,7,0,38,27,6,3,28,2,5,14,12,7,0,12,39,8,75,6,86,56,10,90,0,2,2,0,26,37,0,7,39,363,113,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045599989170141006,0.0,0.10302292221730784,0.0,0.05676722741491234,0.0,0.04280363965297156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539411384131369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457940453188148,0.0,0.0,0.09666239599056516,0.0,0.0,0.1254336027611941,0.0,0.04377312273545796,0.0,0.0,0.045496029160174686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227794795689522,0.15758327130507935,0.0,0.0,0.05284482622359137,0.0,0.04431249479304893,0.0,0.0,0.057696273540932284,0.08214406992047815,0.05691929498572399,0.0,0.09952697910836864,0.10606832813076864,0.1329200580926731,0.0,0.053388393367293584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045562103407672805,0.0,0.0,0.03397677701585347,0.04653198920768503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780314518903305,0.03674998165986144,0.0,0.0,0.0940336171910904,0.04375630862712408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062854107337412,0.0,0.20464864148373546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097950258638056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095869685200881,0.03448030677596257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101319482342094,0.05935684886398905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051047978698695984,0.0457237725684533,0.0,0.05356864495476158,0.0565420581645884,0.0838637503614644,0.0,0.10893872736798918,0.0,0.05260265344923922,0.03633481468700635,0.02513183049293884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319809664544089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867540803210687,0.10301326119219316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194148216113705,0.0,0.0821205950206875,0.0,0.11344676989573535,0.0,0.0,0.09936548534054684,0.05470886265868834,0.09654915629907997,0.0,0.09871945322671814,0.0,0.05397944142511708,0.0,0.06971649413414302,0.03912375315317232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24553475664478164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06013262867142623,0.05171314620440901,0.0,0.10942922230521772,0.0,0.05855194992242839,0.032954889002898835,0.1057813305685476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043930955712784624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052061776351102464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510626005137681,0.0,0.05147887985882015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087718559694632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04108143143476175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626890247682347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03867777839919061,0.0,0.13488701627027894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034175599129737416,0.06592356596400369,0.1516237134337148,0.6125848039990568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915477679209696,0.0,0.0349255574418216,0.0,0.20100437883456151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102499417536764,0.0,0.041263452292821405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224157310161051,0.0,0.14617091411589314,0.0,0.0,0.0662535741165394
mentalhealth,cam3lwolfman,2018/03/12,"Need help getting rid of some symptoms I was in a very very bad place around this time last year. I was suicidal with severe depression and social anxiety. I managed to bet into a better state of mind over the past year but I have a persisting problem, certain symptoms have not gone away.

The most prominent one is my lack of appetite. Despite being very happy now compared to how I felt before, I still am eating very little, and go to sleep hungry many nights a month. I simply can’t bring myself to eat a lot in one sitting, and it’s affecting my life in tons of ways. It’s preventing me from sleeping, it has halted my muscle development and even caused me to lose some gains, and I’m also nervous of buying food when I’m out with friends cuz I never finish it and I don’t want to get the judgmental comments on that.

I also still have terrible self motivation when it comes to school and even exercise. I never feel worried enough about impending deadlines to actually do them at all, nor do I do homework and it’s really been affecting my grades but I simply can’t muster enough to care. I used to really enjoy to workout, and when I actually get to the gym to workout I do enjoy it, but it’s a struggle to get myself to go there in the first place. I just can’t get myself to stop watching videos or doing nothing to get up and go to the gym.

If anyone has any experience in this and tips to help me out of this rut, i would so much appreciate it!",4.3434693877551,5.185873040816329,5.715789115646262,80.26552040816328,70.29251700680271,8.60108843537415,28.305442176870752,8.841846274778883,2.150118911564625,1150,40,226,20,20,388,161,294,0.123,0.733,0.14400000000000002,0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,6,16,14,0,2,12,0,21,9,2,7,4,52,41,25,1,6,7,0,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,1,13,18,3,3,3,6,2,6,8,7,0,3,5,3,29,7,43,34,10,44,0,2,1,0,7,17,0,7,18,166,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.1929074108539568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808482661349818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721467526876147,0.0,0.07561242609613736,0.0,0.0,0.06911131446912444,0.0,0.0,0.0879886677469128,0.0,0.0,0.09286355229399157,0.0,0.08252737692090291,0.0,0.0,0.08410566757754012,0.0,0.0,0.08741605957082267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077409613055913,0.10153603649469564,0.0,0.08514201692027536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513085596605141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022762493763087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20425654423590373,0.0,0.130565942499541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668460947250324,0.0,0.0,0.04997653768001002,0.0,0.09490202146716696,0.0,0.0,0.08407336095380008,0.1195178730789234,0.0,0.07636363640994434,0.0,0.3098393191530797,0.0,0.16851936467479608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521715239045604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325009064213555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056789496530012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981370426838264,0.0,0.0990637728037546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105768190249536,0.0,0.08403034083940923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002083745154413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980035142867716,0.0,0.07889324583741604,0.0,0.07265886553460653,0.07328870126628807,0.1524631974342804,0.0,0.0,0.09275476293589394,0.0,0.0948397669353074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339532551916396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943540845641803,0.0,0.0,0.20653378990810511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457665223593087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663903173110205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003148465656876,0.0,0.0,0.10311180798050533,0.11166120901619787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782301495080926,0.10075506155084124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786770510949846,0.0826347713699411,0.0,0.10332916052004518,0.0,0.1081150557905068,0.0,0.0,0.2054654729062044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763447250741111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536613424508224,0.0,0.32621382235190577,0.058298467361872434,0.07845469164223882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037694609008678,0.0,0.0702131898747197,0.0,0.0,0.12729960149623495
mentalhealth,Forgottttten,2018/03/12,I always create problems for myself Every single day my mind finds something new to tangle over. I can do the simplest things and my brain will just fucking make it harder for me to enjoy anything without stressing over a problem that i created.,10.648666666666664,8.886213533333336,9.705000000000002,65.55750000000002,58.111111111111114,9.888888888888893,42.5,7.1686216300943375,3.876333333333333,199,9,28,1,2,63,39,45,0.055,0.7090000000000001,0.236,0.7887,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,2,0,3,2,1,1,0,8,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,1,7,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165287696713954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414371790521086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29049813220754545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678241578688557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21925151849094288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23784173032028896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405746231152068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370278856831733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26275394612333963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25132776631876924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980020256518849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033458781535896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980878542837802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288250467343427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25084845200185785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toomuchtooless,2018/03/12,"I think I have depression, or at least something. Hi, sorry for the lack of clarity. But I need help and I am not 100% sure this is depression, but I think it is. 

I feel helpless and scared and this feeling of depression finds me in the middle of nowhere every now and then and I dunno what to do or how to deal with it.. I feel okay during the day, I fake being happy, maybe I even am happy. I joke around. I get through the day. Laughing and dancing. But on weekends or nights or sometimes holidays these feelings will come and wrap me. 

I don't have the budget to visit a therapist. Also, I don't want to take pills. 

Objectively speaking, life has done me good. I think the sickness and problem is within me. ",1.851217303822935,4.0148035985915485,3.3234607645875265,89.30056338028173,79.91549295774648,6.02897384305835,24.227364185110666,7.1686216300943375,1.0223645875251508,549,20,112,7,14,180,87,142,0.18600000000000005,0.62,0.194,0.5165,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,5,14,0,1,7,1,14,3,0,1,1,34,26,18,0,4,8,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,11,0,0,8,4,1,3,3,7,0,0,1,5,19,7,15,23,2,15,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,5,6,84,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775957000861113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221977653124454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761861532726594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060632502046648,0.16470497221614594,0.412801726225598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348937896857665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105519606333212,0.0,0.1346042223189852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32311670139616266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601723794258142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346771589816472,0.0,0.0,0.1339986422706715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401337986674902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708338803148718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284282026438733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049983508065094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845960375644328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992341621645072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286821235612189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994707415667933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229906254792702,0.15800617560125238,0.1788376183654323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057138572046275,0.0,0.12011921991957912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854930284666512,0.0,0.3071022036032484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942302595621521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,troubledthrowaway44,2018/03/12,"Should I see a therapist? Hi, I'm using a throwaway because my friends know my real account (I am from the US).

So...this has been building up for awhile. I'm a senior in high school right now and I suffer from a constant headache. I feel like it never goes away, and I've recently noticed it gets to an almost unbearable level of pain when I am doing social things (for examples, I was recently visiting a museum I've been dying to see, and despite how excited I was, I had to leave early because my headache was getting so terrible). I also feel really exhausted after being out, even if it's just seeing a movie with friends. Furthermore, I've been told I overanalyze WAY too much. Like, a single facial expression from my friend will set me off on a horrible string of thoughts, like, did I do something wrong? Are they mad at me? I know it's annoying for my friends, but I honestly feel like I'm not overexaggerating when I interpret small gestures or expressions to be of annoyance to me. I also seem to think every time something is whispered it's about me. Ugh. This is a lot.

This is going to sound very cliche, but I have no hope for the future. I just...can't see it happening. I can't see myself going to college, even though I've applied and been accepted. I can't see myself doing *anything*. The future is just not there. I always feel like my life won't carry on past high school. Not in a 'I-peaked-in-high-school' kind of way, but I'll just cease to exist. Most days I would really love to just not exist. 

I'm sorry for rambling. I included some of that information because I thought it may help bring clarity, but I'm not sure. My true question is: am I just hormonal, or suffering from extreme senioritis? Or should I see a therapist?

Thanks for any guidance. 
",2.934047004608292,4.946816174285715,4.591511520737328,82.25303686635947,75.82857142857144,8.058986175115209,27.29032258064516,8.841846274778883,2.3072562211981573,1391,56,267,31,31,468,185,350,0.104,0.752,0.14400000000000002,0.95,0,2,2,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,1,0,18,28,3,0,15,0,33,5,1,2,3,53,66,19,1,5,18,0,4,5,4,6,3,2,0,0,11,6,0,0,14,1,1,4,10,10,0,0,12,13,40,18,37,46,5,37,0,2,7,1,16,14,0,12,21,177,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525034135067246,0.0,0.0,0.1361647561800744,0.07083908732019968,0.0,0.0,0.05789467633139884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005879890594252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998707546450425,0.0,0.0,0.15569240158536268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200062179106301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490499110927791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835662318188688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246164547681888,0.0,0.07172985597727748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218712797934804,0.18246124728586696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631001635142656,0.0,0.08895898118172506,0.0,0.0967682928805741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528454332758501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057064153476960575,0.26984920444669697,0.0,0.08455820164502571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865493561624463,0.0935758694367716,0.0,0.0,0.09014560541041124,0.0,0.0,0.06013332350342378,0.20796314860600368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237867869571818,0.07683760422712331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258397419778515,0.0,0.06566131155594639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692668966002188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058957506749478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127093026256779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537061310678024,0.0,0.0,0.09690219633074856,0.10907924086038656,0.0,0.16812095839648436,0.0,0.0,0.0727047707397875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258483303117268,0.4748906544343409,0.07750364889229902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678434663132467,0.0,0.13108206711787548,0.0,0.09530159149296204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023867027315784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838081143871609,0.0,0.1976964464780429,0.05655986898776581,0.05455102981480685,0.0836446430165368,0.13517526008952835,0.04964286620452128,0.0,0.0,0.0813500803579105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240684641587483,0.07352925074799438,0.0,0.07024523879783384,0.0,0.13515230003404027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047741636388108,0.09308168853342272,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sara_hal,2018/03/12,"Can antidepressants help people feel LESS numb and emotionless, or do they tend to make that problem worse? Many people on antidepressants complain that their medication made them feel numb. This happened to me after trying Prozac, Effexor, and Wellbutrin for two years. 

These antidepressants helped curb my depressed mood, and the only concern I have now with my depression is that I feel emotionally flat. I’m hesitant to try another antidepressant since it might make this issue worse. ",10.178875,11.8227441375,8.349999999999998,63.69499999999999,57.625,11.9,37.25,11.602472056035307,4.887075000000001,401,17,57,11,5,120,62,80,0.272,0.7,0.028,-0.9697,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,3,0,14,14,4,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,8,0,7,12,1,4,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,2,3,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960231649562276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220227484995737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102826339517878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835678410885558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531065683610302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25060423497624074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511706554777344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688739649709764,0.2495681537987763,0.18952808484038655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832264745483326,0.0,0.19831407669221104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421764935569708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592016802231332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788765844727793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463891700880092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538403344464477,0.0,0.18261347307612355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810161966824959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038340003613204
mentalhealth,throw1257893,2018/03/12,"I’m falling apart. I’m like hyperventilating right now. Ok, I’m not in a good place right now so I apologize if this is frantic. 

I’m going to be upfront: this revolves around a kink I have called omorashi. I’m attracted to woman wetting themselves. 

Now I exclusively browse videos, but there is  a lot of omorashi art online and in the past I’ve browsed it. I was always interested in depictions and drawings of adults, and I’ve never purposefully sought out anything but that. 

But I’ve stumbled across bad stuff. 

Years ago I went on the 4chan archives and searched omorashi. I didn’t really understand what ecchi and yaoi and whatever that stuff was, and I found fucked up shit intermingled with ok shit and browsed a thread before closing it. I’m paranoid that because I did that I’m absolutely fucked up. 

If you, see something fucked up, but continue to browse the site doesn that mean you’re ok with the possibility of seeing more bad things?  Because I continued to go to adult 4chan boards for porn. 

There was a subreddit posting really awful images that I reported. But I still visited it on an occasion. 

My mind has been freaking out the few days because omorashi is linked to anime and anime has this weird/fucked up tendency to depict immature characters. Some of the art I viewed reflected that side of the kink, but I always thought it was fucked up and I wasn’t looking for it. I’ve stopped that altogether. 

I did go on websites where it was, so that’s bad enough for me to convince myself that I’m a piece of shit. Am I overreacting?  I just put the pieces together about this and I’m spiraling hard. 

If I’m a piece of shit, please just tell me. 

I’ve been falling apart, I feel like my worldview is crumbling and I just found out a terrible terrible secret about myself. ",3.4834274781341112,5.849676653061223,4.277776056851312,83.48433172376096,75.47230320699708,7.786042274052478,28.503006559766764,8.660442795831766,2.3230933673469383,1424,61,272,30,32,456,165,343,0.234,0.7,0.065,-0.9972,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,0,15,24,8,1,17,4,20,9,4,0,1,46,47,23,0,3,13,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,24,19,0,1,9,3,0,8,4,15,0,0,15,7,26,9,38,31,8,46,0,0,4,5,9,25,8,5,14,168,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039614739149897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970548411867806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391809405565177,0.09078083889114588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554387297889808,0.1864920581572022,0.0,0.08677461829687529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412956142144683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576650299441955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536913962646274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051562458344250287,0.07285213920478321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362426655205986,0.0,0.4713788489214804,0.0,0.0,0.17386704090786378,0.08553317585148694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135104823100174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964128039510424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563470260537821,0.0,0.0,0.08669690119246218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108246743438902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296734632221274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865067921542654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734825141551184,0.0,0.0,0.10654389472718948,0.1119397387925868,0.0,0.11496335071048458,0.0976654418426644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251469948665863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065770662626325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741750039827921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252437433090716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4187102635205601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850660737258283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143868449561299,0.08525704569273357,0.0,0.0,0.2334777333212549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913208698707208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774875504021913,0.0,0.0,0.08095806927420816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616128915010234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945333762997235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566961922629093
mentalhealth,DelusionalDisorder,2018/03/12,"I'm 14 with a severe undiagnosed mental illness, I can't tell my parents and I don't know what to do. Hello Reddit. I'm a 14 year old girl from a non-America/England/Canada/Australia country. 

Since December last year, I've been having this..delusion? of being talking (verbally, audibly) to people I've never met. It could be the people I see on the news, or celebrities, or an author.. I just start talking to them about stuff I guess. Not necessarily related to who they are. It usually progresses to me believing they can ""read"" my mind, and that's when it becomes a **real**, terrifying problem.

Now, I usually talk to myself when I'm alone in a room, or walking down an *empty* street. My mother has ""caught"" me a couple times, but I managed to just laugh it off or something.

My parents are the most caring, compassionate people I've known, and I honestly believe my mum loves me more than herself. I love them too, of course. But the thing is, they're very traditional in their views on mental health. My mother believes there is nothing between ""crazy"" and healthy. Each time the topic of mental illnesses comes up (talking about other people, of course, I've never told them about any of this), my parents go ""Oh, those poor parents, their kid is insane, how unfortunate for them"" They would **never** in a million years think that their own kinda-smart pretty-funny socially awkward daughter would be..*insane*.

But I am. Let's be real here, I absolutely am. I've cried about this so many times, googled more things about it than you could imagine, but no dice. I don't know what it might (""it"" being the illness) or how I could tell my parents about it.

It isn't schizophrenia, by the way. I've never had a hallucination in my life, only delusions. So that's that.

Please, please, please, someone help me. Tell me what to do. We do not have a ""school counselor"" or anything like that *at all*
, and there's no teacher at school I can trust with this. 

I'm willing to answer any question that aren't about my location, religion, name etc.


I honestly.. I don't even know. Help me.",2.253555072131899,4.8541050579345075,3.5631205633157776,85.58725927410124,81.544080604534,5.926471261735745,24.89174490496909,7.259408732682427,1.3335748110831231,1616,63,301,23,44,526,206,397,0.097,0.772,0.131,0.9687,5,1,1,0,0,0,105.0,1,1,10,1,21,11,0,1,18,0,35,7,0,2,5,53,54,21,0,6,14,9,0,1,0,4,5,1,1,2,27,10,0,0,8,1,1,4,14,2,0,1,5,3,46,9,40,37,7,36,0,0,2,2,43,13,0,10,19,211,73,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966155460579784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461073999476356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329513576294228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494743936187671,0.0,0.25997324497817426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842076694091185,0.0,0.0,0.06625613646917501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423298210367514,0.08510585093247636,0.08448837594309097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578142981860061,0.050802149264190063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371301200615192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473140654108079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175788058920673,0.0,0.0,0.10311005606506984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268127084526729,0.06269662896115734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865159932543961,0.05432789220574676,0.037577166409541236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883899430775054,0.0,0.0,0.07798053155666078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325390554487401,0.08159549086696434,0.07766301460912907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372887742415437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380276822258486,0.0,0.08071017563546022,0.0,0.0,0.05849791893255182,0.0,0.0,0.4270293732841793,0.0,0.0,0.21329487733917532,0.0,0.0,0.2532912970871232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073598016631543,0.0,0.0,0.08616327996848758,0.0,0.07693659750734523,0.17509400013313006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568575747567273,0.061291920734281774,0.0,0.0,0.08689294158743963,0.0,0.06362553052677199,0.0,0.0,0.07840595453973744,0.06517049333823431,0.059213527521732076,0.0,0.0,0.05444138709367319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805016959985153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247287971442512,0.20168335363788514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219885702354528,0.04928452802583854,0.0,0.0,0.13455063483011967,0.0,0.0,0.07349632681389652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942373679811346,0.06346357625083493,0.0,0.06105216841365858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927753084899508,0.0,0.0,0.14859372741493534
mentalhealth,IdleAmbition,2018/03/12,"Proof that therapy works? Hello, Reddit. I'm a twenty three year old bloke from the uk who has suffered from depression from at least the age of fourteen. As you can imagine having no sense of ambition or drive from that age, as well as frequent severe mood swings, has caused me some issues. I'm recklessly impulsive, drink heavily and have quit smoking more times than I care to admit. I've tried all the drugs to no avail. My fiance has finally made me consider therapy, but due to the fact that I don't believe therapy works I'm almost certain it won't. Like a reverse placebo effect. I suppose what I'm asking is for someone to show me something that will give me a little faith. Some scientific study or equivalent so that I can go into therapy thinking ""hey, this might actually help"". Thanks, guys and gals. ",4.719172043010751,6.490138503225813,5.510725806451617,78.55942204301077,70.41935483870971,8.779569892473116,30.336021505376344,9.2995712137729,2.8655698924731183,648,27,115,14,12,211,110,155,0.078,0.8290000000000001,0.093,0.5248,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,4,2,9,0,0,7,0,12,2,0,3,4,20,24,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,9,3,1,0,4,2,0,2,4,2,1,1,1,0,10,6,17,20,5,13,1,2,0,0,9,3,0,6,9,70,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.1399633008430685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362064104913475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408415420415273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615922344610471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623258973278006,0.1473382360937781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353279277202005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405030922702781,0.1663288799182717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571164129472611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758749897353206,0.08151242585393383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420145068364193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613557169906443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969970995468138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007080615555829,0.14375075145327834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571335688097844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215255353194912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505016905771113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525514392208078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203080349117954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152457042652433,0.11041651101474732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204759308205355,0.6560815272999794,0.0,0.0,0.09190173021906876,0.0,0.0,0.08363298204850571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737698836017107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289573962117386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883199212527448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236178300536664
mentalhealth,csat888,2018/03/12,"Don't know what to do Hi,

I'm a Japanese male in my mid 20's. I know my English is not brilliant, but if you can listen to me I'd appreciate it very much. I'm being emotional right now and I want to let it go. I write in English just in case someone I know will read this.

I don't know where to start, but I'm stuck and lost in my life. Simply put, I have so much regret in what I have done and how I have been, and I think I have to and want to change but don't know what to do. 

I have wasted so many years, though I had so many chances by which I would lead much better life. Around me were always nice people, but all because of me I lost them and now I have no one to turn to. I should have thanked my parents for all their love, but I told them it's all because of them how sad and miserable I am, which is simply not true.I had a girlfriend, nice and beautiful and everything, but I was wrong enough for her to left me, even though she was very patient for so long when she told me she couldn't put up with me anymore.

Make things worse, I was more than 1 million yen in debt. Luckily I could get a job, though not a brilliant one also, and I will be finish repayning it at the end of the month. 

It took me 2 years and it was long, and I think repayning it by myself was one of the few things that I wasn't wrong with. That said, because I was haunted by this debt too long, it feels like all the other things that I've tried not to see suddenly show up in front of myself. What if I didn't do those thing, or what if I wasn't at least in debt. Those who once were around me all look very happy, have a decent job, etc. 

If I can say say like I'm happy with what I have, but I can't, because I'm not. I think I need to change and start trying to be better. But I don't know what to do and where to start.

My apology for this incoherent post.I just wanted to let it out and it feels a little better. Any comment, encouragement, or whatever if you can give me, I'd be grateful.

Thanks so much",2.585217288615969,2.792850705479456,3.986189576444655,93.38445205479452,73.90867579908677,7.3199181231302175,22.637694851204532,7.0983637204850245,0.3716664147378368,1531,33,385,14,29,508,177,438,0.127,0.706,0.16699999999999998,0.9645,7,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,4,6,22,20,0,1,10,0,51,3,0,4,5,73,92,42,0,14,22,1,2,2,1,4,2,4,0,1,33,21,0,0,11,2,4,6,15,7,0,4,22,8,59,13,47,58,14,42,0,5,2,1,27,21,0,7,17,274,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300694028910732,0.06555814103637816,0.0,0.0,0.053578716211198786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813677945095836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402765048008591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211435960092516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20904543074790904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666950569372699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629060117878896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062774113815545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862618399736033,0.0697830097003654,0.08140933043369084,0.08786973277641913,0.05203890037449787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708098046814613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967541965705252,0.056286346214351635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04116361217644498,0.0755808749362726,0.044777181867398624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677431282956365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637037477577248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259799791818674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856036712613341,0.16113266075837274,0.1113009512786167,0.07698392479313625,0.07896653147009758,0.0,0.2091753831464496,0.06616229216358947,0.0,0.17201337830231506,0.0,0.07110947762567754,0.0,0.05259177304085653,0.159757851650104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628880346858982,0.0,0.2316737361976439,0.058420493901556424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390692184388694,0.16016688506151425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748503492541737,0.0,0.0,0.054621856717724106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545737067900543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840791856905234,0.0,0.0,0.07880957776051706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728474059288732,0.07494567429812833,0.12531116785831042,0.0,0.0,0.06278403971190255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675703408823724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730020049845434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450752821706633,0.0,0.0,0.2093736669044691,0.1514530003801592,0.23222718606025794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057111103981852,0.08753665201114022,0.10698410878646447,0.08569899849741144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502568905610254,0.13941406512074433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029196448266722,0.05596891690004206,0.17228518027612413,0.0,0.1014741080737672
mentalhealth,apsxra,2018/03/12,"massive loser, very lost in life Hey reddit I never in my life have discussed my issues with anyone im usually very private but i would like to just hear your advice if you have any for me. 

-Im 23 male

-Morbidly obese, this has been a 5 year battle I never can get the upper hand on. It’s 100% mental, using junk food like cigarettes. I was athletic in high school. I know how to be healthy I just cannot for the life of me change my behavior. I know it sounds stupid for healthy people but I just can’t stop I feel like Im hurting myself against my will.

-virgin, never touched a girl

-living at home with my parents (I have a very... “quiet” relationship with them. They love me and I love them but we never really interact)

-been working a part time retail job since high school ended

-Chemistry major senior (I hate that I chose this major. It’s not going to lead to anything useful I just wasted my time. And I’m not going to grad school for sure)

-No hobbies, no friends, I spend all day doing homework and working retail. 

-Only time I enjoyed life was when I was a teenager smoking weed and being a degenerate with my 2 close friends but one of them died soon after high school ended and the other had a mental breakdown and long story short doesn’t interact with anyone anymore (I could further elaborate if you want trying to keep this succinct)

-I cant smoke weed anymore cause of random drug tests (although I guess a loser like me should be avoiding such vices)

-I just feel lost. I’m not suicidal cause that’s scary I’m just feeling really detached from everything like I don’t get how to play the game of life correctly",1.9699861973775008,4.520267782608698,3.1796997929606654,88.19676155969636,82.35403726708074,5.441131815044859,22.609040717736374,6.816661863887847,0.8163185645272608,1294,44,244,15,36,417,180,322,0.15,0.669,0.181,0.9226,2,1,3,0,0,1,39.0,1,3,4,7,11,21,3,1,12,0,24,12,1,7,7,56,47,16,2,6,15,1,5,5,2,3,7,3,2,2,9,13,2,3,5,2,3,3,14,9,0,1,8,8,42,12,28,32,4,33,0,5,0,3,22,12,0,4,23,151,51,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102966619508298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056389279843744484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644711569863294,0.1159609039658549,0.0,0.0682371068871707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036588968793356,0.08771966630510572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620585473863537,0.0,0.0,0.05347733340380122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605914509534175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616230097270198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688719478911896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452425467091031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578239607307656,0.05923894323170732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026868038011326,0.0,0.1281294731005744,0.0,0.08664584038360218,0.0,0.09425209178144614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913470833919778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186754732237328,0.0,0.0,0.09345825266453872,0.0,0.0,0.2628324963430874,0.08317675460540166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876889165963812,0.0,0.268707473042453,0.08654822043689407,0.08228652575161198,0.07370419916373679,0.0,0.0,0.09114267878599464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928485848646121,0.2025556221577864,0.0,0.07322096521711703,0.07338267911069153,0.0,0.0,0.18103663566186265,0.0,0.1496792949487918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671301929796169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558158578202448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618957142007084,0.0630653319368444,0.0,0.0,0.09207421277328033,0.08979561140124807,0.0,0.05748714007815053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624292642747953,0.0,0.0,0.08902636854272508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356828465765749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859329828391321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932586118985674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907023668851428,0.0,0.07815227787825371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505610802425986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056298072031190326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323463778934067,0.0913260197467292,0.2052560967223221,0.04890908982874872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073528595483275,0.0,0.0,0.0589048626172213,0.0,0.0,0.05339855339675005
mentalhealth,anothersentientbeing,2018/03/12,"anxiety from philosophical determinism Assuming determinism is true, how can one deal with his/her anxiety from realizing the fact that he isn't in control of any of his thoughts? I understand my choice matters and it affects the people around me but the fact that I am not in control of anything still remains. I think I've lost all my motivation because every time I work on something or try to improve myself I know I am not the absolute chooser of those decisions. It's not at all clear to me really how the society would function if everyone really properly understood determinism. Realizing this indeed often makes me want to indulge more immoral behaviour as well",8.544096812278628,9.116943008264467,9.290271546635186,59.24371900826449,61.066115702479344,13.525855962219598,43.731995277449826,12.785403640627713,6.400543329397875,548,32,83,20,7,186,85,121,0.101,0.7879999999999999,0.11,0.0347,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,7,6,35,14,7,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,10,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,3,0,13,2,16,10,3,7,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,4,2,62,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109389835342312,0.0,0.31744412717031656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073882570852145,0.18470169042244625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647822606890075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654141899845531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139033510759376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748113237602608,0.19825657031675645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140258919064419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264895450083865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384948876043046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059419982724558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384089886041285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26583472432467925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972867477502006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569424644947914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294516773367968,0.0,0.16471639203746302,0.12098358540152278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086568359577392,0.0,0.0,0.21599458435234234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237741230209108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654994447874826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510483216968448,0.0,0.0,0.14738823978009294,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killerApple101,2018/03/12,"I used to be screwed up, and it might be happening again This is my second post in less than 30mins but there's something else I need to just get off of my chest, so here goes:

Ever since early high school, I've had medical issues. At the time, the ones my parents paid more attention to were physical issues, namely a tumor I've had on one of my legs since I was very little. Around this time, I started developing some mental stuff too, but was always too afraid to say anything in case I got thrown into a looney bin.

Some friends and I determined early on that I had issues recollecting some things (usually referring to it as memory issues, since amnesia wasn't EXACTLY correct, I've always remembered things like family etc, just other things that seem to vanish from my mind COMPLETELY). I developed anxiety. I also used to hear voices and have blackouts, and this one was really scary for a number of reasons: 

1) I would normally come-to in a different location. Now, I don't know if the memory-issues come into play here but it was terrifying nonetheless.

2) A number of people would call it something that is now known as dissociative identity disorder. They'd say I would act differently at times, sometimes completely differently.

I thought that everything was going to be ok. My grandparents (who were the only family I told at the time) would brush it off as the imagination of a young man. So anyhow a couple years ago the blackouts just stop (they weren't extremely frequent to begin with). All the weird shit that was happening just stops (this lines up with a breakup I had, maybe the emotions were a factor? I don't know). So I get myself back into the swing of things, find a job, get into uni, all that good stuff. Last December I suddenly have a panic attack out of absolutely nowhere. I have flashbacks to my high school years (I consider myself a horrible person back then), I have thoughts about my last (ex) gf. My anxiety shoots through the roof, I feel like I am fighting for my life. I immediately seek counsel from a counsellor at uni, and things over the next couple months go a little smoother, but still a bumpy road. I wake up anxious, weak legs, intrusive thoughts, illogical thoughts/fears, all that great stuff.

So now, about a week ago, I hear the voices again. It's only for a minute, they aren't saying anything I can make out, but it's them. I realise that I need to seek more professional help once again, I'm just wondering what the hell I'm going to tell my family. These are issues I've had for a decade, how do I tell them? Or, do I even tell them? I'm 22M and prepping to maybe live on my own, so now I wonder if it is even their problem. I just feel so lost. My intrusive thoughts terrify me on a daily basis. I know it is illogical to be thinking of them (they are scenarios that happened 6+ years ago, and some thoughts are of scenarios that I know never happened), but the fear feels so real.",5.244335839598996,6.202333077601413,6.045789009560938,78.29330618212201,68.31216931216932,9.777944862155387,29.559500603360252,9.93914555978268,2.817930511463846,2313,83,441,54,38,760,263,567,0.14,0.7959999999999999,0.064,-0.9932,6,0,2,1,2,0,86.0,0,0,9,1,36,19,5,3,34,1,44,9,5,5,7,86,87,29,0,10,15,2,3,2,2,5,3,7,0,2,35,17,0,2,24,1,1,5,6,12,0,4,25,11,60,7,62,52,12,73,1,1,0,1,29,29,3,12,40,301,95,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724504206748074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047286092336509884,0.09840148708163958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046829449131183,0.06679986122710431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731760044193152,0.05263807231568609,0.0,0.0672687017359333,0.0,0.09093435697718437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060378153046979514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187020120917946,0.123992973760134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085203304305726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533421713042694,0.06776789167990914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939537373311147,0.06651308412537214,0.0,0.0,0.06594537488386061,0.07810937134569458,0.053486303641764425,0.0,0.0,0.05314206573329935,0.0,0.16722698376727285,0.13307496369665814,0.08969343457005388,0.04224235222602496,0.0,0.0,0.05404358041913936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045683549013349437,0.0,0.09267866479541616,0.0,0.10081451090793027,0.04959528410240311,0.04729151531099618,0.06519083067196582,0.0,0.0,0.2091532033497579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328719967344688,0.0,0.03963346913129037,0.12494779370099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702969917539727,0.05867721830653739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998480155333708,0.0963973836654634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04176513757970822,0.057775682480244235,0.11852721879384726,0.0522127106645524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454717886788462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0394696112006036,0.0,0.1188076951277581,0.0,0.0,0.059567068651746026,0.059588946850673126,0.06272739036214829,0.059704257947670925,0.0,0.04719685484446731,0.0,0.0,0.08768801837695607,0.04560455918658888,0.0,0.06288522992210523,0.0,0.05793466504059591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297132404425425,0.1202036804440616,0.08994177882300422,0.0,0.06937609861702633,0.06565666290989937,0.0,0.0,0.040993169141280136,0.05162987441789882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663001855074301,0.0,0.0,0.056579248069648085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673026755505902,0.03788007411036237,0.06079529870479691,0.0,0.0,0.06698255463873243,0.0,0.0,0.1410672084762785,0.0,0.11968506077040032,0.0,0.053829563548603285,0.0,0.0,0.060695906205887835,0.14673838399448158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104204205674596,0.05848089977694844,0.0,0.04185238796650565,0.0,0.04722114728323493,0.09887034734228632,0.0,0.0,0.20306847723785496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504619579796994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19641611107939294,0.03788799841073898,0.0,0.23471234442457484,0.13791628442188664,0.0,0.0,0.05650107295458241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213835173929807,0.06512313831211905,0.048788290614669716,0.0,0.0,0.04743037158352995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128247525863624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801649852325076,0.0,0.0,0.11423298819441342
mentalhealth,issathrowaway12,2018/03/12,"Anxious about developing schizophrenia Hi guys, I am a 21 year old female. 
Health wise, I don’t really suffer from any illnesses and lived a relatively normal childhood. However, I developed depression and anxiety at a young age. 

As an adolescent, my anxiety was severe and often caused sleep disruptions. When my sleep cycle was extremely irregular, I sometimes had hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations (hallucinations which occur while falling asleep or waking up. They’re relatively common and as far as I know, typically benign and often due to irregular sleep. ) 
When I had these, I would hear taunting voices or see giant spiders (fun, right?) 

It’s been a while since I’ve experienced that, and my anxiety has improved drastically. While I do have issues to an extent with depression and ADD to this day, I’m doing much better than I was when I was younger. 

Last night though, each time I drifted into sleep I would hear a voice. It was very clear at the time but I can’t remember what it was saying. I just know it was urging me to do something and taunting me (as it did before. ) usually I am immediately aware I’m hallucinating, but last night I was convinced it was coming from my phone or my laptop or that someone was in my room and become extremely afraid. It took me a while to go back to bed. 

Since then I can’t stop googling schizophrenia symptoms and wondering if I’m developing it. I don’t have any actual symptoms of it though, so I know that I’m probably being ridiculous. But..I do have the common risk factors (anxiety, depression, substance abuse problems in the past, advanced paternal age (my dad was 40, my mom was 32, not sure if that’s really considered advanced or not), a family history of bipolar disorder, depression, alcoholism, etc. 

So here I am at 1am afraid to even try to sleep and worrying I may be losing my grasp of reality over something that I know is harmless, right? ",6.927118207571469,7.740195331444756,7.8495969611125425,67.36359451455064,64.52407932011332,11.404017512232812,35.3089106361061,11.20814326018867,4.346723512747875,1524,68,256,44,22,514,188,353,0.168,0.774,0.057,-0.9898,1,0,3,0,1,0,52.0,0,0,0,4,14,18,1,3,12,0,37,13,7,1,2,47,52,37,0,6,12,2,0,0,0,3,6,5,2,1,18,17,1,1,7,0,0,7,6,11,0,0,17,7,34,7,28,30,4,48,0,6,1,0,8,13,0,11,28,173,52,1,0.0,0.10577811894135558,0.08712103928053305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540948644965508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214222375054583,0.0,0.2731852805387593,0.10085709547132676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864816000209198,0.0,0.0,0.09859894077983404,0.07596777268744348,0.0,0.0,0.07895785782314697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171161423695584,0.0,0.07690384695641124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757599224274599,0.0,0.3075750636544979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231866646869396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956695790043453,0.058966322521502114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416199054594438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050737923526357004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839782538691067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489680309442873,0.20124233158011548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318152853417852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962562391486974,0.14554461564642998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883283359539095,0.0,0.0,0.09987762887017962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045596220940723,0.0,0.0,0.06562854014055194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755999802023774,0.08747206859058336,0.0,0.0,0.09368072643025617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522457350088976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625522591221876,0.08542560597327971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438569424631012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011329332727844,0.15248338016458646,0.0,0.07099629975175586,0.0,0.0,0.07114185557750778,0.0,0.0,0.10085709547132676,0.0,0.14770097753670816,0.0,0.44670514678076784,0.0,0.07564373524992822,0.13745890723341864,0.08829679558764647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463919743248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414209644476069,0.1855850478383793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754275238067958,0.0,0.10411575420567573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918953739981284,0.06061292050734464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832551232116576,0.07366250758631827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681661550174507,0.0,0.09066467508389173,0.0,0.12683900625711006,0.0,0.0,0.057491174306133236
mentalhealth,neetnitnootnoot,2018/03/12,"Intrusive thoughts I’m on 50mg desvenlafaxine and 30mg mirtazapine. I’ve been on des for about 4 weeks and mirt for about 4 months. I got switched to it from Zoloft back in November when I was admitted to a psych ward for suicidal ideation. 

I’m confessing to the fact that I haven’t been taking it for over a week, because I haven’t had the money to go buy a new script. I’m afraid of seeing the pharmacist and asking for a sub and he finding out that I probably haven’t been taking it for over week, and I’m scared. I’ve always had this thing of disappointing people so when it comes to stuff like this, I just avoidavoidavoid. In the past, I’ve even gone as far as switching doctors, pharmacies and the like to avoid the confrontation and difficult conversation of feeling like a total idiot. 

Because of this, intrusive thoughts are back with a vengeance. Every time I look at my ceiling fan, I see a flashing image of hanging myself. It sometimes gets so intense that I have the sensations one might feel when undergoing that act. My throat tightens up and my extremities go numb. I’ve had images of stabbing myself in the throat and just slashing at my skin with a kitchen knife. I’m conscious of the fact that they are intrusive thoughts and *nothing more* but it doesn’t change how disturbing and debilitating they are. 

I don’t want to kill myself, I want to live a happy and fulfilling life with my children and my boyfriend. I need to swallow what issues I have and just go ask my pharmacist to shout me a few pills until payday. I’ve done it before so I’m sure he’ll do it for me. 

But god damn these visual thoughts are bad. ",4.084037267080749,5.7136174409937945,4.677920496894412,84.46490559006212,71.79503105590062,8.13336645962733,28.71850931677019,8.726425361277474,2.144809291925465,1304,51,259,24,25,416,164,322,0.116,0.805,0.079,-0.9414,0,4,0,0,0,2,27.0,0,0,2,0,15,17,4,4,19,0,21,10,3,1,4,44,52,26,2,3,5,0,3,3,0,2,5,1,1,1,20,19,2,1,10,0,2,7,5,12,0,1,14,7,27,5,44,36,3,32,1,1,3,0,10,12,1,1,16,164,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422697452438727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342037758084328,0.0,0.0,0.1926355625131801,0.10458749018638896,0.1527155754216976,0.0,0.10658766836629796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325092595525339,0.10790104073746727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820968057380147,0.0,0.1281852320507727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827335409129466,0.0,0.10553758037266303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266711929828427,0.08948630147549062,0.0,0.0,0.11448605192071976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544356947622068,0.0,0.21356570457866564,0.0,0.1001824608087364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334239259323133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073967433702827,0.0,0.0,0.13858245575861042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847536881055937,0.183588218976858,0.0,0.11060753298918197,0.0,0.10518747833290422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288185597912186,0.0,0.0,0.09998193184670587,0.0,0.0,0.09287925547188512,0.0,0.12097760836646013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019106342290077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487992279348687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957555494414902,0.08684002899706812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505226933881725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540785796584886,0.0,0.19963319289238052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388608001743402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339358500558794,0.13701492472404653,0.0,0.11805677005167205,0.0,0.18836098315730368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832176732803498,0.0,0.0,0.3977721600504375,0.07304054790865168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776406595196173,0.0,0.3014298428204056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A9KS49MA36VV7,2018/03/12,"I'm crippled ""literally"" by my mental health issues I'm just curious if any one else has such severe mental health issues that they literally are crippled by them? I've been fighting with the courts for years for ssi for my problems?I had an entire board of doctors that had been seeing me monthly since I was 2 all the way up to 17 at children's mercy tell me ill never be able to work and live a normal life. Some of the best doctors in the state have told me that. And I can say its true. I've tried and I'd go into detail but I don't really care enough too. Idk if this is the best sub Reddit just curios if there's other people disabled by how severe there mental health is.",3.6248936170212787,4.5776845744680825,4.8891418439716325,85.12350000000002,72.04964539007092,7.058439716312058,22.610638297872338,7.1686216300943375,0.721456170212766,539,12,110,5,10,179,97,141,0.1,0.805,0.094,0.2126,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,0,2,3,7,5,1,0,7,0,13,7,0,1,3,18,19,8,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,6,2,10,4,15,12,5,10,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,4,3,72,16,3,0.1380878623071614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390448160343663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28982938429455785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078977869574133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28267755671022243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153546899101555,0.0,0.0,0.14268167497564552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847851438519547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4403428210588762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882557037914749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753554089079963,0.0,0.0,0.1219341123041386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174802597813532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022041425852372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650187225796534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529678623175986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935719092412983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957327368404356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846262053576552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109813010547613,0.0,0.0,0.11003814796300576,0.0,0.0,0.3119999585195425,0.0,0.11422770666107952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069487812536395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194887005982722,0.0,0.09375259418122067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096077176385005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052960837811606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889240559374072
mentalhealth,IAMIAMME,2018/03/12,Highschool guy need help I just dont know what to do.  I talk to some people in my school but they never want to hang out with me. So i go home everyday and play video games . My mother doesnt have long to live and thats all i can think about. Everyday in school i cant even motivate myself to do work or even meet new people. A girlfriend isnt an option sadly I have a incredibely uneven face due to some jaw problems. Im unmotivated and this is the first time in my life ive ever felt depressed. I know this all seems like alot of incohherent rambling but i just really needed somewhere i could get this off my chest.,0.6876744186046508,3.001971875968998,2.6740775193798463,91.20832558139536,86.05426356589146,5.610542635658915,17.902325581395353,7.03164865440522,0.13245488372093028,488,12,106,7,15,163,88,129,0.118,0.794,0.087,-0.6138,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,3,7,5,0,0,5,0,12,4,3,1,4,29,22,7,0,5,5,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,6,3,0,2,5,3,0,1,1,1,17,2,14,20,5,16,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,6,10,70,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866217493124684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037014761320248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182200608256409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459611058093711,0.16842473780976486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877714277359208,0.0,0.0,0.15837803054483188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727960715123196,0.0,0.10581934944699488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843630902654634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480310270902062,0.0,0.18676954314956834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011233876544104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046566562863056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151558188736828,0.09096585023606947,0.0,0.1644142800166823,0.1647774010613436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27612361480639924,0.14360565978490106,0.1798290391275348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581694114012508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816420976534256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928178086455965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768801283224265,0.0,0.16950563994495738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965711045278093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930673394829107,0.0,0.0,0.10857225337083952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982309187840528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355527413085205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wiiiiilber,2018/03/12,"Kind of suicidal? So I am “kind of” suicidal. I like want to die, but know I’m safe because I won’t kill myself. I don’t know how to tell people this because as soon as you say you want to die you’re labeled in such extreme ways. I don’t know what to call this either. Basically, I’m lost, I’m sad, I’m depressed, and I’m confused... but I’m also fairly happy with a lot of aspects of my life, and I know I’d most likely never actually carry through with a suicide attempt at this point in my life. 

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and depression if that helps anyone with any suggestions. I am medicated for these conditions and going through therapy. 

I see a psychiatrist once a week but whenever he asks if I’m suicidal I say no. I know my medication is helping but I don’t want to admit that I am still thinking about it because I don’t want to be admitted to the hospital again since I know I’m safe. 

I’ve been like this since I was 15 and I’m almost 22 now. ",0.6128063241106716,2.6993230628019305,3.5848594642072946,86.1195553359684,84.07246376811594,7.048660518225735,24.38493631971893,8.150884317080207,1.6389729468599032,762,31,164,17,22,272,109,207,0.233,0.623,0.14400000000000002,-0.9827,0,0,0,0,0,4,23.0,0,2,0,2,9,14,1,1,5,0,13,5,0,1,1,37,39,16,7,6,7,0,0,3,0,1,5,2,0,0,9,9,0,2,9,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,4,3,21,8,24,33,3,12,0,4,1,0,13,4,0,6,9,96,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.1045887002426199,0.0,0.12880519815584254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732167707435694,0.0,0.0,0.0857089236250385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288362321042824,0.0,0.08198964811749174,0.0,0.0,0.07494022671691915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019546071628577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19600120516987926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094390813962194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18462174235020326,0.1087817839471318,0.22246435217194127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091081463736477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409126443647714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367615554251614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857480054707385,0.22321544337556976,0.3534080596933413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140371344428355,0.15708291737802393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699569472624242,0.09111753758378624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21593788301673608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826610423305998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413936183746196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430261688943758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131633487885353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046194063781722,0.0,0.0,0.08540570990826442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731484142867068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559120675870592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689343187690401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936768924178338,0.0,0.12256554714731145,0.0,0.0,0.06867430573416862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528616562950452,0.08507163297121187,0.08597043855157374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asymirical,2018/03/12,"Life Is Short? So, I hear the phrase ""life is short"" all the time. ""Life is short, eat the donut!"", and other things like that. What would your argument be against this phrase?
I understand it's important not to restrict yourself in life, but eating a donut whenever you want surely can't be a good way to live. I know it can also be a good reminder to have fun in life, and not take everything too seriously.
Why would you make healthy decisions when you are living with the mentality that ""life is short""

I guess my other question is should you live like ""life is short"", or should you make healthier, long-term decisions?

(also, sorry this sounds like word vomit. recovering from a pretty nasty tbi)",4.786946564885497,6.492369259541987,4.831977099236641,83.75224045801528,70.14503816793894,8.5987786259542,26.07709923664122,9.120678840339163,1.9773047328244269,547,17,106,11,10,170,81,131,0.109,0.693,0.198,0.9232,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,6,0,0,5,8,0,0,8,0,17,10,0,2,2,24,25,8,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,4,8,2,0,0,10,3,2,1,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,11,7,8,18,1,10,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,3,5,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047500085102411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619863314426567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505326274067768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474886885915093,0.0,0.0,0.14102495935721432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428425948813944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703546960352723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6329544583441754,0.18762765479747592,0.0,0.3391235908276444,0.1132908567501961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709044420864482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901084411844374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023912824802633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340813579848838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433043484719207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065433730555608,0.0,0.09625271632927247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504868646970644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464763689956867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332700237928638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550763690724875,0.10161379257916167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551526780226785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818789510966578,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DDisconnect,2018/03/12,"How to get past negative self-comparisons? If I look at a cool cake someone made, I'll feel bad because I could never do something cool like that.  If someone talks about how they built their cool new PC I'll feel bad because I don't even understand half of the terms they used in the process and it all seems so natural to them.  If someone talks about a really exciting happy experience they had, I'll feel envious since I don't get to feel excited or happy about anything.

Now part of that is anhedonia/possible alexithymia.  I don't get a strong pleasure/motivation signal from anything.  I don't have to like baking, PCs or whatever, but I do have to like *something*. But even though I don't express these thoughts to people online or in the flesh - I don't want to make anyone feel bad - I don't like that my first inclination is to feel envious or bad about myself when someone's done something worthwhile.  

Like, realistically, I'm never going to be the best at anything.  This is true from a probabilistic and considering my latent potential.  Yet, my brain still uses that as a stick to beat myself up with - if it isn't going to be great it isn't worth doing at all.  It's a battle with myself to just do anything sometimes.

Truthfully, I know posting this that I don't really expect any answers.  I think I'm stuck with a lot of this stuff for life, and don't really know what to do with that knowledge.  But if I don't at least try a little, it'll be a certainty - and it's integral that this be solved because I can't live a meaningful life otherwise.",5.1197572815533965,5.784537051779939,6.168833333333335,78.35325000000002,68.44983818770226,9.545695792880258,30.66035598705501,9.642632912329526,2.758790161812297,1235,47,241,26,20,412,144,309,0.108,0.715,0.177,0.9683,0,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,5,4,15,24,3,0,14,3,31,5,2,6,6,52,57,22,0,8,13,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,20,8,1,0,15,0,1,2,16,7,0,2,5,10,26,17,35,46,7,21,0,0,1,0,8,8,0,11,15,163,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529438703923872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713684024647526,0.0,0.3160529859487535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206784511543093,0.17559196410378533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076319931880943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718596253354812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666121496048209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825802684824132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683574159392216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392238058716428,0.0,0.0,0.29129240432494624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816714288636657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049368567103533,0.0,0.1091365695232992,0.0,0.0,0.10585832674043606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442230640492065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553611184495257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563832627073036,0.23454360876381175,0.09623357246243754,0.08478416563433809,0.0,0.08062952264297908,0.0,0.0,0.08162963781151411,0.0,0.09085295924711104,0.06409163613539022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810740337148412,0.0927331557678918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397631290034276,0.09165843756043444,0.06656562354481096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919570888308906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453153092821695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740964745634958,0.10016595738466384,0.0,0.0,0.0794256883375436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254172499517968,0.22175415167636447,0.09496259110140624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667875354005213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991570947707856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434855463524902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152337796532921,0.09433554241875404,0.07622622933318476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518877550757142,0.0,0.0,0.09995637057071344,0.0,0.16585453659202715,0.0,0.0,0.056632910543713576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MarconiTransmission,2018/03/12,"I want to kill myself No one cares, no one. I just want to end it all.",-3.049999999999997,-1.6421074705882326,0.2191176470588232,108.63102941176471,94.29411764705885,3.4000000000000004,8.5,3.1291,-2.5314470588235296,51,0,16,0,2,18,12,17,0.384,0.38,0.236,-0.6705,0,1,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40697173044218254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35353859288906303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44161303569395627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5409642969466777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4708715643283972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dswchui,2018/03/12,"Something is wrong .... where do I begin? I am a 36yo father with 2 sons, quite happily married. Life has been going quite well for my whole life aside from some family issues I've gone through right after I graduated from college. Recently, I have been hitting a streak at work where my performance is being questioned, the quality of my deliverables were at an all time low, etc. Colleagues and team leader are not happy with me, though they know that I am able to put out quality work and can contribute to the team. I just got pulled aside by my team leader a few days ago and got royally grilled about it, and now I've been put on performance review and need to provide daily AM/PM updates to him and all the PM's I work for with the list of tasks I have on hand. To me, that's downright shameful and I shed a few tears about it (no joke). I used to be a team leader who asks those who are under performing to do the same thing, not the other way around. So, my head has been wrapped up in his mess for a while and I started to ask myself a lot of questions about what led up to this. Now is the time when my family needs me the most to be good at who I am and what I do to support them. I really can't spend more time and energy to figure out what's wrong and I hope I can come to this community for help.

Where do I begin?",5.381304347826087,4.5767214782608745,6.164985507246377,83.63508695652177,67.91304347826087,9.678840579710146,28.54492753623188,9.029198982220553,1.914016231884058,1032,28,230,16,15,341,149,276,0.07400000000000001,0.8390000000000001,0.087,0.657,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,12,14,11,0,1,16,0,27,4,2,2,2,36,44,15,0,3,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,15,18,0,0,4,5,1,8,4,5,1,0,8,1,31,6,43,32,11,41,0,1,0,0,18,17,0,6,15,168,46,10,0.12795339927108784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342296818748132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390565304724055,0.2392383117584332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102205237037862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251935720923702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427018631408507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412461545437357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271886549300255,0.10732124060067838,0.20467204432512406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620877280786453,0.0,0.0,0.13131710220871953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576446638951045,0.0,0.0,0.12708659641941866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133550105502235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070319841968912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807545398734842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087814044034204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975164853575294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25725701446692323,0.2866741813894028,0.2721883804400726,0.0,0.0,0.08197022400709958,0.0,0.12633854536709374,0.0,0.0,0.10927150385201316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850477799637886,0.0,0.0,0.09056607457660776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520000117644793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500655292739699,0.0,0.12571356512895154,0.0,0.22383196826685334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051065459103587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156345260089072,0.0,0.0,0.11504547253020672,0.0,0.0,0.14285540080684933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27945479576094684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797939112836137,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoxiousOchako,2018/03/12,"I want to be normal again.... So, some backstory: I  was bullied all throughout middle school and high school. People would call me things like ""ugly."" My cousin would bully me too, calling me ugly and fat. It continued and continued until tenth grade came around, and I guess you can say my mind...broke.

I did some things I am NOT proud of, but eventually I got somewhat ""better."" My issues shifted to a mindset that made me think that I was insulting others, but nothing was actually being said. I fight to keep these horrible thoughts away, to prevent myself from actually saying these mean things. Yet...sometimes, I hear the person's voice respond to whatever mean thing is on my mind at the moment. 

However, my mouth remains closed... So how could I be saying things to people? It still feels real.




I've been to countless professionals. One psychologist stood out to me. He said he thinks this is essentially ""baiting."" In all honesty, I think my mind has tricked me into thinking I'm baiting people (hearing their response, despite my mouth being closed). I've noticed that the things that pop into my mind are things /I/ was called. 

I'm currently on medication. I'll be perfectly honest: This is still happening, despite the medication. :( I see a therapist, though. It's helpful to talk about things  with him! He recently suggested that maybe I'm still recovering. 

I just want to live a normal life and not suffer like this. ",4.027448767448767,6.79163980694981,4.650984555984556,79.45994579744581,75.64092664092664,7.382298782298782,27.722156222156226,8.384062270229773,2.338908999108999,1126,46,190,22,26,359,151,259,0.084,0.79,0.126,0.9052,2,0,0,0,1,0,60.0,0,1,1,3,12,10,3,0,7,0,21,6,3,2,3,48,46,12,0,7,5,1,1,2,0,2,4,8,0,1,22,13,1,2,8,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,13,10,32,6,24,25,5,24,0,1,1,0,24,13,0,4,12,132,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.16815021078799985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669644708362018,0.0,0.0,0.08094570251932258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619732584674149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639224585810533,0.09853866504141004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878796433060133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04356268796593893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890623159224547,0.0,0.0949097317582845,0.0,0.07618681159560653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420647844719974,0.0,0.057748054483037436,0.09102776209518786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992370725811133,0.0,0.07657875339130714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608540078198807,0.08418221601070301,0.0,0.07607667272767638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152218984843168,0.0,0.0,0.08655453839423344,0.1876966701247464,0.0,0.17358472025251487,0.0,0.0,0.3479690086588359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688277239692609,0.08266829527523886,0.09808833416949404,0.0,0.0,0.0583810336692177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791876272925651,0.07522744958208331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806354729319493,0.0,0.0,0.08506792507787292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390676260754478,0.20554236152965566,0.0,0.17438744479518892,0.06865458739930552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520975479963791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20641110499541607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924833422091263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100032896894951,0.4579018100640268,0.2208192464029561,0.08464710519334008,0.06839765254347042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016332087204011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240444911129042,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThickFishingLine,2018/03/12,"Constantly Afraid of Death and Paranoid I literally can't shake my fear of dying, I think about this all the time. I'm super paranoid about it, driving especially scares me.

This isn't from overvaluing my life or anything. If I die I feel like everyone who made my life harder will win. Because they get to lead a fulfilling life and I don't even have a chance to. Success is the best revenge and all that.

Another reason is the thought of dying without leaving anything behind gives me literal anxiety. That's why I badly want to have kids now (I didn't before my depression).

Another reason is I feel like if I die without accomplishing anything or procreating it'll be a literal loss to humanity. No this isn't a troll, I'm extremely arrogant in the weirdest way. It doesn't translate into any real confidence though.

Yes I know I'm weird, please no judgement. Just wondering if anyone else understands my insane logic.",3.2070508166969134,6.0084561781609205,4.799969751966124,76.9604264972777,79.17241379310346,8.26085904416213,29.847549909255896,8.99025400887824,3.2146482758620696,741,36,125,20,19,248,108,174,0.224,0.604,0.172,-0.8166,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,7,6,14,0,4,8,1,14,3,0,4,2,28,28,9,5,4,8,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,2,9,4,0,0,10,0,0,3,10,8,0,0,3,2,18,6,15,22,3,9,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,6,5,80,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228654187207478,0.2537654789826271,0.0925673603440086,0.0,0.0,0.08460847350906983,0.12398240409378873,0.2987267563263611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010328835100464,0.0737626216780468,0.0,0.10296508179389413,0.0,0.12698572719472306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076181605944054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422015305505376,0.0,0.5023301922624842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010829127572206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992168266524872,0.0,0.0,0.11562404728459272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361625991352962,0.1223660292632176,0.1728898753876923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321934410692183,0.11607760077072755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650036917512432,0.0,0.0,0.1281252544141844,0.0,0.0,0.25640509054998684,0.1182324138935416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144964548146629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282552648440618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772849493488984,0.0,0.2488235399626786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114563111255318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753416865699655,0.11888534242002735,0.09606327735347422,0.07055812464008376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596893003076626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137101022163278,0.09604696062379353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918685442636117,0.0,0.0,0.23328614735633876,0.1312231539966274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scissorsandmore,2018/03/12,"My boss causes PTSD triggers, what should I do? I work in a fast-food store but our store is being remodled so we have been transferred to a different store. The manager there is easily angered and yells a lot. I've been trying to deal with it, but the other day she got mad and yelled at me repetitively without letting me respond which really made me upset and uncontrollably cry. I want to continue working, but it is at the point where I'm extremely uncomfortable around her and I'm in a fight orr flight mode when she is near. ( I have ptsd from verbal and physical abuse along with other traumas in my childhood, a big trigger is people yelling or raising their voice) ",7.391029900332228,7.0702737286821735,7.513421926910301,74.0183720930233,63.65116279069768,10.782281284606864,34.707641196013284,10.290406445055957,3.4581176079734224,537,21,99,11,7,174,89,129,0.254,0.715,0.031,-0.9889,1,0,0,0,3,0,12.0,2,0,1,2,5,6,3,2,8,0,13,0,0,5,0,23,18,11,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,6,10,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,6,0,0,4,4,15,0,15,11,1,15,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,2,5,71,21,5,0.0,0.24757987956504776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601603406116746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465640186029444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295294558489935,0.13475998030556866,0.21542549474524986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831559382643367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25267163736943105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712200382522358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21367269276167788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764777151434352,0.0,0.1977201685373174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486447568839264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753190863700446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4885191087731163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338632067240981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186808868868211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324825421487773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142709417239416,0.0,0.30424637359169354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Egyptianhoe,2018/03/12,"I [18F] just found out my 15 year old sister harms herself. So yesterday I was talking to my sister about mental health. She told me that she has always self harmed herself, but didn’t actually realize what she was doing until recently. When I asked her what made her do that she said it’s always because of pressure/insecurities and sometimes it happens when we fight. She also has lots of insecurities and most of them are just made up in her head. I cried and hugged her and told her I am sorry for everything and to forgive me. And that she can always come and talk to me whenever she has the urge to do it, to just come and talk to me/fight me whatever. I need help on how to help her and make her feel better.",3.497537878787881,4.886808375000001,4.757121212121213,84.2727272727273,72.8888888888889,7.736363636363637,24.896464646464647,8.296473431620573,1.4201888888888887,562,17,116,9,11,186,83,144,0.103,0.787,0.11,0.4678,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,1,0,1,1,9,7,1,1,1,0,12,3,1,4,0,28,25,16,0,1,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,13,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,9,2,30,3,17,16,2,13,0,0,0,1,32,4,0,2,7,88,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.14787376001392266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118040260352975,0.3782612782786113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416623352051833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923727423341653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401809041048005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610634836979234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645122196300166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618754696234994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661933262704387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614745119441726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399959763736044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551595573913504,0.16107185133189295,0.0,0.0,0.203137942197692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882742451592086,0.0,0.2867672346282124,0.1011490512232704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527090147076822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235935182384273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159007759462909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961996037825329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414200948606126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808133736711935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498694146506069,0.16962811155922647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653880006915077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28959139695631936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758189505624236
mentalhealth,Bandit080,2018/03/12,"Is there a point in therapy if you don't know what's wrong? I feel like my mental health has been declining for years, but I don't know what's wrong. Would it be weird to see a therapist if I don't know what the problem is? Is there even a point?",1.887181818181816,2.5734191272727287,3.2888636363636365,95.97329545454546,75.9090909090909,7.6818181818181825,21.022727272727273,8.07648339933343,0.4499999999999993,192,4,50,3,4,63,36,55,0.108,0.75,0.142,0.2018,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,0,0,9,15,3,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,5,1,3,12,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,2,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148484298630412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367024207585727,0.16060367494241448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23896157411896224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706476270146886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983037685714664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265547098078085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250345522199775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21511195960024485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914375658818366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570888125377061,0.2610207068601689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969794348458596,0.4915869469496111,0.0,0.1447696978418843
mentalhealth,AnxiousPath,2018/03/12,"Not sure where to go for help - anxiety/depression, lack of social contact, mid-age TL;DR - probably feeling anxious/depressed or something, and not sure who to talk to.  Various aggravating factors.  Apologies for the wall of text, but honestly writing it out has been at least a little helpful.

I am from the mid-atlantic USA.

So, I’m hoping to get a bit of advice about what the best course of action is for me.  I have gone to see a therapist for a few weeks about nine months ago, but honestly I don’t feel like I got too far with it - maybe it just wasn’t a good fit.  Honestly, I’m not sure how to even start with something like this.  So, let me start with my “symptoms.”  I’ll just try to get to the point as I suspect this will get long as it is.

I’m in my 40s.  My wife passed away about two years ago.  I have no friends, really, but I get along really well with my immediate family (parents, siblings, etc).  I live alone, and have stepchildren in their 20s who I get along with, but don’t see often.  I have what any normal person would consider a great job, and no issues at all paying the bills.

However, I feel like I’ve been struggling with what is probably anxiety and depression.  I tend to get pretty lonely - I try to get out of the house and walk around malls and such, but that is about the only regular social contact I have (I mostly work from home).  I have a few hobbies, and I do get some pleasure out of them, but I tend to get tired of them and have plenty of empty hours left to fill.  I do try to eat out with family but even if I manage to set up a couple of meals in a week I’m still alone almost all the time.  At work I feel like I’m procrastinating things more and more which I know I need to do but which are tedious, and that concerns me, because I’m not at a point where I can afford to just give up working.  I do tend to neglect things that I don’t view as essential (paint peeling on my house in various places, but if something more serious is wrong I tend to get on it quickly).

Personality wise I’m probably an INTP (just my sense of it plus random tests which probably are only somewhat reliable).  I suspect I might be a bit autistic but never was diagnosed (occasional balance issues, strong reactions to loud noises, difficulty relating to people, lack of empathy at times, etc).  IQ-wise I’m around the 99.9th percentile, which probably doesn’t help with relating to people (and I can certainly vouch that IQ alone isn’t all there is to success in life).  I actually don’t mind having relatively normal conversation with people, and I enjoy spending time with people I’m close to, but I also tend to get tired of it somewhat quickly.  I guess socialization wise I’d be happiest in hit-and-run encounters - have a meal, be on my own for a few hours, have another meal/etc, then be alone again.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I have some ADHD or OCD or something going on.

I’ll just be honest and say that I’m not sure how much I really miss my wife specifically, vs the void it has left socially.  It isn’t like life was completely happy when she was around, and in some ways it is better now, but in other ways worse.  Maybe I miss what I would have hoped that our relationship would have been, but wasn’t.

Obviously I’ve coped with a lot of this stuff for a long time.  I guess what is driving me towards looking for some kind of help is the fact that I feel like I’m suffering.  I’ve had heart palpitations (which are benign - I now see a cardiologist), sometimes I get shivers when I’m stressed, and I don’t have a lot of confidence that these things will improve on their own - these are all new issues in the last year for the most part.  I feel like there is a potential risk of losing my job at some point, and a lack of motivation in general.  While it doesn’t happen often there have been days when I’ve struggled to get up at a normal time, even after going to bed 10 hours before my planned wakeup time.  Often I am up for hours at night.  I was stressed about something at work and had an episode of sleep paralysis (which is very rare for me) combined with hallucinations (which I recognized as such while experiencing them, and I haven’t had that issue since I was a kid).  I do try to relax, though I struggle with being disciplined about doing things like meditation.  Earlier today I was hugging a pillow and shaking.  I’m just tired of feeling so miserable at times (though, to be fair I feel fine or even happy at other times - probably when I’m more distracted by other people or activities I find interesting).

I have tried doing things like meetups to try to get more social contact, but honestly I feel like I don’t maintain much interest in the activities themselves, and I find the social contact really shallow.  I don’t really care for a lot of small talk - I’d rather spend time with people I know really well.  I realize that getting from A to B does require some small talk, but it is hard running into people I might want a close friendship with, or who might be looking for something similar.

So, I feel like I probably should talk to some kind of therapist.  However, what kind should I talk to?  Should I try to use my insurance from my employer for this, or just pay for it myself?  (Honestly, the costs seem awfully high; I guess I can afford it but I’ve been trying to save like crazy in case I do lose my job at some point.)  If there are 20 people in my area that have the necessary qualifications (whatever those might be), how do I pick which one is the best for me?  I’ve already established that I don’t know anybody who can recommend somebody in particular.  If I do go through my employer it almost seems like I have to call up Blue Cross and tell them what I think is wrong so that they can tell me who I can see or something, which seems really odd.

If this were some kind of physical symptom I’d just ask my primary doctor what to do and take their advice.  I feel like there is just nowhere reliable to start with something like this.  I feel silly even guessing at what might be wrong with me but do it mostly to give people some kind of sense of my symptoms.
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mentalhealth,niceloner10463484,2018/03/12,"Looking through Psychologytoday for a possible good therapist. I am about to post a link of a photo with all the treatment orientation types: https://imgur.com/a/k5ksq

To help you better determine, this link is for what as my issues: https://imgur.com/a/rlKJC

So basically, I am a recent college grad/young adult from a state I spent my formal years in (as in the last half of my life). Moved out to a state with much quicker pace of life and different culture cuz parents noped out of the other state after I finished high school. So I have to deal with being in a state I dislike many things about, living with parents who happen to be (educated) immigrants (so a cultural add on to the natural generational divide). I'm working and doing some uber on the side to save money for a move out. I'm 24 and really would dread being in my current state (geography state) past my late 20s. Some days I feel older than I am, but not exactly in a physical or mental way.

I have Aspergers-diagnosed in around 5th grade, have a history of getting anxious and sometimes letting my mind slip into depression. Been seeing therapists in college from 2014-2017. Right now, I feel like I'm more in a life transition/existential crisis, but I know those things can build up the anxiety and could potentially be a recipe for another bout of depression if I'm not too careful in handling it. I'm more or less looking for someone I could dump my brain's garbage out on a periodic basis, and could help me slowly but timely dig into my subconscious brain, figure out what may be causing the 'cells' to act the way they do, and make adjustments as needed in a training wheels type way if that makes sense. Baby steps into a more peaceful-on-average day to day mental state, but not seeking some elusive perfection as that's impossible. I'd be the one driving the 'car' but the therapist would be like my backseat driving instructor, sometimes going into the front if needed.  

On this sub's end, if I could get more insight into the definitions of the treatment orientation types, I'd very much appreciate it.",8.545465116279074,8.012751214470285,8.635052971576227,67.6180058139535,61.4031007751938,11.8743669250646,37.954651162790704,11.20814326018867,4.373653333333333,1668,72,284,40,20,547,208,387,0.077,0.848,0.075,-0.3895,4,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,1,3,8,11,1,1,30,0,26,5,2,4,3,66,47,26,0,12,14,2,2,2,0,3,3,0,0,1,13,23,0,0,8,0,2,9,4,4,0,2,2,5,25,7,62,30,11,65,0,2,3,0,12,29,0,10,18,197,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976163509474184,0.07278114628786585,0.10748009563606664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469396406908343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414279699799042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124133859555453,0.0,0.0,0.09700064673470857,0.09773405651889328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30384329918435393,0.0,0.0,0.18407053436367507,0.098084228080678,0.16388632402294898,0.09656417746257093,0.0,0.0994001036124474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426499825591681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621036878846193,0.06796738756252634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941249949376173,0.0,0.05406973944176927,0.079798157967749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841311863740085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275394581476091,0.10051967601280726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930049593006222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228595780569943,0.07755105942665251,0.10732104168224146,0.0,0.0,0.09728616919846332,0.2015986664729382,0.09296031105968892,0.0,0.0840095627828542,0.0,0.15978575466180078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701216764917328,0.0964561083598157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175565903014588,0.0,0.09606336354920944,0.0,0.0,0.20223560031645815,0.13987636145574536,0.1410888649790831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446871212307645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128140924453465,0.0,0.09082103016760734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072550332566366,0.09111695290822584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060948539612101324,0.0,0.09393837738170203,0.0,0.0,0.08124826620482918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096285842077405,0.07581353999403638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061104537005997,0.0,0.18818999277678936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313914619582172,0.12641237281320364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055476370635859765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849971609008721,0.0,0.2265509527014721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926239332855208,0.0,0.0,0.1351681650080192,0.0,0.0,0.06126645709730641
mentalhealth,GriffinLockyer,2018/03/13,"YouTube Channel for Mental Health Support and Relatability. Hey guys! I'm new here to Reddit, however I know a lot of people who use it frequently. I've suffered from mental health issues my whole life (social anxiety, ADD and depression). I started a YouTube channel today as a way to help myself and others through barriers in mental health and life in general, from my experiences. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPsvpKlIpoI , and if you watch it, I would appreciate any comments/feedback related to the video and/or theme.",9.253666666666668,11.168643922222225,7.960000000000001,64.71000000000001,59.77777777777778,10.888888888888893,38.33333333333333,10.864195022040775,4.7716666666666665,443,21,62,11,6,135,65,90,0.055,0.851,0.094,0.5411,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,2,5,0,1,0,14,7,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,1,11,6,2,7,0,2,1,0,6,2,0,2,4,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135571506265544,0.0,0.12774489536853936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382599328568535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334570861553085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653437686333201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5324993568408634,0.0,0.0,0.11192812677053723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429144922309014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177190178779183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358962622285249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419667064334733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048520361766121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612774606687386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576802972185075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022261366535446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819453327305132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189495309921818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582845192609148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422348878594965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254681660744644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643545613338725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862304990231827,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rileyjamesmcallister,2018/03/13,"Psychiatry drop-out trying to start a wellness vlog Hey /r/mentalhealth, first time poster here. 

As the title suggests, I got my MD at UT Health San Antonio and completed a psychiatry internship at the same institution before deciding that was not my path. If I'm being honest with myself, a big part of why I pursued the psychiatry path was to figure out my own issues.

I've lived with pretty severe depression for most of my life up until about 3-4 years ago, and I think I'll always probably deal with anxiety, haha. The thing is, during my training I came to realize most if not all of my problems were *functional* - how I was living, and the environment I was living, were the root causes of my difficulties with mental wellness.

Even though psychiatry wasn't right for me, I will always be passionate about and interested in mental health. Right now, I'm trying to work in the health education/promotion world, and I'm trying to teach/motivate preventive lifestyle choices that might be helpful for people with experiences similar to my own.

I started an Instagram account (@rileyjamesmcallister, for the curious) back in February. Obviously I haven't been doing this for long so the videos are, uhhh, a work in progress, but I do think I'm getting better!

The problem is, I've been running into some writer's block lately. I think it's mostly just anxiety about putting myself ""out there"", subject to evaluation by friends, family, strangers, etc. I'm not naturally extraverted, so I'm still getting used to it.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you had any advice or suggestions for posts. I want them to be as helpful as possible, and I don't mind sharing my knowledge for free, so I have no problem talking transparently about any topics y'all might like to hear about.

Full disclosure, this is almost a verbatim cross-post from /r/sanantonio - no one was able to reply over there, so I figured I'd try seeing if anyone here had any suggestions.

Thanks!

Edit: Just wanted to make an addendum - I 100% believe in psychiatry and see its value. In my experience, however, I didn't see enough being done (at least not in my community) to prevent mental illness. So that's what I'm here for!",7.3068555008210145,7.765414788177343,8.155283251231527,66.72369663382597,63.67980295566503,11.495730706075534,35.63587848932677,11.20814326018867,4.333318883415435,1748,76,290,48,24,590,225,406,0.085,0.7979999999999999,0.117,0.8977,2,0,0,0,0,0,70.0,0,2,1,5,26,16,0,0,17,1,32,6,0,5,2,61,58,24,0,9,12,0,0,1,1,3,5,1,0,0,10,16,0,3,9,1,2,3,10,4,2,2,17,4,35,13,57,33,13,36,0,1,3,1,14,20,0,13,13,206,45,3,0.08722397593236382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523425978874467,0.07731879187048367,0.0,0.08734221241904322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451546706855087,0.0,0.0,0.23726117868636096,0.0,0.13345220569147506,0.0,0.0,0.06098903203036469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706985347726797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422117916905517,0.09827155180804452,0.0,0.07714251853095618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976099173430153,0.0,0.08960305023250302,0.0,0.0,0.09145267925949564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992408919433642,0.07512588266000099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926041089642198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012568357660523,0.0972777897813423,0.05761061347441729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064357086121287,0.08222700177396869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419266936967991,0.0,0.0,0.06738902743691691,0.0,0.09114185477563028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697609816149535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781450229173161,0.09830776012125314,0.0,0.11692878492992125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103916937299948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839244406067887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061608873720452914,0.04261322878734808,0.0,0.23106110629678614,0.07719047392168964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058222681240126035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637037573252176,0.18506170914723694,0.0880713509311778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05910522346600958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445506602034576,0.0,0.06047012238871065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983319272205322,0.16707291601858554,0.08873814110859805,0.0940421986278599,0.25038469533604824,0.0,0.08768418723583284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489775977250622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085186476755823,0.0,0.0,0.09853826548590047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347515820853493,0.0,0.06965717985138871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010732786894835,0.0,0.08030411812777231,0.0,0.0,0.057947733853663086,0.16766880548302354,0.08569711349323261,0.0,0.050861001802794986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368774165036913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533350994369667,0.0,0.0,0.10289392180039818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684965908318166,0.0,0.07870607145737309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459068117294264,0.12700018662260087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616938075005835
mentalhealth,Cavallin,2018/03/13,"Need help to deal with paranoia Didn’t know where to turn but guessed this was the right place.

So to keep this short, I am right now 18y/o and I got a great life tbh, I am really well known, I have a lot of friends and a lot of good friends.
But I have a constant paranoia about everything all the time. It’s not until now I have realized it’s not normal to think as I do(from reading Reddit to be honest), if someone that I don’t usually hang out with wants to hang out I instantly question this. I am also very good at making up far fetched, but not unrealistic reasons they could have, and these reasons are always, for me, bad.

Like I had this good friend who was dating another of my good friends. They broke up and domen days after this she asked if I wanted to go for a walk and just talk(we were pretty close friends, talking a lot but never on a walk.), I instantly questioned why she would want this in my head and the only reason I could imagine was because she wanted to get back on her ex and make him jealous(?), even though he could have no way of knowing we were with each other?

I also constantly stay super vary of my surroundings and also always on alert as I am dead sure(no pun intended) I could be killed/attacked in any second by some stranger.
Things like these happen in all forms every single day, most common things surround personal relationships with people.

I could really use some help on how to battle this shit because I understand it’s not healthy for me tbh.

Thanks for reading,
Peace.",5.294173560992782,5.8581368929765905,5.425629290617851,84.19254004576659,68.03010033444815,8.301425805315965,29.78366484773808,8.20500826718156,1.9349959866220736,1197,42,239,15,19,377,172,299,0.1,0.672,0.228,0.9935,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,2,1,14,21,3,0,10,0,26,3,2,8,3,68,47,23,1,14,11,1,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,1,17,17,0,1,12,2,0,5,8,5,1,1,8,0,32,16,40,31,11,42,0,1,0,0,25,21,1,11,16,170,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292558139208824,0.14076146557557834,0.0,0.0,0.057520076822811315,0.08869378584866625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907469941578206,0.0962266051514092,0.0,0.06503993861729765,0.07062417606712201,0.10312334360020274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828106889440655,0.0,0.33766753727292464,0.0,0.0,0.10909947189215527,0.08720247530283227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05586698896473557,0.0,0.07126573784927666,0.0,0.07601871961677574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267472627968383,0.0,0.04419169218912029,0.0,0.04807108350206092,0.283780462386692,0.06764961792643276,0.09325424990642713,0.09317890330938844,0.0,0.07479742508594704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868076714718749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338985550363335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518221920566392,0.0,0.0,0.09297039969537407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974423913744209,0.08264702070814416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157310873497388,0.0,0.0,0.112921064164118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271802564283424,0.06523645910662489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287444225287642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433000648199982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863995289143165,0.07385555854981096,0.08837236373246174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860524207447756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895070614486004,0.0,0.16921394492878006,0.0,0.10837345869503676,0.2608995737643385,0.0,0.09081165022896692,0.0,0.14446868912088162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682434549886743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716678188794648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015537800547987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971949703722872,0.0,0.0,0.13597096354965527,0.0,0.07787365922182546,0.0,0.0,0.11238781233154624,0.05419806490928431,0.08310343190429884,0.0,0.04932165889387597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200319316681896,0.0,0.08805501322344393,0.0,0.07305348988460618,0.0931574172663635,0.0697907266802834,0.1995595341581928,0.06713890786985427,0.0,0.0,0.07605124858645916,0.0,0.07632397852384137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008610559256121,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,damnhait,2018/03/13,"Is this depression? I know that self diagnosis is not the best thing but i want to know if this is something normal or not. I looked up for symptoms in the internet and to some of them i can relate to, like i have suicidal thoughts often, generally i feel depressed but theres also symptoms like not showering and sleeping all day that doesnt apply to me. I feel that way for over 2 years and now i feel kinda better than a year ago when i was really close to commiting suicide. I think i might have anxiety or social anxiety also but im really not sure cause its really weird. Month ago i thought that my teacher was going to ask me something at the class and i had something like a panic attack but idk if that was it basically my heart started pounding really badly and i started sweating etc it was horrible and i have this thing like a few times per month without any perticular reason. I dont know if thats something serious so im asking, its not everything that i've noticed but its already a long note and im hoping that someone will read it and tell me what to do.

edit. if someone knows how can i help myself im from europe 
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mentalhealth,songofthestream,2018/03/13,"I am afraid for my own safety Hi everyone. I'm currently freaking out because apparently my dad thinks that I should go to a wilderness therapy program where they treat people like prisoners. I am 21 years old, and the only issues I have are anxiety and depression. I am a pretty much fully functional adult. I don't do drugs, I'm not violent, I don't self-harm, and I'm not suicidal. So, I don't understand why my dad would want to send me to a place for suicidal, violent, or addicted people for two whole months with ZERO contact with the outside world! I don't know what to do and I'm terrified. This program forces you to get strip searched, people follow you and watch you 24/7, and you can't have ANY of your belongings! please help, I am seriously upset right now! ",3.349114372469636,5.3041586381578965,4.962105263157898,80.31204453441299,74.46052631578948,9.150607287449391,28.139676113360323,9.661875296680813,2.8602827935222663,611,25,117,17,13,206,96,152,0.122,0.682,0.196,0.9011,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,5,1,0,3,9,2,2,5,0,16,2,0,0,0,18,27,8,2,3,3,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,7,7,0,2,0,1,20,2,12,25,3,13,0,1,1,0,13,5,0,1,6,73,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912691236233528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931371706010095,0.0,0.13422068287005748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695421599060374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111698183771988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346919843449712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765238335698446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166669012807603,0.0,0.09971369950366242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760211289982947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312682683441608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964241059551162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571722943806269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400445122164152,0.0,0.12897777590443915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841078852921295,0.0,0.0,0.13343953304359735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36491001755397,0.0,0.18331052016477345,0.192594158470738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784982696164818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498354770188404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303522309300246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838331175430301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20064522549090846,0.0,0.0,0.11242287804502414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139159902676282,0.18265224098760074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348643078373604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831859207259225,0.19588645136247526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463642258334187,0.0,0.0,0.11298565807283155
mentalhealth,MoldSki,2018/03/13,"I don’t understand why i’m feeling like this. Let me get into this story by saying that environtmentally, everything is fine. I have a great group of friends and a happy family that provide for me, so I have no room to complain. However, lately ive been anxious, down, and having a plethera of intrusive and ocd like thoughts. I can’t help myself but worry all the time. I know this sounds stupid, but It started ever since I recieved a brand new computer. It was great and I was enjoying it alot until it started acting up, which got me very worried since I was majorly paranoid I would break the computer like I did my previous one i had a year prior. The anxiety, worry, and constant “googling” started from there, which did not help at all. Every few weeks I encounter something small with my computer that absolutley drive me crazy.

The intrusive thoughts started when I ran into a low-grade virus on my computer, and I started worrying about the thoughts in my head rather then my computer (which I completely removed from the system but still worried me somehow). The thoughts were nothing but disturbing, and it got me worrying about my overall mental state. I would never do the things I would think about, which is what scares me the most. 

The confusing part of the whole situation is how this material object is causing me so much distress. Its just a material object? I shouldn’t be feeling this way? 

The only way I am coping with these feelings is distracting myself. I would always try to have something to do which only momentary relief.

If anyone is able to help me on explaining why I feel this way, that would be great. Thank you for reading.",5.713115622241838,7.210468362459547,6.1175007355104425,76.21964033539278,67.64077669902912,9.242777287437482,33.462930273609885,9.573946990214177,3.332429126213592,1320,60,228,28,22,425,167,309,0.15,0.6940000000000001,0.157,0.3654,1,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,0,13,19,1,5,20,0,33,1,1,2,4,47,56,18,0,8,8,0,4,3,1,6,0,2,1,0,24,11,0,0,12,1,0,4,6,7,0,1,15,6,40,12,26,32,9,38,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,5,21,176,64,6,0.08276032736359462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886322215810685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331142390817246,0.09349561313024307,0.0,0.05786794516608261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501765358379022,0.0,0.0,0.08677262865960897,0.08943451273510956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486145421853138,0.06972914522747897,0.0,0.07437964581768462,0.0,0.0780190711578825,0.0,0.1673844327385498,0.059123994404847315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394042362524482,0.0,0.04323885524093389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323819881849037,0.273730659263954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809990740058059,0.0,0.0,0.08493597223007053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641750875696482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045482911549489455,0.0,0.0933572540522606,0.0,0.0,0.0846280419130056,0.0,0.1212975466927367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340294454576758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083836313755541,0.0,0.06382986647514953,0.07993043988000155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794107661637412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056080539675678616,0.12588591656638712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962136959974633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278272348353502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581433407584149,0.08285752534679869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369203960335814,0.09302607547846793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274258866165286,0.0,0.0,0.2928909283650975,0.0,0.0660925043384397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619459023574802,0.0,0.0,0.0549822840846696,0.05302947605903691,0.0,0.26280982203368186,0.048258212426634736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618882974931582,0.0,0.0,0.08615641948520741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828593743760931,0.0,0.19707388705520507,0.06638534258508402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935664580036165,0.0923989499597751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042827783177217,0.0,0.2939528102465204,0.0,0.0,0.053294937418237896
mentalhealth,showmeyourkitties_xx,2018/03/13,"Need help weighing my options /: Hey guys! So I've recently been thinking of admitting myself but I have terrible anxiety about it. So now I wondering: should I admit myself, should I just get a therapist, should I get on meds, or ignore everything altogether like I've been doing? I've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety/panic attacks, and bi-polar disorder and I've just been really struggling lately. I feel like nothing is going right and I'm blaming myself for everything that goes wrong, even if it's not my fault. Anyways, let me know what you guys think, and if you've ever been admitted, what was it like? ",6.081120689655172,7.452190905172415,7.0529310344827625,70.3226724137931,66.67241379310346,10.972413793103447,33.46551724137931,10.9516,4.228020689655172,499,22,81,15,8,167,77,116,0.284,0.5870000000000001,0.129,-0.9774,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,9,10,1,1,1,0,13,2,0,0,1,27,26,10,0,6,7,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,5,1,1,8,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,6,1,13,3,5,16,0,7,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,5,7,55,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252718377305142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19708410879766872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921029751148818,0.1758337034409869,0.0,0.0,0.19854663747282356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442257278015235,0.15670438426921118,0.0,0.0,0.3113916693629235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759472662652552,0.12376181087401865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810202128122385,0.0,0.09845558446164564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430672348696208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611829484926366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520749661538654,0.0,0.19542087668532632,0.0,0.0,0.17714837813828815,0.0,0.25390713507066703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242921798539925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845435178678652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622727070876156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098119117174056,0.0,0.17105238427225294,0.0,0.0,0.14794496178970445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571049801782148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110677506821474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011435626750997,0.0,0.2220088156367444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787005463223266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894093979428817,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashleynchl,2018/03/13,Wellbutrin or Zoloft? Has anyone tried either one of these medications for anxiety and depression? I would love to hear your experiences and pros/cons.,6.098266666666667,9.81278336,5.596,69.78466666666668,75.4,9.733333333333334,28.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,3.853933333333334,124,5,18,4,3,38,24,25,0.192,0.6679999999999999,0.14,-0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831905964774619,0.0,0.0,0.2588420366642965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318839893445696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621120712605645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172255240421154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33410651543755915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372922553625058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508470115056654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513313906058794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26296888154238074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonsweet,2018/03/13,"I can’t get my head around it??? A while ago, I had a weird anxiety episode which lasted about  2 months. Weird sense of dread at the back of my mind, I was wondering what it was for ages because I had no particular clear thoughts accompanied with the feelings of dread/hopelessness I was regularly feeling, until after a while I started having clear obsessive thoughts about my relationship, I messaged my therapist when I was feeling really down and he gave me some advice, I did some cbt, and I’d seen him a week or so before so I had a clear memory of how to start. After about two weeks i actually started feeling better until the thoughts went and there was no feelings of dread either and I felt normal healthy and sane for months. Then anxiety started propping up a few months after and manifested itself in a bout Of health anxiety first, then just had some irrational worries playing on my mind, but not really effecting my life or making me feel dread and hopelessness, just more so worry. All thoughts about my relationship and whether it was good for me and whether our behaviours towards each-other was normal and I would have thoughts about other people and that would make me feel like l didn’t love my boyfriend enough and that maybe I wanted more. These thoughts became more regular and now I don’t even have any thoughts my brains just absolutely bombarded with questions with no answers and just this clouded confused, I try to do cbt but I don’t even know what I’m thinking I genuinely have no clue, I just get a sense of dread and doom overcome me and I feel down, and I think it’s associated with the thought of my boyfriend but I have no clue, and the fact I can’t even do CBT or self help with thought diaries because I can’t even address or recognise my thoughts is really hard because I just feel like I’m stuck with it until I find the answer or the particular thought. Please advice, help, experience?? Anything will help I feel isolated and confused ",6.995161992263057,7.285375194148937,6.7355609284332685,77.21272727272729,64.34574468085106,10.027852998065764,35.70793036750483,9.800150414767053,3.3755521276595744,1587,70,295,30,22,499,170,376,0.16699999999999998,0.721,0.112,-0.9575,0,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,1,0,0,3,24,17,0,7,15,0,29,5,2,4,5,95,71,41,0,5,18,0,12,2,0,3,2,0,1,1,14,26,0,0,31,1,0,1,12,11,0,2,29,13,45,6,38,39,10,35,1,2,1,1,13,8,0,12,28,210,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.06914928985830822,0.0,0.0,0.13848744728063925,0.06281325220343084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818733549236597,0.0,0.16262347452177628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831187012340081,0.0630805614293781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448708547815586,0.0,0.12958707888547535,0.0,0.0602967730508685,0.0,0.0,0.06267004896053707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910336815892517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321748252335306,0.0,0.18720985707198465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931482886692145,0.0,0.0,0.3582902362176193,0.1012450181889022,0.0680368614302815,0.0,0.06476489819094586,0.06027361188687325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404301298318154,0.0,0.0,0.05943413631613575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347678078282022,0.0,0.07272296247816236,0.07532103149818284,0.0,0.0,0.14248820525960038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03894288819172504,0.05776048413657923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005062326186503,0.06923738517554387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395405671028764,0.0,0.0945994077823172,0.0,0.07118855023644198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309711375738104,0.0,0.16967969971058333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388558142884234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912550954930811,0.0,0.0,0.07778317159815333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937959102807228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361844898614975,0.0,0.0,0.15215457620749212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739225959883535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006207305050254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227410183239428,0.0,0.09080865259849508,0.0,0.6188055295453969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048109394056063716,0.0,0.06922007533061343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041795155510673344,0.0,0.11367948470261505,0.0,0.0,0.06568807386712566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684481571521476,0.0,0.14392385465232266,0.0,0.10067404247520828,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kimhyomun,2018/03/13,"Hi guys :’) Do i reall need a medication for my ptsd? 
I have a paranoid disorder personality and also dependent personality disorder. 

I just met a psychiatrist, and he gave me a lot of medicine recipe. 

My friend’s (she’s a doctor) said I don’t really need medication.",3.3520000000000003,5.9358422,6.9540000000000015,63.016999999999996,77.0,11.2,30.0,10.793553405168565,4.4542,210,10,37,9,5,79,35,50,0.171,0.8290000000000001,0.0,-0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,3,3,0,1,0,7,8,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,8,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,2,0,23,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355590718699668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4974620374615145,0.22213568269948705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767403269674985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21489022405112412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845080561877397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4372624646059702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218446022255077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789981049303393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536922090323463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390326479030821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064417734438304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helpasisteroutplease,2018/03/13,"Help needed - Syndrome or mental disorder name Is there a syndrome or disorder for a person that would always think abuse is happening? A mother accuses father of sexual/physical abuse. Always unsure of all males. Then later accused son in law’s of sexual/physical abuse and 4 year old grandson of physical abuse. 

I am kind of thinking something like the Münchausen syndrome but focused more on abuse. Thanks! ",6.510892018779344,9.193377014084511,6.8080985915492995,67.32839201877938,67.59154929577466,9.8037558685446,34.36854460093897,10.125756701596842,4.452688262910797,332,16,44,9,6,107,52,71,0.293,0.575,0.132,-0.8944,0,0,1,0,5,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,11,9,5,0,2,3,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,8,8,2,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,5,26,2,0,0.0,0.8129474644779765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22836481705901096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31454407133334683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134784350526745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197919864841007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289899065095008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704133012295856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382907855346037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017507909118639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399482574303327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981980329668325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564270874137463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633858186393682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585681034722714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748088694107984,0.0,0.0,0.08836856780927259
mentalhealth,Elo_Solo,2018/03/13,"If a suicidal thought is fleeting, does it still count as a suicidal thought? I ask because you hear people all the time, “if you have suicidal thoughts, call someone”.   I always thought it meant that if you’re on your way to doing so, or thought about it constantly...but if you play in your head your own suicide for a hot second (like jumping off a really tall building) does that still count, even though it’s for a short amount of time?",8.256647058823527,6.602956282352943,7.273970588235294,80.76036764705884,62.647058823529406,10.852941176470587,38.897058823529406,9.516144504307137,3.4121176470588237,344,15,70,5,4,105,58,85,0.202,0.7709999999999999,0.026,-0.9581,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,6,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,0,3,1,1,0,1,12,11,8,4,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,2,8,2,9,5,3,11,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,5,5,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164484426315152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308330452637825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531136495414324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290316335269934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449399183057006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924347275421407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362763431076198,0.0,0.15773223845500928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837181475942038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702273505423573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965465396388557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857799094639596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235262585348518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6123241962724832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749878467120402,0.5555177626931068,0.1632103031240715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108468115838864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spiderman1738,2018/03/13,"Should I see a therapist or use apps to overcome depression? I've been depressed for over two years now. Up until recently I always fought it, never accepted that I was. I went to free therapy at my college and she got me to open up a lot. However, that free service is over and I am back on my own. My depression is worse it has taken over my entire life. I have no motivation to do anything, it is effecting school, work and my social life. I want to fix it. I have two options, find a way to get affordable counseling or using cbt/coaching apps. On a site called open path I pay a membership and they connect me with therapists who provide low rates I am just unsure if they will accept me because while I don't make a lot of money, my parents do. I'd be the one paying for the therapy though. I have also found apps that I can use and subscribe to like Pacifica and Iprevail. I just need advice and if anybody has any other suggestions it would be greatly appreciated. ",4.555919904837432,5.341936582474228,5.98360824742268,78.74271609833467,69.77319587628867,9.474385408406027,31.417922283901664,9.661875296680813,2.9436436161776376,763,32,149,17,13,259,120,194,0.13,0.774,0.096,-0.6829,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,3,6,11,1,0,8,0,21,2,0,6,1,34,34,15,0,6,6,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,6,0,5,1,3,5,0,3,7,1,26,8,20,22,3,21,0,4,1,0,9,12,0,7,8,111,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320046907535264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802840132761583,0.11240255657033812,0.0,0.0,0.09186326190295034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116444896699934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387296480423247,0.0,0.08234730588621593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379381341634612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490486900231881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234663577855497,0.0,0.0,0.14811506771366484,0.0,0.0,0.0705769744711775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804079049397003,0.14893303444476516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083078431838216,0.06599630362280637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296909470278267,0.0,0.0,0.09017110081079023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016472045772286,0.10418682066426507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153791872993956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999726093217938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338134532566015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367144665477257,0.1076462276670644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137703389479804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089657308985401,0.3136910263758661,0.0,0.0,0.1327215252784755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639192162864235,0.0,0.0,0.3500133646309399,0.0,0.0,0.07967735251848035,0.10722515368895563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252262793096766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834437702813464,0.0,0.13766439891726953,0.09596137487404703,0.0,0.0,0.08699109670343665
mentalhealth,febreze80,2018/03/13,"I haven't been diagnosed because I don't go for help So all throughout elementary school I was bullied to the point of crying daily. I had suicidal thoughts and hated everyone and everything. I switched schools and it got better, but I am still haunted almost 10 years later when I'm 19. Not directly, but the world is dark and shitty most days, and on the odd occasion I have good days. I had multiple therapists and stopped going to each one after one or two sessions each. I have therapy, it is degrading, dehumanizing, and embarrassing. I don't like pity. I don't like attention. For the past years I have hidden my problems and put on a facade and that's seemed to work for the most part.
I don't like to talk to my friends about it because then they'll treat me differently.
Some days I just want to be depressed, I will listen to sad music and think of dark memories until I am in the dark place I desire.
Over the past years I have coped by distracting myself with video games, dark jokes, way too much candy, and a lot of NF music. I used to eat a 1kg tub of jujubes every night to feel better. Now I have an extremely dark sense of humour which reflects what I truly feel. 
I was doing better for a bit but now I'm back where I was before. I want to talk to someone but I don't care for people that sit there and pretend that everything is ok and that treat you like a child giving pointless advice. 
I care too much about what other people think. People will judge me if I tell them I'm struggling. I don't like vulnerability. I get it when others have struggles, no one's perfect. But its not ok when I have problems, I expect perfection and nothing less and I don't know how to convince myself that it's ok to make mistakes and be flawed.
I have never attempted suicide but thoughts of it are a regular thing. I would describe exactly but I don't want to give anyone else ideas or get this post censored.

What should I do? 
I need help but hate therapy and pity.


PS. I'm sorry this is such a mess of random thoughts. I'm not great at writing, but I hope it's understandable.",2.6819613899613866,4.608114295238097,4.092741312741314,85.93766409266411,76.28571428571428,7.0167310167310175,24.92277992277993,7.917944638633933,1.396160231660231,1644,57,332,26,37,543,213,420,0.228,0.602,0.16899999999999998,-0.9813,1,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,1,2,7,17,39,2,4,15,3,39,2,0,3,5,77,73,36,2,13,16,0,2,5,1,5,1,1,0,1,22,20,1,1,13,4,0,3,14,15,0,4,10,3,47,24,37,56,12,37,0,4,0,0,15,9,0,11,27,224,69,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535041229451558,0.0,0.0,0.08746123752534661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107214448904533,0.08949306118970915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716125254100573,0.0,0.10648676904753644,0.0,0.07432232366145908,0.0,0.0,0.2317429321861911,0.09535575958731304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810369277198387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594200834015193,0.1689867181522219,0.0,0.07522826003197369,0.08865114395891524,0.0,0.09125467773278287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937353039444075,0.07296373515852135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359010969213066,0.08345982653162855,0.15699622522916548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832632843698418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748086145316415,0.0,0.091266057823079,0.1675744216198785,0.09927789747769072,0.07325903016568637,0.06985604799835024,0.09629578935091304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246594353931405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708812897068628,0.0,0.0,0.08675114775635337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859943485427032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800134060334613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335649862010986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425575908414844,0.0,0.0,0.0583020238699031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284140742633982,0.06476360907805967,0.06736418265585177,0.0,0.0,0.08196533849169932,0.0,0.08380781054552351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755730632565012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458378412769143,0.16675724748976042,0.18165758311863028,0.0,0.09125467773278287,0.0,0.08256721541816313,0.0,0.08365029684528492,0.0,0.0,0.16715060377627158,0.0,0.0878036783663849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679123400637833,0.0,0.07951364108874577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400530481968623,0.0,0.0,0.09777315841848834,0.0,0.0,0.06975210477951885,0.07302252512038218,0.0,0.18261940088062414,0.0,0.19107778109556425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040573246749025,0.07634149187508486,0.0,0.19976829888798686,0.1014117690872841,0.05802670180044329,0.11193153013333833,0.0,0.20802137580204808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853212631835582,0.0909269766596688,0.0,0.07543617025857666,0.0,0.0,0.15455120986614074,0.06932868084803782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635866277045488,0.0,0.0,0.06204584748538326,0.0,0.0,0.16873777576859436
mentalhealth,kieranisadoof,2018/03/13,"Am I having panic attacks? Edit: I don't think these are panic attacks, but I would like to know what they are. It's freaking me out.

I don't have an anxiety disorder, or any other kind of mental illness. I've never experienced one before a few days ago, and now I'm having 3-4 every day. (Still don't know for sure that they are though.)

Basically what happens is suddenly I think I get a rush of feelings or memories from old dreams, (which is pretty strange already) and then they get more and more intense and my mind kind of overloads. As soon as I start figuring out what dream one memory is from, another one pops up. Suddenly I can't breath, and on a worse one I started shaking and sweating. I've had overloads before, but this ones different. I suddenly feel like everything is out of my control and I can't stop my mind from thinking and the shortness of breath is completely uncontrollable. It lasts for about ten seconds, then goes away, but there's also a bit of residual fear. That's what's funny about it, it doesn't last long.

Anyway, I need to know this because I hate these ""episodes"". They keep happening, and they started so abruptly. I need help.",2.9831766917293194,5.173977530701754,4.1706015037594,84.49921052631579,76.32456140350877,7.32531328320802,27.523809523809533,8.269060116576782,2.0205335839599,919,38,176,17,21,300,130,228,0.174,0.6990000000000001,0.126,-0.8966,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,5,1,10,14,3,5,6,0,20,4,3,1,2,36,40,21,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,16,12,0,3,9,2,0,2,7,9,0,7,1,3,23,5,23,38,4,30,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,23,123,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678464261695206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048677900356056,0.08731405748698833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424856826688997,0.11448848779739428,0.08352512837971604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484241348871784,0.10258155342470032,0.0,0.0,0.06655728782139843,0.0,0.1858143441381952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920017468926475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447689060273546,0.0,0.12245865221927578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408287337935864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140735868922544,0.12513382471536907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199186256465232,0.0,0.09812714802893537,0.0,0.0,0.12286186546776195,0.11041298213045422,0.0780007606549665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408781265855472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19310133189805054,0.0,0.0,0.10779616609844674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318344213159576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704736925758496,0.0,0.2273957626646059,0.18001329578834468,0.17799835602957706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668314957239636,0.0,0.0,0.09662401922236806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003135327576083,0.0,0.2204885518372984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191645998149187,0.08420909628457751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456978481945765,0.0,0.3699280466988653,0.0,0.0,0.2562067772385145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107893780951546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23184206782426625,0.0,0.08719413605057971,0.09128234925999028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290421788211918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098812594468462,0.10727229826146807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126738055227907,0.0775608719495238,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,teary_maiden,2018/03/13,"Is there a name for what's wrong with me? I'm not really sure if anything good will come out of this post, but I thought talking about wouldn't hurt. I'll start off by saying that I'm a 19-year-old female. I'm well aware that I need to seek professional help, and I am, but my appointment isn't until July. (The psychologist wasn't accepting new clients until then.) I'll start off by saying I was the weird kid. I never really talked in class and I often lost focus and my mind would be elsewhere. When I did talk, it was weird things that no one except me understood. I could make people laugh, but it was probably because how stupid I am. I never really got close to anyone because I couldn't read them. I constantly put on an outgoing mask even though it was draining.I honestly had the best intentions and I still do, but I always come off as a complete idiot. I've always felt hollow in friendships and I because I feel like something is missing, but I don't know what. It's not the other person's fault by any means. I know it's mine because there is something defective about me. I'm trying really hard to express how I've felt and what I've done, and I apologize if any of this comes off as stupid. I've also lied to my family. I don't want to, but it's something I automatically do to avoid excess confrontation. It makes me feel really stressed out and irritable. I know that I am constantly in the wrong and make many many mistakes. I sometimes wonder who I am. I know my name and all of those details. It seems like I'm heavily influenced by the people that are around me and I try to act accordingly. Lately I have been really irritable by just about anything. Multiple people make it even more worse or if someone coughs, it makes me upset. If I hear a grumble in someone's voice, it makes me upset. Screaming and hollering makes me upset. It's a constant headache that won't go away.  I'm always tired and nothing, no amount of sleep helps. Crowds and groups of people make me feel really stressed out and exhausted. I hate going to places and having to talk because I'm so awkward. Again, I want to apologize or the lack of order. I'm sorry for making this post, I'm aware that no one is here to diagnose. I want to know if anyone else is similar to me and if they had a name for it. I'm really curious and think it might ease my mind until July rolls along. Thank you so much. ",3.2865892566467707,4.7700043463917545,4.739796527400981,83.81317824199675,73.57731958762886,8.074335322843194,25.134291915355398,8.6894789155246,1.7175360824742274,1888,60,383,36,38,631,216,485,0.226,0.67,0.104,-0.996,0,1,3,0,0,0,54.0,0,1,2,2,21,34,5,7,14,0,35,5,1,13,4,98,87,45,0,16,18,0,6,2,0,5,4,5,0,2,31,28,0,1,17,1,0,7,14,24,1,2,16,11,51,10,52,63,6,42,0,3,0,0,23,16,0,12,18,247,82,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311747158176488,0.1658047198042643,0.0,0.0,0.09033817299100966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288730261930604,0.06805696055545968,0.10931892699216816,0.05912946433487655,0.0,0.0,0.062405446564681916,0.0,0.0,0.2024504957256923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970555773591901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164944015407654,0.0696419701291028,0.21533503458246267,0.0,0.05303238465688607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741670613790612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797253967509782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548687216248115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774191538599617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261654057285397,0.0,0.10075453957880104,0.04745173121823657,0.12755064572158895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549805384738709,0.055711435725149465,0.05312356332415532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950086619936967,0.06557775407712244,0.0,0.0,0.07486217078886129,0.0,0.08904223488319889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110588673228277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825183595589625,0.0,0.07492665830773615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490065092335677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250721659972577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.399033471138694,0.13468251443492585,0.0,0.07235278806211178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046300953033262,0.1341341213935396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882764915362465,0.04925090649331317,0.1024571393784722,0.06415056674571185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373348705153024,0.0,0.06969848228829993,0.0,0.09001823107695109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841939893373006,0.05799693422848917,0.06939662047983827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722740460925674,0.0,0.07161391050264447,0.0,0.0,0.06677223234701987,0.0,0.0,0.06643975231707705,0.0,0.3404119326677828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056425271097048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046789173661672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646974665417657,0.0,0.11255791329635093,0.15340418850685614,0.06569283648713897,0.07435374203776746,0.09402735217024473,0.0,0.05304451742439534,0.0,0.15217184374339138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260173935693872,0.0,0.0,0.2135492354215996,0.0,0.06115224880431903,0.0,0.0,0.04412767764446861,0.04256039311834837,0.06525905929023247,0.05273147206218038,0.0,0.07634206235980541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019205395612427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175318561442618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972115503382978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203158448803534,0.0,0.0,0.0676894659871219,0.04718412510207396,0.14524357356959852,0.0,0.04277344707710797
mentalhealth,wyman88,2018/03/13,"Perpetual laziness and self indulgence. Im sorry if this sounds like im a shitty amateur novelist. I dont know how else to write.

Whenever I try to think on the negative aspects of my life, no matter how rationally in order to improve upon it as a whole, my brain will automatically put my thoughts into the format of a daydream; one where I'm being interviewed by some famous person about my struggles while I was young. About how I couldnt get out of my bed and work hard on things I love to do because I was always in my head thinking about my future. This makes it extremely difficult to think presently and solve problems that effect me now. The irony being that if this continues I will never move an inch from my current state of perpetual laziness and depression. Fantasizing about fame is the bane of my success.
Even now I am putting slightly more effort into the format and wording of this simple note to myself just in case I suddenly become rinound tomorrow and can publish this as some kind of self indulgent book.
It is clear that this is a coping mechanism for my dissatisfaction with the way things are now. So my one question is, how do I fix myself? I just want to be happy and make the people I love proud of me.",7.959943977591037,7.0173725714285755,8.456764705882353,69.75710784313728,62.78151260504201,11.29467787114846,36.21988795518208,10.504223727775694,3.77436862745098,984,39,176,20,12,329,141,238,0.11,0.757,0.133,0.7722,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,16,11,0,1,12,0,18,5,2,7,2,38,30,17,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,1,3,14,11,0,0,7,1,0,3,5,4,0,2,3,2,27,7,34,21,4,29,0,1,0,2,8,11,0,5,13,136,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899555243563564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717740462944576,0.15794301214965467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964615591737602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317407172808305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760633961299234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946627961546345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445657854712848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471668192153699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522365178700293,0.12810862897301073,0.0,0.1467692422810223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089501000758565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892262787231805,0.07859440811216087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101200228253496,0.06986733085017911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581437313416673,0.0,0.19092021181911267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199671167109213,0.0,0.0,0.11029792079238494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19381418964899105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991449408484448,0.12487058093833828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368409986498441,0.0,0.2875285583501187,0.1602036279980491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983806773249852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008768543897614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495048215487711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001862137112005,0.2749045833723542,0.0,0.11353375204622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709421992163617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435084457898763,0.11351446788693652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596652574532734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411278738200426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,001635468798,2018/03/13,"Was anyone here extremely tokophobic and improved with therapy? I never wanted kids, even before I developed the phobia when I was about 17, and it didn't get this severe until 2-3 years ago. I'm 28 now.

So I don't need to get over it to the point where I'm ok with actually being pregnant. It just needs to get to a point where I'm not completely terrified and find the idea unbearable.

Anyone have the same phobia and successfully underwent therapy for it?",5.224,6.138104733333333,6.780000000000005,73.17000000000003,68.33333333333334,10.888888888888893,29.44444444444445,10.864195022040775,3.4371111111111112,366,13,67,11,6,126,60,90,0.08800000000000001,0.7759999999999999,0.135,0.6554,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,5,1,6,0,0,0,1,15,15,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,10,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,45,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.19854173755239768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18034967906886967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28451950909481993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312435333540396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331762894156991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437943609460667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595325339685448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188889245591291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296747808388789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301717098953412,0.15691625322944616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38465954969562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22984508845086354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4653347185353256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000242971930893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101769371589636
mentalhealth,LabelMeWolf,2018/03/13,"I can't feel any emotions, help please! I'm weary and tired.

For years after my 10ys of abusive relationship and a hard childhood, iv'e turned numb. I am working my ass off this matter, especially now with my current partner and job.

I feel insecure about how I should respond to emotional matters of others and just similar things.

I study people. I like to see how people think and act in certain situations, yet I cannot grasp how emotions work,  emotions = feelings, it's blurry and abstract yet they exist.
Also since iv'e studied people, I almost know what to answer and when. In a certain amount, but not enough. I just would like to understand and feel more of it myself instead of guessing.

I am together with my partner because I like everything about them. I feel comfortable, happy, warm and not alone when I am with them, but I cannot understand how to express love through words. How do I work with it? I feel the warmness and comfort and if that is love, how tf do I channel it the best way? Because everyone is different. Should I just imagine everyone being myself and act in the way I would like to be met?

Also I don't want to hurt people emotionally, I want to avoid it, work with it and give people the love they deserve.

I'm against medication, so I would appreciate other suggestions please and thanks.",4.510657370517926,6.391778661354586,5.19453984063745,80.1732440239044,71.15139442231076,7.888525896414343,30.876693227091646,8.548686976883017,2.5387384860557773,1048,46,188,18,20,338,131,251,0.07,0.6459999999999999,0.284,0.9966,3,2,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,4,5,20,20,0,2,6,0,18,7,1,6,2,61,41,28,0,8,8,0,9,4,2,5,3,0,0,2,12,19,0,1,13,1,0,2,6,4,0,0,1,10,32,16,27,33,4,17,0,1,1,4,16,4,1,3,13,135,44,5,0.0,0.10721832540735536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061475331186844,0.09372251087368708,0.0,0.14473297813875355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06153772208677252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032627231491007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496586211198554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454497038089336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5089570883839865,0.0,0.0935025156584768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729381336600264,0.08132845259542873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27453310822205873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680825532604505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968723570844393,0.0,0.0,0.09633050902463708,0.08106313525874473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065493824822784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687365045339597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897994329280389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049732084297922766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768394505905993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501792398022476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116125713676512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136790946342467,0.0,0.0,0.19866627394632388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715463543705027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211047707911296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485598926794601,0.10171689696175627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331295547178838,0.0,0.0,0.06011892145505841,0.057983675270505075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400734178000906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842940491258263,0.0,0.18841090733531227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674915465274973,0.1436568127831852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635172675992146,0.0,0.0,0.1928489462186421,0.0,0.0,0.05827393695877142
mentalhealth,1corinthians2427,2018/03/13,"struggling (mental cloudiness) This is my first time on this subreddit, so i dont know all the rules or anything, but yeah, just wanted the opinion of others

College student, 21, recently been struggling with just having like a clouded brain and thought. Not being able to remember, spelling words wrong, stumbling in conversations. Dealt with a struggling month of depression, but coming out of it, im still struggling with this confusion and cloud. Peers have said, ""youre just burnt out"" or ""chill, you dont have dementia"". However, its just such a struggle to never remember things, to feel like im walking through a dream, and not have my mind focus at all. Just like a cloud that consumes my mind, and i feel disabled, like i cant remember or learn anything. 

yeah, just freaking out and scared and wanted some 2nd opinions

hopefully i didnt break any rules",7.9183974358974325,8.310814044871794,6.82769230769231,76.98397435897436,62.39743589743589,9.753846153846156,37.846153846153854,9.444778638647367,3.59556923076923,685,32,117,11,9,207,96,156,0.202,0.6629999999999999,0.135,-0.9209,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,1,9,15,0,7,7,2,11,1,1,0,3,47,20,12,0,3,13,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,13,0,0,8,1,0,2,7,10,0,1,4,3,9,5,16,15,3,15,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,8,10,78,17,3,0.11385539051948936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742556982095454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873865705791124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710027005813218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807633748729028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806348102049818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266875339476279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151374128367334,0.08133831373650592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684533701282444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308409270526627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24596671888830865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257194505381418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224959709996277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473945457000233,0.0,0.2299229758025201,0.0,0.09087828646887017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781229613081319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241846252133876,0.0,0.386927888029962,0.0,0.10830254900611816,0.0,0.11398910814347588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909250619418678,0.0,0.0,0.5951318741328196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564046235113471,0.0,0.0,0.09038846230194124,0.06638999381271088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343097184396906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448299621442473,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brownboyweird,2018/03/13,Anyone with experience with getting therapy through a college? Im 27 and live in Illinois. I can’t afford traditional therapy and Im afraid to seek professional help through the military bc I don’t want to get kicked out or committed.  Does anyone have experience getting therapy through students working towards their degrees? I’m open to ideas. Much love and thanks to those who read/reply,4.543714285714287,7.7811093000000024,5.353928571428575,72.26232142857145,77.42857142857143,8.642857142857144,37.32142857142857,9.188382445141503,4.492571428571429,321,20,49,9,8,104,51,70,0.0,0.805,0.195,0.9111,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,11,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,12,10,1,4,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,0,27,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471078624084093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463284098886335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34569632133412376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769580221202398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843941908956662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947470148101887,0.38173629792927133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603083090495715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948017545846613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298960747975492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767495094706813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268317689700798,0.6062213517493551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422323581990776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286409359069488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peteframp,2018/03/13,"Is there anything else I can do? One of my good friends is manic depressive and is going though a hard time right now. I haven't seen them get this low and it really worries me. I've tried reminding them of all of the good things in their life and suggested they seek help, and they don't seem to want it. They told me they would look into it, but I feel like they said that so I would stop bringing it up. I really care about them and want the best for them, but I don't really know what to do anymore. ",3.468184245660879,3.804715925233644,4.266755674232312,91.69757009345798,71.99065420560748,8.357276368491322,22.762349799732977,8.418075326091056,0.8628275033377837,392,8,94,6,7,126,69,107,0.107,0.7070000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.9216,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,10,1,5,8,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,0,1,17,24,9,0,4,2,0,2,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,3,5,19,6,10,19,2,10,0,2,2,0,15,5,0,1,4,65,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877973780191728,0.0,0.0,0.15582975145106856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872496072934487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930683688991965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630982180486543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818862727213026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957477068373606,0.13528108416560775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463015128984958,0.0,0.09893443895248294,0.0,0.10761945154218884,0.3176576799973232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963220269506174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692613907096448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040690441733572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337528048125072,0.09251327817299013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590173677411294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831738254978578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639326806308584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171510974515166,0.18012773531191126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238911502968138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583160865276623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258044737292941,0.0,0.18604834988649355,0.0,0.11041918535250583,0.0,0.0,0.18094462081368026,0.0,0.1285651601012432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22338260396396786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230748774554268,0.0,0.2690363211347317,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lala732,2018/03/13,"Can being depressed turn you into a psychopath? As a kid I was extremely empathetic toward others, but years of depression has muted it to the point where I barely feel human anymore. There's this fog separating me from the rest of the world. None of my emotions feel real. I'm constantly wrapped up in my own thoughts, and I can barely muster interest in other people anymore. I know this isn't normal, and I constantly feel guilty about it.  I still love my family and friends very much, but I have literally no desire to be around them anymore. 


Can depression suppress your empathy and make you so self-involved that you become psychopathic? ",6.5811864406779685,7.9549987711864425,6.962500000000002,71.41629237288137,65.52542372881356,9.967796610169492,33.39406779661017,10.125756701596842,3.6493355932203393,517,22,84,12,8,168,85,118,0.141,0.713,0.146,0.1751,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,1,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,0,18,18,8,0,2,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,3,16,3,14,14,4,13,0,3,0,1,9,9,0,0,4,66,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850015164926784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451179970021034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003736652647975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523228140656315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4212139909790168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833700422161935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536761249124629,0.0,0.24727599238406456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259450591010549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958883376754556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712748903394424,0.0,0.10881384267897128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983485261029216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972018308834754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301414232789556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410195723223813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554686824793887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006029781512907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301840665590311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941577757744738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731361391825115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450452685075892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049763774207602
mentalhealth,jesusfuckingchris1,2018/03/13,"Panic disorder and bi-polar disorder really making me want to end it all lately I'm a 25 y/o guy. Since I've been 14 I've dealt with a really terrible panic disorder. 3-4 massive panic attacks a month since I was about 14. My whole working life I've struggled to keep a job, I usually work a job for about 3 months, have a breakdown from anxiety, and quit, and not work for another year or so until I get the courage to work again.

Right now I live with my girlfriend and she basically pays for everything. She has a really good job and came from a wealthy family and was able to go to college completely paid for. I grew up with a single alcoholic abusive mother who I couldn't even get to wake up to take me to highschool most days. I went to college for two years out of my own pocket but it eventually became too much for me while working and I stopped. With my short education, I eventually got a job as a senior computer technician at a company, but the company got in trouble a few months after I started working there for making us rip people off and I lost my position. Ever since, I haven't been able to find a job. I live in a rural area with no tech companies and my gf I live with signed a long work contract for the next few years that has me locked down here.

recently I finally saw a psychiatrist, she officially diagnosed me with bi-polar disorder and panic disorder. But I could only afford two visits before I ran out of money. Then I tried seeing a therapist. He had 5 meetings with me then told me I seem normal to him and basically said I don't know what else to tell you, good luck.

These past few months I've been really down on myself. My girlfriends had it with me, she has no more patience for my mental illness. At this point, when I start shaking a breaking down with a panic attack, she'll sigh, tell me to quit being a pussy, and slam the door and leave the room. She screams at me every other day, and makes me feel worse. She doesn't do much to try and help anymore, which I honestly don't blame her.

At this point, the only option I see is to just kill myself. I don't know what to do anymore. None of the medicine I've taken helps, my family doesn't care, and I'm just a burden on my girlfriend. I spend most of my days shaking in front my computer screen trying not to have a panic attack or go into a manic tantrum about how stressed I am. My car went out and I can't afford to fix it. Besides that, 90% of days I'm too anxious to drive and often I would have to pull over to the side of the road to have a panic attack which is terrifying. At this point I feel like a scared dog backed into a corner, ready to do anything to get out of the situation I'm in. I live in the south, we have terrible mental health services and most people scoff at me if I try to explain to them my situation. In the past 2 years, all 3 of my best friends from highschool have killed themselves. One a bullet to the head, the other hung himself at work in a bathroom, and another overdosed on heroin purposefully. I feel like if I don't change something soon I'm going to go down the same path. I have dreams and ambitions. I want to be a programmer, a computer tech, or a video game developer. But I've never seen a good way to accomplish any of this with my circumstances, and I feel like if I buckle down at this point and just go get a BS job at a grocery store or something I definitely will end it. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I'm making this post. I'm just looking for any advice or comfort whatsoever at this point, because I don't have one person I can talk to about this. What the fuck can I do anymore...",4.4692872058242585,4.673375578249342,5.893916699588015,81.37965996952425,69.74270557029178,9.122591568372929,28.774648682205534,9.079978658526878,2.165365291495005,2862,96,600,51,47,973,317,754,0.185,0.722,0.094,-0.9973,8,0,3,0,0,1,74.0,2,1,1,13,23,40,8,12,51,0,46,8,2,5,4,96,100,43,2,9,18,1,4,3,5,3,5,2,2,2,25,42,1,2,11,3,5,17,18,26,1,4,20,12,87,13,107,73,17,106,0,1,6,1,35,48,1,15,41,398,112,25,0.09412071409026336,0.055758827731949206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045986836248398125,0.0,0.050293209712771285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400531311819059,0.09869377525988092,0.0360010443296641,0.053164808262928964,0.18668491477443305,0.0,0.0,0.038726664045855085,0.0,0.0,0.21415179997026346,0.0,0.03618650970522617,0.0,0.028687556856270263,0.0,0.04004489768633007,0.0,0.0493869413255636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053824511437464674,0.047981170415895766,0.0,0.04978361777308928,0.0,0.0493418890010594,0.0,0.0,0.03757386576443295,0.0,0.0,0.1214001483516332,0.0,0.0,0.04776527178807512,0.0,0.0,0.2696762314592527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03931288965808569,0.0,0.0833630161759653,0.0,0.0,0.06216584398302324,0.042568787203608835,0.03965038050707962,0.0,0.04229481444282485,0.0,0.08872863271525881,0.0,0.09518052211013928,0.10085978542843807,0.0,0.05155232085086228,0.04301231376899787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036358715114805686,0.04350654176773359,0.0983483768458951,0.0,0.1337274270755101,0.1184159841778184,0.0752769331488466,0.0,0.0,0.046597152293475184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048297503241641324,0.05002295889746842,0.0,0.0,0.06308713067519965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802008570104613,0.041829407634506106,0.10413062499692743,0.0,0.10345256598937402,0.0,0.05308613255177953,0.04983012313165841,0.0,0.0,0.03324012192107797,0.06897394002539607,0.0,0.16622062982624222,0.04164693508186877,0.03951884746412257,0.0,0.05137193888408356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565261502914687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485154237477543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025251204571494,0.0,0.06918955452450691,0.0,0.036295848532191546,0.0,0.050049223605607984,0.0,0.046109158044336435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377863173078872,0.07158304430745695,0.0,0.3865063249046661,0.0,0.0,0.0898488715799441,0.06525145224707972,0.04109128856921847,0.0,0.0,0.22243624329658146,0.0,0.0450708133650246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010896498269364,0.0,0.0,0.12059227908969435,0.0,0.046466425178291006,0.0,0.0,0.04018928778312012,0.04476517626324725,0.0,0.04711562714784109,0.0,0.07500202328000727,0.04284198159048632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678644096813245,0.10579562614078868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245872402873299,0.0,0.0,0.06661912586974524,0.0,0.0,0.03934456571302744,0.053907479994849086,0.049197703082551364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03538353176424189,0.03782533237823486,0.08226565265329208,0.0,0.0,0.054640701706100255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496818788391888,0.0,0.12780357324270827,0.0,0.09194226139153394,0.0,0.05660781513636067,0.0,0.05183033464804844,0.0,0.05551483575405239,0.037354320943110884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725084491675797,0.04246465246293945,0.052541208018650906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27408400332002525,0.0,0.047958524307769784,0.033430327417255504,0.0,0.0,0.1212213080106061
mentalhealth,helloyeswhatwhy,2018/03/13,"Hello. (US) I'm not sure how to explain this. And I'm going to refrain from specific details as this getting out would prove to be problematic with past experiences and my life right now. 

So my entire life I've always been kind of wierd. But my mom always told me that made me unique. I grew up thinking I would be something. A star. An astronaut. But when I was about 8 my stepdad who had been there most of my life started being harsher to me. I was a smart kid. I always got good grades. I was afraid of going to the bathroom without asking. Always followed rules. But he expected me to grow up faster. Anyway. I sort of lost all hope of everything by the age of 11. And then it started to get bleaker. I was starting to consider running away. Considering getting myself ""accidentally killed"". And about the age of 12 I started to consider suicide. I searched up the easiest and painless ways to die. But my mom found out and I was put into therapy. I went. I did what was asked. I started to smile more. Not because I was happy. But because my mom wanted to see me smile. But as years passed i started to lose emotion. It sounds cringe typing it and even saying it out loud. But hear me out. I started to hurt things around me. I carved faces into walls. Into just simple objects. It got worse. I would never hurt an animal. But I started to get into fights more. I enjoyed it. Being cruel was the only way I could feel something real. I drempt about beating up kids. Slamming them against walls. Various things. I told myself that I would never do that to a person unless provoked. But now at 20. It feels like the barrier is growing smaller. I've started to hurt myself. To prevent myself from hurting others I've hurt myself. I cry a lot more now too. I know they aren't real tears. But it at least keeps me occupied instead of thinking about hurting others. Everyday I try and clue in people. I want help. I'm worried I'll just be another news article and my mom will cry. But everyone around me smiles. As if everythings fine. I can't understand how they can't see. Please. I'm tired of living. But I don't understand how anything can fix me.   The only place where I can truly act emotionless is in my Fine arts class. Because most people there act kinda wierd and quirky. Most people just assume I'm acting. 

I'm never good at wrapping things up. I think its because I have attachment issues when it comes to people and it just carries over to other things. I'm sorry if this isn't what this reddit is for. But I'm tired of existing in my monotonous life. But I've held this off for years. Because I was fearful people would be afraid of me and they would find out who I was. And that I would be committed. But at this point. I don't know what to do.",0.8540085991400872,3.390961175182482,2.6475252474752544,89.4516793320668,89.62043795620437,5.046535346465354,21.74042595740426,6.6671382305096625,0.7146890010998899,2156,78,419,28,73,711,246,548,0.146,0.7659999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9884,1,0,2,0,1,5,74.0,1,0,4,3,26,25,3,3,13,0,44,7,1,5,7,102,97,41,3,14,25,4,2,1,0,8,6,4,0,3,33,26,0,5,14,1,0,14,12,14,0,0,23,8,69,11,74,58,10,73,0,8,2,0,25,32,0,10,26,299,102,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963012105025293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184468687844489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853474103014117,0.10500773535582922,0.11027491900549492,0.0,0.055412768332498204,0.0,0.0,0.17976543773017686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080523781847748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0470899802321916,0.0,0.1295714559113385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061210952676879225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634350412425477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03895511287860495,0.0,0.0,0.05635701931249432,0.10601315225446516,0.05769283786449043,0.0,0.06636783964342216,0.05964316970678589,0.042134652241399576,0.0,0.0,0.0539057923350597,0.0,0.0,0.06466749505751265,0.0,0.0,0.1232564982952912,0.0,0.06703831793052821,0.0989376745540578,0.09434188422727206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278430607047472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664736870761984,0.0,0.0395324206860416,0.0,0.0,0.05857951439226956,0.0,0.0,0.3788298213190995,0.0,0.0,0.06155881538866915,0.0,0.05242329844318863,0.06525159140415998,0.06141761503726403,0.06482669786962016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663461715572267,0.02881418956370092,0.0,0.05207959051760288,0.0,0.0,0.06598248186948569,0.06438261108684612,0.05014188769231824,0.0,0.05580741261650967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763022489478526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646486102391447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971246564118644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056302186380158076,0.20444327020413716,0.0514982402548374,0.061620564636483174,0.0647412967896635,0.055754275407424565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929024541558482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342621648560934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503677949753155,0.0,0.04690251575014567,0.0,0.0,0.09399734953471636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080992367287116,0.0,0.06602222897199682,0.3757111400200343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451351894021934,0.0,0.05558706605203125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744769517456325,0.0,0.15673226700362855,0.11337420051450167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557550657647766,0.0,0.11271403862498865,0.0,0.04004291024600545,0.0,0.0,0.1227985629156252,0.07094454726779985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957475535366017,0.09362966514151423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054674179496608334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685370915765591,0.0,0.0,0.05989609833150355,0.06010470085182735,0.2932792241747682,0.0,0.0,0.07596116185818813
mentalhealth,anonymous__mate,2018/03/13,"From An Outside Perspective I have the most interesting relationship with mental illness. I see it’s power and how it can change the feeling of a situation in a split second; yet I don’t actually experience it. While I may be able to gather excessive amounts of information on it and how it makes people feel, I still feel a world away from actually understanding it. It’s like gathering all the information about what it feels like to reach the peak of Mt Everest without ever actually climbing it myself. At times I feel absolutely powerless to it’s influence over a friend. Sometimes, no matter how much I want to improve the situation, it can cut me down with ease. I try to help the absolute best I can, in a whole range of ways that over the years I’ve learnt are more or less helpful in different scenarios; but I will never truly know what to do, it is a non-stop challenge of trial and error. In my head I believe that I do pretty well with dealing with it most of the time but I loathe the fact I can’t control everything. To see someone in a mood where they don’t want to talk or do anything but rather just lay there is difficult; do I just hold them in silence? Do I sit there and do my own thing? Or do I just leave the house all together, giving them time alone? In a time of my life where education is such a huge focus, I’ve been drilled into searching for answers but this is an area where there is no such thing as a concrete answer, every person is so so different in what works best for them. And of course mental illness is not a problem to be answered; from my experience it is rather a situation to be dealt with as best as possible to give the person the best possible chance at feeling content/happy/worthy (so many feelings, this list goes on forever) as much as possible. Sometimes I just need to understand that I can’t change things and that instead all I need to do is be there for them when I can be a positive influence. I love her more than the fucking world and no matter happens in the future I’ll be there doing my best every step of the way.
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mentalhealth,DingoBingoDongo,2018/03/13,"The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't want my cat to be lonely I'm almost 30. I've always been a sociable fun guy, with lots of friends, generally the ""funny guy"" of any crowd I'm in, I tend to get along with pretty much anyone who isn't a total asshole, and while on the chubby side, I'm not terribly fat and I'd like to think I have a decent face that appeals to girls who like men who look like lumberjacks. When I go out to meet up with old friends and they introduce me to their crowd of friends, they're always ranting about how I'm one of the best people they know and that they can always count on me. 

But, I've pretty much only had 2 relationships in my life, each lasting a mere 6-8 weeks, only seeing them once per week. the first one broke off as she was dating around and just happened to like someone else more that she got more serious with, the more recent one broke things off because of some vague confusing answer about trying to learn to love herself before having anyone else love her. I've been on all the dating sites. I've been to singles events, I've had friends try to hook me up with their friends, and it invariably ends in failure.

I'm tired of the loneliness. Despite having not problem in any other social situations, trying to get any sort of relationship going just seems to be impossible for me. I've travelled around the world, I've seen some cool stuff, I've had some great experiences, but I feel an emptiness that's eating away at me, and I look forward to when I can die, I'm done with this life, I feel like I'm watching a shitty movie that sucks and I know it's not gonna get better, and I want to walk out, but I sit here and keep watching..... 

And I keep going all because of my sweet kitty. She means the world to me, she runs up to me and hops on my lap for cuddles and pets the moment I get home. She likes other people but doesn't seem to show the affection for them that she does with me, so knowing that I'm the best part of her day keeps me alive. She's turning 6 years old at the end of this month. I want her to live out her life as long as she's healthy and happy, so probably another 10-15 years to go. Then I'll be able to take my long walk down my favorite secluded mountain trail for the last time.",6.611373142542652,4.9060031624472575,6.9111043845166025,82.21970555861311,65.89873417721519,9.762465602641717,30.73527793065493,8.18289091462,1.9215966978536048,1785,48,391,18,23,581,224,474,0.083,0.754,0.163,0.9905,0,2,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,7,4,12,30,2,1,21,1,21,10,2,3,3,69,65,28,2,4,9,0,2,6,5,1,5,0,2,4,18,28,2,3,12,2,0,9,7,9,0,4,10,10,51,21,70,51,17,61,0,3,6,3,40,27,1,9,32,233,69,1,0.07606342321144742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616653100754586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898725842771424,0.0,0.0,0.1551772083291208,0.07975913132924678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637062814424793,0.07793596583961859,0.0,0.13542514608076178,0.0,0.0,0.07146408996193443,0.0,0.0,0.1391026703835863,0.0,0.06472437081710443,0.0,0.15964773984025155,0.06727191660200241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905461540138289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894182442768773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656361423470128,0.0778392906017835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778318711997328,0.12708245969575555,0.0,0.13473923229044305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440462332738615,0.0,0.0,0.07691990445171297,0.05433972474044863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646995089266394,0.0,0.0,0.29383206044842464,0.0,0.1589599969038506,0.0,0.17291438517336535,0.0,0.060834868068142735,0.08386019261809384,0.0,0.1506294953073896,0.06726263394257015,0.08097092840219318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629781531352789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028259963605649,0.08415290804974017,0.0,0.12540740449993,0.12400368393437874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117753583074132,0.222964478815208,0.0,0.06716539624222173,0.1346274719315826,0.12774823686991768,0.0,0.0,0.06466640236061802,0.13730041832529413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285536663387685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071309871999048,0.0,0.11183073606011903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963153483081713,0.08100506327860729,0.1546276323148259,0.17354898270428076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236927501151642,0.0,0.10546560075333332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547676934005939,0.08200923516158788,0.07278242342366713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820586740661455,0.0751034540615546,0.16332730117522012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060612700334922234,0.1384905674986292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549847462216978,0.0,0.07753708107131536,0.06444829165192142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707442156254397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719022804519167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053315853972724,0.048738370287478856,0.0,0.0,0.04435319376044111,0.08742371559998385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492621427902514,0.08273516229223764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459253323635714,0.0,0.1220269800505257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796470142176493
mentalhealth,OffensivePavilion,2018/03/13,"Struggling with mental health issues, don’t know how I can get help without counseling or medication. I’m a teenage girl, and I’m 99.9% sure I have depression, anxiety disorder, or bipolar disorder. I don’t feel like myself, don’t feel a desire to get out of bed, or even live. I get anxiety and have trouble breathing and thinking when something goes wrong, or has the opportunity to go wrong. And for bipolar, I either feel like the world is the worst place, or I feel amazing. Some days I feel great, and hours later my whole day turns into a mental obstacle course. Mental disorders run in my family, and my parents are alcoholics. I am struggling in school, and feel like I have no purpose and won’t be anything. I don’t want to go on medication, because I can’t stay on track, and am an athlete and fear that it will effect my athletic performance. I only have one friend that I relate to about this, and I try to talk with them because it feels good to talk to someone who understands what I feel, and what I’m going though. I don’t know what to do. I want to give up, but there’s something that keeps me going, and keeps me fighting. I don’t know what it is. 
Please comment what you think/suggestions. ",4.827710084033615,5.704833903361348,5.580997899159668,81.54359768907563,69.21008403361343,8.807142857142857,30.421218487394967,9.017664075816787,2.4413016806722694,951,37,187,17,16,310,128,238,0.129,0.7559999999999999,0.116,-0.4588,1,0,3,0,2,0,35.0,0,1,1,3,6,18,1,3,7,0,22,7,1,2,1,47,51,22,0,3,8,1,8,3,1,2,6,0,1,1,13,17,1,2,14,0,0,5,10,9,0,1,0,8,27,9,22,48,4,20,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,6,8,121,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122207594803108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491421264053156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794279489519232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547539222303654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216733736752128,0.0,0.08157833044564254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256565425596473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255870143266197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928935387860322,0.10658128184410798,0.3831280641195287,0.2029943389782692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317696849618892,0.0,0.14845483506592785,0.09085974828697108,0.2153160294533318,0.07944287649938435,0.0,0.1044241847525643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006781586139052,0.0,0.0,0.06348581020199659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327569890153853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885838514828668,0.0,0.168374995376998,0.0,0.0,0.15615950271517426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881964256325194,0.0,0.08363553108109202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908318245968759,0.286352871914914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418168120294017,0.07203541381492609,0.0,0.0,0.10517036563684308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895754935221872,0.10396918804597644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585715329276147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025214472254052,0.14583325479963066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095413194281308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803443313048755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926824777798506,0.0,0.0,0.15225747923489347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213797494269163,0.0930575082149533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430561437162613,0.10302327723098896,0.0,0.09860218680071843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173132422908792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574648503920524,0.0,0.09130237223588217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711308418515734,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-possiblyinsane,2018/03/13,"I feel as though everyone around me is ""basic"". Hey guys, throwaway here. Does anyone else feel like everyone around them is ""basic""?

 

 I don't necessarily know how to explain what I'm trying to say. I feel like everyone can be put into some kind of category, like ""fuck boy"" or ""art hoe"" for instance. 

 

And I feel like people just act the way that ""culture"" is, they dress in a certain way, they have the same hair cuts, they read the same books, etc.

 

I reread what I just typed and I still don't know if what I just typed out makes any sense but my point is; I can't take this anymore. I stopped seeing all of my friends this month (I've seen them maybe 2 times this month) because I felt like they're to ""basic"" and they don't understand me. They invite me to hangout on a daily basis, I always politely decline. If any of them ever need me, I am however always there for them, I'm only friends with people that I truly care about, so no matter what, however we might feel about each at that moment if I'm needed, I'm there. I started feeling this about my family, feeling like my parents are ""basic"" and my brother is ""basic""
but I obviously still love them too. 

 

My SO is the only person I see and actively talk to but even with her I feel it but only sometimes. But either way this is the girl that I'm spending the rest of my life with so I couldn't give less of a fuck.

 

I'm trying to make a lot of money so that I can move to some secluded beach house or cabin in the woods type of scenario and in those fantasies she's with me. 

  

What fucks with me the most is that I don't know if these feelings are real and this is really how the entire world is or if this all in my head and I'm imagining all of this. I don't know what mental illness this could be linked to, I have quite a few. I used to joke around with myself that I might have schizo but honestly, a lot of things recently are making me question myself. 

 

I have other odd feelings. I feel like my SO subtly manipulates me on a daily basis and that she might actually be a sociopath even though everyone that knows her says she's the nicest human being they've ever met. Anyways, it's weird, another time perhaps.",4.554914364010049,4.993784141280353,5.662333866179495,82.2886092715232,69.61810154525386,8.720682043084418,27.541219456496922,8.74248658614541,1.8946601050468148,1748,54,358,28,29,582,202,453,0.059,0.8059999999999999,0.135,0.9857,3,0,0,0,0,0,77.0,1,0,10,1,29,20,4,0,18,0,35,8,2,7,7,93,79,33,0,9,18,2,13,7,2,3,2,2,0,5,30,22,0,1,22,7,2,3,8,5,0,0,3,18,62,15,42,67,16,32,0,0,3,4,35,14,3,17,19,250,92,5,0.0,0.0,0.0619930128230571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057188071437154,0.4818189832761723,0.0,0.08640083255253501,0.06661341015909364,0.0,0.0,0.06300153563707009,0.0444194298719435,0.0650907347171161,0.0,0.16965701578093187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03872536006039001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476982720361467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050720996837707116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559274860183856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306850683211796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084919726449639,0.0839177314318566,0.11492729200002005,0.0,0.24281039696657256,0.0,0.0,0.05988743249869113,0.0,0.3533317605878634,0.2269178658130916,0.060995709886979166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816132765912036,0.17618856531203325,0.0,0.0609407147215115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629015398346564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519684518347586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330142142801496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615340764052813,0.174563395515943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487087193567182,0.21725196896976584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080164618688936,0.05733543563283646,0.0,0.12721393766413747,0.0,0.06382122964249574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402009326116022,0.20217575204395014,0.0,0.0,0.10141300386959626,0.06751895645985061,0.0,0.0942086647117115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494502854915786,0.0,0.0,0.0705390161239414,0.0,0.0,0.08808299693806804,0.055469169199766376,0.0,0.0,0.06005337892869659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386200069319496,0.07116457760557987,0.06756859312995908,0.06354401162563866,0.07230742936725892,0.04069690782356336,0.0,0.06272507117855831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103815466957264,0.0,0.0,0.10124530197283778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282964971841103,0.0,0.044964610425694836,0.0,0.10146520161020547,0.053111266368562914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776426290477293,0.051060451856879234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04220439666708123,0.0,0.12482955693231608,0.0,0.0740859996489613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626108203680204,0.0,0.0,0.06613366039449416,0.0,0.05486677605057545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127389922894327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unmotivatedtrashacc,2018/03/13,"My brain is obssessed with murder I think about murder a lot. I feel like the whole world hates me, and I hate it back. It feels like everyone is out to get me. Growing up I was bullied daily to the point I would cry. As an adult I'm still a loner. As I get older I think more and more about murder. Not just any type of murder, I also fantasize about torchering my victims. I think about cutting and ripping body parts off, like ripping the nose off with a pair of channel lock is a common one. I think about stomping all over their bloodied body making them grovel and beg for mercy, only to not give it like they didn't for me. it feels like there is a demon inside me, one that's waiting for me to get mad enough it take full control of me. Murder feels like my way of getting revenge, I feel my life has been pure misery, and I feel thats becauuse people have treated me like shit my whole life. To all you people I'm just a punching bag, someone to make miserable for your own sake. Well I want to get revenge, I want payback. I want you to the feel way I do. Feel the rage and misery I feel. ",2.1705263157894734,3.7056641228070175,3.3742105263157884,92.24447368421049,76.6315789473684,5.5017543859649125,22.52631578947368,5.750287758089431,0.1971894736842104,852,24,184,4,19,276,118,228,0.268,0.628,0.104,-0.9944,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,3,1,12,22,12,1,12,0,11,7,5,3,3,38,41,9,5,4,4,0,9,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,9,0,2,13,1,0,1,3,13,1,2,3,10,35,9,30,37,11,15,1,1,0,0,8,8,1,1,11,123,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122575747486961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907130847517236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810131542905116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256434820049715,0.0,0.11338608137807993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139197635769542,0.0,0.0,0.11157023987448483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494930399185996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970548045336232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622131034826598,0.2902474607257743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653315304704253,0.09743551724846193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055934854563376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348425798486406,0.3473549344892047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863514637270025,0.0,0.0,0.13559797008357538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765337069024433,0.07724881410738835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999077115364787,0.0,0.14083215805189495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601679378351584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426048577057702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606021234664188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111419801021852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636824877072336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603286690063656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972643950210926,0.16124360301013346,0.0,0.0,0.09132392620439128,0.0,0.0,0.22679929586551986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215264936519833,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ianlovespandas,2018/03/13,"Seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist tomorrow for the first time My first appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist is tomorrow to confirm (or not confirm) my NP’s suspicion of Bipolar Disorder. I’ve been aware of my OCD and bipolar tendencies for a while now. I’ve never addressed it with a professional because I’ve been trying to “fix” myself with other alternatives. My tendencies and anxiety have gotten so bad and uncontrollable lately that I made the choice to get evaluated. My family doesn’t really believe in mental illnesses. Their response is always “stop being sad”. My friends don’t really believe me either when I tell them I think I’m bipolar. 

No one ever takes me seriously when it comes to this stuff....  I’m scared to tell my friends and family....so any tips, words of wisdom, or anything of that matter is much appreciated.",6.191293859649122,8.438737296052636,7.515789473684214,63.73885964912285,67.48684210526315,11.119298245614038,33.719298245614034,11.038039088145766,4.663985087719299,687,32,104,23,12,234,94,152,0.181,0.7340000000000001,0.086,-0.9268,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,2,5,8,0,2,6,0,9,4,0,1,2,21,18,12,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,0,7,10,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,3,4,1,15,3,15,13,2,15,0,1,1,0,6,1,0,2,13,74,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533304162883134,0.0,0.0,0.11877636660290032,0.0,0.133616196252063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437322066536553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583574103033112,0.10647252873554038,0.0,0.0,0.3935692447897022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045612248509954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001781500404184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799206748352618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646560901608414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971353592725772,0.0,0.0,0.2698873493650152,0.0,0.09125385295340667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19702670401305514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526970975327868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601853691666386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839690164656936,0.0,0.1347103482944354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835570790660772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22378630855515652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748674517849383,0.0,0.13918325493721526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602551986060994,0.0,0.0,0.19994656809354408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313243271780989,0.0,0.3053251313787341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191656170180876,0.0,0.0,0.10184700302623634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185842497216243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bobbybaby111,2018/03/13,"i cant form relationships anymore i feel as if my old self, who treasured human comnection, is slipping out from underneath me and cannot find steady footing. My best friend of 8 years left me, saying people just, ""drift apart"". I felt as if it had happened so suddenly and I didnt understand why it was happening. it didnt feel like we'd drifted that much yet. months later she apologized for giving up on me. we've made our peace. but she hurt me. i tried making other friends only to stop communicating with them for fear something was wrong with me. that there must be something so undesirable about me that makes everyone leave, and everyone will see it sooner or later. eventually i made a new best friend, he saw these insecurities but didnt give up on me. it happened so quickly, we'd been friends before but this brought us closer. i dont think our relationship was very healthy though, because we relied so much on eachother, but he was there for me. we'd grown so close, growing together and learning to get better. but sometimes he would be so sad around me, and in turn wpuld affect me too. my counselor told me that hes the type of person who thrives on negativity. but i am not that kind of person. still i stuck beside him, wanting to help somehow. but then i saw how he was with others, happier. and then its like, we had one last good day together before he stopped talking to me. Days went by and I eventually confronted him and he said the same thing, ""people grow apart"". But I know what that means, ive heard it before. im devastated and alone. ive already gone through this and im terrified to make any new relationships. this will happen time and time again, history has proven that. i really think there must be something so terrible inside of me that makes even the ones who say they love me, go away. i loved him so much it hurts so bad. i just want somebody to love me too.",3.606877070619008,5.525712535135138,4.404838709677421,84.74048387096775,73.64864864864866,7.5850043591979075,26.53007846556233,8.360895534625662,1.7395858761987788,1498,54,298,26,31,481,207,370,0.172,0.667,0.161,-0.7805,0,1,3,0,0,0,49.0,8,0,2,3,26,24,1,2,4,0,31,4,1,8,2,60,69,37,0,7,14,0,3,2,4,5,0,4,0,4,27,19,0,2,10,0,0,9,8,9,0,2,23,10,51,15,33,35,7,46,0,3,3,3,49,16,0,4,23,199,78,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440784648111857,0.08993559911538301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055421761007859886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082459272791859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725509257579613,0.0,0.0,0.0765705045958981,0.0,0.0680478264906766,0.049680716882103404,0.0,0.2080476111466973,0.0,0.17105525311627204,0.07207878253388829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511955461945492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551561142881533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05382897731813201,0.0,0.0,0.15575058009681347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170844777044147,0.08241616034673009,0.058222530297309234,0.07825132133548478,0.0,0.0744881341240713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518620935014764,0.0,0.04257959200198837,0.1563615362104371,0.04631746423856538,0.06835705823874161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28827534635507834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054626713137020014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744916165670393,0.0,0.17606468691982352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486812545190714,0.04478943316256856,0.06643213854442981,0.0,0.086295122721933,0.0885483368309864,0.0,0.0,0.07963208122632236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206666799646271,0.15423166439174307,0.21760347261480184,0.0,0.0,0.08877573666737225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505130908469503,0.0,0.179732280100714,0.0,0.0,0.15742347939905446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551894509483021,0.0,0.11045095830294432,0.06198326639691746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300156864088995,0.14232265814451564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522100130872004,0.0,0.0,0.2624966022501836,0.0,0.0,0.0775237173125026,0.12962172459084578,0.0,0.0,0.06494373680595497,0.0,0.08502068865368494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822453435886446,0.08060408049387854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508479129336975,0.13627275684935128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550539100522285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054143968673951534,0.10444187026188408,0.08007184267366042,0.0,0.09504483800145176,0.0,0.0,0.07787529004840674,0.0,0.05533211812532205,0.08864694321182226,0.0,0.08484279173421194,0.09803263663037556,0.0,0.0,0.06724478109712112,0.09613982995037536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554990733005428,0.07353970179747447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789418178807645,0.08910579388297897,0.0,0.05248234899826317
mentalhealth,throwoutthinf,2018/03/14,"My therapist doesn't know what to do with me. I have been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months now. I have a lot of difficulty opening up and talking about difficult subjects. Even though I am trying my best, therapy hasn't helped me at all. I avoid talking about things and start crying at the slightest uncomfortable subject. I hate the feeling of crying when there are people nearby. It makes me feel weak and vunerable.

Now last session my therapist basically told me that she thinks this  therapy isn't helping me and she wants to refer me to group therapy. I am very doubtful and scared of this. If I can't cry/open up to one person, I certainly can't do that to 10 people at once. I feel like apperantly I am way worse than I thought and therefore I get transferred to some heavy extreme 2 times a week group therapy. It makes me feel so sad and anxious. I am really trying my best to talk and get emotional, doing my best to get better. Her telling me that it isn't working kinda felt like a kick in the face, even though I know that I am not making progress. Felt like ranting",3.7773433652530777,5.433836939534888,4.7646785225718205,83.42800273597813,72.62790697674419,8.035567715458276,28.461012311901502,8.671277953709913,2.1602859097127225,862,34,169,16,17,281,119,215,0.18,0.6970000000000001,0.123,-0.9087,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,6,11,15,1,3,8,0,18,2,1,4,2,35,39,13,0,2,2,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,11,10,0,1,11,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,5,7,31,8,22,34,6,17,0,1,1,0,13,7,0,5,12,116,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105466160322268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30948950456498,0.08694121261857914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21596295000150195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057789513390108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985670394352394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882025383941893,0.07022784247764073,0.18877302104026364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407813081679375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705408138187553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178115707675467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804976151814724,0.1602604949433684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440779684764227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357388522427991,0.0,0.0,0.19685449497828889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784646950937378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046897247086494,0.06661280832003033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630215522607544,0.08583458298817766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297556214270067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841867581370714,0.0,0.07833494173180489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957952752484414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370372220578495,0.08592135018899331,0.0,0.4496732129233131,0.3424128574520673,0.06530829360613193,0.06298873627930217,0.19316483586217945,0.078041778846073,0.05732140012976481,0.0,0.0,0.09393294270264378,0.0,0.133482871864774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111045449617472,0.05798178814202237,0.07802852313958124,0.07885291629598136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156591746044665,0.0,0.10017938297923022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Real_Throwaway58,2018/03/14,"rehabilitating professional relationships I suffer from major depressive disorder, anxiety/panic and I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, but was only on Ritalin for 2-3 years.  

I found some way to cope and I think I started taking a slide in the wrong direction in 2013 or 2014, where I ended up more depressed and felt like I couldn't focus as much.

In 2016, I left my employer, who I had been with for the previous 13 years to go work for a former boss.  I eventually was fired literally a year later in 2017 for ""performance.""  I had started the ball rolling with my PCP to get some of my issues addressed but I didn't get them all addressed in time, apparently.

I eventually had a breakdown this past December, because I got a job in August and was starting down a similar path of poor performance because of lack of focus and just generally being depressed/angry about where I was.

Long story short, I ended up checking myself into a local psych ER because I felt like I needed some serious help (i.e. PCP was limited help, and I just started seeing a therapist but weekly or bi weekly appointments weren't enough at the time).  I ended up going to a partial hospitalization program for 2 weeks which did me well - I'm not psychotic or anything and wasn't really a danger to anyone but needed more than weekly appointments with a therapist.  It ended up being a positive experience and I felt like a whole new person when I left.

I ended up getting an awesome job at the local community college and started last week.  When I left the other job, one lady said that she was sad to see me go because she saw a change in me and my work for the better.

But, something has been nagging me recently.  It seems like I feel a bit guilty that I let former colleagues down because I fell into some bad habits and then I felt like whatever issues I had going on in my head at the time compounded them.  I feel like I need to apologize or something and that I am getting treatment and its seems like I am on the right path for now.  I am not trying to make excuses or get hired back because where I am now is more in line with my career goals.  In other words, there was more at play than people might think and that it was nothing personal and I can understand why I got fired and eventually used that to get help I needed.

What do you guys think?  AM I obsessing over this a bit much?",6.53764744974248,6.33649944276458,7.564071274298057,72.54939317162321,65.37149028077754,10.66519355374647,33.14246552583485,10.302915286807345,3.3611934540621364,1874,71,346,41,26,636,218,463,0.114,0.7609999999999999,0.125,0.7208,5,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,2,7,13,20,2,1,27,0,33,4,1,3,1,69,75,31,0,6,14,0,8,7,0,1,2,1,2,4,16,24,0,1,13,2,2,6,6,10,2,1,28,12,55,10,58,42,17,80,0,4,3,1,17,37,0,12,43,245,71,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768459171097048,0.0,0.056119924391253406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243891356704671,0.05694124476837605,0.2494317899167434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031427909649715,0.14890587194055674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214287453318241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747512371683085,0.06921803122779815,0.0,0.0,0.07815911900746964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30200937003523864,0.07046523417329995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670928143742126,0.0,0.0,0.06896441813341192,0.04871960677755825,0.26191741140905805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477396306587045,0.0,0.0,0.21377919872179885,0.0,0.15503061327726664,0.0,0.1090859721796993,0.0,0.0,0.0675252756204658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699893031580996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713206743141598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423588955829313,0.20302356654283685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558926502763945,0.0,0.0,0.22228715219948844,0.06973556110103281,0.0,0.23322162100218885,0.0,0.0,0.0603517732680119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552170596626519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723457296192769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026457646809424,0.2022674188013896,0.0,0.06586462297939175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543639922076895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046211726192983915,0.051866525728546345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510129395260393,0.04727887951037613,0.1190931398022408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368843632302817,0.0,0.06733583519225499,0.07321753953764007,0.0,0.0582394545798329,0.06487050638495287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868759236997946,0.1241670991739808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500202416516734,0.0,0.0,0.2413492356580637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051275295102969236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836282953783504,0.0,0.13109272710121908,0.0,0.0,0.11929781589760595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046300959842682725,0.0,0.0,0.07099498132584776,0.0,0.058899896329409424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054131222470693685,0.2735156698304557,0.0,0.06131686062555228,0.0,0.06153675107928847,0.0761389779904731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929575605168964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456218782338836,0.0,0.13174896691544827
mentalhealth,4D_vaice,2018/03/14,"Happy but still suicidal? Depression or is it just who I am. Hey all, 
As many relate I could go on and on about how I feel. I am going to do my best to keep this short.

From what I know, I have a depression that runs in episodes. I am 16 and am experiencing my third episode of which I am 6 months deep in. This third episode is by far the most intense and I have found myself most close to suicide here. It was triggered by an intense family argumentave period with drama. This depression was also enhanced by ecstasy abuse. 

Currently doing much better! Trying to get better, stopped drugs besides weed from time to time, eating and going to the gym. I bounce back between lows and normals as my therapist said. 

But i am confused. I have realized that even when I get better, I am more disconncted from the intense motives and thoughts of suicide I get at my lows, but I still feel like I have no sense of self preservation. Like I have no care if I live or die. Like if I was given the option to end it and have no one remember even at my best now, I would pick to end it. 

This situation of ending it all and no one remembering me is a situation I replay alot in my head as well for some reason. 

Will this go away as I work on my depression? Or is this just me as a person? 

Thank you",3.122931034482761,4.4376080651341,4.735515325670498,84.35476724137935,73.71264367816093,8.131877394636017,26.076819923371648,8.697196308434329,1.76159601532567,999,34,211,19,20,337,135,261,0.22,0.609,0.171,-0.9689,1,0,1,0,1,2,26.0,0,1,0,7,14,19,0,1,9,0,25,3,1,5,2,46,42,24,4,5,10,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,0,2,16,10,1,2,10,2,0,5,4,7,1,4,7,4,34,12,36,32,10,34,0,6,0,0,6,15,0,11,17,166,50,2,0.0,0.1198408356240376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088599116151604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502949310174237,0.07777461861714882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21229184895433445,0.2683648307034819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031245417228446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075642286602377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484657603516957,0.0,0.10497302300897933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729662688864237,0.1034970608484679,0.0,0.0,0.26875457909627604,0.0,0.0,0.13361125032996848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535094191266652,0.0,0.10228437154064728,0.07225833981967165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090078082005482,0.0,0.0,0.15853299122615633,0.0,0.22993319276544194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767122741136788,0.0,0.0,0.1038044267153144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990273591611735,0.0,0.0,0.05558690193065898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824369423013264,0.0,0.08931329794132642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254562526969027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073334452408057,0.0,0.07435355411821852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910107968048068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707756838646665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831631795913761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103994382929822,0.0,0.0,0.2291561875710776,0.0,0.09621249851296587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105516778145322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22738347913321846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615497966973814,0.0845621370481642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319101637178017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312115409482433,0.0,0.11743767969839852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802982005005581,0.11795746710671452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686711308152561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094191937931438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363510255935819,0.0,0.0,0.07185083574799578,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,olimen0,2018/03/14,Is depersonalization disorder something you should actively be doing something about? Or should you just wait it out when it happens? It doesn't seem as crippling as other mental ailments. Could it worsen over time if left unchecked? Can I treat this the same way one would treat depression?,5.989599999999999,9.22855876,4.829999999999998,78.245,71.4,7.2,30.0,8.238735603445708,2.5192,238,10,37,4,5,70,42,50,0.177,0.696,0.128,-0.6072,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,11,12,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,7,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,2,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24290412005793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26203416980520405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348675689181576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26903093601822714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33054844601459443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065938248293253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615515736646225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27696095751813204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684245882780646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739985090321192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24148482660617676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21611734910235386,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ssbit,2018/03/14,"What do I do when I want to get better, but don't want to accept help...? Hello, I am a young adult who's always suffered from ADHD and MDD. As well as social anxiety problems, and just general anxiety. Life has gotten to a point where it seems all my good days are in the past. Partying in high school, I met the love of my life and we were together five years, going to concerts, hopping bars, hooking up with chicks, playing in a band and just even making new friends. But now its all falling in on its self. I lost the majority of my friends when I was forced to move states, making new ones hasnt gone well. I dont see much of a future for myself or anything to look forward too and I stopped making music. I cant hook up with chicks cause the love of my life left me and every girl I touch reminds me of her... Its currently 2:27 PM and im chugging beers just for the purpose of getting drunk. If the best days of my life are behind me, why should I keep going forward....? I just want her back. Shes all I ever wanted and I fucked it up. I dont wanna hurt myself cause I cant have her. No thats not it. I wanna hurt myself because I hate myself. I hurt the one person I shouldn't ever hurt and everything I touch dies. Its all my fault and I cant live with it. Im the bad guy. Im the coward im the pussy im not a real man. I cant live with that. I always try to improve but I cant do it. I wanna improve I want help but I dont want anyone to help me. I hurt everyone. I love you so much Jax. I really hope you know that...

[Edit]
Sorry about the ending. I kinda broke down.",-0.58197521865889,1.4225461632653094,2.06562026239067,95.52612718658895,88.82507288629738,4.596180758017493,17.02981049562682,5.985473137389443,-0.4594524198250731,1206,29,281,10,40,416,166,343,0.145,0.614,0.241,0.9899,1,0,1,0,0,4,52.0,1,2,0,3,17,26,2,0,16,0,23,11,0,5,6,59,51,21,1,14,12,0,2,0,2,2,4,1,0,8,14,15,3,2,3,6,0,7,14,13,2,3,6,5,53,13,38,43,8,38,0,8,2,4,28,15,1,5,19,188,67,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099407856952886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260010076653022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584272357804153,0.0,0.0,0.05294131739657849,0.0,0.06230655695822599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821975333063545,0.06321841928543395,0.04615483774024832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945766433820005,0.0669632952411094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555923300106667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765913801730744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857966537950142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662103824479433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706054657105454,0.0,0.0,0.05000869290468864,0.13697614446747747,0.0637927059391036,0.07234842010610716,0.06804728292628437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699362235519058,0.06999680683822962,0.07911537043885518,0.0,0.08606055550864385,0.06350570461567473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496922843720343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475236323699902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224943837498234,0.07999649384779821,0.0,0.07520155197285383,0.0,0.0,0.4052695268466679,0.0,0.4089230976606241,0.0,0.0,0.06729849919998866,0.0,0.0,0.041610692233000734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226399245207504,0.0,0.2139174752900709,0.0,0.0,0.13371452712319834,0.0,0.0635810850511493,0.0,0.08265128729770463,0.0,0.20500579395052115,0.0,0.1516199886077236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804724985109386,0.11131769353515683,0.0,0.0,0.14625101254901732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261216783213804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227802823526823,0.0,0.0661109541656722,0.0,0.0,0.0715746465852156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244852167534925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861796420912785,0.04850462782520845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662708515289897,0.06033462926143944,0.06892760923094805,0.07898670421135957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771813665222343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475614956713393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330068661976028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140515463895146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679501341897769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615280171906338,0.0,0.06832053192757746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048757635844713765
mentalhealth,yogiwannabe108,2018/03/14,Coming off meds from situational depression Does anyone have any experience with this? I have been for close to two years and now all of a sudden I feel like medication is having the opposite affect. Has anyone come off meds after being on them for a period of time for good?,5.087500000000002,6.9126181346153865,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,69.57692307692308,9.815384615384616,22.615384615384606,10.125756701596842,2.388792307692308,221,5,38,6,4,76,43,52,0.068,0.826,0.106,0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,1,1,8,10,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,2,12,8,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,7,30,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818391979931146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252949919491716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007487329877157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034810015424107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035600497462684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227538858879739,0.0,0.0,0.11761545520545133,0.16617783151561005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951036419903812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364231775647116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.516758278490434,0.2343317968025027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26146527569781153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356377419117736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272278127171965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979429620872875
mentalhealth,buttchina,2018/03/14,How do you stay motivated? I’ve been dealing with depressing and anxiety and have had little to no motivation to do anything productive. I think about all the things I could be doing to better myself but I can’t seem to actually get anything done. This just makes me more upset and it turns into this snowballing spiral. Does anyone have any tips to stay focused? ,4.531225490196079,6.923793985294122,5.488823529411764,75.89637254901962,72.38235294117645,8.062745098039215,27.509803921568626,8.841846274778883,2.469050980392157,293,11,49,6,6,96,54,68,0.116,0.7559999999999999,0.128,0.209,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,3,3,3,0,1,1,0,11,0,0,4,1,15,16,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,8,11,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,39,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.22174974572299427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452840389823488,0.0,0.17383506611895666,0.0,0.0,0.15888883005860835,0.0,0.3739920510822943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20097194707165852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142961019947576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23427053767734016,0.1957182005614539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885592432305535,0.23254152075773385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872153231962755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277503630612072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168192373528958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068672962443142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4844070952458763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096562988525733,0.14560377745328784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471677261037889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silent_mom22,2018/03/14,"Medicinal Cannabis I’m curious as to opinions on this regarding mental health.. (I’m in no way judging anyone for taking medications.) I’m from the US, 21 F.

My mom was addicted to 42 (not an exaggeration) prescription medications. She took her life five years ago when I was 16 years old.

My grandma took her life 10 years ago - she was also addicted to prescription medications.

Mental illness runs in the family in many forms, and it’s odd to think that if I reached that point, there’d be 3 generations of suicide in my family.

So - you can understand my aversion to anything stronger than Advil.. my question is - does anyone have experience with Cannabis and did it help with depression/anxiety? ",4.999971367215462,7.424526133858273,6.0087902648532605,72.54628489620616,71.1259842519685,10.287473156764497,33.59269863994273,10.436869588844218,4.2113842519685045,557,28,95,18,11,184,88,127,0.11,0.8220000000000001,0.068,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,8,10,0,0,0,10,16,7,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,6,0,13,0,17,9,1,17,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,7,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29821008419038386,0.0,0.0,0.2424857380079537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937899389676962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104632573152763,0.0,0.0,0.19127265292823814,0.0,0.11255424902775912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969280717133413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133792287798246,0.2578787734130873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538552988153985,0.0,0.0,0.09167746294975793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321658875590747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866847842807162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4133595556262882,0.2756742514272971,0.0,0.0,0.16018933796150947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352245394608004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929667420440913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532194086279161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960975421595613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028378494196781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763995801212171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30392432586431833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423876973204901,0.16452359837219774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085657038962987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642360301123736
mentalhealth,breadandbunny,2018/03/14,"I'm going to have a breakdown. (F/USA, East coast)

Please help. I can't figure out how to solve the following problem. 

Why is it so hard to just *find* a psychiatrist near me who takes my insurance?!?! This is *ridiculous*! I've called a ridiculous number of providers, found them through my health insurance's website, but there has been some sort of problem with every single provider I've called. If it's not at some dumb health center where you must have a PC in order to utilize their mental health services, it's that the provider doesn't actually take this ""network"" of insurance anymore, or whatever BS that really is, which means they *shouldn't even be coming up in the search on my health insurance's website*! One of the providers I called realized this and told me she would have to call them to tell them to take her off that network on their site!

I cannot focus at work now after yet another returned call from leaving a message, only to be told the provider doesn't take my insurance, I'm extremely anxious and feeling hopeless. Again. I can't even find a goddamn psychiatrist. Seems like I can't have anything at all these days. Not even my sanity. ",5.153716216216218,6.5926444054054105,5.076204954954957,83.38160472972977,68.9099099099099,8.252702702702704,31.442567567567572,8.660442795831766,2.453143243243243,926,39,175,15,16,287,130,222,0.07200000000000001,0.836,0.092,0.5163,0,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,0,1,6,1,11,7,3,0,11,0,20,4,0,1,2,29,35,7,0,6,6,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,12,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,9,6,0,1,4,2,21,1,27,26,4,25,0,1,0,0,20,15,1,6,7,114,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.10443218019279997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221560844037562,0.0,0.1208976207695164,0.1061311174027428,0.0,0.0,0.08806505085712718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5463765130454881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218480942370952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901646773648215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204917904078255,0.0,0.09016559680239587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411050581527218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562137317401732,0.0,0.0,0.1173375219516713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06081965982121833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958653172339683,0.0,0.0,0.4550120210832914,0.0,0.0,0.07173056998613749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331449366798962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052282612732153344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657179841879173,0.0,0.0,0.10784695905153216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251681219326515,0.0813904914451171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747143331407404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047997211638886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685571908442464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742334850011683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32185085920471873,0.0,0.09353670220766576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20451675095283706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656529605418593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790892362598957,0.0,0.0,0.07602109700657576,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a-unaudible-voice,2018/03/14,I don’t know what to do I’ve been having trouble with my emotional health... I’ve been going to school and recently I realized that something was wrong... my friends have been joking around but I’m unable to laugh at genuinely funny things and I’m forcing my self to feel anything at all... it doesn’t help that my teacher is constantly embarrassing me front of my peers. When I wake up I feel nothing but dread because I have to go to school. There’s something wrong with me but I have no idea what it is.,3.4155882352941163,4.9368642352941166,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,73.31372549019608,7.452941176470588,27.45588235294117,8.07648339933343,1.6415058823529405,400,15,83,6,8,128,62,102,0.11,0.706,0.184,0.7975,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,0,0,13,2,1,0,1,14,20,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,5,1,0,3,3,5,0,0,4,2,13,3,13,16,1,10,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,55,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453032777911525,0.17798546722138464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187915610689765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605983396158485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22490113778087198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218734154878287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447009090127706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22725652159183396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125226643362941,0.0,0.0,0.13401291518866856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257034563099745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098796204836292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184402561590302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741272205257795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046918992945621,0.0,0.0,0.20857689733682616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078410678696161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282862294277192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43719735318895175,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlueishValentine,2018/03/14,"A Letter to my Uncle Tomorrow it will be two years since my uncle took his own life, and although it's something I think about a lot, it's of course on my mind a great deal this week.
I'm having trouble finding closure with it, and to be honest I don't think I ever will, but I thought writing a letter might help me to vent and hopefully could help others that feel the same grief. 

(I went over and took out any of my families names, which is why it probably sounds a bit formal when I mention them)

Uncle,

I've spent a lot of time just looking at my keyboard, because where do you begin when trying to talk to a dead man. 
I went to your house the other week to see your wife and son for the afternoon. Your son decided to repeat the school year because his attendance is so bad, but he seems to be doing a little better which is good, probably because he's avoiding them dickhead bullies. Your other son's doing better as well, finally moved out of his first house and is focusing a lot on uni. It's frustrating because I know if you were still here, you would've have helped them out instantly, you just had a way of doing that. Although if you were still here they probably wouldn't be having these problems.

When I found out you killed yourself, I spent so long trying to be understanding of your decision. You're a smart man, probably the smartest I know, and you spent so long planning for it, so it was clearly what you felt was right. I tried to tell myself that was OK. 
But as the months went on, I started to hate you. Our family was already grieving, and already struggling- and you added to that. Granny is broken, your sons no longer have a father, and your wife now has to raise them alone. You left my mum and all your other siblings. You left us all, and that's not fair, because we don't leave each other. That's never been how this family has worked. You ruined our family fake Christmas at your house, which I loved better than actual Christmas day. In fact you ruined every family get together. When my cousin- your niece- died, it broke our hearts because she couldn't be with us at these events anymore. When you died, it broke our hearts because you chose not to be with us. 

I know these feelings are harsh, and unjust, because I understand what mental illness can do at the best of times, nevermind the worst. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel hate or anger. Maybe it would be a little less if I got to say goodbye.
On the lead up to my 21st birthday, I thought maybe, I'd get a card, or a letter from my Godfather. Of course a stupid thought, but I had hoped I might get some closure. I didn't. None of your godchildren did, so why should I be different. I really really hoped you would though. You know how much I adore you.

I don't really believe in an afterlife, or that you're 'with us' in some way. But sometimes I like to hope you are. I still feel anger, mostly because I wish I could've helped, I think we all feel that. You know how involved we like to be in every aspect of eachothers lives lol, especially granny. I want you to know though, I still think you're a fantastic person, and I still love every memory of you, particularly your snobbish rants and bad dress sense. I'm doing my best to look out for your sons, doing my best to look out for everyone to be honest, just like you did a lot. It's very exhausting, and I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm doing enough for them- but hopefully I am.

Do me a favour, if by some chance you actually are 'with us', please look out for my brother, he's really struggling at the moment and I feel absolutely useless. 

And on that note, I'll leave this here. I miss you.

Love your annoyingly sarcastic and obviously favourite godchild xx",4.065295175383056,5.148080471140943,4.780666075724959,85.8239230087375,71.13422818791946,7.985057616816514,26.00291249841712,8.334251077139745,1.5251836140306452,2921,89,602,44,53,940,298,745,0.18600000000000005,0.65,0.16399999999999998,-0.9798,1,2,1,0,0,0,93.0,12,40,6,10,32,53,8,3,30,2,64,8,2,4,9,126,126,53,6,19,20,11,8,4,0,8,3,3,0,3,37,35,0,1,29,0,3,8,13,26,1,2,28,16,116,27,74,76,23,72,0,8,5,3,98,29,0,24,37,416,153,4,0.0,0.0,0.09577727962175032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050825327897181666,0.10830761606247884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033371650780047085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048667708024887735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194861587548775,0.269232654056434,0.0,0.0,0.05528900980276365,0.15449877630952302,0.13020452159743248,0.053575532774611634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836236497627003,0.0,0.0,0.031648336349480416,0.050592605464110166,0.0,0.0,0.10186105389213422,0.05127134426770178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070602540683393,0.0,0.0,0.08877954853939984,0.12403957613345593,0.04689181535609708,0.0,0.0,0.231310558523238,0.0,0.17369119008446615,0.03505810557583983,0.04711823877835103,0.0537576011903604,0.04485227380077806,0.0417418789934855,0.0,0.053806540423367036,0.0,0.0,0.07691660723911628,0.0,0.0,0.04116050869569282,0.039248546760445514,0.054103687504088116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689980815615257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630462566121445,0.13157168310201536,0.0,0.0,0.2437052035435761,0.0,0.16987262960153074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429253734746423,0.0,0.1618170150088361,0.0,0.0,0.10392346425402263,0.1066369642588074,0.0,0.03466205183897899,0.0958992986598277,0.09836904270509146,0.04333278395777692,0.08685697520423014,0.1648374627109307,0.0,0.0,0.16688207914168895,0.1328722012555247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986018178326023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945452797386967,0.10411841945005487,0.04955022786745003,0.0,0.039169985400707055,0.05215734546634829,0.036074655973562485,0.0,0.037848494850579464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428490719106997,0.0,0.05386794709886543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163805582170767,0.0469566950631435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575091749398892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190848576962675,0.04668011940214292,0.03902520280742867,0.0,0.04966498401756191,0.03910521184507757,0.04467465523441324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04059409168773579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037779164204533186,0.04853492882167786,0.0,0.034734463366999736,0.0,0.1959507318638391,0.0,0.0,0.10260451743558403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039443406219566254,0.04289238655029843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722152985630886,0.09642889444243058,0.11687659020635853,0.057230284360339514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904488901358532,0.0999530196849946,0.0,0.04793766157225568,0.10217445153201997,0.2951467848713957,0.0,0.0,0.04049076230608381,0.02894481132331787,0.07790449216847989,0.07872757490300293,0.0,0.044122954095349234,0.1364748292746923,0.08856236980654855,0.0,0.056432082819546765,0.0,0.0,0.03572607959242073,0.0,0.0,0.10458118156264924,0.0,0.0,0.06320342735548252
mentalhealth,GreenspaceCatDragon,2018/03/14,"It's starting again So I've had depression for a couple of years with some ups and downs and now I'm taking anti-depressants for maybe 6 months. I was doing great, I started school again, got a job for the holidays and then since I'm back to school in the end of January, it has begun to go down again. I can't bring myself to attend classes. I can't get myself to do the homework. So I know I will fail this semester and I might be kicked out of the school. 

I don't know what to do. I'm lost, confused and especially angry at myself for not being able to act like a normal human being and go to my damn classes. 

Anyway. Thanks for reading me, I had to write and I need to be listened. (Well, read in this context!) Any advice and story will be welcomed. Thank you again. ",0.8288344903178668,2.951040652173916,2.835206430398248,91.6037194008038,83.47204968944101,5.278918523931312,19.408476434051877,6.522977012572876,0.1187929119473874,599,16,128,6,17,201,96,161,0.117,0.778,0.105,-0.4427,1,0,0,1,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,10,11,1,1,7,0,18,0,0,0,0,19,36,11,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,1,5,10,0,0,2,3,0,5,4,5,1,0,5,1,16,6,25,23,1,25,0,3,0,0,5,7,1,3,14,92,21,10,0.15733468907102466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374563723694332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699298380467606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120980664204849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408784090347545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710242743041905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393518351070938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220088128979458,0.0,0.1788338591567916,0.0,0.12583492364747476,0.17346205014105046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561304017622058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729340609116949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686578179798585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174939883162446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806384239138244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690724170961238,0.0,0.0,0.12558304775600115,0.0,0.0,0.11666167836555838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415458997208953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147545321446849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776933151141224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014888065136707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272460544334347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182961056377626,0.0,0.0,0.2897052862289417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146278061140324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013183813413323
mentalhealth,hidanmaccormick,2018/03/14,"What's wrong with me?? I have strong empathy for everyone.
If anything happens for anyone I feel bad for them like 10 times worse than it actually is.
It sucks what should I do ",1.6504285714285702,4.16920082857143,2.9939285714285724,89.18232142857146,83.57142857142857,6.928571428571428,23.035714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.39,139,5,29,3,4,45,29,35,0.29,0.5770000000000001,0.134,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,2,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,19,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.3544728222440223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539879891645146,0.0,0.2989180831115257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032927774008181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470943045170101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366660232487908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212146330059262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774622080592681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180994589901195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37017570472792655,0.0,0.3971492566772328,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dearaddie2017,2018/03/14,"Dissociation, Trauma and Living your life Background : I have been diagnosed with borderline, ptsd, generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I have ptsd as a result of multiple sexual assaults, along with prolonged emotional abuse and being stalked and harassed. 

I dissociate very often. It's my survival mode, as it is many. And after so many traumas I find myself dissociated more often than not. Sometimes it's worse than others. It's sometimes can grasp it before it gets out of hand, realizing what's happening and trying to ground myself. Sometimes it just happens and I snap out of it suddenly, like at a traffic light I'll stop seeing myself at the light but from my perspective. It can be frustrating.
Any tips? But also what's dissociating like for you? I often feel floaty and dizzy watching myself. 

Tldr; I have various mental health issues and dissociate on the regular. What are your experiences? Do you have any helpful tips? 

",5.579268292682926,8.632427597560973,6.539207317073172,66.43612804878053,71.8048780487805,9.465853658536586,31.59146341463415,9.827888789773867,4.0291658536585375,762,35,109,22,16,252,104,164,0.149,0.77,0.081,-0.8649,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,4,0,1,6,8,3,0,4,0,12,4,1,1,0,28,17,15,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,13,14,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,6,17,2,19,14,2,9,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,3,5,85,30,0,0.0,0.1810766732727959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221682298552244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20785711684868732,0.0,0.11691331411952802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004571920788918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316308842169489,0.15511761751762382,0.0,0.0,0.1751545964636761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191138931341352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494955088917602,0.0,0.0,0.07727463526908207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968239656145184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984653563129797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27029131365667675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244945155518856,0.0,0.0,0.10243766066880296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595131523070259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794722452893513,0.14932848137048946,0.0,0.13495028456722108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098880375094746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401509004624073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572964620640172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217844547374754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45345361117236205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277713926291123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376045738630847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609944241925528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574520466016786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Summerthunders,2018/03/14,"Hyper active understanding in a cage, im going insane I just want someone to talk to, i feel it getting worse, and my environment makes it so much worse, cracks in everything im starting to see. When does it end? ",2.5478571428571435,4.7607673571428615,4.519285714285715,81.36321428571429,77.80952380952381,7.057142857142857,24.785714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.624171428571429,167,6,32,3,4,57,32,42,0.198,0.713,0.08900000000000001,-0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,5,8,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21256745410601494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151413794568796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183069936887807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281986523242708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269076290216529,0.0,0.1380482830492373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5247573055747226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214070801296718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856283142381196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356351882059186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20581228101025986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719291275111126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952375180161645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25287225716169204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327142769448425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950810826955019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway72727381991,2018/03/14,"A late night metaphor I really appreciated Going through a fairly stressful time in a fairly stressful year or so, trying to sleep and a metaphor popped into my head that I really appreciated.


I am an underinflated balloon. My shape changes temporarily as I am squeezed but I eventually return to my original state. Extended, repetitive squeezing may cause my surface to wrinkle. As I am underinflated, I am resistant to popping when confronted with a sharp object unless it strikes me with notable velocity. However, the more I am being squeezed and my internal pressure builds, the easier it is for sharp objects to pierce me.

Before anybody goes and worries too much about me, “a sharp object” would refer to a particularly major negative life event, “popping” would refer to having one’s resilience and ability (short term) to manage stressors breached - not any sort of permanent damage or outburst. ",10.63583333333333,10.744770124183008,10.455678104575169,54.16430147058824,56.90849673202614,13.140196078431373,46.575980392156865,12.38480682065935,6.4230921568627455,731,42,99,21,8,241,102,153,0.196,0.721,0.084,-0.9634,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,3,10,0,11,3,2,2,0,20,12,12,0,2,5,0,6,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,0,6,16,0,19,8,4,17,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,4,10,74,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002630079532633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877277861140557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22663318526509535,0.2333822506551371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253810361772211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264154457181904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24886421774289694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582745515505236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621779882526376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703297172495627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494949672488713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826642454337529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077511366808486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054292785907332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864283988582234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978363816939724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22404604123746302,0.0,0.3134382514480356,0.0,0.0,0.14206933403184493
mentalhealth,aabmbad,2018/03/14,"Identifying Narcissism Hello.
I have identified an issue with myself that I want to be found interesting by other people. Like I would catch myself thinking that if so-and-so knew this about me, they would think me interesting or cool. And fantasizing scenarios in which that happens. Like I want people to have a high opinion and high regard for me.
Is this narcissism and how do I fix it and be more sincere in my relationships? ",4.781844484629296,7.255368594936713,5.839276672694397,73.29898734177216,71.91139240506328,9.071247739602173,27.74141048824593,9.606745405546679,2.949946112115733,345,13,58,9,7,114,53,79,0.0,0.775,0.225,0.9359,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,8,0,0,1,0,17,15,7,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,12,6,8,9,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,2,46,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689418309512364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690430323334145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5183131541702602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560133264338416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396672668933838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400988231596664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263343794198134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31433685029225444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893503463549407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484861906030533,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fulltime-asshole,2018/03/14,"I can't control my emotions! I've been dealing with mental illness for at least the last 8 years. It's gotten worse and worse despite my attempts at therapy. (I've now taken steps to get more intensive outpatient treatment, so hopefully my initial assessment goes well). 

Something I've really had trouble dealing with is my emotions. I feel like I have no control over them, especially when it comes to their intensity. When I feel something I REALLY feel it no matter the context. For example, one of my brothers may make a passing comment about me being bossy, and I feel so intensely angry I have to bite my lip and walk away to avoid screaming in his face or hitting him. Also minor inconveniences (such as traffic, an unexpected errand, or spilling something on my shirt) ruin my entire day and often make me want to cry or become violent out of frustration. 

I also have no idea how to express these strong emotions or deal with them appropriately. I usually do some form of self harm (no breaking of skin or leaving scars), or get extremely suicidal because I feel like I don't want to deal with how I feel or wake up the next day and have to feel so intensely all over again. I've tried taking up art (something I like to do!), playing video games, hiking, reading, etc., but they all only distract me for a bit and don't do anything to actually help me feel any better.

Because my emotions are so intense and unproportional to what's going on around me, I have trouble figuring out what's ""real"" and what's not. If I get into an argument with someone, I won't know if my angry or sadness or whatever is to be trusted and how I should proceed to act. I don't want to ignore how I feel because I can't make it go away, but what if it's not something I should really be feeling? This makes me want to isolate myself from everyone even more because I don't want to end up confused in this way.

I've had a lot of issues with my relationships because of my emotions. I always try explaining and apologizing (even though I always end up feeling short changed because I'm ignoring how I really feel), but it tends to do more harm than good sometimes because again I don't really know what happened to make me cause some kind of conflict. Because I've lost so many people to this, I feel extremely sad and suicidal and like I'm unlovable and immature because I have the emotional control of a small child. A lot of people tell me I need to take a ""chill pill"" or ""reel it in,"" but I really have no idea how to and it seems like nobody is accepting of my intense emotions. 

I've never been diagnosed with anything.",7.886110019646367,6.635050357563852,8.392836149312378,71.15348998035364,63.106090373280935,11.2874184675835,39.41697445972496,10.355215969177356,4.09952598821218,2068,97,377,40,25,692,228,509,0.171,0.723,0.106,-0.9907,0,1,5,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,4,7,26,31,2,3,12,0,33,8,5,15,3,106,78,48,2,12,19,1,14,5,0,4,3,1,0,2,17,26,0,7,21,5,0,7,16,17,1,1,7,15,58,14,64,63,13,45,0,4,0,0,21,21,0,22,20,260,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.05574926884285401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137143523764324,0.09507113677509092,0.0,0.0,0.038849404335017074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940239337497252,0.050856562447575734,0.0,0.0,0.1073483930891498,0.0,0.0,0.3134255571163393,0.06309404596811162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050525600697488966,0.06236963070671055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868680493634356,0.060434479636254375,0.04921122698292539,0.0,0.0,0.1922237346296168,0.0,0.0,0.06275308020546212,0.0736864366390117,0.2355882960650395,0.0,0.057984322440242216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4498338687787354,0.10119795886401872,0.0,0.06371348585480842,0.0754657977928921,0.0,0.0,0.05458882171514223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755171508872057,0.08162536086167184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954200061618624,0.0,0.06493499532508648,0.04791675591637304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051862881430837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03829209371120683,0.0,0.0,0.05674158616494225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898246244098718,0.0,0.05962741179788422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059490641597774285,0.06279276469118608,0.04656743063047765,0.0,0.0604909344957271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395507317586669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062362611100619435,0.09713737884252553,0.0,0.0,0.19066890736107567,0.05791942970398487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757218802622159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042360130095065285,0.04406109513770652,0.0,0.060756910005814624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0387118151811583,0.043448871606902216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792115506758893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571440558564625,0.06502484934288774,0.2195882489342255,0.0,0.0,0.061334732374282164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05200772824120862,0.05959758496089965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048404874041352464,0.21990192143842796,0.0565016422649373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249788234582279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590718897174038,0.0,0.049932910989908194,0.0,0.0653315283863002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056128555558488016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757313339280958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291907747855423,0.0,0.16847963049713566,0.04534602042487236,0.0,0.0,0.05136546871485634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643784000886485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036788942819695816
mentalhealth,orihihc,2018/03/14,"Stuck in the psych ward for the next few weeks. Anybody have any pro-tips for how to survive/benefit? (Also, what should I send myself on Amazon?) I’ve got a God-awful depression that’s landed me in the hospital. I’ve already been in for two weeks and will be stuck here for at least another 3 weeks while I initiate MAOIs +/- ECT.  

Anybody have any hospital pro-tips? I.e. thoughts on how to survive, get through it, actually benefit even when it’s the same damn groups over and over?

On a related note, I’ve decided to send myself a care package via Amazon but can’t think of what to include other than fuzzy socks and snacks... anybody got any bright ideas?

?",3.9330232558139535,5.5161728837209285,4.6254961240310095,84.87638372093025,72.10077519379846,8.26077519379845,28.403875968992253,8.841846274778883,2.1818024806201546,518,20,103,10,10,166,84,129,0.059,0.857,0.084,0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,7,0,7,1,0,2,0,12,15,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,6,1,5,3,20,6,3,18,0,1,1,0,3,10,1,0,6,60,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.20211498537999975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285572562037913,0.1656303004552592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422537207330576,0.21717880463150566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111681959334418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838839506266102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679792519427386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820937219493956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312985913152714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23380834450063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22026983012411705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271133752733053,0.0,0.1644266811092978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023218827281779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4984070140652578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misslobug,2018/03/15,"Feeling Broken I saw a new psychiatrist (after years of not seeing one) today. Things have just been off with my medication, so I expected some changes. As I walked out of the pharmacy, it hit me that I know have 6 different prescription medications. I'm feeling really broken by this. 
What is wrong with me? 
Why do I have to take all of these drugs to try to get through each day? 
I'm really struggling. 😔",3.2317179023508125,5.320227759493669,4.943074141048825,79.72430379746838,75.20253164556964,9.071247739602173,26.475587703435806,9.606745405546679,2.6201992766726945,319,12,62,9,7,108,61,79,0.165,0.797,0.038,-0.901,1,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,0,1,12,16,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,4,8,0,14,13,3,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,5,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415476452097968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725687522406294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385609740122371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26479555083031525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309055871585413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929536210892334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548668027473167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46004601211703705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22052690146114892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547253795364224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925538796453637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18195304921219585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23870481618040956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716791418376727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169530860398156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21643442572284455,0.0,0.0,0.1550241502479819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603638839240832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496479521639538,0.0,0.1470399441070813
mentalhealth,acupofteo,2018/03/15,"BBC3 Documentary following 5 boys from the UK (16-17 years old) travelling around Europe. Hi I'm Sam, one of the boys in the documentary. In summer of 2016, we went travelling around Europe for 2 weeks and had it all documented by a film crew, as a raw representation of being a young male from the UK. Each of us has had our own experiences and challenges to face as teenagers such as mental health, sexuality, isolation etc and these are spoken about in the documentary. Some of you may find it an interesting insight, or relatable so give it a watch :
Feel free to ask me any questions in the comments and I'll try to answer them.

Link : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL64ScZt2I7wETKEXvxxqj7NmmeC4vawiJ",9.412299651567947,10.050279056910572,8.435214866434384,65.8829268292683,59.2439024390244,11.581416957026715,33.01858304297329,11.20814326018867,3.6635119628339146,576,19,98,14,7,179,89,123,0.023,0.917,0.061,0.5574,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,1,1,1,5,3,0,0,11,0,6,2,1,0,1,18,12,9,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,6,3,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,2,6,4,22,7,5,15,0,0,1,0,13,6,0,4,5,62,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253956550399762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4255511097144469,0.22344836786280645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665668234776838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338042154000864,0.0,0.0,0.12085403503657625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21845695148541025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292866168000121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25406359592069755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408726359405685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080784019299945,0.0,0.1619639149459243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26775342740484026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227666308239902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287507684226287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917247951301297,0.0,0.0,0.22157089359814436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391893089786654
mentalhealth,ButteryGoats,2018/03/15,"My identity is kinda broken I'm a 15 yr old tranny with a taste for the over dramatic, intimacy problems and a broken personality. Some days I'll feel 'green' and I feel like myself, I'm relaxed, kind and funny. But that's at 10:30pm when I'm on my own. Most of the time I'm 'pink' and I'm getting worst. Today I made my friends snap and they've all pulled me aside, told me 'you've changed' and have sent me away from the group. I feel terrible, since I see why they did it. I was horrible, mocking and sadistic but at the time it felt right and brought me contentment. I now don't understand how I could have done it. I am in the middle of the usual teenage existencial crisis and trans body issues, but I can't help but feel something further is wrong. I've looked far and wide for others that have this disconnect with their actions but I can't find anyone. I've never cut, but I do have a plan laid down for running away if it all gets too much (bag packed, food bought, notes written) and I've been struggling with my weight, resulting in a turn to the realm of eating disorders. I have no idea what to do so... here I am. I have a therapist on the NHS but I have to wait a year to get into a gender clinic, he doesn't seem to understand how extreme my action disconnect is and I haven't told him about the eating. In simple terms: wut do",2.1004076738609108,3.7895171402877694,3.571384892086332,90.08870803357316,77.23741007194245,6.791606714628299,23.09412470023981,7.6454224807358475,0.8933520383693043,1047,32,230,15,24,345,158,278,0.126,0.816,0.058,-0.9585,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,1,8,11,2,1,17,0,25,7,1,4,3,47,52,24,0,3,8,0,6,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,9,16,5,1,10,1,1,6,7,7,0,0,12,11,29,4,28,39,8,34,0,0,4,0,11,17,0,5,12,144,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264684388410398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489755866457552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717725368671628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016707272526674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579019787548616,0.0,0.0,0.08545132005281751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185609097158753,0.0,0.0,0.13559315631103208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711604639758543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26798323949555103,0.09465778443850932,0.1272204534770136,0.0,0.1211022899063006,0.0,0.16021911627002874,0.0,0.10236890956625186,0.0,0.20767681277106026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881172993175973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957598958462998,0.0,0.13829522180380716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797800754630307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473264164765652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112663445185908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253743831385909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740249659103432,0.0,0.1021919070651996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903610559105614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569359341277052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267842813016965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315398670199348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558507519027344,0.12062271522047315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960508896130584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200471254226016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13851741465072193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384231906783136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452323596369438,0.0,0.12559418604224454,0.25321820885648283,0.0,0.0,0.14412158315395726,0.0,0.2758736403288722,0.0,0.0,0.14592965740458885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134889172938333,0.0,0.0,0.11956033523227527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486757938081354,0.0,0.08532543764305968
mentalhealth,NoMoreBlackPills,2018/03/15,"I have become very emotional in recent years, but never about sad things? So basically I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this type of thing. I'm not and never have been a very emotional person, I hate outbursts of emotion typically. It annoys me. Recently though when I've been reading books or watching movies/shows I get very teary eyed or cry. The only thing is that it's never during something that's sad. It's only if someone does something brave, or if someone sacrifices themselves, or if someone has a profound thought, or if a powerful person humbles themselves. All these random situations make me feel very emotional. Like seeing a man about to go into battle in a movie and seeing his wife and kids. But it's not that i'm like worried he'll die, it's more like I find it so beautiful that I can't help myself. Or like thinking about someone coming from the dirt and making something of themselves. Even more innocuous things like I was watching this movie and this kid and this guy bond over something and the kid ends up buying him a gift that was very personal but wasn't actually a good gift. Like it was something he already had, but it just tore me up. It was just so beautiful for some reason. Or like thinking about how humans come together to build civilization. Or seeing someone with true conviction about their beliefs regardless of what they may be. 

Idk it's just all these things that I find so pretty and heartwarming are just making me cry nowadays. I still never get like this for things that are sad though really. Anyone got any ideas on whats happening? ",4.450288780986455,6.725639202657808,4.88048172757475,80.69173204702277,72.25581395348838,7.687247636084845,27.85599284436493,8.502166056373571,2.2171399437771533,1284,49,224,23,26,407,152,301,0.155,0.6579999999999999,0.188,0.9519,1,0,5,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,19,18,3,0,10,0,19,1,1,5,7,60,41,33,1,6,23,1,1,8,0,2,0,0,0,9,32,12,0,0,10,2,1,3,8,6,0,0,11,8,18,12,22,27,5,20,2,3,6,0,17,7,0,17,18,151,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0733701406994192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296899912699282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112867525103325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514281113565543,0.07703636501833548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303640793971327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953119288096654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517534380495702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780306131618278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579528242039702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280778487236903,0.3382939869240268,0.0665919807959851,0.0,0.0,0.049659271923959435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03801601592204409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374362542953095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856257514020205,0.0,0.04272961638965435,0.0630619772494946,0.060132662139375875,0.0,0.0,0.07444540308198036,0.06648623346963675,0.0,0.0,0.07423005316335081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039521345447589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487520655856831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29385445330812365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505605886906245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23195057562003535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143638253629953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969470701617396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649061889082974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520578305954848,0.0,0.04816571605527093,0.0773031511601395,0.1484730968274615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973917654489566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451158112364257,0.0,0.0,0.3185218831266273,0.2894071124320796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004318695950577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996991803353184,0.09635158410922934,0.14773861986207207,0.05968883853439155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31017929713149417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153539902722272,0.0,0.07635446067111656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0484169562559197
mentalhealth,thesmellofwater,2018/03/15,"Is depression permanent? I know that if I get help, my mood can change and maybe I can be happy. But what I want to know is if the brain damage it causes is permanent. I understand that depression and anxiety can degrade the hippocampus. I want to know if anyone has read anything about permanent damage or if I will eventually be myself again after treatment. 

A bit about me. I am from Canada. I will be 29 in April. I am male. I have been depressed for most of my adult life but its become pretty severe in the last few weeks.",2.046695804195803,4.4761020961538485,3.754965034965036,84.98094405594408,80.92307692307692,7.243356643356643,21.954545454545453,8.296473431620573,1.486184615384615,414,13,80,9,11,138,67,104,0.165,0.735,0.1,-0.7140000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,0,16,2,1,1,0,17,23,9,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,15,1,10,17,3,7,0,5,0,0,3,2,0,6,5,62,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604666610215197,0.0,0.0,0.13348966022224573,0.0,0.15710378069490807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21084659544905776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842575701313068,0.0,0.0,0.2131202133831268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611855332379385,0.2019589025164084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493295017956028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974330482870104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203228690266469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796385883550396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31475966830519564,0.15561823713459105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484633787143788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917961190520323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942254846648961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096302103649224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156754934568134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874545622861575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252089302422619,0.0,0.15313757556081795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmericaExblain,2018/03/15,"i just need friends lol since people of my school suck and i love internet friends, don't be shy and come talk to me, i'm just a regular 17 girl ",0.5355208333333329,2.1886123437500022,2.213750000000001,98.18958333333336,81.8125,6.7666666666666675,23.166666666666664,7.793537801064563,0.775654166666667,113,4,29,2,3,37,27,32,0.075,0.541,0.385,0.9009,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,13,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31818631276566856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5707608247385119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333779331324996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738889970757974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25608009374321283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738301066223582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055531764290503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29689192585656426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OHYEAMUFFINS,2018/03/15,"Recently diagnosed with constant Hypomania. Looking for advice Hello everyone, I’m a 19 year old college student in the US and while I was getting rechecked for ADHD, the person checking me also gave a test for anxiety and bipolar 2. Eventually he decided I displayed a constant state of Hypomania, and was worried about prescribing adderral for fear of it progressing into full blown mania. 

Eventually, he decided to put me on a low dose, so I could actually learn from the classes I’m paying a few grand for, but told me to call immediately if I noticed any worsening symptoms. 

Currently I like myself, haven’t had trouble making or maintaining friendships, and have no issues with depression or anxiety. This recent development has made me a little more wary for my mental health. I was wondering if there are any resources or advice people with a little more experience than myself could give, I’d rather not progress to full blown manic states. 

For reference, the symptoms I displayed the most were racing thoughts, constant talking, impulsivity, affinity for drugs/alcohol, and no worrying about consequences. ",11.547446189645145,10.726627083769635,11.158917975567194,52.857795229784784,55.64921465968586,14.352763234438624,48.44735311227458,13.205437297517054,6.95241314717859,907,52,122,28,9,299,127,191,0.166,0.7909999999999999,0.044,-0.9694,1,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,12,0,11,6,0,2,0,28,22,14,0,5,8,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,9,0,0,6,0,2,1,4,4,0,0,9,1,15,2,23,11,6,20,0,2,1,0,10,8,0,7,10,88,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.12183493589012005,0.0,0.15004463219475406,0.2440026397320381,0.0,0.13342596416317548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984196371925563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980365069425887,0.0,0.19101879072740413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274851244431912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047533150589122,0.0,0.19936406109646765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753254458168138,0.12671944141639616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929888466750815,0.0,0.12212660098954525,0.0,0.1404902059023012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522862171398988,0.1197668532804712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270899907378067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031026315639668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099507602570421,0.2502636545719063,0.0,0.0,0.10484199269904718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813545433289092,0.0833378969329875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581875929172373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214178916702064,0.1310083694251851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655480510029151,0.1090136188834852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550805979502835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465473019533755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25953251467474303,0.0,0.10034916186860468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911642184231066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929888466750815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017837113350416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539377216071866,0.0,0.2535811089391524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039887487201476
mentalhealth,Sir1us_Black,2018/03/15,"Why don't all therapists/counselors have email as a way to contact them? I have pretty bad social anxiety and it's only made worse talking over the phone. Not being able to see the person I'm talking to drives me insane and makes it hard for me to hear them correctly. I much prefer contacting people over email. So, why don't all therapists have this as a form of contact? I'm currently trying to find a therapist in a new area and I'm just frustrated when the only option is to call. Especially when I call multiple times and they don't answer, if they think I'm going to leave a coherent voicemail theyre kidding themselves!",4.602759856630826,5.950481354838715,5.770430107526881,78.23120071684589,70.12903225806451,9.059498207885305,29.10035842293907,9.444778638647367,2.706386379928316,504,19,92,11,9,168,78,124,0.14800000000000002,0.813,0.039,-0.9012,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,4,0,4,2,1,0,8,0,8,0,0,2,3,17,18,10,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,14,16,4,12,0,0,1,0,18,4,0,2,5,56,12,0,0.1715014121030065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119811083879235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431965154872412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502442335291258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674918365209958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746820474973146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363157893393176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329455578305954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815952325680489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227878286252978,0.11447852430904698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607327110110006,0.0,0.0,0.16563713250202552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608691041078904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889748511059935,0.1497484179305036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447859197935991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666442108341878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482409195691573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756926773807354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982527158435472,0.0,0.1098911799520991,0.0,0.0,0.1000038525750853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643820116958675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612983819371913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095066981694699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477459070850251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,duyh91,2018/03/15,I need help on taking medicines (absolutely cannot afford professional mental care) Hi i read that aspirin or ibuprofen can help with depression and stress. Has anyone any experience on this ? Are there side effects i should be aware of ? ,4.7265853658536585,8.125903121951218,4.588487804878049,76.77053658536586,78.75609756097559,7.182439024390242,27.71219512195122,8.238735603445708,2.5218936585365856,192,8,30,4,5,59,36,41,0.152,0.7290000000000001,0.119,-0.3527,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,6,9,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,7,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,18,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580149244909086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218909002821151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235483956178538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27332373023426204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104185646601007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254114632295943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198032070834024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353029461152669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174250094564133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635109046518109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385995346587275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reubTV,2018/03/15,"Need help obtaining my SOs medicines My SO is on effexor for depression. She only has a 3 week supply left and for the past week or two she has been trying to make an appointment with a psychiatrist in the new city where she moved to in order to get a new script (nyc btw)

She is trying really hard to call her in network doctors. She called 20+ of them today but none of them get back to her.

I am really worried that she won't be able to get an appointment and her meds in time.  Is there any advice anyone has or methods to get an appointment from psychiatrist?? She also wants to go to a female doctor who isn't a bad doctor because thats who she is comfortable seeing. But I think she would see anyone at this point to ensure her subscription gets renewed.

Thanks in advance ",4.899999999999999,5.384644509554138,5.940643312101913,80.43453184713377,68.87261146496813,9.33732484076433,27.16496815286624,9.3871,2.154180127388535,616,18,123,12,10,205,97,157,0.043,0.848,0.109,0.9144,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,5,4,0,0,10,0,13,3,0,1,0,12,26,8,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,1,3,19,2,23,22,1,22,0,1,2,0,20,10,0,2,8,83,24,3,0.13608234264658592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297809027639604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882500024927852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254065946204576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030387610111707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463892163351128,0.11362307194664956,0.08295453300671961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779105735203787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720752231809445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4178581320041035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554870372063814,0.0,0.07733873134487171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190304971522045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121312578333454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785386345707638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908360204133045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115680511219828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446339941963998,0.0,0.1009033327793408,0.0,0.2628583490216457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349675368794092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990599409419373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286417995013325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435566657387006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688001689806571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528633786963933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719607040376683,0.0,0.0,0.079350708342435,0.0,0.12899014913828494,0.0,0.0,0.18478195595491576,0.0,0.13293267522796035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080264891464879,0.0,0.21831409382143888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819822455171415,0.0,0.09666899182298352,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nickthegreek69,2018/03/15,"I think i am developing depression. Long story short,all my friends betrayed me,my class doesn't necessarily like me and i can't make any new friends. 

The long story:
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/83w4bc/i_feel_so_alone_and_trapped/

This situation has fucked me up,mentaly speaking,every day i am at school i want to break down.

What can i do so my mental health won't deteriorate???
",8.640952380952381,12.367241269841273,6.111349206349207,69.94892857142858,64.87301587301587,8.009523809523811,27.96031746031746,8.841846274778883,2.3928222222222217,332,11,50,6,6,94,48,63,0.226,0.659,0.115,-0.85,0,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,0,8,2,0,1,0,4,12,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,10,3,3,11,0,7,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,0,5,26,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265241744383938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163736634271642,0.0,0.21867319930998916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391143058621476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39230618546503104,0.2347151898765032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26987087041957397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403675992773765,0.0,0.0,0.4493654461299857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947208509754733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558591981112817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452064296261951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569480188276622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853805366823613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268105754085313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974960874319665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sad-mom-,2018/03/15,"A little hope I've been struggling with postpartum depression and feeling very alone. I've felt like my fiance doesn't understand and has been kind of bitter towards me lately. 

But he just texted me and said he has a surprise for me and I think I feel happy for the first time in over a week.",4.625338983050849,5.5133657288135645,4.962500000000002,85.75527542372883,69.67796610169492,7.933898305084746,26.614406779661017,8.07648339933343,1.5089966101694916,234,7,47,3,4,74,44,59,0.179,0.634,0.187,-0.1227,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,1,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,12,5,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,5,6,5,7,8,0,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26427527753745084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977431444204515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25803944250698657,0.0,0.2449996123077661,0.0,0.0,0.21704427914865984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716292144810349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534376578311101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657163799683369,0.0,0.0,0.28783864061308695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466133922560585,0.25574361383926203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427215331584065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667551636532461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350022776711928,0.0,0.0,0.1487894904827031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26563706180593777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053887675433214,0.0,0.0,0.20467897176611485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Philip-Jeffries,2018/03/15,"How well does melatonin work for sleep? I have a lot difficulty staying asleep. My doctor prescribes my Klonipin for anxiety and said if I need to I can take it for sleep but not on a regular basis. I don’t want to “waste” the klonipin bc I take is as needed for anxiety. In addition, I don’t want to build a tolerance. I’ve taken over the counter meds like Benadryl and unisom but end up taking 3-4 of them to actually work and it’s still not always effective. I’ve tried sleeping pills but my doesn’t doesn’t want to continuous prescribe ambien and others in the same family which I understand. Does melatonin help anyone? ",4.4730894308943085,5.840499073170732,5.665203252032522,78.7877235772358,70.46341463414635,9.369105691056909,29.92682926829269,9.725611199111238,2.8812048780487807,498,20,95,12,9,166,78,123,0.1,0.769,0.131,0.4076,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,6,0,7,6,4,2,0,21,18,10,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,2,1,11,2,16,16,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,4,59,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.15529738312574262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241697208243902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434828574503755,0.0,0.0,0.11127417276426686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288621799404854,0.27852843362443536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095053186749654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002273846105438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666798096524943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774761500995488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352948751710106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676832223440603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360001301962503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513782896273395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4777638620710646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962173736424332,0.12708916352691108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589597294075549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804540460185487,0.0,0.0,0.16567003163897914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815941403638803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308569493404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317111821073269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CptnREDmark,2018/03/15,"Self worth, breakups and overcoming things. Earlier this year I went through a breakup. It was bad, she told me that she never liked me, was never attracted to me and than got a new boyfriend a week later. My self worth was shattered. I felt replaceable and worthless. I lost 20 pounds in a month and lost another 10 since than. Partly because I wanted to be more attractive, and better looking, partly just as punishment for... something... anything... 

Yesterday I tried to make myself throw up after eating too much, and I wrapped a scarf around my face when cleaning my room because I hated my face so much that I didn't want to see it in the mirror while cleaning it. 

Logically and objectively I know that I am an attractive, intelligent guy. But I can't feel that way. I am filled with self loathing and disgust. ",4.796885964912281,6.697991934210532,4.953947368421055,82.10596491228073,70.44736842105263,8.224561403508767,31.08771929824561,8.841846274778883,2.6211561403508776,642,28,118,12,12,201,99,152,0.209,0.6920000000000001,0.098,-0.9543,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,5,12,3,0,7,0,8,3,2,1,2,21,22,13,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,9,10,1,0,4,0,2,3,4,7,0,0,10,4,22,5,15,11,5,20,0,3,2,0,7,5,0,0,12,82,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561839224051869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257069458378055,0.13259441367206115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243645282389703,0.18159342439727064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173152249167772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240997149190452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531208143872713,0.0,0.14301248348170234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912652702626066,0.0,0.0,0.14748095305794234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705433153497924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185737903203888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727679833811873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507797152609162,0.0,0.3251865032155581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942328289724793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188880789124687,0.0,0.2189863745033533,0.0,0.2297542261750566,0.14385394625266304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225901847868501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869147930911575,0.0,0.4661526332402378,0.0,0.0,0.12321050229098135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466668188021788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895377219791372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232524693011372,0.0,0.10112523973210936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570560609149555,0.11822720021226828,0.11947630362770767,0.0,0.0,0.1380753665201556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591698825143616
mentalhealth,ElectronicBus,2018/03/15,"What can a psychologist do to help me? Hi reddit,

I'm a 22 year old guy from Sydney, Australia. I'm new to reddit and just found out about this subreddit. I just want to get something off my chest and ask for some advice. So I've been really sad for about a year which means that I've had trouble getting out of bed, trouble getting myself to eat, trouble enjoying things I used to enjoy, etc. However in the past few weeks, it has been getting worse. I now have trouble getting out of bed before 12pm, I am losing a lot of weight because I don't ever feel like eating, I still don't enjoy doing anything, etc. The reason is because of the pain I experience when I see people having better/easier lives than me due to being wealthy, being born into a wealthy family, being white, being tall, being good looking, etc. When I see someone having a better/easier life then it feels like I've been stabbed by someone, it emotionally and physically hurts. I have thought about suicide a few times in the past year but in the past few weeks, I've been thinking about it daily.

I've been thinking about ending my life because I want the pain and suffering to end but when I die, I want to know that I have exhausted every option. The only thing left is seeing a psychologist but I've been very hesitant about it because A) I know what I'm sad about and I know what would make me happy but I don't know why I'm sad which I feel is information they really need and I don't have, and B) I'm not too sure what they could possibly do. I know they could try to change my thinking but I doubt it'll work. People say I can still enjoy life + be happy + be successful despite life being unfair (even though I might have to work a little harder), people say I am better off than many people in this world, people say a challenging life is more fun ... but that all means nothing to me. If I know I have to work harder then that is painful, if I know some people are better off than me then that is painful, if I know that life is unfair then that is painful, if I know my life is more challenging then that is painful. So what exactly can a psychologist do to help me then? I know that life is unfair, they know that life is unfair and if they try to change the way I think about it (e.g. by seeing challenges as positives or whatever) then I will still know that life is unfair and that's what I find painful. You just can't trick yourself.

I just want the pain to end.

(I also posted this in /r/SuicideWatch)",4.1716705417344775,4.882242998023717,5.208979307137877,84.22387816786797,70.60079051383399,8.008277144850036,25.949546617065806,8.124751697461798,1.4451080678911885,1951,56,402,26,34,643,194,506,0.154,0.695,0.151,-0.5942,1,0,1,0,0,2,62.0,0,1,5,10,26,38,1,1,21,0,58,23,1,3,4,76,104,36,2,13,17,0,4,2,0,4,19,3,2,1,32,13,3,0,26,0,0,0,6,21,0,0,9,13,52,17,48,81,12,49,0,6,6,0,15,16,0,12,33,269,84,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517636999092188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236175029898305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359150530222883,0.0,0.04952174065939282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916514423523562,0.0,0.04507533537497408,0.0,0.0,0.18739798711808944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120748658108095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458778513719248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054976652013278456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840731714807553,0.0,0.059586456019305574,0.14075261003664932,0.0,0.17723360291579895,0.034987556821248184,0.04791627574475201,0.04463125897090392,0.0,0.0,0.05181685519056838,0.049937359165340915,0.0,0.08035282026848993,0.07568652382209673,0.0,0.0,0.048415518091160736,0.0,0.0,0.058081147521334975,0.0,0.0,0.13837861769048665,0.0,0.0,0.044430464378444175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245068381992979,0.0,0.1127795205198768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101213231467862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670770330067455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493448137062798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755431592153961,0.0,0.374157440789039,0.051758961539135735,0.05309193674163183,0.04677531388858404,0.0,0.04448320275483812,0.05926220367554182,0.0,0.0450349649923144,0.0,0.0,0.035359272281988735,0.053705371097615986,0.0,0.11540424082891122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619500187323555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039278123388398194,0.0,0.051160761404784434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082813589883392,0.0,0.05558528324094137,0.0,0.0,0.04028765105849815,0.4509281921527658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170352230334735,0.22034500750480807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971805685594653,0.05073260628519121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787053704292542,0.05446411694916512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637656371179354,0.0,0.0,0.16884754605338942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976613673892374,0.04078049233664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691070574038965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057942853783881226,0.0,0.04992555503773369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038458744300366,0.13576947036198714,0.05204479603559295,0.0420539115638694,0.030888443695381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192912529280443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045750866042584035,0.0,0.043707510652917725,0.12497721230311587,0.04204676853975125,0.0849820088033849,0.06450571820365117,0.0,0.0,0.04779905960409345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569290737740184,0.0,0.05398307130647295,0.03762984317830784,0.0,0.0,0.10233684118706747
mentalhealth,marleebelle98,2018/03/15,"My boyfriend (19m) was just committed at the mental hospital after have a schizophrenic break. I’m afraid he will resent me. How can I help show him support now and once he gets out? My boyfriend (19m) was just committed at the mental hospital after have a schizophrenic break. He was extremely paranoid and impulsive (afraid to sleep, thinking lights were telling him things, etc) , but didn’t think he needed treatment. I was able to convince him to go, and now he will be there for a few days. I am afraid he will only resent me for getting him there and will not continue his treatment once he leaves. How can I support him while he’s there, once he’s out, and help ensure that he will continue his medication/treatment once he’s back at home?",6.9733041958041975,6.8446064965034985,6.564466783216788,79.83593094405596,64.45454545454545,10.226923076923079,33.95891608391608,9.827888789773867,3.081392307692308,591,23,114,11,8,184,73,143,0.035,0.823,0.142,0.9339,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,10,8,2,3,5,0,17,3,1,2,2,18,26,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,6,1,15,3,12,14,2,17,0,0,0,0,21,5,0,0,9,71,17,0,0.1563122175807045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201944467421913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008084489524361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432944187114546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333336427411355,0.0,0.0888358354675821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954556904842436,0.0,0.15679389915264416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551206871548482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150519005908197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590352871117518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6658696409781766,0.0,0.1188824851684156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564251043948376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547625042539992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662376790541486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384689170173056,0.20031711483000364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,s5311t,2018/03/15,"First counselling appointment? I've finally booked myself in with a counsellor and I'm really nervous, I've never done anything like this before, any advice? ",5.747777777777778,9.222114148148147,6.2755555555555596,66.10000000000002,74.18518518518519,9.525925925925927,31.222222222222214,9.725611199111238,4.440911111111111,130,6,16,4,3,42,24,27,0.188,0.812,0.0,-0.5944,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,9,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684669478947428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564194919424201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31029522505189394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208574982096809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858719633672277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130600813285869,0.0,0.3207342506002463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842166094963607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908184519949958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24155971926313205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sweatyonions,2018/03/15,"I can’t feel sad without wanting to hurt myself I used to cut really bad, but I eventually stopped and started hitting my forehead in or pulling my hair out whenever I got these feelings.  I used to give into them really easily but not as much anymore.  I guess what I’m asking is if anyone has any immediate coping strategies to take them out of that panic state.  It’s hard because what triggers me is my father and I can’t really leave because he is the one helping me through school... “Just don’t do it” isn’t becoming much of an option anymore, I’ve been looking for professional help for a year now and it’s an extremely slow process.. ",6.5185151856017995,6.134103078740162,7.466816647919012,73.84362204724412,65.45669291338582,10.406749156355458,37.04049493813272,9.957137785484203,3.687068391451069,509,24,95,10,7,172,87,127,0.126,0.782,0.092,-0.331,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,2,0,2,5,1,1,4,0,10,2,2,3,0,22,24,8,0,2,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,2,5,15,0,15,21,2,11,0,2,1,0,8,4,0,4,5,64,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716571493075853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34173837203083296,0.12047185435622873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107147628687946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438581541848449,0.2100574433547406,0.1902850025699034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423387805203813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652799445976589,0.0,0.0,0.13779911792467867,0.0,0.18980108208720095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543414327837324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309698494823616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844441121385653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243429232281005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446834267593818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533115838878884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675076052271754,0.0,0.0,0.20214969073445765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311275245677533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437055774662294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195046208394435,0.0,0.0,0.14404535954365744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954352049734344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29761310635532195,0.0,0.0,0.10162336692855883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660851070940656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095157984523474
mentalhealth,Charlie_29,2018/03/15,"My grandpa died this morning & I need to rant So my grandpa died this morning and I need to rant. Ok so a bit of backstory, I was really close to my grandpa he was like my parent as a kid when my parents divorced I lived with them for years and he and my nana live next door so I see them everyday, he was my favourite relative. He was diagnosed with skin cancer about 5 months ago and he was in a lot of pain and was in hospital for a while but he was slowly getting better but then they found out he had cancer in his lymph system that it was aggressive and was incurable that was less than 3 months ago. He was really depressed and lost 50kg in a month and has been in and out of hospital and in pain and he has been really mean, grumpy and depressed for a few months. Last week he got pneumonia and went into hospital and has been there since and he just wanted to die so he wouldn't let the doctors treat the pneumonia so they just kept him comfortable.

I have been really detached and unfeeling since we found out he was sick and I was fine I didn't feel anything unlike the rest of my family who have been sad and worried. I went to see him last night and he was unresponsive so we just sat there and the others were talking to him but I didn't because it made me uncomfortable and  didn't know what to say or do. My parents told me he died this morning and I just went oh ok and went back to sleep and was fine all day I studied did a test and went to uni all fine and I haven't cried until I wrote this & IDK why? maybe because he hasn't been himself since and it feels like he was already gone, maybe its because I'm mad at him for not letting them treat him, maybe something is wrong with me idk, I'm ok and then I remember I'll never see him again I didn't even go see the body I just went back to bed. I hate showing feeling in front of people especially family so I will never cry in front of them or tell them how I feel.

Sorry about the rant I don't really know what the point is.",1.7900460034502572,3.4625444917257724,3.2629748897834014,92.03108108108108,78.07801418439715,6.842476519072263,22.07073030477286,7.730073105063049,0.7543750431282352,1572,45,357,24,37,516,180,423,0.187,0.723,0.09,-0.9938,3,0,1,0,1,0,21.0,2,0,7,2,22,22,3,0,14,3,44,11,3,2,4,72,79,47,4,4,11,6,5,2,0,2,8,1,2,1,14,38,0,1,10,1,0,10,11,10,0,0,45,10,50,12,41,30,7,50,0,4,4,0,48,15,0,3,26,228,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867995550971573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800965573797114,0.0,0.0,0.15728614566930674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597291860391659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162287398327407,0.0,0.13273679486942874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641932938443931,0.07924125543590282,0.08062275846003025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945686391295882,0.04680968671540616,0.0,0.12503034520392564,0.07366967631043904,0.3013165664406361,0.0,0.0,0.07429123071263696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04794003501240345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684858071367348,0.0,0.1467995050048708,0.05185292903611469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916585773387734,0.0,0.0,0.037921343356110665,0.0,0.04125028874614378,0.0,0.05805082951608565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716601595180994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977885150257039,0.11832879636359105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844098055122776,0.0,0.07092025433696142,0.0,0.1281832965354728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923233695437548,0.06170701799911772,0.0,0.06867928538994215,0.0,0.0,0.2187565320028001,0.07906358500799816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317385312146725,0.0,0.0,0.10763795940834353,0.1119601464697132,0.0,0.07719227724638289,0.06811372855106634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446572498851166,0.0,0.2417827206495608,0.0,0.0,0.050319543738349896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686138921854111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23249093518959765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222178617695555,0.0,0.0,0.057720491126255234,0.0,0.0,0.2313553161460537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012290062418232,0.0,0.07263488534182139,0.0,0.0,0.05587752927218617,0.0,0.08125012956265353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058339037721858375,0.06344027549266529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935565781711657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042811019673180836,0.0,0.05822127704247782,0.0,0.0,0.4037080453356448,0.0654943871241836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371101862974429,0.0,0.0,0.07935753364422747,0.0,0.046740729136282716
mentalhealth,vinboi15,2018/03/15,"Slow processing speed and poor working memory? Anyone else ? Anyone in a similar boat? I just found out a few weeks ago and it makes sense after observing myself but I'm having a huge existential crisis now cause of it I guess. I scored 3rd percentile for PSI and 7th WMI. Other two scores were average and high average. I was suicidal months ago because I always knew I all my life I was mentally unfit and inferior. Despite that, I was raised to succeed in school and now that I've failed that I can't see what will come of me. I'd figure it was ADHD-pi but the docs for that said I had slight depression and opposition defiant disorder and said I am one of many students that just want adderall. In the in patient hospital the doc there persuaded me that it was depression that made what I now know as poor working memory and slow processing speed the way it is. He explained it to be chemical inbalances caused by my anxiety and depression sucking up all resources from other parts of the brain. Now my therapist is telling me that's not true and I am just born this way and there's nothing I can do. 

If you too have poor processing speed and working memory,  what was life in general like? Were you diagnosed with depression, anxiety, aspergers, ADHD, etc?",3.450416741836552,5.8952242780083,4.801086054483132,79.30412953274404,75.92946058091286,9.336532563593721,28.320584521017494,9.761364909221204,3.1970896987191058,1005,43,183,31,23,333,139,241,0.236,0.721,0.044,-0.9954,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,5,10,10,1,0,8,0,20,4,1,4,3,38,34,17,1,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,20,16,0,0,5,0,3,1,2,7,0,2,14,3,23,3,20,18,5,27,0,6,1,0,7,9,1,2,16,125,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911379340141108,0.0,0.21474038488098052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078587978486456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532091177399213,0.0,0.0,0.16938712950478274,0.1241070939324868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383680518389353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521579545678805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24885791704646265,0.0,0.104338645250454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172998715229688,0.12293954083444245,0.0,0.0,0.138819987109716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118457244174564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508662973555258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280754339048387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343307714259642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797543704684322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656724899058214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110863911292284,0.059175660466506214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461160457794335,0.08085201977321776,0.12280195393399722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206572505994605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966809888682208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622290798166796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207757861004884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116680137180595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304356286129396,0.0,0.0,0.1225851814296462,0.09652111208127016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324913228555715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058687743735021,0.0,0.0,0.14063570722310356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832173225043192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144278846966158,0.19228711124281508,0.09715933915923612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26454179147978324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,patzzxd,2018/03/15,"Easier to develop, harder to get rid of. Since high school, like my 4th year in (in the UK High School lasts 6 years) I had 2 years left but only in my 4th year that’s when I started to develop anxiety. Years prior to that I was a bubbly person, I could do presentations, speak to people and be a bit crazy! Fast forward to today all I’ve been thinking about is euthanasia in Switzerland. I’m in college now because I’ve left in 5th year, high school was not for me anymore.

Last year in college I was doing social sciences and it was pretty chill, had an amazing class etc and I could tackle presentations, of course there was anxiety but I could handle it.

This year is a different story, this year every time I had a presentation I would miss the day, I’ve missed so many college days because of anxiety and I can’t concentrate anymore, it’s a damn struggle. 

I’ve tried getting help but each time I was turned away, I tried discussing stuff with a private psychologist but they just stopped replying to me even though I asked for an appointment... I feel like everyone has turned away from me and like this what my life will be like. ",4.5054764573991015,5.753948098654711,5.1909164798206255,82.67050028026908,70.25560538116592,8.444955156950673,28.73570627802691,8.841846274778883,2.182210986547085,898,33,176,16,16,290,124,223,0.101,0.78,0.119,0.7871,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,1,1,10,0,23,1,0,0,1,21,34,12,0,4,6,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,0,1,10,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,10,2,21,5,24,17,4,40,0,2,0,0,7,15,1,0,30,108,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21413377326774516,0.0,0.18506659995173974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872274023208918,0.0,0.17532588119379508,0.0,0.0,0.1137554925576505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186468701310128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22348889600861327,0.0,0.0,0.12034776733953058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748366775076396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405952739456288,0.061626947163724674,0.0,0.07861332680366005,0.08915674464348974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047177715537000765,0.06665697505573845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749582463925408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254024750139729,0.2957449643227492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211174709320618,0.0,0.0,0.20275189859424456,0.0,0.06590394680093,0.1823360690383743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945964327818113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096251263891673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468580722695957,0.08147016133927629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949245356662474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832883477095554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718270318931639,0.0,0.0,0.09511250385518183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066041624902406,0.0,0.0,0.07800699924667923,0.0,0.09754244627557812,0.10681168470783516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059785954898140335,0.09167150229490907,0.0,0.1088135703393204,0.0,0.08844205023203379,0.0,0.0,0.12669568288519467,0.20297768071103506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628106012593799,0.0,0.0,0.5407671478999457
mentalhealth,anonymousadvice96,2018/03/15,"I feel like something is wrong with me mentally but I can't articulate it. I've been thinking about going to a doctor for help, but whenever I try to put what I think is wrong with me into words it never sounds right. I'm afraid that I will lead professionals to the wrong conclusions because I can't describe how I'm feeling properly. Any advice? ",4.514782608695653,5.830239898550726,5.69634782608696,78.80191304347828,70.30434782608697,8.998260869565216,29.74202898550725,9.3871,2.670910724637681,279,11,53,6,5,93,49,69,0.151,0.746,0.103,-0.6486,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,2,1,14,13,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,1,3,8,1,8,11,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,32,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074650817361711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437683259932002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942108684861928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173064032081456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146987748038367,0.1516729955414322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065962284828835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230568777697458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372304534962083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139566949690972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374514527898418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342834579592365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813100129307972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634451979031651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720769990874423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441433078030933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6963769494033881,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,17spades,2018/03/15,"Can someone tell me if this is paranoia or instinct. Help. So I vented to a friend about something and it turns out she hated the person I hate and called someone else who also hate that person and basically plotted (including me) to take revenge. After that, I stayed away from her but now, everywhere I go, in little things and small gestures people do kind of reminds me of what Ive told her. The secrets. She is known to dig dirt on people and I feel like in small things others do (social media) she has something to do with it. Like she’s stalking me. Its fucking me up to the point im dropping people i trust the most because the stuffs ive told them are kind of showing now. Its like im so guilty that in small things, im reminded of what ive done and shes letting me know she know. I feel like its paranoia but she is known to gather people and shit on someone she hates. I regret befriending her. I truly do. I need help. ",0.4415263157894742,2.8661927315789484,2.0929473684210538,93.59363157894741,90.10526315789473,4.092631578947368,20.231578947368426,5.6839178017228535,-0.02112210526315783,729,24,149,5,25,237,100,190,0.156,0.7090000000000001,0.136,-0.5036,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,6,15,6,0,6,0,16,2,1,0,0,23,31,14,0,3,4,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,17,9,0,0,7,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,3,2,31,8,22,27,1,19,0,1,0,1,25,13,2,3,7,105,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698535738905015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219537773171557,0.0,0.0,0.06630672808731834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106892030549896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131206889579368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086549607362908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099973244564842,0.15541424227596162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403739115186297,0.10055845638810963,0.0,0.0,0.06181793862292227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295614384723849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581587551870173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524790115974662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22653971483439575,0.11955708179264962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122728717505073,0.0,0.21256306624685933,0.10901865620171397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065345686608816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016367216718269,0.18995196499775666,0.0,0.0,0.1028252044949398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165344464919906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087990195521184,0.2764878491997913,0.16747682403902986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593705026079087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451852961528916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178340983218914,0.0,0.09507199042318172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21679091811124374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787363814473736,0.0,0.0,0.11831328386961452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pixeltarian,2018/03/15,What do you do when you feel so the sensation of depression/anxiety you can’t handle it? Are there any emergency things folks do? I often feel such intense anxiety that I’m frozen in a chair and can’t move. ,2.3235714285714257,4.480774452380956,3.9573809523809516,85.39178571428572,78.28571428571429,8.961904761904762,24.785714285714285,9.516144504307137,2.3898857142857137,165,6,34,5,4,55,33,42,0.12,0.847,0.033,-0.5204,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,9,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927220912972233,0.0,0.6585891371613827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352988857564581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575023076338111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859731530205749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,centeroflove,2018/03/15,I feel like im folded up Why do I feel like I'm folded the wrong way. I feel as if I'm my soul or energy or something g is folded a certain way and it is not supposed to be the way it is. ,-1.324787234042553,-0.5542141702127665,2.8010106382978712,95.90875,84.31914893617021,5.5510638297872354,18.132978723404253,5.985473137389443,-0.4538042553191488,142,3,40,1,4,55,29,47,0.067,0.7340000000000001,0.199,0.6249,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,9,10,5,0,1,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,3,3,9,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951439195596792,0.3721968884350196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28138045658706423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545304429461707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054260111380934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6203089650158021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23505718530000225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848115588194361,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lost_Butterscotch2,2018/03/15,"Always tired. Too tired to put in anything above the bare minimum. Too tired not to have my life slowly coming apart. Too tired to achieve what I need to or want to. Why am I always tired. I go to bed early, I sleep 6-8 hours, get up early so I'm not in a rush. I take my vitamins, supplements, etc. I've cleaned up my diet and quit drinking. I work an ""easy"" job with some but not serious physical exertion.

I can barely get through an 8 hour work day without coming apart from fatigue. Coworkers just think I'm somehow getting high at three in the afternoon. Lots of mistakes, some confusion, etc. I space my breaks, snacks, lunch, etc, doesn't help and that's with or abstaining from caffeine.

I get home and I deflate. I'll literally sit there for 10 minutes listening to an annoying alarm because it's too much to get up and turn it off. I'm just barely able to take care of myself in terms of chores and errands, appearing like a kid who doesn't know how to take care of themselves because I just barely put in the effort to do so.

I try ""training"" willpower, motivation, etc. Nothing big or sudden, trying to build up slow. Trying to keep better consistent habits. Etc. Been trying for years now. Still just as tired as ever.

Too tired to enjoy things I used to. Too tired to make the effort to try to force myself to enjoy them.

I just want to sleep forever. I feel like I'll never be rested until I die. Physically I'm tired. Mentally I'm wet mush. Emotionally I come off like a fucking holocaust survivor of despair, everything is negative even the happy stuff.

There's way happier, more productive people than me all around suffering far worse problems in life than I do.

The fuck is wrong with me. I spent two years as an unemployed Hikikomori before this job. I just want to go back to that and rot in peace.",2.328753501400559,4.685598226890762,3.6472478991596655,86.57630602240896,79.33613445378153,6.879831932773111,24.48249299719888,7.984000788550335,1.5259518207282912,1425,52,279,26,36,465,196,357,0.187,0.674,0.139,-0.9637,5,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,1,8,24,21,3,2,13,0,11,21,2,4,3,51,47,17,2,6,14,0,2,3,0,0,13,1,4,1,9,13,4,2,4,1,1,9,8,12,0,2,2,3,29,9,57,44,13,50,0,3,0,2,5,21,2,9,20,171,38,7,0.06431241435876266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070261614131763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052923637244424115,0.05725168380293951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945227687346331,0.0,0.07840850173370603,0.0,0.05472512778616785,0.0,0.0,0.056879104207408125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114158527297926,0.0,0.0,0.16619835107919886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147618682810849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674613248363602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300168207972846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234280993928695,0.0,0.0,0.3586267111449678,0.04247774313913725,0.058174260742709274,0.0,0.0,0.057799851137239074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03251828907162895,0.04594480166812805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118911581516475,0.16800291052719654,0.0,0.07310045432051063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846176096938854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043107255697166086,0.06794959676660044,0.06451059531558755,0.0,0.12666954678808026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276402953654837,0.05716382885901285,0.0,0.0,0.03534442101663852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085152041128863,0.09425939133049144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467611485411866,0.0,0.0,0.04292903597855593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481178723234253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047277024434928386,0.04768684034737912,0.049601698688061004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617094960926398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04458613042821489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061538294960058276,0.0,0.12930347927718874,0.0,0.06840416904210336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871772003054655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513599771826402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736223278304561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506479545720566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0427263104084813,0.04120879829961969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6652589361035169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831953885924155,0.06995343904765354,0.06282388386921185,0.0,0.0,0.05554527702745237,0.0,0.0,0.11379938479799352,0.051048201021502274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803195080263275,0.0,0.0,0.06199487244798889,0.0,0.09364040722067488,0.0,0.06553984459484995,0.0,0.07031552916936296,0.0,0.08283017256342493
mentalhealth,Lostlilkitten91,2018/03/15,"Should i? I am 27F i have battled against suicidal ideas sincei was a teenager. Over the last week i fucked up and hurt alot of people, i made some dumb mistakes & now i've got noone in the world. I'm tired, i want to keep fighting the ideas but i just can't i feel like if i finally do it, i will be happy, i will never hurt anyone again. I don't want to, but i just can't see another way forward. Should i just do it?",0.09505376344086257,1.7573288279569894,2.27010752688172,97.19182795698923,83.3010752688172,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.08081505376344023,323,9,80,3,9,109,61,93,0.263,0.655,0.08199999999999999,-0.9303,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,4,0,5,0,13,2,0,1,1,20,22,4,1,6,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,3,2,14,2,7,14,2,13,0,2,1,1,1,5,2,3,9,52,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040194496777664,0.0,0.0,0.2036223993122164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578033109255455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818697394451767,0.13872750298570796,0.0,0.21272278285280874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179523103603966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530938704362576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671607678037096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157632128778106,0.43842783062752944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726026656072038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582886324453554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487014502522677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374479409550049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976927863457531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462507873642887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547422002383762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21240947570000693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22318982705281765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290734957477885,0.15413690346906256,0.1557654029363829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DREADC0RSAIR,2018/03/15,"I self harmed I always thought it was a stupid thing people did for attention. But recently (especially after drinking) I've been doing damage to myself. It started with giving myself cigarette burns. Last night I got really drunk and started cutting myself. I don't even know why I did it other than to feel something. 

I’ve been doing some research and found out that I definitely lie on the socio/psychopathic scale. With that I realized that the reason I can't maintain relationships is because I literally have a chemical imbalance that I can't control. So these past few months I've been looking for thrills to help me cope. I don't think I'll kill myself tonight but I really don't know if I'll make it the next few months",5.385642857142859,6.823191992857147,6.305714285714287,74.78928571428571,68.35714285714286,9.314285714285717,31.142857142857146,9.642632912329526,3.0802285714285715,589,24,103,13,10,195,88,140,0.076,0.847,0.077,0.0187,0,0,3,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,5,0,15,2,0,3,0,20,27,6,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,5,2,1,9,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,9,2,17,1,11,18,3,13,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,11,69,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671223348667554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148090454594234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123698740955027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18449945661446845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243954172122251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952293092136058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650280369658305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18067089049349186,0.0,0.0,0.15063103636242406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262389350526111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083679993888599,0.0,0.20701118626231169,0.1535205386068342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581564152619983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571702134878415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30065905528791353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002995102348412,0.17674237573664542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978985163117922,0.13056979694823606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413081832208737,0.19364274520798366,0.18596097072188572,0.2022044382075723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964775212844941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449917290382354,0.0,0.0,0.2666130925253363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512334263599528,0.12067933177392764,0.0,0.1495192676962382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699456750347364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IFEELNAKED22,2018/03/15,"I FEEL NAKED I don’t know what it is but 1 out of every 4 days it feels as if people are viewing me naked. I’ve began to believe people are on some high tech goggles that can see everything I’m doing. I go to a psychiatrist and have told him but he doesn’t know what to think of it. It’s become crippling to my life and it brings almost like a physical pain to my body.  Anyone experience something similar or by some far off chance know of these goggles? Help!

",1.0460824742268071,3.152939432989694,3.1558865979381467,89.7132113402062,82.50515463917526,5.9418556701030925,21.04020618556701,7.1686216300943375,0.5856028865979379,363,11,78,5,10,123,70,97,0.043,0.86,0.097,0.6247,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,8,3,1,0,0,16,20,7,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,4,7,1,13,18,2,9,0,0,2,0,4,5,0,5,3,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234740887732291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604674968337987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464754636939959,0.0,0.25143793458391644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24789330216006236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392719915075555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803167176093194,0.0,0.2005722155701076,0.21830461724659175,0.0,0.0,0.2256845011645262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126833545361849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958719810192134,0.2357930150756349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679477727988049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576326787895897,0.10903035553129012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374702836354419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309438131335368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783884596358468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180837659747047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299932981334687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132499974965744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endofthegame,2018/03/15,"At what stage should I be concerned about my paranoia? A bit of background, ill keep it brief I promise! I have a history of PTSD, severe depression and anxiety. I have been in and out of therapy and had great success with a mix of  propranolol and sertraline. At present I'm being treated treated for mild depression and anxiety and awaiting conflict/trauma therapy. I was put on Fluoxetine in Dec and had my dose increased to 40mg about 5 weeks ago and I still use propranolol. I am being managed by my GP at present. I've felt no difference with my dose increase and the best days I have, are days were I feel flat and emotionless. On my bad days I just lie in bed , awake, for as long as I can get away with, don't eat or do anything. I work full time and have great family and friend support. I would say that I have high functioning depression and I have a good insight into my mental health. 

Okay, now to the point. I have always had a bit of paranoia, just like anyone which has been fine. I'm not sure when it started but I've just noticed it increasing in intensity where I feel like I am being constantly monitored. Maybe in the last two weeks It has started to interfere with my life. It's not like I feel that the government or anything is watching me or anybody in particular but just that I'm overall being watched and listened too. I don't know if I should mention it to my Dr or what it could be or even if it is just a normal part of depression.

Some examples. I could be sitting watching TV with my child and maybe just rubbing his head or something and I think that they may not be able to see me giving him attention, I should talk out loud to him so they know I'm being a good mother. 
Lying in bed at night I have to position myself properly so they know I'm going to go to sleep. 
If I walk past fluff or something on the floor that I have to go back and pick it up cause they will think I'm messy and lazy. 

Any advice or anyone experience anything similar?  It's probably just nothing but it's hard to shake and convince myself that it's not real",3.4622687947494057,4.841496410501193,4.6960374403341305,84.71572680489263,72.96181384248209,8.196927207637232,28.845539976133647,8.751876143730069,2.1822702267303105,1632,66,334,31,32,539,203,419,0.096,0.799,0.105,0.3538,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,4,3,18,24,0,1,12,1,44,9,2,3,1,79,71,38,0,10,25,1,6,3,1,6,6,3,2,1,21,27,1,2,11,1,0,10,7,6,0,1,8,13,47,18,48,46,9,56,0,4,4,0,15,24,0,13,23,231,68,4,0.0929404708482235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082035246029686,0.08238611969982691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733391705160944,0.0,0.0,0.0632027072413382,0.0,0.14219841161927105,0.0,0.0,0.12997227638132186,0.0,0.2294462654002587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732063177512095,0.07146548520939125,0.0776014110322058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753529018382792,0.0,0.2029338455907047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954754651920872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043563127976368,0.0,0.1484108066747275,0.0,0.0,0.17981674477136456,0.0,0.32019796541827555,0.0,0.0,0.0971030106655349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510130429171623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138630445279504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091361436769067,0.08761600442562227,0.0,0.14098048382865824,0.06639669094435502,0.08923742702641893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180557722853134,0.0,0.048557560041725116,0.08915696846508209,0.15846063419110984,0.1559081148334345,0.0,0.20493439443770325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325640651110022,0.0,0.0953837364167662,0.09879137441931063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819671023708512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826097608465859,0.0,0.0,0.15323295652466767,0.07575888834070357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564660313636381,0.1362180583557768,0.0,0.0,0.08224939203462114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867423900307556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366213478297232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721833593089758,0.09106192830084148,0.08917888839723069,0.1058133420659956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006454729458589,0.08872219585811056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785878596657568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020554700295912,0.0,0.10864243684586923,0.09343084353276213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578660308380376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739099927758588,0.0,0.0,0.07406152222270919,0.0,0.0,0.1049962776052354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300759134475584,0.0,0.0,0.14310023023908588,0.0,0.0,0.1315674872567016,0.0,0.07422238007549176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054677449241552,0.0875952938691579,0.0,0.0,0.07470202994533752,0.0,0.0,0.21257105651458852,0.0,0.0,0.11910500189561884,0.0,0.0,0.054194335959067134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078933524011147,0.0,0.0,0.08027072613894258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910247926332873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766176969317213,0.0,0.0,0.0660222438981988,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TastyZone,2018/03/16,"Is it normal to feel so high at the top and very low the next few days? Hello guys, i am from malaysia . I noticed that my emotions are unstable almost everymonth , where i be feeling good about myself , very confident about myself, being happy and all that and the next few days will followed by sad days , where i feel very insecure about myself, where i feel i am worthless or some shit ",10.252522522522526,7.154775243243248,9.17864864864865,73.19022522522525,60.08108108108107,12.02882882882883,38.18018018018018,9.725611199111238,3.529131531531532,304,10,57,4,3,95,49,74,0.2,0.648,0.152,-0.6361,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,1,1,3,0,7,1,1,0,1,12,12,5,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,4,10,2,7,9,4,13,0,3,0,0,2,7,1,3,5,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892499941969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656561047446079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125925911680981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822437828938435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851903570091547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871335791174557,0.0,0.201187418246927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996823299725616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40199410841158817,0.0,0.1851738003340888,0.0,0.2151706980295765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399942347107854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4678190429818746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yourfriendchainsaw,2018/03/16,"memory issues so uh. idk why i experience this so i thought i would ask for advice here

for most years of my life i can remember most of what happened. as in if you said “hey remember (x thing that happened during 2008-2013 or 2015-now) i’d be like “yeah that was crazy lmao”. but for the life of me i cant remember SHIT from around 2014. 

what i do know is that during that year i was severely homicidal, dissociated a lot, and had an abusive relationship during some months. but when people ask me “hey remember (completely memorable thing from 2014)” i’m like “wtf no”. when i look back on posts i made from 2014, i dont remember a lot of it. 
THAWTS?

(it may be relevant to mention i have depression/anxiety/panic disorder/aspergers/bipolar)",1.3303070175438627,3.978051972222225,3.426900584795323,83.99236842105266,88.30555555555556,8.031578947368423,24.24561403508772,8.6894789155246,2.383866666666667,580,24,114,18,19,196,95,144,0.14300000000000002,0.762,0.094,-0.8438,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,0,7,3,1,0,4,1,13,3,1,1,0,22,23,10,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,6,2,15,2,15,13,5,10,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,8,8,75,26,0,0.0,0.14528701375618194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982479514711887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915957365757847,0.2292700266884785,0.0,0.0,0.09428874578578983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856682964203195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371206586662028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994784123365965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686845188641865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798550544723614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738984206351192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732230840297114,0.11981382656825898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297159335468904,0.0,0.0,0.20849767169369948,0.0,0.11602789732599612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787570718590663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501065235631088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743797615053855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165013351580693,0.6945340877044791,0.0,0.11664159818463518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852795231946882,0.1258697165895394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292921075315905,0.0,0.0,0.09734816767567016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064727860122277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710714763756525,0.0,0.0,0.15792908998325192
mentalhealth,Krychex,2018/03/16,"*title... yes that. where do i even start? well if you are reading this i appreciate it, if you last the whole post then hats off to you.
I am a horrible person, toxic and self absorbed. I have depression, anxiety and.. i don't like this bit.. bpd. 
I always think im under attack or people are against me, i feel like as soon as something is not going well with someone then they must hate me, i mean in my head i do not see why they wouldnt. 
I cause arguments between me and my girlfriend because i get so defensive and again, feel like im under attack if theres even a hint of criticism. I dont let things go, i drag things out when they dont need to still be talked about. i create tension because i go silent, i go silent because in my head theres so many things rushing round. i almost become paralysed and freeze instead of just sorting things out. I think its pushing my gf away and i know its at least a huge drain on us. we are long distance too so it only adds to the stress. my thoughts become so irrational and when ive calmed down and thinking properly i can see how ridiculous i am being. im paranoid, i feel like people stare, i feel like they judge(i know everyone does to some degree but i mean like, really judge) and i feel like i dont deserve anything less. i dont blame people for thinking what they do, im sure i would if i saw me.. im a drain on everyone i know, burden is a good word but an understatement.
i havent properly self harmed in about 4-5months and its getting really really really really hard to not give in to urges. i find myself  fantasising about it often throughout the day and its often extreme. most of the day, everyday the urges are eating away at me. i have a hard time trying to fight it. soon i will be starting an 18month MBT course through the personality disorder service in my area, before i begun i was told i need to work on reducing my selfharm. i was self harming a lot and for ties it would be daily but i have, like i said, stopped anything i would consider self harm, im scared im going to ruin my chances on this course if i cant keep urges at bay. 
I am in recovery from an eating disorder too. this is becoming/has become an increasing issue too. i want to go with those thoughts, i want to go with the unhealthy ED behaviors so desperately but i know this cant happen. i mean it can, i know it can but for my own sake, for my gf's sake i cant let it takeover. im being torn in two completely different directions. one is safe and one is selfish. i feel torn, i cry about it and i feel so much hatred for my body, for what i put in it, for what i see all this eating is doing to me. this isnt about being thin, this is about so much more, i dont know if i want to go into that right now. i dont even know if explining would be of any use... 
I hate me. I hate how i look. I hate my face. I hate that my scars have faded so much. I hate how my head works. I FUCKING HATE ME.
i dont feel like me. or i do but i feel like in my head is not the person i am. i feel like im sat way way back watching from the back of the room while my body is what is seen. i stare at myself in the mirror and i dont feel like that thing looking back, i mean its me but i dont really feel like it is. the person looking back is an imposter? maybe they are but no one knows and or would ever believe that. then i remember, ive never fitted in, its not about to suddenly feel like i do and that the face people see is what i deserve to have to deal with.. but  hate hate hate it. 

this post is more of a venting/ranting post i guess and it probably doesnt make too much sense. I not sure what i hope to gain by this. 
if you made it to the end, give yourself a pat on the back and thank you for reading.",0.6073246407157136,2.4759078521303266,2.737212969131693,93.42958361092607,82.6340852130326,5.945268233875829,20.752894895466515,7.091179526866566,0.3836810190032045,2878,85,667,38,79,973,290,798,0.218,0.722,0.06,-0.9992,1,0,1,1,1,0,95.0,2,5,6,3,48,49,16,3,29,1,74,12,8,7,6,126,155,58,0,21,27,0,18,14,3,8,0,1,1,8,48,28,3,4,33,2,0,12,25,26,2,4,10,31,122,23,80,128,16,84,0,2,13,1,31,36,1,20,45,460,170,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03526974003656022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029307521291126463,0.0,0.0,0.023952164312279624,0.0,0.026944729654098252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796940130766413,0.0,0.0,0.08014020791033973,0.06618444719917912,0.135417699581747,0.0,0.0644130034271137,0.11669977818367,0.029971323395613723,0.03968312674094107,0.0,0.0,0.038453295960494564,0.07824739209798938,0.044360869510324925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03618269105688687,0.0,0.0,0.0369295914746725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03868970744625009,0.045430545671794116,0.03631233009867283,0.030336652553784576,0.0,0.0,0.03679948799972777,0.08073491517931627,0.0,0.03082300505085636,0.0,0.37151924080971455,0.0,0.0,0.10812268173937137,0.0,0.0,0.03119623299595213,0.0,0.0,0.06979138623742143,0.03186031083989889,0.0,0.067312250970926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315208856889027,0.27678860175086456,0.0,0.0,0.03219226519348332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032562166679992344,0.03680407715073561,0.06757629384785713,0.1601397709196456,0.029542538184707007,0.0,0.0,0.03880099829107645,0.0,0.031146693724225568,0.0,0.06310397816312265,0.3477442788314567,0.14459171305113105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03498338825074477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34241218707269605,0.03676261166278847,0.0,0.031306927376385824,0.0,0.0,0.15485669788248896,0.028710626820512706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720337521964116,0.0,0.2409076257345592,0.0,0.0,0.03117035707150567,0.08873281436602129,0.0,0.0,0.029944480471778938,0.0,0.03332790316012775,0.02351095506624735,0.03570957446811945,0.03538522798560552,0.1534683122969699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356887564032084,0.052233325771330594,0.027165373796119687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160200579008158,0.026787914247983158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767398546748043,0.1230179493125232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119880442553572,0.0,0.03797526769940175,0.0,0.0,0.03540783320540912,0.0,0.0,0.0704630528458512,0.0,0.13538467087325595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03989965404852057,0.0300793911529574,0.0335041828588673,0.0,0.03526336137243149,0.0,0.11226947875648116,0.0,0.14697688904453424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029843481937473142,0.027115612427198444,0.0,0.0,0.04986061848415765,0.0,0.0281283305860334,0.029447164831879737,0.040346676099006135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639262662357014,0.0,0.0,0.028310105275700412,0.0,0.03242768063445831,0.0,0.0,0.11699964153191444,0.09027532839455107,0.0,0.05592465915322075,0.0205382284453386,0.0,0.0,0.033656125485463,0.0,0.023913422471296474,0.0,0.034406771013306775,0.0,0.04236772303579008,0.030420494720334118,0.0,0.0,0.06232453540043874,0.055915160127463684,0.0,0.0,0.06333760672497872,0.0,0.03178237192209299,0.03932409940107694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128406348677688,0.0,0.0,0.12510347286838594,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,knopke,2018/03/16,"Can't figure out why I make some of the choices that I do make. I guess some background is required so: I am a 18yo male, about to finish (hopefully) the 12th grade, living with parents a good life not missing on anything essential, having plenty of opportunities in all kinds of things. Basically a really good life in the eyes of many I suppose...

PS I have a different outlook on life from others and therefore spend a lot less time with friends as I do not drink, smoke or don't understand and can't enjoy some of the things that most people enjoy (like dancing).

The problem is that I make some choices in life that I know are bad for me and that I will clearly regret a lot of them in the future, as already I regret a lot of past decisions... Yet I keep making such decisions.
It sometimes seems that all my problems are self created in my mind, as if because I don't have too many in life I so to speak - create my own problems... 
The most recent example is very cliche, but it shows the problem perfectly...
So there is a girl I like and it is quite clear, atleast from my pov, that she likes me too.
And from that I conclude in my head that the right thing to do would be to ask her out or atleast spend more time with her. If she says no, I would be happy knowing the answer and ending constant distractions which are mainly me thinking of her. If she agrees I'm happy because I get to spend time with her. Yet I constantly don't do anything although the outcome of an action would always be positive.
 
PSS In this example fear might explain some parts yet I make similar decisions in places where fear doesn't exist for me like working in an incredibly well paying job, or just studying, I can do it, it would be good for me, I chose not to do it and end up miserably feeling about myself.

So I wonder if there is a scientific explanation for this behavior, or any tips how to stop such self destructive behavior, or maybe what is the root of such or maybe similar problems and how are those usually solved?

I will gladly answer any questions and thanks for any advice!",5.921544117647059,5.992583164215688,6.3684313725490185,79.68294117647059,66.62254901960785,9.447058823529412,32.196078431372555,9.188382445141503,2.6621549019607835,1633,62,319,27,24,530,194,408,0.106,0.7490000000000001,0.145,0.9441,3,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,6,21,33,1,4,23,0,39,8,2,10,5,88,60,30,0,16,15,1,1,4,1,7,5,2,0,4,24,15,1,3,16,3,4,2,10,14,1,0,0,4,43,19,49,49,17,36,0,4,1,0,19,18,0,26,20,239,67,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862160153556894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878624633429302,0.0,0.0669466286675596,0.0,0.0,0.16414045740033895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241843091657002,0.0,0.07521638847877564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717819356007425,0.09809162135006516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389076277595172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406038961131808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881718189145419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252195574376425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810728769201992,0.04068145198590089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216084091240555,0.0,0.04203543626203075,0.0,0.0,0.20245042022857085,0.0,0.0,0.08863240253995112,0.0,0.0,0.17129584127944322,0.0,0.0,0.08257204375870593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991190655433485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984110935140629,0.0715138349971527,0.0,0.08378353362204785,0.08843407249321306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28414562012447153,0.1572288092683281,0.0,0.071044961946286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20520486821867176,0.0,0.0,0.26852819841101666,0.16314144059105948,0.16165964325249962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535211071303718,0.08123858500997606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933792286560491,0.08712703767327283,0.07680526381095562,0.055778719484815685,0.0,0.08406038961131808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849321817327719,0.0,0.0,0.09013019877849993,0.08557587123947592,0.0,0.0,0.051542783154529,0.0,0.07944153290773898,0.0,0.0,0.06870979671259388,0.0,0.06398259689710695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324498661763723,0.16786829421423494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957398201236418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726561382416044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407395092953807,0.0,0.0,0.16035606992624524,0.051553565617487584,0.0,0.0,0.14074528578121984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375852366245484,0.0,0.0,0.08861196487062105,0.06638541087078162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234046161714992,0.0,0.07259988417672324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725213150896853,0.05857361870879736,0.0,0.0,0.22861723882948104,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Leborian,2018/03/16,"I don't know how to help my girlfriend Hey everyone. I hope you're well. My girlfriend and I suspect that she might have some kind of personality disorder and I'm pretty sure I need some help too. To keep things brief, she experienced a terrible childhood and us difficulty controlling her emotions. 

The trouble is that little things can sometimes set her off in different ways, extreme sadness or anger sometimes apathy. Sometimes she'll feel so terrible, just because and it can colour her entire day. Today she said she just felt miserable and everything was horrible. She has also said before, after losing her temper that she feels like it would be better if she wasn't around.

I've found a therapist and we're going to see them. I don't really know what to do to help her, she says that I'm the only thing or person that makes her feel better and I feel like I can't always do that, I can't always be helpful and strong, I feel like I'm cracking. I want her to be happy and for things to get better, I just needed to vent a little.

If any of you wonderful people could give any kind of insight or experiences I would appreciate it greatly. 

Thanks for your time and greetings from South Africa!",4.144616606170601,6.081173538793106,5.041070780399277,80.66890199637025,72.23275862068967,7.987658802177857,26.43466424682396,8.6894789155246,2.0320741379310348,959,33,176,18,19,312,129,232,0.14800000000000002,0.642,0.21,0.9366,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,2,1,6,9,23,2,1,5,0,21,0,0,3,1,46,47,18,0,9,8,0,6,3,2,4,0,3,0,2,14,11,0,2,12,0,0,2,5,8,1,0,6,12,34,15,18,33,2,15,0,3,2,0,33,6,0,10,8,116,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895972741330914,0.16431373820736392,0.0,0.0,0.13428872463190172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789662321916021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060188994246773375,0.0,0.08401768503783674,0.0,0.0,0.2619738421372968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074163859669646,0.07883324472889662,0.0,0.0,0.0636770226487307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315886794532614,0.11316084687947026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106553179702892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434717690995828,0.0887382064607959,0.0965834681613808,0.0,0.0,0.2496212873056104,0.2116126192027464,0.09480274491289707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825972826356282,0.0,0.0,0.05158586628529201,0.09471726853016567,0.0561143591223902,0.0,0.0,0.1088575935409075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510708522668094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26472459570394435,0.0,0.0,0.0980678516197114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776174241930737,0.0,0.20563822082846764,0.1085262493830561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471333687164314,0.1979202853223248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046114513934813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590753406583942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474406743310592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642406860741525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509373251222566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845161655923078,0.17242620859465874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045075103864336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325327762050642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18784248167689285,0.07851941080248101,0.0,0.0,0.0786803904270089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929594523741769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305819964743643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090351540673723,0.0,0.1146409538151137,0.2623851847184514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757418135924334,0.0,0.09359087518153804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876812921488347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582374816118386,0.0783726205616429,0.0,0.0,0.08877617819252563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707577200034796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027948038002036,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idontknowwhereis,2018/03/16,"Feel extremely alone My kid has depression/anxiety/is transgender ftm. We don’t have family that’s close and we live in a small town. He’s being hospitalized at a hospital with horrible reviews, with the threat of if he doesn’t go I would lose custody to children services. He’s been hospitalized several times for suicidal thoughts & attempts. I’m a single mom but very supportive. I have no friends and no one to relate to on any level, especially locally where they’re very conservative. I’m trying to move us away but it’s been hard to work with a constant worry that he’ll hurt himself. Is anyone anywhere near the same boat? ",3.1537635092180563,5.900428000000002,4.618512396694213,78.52818817546091,78.91735537190083,8.681754609027339,29.142403051493964,9.265573868473778,3.193312269548633,512,24,91,15,13,170,90,121,0.21600000000000005,0.725,0.059,-0.9497,0,1,0,0,1,0,14.0,3,0,0,3,1,5,1,0,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,16,17,5,1,2,3,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,3,2,7,2,15,11,2,15,0,2,0,0,12,11,0,1,2,52,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437544013898493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138080937748396,0.0,0.13419187044172168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797844771568918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539900294638412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324474549741154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860261376084604,0.0,0.09977650033516708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245746799500706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214777457917972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676984742630653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124695406385552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424691901120598,0.0,0.0,0.22076295263083104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23111172302112104,0.0,0.20973166090989676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371661615597807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292790129169265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21584812396143466,0.22392891982617424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665879955029827,0.11506531329306224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397481948807488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373649381494405,0.0,0.0,0.3256375397954993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436593435444668,0.2003992445280292,0.0,0.1401783054265138,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EET_Learner,2018/03/16,"Discrimination at work for mental health? Recently I have been going through things at work where it seems like I am having an uphill battle getting back to normal after being out from work due to mental health reason. I was on leave a little bit then when i was back I found I still had trouble working so I decided I might benefit from dropping down to part time hours. The switch was easy and approved almost immediately. It didnt help and i went back out on medical leave for a couple months. When i came I was better, as good as can be. After working for a bit a pursued the idea of going back up to my full time since I couldnt afford to be on part time in the first place. My work(people who can or wont approve the change) say i have to consistently have high performance stance for awhile before they will even ""consider"" giving my hours back. My stats were never an issue before and i was never pushed to exceed stats, but now its being dangled like an unobtainable goal for me to keep my livelihood. What are people's opinions on this? Am i being discriminated against because of being out on medical leave?",6.306442307692307,6.672865449074077,6.6779629629629635,76.77871794871797,65.80555555555556,8.868376068376067,29.115384615384606,8.617729084823388,2.1317034188034185,891,27,163,12,13,289,128,216,0.043,0.8640000000000001,0.094,0.8896,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,11,13,7,1,0,11,0,28,4,0,1,2,22,37,11,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,4,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,5,0,0,5,5,2,0,1,12,1,22,5,36,15,5,47,0,0,0,0,5,18,0,5,25,128,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096285625793046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36968738454458017,0.0,0.05861536771332674,0.0,0.1636421264234458,0.0,0.0,0.08504153336955426,0.20995332891727905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997602708742253,0.0,0.0,0.10171953911897964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639399115158653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350965721010436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178963414898162,0.0,0.10542930414647604,0.0,0.0,0.0502371664282294,0.09224090871056877,0.10929452585537756,0.0806504888802943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044171376861509,0.0,0.0,0.06445085897402368,0.10159333522207599,0.0,0.0,0.1893871684547704,0.0,0.0,0.10854760984868037,0.0,0.1003611329731689,0.0,0.08546723312868346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054436812304672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395322804892596,0.09637285393514056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19373266208173973,0.19380381753416734,0.10200555940856462,0.0,0.0,0.07675022909353868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832176325371602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421176112213772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082536013046895,0.0,0.1333239315726247,0.0,0.10046180457368184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886364501998716,0.09494174118051467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646654001147249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875361578218556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954064330137832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767897327902744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388129705966003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820675540761626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913691018927583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200131450571528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throw16277,2018/03/16,"Something's wrong with me, but I don't know what to do. I don't really know what to write here, but I felt like I should try to do something, sorry. This is going to be barely coherent, it's just verbal diarrhea, sorry about that too. I also don't know if this is the right sub.

My moods are extremely changeable, and they often change to quite unpleasant things. I'm ridiculously sensitive to rejection, and any minor form can ruin my day. I can hardly bear to be in public sometimes, because I have no self esteem, and hate being looked at (however, my self esteem is also incredibly changeable). I often have a vague but very strong feeling that everything is totally fucked. A lot of the time, I also have a weird sort of flatness. I'm not necessarily actively miserable at such times (though I'm certainly unhappy), just nothing makes me happy, or elicits any real amount of emotion. When that happens, I have very little energy, don't want to talk to my friends, don't want to do work, nothing. I just sort of vegetate. 

I also occasionally enter this weird state of extreme self-loathing. It happens less often now, but I used to sit for protracted periods of time fantasising about suicide. Not as a release from suffering, but just as some sort of punishment. I'd try to imagine dying, what my own corpse would look like and so on. I once came somewhat close to pretty serious self mutilation. I'm not sure I could have gone through with it, but I was possessed by this very strong urge to stab my eye out with a pen. I suppose I felt I deserved it, for being so useless.

I sometimes fantasized about suicide to get away too, but it was always sort of in the abstract. I would think ""this is probably the best option available"", but I was never quite ready to actually try. I came a little closer than in the past today, since I actually sat for a while and though about how I might do it. I wasn't sure I was going to, but the fact that there is a pack of razor blades in my house, and that I would be alone for a few hours weighed heavily on my mind. I probably wouldn't have done it even if my mood hadn't improved, but it's still a little concerning.

I avoid people, even when I don't really want to. My best friend will sometimes follow me out of the canteen at school, and I'll just walk away and hide in the bathroom, even though I know it's the wrong thing to do. From there, when left alone, I will generally enter the 'flat' moods I mentioned before. Sometimes it will be the other kind I mentioned though.

I spent a lot of today (before I entered the weird mood) with just a weird sort of anxious discomfort. I spent the whole morning muttering ""it's okay"" to myself, like you would to a scared cat. When my self esteem is low, I'll also spend a lot of time just willing people not to notice me. I could spend all of my time out in public just thinking as I look at each person around me ""don't notice me, don't notice me"".

I'm seeing a therapist for the emotional abuse I got as a kid, but I don't really feel comfortable telling her about the vast majority of this stuff. I don't want to be sectioned or anything. Although she seems to think that I have some genuine issues, though I haven't talked to her about my current problems really, only social anxiety-type problems and my dad's treatment of me.

The worst part, for me, is the lack of consistency. I felt horrific today, and spent some time imagining my own slit wrists. However, by the evening, I feel perfectly normal. Yesterday I spent most of the day in a similar mood, but by midnight I felt strangely joyful. I feel like a total hypochondriac because of this. I often wonder if I make myself feel worse intentionally because of some weird victim complex or something. Also, I feel perfectly normal the vast majority of the time. If I'm not left alone by others for too long (which is a sort of rejection, which is a contributing factor for this stuff), I'll feel perfectly normal the vast majority of the time. As such, I never know what's wrong with me, other than the fact that I'm probably exaggerating my own problems. For example, when in one of my bad moods, I'll listen to music, but will actively avoid happier music, which could make me feel a little better. I think that at those times, I feel like being in a state of  misery is the only truthful way to exist. That if I feel okay, it's only because I'm intentionally avoiding the hard truth that I'm going nowhere and am a useless person. Basically, it feels like I'm finally seeing the truth, so I don't want to go back to feeling alright. Other times, I feel perfectly normal. Not hopeful- I never have, but I feel fine.

I just don't know what, if anything, is really wrong with me. I haven't really gone into much detail about some of my problems, because I can't make this post infinitely long. I just don't know if I'm somehow making things up, or if I really do have serious issues- or what those might be, *or* how I should be dealing with them. I've read over this mess too much now, so I'm just sending it out as is, sorry.",5.974921818370095,5.941962612612617,6.8016880673777225,76.97592342342345,66.51751751751752,9.852618135376757,31.3382520451486,9.581879112588783,2.7582091954022987,3986,141,767,74,58,1327,350,999,0.206,0.674,0.12,-0.9984,4,6,3,0,1,2,141.0,0,1,2,12,63,74,5,6,50,3,82,5,2,11,18,192,163,69,3,33,45,1,20,6,2,14,0,1,0,7,54,28,2,3,34,1,6,14,29,36,0,2,21,27,105,32,119,115,33,96,0,8,6,1,28,40,1,41,43,547,159,5,0.0,0.04870541222313352,0.08022956305015554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772425355498673,0.0,0.19724089149165647,0.03420455514693633,0.0,0.0,0.05590872847755314,0.0,0.0,0.04643953267199166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765558793480173,0.03659419996074937,0.0,0.0,0.07724329709108628,0.031608965679520214,0.034322866916979944,0.12529310058993767,0.0,0.06995854570767282,0.0,0.08627912147884015,0.036356054087745886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403156859298048,0.0,0.0,0.04348605815842653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846246927953928,0.0,0.0,0.05302159774449367,0.04237980704802453,0.0,0.0,0.042662873062738416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04206702591830088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248032815079686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860389934838056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03694457821534105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909911064747689,0.08810116040538833,0.15787776490663766,0.04503102271394747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351877468024311,0.03800302368957936,0.021476860394119827,0.0,0.0934488722404718,0.0,0.03287725198898895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270207483957855,0.04375947053718268,0.07364810826649858,0.0405849346458497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0408288104873468,0.04048239646588797,0.047432289094502984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581065355028675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04280691280828011,0.15814042609509454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932637344959936,0.0,0.0,0.12049766174211375,0.1648012001397321,0.0,0.07275730941632512,0.10355930179753467,0.0,0.0,0.10484383412732677,0.0,0.0,0.13719716367895027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721666903612628,0.04150664068285328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060437170430686124,0.0,0.0951134198828864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611056502555716,0.07888709953977628,0.14040275335707933,0.0,0.043777918196709495,0.02785536098793891,0.09379183054050663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451518506903918,0.03924155605567986,0.056997232709595023,0.0717865934400467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03936941706752592,0.041820888392379914,0.13296182150728014,0.15733648489802665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744531771996929,0.04111841040642932,0.04678909121559525,0.1843406610231556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03510539780070411,0.0,0.0,0.04115556470123157,0.041602768238544516,0.06551436983185856,0.037422529466574726,0.2144193233159503,0.0,0.0,0.034004371928155995,0.0,0.0,0.04190370150908961,0.0,0.09493919169034706,0.1626246286138756,0.13804872416314876,0.0,0.0,0.03282833185256573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411601571324356,0.08992939822081111,0.0,0.0774862615005055,0.0,0.0,0.06608095904797336,0.035929580007901286,0.0,0.0,0.04772872761153823,0.08192956308785808,0.10535955660686053,0.20193849984774695,0.0,0.2396998915400119,0.0,0.11689470228071842,0.0,0.0,0.08372744691163282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035503496830139473,0.0,0.10175344863252167,0.1212307122425111,0.032629050391727886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04589481700641095,0.0,0.0,0.04457909835469307,0.029926593932451614,0.0,0.0418918365223214,0.11680574673766242,0.1797774572797776,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gabapentine,2018/03/16,"Now I'm not looking for absolution Forgiveness for the things I do.
But before you come to any conclusions,
Try walking in my shoes.",4.790399999999998,6.762781840000002,5.805,75.70750000000002,70.6,9.8,32.5,10.125756701596842,3.6458,106,5,19,3,2,35,23,25,0.0,0.913,0.087,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,4,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.361636010433978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525148407845376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4580907249232924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465703747901055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532982074953057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610510760360944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueschool333,2018/03/16,"I don't get disturbed watching People die. What about you? Hi Reddit I've watched many People die (Live Leak etc). Recently there was a Dude on 4chan, that streamed his Suicide (Shotgun to Head) and his Head completely exploded and you could hear his Mother scream when she found him. I don't get disturbed by these types of Videos how do you feel about watching someone die.",3.0634285714285703,5.933156128571433,2.488214285714289,92.80803571428574,80.57142857142857,5.214285714285714,25.892857142857146,6.6274283507984215,1.024714285714285,299,12,56,3,8,87,52,70,0.261,0.6859999999999999,0.053,-0.958,0,0,0,1,0,1,10.0,0,3,0,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,5,2,2,1,0,6,10,4,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,6,10,0,6,7,1,3,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,0,2,31,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20056880478039302,0.0,0.0,0.15273321512253896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5956009467590878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133441052367672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967243246280788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974471395727592,0.0,0.0,0.19988712223451088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926470062321761,0.0,0.21560297749406876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689166838210113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394275388069865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652392531445375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888039248410787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208333923188406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20924530267423155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,klaatu_1981,2018/03/16,"Why can't I keep the sentence 'I Want to die' out of my head? It's been happening for a while now: my brain keeps telling myself (which is stupid because I AM my brain) ""I want to die"". It's like a voice, but not a voice I hear. It's rather...an idea that pops up? I keep thinking 'I want to die' and the sentence goes through my head hundreds of times a day, it's hard to keep track of it. I don't think I'm suicidal, but I don't know if I wouldn't commit suicide because of me, or because of all the people around me who love me. I think it's the second one and that scares me a bit (a LOT).

But anyway, wanted to ask if you guys suffer with these thoughts popping up everyday (because for me it's every single day), and what they might mean. I am already diagnosed with anxiety and depression for more than 15 years now, but I honestly thought that with medication and therapy I would get better. Instead, I think about dying and not existing every single day.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.",3.5931387362637395,4.172380168269232,4.670631868131867,88.03865384615385,71.83653846153845,7.865934065934066,27.357142857142854,7.957251820313856,1.456614285714286,777,26,172,10,14,255,112,208,0.141,0.7120000000000001,0.147,0.4946,0,0,0,0,0,5,31.0,0,2,1,1,6,9,1,1,11,0,10,7,4,0,2,43,34,14,6,8,9,0,1,1,0,3,2,3,0,1,15,11,0,4,9,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,3,4,28,5,25,28,6,14,0,2,0,1,9,4,0,5,11,116,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115166572042356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705374171089183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966589789667448,0.09416353561577742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456021637681417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908237472753433,0.10996474534758467,0.0,0.0,0.22488305024241328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19487634002556395,0.0,0.08675361082707486,0.10223294861688888,0.4181432931038672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972897510162865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05262424027047497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973279953787463,0.08907008250534443,0.0,0.09022910410926033,0.0,0.20674418808434128,0.0,0.11352350030199974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370536810875735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581132083030229,0.0,0.0,0.055355389319261684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920875915739489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856321178040974,0.09090752823249433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971818838362876,0.0,0.1014690405776886,0.0,0.10685246499540096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825332858481742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982948191261518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007514631589434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008425014439103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203518657991042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573206744823532,0.0,0.08803739543190989,0.09273331593849543,0.11518690748629094,0.0,0.0,0.2581600159392088,0.0,0.15992753673839552,0.11746618876064385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23763898492192695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088792904893636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155158585211477,0.0,0.0,0.06486308613559638
mentalhealth,TastyWalrusMeat,2018/03/16,"What should I do about my friend? I’m 100% certain that my friend has PTSD (I know I’m not a doctor or anything) but I went through all of the symptoms and asked him about it. 

He was raped some time ago now and he’s completely fallen apart because of it inside but hides it really well. I’m one of a small group of people that know about it, I talk to him about it regularly and always tell him to tell a professional or otherwise get help. 

I absolutely don’t want to break his trust, but is there anything I can do to help him?

I was hoping that someone might have had a similar experience, god awful as that sounds.

I live in the UK btw.",2.8913533834586502,4.035082082706769,4.324819548872181,87.74452255639099,74.03759398496241,7.726015037593986,23.82631578947369,8.238735603445708,1.124248721804511,499,14,112,8,10,166,83,133,0.109,0.695,0.196,0.8698,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,6,1,12,3,0,0,2,18,22,9,0,3,6,0,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,4,1,15,6,15,16,2,9,0,0,0,1,16,3,0,5,3,73,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852928306795958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581944828210203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312903959642833,0.0,0.17773587575487107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589495705306715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19933646268120925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19459515354420168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597315065120185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937713900034744,0.0,0.09932948427693128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25486591057005337,0.0,0.0,0.18883135686159608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089691839642928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787881982738048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168652672534312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288297540006017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180478026961476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223928082910893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179528807606407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108746092104487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760674193586655,0.0,0.1528106869977447,0.3323452857614793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086008928206524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121372854746555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094007779519846,0.17624249034405512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xglitzz,2018/03/16,"I suffer from obsessive thoughts. There it is, there's not much more to it. I'm 18 and a female, and I can't stop thinking about the same thing over and over and over again once it's got a hold on me.

It can range from something as small as, ""does my hair look ok today?"" to something as large as, ""We're all going to die someday."" What should I do? Any advice?",0.8914285714285732,2.508911129870132,2.185714285714287,98.98428571428572,80.55844155844156,4.919480519480519,18.79220779220779,5.288315135182226,-0.6191766233766236,275,6,67,1,7,88,56,77,0.13,0.8170000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.7752,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,1,5,1,1,0,1,12,11,8,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,5,1,14,8,4,9,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814693660586322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587708546039528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29894005678383984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520657555525165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369977669384436,0.0,0.23037191053757206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24188106533381776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174255111505413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30675321215140433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434945471704478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408143475946073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136098503994656,0.18456440913190467,0.0,0.2286715951318624,0.0,0.0,0.2730282517240063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alternativeaccountye,2018/03/16,"Learning some basic therapy techniques to help those I care about Hi all,

I'm wanting to learn some therapy techniques so that I can better help people in my life that I care about. I know the worth of seeing a qualified therapist and I am not trying to replace that, but becoming a more rounded and helpful person won't hurt. 

For example, someone I care about beats themselves up for hours and gets upset after making a mistake at work. I want to be able to help them calm down after making a mistake, and perhaps even help them in the long run to make it less of an issue. The advice I read online is stuff like ""focus on the positives"". But in reality, that doesn't really allow me to help my friend. Actionable directives are great, not fluffy advice.

I am wondering what resources/topics would be best researched. Perhaps even some books that help give people a firm understanding of some of the basic concepts?

TIA!
",7.203468208092487,7.43583087861272,7.322317919075147,73.37839017341044,63.913294797687854,9.925780346820812,33.4849710982659,9.642632912329526,3.22698196531792,734,28,124,13,10,237,108,173,0.057,0.624,0.319,0.9951,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,4,6,13,0,1,11,0,10,1,0,4,1,27,25,7,0,5,4,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,5,2,1,2,4,4,0,0,0,2,14,9,25,21,8,13,0,1,2,0,13,7,0,5,5,88,23,7,0.11820699484027945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310210145631487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055033874916736,0.0,0.0,0.12405094829283705,0.10454448094668242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615597279686866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561492105105698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132643098847107,0.0,0.06175827599025417,0.11339492058887453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032362911875872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5546215986144931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641007893182145,0.0,0.12654303279173731,0.0,0.0,0.12337739147183853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496347298423574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834930962518397,0.0577499668130204,0.0,0.0,0.1046094706764488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23671226084473315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638996931471264,0.10321378843819286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823898333184985,0.0,0.07572642775777495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419567057648884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015640313197167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531872831638347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703600008832213,0.13724743181289578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025479018562244,0.0,0.0,0.12305765042230635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944309638885505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819044353147646,0.08605610008223723,0.0,0.0,0.08397085761016702,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IGetYounger,2018/03/16,"Does anyone ever feel like people really dont understand you and make no effort to? Do you ever feel completely misunderstood? like people will say that they care but then when you show any symptoms or anything they just act like you're strange and odd. I feel like some people ever pray upon mental health, like if someone is slightly annoyed at you they know something that will disrupt your mental wellbeing is the best way to get one over on you.

Its such a lonely condition(s) to live with",4.1081763285024175,6.8054463152173925,4.301014492753623,82.4333574879227,74.97826086956522,6.697584541062803,24.352657004830927,7.793537801064563,1.5474164251207734,399,13,67,6,9,124,67,92,0.131,0.653,0.21600000000000005,0.8922,0,2,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,6,3,2,6,9,1,0,2,0,6,2,0,1,3,17,14,7,0,1,4,0,3,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,4,10,7,8,12,2,11,1,1,0,0,10,4,0,3,10,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054267520693188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840164572077332,0.0,0.12757773409513432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269601896885086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806497026556152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625476025323316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356691307374686,0.0,0.18169579063767025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42070466551293056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351657889979629,0.22150910237703575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099757220940247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479125961679894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520127075510589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787028565828465,0.0,0.13689567534133995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348474561070876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31247062327067715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505337240341174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224380138026739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993171636047354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328728980028775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135770655573498,0.11935084075489605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113711316965268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139328318641985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305680703459833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotSureAboutThis097,2018/03/16,"Could this be a sign of something? I am 18 and I am currently in my first year of college. Lately I have been experiencing my emotions differently. The earliest example I can think of would be starting in my junior year of high school every once in a while my emotions would feel muted. Kind of like when water gets in your ears and everything sounds far away, that’s what it felt like, my emotions where too far too feel them to the extent I normally would. The distant feeling lasts anywhere between a few hours to a few days, maybe even a week or two. Lately it’s been happening more and more and starting near the end of last summer I experiencing episodes of extreme sadness, I think it would be safe to label it as depression I felt disconnected from everything, things that would normally have me in stitches could barely get me to crack a smile. I was easily irritable and my friends noticed quickly and they seemed off put by it because it was nothing like my normal cherry disposition. In January there was a week where I felt on top of the world my mood was great better than it had been in months maybe years and I was just jittery constantly bouncing from thing to thing, I couldn’t concentrate unless there was considerable background noise, I couldn’t keep still always fidgeting. Then I slowly started crashing it seemed like my energy was gone completely I didn’t want to leave my room, I didn’t want to go to classes, I didn’t want to eat. One night I just started crying, I didn’t know why, my thoughts were racing and I was curled up on my bed and I just started chanting to myself why can’t I be normal, all I want is to be normal, why am I so fucked up. I had a few suicidal thoughts but I kept them at bay by thinking about my family. I haven’t had any instances since where I’ve been at such a high point before falling but I have noticed my emotions will start to go high before tipping back down again. 

Is this something that people just go through within there lives or is this something I should go and see a professional about? Any advice would be appreciated.",4.500480286738352,6.150765846913582,5.005408203902828,82.44562724014341,70.77777777777777,7.89247311827957,28.866985264834728,8.460557738077197,2.0894858622062924,1668,64,317,27,31,532,201,405,0.046,0.867,0.087,0.8252,2,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,3,3,22,13,1,0,15,0,50,4,1,0,1,59,86,20,1,20,9,0,6,4,1,8,0,2,2,0,18,10,2,3,15,0,0,7,8,3,0,3,27,11,50,9,49,41,7,68,0,2,1,1,5,30,1,4,35,227,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721867208698411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723698566096901,0.0,0.0,0.09355616748839207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462843134512268,0.05289359582619242,0.0,0.041932423158714566,0.0,0.11706675500765774,0.0,0.0,0.06083724631326218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721227317965391,0.07433520771453754,0.0,0.10984297107186862,0.0,0.07556020204951923,0.04436246015751904,0.0,0.05924685782787423,0.0,0.0,0.0718686423887082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703871237564725,0.0,0.3095082040125866,0.06092560073328977,0.0,0.0,0.04543371345589153,0.0,0.05795671420041144,0.0,0.12364413362361334,0.0,0.06484704486951075,0.0,0.1043435822084671,0.0,0.19814131467274268,0.0,0.0,0.0585108936943816,0.0,0.0,0.053145307400687486,0.06359324109463674,0.07187760490613923,0.0,0.15637483772218247,0.0,0.0,0.07583882624257987,0.0,0.0,0.06082885155558546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180343596992569,0.0,0.0,0.06774215703393621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611417845791598,0.0,0.07163194036795817,0.03780399282217988,0.11214252609896888,0.15519133854260478,0.07283638058396902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442503798467342,0.0,0.060740914802392736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382132433994302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054905790229254736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455271934200403,0.3369873454707529,0.06600377882122578,0.15663080245964486,0.0,0.07325679475520297,0.046612414358225635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768882064537258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065026734249127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915076922856644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961695712448034,0.05481499511607271,0.12524371524635255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690200442897592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886869833859266,0.0,0.0,0.2921302839167965,0.0,0.054934050492603366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524272212213197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709873458445535,0.13222939323828053,0.0,0.10921970787808112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719571537853485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229137922678533,0.0,0.11035489721689284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621095396360288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931894080666557,0.0,0.0,0.13289132311321042
mentalhealth,DirEnGay,2018/03/16,"Anybody else get emotionally constipated when giving advice to others about upsetting topics? Idk where else to put this besides in the mental health sub, but I was wondering if anyone else feels this way. I am almost Too empathetic when giving advice about something that causes lots of emotional distress for me and the other person, and its like a mental ""wall"" goes up where i cant properly express emotions or show signs of empathy, i just tell them the straightforward harsh truth and not necessarily what they need to do to get better but i give pointers on what may help them to help themselves. but most people dont seem to like this, they meet my stiff advice with stubbornness and will often go the longer, harder route and eventually reach the same conclusion i had from the very start, only they didnt want to admit i was right. Does anybody else get emotionally stiff and seem uncaring/too cold without meaning to when it comes to giving advice? idk how to break out of it, it feels more like self protection than anything because i get very stressed when ppl i care for are hurting and what needs worked on is so obvious to me but they dont seem to want to accept it",7.337918552036201,7.760751027149322,7.004705882352942,75.12117647058824,63.615384615384606,9.876923076923076,31.47963800904977,9.661875296680813,2.8628751131221724,951,32,167,17,13,299,135,221,0.109,0.71,0.181,0.9648,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,6,3,13,12,1,3,7,0,13,3,0,2,2,47,37,19,0,5,9,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,2,14,10,0,4,10,1,0,3,6,5,0,0,4,3,18,7,29,31,4,19,0,1,0,0,18,9,0,11,8,110,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595922656935673,0.0,0.0,0.09212136097707982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432620012367501,0.09426144459037504,0.07570540834654463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608030693521883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813635652160542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379672090990017,0.0945059062107766,0.0,0.07924697224205961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050689264352227,0.0,0.21563878873747327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074056016107146,0.4139354173331841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303254579910863,0.06572242863094407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922578206199828,0.35300629676309897,0.05228381903433183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778814218418558,0.0,0.0,0.12332683712500125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848432177341576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483475593740346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821226615088195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021132691222977,0.0,0.0,0.18542198055787645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642870782223765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996760156733464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377889703746563,0.08032793056832734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924820478050182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856464060976998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512508983610778,0.0959725747689424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082351947962236,0.0,0.0,0.06511570583109283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538185734539236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804091312853354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181374989685906,0.10852402120346627,0.07302266255512307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868149239990918,0.09976644790715926,0.06697466043043747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bojackhorsewoman69,2018/03/16,"I can’t help to feel lost a lot of time time. Growing up I never had issues with this, I never felt dissociation, I was content with the little things and I’ve always felt and been told I have an “old soul” because I have felt very deeply since a young age. 

In high school my mom passed away from cancer, totally unexpected, and she was literally and figuratively a huge part of me. I would hold myself together for a long day and come home and vent to her, she was a calm and soothing presence.

Four years after her passing and I have never felt so lost and confused, anxious about my past and future, head in the clouds and I feel no grounding. With a busy schedule of school and work i minimally have time for myself.

How do I SLOW DOWN and connect with myself? Can anyone relate to this feeling of being out of control of your body or out of tune with yourself? 

Any tips or advice? Thanks!",3.615430194805196,5.264841630681822,4.532175324675325,84.96022727272731,73.0340909090909,6.619480519480518,24.50324675324676,7.1686216300943375,0.9615451298701292,701,21,139,7,14,227,110,176,0.08900000000000001,0.816,0.094,-0.4158,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,4,3,5,0,1,9,0,14,3,2,2,4,41,26,17,0,1,2,1,7,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,21,0,2,8,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,12,7,22,2,27,12,3,32,1,2,0,0,8,11,0,4,17,100,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625379566514738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750564490142964,0.0,0.0,0.08786116183616892,0.0,0.0,0.14596043969513955,0.0,0.0903403960668126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213886634750422,0.0,0.0,0.07875977642602035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351326858706942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112952863013659,0.0,0.0,0.14490999236782445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332400516158349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598383749785828,0.0,0.4962131756712705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259757797796715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660075746833483,0.1365080299009237,0.1295992131419854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348523553326057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949341999510244,0.0,0.11433888610002114,0.0,0.0,0.2820764724826858,0.10984213411905117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131873810055554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29894350326629016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355747947808753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399121742175967,0.12333704597468885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26151677225189945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687646478372384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895099161185485,0.0,0.0,0.08583545357643653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260145584011769,0.0,0.0,0.12345716443422465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660441832178544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405992174406602,0.0,0.0,0.09178073707786698,0.0,0.0,0.08320125660071946
mentalhealth,Sydthekid2000,2018/03/16,"Sudden burst of anger Tonight I'm feeling really angry and I don't know why.
Sometimes when I get mad I push my mom or hit her, but never my dad.
He's more angry than I am, and can burst at any moment. He slams his hands on things and yells a lot. Even if my mum doesn't answer a question or doesn't hear her. ",-0.8031521739130412,1.1352271449275406,1.4549094202898551,99.99366847826089,89.14492753623188,4.029710144927536,14.422101449275365,5.148860815047168,-1.1966681159420287,239,4,59,1,8,80,52,69,0.177,0.804,0.019,-0.8856,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,0,5,1,1,0,1,13,11,8,0,1,4,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,4,10,0,4,10,2,8,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,5,5,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21961711025453495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330546398351544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632932502005514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872807325569486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639881806701441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774849030817865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745605859890475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782351985166494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490789898693821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617779695981295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689007335830184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31940585991627085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21455366487179892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29141219088024123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon17751,2018/03/16,"Had to get this off my chest. X-post r/SuicideWatch Yes wonderful title but all too true. I was fighting for my life with cancer for 9 months. During an operation to remove the tumor I died on the operating table for several minutes. Ever since then I haven't felt the same. I have had a note written since then and I have been trying my hardest not to finish the job, but I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my cancer free status and it has become harder and harder to find a reason to get out of bed. I lost my drive, my spirit you could say. Since that day I started drinking in secret, and I haven't been able to sleep. Sorry if this seems like the ramblings of an angsty 18 year old but I had to get it off my chest. If this falls on deaf ears I won't mind I just had to say it",1.7839285714285715,3.2230447738095265,3.6995238095238094,89.91214285714287,77.45238095238095,6.2285714285714295,19.738095238095237,6.868970318607317,0.17895952380952362,614,13,136,6,14,208,101,168,0.157,0.745,0.098,-0.926,1,0,1,0,2,1,14.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,1,0,10,1,15,9,4,1,3,26,25,11,1,3,7,0,1,1,0,1,4,4,1,0,7,7,1,0,6,1,1,4,4,2,0,0,10,5,20,4,23,13,2,22,1,1,0,0,5,8,0,4,11,92,27,1,0.16766023387683182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516755592137407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442444583322064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386305411325394,0.0,0.0,0.10812698066547337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174004852626959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424320028162448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165828027113248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16098011715745564,0.0,0.15323841634218688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627866568390497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637691172426872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842338148938585,0.08191032142668916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302095072826832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928904165547168,0.0,0.1338247991085528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593121196670328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057215848473422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723826441979035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666602947357953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263158004346075,0.0,0.18940834169259008,0.0,0.4160708340478999,0.0,0.1677813160926183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768190527959214,0.11867077648050947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113830293295575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818203717326762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159353873199754
mentalhealth,hammeredgiraffe,2018/03/16,"Waking up is a struggle I have everything going for me. I'm in school with good grades, I work hard, I'm good at what I do. I have my dream internship lined up for the summer, an unconditionally supportive family, a boyfriend and great friends. I can't stop from hating myself though. I can't stop the panic attacks. Every morning I wake up and am barely able to get out of bed/ do basic things to take care of myself. When I go to bed I have terrible nightmares about seeing my family get shot, or being drugged and unable to stand up-- sleep isn't even guaranteed peace anymore. I live in fear that I'm going to fail, that my boyfriend will leave and that he doesn't really like me. I want to run away or peel my own skin off because it is so uncomfortable. Many nights it takes about as much strength as I have to stop myself from drinking because I know that if I start in a non- social setting I won't be able to stop. I've struggled with mental health since age 12. I should be on medication, but my psychiatrist lives too far from my school to get a refill, and I don't want to live my life dependent on a pill anyways.

These are supposed to be the best years of my life. I want to be able to enjoy my successes. I should be out having a blast and loving every second of my life because I am so incredibly lucky. I'm so scared that I am wasting the best years of my life, and what's worse I'm scared it won't change, that this is what my life is going to look like.",4.893894353369763,4.73866064262295,5.758661202185793,83.95573315118399,68.80327868852459,8.744990892531877,27.108378870673953,8.344100000000001,1.5369635701275042,1156,31,251,15,18,381,155,305,0.12,0.6920000000000001,0.188,0.9679,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,6,10,25,2,6,11,0,31,15,4,1,0,27,56,18,0,6,4,0,2,2,1,5,9,0,2,0,15,11,1,4,1,2,0,5,7,10,0,1,0,4,38,15,44,45,4,33,0,1,2,1,4,15,0,5,13,163,53,6,0.2774373993069409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171445015314036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520836462501293,0.08688718977652868,0.0,0.0,0.16912326353667073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410228936354515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428863960893906,0.0,0.09783066052679897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059434326658906,0.10724643421709763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061081595222601474,0.0,0.15583531646200827,0.0,0.08311428174343362,0.0,0.17436219251357274,0.10406473546953847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144914883043914,0.0,0.14494959033150145,0.0,0.210232090098014,0.1551342184069383,0.0,0.10195857072532066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284313850673307,0.09130399792447197,0.0,0.098300993968534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050824113014761516,0.0,0.0,0.09792204902266102,0.0,0.0,0.32660373321524816,0.09036126626468738,0.0,0.24498230647681085,0.0,0.0776591803411039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834660282512586,0.0,0.0,0.09375932579184736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316299730233116,0.09319721484289104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798280361563454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678540170823715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850433695321404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059244500728883036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517549070125147,0.1871876398496455,0.07369389576881834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649969455522641,0.0,0.0925459204262432,0.09427083002596047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545720639730344,0.0,0.0,0.30926678485999226,0.0,0.19335853858210533,0.0,0.0,0.10494422431719633,0.0,0.0,0.1390655978456405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143902676697351,0.0,0.09086027873081798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636397662663885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732591031964373,0.0,0.0942441373446315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910705934082053
mentalhealth,puncroc,2018/03/16,"physical symptoms of depressive episodes hey y’all. when i get sad, which is a lot, i feel physically sick. uneasy stomach, headaches, etc. it really sucks. anyone know how to help that not happen? thanks!",2.2055952380952384,4.742114083333334,2.8046031746031765,84.11500000000002,102.61111111111113,6.501587301587303,24.58730158730159,7.447530270364453,2.204330158730159,161,7,27,4,7,50,35,36,0.382,0.5579999999999999,0.06,-0.9245,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,5,7,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,7,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253675054061963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124752387567035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046128912084444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834403092343164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895456786886256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208188688816011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24317418108660585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993829228443862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084357665459458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324160918332259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770834439173741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33401335993197423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lonelyperson74893058,2018/03/16,"I need help I think So I live in the US and am 16 years old, recently I became very depressed and actually started self harm that's besides the point though. My question related to these really sadistic thought that I have been having, like vivid thoughts of torturing people. sometimes it's people I don't know but most of the time it's people I dislike. They are freakishly vivid, like to a scary extent. I was wondering if this is normal?",3.4428529411764686,5.8331861529411775,4.379632352941177,82.58709558823529,75.70588235294117,7.544117647058822,28.27205882352941,8.472884824447931,2.321735294117647,353,15,64,7,8,114,65,85,0.195,0.726,0.079,-0.8778,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,13,15,6,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,11,2,5,11,2,7,0,1,2,0,5,2,0,4,7,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.19449885482308668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166633383557764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359400993404613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953615246540342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19474664389442375,0.0,0.1759953276887571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477866340609999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19528253232943826,0.0,0.0,0.2091434418155648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145316041359041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884133856056776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327401456936316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276837760590299,0.0,0.19679563804630348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079249157112923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971237460912936,0.0,0.1410734022610872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277104867933269,0.19582211579801295,0.31646145502760864,0.1162198886128921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239746678497918,0.0,0.0,0.16445250753726062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161443550082189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834979538032165
mentalhealth,thatboyjohn,2018/03/16,"Could loneliness drive a person insane? Hi, I’m from NJ, US. If you’ve been alone for a long time without a lot of contact with other people, what would happen to you? Will you start talking to yourself, starts imagining things or completely break down under the heavy pressure and stress and go insane ? Give it enough time can it really change/destroy a person with a normal mental health?",4.98,7.212943666666671,4.823333333333338,81.855,70.66666666666666,7.022222222222222,24.5,7.793537801064563,1.4659833333333323,312,9,52,4,6,96,59,72,0.218,0.782,0.0,-0.9344,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,11,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,10,7,2,10,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,3,5,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21549607877445756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181557248405151,0.0,0.0,0.16612566091103834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499024398850247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959813766861675,0.11825004828691768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399417037835536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211669451226363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413395786237302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689228560174633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096839764136886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038628232237341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442484078948852,0.3633545461648685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329392422743036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29454372312425536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383416121816773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672374724471951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382313780642849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426526768651541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502806275302005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057048150134613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780579862296178,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,himeayumi22,2018/03/16,"Survey [Academic]: gender differences in alcohol use among college students as a way to cope with emotions Hi Everyone,

We’re conducting research on gender differences in alcohol use among college students as a way to cope with emotions. This will help us point to the need of greater alcohol control policies (in terms of access, availability, pricing marketing), modifying the role of campus culture, challenge media-driven messages of acceptability of alcohol tolerance and reinforce personal values and consistent rules across gender and health campaigns.

Please take a few minutes of your time to fill out our survey. Each answer that is recorded is anonymous. 
https://pace.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8zZB2FHjNzp0p9z

*This study has been approved by Pace University's Institutional Review Board (IRB).* 

Thank you,
Raven Rafiq
John Chilelli
Yelizaveta Kravtsiv 
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mentalhealth,NaijaNightmare,2018/03/16,"Mental disorder or Hypersanity After years of anxiety, add (which I'm not even sure if I believe in), and depression and numerous unfortunate events and existential crisis I decided to see a psychiatrist because I'm pretty much suicidal without actually wanting to die (look it up Issa ting).

Today I had my first appointment and did my intake with this well intentioned and well educated therapist. I was pretty much pre diagnosed (still need to take test and see psych) with Bipolar Polar. I'm not sure if I quite agree with that I've studied and researched BP before and all thought I'm not a licensed medical professional (I am a pre med bio major tho) I truly feel as tho I don't exhibit the symptoms. I've also known even before I knew the term I had massive anxiety, add and depression cause by my anxiety and life I general. I've never truly been happy but I've always been able to feign happiness or I'm happy when I'm sufficiently distracted ie via sports, media, books, relationships, etc. When I fall into my funks it's simply me no longer have the energy nor desire to go through my standard life routine or maintain my facade.

I think anxiety is my biggest issue but the rest of my problems stem from my pessimistic view on life becauses at some point I became agnostic and nihilistic. It's only agnostic and not atheist cause I still cling to some hope there's more to all this but my logic has deduced based on occams razer there isn't and that's where my problem lies. The human brain / ego provides defenses for us so we can go thru everyday life. Due to my nihilism I feel I've broken thru those defenses and am at a point where I'm simply like what's the point and my life has essentially become waiting to die but wanting to enjoy life in the meantime but not being able to because of my circumstances. Because of my anxiety and overanalzyation of ever single possible thing I have a some what cognitive dissonance when it comes to life and I see this more as being hyoer aware or what I'm calling for lack of better terminology hyper sanity. Basically I'm kinda feeling like Jim Carrey during that red carpet interview. ",6.3710262710262695,7.24429070761671,7.620651105651107,68.30752551502552,65.75675675675676,10.88070308070308,34.08136458136458,10.80991298281133,4.0690552636552635,1726,75,286,47,26,590,220,407,0.158,0.7390000000000001,0.103,-0.9677,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,0,0,3,18,19,2,1,12,0,18,12,1,4,6,78,46,38,3,10,17,0,3,2,0,0,11,0,1,1,16,25,0,3,10,2,0,4,11,7,2,1,8,9,36,12,40,36,15,33,2,2,6,0,6,14,0,11,17,190,52,6,0.16369855521403087,0.0,0.07987308804420758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545483773100072,0.06810515577795864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130723666902112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995782397268324,0.09039609654579764,0.139295413518841,0.09221610731258092,0.0,0.0723890346324121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913708629907508,0.08357726373460925,0.0,0.0,0.16816350904715602,0.0,0.07050590522810987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409933257360021,0.08307529385736227,0.16989325564336855,0.0,0.0938063632265005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128358041123977,0.10812135184102366,0.07403735755512257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415636216118613,0.058473140276710786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696209537198045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303366136281904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261390233981402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129480083937199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542938071179934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40468795741182334,0.07997484534416342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873277892257043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091609582257763,0.08245453620833483,0.08248482067232538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203372734794824,0.060690202237171184,0.06312720873843973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062250063889840765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321220700894822,0.09227276242196474,0.0,0.1665402813455838,0.0,0.15663740936704326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705678176178562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787549291288875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956698315732883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072987765196925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952982502675523,0.0,0.15428395099639944,0.0850727389623528,0.061540470492194924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503331983426536,0.05437702310846011,0.052445712161597824,0.0,0.06497918376694194,0.0,0.0,0.07758354478662177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845460312549634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655364914855348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718466054356513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889978281488018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270825124494049
mentalhealth,MousouYumikoP,2018/03/16,"I give up on psychiatrists tbh. Honestly, I give up on psychiatrists. I had 3 psychiatrists actually diagnose me with schizophrenia while all the voices in my head were in fact my thoughts. They gave me meds which made me have harsh side effects and made me gain weight, evetually become very VERY depressed about it. I was also forced to take meds by my friend (I am living with him) so I had no choice. When I told my psychiatrist that the meds I am taking made me gain 3 KG, he used to say ""Oh 3 Kg is not a lot anyway"" I gained 9 Kg in total. Whenever I wanted to stop my meds, Me and my friend get into huge fights. I then had to go to a professer that told me that I didn't even need meds. but my friend was insistant on taking meds, so again I was forced. I am forever traumatised by hospitals, ER, psychiatric wards and psychiatrists. I will never see them again. ",3.2074153592072685,4.848427549132951,4.712522708505372,83.28556358381506,74.08670520231216,8.642279108175064,23.917836498761353,9.23628265651192,1.777183649876136,678,20,143,16,14,227,100,173,0.127,0.779,0.095,-0.6791,0,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,2,4,9,6,1,0,4,0,14,3,1,5,4,22,32,10,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,5,6,1,1,2,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,15,4,32,4,19,16,3,19,0,1,1,0,14,11,0,1,7,94,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.1043343754048104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550050810740419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808007556836544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208640192282866,0.10851726292818037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061686225286137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780859190018495,0.0,0.05585908061037255,0.20512671082270173,0.06076269985041784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972643223515187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440858973320712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089597012082093,0.0,0.30349887947005183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7125559537632349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927669379831981,0.08246003824378043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502371702431351,0.0,0.0,0.08519803170526509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938637680570241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411620750421315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487918419888785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432521308174853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092340903418446,0.0,0.17643342602980025,0.06306169526958767,0.0,0.0,0.13019461290714435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LeeChuckThePirate,2018/03/16,"How could one become ignorant again? I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent and more deeply looking into things like politics, society and economy. the problem with this is, it takes away any possiblity for me to enjoy things.

I'll give you an example, it was during our lunch break as one of my colleagues said he thought it was cool what rdj did with Marvel about infite war (that new Marvel movie) about releasing it early for the world. everyone was like wow thats awesome, great guys... all i could think was, yep thats called Marketing and pr. decisions like this are most likely not ""fan service"" but rather planned and staged actions.
this happens to many things in my daliy life and it makes it just more misserable. I feel completly detached from everyone around me (depression and self image issues are not helping). no empathy nor sympathy, just nothing.
Now to my question, how could i become blissfully ignorant? How can i stop myself from questioning everything and just accept everything as it is.
I see so many people watching stupid casting shows, basically public shaming and they seem to enjoy it. I always ask myself how are they doing it? How can they turn off their brain and enjoy these shows?
If this is my life, i would rather be stupid, simple and could atleast pass time more quickly with nonsense activities.",6.374328219432822,8.393291958158997,6.078709902370992,75.13044049279405,66.65690376569036,9.495211529521157,32.106229660622965,9.861636050157227,3.4304837749883776,1074,45,174,25,18,334,151,239,0.118,0.738,0.14400000000000002,0.6088,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,4,1,17,19,3,1,3,2,21,4,1,6,1,50,34,21,1,9,9,0,1,4,0,1,2,1,0,2,21,15,1,3,8,2,0,2,4,8,0,2,7,6,23,11,22,20,6,17,0,1,3,0,17,6,0,6,11,128,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966355432030556,0.0,0.0,0.0814520547579891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662638411547758,0.11197475911978473,0.0,0.1125338643120244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645672321140597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371006736495922,0.12230508937258025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255832695437496,0.0,0.0,0.3825268150551866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316323204739146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289029534235671,0.21529459816028135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056254333521665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114900430605675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205389647152171,0.0,0.11859746059412117,0.10591786903596452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028359165733648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501543573116658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920321760653334,0.23406678252678315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058200392446816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995167261301828,0.2428689263350273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156807870322496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492867976764275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623271678878612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303786986641487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502988672264918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460983224192672,0.0,0.0,0.2683539452439587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139347785554002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544627796574127,0.10903992998222836,0.1249529004825338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013842803859427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005694141266478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387223405236133,0.07674787647392978,0.0,0.09508907713476852,0.06984257815500074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028232126355013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508571325444918,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tinkerwitch,2018/03/17,"does anyone else cry over nothing? I'm a 24 year-old male from the UK and I have BPD, depression and anxiety. I have been through a lot of shit in my life but I have never been a cryer. about 3 years ago that changed, I still can't cry at the normal things that would upset a person but instead I find myself crying at EVERYTHING else. anime TV films music random things I see (e.g. I drove past a girl in a field putting rugs on her horses earlier and nearly balled my eyes out) there's no memories connected to the things that make me cry it just happens. anyone else like this?",2.134992295839752,4.163195796610172,3.293636363636363,90.55529275808941,78.32203389830508,6.324807395993839,20.896764252696453,7.348242739294969,0.5888542372881358,456,12,95,6,11,147,86,118,0.225,0.748,0.027000000000000003,-0.9713,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,1,9,0,7,3,2,1,1,14,12,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,8,4,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,3,0,0,3,2,12,1,13,8,1,15,0,1,2,0,4,8,1,2,6,61,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180564017537397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188265251496956,0.0,0.0,0.18624568474917094,0.2729181462518737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16773606978442693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088721938364507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.585169726362808,0.0,0.0,0.1147080958050917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654707816249735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33376544077865555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969396897502847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172448603055673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777100065328736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094069265331004,0.06506522329229095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132252257793026,0.0,0.0,0.08889896080086339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027169459274334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048852927075005,0.1277901995498096,0.0,0.13975044159657146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271357752599809,0.0,0.11628800088003136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388310118843635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612754738145587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367077815675972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635805100709736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654374486349836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460754528466428,0.0,0.0,0.17152764081455066
mentalhealth,throwaway89728412,2018/03/17,"I think I am developing an anxiety disorder/intense paranoia? I have never had any major mental health issues in the past, but lately I have been almost crippled by an inner paranoia and anxiety. 

To sum things up, I have been living in a major city for 4 years now, but in the last month I have become hyper-sensitive to all outside noises. This includes cars driving past, people entering or exiting my apartment complex, people walking upstairs or downstairs, or any muffled speech heard through walls. I feel in a way that this is somehow part of a plot to hurt me.

Because I got too paranoid, I stopped smoking weed 1.5 years ago, and this sensation is almost exactly how I used to get, except now I am stone cold sober. I have tried exercising, I now run 10k a day to tire myself out to make it easier to sleep. On today's run I saw someone in a hi-vis sitting in a car 4 k from my apartment, and had a passing, yet gripping, thought that he was a secret agent monitoring me. I realize how insane all of this sounds, and I have literally no reason to believe I would be under surveillance (I don't take any illicit substances, and only occasionally drink, never stole, etc.) and yet I can't shake the feeling in my head.

Right now I am shivering in bed while a St. Patrick's day party happens on the floor above. I get scared anytime I hear a laugh, and cars are idling outside the complex, making me run up and watch the people get in or out. I am terrified, and am afraid this will be a sleepless night. 

I don't know what to do. A psychiatrist is out of my budget, and I don't want to be on any major altering drugs, and yet I feel like I could breakdown into tears any moment. Any advice? People going through similar things? I am at my wit's end.",5.937485549132951,5.855408500000002,6.913069364161853,76.3124942196532,66.60115606936418,9.46335260115607,33.77398843930636,9.120678840339163,2.936808554913295,1375,57,259,22,20,462,193,346,0.116,0.8320000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9528,0,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,3,20,0,32,7,2,6,5,50,52,20,0,3,7,0,4,1,0,2,4,4,1,0,11,15,1,1,11,2,1,12,7,4,0,0,9,11,37,2,39,37,7,66,0,1,2,0,4,27,0,7,26,175,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059151460156226,0.09607910188944016,0.0,0.21706912700641726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422438661406029,0.0,0.16583249372907652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660720984772937,0.11970563125743199,0.0,0.12211575233630775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653870984547114,0.0,0.0,0.13980212043212004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617862223013347,0.12569524998660336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599927665047443,0.0,0.12088086802542355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644121402919366,0.07743215067789821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988420291244707,0.0,0.061599192814615726,0.0,0.08668749599344394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584683086472336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123698704554033,0.11521099140503298,0.12216074608400936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603120885553005,0.0,0.0,0.11312853471340333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059567011596916825,0.08835039177033205,0.12226597738221838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052952725352406985,0.0,0.0957082706438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469918082830158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922924667144608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651397905792188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719045755977172,0.0,0.0,0.10171445645290822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243368329487095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737325031338243,0.20693653073514467,0.3005693653353512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144054442397808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256245115060112,0.0,0.0,0.10851493462229747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846591486360514,0.0,0.09183649446074668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061691915285253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149401522459905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401586187519486,0.06945042231850111,0.0,0.08604767803744359,0.0,0.12457564611328915,0.10273880796574672,0.0,0.0,0.0735880918628713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936121194145646,0.0,0.0,0.06392983747744313,0.0860330624971365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699546867332117,0.0,0.0,0.13959617126950474
mentalhealth,Ariev13,2018/03/17,"I feel like no one will help me. So I recently worked up the courage to talk to my doctor about some things. She listened really well and advised me to go to a therapist. The therapist that she advised had no room/time, but she suggested an other therapist. I went there on an intake interview, but she said she didn't feel like she was the right person to help me. She suggested a third place, but it will take 2 months before I can have an intake interview there, and I am not even sure that they will help. So I'm starting to get a little discouraged by all this. Should I just give up on it? ",4.232913223140496,4.83913380991736,5.131890495867771,85.20874483471077,70.40495867768595,9.355785123966943,26.695247933884296,9.516144504307137,2.051255371900826,465,14,100,10,8,152,74,121,0.071,0.785,0.14400000000000002,0.8399,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,8,6,0,0,9,0,10,1,0,0,2,14,21,7,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,4,1,2,0,1,7,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,5,4,18,5,12,12,2,12,0,1,0,0,22,7,0,1,5,75,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155905057008553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702752385346286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098783910132063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168231973623893,0.2376934606049469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691558510440653,0.15958647991412594,0.09454551618670616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345203073631809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162548972581612,0.1667351800169887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278597386841648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272900014864536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452580511535591,0.1738094949610765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657368054561997,0.0,0.16425920433479352,0.0,0.0,0.14206947077825846,0.15824527509258715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774958550024482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679116109804864,0.0,0.1250810827785532,0.13371286851330094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5794660221074224,0.11052136706597374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957650276266446,0.15421623579363372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211111575010828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daffodilsandlilies,2018/03/17,"Boyfriend's Depression is really severe (advice, please) So, my boyfriend has a therapist that he frequently goes to see. Thanks to her, he's discovered his depression is far worse than they initially thought. But for whatever reason, they haven't changed his medication or even upped his dosage. 

I feel like I've tried and suggested every method to alleviate his depression, or at least ways to lighten the effects so it doesn't hit him so hard. He's either tried the suggested methods and they didn't work, or he was a stubborn butt and refused to try it because he was already convinced it wouldn't help him. I've  googled, and relied on Tumblr, I've looked at blogs and psychology websites. Nothing seems to work for him, that I can find.

Side note: We are currently long distance, but do plan on moving in together, soon. When we visited, his room was always a mess so I'd go through cleaning his room and removing any type of sharp object he might hurt himself with.

So, I was kind of hoping....does anyone who has severe depression, or experience dealing with someone that has severe depression, have any suggestions for what I can suggest to him or maybe help him with?",6.643283093053732,7.625609619266058,6.5048754914809965,76.16027522935781,65.19266055045873,10.26526867627785,35.2961992136304,10.290406445055957,3.7495979030144166,939,43,166,22,14,296,131,218,0.199,0.777,0.024,-0.9902,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,3,4,8,12,1,0,5,0,19,2,1,2,0,29,27,19,0,1,8,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,8,11,0,2,6,1,0,4,4,8,0,0,6,5,23,4,23,18,2,20,0,6,2,1,34,10,1,7,6,101,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747720893239155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266532615998364,0.0,0.10003234390665636,0.0,0.0,0.16350691100718492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406034470380418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328475680214502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271764040246028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394113635199387,0.5177248582526379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940391683616273,0.0,0.10129020422102362,0.0,0.0,0.1175978443217458,0.0,0.0,0.0607866456708926,0.08588491151142941,0.0,0.0,0.10987854315553522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683235733186063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107693154647692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116133737148916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869757610859991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519022116279946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873322762399533,0.0,0.0,0.10639056941380412,0.10095419209169353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077675419596977,0.0,0.0,0.12110860666036967,0.0,0.12753400525070496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277744169706485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535395559249575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196502759911574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701575886701044,0.12360577890251967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957994621724432,0.10944341539821732,0.0,0.4074418114622225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186168317978066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068206243369667,0.0,0.13958423005808798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544093957497717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24486366590389494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542472855184303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504261191796214,0.0,0.1225140505374362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cloviscare,2018/03/17,"Thought that people are reading my mind I've had this problem seen my second year in highschool. Im male, and 17 years old now turning 18 in a couple of months. Each time Id be in a situation where Id be seated next to and talk to a girl each school day, Id leave school thinking that shes was reading my mind or something. Im out of school now, and I had a relationship where Id log on each day to talk to this girl, and whenever one of us get off Id think about her like crazy. Im not even the biggest fan of her, but Id think about her alot and think shes in my head. Id even be careful about what I look up online and how Id look into my phone and such. Ive decided to quit logging onto the game that I talked to her on, but I want to know what this problem is called and how I can fix it. God bless friends.",2.292333333333332,2.271514481081084,4.0084459459459465,93.782759009009,74.45945945945945,7.031531531531532,24.605855855855857,6.42735559955562,0.43174774774774827,629,17,163,4,12,213,98,185,0.051,0.851,0.098,0.802,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,12,6,0,0,7,0,12,1,1,2,0,32,25,13,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,9,13,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,3,18,4,25,17,4,24,1,0,3,0,18,14,0,2,11,94,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215933941224643,0.0,0.12140939735393827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317591050951014,0.0,0.15359273984245644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730165789114164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920004587714198,0.0,0.06221407825246787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220983172025615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858785991543077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544293095926319,0.0,0.0,0.12608790421425242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817618605398973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999934313045356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24047252196574415,0.0,0.0950480510389038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664230620719272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495381219129145,0.0,0.08069129176482663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255467118787385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22788583162961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665561305533274,0.23822327432393975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278467248867113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615441686375268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385024897371414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167314949917696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871345635557379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052051174658284,0.0,0.09453575229046406,0.06943616308769847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295242063748484,0.0,0.0,0.14323787147451114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023612278192211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533664750615177
mentalhealth,daleksec54,2018/03/17,"Am I reaching the end of the line? Hello, Reddit. I feel like I'm reaching the line somewhat

It began when I took Nbome at the age of eighteen, three years ago now. I had just come out of some rocky mid-teen years (characterised by low self-esteem, self-harming, and self-starving), and had just started to get my life together. I had a woman my age I was planning to spend my life with, a girl whom I helped save from suicide, and I was just starting to establish good relationships with my siblings and parents, for the first time in years

Then I did Nbome and things changed a bit. The 'spark'  went out for me - severely impairing my ability to hold a conversation, to be happy, and just enjoy life in general. It sucked the life right out of me, and made me constantly flat and feeling dragged down. This would be the death of my relationship with my woman, to whom, I grew cold and distant. Eventually she would spiral back into her depression, and try to take her life two more times. Now she's long gone off with someone else. 

Following this period, I would descend into further drug use, abusing ecstasy massively, as well as dabbling in cocaine, speed, weed and psychedelics, causing me to further regress and isolate myself and grow distant from my family, ruining my reputation with my reckless drug-induced behaviour and thus alienating my friends also.

Now I'm 21, and I haven't had an (illegal) drug in five months. I have been diagnosed with non-organic psychosis, and am on medication. Slowly, I feel I'm taking a little more joy in life - certainly more than I've felt in a good few years. However, my behaviour, over this period, has damaged my relationship with my family and friends. I'm starting to feel like, even if I am returning to relative normality finally, that it's too little, too late. Every day I get the impression more and more that my family would rather kick me out, which I don't know if I'd be able to handle. With pretty much no friends left, I'm not sure if it's the end for me.

What would you say? Is there any coming back from this? Is there anyway I can fix things before they fall apart

And thanks for reading, if you did

TL;DR ruined my mental health with drugs and am now facing the consequences of three years of my stupid behaviour. What do?
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mentalhealth,ugxxx,2018/03/17,"I'm dealing with suicidal thoughts and i don't know what to do First of all, sorry for my bad English, I'm from Norway.
I'm a woman and I'm in my early 20s.
I often fantasize about killing myself and I don't know what to do anymore. 
There is nothing in this world that brings me joy or anything, I just want everything to stop.
I feel like I have lived what was meant to me and that's enough.
Getting a therapist is not an option.
I feel like killing myself is the only valid solution because this is not going to get better, I will find myself in the same position in the future hoping I have done it before.

I don't know is this is the correct sub to post this, if not, my apologies.

Thanks for reading.


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mentalhealth,AbdXO,2018/03/17,"[NEW] SanctionedSuicide & TrueSanctionedSuicide ARE GONE, BUT **We are at**

1- https://discord.gg/7VsHDKa

2- /r/TimeToGo

3- /r/SYOTOS

4- https://sanctionedsuicide.net/ 

5- http://sanctionedsuicide.freeforums.net

Ex-ss & tss members hope you stumble upon this soon..",12.14766233766234,12.093264393939394,6.783831168831169,50.62431818181818,147.4848484848485,8.215584415584416,26.599567099567103,6.868970318607317,3.803356709956709,227,8,24,6,14,60,30,33,0.0,0.883,0.117,0.5927,0,0,0,0,0,4,38.0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8425359269786308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861691762506653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755084274209325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ask_a_doc_throwaway1,2018/03/17,"I was diagnosed with ADD 10 years ago and have been taking meds ever since. Now, my symptoms are back and seem worse than before. Was I misdiagnosed? Sorry this is so long.  This is the first time I have ever told my experience and wanted to include the details.

I had several head injuries throughout my childhood (I can remember 6), and suffered a loss of consciousness during at least 3 of those.  2 of those were brief, maybe 30 seconds or so, and the other one was around an hour from what I was told.  My parents never took me to the hospital for these injuries.  I'm not sure if these childhood experiences are related, but I wanted to include them in case they may be.

In my late teens and early 20s, I started to experience increased anxiety and became more unsociable.  I didn't drink a lot, but smoked weed on occasion.  In my mid 20s, I tried meth, and seemed to regain a much more socialable personality and less anxiety.  Unfortunately, I became addicted and lost everything in 2 years.  At that point, I cold-turkeyed and became clean.

A couple of years later, I was having extreme difficulty with concentration and my memory was getting noticably worse.  I went to a doctor and explained these symptoms.  I should have told him about my earlier addiction, but was just too embarrassed.  He diagnosed me with Inattentive ADD, and prescribed Concerta.  I should mention that he was a GP and did not give me any tests, just a prescription.  It seemed to help me focus a bit better, but my dosage increased from 18mg to 54mg within the year.  I'm guessing I had a higher tolerance based on my history.

I took the medication as prescribed for several years, but I felt that it was becoming ineffective and increased the dosage on my own.  I would cut one pill into thirds and take the additional third on days when I felt I needed it.  After some time doing that, I cut the pill into halves and started taking 1.5 pills/day, but I still don't feel that it is as effective as it was.

I am in my late 30s now, and really feel that my concentration and memory are getting even worse.  I routinely misread emails, miss words when I type emails, lose focus when other people are talking, and have to stop in the middle of sentences because I lost my train of thought or can't think of the word I need to use.  I also feel like if I do manage to maintain focus on something, it takes me much longer to process the information than it used to.

I also feel like my personality is changing.  I am very irratible most of the time and don't want to interact with anyone.

A few exmples:  If you were to introduce yourself to me and then immediately asked me to repeat your name, I would not be able to.  If I were to ask a question to someone, and they said something unrelated and then asked me to repeat my question, I would not be able to.  I constantly lose and forget things.  Much of the time, I feel like there is so much going through my mind that I can't prioritize, and end up accomplishing very little.

I'm just not sure what to do at this point.  I have a difficult time talking about this to anyone.  If I explain this to a doctor, I'm sure they would revoke my prescription.  Sometimes, the symptoms are worse on the medicine, but overall, I really think that the medicine does help, but don't want to be branded as an addict.  I just don't know if I have ADD or if this is something else that has similar symptoms.

Does this sound like something that I need to have checked out, or is this just part of the aging process and I am overthinking it?  If I should have it checked out, who do I talk to?  I'm not comfortable to talk to my GP about this, since I see her every month for the prescription.  My family does not talk about things like this, so I can't go to them either.  And, my husband just makes jokes if I bring it up, so he is no help either.  I am very anxious about this whole situation and don't know where to turn.",6.074461942257216,6.2182425616797925,6.654419947506561,77.51380839895016,66.29658792650919,9.975433070866146,32.0251968503937,9.780354969302161,2.88788062992126,3080,115,600,61,45,1010,311,762,0.111,0.82,0.069,-0.9744,1,0,7,0,0,0,90.0,0,2,5,10,32,23,2,1,34,0,70,16,1,4,6,136,130,67,0,23,36,2,7,5,0,8,14,2,1,2,43,43,1,1,23,2,2,10,18,12,0,6,30,10,90,11,87,88,21,82,0,7,1,0,44,29,0,23,48,435,133,6,0.11003010849380976,0.0,0.0,0.17992358896838248,0.0,0.0,0.04876752617145378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799103800971639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0374121234344912,0.0,0.08417273183211378,0.062151351886394285,0.0,0.07693561018632188,0.0,0.0,0.04897506214857585,0.15429494770330196,0.0,0.0,0.042303180839234886,0.0,0.033536666437641145,0.060759805102412426,0.04681375911390602,0.0,0.0,0.04865634473042536,0.06006219046349408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058198632657357065,0.0,0.0,0.059451729184820994,0.0,0.0,0.060873111121144775,0.0,0.07096031741474343,0.0,0.0,0.11167824400562854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262047841831856,0.14443213413412412,0.0,0.0,0.05389380871206965,0.0,0.0,0.04595801844571658,0.0,0.0487270087295351,0.0,0.0,0.03633692447074675,0.09952853247524432,0.046352555982850624,0.0,0.04944398336594205,0.16144583884415395,0.05186329692953995,0.0,0.1390863222232962,0.11790829723954938,0.10564615917924397,0.0,0.0,0.0467957770379638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057486190362761876,0.05277545305969185,0.06253264630187738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606052847050245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564613175008589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062629358238353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417874649443628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046967009226813,0.0,0.12411875495520315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134387882936546,0.05513953732873182,0.0,0.04868659178571528,0.0,0.12309554679281835,0.12011086111251287,0.04677183176376109,0.0,0.0,0.03672297590870642,0.0,0.05527001651689535,0.0,0.06110932301212151,0.055421879276502176,0.0,0.0,0.0555495217603254,0.0,0.043912491425646,0.0,0.16176957993899044,0.1223788968925764,0.04243100140572623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626350038974256,0.0,0.0,0.07455924911699514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061087707148466175,0.059575942571498834,0.0,0.038140511573464285,0.0960740466776648,0.0,0.0,0.10401401740070387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325890308635765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048810498308519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232133191786204,0.0,0.05233191490946358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043839875411698315,0.15025091749634276,0.0,0.12430270377278856,0.0,0.09101804276584734,0.06183922601393505,0.0,0.056080919595571065,0.04661407693280354,0.1694131062065384,0.054411295381483496,0.06158484908057876,0.07787987711377899,0.0,0.043935093387420916,0.0459950487614721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555531126538534,0.22872682500232416,0.1654578963427754,0.22109508335222788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309911494785684,0.07050285070177721,0.0,0.043675807830850136,0.16039860275358478,0.0,0.0,0.15770772585381804,0.12224749906935503,0.03735161055064304,0.05984058105011651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503068604384593,0.0,0.1361795441888278,0.12979721754291934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05099950645912374,0.0,0.061422343365816374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22426016138068414,0.15632446431193087,0.0,0.0,0.1771394559780055
mentalhealth,Kanjiex,2018/03/17,"Help me identifying two types of insecurities. Greetings, just discovered this sub and I hope that this is the right place for getting help. I have two persons to whom I am pretty close to who have these distinct insecurities. I am trying to look for the correct terms or catergories to describe them, and if possible look for further study, analysis and solutions.

**1)** The first case is a F/30, who looks to be nice to, to please as well as avoid criticism, rejection or disappointment from people around her. This is to the point that she neglects her own needs and puts other's wants before hers, which results in a lot of stress, anxieties, negative reactions, and even uncontrollable rages for herself, since others most of the time fail to follow the expectations that she has for them. These insecurities are becoming more recognizable when she moved into a new living environment, whose conditions make her feel more unsafe. I believe these are symptoms of a people pleaser, in combination with signs of an inflated ego. Another piece of information which might be related is that her father is very hot-tempered and easily get uncontrollably enraged too.

**2)** The second case is a M/20. I believe this guy's insecurities, mainly father issue, came mostly from his upbringing. He got punished by his dad for mistakes with various forms of violence until adolescence. His academic achievements were not appreciated by themselves and was only used as a basis for comparison with his friends' (which happends a lot in Asian culture). Even when he passed an extremely difficult exam, the only response he got from his dad was ""how are the grades of your friends?"". His current 20yo self seems to lack motivations and a clear goal for life; and only lives as a response to his dad's actions in the past. He wants success not for himself, but only in order to prove to his dad that he his not a failure that he is seen to be. He seems to be very reactive to how other people see him, which might be a clear sign of low self esteem. He also easily hold grudges and look for payback chances, as well as unconciously see violence as a solution for conflicts.

I hope I am clear enough for these two cases. I believe these insecurities have severely negative impact on their lifes and people who truly care for them as well, and would like to look for possible help that I could offer (the first case is actually my ex-gf, whose insecurities contributed to our breakup).

This has been long, thank you very much.",6.8137311827956974,8.358963944444447,6.958401433691758,71.0291290322581,65.1111111111111,10.250896057347669,33.62724014336918,10.384295024167834,3.761007885304658,2005,86,333,50,31,644,236,450,0.14300000000000002,0.716,0.142,0.3885,1,1,0,0,0,0,65.0,1,2,4,7,13,32,3,10,25,0,32,3,0,6,6,65,58,30,0,11,8,6,1,1,2,3,3,0,0,4,30,19,0,4,6,0,0,6,5,20,3,6,8,9,39,12,66,41,15,32,0,5,8,0,59,14,0,13,12,245,69,9,0.0,0.0,0.08028292955362606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579069690649132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862664915220939,0.06293575815239802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323708283649817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085993328431667,0.07000508021229136,0.2780678484468255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940941158117472,0.08387899277342951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656853092078922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500613677394041,0.0,0.1086761396816336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041597809396093366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995637979715414,0.0,0.0,0.12712205125182266,0.0,0.0859645848489183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315964841388324,0.0,0.0,0.08145950102109095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654300509595859,0.0,0.0,0.16342387476620598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085867732441987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621842161158805,0.040192604493230415,0.0,0.14529052633709064,0.07280570558175163,0.3454272886764799,0.0,0.0,0.13988476449118448,0.0,0.0,0.0549153693867618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745493663414803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743920287391546,0.06047737157778101,0.06100161331067355,0.0,0.07945616324470653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250277915445601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853531692359646,0.2281405828181026,0.07183434391184675,0.08595386580658007,0.09030694167167737,0.07777104177451084,0.18549245726272612,0.0,0.08369741299915967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827033284773424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025749789573317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111589638530652,0.1497896876245141,0.17164955933212936,0.09294084594921882,0.0,0.06805398140625059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423915852256366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550926070704104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574248070227185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047971866665878035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585542674096658,0.0,0.2410953363158784,0.0,0.0,0.07105422556370129,0.0,0.20364226446793315,0.09704908126813053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219098326445074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058441721357351074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asuglyasiseem,2018/03/17,"Sister's attempt to help backfired? Recently, my sister asked her church to pray for me. I believe she told them I was suicidal. Afterwards a man from her church approached her and said he'd like to talk to me to see if he could help, as he'd struggled with a bout of depression & suicidal thoughts following his divorce. I was extremely uncomfortable with the situation (for fear that the man might be an opportunist) but ultimately agreed because I knew that if I said no, my sister and her husband would hold the notion that I'd refused volunteered help against me. So I've spoken with the man a couple times on the phone, and it has not helped. I think I may actually feel worse than before. Without going into detail, he told me several unflattering things about himself and things he did during his marriage. He also brought up the subject of sex a lot (including asking how many guys I'd had sex with). He also mentioned that I was attractive (I don't have any social media accounts, though, my sister has pictures of me on her Facebook) and that I should date. 
Last Sunday, she'd gotten out of church, my sister called me asking how things were going with this guy. I told her that I was really uncomfortable with it and just had a bad feeling about him. Later, my mom told me that she had also spoken to my sister and that the man had said I was living in the past and that I needed professional help, which I agree with. Anyway, I saw my sister and her family that day, and I thought they acted kind of strange (her husband especially). And my sister hasn't checked on me at all. It makes me feel like she's not really concerned. The man has texted me a few times and attempted to call me once, but I haven't responded. I just feel so anxious and uneasy about it all. I welcome any insight/advice on this situation. Thanks in advance!
",6.786292134831463,6.650984932584276,7.096382022471911,75.88878651685393,64.84269662921349,10.041348314606743,32.68764044943821,9.642632912329526,2.9468622471910093,1460,53,272,26,20,475,175,356,0.113,0.787,0.099,-0.7421,0,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,0,0,2,3,14,10,0,2,16,0,27,2,0,3,2,53,55,26,2,6,9,11,4,2,0,4,0,3,0,7,20,22,0,2,8,0,2,7,7,4,0,0,24,9,59,6,39,22,4,27,4,1,2,2,69,10,0,5,12,193,79,1,0.0,0.0,0.09041063947578584,0.0,0.0,0.09053410883660304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222706250984646,0.0,0.1003835764383568,0.0,0.1260070154133504,0.0,0.0,0.1046653549192744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598388445859739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735683029126095,0.05647708358655091,0.0,0.0788362370897199,0.10438205703883206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920700438426108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397152598527756,0.1025127464995626,0.0,0.05975000206732727,0.0,0.07979719486089258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733986012623378,0.10425424581966647,0.18738153025571996,0.06618742475123494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530746991941503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347127140585576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104984828640215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964781612623605,0.0,0.07552011478237436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905258214824618,0.0,0.08180947972965802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078765629760184,0.0,0.0,0.061842955792859235,0.09393006915249114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828440441056174,0.0,0.1085076851118774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869698077956482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866661187245426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884425651128368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870477956983505,0.0,0.09147827373068758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643870944730004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382809834884152,0.0,0.0,0.1046653549192744,0.0,0.0,0.20827944500749093,0.0,0.0944425048774312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685533010637876,0.0,0.2026827541297539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446658734717995,0.0,0.08529741196353084,0.0,0.0,0.1846527367004183,0.05936480597405579,0.0910257426908935,0.1471036040006936,0.10804705723181413,0.0,0.0,0.3541147987721671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930892736794907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441576358655776,0.06581415787093878,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sue_Preem,2018/03/17,"My girlfriend’s anxiety is getting the best of her. What can I do to help her? Title says it all. I don’t have anxiety so I can’t relate to her, hence why I’m on reddit looking for help. She says her anxiety is why she’s in bed most of the day. It’s even stopped her during foreplay once. I care about her and want to help her, but neither of us are pro-pharmaceuticals. It really concerns me when she says she feels like she can’t move or that she has tunnel vision because of her anxiety. So how do I help motivate her and help her persevere  without adding to her already fragile state of mind? ",1.1536662531017363,3.3364176048387115,3.1654838709677438,89.3566873449132,82.62903225806451,6.396029776674937,24.054590570719604,7.61054688173877,1.213863027295286,469,18,100,8,13,158,74,124,0.058,0.728,0.215,0.966,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,2,1,13,17,8,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,6,25,3,14,17,4,7,0,0,1,1,27,2,0,2,4,70,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678456880143869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654231030267358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271850288589806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961914375497238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507567653683382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980916574883329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046034964954503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690612656704282,0.10865998283007863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946576200350458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5097457703419793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430818048091176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277253546200377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357723473267348,0.0,0.0,0.16165780123446155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198110732149126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743889687795933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628671142388691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271620740617513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295708823799164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971228335791906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27449245829193986,0.0,0.0,0.14661858428315752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rustynails77777,2018/03/17,"Help identifying my personality. 39m.  Married. Kids. House. 
An optimist.  Mild depression since 12. Been a drinker at times heavy for the past 10 years. 

Just quit smoking.  Will slow down drinking in a big way as well.  Like few times a month level. 

I figured out my biggest issue is, I like fooling or cheating authority.  Including boss at work. My coworkers. Dmv. Basically any rules.  I lost my license for a number of years trying to push the limits.  Foolish I know. 

I don’t like hurting people physically. I have no desire to see them in pain.  But I want to be ahead of them as much as I can.  Makes me feel superior.  

Perfect occupation for me would be a Con man.  Where lots of money would be involved.  But in real life I’m a 9-5 person who’s just trying to do his best for the family without killing himself. 

I generally don’t like people and avoid interaction at all cost unless I have a few drinks in me.  But that’s normal.  Drinking and talking.  Otherwise I’m an introvert on a high scale. Needless to say I have no friends since I realized I can drink alone at home and not hear other people’s bullshit conversation.  Their fake smiles and fake lives. 

I hate how politicians of the world make life so difficult for the rest of us. I hate that kindness is taken for weakness.  This aspect drives me insane. 

Thanks in advance. ",1.3151258680555529,3.994283941406252,3.1317708333333343,85.27503472222223,90.4453125,5.813194444444445,23.90798611111111,7.279313950308263,1.4250715277777783,1043,43,196,19,36,346,164,256,0.188,0.635,0.177,-0.6514,0,2,5,0,0,0,37.0,1,0,3,8,7,25,4,1,15,0,17,8,0,4,2,34,31,14,1,5,9,0,1,4,1,3,4,2,1,4,5,5,4,2,4,4,2,3,6,14,1,0,3,4,29,11,34,22,7,30,0,3,1,0,19,18,0,2,12,124,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900791935204832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813999218481754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058671448370152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896833382405272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502563773419718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832311146009234,0.0,0.05809990523833086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877605862734167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22689169025343,0.0,0.0,0.1295073665251622,0.0,0.07701904197890162,0.12140445410354167,0.11526004539931332,0.0,0.0,0.13258604872906524,0.12300920529150053,0.0,0.0,0.1199319673400476,0.0,0.0,0.12712641852770767,0.11965687374335958,0.06314930983137056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232295355475587,0.2245489891164996,0.0,0.10146406667516664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543342755026252,0.09768893698026462,0.0,0.0,0.15340123933537894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917168399389066,0.0,0.08446910086718151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258344264576332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226804149107764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969073942513326,0.2389839711846852,0.20066290195213615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222166310933125,0.0,0.13078813707556305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137783031718194,0.0,0.0,0.09156517213068126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19010279282474046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235705701386167,0.0,0.105789968635497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400517709257606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602720661542632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821772027540286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677745115308283,0.0912070015554473,0.0,0.0,0.10331425648991488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076524372351093,0.0,0.08365290643083932,0.0,0.0,0.16325179244395102,0.0,0.0,0.14799134007970458
mentalhealth,numbtothecore,2018/03/17,"I'm afraid to take risks due to my past failures I'm 31 years old. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at a young age. I've taken medication for it all my life. I have a family doctor, a worker and a life coach, all of whom I see once a month each. They've been helping me to develop life strategies and ways to manage my money better.

But theres one thing that I still struggle with: I am afraid to take risks. Here are a few reasons why:

1)  Ten years ago I graduated from college with a degree in journalism. Sadly, with the recession at its peak, job opportunities were few and far between. After a year it felt like a lost cause and I gave up, leaving me with a $30,000 student loan and a piece of paper to show for all my work. 

2) After graduation I began dating this girl. Eight months into the relationship we moved in together. It was hell. She was bossy, domineering, and controlling. After a year and a half I'd had enough and ended it. I didn't have another serious relationship until four years later.  After a year together she started talking about us moving in together. We broke up shortly after,but before that I was really worried the past was gonna repeat itself.  We're still friends though and we talk once a month or so.

3) Since finishing college I've been steadily employed in the fast food industry. I've worked at the same location for six years and am currently a supervisor. I hate it there, but I doubt I'll ever get anything better, and even if I did I'll probably hate it too, so it really makes no difference. 

So yeah, because of how things have turned out in these areas, I tend to play it safe these days. No matter what I just can't see myself ever taking a leap of faith in anything anymore.  Obviously I'll have to at some point, but right now I'm just too afraid of getting burned again. 

What can I do?",2.929619565217393,4.8581916358695665,4.57489130434783,82.7456521739131,75.57608695652173,7.752173913043477,24.81521739130435,8.567472430010655,1.7582891304347823,1454,49,286,29,32,489,210,368,0.105,0.813,0.08199999999999999,-0.7196,3,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,4,0,0,8,20,22,3,7,22,1,21,7,0,5,6,46,43,22,0,1,7,0,1,1,1,1,6,0,0,1,20,22,1,2,2,3,2,2,4,14,0,6,16,3,29,8,43,26,10,60,2,3,2,0,15,19,1,4,39,188,49,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202890600570162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703363209632243,0.0,0.0,0.09177232956412844,0.0,0.0,0.15230094750954054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564099981058323,0.0,0.07874259261434423,0.0,0.0,0.16368378885740384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506149808520248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378866936809296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059679028898086316,0.0,0.0,0.09392360961895424,0.0,0.09668198676882872,0.10605598644751402,0.09471604737560972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196075406740044,0.09561596926124748,0.0,0.061120142766067025,0.16741092436376626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723611474615434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885050710497483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189670638200548,0.0,0.07149423915854992,0.0,0.09669404368214836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18272323661224574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202593235318622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918291851086298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798384594245628,0.0,0.0,0.1960859083260489,0.045209145852306606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010156072077881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061769496539035226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322179086649407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22158763716862426,0.19670542507898828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710253461640272,0.1970988243507473,0.06270580156323077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667501980141667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747784362324368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977107098021172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856377782726392,0.09514395705215706,0.0,0.19870127707509508,0.0,0.0790265151919006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474808054361749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654797219581884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654985153136724,0.0,0.14780112623133448,0.0,0.0,0.09674028191394886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087300396264603,0.14875626659314733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295559975866988,0.0,0.09091761908892264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065422184896218,0.0,0.0,0.11131121275388284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345195633782152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835006960335024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473679708579134,0.09397631814237442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171377901460382
mentalhealth,elenalavonne,2018/03/17,Am I annoying? I struggle with a lot of mental health issues and I’m beginning to feel like I’m annoying to my boyfriend because my mood swings are so bad. He always tells me I’m wrong and that he loves me but I can’t stop feeling annoying and like a burden. Any advice?,0.3245864661654139,2.640900456140354,2.697994987468676,90.22263157894741,88.2982456140351,6.064160401002509,22.177944862155385,7.447530270364453,1.0831523809523813,214,8,45,4,7,73,40,57,0.315,0.547,0.138,-0.8911,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,11,3,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,10,5,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,7,3,4,10,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25941368568134665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22089185856555274,0.0,0.0,0.18052833738651503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165591196904968,0.16182771993882236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684586727416611,0.18965143658135647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28218162402356645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770811470288243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25938993934850096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256926431780445,0.23959655392982265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675307784503008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219443570333438,0.0,0.2775263211142463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320320106877903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902491824270681,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gentman05498,2018/03/18,"Anxiety? Panic Attack? So last night was the most difficult night of my life. It started when I was studying for my exams and taken 40 mg of vyvanse and half a caffeine pill. I’ve taken amphetamines/vyvanse before and things have gone smoothly. It is about 5 pm and everything is cool, and once it’s about 11:30, I don’t feel the vyvanse much and decide to take another 10 mg of adderall and another half a caffeine pill. Fyi, I am not prescribed anything. Everything seems fine until the end of the night, it’s about 6 am and I’ve smoked about 2.5 cigarettes so far. I knew I’d have trouble falling asleep, thus I decided to take 5 mg of melatonin. I’ve taken melatonin as well countless times in the past and never really had issues. Along with the melatonin I took three pulls off a oil (THC Oil) pen. I usually take this combo of the melatonin and THC after a day of amphetamine use in order to sleep and relax. However, by 7 am I couldn’t sleep at all. I don’t know what caused any of this and that is what I’m trying to figure out cause now I’m just extremely worried. I started feeling really weak all around my body, assuming it was due to the melatonin and being high, my chest felt heavy, shortage of breath, weakness in the arms, legs, and hands. I started having some type of tongue spasm or just an odd feeling around my jaw area as my tongue would feel weak or droopy or if I slept on my side, my teeth would close really tightly. My feet started to sweat and my hands/feet and whole body got really cold. My mind was literally racing, as I was having a different thought every second, it’s unexplainable. I just felt this entire feeling of dread and weakness. I was really sleepy but my mind kept racing and I would forget my previous thought quite instantly, and random things would pop into my head. Everyone I closed my eyes, I would somehow forget how to breathe and shoot back awake. I wasn’t able to sleep until 11:30 am. Mind you, I had only eaten half a sandwich for the entire day before I taken the initial vyvanse. Other than that I only drank water, Gatorade, and some Snapple throughout the night. 

Can someone please diagnose what I felt last night. I don’t want this to happen again and was the scariest thing I experienced. I literally felt like dying. It is the evening now as I’m writing this, I still feel extremely weak or limp and still having this some sort of disassociation type of state where it’s difficult concentrating on anything and my heart feeling like it’s racing slightly. ",5.1094662309368175,6.338320137860084,5.620919874122489,80.22276688453162,68.81481481481481,8.351391914790609,29.520455095618487,8.671277953709913,2.274400338900993,2001,74,370,32,34,644,233,486,0.092,0.853,0.054000000000000006,-0.9421,2,0,2,1,0,0,56.0,0,1,0,1,23,17,1,2,21,1,34,33,20,5,3,92,74,40,1,8,10,0,15,2,0,5,9,0,0,0,24,32,4,2,20,1,0,4,7,11,1,5,28,21,44,6,50,39,8,53,0,0,1,0,2,18,0,14,31,235,68,4,0.07476490446088849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084269883122157,0.15679504239870032,0.057194947272037125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305029197719633,0.13311323210084264,0.0,0.08505587223631343,0.0,0.057489596568288816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723885400160778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609390862966855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360830364421865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643435646209672,0.0,0.0,0.07588480423892661,0.07759416697427908,0.07811341226287881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621951395301093,0.0,0.0,0.0493815142718094,0.0,0.06299265659218689,0.07144107019197117,0.1343877505211545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646236749061566,0.053412062685593016,0.2871441319405903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597963240013754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611435809987493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673036165233076,0.0,0.0,0.0885967717651327,0.0,0.07899322644102519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803513572516976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04108883622053525,0.12188675174898983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280866308163229,0.07305271159678768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264737212810671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496080733891635,0.0,0.05766330343039555,0.0,0.0,0.3508089906150867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962218318832953,0.0,0.11372415775626188,0.0,0.08772050638627955,0.0,0.0,0.07137156113319458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206941361861889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952167888815237,0.0,0.0,0.2394815613121899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806316104775932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445669634223545,0.0,0.06334806092842547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116759367610731,0.0,0.11941469856045955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686417106422714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901144114275308,0.0,0.0,0.11870996564215315,0.04359601703457903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306655981364487,0.05076046243172161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457287246354529,0.08234297955752744,0.0,0.04409827774291199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722262801440265,0.0,0.0,0.08347234582191665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592738965485869,0.0,0.2655542150955577,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saintjudes,2018/03/18,"Any weird/bad/funny therapy experiences? since i weirdly like therapy stories, i'd love to hear the good, bad, and ugly that you guys have seen.

for instance: i've had an awful driving phobia since i was in a pretty bad wreck when i was 16. when i was about 18, my mom asks me if i want to go to a therapist to see if i can work out what's wrong. i think why the hell not, nothing else has worked. we're walking up to this really nice university building when she drops the bomb on me: ""i was afraid you would say no if i told you before, but he's a hypnotist."" we found out that i'm apparently not susceptible at all to hypnotism and it in fact *freaks me out* like no other. cue my mom losing like $200, me having a panic attack, and my driving anxiety still being a mess four years later.",3.5398181818181804,4.035612557575757,5.4212121212121245,82.91181818181822,71.9090909090909,8.666666666666668,25.90909090909091,8.841846274778883,1.7020909090909089,612,18,133,11,11,212,111,165,0.226,0.659,0.115,-0.9581,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,3,0,3,5,17,2,2,9,1,11,1,0,0,2,19,22,10,0,5,6,2,0,3,0,1,0,2,0,1,6,7,0,0,2,0,0,4,4,11,0,1,8,4,21,6,16,12,1,19,1,1,2,1,14,8,1,3,9,80,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842738771603997,0.0,0.11072483129251703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531129525264946,0.1646613477762238,0.0,0.0,0.3625527056212686,0.0,0.0,0.1231621088500344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209107445648783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158237772736534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869868862094247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225842931960517,0.1214000881970956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331422664190538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313121387196874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121362870187445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192576093027436,0.0,0.0,0.1306324716135081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390328056780617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888083924700304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981986580593664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472514545945605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272341959802756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151021504072701,0.0,0.0,0.11533813155849812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23945896041308196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155886401036866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310429997385449,0.16805297153914944,0.0,0.09274281682060694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383041828282314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537072934345898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060430794170266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074322698592834,0.0,0.0,0.10281833297483567,0.15824922129453256,0.0,0.09320708001984952
mentalhealth,coffee_talks,2018/03/18,"I [21F] have a good life and take care of myself, but I am always melancholic and bored. I don't know what else I could be doing to find internal happiness. Am I just missing something? Hi Reddit, I'm a 21-year-old female from the U.S. and am hoping for some insight into this negative cycle. I grew up in a chaotic family. As a child, I had feelings of depression and a general melancholy ""neutral"" mood most of the time. This has continued up until now but seems to have gotten worse. I recognize that I may have clinical depression and am planning to see a psychiatrist. Before I do that, I want to see if there's anything I'm doing wrong (or if my thoughts can be changed). No matter what I do or experience, I am always feeling bored and anticipating something else. I could be sitting at the pool with friends and I'll probably be the only one ready to go back inside even though I know I'll be even more bored at home. Today I went shopping with a friend and after a couple of hours, I was ready to leave even though I wasn't looking forward to doing anything else. Even when I'm having what others would consider a good time, I feel bored and discontent. This same principle has applied to bigger circumstances like life goals, jobs, relationships, etc. Each time I achieve something new, I am surprised at how little it affects my happiness. It's like my brain is waiting for some big ""moment"" when suddenly I am going to find happiness externally. I know this isn't the case and want to find happiness internally, but it seems like I am incapable of this. I meditate, exercise, eat well and spend time with loved ones. I keep my house clean and do my best to keep myself put together. Am I just depressed? Or is there something I'm just not seeing that I could change to find happiness?

**TL;DR** I've always experienced extreme melancholy and boredom, even when doing things others would consider enjoyable. I take care of myself, exercise, meditate, eat well, and spend time with others including my loving fiance. I'm not sure what more I could do to find internal happiness. I keep waiting for a moment when I will, but it hasn't come yet, and I'm beginning to worry it won't. Am I just depressed? Or is there something I'm just missing?",4.571407329105004,6.254718532558143,5.545306553911207,78.51389358703314,70.65116279069767,8.840028188865398,30.23960535588443,9.339509955726095,2.8420155038759694,1779,74,322,39,33,585,193,430,0.158,0.627,0.215,0.9842,1,0,5,0,0,0,65.0,0,0,0,4,25,37,0,0,15,0,48,10,1,2,1,78,90,34,0,11,17,0,3,3,2,5,5,0,2,1,21,22,2,5,15,4,3,7,9,12,2,2,6,8,42,24,38,70,9,40,0,7,4,2,7,11,0,13,26,229,63,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661074627202945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951853247248243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051167503525801135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05662324054590204,0.0,0.06983283314663949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742840589408516,0.0,0.0,0.1356901633468586,0.0,0.1407874624373509,0.0573209516492493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251686605209566,0.07362862711800737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22925375062507775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618032000754474,0.16676455700553658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421309863612552,0.21975530847662506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509187854909916,0.06273087214379558,0.0,0.10093850734010104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040957437393046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282200184461213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563590577948735,0.11162631852379082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250179304884751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674811195666362,0.06609227033072895,0.06553150725976692,0.07678175376210662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603371650469263,0.17743958011333058,0.0,0.0,0.10971097195061852,0.0,0.0,0.07045948951141877,0.0,0.0,0.09400265841881844,0.09752872957869567,0.06669362479859224,0.0,0.0,0.05587940874728943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011541426728865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642676992957654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982574477995729,0.0,0.09018259540749783,0.05060899354242501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717446703755811,0.0,0.0,0.06689415179753037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144234038435424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15907860367924948,0.12115660017727126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25614048214491064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271604390233318,0.0,0.10006419525123017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04420825039187592,0.0,0.1307564316746909,0.052827754481869736,0.19400895887988887,0.0,0.06307503754619241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849763841052361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966039983790225,0.06168608068689446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757770465922575,0.06781306021496812,0.09454055723666906,0.07275438693951446,0.0,0.0428515471342841
mentalhealth,NotTheMentalOne,2018/03/18,"I feel like I have a problem. I try to convince myself that I am normal and these depressing thoughts I have are just normal but now I don't know anymore. I only get these thoughts when I am alone and just ""thinking really deeply"". To keep these thoughts out of my head I sink many hours into video games or try to accept more hours at work. I try to play this off by saying I'm just an attention hoard and just want everyone else's approval to live life. I also feel like I don't belong anywhere, neither in my group of friends nor family. I feel they wouldn't care or even laugh at what I perceive as a problem inside my head. Just downplaying it saying ""you're fine don't worry"". Maybe these are just the hormones of a teenager. Idk. Can anyone help me? And don't worry this is just a throwaway account that I made. Don't want anyone to figure out who I am, especially my friends.

P.S. Sorry for the terrible grammar and punctuation. I don't do so hot when it comes to spell checking myself.",3.283200000000001,4.8812295200000015,4.212,87.12850000000002,73.8,6.8000000000000025,26.0,7.413659706084162,1.2534000000000003,784,27,158,9,16,253,115,200,0.097,0.7020000000000001,0.201,0.9711,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,13,14,0,0,7,0,17,3,2,1,0,40,33,14,0,7,10,0,4,2,2,1,1,2,0,0,12,9,0,1,12,3,2,1,9,4,0,0,4,6,25,10,20,28,2,13,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,2,7,105,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319243769525868,0.0,0.10284262549888293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753819674295394,0.17984240952007488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111786691182153,0.0,0.0,0.11077886155082482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107643399568167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743010621517314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849401211681023,0.0,0.0,0.1228843069713056,0.0,0.0,0.12123411074371147,0.0,0.19507444674328625,0.18374596823340028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987145010505441,0.0,0.06718901016012765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639646155906541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619891857597461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25329327448602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430698033586333,0.0,0.0,0.070676057198614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083508894015496,0.12565645801250588,0.0,0.11355753846062938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216859107685474,0.0,0.1303818026424476,0.12919755780893222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252004459060488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780728560071476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246108660399604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238545591541817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045382532106204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395892385540007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240269049361451,0.0,0.3062858343105329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619360641170567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170507061286706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362347134947284,0.26120226454631584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,orangedluv,2018/03/18,"Diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago. I even got rushed to the ER once cos of my panic attack/chest pains but parents found it funny that it was just from anxiety. I feel my anxiety is coming back again and it's driving me nuts. What should I do when my family dont think its a big deal? I talk to my friends about my burdens but my thoughts are draining me physically. I just dont really know what to do. I feel that it makes me blue most of the time, and I feel like I am going to explode and my body  wont take it any longer",1.925438596491226,3.1133459298245647,3.737719298245616,90.825701754386,76.54385964912281,7.522807017543862,23.192982456140356,8.167268648758528,1.0139192982456136,412,12,97,7,9,139,74,114,0.135,0.768,0.097,-0.1154,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,10,3,1,2,0,20,22,6,0,1,4,1,3,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,7,0,0,4,3,3,1,0,4,4,18,2,9,16,2,11,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,7,64,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151707938218798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163831048283957,0.0,0.3927717664701394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469986295595035,0.0,0.1315983985460785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901012851773928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742453550376333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644091220059474,0.0,0.17370653662464303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011566292919347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303833360930235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613383836356133,0.0,0.2596051204821977,0.122264589282993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18764945959131846,0.13222465281337975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726450761999313,0.0,0.13687868670597045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405571385983877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361182222044547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423927760415167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822617033654119,0.0,0.0,0.182108212352542,0.20079942892577246,0.19003404169868032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963858447871784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867823266210274,0.13755825599090415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966152025951237,0.0,0.13586842057076162,0.0997948562384376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021047714884176
mentalhealth,llamalord102,2018/03/18,"Dealing with Father getting Ill Hello All,
I am a college senior and at a pretty big transitional time in my life. Ending college, applying to post-grad programs, having to balance a relationship with school, hopefully a career in medicine which comes with its own stressors, and now a health scare in the family. Within the past 6 months, my dad has developed a bad cough and breathing (not even a smoker or anything), and within the past week went in for a lung biopsy. My family and I have been as supportive as we could be. I thankfully go to school close enough and was able to take a few days off and spend them with him pre and post-op. The biopsy surgery in itself is a stressful venture since anytime you're put under and having your vital chest area cut open anything could happen. 

The operation went well and he felt little pain the following days, and things seemed good for the situation. I returned to school, but the next few days I felt extremely fidgity and my usual axiety and ADHD were magnified. I have been trying to be so much for my family, my sisters, my mom, and importantly my dad that I hadn't stopped to focus on myself. Things boiled over when I completely broke down to my girlfriend and basically cried myself to sleep overcome with a feeling of dread, overstressed and uncertain of what could come of the biopsy.

A few days later, I received an acceptance letter from my #1 choice for a grad program. I was elated, and for a few hours was filled with this hopeful good feels that is usual for me. I called my parents, and personally, there really is no better feeling than hearing how proud they were. I checked in with my dad, and he seemed well, no update from the doctor yet on the biopsy. 

Beginning to celebrate with my friends over some beers, I received a facetime call from my parents. They didn't want to put a damper on my initial excitement but received word that morning that the biopsy results were in and in some f'ed up realist irony, it's the worst option the doctor predicted. While not cancer or something that will kill him in months, the results show that what he has will most likely progress... and with something so vital as someone breathing/oxygen into your other vital regions, there will likely be other co-morbidities that will arise. This also extremely jeopardizes the financial stability of my family, seeing that he will need to take expensive medicine, and will most likely retire earlier than expected. While financials take a back seat to my dad's well-being, this stress falls a majority on me. Seeing that if things do turn bad, my mom has little experience with the financial sides of life and I feel responsible to help her. 

These past three days I have been trying my best to be realistic, optimistic. Having a supportive and hopeful supporting cast shows to drastically improve health outcomes, and I know I need to play that role. 

I'm afraid that this will break me down and take unforeseen tolls on my own mental health. Seeing that in the past three days I have had uncontrolled and seeming random triggered episodes, I know I need to find a healthy way to cope. Honestly, any suggestions are appreciated, and frankly, posting this here is probably a good start for me. I'm not usually the one to journal or write because of time but also because it's hard to reel in my own scattered thoughts. 
",9.717768075639599,8.35469216612903,8.944382647385991,69.01467741935487,59.596774193548384,12.100111234705233,38.79866518353728,10.996428447227288,4.254588431590657,2693,108,459,55,29,851,303,620,0.09,0.73,0.18,0.9965,2,0,4,0,0,0,70.0,1,2,3,4,15,40,2,7,41,0,43,17,4,4,1,94,87,46,1,12,10,10,7,3,2,7,11,1,0,1,30,44,2,1,14,4,3,13,7,14,2,3,17,11,56,26,79,56,17,84,0,1,3,0,40,34,0,17,37,325,86,12,0.061892719160808525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438302085313371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989911703033501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208917142112495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186486853580068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759168062510752,0.10335567047733736,0.07545845426595807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495259028194406,0.05473908043926226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639877256807033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663019440230118,0.06489333848184815,0.0,0.0,0.1482488999805331,0.0,0.06798624573995382,0.2394941016109041,0.06380867575461517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669964136031078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481857844415471,0.06395172385982692,0.0,0.04087955728157747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060542955620942834,0.23338778925546405,0.0,0.12517927390334985,0.0,0.11885343293771065,0.0,0.056568824031830375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047818161292112575,0.0,0.03233639123374461,0.0,0.03517505861736027,0.1557380290557452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473152715005901,0.0,0.055443719399105376,0.0,0.0,0.19736719870173386,0.06975759272004511,0.0,0.04148538501096316,0.0,0.0,0.18442030612939156,0.060951861034535613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847512358218515,0.0,0.06802923963267843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743331585688174,0.09071296877990664,0.1240655287997327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237330359118909,0.0,0.0,0.14497600928652368,0.09880435588634637,0.0,0.0454982700507343,0.137678001053828,0.0,0.0,0.06582360898510979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041940108299525686,0.0,0.06585821694826166,0.0,0.13744908023717686,0.0,0.2363344149845675,0.0,0.054042335057750614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782834868478278,0.06296714622073081,0.06673081944180717,0.0,0.0,0.12443855528070465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039650060748064465,0.0,0.0,0.06644961767517019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196540915212548,0.18791620825593847,0.14796145168140398,0.1690344209881087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05119829687153294,0.0695700095400265,0.061937417342385365,0.0,0.052441500095487883,0.09529607802932792,0.0,0.0,0.04380798518209754,0.0,0.0,0.05174508459094438,0.1417958013700728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21070537272534054,0.0,0.0,0.18614248865995986,0.0,0.0,0.056982500254204,0.0,0.0,0.1233563173108904,0.0,0.0,0.04913590552986378,0.07218028454146062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840421871308035,0.06732150550524688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449825805439192,0.0,0.03650592934610366,0.049127559600907006,0.049646605999532,0.0,0.16694696262696782,0.11475034147737732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brushman0,2018/03/18,"grew up with mentally unstable people I have a terrible childhood but that's not all. The mental condition must be hereditary because I know I""m not normal. I always had intense outburst, emotional unstable, mood swings, etc. 

I can't let go of the past, I haven't talked to my family members for years and I don't ever to. Life's really difficult right now, my mental illness is taking a toll in my life. I can't ever form a relationship, can't keep a stable job, I'm suffering from depression and I don't see the point of keep going on. Life has been a suffering since birth, I'm just very angry all the time. All the injustice I faced, the learning disabilities, lack of skillsets, the emotional problems.  ",3.734681372549023,5.9294074191176485,5.402058823529411,76.51843137254905,74.07352941176471,9.533333333333337,28.98039215686275,9.928628108626363,3.323095098039216,563,24,100,17,12,191,88,136,0.314,0.65,0.036000000000000004,-0.9924,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,12,0,14,5,1,0,6,20,23,3,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,3,8,6,0,0,2,1,12,0,11,18,6,16,0,3,1,0,2,5,0,0,8,65,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673324001766992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284611667311732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118346758978558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426541165087363,0.0,0.0,0.1698647301189196,0.0,0.2755443137344408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435833143024601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731213621132719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114312215712733,0.27075836963452504,0.0,0.0,0.08370501067855296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574621128476715,0.3227409277383438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604747668515034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923042380125004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539611817511888,0.1055918421142672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439811797213419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573908663963506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757300761385382,0.0,0.0,0.16352280246313522,0.0,0.13007100330000668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137050636735155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599152980380476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451736845174047,0.12242015731016948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881256825663089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567082729940685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808196427470108
mentalhealth,Dial_H_For_Hornets,2018/03/18,"Please help me (desparate) I don't really know about reddit yet or if this is the right place to post or if anyone will even pay attention to this but I really need someone to help me. Every time I wake up it's to a panic attack so severe that I can't get out of bed, I haven't been able to eat solid foods in almost a week because I freak out and throw them up, the hospital doesn't help, my parents had to bring me back home because I can't take care of myself anymore, and I'm positive I'm going to die and there's nothing I can do about it. This just started on Tuesday and I have no way to cope with it, I used to smoke weed for my anxiety but my therapist said to stop and now I don't have any coping mechanisms to deal with it, ive tried deep breathing and mindfulness meditation and they just give  me more anxiety now because I associate them with having a panic attack, all I can do is cry alone and be afraid. I don't feel comfortable with any of my friends or my parents anymore and I don't know why because they're all great people, but I'm too scared to use them as a resource, and I don't know where else to turn. This can't be normal. The only way I can get through the day is to take an Ativan but I know they're addictive and that terrifies me too, whenever I need one I just freak out over the pill for a while and usually can't take it unless prompted on the phone by my therapist, who probably hates me now because of all the times I've had to call him this week. And even when I take it, I'm still useless until the afternoon because even mornings freak me out. I had just moved to Boston and had a nice apartment and was about to start my dream job, and now I'm not sure I'll be able to even start, these panic attacks are literally ruining my life, all I wanted was to help people and now I can't even help myself. I'm so scared, I just want to feel normal again but I have no idea what to do, or what my anxiety will even let me do. I didn't realize it could get this bad and even through all of this I still find myself hating myself because I'm not strong enough to deal with it, and I can't convince myself otherwise. I don't know how to fix myself",6.938607193950544,4.429523208154507,7.548405885959536,80.46788984263235,65.84549356223175,11.022113222971592,32.92008992438177,9.362217197678863,2.549324872266503,1709,50,387,25,21,572,197,466,0.225,0.6920000000000001,0.083,-0.9973,3,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,4,1,33,25,5,6,15,0,45,7,2,3,6,77,83,38,1,9,19,2,2,0,1,2,3,1,2,0,21,28,2,1,11,1,1,4,19,17,0,1,9,3,59,8,54,67,7,47,0,2,0,0,20,15,0,7,25,266,80,2,0.14090345509589974,0.0,0.0,0.07680278209282412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054722840831221,0.07296674261033967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581918125056944,0.0,0.16168613621797034,0.0,0.13973836556730054,0.0492614859857833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24044703248222846,0.0,0.054173029758761024,0.058824249731912526,0.30062703442755684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193909080181249,0.0,0.07183023159664134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056249971737792295,0.0,0.077387914553157,0.04543553594242618,0.14526527515392154,0.0,0.0,0.07311777030146258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208970557461658,0.058853378198085435,0.0,0.0,0.0727954674909034,0.0,0.32572891119547603,0.0,0.059358619017241224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124502057160698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439160263816676,0.0,0.08519050860128434,0.0,0.05443082994047969,0.0,0.11042435956794676,0.0675837166949664,0.04003934032619837,0.0,0.0,0.07767327833806177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391129905747906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23611153958355185,0.0,0.07066882701334284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953142498788511,0.0,0.0,0.06991246871144459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935921349425264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204166466835724,0.04976213867222835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113616129347962,0.0,0.0,0.07487903687666393,0.0,0.10447812657241297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805546935777024,0.06760033267585729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773991389153075,0.0535817134766457,0.0,0.2479797678144825,0.15645661208431194,0.0,0.0,0.09768471436395278,0.0,0.07360706040176787,0.07733484059093029,0.0,0.0,0.06747328033469929,0.0,0.07595887810569124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026636137360512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016539038424981,0.06701572618137418,0.0,0.14106893935747886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959039884221057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059693520126880686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959828611447176,0.0,0.11252568125199852,0.05890079884962044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639991945199485,0.0,0.2118837251615352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359977149919233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821619377819892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783209843220466,0.07663124884932751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169534491066065,0.07759262454896994,0.0,0.0831085084982007,0.11184260413914424,0.11302425251253898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357172604679326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HandoTrius,2018/03/18,"Looking for advice on dealing with shame/repressed truama I am a 30 year old male who has suffered from mental health issues my whole life. As a kid i was very shy and as early as 7 years old started showing signs of depression. At the age of 12 I started self medicating with pot and alcohol. I was able to keep my head above water and function at work and school until I was 23 and the anxiety and depression got so bad I completely isolated for 6 years and the drug use got worse. After a long struggle of trying to quit and failing I'm finally drug free for almost a year now! Over my life I have seen many psychologists and psychiatrists and was told the same story, that I have a chemical imbalance and with CBT and ssri medication I can live a normal life and the reason they haven't worked for me is they don't work when you use drugs and alcohol. Well after 9 months of sober depression I decided to get another opinion.  I found a therapist who thinks my issue has to do with shame, most likely from childhood trauma. I have no memory of a traumatic event but what I have learned about how trauma affects us as adults has really resonated with me.  I am wondering if anyone could share similar stories of recovery, let me know where to look for good info on shame and trauma and any advice would be helpful, thanks!",7.752960644007157,6.7519408255814,8.157751937984496,71.92371198568877,63.224806201550386,11.8144305307096,34.96243291592129,11.051253699011982,3.807346690518784,1055,39,195,25,13,350,157,258,0.16,0.773,0.067,-0.9549,0,0,5,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,2,5,7,18,0,3,13,0,22,13,1,5,0,44,40,26,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,11,0,0,4,4,21,3,1,8,1,1,0,3,12,1,0,9,3,25,7,36,27,3,26,0,5,3,0,14,6,0,5,21,128,29,6,0.0977460695105866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103265571049846,0.0,0.20892164365776306,0.09787856922436497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647067912274497,0.10249527651865203,0.07477547563284133,0.0,0.0,0.06834632451111954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161388518528875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024848941850544,0.0,0.0,0.0780422828341386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007719056499055,0.25256563932224857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400632249271609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707604135871568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717352002631708,0.0,0.0,0.051068286999039536,0.0,0.0,0.08198476557462317,0.15635292212199897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031566705959837,0.10389950107747813,0.0,0.0,0.06551712999422983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404300268585826,0.0,0.08688119774161511,0.0,0.0,0.0537186835224616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999519785733988,0.2071228187700824,0.04775379221819168,0.0,0.08631157016885682,0.08650219562744163,0.16416416082444468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909917263147837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969377632477057,0.0985050479457662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801998013145124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577039466475047,0.0,0.0,0.2051361145853136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039649767260268,0.0,0.0,0.06261863505963727,0.10049923904177123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892424075830976,0.0,0.0,0.1019704681251904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383703421917039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218541479947688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999144820674382,0.0,0.11349072047944038,0.0,0.06263173452908237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340055823315001,0.0,0.06636316497717379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757648646513075,0.1688424408706837,0.0,0.08065074414275758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788545532105159,0.0,0.0,0.10912999589518672,0.0,0.0,0.10600144281606373,0.21348090826132887,0.0,0.09961159551162742,0.06943600330858013,0.0,0.0,0.2517810561361791
mentalhealth,skatavinge,2018/03/18,"Dissociation and mood swings Hello Reddit, I'm a 15 year old Dutch girl (forgive me in advance for any grammar errors) and I'm writing this post because I don't feel so well lately. I find it hard to explain what the matter is, but I'll try to organize the mess in my head the best I can.

What I have experienced:

 – I have lost interest in things I used to enjoy, for example writing and drawing. My general motivation is low.

 – I have become bad at being alone and feel lonely quickly, even though I never had problems with this before.

 – I have mood swings that seem to depend on the day. 
For example, I feel perfectly fine one day, and the next I feel empty, depressed and lost for no apparant reason. Sometimes I'm on the verge of crying for hours without knowing why. I've tried to count good and bad days, and I found that every week has generally about one or two bad days. There are however exeptions with bad days lasting longer. The longest I can think of was three weeks.

 – When frustrated, I have the urge to physically hurt myself, but I never have this urge when I'm sad.

 – The last few weeks, I've had trouble sleeping. I lay awake for hours, and wake up long before my alarm, even though I'm still tired. I do manage to get an average of 8 hours, but there are more lows than I ever had before. When I really can't fall asleep I take Dormeasan, but I try to keep that to a minimum.

 – Often, even on good or neutral days, I experience dissociation, which feels like my brain has lost the connection between outside world me and inside world me, if that even makes sense. The dissociation varies between severe and very light, but rarely stops completely.

This dissociating is not entirely bad, but it scares me sometimes. Yesterday, I found a goodbye message from someone I don't personally know on tumblr. I had seen them post about wanting to die before, so of course such a post was concerning. I tried to message them and find someone who might know them. After a few hours, they finally responded and spoke to me, and I also managed to reach a friend of theirs. 

They are alive and safe right now, but the point I'm trying to make is that I felt nothing at all during the conversation. I comforted them soley on autopilot, using reason rather than emotion. Usually, I'm very emotional and sensitive, especially towards anything revolving around suicide, but now I felt nothing and that can't be normal or healthy. While I'm typing this post, I still feel nothing. 

I am hesitant of seeking professional help or talking to someone at school because:

1. I am still functioning fine in daily life

2. I have more good than bad days

3. I live a very privileged life and don't want to complain because I know others have it worse than me

4. I feel like I should somehow be able to fix things myself

I have talked about my problems with a friend, and they convinced me that this behaviour is not healthy and that I should at least try to get some advice here if I don't want to contact a professional(yet)

My main objective of posting this is trying to get my thoughts straight, but of course I'd like to hear from you guys. Does anyone recognize my problems? Does anyone have an idea of what further steps I could take to make myself feel better, or at least keep things from getting worse?
Something else that I should probably point out is that my family has a history of people with personality disorders, but I don't know to what of a degree this is relevant.

(edited because of typo)",6.6391831007573145,6.8348845217391325,6.878200899550228,76.21082996963061,65.10194902548726,9.959466420635836,33.29446815054011,9.725611199111238,3.0781769038557645,2764,108,513,52,39,893,307,667,0.158,0.691,0.151,-0.8824,1,3,1,0,0,3,78.0,0,1,8,8,31,47,1,2,26,0,50,8,5,9,5,110,101,46,2,14,21,0,11,3,2,4,3,2,0,4,31,26,0,4,28,0,0,3,13,24,1,4,16,16,72,21,77,77,10,75,0,9,1,0,32,28,0,13,42,340,103,7,0.053256438957915285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052041575782813064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055157609458769775,0.0,0.04258915499362342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0362162047324904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447628078651454,0.0,0.04382551151968216,0.047409521693282254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668014120415073,0.12985852352140026,0.05881755268310955,0.18126922812444915,0.0,0.055889347025154135,0.04710099241966965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945179883886821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583836300122145,0.0,0.0,0.04252093299201673,0.0,0.058499697465552086,0.2404219813281044,0.0,0.04586969283702799,0.0,0.05527177553096109,0.0,0.061036492967262976,0.0,0.09321013724176122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044488921032350866,0.11981265141387945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407015026330597,0.04817349802610568,0.04487084675342142,0.0,0.0,0.0520950164102694,0.050205430947833175,0.0,0.21542444571255187,0.07609282126534868,0.10226906624897393,0.05833982572422551,0.09735084077158744,0.0,0.0,0.11678587294128047,0.08229158526115314,0.0,0.11129716510821272,0.0,0.0,0.13400692278980142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273224753374158,0.0,0.0,0.04770730867562138,0.0,0.05465647085383242,0.0,0.0600238772656578,0.0,0.035696668435937426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20978745872341964,0.0,0.057012119380317874,0.060120037187456815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467353986271043,0.0,0.0,0.14634173037534232,0.0868222115858437,0.06007558283173105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523319563197747,0.07805521796459497,0.0,0.04702641130303144,0.04713027259535529,0.0,0.0,0.17440708267722166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106647259642303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056496665689086074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214929775932768,0.0,0.056638827012870076,0.0,0.05218000276610951,0.1533029685426638,0.0,0.0558836739890264,0.0,0.07217588265071362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369213091623942,0.0930029366028811,0.0,0.0,0.10068909763512177,0.0,0.2550247354111749,0.0,0.0574194486912222,0.1528776589306194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034117438505497755,0.10951297819224008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548070788182092,0.0,0.0,0.053318986057766624,0.0538983594509899,0.0,0.04848266185532253,0.0,0.060164617179776524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053294900121214496,0.0,0.1353720237160949,0.040999408584001015,0.10534395978599258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759198283781356,0.04452476763429685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058253900350142475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008442850149362,0.08561101663263784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614363485746783,0.03412457568347715,0.10464836175688408,0.042279663730626416,0.0,0.061210442243466966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531033834557094,0.0,0.05202380239864176,0.0,0.0,0.09199292811217434,0.0586544434991205,0.1318264188173013,0.09423608257239832,0.0,0.12815730885948715,0.0,0.047883934464364813,0.0,0.0480556526503356,0.0,0.0,0.05133730669497425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854572224596652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034295400607958916
mentalhealth,Addomit,2018/03/18,"Anyone know about/taken Propranolol (Beta Blockers)? Going to keep this post short so I can hopefully get some answers and reassurance.

Background: I suffer with anxiety that while is (touch wood) much better, I have had bad experiences flying before and benzos don’t help (I’ve taken up to 1.5mg Xanx and didn’t get amazing relief just tired) so my doc prescribed me 40mg of Propranolol (beta blockers). 

1) I want to test one out as I’d be worried taking one for the first time say on the plane not knowing how I’d react. My anxiety is about a 2/10 right now (not high but I’m never totally without the feeling of adrenalin in my body), if I took a pill would I be able to feel it working still? 

2) Is 40mg too high? I’ve never taken beta blockers before. My resting heart rate is 64. 

3) I’m worried this may slow my heart down and I’ll die. Seriously. Any thoughts there? And do beta blockers ONLY help with racing heart because that’s not even my main anxiety symptom - what I really feel is like I need to jump out my skin and escape (fight or flight). So yes my heart rate is up but it’s not beating like panic attack levels (which I have experienced before).

Thanks a ton. ",2.1579296947271054,4.372452093617024,3.8603145235892704,85.58434782608697,79.12765957446808,6.129509713228493,23.408880666049953,7.255503002510835,1.0555180388529144,922,31,178,12,23,308,145,235,0.108,0.726,0.166,0.9377,0,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,0,4,11,14,2,1,6,1,17,9,6,2,3,43,37,16,1,5,10,0,5,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,8,10,0,5,7,0,0,3,9,6,0,3,6,7,18,8,20,27,6,24,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,5,10,105,26,2,0.1109414570143123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544399511439652,0.0,0.2546097328674829,0.0,0.0,0.0775728462617658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621192338252962,0.0,0.0,0.09263148257919547,0.0676288824745495,0.0,0.2832090260843084,0.0,0.0,0.09811870316728324,0.0,0.12323094878170406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513971698367705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327578604415283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085220329565579,0.0,0.0,0.1682860022527312,0.07925659905817597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436674666190446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592466470040283,0.0,0.06305058666811386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5258646428969971,0.14872344018229242,0.2344314808885583,0.0,0.11018989924518573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860986444635933,0.0,0.0,0.12194104681062701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840078405548813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155473599316931,0.08226168464201504,0.1711297819466364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035360492074554,0.08437597727290178,0.0,0.13016589613403606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625124876848407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107193818173169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474339811640012,0.0,0.08822509948181312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859799088055204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153106525630804,0.08341416884008282,0.0,0.0,0.1021399881639524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880751245883617,0.0646908557526096,0.12751088469033567,0.0,0.0,0.12326004080849418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543614574107805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694360560667122,0.0,0.08076670201279529,0.22533286964902094,0.0,0.07880962799706401,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hey627h,2018/03/18,"Stress and hormonal imbalances? I've been moderately depressed, stressed, and withdrawn for my teen years. I'm 18 now and I'm a guy. I have a lack of enthusiasm in general, lack of energy, slightly irritable, not even dating. I'm really stressed about getting my life together, I have no social life, no GF, and I'm depressed. I have been like this for years. Is it likely that I have a hormonal problem I should get tested for, such as adrenal fatigue? Testosterone? I really don't feel like I think a regular person should. I know I have some depression, but I definitely think there is something more that is causing my depression, especially considering my symptoms.",3.8782093316519557,6.782850049180329,5.286393442622952,73.87682849936952,77.19672131147541,9.327616645649432,32.33543505674653,9.661875296680813,3.98164867591425,534,28,89,17,13,178,73,122,0.238,0.6759999999999999,0.086,-0.9293,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,3,4,0,13,4,0,1,0,18,23,6,0,5,2,0,1,3,1,2,4,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,1,14,3,8,19,4,5,0,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,7,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589151337174436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5329568427671387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217507462162242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821881218072314,0.11051466466897546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164427440072998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531730998147833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501673083252298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21853234638914976,0.2267295677982501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507434973472185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480229271841459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820409931450308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769282150281347,0.0,0.1190923352805303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.531610328588943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607881015865387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19824556250737516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923796409965527
mentalhealth,BATman25164,2018/03/18,"Am i'm dealing with repressed emotions? I want to start by saying I'm fortunate I have no known mental illnesses, but at the age of 20 I've become increasing less happy and more nihilistic. This is frustrating because I do believe I have a good life with a loving parent, lots of friends, a great part time job and a university degree that motivates me. 

However, it feels like something is holding me back from enjoying all of these great aspects of my life. Over the past few months I have become mildly depressed and things that I used to find fun aren't fun anymore. For example I find that now drinking alcohol and going out, which I only do occasionally, makes me feel very depressed.

In the past when I was in my mid teens I dealt with the loss of my other parent, but being a very diligent student, I didn't have time to deal with it or know how to deal with it and simply moved on with life. I always thought of the loss as less significant because it wasn't the parent I had lived with for all my life (only on weekends). But I now think i'm dealing with some unresolved feelings as i often think about my lost parent and sometimes have had dreams about my lost parent. I still don't know how to feel about it.

Although I have many relationships with people, one of the things I have the most trouble with is talking intimately with people. I feel like this as made me very good at repressing emotions, and putting on a mask. In my friend group I have great friends but no friend I would consider very close (but I feel like this is normal for males). I find it easier to socialise in a group dynamic, where I usually socialise through humour and about more casual subjects. I also don't want to push my problems onto my parent as I feel like I have a happy facade to maintain because that's how I've always been. Additionally I have never been in a long lasting relationship (only hook ups and relationships that last less than a month). I guess I partially know the answer to my question but I just wanted somewhere to vent for the first time. Thanks for listening guys.",7.071646740356423,6.73079214143921,7.189822919016468,76.14179731558767,64.31017369727047,10.0071734716896,33.7027972027972,9.457814108942452,2.9723161290322584,1655,62,309,27,22,534,188,403,0.096,0.6659999999999999,0.238,0.9971,8,0,3,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,6,17,34,1,2,20,0,29,8,0,7,3,75,59,26,0,6,8,6,7,4,4,1,6,2,0,2,19,23,2,3,20,4,0,5,8,11,0,2,11,9,45,23,59,46,13,43,0,6,0,1,26,17,0,8,25,218,64,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981574293606775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052242761871527627,0.10871622507578367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478780184427084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023318403740791,0.0,0.11946999046469275,0.14429924233762284,0.0,0.07360226229342064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694011146707749,0.11253378661134554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399654961641453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697036881686948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312225264344351,0.1866812873884687,0.0,0.0,0.17912577015854814,0.05556794627465319,0.0,0.0,0.2018889406691735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03712739642399375,0.10958802004081368,0.0,0.2160729851876335,0.07196613492958465,0.06468497088679455,0.0,0.1390856986059528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482793971336925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770764772878427,0.10650204554933618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457233654078944,0.12766380441421654,0.0,0.057685803058187574,0.057813206402145836,0.0,0.0,0.1426264141716849,0.0555395123048668,0.058961052375514834,0.06181491408414338,0.04360693381979525,0.06623231792058719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583523836862272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428834047768347,0.06943330392852921,0.0,0.0,0.050384965390794234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400754979462872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442679298374564,0.14905461736760509,0.0,0.0,0.43523394336807697,0.07074383599590976,0.12472589753459765,0.09058039131533874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251005396549716,0.0,0.06567266344306236,0.073182288425501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104134060858043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195143163773435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050292670513141804,0.06461104248872028,0.0,0.04623948036832693,0.0,0.05217100908365014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052508155611304515,0.0,0.0601452267409732,0.0,0.0,0.08680201396916377,0.08371906329983489,0.0,0.0518631187826593,0.11427981118607965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642239952810109,0.07194954032054207,0.2156097002528674,0.11559640528844795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640712252332167,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leiurameshi,2018/03/18,"Question about meds and emotions Please treat me like a total noob here because this might be a stupid question to some if not everyone, thank you. 

So, emotions. We feel sad, happy, angry, scared, lonely, etc. And there are meds to help people who have too much of the negative emotions. 

So if love is nothing more but a chemical reaction, is there any medication that would make me not fall in love or be in love? 

Like I said, its quite a stupid question. Thank you for your time. ",4.479340659340661,6.153406604395608,4.392087912087913,86.7279120879121,70.86813186813188,7.397802197802199,27.285714285714285,7.957251820313856,1.5914571428571436,375,13,73,5,7,115,67,91,0.16699999999999998,0.5670000000000001,0.267,0.9415,0,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,3,0,1,7,14,2,1,5,0,8,4,0,1,1,18,16,8,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,2,7,9,7,11,5,4,0,2,0,3,13,2,0,8,3,51,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276587705771046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831564207021593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4603405757083856,0.0,0.0,0.15213714333318454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303489721562531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689747786723075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452147374659969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143511254030603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328951881992693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693556056695608,0.0,0.09105708940326156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30304935540740313,0.13742227832305856,0.0,0.1447131962666021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002796392362936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308924594892974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457196445257823,0.0,0.0,0.14974108985080145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584431141685399,0.14509257881155307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976050378926815,0.0,0.13657373935262798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511824982313306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954382535555185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969042566032462,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kptheaficionado,2018/03/18,"How can I help my neighbour? I was getting dropped home by my fiancé today when a man (let's call him Bob) approached our car. I wound the window down to address him as he approached before he launched into a rant about how the world hates him, and he's getting death threats, as well as other profanities. I attempted to calm him down (despite my fight or flight instinct going into flight overdrive), and he eventually left to walk down the street.

Not long after, Bob returned with a similar rant (I was still in the car with my fiancé) and I once again managed to remain calm and talk to him about it. I stepped out of the car, got my lady to leave and drive home, and continued to talk with him. By this point, Bob had spoken about some hardships in his life and had admitted to me that he had a diagnosis of schizophrenia (didn't specify type, though from the symptoms I suspect it's paranoid). I kept talking with him, walked him home, and eventually left to walk back to my house (a few doors down).

I can't stop thinking about Bob and how to help him. I've never been in an encounter with someone with schizophrenia where I've been able to talk with them and calm them down. He said he hates when people call him names like ""retard"" and ""crazy"". I've had some limited education about mental health (I'm a student speech pathologist) so I was able to use what little I did know to let him know that someone kind of understands him. I asked if he'd called any of the support services like the suicide hotline (he'd mentioned self-harm), and he said he'd never called but was aware of them.

For reference, I'm Australian (in case somebody knows the system). As the title says, how can I help this man? 

EDIT: I'm more wondering who I would be best referring him to and how to go about it, rather than me personally helping him.",6.0127480712955546,6.081578284916207,5.923934557063049,82.95457169459964,66.43016759776536,8.718488959829742,31.572758712423514,8.269060116576782,2.1475127427507306,1438,52,288,17,21,451,178,358,0.058,0.851,0.091,0.8911,0,0,0,0,1,1,52.0,1,0,3,3,21,13,4,0,17,0,22,4,0,7,2,54,45,29,2,3,5,0,0,2,1,1,4,4,6,3,10,23,0,3,10,0,0,12,5,4,1,0,16,4,45,9,56,22,5,46,0,0,0,0,55,19,0,5,15,186,55,5,0.19626561132043654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673367296624218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917409263372884,0.0,0.0,0.07545807017611475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350378979418469,0.0,0.10298432522741552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4008182659380363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254068135055236,0.0,0.11154226985619188,0.0,0.07848576928887957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377165818391576,0.0,0.10431058351993897,0.0,0.0,0.2631054043331192,0.0,0.2953056160113037,0.0,0.0,0.11323208216919725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219021601212533,0.16179367078882534,0.0,0.0,0.10390847193560854,0.21324316096508267,0.20069488497714605,0.06931410276965906,0.09588546393220852,0.09835485168460434,0.0,0.08684444494998879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889478702328182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137213884146408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450823531982327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803293137224614,0.08568578074373558,0.0,0.0,0.09276722067484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186693540738493,0.07803914582341635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237391827327648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166295215565824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783689853635631,0.0820434196281055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734136179341026,0.11135994493685553,0.0,0.10199755946116608,0.0,0.3155017279402877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287953943804507,0.09641498331369584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930184253980982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215971153155766,0.0,0.08475523629809567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823317756471492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642084167327967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971072957327627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mobc1990,2018/03/18,"Lowest dose medication & my issue Issue:
1.social anxiety,freezing when meeting people that trigger and also negative thoughts after and during socializing.
2.Low mood

Hi,i am now taking very low dose of anti psychotic(zyprexa) for my severe anxiety.I am on them for close to 8 years,used to be diagnosed as psychosis for the past 7 years.Anyway,i would rate my function in life as 6/10,my work is okay,not good though,my friendship is well as i try to meetup with friends once a week and usually have a good time talking to them.

I really wish i can talk to everyone like how i talked to two of my friend.I am inpatient talking to customer and afraid when talking to my cousin and aunty.Oh,i am also irritated when communicating with my parent
",7.491861702127662,7.624529773049653,7.853962765957447,70.14562500000001,63.326241134751776,10.737943262411349,36.06471631205674,10.411451182825502,3.882041843971632,602,26,102,13,8,198,94,141,0.114,0.752,0.134,0.4215,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,1,8,8,0,1,3,0,10,5,0,2,0,13,13,14,0,2,0,2,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,12,5,21,10,0,13,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,0,10,62,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804350599989547,0.0,0.14771173839366922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837043190813442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026760545257526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065393017679804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228691547396048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845828105533336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629276364856536,0.06660315828107928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373364963056473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518527111895985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513765281263713,0.0,0.1301408607296902,0.09451293054628382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733544852660692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401226050369113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27793922210501193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025019724450865,0.5478779228418182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394193720228045,0.10822950248370354,0.07949417234517482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255801844621456,0.0,0.13317301402368747,0.0,0.16398625060790656,0.0,0.15014644579043482,0.11248518762831602,0.0,0.0,0.10935439999305728,0.0,0.12257558236647988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567709043417941,0.0,0.0,0.0992486813609283,0.0,0.0,0.09684376682874528,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilmak_,2018/03/18,"my trauma and how it’s effecting my day to day life: I have a disgusting family, to say the least. Probably the most emotionally abusive people I’ve ever heard / seen / read about / whatever. They are wicked.

My mother:
*heavy* alcoholic and drug addict “breathe into breathalyzer  to start the car, going missing to Puerto Rico, developing alcohol poisoning, falling into a coma for two days, then waking up. breaking into my dad and I’s house, leaving trails of her blood from cutting herself, and running missing again, car accidents, banging on doors when drunk, and sooo much more.

Dad’s girlfriend:

Narcissistic, Abusive, Emotionally, Physically, and Mentally. Said
“you don’t have the cuts to kill yourself”
has slapped me for having an intrusive thought from OCD.
has screamed awful swears at me, getting very angry if i did not simply walk into the house and say Hi _________! 

These burdens are so much to carry, and it’s very hard to find an outlet where I could fully release and accept my past. A plug I haven’t tried yet.
Maybe someday, I’ll wake up and forget the past sixteen years of hell.",3.7043285648361786,6.68280566497462,4.55404937701892,78.36136479003231,78.64467005076142,7.033594831564376,28.2438855560683,8.150884317080207,2.4865654822335026,864,38,139,17,22,278,136,197,0.271,0.711,0.018000000000000002,-0.9948,0,0,3,0,1,0,36.0,0,1,1,1,9,12,6,0,11,1,11,12,4,2,1,25,20,15,1,2,2,3,1,0,1,0,7,5,1,0,3,14,3,0,4,2,0,6,3,11,0,1,5,7,16,1,22,14,5,28,1,2,1,0,13,9,1,2,12,90,19,1,0.0,0.32287985926022456,0.0,0.14853809439187604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912303779388814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878855405824167,0.0,0.0,0.26361966621488353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801257636552826,0.0,0.0,0.3065371380173445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232504751288392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844911563231956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453462869551225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711876293094103,0.0,0.07743687338791051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205774341323786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144400206913617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507460025223158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427440279963616,0.0,0.0,0.09624095703074398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688649127385658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373130224321168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003262490967856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26014168689023304,0.09446208149920628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690596744695725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629190226549634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129609735350969,0.2167109370185769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644201133615987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817127376266863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250822116440167,0.0,0.1331013654056581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22484933859914666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877437718426469
mentalhealth,pickled_dique,2018/03/18,"Pseudo seizures... “fake” I am a first year college student. The summer going into my senior year of high school is when I had my first, of many, pseudo seizures. It looks just like a “real”seizures as my doctors said but it’s caused mentally by a trigger or emotions. I’ve been taking medicines for depression and anxiety, (I have those and PTSD) and I just recently had to have my prescription switched because it was expensive... since then things have been weird. If someone gasps or makes a noise of any concern even a small one I go instantly into panic mode asking over and over what’s wrong until they answer me. (Usually them not even noticing and almost ignoring me asking which makes me panic more). I have had it multiple times now too where out of nowhere it’s like everything picks up speed and enhances; lights get brighter, cars get faster, noises get louder, and my brain is the only thing that slows down. It’s almost like I can’t process anything fast when it’s happening. Someone goes to put their hand by my face and I panic and in my head it’s like “woah woah woah what’s happening hand hand hand” and constant repeating of words in my head “grass grass grass” “close close close” but even though a LOT of it is scary I still am more so confused than anything where it seems I will just keep loudly repeating “WOW, WOAH. WOOUWWWW”  and repeat. It’s exhausting and makes my head hurt. But I don’t know what to do. I especially don’t know what I’m going to do when I go back to college tomorrow because it was extremely and even nearly impossible to focus on any one thing during this time. *grass, van, grass, chocolate” and now I can remember certain parts of it but why do I remember that? Why do I remember the order? *grass, van, grass, chocolate, car FAST, door OPEN*  I would just love to not feel like this because it seems like lately even when it’s not THAT bad, (ex. Right now) I still feel it in my chest like I have something small but extremely heavy in the center of my chest pulling down and I still hear the voice *door door door dark dark dark* it has to be in threes.  Any idea on how to help with coping? and how to make it stop?",3.7546848739495786,5.53343391666667,3.949551820728292,88.74819327731095,72.92857142857143,7.322128851540617,25.68627450980393,8.027739517013583,1.4010308123249298,1695,56,343,25,34,524,201,420,0.11,0.7509999999999999,0.139,0.9394,0,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,3,2,27,22,0,4,11,0,29,14,11,9,1,69,57,35,0,2,15,1,6,7,0,2,2,4,4,0,32,24,0,3,11,0,1,8,6,12,0,5,8,12,37,10,41,46,4,71,0,2,1,1,10,27,0,9,42,214,69,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595510013421031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625299107552273,0.0,0.060945425069014965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111914088752205,0.0,0.14895673011278776,0.0,0.0,0.06125939557625109,0.06651904092959904,0.14569371911438986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893528583767132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184047548116384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609227305307689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861750734916754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815430695818476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961522282397516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630981862377246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160001862249099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056457092153665,0.05691448317459734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355302821204364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248689533177357,0.0,0.18110752147902945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089942730070235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452855398760113,0.0,0.08979107085009781,0.0,0.05339945086282459,0.08417309557298873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528571434890057,0.08993491864441776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081214104029468,0.0,0.0,0.08756635711686239,0.0,0.08986841837175291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724506395358607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690064140594852,0.0,0.0,0.06773046581841688,0.07190303581739872,0.0,0.21271471915815132,0.08077034815089214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028610941876405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907019851593226,0.0,0.0,0.10796952959362532,0.060590729300835276,0.0,0.28041796368233457,0.0,0.08627214692637453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312705280890476,0.08008784920758041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866205235593919,0.0,0.2707432667513001,0.0680356159875343,0.07578204317270254,0.0,0.0,0.08062777069112807,0.0,0.14505261319209425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590178534752028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500404090653995,0.06133193936614316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908677228595061,0.06660560342579991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059900050789299865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587826557020293,0.0,0.07827292148482362,0.0,0.0929095284186911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774250401374617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377506780431695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05659351145439374,0.08710391288072071,0.0,0.10260652547294187
mentalhealth,Loktera,2018/03/18,"Undiagnosed mental illness wreaking havoc on life, relationships, and marriage. In the past few years, I have been having problems with absent-mindedness, anxiety, and some depressive episodes. I haven't been diagnosed with anything and have only recently started taking care of my mental health.

It just seems like recently in the past year things have gotten worse. From little things like forgetting to put something very perishable on the fridge, to major big things like not getting the mail. These are things that not only affect me, but my wife as well. She has had several health issues that have left her unable to physically do much.

I feel anxious most of the time, I have a compulsive need to clean, but it never does anything or goes anywhere. It constantly feels like there just aren't enough hours in the day to get done what needs to get done and relax. My chest hurts in this dull pain that just won't subside.

I want to help and be there, but I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with me, but I know that's what my problem is.

""I was naïve, but lovingly so. You should not forgive me just because I had love in my heart. Intension never matter.""",5.978713178294576,7.404652390697678,5.641860465116283,80.14248062015506,66.95348837209303,8.896124031007753,29.68217054263566,9.21078282632365,2.532742635658915,924,33,165,17,15,285,134,215,0.159,0.6970000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.0266,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,8,18,0,0,7,0,22,10,2,1,4,42,39,13,0,6,14,1,2,4,0,2,6,0,1,0,16,8,0,0,5,1,0,1,9,7,1,0,8,2,19,11,21,28,6,24,0,3,0,2,11,10,0,4,17,115,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408478398789489,0.12417282614390038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090159557867927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700325133102729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206581434035334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877922214009155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088617455629179,0.0,0.0946697521054109,0.11156155703833327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618748285213724,0.22496270721064093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357172548830065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111527983494026,0.07852340053579747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227837782124827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336693155238934,0.0,0.13024997436335028,0.07367380383003676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824427570691073,0.0,0.11766643452170307,0.0,0.0,0.11472285304693232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060406488382354635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119423125107285,0.0,0.07763631648768919,0.21479594849977354,0.11016384961168607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984054169097473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215372248223907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080027752997854,0.16300137247002047,0.16954666956546888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719083931764891,0.11695746236319145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20985288341012406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034789608378274,0.0,0.11049507806449267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170558880474973,0.11800772961098692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006261859134856,0.0,0.12417282614390038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846180474961148,0.0,0.0,0.07779850435622312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359372203206996,0.0,0.08264250886393262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920909494707313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640924041357998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069150469874536,0.06483079948678967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882691435670124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120129216216727,0.0,0.1201749547366672,0.0,0.1415634975122538
mentalhealth,XB1tegan36,2018/03/18,My mother is being held at a mental health institution and I don’t know what to do. My mother has always been out there with her beliefs but has never been dangerous with her actions. The other night she had a mental break of some kind (psychotic or manic I don’t know). Now she’s at a facility for evaluation and I don’t know what to do. I’ve talked to my family and my wife is supportive (we’ve only been married no more than a month) but I feel horrible and guilty. I feel like my actions over the years have enabled her. I just googled this subreddit... I don’t know if there’s a better subreddit for family members trying cope. Any one else been through this here...? ,1.8127619047619064,4.12763605925926,3.7292328042328053,85.50083333333335,81.0,7.116402116402117,22.235449735449734,8.192908349453996,1.379656084656085,528,17,106,11,14,178,80,135,0.083,0.7859999999999999,0.131,0.7637,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,1,0,7,0,17,1,0,0,1,22,25,8,0,1,5,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,6,2,17,4,14,18,2,12,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,3,6,78,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631583743978945,0.0,0.0,0.1359249807078826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677726126344095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697375602175565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768573920664323,0.0,0.20213026077533566,0.14279402464861274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246266573320424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081438428693858,0.43939439872188346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765107520565212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028632449183378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954198804880448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415946805554304,0.0,0.0,0.1875734623757846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544358843420468,0.15201744109173498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682099897048885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065564945481411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570512650516564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871590771144195
mentalhealth,wowjustkillmepls,2018/03/18,"There's something wrong with me ... im not normal ... i dont deserve to be alive Im not right theres something wrong with me , ive tried like hell to figure out what it is on my own but i cant and i cant to anyone else about it because i dont even understand it nor i can explain it that well ... . not even a therapist could understand i dont think because i feel just like im some sort of weird specimen and that id be better off dead because no one will ever understand me . I feel like the very day i was born i was doomed to be some weirdo or freak . And im just so sick of struggling to figure myself out because it never works out how i want . Id be okay if i just knew what was wrong with me and why i have all these thoughts i dont want to have or have all these conflicting emotions . I feel like im evil somehow ... maybe even possesed ... god i hope so because this ... if this just how i am then i hate myself . If i just had an answer i think if be okay . ",-0.3045540308747832,1.4864152169811362,1.9719554030874809,98.08805317324186,85.50943396226415,5.175300171526587,19.070325900514586,6.351523495107088,-0.22398867924528296,734,20,183,7,22,248,103,212,0.244,0.619,0.13699999999999998,-0.9876,0,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,18,19,3,1,3,2,24,1,0,2,4,55,39,17,1,9,15,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,10,0,1,14,0,0,0,12,10,1,1,6,3,28,9,17,26,5,11,2,1,0,0,1,6,1,11,9,125,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640364042657458,0.0938367875120431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791382981853657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099701435278801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312093531197134,0.0,0.0,0.059062943177956635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42933462957300783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650517728566045,0.10301764939206397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146753989842007,0.08284134389947646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389201375460372,0.1962790278788188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904184630731103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096178977700296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946224628155765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896974946818295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920066302945784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063383920234594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973111214552904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205846949992989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821069917712457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100890511798864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574160101466207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633399394944516,0.0,0.11736435282680548,0.0,0.07270603768829499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062178302801656725,0.0,0.0,0.28602090288895976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556490701147517,0.1080351098147923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234339719471498,0.0,0.08263869161759645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667293299835474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003922796280428,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helloworld204,2018/03/18,"I feel lost. Here's the story, liked this girl for a while, going on 1 1/2 years but she was in a relationship when we met, which is obviously fine we became good friends and that was that but then she said she liked me more than that and more than the guy she had been with. This was around the 1 year mark, they broke up and we started talking more and started hooking up and staying over each other's places, etc. 

Then a month ago we took a valentines day weekend trip out of town together and I asked her to be my legit girlfriend. She said ""I'm just not ready yet it has nothing to do with you it's just I got out of a years long relationship and I always jump into things and I don't want to yet"" I said "" ok, but it's not like it's jumping we have known each other for over a year now but ok I understand we will stay where we are"" .

Then she became short and started fightig about everything i said and said im really pushy and annoying for asking how her day was or if she wanted to get dinner days in advance just so I know it's not last minute and she's busy. 

Now it's st. Pattys day and she went on a 4 day weekend with a bunch of her guy friends to another big Irish town to drink all weekend and barely talking to me. But she assured me before she left that we are still ok and I have nothing to worry about and me and her are fine and it's all in my head. 

Am I being crazy? Or just jealous? Idk I feel lost and I'm usually really good at picking out emotions and situations and I definetly feel like I'm being phased out here. What can I do to feel better, anyone been here before? 

Please help, I feel hopeless and lost and scared to lose her honestly. ",1.6690670821114395,3.3422650965909098,3.1525916422287388,92.68427052785923,78.43181818181819,6.132844574780059,21.58211143695015,6.968188349444268,0.3791256231671549,1302,36,295,14,31,427,167,352,0.125,0.73,0.146,0.8731,0,0,1,0,1,1,27.0,8,1,1,6,19,25,2,1,11,3,23,3,1,2,4,73,54,38,0,3,15,0,5,4,3,1,0,5,0,3,18,42,2,0,8,4,0,7,4,9,0,0,19,10,47,16,39,31,9,62,0,6,0,0,45,23,0,3,34,201,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826424151626186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346480673659447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925803352425402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173480233192415,0.0,0.0,0.07859730425517733,0.16507948355270907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025750277730873,0.0,0.0,0.07808581271669181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847004890453584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864911221135845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099314980202917,0.0,0.0,0.09846729688130987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934984936642657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321176341449375,0.06307478340869739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364261130128253,0.0,0.04612816601136691,0.0,0.05017755171356087,0.14810784144376501,0.07061401480082477,0.0,0.0,0.17484304230203132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906115715953659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059179291622195575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536893996773972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852217485741772,0.0719685786356169,0.0,0.0,0.09592793611501572,0.0,0.0,0.17253720338451894,0.0,0.0,0.07813435450312656,0.0,0.09877453666502292,0.2891386804136819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047267114667106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694343193999775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224482845378554,0.0969165059013806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312236862342664,0.0,0.0,0.1895820082924668,0.0,0.0,0.4199226359240839,0.0,0.0883942385428801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992422724687296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747750778644512,0.18821194832987906,0.07050894375539178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419291923129426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865631533974435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809404477772576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191357168947976,0.0,0.0,0.09723956236984588,0.0,0.1041521026328389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184622030435118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966333476875367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274248665553515
mentalhealth,XXXTENTIONCORD12,2018/03/18,"I don't know what to do anymore So I've made this throw away account purely so I can say this shit without it cropping up on my main, for some background, I've had really bad mental health for a long time, I've been diagnosed schizo-affective, depression, have extreme anxiety, have aspergers and sadistic personality disorder and have been on suicide watch for about two years anyways I genuinely have one problem that my therapist can't/won't help me with, I have a very bad detachment to people, people tell me about people dying and their problems and I've never cared, I don't care about other people, I have no empathy for others what-so-ever and I've never really felt a real emotion, I fake them purely because you have to but whenever I tell my therapist she refuses to listen, she's always listened with my other problems but she always seems to give me answers along the line of ""It'll get better"" and I genuinely feel like I'm a bad person, purely because of this, I feel like she dodges my questions because she knows I'm a bad person and doesn't want to outright say, I know I'm a bad person, I used to kill rats for fun and shit like that, I'm still not aloud near small animals and I know I'm a piece of shit but I'm trying the best I can but my lack of empathy gets in the way and it genuinely annoys me because I know if I had that, I could be a better person than I am, sorry if I'm giving too much information but I really wanted to get this off me because I don't know anyone I can talk to and I'm just at the point where I don't know who I can talk to or where to go.",5.209301435406701,4.910390660606062,6.559441786283891,78.96968899521531,68.15151515151516,9.614035087719301,29.792663476874004,9.276330184999452,2.4036060606060614,1258,41,255,22,19,430,154,330,0.211,0.696,0.093,-0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,1,2,3,11,24,5,0,12,0,25,5,3,2,5,56,58,21,3,9,11,0,3,3,0,1,2,4,0,5,15,14,0,1,14,0,1,2,10,15,0,2,6,8,42,9,36,49,6,21,0,1,1,0,28,12,3,6,9,168,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206380706742454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070836805294996,0.0,0.07870144274343625,0.05548869851207042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455910360818327,0.0,0.3313015221987859,0.2418783666694028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328093439587543,0.1403707457135859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182078089436866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336060840656771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835060853726176,0.08054632174851432,0.08236068869915071,0.0,0.0909507166772436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892666500263846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025120208767275,0.11338621030845908,0.07619576762253959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438325547513075,0.15225413545561522,0.04510076867400608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435344741771371,0.0,0.0,0.05319174512499904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877974573460959,0.0,0.3052901379899031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163103852982842,0.0,0.0,0.07022900336099758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509010620822358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997382370562432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833698743611705,0.0,0.12241098959847685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053774782386464194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006634822763568,0.34646009812757084,0.0,0.0,0.07501860891983955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278035969585712,0.0,0.0,0.0888987049784051,0.0,0.0,0.09032635402817044,0.1525155853039153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621674161146895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224420388188267,0.0,0.0,0.2443783936000851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883436721351007,0.0,0.0,0.0633751040687186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680436454518949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756931041863878,0.13872412904636405,0.0,0.0,0.18428064472074915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627407094528183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05387862010233018,0.0,0.07752087124287392,0.0,0.0,0.06853951082615416,0.0,0.06547835393523634,0.0936143699192385,0.06299039115134332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649792131228245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110371045892205
mentalhealth,Gingapittys,2018/03/19,"-A child with a unstable mother. I’m on mobile so this might suck. Plus I’m not a writer so, sorry now! 


I wanted to tell someone what it’s like with my mother. 
My mother is currently 58, she lived a life of pure trauma. Her mother sneaking in her room, drunk, with loaded guns and putting them on her forehead. Her sister was stolen. Her father and grandfather sexually abused her. Roaches. Lots.. plus SO MUCH MORE. 
Because of this trauma she has severe ptsd. Borderline personality. And she is also bipolar, struggles with depression and probably some things I don’t even know about. 
Before us, meaning my siblings and I, she had a few relationships. She married once at 18, before my father. Divorced not long after. 

My father came along, married and had my eldest brother. And the second brother. She had her first break down shortly after brother #2s arrival. Then my two sisters came along, she had her tubes tied and 5 years later i came along. My mother had trips to mental health wards during this time, by the time I was born I’d say about 5-8ish Times. 
 My father was a POS. But I don’t wanna talk about him. They divorced shortly after I was born. 


Now my mom. She is my WORLD. She understands everything, she doesn’t judge you for being you and going through shit. She’ll never turn down helping you or our friends when they need help. She raised 5 kids pretty much by herself. She is no doubt the strongest person I know. She’s a beautiful person/soul despite everything this harsh works has tried to damper her with. 
My mom was a mental health recovery specialist for around 10 years while I was growing up but that doesn’t mean she was “healed”. 
My earliest memory is being around 5, she’s tell us to go the neighbors usually, I never understood why until this day. She sent us to the neighbors and they had a huge bay window with the couch against it, I remember my sister and I (#4) sitting on our knees watching the house. I remember the paramedics strapping my mom down on the gurney, and her fighting like Ya wouldn’t believe, she was bloody all over her arms. She was cutting and then biting herself. They took her away and we went back into the house, tables were flipped pills were everywhere blood was all over.. 
My siblings tried to protect me, but how can you protect from that? Lie? We are not that kind of family. Mom was sick, IS sick. Simple. 

Throughout my childhood I spent a lot of time is mental health wards, we’d learn the name of nurses, know where all the color pencils and games were etc. When I was growing up I’m thankful my mother always knew to protect us from her “worst” to the best of her ability. She always new when she needed a hospital stay, she never second guessed it. She went. 
But that doesn’t mean seeing my moms arms cut the fuck up isn’t traumatic, or seeing bruises.. 
I suppress a lot of things also, which makes sense. But whatevs. 

As an adult I remember more, of course, she is more open about her thoughts now and doesn’t try so hard to hide things, just in 2018 I’ve listened to my mom talk about running away, and killing her self. I’ve seen her hit herself and cut herself and check out. I’ve sat with her a few times this year waiting to get a bed. My family is pretty close nit, and we are all usually at the hospital and trying to talk mom “off the ledge” persay. But mom lives with me, I never get angry or force her. I watch my words because she’ll run with them, I never snap on her or treat her like shit (or try my hardest not too). 

People don’t understand why our family is so close, why we all talk to one another the way we do. Whywe relate on certain things and it’s literally because we’ve always had too. We had to communicate. We had to take care and tend to one another. And I wouldn’t change it. 

My mother might be “crazy” but she’s mine, I love her more then life itself. She’s beautiful. Has this life been exhausting, does it tend to make my shoulders heavy sometimes, ABSOLUTELY. I love the good days. The ones filled with laughs and love. Those are the days I try to put in the front of my memory.  The bad days are bad. It’s a lot of watching and waiting, my life can be put on pause for hours. Or days at a time. Sometimes after she breaks down I’ll spend days sleeping because I’m exhausted. But she’s mine. Despite her trauma she’s a good mom, it’s hard for outsiders to not blame her for her actions sometimes. Or even us it’s hard to not take the things said to heart sometimes, but we remind ourself everyday it’s not her fault. She was born into awful shitty parents, selfish and fucking disgusting parents. That’s not her fault she went through the things she did... 


I’m sorry if this story sucks, which I know it does. Lol. If you want to know more comment and ask. Even questions about her trauma, Its just very hard to write it all out like this there’s a lot of stories. 

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mentalhealth,Mentalhelper,2018/03/19,"Sharing our stories... I have (and am building up) a mental health website which I would like to have a page of short (maybe 1000 word) stories of people's journey's with mental health, where others can maybe find inspiration as an addition to my psychological articles. Would this be of interest to anyone ? 
www.mentalhelper.com",6.4583928571428615,9.381769482142856,6.477999999999998,68.56700000000002,68.46428571428572,8.765714285714285,32.628571428571426,9.3871,3.572818571428572,265,12,39,6,5,84,43,56,0.0,0.797,0.203,0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,0,8,7,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,9,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119993408887318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237820866937003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5205133666971989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961793320602145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4919554501156434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934883576070807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974332306404136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478589163310364,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spilledlactose,2018/03/19,"I just need advice. So, I left my girlfriend of two and a half years not that long ago. It’s been about a month now. While I was with her, I felt depressed and suicidal. After we broke up, it’s only gotten worse. I’m diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, so I know that ties in, but it’s never been this bad. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I’ve asked my doctor and I’ve even reached out to the National Suicide Lifeline and the Crisis Text Line, neither have worked. I just feel like it’s getting worse and worse. I don’t even have a bad life necessarily, there’s just something wrong.",1.3479268292682924,3.3501224308943094,2.8936788617886187,92.57271341463415,80.78861788617887,6.051219512195122,21.6321138211382,7.1686216300943375,0.5206699186991868,461,14,103,6,12,151,78,123,0.363,0.603,0.034,-0.9937,0,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,1,0,0,2,10,8,0,0,5,0,8,3,0,0,1,21,19,10,2,1,5,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,6,2,12,1,10,13,1,13,0,4,0,0,4,5,0,0,9,65,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446755602533155,0.14012258503407582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092576453672745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777734712147902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639694733953436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722968796232471,0.16044123488157305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179488486117236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881205953027812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799266911521902,0.1129277116913565,0.1517753112088588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258685881534683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374607971084965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174727723677938,0.0,0.11165195986518456,0.07722670815050793,0.0,0.0,0.13989003816860734,0.0,0.0,0.1725558550026041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617272797917647,0.0,0.0,0.11720946794196895,0.12191599757699227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022198969396443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169267258325715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34581341862447806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441480183459189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507936181399606,0.0,0.4832710822106643,0.0,0.17282851415531025,0.0,0.10179412585294187
mentalhealth,jslumpy54,2018/03/19,"HELP!!! mental health - suicide? drugs? how to help? hey guys. i'm not exactly sure where to start on this but here we go. I'm an 18 year old guy almost done with my first year of college. right now, i feel as if I'm at the highest and lowest point of my life. some days i feel soo good, love the people around me, content with life, happy... other days like today not so well, and these days are starting to come around frequently. i feel like i have no motivation to live, i can't find any reason to do anything. my grades and school motivation is going down. I'm not being very responsible. I smoke weed everyday and have for about a year. i think this may be the cause of all it but i may be wrong. it would be safe to say im addicted to weed, cause it is a huge struggle to go a day without it. i crave it. my brain is always racing, i try to convince myself that i am going to stop but i don't have enough control of myself. not sure if this is just growing up or if i actually have something wrong with myself/brain. i can't find happiness, i just want to love myself but it is so hard. i don't even know why I'm around anymore everything seems pointless but i don't know how to change. help",0.3721826977803069,2.520545135458168,2.2917287990893587,94.59840139442232,85.69322709163347,5.179339783722254,18.526038702333523,6.5431188927421005,-0.1009523050654524,923,24,210,10,28,306,136,251,0.139,0.6829999999999999,0.179,0.9212,1,0,3,0,0,1,36.0,1,0,0,4,15,15,0,1,7,0,25,8,1,8,4,57,47,18,1,5,16,0,4,2,0,3,5,1,0,2,12,12,0,3,12,0,0,6,11,3,1,1,1,5,26,12,30,39,3,33,0,0,0,2,10,11,0,9,18,133,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.09542217338684801,0.10659798235377033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791562237794636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136334956256837,0.0,0.0,0.06649584242766157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697453282932288,0.0,0.0,0.08046713701367063,0.2611429972334252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831649543795614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009003020987142,0.10344152513730756,0.08423145865788617,0.0,0.0,0.10967203047749564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522479694952284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006603272999763,0.0,0.0,0.1133973200346079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103605296031072,0.0,0.0645847971752656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788112047835481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483261785329729,0.0698562465353738,0.0,0.0,0.17874391355923586,0.08317423152003303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228949406495413,0.08201580193053072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364123042492,0.0,0.20818379790029867,0.08759442641144431,0.0,0.0,0.10393883352993384,0.0,0.0,0.19662579696368007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056224979646153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747803880068177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813415179822466,0.0955437400240912,0.0,0.08634424449062776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650608128315148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854233826068397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260688571045573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779047043775413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243660979917484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053728428260927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350620964142383,0.0,0.07776102398092548,0.0,0.09896168976389684,0.0,0.0890180367329571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527818646284679,0.0,0.0,0.13842272401114575,0.0,0.0,0.08175102705011841,0.0,0.10222409836318594,0.0,0.10695881048531404,0.0,0.18431877724119167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265544455362568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268691925993702,0.0,0.0,0.06638828758126916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806812754882079,0.057674989635350116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791872545668379,0.0,0.0882340137515402,0.0,0.0,0.09425939249749762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946228917396473,0.2138208790801128,0.0,0.188907278247282
mentalhealth,Hipelesswandrer,2018/03/19,"Everything feels fake... and I can't get help. its been quite a while now (about 2 years?) that I have been having severe mood swings, in the last year I started having more down days than up, but also there are certain circumstances around me that might be the reason behind my sadness.

However lately, everything feels fake. Every interaction, everyone, the news, people, places, life. I feel like im watching a really bad movie...

I want to seek help, however in my side of the country it costs alot, and I can't ask anyone for that kind of money. I'm trying to read more about these things to self-help. Sometimes it gets too much... Any suggestions as to where to look for the right kind of help? anything other than antidepressants and expensive doctors? ",4.420833333333332,6.652510178571433,4.552857142857143,83.20047619047621,72.21428571428572,7.809523809523809,24.523809523809533,8.59863814320734,1.7410238095238102,595,18,108,11,12,185,99,140,0.156,0.7909999999999999,0.053,-0.945,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,0,0,8,0,10,2,0,1,1,14,20,7,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,1,3,0,2,4,0,0,2,5,9,4,21,16,4,17,0,1,2,0,6,9,0,2,9,70,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889021377595407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109973591737552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395253140467822,0.0,0.12234157813639812,0.13234656029155728,0.13898505826596852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413205865080924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587893833138783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216859645667086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525969495335318,0.1420592040961379,0.2672274761283051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255139108227763,0.10620886688650276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553463992694176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985976751192528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058758354362973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30963090724503245,0.0,0.12118473937188425,0.16770463951794592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500901829436594,0.07263196112976662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484416832721792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771387486813784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928851606040313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306807777384548,0.0,0.15532702891319722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812734021038158,0.1487088169104505,0.0,0.09524090247890353,0.15285606618006647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696215934692745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550937576520157,0.16795318431002065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703703208994584,0.0,0.10522838971259524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987688019093952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093621040705908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768858335037294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914753890009182
mentalhealth,apibabi,2018/03/19,"Slight Delusions? Pretty much all my life, if I ever get someone close to me, I will start getting the idea that they hate me. Many of my friendships have ended because I sincerely thought they hated me, even though there was no evidence to prove that they hated me. I have just came to that realization today, and realize it’s also effecting my relationship of 5 years. I’ve had many fights with him because I felt like he didn’t love me, and he has been sick of trying to tell me otherwise when I won’t listen. Some days I can realize I am just thinking that and it’s probably not true. But last night I had totally thought he hated me for no reason. I woke up this morning and realized I was being crazy. How Can I stop this and get out of this frame of mind when it happens?

A little background is that I have been diagnosed with depression/gad/panic attacks (not sure if that matters or not here...)

Thanks ",4.857666666666667,5.680782988888887,5.600000000000001,81.63000000000002,69.1111111111111,8.888888888888891,30.0,9.075114841892004,2.4145000000000003,718,27,141,13,12,234,113,180,0.2,0.703,0.097,-0.9652,0,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,3,1,11,12,6,0,2,0,18,4,0,3,6,40,36,14,0,2,9,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,12,10,0,1,11,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,12,2,27,6,14,21,4,16,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,4,12,102,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931894347500527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551598872613148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666210675827062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634838679965532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816019340031164,0.0,0.0,0.13874762612177652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107562846166058,0.0,0.0,0.09028906311650643,0.12365297946149928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125344086055532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21426032935875405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088336170757508,0.0,0.0,0.5398518097865044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543176648608038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142874802457182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655525522832684,0.06678471676555804,0.1370093159672002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233770903559096,0.0,0.0,0.27718469543339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802803482577447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049023153569936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828369304813098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907304817980334,0.14738572452967202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055037103423915,0.0,0.14676464529729485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582546942551117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675696612536194,0.0,0.0,0.11428732401429904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883813559656662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948182842594557,0.12585499707225886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759184259018793,0.13430705945405064,0.2170490666087456,0.0,0.0,0.1295756194824742,0.0,0.0,0.09281032920728284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803032042019747
mentalhealth,MySecret1dentity,2018/03/19,"Has anyone had weirdly observational days? Short background: Asperger's, mild depression for about a year and a half (with stress related dips, not out of the ordinary), likely ADHD diagnosis in next few weeks, currently in therapy.  The last few weeks of university have been particularly stressful, and after a shitty night of sleep last night I woke up feeling weird.  I didn't feel tired, but rather everything felt like it had more meaning than it normally does, and it's like a sort of emotionally neutral eureka.  It could just be that I'm sort of loopy from being tired, but every thought I've had has been weirdly stoner-ish and my general humanities/writing class was far more interesting today than it usually is.  One thing I've found is that at the moment abstract concepts generally feel more concrete and real than they normally do to me.

Don't really want to draw conclusions or get a pseudo-diagnosis because this could be so many things, but I was just wondering if I could get an outside perspective before I bring it up in my therapy session tomorrow.",10.275715922107675,8.952526113402065,10.212542955326462,60.23652348224515,58.48453608247422,14.189232531500574,42.174112256586476,13.023866798666859,5.736563115693013,862,40,140,27,9,286,129,194,0.084,0.83,0.086,0.5101,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,5,10,0,2,9,0,21,3,1,0,0,36,35,11,0,8,9,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,9,0,0,1,3,6,0,2,12,4,9,4,22,17,5,25,0,1,0,0,1,9,0,5,18,94,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520743033159351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847843822673213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713650057618945,0.0,0.10767467194683393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030913227685013,0.0,0.0,0.08160665842156282,0.0,0.10898714976903166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073441480906628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423384219103409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661387493379317,0.0,0.11372435774103586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19194451889128145,0.0,0.1214964974761985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874258402362485,0.0,0.0,0.13222195367226874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20629101247755388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854604904547016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282898544539582,0.0,0.13783717491124245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457479090444036,0.23749502163860794,0.2479611013147101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574554619445164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402815256856194,0.08106359886353523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266295652354478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28989811732780785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894148754837085,0.0,0.16813268941857595,0.0,0.0,0.1004571811624243,0.0,0.29087404879381085,0.11994339974793312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936392905377135,0.0,0.07463549757102368,0.0,0.20300259206430107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372252594010332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148643976598159
mentalhealth,sora_fighter36,2018/03/19,"I don’t know what to do. I’m overwhelmed and scared and kind of numb all at the same time I have these thoughts and these ideas all the time. Most days it’s a constant internal dialogue of “it’s a great idea to just kill your self. Living life is so exhausting and the things I fear aren’t going away. A lot of my problems are temporary, but my anxiety about figuring out how to be a functioning adult with the ability to pay bills and participate in society isn’t. That’s a permanent problem. My fear of living is permanent as long as I’m alive. University is going to bury me in debt and I’m just going to die someday anyway” and I run through different ways I could do it. I feel like I’m kind of faking though. I don’t have any of my affairs in order and I’m not giving my things away. I don’t have those symptoms so it must be me just faking and being an attention whore. I told my therapist that I’ve been having intrusive thoughts. I hinted that I’ve been having thoughts about self-harm. It’s usually extra bad when I’m falling asleep or waking up. He wants me to work on having a sleep schedule and he said I should do a bedtime routine to help calm myself down before going to bed and stuff. I don’t know what things I should do to get ready for bed besides brush my teeth, lay out my clothes, and lay awake praying and begging God to forgive me for being the monster I am. Part of my kind of thinks a bedtime routine a good idea and maybe I should be just a little bit kinder to myself. The other part of me knows I’m a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve any sort of “self-care”. 

I’ve been cutting again for a little over a month. Some kid online tried to kill himself and he talked to me the whole time. I tried to keep him up and messaging me until the paramedics got there. It worked I guess and he’s still alive and stuff, it just kind of left me a little fucked up that I put myself in a situation where I was responsible for someone’s life again. I told my therapist about the kid but not that I’ve been cutting since then. I think the kids parents regard me as some of hero for “keeping their son alive”. I didn’t do shit. I ain’t shit. The kid called 911 and everything. I don’t know how to process what happened. 

I’m a university student. My therapist ok’d me to have my dog in my dorm as an emotional support animal. I panicked about talking to the school about it. It’s spring break. The semester is like almost over. I’ve wasted so much time and I don’t even deserve to have something that might make me feel better. I should just force myself into feeling fine. I tried bringing the dog yesterday since I finally talked to the school and they said ok. I feel so guilty about the whole situation and I’m embarrassed that my dog helps me so much. I feel like there’s a stigma with support animals that it’s just people that don’t want to be without their pets. I feel guilty for anything that could make me feel better. I shouldn’t be messed up in the first place. I brought the dog and any time I left the room, she would start screaming. I had my mom come back and get her. She was in my dorm all of like an hour and a half. I don’t know what I’m going to do. She was what I was holding my breath for. She was my one healthy coping mechanisms and I failed to utilize her or train her or something. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

My bf and I keep fighting. It’s so bad. I don’t know if we should break up. He’s tough to motivate and he doesn’t seem to want to try to prepare for the future at all. I can’t drag him through life, especially if he wants to toss kids on top of it all. I can’t do it. I don’t know what to do about him or about anything. I don’t feel valued (rightfully so because I have no value). It’s agony to fight all the time. I don’t want to lose him, I just want this painful stuff to pass. I can’t carry him through life. I can’t do it. He’s not like who I fell in love with. I know he’s suffering, too. I’m begging him to message his therapist and he just won’t do it. I don’t know what to do. 

I talk to my therapist with a messaging app. I’ve hinted more that my “intermittent suicidal ideations” aren’t so intermittent but I think I was too subtle. I don’t want admitted to a hospital. I don’t have time or money for that. I can’t handle the stigma around it. I don’t know how worried I should be about my ideations. They’re almost constantly playing my head and I’m afraid to tell my therapist how frequently I think about suicide and that I’ve been cutting. Maybe it’s so bad because I don’t sleep well and people tell me I’m supposed to eat more than once a day. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m flipping out all the time. I’ve been living like this since January. 

I can’t see a point in any of this. We’re all gunna fucking die. Even living life with a pay it forward/trickle down good karma sort of belief- the people everyone “helps” are going to die too. The people they help will die. Everyone’s going to die. Dreams fail and hope becomes meaningless. I don’t see a point in staying alive just to die later, especially after making so many more connections to people and spreading around grief and pain when I finally get to check out. ",1.3467788649706485,3.2866546602739746,2.93887801696021,92.56671232876712,80.4794520547945,6.217090671885193,22.30071754729289,7.3011,0.6685840834964121,4083,130,914,56,105,1342,364,1095,0.185,0.6859999999999999,0.13,-0.9978,5,0,2,1,3,1,96.0,1,1,4,11,53,65,12,6,52,1,98,25,10,8,9,162,187,68,11,23,24,3,9,7,1,12,10,3,6,7,56,49,1,4,38,2,6,16,40,38,1,3,23,15,132,27,129,142,25,100,3,6,2,4,68,44,5,19,42,585,188,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330083939775729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314148562125265,0.0,0.031819324372753865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845669663723475,0.07405502255953958,0.0,0.0,0.0781579336997271,0.03198324692152453,0.10418785025651536,0.05071067765216687,0.045937345867188686,0.03539346184758208,0.0,0.0,0.07357309105081275,0.04540991552247328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247216215652482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035829579792773465,0.0,0.0898967546509501,0.0,0.06641890783771932,0.0,0.0,0.053649425610108416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25900826064004234,0.04345691571028636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042561083700881366,0.0,0.04678769309662917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494493816591686,0.0,0.0,0.07948976944284691,0.03738203835750327,0.0,0.0,0.09360971066306682,0.1892807533117586,0.08914436479470232,0.0,0.0911284686244642,0.0,0.03537986653007612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690603373433841,0.06519350263295343,0.039900790274332014,0.18911079759509394,0.06977420945477426,0.033266550988294716,0.04585757251077088,0.045820520987214494,0.0,0.036781469455167116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042687481728790604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151842465005617,0.0,0.0,0.041312263759867636,0.04096174785568624,0.0,0.0,0.14086381441478446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091207335442167,0.09203527829843212,0.17325515503121333,0.27430793875864745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038408556639033,0.0,0.14689549168510674,0.14224521799854115,0.12506445632720498,0.14691318644683318,0.03680941375939717,0.0,0.046533087937010935,0.0,0.03536176274680886,0.03754024223259926,0.0,0.08329302782064246,0.04216982496394354,0.08357360134853511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441247000888523,0.0,0.0487144332980534,0.033199963415119084,0.0,0.061152805970341874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04429629180504443,0.028185195858612944,0.0,0.08851797569663263,0.0,0.04618525564363943,0.09008457728453284,0.0,0.14418034000837976,0.0,0.04345691571028636,0.0,0.07863961848327597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959975181216819,0.0,0.04181349542424954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03552108023786833,0.07913090804146994,0.0,0.041642887065017314,0.08419077186410008,0.06629012440600097,0.03786564902163084,0.13017495539507956,0.0,0.12808704343479346,0.10322105140829256,0.09350688037176068,0.0832481512114514,0.0,0.03524249247891215,0.0640422433969882,0.0,0.0,0.029440473393880024,0.044333709061739134,0.033217051589341844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284566285778774,0.09099425074398604,0.09440084030164396,0.0,0.04323213040070519,0.0,0.13372684519138384,0.07271004314601293,0.0,0.0,0.2897632961345005,0.0828996896949828,0.10660711738134644,0.0408659300596942,0.09906305757430596,0.19403053920626026,0.0,0.0,0.07948976944284691,0.0,0.11295848297533775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580995527276208,0.0,0.17173268435326808,0.033015410440008434,0.0,0.0,0.03739803440687856,0.0,0.0,0.0928765135573715,0.0,0.04009516727502672,0.0,0.060561908476615876,0.04224076348411284,0.0,0.029547210415241443,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyNameIsDuhg,2018/03/19,Can I get some insight? So I'm a 27yo m and I litterally just learned how often people use innuendos in regular conversation. Im kinda freaking out! I feel like I'm stupid or have a problem. I think back on many social situations (that i now realize were totally misinterpreted) and wonder how many times I mislead someone by my unintentional use of a f****d up innuendo that i didnt understand or someone mislead me the same way. Is kinda making me feel crazy and im getting dellusional about some of it. Plz help.,3.7187878787878788,6.03851865656566,6.340404040404043,69.19727272727275,74.55555555555556,9.248484848484848,32.21212121212121,9.725611199111238,3.6826848484848487,413,21,72,12,9,148,70,99,0.12,0.81,0.069,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,4,0,5,0,0,5,1,28,17,8,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,10,1,8,15,4,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,8,4,46,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987339529577248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971042265594728,0.13924340510776928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036643666354159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064374750122307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210714718299104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952229496824534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010362283911486,0.3952153364467341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512572469565115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650209433179413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21908647485380744,0.0,0.198685717346863,0.33029241961957245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248901548663946,0.0,0.0,0.11365331267516278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290769156879032,0.0,0.33667850247015524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471011032333598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211371067860372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,izobellaa,2018/03/19,"[US] Worried about my therapist choices, please help me understand how to ensure I am not paying for something ineffective Hi, I went to a psychiatrist a few weeks back and given medication for anxiety along with a referral for therapy. I really liked the psychiatrist- he seemed to very accurately catch my though processes and talk about them. It was only after the appointment that I realized that he does not do therapy and someone else would be seeing me from the clinic for therapy. (New to US and did not know that psychiatrists do not do therapy, you have to shop around separately for therapist and psychiatrist) I met the therapist today, and although she is very nice and very non-judgmental, I felt her solutions were not effective for me. We discussed OCD that I have arising from my anxiety. I have pretty bad, almost incapacitating OCD in that under high stress situations most of my time is spent in doing irrational rituals (example: if I get turbulence in flights I have to a lot of stupid actions or the plane will go down according to me.) Her response, word for word, was ""Realize that these are feelings, everyone has feelings, fear is also a feeling. You need to let these feelings pass. You need to think to yourself that everything is going to be okay. You need to think that the universe is has a plan for you and is guiding you."" I don't know how I am going to put this into something more practical that I can do everytime OCD strikes me. And I do not agree with 'universe has a plan' etc thinking, at least not from a therapist. Now I am worried and feeling like I am never gonna get better. Please help me understand what I need to do.",6.813765704584043,7.4605014903225815,7.559609507640065,69.92415110356538,64.74193548387096,11.687606112054329,36.31578947368421,11.418023490513045,4.507096774193546,1322,62,231,40,19,441,163,310,0.107,0.7959999999999999,0.097,-0.4738,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,3,6,1,5,9,10,1,2,14,1,36,2,0,3,1,55,65,17,0,6,9,0,6,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,14,16,0,0,17,1,3,8,9,5,0,0,9,7,40,5,41,50,6,25,1,0,1,0,21,9,0,6,10,178,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881810703567939,0.0,0.0,0.07042290831094787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473391632089596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839358164705999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771401026486171,0.07352783973699263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788341588420047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770633856155425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735642490954172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982120716579384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414672652234674,0.07914417617674363,0.0,0.0,0.0990938931916844,0.22263320308044424,0.06291129485773213,0.08455304028192227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201720549348304,0.0,0.15014247757158278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805180021283407,0.0930420191717365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679281274147096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004905286955904,0.0,0.0860449952377897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486690677454466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871289647199185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611865338409935,0.06791861055684324,0.08505053696079001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697488976569002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333060059314147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959040591834493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852632959106768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056414578876636624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017377215485264,0.08016806276196996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898503852445614,0.0,0.0,0.07461439119460786,0.13558839530610492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087437786786196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078065737192912,0.0,0.0,0.4028249066151959,0.408985676302654,0.0,0.1692791414763209,0.08652017146148308,0.0,0.05134948444941642,0.0,0.08347219319984478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335066717603107,0.2118547605966721,0.0,0.0,0.21798037098226986,0.0,0.0,0.07063778257274475,0.0,0.0,0.08163407657215888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886185847090175,0.0,0.06255650385543528,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sir-Badger,2018/03/19,"Redditors living and dealing with avoidant personality disorder, could you please share your experience? I just found out about it and it scarily matches so many of my feelings. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, so I need your guys' help. ",3.5846666666666667,6.521738133333336,4.440000000000005,79.26000000000003,78.77777777777777,8.044444444444443,29.0,8.841846274778883,2.8304666666666667,196,9,35,5,5,63,36,45,0.058,0.789,0.154,0.5423,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,6,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,7,1,7,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,0,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992261469889913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274893847253037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937451081821163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32654867270950777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787112698738716,0.0,0.0,0.14406661366984527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124054966645184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28212049224991204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909791852582165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25159394727237594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888691743760741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21126823709354864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487854726683454,0.0,0.3127620292125441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229011878727156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Phenom696,2018/03/19,Inaudible messages pop up in my head telling me what to do I have those inaudible voices in my head telling me what to do.. if I follow them everything seems to go all right.. if I don't follow stuff goes bad.. Please help! How do I get rid of them ,1.0701923076923059,2.9514102500000017,2.5352307692307683,95.40976923076923,81.11538461538461,6.467692307692308,21.93846153846154,7.554174236665415,0.6469569230769232,191,6,45,3,5,62,34,52,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.6476,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,2,1,1,5,10,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,10,0,7,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,3,0,30,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240138315894024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24112486123292426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017225889185114,0.0,0.15247735554063233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506929830738685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798314501439019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945056509021912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22912114800396946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24424428862110775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071318218383141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690006172524101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heatedchimera,2018/03/19,"I don't know what's happening to me? I've been on Wellbutrin and Prozac for my depression for a couple months now, and also started taking a low dose of lithium two days ago (doctor said it'll help with the suicidal thoughts). For a bit of background, my parents had a very abusive relationship when I was younger, my dad was an alcoholic and would often emotionally/physically abuse my mom. Things are much better now, but it did affect me quite a bit as a child. I'm back from college after dropping the semester because of my depression getting worse, but since I've been back weird things have kinda been happening, I hear my parents fighting really loudly sometimes in my room even when they're asleep, and since yesterday I've been hearing other random sounds that other people aren't (my cousin playing the piano, dad talking and playing the mouth organ). Even when the noises stop it's like I want them to come back, and sometimes when I think really hard they come back at will. When I'm in bed sometimes I also feel insects walking all over me even when there aren't any. Also my dreams have become really weird and bizarre, and they feel much more real than they ever did, they're usually about something random but negative happening to me, and make me wake up several times in the middle of the night, but I feel really weird when I'm in that half asleep, half awake stage, kind of like I'm not in reality anymore. Even in general, throughout the day, I find myself zoning out and feeling like I'm kind of floating in the air, like I'm high on something, and often I question whether what I'm seeing/feeling/experiencing is real or imaginary/in my dream, and I have to ask people around me to reassure me that I'm not hearing things. I have also started feeling really nihilistic lately, and can't help thinking that nothing matters because everything we do is insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe, and humans will only exist for a fraction of time as a whole, or I think about how all of us are nothing but a simulation of some sort. My thoughts race a lot randomly, and sometimes random songs start to play in my head. My trembling has gotten a lot worse too, my hands tremble even when I'm typing or holding something in one hand and my legs shake a lot randomly and sometimes make it very difficult for me to walk down stairs. My girlfriend dumped me more than 6 months ago, and I still haven't gotten over it, my psychologist reckons this might be what triggered everything.

When I told my doctor this he told me to stop taking the lithium, and prescribed me Olanzapine which I will start tonight. I don't really like my doctor much, and I feel like he barely hears me out before prescribing more meds and is very close minded, he'll just assume something and won't be prepared to listen to anything I say and assures me that he's right. Almost three months of antidepressants haven't been helping at all, and I'm starting to think it might be something other than just depression/anxiety but everyone tells me I'm just being paranoid, but they don't know what's going on in my head. Would appreciate any kind of help/comments from people who might be going through something similar. Sorry for the rant, just feel like I needed to let all of this out.",9.545423786739576,7.569537057416269,8.951826725905672,70.76653708133973,60.403508771929815,11.700364547732965,38.97977899293689,10.208560254849939,3.901462109820004,2633,104,469,43,28,840,271,627,0.131,0.774,0.095,-0.9598,2,0,7,0,3,0,61.0,2,0,5,2,38,29,2,3,26,0,45,15,9,5,6,109,102,51,1,4,17,6,10,7,1,11,6,10,2,2,26,33,1,3,19,6,0,7,12,12,0,5,17,20,61,17,67,68,17,80,0,3,0,0,40,32,0,22,46,317,87,5,0.0,0.12740945988267682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532184462655027,0.057460234961133935,0.05383956862319703,0.0,0.0,0.17198879484275942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312637931713199,0.0,0.04113136699452685,0.0,0.053322104156310286,0.0,0.0,0.04424540068220503,0.047863749006760666,0.05026459267152328,0.0,0.0,0.16537304832685135,0.0,0.06555134447915703,0.05938107954409471,0.04575148898215557,0.0,0.0,0.047552263735743366,0.1173985895278555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263047690466736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949181448966982,0.0,0.06935012786457713,0.0,0.09261833431573337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509744170459786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17756194236866493,0.0486350449434279,0.0,0.05137637180731085,0.09664405948245304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030236073540174,0.11523279190065165,0.0,0.0,0.049141776186160384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02809087386689625,0.0,0.0611136924796865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263710640448682,0.0,0.04816438906536265,0.0,0.11036026136133116,0.0,0.2423958473525913,0.0,0.1441547028842827,0.05680745488537356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167969186314288,0.059097528105987465,0.0,0.060651162791635474,0.0,0.0,0.0549800783978689,0.0,0.18387380562122566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713153906792105,0.0,0.0,0.07177935972161925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972266640013445,0.0,0.0,0.17111386888202554,0.05428902486975446,0.06297089185301326,0.1287481654325845,0.0,0.11857410023757517,0.039867315783561834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05045639178348603,0.0,0.1031811690457264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643369736869412,0.04089198689674455,0.0,0.0,0.11940308206174305,0.0,0.0,0.1118251489341804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06023099248221798,0.057187487957850426,0.0,0.12239651751369075,0.20666589179432165,0.0,0.0,0.057725298259898826,0.0,0.04591645536499333,0.05114443005035693,0.04275742608948645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060741050171546164,0.0,0.08895271517603999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24835332631102855,0.2658831322532353,0.060187402112317136,0.19028168251950228,0.0,0.04293814423562208,0.08990271264155347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881202689752407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808517118131673,0.04321562489944728,0.04699445270728899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071605896037329,0.1378060834313454,0.0,0.08536948446707024,0.06270357301389104,0.0,0.0,0.10275274361462172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052522238813025895,0.0,0.0646747021506114,0.0,0.059216407622414986,0.1330894385214918,0.031712983964180944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060028583881112964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958569122359796,0.07638862101638141,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NKBN,2018/03/19,"Please help!! I have a very big problem with my girlfriend smoking. It is driving me extremely crazy and I really need advice. Thanks! Hello r/mentalhealth !

I am fairly new to reddit so I am not too sure if this is the right place to post this.

*If you have any ideas/advice/tips for me, please help me!! This is driving me insane*

The reason for this post is that I hope to find some people to give me advice on this topic which is slowly making me go crazy and killing my relationship.

As you can read it in the title, I have an extremely big problem with my girlfriend smoking. Sure, I think most people dislike their partner‘s smoking habits but in my case it is a bit more extreme.

**Background:**
I am 19 years old and in a great relationship with my girlfriend of 17 years. We love each other very much and I am having the best time of my life so far. When I met my girlfriend 1 and a half years ago, she just started smoking. Not excessively much but around 5 cigarettes a day. At the beginning I did not care that much and once I even bought her a pack because she was underage and struggled to get some. (Which I regret doing very badly)


**Fast forward to today:**
My girlfriend stopped smoking half a year ago for me because I started having a big problem with it. So whats the problem? The problem is that she still smokes on rare occasions like parties or evenings out with her smoking friends. 
I am extremely grateful and proud that she stopped smoking just for me and try my best to show her how much I appreciate it. 

The hate of her smoking grew over time to the state where I was close to simply ending the relationship. Although she smokes very rarely (like once or twice a month) I have a huge problem with that. Every single time we argue about this topic after it happened. 


**The problem: **
I really don‘t understand why this is such a big thing for me. It is driving me crazy. After it happened, I feel very depressed and can‘t stop thinking about it. I get so sad that I could start to cry any second. I think about the relationship and ask myself whether or not it is worth the pain. I think that it would all be easier to simply end it (we nearly broke up 3 days ago because of this). I thought about attending therapy but I just could not overcome myself to do it. I even thought about hurting myself.

My girlfriend wants answers. Why do I have such a big problem with it? Why do I still care so much although she only smokes so rarely? 
I don‘t have answers but I always tell her that it is because my whole family are smokers and i really f*cking hate it. I don‘t need another person smoking close to me. But I start to feel that this is not the true reason, but rather something deeper.

Additionally I feel like it is very unfair of me to control her life like that. She is young and wants to try things, I get that. But no matter how much I try to ignore it, it never works. I hate giving her a hard time and make her regret it when it happened but I just can not control myself enough.




**My theory:**
I heard about people having extreme fears or issues with ordinary things as a result of a trauma or bad memories from the past. (e.g. fear of snakes after being abused as a child, snakes=male genitals (not me))
What if my smoking girlfriend is not the problem itself but much more a symptom from a past trauma? What if my brain connects my smoking girlfriend with a memory of my childhood (I did not have the easiest) which is suppressed  to process it?
I don‘t know, I am just VERY desperate for answers and maybe curation.
I feel like this is the only problem we have in our otherwise very healthy relationship and will soon lead to breaking up with the love of my life.


So PLEASE dear reddit community, I am desperate for help and advice. If anyone is willing to help, I would appreciate it so much!!
It is killing me and my relationship. I can‘t live like that any longer without having answers.

You guys are the best!
Thanks 


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mentalhealth,Ohmahgoooodness,2018/03/19,My anxiety is going to get me Laid tonight! Worked myself up so much today I’m gonna be wide awake when my husband comes home at 3AM. And I’ll be winning a bet so I’ll get new shoes. anxiety for the win!whoop whoop,0.2059574468085117,2.1940559787234086,2.1355744680851068,96.49400000000004,84.95744680851064,5.4621276595744686,22.16595744680852,6.742157984588678,0.39285021276595744,169,6,40,2,5,56,39,47,0.07400000000000001,0.852,0.07400000000000001,0.3786,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,9,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277227448663544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29711636825075105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360410901604744,0.0,0.1960248825950152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34598093788657736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535544614720191,0.0,0.0,0.33312401244544304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269419914323752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25110445621993754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gffgh63,2018/03/19,"[advice] I'm way too self conscious to show my face at school You know when you accidentally bite the inside of your lip and it make a little bump, so then you keep chewing on it by accident? I have anxiety so I am a chronic lip chewer. I had a rather stressful day and right before heading to bed I realized that my lower right lip was extremely swollen. Seriously, it's hideous and at least three times bigger than normal. There's no way I can go to school tomorrow like this. It's so noticeable and it's mortifying. I have literally zero friends that go to school with me who I could try to ""laugh it off"" with. I've been away for most of the school year working on my mental health and I've only been back at school for a couple days now. I'm deathly afraid of judgement and being stared at ...school is miserable enough for me without looking like a Pablo Picasso piece. I get bullied already without having the world's most deformed-looking fat lip. My whole mouth looks lopsided. If I stay home then it'll heal in a day or two, whereas if I have to go, it ll be an endless cycle of nervous lip biting. My dad doesn t want to let me stay home because I can't afford another unexcused absence. What should I say to try to make him understand? Or is there anywhere I'd be able to get a doctors note or something, maybe from a therapist? i had ice on my lip for a while, but if anything it's gotten even bigger now. I don't want to hear a lecture about how I'm overdramatizing or how my education is important. I have issues lmao, if I have to go to school today I'm gonna inwardly be depressed and outwardly look like Kevin the sea cucumber after he got attacked by jellyfish 😙 Pls help",3.2888596491228057,4.815408061403513,4.772807017543858,83.40464912280704,73.64912280701755,7.873684210526315,28.456140350877188,8.515128840125781,2.0766385964912275,1335,54,269,24,27,447,197,342,0.083,0.836,0.08,0.2961,2,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,0,1,15,12,1,4,15,0,26,16,10,4,0,37,50,25,1,10,12,1,0,3,1,3,6,2,3,1,14,9,2,1,4,1,0,4,5,7,0,3,7,6,31,5,41,34,6,40,0,2,4,0,13,17,0,10,18,169,45,10,0.08587927962711417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392023812218491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476992059209036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005191264136064,0.06569741385281717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067132974426397,0.0,0.0,0.09770007851119043,0.08068641018268763,0.06603586502168034,0.0,0.05235121175803389,0.0,0.07307694165485044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856761672166699,0.0950237894573974,0.0,0.1661550922318424,0.0,0.07396769770269229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790108171501337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887362528333021,0.0,0.056722454246932785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635011840714444,0.0,0.08973675813723095,0.0,0.19522869480345853,0.0,0.0686855051393001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881369170701914,0.09128565834745908,0.09679218965568613,0.0,0.057563070876533375,0.0,0.17228783926890767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963565579338695,0.0,0.07633344964712524,0.0,0.0,0.04719700614587142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781738191793538,0.0,0.12586883428751125,0.08607359948264103,0.0,0.0,0.288467862550035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465017202926793,0.0,0.08627727934516602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654611484199391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414346013700734,0.0,0.09777412905950232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653150620249719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668087113028738,0.0,0.06829465010136962,0.0,0.6084009110099211,0.0,0.0,0.08959081822602083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611406513894254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830717709615145,0.0,0.0,0.09837442465706124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971246279197857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007689857344269,0.0,0.08140351548590755,0.0,0.0,0.11661278720568405,0.0,0.08389157744830146,0.08940335878729064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130764835896584,0.13633394963314435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095881148777788,0.0,0.16556912190259582,0.0,0.06252113838582299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055303440417077736
mentalhealth,pebisman1,2018/03/19,"help don't know what I should do these days, I'm afraid of getting kicked out of 6th form because my attendance is so shit but I cannot Stand being there. the people are horrid and being around anyone makes me feel even worse about myself. I fucking hate myself I can't get into words how much I hate myself this body I'm in which I'll be judged on. i want to cut the flesh off my body I hate it should I just drop out? i don't know what I should do i entertain the idea of suicide but can't bring myself to do it my family couldn't take that and I've seen what it does to people I can't put them through this I don't leave the house, haven't done for a couple of years now, on occasion I force myself into school but it's hellish and makes me fuckin despise myself even more. am on meds these days, not sure if they're helping, and have anxiety and body dismorphic disorder to clarify but what I think about myself is true it's not delusions I can see it and I can feel it intrusive thoughts ever present in my mind I can't relax its exhausting I can't look people in the eye I'm ashamed of myself and how I look I see professionals nothing helps I breakdown regularly what should I do?? what's the point??????? I can't function as is what am I going to do in my future? everything is so shit and ugly in the world I don't know if I can cope I'm so tired of it all",-0.4008278322925953,1.794597132203393,1.67763157894737,96.86183541480824,91.23728813559322,4.867975022301517,16.9157002676182,6.4704718818221325,-0.29730508474576256,1074,27,249,13,38,356,140,295,0.265,0.6829999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9975,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,1,0,14,17,10,2,8,0,37,11,7,4,4,46,65,20,1,8,9,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,22,13,0,0,8,2,0,4,15,13,0,0,3,8,43,4,30,54,4,29,1,0,6,2,4,16,4,2,7,171,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815249016708795,0.0,0.0,0.08057319125599703,0.0,0.0,0.10258128946309704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024461708757705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38399174260053226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750248715343404,0.0,0.14863076312250711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206634298895026,0.0,0.1008406721665677,0.11792277921652534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221986063128493,0.1042343261220056,0.0,0.0,0.10356347388561198,0.0,0.10863087541777418,0.0,0.11652995344497324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653052062225887,0.12040837264980694,0.0,0.06548924299193444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413044908656773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317135976219284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296274772284633,0.0,0.13008338234579858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998618253882052,0.0,0.0,0.12201450044516765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935324309259124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383707774414315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799724753351074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635190076830257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470909161739447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110568620183987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396629643543137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089318885888488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158404151218854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662136665705868,0.1836506479967503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23656885785598006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604557060990385,0.0,0.10860519739360654,0.0,0.0866404431872013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383628543310418,0.0,0.09148167432721314,0.0,0.1324427218347361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796707017890928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743168625209074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420590403291086
mentalhealth,skoolgirl101,2018/03/19,"How do you cope with uni/work while facing adversity and struggling with your mental health? I am currently going through a challenging time and hope to get some insight from anyone who have coped with life while having anxiety, depression, PTSD or any other mental health challenges. 

My younger sister is currently going through chemo for cancer treatment and it has been hard on the family. The combination of stress from being a part time carer, struggling with my anxiety and depression from PTSD since a year ago and managing final year of uni makes my anxiety worse. I am seeing a psychologist  but it can still be a struggle for me to study for my tests or do assignments. I am still attempting meditation, going to the gym at least once a week, having a timetable structure and eating well but I am constantly exhausted and it takes me a longer time to do the work because i find it difficult and mentally I'm not there.
 
TLDR: So redditors, how do you cope with life while facing adversity and struggling with your mental health?",8.151657754010696,8.776603524064171,7.7619251336898385,69.69229946524065,61.88770053475936,11.505882352941176,35.18181818181819,11.20814326018867,4.223870588235295,837,34,136,22,11,265,106,187,0.2,0.764,0.036000000000000004,-0.9808,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,4,7,15,0,5,12,0,17,10,2,3,0,27,26,19,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,15,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,11,1,0,1,2,15,4,22,23,3,21,0,2,1,0,6,2,0,4,16,99,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362309700330468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182318104659692,0.0,0.2423901453288405,0.0,0.0,0.07384986138274448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438314225782167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413445473768576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193553286548947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807255723761017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956630693700748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569825983060228,0.0965320236262005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518052277002401,0.0,0.18007372334238755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461208576560357,0.0,0.0,0.3367977930280533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049015109949159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920081964695678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705001669279537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257483742296576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247865691482403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437291756044947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469212396591993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416307388347209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736747294663763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686917435835618,0.0,0.12098391545358955,0.44165527684239203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941083901201612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475836430985906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471958583778998,0.0,0.09496236614688924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537808662546447,0.0,0.10763274504177428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602776906776234
mentalhealth,AromaticDeparture,2018/03/19,"How did you turn yourself around with self compassion? For a couple of weeks straight I suffered with terrible depression episodes. Feeling like I was being tortured everyday. Today, out of nowhere I brought up the fact that I was in fact a bully... to myself. Then, most of my depression went away after the realization! Pretty much the only way online to help stop it was through self compassion.
Seemed solid enough. But, I have the feeling that it's going to be hard with the reoccurring bullying and depression in the back of my mind. If you succeeded, or even made progress, with self compassion: how did you do it? I  really want to know.",4.418951048951051,7.047605658119661,4.79578865578866,79.62370629370633,73.61538461538461,8.698989898989899,30.2944832944833,9.339509955726095,3.1435709401709406,510,23,88,13,11,161,78,117,0.195,0.588,0.217,-0.4694,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,2,5,8,1,0,8,0,9,0,0,3,2,23,19,7,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,8,3,12,2,21,9,3,18,0,4,0,0,7,7,0,4,8,67,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902516564933616,0.0,0.0,0.1572816888557043,0.12872344118595724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185229483546104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43255479042035105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297321416020942,0.0,0.11056884771299708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692891140883332,0.11959354248664268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513962376768123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996121715937688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122074582656839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200093074841577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178520102792658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840183356881676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903044771969974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306129584019634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731838285707794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031018103856888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724337101956624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523984308648692,0.5239170449391135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995734686223352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867953928581316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208761995017625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987392919812709,0.1328776047795365,0.13428149381410318,0.0,0.0,0.15518530379907464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mmement0,2018/03/19,"getting screened for meds this week I dont know what to expect, i have anxiety/depression and an autoimmune disease. I currently am hyperthyroid because when i get anxious/stressed/depressed my antibodies attack my thyroid. it feel like ive been screaming for days and counseling has helped but enough. 

is there anything i should know about being screened,being on meds, or anything else? ",6.508258706467661,9.456941343283583,5.67246268656717,74.28292288557216,68.40298507462687,8.645771144278607,39.524875621890544,9.2995712137729,4.397887562189054,318,19,47,7,6,96,54,67,0.066,0.904,0.03,-0.2732,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,9,1,0,0,0,9,14,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,8,1,5,11,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436076505908895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549006175956322,0.0,0.0,0.2453174316107837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144989242482694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906758007603093,0.0,0.3714544737138357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527241480231589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013646621618645,0.0,0.0,0.2228099502840978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903219691207366,0.15405062214469595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253221426509103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445364724189371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370161519593332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534900830442663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479046654862598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729704399958899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HoneyPotterGang,2018/03/19,"Telling Family Members Hello Everyone,

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice/stories of telling their family, parents in particular, that you are depressed?

A little background I am a middle sibling in a family with 3 children. I am 20 years old and go to community college in the United States while still living with my parents. I am sure that my parents would be supportive, that’s not really a problem. My concern is that I will just feel like more of a burden. I don’t want to make their lives any harder. 

I have had some really tough times recently, way more frequent and severe than in the past. I don’t know why but many nights I lay awake unable to sleep. I feel like I could always mask the way I’ve been feeling but recently I can’t handle it anymore. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can take it. 

I don’t really know what to do so I was just wondering what information I could get from here. I figure I have to try and change something.

Thanks",3.4345312499999987,5.28361755729167,4.884791666666668,81.41437500000002,73.94791666666666,8.133333333333335,26.583333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.1487958333333332,769,28,146,16,16,257,116,192,0.043,0.828,0.129,0.9197,3,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,0,7,10,0,0,8,0,24,1,1,2,1,31,39,9,0,6,7,3,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,10,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,3,25,6,15,30,4,20,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,4,12,99,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618069390119104,0.0,0.0,0.1572112333285523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463488055018665,0.0808236812958174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227959787045027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845794822326763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995580712636306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045183490824552,0.0,0.0,0.3269057778445013,0.0,0.17533834154704564,0.1651559897970561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039135216498999,0.0,0.06569283928530623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905768212573277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129435214115097,0.11585221410640265,0.20413735162406016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715766714246335,0.11719079266863418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497243955486132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847400973033126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129295954172505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850492661358769,0.0,0.11034437006954713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106046565176707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22215102155562805,0.0,0.2282636754595268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058455102402522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567414421342642,0.0,0.0,0.08898734194874876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231085519558804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117091798452948,0.10894283476151706,0.0,0.08690979540877418,0.0,0.2020626739270915,0.1064203551725386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740184690992408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847847465483243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817836966761262,0.1835009807630497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430259710220416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507062930551146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211229268012725,0.0,0.0,0.07443659912598538
mentalhealth,amethyst-echo,2018/03/19,"I'm a grown ass woman who still cuts Seriously.

It's not only embarrassing but shameful. I'm 22 and yet I still wear long sleeves to cover the mess like I'm some teenager. Ugh.

Okay, rant over.",0.46799999999999997,2.8442198000000047,2.575000000000003,90.85000000000002,88.5,5.2,20.5,6.742157984588678,0.3536000000000001,152,5,33,2,5,51,34,40,0.385,0.473,0.142,-0.9073,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,1,2,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,3,1,6,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,5,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397809536264697,0.0,0.0,0.4343441221078552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732768627080319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7839098555543147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chronosthetitan,2018/03/19,"Psychosis? Can narcism get along with bipolar. Checked into rehab for anxiety and npd, there’s this bipolar 1 who’s beginning to annoy me me greatly. They are psychotic and manic, an incident occurred where they were agitated and took out it out on me. I intend to ask the therapist “why do we entertain her delusions in group?” In front of her and greatly validating her delusions by telling her she’s probably a huge pain in the backside  to her family and they should ditch her!",6.361385767790264,7.6398584157303375,6.900617977528093,72.00838014981275,65.96629213483146,10.427715355805246,38.428838951310865,10.504223727775694,4.488167041198502,385,21,64,10,6,126,65,89,0.122,0.8009999999999999,0.077,-0.6439,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,3,0,2,5,1,0,4,0,5,4,0,1,0,13,9,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,11,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,15,3,15,6,0,12,0,0,0,0,15,9,0,0,1,49,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049061959561082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504056448446174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525072111184505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994171664448898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5906159809608942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850136203593195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887899691179773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411462440747866,0.0,0.0,0.3109970429869999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975936440961817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416949441549795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dielian,2018/03/19,"Looking for info (not for school) about Münchausen syndrome So I’m trying to write a little script about a character with this syndrome, but I would really like to know more about these almost unknown and uncommon syndrome. I’m a little worried that some people might get offended by this, but since I knew about this problem my mind is filled with questions about “how are we not that aware about this? Someone could have it and we don’t have any clue”
Also first hand testimonies, if you want to, i’m not with any big studio or any school or university.
Just a random guy in Morelos, Mexico ;)
Thanks in advance",6.771068322981364,7.349251026086961,6.31105590062112,79.07652173913044,64.82608695652175,9.006211180124225,31.211180124223603,8.841846274778883,2.493161490683229,488,17,87,7,7,151,78,115,0.07400000000000001,0.799,0.127,0.7644,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,0,2,10,4,1,0,4,0,8,1,1,1,0,31,17,10,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,1,2,6,2,17,13,2,8,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,8,2,60,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906714223657798,0.0,0.0,0.15227345325309713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884627360530981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202953200661914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196546212912907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948309417529598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885391112118139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464617409114342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302632392112993,0.3816883150712186,0.0,0.0,0.15989922152483615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20199842854480124,0.19226315989291454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200861218365906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18219981944621064,0.0,0.0,0.2133064825883285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198364062776468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3854168658433236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751185568197532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613365775723598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530699075712375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927813676850078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231070223152327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19337395669866755,0.0,0.1352641504586507,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway_for_res,2018/03/19,Friend of mine Hello i'm from the us. A friend of mine is going through a severely rough period of her life she has informed me that she's cutting and i can only assume it's only getting worse. She has been going to therapy for a long time now but she claims  it's not working for her i'm completely lost about what i should do.,1.0642857142857132,3.0799145714285707,3.1442857142857146,90.33071428571432,81.85714285714286,6.2857142857142865,21.42857142857143,7.447530270364453,0.7689999999999997,260,8,56,4,7,88,49,70,0.13,0.807,0.063,-0.5407,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,4,0,7,1,0,0,0,6,13,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,1,12,2,9,10,0,6,0,1,0,0,11,0,0,1,4,40,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639511880145348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38899710746902827,0.0,0.131527042404162,0.0,0.2861464282078872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781584467972295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22278753842982066,0.0,0.0,0.27481080626590504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829287846325597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844016430190533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287893814475717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679528208642634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028197817037113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327429228172404,0.0,0.2565509696272064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ControversThrowaway,2018/03/19,"TL;DR: going back to work with someone who broke me, when no anti depressant supply and other shit on my mind and needs to hold on and act normal. So I'll try to make this as short as I can.

I knew a women for a few months which I really liked. And I mean... Really. Like, deep feelings, invested in her emotionally and all that. I saw a long term relationship potential with her.

We didn't 'date', but we worked together (coworkers, but where you live where you work kinda job, with dorms etc.) in some place for a few months to get to know each other REALLY well which means I loved everything I saw.
Ok that's it for now about my feelings for her.

Now this:
my anti depressants supply ran out a week ago and I'm not in a very good state... Tommorow I'll get a resupply tho.

Three weeks ago i asked her out, finally, but it didn't happen. So a week later asked again.
After it didn't happen I asked her maybe she wants to tell me if she still into meeting for a beer.

She said she is not in the mood for a relationship and I said well, ok and that's it.

I finished working there two weeks ago but tommorow I'm coming back for a two or three months again, she knows.
We ""broke the ice"" and kept texting normally few days ago to ease the awkwardness.

I never stopped thinking about her and i feel really bad since the so called ""rejection"".
My overall depression isn't helping, my lack of pills isn't helping too and everything makes me feel like total shite.

I need to be in a stable mood tommorow and the next two to three months, hold everything inside, act like I don't care, act like i'm ok, like I'm ok with my general mental state, with her telling me she doesn't want anything with me, and with everything alltogether.

How do I streighten my fucking head? i feel like a mess.",2.193405081455225,4.179957130919224,3.5095517852620937,89.27715286570442,77.96935933147631,7.137030471849414,22.020849160124925,8.101407402915765,1.0495043639740018,1386,40,295,25,33,452,172,359,0.125,0.73,0.145,0.872,1,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,3,2,0,4,21,29,2,1,18,4,11,6,2,3,3,68,50,27,0,8,8,0,5,7,0,0,1,2,1,1,14,28,1,4,11,1,1,6,11,11,2,6,10,9,47,16,39,39,10,54,0,6,2,2,34,15,2,4,38,186,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734101019663209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345418282376036,0.0,0.21625967470716986,0.0,0.0,0.11858420853757792,0.0643828407635587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787369673030541,0.0,0.07861782145922057,0.0,0.0,0.06642262388782992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972896193185438,0.0,0.1992417503702155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673730920404002,0.0,0.0,0.08599698009937605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772025894070547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19494327745627768,0.11017344977202843,0.0,0.08446920159160692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128607958822647,0.08057259821566587,0.0,0.04382285340226051,0.06467541760871971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637456681281135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913613723602615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336914945605898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651883978036203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475424100697193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637011282187887,0.0,0.06808870899379635,0.06823908792156927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959393341746344,0.0,0.10294178704499643,0.0,0.07746641073425052,0.16798873416790644,0.0,0.0,0.07770779202461202,0.0,0.0778581650588274,0.0,0.2461908507737447,0.0,0.0,0.11435077569272208,0.059471257472064665,0.0,0.08200635564935581,0.0,0.15110100580471436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805625515075582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19759214259794744,0.0,0.0,0.16557253738750274,0.0,0.0,0.14669673976475506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915133771388698,0.06378540779856069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533425276923277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157939158489663,0.06446662338175514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479342701444666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049408369443221294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052351987331456185,0.0,0.2259730294608006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063623046566366,0.090961837900564,0.0,0.2474089337339164,0.0,0.13866060321774887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245452440099662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maparo,2018/03/19,"Would any of you like to share a story? Hello! Happy Sunday, I hope you're all doing well! I wanted to reach out to see if any of you would want to share your story on our platform. We started a company, PEAR (Positive Engagement And Response), with hopes of making the world a more connected & positive place to live. 

We have cards that we sell that are used to open up communication in a fun, non-intimidating way in hopes of bringing people closer together, and letting kids & others open up and have meaningful conversations. 10% of those profits are donated to Mental Health America, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, as we want to help out the mental health organizations as much as possible.

The other part of our company so far (which is why I'm here) is centered around our blog (and hopefully a podcast soon) where we want people to open up and share their stories with the world. Things that they have overcome, or problems they've gone through and came out stronger/grew through the experiences. I wanted to reach out to any of you on here that feel strong enough or want to have their voice heard. Most subjects are open, and If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out! 

There are so many amazing people out there who've been through hell and back, or people who can help others by sharing a little of their life, so if that's you, please contact us. Together we can hopefully help end stigmas, and create a closer connection and ability for people to open up and share personal stories and thoughts with one another.

Thank you very much, and have a great rest of your weekend!

(www.pearcards.com)",8.265112090438784,8.359376902280133,7.5962636520406175,72.7658804368653,61.736156351791536,11.132324200038324,36.29986587468864,10.718039707386858,3.919386434182795,1347,56,233,30,17,420,161,307,0.034,0.705,0.261,0.9965,0,0,0,0,0,1,49.0,10,8,4,1,12,22,1,0,13,0,20,4,1,2,1,65,43,26,1,17,6,0,1,1,0,2,3,2,0,2,12,36,0,1,4,2,3,3,1,2,1,1,5,4,25,20,50,35,8,40,1,0,1,0,38,30,1,13,7,160,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29600227774659144,0.0,0.24770561678022185,0.09548817622364483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106595444659008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002232524903496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016571491191069,0.0,0.10415255510813287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806553641117116,0.0940930925222848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907772271002819,0.0,0.0,0.04604451721691323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039799478017923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693894794746344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359280164739215,0.0,0.0,0.18311413365721246,0.0,0.0,0.4522337548881799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931187511083189,0.06432094853677325,0.0444890992205694,0.0912696998267517,0.08041087065044858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078569299467417,0.09232424733377813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18354148008864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388452023189065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170708547703242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986130580490592,0.0,0.31566034203327786,0.07951326603571877,0.09514213155568264,0.19992108194999506,0.0,0.10266058196376143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713561391703158,0.0,0.0,0.10201212805429684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256593840120865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445531964062275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960885205028328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383917344154676,0.0,0.0,0.060498642191323226,0.0,0.0,0.0722943655955458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095383576754026,0.0786497548741001,0.0,0.07513704758745901,0.32227019822988884,0.07228208611005084,0.0,0.0,0.08187715697966498,0.0,0.0821707794028486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937800736580682,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jamestheretard23,2018/03/19,Started having panic attacks Do you have any advice on what to do?I’m starting to have frequent panic/ anxiety attacks for no apparent reason.,7.727499999999999,10.642856750000004,7.773333333333331,60.70500000000001,64.83333333333334,8.133333333333335,41.16666666666667,8.841846274778883,4.891816666666667,118,7,12,2,2,38,21,24,0.406,0.594,0.0,-0.9001,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246252036245898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136902613581886,0.0,0.19277974299585424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5733740469071578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5913367345608482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590985521627687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567345948682867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Apples-And-Elephants,2018/03/19,"Invite my mentally ill brother to my wedding? Some brief background:

When I was in high school, I developed anorexia. I also suffered from anxiety and depression. I went to inpatient treatment for four months and was able to overcome my eating disorder. That was 5 years ago, and since then I have been very successful in managing my anxiety and depression. I lead a very happy and fufilling life, and that’s something I’m very proud of. 

My brother is a few years older than me. His mental illness began three years ago with bulimia. During his first round of treatment, he came out as gay, which is something he had been hiding for the first 20+ years of his life. 

Since then, his behavior has been erratic, irrational, and sometimes abusive. He has been in treatment for his eating disorder five times (three times of which he discharged against medical consent). He has not had a job at any point in the past several years and my parents have been emptying their wallets to care for him. He has been in several relationships, lived in countless places, totaled a car, gotten a DUI, etc. 

A lot of different diagnosis’ have been thrown around. Manic depression, asbergers, bipolar, etc. He has been on a wide variety of medications that seems to change frequently. 

The biggest issue is verbal abuse, particularly to my mother. He screams and swears ar her, he’s extremely manipulative, and makes threats to hurt himself in order to get what he wants from her. He has completely drained her; she is exausted and emotionally worn down. 

I originally maintained a close relationship with my brother, however, I eventually had to set certain boundaries for my own emotional health, particularly because of my own history. 

Anyway, a few weeks ago, my brother contacted me out of nowhere and basically said he hated me and that he never wanted to speak to me again. I really don’t know where inspired that action. However, he has blocked my number, blocked me on social media, etc. 

Here’s the other thing: I’m getting married in two months. Seeing that he wont speak to me, it seems like he wont be coming. Honestly, if he really hates me, I dont want him here. However, Im concerned that people will label me as the “unsupportive, selfish sibling” if my own brother isnt there. I’m also worried that several years down the line; I will regret not having him there. 

Any advice is appreciated. ",6.024374999999999,7.854390650462968,6.664814814814818,71.3241666666667,67.2638888888889,10.122222222222225,35.25925925925926,10.341088651717358,4.142223148148148,1899,94,310,51,32,622,225,432,0.171,0.762,0.067,-0.9925,6,0,2,0,1,0,67.0,0,0,1,5,11,19,3,0,15,0,38,11,0,4,3,44,61,22,0,6,4,7,1,1,0,4,8,4,0,0,14,21,2,2,4,0,0,7,8,11,0,7,20,6,46,8,49,36,11,58,0,6,2,1,46,23,0,6,27,210,60,5,0.07932184140756908,0.18796682252894975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751238538698338,0.21094207920530192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686729583088202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788314443798136,0.0,0.1213619831267257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061325605970348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835385828334026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907230549905938,0.08087390383862265,0.0,0.08391199050837916,0.06832874273678219,0.08316744155464915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495935731871928,0.0,0.0,0.08287444147757157,0.18181940475026304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296460737142223,0.0,0.0,0.16233209295871934,0.0,0.17845279031108774,0.0,0.0,0.2653944628538109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494223555939355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288477649436947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443957516200484,0.0,0.15662779267684965,0.0,0.08431540815971797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380788051839275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491567180014836,0.0,0.08568120041650024,0.08279139396811694,0.0787146880360951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359320959223418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205472482341762,0.03875264501076586,0.0,0.07004263920638587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743659298882329,0.0,0.0,0.052947945083745326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598168202743332,0.1598755188852435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662787407402373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061177894129927336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807751777605975,0.0,0.07572167307696448,0.05499177728074482,0.0,0.08287444147757157,0.0,0.07498477921510853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163120551504178,0.0,0.0,0.17032394460255254,0.0,0.0,0.07545323569750739,0.0,0.0,0.08027793829546219,0.06320923776840519,0.14442325059486974,0.0,0.2688333081781489,0.0,0.13123169380326585,0.0,0.0,0.08085862807998208,0.0,0.12213165766018234,0.07845132940631873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269790680297089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250640722820933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748591314084566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963464792495221,0.140358231660688,0.0,0.0636271965574359,0.0,0.0,0.0735321416763394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805551803231961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064839911864869
mentalhealth,_Wind_Element,2018/03/19,"Hello, i am semi abnormal...maybe? Hi I am 25 male and i'm a loner, very very quiet person, i've been wondering lately if i could have anti social personality disorder because i can be cold to some people, have no problems terminating friendships that no longer serves me a purpose/is negative to me, sometimes i also feel i do not process emotions normaly, like i would sink in the emotions first and then react (or not) to it. But i am skeptical because i still feel empathy and happiness from time to time, Also i dislike manipulating/lying to people. Note that in my teens i have been diagnosed chronical depressive and still feel that way often along with low self esteem  (sadly haven't checked about it since i was diagnosed..) 
P.s.
I do not wish for an internet diagnosis, i simply want advices, thoughts and personnal experiences on the subject. ",6.870576923076925,7.895003878205133,7.815794871794875,66.81253846153848,64.7051282051282,10.855384615384617,36.753846153846155,10.793553405168565,4.4458199999999986,679,33,108,18,10,229,106,156,0.19,0.747,0.063,-0.9513,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,1,0,5,0,16,3,0,1,0,26,24,11,0,6,6,0,3,1,0,1,3,1,0,4,5,7,0,0,5,0,1,0,7,5,0,1,4,5,17,2,13,17,1,12,0,3,0,0,7,4,0,5,8,78,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449757892155098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23728706382720044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087790051212596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845348120172193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277823513237533,0.30116479147054737,0.0,0.0,0.17003354732771606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33377032565694204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451246624389877,0.0,0.0,0.2250459985384793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619503967693388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579321032247545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673566740169365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248125917652035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904767841841762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057084496067731,0.2590846631860749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419605954373995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477195810466898,0.0,0.0,0.12272502184155155,0.0,0.0,0.15123445578733727,0.0,0.0,0.14673194920920274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236961162061158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177813608622172,0.1730199545330097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448252680030529,0.08750664084761317,0.11776135522968455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060681268268116,0.0,0.16089021819945332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539077041244242,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Roganxavier,2018/03/19,"Suicide note Dear World, 

I'm writing to say my last goodbye's. This is a suicide note, of sorts..
The world has been an incredibly cruel place in the 31, almost 32 years I've been here. More so to others than myself.
 My problems seem so insignificant by comparison, which is what makes this open letter so much more depressing to write. 
Hundreds of thousands were killed in the tsunami in 2004, many more in wars fought in the middle east, just to name a couple of things... Not to mention the impact this will have had on those survivors of these events and the many other atrocities around the globe. 
I've had to face being lucky enough to being born in a country where food is readily available, we have great education and healthcare. A roof over my head...the things I take for granted. Yet this good fortune has taught me and moulded my vision into something quite crooked. I have become self absorbed. I lust after the often unobtainable.  And failure to meet unobtainable expectations has made me become a bitter person.
I have learned to hate rejection, and to use the same power to reject to hurt other people. 
This has done nothing but make me a very lonely shadow of my own projection.
So tonight I have chosen to end this life and be reborn as the day breaks a new man. 
Goodbye ",5.277058552328263,6.972624979253112,5.299716459197786,80.91332757030892,68.91701244813278,7.347256800368832,28.326648224988475,7.793537801064563,1.8086429691101888,1024,36,181,12,18,320,154,241,0.149,0.807,0.045,-0.9719,1,2,1,0,0,2,30.0,1,0,0,2,10,16,6,0,18,0,22,4,1,4,0,29,32,12,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,15,10,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,12,0,1,9,2,15,4,33,19,7,28,0,5,0,1,12,17,0,5,10,128,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674662365435645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304587637270821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32370143947595503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215254198134327,0.0,0.09451131736724053,0.0,0.12622155226062085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996945419938265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979800412889805,0.15142322827769492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720638764545588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291748474164435,0.0,0.16156965484603827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468578095766493,0.15040049683282555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688263340718298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621336164800711,0.0,0.0,0.1194561554619656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351116550893423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866723307737452,0.1956438165568952,0.2971532809654024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772962034977104,0.0,0.0,0.14153694311586906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061673012407794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159791064067716,0.12796003522979293,0.15311143803643776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022661604145745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587180558265012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654082815365333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341176839461266,0.15288149416574132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281978738393775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205993880776517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018583570286426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947199196340087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265703939262599,0.0,0.12091742341504196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943720882438961
mentalhealth,JotunIV,2018/03/19,"Stabilizing my mood I'll try to keep this short. I have been battling a deep depression for about two years, and I really mean battle. I prioritize my mental wellbeing above everything. When the depression hits, I sort of get lost in it intentionally and try to come out stronger.

I went through a breakup about 6 months ago that threw me into a manic state for a solid four months. I was binge drinking and aggressively suicidal. I have a pretty good grip on it now, and I'm a generally happy guy who just goes with the flow. I have lots of friends, hobbies, I love my job, I go out and meet new women, and I have plenty of ambitions. Still, the bad feeling creep up from time to time.

I'm beginning to feel like a new man, like I'm in the final stages of all of this bullshit. But every once in a while, I remember what that was like. I've had dreams about my ex that I wake up from just wanting to end myself, even though deep down I know I don't want that. But that feeling is real, and it's uncomfortable. Overcoming suicidal thoughts has made me feel at peace with death, but just because I'm not afraid of dying doesn't make those feelings any less potent. It's an uneasy feeling that even if I'm happy today, I might see her at the supermarket and feel like jumping off a building. Yikes.

I can honestly say that while I'm over the breakup, I still have very strong feelings for this girl. It was hard on her just seeing me in that state, and I feel guilty for that. We don't talk anymore. She moved, and whatever social network she hasn't blocked me on, I've blocked her. We just couldn't stop fighting, god bless her. I think it's best that we stay away from each other. While in the past we could bring out the best in each other, now we only bring out the worst.

Sorry to be such a downer, I know this was kind of dark. I'm just looking for some perspective. Thanks.

TLDR: I've for the most part overcome depression, grown as a person, and live a good life, but old, painful memories re-emerge from time to time that crushes my good momentum and pulls me back to that state. I want to stabilize my mood so I can stop worrying about getting depressed again.",3.8005587557603695,5.049319824884794,4.435780529953919,87.41652793778803,71.94930875576037,7.8213133640553,26.235311059907843,8.278499904357787,1.4830877880184334,1700,55,360,26,32,542,224,434,0.142,0.6809999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9434,1,0,1,0,2,0,55.0,5,0,0,4,22,33,4,1,23,0,23,5,1,3,1,75,66,24,4,6,12,1,11,4,1,1,2,1,0,5,27,27,1,5,15,2,0,11,6,13,0,2,11,15,46,18,56,50,11,69,1,5,3,1,25,25,0,6,32,227,73,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543086882157449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05786697002431799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439057510191482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994879653083109,0.06543218274802531,0.07105009772600926,0.05187263093634995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860221372571772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330111350289255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794078984890546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931660189167974,0.0,0.08831433888409597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335991456615581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536819871943297,0.0,0.0,0.11240782538347277,0.0,0.07169552865147648,0.0,0.07647717479414858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872356321972996,0.12158261860270107,0.0,0.09321653031685703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657435633128157,0.0,0.08891640861708869,0.0,0.0483609915303011,0.21411891835180966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425663069582795,0.0,0.18116870397951146,0.0762276837527484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444285744149352,0.07563562960003753,0.0,0.08861250855686605,0.09353108739568837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010454586042874,0.16629089994611096,0.0,0.07513973242984373,0.0,0.07145769156317264,0.0,0.09289036496101426,0.07234404086673075,0.07680083251695971,0.08051818399357556,0.05680103536047167,0.0,0.0,0.09269252364407952,0.0,0.0,0.0857549333322693,0.0902714926661352,0.0,0.0,0.13584274784458172,0.09044166159301137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436900592561468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929204237324778,0.09062253959265516,0.0,0.06471796914015532,0.09054622215934867,0.0,0.0,0.09214871989268304,0.08123203692222486,0.0,0.07430096809321837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657138736266642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685582242940777,0.054513519732038204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639513384695267,0.0,0.0,0.06767031861668121,0.0,0.0,0.13561811110565114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674281476846711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525598358345266,0.0,0.09069908881806632,0.1359126667331372,0.14228511314561512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615847410080053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839548994469663,0.0,0.0783433012051579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054524923656531186,0.0836046137027564,0.06755528503911687,0.19847643566635012,0.0,0.0806593462485407,0.0,0.0,0.11554674419262645,0.0,0.08312466301176201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021162195634811,0.15057228126761651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888317049666177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641728472691415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05479787110802173
mentalhealth,DoggieDMB,2018/03/20,"Help for under diagnosed/recently homeless friend. Ive had a long time childhood friend. Let's call him Sam. Sam, myself, and my twin grew up together from 7th/6th grade onwards. Sam is one year younger then me but was always a very outgoing and fun guy.

After highschool, me and my twin moved a few hours away for college. It didn't work out. The year after we moved back into town,  Sam graduated highschool and then went to the same college we had just left. It also, didn't work out. By the time Sam had moved back home from college. Me and twin (I'll refer to us as us/we from here forward until it's obvious we seperate a bit), had already gotten jobs together and had an apartment. Sam lived at home for maybe half a year and ended up moving in with someone to have a roommate townhouse dealio.

Here is where it gets confusing.

We still kept contact with Sam over the next 2 years but he was doing his own thing and we were doing ours. Life was continuing and that is where that chapter ends. 
Sam did not end there. Turns out he had been having issues. It was odd things at first. Side comments, unable to hold any job for more than a few weeks, distance from his parents. We werent sure what to make of it. Tried to help (offer support, let him come out with us, crash on a couch, etc...). We tried what we could to be there for him.

But we had no clue. No family members or even himself could/would tell us what was going on. We heard he had seen a shrink for a bit. They had ""diagnosed"" him as schizophrenic. They had ""diagnosed"" him as bipolar. They had ""diagnosed"" him with depression, insomnia, and anything under the sun. We could not get a clear answer of what it was going on.

My twin through the years, tried to help. More than I could have. Took him in on 2 seperate occasions. Sam lived with him for about 2 months each time. Twin tried to help him get a job, get on his feet, just sort of be self sufficient. It didn't work out. Nothing worked out there. Sam was in his own world, and simply unable to do things that every adult has to do to survive. So Sam went back to living with his parents.

That was the trend, he'd be there but always complained how they didn't understand him. And he hated that he had to live there. But he never did anything for himself to make his situation better. It's always beetn a confusing situation for us. Like, we want to help, but how if the person you're trying to help is unable to help themselves. Ive let him come over, through the years, and we'd hang, have a good, (sad/depressing), kind of time. Id offer a couch to crash but you couldnt do more than that with Sam. Hed take it upon himself to stay for a week. I cant have that in my life anymore. Im married with a 4 year old. Life aint as easy as having a confused longtime friend stay at your place for a week.

So this all continued for now almost 10 years.(time frames above kind of elapse at the end of that 10yrs.)

And here we are. My twin just texted me saying Sam has messaged him saying these days he lives on the streets. His parents probably could have done better in helping when all this stuff first started. But they didnt. And i can't not help Sam. So i need help to help him.

Sorry this is so long winded but I dont think just bullet pointing makes a lot of sense here for us. What can we do. How do we find resources to get him the help he needs. Any treatment programs, hospice care, buddy system? I dunno. I just can't be ok sitting in my happy life knowing that there is nothing I can do. What I have, i don't think I can help. I need to know how to help.",1.7606288072312817,3.8183383356258638,2.7437848300255467,93.889098349381,79.67400275103164,5.529801532717627,21.389840833169586,6.5431188927421005,0.2418765730005892,2778,80,603,25,70,880,290,727,0.065,0.813,0.122,0.9928,7,0,0,0,0,1,115.0,22,2,5,9,34,21,1,3,33,1,81,11,1,7,6,107,115,44,0,10,19,3,0,1,3,0,10,3,4,4,33,48,0,2,8,0,0,14,18,6,0,4,37,4,80,15,102,63,15,102,0,1,1,0,98,42,0,9,45,408,113,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757366911419597,0.0,0.05242765853352293,0.037993144384488337,0.11859455037230412,0.0,0.0,0.06461586268455957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711642764745405,0.0,0.0,0.07819215887897474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463652111265748,0.10959508335637733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084036173336669,0.10373563153448356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048512274392600835,0.0,0.04843886496286573,0.0,0.0,0.08185005509598639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966142281652731,0.0,0.0,0.030639547459478358,0.0,0.08183932567294479,0.14466272060491314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861847593933514,0.05568050816213505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683164394883963,0.0,0.05298539222952955,0.03137942338520615,0.0,0.040028607273664765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04478750957073641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04342261016848106,0.08082271803141391,0.0,0.0,0.11011662761060424,0.0,0.12410815805613168,0.0,0.05400122361163689,0.03984851986251898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047041644629201684,0.0,0.05057449912342159,0.0,0.0469055661888453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458224516050557,0.0,0.09531133876905086,0.0,0.04678705887993749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051318161976113816,0.04958733240466919,0.14143685280666365,0.0,0.0,0.09894718321416554,0.05221970233932748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161895859647719,0.1457443358737735,0.1342288037684776,0.02321062851591818,0.0,0.209757769881548,0.08408841414504352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040390680631164896,0.0,0.0,0.0951384157400327,0.0,0.04772944529708995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037921444382391416,0.20197933238949836,0.0,0.10568256050668796,0.036642076267089166,0.0,0.050526645405155814,0.0,0.0,0.09117284778694099,0.0,0.04985298475442039,0.0,0.032193509486593705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158260259019974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04148326022274591,0.04963707313567189,0.0,0.044911614529189285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05122302625938348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556255345179365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956252781839689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680481538644893,0.0,0.0,0.04025444852831691,0.0,0.0,0.05318273578627362,0.033627304356874145,0.10127711656960772,0.037940962724634236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543867452663176,0.0,0.053912954216081735,0.04477692275783683,0.0,0.035721056868374554,0.0,0.041525194210713566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468913964688846,0.060884041075520916,0.0,0.0,0.1108121447152689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527845447427468,0.16127837160951036,0.051676440858390585,0.0,0.04945882340056863,0.3428867978165827,0.0,0.0,0.03920012160032798,0.028022197137101787,0.0,0.11432720701208983,0.0,0.0,0.08808313465856246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834925148993465,0.0,0.0,0.033749220817096984,0.0,0.0,0.21416087617892351
mentalhealth,whitepeppermint,2018/03/20,"Borderline disorder is messing up with my feelings Yes, I am on meds and seeing a therapist 3 times per week.

One of the characteristics of my disorder is to parasite people to use their mental stability to keep mine. 

I like someone but I'm not even sure if it is love or my disorder looking for a new host since my boyfriend broke up with me.
Sometimes it feels like love is supposed to feel. Sometimes I feel so indifferent and numb towards him that I think it's just my mental illness telling me to find someone to cling to.

I don't even know what is me and what is my disorder anymore. Is it any trace of me left anymore? If I kill this disorder does it mean I'll be killing myself too? 

I go through mental hell everyday because of this. I take my meds go to therapy and it continues, I don't know what to do anymore.",2.5177309236947782,4.513738765060246,4.222385542168677,84.50112851405625,77.01204819277109,7.800160642570282,30.34377510040161,8.648137234880735,2.507274377510041,649,32,132,14,15,218,95,166,0.251,0.657,0.093,-0.9867,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,0,5,11,3,0,3,1,12,4,0,1,1,24,30,9,2,2,6,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,6,0,1,9,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,0,6,24,5,21,29,0,12,1,1,2,2,5,5,1,3,7,87,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904436829176333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020735634806028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189218189801486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.581814981828928,0.0,0.08885021348568323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412016028126555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053479219964031,0.07253356356099297,0.0,0.0,0.09279723473780033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540449098232562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024516514152728,0.2246573877222711,0.0,0.1115972521485606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031341964963337,0.0,0.0,0.09920555832302168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852602299981071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832708698308071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059671411316883,0.22555547329448855,0.0,0.3069572433466251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980589978714107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879984057313844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038861433582096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809068351624154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398725719116741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205329181406018,0.0,0.20083294786136527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956914979517153,0.0,0.07633846252989589,0.0,0.08874232064247023,0.0,0.116109221857533,0.11788498637136323,0.0,0.06505678297031567,0.0,0.0,0.05920337679519561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768993956890947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144181587160683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Immortal_Sloth,2018/03/20,"I keep saying negative things under my breath. Been happening for years. I'm not sure what's going on. It's a real problem with me.
Since maybe 12 years old, I have said negative thoughts about myself out loud, under my breath. So just randomly I will say for no reason ""what a piece of sh#$, kill yourself"" or ""no one f#$%ing likes you"" or just ""die"" or ""i want to die"", or ""i just want to kill myself"". The list goes on and on. When I first learned what schizophrenia was it sounded relatable, except that I didn't hear voices, I was just saying the ""schizophrenic"" negative talk without thinking. I don't think anyone has ever noticed me saying it. But I told a couple therapist and psychiatrist about it recently and they didn't seem to understand what I was talking about or thought it was no big deal. To be honest, I lost all faith in mental healthcare, but that is another topic altogether. I just wish I could find out what this automatic talk means. and again, It's very automatic. most of the time I don't even notice I am saying these things, but if I do notice I say STOP which it stops for awhile, then a bit later when I forgot about it, I start again.",4.493684210526318,5.5907220087719285,5.183289473684212,83.28177631578949,70.14035087719299,8.33157894736842,26.530701754385966,8.660442795831766,1.777512280701754,910,28,181,15,16,294,132,228,0.129,0.8170000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9264,0,0,0,0,0,2,43.0,0,1,1,2,16,8,2,0,7,0,17,3,2,1,3,49,37,17,4,6,17,0,0,1,0,1,1,11,0,0,20,7,0,4,10,0,0,1,12,4,0,2,13,11,28,4,24,21,4,26,1,1,0,0,15,9,0,9,17,134,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828050960891332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220405758516525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273671186631605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244729360562937,0.11425880967564545,0.0,0.0,0.10645986496799592,0.0,0.0,0.21434187750119046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820439535345499,0.0934075114606314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943807295262886,0.08783565820323877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868687833369845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131534107203357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638517511361016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178511133811004,0.2284909481043101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044920246839838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272402352264073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037418029350586,0.11248393974997753,0.0,0.0,0.10406505697535223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35269764552234417,0.1083573984136138,0.0,0.06997384311000511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880897356258622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753617299726953,0.0,0.10617180799322656,0.10195999058220363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822698717834193,0.4927144332396264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400697434176028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542041825935456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309025194224855,0.0,0.0,0.17266538298002604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973243805342332,0.0,0.0,0.2489972395071641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989657930392747,0.13720701486183925,0.13233382772063773,0.0,0.16395895404273933,0.060213624987191725,0.0,0.0,0.09867244995823808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750067340368796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520298664228358,0.12181466744939608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874762846704034,0.09954207728220488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299628038631894
mentalhealth,TheAnnoyingPromoter,2018/03/20,"Lost Touch With Reality Hi,

I’ve struggled with my mental health for a good majority of my life, and lately, my symptoms of anxiety and depression have been flaring.

I dropped out of university because I thought it was contributing to my feelings of anguish (it was), so now I work a job that I don’t enjoy; stuck at a desk all day. I can’t quit because I have a house and other bills.

I’m in a dying 4 year relationship, I’ve lost almost all of my friends, and I don’t talk to my family much anymore.

I’ve always been somewhat suicidal, but it wasn’t until recently that I’ve seriously, seriously considered doing it.  I feel trapped, living a life I don’t enjoy, I feel I have no purpose and nobody seems to care.
",4.952083333333333,5.297742819444443,6.8750000000000036,74.27000000000002,68.72222222222223,10.011111111111113,34.05555555555556,9.994966539143718,3.4136722222222238,562,26,109,13,9,198,83,144,0.19,0.705,0.105,-0.7937,1,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,2,12,0,2,6,0,13,4,0,0,2,18,23,8,2,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,9,4,17,5,15,14,5,10,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,3,6,71,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687092392506947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866201312327234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748299045101516,0.0,0.16526708912668697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317052490376905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699057125661788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747225699443676,0.0,0.14353111860751794,0.0,0.17295122942219598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709810156605128,0.0,0.25278220015324904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874953541202458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977394324039635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713587231142944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228598836134614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536947674597355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798285036424608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354126234034667,0.0,0.0,0.14715061298541415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638254676303088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679389931039311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250327015499672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772475002403468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645418611486194,0.17891439513371654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170737493029532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742135659969421,0.0,0.1822826132761298,0.0,0.0,0.17320799154897798,0.0,0.1339429612714788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229753796624086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131956526755568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731393449357647
mentalhealth,vajayjay25,2018/03/20,"Have you used Venlafaxine? If yes, please help by writing down your experience. :)",5.0076923076923086,8.594265538461544,4.191153846153849,76.59134615384617,85.92307692307692,8.753846153846155,29.57692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.6664153846153855,64,3,10,2,2,19,13,13,0.0,0.483,0.517,0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5338842975148608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36582944137022105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5991100981708642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713846274153549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sonicamethyst,2018/03/20,"Do I have a disorder? Hi. I don't if I'm a brat, or just thinking too much about this, but I think that something might be ""off"" with me. 
When I was a child, around 8 years old, this thought that 'people were watching me' appeared. It was nothing, it was just a thought. Than, later, maybe when I was 11, it came back but with a strange feeling. And a camera in my eyes. Well, not exactly a camera, but a device that would let certain people see what I see. I was embarassed to even live. But I managed to shake it off of my mind. I am 16 now, and I still have it-that thought and feeling like everybody is watching me and know my actions, but it kind of developed recently. Now everybody knows my actions, literally everyone, but only I don't know that they know cause I'm not able to see that device that shows it to them. It is kind of hard to explain.
I have mood swings and feel like there are 2 sides fighting inside of me. Like the other day, my mind was so messed up I felt like screaming in the middle of the street. I had a thought, and then another one shitting all over it, then the first one but improved, and then the another one...and this all is happening in seconds..I felt like one of them won (for a couple of hours). But usually it's not as distressing as thia, just two sides constantly fighting and leaving me confused.
When I'm in a social situation I sometimes think that people can read my mind if they're touching me. Or just can read my mind.
These ""feelings"" last maybe half a minute, and I can shake them off of my mind. They appear a couple of dozen times a day so it is sometimes frustrating. And I know they're irrational.
Oh and I daydream waaaay too much. I don't know how many worlds I've got going on there. There's this weird thing that I started doing when I was, well, a child. I just listen to music and walk (fastly) in circles in my room for hours and just think about situations that will never happen.

There are more weird things from my childhood, but this post is way too long even without them.
I appreciate everyone's opinion.",2.9227725017717923,4.5578294650602444,3.785233876683204,89.66434266477678,74.83132530120483,6.810063784549965,25.94082211197732,7.5105763829236425,1.200739192062367,1608,57,340,20,34,514,187,415,0.109,0.795,0.096,-0.5557,0,0,1,0,4,0,65.0,0,0,6,2,31,24,4,4,20,0,33,2,2,2,5,79,70,38,0,3,23,0,8,5,0,3,0,2,1,2,29,17,0,0,21,3,0,9,8,12,2,7,18,16,45,11,39,47,5,59,0,0,6,0,14,19,1,9,34,239,74,3,0.07710161069062063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616955228447875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863678000537253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592863794226852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818370252661663,0.0,0.07920459279539918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331945030755218,0.0,0.0,0.1706229314661975,0.0,0.09944832087668476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836512562174005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184977339709232,0.0,0.0,0.1473477862636516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559395640374797,0.1101628121660193,0.1480592748203219,0.0,0.0,0.06558259066606584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04381862216279533,0.0,0.0616652014354687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636139940347247,0.0,0.06906789887907698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518591111870026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057892563753254,0.25423817312549263,0.06284810332775256,0.0,0.08163947312763246,0.0,0.07884162072510535,0.0,0.18833976215325104,0.0,0.06808213480680804,0.06823249921500488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816893166397153,0.15491786219913006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817926246762439,0.38925323799491895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335711056526845,0.0,0.05946551532813465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398107489959004,0.0,0.08090517053286922,0.0,0.2089841872373316,0.05863924926185767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035764656419274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384203018789537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424495096292934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612853894936744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432000402371174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914369539400465,0.0,0.1733308816942214,0.0,0.07859538246430031,0.0,0.059356586753525536,0.15251092891220866,0.0,0.05457291688663365,0.0,0.06157344589374038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244576833904817,0.1976143956158399,0.0,0.2448402662194608,0.04495856922842957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531707034252799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491653134220786,0.0,0.0,0.061199669781642076,0.0,0.0,0.13864721508413705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432320132836459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054770772081336266,0.0,0.0,0.049650909409156466
mentalhealth,FireSniperr,2018/03/20,"I don't know if I am depressed I know I am a bit young to be worrying about this since I'm 12, but I just feel sad all the time and my family notice it a lot. I always feel tired and I don't talk very clearly and I can be irritated easily. The problem is I'm scared to talk to somebody because I feel like I'm just exaggerating it in my head and assuming the worst when it's probably nothing, it will probably be really embarrassing if it turns out to be nothing

Also I don't know if this is really the right place to ask, I just looked up a mental health subreddit.",4.502810304449646,3.9967581803278702,6.779274004683843,77.50073770491805,69.65573770491804,10.905854800936767,29.72365339578454,10.608840637214634,2.8834833723653386,446,15,99,12,7,161,68,122,0.287,0.665,0.048,-0.9857,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,7,0,13,3,1,0,2,23,25,10,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,4,13,1,9,20,4,8,0,2,1,0,3,5,0,5,4,65,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866831144488106,0.1338781929405074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504158516936527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980805850146922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756565396527143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857931496221065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167823889409068,0.0,0.2440612493773376,0.11494399016317006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651255070769051,0.17102470933342076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652723681998842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860555968978708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511194758783854,0.0,0.0,0.1367878536803407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214512118048233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30876771492375754,0.18318093231120572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810186387311776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469457662779038,0.15395554913134074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614793620508415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740413228081086,0.0,0.0,0.1610847621896503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330946666682844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25864389544357946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381963364106707,0.184926050949837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500842571601016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275588363271856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339749282810084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chainedtothevoid,2018/03/20,"Lost - mother diagnosed with schizophrenia and paranoia but refuses to takes medication because she is fine After  years of thinking “oh mum you are just being crazy” to making the decision to ommit her into a mental health hospital. 

Things have just gotten worse, she spent years accusing me as a teenager to be on “drugs” or making sure I didn’t go certain places to phone calls at 3am from mothers intuition and I just thought mum was being a little over protective. 

After years on her own, she is agitated daily, cursing at random people, changing pin codes weekly, accusing radio/tv/celebrity people of conspiring against her etc

I asked if she would go to the hospital, she replied “sure there is nothing wrong with me and when I’m let out you need to help me catch them”

She was diagnosed and kept for 3 weeks, she hated me for this thinking they got to the doctors and that’s the real reason why she has been kept inside. After 2 weeks on medication she got better, still angry but much more lucid in her conversations. 

After her release she stopped taking the medications because she was gaining a little weight and never went to the psychologist. 

2 years on, its much worse but not sure what I can do. I live internationally but when I come back I just get abused. 

I just want to help her, but the hospital says they can only take her if she admits there is somthing wrong with her, which she avidly defends. 

She has ostracised herself from her friends accusing them of conspiracy, she lost her job for same reasons

Falling deeper into this hole I need something big to change the situation. Her sister wants to help, her brother wants to without upsetting her and her mother says we shouldn’t pick on her. 

I really appreciate the time anyone took to read this",8.014525745257451,7.959250804878052,7.777642276422764,71.75651761517615,62.29268292682927,10.337669376693768,34.68563685636856,9.861636050157227,3.3792555555555563,1416,54,241,25,18,452,183,328,0.136,0.72,0.14400000000000002,0.4736,1,0,2,0,1,0,26.0,1,2,4,4,11,13,1,1,13,0,22,9,0,5,5,59,53,18,0,9,15,7,1,0,1,2,8,2,0,0,8,15,1,5,7,1,1,7,5,6,0,0,16,3,52,7,44,31,6,41,0,2,0,0,57,16,0,4,18,173,60,3,0.0,0.10699869900108497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314456005071571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442459494962057,0.0,0.0,0.06944029523832282,0.0,0.1101002795789326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986895728097823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221326048588764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910650761488536,0.07779124505963822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331884462588224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243275701854582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472712751831836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071586700032656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977074972482201,0.0,0.04718153519101674,0.0,0.10264678293904188,0.0,0.14445307118792014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915919212952296,0.0,0.09599182299786777,0.0,0.0,0.1815920773588104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961548744424055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234474214028876,0.0,0.0,0.18102212058060974,0.07974249039115837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971609106340886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056087691473512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729235662619691,0.0910079358297914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327716636041278,0.13392258080160113,0.06965011156179078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665173574607414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868233177583666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521462129607228,0.0,0.09435130412098112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033116069985613,0.10278882076957184,0.057852798816911084,0.185700702418662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363106062682982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150853970144832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952252690483579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211906517715587,0.07550046360900181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553390514290942,0.0,0.20369824934472835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999577363850876,0.11572980259995384,0.0,0.07169345024130194,0.05265857606950028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033409142190804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979573394632965,0.0,0.21731581651916512,0.10996925913275007,0.0,0.08371523642604542,0.08148777067033408,0.0,0.0,0.08705245780827935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840605305266482,0.06415130457947303,0.19747244875511874,0.0,0.2326182736605971
mentalhealth,PixelWidget,2018/03/20,"Vent I was recently started on mood stabilizers(anti-psychotics) and I think they're helping a lot, my antidepressants were also upped, I think that is also helping. The problem is that I'm having a lot of self destructive feelings, I had gone 3 years without self harming but recently I did again, I'm ashamed because I thought I could control myself better. I've been hanging out with some friends lately and we've been playing games and it makes me really happy, I'm worried they'll see my scars and judge me, even though I cut where no one can see. I don't think they'd be mean about it, but I don't want them to pity me because of it or think that something is wrong with me. I just needed somewhere to air this out. People have asked me why I cut before and I've never told anyone the truth because I don't want to be judged, but no one here knows me so I guess it doesn't matter. I cut because I like watching myself bleed, I deserve the sting from the razor blade, I don't know why, but when I cut it just feels like I finally did something right. ",4.0508992248062015,4.998015702325585,4.763720930232559,86.43829457364346,71.04651162790698,7.035658914728682,28.286821705426355,7.03164865440522,1.3453007751937984,836,30,172,7,15,269,122,215,0.175,0.688,0.13699999999999998,-0.6509,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,2,12,18,5,1,6,0,23,1,0,2,2,41,47,15,0,5,8,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,9,9,0,1,10,2,0,2,9,10,0,2,10,5,33,7,14,32,3,18,0,1,3,0,11,7,0,5,11,112,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744821838687165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632014978683777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541047519994173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30101952146607625,0.0,0.10504812242369764,0.0,0.0,0.10918280767615304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846133946046862,0.09856596667248133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153854256856252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484156180514505,0.08819376665916039,0.0,0.1352350692561708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537831227503096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599573048012936,0.0,0.0,0.1314164030051296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549385837962752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356914169468237,0.0,0.13925865399835027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062432110722182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990807839828746,0.0,0.0,0.0824048258896254,0.0,0.0,0.13447485989799274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153771302982627,0.0952133969712502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730784447375194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558571678302965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181264001423448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908618344086403,0.0,0.2437868993425833,0.0,0.0,0.10542689498751286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967497029273914,0.0,0.25757364848400444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900779712825591,0.0,0.0,0.08737959758246136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164109113185897,0.12129045873940955,0.09800669065702423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796318579718322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562977057159296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222791529924643,0.0,0.0,0.1190028276590689,0.0,0.0,0.12537097707080266,0.0,0.0,0.13497482080502904,0.0,0.07949870982318599
mentalhealth,Fakkingsmas,2018/03/20,"Performance anxiety m/18 Growing up I’ve always looked up to my older brother who is good at everything he does. I’ve followed the same path as him, but last year I joined culinary school instead of some prestigious high school. I am great at cooking but because of anxiety and setting sky high expectations to myself I couldn’t handle the stress of working in a fine dining kitchen. I am seeing the school psychiatrist. We tried to figure out what it is and turns out I have a habit of having to be the best at everything I do. This makes me stress about everything because I have to meet my own unrealistic expectations. I don’t want to disappoint others, if its my parents, teachers, gf or friends.



It is cowardly, but I feel like I have to be perfect with everything I do. If there is something I am not good at I just stay away from it to not expose my weakness, and if there Is something I have/want to do I enjoy getting better and performing as good as I can.  I strive to be nice to everyone, and make others life as good as possible, but I realise that I have to fix this for my own sake because it makes everyday situations hard to deal with because I think of everything as a task or a challenge. 



 I have gotten a gf who I truly love and trust, and we talk about everything that stresses us etc. Because of this performance anxiety I just can’t get hard at the most annoying times. My gf is understanding about it but this to me was a sign that I have to do something. 

tl:dr performance anxiety and trying to be perfect is making me stress a lot, I know it is stupid and pointless to overthink things and set such high standards but I don’t know what to do…",4.285,5.5667978181818185,5.3628030303030325,81.10420454545455,70.81818181818181,8.772727272727273,31.022727272727273,9.188382445141503,2.6909090909090905,1320,57,258,27,24,436,154,330,0.111,0.677,0.213,0.9919,2,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,3,0,0,10,9,25,2,4,12,0,32,6,0,4,2,53,50,27,0,7,15,2,3,1,4,0,2,0,1,0,21,16,3,0,6,1,0,2,6,8,0,0,2,5,40,17,48,43,8,25,0,1,2,1,17,15,0,8,6,190,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907332937511619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540183685727799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799329181555585,0.0,0.0,0.25301927092168297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871168496491524,0.07341810726655043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855825885911066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726450919905427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258125532877916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932232200924808,0.4476395045158009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04197378401881726,0.059304386456418126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413551098888072,0.0,0.08674156091629805,0.0,0.0,0.2785089124854859,0.0,0.0915219444906603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872639092345344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631228561162556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124336712517056,0.06766654072310646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058634420881196324,0.04055587841390115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970987472467176,0.0,0.0,0.07057454439929611,0.07492232531433958,0.0,0.2216468499103208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217593020893784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935844994159303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520402649103007,0.06615048239568272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933099055000026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172200983359405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848063771497189,0.0,0.0,0.3803636915854185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672257291662306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055150039445685424,0.05319127324605564,0.0,0.0,0.04840545210542185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272053275595716,0.09029412757516343,0.0,0.08641928963502359,0.09985422032298874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896312132190928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043433311415936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345754454916656
mentalhealth,Inky_well,2018/03/20,"I want to care about people. For the longest time there are only a few of things I've ever cared about. My first dog, and my little sister. Past that I can't seem to develop any reasonable feeling for anyone and anything. I want to care about the people in my life, I want to feel sad for them, joy, lust, sympathy and the works. I want that so bad, but I never seem to be able.
Every relationship I've ever with someone (boyfriend or girlfriend) I have never gotten attached. I see people happy together and I want that so bad I would die for it. But I just can't see to care as much as I want to. I'm 19, I live in Canada, and I'm bisexual if that helps. But I've tried a few consellers, I never find any progress no matter how long I've went. The last thing I want is to be a sociopath dieing alone only having cared about two things my whole life. I'm not saying I am one, I'm pretty sure I have anxiety, but lots of people do.

Thxs for the time.",2.027518656716417,3.2864313383084607,3.8098725124378134,90.12286847014929,76.41293532338307,6.418034825870647,21.02021144278607,6.9077264865688965,0.32823606965174124,733,17,164,7,16,247,106,201,0.12,0.6679999999999999,0.212,0.8903,0,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,3,11,11,0,0,8,0,12,3,0,2,6,37,36,16,2,9,8,1,2,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,3,0,3,2,5,22,8,24,31,5,15,0,1,2,1,6,3,0,5,11,105,30,1,0.0960485043732456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947728381735953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063255323472825,0.0,0.07347684294921558,0.0,0.0,0.0671593474967353,0.0,0.07903973523622715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603929784059044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4896392575288961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936636687247164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737627421725034,0.0809250074724849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971300194915248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778659293177582,0.08169880875348151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224541892000152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437928786580753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829235048730526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568379826111626,0.0,0.09626583422946257,0.08481258905174968,0.08499990390015442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165700369111338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060670219689172,0.0,0.22223558332536053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508495231814215,0.1460984313744442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168916553906796,0.2663517571914642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771585900821572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987538593515103,0.0,0.10312014854754534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638162578228769,0.0,0.0,0.1530764450873896,0.17487790210372034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138158606627338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052457868442533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143107530820835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201331060330208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521062968002142,0.0,0.09382543237912368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965632748719549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903792582278687,0.0,0.10723472504289153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992445511588885,0.0,0.0,0.06823010174053627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quartizinekittens,2018/03/20,"Lost control of my body/explanations Hi all 

Recently I’ve been really struggling with my mental health in ways I can’t explain. I’m seeing a therapist but we’ve only had one meeting so I have no clear advice or answers to what’s wrong yet. Last night in bed I felt like I had no control over my body and was constantly twitching and convulsing. Woke up sore and with the same twitching, had to miss school. Mom is confused, trying to be understanding, and somewhat angry. My two questions are: have any of you felt like you lost control of your bodies? How do I explain a mental health issue I’m not understanding to my mom? 

Thanks ",2.6002814258911826,5.165133105691061,3.8333333333333366,84.43153846153847,79.73170731707317,6.386241400875548,25.72170106316448,7.61054688173877,1.6020098811757348,504,20,93,8,13,164,82,123,0.214,0.684,0.102,-0.9268,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,5,3,9,0,2,3,0,12,7,2,4,2,26,26,8,0,0,3,2,2,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,6,0,3,8,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,10,3,13,3,13,15,3,10,0,3,1,0,10,4,0,4,7,59,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495722671107612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695886773795784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840789054207015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818662455843164,0.4302654983228794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455586462280702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27184867347457664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346748308867432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423457220017768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494578831726445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791796756381379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577343138023093,0.0,0.0,0.2995295272169748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000131117135218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665089398038342,0.09725412124330997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324841344250885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819195121209344,0.0,0.12626038447381166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941555708035793,0.10189921281131553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368191942024976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772941912789585,0.0,0.1484718477666375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681821461859646,0.0,0.12491455097034558,0.2662431857366683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150061912313432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981040667143016,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TESDragonAge,2018/03/20,"Why Do Bad Things Always Happen? Bad things have been happening to me... throughout most of my life. That sentence is an understatement. I feel that I'm finally at a breaking point. I am only 36 years old. 

Timeline of Bad Things:

- When I was born - I almost died. I was in the hospital for weeks before I was able to be taken home. There were antibodies from my mother's blood attacking my blood cells. That's pretty much what happened. It shuts down most of the baby's organs.

- Once I arrived home and began my... life... I spent the first decade or so of my developmental years in a house filled with screaming, physical fights, threats of violence, chronic fear of being attacked/hurt. It was a nightmare. It was mostly my dad. He came from an abused childhood and all of that trickled down into my childhood. The house was also filled with cigarette smoke 24/7, so I've developed into a person with chronic ear/nose/throat problems, a poor immune system, and scarring throughout my ears and mastoid process (that showed up on an MRI in my 20's). 

- season the ongoing years with being bullied at school, not fitting in, being a weird, awkward kid...

- At the age of 15, one of my two older brothers died of brain cancer. 

- At the age of 21, my parents moved out of state. I stayed behind and finished college. I pretty much struggled without parental support, but that was my choice in that instance. But I never really ""made it"" into a successful career. I spent most of my 20's just trying to keep bills paid - I didn't have time or energy to quit work and chase whatever dream career I might have had. 

- At the age of 23 I got married to my boyfriend which was a very stupid decision. At the age of 26, I later divorced him after discovering that he was cheating on me. I did remarry someone else at the age of 30.

- At the age of 32, my mother died of colon cancer. 

- At the age of 33, my (second) husband lost his job and admitted he had spent all of our savings in secret. We were broke for some time. We lost our home. We did get couples therapy, build back up our savings, and now have a new home. A lot of scars were leftover from that. Lots of trauma and fear too. 

- Two years ago, my current husband was almost killed in a car accident. He was not at fault. An elderly man crashed head-on into him. My husband was luckily spared. It was traumatic. We lost a new car, too. 

- Two years ago, not long after the car crash, some men opened fire outside of my house, shooting at the front porch. It was some drug/gang related stuff - they were aiming at the neighbors apparently. Wasn't a bad neighborhood either - it can happen anywhere, but it sent my anxiety through the roof and I became terrified of that neighborhood. I had to go on anxiety meds and tranquilizers. We eventually moved. 

- Last august, at my current age (36), my father (in spite of all our differences) died of congestive heart failure. He died unexpectedly. He refused to take his medication (which kept him alive), said he was ""cursed"" because he lost my mother, and died by his own volition. In essence, my father killed himself. 

- As of this January, my doctor discovered a large tumor growing out of the back of my uterus. There was some question as to whether or not it was cancer. Luckily it turned out to be benign, but I lost my uterus - I am still in recovery, which has proven to be extremely painful (and draining on the bank account since I cannot work). 

By this point in my life, I am very depressed and still battling anxiety. I am not even that old. I do not feel like I genetically inherited any mental illness. I believe the state of my life has introduced these issues for me. 

I have gone to therapists throughout my life. They've been terrible. I have had so many bad experiences with them, it's like just another example of my bad luck. I've had therapists cancel on me, cut sessions early after 20 minutes, and insist that I don't even need therapy. 

I feel like I'm slowly becoming dead inside to everything. ",3.6378260869565215,5.742299666666671,4.597239789196311,82.5854249011858,74.07246376811594,7.603952569169961,27.969038208168644,8.438071523408619,2.138182081686429,3113,125,580,57,66,1010,348,759,0.232,0.708,0.06,-0.9993,7,0,3,1,3,0,145.0,9,0,2,10,18,44,10,4,37,0,57,23,6,1,4,85,92,30,9,2,18,12,4,3,1,1,17,3,6,4,34,34,0,3,7,2,9,13,12,34,0,6,50,7,84,10,104,35,17,111,0,7,0,0,52,45,0,18,51,387,118,10,0.0566065321978396,0.06706948428579527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035655070134522,0.0,0.11336653039900305,0.0,0.0,0.045268223347235535,0.04710116944335086,0.0,0.0,0.03849438301523115,0.059356884623899514,0.1299115265773657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439810235936186,0.0,0.0870538582948649,0.28358453957259944,0.034506816624966664,0.06251746746314746,0.04816798963226168,0.0637761773880534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319161083697836,0.0,0.0647427926820844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263405120345965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048755123235635085,0.0,0.352491860414948,0.05914177806051892,0.0,0.0579391843286359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564560596493896,0.0,0.04728749405973225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747761612955062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087430112915151,0.0553720504314082,0.0,0.12739617255059926,0.08586589054564152,0.08087943582531311,0.0,0.06200968911729871,0.0,0.04814948737002199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029574576724914262,0.0,0.032170796746078666,0.0,0.045273414903740254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20022787790642446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058094633019917886,0.0,0.0,0.06707901320426607,0.0,0.0,0.22712386883581864,0.0,0.0,0.19594901405343632,0.0605984634819333,0.0,0.0,0.059082512775769175,0.05617324867514912,0.05031448673048634,0.12525348184283502,0.0,0.0,0.04614187891444863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991433872687364,0.08296527697643853,0.0,0.0,0.05009499969140201,0.0,0.0,0.3089635836930131,0.0962496988117114,0.0,0.053562469454284896,0.0,0.057390138902060725,0.0,0.0,0.06287709624258797,0.057025125880096714,0.05704607045695916,0.06005058520580098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032757064806535,0.08322462879296924,0.041973026365933,0.043658447312990664,0.10934188306860436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879806659597295,0.06028410935334319,0.038358051205824036,0.043051818524490144,0.06023334131577001,0.0,0.1257097101485232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049426640499422386,0.0,0.0,0.1070229395502385,0.0,0.0,0.11517838732174746,0.0,0.054164806434172715,0.0,0.0,0.06341227107506517,0.06020801482817765,0.0,0.0,0.03626359401903335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384577488558619,0.0,0.0,0.05728883266273541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04682550838981623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047962531036089384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060335031584129735,0.09041209946966652,0.0,0.0,0.059177438049002024,0.06480093637235355,0.0,0.0642364219203527,0.0,0.0,0.042561067442922006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946900575285647,0.13144909365955953,0.1128205941238956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660154482844673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03843211961197135,0.06157165205633551,0.1658890701193836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341263475770284,0.0,0.0,0.045406345675720536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107859072569696,0.0,0.0,0.05456667702990524,0.0,0.08242045924114373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822637540867441
mentalhealth,Salamanderstone,2018/03/20,"How do I get help? I know I need help with my mental health, as it's been negatively affecting my life for a while now, but I can't go to my doctor due to how neglectful and invalidating my father is (I'm not old enough to go on my own in my country, so I kind of need him to take me), the fact that he can only bring me 1 day of the week, and also my inability to approach the topic due to my severe social anxiety and executive disfunction. 

I feel like I'm stuck in a gray area, where I'm  not severe enough in my mental illness for it to warrant me going to a hopspital or being able to call some sort of helpline for help, but it's still substantial enough to fill my days with misery and slowly chip away at my sanity while letting me fall behind with my schoolwork. There's no way out of my situation, it feels like, and I'm doomed to either have my life ruined by this as I throw all my future prospects out the window, or I end up committing suicide. 

Now obviously neither of these outcomes are particularly good, so I'm looking for a third option, which doesn't result in misery followed by death.

Also I live in Australia, if that is of any relevance.",11.49340336134454,5.735859327731093,11.580567226890759,65.02362394957986,60.764705882352935,14.589075630252099,41.93487394957983,11.20814326018867,4.411132773109243,912,29,187,16,8,314,139,238,0.209,0.701,0.09,-0.9902,1,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,8,0,11,5,0,4,4,35,30,20,2,3,8,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,9,10,0,1,3,0,0,9,7,3,0,1,2,4,29,4,40,26,8,36,1,3,2,0,8,13,0,6,15,133,38,1,0.13170945498818842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106560071374777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956694590162817,0.0,0.10075737256133267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374536857153552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344900795428152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988340483206052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481020818788236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665548368213835,0.4082732254781856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331925157367087,0.1881865219207106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881275412404582,0.0,0.2245605555461064,0.11047164193132587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000099164066346,0.0,0.0,0.26484621408727943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371551293731994,0.07238407196168738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468184131401442,0.18606056633898893,0.1286931736113647,0.0,0.1163018617836462,0.0,0.1106027703161973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654643044673435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953217839785948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820691709501395,0.0,0.0,0.10017097557386496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975883890615865,0.0,0.0,0.1480469458165628,0.0,0.13426120279768036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518334088960617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406876644750127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902911870719984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454483479912237,0.1056493801996704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cryformelovely,2018/03/20,"I pull out my hair and I don't know what to do anymore I'm a first time poster so I don't know if anyone will reply but.. here it goes.

 I'm 17f finished high school and since I was 13 I've been pulling my hair. It's weird I pull out an individual strand that I think is weird and I would sometimes go through the extent of pulling clumps out just to get it and I would do it for hours. I haven't stopped and it happens when I'm stressed, worried, bored or talked to I don't know how to stop. It's concerning my bf and my mum has always told me to stop but I've never seeked help for it. I have bipolar if that has anything to do with it and I haven't been to therapy for 3 years now, to which the psychiatrist never knew. I do it around friends and family and even work and sometimes I don't even realise until someone points it out.

It first started when my family was hanging out along a creek and I just started to do it. Since then it's a regular thing. 

I've been living with my bf for the past 5 months and I need it to stop. I don't know what to do about it and I can't keep concerning him with it, the longest I've gone without doing it is about a day. Has anyone else had this experience?",-0.2547455470737887,1.7947772404580178,1.7327938931297702,98.1943307888041,87.66412213740458,4.867379134860051,19.42035623409669,6.2581,-0.2096339949109418,935,28,228,9,30,309,121,262,0.071,0.905,0.024,-0.7144,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,13,5,0,1,9,0,30,3,2,1,2,48,48,24,0,5,8,1,2,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,24,23,0,5,6,0,0,7,11,4,0,2,9,2,26,1,31,36,1,37,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,3,22,153,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354709717835306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234146753874904,0.17402780624660485,0.12750723953972054,0.10240653194361167,0.11078124428813677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025586812364065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395671276512457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643877324447837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217297819724323,0.23462882188120354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117034335543604,0.0,0.0,0.09614486588424698,0.0,0.0650166780641507,0.0,0.07072420189009779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100451208346737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341196462301675,0.13148156313779294,0.0,0.0,0.12255194148436035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061124614382783,0.0,0.0,0.2735639323618252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098860349669739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932974510919862,0.0,0.0,0.09227339981887386,0.1919572503188634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879555810247755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763948595002405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594363140170586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588216916769386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544071242406937,0.0,0.2461559308451178,0.0,0.1761637313598081,0.0,0.0,0.4161619003101212,0.14254979632522669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002310304556238,0.0,0.0,0.14231217482189593,0.0,0.08267484057210739,0.07973847488859936,0.0,0.0,0.07256410105704132,0.0,0.0,0.11891125358817856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199592510311446,0.0,0.0905964692956469,0.12637858113374142,0.0,0.17680241646876316,0.0,0.0,0.08013763938158766
mentalhealth,Snasebarn,2018/03/20,"Saying to much to my psychologist will get me in trouble. I often have suicide thoughts, thoughts of shooting up the school and sometimes rape. In a week or so I will meet a psychologist, should I avoid these topics? I mean they must understand my situation.",5.088829787234044,7.452391446808518,5.311648936170212,77.90875,70.70212765957447,8.104255319148937,33.026595744680854,8.841846274778883,2.9913021276595737,206,10,36,4,4,65,37,47,0.276,0.7240000000000001,0.0,-0.9337,0,1,0,1,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,10,10,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,8,0,6,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,1,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551278021407364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234315845955296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182694594197848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361217228729053,0.0,0.30049764636840604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337491372133121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936602551289471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32478094185621786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714406735089433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091029103472369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381703269478485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,B-lovedWizardd,2018/03/20,"First appointment with GP next week Hi guys, I'm looking for a bit of encouragement and advice. I'm 20 years old and have recently moved out of home to a new city (Brisbane, AU) over 1000 km away. I've struggled with anxiety since I was about 11 years old and haven't really taken the initiative to get help until now. I spoke to my mum back when I'd just turned 16 about how I was feeling and at the time I was on birth control and she blamed it on that so I went to a doctor and they changed my medication and referred me to a psychologist who was absolutely horrible at her job. I had 6 free sessions with her and by the end I knew more about her than she did about me and told my mum that it was likely I had anxiety but couldn't be sure as she ""didn't really understand teenagers"". 

 

My mum, who worked in allied health at the time, told me she'd speak to a colleague that was a psychologist, but it never ended up happening and I wasn't really comfortable speaking to someone my mum knew anyway. I went to a different doctor (father's doctor) with my mum again about my birth control and he brought up the fact that I'd gone to a psychologist and gave me a pamphlet for an anti depressant and asked if I'd be interested in trying it. My mum immediately said no and dismissed me trying any anti depressants as she said it would majorly mess with my brain. She also didn't want me to be on medication or diagnosed with anxiety because it would show up on my mental health record.

 

I've been okay for the past year as I took a break from uni, but have now started again and can see I'm already coming back to how I used to be (not able to concentrate on anything for more than 20 minutes, procrastination, easily irritable, panic attacks). I worked up the courage to make an appointment by myself for a new GP next week to discuss things but I'm extremely nervous and worried that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and that maybe I'm just being lazy and that I know a lot of other people have it far worse off than I do so I shouldn't be wasting time like this. 

 

I know I'm just being stupid and that I should go anyway to discuss how I feel with a doctor but I can't help but feel that way. If anyone has any tips on seeing a doctor about this for the first time it would be very much appreciated as I'd like to have somewhat of a guide or else I'll probably just start crying from confrontation haha. Sorry this is so long. 

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mentalhealth,janky_british_gamer,2018/03/20,"How do you cope with your triggers? Hi, I was hoping to talk to some of you about how you deal with the triggers for your mental health. I have had anxiety and suicidal tendencies for nearly a decade now and have got various triggers. For example one is my appearance as I have a lot of self loathing, to try and fight it I made a YouTube channel with the same username so that I have to watch back and edit video and audio footage of myself, it's very difficult to do but I want to be able to not hate myself. Another trigger is social interaction, I am trying to fight this by talking to more people like on here and have started a tinder to try and talk to more strangers, again it's difficult especially when people unmatch but it's working on my appearance and interaction triggers so I am trying to keep it up. What are your triggers and how do you try to overcome them?
Josh",4.768275862068965,5.813266919540232,5.5948850574712665,80.77612068965519,69.45977011494253,8.788505747126436,31.74137931034483,9.075114841892004,2.6942275862068974,700,30,135,13,12,229,97,174,0.1,0.838,0.062,-0.6789,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,7,1,1,11,7,3,0,6,0,16,1,0,10,0,33,25,18,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,12,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,5,0,1,4,2,20,2,29,20,6,11,0,0,1,0,19,4,0,5,6,108,28,2,0.16476568445970255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277118634067554,0.1260452976281621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669464097077113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16986618584102706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177816949414814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626720018589418,0.0,0.17513821778990474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364950180288768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645131087368746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049619079081835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400778928510047,0.0,0.15590527450335456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604505663281058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164949195932417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845555933987285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188654295202718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679578658747512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662199950490128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022691624619008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972972478665249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5593254212227904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594894533765944,0.09718306962601599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995138063649435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SaxaphoneGuy,2018/03/20,"Everything feels fake Everything feels fake. I feel like i'm living in a fucking computer. I don't feel like this is my body. I feel like i'm just a brain piloting a sack of meat and organs i was given at birth. 

I can't put this into words, what would this be described as?",1.7482758620689651,3.3431910689655204,3.5822758620689648,90.04031034482759,77.9655172413793,7.398620689655173,21.944827586206888,8.238735603445708,1.0345199999999997,214,6,48,4,5,72,39,58,0.113,0.75,0.13699999999999998,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,3,0,6,3,2,0,0,10,15,2,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,5,6,3,5,11,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,4,26,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23685295865369946,0.0,0.23803770980591116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38327879186371344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.539083159542039,0.4569994834579917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712977804225826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125235179687476,0.0,0.18828798229139532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435730519211388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147407161952647,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheLethalBranches,2018/03/20,"Learning to Focus I’m 20 years old, struggled with depression for most of my life. I’ve never been able to focus very well because of the depression and then that got worse when a head injury left me with really bad ADHD. I use a medication to help me focus, but I still have a hard time retaining information. I’ve done a few google searches but my hope is that some of you amazing people can give some tips on how to stay focused on a task, in class, at work, etc. for longer than 2 minutes :D Maybe some advice or tips that have worked for you.",6.065945945945945,5.377684738738741,6.5078828828828845,81.3547972972973,66.47747747747748,9.562162162162162,29.31081081081081,8.841846274778883,2.014956756756757,430,12,90,6,6,140,80,111,0.117,0.708,0.175,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,2,4,7,0,1,6,0,6,3,1,2,1,17,11,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,3,1,8,3,17,8,6,13,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,6,7,56,11,4,0.1829299378813068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198462366588636,0.17875701814607334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527388571422812,0.11151239223814716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151145748946115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872008383704492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040152360829157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754830651723004,0.0,0.0,0.14630578229153404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638692932400557,0.0,0.1877388915545772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261408136424246,0.0,0.0,0.18169070396712803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19875391275381424,0.0,0.12920882500654307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837777100565756,0.0,0.0,0.1842826672098792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108684536701735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919541976787095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682058589967873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718960239553187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949789741787568,0.1460880846922455,0.0,0.0,0.19123808942127654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666791786218194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579927324691924,0.0,0.15093635672499245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447598315765616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663503469252727,0.0,0.18642123484286285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178008824019584
mentalhealth,marshmallokitty,2018/03/20,"How can you apologize for actions that were a result of your mental illness without ""making excuses""? Long story short, a while ago I was in a really bad place mentally (my depression was a lot worse than usual and my anxiety was through the roof for no apparent reason), and I was a kind of shitty friend to the only people I was really close with. I don't want to go into extreme detail, but I want to try and see if I can mend these friendships, but I really don't want to seem like I'm just using my depression as an excuse or something for any selfish/shitty things I did or choices I made. I want to be able to explain that I was in a really bad place, and therefore wasn't the best person I can be, but not come off as trying to ""get away with it"" if that makes sense? I'm just really afraid that I won't sound sincere or I'll come off as guilt-trippy. 
Are there any things to keep in mind when apologizing for behavior that was a result of mental illness, or any tips on how to really get across that you're truly sorry for any accidental harm you caused someone else and that you'll do your best to improve moving forward? I hope this makes sense, and any advice is greatly appreciated!
",10.348411386593208,5.9865270826446295,10.451212121212127,68.02459595959597,61.231404958677686,13.565472910927458,38.45913682277319,10.980518767755715,3.9674751147842073,942,28,186,17,9,319,130,242,0.209,0.685,0.106,-0.9684,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,5,0,2,6,14,0,1,11,0,22,2,0,12,0,47,43,22,0,7,13,0,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,12,12,0,1,3,0,0,6,7,6,0,0,11,2,22,8,35,28,3,24,0,2,1,0,12,14,0,9,7,128,34,0,0.10323600437002864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088102866177767,0.09151248896996098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35102011542526784,0.0,0.07897526077370197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699362442709593,0.0,0.17239550295638115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166796348620421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060518141542128,0.0,0.17785735324848126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778340385814132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624043469641363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975988088830285,0.0,0.1078731027487856,0.0,0.05867140035814158,0.0,0.0,0.11381805927306801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253664613888633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176090409195699,0.0,0.10750441216701756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050435897083194035,0.0,0.0,0.09136061521987274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776755916094611,0.0,0.09768440347707996,0.20673250367311732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121128331128731,0.0,0.10423893513700544,0.0,0.0,0.10972353478431857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851563331592973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157084680498718,0.09014169701759167,0.21571930380642587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968137674504728,0.10614380642463732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226572947236928,0.0939821811053103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747153148922855,0.07947611981888701,0.0,0.11556425483608185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717082812159065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401809407558925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916276148415536,0.11369987374074762,0.0,0.2435650805203421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995158242273006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520630815165533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FrankieTheFreak,2018/03/20,"How To Be Part Of Society While Being A Complete Screw Up (Long) I've posted twice on the r/SuicideWatch/ subreddit about my suicidal tendencies due to my complex mental health issues. They are posted below if you would like some background info:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/7rfccf/thinking_death_is_my_only_option/

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/7wqlpb/suicide_thoughts_getting_stronger/

Because this is more of a mental crisis, I thought I'd post here instead this time.

Over the years I have become almost totally isolated from people. Only have seen a few friends, who don't really know my issues & I'm usually nervous as all hell in front of them. Seen someone yesterday for the first time in ages, worked with him many times but trying to drink a coffee while we caught up for a chat was pretty much impossible. I'm not sure if he noticed.

If I see any of my extended family, who know really nothing of my life, I'm the same nervous wreck. I've only really become somewhat alright around immediate family but the ones who know the most, what I have told them I feel has ruined the relationship I have with them. And I'm always taking my teddy bear with me to help me stay calm.

My main problem is I can't be social, part of society, being who I am. Like work or volunteering, going out to events, even if just with extended family or simply going for a walk, especially when there's heaps of people around. I can't do it. I have so much hatred for my sexual problems & I'm so scared that if people find out those things about me, there'll be a mass exodus or worse, someone will harm me, even though I haven't, won't & never want to hurt anyone.

Coupled with the fact I'm transgender & a little/middle (ABDL) & I've even to started accept myself in that regard but there's nothing I can do to change. The only way I believe I'll be able to take estrogen is going DIY. I can't find anyone who'll see me professionally & I can't afford to pay hundreds to 1000's of dollars per month just to see someone privately, who'll most likely gate keep me because of how messed up I am. And I know I can never be the young girl who I feel I am (not to mention the delusional standpoint). No one will help me there & understandably.

Plus how bad I feel being on disability as well as in community housing when I see so many others not being helped, some with really horrible mental & physical problems. I don't feel worthy of having this opportunity.

But I know I can't keep existing like this. Something has to change. It's why I've accepted many things about myself & I'm doing what I can to become how I want to be. But there'll always be my sexual problems which I can never escape from. And every time I think about how I'm going to deal with them, suicide seems the only answer. I'm not a risk of hurting anyone, like I've said in previous posts, I been through abuse & honestly, I'd rather kill myself than place that burden & harm onto someone else.

I thank you for reading such a long post.",7.601084272097053,7.545126142114388,7.761771555459273,71.53016166594458,63.14211438474871,10.262759965337958,30.162965771230503,9.827888789773867,2.723620493934141,2452,70,435,44,32,798,262,577,0.174,0.7240000000000001,0.102,-0.9948,1,0,2,0,1,6,102.0,1,2,5,4,30,34,3,4,22,1,49,5,0,5,7,84,92,33,3,13,20,0,4,5,1,6,3,1,1,1,23,16,1,2,20,3,2,7,17,19,1,4,8,11,59,15,69,67,15,56,1,3,6,1,29,19,2,15,28,289,82,5,0.049947522646009636,0.059179646856176764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001522902528067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312068010819045,0.5952993191100658,0.0,0.03396602817281937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477340751550944,0.0,0.0,0.08892776928937927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041704095100003336,0.06089509241772643,0.16548934375488394,0.0,0.056273753941197935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056757123086424,0.0,0.052369027202955686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526598379074569,0.0,0.0,0.05149370265967634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892955697262178,0.0,0.0,0.041724746044621064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896960292415263,0.0,0.0420829420482506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412582374049366,0.0,0.10101987281983446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130226164557063,0.04248533724699202,0.0,0.0,0.03858933209612007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354531264335338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309188092125156,0.0,0.0,0.10043631474308824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763273505073677,0.10693971206357586,0.0,0.0,0.10426447373730872,0.0,0.08879130615562528,0.05525953346666344,0.0,0.13724926102841278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035279412368608765,0.12200918309010038,0.0,0.0,0.08840397156968544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519168451681474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510060651334285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986763604888297,0.0,0.07343435236086099,0.0,0.11556782589510635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958519901419627,0.05686558558243306,0.0,0.0,0.06769146799396462,0.15194936677544338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817659935015758,0.0,0.10388196966941153,0.0,0.05218453037679252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391795996218988,0.0508145869895154,0.0,0.1911721344478206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049961039154988535,0.0,0.12799064794578568,0.0,0.0,0.05362494698327756,0.0,0.0,0.04751153190395219,0.0,0.05000618358443129,0.0,0.15920683528525165,0.04547034871916908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050915209297760895,0.16928149540850645,0.038452043148071456,0.0,0.0,0.035353113607333835,0.0532374134112925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926896592753438,0.0,0.047074948989213786,0.0,0.07510864196781948,0.0,0.0,0.04598496819114263,0.0,0.0,0.06636582930329023,0.03200435571899275,0.04907318740228049,0.039652753788512025,0.11649920848890125,0.0,0.0,0.04772699834232143,0.0,0.033911089235145755,0.0,0.0,0.05199713256849052,0.0,0.0,0.05501013966173179,0.0,0.05892068590461071,0.03964601861059089,0.0,0.0,0.04490882131508788,0.0,0.045069870347849636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272478271683731,0.0,0.050900792712522284,0.0354812870232913,0.0,0.0,0.03216456699017441
mentalhealth,skittlessummers,2018/03/20,Memory issues? Any tips as to how I can start remembering things better? I have ADHD and with that comes anxiety and depression. It effects my memory pretty badly at times. I'm at my wits end because I can't remember simple things my boyfriend or a friend has told me a week or so before. I just got chewed out for it and I'm in a place where I'm feeling really low and shitty about it,1.5268750000000004,3.657399937500003,3.945000000000004,84.59000000000002,80.875,7.5,20.0,8.472884824447931,1.2528749999999995,305,8,62,7,8,106,59,80,0.17600000000000002,0.698,0.126,-0.6505,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,15,12,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,8,2,9,10,0,12,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,2,4,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25769445973171945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581481318616785,0.0,0.16403280595607275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903402791649992,0.13071010951982268,0.0,0.18245795515159868,0.0,0.0,0.1896394849015136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470620057125295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468198811394906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991489984413815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841857788293112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566247375009685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149344967749475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380162735844866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22402612131697736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814500863359065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736469513622698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857983208051928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517695159991636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28490587573463444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250316215640081,0.0,0.0,0.20489011290378611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719969848471669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tostones85,2018/03/20,"Son worried about his dad My mom passed away in Nov of 2017. It was an incredibly hard yet somehow amazing four day experience watching and (maybe) helping her pass. She’s no longer in pain, she’s at peace. While you all might not share my belief in the afterlife, I strongly believe I’ll see her again and it brings me comfort. 

I experienced a lot of pain and emotion. But this post isn’t about me. 

It’s been 3 1/2 months since she passed and my dad is a wreck. While I’m starting to believe he wasn’t very emotionally healthy before she died, my dad has been a wreck as I said. He’s alone in the large house where my mom passed. He doesn’t have any close friends, emotionally or geographically. He has no hobbies. His only activity over the past seven years has been caring for my mom as she got better, worse, better, worse, worse, worse, etc. 

He’s seen a therapist and been going to a gym for a bit but he’s very inconsistent. He calls and majorly breaks down several times a month to me and my sisters. 

I so desperately want to help him but I’m struggling. I have a very time consuming / high stress job and two sons under three. I barely have time to talk with my wife in the evenings. It’s a lot. 

I don’t mean to sound like a shit-son. I hope I don’t. But I also feel like my attempts to listen and counsel to my dad are useless. I’m almost considering an intervention style approach - direct and to the point. He needs help and I think he needs the professional medical type. And meds. 

My mom was a wonderful person with a huge heart. She kept my dad going for a long time and now has left even bigger shoes to fill. 

This feels like a ramble and I hope I don’t come off anything but loving and concerned. 

I welcome all thoughts and ideas. Thanks and peace to all. ",1.8274089635854305,4.05973173389356,3.1183963585434213,90.36790266106443,80.40056022408966,6.095518207282914,22.241596638655466,7.279313950308263,0.6818621848739492,1387,44,298,19,36,449,189,357,0.114,0.698,0.188,0.9867,1,1,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,4,11,21,0,2,22,0,22,6,2,0,3,50,50,29,1,5,7,13,3,3,1,1,3,3,0,1,6,21,0,1,8,1,0,10,9,5,0,4,12,10,41,16,33,37,8,46,1,1,3,1,46,18,0,9,19,171,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255372457563849,0.0853850180728822,0.0,0.06592881389389395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606336688551377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784271707711588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745694495633135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015204461966862,0.1857677381163541,0.0,0.14582644637673825,0.09000527932606159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418246928003957,0.0,0.08405508322896454,0.0,0.0,0.07101645753531548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053168250614018864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556174930240824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27820836073346583,0.0,0.0,0.09194458947761748,0.10890428775911493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064406636445913,0.0,0.0,0.08337027461395137,0.11779312016440867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369446177704602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937073432381584,0.0,0.06593637489667492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385181216965954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769413179322806,0.1657773447463788,0.08710446804043621,0.0,0.16376695690872306,0.0,0.0951269648993189,0.0,0.0930669496405663,0.0,0.0,0.08181093455582886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957344199426658,0.0,0.0,0.12083094720723145,0.0,0.0,0.07295854945168305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017843005734354,0.07440709697953388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282404015855485,0.0898034743899387,0.09157444383377142,0.0830516117804381,0.0,0.08745790233215431,0.0,0.386220157052015,0.13160878836314846,0.0,0.0,0.12225935277453695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270083341956781,0.17544813806161025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870018919107849,0.0,0.0719851485641709,0.0,0.0,0.0779343095692315,0.0,0.07895661851840104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842119281275288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569557656156286,0.0,0.0,0.09313596030812887,0.08462549782908484,0.06819684979546897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583528509317811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443699847992107,0.08618624746818902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626373291141033,0.0,0.07590148985926358,0.0,0.0957214817768121,0.0,0.05282548573177631,0.0,0.06544971559098159,0.19229030353957616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053382573348301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406977865152867,0.048626410103193976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940480009263634,0.0,0.08372382270678591,0.33606164395626503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308992593154743
mentalhealth,anxiouskid123,2018/03/20,"Im getting some extreme paranoia I feel like everyone around me is supporting me to not kill myself so i wont find out the ""truth"" behind this world. This is just my paranoia talking and It's probably not true but this is what I think about on a daily basis.",2.087924528301887,4.150763075471698,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,78.62264150943396,6.504150943396226,25.69433962264151,7.554174236665415,1.4207162264150943,205,8,41,3,5,68,43,53,0.092,0.7879999999999999,0.12,0.3406,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,13,8,3,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,7,4,6,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855920562076457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065510740261056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221295905089692,0.2291892484004017,0.0,0.0,0.29321775243136755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761182721360485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465336619599927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35493263609176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673328479219342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458912436224635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640553895963017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578577614885159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20556435476628304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrystalMoon8,2018/03/20,"School is draining me! (Pls help) So I’ve struggled with Anxiety and depression all my life, these illness’s cripple me day to day and really effect my schooling. I’ve missed 40 days in 2 months and the number just keeps adding up. 

Some of the struggles I face at school are panic attacks, overwhelming stress, and fear. I try to leave my classes 5 mins early so I don’t have to face anyone in the hallways, and when I can’t I never look up at anyone. I also have zero friends and that makes it all a lot harder. I struggle with trying to hold back tears in every class, and constantly have to sit in a separate quiet room during class to regroup and calm myself down. On top of that I struggle to find meaning in my schooling, I know I won’t be taking post-secondary and I know I want to have a calm, go with the flow life. I feel very lost. 

I feel like the society puts too much pressure and stress on people and that’s something I know I don’t want to be apart of and something I will not be able to be apart of. My meaning in life has nothing to do with success or my job or education, there’s so much more than that for us. 

This is a bunch of nonsense but I needed to get it out of my system and hope for help because counsellors and family haven’t given much advice. 

Thank you....",2.472953687821615,4.064139192452831,3.8020668953687853,89.25792024013725,75.94339622641509,6.327615780445969,24.120926243567748,6.980632752743323,0.8317169811320757,1006,32,211,10,22,330,145,265,0.118,0.784,0.098,0.0997,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,0,4,9,21,1,10,9,0,19,6,2,2,3,45,40,22,0,4,5,0,2,1,1,2,4,1,1,0,8,19,0,2,9,0,0,3,7,14,0,1,2,4,30,7,39,32,9,33,0,4,1,0,5,18,0,5,11,143,38,9,0.0997804411330214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975042922597602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979438272439676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633176435568395,0.0,0.0,0.13953760890204445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351465656099367,0.0,0.07672500015223215,0.0,0.06082523078611868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782720921366902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305038970257846,0.0,0.0859407477381587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406932514970866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940641196683635,0.11228073688854633,0.10090397820731643,0.07128316708250534,0.0,0.0,0.091197515520476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770901213032863,0.0,0.052131162206169486,0.0,0.05670752413706433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337614528200691,0.0,0.0,0.09910449214372044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901669144988193,0.08868944071336496,0.0,0.0,0.16451016288821269,0.0,0.0,0.10565308000152547,0.0,0.0,0.2114336292914091,0.048747683432833484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379044020548189,0.0,0.10892213841039568,0.08482976286895333,0.0,0.0,0.06660421926411518,0.0,0.0,0.21738030406504852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964379615144132,0.0,0.2200503153524221,0.07398593278675658,0.07695682747086277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095742024360513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707084877255228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917519435243458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556208074395514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003069028814534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639219056140316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039325338005248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363171683098747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22859631638991185,0.4172487269147234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502247390291665,0.0,0.0,0.0918644242702344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548873953829307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002358504134868,0.0,0.0,0.0823293137878982,0.1177061788046848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blenda_mae,2018/03/20,"Does social media make your symptoms worse? I've recently been seeking help for my mental health struggles. In to process of working through things, I'm coming to the realization that social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram makes my feelings of depression and anxiety worse. The problem is that there are a few good friends that I speak with almost exclusively on Facebook, so I don't want to ditch it entirely. Does anyone else experience this?",8.893461538461537,10.420324500000003,8.04271794871795,65.1856153846154,60.410256410256395,10.855384615384617,41.24102564102565,10.793553405168565,5.069730256410256,373,20,53,9,5,116,62,78,0.209,0.6940000000000001,0.097,-0.8385,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,2,0,10,10,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,2,10,9,1,4,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609084625501135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421662744960982,0.0,0.0,0.12994290238897166,0.19041394750352286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008378481665528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006280002138076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252578038902811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524458155123685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178613542090968,0.0,0.0,0.09396574797305512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357869805120538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558728792901328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753809474534448,0.0,0.0,0.12456391896042165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480978606593789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872819339093382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782276005269235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349352580603215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788787763295933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19427920192994005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315780704824045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346312891242035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961261715279326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529295599793706,0.0,0.3787714972228315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RainbowRiki,2018/03/20,"My mother has delusional disorder For as long as I can remember, my mother has exhibited strange behavior. She is very high functioning, intelligent, and well educated. But at the same time she's suffering. She was officially diagnosed with delusional disorder by a court appointed psychiatrist during a custody battle in 2000, yet the courts sided with my mom and left my sister and me in her care.

There are multiple subtypes of delusional disorder, and she has exhibited all of them at some point in her life. But her disorder is mostly the erotomanic subtype. She convinces herself that wealthy men in her area, such as doctors and local business owners, are in love with her. When we were kids, she would ask repeatedly if so-and-so ever talked about her, and she would not stop until we played along. She would then use that as justification to begin stalking the men she believed were in love with her. Her longest recurring stalking victim was the doctor who performed my grandmother's hysterectomy in 1985, and in the 90's her antics (including love letters and showing up at his office unannounced) culminated in him threatening legal action. She moved on to other victims in the meantime, but she recently became obsessed with him again.

And as for other examples of her behavior: she has claimed to be a princess; she always insisted my dad cheated on her when they were together; she would claim little clicks on the telephone were proof of a government wiretap; and she has even claimed to be dying of cancer to win an argument.

She is dying of cancer, for real this time, but it took me a long time to accept her diagnosis because I initially thought it was a desperate plea to get me back in her life.

I moved to another state to get away from her controlling behavior, which has helped my own mental health and emotional development. But I will admit, it can be hard knowing my mother is suffering alone in another state. We still talk on the phone periodically, which mostly consists of her ranting about all sorts of things while I nod along. She hates the rest of her family, so she lives alone in a filthy apartment full of all of our childhood stuffed animals and photographs. I know the chance of her dying alone is really high, but I am at peace knowing all of her pain (physical and emotional) will end soon. This has been going on for over 30 years, and she has refused help every step of the way. I just hope the end is peaceful for her.",9.427072727272726,8.506454135555561,9.117050505050507,66.1296363636364,59.86666666666667,12.892929292929294,40.01010101010101,11.995994275388036,4.955088888888889,1971,88,331,53,22,638,231,450,0.133,0.763,0.104,-0.939,0,3,0,0,0,0,49.0,4,0,2,3,16,19,5,1,21,0,36,12,0,3,6,62,54,32,3,6,9,6,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,3,13,24,0,3,8,2,0,6,1,9,1,0,10,2,67,10,70,35,11,70,0,2,1,3,72,35,0,6,26,256,80,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711948650289885,0.0,0.0,0.07262598495012168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304650437888376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159730230462098,0.0,0.08200472872598491,0.06711481134217777,0.0,0.05320656736337606,0.0,0.0,0.09833742460963282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899026810465359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789468203718402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858984275848861,0.2717561883503329,0.0,0.4001329676786874,0.17867455856418668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636200183307093,0.15461267608124124,0.0,0.0,0.05764923067788012,0.07895196705922987,0.07353922301586008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228211968829283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120294844114757,0.0,0.049604624002471766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818792525718234,0.0861733427062319,0.0,0.09277715581108496,0.0,0.0,0.11700716393694753,0.18443738715758184,0.0,0.08669116038046212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439044447599407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483263012675996,0.0,0.12330034202784368,0.0,0.08747993819605496,0.07707199660067693,0.15448443156129352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363274386771165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879601738859916,0.0,0.0,0.10222414279769794,0.0,0.1855348484602168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287467363535264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251012118119125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934652913496687,0.055915368229470304,0.0,0.08618088301387146,0.0,0.0988739936638817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970387203751102,0.07297203092202034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030864359122006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798657703365163,0.0,0.0,0.0692925105070594,0.1526852839402295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697400614238548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538400705361473,0.0,0.07201715675258934,0.0,0.0692807408985889,0.0,0.0,0.07847739880645882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24801177411064865,0.0,0.0,0.05620703187498118
mentalhealth,mertensmen14,2018/03/20,"A question regarding social media I know this may be a silly little thing, and I know it’s only social media but I just wanted to see if some people feel the same.

I have depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, and an inferiority complex so I may react to things differently than others.

Somebody that I knew at school unfollowed me on Instagram today, right enough I wasn’t really close to them, but I’d spoken to them quite a lot and they signed my yearbook, then out of the blue they unfollowed me. We seemed to like each other and be well acquainted. 

When I saw that they had, it just felt so so painful, like I’d had my heart ripped out of my body, I started wondering what I’d done wrong, what was wrong with me, started thinking they didn’t like me anymore for whatever reason. I felt like I’d been shunned and told to fuck off. 

I know people might think this is silly but I genuinely want to know if others feel the same if it’s happened to them. Like I said, it’s only social media at the end of the day. 

",3.117753228120513,4.863469882926829,4.481721664275469,84.40895265423244,74.5609756097561,7.555236728837876,23.766140602582496,8.313332769828598,1.4129913916786219,806,24,161,14,17,267,113,205,0.154,0.742,0.103,-0.9523,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,7,1,7,15,1,1,9,0,14,4,2,2,0,47,37,17,0,5,8,0,4,5,0,3,1,1,0,0,15,12,0,0,16,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,13,8,28,8,20,19,6,16,0,2,3,1,14,9,1,11,12,112,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820599939701397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239495290335254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686869547113434,0.0,0.10265951563149626,0.0,0.0,0.12452981115307067,0.13660385357554172,0.0,0.0,0.1219743478977301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556834387755204,0.12315674298037815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205336676801423,0.0,0.2288851778996416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019067622419784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540070251925883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124257201252455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26201825611319823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911548771148393,0.1194612554667321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013324016425182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264434090510021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813011041083328,0.12682822304557334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526483962118016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114152566507825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352182502332946,0.12677489521505358,0.0,0.0,0.0763571651549061,0.12254877459635515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178894064789268,0.11337846777334393,0.0,0.0,0.12062822165018472,0.09498024121899268,0.10850751933911396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645023545994557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872879872278088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653352881704528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837115195791915,0.1527462772965489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297966179877597,0.11389264304111407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060453999934128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716752641242464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292581620160821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26063451883905603,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haarold123,2018/03/20,Girlfriend with ptsd My gf has ptsd from sexual assault / rape . I do what I can to support her but would like advice if that’s ok ? Thanks:),-0.6310714285714276,1.385183750000003,0.9225714285714304,98.42242857142858,104.35714285714286,3.6685714285714286,16.314285714285713,5.6839178017228535,-0.5440371428571424,107,3,23,1,5,34,26,28,0.158,0.603,0.238,0.3919,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32044445555226336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020756127794727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7666534115283244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721253351810151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30190922612384474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329484683462976,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ppomppom,2018/03/21,"Were we more aware of things in the past? Recently I've noticed this change in me. It takes me a lot to concentrate and process what is happening around me. I used to be more aware and conscious of what was happening, in the past, but now is like days go by without feeling very aware of them. Does it happen to you? Do you have any ideas as to why might that be?",1.6367428571428595,3.5459562933333366,2.4339047619047642,96.696,79.4,6.419047619047619,22.714285714285715,7.447530270364453,0.6272285714285708,282,9,66,4,7,88,53,75,0.021,0.929,0.05,0.4998,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,1,0,12,16,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,8,1,14,11,3,10,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,6,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703417520015754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938723148548325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131715842845032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995772060221986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17634335750481472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188985653736626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452316551966765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345856970248408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274810342452861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984479414933554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131717742699934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137709912302722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294212493116431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3847294985304364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896748999724126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151095603666145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338747444031213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404053132036088,0.0,0.16626741818709612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18183204930737004,0.0,0.0,0.19424910842830775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wo1ff3,2018/03/21,"I’m angry with the world I really have little enthusiasm to flair this text with exciting vocabulary and excessive detail.
I know there are people that care about me, truth is I don’t care what happens to me. 
I suffer from anxiety/depression/identity issues 
It’s starting to feel like bar the odd ‘good’ point in each day, I’m just flatlining to an empty shell of a person by the end of it and the only thing I feel is just a self destructive force that is ticked off by the world and how successful but controlling it is.
feel a bit worthless.
oh well
just a vent
feel free to scroll",3.8950478927203065,5.473723543103452,5.000459770114944,82.16829501915711,72.1896551724138,8.948659003831418,24.95785440613027,9.444778638647367,2.0868325670498087,465,14,92,11,9,153,79,116,0.129,0.698,0.173,0.6636,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,7,12,1,0,10,0,7,1,0,2,1,18,18,5,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,6,1,1,5,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,7,10,15,18,2,9,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,58,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019008127807275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42994470069286256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23648259896465598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597873393533394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867476695960072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.426441880593194,0.1506289859198946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684828038888378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864511163695449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200692646826799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158758793675512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300908926974237,0.21132387083102933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603584817371265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617461320228173,0.1841032806394793,0.0,0.0,0.199318364305074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507385003761804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995918158691755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492384402267453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400772356232133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957658213433864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Worst_Support,2018/03/21,"My hearing is VERY sensitive only to small noises. Is this normal? For some reason, I'm extremely sensitive to small noises, to the point where hearing them over and over again for a while can cause something that feels like physical pain to me. Things in particular that are the most aggravating are pen clicking, coughing (especially if its like a ""uh"" every few seconds instead of just a one and done ""URGH""), light humming, and especially loud sniffling. However, I have no problem with medium-loud noises. I can go to a loud concert with no problem, but sitting next to somebody with a cold is hell for me. It's not like I ever fought sniffling pleasant, but it's much worse now than it was 1-2 years ago. It's really getting in the way of school, especially during things like note taking and testing, where I can't block out everything with loud music.  
Not sure how relevant they are, but as for mental health issues I already know of, I'm diagnosed with ADD (or type 2 ADHD, not sure which is the ""correct"" term). I haven't been diagnosed with either, but I do struggle with light anxiety and depression, probably not enough to qualify as a disorder but maybe more than normal.  
Can somebody please tell me if my specific issue is widely known, recognized, and/or treatable so I can know if I can/should seek further help?",8.130404858299595,7.684898882591096,8.015141700404861,71.43906882591095,62.19838056680162,11.162753036437246,37.218623481781385,10.560738912317856,3.978763562753036,1052,45,182,22,13,339,148,247,0.152,0.748,0.1,-0.9134,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,2,0,9,14,2,1,10,0,19,5,0,3,4,47,30,19,0,7,15,0,1,4,0,0,5,6,0,0,11,14,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,7,1,2,4,11,16,7,30,26,8,23,1,1,1,0,7,12,1,6,12,125,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100531093301786,0.0,0.11137998453769588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865645643312882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096120905712911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907581854284533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822103458455558,0.2550615556510426,0.0,0.0,0.14400428709646734,0.0,0.0,0.128582236542513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982868718417767,0.0,0.0,0.1136564357312141,0.1058644424673445,0.0,0.11292494278711845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353175416022508,0.08976345090266429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564625578120226,0.0,0.07140904742345967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355868434356738,0.28323041623780604,0.0,0.0842196699045805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26228918046403843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381064706091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455424172372773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262309997724145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662432897561218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236624618259363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362880974080707,0.0,0.2462180814699009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514280573303046,0.09556149245996606,0.1336990675251316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792453257852594,0.11877862749346707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547054183939666,0.2404576586566393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049376972194151,0.12918778247009502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716318469627486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673050199136636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313552944738654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368448110499427,0.0,0.09447217945558467,0.0,0.10982249528220774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695081608173445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367333016357758,0.0,0.0997340835022404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804675194711224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091363830300258
mentalhealth,ThatDamnSamsquanch,2018/03/21,"How do I cope watching my dog slowly die in front of me? I'm not sure if this belongs here or even why I am writing it. I've always at least faked being strong enough to deal with any issue life has thrown my way; my best friend and his mom being murdered in first grade; my dad almost dying in a motorcycle accident when I was 10; my moms friend hitting my first dog Shadow with her truck and bring him back, lifeless on the tailgate; my mom herself running over the new puppy, Tuffy, I got to replace Shadow while she was on meth and didn't even remember it, etc and bullshit.. and other sob stories no one really cares to hear. I've been able to deal with all that and numerous really bad relationships and not break, but what's happening now is tearing me apart.
A few months ago I noticed my dog was dropping weight and acting sick so of course I took her to the vet. She had a UTI we got antibiotics for and worm medication, even though she showed no signs of worms. She did a little better after that but didn't stop dropping weight. Half the time she could keep food down, the other half would be thrown up. Called a specialist my vet referred me to but they wanted $300 just to see her plus multi thousands of dollars in tests to diagnose before we even got to what's wrong with her. I could barely afford the regular vet and had to take out a credit card to manage it. I would indebt myself for years just to see what's wrong with my dog and she'd more than likely die before I paid off her bills. I'm already 2 years in debt for bailing my mom out of a meth den and into an apartment so why not just fucking pile it on eh? ... I can't take her to the specialist. The Vet has done all he could. She moves around less and less with each day, and her bones are showing through now. She used to be a ball of solid muscle you could throw around but today she barely jumps up on my legs to say hello. I'm watching my best friend slowly waste away in front of me. I've been breaking down almost everyday crying at work, at home, in the car every time I think about her. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to give her the best life I can but is that really to keep her alive because I don't want to say goodbye or would it be best to put her down and end the suffering of a slow starvation..  
What are the damn coping mechanisms you use when you're forcing your best friend to slowly starve to death because you cannot afford treatment and the scheduling lady laughs in your face when you tell her you can't afford it because ""That amount of money is nothing to me"" The guilt is so heavy in my dogs eyes. ""I'm a piece of shit for not having money"" that's what I think. I was just starting to get out of my depression before this happened and now I can't leave my house, I can't see anyone, I can barely speak out loud without wanting to cry. It's making my depression worse and my suicidal ideation outrageous. I was at a point where I barely thought about death but this has sent me back into that dark place. I don't want to see my blood on my walls in my head but that's how my brain is telling me to cope with this. I'm not suicidal, I just have visions of my death; I don't like them and I don't want them but I cannot get rid of them now. 
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act. I don't know why I wrote this and know even less about why im hitting the post button. I'd like just a few words of advice if that's okay, maybe just a smile. I could use a hug. ",3.8327836637543173,4.104834278308323,4.642681489651968,89.55456880787207,71.15552523874489,7.602554352558707,24.463411802269892,7.295548434001253,0.7991160140489382,2718,65,615,25,47,879,310,733,0.153,0.748,0.099,-0.9928,6,1,2,0,0,0,62.0,2,7,4,10,35,34,5,1,30,1,59,18,8,7,3,106,109,44,9,15,25,5,2,3,4,3,5,5,2,0,29,39,3,3,10,3,7,13,24,14,0,6,21,14,99,20,97,72,19,89,0,4,7,2,62,42,4,6,31,407,128,5,0.05932749665424075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057974143099881,0.052590246167671384,0.0,0.11881583612017176,0.0,0.06546936782961503,0.0,0.04936522984299458,0.0,0.0,0.0403447321514309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041483165093650465,0.0,0.0,0.10562810036397743,0.0,0.0,0.055740136048425225,0.091238365718585,0.049535981595100254,0.1084964739075294,0.0,0.15144998992847186,0.0,0.31130273761476523,0.052470349592798914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622910704729583,0.06058000729575934,0.0,0.06048833680938015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23684089278035886,0.0,0.1303369385401166,0.038261327300644236,0.12232808797777213,0.10219737186973024,0.06021616027006064,0.1847177247700492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060712627144169626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254655270171421,0.061301163283342924,0.06616584128496647,0.19592626004589547,0.0,0.049985974705147006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092787669326296,0.07173904444821295,0.0,0.18334510698739145,0.05484731466630074,0.06199233669943487,0.05691234077081835,0.0,0.0,0.14234885623307342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492621871855708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060887127550450136,0.0,0.06686640052045019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059510316412606123,0.0,0.0,0.0684559656768181,0.0,0.0,0.06408387703611977,0.061922492739492685,0.0,0.10546600992020118,0.0,0.0,0.16302420306546875,0.0,0.0,0.06281925274257334,0.0,0.0,0.08380953081881956,0.08695325435296082,0.05946173754015267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0396015647022672,0.0,0.059602444546719986,0.0,0.0,0.059766211309941614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27793458818780553,0.04735464181208104,0.06305573992844297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729886596169712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692633311117708,0.06754474816085332,0.0,0.0,0.04020184714059508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061984606789694786,0.0,0.05608366067985447,0.0,0.05681934215996394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964052050204119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140201405722424,0.0,0.0,0.06369552871083999,0.0672064885049677,0.0,0.0,0.09435921314161357,0.0,0.0,0.18910533470617732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089882275654265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199230748882108,0.0,0.0,0.049600443712393416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297893041947707,0.0,0.055915463484538984,0.0,0.08921378817186185,0.0,0.10370969408214488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602932863343388,0.058288964240638265,0.04709940539778349,0.06918868079635539,0.0,0.056235529846117085,0.0,0.06591503172456191,0.040279475869069936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537197259593812,0.0,0.0,0.17496447324553294,0.04709140537647285,0.0,0.14448981600842095,0.0,0.0,0.21413535171460465,0.0,0.0,0.057189589668032885,0.0,0.04319112415136217,0.0,0.06045978758050825,0.1264336543024107,0.12973060840991912,0.0,0.07640992543389444
mentalhealth,Florence7392,2018/03/21,"Why is the school giving a diagnosis of what is wrong with a kid? I have a friend she lives in Glen Cove, NY. She called me a few hours ago telling me that the school doesn't want her 4 year old kid in the school because he has mental health problems. 
She told me that she saw some bruises on him, but the teacher told her that he hurt himself. However she went to the school one day, and some kids that looked bigger than him where picking on him. She asked about this to the school and they told her they haven't seen anything like tha happening. 
Now they have told her that her kid has mental health issues, and she's fine if this is true, however she says that the school is not being professional. She doesn't know what to do, or were to go to ask for help. Her kid is not going to school and this worries her. 
I really didn't know what to say to her because I don't know anything about the subject. I will appreciate if someone has something valuable for her case. ",5.7668297185048445,5.320344390862947,5.470687586525148,87.73849100138443,67.02030456852792,8.584956160590679,28.56898938624827,7.686295010490155,1.38432385786802,763,21,169,7,11,235,102,197,0.081,0.818,0.101,0.6484,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,0,4,8,0,0,12,0,19,2,0,1,1,20,37,8,0,4,6,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,5,12,5,0,0,3,0,0,3,7,3,0,1,9,5,32,5,19,26,3,15,0,1,3,0,45,6,0,5,7,110,44,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563320224416128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899295108428432,0.0,0.1806225234865858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177772327246137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986430069213009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230128621988145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463564905682145,0.0,0.0,0.09267091034101373,0.10980402673707404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542618415964671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053700739020304,0.0,0.0,0.06475131107092752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951350195534206,0.0,0.10341607882631736,0.0,0.0,0.10082898884552566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592723240802808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047195606019508105,0.0,0.0853026884650785,0.0,0.08112263651641621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19470727738393567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013691561929293,0.0,0.0654610532874003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243653336983784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618866961654236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364601178693246,0.0,0.6843755214021963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185185902967168,0.07437011842466608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844357447928794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692352580697973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697926598483266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955244183624259,0.08716966175884555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810557582089696,0.0,0.0,0.10562079698016172,0.0,0.0622095072276374
mentalhealth,kinkyjerk,2018/03/21,"I feel like we are walking a dangerous line between spreading awareness and making ""a show"" out of people with mental illness, as a source of entertainment There's so much awareness about mental illness but I've noticed that when people act out on social media, and even though it's obvious that they are having some kind of mental health issue, people use it as a source of entertainment. Whether it's screenshotting it and posting it in groups on Facebook or on Reddit, I've even seen people in the community be targeted who are known to be mentally ill and have become ""famous"" on social media within their community. It seems like people think if a person who is mentally ill crosses the line into bad behavior that it's okay to ridicule them and put them on blast. This leads the mentally ill person further into psychosis or depression. It makes me Furious that a lot of the same people who are claiming to be aware and tolerant of mental illnesses are actually using people's mental illnesses as a form of entertainment. Bullying among adults seems to run rampant, and those who are mentally ill are often a Target. What we need to understand is that mentally ill people do cross the line into bad behavior as it is part of their illness. Their choices are not always rational and their behavior is not always nice. This is part of their illness. I know there's people who follow people on social media just for the drama content. I know there's people who reach out to ""help"" when really all they're doing is trying to gather more information with which to use against that individual. I just wish people and society would show each other more love and stop using people sicknesses as a form of entertainment. Like I said I have seen it happen to a girl in my community and it sickens me. She is severely mentally disabled and mentally impaired she is aware that everyone is talking about her and posting pictures of her online. Literally thousands of people know who she is but not one reaches out to help her they just stand back and watch. It breaks my heart",9.238128961146323,8.463469696335082,9.178801322678428,65.06480710939654,60.151832460732976,12.021162854780929,37.64453017360154,11.20814326018867,4.409296335078533,1672,67,266,38,19,548,172,382,0.189,0.72,0.091,-0.9934,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,9,1,16,18,3,1,16,1,27,15,1,7,2,65,49,29,0,4,12,0,1,3,0,1,13,1,0,4,32,26,0,1,10,7,0,8,3,7,0,2,3,5,27,11,52,42,12,35,0,1,3,1,39,19,0,8,7,205,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.05481295625949677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347441087133934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319058430160843,0.09379773397717904,0.0,0.06203437737691653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04837837866097703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419834482797963,0.0,0.0,0.053671998916504135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028400793538505918,0.04012722881790723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967016516923126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970514539469316,0.0,0.06656067476881622,0.07529795103118989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862596555225263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058491492416517674,0.09260723420784474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232418090465113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775297513466853,0.05069482159920097,0.0,0.07498664428183488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6792631127644231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04129076431830981,0.04164868896473477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394891264427814,0.0,0.0,0.0380616477362562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165136138394653,0.0,0.5451683128397976,0.09808941384331596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758897611520772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646547717613296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03598337501028951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053429693411268915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226851014949473,0.0,0.06345511495482126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177202546843126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046959897378366505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045146609057534176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599090253178578,0.05518587283015991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813514379495943,0.0,0.0,0.05847403230474355,0.0,0.1940483327915464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459171317949337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03990092955377834,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kec232,2018/03/21,"Anxiety vs. Depression: How do I choose? I have had some fluctuating moderate-severe anxiety issues and trichotillomania for as long as I can remember. Over the last two-three years, however, it seemed to have really been picking up the pace. I was having full blown panic attacks and was extremely stressed out all of the time.  My anxiety, even though it sucks, was always sort of a motivating factor. I would be terrified at work, and miserable, but the anxiety would push me to do the best job I possibly could (even though I never enjoyed the success at the end- I went right on to worrying about the next thing). Or it would push me to exercise because it was the only way I could relax. I was in amazing shape and did find a lot of pride in my strength and endurance. 

About a year ago I started noticing that I was losing some of that motivation, even though the anxiety was still very much there. I also started to feel pretty low and figured the anxiety was now coupled with depression. My psychiatrist put me on low-dose Prozac for a bit but I felt far too out of sorts/suicidal to continue. I then saw a doctor who thought it might be hormonal and prescribed a BC for PMDD. The birth control has COMPLETELY eliminated the anxiety, but what's left seems to be the moderate depression. I know birth control can cause depression but this feels like the same level of depression I was experiencing prior to starting the pills. I barely have the energy do things I have to do let alone the things I used to want to do. I don't really care about work or succeeding and I am not in shape any more or even motivated to work out.  At least with the anxiety, sometimes I felt like I was moving forward. I am just not sure what to do. Do I go off the BC, and deal with the anxiety again? Do I try to treat the depression while staying on the BC, which seems to manage the anxiety (I would prefer to be on fewer medications rather than more)? My dr. suggested we try a different birth control pill, which I'm up for but this will be the 5th kind I've been on in my life, and the side effects of all of them suck no matter what. Plus, I do need the BC for other things as well. I'm just getting so tired of mentally juggling everything and weighing the pros and cons constantly. 

Is it weird to say that I almost miss the anxiety, even though I know I am looking back at it through rose-colored glasses because I know I was miserable then too? I feel like I'm forced to choose between bad and worse here. Has anyone else had a similar experience? ",5.641264907135878,6.174499890909092,6.466106223525577,77.14410557184752,67.26262626262627,10.589116976213752,32.533398501140425,10.527976200630613,3.3997357445421965,2006,82,390,52,31,664,243,495,0.21,0.674,0.116,-0.993,3,1,0,0,0,0,54.0,1,0,1,16,29,34,3,4,37,0,53,10,0,11,4,84,83,35,0,10,14,0,5,3,0,6,9,1,0,0,23,21,1,3,22,2,0,7,5,18,1,0,21,9,45,16,65,48,13,63,0,11,2,0,6,30,2,12,29,287,68,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531443955507702,0.0,0.062485269267434064,0.06462828749537984,0.0,0.04990180285406765,0.05192236624196269,0.0,0.0,0.042434603573465485,0.0,0.5250998602859627,0.0,0.0,0.04363200774550799,0.0639368728848062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098978423479907,0.0,0.047982272697052734,0.05210196299533516,0.0760777531352225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548566594733772,0.0,0.06812538311371613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362165409079981,0.06410268947733512,0.0,0.0,0.06542592785881785,0.06743296899820081,0.20996301271642734,0.09964373398140126,0.069045167757782,0.0,0.0,0.06433236314164825,0.3224736958419658,0.0,0.0,0.06519543138631413,0.0,0.06386974217466478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212776273393903,0.0,0.05526848275210002,0.0,0.0,0.20607530974485372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056081709366233065,0.06103984075227386,0.0,0.0,0.0946549792561988,0.08915811938418973,0.11982888091557532,0.0,0.05703309286822949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032601780854058966,0.0,0.035463745607306585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513009980630077,0.061923048306047376,0.0,0.0,0.06498070783178607,0.10288134873218556,0.05086488434156077,0.0,0.0,0.06779852357956853,0.06380892512491816,0.04407544710702225,0.0914574637412666,0.0,0.0,0.055222639938829934,0.0524008568702304,0.06981040168648284,0.0,0.05305082837052323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628621222345974,0.06288521066326036,0.06619726250852014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632204960121704,0.04587168118763085,0.04626931502999402,0.04812725284171341,0.0,0.06636383323184172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104359005079466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745853054666882,0.0,0.0732137553539855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034739308505357,0.0,0.06348392704846767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272992059830784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995094950543312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068780842486821,0.05328984148011096,0.0,0.049623526909776415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042171187291458,0.0,0.07049500901685361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061715870083528364,0.0,0.13250257169150562,0.06651082434161963,0.04983326525485539,0.0,0.07147977040599189,0.0,0.0,0.06825621807214897,0.0,0.05881190430728494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582496151628429,0.0,0.2452334129745029,0.04953917128757036,0.03638633948968049,0.07172040445275596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847319339851079,0.0,0.060956399144446186,0.0,0.0,0.05389415407877266,0.0,0.05148709778161177,0.0368055389920395,0.04953075686232093,0.0,0.0,0.05610570714247772,0.057846057383637524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628531906292854,0.0633709215765201,0.06359162600175562,0.17731061653120395,0.0,0.0,0.08036798664805038
mentalhealth,nmehra997,2018/03/21,Infatuation I have a very severe infatuation. It's spilling into my life and is tempting me to do things other … by Nitika Mehra https://www.quora.com/I-have-a-very-severe-infatuation-Its-spilling-into-my-life-and-is-tempting-me-to-do-things-other-people-would-consider-creepy-I-am-getting-sick-of-my-own-behaviour-How-do-I-overcome-this/answer/Nitika-Mehra-3?share=fedf058f&srid=up3OY,53.2092,67.20765012000001,21.853000000000005,-39.348499999999966,-32.19999999999999,11.4,32.5,11.20814326018867,4.6814,363,5,17,4,2,69,24,25,0.114,0.7490000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.1065,0,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.439683761027565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5732566002019809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584381084335156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695952619511377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348272174855741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882684348203719,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackExcellence19,2018/03/21,First day taking Zoloft! I’ve taken the steps to beating depression by starting Zoloft today. I already feel optimistic about my future! :),5.338985507246374,8.97230347826087,4.843478260869572,73.99246376811597,79.43478260869566,6.544927536231885,29.40579710144928,7.793537801064563,2.91860579710145,112,5,14,2,3,34,21,23,0.238,0.589,0.173,-0.4559,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,3,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784616812276454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796205247301393,0.0,0.3734382046355979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21922895398313347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687993573656525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30688718565327444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259950454118128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109791654766744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway214545,2018/03/21,"I've gotten myself into trouble and don't feel as though I deserve the mental help that I need I need help. Sorry if this post is messy

I've been having terrible anxiety and depression lately. I recently got caught shoplifting from work and subsequently fired (I know I'm a dumbass, please please don't tell me that). The worst part is I just recently finished a diversion program for shoplifting in another state, again I know I'm a dumbass. My trial is tomorrow and I am so scared. 

I know I brought this situation upon myself. Part of me feels like I don't deserve to get the help I need. I need help for a shoplifting addiction (which was hard enough to come to terms with), major depression, and anxiety. I've stopped caring if I live or not. I've stopped caring about everything except for my boyfriend (who doesn't even know anything about my shoplifting history and legal trouble...i'm the worst :(( )

The other thing is that I don't have the funds for a therapist right now since I was fired from work. I barely have enough to pay rent this month. I don't know where to turn. I truly feel lost and like I don't deserve to be alive anymore.

TLDR: I've gotten myself into legal trouble with shoplifting and can't afford a therapist to help with my addiction/depression/anxiety",4.592098844672655,6.317771410569107,5.336709456568252,79.86171373555841,70.66666666666666,8.756183140778777,29.6140350877193,9.276330184999452,2.722808130081302,1021,41,185,22,19,331,117,246,0.221,0.636,0.14400000000000002,-0.9654,2,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,0,3,9,13,0,1,12,0,20,1,0,0,0,34,45,14,0,6,6,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,10,14,0,2,8,0,3,3,9,9,0,0,9,6,29,4,25,35,8,22,0,3,0,0,7,6,0,3,13,121,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275442037213933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845580946832097,0.237371955477266,0.0,0.10257518011683604,0.0,0.0,0.08511441954755762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21090840483062528,0.0,0.0,0.08909614505225999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781689315318099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374253689756956,0.0,0.06831481431028874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295658869326212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689257823844993,0.07389070987599934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403812344106846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272275224504054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265333695598868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466361382161993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842132585466461,0.0,0.11667401439017115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106175359726906,0.0,0.09133095228482692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129065171731301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423353226165183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255717128895207,0.0,0.0,0.30676937168764623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240101226733639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270710744530921,0.0,0.0,0.09905774774605088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042501157764223,0.0,0.0,0.0883290101527899,0.0,0.0,0.1035518900249002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855587089578883,0.11626012117880084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157818827692446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294491821190006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040274248764492,0.0,0.0,0.2401813698117244,0.06871457252703847,0.0,0.1016198586015342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250259184564616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059714943580105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,columbusaveprospect,2018/03/21,"I'm checking myself into the psych ward because I need a vacation. I lost my job about 2 1/2 months ago, and realized very quickly that I was running out of cash. So I turned to selling drugs and counterfeit designer products and ended up using copious amounts of the main substance I push. I have realized that I've developed an addiction and that I need to go and detox and think about some things before I step out again. 

I made a point to tell all the main people in my life (my girlfriend, caseworker, my runners, and my best friend) that I would be MIA for a few days and they are all very supportive because they want to see me in top shape. 

I'm going to go in there for 72 hours and do nothing but read, work out, and catch up on sleep as well as talk to the psychiatrist to see what kind of insight, if any, they can offer me. 

Life is just kind of a downer for me right now, and I'm not really sure what to do. So what better way than to isolate myself in an environment that's safe, sterile, and (somewhat) quiet. 

Just need to get away from things for a little bit, think about stuff, and sort my mind and issues out. There really isn't any point to this post besides ranting. Sometimes it's just better to see your feelings in words in front of you, I guess.

Idk, six more hours though. Wish me the best, guys. 

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mentalhealth,Napalm_Nipps,2018/03/21,"Am I a Sociopath? First I would like to say that I care for a few people (My Family) but it seems that i am not attatched to anyone else in my life. I can drop one of my lifelong friends in a second with no remorse, and all my emotions seem to be numb. Will all the emotional pain ive caused to others some day catch up to me and my feelings will come back or am i going to stay a ""Cold hearted"" person forever? Maybe im getting too much stimulation and my emotions are numbed? Someone please give me your opinion on what im experiencing.",5.641621621621621,4.847968432432432,6.614189189189191,80.59263513513515,67.37837837837839,9.201801801801805,32.914414414414416,8.344100000000001,2.33747927927928,420,16,89,5,6,141,79,111,0.157,0.735,0.109,-0.7711,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,5,0,10,5,1,2,2,18,18,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,3,4,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,3,0,4,16,3,13,14,5,12,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,5,4,65,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034529502182296,0.16169627449640053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134710984320762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608990865461247,0.1621156244591352,0.0,0.13594041797624992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017752005996848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183104915212793,0.5325492449941963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877040129102506,0.0,0.07979410950045877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423416830058754,0.0,0.0,0.12192457998116965,0.0,0.08244986450224312,0.15138693054305327,0.08968776991519492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870070906197204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34092646025099105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146675263284976,0.07709860520546198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854261150715165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600942645865862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106936986923165,0.0,0.16792229610572726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940645019035433,0.13779469609603595,0.0,0.1732293622432462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549783976985074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873308693383381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371295967792635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820579462966018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210458389719254,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,constantlytiredperso,2018/03/21,"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I feel like im playing whack a mole with my life - when I think one problem’s gone another one pops up, often bigger. I’ve been (and currently am for some of those) depressed, manic, hypomanic, anxious, I’ve had panic attacks, a nervous breakdown, an eating disorder, gender dysphoria, symptoms of learning disabilities and a shitload of personal (or non-medical) problems in life. So I thought seeing a doctor would work. I thought getting a diagnosis, bipolar and anxiety btw, taking my meds, changing my meds after finding out they’re not working, going to therapy, meditating, doing breathing exercises, basically doing everything I’ve been told to do, will make me okay. But nothing has been working and I honestly don’t even believe my diagnosis. I feel like something’s fundamentally so wrong with me my mind is keep making up problems I never had to begin with. One person can’t have this many problems, unless the person IS the problem, right? It’s been about a week since I went off my meds, cold turkey, and I don’t know what to do now. I wanna get better but at the same time I know I’ll never get better since I can’t escape me. Why am I like this?",5.717738095238098,6.787282321428576,6.985785714285715,71.57588095238097,67.30357142857143,9.187619047619053,34.57619047619048,9.3871,3.4325229761904765,936,44,157,18,15,318,135,224,0.12,0.789,0.091,-0.5142,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,5,7,19,1,2,10,1,23,8,1,2,2,40,43,12,0,7,5,0,2,3,0,2,6,0,0,3,6,10,1,1,9,2,0,3,7,11,0,3,11,4,23,8,22,30,2,20,0,1,1,0,4,8,0,3,12,106,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757308661488703,0.07118448974831408,0.10512222129193052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586003054503933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483768681056023,0.0,0.16459378220308474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843662857531124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014551121631265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664560037697247,0.09524261737647943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952153788965041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145993770600846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362909579907184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409972719604724,0.1329526683745287,0.0,0.0,0.08504779973889898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584741540916993,0.0,0.05288356956846026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051207759686777,0.0,0.0,0.08270885176747682,0.0,0.0,0.10227784027141984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145069328858336,0.13638145276227456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422580306956635,0.09434007578754372,0.0,0.0,0.4134389731970791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395594692491596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353480605101415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928585902739293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916323572567548,0.0,0.0,0.1091764182921788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243748129897195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4451907628885358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946585987874454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741503594783122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394707504800645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716359399267375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671660866381968,0.06996348858845237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641301840814887,0.0,0.0,0.05962393454233628,0.0,0.14774571418143367,0.054259342401432084,0.0,0.0,0.08891512924211194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464066430633907,0.0,0.0,0.08626009316056205,0.0839649147461839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20322879121767887,0.0,0.0,0.06610143798955208,0.20347540726721589,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,issaprankmymans,2018/03/21,"I dont know if im just going through a ""moody teenage phase"", or im just being dramatic, or if im actually depressed. Help. If youre gonna tell me to seek out a professional, dont. cus i tried to. long story short i decided to get help from a professional after i get a job, with my own money. but right now i just NEED to know, if im depressed or not. I have anxiety, of that i am sure of. I dont feel depressed all the time though. its like i could be having a normal day and suddenly im just... sad? but everytime this happens im trying to figure out WHAT made me sad, and start thinking about all the shitty thinks that happened, recently, and in the past. i also feel physically weak, sleepy, although when i try to sleep i cant. Also, not  to sound dramatic, but my heart feels like its underwater or sinking. and its not even where my heart is supposed to be, the feeling comes from the middle of my chest. i also find it hard to focus on tasks. another thing is, my mind is in constant state of confusion when im depressed or thinking about the times i was depressed. like theres a part of me that thinks im just being a little dramatic bitch who wants attention, or its just a ""phase"" and itll be over in the future. tbh this isnt all the shit that i think, because even as im typing this i find it hard to put it into words. btw im 18, male.",1.6720745920745903,3.1181826118881126,3.828129370629373,88.84168123543125,77.77622377622376,7.004428904428905,23.455128205128197,7.793537801064563,1.0096344988344987,1041,33,235,16,24,358,144,286,0.168,0.746,0.086,-0.9801,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,0,19,16,2,1,16,0,19,6,5,1,4,60,41,26,0,8,22,0,6,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,18,10,0,0,16,0,1,3,8,12,0,0,2,7,25,4,31,31,5,31,0,7,0,0,6,13,2,11,17,152,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.06575414120542848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616536964375482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065485896415526,0.05154628451443407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107483533523118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804276961997217,0.0,0.07281492903303123,0.0,0.053798249774791626,0.0,0.0,0.043455174034156815,0.0,0.2901758050326309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369101086459449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900903684031361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627944311823798,0.048137003546822286,0.0,0.0,0.12317003600553945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040758829118374,0.0,0.03829417802603947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916960066056373,0.0,0.12072029128316795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596936310735496,0.09032813485089984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7278304820703905,0.0,0.06686525055769242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406167653645805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875686671958693,0.06753346879153305,0.0,0.05963006920650079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375753628317278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803560704218559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049962161541572805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601907871089106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729670623529517,0.06432279374107619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773652094030355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653061368653909,0.0,0.0,0.05754301023968401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916563350159237,0.0,0.0,0.06742966691210607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769262225756137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350579993810795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058893968444383826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04476494578280965,0.2158751368911828,0.06620149545374053,0.0,0.07858081194033018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724183848678828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039743062622666435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hooray_this_sucks,2018/03/21,"Getting over myself I have had the same psychologist for over 3 years, I trust her and she is my main support at the moment but I still keep her at arms length. I have had a really rough few weeks and said some shit in my last session, got completely overwhelmed and triggered and left in a huge hurry even though she tried to turn the conversation light at the end. I was really short with her and left without even answering her when she spoke to me in the reception. 

I know this sounds minor to everyone but I have *never* acted this way, I am always composed and respectful and look to be honest I’m just  really embarrassed. I can never deal with this emotion/feeling anyway but im just a ball of anxiety about it. I couldn’t even stay long enough to make an appointment for next time and now I need to call and make one and I feel like I just can’t. I loathe dramatics and feel like I was dramatic and rude. Not sure what I’m even asking here, I need to somehow pick up the phone. 

",2.8369110257168195,4.659197597989952,3.9180076854862564,87.82187112030745,75.53266331658291,7.697428318060893,22.76115873485073,8.4952907291091,1.2961933786579958,778,22,163,15,17,252,121,199,0.105,0.779,0.116,0.0662,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,15,11,2,2,10,0,13,2,2,4,3,40,31,17,0,3,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,14,0,1,4,1,0,1,6,4,0,1,7,8,27,7,23,22,5,29,0,1,1,0,14,13,1,2,15,116,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136908579979463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452502627114507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773482267677827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951911150585106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325868430027788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408641803519811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101762071183735,0.14117997368029034,0.0,0.3609832212639059,0.0,0.0,0.13056012978099804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072595412016852,0.1952234426881677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138589216612858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092790995581077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475887175496513,0.0,0.0,0.1214470305879591,0.0,0.0,0.07509075347118953,0.11137536212832956,0.0,0.0,0.2969075901061543,0.0,0.0,0.13350543995633354,0.0,0.0,0.1209172418356238,0.11473857623594465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240919300412692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262551595678002,0.2107619149389393,0.0,0.1453123516174232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258708019902293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26259469776467115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299707081300665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025336116689274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456342080079976,0.10911649629490372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550512229134035,0.12877640880288954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342427124801527,0.0,0.07967268164760663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276586345950133,0.148619111443824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845411433529598,0.10959996236681026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171079196001828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798814479105829
mentalhealth,_lunari,2018/03/21,"Mom is trying to self-harm Hi everyone, I just needed someone to talk to about this and couldn’t really find anybody so I decided to come here.

For the last 6-7 years or so my mom has been having anxiety and panic attacks, they usually just come and go but this time it’s lasted way longer and she’s been doing things she’s never done before.

Last Friday, she said she wasn’t feeling well, we all thought it was the usual and it would pass the next day. But, it didn’t, still fine though because sometimes she takes an extra day to feel okay. The day after though, Sunday, she cut herself on the wrist while my father and I were asleep. Obviously we were stunned and didn’t know what to do to make her feel better. We thought she might use some fresh air so we cleaned her up, booked a doctor’s appointment and took her to have a nice picnic with some relatives. It seemed like she was getting better so we all went to sleep, but the next morning, while I was getting ready for school, I caught her looking for a razor. 

We have been talking to her and staying by her side non-stop and she has told us that there is something in her head telling her that she is “dirty” and “disgusting” and she needs to bleed for her to become clean again. I have asked her what kind of voice it was but she said she can’t really tell, it’s almost like her own voice. Since Monday morning she has tried many times to cut herself. I have done my best keeping her from doing so, but this morning she did it again with a small pin in the bathroom, the only place I can’t follow her.

Sometimes she also sees weird things, like the foot of a table growing longer or mistakes a shadow for a person. The doctor we saw said she must be put in a hospital until she regains her health. I don’t know what else to do. All she thinks about is cutting herself and when we are talking to her she always seems so ‘out of it’ and always looks at the floor like she is listening to something else. 

What do you think the cause of this could be? What can we do until she is put in the hospital (tomorrow)? ",3.3273761933174235,4.6730997231503615,3.851168705250597,90.7730060411695,73.24821002386635,6.574015513126493,23.594943317422434,6.9077264865688965,0.6381413484486873,1620,44,344,14,32,509,202,419,0.063,0.82,0.117,0.9787,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,10,1,1,3,20,20,5,1,22,1,47,9,5,3,6,70,83,35,0,7,9,3,3,4,0,3,4,6,2,1,22,28,0,1,13,1,0,11,8,8,1,0,25,13,64,12,42,51,8,52,0,0,4,0,68,13,0,8,30,247,86,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410994082711977,0.0,0.0,0.06717163476175869,0.13978293455131524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425677122824558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852499608400566,0.09555766697209182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051203230693276,0.09276707103021582,0.07147447740477868,0.0,0.08814870372537155,0.14857541363307708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862871118586651,0.0,0.1447103706526097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706403498957897,0.0,0.0,0.1625115681702244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194709402506358,0.0,0.17191430513994052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403358932562634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026185393252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741282541580484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677089532579681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776896989136496,0.0,0.04773690790659973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620421086330614,0.08928390511677556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465957521595502,0.0,0.08746899156733559,0.0923240976689774,0.205404047816596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414496736402345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107110435203032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606803558408077,0.0851588413286213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910656700027669,0.0,0.19675038723493385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456405789427985,0.06478295502517846,0.0,0.1786615678105173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388280378432767,0.0,0.09855130181481604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733421371026858,0.08775802585777367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887852037675186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762007927328833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396985207261963,0.0,0.0,0.0850085172115282,0.0669340006838066,0.15293375296650866,0.08762623021657794,0.0,0.0,0.0694824252979322,0.0,0.0840567408802223,0.0,0.07116960593511909,0.12932857199279804,0.16614854162195866,0.0,0.0,0.08952864515624592,0.06707937792295877,0.07022448390513865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315459865559588,0.20253860196421133,0.14683255224708155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160652634062686,0.10764259279404416,0.16505144409186515,0.13336701000002588,0.09795757935502912,0.0,0.0,0.08026185393252172,0.09332273540310312,0.11405564923074075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103694197422976,0.0725456441756227,0.18501963030104876,0.0,0.0,0.06667217854150326,0.0,0.0,0.07552256336801888,0.07786520760270901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596684052069546,0.0,0.0,0.05409072154615248
mentalhealth,Royaltenenbummer,2018/03/21,When destiny calls to...kill yourself Does anyone believe that some of us are destined to take our own lives? If you believe life is a play and everybody is merely an actor following their script then maybe some of us are meant to take our lives. Maybe because someone around us can learn a life lesson? Thoughts? I have wrestled with this theory for a couple of years. I have debilitating depression that has reoccured for the last 5 years that have lasted 6 to 8 months. I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that someone who has had suicide on their mind for over half a year for the past few years is supposed to live. So I guess another question to tack on is whether destiny is real? ,6.31223880597015,6.6103875000000025,5.912649253731345,82.5053917910448,65.79104477611939,8.789552238805971,32.421641791044784,8.472884824447931,2.357913432835821,551,21,107,7,8,170,88,134,0.071,0.911,0.019,-0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,5,1,2,1,5,2,0,0,8,0,15,2,0,0,0,19,21,6,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,13,1,18,18,4,16,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,5,10,72,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281322191694657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544165671959073,0.0,0.0,0.21755909586134345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448900020016451,0.0,0.0,0.27534407139644546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247748616999052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520655652877472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524646257373432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693375749824703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461168160281606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794339687998572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921063510723952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262002901383236,0.0,0.0,0.323701542199092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455228088364342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24676443886979016,0.0,0.09753496486231973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664905182820005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688648026099912,0.0,0.0,0.13908477835226835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070710273148014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366160887011866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375101915261616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700926191647367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409569878135098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147585582803863
mentalhealth,theZottingZot,2018/03/21,"I need help to find the words that would comfort my SO after her mother passed away Hello, 

I my SO's mother passed away a few months ago. She has a long history of depression and this made it much worse. Today is mother's day where we're from and I am trying to write her a longish message to show support and comfort. Unfortunately we're in a LDR right now and all that's all I can do. I am kind of lost on how I should start this and what are some points I should talk about. If anyone have any ideas that I can share that would be great! ",3.1230652173913036,3.81970542608696,3.868423913043479,92.93133152173915,73.0,6.793478260869566,21.331521739130434,6.6274283507984215,0.09206521739130392,424,8,100,3,8,135,77,115,0.101,0.754,0.145,0.6368,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,5,0,14,0,0,2,2,20,19,9,0,6,1,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,13,6,12,12,5,17,0,2,0,0,12,7,0,2,8,68,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796152764963503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377922856159797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416804580926284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807466470631045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067668214200467,0.0,0.17452104280951228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851960324892928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233953246897336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581559881814215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22873952134320505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211003273250439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931718772265745,0.0,0.0,0.22118966474833196,0.0,0.0,0.191729143610946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173373776088534,0.0,0.14895305396097985,0.15024423783836965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154658808446476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730410664717342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341936898863406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299370116594832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286269838120107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206527784686975,0.0,0.0,0.13756941110875606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649269122187947,0.2878786775221644,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlreadyNobody,2018/03/21,"Bizarre Random Bursts Of Happiness Can someone elaborate what ""possibly"" could be the reason for this? Im currently going through a phase from recent events of being really depressed and upset and just not motivated to speak or do anything with alot of suicidal thoughts.

But just a random thought or song just triggers a huge burst of happiness that just makes me really energetic for the next maybe 10-45mins It feels like someone flipped a switch and I just get really hyped up and have a burst of happiness and cant stop laughing alot and making stupid jokes and just feel unstoppable for the next 10-45mins and have no worry in the world, after its over I kinda fade back into the worries of my life and get back to feeling depressed and agitated. 
Any Ideas? it happens as often as a few times a day. ",8.251142384105961,7.903335463576162,7.791117549668872,72.8225703642384,61.91390728476821,11.25860927152318,36.09354304635762,10.686352973137794,3.839443046357616,649,26,114,14,8,205,99,151,0.215,0.65,0.135,-0.9353,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,1,1,14,0,8,1,0,5,0,41,19,15,1,1,10,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,12,0,1,8,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,5,4,6,21,14,3,19,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,8,13,78,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943246926110438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414304544471568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331237913384676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074528553260056,0.0,0.0,0.08945375874544767,0.0,0.23893418479237435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040144294003915,0.09909144302635983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493609925248033,0.0,0.07882969608645424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265707069660176,0.44296467327805306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658195190132598,0.14982605362374524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979720004422012,0.06776464196604366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517438179721474,0.0,0.1393486078835388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950303593267589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636993561747678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665754396528649,0.14261265200486212,0.13695523256273912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504992897466298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115964250028537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172161976961848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023380498022704,0.08088046072265702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28172492234246016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,COH98,2018/03/21,"I need advice Today I was happy and in a blink I destroyed everything, I've known for a while i have depression but I've always beeen scared of what people would think of me. Some days ago I told my best friend i wanted to be more than friends, today because of depression and anxiety I pushed her away. I never told anyone abou my depression so she didn't know why i did what I did, so i tried to explain the mess inside my head. She supported me, but minutes later rold me she wanted to keep her distance from, because I didn't treat her correctly. Now I'm all aolne in my room thinking again of how to ""punish"" myself, right now i tell myself about how no one loves me, how everyone hates me, and i start to feel as small a pebble. I need help, but also i want advice on how to be able to sleep again I haven't been able to sleep and right now if I don't sleep i might hurt myself. PLEASE HELP ME I HURT MY ONLY SUPPORT AND I FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES ANYMORE.",1.1461940298507471,3.1656775870646783,2.7712910447761203,93.09395149253731,81.58706467661693,5.612039800995025,19.00522388059701,6.742157984588678,0.0689420895522388,749,18,164,8,20,246,110,201,0.17600000000000002,0.5920000000000001,0.232,0.9489,0,1,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,0,1,14,20,3,1,4,0,13,5,4,4,3,32,34,18,0,7,4,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,7,0,0,1,7,10,0,2,8,2,41,10,21,22,4,22,0,5,0,1,15,8,0,3,14,112,43,0,0.22073600946611924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157006737477225,0.0978345769715101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826125351016595,0.09183502133442456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443122153027724,0.0,0.10945540392764036,0.07717187509328427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369437353925903,0.0,0.0,0.134558622572979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582441180256645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252753646728107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117823253560114,0.0,0.28517940225828803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546135823937383,0.0991916460840466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161075876105844,0.07884692463386787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705400933541775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748879332305075,0.0,0.10896555511530076,0.11326941402625555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795469422975566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363024635042176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981001537102412,0.0,0.0,0.06065536902860979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053920232209317576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961143332618602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708301171061293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367295408330731,0.08512260922180435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957643270706852,0.08393984097225965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765152778541202,0.0,0.0,0.12115092630710915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850734600300076,0.0,0.0,0.11049762659189036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33134313355842104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811904181106243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504886077020941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964665008034192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143872193647275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20923192698974996,0.2109227164787477,0.0,0.07493263046764506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952937261838768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958995762660217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840226394961182,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tnite123,2018/03/21,"Should I be concerned? I have a habit for impulsively fantasising about being the best. Before I begin, I should clarify that I've never formally been diagnosed with NPD. I'm not sure which subreddit would be most appropriate for this question, but I've settled on this as I've wondered as to whether or not I'm demonstrating some form of delusions of grandeur.

For the past year or so, I've noticed a pattern in my thinking when viewing or experiencing anything that imparts some sense of amazement or awe to me. In a way that almost feels intrusive, I have this tendency to almost immediately fantasise/pretend in my head that I was the person who was responsible for the creation of whatever the thing that impressed me was. For instance, if I discover an album (In the Court of the Crimson King, as a single specific case) that puts my jaw on the floor upon listening to it (I'm an aspiring musical artist, studying engineering because my parents have successfully scared me into believing I need it to not be homeless), I'll conjure this alternate reality in my head in which I was the person who created that album. It feels me with this wonderful feeling as I linger on the fantasy for extended periods of time. I'll imagine myself in interviews on television talking about my songwriting process and being confident in displaying my very zany/quirky personality.

This is not exclusive to music. I've also had these sorts of fantasies about being the world's first trillionaire, being the next Albert Einstein, being the mastermind behind the conception of A.I. that passes the Turing test, etc.

It makes me temporarily feel like I've created this legacy and that my name will be remembered forever. I find that I do things like this ALL THE TIME, and am concerned if it at all could seem like a red flag for any personality disorders. Do a lot of people do this? I have considered formally meeting a psychologist, although I find the massive waiting queues and general business of my life make it almost impossible. Also, I still am not entirely certain if this is even something to be seriously worried about. It's just that I'll have brief moments of self-awareness regarding this behaviour that create these feelings of self disgust that I struggle to shake off.

Thoughts appreciated. Thank you for reading!",9.270510137344669,9.132816788968825,9.374934597776324,61.60908600392416,59.7673860911271,12.953520819707869,43.41497710922171,12.24349002098031,5.791178417266187,1879,102,290,56,22,621,222,417,0.056,0.7979999999999999,0.146,0.9919,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,5,11,15,1,3,26,0,33,5,3,2,5,60,53,22,0,8,15,1,5,3,0,4,2,1,0,5,39,7,0,1,15,4,0,4,6,5,0,1,7,9,32,10,55,31,10,35,0,0,2,0,15,18,0,19,15,223,71,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217961224523897,0.0,0.0,0.1713279182980358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284538712263793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815077052054604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529945977887187,0.0,0.0911513726637201,0.12068774629266205,0.11241600687181792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552673720226703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872471502468016,0.0,0.0,0.12276899226880132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946730256151805,0.07075186027739032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708158761306557,0.07652666897692978,0.0,0.0,0.19581178467214067,0.09111635964753638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21987239179331944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566214213727322,0.15700050879356206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106973564951316,0.0,0.0,0.1430070870502251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942824679448153,0.08261767682910345,0.0,0.11392351325602106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219570205450958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189442690537534,0.0,0.10225832065983706,0.0742636363714928,0.3741327933404996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768535500148876,0.119999103062934,0.0,0.10714915561445576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134626780819645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724597480751702,0.0,0.0,0.09751817722685106,0.22349939322688106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824663382638047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554630403911613,0.0,0.0,0.11198525722310736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009594900366318,0.0,0.0,0.08609913289688673,0.0,0.09862185807131198,0.0,0.0,0.14233175874186407,0.06863827793166202,0.0,0.08504144745761844,0.12492526206885167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838535661654877,0.0,0.0850270028295769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23233450415740098,0.0,0.1087857297068403,0.0,0.07609509347605728,0.0,0.0,0.06898187571740423
mentalhealth,Gostav,2018/03/21,"Medication isn't working, therapy isn't working, life isn't working. Struggling for years and now everything seems to be getting even worse. What to do? I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Also I'm a bit tipsy (for the first time in a long, long time) and Swedish so apologies if anything is out of order. Anyhow:

I've been dealing with mental health issues for a long time but didn't start seeing a therapist until about 4-5 years ago. The thing is that despite the talks and despite the medication I don't feel any progress being made. They labeled me with depression and anxiety (after one short meeting) and I've personally started to doubt that lately. I've tried the ""radically change your life"" and I've tried picking up new interests but nothing changes. I've tried opening up about what I'm going through to a few friends but when I do I've gotten comments like *""I'm not your shrink""* or *""Well sad you feel that way but I wouldn't go around flaunting it""*. 

The last 8~ months these issues of mine have just become worse instead. I've always had suicidal thoughts but recently these thoughts have been getting more serious and I've been planning all the details. I've also been getting more and more withdrawn from the world and other people because I feel zero interest in them. Also because historically I've seemed to manage to fuck up far too much with others and I want to spare myself and others from unnecessary pain. Ironic that I'm considering suicide at the same time - I know. I really don't know what to do anymore or where to turn. I just seem to weird people out and a lot of time for the worse. I guess I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and gotten better. The few people I know that have visited psychiatrists all seem to have gotten better at coping at least pretty quickly. 

Cheers.",3.646790492957745,5.9128515267605675,4.5252948943661995,82.37766065140845,74.5774647887324,7.029049295774647,27.43177816901409,7.972316293177498,1.8839595070422528,1472,58,268,23,32,475,183,355,0.146,0.762,0.092,-0.9739,0,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,3,2,8,18,16,1,2,18,0,25,7,0,2,2,59,60,30,2,5,13,0,3,1,1,1,6,0,0,1,16,20,0,1,13,0,0,3,8,8,1,3,13,4,19,8,44,44,12,48,0,2,1,1,13,18,1,12,26,174,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422953947697945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008980588824464,0.06967752662229043,0.0,0.0,0.05694536736669181,0.0,0.06406007861102499,0.0,0.08304655141690348,0.058552230980848614,0.0,0.06891003273135822,0.07454543206403656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209299100007907,0.09248310721373323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812061818656586,0.09142126099259723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716944202407672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633119539637553,0.07212424738858747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530879626722123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752591817402802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702280952145675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122832039466383,0.0,0.0,0.0646965162210906,0.07741532329489675,0.13125045820178158,0.0,0.09518156653970844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224791017098023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901060341428706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748034456680191,0.0,0.07443103918824767,0.0,0.0,0.18408297962431314,0.06825843252853367,0.09446119932749238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829461411205552,0.04091062821843629,0.0,0.0,0.22231904531623292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071191873053241,0.0,0.07923583289890915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871639382239634,0.08438918056466523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683964251851944,0.0,0.0615577740094834,0.0,0.0,0.08087561368945538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803497948551798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056743689501965885,0.0,0.08910416222524467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416216272039758,0.0731176338071804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440310042209024,0.0,0.08519263156062097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05364532489411096,0.0,0.08268212506385382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672911295720768,0.3049312329284027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412610458215516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854174009883416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754214733579957,0.0,0.1831936714785303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730620766023991,0.0,0.0,0.09576280378723816,0.09722739192235562,0.05563244708863653,0.0,0.0,0.13295876810199134,0.2441443179481793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22741304040315796,0.0910839470874189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987828216847708,0.06646809226324094,0.0,0.0,0.07529138569811546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828888903672507,0.0,0.2560114764248411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785029524952053
mentalhealth,Jarvisthe1,2018/03/21,"Question about Depression I don't know where it came from, but I don't care, what I want to know is, how do I tell my parents about it? And how do I let them know it wasn't there fault? And how can I muster up the courage to tell them? There are so many things I think will go wrong in this situation, I need some help, please and thank you.",0.5316602316602292,2.218250081081081,1.4490733590733598,103.5022972972973,81.97297297297297,5.3096525096525085,17.328185328185327,6.18269132825596,-0.8013760617760619,262,5,70,2,7,81,49,74,0.136,0.653,0.211,0.8021,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,2,0,9,6,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,3,0,16,20,8,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,0,12,3,7,16,1,5,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,0,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528658154818729,0.22541398818058075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042280206287135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564942624339168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819065067715606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645126090878021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260774967182725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241485680938706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393397783103006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454921007716468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24268827282642594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24766919949980906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24851221649812336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864813778847197,0.20354816009662607,0.0,0.0,0.14688106765477155,0.14166428678608242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304034522505637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417250611711167,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,schooly_j,2018/03/21,"Intrusive thoughts are taking over my life. I’ve had intrusive thoughts for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it was relatively minor stuff like thinking about slapping a stranger that was talking to me, touching them inappropriately or admitting to something terrible that I didn’t even do. They were always unwanted thoughts and always triggered by social anxiety. Fast forward twenty years, I now have a six month old son. I am constantly preoccupied with the idea that something bad will happen to him everything that COULD happen has flashed through my mind over and over. I could be taking a walk with him in his stroller on a beautiful day and then BAM- I’m hit with the terribly disturbing though of him getting hit by a car and being killed. And sometimes these intrusive thoughts are centred around me hurting him on purpose (I want to make clear that this would never happen. Him getting hurt is what terrifies me the most which is why these thoughts are so troubling).  I would do anything for these terrifying visions to not be part of my daily life anymore. But the more I try not to think about these things, the more these thoughts occur. I’m on a waiting list for therapy. Has anyone else had experience with this kind of thing that could offer some coping strategies or even some reassurance that I’m not crazy? 😔",7.595238095238094,8.427070020408166,6.770204081632656,75.61503401360545,63.08163265306123,9.961904761904762,37.5578231292517,9.888512548439397,3.7714435374149655,1085,52,187,21,15,332,147,245,0.135,0.8,0.065,-0.9651,0,0,2,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,2,0,9,11,1,1,11,0,28,2,0,2,2,43,52,14,1,7,6,1,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,20,10,0,1,11,0,0,3,5,8,0,1,13,1,23,3,31,28,6,22,0,2,0,0,14,9,0,5,13,139,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17927145102230854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240923438237922,0.0,0.10683412928541207,0.07532373720318096,0.11037686459120467,0.08864839322377255,0.09589797759073687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899457708047946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641231971897173,0.0,0.2580286406759996,0.0,0.0,0.06947363240322628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999030995921177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230252768401236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681617134939682,0.10537559835810306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256360182781884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857822531129551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306434130302075,0.12160827135646753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119181613221767,0.11217887997606628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217852977869625,0.05262893244410193,0.0,0.0,0.09533312431277123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190719044060886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877141465971048,0.0,0.08598496732714164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308406449009854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303913485056455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665554171909832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203128346326765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981194376698468,0.0,0.16586374319735475,0.10654265571622562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331920871994448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161991398679127,0.08658517383566243,0.0,0.0,0.12319278267413962,0.0,0.14313524025565982,0.1380515000914339,0.10583914256290627,0.5131291057371726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073138118757194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353892222489417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720494399383736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530493205908614,0.0,0.0,0.0693712874861888
mentalhealth,totallyToby1,2018/03/21,"Addicted or just lacking self-discipline? Hello dear reddit community,

some people may laugh about it but I feel like I'm completely going south. My problem is that I have like a combined addiction to several things. No hard drugs, but unhealthily high amounts of food, nicotine and pornography/masturbation. For a while I was also pretty ""addicted"" (?) to sports and extremely precise with my nutrition. As soon as I feel that I'm able to get rid of on of these for a couple of days I need to replace it with something else.
It always repeats itself circularly.

I don't know if I'm really addicted or just lazy and without self-discipline.
I can withstand my urges for a while until at some point my strength vanishes and I tell myself ""fuck it"".
Furthermore I feel like I'm too lazy or unable to think or concentrate.

I don't know whether it makes sense to tell my story if I'm just a lazy idiot but I will do it though.
Maybe someone can give me a tiny bit of advice.

I grew up in central Europe in a regular, in the beginning mid-class family.
As a small child everything seemed normal to me.
But after some years in my life I began to understand that it wasn't like that.
My father often drank alcohol and he also beat my mother. She always tried to hide it.
There were several situations when I thought my father wanted to kill us all including himself, I don't know if it's true. I was too young.
He always worked hard but never actually cared for the family besides of generating an income.
I don't remember that he ever cared about what I did.
With time he started to think everyone was against him. That the whole world conspired against him. Even today.
That's also why my parents never really had close friends and I hardly know the relatives on my father's side because he only fights with them.
I always tried to discuss with him. But he never listens and only thinks he is right and everyone else is naive.
As soon as you're not always acting for him he shouts at you and tells you that you're an asshole and want to destroy his life.
There have been my mother and my grandmother caring for me. But I'm unable to show them my gratefulness.
I have a close friend which I know since kindergarden.
However, he always had mental problems and since a decade I know about it and it caused him to have treatments in several psychiatries, too.
Because of this he also changed so much during the last years so that we became pretty different people.
I'm unable to talk with him anymore. It seems to me that he is developing the same disease as my father.
My younger sister also had problems for a while with anorexia, she also had to go to a hospital for months. Nowadays, she seems rather stable to me.

Me myself, I'm in my mid-20s now.
I'm studying for my master's degree in an economically promising field.
But I always tell myself that after finishing I won't even be able to get a job because I'm too stupid and too lazy
and that my professors always just let me pass because of pity with me or to keep me satisfied so I don't spread bad words about my university.
I have a lot of interests, also particularly in my studies but I feel like it starts to fade.
My efforts in what I do or want to do are always weakened by my ""addictions"".
In the last months I moved to a different country to study here for a semester.
Somehow I first could get rid of my problems but now they're coming back to me. That's why I write this post.
I just want to let go all of my past. But I often have to think about it and see the horrible pictures of my dad beating my mom and my crying sister in my head again.
I know that I can't go on like this. I would forever be an underperformer. Never reach my goals. Rot away in poverty. But the worst of all never have a family let alone a girlfriend.

Somehow I want to talk to my father and drum common sense into him again. Still I know that won't work.
He doesn't beat my mother any longer because of his ""persecution mania"" (?) and the fear of bad talk about him when he did that but still is a tyrant to everyone.
I can't either tell my mother to move away which I did often and finally gave up. I also feel to awkward to talk to her about these things.
However, I want so much to see her having a happier life.

I don't know if anyone can or wants to give me advice on how to get back on track.
But still it felt good to release my thoughts. Although it will probably not help for long.",3.529793831168828,5.157935248863642,4.840584415584416,82.74909090909094,73.2159090909091,7.983116883116884,26.20779220779221,8.634040054169528,1.890590584415584,3489,120,682,65,70,1158,346,880,0.123,0.7759999999999999,0.101,-0.9729,7,1,3,0,1,0,92.0,2,2,2,10,56,34,6,2,34,0,54,14,1,3,11,139,123,73,1,21,36,14,9,6,3,6,10,2,0,1,44,33,3,1,26,3,0,10,21,16,0,1,19,13,114,18,118,92,16,91,0,1,2,1,71,33,1,24,53,486,158,5,0.091745949838342,0.0,0.044765406264924965,0.2500415688365331,0.0,0.08965308035430729,0.0,0.0490242593260824,0.0,0.04751056745087751,0.0,0.29347681175529355,0.3435299094613727,0.0,0.0,0.031195195996373982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04549366468375028,0.03207545066327745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619833996511014,0.07054697228617395,0.07660403588413066,0.13981869866583538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008140761539544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031166561082534,0.0471241815344915,0.04852752492507422,0.0395155060220753,0.04809694143287994,0.0,0.0,0.03662583775501629,0.0507575742301351,0.05038930891975301,0.029584273846336082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585499045104566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319808720058559,0.0,0.07664196850678423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059733459156425,0.04149473209176778,0.0,0.13150078013526095,0.041227671950852834,0.0,0.1297348744907301,0.0516198502302448,0.11597377223904046,0.09831498734432864,0.04404524976551175,0.05025160177065215,0.0,0.03901952903202675,0.05546978335993776,0.0,0.07088269325943437,0.04240882612550361,0.09586694423219712,0.08801107506646992,0.10428267515874694,0.03847607493364705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327952547112606,0.0,0.04707890662065403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030747688127509387,0.04846731660319547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552184929112856,0.04077400784403907,0.050751650101386166,0.0,0.226895286002767,0.07478519428705474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407246745319752,0.09720431643135204,0.1344673104722529,0.0,0.0,0.040596139265130025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899956284317226,0.0,0.0,0.03062056696803465,0.0,0.04608556905320778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04622916927967586,0.0,0.0,0.05372587380272504,0.07323074185354636,0.09751142520322313,0.06744382955546781,0.034014229648210666,0.17690033118432258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0449457756659912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977692908289516,0.0,0.0,0.050936509947164255,0.0,0.04379094519565453,0.06360508972550223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043364788754463,0.0,0.0439336295110896,0.0933386142499422,0.0494588256598704,0.1755769668682432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877480475575236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196513818139613,0.0391752699352954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310964363299012,0.1252831004938967,0.09571103472956237,0.15547021330643526,0.0,0.07589319778276228,0.05156314581145367,0.0,0.0,0.03886802278558337,0.03531525724355988,0.0,0.0,0.06493825550939078,0.0,0.10990265108096203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748383841049284,0.20047501006285348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095193238503965,0.11757420023464348,0.0450699649482703,0.0728360360495996,0.026748900576060858,0.0,0.043482216437204485,0.0,0.0,0.06228947757791905,0.0,0.0,0.047755384688208086,0.055179540637335066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939948394587156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278644955947055,0.05121553827887612,0.0,0.04421991084115341,0.0,0.06679214417130183,0.0,0.0,0.03258684522263053,0.0,0.0,0.05908138368677007
mentalhealth,Ecnal23,2018/03/21,"I'm not suicidal or depressed, but I don't care if I live or die. Can someone help me understand this? I'm a fairly successful, middle class professional in his mid-30s. I don't have any marked depression and have only had fleeting thoughts of suicide during a prolonged period of unemployment. Overall, I'm satisfied with my life, but I've noticed that, at times, I feel like I couldn't care less if my heart just stopped beating suddenly. I have no great fear of death but I am also not reckless at all. I love my family and find a lot of support from them. 

This is a strange feeling because I feel so ungrateful for all the good things in my life when I'm not terrified at the thought of something happening to me that would end in death.",5.714672754946729,6.136364287671236,6.2544748858447505,79.11464992389655,67.08219178082193,10.050532724505327,36.08523592085236,9.994966539143718,3.5608487062404865,590,29,115,13,9,192,95,146,0.28800000000000003,0.479,0.233,-0.9368,2,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,2,4,11,0,1,6,0,11,4,1,0,2,27,26,12,5,4,11,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,7,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,3,17,8,15,21,4,13,0,2,0,1,4,7,0,5,7,75,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610246889064586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723276456881826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612470842045563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215454030475993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716316637355609,0.0,0.16365451147052193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396641349263754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486535432597454,0.17744204099441813,0.2391942954827849,0.11265183152673225,0.0,0.0,0.1441233263692993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322606174800621,0.0,0.17385079397689324,0.0,0.0,0.13944234983035209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868601979565595,0.1056944666222297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22275839267404451,0.07703804483094842,0.0,0.13924076608862318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406009505870162,0.14231893580257396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952802487836114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992828975254635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336079291537835,0.12139537979264794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183363526014547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449686032870332,0.17894166808188536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476042875671006,0.0,0.0,0.25037218893385144,0.09194872692195523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415803009409544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120165265897042,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sheabutter9,2018/03/21,What will hospitalization do for depression? What I said above? Is it worth it? I have hardly any money so I don’t know if it would help. My dad would also be confused and disappointed. Should I go? What will happen if I go? And can you just go to any hospital?,-0.5342348008385756,1.5849390566037762,2.068930817610063,90.71815513626836,101.83018867924528,5.374423480083859,15.322851153039831,6.937597516519254,0.0788675052410901,202,5,44,4,9,69,37,53,0.17800000000000002,0.741,0.081,-0.755,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,11,0,0,0,0,10,17,6,0,5,3,1,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,3,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,10,0,3,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23688012966235586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028677852000215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512642334496793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050312520173903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619387407623357,0.0,0.2653472102608102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985442408727061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279002516727473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817648494580604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208401243262917,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boiifyoudont_666,2018/03/21,"how to cope with moving i’m already depressed over a bunch of stuff i want to die and rot in hell man, we visited this house the other day and i had the biggest anxiety attack and today i found out we get the keys tmw and i just don’t want to say goodbye to this house i’m in now man, i’ve spent 10 years here and ik i sound pussy but i’m a very emotional and sad person and idk how to cope with this shit man i just want to die i keep telling my therapists and mom that they should just put me i. a mental hospital bc i’m struggling w depression due to missing my ex, me and my best friend (almost like my brother) aren’t friends no more, so much stuff and i’m so stressed i barlet even get sleep no more man i just want to take all of my anti depressants all st once and die man no one would miss me not even my ex who blocked my number and hates me no one fuck",0.8329350169387126,2.345351314136124,2.506947951955656,97.10028641823223,80.36125654450262,5.960086233446258,20.659377887280566,6.794906146795322,0.07589719741299694,675,18,167,7,17,222,109,191,0.33,0.561,0.109,-0.9952,1,0,0,0,0,2,7.0,2,0,1,1,12,17,5,2,6,0,5,3,2,2,2,37,24,17,3,6,6,4,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,6,8,17,0,2,1,0,1,3,7,13,0,2,3,2,24,4,16,19,7,13,1,6,0,1,19,5,3,1,6,98,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216637311000025,0.0,0.13407720423485114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294642772530597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382226902635937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750573929068162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835682495263728,0.0,0.3139408173934882,0.0,0.3782904422453859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667005885779804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049793088890169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321741853043695,0.18773970308515256,0.11232389824482583,0.12695646016129655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995514111376715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28038714273312004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799392311765356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935829039471902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244244843623285,0.0,0.0,0.1422981990652772,0.0,0.1291342440111541,0.08931576914921956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293925048981263,0.16466177842791402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608826922255536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214008647274313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662090769498093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471701143717892,0.0,0.0,0.12158677819800046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391767318556941,0.12701716961153742,0.27817464890514904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913521521119124,0.0,0.10619551017182503,0.0,0.0,0.14106974190749633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516687682177745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024942667385234,0.2866531104957202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630942710072889,0.0,0.0,0.07824139378153408
mentalhealth,Tiiqo,2018/03/21,"I see the light - coming out of a long depression (This may be long, but I hope it can help some people out there in some way and that it will be worth reading)

I guess I’ll get straight to the point. I have struggled with mental health issues for the past 5 years (I’m a 19 yo young man now). (Quick story time for the context, you can skip it)(check the TL;DR)
As a kid, I had always been highly anxious and stressed, and I struggled a lot with any form of social life (that lead my parents to make me see a psychologist who tested my IQ etc. Long story short I was “high potential”, whatever that means) (basically extremely emotionally sensitive). That stress became unbearable at around 13, and I somehow decided to tackle that by refusing to give my problems any level of importance so that they wouldn’t stress me anymore.
It worked. Partly. But I stopped giving important to anything, and I quickly lost interest in all the things I liked. I started to lose faith in life, multiplied existential crisis, and got to the point I just wanted to die or disappear all the time. Several “usual” problems still made it extremely worse (me being hypochondriac, lack of school results, coming out, disastrous sentimental life...). I thankfully managed to make great friends in the meanwhile but they weren’t enough, and I never accepted to see a professional (despite daily strong suicidal thougts) (I highly regret it).
TL;DR I ended up in a really shitty situation, living like everybody with highs and lows but with the highs still really fucking low.
At that point I thought nothing could get me out of it. I accepted my faith as a depressive worthless piece of garbage with no hope of being remotely happy at any point in my life. “It gets better” they said - “Bullshit” I argued. After 5 years like that, what else could I think?
I was wrong.

A miracle happened. I’m still not sure how or why, but a combination of many factors including a depressive boyfriend, an incredibly exhausting exam session, promising professional and personal opportunities, new people in my life and really small things that boosted my confidence made me “click”. In a matter of days, I phased out of that huge dark mass that was killing me. I am now free, and I know that even if it won’t always be easy, I am ready and motivated af to face what will come. And most importantly, happy to do so.

The message is this one: it wasn’t a real miracle. Similar circumstances as the ones that got me out can -and will- happen to anyone. And no matter how you get out, how much time it takes you,  how much help you need, a “normal” and happy life is there waiting for you. As insane and unlikely as it sounds. Don’t give up and I assure you that you won’t regret it.

I now see the light and I guarantee you that no matter who you are, you will see it too.

I hope it was not too long (yes it was) or messy (as well), and that it helps some of you. Even a single one of you. <3

PS: I regret refusing to see a professional. Please don’t be me and accept the help :)
PS2: you are beautiful ",4.90482605477424,6.323855982728844,5.723561559338763,78.58136010362696,69.48359240069084,9.244855662472245,29.157044164816185,9.606745405546679,2.715083691093018,2390,89,445,54,42,782,275,579,0.206,0.568,0.226,0.9387,2,0,0,0,0,0,97.0,0,13,3,8,24,49,3,5,31,1,38,10,1,11,5,104,81,42,3,16,12,1,0,3,1,8,8,2,0,3,40,37,0,4,9,1,2,5,13,23,1,3,16,11,62,27,63,49,16,71,2,11,7,1,36,38,1,15,30,312,102,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091444671868306,0.0,0.0,0.1237115577915074,0.0,0.0,0.06850578417605882,0.06013844918434901,0.042400801808072534,0.0,0.049901439987586366,0.053982334023757135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363103053641099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567076163739716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683199179383783,0.0,0.0,0.039107694702801926,0.0,0.15668707414821564,0.0,0.06293460347694768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050656823982791165,0.06821168341182057,0.053708919311555865,0.06265718802105485,0.0676294761128934,0.0801041145481395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046850207344967934,0.056060575744900594,0.12672730135600815,0.17451384502671302,0.0,0.0,0.09699847519860856,0.06685566248541261,0.0668016451439392,0.0,0.10724726028769152,0.1936567836794906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445733819127368,0.0,0.0,0.16258248640522596,0.3203467204615124,0.0,0.1806871980711147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329226172066887,0.0,0.0,0.06708902331480565,0.0,0.03332608256140966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569903693115432,0.08887672134137951,0.0,0.05354610956259743,0.21465748035451704,0.0,0.06784049506305913,0.0661955732162896,0.05155384259676219,0.0,0.11475780821889048,0.080955158191987,0.061479302773738184,0.0,0.06605458744897287,0.0,0.0,0.061110718753626524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915455250119987,0.04496368967994662,0.046769200290091496,0.0585663570748391,0.0,0.0,0.059414190189558985,0.05818558353631479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327342060895755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067333391064004,0.06566706177765091,0.05788761030113584,0.0840800907755702,0.05294838894776726,0.0,0.06656435921769076,0.22929708239853505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604831764321988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060656272509484986,0.06902143928211132,0.11654234607262914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576823956277031,0.0,0.0,0.06137077825925709,0.289932716065335,0.0,0.0,0.06850578417605882,0.0,0.0,0.06816174616231553,0.0,0.061814703262313635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042921206790213634,0.0,0.14528121757617946,0.05069764032454597,0.2083882728442414,0.1267879012245462,0.0,0.06633016732867911,0.0,0.057152352764359,0.0,0.045593629877117035,0.0,0.0,0.05582903816890369,0.0,0.0,0.08057286028520078,0.03885557536062352,0.0,0.048141277287811264,0.1060787744324249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678624141014622,0.0,0.035766962028040486,0.048133100300416815,0.0,0.0,0.05452251894355867,0.0,0.05471804398034347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044146542118361,0.0,0.06179720049740563,0.0,0.06630017024028381,0.0,0.0781001665899418
mentalhealth,yellowfur,2018/03/21,"College student looking for survey responses about mental health from other students Hi, would you help me gather responses to a survey on mental health? I am an undergraduate student developing an app. Thank you! 
https://syracuseuniversity.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_exnpwUgJO7qdJrf",13.9625,19.778845805555555,10.490222222222227,32.67700000000002,63.16666666666666,8.435555555555556,34.97777777777778,8.841846274778883,4.802451111111112,243,10,20,5,5,71,29,36,0.0,0.8540000000000001,0.146,0.6696,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,5,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,15,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6384206790006607,0.0,0.0,0.20128821689865428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521806984976802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6052739324285419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764806417384035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21332816769880011,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EXTREME_DOG_EATER,2018/03/22,"My view on depression, read this to change your life! people aren't sad here, people are sociopaths who are incapable of feeling any semblance of emotions. only sociopaths get depression. people with depression have an iq of around shit. people with depression are five times more likely to be autistic and ten times more likely to have sociopathical traits.

if you're depressed, ask yourself this. when was the last time you felt empathy? probably never, because you're a fucking sociopath. i bet you almost never get angry when someone attacks you, because you're brain can't even process emotions. happiness never will come to you because you have a fucking retard brain. i bet if you killed someone, you wouldn't even feel guilty. you'd just feel anxious. actually, i bet you've never felt guilty in your entire life.

if i watched a child cry, i'd feel sadness in my chest. you guys can't even fucking do that. you'd probably just tune it out, cause you're brain is so fucked up. depression is a symptom of sociopathy, depression is a symptom for autism, depression is a symptom for BPD, depression is a symptom of low iq, depression is a symptom for anxiety.",4.899607745779544,7.452132386792452,5.014409136047668,78.9852085402185,71.83018867924528,7.859384309831183,32.85600794438928,8.6894789155246,3.087816981132076,934,46,153,18,19,292,108,212,0.289,0.6509999999999999,0.06,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,12,0,0,10,23,7,0,10,0,22,16,5,1,4,27,36,7,1,4,5,0,6,2,0,2,7,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,6,1,3,1,8,20,0,2,3,8,18,3,20,28,2,18,0,13,2,4,16,7,5,7,12,94,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.06941998508771252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123397847766896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04837597201867327,0.0,0.054420029472205804,0.08036518068918362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332749971438531,0.06650400447319689,0.08092923054668784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009436687236015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959525135919759,0.2382390903463763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307785748742923,0.07525409323229554,0.06127869861275523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078141256064735,0.0,0.0,0.6127066581326494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004033319043814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095703852678645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387712675728495,0.0,0.13660640378470715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26306206715041763,0.07433286542311746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043735670307545,0.0,0.07572724259356485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870315690568294,0.0,0.0,0.057986596183946484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100493107813223,0.06950842526723319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21946264988908015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410331079912825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19727127479267986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339661699682475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115679878401712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302167069997917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120549227061442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696957520203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444262885364185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_me_adam_driver,2018/03/22,"How to deal with extremely violent and disturbing dreams? Hi, Reddit! I have a very complicated relationship with sleep: I suffer from occasional sleep walking, regular sleep paralysis+ hallucinations, and just generally sleep extremely often, deeply, and with very vivid (and distressing) dreams. These have mostly all gone on since I was very little.

In the past few years (but especially in the past few months), I've been experiencing some deeply disturbing dreams. These were long and realistic dreams about the most horrific things imaginable, like brutal violence, gore, and institutionalized disregard for human life. Something representative of this was a few nights ago, when I dreamed of a house where people considered useless had their bodies repurposed, and basically I was wandering through a house that reeked of carrion and had a pool up to my ankles of just gore, and I was surrounded by flayed corpses (and some that were barely alive) who were gradually but inefficiently having their parts ripped away and stored. It's some fucking grotesque shit, and it makes me so disturbed that it disrupts my day. Should I see a psychologist?",11.345714285714287,11.752993544973547,9.761952380952383,58.737214285714295,55.34920634920636,13.90920634920635,40.59312169312169,13.023866798666859,5.747884232804233,936,41,140,30,10,288,123,189,0.16699999999999998,0.787,0.046,-0.9755,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,0,8,12,4,4,9,0,14,8,6,2,1,32,18,17,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,15,0,1,1,6,1,2,0,11,0,0,11,4,12,1,19,6,10,19,0,2,2,1,7,8,2,6,10,96,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865459558040188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363603554553253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121373904995578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936009231548295,0.14962917873332476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417619428071242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349356666305513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251407893111114,0.07090627754757119,0.14546472688768314,0.0,0.12844108094303588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968796243105112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584643037729744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620060972975812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716849714521702,0.2770980905210517,0.1006192537727285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582209789332588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565486060452992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898035251795225,0.12005826829713408,0.0,0.5809645650973406,0.0,0.0,0.11173303413214804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642212563579662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592580054674285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346303517656296
mentalhealth,bepopcowboy,2018/03/22,"Feeling ""fast""/depersonalization Since I was a kid I had these episodes of everything going really fast, basically my body movements would feel very quick and it would reach a peak where I would just hear very loud noise/screaming around me and suddenly, it would stop. Now, for a 5 year old child this was as weird as it was normal, but I was confused for the fact that no one else knew what I was talking about and even now, googling doesn't bring answers. 

These episodes of feeling fast have pretty much changed to depersonalization, or ""out of my body"" feels. I'm still kind of weirded out why I have them and they do scare the shit out of me and no one seems to understand. 

My mom, brother and uncle have been diagnosed with a mental disorder but I concider myself as a very normal, outgoing person without depression nor any other kind of illness.

I would love to hear if someone has experienced something similar/is able to explain whats going on.",9.88449438202247,8.073511016853935,8.798735955056184,71.60967696629216,59.617977528089895,11.821348314606745,39.66573033707866,10.411451182825502,3.9453123595505617,763,31,140,13,8,237,116,178,0.121,0.74,0.139,0.6731,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,9,9,1,2,7,0,18,6,3,0,1,36,33,14,0,8,6,2,4,0,0,5,2,3,0,3,10,11,0,1,9,0,0,4,5,6,0,2,8,8,16,3,23,20,1,20,0,1,0,1,12,6,1,4,10,97,26,0,0.11976867533656076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144680627173972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066195134832693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26607199676759624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669937774646312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315658456862063,0.1215626843557992,0.0,0.0,0.13726527820711346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005135986294826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910608049451917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764036266373372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422345635848271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613459652794746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699760032529802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494412897254165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809590557253078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069865484617814,0.0,0.0,0.1402716250251837,0.0,0.0,0.08804375713277962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346957450645006,0.0,0.0,0.12567707750597054,0.0,0.1623167080914682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457738761072093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184780043329962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672688027280733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990933782624127,0.0,0.0,0.10903290382954448,0.0,0.0,0.12294082411086787,0.09907388589374394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014796099486261,0.09220377764214743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564741883528242,0.10013197546764127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962655244787388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468341489455602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29646510102914503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807260066548544,0.0,0.0,0.11545272906929835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254011531396146,0.0,0.0,0.07712710014647793
mentalhealth,iv1854,2018/03/22,"Girlfriend recently began suffering from severe anxiety I’m afraid she’s losing her ability to function regularly My girlfriend is in her early to mid 30s and recently started a new job a little over a year ago. Shes pretty successful but her new job has been very stressful for her. And it seems the stress may have awoken some neurosis that she hadn’t experienced before. 
She began having panic attacks before going to work in the morning. Her attacks include shortness of breath and uncontrollable shaking and nausea. She would hide this and cope by turning to alchol to calm her nerves. Up until a certain point she hid it from me but it got to a point where she couldn’t hide it anymore. When I found out I convinced her to get help and we went to a psychiatrist who gave he three different medications and told her to come back in a month to see how they worked.

Since then she has gotten worst to where she fainted at work and is now on leave from wrok. Her anxiety isn’t just about work anymore, she now gets into these moods of self-loathing.  And her trigger for her anxiety can be small things and im afraid shes losing her ability to function. And to add to this she relied on alcohol to calm her down for so long that she is now an alcoholic and she needs to drink at least some alcohol pretty much every day. 

Im looking for any advice for steps we can take to get her some help. I was taking to her about trying some type of inpatient treatment where she can receive more thorough help. Do you guys have any advice?
",5.0110099073186305,6.264983731543622,5.466433365292428,81.14576062639824,69.06711409395972,8.360754234579739,28.955576861617132,8.704169506293173,2.198486545222115,1224,44,229,20,21,392,166,298,0.163,0.73,0.107,-0.9397,3,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,2,1,1,7,13,19,2,7,10,0,22,7,1,2,1,34,44,19,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,1,11,18,4,0,2,1,0,6,3,13,0,1,11,3,39,5,45,29,8,47,0,3,2,0,45,21,0,6,20,160,50,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852374381056429,0.08401747700402444,0.30387561141351943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890841373737807,0.0,0.21752120056922652,0.0,0.1879942075108006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565372848184075,0.0,0.0728805990868155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613029915028511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164528281738688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112578702096745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902578244172676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284911886254536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985692759306952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392227553243276,0.0,0.0,0.14855719746389806,0.0,0.05386612347525764,0.0,0.07580487908334753,0.0,0.0,0.0938479119028599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905887545827361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475909726852398,0.0,0.18811067522042385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035920170218997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949952801223087,0.0,0.08387804194495024,0.07959201652404102,0.21207098419557024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548170336265656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075653145201022,0.0,0.06967480734357319,0.07027877608076892,0.0,0.1830798105772293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120486904159836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919701902318833,0.0,0.0,0.1928523338145344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716924798787365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552804116641249,0.0862848975990084,0.09887706480178153,0.10707534681020503,0.0,0.07840367264217668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708635128916278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171422151121534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252676004355735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296816438416256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056713398239584,0.0,0.06434995430091912,0.10309431371625692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820410165348013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786276847592435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760062593048489,0.0,0.0,0.06732957418897184,0.0,0.0,0.0610357397125843
mentalhealth,throwawaymaybeyes,2018/03/22,"He gave me an ultimatum. I gave him suicide. I was always the motivator, look how many friends I helped figuring out what they want to study, how many people I helped get over their issues. But they never knew or cared what was going on with ME. I was always the one listening, the one being there, the one to jump in his car and drive there at a moments notice. But no one. Not a SINGLE one has ever done anything even remotely like that for me. Ever. Distance was never a issue dad. But you saw it, you said nothing. You think I should just rough it on my own. Im not strong enough. Do you think I would be here if I had a choice? Do you think i would struggle to keep a job if I had a choice?! I can't handle work enviroments. I dont know whats wrong with me and neither do you. I can't anymore. I dont want to anymore. I will not anymore.",0.3478060319337644,2.3802377191011246,2.449077468953284,94.19009757539921,84.73033707865169,5.095683027794205,18.918982850384392,6.339386263674448,-0.13652134831460705,646,17,148,6,19,217,102,178,0.08800000000000001,0.847,0.065,-0.7124,1,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,6,3,3,9,6,0,1,11,0,21,0,0,3,4,34,38,10,1,7,10,1,1,1,1,4,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,1,7,0,0,4,11,2,0,5,12,5,31,4,13,20,4,15,0,0,2,0,20,6,0,3,6,114,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005101414481296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35847302376952483,0.0,0.0,0.09915076696866884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228448141352276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330032185692888,0.2824203945066112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449557066756235,0.0,0.07958071347009132,0.21797528933379004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930881752520628,0.0,0.06294963195673098,0.0,0.06847569903559866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152017082835124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301469403659668,0.25151483782220097,0.1195650359700901,0.10709463236739264,0.0,0.0,0.0662166592155845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886399997575612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117897144835447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24431038560135904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858544394882162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561079671408908,0.1371755692304645,0.0,0.0,0.4082265028581005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353071062946202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146109965664256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259594678218586,0.0,0.13179353071644248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316101558776525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213304137522542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771617634960058,0.0,0.0,0.1711814164788288,0.1317339285421974,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuppressedDynamic,2018/03/22,"Myself [21M] I need help with all this, it’s seems to be too much in my head. I have already posted my relationship story, if you would like to read it I’d greatly thank you. [My story](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/85ezfg/me_21m_my_ex_20f_how_to_continue_after_everything/?st=JF258NRP&sh=e6c73459)

It’s been about a week and a half and it gets a tad better at times, but at the same time it still pulls my heart or what’s left of it. I get sudden flashes of memories and I remain still just thinking about what we were as if I’m trying to relive that memory to it’s fullest. My mind & self still have not understood nor want to come to terms that it’s over. 

It seems as though I cannot let go, unless it’s just too early? Through those 4 years I was molding everything we told each other into my head and I believed it all, trusted it all with everything I had. I feel like I gave everything to her, handed her my heart because I trusted her, gave my soul to be with hers. My mind and body feel drained, all this is extremely overwhelming mentally. 

Why can’t I let go? When will I be? I understand people say to keep busy, but I don’t have anybody to hang out with where I am and I’m not very social. When I was with her, my whole life revolved around her, all I wanted was nothing more than to just be in her presence because that gave me life, gave me the purest form of happiness. Now that we’re split, I remain alone, sometimes with completely nothing to do, thus leading to strong thoughts of what was. It’s constantly just sitting there, feeling that void of all emotions absent.

In the most truth of it all, somehow I believe she wasn’t meant for me and I truly think there’s somebody out there, but I don’t think I’ll ever meet them. I’ve never felt so alone, time will tell, as I’ve been told. But till that said time is told, I don’t have anything to keep my mind busy, nobody to hangout with. If anybody is reading this, I thank you for being there, & if anybody comments, I greatly appreciate you reaching out, seriously. 

TLDR Coping with being alone, struggling to get the saddened memories & thoughts out of my head. ",5.004250143336883,6.099513087885987,5.038945040543863,84.79263657957249,68.95249406175772,7.80214595789991,28.76902285199443,7.990435384864732,1.725085608976984,1714,60,340,21,29,534,203,421,0.051,0.8270000000000001,0.122,0.9812,0,3,0,0,0,0,75.0,2,4,1,3,24,15,0,2,7,0,34,9,7,2,10,79,71,26,0,8,16,0,5,2,0,3,2,2,0,1,28,25,0,2,14,3,0,6,10,3,0,1,22,7,56,12,54,38,15,41,1,1,0,0,31,14,0,9,21,235,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24434267817005226,0.08678144693414863,0.0,0.0,0.3408266160346902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647142069303309,0.07000647547374778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587670595763632,0.0,0.0,0.17720121427000385,0.0,0.06955089089380137,0.0,0.08735156495947025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774159300217165,0.0824527826968803,0.08498214884184878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845967163426313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113458831893403,0.0,0.0,0.21203029809322274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928858621050807,0.05618059448167477,0.07550695116057618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325881987145915,0.0,0.08938610749201924,0.0,0.0,0.1734022576351155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371398484435498,0.0,0.0,0.2421226844091491,0.0,0.0,0.18637809725573415,0.05271088705602905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397980956080991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544283764593273,0.1608299220088874,0.11109183718189647,0.07683928610218026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925085328333674,0.0,0.23821263692704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057809615922696365,0.05831073249635878,0.060652191726170375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091483910155026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451923225587097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531560010355973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157323018004203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443017441604038,0.0,0.0,0.07480486510643768,0.06253786556567936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431822198095525,0.08203890843311816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016380888506403,0.0,0.0,0.0777771961587891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840656260929772,0.0,0.0,0.08221184076199739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873502534016572,0.1448027122937751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511684479391761,0.0772636245741672,0.12486311341191195,0.18342299704493628,0.0,0.0,0.225432323261011,0.0,0.05339155262296301,0.0,0.0,0.08186725057762106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488642383858992,0.0927680877556918,0.0,0.06308044726751226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709605739202671,0.08779900597847792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558637615588926,0.0,0.0,0.05064172840755803
mentalhealth,bipolarpsych,2018/03/22,"mental issue anxious to be alive, worst moment of day is waking up, next worst moment is seeing people. i contemplate killing people. i contemplate death. i dream about killing people, people dying. i hate people. i hate myself. i dont deserve to be alive. i see alot of people who i believe dont deserve to be alive. i despise them even if they help me, say nice words to me. even if they are my friends, even if they are part of my family. i want to die really please. i believe in superiority and know where i stand - far from the top. the more whys i ask the more answers i get and the clearer i see. the more i learn about truth, the more i see how independent it is from anything. truth is not moral, truth is not ethical. death is beautiful and is the ultimate peace. i cant live because im not suppose to be here, you reading this are probably not supposed to be here. i hate you all. thanks for nothing",1.556609145815358,3.8113079453551935,3.3193212539545582,88.41960310612599,81.56830601092895,6.0384239286741455,23.29278113316077,7.273561745256523,0.9736513661202184,706,25,145,10,19,235,95,183,0.213,0.585,0.202,-0.8562,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,2,4,1,9,15,6,0,8,0,18,1,1,2,4,22,30,7,6,4,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,7,8,0,0,0,5,30,7,17,25,9,10,1,0,4,0,11,5,0,4,4,101,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714730476121197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261748733243967,0.0,0.10521727011723923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860827027569988,0.0,0.0,0.2536063099036898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258420638039123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336142941665939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638110436291852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230108534829112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610032156138853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695437418988633,0.0,0.0588017311270683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333538102489532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754386114852519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157124921191664,0.11747096375603085,0.0,0.0,0.249035569656927,0.0,0.06185348619677158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938202435338513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342200187906938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969616922857496,0.0,0.0,0.10799292660584203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187861239802045,0.0,0.4681600417294936,0.0,0.0,0.12354400390389672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134587543619645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257854587318007,0.0,0.07210118761943306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950275753302052,0.0,0.0,0.35874502037243794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036191588194052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638377877223492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bburns777,2018/03/22,mental health Ever since I started doing drugs especially fake weed my brain and body have felt off. like seriously off. i have stopped using for a while now and I know of course I did some irreversible damage but i can't find anyone else that feels the way I do. when i drink water or any other liquid or eat food with liquid my body and mind start to feel off. my body gets heavy and my brain gets foggy. my mouth gets dry and i feel alot of pressure squeezing my head. like a head pressure headache. peeing makes me feel better or working out but then when i consume liquids again it's back to the way I felt before. I can't even enjoy the little things in life anymore because I feel so off. my body should and mind should not be responding the way it does to food and drink. I get really irritable and my social life suffers and i am unable to concentrate on things.  I have yet to find anyone else that feels the way I do and idk what to do anymore. Idk if i can live a normal life. I want to be hopeful and recover from this but i have no idea what to do because it is complex.  I also lose my sense of taste time to time.  at first I didn't know what was going on and thought this will go away eventually but it didnt. i never really brought it up because I feel crazy everytime i do just explsining it  I have becone really ocd from this and I limited my diet severely and i don't eat or drink much now to control my symptoms. Can someone give me some advice? Has anyone ever smoked fake weed or done any orther drug and had symptoms like this?,2.162331121505492,4.121552782334387,3.5254693788752327,89.25608832807573,77.9589905362776,6.265158272598717,21.97204394648102,7.237678284180719,0.6801768519525728,1220,35,254,15,29,399,160,317,0.154,0.79,0.055,-0.9822,0,0,6,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,6,13,14,0,2,9,0,30,28,10,3,3,63,56,31,0,6,12,0,10,3,0,3,8,0,0,0,18,17,10,3,16,3,0,3,8,8,0,1,10,11,40,6,28,41,4,37,0,3,0,0,3,12,0,10,21,172,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641540073818395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253591089401953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635634129907874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510528379476135,0.1640361986407377,0.16024874280631635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347076826996775,0.06013039526147794,0.0,0.1430086084763674,0.0,0.06654180095563933,0.0,0.0,0.06916088063774359,0.0,0.3474469459726475,0.0,0.17459244707875926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770710677977109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843268947039269,0.0800249815697438,0.0,0.2298164787408343,0.18137260363490884,0.16003470766868935,0.1306508758798674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164986621965776,0.14147139479357232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767792281991597,0.0,0.15016708397050765,0.0,0.14294539313732285,0.06651624095488817,0.1891176837453191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342351946185016,0.07501584489929436,0.08888487022211564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050997920050736,0.08312214455485413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766949850721605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827743328231913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595252394370581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570332584732295,0.11461260868354912,0.07837619082857665,0.06905136923595216,0.0,0.0,0.08748495664792888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219860570201477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880644998117016,0.0,0.1579178980761886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748544547974632,0.0,0.060312081390823134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661866040591042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028932327711894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834289244505147,0.0,0.06468722657328535,0.0,0.0,0.07971428613664129,0.06625796961628931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069966136975616,0.0,0.0,0.06537807340324553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255792261295826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390421211546748,0.0,0.0,0.06208146848847858,0.09119722150081493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753904316913795,0.0,0.0,0.0461239429273431,0.2482836948166866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056929984366871474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KevinMalone328,2018/03/22,"I am struggling to understand how I can fix my situation mentally and in the real world. Please let me know if you all think like this at all. I honestly think there is something dysfunctional with my thoughts, and I want to change this so badly. I'll try to explain what I am experiencing and then give examples. (I'm going to use the word awkward alot because that's basically what I feel)

I feel this awkwardness between me and literally every person on this earth that I meet besides my parents, brother, and few close friends. It's tough to explain, but it feels like there is an awkward, weird, connection between us, especially (but not necessarily) if I said/did something embarrassing in the past. When I think of past events with people, I feel this awkwardness. I also feel like people generally don't like me and avoid me, though no one has ever told me(except when I was younger and people were bullies) that I'm mean or look weird or anything that makes me a person repellant. Today I have been trying to study, but my thoughts are constantly focused on the past, embarrassing situations where I feel the weird way about the people from the past and I don't think this is helping me move forward in life. Also, I definitely think the people also feel this connection with me, it's not just me, but they don't feel it with anyone else. 

Ex 1: I am a 22 year old female and have graduated from university. Yet I still think about this one girl who was in my middle school and part of highschool who I had the weird connection with. She was very social and liked by everyone and I wasn't, but there was this weird awkwardness between us always though she was pretty nice. I would always know in the back of my mind if she was in the room and I know she was the same with me. We were on the same varsity team in high school, and this awkwardness persisted and the whole team loved her, as did I, but yet we could never be friends because of this. I still think back to her and feel that awkwardness and like I'm not good enough. I feel like I have this same connection with EVERYONE but to a less degree unless the person is a good friend or close family member. I know if I met this girl today, though its been around 8 years since I last saw her, we would not be friends and would be distant still due to this weirdness.

Ex. 2- With the same school team I was talking about, I felt this same awkwardness with each team member, and everyone was bffls, except with me. I was always the lone one out that everyone treated like an outcast(I honestly have no idea why, I know I didn't try too hard to fit in and was nice and not crazy). I still think back to that and feel awkward, and if I see those team mates around town all the way back from when I was 16, I pretend to not know them.

Ex.3- This same awkwardness exists with my cousins. They all love hanging out with each other and I used to enjoy it as well..... that is until I started realizing that they all stay away from me and treat me awkwardly, act like I don't exist, and apparently call me stupid. They love my brother though. How I've reacted is that I always pretend I'm busy now and never go to our family gatherings because I don't like feeling left out for no reason. :( My mom has noticed all of this, and it makes her feel bad, and that makes me feel even worse because she just wants us all to be a happy family.

Ex. 4- I worked in a research lab at my university, and I have to get letters of recommendation from the lab director. I didn't have any problems there and worked hard, and did my best even if there were some bumps. But now, a whole year later, I am anxious to have to go meet with the director because I feel the awkward tension between us.

Ex.5- I even feel this awkwardness if I go to the same coffee shop 10 days in a row. I feel like the baristas and I have this weird connection where I hope the same barista isn't there because of the awkwardness when I think of them and when I'm there.

Now that I've written all of this, I think there is something wrong with my thoughts, but I can't pinpoint why I am always excluded or why people just don't like me...... Does anyone feel this way ever or have any advice on how to proceed????

Tldr- People don't like me for some unknown reason, I am always excluded, and there is a constant awkward tension present between me and everyone I meet in life. What is going on??? Thank you. :)

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mentalhealth,Kungfubunnyrabbit,2018/03/22,"Questions about acronyms BPD I always thought BPD was Bi polar disorder. Recently though I have seen it used for Borderline Personality disorder. 

This lead to me misunderstanding an entire post. What are the correct acronyms?",6.504999999999999,10.46908172222222,5.9013333333333335,65.57700000000003,79.0,9.546666666666667,37.75555555555556,9.3871,5.246062222222223,186,11,25,6,5,57,32,36,0.209,0.7909999999999999,0.0,-0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,2,1,5,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323340766083874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5849694279586355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323098675708045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20277369512911064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22241150586225986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601499999290879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292984489150474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281641395180841,0.1843641492759008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005715802147517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tessalee21,2018/03/22,"How to get over this fear So Throughout my high school years I was always wild. I did a lot of partying, I smoked and drank all the time. Well this last summer I was drinking and smoking every night. I had hit a bong for the first time and got extremely high, stayed awake for straight 8hrs after that, extremely paranoid, and even told my parents because I got so scared. 
Ever since then I decided I was done smoking. Well I was fine being around it, just didn’t do it. I still drank with my friends. I started my first semester of college and my best friend who I did most of my partying with moved away. My other friends had boyfriends and I didn’t see them much. So I did a lot of staying at home and not partying. Well now times has gone on, I have a extreme fear of weed. I can’t even smell the scent without being paranoid I will get high off of it. And I never had any bad experience with drinking. But now I’m scared to get drunk cause I’m scared I won’t be able to sleep. It’s the weirdest fears I know. But I don’t know how to overcome them. I’m tired of being a chicken about it all. I’m also on Zoloft for my anxiety over being scared I won’t be able to sleep at night. 
Does anybody have any recommendations on what I should do? ",1.438139534883721,3.4386280542635674,2.658831007751939,94.38113023255815,80.47286821705426,5.678387596899223,22.7231007751938,6.742157984588678,0.4461629147286823,970,32,218,10,25,311,128,258,0.146,0.726,0.129,-0.758,1,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,3,18,16,0,7,9,0,30,9,2,3,4,31,48,17,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,11,12,5,0,3,3,0,2,9,8,3,2,19,3,33,8,31,18,7,36,0,0,1,0,8,14,0,3,18,152,44,2,0.18894190872746106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554838807325957,0.07860740194098945,0.0,0.0,0.128486977028798,0.0,0.0722700215098808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409917838914559,0.0,0.0,0.08875857141837633,0.0,0.07887930083931502,0.057588616932433424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914143821002327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970476933536002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267216879222766,0.09667658592887983,0.0,0.18509113961700746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479434876090725,0.0854543867862028,0.07959585355029446,0.0,0.0,0.09241072092261808,0.0,0.3189182644437172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071389104255954,0.0,0.0,0.21896407498825066,0.0,0.14807152353059985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111410458119234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994412503017825,0.09476206991761914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383753177882024,0.0770064366767555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606316541734917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040767376159622,0.06944702142466765,0.0,0.07286182395490895,0.0,0.0,0.1773091820648085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489881493722887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783276236373301,0.09560964937963867,0.07528111943219955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814734968558346,0.0,0.1890783603143081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686702773798209,0.201386935182583,0.07544462618798183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526031961434506,0.10858046480231072,0.0,0.0902710453583528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548222004355329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106662880276813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083619725833748
mentalhealth,Ashleakelly,2018/03/22,"My brother never leaves my parents house So my brother started getting homeschooled by my mom when he was in elementary school because he was getting bullied. The problem is is that my mom never held him to any standards of behaviour so he never had to get dressed (did school in pj’s all day) only did max 4 hours of very basic school a day, let him eat whatever he wanted which was basically always Kraft Dinner or McDonalds, you get the idea. This continues for his entirety of the last maybe 9 or ten years. I don’t remember at which point he completely stopped going outside but it was probably around 11 years old. Now he only leaves the house to maybe go to the doctor or get a haircut. He’s going to be 18 this year and the only people he knows are people who are family or people who come to my parents house. I don’t live near my parents anymore but when I go home for Christmas he doesn’t talk to me or my boyfriend even if we talk to him. The only person he talks to is my mom. He’s 17 years old now and is apparently done being homeschooled so now he wakes up around 1 pm and sits in front of the computer until around 4 in the morning. 

My mom does everything for him, even puts the toothpaste on his toothbrush. The thing is, he is 100 % capable of doing the things she does for him on his own but she’s just always done it for him. The last time I was home I heard him talk for the first time in a few years and it was to swear at my mom for waking him up at NOON. He only seems to have two interests, watching videos of people playing games, and anime. 

My mom told me a few years ago she thought he might be autistic but she never got him diagnosed or tried to change anything in the daily routine that might help with the condition. He still is not diagnosed with anything. It’s getting hard for me to even visit home because I don’t like having to be quiet about the situation. I wonder about what will happen when my parents are gone. 

The homeschooling he had was so basic I would say he only has maybe middle school education. Also he was being taught by my mom who never graduated high school. He has no intention of trying to go to a tradeschool or university or get a job. I feel like it is possible he did have undiagnosed autism, but I think everything was made worse by the homeschooling, never leaving home, no rules, no independence, unlimited screen time etc... I think he could have been high functioning to the point of being able to work etc had it not been for all the other factors. 

Has anybody else experienced situations like this? How do you deal with it? I don’t want to fight with my parents about it but I can’t stand being around the situation.",4.154965603502191,5.443360919324583,5.1264915572232646,82.65001250781741,71.13883677298313,8.093308317698563,27.36272670419012,8.5409612609427,1.8864831769856163,2122,73,419,35,39,695,230,533,0.048,0.909,0.043,0.0934,7,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,1,2,0,2,24,7,1,0,28,0,58,7,2,4,8,64,89,30,0,6,18,14,2,3,0,4,3,3,4,1,22,15,2,2,9,3,0,10,17,2,0,3,27,8,50,5,65,49,7,71,0,0,2,0,71,23,0,13,39,281,72,11,0.05038309295334428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044661571961264385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040291341231879316,0.08384553888521494,0.0,0.0,0.034262230918149214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996648986878239,0.0,0.0,0.08292198516573293,0.179406538257941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061426131650793976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329863178491958,0.043400573355372764,0.05282571438312418,0.0,0.0,0.040226800013659116,0.0,0.0,0.06498585373124433,0.05194275652071035,0.0,0.10227555758373903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051569230552194485,0.08818116833828699,0.10311879345503384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051554482244216056,0.042088609145238084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112380933624254,0.09983267316425204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056215045175632,0.0,0.04749669605596934,0.0,0.0254752056397704,0.035993691672887136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285583312789969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184261606078534,0.0,0.14316936402109148,0.0,0.04029596201792279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04455360270592264,0.0,0.0451333550381982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0337707251766078,0.1064650078579248,0.20215340087402414,0.0,0.0496171976578289,0.17440597411383618,0.0,0.056876379293173886,0.0,0.0,0.04999744551741638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02768923025544605,0.08213789059762779,0.0,0.16004526207979464,0.0,0.051520126103779616,0.0,0.0738439028060332,0.0,0.04448919413885612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047673700764677716,0.0,0.0,0.15184976645880213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068969992986803,0.0,0.413056486744174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331512838286577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573716141210507,0.0,0.0,0.2299116752408316,0.0,0.0,0.279722311438146,0.0,0.0,0.1397171713233067,0.04399257340037112,0.0,0.0,0.09525661619147208,0.056799367106072425,0.0,0.0,0.05432149571671016,0.048209815571019485,0.0,0.050648924321761137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057074222719148124,0.0,0.0,0.040066657745776606,0.0,0.25495189946871044,0.0,0.04586687556808988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698981223452074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03566141251273336,0.0,0.04023600311503511,0.04212252171455826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619840865530278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694457641895847,0.06456690316874927,0.0,0.03999854795886027,0.08813636001358732,0.0,0.0,0.04814320443693513,0.0,0.0684136257644802,0.0,0.04921696086567983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041571328230858864,0.05943450720961771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463831510904809,0.0366794917297756,0.0,0.0513446760675087,0.035790703672499195,0.0,0.0,0.19467035992418666
mentalhealth,plscanuhelpme,2018/03/22,"Feeling jealous over stupid things I get jealous about people I don't even know, or people that I hear about. It sounds so dumb but my friend told me his sister my age is married and is having a baby soon, and I feel jealous over it even though I don't want to get married or have kids. I just can't stop thinking about her. Is there something wrong with me. I also get jealous of my younger brother who's achieved a lot more than I did at his age. I don't feel this way about my friends who are doing well, but just some people. Why do I feel this way. Is this normal?",2.663666666666668,3.735598700000004,3.2783333333333324,95.30666666666669,74.5,5.333333333333334,24.16666666666667,3.1291,0.0071666666666665435,444,13,101,0,9,139,71,120,0.17600000000000002,0.7090000000000001,0.116,-0.7665,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,14,10,6,0,2,0,14,0,0,0,0,20,26,9,0,2,6,2,4,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,9,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,6,19,3,11,24,3,9,0,0,0,0,12,3,1,4,4,74,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495139364667794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24697408916201066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37813566498889306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288893706680228,0.0,0.2930407507864403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21072045626007374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274976425831156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894893027605075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318366775712167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888490114351672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439329559631239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630911860705132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242096544750933,0.11979809511269032,0.1836898209581048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865079169406822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027539495064163,0.29680444437333203,0.0,0.0,0.16810184509076045,0.0,0.16870468076456685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441427071189885,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SeanyGee33,2018/03/22,"I Have a lot of Mental Disorders I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Autusm Spectrum Disorder, schizoid personality disorder, anxiety disorder, and PTS and Ive felt alone all my life. I didn’t want to be like this. I never asked for this. I know people just don’t get me or end up not wanting to be in relationships with me. All I try to do is be the best person I can be and spread love and care but at the end of the day, I hate myself. Ive been through so much pain in my life. I’m constantly fighting a battle in my head. People seem to be scared of me, confused or worried. Some try to take advantage of me. I’ve been taking prescription pills all my life including therapy but I feel that there’s no hope. No one is ever gonna love me or want me. If I can’t love myself, how can I love anyone else. Mind as well kill myself.. I need to know if anyone feels the same way or if anyone can understand.. I don’t know :/",1.5264997121473804,3.405421549222797,3.8766407599309134,86.36645221646519,79.62176165803109,7.604951065054692,22.63932066781808,8.515128840125781,1.407496488198042,721,23,157,16,18,250,108,193,0.218,0.616,0.166,-0.8949,0,1,0,0,2,1,26.0,0,0,0,2,6,17,4,2,6,0,21,10,1,1,5,40,46,16,1,8,11,0,3,1,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,8,0,0,0,8,7,1,1,4,3,28,10,19,36,8,12,0,0,0,4,10,5,0,12,7,107,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983558934795704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374149793565332,0.0,0.0,0.20220374281240952,0.09876751547805383,0.0,0.0,0.0901158076564002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011600385382837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140544772257016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098280576162581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041681663296303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621664520831936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5523820110146453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052520213080555,0.0,0.17075376005646933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719430761378348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747987045081268,0.0,0.09255379811795143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036212673267259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516957248700704,0.09892852559991094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574144872082918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066461877874205,0.0,0.15892762258824678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20425877312711604,0.047093464006409985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195112265889967,0.3479990539924287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714294330150472,0.0,0.09733092546849556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086101927234431,0.07147527056284705,0.07434534995986218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531938069695757,0.0,0.10257050158630558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336555625196583,0.2525037726783603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034915752504342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650767045101306,0.0,0.0,0.08775389591715271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495327472481195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023546568944814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089102146796286,0.0,0.0,0.1003500322284111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056784972689362,0.0765134354295506,0.0,0.0,0.08667019590691731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789325306766536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,llnovawingll,2018/03/22,"Keep f***ing forgetting things, anxiety causing anxiety Wasnt sure where to post this, I just need to blow off some steam and get some advice.

In the last couple of weeks I've lost:

my work uniform (multiple items on separate occasions)
my keys

my wallet

USB with assessment on it

a bicycle light

important receipts (that I told myself to keep)

Forgotten to pay rent and bills on time.

Forgotten about assessment (had to scramble to get it done at the last minute). 

I lost the first couple things just through carelessness I think, being in a rush and forgetting about them. But since then I've just been such a trainwreck. 

How do you keep track of everything besides just 'remembering', because at this point I don't think I'm capable of something that simple.",7.89339928057554,8.25769253956835,7.230854316546765,74.16772032374102,62.453237410071935,11.842086330935249,36.79946043165468,11.45678717892309,4.398805035971222,609,27,107,17,8,189,91,139,0.145,0.8420000000000001,0.013,-0.9177,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,4,9,4,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,2,1,23,19,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,3,3,0,3,1,2,3,0,1,7,1,11,1,21,11,3,18,0,2,0,0,3,10,0,2,6,69,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155544203832713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435372482315031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970317498471028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351681992594375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522487544613133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289153658489536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305644344017426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539437916083694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632498800422746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4244468050917438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25949813342461064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475171586019209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802642471859702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047205326420598,0.0,0.15244588131891226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031451933472453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316714046944761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254087755576072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002078141380246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21149791524013947,0.20398613516113248,0.0,0.0,0.09281636341018128,0.0,0.0,0.15209876462087898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276807774812189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158814716276036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yusername8291,2018/03/22,"Can’t tell what’s going on... depression, ocd, etc I have science classes and I’m not the brightest person in my classes and I have to work really hard to get As. I get very anxious before tests, and experience pain in my chest. I have to smoke before a test every time, and I check my grade website every hour religiously. I am definitely not sure how to de stress myself before exams. ",2.776597744360899,4.916089328947368,4.791654135338348,80.04657894736842,76.76315789473685,6.974436090225563,24.01503759398497,7.957251820313856,1.5104458646616532,303,10,56,5,7,104,53,76,0.238,0.728,0.034,-0.9357,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,5,2,1,1,1,8,9,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,0,1,10,1,8,9,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,34,11,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23263513655185955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5256776359688546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736175773957608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296593287658766,0.0,0.0,0.3469991516937142,0.0,0.0,0.2014328657666264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517323982481046,0.0,0.11703116883102715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446716340124011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279333765708346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191173066810041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980460834385342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191997784694662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23588487158173116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408062471669688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998636658181094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007574967158922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699085962272964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991488642190404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuitableTheory9,2018/03/22,"How to achieve more? **Background:**

First of some background. I am self-taught and self-motivated of what I have accomplished thus far. 

I come from a small city in Europe, taught my self English, went to college, worked for a bit, and now doing masters at one of the top 10 programs in the US. 

I have by all means surpassed what my parents have achieved in all their lives by now. However I have a huge problem.

**Problem #1**

I am able to do more 24 hours before a deadline than 2 or 3 weeks before the deadline. Sometimes I choose to not start working on something knowing I will just waste time
procrastinating and leave it for the last moment that I will perform the best. My problem is how do I harvest this ability into something I am capable of doing every day?

**Problem #2**

I can't multi-task. I get overly obsessed with a subject and for few days, a week, a month or few months that's all it matters to me to breath. Let it be working out, let it be research, a subject at school, a job opportunity, working, socializing, or partying. I do that until I burn out and then either move to the next thing or wait until I recover and go at it again. I hardly can have a balance. 

**Problem #3**

My mood affects my work. Problems with my family or a significant other, or friends can get to me super hard and distract me from my goals. I can spend all day watching videos 
unable to do anything during this time. 


**Personal Conclusions**

I believe I have potential, there is a lot of raw power coming from within me, that is just not utilized correctly. It feels like I am driving a car on the wrong gear all the time and not able
to get 100% from the engine. I know the reasons for that, I had terrible parenting, nobody to look up to and never developed any discipline or work-ethic. I am 24 almost 25. 


How can I fix these now?

Side-Question: Is there a specific type of psychologist for this type of issues? ",1.5751274197500609,4.146201822102427,3.2833147512864507,86.54085548885078,84.68733153638814,5.744694927713796,25.68249203626562,7.1686216300943375,1.434099191374663,1480,64,282,22,44,490,196,371,0.066,0.836,0.098,0.9115,5,0,2,0,0,0,71.0,1,0,1,18,11,16,0,2,24,0,33,1,1,6,7,60,48,22,0,6,13,2,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,19,16,0,2,7,1,1,7,5,10,0,2,3,5,38,5,49,39,14,49,0,0,2,0,8,18,0,10,25,210,57,18,0.1735649707331834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690012339060255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05901506594750861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141459110973745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476910064297995,0.09777414312490124,0.09107286433836816,0.0,0.0947439975536671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495108537938349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790257117669186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311798681925623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181080376021288,0.0,0.04387983212327861,0.0619974248858536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738171377199697,0.0,0.0,0.06704793292096606,0.0,0.13602080036715095,0.0,0.04932048633699414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548012214234805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546326708563078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057836792518338,0.08611822596917701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953867687988351,0.07073930827779995,0.0,0.09189012160153084,0.0,0.17748194196122447,0.0,0.04239753879746167,0.0,0.07663052450753648,0.0,0.07287543098049162,0.0,0.0,0.0737793656876316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453156772157824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853790373281702,0.09223604797470523,0.0,0.0,0.0669320026852365,0.0,0.0922941577132014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880605803277673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927233599697361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577511886560359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982347095910527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922684855938381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782850828676449,0.0,0.0,0.27159917638244485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846381505515752,0.0,0.13361879408766464,0.0858300970499642,0.0,0.061425089809474476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765442713918696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181069531056055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438864465041592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922335024451513,0.0,0.0,0.08044823337134674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790720975277464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948830244055822,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Theriius,2018/03/22,"Afraid of attending a public school. Alright, so as the title says, I'm afraid to go back to public school. I left because I continuously had anxiety attacks. It's been two years since I've been attending an online school. I'm pretty much home all the time except for around 6ish hours a week. I still keep in touch with friends, but they're always telling me how much fun they're having or things that're happening. It makes me miss all social interaction with people. I feel like I'm missing out on my high school years, and that I'm going to regret not being there with everyone. At the same time, I don't want to go through an anxiety attack almost every day. 

Any advice would be tremendously appreciated.",4.947591240875916,6.4173169343065695,5.515043795620439,79.92366058394163,69.43795620437956,8.39970802919708,26.10875912408759,8.841846274778883,1.9073918248175183,568,17,106,10,10,183,97,137,0.134,0.7390000000000001,0.127,0.2515,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,2,2,7,1,8,0,0,2,2,21,22,6,0,3,4,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,2,7,0,1,3,3,8,4,17,16,5,22,0,3,0,0,7,7,0,2,11,59,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181613779705215,0.0,0.0,0.13507612005153272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224200292458797,0.0,0.0,0.09173204618990036,0.0,0.2063859576929295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008360527926015,0.0,0.3069211265359693,0.0,0.10372459466299144,0.0,0.08222968258136287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869949967707274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365339403640355,0.12889629585677048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820608809821377,0.09636777578699103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421820226573936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299888541070669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928566914132915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425221410970343,0.13530894376611088,0.0,0.1328426942844048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989933229884207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656192759856435,0.0,0.0,0.0659020357744942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004230214803546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832414224052533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351800561360032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723494596206776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727253890124233,0.0,0.5460767449530674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158510312480187,0.0,0.0,0.13750669661188605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772593603326147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179026596604426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896170916438231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573146957279884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177111958186935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956354292356642,0.0,0.10820324090378898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582430549540187,0.0,0.0,0.17373368059453706
mentalhealth,thatmanadrian,2018/03/22,"My mom cares zero percent about my efforts to get better So I just needed to get this off my chest.

I had an argument today with my mom because About two months ago, I quit my job at Domino’s and since then I had been telling her that I’d been going to work when I usually work, until recently she decided to call up the place and found out I had quit- she’s paranoid like that. Either way, I wanted to not say I had quit because I knew she would be irrationally mad about it, and she WAS as I predicted, and didn’t listen to any of my reasons for quitting. I would have to come in on days that I asked off, I would pull the weight of other people who were lazy, and dealt with some really crappy assholes there. 

I explained that all to her and apparently didn’t care at all. I also told her I hadn’t gotten a job yet because I’ve been trying to work on getting my counseling settled (first appointment is tomorrow finally) and get better, mentally, before I go back to work. I told her I was honestly being driven insane working there and doesn’t it make logical sense to remove myself from a shitty situation? I also told her I have been working on the very important nursing application I’m working on for the nursing program at school, so obviously I wanna work on that before I start working again and stressing myself out. I’m also working to keep my grades up in my classes.

And then she says after all that “I suppose you’ve been hanging with your boyfriend all that time” which was right and then she fucking dares, to make me feel bad, to say “HES GOING TO SCHOOL, he’s bettering himself” 

Like, what in the fucking hell? I’m 
-going to school
-concentrating on getting my nursing application done
-have been looking into getting therapy and am about to have my first session 
- took a short break from working ( previously had been working for 2 years part-time with no break) just so I could feel better and not be driven to the brink of insanity by a job I hated

And then she’s going to say something like that? I feel like my mom is just spewing shit to make me feel bad. just living life with whatever mental illness I have is hard enough, but I’m making small strides towards my future - and she’s just gonna disregard all that and say I’m not doing shit? What kind of a parent is that.


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mentalhealth,Scarl3tt3,2018/03/22,"Journaling for extreme depression? So I figured I'd post this here and hope it gets some kind of response. I've been going through a really rough time lately, far worse than my usual which isn't good to begin with. But I've been reading that journaling can help. I'm just worried that journaling would just turn into a stream of consciousness full of really horrible shit. It's bad enough to have intrusive thoughts in my head, but having them on paper (as possible evidence for anyone wanting to have me committed against my will or the like?) just  seems like a horrible idea. 

The only option I can think of would be journaling only ""good"" things, which would feel fake and forced or just make me realize I'm not going anywhere/doing anything worthwhile. In short, it really just seems like it would make things worse. 

Has anyone done journaling and have an opinion on it? Any ideas to get around it feeling forced and gross and making me even more miserable? I just really don't know where to go from here.

Before you ask, I do have a shrink, but he's on maternity leave, so I'm on my own for a while. ",5.143176100628931,6.457214764150947,5.5069056603773605,80.75381761006291,68.81132075471697,9.42691823899371,28.28427672955975,9.725611199111238,2.6038952201257866,878,30,165,20,15,280,126,212,0.202,0.723,0.076,-0.9843,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,0,13,13,1,1,8,0,20,2,2,3,1,45,43,14,0,6,12,0,3,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,0,12,1,0,3,3,6,0,0,4,3,13,7,26,33,5,21,0,2,0,0,5,12,1,8,8,109,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103483952364203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664290216027566,0.0,0.09806089067783877,0.10608022046167537,0.11140119991976301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949602104528198,0.0,0.0,0.10139882768045294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263480741571657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194499096487385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312710146725035,0.0,0.07870595339036544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205046574919348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451536516040845,0.0,0.20316901953991756,0.1998963275056921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229548560607452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987236154648092,0.0,0.0,0.11835561980672467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690407568449785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408979436240368,0.06548879831099014,0.0,0.13442091047412266,0.12617627614635168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746508809651547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386264279922501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812574683403881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433823411793294,0.11412509213072773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919511959890232,0.0,0.30535514968198285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169628072375269,0.0,0.0,0.12231897613627175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833303499845575,0.07635475706934446,0.0,0.09460201009000818,0.06948482919828107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961498672719307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312410687814475,0.0,0.07028534956471368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101568125947346,0.2428742947570272,0.3385995425070665,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueberrybees,2018/03/22,"I’m frustrated by days off I work part time in retail, 30 hours a week since anymore makes me exhausted. I go to work and always look forward to having my one or two days off a week, but I feel like every time I have a day off, I waste it and end up feeling more depressed at night than relaxed at having a day to “recharge.” I’m in between semesters at school so I don’t have homework to do, and most of my hobbies require more motivation than I usually have nowadays. 

I’m just really frustrated by this lack of ... productivity, I guess. I know I can spend my time better, but I don’t, because I tell myself I need to relax because it’s my “day off.” Does any of that make sense? 

Idk I’m just ranting a lil. Was stuck inside all day because of a blizzard and I feel so stressed by my “unproductive” day. 
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mentalhealth,MyNameIsNotMia,2018/03/22,"I’m really clingy to someone So, in school there’s is this guy and we’ll just call him boy. So, boy and I used to be really good friends and we kind of separated. I’ve only known him for about 9 months but I have sort of an obsession. I literally cannot take my mind off of him. He just gives me this awesome wanted feeling when I’m around him that I can’t get from anywhere else, not even my parents. I’m waaay to nervous to go up and make conversation, but we’re getting to know each other again and he comes to me sometimes. Everyone in school loves him but no one ever sits with him at lunch or anything like that. We have a lot in common and I just want to be friends again so bad. It physically and mentally hurts when I see him alone. I just can’t push myself to go to him. It’s tearing me apart. Is it normal for someone with anxiety/depression to be so clingy? Can someone connect with me here? I’ve never had this feeling so strongly and I want to act on it.",1.6799566395663987,3.342396087804879,3.4721544715447163,90.45381436314364,78.36585365853658,6.701897018970191,24.071815718157183,7.594959193182576,0.9848319783197824,758,26,171,11,18,254,115,205,0.095,0.7490000000000001,0.156,0.9101,1,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,0,0,1,20,11,0,2,2,0,13,2,0,2,2,40,33,19,0,4,9,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,10,16,1,0,4,0,0,5,6,4,0,1,1,3,26,7,29,28,2,23,0,1,1,1,23,9,0,3,9,114,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182242768774853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063060054386805,0.13049566051932426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239604074012499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968418515688087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627380343929173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625725067027302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245664854980633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682092787683744,0.13259852071728004,0.0,0.14007247056920755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824002822228494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22650924097717906,0.0,0.15317384099218276,0.14062192683570385,0.16662028847312166,0.1229522486836585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514657028398525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15692700348831712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265032075304985,0.08056171032654448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161618497347087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462508084613427,0.1323026727123026,0.0,0.09784957460398504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772765484826136,0.0,0.14801352393703973,0.0,0.11700627466800413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305879588552264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436265054711251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933278320127724,0.11148785773727213,0.0,0.0,0.1627702006740986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781786923757188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29671263350718474,0.11681278691548967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726142137639951,0.0,0.1449806823925638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021699883649984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660619099650106,0.0,0.0,0.25938670969087624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ArchaeoAg,2018/03/22,"Really feeling it tonight So today was a bad day. I finally got up enough motivation to try to tackle the mountain of to dos I’ve let pile up while I’ve been sick with a nasty virus. But I’ve just kept hitting road blocks. I spent two hours basically accomplishing nothing. It was so, so frustrating and demoralizing because I still don’t feel good and I could have been using this time to recuperate but the entire time I would have been resting I would have been anxious over the stuff I wasn’t getting done. I tried to do something and I still didn’t accomplish anything meaningful. I feel really stuck. And I wonder why I try. ",2.638574108818013,5.212936772357725,4.025203252032522,83.05592870544092,79.65040650406505,7.361851156973107,25.72170106316448,8.384062270229773,1.967619637273296,505,20,97,11,13,166,76,123,0.13699999999999998,0.765,0.098,-0.5528,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,6,3,1,0,5,0,18,1,0,2,0,20,29,10,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,6,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,13,3,12,1,10,11,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,10,65,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830060618321801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444744948138394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465614515041833,0.10700235927457702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014760141492572,0.0,0.0,0.11320328143479695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962964439896992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18137093846527014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26626196700360266,0.0,0.0,0.19228615335768992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170795204050138,0.0,0.0,0.1472274750377019,0.14038855741946274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286314691483864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949282805461786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842718647993868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22489991806456627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513270683776055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803593288643849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20094154585174745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470763187978236,0.0,0.16638331602515327,0.0,0.0,0.35752305248247296,0.0,0.17146874749955704,0.0,0.0,0.1516028378831374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838985599487718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903563993478448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493850503122269,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wolfir,2018/03/22,"Am I normal? I saw this [askreddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8684w1/what_is_your_greatest_nonsexual_fantasy/dw34vjd/), and I just typed for 45 minutes. I'm afraid I've revealed too much about myself. ",13.4,18.479524333333334,7.583333333333332,58.50500000000002,55.66666666666666,6.666666666666668,36.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,3.256666666666668,190,8,21,2,3,49,25,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727831338097619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6301422920654752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.615951946287606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kabuki_punk,2018/03/22,"Obsessed with Women To begin, I want to clarify I'm not obsessed with women in a violent kind of way. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I was diagnosed with severe OCD when I was young, though I'm not sure if this is the cause of my actions. 

I overly care for all women, no matter what. If I see a woman cry, I will drop everything to help her. This may seem normal and sympathetic, until you take into account that I have no sympathy for men in the slightest. Being male myself, I'm not sure what has caused this. But if I see a man hurt, I do not care and rarely do anything to help immediately. But I naturally protect women, to the extent where if I grow overly attached to one, like a friend or lover, I obsess over their safety. I also get extremely protective, threatening to (or proceeding to) severely hurt anyone who even touches them in a slightly threatening manner. 

I wanted to know if anyone has experienced similar feelings, if anyone knows what these thoughts may spawn from, and if it is connected to mental disorders at all. Thank you~",5.6688842345773045,6.425739757425744,6.884851485148518,73.37732292460021,67.26732673267327,9.977760853008377,30.884996191926884,10.035473477838034,3.153872353389186,829,31,147,19,13,281,123,202,0.179,0.6509999999999999,0.17,-0.452,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,2,1,5,15,1,3,9,0,13,2,0,2,5,40,31,18,0,10,15,0,2,1,2,3,1,0,0,8,11,7,0,2,5,0,1,2,6,6,0,1,3,5,21,9,28,24,3,19,0,2,2,1,18,10,0,12,6,110,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360535377771308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979950257782905,0.0,0.11690329947678404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896793345140412,0.2918695638100351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560462711095882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441879389822883,0.0,0.0,0.1628131006105897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093829309281188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767439388195287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182981903258714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109755225924556,0.0,0.07422050178307214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904396857349047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30415639816230045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793365930174052,0.15614495337343642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940335438596974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316309624479573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918866611120756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626355211767752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510983272381204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264069009012889,0.12932611489905846,0.0,0.3209747937301196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677797920331248,0.0,0.1068114621358458,0.0,0.0,0.13078978823424198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957325710534665,0.11277979467870887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758137137441034,0.1127606385820826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gracefreebird,2018/03/22,i really can't catch a break i can do everything right and still life finds a way to fuck me over constantly. what's the point in trying then?,-0.6890000000000001,1.4154214333333357,1.3033333333333346,96.40500000000002,101.33333333333334,6.4,12.666666666666668,7.554174236665415,0.093866666666667,113,2,26,3,5,37,28,30,0.132,0.868,0.0,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,4,0,10,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838315177595423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192196331317565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246349511722897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283651313969396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25087944384400684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33576700555728184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275422152612448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30332819450708365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836532058701932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24114900550406615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28193131438051844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bullseye199o,2018/03/23,"Help me please Over the last year I have begun to realise that I have imagined things and believed them to be true even acting upon these beliefs,

I have been to a doctor and have been given beta blockers as well as an antidepressant. But I have now realised I have still been imagining bizarre scenarios involving people I know in the real world 

It is like if I'm bored or have nothing to do I start thinking about bizarre scenarios and events nothing really out of the usual i.e. Space ships, monsters etc. More like arguments with people I know, a sort of ""imagine if this happened"" in my brain. But as time goes on I seem to remember these scenarios as actual events 

Can anyone tell me what I have? How to handle it? 

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I have a young family and this is starting to effect my work 

Thanks reddit ",7.123138888888893,7.083289425000004,7.199583333333332,75.10930555555555,64.125,10.111111111111112,33.40277777777778,9.725611199111238,3.1227569444444434,668,25,120,12,9,215,102,160,0.058,0.795,0.147,0.9297,0,0,0,1,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,6,7,0,0,7,0,19,2,1,2,1,27,29,15,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,10,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,4,0,16,6,22,22,2,21,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,5,14,89,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.1668637811469348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628060129219092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956176490371913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926497237757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088391420219905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501782505377847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070157116774156,0.11293877595496125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611962860788193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885195717936038,0.0,0.0,0.1512078920008027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292250168408712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879457500075197,0.13938151503300136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670763634853131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32814337290339185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370890081724392,0.0,0.0,0.1876981549494437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946266283859044,0.10954202112761867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937008991598224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566493271243456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420584053511187,0.0,0.13655464079346888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945477320851747,0.15742670071584333,0.0,0.0,0.11359966048101132,0.10956493670789837,0.0,0.0,0.09970696267627004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832381827182051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374257829830096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448440277048504,0.0,0.0,0.1214679964550786,0.0,0.0,0.11011341010761416
mentalhealth,mhstanfield,2018/03/23,"What men want: A study examining men's preferences for mental health professionals and mental health services Men ages 18 and older are needed for a study examining their preferences for mental health professionals and mental health services.

Participants will complete an online survey, and all responses will be anonymous. Potential participants can learn more about the study and participate online here: https://kstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9zVk6RdEd8z6zs1

Questions can be directed to Hunter Stanfield, graduate student, at mhstanfield@k-state.edu or 785-532-0671. 
This study received Institutional Review Board approval No. 9124 from Kansas State University.

Please share this important opportunity widely within your personal and professional networks. Thank you!",14.693357142857144,18.847991895238096,10.993511904761906,39.621696428571454,49.0952380952381,13.25,42.64880952380953,12.38480682065935,7.11902380952381,659,31,61,21,8,191,76,105,0.02,0.833,0.147,0.902,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,1,2,2,3,0,0,4,0,7,4,0,0,1,16,10,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,8,6,2,7,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,2,2,36,6,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496839549111542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6689818678694041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6342483870079754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666589853249322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738355140357186,0.0,0.17271248942532866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625723526486206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485788307281414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280343300296222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CristyTango,2018/03/23,"I didn't brush my hair for two months or more. (video) I hope this helps at least one person feel less alone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJwBsiMnxTg


This isn't the first time I have had this issue. I decided that it's kind of wrong of me to act like my life was going well went it isn't, so I took a step and decided to share this. I'm a little embarrassed, but if this helps at least one person, I'll know I did the right thing.  I mean, it's not the first time, but I hope it will be the last.",1.432500000000001,3.4037064807692365,2.1948461538461568,97.85015384615384,80.34615384615384,5.6984615384615385,14.246153846153849,6.742157984588678,-0.8800623076923073,390,4,95,4,10,121,66,104,0.052000000000000005,0.775,0.174,0.9022,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,1,6,0,9,2,1,0,0,13,18,6,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,1,0,0,5,1,0,5,4,2,1,5,6,3,11,6,7,10,4,15,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,7,61,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080583015709368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315178948935544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31341042756403337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470166676729377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469698205413661,0.0,0.0,0.3659622129329265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228735965878696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184630109417428,0.10124751824774078,0.15017133918843004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012649105705698,0.09000505284141089,0.1846459986748493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20067954389068104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704994322402756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24967686855219176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217235608955283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733068036623113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239365558442444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485098806625968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468535505285973,0.0,0.0,0.17996510185999712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564412338229673,0.17078226003108746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014256456294248,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chocolatecaks,2018/03/23,"malnutrition and mental health I'm trying to find information, stories, really anything on the link between malnutrition and mental health. 

I'm currently suffering from malnutrition and it's making me a miserable person. I know they correlate, but I'd like to read up more on it. I've attempted Googling it and found a bit, but not a whole lot. Thanks. ",4.115647321428568,7.146798734375004,5.675714285714289,70.65500000000002,77.28125,9.907142857142855,29.455357142857146,9.957137785484203,3.9613419642857153,285,13,46,10,7,96,45,64,0.118,0.8290000000000001,0.053,-0.4605,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,14,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,7,5,4,4,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891584825750184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25095194878038424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21009152750545312,0.0,0.0,0.25203400651525043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886693564802614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263272404374345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229993729880508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542214891876425,0.0,0.0,0.15343600188718226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4632976856531722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007083745607952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22992619991337326,0.0,0.14725676149035086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162788381016007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606256424275836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25663494200529063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,steech11,2018/03/23,"Therapy session Hello all! I just wanted to drop in and share some things that my therapists and I had discussed that has really helped me, and share a little bit about my situation. 

For starters, I am 22(F) who has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and major depression for about 10 years. Recently, about a month ago, I was diagnosed with purely obsessional OCD. This really took a toll on me, physically and mentally. I have getting professional help for 10 years, being on a total of 5 medications, and 5 or so therapists. I’m a very very open book, and the cards that I was dealt do not fit my overall personality at all, which makes it even more frustrating to juggle 3 different diagnoses. I’m currently still trying to find the correct balance of medication, but one thing I have found to help me is sharing my experience and helping others.

Now that there’s a little bit of a background, I wanted to share with you a few things that have helped me throughout the years. 

First, if you’ve decided to seek cognitive behavioral therapy, please don’t be discouraged if you don’t click or connect with your therapist. I have been through 5, with only 2 that I have made a breakthrough with. The other 3 just weren’t right for me, and that’s ok. The 2 I have made progress with however, have been incredible and I am very happy that I did not give up completely even though I may had felt discouraged. 
Here is something that my most recent therapist has told me that really stuck-

Look at your life as a Pie or a pie chart. Now categorize your life into this chart, and see where your mental health fits in. 
How much does your mental health take up this pie? For me, it was almost half. My whole life has been revolving around my mental disorders, even times to where I forgot who I was outside of my disorders. What were my hobbies? What was my coping mechanism? What made me who I am, despite my obstacles? That’s what this pie chart helped me see. It made me realize that I needed to build my identity outside of my mental disorders. Yes, I have some things I need to work on and I understand that this will always  be a part of me...but I can try and change how big of a part of me my disorders are. I was literally forgetting who I was and letting it take over my life. 

I am still learning so much about myself and how to cope with my disorders, and it is always nice to know you’re not alone and you have so many people here to support and help you. I’ve been through quite a roller coaster in my 22 years of life, and my biggest advice to all of you is to never be afraid to ask for help. Your mind and body will thank you. There are so many different forms of help as well, and everyone is different and reacts to things differently. Even if it’s just talking with a close friend or family member, every step counts towards recovery.

I wish you all the best and thanks for reading! You can dm me for anything and everything, I will always be here to answer any questions or just to support you. 

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mentalhealth,memelord152,2018/03/23,"i am insane and i hate my self for it im 15 and i have been been diagnosed with GAD for about 4 years. every time something happens go insane. like today my PC monitor  broke so i kicked my fucking TV. i dont know why im like this, please help me.  ",-1.72159090909091,0.20780418181818305,1.2512500000000024,98.336875,98.0909090909091,4.204545454545455,15.965909090909092,5.985473137389443,-0.5776818181818184,190,5,46,2,8,66,41,55,0.198,0.631,0.171,-0.3767,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,4,10,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,9,2,4,8,0,4,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,23,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407458585330713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779883791414529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984529636284767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928106671619213,0.0,0.0,0.13480222360526742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097489485774082,0.0,0.0,0.23417893887714936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898543929756054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5124181922592352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303550460628748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317609954710252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603666391325412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474439840647642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18260272653638748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830912071099769,0.0,0.22483118903874907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402975073306585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274448766353027
mentalhealth,paranoiathrowaway12,2018/03/23,"This is so dumb I just have to tell someone how dumb one of my obsessions is. I think it relates to my fear of contamination. I was at the store earlier and sniffed a lavender plant. I’m convinced that somehow I sniffed a whole flower up my nose and it is rattling around in my sinuses. I KNOW I didn’t, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I have a headache from this stupid little flower in my head, my sinuses feel weird, and I keep wanting to gag. This happens a lot when I sniff things (spices, flowers, my cat). Stupid OCD!!!",1.9676635514018697,3.964299831775701,3.1400093457943927,91.6081448598131,78.7196261682243,6.149158878504673,27.522429906542047,7.1686216300943375,1.2802082242990656,410,18,89,5,10,132,69,107,0.253,0.73,0.017,-0.9773,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,4,2,5,0,8,4,2,1,0,16,16,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,4,0,1,0,2,7,0,1,2,4,17,1,12,14,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,2,2,62,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442185066630709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30870591834491856,0.1387132651617057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425957141797438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815493853271249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438437438301979,0.0,0.0,0.15076869615337202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27495821084745925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23323190224015425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858981661118927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324452437338626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293584046579609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239783036218106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225762161158265,0.35156874046719633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181134462468102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30628798238252475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xZatanna_,2018/03/23,A small rant about mental health. I just need someone to listen if possible. Nothing in my life in the moment is working out.  I’m in debt.  I’ve been trying for months to find a job to help me and my family by no one is hiring me.  I can’t ask my parents for help because they are also financially skewed.  I’ve been hearing voices telling me to hurt people and telling me to go get cancer but my psychiatrist isn’t doing anything at the moment.  He said if I manage to find a job I can just cancel our next appointment.  I’m very reluctant to go back to him. No doctor is listening to me.  For months I tried my best to not become depressed but now I am.  I am very suicidal at the moment and I don’t know what to do.  I want to get better but I feel like I’ve been cursed. ,0.8692682926829249,2.752576597560978,3.301402439024393,89.64954268292685,81.8048780487805,6.051219512195122,20.615853658536587,7.1686216300943375,0.5151414634146341,598,17,131,8,16,207,93,164,0.14300000000000002,0.732,0.125,-0.3129,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,3,6,5,0,0,6,0,15,4,0,0,0,18,30,9,1,4,8,1,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,6,2,0,1,4,6,23,3,23,26,1,17,0,2,0,0,14,7,0,2,9,86,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705063809082822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044859985608518,0.0,0.1368345571804571,0.0,0.0,0.11254815086866828,0.0,0.0892247277621998,0.16165223455430536,0.0,0.0,0.1536044500707632,0.1294508242358659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606676080819856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498141078811104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798296136536986,0.0,0.07400818598887597,0.10456550833861282,0.0,0.0,0.2675558609392231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294274088752247,0.0,0.16636890112228392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558260718569294,0.16496765751005704,0.0,0.1962151077554271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566902408224777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904958098587497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044016333413716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033842248766564,0.07150813448824747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475047716439524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336594843198602,0.0,0.0,0.10853020409151183,0.0,0.0,0.15566429631123432,0.0,0.0,0.1404442851849931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918291546638652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252462211990354,0.0,0.0,0.10147331632322913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500821168148724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922972546343262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401734477543296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010311095124122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558646070470562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874887022881124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24153827333279515,0.08633178718800366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655783055493076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xoyoxoyo,2018/03/23,"What's the difference between experiencing the aftermath of trauma, and experiencing PTSD? **TW: Rape, sexual violence, suicide, suicide ideation, self harm**

TL;DR: I went through a series of extremely traumatic experiences all one after the other and now have some weird feelings and habits. You can either read all of the post and answer the question at the end, or if you don't have time answer this question:

*what is the difference between PTSD, and recovering 'normally' from trauma?*

When I was 15 I began to feel depressed. I self harmed. One particularly bad episode I got a toothbrush holder (one of those you travel with so barely even sharp) and rubbed it against my skin so hard that at least to or three layers came off. Five years later I still have a scar.

I hid it from my family initially but by the time I was about to turn 17 it became so severe that I was completely suicidal. Fortunately I was also selfless and knew I could never do that to my parents. My plan was to wait until they died and then kill myself, but in the mean time I'd walk by roads and daydream about jumping in front of cars. They were nice but would always end in my Mum finding out and that's when I'd cry. I used to cry a lot, randomly too. I probably spent 5 times as much time crying as I did happy over that year. It got to the stage where hiding it wasn't possible anymore and I genuinely believed I was going to kill myself at some point so I sought help.

At the time it felt long but looking back I recovered quite quickly, especially after I began taking antidepressants (April). In the summer I was still ill but considerably better, and I noticed that my twin sister was ill. It became my mission to get her into some sort of counselling. My parents were in denial. And then the second worst thing happened to me.

It was August at this point and I was on a camping trip with my friends from sixth form. On the first night my best friend sexually assaulted me. I was in shock so I was slow to react. When I got home I talked it through with some friends and they confirmed it was assault. I didn't leave my bed for two days crying. I could feel his hands on my breasts (not figuratively, but actually). I felt so sick. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he was my best friend and in love with me. I felt guilty about the heart ache I imagined him feeling when he found out what he did. I decided to try and be nice about it even though I had such mixed emotions - anger, sadness, guilt, heartbreak. I private messaged him and he was very dismissive and sure of himself. Totally different to how I imagined. And it made me doubt myself. I decided to talk to my school about it so they could put us in separate classes, and if they could gently ask him to avoid me at lunch and stuff.

They passed what I said onto him and he got so angry. He didn't avoid me like I'd requested, we weren't put in separate classes. My sister got so angry at his behaviour that she messaged him asking why he was sitting with me when we said not to. She tried to get him to see how lucky he was we didn't go to the police. He replied something I never even expected. He'd told everyone his version of events. They all backed him. All my best friends. This was particularly surprising because I'd tried to talk to them and they clearly didn't want to engage with me. I felt so betrayed. He borderline threatened us with legal action. It felt like I was being assaulted all over again. I had no idea how anyone could be so cruel.

School was a different story after that. I hated everyone apart from one or two people. I had daily anxiety attacks, that became weekly after a little, and then biweekly. I was completely disengaged but pretended to like people to get shit from them. I used to stir shit and spread rumours about my friends (the ones who backed him) for fun. But every day I'd see him. And I'd feel his hands on me. And I'd listen to him laugh and joke along with people like nothing was going on. And it was horrible.

My twin sister was getting more ill every day. Finally I got my parents to arrange counselling, but we're quite poor so we had to rely on the NHS. We were approaching 18 now so she had to go through the adult services which are shit. She tried, went to appointments, but they did nothing to help her. In April, three weeks after we turned 18 she tried to kill herself at school. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me. It's not particularly a sad day for her but obviously at the time she was going through a lot of upset in general. I was the one who phoned for an ambulance. It isn't like TV where they come straight away. I was sat for two hours with her waiting not knowing whether she'd die before they got there, and trying to stay strong in case she did die, because I didn't want her last image to be me crying.

After my sister's suicide attempt things were looking okay(ish). As in I still hated school but was beginning to make new friends and one of my old ones apologised to me. But there were weekly meltdowns from me or my sister - me because of a series of things like my assailant being accepted to the same world leading university as me (so I couldn't not go), and her because she was mentally ill and experiencing the same trauma as me. One particularly bad time I got sat next to my assailant during an A Level exam after specifically asking not to be. I had to leave the exam hall and the exams officer basically blamed me. I felt more alone than I can convey after this.

Once I left school (with 5A*s which was a fucking miracle after all of this) I did an internship in London. But you have to understand, I was a changed person. I didn't care if I lived or died because everything bad that could happen to someone already happened to me. I went on a night out in London (where I was doing an internship), and got with two different guys (at separate times) - not sex but not just kissing either. The second one raped me. This was my virginity.

Because of my previous experience I knew that I wanted to report it to the police. It made me feel better in the short term but there were downfalls too. Reporting was an exhausting process. I didn't exactly feel trauma, more an overwhelming sense of failure. ""How did my life end up here?"" My suicidal thoughts came back. Every time I got onto the train to go to work I'd imagine jumping in front of it. But I was more resilient. There were less emotions and they were easier to deal with.

University started. Things calmed down a lot (how could they not?) but they were still crazy when I think back. I was obsessed with sex and was getting with people left right and centre. I was caring for my sister, who was at her mental low point during the first term. I was drinking almost daily. I was living the most hedonistic lifestyle and was proud. But it led to so many messed up situations. Guys used my body for sexual pleasure. I felt more and more degraded every time I brought a guy back home. A couple of experiences I had were arguably assault (one many would say I was too drunk to consent, another the guy tried to intimidate me into having sex with him but I stood my ground and said no. That said that night he fingered me whilst I lay completely still. I purposefully let it happen so I consented but I wonder if he knew that. It was after I'd said no to other stuff.) i don't consider myself assaulted during these so just don't think about them or consider them assault, but it should give you an idea of the worth I put on my body.

I was in CBT for the rape at this point but it got cut off due to admin reasons. I realised I had to get better otherwise I could ruin my life. I started studying more. I was still a depressed mess, but I was getting better at it.

I got a 2:1 overall in first year which is okay. During the first term of second year, still completely obsessed with sex but this time not having any, I joined Sex Addicts Anonymous. The meetings helped but I realised I wasn't a real addict and what I had was a result of trauma and sexual assault, so I left. It's the end of second term now. This term I've been really stable and my friends are all completely normal, well-grounded people, but there are weird things I experience:

1. When I was having sexual relations with people, I couldn't have sex. I'm naturally tight and if penetration was attempted I'd close up even more and it'd be so painful
2. Sometimes during kissing someone and stuff like that I'll start crying randomly. Once I even panicked and pushed someone off me, crying, and they'd done nothing wrong.
3. I feel emotionally detached from people. Like I find their pain funny, and I honestly don't care about them unless I know them, and even then for around half of them it only extends as far as ""How can they help me?""
4. When I see my assailant I get severe anxiety
5. I'm not speaking to my sister now
6. I think back to my past and feel overwhelmed
7. And now the most prominent: I feel like I am undercover. Like I'm not actually a normal person and am living a lie. I feel so desperate to lead a normal life that I'm copying what those who are healthy around me do, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before I go back to the way I was.

So far I'm trying to wait that feeling out, to not focus on the bad things, to embrace the lack of emotions, and to leave the sex stuff until I find a boyfriend.

I can't tell if this is just an adjustment period. I feel like my feelings are normal for someone who has been through what I have. But equally, it's been a long time since all of the major trauma and it has gotten better but I'm not completely over it. Counselling isn't an option so please don't suggest that, but I will be seeing a doctor and me and my twin sister will be getting a form of relationship counselling for twins so we can hopefully address *some* of this stuff there.

Does what I am going through sound like PTSD or a natural reaction to trauma",3.256665182872545,5.160863913441958,4.431515543251582,84.23752314109055,74.58044806517312,7.290749661572986,25.81343219873898,8.110926066622945,1.619529285217752,7842,276,1529,127,167,2569,615,1964,0.215,0.68,0.105,-0.9998,6,3,2,0,0,5,224.0,9,5,24,22,96,119,23,10,85,1,157,43,11,18,16,302,292,158,12,30,66,12,30,13,8,5,14,9,4,9,97,96,3,6,54,7,3,34,39,65,0,27,136,48,262,54,231,127,50,242,0,9,6,16,153,86,4,35,130,1111,359,19,0.0,0.0,0.0501101225333882,0.05597900118983895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025709767767499458,0.02659151960449953,0.028332961291153005,0.020532259484496985,0.02136362687830556,0.0,0.0,0.017459855994383894,0.026922438460657637,0.039282554464355725,0.0,0.02546266528113484,0.017952531844995814,0.0,0.0,0.04571232284782848,0.07200787659855222,0.029208978179002518,0.02412247390464715,0.157939700343548,0.08575009019215674,0.10955853850176032,0.0,0.04369500673308637,0.02892689233717825,0.08083287229188113,0.11353709629631985,0.0,0.0570381941337376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587306379975581,0.07853201102445123,0.0,0.02716070759914944,0.02211670812296996,0.1615182679960103,0.0,0.0,0.1639949569031294,0.028408859389292537,0.197419196932878,0.06623291113355867,0.026469760564322816,0.04422761784989825,0.0,0.10658623657036427,0.13412436403772202,0.0,0.026279413659124798,0.022468334071431558,0.026274402392837008,0.0,0.02515169022013052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552351525751944,0.09096158970441397,0.0,0.0,0.10174842970070043,0.023224474913766145,0.08652905829836613,0.049067056875844416,0.02307500216793833,0.1004601659690058,0.024204071104633226,0.0,0.1947304991436331,0.055026598368581515,0.17256394310275416,0.0281256681479,0.07039935603519679,0.08735644526125852,0.0,0.028151272873491895,0.15869130836012885,0.023736090554719584,0.1207269812473143,0.024629765056614683,0.13132506380735898,0.0,0.2464153705585148,0.0,0.0,0.10168900413503068,0.1135214296370201,0.02733147666831477,0.022999724722913898,0.05069742301454894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030424956033934983,0.06883754882372824,0.0,0.05150816472615852,0.025501032520075108,0.02528466777368189,0.0,0.0,0.057967818517896876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852166310175349,0.0,0.028220577580623043,0.020928522502563718,0.0,0.08155823930940898,0.08368777073279736,0.02625439028571821,0.054404959248251054,0.16306537712792413,0.025733059045481732,0.06801439096242387,0.04544307050223456,0.043121006814761074,0.0,0.0,0.06548380890104308,0.023172657483732092,0.048588543580780116,0.0171382378809358,0.0520607674283906,0.0,0.02796756273745693,0.0,0.0,0.0517486499175679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01887405278500439,0.0,0.03960423019231685,0.024797040282178568,0.027305615556352362,0.0722826435080581,0.1257800673500026,0.0739074614261055,0.029231116757422775,0.02694155578953186,0.054685997572300235,0.19137822134083546,0.03905393425511086,0.05463994396365848,0.0,0.08552702749205662,0.0,0.024509658380186417,0.12459851110926733,0.04483677657930717,0.0,0.028183400493379876,0.09708455968256263,0.028944664245983093,0.0245895183560764,0.0,0.02768195377817314,0.0,0.09003797709002982,0.07743129106575122,0.057523671482636686,0.054616969348061616,0.025681912072189984,0.02922373006785071,0.016448039423325754,0.02639813921525084,0.0,0.027565302815821712,0.0,0.0219262790235676,0.12211385165419598,0.020417761939925498,0.0,0.12992217175970114,0.08183848883533908,0.0,0.05356917403711384,0.058010802604820486,0.07906494495235099,0.02123859559007656,0.02885973534482829,0.0,0.0,0.08701725492625201,0.01976584170039674,0.02539319596472692,0.0,0.05451861513479158,0.02736609552772133,0.14352841626088442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695845584989076,0.14042121734420845,0.0,0.024198349777981017,0.0,0.019304377686132832,0.06190969068872424,0.0224410502602833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940113687731625,0.04935444078449641,0.0252255218322782,0.020383053544135155,0.20959789224230607,0.0,0.0,0.024533528437922208,0.0,0.1394529219950772,0.055853976296467406,0.10032283668262858,0.02672854306507441,0.06176764098395855,0.06652477623777607,0.0,0.02118453425114181,0.045431277057942636,0.020379591401431824,0.06178472244241029,0.0,0.023084876131216715,0.07140284673657643,0.023167661581012258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02784340330490312,0.01869167962468661,0.0,0.0,0.03647751563827584,0.02807154267872194,0.0,0.06613534027738446
mentalhealth,YouWontDoThisAlone,2018/03/23,"I think I've lost the only person who ever cared I always grew up with anxiety and depression, but I also had the talent of compartmentalizing, where I can squish all of those feelings into a tiny little space in my head, and not let it come out. When I met someone who I was comfortable enough around to open up, it made me feel like the happiest person in the world. She made me so happy, not just because she was funny and kind and sweet but because it felt like she cared. I thought we could make it together, bring each other up. Ever since I got diagnosed with clinical depression, I refused to talk to anyone until I met her, and she changed everything for me and it all felt ok for once. 
 Today, she told me I was too emotional, and she couldn't deal with me anymore. Turns out she has been seeing someone else for a long time, and today she finally left me for him. I don't even know what to do anymore, I've got nobody else now. Literally, everything I did we did together, and I just feel lost. The past year meant nothing to her, but it meant the world to me, and that's what I cant get over. Thank's for reading. ",6.2458663729809105,5.3774418942731295,6.8623898678414115,79.55528817914833,66.18061674008811,10.209838472834068,30.81093979441997,9.516144504307137,2.4730208516886933,878,27,183,15,12,290,125,227,0.065,0.736,0.199,0.9896,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,0,2,12,15,0,0,8,1,15,3,1,3,4,49,43,17,0,2,7,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,13,22,0,1,10,1,0,3,5,4,0,0,21,7,36,11,27,19,4,32,0,4,1,0,23,17,0,0,14,129,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883856727710461,0.0924357109914932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498348319222229,0.0,0.22034269577982696,0.0776766536245193,0.0,0.0,0.09889357943717383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354387658089091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22652715028172496,0.0,0.11751840323091055,0.09569412777069664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869626004230688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452882750084008,0.19136316715805024,0.1127539283306031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560274345945826,0.1249612054392,0.0,0.11478558148566065,0.0,0.0733738431152736,0.2009743816709404,0.0,0.0,0.19968091033171992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685112012356747,0.07936265960546178,0.2133274849826544,0.12169357512052435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803989708000405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776975113398533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825728340390597,0.0,0.0,0.11401030529495818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568305460445795,0.06105211367233874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069952093566295,0.11359696771211344,0.0,0.10854584511815996,0.11134128218980767,0.0,0.09831108162107556,0.0,0.0,0.24253553673219896,0.0,0.0,0.21023193287893585,0.07415338288248981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659377241848228,0.0,0.0,0.11830713707155828,0.0,0.08448888853119044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604789680313093,0.0,0.19399886289362628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111199804947249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852428177405923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189472812891727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825225401694728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928986806522278,0.0,0.1022766710796107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711819338306461,0.0,0.08819298601601708,0.06477742453864183,0.0,0.21060050569365849,0.10615117728873312,0.0,0.0,0.1208339304949391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153826495645622
mentalhealth,flyflyaway888,2018/03/23,"Will we look back at these times in horror... When you consider how many people are suffering these days will we look back 50 years from now and think about society like we do when we read about Victorian times etc? For one thing millions of kids have grown up now with technology and it's messing up their brains in terms of normal development. Im generalizing of course, but most kids now dont play outside and can't form friendships like they used to etc. We have so many people who are depressed, have ADHD, anxiety and more and more people diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. I feel like this is the world WE Created. Technology, career pressure, economic inequality, social media...it all contributes to poor mental health. This is not to say past generations were never unhappy but I feel like we've created a new, special kind of misery for our youth who feel like they dont have bright futures and that the old saying ""you can be anything you want"" is not true. What are your thoughts?",6.442225225225228,7.45213995675676,6.368445945945947,76.86275900900901,65.64864864864866,9.842342342342343,30.5518018018018,9.928628108626363,2.8808288288288284,792,28,145,17,12,250,121,185,0.15,0.721,0.129,-0.7649,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,7,4,3,0,11,14,0,1,4,0,19,3,1,2,3,31,28,12,0,2,4,0,3,5,0,2,2,2,0,2,10,13,0,0,5,2,1,1,6,4,0,2,2,8,16,10,19,23,8,26,0,2,3,0,21,7,0,1,23,97,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534102543024425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976517481278503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504490949229643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19630963474296115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424993938833647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232356123450793,0.0,0.10994458627918342,0.12956186068369382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992092314232949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847265409197633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936307240145413,0.2735791293357394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568576894977455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378836895509072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292762412836426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118162238604645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21438736629590646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588337249235032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864097553258547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845139564553416,0.12328497293365487,0.0,0.0,0.1250697020481349,0.0,0.0,0.13394699280664213,0.0,0.08649880854403554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218561786257234,0.26548889754947835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768434452961566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030244899782348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012289647549638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848048555141879,0.08179283800313471,0.0,0.10133968311935836,0.1488672506188168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024844288622657,0.0,0.0,0.07529115973375823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220228647524568
mentalhealth,christian2pt0,2018/03/23,"Seeing bugs that aren’t there..? Hi, new to this sub; had to seek it out to see if someone can help me.
So, over the past few months I’d occasionally see a bug, and it would freak me out a bit since I’m not the biggest fan. I don’t have a phobia, but I panic when they’re near me when I’m not expecting it (as most people do).
As of late, I’d see a bug, and everyone around me would miss it. I chalked it up to bad luck and bad timing.
I’m seeing bugs every day now, but more often when I am alone. I know now that they are fake because last night, I DEFINITELY “got one”. There is no way I could have missed it. When I looked at the napkin, though, there was nothing there.
I’d also like to mention that I’m also hearing faint music that isn’t there. It’s far less troubling for me, but it does get frustrating trying to distinguish if I’m just making up shit or I actually hear it, since I have really sensitive ears. I know it’s fake, though, because it stops after a few seconds.
So... what the hell is going on?

Background info:
I am a 19 year old trans-male, diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am in college, and in pretty good physical health as far as I know. I get around 7-8 hours of sleep typically a night.",2.8845460024106053,3.800025385496184,4.740566492567297,85.63563077541184,73.77099236641222,8.111209321012455,24.476496584973887,8.532816995589336,1.3888442748091598,969,28,215,17,19,332,147,262,0.247,0.6779999999999999,0.075,-0.9939,1,1,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,0,21,16,3,1,11,0,19,6,3,1,0,34,42,25,0,6,9,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,17,10,0,1,5,0,0,1,6,13,0,2,3,9,21,3,27,36,7,37,1,3,6,0,6,15,2,6,21,135,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.1075666280048665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416296559544305,0.0,0.17629858451028182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432411875131278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962525804535587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407155254784416,0.13438793213228664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034042785279656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800808914465988,0.0,0.0,0.07108794145170858,0.0,0.09493921539767837,0.11187910032730863,0.0,0.0,0.2526616767862934,0.0,0.09646126613801084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287184459976232,0.10532757829001288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151791616405798,0.0,0.06264511294596685,0.09245401717079486,0.08815940159890913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716721014358199,0.2484699356054081,0.0,0.0738835052953137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855237685064896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817352792546905,0.08985053242385413,0.12434198586999587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385183326154259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256375887223546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357804633461885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798293844205363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064588898531452,0.0,0.206883023026178,0.0,0.1057667394408368,0.0,0.11566574428366225,0.0,0.07469334592929923,0.0,0.0,0.12932880875402664,0.0,0.0,0.10522509913046944,0.07641821661607479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214150429122766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061487973330773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43918722605227467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131474585964556,0.1823634823212708,0.0,0.11030760594327046,0.0,0.0933958272045748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215554418432367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659690186176356,0.0,0.06427483357966841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483757685107119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749385618478031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660561806009266,0.0,0.0,0.07098321841911957
mentalhealth,Imjustleaving3,2018/03/23,"Blood (TW?) Lately I've really been wanting to cut myself just to see my blood running down my arms. I used to cut a lot and I haven't wanted to for a long time but I just really want to see blood.  I've looked for pictures or videos of blood but I just really want to see and feel it in person. 

I've been thinking a lot about what it would feel like to cut off my own arm or leg, or what it would be like to be murdered too.

I guess I'm just not sure how to deal with this and if it's something I should be really concerned about. ",0.8352542372881331,2.121790152542374,2.7119999999999997,96.63596610169493,79.67796610169492,6.07593220338983,17.73220338983051,6.742157984588678,-0.331023050847457,410,7,103,4,10,137,63,118,0.121,0.7929999999999999,0.087,-0.6142,0,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,4,0,3,0,9,7,7,2,1,31,23,10,1,8,11,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,6,10,3,18,15,3,7,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,7,5,66,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674965942849558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337292905912685,0.1224785354281401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886321023183397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339457462258733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751626272321934,0.0,0.0,0.15172119171869353,0.14396849662092592,0.0,0.0,0.29150851574482706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969695269827302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4393217474369959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409852357597978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319847899784755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16158249983396392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985341277449223,0.0,0.0,0.0999694834540765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807124926587728,0.0,0.0,0.4044848449046744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357562472827834,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RNRelatable,2018/03/23,"How to deal with perfectionism / perfectionism anxiety? Hey yall,

I've always considered myself a high achiever. I've never gotten a C or below, actually. 


Today I received my results for English and Science exams. 39/40 for english and 45/45 for science. Sadly, I realised how detrimental my reactions were. 'oh thank god' for science and 'shit not perfect marks I did so bad'. I know this is something that will be very detrimental to my later years, so how can I help myself realise that it's okay to not be perfect and to celebrate? Cheers.",3.5275757575757574,6.4504672121212145,4.9644444444444416,75.50000000000003,78.89898989898991,7.236363636363637,31.222222222222214,8.296473431620573,3.0580828282828283,430,22,67,9,11,143,67,99,0.129,0.677,0.194,0.7292,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,3,5,8,1,0,2,1,7,1,1,4,3,16,10,10,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,11,5,10,4,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,2,1,1,4,47,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.2950333423902063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251565229731142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23128387549884835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524353807236944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116919910286477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20264740021221755,0.31943135575492737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661542799510368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331778055151428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103404235294939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23275067180840384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27834755615875084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865762811149663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494563425954397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469250428543167
mentalhealth,Own-TheLadder,2018/03/23,"Why Are We Scared Of SILENCE? Over the past few years, I have come to realise how little time I spend in silence. I always find myself listening to music, YouTube videos, Netflix etc. I don't really spend time alone with myself to analyse my thoughts. Even when I sleep I listen to a 3-hour long podcast to not feel 'alone'.

I spoke to a few of my friends and family about this topic of silence and all of them agreed that it is important for personal growth. 

I know mental health is a growing issue in the younger generations, as well as older generations, and personally I feel like silence is often overlooked as an important factor to consider when dealing with a mental health issue. 

I made a video which discusses more in depth and I think it could help a few people who suffer from mental health. 

If it did help, let me know - I would love to discuss it with you. 
If you disagree with me, or think silence isn't as important as I think it is, tell me why. I would like to see your viewpoints. 

I hope it helps you in some way xx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omzavGn0AFs&t=5s
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mentalhealth,TboneKG,2018/03/23,"Could never put my finger on whats wrong with me I really dont know whats wrong with me, i can feel it in there but i can never really put my finger on it. So im a 16 year old male, went through an extremely bad depression about 2 years ago and used a whole spectrum of different substances to cope with it, and while im not in a depression right now its like its left a stain on me. Before all this i was a happy normal kid, not sure what triggered it, maybe it was some childhood trauma i went through, but i feel like im endlessly living in a trip, always in a dream like state and often feel like im on some weird drug. I thought i was schizophrenic for a while but its clear to me that thats not it. I often let really good social and personal opportunities slip away just because of the anxiety of having to deal with situations in the constant weird headspace im trapped in. I do have a lot of friends and get invited to social events all the time but honestly i hate it, and i constantly pick up and lose new friends really quickly because i just dont know how to hold a friendship. Its strange because im a lot smarter then anybody i know and iq tests place me around 135 but there is something extremely odd and dysfunctional about my mind. Its impossible for me to have conversations with people unless im on drugs or alcohol as i just cant pick up on social cues in a sober state of mind, im always over thinking and re-analazying the situation in my mind. Sometimes i feel completely normal, and back on earth, but most the time im just off in the clouds not able to process or deal with anything that goes on around me. I did go through some pretty bad depersonalization im my depression too, but i dont get that anymore, now i just live in a trip. I dont really think this will ever fully go away, i feel as though when someone has checked out as far as i have, its truly impossible to look the other way. Idk, just needed to vent, i cant even really explain what i go through and how my mind works but this is the best i can do. I have seen a therapist before but not even they understood me or knew what to do with me so i think this is just something i have to figure out by myself. Any thoughts anyone? Thanks",4.226818840579711,4.728065145652174,5.345217391304349,84.05036231884058,70.3695652173913,8.828985507246378,28.15942028985507,8.936278230431713,1.9621028985507247,1757,59,379,31,30,583,200,460,0.129,0.731,0.141,0.8412,1,1,5,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,4,29,25,1,0,23,0,29,6,2,6,7,95,58,38,0,4,25,0,7,4,2,1,4,0,0,3,27,23,1,1,17,1,1,9,13,12,0,0,11,9,45,13,65,44,10,66,0,4,2,0,13,32,0,11,26,258,72,2,0.05608854569102015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049719111565894585,0.05994159772773431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334032634928636,0.0,0.0,0.03814213442807975,0.0,0.042907583932529775,0.0,0.05562476588367271,0.039218415270805634,0.0,0.04615609404989486,0.09986139425448223,0.0,0.0,0.10539406999746727,0.043128629497087206,0.09366318566376634,0.1025731705745594,0.0,0.09545444253293453,0.0,0.058861468314447524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880777302779644,0.12122358414217467,0.0,0.044782139767778686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564965553533033,0.14492694664897365,0.0,0.0,0.058600592408700664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629414312967379,0.0,0.13008981213372073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409191089049189,0.05073530070736945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180026986806413,0.08013933649737227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666774253445776,0.0,0.0586079003084115,0.0,0.09562923923174828,0.047044411022601665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059707299850360135,0.0,0.0553758268224017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.605852541890657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924743936087796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060940369006163175,0.05735433808430281,0.0,0.10960812113102646,0.0,0.09905442686992737,0.0,0.047100252119255726,0.06274873573389715,0.0,0.09536895160226114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634848295956608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265337684034814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158894593450957,0.08651788837215252,0.054170666938237716,0.0,0.0,0.10990973210271347,0.0,0.0,0.05885549359378869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038884735375635616,0.048974354661338614,0.058600592408700664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05706221516392769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127689603594912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559055159377352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789931155752418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609175074929796,0.0,0.17152562680464387,0.047523642749791005,0.08635940542272268,0.05547300586881865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052862790533113706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163879713852173,0.0,0.06512312457155585,0.0,0.10781782596777888,0.05510671136432629,0.0890560802546395,0.06541136408914018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844249496054177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044520476862626036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039892875653383,0.0,0.06262085822658148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04083312927441778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264803957143658,0.0,0.07223836897962364
mentalhealth,type16,2018/03/23,"Voice can be heard outside therapy office. Hi, made a throwaway to ask opinions on the following: 

I'm currently in talk therapy with a psychiatrist, his office is in an old building with no sound proofing.  During the sessions I'm seated about 2 feet from the office door. Directly opposite my therapy room, around 6 feet away across the corridor is the door to another small office.  

My issue is that I have a deep and bass-heavy voice which readily penetrates the door in such a way that, unless I whisper, anyone passing can hear every word I say.  More troubling is that the aforementioned office which sits opposite the therapy room is often in use when I leave my session, in use and the door left wide open.  The person who uses that office has line of sight to ""my"" door, from around 4 feet inside their room. All tolled they sit around 12 or 13 feet from where I sit during my session with the only measure of privacy being a thin wooden door with no soundproofing.

The corridor and the building in general are very quiet, there is no hustle and bustle, there is no radio playing, there is no white noise machine.  The person seated in the office opposite, without a doubt, hears every word I say.

After one particularly traumatic session where I had broken down in tears after discussing highly sensitive subject matter, I left the office and the person aforementioned stopped what they were doing, turned their head 90 degrees and stared at me.  It is of course just my opinion but I would say that I detected a smug look on their face and that the stare was intended to cause embarrassment.

It might be tempting to assume that I'm being paranoid about the strength of my voice but its penetrating nature has been complained about on multiple instances throughout my adult life. Just talking more quietly isn't an option unless I whisper, because I'm already speaking so quietly that my voice creaks and barely functions, and I feel that it's unreasonable that I should be expected to whisper to keep my session confidential.  

Anyway, I'd like to know if this is a common situation, is it just something I have to put up with? Is it unreasonable to be dissatisfied that fragments of my conversation can be overheard by anyone who passes the door, by other patients, secretaries, cleaners, and listened to in its entirety by the denizen of the nearby office? And what would you do if it happened to you? Frankly I'm close to quitting therapy because this makes me so uncomfortable.

Whether it's normal or not, it has stopped me from saying certain things on many occasions because the information is hard enough to share with one person, let alone another who isn't even under an ethical obligation to keep what I say private.  

I should say that I've overheard another person's session emanating from a room in another wing of the same facility, everyone sitting in the waiting area could hear them.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so, how did you deal with it?  ",10.196568265682657,8.783922184501849,9.607266420664207,64.7976966789668,58.704797047970466,12.583439114391146,41.79070110701107,11.446984129993634,4.933659837638376,2392,109,384,53,25,769,263,542,0.08199999999999999,0.8740000000000001,0.044,-0.9373,1,1,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,3,6,2,23,10,0,2,37,0,46,7,6,8,3,77,71,27,0,10,15,0,3,1,0,5,1,23,11,6,36,24,0,5,4,2,0,4,9,5,0,2,7,32,40,5,69,50,5,57,0,0,5,0,41,40,0,12,9,278,76,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739691785958656,0.08246553451571674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31344034325390097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675719025214807,0.07656890025467461,0.0,0.1995745043483123,0.06986171773598522,0.0,0.07021054678846113,0.0,0.0,0.13666268684830127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676747728168674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596651883645558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704252764152528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624266606292348,0.0,0.0,0.0772152437725139,0.0,0.04935793424002303,0.0,0.12592515428213455,0.07140695656198598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037785330739869456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608278801360845,0.0,0.0669426881821097,0.0,0.07669372234725028,0.0,0.2526757310874748,0.0,0.0,0.07895550660157001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799787338099122,0.0,0.13284549965327527,0.0,0.0,0.04106921600275877,0.0,0.0,0.0791274366475684,0.16238699689711678,0.076415673817055,0.052783446561393436,0.036508914198162115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275371005687111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071057939468513,0.04988232373543616,0.07576368331504425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792758757419913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321875309009544,0.0,0.0,0.07841572845272941,0.0,0.10127688483555676,0.056834926822404076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262532910501734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512349003882708,0.0,0.07948370670881487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565659730420844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399875596260123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753019192826943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249539208505688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012900644551892,0.0,0.0,0.4272967855903223,0.0,0.04964676236571509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128391456834047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936261153436039,0.0,0.061659419307942887,0.0,0.059316563519809476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720362856257104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617096441151484,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Richard_ANDERSON1,2018/03/23,"I am depressed, zero motivation to find work and no direction in life. Advice? I am 25 years old and I have no idea what to do with my life. Because of this, I am depressed, lacking motivation and have no direction in life. 

I just feel so down at the moment, it's hard to focus properly right now. I have no one to turn to for advice, no one understands and just thinks I am lazy etc. 

I live with my parents, but I don't want to be living with my parents, I would much rather be out in the real world on my own living an independent life. I feel like a ****ing loser to be 25, living at home with parents and unemployed, it's a **** situation to be in but people don't understand when you have a mental illness how hard it is on a person. 

Sometimes I just feel like crying. I am a grown 25 year old guy and I want to cry. I have almost zero social life, very few friends because I have grown apart and distanced myself from people, so I pretty much live in solitude 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Do I want this life? Of course I don't, but I don't know how to change. Each day, week, month seems to pass so fast and next thing I am a year older with still no direction. 

I am frustrated and annoyed at myself too for not changing, but it's hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, no career or life goals etc. 

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don't really know, nor care too much, but I have no one else to turn to, so..",1.8233224115334217,3.4049942232415917,3.5793217562254256,90.20143348623856,77.71559633027522,6.506290956749673,22.076124945391,7.310402129719878,0.6338345128877245,1209,34,268,15,28,405,149,327,0.205,0.723,0.071,-0.9884,6,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,3,0,5,18,11,2,0,12,0,33,9,0,5,1,54,49,26,0,6,13,3,7,2,3,1,9,0,1,2,10,16,0,0,14,0,0,3,17,5,0,5,0,7,34,6,39,44,11,41,0,3,0,0,15,18,0,6,22,191,44,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728189974011374,0.0,0.0,0.07546218506774638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124740511930903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045145590002208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187755056407447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683457383800164,0.0,0.15944184031167585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655589103009806,0.1458029563725125,0.0,0.12981496812715831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295363570828402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680927096337318,0.04977458957663192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710427301253048,0.0,0.11431288759665592,0.10767444205875364,0.0,0.0,0.06887770284845945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644594564612396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320841836527319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461827853510453,0.0,0.0,0.27003114135348816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559225532909941,0.0,0.07421445017197217,0.0,0.0,0.08507230186849178,0.0,0.0,0.07478320228133081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828318041363154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258321470679468,0.07363420888990352,0.07553054860745068,0.3327214390843741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759451861331483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06015165757241039,0.0,0.1661948809246993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014624764938533,0.0,0.0,0.07230998198117318,0.0,0.15815535071248166,0.0,0.1531977215185607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510351876868599,0.0,0.0,0.10449031322616782,0.06580147208381322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076668243698448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442048139941576,0.0,0.0,0.08577621341013386,0.04827756540584716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643570545049863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860494167499508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470783203069861,0.0,0.0768200610427798,0.0,0.0,0.07453299736818843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018261790786416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500658558469057,0.04828766480345164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394014656879494,0.0,0.15690489946141178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435983542835073,0.1333478959519971,0.0,0.1208985420501648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486299992363999,0.0,0.0,0.05353360366379749,0.0,0.0,0.14558816709264366
mentalhealth,Salmoncubes,2018/03/23,"Unusual compulsions? Hi, r/mentalhealth. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, but I'm unsure of anywhere else to ask.

So, recently, over the past few months, I get an inexplicable and highly compulsive urge to walk into the woods very late at night, usually 1-4AM. It's almost like being told there's some great, unmissable thing going on in there, and I absolutely belong there, regardless of anything else I do. I am very much an indoors person, and I get this urge despite knowing that it's probably dangerous, given nocturnal predators and such in the area. 

Is this something else that other people are experiencing? An irrational urge to move to a specific place? Is this an odd form of Call of the Void? Could this be linked to an emerging disassociation disorder?",6.3011267605633785,7.870988408450708,7.0663098591549325,69.69242253521128,66.32394366197184,10.75042253521127,32.50985915492957,10.793553405168565,3.9319160563380287,622,26,104,18,10,206,97,142,0.136,0.807,0.056,-0.8735,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,11,0,9,0,0,0,0,13,17,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,5,2,16,12,4,20,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,3,7,68,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614190849315842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326543334798496,0.0,0.15070077195975692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646038047140417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287055376972411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474981835371215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039871729141406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844128846044565,0.0,0.09161399848782302,0.0,0.0,0.17772419690819338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031725215083535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859161721140675,0.0,0.1818412637437843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875445567868658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866875659298282,0.17133069414482202,0.11850096652203805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512758144041048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388418376601382,0.11175617781303622,0.1407541194491616,0.3368405705689573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438558558136256,0.0,0.1738014784264119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916611495167565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410007391097125,0.0,0.18045083981586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709449547304864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403405220947156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753965300582888,0.2660147041735573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624751700578745,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spwarklyz,2018/03/23,"My social anxiety and misanthropy is literally making me suicidal. I'm 17, I'm a junior in high school. I've only been at the school since the start of the year and I have no friends at all. I've dealt with social anxiety all of my life.

I used to be optimistic my sophomore year, then things kind of went downhill. My girlfriend, who I thought was one of the nicest, sweetest people I'd met in my life, cheated on me and then broke up with me over the summer, and my brother helped her hide it. then, right before junior year started, I moved schools and lost all of my friends which were hard to get in the first place. I got a job but suck at it and my coworkers get angry with me a lot. I'm white and live in a majority black area and people at my school have called me ""white boy"" and probably think I'm racist because I don't talk due to the social anxiety. The other day I was standing in the lunch line and somebody behind me kept sticking their finger in my ear. I remember I just stood there and thought about how I *really* wanted to smash his head really fucking hard into a wall but knew it would just make things harder for me. People are disgusted by me and I'm really not sure why. I asked somebody a question, they gave me the answer in an indistinguishably disgusted voice. Imagine how you say ""go away!"" to a creep; that's exactly the tone of voice she used. I had to shake hands with someone in a business class and she half-assed the shake and wiped her hand off. I'm not sure why people treat me like this, I don't do anything creepy that I know of, but it makes it really hard for me to want to talk to anyone. I don't think it's just because I'm white, because while there are very few white people here, they still tend to have many black friends. People are also constantly making rude comments about white people in general here. I'm not trying to act like I'm oppressed or anything, it's just a little socially discouraging to hear those around you shitting on your race for no reason.

All of this has led me to hate the human race as a whole and it's only getting worse. It started with the ex-girlfriend and just went downhill from there. I even hate myself and believe that even I'm not a good person. Also I read catcher in the rye 3 months ago and realized I'm almost exactly like Holden, and it's the reason I'm suicidal. Only it hasn't made me change, and I don't know how to, but desperately want to. I at least want to learn how to live with it.

I should say I'm on the brink of failing highschool as well, which is nice.

thank you for reading this, if you have. I'm pretty hopeless right now and any advice whatsoever would be greatly appreciated, and I'll keep it mind as I'm tying the rope. ^/s",4.950063364663638,5.099720202872536,5.649746013306582,83.73545754567537,68.6947935368043,8.63552645474707,28.231545041715073,8.405096225971981,1.7607182807054604,2151,66,451,29,34,701,253,557,0.17800000000000002,0.7340000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.995,1,0,0,0,0,1,60.0,0,5,3,3,24,31,9,2,30,0,26,10,6,14,8,94,83,41,2,8,15,1,6,3,4,3,2,6,0,3,26,30,1,3,15,2,0,8,11,16,1,2,17,19,57,15,68,61,9,60,0,5,7,1,38,32,3,5,22,276,83,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579411129280686,0.05968399573083096,0.0,0.06742128410220978,0.0,0.0,0.10768757714836416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045786718963254106,0.0,0.15452183127942629,0.0,0.0,0.04707871190518936,0.0,0.11081373071498853,0.0599379880356487,0.0629444750292538,0.0,0.06325876534868202,0.0,0.0,0.1231312564094416,0.0,0.05729288357329085,0.07585787021088347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875147313983195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122622810207539,0.0,0.0,0.0727598266597003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043422289524694416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889416796480052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727087626170418,0.0,0.0,0.1560570074317939,0.062245513815513326,0.10553146149336046,0.0,0.03826519907732643,0.056473222030750385,0.05384996361376043,0.0742315791014612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094340511038556,0.13294890063669587,0.06910001997704157,0.0,0.07588582016662752,0.0,0.04512988971852266,0.07113785739546301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681465057705625,0.05984601085300244,0.0,0.07011384947608537,0.07400563069250515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511436139023603,0.09868213290042042,0.06748236313972371,0.11890727336487715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734986648355137,0.05724157090718888,0.0,0.06370928805147648,0.1797732310351722,0.06826206722500425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798412139949088,0.0,0.05374217551171465,0.07156115034515756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045624560597432126,0.15362253096961428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267470827499931,0.058789971953814864,0.07034553508683809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849883071063963,0.07259314386113462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542502586382244,0.0,0.1346964706772611,0.0,0.17253332646376507,0.1384529381903643,0.0,0.0,0.07627178165749668,0.11499892964580075,0.0,0.1070870605236035,0.0,0.2725662785475672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911329271640602,0.055696084078232865,0.0,0.0,0.2745378844073819,0.057048503113996216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296959323407055,0.0,0.053769836857203865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729621635104834,0.0,0.12691548441353978,0.0,0.0,0.1082346310904432,0.0,0.061988431629074366,0.0,0.0,0.08946214021881667,0.0862847097370173,0.0,0.10690502195876894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04571266044553155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630303001629083,0.0,0.05555431364591205,0.15885194894794474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060537769387189626,0.1248311966893476,0.12150973183132707,0.07517155712050208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861503732721126,0.09565862155705472,0.0,0.0,0.13007496624515982
mentalhealth,Hungryshark211,2018/03/23,"Is it normal to have excessively violent thoughts? And why do I have them? For the past few years of my life I’ve had extremely violent thoughts out of nowhere. I’ll just be walking in a park or sitting with my girlfriend and out of nowhere have very vivid visions. It’ll be me strangling the life out of my girlfriend, watching her skin turn pale, or taking the nearest sharp object and jamming it into my gut as I cough out blood. I’ve always been to afraid to ask about these in person, so here I am. Anyone know why I have these and if their normal?",5.0415444015444,5.481934081081087,5.158249678249678,86.3237837837838,68.54954954954955,7.784298584298584,31.17245817245817,7.447530270364453,1.8086566280566283,437,17,90,4,7,137,71,111,0.076,0.904,0.02,-0.7999,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,4,3,2,1,4,0,12,6,3,0,0,19,18,9,0,3,4,0,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,4,12,0,18,11,1,12,0,0,2,0,7,8,0,3,2,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935154934373089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626171940852073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174200078591228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781348004972434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285397994243265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4557351977071086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22201280065596413,0.0,0.2030697079973338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486245171346415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692665750830838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25296757533297465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918932408903048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197135147675602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976638892269248
mentalhealth,SchmittytheWonderKid,2018/03/23,"What is this and what do I do about it?  I’ve known for a while that I’m under contract with a terrible company. They have upended and destroyed my life twice through their own mismanagement and complete lack or regard for my wellbeing or basic needs. Twice I’ve been nearly homeless as a result of wages not being paid or commitments not being kept by them.
  I have been trying to do all I can to stabilize my life and finances to get away from this mess when my obligations to them expire in a little over a year.
  But it’s taking a toll and I’ve often wonder if I’ll make it that long.
Either because I’ll take an easier way out or because the stress and disfunction of trying to balance everything I’m doing to try and survive will catch up with me and wreck any opportunities once I am finally free of this.
  It’s at the point that just receiving a simple innocuous message from anyone in this company sends me into an immediate tailspin. I can’t muster the ability to reply for hours and just spend the next 6 hours to 3 days just sitting and staring at nothing unless something forces me to do otherwise.
  It feels like the moment after you start falling. After you realize what’s happening and that you’ve felt this before, like you know something is going to fucking hurt real soon and the only option is to relax and wait to find out how bad it is.
  Just sitting, stuck in a loop trying to figure out how bad it’s going to be this time and if there’s anyway to make it less bad but there is no way to know and so you just sit and wait and your mind is racing the whole time with no where to go.
  Quitting is not simple because of the contracts involved and I really think I’ll be worse off if I burn the contacts I do have here. And I’m now broke, so... there’s that too.
  What is this feeling even called? Can you feel avoidant to a whole organization? What can I realistically do to make it through one more year of this? I have no resources and no money left. No support system and no hope that I can turn this around until I get this toxic influence out of my life. 
I can’t believe I’m not going to make it with only a year left...
I’ve turned to every professional or organizational resource I can’t think of for help. For this and a lot of things. Nobody gives a shit.

I don’t expect anyone to give a shit and I don’t care if you do or don’t.

But if anyone else has been here... how can I make it one more year? 
Realistic advice please. I need something I can personally do to keep life on the rails just 14 more months.

PS ive already tried legally firing this company to keep their word and be responsible for their actions. My life and career is objectively worse off for it. I just want to get through this. I’m too exhausted to fight anymore.",4.0848443223443205,5.028073250000006,5.328928571428573,82.43171245421246,70.96428571428571,8.100732600732604,26.680402930402927,8.384062270229773,1.6773740842490843,2180,69,443,33,39,727,251,560,0.128,0.8009999999999999,0.071,-0.9866,1,1,3,0,1,0,42.0,0,7,6,4,28,23,5,2,25,0,46,9,2,10,2,106,94,49,0,11,27,0,5,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,37,35,0,6,13,1,6,9,16,15,0,4,7,6,43,9,76,81,11,61,0,2,1,1,25,24,3,16,24,317,80,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694997159824424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689849863523419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355018336092926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809516843101846,0.16518372873207152,0.08068488870358466,0.0,0.0701009009221668,0.0,0.0,0.0739847396867759,0.0,0.19724961024091128,0.14400903815534224,0.0,0.0670073001537485,0.08872011253792794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040877521550946,0.0,0.08028709956933176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256399585147582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050784848066201864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578242796034874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052011187538924815,0.0,0.06634715285476142,0.0,0.0707720955742362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944948387273108,0.056256371440741484,0.07560879570672482,0.08626272100715797,0.07197269029383266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279968413746972,0.12342507262535372,0.15108125007933268,0.17901334477168304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963509177180666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278198403831744,0.0,0.0,0.07821284252185662,0.15509848373736515,0.0,0.08429954130097694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998665670586313,0.0,0.0,0.08655381261333361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111616763430415,0.0,0.2781041974634885,0.07694292771529243,0.07892447857338651,0.0,0.0696879962429543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694728705954309,0.0,0.0,0.26281882889026675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951131352076407,0.0,0.06285454424408983,0.0,0.0,0.11677876521462845,0.0,0.0,0.08374758189850172,0.0,0.0,0.07555919728818307,0.0,0.0,0.08386223798792981,0.10672105977784076,0.11978021703040168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875823053486879,0.0,0.0864397887726251,0.07444070521241092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375638161470868,0.0,0.08963052754427538,0.050446895285402256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166388775799204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186824353187286,0.0,0.0,0.05573703544082489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020361896891856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893603664442119,0.0,0.0,0.11841483287073608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052315541723174784,0.10091489698945326,0.0,0.0,0.09183519992743906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673178384695657,0.1713067205751813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644660714950062,0.12501029295070096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583486034717,0.0,0.0,0.08539700171922747,0.0,0.0,0.16049841147770372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20284013795019606
mentalhealth,AVerySaltyPlayer,2018/03/23,"I think I may be a sociopath Now I love my boyfriend more than anything, he's very sweet, kind and the nicest person you'll ever come across, we get into arguments sometimes but overall were pretty healthy and happy together. 

One problem however is that I've grown apathetic to him somehow, if he bursts out in tears and calls me for help to give him affection or to help calm him down, I usually just tell him to quit be annoying and stop crying, and don't really care about him at all. It's like I'm completely lacking any sympathy or pity towards him, lacking any desire to help him at all. I feel like this is a serious mental problem that I honestly want to get rid of as soon as possible, I dont want to be some emotionless freak who doesn't even care about her own boyfriend. 

Any advice on how to deal with this? I feel as if I might be a sociopath and I want to do anything I can to change that...",7.069070048309177,5.568370423913045,7.389855072463771,78.49475845410629,64.86956521739131,11.221256038647343,35.66183574879227,10.25414643259724,3.341300241545893,714,28,149,14,9,234,116,184,0.174,0.557,0.269,0.9686,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,0,1,9,16,1,0,4,0,15,1,0,2,3,38,29,15,0,10,6,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,11,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,1,3,23,10,28,21,7,16,0,1,0,1,22,9,0,8,7,102,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655439565725982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285088328467453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22999173833306186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269234253161026,0.0,0.2849528370979801,0.0,0.14782864822263192,0.12037547449815107,0.14651696839357947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535001719947765,0.0,0.1440680037041123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377673985570348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922983613155269,0.1264047602460103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413156430775912,0.09983180817880984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601899434353305,0.13405338800799074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875809973124202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809986195800504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551992806471215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365418956763035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612273148779984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408272029867852,0.14824432050290184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469288629469658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220174409702549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753825901338528,0.0,0.14216798809383685,0.0,0.267428698570933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863296030243547,0.0,0.0,0.08952238909780644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382085433457384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168306809435484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214078416637827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954111668264635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390621756077702,0.11530189521536655,0.24727059300597334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Womcataclysm,2018/03/23,"A lot of stuff happened during the last 24 hours.. But they feel fuzzy, I feel like I'm gonna wake up I really wish it's a dream but it's not, is it..",-3.0458333333333307,-1.4539494722222184,0.3291111111111107,105.52700000000002,99.27777777777777,3.9911111111111115,9.977777777777778,5.6839178017228535,-1.7708822222222222,113,1,33,1,5,40,28,36,0.0,0.823,0.177,0.5233,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,7,2,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,2,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,17,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585670093217413,0.25330807060194405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31354903082375485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491844271380289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890255156332196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322717469038987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30144653277097033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271494834334293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059029343659909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4077431391192925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1Tranquilo2,2018/03/23,"Virtually no psychiatrists available in USA according to research by Treatment Advocacy Center Extreme Psychiatrist Shortage Expected For Next 30 Years 
New research published in Psychiatric Services by Anand Satiani, MD, and authors from Ohio State University anticipates an extreme psychiatrist shortage for the next 30 years.
Although there has been much attention focused on physician workforce shortages in recent years, previous estimates of the shortage of psychiatrists have ranged considerably. The authors write that ""to address the shortage in light of the growing US population and the fact that mental illness has become the costliest condition in the United States, at $201 billion annually, the estimated shortage must first be quantified.""


Dr. Satiani and his co-authors analyzed estimates of workforce numbers through the Association of American Medical Colleges data in combination with population numbers. They found that by 2024, a little more than five years from now, the availability of psychiatrists per population is projected to reach an all-time low.
In 2024, there will be 11.3 psychiatrists per 100,000 population, according to the results. This translates to an estimated shortage of 14,000-31,000 psychiatrists based on established ratios determined by the Department of Health and Human Services. This is due to the expected retirement of more than 25,000 psychiatrists over the next five years who are currently over the age of 55.
Although a slow expansion of the psychiatric workforce is expected to begin in 2025, it remains unclear whether this will resolve the shortage in the next 30 years, according to the authors.


New research is needed in developing strategies to increase the workforce to address these shortages, especially to limit the worsening shortage by 2024. Without an adequate supply of psychiatrists, no law or policy change can ensure adequate care for individuals with the most serious mental illnesses. 
Elizabeth Sinclair
Director of Research
Treatment Advocacy Center
REFERENCES: 
Satiani, A. et al. (March 2018). Projected workforce of psychiatrists in the United States: A population analysis. Psychiatric Services.
Questions? Contact us at orpa@treatmentadvocacycenter.org  
Follow ORPA on Twitter at @TACResearch. 
Research Weekly is a summary published as a public service of the Treatment Advocacy Center and does not necessarily reflect the findings or positions of the organization or its staff. Full access to research summarized may require a fee or paid subscription to the publications. 

Looks like it is time to stop recommending Redditors with mental health problems see a psychiatrist.   ",12.75176567656766,14.60606726237624,11.420544554455445,43.16500825082511,52.118811881188115,14.456105610561053,53.96204620462046,13.427899808715575,8.613196699669968,2210,150,232,78,24,700,212,404,0.108,0.831,0.061,-0.92,1,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,2,0,1,4,3,6,0,0,40,0,18,7,0,1,2,39,26,13,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,2,1,11,8,0,3,8,0,2,4,4,3,0,4,3,4,4,3,67,17,6,57,0,1,2,0,11,25,0,8,26,167,15,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877400492301752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888005458405722,0.0,0.12334586978511924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020362300410076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656901789438357,0.09917871876820618,0.0,0.1278443584528641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24787774173249405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056964191605603315,0.11686243955942342,0.0,0.0,0.09791346694780736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174608335686022,0.35251192615217103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571339493414093,0.08645639248049736,0.0,0.2252233297337023,0.4960157814035504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156912353367564,0.0,0.0,0.1306171289234283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151270615877101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291399672159853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974816595553739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798958760917803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805075447290605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935283724509191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239689996437932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505140950545932
mentalhealth,AllThoseSadSongs,2018/03/23,"Those of you with multiple diagnoses... Does anyone else find their disorders to exist separately from one another?  

When I'm depressed, I am unbelievably depressed.  There's no room for my anxiety.  There are no panic attacks, worry, anything.

When I'm anxious, I'm not depressed.  I'm not exactly sunshine personified, but the heaviness of depression is just not there.  It's a completely different brand of misery.   Filled with panic attacks!

Then, there are times where I don't have any depression or anxiety.  Frankly, I feel pretty great.  I find huge amounts of joy in all the things I used to before I was depressed or anxious.  But I'll occasionally fall into these obsessive rabbit holes, where I obsess on a single topic, but to the point where it interferes a little with my daily functioning and DEFINITELY interferes with my sleep.

It's like I have these three different issues, but they never exist at the same time.  Like they go in cycles.  

Do any of your guys with multiple diagnoses notice the same thing?  I just always assumed I was all of the above, but then I realized recently that it's always been one or the other.  They've never existed at the same time.",5.093182762201458,7.400549481308419,6.084984423676016,72.61170301142265,70.54205607476634,9.802284527518172,30.580477673935622,10.125756701596842,3.655859605399792,935,40,152,27,18,309,119,214,0.235,0.647,0.118,-0.9695,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,3,0,11,17,2,4,11,0,11,3,1,1,5,36,18,13,0,0,13,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,11,7,0,2,5,0,0,3,8,12,0,3,3,2,19,5,22,15,7,26,0,6,1,0,6,13,0,4,12,112,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744106943811271,0.0,0.0,0.1425406662043569,0.10989616166543174,0.16034958952007625,0.2367974413133853,0.0,0.07328141337659795,0.10738411212261603,0.08624478537860095,0.0,0.0,0.23845942430010625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918050887048239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988502965378924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5416053358330114,0.21274776515918328,0.0,0.2189958062692167,0.12011449618471585,0.0,0.09171471139492976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755031745465072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299206569853476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157796629484286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595625444717038,0.0,0.0,0.11554681115079946,0.0,0.10377246524632887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093881765653102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024039087068136,0.10504116932576256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166265511981828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932008081397155,0.0,0.0,0.1420358438013054,0.0,0.0,0.2459298917547925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990736823642789,0.0,0.0,0.10662337447186354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348133425764176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048797164789248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925427892192674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333621507566467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051703067767276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643357800978208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TowerHaunt,2018/03/24,"I feel emotions I have no words for I really just want to let this out there, since I was a child I've had emotions I've never actually understood. The most common is a mix of grief, awe, and joy. It's so hard to explain that I have never been able to talk about it or even properly explain it. 

I have spells of an emotion that feels like a desperation and homesickness but I have no idea for what or where it's for. I have a fusion of absolute bliss and sort of separation that makes me so emotional I cry. 

I'm absolutely plagued by this feeling of desperation for something that I don't know. I've fought depression over my frantic want to connect with whatever this is. But I've tried and tried to explain to people what all this is. It's after my latest episode of the longing one that I'm here just trying to get some sort of answer as to what this is. 

I don't even have words for what I'm going through, but I've been like this my whole life. Feelings of desolation when I'm alone were the start of it. But as I've gotten older I feel more things I don't understand and can't really describe. ",5.292146456163927,4.883543515283847,6.3262882096069895,81.08114880752437,67.99563318777292,9.840913671481358,30.715821296607324,9.466822959209583,2.4368425260329203,871,30,188,16,13,292,115,229,0.14300000000000002,0.758,0.099,-0.8807,0,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,1,1,8,0,20,1,0,1,3,40,43,16,1,2,8,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,22,7,0,0,13,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,8,6,17,3,31,34,5,13,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,6,11,129,39,0,0.13331580497802364,0.0,0.13009699462248403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138074968014106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644115174042824,0.0,0.0,0.1148247074780091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5998493471339653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761076637133657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370423834431591,0.09524083771405746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965200569408388,0.0,0.07576644423294218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942477536756585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049731656463472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326687990641931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632444301216248,0.09416489567272808,0.13026273654168746,0.0,0.0,0.11798029220182453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898933503702211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564273491546325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033823969326016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242439314646472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081103683041668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110280211525337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026330198930174,0.0,0.0,0.09436161293612763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715419412839627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856909700314328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27153804150241834,0.0,0.0,0.13878645461650604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726623173888318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884233527609514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,harmony31,2018/03/24,awful customer service experience and now I’m annoyed. How can I not be mad about it for the rest of the day? I’m feeling very anxious. This might be minor for some people but for me it really is going to throw off my entire day. A food service attendant was extremely rude and condescending to me. I also got ripped off and overcharged. But I felt so powerless and didn’t stand up for myself. I probably am making a big deal about it but I honestly can’t stop thinking about my bad experience. How can I calm down? Is it worth talking to the owner? I get people have bad days but this young woman was very unprofessional. I am really anxious because of it and can’t focus. ,1.4920522388059685,4.054151992537314,3.879235074626866,82.16721082089555,85.04477611940298,6.633582089552236,23.30037313432836,7.8658589789855275,1.6092552238805973,533,20,100,11,16,184,81,134,0.237,0.682,0.081,-0.9796,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,3,0,5,1,15,1,0,3,0,19,24,13,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,1,3,0,1,3,4,5,0,0,5,2,13,2,16,16,2,15,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,6,73,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095045698859046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982342588061579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943298668255031,0.10744295253654047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410082229019413,0.18171038851018467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448209465980239,0.0,0.0,0.08911944271447803,0.0,0.16923171668641404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213127334098492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208556900158003,0.0,0.10016934988290764,0.0,0.14096662179930566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765107795958935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697790196590144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244385003639338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900318880304727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582596669739236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735644194641978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166648668463624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293660411548424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908564238673742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aaerlevsedi,2018/03/24,"Free/low cost resources? Currently living in Reno, NV area.

No insurance.
Having difficulty keeping jobs or steady work.
It's gotten exponentially worse as I've reached my mid-20s.

Have had issues for my entire life, but when I was growing up, I had a very severely autistic little brother, as well as a little brother with other mental health disorders, so because I was seemingly ""neuro-typical"" They focused on their issues and ignored mine. I was good at hiding them, because they weren't as life-threatening or important.

But I am recognizing fully that I am having issues with alcohol and drugs and relationships and functional living, and don't know how to reach out for help, but instead feel trapped in an endless cycle.
I was fired the this week from a temp job because I missed 3 days within a 6 week period - One for my wedding, one for driving my MIL to San Franciso to catch her flight home, and one because I was ""sick"" - I took ecstasy the night before and thought that I could go to work the next day without it affecting me terribly. I was wrong.

I know that there are multiple issues, but I feel like actually having a real diagnosis of whatever is wrong with me could help. I have been self-diagnosing and self-medicating with alcohol. I got into an argument with my husband and basically threw a fit because he didn't want me to have booze.

Something is fucky and I don't have the money to fix it right now. What other resources are available?

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mentalhealth,Satanic_Ghost_Scum,2018/03/24,"How Do I (21F) Become a Person Again? I went through a breakup in January. He took my virginity and left me. Two boyfriends before that cheated on me. I've been in relationship after relationship for 4 years. I don't know how to become a person again, with my own hobbies and thoughts and friends. I don't really have any friends that I can talk to in person. How do I rebuild my life? ",1.794318181818184,4.110064974025978,3.4884253246753225,87.19549512987015,81.07792207792205,6.447402597402598,26.508116883116887,7.6454224807358475,1.5475467532467535,301,13,62,5,8,100,48,77,0.047,0.861,0.093,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,3,0,7,2,0,3,0,9,11,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,4,0,11,2,10,7,1,11,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,4,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307363592682519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246492836926024,0.16359029823393004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970632161741784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056553837134926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887981482400472,0.0,0.1357916182230028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5035949551807418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316005309539588,0.0,0.0,0.4128083683423976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452299199319194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526247531472897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135964426873735,0.0,0.0,0.1877999799020265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821735808763536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380247594271936
mentalhealth,punkhora,2018/03/24,"Home alone for the first time in a while, ended up relapsing into SH My girlfriend went to visit her parents for the weekend. I have no idea how to cope. I’m okay with being away from her when I go to work but at home without her? For two days? Oh god no.
I haven’t even had blades in a year. Mere hours after she left I just decided I didn’t care and went and bought some. The anxiety was torturous. I think a part of me wants to show off the fact that I SH’d to her, in a ”yeah look what happens when you’re not around” way.
I know this is obviously not healthy. I don’t know how I’ll manage until monday after work to see her. Does anybody have any advice?",-0.02098404255319153,2.067619255319152,1.906449468085107,97.09031250000002,86.94326241134752,4.9434397163120565,17.32313829787234,6.322622252153567,-0.3945287234042554,509,12,120,5,16,168,98,141,0.118,0.802,0.08,-0.6401,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,7,3,1,0,8,2,9,0,0,2,2,21,22,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,5,2,1,4,8,1,0,2,6,2,17,2,25,15,2,29,0,0,2,0,9,10,0,1,14,80,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272178706505806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830636511798624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019865863046375,0.0,0.13521618837270108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734837363375315,0.0,0.0,0.16606603210929097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802122993402332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399159131102247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467845885532566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565514210552767,0.0,0.0,0.11674423099207418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503467088518121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045326910219404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630281913632568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35459698582810045,0.0,0.17406690818590112,0.0,0.0,0.1995335480380412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19427855373256891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920435424188996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484286920692974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962641995157868,0.19140716234079985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084991000951055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132567107399837,0.0,0.0,0.103066573758853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266279863839953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425398246870173,0.14029895496715275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277051236044449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038437484038116,0.0,0.25735777192668424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382366486825375
mentalhealth,CautiousOutside,2018/03/24,"I have no sense of self/personality, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm not sure if this is possible or not but it seems like I don't have a personality of my own. When I was a kid I would copy other people's personality whether it was in person, my best friend, someone in our group, or someone I admire on TV. I would act almost exactly like them to the point where people have made comments in the past ""Oh great... he's acting like Keith now..""( a guy in our group at the time).

Now that I'm older, it's not even noticeable. It's not gone, I still feel like I have no sense of self and no personality traits of my own. It's just I am remarkably *better* at hiding it. 

It's almost like my whole identity is solely based on the people around me or that have had a significant influence on me. It's like I am just one big mixture of different personalities I have picked up and copied throughout my lifetime to utilize and this is how I cope.

I have pondered this thought for quite some time now, but was always afraid of the answer I will get. (multiple personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, or some psychotic disorder).

It's really been eating at me the past few days. What the hell is wrong with me?

Also, if it's worth mentioning. I do have a pretty decent confidence level. (I've read that is the contrary towards people with bpd) I want to emphasize that although I have no sense of self, I *do* have self-worth is that makes sense?  I don't feel any resentment towards myself or feel significantly submissive in social settings. It's not so much that I am easily persuaded it is that I just copy other people.
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mentalhealth,graye1999,2018/03/24,"Completely discontented with everything I am unhappy about everything in my life. I have brief moments of happiness, but I am never there for long. I’m engaged to be married, but I’m encountering resistance from all directions and I just want to get away. I don’t want to do things a certain way and I don’t want to be controlled and manipulated but no one really wants what I want and no one really cares how I feel. They say it’s about the bride.  No, it really isn’t. 

I just want to run away. I dream about leaving and living in my car, or moving to a tiny house in the country, but I know I would be just as unhappy there because I crave relationship. But I can’t figure out how to be happy and feel content. I can’t figure out how to feel at peace. I honestly can’t wait until I die and this is all over. There’s no relief. 

No suicidal ideation. No self harm. On meds but I don’t feel like they work. Going to counseling. ",1.4745880407825849,3.5747648743455507,3.7755524937999465,85.89859465417472,80.8848167539267,7.790686139432349,23.141636814549464,8.6894789155246,1.6733392670157063,725,25,155,18,19,250,99,191,0.201,0.6,0.199,-0.5118,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,2,12,9,0,0,4,0,17,1,0,5,4,44,34,19,2,7,10,0,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,5,10,0,2,7,1,0,5,14,1,0,2,0,5,22,8,28,29,2,20,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,1,5,110,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25670679142968905,0.0,0.0,0.08327865601799071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928712739204935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432372307612166,0.0,0.1532242720280598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178381386533945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455597959056519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276304671050806,0.09759710361331994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137520185416954,0.0,0.07764091208874205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908563901153952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763426992580307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750795083419982,0.0,0.0,0.14465455195110072,0.0,0.0,0.09649454268032163,0.06674272350156576,0.0,0.1206327077951202,0.12089913401351465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174741055678706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451991134735743,0.0,0.0,0.10536517626570928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514642985519847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26255537319853195,0.0,0.0,0.14667236181099458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864097472945668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425182471018953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494335958060187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907603035066343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834710324570373,0.10843787291447313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994566544429055,0.0,0.0,0.09704670047362073,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Babysteps365,2018/03/24,"My brother has taken a complete nosedive since my mother died seven years ago. I sacrificed myself to help him but I had to stop. He's gone from being severely depressed to paranoid delusional. Can I do? He thinks his phone and my family's cell phones are tapped and that police are out to get him and that there is a trial against him. What can I do?

I want to just check him in, my family disagrees. Help!
",1.677407407407408,4.140761432098767,3.070617283950618,89.07777777777781,82.82716049382717,6.0691358024691375,21.34567901234568,7.3871296695380915,0.8821456790123463,320,10,63,5,9,104,56,81,0.22,0.7040000000000001,0.077,-0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,15,4,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,15,0,9,11,0,6,0,1,0,0,14,2,0,0,3,46,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24434034018934905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890057930408892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23741037957393704,0.0,0.2860732740276429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5197022121053491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401176779035493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695145565073282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311397432991767,0.0,0.2280142266657945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23044937366501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766205083299348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258101845563858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750465661289794
mentalhealth,Missishy,2018/03/24,"My housemate and friend has a mental illness. When she’s stressed she takes it out on me and uses her illness as an excuse. I don’t know what to do. Her illness encompasses intrusive thoughts. She will see a simple action or conversation and create scenarios from it where she believes I hate her/am angry/being mean to her and believes I will turn our other friends against her. 
It’s really upsetting firstly that her mind is so tortured. As I love her a lot and am deeply saddened that she’s feels like this. 
Secondly, I’m so stressed as I am constantly having to watch what I say and my actions. I can’t relax in my own home. 
*For example Last week I said that a new outfit was really flattering (she asked my opinion) and was given the silent treatment for an hour. We were driving somewhere together, so it was really uncomfortable. In the end she told me it was because by flattering she thought I was insinuating she was fat. She said that she goes quite because that’s how she deals with the thoughts. Because she knows I’m not trying to be mean.*
Thirdly, it really hurts to think someone could think such horrible things about you. I could never do something like that to anyone let alone one of my closest friends.

This is really affecting me and my own mental health. I have a lot going on in my life I’m trying to deal with at the moment and I feel this is taking over my life. She says she won’t see a psych because she’s not that bad and is not affecting anyone but herself but she does this to all our friends but to a lesser extent as she only lives with me. Our friends will not tell her and there is no way we’re could have an intervention because that will feed the ‘everyone hates me’ thoughts. 
Please help I’m not sure what to do. I’m seeing someone for my own issues but I cant afford to spend the whole session talking about her.",2.9601597496706162,5.033437114130437,3.990069169960474,86.31784255599474,75.95652173913044,6.960606060606061,26.368906455862977,7.898369717300924,1.5957018115942034,1470,56,290,23,33,475,178,368,0.096,0.804,0.101,0.4142,1,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,4,1,0,2,10,20,3,3,16,0,34,9,1,4,3,52,67,25,0,3,10,0,2,2,5,5,7,4,1,0,23,16,2,0,12,1,1,4,11,8,0,4,15,10,59,12,35,42,8,26,0,1,4,1,53,11,0,4,12,209,82,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764767334380458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183458238000202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911448136047806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706597066108643,0.2579380606365004,0.0,0.0,0.1906904793806063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145132988058403,0.0,0.2027024493117622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449269255284822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405733987985721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495408141226177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086437775952053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557954030892947,0.06045728601652981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198337376551403,0.0,0.0,0.3269116471275305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480952677379731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671025664512976,0.0,0.08995415726726268,0.0,0.0,0.05672345058525177,0.0,0.0848874164320664,0.0,0.08334019020331958,0.0,0.09059456465058237,0.0,0.0,0.08832822180349638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930171724725882,0.06898200370477442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653646943945288,0.11954859211748692,0.08268859986344151,0.0,0.07472687045112976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389308013059346,0.0763788434752841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436643256899124,0.0,0.0,0.17056749036600438,0.0,0.08544877851104164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065269279126524,0.08173293286246758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057345199039121074,0.06436237047173445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289463396230267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001084480402315,0.0,0.0,0.2710699516167813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609986212104965,0.1345969960001341,0.0,0.0,0.2023094179011304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340774894564826,0.0651497192521702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387905234785627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975960337523265,0.0,0.12725739744886946,0.06801968480937699,0.07396741036087283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05622217693864808,0.10845066317593276,0.0,0.26873638593912313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086437775952053,0.0,0.11491186227464965,0.09204947934899176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309024259964537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717268499881666,0.0678823831909891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448261744790304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lostminddd,2018/03/24,"What is this, please read. Scared. Doesn't feel like OCD. No idea what is it. :( So basically for 7 months now I am suffering from hopefully Suicide-OCD, I was diagnosed with OCD 2 times, and 1 time the doctor said it might be adjustment disorder but it does not describe my symptoms well.

So basically, it all started after reading about Chester Bennington's suicide, about 7 months ago, then I started having intrusive thoughts about it, then I googled it, started reading about depression, then I had a major panic attack, to the point of vomitting.(Yes, I know this is a typical trigger for OCD and this is how it usually starts, I had OCD episode 5 years ago, but can't remember exactly if it was the same.) Anyway, here is what happens.

**My symptoms are:**

- Knot in the stomach when it is bad, always.

- Butterflies like in the stomach when I am good.

- Obsessive thinking.(Don't know if it is obsesssive though, It is like I get intrusive thought or feeling, then I the knot in the stomach appear and I start thinking about possible diagnoses etc. And the thought keeps feeling real. I am irritable in those moments. (I know it sounds like OCD, so far, but **don't jump to conclusions yet.**)

'Life is meaningless' feeling. It is not like the depression feeling. More like the existential way, but still doesn't feel existential. It feels kind of synthetic. It is based on few things:

-Dark high contrast, low brightness pics of my future, not consious, like stuck in the back of my head, can't see them clearly, they are random, for example at the moment it is like me standing at the bus stop in my university, the image is drone like. And other weird stuff.

- It is usually triggered when I imagine doing something nice or just living a normal life, like a lost feeling? I don't know how to describe it.

- It is like in the end of life nothing happens.(I know it is irrational it is ****ing weird and always accompanied with anxiety.

- Like a flat life feeling. Again, not emptiness like depression.

- Like lost and scared feeling. (Dark Images in the back of my head, like me in 3rd person working in the future or just walking on the street feeling lost and everything feels darker and anxious. Accompanied with those intrusive thoughts. **Can't tell if they are thoughts, it is like a feeling**

- It is strongly connected to working.
Other symptoms include:

**Other symptoms:*

- Irritability when it is bad.

- Sudden feeling of trapped in life, like I want to escape, but there is no escape.

- Sudden feeling like everything I see is too much. Looking at my room for example. Like overload?

- Feeling like if I work in the future I will do it.(For example my mother told me that I can start working at a store and instant images of me working then at the end of working I do it, it is like if i work for a week I will do it. It is terrifying. It comea with a knot in the stomach and mood drop. <---- THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

- Feeling like if this condition is gone and I continue to live a normal life I will do it. It almost feel like I want these things to be there, but at the same time I am terrified of them, but at the same time I am terrified of them leaving.

- Feeling like a dark cloud is setting over my future and I can't see my usual future because of those pictures and feelings, again ALWAYS accompanied with anxiety.(Again, not quite like the depression thing.)

- In the morning, before I fully woke up I am in this weird half-awake condition when those feelings and thoughts like attack me? But at the same time it feels super real, like me. Then I can't go back to sleep, I stanf up, make coffee and those things usually last about hours, then I get almost to my normal self. However, when it is bad, it is bad all day and I have multiple times through the day when I feel normal for a couple of mins, then it hits again.

- Doubt if I want it or not and extreme confusion over it. It is more like 'I want it but I am pretending not to.', 'I don't want to admit it', 'Don't fully realise it.' And when this is there it feel legit, like I really want it BECAUSE of those feelings, which is horrific. It feels 100% like me.

- I am avoiding asking myself if I want to do it or if I want to die because:
- When I do it it feels like I do which is making everything worse.
- Or I say no, but with extreme anxiety and then yes appears and feels 100% like me which is scary.

- Gets worse after an arguing. Hits hard and my anxiety goes up all the way. (I thought It was BPD , but I researched a lot and it does not sound like me.)

It seems to have a cycle:

**When I am feeling okay:**
Bad in the morning.
Then I feel fine, then in the afternoon it hits and my mood drops, then usually at midnight I feel okay.

**When it is bad:**
The whole day is bad and I have minutes when I feel okay, then it hits again.

The most scary thing in this condition are **the urges**.

They almost everytime come without any reason or 
after days of worrying, it induces a panic attack in which everything hits at once.

Urges:

When I am close to dangerous objects.(Power sockets, high buildings, medications, etc. You get it.(I know it sounds like OCD, but still, wait, **don't jump to conclusions yet**.)

Urges are caused by thoughts like:

'Cmon, it will be so easy.'(This one is terrifying.)

'Life is meaningless anyway'

'I want to do it.'

'Why don't just give up.'(And it feels super real like I am about to give up.)

Etc. Etc. Etc. 

I am terrified.

**Background description of the urges:**

So, they happen when I am feeling relatively okay, then I can tell it is probably OCD. HOWEVER, when it is bad or hits bad out of nowhere here is how it feels like:
Like a flat life feeling, with the things, I mentioned before. And the scariest thing is that it feels like 1000% like me and like a decision. 

It is terrifying. I can only tell that it was not me when I am fine, but then, it hits again. 

**The scary thing is that it feels like I have anxiety because I want it and resist it or because I know it is not right**

**The second scary thing is that I can't tell if intrusive suicidal thoughts trigger feelings(good.) Or the feelings trigger real suicidal thoughts.**(**bad.**)

Here is how it happens and what it looks like:

**03.03.2018:**

I am watching a TV show, feeling relatively fine, when I decide to see if the feeling is in background. I suddenly get a thought like 'I can't continue living.' With a very ****ing real feeling like I really don't and all of those feelings hit. It feels horrific. I am immediately not sleepy, In highly self aware state, with like racing thoughts(not exactly.) I feel the knot in the stomach, it feels real, I immediately turn off the show on my phone and message a person who has the same thing as me at the moment. I stand up and go to the kitchen to smoke a ciggarete. **IT STILL FEELS SUPER REAL AND 100% LIKE ME** I light my ciggarete and my vision crosses arround the power socket on the wall as soon as I see it thought like 'I want to do it' appear or 'It is pointless' I can't remember the thought exactly it felt super fast. After this a feeling like I want to give up appears like I am about to do it. An urge to look back at the power socket appears. I open reddit and start to write this topic. As I am writing I calm down and it feels less real and turns into 'background' again. As I am writing I have mini hits lasting a few seconds which makes it real again. As I wrote this sentence the same thing happened.


**Panic attacks:**
Basically the same thing, but in more intense way. More intense urges. 
Etc. Etc. I am even not sure if it is a panic attack or something worse.

**After a panic attack I calm down, but the next few days it is so ****ing bad.** 

So I have researched a lot about this topic and they are several diagnosis I want to mention and to say few things about them:

I am extremely scared that it is **suicidal depression.** However I looked at the symptoms here is what I get:

- Hopelessness (I am not sure about this, I can't tell if the meaningless thing is hopelessness. And as soon as I mentioned hopelessness I felt like I am feeling hopeless which gives me knot in the stomach.)

- Worthlessness - I don't have it.

- Guilt - I sometimes have it over the thoughts.

- Sadness - I don't have it.

- Emptiness - I don't have it.

- Depressed mood - Can't tell.

- Lost in interest in usual activites. (I can't tell if I get this, I tend to only research or reread articles about this topic when I am feeling bad, and I am not able to do nothing else. I tend to have moments when I don't want to go out because of this knot in the stomach and the other stuff, I 'preffer' to be at home and reading stuff.)

- Tiredness - After a long day when it is bad, yes.

- Oversleeping - I usually sleep about 8 to 9 hours.

- Low self esteem - I don't have it.

- Feeling burden - I don't have it.

- Lost of apetite - When the knot in the stomach is there, yes, like my stomach is sick.

- Suicidal thoughts (As you probably read already, I get this, however, in depression, it is associated with relief, fantasies, and CONSIOUS THINKING.(As I am typing this I feel like it is giving me relief and like I feel consious about it, which makes the condition worse - the knot in the stomach gets worse. 

**Told my psychiatrist and psychologist about it, they said it is not depression** However I am not sure.

My next fear is **Bipolar Affective Disorder Type 2**:

Bipolar is known to cause depression and hypomania.
I looked at the symptoms of mania and hypomania.
I asked most of my friends and family if they seen any of the symptoms(I showed them a list of the symtpoms.) In me and they dismissed it.
I also analysed my mood and actions while I am fine. 

I tend to do the things I usually do, for the same time. 

I don't sleep less. 

I don't talk faster. 

I am not easily distracted.

I don't do reckless stuff. 
And most importantly my mood does not change completely from the bad mood. Also it tends to change during the day. 

**The thing which is worrying me is that I am more irritable than usual.**

Anxiety symptoms which I have:

- Irritability.

- Sweating and BAD sweat smell, worse than usual.(My hands sweat when I am bad, however they were always sweating since I am young so I don't know if it fits there.

- Knot in the stomach.

- Derealisation.(Sometimes.)

- Restlessness.

- Faster highrate.

- Headaches sometimes.

- Unsettledness

** ! ! IMPORTANT ! ! ! The feeling about working is worrying me the most, sometimes it is almost gone some times it is hard. It is like everytime I thought about working It floods me with anxiety and the thoughts come and it feels like if I work I will feel overwhelmed and do it. Which is fucking terrifying. And it feels REAL.  ! ! ! IMPORTANT ! ! !**

I am sure that I missed something. Feel free to ask questions if you have. Thanks in advance and have a good night.",1.153639559879931,3.797088393362621,2.5913446644174267,88.68961345039837,92.10395314787701,5.727959964155778,24.031954571199588,7.215633439461797,1.390360959502229,8334,352,1600,153,299,2693,512,2049,0.24,0.659,0.1,-0.9999,10,3,4,0,0,7,481.0,0,3,14,26,90,163,9,17,108,7,192,45,21,17,12,337,383,166,6,37,68,1,64,56,1,6,22,7,3,5,181,76,1,4,101,11,2,18,52,69,1,3,40,86,199,89,186,324,40,239,0,25,13,1,59,81,1,54,187,1122,380,21,0.01660283009156029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029434814237447343,0.0,0.06650134425143912,0.0,0.01832163586156073,0.026554554451566938,0.05525953864466486,0.0,0.0,0.022580987595128436,0.0,0.0762067174565956,0.01875647219576509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465642147548773,0.11332869654914478,0.0,0.051066206035478366,0.2218027140124259,0.06072558673150603,0.0,0.028255571103399976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0209106832906997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03411135992813193,0.03512718556032662,0.028603736017668326,0.01740775146893968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018370715705436132,0.0,0.07495216323834829,0.0,0.12869993906546065,0.03370304611221168,0.017231116386219013,0.0,0.038056563373340895,0.01699370012086075,0.05811699399048804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01386953411287337,0.0,0.029410358960137193,0.0,0.12961581018413726,0.0109660126904557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968621251852011,0.0,0.015651670596284764,0.018682799714530303,0.4952984954576692,0.18977704215700775,0.03188264111868255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012827305343638726,0.01534904888520764,0.07806864119669116,0.0796347374504748,0.028307312860209963,0.04177699849458738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340913909139178,0.0,0.029745749267722638,0.0,0.03407858718107648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05262540465107832,0.01665399229385597,0.01649035648358171,0.0327008865094939,0.0,0.0,0.018742574269947108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01475735823934135,0.0,0.017289292628030486,0.07299584973442905,0.027067044949670202,0.0,0.017579999807545824,0.0,0.0,0.09381655918150282,0.4542330319181235,0.0,0.043981809446387236,0.014692982170436781,0.06971097873650646,0.0,0.0906197515616482,0.028230264842043887,0.0,0.0,0.04433007203682009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016725604610932466,0.0,0.01761297900366221,0.0,0.0,0.0265044411576897,0.0,0.012204990463411395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0353145963147502,0.015580631334374172,0.0650689935004828,0.03186172650731175,0.0,0.0,0.01768147218975545,0.011250507354661295,0.025254400873617817,0.0,0.09739921916431493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028993901669880494,0.0,0.018224921704229798,0.015695040945466653,0.01871719630717279,0.0,0.0,0.0358013178960302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018598969438715262,0.017659153485125995,0.08303661526587593,0.1889765546628166,0.02127239619283059,0.017070474531570932,0.0,0.0,0.03761553993088024,0.014178726181870088,0.031586186853817234,0.02640647375522712,0.049866987926337925,0.0,0.06615153003657613,0.015114592956667353,0.0519611181845845,0.01875647219576509,0.0,0.013734032620650816,0.0,0.049844461370676524,0.0,0.0,0.03834500923611548,0.06568249397527721,0.0,0.08226098015172717,0.0,0.03977712467360996,0.013880709382063624,0.0,0.0,0.07602507305015631,0.09080400685900086,0.0,0.06259188349948927,0.12079688302663515,0.0,0.013344725923569974,0.101581237095677,0.015285655287737097,0.0,0.0,0.17648292118384767,0.010638423129775462,0.0163121962677853,0.21089268061729904,0.0774499499424928,0.0,0.0,0.031729431302276935,0.0,0.0,0.036118223033878835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285671715686208,0.013699073614566964,0.13709891093495855,0.03953566118565432,0.013317788832176743,0.0,0.014927938172048925,0.0,0.029962943505218286,0.018536466875982358,0.0,0.016004535734890656,0.0,0.12087058045407925,0.050582939635592114,0.101518213696541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.010691678233798014
mentalhealth,iamthemasterpiece,2018/03/24,"I broke up with my girlfriend and now have unexpected problems Hello, reddit. 
I want to sorry in advance for my English. I am a foreigner.

I broke up with my girlfriend after 4 years relationships.
She went to another country in September to study.
I came to visit her once in january, but eventually we broke up at the last week.

All this time after her leaving i was nervous about everything that going on in this situation and often was not too good with her. Eventually, as far as i know, she found someone there and leaved me.

I love her so much and i'm very frustrated about it.

Honestly, rational part of my mind tells me that there are more pluses than minuses in this situation. And i agree with that.

But now i'm encountering problem, that worry me more and more.

My brain can't stop thinking about how she having sex with this guy. I am jerking off twice a day (sometimes thrice) and thinking about this scenes.
 
It's annoying me, but i can't do anything about it. I never had same problems before. 

I'm start thinking that i'm crazy and need a doctor.

   


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mentalhealth,stevie-with-a-gun,2018/03/24,"My mom won't let me leave therapy I'm 21 and live with my parents. 
I struggle with real bad anxiety but I definitely don't want to keep seeing my therapist.
Since i was like 10 or 11 I was kinda forced to go, without being told what It really was for at the time so I wouldn't get scared. Then growing up and slowly learning its purpose I've left and gone back some times.
I'm saying this so you see my mom is very used to having me go there... Every time she sees I'm not okay she immediately thinks of a therapist.
Now since I've discovered that my previous therapist broke the confidentiality pact that she had to hold with me as her patient by law by constantly talking to my mom I feel like my last counselling was forced as well... Among other things,she wanted information from my mom because she felt I wasn't very honest.

This new therapist I'm seeing says she would never do that and I think I trust her..
As a grown up, however, I would like to take my own decisions on this matter which is that I do not want to see a therapist because I am not ready to tell her everything and cooperate with her but if I don't I would get very bitter about the money I spend and waste on it...

However there is no way to convince her, if I told her this decision of mine, and I am not exaggerating, she would totally freak out and panic because she says she's found a good one and if I lose contact with her then I'm like very doomed. 

I know my issues cause pain to her as well but for the love of God I'm her daughter and I expect more help from family and friends rather than a professional, theoretically.

Now I have half a mind to lie to her, to pretend I'm going when I'm not... With the bonus of keeping for my self the money she gives me to see my therapist. I'm not proud of the latter part, and it's the thing that mostly gets in my way, but I can't exactly throw the money away, right?

Can anyone relate or does anyone have any suggestions? 



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mentalhealth,brooker500,2018/03/24,"I have a Mental health awareness idea - criticisms, opinions, advice and guidance needed Idea: 

To create an Instagram account, where people can send in:

1. Positive stories about how they are battling mental health and are winning- either told by themselves or told anonymously through myself

2. Stories about people have gone above and beyond (and there are a lot of them) to support and help people with mental health


Why: 

A family member of mine has suffered from a number of different types of mental health over the years. The other day she spoke to someone older than her who had faced similar challenges, and it had an incredibly positive impact, hearing a positive story from someone who is battling and winning.

I know that mental health can make people feel very isolated, so if there were a place where people could watch videos of people who have been through similar challenges, I think this could potentially be a very positive thing.


How you can help:

1. Please comment if you have any feedback on my idea, positive or negative. Before I do this, I want to get people’s views :) 

2. If you have any positive stories either about people winning in their battles with mental health or about people who go above and beyond (whom you wish to thank) to support people with mental health, I would love to hear them. Either message me on here or leave a comment

Thanks for reading about my idea and I welcome any feedback or support you have for this.

Brooker


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mentalhealth,Pirate_Frank,2018/03/24,"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? So, a little background (which will probably be a lot of background, I can get long-winded when I'm manic [which I am right now {which should be apparent by my overuse of brackets}]):

I have bipolar disorder type 1, general anxiety, and an obnoxious and uncommon sleeping disorder called delayed sleep phase disorder. If you look that last disorder up you will sometimes see instances of people using it irresponsibly as an excuse for just being sleepy sometimes, but mine is a clinically observed irregularity that has affected me my whole life and lead me to generally sleep significantly less than the average person in order to maintain common human hours (probably a lifetime average around 4 hours a night).

As I lay awake at night as a child waiting desperately for sleep to come I began to just start thinking. I began envisioning branching chains of cause and effect, endless scenarios of projection and response. My critical thinking skills developed rapidly, and I was advanced throughout primary school. I became so obsessed with this, due to spending all of my time doing it, that I could barely communicate. I couldn't speak as fast as my mind moved. On top of all that, I have bipolar I and all the delightful quirks that come with that (though it took them a while to figure that one out).

So here's the thing. This will probably come across as rationalizing, but, even so, expressing it candidly is the way I feel I can share where my mind is truly at right now. Years of speech therapy, trauma, and heartbreak later I broke through and made my way into the professional world. 

I've been in my career about seven years now, and recently I've picked up a new skill. While I don't have the issues with obsessive visualization that I used to, and I long ago learned the techniques necessary to translate the disorganization in my mind into something that is usually comprehensible, I realized recently that I can adapt this old obsession into something that resembles a savvy business mind. However, along with this adaptation has come some bad old habits. Overeating, overspending, weird relationship stuff, etc.

Because I've tapped into this old obsession I'm falling down the hole of the aforementioned vices, but at the same time my life has never gone smoother. My wife and I are on the same page mentally and emotionally (though unfortunately not sexually), I'm using my obsessive thoughts to visualize new ideas that are getting me a lot of attention at work and I actually may be in line for increased responsibility soon.

My concern is that this is all built on bad habits, and because of that something will eventually have to give. It is hard to try to make changes to my life when it is, literally, going better than it ever has, but I'm worried I'm setting myself up for failure by using those bad habits as an unsustainable crutch. 

I'm also worried that there's too much performance in my persona. To speak up as I have been and promote ideas that even contraindicate some much higher pay grade opinions, I've had to use a lot of emotional energy. It is like I'm putting on a show, then I have to go back behind the scenes to catch my breath. I'm even getting to the point where if I'm not careful my mind gets too far ahead of my speech and I just shut down for a slightly-too-long amount of time.

Since I am harnessing the power of my unique oddity, am I actually being the true self that has always been within that I have just never been willing to share, or am I playing a dangerous game I am destined to lose? 

So... yeah. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

*Thing I have tried already:
    *Sleep specialist
       *A portion of the people with this disorder do not respond to the traditional light therapy treatment. I am in this portion. I won the lottery. Woo-hoo...
    *Psychologist
       *I've tried a dedicated psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychologist/psychiatrist, but they are never able to provide any insight that I hadn't already considered (beyond whatever new medication to try). I do manage my conditions with medication, but it is managed through my primary care physician
    *Talking to family/spouse
        *I do this a lot, I'm always open to anyone who will listen as long as I'm not too depressed, but it is sort of hard for any of them to understand where I'm coming from. My wife's life has been mostly blessed, and my family is tough, crude, and insensitive. I struggle to find people with a viewpoint that isn't either naive or reductive to advise me.
        ",6.9806702778979,8.011565341375151,7.434434758859277,69.62062908255002,64.46441495778046,10.792188815804447,35.66563488631449,10.737107425149642,4.121382210892868,3624,166,611,94,53,1189,375,829,0.125,0.787,0.08800000000000001,-0.9753,3,0,3,0,0,0,111.0,0,2,3,14,35,29,2,6,41,1,71,17,6,12,9,121,119,54,0,6,21,2,3,1,0,9,11,5,0,4,49,40,0,2,14,4,2,16,11,18,0,2,15,11,71,11,110,87,24,107,1,4,2,0,26,42,0,14,46,436,120,14,0.053386372416071116,0.0,0.10419479680256134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732379799745811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782637899476373,0.042693062733166975,0.08884347708659557,0.0,0.0,0.1089136918189335,0.0,0.04084042877336727,0.0,0.0,0.037328992888303214,0.0,0.0,0.04752519001853378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105082504385344,0.1337261730514615,0.06508767422088621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721590800447801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451345519107683,0.0,0.10886192938678403,0.054842510424400664,0.05647570323583899,0.22993816341987275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262467428557245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045981604334144235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059270398360824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010496671759938,0.0,0.0,0.0595399172941402,0.10578358644583567,0.0482910302778385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050327920648400866,0.0,0.02699375397457617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879417721260509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156870458453556,0.05121307304045965,0.06068141146697668,0.0,0.0,0.05885866405916946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564740706519377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051496459280728,0.0,0.0,0.12053343249231975,0.0,0.055721502587379367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435170189033065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854186830036535,0.026081884912660783,0.05350717026416717,0.0,0.1889810384682229,0.044831107128028215,0.05972569502838423,0.0,0.18154873885359865,0.0,0.050515476408569335,0.0356358181397032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756230735591207,0.05380090678660025,0.0,0.2695250869809168,0.0,0.0,0.05674126509010821,0.07849025288110302,0.0,0.1235245847182117,0.1546826734529535,0.0,0.10019898804086803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806005188860207,0.0,0.03617598759930754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111034165986394,0.04661492118533512,0.0,0.0,0.050467377933723336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726786168059858,0.0,0.0,0.05366804969315527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076537957383282,0.0,0.0,0.1054252043618258,0.05731698468272362,0.0,0.09118334069028328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402985904745987,0.04254202685867129,0.0,0.05569362956515524,0.0,0.0,0.04416175894212434,0.0,0.2671246370787995,0.0,0.0,0.12329831312419134,0.10560097481100468,0.0,0.03778714917424598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581102787345051,0.061114623838706514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042909943908192666,0.0,0.0,0.12210393905253647,0.0,0.0709350672704468,0.06841566359396062,0.10490367968274393,0.042382816382694026,0.09339006923293637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059314224093644924,0.1449833699879604,0.0,0.0,0.055577096456675384,0.0,0.2305434242290561,0.05879754684641845,0.0,0.0,0.08475123498556883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960397826527181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03886591494752651,0.10843290524941204,0.0,0.037924147234523,0.0,0.0,0.06875814698995103
mentalhealth,Hnrefugee,2018/03/24,"I need help finding reality please hi all



i'mben...



my age is 34, i had these weird dreams of being in an accident and having my loving family and moving to the uS.  An accident occured in dec 2016, but this feels exactly like teh dreams, idon't like it, because those dreams always ended wiht me bing in a cold dark place... maybe its hell, because it's been soooo many years and I canot go through it again, 📷 now, if i erase myself, i'lll just wake up in the past.

am i in hell? is this the eternal torment the bible told about?

i've been trying for the past hundred years to make this dream my reality, but when I'm at last feeling okay, I get sent back to the past, to the very beginning of it all.

so, I either try and ""live"" here or I try to die, either way i'm going back :\(",2.3274711538461546,3.771172612500002,3.88625,89.12144230769233,76.0,6.6730769230769225,21.68269230769231,7.321109707123232,0.5884711538461542,598,15,130,7,13,199,106,160,0.129,0.713,0.158,-0.1494,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,0,9,7,2,0,10,1,8,2,1,1,3,19,21,10,1,2,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,3,4,0,4,0,3,0,0,5,3,14,4,17,15,4,28,2,0,0,1,6,8,2,2,17,79,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407013029114376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477926187793817,0.0,0.1964424007096483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672238368703996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271022720800766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189569566343514,0.0,0.1629407686910326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726667417500558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418193012348697,0.0,0.18314377168508045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799967618199917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133957799877094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743650848202267,0.0,0.14227762464285906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454229296239431,0.0,0.10755316963483312,0.16335695038910122,0.16187319559666566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125193774440647,0.0,0.11947323559263863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4614403412596455,0.0,0.0,0.1683428667256374,0.17686847826536362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396324663926134,0.0,0.3281828887458248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938153039666065,0.0,0.0,0.13294621196047818,0.0,0.127894691759705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075203273850972
mentalhealth,Clownier,2018/03/24,"Car Accident Negatively Affected my Confidence I will keep the details of my car accident short because they are not the purpose. Let's just say it was an accident in which all paramedics were surprised I was alive.

I escaped with no broken bones, some deep tissue damage, and a concussion.

The problem I'm having is that I've been a confident guy for a while. Almost arrogant. I am constantly in pain, nothing serious but aches and pains frequently. I am feeling a little bit like my confidence is lowered as a result of the constant reminders of my own mortality.",6.604821428571434,7.932092586538463,7.450439560439563,68.10884615384616,65.44230769230771,11.32747252747253,39.85714285714286,11.20814326018867,5.192575824175825,455,26,72,14,7,152,77,104,0.215,0.612,0.173,-0.431,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,0,10,0,12,3,1,2,1,14,15,5,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,4,2,10,2,8,9,4,11,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324962501458039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415356973797654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25348208144699713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018114705140885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739795097682112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22989620478352565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063735998919088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374213313202395,0.0,0.11343216098225987,0.2327068757275264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227844269767775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941150069735928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216635441688015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464006094225768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phdinexisting,2018/03/24,"Depressed tonight thanks to shit doctor Had appointment today with doc to finally get on meds. Been waiting for this appointment for literally half a year. Counting down the days. Finally it got here. Doc ends up being a condescending asshole and does not take the time to listen to my concerns/fears regarding medication, blatantly pushes a medication on me that I expressed extreme discomfort about (it is very bad for people with bipolar, which I have). Even after I expressed clearly and rationally my reasons for not wanting to take it he refused to prescribe any other medications claiming either that I “probably couldn’t afford them” or that they didn’t even exist, and I was wrong about them being an option. I looked it up again after the appointment and those medications do in fact exist and are commonly prescribed. I feel so disappointed and disgusted and hopeless. I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life. Today was going to be the day that I finally got to start meds again. Just wtf. Now I have to try and find a different doctor because there’s no way I can go back to him after this. ",6.60379530916844,8.173551572139303,7.151574271499642,69.3610074626866,65.61691542288557,10.120966595593464,34.75515280739161,10.290406445055957,3.9951660270078175,890,41,141,22,14,292,127,201,0.185,0.789,0.026,-0.9869,2,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,3,0,14,9,2,1,9,0,15,9,1,1,4,28,30,11,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,13,10,0,2,4,0,0,3,6,8,0,1,8,4,18,1,28,18,1,32,0,3,1,0,9,7,1,2,21,109,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168471429152786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092363729274185,0.10029394887437952,0.07322313637304624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493301961886555,0.0,0.10345790735690713,0.0,0.0,0.1254982900142848,0.0,0.2458927951278594,0.105116528442264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638935780596087,0.0,0.0,0.15867430239949126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516673266996376,0.06073553409799309,0.0,0.11533261863182427,0.3947519099227153,0.1097861533698084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275697026009301,0.0,0.1365322488579426,0.0,0.1921395108450274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848432647185076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086930621763918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26684919927276085,0.4840270969518891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264280956944568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327505911997729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295080833500966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350184676891615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329993712406268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502050842205626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806283598644479,0.0,0.0,0.11058899702039232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700420763960576,0.0,0.22771662834548484,0.0,0.0,0.08155259194255858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911036083345813,0.07084901669236705,0.09534449204732852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133074775481535,0.0,0.0773523902039742
mentalhealth,AsianTigerMilf,2018/03/24,Smoking weed and seeing trails means schizophrenia? Tonight my fiancé mentioned to a friend that he sees trails whenever he smokes weed. We tried to look into this and all we came up with online is schizophrenia. Has anyone else ever experienced this? ,5.3246511627906985,8.79066239534884,3.680279069767444,83.99437209302326,76.20930232558139,5.300465116279072,24.879069767441862,6.742157984588678,1.216873488372094,205,7,31,2,5,58,35,43,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.5514,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,10,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,5,6,1,5,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,2,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276213362350109,0.3264281191025486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643765219960417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661370000519258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881784936378276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461380847491785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267531275392982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470326080709138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077422099258072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629839395267694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justsomegem,2018/03/24,"Really lost on my mental health right now? I know I sound stupid/crazy, but I cant get rid of this feeling that I'm going to die soon. Not that I want to kill myself or anything (seems like a lot of effort), but I just feel like Im going to die young and not get to experience university, first love, or anything like that. 

Also, I don't want to kill myself but wouldnt mind dying????? Like Im so confused by these intense feelings. 

One more thing, I've been acting pretty weird for the past few months. Like I wont be hungry for 3 days, and then randomly just devour everything. Or if something is making noise near me, it'll drive me absolutely insane, to the point where I have to pinch myself to not yell at them. I also have been getting angry really quickly and I dont know why. 

I cant really talk to my parents about this stuff because I dont think they would understand. 

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks :) ",3.3185023041474646,4.5748494677419345,4.626912442396313,85.55322580645165,73.13978494623656,7.249769585253457,22.425499231950845,7.7094869923839395,0.8837370199692782,715,17,147,9,14,237,117,186,0.223,0.634,0.14300000000000002,-0.9604,1,0,1,0,0,2,29.0,0,0,2,3,10,12,2,1,3,0,16,2,0,1,0,32,36,14,5,5,12,1,3,5,0,4,1,2,0,0,9,3,0,0,8,0,0,4,10,5,0,2,3,5,21,7,18,28,3,19,0,1,0,1,5,6,0,8,14,94,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321067335612575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852959616218557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878433468808621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100744231966303,0.0,0.1906750744837524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062320206369117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747159060159346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607128434136649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138415528379954,0.0,0.2715588159559841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041216316052049,0.1133269275111528,0.0,0.0,0.17573699145565533,0.08276574453633694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854490527926216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815859745068943,0.0,0.13168439754042055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231468246577947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502832636277525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563494063653273,0.0,0.12734007828690358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830007755596987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646775179885145,0.09849448011426752,0.10456228295341996,0.0,0.07733309310282939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675305214641145,0.0,0.1169789820081118,0.0,0.0924731371509456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785053118785321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864157186211872,0.0,0.11059524944171237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951897950270574,0.0,0.0,0.11786463251015285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22265610494845195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893823325992844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105468651019424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918966390196383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262450932752598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311863345694713,0.0,0.10666231288976932,0.0,0.0,0.07696789982449123,0.07423422778820588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060755158811695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666676052736546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453973987677176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229898349563197,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wickawickawacha,2018/03/24,"Does the ADA actually help those of us with mental illness? I have diagnosed psychotic depression, social phobia, and panic disorder. They’re impairing my ability to perform my job (just little things like my flat affect and monotone voice and occasional panic attacks) and my doctor thinks I should “disclose” them. Does it help? I’m trying my best but it’s just not good enough. ",5.664676616915423,8.403833701492538,6.200820895522393,70.49486318407959,70.19402985074626,9.242786069651741,30.56965174129353,9.725611199111238,3.6228129353233833,306,13,45,8,6,99,53,67,0.208,0.665,0.127,-0.7234,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,2,2,7,1,2,1,0,2,3,0,1,0,12,4,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,9,3,3,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,29,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.1889923970245489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032573546429826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032430111985588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680628762319702,0.1965693239621814,0.0,0.0,0.22196073641874825,0.19822778826886453,0.3389610001834555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001112022198004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243984443638795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259623658849017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921859786909067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461658546928528,0.19410659028181013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517217073634047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544562198165616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974205191034928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286646628040625,0.12409487472919507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148811391533954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329592093959061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MaleficentCoconut,2018/03/24,"I acted like I was possessed on drugs when I was younger and went crazy for a year When I was a freshman into highschool I made some friends smoking weed outside the school wood's trails. I ended up making a few very shady ""friends"". I was 14, smoking weed all day, skipping school, and slowly getting into other worst substances. I was Snorting adderal and Concerta drinking alcohol taking perc 30's, tried crystal meth a few times, would mix speed with klonopins and valium, and pretty much taking anything I could get my hands on.

At this time i was pretty much wasted 24/7. This is where the ""possession"" story comes into play I guess. What all started out as a joke turned into something very fucked up really quickly (and no I'm not claiming to be possessed I was psychotic). 

I would occasional play this ""exorcist"" type prank on my friends, well it was more of a funny sort of acting thing. At first it was like the funniest thing in the world then it got pretty fucked up really quickly. It all started out as a joke and then all of a sudden I was acting like I was really possessed, like it got dark, really dark. My friend's didn't think it was funny anymore and would tell me to stop.

All of a sudden, I realilzed I couldn't stop. It was like I had tourettes it was a light switch in my brain and I could go on ""auto-pilot"" and act like I was possessed. My so called ""friend"" even recorded a video of it and showed everyone in school.

During this time I finally decided enough is enough and I quit everything and distanced my self from my so called ""friends"". I changed schools, started getting good grades, and stayed away from all drugs. I noticed that my little ""possessed"" sessions dramatically reduced and it was like my friends were my ""possessed"" trigger. 

A couple months I felt back to normal. I have never had a ""twitch"" or ""exorcist"" moment sense then. It's been about 8 years now. But I look back sometimes and shudder with how fucked up the whole situation was and I'm afraid I'm going to go back to that ""possessed drug me"".
This is my deepest darkest secret and I plan to take this one to the grave.

**Do you guys think I'm crazy or that I just *was* crazy?**
",3.7464285714285737,5.672982690476192,4.092857142857145,87.09214285714287,73.28571428571428,6.609523809523811,27.23809523809524,7.33818517376401,1.4216380952380954,1710,64,329,19,35,534,203,420,0.09,0.77,0.14,0.9495,1,0,8,0,0,0,67.0,0,1,0,3,16,26,3,1,19,0,35,11,2,4,7,60,66,31,1,7,5,0,2,7,7,3,5,0,0,2,24,27,2,2,5,7,0,9,5,6,1,2,28,5,43,20,40,31,16,64,0,1,1,3,14,23,3,5,38,221,67,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883308010829718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731557347675423,0.0,0.0,0.06070287075511015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693052861285807,0.17016376771677974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234689649780494,0.15064601692599291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803431020609916,0.06354260308224212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779178885986955,0.08162032370080555,0.0,0.047572762182114224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226228512937707,0.2566343149825456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533449912822263,0.15243933590962072,0.0,0.048721537029571424,0.0,0.0,0.0704862699760786,0.06629583822903418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082662238830023,0.08080669861030285,0.0,0.06274505112886533,0.0,0.0,0.3989382786174944,0.20458555212512788,0.11561857228876544,0.0,0.12576821043867226,0.061871153979542015,0.11799430847864573,0.0,0.0812612147547249,0.07303962225813643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522673020421893,0.07393259195389561,0.0,0.0,0.06194459422492653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979887155745346,0.04923916530174437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058879063327931164,0.0,0.1084525272027482,0.0,0.056892641199042124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227470608049638,0.0,0.08398271747496243,0.0,0.0,0.049985534957357206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22513865244002895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845888243274482,0.0,0.0,0.18902473817466292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986192319691732,0.0,0.0,0.07695369365906288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291571683628668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056788425599843775,0.07295614533613327,0.0,0.15663518742672544,0.07862440180339131,0.0,0.12334282573711465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638783704691432,0.0,0.06447445711673758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801328229162908,0.09453214054817316,0.0,0.0,0.12904008653525487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008205573430819,0.08023587928723802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217288254579274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663242067062035,0.06838152591693462,0.0,0.0823567492386395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720307141155945,0.0,0.0,0.09500536096034844
mentalhealth,l0stgirl9,2018/03/24,"I (24f) am having a very difficult time coping with my major depression. Do you have any coping mechanisms that have worked for you? This is going to be pretty long so please be patient. 

Let me start off by saying that I’ve had a very traumatic life. Mental, physical and sexual abuse for many years during my teen years into my adult life. I finally left home at 18 and I have never looked back since. I always knew that I had issues with coping with my anger and my emotions. I was diagnosed with major depression earlier last year and it didn’t come as a surprise to me. I am currently on anti depressants and I have not had any suicidal thoughts. However, I still feel very low and very uninterested with life. I do not have a lot of friends and I work an office job that is not very fulfilling. 

How do I change my lifestyle to better my mental state? I have been trying to be more active and eat healthier. My doctor has told me that I will most likely have to be on anti depressants for the rest of my life. She also recommends therapy. 

How do you cope with your mental illness? Do you have any advice?",3.900878286798591,5.536182926267284,5.212198427758199,80.42905394415831,72.27188940092167,8.792518297641639,24.746272702629447,9.325443323948027,2.1102726484142047,873,26,165,20,17,291,124,217,0.16,0.746,0.094,-0.9482,3,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,5,0,3,6,11,1,0,6,0,31,8,0,2,1,27,39,13,1,0,3,0,1,1,1,1,7,1,1,1,7,16,1,0,3,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,9,3,32,4,23,24,6,22,0,5,1,0,10,7,0,2,13,121,39,4,0.0,0.12537802323964714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340494695453938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462328910510625,0.0880497528789516,0.0,0.0,0.21588132216941947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136815710320099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358816579629003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119423029500247,0.09115356188423847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645664515946759,0.10740389638539467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831006793324076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827909228706688,0.0,0.11903195356381305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535051856293286,0.0,0.0,0.11591936818990232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817553742439208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601392860705517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614492570060984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044737765228366,0.10500887181163172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625647905991092,0.0,0.0,0.11497248062462585,0.10820693460961564,0.29897190799953915,0.05169774071176076,0.0,0.0,0.09364634456908948,0.0888611754820266,0.0,0.0,0.08996339470124416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728369608938652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31992150932631985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161401388581062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161573108754576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765580409710687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415138980812856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753443897212243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489912047340228,0.0,0.0845070633028107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574863721922254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101306715678414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400833986208836,0.06170381729727,0.0,0.0,0.10111443756778038,0.0,0.07184404706805188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365581313262167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407475343219684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443159304691086
mentalhealth,tactical-moustache,2018/03/24,"I know I need psychiatric help but I don't even know where to start I have not had an easy go of the last four to five years, and honestly my early life was no picnic either. a quick glance through my post history might share a small piece of an overall large and twisted journey through the beginning of my adult life, and in the last year, I've noticed something isn't right. I've pushed it down and denied it for a very long time , but over the course of the past year I've started noticing and trying to come to terms with increasingly alarming mental health issues, not only through my own thoughts but through what the people around me tell me. I'm increasingly paranoid, to the point of arguing with my significant other constantly without valid reasoning, and I don't realize until much later how much of an idiot I'm being. I have mood swings like crazy. My dreams are in the same place every night, and they go on forever and ever before I wake up. I rarely want to get up from bed and the motivation to find a job has completely dissipated. I don't know where I found the angel that is my girlfriend, she works hard to support us and puts up with the problems that I'm having, but even that I know is simply enabling these symptoms. my doctor put me on lorazepam and escitalopram and metaprolol to try and stabilize whatever the issues I'm having are, but those add a whole new list of side effects: now, occasionally, I want to kill myself so strongly that I don't understand the intensity, it comes from nowhere. I have nasty thought about hurting others ( and had these before the medications) and the thoughts scare me, because they aren't something I'd act on at all. before a few months ago I wouldn't have a thought come into my head that made me wince, but now it happens almost every day. I keep wanting to go to a clinic where I can stay and they can run tests and ask me psychiatric questions and figure out what's wrong with me, but I don't even know where to start. I have state insurance. My doctor tries his best, but when drs on duty is your primary care provider, your psychiatric care doesn't necessarily fall top notch. all I want is to be able to access psychiatric care so I can figure out what's wrong with me and hopefully get better. any advice might help.",10.231870951669158,7.065018948430495,9.418624813153961,71.66761833582463,60.18834080717489,12.51200797209766,39.12755356253114,10.380263240014207,3.79172336821126,1825,64,354,29,18,580,232,446,0.122,0.7509999999999999,0.126,0.7206,1,0,2,0,0,1,38.0,1,2,3,8,18,21,3,2,26,0,33,11,2,5,3,82,74,32,1,8,12,0,1,1,1,3,9,0,1,1,17,32,0,2,19,1,0,15,13,9,0,2,9,2,48,11,53,60,14,71,1,1,1,0,17,26,0,5,28,235,65,7,0.07985508777139314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803346756215075,0.07078671712905285,0.0,0.07996333535952059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430419803218802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108795837830123,0.07465372742178643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048678920317313606,0.0,0.20385239426498267,0.0,0.08380298794867523,0.07062533577892224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442527521366454,0.0,0.0,0.20636426178707026,0.08372654022168206,0.08629498084121348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149992536596516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634701321676344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823059702520673,0.0722334986792795,0.13456271113818613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298610352615982,0.0,0.0,0.08755698199756032,0.0,0.0,0.08344197492670158,0.0,0.13615045992510771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061559039076565,0.0,0.07153447350543281,0.0,0.08195435824682916,0.0848822241087388,0.0,0.0,0.10705036412031582,0.0,0.0,0.07931412037080156,0.0,0.0,0.08548652306148566,0.0,0.0,0.16669592926038904,0.07924385277092676,0.07097887113086439,0.08834782310347851,0.0,0.21943133924097355,0.1301851093005452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280802017689252,0.03901316224881606,0.0,0.0,0.0706692397846179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755608148645383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044559974835659,0.08047514635647313,0.16942725746113713,0.0,0.0,0.06373956919714918,0.0,0.11740535551227095,0.05921153574234491,0.0,0.07712454137815958,0.0,0.07493859034145195,0.0,0.0,0.1818310934073783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073339265821441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762307170693183,0.055361463167441616,0.0,0.08343157043206467,0.0,0.07548886938937915,0.0,0.07647910009990974,0.0,0.0,0.07641053433205114,0.0,0.16055283866698053,0.08945597399933934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210433007507945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068195808635983,0.0,0.0,0.07994887369186036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295269586604632,0.0,0.0,0.16956552640941955,0.08511489850679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061860727737317,0.0,0.08300001216149057,0.0,0.0,0.06979686646766704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535840791624962,0.04656414385710414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264908831343924,0.0,0.0,0.08313196261094848,0.09605583829136097,0.0,0.0,0.06588881051273922,0.18840239896619865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915535370716933,0.0,0.07697745497617052,0.0,0.05813545496707935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461800523265145,0.0,0.15427217511864522
mentalhealth,Throwaway293002,2018/03/24,"I'm the most closed off person?!? Hi all,

Just back from a night out with friends and a topic of conversation really took me by surprise.

Went for drinks with friends and at about 11 we went our separate ways. Myself and a friend decided to go for one more before our bus home together and so headed to a different pub. During the conversation mental health came up and my friend told me about therapist he saw. Naturally I was interested and wanted to hear how his experience was and if the guy was worth setting up an appointment with (I have never gone to see anyone). In this conversation my friend said that the meeting wasn't much use as he felt you would be better having the sort of conversations he had with someone you cared about and can trust. We got talking about our close friends and he said, friend A is very open, friend B is closed off but I can tell by his actions/expressions etc how he feels but you are completely closed off.

That sort of took me aback. I don't disagree with him but I don't like the idea of being closed off to the people I really care about.

It's funny, I would always describe myself as a good listener but now that I think about it, I'm a ""good listener"" because I don't want to share any of my own problems and would just rather try and fix other people's. There's one particular issue that I have been dealing with that I have only told one random person on the street that I met after a night of too many drinks but even with a throwaway account I don't want to bring up here.

I think I need to see someone. Just knowing that they are there to listen to me unconditionally might help. It's not helpful internalising all of this.",5.314761904761905,5.847115421686747,5.858846815834769,81.21604417670684,67.97590361445782,8.97441193344808,27.556511761331038,8.976282227363876,1.9246776821572005,1328,39,269,22,21,430,173,332,0.042,0.8059999999999999,0.152,0.9856,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,5,3,1,1,20,19,0,0,18,0,26,4,1,3,3,65,61,22,0,10,11,0,2,1,8,4,1,6,1,3,13,28,2,0,7,3,2,8,7,1,0,3,20,11,36,18,49,35,7,34,0,0,3,0,49,18,0,6,7,185,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329689285478347,0.0,0.0,0.0599033675962519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061593698982403924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773480785555072,0.0,0.053698081614763145,0.0,0.0749570343333504,0.0,0.0,0.07790733689255143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075005768265696,0.17962469358219202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235937364343223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908156285927806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920339902591354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725868696062746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824223638247727,0.058181785583483435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616769595289812,0.0,0.0,0.044540316469027834,0.0,0.08457900978980427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5444571697547042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006286404388243,0.14776932067867754,0.07045261679459333,0.0,0.0,0.08722170728608683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040446643305156,0.09363421719549776,0.0992824182146088,0.0,0.11808805848510777,0.0,0.0883601940013666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944147141154376,0.0,0.0919417640728719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048411270778360736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303571149136227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930816180869383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877273671727115,0.0934482383710324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475536352504012,0.06531668858105373,0.06793947098819271,0.0,0.0,0.16533064061485986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907364101010514,0.06699546034389592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213928937206307,0.15383138956731307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428903274855082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286381195011612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758513808105668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039065046704768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927461631816205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080239684851547,0.07699344618994097,0.0,0.0,0.10227782290428088,0.0,0.11288742243052165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834514247112642,0.19573967479543647,0.05980647586189705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608039315085093,0.0,0.07268244039410914,0.15587107309730913,0.06992074594281117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331829910684995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18772715212947874,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,corndog54,2018/03/24,Any time I get into am argument or a stressful period in life I can't stop thinking of committing suicide. For the past 4 years I've noticed almost every time I feel stressed out or get into an argument I want to kill myself. Any friends I've ever told about this said I was just being a little bitch and I'm starting to think I am. I just want to know if this is normal or if anyone else can relate. I don't want to tell my parents about this as I don't want to to worry them so really I don't know what to do. ,3.355676359039194,3.2320215840707966,5.429608091024021,84.88716814159295,72.09734513274337,8.227054361567639,25.877370417193426,7.957251820313856,1.338421997471554,401,11,90,5,7,141,70,113,0.227,0.674,0.099,-0.9629,1,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,1,0,6,5,2,2,4,0,11,1,0,0,2,25,26,8,2,7,7,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,2,13,1,16,22,0,13,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,6,8,58,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634125279357897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219513790430961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141071610668952,0.1672087861492299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632540251258216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761588630284914,0.13749572034557686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251443165889052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608120430665767,0.0,0.17052145208077066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18054701002719584,0.0,0.17937135659729098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526685114906705,0.0,0.1635605684256283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598928388266566,0.0,0.18579439250147944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812046416975484,0.0,0.1557845746009405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045445344376445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523230995508133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550765192048755,0.0,0.0,0.13643524564488566,0.3738701974162956,0.0,0.0,0.17850481038607882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426364012981387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209132809143125,0.0,0.0,0.1903163349713676,0.0,0.0,0.15593629384289762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850178603207568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572870076174806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508985571510056
mentalhealth,matryhart,2018/03/25,"Help me get adderall legally I have ADHD, but I have never been diagnosed. I know it is very common for people to mis-diagnose themselves, especially with mental health conditions but I am reasonably confident I am correct about this. My dad had it, I was told by a student counselor when I was young that I appeared to have it, and my own personal experiences confirm their suspicions. I would like to seek treatment, but I am attempting to become an army officer where any history of ADHD is disqualifying, so getting diagnosed is not an option. Still, I am in college and would really like to take adderall to see if it helps my performance and concentration. I know what your thinking, just take it illegally, but that is not an option either because I am submitted to drug tests in ROTC, so what can I do? This is a long shot, but if I could get adderall prescribed for some fake condition that would not be disqualifying from army officer service that would be just awesome. I cannot think of any way to get treatment without destroying my chances of commissioning, so If you guys have any ideas that would be great.",7.605,7.963345695652176,7.896920289855075,69.1697282608696,63.05797101449275,11.537681159420293,38.50603864734299,11.20814326018867,4.592629951690821,897,44,153,24,12,294,116,207,0.043,0.807,0.15,0.9754,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,2,9,5,1,0,5,0,30,4,0,1,2,37,43,15,0,9,15,1,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,2,14,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,1,24,3,20,29,3,11,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,7,8,119,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035056879778072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576052192167633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697344707520927,0.13945606821259035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081687967783318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844863093535387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464339243860097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351697462129875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638849177017183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392138931712566,0.0,0.1250278458318182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421985003920126,0.0,0.0,0.16927317786188206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425442512395638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879014955637767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337897225414543,0.0,0.0,0.11174559651175828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272511670053727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738774863401486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754020482269363,0.11025470526408954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808922441417366,0.1298273105583211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062140004465747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008399445988254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898797045168077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618183326967048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065706562231507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418655212134972,0.0,0.10022780470817512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172044938484687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484954140660111,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,antwerpbanana,2018/03/25,"Seeking mod for low traffic sub. Hey everyone I have a low traffic sub over at r/mentalhealthsupport that I could use some help with as I don't have much time to Reddit any more these days.  Looking for someone who believes they will have time to respond to the one or so posts we get per day.  Mostly I just want to make sure the people that do post there get a number of responses.  If you are interested in helping grow the sub, by all means you are invited go ahead and do so. I just have a few basic ideas about what I do and do not envision if that happens.  Always open to feedback.

Just inbox me or reply to this post if you are interested.  If I don't get back to you right away it's just because I'm not online much. 

Thanks!

",3.2754906682721234,4.317174092715234,4.533172787477426,87.01175195665262,72.97350993377485,7.34521372667068,25.647802528597232,7.686295010490155,1.1780145695364244,572,18,124,7,11,189,97,151,0.045,0.851,0.105,0.7837,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,4,1,1,9,6,0,0,6,0,15,0,0,2,2,27,27,11,0,6,12,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,0,1,14,4,19,25,7,19,0,2,1,0,11,8,0,8,6,88,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387351481280442,0.0,0.0,0.1175835388039066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245299201354554,0.13295577072626275,0.0,0.10540326389997326,0.0,0.0,0.1948083860885847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805316739773424,0.0,0.0,0.22302303291829945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522124203115265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710122712111369,0.0,0.09826774275219326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290219382213782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317935095193288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519236700089004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519938136081678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541759906563916,0.0,0.0,0.1883477732833673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25421491663463824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716710462972373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987280888912953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967949197383587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476627001518359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465045985276386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296397868487336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591906850040987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164838132209087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933721123266666,0.0,0.0,0.10198576533834564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Flaming_bubble_tea,2018/03/25,"Seeking comfort Is anyone else scrolling through here looking for a ""sign"" that everything will work out and be okay? 

I'm just so tired",5.355599999999999,7.468363960000001,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,69.4,6.6000000000000005,36.5,7.1686216300943375,2.4858,109,6,20,1,2,31,25,25,0.133,0.711,0.156,-0.0878,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,12,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954621064689378,0.43296020787689776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529926624673435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797675339712484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548419692708168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.485667812950851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076269733448128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,necroman12g,2018/03/25,"Seeing a professional for help I've made an appointment to speak to someone about some frustrations that cling to me and have bled into my work life. It happens this week, and I'm suddenly feeling really nervous about it. Like how will I feel after I talk about what's bugging me? What will the counselor do? ",5.7429661016949165,6.9085846101694965,5.962500000000002,78.5857838983051,67.30508474576271,9.289830508474578,31.69915254237288,9.516144504307137,2.935267796610169,248,10,45,5,4,79,47,59,0.08900000000000001,0.794,0.117,0.1697,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,8,10,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,5,1,9,7,1,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,4,31,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700105696185406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235558556206647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24524876139803484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584393565728844,0.17875566885487926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462145394466233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343988921700954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29156744196323603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100179241647281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29408901041929425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29349537495635697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266372719815563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slopcrusher,2018/03/25,"Have any of you felt depersonalize after drinking alchahol? I drank 3 days ago, and I still feel like I’m watching my life through someone else’s eyes, im wondering if any of you have felt the same, and what you did to help it ",4.341418439716311,4.704121297872341,5.081702127659575,86.53333333333335,70.06382978723404,7.9687943262411345,30.56028368794326,7.793537801064563,1.7165943262411347,179,7,40,2,3,58,37,47,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.6369,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,8,9,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,6,1,5,5,1,4,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,5,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365061772348143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628725502548803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206689291688645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613669315581761,0.0,0.0,0.2228810052342971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490442086002896,0.19060525745726814,0.5123485074715416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883349741684498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28819474873490003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845197726025434,0.13034724930790864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260626692842201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130704958660759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893382044008629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phr34k5h0w,2018/03/25,"gf has night terrors, zoning out becoming another person. Im at a loss on how to help. Hi

My gf lives with me and is 23,  she has had some horrific things happen to her in the past.  Shes set up with a mental health provider,  her first appointment with her therapist is tomorrow morning.    Ever since her intake appointment.  shes had debilitating night terrors,  waking up screaming.   Sleep walking.  waking up screaming.  

Over the last few nights she has disassociated or what I think it is.  She stares off into nothingness eyes wide open.   A couple times she age regressed.  One night she said she was 6 put on her pajamas and watched cartoons and came out of it a couple hours later.    Yesterday we were down in the emergency room.  They did a mental health referral.  they chocked it up to no sleep.  and told her to take melatonin and benadryl.   Mental health said there was not much she could do.   Other than get her psych eval asap.    They said she wasnt a candidate for hospitalization.    Today she woke up and she was fine,   we came home from church and she competely age regressed again.  Saying she was 8 and didn't recognize me.  Started saying what they did to her at church.  Needless to say it was horrifying.     She didnt recognize her dog,  or where she was at,  the date or any of it.   About 30 mins later she finally came back out of it.    

Ive called the mental health crisis line a few times.  They are at a loss on what to do.  Other than for her to go to her appointment tomorrow.  

Her best friend and I have been taking shifts at night staying up making sure shes safe 


Im at a loss of what I can do to help her.  Her best friend and I have",2.101163602941177,4.556576965625002,3.3099632352941204,88.09518382352941,80.90625,6.639705882352942,21.911764705882355,7.827709963407826,1.0742408088235291,1279,40,258,23,34,413,159,320,0.107,0.812,0.08,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,2,0,5,7,7,14,0,2,14,0,33,9,5,2,2,35,49,14,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,0,4,8,2,1,13,23,0,1,1,0,0,6,6,7,0,2,23,11,47,7,47,25,6,62,2,3,3,0,55,28,0,4,26,180,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926192248636266,0.09137964606996524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700950370301842,0.0,0.0,0.09624534855848492,0.0,0.0,0.18290763351283668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898529015162256,0.2990136789534898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957858377578917,0.19284965736209533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882808612904882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546362617161007,0.0,0.07412591045169675,0.0,0.0,0.13465678093683042,0.0,0.045529922449864466,0.0,0.04952679102133658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706247022717841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705263289309984,0.0,0.0,0.11682357185119895,0.0,0.08741403326574566,0.0,0.08582075488934998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882641698690981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103520663056838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769510654702006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817029219367857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512886339011345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406196325492182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40890070132516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905204030385532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319023224252489,0.0,0.07609208171693811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760528858568548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486859552645759,0.20790477753391706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208765100829999,0.0,0.17441685362842102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061682027335947,0.0928854987372102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213359430351963,0.0,0.13104512825891054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118263223329474,0.05789559220618616,0.055839312097217,0.0,0.0,0.10163047366127767,0.0,0.08260373617580026,0.08327125155400937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JFrancis7,2018/03/25,"Schizo Affective? HELLO

New account for discussions of mental health.
Looking to start up a good discussion lets keep it cool.

I’m 25 with my whole life ahead of me..
I have been in Hospitals for mental health almost 10 times now and by the end of this stay will have spent almost an entire year in mental health institutions..

So I have interjecting thoughts. These thoughts are kind of like arrows that fly by my head and I notice them all. They are not from myself. At least I think so. I perform vipassana meditation 24/7 and I rarely get hooked on these thoughts but nevertheless there’s probably 3-7 a minute. Volitional thought is rarely used and I can’t seem to tell if the thoughts that fly by me are mine or whatnot. I can plug my ears with my hands and not hear them and I can listen to music and not hear them. I basically stay in the flow state all day with these foreign thoughts whizzing by my head every 20 seconds or so.

I am writing this to kind of double check as to where I am in terms of psychological development. I want to discuss my mental state with reference to other people who have been through institutions and possibly if there are meditators here they can speak up as well. I don’t feel comfortable posting in meditation forums anymore because I don’t think they will vibe with the whole institutionalized thing.

Does anyone else have experience with interjecting thoughts?

JFrancis7",4.2101520912547485,6.828809832699619,4.485423574144488,81.64161064638786,74.24714828897339,7.554007604562737,27.25003802281369,8.488131031819089,2.073867954372624,1138,44,209,22,25,356,151,263,0.0,0.943,0.057,0.9025,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,6,2,9,7,0,0,7,1,23,8,4,2,2,43,45,18,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,11,14,0,1,12,0,3,1,6,0,1,1,10,9,31,7,39,32,7,25,0,0,1,0,17,10,0,7,10,143,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917337641245994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494548342767006,0.06694161023420568,0.09809397837506778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836045097416465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617425129789611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378018627166213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997606701185442,0.0,0.08479465928330783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066264057563402,0.0,0.0,0.09364925978721146,0.0,0.0,0.048407557169599685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001868627276472,0.0,0.0,0.08029974196119721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965077810027792,0.3052921991522193,0.215805351944536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509553831170431,0.0,0.1993909261196467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978976768635095,0.06762194896796582,0.046772313928239766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039505669794665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385921939349608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246349316429146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899732926703573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637205459736457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792920179972536,0.09168968298463956,0.0,0.10322079227261192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715546530415512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776321609996537,0.20408603268506692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367845007827389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360347892808169,0.1226889431473656,0.0,0.53203197535636,0.05582507617285717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826861206407549,0.0,0.0,0.05646822534584425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607915549870382,0.0,0.0,0.2137741188668461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165155714219354
mentalhealth,b-bags,2018/03/25,"I'm a bad person and I don't know how to want to stop. (Long post) I'm only 19, I have no criminal record, I don't do any hard drugs, I have a caring and supportive family, I have a girlfriend. On the surface I'm the most normal person you'd ever meet. But my mind is predatory. I constantly think of hurting people. I'm not talking about the ""What if I did this"" type thing that everybody has. I'm talking about long drawn out fantasies of stalking, harassing, and ultimately attacking people. But I've never once done this to anybody. I've volunteered in plenty of community service projects and I have never hurt anybody unprovoked. It's like I'm trapped inside my own mind. I cage myself away and I'm yearning to break free. I don't know if it's fear that's making me feel the violent thoughts, or fear that makes me keep them in. I'm so afraid of public opinion and the power of authority that I could never do any of these things, but it's also my moral compass that traps me. The closest I've done to something bad was telling a girl I know all the things I've though and done. Things like stalking her, obsessing over her, admitting to being a pedophile (Who has not committ any crime I should add). She promptly blocked me and hasn't talked to me since, which is fair.

I think the worst thing about this is that I want to stop, but I don't. It's like a cage surrounding my bad thoughts wants to eradicate them but another part of me wants to unleash my fury onto the world. I feel like a ticking time bomb and I don't know if or when I'll go off. I don't know what to do. I've been kicked off a mental health forums for posting in detail my thoughts and I don't know where else to turn to. Any input at all is greatly appreciated.",2.9871588188347964,4.3862128435754215,4.228830806065442,87.51671787709499,74.19553072625698,7.348922585794092,26.472865123703126,7.957251820313856,1.4609837190742223,1370,49,291,20,28,450,171,358,0.155,0.742,0.103,-0.9707,1,1,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,2,1,10,22,3,4,17,0,31,2,0,3,7,64,64,25,0,11,12,0,3,4,1,1,2,0,0,3,23,12,0,4,14,1,1,1,14,14,0,0,9,3,39,9,35,51,6,31,1,3,0,0,18,16,0,7,15,183,62,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015581681318371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23863140043626285,0.0919901515094446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998029332316605,0.08242306997985467,0.0,0.2197469166914112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944424558765343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480248707730304,0.0,0.07004343678948838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693277126961423,0.0,0.0,0.1017362901861697,0.0,0.07328524349987953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935473486796693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270187603230174,0.19743612369329686,0.08871553070702058,0.06267269249987945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049857678441225815,0.0,0.0,0.09672010835605614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858679536135475,0.0,0.0,0.0932504518306617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878286528096552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797641818273225,0.0,0.0,0.28927712596901256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143730835254933,0.0,0.0,0.15527252283123305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711785331600134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840889641706691,0.0,0.17715995450568556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298305117105406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595452799940956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342714645763438,0.0,0.06672087549605603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500055933099218,0.0,0.12163869428673416,0.15320090253907978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803778917910714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256926704592569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753707601145649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668858502916934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955236401505142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153662714025495,0.07667788400709731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29141195702915845,0.11242474666783546,0.08619202820900017,0.20893800386879735,0.0511547323291198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542255523074668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20697630174101306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Simzah,2018/03/25,"Mental illness I think my mother gave me anxiety, among other things. ",3.5500000000000007,6.707287333333337,4.449999999999998,73.84500000000001,92.33333333333334,5.7333333333333325,22.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.9948666666666683,56,2,7,1,2,18,12,12,0.328,0.672,0.0,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884645718969714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6434760283007379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242030300296091,0.40913659371598027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaycoh,2018/03/25,"Do you think drawing is positive or negative for mental health? I find it can help to some extent, but I find that the mindstate it puts me in can also quickly turn into a negative spiral. If I'm making dark or depressing drawings, it can also mean I'm wallowing in negative feelings longer than I usually would.",8.195,7.219211166666668,9.123333333333337,65.27500000000003,62.33333333333334,12.666666666666664,40.0,11.855464076750405,5.085999999999999,250,12,41,7,3,86,45,60,0.233,0.706,0.061,-0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,0,13,13,6,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,6,12,2,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,4,2,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4069602750907476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21915371199639802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865539317106967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651175275331539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704638849148939,0.0,0.0,0.1705495918936094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984448321098092,0.0,0.0,0.27716596495010765,0.0,0.0,0.25642142334516865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557882108765055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303853304417704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27676386000874825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28023599511742703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075092770462647,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,macshackattack,2018/03/25,"33 year old husband convinces himself he is dying quite often This typically happens at night.  He will have an uncomfortable sensation in his body, such as pain in his chest or stomach, and his mind says it's a blood clot or stomach cancer.  A feedback loop commences and hours later he is so sick with worry he can't sleep.  Reason doesn't seem to work, as he has been evaluated by numerous doctors who are in awe of his health.  I also want to note that he had another obsession outside of his mental control a few times the first 3 years of our relationship - he would be bombarded with thoughts that I was cheating on him.  This hasn't happened in quite some time, but this newer obsession seemed to replace it.  It's really strange considering that he is the most laid back dude who is the epitome of mental health in all other circumstances.

Questions: 

1. Has anyone had experience with this, and what helped?
2. Is there something I can do to help?  Generally I don't buy into the drama his mind is creating and I just cuddle with the guy and try to make him laugh about it - this works some times.",5.593060257278264,6.563594118483414,6.114397427217335,78.06925355450241,67.5308056872038,9.251320243737307,31.18517264725796,9.424239791934726,2.767786459038592,873,34,163,17,14,283,137,211,0.099,0.838,0.063,-0.691,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,6,8,6,1,2,9,0,23,13,6,3,1,31,30,12,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,16,10,0,1,5,1,1,0,4,4,0,1,5,1,15,2,25,22,5,20,0,0,0,1,27,8,0,9,12,109,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689611589424514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016499762333126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346540385128067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278423403044112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484776045988063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992264311889875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872870038682228,0.0,0.0,0.13681724849910906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075523363960925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369991578140168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235464391286544,0.23640846557821665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841706235884899,0.0,0.0,0.17919281125618616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163835079737696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922598431638404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694165093294201,0.0,0.26993785959456146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544055113878896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026452725398253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223465729147902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974136329499685,0.28434970294580136,0.0,0.0,0.08563263725341612,0.13743536365671466,0.0,0.14351191142333394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630001283002263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433768991812123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337668667242292,0.0,0.0,0.1029059518144248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611931217690118,0.2338327359292502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075338081174472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788422248620725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462718683516095,0.13574871026161006,0.0,0.0949555683861162,0.0,0.0,0.1721586220049134
mentalhealth,RedDrackham,2018/03/25,"I'm Going to Tear the World Apart I suffer from depression and anxiety. I used to self harm but haven't done so in 3 years. 

All day yesterday I had mood swings that went from giggle fits to rage to absolutely nothing. I was left emotionally drained. 

Today I've been so irritable, to the point that I almost screamed at my grandfather over the phone. It took me four hours to crawl out of bed just to take a bath. I have no motivation to do any of my assignments (I'm in college) and my heart rate has been sitting at about 140bpm for the past hour. 

I feel like I'd be just fine if i just tore the World apart. ",3.43809523809524,4.391920269841272,4.479523809523811,87.88214285714287,72.49206349206351,8.457142857142857,25.11111111111111,8.841846274778883,1.4602444444444451,478,14,109,9,9,156,88,126,0.198,0.713,0.08900000000000001,-0.9312,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,6,0,10,1,1,2,1,13,18,6,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,3,2,5,0,1,7,2,12,3,20,10,1,24,0,2,0,0,2,13,0,2,8,63,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424805331848173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454987922040495,0.0,0.16367730155082633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798522417926426,0.0,0.1842817312265447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21895334161236135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406739773017281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081836048735792,0.15285165399419148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159727482693627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535412867793848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214111071173453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324660174323713,0.0,0.0,0.10452908233537993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529849302737016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424714229018026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022594885664931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320487993359373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086980548330934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20280718783442506,0.0,0.2377152354864553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847910352631104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19834123037143886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778195157306078
mentalhealth,NutbakeCentral,2018/03/25,"Roommate is paranoid in the extreme and it's making me hate living with him Bit of a wall of text, apologies! 

In October I moved in with a friend after a rocky couple of years in  city an hour away from my hometown that showed me I have a lot of anxiety problems of my own. I've always known he has some paranoid tendencies but he's been getting at me to move in with him for a while now so I thought he trusted me enough that things would be ok. 

Well, lately he has become aggresive and incredibly paranoid. Its got to the point where I cannot clean the kitchen without inciting some kind of outlash or petty reaction such as doing the very thing he was accusing me of, most recently ""stuffing everything into his cupboard"" when all I had done was put the heel of a loaf and its bag back into it to wipe the counters. In return, he took all my stuff from around the kitchen, veg and all, and stuffed it into my cupboard. It would be funny if I didnt feel so scared.

Anything I do around the house is taken as some kind of personal attack or attempt to guilt trip him into doing something. He does not clean up after himself 90% of the time so its an almost weekly occurance now.

As I mentioned, I have some pretty severe 
anxiety problems that have spiralled into a bit of a depression that I am currently trying to deal with but living with this aggressively paranoid person is hurting me more as he is making me feel like a scumbag on a regular basis due to all these accusations and the aggressive behavior scares the hell out of me to be honest, I dont want to leave my rom half the time but if I don't he freaks out even more over more trivial things.

I want out of this flatting situation but have no idea what to do as there is 7 months left on the tenancy. I dont really feel safe when I dont know what mood I'm going to come home to. Christ, it feels like an abusive relationship.

I'm not sure I'm even looking advice, just needed to get this down somewhere but if anyone has any advice or questions they're most welcome.

Cheers.",6.452104912202714,5.810832562347192,6.951408090686819,78.33686541453656,65.67481662591688,9.783551900422317,33.26083574127584,9.095868883498916,2.737091931540342,1614,60,317,24,22,530,216,409,0.207,0.701,0.092,-0.9937,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,17,27,5,3,26,1,33,3,1,2,5,69,56,28,0,10,15,0,4,2,1,2,0,0,5,2,22,22,2,1,9,1,0,7,10,13,1,1,10,5,33,13,64,41,18,53,2,2,1,0,23,27,1,15,21,231,55,0,0.0,0.1088893945938776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961205290930551,0.0,0.0,0.09202704474179396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647021413636185,0.0,0.0,0.06249682857157609,0.0,0.14061027038264934,0.0,0.0,0.06426034129395779,0.0,0.0756278991887305,0.1636253589690668,0.0,0.10455232291670698,0.08634539235753008,0.07066732380404382,0.0,0.0,0.10149905364705976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006673813959307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916583713940377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168833097694034,0.0,0.0,0.0947474073584146,0.07915545958063344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804244676017278,0.09404813090634466,0.3231270182408692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495981479260852,0.0,0.12140142451112128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259601082862633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18587459333840514,0.13131028061263836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710036175095903,0.0,0.09603049104190413,0.0,0.05223028950626818,0.0,0.07350279777102442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073465887061416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218566699412298,0.0,0.0905054169890828,0.1060431070789513,0.0983834909740677,0.10374669807547493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140455269209672,0.05050719203567226,0.0,0.10366998500546734,0.09731144217071902,0.0998522985662528,0.0,0.0,0.0897978057480615,0.0,0.16230312299429525,0.0,0.07717492548629072,0.0,0.0,0.07813219040712083,0.0,0.0,0.12269121981398465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335567182078945,0.1953555549195544,0.0,0.06814451428885193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049137750508105,0.0,0.0,0.08687753618042035,0.0,0.0,0.0934978477866457,0.0,0.175876497149711,0.0,0.09238736228921622,0.10295179515267427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887507322561901,0.0,0.09074259830083664,0.09866885529629384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840208026145292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382362795143256,0.0,0.0,0.1033022227128875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075100852606976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520633647091254,0.0,0.0,0.08661698689129887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831677449542343,0.0,0.0,0.07296029265778732,0.1071781343495661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210702161852968,0.062395741999068326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582915952389045,0.10841291149981634,0.0,0.07371861501545336,0.0,0.0826313542696335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859069799116427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056975053491876,0.0,0.0,0.05918217517326663
mentalhealth,binaryphunk,2018/03/25,"[Academic] Research on cultural experiences and the well-being of Asian Indians A PhD doctoral student in the Psychology department at Long Island University-Brooklyn is seeking research participants for a dissertation study which focuses on Asian Indians. Results may help advance research on cultural experiences and the well-being of Asian Indians and provide information of value for the field of psychology. The information that you provide will remain ANONYMOUS and results will be reported in aggregate form only. 

Click here to take the survey:
https://survey.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eQVKpsoSEMB9ihT",13.126333333333335,16.003188077777775,12.286666666666667,33.690000000000026,51.55555555555557,15.777777777777779,52.77777777777778,14.06817628641468,9.482444444444443,517,34,49,22,6,168,58,90,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,0,5,1,0,2,0,9,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,13,2,1,9,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,1,1,35,3,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160989091164388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.604186784461094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700113757936453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733033772933912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487788150210956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322004899694377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5553475626829295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,constantcal,2018/03/25,"Can seeing a therapist somehow come back to bite me in the future? I was diagnosed with several disorders and saw a therapist for a few years as an adolescent, but I'm now an adult (technically) and was wondering if seeing a therapist now could somehow come back to bite me in the future (making insurance more expensive, preexisting condition, difficulty getting a job, etc). I don't understand how any of this works and it's my primary fear in seeking help. I'm in the US, if that helps.",7.685108695652175,7.452735554347829,9.02947826086957,63.09813043478265,63.02173913043478,14.316521739130435,40.13913043478261,13.348371206891418,6.004849565217391,389,20,67,16,5,136,63,92,0.081,0.843,0.076,-0.1154,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,7,1,0,1,10,0,5,1,0,2,0,16,16,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,6,0,10,12,3,13,0,0,3,0,4,4,0,5,7,50,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431518709547492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585202650065305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896101351381777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421584195142952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062008496192096,0.0,0.0,0.1926595612307416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747826847456656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916158877785968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782640496511801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22535057779140816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681538783254482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220945181198012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679112063075422,0.0,0.0,0.189907515716676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5855384561928504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750002063164931,0.20220611893358595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229954812906696,0.12238032513624553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825223586987097
mentalhealth,HighlandPlague,2018/03/25,"A moment of clarity!...followed by crushing burnout. does the cycle ever end? 6 months since my last major depressive episode and i am now back in the familiar territory of all out fear and dread of the future.
After gaining a brief week of clarity about going back into education at the age of 29, doing something for myself and giving myself a goal.
Check me out! Riding on a high and beginning to plan and give it real thought, i was feeling that i had reached a turning point.
it was not to last and am now 3 weeks into one of the heaviest depressions i have experienced in recent years. 
i know i have enough in my toolkit to keep going and make the most of work and family life, but the cycle is relentless and ferocious and i fear i may never reach any goals i set myself if i cannot gain clarity without experiencing crushing burnout. ",6.9914814814814825,6.8007697530864215,7.89172839506173,70.5427777777778,64.4320987654321,10.903703703703703,35.283950617283956,10.504223727775694,3.7861432098765437,668,28,118,15,9,226,105,162,0.149,0.773,0.078,-0.9102,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,8,6,5,0,3,12,0,11,1,0,1,3,29,22,12,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,14,0,1,3,0,1,4,4,5,0,1,4,3,16,0,24,17,4,35,0,2,0,0,2,11,0,3,19,89,19,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943116024904076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474751891358621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772004269635636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408222305550906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252741120334864,0.16627344054567456,0.0,0.0,0.14556140880003007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170111280312187,0.3621596160661405,0.08136601838341627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087383730625933,0.18290915911895475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002088047985905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303314481163462,0.0,0.0,0.0884374575752227,0.2623426562613549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366259866352688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741539085649517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844485810993228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411147211378405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904359856045964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521214724186069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316226028200575,0.0,0.0,0.15888914754611147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311473807285834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388412546294965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277525541717242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750348179449726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258160734151633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551211971875101,0.0,0.1171517215829699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036272438665477
mentalhealth,Ashxox89,2018/03/25,"My brain is torturing me day and night. Should I seek professional help. I'm took a break from work. The first year of unemployment was wonderful. I enjoyed doing what I loved Arts, working out, cooking etc. There was not one negative thought or thing in life, I  was so content and grateful. 

The second year suddenly seems miserable. I wake up at 4 am, and start thinking about bad memories starting from high school, tiffs with cousins and everything hurtful that ever happened. I can't stop it. I do it all day. I get so angry thinking about something that happened years ago. Nasty fights, mean comments, deaths, negativity.. everything that I once forgave and forgot suddenly is surfacing and I DONT KNOW WHY!!

That feeling of gratitude and content is gone and I'm left with reliving bad moments, hopelessness and no purpose in life. My skin is breaking out like never before, I'm getting fatter by the day... Nothing seems to help. I was thinking I should visit a psychiatrist because these incessant thoughts are so painful it almost seems like killing myself is the only way to stop them. But I also think that this is because of too much free time in hand, no social life and zero friends. Any suggestions will be much much appreciated. Thank you.",5.039867256637166,7.571875420353982,5.107265486725666,78.57257964601773,71.34513274336284,8.059823008849557,33.42389380530973,8.841846274778883,3.1798909734513265,999,50,167,20,20,312,148,226,0.172,0.629,0.198,0.4772,2,0,1,0,1,2,35.0,0,1,1,3,9,16,3,1,6,0,20,10,4,0,3,39,47,16,2,2,3,1,3,2,1,3,4,0,0,0,12,14,1,3,13,2,1,3,8,9,0,4,9,3,19,8,19,34,5,35,0,3,0,1,12,10,0,6,21,110,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588991739753353,0.0,0.10832085359286524,0.0,0.0,0.08650688305175737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356217769150677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064190717859224,0.13188399851114202,0.0,0.09204829210976284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075820264902183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929026473928888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677937785562168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064284763234225,0.0,0.09784977327120804,0.0,0.0,0.19444002404782507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469613489201528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201293456936446,0.0,0.0,0.08357513248849552,0.0,0.11303312835685304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131620745184805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501379622053284,0.11429200049293507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580273768062348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967874487242534,0.0,0.0594497212122052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753160436971012,0.0,0.2292199477937477,0.10569691764728407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976314551477992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783343575989028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385614907435605,0.0,0.08343062565005291,0.0,0.0,0.10151417566983276,0.0,0.10379607964510408,0.0,0.0,0.11520201174467967,0.07330164968707968,0.08227136730540555,0.1151049948006874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947808376114672,0.0,0.2954332359811484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102699925497722,0.0,0.08327779792997582,0.0,0.0,0.1531325365390727,0.0,0.0,0.18087697993648744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959228626919947,0.0,0.0,0.07186614376890225,0.2772546840418304,0.0,0.1717564918280504,0.06307725642939882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018553644286754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586365915243807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976104063210664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731032501702175,0.15750423810439138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20898194928145916
mentalhealth,Aple2017,2018/03/25,"Somatic symptom disorder So, I have been officially diagnosed with Somatic symptom disorder by a psychologist.  I try to avoid reading too much about it on the Internet since there is so much negative news pertaining to this disorder. Is  there anyoby on here who has the same issue and who could tell me something positive about it? 

I apologise for my English-- not my native language.",7.273432835820893,9.459747686567166,8.12853731343284,60.6519104477612,64.67164179104478,13.71820895522388,41.75820895522389,12.688352899677879,6.890554626865673,313,19,45,14,5,105,50,67,0.187,0.732,0.081,-0.7951,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,0,6,3,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,9,4,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109493327503996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047897685004208,0.0,0.0,0.6937291166976335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059285242062686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29664466092828684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182210427793668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690416359376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155330481374804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194273822903363,0.0,0.0,0.17635369099490505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698689025587732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sakura_inside,2018/03/25,"Does anybody have any idea how to get a proper diagnosis or evaluation? For many years, it’s torn me apart to not know why there are so many things wrong with me. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in my early teens, but it’s been nearly fifteen years since then. I used to believe that it was good ol’ normal depression and was encouraged to believe I’d get over it eventually. I just needed to do [insert thing] and I’d be like everybody else, right?

I’m approaching thirty, and now I genuinely believe that there’s a lot more wrong with me. I’d rather not go into a lot of detail, but here’s just one example: I have crippling anxiety which has steadily risen to a peak throughout my whole life. I have regular and severe panic attacks that range in frequency from once a week to several within a day. I cannot handle the simplest of tasks without feeling overwhelmed and potentially triggering a minor panic attack. All of the things I used to do for fun are now very stressful and mostly impossible. I am extremely socially anxious to the point where I cannot answer emails, use social media or pick up the phone; reddit is my only outlet, and even then attention can cause me to abandon whichever account I’m on for potentially weeks at a time. I will panic and feel terribly abandoned if, for example, my SO doesn’t return from the kitchen for 30 minutes after promising not to be away for long; likewise, if they’re more than 15 minutes late from work I start to panic that they died in a car wreck. I have panic attacks in my sleep that coincide with nightmares I get “trapped” in and can’t wake up from. MOST OF ALL, I am essentially reclusive and have been for many years; at present, I leave the house maybe once or twice a month at most and almost always end up having a massive crying-screaming panic attack in public for my efforts.

That’s just a few of my symptoms, all relating to anxiety... but I have *never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder*. Maybe I’m wrong, but these ongoing, long-term symptoms don’t sound like “just depression” to me. This is despite being occasionally given anxiety medications (for the anxiety I don’t have?) and then getting them taken away again with little precedence. My current psychiatrist has me on 50mg of quetiapine a day at present. Other than a beta-blocker (propranolol) I am on exactly 0 other psychiatric medications to supplement it. This is despite me trying to tell him I had a very bad reaction to taking quetiapine in 2016 and ended up in a psychiatric unit for it. However, **he also insists I don’t have Bipolar Disorder**. Why am I taking an antipsychotic that specifically treats Bipolar then?! Well, I guess I could ask him myself, except he prescribed the quetiapine in September of last year after spending exactly 1 and a 1/2 hours with me and I haven’t heard from him since. Not one single follow-up. He seems to be ignoring every letter and phonecall sent his way.

This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of my attempt to get real psychiatric help during the last year. It’s not even that I’m stuck on getting the “right” diagnosis. I just want to talk to somebody and give them my whole history with as much detail as I can, *then* see what they have to say. I want somebody to take my past traumas and treatments into account. I want somebody to specifically check for a few things that I’m concerned about. I want to get specific help for specific problems, whether that means specialised therapy or specific medications. I want somebody to flippin’ listen to me!

I live in the UK. Does anybody know where I can go from here? I’ve heard of people getting full psychiatric evaluations; would I be able to get one of those, and if so, how? Could I do it on the NHS or would I have to go private and pay? Is there *anywhere* I can find somebody who will hear me out or am I chasing pipedreams out here?

I need answers, I need help and I need self-acceptance. Thank you in advance, everybody.",4.895110693400167,6.553341570105825,5.831044277360068,76.88003759398498,69.8068783068783,8.956056808688386,31.781676413255358,9.414487439383343,3.083975661375661,3161,140,561,69,57,1041,336,756,0.177,0.7659999999999999,0.057,-0.9985,2,1,0,0,0,0,95.0,0,1,4,4,28,34,4,8,34,0,58,13,2,8,6,112,110,48,1,19,28,0,2,2,0,4,10,7,1,0,32,33,1,3,11,0,5,7,15,25,1,4,13,10,72,9,109,86,19,88,0,6,1,0,33,42,0,17,40,399,104,2,0.053872275139673305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394530171836172,0.0,0.0,0.04308163896567982,0.04482604853419042,0.0,0.0,0.03663499445400836,0.0,0.2060607151347435,0.0608603367743631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050363305033012416,0.2451499609021301,0.10122955172115597,0.0,0.04498109949519133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208681801586935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534166636960542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602525614420864,0.0,0.0,0.06948632144592817,0.0,0.1392003349139477,0.10935845052857088,0.05591091625963188,0.0,0.18522688375530702,0.0,0.09428798202716768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04500337313983682,0.0,0.09542969127067473,0.0,0.0,0.07116425929645348,0.0,0.04538971529734928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447888198274542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923828349910744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533143623788862,0.051679195208874776,0.09185056634683236,0.045185508434376034,0.0,0.0,0.059346384680353165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071796940010948,0.0,0.10832835134190076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05305333926913446,0.062161372481068025,0.0,0.06081524127682395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921358707011029,0.08782618895122979,0.060770272868690085,0.057042960830451336,0.0,0.0,0.03805158112360402,0.052638544879036415,0.053994172444442254,0.04757020593416565,0.09535053647395328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916005636659208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385409421108546,0.10824388260745878,0.05868270082573612,0.0,0.16281194865727813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0430003360450024,0.0,0.03960232085108306,0.15978243761179228,0.041549619708131966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278339146983033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474442964578578,0.10951574358024513,0.04097229282141281,0.0,0.37924504467776826,0.0,0.0,0.051427182395810685,0.03734825242981851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092671306516738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154849169898919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061318443250936265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201325723234106,0.0,0.04284139546586383,0.0,0.0,0.04292922841934453,0.0490432959860056,0.05620053207731869,0.1217206735487262,0.0,0.08912740539253652,0.0,0.05391118105249793,0.10983200041862984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381310736229392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617105091570777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119878423917245,0.12151573925301115,0.04330049411175605,0.04708674298871913,0.04959835298018082,0.0616076416375496,0.0,0.14316138325571498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031413356863304084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03657573855082352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395850463663044,0.0,0.08890053790259983,0.15887631829949467,0.042761304457869714,0.08642617918300566,0.0,0.04843764515071746,0.0,0.09722269803436333,0.12029294260717402,0.0,0.05193095079802359,0.0,0.0392196579173824,0.0,0.0,0.07653863717627955,0.17670262756140098,0.0,0.17345989459014372
mentalhealth,SelfEnmity,2018/03/25,"I don't even know what's wrong with me So this little story starts a little over a month ago. I started cutting myself, for basically no reason other than I liked seeing the blood. I always cut on the back of my right hand for some reason, and its always been visible. Of course, since the cuts were plain as day, this led to some problems. Someone from my school who I know cut herself in the past told the school counselor what I was doing. When I got called down to the counseling office, I completely lied and said that it was all a big misunderstanding and that I had actually fallen in gravel. The counselor believed me, I didn't get in trouble, and I went back to class. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, and I was staying the night at a friend's house. I was texting this girl and I told her about the cutting. Right then she just stopped texting me. Apparently she called the police tip line about my cutting. About an hour later my friend's mom says that a police officer and my step dad are at the door. The officer starts asking me all of these questions about if I'm okay, how school is, etc. My step dad pulls out a flashlight and him and the officer start checking my arms, completely skipping over my hand. I led them to the conclusion that I am fine, and that it must have been a crazy ex girlfriend trying to get back at me for breaking up with her. I walk home with my step dad and everyone thinks I'm okay. I got called back down to the counselors office the following Tuesday and I basically made her think that someone just has it pout for me, that I'm not cutting, and that I'm fine. Again, she believes me. I haven't been called back down for anything since, and I haven't had to talk to any more cops. I've been extremely depressed the last few weeks though, and the only thing that really brings me out of it is lying. I'm always getting away with lying, to the point where I almost want to get called back down to the counselors office so I can lie my way out of something. I haven't cut in a little while, but I'm probably going to again soon in a place that's less visible, like my thigh or something. I just don't know who I am anymore or what to do, or what's wrong with me. I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want my parents to know about what's going on with me. ",4.521801418439715,4.929307080851069,5.081702127659575,86.53333333333332,69.68085106382978,7.9687943262411345,27.368794326241137,7.793537801064563,1.4000624113475175,1808,55,386,20,30,580,205,470,0.086,0.8690000000000001,0.044,-0.9233,2,0,2,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,1,1,24,21,8,0,30,2,30,5,5,6,3,58,67,28,0,6,9,6,2,2,3,1,0,2,2,1,28,24,0,1,10,0,1,15,10,13,0,0,19,5,60,8,62,47,8,78,0,1,1,0,33,31,0,8,33,261,88,4,0.0,0.0,0.07337605576934145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330545277259662,0.0,0.07529342408883162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876960499803382,0.0,0.0,0.051132797223354114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456976168676295,0.0,0.0,0.061876196313174016,0.0,0.07029390073973904,0.0,0.07064488774069633,0.34690572507220124,0.0,0.04583603941930306,0.0,0.0,0.16943013970498955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838946330361883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767371063396127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048492295921484685,0.0,0.0647623272470938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385839650237532,0.04966327543360133,0.0,0.0,0.07184869882049301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618553002523715,0.0,0.15713781764401538,0.0,0.12819918370013414,0.0,0.12027502001867467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542320346562291,0.0,0.07404847958353246,0.08676089355466156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529312400057405,0.06129110673376754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346953593267712,0.22608490422815425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114801368044743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806337396057945,0.060017136519168277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056212747792004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05718652266327735,0.0,0.0,0.08349126047153063,0.0,0.07177879315676322,0.0,0.0,0.07855911195668681,0.0,0.07108026986826055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106915256007159,0.07194810897332543,0.0,0.0,0.08423168640138291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0481695991550661,0.1546187666154258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842625729964696,0.0715243334974262,0.05979529735896703,0.0,0.2282934314765293,0.059917889013934925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439836868820965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741902489081675,0.11577217772476447,0.0,0.0,0.21288371782539828,0.08014413256695878,0.0,0.06286345937345009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060436078074667526,0.0,0.0,0.08598803123108485,0.0,0.049953890326223487,0.09635935193346534,0.07387526524377203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369739764098602,0.0,0.05105009159920994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304968140338738,0.05968351141953367,0.12062816879914598,0.0,0.0,0.06970327217143102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442019911269834,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExplodePumpkin,2018/03/25,"Helping an older woman deal with disability and mental illness Hi,  
My family has recently been trying to help out a distant relative whose husband passed away recently (we're the only family she has left). She's pretty fragile, has trouble moving around, is bipolar and has trouble with long-term thinking (it seems likely that she has some degree of autism.)  
We've been trying to find a good retirement home for her, but our last attempt ended with her threatening to commit suicide, and I'm really not sure how to help someone who doesn't seem to have any motivation or hobbies; we can't seem to find a reasonable therapist because her difficulty moving and very old age make it difficult to ensure her safety.  
What can I do to help her?",8.81155370177268,8.224016328467156,9.01074035453598,65.31890510948907,60.8978102189781,11.916162669447345,37.81960375391033,11.20814326018867,4.497853806047966,595,25,94,14,7,197,98,137,0.159,0.67,0.171,-0.0027,0,0,0,0,0,2,15.0,2,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,5,0,13,2,0,4,2,26,19,7,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,10,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,1,12,3,16,17,1,14,0,0,0,0,20,4,0,5,8,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464666526280772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389904362199435,0.0,0.0,0.13076349047199098,0.0,0.0,0.08484238131823184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348769935582356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232715083001794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624116277447286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544146331074636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673695479569643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731556802717773,0.0,0.13960813957189547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344966787712525,0.0,0.0,0.15121866651678853,0.0,0.0,0.06799595320455053,0.0,0.0,0.12316925992180658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290323267460257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025995254845458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958510413456461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604521442165885,0.0,0.0,0.105852094193335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159533698771232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916179389049482,0.14309945320685952,0.27484544488911244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38011069643258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792613011445402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15223951398050745,0.0,0.13117479961378825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159784093400262,0.0,0.08918044604082717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889871547656807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483746043846195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thefirstofall,2018/03/25,"Stuck on hold with Hotline for 3 hours. I was referred to call this number and they have never called back, now my 6th time trying has left me on hold for 3 hours when the estimated wait time was under 5 minutes. I can't believe or accept this, this is the only way to get reffersd to a psychiatrist.",6.9589617486338735,5.492359868852464,7.428524590163933,78.01961748633883,65.0655737704918,9.444808743169398,31.80874316939891,7.793537801064563,2.0744054644808743,236,7,48,2,3,78,48,61,0.07400000000000001,0.902,0.024,-0.4232,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,9,6,0,13,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,8,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861585544452348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910143278429991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5275039673110585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349504771111341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5087446318894379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806424331680069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921598032055965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644789862664552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30123224841251184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536794951518428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050255874109281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wobbuffette,2018/03/25,"last-ditch ideas to prevent self harm relapse? I've been wanting to come on here for months, but I'm too humiliated and have way too many things going wrong to pick one or two to talk about.

But as it stands, I haven't really eaten today, I'm going between barely sleeping and sleeping too much lately, and I hardly have anyone I can talk to. My family doesn't listen, my therapist and psych have admitted they can't do much, and the only person I currently feel comfortable calling a friend is on a trip right now. I reached out to someone out of desperation and they're not responding much. I haven't self harmed since Christmas of 2016 but it's all I can think about right now. I've tried mental health apps, I've tried going out, I've showered, I've napped, I've spent time with my cat, I've watched shows, I've exercised....I'm still just sitting here wanting to relapse so I'll feel some form of relief and I don't know what to do. I have work in the morning and I'm at a loss.

I'm sorry if this post is somewhat incoherent and rambling, but I'm sobbing and stressed out and my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know what I'm even asking for, really. Maybe I'm just venting. I'm sorry.",3.496626016260162,4.621505573170737,4.657886178861791,86.00967479674797,72.53658536585365,7.580487804878047,26.67479674796748,7.984000788550335,1.487830894308943,945,32,198,13,18,311,132,246,0.118,0.7959999999999999,0.086,-0.752,3,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,2,14,9,0,1,6,0,18,4,2,1,1,40,42,19,0,3,9,0,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,6,17,1,1,7,2,1,5,7,6,0,2,3,5,15,3,27,39,7,27,0,2,1,0,12,10,1,4,8,111,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790235349400628,0.0,0.0,0.08948476710678245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964158450203045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067922449866198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024119008062463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452785948579135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064569413020372,0.0,0.12941842792172525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887501449019184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819750089754175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464260462647502,0.0,0.0,0.1360339816798252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444708964882898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066605391511164,0.10431865422664606,0.14436407086201009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974898718891495,0.12857049015468006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897110908773493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215033217481716,0.0,0.2822343220014432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867207919288988,0.09733257240806203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174492112477508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256696394468712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397118689080648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21858398457476552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670166583857101,0.0,0.0,0.10586421995864066,0.0,0.25613962861527056,0.0,0.10843482772483833,0.0,0.0,0.2865204221522741,0.0,0.0,0.1022029094217042,0.0,0.14659766850369116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20572675768024215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859161430445902,0.08502249167816228,0.08200274437459952,0.0,0.0,0.07462464560635752,0.0,0.12130760225372846,0.0,0.0,0.17377649507649007,0.0,0.12501531474151362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096876147219385,0.10158249577464758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316906453592548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992318635734596,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crazybolllllo,2018/03/25,"I get changed by shows i watch? help I have this problem where whenever i watch a show i start to only be interested in whatever the show is about. 

For example I was following IT at school. 
But after watching a detective show i lost all interest for IT and my grades in school started dropping and i started caring less about it. all i could think of is wanting to become a detective. Its like my entire life plans change by whatever i am watching. Sometime later i started watching a show about a hacker and all of the sudden i was interested in IT again and was doing my best at school again. Nomatter how much i know that these shows are just shows they keep changing my lifes direction. I was so close to quiting IT but now im back in it again.  What could this mean?  I usually do not follow people that much. I am probably the opposite of a ''sheep''' but yet when i watch these shows all of the sudden it changes my mind completely.  Any advice on this would be very apreciated",2.890520833333333,5.128537843750003,4.18041666666667,84.08958333333338,76.8125,7.808333333333334,26.8125,8.680891452615391,2.161175,774,31,150,17,18,254,104,192,0.02,0.899,0.081,0.8343,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,4,14,8,0,0,10,0,17,2,0,1,4,25,31,10,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,16,5,0,1,3,8,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,6,23,6,22,21,8,28,0,1,6,0,2,9,0,0,17,115,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278725160946467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544876237772929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966198685215862,0.0,0.0,0.13877453808266554,0.0,0.0,0.1318657095262795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281122278677828,0.0,0.5316994253325404,0.0,0.13174541746977428,0.0,0.0,0.20064836313754406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564882408919802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422296486861222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572745905338246,0.0,0.0,0.11168670034507697,0.0,0.0,0.06905593690533827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750571888905942,0.0613880059259309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716575655159866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368736158766653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687432439930688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473971973758765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556523115522372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711239061617587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547584191434614,0.12023353309489415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364807926008684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815044792762614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242746314001103,0.0,0.3557530822945421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051375842268624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838969715283167,0.1036773862219108,0.07411375365084373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926071804107466,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TwoTimes2is4,2018/03/26,"Crying spells, fears and anxiety. I'm scared of losing my job, or just getting laid off from lack of business. I'm scared someone close to me is really sick right now, and may not get better. I'm scared I'll lose everything that means so much to me. Is there hope? Can someone tell me anything that will help bring me peace?",2.4643589743589764,4.535170230769236,2.976538461538464,93.01762820512822,77.46153846153845,6.17948717948718,21.602564102564106,7.1686216300943375,0.5095641025641022,255,7,54,3,6,79,49,65,0.35,0.544,0.105,-0.9593,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,4,8,0,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,10,13,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,6,11,2,5,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,3,1,28,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116521613347696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185275877280896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320210288137374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269792957303545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658439840654028,0.0,0.0,0.20764795133832686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281898806457431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236868069083672,0.0,0.0,0.1832802788112812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311790336998213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41288453136427933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100765301004395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565104291409508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821487028154301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575879145116897,0.0,0.0,0.5542412293947496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31270394113886696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128766336362374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JustaLittleDuckie,2018/03/26,"Trying to get better I have had mental health problems all my life but now at 32 I have bipolar, BPD, GAD, emetophobia and agoraphobia. I had a breakdown three years ago that cost me my career and then college career. I lost everything. And I then sought proper help and here we are today.

I take meds though I struggle to stay on them. I go to my appointments, I have a daily journal, I track my mood. I have my day structured for success and I still challenge myself too.

Then I found out about DBT. There is nothing for me within reasonable driving distance and it doesn’t matter because my health insurance won’t cover it. Over these last few years, my therapist has given me some worksheets here and there and I am familiar with a couple DBT techniques. But I am clueless.

So I buy books but I don’t have the attention span to read and the information that I do read gets forgotten as soon as I turn the page. I try to do the DBT workbook but I don’t understand and I get confused. This stresses me out so for three weeks I have been having emotional turmoil over this. I went to some websites and what is free is limited. This is practically a college course. I struggle in school and I always have so now I’m trying to teach myself this specialized therapy using books and websites and it’s not going well. 

I’ve reached out for help on forums but I get told that I’m not trying hard enough and I am choosing to be sick. Everywhere I turn, everyone is going on about DBT but I don’t have access and I’m trying to self educate but it’s not working so I’ve put the books away for now. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next. 

Thanks for reading!",2.0856343556042383,4.33493579819277,3.58122672508215,87.30601496896679,79.57228915662652,6.4338809784592925,24.518437385907262,7.576466943178032,1.2969827309236952,1303,48,259,20,33,429,164,332,0.117,0.792,0.091,-0.8523,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,6,18,16,0,5,9,0,31,5,0,2,2,47,55,33,0,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,14,21,0,1,6,6,3,7,9,7,1,2,8,1,45,9,33,45,6,37,0,1,0,0,7,13,0,3,16,185,59,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949350327203176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911328719490952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062116124577387,0.0,0.0,0.06528533996976639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471859742883253,0.0,0.0,0.13488492819371922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185007985796942,0.0,0.06906870805716707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046971531976786,0.0,0.11065983459258216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233577744297527,0.09625188208575107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742633770791272,0.0,0.0,0.2238150585645143,0.0,0.2434627830776353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593788013205784,0.0,0.0,0.2276782156303474,0.0,0.0,0.1435697293597613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729835280122668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564578158839412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169090317365386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896062882656715,0.0,0.10792859115920904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389887938821805,0.0,0.0,0.10276246434228453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024773696421778,0.0,0.10766207002085912,0.0,0.0,0.3213779597312925,0.0,0.0,0.11011355771658342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838788629814244,0.0,0.0,0.1117255327935694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415115720082185,0.08552780622172527,0.0,0.12267925693392992,0.2239220849351599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093765940079603,0.0,0.08052361907753937,0.0,0.0,0.09860053290546357,0.12247475836422568,0.12434787684924987,0.0,0.0,0.1052222632648582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151543784306108,0.10233577744297527,0.0,0.3635591804795612,0.2329815746660121,0.0,0.11149175877426673,0.0,0.09249742602576022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590675710373533,0.0,0.09629306897458743,0.0992799962293562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796789487282269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793391930694196
mentalhealth,Criminalis,2018/03/26,"If anyone here has Antisocial Personality Disorder... I'm sorry if this comes across as insensitive but I'm targeting people with ASPD for my research. I'd appreciate if anyone could complete my questionnaire! (literally 3 mins at most?)

https://www.allcounted.com/s?did=cah58ahd25lxf&lang=en_US",11.165691056910568,16.295744146341466,9.235975609756096,41.01623983739839,70.95121951219512,11.513821138211384,33.66260162601626,10.125756701596842,6.000947967479675,254,11,25,9,6,77,34,41,0.064,0.833,0.103,0.5577,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,5,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,1,16,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530590411055436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556846991492629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28069148057233195,0.34164820499208143,0.0,0.0,0.2601652278200439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734530731286131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259038109876849,0.2845202172982008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647631227915519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,standardwhack,2018/03/26,"I'm unsure of my Mental Health Situation. I'd love some advice/feedback. Okay, I've never told anyone about this but I suppose the best way to do so is just to straight up say how I've been feeling.

Up until mid-last year, I never gave my mental health much notice. I always thought my state was 'normal.' But recently I've begun to pay more attention.

I started to experience panic attacks last November, just straight up out of the blue. I went to a psychiatrist who confirmed I have Severe Anxiety Disorder. I've had 4 or 5 attacks in total. I was given some Cognitive Behavioral therapy work to complete in order to help me, but I never did it - and funnily, I haven't had an attack since or haven't been back to see my psychiatrist. I think this is strange, it's almost as if I wanted the comfort of knowing I had some disorder or else I finally understood what was going on so that settled it in me.

I should also add, I commonly have negative thoughts. I have absolutely no self-belief/lack confidence and feel like I'm destined to fail in every situation. This has had a major impact when surrounded by new people and when starting a new job. I commonly think 'this is not for me', 'I don't understand this' etc whilst at work. With new people, I feel as if I'm making a fool of myself. Maybe I pile so much pressure on my shoulders that I cannot cope, but I don't mean to do this. I don't want to do this. 

I feel like such a screw up sometimes even though im very educated and have 2 degrees so far. I'm 24 years of age I should also add. It's weird, because when I go to bed at night I worry that my phone which is on charge may catch fire or something. I also check that the front door is locked, then the back door, the front again as I ask myself 'was the front door actually locked?' or I say to myself 'better check the door again.' then I go and check the back door again. I sometimes do this 4 times. I smoke an E-cig and I often worry too if that will catch fire when placed on charge at night. These are just some of the behaviours I commonly express, there are more of course which I can't think of, off the top of my head. 

Anyway, I'm not happy with where I am in life at present, I hate my job and don't have the guts to tell my boss about it or of I should leave. The feeling of monumental failure or leaving will embarrass the shit out of me and I worry about what they'll think. I know that if I left it, I'd be happier but at the same time I'd be extremely worried I won't find anything else ever. I look at my friends and see they're doing quite well and I know I have it in me to succeed but feel as if I never will. I often feel lost, in life. 'What am I going to do?' is the newest thought.

I also need advice from everyone before making a decision. I don't trust myself. I always ring someone to ask what they would do or ask my parents before making a 'big' decision or a decision that's seen as big by others in life. For example 'should I meet my friends tonight?' or 'Will I go on vacation with friends?' then I'd think 'but that's 500 dollars then that will be spent, that's loads!' - so I need convincing. 

I also suffer mildly from torrets syndrome. It's very mild though and I can disguise it well from others. It's more 'ticks' than actual loud outbursts. For example, twitching of the eye or under the breath noises. Had it my entire life. I've come to know it's brought on by the following most of the time: Lack of sleep, stress, playing video games & high intakes of stimulants such as coffee. 

When down, I sometimes think suicidal thoughts, but I'm also aware that I'll never ever act on them. I couldn't put my family and friends through such grief. So I'm convinced I'd never have the guts to do it. But again, I worry about this also.

Sometimes, i suddenly get images in my mind of disastrous situations - for example it could be me stood at the edge of a cliff or something and I fall over and bump into someone else that falls off. Of course, this isn't just a sudden image - I could be thinking about the grand canyon or reading about it and all of a sudden I get this disastrous image in my mind. 

Sometimes I tell myself ill be fine, but deep down I know I need to do something. Find an answer from somewhere perhaps. Hence why I'm outlining everything here. I feel quite embarrassed doing this or as if my friends will find out that it is ME posting this here and think I'm a freak. Well, I'm not - I have many friends & take part in activities like most people, but inside this is how I feel. 

Listen, I'm not here to moan, but I just want to see if anyone has ever undergone similar symptoms to all of this. It's really hard to explain. I constantly strive to make changes in life and 'act happy' but it never really lasts long. I suppose I feel down sometimes, but I've always just got on with it. I look for answers as to who I really am etc but still feel lost as hell 85% of the time. I've never read a self-help book & I'm not too familiar with mental health in its entirety - Just anxiety disorder.

Sorry that this is all converged into one big mess, I'm typing on my phone & simply just expressing my feelings/emotions. If this post would be better suited for another Reddit thread, please do suggest. Thank you. ",2.7930283182431133,4.336415139664808,4.298598214859052,86.23125698324024,74.97765363128491,7.396031593141978,25.10087972773389,8.104835398774808,1.4354983753933095,4116,137,853,66,87,1372,395,1074,0.157,0.7340000000000001,0.109,-0.9951,3,0,4,1,0,0,126.0,0,1,3,12,64,49,7,5,40,1,83,21,8,8,15,174,173,90,2,25,50,1,14,3,6,15,11,5,6,0,62,30,0,0,41,6,6,19,27,21,3,1,28,27,111,28,129,120,22,142,1,5,8,2,33,58,3,32,63,577,173,13,0.0,0.0,0.08130954173939113,0.0,0.0,0.04071029108946786,0.0,0.0,0.04171710883382277,0.0,0.0,0.2332119674847032,0.1039949589152748,0.18055712570310825,0.0,0.0,0.04368480903802368,0.06374054463190057,0.0,0.0,0.0582601703440591,0.0,0.034283153503209464,0.0,0.11684121195181252,0.1421849624591201,0.0,0.09610337199460596,0.0,0.025395936871067167,0.0,0.07090026513903715,0.0,0.04372026695905176,0.07369089360437205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044071428616702615,0.0358869488108786,0.043680383953512605,0.04502034703004585,0.0,0.06652525537370227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324009362134768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440634617071844,0.046862607846617374,0.0,0.0,0.09292524269827612,0.027516456999794985,0.11305329044753955,0.03510088242497006,0.03980852278316902,0.0374418931157154,0.04075209580938702,0.039273939680232864,0.0,0.23171356115060554,0.05952473300307413,0.0,0.04563719010457808,0.11423119897893115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312142300474092,0.0,0.043531925396504495,0.0,0.11838349682251165,0.0,0.03331981617803406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869704285719186,0.03731974664612394,0.0411312527716774,0.042755831369683014,0.13284992297834114,0.0,0.0,0.05584849194482557,0.04401674899387192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04500063560728086,0.0,0.08268350527383501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447797943282365,0.10187693551330844,0.0,0.08822519586937241,0.04526440263602157,0.0,0.14713069539586154,0.06105984679733612,0.0,0.0,0.036868351651960125,0.0699688830557788,0.0,0.09095501045146344,0.0,0.037600350301093766,0.0,0.11123519144389064,0.042237345751679235,0.04185370817746192,0.04538064556188455,0.0,0.0,0.12595236643931804,0.0,0.08413073198353474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061250721615827626,0.09267250057824497,0.2570500046758443,0.12070830482366615,0.0,0.07819136895858353,0.04081857764113098,0.0,0.047430909922302616,0.0,0.0,0.028230324967602263,0.0,0.0,0.048879779763178574,0.04625920579272113,0.045114408714217034,0.0,0.0866467177903,0.0,0.04352649734084402,0.04573086759561555,0.0,0.0,0.07979874596366232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04188044567010525,0.0,0.08862242845098453,0.08334381941252507,0.0,0.08006661012239373,0.0,0.041134851823191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626041936230212,0.0,0.0,0.0995943986079658,0.0,0.08692225786143783,0.047064660165113584,0.04276404391443001,0.03446210839869232,0.14048490027406646,0.04169072255946743,0.0,0.07059784294838889,0.09621717825665466,0.2472206040783229,0.04663567091179812,0.058975224815072995,0.0,0.03327023752244655,0.0,0.04772211749109871,0.0,0.0,0.04556997371194826,0.0,0.0,0.04330135211321274,0.03132361335132935,0.0,0.07282646381870278,0.038355516112504894,0.04764256773660806,0.0,0.0,0.21355562562926508,0.08186272619680472,0.1322955649784192,0.09717060691912788,0.0,0.0,0.03980852278316902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043370191053409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874877509130323,0.07371756705953637,0.03306827351264942,0.0,0.0,0.1123737443321469,0.03861982671711802,0.03759224386390729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065887799855758,0.2115419892801158,0.0,0.05918904066465745,0.0,0.0,0.0536561670463873
mentalhealth,Sin_and_Weary_Souls,2018/03/26,"Anger. During an hour and 15 min walk, I got super angry. 
The type of angry ""Imma smash so and so face into the floor, I wouldn't mind if I got run over rn."" I just got super angry, sad, and bad thoughts all over. It wasnt a fun walk. It freakin sucks. 
It got so bad my datemate said i looked mad. And I was just overall tired, and i felt for school on a not so good terms with him. 
Anybody know why I just got so mad, sad, and ready to walk into traffic??",-0.2566666666666677,1.463401969696971,1.7396868686868707,100.22286363636366,84.85858585858584,4.364040404040405,15.960606060606061,4.935628992294339,-1.0788109090909086,341,6,86,1,10,113,62,99,0.358,0.56,0.08199999999999999,-0.9866,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,8,12,4,0,5,0,3,2,1,0,1,20,14,12,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,9,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,8,0,0,10,3,10,4,9,3,2,13,0,2,1,0,2,6,1,1,3,47,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150402857167732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18113964767576987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582359662967476,0.7544284460012115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857884683695184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368057694363852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158423790305935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190489098295582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794553574411627,0.0,0.0,0.19093026267563606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977204100741526,0.0,0.2168326816452362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023298068878776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tompauly,2018/03/26,"What type of therapy do I need to look into. Throw away account I bought off of a website. I have been told I should look into therapy and don't know where to start or what anything means with all these things at the end of their names. 

I have hidden my alternate life (drugs, alcoholism, etc from everyone I know except a select group of friends) I believe the term for my is ""functioning addict"" I have been able to hold down a job and keep up appearances as well as pay my bills. I have a nice apartment and new car and never struggle financially. Roughly 40% of my budget is substances. 

Dermatophagia; I do that shit. It's related to impulse control and OCD apparantly?

I also pick at scabs and my skin constantly and can never stop shaking my leg.

Messes make me depressed. People tell me my apartment is more like a hotel room than a home. 

I'm extremely nostalgic and fixate on past memories.

I have constant light feeling in my chest and if I don't smoke a cig/pot or drink my hands shake violently.

I'm a compulsive liar and use it to manipulate people into accepting me.

It seems like every time I drink or do drugs I create a new persona to push onto people.

I have an innate ability to learn what people hurt from and then use it against them to redirect blame.

I've been keeping a log of any thoughts that I think are abnormal or destructive. I noticed my handwriting changes drastically with my mood.

I have never connected intimately with anyone. I can also ghost/cut someone out of my life without a hint of remorse or pain.

I obsess and over analyze, especially with women.

I talk to myself often when I am alone.

I used to be a poly-substance abuser. I very much wish I still was.

I have severe self confidence issues but project confidence like its my profession.

My parents were spoiling but also neglectful. I have never had to work for anything in life due to their success. I barely have any contact with them anymore. I quit hard drugs, moved away, and now live in a city alone with no contact to anyone from my past life. I have minor verbal and physical abuse but mostly abandonment.

I was sex crazed as a kid. I had slept with over 100 women by the time I graduated high school.  But my sex life has become stale over the last 3 years and I have lost interest in sex. 

I am a 23 year old male. 

Thanks",3.667957754697163,5.629816720620848,4.815624343564012,81.6759140506477,73.58980044345898,8.028964873380794,27.611214844205858,8.766177420268882,2.244521951219512,1835,71,344,37,38,603,252,451,0.119,0.782,0.099,-0.8376,2,2,7,0,2,0,48.0,0,0,4,5,10,26,4,4,20,0,36,23,6,7,5,72,62,33,0,4,12,1,5,3,1,1,12,0,2,5,12,26,3,7,9,3,5,7,8,15,1,0,13,8,60,10,61,47,6,57,0,5,2,3,18,25,1,10,28,234,72,9,0.07943683622047845,0.18823932262736312,0.0,0.0865978767977323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489381963515891,0.0,0.1645452108561681,0.0,0.19057682767733453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803954527021843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877999621607587,0.11108816576759543,0.0,0.13073949550471262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492670450597696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877317445702613,0.0,0.08949811198885507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403363977266927,0.0,0.0,0.17168599900252066,0.08909516647255185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841883063676174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563571515334196,0.2763645314681513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035745878919439,0.0,0.08859307056517025,0.0,0.0,0.06692896059840597,0.07590530119949651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04016565120294237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061372702612349526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115980226879019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392937885188488,0.07968162361287047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503877612574716,0.0,0.0,0.08291141867620401,0.07882880264391696,0.14121421986982696,0.0,0.0,0.08731281546807003,0.06475162381298627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805429332443368,0.11642647700322308,0.0,0.0701441817329875,0.0,0.13341387149353665,0.0,0.0867146904888502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530247050143117,0.0,0.0,0.08653000235062293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844287854356782,0.058395214741572936,0.05890140751698784,0.2450663408753937,0.1534411828479916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043936454082016,0.08335559689923876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845263944519748,0.0,0.08820520590707705,0.0,0.15166289727564158,0.2202860008192757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449085339392368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039431918540654,0.0,0.07231631225620448,0.08286994470820086,0.0897410141326651,0.08154077084231111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730657354733445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056225801536006856,0.0,0.06343836001841861,0.06641275202638804,0.0,0.0830446288039085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384831994014456,0.06943129617698426,0.0731347661162839,0.1816858904140812,0.0,0.05277430424692818,0.05089991713121872,0.0,0.06306397477834938,0.09264051602855183,0.0,0.0,0.07590530119949651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582376441833816,0.0,0.06554370918038868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142325574272246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913484413261401,0.07657427540643016,0.0,0.057830962856661526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230943617401687
mentalhealth,throwaway7942920,2018/03/26,"Is there anywhere I can find help or advice to fix my low mental health? 23M here. This is about a relationship. Really, I just don't know what to do. I went to a pshycologist for about 5 hours this past months, 300€ already and I don't want to 'waste' more... It helped me for the last two months, but something in my life has destroyed me again..

Yea, I have friends to talk, already did. I don't want to bash them with my problems. I want to fix this myself. Maybe with reddit help, I tried posting in relationships but I guess the post was too long for someone to read so I deleted it a day after.

I don't know really, I just feel the need to explain my situation to somebody, I am not on the suicide/huge depression side, but I'm destroyed, this post would be huge, may be there's a subreddit or something with people willing to read a huge post just to give an external opinion on my situation. Not because there is something I can fix with the situation, just because I want to fix myself in life.",3.0344889162561546,4.488689354679807,4.2970412561576365,86.85275400246306,74.17241379310343,7.242487684729066,26.973214285714285,7.8658589789855275,1.473739162561576,781,29,166,11,16,257,106,203,0.12,0.802,0.078,-0.7514,0,0,3,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,0,13,6,2,0,11,1,20,3,0,0,0,31,33,7,0,7,11,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,2,0,1,6,5,0,1,3,1,25,1,28,25,1,23,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,5,9,112,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800342766472187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439334418607529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474962509131982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071279268213623,0.0,0.0951947357051988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055884593687236805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101754540690107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853910853243559,0.0,0.0,0.10602533389896192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175538388318652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748255508762638,0.0,0.0,0.2222470681930568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884453575041196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148293554280358,0.09009235700160786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613368504317293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781085431221988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110368858260103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138287096362497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643947311919506,0.0,0.0,0.08195264182476608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550830296332248,0.07662388933127587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234083253534691,0.0,0.0,0.10575718182690708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211091576682694,0.0,0.1416098665848256,0.0,0.0,0.2373242642270824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727030772487196,0.0,0.0,0.09364719362242936,0.25526187049629584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883554257440476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503899541737143,0.0,0.10796654203274733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607612541682759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245747573014642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851355395519935,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CloneMeta,2018/03/26,"Help I have no control over my thoughts.  I always think the absolute worst things possible, and I mean that literally.  Whatever the worst thoughts I can imagine are, that's what pops into my head PRECISELY BECAUSE I don't want to.  It's a fucked up cycle that I can't stop, no matter what I do.  24 hours a day.  I can't even function!  I want to beat my head with my fists ALL THE TIME.

To make matters 10x worse, I don't have health insurance, so I can't even see a Doctor.  I feel like there is a constant pressure on the inside of my skull, like my brain is about to explode.

WTF DO I DO?  I NEED THIS TO END.

I literally get myself to sleep by imagining how peaceful it would be if I died in my sleep!

HELP ME.",-0.05613333333333159,2.129778053333336,2.1346666666666683,94.60066666666668,88.46666666666668,5.466666666666668,21.0,6.937597516519254,0.4464000000000001,548,19,126,8,18,184,91,150,0.222,0.667,0.111,-0.9532,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,1,8,0,16,9,6,3,2,23,28,4,1,5,1,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,2,25,2,15,24,3,11,0,0,1,1,2,5,1,1,8,85,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828757692618568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131094651995932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855286152760659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795977834339026,0.1864018557845237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718204410703587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248420028301314,0.0,0.0,0.17010765347393636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719946553586985,0.0,0.0,0.21954049718094495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403319977328849,0.1187297612312085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364462538174772,0.08683004269829878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34112809204887057,0.1766575431648811,0.0,0.0,0.22279404809391629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636686251694829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238899171962656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093647173485716,0.0,0.0,0.18103510726549224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232315074339022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873599228408016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243591999624646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326301041811638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894648515292848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041259182556334,0.10649106329983256,0.0,0.26388057618039784,0.09690965734868433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605226699232936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693669319999503,0.11806017954345363,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AreYouASmartGuy,2018/03/26,"Does anyone else on seroquel XR get depression when they don't sleep quite enough or well enough ? Anyone know exactly why that is ? I take 600 mg seroquel XR right before I go to sleep for the past 9 or so years. When I sleep perfectly I am in a really great place feel really great etc. But If I don't get about 9 hours of really good sleep I have pretty classic symptoms of depression. I tend to sleep well most nights because of good diet exercise I've done evey trick in the book to ensure I sleep well but when I dont sleep well I am kind of a mess and its harder the following night to sleep well.

How I feel when I don't get my 9 good hours of sleep.

Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood

Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism

Irritability

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities

Decreased energy or fatigue

basically just classic depression symptoms

Its weird because for most people 8 hours is a pretty good night of sleep but for me I feel like total shit. But if I get that 9 hours? I feel amazing. The problem is some days I wake up too early or if it takes me too long to fall asleep its hard to get 9 hours. TLDR I try my best but sometimes shit happens.

Does anyone share this experience ? Lately I've been trying to change my diet and experiment to find out if theres something that can help such as higher diet in healthy fats or tryptophan or whatever. I'm trying to learn more about seroquel impacting the brain to see if I can get any ideas. Thanks

",5.6501368421052645,6.275928006666671,6.143894736842108,79.13668421052634,67.26666666666667,9.515789473684213,30.12280701754386,9.549672527348893,2.621433333333333,1222,43,234,24,19,396,156,300,0.177,0.602,0.221,0.9444,0,0,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,1,5,18,37,3,1,8,0,14,23,16,1,3,43,36,30,0,6,21,0,7,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,4,4,0,10,2,0,3,4,16,5,0,2,8,24,20,32,34,9,30,0,9,1,0,3,9,2,18,19,134,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041842418943887086,0.0,0.0,0.06951123499079262,0.0,0.12906933919788538,0.06304461915324631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501607063401708,0.0,0.05235738422097686,0.0,0.06457179845321633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868767979301635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509043983762429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03968167344013363,0.0,0.15898675071210547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769040105376038,0.06296641580405828,0.07211254489945249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514003078441601,0.0,0.0,0.1271535994449918,0.06862206546393235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037603153770735,0.0,0.0,0.18666809460378167,0.04395694868533095,0.0,0.0,0.056237182970888026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928808931301528,0.0,0.03496884090012424,0.20643332991107805,0.0,0.13567378934150584,0.0,0.0,0.0544106574476797,0.0,0.05511867438997167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124217229911863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029726196435136,0.0,0.0,0.06945972946366921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640738871440309,0.03381520530142736,0.0,0.0694083690908776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030060384616548762,0.0,0.0,0.05445199532753054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322483375628392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058737219507720324,0.042657061868874684,0.0,0.06428561418208675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519598855996658,0.0,0.058875772133728174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544458653158773,0.0,0.0,0.11825282349025228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254616951478774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049031337038007994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631904682893808,0.0,0.0,0.6157430230241389,0.0,0.0,0.04736869705412127,0.06085461095567414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279061806289926,0.09252560374541603,0.0,0.0,0.05664843397011759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532422060663298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27661369562864885,0.0,0.05552113385899204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03962321647688508
mentalhealth,Concerned_Partner_,2018/03/26,"Is my boyfriend mentally ill, or just excited about his new perspective on life? Mike, my boyfriend (28M) of five years, is going through a period of growth and self-realization, and I’m not sure whether I should be concerned about it. 

He had a very rough time a couple of months ago. He was going through a lot, including digging into his past and recognizing that he had been using substances as a coping mechanism. I was very worried about Mike’s mental health, and he began seeing a therapist during that time. He is no longer in therapy; however, his therapist indicated that he was comfortable with discontinuing their work together since he felt that Mike had gained the tools he needed to continue handling his problems on his own. 

Since then, Mike has become very interested in spirituality. This is something I have been supportive of, since I have also used spirituality to cope with emotionally challenging situations in my past.  At first, he began exploring Buddhist concepts, then Western and Eastern philosophers. He started practicing yoga, and believes that a lot of the emotional pain he’s been dealing with has been stored up in his body for many years. He now practices for varying amounts of time several times per day (I would estimate 5-8 sessions between 15 minutes and one hour each), and often exclaims about the realizations he has as he restores alignment in his body. This typically follows a pattern with certain noises and sensations, followed by an epiphany. For example, “You are never going to believe what just happened! I was moving my leg like *this,* and when I curled my fingers I heard a big pop and felt a shooting sensation go from the right side of my neck all down my arm. That’s when I realized what must have happened that time with my dad when I was 6 years old! It was like all those emotions just came flooding back and now I understand everything.” It may be worth noting that he has not received any formal yoga instruction, but is entirely self-taught. 

As part of his exploration, he started reading the Baghavad Gita last week. It really seems to have made an impression on him, and he often practices yoga while reading it. He is very interested in the concepts of consciousness that he’s read, and he believes it is helping him tap into his intuition. In fact, last night he told me he believes he is capable of what I can only describe as pre-cognition. He asked me to open up books with illustrations and then he tried to predict what the pictures were. He also believes he predicted that we would run into an old friend of his, that several of his current coworkers would be absent from work today, and other things. 

Mike doesn’t seem willing to accept the logical explanations that I’ve suggested to explain his sudden pre-cognitive abilities, such as confirmation bias. He says I don’t have to believe him, but he now feels like he is tapped into the universe and can trust himself for the first time. 

As this process of self-exploration escalates, I’m becoming more and more concerned. I don’t want to be close-minded and reject all of his ideas about spirituality and consciousness simply because they’re not for me or because I don’t understand them. I am trying to be open-minded and listen to him, but he has become borderline obsessive and his ideas are becoming extremely outlandish. I’m not sure how to describe it, exactly, but it seems like he might be experiencing something outside the normal human experience. I'm glad his emotional pain from a few months ago has dissipated, but am worried these new coping techniques have become a problem. I’m concerned about his mental state, but do I have a reason to be? Also, how can I best support him as he explores this spiritual side of himself without encouraging unhealthy behaviors?

TL;DR: My partner has become obsessed with spirituality and I am concerned, but I’m not sure if I should be. ",8.295042253521128,8.560999511267607,8.25137323943662,67.51903169014089,61.63380281690141,11.381690140845071,39.58098591549296,11.00357731598739,4.64667323943662,3143,155,510,76,40,1018,326,710,0.055,0.835,0.11,0.9888,3,0,2,1,0,0,83.0,1,1,2,7,24,29,0,2,27,0,67,11,6,6,11,110,107,53,0,12,20,1,5,4,2,9,5,3,0,2,33,38,0,0,20,7,2,14,12,7,0,4,22,10,59,22,80,68,13,86,0,1,1,0,75,23,0,12,52,345,92,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735828031475524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174734525621842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03734431789404048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133843477739525,0.0,0.0,0.042226510771452966,0.0,0.06695176951111231,0.3638981060613981,0.0,0.37122473294410013,0.05763026682708339,0.0,0.0,0.12199713757762035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280852534540095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060762785007052025,0.0,0.03541585464987433,0.05661530962289525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24708948798899155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049354371344319324,0.05371774507821482,0.0,0.0,0.027766848577384737,0.03923153361564538,0.10545468662270134,0.0,0.0,0.0934219292237897,0.0,0.0,0.04242745951289685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483862490948515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971229168789126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058372444038139286,0.0,0.0,0.03680859835193835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408055321242623,0.0,0.0,0.12398548092565613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952667165636588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038788332386256466,0.1073154552219332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337412547196834,0.0,0.051962227468334884,0.0,0.055675540774187564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602525533979298,0.05825650310491488,0.11089768818452116,0.0,0.08766580930323788,0.05836632123602286,0.0,0.04071903266936755,0.042354099676605785,0.10607516527362752,0.0,0.051534331444940316,0.05380537870831471,0.0,0.0,0.11524883415853253,0.0,0.0372120591583295,0.04176559463906624,0.11686759832084305,0.0,0.0,0.059467967439026215,0.10484582167440873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050931378402179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479061835203326,0.06250568538792559,0.03518017635173869,0.056462121049713175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689740478689633,0.0,0.0436708866794021,0.0,0.0,0.04376042024656214,0.14997860350481287,0.17186604504698988,0.12407741819060135,0.0,0.13627962319859435,0.06172714891817034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455303138128137,0.0,0.0,0.07773872802430852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246345660155248,0.15527118899103984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280048320747186,0.12752189685866086,0.036483315243596486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921294765792676,0.0,0.0520533262094966,0.052473965727033986,0.0,0.07456782936686471,0.0,0.0,0.1143376221874632,0.0,0.0948584529163174,0.0,0.18124364410939,0.032390493433045564,0.0,0.04404977751299117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293643315753198,0.0,0.0799580507539561,0.1115383975012169,0.0,0.11703085699149905,0.0,0.0,0.1060910456024212
mentalhealth,Anti-Itch,2018/03/26,"How do I calm down when I'm irritated by my housemates? One of my housemates and her boyfriend are loud people. Our kitchen makes noises echo and she and him eat their meals there so I hear so much of their conversations even though I'm on the second floor. And it's not even their conversations - its like they have no regard when making food and they are loud with pots and pans and they slam their utensils around. Its really irritating especially during the day or late at night for me. I've brought it up with her before that they are really loud but she treats it like a curfew and really is only mindful after like 10 or 11 pm.

I really think I'm the one being sensitive here and I want to learn to calm down at times like these. For some reason it fills me with so much rage when they are together and being like this and I feel uncomfortable being in the same vicinity as them and I don't even look at them/make eye contact anymore. 

Are there any ways to get around this within my own head?",2.8478055555555533,4.9087485250000045,3.670333333333332,88.53822222222225,76.25,7.044444444444442,20.11111111111111,7.984000788550335,0.6937277777777773,795,18,166,13,18,253,118,200,0.078,0.821,0.101,0.5988,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,10,0,16,9,1,0,5,0,12,6,2,4,0,32,24,24,0,1,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,10,17,4,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,1,7,27,8,24,20,5,23,0,0,2,0,20,12,0,3,13,117,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487497522050604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294492642241778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745772203092533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122996976224433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945922400717733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780569166043795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055828194407424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797833032503937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648359048734628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057365148455835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827434345414962,0.0,0.1738172922141442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396702132023772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37672082199731466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295060658758004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588626546111485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557183656876897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267390772036784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472514262085245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090070994579125,0.11729135648614356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691681837221786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39518945116203735,0.15856397652749324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881803064815102,0.1515204923760806,0.0,0.08992699662525729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096302698067787,0.12241275895498124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slowInternetFTW,2018/03/26,"Getting my fake conversations confused Does anyone else have conversations with people in their head? It's so much easier than actually talking to the real version of them. They understand what your trying to say and they know what your getting at. I spend a lot of time alone talking to fake versions of people I know. I even spent 2 hours on a soapbox talking to ""Reddit"" before I posted this, their response was that I'm whining too much.  

Yesterday I got a fake conversation mixed up with a real one. I thought a co-worker told me they were feeling sick and I needed to cover for them. Today I asked my friend where their new gaming laptop was and be looked at me like I was crazy. 

Does anyone else do this? How do you stop everything from mixing up?


-----

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does this. I'll probably go over this a bunch in my head, but I won't actually bring it up unless it keeps getting more confused. ",3.0576086956521737,5.017970195652175,4.414565217391306,83.8951086956522,75.30434782608695,6.773913043478261,24.54347826086957,7.6454224807358475,1.2853543478260865,732,24,141,10,16,242,111,184,0.113,0.835,0.052000000000000005,-0.8201,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,8,0,5,9,0,2,8,0,9,3,2,1,0,23,30,7,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,11,5,0,2,6,1,2,2,2,6,0,2,8,3,26,3,24,20,7,19,0,1,1,0,23,10,0,3,7,95,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.2412680963804473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803172274356742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287418048381425,0.25332399478675405,0.0,0.0,0.11556682517758865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519043421614403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245387508267806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653517288606046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164900523918121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110054347449916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250534417710989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550752409021816,0.0,0.19375705263202986,0.0,0.0702553730108921,0.0,0.098869191106585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25373696181414684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217395478788464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987800709451713,0.0,0.0,0.20381286317241654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603938672179155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038085989639492,0.0,0.0,0.1050962235342685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174798049587568,0.09166172187184232,0.0,0.11939173967823005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753450134955378,0.094017614580962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140332456005686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839257189462475,0.0,0.1332818990354957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814103564767174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830657572854057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335079349726414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980801575573566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813946321399472,0.07208307553451923,0.0,0.11717610160981423,0.11812299400723172,0.0,0.08392900307224697,0.0,0.0,0.12869145750015945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999590767706726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xd_00901_20,2018/03/26,"[Louisiana] Insurance is requiring unspecified information from employer before processing claim I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit or not, and this is a throwaway account:

I live in Louisiana and visited a counselor at the beginning of March. The counselor contacted me and told me that my insurance was denying the claim - pending information from me.

This morning, I call the insurance company to see what information they need, and the rep tells me that they have requested ""mandatory information from my employer"". The rep was unable to tell me what this information is, or why my employer even needs to be involved in the first place.

I know the best advice is probably ""talk to my employer"", but I'm a bit unnerved by this whole scenario, and I'm looking to find some advice and information before I have that conversation.

1) Is this normal?

2) What information is my employer being asked for?

3) Is this going to be a regular occurrence? My next appointment is scheduled soon. Am I going to have to talk to someone in HR every time I see my counselor?

If I'm in the wrong sub, please remove my post, and thanks in advance for any help or advice.

Edit: Just heard back from my counselor, I had asked her very similar questions in an email:

""I've never heard of that, sorry.""",6.36165254237288,7.680937919491531,7.412500000000005,68.1900211864407,65.99152542372882,11.493220338983052,35.936440677966104,11.333407214811013,4.675437288135592,1023,50,171,33,16,345,120,236,0.031,0.904,0.064,0.8285,5,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,2,4,4,4,0,0,15,0,19,0,0,0,2,33,38,13,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,14,7,0,1,10,0,1,5,3,1,0,1,6,5,24,3,25,29,4,24,0,0,3,0,28,9,0,7,9,121,38,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991890002952208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259974897752428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545997057316421,0.0,0.0,0.10470573619065256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317399786319261,0.0,0.14290121075011758,0.0,0.1486615366726896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139044013170997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993849521795176,0.0,0.1147284530907296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445621352080373,0.11582548139806155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477622810138966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127136763550148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483505020909123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023992889757106,0.0,0.1143478619751895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201935524139953,0.10502210829906786,0.0,0.1448175258151225,0.0,0.1334169384527886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226786802431932,0.14947292874920992,0.0,0.0,0.13041248610431325,0.0,0.14681346580927027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525407065576915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162877823417673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701850018951813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537575060006255,0.0,0.0,0.15243030980761724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833789212420374,0.0,0.0,0.21889534556283646,0.2380358259040231,0.12536633631620145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940137574567255,0.0,0.0,0.13011553907519585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235387935000653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228715544668884,0.15202808755950664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488796818426014,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SauceHankRedemption,2018/03/26,"Need Bi-Polar Disorder Advice Fast My significant other is exhibiting (what I think are) severe symptoms of bi-polar disorder. 

She has gone from being relatively stable as of last week, went away to a professional conference over the weekend, and now she has gone into a state of complete hysteria.

She has gone from happiness to anger to being sexually aroused to completely breaking down crying (multiple times), to even hinting towards suicide (my own interpretation of her comments) ALL IN THE SAME DAY (yesterday). Waking up today, her manic personality fluctuations have not appeared to have improved, and I think she might have skipped work. 

She keeps on saying completely random things to me and changing the subject ""I think I want to get a new dress"", ""I am thinking about getting a haircut"", ""I am thinking about starting a new business"", ""Are you excited about going to the basketball game later"" (no game later). 

I am extremely worried and would like some advice on how to approach this.

As long as I have know her she has been relatively stable although she does have history of depression which she saw a psychiatrist about and has a history of severe head trauma as a child (not sure if that matters).

Any advice means a lot.
",9.825329441201001,9.354391908256883,9.676705587989991,60.9837656380317,58.81651376146789,12.51442869057548,42.295246038365306,11.741389052700956,5.352911926605505,988,49,148,25,11,324,133,218,0.14300000000000002,0.7659999999999999,0.09,-0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,1,0,1,7,7,1,0,13,0,21,4,3,1,2,31,41,12,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,2,6,6,0,1,8,3,0,7,3,3,0,0,6,2,23,4,35,31,5,33,0,1,1,1,18,9,0,6,16,116,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516606459159277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815746113069409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127031879968752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689819239830874,0.0,0.3773166839114524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131766708233922,0.07736209255083634,0.0,0.1033184562432206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749613454043961,0.0,0.1049748416700044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923021249999644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534476003668427,0.0,0.06817410838764698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769604665580608,0.0,0.0,0.12311009389977927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662295058797716,0.0,0.0,0.0659250181598628,0.09778065116484053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860474257285634,0.0,0.0,0.1061578289650866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198282390795634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066791961195887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725501133449288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894630964268764,0.0,0.2317096914467021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474148878689524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539431450882634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27103366004931884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490590911410055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121306645124456,0.0,0.11305768948169705,0.12468085297073593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969384441909734,0.38431677448750096,0.0,0.0,0.06994766654563747,0.0,0.11370484433056707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075351916555878,0.0,0.09622196043251112,0.0,0.0,0.111200983379986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873298439888697,0.12182176479668455,0.0,0.08521373717493283,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bananaboe,2018/03/26,"Unreal feeling Hi I've had this unreal feeling for over a year and really dunno ehat to with it. It was easier in summer and almost forgot but by autumn it came back. I'm 16 years old and try to convince myself that its just because of puberty or something. And I know it doesnt effect me any way really only that its really hard to sometimes talk when you cant consentrate because of it and I know that it would propably go away if I stoppes thinking about it but it is really hard no to think about when it is always in my mind from morning to night till I go to sleep. 

So do you have any tips how to forget this feeling or have you had the same problem and ""cured"" from it please tell me how",3.6205517241379326,4.380475641379316,5.038793103448279,84.7630172413793,71.89655172413794,8.282758620689657,24.84482758620689,8.548686976883017,1.4987103448275865,548,15,115,9,10,184,90,145,0.08800000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.077,-0.5569,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,1,9,2,0,0,2,0,11,1,1,3,0,32,23,17,0,3,6,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,17,8,0,1,8,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,5,5,11,1,21,17,1,18,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,5,10,82,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468884754072793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684880865886004,0.0,0.0,0.2236849113493039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545211323226981,0.126464129634166,0.0,0.20051377923496785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810518194132755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494767107584401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869395286926868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29465829428136303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807723212716729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606368083078574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543401113044122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257930192357274,0.0,0.0,0.12508373242748894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053417631025714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737166018073628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42144428241102505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645846810431937,0.0,0.0,0.1266138893104208,0.16266098615224792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219146517039349,0.14375045073886572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210766223102978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111661554167113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054538071306626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683186067535635,0.0,0.0,0.2118213021310318
mentalhealth,Wombat789,2018/03/26,"I feel like I'm losing it Edit: deleted, why'd this turn into an announcement?
Edit again: it's no longer an announcement but I lost the post. Bleh",-1.0751428571428576,0.03092120000000165,1.4214285714285744,92.50500000000002,120.33333333333334,4.380952380952381,14.285714285714285,6.18269132825596,-0.07842857142857129,116,3,23,2,7,39,24,30,0.218,0.722,0.06,-0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,3,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,12,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146612204582289,0.3032929308816673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740980496732625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749539689657127,0.4634378065462698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065939370572372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617798485074916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rick-Jay,2018/03/26,"Does anybody else experience this falling feeling in certain situations or environments? So for about 8 years now I've had this weird thing with my head, it's basically a feeling that I'm constantly falling, or infact the the ground below me is falling, this triggers a fear response making me feel the urge to escape from the situation/environment causing it. This feeling usually comes about in certain situations or environments, most notably when I'm in wide open spaces I feel unsteady like I'm not properly anchored to the ground or something and I need to escape to somewhere indoors or somewhere I can hold onto something. and also in situations that are difficult to get out of without needing a reason (ie, meetings/interviews/at the cinema),or sometimes just randomly at home or work or anywhere really.
It isn't always intense, it ranges anywhere from just an uncomfortable feeling to an intense falling sensation which causes panic attacks. It has really started to affect my social life and work life because I'm actively avoiding situations that I know might trigger this feeling.
I've tried to look online to see if anyone has described this elsewhere, I've found some people describing similar symptoms but nothing exactly the same, it'll range from people claiming Agoraphobia/Casadasrtaphobia or even anxiety or an inner ear issue. I'm basically looking to see if anyone else experiences this, or something similar, and if anyone has been successful in treating or curing this, whatever it might be.",11.922086513994913,10.85189328244275,11.435687022900765,51.96195292620867,55.10687022900765,13.771501272264633,50.45928753180662,12.602617957971056,6.90362493638677,1248,75,162,33,12,411,151,262,0.08800000000000001,0.831,0.081,-0.0025,0,1,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,9,11,1,3,13,0,13,5,2,7,3,56,37,22,0,5,19,0,7,1,0,3,3,3,1,0,20,8,0,2,10,0,0,5,3,6,0,0,3,14,8,5,28,30,3,26,0,0,4,0,1,15,0,19,7,111,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074404930989898,0.08401343960233157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724022086034038,0.0,0.0,0.21179745720986626,0.10345361733780972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486564233994345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154913749810551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074438366562216,0.0,0.08697496603343162,0.0,0.10911050628423924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835775115470194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869156639140534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668839208174962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753209822832027,0.0,0.11361703726932508,0.35736707645536125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070616785989533,0.0,0.0,0.052751597143069616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036222667105665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127910656037648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538432861228632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548935589490677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263332669453474,0.049327850162573066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957533111114667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739690415406614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142221211445705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497329411220884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688149055173048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846415829409687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399969550013722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936533431704908,0.10381188958259507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091679980368515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539689156983276,0.0,0.10292413044767684,0.0,0.2331902289828661,0.09985990429645444,0.0,0.07146564900427081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494438100869397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707863295359652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685506240708794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120195455502127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973295202461058,0.0,0.14701176969247756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502006245971256
mentalhealth,chairrolll,2018/03/26,"steep decline in mental well being I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for the past 7 years now, if not longer. Recently my depression has taken a dive off the deep end and i’m falling back to my pre-medicated ways of binging and purging food and suicidal thoughts and it sucks",3.3635151515151485,6.201398836363641,4.290454545454549,80.62901515151516,78.81818181818181,8.03030303030303,30.984848484848484,8.841846274778883,3.160757575757575,236,12,41,6,6,76,47,55,0.317,0.65,0.033,-0.9545,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,7,6,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,3,0,2,1,6,3,0,11,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,6,25,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955825441218855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659012017070202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44040669643226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264427476057236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30915037238841603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839854809064634,0.0,0.2576495531861213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24406057125968386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252437722900473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672759113798825,0.0,0.2796553259976288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029689526811149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293447759733976,0.0,0.0,0.2298729736926239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463947271497284
mentalhealth,sourgreg,2018/03/26,"PTSD/C-PTSD Episode + New Symptom Question I have diagnosed PTSD. I was diagnosed two years ago and have been doing really great ever since. I have recently been under immense amounts of stress and I think I'm going through a depressive episode because of it. I have had episodes since my diagnosis but this is the first one I've had where I have genuinely felt like hurting myself. In the past, I have been able to use coping skills to make the feelings go away. It's not as easy this time. I haven't hurt myself yet but I'm scared I will before this episode is over.

I experience some psychotic symptoms with my PTSD that not everyone with PTSD experiences. I have hallucinations, mostly auditory, and I dissociate pretty often and strongly. I also have nightmares often and they have increased in frequency over the past couple weeks. I am experiencing more auditory hallucinations tonight than I ever have before, and they are stronger. I also believe that I am feeling depersonalization for the first time ever. I looked into the mirror and I saw myself but I feel like it's not me. And if I look at it for too long, it makes me feel sick, as if I'm looking at a gory open wound. That's the best way I can describe it. Like I know it's me, but the fact that I can't recognize it as myself makes me nauseous.

My question is, should these new and worsening symptoms worry me? Is it urgent that I let my doctor know? Or do you think that these symptoms will go away after this episode, if I can just make it through?",3.56047880690738,5.722022112244903,4.673741496598642,81.69442700156985,74.47619047619048,7.3802197802197815,27.63422291993721,8.263242389622931,1.9682992150706444,1207,48,229,21,26,395,146,294,0.08900000000000001,0.78,0.132,0.9168,0,0,0,0,0,3,31.0,0,1,2,5,11,11,0,2,10,0,33,9,0,5,4,50,57,22,0,4,12,0,5,3,0,3,9,0,0,0,22,13,0,0,11,0,0,4,5,5,0,4,8,10,42,6,25,45,6,36,0,3,4,0,5,12,0,10,22,171,64,1,0.08227414147171402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729310622770391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158920242020222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545985284235962,0.0,0.0,0.050153553000184536,0.0,0.1400184692311535,0.09269478339727888,0.08634163556340885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103477265927076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086259749210683,0.16701304347343449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421107005017764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232650137339733,0.0,0.07861646795709741,0.0,0.1609597950586498,0.0,0.0,0.16640111195780438,0.058776663106543274,0.07899607812115668,0.0,0.0,0.1399646854121506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027487182012802,0.0,0.0,0.09070753142579932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17615234015947567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904314329963428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413088389845573,0.0,0.12058496908701208,0.0,0.0,0.07281002618622129,0.20726867269265595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196745132061912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892175703201444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055751087532750564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570799550958125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370237996450686,0.0,0.0,0.4808703429900718,0.0,0.18433173554029186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270692177657581,0.0,0.08123578907693414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237076845321163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361160400458414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424475108054076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420573407809719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543589554169144,0.0,0.0,0.0959494270465516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803698813175378,0.0,0.0,0.0710584422277952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530538395418405,0.06599535358889833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355338434639074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052981849644097405
mentalhealth,insaniuminthecranium,2018/03/26,"I'm drowning and can't seem to stay afloat. I just wanted to vent about this because I have no outlet to do so but I have so much debt and my hands are tied as to what I can do about it. I was really dumb with finances about 2 years ago, then left my job because I was being harrassed, and then I got pregnant. My daughter is 6 months old and I can't go back to work because we don't have anyone we can trust to watch her and daycare is stupid amounts of expensive. I can't even get a part time job because my significant other has yet to get a new job after leaving his old one around Thanksgiving so I can't plan a schedule yet. 

Sometimes I feel trapped and think the only way out is dying. At least then my daughter has a better shot at having a functioning mom. I have nothing to offer her and have no future. ",4.640813953488369,4.289150290697677,5.524976744186045,86.0863023255814,69.34883720930233,8.042790697674418,29.409302325581393,7.1686216300943375,1.4852586046511624,638,21,140,5,10,210,102,172,0.13,0.809,0.062,-0.9128,4,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,0,3,12,4,2,0,6,0,24,1,1,0,0,18,33,15,2,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,0,3,0,3,1,7,2,0,1,3,3,22,2,19,29,4,24,0,0,1,0,9,5,1,1,16,100,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773802300675192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864769732860742,0.0,0.0,0.1383241834589157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948025567686132,0.0,0.37888115276689904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374240043741796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126345395566385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262928082819177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856652389118221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623628433174751,0.0,0.08830797613887152,0.0,0.12427431233987225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4625821930492859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452860197567426,0.16882453615620696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198317887755555,0.12402556022638456,0.0,0.11422468942289712,0.0,0.0,0.15007027145167842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909457838927848,0.0,0.3260975136271684,0.0,0.10529182405252076,0.11817608973141493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826509755102914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954259512496724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145522615560302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536781715917524,0.0,0.0,0.16561804706061045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956341888105967,0.0,0.0,0.09060531944413586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164916461665816,0.12333612313745328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312097747328755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006182547428036
mentalhealth,Matbo2210,2018/03/26,"interference with medications regarding depression and ADHD so im already on fluoxetine (60mg) for depression nd have been for about 2 years now, but i suspect that i may have ADHD. however i want to know if its worth going to a psychiatrist to diagnose if nothing can even be done in terms of other medications. is this true? ",4.899836065573774,7.028451114754097,7.1581639344262324,65.47167213114757,70.63934426229507,11.437377049180329,33.511475409836066,11.20814326018867,4.742380983606557,262,13,44,10,5,93,50,61,0.118,0.754,0.128,0.1717,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,1,11,11,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,10,7,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373217930716864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466904486050251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850826172388073,0.22689621242338945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22876691379032826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476511491909146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704731100528727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414698797082094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285597103170832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504015837709951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450004969015365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185422687206125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395739112847622
mentalhealth,overalyssa,2018/03/26,Need help with bipolar 2 diagnosis I was diagnosed bipolar 2 two years ago. I’ve never been manic but I’m experiencing some hallucinations. Is it possible to have hallucinations with bipolar 2? Am I still considered bipolar 2 or would I now be considered bipolar 1 even though I’ve never been manic? Can I be bipolar 1 without being manic?,4.3795238095238105,7.0473760793650815,7.0478571428571435,63.23464285714286,73.92063492063492,9.279365079365078,34.3095238095238,9.725611199111238,4.2458380952380965,275,15,42,8,6,99,39,63,0.0,0.954,0.046,0.3378,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,2,10,13,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,4,0,4,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,30,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636132215903056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30183878489519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964195126228116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993304146788118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22050667590491665,0.4587221806798832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352560935407409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374914706153056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921785457639197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905012304971845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866678342929184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112532605496851,0.0,0.0,0.19150572656461692
mentalhealth,Fuckeveryoneuptheass,2018/03/26,"Shit what did I just do? I feel trapped
Isolated 
I can't go anywhere
Those closest to me keep me here
Fake love everywhere
I look for help but can't find it here or there
Fuck it close the door
Shield myself from any more
Pain, affliction, always kicking
My ass, don't ask if I'm
Fine or chilling, 
Thoughts keep creeping
My past been leaking 
Forced to see
Hurtful memories
Try to forget 
They keep reminding me
Say you care
But you really don't
That you speak the truth
When you really won't
Fuck sympathy
Until you get your way
Hurt me more more
Until I go away
People jump for joy
When I'm not okay
So they wouldn't care
If I died today
Fuck this world
And everyone in it
Except the ones
Who's hearts are hurt and diminished
Cause I'm just like you
We fight and fight back too
Find some light
While in the dark
Yet wish for pain to end
And eternal happiness to start.",1.0930220803405175,3.5248033407821207,2.0393136472466082,95.6235567970205,85.42458100558659,5.867624368183027,19.13833466347433,7.2636822038024595,0.3392312317105617,694,19,152,11,21,217,116,179,0.29,0.5479999999999999,0.162,-0.9845,0,1,0,0,2,0,6.0,1,7,2,0,11,21,6,0,4,1,10,9,3,1,1,29,32,16,1,4,10,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,1,0,8,6,0,3,4,0,0,3,7,12,0,1,3,6,23,9,15,27,4,22,0,3,2,5,18,6,5,5,13,88,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062755614938992,0.0,0.0,0.08685585130163734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940353201084535,0.0,0.11999973007587182,0.09821091259341476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26044371630374263,0.13120644936954126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255605197051015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312444833549028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220445631736068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458046115597353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334725632517964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35423287895949296,0.0667298664667945,0.0,0.14517556690424213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359632447209703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513520763282538,0.08560986852534917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101895435922648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405775520069147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239888520370604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072549440580864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527477049743155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654824238734815,0.0,0.27181202694706313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192581911375153,0.08854687458715868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364493118561504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157025897217184,0.0,0.0,0.10177849718977224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110556971684928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040282139863748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139759848375464,0.0,0.0,0.12106623486431795,0.0,0.0,0.08671536480798636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138037569841654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687486172984934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sam6794,2018/03/26,"I will die alone Depression, social anxiety, paranoia. Recently started seeing someone and because of my anxieties and paranoia, have completely pushed them away. Paranoia due to being cheated on so many times and now accusing him too after only six months. Its thrown up major red flags for him already. I'm going to struggle with depression and paranoia for my life and really feel like I'll never trust anybody again. I can't even leave the house more than once a week. Really feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm gonna be alone forever. Like an absolute lunatic is how I feel. So sick of it. Having a good day and then sinking back into it. It's so exhausting. ",3.5571428571428565,6.020735428571433,4.800238095238097,79.3489285714286,75.66666666666667,8.009523809523811,28.75396825396825,8.841846274778883,2.75528253968254,528,23,90,12,12,174,92,126,0.325,0.595,0.08,-0.9863,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,10,11,1,1,4,0,7,3,0,1,1,14,17,11,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,0,5,9,5,13,13,2,19,0,3,2,0,4,4,0,0,16,56,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32756242894097404,0.1745070187348427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194722879194094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857398640231256,0.12159683011775893,0.0,0.09639824359854338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580259725034013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198464383297737,0.0,0.2724046264496758,0.0,0.16412021135846486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444734282896402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239874953508048,0.22594479350379135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987233841918366,0.13263698201890844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824677231643049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674432009758651,0.0,0.0,0.11169614011564012,0.23177179938437945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691374495575274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032509315948626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967229004085468,0.0,0.12622265404164335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196423926763515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168409689068802,0.0,0.12026956107221301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026119539219497,0.0,0.15614023166672505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601392559766694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119974710236676,0.133988127640682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119294814139962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531809209134538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221037880945457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684716816795047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LARusty,2018/03/26,"Talking to parents about going to therapy I’m a 17yr old female with anxiety. I’ve always suffered from anxiety, and from a young age I’ve physically made myself sick when confronted by situations that are root causes. With age it’s gotten better, but there are still occasions where I make myself sick (this can be nausea or other stomach problems, or I will even start running a fever). I’d like someone to talk to, just for the sake of talking to someone in a non confrontational and non bias setting because I think it will give me clarity and make me feel better. However, I’m scared to confront my parents about this. They are not very understanding about anything regarding mental health, which i think is generational. When I was 15/16 I was feeling very depressed and confronted them about it, and rather than seeking help, they told me I was overreacting. I could really use some advice. 

I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I just wasn’t exactly sure where to go ",6.442225225225228,7.45213995675676,6.751148648648647,74.11897522522524,65.64864864864866,9.842342342342343,33.2545045045045,9.928628108626363,3.372774774774776,792,33,137,17,12,256,116,185,0.197,0.7,0.103,-0.9441,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,3,2,14,13,4,1,6,0,14,5,1,6,2,31,32,11,0,4,8,2,2,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,9,0,0,7,2,18,4,21,21,1,17,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,4,9,90,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423543325516155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430204331435148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101738748509395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130430129753387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373889003437716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24298350036858446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111584119760673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967799834535542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831575040994664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907309534804602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891582532329655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177689763821415,0.15613997896804144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601686282649445,0.0,0.0,0.09207556998776367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711157277424208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998190439731358,0.183389797973644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843567990657116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441456965314372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050641184549077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352140631437102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156156528222462,0.0,0.0,0.13144361646048808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800212273461386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753037041115015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440855329555914,0.0,0.0,0.2327846787985398,0.0,0.0,0.15377339052262187,0.09723051153053497,0.0,0.10970309051617548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294686918197099,0.0,0.0,0.3312360858477005,0.0,0.0,0.1570934658132792,0.0,0.0,0.17604106457640778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126200181921893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430060122542245,0.0,0.1186427426129828,0.0,0.2266876841991005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019147757267104,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rip2myyouths,2018/03/26,"trauma & guilt // warning for cocsa recently i have been feeling really guilty due to what happened to me when i was younger. when i was in first or second grade, i was molested by an older boy and he never penetrated me with his penis but he broke my hymen with his fingers. im not sure if i qualify as a virgin anymore and i feel really guilty about it. im in a relationship with someone i love more than anything and im afraid if i ever tell them or if they find out, they wont think of me in the same way. i also feel guilty because my family is strongly christian and purity is very important and i dont think i can live up to that. i live in constant fear of rejection. ive been sexually assaulted twice by adults after that event & manipulated into doing sexual things for a man who was older than me, although he never touched me. i feel disgusting and i hate myself. i dont know how much longer i can live with guilt like this. i am considering ending my life very soon, i have tried once in the past and failed but i really think i am at the end of the line. i wanted to talk about this before i finally do it. i am still under eighteen. i cant talk to my therapist about this and i cant talk to my family or my girlfriend or my friends. im completely alone and i dont know what to do.",1.6378676470588225,3.4859839338235297,4.097317647058826,85.06532941176474,79.1470588235294,7.587294117647059,22.644705882352945,8.488131031819089,1.4383271764705885,1018,32,216,22,25,356,142,272,0.209,0.723,0.068,-0.9909,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,3,10,17,4,4,8,0,25,4,1,2,4,43,38,24,0,4,10,0,6,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,11,15,0,0,10,0,0,0,9,12,0,3,6,6,45,5,35,31,3,30,1,3,0,2,20,10,0,7,20,158,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038425736693023,0.0,0.08018055003352775,0.0,0.2172705557361316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943428335797788,0.0,0.0,0.08250817889378041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611195963153449,0.0,0.08531671042397689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512419556293273,0.10834904222761646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525236336381567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17760710407763156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069392359041954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18903869159509135,0.112824122883288,0.20278461207420526,0.0,0.0,0.10983357890357102,0.09163886863288258,0.08528393861511079,0.0,0.0,0.07746320125813844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866253298387712,0.0,0.0,0.09898928234513664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332064134848931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020420983802076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081895622788381,0.0489835993093012,0.0,0.2656030760608785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049157128503438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370508515178953,0.0,0.15465852469242786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677717588241893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571269501737233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926937727819755,0.0,0.09899794406833848,0.10764529560334862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495279547366287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007042610836845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449700343828213,0.0,0.0,0.2417636040288477,0.08763457107865583,0.0,0.0,0.11641345575003476,0.06661050234270471,0.1927340832452491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807222067906438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545549794392456,0.05913791069417501,0.07958436572746191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Theunpossibleme,2018/03/26,"People of r/mentalhealth, What are some horror stories that you have encountered in the mental health care services (public or private) on your mental health journey? I have had a myriad of set backs  on the basis of poor judgments by uneducated doctors, untrained staff and (most infuriating) paper
pushing exercises by consultant psychiatrists. 

What are yours like?",9.814322033898305,11.991167677966109,9.562500000000004,52.77561440677968,58.66101694915254,11.323728813559322,40.17372881355932,11.20814326018867,5.5171322033898305,299,15,36,8,4,97,49,59,0.128,0.784,0.08800000000000001,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,8,5,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,2,28,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216256849661895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29457441864115164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957230904907081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6142194493467479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115230417999933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5823292285302291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030158127204087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JP20021,2018/03/26,"Could I have multiple subtypes of Borderline Personality Disorder? I looked at the four subtypes, and I'm not sure where I fall. I want to say that I'm a mix of impuslive and self destructive. I believe impulsive because I like to pick fights, I'm not afraid to voice my unpopular opinions or vulgar comments, and I'm ""hot-headed"" but not violent. I say that I could also be self destructive because of past and present self mutilation, believes on death, and having an underlying urge to feel pain. Can anyone help me figure out where I fall? If you need more information from me comment telling me to do so. Thank you for reading my post and/or commenting.",6.361158536585367,7.371745065040653,7.002997967479676,72.23913109756099,65.82926829268294,10.702845528455283,36.513211382113816,10.686352973137794,4.167326016260162,525,26,93,14,8,173,82,123,0.174,0.7140000000000001,0.112,-0.8523,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,4,9,4,1,3,0,7,1,0,1,1,22,16,10,1,5,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,4,2,6,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,6,0,1,0,5,16,3,14,13,1,11,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,3,3,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575038116300742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186943425607557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695813368373733,0.0,0.0,0.3825040944566485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27106585523648946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455016626649996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583156504774224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421422783672152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378099300522715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829321110193574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254868334525786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258687420540953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806277878329113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204721500805236,0.0,0.148220645549441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257521448005002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979764723054505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26998674626465113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5312641650289254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998897775264384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837047665561864,0.15628456771295646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012395667728917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theo_sontag,2018/03/26,"Tapering off Cymbalta (bead counting) I have been taking Cymbalta for a few years, and have been slowly tapering off for six months. I made the mistake of tapering from 60 to 30 mg in one go and had a rough month. Thst was six months ago. Now, I've been slowly tapering down from 30mg to 0 using the bead counting method over the past two months. One 30mg pill had 180 beads, so I started with 150 beads for a week, then 120, 90, 60. Wasn't able to quit from there. So I went 45 beads, 30, 20. Two days without and I'm still having brain zaps and dizziness. At 1/18th of my original dose. When were you able to drop the meds all together? Also, does the capsule itself have medicinal properties, or just the beads? TIA for any stories and advice!",2.1940460210930013,4.267731630872486,3.211720997123681,90.99223154362416,78.32885906040269,6.941706615532119,22.72339405560882,7.957251820313856,1.07059309683605,579,18,123,10,14,185,94,149,0.031,0.92,0.049,0.54,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,0,9,0,12,3,1,3,1,14,19,11,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,6,10,1,6,0,21,9,2,24,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,15,72,7,0,0.3385000165798328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165389149274922,0.15002992038786594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534917048110234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509580946722862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893898358995287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915225364315714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481118228101847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618868007913113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014845013791704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799860452695316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5403749675109772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22937637168378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156828395034786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001821721164166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979602699261475,0.0,0.13516327524947572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127254942810596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306653302223631,0.0,0.0,0.14617766555798895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357621476470486,0.0,0.0,0.15689645332802613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315096829084902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089914562592126
mentalhealth,DependentMaterial,2018/03/27,"Why do I try to romanticize my situations? Is this often a way to cope or is it unhealthy?

ex: 

-making art and stories 

-imagining romantic situations (for below as well)

-hoping someone will find me when I imagine myself attempting suicide

Edit: instead of downvoting, it'd be nice if someone could give some insight.",4.017321428571428,7.275107517857148,5.862142857142861,67.28285714285715,80.96428571428572,8.200000000000001,38.35714285714286,8.841846274778883,4.774921428571429,255,17,35,7,7,87,50,56,0.121,0.7040000000000001,0.175,0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,12,10,5,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,6,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,5,1,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175480299496407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309568290158794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24240615641588545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509811711000364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867454329788856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5680750509831344,0.0,0.0,0.4282119269113582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764051341732761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156196346213384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005759457953323,0.0,0.0,0.22720135906461655,0.0,0.22801613349084315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MagikGoat,2018/03/27,"Been having depressive episodes daily for about a week I'm 19 and I've recently been having depressive episodes which bring me to the brink of tears, which is rare for me, during these episodes I mostly think about my parents passing. My parents are still relatively young at 55 and 56. It's been a topic I've brought up to myself before and I just came to terms with it and pushed it off to the side but recently it's been clawing at me everyday for about a week because of these episodes. What's strange about this is that it comes and goes everyday. For example today I felt a bit saddened while I was at school then I arrived home and the sadness became more intense so I then decided to post this, just now as I was typing this up the feeling of depression or sadness,whatever the hell it is has gone, but it seems to keep coming back everyday. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.",4.598312087912088,6.0918732971428575,5.1011428571428565,82.46639560439561,70.31428571428572,8.584615384615384,31.17582417582417,9.057496981413335,2.6426835164835163,717,31,138,14,13,229,101,175,0.14800000000000002,0.789,0.063,-0.9478,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,11,5,1,0,9,0,15,0,0,0,0,24,27,15,0,1,6,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,16,10,0,1,5,0,0,8,0,5,0,0,10,2,13,0,25,15,4,33,1,4,0,0,4,8,1,4,16,99,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603941962526575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131209781809976,0.0,0.10401909734966458,0.0,0.1452000298129704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629206479043606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19516395638229625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939783667673252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409097453347584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862794978043111,0.0,0.1638388558492769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143747866033472,0.0,0.17116342605312904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167053948204998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789457230973993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342365251017701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33696808887056673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269436142313158,0.0,0.15534206262459388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627140803128032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933768423604917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174449296551588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737503805388979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121605543019967,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Muffin-Fairy-98,2018/03/27,"Lonely and jealous and pathetic I don't know if this is a rant, I don't know if I'm looking for advise or really what this is, maybe just getting it off my chest. Just need someone to listen I guess and there's really no one in my life right now who would understand. 
I'm the type of person who can be lonely in a room filled with friends. Not allot of people understand what that's like. I mean I don't even really understand it either. 
I've been feeling left behind I guess. My boyfriend is starting a new hobby with his friends that seems really fun, and I've told him I'd take part in it here and there. I couldn't figure out why it bugged me tho. Like am I just an awful girlfriend? I should be excited for him. But I'm starting to realize maybe I'm jealous. 
I hang out with his group often, but lately I haven't seen much of my own group. Like I try to get us together but it honestly feels like I'm the only one trying. Everyone else is so flaky or bad at communicating. 
The idea of my boyfriend having fun with something new with his friends makes me sad because first of all, I'm petty and awful and toxic and want him to be with me all the time, and second of all because I'm missing that connection from my friends 
I also started a new job that involves me working solo, so I miss having coworkers as well. 
Thanks for listening sorry it was long. ",3.212113201152345,4.3984399181494656,4.662023385866803,85.47112692763939,73.30604982206405,7.772309778003727,25.83646839518725,8.269060116576782,1.5533628537536006,1071,35,223,17,21,358,148,281,0.127,0.723,0.15,0.8303,1,4,1,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,2,14,22,2,0,9,2,20,2,1,1,3,54,55,21,0,7,12,0,2,4,5,2,1,2,1,1,16,17,0,0,12,0,0,2,7,8,1,4,4,6,31,14,29,45,8,23,0,5,2,0,22,10,0,9,15,149,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512849163565887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888178918145556,0.1297825729938252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892580147572805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030960517892641,0.0,0.0,0.10171809254591767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764922506506153,0.07604831675564798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054681031767273,0.0,0.0,0.3289738210883991,0.0,0.1112320705870496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345346339257276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016974940249907,0.0,0.0,0.1056357766309873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700491143410008,0.0,0.12008089269120402,0.0,0.11565886836456975,0.0,0.07518919389266566,0.2080255085475296,0.0,0.0,0.09420541490012503,0.08939167826909791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105658981169445,0.0,0.2138878342697446,0.11595589040568248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825342582741049,0.07893175741640455,0.0,0.3084319050971097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426733809223274,0.08096046414390096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152756063253692,0.0,0.07379942989427797,0.092948541851505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727798735504588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909082150392775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969086114726448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019523233354604,0.08195085841061316,0.0,0.11916271084926736,0.2260388086364335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003758941515339,0.0,0.0,0.09800539343870696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207219017633193,0.0,0.0,0.10171809254591767,0.0,0.1445459145958791,0.0,0.0,0.3324564288406585,0.12804694273485887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278731105953128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957118570477022,0.0,0.0960550925535556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774972912157082,0.0,0.0,0.07561943894307491,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deville66,2018/03/27,"Started feeling ton of anxiety while driving, don't know why I recently had been doing a lot of driving and started getting these panic attacks and an insane amount of anxiety while I was in the vehicle.  I've always been a little anxious during my commutes, but there has been nothing like this.  Just wave after wave of complexes about the fears associated with driving.  I have difficulty breathing and all sort of insane fears about getting behind the wheel.  

I should also say that I am Bipolar Type I and have been gradually tapering off of Depakote lately.  Could that be the cause for the recent episodes?  I also have racing thoughts and fears that make concentration hard as well.  But they weren't a problem before.  I really don't know what to do.  At some point I am going to have to get back on the road.  Are there any books or specific therapies I could try? Has anybody else experienced symptoms like this while taping off of Depakote?  What should I do?  

Any advice would be useful.  Thank You!",5.1551531531531545,7.290176010810814,5.612432432432438,76.79126126126127,69.97297297297297,7.9603603603603625,30.711711711711718,8.648137234880735,2.6842684684684697,802,34,133,14,15,257,115,185,0.182,0.748,0.07,-0.9587,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,0,9,10,1,4,10,0,28,3,1,3,1,28,41,14,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,1,0,4,3,6,1,0,8,4,14,4,22,26,5,22,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,4,12,104,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095674144489675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143415865089356,0.11151022326934942,0.0,0.0,0.18226796894318895,0.0,0.20504039149639536,0.15139745669932705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246005262887558,0.0,0.1030483456105468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403587940187435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766909586656031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399824060171152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195133969636836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524083736985634,0.0677614076191313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100500492450455,0.0,0.07616313501987816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005004831787824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473009674214487,0.0,0.15117341182902252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309447538646634,0.1343170415730745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393374656026395,0.0,0.0,0.08945525698574408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285898624461391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723632794131773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668636495896912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282331145955938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585267655561997,0.0,0.2646449342622069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657315845997868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897113250993246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392916587219263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338190840964905,0.15325646803021956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063919934833598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090986578237714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574490126722482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204945071452878,0.0,0.12092661654519167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519956363930712,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QuarterLifeCalamity,2018/03/27,"Depressed and possibly mentally ill friend refuses to get help. How can I reason with them? I have been friends with this person for 10 years and our friendship has only declined as we have gotten closer. It now feels like I am his friend yet he is not mine. He has experienced a lot of grief losing multiple family members unexpectedly in the 10 years I have known him. He has every reason to be depressed about that on top of the stresses of trying to run multiple businesses through all of that and now. He is also gay and comes from a very christian conservative family. This has caused a lot of stress on him as he knows his family will disown him when he tells them. So he also feels like he cannot live his life they way he wants too.

Even before all that he has always been a little off, but his depression seems to amplify his issues. I suspect that he has some sort of personality disorder all with his depression, as he exhibits all the symptoms.

He is unable to maintain any relationships in his life and has lost every friendship but my own. All of our mutual friends who have stopped associating with him have told me to cut him out as well because of his toxic personality, but I have a hard time doing that especially when I'm the only one he has and he relies on me for everything but that is the problem. We fight incessantly and I am at the point where I can't do it anymore because my relationship and friendships are suffering because of the time suck that he has on my life and he has no appreciation for my time that I spend with him even though its not enjoyable for me anymore.

I have tried to talk to him about getting help, but he refuses. Says that doctors will just try to put him on pills that make him a zombie and take away any emotion he has left. How can I convince him to see a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist?",6.049734848484848,6.482140625000002,6.787373737373737,75.54590909090913,66.3611111111111,10.101010101010102,31.641414141414145,10.018931242160765,3.0010277777777783,1475,55,282,32,22,488,176,360,0.153,0.75,0.098,-0.9725,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,4,0,3,3,19,23,3,2,14,0,36,8,0,6,5,55,52,28,1,2,9,0,3,2,4,2,7,1,0,3,16,19,0,4,8,0,1,3,5,14,1,1,5,6,44,9,47,44,9,32,1,8,1,1,63,17,1,6,13,203,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260083079698505,0.07418742549945441,0.0,0.0,0.12126234680965313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684352889349475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376780992560957,0.0,0.0,0.16305148584475962,0.0,0.07586773713972744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159084695317801,0.0,0.07680257877150069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30717004401435305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102183931653131,0.09125800848850514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002918679307376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777734949697027,0.0,0.15024059591133276,0.0,0.08013035492452161,0.0,0.2521534941731149,0.0,0.09016293272662182,0.12739040645147626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755360708048409,0.0,0.09316378906881702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986894613488345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195227887571692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305882564433228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0489994514681418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687150800471908,0.0,0.1889269029094092,0.08711716188043274,0.0893607350327003,0.07872902529079358,0.0,0.0,0.09974610845099192,0.09732757431782016,0.15159957691765485,0.0,0.0,0.05951432091687494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985129567010608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041644187961974,0.13561886539751372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23355058397112802,0.0,0.0,0.08428406819245933,0.10051336950357312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531311620320746,0.0,0.08962941498634094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18334059076311465,0.0,0.19144678576045904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090281071712667,0.0,0.0,0.07104817487269742,0.08116699968399732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745409113733775,0.20426265309252886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267033327668653,0.06703646761672423,0.07166262220403592,0.07792889071681472,0.0,0.0,0.10352046412104553,0.0,0.0,0.08759825905391537,0.0,0.15596797943543542,0.0,0.0,0.08519523972192959,0.0,0.18159931340526864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735655076476357,0.05258828477143726,0.07077025953577043,0.0,0.0,0.0801646432932182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483093806257945
mentalhealth,DelightedWarship,2018/03/27,"Sometimes I just cant shake out of it. As a child, going through my parents divorce, I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety. They put me on a generic form of Prozac for a few years, but I grew tired of feeling totally numb. I quit the meds cold turkey, got sick, but recovered stronger than ever. Was a whole new person.

These past few years (about 10 years later from being medicated) I have had a great life, and have truly been happy.

Sometimes I fall back into a dark place, and wander around there, even though I know I need to focus on the joys of life. I have no reason to wallow in such places, but strains on family, friendship and relationships will open the door sometimes. 

I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I picture my life with, but he is not very emotional. I use to be known for my lack of emotion, but now I feel like all I do is *feel* everything. I was called an Empath by a psychic once, and that is very fitting. I think I do so well with him because he does not fuel my emotions, and is SO stable and level headed. It balances me out perfectly, as long as I am in control of my emotions.

However these past few weeks, I let myself wallow in the mental shadows perhaps too long, and I cant help but just feel unhappy. There is nothing I can pinpoint exactly that is causing me to feel this way. I have found myself to have little patience for my boyfriend, feel unloved by all (friends/boyfriend/family) even though the realistic side of me knows and hears how much they love me. I find myself feeling without purpose, yet I have hobbies and interests. When I do those things I enjoy, I have a temporary happy feeling, but the moment I step away, this sourpuss attitude comes right back over me.

I've found myself wanting to snap at every little thing my boyfriend says, and wanting to throw our issues from the past in his face. However, thats never been the person I am, and we have a very healthy relationship with open communication. So I know to do this would be wrong. 

Similar relationship with my mother. I can barely stand to speak with her right now, as everything she says and does annoys me. I want to correct her, and then make her feel stupid for the things she says, and then even throw our past issues in her face. Yet I dont know why I feel this way? So I just have been avoiding her, cause I know its not her fault.

I lately have been thinking alot about old friends i've distanced myself, and that tends to make me sad, since I don't have all the memories and baggage with my new friends. I love my new friends dearly, but its just not the same. 

I've spent more money than I should have, and even though I could afford it, and am very strict on keeping up with my finances, it still saddens me that I spent the money. However I know what I bought (birthday gift) will bring such joy to the recipient, which will bring joy to me. Its just a month away, and I am impatient.

So its these little purposeless things have all accumulated into this feeling of blah. Its starting to wear on me, my mom and my boyfriend.

I try to correct myself when I notice it, but I just dont feel *happy* right now. We just got a new puppy, and I thought life would be perfect after, but even so, I still find myself in this feeling.

I want to shake it so bad. I want to get back to happy feeling, and accepting of love, and etc. I want to feel filled with joy, and not have to rely on anyone else to give it to me. Because when others give it to me, its only temporary.

I guess this was more of a rant, but it feels good to get it out.",4.729711175706598,5.381121012802278,5.2083397241635225,84.94135985527865,69.31294452347083,8.04760962335333,28.653874698497123,8.04050195162591,1.7176063702146087,2764,94,566,34,46,884,288,703,0.08900000000000001,0.7170000000000001,0.195,0.998,6,1,0,0,1,0,100.0,4,0,2,4,46,36,2,4,28,0,57,17,4,8,12,137,116,55,0,12,24,3,16,2,3,6,10,5,1,3,40,44,0,3,33,0,6,13,13,12,1,0,17,22,103,24,85,87,17,90,0,1,0,3,44,36,0,3,39,416,143,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039272975633328544,0.0,0.0,0.035896308441184716,0.052601239970996035,0.0,0.045701176153770784,0.0,0.0,0.09646636709763157,0.11842589072374952,0.04286459025631914,0.06258961329450642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242123213955648,0.0,0.0,0.10547531650659857,0.0,0.044222630174979086,0.0,0.0,0.05757926695825119,0.04098874191270721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210638718907108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898514211757272,0.0,0.12033411669772945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04288581585244637,0.23099069098990324,0.0,0.0,0.05725477893679745,0.16953936485940233,0.046437623511108764,0.04325397933591756,0.0,0.09227750183127592,0.0,0.0967926763094939,0.0,0.4153237657629768,0.03667545362704901,0.0,0.0,0.09384291939503836,0.0,0.0,0.11257763337269903,0.11898945927962927,0.0,0.05364335228830694,0.09849503690507004,0.02917623131680542,0.04305938108004762,0.08211842784989394,0.056599672159011134,0.056553941345724175,0.0,0.0,0.21859849632570846,0.0,0.0,0.05268699014924615,0.0,0.05786098847605205,0.0,0.034410381586378366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716582950243964,0.0,0.045631045914768686,0.0,0.0,0.16928217690444594,0.0,0.057910830893753124,0.0,0.0,0.0524959765992051,0.14504451440923466,0.0250808637766844,0.1543607050984255,0.0,0.09086397892770844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900204176546355,0.0,0.0685362352702303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570242856893619,0.051717036313390315,0.05173603129894178,0.0,0.0,0.060125750298584385,0.04097702826606325,0.0,0.037738900905755615,0.03806603659786896,0.03959457292246395,0.19832794930163156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04925962633688272,0.05844797782643765,0.05386997248390882,0.05467266269788994,0.0,0.039044411171842035,0.0,0.0,0.05700411480341935,0.0,0.1960294546974401,0.0,0.08965168676461258,0.10727332684983597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160827325255757,0.0,0.05460365130579743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278340435352665,0.0,0.16535148702613947,0.0,0.13152559453894302,0.0,0.12247669909777315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04246683335484435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232202385615606,0.0,0.03633688071710118,0.0,0.08199623866283469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642516751819536,0.06578987464048817,0.1513162243798557,0.040756166501239775,0.0,0.059004797000836974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03485472929515454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433903636230281,0.0,0.16943494816833854,0.1816807955813107,0.08149848780856271,0.04117977105578307,0.0,0.046158494026773376,0.0,0.046324024552827366,0.05731638125180399,0.0,0.049487428110029166,0.055673227693714036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293724160053112,0.05612939518033303,0.0,0.0991788203172626
mentalhealth,mlconne2,2018/03/27,"PSA: take care of yourselves What I thought was just a bad depressive episode ended up with me having sepsis. I was sleeping 16 hours a day (I work on/off a week at a time), and confusion. I had no fever. Guys I’m 24. If anything seems extra than normal, please go get checked out. ",0.4898496240601489,2.847211017543863,1.8699248120300784,96.15947368421057,87.94736842105263,4.660651629072682,22.177944862155385,6.18269132825596,0.28946817042606554,216,8,47,2,7,69,49,57,0.181,0.7240000000000001,0.095,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,4,0,4,2,1,0,0,9,11,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,4,0,5,1,6,7,1,9,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,3,5,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22309136739512425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22635633056086804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27640348532541203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748364193315763,0.0,0.23349716049317945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401132362815596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163803165218686,0.0,0.15407180194597933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26843061952254194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26697789373169706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656194477626296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975852785280142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24679833624764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712947717196329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038326997442065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21522231384419654,0.15807999959931454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21745925515174014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736329150825302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SymbolTheClown,2018/03/27,"Empath Wants A Discussion With A Sociopath I’m a Empath & I have been studying psychology for many years. I used to date a guy who was a diagnosed Sociopath (I didn’t find out until after he broke up with me) and a Schizophrenic. But even though he lacks empathy and doesn’t care about me, I trust him and adore him. He’s taught me how to manipulate, techniques to get what I want. That was two years ago. I just got out of a relationship with a Narcissist. (extreme kind). He has NPD but doesn’t know about it. I’m not really scared of dating but every time I do date, I’m prone to dating people who have antisocial behaviors. My sister calls me a Psycho magnet. Probably because I’m a Empath. But I found out though I’m highly sensitive.. I have flaws: all my life I’ve lied, manipulated people, etc. The only difference between a Sociopath and me is that I feel regret (remorse) afterwards. I would love to have a discussion with a Sociopath and learn their behaviors more. ",3.270919504643963,5.4117294789473736,4.7919814241486085,80.61298761609909,75.26315789473685,8.260061919504642,25.38699690402477,9.007467420416297,2.157232198142415,771,27,146,18,17,258,110,190,0.07,0.8340000000000001,0.096,0.5475,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,0,7,8,0,1,14,0,14,4,0,4,1,33,30,13,0,5,6,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,6,12,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,1,21,5,21,22,4,16,0,2,0,1,16,5,0,0,11,96,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283264669414906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868080994879319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510062525918656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605171160908673,0.0,0.17578530777799597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749943348523392,0.0,0.18013362173209693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228471781793488,0.11387635944593713,0.0,0.1452643668450938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717658004471185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758125007351115,0.0,0.0,0.18904062567053187,0.0,0.0,0.09007804282111974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378934564064926,0.0,0.0,0.170714775952465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216251932816407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795403450142984,0.0947530093328073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177954418008576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560836942824458,0.0,0.0,0.1747984912046048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112693340118606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390572492665606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588906745087752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045140578943173,0.0,0.0,0.18510573623146584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261427654946732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387874112456093,0.0,0.10053469966341337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842126376268413,0.0,0.0,0.14890842744595942,0.0,0.0,0.20338587834943733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247638694979772,0.0,0.0,0.2220550765351503
mentalhealth,moderatelypeaceful,2018/03/27,"Friend claims she is too mentally ill to move her own stuff. My friend is moving into a new place. She's had three weeks to pack all of her things and get situated. I helped her pack for two days and we made some good progress, but I've been very busy and unable to help consistently for long periods of time. I went over to help her a week later and it looked like she hadn't made any progress. I also found out that she didn't have enough money for the deposit on her new place because she spent it on weed. Now she is saying that she is 'too mentally I'll to move her own things' and she wants other people to do it for her. She claims that her doctor told her it was a good idea because she is headed towards a mental breakdown.

I'm not willing to move her things for her. I'm willing to help her, but I'm not going to do everything while she just sits there. I know that she has some kind of mental illness as well as substance abuse issues, but I don't know her specific diagnosis. 

Am I being too harsh? What is the best way to handle this situation? I don't want to be insensitive to the fact that she's mentally ill, but I don't want to enable her either. I feel that she is acting very entitled and unreasonable. 
",4.875270092226613,4.755906513833993,5.633059288537552,84.71770487483533,68.84189723320158,8.802002635046113,26.35283267457181,8.447377352677275,1.442577022397892,960,24,211,13,15,314,127,253,0.087,0.76,0.152,0.9558,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,1,0,0,4,8,8,0,0,7,0,24,5,1,2,2,31,42,14,0,3,8,0,1,1,2,2,4,1,0,0,17,9,0,0,5,0,3,7,7,0,1,2,11,3,39,8,29,27,8,28,0,0,1,0,37,8,0,2,12,147,56,1,0.0,0.11305282285226348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630445484125484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488641906479964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632989484381985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001336175095891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615356797483909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976627211594228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859064016171996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575410135522371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824539513649923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046191497492576,0.1474369367580802,0.0,0.049851127066449306,0.0,0.054227334894252174,0.16006148654449542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792474663263552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25582238718387834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771349333678266,0.0,0.09958992411576173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993614900207784,0.10487670824639077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661562984908157,0.0,0.0,0.08444050504046767,0.0801257387110941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805705958597186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807864087866731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40565010074484864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430749346772404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614971271638813,0.0,0.19937964424335952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587894528027417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450404657244326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092289415727034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017123476342604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563806595421585,0.0,0.0,0.09117445229062858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320795121180199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745703372975542,0.16883718186329205,0.07573709132927788,0.153074549736267,0.0,0.08579079616641333,0.08845195205236185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imapoet145,2018/03/27,"My personality feels gone and I can't think clearly? Relapse? Hi. So throughout my life I've always had depression and anxiety. Last summer I had a bad episode in which I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, had no personality and couldn't handle anything. 

I went to intensive therapy for OCD where I went through ERP,  DBT and medication and came out okay again. I was depression/anxiety free for the most part and felt a new sense of confidence for a few months. But I've recently relapsed and for the life of me, feel so blank (like I've lost my personality and never know what to say). My mom or friend will be talking to me and I just will feel like I have nothing to offer or say and have no opinions. My interests are gone too. I can barely function on a day to day basis and feel like I need to avoid everything and everyone because everyone else seems way better/more successful/somehow okay. I can barely think/do things for myself anymore. When I see people out in public I wonder how they can do things normally. 


If anyone has any advice, please share. Thanks. 

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mentalhealth,threecheered,2018/03/27,"childhood trauma tw sexual abuse (?) hi. so when i was around 11, these neighbours moved in w a nine year old daughter and 6 yo son, being a girl, i mostly hung around the daughter and formed a friendship w her. however her father was.... sorta creepy. i have memories (that are definitely memories) of him in our complex pool where, we’d be playing a game where you had to pull someone under if you were the ‘shark’ by their legs, and even if he wasn’t it he would stroke my legs sorta. this only happened once, however there was an incident where (for some background, at this townhouse complex if you were standing by someone’s gate you could definitely see inside their back porch, unless they had something blocking that view) the girl neighbour and i had decided to meet in the pool, my swimming togs were out on the porch drying, so not thinking much of it i quickly stripped down to put it on and what do you know, the friends father was looking at me strangely while i got into my swimmers. now my question is: would this count as sexual trauma/assault? in no way am i trying to discount the victims of such things, however this is more just so i can know what to call it, as when i’m telling what happened to me to others i want at least a clear label for it instead of saying “sexual- well not really sexual assault? ish???? idk????” thanks !!",3.936229235880401,5.788925546511628,4.568870431893688,84.1882558139535,72.6046511627907,7.08482834994463,28.952380952380967,7.793537801064563,1.906652048726468,1053,43,196,14,21,336,157,258,0.061,0.8370000000000001,0.102,0.8632,3,0,1,0,1,0,44.0,2,5,3,0,19,7,2,0,13,0,24,3,2,0,1,33,35,17,0,7,7,5,1,0,3,2,1,1,3,2,17,9,0,1,7,5,1,4,4,3,1,1,12,5,28,4,33,17,6,33,0,0,3,0,32,18,0,8,9,150,45,0,0.0,0.20753238083625347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31185369740265184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346849067448508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885486152608102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984859683207645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568953413541296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532584917668825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008903875753614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30978148001438904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925233922295364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708774979203446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861641511244206,0.12876053499994133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837977871899908,0.1865364684687469,0.0,0.13321477707575036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608114478524786,0.19621590549831255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122100473052724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929186173385155,0.0,0.0,0.13957743636275596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29681988352370403,0.13484440152087046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309492192214288,0.16126101520308656,0.0,0.0,0.11636651528993265,0.11223352102175804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892009262616784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033121256705562,0.13903145878734788,0.0,0.0,0.15748716160338685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24885298788529545,0.0,0.0,0.112795353143297
mentalhealth,HiThisIsM3,2018/03/27,"My friend has bipolar and i have a savior complex (edit) Sorry so much for such a long post. I just had to get it out. I'll probably have a chat with either my friend of a therapist soon.

I have a friend. They are one of my closest friends, if not *the* closest. I learned they had bipolar some time ago, I've actually posted about this before, too. They're in a depressive state(episode?) right now, I can tell, and I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I haven't had the courage or found the right time to really talk to them about them having bipolar, how it affects them etc. I think they're on some form of medication, they've mentioned it a few times. At school today we were talking and they mentioned that if life is just a stream of going up and down, then what's even the point if you end up in the down slump each time? I disagreed and said that you won't be in that slump forever, there'll be good times and it'll be worth it for that. They said they're tired of it. They've shown signs of suicidal thinking before so it wasn't that much of a surprise, but still freaked me out.

Sometimes spending time with them is draining. I'm afraid I'll say something wrong and it'll make them feel bad or dislike me. I think they deserve a way better friend than I am and I'm constantly afraid of just messing up and making their life even more difficult. They say that they're drawn to people who make them feel bad so I either think that maybe I'm that person who makes them feel bad, or maybe once I inevitably let them down they find someone else who treats them even worse and I wouldn't want that.

Because it's so draining for me to be with them, and I have my own bunch of problems, I don't hang out with them as much anymore (now that school is happening aswell). We luckily have the same friend group so we get together on some weekends but I feel like I should be doing more, inviting them to things just the two of us or something like that. I just don't think I'm doing enough.

I've talked a bit about this with my mum, one of her friends has bipolar as well. They aren't on the best of terms right now, thought, and when I've talked to my mum about mental illnesses she is quite skeptical (she took anti-depressants for a time in her 20s or something and they made everything worse and then a friend told her to just stop being dramatic and get over it and through some miracle, she did. So now she sort of thinks that that could be an option for people, and that some diagnoses are just over-dramatizing normal emotions). So no help there.

I have only one other friend I could talk to about this, but not right now. She's in a slump, too. She's also talking about suicide but stated she wouldn't actually do it. I think that if she doesn't get help soon it'll just escalate and her depression will be the next thing for me to deal with.

What do you even say in a conversation about suicide? I know you're supposed to listen but sitting quietly is kinda weird and I'm not good with talking to people so I don't know how to express with words that I care about them without sounding like I'm making it up and ""just being nice"". For the other friend who is thinking of dying but doesn't want to commit suicide, I at least know how how to respond in a way. I have recommended a psychiatrist, they've already taken steps to get help. I believe they'll be okay. But the friend who has bipolar, he's already doing things to get better and it doesn't seem to be working.. I know I should just ask him about it and have a chat, but it just feels so uncomfortable and I'd mess something up.

Does anyone have a friend with a mental illness? I'd really like to hear stories and support.
(sorry for any mistakes; not a native speaker)",3.774563515954245,4.940204662251656,4.173702588801927,89.58897049969899,71.9139072847682,7.080313064419025,26.04515352197471,7.348242739294969,1.0754185430463572,2940,93,626,30,55,922,277,755,0.14,0.72,0.141,-0.6012,0,0,4,0,0,4,81.0,4,3,24,5,52,46,1,3,33,1,66,12,0,11,1,134,120,60,5,15,35,2,6,4,12,10,12,10,0,1,47,40,0,1,24,3,2,4,18,17,1,4,14,16,83,29,88,82,24,68,0,3,0,0,94,31,0,18,31,430,130,5,0.0,0.0,0.09768246505502756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436598933934721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104620528271284,0.0400246820042953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03403547400828715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049635797834560624,0.03499587460456964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678966067742865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536808580561334,0.030509798270648595,0.0,0.08517712095874429,0.056388809426563234,0.05252401327155765,0.08852968526688354,0.054641248203420686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102894741134524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054085884404845484,0.0,0.07992113587537628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051598985007801836,0.12932305440516206,0.05079933484396211,0.051943628366675286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0437987805021817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04181005510207125,0.056299112692538726,0.044329128818887314,0.05171466108082679,0.055818582778992584,0.13222927060322995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498139256020525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183962214478233,0.0357554754773986,0.0,0.0,0.04574446763873292,0.0,0.0,0.05487685101722069,0.4640187670593818,0.0,0.1568932387400992,0.0,0.028444365923303887,0.08395853313422172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04425873465436605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640958597517382,0.0,0.1006416635625955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002390111958538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051179151675730686,0.07070308701329436,0.09780691127515527,0.0,0.0,0.044292359726021385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735818304217705,0.16704262914082985,0.0,0.10056318850183846,0.0,0.0,0.05041975056317655,0.10087653814555324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037674077066027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053228363902167834,0.0,0.049038024304766725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330123712326064,0.10174480164868276,0.0380650093760434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409436336281086,0.04370141839575455,0.0,0.0,0.04731309079445909,0.0,0.09586744737800117,0.0,0.0539619810506269,0.047890749692617716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323395683375919,0.0,0.0,0.06412616672897598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709684890975346,0.0952173448707732,0.1194044566067312,0.0,0.10130582294492893,0.0,0.045563315913912834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04240690071080189,0.1541226437748774,0.04950037740991705,0.11205295705048944,0.0,0.0,0.03996971013039666,0.04184374322863863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898474739622828,0.05679574258380676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815960544543746,0.04374559464283197,0.0,0.0,0.05811149394046181,0.09975227807610323,0.25655832626257585,0.0,0.03973382651804727,0.2042904482115836,0.05752470286165246,0.04744121009988887,0.04782457940942142,0.055606995743487216,0.0,0.0,0.048891229421473385,0.0,0.060203558950857126,0.0,0.0,0.041296197695692885,0.05904115322089984,0.07945415513920122,0.0,0.0,0.04500064042918128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482460705250191,0.0,0.03643673672004421,0.0,0.10200972563254296,0.0,0.05472142848838418,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The-Pink-Panther,2018/03/27,"My depersonalization. Anyone else feel the same? This [list of dissociation symptoms](http://www.neurosymptoms.org/dissociative-symptoms/4533053148) is the one where I found the definition that describes [what I’m feeling](https://i.imgur.com/qHGbKtU.jpg) best.

For me when I look down at my body I know it’s mine but it doesn’t feel like it is. I can control it and feel it but it’s not my body. But when I look in the mirror and I see myself I see it’s me but I still feel a little weird. But not as weird as when I look down at my body like my hands and arms. ",2.126678571428574,5.002016685714288,2.4779464285714283,88.98549107142858,91.66666666666666,5.672619047619048,16.086309523809526,7.1686216300943375,0.09777380952380944,452,10,91,8,16,138,57,105,0.034,0.8690000000000001,0.096,0.7832,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,5,0,4,5,5,1,0,18,16,13,0,0,7,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,10,18,3,9,15,2,11,0,0,5,0,0,7,0,0,6,64,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036225109675212,0.17637478415818358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064724900959805,0.0,0.0,0.5736164823746468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306637614146888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437984450289302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481507260218583,0.12297476677243728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873942703724572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460203926058308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681949679343178,0.1725265795968035,0.0,0.0,0.4336553886601037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116644542651597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743419376059634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746889715826724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xenchantress_,2018/03/27,"Anyone else hears voices? I do, but I know there is a reality in my head and there is a reality outside my head.   Do you feel the same or?",-1.3520000000000003,0.6377088000000022,2.6750000000000007,89.2425,94.33333333333334,5.666666666666668,17.5,7.1686216300943375,0.2410000000000005,104,3,25,2,4,39,22,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,2,0,0,6,7,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,7,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430312253174293,0.3561297625997721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903527640574757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574342613497373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7134206457601979,0.0,0.3917401966403565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910171113412108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DariaDelta,2018/03/27,"WTF is wrong with my 30 y old BF and how can I help anymore? I don't even know where to begin. Long story short, I can't seem to explain anything to him. I tried to be patient, nice, understanding, strict, pissed off... no matter what approach I take, it doesn't seem to fall on fertile ground. Before everyone concludes he's an asshole, I have to say he's a really kind person and we love each other very much. He's just completely screwed up. He's 30. I suspect he has ADHD, some sort of mania, anxiety and absolutely shit confidence.

We have moved abroad 5 years ago and he still hasn't found and kept a job. He keeps going on about 'when we get a car' 'when we get a dog' etc. and I have to keep reminding him to sort his stuff out because we'll never be able to afford everything solely on my paycheck. 

He just can't seem to adjust anywhere. It's always something. He's annoyed with colleagues. Or clients. Or the job itself. But he never wants to break out of his shell and fight for himself.  Or simply stick it up for a while. Get used to things. It's like he's seeing the world how it should be, and then constantly all over again, naively, rediscovering that the world is shit and life owes him absolutely NOTHING. And his annoyed solution is always the one that requires the least effort and then finally he gives up. 

I feel like he's waving his middle finger to all the universe, except that the universe doesn't give a shit. No one does. The only person he's damaging is himself. And me, because I try to help.

I tried talking. But I'm talking to the point where I sicken myself. And I get it, when someone constantly tries to help, it falls on dead ears after awhile. I tried not talking, leaving him to figure out what and how to do, but we always end up in that same place, and I'm having to help again.

I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore.

",2.313081977471839,4.261259388297873,3.629856070087609,88.73529411764706,77.45744680851064,6.125657071339173,23.558823529411764,7.048011613610866,0.8270406132665835,1454,47,298,16,34,475,189,376,0.105,0.825,0.07,-0.9139,4,0,1,0,1,0,52.0,6,0,0,3,16,17,9,1,17,0,24,10,6,5,4,69,53,30,1,2,11,0,2,2,1,2,1,2,0,2,18,26,0,4,13,0,1,6,12,12,0,2,2,5,35,5,43,46,8,51,0,1,1,3,46,23,6,9,23,190,53,3,0.0916891727087184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101925676892507,0.0,0.08127691939816513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22887821028041155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014196615786772,0.0,0.18186204342276754,0.0,0.0,0.07545237671545138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178573731020372,0.0,0.07802073274845044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613435312557964,0.1981668450455334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023781291983079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120939223163495,0.0,0.10225766450843987,0.06055983383292572,0.0,0.0,0.08761293377635485,0.08240431627861045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636080067291663,0.06550276330347139,0.0,0.1004410069710458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053244531157317,0.0,0.08476516270956469,0.19161523363703936,0.17591321854029374,0.05210906982817892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24582927896737045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18197471208392105,0.1629950991330343,0.0,0.09548016386609197,0.10077994288338127,0.0,0.0,0.09708559502712008,0.0,0.0,0.06476277425514901,0.08958939677294762,0.0,0.0,0.08114203255721524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275305815392595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745108009983383,0.0674020918323342,0.0,0.14143268490232858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797823408467809,0.0,0.09621236297880573,0.0,0.12426191272373655,0.06973374751734096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011889798599022,0.09579567043498503,0.0,0.08667590476944158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058738431872653984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291491027189452,0.0,0.0,0.07306439961163988,0.250411137688565,0.0,0.0,0.2823528545300489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768793849348543,0.07058680467885592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322309176491527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496216630910586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893884701862063,0.22108885169740325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091421218298242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112546481692665,0.0,0.0,0.09545166238212498,0.0,0.07919000630443247,0.0,0.07565316995166796,0.054080649648152304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024771674951446,0.0,0.05904482107680379
mentalhealth,girlweibo,2018/03/27,How do stalkers choose their victims? I've had a lot of unwanted attention all my life. Im trying to understand why. ,1.4481159420289842,4.115035260869568,3.817391304347826,81.34898550724641,87.69565217391305,8.284057971014493,29.40579710144928,8.841846274778883,3.333388405797102,93,5,17,3,3,32,22,23,0.189,0.8109999999999999,0.0,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,7,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957532962785169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241755421536641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901895993693809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116022915281389,0.0,0.0,0.4777913663841187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41413812401846617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Vladelie,2018/03/27,"I pass my days behind my computer  I still have friends and i used to have a girlfriend and also a job but despite all this i never was this kind of person who go out often. It even get wrose when i start having mentall illness. 

My days results in staying behind my computer watching movies,visiting forums, listening to music and so on. I wish i could be like everybody else working,having friends with who you hang out. Most of friends are busy with school,work, girlfriend, i am the only one that doesn t have any of that.

How to get away from this situation ",4.568188073394495,5.978605211009183,5.096227064220184,82.79278096330276,70.28440366972477,7.651834862385322,30.13876146788991,8.07648339933343,2.12007247706422,444,18,83,6,8,142,76,109,0.032,0.8079999999999999,0.16,0.9327,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,3,2,17,16,8,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,8,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,13,5,16,13,2,15,0,0,1,0,10,5,0,2,7,64,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966524483503364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357732783492547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875838703928476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940948294937754,0.0,0.0,0.2575238731095685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667874009273091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318712467406794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627623902335802,0.0,0.20862457965071826,0.0,0.11346939992763012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19812828601864335,0.0,0.0,0.2079115389048554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754208936394666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20120680983039266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398741465677074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529242334505412,0.15184777835390645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743323698873506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206305476681616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442229084361148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131791064586322,0.21280728240901592,0.15944595270663836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243912672511474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295951416663993,0.0,0.0,0.1453523225686387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skuu,2018/03/27,"Brain blockages - Regular sudden demotivation spirals, hard to climb out of This is a long shot but for maybe 15 years I've been regularly entering demotivated, low-mood ditches where I struggle to start doing anything. They're not the end of the world in themselves but they're regular and unpleasant enough that I'd say it's a mental health problem for me.

I usually break out of them by just waiting for maybe an hour sometimes, feeling miserable, or if I'm lucky I find something very interesting and it breaks me out. Conversation works best.

I'm mainly looking for tips or general advice on what I could do, preferably from someone who has experienced similar symptoms. 

I was previously diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and I feel it's linked to that. Low-mood etc.

Thanks!",7.75339593114241,8.907497563380284,7.930938967136152,66.30365414710487,62.80281690140846,11.663223787167453,39.72143974960876,11.429527900616536,5.0857205007824735,642,34,103,19,9,209,106,142,0.14400000000000002,0.731,0.125,-0.2388,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,2,7,0,2,5,0,7,4,1,0,0,24,15,8,0,4,7,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,7,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,6,9,4,18,12,4,18,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,4,7,62,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236684096574492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349383168925455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451544243372092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511103949979865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969102318952252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083353135457022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903273366120104,0.0,0.0,0.2021588954243296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622970532277,0.18225862941123525,0.19672213218368287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837676230843585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121780169749833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801132005903376,0.0,0.0,0.1874949464743028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737091978406694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610011954708514,0.14812366867779958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544161079760816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776022503002725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878197049016594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027287524726448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945517266465516,0.13579409218085178,0.17445480166581254,0.0,0.12485016594794895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844017409091816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833373595118016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239675445684992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942693122272072,0.14554070808177222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284144487466322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358975537402592
mentalhealth,wholehealthoh,2018/03/27,"male hormone replacement therapy Testosterone in Men Testosterone is the life source for the male body. It’s what makes a man a man. Without enough, you’ll feel like you don’t have enough gas in your tank. Estrogen in Men Men need a little estrogen for heart, bone, and brain health. But too much estrogen is counterproductive for men. Healthy levels of DHEA are a “strong predictor” for longevity and a lower incidence of disease. It’s also the most plentiful sex hormone in the body.
",5.729577922077922,7.904092931818187,5.269675324675326,79.6727272727273,68.54545454545455,9.119480519480518,31.88961038961039,9.606745405546679,3.1846701298701303,390,17,68,9,7,119,58,88,0.026,0.875,0.099,0.743,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,9,0,6,11,5,1,0,8,9,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,8,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,11,8,4,6,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,1,1,40,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923732596245331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979176014202256,0.0,0.2502041059310022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4631740766453665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133272707636563,0.16011909382308742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382405677839313,0.0,0.2655960863033733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831021783250596,0.10949899137065244,0.2246379506175943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149609054561518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476193250005866,0.16619015397786324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563131118285495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160541005215817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychologyresearch1,2018/03/27,"Warning!! To all the young people who consider taking an antidepressant. You should know that up to 70% get sexual problems from taking these drugs. And often the numbness that they cause physically, and emotionally may not always go away when you stop the medication. And it may be extremely hard to stop this medication. You may never be able to stop it.",5.127142857142856,7.980685761904766,5.92404761904762,71.29178571428574,72.33333333333333,9.279365079365078,26.37301587301588,9.725611199111238,3.0088539682539683,285,10,46,8,6,93,45,63,0.223,0.777,0.0,-0.9198,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,6,4,0,1,2,17,11,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,7,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,4,6,36,11,0,0.21061522011794792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524873517164002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787993232989856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635984769361952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442467894298843,0.0,0.0,0.2369137745990685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003775968899013,0.0,0.11969748322268207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886698681804655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574861691297213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4243453528477632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243944177142675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460140747004399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153032144609476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282512642316368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167128682822919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FearlessWorth7,2018/03/27,"Having trouble figuring out what's wrong with me Hey all. I've always considered myself pretty healthy mentally. Never had depression (to my knowledge), never had any schizo symptoms, OCD, etc. Recently, I've had it stuck in my head that everything is temporary. This has significantly downgraded my quality of life. Every single enjoyable act I do, I think ""this will end soon"" and it suddenly becomes not as enjoyable. Eating, gaming, listening to music, it all seems so banal and pointless now because I know it's just fleeting and eventually the song will end, the food will be gone, and the game will be over. I just can't get it out of my head, especially since it is the objective truth and no medication or whatever is going to stop that from being true. 

The satisfactory things I used to get out of activities for the longterm (making memories, keepsakes, etc.) seem pointless now because the act of remembering something is also temporary, and the keepsakes will eventually break or I'll lose them. You don't even remember most of the things you do longterm, so it's like they never happened once you forget.

I loved keeping up with Apple, and reading all the latest news, but all I can think about now is how Apple will eventually collapse and all my iPhones that I'll ever use will eventually stop working. I used to love studying Korean but now it seems pointless because all my potential interactions coming from learning the language are, you guessed it, temporary.


On the ""upside"", things like work and unpleasurable things are now a lot less unenjoyable because I'm constantly thinking of how it will end. That's good, but I'd trade that away to feel normal again and stop thinking about this. A human being is supposed to enjoy the present for what it is, savor the moment, and be excited about making memories, not constantly think about the reality of, well, reality and think it's pointless.


Do I still get pleasure out of things? Sure. But not nearly as much. I still love to eat pizza and play video games with my pals, same as I always did. But it's very diminished, seems entirely pointless, and I'm worried that a few years of this might make me suicidal (even though I must stress that I have never considered it and don't right now). Does anyone have any idea what is wrong here? Could I have some sort of depression? Mental issues are HUGE in my family with every member of my immediate suffering from something. I know I should go to the doctor (and will as soon as I get health insurance in a few months) but I thought I'd probe about and see if anyone had any clues in the meantime.",7.473642266824082,7.780613235537193,7.583659976387249,71.47925619834714,63.33884297520661,10.963872491145219,35.0543093270366,10.686352973137794,3.8397582054309334,2082,86,361,49,28,674,229,484,0.083,0.7859999999999999,0.132,0.9788,0,0,2,0,0,0,66.0,0,4,2,3,29,24,0,1,21,0,46,14,2,8,15,99,85,37,1,5,14,0,1,2,1,12,5,2,0,1,33,26,4,4,20,7,1,6,11,8,1,0,8,5,36,16,52,59,17,53,0,4,1,3,17,15,0,13,33,263,69,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582662015583373,0.12125089210452858,0.0,0.0,0.1486421145198047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189096234175334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845446930354418,0.0,0.0,0.1776593808141733,0.08046826428735898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276253104403301,0.0,0.1574717841283768,0.0,0.05817286707220055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255086074688005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457540726356157,0.06376037097498045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910815881703546,0.0,0.0,0.1935972873730465,0.0,0.16251655888496444,0.09624682754572418,0.06590613845659754,0.122775565818085,0.0,0.06548196647774362,0.0,0.06868602486636834,0.0,0.03684025949904371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810273106939301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226559569067766,0.0,0.08281615618624855,0.061111601256643576,0.0,0.0,0.08026362261423574,0.0,0.06442995234319449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955098065287276,0.07744688706625281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225019268364371,0.0,0.07604702246783082,0.0,0.06476141117037754,0.0,0.0,0.08008401913324838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051463248580852806,0.07119153633181935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151182327877636,0.0,0.06194305780320525,0.19727727471137474,0.0,0.14590406235796713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339889292611658,0.1468517027434555,0.07729305995639392,0.0,0.0,0.058156242594908675,0.0,0.05356056232506284,0.0,0.2247768260176802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138743557931455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759363647659577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412492289984039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287982437254772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194056614147455,0.0,0.16507259689375234,0.06222213361253121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058060072362104476,0.26531642134434336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060270633750844176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121825405874194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637235176214925,0.18274293671991126,0.0834610068497697,0.0,0.0,0.07969713181369513,0.0,0.06866978895369881,0.07572954921791199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420250892379274,0.2801148891304246,0.0715846855823899,0.0578427867168588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887832181265904,0.0,0.06011721912673696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655099866931998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608605188320196,0.07399297577109741,0.0,0.0,0.15932217932535553,0.0,0.04691952034846533
mentalhealth,Xeenophile,2018/03/27,"Help me enjoy my computer games again (and why can't I?) I'm a lifelong computer gamer. My world has always been other worlds. To me, they are REAL - or at least, they used to be. I never left the ""creative play"" stage of my development, you might say, and it's no coincidence that I've been trying to pursue a career as an actor. I've long believed that those who live in the real world are powerless to change it. Xeen is more ""my country"" than any earthly nation. The first time I beat Planescape: Torment, I was literally trembling as I walked away from the computer. I've been profoundly influenced by games most people have never even heard of. Eventually, though, I made a mistake: I joined MMORPGs after a long period of avoiding them (for reasons that were, in hindsight, adorably naive: ""What if there's nobody else to play with?"" ""What if everybody else has already gone on all the quests?"" ""When do I win?""). First I joined City of Heroes, then World of Warcraft, and later on, a bit of Guild Wars. Things were good for the first few years; they were MMORPGs, complete with the essential ""RP""; then, circa 2007 by my reckoning, everything really went downhill FAST. The mundanes invaded, and dragged the entire atmosphere down to their imagination-hating level, and spread to the rest of gaming from there. ""Fun"" became synonymous for ""remove all obstacles and impediments to mindless DPS optimization"". Many of you probably know that story or similar, I won't go further into it. Anyways, those environments ruined my mind - my limitless inner multiverse! - and it's all been decaying ever since. Ever heard of the MYST parody PYST (it had a cameo by John Goodman)? It feels an awful lot like that.

I happily quit World of Warcraft in 2009, and City of Heroes/Villains not too long after, but the damage lingers. Help me enjoy my computer games again. Help me reopen my mind's eye. Help me boot out the trash, the anti-intellectuals, the wholly unwelcome and horrifyingly misguided politicization. For the time being, I just want my mind's eye back.

I should mention that I have severe OCD and severe depression. I'm also autistic, but that's a very different matter. It partly feels like the problem is I've become MORE obsessive-compulsive, VASTLY MORE depressed, and A LOT LESS autistic. I'd like to turn all of that around.",5.645731132075473,7.496395837264153,6.025141509433965,75.4650235849057,68.22169811320754,9.167924528301887,29.99528301886793,9.595489714322824,2.992569811320755,1841,71,310,41,32,591,241,424,0.13699999999999998,0.769,0.094,-0.9665,2,1,0,0,0,0,92.0,0,2,5,7,15,23,1,2,27,1,24,2,2,4,8,55,38,24,1,6,8,0,2,3,0,3,0,3,0,0,22,16,0,1,5,7,0,5,6,11,0,3,14,7,36,12,48,19,16,53,0,4,2,0,20,22,0,8,28,212,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113840400168375,0.0824975763054427,0.08583796829008354,0.0,0.0,0.07015281505020461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183489632705054,0.0,0.0,0.09692287559132376,0.07932421228767297,0.0,0.0,0.11393289069249506,0.0,0.11622678496088334,0.0,0.0,0.11262476845169125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913034434239922,0.0,0.1081620335776556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777043233422456,0.0,0.0,0.10778097719810716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235505884832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813667089367707,0.18662952246428816,0.0,0.0,0.09271418732726897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432230136339772,0.07369802628831681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26324532186122884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862860441879013,0.08652630260735343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765857766921888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669442406226612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208440482117556,0.0,0.0,0.1511973247892863,0.0,0.09109279006413322,0.2738819255968179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754070799551258,0.0,0.0976131507750604,0.0,0.10458876035261587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094372027194787,0.3124887043369519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591277864365555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171298758217113,0.0,0.07151864178515634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122468502908284,0.09871085988060052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972410512749092,0.0,0.23483892778800405,0.06608738743172908,0.10606638328705148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203753098372815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330844599954849,0.0,0.08533559892108994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853538666750619,0.0,0.10135486616922446,0.0,0.12030767013785253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003934517041584,0.11220922068901792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909772461594373,0.0,0.08511838320562952,0.06084685497913271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563100449359137,0.09308648814522112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643210998209348
mentalhealth,tobixice,2018/03/27,Normal life sometimes i feel like I'm living a normal life like I use to but then I hit a brick wall that reminds me that I have mental health issues.  I'm definitely better at managing my mental health but it sucks knowing I can only function in conditional situations.,2.649102564102563,5.435423653846158,4.809230769230768,76.01910256410257,81.69230769230771,6.543589743589743,24.051282051282055,7.793537801064563,1.7940666666666667,218,8,36,4,6,75,37,52,0.062,0.7290000000000001,0.209,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,2,4,0,1,0,7,9,3,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,3,3,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,20,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185802723468118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622506729361024,0.1500844536512387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466201325485717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21927370189489867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545698153663796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29677787930841176,0.20527341121957385,0.0,0.1855085178924222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42343165380009695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116765327631743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977877679305308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361438508011241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777900447145828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814456097947402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thrwy1995,2018/03/27,"Help! Is my SO showing signs of depression? My SO has been through a lot regarding his work life. He spent nearly three years sending out his resume to several companies, going through some interviews and always getting rejected. The only two jobs he was able to get were through friends who recommended him to their bosses. We've recently decided to open up our own business and things are not well. We lost our only contract a month ago, bills are pilling up and we have no idea of when we're gonna be able to get another contract. Money has been tight, we are mostly in debt and couldn't get a loan due to us being self-employed. We've recently talked to a friend who wants to help us move to another country (we live in a shitty country where you can barely make it by earning minimum wage), and that possibility made me focus again, it motivated me to keep trying so we can have a better life in the future. The problem is that my SO doesn't feel the same. He spends all day playing video games, he's not trying to get in touch with possible clients, he's barely helping me with our ""moving out"" plans. Today we had a talk and he said something that is very true: we're 25, we still live with our parents and he kept getting ""noes"" for three years when he tried applying for jobs. I'm completely lost. I don't know what I should do. He doesn't like to talk about his feelings at all, and when he does he always gets angry. Are those signs of depression? What can I do to help? Thanks in advance.

Tl;dr: SO thinks everything he does is useless.",4.341818181818184,5.584435540983609,4.94403129657228,84.30898286140092,70.63934426229507,8.168405365126677,28.617734724292106,8.575989854853784,2.0201803278688524,1220,45,243,20,22,391,171,305,0.098,0.79,0.112,0.4276,6,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,13,1,1,8,13,15,0,0,11,0,29,3,0,4,3,49,53,16,0,4,2,1,4,1,2,2,3,1,0,0,11,21,0,3,7,4,7,5,7,7,1,3,11,5,28,8,37,37,7,33,0,6,0,0,47,13,0,3,16,149,39,8,0.19042912023930028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440196262825155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845228299785935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968153639177044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420954089667458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983065475263923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140551437314685,0.0,0.164016322223586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664580640060736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557270716526337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628668494784673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712506591702645,0.0,0.34821974478530543,0.0,0.05411262873639619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25528125044565153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748564881899468,0.0,0.0,0.18897151814221788,0.08463107587912032,0.0,0.0,0.052327432165892966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450571928316413,0.04651702460125864,0.0,0.16815240199451578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078758798472639,0.08094801410883523,0.0,0.0900943189769638,0.06355645823304272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599935348761415,0.20239601799805929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448299270067909,0.0,0.0,0.1057245011293694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21468022056872293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110747502728277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880257826960664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905708505886616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932955172876028,0.10756535118817133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733008201426368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603847070521394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22958957028221896,0.0,0.08766077447858263,0.0,0.0,0.06325632292989608,0.061009645529239376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025226984713433,0.0,0.0,0.19393330882010587,0.0,0.09301079002020032,0.0,0.2290627847287287,0.0,0.0,0.07856198377412411,0.0561600144827581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560932435654389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931733376704323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263010997015465
mentalhealth,luhcious,2018/03/27,"Difficulty living with Schizoaffective Disorder Life has been really tough living with this mental illness. It's been almost 6 years since I've been having to cope with schizoaffective disorder. I've always wanted to commit suicide and I have been in the psychiatric ward numerous times due to those attempts in the past because I've always heard voices(auditory hallucination) telling me to kill myself with a knife. I was 16 years old when I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder by a psychiatrist when I first went to the ER. Since then, I've always had to battle major depressive episodes throughout my life. I've tried all the mainstream medicines to treat my mental illness to the point that there was no more options to offer to me. So I had to choose one medicine that gave me the best treatment possible even though the treatment is not fully effective. As a result, it's been really difficult to keep up with school and work. Due to my major depressive episodes, I've accumulated like 17 W's on my college transcript. I moved from job to job because I was unable to keep them due to my poor emotional state of mind. At this point, I'm not sure if it's worth continuing to live on as it seems that I'm constantly having to battle this out 24/7 with no promising hopes in the future of being able to function in the world normally eventually. In addition, I'm unable to vent this out to the people I really want to share this to, because they just tell me that it hurts them to hear this from me. I end up not even bringing this up to them anymore because I can't have them be in pain with me just cause I selfishly want to vent it out. To add onto these issues, even the people around me expect so much from me and demanding all this bullshit without even trying to understand what it really feels like to live with schizoaffective disorder especially when my treatments are so limited. My support group is so limited because most of the people around me just tell me that it's just ""excuses"". Never knew that having schizoaffective disorder was just merely an excuse. *sigh* Sure, it shouldn't stop you from wanting to try harder in life... but w/e. I've.. been just having really difficult times ever since 6 years ago. ",7.521815831344469,7.749929243436752,7.468392004773271,72.6131210222753,63.24821002386635,10.992879872712807,33.44878679395386,10.686352973137794,3.607064359586317,1799,67,314,42,24,577,195,419,0.133,0.804,0.063,-0.9741,2,0,0,0,0,3,39.0,0,1,5,7,22,22,3,0,16,0,27,7,0,3,7,63,47,16,2,9,12,0,1,2,0,1,7,2,0,0,26,19,0,5,6,0,2,3,9,11,2,2,17,3,35,10,69,27,8,49,0,3,0,0,17,22,0,6,25,213,61,6,0.07519940847748731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665973834261965,0.0,0.07530134505815456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877157958568463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745776065258294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338868334907906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292043071610076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891713976230763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725050713679618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126384548487163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953828066177436,0.07632581666953672,0.0,0.0,0.4309251854320905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845892129735049,0.0666043555440927,0.0,0.0,0.19867400030747176,0.06802217021527188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03802308041562825,0.05372247244186922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396457843531507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475519868066403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468998034127951,0.0,0.0,0.08050252208631,0.0,0.0,0.07848864503081139,0.14924761890965044,0.13368137891779774,0.08319700376104623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934669835509924,0.07347726502651679,0.0,0.2656098216106049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156663331134476,0.0,0.07592996562061541,0.0,0.0,0.07992507034915061,0.0552802177857894,0.0,0.05799841971431952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367945396172405,0.0,0.0,0.07890912929503974,0.0,0.05095706536033353,0.0,0.08001747257256242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178634438219242,0.1564014040492181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217549521620354,0.08477603413961868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240873333307912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761058160840292,0.0,0.0684587171856413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661718334546853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287007269379323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225594751648573,0.08533539758694457,0.14174910508317598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718279267226568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388303702088006,0.0,0.08769875964169309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316638641219846,0.0,0.0,0.07828523627464364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741823787805144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971060504926542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248954627514834,0.0,0.05474606499224314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527786065014384
mentalhealth,witch-bitch-,2018/03/27,"Struggling today So today is just one of those dates where my BD is acting up and making my moods super intense. I have severe self-esteem issues and I cannot go without my makeup. Today was the day I ran out of foundation and then went to a makeup store to find it out of stock. 
    
I flipped out, I went into a full panic. I kept freaking out saying I’m going to be disgusting and ugly and that sent my boyfriend into a panic trying to calm me down. Then we made it back to my home and then he had to leave. As soon as he left I cried for an hour about what just happened and then the suicidal thoughts were 10x more intense then they usually are. 

I tried talking to him, but anything I bring up about how I’m feeling goes through one ear and out the other or he makes light of the situation.  My medication is no longer strong enough, and  I’ve been having extreme meltdowns, the good news is I can fully control my anger. It’s just when the depression and mania kick in is when I really struggle. 

I also have PTSD from past abuse that give me nightmares so I struggle to sleep which also makes me feel on edge.  I can’t really confide in the only three people in my life, they never really know what to say or do. Any advice would be appreciated even if I’ve already tried that particular piece of advice before. ",3.572886792452832,4.9087066943396245,4.806179245283023,84.2043632075472,72.62264150943396,7.111320754716981,24.57075471698113,7.554174236665415,1.1553056603773584,1034,30,205,12,20,342,160,265,0.162,0.764,0.07400000000000001,-0.9747,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,1,0,2,3,16,14,2,5,11,0,20,4,2,6,1,41,40,28,1,2,8,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,11,18,0,2,5,0,1,8,5,9,0,3,11,6,29,4,36,26,4,43,0,1,0,0,12,17,0,3,18,149,40,1,0.0,0.1270425243690957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095554731828469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832399429242267,0.17149347214989233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291577748602958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823595044772177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824483893951119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123945206721952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202604716142604,0.0,0.0,0.11778017478379008,0.06915040152707959,0.0,0.0923515962250102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079072144600836,0.0,0.07082022766964781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084310260051616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800049861948701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285872168584714,0.12187537366982633,0.08993413340707049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481754380988534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755409091273152,0.0,0.10559372367028667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191366161574562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058927328955571824,0.0,0.0,0.11353439248582728,0.11649883922328876,0.0,0.07573525432584692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145763611240573,0.21471791180252303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801657447375483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826975101380374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14531507754858347,0.08154843834381169,0.0,0.2516077655852526,0.0,0.0,0.10235713268672557,0.07433539718652113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533874095526315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060707000776698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053714381759033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118576801394294,0.12113223545141664,0.0,0.0,0.1205239058893772,0.10730111305374833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33628040511263835,0.0,0.11728529996445715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618233033040595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512362285164601,0.0,0.0,0.30490652650841943,0.0,0.0,0.21839351581508776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809173220494627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879484634878852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335979872414952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761686240247121,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sslytherins,2018/03/27,"Need some advice - 22F Hi,

So I haven't really reached out to anyone regarding this since I'm really not comfortable with people. I feel like things in my life are really starting to spiral and I feel  like I don't know how to have a positive outlook for the future. This is gonna be pretty long, so i guess bear in mind with me.

I recently graduated college but for the past 12 years I've had a Crohns disease, which was really rough as a kid. I was very lucky to actually be in remission for a long time but for the past 2 years after I got mono, I have been ill constantly. My stomach and most of all, my throat and mouth were in constant pain. I was and still am tired all the time. I wish it were just in my intestines so they could do surgery, but it's not like they can cut out my mouth. I feel like my body is destroying itself from the inside out. I recently started an infusion drug which has really helped the pain, which is amazing. I can't help but feel this is temporary and one day it just won't work anymore, just like all the others. I am dreading my future, I'm only 22. 

How do you deal with keeping a positive outlook with a chronic illness? I know people have it much worse than me but I can't help but feel overwhelmed sometimes.

I really dont have anyone to talk to about these things. Like i mentioned, i graduated college and i have moved back home. I really have only kept in contact with my friends from high school sparsely, and it is always me making the effort. Sometimes i just dont want to make an effort anymore and no one with text me or invite me. I really have always been bad and awkward with people, as an only child maybe. In high school i always tried to be funny to impress people but i just cant do that all the time anymore. I constantly just say what i think people want to hear that sometimes I just feel like nobody at all. I really dont have any meaningful connections with anyone. 


Like most people, i guess I thought i would do something emotionally fulfilling with a job but i work 45 hours in a cubicle doing banal computer work spersed with office drama and power plays. I do try to talk to people at work but I'm very tomboyish and I dont feel like i fit in.

How have you navigated this post grad hell? Does anyone feel so inept at talking to people? Sometimes i cant even stand it when people look at me. 

I still live at home which is fine for now and I'm sure i will move out within the year. I paid off my student debt. I know i should be happy about a good job and a good financial situation but I am just floating through my life. These health issues especially have me feeling constantly looking over my shoulder.

I dont need a big group of frienda, maybe 1 or 2 or 3 people to hang out with sometimes or text me once and a while. I want to be healthy but i am exhuasted 24/7 and have gained weight from predisone and my poor choices. Every relationship has been very unhealthy in one way or another. I wish i was zonked all day.

How do i get better? 

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mentalhealth,throwitaway1q2w3e,2018/03/27,"Recognizing onset of downward spiral Every few years I have some big episode. Some kind of panic attack/crippling anxiety. Never sought help because it eventually passes, but the aftershocks can last days. My stupid cat had to be put down today and I'm seeing the patterns leading up to another...whatever.

I don't even have the words or terms to describe it if I went into a doctor. I went once, maybe 8 years ago, but it didn't help. No followup. 

The spiral basically goes: death/other emotional break -> ponder never seeing someone/thing again -> they're never coming back -> choke up -> how could I deal with a family member dying -> how could they deal with me dying -> oh god im going to die (eventually, not...acutely)

I always had this fear of explaining myself to someone, because, in my mind, how can anyone else feel like this and not be freaking out all. the. time. And if I tell them how I feel, what if *they* start feeling that way, like and infection. Which, in clear moments, I know is ridiculous.

I don't know where to start fixing this. Partner is no use in this department. Doesn't get it, despite basically this explanation given to her last time (3 years ago) I had a bad episode.

I'm not suicidal, which was what she thought. I'm the opposite of that.

I don't know if this is a vent, or a rant, or me looking for advice or what. I just feel like once I stop typing, and stop being distracted, that little niggling thought with start to grow in the back of my head again, until it reaches fever pitch and I can't sleep or function.",3.2387348734873487,5.353785986798683,4.286336633663371,84.31969196919695,75.27062706270627,6.865126512651265,25.083608360836077,7.793537801064563,1.4449199119911988,1226,42,232,18,27,398,166,303,0.157,0.746,0.096,-0.9706,0,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,0,3,1,11,11,2,3,12,0,22,5,2,6,5,56,48,22,4,6,14,0,4,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,19,12,0,2,11,0,0,9,13,7,0,0,10,7,26,4,27,33,5,51,0,0,3,0,12,13,0,11,30,145,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823997987894048,0.17823341403906556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365176140921718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690770140096867,0.0,0.0,0.07029522277015514,0.10300824910188228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143711452907918,0.0,0.15460780846624708,0.08394110848351985,0.12256833643058547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866005384572003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605353234883812,0.0,0.0,0.06483566333496289,0.2072908413818412,0.0,0.0,0.3130130881525793,0.0,0.0,0.10290009528389538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398267426209115,0.11308643413550562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640129828742339,0.0,0.08470364349849181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477385055964313,0.11312791546999047,0.2033306341506118,0.14364202308625013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252450130663066,0.0,0.0571353927206428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031761724384156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477070731012916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085932185275512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468996429044762,0.1657514219883122,0.16389611941872198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734648071168818,0.10076078036112324,0.0,0.0,0.08442265431663727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009992151659324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015099769134446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232612442193114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412937266698412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795416961938684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106373670751316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022405233768175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060590665833302,0.0,0.08518154114280714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134739672994252,0.0,0.0,0.16810068529678884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996711594881796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787053775273393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962442534481575,0.11724355455455347,0.0,0.09529381591800433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682849501387943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797986562506901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863907576234152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942204524932221
mentalhealth,curious_bookworm,2018/03/27,"Why am I so obsessed with labeling myself? I'm finally trying to really work on my mental health. Until about a year ago, I was on medication but not seeing a therapist or actually DOING anything beyond popping a capsule every morning (well, every morning that I remembered). I met someone, fell madly in love, and am getting med adjustments and counseling. 

I'm also obsessed with naming what's wrong with me. I don't know why. My symptoms are my symptoms regardless of what my illness is called. And, from what I can tell, no matter what I'm officially labeled, the treatment will still be pretty much the same. But I'm still like ""no, what AM I? What do I have?."" When I look at my medical record online, it notes ""Mood disorder"" as an ongoing health condition. Previously, it said MDD - recurrent episodes (If I have recurrent episodes, doesn't that mean that I have to feel not depressed at some point? It's always, always there).

Why is it so important?",4.030926966292134,6.380384044943824,5.4543679775280935,75.7723384831461,73.71910112359551,8.719662921348316,30.787921348314608,9.354420925462401,3.2677404494382016,752,35,127,19,16,252,114,178,0.122,0.765,0.112,0.2453,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,1,2,6,0,17,8,0,0,0,22,30,13,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,7,1,0,0,13,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,3,4,18,3,16,25,3,15,0,1,2,1,6,7,0,3,8,92,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.13315766664059714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095664488608285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912077742349227,0.2270783276732224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228853657054126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933295551245992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175260824804508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638604627841204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299337322901488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899433375614683,0.0,0.0,0.14947671863251785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712906441995463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900846219480272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499056222386832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666365390854394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458548413688414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315344063825033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863645137817916,0.15156763656247949,0.2749224780030457,0.13751172670218886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030806958127457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899143706489893,0.0,0.0,0.13882094588212635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874147752867018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457374620796402,0.0,0.12979729227310927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873473924799723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561550877998092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794181112306926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28365217102115114,0.0,0.0,0.1192652397779576,0.0,0.0,0.15843152471125796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926420888649049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226869177289234,0.0,0.3693806682182159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933882890661422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918906333186374,0.0,0.08787074495727612
mentalhealth,weirdkid0000,2018/03/27,"sleep through the day and not able to eat? every single night im awake.. usually 2am till 2pm i CANT. i repeat CANT. sleep at night no matter how tired i am, so dont tell me to fix my sleeping schedule ive been to the doctors they gave me sleeping tablets they dont even work...

i cry everytime i wake up simply because i now cant eat and ive got to go through the night hungry, we usually have no food / money i cant buy anything and i always miss dinner, my family hardly care so they dont really put meals up for me and i cant eat cold food anyway... im stuck depressed and done with life

its 3am while writing this... please help me",-0.41488309352518016,1.6056004028776982,2.059995503597122,95.7668277877698,88.13669064748201,4.913848920863308,18.759442446043167,6.322622252153567,-0.12547158273381287,492,14,115,5,16,168,85,139,0.108,0.804,0.08800000000000001,-0.3897,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,3,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,14,15,5,1,0,11,20,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,0,2,2,11,2,0,0,5,2,21,1,12,15,1,16,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,0,11,66,23,2,0.11227373766643196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342074380007263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239171975704694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684410283942997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144705582032962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332742885800588,0.07240727262027433,0.0,0.09670120573577844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491692794720568,0.0,0.11489501424188535,0.394751953121676,0.0,0.0,0.3446521884062876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415574484983976,0.0,0.0945954663105682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584168776514524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715236984887489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380775246513314,0.0,0.08979556441297172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057521613960874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525471972899116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425498058997201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930226124269048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160838915051237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324284878709273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286611656918767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192543128247535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494192816681829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813219538576584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904214531354594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473073202507865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173661819492438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xxkybby,2018/03/27,"Help me get off Zoloft please!! So, here’s the thing. I’ve been on the antidepressant Zoloft (sertraline) for 2+ years now due to depression, anxiety and PTSD. The psychiatrist I went to when I got prescribed, was the worst and would not tell me the proper way to taper off of the medication. I am seeing a new psychiatrist next week (yay!!!), but I desperately need a clean start, because I have been struggling with this medication and know my new psychiatrist will want to treat me for a different mental illness. Please share stories of how you got off Zoloft or anything to help pleaseeee :) LOVE you all already! I am starting this as positive as possible! ",4.939173553719009,7.119935024793392,5.317429752066119,78.49069008264465,70.65289256198348,9.137520661157025,30.28181818181818,9.642632912329526,2.9908472727272724,522,22,96,13,10,166,82,121,0.114,0.627,0.259,0.9733,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,1,9,1,8,7,0,1,1,13,19,10,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,1,12,4,16,11,2,16,0,1,1,1,7,4,0,1,10,61,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212902847081006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126257425175652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581630697427552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060866651771933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215127370211472,0.0,0.0,0.17243478269306928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622814325233273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26399989032156324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124965619976275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070330356271128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895772987614955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325268705691369,0.16632450165217372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237727572163933,0.0,0.3187990700396665,0.1755250777344182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623352531431872,0.0,0.18606115768706372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292640733138666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131517883975595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23363653628336786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253875356723933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425483590542432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964721988997192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734662357531224,0.1310034325192065,0.13238752040000062,0.0,0.0,0.15299649258386902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724179509436652,0.0,0.0,0.10628226563161597
mentalhealth,Sabyhb,2018/03/28,"How do I talk to my friend about his depression? My friend is deeply depressed and uses “chemical imbalances” to explain why he feels like shit most days. He takes a bunch of supplements and uses logic like, “I take potassium to balance out my salt levels” or takes a shit ton (like pours powders in his water) of magnesium or zinc to “cure” his imbalances and feel better for short spurts of time. This short spurt only lasts a few hours before he spirals back into depression. He has never sought advice from any healthcare professionals (not sure if he has regular physicals but maybe he has before). 

I’ve tried to tell him that maybe it’s his mentality that is the issue and that receiving counseling might be the best treatment. He broke up with his ex a couple years ago and seems very hurt from it, works as a grocery store as a bagger and cart pusher, has a dirty room always, never does dishes (from meals that look like gruel), browsing on 4chan all the time, etc. He believes that his problems stem from his body and that he needs to solve the nutritional balances that he claims to have before he can get his life together. The problem is that he is seemingly healthy and won’t take his mentality into question, using the logic that this mainly stems from the “chemical imbalances”. How do I help this individual? ",8.236464678178965,7.900618297959187,7.750204081632656,73.06452119309266,61.938775510204074,10.967032967032967,33.540031397174246,10.389873798559362,3.3712605965463105,1053,36,185,21,13,332,148,245,0.116,0.775,0.109,-0.6119,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,4,18,2,0,14,0,15,7,3,5,4,39,30,16,0,4,5,1,2,4,2,2,1,0,1,0,14,12,3,0,8,0,1,1,4,9,0,0,0,4,16,9,26,27,8,21,0,5,1,0,31,10,2,8,14,111,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552700386655793,0.09572700541891206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985669338036156,0.0,0.0,0.07343719938049474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303797915025422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27567572055765005,0.12166824060328825,0.11332929971675886,0.09550876456801484,0.0,0.11995302928758378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948936301736855,0.0,0.06964489715766083,0.0,0.2790360119131598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450315795743232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043788171363327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920641801149718,0.07714838879396158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686628537690842,0.0,0.05642054547755492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238371266433598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634882608211163,0.0,0.11560599485679646,0.0,0.0,0.11271395800519846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802661833260877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627683834442163,0.21103468817137847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906847678457907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169818149895496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176579189937332,0.11456078661993105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007353968027417,0.1665777627192172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821315925345498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666452494839965,0.0,0.0,0.12097400268155922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966208735269426,0.0,0.0,0.22170126062671186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177970757010528,0.0,0.32478147208291114,0.08679862155707375,0.09438840061465703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259401829077492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331841711666448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798071907287086,0.0,0.0891034190708351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744457132131468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861832330094648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954229994235597
mentalhealth,crimsoncomplainer,2018/03/28,"My girlfriend experiences hallucinations but has no other symptoms of schizophrenia. What's going on? Hey guys,

My girlfriend and I have talked a lot about how she often hears voices in her head and occasionally sees flashes of violence. She also says that if she tries to sleep in complete darkness she starts to see creatures in her room. This seemed like obvious signs of schizophrenia, however she doesn't seem to have any of the other symptoms. She seems to be thinking perfectly clearly, she doesn't have any disillusion (as far as I know), she knows that her hallucinations are not real and she doesn't interact with them physically (i.e. try to talk to them out loud). She is aware of her mental conditions and she is considering getting treatment for them.

She says that the voices are usually just annoying and she has learned to live with them, but sometimes they can be very convincing and try to get her to do bad things. She says that she has not let them make her do things that are too bad for several years, but I guess they told her to do something really bad a long time ago and she doesn't want to say what it was that she did.

How do I make sense of this? Is it actually schizophrenia? She seems perfectly lucid and grounded in reality except for the hallucinations. Could it have something to do with her autism? She has pretty severe Asperger's, but I've never known any form of autism to come with hallucinations. She was officially diagnosed with autism at 17 but many doctors considered her to be autistic as early as 12 years old and I'm pretty sure her hallucinations go back many years. This is also uncharacteristic of schizophrenia, as symptoms often start to show during early adulthood and not childhood.

Edit: She was diagnosed with schizophrenia a long time ago in a very non-clinical sense, but the reason why I'm asking is because I'm very skeptical of the diagnosis and it's likely that she was misdiagnosed because autism can share a lot of symptoms with schizophrenia.",7.317038043478258,8.25009554076087,7.131521739130437,72.4308695652174,63.70108695652174,10.095652173913043,33.39130434782609,10.074871250255047,3.355580434782609,1621,64,280,34,23,514,170,368,0.091,0.81,0.099,0.6042,1,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,7,2,10,12,2,0,10,0,37,9,2,5,6,61,63,27,0,3,12,0,0,2,2,0,7,8,1,1,20,20,0,0,10,1,0,3,9,5,0,0,6,10,45,7,50,52,3,32,0,0,2,0,54,11,0,10,20,197,65,3,0.0,0.0,0.08246453209383127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981688063208315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351569771229365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723985632695107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900061638329223,0.0,0.0,0.06497900438774863,0.2116740303315491,0.10302673001746594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279343552198797,0.08860171505948243,0.0,0.0,0.06747023706514464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154126387884747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649428265341083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266194694677538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830058028053513,0.0,0.0960520939044524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309160641452527,0.08367307562953565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672634361867369,0.0,0.09524309425297484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288329814213253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641192241659408,0.0,0.0825695908606007,0.0,0.07461932031299112,0.14956824515353567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368598299736932,0.0,0.0,0.11281527135140974,0.1713492847105884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516100113497717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651753407621326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867361242564394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194360093273686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096185006311889,0.05413596320790067,0.08688504790955208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688065563850613,0.0,0.0,0.13467883030171776,0.3077201235957837,0.0,0.1909328275941325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845658665631034,0.0,0.0,0.13011190592702346,0.0835774457427407,0.0,0.1196259188150707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964480991059131,0.3513315327730008,0.0,0.13584357588476695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228251910863256,0.05414728814967315,0.0,0.0,0.0985509014248626,0.0,0.0,0.08074799425588887,0.0,0.17211971424205616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307014050121608,0.20917602468229646,0.049843143003188525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625247257032515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325503556313287
mentalhealth,sevenkindsofgender,2018/03/28,"I was put in the hospital a year ago. I am scared of the future. I guess the issues aren’t important, you lot can probably fill in the gaps. Anxiety turned to panic, self harming and smoking copious amounts of weed became the norm and eventually one day at work...I lost it. So they put me in the hospital. That was a year ago.

Since then I have had very sporadic therapy, a whole bunch of medications and I have made some progress when it comes to the causes of this event. It had been a long time coming, I came out as trans five years before and everything since had been an absolute shit show. That had combined with working a bunch of shitty jobs, which drained away my hope...

I haven’t worked a real full time job in nearly 3 years. I lost four different jobs in the space of a year because I couldn’t make it through a full week. By Thursday of the working week I would be a ridiculous mess, stuck in bed, eating take out and trying to find answers on YouTube for why I couldn’t move. That with all the trans shit, it just spiraled.

Now I am feeling better, and am probably as ready as I am ever going to be when it comes to going back to work and living my life. But I am terrified. I am so scared of going back to work and all this shit happening again. The pressure from my friends and family, who desperately want me to succeed because they love the shit out of me, then the guilt because I met people in the hospital who had NOBODY. I mean, absolutely no family, no friends, not a single phone number they could call. They were completely alone and here I am scared of my friends and family loving me? What the fuck is that?

Sorry, I am rambling. Point is, I am at the place where I think I have to go back to work and go back to living life like everyone else. But I honestly don’t know if I can...

I have no idea why I am posting here. Reddit has been a major source of anxiety for me because I kept getting into stupid arguments with alt right idiots...(it was a problem I had...a stupid attempt to try and take the power back from the people in my life...via nazis...dumb I know). But I cannot say this to any of my friends because honestly, I can’t upset them with this stuff.

Thanks for reading, sorry if I broke any posting rules...I couldn’t find the sidebar on my phone.",3.5150950618859227,4.694657080260306,4.4927351027178775,87.00164444302669,72.55748373101953,7.766262600484879,26.357088171494194,8.219915518859313,1.5252890902130916,1778,59,375,27,34,578,216,461,0.196,0.7070000000000001,0.097,-0.9919,6,1,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,1,5,13,16,34,8,7,32,0,43,11,4,3,3,60,76,27,0,10,7,0,1,1,4,1,3,1,1,1,19,25,1,1,9,2,0,13,12,21,0,3,19,2,50,13,57,50,12,68,0,3,0,3,20,25,5,6,29,254,69,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116104506867667,0.0,0.0,0.06782709460412642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890698479755263,0.0,0.1001981675953096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152928993720316,0.25178588785728284,0.0,0.19960814215992498,0.0,0.05572651355568834,0.0,0.0,0.05791990443648987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687182876734236,0.0749022357290748,0.0,0.06727548186804383,0.0,0.16923952558935768,0.0686642145478484,0.0,0.0,0.05228782343914086,0.0,0.0,0.04223513733117408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842230954537493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701183450253485,0.054707850563255264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923876034676224,0.0,0.0625777683668144,0.058857499620681486,0.0,0.18521226071726687,0.0,0.033113323806910344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197119445820338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238727506144036,0.06054374039288295,0.034215421140616424,0.0,0.18609520084339348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214377318948664,0.0,0.05791191223447765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504558486944703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392937239177047,0.0,0.06835374434846297,0.19496387503368806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198233924999614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877094550250385,0.03199473113005826,0.0,0.11565638466357188,0.057955910152940285,0.0,0.0,0.14297846737079456,0.05567660376227652,0.11821317884459395,0.06196749548627984,0.043714571389201866,0.0,0.0,0.07133697328524803,0.0,0.0659735121733963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696046902521268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044377198982360234,0.0,0.0,0.0768375041822537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080397624330856,0.0,0.06842230954537493,0.0,0.0619084929342934,0.0,0.12544116414657885,0.0,0.1412169387582874,0.06266435122244551,0.0,0.13166953431142464,0.0,0.0,0.06550695506098629,0.07454108428095113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055927446936742384,0.0,0.052079666423784386,0.19669843999890216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831955242349938,0.0,0.2688950252268012,0.1083467401466707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661966875009808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496950333083062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847950557662473,0.0,0.0,0.060293686755258126,0.07489264508660044,0.0,0.0,0.041962856003377284,0.0,0.0,0.07637459652759178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892578041479686,0.07123347951946482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540354756015304,0.03862724624023794,0.0,0.10506302451608054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818769270679885,0.07311638960393914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337385898771208,0.0,0.0,0.04652167196383514,0.0,0.0,0.2108645936932096
mentalhealth,Representative_Poem,2018/03/28,"What do you do about someone with huge ego? What I want to do is explain to them why they aren't impressive but I know they wont hear or they'll get super pissed at me. Like confronting them with reality is an attack on them.

But they are 10/10 at everything, especially subjective things and they know everything that's wrong with YOU. That's where this person is starting to push me over the edge. ",2.5859810126582303,5.0201337215189925,3.1979588607594955,89.72326740506331,78.87341772151899,6.987974683544303,22.53322784810127,8.07648339933343,1.155593670886076,320,10,66,6,8,100,54,79,0.194,0.6829999999999999,0.124,-0.8152,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,8,1,3,7,3,0,2,0,10,1,1,0,0,11,17,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,14,3,11,15,0,8,0,0,0,0,13,6,1,1,2,47,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244406312793771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126141848755744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899809141746634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32142573059659424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134619071305921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932763984409027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24901371093460795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24163745944360698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185635848460468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946513141340432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682102915774389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25733631291539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118064922318192,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ambisinister_sloth,2018/03/28,"So today I started taking antidepressants... After a few years of more or less frequent depressive episodes and last 2 months of anxiety I was prescribed antidepressants to normalize my serotonin levels. I’m not sure if it’ll help, after the restless years where I was constantly haunted by helplessness and feeling completely worthless I think I forgot how to think positive.

I have Asperger’s and many other degenerations and I see no reason for anyone ever dating me or wanting to be friends with me. I just don’t believe I’m brighter tomorrows.

I guess it’s at least official now and I literally can now admit that I’m a depressed piece of garbage.

Love you guys.",5.633360655737704,7.944165614754097,6.384393442622951,71.01921311475411,69.08196721311475,9.47016393442623,35.97049180327869,9.888512548439397,4.190085901639344,543,29,85,14,10,178,89,122,0.179,0.669,0.152,-0.3563,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,2,2,23,21,10,0,3,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,2,14,3,12,16,5,18,0,4,1,1,6,3,0,4,15,61,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555395739668373,0.0,0.0,0.1421663734893023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290725016058636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317760461798702,0.21971715608429074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502391803050015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839149710576202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280491951419407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708486140438724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22398037839522664,0.2013191936719184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628139975824835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573328889585578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835046280388704,0.0,0.0,0.20613500564343407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622884290316339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921085434391825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090472670652335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202006031823346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439112482535026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916271009607017,0.0,0.1528716613233755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605590462116425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272399590106493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992365864383275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26186338417044963
mentalhealth,GeorgeAMiller,2018/03/28,I need help Around 6 months ago I met a girl called Sophie. I fell in love with her instantly and I cared about her more than anyone. Around 1 month after meeting her I found out that her ex boyfriend raped her and she had depression. I'm an empathist so this made me fall into a state of depression for a week or two. i never stopped caring about her. 3 months ago she left me and now I cant stop caring about her yet seeing her face or even the mention of her name causes me to have a mental breakdown. I cant escape her and I'm afraid I have PTRD. Any advice would be appreciated.,0.944110970996217,3.119992049180329,2.384754098360656,94.6801071878941,83.42622950819674,5.06532156368222,17.581336696090798,6.297961479604792,-0.3422857503152583,458,10,102,4,13,148,81,122,0.15,0.718,0.132,-0.4973,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,9,8,1,1,6,0,7,3,1,2,1,20,18,7,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,9,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,4,1,24,4,15,12,1,21,0,2,1,2,21,6,0,2,12,67,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525261349267979,0.2767229165934917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614432108315723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913946283541966,0.0,0.0,0.2779005437030849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938199122219293,0.0,0.4774224367123445,0.1603440560578451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688745240116988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309380554009254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114103047268225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462163730436244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958867645210385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408743575602485,0.1476930271492566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729870035116658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737607888742293,0.0,0.0,0.11573632406719228,0.12038369981793448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438090610101185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609909716844471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247404377560891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520335064753518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108795265399228,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thereisnofuturehere,2018/03/28,"What's the point? We get up, we go to work, we come home and we sleep. And it repeats every day. It's a painful repetitive cycle. What is the point in doing this over and over?

Two weeks ago I was considering ending things. I was given tablets and am 'recovering' and back in work. Yet every day I'm slugging along. There's no joy in this and I'm wishing I was back to that point where it hurt so much that I didn't care what I do because I feel desperately unhappy. 

I'm supposed to be making a recovery but I don't feel recovered. I feel like I'm hiding how I'm really feeling because people expect to see me better after two weeks off work. I am able to laugh and smile when I'm with people yet the minute I'm alone all I do is sleep and cry.",0.3790698529411749,2.4067564437500018,2.7568382352941185,92.06080882352943,84.5625,5.764705882352942,19.411764705882355,7.048011613610866,0.2653970588235297,581,16,132,8,17,199,88,160,0.139,0.731,0.131,0.5323,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,0,0,4,9,7,0,0,5,0,13,3,2,2,1,25,32,12,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,11,15,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,5,5,15,5,15,26,2,27,0,1,1,0,4,11,0,0,15,82,26,3,0.13682620177038265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128817224883773,0.0,0.0,0.14171068041070964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104218067680549,0.0,0.16681596524867065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101165640255675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395034316932284,0.0,0.0,0.11786365740530337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029715778130012,0.1764831615852913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118740260025565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23056395251448064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767337551298819,0.09774866588392918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148604313180694,0.0,0.07776148362716563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724783650227598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464752789020101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684637082659932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133255215459957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058300172578497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455927256481967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971612056421944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880349604295122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765436848924064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903276786293344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27385003203387803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909012486491782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673186350099033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21950745166187705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573433794569761,0.0,0.0,0.2988333134431099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thefatlad,2018/03/28,"Wife never supports me and anniversary of father's death I'm going to try overdose Wife never supports me and anniversary of father's death I'm going to try overdose. No one listens . Wife always tells me to man up and never respects me or show any sympathy or love. She been talking to some other guy also while ignoring my messages all day after hurting for my father who passed away. She tells me she can talk to anyone she wants to. No one is ever here for me . No one listens and I feel alone, degraded, horrible inside and out. I do surgery from depression and on medication. But I always get told I'm lying about my feels. Well I've had enough of asking for help. If anyone else ever gets like this I hope you don't do what I'm going to do. But remember your feelings are never wrong. Your feelings are your own. But for me it's too late I've mentally and physically had enough. I'm only writing this just so it gives me time to think about what I'm doing.",2.106809716599191,4.292981343589744,3.9039136302294217,85.35327935222675,79.15384615384616,6.3616734143049944,23.083670715249664,7.475848149327749,1.1302820512820515,762,25,147,11,19,256,107,195,0.19,0.7190000000000001,0.091,-0.961,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,0,0,10,12,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,0,7,33,38,16,2,3,7,6,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,8,8,0,1,6,1,0,4,8,5,1,3,4,6,23,7,23,34,5,19,0,2,0,1,30,4,0,5,12,103,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541703912307753,0.0,0.09683896329928462,0.20152009872755866,0.0,0.0,0.08234818750111657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934371726399206,0.1240752865155869,0.0,0.0,0.11320670162079582,0.0,0.11377195806939247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809572121507552,0.0,0.10429823042648953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011586398396879,0.0,0.0,0.2502452944362525,0.0,0.0,0.21907321749148007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449154015294503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653341078077662,0.11616456124511836,0.20646182079017966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119902265832073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116686900907152,0.0,0.0,0.12027383319259258,0.0,0.0,0.12963381257767753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659949726394374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916049433181444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929221546748832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219896356408917,0.12203444082563562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735811537922565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24616962882284515,0.09209757233194273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717608772134154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748324561848429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466181235443009,0.2116832825139231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759225400716868,0.0,0.0,0.07061098383040201,0.0,0.0,0.1157106679757174,0.0,0.16442998401193892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142447839176562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887820086860717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323974642572395,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LennyIsBack,2018/03/28,"I know I should see a psychiatrist, but i don't quite know what's wrong with me. I want to call a psychiatrist, but I'm scared that if I don't specifically ask to be tested for a particular illness then he'll say I'm fine and my life will continue to go on like this. I also feel like I will unconsciously pretend like I'm ok and he won't notice. I just feel very different from other people, and it's really hard to explain. It's hard to focus, I only feel happy when I'm alone, and I still rarely feel happy anyways. I go out of my way to avoid people. I have very dark existential, violent and even sexually violent thoughts all the time. I think everyone is conspiring against me. I think everyone is lying to me. I can't look people in the eye, and I even have trouble with simply talking. Every time I make a new friend I become emotionally unavailable within minutes. 
I feel like I'm a mixture of stupid, autistic and depressed, and maybe I'm all three. I've been to several therapists before, but never a psychiatrist. They want me to state what my problem is before coming in, but I honestly have no idea. I just know that I make other people feel uncomfortable, and I have no idea why I enjoy being alone so much. I obviously have some kind of personality disorder and it's driving me crazy. I'm 20 years old and I'm just sick of this. I feel like I'm walking through sand on every front, and everyone else is blaming my character. If it's an illness then maybe I can work through it, but if there's nothing I can do about it then why don't I just end it?


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mentalhealth,SexualConquistador,2018/03/28,"I think I have a personality disorder (US Army) I don't know how to start this off so I'm just going for it; I meet a girl on tinder, I tell her I'm interested in a relationship, we meet after a week, we have sex, I keep telling her for about 3 days after that I'm still into her, then I pull the plug and cut off communication entirely. I don't feel bad about it even though I know it is super fucked up. Something in my head just tells me to do it every time. The worst part is that I am genuinely interested in the girl in question. No I am not depressed and no I don't have any thoughts of harming myself or others. Also I'm 19 btw",2.262173913043484,3.018137246376813,4.755768115942028,85.54539130434785,75.08695652173913,7.838840579710146,23.94492753623189,8.238735603445708,1.1212005797101456,492,14,116,8,10,175,84,138,0.138,0.7390000000000001,0.123,-0.476,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,0,1,10,9,2,0,7,0,11,3,1,1,0,17,24,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,1,1,21,3,18,23,2,19,0,1,0,2,16,9,1,2,8,82,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308954995821186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018155642020912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983923647450138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345897154566304,0.0,0.16488166140402194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939973311949654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644022709398844,0.0,0.1612912427296025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679468707781816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697747408331113,0.0,0.0,0.10879624671541367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964663193381064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015516758554128,0.0,0.0,0.210414032836495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20730416285349207,0.0,0.0,0.16715262032621805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444968065667855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552827153398695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737510076490862,0.0,0.0,0.13549783714146796,0.0,0.15287928921373925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019647673258326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266305670259547,0.18808274791580373,0.15197706303107503,0.11162659500282644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302713047084373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535566565407864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,An_Oneiromancer,2018/03/28,"The Bully In My Head Hello everyone. I have been really distressed lately about a ""voice"" in my head that has been bullying and demeaning me fairly frequently. I have been diagnosed with Aspergers, GAD, clinical depression, and have been treated for bipolar disorder. My family has a history of schizophrenia and mental illnesses, but the ""voice"" that bullies me doesn't quite fit the description of a schizophrenic hallucination.

Rather than a hallucination that I hear, the voice manifests by speaking through my mouth, using my own vocal chords, almost like a tic. I couldn't find anyone online who has a similar condition and I don't understand what's going on. Sometimes when I feel the voice about to demean me, I'll shush it and sometimes it will respond with an insult. To outside observers it looks like I'm talking to myself. What could possibly be going on? I'm 21 years old and I hear that a lot of young men with schizophrenia start to slip up in their early twenties.

I don't fit the requirements in the DSM for schizophrenia, but something is definitely wrong. I live in the U.S. (Texas specifically) if that is of any help.",5.549454597372929,7.874341169902916,5.976659051970304,73.79578241005144,69.33980582524272,9.701427755568249,31.53512278697887,10.056822442137396,3.6526239862935466,915,40,149,25,17,294,122,206,0.132,0.807,0.061,-0.9145,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,4,7,1,1,16,0,19,8,3,1,0,22,30,10,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,1,5,7,0,1,11,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,9,19,3,26,22,2,20,0,1,1,0,11,10,0,3,10,104,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230961407251246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022668558649992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333702201189365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941559024131802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396077873880721,0.16451782950004915,0.0,0.0,0.18576906026736145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488383903762726,0.0,0.0,0.15280392555481884,0.0,0.08195752019226912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814722575947425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423884318884248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33270198644908106,0.0,0.3653741796477501,0.0,0.10864543861614734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284445952113426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837786855397154,0.0,0.14312834520482967,0.0,0.13611468679560867,0.0,0.0,0.13780303069821934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633484882642897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008607632153988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827319999818456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724025533186744,0.0,0.0,0.1038389360492122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478471868055295,0.32062209774704403,0.0,0.11472806058665933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028171619320142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687412950924022,0.0,0.1399936249270376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721985277374466,0.0,0.1043805768108324
mentalhealth,Mellow-Yellow-yogurt,2018/03/28,"Advice needed.. holiday booked but husband depressed..  Hi all, 

I'm in need of some serious and balanced advice please. This may be long..

Husband and I are due to go on holiday on Sunday with friends and their kids. We're supposed to be heading to theirs tomorrow or Friday then go from there..

Husband is currently signed off work with depression and stress, he's been off 1 week so far (signed off for 2) but yesterday and today he's home downhill. Anxious, worried about going out and being around people. He didn't leave the house today or get dressed. 

This is where my dilemma comes in. I really want to go away, I've been looking forward to it for ages and I need a break. 
I'm going through therapy currently myself for long term mental health issues, and work has been stressful. 

I don't feel like I want to leave him, but he is saying he now doesn't want to come. He says he'll stay with his parents, but I'm going to feel guilty if I go. If he forces himself to come, he'll be miserable and the kids will get on his nerves.  

I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to go and needing a break. Everything is paid for with no refund option. 

Help? ",2.5790165631470003,4.633684152173913,3.6622981366459655,88.313115942029,77.04347826086956,6.467908902691512,25.30020703933747,7.447530270364453,1.267585921325051,905,33,180,12,21,292,131,230,0.175,0.7290000000000001,0.096,-0.971,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,6,10,0,3,4,0,19,2,1,0,1,44,51,20,0,10,8,4,3,2,1,4,1,2,1,2,3,19,0,0,3,3,2,12,4,7,0,0,5,6,15,3,34,37,3,43,0,3,1,0,26,14,0,7,18,101,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990324635018505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555282587758844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910552491141762,0.0,0.0,0.0961000331551606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643281604078301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619567373353806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192707523116347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551549604571774,0.14614470993700346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902506214291243,0.0,0.10687928007577732,0.0,0.4650469391554769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049738194258688,0.10872406857510376,0.0,0.0,0.06855941424612595,0.0,0.10260009726845863,0.0,0.0,0.11802304474993497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675886402834783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660988649539786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994247375606263,0.0,0.0,0.18103784044702526,0.08589355720650453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307912431516868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30337183739393275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135752799117005,0.0,0.0,0.0709114727027437,0.0,0.0,0.112278107649531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06552632786202259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626821201786449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902209690170583,0.0,0.0,0.2343340210515865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697170052255487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193908255911498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413211430307725,0.0,0.08204677926302538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489292548316924,0.10387528377907244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FeyCGirl,2018/03/28,"I need help luring/inducing a hallucinatory creature so I can finally kill it [UK] title provides a rough description, this thing shows up rather infrequently but every time its more vivid and the last 2 times actually elicited physical reactions (It grabbed me and I invoulantarily moved as if I had really been grabbed) I feel this is something I have to face directly but it doesn't exactly show up at my convenience so I'm wondering if I can make it happen and finally deal with it.",4.7620000000000005,7.244564922222223,6.497499999999999,68.51625000000001,72.0,11.166666666666668,33.47222222222222,10.9516,4.678888888888888,393,20,67,15,8,135,68,90,0.037000000000000005,0.939,0.023,-0.2805,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,7,1,1,2,1,15,13,10,1,4,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,5,9,0,6,11,1,9,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,3,5,45,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.2366379116032699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499993432028201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043105725303289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261160370570726,0.0,0.0,0.5312778366112406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443550862301688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253775654491262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682822628557694,0.0,0.0,0.1976639292649464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186577145176587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577313816944967,0.0,0.17980527689420914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534704376388944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18668274051599892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611013859945774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28279890648338146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629730073244088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shakeandbake779,2018/03/28,"Deja vu like moments I’ve been having some weird deja vu like moments about once every couple days or more. I am constantly thinking “I’ve seen this before” or “this has happened to me before”. I honestly say one of those in my head after a LOT of things I do/ see/ hear etc. I don’t know why this is happening. 

Background:  recent college graduate living at home unemployed, which probably has something to do with it. ",4.7242916666666686,6.308033512500002,5.6875,78.03416666666669,70.125,8.333333333333334,29.583333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.583333333333333,331,13,57,6,6,109,62,80,0.022,0.875,0.103,0.743,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,9,1,1,0,0,7,16,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,4,6,3,9,14,4,8,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,4,8,39,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34643882953839783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199822003474299,0.0,0.0,0.22524157177655274,0.0,0.13128303395280214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270295622437465,0.0,0.0,0.17151287938380608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36002494702622423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20891713375975188,0.0,0.22943333514935635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041929917576753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187438333229004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890383404331405,0.0,0.17975223988959102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306427595547413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21679082356956955,0.1379413845644408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21947825125255316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009965673741238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618836127310926,0.0,0.0,0.16221550471714208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671481882028354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524000369853725,0.1304366789730238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368637886466047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toeknife123456,2018/03/28,"Angry and Tired all of the time, and horrifying thoughts and dreams. Recently, I've been getting very angry at the littlest things. My mom asked me a question the other day and I just yelled at her. When she asked me why I was so angry I just told her I don't even know. And it was true; most of the time I have no idea why. I'm also tired and unable to focus often.

When I'm in school, if somebody does something that annoys me, or just outright makes fun of me, I think about beating them up in the most brutal way possible, in a way that always draws a lot of blood. It can be anywhere from bashing their head into the desk to kicking them down entire flights of stairs until there aren't any stairs left. I could care less if this killed them. The worst part of this is that they aren't just thoughts and that I really, *really* want to do it.

Sometimes when I'm in public I have continuous intrusive thoughts about the building I'm in exploding or the person next to me leaping over and sinking a knife into my neck.

Then just last night I had a unique nightmare that I will never forget. There's a lot to the dream but I'll spare you the details and just tell you the horrifying part: My dad was driving with me in the car, and he starts crying because of something I said. He then crashes into a tunnel, everything goes black. Then I see the aftermath of the accident only I'm not part of the dream anymore, just a spectator. And there's blood EVERYWHERE. My dad is on the floor SCREAMING. Not just ""AHH!"" Yelling; Absolute demonic screaming that pierces your fucking soul and leaves no room for other sounds. Imagine the sound of a [deer yelling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzwbOZKfrUQ), amplified greatly. I actually heard this in my head and it was really loud and felt so real. Then my dad starts wiggling around and jerking and jolting. The wreckage blocked the tunnel, so more cars keep coming in and crashing and crashing, and he screams louder.

I didn't used to be like this at all; I remember being happy, empathetic and friendly. For the past year though life has been pretty stressful but I'm not sure if this is just stress anymore. I have a therapist appointment in 2 months but I feel like it will be a lot worse by then. How do I make this stop?",3.7219084390512975,5.676209349206352,4.1227774713489005,86.73321566464426,73.421768707483,7.035141263712692,26.88490531347675,7.824948511530503,1.5606323588895017,1797,66,350,25,37,563,227,441,0.16,0.758,0.08199999999999999,-0.9887,0,0,2,0,2,0,61.0,0,3,5,1,26,20,5,2,32,0,28,9,5,4,5,79,58,43,1,5,20,4,2,2,1,2,3,10,1,1,20,26,0,3,11,3,0,4,10,11,0,0,15,14,42,9,44,36,13,56,2,0,2,1,28,25,1,12,27,241,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.09187805404885924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529273333565978,0.07834139554126139,0.0,0.0,0.06402608940612528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674551317405733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381458789116451,0.17603744828621373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739373782083253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599349045245388,0.0,0.0,0.08110297886225032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751721246742443,0.0,0.10342074460387997,0.06071977757475794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239240727568957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218602317458361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461708689499918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760570897522497,0.06726168318140756,0.09039998016776576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274103449298762,0.08704132820437895,0.04919015048996756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380210305355833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022577330132773,0.0,0.0,0.1932527229376592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628531908564216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368597113388695,0.1041644260634695,0.0,0.05174307347811615,0.07674584792212845,0.0,0.0996925962335167,0.10229562589865014,0.0,0.0665018234989179,0.09199510552306836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24013211819733296,0.0,0.0,0.1256934021885624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102688247227334,0.07515064219723183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261526051445312,0.0,0.10013093942256153,0.08835458507879702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160628034626869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30586993803353824,0.08987803675289004,0.0,0.08220925381264818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614140583059176,0.0,0.09578568542581492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547096535333818,0.0,0.0,0.10716475294564454,0.18094713547673028,0.0,0.09296301659690698,0.0,0.10665503058837827,0.0,0.08955941430734304,0.0,0.0,0.09528610760134874,0.07502636912811635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496448863083278,0.09311800943076654,0.0,0.13328150121593535,0.0,0.0,0.07871467411887506,0.21569991400155744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873645388965735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229235629402737,0.0,0.0,0.10931687643455733,0.06254991750675754,0.060328329536316776,0.09250314072860144,0.22423676501222264,0.10980072059797273,0.21642605991526206,0.0,0.08996556934486633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131646432235512,0.0,0.07768465469743928,0.055532856011372936,0.1494657850039638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699137463898753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095948183534233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606303283782289
mentalhealth,LegendaryDaru,2018/03/28,"I can't afford therapy or counseling. What's the next best thing? I've already read the FAQ, and most of its suggestions don't really apply to my case. Let me give you guys some context:


Talking with my girlfriend who is already diagnosed for depression and currently medicated, she told me that the feelings I've described to her are very akin to those of early signs depression. She convinced me that instead of waiting for it to explode, to deal with it while it's only early signs, and I've chose to listen to her. That said...


I live in México, and the government *does* provides free counseling, the problem is the waitlist is eternal, two months average between sessions, and they're only half an hour long. They also prioritize patients in critical state. I am not in critical state yet or need any medication, I'd rather not get in the way of those who need truly it.


I've tried online counseling which is cheaper, but text based communication just doesn't cut it, and in my experience most counselors I've found online tend to be distant, or not as responsive as their webpages suggest.


What's the next best thing? Are there any good books out there? A cool YouTube channel or something among those lines? I don't mean to replace the work of a professional with a book, but something to help me hold on while I gather enough resources to pay for therapy.",6.1721070772058795,7.292686941406252,6.369659926470586,76.21670036764708,66.3046875,9.617279411764708,34.59007352941177,9.773937934552695,3.449241544117648,1091,50,193,23,17,349,149,256,0.054000000000000006,0.838,0.107,0.9499,2,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,3,7,10,1,0,13,1,13,3,0,0,0,34,25,17,0,4,11,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,19,10,0,2,3,4,2,0,7,4,0,2,3,4,19,7,33,20,6,23,0,2,0,0,21,8,0,7,12,129,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841886119547244,0.1029725460609622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751279080567794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702598049539349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275005807278045,0.22180853596039848,0.13069277718495714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268226796132633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304766093084774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259559265182936,0.0,0.0,0.06510696109759127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118310967329845,0.0,0.0,0.06727388969255117,0.1235221880318578,0.0,0.10800115687923108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749663121701424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630781322833972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268066292912122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166994188047731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370099511737627,0.11395211213787995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026177413012506,0.0,0.25943242155886465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277821806078986,0.0,0.0,0.19095378926763015,0.0,0.0,0.2738840075270268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958616900873788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232097841049147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879887261233647,0.0,0.08248953303993503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248407656875332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19825767801781252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349564759913643,0.0,0.0,0.2945057740855019,0.0,0.17109019625731814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303954608694452,0.0,0.08742232220177917,0.0,0.12578374446646345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624380773108924,0.0,0.1022068913492956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937417454013315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zozelttil,2018/03/28,"Hospitalization too far but therapy not enough? I'm not actively suicidal but not able to properly function either. I hate myself and feel like a failure. I go to therapy once a week but it's just not enough, and it's never really been that effective. I was voluntarily hospitalized a few years ago for 11 days and it didn't help much in the long term but it did keep me safe and kinda stabilize me. I don't want to get to that point again but I feel like that's what's happening. I'm not in immediate crisis and thus don't need emergency treatment of that sort but what else is there?",3.0433613445378183,4.836989848739499,5.015705882352943,80.29767647058827,74.88235294117645,9.465882352941176,25.345378151260505,9.888512548439397,2.4695539495798333,468,16,97,14,10,161,74,119,0.121,0.674,0.205,0.9216,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,4,0,7,0,0,2,1,29,18,11,1,2,13,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,4,2,8,3,8,14,6,13,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,10,63,18,0,0.190619695222302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897285848029758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293393384445482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923829557318464,0.0,0.0,0.3939222020421498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276609077077986,0.2723574967088571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959092321587044,0.0,0.10833356562743444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856436695387067,0.0,0.0,0.18819748491462795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776836361678354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943154355952408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18625430902579532,0.0,0.0,0.16869243181974686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012740897163167,0.14134208867394896,0.14701766028689572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030037542579012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801972257155854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211585785566365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850700774472486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43598046831573706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243243502811813,0.0,0.15290362150456324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275283401096147
mentalhealth,itsyaboi117,2018/03/28,"Mind Mental Health Charity, in memory of my big brother Gareth, who committed suicide 5 years ago on the 31st March due to Mental Health. Hello everyone,

My name is James and I am from Manchester, England.


First of all I'd like to say thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm trying to help my Mum raise money for the charity Mind, it is an organisation that tries to help better the lives of those living with Mental Health Disorders, they are also actively trying to increase awareness about Mental Health.


My brother Gareth died on the 31st of March 2013, 5 years ago this March, my Mum and family have been broken by it since it happened as you would expect. Like I mentioned I'm trying to help my Mum raise money, she is quite upset that there hasn't been much money donated and feels quite down about it, feeling like she hasn't done enough to remember her son and has let him & the charity down, this is not the case as any money raised  is amazing. 


My brother dealt with mental health issues since he was around 17 years old, until it finally got the better of him in 2013. There was no help, no support or awareness and he was completely shunned by the NHS. He suffered from Bipolar, Schizophrenia (severe paranoia that comes with it) and Anxiety. He was the best big brother I could have asked for, loved me unconditionally and I really want to help my Mum raise awareness and make her happy by helping her raise some money. My brother shouldn't have  had to deal with this with no professional help and charities like Mind are doing the best they can to help.  


Below is the just giving link, she's not very tech savvy and made the post without writing any description, her Facebook profile link will allow you to look for yourself and read what she has written. She is also auctioning off a near complete set of Compare the Market meerkats which she has been collecting for years for this fundraiser.


We are really struggling to get exposure to the cause and hence why I have came to Reddit to try and help with this.


Thank you all so much for reading and hopefully we can get a few people behind this to get it out to the wider Reddit community.


#Just Giving:#
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Julie-Slater7


#Mums Facebook Post:#
https://www.facebook.com/julie.slater2


#Meerkat Auction:#
https://www.facebook.com/julie.slater2/posts/10155074598072084


#My Brothers Grave#
https://imgur.com/a/vab5z",10.383279678068412,9.793503699530524,8.414855801475522,70.86330985915494,57.7793427230047,11.025083836351442,35.543930248155604,10.07000556051586,3.424494433266265,1960,65,323,31,21,581,210,426,0.063,0.743,0.195,0.9955,0,0,0,0,0,1,77.0,2,4,2,7,10,19,0,2,19,0,37,7,0,4,3,56,62,21,3,6,6,12,2,4,0,3,6,1,0,0,20,26,0,0,5,3,8,3,9,4,0,1,13,4,37,15,60,44,10,35,0,2,1,1,56,13,0,3,19,210,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193375022759868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766007139498443,0.0,0.07293340945153996,0.0,0.0915500480753625,0.0,0.05149412101238977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992267856764279,0.06292839763896775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128129782917848,0.11906543361650365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698793068371591,0.0,0.06914880556442532,0.0,0.0579840318436174,0.14115241657625344,0.0,0.0,0.053743807342353615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939655896894467,0.0,0.0,0.06986007706283161,0.0,0.0771463203665212,0.0,0.0,0.06888438263721566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955213414976961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432028158400935,0.0,0.0,0.06345653348920577,0.0,0.06807076592946829,0.04808829014862929,0.0,0.07373790115795276,0.0,0.057256248032153366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550450645889403,0.1291451759821645,0.0,0.0,0.053836209159830915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952450205887168,0.07165574572206433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577518856503783,0.0,0.0,0.4060652630530426,0.0,0.0,0.06685681582755346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025709287111699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883191630045422,0.0,0.13154256977826947,0.0,0.11887690185664156,0.0,0.056525813388999736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075244570608044,0.06369301531128167,0.04493182825881712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391774386134921,0.0,0.2039002703211712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896533169574144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063347855074156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466662320608943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340121605581204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319093385289067,0.2019930993960519,0.0,0.08624462884661188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625230018273738,0.0,0.0,0.05352985407762655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604432374857463,0.0,0.11136371616983104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036997185042933,0.0,0.07362929684413383,0.07638578741047326,0.0,0.0,0.050610861446935405,0.0,0.0,0.12394519686620385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03925064509910614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285049221805881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554012386385186,0.03970284367482387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073934779924985,0.0,0.0,0.06488715384039265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478170941305032,0.0,0.0,0.1733889896864713
mentalhealth,Jayzeedex,2018/03/28,"(NATURAL SECRET RECIPE) Im quite marveled at this miracle, You won't believe what a Lady did to enlarge her breasts without no enlarging pills. Read here >>>> Brest enlargement has been a problem for ladies who needs it. Some take pills which has side effects which are negative, learn how to do it the natural way in just a month for free here.

http://www.voxsalus.com/2018/03/27/10-top-home-remedies-for-breast-enlargement-in-one-month/",12.145454545454541,15.633245666666667,6.9004242424242435,69.1006363636364,54.45454545454545,9.522424242424243,35.92727272727272,9.888512548439397,3.805221818181818,378,15,51,7,5,97,56,66,0.087,0.747,0.166,0.6992,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,0,7,3,1,2,0,9,9,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,7,6,1,5,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,34,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32293552831561345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28751474915663605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096111891470583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575730321312397,0.0,0.0,0.21253361364092668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422891177592774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27426761995316873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30486786561488044,0.2867090507516586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155112043910474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22751473056160684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27630252230170155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,geniamaluca,2018/03/28,"Mentally ill people ONLY, your opinion on meds *(Please only reply if YOU are mentally ill yourself)*
  
I've been trying and failing to type this out. The last year and a half I've gone from living with my abusive parents to living with other abusive people to finally living alone (I'm 19). I haven't been able to enjoy that though cause I have BPD, depression and PTSD.  
Most of the days I spend lying on the sofa contemplating suicide, I barely eat and I can't go out unless I absolutely have to (what still causes panic attacks and episodes). The latter allowed me to continue high school via a government study-at-home program thing where you can study alone and subscribe to exams throughout the year - every exam is actually 2 years of a subject in a normal school.  
Like I said, I'm absolutely useless so this hasn't been going well. I've been only following this study program thing since january, but if I don't pass in 4 subjects in july I'll be forced to find a full-time job.  
I don't trust myself lately, especially since my abusers have been trying to contact me (kind of ruining every progress I've made). I've been very unproductive and I don't know what else to do. I've even lost interest in my hobbies. I can't end up begging my abusers for help, so I've been considering taking meds (my psychologist suggested it) to improve my motivation. But still I worry it will make my situation worse somehow.  
  
If you've been in a similar situation, what is your advice? Did medication improve your life, and how? What are some prons and cons for you?
",4.496939130434782,6.155823986666667,5.7809565217391325,76.84786956521744,70.8,8.417391304347825,29.710144927536234,8.964715089967882,2.5957362318840578,1236,50,222,24,23,414,166,300,0.193,0.725,0.08199999999999999,-0.9838,3,2,0,0,2,1,40.0,0,6,0,4,10,13,1,1,11,0,27,5,0,7,0,33,39,19,1,4,6,1,0,1,0,1,4,1,1,0,13,13,1,0,3,0,1,5,7,7,1,1,13,1,28,6,30,24,2,28,0,5,0,0,11,12,0,7,12,136,41,11,0.0930621914222196,0.4410539167726966,0.09081527444558334,0.0,0.0,0.09093929639646484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276872844992024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105871677636938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720857229983403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120101150211288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001741462432383,0.0,0.08015432910659283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522585482648883,0.07774151945368289,0.0,0.08242547927825188,0.0,0.0,0.06146669974394538,0.0,0.1568178200252481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194508185906187,0.08505715699615876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577877600858064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237762524351013,0.09832531470643524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234986525484744,0.0,0.0,0.09690995157039133,0.05114454661908946,0.07585810685433897,0.1049782054280036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573257797748228,0.04546548597603641,0.0,0.24652686001261254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015883752343038,0.0,0.0,0.08805769567335713,0.062119735414091014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674223060159014,0.0937503672187901,0.1875696009851517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118118861963274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21233397035865428,0.0,0.10918843026469068,0.10333455040653504,0.0,0.0,0.1290352118189834,0.0,0.0,0.10215434013000894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087847216831691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852345506993294,0.0,0.0,0.18836781214513132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396401284522213,0.20921160462309246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863917256623582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179493281103297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699711862168863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365276961360094,0.0,0.0914331305697768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263662384260104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678605418445862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367408640846483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450917273553544,0.0948383235846815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978700033633532
mentalhealth,violetdonut,2018/03/28,"Genuinely scared for the people who are suicidal. Today, I got told that people who commit suicide are cowards, unmaly and people would laugh at them when they're dead and gone. 


And my exact thought at that moment was how much pain the people who're suicidal feel, how worthless they feel when they hear the things I was told today. 

I can't fathom what emotions the people who are depressed and suicidal feel, and genuinely want to get helped  but can't because there's no one to support them and they don't have the financial aid to help themselves.


I myself have been suffering from depression since forever. I've never been diagnosed of it though. Because parents here don't believe in taking their kids to a therapist or psychiatrist to see if they suffer from any kind of mental disease. Also, I don't have the money to go to one but I would sell my kidney to afford to go to one. 

Last year when I couldn't take it anymore and I  threatened to commit suicide, I was told that a woman shouldn't get so angry and I was asked to sleep on it. When I asked my bitch of a cousin why no one tried to help me when I said I'd kill myself her response was- ""suicide is not something you should talk about to anyone and it's something we shouldn't be thinking of.""


I am not suicidal but the feeling of being trapped inside your own head is not a nice emotion. I just want some mental peace and help that anyone suffering from mental disease  deserves.



And please help the people aroumd you who're suicidal or suffering from mental diseases, hear them out and help them. ",5.17487155388471,6.33235675657895,5.3879511278195515,82.21732456140352,68.60526315789474,7.8957393483709275,28.62092731829573,8.11559375814309,1.9243993107769424,1250,43,230,16,21,395,151,304,0.263,0.618,0.12,-0.9964,2,1,2,0,0,7,23.0,1,3,9,0,14,15,2,1,12,0,29,5,3,2,4,45,55,28,10,9,10,2,4,0,0,5,2,3,0,2,13,14,0,0,6,0,2,3,14,11,0,4,14,8,34,4,30,33,3,19,0,7,1,0,36,5,1,4,11,162,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055795424890509884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744631658631269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919356485234668,0.09757027889777717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045195450645924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506286983876082,0.0,0.0,0.07860743479954299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018641843550752,0.07081556504233999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696479054108614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111219724991067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290438865541851,0.0,0.0793043393704696,0.0,0.05580182375221916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160463772436768,0.0,0.15727279567366972,0.0,0.2805940784019293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719069494764616,0.07265521475773798,0.0,0.056872250530577574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812489206890311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512893281589574,0.0,0.053811292729627584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911312234051586,0.0,0.07424070623469095,0.0,0.07747185743073821,0.0,0.0,0.2902203811094297,0.0,0.0,0.07658703157218842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636770047843059,0.0,0.06985241858566298,0.0,0.05559803659715023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057714859191253916,0.0,0.06982086395481826,0.0,0.0,0.1074254430521788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6105406171223199,0.07917470997259751,0.0,0.0,0.10491743064692198,0.05607886619306863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100890083479986,0.04635240440265652,0.04470610416555673,0.06854913896736567,0.05538996494368999,0.0,0.0,0.13226850744543986,0.20000604087789398,0.0,0.0473695737238115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230486952106897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629570029839212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912588945822398,0.0,0.0,0.04492989938395861
mentalhealth,weirhole1,2018/03/28,"Need Some Advice Guys, First Post Here So I have had previous issues with my mental health, including brief stays at the hospital for my anxiety and depression. Lately I have found myself forgetting what day or time it is like all the time. Turning up to work on the wrong days because I swear that my phone and computers have told me it is the right day, and then when I'm told it's not that day ill stop seeing things written like that and it'll go back to normal. There are varying other things but this is something that is sticking out at the moment. Should I be worried or is this nothing. In the UK btw. Hope This wasn't formatted wrong.",2.4429618413082963,4.875172944881894,3.0861417322834646,90.33655360387644,79.39370078740156,6.427377347062388,22.367655966081166,7.61054688173877,0.9850295578437316,512,16,102,8,13,160,89,127,0.116,0.816,0.068,-0.6579999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,6,0,14,2,0,0,1,19,24,10,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,15,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,6,1,9,3,10,15,2,24,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,4,15,70,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525725721062576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944226609151838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005759281748213,0.0,0.09517798339863233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40277467203965617,0.0,0.13447819195706615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328077046156974,0.0,0.17119313503003425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873468659533316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459744479574095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659633957449772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507652969131985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629635814059122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17612622322721458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255860584587758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734659055687125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577156044457307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297840456949027,0.1498150140552527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953344224158122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333778768925034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441877435526705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019976582957885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641832530895784,0.0,0.13053521570424126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745730234991105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820862616555076,0.0,0.0,0.2983859142363132,0.0,0.0,0.16982921783066476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366758612681513,0.15856189945687524,0.0,0.0,0.34141656172321555,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthind,2018/03/28,"We are a India based NGO working on creating awareness on mental health and we are doing an AMA! You can join in the conversation here :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/87qxlo/hello_rindia_we_are_umentalhealthind_an_ngo/",16.659444444444443,23.15257485185185,8.894351851851852,43.31708333333336,59.740740740740726,7.144444444444447,25.26851851851852,8.07648339933343,2.5043407407407408,199,5,19,3,4,50,24,27,0.0,0.757,0.243,0.7712,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,15,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.649852601636967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6161123106278935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450811351185575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway1018374,2018/03/28,"[HELP] I think I have a mental disorder of some kind I just came from the askreddit thread where a user was asking psychologists what tipped them off that they were dealing with a sociopath. And many of the answers hit very close to home.


 I am fully aware that I am a impulsive lier. I manipulate others daily including famly members and my friends. I have on multiple occasions manipulated women into doing what I want them to do for me sexually. I am charismatic and I always give the impression that I care about people when I really don't give a damn about them whatsoever. I do feel like I am more intelligent than everybody around me at a given time. 


What I would like to say is that I have never hurt any living thing out of enjoyment or anything of the sorts nor do I have an inclination to do so. I don't know if the fact of me admitting all this proves in itself that I not sociopathic but, either way I know something is wrong with me and I am desperate to fix myself. I have pushed away all of my close friends and family and I know that they hate my guts. I want to change, but I have no Idea how to do so or where to start.


 Maybe this post in general is me only thinking about myself. I didn't care when I was hurting the people around me, but now that the tables have turned I have gone and seeked help. 


Thank you for reading this post. This is the first time I've ever told anyone these things, and it feels scary that I'm exposing myself like this even though I am using a throwaway account. I think the fact that I want to do better and I am recognizing my wrongs is proof enough to myself that I am not to far gone. ",5.248465045592702,5.437440191489365,6.176259878419455,80.08110714285716,68.05775075987843,9.497933130699087,27.39224924012158,9.3871,2.0822485106382973,1289,36,264,24,20,428,170,329,0.08800000000000001,0.774,0.138,0.8656,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,5,2,18,18,2,0,17,0,35,1,1,4,8,58,64,22,0,5,10,0,2,3,2,1,0,1,1,1,24,18,0,0,12,1,1,4,8,6,0,1,9,3,53,12,36,53,6,31,0,2,0,0,18,15,1,5,12,204,77,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358516767195288,0.0,0.0,0.07648437037729086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864257845450923,0.0,0.0925543325095705,0.20024668202442308,0.10514552364420893,0.0,0.1056705295354683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947176342672112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863725424037595,0.22934406101247906,0.0,0.11897976824040515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595301653410417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890190369536364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621296330642993,0.0,0.07428626163010077,0.10173676928915992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602797294551083,0.0,0.11373778130470324,0.08034955025934487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566806731330946,0.0,0.0,0.17379016196034294,0.0,0.0,0.21578552234356466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110421666784136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077434148919674,0.0,0.11281792786942832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24080579877916455,0.12696645673688595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712159668418852,0.18543392700074854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648434518410047,0.0,0.0993142568688075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140282892195622,0.1129925817078845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334466069173585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674483373491121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553952487406151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594693622093594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543291421765293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250177982900994,0.0,0.07205202263057497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944172660936772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658593506832593,0.0,0.0,0.07960779580632722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354850208049364,0.0,0.0,0.14944192600331288,0.21620128653636675,0.11050252392694396,0.0,0.1311658897147223,0.0,0.0,0.1074711885545568,0.0,0.0,0.1223365247536276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713912926263718,0.0,0.09280063732804623,0.1990155372604845,0.08927451734918884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989641545207253,0.2459395161096297,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darthmorbus,2018/03/28,"Feeling completely out of it. As a precursor to this problem, i’d first like to share that the past two months have been extremely stressful, almost to the point of never ending stress, in all areas of my life (work, school, health relationships). 

I was trucking along as usual dealing with the immense amount of stress im always under until one day (Friday) i had an EXTREMELY bad day at work. I woke up the next day and felt fine but come Sunday my mind is a complete haze. 

I was barely able to function, it felt like i had just taken three shots of absinth and got high at the same time (but i dont do drugs or drink anymore). I feel generally unfocused, a bit confused, my cognitive function is poor, i cant concentrate, and i am constantly tired. It feels like one long dissociative episode. it came out of no where, for seemingly no reason. 

Every day has been a bit better since then, i’d say im at about 80% functionality on what is now day 3. Im just confused as to why on earth this has happened to me? Has anyone else had any similar experiences? 

",3.1372463768115963,5.117387966183578,4.45731884057971,83.58858695652177,75.13526570048309,7.498550724637681,25.99275362318841,8.344100000000001,1.7705536231884065,827,30,162,15,18,273,133,207,0.14,0.77,0.09,-0.9306,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,4,5,13,0,5,10,0,18,5,0,1,2,30,30,11,0,1,5,0,5,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,8,9,1,0,7,1,1,2,5,7,0,5,13,6,13,6,30,17,5,35,0,0,0,0,4,14,0,5,22,100,21,3,0.10284576378517392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298517639105248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557591427162521,0.0,0.0,0.06993864610543249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199536219377688,0.07191214932170893,0.1053776387479823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587191689019702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095872039564236,0.22456187446824735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176281553461468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859251891465113,0.2156636532124308,0.11113973402482323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33163504711840963,0.10602946652018087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053446920094316,0.1007496947182724,0.11926843462179765,0.0,0.08591443876234564,0.0,0.09109082047370354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665199169042906,0.0,0.0,0.10060289153672422,0.0,0.0,0.1560057250176806,0.07347303419768351,0.1974961232065073,0.0,0.0,0.08748055413688614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225515243832489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094616926187846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932023761890916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866219606329296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332732199289819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264300447204565,0.15073573573574206,0.0,0.0,0.09101526458243137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384490339138794,0.0,0.08209050744750547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793209932713501,0.0,0.10937763654528404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938190242024207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817791877368767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722248946561378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840950631862233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574257410892904,0.0,0.110417861352634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178707928866899,0.0,0.10408540362387557,0.0,0.09362692073326992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507507858189405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534284248090573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997019192685864,0.1182060762480252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046536714415567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327007886930472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280230518086913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974588184548307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bbweinstein,2018/03/28,"Looking for advice for brother who refuses help I am looking for some help and direction with my 35 year old brother. I very highly believe he has undiagnosed mental health issues but lives his life in complete isolation and does not believe in doctors or the medical system. We are in Canada and he has gone as far as unsubscribe himself from Canadian Medicare so that he is not part of ""the system"". He has not worked  or held a job for over 5 years now and has the opportunity to live in one of our fathers rental units free of charge. He does not collect any kind of welfare assistance as he has willingly removed himself because he doesn't want any record of being on any government records anywhere. When he needs money to eat, he will approach our father to do odds and end jobs at his company for a few days and then disappear for weeks on end. He spends all of his time in complete isolation and on his computer. Ive had very little contact with him in the past few years aside from seeing him briefly a few times or the many long drawn out emails he has sent me about him having discovered god/christ and asking me to become a follower or other messages that sound like conspiracy theories (trying to convince me  not to get a birth certificate for my son, living off grid is only way to live, you dont need to file income taxes, banks are evil, credit/mortgages are ungodly etc.) 
He has had issues with drugs in the past (meth, speed, alcohol) and has completed a few in patient programs. I dont have any reason to believe he is currently using. The issue is our father who lives in the same apartment complex is at his wits end. He feels like he is enabling and is in constant fear of finding out he is hurt or worse. It is not unusual for my brother to go weeks/months with no contact and with nobody seeing him ( a neighbour has told me he goes to a corner store late at night for food) but my father has told me he has not worked in over a month and he knows he has no money, I dont know how he actually eats. I live about 2 hours drive away and feel very lost as his younger sister because I don't know how to help.
We have tried various family interventions, talks, emails because he responds more online.  These seem to help somewhat for a brief period and then he goes back to his pattern of complete isolation. 
What are the best ways to entice him to seek help? I feel like he is a danger to himself, how do I proceed? Can I call 911 and explain the situation and force them to enter his apartment? 
Thank you for your insight :)   ",6.821378848728247,6.350608955823297,7.0286345381526125,77.52232262382867,64.86345381526104,9.94805890227577,34.107095046854084,9.348350401419415,2.9622846050870137,2012,78,384,32,27,651,250,498,0.097,0.815,0.08900000000000001,-0.7516,7,3,3,0,0,0,43.0,5,3,1,6,9,14,2,1,21,0,44,9,0,5,1,64,71,34,0,3,14,9,3,3,1,2,6,1,0,0,8,25,4,2,12,0,7,10,14,5,0,1,8,8,44,10,73,60,13,72,0,2,4,0,80,29,0,8,32,244,52,10,0.0,0.0,0.0677139494335686,0.0,0.0,0.0678064230418015,0.0,0.07415606143231909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874841986400728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486963070271473,0.0,0.06519353358609363,0.053356090256465316,0.0,0.1268972237440939,0.07663503265463177,0.0,0.23453394555379825,0.07281979169372503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085423574945622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910134527381399,0.07498518469197962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04475035949420765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102289109239936,0.12144609194724895,0.0,0.2439712362303404,0.0,0.08046956092266046,0.14200515844618042,0.0,0.0,0.1843749777763286,0.0,0.07738741420214869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541405863749801,0.07808225636495382,0.1052559483437685,0.0991434627324716,0.0,0.0,0.06342056513028692,0.0,0.08390581967015072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036253046468920615,0.0,0.039435539525246435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375758346330125,0.0,0.0,0.2325509330512493,0.07331360752601983,0.0,0.0,0.06833448527015253,0.0,0.07428268316364503,0.0,0.0,0.2172732108138158,0.1377163510046021,0.0,0.0,0.07225828034224699,0.11440363742917402,0.0,0.07827415528252388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04901171623912665,0.1017003242179932,0.0695463100420787,0.36763215075484135,0.06140734890528601,0.11653907543466027,0.0,0.07574662022054363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034986136323977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990242185564828,0.06992809609353606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077175802912524,0.0,0.0,0.10290257672587604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511715956748519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281240013645908,0.0,0.047019986989382916,0.05277369113536833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514185235949689,0.13247988105270891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134375944783533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058858000244293,0.06316941465558584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799648298619882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055772492699466485,0.0,0.06388434673177709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092292026980336,0.0,0.0,0.13260890375716713,0.0,0.09422156273960684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05993007808276395,0.0,0.17176032408618322,0.04092760826057616,0.11015599658243634,0.055659912737788864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103247686861436,0.0,0.07071362704988067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405330682430874
mentalhealth,omicron_flyer,2018/03/28,"Paranoid Roomate. Help Today our wifi router broke and my roommate accused me of destroying it. Ok it didn't break so much as it is not transmitting a signal. I don't know a lot about routers. Xfinity is coming to fix it tomorrow. My roommate says that because I asked her to take out the recycling tonight (her job- it was getting super gross) and the router also crashed today, thay I must have ""done it"" somehow. Now, I feel like this is flat out ridiculous, and when I told her as much, she said that the last time our wifi crashed, I was also behind it (our wifi crashes every couple months, we have comcast, it sucks, but I am not in control of that). Apparently she thinks I control these things and ""break the internet"" to attack her. Can anybody like.... explain this to me or help me understand the thinking behind this? She has depression and ptsd and is, according to her, prone to paranoia. How do I like.... get her to stop making ridiculous accusations about me? It's rude and hurtful and annoying.",4.066394736842106,6.124490521052637,4.4433552631578985,84.35661184210528,72.73684210526315,7.276315789473685,30.296052631578952,8.07648339933343,2.209078947368421,789,35,146,12,16,248,112,190,0.208,0.7390000000000001,0.053,-0.9859,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,4,0,0,3,9,16,7,0,7,1,16,0,0,4,1,30,31,17,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,17,12,0,3,6,0,0,1,4,11,0,0,6,3,28,5,18,24,3,16,0,3,0,0,20,3,1,3,13,108,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540177724956901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847595016287835,0.1806815167981793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681564734444746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681000224490875,0.0,0.0,0.3562619233930389,0.0,0.17573212501673566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679206832429394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252875565213018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381332106737173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030453681402906,0.11346156646938955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595456032237624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21290838484519506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002088410083524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760507534010873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728372370542463,0.12946009843050166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327753697156073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350237113791272,0.0,0.0,0.10601407541882188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676919728401145,0.0,0.2335030321447521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856529428539549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107489076635314,0.126300624907922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132781247914471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194134289737937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551344074615064,0.20353183113812176,0.0,0.0,0.09260964912901133,0.0,0.30108697710029386,0.15176002061453936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653379886556519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,milklolly,2018/03/28,"Experiencing memory blanks, can you relate? Hey guys! I've been under a lot of stress lately and some things have been happening to my mind that I'm unsure are because of severe stress/mental illness or if I'm just a bit daft. I was hoping there might be people here that could relate to any of these experiences? 

The other week I saw someone in town that I recognised and somehow knew that I knew them well. They said hello and called me by name, making small talk, but I couldn't remember a thing about them other than that I *should* know *lots* about them. After a few minutes they spoke to my mum who was with me, and it triggered me realising exactly who I was talking to. She is a lady I have known very well for years, I know her husband too and I've been to their house once or twice. I knew their names and everything about them, like a mental block had been lifted and it all of a sudden made sense. I don't have the best memory for faces and names, but it's never had such a severe consequence. Has my facial memory deteriorated so much or is it due to being under a huge amount of stress currently? 

Another thing I wanted to bring up is my emotional reaction to the stress. I have been keeping it together quite well, some days are worse than others. Yesterday I cried heavily for about an hour without *really* being sure of the reason. A few days ago my friend confessed she'd recently gotten out of the ICU after a near-fatal suicide attempt. I felt empathy for her and I'm supporting her, but I'm surprised at my lack of devastation. I came very close to losing a childhood friend, but the emotional impact feels close to 0. I felt physically on the verge of tears when I tried to tell a counselor about it, but at the same time I felt no negative emotions.  Am I dissociating from my emotions without realising? All that I can think is that I might be in survival mode right now. I can't let myself break down because so much is on the line, but if I don't deal with what I'm going through consciously I'm worried I'll sink into an unfeeling depression. 

Sorry for the word vomit. Please let me know if you've experienced anything like this before, and if you have any advice/support for me! 
Thank you 💖",3.21617159336698,5.2053643013698645,4.557774573419851,82.91524152847873,74.93607305936072,7.624224945926461,24.083393415044466,8.452757503120043,1.5929077625570782,1756,55,341,33,38,581,230,438,0.16,0.746,0.093,-0.9872,1,0,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,3,8,5,18,18,0,3,25,0,41,4,2,4,5,78,73,26,1,10,16,2,4,2,2,3,2,2,0,1,24,17,0,2,16,0,0,3,9,5,3,1,22,9,53,13,54,39,15,42,1,2,1,0,36,19,0,15,21,249,77,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218864795298463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075938518148463,0.08539339420806083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701539748627157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928601251874332,0.0,0.06929656354001695,0.0,0.08546270599618179,0.0,0.08890769458780262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315589179255688,0.09314179564279126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650205126451833,0.0,0.08945430053269211,0.10503976261735096,0.08395757693959595,0.07014123946199884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664209352025134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731899808911471,0.07966063853516353,0.0,0.0,0.04117680078646319,0.0,0.23457577176755334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583545758672712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462823065248807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063505493212747,0.07201413204990867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088493640282833,0.08019866423961093,0.0939669228923146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238460756450665,0.0,0.0,0.13426630594640654,0.0,0.09186405185207724,0.0,0.0,0.16654891811801015,0.0,0.07957163573437033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110674448367258,0.0,0.13846900027037895,0.0,0.07705729668678289,0.054359574655056066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206895650636148,0.17278276403472145,0.08222776886845821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973056839772295,0.0,0.06280893994913206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672734000630382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645789686037445,0.0,0.0,0.08939295123551952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661786711489942,0.0,0.0,0.052170382578022714,0.08373040620601051,0.08040883535442442,0.0,0.0922518126911487,0.06954642652119211,0.0774648721943198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840003958927587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900098187316323,0.0,0.0,0.0911616261584724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731414815446471,0.0,0.0,0.08907844202428071,0.18482661731041605,0.07675304838361208,0.0,0.0,0.13091133702486085,0.07117919330077159,0.07497589618848738,0.0,0.0,0.162308610531934,0.05218129633128271,0.0,0.0,0.047486346654618455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552901177524908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438747660732733,0.04803342704703081,0.0,0.06532354250736874,0.0,0.21966389826812405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700398670729682,0.0,0.0,0.0827028382632094,0.08299087072242156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244251176991066
mentalhealth,Hutch-It,2018/03/28,"What do you do when your depression gets in the way of being a good friend (F24)  My depression has taken over my life for almost as long as I can remember. This has made me (in my opinion) not a great friend. The depression got worse in the past few years and I stopped talking to my main group of friends who I had built a good relationship with. There were other reasons, but one of them was on me. I also don't actively work on new friend relationships. I have some old friends who I see on occasion and we are all okay with that. 

My question is, how do you apologize or make up with someone for not being there for them when they needed you to be? Or to apologize for simply not being there or trying to be for awhile? 

I am in therapy because I don't want this to be my life anymore. I want to grow and be better than I was before. I don't want to let the intimidation of the apologies stop me from living my life more peacefully. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you for reading this too. ",3.477313432835821,4.720763298507464,4.782268656716418,84.64295522388059,72.73134328358209,8.146069651741294,26.335323383084567,8.648137234880735,1.7228929353233828,777,26,164,14,15,258,113,201,0.114,0.703,0.183,0.961,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,1,5,3,2,8,14,0,0,8,1,26,3,0,4,1,30,37,13,0,4,7,0,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,3,1,0,1,6,3,0,1,7,1,30,11,33,22,5,20,0,3,1,0,24,9,0,7,9,129,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918874875278065,0.0,0.0,0.12213643947078692,0.0,0.0,0.09754024580871036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294453159248161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209625580829081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435245138421998,0.0,0.1037884237868844,0.0,0.0,0.10787352740707454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151605930075603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711728523119978,0.0,0.06372486636617396,0.0,0.0,0.204607146129778,0.09755143214782766,0.13447357000798196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472371508651375,0.2584553883265559,0.0,0.0,0.10770271724541088,0.1079405866275293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541200538438055,0.08141665737747145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044002627769583,0.0,0.1178004498861147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279881532845532,0.0,0.08265077501849122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643521770684802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663554808647368,0.0,0.12200410861992705,0.0,0.0,0.1254066066081185,0.0,0.2619026332174426,0.13816948116291652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719517624983803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334571849623413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20394660472954992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803575120862756,0.0,0.1122946029339318,0.1394845844608805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281037153030593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582514749442405,0.0968149830893022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879641456636603,0.0,0.124298972719003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854539039127117
mentalhealth,makemepureagain,2018/03/28,"I'm afraid I am the toxic one to everyone around me so I am isolating myself I have Borderline Disorder and I am heavily medicated and seeing my therapist 3 times per week.

I feel I am overly emotive and any behavior that I dislike from my family or friends I react badly and cry and get upset and tend to isolate myself so no one hurts me. Some of the very few friends that were left me just say ""she's sick, she's that way, she'll be okay and come back later"" but I feel awful for it and I think I'm so toxic I'd better isolate or kill myself (attempted many times).

I can't control my emotions and they are so strong, I don't know how to stop being this shitty person I am, I am out of control of myself, and this feels awful, I want to kill this thing taking control of me but it means killing me in the process too. 

I don't know where else to look for support....I've tried making throwaway accounts to talk about my relationships with people anonymously and without talking about my mental issues and I was bashed and called toxic and downvoted and called psycho and sick and disgusting .....I ended up with some very few mentally ill online friends who go through the same I do everyday and just accepted the fact I will probably be never able to have a real friend or a relationship because I am toxic...",5.421882183908046,5.7245950651341,6.414786877394638,78.12608836206898,67.69731800766283,9.436877394636015,30.871886973180075,9.354420925462401,2.6687335249042143,1036,38,198,19,16,346,146,261,0.228,0.6759999999999999,0.096,-0.9906,0,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,1,6,13,16,4,2,7,3,21,4,0,6,2,53,39,28,3,1,8,0,3,0,4,2,4,1,0,1,10,23,0,4,8,0,1,2,6,8,0,2,2,6,39,8,25,32,5,19,0,1,2,0,17,7,0,5,9,143,49,0,0.10272304200802353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985519108866117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144528593674436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898767858919667,0.0857694493323685,0.06261901296728609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085018295663227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20978342202961764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848680497016484,0.0,0.0,0.34563787898865544,0.0,0.0,0.1128364381433626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772950564819402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581192046485099,0.23109919223112835,0.09098212540490158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815626873792173,0.0,0.0,0.09683814188854416,0.0,0.15581956956396842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174542697595034,0.0,0.05366854971198585,0.0,0.05837987202659181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099671410380777,0.0,0.0,0.10721616757220384,0.0,0.0,0.3409434788910405,0.0,0.11290779489595518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160888570528202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626148382751561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856842819784936,0.10414504157715712,0.0,0.11189550703840803,0.0,0.10348265781095783,0.20704133125351676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922634267125414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921558351571875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121522329115762,0.08969379806896946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075281328229568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692131074103974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22057220818263493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168948600578754,0.0,0.0,0.08185696488331211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588106275204847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656889074758316,0.0,0.0,0.07723494354972088,0.1651297801727505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192693691490864,0.0682446246607172,0.06582077754409847,0.0,0.0,0.11979726374339973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974220260587856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951453536773778,0.060588711638578416,0.08153676938193394,0.08239822814045994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902134681543226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hclay24,2018/03/28,"I realized today I always tell people of embarrassing things that happen to me. Anybody else feel the need to overshare so other people can feel the trauma? I'm really good at oversharing but it bites me in the ass sometimes. No customer wants to hear your life story when buying a dollar granola bar, apparently. 

I also think I'm a comedian in my own head. I have no clue why, but I assume it's the BP1. ",2.41,4.759872000000001,4.830000000000002,78.24500000000002,79.0,7.0,22.5,8.07648339933343,1.5396249999999996,320,10,57,6,8,112,60,80,0.17,0.763,0.067,-0.8202,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,6,0,2,4,2,0,0,9,11,5,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,5,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,9,1,7,11,1,5,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,2,37,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20718923247456827,0.21557848804371976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164312817123172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620011219412877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730721105920606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910696110838796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658947388758863,0.0,0.29200628804871404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299855986732144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19210736526339836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592321899064696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597572548717435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562405168306281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264506730426807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212377377505514,0.16601044668386886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24558116182424294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281434614444725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337828442517401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Abysmal0ne,2018/03/28,"I need love, I need drugs, I need savior. Title says it all.",-2.2384615384615363,-0.4516590769230717,0.560384615384617,102.6221153846154,101.30769230769228,2.6,6.5,3.1291,-2.555123076923077,44,0,11,0,2,15,9,13,0.0,0.682,0.318,0.6369,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168371663564579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32440931912807663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7995623065673995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858417190044101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pollen_and_salt,2018/03/28,"Today I was diagnosed with Mood Disorder NOS. I'm feeling a little in between about it. On one hand I'm glad my psychiatrist was able to have an actual diagnosis for me (rather than me saying ""I have anxiety and depression and something else that I don't know what it is""). On the other, she told me it will be a long road to ""recovery"", she couldn't say how long but she said it will be tough. 

All in all, I need to be weaned off of a medication that my PCP gave me that actually made everything worse for my mental health. My mind had something she defined as ""racing thoughts"" that seemed steady at first, but then started to get out of wack when I was put on anxiety medication. My brain went into almost a shock state where the thoughts stopped and it made it seem like the meds were helping. Then once the brain got used to the medication, the thoughts started again and progressively got worse. This then lead to an increase in medication, the brain was shocked and stopped the thoughts, and the medication was increased. This started a cycling of my brain with the racing thoughts going through phases of being so overwhelming that I felt like I was having thoughts that weren't mine (""voices"" as some call them). In reality, they were my own thoughts, just my brain not recognizing them based on how much was going on at the time. 

So for the next step, I need to be weaned off of the medication that began this cycling in the first place. Then I need to be put on a mood stabilizer to help these thoughts slow down so I can stop feeling so numbed by everything that is running through my brain. 

Has anyone else been diagnosed with Mood Disorder NOS? If so, how was your road to recovery?",7.579041394335513,6.964679271604941,7.175657225853303,77.5625163398693,63.382716049382715,10.833405954974584,35.41684822076978,10.194018383442646,3.301419244734931,1340,53,266,26,17,421,155,324,0.111,0.815,0.07400000000000001,-0.9123,0,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,3,4,14,12,0,1,22,0,30,17,7,7,2,50,65,24,0,6,6,0,4,2,0,2,10,4,0,0,20,11,0,3,14,0,0,10,4,6,0,3,31,8,32,3,47,25,7,55,0,2,0,0,16,23,0,5,23,186,52,1,0.06837166218764545,0.0,0.13344175912859976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684643434147861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460826886415966,0.0,0.0,0.047807055921929874,0.07005484770046913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579523212062017,0.06981511150369238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888841245624101,0.1387915958165551,0.0,0.0,0.1567196966201234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423150099541682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289608268805588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069141533481325,0.0,0.06564751780856294,0.0,0.0,0.11631380185826283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03572137155675493,0.0,0.07771438249362468,0.0,0.109366128243333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267587970240429,0.0,0.0,0.09165616790318863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037575277464890665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680588111765642,0.06852636739216186,0.0,0.1210135390106607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938983983916302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594550340256259,0.4132635395422508,0.06890255429857775,0.0,0.06903588823955223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050261038652198615,0.1520901635338597,0.0,0.0,0.07271403839615695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728135888201815,0.046330407770873834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143383481959396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374648097567901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503710769355005,0.10874378001838853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448598679117225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527169177848082,0.0,0.0,0.1451814432102884,0.0,0.0,0.17148531320773386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342357007057074,0.03986806605195857,0.0,0.06480834126526618,0.06533205322350885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059051163836810784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338121583431908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935312984745096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Runechi,2018/03/28,"I don’t like how I think There are many times where I would think some things but think that they are bad. Like being jealous of someone, being possessive. I’m fully aware that these are bad, and I don’t like how I’m feeling these things. Like I would suddenly get jealous, but then I realize that none of these are right. Why am I even having these thoughts? I never acted on any of these thoughts because I’m aware that they are bad. But how am I even feeling these if I know that they are bad? 

I tried thinking for a moment when I’m feeling these but I’m not getting where is it coming from. I don’t have any idea",1.6531395348837208,3.553307434108529,2.5063759689922485,96.24002906976746,79.31007751937985,5.230232558139536,21.602713178294568,5.985473137389443,0.016973643410852723,485,14,109,3,12,152,61,129,0.212,0.669,0.119,-0.9581,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,9,10,2,0,1,0,18,0,0,3,1,27,36,11,0,3,6,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,15,2,0,0,12,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,2,3,15,4,6,30,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,10,75,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093396853172733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5140619974909286,0.09382727514704137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258713932708724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332340524384093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334774205784747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608321032846649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375522585880218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458956981231093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007871731595414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560491775295941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871141847274184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314455386243963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041462633836962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045131940579418,0.3944989812119031,0.0,0.24438815624292065,0.08975110189765262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450054261764063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888748528241596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21867854028489192,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_DrPeter_,2018/03/28,"Seeing things in corner of eye and in darkness So, like in title. I basically sometimes see things (shapes, humanoid objects) in corner of my eye. The strongest effect occurs when it's dark and my imagination can go on full and start creating even some movement (moving shadow). Also, after smoking weed in darker places whole background can change, I can see more lively shadows and people faces can change when I'm not looking at them closely. Of course when I'm more tired or scared effect is a bit stronger.

To additon, when I'm looking at me in mirror and not focusing sight on my face, I can see it changes a bit (shape or facial gesture can be different). Few years ago, while being around 14 I keep doing this because it was quite interesting, but I stopped when It started getting creepy - then i needed to keep eye contact in mirror because i was frightened of it.

Also, what I noticed recently, sometimes random colorful dot can appear, or random somewhat light in darkness. It is really weird and it only last for a little moment. 

So yea, I'm writing this because im curious if this is normal and if anyone had anything similar. 

Sorry if this post is breaking any rules or something - I'm on phone right now and can't really sleep.",6.268254649499288,7.176551733905582,6.674008583690988,74.87982546494995,65.99570815450646,8.445092989985694,33.559084406294716,8.447377352677275,2.866164749642346,986,42,162,13,15,320,141,233,0.081,0.858,0.062,-0.6623,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,3,12,4,0,1,4,1,18,8,7,2,0,34,37,27,0,5,10,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,10,0,3,3,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,3,12,13,2,22,32,9,46,0,0,11,0,4,23,0,12,18,109,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039202048881397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875027793319217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972263179690417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197221595419589,0.0,0.09647297788385202,0.10436244961444303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214392907805824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559766971591993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720517096991285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224837970326062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774314576205679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124953580517789,0.0,0.06662635903492402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663203002296947,0.0,0.0,0.20840460272230696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556074769813626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727424548930271,0.11749851728163273,0.10351910976684896,0.0,0.19689281229528835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460039437436984,0.0,0.08692697126874406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114863696469885,0.0,0.13347083498362866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891611712559996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127477623773667,0.0,0.1224837970326062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227704962717076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469199455593695,0.0,0.0,0.15020524695605136,0.0,0.11575369371498248,0.0,0.0,0.10011655708010013,0.0,0.0,0.11737093725489595,0.0,0.3736788959962448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731791694905737,0.0,0.0,0.09025188527004392,0.23189336873038655,0.13123302814168816,0.16595659902602333,0.0,0.0,0.0980122484443354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576912750947738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347423780361986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308867397711395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549437096435427
mentalhealth,UnluckyMule,2018/03/28,"I don't know what's wrong with me. I have severe mood-swings. I'm impulsive, severely depressed, severely anxious. I can be over-emotional and then emotionally numb. I'm scared everyone will one day hate me and leave me. I have anger issues, suicidal thoughts. I think I'm nothing, I feel empty. I can be manipulative, I lie regularly. I am friends with people who treat me like crap and I'm in love with a girl who uses me to talk too when she's sad and forgets all about me when she's happy. My doctor won't diagnose me and I just want to know what's wrong.",1.3825362318840604,3.6086488695652217,3.538804347826087,86.76009057971018,82.04347826086956,7.3115942028985526,23.49637681159421,8.344100000000001,1.5415942028985512,440,16,94,10,12,150,72,115,0.287,0.53,0.183,-0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,14,3,1,1,0,10,5,1,2,1,19,23,8,1,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,1,1,20,5,7,18,1,5,0,2,0,1,8,1,1,0,5,54,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637472084233896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068651602129476,0.0,0.13446864034853478,0.15846171091064648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979865955667127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35123506035714713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918236036115615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894055562930302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062035843043765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619599630163862,0.0,0.1541392883758173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295200656011896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160240056317905,0.0,0.0,0.16531187347503165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627388501814722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409072383538704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980437311529396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579308695699674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823613449068666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630650908049348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5291241625270169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077338631662473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548587415167547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000374105606319,0.0,0.12394434199614225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484027469809934,0.0,0.0,0.09208547889710623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413923118630989,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,secretboe,2018/03/28,"What is Manic Depression? Before i start this is a throwaway account i'm very paranoid about people finding out about my mental health/other issues.Also if this is not the correct subreddit for this issue please tell me one i can go too.

Hello im 16 years old in the uk and i was diagnosed with what i thought was depression however after reading a form of my details(im not very good with names of serious stuff) i saw it said Manic Depression and was confused of what the difference is. 

After researching a little bit multiple websites said it was the old name of Bipolar disorder. This really confused me because a close family member suffers from bipolar and i after living with him/her (again i'm paranoid) i understand the symptoms really well so in my personal opinion i don't suffer from Bipolar Also a while ago i was prescribed Fluxitine(prozac) which to my knowlage is medication for Depression not bipolar ive also been told i do suffer from Depression from countless social workers/people this has been rolling around in my head for a while 

 I couldn't find anything online about this issue any information or tips on how to get said information would be Extremely useful and i would really appreciate any advice to my problem",6.202858253433533,8.1448600969163,6.875796838559214,69.549606115574,66.97356828193833,9.746462814200571,34.498315625809795,10.056822442137396,4.056025861622182,1010,48,151,25,17,332,129,227,0.161,0.768,0.071,-0.9649,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,11,14,0,2,11,0,21,8,1,2,1,33,34,12,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,0,1,13,10,0,0,6,1,1,1,5,12,1,1,13,4,21,2,29,17,2,20,0,8,1,0,12,8,0,5,11,114,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178161309912462,0.0923294386430808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24988441436920594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416614959310432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571283997977362,0.09272235749236908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349351359881272,0.0,0.08863045635251877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371313586159082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4485539935222258,0.1057177838120521,0.0,0.10882253585880147,0.11937364729399814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819052692664178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039634102625566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441805339133591,0.0,0.059195171286935785,0.08736246333071461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689575951782697,0.1107146710653072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22501618927406306,0.2174269721343181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439329054138166,0.09197307976723837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492783628502632,0.10496637489582578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859178546961527,0.0,0.07057989359988655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441954716986244,0.09094640936605768,0.0,0.11433378017550988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966476801621006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418579865968504,0.0,0.2001781003168566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972332229681483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617556868975933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737232939623291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923554639916895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082596402410934,0.0,0.0,0.09103834393473864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268950951352416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952706196719946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843174754344136,0.0,0.08995873468594262,0.0,0.1718818765506701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365020213176133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147981158459392,0.0,0.0,0.06707408727065403
mentalhealth,Redditacc222,2018/03/29,OCD is taking over my brain - I’m young and need help! What are ways to help OCD thoughts?,-1.1585964912280673,0.8806633157894731,-0.6989473684210523,111.35403508771928,100.05263157894736,2.533333333333333,11.596491228070176,3.1291,-2.231329824561404,69,1,18,0,3,20,17,19,0.0,0.738,0.262,0.69,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4795620391580026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5758872713904633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185338978872901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229965500377001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410447143664566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409867865654627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,metzlermar22,2018/03/29,"Does anyone want to collaborate on a mental health blog with me? Hey, I am Marissa and I live in America!Looking for a person or people who are willing to work together to create a great blog about mental health. Join me to invest your time on an important topic, which is still stigmatized to this day! My hope is to not only share my knowledge and experience with people all over the country, but to shed tears of joy, empathize, provide a safe place for learning and sharing, and ultimately build a great community where mental illness is not frowned upon, but rather looked at as a so-called ""blessing in disguise"". Thus, together we can educate by telling our stories to combat the threatening stigma. This blog can be a simple service to society, passion, and hobby; however, if optimized we can make a pretty good profit from blogging. It is preferred you have first-hand experience with mental illness or are well educated about the topic, but it's not required. Additionally, it is preferred but not required you have some kind of skill(s) or experience that will help the blog thrive; for example, web design, proofreading, journalism, can write well, etc. No resume needed lol. If interested, comment below: 1) Your level of commitment. 2) Your experience/knowledge of mental health. 3) If any, helpful skills that will help the blog thrive.",7.43936440677966,9.026327555084748,7.462500000000002,67.83154661016951,63.70338983050847,9.967796610169492,35.936440677966104,10.125756701596842,4.062216949152543,1077,50,162,24,16,346,148,236,0.073,0.653,0.274,0.9957,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,3,5,0,4,7,15,0,0,14,1,18,6,0,2,2,42,23,16,0,9,15,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,9,11,0,3,4,6,2,0,5,0,2,0,0,1,14,15,32,19,3,14,1,0,1,1,19,11,0,8,3,115,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811342775187702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031760397613956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407964476184516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052079414391173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810695194247515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370855944724997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770572245514254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634490194754967,0.0,0.2532823151492151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662944148299459,0.0,0.0,0.2309785758709094,0.0,0.0,0.11408874517612792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196161952519808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142957300144463,0.0,0.19291852415601174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667454456311512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5787940673584799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517234738547863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736144996970249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926848420834366,0.10029734234581668,0.1200114574071749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168609279057048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917328509593844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039872944809684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697981037955787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775147094154363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065582676531644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362446783030933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwawayundertrains,2018/03/29,"My lost case I don't want to go into much detail, but my case has been going quite slowly lately, and today I phoned the clinic only to find they don't have my case which should have been sent to them by the other clinic last week. So I called the other clinic that is giving my case away since they can't help me anymore however they are closed for the holidays. I feel totally discouraged by everything and everyone which is a great part of all my issues even from the beginning. I'm highly functional and believe this is why they wont help me. I don't know how much longer I have to assert this self control, I can't take it much longer and I don't know what I will do or what I will have to do for some doctor to take my problems seriously. I'm starting to think it really is rigged, I'm really under surveillance, my existence is form of entertainment to whoever or whatever wants me suffering. My rationality and logical thinking is starting to fall behind and my other dimension is engulfing me. I'm losing track. When will I explode and what will I do? I don't want to have to project manage my own case. I just want some peace of mind so I'm posting here to let out some steam. Thank you for listening.",4.739433673469385,5.378379808163266,5.986772959183675,79.41362882653061,69.28571428571428,9.716836734693876,27.557397959183675,9.827888789773867,2.448352040816326,963,30,192,22,16,324,127,245,0.126,0.7809999999999999,0.094,-0.4867,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,5,4,7,9,0,0,6,0,33,4,0,2,2,36,59,14,0,6,4,0,1,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,13,10,0,2,7,2,0,4,8,6,0,0,4,2,34,3,26,48,11,19,0,4,0,0,14,6,0,5,8,140,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688961425328144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968462300325326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555136153211865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094503466693348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481344955651002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412805281332936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091168141923497,0.0,0.0,0.1318944897189256,0.12405331927302198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979259664245392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126157789387396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241186657105006,0.15689234176907318,0.0,0.0,0.152179611752567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850384749707084,0.14583727909861935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406845220769193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171640267676326,0.11251364853740024,0.15570492593881274,0.0,0.0,0.14114600019228185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442132821660218,0.1506770893788026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937191320924294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044058950556381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497875882647728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494740698805458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219549663291422,0.0,0.0,0.13207697947303335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681290790243298,0.0,0.0,0.1768523245325777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399638625498573,0.0,0.0,0.11418062977723943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539803638058406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075641953171527,0.0,0.0,0.1270803554585489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688932105317098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083720285766925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32565692673727553,0.0,0.11072010370878003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455146474100735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GhastlySmashley,2018/03/29,"Help with severe fears/phobias I am terrified of bugs. More than anything else. I am in therapy for OCD and am on medication and I believe I know why I am so afraid of them but thinking about it rationally doesn’t help. 
There was just an ant in my living room and I’m home alone. One ant turned into 40 minutes of crying, pacing, calling my bf and generally losing my mind.  Now I’m afraid to touch anything else in the house and I can’t sit down because I can’t turn my back on any of the house so I’m just standing around and scanning the floors and walls and ceilings. 
I don’t know what to do anymore, I am so sick of this fear. ",0.5330325814536323,2.7459406992481235,2.418375939849625,93.51653634085217,85.61654135338345,5.050426065162909,21.64862155388472,6.42735559955562,0.28825854636591464,495,17,110,5,15,164,81,133,0.179,0.782,0.039,-0.9643,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,10,4,0,3,4,0,11,2,0,0,0,19,19,12,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,3,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,2,14,0,19,18,1,15,0,1,1,0,5,11,0,0,2,70,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703548005649463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185409220888072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312295537580826,0.0,0.0,0.2707110169512676,0.14642475792892584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647728746554876,0.0,0.1002673207433088,0.0,0.0,0.18531603489970688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679555510900623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18067687110883893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748089101098913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850891235988244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049899884739368,0.0,0.16498987759816444,0.0,0.0,0.3795826363810033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079112954346385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524151785079442,0.0,0.0,0.18401442336700866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569933555998487,0.0,0.0,0.16608095875708387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145794945801778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581899145554032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188100665257346,0.0,0.0,0.10539407602984656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578205809318967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842033952515035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hating-life,2018/03/29,"All of my energy is consumed by anxiety I could start reading a novel and a chapter in, I don't want to continue. I don't have energy to watch a favorite tv show of mine. I had a paper that I was pushing off and even when I completed it, I was anxious. I'm constantly anxious, even when I complete stuff. There's little satisfaction in getting things done. I just want to sleep all the time. I'm tired.",2.3738726333907043,4.018980397590365,4.6728399311531845,82.67951807228917,76.34939759036145,8.11635111876076,28.72461273666093,8.841846274778883,2.4057070567986227,315,14,64,7,7,110,55,83,0.14300000000000002,0.7,0.157,0.4701,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,0,9,2,1,0,2,8,15,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,11,0,9,10,2,11,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,6,48,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585851463163279,0.46838357354589394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347035388809247,0.22401936984386872,0.0,0.1655134485921803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121414966342348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27384148564275096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830652292514448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777064982356694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20735768532297835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745129729618486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672912994935314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23731072015210686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772196276962434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087922220391605,0.23826267846641105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445436935152779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zelsoft,2018/03/29,"Life's different one morning. Hey, there Reddit.
So I'm a 19-year-old guy and I woke up one morning and my life was different.
I have no idea how to explain it exactly.

From my Senior year of high school, I would smoke weed heavily. When I graduated I stopped smoking so often, but still did it once in a while. Every time I would smoke too much weed though, I would start panicking and thinking that I’m in a movie and just thinking a lot which gave me anxiety. I would just drink some water and wait it out and eventually, I would be back to normal.

I haven’t smoked weed in about a month now, but randomly I woke up one morning about 4 days ago and I started feeling hazing like I’m high, but like a diluted version of it. Thing are brighter and I’m thinking a lot. I basically feel like my life is like a movie or something. It’s really annoying because I haven’t smoked in a while, I eat a balanced diet, I exercise, and I’m healthy overall. I have no idea why I just woke up one morning and started feeling like this. I feel like I’m in a dream or in a VR word or something.

Nothing has changed. I don’t hear voices talking to me. I don’t see or hear anything new. I’m not even acting any different. If you were to ask any of my friends, they would tell you that I’m the same old guy. My brain is just processing the things I see differently and it’s almost like it doesn’t believe their real. Every time I go into a different room in my house I feel like I’m in a new “scene” of a movie. This isn’t exactly how I feel, but it’s the closest thing I can compare it too. I basically feel like I would when I was high, but only the anxiety of it.

I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and be better. That’s what I’ve been hoping for the last few days. I talked to my brother and he said that I’m having an existential crisis or existential dread. I don’t care what it is, I just want it to go away, because it’s really annoying and I want to enjoy my life again. I also don’t want to go to a doctor because they’ll just give me medicine that I have to take every day and I don’t want to do that.

I just want to know what is wrong with me and if it’ll go away soon. I’m finding myself not doing some stuff that I would usually do, because I feel better laying down on my couch and sleeping because I’m hoping I’ll wake up feeling like myself again tomorrow.

Am I just a kid that's going through a phase that will go away shortly or am I mentally messed up?",2.1655389457120364,3.3303445597722963,4.066570093025408,88.80106030453098,75.88804554079697,7.266700606285001,25.75688434303698,7.8500785054351265,1.2766174758180222,1921,68,435,28,41,654,211,527,0.075,0.758,0.16699999999999998,0.9919,5,0,7,0,0,0,49.0,0,2,3,2,30,22,2,1,24,0,44,15,5,2,2,96,102,41,0,20,24,1,9,10,1,11,6,4,2,3,33,21,4,2,17,3,0,8,13,5,0,4,10,15,63,17,45,78,8,64,0,0,2,0,22,27,0,17,39,283,96,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108905608023901,0.0,0.0577121173326571,0.0,0.0,0.04608988222646638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838618122665242,0.0,0.08817969158162829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047427864318022366,0.0,0.05388000208989995,0.0,0.1624470967916126,0.044316981974231166,0.0,0.17566573157239998,0.0,0.0,0.0649337722428887,0.0,0.10194516391308026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433859528429871,0.0,0.0,0.05876169549771936,0.0,0.060969121073961366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460160525386086,0.0,0.0,0.11150746984154382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30107627204233905,0.0,0.05899083252109635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564593702372441,0.0,0.058973961705755314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03806670786503931,0.0,0.14567737086424862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622733005553853,0.2470424105097581,0.0,0.0,0.05267642415635786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452787891053058,0.0,0.0,0.055287776368793465,0.2292830790484804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413342569163028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991539439391314,0.0,0.0,0.18268042922069905,0.0,0.11448711588619835,0.0,0.06650188817027806,0.0,0.13012352247118006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031674134501267694,0.046979395426277146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628343707085858,0.28157057069951114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799671722339742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058081507831133264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600290220136392,0.0,0.042367615247303286,0.0,0.0,0.11132653637399248,0.0,0.0,0.05646907487191885,0.055301369297394716,0.0,0.12095435811873265,0.061378320039429723,0.1562171370369154,0.04383324766709956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560010007969573,0.0738436215896998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054823124023069145,0.0,0.0,0.058328676388808676,0.09185365874761077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535122827517184,0.0,0.0,0.08873892488706606,0.0,0.0,0.12238090759615933,0.0,0.04602658010720197,0.04818459762192457,0.0,0.0,0.06597713152241279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433335890129817,0.09264803855528736,0.050374648942832084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486838915686895,0.11078860389564557,0.05662510408212591,0.0,0.06721368791568202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347569923230804,0.0,0.16997010733114634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05200571298729837,0.0,0.06627624596765913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275322720232819,0.06301372223327012,0.0,0.07422880191762307
mentalhealth,jbirdjumps,2018/03/29,"How do you deal with self-hate? I don't really know where to begin. I guess the reasons why 'I hate myself' are because I feel like a failure. Dropped out college, I don't currently have a job. I feel like I do a lot of things wrong and with my depression and anxiety it makes me feel like the dullest, most boring, needy person in the world. I know logically that's not true, I hate that I can't handle my mental illnesses on my own I think it's the primary cause. I'm a very private person. I like to be in the background of things. And I feel like my illness are shouting at people (mostly my family) saying ""Look at me! I have problems! I need you to watch everything I do!"" It's hard. I want their support, however they don't really give the support I need and they tend to forget what I say or ignore it. And I don't know how else to make them understand.

Basically TLDR: I hate myself like a lot. What are some things you do to lessen those feelings. Coping tools? Positive Self-talk? Anything because I can't feel like this all the time.",1.1559277403551746,3.4195320187793463,3.090283731373752,89.40141457440296,83.27230046948357,6.333455807307613,21.93692590324556,7.586124646067393,0.9794737293325172,812,27,170,14,23,272,111,213,0.219,0.657,0.124,-0.9691,3,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,4,0,3,18,3,0,12,0,16,2,0,6,2,42,43,8,0,4,2,0,7,7,0,0,2,3,0,2,13,8,0,1,13,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,0,12,38,10,16,42,7,12,0,1,2,0,13,8,0,7,10,112,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787626959803728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472577735930856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552465414056266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576637183041383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061453223920433,0.08867769589191297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860083154226275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253213826248956,0.0,0.09705977220149292,0.0,0.3123523775129886,0.3677665821581008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876683039960588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341999980579485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223027120738148,0.3049495459497046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217006814239447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697493049534241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521010291932641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645890768637195,0.0,0.0,0.1750626591519881,0.0,0.0,0.13745071706884926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375759001493927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526843138003184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713782112617746,0.1797981547081037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985170360415218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191524290998932,0.10585811650028903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637528921631807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481559059166327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336713563703681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275385367109048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052024417559333,0.06597141942178357,0.0,0.0,0.060035719926757825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718305569170604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495124889204897,0.06072737905680576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929037080486797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256856443541363,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OrdoOrdo,2018/03/29,"I wish I could be a kid again Anyone else feel that way?

While my childhood wasn't the best , I was beaten and abused , I still miss being a child.
Everything seemed more magical and happier then. The childhood innocence , positivity. Everything was more fun back then , heck even food seemed to taste better. 

Honestly like when I see a happy child , while im walking to home from school or something ( I try not to look too long , I dont want to seem like a pedo) , I feel like any moment I could burst to tears and cry.

These days my head is so fucked up , lethargy , sadness , numbness , depression , voices in my head ( they are nice though , my only friends) . Just goes worse , year after year . I cant even seem to accomplish anything.

Il probably just kill myself soon anyway so this post dosenr matter , sorry you had to read this :( ",3.923269230769233,5.89374632692308,4.218205128205128,86.19346153846153,72.91025641025641,7.364102564102564,24.179487179487186,8.139509932561175,1.3522333333333334,641,19,124,10,13,200,110,156,0.239,0.5579999999999999,0.203,-0.7957,0,0,1,0,1,1,30.0,0,1,1,4,14,17,3,0,6,0,12,6,2,0,0,18,24,12,1,4,4,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,1,3,4,3,2,0,6,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,6,17,10,11,16,3,22,0,3,2,1,6,2,2,5,20,76,21,4,0.0,0.1494765779299921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579175319321505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821259360527517,0.12926376015232086,0.10381726897213804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700770008958304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239501768694178,0.11157648203812552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014537644538815,0.0,0.13857861816039269,0.0813614609288036,0.0,0.10865968413836838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785621410762864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538880485220348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666523131975333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22676531714367365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757853159152327,0.09012728680423653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255073134498146,0.0,0.09746934314005612,0.11663102051341763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429751662833905,0.0,0.0,0.2589489700834094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654674119429898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627226825329505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395751140705329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490325103153496,0.0,0.0,0.11164584318804256,0.10594093030563588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594882941520927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082447247119912,0.0,0.13601964112458415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619212109973196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276786119830548,0.10053157709498692,0.4593979508085149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712257726306826,0.0,0.1412235309768983,0.0,0.0,0.10074992655828467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239495757525711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565298784338933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744112458098412,0.10013833311412157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507545201594596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285657605744498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248320697065624
mentalhealth,mitskileaks,2018/03/29,"Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and lost I feel so lost and overwhelmed. In need of support, hope, and encouragement, but ashamed to admit it. If you have any insight or encouragement please comment. 

I've been in mental health treatment for over a year after years of struggling. In therapy, trying different meds, the meds working until they don't anymore and I crash, never been able to find sufficient coping mechanisms. In the last few months I've dealt with a lot of physical health issues as well. undiagnosed GI issues, muscle pain, and fatigue. There are a variety of known issues I have, but seeking treatment for that is terrifying and stressful. Anxiety, PTSD, ADD, depression. I've tried so hard and I feel like giving up. I started a job that's perfect for me, a loving relationship (long distance, which will change soon, so hopefully that'll help), and a great doctor and therapist. I have worked my ass off to achieve these things and I'm lucky that I have, but right now, I'm overwhelmed with everything, feeling hopeless and miserable and I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to keep going. ",4.869892125134843,7.3025691067961205,5.026731391585763,79.40723840345201,71.52427184466019,7.8787486515641865,31.34735706580367,8.680891452615391,2.8039480043149947,900,41,152,17,18,282,129,206,0.205,0.57,0.226,0.0962,2,0,0,0,0,2,36.0,0,1,1,6,8,25,0,7,8,0,14,7,1,1,2,39,35,23,0,4,5,0,5,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,9,15,0,1,10,0,0,1,4,14,1,0,4,5,13,11,24,29,2,20,0,10,0,2,10,8,1,6,12,95,22,5,0.11627349052254946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906996074321772,0.0,0.08894890199521155,0.0,0.11531205897944573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300193565820668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014618700985717,0.0,0.0,0.12148105004512035,0.0,0.11901084447948222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713158144316132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449911592371816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23516548174275806,0.08306580486185126,0.0,0.0,0.10627186386572182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154012706448553,0.06608090418760544,0.0,0.0,0.12819193378259156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415820906716412,0.0,0.0,0.2471865664638584,0.0,0.0,0.07793566975727499,0.0,0.0,0.23097162323932546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640779459129624,0.1153834980497187,0.10334922082062148,0.0,0.0,0.12780173915343532,0.0947784135919304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056805354268453026,0.0,0.0,0.10289838019909037,0.0,0.0,0.2538525002364552,0.0988515636629025,0.10494136481675956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583072719768906,0.0,0.11717633062989638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092808390821293,0.0,0.0,0.08621531992642162,0.08967728392430975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372319180661563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763337631986954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591748821214747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483421468212648,0.0,0.09929692559869853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229897504823189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319089054646313,0.1215542979755612,0.0,0.0,0.13194577914178732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296886974771427,0.135002484275179,0.07724694054604665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788413534488105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454383186462013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929697182200906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497526314407802
mentalhealth,WoodBowl3,2018/03/29,"anyone relate to me? I don't understand my symptoms and cannot relate to usual diagnosed groups. What I have is severe uncaused tearful grief, but more so after a difficult three years at a horrid school, for the past ten years I have rage. It started out that I would destroy something out of intense violent anger once in a while when faced with frustration. As I started to be treated with intolerable side effects of risperidone which doctors forcefully kept me on for past eight years, my rage episodes have increased. I developed irritability of a violent kind with intolerance for noises, for anything said by someone i became frustrated with, and so much as a kid crying. before i did not express myself when younger, but slowly I started  shouting. not aggression. not even rage but blind fits of shouting and shouting swear words and bad things out of irritability and frustration and desrroying anything and everything including glass panes for days and days that ended me up at hospital some time ago. no resolution as to meds either and they worked only half. 

im now on valproate , risperidone , and bupropion but breakthrough uncaused rage fits still happen where if anyone provokes slightly or given my misperceptions i break into blind fits of screaming on the streets like a landslide. the only good thing is like bupropion and similarly pregabalin i often find situations or jokes so funny, i break into uncontrollable hysterical fits of laughter that go on and on and never stop.

can anyone relate to my symptoms? not vaguely but actually? the rage scares me",8.271355311355311,9.85999432234432,7.787271062271062,66.24522893772895,61.82051282051282,10.315750915750916,38.60989010989011,10.380263240014207,4.541013186813187,1282,64,185,29,18,404,159,273,0.31,0.591,0.099,-0.9978,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,10,25,13,2,10,0,11,7,1,2,1,46,20,30,1,2,13,0,0,2,0,1,6,5,0,1,8,22,0,2,3,1,0,2,8,19,0,4,4,7,22,6,40,14,5,47,0,1,2,0,5,21,0,5,24,137,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.12739764985238153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572440912551975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738501025730215,0.0,0.21486251637408532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900352476519748,0.0,0.0,0.11108815717563167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434026867995172,0.16838747930969147,0.0,0.0,0.13250517110802335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362312324981268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562826200891532,0.0,0.0,0.08622682846433283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732962914130733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932003697162945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419438827897544,0.10949887270276908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544464561229227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101605040662996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594739599420325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275599528406236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501125754822092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596903166210538,0.0,0.10068795675668346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903114217894985,0.0,0.19857781981177414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24924887176158755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418263559264968,0.0,0.13070299829519932,0.1321232398493936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474839721850674,0.0,0.0,0.14674330344505093,0.0,0.0,0.1106143151697908,0.10050351716090616,0.0,0.0,0.2772111936765325,0.0,0.10425713833132597,0.10914537313021458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713821958232115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734628050477346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612456478911127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359068147638158,0.0,0.0,0.14378202204306004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950417175448766,0.0,0.0,0.09273874278941263,0.0,0.0,0.2522091295400184
mentalhealth,noinspirationwhatsoe,2018/03/29,"Could my limp be psychosomatic in nature? 4 years I went through a really painful breakup. I also happened to break my leg(it since healed). Recently I've gone through another breakup. I now have difficulty walking, putting pressure on that foot, etc. but doctors say it's fine.

I know it probably has some physical cause(and I'm going to other doctors to see about it), but what is your take on this?",2.573918918918917,5.547840175675677,3.2419459459459468,84.99967567567569,86.43243243243244,6.743783783783782,31.72432432432432,7.908726449838941,2.784577297297297,319,18,58,7,10,100,59,74,0.083,0.885,0.032,-0.3729,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,5,5,1,0,0,5,13,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,2,3,7,1,9,9,2,12,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,3,35,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008415570796192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24924334256820066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897796668873207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865806572985065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650921293820932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350872264419066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019240599025987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063064654560078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529236400919375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25627480581199064,0.0,0.0,0.2389485612258772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227314310901058,0.0,0.2346945812567434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890241569724629,0.0,0.0,0.1894116922010788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966232948794944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871663548314426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22034512482361687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306742456398212
mentalhealth,paranoid927,2018/03/29,"To those of you who experienced serious side effects from antidepressants, how long did it take for the side effects to kick in? I started taking wellbutrin this morning with a lot of hesitation. I've had some issues with paranoia and strange ideas in the past that I never talked about with anyone, and I've read that drugs like wellbutrin that are more activating can potentially worsen this. It's only been a few hours and so far all I feel is a sort of butterflies-in-your-stomach, lightheaded, slightly dizzy anxious feeling. 

I know it's not likely, but if someone were to experience serious side effects from antidepressants, would they start experiencing those side effects right away? Or does it take a while? Is what I'm feeling now likely the worst it's going to get? ",6.533309859154932,8.160840218309861,6.484619718309863,73.86284507042255,65.83098591549296,9.060281690140846,33.91830985915493,9.3871,3.250930140845071,629,28,106,12,10,199,95,142,0.136,0.833,0.031,-0.9052,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,4,4,6,0,0,7,0,9,1,0,5,2,26,21,9,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,6,0,0,9,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,5,6,3,17,16,6,18,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,5,11,71,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910910865728985,0.0,0.1294254781414363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739065412065284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198132415774766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465599796009496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810622747667051,0.0,0.0,0.2807747472946053,0.13223471515218105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670655313204816,0.0,0.10519598957452188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228516426045685,0.0,0.0,0.20895416572081169,0.0,0.19319519647128272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172553315419246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712899677538937,0.0,0.0,0.16380673151698505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573644941507677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275970858374804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407760798842666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669787650721352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514902400554908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807347793558213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568337257750739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620279558097057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175140866741404,0.14877551140899498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314889716853938,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotGonnaCooment,2018/03/29,"Willpower so weak i can't even do what i like So here's a chain of reasoning that leaves me confused:

I know for a fact that i should be doing some things i don't do. In fact, i knew it for a long time, and still don't do it. Why is that? Maybe i am too irresponsible? It doesn't fell like it, i feel plenty of guilt. Maybe i'm regularly doing an error of utility calculation, uderestimating long-term consequenses? It doesn't feel like it, i regularly explore my future and realize that consequences may be dire, and it freightens me. Maybe i'm too hedonic and do only what i like? No, because often i think ""god i wish i was doing somehing else"", realise i **could** be doing something else, and don't do it. Maybe i only do easy stuff? Wrong, because i often have easier alternatives and still don't choose them. Maybe i don't have evidence that thing is good, so words don't mean much until i feel it? No, because i've felt wonderfull things and still don't do it.

So here's a paradox. I know that thing(let's say reading books) is good. I feel guilty for not engaging it. I know that it will feel good, at least better than not doing anything. It's easy. I can remember how good it was in the past. **And i still don't do it**.

How could that be? Why i've never seen this in others? Is there a name for it?",0.09836507936507743,2.424137714814816,2.3652380952380945,91.845,90.37037037037035,5.6042328042328045,18.825396825396822,7.110495986334442,0.36138412698412736,1013,30,224,17,35,342,120,270,0.114,0.7390000000000001,0.147,0.8642,1,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,1,1,18,14,0,2,7,0,43,1,0,3,3,43,59,15,0,4,2,0,6,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,32,8,0,0,17,2,0,2,16,4,0,0,5,8,27,10,13,45,3,16,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,5,14,156,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150276078989621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112443777764986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759420677663984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815324499544733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547302075741166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654160129239513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25039193009933397,0.0707553066052955,0.09509542448754768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322854289994146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329194522698656,0.0,0.0,0.10487070616053516,0.0,0.10127670014916296,0.0,0.1935468037549934,0.0,0.0,0.17529731884939795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4975027699010332,0.10788528830567144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280693871402442,0.0,0.07638695285198807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065113095966867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454637093129717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906835694475173,0.0,0.0,0.10183121377810672,0.0,0.0,0.11219477469698304,0.0,0.0,0.07876181968817941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624702768953069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31637885470029936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337888486855975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631952328275919,0.06346182925299301,0.0,0.0,0.05775192712943768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873919672580013,0.0,0.11389290027765026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082863924721907,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ariellexxw,2018/03/29,"Friend-less I’m a 20 year old girl with no girlfriends and my best friend is my boyfriend. My “best” girl friend has a boyfriend and all her time is for him so each time i ask her to hang out she says yes and then when it comes to the day we are supposed to hang out she either doesn’t answer her phone or she just bails completely. I’m struggling with anxiety and depression and have for years. I would say i have social anxiety since i get overwhelmed starting a new conversation with people i don’t know and feel super awkward if it doesn’t go the way i would like it to. I’ve never had many girlfriends and the thought of making new friends sickens me because so many people in my life have been fake to me. I’ve tried a couple times to make new friends but i just believe I’m too boring for them because i can be shy when i first meet someone and it’s hard for me to open up right away. I am and always have been a very outgoing person but the past couple years i could see that fading away and I’ve now become more introverted because of some life experiences that have caused it. The thought of having no girl friends makes me depressed and i feel that i won’t have any. I feel like I’m missing out on so much in my life and it makes me sad when i see other girls i know with their friends having a good time and I’m not able to do that. My bestfriend is my boyfriend, he is amazing, he tries to make me have new friends and he helps me a lot with my problems but it’s still hard. I mostly hang out with him and his friends but I’ve came to realize that if me and him broke up i would have nobody. I’m writing this for thoughts on what to do? I’m so confused on why my life is like this and i want things to change. ",1.7517827868852471,3.4127611557377087,2.637291666666666,96.52593750000004,78.15300546448087,5.55860655737705,22.63968579234973,6.158741222570753,0.13388005464480912,1357,41,317,9,32,427,165,366,0.123,0.721,0.156,0.9409,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,2,4,12,29,0,5,12,1,33,4,0,6,2,72,63,32,0,8,11,0,5,3,10,4,4,2,0,5,17,32,0,0,10,0,0,6,8,13,0,1,7,9,49,16,39,50,10,46,0,6,2,0,40,15,0,7,27,202,66,0,0.07563998898367744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293853022760076,0.0,0.0,0.05143778631464498,0.0,0.11572876907351802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071317905178318,0.0,0.1421325191326842,0.0,0.0,0.1383283056583638,0.08353842510035199,0.0,0.08522036534924016,0.15875900364379406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651199667433923,0.0,0.0777031046801394,0.08001707884011114,0.06515715288709317,0.07930708933837255,0.0,0.0,0.06039237632154543,0.16738841822971054,0.0,0.04878153535431092,0.0,0.13029722335055954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399042340196907,0.0,0.0,0.11473755347256295,0.054037223243523586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433933598880975,0.0,0.0,0.5259534107011548,0.0,0.039518772318556085,0.0,0.042987948863654056,0.0634432340445385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551714584283414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050699890193221214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313951957764537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137070446376081,0.11086163368200576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430641372231928,0.0,0.0,0.25245140000372523,0.15337415332745874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05560409515168191,0.0,0.058338222561619996,0.2922142908121628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937144442266789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220692832807432,0.10487848879694478,0.06604592081016368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237725405373283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459613730218229,0.0,0.12030391041335035,0.0,0.0,0.12055055615520767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257018052937664,0.0,0.0,0.07710544320043357,0.06408951720482793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353837351953362,0.0,0.0604061929105218,0.0,0.0,0.07907533968808643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025184765389497,0.0,0.0,0.18014910655284386,0.17642514342824234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027091747612772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241091257201755,0.0446144252671111,0.060039502503561014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825332501009382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119743387009786,0.0,0.0,0.14612901885310522
mentalhealth,clr2108,2018/03/29,"I don’t feel safe I don’t really know why. I’m not being abused or anything. I just sometimes get this feeling like I don’t feel safe.  I went through a rough period the last couple of years, kind of a nervous breakdown of sorts, with depression and anxiety but Im doing better now with medication. But during some hypomanic like periods of that period I made some bad decisions, slept with a lot of guys I didn’t know very well. Maybe that has something to do with it? But sometimes I still get this weird feeling that I’m not safe, even when I’m in my psychologists office or in my psychiatrists office. It comes in waves though, it usually goes away. But it’s a bad feeling. Maybe it’s panic/anxiety? Has anyone ever experienced this or have any advice?",2.889482262703737,5.135897550335574,4.5580297219559025,81.3398825503356,76.85234899328859,8.015532118887824,24.73681687440077,8.841846274778883,2.026767593480345,601,21,115,14,14,202,86,149,0.112,0.71,0.17800000000000002,0.794,0,0,1,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,8,13,0,1,5,0,10,2,1,1,1,33,26,10,0,0,10,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,11,6,0,3,8,0,0,2,6,5,1,0,4,7,10,8,15,21,3,16,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,7,12,72,21,0,0.0,0.1707445251326314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082076035263752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799844472043026,0.0,0.22048459296518366,0.0,0.0,0.10076372910346372,0.0,0.11858868149574928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539429685015586,0.0,0.2406484760289832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745189718279448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413636166781244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945286360480665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412008908818355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518203611971357,0.1303540202009577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643269081915188,0.1029508502267774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058106119845446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268966842578554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566146920056567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006640260755624,0.15839607800332775,0.11746732941024715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080786983516874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251554706858732,0.0,0.13635856171090144,0.0,0.0,0.2895518971443754,0.0,0.0,0.14517374246588316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907979697303227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923193342891672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094145025320737,0.285053177050806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508490899088325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158546941164238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871470468299667,0.1189042687068187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295704820332254,0.13358964570014212,0.13003513909156852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280088693636457
mentalhealth,whatsupnat,2018/03/29,"Anxiety, depression and crystals? So basically, long story short. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My anxiety is a constant battle, my depression is usually dormant but when it decides to not be, it comes at full force. I am on antidepressants and taking Valium every night for sleep. I also see a psychologist once a month and lately we’ve been talking about stuff that I buried unconsciously for a long time and it’s taking a toll on me.

I was told to try reiki, so I started my first session last Monday. Now... I’m debating whether to buy a salt lamp and maybe some amethyst crystals etc...

Has anyone on here ever tried any alternative stuff for anxiety/depression? I’m going through a slump and just want to be on a “normal”/stable mood.

TIA, xo

(I’m in Australia and it’s bed time, so will reply when I’m up, can’t let the Valium window effect close)",3.2492290419161702,5.658481688622758,5.014756736526948,77.69962013473055,76.42514970059881,8.486377245508981,27.203967065868262,9.188382445141503,2.7219464071856287,690,28,123,18,16,234,109,167,0.086,0.8690000000000001,0.045,-0.3095,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,11,5,1,0,9,0,13,2,1,1,1,20,25,16,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,11,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,4,0,1,4,2,10,0,17,17,3,29,0,3,1,0,2,10,0,1,17,81,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069998325827822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413507401509433,0.0,0.3176887174665314,0.0,0.0,0.09679134321214383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924256172534832,0.0,0.14959035770685275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769077226239049,0.14050044210606805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438264265215587,0.0,0.1252151029007512,0.11663067710857905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774589439639707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867122669866967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128364412306209,0.15615163096566834,0.0,0.0,0.14155093682114114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24500699241603044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906847882461518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049107217286178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299043168669584,0.13562902183642958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742018578829075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030835830312873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852692198409156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797930888939048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169314826656815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20815968045600974,0.1112623402527725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143573746692105,0.0,0.0,0.13227288450134336,0.0,0.18796562723441568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245773047970604,0.0,0.08164780262840872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dontOrwellme,2018/03/29,"What are *abnormal* thoughts and should I be worried? I literally created this account to post this. Not really sure if I'm in the right place but a lot of things have been going through my head lately and I felt I need to post this in this subreddit. 
I'm not into getting attention or labeling or anything, but would like some other perspectives.
I don't know what's going on with me lately. For the past two months I have had some kind of meltdown  like once a week. It could be over the smallest, stupidest thing, like the hot water running out while having a shower and I suddenly find myself uncontrollably sobbing, hyperventilating and freaking out. Everything is suddenly ""hyper"", sounds are too loud, it seems like everyone is out to ""get me"". Sometimes it's over a conversation with my boyfriend, I or he won't agree with somethign and I just freak out and start yelling and then it's a massive argument and all that goes through my head is ""if I jump out the window it will stop"", or anything to do with knife, railroad track, razors. It's so goddamn noisy in my head and I feel so stressed or whatever is the best word for it that I even start hitting myself and compeltely losing it until my boyfriend literally restrains me from myself. Then I spend a few hours crying on my bed or buried in his shoulder and then I'm ""fine"" agian for a while. I actually have quite a few ""great"" days after that, and throw myself into my work (new job, just started 2 months ago). 
I definitely feel like something is ""off"" and it helps when I get home from work and do some yoga or go for a quick run but it's like I have no control over myself and at any moment I'll just ""snap"" over something tiny usually. It doesn't make any sense, I feel completely unstable.
It also happens at night, I could be sleeping and my boyfriend accidentally knudges me or I hear the neighbour above and it suddenly feels fucking annoying and I start stressing out how little I am sleeping and then I start breathing too quick and just freaking out again. What the hell.
It feels like I'm losing my mind.
Or is this just normal for someone who just finished college and started a new job?",4.039331358442657,5.9266237985611525,4.6718923684581775,83.41222280998733,72.4052757793765,7.591733671886022,29.05127662575821,8.313332769828598,2.087913020172098,1712,70,327,28,34,547,206,417,0.173,0.745,0.08199999999999999,-0.9919,3,0,3,0,1,0,50.0,0,0,0,7,17,24,3,3,18,0,29,9,7,3,2,86,60,47,0,8,22,0,7,7,1,4,0,4,4,0,29,34,1,3,11,1,2,7,6,12,0,1,4,11,42,12,43,46,8,71,1,3,0,1,7,25,3,16,44,231,71,5,0.0,0.0,0.08277197585670426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518771350388317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783043426812632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536086569062005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395990823883637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901324011349412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893203943025425,0.0,0.09513271744542123,0.13544355837847585,0.0,0.09317066479099004,0.05470181117211765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602273646429057,0.0,0.0,0.08104903843292037,0.07623064665489047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443742114102465,0.12119069072603815,0.08144039458991736,0.0,0.07752384153774207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784146202404009,0.132944672943706,0.0,0.1446152920979216,0.0,0.0,0.0935142266210299,0.0,0.0,0.07500594736620887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26114902872341944,0.0,0.09559817897293038,0.0,0.056852983401466425,0.0,0.08508126405590066,0.0,0.0835305046046742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834130302220054,0.0,0.0,0.08832686153985321,0.046614792542349036,0.0,0.19136105766818928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900709920602331,0.08501181136057145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18978351851031305,0.0,0.07211083609904298,0.0,0.0,0.05661793427713481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856439080528526,0.0,0.13540485170173944,0.0,0.0,0.06289287264733387,0.0,0.16383915391040074,0.0,0.07959771959343225,0.08310548185957597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033041313635293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097018123829715,0.0,0.0,0.0886187305930381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246801379030865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021639221161257,0.0,0.0,0.05433779257396623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243572141564207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721684096840216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976228901651835,0.0,0.07186761635908345,0.13059698833684374,0.08388903866345508,0.0,0.3602157222961235,0.0,0.0,0.07091322485205341,0.19432179162758156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994174120251152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127011301078478,0.0,0.0,0.067337517074197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285670634947805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341712402831903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803739837739557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349977820029895,0.0861387141277673,0.0,0.060253615259315337,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crazy_chicken_lady,2018/03/29,"I saved someone's life today, why do I feel so crappy about it? Our neighbour's (blank hobby block) adult son, a schizophrenic, tried to hang himself today. I saw him step off the ladder and sent my husband (physically better suited) to cut him down, while I called emergency services. I saved his life. But instead of feeling good about it (my husband is), I just feel I didn't do enough, and Ican't stop playing the moment looking out my window, over and over in my head.",6.881,6.662847322222222,6.638888888888893,79.52500000000002,64.66666666666667,8.533333333333333,32.44444444444444,7.554174236665415,2.1823777777777766,369,13,68,3,5,116,66,90,0.115,0.7290000000000001,0.156,0.4366,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,3,0,4,4,1,0,0,13,10,6,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,2,4,0,2,3,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,5,16,5,11,7,1,14,0,0,2,0,12,6,0,0,5,45,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215412114052525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557819474693088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588268246683612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799712348221144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101021265611723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570786758844865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538620407334836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103515150198968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224239365793096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942384549672907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4748772403008664,0.0,0.0,0.17006869494971066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22603149012587306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pachubatinath,2018/03/29,"Hypomania: can it be caused by GOOD changes to my mental health? Recently had a 'breakdown' if you will (to be brief) about three weeks ago and have since (with professional help) turned me life around: no alcohol, cannabis (after 10 months of recent consistent use), smoking (after about 3-4 years of smoking 5-a-day) and replaced with daily exercise, meditation, impeccable diet (of which I'm hugely proud) and good quality sleep.

Now, last four days have been incredible with huge upsurge in energy, insomnia, fantastic mood and massive creativity. It reminds me of when I was 21 (I'm 33) and before I developed all my poor habits. 

I'm trying to assess whether this is something to be wary of or something to enjoy? Is this the result of getting into good habits or  have I developed something more serious?

EDIT: Btw, I had spoken to MH professional on phone who didn't consider it a 'crisis' but recommended a GP appointment, for which I need to wait 3 weeks. ",7.024435736677116,7.977051339080461,7.600929989550679,68.7416144200627,64.34482758620689,11.154858934169278,35.35841170323929,11.022393298168332,4.271581609195404,759,34,126,21,11,251,121,174,0.029,0.862,0.109,0.8927,0,0,4,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,4,0,15,7,1,3,1,21,23,11,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,8,10,2,1,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,2,5,0,10,5,26,14,2,20,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,13,80,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149558555509737,0.180308506905324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019501963640922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356681055425075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332012616657727,0.17848154532741306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176186369132181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814832602114883,0.0,0.0,0.4245386091435919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933961823674432,0.0,0.0,0.11308829165955725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752789849238264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917069495404538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700283207309382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466930357229456,0.0,0.0,0.1251024502095985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331778501700221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395654861959323,0.0,0.1688401039355034,0.0,0.0,0.3896626726500648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454862197185545,0.18351701563155126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457184037165324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706712186809159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086490262668224
mentalhealth,C9012X,2018/03/29,"Intelligent mentally ill employee with bad intentions (long read) I have a troubling employee who I believe is severely mentally ill. She is an 18 year old that speaks with intelligence and respect. She even calls me sir and I'm only a year older than her. There is a certain oddness and charisma laced within her personality. However, something isn't right about this girl. She appears to be affected by some mental illness that I am not able to guess. Theres no way to explain more than 1/4 of the crazy shit that's happened involving her without writing a book. I am going to try to describe a few examples of what I believe to be mentally ill behavior, so if you are not in the mood for a long and descriptive read I am sorry but this post may not be for you. To any redditors who are knowledgeable of psychology please comment your thoughts below. 

One such incident begins when a sexual harassment report was filed where this girl gave detailed claims of an incident that happened and the date and time so we can watch it on video. We watch the video and nothing happens but a conversation then a pat on the lower back then she smiles in the footage. The worst of all she TOUCHED HIM FIRST. However she gave details of sexual harassment that was borderline rape or molestation and she was in tears. This false alarm was ignored by fellow management staff but this was a red flag to me because she fabricated the entire story knowing that we will be watching the surveillance. 

Weeks go by as I monitor her behavior and I notice something else very odd. I notice anytime a manager gives her any type of advice or comment on her actions/performance her face turns red and she begins digging her nails into her hand or arm to the point it leaves indentions. She begins to yell and swear to the point we have suspended her twice and she is about to be fired if she mistreats a manager again, but this has happened other times without report. The other week I told her she could not have a drink behind the counter (this is a rule everyone follows and she has even followed it up to that point) and she began to pout like a child. This pouting was so excessive that I thought she was joking. I ask her what's wrong and she says nothing. Minutes pass and she appears to be holding her breath because she's turning purple. I tell her everything is going to be okay and to relax/breathe which leads her to throw a tantrum of incoherent babbling that I would only expect from someone who is reacting to a death or some other tragic event within their life. 

Mostly she appears to be extremely delusional and a compulsive liar. She tells very wide ranging stories that are convincing and detailed, but after the sexual harassment claim I see through the deception. Probably the worst example of this is an incident recently where she told her roomate's boyfriend (her roommate is also an employee)  that a 45 year old coworker was groping the roomate and they frequently fondle each other consensually. She says this happens openly and the management staff encourages it. THIS STORY IS COMPLETELY FALSE. This is a big issue because the roommate is underage and her boyfriend told the parents. She told very vivid details about such instances that were proven to be false. When confronted for lying by the roommate and the man accused she stuttered and stared blankly as if she is completely void of any thought. Another example is when she told everyone at work that a coworker and her were in a relationship even though they never have talked and at the time she was falsely claiming she was pregnant with another man's baby. 

What on earth might be wrong with this girl? I am the only one who seems to be drawing the connections between these incidents. ",6.385934782608698,7.89299351014493,6.3994384057971025,74.78524456521744,66.07246376811594,9.981884057971016,35.82427536231884,10.174177048904433,3.9596449275362318,3022,148,506,73,48,958,316,690,0.166,0.7879999999999999,0.046,-0.9982,9,0,3,0,0,0,46.0,4,3,3,3,22,27,9,1,51,1,57,12,5,4,3,84,94,50,1,6,18,1,3,1,1,4,5,5,0,8,43,37,1,2,7,7,0,11,9,19,0,4,23,17,77,7,72,55,9,68,0,1,9,1,97,24,1,17,32,378,120,14,0.07023757789233799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863534821721448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616896566436474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329188454789216,0.1473004490946992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566265395327127,0.0,0.0,0.054008361892264864,0.0586454437145137,0.1284485266846228,0.0,0.0,0.1582673961129852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172042006006589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728552818855087,0.0,0.0,0.05607899066330229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880608660931603,0.0,0.0,0.05867448363990532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917377331454672,0.0,0.0,0.1342300312828068,0.06312500606446643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597440478743394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737828483177544,0.1197529024255002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737461070295977,0.0,0.3105542908351566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330978302397262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03860073593827831,0.0,0.0,0.07437145348234699,0.0,0.0,0.04961087843731196,0.0343145327210982,0.0,0.0,0.12431609237408055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831318338434015,0.0745109705913746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417155007989958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478970061129908,0.15993189592391718,0.14740504553133993,0.0,0.095189601085303,0.1602565290407994,0.0,0.0,0.0779905181925021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061328743825915966,0.0,0.07709976857700307,0.19919164169927053,0.0,0.06726818416105551,0.0,0.0757279885568732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051317035684868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693511346441502,0.07540887297663325,0.0,0.05998250774845111,0.0,0.1117114821398766,0.0,0.0,0.055970255890328204,0.06394165297424538,0.0,0.07934847068664519,0.07209786436536929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951207181862265,0.1081446379182123,0.0,0.07862521801527418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645430455769743,0.1227814778489311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900806366356077,0.16728237369879764,0.1228682895139842,0.0,0.0,0.3355750782070171,0.0,0.04768670487319678,0.15279663103728688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386007290620809,0.0,0.0557513200407934,0.11268069663969148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541303730880347,0.0,0.051133793231137384,0.0,0.0,0.04989476012015828,0.1535875306911465,0.0,0.1356920919996531
mentalhealth,KiwiKobat,2018/03/29,"I need help This is a very long story that if anyone can help me or give me suggestions please do. I am a teenage male in 7th grade. I have a lot of mental issues and heard of reddit and how people have helped other people on issues like this. All of the mental issues I will now list ADD, ADHD, ODD, OCD, a small form of PTSD, assburgers, I am bipolar, have anger issues, show some psychopathic tendencies, depression, and have great anxieties. As you can see my brains psyche is pretty messed up. The reason I have made this reddit is because I have noticed something. I feel little to no emotions. I can feel some, notably only rage and can be very possessive. But I have never felt sadness what brought this to my attention was 5 people have died in my town. One was my close freind, another a highschooler that was one of my brothers freinds, and finally family and one of their kids. When I heard this I genually laughed I felt no sadness, no remorse, nothing. When someone is crying because of me I comfort them of course but have never felt an emotion of remorse and I always feel like there is no need for me to comfort them. The reason I am asking for help for this is because my psychiatrist helps with basically nothing and I would like to keep my relationships stable and would like to continue to be a functioning member of society in my future. These issues are concerning because I can snap because I haven't really cared about anyone and it allows me to snap and have no remorse for hurting someone and this scares my for if i wanted to have kids I could hurt them or someone else in my family. So if you know and medicines, advices, or things I can do to help me please do.
",6.007883435582826,6.462556383435582,6.476202453987732,77.66350613496934,66.45398773006136,9.219386503067486,31.637423312883435,9.120678840339163,2.6879366871165646,1335,50,245,22,20,434,157,326,0.139,0.725,0.136,0.2726,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,4,0,7,18,2,1,10,0,40,2,1,5,3,50,59,26,1,9,8,1,6,4,0,3,1,2,0,3,14,16,0,1,10,1,0,1,8,9,0,3,10,9,44,9,33,43,5,20,0,5,1,0,22,10,0,9,13,183,58,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722251577852073,0.07905164664790383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731281391287998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482759507579203,0.061886010595113776,0.0,0.0,0.11313017609143915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756278077274429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465704093606269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903078456733546,0.0,0.0,0.08247991901383238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458970005159226,0.0,0.08886159466722679,0.0,0.0,0.06967649798179533,0.0,0.0839583506677517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757909252927301,0.18199655258414446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525250504964365,0.0,0.12271191522567212,0.0577928581968209,0.23302152077017546,0.08861874797755165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760380769697066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918926703226379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253414652333081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320389892534432,0.0,0.0,0.4221774358239557,0.0,0.07190500198693905,0.0,0.0,0.044458894971796524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808882076165148,0.08108008180467953,0.0,0.07159133057723144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877576652396762,0.0,0.0765467308285605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630503688342033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996825329479352,0.12478556156611408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524577438988918,0.09210181089411204,0.0,0.0,0.1644537742943141,0.061525840721119884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16825145521328602,0.0,0.0,0.17760130371585267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230136792993012,0.0,0.0,0.09456430520087844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051824712313167605,0.1663512513829689,0.0,0.08685314106369384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099204495754496,0.0,0.06446446337581574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563138651828766,0.06227849006113032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537443956456047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349705272433987,0.04771516740183051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493386568442915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DarkAvarice86,2018/03/29,"Trying not to rage at my doctor's office. Apologies in advance. My pulse and blood pressure are elevated at the moment. I'm diabetic, and my sugars are fluctuating wildly with my mood in tow.

Let's start off 4 months ago. I got hired at a new company after being laid off, and things were looking up. Better insurance, polite co-workers, considerate management. A slight drop in pay, but hey, what's that saying about beggars? 

I went to my doc and confessed that my anxiety and depression were starting to affect my productivity and I would like to discuss options for chemical adjustment. I also mentioned insomnia. I was prescribed a couple things. An SSRI for the anxiety/depression, and a low dose (1mg) opiate for sleep. A wonderful thing happened in about 2 weeks. I felt better. I was laughing, smiling, and most refreshingly, I was being productive and creative. 

Fast forward to 2 months ago. I see my doc for a routine check, and drug eval. I tell them how pleased I am with the results. My increased activity was actually helping me lose weight, too. 

18 days ago, I ran out of my sleep and happy pills. A few days before, I requested refills through my pharmacy. They typically send a request by fax, and 24-48 hours later, badabingbadaboom... Meds. Well this time, no meds. So I call the doc's office. ""Oh sorry, we'll get those to your pharmacy."" 

Two days pass. I call the pharmacy. ""Nothing yet. We'll send another request.""

Work all week, during standard business hours. No SO to help with the process. Out of meds. 

Friday. Take off work early to go by the office and request in person that the Rx's be sent. ""Oh, right. I'll definitely send that.""

Saturday and Sunday I check with my pharmacy. Still nothing. 

Go to work Monday and Tuesday. Call pharmacy. Nothing. 

Wednesday. Call doctor's office. I'm agitated. This is what they say. ""Oh, I have a note here from the doctor that says you need to come in before we can fill your prescriptions."" 

So to be clear. I saw them on 2/19 for a follow-up. Ran out of my 30 day scrip that was prescribed and filled from the previous appointment on 2/8. 

They won't authorize another 30 days? Do they expect me to give them a copay every month? So they can bill my insurance almost $400 a month? Also, why didn't you tell me this the first few times I called? Why make me wait until I've been out of meds for weeks before you say it? 

For the first time in my life, I know what auditory and visual hallucinations are. It's extremely disconcerting. I'm having severe difficulty sleeping, and my temper is far too short to be in public or at work. I'm feeling very disfunctional and I just felt like sharing. 

Currently my plan for tomorrow is to call my insurance and find a new provider, I'm also looking into my company's employee assistance program for a referral to a counselor. I just wish it were easier to focus on the positive things. 

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I'm going to try to sleep. Sorry if I don't respond soon. Goodnight all.",1.9066156466665056,4.667107847635727,3.7862922534366534,81.84846796055949,86.11033274956219,6.841551711729003,24.984789962334773,7.996773504094717,2.026747599740901,2355,98,424,53,73,790,287,571,0.068,0.787,0.14400000000000002,0.9942,2,0,1,0,0,0,109.0,3,6,8,11,19,16,2,1,29,0,33,17,5,4,3,63,69,33,0,6,7,0,4,2,0,4,10,4,0,1,21,31,2,1,9,1,5,17,6,6,1,3,19,13,63,9,69,40,6,89,1,3,4,0,49,30,0,7,45,265,84,13,0.0,0.0,0.06154249745625509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771037368003974,0.0,0.06315064651370596,0.0,0.0,0.15129955344897295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225863491970008,0.048244673650259216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099141479430304,0.0,0.0,0.1115520155489734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863794677331969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432504989353028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978039838301027,0.0,0.2033590499724625,0.0,0.10863585724461193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364958613193906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313556201957018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313511603041056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031887639043301864,0.0,0.12110488423191215,0.0,0.057640412364871385,0.10728638323916273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0329489424078548,0.06049784661112782,0.10752414877083127,0.0,0.10087793675935204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055768311402645175,0.06713403393554725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454249279786552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421295526525693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03465896182577368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448839738109863,0.04454478652042472,0.06162090181656004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591769958017527,0.07055378094018312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209648302054832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802046963701633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20135203141327299,0.0,0.0,0.04676201594626565,0.0,0.12181744616344238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153816142771365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506606388240485,0.0,0.06922660594241306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308222484674303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385730079322592,0.0,0.2006077812183429,0.0,0.0,0.05025476626620483,0.0,0.0,0.07124567834300778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524428136898438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119256348334092,0.08927568758896022,0.0,0.05036391705802035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04741715065062276,0.0,0.11024345651032642,0.058061924893216335,0.0,0.0,0.16759075619958178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032140326734988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563420585761923,0.0,0.06160549614732204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203536049604189,0.0,0.0,0.15176119839714802,0.07679637322376329,0.05670315132982405,0.058462033770085936,0.11381299281132855,0.0,0.07252181993660314,0.0,0.0683914742345222,0.2295609325219567,0.0,0.0,0.04479967918424697,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AdrianR154,2018/03/29,"Not sure what to do. I'm 16 years old and was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and depression a few months ago, but I live with my grandparents who believe taking that type of medicine is ""evil."" I understand that taking medicine would help me by a substantial amount, but my family is too delusional to help me get the help I need. This is the reason I have thoughts of self-harm, I can't get help.",7.52348101265823,6.518223848101268,7.347943037974683,77.5583702531646,63.68354430379746,12.456962025316455,34.939873417721515,11.698219412168324,3.9112506329113916,320,12,65,9,4,102,56,79,0.084,0.7190000000000001,0.197,0.9075,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,4,0,8,1,0,1,1,13,16,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,9,1,7,13,2,4,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081698917166674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474150295359053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171069955308734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597229178569448,0.19558651929515666,0.0,0.0,0.2208509801086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166048035477106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013556710297971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5166511919298451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015769619717658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381136098607795,0.0,0.0,0.14288466353508406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20220631252791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981277707202164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102820401001906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643345864242767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161753968816116,0.0,0.28977294838152434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298233433200456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006075734695368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368886040772164,0.0,0.0,0.12409253004669228
mentalhealth,ninjadottoes,2018/03/29,"memory loss I've read that those suffering from mental illness can suffer memory loss. Does anyone have experience with this? Does it affect long-term and short-term memory? And how bad?

In the past year, I've begun to lose bigger and bigger chunks of my life. It's scary as hell.",1.8776984126984104,4.6454147592592605,3.370423280423285,84.63833333333334,86.59259259259258,6.789417989417991,13.269841269841269,7.957251820313856,0.4442730158730157,223,3,41,5,7,73,43,54,0.416,0.584,0.0,-0.9807,0,0,0,1,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,1,7,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,6,1,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21004282686999104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250816869506596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5257545224450676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938434733070845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121775271015537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26583968969820465,0.0,0.3360646202825276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027270139175744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867605514498572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30047580239067895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344421650117746
mentalhealth,sicknotcrazy,2018/03/29,"I have a rare combination of three mental illnesses, and my life is a literal (yes, literal) nightmare. I have a combination of three mental disorders that are extremely hard to treat. As a result, I'm prescribed a number of controversial drugs as an ""off label"" approach - as there is no FDA approved way to treat me. My life is a nightmare. I would like to add that I am an extremely peaceful person physically, I've never harmed a human being or animal intentionally, and never will outside of defending my life in self defense.

1. I have a severe, chronic case of depersonalization disorder [DPD] (feel like you're in a ""dream state"", sense of watching and observing your own thoughts and actions, feeling like you're in a movie, autopilot, etc.)

2. I have what is categorized as severe PTSD, which a PhD in (Trauma Therapy?) from Yale once deemed my case lifelong and hopeless. (I get adrenaline rushes that last for days that are so strong, I can't move, freeze response, but next level. After the rush ends (if I'm not sedated or medicated before the end of the first day), I pass out as a result of all of the energy in my body being exhausted from my core. As a result of the DPD, I am extremely sensitive to trauma triggers. So I can be set off by something that the average individual would consider pretty easy to get over. For example, someone yelling at me and degrading me can lead to DPD, which leads to me feeling like I'm in a dream, leading to me forgetting where I am partially, leading to a flight response, adrenaline kicks in, and instead I freeze.

3. Schizoaffective (most symptoms of schizophrenia combined with bipolar type 1 in my case at least) - I hear voices, they are constantly degrading me. They watch my every move. Comment on my genitals when I use the bathroom, you name it. I feel like I'm being watched at all times, cameras, microphones, delusional thinking that a group of individuals are always watching and surveilling me. If I move to the middle of the desert, it gets better, but it comes back and they ""catch up"" with me within a week or two. I also think they're going to kill me. I'm going to say that they ""hear my thoughts"" but thoughts aren't heard, and they don't exist. So I guess they ""read my mind?"" and comment on my thoughts. They get angry when I acknowledge them in a negative way, even if I just think it. They start threatening me afterward.

*Sidenote: Delusions and hallucinations (for those of you who have a difficult time trying to grasp how you couldn't just snap out of it) are kind of like this - remember I haven't always been mentally ill, so I have a point of reference for the ""sane"" individual's understanding:
You know the feeling when you're in a dream where you hear things, see things, feel things, etc. and you can't control the fact that your mind is programmed to create this ""reality""? (please disregard the practice of becoming lucid and gaining the ability of controlling your dreams for the sake of this example)... Have you ever had a dream that was so real, that just as you woke up, you can't believe that it was an illusion: but then you remember all of the laws of physics that were broken, places that don't exist, and people you don't know, and wonder how you could have ever believed it?

That's what hearing voices while having schizophrenic delusions is similar to. You can't control your mind's forcing the process on you, you believe it, and waking up can be considered somewhat analogous to taking your medication and stabilizing; but it's just harder to believe that it wasn't real, because it happened while you were actually conscious (rather than the comparison and widely accepted unconscious dream state).

Okay, a lot so far.

Finally, the bipolar part:
I have severe manic and depressive episodes for weeks to months at a time, making my med routine and mood unpredictable. So it makes medication constantly having to change a necessity.
So What does this mean? Why do I say that I live a ""literal"" nightmare?

4. Putting it all together:
The DPD leads me to feel ad though I'm in a dream, movie, and I'm not actually controlling, but instead observing every action I take. It is extremely easy to trigger. Simply talking about it triggers it, changes in light fixtures, obviously PTSD triggers or flashbacks, schizoaffective symptoms, etc. There is NO medication that is made to treat DPD, or multipurpose medicine that lists DPD as one of the conditions it treats. It's all trial and error with psychiatrists I've worked with, and only 30% of them have ever even heard of it when assessing me.

The PTSD is horrific and brings the dream state to the next level during my adrenaline rushes; and I ""freeze"" similarly feeling like when you can't wake up from a dream you want to get out of; but very painful as the adrenaline is extremely overwhelming, which causes pain.
Here's what turns my ""dream"" into a literal ""nightmare"" - This obviously goes without saying at the point, but the schizoaffective hallucinations, voices degrading me, threatening to kill me, cameras watching me, etc. is the life I live. When I go in public places, peoples' conversations around me are morphed in to conversations talking about how I'm a psychopath, loser, that they're going to kill me, watching me, ""ew"" ""gross"", ""kill yourself"" - straight out of a horror film like the exorcism of {insert name}.
The 5 psychiatrists I've worked with have agreed that considering the severity of my symptoms combined with the statistical improbability of having all combined that probably under ten thousand people in the United States have what I have, if even that. Some say that's generous (one doctor who is world renowned for her work in psychiatry). Others say [like people who ""victim blame"" me (my former and current abusers), that I'm being dramatic and many people deal with this and have a normal life.
My life is fucked, but I'm super grateful for my talents musically, the people I love, to be able to afford medication in the first place, and to have a roof over my head.

TLDR: Have three disorders:
A. Severe Depersonalization Disorder: (feel like you're in a dream) B. Severe PTSD: (Adrenaline rushes last for days (pulp fiction adrenaline shot, but for 72 hours) and freeze response. C. Schizoaffective: Hear voices, delusions, cameras watching me everywhere, people always find me looking to kill me. D. Combination of A,B, and C make me feel like I live in an actual nightmare I can't wake up from. E. No Treatment for it, so constantly taking strong prescription drugs from confused doctors.
Thank you for reading. Sending Love.

- sicknotcrazy",7.3013141271488475,8.133986633555928,7.399409827189463,70.84721337364077,63.7161936560935,10.682687361819248,35.72174344628435,10.58352841356552,3.998343283851465,5249,234,880,126,74,1693,459,1198,0.131,0.7490000000000001,0.119,-0.9871,2,0,3,0,2,5,227.0,0,24,10,21,42,51,8,2,74,2,76,35,5,26,14,168,146,83,5,11,27,0,15,11,0,3,27,17,0,3,66,47,0,6,31,14,0,25,22,24,0,10,15,42,112,26,145,119,17,132,0,4,9,3,67,58,1,16,53,601,178,15,0.0395392256848951,0.04684751693457022,0.11575374199974856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03161950449508183,0.09869940957348797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035198293662197865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030403223940936863,0.0,0.024102744987687462,0.04366796832977191,0.03364496885626865,0.1781886699756101,0.0,0.034969231997196086,0.0,0.04391916625554107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040617676359366535,0.08365451612077644,0.034059541885231234,0.0,0.12818356919432555,0.17738641477684516,0.031568854373312825,0.0,0.0,0.0764985887046866,0.04076320551955315,0.034055077145005205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18126151261102594,0.0809401458178745,0.034601042846991635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170589784224507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004003618574395,0.0,0.17638675344379195,0.07834585698466377,0.10729647988613482,0.06662700590468926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992220527087246,0.19772781510719936,0.0,0.04331328907571963,0.036138135962524735,0.06726409033789794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036553377019091005,0.10328806749499657,0.0,0.08988421255415745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043556914783631225,0.0,0.03496440669285464,0.0,0.035419379918266075,0.0,0.04057865261958863,0.0,0.22281790485134886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03893817272912629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21872147498340194,0.04117401909084086,0.0434594487926703,0.0644594923266865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756634649038113,0.2124855531282704,0.0,0.1047415820158724,0.0,0.03320299136686065,0.0,0.0,0.033614835741206904,0.07137138979010997,0.037412971361529504,0.07917822051535997,0.04008656891761795,0.0,0.04306980809205214,0.04391916625554107,0.1991580507000876,0.11953871929573273,0.0,0.11977003972652076,0.0,0.0315598327154666,0.12607181858467367,0.0,0.0,0.060990176728272415,0.0,0.08410083015724287,0.0,0.03874004619869568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04210798493368407,0.05358560521457708,0.0300713628391094,0.08414504770283175,0.0,0.0,0.04281712834732625,0.0,0.19188064445974445,0.034524126769020204,0.1239302260365323,0.043402196395383626,0.07475469695879491,0.0,0.0,0.040225607129760185,0.042629972730594316,0.0,0.1848769557632554,0.03974784262073292,0.0,0.0,0.07909985112179696,0.0900085901350668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958046997916883,0.0,0.0,0.15721589626471674,0.0,0.0,0.031507643710054926,0.0,0.04124803557405067,0.2680084237847383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033501457613174544,0.030439227644023806,0.0,0.0,0.0279860674470465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328918435718705,0.0891857309930722,0.0635602637725382,0.0,0.036402406748146696,0.04521655044836456,0.0,0.0788043139151864,0.07600541788476556,0.038847088483795575,0.1255589144777584,0.06916692138867746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02684453881710516,0.04300732357069205,0.038624078219945714,0.04116172836366303,0.0,0.03414919601473833,0.0,0.032624002072736503,0.023321259734964458,0.06276879389840727,0.06343196375019046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03567800124747442,0.0,0.0,0.038114402599679964,0.04287860362482308,0.08635508162552627,0.0,0.0,0.0561750629814884,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,c1n3ma,2018/03/29,"Gambling I am developing a problem, fast. Not in person gambling, but gambling for online skins worth big money. I am still only a young adult and although have not blown big money or lost it all, I keep wanting to bet more. I am currently up $200 from my starting $150, knowing this makes me want to do more, and when I do more and will lose, I will keep going till it's all gone, then I will want to deposit more and more until I ate all my saved money.   

To put it plainly, I need help, something else to put my mind on before it's too late to do something about it.

Open to suggestions ",6.3412568306010915,4.721231868852462,6.848196721311478,82.18027322404373,66.37704918032786,9.116939890710382,32.62841530054645,7.1686216300943375,1.9685038251366118,456,15,98,3,6,150,74,122,0.073,0.823,0.104,0.4126,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,0,10,2,1,1,3,24,23,11,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,5,1,2,1,0,9,4,2,3,0,0,3,1,13,1,15,17,8,20,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,2,10,67,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725260213954219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937230044620788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152279679948338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589960626070904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604285036778676,0.0,0.0,0.11142655272276304,0.0,0.22871176528327086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268263149727537,0.22132647950465914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533775213208707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047205386008086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033716997791066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420114106014546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703420261898895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940051603790006,0.0,0.4076411647579069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31217498593668697,0.0,0.0,0.1435080796706775,0.0,0.16191707321184592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35876307449037953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,victorg2249,2018/03/29,"I need y’alls help with Derealization. my girlfriend recently got derealization and she has been miserable. she doesn’t recognize things and doesn’t seem like anything is real. she experiences it everyday and it’s getting worse, she feels like she’s going crazy in her own mind. she cries about it uncontrollably and she can’t think and gets short breathes. it breaks my heart seeing her like this and i don’t know what to do. please can anyone relate or tell me anything that’ll help ",4.241666666666667,7.046480722222222,4.174444444444447,82.94500000000002,75.1111111111111,7.555555555555558,24.44444444444445,8.515128840125781,1.7381111111111118,395,13,73,8,9,121,62,90,0.14,0.706,0.153,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,10,2,2,0,0,15,20,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,2,15,3,4,17,1,6,0,1,1,0,14,2,0,2,5,44,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581055628752426,0.0,0.3432084495512155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290628194647586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398449660403828,0.0,0.0,0.10544014126228493,0.14897543863652024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789892548704445,0.0,0.11851364954831775,0.0,0.16678224260676627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471116499129409,0.2795494633882313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460383836981967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30563488488867624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105580666680408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154623977033482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890572424520125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23735528641758305,0.0,0.0,0.2059003807137333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617315716024453,0.18983987440749192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822663260190954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853952141095316,0.13361900758031633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125121176322395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Supcailin1992,2018/03/29,"Currently trying to fight off a panic attack at work Hi, I'm just looking for some tips to manage the panic attack I feel coming on at work.  I work as a manager in a restaurant, and I also have diagnosed panic disorder amongst a plethora of other anxiety related disorders.  I've been strong for two years, but my panic has begun getting the upper hand once again.  I don't know what the trigger was, but it seems that this is happening everyday like It used to. 

  It started with me becoming hyper focused on the weird feeling in my hands, a stiffness that was freaking me out.  I have hypochondria that I'm usually able to manage, but the past few weeks have been very rough for me.  I have a autoimmune disease, and every pain I feel lately makes me think I'm dying.

I started becoming dizzy and all of the lights were so bright - I pulled a coworker I trusted outside with me and that helped me to calm down a little bit.  She suffers from panic as well.  I still have that feeling in my chest, however, and I know it's still trying to make itself known.  I've been sitting outside and feel paralyzed, afraid to go inside because I don't want it to begin again.  Does anyone have tips about handling panic while at work? Even just taking the time to type this out instead of focusing inward has helped.  Also, I'm sorry for any formatting issues or grammatical errors, this is basically a stream of consciousness for me right now! Thanks in advance, guys.",6.74131294964029,6.819455604316548,7.188408273381299,74.47203687050363,64.89928057553956,9.971582733812953,33.56205035971223,9.673873057562805,3.2152079136690634,1150,45,202,21,16,377,157,278,0.16899999999999998,0.715,0.116,-0.9015,2,0,0,1,1,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,14,21,3,7,16,0,18,6,3,4,1,36,45,16,1,1,6,0,8,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,16,11,0,1,11,0,0,4,2,14,1,1,6,11,24,7,37,39,4,39,0,1,2,0,6,16,0,3,19,139,40,8,0.0901764380369452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422812983659075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061323070146945165,0.0,0.06898472827449811,0.0,0.0,0.06305346218205121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517743312060666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497071963988453,0.1991855820177734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844931484365822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767901660131975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152718640839097,0.09358890565886914,0.0,0.20670002102109336,0.0,0.078914008614423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059560686849160015,0.0,0.07597753832400743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279795828513845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711346697907943,0.0,0.05124934785322602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928885117596767,0.07974272634381062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088673115686276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412077273644597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099117224055027,0.0,0.10172294991484404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04405565263702516,0.09038048111331183,0.0,0.0,0.07572549643476609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038694524235614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603496346878594,0.0,0.0,0.09595408798292376,0.6348157226242344,0.0,0.0,0.08608361378291372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701018536786472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209324239868028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094513952863857,0.12765469395625842,0.0,0.14403003980391635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780145880759994,0.0,0.0,0.08302234855787706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057781420329095584,0.0,0.0,0.052582606199047685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244776418046215,0.0,0.0880892768131683,0.0,0.0,0.0778834892462492,0.09931660646649043,0.07440500542106405,0.0531883995451366,0.0,0.07233409923434594,0.0,0.08107944755005388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625980835483585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058070669545136275
mentalhealth,MHThrowaway15,2018/03/30,"big old vent i'm guessing i can attribute the majority of the things im about to write to a few main issues lifestyle wise, such as:

1. leaving work to the last minute and getting ridiculously stressed
2. losing sleep due to having to work late at night 
3. borderline dependance on weed/alcohol to have a remotely good time (only used on weekends/holidays)

basically:
I feel like a complete burden to everyone around me. I would consider myself, and others would also as quite a popular person; I get along with people well. Only issue is I'm incrediby introverted (in comparison with others in my peer groups), and I feel like I just get drowned out and nobody really cares what I have to say. I've convinced myself that none of the people closest to me really want me there, and I have at times isolated myself entirely from everyone just to see if that's the case, but I have always ended up spending time with these people again. Despite this, the thought still remains in my head that either:
1. They're just putting up with me because I'm close friends with a few in the group
2. I'm just a clingy fuck they can't get rid of

Over time these thoughts just build and build up until the point where I'm in such a state that I just want it all to go away and have had suicidal thoughts, but I wouldn't dream of carrying these thoughts out.

I would talk to my closest friends about this, but I stop myself before I do as I convince myself that by doing so, I am just seeking attention and am being burdensome upon them.

I've always been a laidback person, but recently I've just felt emotionally numb apart from the thoughts which I have mentioned. People always mention how I look exhausted and ""out of it"", and have had people say that I never express any emotions and that I'm not the ""same"" person anymore. This stuff doesn't exactly affect me in any way, I've just got to the point where I don't really care at all anymore.

I've pretty much stopped eating, I feel completely unmotivated to do anything at all; simply getting up in the morning is a challenge. I've stopped pretty much all exercise; I'd rather just lie down and close my eyes and try to forget about everything and this is taking a serious toll on my physical health. I'm ghastly pale the majority of the time, and I have had a pretty much lifelong battle with accepting my own appearance; I shy away from photos as I don't want to see myself since it simply serves as a reminder of all my flaws which I have tried to embrace, and failed.

vent over
if someone could give me a hand with this since i've honestly just had enough",8.768714481342009,6.772551759842521,8.633361862375901,72.50492810681277,61.91338582677166,11.82690859294762,37.638137624101326,10.472087959537523,3.765498185552893,2066,79,391,38,23,672,237,508,0.121,0.762,0.118,-0.5644,0,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,2,6,27,26,3,1,27,0,34,10,4,5,7,89,71,31,2,11,20,0,5,2,2,4,4,2,0,3,25,30,1,3,11,3,1,3,8,10,1,0,12,11,46,16,73,53,18,62,0,2,4,1,17,38,1,5,21,268,71,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907603082739235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059172187740579474,0.18470434899051574,0.0,0.0,0.10063557570010677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467623776651055,0.0,0.0,0.06088994712052472,0.06586947120096642,0.0,0.0,0.13903774747545564,0.0,0.0,0.045105455453819325,0.0,0.06296260632416738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088162130078814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551605378941939,0.0,0.0,0.0590774019884857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571332720513745,0.0,0.16646436643836096,0.06553584941826733,0.07645456456310447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414069943703659,0.06650015120968436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223927559306413,0.1057212500764035,0.07104489850813067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433364041319707,0.06840535049694611,0.1932914831769809,0.07098084275804059,0.04205193586284716,0.06206183080366112,0.05917897386412151,0.0,0.08151164858950705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593818086047277,0.07865111537808886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992515397572213,0.15445896832911585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603141833264719,0.08346734436210719,0.07834791963757233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229849965676928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062135497379926075,0.08277925763359692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631801403537416,0.0,0.0570679750572593,0.0,0.0,0.06943743259679823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764322277366399,0.0,0.0,0.1125500450399301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25648720169633193,0.19382354120132853,0.0,0.0,0.13989463255579995,0.0,0.0,0.2258324931149244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438341755807225,0.0,0.07870067993552228,0.0,0.0,0.14220546123377534,0.0,0.07305917619539402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768443153214204,0.0,0.0,0.11792570684747115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241557404348592,0.0,0.07404645234356258,0.0,0.06269404189360936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059090917737174266,0.18558442236926895,0.08475874922767647,0.0,0.08470430004239189,0.08093634937475835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563353909107727,0.059472783031346635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915767163568578,0.0,0.0,0.2937109459264652,0.21572961179100286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047280095373354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390620821044958,0.0,0.0,0.13092899285617626,0.05873221159085532,0.0,0.0,0.066528607113882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773559303337593,0.0,0.0,0.1576875456854422,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LocalDrunkenPeasant,2018/03/30,"I think I might become mute I've been suffering with severe mood and personality shifts, to the point where I can't identify with or sometimes even remember my actions at other points in time. I go to a therapist but I haven't had a change to go in the last 2 months and am embarrassed that it will sound like I'm self diagnosing with something, so I haven't been able to tell him, or my friends. They've noticed but think it's just me being a psychopath and I've seriously damaged my reputation and friendships. Combine that with an edge to learn to sign and strong dysphoria about my voice (my shit body image and gender dysphoria along with my inability to tell people how I feel has delayed my progress in diagnosis severely) and I feel like becoming mute would be a valid option that I might choose. I'm not sure what I should do or if I should act but I feel locked in a spiral of hiding how I feel and this could break it. The only problem is I don't want to explain to my parents or the school, and don't want to have to go to special ed to be diagnosed with some stand of autism I don't have. What should I do? ",6.4169068413391575,5.500593510917032,6.8987882096069875,79.59118085880642,65.85589519650655,10.428093158660843,32.62045123726347,9.725611199111238,2.7246416302765644,890,31,189,16,12,292,125,229,0.149,0.741,0.109,-0.6714,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,13,1,1,10,0,27,4,2,2,1,53,41,20,0,9,10,1,4,2,1,7,2,2,0,2,10,16,0,1,10,0,0,5,7,6,0,0,3,6,26,6,28,27,1,19,0,2,0,0,8,8,1,9,6,126,36,2,0.13196133928123405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914818631204817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465792993869995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959759951038264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536039162416022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678759632121657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715922003822353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26689447254077764,0.09427320714963594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195300338442599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249900104913473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075661041595401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289392894961947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27998025459972586,0.0,0.0,0.1053302820296676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502388594055527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003625449290671,0.0,0.0,0.14652745070018594,0.0,0.0,0.09148537717544672,0.11522355147423766,0.0,0.0,0.2494922385901433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262691799239916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948647307994015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355192043227826,0.0,0.0,0.13766445656903994,0.2981575041718425,0.13545641843678607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159028602642198,0.13051313879184878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437200057426105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306800539265405,0.0,0.0,0.15321728582484925,0.0,0.16911099569214424,0.0,0.0,0.07694771813986713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556684338169579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374154926960032,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilikeoldgaming,2018/03/30,How can I get over stuff I’m fixated on? I had a nice vacation and it escalated to me and my screaming at each other. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel I ruined a perfectly good trip by ending it with yelling and screaming.,2.134375000000002,3.6605336875000014,4.577500000000004,83.61750000000002,76.70833333333334,8.133333333333335,28.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.316816666666667,179,8,38,4,4,63,37,48,0.159,0.614,0.226,0.5405,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,10,7,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,7,3,7,6,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204961291681948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400527413441918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480423194284389,0.0,0.0,0.3982058652429212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969203213859157,0.0,0.0,0.5434862080508732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042068104362305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dajvebekinus,2018/03/30,"Autotuning the pain away... One of the sad/funny things about intrusive thoughts, you know, those waves of psychic pain you get in a moment of self-hate, or something traumatic remembered out of the blue. Well, when i get them a yelp, grown, sometimes a howl, escapes me. It's like the thought of this shitty thing that, in that unguarded second, can’t be contained finds its way to escape through my mouth somehow. But when it does happen, I usually try to disguise it into a tune, to harmonize it into something musical, so if anyone's in earshot, they'll think it was my own eccentric way of warbling a tune. Maybe, it’s for me too; my attempt at translating a moment’s pain into something less painful, less candid about the fact that for a moment there I failed to keep the lid on my pain. It’s pretty funny to me and sad in it’s own kind of way, a kind of autotuning the pain away, but it’s a nice bit of therapeutic alchemy in one way or another…

[It goes something like this...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asXtqMtD0P4)",5.632456071846935,6.572007802030464,5.833705583756345,80.22846544318628,67.42639593908629,9.10722374072628,32.412729402577106,9.265573868473778,2.8143068332682537,815,34,154,15,13,259,112,197,0.121,0.7809999999999999,0.098,-0.539,0,0,4,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,2,2,9,15,0,0,16,0,4,7,1,0,1,20,12,9,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,18,5,0,2,6,0,0,1,1,8,1,3,3,2,14,7,32,7,5,24,0,2,1,0,4,13,0,4,8,103,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378435562149742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828525674465303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520413004672432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234416435870137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964463985001142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026315389658704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331391925460908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379397117318317,0.0,0.21977258911220904,0.057992854434990526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310672336824496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601235355155908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301065887167672,0.0,0.6737054847799171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735514801231164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195373457335738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008383167430652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249480141903932,0.10436525709046704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021000366065314,0.0676150796219215,0.0,0.1675474506145172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164340438010315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621902361976613,0.0,0.0,0.3350379840274629,0.0,0.0,0.09487813332684322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cykabornja,2018/03/30,"Is something wrong with me or am I just an edgy fuck Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me, but then I feel like I'm just being edgy and I want attention. I definitely crave attention and validation, if people don't pay attention to me for a second I will make a scene to get attention and I constantly ask for reassurance with things. On the other hand I'm often overly confident and self absorbed (possibly just outwardly) and go through brief bursts of feeling invincible and doing stupid things. I think about killing myself quite a bit, not seriously tho, just ""what if I jumped off that bridge"". I'm also pretty insecure but I come off insensitive to most people so no one recognizes it meaning no one is considerate of me ever, I always feel like people in my life like my friends really just hate me and they are putting up with me because they feel bad. I'm terrified of being left out and I bend over backwards to do anything. I'm loud, obnoxious, self important and unfunny - it's no wonder anyone wouldn't want me around
 I'm a bit of an awful person and I'm a crappy friend too.",3.5717552019583856,5.732917455813958,5.013855569155449,79.27040391676866,74.44186046511628,8.619339045287637,27.1297429620563,9.276330184999452,2.5537441860465124,883,34,164,22,19,295,125,215,0.234,0.555,0.211,-0.9236,0,0,2,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,2,1,14,16,4,1,8,1,12,3,1,1,1,48,36,19,1,5,11,0,6,4,2,2,1,1,0,3,7,17,0,0,13,0,1,5,6,9,0,3,0,7,24,7,25,32,3,21,0,0,0,1,9,13,1,6,7,112,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851729632187847,0.1025063394152618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613932143400152,0.0,0.10137723806656568,0.10966777570099524,0.11516870678107324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102860903490275,0.07509723216858183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689894220809055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611975216172892,0.0,0.13312773103784326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143500688402612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31145009152590425,0.2640270400418306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903570167378052,0.11388982632271358,0.06436319173503498,0.0,0.07001334891438597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162745774889325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629466183601796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384941736889105,0.0,0.08701476970401376,0.2407432608555912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223219957968299,0.0,0.0,0.13419315432318446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695735849791105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562192808864987,0.107567265251949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388814546500291,0.0,0.12533144084994924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384286383207604,0.0,0.13103078493452427,0.0,0.0,0.07892050921162518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25703406857474337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967978515171527,0.12184090179190615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368774209459475,0.07893701894228321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532469705629655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335974161085327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693841357674289,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thecatchupp,2018/03/30,"Years of unexplained fatigue and subsequent depression are getting too much for me, please help x Hey Reddit - not sure if I'm posting this in the right place or not but here goes:

I'm 24/f from the UK who has struggled for years with unexplained fatigue and lack of energy that stops me from doing things I want to do on the daily. I wake up feeling exhausted (and can't even function on less than seven hours sleep), have no energy to exercise, socialise, work, or concentrate on anything at all. My body is always aching like I've already done a workout. My brain is slow and I forget things and repeat myself often too. As a pretty ambitious person who is also interested in my health and self-development I can't explain how frustrating and upsetting this is for me. I feel so limited when there's so much I want to do, and at 24 I shouldn't be spending most of my time at home too exhausted to do anything. I failed my final year of music college because I was too exhausted to get to my lectures or get any work done, then failed/dropped out of a further two courses a couple of years later for the same reason. I try to talk to my S/O about this but he is a bit of a workaholic and has bundles of energy all the time, even if he's only had four hours of sleep and barely eaten all day. This not only makes me feel jealous, resentful and upset by emphasising the difference between us, but also like I'm a burden on him. I know he doesn't mind but I want to be out there doing things like he is.

I've lost count of how many doctors appointments and blood tests I've had about this, and never any answers. They eventually referred me to a Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME clinic, and even the specialists there are not sure that CFS/ME is the case.

I'm sat here writing this in tears because it's been going on for so long now that it feels like it's sending me back into depression because I feel so limited and alone in this. I'm so overwhelmed all the time. I want to be able to work out and keep my body healthy. I want to cook for my boyfriend. I want to not have to struggle at work. I can't do any of these things without having to rest for ages afterwards. Sometimes it's too much to even shower. I only work a few days a week now as a freelancer and financially I am only scraping by because I can't handle something like a 9-5.

I suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time when I was younger and in recent years thought my mental health has been better than ever (have had CBT on and off over the past six years), but recently I've been feeling myself slipping into how I used to feel when my depression was really bad, years ago. I'm haven't self-harmed in years and my willpower to prevent myself from doing that is very strong now, but lately I just want to cry all the time, I hate myself and my body and how I feel like I've tried everything and I'm sick of feeling this way and scared I'm going to be this way forever. I don't enjoy my life when I can't give as much as I want to it. Every day just feels like a battle and like I'm dragging myself along at half-speed while everyone else my age seems to be able to fit a million things into their day and be fine (well, tired, but able to manage).

A bit of background about me and my habits:
- I eat super healthy and drink lots of water.
- I try and do yoga or light stretching on my good days.
- I take multivitamins and have no deficiencies.
- I have epilepsy, however I take Pregabalin for it and have on average only one seizure a year (usually stress/exhaustion related).
- I've seen cognitive behavioural therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, nutritionists, CFS/ME specialists, reflexologists.. the list goes on. I've also had my thyroid checked. No answers.

I don't know what else to do. It's all too much and I'm scared at how much it's started to affect my mental health. I'd really appreciate some help or even just kind words right now as I'm feeling so defeated and I really can't go on like this.

x

",5.393325550020754,5.474042397260273,6.231759806973847,80.18042509858863,67.74221668742217,9.431392694063929,30.92592880863429,9.244229546869796,2.5110581361560818,3147,114,633,55,48,1041,322,803,0.168,0.691,0.141,-0.9884,3,1,2,0,0,1,87.0,1,0,2,14,48,48,5,7,29,0,59,31,8,9,10,127,112,73,0,12,23,0,11,9,0,1,18,0,2,1,31,42,5,5,20,5,2,4,21,28,1,6,17,13,71,20,101,88,22,96,0,12,1,0,19,37,0,12,61,421,102,12,0.1528888143338936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045175569707935376,0.0,0.0,0.052782234265339185,0.05623886947955305,0.1222651295856075,0.04240524706445197,0.0,0.0,0.10396963652788603,0.0,0.03898650816344711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387631148370579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03918735365315502,0.04255192459958669,0.12426613620702925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045072577300205904,0.1112766582645782,0.16982500640896495,0.0,0.056891493387772926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638952168957629,0.05598039448004585,0.1643343951155458,0.0,0.17557721567414442,0.0,0.0,0.05324542341785372,0.0,0.052162726641503086,0.0,0.10430555928408458,0.0,0.04992427755589921,0.0,0.052147808599304936,0.08514599074120546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830269989797875,0.04609889520493873,0.042938473372265834,0.04869727133407811,0.0458022026652152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834523205143226,0.10922379950876314,0.0,0.05582740765219185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987809523635639,0.04888829402959457,0.08689023651006067,0.042745294567535085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031535049524078,0.0,0.16251366023365535,0.0,0.0,0.06831876632674545,0.0,0.05111998218961784,0.0,0.10037645667500147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045298200998883216,0.0,0.05307005765470863,0.0560157959799928,0.0,0.05748841397888134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599663034114474,0.2240812559136924,0.0,0.0,0.09020119303672312,0.0,0.0,0.05563206712384604,0.04332686753031228,0.0,0.0,0.03401815692299127,0.05166842029542542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271731001044086,0.0,0.05145803959182546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247817402957093,0.0,0.039305759636910194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034533805795420404,0.1937980545579291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864989100387974,0.0,0.04449887182662582,0.05324542341785372,0.055942002163115935,0.0,0.0,0.04880840725336614,0.0518476295661628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794448940412714,0.052398388243770716,0.10063950634048448,0.0,0.0,0.0870441413805707,0.0,0.0,0.1020455832116899,0.0,0.0,0.0463947448224297,0.1063309181077876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199948587142917,0.0,0.0,0.03923375958196152,0.05040364891102685,0.0,0.03607182989997955,0.0,0.0,0.04260729823035491,0.058377873420697377,0.10655505630820304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606393209659904,0.0,0.07663557408758524,0.040962079212075835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917189911532857,0.1692875578364018,0.0,0.0,0.04045888024494275,0.1485844952289487,0.058574400407884315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038014690473643,0.0,0.04978338533020371,0.0,0.061302139646825675,0.044015615705760784,0.05612847633993039,0.04204976121246807,0.24047409041791906,0.08090401628647441,0.04087939491584434,0.0,0.04582180176487699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049126453722603616,0.0,0.1855081295534416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953661513230465
mentalhealth,Degrotepompoen,2018/03/30,"Should I get tested for autism? It was suggested by the university after I was asked about anxiety and social interactions following a self harming incident. They recommend going to a doctor to see if I might have an anxiety disorder and offered testing for autism. 

However, I'm uncertain if I need it as I am able to function well enough and do not understand what difference it would make if I did have it; another factor is that it would cost £50-100 which I am uncomfortable spending at the moment (I am a student after all). Any advice would be appreciated.",9.300571428571429,8.045637914285713,10.243809523809528,59.02285714285716,60.33333333333334,14.495238095238097,41.95238095238096,13.348371206891418,5.997723809523809,451,22,74,16,5,157,74,105,0.138,0.787,0.075,-0.6808,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,6,0,16,1,0,1,1,17,25,7,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,3,1,9,1,11,16,2,6,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,5,3,60,17,4,0.2077701775234675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030306128342629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129084545893048,0.21786514694885786,0.3178872342269371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19423706907213034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707561388394853,0.23812262380591065,0.21266158067151514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146821338510802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085513423581768,0.0,0.11808057995220655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868820685878372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220411324703504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405895398729105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556593139063752,0.0,0.21674960814897268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179553086974626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629608221078905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681034178881206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427819186851677,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lost2terrible,2018/03/30,"I feel so done. Is there anybody out there? I feel so very alone. Apologies as this will probably be a super long post. The gist of it, I'm seriously considering checking in to a psych ward/hospital. So a little about me and my situation. I'm a married 31/F with a three year old son, living in a rural area in the Midwest US. About a year ago I discovered my husband has been gaslighting me since the beginning of our relationship. Honestly I had no clue what was going on until I had told an old friend what was going on. They didn't try to convince me but instead told me to Google gaslighting and emotional abuse. After just a bit of reading, I felt somewhat relieved. Maybe I wasn't just too sensitive, as my husband says. As much as I hate to admit it what I'm experiencing is abuse. While I'd like to think it's mostly not physical, He has grabbed me too hard a few times leaving fingerprint bruises, he 'softly’ punches me in the upper arms and tells me to man up if I flinch, say ow or complain. He pretends like he is going to punch me in the face to see if I flinch. My husband constantly puts me down, nearly every moment we are together he has to make some sort of dig at me. He has a gun that he likes to take out at random. Everyday I hear how I don't do anything right (stupid stuff like putting a new bag in the garbage can wrong.. I didn't know this was possible). If it's not done the way he does it it's wrong. When I refuse to do it because I don't do it right, he says I don't do anything. He blames me for everything, stuff that shouldn't be an issue, or stuff I had absolutely nothing to do with. He literally says “everything is your fault, you should know this by now”. There is much more to this issue but the point is I'm not in a great situation here. He has worn me down to nearly zero self esteem. I feel so weighed down. Weak. I am usually up before my husband and go to bed after him. I get so few moments of peace.

Shortly after that discovery I had the horrible realization that I had been sexually abused as a child. My sister has confirmed she has some shared memories. Since then I've been randomly regaining pieces of memories that were previously just black spots. It's f***ing awful. Certain things set me off and I just… phase/space out, or have angry outbursts, or start crying for no apparent reason. My husband doesn't understand this at all. It's a hard thing to talk about anyway and his lack of care makes it worse. Sometimes sex can be difficult for me these days..some things set me off. He tells me that I don't love him and I don't care. If I am having a tough day and just cannot have sex he gets mad me. I guess he kinda throws a tantrum. Stomps around, slams objects, ignores me, looks at me with this look of utter contempt. I try to keep up. I've always been a very sexual person (which is starting to make more sense to me) and I still enjoy sex but some days I just cannot. A lot of times I just go along with it to avoid his angry mood. I haven't really talked to any professional about this abuse yet. I'm still having trouble accepting it, myself. Honestly I don't have a face or name that I can definitively put to my abuser. I remember events but my abuser is just a black shadow in my memory. I have a fairly good idea who it was but my mind just won't let me see them to confirm or deny it. (I can fill you in on my theory on who, if you want but for time sake I'll omit it here) This kinda makes things tougher, I am having trouble trusting male family members and close male family friends. I mean what if it's not my suspect but someone I'd never suspect? What if I'm still in contact with them? What if this person is around my son? I want to talk with my mom about it, I think she knows something, but how the hell do I bring that up? ( She once made a comment about maybe something happened to me that I didn't fully remember. At the time it made no sense now it's burned in my brain.)

Back to the point. I'm having all these issues.. I am so exhausted. I keep thinking if it wasn't for my son I would drive full speed into a tree. No joke. Whenever I say I'm tired of life people think I'm joking. I laugh it off with them and let it go, but I'm not kidding. I have a decent mask but it is full of cracks and about ready to shatter. I'm seriously debating on checking myself into a psych ward/hospital. I'm tired of pretending I'm okay. I'm not. I think I need to be properly evaluated and I think I need to be in a safe place for a little bit to try to begin healing.. accepting… regain some bit of self. I don't know. Maybe it's not a good idea. I'm at a loss. I'm worried if I admit myself, what might happen with my son. I mean I am his primary caretaker (stay at home mom, with him nearly 24/7, even when husband is home I do majority of the parenting) so an immediate issue is what happens with him when I'm in the hospital? Later on down the road would that affect custody?

I don't really have any friends or family to talk to about this stuff. My sister has her own issues and my one old friend who opened my eyes to the abuse has gone quiet with me. I don't blame him. (I am not a huge fan of myself these days either). So yeah I'm hoping someone here can give me a lil.. direction? Advice? Note if you just feel like dumping on me please don't comment. I get enough of that on a daily basis I don't need anymore. 
Also I'm sorry this post is kind of textual vomit. Just all over the place. I tried to hold back some stuff and make it neat but my mind is all over at the moment. Also I hope I didn't say anything to offend! Thanks

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mentalhealth,Sanrawr,2018/03/30,"Losing yourself to anxiety and abuse Today, I went though my Facebook posts from 8 years ago (to delete it all), and I thought it would be cringy. But it was kinda nice to see this other person I was before everything went bad. It looked like I had so much personality, I was inmature and naive, but I was also bold, clever, sassy, brave, joking all the time. And I am sitting now with the feeling that somewhere I lost myself. I feel like a tiny shadow of a person, I have no personality. My last relationship was an emotionally abusive one (just like my stepmother and stepsisters was when growing up...I finally broke the loop), and being an anxious person I put so much effort into avoiding conflict, he made me erase everything that was flavourful with me. All the good and bad. I feel empty. I don't know who I am. And I have no idea how to find myself. I dunno what I want with this, just to feel a bit less alone... Will I ever not be empty again?",3.4833870967741944,5.1744685215053785,4.789010752688173,82.81351612903225,73.46236559139786,7.325591397849463,24.765591397849466,8.021203637495839,1.4148391397849465,739,23,144,11,15,245,113,186,0.213,0.63,0.157,-0.8967,0,2,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,11,15,0,1,9,0,18,0,0,2,4,37,31,16,0,2,5,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,5,11,12,0,2,8,1,0,4,4,6,0,1,13,7,25,9,11,13,7,17,0,3,2,0,8,1,0,2,13,105,36,0,0.0,0.2858940704915605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069463373918354,0.0,0.0,0.12495396672428248,0.0,0.09648140860539796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229466905970568,0.1362968345950623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147050781298576,0.0,0.0,0.10266176018800206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171533990095013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135711701475286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913217103518312,0.0,0.0,0.2168595925271927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440111100290203,0.08619028226245412,0.0,0.13216295473599926,0.11026922520497116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119302809655527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619584314652886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630446782275139,0.09834345472799698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682617509910756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131314288893607,0.13497319745576067,0.13170051554185444,0.0,0.0,0.11415916329856572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773789387538972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175356879610986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5267217868743796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554653153072901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128361611961623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295297892719953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614008491043682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853512181755113,0.0957802875568708,0.07035026967312125,0.0,0.11435930398874128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116076060052433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22368206274884514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857042083912789,0.0,0.0,0.07769274971146321
mentalhealth,znaadchillar,2018/03/30,"My First Bipolar Experience For better or for worse, I’ve been diagnosed with manic-depressive (bipolar) disorder. I began feeling symptoms of mania last April and I crashed into depression around September. Depression broke in early March. I started going manic again shortly after that and was in the hospital again 2 weeks later. I’m okay now, and should be discharged in the next few days.

At first, mania felt amazing. I needed less sleep, had more energy, and became super-efficient with my time. I got in great shape. I could think more quickly. My confidence soared. Eventually I found myself in a state of constant, powerful, euphoria. As this progressed, I became mega irritable and restless to the point where I found it nearly impossible to sit still for more than a few minutes. I had zero patience. If I didn’t get my way with people immediately I’d freak out. I blew up on most of my close friends. I told my mom I had 1-3 years to live because I had brain cancer. I had hoped this would get her to agree with someone of my nonsense. Sadly, it worked. A little. I accused my dad of such awful things that I don’t feel comfortable elaborating on because I don’t want anyone thinking there’s even a grain of truth to them.

Things accelerated quickly. I began losing the concept of monetary value. I became much more interested in the “hidden meanings” behind numbers than their values. I blew over $60,000 over the course of 2 months and I didn’t have much to show for it. I quit my awesome job of 7 years on a whim (I figured I could retire off of 10 grand), started writing a how-to guide on every aspect of life (key word started – like 3 lines), attempted to start 3 businesses and I was planning around 8 huge charity events. I was working on acquiring a commercial property, two houses, a vacation property, and the entire building I was living in. I planned a trip around the world in a private jet (runs about a half mil in case you’re wondering), drew up plans for a solution to the high cost of space travel, (giant space teepee – fucking shoot me), and wanted to colonize Mars before Elon Musk. I was beyond certain I could pull all of the above off within a year, and I’d get downright angry when people disagreed with me.

I’d spend like 8 hours a day on my bicycle because I couldn’t stay still. One night I went to bed at 2am and woke two hours later at 4am. My energy level when I woke up was similar to what I felt when I went skydiving. I simply didn’t need sleep. As this was going on I increasingly lost touch with reality and began having some truly serious delusions that I’ll explain when I think you’re ready. Everyone always wants to hear about psychosis. You can’t handle psychosis – yet.

I finally agreed to get help and spent almost a month in a psych ward. You can’t handle the truth about the psych ward yet either, but don’t worry. We’ll get there. I tried to escape 5 times. I was successful on the 6th. More on that later.

Say what you want about big pharma, but my brain needed help slowing down. At the rate I was going, I wasn’t far from believing I could fly if I jumped from a high enough point. I was so fucking terrified, paranoid, and argumentative that I easily could have committed a serious crime under the wrong circumstances had I not gotten help.

When the mania finally broke I was released from the psych ward and depression quickly crept in. At first, it was mostly a physical depression due to the side effects of the 3 medications I was on coupled with that feeling everyone’s felt after a night of drinking too hard and making stupid decisions. Except in my case my stupid decisions were a result of my brain frying itself for 3 months. Regardless, I was $60,000 in debt, jobless, and couldn’t so much as make a meal for myself, never mind go and work. I think I only stayed at my place two nights or so and moved home to my parents within a week.

I’d wake up feeling hung over every single day. Puddle of drool, fog oozing out of my ears, and nausea the likes of which I can’t accurately explain. I wasn’t sick to my stomach – I was sick everywhere else. I moved like someone who’s just been through their second round of chemo. Driving was torture. I couldn’t handle music or TV – any stimulation was too much stimulation. I could eat and smoke easily. Everything else was a chore.

As fall turned to winter things got worse. Eventually I found myself sleeping over 12 hours a day. Some days that included hours of paralyzing anxiety while half-nightmaring. Other days those hours were extra. I’d go up to two weeks without showering. Same clothes. I was aware I was gross and stunk. I honestly didn’t care. I started researching ways to kill myself. It’s not as simple as you’d think. See, having bipolar disorder is a 1% chance. Celiac disease (guilty, almost died as a baby) is also a 1% chance. So a 99% chance of a successful suicide wasn’t even close to certain enough for me. I wish I could say it was my love for my family or my dog (I actually often wished death upon her – she was too much for me) that prevented me from making an attempt on my life. It wasn’t.  Only the fear of ALMOST succeeding and ending up with massive physical damage on top of depression stopped me from trying.

I did eventually find a method I could pull off that had a 100% chance of success. Around this time I started smoking weed more and more regularly. I purchased the components I needed one by one, days apart, and scouted the perfect spot. All I was waiting for was a good night to go and pull it off. Eventually I was smoking up first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and about 10 times in between. Every time I wanted to go kill myself I found myself too lazy and stoned to do so. I would just put it off. I can always do it tomorrow, right? I’m not advocating for or against marijuana here. All I’m saying is I was too stoned to go kill myself.

The depression broke this March...
",3.9563488587551623,5.784369843342037,5.0746882281928185,80.68491703865917,72.49869451697128,8.040281872034589,27.063280833263146,8.717641300819718,2.121259928689744,4686,169,870,89,93,1543,490,1149,0.154,0.721,0.125,-0.9956,6,0,3,1,0,5,150.0,1,4,3,26,46,55,8,2,59,2,79,28,11,7,10,145,157,56,6,29,17,3,10,4,1,4,11,5,4,0,36,45,3,3,25,4,5,23,22,29,0,14,66,18,128,26,162,74,29,199,0,13,2,3,28,87,2,17,87,582,164,12,0.0,0.0,0.041544327748840086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278897313932403,0.0,0.0,0.03404497432149853,0.07084696441082478,0.0,0.0,0.02895055702148528,0.0,0.032567617778054364,0.0,0.0,0.029767473284187388,0.0,0.0,0.15159314138859845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778548570529701,0.0,0.03622580805899248,0.04796429285162588,0.0,0.03765165281360569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257396972110925,0.0,0.0,0.04340519692538493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600542598991531,0.0,0.2719235114302901,0.047105331448874466,0.0,0.19218883731937444,0.0,0.25667162461988713,0.04320988859140209,0.0441832240845572,0.0,0.09758286286994504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170455026312013,0.0,0.04356199050464376,0.07112722355558994,0.0,0.03770633461051506,0.08797692925344436,0.0,0.056237075434532297,0.0,0.10760674817799387,0.08135912623892871,0.038261149819830934,0.04164378223120914,0.04013328293727973,0.04790556269320888,0.08610313733161612,0.0,0.12262796954475552,0.09327153210714484,0.038910221096676086,0.144847572084432,0.0,0.1867128871655228,0.03289117743133003,0.0787146289514166,0.11121109143665807,0.0,0.19355810643967444,0.03570754296459512,0.06809775749409935,0.04693600267135222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813633069387063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798196537339285,0.0,0.08560574825538292,0.08995973695195178,0.04270338943392095,0.04228380212967709,0.209625215805544,0.04912260491280203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042246341192389465,0.0,0.141299500765961,0.0,0.0,0.06940405284909558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014001014573867,0.0831945093897411,0.042668530225741685,0.07518406812643465,0.0,0.0,0.0476274041589276,0.046472587149807607,0.0,0.03842307416727386,0.0,0.08525182564725713,0.0,0.0,0.04637360812386729,0.0,0.04288701439365575,0.0,0.0,0.042985787750179034,0.04986004810598745,0.10194217571208043,0.0904950260905668,0.156477333362472,0.12626699253139873,0.03283430644684298,0.0,0.045276019482933284,0.19975563689422168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654407695490582,0.0647561555450172,0.0,0.0,0.047271391911505804,0.0,0.0,0.05902840864243579,0.0,0.04447888974907367,0.0,0.08048898232321876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04279682123318217,0.0,0.04528077682772341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635642764436155,0.0,0.1015653705534099,0.0,0.0,0.03392453291627614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278088405157537,0.0,0.07214257670297798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079694090259185,0.09075260520883427,0.06799643054658433,0.03559226688125845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465670789158572,0.0,0.0,0.04424881817499493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141539568207198,0.13639273930768958,0.0,0.0,0.12412096584988655,0.0,0.0,0.040679563119464364,0.0,0.05780746088813438,0.04630633053811239,0.16634742032648028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255509378626346,0.06758366427896104,0.10244655687314896,0.0,0.0,0.07892971498384818,0.0,0.0,0.09791186191396213,0.041038083249761034,0.04616773673907118,0.09297920961820384,0.043234137333907234,0.08676942116193043,0.060484141268273416,0.046546019466758765,0.0,0.08224530633807699
mentalhealth,ohmyhatter,2018/03/30,"Worried about my bofriend's mental health Tonight my boyfriend had quite a lot to drink. He got home and said he needed to talk to me. He said that he can't do 'this' any more. When speaking further he mentioned that he can't do life any more. He said he feels as if this life is not the life he wishes to live in. 

He is reluctant to getting professional help. And I have no personal experience with mental health within my circles. 

I've told him that I obviously love and care for him and that his friends dearly love him (which they undoubtedly do) and we all would be extremely sad if something had to happen.

He mentioned waking up each day that he wishes he just doesn't wake up. 

He works in the service industry and works many hours.

I feel too, that I (our relationship) might be a causal factor. I said to him that more important than our relationship, is our health. I want him to be happy and find meaning in each day. He did mention that he wants to end the relationship because he wakes up each day and just doesn't 'feel' anything. He said daily he just feels emotionless in general. 

If he doesn't want to see a professional. I'll be meeting with one next week to least get some advise. 

I'm a bit lost for words. But I know it's not okay for him to be feeling like he doesn't to live in this world.

He did acknowledge that it would be selfish to go the route of suicide. So I don't have immediate concerns.

Just for context. We've been in a gay relationship for almost 5 years. This is also not the first time I have heard him say things like this before. It does take him a copious amount of drinks for him to say this.

And advise/support/thoughts would be great.
Thanks in advanced",2.9630576747024726,4.823296191740415,3.7624758417251565,88.90805309734512,75.28318584070797,6.9177499745702375,24.963991455599643,7.753152298057669,1.1655280439426303,1335,45,282,19,29,425,164,339,0.061,0.804,0.135,0.9717,0,0,3,0,0,1,34.0,4,0,1,6,9,14,0,0,11,1,33,14,3,0,3,53,66,17,1,12,11,0,5,2,1,4,6,9,1,1,20,15,2,0,9,2,0,2,11,3,0,2,14,15,28,11,39,41,12,27,0,2,1,3,62,13,0,7,14,168,48,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500811470908286,0.0,0.0,0.06788893175850468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546035379214245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985973685758097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051750007971069566,0.0,0.07223772260743412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268121031126368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655410999006476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424695930963054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429046957323081,0.0,0.0,0.16632571610102292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751900340139227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304168078855953,0.0,0.0,0.2146223536291519,0.060647603256847885,0.0,0.0,0.0775906986974135,0.07220997469232525,0.0,0.0,0.06558815051543111,0.0,0.08870621697093739,0.0,0.04824666981423812,0.0,0.0678967175561174,0.09359487401229354,0.0,0.0,0.07507063307450068,0.09037021745197577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707119886141155,0.0,0.0,0.056902013853436725,0.0,0.08515463879511899,0.0,0.08360254195696502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665499349945122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798873898178396,0.08294890043544327,0.0,0.14992421560262825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926707791834686,0.07217302504101855,0.1532385623476189,0.0,0.0,0.08606821596790228,0.0,0.09247340554840193,0.0,0.0,0.1711044303478217,0.09005809770406761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294711194643687,0.0,0.0,0.09028470892494099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752571954782591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741253262399649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902941955250118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645734096004064,0.0,0.0,0.403763596889053,0.1350207022317841,0.0,0.0,0.06764876008844181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535480809410367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285920479356022,0.09633561341054164,0.0,0.0,0.06382899945151259,0.06823380819388829,0.0,0.07815810358301649,0.0,0.0,0.05639916221643102,0.0,0.0,0.06739558946898043,0.04950181310644465,0.0,0.0,0.08111893574961991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021633981477747,0.0,0.06809607435522019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524560803171506,0.0,0.0,0.12360628536282785,0.08621300082009445,0.0,0.18091673532739044,0.0,0.0,0.054668333096838856
mentalhealth,Jeru1226,2018/03/30,"Managing anger So, I don’t know how to control my anger. 
My parents are good people, but my father has PTSD and is a functional(ish) alcoholic and my mom has some odd avoidance and dependency behavior. The combination makes their relationship rather dysfunctional. 
I have always really played peacekeeper... just to get them to talk to each other. I understand the unfairness of the situation, but I can’t fault them, they have heir own issues, and I do truly think they tried their best with me and my little sister.
My dad and I had a difficult time with each other when I was a teenager; when I got my first serious boyfriend at 17 and he found out I was having sex with him, he essentially stopped talking to me for a month or shouted that the house wasn’t a hotel. 
My mom was very open with me about safety and was easy to talk to about for adolescent things, but in this case, she essentially wedged me into her overall outrage at him about his sexism towards her and his deficiencies in their relationship.
When those conversations too heated, I left the house and then got berated that I was a bad example for my sister. So I’d come back, feeling like I was still incapable of expressing my outrage and trapped because I was causing people pain. I didn’t believe I did anything wrong—my partner was a good person and we were safe. I would have been open about anything they asked about. My dad was never going to take responsibility for calling me a slut, and I didn’t want to make my mom feel bad for defending me however poorly. 
I needed to keep the peace just to live my own life. But I’ve sacrificed a fair bit just to keep people I care about happy, even if it makes me feel horrible.
So in the meantime, as an adult, I’ve realized that getting angry is really difficult for me. 
On rare occasions if I’m angry, I feel like I’ll tear apart a room or assault someone. That scares the hell out of me, and I know it’s not something I want. 
Every time I get angry, I get worked up, cry, then feel exhausted. I then try and work on the problem carefully if I can. I don’t really shout when I’m angry, I get despondent and disappear. I can’t use anger to help me solve something—which is part of what it’s there for. 

TL;DR
Does anyone have recommendations about a safe environment to practice being angry so I can learn to control it and express it in a healthier way?",6.598684166805112,6.412696215982724,7.258239740820732,74.7420497590962,65.24190064794816,10.751586642299383,32.926482804452554,10.389873798559362,3.2760962618375142,1880,70,360,42,26,624,228,463,0.229,0.643,0.128,-0.9962,2,2,3,0,0,0,49.0,1,0,8,6,25,30,7,2,22,0,36,6,0,9,1,78,70,39,0,9,14,9,5,2,1,1,4,2,1,3,15,30,1,8,12,2,1,3,9,19,0,1,19,7,69,11,51,49,8,38,1,0,0,2,41,19,1,7,17,250,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406382342099474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732375204249428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154380645041482,0.0,0.144861626819911,0.0,0.08228437932041979,0.0,0.0,0.06767994086227802,0.1469816903670542,0.05365458474253465,0.0,0.0,0.09916545914427824,0.09236882184855214,0.0,0.09609219491263386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987559737445394,0.0,0.1794791928098948,0.09041810629377504,0.0,0.0758191889474238,0.0,0.0,0.19743797705781155,0.0,0.0,0.09668297128176864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702461219924757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581346567919615,0.0,0.07415844826555365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225211881489024,0.12575928375490494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748675480118109,0.0,0.09650652643414948,0.0,0.0,0.2299272706546047,0.0,0.050022311794430924,0.14764962360445127,0.14079109660780012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093696149635165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899620201076852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312050406371687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186728880217172,0.0,0.1564678029502597,0.0,0.0,0.09674411272663504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563115310077447,0.0,0.06216928640533024,0.08600170284421264,0.08821654900524108,0.07772096900454832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625687632569015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092547144610999,0.07025464194046084,0.0,0.0,0.06526378032861409,0.0678844382123471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365670995030878,0.0,0.0977328967987629,0.09531425746391788,0.0,0.1830605299558212,0.07685339102814487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422075639346557,0.10288762021720606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691585838974774,0.0,0.0,0.18899547717186094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812076337371913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893523552040924,0.0,0.0,0.07457684995724498,0.06776008790525218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029080232854397,0.07358648022152668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617812430129366,0.2122351350800672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584748437186939,0.05639799031013715,0.0,0.0,0.10264729728017287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951606205620173,0.0,0.0,0.09162920836467124,0.0,0.0760187660118459,0.0,0.07262356568708034,0.10382987559230424,0.06986410828163335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815541818693746,0.0,0.0,0.06252502938352404,0.09623320010237953,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HiddenShadow19,2018/03/30,"Feeling frustrated due to diagnosis and security clearances. I was recently in a mental hospital for three days voluntarily for depression related to my bipolar disorder. 

I was diagnosed in 2012. 

Unfortunately, I just learned that I am pretty much disqualified for applying to any job requiring any secret security clearance.

This is really devastating to me. 

Anyone have any similar stories or anything?? Want to vent?",7.538400852878464,11.297073373134324,9.629424307036249,43.072238805970144,69.0,14.574840085287844,45.39232409381663,12.28987398476788,8.66638763326226,344,24,39,18,7,122,53,67,0.246,0.622,0.132,-0.9068,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,8,7,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,6,2,10,5,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,29,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377225796276526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429861310891016,0.0,0.21690076106293674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699848490657754,0.0,0.2270178017570042,0.2675243029181177,0.0,0.0,0.30208116957782266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327205036052214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615587159968705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656228239117352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375884037160354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268151760927031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885366812061056,0.0,0.2602497073621305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554640765220606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shutaway,2018/03/30,"World Bipolar Day - Don't be scared Happy World Bipolar Day, my crazies! Let's all throw our meds in the toilet in celebration!

No, don't do that. Get you the help you need. You deserve it.

I've been on mental health meds for three years, and bipolar meds for one. Every time I started a new med, I was worried it would change my personality or destroy my creativity, or cause me to grow an extra limb, of something. 

While there were some... interesting side effects, I knew that even though my emotional self was changing, *I* wasn't changing.

Not all people need medication. But A LOT do. 

MANY people have ""reasons"" why that won't take medication:
-They think it makes them weak.
-‎They think the whole thing is a ploy by Big Pharma.
-‎They hate the thought of being chained to meds their whole life.
-‎They think it'll change who they are.
-‎They're worried about the cost.
-‎And many others.

Well, fuck that. Fuck all of that. It's bullshit and you know it.

You know what taking meds makes you? A smart motherfucker who has taken the time to figure out their own shit, and realize they need the help of medication. 

Meds aren't the answer for everyone. Many people can control their mental health through therapy, meditation, lifestyle changes, etc. AND THAT'S AWESOME! 

But there are a lot of people - ya boi included - who know their brain chemistry is well and truly fucked without their meds. It sucks, but one can't control your brain chemistry through force of will alone.

Most people in my life forget I'm bipolar because I've worked hard with my care team to figure out the right combo of meds (3 meds, 4 small pills a day, about $15 a month total), that help me control my emotions.

Yep, control. Because even us medicated legion know that pills alone can only get you so far. But they can take you very far. They could be the reason you get off the couch and go to lunch with a friend. Or write for the first time in months. Or finally go on a hike.

Meds can help you take the steps -maybe even the first step - you need to get your life back. 

It may take a while to find the right med or combo of meds, and it might be mildly unpleasant while you and your care team figure it out, but in the end, you'll find something that works for you and all the unpleasantness will have been so worth it.

The side effects I have from my meds are mild - I sweat a bit more (common side effect) and I have mild tremors in my hands at times (SUPER rare, yay me ;) - but the benefits make the side effects nearly invisible to me.

And just as importantly, create a healthy network of support. I'm grateful my life is filled with caring people. My family and friends totally understand, support, and help me when I need it. I mean, it helps that they're all just as crazy as I am, but still. 

Lean on them when you need to; buoy them when they do. Cut the assholes out of your life. You don't need them.

And remember, if someone in your life asks you if anything is wrong, yes it is annoying, but they're just trying to help. Don't get angry. Maybe even listen to them? An insane idea, I know.

This has been long and rambling and disjointed - I'm bipolar, what did you expect? - but I hope it...I dunno, helps? Informs? Destigmatizes?

Anyway, if anyone - ANYONE - needs to talk about any of this shit, feel free to send me a message.

AND GET THE HELP YOU NEED.

DON'T BE EMBARRASSED. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

You don't have to ""just deal.""

Happy World Bipolar Day


*Post not sponsored by Pfizer",2.307961309523812,4.83727696875,2.7824404761904766,91.73755952380957,80.65178571428572,5.519047619047619,21.684523809523807,6.816661863887847,0.4749827380952385,2721,83,550,30,72,839,290,672,0.101,0.732,0.16699999999999998,0.9949,0,2,2,0,0,0,131.0,2,26,16,15,26,33,10,3,37,3,56,31,6,14,7,114,112,46,0,16,24,0,3,0,2,8,21,1,1,2,33,24,1,4,29,2,3,8,14,15,2,5,11,4,73,19,64,85,18,66,0,0,0,3,70,30,6,16,27,345,106,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226519699870524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027007454149103497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055539081286810316,0.0,0.032681930690185594,0.0,0.03712801576055851,0.0,0.0,0.030538261718220695,0.0,0.04841959760526965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335832094315333,0.0,0.0,0.08866979536273711,0.0,0.0,0.1214757835151663,0.04079808225134228,0.21006518191707452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17817428737938054,0.031709069369401745,0.0,0.0,0.10245114914903128,0.04094425778818815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934770259457714,0.03517556164354568,0.0,0.04429254649735511,0.10492511319562056,0.0,0.033461466911724795,0.0379492330644673,0.0,0.0,0.03743961810396874,0.0,0.020081017196420425,0.0,0.0,0.043505667696322484,0.07259729140410476,0.06756284790610499,0.0,0.0,0.06136717616365224,0.11014719323144884,0.1244961933113039,0.0,0.04514171938882964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455437469635903,0.035576697258895014,0.03921018386358833,0.0,0.08443003888325071,0.0,0.0,0.23958019037676564,0.0,0.0,0.039445798794804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044833222027983184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913119147647207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04061111627050528,0.1683106026594503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035146385038294384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752827617717065,0.0,0.0,0.07952989542090468,0.1207938475902946,0.07979779279377032,0.043261105276985234,0.617599302833344,0.16003409868335242,0.08004643854887879,0.04213117082382633,0.0,0.0,0.06340001528262164,0.0,0.0,0.2650324662082953,0.0,0.0383568414693584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038107461603811364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053823608955122566,0.030204926635027145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651996234879359,0.03467746778807169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038035840030060115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816669432676722,0.0,0.0,0.044989173555730025,0.06783251540905365,0.0,0.0,0.039761484723990256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04143124124500402,0.0,0.08153342831269103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033650256384667995,0.061148850667910676,0.0,0.0,0.028110369276033657,0.0,0.031716323781381964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013586314813543,0.0,0.0,0.1493030914467191,0.031921285284344444,0.0,0.0,0.04541738252067542,0.0,0.026384776030571475,0.07634300059351468,0.03901963020150916,0.03152914801754509,0.09263217399638883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026963770476915762,0.0,0.0,0.041344550695866615,0.04777206445199583,0.0,0.0,0.032768903571819746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141682426843741,0.0,0.03583646727054316,0.08868040463340447,0.0,0.038283690048259766,0.0,0.05782575533221275,0.08066469884189043,0.0,0.028212283978482605,0.04342194471901985,0.0,0.02557505587032544
mentalhealth,onelongclimb,2018/03/30,"My thoughts on this, #WorldBipolarDay I am a warrior. Routinely knocked down, starting over has become the norm.
I am a survivor. Vast amounts of time spent utterly hopeless, I remain resolute until light eventually appears over the horizon. 
I am human. I, like you, want to be loved and respected.  💪🏼",3.0330660377358503,6.137050679245284,4.137146226415093,77.20119103773584,89.37735849056602,7.178301886792452,34.926886792452834,8.07648339933343,3.8111905660377365,238,15,37,6,8,77,44,53,0.057,0.6729999999999999,0.27,0.8852,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,11,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,3,7,8,1,9,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,4,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5459570815642144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415083993174851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461590173228233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498947235754895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924488654645741,0.2882522512991009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915731459533356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DealingWithOCD,2018/03/30,"Sometimes we lose It happened Monday. I felt it starting to creep it's way in on Saturday, but I ignored it with benzos and video games.  So it waited. It sat there like a lioness rocking on her haunches hidden in the grass.  By Sunday I was fully aware but I just turned my back and kept pretending.  Monday morning it's talons were deep in my brain. By lunch I was hamstrung.  I managed to mumble something to my manager about not feeling well. I made it home and went to bed. Called in sick half way through my lunch break and caved in on myself.  More benzos more video games. I was mad at the world.  Tuesday and it was still clinging, dragging me back to its pack so they could all feast.  But midmorning Tuesday something changed. I surrendered not to the intrusive thoughts and the guilt, but to the idea that sometimes we lose. This is a mental disorder.  I can't beat it everyday, and my need to do just that, is the disorder itself pulling my strings.  Making me waltz like a good little marionette. I have OCD, and most days I'm lucky.  It's a thought here, a compulsion there, but I move on. That's winning, but I can't win all the time.  Sometimes I lose, and that's ok. ",1.7503596403596404,4.2611604545454576,2.586688311688313,92.34179070929072,82.98268398268401,5.631768231768232,24.9019314019314,7.010146845296331,1.0601613719613718,919,37,186,12,26,288,128,231,0.155,0.75,0.095,-0.9305,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,1,6,12,14,1,1,12,1,12,4,1,2,2,38,27,17,0,2,10,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,18,12,2,3,5,6,0,3,4,6,1,1,12,2,27,8,23,14,5,32,0,3,0,0,7,13,0,2,15,126,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076910886505376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507610886568518,0.1379017211303563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286558522058682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782688284934537,0.0,0.0,0.08709643862753508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30955928356283274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828562085847703,0.0,0.1296697161796806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327400214360366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942476403433933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546672284545833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524556436221023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195776371806772,0.13535613999113155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532610955177057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778810508422692,0.0901472973622454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609920006428938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353737233519792,0.0,0.10013827888444732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079370378401401,0.4007053706769439,0.0,0.09558948133948043,0.0,0.10785155152131487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144301184006427,0.07874906747678892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468962283357722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143936965922916,0.0,0.0,0.1214266721951792,0.12519322196348465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leastfavoritechild,2018/03/30,"My biggest fear. Not being believed. I have been so tired for the past month. Abnormally tired. 31F with no children. I am overweight and not in great shape. I understand that will affect my energy but I went from 8 or 9 hours a sleep to avg 14 hours. All my test re norm. If my vitamin D and b12 are a little low.

I have missed weeks of work. Small tasks wipe me out. Going to the store. Doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen. Those call for 3 hour naps to recuperate. Also I have a stiffness in my jaw, which could be related to stress clenching.

My boss is at least pretending to be understanding...I am not sure he is being sincere.

My husband says he is ok with me staying home as long as it is legitimate, but admits he is worried about me losing my job. He has been patient and understanding but part of me is afraid he is growing resentful.

I have looked into fmla, but my Dr office who I have been going to for years, keeps switching out physicians and the last was not open to discussing it. She wrote it right off. Then asked how my marriage was going because she is putting me on the same meds she is on because of her divorce.

So I switched Dr's because that is not the first time I have had a problem with that office. The new doc said they could not give me fmla for before I was their patient and they cannot give it to me now until a month from now to see the prescription They gave me works.

I am so afraid of being fired. Letting my husband down. Proving my in laws right, I will only hold him back. Failing in front of my parents again. Losing our apartment. Not being able to buy a house like we planned this year. Going back to living in a roach filled crap apartment.

I just want someone to really believe me and I want a real break. Without having to call in from work, without having to worry about everything falling while I get myself straightened out.",2.3614247311827974,4.5866119704301065,3.3803225806451636,89.23215053763441,78.48924731182795,5.638709677419356,24.580645161290327,6.691623216298621,0.8620612903225804,1471,53,292,14,36,471,205,372,0.14,0.792,0.067,-0.9828,2,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,2,0,4,8,13,17,2,4,16,1,43,12,3,3,3,53,64,23,0,6,16,3,1,1,0,2,8,2,3,1,11,16,2,3,4,2,2,10,11,12,0,1,11,5,50,5,51,42,4,59,0,5,2,0,34,25,1,2,23,210,61,7,0.09691820192106962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750545106069746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060543580063694,0.0,0.0,0.1490482297474478,0.0,0.17724130898657026,0.0,0.08247025147196163,0.2183872495932621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979286405319983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547625958562163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710383056492171,0.0,0.0,0.10905992202523254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243857304337543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506357603524916,0.1859455411298775,0.2203233905303344,0.0,0.0,0.10685265976928872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721685875399956,0.0,0.28633471862151066,0.1118305925300393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617636068277537,0.08614535098983439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900127006576728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910542787337248,0.0,0.04734933793116088,0.097137499650126,0.085580547920076,0.08576955886219287,0.08138688014080843,0.21685335446746434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076542736896758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471836823963264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360420335091138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737106598624147,0.0,0.0,0.10761619373743138,0.10495296807068792,0.09251939025679476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273763014939028,0.0,0.09742956191766683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031413188085988,0.06208828188303155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553522977706991,0.09219140407185854,0.07707324417942091,0.0,0.0,0.07723125888918944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969881950874114,0.0,0.08211847797626945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330190787076643,0.0,0.0,0.11101947284816198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134425833080173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056513782935709626,0.22278643172962626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179053240760475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432973311414472,0.0,0.0777419355652619,0.0,0.0,0.08984414416274664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18685137623562054,0.0,0.2116728158662576,0.19685027714464295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248242888982019
mentalhealth,dunno260,2018/03/30,"When to Give Up on Therapy in General? At what point do you call therapy quits for not helping.  I have felt like all but one of the therapists I had were qualified and I meshed fine with them, but I have given five therapists a go at this point.  Anybody had something work after that many failures? ",4.9848275862068965,6.083604896551732,5.527068965517246,81.26232758620691,69.0,9.937931034482759,31.74137931034483,10.125756701596842,3.19388275862069,236,10,46,6,4,76,48,58,0.099,0.8340000000000001,0.067,-0.4318,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,8,10,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,1,6,2,10,5,1,10,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852335750977933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205478666362246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529340196778928,0.12162415430939988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434432540126041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104552188837064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21696780358767245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501554237800035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.404608397399744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276209987561932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475174960475147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4894674651130412,0.4969533386837784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579842072482006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erinbeihl,2018/03/30,"MoleHillMountain Don’t let someone tell you, “you’re making mountains out of mole hills.” Do you think a caterpillar and a bobcat have the same capacity to climb a mountain? No. Such is the same with our own mental capacity to deal with something. People will have different feelings about a situation based on their memories, experiences, and personality. Don’t let people diminish what you feel. You are valid and so are your struggles. ",5.937255639097742,8.861778815789474,6.344285714285713,68.915,70.05263157894737,9.606015037593986,31.90977443609023,9.957137785484203,3.850445864661655,354,16,55,10,7,114,55,76,0.069,0.931,0.0,-0.6077,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,1,5,1,1,3,1,0,1,6,0,11,0,0,1,0,12,15,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,8,12,3,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,0,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24783678438552875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25116170590274844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351525284115456,0.0,0.0,0.24310196340093804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49164053816076003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604655907681442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422617114479856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333319376787445,0.20990372207229985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27021415583638153,0.0,0.0,0.20368598154270687,0.18506788664731716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513131457788158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011590645965228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540354683784867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,my_random_thought,2018/03/30,"What's the deal? Honestly? I honestly don't want to do anything... I don't know how to write this or state it; I don't know if I'm depressed or what ...

I am a 25 year old male; I spent the last 8 years of my life in the military as an infantry soldier. During that time I also went to university and maintained a 3.77 GPA across various classes from humanities to hard sciences like the infamous human anatomy and physiology courses. I was admitted last year to one of the top universities in my country (Canada). So I left the army at 24 and went to peruse a degree; but they fucked me (literally due to them over enrolling to many students; thought they claim my admission was caused by a ""computer error"" and I was admitted to my secondary faculty choice dispite multiple email and all of my university paper work confirming it was to study medicine). So now I'm in a program I hate but can't just up and leave and I already quit my job. But in Canada basically their is no legal outlet as a student for me to take because fuck it; the laws give universities absurd power over students; my freedom of information request is literally just black page after black page of redactions.

I literally feel nothing ... I just don't get it anymore. I don't want to keep going because I honestly don't have any end goals anymore. I hate everyone in my life, I can barely stand talking to my own family and just sit around and waste time. 

The only time I feel even the remotest sense of happiness is when I'm going to sleep; because I always secretly hope that I won't have to wake up.

I literally don't know what to do ... I'm worried I'm throwing my life away but I literally can't care enough to get out of bed most days? 

Then throw into the mix that lately all I've been able to dream about is going to prisons and getting stabbed by gangs. I have no idea why? No criminal record nor any reason to suspect I would be going to prison. 

Also I feel lonely I suppose but I hate talking to people b/c I'm awkward at times these days . . . I wasn't always awkward I just don't feel safe around people anymore ... I don't trust people either ... 

I know something is wrong with me ... But I have neither the resources (or honestly desire) to talk to a professional because it would fuck up my life if I ever tried to reapply for the army or something similar. I literally feel like I don't know what I'm even doing minute to minute anymore ...

Anyway thoughts? Before I get to head back to bed and hopefully I don't have to wake up again ... 



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mentalhealth,Mlawless,2018/03/30,"I am afraid of my own health, what is this called Male. 26. USA.    
   
I do not know if hypochondria is the proper term for what I experience:    
    
When I was 16, I had the flu, and I got out of bed and when I stood up I passed out. It was just from dehydration, and a drop in blood pressure. The ambulance came, I went to the hospital, it was scary because I had no experience with anything ever being wrong with me. Little did I know that this single event would change my life forever. A few months later was when I first experienced symptoms of panic. It was scary. This feeling made me fear being in public and having panic. It also made me fear being “stuck” someplace, which meant I always had to be the one to drive, that way I could tell myself “I can leave if I start to feel panicked”.     
    
Over the last 10 years that anxiety has morphed into a full blown “im afraid that my body can’t perform normally”. Unsurprisingly, over these years I’ve developed heart palpitations (skipped beats). Well, I’m afraid to exercise, or do any sort of actions that get my heart rate going, because I’m afraid there’s something wrong with my heart and *I’ll die of cardiac arrest or something*.     
   
I get short of breath easily and I’m afraid I’ll *go into respiratory distress or won’t be able to catch my breath or something*.     
    
I am afraid of myself. Of my own health uncertainties, not so much “every spot on my skin is definitely melanoma and I’m gonna die” but more specifically, I am afraid of myself having an acute emergency or pseudoemergency like an episode of SOB or tachycardia with skipped beats that don’t go away and I pass out and it’s a whole emergency and it’s embarrasing and stuff.    
    
I have had a few cardiac work ups in the past. A holter, a stress test, 3 echos. EKGs. “Everything is fine and you just have anxiety” doesn’t keep me from thinking “well what if they’re wrong, what if I’m the exception, what if my condition is not like the others who have benign palpitations”.    
    
I love life and I want so badly to be a normal functioning adult who can run without wondering how his heart is going to act.    
    
I think if I can first define this condition maybe I can find more resources to help me cure it. ",1.9294252364066224,4.404338155092597,3.2909771473601275,87.83897163120567,81.80092592592592,6.546966115051223,21.92297084318361,7.7686606220802235,1.0447568360914103,1721,55,351,31,47,560,217,432,0.15,0.777,0.073,-0.977,0,0,3,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,0,6,13,26,0,14,19,0,43,17,9,3,1,63,74,33,2,11,20,0,3,2,0,3,7,0,1,2,28,23,0,1,9,1,0,13,9,19,2,3,18,4,45,7,42,46,11,47,0,1,0,1,11,17,1,14,17,233,73,2,0.08809002599986801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044556196604464,0.07329795837674223,0.0,0.0,0.059904238415615325,0.0,0.13477725755378986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249058564124164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827634791732103,0.0,0.07355149218704563,0.10739772445491733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784816041102,0.0,0.0,0.0899497656012118,0.1007515222931558,0.0,0.0,0.09318756718724452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033271781024134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284707873272427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968247176604604,0.0742196461965566,0.0,0.0791696352910152,0.17233789715720862,0.0,0.19825153946975504,0.08908192790932659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080512687878501,0.14985866222935415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204680560637547,0.0,0.20025436724468312,0.0,0.0704536409691159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727115672507075,0.0,0.4175484197871288,0.059044887569656736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951523444042134,0.0,0.0,0.07829846260088888,0.0,0.0,0.09682394907264899,0.07180512840904374,0.0,0.0932746183382071,0.0,0.0,0.12444118099054882,0.08607267420890395,0.0882893481320514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795046877291191,0.1667058250575953,0.0,0.0,0.08849827122110596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031261832522437,0.0,0.06475630487820118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726190443928135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969208140530233,0.0,0.0,0.2067093309088975,0.0,0.0,0.08409189741108063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344801711195207,0.0,0.0,0.062350573799582136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090682715771844,0.0,0.10084200441577792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155926608240844,0.0,0.0,0.07699456544894911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288906348272433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051957779668596576,0.06992176238549071,0.0,0.0,0.15840702512141785,0.08166033663808292,0.0,0.09834936815266317,0.0,0.0849156415639643,0.0955298755279284,0.06413058807505001,0.0,0.0,0.0625766270439884,0.2889378444807074,0.0,0.11345417719792845
mentalhealth,Baron_Biscuit,2018/03/30,"Been feeling mixed for a while now and not sure what to think of it Im a 24 y old male from Belgium. Im going to try to keep this short

Im a very anxious person, have been as long as i can remember. Getting older i learned supressing this so the outside wont notice it too much. Im a salesperson. Used to work in a small shop and now im a representative. My family on my dad’s side is a line of succesfull sales/business people that dont really believe in depression or any other mental health issues. My mother’s side is a line of wellfare people that never really make anything of their lives and seem to get every mental health issue thats hot that month.

The past year ive been feeling quite down. I dont feel like im getting anywhere. I live with my gf in a decent house, have a car etc. But i still feel like i havent achieved anything to be proud of. Im not doing great in my current job so ive been thinking of what to do after i inevitability get sacked for  not selling enough but theres nothing im good at. Wasnt a great student, im a decent salesperson but obv not good enough for anything higher then retail. I feel useless and not good enough. Sometimes i wake up and im just so scared to face that day’s things.  I often joke to friends about hating myself and being a loser but im realising its not that much of a joke to me. Im ashamed to feel like this as well since i have the mentality of my fathers side. Especially since i dont REALLY have anything to complain about. No real reason to feel like this. Which makes me feel like im just spoiled and whining. 

Ive spent a lot of hours shortening this and doubting if i should post it at all.

Whats my problem? Is this the right place? What can i do? ",1.2772252747252748,3.209865239010992,3.2484175824175843,90.2965824175824,80.67582417582419,5.918241758241758,22.487912087912086,6.9916214562510826,0.6410778021978021,1353,44,294,16,35,456,178,364,0.194,0.759,0.047,-0.9946,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,5,14,26,1,3,19,0,28,4,2,4,3,50,50,22,0,3,14,3,9,5,2,2,2,0,0,2,23,9,0,1,14,3,4,2,14,10,1,0,6,9,28,16,42,40,8,35,0,4,0,0,9,16,0,6,21,181,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0361811371596148,0.0,0.0,0.06010636074144818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751323039060875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599436707604866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03431274065167948,0.0,0.04582527794573207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706713979191286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164924564759063,0.059337495904722926,0.0,0.0,0.044827399028842384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050156817830541656,0.0,0.21521585366087195,0.19004785450321787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04110595181643674,0.0,0.11118939784002133,0.0,0.030237554636046732,0.13387716602579267,0.0,0.1173171175335898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052528795664707126,0.0,0.11310858107401088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052396081219062654,0.061391278401608934,0.0,0.0,0.7471150872632462,0.11106412577798587,0.05279762541492226,0.04729093449272975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996606390522975,0.0,0.09396175275942223,0.04708463710480367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045232879208639935,0.0,0.0,0.07102932986889449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085398995512862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042467620905659344,0.0,0.078223404911439,0.0,0.041034876952882264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105150924186688,0.0605740989541505,0.05582956271964734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079007019726104,0.07377111769631124,0.046456441672048314,0.05558776674052592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095555980623424,0.0,0.0,0.050909876644687935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565899300618609,0.0,0.06055879190759478,0.10225320940336316,0.05470346926187805,0.0,0.0,0.060270747850982326,0.04543666963844725,0.0,0.0,0.053267358134767934,0.0,0.0,0.04843571686784046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802323918013112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052620978455737925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042489479185916716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050144961827582366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03534695255678188,0.06818306680323656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036122615355733016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045951926414243664,0.0,0.04389959113349296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783756921505713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038733780190506516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034262192919052775
mentalhealth,altaccount727,2018/03/30,"I cannot cry and let my feelings out. I am a 17 year old guy. I never cry/let my feelings out, and find it really hard to share stuff/feelings with people, and don't really have anyone I feel comfortable to talk to about serous stuff/ how I am feeling etc. 

Now In the last 2 years or so I have been feeling really lonely, my whole life I have had friends just come and go(stay in my life but not as friends anymore), and almost never had someone stay a friend for more than a couple of years. Even a friend who I have known for 15 years, my oldest friend who lives 3 doors from me, is in the same ""friend circle"" as me, and in my school in my grade had his 18th birthday not long ago where I was not even invited to his party(Not something big but feels kinda sad when you are not invited to a good friends party when all your friends are). I am never the one a friend goes to to talk/hang out, I am almost always the one who goes to a friend to hang out/talk. I just feel like I am the only one who cares about my friends, while they don't really care. 

Now I never cry, I used to cry a lot when I was small, then kinda stopped as I grew, and the last time I remember crying was very briefly when I was 14 when my cousin died. Now as I was saying in the last 2 years or so I have been feeling very lonely, and sad a lot of times, and a lot of nights I just want to let it all out and cry, but can't, I simply cannot do anything but feel pain in my chest.

I really have no Idea what to do.",6.8054072096128175,3.845450744548291,7.063669336893637,85.25782710280373,66.47663551401871,10.292923898531377,30.405206942590127,7.7094869923839395,1.6389375166889175,1143,24,278,9,14,373,139,321,0.112,0.672,0.21600000000000005,0.988,0,4,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,1,0,19,22,0,0,17,0,33,4,1,2,6,60,47,30,1,1,13,1,10,1,11,0,3,1,1,1,8,16,0,1,13,0,0,3,14,5,0,3,10,11,41,17,37,35,9,48,0,4,0,0,25,14,0,9,31,192,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694341298230578,0.0,0.12865083771347713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345144536790737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370717247350832,0.044916941331851236,0.0,0.05286268081540325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099053891353388,0.0,0.0,0.05533564233671192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107850199131406,0.3528140034977466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666925557004891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164273035724357,0.08485763618068316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248083513076468,0.04589188332790085,0.0,0.0,0.05871267949158322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.545934208189474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0365081293105308,0.05388007229008788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360605668693935,0.0,0.0,0.05754493544128249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725172673688796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708846398821733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970641664945736,0.09074687937481166,0.03138360839124507,0.0,0.056723631610998526,0.056848909928462664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383941986512576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817827361629645,0.0,0.0,0.060283330986311924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740733236045024,0.0,0.13058868618411326,0.048856152682546575,0.06835412349025857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044534776979429605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205763629381177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276951733269316,0.0,0.0,0.05108490674751134,0.0,0.06501263016295802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054428937490935234,0.04945381296058557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693904769684395,0.0,0.0537061291064402,0.0,0.0,0.14707506209424098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489703449898726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491578593731166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548130104407596,0.0,0.10600671708223354,0.03788943761733726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171981314623256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20683692590338845
mentalhealth,Sutus,2018/03/30,"I Feel Like A Sociopath Recently I've been introspecting and I feel like I'm a sociopath. I've noticed that when I hear about people going through tough times, hear about people's deaths or even see a video of people dying I don't really feel anything like empathy or sympathy or at least nothing I can really notice. That being said though I've watched movies and cried at characters deaths and I've cried when hearing people talk about their dead pets which makes no sense. I don't know if I've just become super desensitized to death, have low empathy or if I've always been a sociopath and I just didnt realize until recently. Anyways I just wanted to know what you guys think because you probably know more than I do and any help is appreciated.",7.341506849315068,7.1042029794520545,7.530239726027397,73.57974315068493,63.72602739726028,10.861643835616439,33.31849315068493,10.411451182825502,3.367632876712328,609,22,111,13,8,198,85,146,0.131,0.7340000000000001,0.135,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,1,11,6,0,0,4,0,10,0,0,1,0,24,26,15,5,3,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,4,1,1,4,5,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,9,12,4,11,21,2,10,0,1,2,0,10,3,0,6,9,63,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987322183642637,0.0,0.0,0.0897961119537749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866297470762658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049428841599739,0.14583492623238134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900936429799917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704336443099194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721543281402927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20029995330477726,0.1886680160909278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504503878163196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307467427382311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464778274801863,0.0,0.08850794993365389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770782170067127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935336720867685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814202865945467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670212710751236,0.3006715099743895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661775203133829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236840334557244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691846702460939,0.0,0.26075987221227603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560640932862147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522392206369943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613393218318323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461003136807334,0.12973496363728607,0.0,0.07699734507350263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788441558376738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Misspsychotic,2018/03/30,"What could be my diagnosis? Hello, I am a 21 year old female, almost 22. For a year now I have been seeing and hearing things that others cannot see or hear. I am already diagnosed with the following: Borderline personality disorder, Bipolar disorder 1, Anxiety, Depression, and Psychosis or psychotic symptoms. I feel as though I may be misdiagnosed. My symptoms not only include hallucinations but paranoia and strange thoughts and beliefs. I'm on a ton of medication but I still see and hear things. I have been to the pysch ward 8 times in my lifetime. ",5.037955555555556,7.642879240000006,6.325333333333332,69.50322222222222,71.6,9.644444444444446,36.111111111111114,9.994966539143718,4.419077777777779,444,25,71,13,9,149,71,100,0.13,0.87,0.0,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,11,5,0,0,0,17,21,11,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,7,10,0,7,14,1,9,1,1,3,0,5,2,0,4,6,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516372208045326,0.0,0.17099523306679348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853913692722524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237179004572742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334613728603422,0.15727471794998324,0.0,0.0,0.3551806712520965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783492337048814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239321588267966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609952518649192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259781545854587,0.0,0.0,0.11784925199846892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352995718018428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704340501623445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374620468180972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221123971829525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588867219721266,0.0,0.1522411985325648,0.12301590912350707,0.09035473375233244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957017214812356
mentalhealth,Unika0,2018/03/30,"I don't know I am 17 and I don't know what I am doing anymore. 
When I'm not in school I spend my days in bed watching TV shows thinking about what I should be doing instead. 
I only do homeworks or study for a test the night before cause I can't motivate myself If I know there is still time. 
Everytime I argue with my mom I get this feeling that everything is my fault and I either hit the wall or myself over and over again. 
I don't feel comfortable with telling others how I feel and I can't cry when my mom is home, cause she's just going to cry herself and tell me about her problems and that is going to make me feel even worse. 
In less than two years I'm going to finish school and I will have to choose if going to university or find a job, and I don't know which option is scarier. 
I don't know why I wrote this and I don't even know if this is the right sub but I felt like I needed to.",1.045044563279859,2.446226000000003,2.8978074866310166,95.0314171122995,79.4040404040404,5.6689245395127745,19.222816399286987,6.2272716619740125,-0.2309450980392161,700,15,168,5,17,234,103,198,0.063,0.889,0.047,-0.1966,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,12,5,1,0,5,0,23,0,0,5,0,45,46,19,0,6,10,2,5,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,9,11,0,0,15,2,1,4,9,3,0,1,2,6,33,2,17,40,2,20,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,7,10,117,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128607510308724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034795389288322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664337421316615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28489433029392075,0.08363273941806211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130456267572236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654783764469667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622800025006819,0.0,0.1245129393871775,0.0,0.11852498297749005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677523403770327,0.0,0.2948000631237405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300794074945254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868718628578912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42761174237409216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335499729454147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656226991990609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037588163961284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615592457839664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169570254417204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862732743912007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408604985689105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074583608671426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624857509523509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356245153477753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669171281344735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309357618159678,0.0,0.0,0.07561733112724027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667831617789066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701584428463532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215478961982832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350953604605932
mentalhealth,becks_morals,2018/03/30,"I Can't Stop Obsessing About Random Things I am an active member of the r/makeuprehab community because I realized how quickly I started just buying things, things I'd never have used before and don't really use still.  Ever since I found that community, I started to analyze my thoughts with regards to purchasing, and why I was doing it.  I obsess about products I want.  Every day I check the forums to see what's on sale, and what I like.  I have done this kind of thing my whole life, and makeup is the trend right now.

But that trend is being muscled out by my desire to travel to my favorite country, Japan.  YouTube showed me all of the beautiful places there, and I actually went with my wonderful husband.  Twice.  We've finally decided to try getting pregnant, which in my mind equals no travel for years, especially not to great places like Japan.  The possibility of getting pregnant has filled my mind with the things I'll be losing, like the freedom to be a slob, and the ability to make my own time as I see fit, and more than anything miss out on Japan.  It's so strong, and makes me feel so resentful and concerned with the idea of getting pregnant right now, that I want to go again in the next couple of months to get that urge out the way.  We can afford it and I will be off soon (since I teach) so it would only mean vacation time for my husband.

I get like this about the makeup too, as I have about dieting, working out, school, job stuff, etc.  I tell myself I need that lipstick, or that cake, or that day off, or the next episode, and know it's true.  I do need those things, or it lurks in the back of my mind.  When I finally get what I need, the obsession is gone and I'm fine again.  It's something I knew about myself really early, and it's why I don't drink.  I know it's too much of a lure for me.

My husband has told me he doesn't want to go to Japan again so soon, and that we don't have to wait too long, but for him, it's years out.  I know that's reasonable, but his idea that it's only two or three years away rather than the seven or eight a kid would push it to (although actually even more since we want multiple kids, which means probably ten to fifteen years before we can travel with three or four kids to a place like Japan).  It's lurking in my mind and I really need help with some tips and help getting it out of my focus because since he said that, I now know it won't happen.

Thank you for your help.  I don't want to be obsessive like this.  I also understand that if your tips don't help, and maybe even if they do, I should talk to someone.  It's just that it's the middle of the night here and I can't sleep.",5.819604462474643,4.93077935294118,6.280641480730221,83.44463235294121,67.05147058823529,9.635801217038539,29.604208924949287,8.841846274778883,1.9766435851926967,2064,59,453,29,29,671,236,544,0.04,0.843,0.117,0.9862,3,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,4,3,1,3,35,19,1,4,23,0,35,4,1,6,4,97,82,40,0,16,16,3,1,6,0,5,1,1,0,3,46,34,2,2,17,5,4,9,12,7,0,8,9,4,63,12,65,63,9,65,0,2,2,0,26,22,0,12,39,312,109,4,0.0,0.0,0.13479081590016334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055229559782960035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056832865288299075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488684869950846,0.053105091336958635,0.0,0.08420018064723186,0.0,0.1175348474630364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641676256776943,0.0,0.08907968769370866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067530384624353,0.0,0.0676553293953864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702336658818766,0.09123076112203167,0.06247132843057029,0.058188454634781325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03492026698162299,0.0,0.0,0.1513100174467422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572388266897223,0.0,0.0,0.25257752850795223,0.0,0.07850005194699176,0.0,0.0,0.07614206846012149,0.0,0.0,0.061072076256574674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851655693784288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592716918171154,0.0,0.0,0.06853425132481347,0.0,0.0,0.07191836131511929,0.1518206096874551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878115422155643,0.20244380653211008,0.0,0.0,0.0611184750738094,0.0,0.07726369655804485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220001669416104,0.0,0.06938294513784428,0.15045944450082085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27893528271712864,0.0,0.05512533151713988,0.0,0.05076916290792149,0.20483700022131487,0.05326555026046277,0.0,0.1468983116951907,0.06481083396127564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505086390180493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164680293729789,0.0,0.0,0.07785801974586691,0.0,0.0,0.07446146500608601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273034718789134,0.0710081425304623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795864347655907,0.06569461364303578,0.0,0.0,0.06989532114331945,0.1100683467177894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22851811038798234,0.0,0.06911275588379727,0.0,0.05851675368128936,0.053167978744709035,0.0,0.0,0.09776612314699756,0.0,0.055153704779401486,0.057739659691510285,0.0,0.0,0.07906047387625717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055510126485254135,0.06036400075104016,0.06358382055142932,0.0,0.0,0.27529385017471786,0.0,0.0,0.054828211923051665,0.08054224084870233,0.0,0.0,0.06599254098518764,0.0,0.04688916177278837,0.0,0.0674643980408364,0.07189689319086233,0.0,0.11929630732381474,0.0,0.0,0.20367537842765696,0.05481889913321696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402198120619057,0.1246370134067347,0.07710623858209872,0.0,0.0,0.07489574679057236,0.050278598809596925,0.0,0.0,0.09812057616937776,0.0,0.0,0.17789692032550772
mentalhealth,User18089,2018/03/30,"I want to exist. But yet I don't 10 months ago I went off my antipsychotics. It was the biggest decision of my life. I was on them for 13 years I'm 25. A lot of people describe being on antipsychotics as being a zombie. I can't agree with this 100%. For me, it's being idle. I sit back and watch almost like an out of body experience. I watch this thing walk around and do nothing. Listen to everyone not fight back. The pills make me gain weight. Lose motivation and just become nothing. 

On the other hand being off meds was a different hell. I don't know how to react. It was like waking up after a coma. I lost 13 years of my life to these pills. Clozaril schizophrenia meds. They helped my hallucinations. I was tormented by them as a kid. It was the only med that somewhat worked. I hated them though.

I made the mistake of pulling an all-nighter not eating then going to a party with friends. They offered some weed and I had what I thought was just a bad trip. I felt everyone in the room had some plan against me.

Normally I would have put this as just weed-induced paranoia. But it never really stopped. I've become constantly paranoid. I've felt like I heard everything that has gone on in my life. Like a never-ending Deja Vu. It's been making me feel really crazy. I've done some incredible things since leaving the meds behind. I've helped a young man deal with his stalker safely we even talked her out of suicide. I helped the cops stop a school shooter at my college. I a managed to help some poor girls deal with their sexual harassment case in my college.

But there were terrible things as well. Just in the last 3 months, I lost 3 of my closest family members. The last one was especially difficult it was my grandmother. What was tough was not the grief but my family could not find my father. They found me though. They had no way of getting in contact with him and asked me to be the one to tell him his mother was dead. 

My life is getting exhausting. I have severe trouble with social interactions. I don't want to keep going on. I'm not suicidal exactly. I'm sitting here typing this thinking about taking the meds again. They are on my desk. But I don't want to be idle again. I really don't. 

It kind means I won't exist for a while. I like who I am better off meds. I like feeling. I like being in control. I'm doing a mix of emdr and DBT therapies which I found out recently is exactly what I needed. 

Nothing is helping. In fact, I've gotten worse. I'm starting to question reality more often. I get the feeling of deja vu so often now it's scary. I feel like there is something in my head warning me to not do something but I can't tell what it is saying. When something goes wrong or something terrible happens I feel like I heard about it somewhere before.

So I'm not sure what to do next. I'm continuing the therapy I guess. I'm trying to resist the meds as long as I can. I really want to exist. I know I'll most likely have to become idle again. There are many people I've met they I love and would like to get to know more. But once I go back on meds I won't really have a chance. I'll probably not leave my apartment at all except to eat or go to class. I fall into a routine and avoid all interactions. I guess I see the zombie thing a bit.

If you actually took the time to read all of this thank you. If you have some advice. I'd appreciate it. My moments of clarity are fairly long. So I'll be able to respond. I hate that this sounds like a story someone made up. I'm separating myself from my friends a lot lately. I don't have it in me to be around them.

I'm questioning everyone around me but I've found it easier to talk to people when it's anonymous. I don't question things really when I can't picture the person.

Oddly I get the deja vu feeling just from writing this so I think I'll stop here. It's nice to type this out though. I'm not so much in my head now. Thank you. And please if you can tell me what I should do I really need it.",0.9514518611717158,3.228785993909866,2.9768052897163737,89.78950716761925,84.31059683313033,5.996123730106678,20.71503526923746,7.321109707123232,0.6881397679056627,3115,96,657,49,91,1047,332,821,0.118,0.759,0.123,-0.1672,1,1,4,1,1,1,91.0,1,5,11,9,40,42,5,1,40,0,66,17,5,8,8,124,137,42,4,15,28,2,10,12,2,5,8,5,1,4,43,24,3,7,24,1,1,12,23,19,1,2,35,18,105,23,94,87,16,88,1,4,3,1,61,36,1,22,49,435,148,11,0.04788962219512232,0.0,0.04673336310138658,0.0,0.0,0.0467971845554148,0.042451260581517165,0.0,0.04795453898682126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789575082950408,0.04477033212864032,0.0,0.0,0.11047249025425827,0.03998583418207169,0.0,0.1586709756539501,0.040750541250707775,0.0,0.0,0.042354479122717455,0.05228306413366905,0.05319457431626248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051751668492955864,0.05371228342905847,0.03823596650878108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874419531383416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003446240739897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049007710427299504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800607832579554,0.0,0.0,0.04241599087193748,0.0,0.0,0.03163064380209454,0.0,0.0,0.1372817588163366,0.04304010448831088,0.046845239804861286,0.09029214747666443,0.0,0.14528659142399952,0.10263706699498304,0.09196309480589823,0.0,0.04377024709268442,0.0,0.0,0.15752549670017618,0.07399880662521463,0.0,0.12510175512843513,0.0,0.10886710364105832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551163594334667,0.0,0.04234863474924059,0.0,0.0,0.09456217459715363,0.09829713705706657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049702143739702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04256649660224985,0.0,0.0498696720626069,0.07895665180986335,0.07807286766350828,0.05402157976121647,0.10141639037812657,0.0,0.0,0.13530342568320164,0.28075740487540113,0.0,0.0,0.08476161728831609,0.0,0.05357623754539624,0.10455435951029092,0.08142808848239406,0.04322225376678168,0.0906286368872948,0.06393338936850979,0.048552560332430536,0.0,0.05216583789431057,0.4255565945300998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645007908500047,0.0,0.03520438256396765,0.07101909610096742,0.07387085787687843,0.0,0.050931156500431035,0.0449411662981454,0.04692166182166454,0.13785415225941866,0.0,0.0,0.051000884689615854,0.06490249478515757,0.03642221566841517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996019024929702,0.04181537091194235,0.0,0.052568424186603686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163311250772525,0.0,0.0,0.04814229750850341,0.1609420107403499,0.0,0.04790258180701305,0.0,0.21475522783438736,0.0,0.04728522447061363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03808374971825047,0.0,0.04846685436637098,0.03816182859922528,0.0,0.0,0.054101641841477886,0.0,0.039614790357506015,0.0,0.0,0.04881743894559598,0.04057672147822916,0.14747108336423564,0.0,0.0,0.03389652107624029,0.0,0.0,0.12011360553136505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476694776251076,0.0,0.04513540216850395,0.0,0.036007035953713566,0.0769837285875835,0.1255729218572367,0.08818065988722162,0.1095319132041628,0.0,0.15907868516950655,0.061371472408884825,0.14115393197344495,0.038019010700218486,0.027924823820115872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320713234650081,0.03251390991312663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298615979203938,0.03801255302005793,0.0,0.05831665829432399,0.04305852166583148,0.04439415956047232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03486421532069661,0.0,0.048803616341714026,0.06803882717405871,0.052359784031527086,0.0,0.061678693141439124
mentalhealth,Larrage,2018/03/30,"I can't fall asleep unless I play videos of people talking. What's wrong with me? I'm scared to continue this habit of mine, been doing so for a year. I'm guessing it's because I feel a sense of loneliness (cringe lmao) and I'm trying to drown that out by falling asleep to these videos...
This has to be really unhealthy for me right?


P.S. Not sure whether this is the right subreddit to go to... sorry if it isn't!

",1.689651162790696,3.5988876744186062,2.872267441860465,93.61677325581397,79.23255813953489,6.16046511627907,21.21511627906977,7.1686216300943375,0.4420511627906976,324,9,72,4,8,104,60,86,0.244,0.7290000000000001,0.027000000000000003,-0.9539,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,7,2,2,0,1,10,13,5,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,3,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,1,6,2,15,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721206718363114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469900100177791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521528068724134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32024613432584537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015393781592032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862341151160034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4965237578346028,0.0,0.0,0.2910480570149069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254222787185563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739875642429982,0.0,0.0,0.23365898240267305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737072349230636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31784207078802346,0.0,0.1872055425187581
mentalhealth,comrade_toastboy,2018/03/30,"Should I see a psychiatrist or a psychologist? For the past month I’ve intensely been expiring psychosis symptoms. I was in the hospital for a bit and recommended to an IOP program but it interferes with school. I’ll start one probably over summer but until then, I have nothing and would like something. So I was wondering who should I see to talk and get treatment from.",5.9482608695652175,7.619759768115943,6.551420289855077,72.67147826086958,67.26086956521739,10.73739130434783,35.53913043478261,10.793553405168565,4.311490434782609,300,15,52,9,5,98,52,69,0.044,0.933,0.023,-0.3105,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,7,1,0,0,0,12,12,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,5,1,9,6,1,8,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,7,38,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932584809918397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034047654354032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123193180120318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144062751071197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577437516328284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202076856680607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564238243440824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896128678339125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718531579097261,0.4281034431443291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20679328294076868,0.0,0.0,0.19012738534818774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791942848930765,0.0,0.21590290929548173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913019776713679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190816695962178,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,livk100,2018/03/30,"Do self-esteem journaling exercises really work? My deep-seated insecurities are beginning to take a toll on my mental health and affecting my relationships. I've literally become a crazy gf but I know its not my fault and just my shitty outlook on myself. I'm trying to get my self esteem back on track after years of insecurity issues step by step. I've been reading about journalling everyday 3-5 things you like/are happy about yourself for that day. I haven't started, but I just wanted to know if many people actually got help from this?  ",4.508137254901964,6.8949711862745096,6.182941176470589,70.91990196078433,72.43137254901961,8.847058823529412,26.03921568627451,9.444778638647367,2.6737568627450985,439,15,73,11,9,150,77,102,0.118,0.773,0.108,0.1648,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,2,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,12,13,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,0,11,1,13,11,0,12,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,7,43,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.2078522860183264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377992164947636,0.0,0.0,0.2352361198778012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373640822728597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128103805385507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035146956091204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22673701913143826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22640360608525695,0.0,0.0,0.1427659838326745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223113254898768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341128405336359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405854359572353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21594338578297145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464875039093811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766383693254936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21305252765924185,0.0,0.136449979437983,0.0,0.0,0.2286767988339442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4444002417399331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507588781590574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014564839870002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150433940539814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144609547748058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256299035779779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506281537925404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371617247003846
mentalhealth,punchherghost,2018/03/30,"How to set boundaries with extremely religious family member(s)? I've suffered a lot at the hands of my family, under the name of religion. How do I set boundaries with them? Get them to please stop telling me that God loves me? (They do it in a way that is very manipulative and gaslight-y, I don't know how to explain, but it is done out of malice and passive aggression). I am scared I'll get kicked out if I say something, or that they'll berate me and call me ungrateful and a piece of shit/failure as a person and that I'll suffer more. I am terrified of people in this specific religion, mostly because of them.

I am so tired of living. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this.

I know this probably doesn't seem that bad but I really don't want to write a really long rant explaining everything.

How can I ask them to stop? But still do it in a way that's not seeming like an attack on them? Or seeming rude?",3.2697008227374686,4.3493010000000005,4.8668399401645495,84.46917539267018,73.03141361256544,8.807928197456992,26.73186237845924,9.23628265651192,2.0710071802543006,725,25,155,16,14,245,104,191,0.232,0.7120000000000001,0.057,-0.9903,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,7,0,7,9,3,1,9,0,16,3,1,6,0,38,29,18,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,12,10,0,2,8,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,2,23,2,25,27,5,18,0,2,0,1,17,9,0,8,5,108,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182718334569036,0.17259058172048428,0.0,0.0,0.12667045264431198,0.092480233678179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491157534886896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525070290194873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634602425869305,0.0,0.2860349777628044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585230997213697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501254513909592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741172223577848,0.0,0.13396158799337654,0.13425745202520947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897733706216685,0.1369230518992237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152337235572124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517573144838073,0.13246621132842168,0.0,0.16653062822685594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635676700655338,0.0,0.0,0.15250917584891835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194376994281434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064487121207627,0.15188690449859368,0.0,0.0,0.4143297899408012,0.0,0.0,0.15572683119778952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167927921463146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115478772156373,0.2536705826388249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326001168238466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436686784098945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517559044603827,0.08948173957201838,0.2408386567748817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrummerBoy303,2018/03/30,"Working=stressed, Not working=sad I feel like I live my life either stressed or sad with a few good moments in between... When I'm at work I'm over-worked, under-payed, and generally under-appreciated despite enjoying the actual work I do (I'm a teacher). When I'm not working, like this week being spring break, I feel depressed, lethargic, and unmotivated. I have no clue how to go about addressing either of these problems, but I'm getting so tired of all of it, and I'm thinking of just running away from it all somehow. Thoughts?",2.9270192307692278,5.269428432692312,4.350615384615383,82.39438461538461,77.17307692307693,6.467692307692308,31.55384615384615,7.554174236665415,2.2399376923076915,423,22,79,6,10,140,69,104,0.235,0.7440000000000001,0.02,-0.9414,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,2,21,15,9,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,2,6,4,12,13,5,11,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,7,47,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.19404045103233394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681797129331232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126174277386452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20108029794262652,0.14205228307048934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388638599535292,0.0,0.11300610790232232,0.16677867033965735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404475090356238,0.19428765610306234,0.0,0.17558053385647115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902642949355805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555441343831718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740949288095554,0.0,0.15785780210315412,0.0,0.22853885356984116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949851784463714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5790354142533909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Causalityremnant,2018/03/30,"Arguments. Every time I argue with people, I question myself. Is it me, Could I have done anything differently. Was I the one in the wrong. Sometimes. It's important that I do this. I'm not looking for validation Or justification. It's just. I argued with three people today. It wasn't like small little gripes. This was full on rage Like Fighting wrath anger. I can explain each incident. 

The first was this morning.  I was playing a video game with my cousin online. My cousin is an alpha like leader top of the pack, Bitching yelling kind of person. He likes to try to dominate people. And I had had enough. I don't like the alpha mindset. It doesn't agree with me. If a person cant be my Equal they can't be my better. I am my own person I make my own decisions. and If I want to go left and he wants to go right.  I still go left, he gets upset and called me a son of a bitch. he meant it.  I snapped, Like Bad, I told him he needed to shut the fuck up chill the fuck out before they have to wipe him off my walls with baby wipes.   When I said this, I was like, nearly stroking raging angry. But you have to understand. I had simply had enough of his Alpha dominating bullshit. And I mean every word. They would have had to wipe him off my walls with baby wipes. I wasn't joking. 

The next two where just online with strangers which doesn't amount to much. My thing is this. I know I was still in an ill mood, and the other two probably just spilled over. But I know there has to be something wrong with me, My other friend was here to, He just kind of stayed quiet and didn't say much through the whole thing. 

Is it wrong to blow up like that? Please understand this wasn't about just where to go and what to do in a video game. This cousin, He has to feel like he's in charge of people and over them and they do what he says. It gives him a thrill, And I've just never been a person that follows people. I do my own thing. so this had been building up for months and months. and today was when it call came out.  

So, Am I mental? What would you have done? ",0.5479221216788588,2.815484959905664,1.866769349249136,97.09082210242588,86.1933962264151,4.593299961494032,16.200231035810553,5.9561762281905315,-0.6704015594917211,1589,32,359,12,49,506,186,424,0.18600000000000005,0.763,0.051,-0.9952,1,0,1,0,3,0,58.0,0,2,5,3,17,32,10,1,19,0,51,4,0,2,1,57,77,22,0,8,12,4,2,9,1,2,2,5,0,4,29,25,0,0,11,6,0,6,11,15,0,5,26,8,54,16,48,45,12,46,0,0,1,2,44,27,4,4,21,253,83,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839536140508344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939633395862839,0.0,0.0,0.07072350064655977,0.0,0.0,0.07350717167635616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973643328099478,0.09505974766787224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635939840574878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683595912627272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701080149472288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175700823031867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005348363699513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04202470293296711,0.05937632933774925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069633437357513,0.0,0.0,0.06421331456686015,0.15367425627810974,0.04342339408587842,0.07973008062667784,0.18894135975712348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309992339315225,0.09135405557716493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060620804828134,0.0,0.0,0.3654456952437473,0.083301601446511,0.0,0.0,0.06979444063192736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547893310818327,0.0,0.0,0.0905350102554166,0.0,0.0,0.08375889946098647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268086880940924,0.0,0.12219602962850265,0.061627636527743335,0.0641022855705824,0.0,0.08839219232764693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631988546681831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28810231713743656,0.2902861479588841,0.0,0.09123370801572656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961045310681796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310618584283688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097850874231458,0.0790600090227693,0.13219044533673904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398486338803072,0.08220141592836556,0.0,0.0,0.08858797466590565,0.13274916026424893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656508279125358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846417335531049,0.0,0.15756383476723382,0.07941854889464743,0.0,0.05642863771099625,0.0,0.16237970275024668,0.1730482518784469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804503817438026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279329887129582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808294785660382,0.27261482469829423,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zombull18,2018/03/30,"Came to NOLA. No better. I have a very stressful job and struggle with depression and anxiety. Came to NOLA with friends to get a break and hopefully feel better. Still, the only thing I can think of is how over I am with life. I feel like I’m just counting down but don’t know when I’ll finally get my break.  I can’t bear the thought of living much longer. ",1.677335907335905,3.6484841081081116,3.0436679536679527,92.0698648648649,79.54054054054055,6.390733590733591,22.73359073359073,7.447530270364453,0.8203806949806944,280,9,61,4,7,91,52,74,0.129,0.738,0.133,0.0781,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,8,0,2,4,0,6,1,0,1,0,17,17,6,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,3,2,6,5,10,14,1,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,37,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155426385997181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593790840656898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647503674717496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499215357574482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20546021434042325,0.1451464555494978,0.0,0.222565513551351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569705489109642,0.0,0.21229846337056155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017961091297307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016173297624966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165827792816496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350672644353887,0.09925980783563236,0.0,0.17940501625101826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935514522891272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452182127695407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622537996574845,0.0,0.2327333817622313,0.21239998260780105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349787634147241,0.13018471717102242,0.0,0.16129624924604138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763856844779002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anmlcy26,2018/03/30,"My mom raised me to feel broken and inadequate. How do I heal? I've suffered from poor self esteem, depression and social anxiety for most of my life.  Until recently I attributed these feelings to a traumatic accident I had as a kid, but I've realized that my feelings of brokenness and inadequacy were taught by my mother, and I need help learning how to accept this realization, and how to heal from it. Here are a few examples of how I was taught to believe I was handicapped, or incapable:


-After my accident my mom had me repeat the 3rd grade, despite the fact that the doctors told her it wasn't neccesary.  

-Just a few months after the accident my family moved to a new town, away from my friends and my social support network.  The kids in my new school had no idea what I had just experienced, and I had to adjust to a new life while still utterly traumatized from the recent accident.  

-A couple of years later she decided I needed cosmetic surgery to fix some minor consequences of the accident.  I never asked for the surgery, but I went along with it because I trusted my mom.  I remember at a pre-op meeting with the plastic surgeon the doctor stood me in front of a mirror and pointed out the problems with my face that needed to be corrected.  I told him ""I don't see anything wrong"", then he turned me into the light so the flaws could be more visible and I consented.  That surgery was brutal.  The incision became terribly infected and painful, it looked gross and it hurt so badly that I couldn't bare to wash my hair, so I looked like a mess, and the kids at school were really mean to me about it.  

-In the years following my mom started telling me things like people who have had terrible accidents like mine shouldn't expect to go to college, and can't go to a regular high school, so she started looking at special schools for me.  I put my foot down and demanded to go to the same high school as everyone else.  Back then she would say things to me like ""You know, some people never get married, and if that's the case with you, you shouldn't worry"" as if to suggest that that is the outcome that I should expect.  

-When I was in high school my mom enrolled me into horse therapy.  The instructor would have me do weird exercises on horseback.  After a while it just became horseback riding lessons, and they eventually had me train for a competition.  When competition day finally came, I noticed all of the other participants were significantly handicapped.  The only person I personally competed against was profoundly autistic.  After it was over my mom and the lady who ran the place were congratulating me on a job well done, then they told me that I needed to start training really hard because the Olympics were coming up in a few months.  I was really confused.  I had only been riding horses for a few months, how could they be talking about the Olympics?  I asked her about this and she said, ""No, I mean the Special Olympics"".  

After all that, I'm now nearing 30 and I've never had the confidence to meet someone and never had a relationship that lasted for more than a few days.  I've realized that these things my mom taught me about myself are a lie, but I don't know how to stop believing them.  Also I don't know how to keep them from affecting my relationship with my mother.  Despite the negativity of this post I love her a lot, and I'd never tell her that I feel this way.  What do I do?  How do I handle the weight of this epiphany and move on?  ",6.742392845887173,6.713258513473054,7.199322407815945,74.75703907973528,64.91317365269461,10.744153797667822,34.046013236684516,10.426177893888326,3.4749035928143712,2749,110,515,62,38,902,291,668,0.154,0.768,0.077,-0.9946,1,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,3,5,2,27,26,1,1,50,0,50,16,3,10,9,102,94,52,0,17,9,9,7,4,1,5,11,2,0,6,37,33,1,2,18,3,1,14,16,14,1,0,36,15,87,12,84,47,14,82,0,3,4,1,55,25,0,8,45,386,124,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046619191804155295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459618636988606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797253967018554,0.0,0.10899755132786818,0.0,0.054770895458465765,0.04482593105112332,0.04867462230484405,0.07107325111703883,0.0,0.0,0.13135898103988927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667495313060645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050216736196996084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308902846948984,0.06450327913528962,0.0,0.07519203598158182,0.0,0.050210153469522116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933660070880325,0.0,0.059656922104266576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869872490021497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570420872304761,0.0,0.0,0.05495616466956768,0.0,0.11790458809855413,0.0,0.0,0.06386028381323539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503924998901822,0.0,0.030457189677837938,0.0,0.0993926710461142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222165534727869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039074497553038205,0.1847783842635807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062406942071294484,0.06580894937536645,0.0,0.0,0.057849662757069785,0.05181605404355709,0.0,0.0,0.09611366835066144,0.04751892043159131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823522039291886,0.11392168352565887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686156355588864,0.0,0.0,0.04956106997591469,0.052614305048198966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700260022884602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779279863297568,0.13959363862563764,0.12391858307186633,0.0,0.17290261663196405,0.2248068709858274,0.1689075639185897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637024238822277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867328279776453,0.06203092333148781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083004200294094,0.10180342250247904,0.060906783857919825,0.0,0.05510844669190863,0.0,0.05583133573191383,0.0,0.0,0.05578128129351132,0.0,0.05860345785069303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203749474196507,0.0,0.11512029141254453,0.12517591062792835,0.06603786457999078,0.0,0.05545272868297376,0.04635922124438748,0.0,0.35399123897403645,0.0464542664052344,0.0,0.06081531360715627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885061053106975,0.049393907435528926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378636544043455,0.0,0.04655516270498996,0.048737963518870296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615347042331951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04685601775314907,0.10190633204891687,0.0,0.06666641592699367,0.0,0.11618757106008318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711262616914285,0.0,0.0,0.06340917413292542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627255374163903,0.0,0.07098867322942029,0.05241499450895548,0.05404086205398795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059202292879505874,0.0,0.08282343691223408,0.06373739009902886,0.0,0.07508126701185604
mentalhealth,Gatnyr,2018/03/30,"My best friend took his own life a year ago today and following that I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts myself. AMA. I am a 26 yo male and I'm doing this to help eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health issues, especially in men, and to open a dialogue for other people who might be struggling. 

Some background:
I met my friend freshmen year of college. We roomed blind together and so we had no idea how we would get along, but we instantly became inseparable. We ended up living together all 4 years of school and I considered myself closer to him than I was with my own brother. 

After graduation, we went different ways, but we always managed to stay in touch, texting each other every couple of weeks, mainly to reminisce and just say hello. It is my greatest regret that I didn't do more to stay in touch and to make it a point to visit. 

I got the call while I was at work. A member of our friend group spam called me, which I ignored at first, but eventually I picked up on the 4th of 5th call. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards. I remember calling in an employee to come cover my shift (I was the only one working so I couldn't just leave). I remember thinking over and over again that my hands wouldn't work right (I know now I was in shock). I remember vomiting. 

I've dealt with a lot since then. The funeral was one of the toughest things I ever had to sit through. Most of my law school applications were due soon after, and I couldn't think of anything to write about but him, so that's what I did (I also got in and am attending now). Pretty much any reminder of him (which was pretty much everything) sent me into tears, and it wasn't for at least 4 months where I thought I was starting to get better. Turns out, I was just avoiding thinking about it while I focused on moving and starting school. I remember one night in particular, the song ""Heavy"" by Lincoln Park came on. I sat there listening to it and just thinking how sad I was. I just wanted to stop being sad for 1 minute. Think about that for a minute. The ideal scenario I could think of at that moment wasn't being happy, it was to just feel nothing. All I can say is, thank god I lived with my girlfriend at the time (and still do). I can unequivocally say that I would have attempted to take my life that night if I had lived alone.

One of the hardest things I've had to deal with is my new interactions at school. I used to be super outgoing, always trying to make friends with everyone. Now, I'm inside my own head so much that half the time I walk by people I know, I don't even realize they're there until too late. I'm sure some people think I'm just an asshole. 

Recently, my days seem to be going a lot better. I made it a point to join a mental health awareness group at my school, and it gave me a platform to get information to others who might be struggling as well. I figure if I can help others with the struggle, then maybe I'll feel a little less guilty that I didn't do more to help my friend (I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it). As of right now, my plan is to go into policy making as a career upon graduation, with the intention of helping to end suicide for good.

TLDR: Best friend took his own life, I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts afterwards, and now I'm working towards a career in policy making that will help me to raise awareness about the issue. 
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mentalhealth,TerribleEntrance6,2018/03/30,"Therapist thinks I'm disabled; very confused, looking for advice Hey everyone. 

I'm extremely new to reddit (this is my first post ever, as it happens) so I apologize if I step on any proverbial toes in this post. This is gonna take some explaining, but I hope it's at least semi-cogent.

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (Asperger's syndrome) in late high school, with the usual quirks: poor social skills, high anxiety, a tendency to become easily depressed, etc. I was first hospitalized for suicidal ideation near the end of my junior year, but I was able to recover and finish out my high school career with good enough grades to attend my state's flagship university on a scholarship.

When I got to university things fell apart fast: I wasn't used to all the socializing, the place was massive, I couldn't manage the work/life balance well without the help of my parents, and the anxiety became so extreme that I experienced derealization and depersonalization (this has happened since then periodically whenever I'm extremely anxious), hallucinations, and paranoia. Needless to say, I dropped out and returned home.

The psychological blow from that experience was bad enough that I was despondent for close to two years. I didn't take care of myself, physically or mentally, and just wallowed in self-pity. Things started to turn around a bit when my parents arranged for me to see a therapist (not the one mentioned in the title of the post; we'll get to her in a second), who said I was ready to return to college, this time more locally. I went again and lasted about a month; rinse and repeat (the same therapist once again saying that I was ready to return to school after another five or so months of therapy) and I made it one week. In between the second and third attempt I tried to hold down a job, which I was able to do for six months. My leaving that job was unrelated, in my view, to psychology; I have a bad back congenitally and the job involved constant heavy lifting.

Currently (I'm 23) my parents and I have postponed all plans for returning to school indefinitely. I'm with a therapist now, who I more-or-less like, but I'm starting to distrust. She was very helpful initially (she's in the CBT tradition to provide some context), but I'm starting to wonder about her more practical advice.

Which brings us to the salient part of my post: my therapist wants me to apply for Social Security Insurance, a welfare program in the United States for the disabled. I have absolutely no objection to welfare or entitlement programs in principle, but I do have a problem with viewing myself as disabled in that sense, or worse, taking money out of a system when it should be there for people who really need it. I recognize that autism is a disability, but my ability to finish high school (I graduated with an International Baccalaureate diploma, was an AP Scholar with Distinction, and had a 3.9 GPA) seems to belie the fact that I can't do intellectual work. Likewise, if I had a job that didn't involve heavy lifting, I'd likely be able to do at least part-time work.

I guess I'm just trying to get some perspective on all of this. For further context, I have made some progress, mostly by reversing previous negative coping techniques: I've quit smoking, quit drinking, I've started exercising, I've lost some weight, and I'm eating a more balanced diet. There are some kinks to iron out (my meds are still being adjusted, for instance), but I'm optimistic, on the whole, about the future, despite some occasionally bad (or awful) days.

On the other hand, it's true that I haven't been able to do well in college yet. It's also true that the unemployment rate (in my country, the United States) for those with autism spectrum disorder is elevated compared to the general population. I honestly don't know what to think, and neither do my parents. 

Anyways, this post has gone on long enough. I appreciate any and all responses, and I won't lie by saying I'm not nervous about posting here: I am! I guess social anxiety is transferable to the Internet.

Also, if you need me to clarify anything to give a better response, feel free to ask. I can get specific (within reason) if necessary.",7.754989469989468,7.9349737837837875,8.199748157248159,67.72723894348896,62.77091377091378,11.387960687960687,37.99371124371125,11.022393298168332,4.420675933075933,3358,158,567,84,44,1113,371,777,0.111,0.784,0.105,-0.7973,12,0,1,0,0,0,122.0,2,1,0,12,28,22,1,2,45,1,50,8,2,4,9,95,102,44,1,11,21,4,3,2,0,4,2,4,1,0,35,31,4,2,9,2,4,6,14,9,2,10,25,12,64,14,106,69,26,99,0,2,4,0,32,38,0,24,46,395,99,25,0.21462240155765505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486326342790513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581672849235937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297529638747617,0.0562625753262808,0.12313916230819505,0.06061555598058546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415398736704726,0.047764859994453734,0.05016074339046102,0.0,0.0,0.041257844736902916,0.13440055538770493,0.0,0.05925839512367865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745401826832038,0.058578018946575924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054705460555318684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057982642519703885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034603423434101534,0.0,0.046213489993080635,0.05445930495373967,0.0,0.0,0.12298793309896976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052562061481217226,0.0,0.05490307433369218,0.0,0.0,0.04752293611908054,0.16632173474500414,0.05984017765161795,0.0,0.04853456239331928,0.0,0.051270225532324736,0.0,0.0524854728833485,0.0,0.0,0.027129883727293684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127885256251836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840985099506918,0.051471341044808654,0.0,0.045003771933922215,0.042913285163791164,0.0,0.11821538602962987,0.0,0.0948949404480342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192843585901798,0.226760350833183,0.05382094200083065,0.053292117842716966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129796167661369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02948771475884676,0.043736475634959686,0.060525854312709515,0.056813533555290625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242683220241155,0.0,0.0,0.04748351790135371,0.045057190818838265,0.0,0.05857142608056175,0.0,0.0,0.10154045285321242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959927624338324,0.0,0.054072225260634495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284821649796288,0.0,0.0,0.07956989564221281,0.0,0.051820913205304506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714146328536534,0.07271684688343845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23831277808095855,0.11620757304329453,0.0,0.03719803743988389,0.0,0.056058682394533085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30832340037119776,0.0,0.0,0.051341163225555014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413867122508135,0.0,0.0,0.034373151539628284,0.05516689352794301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051038762979188614,0.12800726102330928,0.0,0.27151166064939064,0.042756566696362165,0.04884604343110382,0.055974493057790835,0.0,0.0,0.04438446710379848,0.0,0.0,0.21878051035168014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519108404779467,0.0,0.04284943178075037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058690518169679885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102700191294175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135985517723608,0.3114914377857405,0.07129279347539112,0.06876068442269836,0.0,0.0,0.031287012073975565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285726123660287,0.058361885630168475,0.052413725116791314,0.0,0.06454108082863733,0.046341211372951614,0.059094063422813786,0.08854297918064047,0.031647463278346666,0.0,0.04303928617646408,0.06533806637140141,0.09648565705728546,0.049739279113444085,0.0,0.05990456168282365,0.0,0.051722084070829885,0.058187209827644325,0.11718574835582893,0.0,0.054679640722995325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910489496564468
mentalhealth,Lacarae,2018/03/30,"Can being the butt-end of social exclusion cause depression and anxiety? Lately I’ve been pondering on what had caused my severe depression and anxiety, even to having scary religious delusions. My parents have been divorced for about ten years but I don’t think that’s the true cause, though it could be a factor. I’m starting to think that my long history of being socially excluded from my peers in school is the main culprit though. I have been quite shy and easily sensitive (from not being able to talk until I was three) as far as I can remember from pre-k until somewhat now as a senior in high school. It honestly does hurt seeing everyone still distant from me despite my efforts in being friendly. However, in every medical article on depression that I’ve read, being impacted by social exclusion doesn’t appear as a cause. So is it all in my head? Should I just buck up and hide my feelings to avoid embarrassing myself? I don’t think I’ve ever been abused or suffered from serious trauma so maybe it’s not that big of a deal? What do y’all think? ",6.099367184539598,6.924509842364537,6.892118226600987,73.46223190602502,66.33990147783251,10.778173550587343,32.36415308829102,10.727762888450028,3.7165327017809773,850,34,148,23,13,282,122,203,0.239,0.693,0.068,-0.9872,2,1,0,0,2,0,19.0,0,1,0,2,10,12,0,2,7,0,25,2,1,4,3,28,34,16,0,2,5,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,7,1,1,1,5,9,0,2,6,2,16,3,29,20,3,22,0,5,1,0,9,11,0,3,10,109,26,4,0.1152243667828663,0.13652203300980706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629265041186376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734686587944317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199728098406082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879126266816807,0.2977277348104925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008336198549917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020545885656334,0.0,0.0,0.07610460755319869,0.10422703647459516,0.0970814986007544,0.11010182029278767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058260901950264385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902205995004246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825344254984248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217408697628199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233500677680958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129978104551225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196993870346954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575836364091405,0.0,0.0,0.11607642731554142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279430234279045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255529732123326,0.11525554813292535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052674591708655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332264214392277,0.09181890217688694,0.0,0.0,0.1301707371525818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523701941653937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155639986547389,0.0,0.09201832815417936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261298139862778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953244867137897,0.2264147106762037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420071442890708
mentalhealth,so_confused19,2018/03/30,"I think my mom might be schizophrenic Country: United States

Hello,

I'm really concerned about my mom's mental state at this point. Late last year she said to me that she believed that someone bugged her phone. When we would talk on the phone she claimed that she could hear the person breathing in the background and sometimes making comments. I just brushed it off and would laugh anytime she would attack the ""listener"". 

Before I go forward I need to make this clear: She really hates the neighbors, I mean REALLY. And we live in a house, single-family style.

I would say around January of this year is when things got wild. The family computer wouldn't boot up *which has happened before, like 3 yrs ago* and she was convinced that one of the neighbors hacked into the computer, took some files, and tried to permanently shut it down. Also with this same neighbor, she claimed that she heard the women and her significant other moving around in their bed and they were talking. There is no way she heard that because every house has a different layout and I would've heard that. 

Other things have gone on, like one of the outside lights went out and she claimed that another neighbor broke it. She will go on these rants, just talking to herself about the neighbors. Also, anyone driving around the neighborhood is connected with her enemies. 

I really need some advice. 

",5.58331325301205,7.7743391686747,4.904054216867472,82.07776807228917,68.95983935742973,7.871566265060243,28.11265060240964,8.548686976883017,2.1679653012048195,1099,39,188,18,20,330,145,249,0.076,0.851,0.073,-0.1513,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,2,0,12,7,2,0,14,0,17,2,1,2,1,37,38,13,0,8,2,2,0,2,5,7,1,7,6,2,21,18,0,0,2,0,0,8,2,3,0,2,10,9,31,4,26,19,3,35,0,1,0,0,43,18,0,3,10,131,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217488873164553,0.09268619186477807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723329788508798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964034850337877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311083098507958,0.0,0.0,0.27924188675882217,0.0,0.1189521726144265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373884722009487,0.0,0.17794583403260006,0.11780339145737505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348270650674412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924301702744554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809636728639679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19713985380562912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884779294670818,0.0,0.08362623846308669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246212319283834,0.0,0.0,0.10323142043134574,0.0,0.0,0.11784679630869208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412965609166749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523041121238173,0.1179483114988237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216553579827994,0.0,0.09232845604807144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395893151911552,0.0,0.0,0.1138965673486764,0.0,0.0,0.1053719561813216,0.1109217091077736,0.0,0.24491897684317,0.0,0.11113080533127301,0.0,0.15505993172187044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417052168005345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129781867840674,0.0,0.0,0.09884306146198572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679354289851645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946056908642223,0.08315036314499473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859340666581447,0.0,0.10341258126583693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521242670037959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893012676883448,0.0669978698958878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116170083283453,0.07098942295707117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829949154447753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969282309719919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713823631691495,0.0,0.0,0.13466651185772371
mentalhealth,Salendoras,2018/03/30,"Depression - a story Hi /mentalhealth. 

I'm an adult male who have been struggling with depression the past 4 years, and I cannot seem to get through it, so I'm trying to vent/share my story here in a desperate attempt to get *something* out of it.


My childhood was largely influenced by being left out of social happenings, which lead to being an easy target for bullies. There was no apparant reason for me being bullied, other than being picked as an outsider of sorts. In hindsight, I could've been more socially smart than I was and gotten myself out of the situation. Nevertheless, I was bullied for about 10 years from the age of 7 through 17, but I had soccer/football to keep my head above water all the way through. 



My parents was completely unaware of the bullying, simply because I didn't let them in on it. I was ashamed of being some sort of victim, and to proud to let anyone help me. Some parts of me really wanted them to help, but subconsciously I expected them to tell me that I was a pussy and that I weren't *THAT* bullied. I also have a tense relationship with my father, a typical top-manager dad that brings home his work to his family. No fun to be around and always talking to me like I was his employee. 

My mother always tried to help me and defend me against that type of behaviour, which led to conflicts between them, that again decreased my willingness to share *anything* with them. My problems was always undermined and explained as exaggaration. Now that I'm older, I can see the constant manipulation. My love for my parents is strong, but I also hold a grudge against them, which I have told them aswell. They tell me that they wanted to do what was best for me, and that they did what they could. I believe them, but it was not enough. I feel like they always took the easy way out and blamed me and my head for everything.


However - I was constantly excluded from parties and social-happening, cyber bullying, tried to beat me up to establish some sort of social dominance in their respective group, stealing my stuff, name-calling. The standard bullying package on your local high-school (4,99$ monthly). 
They even made a fake MSN-account that was a girl with the pure intention of fucking me over. 

I HAVE to tell the MSN-story, because it somewhat humours me in an ambivalent way; they created an account which seemed to be a really nice and cute girl. Nothing sexual or anything like that, but it was just a really nice person talking to me all the time. After having contact with this fictious girl over the course of 5 months, they revealed themselves and for 2 years I got constantly harrassed over this incident. Especially when they found out that I thought I had a crush on this online person. 

This episode happened when I was an insecure 14 year old boy, with no friends whatsoever. The culprits? Three female bullies which were in my class, and boy did they share that story with everyone they could. For me at the time, it was a drop in the ocean and just another thing I could get harrased for. A sad drop, but a drop nonetheless.


Luckily, the bullying somewhat stopped when I 

* decided enough was enough, and knocked one of the bullies out cold

* became a professional soccer player. 

Sadly, the only solution for me was violence. I am not a violent person, and I hate to do others harm, but this incident was in self-defence. On my regular route home from school, I got attacked and decided to fight back for once. The bully kicked my leg and punched the side of my chest from behind while I walked about 3 times. I tried to keep my cool, but when he actually managed to trip me, I lost it and turned around. One punch straight to the jaw and a kick in the face as he fell (which made him lose his tooth), and I was suddenly not as harmless as I seemed to be. People started to think twice before harrasing me.
I was still excluded tho, but it was wonderful to just get some quiet around me for once, even if it ment going against my beliefs against violence.



Times changed even more drastically when I became a professional football player. There was some sort of idiotic social status to it, especially when you are 18 years old with a contract. Please keep in mind that neither the club I played for, nor the country I reside is considered especially impressive when it comes to football, but it's still a dream for thousands of kids, and locally I was more than welcome to become anyones friend. However, I had grown into such a cynic (or a skeptic, if you will) that I doubted everyones motives around me. This dream did came to an abrupt end when my back went to bricks and pieces when I was 20 years old. Back to square, with no real friends and no plans or desires for my life.

But I got a taste of love. My first girlfriend, one of the best persons that excist in my mind. Even to this day.
When I saw her, I was completely out of breath. She was a small brunette, had an Ed Hardy-cap on (**LOL**) and had the most beautiful green-brown eyes I ever saw. For the first time in my life, I couldn't help myself - I talked to her. She smiled back, and I just asked her to spend some time with me. She fucking said yes, and I couldn't believe it. This was one of the greatest girls I have, and probably will ever meet. She became my girlfriend for the next 4 years, and we studied together and hung out pretty much every god-damned day we could. Sadly, we outgrew eachother for a variety of reasons.

But she decided to jump into bed with one of my roommates, who at the time was one of my best friends, straight after out break-up. This tore me completely apart, the one person I put my full trust on had hurt me that bad. I do not blame her for it tho, I just want to acknowledge that it tore a huge hole in my heart that probably isn't going to heal back up. It changed me. It started my depression.



For the past 4 years, I have graduated from college, got myself a new girlfriend (3 1/2 years and still running), got an OK job at a bank, but still I cannot shake the depression I have. I'm not socializing well at all, which I used to do at the college I went to. I'm activly excluding myself from the company of others, while I self-loath and complain about how fucking bored and sad I am all day. I try to keep up a smile, but the past weeks I just can't. I'm tired and my body has given up completely. I feel like the wierdo that just doesn't fit in anywhere.

Thoughts of suicide are going through my head at a larger rate than usual, and my body somewhat welcomes it more. I have tried several therapists, but they cannot seem to help me with my issues. I'm also becoming more open about my depression by trying to acknowledge that I **am** not the depression, but the depression is a part of me. I find no joy with my girl, my job, my hobbies or myself. Not a single person that has chosen to partake in my life deserves to let me be their burden. They deserve to see person that smiles once or twice a day. And I'm shitscared that I'm burning bridges in all directions by the minute.

Luckily I have an appointment with my doctor in a few days. Maybe it helps..

I also want to sprinkle *some* positivity: Remember that someone loves you, and don't forget the happy thoughts. :)
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mentalhealth,UnahzaalRochabarth,2018/03/30,"What is wrong with me? Well, a few bits of background information about me are in order.
I'm a 17 yo dude from Poland, currently in high school. Didn't really know where to write all of this. It's also my first post ever on Reddit. Long-ish post ahead.
I don't even know what to start with. For as long as I remember, I have been simply devoid of all feelings and emotions, save for the negative ones, and some positive outbursts. Even if I do feel something, it's weak, and dissipates almost immediately. There is also no mental part of experiencing emotions on my side. I can yell at someone, smile, or cry, but I just don't have any sort of mental reaction, only the physical. My head is also completely empty of thought; there is nothing. 
I'm completely apathetic as well. Nothing moves me. Not even the death of several people I personally knew. I can't gather any remorse, sadness nor empathy towards anyone. It's like I'm unable to care for any being other than myself, and even that is questionable. I often feel unusually bad about myself, and think stuff like ""Why won't someone just kill me"".
I have no interests/hobbies, everything I do, which is wasting all my time playing LoL and browsing the internet, is only to kill time. I don't get any enjoyment from whatever I do. I probably would just lay in my bed staring lifelessly at the ceiling if I couldn't do that. It's like I'm a soulless husk, a zombie.
No social life for me either. I have 8 people I call ""friends"", which is wrong, because I simply don't care about them. They sort of started talking to me for no reason, and are sticking around. I don't know why. There is nothing appealing about me.
Now my lack of thought and interest in anything, complete with a lack of general knowledge on what's happening, makes me unable to socialize/talk. I can go weeks without saying a word. I also don't feel any need to speak, socialize, etc etc.
Sorry for the disorganized sentence structure, there is so much more I could've written, but who would read that.
How do I conclude? This is getting mentally tiring for me. I am only 6 months away from my 18, already failed a year in school, have no job experience, skills, or willpower to gather either. It's not going to end up well for me, if I don't do something to become a normal, feeling human again. I just want to feel happiness again.

Tl;dr - I'm a emotionally dead, lifeless doll, without any willpower or purpose.",3.952630456738863,5.785205217484009,5.2754466389855255,79.22290175064529,72.51812366737741,8.092492425092582,29.612894175737853,8.766177420268882,2.5288132196162043,1913,81,348,37,38,638,234,469,0.136,0.722,0.14300000000000002,0.5342,4,0,2,0,0,1,82.0,0,0,2,5,32,22,2,0,15,1,42,4,1,4,4,72,73,26,4,11,18,0,6,3,1,3,3,3,1,2,18,12,0,0,19,2,0,3,22,8,3,2,6,11,47,14,60,62,15,39,0,2,1,0,17,17,0,12,19,250,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704347357495062,0.0,0.07762126284415853,0.22500153003466727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869991719046485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918293498299689,0.0,0.057883322338496815,0.06261696739931437,0.0,0.0,0.06608616967929276,0.0,0.05873045021060019,0.04287823755356932,0.07768432684668045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679239305045747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182437871773821,0.0,0.1434313861928883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124852756154226,0.0,0.0,0.05616027708895474,0.0,0.07726451392546473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373670294380344,0.062299819198333176,0.0,0.1568940201485204,0.185834007362644,0.06362600270314513,0.0,0.0,0.06321650568048265,0.068805417724575,0.0,0.0,0.2133942456981632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059830646795758516,0.0,0.0,0.0543440360448275,0.0,0.07349885329263464,0.0,0.0799509894035198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062200887776959875,0.07487758560036885,0.0,0.0,0.07218850415234086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431742444773859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980098822289127,0.0,0.15564022051755835,0.0,0.11597006296780027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968278934251815,0.10309281477792194,0.0,0.0,0.12449628839188767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469520871317188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265667480738032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614422776393159,0.07475963683590915,0.05170754292516554,0.052155764321028315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689176649627449,0.20247761716639054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766378914551316,0.16048882067585052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617070178422318,0.0,0.09752894902077157,0.06141763976210166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473137861690798,0.0,0.07583775617998532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879621155782589,0.0,0.07035842200929725,0.0,0.04506121256544074,0.07232060502138524,0.0,0.0,0.07968081382202176,0.0,0.0,0.05593670389558908,0.0,0.1423744301177955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946348619400036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340429434826388,0.119196668982088,0.1083013934333504,0.0,0.07873918516880192,0.0995731605506072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052176976119975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307227000072505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04507063911995757,0.0,0.11168323285783063,0.08203092462892449,0.08084477821255641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041487992984828886,0.0,0.05642201358308899,0.0,0.18973066946576414,0.0,0.12694071266216622,0.0,0.0,0.13560931833418186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993416502300548,0.15381015562157055,0.0,0.04529625917148365
mentalhealth,-illegible-,2018/03/30,"A poem I wrote This doesn’t even count as a poem. I basically just wrote whatever came to mind so it’s pretty awful. Bear with me.

I’m sorry
For apologizing
Because I do it every five minutes 
And for asking if I’m annoying you
Because I annoy myself
And for taking ten minutes to respond to a text
Because it has to be just right
And for lying
Because if I say I have plans
My plans are to lay in bed thinking about how I should’ve just told the truth
And for tricking you
Into thinking that I’m a reliable person
And for seeming distant
Because I’m having a conversation with myself
About how awful I am
And for crying
And for texting you at 2 in the morning because I’m having my weekly existential crisis 
And for questioning if you’re really my friend
Because I don’t know why anybody would want to be within ten feet of me
And for crying
Because this seems like it will never end
And most of all
I’m sorry
Because I know that I’m worrying you
And at least one of us should be happy",4.605347091932458,4.981867463414638,6.331707317073171,77.75410881801129,69.48780487804878,8.25891181988743,29.915572232645413,8.139509932561175,2.147615384615385,790,29,150,10,13,274,106,205,0.161,0.753,0.086,-0.9283,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,4,0,2,9,7,3,0,7,2,15,1,1,2,3,40,35,18,0,6,6,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,1,8,15,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,3,0,4,4,1,22,4,30,25,3,11,0,0,0,0,16,7,0,7,4,111,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156446207105998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6786680215446206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148207132639645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717615575494604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956320722292674,0.0,0.0,0.08170396848553374,0.0,0.1042242244881144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557181640535062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168302144454924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359667085618863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043452225091137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490370171382932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540656652034618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382363984965567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801176759399402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584935044688092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857448972376202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924663399594302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056407857467458,0.0,0.09837275226705457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22522721092198586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769484012064246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300846828242186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852642390017652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820251026343713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487982096792312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296261259104513,0.0,0.0992262392681897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162176540315727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562533051139885,0.0,0.08787431305545948,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,averagelyexceptional,2018/03/31,"What would you guys think of a website where you can read or submit personal mental stories? Would it be helpful? Posts would be nearly anonymous. Only information would be age, gender, and location plua whatever one puts in the story. 
",5.4069512195121945,8.417311097560976,5.675792682926829,72.62637195121951,72.17073170731706,8.002439024390245,29.76219512195122,8.841846274778883,3.103921951219512,189,8,27,4,4,60,35,41,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,8,9,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,1,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25022599543932345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693884636253079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546756662317192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124513867373514,0.19219992678521206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065959141363556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420295787281929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25404676477247584,0.0,0.0,0.25278178570873183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192854123805125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7180813885930624,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hathematics,2018/03/31,"I Feel stuck in “The Great American Trap”, and I am scared that it is killing me Hello, 

I am a 33 year old male living in the Philly suburbs. I have a loving wife, a beautiful home, and 2 beautiful new cars. I just recently accepted a promotion at my company, and with it, a nice bump is salary, and an aggressive bonus structure. 

With that bump in salary came an immense amount of pressure. I have been working 70+ hour weeks, and cannot seem to “shut off” from work. 

It is affecting my personal life. 

It is affecting my marriage.

It is affecting my physical health. I have lost close to 20 lbs due to being sick/too busy to get back to the gym. When I am at the gym, I get phone calls/emails constantly and I cannot relax. 

It is affecting everything. I am starting to feel uncertain about my immediate future. I am uncertain about my long term future. I am nervous that I will become suicidal or lash out in a poorly thought out way, such as quitting without a backup plan and losing everything. 

Today I went to the gym to blow off some steam, and for the first time in my life, I began visibly crying during a workout. 

I feel stuck with a large mortgage, 2 large auto payments, and a wife that would like children. I am the sole provider for health insurance, and I cannot leave my job in good conscience. 

What can I do to alleviate stress? My job requires me to respond to emails/slack/phone/texts between literally 5:30AM-10:30PM M-Thursday, and I work 6-8 hours over weekends doing additional prep. 

I have worked 147 hours in the last 12 days. 

My company lost several key technicians, and the stress of carrying their weight is absolutely crippling. Ownership of the company is putting the blame solely on my shoulders. I am cracking under the pressure and cannot continue on this path. 

I am not necessarily looking for advice as there is no way to advise with so little information. I am more trying to vent and leave a trail of bread crumbs for myself to analyze in the future. 

",5.004800194931775,6.312644039473685,5.7978362573099425,78.5624463937622,69.13157894736842,9.524366471734892,31.70565302144249,9.816601858774405,3.1277378167641325,1565,67,293,37,27,512,205,380,0.14,0.777,0.083,-0.9486,5,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,1,13,8,21,2,8,26,0,34,8,1,4,0,43,51,19,2,1,4,2,4,1,0,2,4,0,1,3,12,23,2,1,7,6,2,4,7,13,0,1,9,5,40,8,51,39,4,53,0,3,1,1,13,21,0,5,27,189,52,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466513151357458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235978176138764,0.0,0.0,0.11829286093441765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250352552688107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157461766198368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765359593047604,0.06907608529731027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19252432553042592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247174208253073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110638745696173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191948214398817,0.0,0.0,0.08983748081251157,0.0,0.11808743725616933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277025339782553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743850207511978,0.0,0.31644072494299136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21257720644813005,0.0,0.11849962346859393,0.0,0.0,0.08730767715274326,0.0,0.2268247531855081,0.0,0.0,0.15130772265370035,0.0523277753135928,0.10735079894054544,0.09457871806542713,0.09478760212892304,0.08994411671973546,0.1198269511716292,0.23384303761914976,0.0,0.09666955219189256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344600231740246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239229403685456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352296163468532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767356942438353,0.0,0.11392301406651392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575666645084572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723423731818707,0.0,0.0,0.09750750439212016,0.0,0.12100205412428792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581190770346967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453847206513498,0.0,0.0,0.1171592529552101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503214013318107,0.062455794838786785,0.0,0.10152628072378488,0.0,0.0,0.07271960245916445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700353941720512,0.08591593281868506,0.13042922918963,0.0,0.09929060034219114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032487175101397,0.0,0.3119048905463324,0.0,0.0,0.07608676528146219,0.0,0.0,0.06897432602585034
mentalhealth,mulliboom99,2018/03/31,"Drugs and Schizophrenia Im 18 and I recently discovered that my grandma has had schizophrenia since her 20s. Ive been smoking marijuana for about a year once a week and ive been thinking of trying ecstasy. Should I stop smoking?  Should I stop experimenting with any drugs for the rest of my life? Thats a big question and I dont know what to do,  advise pls? ",1.0926760563380284,3.7170070704225404,2.6353380281690164,88.81441549295776,90.97183098591549,5.656901408450705,24.001408450704226,7.1686216300943375,1.2416974647887322,286,12,57,5,10,93,48,71,0.068,0.8440000000000001,0.08800000000000001,0.327,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,0,0,12,12,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,9,0,7,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636557528359332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26948536564027165,0.0,0.5333096487082962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249232704135937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483722598911969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263677904803106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241185406243888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448762313131453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575829373020071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270358178221477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902069077045155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844765599780943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473348449256047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561126590888856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444221746067407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807239149589468
mentalhealth,Alpha_Weirstone,2018/03/31,"Thoughts are harder to formulate than before Sorry if this isn't the place to put this.

I'm seriously wondering what's the matter with me right now. 

I'm mostly struggling with answering homework questions and essays, but I'm also struggling with general conversation or sentences, like I don't know how to put things forward, if that makes sense? This isn't just struggling to know what to say in social situations either, I'm genuinely struggling with formulating my thoughts, arguments, explanations, etc. It's affecting my online presence, my real life one, and most importantly my school one - I haven't a clue why I'm having this, it's like I begin the process but then I'm cut off from completing it? Is it laziness and disinterest? 

Does anyone know what this could be?",7.289029733959314,8.327793943661971,7.432347417840376,69.8783020344288,63.78873239436618,10.536463223787168,35.496087636932714,10.504223727775694,3.9926219092331774,628,28,103,15,9,203,88,142,0.154,0.762,0.083,-0.8865,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,1,4,4,0,9,1,0,3,0,31,23,11,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,14,7,0,0,8,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,2,1,8,2,13,19,4,10,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,7,6,67,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528491535847685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080021226029263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266977135700632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114929970588842,0.0,0.0,0.1151002446909797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261556232340996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607768074313672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23768014184259384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182466160550543,0.1408588516283561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622809924981472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953734588901023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150616798577608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898417761686302,0.16149249435971336,0.0,0.0,0.1640859472809104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311208239243936,0.0,0.11464203239936348,0.0,0.14589788898602146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620421828882844,0.0,0.14695324012627353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137561902236228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6028304565239654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577367729896166,0.0,0.0,0.22889430209638634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300822204413256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563356627029463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lolasnickner,2018/03/31,"Was at breaking point last night i was diagnosed with GAD, and OCD when i was a child. Im in college now and i handle things much better and without medication. But, sometimes things still get really bad. Over the past year i've developed some nasty physical anxiety symptoms mostly related to my chest and heart. My symptoms of anxiety/depression/OCD always get terrible right before i get my period.(tmi). Anyway. It's that time of the month and my anxiety symptoms are 100% worse. Last night i was constantly checking my pulse, and had terrible anxiety all day. I had a meltdown basically and starting crying/freaking out when boyfriend was with me. My vison got super blurry and i checked my pulse and it was unequally slow and pounding and uneven. Then it got fast. All day i had been having chest pain. The night before i woke of 3 times gasping for air. MY anxiety is taking such a toll on me. I've seen a cardiologist many times the past 2 years and have had many test done and he ensures me nothing is wrong with my heart besides a some occasional non dangerous palpitations, and sometimes its a little fast. He says it's because i smoke and am so anxious.(but i cant help but think hes worng and something serious is wrong.)

 I cant help but feel like im gonna drop dead from a heart attack. 
not sure what i'm expecting from posting here, it just really sucks having such bad anxiety, i feel like i cant function correctly. There's a lot of things i don't do that other people my age do. I'm starting to think i need some type of intensive therapy.
",3.271506364922204,5.547219930693071,4.5973538425271085,81.37600247524755,75.76567656765677,8.156954266855259,27.98314474304573,8.942964678507748,2.5084352663837817,1241,52,232,29,28,410,166,303,0.182,0.7759999999999999,0.042,-0.9878,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,11,16,3,0,12,0,27,11,5,0,4,41,46,23,1,2,6,0,2,2,0,1,6,1,0,1,13,20,0,0,4,0,2,0,6,11,0,0,16,4,30,5,19,29,8,39,0,0,1,0,7,9,1,5,29,140,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452816406613358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425982723735598,0.10118690610840378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189709501711136,0.0,0.0,0.14957190618734706,0.05460012397183793,0.0,0.15243238656172228,0.0,0.0,0.07921605623020195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679172465955084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552854053428915,0.0,0.0,0.090910138295984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165966918573526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057704587663383,0.12797550324127216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403875274684088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327221738467513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31841729795018603,0.12007175003264728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349869197133432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602055799024974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875172859806081,0.08977116373496959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614793251558857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816167937407666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023083689238898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149271917680744,0.0,0.06584315063010687,0.06641390505419817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252161898594705,0.0,0.08594338783161255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530719506300583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710065291224839,0.0620955175772367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467118005671992,0.0,0.08578186039234073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475974446573765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649100640714236,0.0,0.07122846323754546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895420433729425,0.17717106611185604,0.0,0.1267940853104935,0.0,0.0715295168089517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441724771997594,0.2792878883184441,0.06734436224626794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242938143853468,0.0,0.17851598693355447,0.11478375156465835,0.0,0.0,0.15668433136978133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634083412981143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127794973374656,0.0,0.19585817991174306,0.0,0.1153583499384122
mentalhealth,takshan0,2018/03/31,"Spouse refusing treatment We are married 18 years, with a child 15 years. Suddenly last 2 months, my wife says that she hears voices. She also talks about close friends, relatives, even kids out to harm us. She is discarding many household items saying that they have been planned by evil people. Become argumentative, verbally abusive to all people around. She says that she can see the future, she can cure people, I want to take her to a doctor. But she refuses. Says that she is fine. But she is not. I made a diary of her actions, behavior etc. for 1 month and talked to a doctor. The doc says it is hallucinations / schizophrenia and can be treated with a small dose of anti-psychotics. But she refuses to go. Anyone in a similar situation, please tell me how you went about this kind of situation. Can I force her to go to a doctor? Can I force her to take medicines

Any advice is appreciated...

Location - Texas, USA. I am currently in Mumbai on a business trip. Wife is in USA",2.610082815734991,5.3643736521739145,3.795621118012424,83.45579710144928,81.5,6.9830227743271225,23.97929606625259,8.11559375814309,1.7049361283643891,768,28,143,16,21,249,116,184,0.102,0.852,0.046,-0.91,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,1,1,1,6,6,1,0,10,0,16,4,0,2,1,19,25,7,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,2,6,8,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,2,0,0,3,8,25,4,24,21,3,21,0,0,1,0,36,8,0,0,8,93,31,3,0.0,0.14880107362106967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122722999828726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043256343352616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540404898059137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781394929653609,0.0,0.0,0.11179981841683886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870192051792554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856334780848769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400636575980563,0.08294959474133119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970288663630872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274894599347834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154664167232126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307804265179833,0.0,0.10237086499884572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883426636517838,0.0,0.12732637465199034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004860576888917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26120042004046623,0.0,0.0,0.137857753062251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4993625209029062,0.0,0.0,0.10007726168015156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823320251609661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885287690535732,0.2018855236703664,0.10976932205062996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106672809060948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407497160639792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642120114480012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617489239949808
mentalhealth,Orlaiththebabybat,2018/03/31,"Do I have an earing disorder? I'm 18 and have been diagnosed with autism and OCD, and I've been on antidepressants for several years. I have an unhealthy relationship with food but I'm not sure what category I'd fit under;

*sometimes I binge on a lot of junk food and sometimes deliberately throw up afterwards, but not always.

*sometimes I restrict calories. I see myself as severely obese but everyone says I'm normal size- slightly chubby at worst.

*a lot of times I skip meals just because I don't feel like eating. If my mum didn't force me to cook myself dinner I'd probably never have it.

*I won't eat a lot of things. I don't eat meat. I don't eat a lot of dairy. I don't eat sauces ect.

*I only like plain things. I hate stuff that isn't pasta, fish, rice ect. 

*I won't try anything new. I stick to pretty much the same diet every day, except when I go on a junk food binge.

Does this sound like an eating disorder? Which one would it be?",0.2424702616970649,2.631879551546397,2.4653608247422696,90.67700237906423,91.11340206185568,5.458842188739097,18.286280729579694,7.010146845296331,0.3439609833465509,739,21,156,12,26,249,115,194,0.17,0.7759999999999999,0.053,-0.9704,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,9,0,17,17,1,0,2,25,24,10,0,3,8,1,1,3,0,3,2,3,0,0,9,6,15,1,1,1,0,2,11,2,0,1,3,5,20,4,17,17,7,16,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,5,10,93,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809197188227323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002839284055352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928264482091464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271814912641452,0.0,0.0,0.09870661542821464,0.0,0.0,0.2229136531401394,0.0,0.08510405493562254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5970656418056578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193724674401996,0.0929264602042905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917247845812375,0.06947535786130529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35278494542559224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526936714654013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960141561810454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253418682221786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307135961447274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148987637295312,0.0,0.07500512880159488,0.09392457276566167,0.0,0.0,0.09528426742747732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589905844899188,0.07396294170570386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989381243255656,0.10485185539672316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441001267368516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733703479187988,0.0,0.0,0.0774955903222342,0.0,0.0,0.21972944304836226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288547954312412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113278844808141,0.0,0.0,0.0916568928657332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921704297100714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670720680895777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602630782878269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690835485382531,0.0,0.0,0.062625756033567
mentalhealth,ka7ii,2018/03/31,"Relationships Hi there reddit. A little backstory I suppose wouldn’t hurt. I am 16, and I have OCD, ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, GAD, and autism. It’s extremely hard for me to keep up with people and to make friends. I do things my own way and usually don’t let people bring me down. Lately, things have been rough. My 3 friends that I do have, are all in relationships. They spend most of their time with their SO and don’t have much time for other things. I have talked to my parents about how seeing them in relationships and feeling left out makes me feel and they tell me, “just get a boyfriend” but it is not that easy. 

I was wondering if anybody had any suggestions, whether it be finding somebody to date or just coping with feeling lonely because of this. I know that I don’t have to be in a relationship. I am only 16 and have a ton of life ahead of me to find anybody. But I feel left out.

Thanks for any input guys!",2.4121994884910483,4.473701217391309,3.25291560102302,91.01868286445016,77.58695652173913,6.2859335038363175,23.867007672634273,7.285733465282438,0.8538245524296673,720,24,153,9,17,228,107,184,0.057,0.879,0.064,0.0866,1,2,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,5,1,6,5,0,0,4,0,23,1,0,3,1,36,36,15,0,2,8,1,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,11,13,0,1,8,0,1,1,5,2,0,0,3,7,24,3,25,29,5,18,0,2,1,0,17,10,0,4,6,111,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525480312697919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263671640189654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737678914427001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567232625230703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23202775682750354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613525453492864,0.0,0.06631691970157033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256829937035088,0.0,0.0,0.11370646343213113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588371776710734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128233146789377,0.0,0.0,0.06975870605763915,0.0,0.14318523203365796,0.0,0.2758247633304661,0.1297969390903954,0.08965608043596468,0.0,0.127219572086306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945667327560093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330989038647584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653778035950801,0.0,0.0,0.14094336549885925,0.0,0.0,0.17599783373592293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5451114105727005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011486577579069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202342368875844,0.11094447831618387,0.11686226414187136,0.0,0.0,0.25298466148105225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480305609667818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979806281281235,0.0,0.0,0.10075299997569263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765273097207484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mlortt,2018/03/31,"I only have a few months until I can get out of my toxic household, but I feel like I cant make it until then. So I'm 18 and in September I will be moving away from my toxic family to go to university which I am really excited for. I have bipolar disorder as well as asd. I also am a recovered/ing anorexic I was at my worst about 1 and a half years ago. My home life is very toxic I have a good relationship with my sibling but I have a hude issue with my parents. I am constantly being belittled and being made fun of for my apearance, I have rather bad acne and have an alternative look. I dont understand why my parents think its okay to make fun of me because of these things I really struggle with my body image all teenagers do but I was really badly bullied in secondary school which didn't help and am currently being bullied by my parents. For example when my parents have friends over they say ""look at her hair, doesn't it look ridiculous"" ""you know you look stupid like that"" or ""when are you going to stop fucking up your apearance"" it effects me really negatively. And I am constantly being belittled I have Trichotillomania (I pick out my hair when I get nervous) so I grew out my leg hair because I would rather have patches in that then the hair on my scalp or eyebrows but I get made fun of. I dont eat meat because I dont agree with it but I constantly get told that Im not doing any good or im stupid for doing what Ive been told to do by idiot vegans. There's so many more things that I want to rant about but I could go for hours. I don't know I feel  like I am being bullied in my own home and I dont know what to do.",3.0266956521739132,3.9725478434782637,4.909681159420291,84.44191304347827,73.46376811594203,8.186666666666667,26.263768115942028,8.608573733854374,1.7134324637681164,1286,43,277,23,25,442,162,345,0.19,0.6829999999999999,0.127,-0.9841,5,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,4,1,1,13,22,5,2,7,1,44,11,7,6,1,44,71,29,0,5,12,4,6,3,1,2,2,1,2,0,16,14,1,1,8,0,0,5,10,10,1,1,8,11,56,12,43,54,5,34,0,0,4,1,16,13,1,3,19,202,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751657823921982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781064916281787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766360834093535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796678327644529,0.0,0.14160081324928733,0.15507100541140645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418829365087614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749002926477297,0.0,0.06770202577696229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718258583321422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975171274038055,0.0,0.0,0.08676660546279359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993731889212928,0.0,0.08574994920359144,0.1211553412460549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551252094613833,0.07839174788913386,0.17720786000800462,0.0,0.14457311001823658,0.1422442940078462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05683640025150088,0.0,0.17011289429219564,0.0,0.08350614002780099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318662136654731,0.08850410396634342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980358715050076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989332067238124,0.12427987832857708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28482627222503937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604704384617944,0.11320283937484285,0.08596897087481309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768267808366835,0.09012382278891036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449053101536813,0.0,0.0,0.3766199077818065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172877722675372,0.0,0.0,0.0910382551770247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743250506081082,0.0,0.08581721670058366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708925405436512,0.0,0.0886462996153863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266825690348722,0.05433330691460669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205079532392394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827473945512694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996487750734606,0.050014375214785724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624102147564478,0.0,0.07651443196396003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060236040196793884,0.0,0.0,0.05460529514785604
mentalhealth,adrianishereI,2018/03/31,"my life is awful I don't know what's wrong with me, I have tons of issues that i'm constantly struggling with. and I hope by this post my confusion and suffering come to an end. 

i'm 16 year old guy and i don't like my life at all i always daydream about the life i want to live which makes me feel that I'm living above a cloud refusing to come down to the real world and live my life, i always wish that i was living the story of one of the novels that i immerse my self in, i didn't say ""read"" because i don't just read them, i live inside it metaphorically and cry when it finishes not because it was beautiful but because i get hit with the real world that i always try to avoid afterwards. to clarify i'm not talking about high fantasy novels or sci-fi or any similar genre, i'm talking about teen life and contemporary novels the novels that take place irl and have realistic events and plot. 

i feel that time is running and my ""supposedly"" best days are approaching to its end and i'm not really doing something fun and this fact is stressing me out like nothing can ever do. I also feel like all my coming days will be as shitty as these days, i'll get an office job and rent a house and my daily routine will be going to work, come to home tired, eat, sleep and repeat until i die alone surrounded by my own dreams of the life i wanted to live. 

i'm constantly sad, happiness became rare and i have no enthusiasm. I told myself that maybe if you get a hobby things will be better. but reading makes things worse and i'm a shitty writer (which makes me sad too cause one of my dreams is to be a great novelist) i hate sports and i don't like any musical instrument, so all i do is listening to music, spend time scrolling down the feed on facebook and sleep. 

the school is awful, people bully me because i'm homosexual and i only have two friend, one prefers her boyfriend over me and we only meet whenever there's a school day but in vacations and weekends we rarely meet. the other one is a guy who later on i fell in love with him but i'll never confess my love to him because he's straight. anyway, that's my school life summed up. 

I tried to mention everything that makes me feel strange and sorry for the long post, this was the only way for me to vent and thank you in advance. btw i'm living in Egypt and English is my second language so sorry for any mistakes         

 ",4.313358572895279,4.893092642710472,5.392129748459961,83.50994000256674,70.21149897330596,8.387294661190966,26.717723305954827,8.472884824447931,1.6682608316221774,1875,56,388,28,32,621,230,487,0.159,0.7170000000000001,0.124,-0.9157,2,2,1,0,0,0,36.0,2,2,1,4,12,24,1,4,21,2,32,14,2,5,6,74,71,38,1,7,11,0,4,4,1,3,8,2,2,3,25,35,2,2,7,12,2,9,10,10,0,6,5,6,56,14,48,58,6,54,1,3,0,2,26,19,0,5,27,239,81,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785700856709583,0.0,0.05239481340154754,0.16354896226315555,0.0,0.0,0.13366369602931896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996961758669238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875722021147691,0.05794544900517023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730515255178894,0.0,0.2257522209934005,0.0,0.14160361452692788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196857353036235,0.1690150576220961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679974600517554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704138890918487,0.0,0.0,0.1160592072896174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059264886573953714,0.0,0.0,0.05888345769944633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251171145483995,0.046806154900140416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061913361419371,0.0,0.1026915337749562,0.0,0.03723545498042701,0.0,0.0,0.07223395378586354,0.0,0.12974647044245302,0.0,0.06974525239691054,0.0,0.06468557493129913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922348636158915,0.06572001200162518,0.06507427209581967,0.0,0.0755991088111626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838389058116234,0.0650166201557566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036007042905752185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239416787126717,0.1280353674038816,0.0,0.4049758751670389,0.05798147060131701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826531471559194,0.0,0.17493540376907302,0.0,0.06582175338773495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050531609840727985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286639898427036,0.0,0.06875024102465394,0.0,0.177587083103308,0.14948843789728938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045422011880586234,0.0,0.06845248601756447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549648779505615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19660753730002514,0.14914791866509902,0.041972582562438014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052102635256843687,0.0,0.19892349260089587,0.0,0.0,0.06834968357644362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311308640673068,0.0,0.0,0.050439046340651,0.0,0.1466843328104883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505078009625707,0.06849375996878942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926146912674803,0.10532195912915944,0.0,0.06032027823943435,0.0,0.0,0.08705464952210941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640828021794682,0.0753034358172364,0.0,0.0626053672055463,0.0,0.08896499958698575,0.0,0.06400167881997021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728856423367078,0.05200523057309114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534259956161317,0.0,0.0,0.0476979684986168,0.0,0.06676855720036162,0.0,0.07163377423978855,0.0,0.0421915183725614
mentalhealth,autoplay55,2018/03/31,"My friend keeps trying to kill himself I'm a furry, which mean I have a lot of friends that I don't know in real life. I live in Australia and the friend I'm worried about lives in the US. He keeps trying to kill himself and no matter what I say, he persists. He's tried 3 times in the past month and I'm not sure what to do. He keeps getting angry because he wakes up in a hospital and ""I thought this time it would work"". He's my age, 14. One time I convinced him to stop, the other time he just didn't tell me. This time he didn't tell me but his brother took his phone while he was at the hospital and told me. 

His family is amazing and supportive. He has someone helping him but nothing seems to be working. I try to support him as much as I can. 

It's kinda dragging me down too. Last night I got no sleep because of it. But at the same time, I feel like I need to help him. He says that I'm the only people that matters to him. 

I really need some advice here. Please. ",0.3914285714285733,2.239935857142857,2.3014285714285734,96.37357142857144,83.28571428571428,4.9523809523809526,20.952380952380953,5.916634753146586,-0.06233333333333356,750,23,176,5,21,249,116,210,0.079,0.762,0.16,0.955,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,4,11,2,0,10,0,11,3,2,0,1,31,31,12,2,3,5,1,1,1,3,1,1,2,0,0,12,6,0,4,5,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,7,3,29,9,22,22,4,23,0,0,0,0,34,9,0,4,14,105,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067450396464102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317960720065344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297883252723207,0.0,0.0552334615461112,0.0780388670077449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531884862958578,0.0,0.05707177445774416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736673218864566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146438390080314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912843418198882,0.2417089019488633,0.0,0.06003374638782238,0.08904265751480804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715725676694216,0.053367634184202636,0.0,0.1929163774717331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286931057884353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899101382098162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719185566854065,0.0,0.08030169439078577,0.1619955623606594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251143575893533,0.0,0.10481575681779803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402175413767441,0.0830795889212361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427898656890576,0.07573111595976545,0.0,0.0,0.11990931884595685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433551328900867,0.0699799587372614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373914316339908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944517597830044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931579493542773,0.0,0.09255607541487758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132694417642616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24792149134783545,0.10295449052556616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095574017269693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672190096620963,0.3821815078128306,0.0,0.0,0.1043805443055098,0.12136622118951493,0.2966587529321719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139854714919566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590515361983727,0.11093537986727084,0.0,0.07759876339985697,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stuckandrunningfrom,2018/03/31,"Thoughts on cultivating self worth? 




This is not a pity party post. It's something I've been working on in therapy and am curious if other people have done similar work and might have some thoughts. 

So I've been in therapy for a few months with a new therapist that I really resonate with (thank goodness.) My depression is thankfully under control with meds that I am very happy with, so I'm in therapy to work on some of the more deep seated issues that I struggle with, since my day to day life is pretty good.

One of the things we were talking about the other day was feelings of self worth, and how I know that I have worth when it comes to work, since I know my clients like and need me, and when it comes to family and friends, I feel worthy. But the place I struggle is feeling like I'm ""worthy"" of having a romantic relationship. I am not in one now, and the ones I've been in in the past haven't always been the healthiest, so it's hard for me to find ""proof"" that I'm worthy of romantic love or believe that I deserve it. (I mean I could say ""I deserve it because everyone does"" but I don't know if I believe that.)

I""m just wondering if anyone else has worked through this and has any thoughts or can talk about how they overcame a disbelief that they were worthy of romantic love? I hate to think that it requires waiting for someone to actually love me (and, probably more importantly, for me to love them) for me to believe it.",9.105754936120787,6.1537046132404205,8.991158536585367,73.19860772357723,62.10104529616725,12.632868757259002,39.9445412311266,10.864195022040775,4.07679349593496,1132,46,229,22,12,371,136,287,0.045,0.752,0.203,0.9916,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,3,7,11,17,1,2,12,0,26,5,0,3,1,51,52,23,0,5,10,0,4,2,1,1,1,1,0,2,22,17,0,3,13,0,3,2,4,5,0,3,11,5,28,12,38,39,5,24,0,2,0,4,15,12,0,9,11,161,50,6,0.0,0.0,0.08610179674051012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341617087008108,0.0,0.0,0.060000849965807186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169393207392141,0.0904042077499924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378546595468309,0.0,0.0,0.2982220691267509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200827386557106,0.0,0.0,0.09895979667126174,0.07044614806286736,0.0,0.0,0.17070720536018053,0.0,0.0759941738296806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721250060912488,0.09029206635042973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370659338050325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430954753630991,0.0,0.0,0.08317736637564249,0.0,0.13383839439044773,0.06303302604374267,0.0,0.0,0.08064253604603946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816789745328111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480097896891082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392470541836112,0.0790386262520328,0.08711092671461493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209138339116006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547015524423876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232093778055154,0.08621148933625415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185316409110533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611061719290356,0.09800596664828727,0.0,0.0,0.09360030921567296,0.0,0.0,0.07042601616207388,0.0,0.0,0.06542298019419476,0.0,0.08521510681678304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936505238731212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422751800792543,0.0611690249698249,0.0,0.09218375965958976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450195706591014,0.08976376026421032,0.09512912110723197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652373914126746,0.0,0.0,0.09472824970871263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016570303839254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840906348383946,0.0,0.0,0.14597300091072202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475876746844097,0.06792537708758171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844786851283788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183523100604858,0.0,0.16246451678604618,0.30270326918835233,0.102444262370537,0.05861748313083023,0.056535563592456775,0.0,0.21013928258172165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280071849430599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568394291294974,0.3211700787023964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LKgoddessofpain,2018/03/31,"I feel so alone . I’m 24F I’ve been dealing with bipolar disorder and high anxiety and depression since I was 14. Every since I was first diagnosed with depression at 14 because I attempted to kill myself after several times of trying to reach out to my mom and dad . I was ignored . ( for a little back round my parents aren’t from the US and back where we are from mental illnesses don’t exist . They literally think I’m just acting out ... yeah 24 ur old with a job and 4 years old child and responsibilities but I’m just trying to act out .. someone who just works and comes home to there child EVERY day . Yeah does that make sense to you ? Cause to then I’m just crazy and acting out ) anyways after being hospitalized the first time they diagnosed me with severe depression. I was on meds and few months released. For the next year my depression got worse and worse no matter how much they up or change my prescription. After the second suicidal attempt where I almost died and had to have my stomach pumped cause I try to overdose on meds , they realized I was bipolar along with depression and I needed mood stabilizers not just depression pills . ( if you know about this when giving depression pills to someone who’s bipolar only worsens the systems . So after being on lithium for awhile I was doing way better and at the time had a very supportive boyfriend throughout my whole process 14-19 ( he ended being he father to my child ) we broke up at 20 and wasn’t on good terms and still aren’t . The last few years were stable for me .but the last few months I’ve been going thru it really bad . I have this thing where I keep everything to myself knowing it only makes it worse for me . The last year i was dating someone & the other day I locked myself in the bathroom contemplating suicide and he was so scared he broke open the door & I still live in my mothers , it’s a 3 family and I’m in the attic . He was so nervous about everything he thought calling my mom was a good idea ( I know the one who doesn’t believe everything I’m going thru is Daly no matter how many doctors I had . Oh she’s thrown my meds away countless times behind my back and pretend she had no idea where they went ) yup & when she came up she was Only Upset about her door which was wasn’t evern badly broke it just cracked . And I’m getting it fixed myself of course . But she was so upset she went to his family house and told them I was crazy and how I fake try to cut and hurt myself for attention that he needs to stay away from me and now they think I’m crazy and just shocked a mother would be like that about their child that they want nothing to do with me . Now my bf broke up with me stating we need space to work on ourselves alone ... but I know it’s cause he wanted to get out of this and away from me , I feel it’s just an excuse to distance himself cause his family hates me now . My father doesn’t talk to me for over years so he isn’t an option .i don’t have much family. That can help me . I have only one friend and she already has a lot on her plate with her child and child father situation I hate to burden her . But yesterday I went to her job ( she works for a family resource company that’ helps abused and homeless and basically hopeless family’s get back together . After leaving I felt way better I have another appointment Monday after work which is the only thing keeping me positive the women that met me understood I don’t want to be here but I KNOW I CANT leave my child like that I can’t ruin her life . Shes is the only thing I have to keep me going on everyday . Two days of being alone . Not the mention I have to find housing in my area cause I have no car no other way but to walk to work. . I can afford a new apt I just have so much trouble finding one . I’ve been looking for one for months .    I just feel so lost and hopeless. I losing everything ... my house , my mom my dad,my sisters and bf . I have no support now yesterday I called suicidal hitline (NOT FOR EVEYRTHING CRAZY) just wanted someone to listen to me . Someone to vent to I very so alone and unheard like no one cares ",2.64799823779758,4.590759149271847,3.834279159462696,87.67728554329035,76.43932038834951,6.796621891208937,23.30223433967283,7.7129715018208636,1.0749563971272775,3225,99,655,47,73,1049,315,824,0.232,0.693,0.075,-0.9994,6,5,0,0,1,6,70.0,4,2,9,13,46,44,4,4,29,3,61,11,1,10,0,121,117,56,5,9,23,11,5,3,3,1,10,1,3,8,29,52,0,4,19,1,0,13,22,32,0,9,35,7,112,11,99,75,9,105,0,17,2,0,80,36,0,5,53,440,141,8,0.0,0.05371977976029387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045400863821111234,0.18783179549158768,0.050033159725952805,0.0,0.0,0.14737567580423758,0.0,0.0,0.04754231828689312,0.03468451994413055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779358755908113,0.139452812100254,0.07571301698772133,0.02763847984014771,0.0,0.0,0.0510819822117712,0.0,0.08019803670276336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259320142257547,0.05185619959634224,0.04622654406893398,0.23288028599760435,0.04796307761880412,0.0390558819022691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772049419243716,0.04674293465526403,0.2733553354712921,0.0920370813024004,0.047055143160930506,0.0,0.051962884981085145,0.046406801167018764,0.03967681795841875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04015725447686095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640080664865534,0.0,0.16299253117684728,0.0,0.25645172980374004,0.0,0.06877489484454395,0.0,0.043532937987350334,0.0,0.08287878768754191,0.0771313477248981,0.0,0.0,0.035029111044518564,0.0,0.07106390179159859,0.04349368766741237,0.07730228438383313,0.07605708188739298,0.03626206319496667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952654956589955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078009354631265,0.04790356960927701,0.04547911893945382,0.0,0.0,0.15694675441878586,0.04853676969081927,0.1023653367209662,0.0,0.0,0.08998472492767724,0.1208992364275448,0.05016133291062237,0.0,0.12458675349361055,0.11087299683629598,0.0,0.09601576464015944,0.0,0.0,0.0320245618754726,0.06645162780638801,0.04544199387523912,0.04003552436938453,0.0,0.03807368032123976,0.050723195681528895,0.049493315318230285,0.0385459399100734,0.0,0.0,0.060528808443753086,0.04596703933333097,0.0,0.0,0.15108557034934605,0.0,0.045691455268683,0.0,0.0,0.15930288589723918,0.10856843907742984,0.0,0.09998903622859816,0.10085578066962136,0.0,0.04378907889012392,0.04821897049543609,0.0,0.0,0.043504380927838066,0.0,0.0951521551334785,0.0,0.15361576764407567,0.2068959587845437,0.0,0.0,0.05034404256138952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029045583170404163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045392652905431985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244124229485324,0.0,0.07501044699094166,0.050963389718369896,0.0,0.0,0.19207964929519133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048325772041403314,0.07241621316901821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878184720824014,0.10290123667706512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03644209549180306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903644561054837,0.05810331868903159,0.0,0.03599442229834285,0.10575108427871828,0.0,0.0,0.04332374347890887,0.0,0.12312991657898452,0.0,0.04429000961390829,0.0,0.05453772049253984,0.0,0.0,0.07481951321750895,0.10696942067983213,0.10796492550772108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609024517230316,0.0,0.05061982537851042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503813043013987,0.0,0.1386141783231513,0.03220781173526117,0.0,0.0,0.14598544825694953
mentalhealth,fiveidontknow,2018/03/31,I don't feel real I don't feel real and I don't know what this mean. The fact I am concerned means what though? If I'm concerned does this mean that there's a bit of me that knows I'm real/alive I don't feel like what I'm experiencing is real and it's all a dream. If I tell my therapist what happens? Will he think I'm just making it up? When I'm laying in bed I feel like my legs are moving when there not. I just don't feel like I'm real or the people around me are real sometimes.  I have a diagnosis of CPTSD. I don't want any sort of diagnosis or anything I just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks guys ,-0.30262076053442755,1.3968003669064757,2.4591212744090463,95.115773381295,84.89928057553956,5.122507708119219,16.403391572456318,6.18269132825596,-0.6178205549845841,477,9,119,4,14,167,70,139,0.069,0.889,0.042,-0.2942,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,0,12,2,2,1,2,33,35,9,0,4,8,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,11,3,0,0,11,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,16,4,8,34,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,5,5,68,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318292837239375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855923181677541,0.09580152464557648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748937454126455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417594758659477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27207074665703457,0.2306438041802693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562251934067079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655728071680184,0.09516493900671412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828645713771213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577279968342428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183486711877818,0.0,0.0,0.35167783879043885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143793365966829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460774931566652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7349470047236167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643549649152438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406158758284493,0.09907883889798516,0.0,0.12495108185130965,0.0,0.06895632483935621,0.1057326909226328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695003119793727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ftsffm,2018/03/31,"Getting really paranoid before i go to sleep Like the title says, lately some nights right before i fall asleep i get a weird bout of paranoia, it changes in intensity. I dont ever get these besides right before bed.
 
For example, some nights i think i see smoke filling up the apartment darkness, but its not there. Its not sleep paralysis or anything, i'm totally awake.
Some nights i think, theres IS poisonous natural gas filling up my apartment and im not going to wake up in the morning.
Usually those poisonous gas nights are the worst. There are some other scenarios.

It isn't a consistant thing, but it has started this year. I'm in my second year of college and its really been keeping me up.  My question: Is this normal? Should i tell someone about this? Do other people experience this?",3.8347428571428566,6.289886760000003,4.6365714285714335,80.90400000000002,74.73333333333333,7.219047619047619,29.380952380952376,8.192908349453996,2.3802952380952385,634,28,109,11,14,204,90,150,0.146,0.821,0.033,-0.9537,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,6,0,10,6,4,0,2,20,22,5,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,15,2,0,1,3,0,0,5,5,4,0,1,1,2,12,1,13,20,6,26,0,0,1,0,3,11,0,6,11,75,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386127843693905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532111549843118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463701174505517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621608594583479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515760528130698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534594264810107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686747740417636,0.0,0.15727020319510118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945620157842734,0.0,0.0,0.12298373606064532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560799275780988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759736203825276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5193786640149803,0.1355667422415366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959237511901644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499865974338892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772782578240994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632315352738895,0.0,0.11003211909390344,0.0,0.0,0.11025770572320588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769266234004002,0.0,0.11723484906721432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793431769515416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093569912789247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919224864219952,0.1773153434475633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523877232971428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820297002012034
mentalhealth,neopolitan22,2018/03/31,"I need to get on medicine again ASAP. Please help me find a path. It’s overwhelming. Hey guys, I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in the past and I used to take lithium and lamotrigine. I’ve been self medicating for years but I’m 8 months sober and currently unmedicated. Since quitting my mental health has improved a lot and I thought getting sober would be enough. But I have a consistent pattern, every spring I have a terrible mixed episode, and I’m having one now. I feel terrible and I just want to be on lithium again. It’s the only way to take the edge off, besides relapsing. I need medication and help ASAP. Where do I start? I have united health care and an hsa card. Can I go to a general practitioner? I’ve called a few psychiatric offices and there’s a long wait. I’m in the US in FL.",1.7661319444444459,4.279783793749999,3.5116666666666667,85.71777777777781,82.9375,7.305555555555558,25.76388888888889,8.344100000000001,1.9775347222222224,637,27,129,15,18,212,99,160,0.066,0.797,0.13699999999999998,0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,12,0,12,6,0,1,0,24,29,11,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,2,10,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,1,14,1,13,23,3,19,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,10,74,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635846164937842,0.0,0.16333707803963832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260211783097053,0.0,0.0,0.1836058907337648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553195904006535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349774763526954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100317391698574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464221399739912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673983394392968,0.0,0.09104674605868453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862561572826478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340575432836985,0.0,0.0,0.21476065500432565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417741298641882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619839687375654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227742350274578,0.16144639287411094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787206977725238,0.0,0.0,0.2375761783592991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855732840587386,0.12184118470866298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293136892889184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585418579347034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039502875932905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712609761441236,0.0,0.0,0.1325211248290287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339212097996425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24090461483112624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718285310640795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270382607252928,0.13836348294373807,0.0,0.0,0.09449155763938316,0.12716125059303002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380322636802402,0.0,0.0,0.10316512746027058
mentalhealth,g65tj7gfrrxh,2018/03/31,"SSRIS not working I took the maximum dose of lexapro for 2 months. I did not feel better in any way. Then, I quit cold turkey and did not get any withdrawls. 3 days later, I have been taking paxil for 1 week and still dont feel better.

Any thoughts?

",0.6441176470588239,2.969540372549023,2.0700980392156865,95.36044117647059,86.45098039215686,4.184313725490196,18.303921568627448,5.46131890053228,-0.4316431372549019,193,5,41,1,6,62,39,51,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.5875,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,8,11,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,3,4,2,4,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4945719347444328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4288104201134131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634406823294505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841202918828653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245154725843212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266570556047196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935013203394543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25784882579631874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360091636108093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18227342814929234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924583690832443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693430924793903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242567926389148,0.19445871034942191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648828563415953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Its_Blazertron,2018/03/31,"A question about thinking/talking to myself. I suppose this is the right place to post this.

I've been doing this for a while, can't remember when I started, it could've been my whole life for all I know. I'll start with something that happens when I read.

When I read, I can't read in my head, I have to mouth/whisper the words to comprehend it, and for stuff that I can't really understand in the text, I'll sort of talk to myself to figure out what it means, in some cases, with pretty complicated text which is difficult to take in. If I just read in my head without mouthing it, I hear the words but feel like my brain is restricting me from comprehending them properly, and they sort of flash past. The text doesn't really stick unless I mouth it. When I mouth it, it's pretty much just my mouth moving with a little bit of air coming out, I suppose it's like whispering, but less breathy. No has mentioned it, but I've known that I do it for a while.

Along with reading, I do the same when I think. I'll sometimes talk to myself (mouth/whisper), like I'm talking to another person, or audience. A lot of the time it feels like I'm talking like I'm recording a youtube video, which is something I never do. Could this be from years of watching youtube, and just picking up on that? Note that I never do this around people, only on my own.

It's really hard to explain what I do, but an example would be if I read something, or heard something in a video, etc. Like if someone said an opinion, or something, I'd reply to it (in my weird whisper/mouthing thing) like I'm actually talking to the person. Like if someone said something that was incorrect, I would talk to myself like I'm speaking to them, like ""no, actually it's this."", or something like that. It's not just for facts that are correct or incorrect, I'll sort of pause the video when I hear something that intrigues me and reply to it, in my head. Just note that I'm completely aware that they are on a screen, because I'm sure there's some sort of thing where you can genuinly believe you are there with them, it's not that. I speak to them like they are there, but it's just me thinking a reply in my head.

Can anyone explain what this is? Is this normal. I do have social anxiety. If this helps. And possibly depression, but I don't really think I have it, some people say they think though.",5.6311320754716965,5.279590939203351,6.043815513626836,83.19767295597485,67.28092243186583,9.163102725366878,31.29350104821804,8.626192665926032,2.207399161425577,1846,65,387,25,27,596,174,477,0.041,0.841,0.119,0.9889,0,0,8,0,0,0,72.0,0,2,8,0,19,16,0,0,20,0,36,10,9,1,6,80,64,31,0,9,26,0,3,12,0,2,1,9,0,2,48,15,0,1,15,9,0,2,12,3,0,0,6,14,52,13,55,53,12,39,0,1,2,0,32,21,0,20,27,268,100,6,0.0,0.0,0.1244569417239737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686641710629995,0.0487824250328028,0.0,0.0,0.04458814101166303,0.0,0.0,0.056767132199177485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038872444335237136,0.0,0.0,0.07184481641339205,0.0,0.0,0.0696182537935277,0.0,0.0,0.07118629346229302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05493057519770731,0.06685964382393557,0.0,0.0,0.10182728440106606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054923374550395296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111829231711561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448613881729888,0.09111189250387436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638992378573013,0.0,0.05712369586803295,0.0,0.26177788728373824,0.0,0.14374257550586567,0.0,0.04274241594933026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03504528228830695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504129771480272,0.3738464948622021,0.06391239270806362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05421336166713416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946215953589098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777540279718214,0.04687689370532591,0.0,0.09836378599521144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624792026871873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048498516606516745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060873870796562035,0.08841754834600314,0.11135969755618863,0.06662409634973658,0.0,0.0,0.0718889559466166,0.0610722165172055,0.1297501736670656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143487051636484,0.0,0.382712163435532,0.0,0.1634059212382503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223683100344917,0.054457612408381116,0.12131613934002995,0.05071095577940622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500355153966457,0.1080610151982844,0.3927344152060263,0.06306828542001122,0.0,0.0902707844731576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299922271540428,0.0,0.0,0.06010068337246356,0.0,0.04794567818308152,0.35878070561780145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472938960851382,0.16344010484621888,0.06265183842934813,0.0,0.03718369426241098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638484518572506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119481084582886,0.0,0.06147017670326474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059806299622056,0.0,0.0,0.041064568268184345
mentalhealth,inkwhale,2018/03/31,"Reconnect with someone who Assaulted me When I was in middle school a boy who was stronger than me and physically larger than me tried to kiss me, I rejected it. Later he and I were hanging out alone and he tried to kiss me, three more times. Each time he would press me backwards against the sofa and get right up in my face, encouraging me to make the first move. I was never in physical danger, but I was dominated. I felt small and weak and alone and I fully feel that I was assaulted by him since he exerted physical dominance over me to attempt to get me to do something against my will. Since then I have ended the friendship. It's been about a year. Now I feel the urge to reconnect with him but I don't know why. He hurt me, he scared me, why do I feel the need to be his friend again?",3.3459259259259246,4.510679086419753,4.461419753086421,87.12138888888893,72.95061728395059,8.362962962962964,26.462962962962962,8.841846274778883,1.7516444444444441,620,21,136,12,12,203,91,162,0.14400000000000002,0.742,0.114,-0.8027,0,3,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,4,11,3,1,7,0,14,4,1,1,1,22,23,11,0,2,2,0,5,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,5,11,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,7,0,2,8,5,28,4,22,12,2,23,0,2,0,2,14,10,0,0,11,94,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3842390745644846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429578663033767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28137943183874675,0.0,0.1781067551588382,0.0,0.0,0.15778413655771947,0.0,0.0,0.14331496087056445,0.0,0.1938296462739056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857898306876565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194461217834112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238210670352681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971545583952944,0.0,0.13754409622201774,0.14306715998434053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841390950881773,0.0,0.0,0.1857154258549501,0.1877334420328068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30689101021513243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717148738251932,0.14280509041806375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21633024723583266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518813445491986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33476540559212825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177215010392795,0.0,0.0,0.11945435199898083
mentalhealth,Taz_JS,2018/03/31,"Is it still considered IED? I'm ALWAYS angry.  People will just tell me that ""everybody gets angry from time to time, it's nothing unusual"".  But I'd say it's pretty unusual for me to blow my top over the smallest things (and sometimes even over nothing at all,) and have the extreme urge to hurt people. But I don't act out because I know if I actually did what I wanted to do, then A LOT of people would hate me (even my family members).  For example, the other day my dog was sitting near where I was eating and not even a crumb dropped, and she came over and started licking the floor even though she had her food right next to her.  I got SO mad and started kicking her over and over again until I realized what I was doing and stopped and hoped that I didn't seriously hurt her.  And it's stuff like this that happens every day but I get mad like that at everybody.  But I used to always wear a smile on my face even though in my mind I felt like punching my fist through a wall.  Eventually, smiling started to make me even madder than I normally would be.  So, I decided to whatever facial expression matched with how I was actually feeling.  When I started doing that people would constantly say ""Why are you always so angry?"" ""Why so serious?"" ""You have a real shit personality, you know that?""  Naturally, I wanted to bash their heads in.  But mostly everybody says ""You're a nasty somebody"" and ""What a rotten person you are!"", so I've given up and just reply with ""Don't you think I know that, Captain Obvious?"" Needless to say, it doesn't take much for me to piss somebody off.  But I've never acted out on what I felt like I needed to do, and I only ever verbally abuse somebody if I'm REALLY mad at them (And with that being said, I verbally abuse people a lot).  But if what I want to say is really nasty, I just keep it to myself.

Is it still IED if I hold back as much as I can on lashing out?

(I'm from the US)",4.692147766323025,4.888278128865983,6.103659793814432,80.0969673539519,69.25773195876289,9.147079037800687,29.310996563573884,9.075114841892004,2.2759017182130585,1486,51,303,26,24,506,183,388,0.161,0.769,0.07,-0.9926,0,0,0,0,2,0,58.0,1,5,2,1,24,17,7,0,13,0,28,8,6,3,4,69,59,38,0,13,15,0,3,4,0,4,0,6,0,2,24,21,2,3,9,0,0,3,6,12,0,0,13,11,52,5,47,40,6,49,0,2,0,0,25,24,2,8,24,222,76,0,0.0,0.19452238079784845,0.16021264272838634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491207848210544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312082146403987,0.0,0.05004025448474269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388712546495498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870826990208441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588030114306242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399680533346347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32531121441483396,0.07425355025692454,0.06916291759984695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773855261254909,0.0,0.041506301601813,0.0,0.15763524679755986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926147582659044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577547802670928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565349762044859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259039622716246,0.0,0.0,0.08104518318896445,0.08424625928579799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153218563018966,0.0,0.0,0.1757544062657074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296383632331596,0.0,0.0,0.13534071815032628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041675160087426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957704284819772,0.0,0.0,0.05479456532525885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288576357346356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206886641981698,0.060867420593253015,0.06331154327258648,0.0,0.08730181864340285,0.0,0.08042908687469857,0.15753184005930249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243183711816904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845483925576278,0.14335264222127447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835132935524456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934344357556053,0.10517571023522802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010294387576356,0.07808475373104637,0.32639948114424894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842624413164588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811874093925433,0.0,0.2324100325988213,0.0,0.13111161528266166,0.06862947900149433,0.0,0.0,0.09397144286488708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061720171673128675,0.0,0.0717487762159226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453580667300066,0.05259885620380249,0.16130263957183882,0.0,0.09573267415485057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874209537748134,0.07089791888433457,0.0,0.0,0.14525338578305713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814381207141344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493947984302785,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aquarithyst,2018/04/01,"Why did no one question my mental health when I was younger... I possessed very psychotic/sadistic behavior when I was younger and I'm just wondering why the hell I was never ever assessed... No seriously.

[Elementary] I was obsessed with animals and humans being trapped in cages and would draw them screaming and crying for help. I even asked my dad when I was little for a pound cart (from Lady and the Tramp) because I wanted to go around the city and capture dogs and put them in the pound.

One time my mom went to get gas in the car and when she went inside to pay, I attacked my 3 year old sister (I was 7) and made her bleed. When my mom came back, I told her that my sister did it to herself. The scratches I inflicted on her were so deep that she had scars on her skin for years after that.

[Elementary - Middle school] Then I had a thing for hiding people's things... I would hide them and never tell them where it was. Or I would wait a very long time before finally telling them. A pretty bizarre example is one time I hid my cousin's Nintendo DSI at my grandparents' house and then dug it out and gave it to her 4 years later. I also purposely broke people's things and returned it to them and pretended it was an accident and laughed when they cried and panicked. Or I would just steal it and keep it.

[Middle school] I have also tried to murder my little brothers several times when they were infants by attempting to suffocate them or pushing them off high places. I remember hating one of my brothers for literally no reason (he was a sweet-natured kid who did practically nothing to me) and I kept trying to kill him and wish he was dead. I have also secretly wished death to other people for no reason. Like my friends at school. They did nothing to me.

[Middle school - high school] I also pulled cruel heartbreaking jokes as well. Such as faking my own death to make people cry and panic cuz I thought it was funny. Or I'd tell other people that their friends died for the same reason. On top of that, I would attack people at school and sometimes end up bruising them and making them cry. These jokes were also on social media.

I dunno... Is this even normal. BTW I'm fine now. It finally stopped after high school was over. ",3.6383995922528034,5.491387926605505,4.370489296636084,85.29956167176351,73.40366972477064,7.046279306829766,24.955147808358817,7.793537801064563,1.3459869520897052,1760,56,338,24,36,563,219,436,0.212,0.716,0.07200000000000001,-0.9966,1,1,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,14,2,25,23,7,2,13,0,31,3,1,7,3,62,53,44,6,9,6,8,2,1,2,5,2,1,0,3,23,26,0,4,8,4,1,8,6,15,1,4,29,3,63,8,44,18,2,66,1,2,0,0,49,27,1,7,32,238,86,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559310919570505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056979626188591335,0.05983772187466264,0.14563396076201335,0.0,0.04921728171565122,0.0,0.03901795390133747,0.0,0.05446507626066775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320673268033916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812338766290618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642895764502399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669103051414656,0.0,0.0,0.08455178134966121,0.057897819081209737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023265128806214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890299668033782,0.0,0.03344091354023554,0.0,0.03637654200473519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319346802196274,0.0,0.06803624003426825,0.0,0.0,0.04290241181543094,0.20288010934768094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385525861401104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05689218872769514,0.07081404572379135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031270491544330724,0.1283032664939407,0.0,0.05664400775910537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056478598773391,0.08545007797898564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450380432171296,0.0,0.0,0.14992799155954548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873198696803204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271307842689905,0.12283251028031494,0.0,0.06716437416391446,0.0,0.17349066881018674,0.0,0.0,0.0750981939823623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662455539725129,0.0,0.06687348749344936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511793098437801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434451726745721,0.07170226962622342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19742896586986808,0.0,0.0,0.07250723205786001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534481228254257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230947021279742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524687656697559,0.0,0.0,0.0633043662480398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351255455284648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783430490289453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275698302886239,0.0,0.0,0.05081425310164631,0.14929152960901165,0.0,0.0,0.06116124460065101,0.0,0.08691283740532726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562463400757256,0.03775287162208266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057549804106231214,0.1186698979585888,0.11551237078406985,0.0,0.14720933256433294,0.0,0.06941264907551876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734298717180465,0.0,0.0,0.1236548505554559
mentalhealth,EffervescentFlower,2018/04/01,"I Feel Like I'm Drowning (Virginia, USA) Life just feels like it sucks.

I have a chronic illness-Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome-and I'm so scared of having attacks. I can barely go to bed at night without anxiety and OCD and depression filling my brain. I feel ugly and want to starve myself, I feel like I'll never amount to anything because I can never see loving myself. My family is falling apart-my divorced parents hate each other more and more every time, they used to be close, even after the divorce, but now it seems like they're hating each other. My brothers are either absent, uncaring, or violent, one's just been found with cocaine and would've beat my mom up if his friends hadn't been there to stop him. 

The only reason I don't kill myself is my dog, no one would take proper care of him if I wasn't around to do it. 

I know it can be so much worse, but it feels like I can't breathe. Therapy's only once a week and sometimes it feels like it's not enough. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified something will happen to my brother, I'm terrified something will happen to my mom, and I feel a responsibility to stay here at home because my mom needs me. 

I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel better, I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, I just want everything to get better. I would give anything for things to be okay again with my family and with my head and my body. I just want to feel better, get better, and have the same for my family. I want it so bad. I just need some support to feel like someone out there knows what I'm going through. I feel like I'm in unending pain but that I don't deserve to feel bad-my mom has it worse dealing with my brother. I feel so alone. ",3.6710986964618217,4.240496198324024,4.862136871508382,86.77167830540041,71.6536312849162,7.530912476722532,26.36918063314711,7.492282038375204,1.22141303538175,1341,41,289,14,24,444,167,358,0.17,0.67,0.16,-0.8283,1,1,3,0,2,1,41.0,0,0,1,5,18,27,6,1,9,1,31,9,4,3,2,70,80,21,2,10,15,8,13,8,1,4,4,0,2,0,16,19,0,1,21,0,0,4,14,10,0,2,5,16,44,17,36,68,10,23,0,1,2,1,18,8,1,5,18,184,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053740163007799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210099615440579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209106913954274,0.06062888703087627,0.0,0.07748054476239327,0.0,0.0,0.11373153248970573,0.08303371845334356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409373177758889,0.0,0.07565054701095425,0.0,0.0760289550884641,0.0,0.0,0.06943872939993123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702144202267292,0.058659702224990486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060321808243002165,0.07037182891219702,0.0,0.04498345059987742,0.0,0.05738234433988034,0.0,0.06120939005153255,0.0,0.19261316878275608,0.0,0.4476745148232526,0.3405851851810427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467484636490708,0.05261862014415908,0.0,0.07116527449757791,0.06533359716527519,0.07741255614697598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045203576214095,0.0,0.0,0.1344813888779073,0.06989652876782629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683159924020002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534933213104665,0.0,0.1871467148778847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810536740333003,0.26618568440111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061468433247781125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190602631524416,0.0,0.0,0.050065835329616656,0.10099965151181237,0.1050552782569378,0.0,0.0,0.06391298092831202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253079612731313,0.09230094038691712,0.10359554800776724,0.07246971458820603,0.0,0.07562378756036572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700244354518868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818610833517977,0.0,0.108543521424029,0.062001254676210586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770609531507667,0.10486283862780912,0.06735869514324919,0.0,0.0,0.07259206318390808,0.0,0.05693976675065901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728601902276902,0.0,0.0,0.05120732708464912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788528487686444,0.0,0.04524668053289575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03971322685310888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058821821513365326,0.0,0.0,0.1606830189507083,0.0,0.0546306221725635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565187027651609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881191154620065,0.14514190290628215,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway18798250,2018/04/01,"I'm in an odd place, and I don't know what to think I'm definitely not a mentally healthy person, but I don't have the means to pursue help. I'm just looking for a bit of insight here. I don't know what to think.

So there seems to be at least 4 main categories of things wrong with me.

1. I suffer from chronic depression. I actually did get this diagnosed back when I had to means to see a psychologist. I may also have some mild degree of mania, or at least a mildly obsessive personality which drives me to somewhat manic behavior.

2. I have intimacy issues. I have difficulty getting close to people, and even more difficulty comfortably imagining myself actually being in an intimate scenario with anyone (fantasizing is fine, but actually considering the possibility is disturbing to me). I have no memory of every being sexually assaulted or abused, and my family isn't at all conservative about this kind of stuff (not super open though), so I don't know where this comes from.

3. I don't know if I've experienced hallucinations or dissociation, but I've felt as if I have. Kind of like I have some sort of paranoia about the possibility of these symptoms, and any mild hallucinations or dissociation set of alarm bells in my head.

4. I fluctuate between feelings of grandeur that I recognize are unrealistic, but still feel are very real, and feelings of worthlessness, which I fully know aren't valid.

The 3rd and 4th categories don't really have a significant negative impact on my life. They just make me feel kind of uncomfortable. The 1st and 2nd obviously have significant impacts on my life.",6.420858585858586,7.7059383838383875,8.040557239057241,63.86528030303032,65.83501683501683,11.865925925925927,33.36851851851852,11.602472056035307,4.432196094276094,1288,55,222,44,20,449,163,297,0.191,0.731,0.077,-0.989,0,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,1,1,15,15,1,3,12,0,27,6,1,1,2,53,51,23,0,2,14,0,5,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,11,12,0,1,17,0,0,2,12,8,0,0,3,8,27,7,38,44,9,18,0,3,2,0,4,12,0,12,4,157,38,0,0.0,0.13784636310062925,0.3405993186840453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303873466289647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911661696757788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134910081936772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945989288280673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270154399403337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021841679058344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020527952648453,0.1180847816627703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684285924496535,0.0,0.09802323633366566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967697690388988,0.0,0.2353042440916301,0.0,0.11170666006856768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156788993331705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940055843186878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798165667897919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143092489397796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36345717920345255,0.3196928754406881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643517305589495,0.05683887298186448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769806178576534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765925459874203,0.0,0.0,0.25346130567489394,0.0,0.0,0.11724547199686025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065696271929032,0.2031708669204912,0.12155273146589173,0.0,0.0,0.2623164721566076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242277936803906,0.07453172782991234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270959016605844,0.10591347756919928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291095067228217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318386893182144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092398761864875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729252107442144,0.149094638903933,0.11430552172100268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599441613511787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720182173987216,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sir_Krzysztof,2018/04/01,"Is there any hope for a serious change in personality at 30? Can a person undergo a drastic (and positive) change in personality when they are already about 30 years old? Or does one get so ossified by that time that he has to sit through the rest of his life with what he got, no matter the desire for change? ",7.576666666666667,6.2634878688524624,8.202295081967211,72.47207650273226,63.754098360655746,12.06775956284153,35.087431693989075,11.20814326018867,3.6612907103825134,244,9,50,6,3,82,50,61,0.055,0.8320000000000001,0.114,0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,11,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,4,33,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482330252188792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854473049520852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6465642526937871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828722582844195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644154915385667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294307312198353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235182231627705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390192028838894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378243825051824,0.0,0.13805406010870672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5336727115148112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187977540447011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119671344778558
mentalhealth,A0Zergling,2018/04/01,"I sometimes almost burst into tears for absolutely no reason and I'm pretty scared it's going to happen in public soon It's been happening for the last few months when I've just been at home browsing reddit or doing something else that's extremely useful. It's never with any sad content or anything, just the most random shit. My breath gets all shaky and gets stuck in my throat and my eyes well up a bit. I can usually control it within a few seconds but it did evolve into a full on crying sesh once. I really have no idea what's going on, there hasn't been anything particularly sad in my life recently. I might have some mild sort of depression or something though, but this doesn't feel like the same thing. It just happens like a few times a day now and I really don't want this thing to happen in public. Any advice would be very appreciated!",5.259037116729424,6.001552816568048,6.042054868208716,79.1083647122109,68.17159763313609,8.51231845077999,26.01452393760086,8.575989854853784,1.7241550295857992,682,18,129,10,11,224,110,169,0.173,0.738,0.08900000000000001,-0.9171,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,9,9,1,2,8,0,14,5,4,3,2,32,27,11,0,2,8,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,12,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,6,1,1,5,2,9,3,17,19,9,24,0,3,1,0,2,12,1,10,12,90,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414514261352892,0.0,0.0,0.13746272414605842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670564354298952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593395393919544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987053518525814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396742323584145,0.0,0.0,0.15079194166054508,0.08853207538548966,0.0,0.11823616780823926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467701672818445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941119325717655,0.09807045815738948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344275573274776,0.0,0.1560349546943183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855731131600997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376996615265481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496861578710097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189878265611032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969625497068069,0.134132863171919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456288200741652,0.0,0.0,0.10957290336055403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587620664597208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461951400517116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965969345866547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588585991432526,0.14114324803441067,0.13554411959574286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743786349932166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091249696606906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136452649028015,0.1357701058855406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240099793667575,0.0,0.13487360058748946,0.0,0.08004711200887135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856294006684565,0.1511908232937328,0.11326760374742438,0.08096931825412754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234281845043678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751738551401036,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,96897d739f411ad9bdb1,2018/04/01,"I don't feel alright mentally, I'd appreciate help Well here it goes. First of all sorry if this is on the wrong subreddit but do feel free to correct me and show me a place where this is more appropriate. This is most likely going to be more of a incoherent ramble, a lonely talk to myself and shitty self-diagnose but I'd love to hear some of your words about what you think of my situation or something. Yeah..


I'm a 20 year old dude from the cold north Europe. Just your ordinary university student on his first year, living alone, trying to figure out his place out in the world. The thing is that I don't feel like I'm even close to finding it. I'm on the track to possibly finding it since I'm studying on a field I really like and would like to proceed and work on in the future, but I feel like that's really the only thing going for me. I have a certificate on a line of work already and could work full-time but instead I decided to go further in my studies and went onto a university of applied sciences. I'm doing rather well in there surprisingly even though my background isn't the most optimal for it because I've done mostly practical studies instead of reading in the past years. I'd like to think that as an achievement really, getting into uni and all, but it comes with the flip side of not having a +2 week break from anything for 6 years or actually having a good amount of time just for myself. But I guess that's nothing out of the ordinary?


I've moved cities to study too. I moved to a completely new and foreign location and I did not know anyone from the new city I moved into. Maybe a bad move, but I felt like I needed serious change, cut my ties from the old same faces and surroundings and just move somewhere else, far away. Actually I felt like doing that for over 4 years because I didn't really feel like I would fit in my old city. And to be honest moving away was one of my best decisions ever, I love it here. On the other hand though I don't really have friends at the moment, only my classmates in school but as you know, I only see them when I'm there, 5 days a week at most. I wish we could be friends and hang out after and out of school but that is yet to happen even though I have proposed for it a couple times. Maybe I need to try harder. Being honest actually, I'm really fucking lonely here. I just study, at school and at home, and after that I'm alone. Inside these walls. I mean I never had more than like say 5 friends anyway at my old town but still.


Telling more about my background I've always wanted to travel. For a long time now, for about 5-6 years, but regardless I have never left my own country. I'd want to experience and see the world and the people it holds, meet new people, see new things, talk to someone unknown. Essentially to feel alive for a while I guess. Regardless of this urge, I've always covered all my time by work and studying. Even when I'm done with one education I feel like that isn't enough and I just move onto another and leave no time for myself at any point, hence going to uni straight away. I've never really experienced a good working cycle for a few months at a stable job but then again I'm only 20 so its pretty normal I guess. I feel like I'm just very busy all the time, even when I shouldn't be I fill up my time very effectively. 


I also like to spend my alone time playing video games. I think they calm me in a way and let me work out my competitiveness. They let me sink into another world for a while. I like to play Counter-Strike even though it's not the best game for winding down, especially when you don't have friends who play the game but need to rely on complete strangers. At least that's how I felt before. Nowadays I don't really like playing anything I own either. I don't have friends to play with so any co-operative game feels pointless and I'm yet to find a good time sink. Maybe I should stop being on the computer and find some other hobbies? Oh yeah, I had those too but had to leave most of them when I moved at the latest. I used to race on 2 and 4-wheelers, play drums, climb buildings and do other stuff like that but almost every single one of them is hard to pass with yourself when you really don't have any income. Don't get me wrong, I switched parts of my acoustic drum kit for an electric one to play here, I have a great PC and peripherals and other equipment for various hobbies but whenever I start trying to do something I just feel it's not for me, I'm too tired and lazy to keep on going and trying to be better at whatever I'm doing.


Just a side note; at this point of the rant it actually feels a bit easier on my mind and it feels nice to lay a lot of stuff just out there. Almost like you'd talk to someone, open up you know. Haven't done that in a long time, can count that timescale in years also. Also I don't do any drugs nor have I ever done anything except alcohol. I come from a family where my relatives are mostly alcoholics or narcotic abusers so, there's that also. So no, I don't take anything to feel better and if I'm completely honest I wouldn't if could either way. I feel like you need to be able to handle yourself and your thoughts when you're you, sober and sensible. I also want to stress out heavily that I'm not suicidal nor do I want to inflict self-harm, I detest sliding down there and I couldn't do that to myself and to others even more so.


On a more emotional scale I feel like I'm just very lost. In a span of 1-2 years I've felt like I'm changing emotionally but I really couldn't pinpoint how or in which direction. When I now think about it maybe I've changed for the worse. I don't know what to do and just feel like burning out. I'm so fucking lonely. Sad. I don't want to say I'm depressed because that is thrown around too much and to be honest I hate thinking that I'd be one of ""those depressed people"". Regardless of this however I find myself listening to and enjoying depressing, melancholic and sad music for most of the time accompanied with very heavy feels. Just feeling like.. something. Sad, over all emotional, worthless, something that I can't really pinpoint. But all in all, were I depressed or not, I feel like I'm starting to learn how those guys feel like. Actually, you don't really feel that much in the end, no anger, no sadness, just emptiness. You're pretty much like a shell. Just wave and smile boys, wave and smile..


TL;DR I'm lost, most of the time feeling sad and lonely or something along those lines. Reject to call myself depressed even though I most likely check many marks on that list too. What is going on and how do I better myself?


If you made it and read it through I congratulate you, feels nice to know that maybe someone might read through how I feel inside my head. I'm quite relieved from writing this down anyhow so I guess I should thank you regardless. I'd love to hear if you have any opinion what might be going on with my emotional self, what is causing these feels and what should I do to proceed and change for the better. I'm also open to answering any questions you may have for me or just talk about anything overall. ",4.343089801482492,5.0536269765840185,5.1767260231177765,84.60957357075917,70.21212121212122,8.191485615290677,26.677061145664712,8.317148915188806,1.5730492516543126,5638,170,1172,80,97,1837,462,1452,0.152,0.7170000000000001,0.131,-0.9715,4,11,8,0,1,0,141.0,1,17,5,20,90,95,5,1,61,3,93,12,3,9,13,259,206,115,1,33,55,0,31,26,5,10,4,5,1,3,68,73,2,3,53,19,3,24,37,29,2,7,20,41,134,67,187,157,43,187,0,19,3,5,56,90,2,36,96,769,202,19,0.02736684494273317,0.03242523619753712,0.13353046474632227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058493668909558635,0.05480788415517123,0.08503139385621479,0.030199993914015368,0.13131153608000984,0.045542814609186764,0.0,0.0,0.1116623580609538,0.05739304616324675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01913553429479793,0.0,0.11260290790780066,0.024362294107093424,0.0,0.0,0.07713615505543499,0.0,0.02285017241330528,0.05004772400165671,0.0,0.02328716938289313,0.0,0.05743963073447943,0.09681500163513056,0.029877506726766964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02794460848322654,0.0,0.0,0.02811328830057366,0.1158019729410761,0.047148227384216784,0.08608084873932552,0.0,0.0,0.06555059647899639,0.03028089340342437,0.0,0.017649350985468357,0.0,0.11785511724072682,0.027776771549313718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202313576813948,0.0,0.0,0.031736851735333985,0.0,0.02286148731281049,0.12313606833579137,0.02423890170933377,0.02827726644462247,0.0,0.14460434385450835,0.04950975606428732,0.02305774718659663,0.0,0.0,0.026770025639821542,0.0257990258251813,0.0,0.3459374771182848,0.21505967444767032,0.105105851357634,0.0,0.12506400242729587,0.046556448655859235,0.0,0.0,0.10571778258180788,0.050600414332184894,0.028596093915415063,0.0,0.1088724605510112,0.06886203338040216,0.0,0.0301720431628131,0.12059066027920272,0.027097479102538558,0.024200410602465583,0.0,0.024515317672527067,0.02701909360554056,0.028086278246201364,0.0,0.06168884642433501,0.0,0.01834341929678089,0.0,0.02745117683370797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027157370832214103,0.024324909215671358,0.0,0.0,0.07520051137850299,0.0,0.0,0.057955074667775774,0.0297341571045872,0.05596890622883479,0.0,0.3476215102434515,0.0,0.02416542546827532,0.048437593179862286,0.0,0.0,0.0597482881185967,0.023266312922675416,0.07409893810134023,0.02589517038744233,0.0,0.027745685375769345,0.13746837049472446,0.029810517008145413,0.0,0.0,0.02757934295164994,0.05806379547518944,0.027632711981617902,0.0,0.021843954538359172,0.2326930013484948,0.0603533397073379,0.08116867504401401,0.06332099379693325,0.10572427751718592,0.0,0.0,0.026813697512519642,0.02625922581044217,0.0,0.11486760067427558,0.0,0.0927224119635498,0.08325487510484703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02963562619340888,0.026124750120890158,0.05691817342847974,0.0,0.057185056458255584,0.0,0.0517410284337938,0.03085200572891953,0.0,0.0556838397302251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030657129532554277,0.02910800824812586,0.08212275239890952,0.0,0.21038281966115305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043526427046374695,0.0,0.08309012438450188,0.06542349666599773,0.0,0.08564876328713426,0.0,0.0,0.022638136937801315,0.030761480341486763,0.0,0.0,0.0695635167336278,0.1053416712999506,0.0,0.030634942356793943,0.03874078741368888,0.0,0.021855197722461472,0.022879907778323685,0.031348628418983504,0.0,0.06265697999828368,0.029934886548677812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020576461551059445,0.08798573330922775,0.023919828722467045,0.025195713971693,0.0,0.0,0.054543947241719945,0.08767784607268443,0.13443893103587085,0.02172621797828605,0.1914939283733394,0.03145416243614832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432116523693606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02363616727606701,0.0,0.09032205266245888,0.08070837098863537,0.043445055387524224,0.04390406454084154,0.0,0.04921216045893751,0.025369339438600653,0.0,0.0,0.0314705210891615,0.0,0.0,0.11954033433515955,0.0,0.027889153011617644,0.038881242908354686,0.05984269765117276,0.0,0.14098680708691055
mentalhealth,Iruinedmyownweekend,2018/04/01,"TIFU by being the aggressor in a road rage yelling incident No excuse, now I'm on edge wondering if I'm going to be charged with something because the other driver was trying to take pictures of my license plate.

He was two cars behind me at a stop light and when it turned green it took me a few seconds to notice because I was looking left to see if there were any available street parking spots on the street I was about to turn on to (the green light was from a one way to a one way, turning left).

He honked for a ridiculously long time even after I started moving and I lost it. He pulled up next to me at the next dual turn on to another one way and was gesticulating and saying something, I rolled down my window and just lost it on him. I didn't threaten him, but I was saying ""F You, Shut up, It was an accident, F You, F Off"" as loud and scary as I possibly could. He went first on the dual turn after I yelled and when we got to the next red light he was taking pictures of me and stayed stopped to try and get a picture of my license plate. GAH! I'm such an idiot. I hate being me. I woke up with the normal levels of suicidality and depression, and now I've just dug myself another little hole. I'm not made for this world. 

I feel like an absolute psycho. I've been such a mess for so long and have been doing a lot of mental health and addiction recovery work, and still I'm just such a mess to the point where I'm just walking around full of rage. Fucking nothing helps. Life is just one big stressor after another. My head is so full of poison and I can't seem to change that fact no matter what. People in AA keep telling me to spend more time on recovery each week and I can't seem to get my shit together and just fucking do it. I spend about 4 hours a week between meetings and the occasional meet up with a new comer, but it doesn't really feel like enough I guess.

I finally have a couple days off (I work two jobs to pay off debt I stupidly incurred by being an impulsive addictive personality) and now I can't enjoy it at all because I'm on edge wondering if the police are going to knock on my door.

I didn't threaten the other driver, but I yelled at the top of my lungs which is probably considered threatening.

",4.711883116883115,4.741825145021647,5.8887229437229465,82.23165584415588,69.1948051948052,8.937662337662339,28.83766233766233,8.738905477910976,2.003085714285714,1755,57,369,27,28,589,220,462,0.182,0.7859999999999999,0.032,-0.9972,2,0,2,0,1,0,38.0,1,2,0,6,23,18,10,0,30,0,31,10,3,1,2,55,70,31,1,5,13,0,2,2,0,0,5,6,2,1,14,25,0,3,6,0,4,8,9,15,1,8,21,16,41,3,67,44,8,77,0,3,5,2,18,39,3,9,28,247,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707696829357237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326308095696322,0.24638897704828436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972506397984883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323695226408456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285652345398689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625354289067069,0.08666413846904511,0.0,0.05051257165088906,0.0,0.06746044156465243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092974345353071,0.0,0.05173233626263863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792060472435619,0.11190952031657846,0.0,0.08580023455016712,0.0,0.06662244834034678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481875603378375,0.08184223000762228,0.0,0.08902679390177035,0.0,0.06264294617378276,0.0,0.08628283800345657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732884358272782,0.08038313383229513,0.0832548668121577,0.0,0.0,0.0524990002359771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713347160668033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772459401716503,0.0696180681470744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019875036321586,0.0,0.05532263553284697,0.07653040812845263,0.07850133515709865,0.0,0.1386287460716778,0.06577252635013578,0.0,0.1710000377403957,0.0665883578113601,0.0,0.07411216710941003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893228131032555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324613404307256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564591394497128,0.2498957401067095,0.0,0.07674099846173306,0.0751540963936265,0.08917251888067437,0.0,0.0,0.21229777715037146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054300076263635616,0.06838959214672435,0.0,0.0,0.07404160096891353,0.0882986661231233,0.0,0.0,0.0844466383690685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050176430760352116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457295266536696,0.0,0.0,0.062414175375133316,0.14260665701905773,0.0,0.0,0.08039857383339802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059545359473635,0.0,0.0,0.05543820851137918,0.08348308038954387,0.06254973578400322,0.13096492692222814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567386431922086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777996701129947,0.0,0.06845872481177515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134283734316627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702096863224859,0.10635385933735723,0.4259707041976702,0.15302254995052156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651009957357867,0.12565375393749442,0.0,0.0,0.07260723508661274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987831340916665,0.1140417704924414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wannabe_winchester_,2018/04/01,"Am I mentally ill or just a strange person? (Sorry for long post) I believe that I have a mental issue but my parents and my friends tell me that I’m just exaggerating things and if I just decided to be positive or faked being positive, then I’d be just fine. So I wanted to ask reddit what they think. Here’s what I’m usually feeling on any typical day.. 
1. Demotivated and lethargic 
2. I get sudden flashbacks from things that happened ages ago OR things that haven’t happened which make me either very angry or very depressed. 
3. I get so lost in what is happening in my head that my facial expressions/ body language is of that situation and not where I am. (Sometimes this happens when I’m in the middle of a conversation with people) 
4. Anxious and preoccupied. For e.g., I’m scared of going in the elevator. So if we’re making a plan about going to a place that has elevators, I’m going to spend the rest of my time imagining myself in that elevator and how I would feel in it. 
5. Upset when I browse social media because I feel everyone is happier, prettier, richer and more successful than me. 
6. Have a sudden major mood swing even though nothing has happened to warrant that mood swing. 
7. Feel paranoid at times. Where I obsess over why someone didn’t talk to me or why someone said something about me. And that it must have some ulterior motive or meaning. 
8. Feel forgetful. Or I can remember the events but not the names of even regular things. 
9. Have no energy to interact with people. 
10. I make a sentence in my mind but when I say it loud, it’s something else entirely. While I’m saying it, I realise that I’ve said it wrong but being too anxious to correct myself. 
11. Sometimes, not being able to talk in a louder voice.  
12. If I’m not able to express myself (which happens often), I end up uncontrollably crying. 
13. Being extremely negative. Speaking negatively about myself and people. 
14. Feeling compelled to do things like, I have to charge my phone to a 100% before I sleep. So even if it’s getting late, I can’t sleep because my phone is not at 100% yet. I understand I’m being irrational but I can’t stop. 
15. Having stupid fears like a) I can go up on an escalator but not down b) while going downstairs, I’ve to feel the stair first with my foot before stepping on it c) only being able to go downstairs if I’m holding the railing d) being uncomfortable in loud, crowded areas e) sometimes being scared of being in a vehicle because I feel like I’ll get stuck inside and never get out. 
16. One line of criticism from someone will unsettle me for days. 
17. If something exciting or different is happening in my life on say, the 25th then not being able to do anything before it or just postponing things to after that date (even if I have time to finish it now) 
18. Knowing my faults but not being able to change myself. 
19. Feeling hopeless and victim like all the time. Feeling overly guilty at times for no reason. 
20. Going to any extent to get attention. Like I once sent nudes to someone just so he would talk to me. Then getting impatient or upset for no reason and stop talking to that person then again start to feel lonely etc etc.. cycle goes on. 
21. Opening up to people about how I feel and then regretting sharing it with people because they must think lowly of me now. 
22. Getting all my frustration and anger out on my parents or at myself by self destructing. 
23. Being self destructive on purpose. 
24. Not giving a flying fuck about the fact that I’m obese and unhealthy. 
25. Feeling suicidal when all the emotions get too overwhelming for me. 
So yeah, I understand that this post might be pretty bizarre but really I want an honest opinion.. what is wrong with me... ",2.4140031516600544,4.975798804741982,4.136955931098189,81.98782046405479,80.4783821478382,6.681439620351753,25.49020992954048,7.8686543518927445,1.8116911336919703,2921,116,526,53,77,978,319,717,0.202,0.6890000000000001,0.109,-0.9977,3,2,3,0,0,1,105.0,0,0,2,5,38,37,7,8,25,1,46,11,7,9,8,121,112,61,1,14,42,2,13,5,1,6,3,9,0,4,40,23,1,3,26,0,1,9,19,24,0,2,6,22,60,11,85,85,11,87,0,6,0,2,34,37,1,23,44,363,100,2,0.2609401533841397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626154034942216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097930092813985,0.0,0.0,0.11791523986494852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042946302538632575,0.0,0.048788763816542124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272533564352254,0.0,0.13322451082768547,0.0587980392500634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796913713260959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552080165701639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732610113736554,0.0673139247569936,0.0,0.04494947435008143,0.0,0.0,0.054525384401171766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359640300865861,0.058704510194539636,0.046223104951498006,0.0,0.1164068989751022,0.13787880826002086,0.0,0.0,0.049867899780630616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872604364761706,0.3430418730059655,0.03728313954318747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439111223344201,0.0,0.0,0.04032034304290981,0.048246993414004666,0.2453948284239957,0.050063514450095145,0.2076176235509615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32304792221730605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053559975721640236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447074515056759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02868117682507327,0.0,0.058870371754075425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03686194945047008,0.1274821783472293,0.0,0.0,0.04618476488744088,0.0,0.0,0.05696940037746755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450774717044678,0.0,0.0,0.056848064852514126,0.0,0.0,0.10518652033285636,0.055363253342013016,0.0526950338483776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040250626548008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050075822953387264,0.0,0.0,0.05557854943775545,0.035363960223468376,0.03969134901245672,0.0,0.0,0.11589726405915855,0.0,0.0,0.18090304692718254,0.09113715080164717,0.054525384401171766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996341456856063,0.053093989134034375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033432988802475604,0.1073159748800286,0.0,0.0,0.05911886530827405,0.0,0.09928553622487374,0.12450605000515913,0.10449864596613316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888699556500467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586615330735242,0.10445144049688816,0.053199125081350634,0.1768749961436623,0.12053068707454212,0.15484589035161564,0.05842022764570628,0.03693895672337857,0.0,0.0,0.0872630609423037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708523510031395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778704884226914,0.045614639092112566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080284517884856,0.06687996559478393,0.051274475166878865,0.0,0.1521563018634188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086591608886639,0.0,0.0,0.05747774272108778,0.08612118176220615,0.0615637052768868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418316071386362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414575929013759,0.11411883786160833,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Romeyo23,2018/04/01,"extreme case of bipolar disorder (urgent - suicidal thoughts) I have been struggling with bipolar disorder for quite a while now. I am a 23 year old college student, and I currently live with my parents. Before I get to the heart of my issue I will point out several matters that are part and parcel of this struggle. My parents currently believe that I have this disorder, but it is almost taboo to discuss mental health in our family because we had quite a history of mentally-ill family members. I haven’t had any legitimate diagnosis but I went to see a doctor in the midst of my military training 4 years ago – he assured me that I suffered from depression alone. However, I recently read an article about Bipolar Disorder and I firmly believe that I have symptoms of manic depression. In that, I sometimes have a very high, intense mood that is positive in some way – it allows me to be creative and synergetic. On the flipside I go through episodes where I am numb, lazy and deeply depressed. The mental jar that holds my horrible memories releases those feelings back to life as if it triggers the depression phase. It is perhaps cliché to assume that life is a combination of ups and downs. But my case is extremely severe. I have been bullied, sexually molested, cast-away, rejected, went through parents’ divorce, physically abused by an elder sibling – and it had all happened before the age of 10. And it had only gotten worse after that. I wanted to convince myself that our character is not based on our past experiences because we are transparent. Albeit this has made me realize that I can still develop my personality, I found out that I have none. I always focus on role-models – seeking their advice; mimicking their behaviors and their values. It dawned on me that a lack of a father figure had played a big part in my childhood development. My story is very deep and longer than this post and I wish I could have written it all. My question is; do I need to consult a therapist as soon as possible? Do I take medication that stabilizes my mood) even though I play sports? Would it affect my professional, social and emotional statuses? (Knowing that I have been presented with many opportunities and wasted them all. It almost gives me a certainty that my disorder has everything to do with it). Am I going mad? 
I highly believe that reddit is a place of well-informed people, most of whom are individuals such as me that could have taken their problem into consideration and can therefore be well equipped to help me do the same. So please, help me find my answers.
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mentalhealth,AwesomeAlexABDL,2018/04/01,Suicidal thoughts I been having suicidal thoughts for a week now and now it’s getting worse. Please excuse the bad spelling and English because not good with socializing. I been banned from a store for less then a year due to my mental problems. Now it’s the point where everyone in the store wants me go to jail so there trying every single thing to see if I’m breaking any rules. They are harassing me and so far to the point I’m scared to walk anywhere to the city.  3 months ago I found out I’m ABDL (Adult Baby / Diaper Lover) yes it a thing. So I’m not good with socializing and I post some stuff about my emotional problems on ABDL Reddit. I treat them like family. Now they decide to banned me on ABDL Reddit. I feel like I got kicked out. Betrayal. And heart broken. I always like people. Now I wish they die. Now I have an  plan for suicide. Overdosing. I’m scared. Help,0.9452049689441004,3.4939945714285727,2.481391304347828,90.8241739130435,89.0,5.5577639751552805,19.03726708074534,7.079830092131019,0.4984310559006211,690,20,139,11,23,224,103,175,0.274,0.612,0.114,-0.989,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,4,1,12,13,1,2,10,1,5,2,1,0,0,24,20,10,4,5,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,9,0,2,5,0,2,2,2,6,0,0,6,2,19,7,19,14,3,25,0,0,1,1,10,9,0,2,15,82,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156307667701018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853988704157692,0.0,0.0,0.08870641713542864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891532084274927,0.07951747319443707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353803142068791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467319824499243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990472576376968,0.12464486580635302,0.0,0.0,0.12297102727959427,0.0,0.06595642366344688,0.09318924489788023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302515182327352,0.0,0.0,0.0681516245766546,0.0,0.07413435135738095,0.2188205359052611,0.10432801133628974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457680991993478,0.08743388723398154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118510002657688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145690683988442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411918448521132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043346965639508,0.0,0.0,0.143188379174763,0.2466235532349449,0.0,0.1249293277765297,0.0,0.0,0.2496346499024734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611944710062451,0.0,0.10394700750532848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265942533611809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493272119814971,0.4280538081553491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332244169859487,0.0,0.0,0.20711598661082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856293741217525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693927172124418,0.0,0.10463433687227124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000420301068207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329336161386749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400168197157855
mentalhealth,BrightEstablishment,2018/04/01,"Need a serious pep talk or something... I'm traveling out of state to the midwest tomorrow for work for a week.  I live in the south; I used to live in the midwest but work from home now so I only need to fly back to the midwest a few times a year for meetings or what have you.


I do suffer from depression and I felt like I was coming out of my latest funk recently but perhaps I'm not.  Actually, now that I have to fly out for work tomorrow I'm becoming a bit anxious.  Since working from home I have gained some weight...most of my few work outfits are fairly tight on me.  I ran out of a prescription I had been taking for acne and over the past 2 months I have broken out *horribly*.  I have scars all over my face and neck now which, at 39, I haven't dealt with this in years.  I'm back on the prescription now but it'll be a long time before my face is cleared back up.  I got my hair done for work yesterday and tried a new style and I absolutely hate it.  I don't know if I should leave it or try to do something else to it today.  A friend of mine just invited me out to meet up and after looking at myself in the mirror and taking a selfie and seeing how I actually look, I was like ""no way in heck I'm letting anyone see me today"".  I HATE feeling this way but I literally just feel terribly ugly and sloppy...the ugliest I have ever felt pretty much.  I just feel like I look like a monster; I feel a bit disgusted just looking at myself to be honest as harsh as it sounds.  I have totally avoided going out for the past year I've been working from home so I have not had to deal with the anxiety of having to show my face in public.  I just really don't want to be seen by others right now.

But I'm flying out tomorrow and I simply cannot go into work looking/acting like a drab/depressed Debbie Downer the whole time.  My colleagues are positive high energy Type A personality extroverted folk who to be honest I am glad I am not around in person anymore as it is just draining for me.  How can I turn my thoughts around so that when I land tomorrow I'll be able to be upbeat and productive and not so focused on how bad I feel like I look and am feeling right now??",2.2129343629343623,3.6326439780219815,4.247704187704187,86.511485001485,76.25274725274723,7.380457380457381,23.94564894564895,8.098718942377014,1.2594817344817346,1690,53,365,28,37,580,204,455,0.15,0.731,0.118,-0.9605,0,1,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,9,26,19,3,1,24,0,39,5,5,4,4,71,77,33,0,5,19,0,10,6,1,2,0,1,3,2,14,27,0,2,10,2,0,5,9,9,0,0,13,19,51,10,67,55,9,74,0,2,8,0,10,33,1,5,39,252,65,9,0.07540428300146165,0.0,0.14716740602167194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057684070105519576,0.08518537681581513,0.07478078700218513,0.05272442791152867,0.0,0.0,0.13425159701530778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394371759852278,0.06295942666721538,0.0,0.08327810636147318,0.06416349104637696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464389499904186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495411305424828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773850478355124,0.12989119691636136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716476131837517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299060278145907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820749095149453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287600267844421,0.10773766968546472,0.1447998733040848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058257161998517916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570798344422867,0.0,0.060307693428613016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488922369340314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966876497345854,0.22690993181971336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041440221945240864,0.0,0.0,0.07984224817958427,0.0,0.07710598816547101,0.0,0.22103234314236195,0.0,0.13316672672159172,0.06673041762188668,0.3166030333363735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018697929294426,0.0,0.055430824134075386,0.11182264080276637,0.0,0.07282592639663976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057348355069737324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396384059472309,0.0,0.13168022287619285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671326414155848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048305914527752375,0.0,0.07445263262346109,0.0,0.0,0.12878969136249122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201749018534685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237520210516932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609980194896552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338927327658732,0.06060710641309992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986257796301565,0.1319065314099998,0.0,0.14294888698799166,0.0,0.0,0.10238911698172222,0.08201820702064917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512509023542724,0.0,0.0,0.04447539977186881,0.119704820132177,0.06048476750753684,0.0918221026636669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418618912894255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391617286859221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456736580792369
mentalhealth,ARedOneT,2018/04/01,"How do you measure where you are in your journey to wellness? Let's assume that recovery in mental health = moving towards wellness and away from illness.  Use whatever your definition of wellness is.  After finding out what wellness looks like for you, how do you measure where you are in your goal to become well?",6.600789473684207,8.22118166666667,6.3218859649122825,75.11861842105263,65.66666666666667,7.805263157894737,37.05701754385965,8.07648339933343,3.2467228070175445,253,13,39,3,4,79,40,57,0.04,0.7140000000000001,0.246,0.9163,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,8,0,1,9,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,0,7,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,8,6,12,7,0,11,0,0,1,0,8,8,0,1,2,38,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399118431070354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452672769547567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692594131609782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684727292359525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936832421186775,0.0,0.0904740029781402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555121393026944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662697949697152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19682662522040015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599438577398614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8325358654367752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mleenko,2018/04/01,"What is happening to me? I've been struggling with this for about 3 and a half years now. I've never heard of anyone having the same problem so I came here to write about my story. I'm really desperate and I really hope that someone has gone through the same thing and can tell me what is going on or what I should do.

So it started when I went from elementary school to high school (I was 15 then). It was then that I started to think about my purpose in this world. I decided to go to grammar school because I thought I would be able to make sense of life with the education I would get in school. Then a few months into highschool I started getting depressed. Then I started exploring on the internet about the purpose of life and stuff like that. Also everything in this world that wasn't natural felt wrong to me. For example, it seemed wrong to me that humans have lights, we don't wake up to the sun like animals naturally do, we wear clothes, we eat cooked food. I felt doing those unnatural things were wrong, but adapting my lifestyle to a completely natural life would be very hard. Then I started to think something must be wrong with me, so I started to search on the internet. I self-diagnosed myself with OCD, anxiety, depression and so on and when I was certain of what I have, then I knew what I have to do to be normal again. But this lasted only for a few days before I was unsure about my diagnosis again. I also have a brother and it seemed to me that we were very similar in what we did (staying at home, wondering about life). I was 15 at the time and he was 19. He didn't go to school and was at home all the time, he didn't talk to anyone. So I thought I was following the same path as him. Also, when I started changing I thought that it could be weed that triggered something in me, as it was at the beggining of highschool when I started to smoke weed (smoked about 10 times in 5 months).  About 5 months into highschool, my brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and because of that, I thought that I was going schizophrenic too.But then I found about a thing called Spiritual enlightement, and I thought that this could be happening to me, and I'm still not sure what is really happening. And if this is spiritual enlightement that is happening, then I shouldn't be seeing a  therapist as everything is fine with me.I've been seeing a therapist for about three years now and I don't think much has changed. I'm still confused as I was 3 years ago. I tried to stay away from videos about spirituality and psychedelic drugs on youtube because if I watched them, I felt like thing finally made sense but then I just became worried and sad. But when I prevebted myself from watching those videos or reading about that stuff, I felt like I was forcing myself from it because I was really interested in that stuf, or maybe it was just an obsession or a kind of an addiction. Today I'm still quite depressed and have no dirrection in life. 

If anyone is or went through the same thing, please write to me. I'm really desperate. I tried not thinking deeply about life but it didn't work.

If you do not understand any part of my story or would like to hear some detail, feel free to write to me.

And sorry for my bad english, I'm from Slovenia.


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mentalhealth,unfromageluv,2018/04/01,"Help: possible burnout Hi. I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with a couple of mental disorders and i am on epilim 500mg n 30mg fluxoetine. I take hydroxine or xanax as an adjunct if i can't sleep. Recently, i have been feeling quite burnt out. I joined a club with many meetings, and my courses are very heavy on projects, assignments and tests. There is one mod where we have fewer ppl than average, another mod where we are tested on names and historical facts. The semester is ending in a month's time, giving me some time for final exams. Sometimes, i feel that my grp mates are very lassiez fairez..like i have one mod where my grp member isn't that competent with d subject matter.i have two other mods which seem ok but they r a lot of work too. I feel i am burning out, so I'm listening to singing bowls, trying to pace myself...trying to chill out while not having my gpa drop too much. I also am thinking of taking the normal workload next sem n the next next sem so i can finish early. Im already turning 23 soon. But i think if i get burnt out, i have to take fewer mods, since it won't go away after this semester? It might carry on to the next semester?",2.63924908424908,4.636162619658119,4.0352014652014665,85.97884615384615,76.64957264957266,7.192185592185592,24.818070818070808,8.11559375814309,1.5275301587301582,919,32,183,16,21,303,148,234,0.02,0.947,0.033,0.1603,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,1,4,10,1,0,0,9,1,22,3,1,0,1,32,37,15,0,3,6,0,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,7,14,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,4,23,1,25,33,3,31,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,7,16,114,30,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905060374851122,0.1007668435467028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212813457326536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838665665336788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394230913350086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789329908851638,0.0,0.0,0.14441363625064832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160379457293576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911370519722276,0.0,0.0,0.13803326438796729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583286299839697,0.1208763060843784,0.0716120360549306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445907423993715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610795533582298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712567916771662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277501682252492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126984273550944,0.13367230867235755,0.0,0.0,0.10057667810999972,0.0,0.0926288081209364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5360346615122239,0.0,0.12345899268924967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076966838150626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205267841023855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340227462410238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441558878316653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471100571576133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423335242732867,0.0,0.12609686346572596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462302100070548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842221832721977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16147893892280335,0.0,0.0,0.14695006468268218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109942020042554,0.1370581960348058,0.12308941930858702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079360676409132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173376937828193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,invalidlivingthing,2018/04/01,"My friend is addicted to WhatsApp My friend is in her mid 20s. She's been living in a WhatsApp bubble since a last couple of months.Things aren't import to her anymore. She's otherwise a really bright person, but now this addiction has been affecting her grades as well. Sometimes she isn't even chatting with anyone, she's just online scrolling, looking at everyone's pictures/statuses/etc. It's been affecting her relationships (with her family and her boyfriend) as well. How do I help her get out of this? How do I help her realize how unhealthy this addiction is?",4.8096436058700185,7.092462396226416,5.2561635220125815,78.35602725366878,71.26415094339623,9.239412997903564,30.645702306079663,9.725611199111238,3.294904821802936,458,20,79,12,9,146,66,106,0.043,0.778,0.179,0.9092,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,11,3,0,5,0,12,13,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,2,16,5,12,10,0,7,0,0,2,0,19,5,0,0,2,56,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5902230654335889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897964161447918,0.1261901564590127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968873706001514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201273886530662,0.11919999524532462,0.0,0.0,0.17244864506039054,0.0,0.0,0.1701328562461295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788643017535163,0.0,0.09428912487392224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419330357222719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710869485468386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936000394665092,0.0,0.15155095235610544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758111169254654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561492753190936,0.0,0.0,0.1937592928508417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928822985090676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849133478498544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324531843863257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stimdickbill,2018/04/01,"Living with ASP (antisocial personality disorder) Hi everyone, I'm a 19 year old male who was recently diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. After going through multiple psychiatrist and being misdiagnosed with depersonlization disorder, I have finally found out what is going on with my mind.

My early life was hectic to be sure. I had a loving mother who loved me but was very strict and judgmental about what I did. My father in my early years was an extremely violent alcoholic who would put me in constant unease and fear everytime he was around me. I went through constant bullying during school due to my stutter, I had multiple mental breakdowns during this. I became unnecessarily hostile to animals often throwing them off my porch, locking them in my closet to hear them cry, and other things. I had a cousin I was around often who would abuse me and occasionally molest me.

My teen years was better than my child years but problems still happened. I was in the office at least once a month and instigated multiple fights. I still went through bullying and would often pretend to be scared and sorry, then when they looked away I would attack them. I was diagnosed with adhd around grade 6 and have been taking them since. I dropped out in 11th grade under the ruse of homeschooling and took advantage of my mom's generosity and have lied about doing my schoolwork. I still to this day haven't completely school.

During my later teen years I drew my impulsive nature into a dilapidated period of drugs. I did lsd, ketamine, mdma, cocaine, meth, heroine. I also began a lucrative career in selling lsd. Often making 900 dollars in a day. During this period in my life I stole money from my parents, tresspased, shoplifted, and drove while intoxicated. I have no remorse about what I did in this time even though I burned a lot of bridges.

Now welcome to the current. I work at home depot on the freight team. I hate my co workers because I see nothing but fakeness, the small talk they engage with me is meaningless and I cant stand the when someone trys to talk to me. I will only work freight team because I have no interaction with customers and get to work by myself on power equipment. I have no remorse for what I do but I don't perform heinous acts. I have two dogs who I care for and my immediate family. Thats about it. Despite popular beliefs people with anti social personality disorder can care for people. I'm trying to change who I am because I need to fit in. I'm sorry for the long post but I have no one to talk to about this because if I tell them I'm a sociopath I'm met with disgust.

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mentalhealth,Eahdawn,2018/04/01,"Recording a podcast with Eoin Galavan, a PhD in Clinical Psychology who specializes in suicidal & self-harm intervention therapy. What questions would you like me to ask him? [Ireland] Hey guys, title says it all - ask away! :-)",5.630526315789473,8.936671263157898,6.1255263157894735,68.06618421052633,73.21052631578947,10.115789473684213,38.44736842105263,10.125756701596842,5.285768421052632,180,11,26,6,4,58,35,38,0.106,0.775,0.12,-0.2481,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,5,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,1,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30336683651557206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235018919940141,0.0,0.2630579040483659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27723209897817963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678797399180104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136505922486251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22265766282953986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920885042617985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062613831773805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201906322212757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988954127720652,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChristianRapGod,2018/04/01,"Why am I like this I have a good friend group, loving family, and all the opportunities In the world to be what i want to be. But I never find the motivation to do anything or be anyone. Im very introvert and i like being alone most of the time. 

Then suddenly for a week I feel great. I'm outgoing, excited for the future and talkative. Then the low comes creeping back and I feel hopeless. 

I started university this year In a degree that I was interested in. About 5 weeks in my motivation dropped completely, I was depressed to the point of crying all day for no reason. And I dropped out of half my courses.

I don't know what I want in life, I see no future for myself and I am sick and tired of feeling this way. I want to be happy, I want to be motivated like my friends and family but I can't seem to do it. I need help but I continue to ignore the problems I'm facing. What is the point. ",0.5977649769585227,2.829107639784948,3.343855606758833,86.86435483870967,85.50537634408602,6.768663594470048,21.76036866359447,7.957251820313856,1.2028497695852538,695,24,150,15,21,244,98,186,0.141,0.6609999999999999,0.198,0.6731,0,1,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,4,2,17,0,0,12,0,16,5,1,4,3,35,32,14,0,6,4,0,3,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,8,10,0,1,10,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,2,4,24,12,23,24,3,28,0,3,1,1,5,10,0,3,17,105,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534681818575122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360981481947353,0.0,0.12193823550182352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394007852574545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276426106814572,0.15536228150175466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276706509486635,0.09556283922447847,0.0,0.1276258784805255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793789028400972,0.0,0.2247704238062604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543241523804178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22896459973744665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428505029297753,0.0,0.16336725991884507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773871121895314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932088893969894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005814931519236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143499876431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466281862342723,0.21717751191651066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337368328598071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987244020589704,0.11428435252817985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801530541037396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178676096210396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235212165537645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807903679751156,0.1348960921178193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488146680555704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640404352862767,0.1703093258387318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226273651810413,0.34959794667608196,0.11761715335920515,0.23771962291826046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370799990409218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542206105420044
mentalhealth,Taykamant,2018/04/01,"Sugar sensitivity ever since I started neuroleptics. Ever since I started my first stronger neuroleptic risperidone, I've been having this very strange symptom of sensitivity to sugary drinks, such as teas mostly and sodas less.

Teas are the literal devil to me. I've been physically ill recently, and I drank a lot of tea with honey to help my health. The first day of drinking teas, I was fine. The second day I felt slightly hungry. The third and further days I felt constantly hungry. Glad that this has all passed, but I know it will happen again, and the only way for me to avoid this is to not drink teas with sugar and to avoid simple carbs.

The hunger usually doesn't feel like the sort of hunger that gives you an appetite, it feels different.

My doctors say that they've never heard of a symptom like this, and that my blood sugar is normal. So it's not diabetes.

I don't currently have the option to withdraw from neuroleptics, but I've been off of risperidone, specifically, for more than half a year now or about 8 months. The symptom persists.

**Has anyone else had experiences with hunger caused by a neuroleptic? What can you share?**",4.430474425500368,6.846074854460099,4.681635779589822,81.46476649369906,72.75586854460093,7.488905361996541,26.23400049419323,8.371475516178862,1.9144234741784043,916,32,162,16,19,287,128,213,0.118,0.826,0.056,-0.9445,2,2,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,3,7,8,0,2,14,0,16,24,1,1,4,31,27,11,0,1,5,0,4,2,1,1,7,2,0,0,12,9,16,2,5,3,0,1,5,3,0,5,9,10,16,5,24,17,5,22,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,5,20,110,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152533843486682,0.13411814472029215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344659723939084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145178340695574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532507528477871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675817892322087,0.0,0.1339773269747301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38468395090156376,0.0,0.0,0.10934658688878222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23680536481510606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804114161896213,0.0,0.0,0.1323696289124781,0.09351193621951004,0.25136085747047704,0.0,0.0,0.22267968345735775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255671123071299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575066243410535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913604085297762,0.0,0.0,0.08773664917456474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719368704145736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278980845153486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112828694288554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447972348609462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095485703913584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282500243638701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995521016415413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924374276120074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409353888182228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165566022716592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529734391764716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081523500646541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144163154638566,0.10800268639886844,0.0,0.10389893839404493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429255903367128
mentalhealth,moronjpeg,2018/04/01,"Putting things into perspective. I have been beating myself up the past couple of days because I am not going to graduate on time. My therapist made a good point when she said that just a few months ago I was cutting, suicidal and couldn’t shower or brush my teeth. In a few months I managed to go from failing all of my classes to passing all but one. I also have been successful at my internship and I had a huge part in creating a mental health awareness event. We had an art gallery and a panel of mental health providers and a suicide survivor. We were expecting 50 people and got about 100. I am making impacts even if I don’t pass my stupid online history class. Also, I haven’t self harmed in three months. ❤️❤️❤️",3.691500622665007,5.046418897260279,4.7808841843088405,84.42619551681197,72.35616438356166,7.774844333748442,29.02615193026152,8.296473431620573,2.0493369863013693,573,23,113,9,11,188,99,146,0.155,0.737,0.108,-0.7906,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,2,0,0,3,6,6,2,0,9,0,13,3,1,2,2,19,19,11,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,2,8,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,4,0,2,9,2,18,2,15,9,5,23,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,2,9,78,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439505259768153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972931573795743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899252950077493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796834297669009,0.0,0.10472927188700963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725824745659587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845819961059768,0.13620653100363075,0.1298795513120927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452297634952733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365904062420235,0.10839778255117956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273054639602977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888587386276495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004088139609547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758544864174755,0.15502134104781576,0.11258202195293614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351273366986332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632486044736841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447178210570808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941005601225476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552605276924375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885493875509973,0.10788589119928688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469196018329212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cactus-in-briefs,2018/04/01,"Feeling like my life is going downhill and more i try to help, the worse it gets Im a college sophomore, just turned 20 yesterday  and im feeling like total crap. My grades are going downhill, i cant seem to find work for the summer, the more i try to learn new things the stupider i feel. I barely have any idea what i want to do with my life. My parents are spending a lot of money for me to attend a US college as an international student but it seems like its all going to waste. Ive been going to therapy and it always feels like it's helping but soom the shitty mood just comes roght back. I dont know what to do ot how to pull myself together. All i want is to cuddle up and cry because i feel like a failure. Everyone else is out dping stuff and i have no shred of confidence to even say anything good about myself. whenever i push myself out of my comfort zone i spend the entire time convincing myself not to quit and it ends up being a waste of time. I wish there was a way to just reconfigure my mind to at least have some hope or positivity because i feel like i want to hide away from the world as it is. ",2.0523076923076933,3.6821185470085496,3.849068376068377,88.30565384615385,77.2051282051282,6.5603418803418805,23.238461538461536,7.365786028017652,0.8462400000000003,876,27,189,11,20,295,131,234,0.121,0.6709999999999999,0.208,0.958,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,9,13,2,0,14,0,17,4,1,1,3,41,38,12,0,5,7,1,6,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,12,0,3,8,4,2,0,0,2,7,28,10,32,35,8,23,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,6,13,127,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076770946947198,0.0,0.0,0.07418174569817021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897679084448265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248923160539652,0.08387986340135703,0.0,0.13299477457341438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396732814901468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982508142042594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784716090513173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112677186317876,0.0,0.09661719887501627,0.0,0.0,0.07204981281702573,0.0,0.0,0.10423568030836973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309408364375339,0.38965280585422746,0.0,0.0,0.09970198930235014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569925676915136,0.0,0.2479827628026523,0.09149557536113287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623515632000994,0.0,0.0,0.1083463179795678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314402745805825,0.23566168945194704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995042886420821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410034893648755,0.3197614091390555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274042238773852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014505776703376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535526391921786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112631791420905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602564569507015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674901009724956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861432301300105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248765717604884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474854911628545,0.0,0.0724714271473826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721703306301593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481235183101323,0.11865348337319942,0.0,0.0,0.13121618635691315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930240113400396,0.08658683480894187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544271317380093,0.0,0.0,0.07941539867431763,0.0,0.11116724162223944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youcanteatass,2018/04/01,"Why can't I remember having sex? (Possibly triggering, a tad NSFW but not really) My only experience with sex was when I was 16 with a guy about 10 years older than me. I just kind of consented. It happened a few times (I think, I honestly don't know) and I can't remember any of it. All I remember is that I felt intense pain during sex and that it hurt for the next few days. Is any of that normal? Am I supposed to be able to remember sexual encounters from three years ago? I haven't had sex since then. I don't know how to explain the situation to people I go on dates with who ask, so I just say I've never had sex. It's terrible to lie, but I don't know what to say. 

I posted this on r/twoxchromosomes and it seems like this isn't normal, but I just want to know why I don't remember any of it. Is it possible that this was traumatic? It technically wasn't rape. I consented. ",0.7190740219532792,2.700050352941183,3.708314100759922,86.00569096538138,82.90374331550801,8.21491697157332,21.60681114551084,8.99025400887824,1.6905465240641715,684,22,153,20,19,245,98,187,0.106,0.809,0.085,-0.7878,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,5,0,20,7,0,2,2,33,32,10,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,17,6,0,0,13,0,0,1,11,4,0,1,7,3,20,3,20,24,3,15,0,1,0,6,6,2,0,1,12,101,37,0,0.1146525518202286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163256944950706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23390300052384894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718465899508793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739414109550883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215219578000632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008442966851968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515968736852945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352405195054545,0.10138687292876104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273792802403377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939298951074635,0.25204017622852554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601344549527549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842711606937863,0.0,0.12193428956565455,0.0,0.22467031548424166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719843210113773,0.12199839874267028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948564332957395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585070506296853,0.10980545175119752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344936054241515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6493949551654159,0.0,0.0,0.18235262204783306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437537712843688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484177565247233,0.12887427199954815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346472573926542,0.0,0.0,0.06685482497777329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762504560875841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20691218990820728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766496868131673
mentalhealth,Bruised_Beauty,2018/04/01,"Apparently my life is worthless Call me Lilith. I have no family. My father died in August. I'm a 21 year old female with diagnosed Aspergers, PTSD from childhood abuse from my mother, severe anxiety and depression, adjustment disorder, bipolar disorder, OCD, ADD. I have no one to turn to, I thought I did but I got into a fight with one of my roommates the other day. I have a history of cutting and suicidal thoughts and actions. Basically she made fun of me for cutting and told me my life was worthless and that I should ""go a head and kill myself"" My bf lives with us and that's his sister. He's afraid of her and with good reason. I thought she was going to kill me that day. She's violent. I already knew my life was worthless, but it killed me to hear it. I'm not a good person, I used to get into arguments with people on a regular basis and blame others for my faults. I ran away several good friends after my dad's death and haven't been able to repair them. A lot of people want me dead because of the things I've done in the past. I've tried to become a better person, but it seems like whatever I do is pointless. I'm not suicidal. Too many people want me dead for me to be suicidal.",2.5173192239858864,4.314782448559671,4.364832451499119,84.37888888888891,76.36625514403292,7.756143445032332,25.563198118753675,8.563005593585519,1.8441049970605528,937,34,189,19,21,318,132,243,0.338,0.565,0.097,-0.9976,1,0,0,0,2,2,29.0,1,0,1,1,1,20,7,1,11,0,15,6,1,3,0,36,35,13,10,3,5,4,0,1,2,1,5,1,0,2,9,18,0,0,7,0,0,4,5,13,0,2,14,1,37,7,31,19,1,18,0,4,0,0,20,6,0,2,9,124,46,0,0.10322129862525413,0.12230035999926668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139072697931583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896401091920087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697980789579674,0.0,0.0,0.06292274557649914,0.11399981464602835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129085044417824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540048672943073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313839665662294,0.0,0.08890435325428085,0.10476744531336632,0.10712741143165384,0.0,0.2366011017969384,0.0,0.0,0.1056312261630558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730785388356583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974851926636924,0.0,0.053928868229705336,0.0,0.1173260854889844,0.2597313839565613,0.08255550195569755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593483173488508,0.0,0.1163379054461398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34259722026335904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187247675064368,0.05042871259911307,0.0,0.09114629778795573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775505686262122,0.0,0.09767048854580426,0.0,0.1046501955825605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831338921582756,0.0,0.13989084667335486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985364092711971,0.2146819550795594,0.18025771305696314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066017435349727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612868646977078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396879354757673,0.0,0.23322137334399445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33872204160399416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857564421740989,0.0,0.0,0.2458385435325292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986323742880038,0.0,0.0700804861425548,0.1122751321622173,0.0,0.0,0.12416251294289593,0.08915006044228747,0.0,0.0,0.12176519260160965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647113207145276
mentalhealth,sanons04160620,2018/04/01,I am OCD Anxiety/PTSD and chronic depression. AMA it helps me cope. I won't get offended. Ask me anything you want but feel may not be appropriate. ,1.035,3.6375958620689666,3.5133620689655167,82.78659482758623,90.3793103448276,8.417241379310347,27.9396551724138,8.841846274778883,3.0961655172413782,116,6,23,4,4,40,27,29,0.085,0.759,0.156,-0.0077,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,8,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,13,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685636138289849,0.0,0.4187034050323189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857547618046181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264594566776089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339966149783663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002017013422773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235428312932002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641687451107218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Echocookie,2018/04/01,"Someone is having trouble over in r/assistance | I hope someone here can help Quick post in hopes that someone here has a good understanding of mental health and can help with [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/88od5e/i_need_major_assistance_right_now_with_someone/). Try not to overwhelm them, I'd say comment here if you believe you can handle this so they don't get a flood of messages.",11.621769230769232,13.496420984615385,7.812115384615384,67.99663461538462,54.53846153846154,9.576923076923078,37.78846153846154,9.516144504307137,3.7092307692307696,344,14,48,5,4,94,50,65,0.041,0.721,0.238,0.8961,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,2,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,7,1,0,0,0,7,11,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,7,11,0,5,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,3,1,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378289767796225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102871261533833,0.0,0.0,0.1770543857042645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243814714760439,0.0,0.0,0.2829817252737353,0.0,0.0,0.4193249935305671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21273160483616985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043365545087007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678692399342641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5365740068113944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331796067318658,0.0,0.0,0.2197547518717254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,badvibedan,2018/04/01,"This might be a little long.. ill try to make it a short history of me and current problems im facing that i could use some guidance about. im 24 years old, i have about zero memory from any age before i was about twelve, i remember pretty much everything onward because when i started high school, i was hit hard with depression. i had a few unexplainable interactions with what i would call otherworld things. to be honest, one night i was being chased by the devil himself. this might seem a little wild and we can just say it is my schizoaffective acting up, but think about it for a second. say this really did happen, all my life ive been dealing with psychopathic criminal thoughts. these thoughts are not just generated from broken wiring in the brain or nervous system. sure there is science there and it can be attributed to that, but really, doctors hardly understand anything about the brain at all. we get chucked with labels and medications and therapies that we're supposed to go by to try and deal with our emotions, but where do you turn when none of it works and doesnt help you control your thoughts? maybe because those thoughts *arent our own*. now you might be sitting there saying yep here's another classic schizo spouting his crazy conspiracies. but im telling you, ive done and seen enough to know that there is another world out there, things that we cannot perceive and frankly people are scared to admit or try to understand because they can't control it. we think we are in control of everything, and im here to say no to that. so, where am i going with all this? im trying to say that in my life so far, ive encountered and have been exposed to a lot of dark, scary, powerful things. just humor me for a minute, and think of it hypothetically if you have to, now i do believe in God, heaven, hell, the whole nine. my experiences so far, i have had most of the signs of possession or attachment of demonic energy. ive had a history of depression and psychosis, i go through this cycle of depression coming out of nowhere, doing something, having it go away, then it coming back even worse than before. this past week, its been pretty rough. i now have adrenal fatigue from dealing with all of this, which i have an appointment to get sorted soon. now, it seems to be just getting worse, im not sure what i can tell my therapist anymore. i feel that im going to commit a heinous crime soon if i dont get a grip back on to my mind and reality. im holding on by a chin hair. i know i have psychotic episodes, but this isn't just that. this isn't just depression, this is something thats just so buried deep within that i can't fathom whatever this illness and these symptoms are coming from. with all of that being said, im at a complete loss of direction. i have a therapy course starting on tuesday, but im not sure what im can be told that is going to do anything to whatever is going on with me. it seems beyond help, i know its not, but it is getting worse, and worse, and worse. i can't ignore it any longer, but i've tried all the treatments. ive done the therapy, dbt, ect, tcms, dieting, praying, medication, hypnosis, drugs, meditation, black magic, and probably anything else you could think of that would help. but guess what ive gotten out of all that? nada. its just worse. like i said, im at a complete loss. so, what im asking is, what method is there of healing that can get rid of this? is there some spiritual cleansing i can do? there is some type of spirit or energy attached and it's really bad, and if i dont do something soon, i dont know what could happen. i feel like i need to take some Lsd and 'face my fears' or something like that. this thing needs to be pulled out of me, its not going to move anywhere with some low-level drug manufactured by a company. right now it's laughing at that idea. i know this was long, but please listen and if you can contribute any type of suggestion or point me to some reading material, any support would be appreciated.",4.861893736232158,5.750977808375637,5.55747533761134,81.69964036011878,69.13959390862945,8.891332247868979,29.588736711043005,9.105243231594127,2.3425540369696387,3155,116,627,58,53,1025,319,788,0.141,0.765,0.094,-0.9929,3,0,7,0,0,0,104.0,7,8,1,7,44,26,1,3,23,1,87,18,5,6,11,144,145,50,0,13,33,0,7,3,0,6,12,8,0,0,66,44,1,5,24,1,0,14,18,15,0,4,22,17,67,11,91,103,21,73,6,7,2,0,40,32,1,26,28,440,133,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133842764542506,0.08741713580649353,0.0,0.0,0.04133862673934552,0.0,0.0,0.10290539726486032,0.0,0.038968252801168606,0.0,0.03916282658408994,0.06410375983561434,0.03480380914743731,0.07622924689194145,0.0,0.07093882567943581,0.046962797957439545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093064682578422,0.04256330336412507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771939995722532,0.0874082808241283,0.0,0.1402540749425843,0.09984215471508824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892093656736245,0.14360703922239784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042664617399196345,0.0,0.08531296322082804,0.1465575294116738,0.0,0.09667877430053083,0.0,0.0348210432232149,0.04688809502187001,0.0,0.04306998506395583,0.0,0.027531422380385424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749245132901875,0.040774259659320536,0.0,0.046905294085292856,0.04215265149968002,0.02977855336534628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066680333861902,0.0,0.18951661132314346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04591884745338912,0.0,0.07372079795839027,0.0,0.07468008748735826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381829941180302,0.044040688391340566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705536490676948,0.5853264314474863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454024059280693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888428615782147,0.061093055427579576,0.08355522181182262,0.0,0.07377680649847164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035437645715698934,0.0,0.0,0.027823922237041686,0.0,0.04187647116151913,0.0,0.0,0.08398306624461298,0.0,0.13265816245554618,0.042088244090199435,0.0,0.0,0.04430274453947722,0.03064201702859708,0.061815268258923126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03911694745648685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04373960487890738,0.0,0.028245678599697236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039791420422828634,0.028897947452277733,0.0,0.0,0.04575573925108721,0.039404185800657666,0.0,0.0,0.08481379026439077,0.04494164071266908,0.03988528264236119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04169457381555136,0.0,0.08011015596454472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721904611712987,0.03559730508689329,0.0793007154200259,0.16574114107228638,0.04173224872739464,0.042185718613821824,0.0,0.11384071527469165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835934388173753,0.0,0.0,0.059007299681570924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04730170774894168,0.1178580331008654,0.04332490242764675,0.03134064933075337,0.0,0.0728660719611359,0.0,0.14300543732637375,0.04839751675347991,0.11077011269250296,0.10683588608356387,0.0,0.13236751659196974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983017345186513,0.0,0.14150110137764793,0.045339453912913635,0.0,0.08678755761458044,0.0,0.03600098239845825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03343582392810465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653790884692898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0303459342769129,0.0,0.2548730244507453,0.08883184772883193,0.0,0.0,0.02684267451797324
mentalhealth,PinealStew,2018/04/01,"Do mentally healthy people find themselves doing nothing? I'm a poly drug addict, so sitting around and feeling drugs has been an experience that i have enjoyed a lot, that pretty much means i have sat around doing nothing. I have recently calmed down with the rate of my drug use, not by choice, but through availability problems, in the infrequent moments in my life where im sober, i find that i just sit around anyway. Sure i end up going on youtube and playing video games, but i get bored of them quickly and end up literally sitting at my desk, alone in my room, staring forward, doing absolutely nothing except feeling depressed. Do mentally healthy people find themselves doing nothing?",12.20298387096774,9.512908169354839,10.544903225806452,63.63235483870969,56.016129032258064,12.500645161290322,48.99354838709678,10.355215969177356,5.363576129032258,559,30,87,8,5,173,81,124,0.078,0.758,0.16399999999999998,0.8563,0,1,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,8,7,0,0,5,0,11,5,0,1,1,22,19,6,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,6,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,3,12,4,17,17,2,23,0,1,1,0,2,14,0,1,6,61,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353602368793536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859945037034298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316045687205313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694475966924588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319825130581046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199500181783695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145904333294985,0.0,0.0,0.12556501988940555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404588615921178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487207477416253,0.0,0.07056690452302829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341215474119496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877027458478671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556224889338743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135254143039891,0.0,0.0,0.2502620397700199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127695034027697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4765659157017487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216337371497467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632236505365432,0.0,0.1188109437984147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259982341660525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702582355583425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724032558034607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tegix62,2018/04/01,"Coming out of a 2-year depression, I have this back pain that seems to cause dissociation (not sure where else to post) I've been steadily improving over the past 6 months and I honestly feel like I'm 80-90% of the way out of my depression, but something happened recently to my back. I'm not sure if I pulled something due to bad form at the gym, or if this is related to my previous history of back problems, but I have mild back pain that will sometimes lead to me feeling VERY dissociative.

This is my biggest worry, the dissociative feelings. I checked with an orthopedic and he saw nothing wrong from his pov, I just don't know why I feel detached for 2-3 hours of the day if I strain myself too hard. It's happened about 3-4 times in the past two weeks now.

Now I'm noticing increased anxiety, and I'm very fatigued halfway through my day, starting to become more reliant on caffeine.

I don't know, it's just late at night so there's no real place to find help right now, just waiting the weekend out before I can schedule anything. I appreciate any advice from people who might know wtf this back/dissociative thing is

edit: suddenly feel a lot less depressed. Feels like I went from a 6/10 to a 1/10 over the course of the past hour. It may be because I immediately went to make plans to fix this and also externalized it, but that drastic of a change is kind of unusual",6.580563725490192,6.216651125000002,6.926117647058824,77.70319607843138,65.32352941176471,10.047450980392156,35.41274509803922,9.558583805096642,3.140900686274509,1094,47,217,19,15,356,162,272,0.16,0.7340000000000001,0.106,-0.9558,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,16,16,0,1,15,0,14,4,0,3,2,43,37,13,0,4,12,0,7,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,14,9,0,1,11,2,1,6,5,10,0,1,4,8,21,6,35,29,5,46,0,4,1,0,4,13,0,8,27,133,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515639556788537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778729394434211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622019897849638,0.0,0.07449370068830999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080133578728203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743873369688015,0.08130634119741781,0.05936056338701804,0.10754605765218388,0.08286128021795924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003375770665254,0.10301273173106153,0.0838822962299053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560116634410107,0.0,0.251613901223517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134660229755943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954226519307173,0.1391333465846589,0.0,0.0,0.08900148558132945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222161881071374,0.0,0.08723132356257125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527024309028524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179490731389304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140392604197944,0.16054876941236434,0.0,0.10984632647874944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514768509667174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278706797833323,0.0,0.0,0.0650003942175366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330238828688013,0.0,0.0,0.07772597898484777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138240768490047,0.0,0.09343656295917717,0.1108651966352315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723355121664244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788741995385835,0.06750946040149026,0.0,0.10173900720944228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326095237260444,0.0,0.0,0.09317734117945102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083718105174607,0.0,0.0,0.0961487655077604,0.0,0.0,0.0831600535689248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864903263003625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993227559250788,0.09630906978986824,0.0,0.06892446198523866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835547255102892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646934401555025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056781740329782136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512389749015918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069365908042066,0.0,0.07729391342845897,0.07811054522793337,0.0,0.0,0.18054027173527176,0.08786825963825677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889181665106676,0.0,0.0,0.10646726653508776,0.0,0.06270806864168389
mentalhealth,lisbon1977,2018/04/01,"I have a issue.. Im starting to think that I am not mentally healthy.. Its one of the possibilities. I don't seem to find someone to love.. to care about. Yes I know.. sounds cliche..

I dont seem to have what it takes to have someone on my side. And I feel so lonely. (cliche) 

I came to this point in my life that I truly believe that I will never be first choice to nobody. i strongly believe that I am gonna be alone forever. I believe that I need to accept that. Maybe I am someone like that.. made to be lonely. Not everybody can be married. But I don't even think about it.. I just want someone to give all this stupid cumulative love that I have inside me. I despise Valentines Day. I hate emoji hearts. I am in a point that seeing a happy couple in front of me makes me sad. i avoid the cinema theaters (one of my passions).. always full with couples. I feel so different... so unnatural. I don't know what can I do, I am not worth it I guess. i don't understand the love game... Some people do. I don't. Like some can read Greek.. some don't. I just need to accept that the ""love language"" is something that is not for my intelectual. Sometimes I see people that meet in a rather simple way and about a week later they are already boyfriend/girlfriend! And other that break up and some time later already in another relation!! How they do that?! I dont get it!! I dont understand. But some will say ""It will happen before you even think about it"" (the passive opinion) ""you have to give time"" (another passive opinion) .. ""you have to learn to love yourself first"" (I like me!! Damn).. bla bla bla.. tired of the same old mambo advice.. I consider myself a good looking guy... Very clever, positive, good humor, I travel a lot (alone obvious), I like to play guitar, videogames, running, I think I have a very very good general knowledge of everything that surrounds me.. from the biggest planet.. to the small ant...but.. that is not enough! That is good in their own way.. but you lack the other side of life..! I dont know what can I say more. And then of course comes the ""bad voices"" in your head.. like ""your not worth it, you are dumb, stupid, etc""...

Im single with 40 years old. And that is not what crushes me the most... many people are single no matter what age.. Its just this crazy feeling that I have.. the feeling of acceptance that I would be like this forever the disbelief of finding someone basically - The truly lack of hope. I dont have hope anymore. And brings me to fucking low very low state of mind. Damn I am so nice guy... I think I have everything to make a woman happy... or I think I have. Maybe I dont have with 40 single, probably dont.

I dont have a response for what I am facing.. Why me? I dont understand. Mental health? I dont know.. maybe yes. There is some mental problem with me that I dont understand or do not realize I have. Oh God I just want a answer to improve myself. What is wrong with me.",0.6553217942467099,3.01031985153584,2.455061921014142,92.37144709897615,86.83276450511946,5.259834227206241,20.48746952705997,6.742157984588678,0.3812898878595812,2227,71,473,28,70,734,228,586,0.117,0.728,0.154,0.9026,1,7,1,0,0,0,154.0,0,7,3,3,17,46,8,1,25,2,65,14,3,4,3,94,116,18,0,11,18,0,4,6,0,5,4,4,0,3,43,14,0,1,29,6,2,6,27,17,0,4,2,11,82,29,52,104,20,44,0,5,3,7,24,19,4,17,21,327,125,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047304985196676315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027482295387627,0.10684168184012544,0.0,0.04028039643346062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152269559172801,0.0,0.0,0.048008994803132116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0404197242212254,0.0,0.0,0.04119272919802668,0.16362203350117535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536731648627585,0.049356484190021116,0.0,0.0,0.041700305667715695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712788843781797,0.0,0.031219978852363207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057739105443255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6240884329543939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500197237354859,0.053989140246859434,0.06394774177269565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701427340236711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790873990791003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849040430295381,0.08235381253813781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04475359651106477,0.025291849202684975,0.0928771791601448,0.0,0.16241361907203553,0.0,0.0,0.05332827630331867,0.0958655902112378,0.04280816375908409,0.10306515102354356,0.0,0.047794138813915914,0.04968188425795117,0.051456797709608,0.0,0.05736522630256277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961626698708443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458065242349372,0.05052670804183064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064178904643823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683858079263751,0.14190196491159815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04065160047501955,0.0,0.0,0.0411558361560407,0.21845631249284364,0.04580602836557153,0.06462713657633395,0.04907940872098053,0.14590087612562386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635549563632885,0.0,0.04887956981590172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178973097749894,0.037336218744031015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159478574666182,0.0,0.06560675784680284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006826920839958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091524828013935,0.05457418616712358,0.0,0.0,0.052193388257021724,0.04632114025394184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048422377217586916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699400012077481,0.0,0.0,0.07715185236525386,0.08813997527411242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050851164544245,0.03726782648228672,0.04787801275496155,0.0,0.034264335407435086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03639775167990369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611226004607606,0.0,0.0,0.05645567740794901,0.05563934259587668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158305832299106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977089335158756,0.05710609160752698,0.07685006160028275,0.03883100199056663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368184289284149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034388561436391483,0.05292794496172235,0.0,0.03117398721445644
mentalhealth,asking_for_a_friend8,2018/04/01,"Is it alright to indulge in ""childish behaviors""? Hi, so I'm someone who suffers from severe depression & anxiety. I've had kind of a difficult life growing up: lost my mother when I was extremely young, my father who suffered from Bipolar Disorder kind of failed in the whole ""I'll do anything for my kids"" and we moved around a lot, got evicted a lot, etc. Basically, I feel like I kind of had to grow up too fast. The first time we were evicted was when I was in second grade, but I was too young to really realize (besides, we moved in with my grandmother, so it was kind of fun for me.) The second time, I was in 8th grade. And from there on out, it just kind of screwed me up a lot. 

I know I've got a lot going on inside my head (working on getting into therapy, gotta love waitlists lmao) but I've noticed that sometimes I think back to times when I felt really 100% at peace, and it's honestly back when I was younger, probably about 10 or so. And I would be sitting at my computer, wrapped up in a blanket, playing either club penguin, neopets, or minecraft or something. (in my little fantasy, it's raining too lmao bc the rain really relaxes me) And I'm eating something dumb, like chicken nuggets and chocolate milk.

Is it wrong to indulge in these behaviors every now and again? Thinking about spending a day off wrapped up in a blanket, playing a dumb old computer game, eating food that a 10 year old would eat just makes me feel so relaxed. I can't tell if there's like a developmental issue here or if it's alright to do lmao. I'm 19, btw. 

I just know I've had a lot of issues developmentally. I had a sippy cup for too long, and a pacifer for waay to long (probably about like age 8 or 9... my dad just kind of sucked at being assertive and literally just didn't care whether or not I had it) and like I'm just always paranoid that bc my mom passed when I was early, and I had to ""grow up so fast"" when it came to being throw in the middle of adult situations at age 12 and up, that it kind of messed with me and I've got the mental and emotional capacity of a 5 year old. 

I don't know if that makes much sense haha, I'm just kind of letting my thoughts out as I type. ",4.112871515244607,4.511169334075724,5.454511942247142,83.5329175946548,70.58129175946549,8.598448659857153,31.072959066123953,8.641336200584522,2.25567715229245,1697,70,363,27,29,571,202,449,0.106,0.747,0.147,0.9758,2,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,3,0,0,4,33,36,4,0,21,3,28,10,1,2,0,64,55,38,0,5,21,4,3,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,18,24,5,0,10,7,1,9,4,12,0,3,23,3,37,24,62,25,9,70,0,5,0,2,15,31,4,14,34,234,55,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982713917533027,0.07790437441302861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055003835876951616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059168146727479415,0.06400686354950927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057439459587744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223524201557614,0.07330755181913916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637000092431148,0.0,0.06192796437542565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240442715644937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22071708706358092,0.0,0.08087860578057407,0.0,0.0,0.08018828247733269,0.0,0.0,0.060579437693507536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271030485794679,0.05136587181092038,0.06903594399330683,0.0,0.0,0.061158695551534026,0.0869426073809218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037565146230625165,0.0,0.04086282266566128,0.0,0.17251666528022286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379085776633537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009129312236896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5989880866441476,0.1185442269803898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352333339907517,0.050785588160572485,0.1756352418651715,0.07206338669415736,0.0,0.12725970730430428,0.0,0.0,0.07848810354461418,0.30563700405132765,0.06489318561116231,0.0,0.09598854621111856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724589906570989,0.0,0.0,0.08420922652459621,0.0,0.15283812272324449,0.052855284788635486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185941930452624,0.22634305733784985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504222300508366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818428153787496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812273211117437,0.0,0.0,0.08081939517449503,0.0,0.0,0.060921226657617324,0.11070533754060537,0.07111162714748964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284437772716975,0.0,0.08222471243929197,0.0,0.0,0.09214212594626188,0.0,0.05708112148511293,0.1257776226868456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027455970918533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052344563247469805,0.0,0.0,0.10215238345496264,0.07861212425552927,0.0,0.09260338213453972
mentalhealth,Murderous_squirrel,2018/04/01,"Tuesday I'm seeing a therapist for the first time. I can't deal with this anymore, not alone. I can't deal with doing something wrong, like forgetting a stupid till out of the safe and having my mind running circles around it until I freak out. I don't even know why. I'll get at worst a hand slap, maybe a harsh reprimand. I'm distracted, everyone knows that, I can forget things. I am allowed to, I won't get fired. I KNOW that. I still freak out. I still panic. I still feel like it makes me a terrible employee. It's just a stupid student job. 

Saying something and just deconstructing the whole conversation, trying to pick details. Worrying if I did something wrong, if people will judge me, if I'm liked, if they laugh at me, if they trash me, what they think of me. I should not have to worry that my SOs stopped loving me out of the blue. I don't know why I do. 

I'm done with all of these worries. ""What if I'm fat"" ""what if I have cancer"" ""what if I'm pregnant"". I'm done with them. I'm tired of them. Scanning my skin, stroking my ribs, it does not solve anything. It's just temporary soothing. It's just coping. Telling myself ""If the next person I see have blue shirt, then I have cancer"" is not rational. Feeling this flare of utter panic, like your blood ran cold, when you see a guy with a blue shirt amongst a thousand people in a busy train station... this is not okay. This is not a diagnosis. I know that. I *know it*. I can't help it. Telling myself ""intuition tell me..."" until I get what I want. Until I stop in the middle of the road, silently mouthing the words until it *feels* right. This is not right. This is not okay. 

I once stopped having sex for six months to make sure I wasn't pregnant, even though I had my period, the tests came back negative and I was STILL convinced I could have an ectopic pregnancy. How is this even okay? 

 I can't deal with people telling me to just let it go. I can't let it go. I *can't* okay? I just can't. I probably like it even less than you do, because you're not in my mind. You don't have to deal with all of those what if's, and what if it isn't, and everything else. 

I want to change, I want to stop being so paranoid. I don't know what's wrong and I'm done running away. Even if it means being told I'm a freak and that nothing is wrong. I want to know. 

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mentalhealth,lethargic_joe,2018/04/01,I'm having an intense fear that I'm going to be reborn again. I really don't want to still exist after dying and I just can't shake it off that it will happen. And I don't want to go on anti-anxiety medication too because I can barely function as it is on antidepressants and anti-psychotics.,4.262868852459018,4.8145404918032835,6.800122950819674,73.4710040983607,70.31147540983606,8.722950819672132,26.72540983606557,8.841846274778883,2.1269311475409842,234,7,43,4,4,85,42,61,0.115,0.833,0.052000000000000005,-0.524,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,8,1,0,0,0,6,15,4,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,13,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574607174720037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20515846437955693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34928697120431496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787136236352149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38253956196683614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29761108075917114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390398883722839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21560329203029613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26877019242493594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970131897479911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gullible_Elk,2018/04/02,"I never suffered from anxiety until 6 months ago, and now I'm a mess? I'm a mid-20s male. For the vast majority of my life, I've been quite content and happy with my life. I'd say the peak of my happiness was being an undergrad in college. But for the year after I graduated, I lived at home with my parents, and I still was happy. I didn't have very much money, didn't have a girlfriend, and didn't even have that many friends (although I have a couple close ones). Nevertheless, I was happy and content. 

Last year I entered a relationship with a girl I really liked. Unfortunately, she had some serious substance abuse problems, and refused to accept any help. I became frustrated not that she was an alcoholic, but more that she refused to even seek any help. I became a little irritable, and she broke up with me, telling me that ""she couldn't be in a relationship with anyone"" at this point in her life, but was still open to being friends. A month later, I found out that she was in a relationship with her coworker that she specifically told me she was just friends with. I lashed out at her, told her that what she did was unacceptable and messed up, but I remained calm enough that I did not insult her or call her any names. I think there's a strong probability that she was cheating on me through the latter half of our relationship, but don't have definitive proof. 

Ever since that experience, I've had crippling anxiety. I thought it was just a breakup thing. I'm over her, I don't think about her, I don't even really think about the experience. But the ordeal permanently impacted me in a way I can't describe. Now I'm super self-conscious, I have trouble believing that anyone actually wants to be my friend, I've started having panic attacks at work where I'm almost at the verge of tears, I get angry at little things. I can't relax at all, and am constantly on edge.

I've forgotten how to feel happiness. It's freaking me out because it isn't getting any better, and it isn't a problem that I've ever had before. I don't even know what's missing from my life, because I have everything. If I have a good life, why am I not happy? Why can't I just feel normal?

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mentalhealth,throwaway4179210,2018/04/02,"Advice I guess. I don’t want to explain my entire miserable situation because it’s pathetic so I’m not going to. I realize I need help, but don’t know where to start. So I guess my question is how do I find the time and money to get the help I need when I work 16 hours a day just to barely scrape by each month? 
Edit to say that I’m in San Francisco if anybody can help me find anything here. ",2.550271317829459,3.1246678255813976,4.81860465116279,86.0448062015504,74.23255813953489,8.058914728682172,25.96124031007752,8.344100000000001,1.4930449612403105,307,10,70,5,6,108,60,86,0.055,0.8190000000000001,0.125,0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,1,0,18,17,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,11,0,8,17,1,9,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,4,6,41,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985083467481716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671688396498973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383368694950725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310100058530604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713368430034063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613348995999287,0.0,0.11545047508925288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44756838713249497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4084860918820864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005428819778168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116417192219986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214628029555722,0.0,0.0,0.3012549470333751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22756591575547866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154694489342528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283405051497444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143785196124164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845393397974747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981861728873655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789004530365416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamxet,2018/04/02,who i am and my morals change all the time. Who i am and my morals change all the time and I dont know why. Im impulsive and sporadic and so are my emotions. I lie a lot and my identity feels fake. I dont think i have any mental health issues besides minor anxiety and depression. I also have ADHD. Does anyone know why I might be like this? Could it split off from about a year i spent having a double life? Could it be something else?,0.5253260869565253,2.649160010869565,2.363217391304349,94.50569565217394,84.76086956521739,5.419130434782609,17.895652173913042,6.742157984588678,-0.06893391304347808,339,8,76,4,10,112,57,92,0.107,0.863,0.03,-0.7608,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,13,2,0,0,2,17,18,9,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,13,1,3,12,4,4,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058121925660428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695054039979002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645755380886505,0.0,0.1310076727366447,0.0,0.0,0.11974371060199215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623248173103173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734623287281389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474995036399267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986419274941046,0.0,0.4014132447354163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305946615039122,0.19263598162864676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659039566550572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18203337015860724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849820573898622,0.17874308851825554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823176051221666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096068587584174,0.08366530777514583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559272808732698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258221328542925,0.1816718105363926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183851998217402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097316695169332,0.0,0.0,0.19971738780078052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090574396563363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028097756789204
mentalhealth,FlakF,2018/04/02,"Obsession over physique. I failed college back in 2012, and chalked it up to my looks. I was anorexic back then (not diagnosed, but weighed 100lbs at 5'10). People used to pick on me, mocking my thin face, my wrists, my frail body and narrow shoulders, I was horrendously self-conscious, but managed to keep it at bay. 

It all blew up when I failed med college.

I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for three months, out on medication, didn't do anything. I then got out of it, met some good people, and basically got rid of my debilitating depression from dwelling on failure.

But I just can't stop obsessing over people's looks. I have to scrutinize, overanalyze everything. Their facial ratios, their chin, eyes, cheekbones. I catch myself in the mirror probably more than 30 times a day even though I always look the same. I just wish I stopped obsessing myself over other people's appearance.

It seems I just can't.

I also noticed my memory is becoming increasingly shitty. I have good recollection of menial things, but couldn't be able to tell you what I was doing two months ago.",5.581775544388609,7.408957361809044,5.831236180904522,76.88491122278059,68.34673366834171,9.32676716917923,30.854606365159132,9.725611199111238,3.071377621440537,861,35,152,20,15,274,128,199,0.154,0.7440000000000001,0.102,-0.9326,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,2,9,10,1,4,4,0,14,9,6,2,1,27,26,12,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,5,1,3,3,0,0,3,5,8,0,2,8,5,28,2,26,16,5,31,0,3,4,0,6,16,0,3,12,105,36,7,0.14178098973333336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568029282319484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338220626568594,0.11797314129641373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166736740272912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218041658973456,0.0,0.0,0.1565859639938304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748671735754932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914370091293678,0.0,0.12211575870360065,0.14390472011294547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364500655050607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127423611481327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237838334869648,0.22679041885929616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602145811796045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571809687638284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748671735754932,0.14282943103970255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263364666712066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141859652947274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39317234555853614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286388697180955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907208813165522,0.147908493576767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23707051189907075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392283427701878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094192989608121,0.0,0.1392991025515963,0.0,0.08267363528602338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849942538590498,0.0,0.0,0.12245325308474235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304114108812712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IvaCheung,2018/04/02,"Research participants needed for study on Mental Health Act rights information (Metro Vancouver, BC) We are looking for participants for a study on the BC Mental Health Act.

**Inclusion criteria**

* 19+
* been certified (involuntarily hospitalized) for a mental disorder in BC at any time
* able to attend a 1-hour session at SFU Harbour Centre (Downtown Vancouver).

At the session participants will be shown a short video and some print materials and asked for their opinions. $10 gift card will be given as thanks.

We are currently booking for April 7–15. Daytime, evening, and weekend time slots are available.

**Privacy and confidentiality**
Participation is completely voluntary. Your identity will remain confidential. The session will be audio recorded but it will be transcribed within 48 hours and all identifying information will be removed and the audio files will be destroyed.

**Researcher contact**
Email Iva Cheung, PhD candidate at Simon Fraser University, at ivac@sfu.ca for more information.

Funding for this study is provided by the Canadian Institutes for Health Research and the Michael Smith Foundation for Health Research. No funding is being provided by a private source, and the researchers have no conflicts to declare.

If you know anybody who meets the eligibility criteria and may be interested in participating, please pass along [this posting](https://vancouver.craigslist.ca/van/vol/d/been-certified-give-input-on/6548141663.html). Thanks!",7.823482294727079,12.071077762331841,7.040355651770527,58.28291479820629,74.06726457399103,9.892005566723366,38.18292871501469,9.668497473035632,5.580755187876914,1203,68,142,38,29,371,141,223,0.068,0.87,0.063,-0.2942,1,0,0,0,0,0,66.0,2,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,13,0,24,4,0,0,1,24,31,12,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,0,4,12,0,1,4,3,2,5,2,1,0,0,2,3,5,3,26,13,3,23,0,0,1,0,13,12,0,4,6,89,9,10,0.14833939504141955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087587540276877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867731001733316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553103342583335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700097982399549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797677140270344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230066455586496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6307113610647702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921688468402904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152345210443858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456773160348378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484736612110544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109991781821563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628321102711845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668103285268795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731419698557557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299578832493365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,livelotus,2018/04/02,Concerned for a friend- Should I Be? She’s a 22F and no known health problems besides nervousness. She recently was in a car wreck and said she mistook the car in front of her for a garage door. It was hard enough to potentially total her own car. I dont know exactly where she was when this happened. The thing that causes me concern is the garage door thing. Why would she drive into a garage door anyway? ,2.031069444444441,4.610525412500003,2.479166666666668,93.1202777777778,82.375,5.555555555555557,22.63888888888889,6.937597516519254,0.6643472222222222,323,11,66,4,9,99,56,80,0.147,0.813,0.04,-0.7622,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,0,8,1,0,1,2,11,11,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,3,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,4,2,10,1,7,4,3,11,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,2,47,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28503088592778364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32518451734198284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866934034949681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143671910980164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453595751620468,0.0,0.2485523087976463,0.0,0.0,0.29493014688231345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248638402786702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654945761675417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27396119511880673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639308090029901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686681173232112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503671606845902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19710172274503288,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whater5412,2018/04/02,"Today my dreams came crashing to an end. For my entire life the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do was be in the military. At 22, I graduated and started the enlistment process, after I graduated college. Today, my recruiter called to tell me a waiver that was sent due to a shoulder surgery was denied by the Air Force. Meaning I cannot serve. This is the only thing I have ever wanted in my entire life and I feel absolutely devastated. I have no idea what to do with my life now. ",3.1156249999999983,4.885502645833334,5.192083333333336,79.21125000000002,74.625,7.3000000000000025,26.583333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.8137958333333333,378,14,71,6,8,131,62,96,0.102,0.8690000000000001,0.029,-0.7879999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,0,10,4,1,0,2,11,17,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,1,12,0,12,11,0,15,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,9,53,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086749979982823,0.2337340578079832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181002813788278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697116835189137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333084807900501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23069821657697856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330377575840535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226085787079973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108508552960991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464746823803032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862015185419913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715361733866296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874198634800193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24107432622800554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bdjaksjhbskabzkamb,2018/04/02,"Need advice or something. 

So I have come to a realisation that I'm a beta cuckold whose whole personality is basically just a bad reaction to rejection. My life is a lie. I am a lie, it doesn't matter what my life is.

Needless to say that I'm not feeling very well in fact I don't know how to feel. I can't trust my emotions.

I wish there was a step-by-step manual for being a human, I'd gladly just follow it cos I definitely don't deserve to be a sentient being with his own mind.

I can't trust any of my thoughts, judgements, decisions, emotion. I can't trust it and I don't know what to do, what to think, what to feel.",0.7360849598163028,2.5664590149253748,3.6643283582089543,87.15030424799083,81.98507462686567,6.5111366245694615,22.99425947187141,7.61054688173877,0.9891924225028704,484,17,109,8,13,173,77,134,0.161,0.774,0.064,-0.8683,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,8,0,17,2,0,2,1,22,30,4,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,10,3,0,0,8,0,0,2,8,2,1,0,2,4,14,5,12,25,2,3,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,72,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20796778335795427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472666721866045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769798289290398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833278268454737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4787935637608571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32282850621390485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339234723094485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006457951199253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21489015890903773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780526256568106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582848693706525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924507502123307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638412364334614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636812983028931,0.0,0.16895737331001284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560093506690472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135307798078388,0.0,0.0,0.2376088345709719,0.2447354889487101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onlysydneyellen,2018/04/02,"A fucking mess Today is not good. The doctor at my IOP program brushed me off completely and said all my feelings were anxiety caused from smoking pot one time 4 days ago. That the anxiety was causing my destructive impulsive behavior, lack of sleeping and not eating for 2 days. 


I called my pdoc and managed to get an appointment for this afternoon but all I can think is he’s going to say the same thing and do nothing about it. My anxiety meds were taken away during inpatient since I have addiction issues and I’m fine with that but there are non controlled substance anxiety meds. Or better yet, raise my Cymbalta to a therapeutic dose. 


I also learned that the IOP doctor starts from scratch. 16 years of doctors and diagnoses are thrown out and I’m left with “mood disorder NOS” and “borderline personality traits”. I hate this woman so much. I was open and honest with how I was feeling after waiting two weeks to see her and she couldn’t have given a fuck less. ",5.052435597189697,6.836696573770496,5.563594847775178,78.45602459016393,69.60109289617486,9.162997658079624,31.650663544106173,9.606745405546679,3.15764668227947,775,34,138,18,14,249,128,183,0.145,0.7909999999999999,0.064,-0.9127,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,4,0,8,0,14,10,1,4,2,34,30,16,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,7,15,1,2,4,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,8,7,16,4,19,21,6,18,0,0,1,2,8,6,2,1,11,92,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139795171229715,0.0,0.0,0.11367266589128573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254955141604782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923979571598365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204810839174668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134135120692341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094235967383033,0.0,0.0,0.2634655132475673,0.0,0.0,0.13445204720401344,0.0,0.143826552259033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165402042840289,0.0,0.0,0.13015591229239154,0.0,0.0,0.1469685175660032,0.3937621308928285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121650622660008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967902436183915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371025400877176,0.06699753938199693,0.0,0.07287895417721729,0.1075575055104728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660559818117312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384411257346265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932779543231189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848805425634109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942675426426614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304502290275918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689541257623194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196993026075022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198093169705915,0.1019776868415274,0.0,0.0,0.10218676036322344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060773877377559,0.0,0.1283276951846523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076545342575744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519369263475515,0.08216786477983669,0.0,0.0,0.07477490950078175,0.0,0.12155186676701088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526704509015502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286245043834934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257919060630373
mentalhealth,Evalangos,2018/04/02,"My actions cost me my marriage. I live in WA, near Seattle. This is going to be the hardest post I've ever made, so please bare with me, and be warned that this post contains difficult topics. I'd also like to mention that I am not making excuses for my actions, I feel awful and don't want to do this to anyone else. I feel like a monster.

On March 26th my dog Pepper passed away, she died peacefully and wasn't in any pain, she knew she was loved, I found out about this over text that night, several hours after her passing, this crushed me and created a void in my heart.

My fiancé, and her whole family cried with me that night, we were all shook, I spent the night at her house ( we live separately, this is for the best) and slept on the couch. Her younger sister went off to school and I move in to her room since she lives in the same room as her sister, and we snuggled for a bit, which was all nice and well.

I'm not going to defend my actions or beat around the bush, I know what I did and I can't, at least for the moment, properly explain why I did it. I molested her, I feel love through physical contact and she doesn't I was hurting and wanted her to feel love but that's not how she feels it. I knew what I had done right afterward and felt sick to my stomach.

April 1st I texted her mother about what happened and she had opened up to her family, I begged them to let me call the cops on myself but they wouldn't let me, my fiancé has called things off with me and doesn't feel safe being in the same room as me.

I need to get help, from a therapist or specialist, sex and sexual things never was something she liked and it had been a rough spot in our relationship, and now I've ruined everything and scarred her because of my actions, I need help, I don't want anyone else to be hurt like this because of me.
",4.505962732919258,4.518351243386245,5.085702783528873,87.87274327122154,69.63492063492063,8.37285484242006,26.487692661605703,8.04050195162591,1.2960438003220611,1422,38,318,17,23,457,189,378,0.08800000000000001,0.813,0.099,0.5264,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,4,0,2,2,9,18,1,1,14,1,30,9,3,3,4,64,60,28,1,6,7,3,8,4,0,1,2,0,4,0,21,28,0,2,12,0,2,11,11,7,1,0,21,8,66,11,49,32,8,50,0,3,0,4,41,25,0,2,16,220,87,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633907231331738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491585645222199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349525684273156,0.19561944793514596,0.0,0.08497935461328454,0.0,0.0,0.08968751252989944,0.0,0.0,0.1163826708828227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017904569217516,0.0,0.1042172476833972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495001442693166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485797700843337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990720776163609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768839643637116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948862851768691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634874652833434,0.0,0.0,0.08579300590167631,0.0,0.17998178288448002,0.0,0.28960369738086583,0.0681964150963961,0.0916562637244713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466661290853428,0.0,0.0,0.04987374330821525,0.0,0.10850387302977337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441468054419493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312018146652432,0.12796922378401468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400855678113376,0.11014765507662314,0.20438312545816895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246214412684118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522798258777224,0.0,0.1865471128983615,0.0,0.2528779413657365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25846826697442205,0.09032625816979872,0.06372007824581831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014585335780515,0.0,0.14156428761869708,0.07362439079944766,0.0,0.0,0.26874733167705106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157583086719696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478606360511906,0.0,0.0,0.18284797358532395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024879724798129,0.0,0.08152204589104954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661029340249493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784226787964404,0.0,0.07896523447934976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348952608160246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083604705915574,0.12683834054617554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891377917911626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582971736040773,0.0884920805479447,0.086137514193153,0.1065773246438732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tehcatbob,2018/04/02,"Trying to recover from stress Last year I pushed myself very close to the edge for a very long time, almost the whole year. To recover, I quit school and is now""only"" working full-time, instead of working plus studying full-time. This change happened in December.

However, even though I'm doing less I am barely functioning. I have no energy at all, no ideas for work, no will to meet friends and have fun after work, and mostly want to sleep to get away from my stressed out brain that only thinks about how nothing matters anymore.

Is it normal to continue feeling like this after things have eased up? Worried that this is my default mode from now, like I will never get back my energy again. How long time has it taken everyone else to recover from crashing at work?",6.554791666666668,7.2985254513888895,6.137500000000002,79.5575,65.31944444444444,9.177777777777775,31.972222222222214,9.150863307647796,2.7403388888888887,611,23,109,10,9,189,94,144,0.093,0.772,0.136,0.7702,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,6,10,6,0,2,3,0,11,2,2,2,2,18,19,7,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,1,9,4,25,16,4,22,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,16,75,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821176794613374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688338288201374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296787196113995,0.10613245037241864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408117761747522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460117979242075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153018996477177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116399184576314,0.0,0.0,0.13188848573142015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978941960390511,0.0986048508017204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663751654859704,0.0,0.14422438513457142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220547585788729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581305038988286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250852678787568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486376233145062,0.0,0.0,0.24429497659462945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645313334851143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352348697820886,0.13243839203435204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497398007372064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468062248115278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968833337350697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812434833029485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162135830098685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169745673445508,0.08844063442482904,0.13560853607593906,0.0,0.16096658841087774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370968977867833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277696133581612,0.08141052561569663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409961330813407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5024180129072254,0.14017075080496502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777667224791405
mentalhealth,ascaredanon122,2018/04/02,"Just Read This And Let Me Know Your Thoughts... I'm a skeptic. I want to be given hard proof, otherwise I'll explain it away for something logical. When my friends and I went ghost hunting, I explained away everything because I didn't have substantial evidence and because the logic made more sense then it being ghosts...

So, naturally, with myself, I am a skeptic as well. But maybe I shouldn't be, because while I know that I'm fine and there's nothing wrong with me, and I see or feel nothing wrong with me, there's a part of me that says ""that's not normal, that's wrong"". It's likely the psychology student side of me, if anything.

For the past few months, I've been experiencing some differences, I guess. Some days I'll be normal, but what if I can't tell what's normal? Just today, I experienced something abnormal. I kept seeing figures and people out of the corners of my eyes - I explained it away as my lack of sleep. I usually don't sleep much, though, and when I do, it's constantly interrupted by me waking up randomly or some overhead voice criticizing my life choices. I've never heard voices before.

I'm a psychology student, I know the signs of schizophrenia. Lack of appetite? Check. Seeing things? Check. Paranoia? I don't think so, but check, because everyone else thinks so. Agnosia? Is that what this is? My feeling fine and thinking everyone is wrong that my behavior has changed and that *I* have changed when I see no difference in myself? People sometimes find that I'm rude when I talk to them, and I don't mean to be. It's just how my voice comes out and sorry if you don't want to hear the truth because I speak the truth I don't sugarcoat things.

But I also know that I'm not schizophrenic because these things fluctuate. Sometimes I have no appetite. Other times I'll eat anything around me. Sometimes the people staring at me are hard to ignore, other days it's easier. It's never consistent. I'm always consistent, or try to be, with all my work and with my life so that I'm more organized, because I have a tendency to be unorganized.

I'm not schizophrenic, I know I'm not, because I have too many things that say ""not schizophrenia"" but I might be. It runs in my family, my grandfather has it and my great-grandma had it, but at the same time maybe that was just bad 1940s medicine and my grandfather and mother being paranoid, neurotic people because they *are* neurotic people. My grandfather once said that he'd kill the cat we gave him if she had a chip in her, and so my mom lied and said that she was a kitten we found in the wild and we didn't tell him we adopted her from a shelter because they put chips in their pets and he'd take her out back and kill her because she had a chip and he thinks the government tracks those chips. He's neurotic.

I'm not neurotic. I'm not paranoid. Everyone has their own worries. Like my friend doesn't take the stairs because he's scared of them collapsing and I don't eat breads or carbs because I always find mold on them. It's just how people are, we all have something we're paranoid about. I'm no different.

I don't really know how to end this or what to end it with. Just let me know your thoughts. I'm just curious. I'm not actually going to go to a doctor or anything because that's a waste of money. Why waste money on something that you don't need to? I need to save my money, since I'm a poor college student and I have to pay for something big in about a year, I can't afford to go to a doctor. So that's why I'm asking here, because doctors are expensive. The college lets you visit medical professionals for free but there's no way I'm going there for no logical reason because it's unclean and there's dozens of people there at a time and I hate crowds and being stared at.",3.566176649334864,5.119231930942898,4.619330137078805,84.67606658113309,72.98406374501992,7.761127242442659,28.03495622031648,8.388109219054641,1.940731532626556,2976,115,595,50,59,972,278,753,0.155,0.782,0.063,-0.997,2,0,5,0,0,0,98.0,5,5,7,1,35,24,6,1,29,0,55,15,4,5,7,133,119,62,4,14,32,2,4,2,2,2,8,10,1,0,46,42,3,2,27,1,10,9,29,13,1,1,19,23,92,12,63,83,14,56,0,0,7,0,52,24,0,16,24,390,138,13,0.0,0.0,0.05018370787893029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041124821092897966,0.08557999512222378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695600470271245,0.04577945014471441,0.04807574546501474,0.0,0.14494738259017542,0.039542907619340456,0.04293800592812234,0.5015745015842696,0.0,0.04375917165638657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880236942406828,0.0442983718088962,0.0,0.0555725169674485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633017235356016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118558640118902,0.0,0.15790802555955175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052419102471005,0.04295926787806492,0.0,0.09109516431311697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741733152391925,0.046217774356066936,0.0,0.0484792282432139,0.0,0.0520043881493531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940036474209022,0.0,0.0,0.0563852244967899,0.07946217110488761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690480984421173,0.0,0.0,0.05669661238241109,0.05665080324437264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213399676055273,0.050771870794797995,0.0,0.0,0.05796008899969559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378902574853758,0.0,0.197834131093162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577576648422722,0.07264646859218746,0.05024764128554537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048659894529211684,0.0,0.052137217242654216,0.10332732025767648,0.056017264678091205,0.0,0.051805613876873685,0.0,0.05455415279210872,0.0,0.06022872975842403,0.04104721104491784,0.0,0.03780353763146658,0.07626246724047306,0.07932477584411751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115772632993998,0.09868799001797762,0.0,0.0,0.054766302465288484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568862545804057,0.049091300287446564,0.2495629612356622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051696664533770885,0.0,0.0,0.05143925051647693,0.0,0.03294438583946115,0.05287380832257201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978345380066002,0.08179097946144905,0.05148573064689066,0.0,0.1639173328394598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253956777459402,0.0,0.10292494570399284,0.0,0.0,0.19794867298777288,0.15258291107436933,0.05756645126046257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733090254887685,0.04133373558509766,0.08989601731730615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665882763868928,0.13180511048544366,0.050525129643462986,0.08165194200496481,0.08995957757966559,0.0,0.04874520371152827,0.0,0.0,0.0349144262000222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056637740184466635,0.0,0.0606639888623553,0.04081903654895185,0.0,0.0,0.04623755128191418,0.047671799910485424,0.09280673063569328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03743825569082687,0.0522249230142599,0.0,0.0,0.22490211977610255,0.0,0.03311622910862503
mentalhealth,darya90,2018/04/02,"Having entire conversations with people in my mind Hi, new here. Signed in to reddit especially for this, because it's been going on for a while and it's driving me crazy.

I've always been talking to myself during the day, but lately it's nonstop. I constantly either talk to myself or have conversations with people in my mind, very long conversations about things that I don't feel comfortable bringing up IRL or conversations in which I am funnier and more charming than I actually am when I'm talking to these people IRL.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in my teens. Took all kinds of meds over the years, 3 years ago began taking Effexor for depression but not I am in withdrawal (gradual, according to the doctor's advice) because the pills stopped helping me and had a bad effect on me physically.

I don't know how to stop talking to myself and to other people in my head, and I know it doesn't sound serious but my mind is always active because of it and it's getting really difficult to relax ever. I can't read because I drift off with these thoughts. I can't watch movies like I used to, and even at work I sometimes catch myself doing this during the day (even thought there are people around that I can have real conversations with).

Did anyone experience anything similar or has any advice? I'm starting to really worry that it might be a symptom of something.",7.8594731124388915,7.462665737642587,8.426922868006521,68.10514258555135,62.72623574144487,11.164475828354156,35.51575230852797,10.608840637214634,3.87657979359044,1111,44,187,24,14,372,148,263,0.138,0.785,0.077,-0.9376,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,9,9,0,0,9,0,23,5,1,3,2,39,38,16,0,0,8,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,17,13,0,2,6,2,0,6,6,4,0,0,9,3,26,5,38,27,3,36,0,1,1,0,11,14,0,4,17,138,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.10314165584808953,0.0,0.0,0.2065650226628314,0.09369095264377628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589099684847234,0.0,0.0,0.07187523666221549,0.0,0.08085527451458135,0.0,0.0,0.07390338588474518,0.0,0.08697678388961325,0.09408966557697003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824969731064887,0.2577192220899149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142171764887706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632718861150034,0.0,0.09103369755712684,0.10727672584503707,0.0,0.0,0.12113396225413944,0.10818182444926312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961918256177647,0.0956058647516658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338857042220596,0.0,0.0,0.053441833333951916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522051621004005,0.0,0.0600680787329811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084720722880271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084415694126793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006356512326146,0.11617281912314352,0.0,0.11922692522713373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051636528503983946,0.0,0.0,0.09353546352434013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740170432867432,0.0,0.0,0.11212415124730538,0.32016105928769845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020794867596482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366372988766709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057221496397571,0.12030239627721462,0.13541998588777082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136805655790487,0.10453362101965986,0.0,0.0748104368972615,0.0,0.0,0.17672907664862186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985606515241876,0.07946839396922241,0.3398098794070176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021809649317969,0.0,0.0,0.1678177412064069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742942020330895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128528966732004,0.0,0.08720824578217587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694616135842122,0.10733692793735004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612635853646676
mentalhealth,username90586,2018/04/02,"I’m done. I’ve been suicidal before, years ago. It was a reaction to events or circumstances in my life at the time. The main thing keeping me from ending it all was a fear of hell. I grew up in a very religious home. 

Now I’m almost 40. My faith has eroded away to being agnostic or even atheist. I just don’t care. So, if I no longer fear hell... 

I just want to vanish, like a bubble popping in a breeze or a light turned out at the end of the day. Poof. Gone. I’m done. 

I don’t want to “get better”, I don’t want to be happy. Yes, this probably all sounds pathetic, but I don’t care. If someone said you’ll die tomorrow I would be relieved. 

I hate people. I hate the daily struggle. I hate anxiety and depression. 

That’s my Monday morning. Thanks for reading. ",-0.8771226415094341,1.25566494339623,1.7623034591194973,94.22760613207548,97.67924528301887,5.165723270440252,17.94575471698113,6.816661863887847,0.26496415094339604,582,18,129,10,24,199,102,159,0.249,0.601,0.15,-0.9739,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,1,5,17,5,3,11,1,15,1,0,0,2,18,32,8,2,6,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,1,0,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,9,0,0,7,3,16,8,17,20,3,20,4,1,0,0,2,8,2,6,11,79,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243760405115099,0.0,0.14049984858005604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733649957462416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182553656761065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939317937877,0.0,0.0,0.1240924848649745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861100822951498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048811787639864,0.0,0.12084849748861932,0.0,0.1456192665204179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871709765026869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485454107490435,0.0,0.0,0.09267320171517623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31577473333690903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330600199274061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936223337738244,0.0,0.4155801982358371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074202089468574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247136653496584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910485650835367,0.06854820855012267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972730459181603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127753581461895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403476215740221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346660943885028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888391263928208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668211254198446,0.0,0.15347598587980005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917827617161404,0.0,0.0,0.09321549805649218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181568629883502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261661021629205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577015714187144,0.24827480376966216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967195095074263,0.0,0.0,0.09035481551985584
mentalhealth,Yeamf93,2018/04/02,"Does anybody else feel guilty when somebody shows you love/affection or is nice to you? I don't know why, but when people show me affection I feel guilt. I feel like I don't deserve it. It makes me uncomfortable. Even if the person is the closest person in the world to me (siblings). I also feel bad/guilty when someone gives me a chance: My first job, I was happy and excited- but also guilty. I felt like I wasn't good enough to get that job! Or, when I got into university of my choice: I felt guilty. I still do with grad school. I feel like I owe the school something, that they are giving me a chance and so I must return the favor.  ",1.1470879120879118,3.4015369615384614,2.4637362637362616,93.9376923076923,83.23076923076924,5.252747252747254,18.516483516483518,6.5431188927421005,-0.0975824175824176,495,12,108,5,14,159,74,130,0.126,0.627,0.248,0.9577,3,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,1,9,9,0,1,7,0,9,0,0,2,1,20,23,14,0,2,5,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,8,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,5,7,24,8,7,17,1,11,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,10,69,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423990063181321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654316412401787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326279228219161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660582549738686,0.0,0.0,0.15659815181949624,0.0,0.10010149423846328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831570471489111,0.21654367485602105,0.2910355939152364,0.0,0.0,0.12891369519512558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918190156712172,0.29077318938426194,0.0,0.12711821796285147,0.12121340284459528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133447930095204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007924467472833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329136849784909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221282304778748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678546075380207,0.0,0.10116499442059293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105070042529241,0.26466619753998344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067660951491893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841314507167,0.11667542948293902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103304177897255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675597052999444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acosed,2018/04/02,"symptoms of trauma, but not traumatised? ive been struggling with ill mental health for 3+ years now and ive been seeing people for it but due to me turning 18, im currently not in mh services.  
the other day i saw the school/college counsellor for the first time. i had my initial assessment and she was very concerned (lol). i told her about some of my symptoms and the fact that i already had a depression diagnosis, but she felt as though there was definitely more to it than that. she asked if i had considered bipolar, and i said i hadnt been manic/hypomanic afaik. she then seemed rather convinced i may have experienced trauma, and have repressed it.  
my upbringing was very good and i really dont remember anything bad happening, but after bringing it up to my parents they seemed to think that i had some symptoms too.  
  
all in all, im very confused and i dont entirely know whats going on. does anyone relate? anyone 'seem traumatised' and ended up finding a diagnosis that actually fit?",3.791498452012384,6.061607747368424,5.102507739938083,78.3866718266254,74.15789473684211,8.260061919504642,29.59752321981424,9.007467420416297,2.7893900928792577,792,35,141,18,17,263,116,190,0.12,0.75,0.13,0.4391,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,6,9,0,3,6,1,18,6,0,0,3,33,33,16,0,2,8,1,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,10,9,0,1,8,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,15,5,24,2,19,17,5,18,0,1,2,0,10,6,0,8,10,102,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.12537789034556884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178081131454132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967232609239653,0.0,0.10572804540954203,0.0,0.12011140264358205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727538530834167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285893397923846,0.0,0.11065958614121414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243366342114117,0.0,0.301155071290687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379509411516417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336089306689507,0.0,0.11742833975974255,0.1092849733868352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301811209764672,0.10776288001073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361438876880868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656817079748598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775607701607401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060921631222235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294775631524955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266177147922826,0.0,0.0,0.08907181493930147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230754102998969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554272909177934,0.0,0.12221384685039313,0.0,0.0,0.1300285609438885,0.10238187975301308,0.3508899426248286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431513180164772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006195627912469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232475930882628,0.12623089109749505,0.0,0.07491768763232744,0.0,0.0,0.12276809086747704,0.0,0.0,0.13974928340669124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318028224009056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273687053688526
mentalhealth,dank_succ,2018/04/02,"WTF is wrong with me??? [18M] I just need to vent, even if it’s to a bunch of people behind a screen, even if nobody responds, I need to put it out there. I am 18 and graduating HS in 2 months. But I don’t know if I’ll make it that far without doing something I regret.


I’ve had bad anxiety since I was 12 and am on Zoloft and lamictal for it. I also suspect that I have a form of depression but have never seen someone to diagnose me and don’t intend to self-diagnose. I thought I was getting better over the past year but something has been different inside me over the last few months. The smallest things set me off. Make me want to get violent. I even get ideas of “what if I was dead/away from everything right now”. I’m not planning to harm myself or others actively, but I have urges and fantasies. Something in my daily plans go awry? I’m cool on the outside, but I have momentary flashes of taking a baseball bat to my car or house’s windows. My sisters like to fight and argue a lot. They were fighting pretty hard this morning when I was going to drop them off for school. At that moment I kept my mouth shut before I said something I would regret (which I’ve done before) but had the urge to stop the car and run into traffic or backhand my sister(s). And it scares me. Hurting my sisters is not something I’d ever want to do consciously. I despise domestic violence (had an abusive stepdad). But I feel so out of control from my lizard brain or whatever the hell is causing these thoughts and I hate myself and the world for it. June can’t come fast enough. And I fear how this will affect me with a partner in my future. I can’t tell my parents cause they’d probably flip their shit and file a 5150 or something for me. They know I have problems but not like this. Sorry for rambling but I’m scared of myself and don’t know what to do. ",3.0869893549267573,4.384191453825856,4.295814757528888,87.54097625329817,73.77572559366754,6.916240560458558,27.05313438267673,7.372421405659032,1.3523737785460828,1447,53,300,16,29,475,202,379,0.21,0.713,0.078,-0.9954,2,0,6,0,4,0,42.0,0,0,5,4,11,23,8,3,16,1,32,5,3,8,2,72,58,35,0,12,23,3,2,2,1,2,2,1,1,1,18,19,0,3,9,1,0,7,10,19,0,0,15,6,49,4,43,40,5,40,1,4,2,0,15,17,2,10,16,208,67,2,0.0,0.1179331270102806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959839247891685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614427896231164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351674845500202,0.0,0.08310786909949562,0.0,0.0,0.1693945226990361,0.0,0.0,0.08803093842384731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111438154296263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450046868617847,0.0,0.08574090030583598,0.0,0.0,0.11163737137335172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572966084618906,0.20205259305463932,0.0,0.10399326754779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185923256001893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284663571303476,0.0,0.19722650221581906,0.09003543281237687,0.0,0.0,0.08945596466878132,0.0,0.0,0.11200495395202736,0.050328069381595474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560093543426854,0.0,0.11313647925218212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916413299685116,0.09827056242467418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485044307896185,0.10655466292225944,0.11236330743379996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410609450510655,0.08113460427581003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725589962207473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462140476803144,0.0,0.0,0.13288125315908833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588963515506962,0.0,0.0,0.1476084184075887,0.0767678068030864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052223951952486,0.0,0.09501776503181804,0.0690052868619652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126324606115816,0.10731595434403998,0.09524189823003364,0.0,0.10006052996837543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850026547072412,0.09468092197473076,0.0,0.19930452151208186,0.10073509958560993,0.0,0.0,0.10383708970260107,0.0,0.10217161802371036,0.08233667944613565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433598863397886,0.4597631039678629,0.0,0.11142168790711306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321601895407338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483820437698363,0.0,0.08699829298406564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612687124839296,0.0,0.0,0.1580399173456672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741706994650725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594853637572548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070706486598936,0.10882629227030323,0.0,0.06409750928898966
mentalhealth,gordomate,2018/04/02,"Partner Suicide Attempt Hey all,

I'll keep this short. I found out my girlfriend was messaging her ex, sent him nudes and was 'still in love' with him. I've woken her up to talk about it and she is a mess. She said she wanted to commit suicide over the weekend (and ended up taking a fuck tonne of pills) and that was the reason she did what she did. 


She suffers from depression and refuses to see a psychologist. She tells me she isn't in love with him and she doesn't want me to leave her. I will stick this out until she gets help but I am so fucking worried she's going to hurt herself if I leave her. I feel like this a situation to warrant calling 000, she won't even let me tell her family.",1.8175437665782468,3.606122234482761,3.32689655172414,91.07660477453585,78.3793103448276,6.116710875331565,22.877984084880644,7.010146845296331,0.6275782493368696,544,17,119,6,13,179,91,145,0.16899999999999998,0.752,0.079,-0.8949,0,0,0,0,0,3,13.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,2,0,6,0,12,6,1,1,2,21,28,10,2,3,2,1,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,1,6,10,0,2,3,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,9,3,30,3,19,16,1,14,0,3,1,5,36,8,2,1,5,85,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672748028676057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109477694213807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509265741152838,0.0,0.0,0.10819915014456792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443146972961966,0.0,0.08283046559655582,0.11703042880053414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796161656367273,0.0,0.3028911404329007,0.08558727840749288,0.0,0.0931006033766146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980264220300777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536878425466468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560749334764067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469157099140802,0.0,0.16751331051503915,0.0,0.08003239093703704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29570129233910497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843048508306185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582685659597428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054041669949884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413643415782804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082394383344675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35837698347427793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316950340285915,0.1316693719586106,0.2863654100989991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324624791208786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636344904556832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GotohellFoxMulder,2018/04/02,"I feel unworthy of school, and am avoiding my schoolwork because of it (22F) I feel completely frustrated with myself because I'm going downhill, and my only response has been to put my foot on the gas! I'm encouraging a loss of control in myself. I'm a student at a good university, and am failing this semester...but this is nothing new. This happens almost every single semester. I just barely pass by the skin of my teeth. I like class, but I can't stand the homework- I don't have a whole lot to say when it comes to having a critical analysis on, I don't know, say, eighteenth century poetry. Most people just bullshit it (and then there are the few ((bless them!!!!)) that actually take interest in these kinds of things and have something new to say). I imagine that my professors think of me as ""nice, but not a hard worker."" I'm very kind and quiet in class and office hours. I avoid having the same professor twice because I'm convinced they dread having me in the class, but our department doesn't have THAT much faculty! I feel completely unworthy of being in school, but I don't want to leave the university because then it will all feel real. I feel so scared that I'm going to fail this semester- and I feel even more afraid to go and talk to my professors about it. What if they think I'm just a lazy person who knows how to turn on the tears when she wants to? What should I do to keep myself from failing this semester and how do I approach any work in the future? There's a lot of shame when I'm on campus. I'm from the U.S. btw. 

*TL;DR* I'm struggling to be a part of school and pass my classes because I feel unworthy of being in the classroom. 
",3.246039714413212,4.922776861445783,4.524230254350737,84.52715082552433,74.06024096385542,7.689602855867918,26.7541276215975,8.401726058763845,1.835790138331102,1306,48,260,23,27,431,164,332,0.183,0.7559999999999999,0.061,-0.9926,0,2,1,0,0,0,51.0,1,0,3,7,13,21,1,7,20,0,24,3,3,3,1,50,55,25,0,4,9,0,9,1,0,2,0,4,1,1,19,13,0,4,12,0,0,9,6,12,0,1,1,13,33,9,40,49,11,31,1,4,0,0,12,12,0,5,10,179,52,19,0.0,0.0,0.10587940877333324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864611273336217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378306563593666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307000290042001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346231306906767,0.22751835167456394,0.0,0.12169089566690483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716625905484277,0.0,0.09141511805563753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840226113731384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849875089779027,0.09100384439233783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959453399465358,0.0,0.09719382561832594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068496958124112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643892916545932,0.0,0.2259701011567973,0.11925646629530676,0.0,0.0,0.1148848139803896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053007148897837454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448400230375767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797592761303443,0.0,0.0,0.2095780917443366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410775207504268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251840666421488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749388373457535,0.0,0.0752195708361933,0.09473717395833496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090714996507285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349565737636607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588483667626513,0.10862646367835636,0.3294204532818448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835278593362401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342675096282155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157777282556047,0.0872074159347014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208193896786698,0.13904360360508408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801579578995047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952306832436162,0.12799108607267712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113529989840048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898859103063394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FinnsChips,2018/04/02,"I don't feel any emotional attachment to others. I pretend I do, because it's not accepted to not care about people, but I just don't. I never have. And I don't know why. A bit of background, if it helps. I'm 17 years old, and male. I'm very aware I'm mentally ill, I took 9 months off school last year because I didn't care about going, I regularly see and hear things that others don't, or hear the voices of others morph into them saying odd things which they apparently never said, I have many beliefs that others don't like, it scares them. Sometimes I believe other things, I don't feel safe around people as a result and often seclude myself. I used to cut and burn myself very often but I've recently replaced that with punching walls or punching myself in the face. I used to not be able to leave the house without having severe anxiety attacks. I often leave my body in order to avoid snapping completely, or sometimes activate autopilot in a way where I look down at my body and don't think it's mind. I was sexually abused for around 8 months in 2015, severely bullied since 2006, my mum fell ill with cancer in 2013, and multiple friends I used to have began using me as an emotional and physical punching bag because I'm weak and they knew I wouldn't fight it. I've often had violent thoughts over the last couple years, I have extreme urges around vandalism. I've casually thought about hurting others, but never made a plan to. Maybe that's where my lack of emotion towards people came from, my brain trying to avoid me having feelings towards them because it knew I would hurt someone if I  could still feel. It's starting to worry me slightly as I don't quite know how I'm going to manage it during adulthood if I live that long.",6.639121281464533,6.276629104347826,6.985491990846683,77.32125858123572,65.20289855072463,9.466056445461481,32.94050343249428,8.841846274778883,2.679608695652175,1391,51,260,19,19,453,177,345,0.235,0.7070000000000001,0.058,-0.9965,1,2,0,0,2,0,33.0,0,0,5,2,15,17,4,3,9,0,22,8,4,7,3,65,56,22,0,7,14,1,4,1,1,2,4,5,0,1,23,16,0,3,13,2,0,5,17,10,0,0,12,11,40,7,40,40,2,41,1,2,2,0,14,18,0,10,17,168,63,2,0.08402956852219433,0.09956129808207123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714298809177736,0.0,0.06428238992043543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244123938634855,0.0,0.09559576509637888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489458014749007,0.0,0.0,0.09467254855293156,0.0,0.0,0.09173852535879676,0.1866758150358768,0.0,0.09380478871758843,0.0,0.09610744065691172,0.17134749077109618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881034038660772,0.0,0.0,0.06709077291675096,0.0929771193018711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835658635502524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995149860342082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492103619589014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551188050665907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894148616150663,0.0,0.056323248513142285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695884004878184,0.17991078208776565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923609065934639,0.1369906272453988,0.0,0.177950360306254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105260268249008,0.0,0.07419964849815898,0.07436352388582856,0.07056367417102204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951080948566831,0.0,0.08519279351920822,0.08441899592220355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846820411049296,0.0,0.08484591007009679,0.0,0.13414319981113845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442635050869125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817489686915939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747665675117064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937578952739192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296906151298611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993136224217774,0.06682368558876982,0.08412825716746736,0.0850424094690184,0.06696068676727729,0.0,0.0,0.1898589887286569,0.0,0.06951012741916061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119798072259867,0.0,0.1662147837979075,0.0,0.05947656109782477,0.0,0.06710612196724307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747653453695185,0.05384275454375585,0.0,0.13342018242547088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335994247695552,0.057050561180827235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29029827031686484,0.0,0.13866638863828296,0.0,0.06669876023845181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582361562798369,0.0,0.0,0.08100150545324987,0.0,0.0,0.08533610572661028,0.0,0.05969219455206544,0.0,0.0,0.16233686133201033
mentalhealth,chcemto,2018/04/02,"How do I deal with possible PTSD from a abusive relationships? How can I get rid of it? I'm a guy. I have experienced emotional abuse from my mother during my whole childhood (think emotional extortion, sexually inappropriate behavior, hot/cold behavior, gaslighting, mockery, etc.).

I have carried forward some unhealthy patterns from this and I have made poor selections in my partners. One of the last people I've dated has seen my weakspot and decided to manipulate via threats of killing herself if I break up with her, she cut herself when she wouldn't get her way, worked on undermining my sense of self-worth, etc.

This was a very challenging experience for me, during which I started to experience intense states of anxiety when the thought of this person even crossed my mind. 

I broke up with this person and cut all ties with my mother at roughly the same time. Some time later, I started dating again, this time with a much kinder (also sane) person. But I notice that I am still afraid of intimacy and that my tolerance levels for what I find acceptable have dramatically changed and I might overreact a lot more, resulting into anxiety attacks and very intense reactions to conflict (get scared, think about ending things right away, etc.). My general anxiety levels are also elevated, I have nightmares and very poor sleep quality.

My question is, how can I manage this and how do I deal with my state moving forward? I have not experienced anxiety like this in a relationship before my negative experience with the woman mentioned above and before I cut ties with my mother for good.

Thanks!",9.414096244131457,9.323557757042261,9.078507042253523,63.6965399061033,59.457746478873254,12.502910798122064,41.11643192488263,11.855464076750405,5.215125164319248,1289,63,203,35,15,416,161,284,0.205,0.726,0.069,-0.9909,0,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,6,2,10,0,17,1,1,7,1,45,29,19,1,2,3,3,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,13,18,0,1,7,0,2,4,3,9,0,1,4,4,38,5,33,23,11,34,0,1,1,0,21,13,0,6,18,147,51,3,0.0,0.2303541105707795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547639045258524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974592143882962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058954567344574,0.09133128222719568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543580926373894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283448791503796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20043691887843487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869462513605706,0.08609853464830318,0.0,0.3252420007881109,0.06420578714205044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852678732384889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884748554506985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523634494029743,0.0,0.0,0.08153449962451739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962524322004734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754762286099116,0.0,0.0,0.07923850608505081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749152511925479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826438208023202,0.0,0.09198173463314888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312364327562584,0.09815362257357428,0.0,0.0,0.10331803952624152,0.07145997746715932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067336563162257,0.0,0.0,0.06587149776711035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739264820131419,0.2546380801639208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958881372080276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363240118296343,0.0,0.10889659774723733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20873269143965525,0.0,0.08301616101273526,0.0,0.0,0.09732340892997822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141043932726294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727944475087727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761040279129544,0.0,0.07763142575178114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949720900700711,0.0,0.0,0.06458150053938677,0.1245755135030844,0.0,0.07717327929341497,0.1700504711878385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406234141892869,0.0,0.07716017110502606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853064648017788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076948549517134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themajeramcat,2018/04/02,"School counselor Hello everyone, I hope you feel fine today! I'm from Poland, 17 this year and I want to ask about your experience with school counselors. Do you think it's a good option to visit one? Do they treat everyone seriously and actually help? I know it might be different in every school, but I need to know your opinions. My parents don't support me with my problems (I told them like, twice? about my mood and they laughed at me), my friends can't help me and I've been having mental problems for about 2-3 years now. I won't be getting into details but it's getting worse and worse, I can't function properly, sometimes it's even suicidal in a way. I just want to talk to an adult who might actually help me, but I'm afraid that they will make it even worse with their attitude and I will just be scared to tell anyone else about it. 
Sorry for being so chaotic in this post, it's a hard topic for me. ",1.7437724039829303,4.0124638324324335,3.1327738264580383,89.94453769559034,80.94594594594595,6.056899004267424,23.250355618776673,7.273561745256523,0.9002972972972976,719,25,150,10,19,234,105,185,0.205,0.652,0.142,-0.9604,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,5,0,10,14,0,2,4,0,16,0,0,1,0,30,32,10,1,6,5,1,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,11,10,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,2,2,27,8,22,21,0,12,0,0,0,0,22,5,0,5,5,97,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.2343105417737937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394446571168328,0.12300938945775253,0.0,0.0,0.11223417362127693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543075456183386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028961346378584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585889136599023,0.0,0.10115057349718813,0.2294332581638429,0.0,0.11743573316548522,0.0,0.0,0.060702849973176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275333145483483,0.0,0.12544639664559645,0.0,0.0,0.10069550033432534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754469731905662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414087595054393,0.0,0.0,0.11924059338686913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319569477739624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058652262607196276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013689849300598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209860761183402,0.2547163937660357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901843233281595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135161748679011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333056285824182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497843303276666,0.0,0.0,0.2297507029559316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019487948754687,0.3645028139752797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873635910386934,0.1343904919837222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131946141434608,0.13623572263210154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649476282067633,0.1049323844889106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692568004566837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379704263858778,0.11471662908192146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162178022785873,0.09529318351230076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670354868556882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546215278206822
mentalhealth,GreatSageSunWukong,2018/04/02,"How to explain to a child? Hello

Long story short my ex is very ill, he went, well full retard as I like to say after his own father died and became emotionally abusive, he just got angry when I tried to get him to see a doctor, but he blamed me mostly for everything right down to him cutting himself shaving because he was thinking about me at the time or some rubbish, he ran around threatening suicide, telling everyone that would listen that I was abusive to him, he clearly had twisted memories, an extremely negative attitude and alot of anger, said he had to leave to start a new life and get it right this time, new job, new woman, new home, new child etc there was garbage talked about emigration to America to pursue a job in Hollywood too.

He did leave eventually rather then get help, he got his new home, new job and new woman (possibly more then one, I've noticed him eyeing up the youngest sluttiest looking things that walk by and he never used to be like that), but as we all know external doesn't fix internal, he's got money troubles been evicted and had to get a new place after less then a year, he's sold alot of his belongings because he needed cash or just abandoned them, pretty much everything he owns thats older then 4 years  he just treats as nothing when it used to be important to him, it seems the more it used to mean to him the less he wants it. He's getting fatter and fatter, lives off takeaways by his own admission, he's scruffy, looks like he's aged ten years in one and just generally looks like a dosser and his movements are strange he seems to move very stiffly now.

A angry dosser, he still can't take criticism or responsibility for anything, the anger is always just under the surface ready to lash out, he's still miserable and doesn't interact much, I realised a while ago that he was trapped in a bubble of negitivity, that everything I say or do just bounces off it or is interpreted thru some negitive filter as hating him, against him, trying to manipulate him etc.

I only interect with him when he contacts me, I express that we love him and we miss him and we are here for him to support him, but I know that he's incapable of understanding any of that right now and emotional stuff makes him angry, so I really am just saying all that in hopes that in the future he will have drifted out of it enough to know we love him and won't give up on him, I keep things short and to the point, matter of fact as I have found it triggers him less.

Our child on the otherhand is 7 years old, he doesn't understand why daddy has changed completely, he keeps looking to him for care, for explaining why he's doing all this to us. It doesn't end well the man wants to see our child and doesn't want anything to do with me, but everytime we see him (i wouldn't allow that man to look after a stick insect let alone a child so I'm always present), the two of them end up at each others throats because my child wants love and answers, and his father wants to get angry and run away everytime his behaviour is questioned. 

Then my ex walks off, the school counselor calls it repeated trauma, he's repeating the act of abandoning us again and again. 

If our child manages to hold his tongue and not question daddy or accepts the silence and ignoring of his words, the meetings tend to be strained but uneventful, then he blows up in school instead to get his frustrations out, he's been excluded 4 times for trashing the school , he's hanging on at that school by the skin of his teeth.

Our child has insecurity and anxiety issues he sees the school counselor once a week and is on a waiting list for therapy,  his father has parental rights and I've been told by a social worker I can't stop him having access to our child, if I try he could goto court and get unsupervised visits with our child, I can't do anything because I have no proof of anything he's not been violent its all psychological.

I can deal with that man because I've seperated who he was from what he is now, I know he is very ill, I tried my best to reach him, I read a lot of psychology books and articles to try and help, I'm sure he has a severe mood disorder, my gut says severe\clinical depression with at least one psychotic episode, he also exhibits severe anxiety which imho is getting worse and possibly some form of PTSD, I can turn to logic to help me.

How the hell do I help my child? He's 7 he doesn't understand why daddy isnt daddy, he's getting more and more broken by all this and his interactions with his father, because everytime he tries to treat him like a normal person and the fact is he isnt, he can't take the tears of a child, he cant take a child wanting daddy to care. And our child is internalised it all that he isn't wanted, he did something wrong etc, his father left us when he was 5 he can't remember daddy living with us, he can't remember most of the visits, the school counselor said he's surpressing memories and thats very worrying in a child that young, he's been seeing the school counselor for about a year now and he still won't talk about his father.

How can I get a 7 year old to understand that daddy is sick? There was and still is no holds barred with him, all the emotional abuse I got was infront of that boy, everything he said and did was infront of that boy and about half of it was aimed at him being bad, faking love because he wanted something etc, and he doesn't talk to him like he's a 7 year old.

How can I get him to understand daddy is sick and stop internalised it all as being us, something wrong with us, we were not good enough for daddy, we are bad etc?

I don't tell his father about our sons psychology reports, exclusions, nightmares etc anymore it just makes him more angry and more rejecting and blaming.

We are in the UK, England to be precise, I've had three bouts of counciling myself to try and deal with that mans actions and had some help from a behavioural psychologist in how to deal with him, we are on full state benefits, I'm now a single mother of nearly 40, I was with my ex for 13 years and known him for 15 now, I feel kind of bad that we've cost the tax payer so much money in all this help when the person causing it is still walking around refusing to look at himself and get help, I can see no end in sight to this until he does finally realise he needs help and gets it, another fear I have is that if we did end contact he really would kill himself.",9.831669176592284,6.2788308076027946,9.426717473645784,72.4943283286938,61.327385570209465,12.809571183011608,39.083664187164395,10.59048541779884,3.8248545946850414,5097,178,1034,87,51,1656,453,1289,0.175,0.728,0.097,-0.9991,5,2,3,0,1,1,109.0,25,0,2,2,51,51,8,4,57,0,99,16,5,14,16,197,192,89,3,20,26,13,2,6,0,6,6,8,2,25,53,76,1,11,26,3,6,14,29,26,2,7,38,24,120,24,155,140,48,136,1,6,14,4,225,50,1,23,77,656,173,17,0.0,0.12235226883288702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030512762998220925,0.0,0.0,0.035650503470506766,0.0,0.027527023611149573,0.057283229051623676,0.0,0.0,0.02340793854507686,0.03609415708659888,0.052665017460112255,0.0,0.034137080184761186,0.0,0.0,0.11330451525076014,0.06128522734201624,0.0,0.0,0.03234032324761598,0.0,0.08622205312425453,0.14688205545123326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03612345385588172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03514840754220122,0.0,0.07019044099305853,0.03536057107878537,0.03641359782842394,0.0,0.03609050090269923,0.0,0.0,0.02748292908404969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646179363538867,0.02964736252574385,0.0,0.035724293433357014,0.0,0.0394502540213153,0.03523207179551272,0.030122664432255263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615934918918065,0.1219496485222043,0.07113364180940883,0.2303357881918975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0328914125152865,0.12374402924018515,0.0,0.0,0.03873398590078075,0.01740464739332138,0.0,0.0,0.037707293333750114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03774162087020354,0.0,0.0,0.2517748690450117,0.033020434247015784,0.0,0.028871291515759994,0.11012072211919358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03398430556071154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457713660156885,0.0,0.06905554976326479,0.0341885180644062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0359273150993668,0.1024746872039701,0.061191182768057524,0.03808251458886743,0.03584490692622305,0.07566907148905246,0.0,0.0,0.07289522717000635,0.03739928124107318,0.035198523661605995,0.024313066939385716,0.10090023285066498,0.0,0.060789989117182225,0.03046212414231992,0.1734333681525966,0.0,0.0,0.02926410112710788,0.12426772419653202,0.0,0.04595350834702111,0.0,0.0,0.03749532585059985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03658482301033178,0.07591173738718618,0.05104651353086509,0.026548139536918997,0.29920225899375297,0.0,0.0,0.03372596071435563,0.033028552576863386,0.03918933723633288,0.10835936145744396,0.03665799050291069,0.0699751107827529,0.02617925638336186,0.0,0.0,0.0382212278673456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060111407050857435,0.03596335355574964,0.0,0.03253963559974745,0.07761059679939976,0.0,0.035019246977952036,0.0,0.0,0.04023712901038787,0.0,0.07712037071702459,0.0,0.034431018199649464,0.0,0.044102848973331034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798615922643584,0.1175837858160958,0.09822876669579028,0.1094940798759206,0.0,0.243856209263188,0.16457784513478518,0.06267245160523434,0.0,0.07777345373071842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035088591582970036,0.0,0.07949852644204426,0.0,0.0,0.024363858691014564,0.0,0.13744608319088691,0.05755617035058544,0.0,0.0,0.03940461484126944,0.03765175643001172,0.039061340873350135,0.032442047899905464,0.0,0.07764251091302812,0.08300058347861025,0.060172171585912176,0.0,0.039364217487989635,0.0,0.045736500185430136,0.02205603752176295,0.0,0.0,0.060214715840116874,0.0,0.0,0.0328914125152865,0.0,0.1635905388000843,0.03744092863842728,0.03362500235526167,0.17917103487793676,0.24843042428733825,0.08918789905253173,0.0,0.11360604028264815,0.16242249905363856,0.0,0.027611014020233426,0.0,0.061898490110576715,0.03190926372074967,0.09318069954802218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03495691046671242,0.035078656287044985,0.04890438068976588,0.07526945767483832,0.0,0.1773315863966711
mentalhealth,ughhhhhhhhfuck,2018/04/02,"Idk what to do anymore using a throwaway b/c my other account uses the same username that i use for all other social media. 

i’ve (19F) probably been depressed or what i think at least is a mild form of depression since around september 2017. it kind of triggered when all my friends left for college (i stayed behind at a local CC) and this guy i really liked at the time basically led me on and dropped me from his life. i would come home everyday after class and just cry, feeling so alone and hopeless, watching as all of my friends were thriving, making new friends and experiences, while i spent my days watching netflix and wallowing in my sorrows, not wanting to do anything but lie around and sleep. i got a little better around thanksgiving, getting to see my friends again, and finally feeling 90% like myself once i decided to stop taking hormonal birth control pills for other reasons, in mid-january. however, it is the beginning of april, and even though i thought i felt happy two days ago, i suddenly feel my depression creeping back into my life. i don’t know what to do, because i genuinely don’t even know if i have depression or what is even wrong with me. i know that i have experienced derealization episodes (i haven’t had one in about a month, the last time being while driving, aka so fucking scary), but i know that derealization is a depression/anxiety coping mechanism, but i had those episodes when my mental health was improving, which i find to be odd. i don’t even think i know the last time i felt genuinely happy. i feel like i keep on going through these periods of feeling absolutely nothing (what i often perceive as happiness) and feeling absolutely miserable. my mom has actually said to me on multiple occasions that she wants to get me help (i haven’t explained to her about how i feel about my mental health, she’s basing this off of my random crying outbursts for virtually no reason), but she hasn’t really done anything about it (i don’t even know how i would go about getting a therapist). 

so i apologize as that was kind of ranty and all over the place, but idk where else to get this off of my chest or where to get advice as to what is happening in my brain and what i should do about this. :/",10.032211813687224,7.4215008875878254,9.662135050741608,68.04172196200889,60.03044496487121,13.235961488420505,42.22339318240957,11.645159339076185,4.807069841269841,1777,79,326,40,18,579,216,427,0.113,0.779,0.109,-0.4284,1,1,0,0,0,1,50.0,0,0,0,2,28,22,1,1,13,0,31,9,3,11,4,76,73,35,0,6,11,1,9,3,4,3,5,1,1,1,25,18,0,3,24,1,2,5,9,9,0,2,13,14,57,13,56,55,7,55,0,7,3,1,16,23,1,6,28,235,82,2,0.0,0.0,0.0732152239086076,0.0,0.0,0.07331521033664856,0.06650663128899041,0.0,0.0,0.0777050210011499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739521029695259,0.0,0.07440631336018266,0.0,0.0,0.12348114163898335,0.20036897437975745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057690891281529384,0.0,0.04573557210157683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663550077869358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375459565164102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462884764512981,0.0,0.0,0.08414880926436964,0.0,0.0,0.16482658565975594,0.09677201279105564,0.0,0.25848150274763937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677834964281606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267516988243363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777209627730085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339049650513116,0.0,0.0,0.26555023118653737,0.05359908027631681,0.14407477079993367,0.0821880684748131,0.06857303281327272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318617294578612,0.06936096328724249,0.19599173706410228,0.0,0.08527879057269458,0.0,0.06000569551572235,0.0,0.0,0.0742882159370983,0.06634585164912937,0.2396019106946192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949972002508314,0.0,0.0,0.0502888068881778,0.0,0.07525788449298673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668716678869277,0.0,0.1562574984552852,0.24739623077379574,0.12231352737807245,0.0,0.0,0.08151671509126635,0.0,0.1059871358445348,0.10996274876129238,0.07519645072162927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500808962506783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121850832268174,0.0,0.0,0.08787034919046778,0.059885585870375735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246124195049777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719901297816446,0.0,0.0,0.0799009731866807,0.050840024904836786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838691943392014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089145831747918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961280338864879,0.15427986009233194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713675603985791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978655590423975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206285089786951,0.0,0.07508087050561464,0.07648025919496783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996846586162153,0.0,0.06272566991288027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564107315349236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711176643869156,0.0,0.09614814333540056,0.0737133391733832,0.05956280901850304,0.13124599384144528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732901715214453,0.0,0.0,0.19439690591351133,0.0,0.0,0.08850536788676397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659361183188557,0.0820299044893872,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gvngech,2018/04/02,"I just feel down and in the dumps Lately, I've thrown all my school subjects exempting the ones I enjoy. I'm debating moving with my father or mother. I've been just in the hecking dumps man... Any suggestions to just get motivated and get the fuck out there and conquer the world. Anyone else feels the same? Post your opinions below! ",2.717366071428572,5.401217968750004,3.4632142857142867,86.51750000000001,80.25,6.1571428571428575,21.642857142857146,7.447530270364453,0.9807169642857142,266,8,49,4,7,84,46,64,0.132,0.778,0.08900000000000001,-0.4574,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,3,0,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,15,7,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,2,5,1,7,6,2,9,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,2,1,30,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015359002550268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21608362740715495,0.3166416612914507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581580963651325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125135625070897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856967803657286,0.3229148247299468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486036015705551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32845403627761444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094093095113757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29596896796798583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127587172310425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LittleAd3,2018/04/02,"Feel like my consciousness is waxing and waning. Lapses in focus, active vision, and attention, like drunk or a drawn-out microsleep episode, or like 'lost in thoughts' against my will yet about nothing, despite full rest and nutrition. I feel like this is slowly ruining my life. I nearly get into car accidents. It feels halfway between drunk and sleep deprived, despite being neither. You ever get caught in a daydream or lost in your thoughts hard enough that you don't see things in front of you? Imagine that happens against your will despite not thinking hard about anything. Feels like narcolepsy, if you just periodically got delirious without falling asleep instead of periodically full-stop-off-switch falling asleep. It even fucks with my motor skills and I get clumsier, in addition to reducing my active vision I can focus on, and overall mental capacity.

Napping helps. Will actually cut an episode short if I can stop, close my eyes, and relax my mind.

Can't do anything about it at work. I'm getting all kinds of shit for it, EG people thinking I'm high at work.

Any ideas as to what the fuck this is? I'm keeping up on multivitamins and such, and I go to bed at 10 or 11 and get up at 7. I usually get a full 7-8 hours each night. I might average one alcoholic beverage per day over the week (~3-4 one night a week, and a couple more over the week), and vape ~1/4 gram of weed on friday nights. I cut back on the drinking and weed to almost nothing and not at all for the last few weeks, but it doesn't seem to have helped.

This is really making me worried.",5.227957142857143,6.490269043333335,5.6360952380952405,80.09900000000002,68.56666666666666,8.247619047619049,31.619047619047624,8.563005593585519,2.4693047619047617,1243,52,231,19,21,398,172,300,0.099,0.828,0.073,-0.7588,0,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,6,0,5,10,16,5,0,11,0,16,12,5,1,3,52,45,22,0,2,11,0,6,5,0,4,2,0,1,0,12,19,4,2,13,5,0,6,7,9,0,2,6,8,23,7,41,34,10,49,0,4,2,2,8,26,3,9,22,145,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.09660300874516567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579354344235052,0.09912731380072314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673187186956478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292581199374506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611960160010901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953400843094876,0.0,0.06384237525252294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697557409371918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228635925250462,0.0,0.06538402453938306,0.08954494779778516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002155908965105,0.21216212192955408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303509530680692,0.3103189278757272,0.0,0.056260073463373216,0.0,0.07917384417072823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753929230711273,0.0,0.17735678910492778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270600818394676,0.10459167022777056,0.0,0.0,0.09748828614147258,0.0,0.0,0.11175118710778242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798963675259662,0.0,0.10308610480121047,0.0,0.0806926082047183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699217708030593,0.24181519937915336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612537672937465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607867872546698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976178520031484,0.1050160604309161,0.0999548351113786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786950216807021,0.0,0.18997314398827425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416060508445676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686293675369154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341752986908661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888470286002364,0.09011962184228124,0.0,0.0,0.10161501884945362,0.0,0.0,0.09906461529233722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552536796730224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576663263570409,0.12686159292574628,0.0,0.1571789650656143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902694004887628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176252504508749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542583861336372,0.0,0.1441363460280763,0.10053232229937199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rawrsy88,2018/04/02,"Sister needs help — has threatened suicide multiple times, I want to help. Resources/advice needed I’m not sure what more to say here other than I am so worried about my sister lately. She has told me and her fiancé multiple times over the past year how when she gets super depressed or anxious she wants to kill herself. The most common thing she says is she wants to go in the bathtub and just sink in.

She’s never fully done anything to my knowledge, only discussed it. She has issues with depression and anxiety, but has never really had a therapist or anyone to talk to.

She’s close to getting married and the stress of the wedding has made everything far worse. Family drama and financial stress and all that.

I’ve tried talking to her about how therapy helped me at horrible times in my life.. and sometimes I can talk her down when she’s super upset. But overall I’m just getting more worried about her and not sure what I or anyone can do to make sure she talks to someone or gets resources to help? 

Writing this I’m in tears because I’m so worried now when I get a text or call from her fiancé that something bad has happened... for anyone who has experienced this or has family who have any advice is appreciated. ",5.915310734463279,6.635320474576273,6.295999999999999,77.94617514124295,66.71186440677965,8.666214689265535,31.411299435028248,8.648137234880735,2.5259946892655365,976,37,174,14,15,315,129,236,0.212,0.711,0.076,-0.9872,0,0,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,2,14,12,1,3,7,0,17,1,0,4,6,40,36,23,2,5,12,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,11,10,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,3,26,5,27,32,4,23,0,2,0,0,35,9,0,7,13,123,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570829700301604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809758972026596,0.0,0.0766056512132216,0.11312796154782374,0.0,0.21005742803613656,0.0,0.08240542389221474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836114350292977,0.061043478477098075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022525683549748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249822539291568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247641646460927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999799488220009,0.0,0.18880326437670816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615910730621233,0.0,0.056910997038755275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855211340077977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684828075703975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451854009596058,0.0,0.0,0.11078837416608668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296054962410078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073075888726085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475343630936926,0.06684320260829671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850280507960226,0.15446591424871206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615981462625533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559349522096153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415126451860069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926825238860412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484699596688741,0.0770914822563425,0.0990395018749584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294165453898465,0.0,0.0,0.10953522697784003,0.0,0.28313795296223826,0.0,0.0,0.3219500181891834,0.0,0.0,0.11451706125229127,0.11626847539792615,0.06652754617564004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517463173898706,0.0,0.0,0.09568659412159472,0.0,0.06798744410010897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719278249228645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050864144571476,0.10204965034290997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448588793727948
mentalhealth,norentalvan,2018/04/02,"Seeking Advice from People Who Have Made It I’m a 25 yo female getting my 2nd degree online and working full time plus. I have minor financial setbacks, which cause of course minor stress. I keep getting completely overwhelmed by everything, my depression is taking over my life, and I’m constantly tired/sleeping/cranky/crying. My psychiatrist, who is usually phenomenal, just wants to push meds to help me (note: I do not live in the US where doctors are glorified drug dealers). Does anyone have any coping mechanisms or words of wisdom to help me get through finals this month? I’m at the end of my rope with this feeling of helplessness. I literally had a full emotional breakdown and curled up into a ball on my bedroom floor while my partner tried to pick me up because I couldn’t find my student ID card which was not needed at the time (obviously underlying issues and not breaking down about my missing ID card which was found in the exact place I last put it down).",6.486970534069982,7.673648889502767,6.590842541436466,74.67458793738491,65.62983425414365,9.348250460405158,33.31537753222836,9.516144504307137,3.2304692449355428,783,33,132,15,12,250,125,181,0.065,0.843,0.092,0.4621,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,7,0,11,3,0,3,2,25,25,7,0,3,5,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,9,7,0,1,3,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,5,1,19,1,26,19,2,29,0,4,0,0,6,17,0,1,9,85,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796239829351602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992746608035042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130293592388146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854027047481223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660589620209222,0.0,0.0,0.1694868305538479,0.1746861002109668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17756480990638115,0.0,0.0,0.13922881043730367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165455508599507,0.14146090507927064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746254798212006,0.0,0.0,0.18183436491455907,0.14317381927524253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528049480682798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173503968687533,0.0,0.0,0.17707954935653347,0.14774506779297725,0.0,0.0,0.17724075702084094,0.0,0.0,0.2533661816438814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21670102307283876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872048362303738,0.0,0.143681846549595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176623267983634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417809544150255,0.0,0.0,0.1427398114070446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529570312059813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795565826240978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902739723257914,0.0,0.0,0.11986134263549897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206767773073956,0.0,0.1688897260441068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250278400398427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516939891125286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215405971261862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885186976291723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974966200573566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19444491012157866,0.0,0.17803451233604792,0.0,0.09534529130481564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768304266589798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,captaintadpole,2018/04/02,"Can anyone relate to this? So for a number of years I had a personality that can be described as “cringey.” I won’t go into detail but long story short I was overcompensating for deep fears of not being accepted by trying too hard in everything I did and emotionally abusing myself if I didn’t live up to whatever perfection I had imagined for myself. I ended up with the cringe because I lost the ability to just be easy-going and every social interaction became either a chore or a competition. This obviously is not very healthy and after years of self examination and life generally progressing I am learning how to connect with myself better to have a better relationship with myself and others, and as a result I am sort of creating (discovering?) a new personality from scratch. However I am still plagued with embarassment and shame over those years I spent in that cringey and unhealthy state. I’m haunted by constant punishing thoughts about the way I acted and how stupid I was, when in reality most of what I internally worry about about has faded from everyone’s mind but my own (hopefully anyway). I think part of this ongoing mental punishment also is fear that I really haven’t changed and that i’ll “relapse” again into those bad emotional habits. I guess it just takes a lot of time to change and grow in this way. If anyone else can relate to this it would be nice to hear other’s thoughts & stories as well. ",9.163551185656447,8.173609571428576,9.468947368421052,63.61917004048586,60.42857142857143,12.545517640254483,38.13071139386929,11.661520659325953,4.574853441295547,1150,47,193,29,13,385,159,266,0.197,0.7090000000000001,0.094,-0.9873,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,5,15,15,3,3,11,0,23,1,0,3,2,47,34,24,0,4,10,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,1,3,16,17,0,0,7,0,1,3,5,8,1,0,10,3,23,7,42,18,5,30,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,8,13,150,39,1,0.0,0.14725714837444984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939049857139597,0.0,0.134662513854473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738056244652716,0.12734445069450762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037726050459252,0.07576285205981284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198395868854135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629536483181165,0.0,0.0,0.13430770083558916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382399094255,0.2796073122598767,0.11007943083900136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047152926798145,0.1187594392619935,0.1116991518512177,0.0,0.0,0.2797098752642983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126781621205664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369137039212705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133475635944008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007798672021615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234428358052548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778601998679195,0.0,0.0,0.10974574316235268,0.1099881247176543,0.0,0.0,0.13567152564439702,0.10566248070819076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524983233304648,0.0,0.12549220438908076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003502091923307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458831192304532,0.0,0.0,0.2170413627353787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962001649359016,0.0,0.0,0.13343534802902113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965613744621596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266926879151188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992539907547042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344669174300953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963667255727283,0.0,0.19733647489587866,0.07247145826861902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438121151981604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254796471930433,0.0,0.1973029565108544,0.0,0.0,0.11174694874049117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262172332498356,0.0,0.08828834616744445,0.0,0.0,0.2401059823075484
mentalhealth,ClassyCrash,2018/04/02,"How to help a friend? I've been texting a girl for about a month now (platonically) and until now we've just been venting to one another. Now she's opening up about her mood swings, life is pointless, nothing makes her happy but everything does, how she doesn't care about anything? She says she just wants to ""sleep."" I know she's a really reserved person and I'm not sure what to do to help her, I'm worried she might hurt herself.",2.4685344827586206,4.52483911494253,3.435158045977012,89.80377155172415,77.39080459770116,6.189080459770117,24.66810344827586,7.1686216300943375,0.9533,341,12,71,4,8,109,57,87,0.174,0.743,0.083,-0.846,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,3,1,14,12,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,11,4,11,9,0,7,0,1,0,0,16,2,0,1,5,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436201928078983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118930929158787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368777961343386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033151598267493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088048779612102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949900413054878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473215650725559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114542715245962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487160411277176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768350388075694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410285025671498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508330803848064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24646736833917174,0.0,0.0,0.18544505901238892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229286675856121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743406834285728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286320221509116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883772662265202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475960518135454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324996284039507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897001072765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703533940705154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23594426232025334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Unusual_Bat,2018/04/02,"Why can't I stop thinking about killing myself? I don't really want to die or kill myself, but lately, I keep almost fantasying about it. I realize that it would be terrible, but it just pops into my mind as a solution to everything. ",5.076666666666668,5.788994782608699,7.063913043478262,71.72818840579711,68.56521739130434,11.35072463768116,30.55072463768116,11.20814326018867,3.769385507246378,184,7,34,6,3,65,36,46,0.271,0.6409999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.8445,0,0,0,0,0,3,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,13,7,4,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,6,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671244868293882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768577492065724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23974927227812334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23711110149814416,0.5902671969072741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009201438761316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693544595480439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089512943246507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22302570946489586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093087974104626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734365604873266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24071200357897066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950069354580412,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,camboni,2018/04/02,"Seeking Help I would really, really like to seek a therapist, however I'm under 18 and I live with my parents. I don't feel like my parents (primarily my mother) would really believe me if I told her I needed help. My plan is to go to a normal doctor and ask them to tell my parents I need a therapist. Is that dumb? I already have something going on with my eye and I've asked to see a doctor about it, but I was told to wait a few days too see if it clears up. Is it wrong of me to mess with it to make it worse so I can see a doctor? And if I do make it to a doctor would they even be able to help me?",0.6827005347593555,1.6938385000000018,3.721524064171124,90.40208556149729,79.44117647058823,7.0042780748663125,20.451871657754012,7.686295010490155,0.5202147058823523,460,11,113,7,11,167,71,136,0.107,0.797,0.096,-0.6672,4,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,4,5,1,0,7,0,12,5,1,2,1,22,28,9,0,9,4,4,1,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,5,22,2,18,21,1,6,0,0,4,0,15,3,1,3,3,78,29,4,0.11542636831768692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737586769704193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158161459253254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004599037014564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444045857970731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725751160286565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623802766182587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836303999573673,0.08246062058943446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311989302332864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23210358479977605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278298629790515,0.0,0.1019235979336164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540959943049902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711743790907251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309333361283093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38450196668115866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218352616161724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27593961374073633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886085755309174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088773353278348,0.0,0.0,0.2680378202067908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205896828317888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762933046624716,0.2459867409257692,0.1262006138205274,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MysterySalmon,2018/04/02,"Can anyone relate? I'm on medication for obsessions and mood, which is helping but for the last 48 hours I've experienced kind of an acute onset mental health issue. This happens sometimes when I've been stressed, or overstimulated and tired. With some rest it can go away with a few days. I hope. I don't know what this collection of symptoms would be called. Hypo-mania, depression, anxiety? If anyone has any similar experiences, or any idea of what this might be, please let me know.

1. My preexisting obsessions/compulsions get worse. (For me, it's a fear of my impulsive drive to climb things.) 
2.  These urges to stab myself with utensils kind of bubble to the surface. If I'm holding a fork or a chopstick I kind of want to stab myself in the hand with it. 
3. I also want to lash out and break stuff. 
4. The thought ""I'm going to kill myself"" loops in my mind and exits my mouth without registering, in almost a tourettes like fashion.
5. I get tired and depressed easier.
6. Thoughts loop in my head easier, and I'm more obsessive in my actions. (e.g, Is my dad a pervert? Should I tell him not to be a pervert? I need to zip up my jacket before I put it in the closet. Otherwise I'm a bad person.)
7. It's a little better when I'm lying down in my bed, distracted with a TV show. (So basically a warm comforting place.)",1.3122186653533632,3.813855732824429,3.4244496429450884,85.5642464910121,85.18320610687023,6.586752031519331,22.573750307805962,7.831003766801068,1.374598227037676,1030,37,204,21,31,349,159,262,0.241,0.648,0.111,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,0,1,51.0,0,0,0,2,4,18,1,5,17,0,14,8,3,0,0,36,33,16,1,8,8,1,2,1,0,3,5,0,2,1,14,12,0,1,5,2,0,6,3,9,0,0,3,3,23,8,35,23,4,28,0,2,0,0,6,16,0,9,6,124,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198815821733748,0.0,0.0,0.09742182586808536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568766351808906,0.0,0.09319427760908698,0.0,0.0,0.170362977597766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445673838382925,0.0,0.1017171339713074,0.0,0.0,0.1036624181685829,0.0,0.0,0.10774256221824767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439492505575052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856577036811206,0.0,0.2098519789303437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191662905280978,0.0,0.13708476742375805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272950008095636,0.0,0.13846966047654435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772769513013797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502556547279187,0.1294921746055392,0.0,0.0,0.08165540304702823,0.0,0.0,0.12099774754468545,0.11997113629115885,0.0,0.0,0.1375233623427411,0.0,0.12715158329361334,0.0,0.0,0.13477912313748058,0.3805797891723167,0.13390149277200245,0.09930202160461442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457229271913485,0.0,0.059516574534688914,0.12209867108269196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272387721034105,0.1227689520723325,0.12923497373248316,0.12300652335507738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033022644632227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637116299094257,0.12727912822080487,0.13372509427468066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246578383388047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048608276053065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954785894104488,0.0,0.13945821312516415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266207640048289,0.0,0.0,0.10647868990770412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093380199441312,0.0,0.0,0.1934277417968492,0.0,0.2800352834633309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370874820492466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743304496468868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414806601534345,0.08653957883436351,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoverHawk,2018/04/02,"Divorce and Dizziness I'm going through a really nasty divorce where I've been and still am being abused (mostly verbal and emotional) and I've gotten to a point where any time shit comes up about the divorce or anything, I get SUPER dizzy.  Idk what do to or if this is even the right sub, but I need help and I don't know where else to look...

Leaving the house isn't an option. We have a baby together and if I leave it could look like abandonment in the likely event we end up going to court over custody.",5.352051282051285,5.107049076923076,5.806538461538462,84.3051282051282,67.84615384615384,8.471794871794872,27.91025641025641,7.793537801064563,1.5294794871794872,400,11,83,4,6,129,71,104,0.14400000000000002,0.7659999999999999,0.09,-0.4272,0,0,0,0,4,0,10.0,2,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,8,0,9,1,1,0,0,20,19,11,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,2,2,6,3,10,15,1,16,0,1,2,0,6,9,1,6,6,53,9,0,0.0,0.2437438319013205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398962363096138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692895255379113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772090346539505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642501894910008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718521489447501,0.2314066192038129,0.18220631448048585,0.0,0.0,0.13587571369546106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074798879781595,0.0,0.2338301347538016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378893674769779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373725500315981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305799404309297,0.0,0.0,0.4356542506457912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010082005781818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455049435233988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15253831741620275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447131333350165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178910586293294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568323087304938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21116799257333568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428776670679715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995662782326935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chucknorrisdeluxe,2018/04/02,Compulsive spending disorder I am addicted to buying guns and ammo. I spend most of my income on ammo that I don’t need and I have thousands of rounds. I keep telling myself that my next gun will be my last for a while but I always fall weak. My fiance argues with me about spending all my money and I agree but I struggle with this. I feel pretty shitty sometimes after blowing so much money but I get a rush from getting new packages. ,1.6517241379310337,4.182594229885062,3.2650689655172407,87.14932758620691,83.71264367816093,4.859310344827586,22.49310344827586,6.2581,0.6679158620689654,346,12,63,3,10,114,63,87,0.202,0.716,0.08199999999999999,-0.8779,1,0,0,2,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,13,10,8,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,6,2,1,3,0,1,0,2,17,0,10,8,3,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,5,49,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30211588116108545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305968603208121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176184327170343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012677393845194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895811131094931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463285478008696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22590038703331974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372464556432526,0.2054906112211859,0.0,0.2676567825721459,0.2947340941821106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819438965857647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740916276216848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897195882225726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422264609750248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,butterfly90210,2018/04/02,"Do I possibly have another mental disorder? I have been diagnosed with ASD, PTSD, and MDD. However sometimes I question if they may have missed something. 

I remember being a kid and being really empathetic and loving and caring. However, I started getting abused and bullied, (reason why I have PTSD) but I managed to be that same good kid. Of course as this continued, I became more and more angry. Even though I'm no longer abused or bullied, I'm completely consumed by rage and hatred. Except it's all internalised. 

I have this tendency to put on this loving and kind personality. Most people love me. But it's all fake. Deep down, I want to hurt people. I've thought about hurting family members that have ill treated me, even though they're trying to reconcile with me. I've thought about shooting up schools that I was bullied at, even though none of those kids can hurt me again. I've even thought about killing myself and I love self harming myself. It makes me feel good. Shit, sometimes I want to hurt people if they're just being a little bit annoying. I'm totally fake. I put on this front but deep down I'm pretty evil. 

So what do you guys think? Did they miss something? Are these strange symptoms of disorders that I'm diagnosed with? Am I just a bad person? Cause I'm honestly not for sure. ",3.014875930521093,5.659907112903228,3.9267741935483897,83.89862282878416,78.67741935483872,7.202481389578162,26.87717121588089,8.263242389622931,2.128298511166253,1036,43,188,21,26,332,137,248,0.328,0.528,0.14400000000000002,-0.9967,2,0,2,1,2,1,36.0,0,1,2,0,14,26,5,0,3,0,19,9,1,3,4,42,42,20,1,4,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,7,14,12,0,0,9,0,0,3,3,15,0,0,6,1,25,11,24,31,9,15,0,6,0,4,15,9,1,6,3,121,39,2,0.0,0.2144876970250092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491143119059113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557509878565681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988174391642553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228467636141802,0.09298242928216803,0.0,0.0,0.09490181706812308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837388546410843,0.0,0.0,0.20747291928784745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391335910725137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532819315518482,0.0,0.04576641004538224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047289634919406784,0.0,0.0,0.1518370738791374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962272244493734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875868441185189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013991888753544,0.09425601515222802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071843423424426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32676833333419397,0.0,0.06041854966969019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912164481875328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882522591843445,0.15806601773214235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020405158667891,0.0,0.09208490011055702,0.0,0.0,0.2116111753053948,0.18198239273472225,0.1013959785948208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798534795532706,0.0930630848074645,0.0,0.0,0.1025342961671004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160462402484644,0.0,0.0,0.09442545449570204,0.0,0.09291093862589683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936362615984949,0.17904058542373982,0.0,0.0640660119071757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530802338855452,0.09407831674336828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057997478166933875,0.2667875404150012,0.21557313094822791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145281207348768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067745660727513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167447095130012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,user14378,2018/04/02,Mental health professionals keep changing how they talk to me and I am not sure why I have spoken to three separate psychiatrists and once we get to questions on how I reacted emotionally to things that have happened in my life the psychiatrists have clammed up and become almost antagonistic. The best way I can describe how I react to anything in life is like you put a normal person’s emotions on extremely low volume or mute and after I say that I keep getting asked whether I would rather be alone or with others or some variation of that and if I have ever had any urge to be violent towards others.   When I ask why I am always given some passing answer that I can tell is an attempt for them to regain the questioning role with no real response and then they pass me off to another psychiatrist for consultation. I have no idea what any of this means but I’m he run around is frustrating. ,6.13184460887949,6.954501180232555,6.836088794926004,73.9013002114165,66.26744186046511,9.74291754756871,31.91543340380549,9.800150414767053,3.0857953488372094,721,28,129,15,11,238,114,172,0.103,0.872,0.025,-0.8344,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,1,3,2,7,6,2,0,5,0,16,3,0,5,2,38,26,17,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,10,0,2,5,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,2,1,21,3,23,21,3,18,0,1,0,0,16,9,0,9,5,100,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186449679065075,0.14672993477443436,0.0,0.0,0.11788282975256174,0.0,0.0,0.19268425192168945,0.14855591925752845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165843572598262,0.12611851916719366,0.26488923771429923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564660933181967,0.0,0.0,0.14867649856574294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987066981220334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318724881292248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815084432748156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803601839483835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528048200240485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059119226976764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993095461735152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518499707516176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001348861248949,0.06921400421526247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432283364402294,0.0,0.0,0.14277251055981313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880892369210046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508765383889671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237029210971534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424199451123188,0.3174111404752164,0.0,0.0,0.16125426716853902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266362066717928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335246100027809,0.0,0.0,0.11387095098700585,0.1238279680866378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412088239610594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245299860771137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556747055616099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064004558490816,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bbblsmarie,2018/04/02,"I need help finding motivation, 23(F) I was recently dumped by my boyfriend (out of no where) and it has sent me into a spiraling rage of depression. I have everything going for me, I have a job that I love, I will be graduating from college in a year, I was recently appointed the President of the National Honor Society and Vice President of the National Society of Leadership and Success and I do have friends who love me. I know I should be happy and have all the motivation in the world to perform daily tasks but I just can't do it. I wait until last moment to complete everything and only because I do not want my GPA to drop. This breakup was rough for me because I found myself questioning why I was not good enough for him and I know that it's him who is not good enough for me but I feel like I can't bring myself to believe it. I started smoking cigarettes again, quit working out and quit cooking healthy meals. I know I need to quit smoking, work out and eat healthy but I have no motivation to do so. 

With this breakup comes the fact that I have to move out of our apartment and try to find a place that I can afford. I am a full-time employee and full-time student, so I can not afford to live alone. I do not know of anyone looking for a roommate (as if that ever works out) and I do not have any friends that can house myself and my two dogs (another difficulty). This has brought an extreme amount of stress into my life and another thing that makes me feel like giving up (not suicidal idealization). I know life is not a cup of tea all the time but dang, when is it my turn to catch a break. It's like no matter how hard I try to make my life great, something has to set me back. I know I should look at it differently but I have a whole lot of anger pent up inside me that is making me a bit pessimistic. 

A long post, I know and I am not sure what I am looking for other than some words of wisdom/motivation. Thank you in advance for anyone's help. Located in the US.",4.104848567779602,4.722723199507389,5.300552818828682,83.84285075716112,70.69950738916256,8.871957671957672,29.569056741470533,9.049649993220411,2.232148257617223,1553,59,332,29,27,517,187,406,0.119,0.7390000000000001,0.142,0.8691,5,1,2,0,0,0,40.0,2,1,0,14,9,21,3,1,20,0,38,9,0,7,5,76,69,27,1,7,16,0,4,3,2,3,3,0,0,0,23,24,4,1,16,1,0,8,14,5,0,1,7,7,59,16,50,57,9,45,0,1,3,2,16,20,1,4,16,240,82,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925680922048578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060779736683351765,0.18744011646360134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249895942657614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872574866751548,0.0,0.1089673382953731,0.0,0.0,0.10069778925363927,0.0,0.0,0.09757703615483483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769907665016853,0.09371056479032318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698067406493464,0.0,0.0,0.093380421140437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145545318212604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470161352218012,0.0,0.0,0.08084702819552808,0.0,0.0,0.16065339326809866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038385704879974,0.12770254846312307,0.0,0.0,0.16337875577259892,0.0,0.0,0.0979977700332916,0.13810560549823078,0.0,0.0,0.08573900238326009,0.05079526938635748,0.1499311434586149,0.0,0.09853896355834343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514396657118376,0.080064647319997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981565291201048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312958709515192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886933364219164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438365964953727,0.07285455775159794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938982649346106,0.13099593482233654,0.0,0.0789219333520346,0.07909623825354663,0.22516366462861065,0.0,0.0,0.07598551907317283,0.161333291702723,0.0,0.17898044278629446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499409377263013,0.0,0.1325445060031426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797558471381683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093380421140437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559889905927635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012320854475816,0.2851917865031926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649891544085194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880713416315436,0.0,0.0,0.06326182517006408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023815767700319,0.0,0.0,0.09776443308217404,0.0,0.08423719692478647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228675557322188,0.0,0.0,0.059378412001879786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052116714822728206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136285490142545,0.0972170094962244,0.08730878993014618,0.0,0.10751007785414676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271714073049148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064925454802517,0.09978674059454673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520356286846546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755615293757665
mentalhealth,HiddenName14,2018/04/02,"I am obsessed with my father and it is destroying me For start I must say that I created this new account so I am not identified for obvious reasons

Hello, I am a 14 years old male. In the last months I have been having a trouble that is destryoing my life, I have grown sexually obsessed with my dad and I have no idea on how to make it go away and I am constatly scared someone will find out, specially him

I will tell a bit about us, I am my father's eldest son, and I have twin younger brothers. Dad was a teen when I was born, and I basically made his life into hell, he stayd with my mom until I was about 1 but then she left, and until i was five we lived with my grandparents. He was a bit overprotective of me but not exgerated, he then started to date, and had my brothers, and for a while we lived together and it was nice for a couple of years, until my stepmom got into car crash and she passed, and dad got depressed, we moved back with my grandparents for a year. After we moved back on our own, dad always tried to be protective of us, and he always does his best to give us the best he can. We never had much money, but we do as we can. No need to say it was never the ideal situation.

I always admired my dad, but alwasy felt guilty too. Everytime he ogot me a gift, or new things I felt like I didn't need or want, I always felt like he was neglecting himself. I never really felt depressed or anything about that more like slightly upset.

And then, a few months back, I started to dream about my dad sexually, at first I would just shrug it off as silly thoughts. I am not gay, I think, I have always liked girls, I even have a girlfriend, sorta we never kissed but I love her, but the thoughts I have about dad just sicken me.

At first, as I said, i would just shrug it off, but then it started to get worse, I would think about him when I had some privacy, even when I am watching straight porn i migh sometimes just close my eyes and start thinking about him without even noticing, I even have some pictures of him i stole from his phone, I will sometimes stop doing whater I am doing like studying or playing a game just to think about him, he never had a real girlfriend since my stepmother but he still dates women from time to time and I get really really jealous. In any case the amount of disgusting thins I do is not worth saying whole.

It all is killing me from inside, I feel sick with myself for having those thoughts with the best father in the world, I am a disgusting person and it makes me feel the worst son of all. Not only I feel like that, I am getting paranoid that someone will find out and I know it is just a matter of time it I will do something without noticing and destroy my relationship with him and everyone. I share a bedroom with my brothers, which sucks, but makes it worse that I feel scared of sleeping and talking while sleeping and they hear something bad, in our family we never had a problem with being naked around each other and I always feel scared that I will stare him too or get hard and create a mess, or even getting too red when he comes home late with a woman to his room. He works a lot so I take care of my brothers when we are alone, and lately I have been dead scared I might slip up something to them, they are six so that is manageable, the problem is also with my friends, from which I have started to avoid and talk much less, also for feeling of slipping up.

It is also starting to destroy my relationship with him, once we had an open relationship I would tell eveyrthing to him, like when I liked a girl and would ask him advice, but now things have changed. He is a bit scared of me having a girlfriend, due to his experiences with my mother and having me while young (he will be 30 this year), so he always tries to talk to me about safe sex, and I can't handle to talk to him about that, I think he thinks its just because I am 14 but it is not. I just don't know what to do anymore, I can't sleep, my grades are bad, I am losing my friends, I don't have anyone really to talk and I have no idea of what to do.

I don't know how long I can handle without going crazy.",4.824193115262633,4.826359811097994,5.3897742898812435,86.00094358404522,68.95277449822905,8.201578813343518,27.94196356228442,7.724431198458867,1.4425869805773548,3228,96,695,33,51,1041,312,847,0.162,0.723,0.115,-0.9929,2,2,3,0,0,0,83.0,16,0,3,8,47,54,9,10,33,0,91,12,4,7,10,162,145,74,2,12,34,18,12,8,5,14,3,5,3,6,34,63,0,5,27,3,3,8,24,30,0,4,28,21,137,24,97,100,21,92,1,4,4,5,105,25,2,11,67,517,171,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04683470281342336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049638970535428976,0.0,0.11498405191604055,0.2791596428636845,0.0,0.0,0.03259269459393375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04753171351026783,0.033512383366737244,0.0,0.03944067366900216,0.04266609582111697,0.044806225417689416,0.0,0.04502994899140028,0.11056105830448572,0.08003578328292675,0.029216473874160126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508924884951605,0.0,0.1569749415999139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886580683503696,0.0,0.05070148619891012,0.04128574219094353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053031438411350516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256066038933058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194213003017873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828001367412795,0.0,0.0,0.04579727346811963,0.0,0.04688279658974416,0.045182268267098855,0.0,0.14540307064970542,0.03423978440881974,0.18407364699202014,0.0,0.08761067718629602,0.08153509233202466,0.0,0.0,0.07405813297883324,0.0,0.12520205175890173,0.045976920466514436,0.05447719231003567,0.0,0.07666482585774696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429340885674889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401835765270759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807570814311733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820979312991512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302524889040404,0.0,0.07901995296915823,0.039067730137507306,0.10812977992862899,0.0,0.052073929926618884,0.0,0.06770595060058622,0.18732166254484536,0.0,0.08464263291914632,0.042414786203458434,0.0,0.053619190708550216,0.0,0.0407466855214562,0.043256905929811136,0.04535064785762822,0.09597696910751136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084405127431848,0.0,0.05613271341035913,0.07651137067378162,0.1018797926910696,0.07046521327201126,0.0710760335598416,0.22179024495412197,0.09257835356837807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913272840517696,0.05029239072854248,0.05104177313982131,0.0,0.03645141610210948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041848895148272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172127752508816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455257530780265,0.12281565799073595,0.04927798313843864,0.0,0.1543702587846713,0.0,0.0,0.0455905188901254,0.11434284671311548,0.2399215270450426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039646550343490385,0.053873098406899834,0.14388788796855526,0.0,0.08121850532805287,0.11069198545628732,0.09480406723955456,0.0,0.2374658762632069,0.0,0.038275375714493784,0.040069967686829806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036035903529356615,0.1926136200351572,0.08378239748779101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368248871930829,0.18426202551279885,0.0,0.11414847395124322,0.08384163516399007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507995395665349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295450710121493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028269185775610082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350991857148007,0.0,0.13860269214377288,0.0,0.034892166673712706,0.0,0.09768548639407558,0.17023343822626402,0.0,0.0,0.12345628441723808
mentalhealth,jkw118,2018/04/02,"[PA] What the hell do I need to do? [PA] What the hell do I need to do?
Ok so basically almost 2 years ago my SO wanted a divorce, moved out tons of bad stuff happened. She's BiPolar 2 and probably a bunch of other things. She basically forced herself back into the house, I have 3 kids. She was on the deed and the mother of the children. In any case she was supposed to just stay till she got back on her feet. Now she's like you have to take me back, she is doing better with the kids, etc.. But It's not happening. There were hundreds of things she did even before the divorce: any perspetives/ideas by me were basically ignored. There were points where I was made fun of, points where she undermined me with the children. I eneded up not speaking with my family for almost 12 years because whenever I tried to she'd start attacking them, or making me feel like crap for her having so many made up issues. And the list goes on.  In any case I'm working on getting the divorce/seperation done. At the moment we were working on co-parenting, with my pespective that once she got herself together it would continue with her moved out of the house.
So in the past three months she's been living in the basement, dr's keep changing her meds since I'm sure they aren't right. She doesn't want anyone to go to a Dr. appt with her. In the past few weeks there's been a few dozen instances where she talks to people who aren't there, yesterday she told me she couldn't always tell between halucinations and reality.  She's had halucinations in the past, and basically blacking out and waking up while driving (totaled a car) So she continues to not allow anyone to talk to her Psychiatrist except her. I'm really starting to wonder about safety, her perspective is it's some medicine that's off. 
She had me go check the basement to make sure that the Grim reaper wasn't there a day ago, and her mom came over and stayed the night next to her. I have 3 kids they do not need to be around this. 
I and my parents think maybe if she went into Qa place that could keep her for a month or two. Watch her meds, food etc.. (she throws up or barely eats) but where would that be? Any ideas? I live in PA I just want her out of the house and healthy/safe for the kids sake. Most places around here are basically a padded room with no door, and the ones with doors aren't much better. She has stayed at one for almost a week before at the end they basically sent her home with a big bill and said good luck find a psychiatrist. ",4.401228991596638,5.197646001984129,4.800700280112046,87.0462605042017,70.1309523809524,7.992903828197948,25.53781512605042,8.124751697461798,1.2598631652661068,1971,54,421,26,34,624,236,504,0.054000000000000006,0.8909999999999999,0.056,0.6228,2,0,0,0,3,0,59.0,1,1,4,4,25,17,4,0,35,1,39,8,3,5,3,76,72,25,1,11,13,6,1,2,0,2,3,2,4,6,16,31,2,3,5,0,2,10,11,7,0,5,23,5,64,10,70,42,10,80,2,1,2,0,66,40,3,11,29,284,80,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316962456631481,0.0,0.22315354104541368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181008751977715,0.0,0.0,0.20206217478764915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388194578211886,0.0,0.0,0.13225669461704662,0.0,0.08450856719655467,0.0,0.1713590128567223,0.062023885384698975,0.04528272611539546,0.0,0.1264201161035973,0.0,0.0,0.13139600122755007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496089861988215,0.0,0.0,0.0785824300043035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930958432717023,0.0,0.0,0.04790691741124888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760181368398766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601089102460773,0.0,0.0,0.06579341434619995,0.0,0.16569218673348618,0.04906376135338901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002817273650809,0.0,0.03756013047597439,0.05306837458595755,0.0,0.0,0.06789406409717562,0.0,0.08982428786480133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038810229073523966,0.0,0.08443441154248417,0.06230574235924791,0.11882311078857527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313778702690199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451272641678601,0.0,0.0,0.2571406581024222,0.0,0.16771477784796188,0.0,0.07753300669001056,0.0,0.1320537415557969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258264273294861,0.0,0.13118794487905466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057828983318807,0.09917005098334884,0.07531213237868557,0.07462807983559358,0.0,0.1650251519303817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700031011351289,0.11858527000407748,0.15790388562951088,0.05460715360455423,0.16524152991159774,0.0,0.0,0.07900168341890608,0.0697103312847892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910984205314611,0.10067327542563904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248338924696193,0.0,0.21273692966865546,0.05149904635553673,0.0,0.15522155909069282,0.0,0.14044443775817747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009051999896266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047588116103867525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343797488833783,0.0706609219597229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144834206746385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515693775949303,0.2375299993692641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503719962528672,0.0,0.0,0.14002323913736292,0.0,0.055852186573544085,0.11941303854413335,0.06492733132464464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870173613160207,0.047598071272520734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098137168164151,0.0,0.05043383646012285,0.0,0.07256449654953681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144356185785444,0.0,0.1191719965061605,0.0,0.0,0.06886184371672681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055763213465253,0.10815900877455778,0.0,0.0,0.10553818632712883,0.0,0.0,0.09567268689864893
mentalhealth,abbacax,2018/04/03,"18 years old, seeking help Hello! I am an 18 year old female currently in College. I am looking for help from a mental help professional. I have a lot of abandonment issues, as well as very bad anxiety and depression. I would love to be able to talk about my concerns with someone and work things out that have been making me depressed. 

I don’t really understand how insurance works, like at all. I do know that I have health insurance (via my mothers work), but from what I can tell, it isn’t the best. What my mother tells me, she has to pay for a lot of her appointments and procedures upfront (she is currently recovering from a nasty ankle break she got while visiting NYC). 

I would really like to see someone about my mental health, but I don’t know how to go about it. I am super concerned about being a financial burden on my mother, as she already has a lot of medical bills, and a job that does not pay enough. I also don’t know how to tell her without her feeling guilty. All that being said. I don’t know how I can seek help without her. 

So Reddit, I need advice on how to seek mental health without paying a ginormous amount of money. I am really scared that without some guidance and help, I will never get to live life to the extent that I really want to. 

Thank y’all ahead of time!!! I really appreciate it!!!  ",4.116007259528132,5.361983222222224,5.410280298447268,80.74038112522688,71.183908045977,8.866384351683806,26.763662028634805,9.276330184999452,2.2241371647509576,1035,34,201,22,19,346,134,261,0.102,0.7290000000000001,0.168,0.965,3,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,6,12,13,0,1,11,0,25,6,0,6,3,38,42,18,0,4,7,3,1,2,0,3,5,1,0,0,12,7,0,1,6,0,5,2,11,6,1,0,3,4,35,7,38,33,10,18,0,3,2,1,25,5,0,4,12,147,47,9,0.0919548783992279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898572429259567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147449491645194,0.07353628303348002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034523028383904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677848250551858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650097171482896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584012040449035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804703337601547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501397047482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04649514945360096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480426286659531,0.0,0.0522600764952855,0.0,0.07354471649386983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293231207203227,0.0,0.0,0.3081770833267778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597700242135716,0.0912510279407306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214398536156214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495045004220668,0.08984901753108783,0.0,0.0811978423179875,0.0,0.0772189384274328,0.0,0.0,0.23453024783236104,0.08299286791345355,0.0,0.06138059537281751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263486584336436,0.27800666822460823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818337717699405,0.07092127105992146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298235280897474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29454324870888715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747014681293704,0.0,0.09206287493586453,0.0,0.07327613264594422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582614012561313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390984806841328,0.2411178503887643,0.08465969750246875,0.0,0.0,0.061090735237251226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361962907613328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572827137655984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587240497328931,0.05423736974861187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267847901784729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35456488543747106,0.0,0.20083273995586176,0.0,0.0,0.1306442146009223,0.0,0.0,0.11843185365997733
mentalhealth,WalkerSmithJunior,2018/04/03,"Are people who suffer from mental illness more likely to commit a crime or a violent crime than people who don’t suffer from mental illness? im currently doing a research on this, whats your guys views?",4.876153846153844,6.648778666666665,6.121025641025642,74.33230769230771,70.02564102564102,7.2512820512820495,25.820512820512814,7.793537801064563,1.8575743589743603,164,5,25,2,3,55,30,39,0.463,0.489,0.048,-0.969,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,5,3,1,2,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,1,2,18,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422333149213385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733454650064105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885996229560885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6966382316214339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4792400330669234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StarlightBedtime,2018/04/03,"Need help diagnosing a family member if possible, CW advised We have a family member who has us very concerned. We aren't sure if he's receiving proper mental health help and he has been scaring a few of us.

So the gist is, he likes to visit us out of the blue, often. He'll show up whether it's a good day or not. Now here's where things get concerning

For the most part he'll sit in a corner quietly, and randomly bring up a seemingly obscure topic directly to his ""person of the day"".

By person of the day, I mean he'll follow this person to every single room, and will talk to this person endlessly. He'll speak and bring up topics like, ""Do you like medicine?"" ""do you like this movie?"" ""do you have allergies?"" at random, even if the conversation was about, say, vegetables.

There was a point where he was obsessed with horror movies, and subsequently serial killers. He would follow my sister around talking about serial killers and scare her.

He once had a job, and during his shift his boss had trouble finding him, he was found walking up and down a cemetery by himself.

He claims to see a doctor, and therapist, and be in rehab. He takes medicine of some sort but what we don't know.

He claims to have been heavy into drugs before, and always had some new disorder he's bringing up he has.

Any ideas on what exactly is going on with him?",4.384778867320397,5.6481864372623605,5.2875085051030615,81.80807684610768,70.55893536121674,8.578667200320194,26.389633780268163,8.99025400887824,2.0018714828897344,1055,33,204,20,19,345,153,263,0.08,0.87,0.049,-0.8439,1,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,6,3,0,0,11,10,0,3,16,0,25,6,0,1,2,45,43,18,0,5,7,1,0,4,0,6,5,3,1,4,8,19,1,0,6,1,0,9,3,4,0,0,10,5,18,6,32,26,6,34,0,0,2,0,48,19,0,13,9,131,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608616599674666,0.0,0.0,0.0785283618232114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279906745875766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826247420675092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234194548242708,0.0,0.0,0.11720678683757473,0.0,0.0,0.1323467171548522,0.11819566581702592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391673001432405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627151015306469,0.0,0.09729440495473604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772299312328253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554394233704356,0.0,0.0,0.1266146377555811,0.0,0.0,0.0603319985906377,0.0,0.06562827532571344,0.09685668056958624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274671662067425,0.0,0.0,0.1548036805913949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035954672649894,0.0,0.0,0.11459316531978067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346317311620457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256650374710812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257883734360022,0.0,0.0,0.11637371768405777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562477803514904,0.0,0.1115284657588254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297930193130413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250504046477187,0.0,0.0,0.4033204644229448,0.0,0.0,0.10916314877756908,0.13018303630287975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183199436206133,0.23122536776664285,0.0,0.0920202672976446,0.10512597994321568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883576402354944,0.0,0.0868243790897349,0.1856321759786577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340777690104395,0.07671782861554502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167140606756487,0.0,0.0,0.09528066962665584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203159142251154,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imbalancedpod,2018/04/03,"Mental Health Podcast I am starting a podcast centered around mental health. I am interested in telling people's stories- what they struggle with, how they live with it on a daily basis, and ways they find to cope. I'd love to hear your story, if you would like to share it.
",3.2432075471698134,5.592990679245286,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,76.16981132075472,4.994716981132076,25.69433962264151,5.6839178017228535,0.7522256603773578,218,8,40,1,5,68,40,53,0.041,0.7509999999999999,0.208,0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,3,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,8,6,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,4,8,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,2,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411400801216532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198311431595001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5113235385433846,0.2710837924273207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750604075405052,0.0,0.2123837796057621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707890831326115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4847756645381333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667464509969242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024146474524715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514439787532245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022529225770714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091377225071887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085867855889764,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Savassan,2018/04/03,"Constant vomiting caused by Rumination Syndrome. Hey all, i hope this is the right place to post. Was considering /r/health but that seems more of professional posts.


I made a post about 6 years ago about Rumination syndrome, and today i got a message about it. My post 6 years ago was vague and not really all that helpful because at the time i was still throwing up twice a day.


I spent 12 years of my life vomiting a couple times a week, up to twice a day. I was told it was prob acid reflux or IBS. I saw dozens of different doctors and was on all sorts of different medications. But it never helped, and i never felt like it quite fit the bill. I spent 12 years in and out of doctors offices and no one could tell me what was wrong. It was very stressful for my entire family and took a large negative effect on my health- Anxiety, teeth issues, sometimes throw up blood, damage to the throat.


Even today when i discuss Rumination syndrome with my doctors, i have only met one doctor who knew what it was- and he was the one that diagnosed me.


Rumination syndrome for me went like this- I would feel perfectly fine. Start eating, and after a few bites i just KNEW i was going to throw up. There was no nausea before hand, no stomach pains or any other symptoms. It would be like 3 bites into a cheese burger, my stomach would ""turn over"" (feel upset), my mouth would salivate excessively and then i would run to the bathroom and vomit. The vomiting wasnt painful or acidic, it was just me clearing out my stomach. After i threw up everything, I would feel perfectly fine. In fact, i would go sit down and finish my meal and feel 100% ok afterwords. No amount of antacids helped.

I suffered from age 12-24, and i was always anxious and worried about the vomiting. But after 12 years it was kind of second nature. I had given up on doctors finding the answer. (hell i event went to the mayo clinic in MN to try and fix it). And then one day i threw up like normal, but this time i threw up blood as well. Which i have had happen several times in the past- always just a tear in the stomach lining/throat. I went to a small time gastro clinic, (had to have the cut cauterized or stapled before), and instead of doing that the doctor heard my symptoms and just goes ""rumination syndrome"". I didnt even go looking for an answer to the illness. And BAM out of nowhere i had an answer. To this day that was one of the best days of my life. I sat in my car laughing and crying at the same time. 

Finding the correct diagnoses helped me tremendously. After i knew exactly what it was, i knew how to fix it. Rumination syndrome is caused by mental health issues- often found in babies or people suffering from things like severe autism. But I am neither. I have always had mental health issues- PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, OCD. And Rumination syndrome was just one more.

After i found out what it was i did research into how to stop it. Read things like ""when you feel sick chant reinforcing phrases to yourself in your mind"". And ""do deep breathing"". I spent a solid 2 years practicing deep breathing, which helped quite a bit. I would take a few bites, wait untill i started to feel the nausea, and then id stop. Sit up straight and take deep breaths. In threw the nose out threw the mouth. And sip on water. This helped quite a bit, but i would still throw up a couple times a week. When i was doing my deep breathing id change my thoughts to ""im not going to throw up"" or ""im not sick"". But that never did much. I was skeptical because ""how can simply changing what you say to yourself help"", but I was talking to my psych about it once, and he said ""dont use words like vomit, sick, or throw up"" Anything that is a negative stimulus. Was told to change my mindset to ""I am healthy"". I did as i was told. I continued practicing deep breathing, but added a chant of ""i am healthy"" when i started to feel sick. It took a while, but after a couple months. I noticed a SERIOUS drop in vomiting. I was put on an anti-anxiety medication as well because a lot of my vomiting was caused by anxiety/stress. 

And i am 29 now. Every year since i was like 26 i have had less and less vomiting, in fact the last time i threw up was like 5 months ago.

I hope this post is ok, i just wanted to make one in case i can help someone who has rumination syndrome and doesnt know it. Its easy to think its acid reflux, but they feel totally different. And  as i have said, i have seen 50+ doctors and run a ton of different tests and i was never given an accurate diagnoses. It seems most doctors dont even know about the illness. Im hoping if someone googles their illness/symptoms they can see this and learn about the illness or ways to combat it. Because i know the day i learned the exact cause of my vomiting was one of the happiest days of my life.",3.4003469583048522,5.097657688421054,4.375372522214629,85.66806220095694,73.69473684210527,7.292959671907041,26.54818865345181,8.00094639256281,1.5900150375939854,3764,135,750,56,77,1220,345,950,0.138,0.779,0.083,-0.9943,4,0,0,0,0,0,141.0,0,3,3,7,31,36,3,2,55,2,77,64,18,11,16,152,147,70,0,16,29,0,10,9,0,9,43,4,0,0,47,42,3,3,30,1,4,25,19,13,2,12,77,23,92,23,110,59,20,150,1,4,4,0,31,51,1,18,74,505,139,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074985595969179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090637502196877,0.0,0.0,0.02748925836789075,0.0,0.09277123671885584,0.04566686980252186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03326496572924228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856677503123666,0.0,0.06879457252447528,0.0,0.04242180293974501,0.0,0.08826363864021111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610362720306002,0.12828760596099614,0.0,0.0,0.04368327146255288,0.0,0.03227474887816443,0.1341829753820198,0.044403142459356865,0.182487977712346,0.0,0.03481656476614861,0.12308652203016103,0.0,0.16893515262201114,0.0,0.33100002293935304,0.0,0.0,0.09475171026634807,0.0,0.0,0.04136317001130778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009770737712263,0.0,0.03405840862403404,0.0,0.03632989279167758,0.0,0.038107528742738615,0.0,0.16351404821939713,0.0,0.03881274702756052,0.0,0.07389240352677726,0.0,0.0,0.08864421489539555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189406603077048,0.0,0.03233023890766622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035746227352483874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187248676305045,0.0,0.0,0.2167593095425794,0.0,0.0,0.12044849713843217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099243636938301,0.12657439850962413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042094689618671285,0.0666468339132679,0.032950418520991384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565660459919011,0.17773922497730738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033945425947265184,0.0,0.0,0.034366479356480656,0.0,0.038249543084467916,0.02698289431659433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144452753843202,0.08147444103955505,0.0,0.04081605147476231,0.0,0.06453105098356933,0.0,0.02971580714199938,0.0,0.1247078918140223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039606291942236964,0.0,0.04602224217572249,0.0,0.043049539379200766,0.21913521869795294,0.030743772725464687,0.08602657074074464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03858865341950135,0.02802445519464662,0.0,0.042233788155502786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357193537266298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725272296912008,0.04063662316860737,0.0,0.12898559834883233,0.04043428058976925,0.0,0.02589622763775889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0345213127370116,0.07690370916003489,0.03214626360270297,0.0,0.0,0.03221216951554478,0.07359978374036523,0.0,0.09133373960504372,0.0,0.03343860577856738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850113207983431,0.0,0.03997971832559154,0.0,0.08583554742845223,0.0,0.06456426541300099,0.06759144699507673,0.0926096021312426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260459887922237,0.06078664406122738,0.03249075065617103,0.03533178216648388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371094374753471,0.025901644984246252,0.0,0.03209161778777055,0.1885694038473945,0.0,0.07663320225266718,0.11587870520632608,0.08982363945821527,0.02744479539316544,0.043968987653205935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0349127881782944,0.0,0.03335349017886429,0.02384273412546516,0.0320861668988681,0.06485033244085342,0.0,0.0726908772404412,0.1124185275512014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105186544779213,0.0,0.25844023773440383,0.044196578123489226,0.0,0.18221914598017305
mentalhealth,fluffball11,2018/04/03,"Do I have any mental disorders Recently I have been feeling like there is something wrong not with me but with everything else and I have a strange feeling like I have lost control of my life, I also get extremely frequent deja-vu and lucid dreams are extremely common.",4.105599999999999,6.876618360000003,4.829999999999998,78.245,75.4,8.0,32.0,8.841846274778883,3.2964,218,11,35,5,5,70,38,50,0.134,0.6509999999999999,0.215,0.5187,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,9,12,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,7,2,3,10,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068963612733376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593683132253665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29017377361464314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965127695466865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612534646316395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325186854630177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616307716948474,0.3696557924471671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516926130827644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273988325844695,0.2527926898712419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824208087060188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607264772013205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554524057606973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991734386760831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282867067793589,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TurdFerguson78,2018/04/03,"Inpatient Programs Hi,

Just wondering if anyone has tried an inpatient mental health program, whether voluntary or involuntary? 

I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life, but over the past year or so it has gotten a lot worse. I've tried psychiatrists and therapists with little relief. I was on Zoloft (300mg) and Wellbutrin (200mg) most recently and while I was feeling great for about a year, it's like the meds just stopped working and back down into a slump I went. I stopped the Wellbutrin when that happened and got hollered at by my psychiatrist. She then wanted to put me on Lithium but after reading things online about it turning you into a zombie, I stopped seeing her.

The therapist I most recently saw was extremely nice and seemed knowledgeable, however, while opening up about my feelings helped, when I left her office it was back to the real world and everything we had discussed went right out the window.

So I've now been thinking about trying a 5-10 day inpatient program with group therapy, medical evals, etc and was hoping for some first hand experience. I feel like this is my last choice. 

I haven't tried killing myself, but I do think about it alot. Just sick of the same shit everyday. Seems like there's no point continuing, blah, blah. For what, so I can work another 30 or so years until my health deteriorates so bad that I sit in front of a tv all day watching Jeopardy, eating Jello, and shitting myself?! Plus, I have no kids of my own so it's not like I need to be around to watch them grow up.

Anyway, thanks for any feedback!",6.345149359886204,7.249650513513515,6.272275960170699,77.84128733997156,65.82432432432432,9.609957325746803,32.80867709815078,9.682069395223575,3.080002702702703,1256,51,228,25,19,396,184,296,0.15,0.715,0.135,0.2456,1,0,0,0,0,2,39.0,1,1,1,3,22,15,3,1,15,0,15,10,3,0,1,56,35,31,1,4,12,0,4,6,0,0,6,0,1,1,11,20,1,3,9,2,0,5,4,6,0,1,12,8,29,9,36,22,10,49,0,1,4,0,11,18,2,14,29,156,40,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038847967947866,0.10853637699644064,0.07918276323589707,0.0,0.0,0.07237467613553886,0.0,0.0,0.092143397657779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918137285597736,0.08642423057420343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350722711965066,0.0,0.08915064308951544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591375776148874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543794508987194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930256424637348,0.10124995236474084,0.0,0.0,0.1570091275249378,0.07394560035973555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880432143043079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278420370347613,0.11411710896673224,0.0,0.0,0.09153111968118176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22004673389285592,0.0,0.0,0.06937872809665023,0.0,0.0,0.10280605463884698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145154366805923,0.0,0.0,0.08437222399583716,0.0,0.0,0.11246093040593903,0.0,0.07311023202291718,0.20227365674788506,0.10374145722028508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799816282655397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497322114306527,0.10427266525203706,0.10431096322715447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674931462794755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880938258595257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784780811773716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405337553548648,0.0,0.0,0.10353526092110768,0.11781391156382587,0.0,0.0,0.20440184510311246,0.0,0.0,0.08839462627832671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248187743126881,0.18845822658766134,0.0,0.0,0.2124974101706134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259610088219592,0.0,0.10820825194022853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529556952066326,0.11836956156631258,0.24035979104486066,0.0687656178632122,0.13264653321955588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810985144794943,0.1125861655682203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105125805990555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190451621101853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224919772334348,0.1507090220974076,0.0,0.10548273101833604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996582689631526
mentalhealth,1geek0,2018/04/03,"Am I even depressed if I have hopes of getting out? My psychiatrist has never explicitly told me that I'm really depressed an d not just sad. But he has mentioned it many times. Today was probably one of the worst days in my life. I spent 6 hours alternately crying uncontrollably and staring into nothingness. I needed to put all my feelings somewhere in words. I wrote a blog for the first time in my life https://medium.com/@1geek0/hope-bb5d24ac6bf7. I'm sorry if this violates the content policy and of course, delete it if it does.",5.863125,8.31541572916667,5.806666666666668,74.80500000000002,68.79166666666666,8.966666666666667,28.66666666666667,9.516144504307137,2.8561916666666662,434,16,72,10,8,136,72,96,0.202,0.746,0.052000000000000005,-0.9387,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,1,5,0,5,2,0,0,3,18,14,6,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,6,0,2,4,2,10,1,10,10,2,13,0,3,1,0,4,5,0,4,7,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22613540980459165,0.13276728801076926,0.0,0.3546261685684829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18015574008327034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597331839529928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409262232044256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511050215218513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755709487495832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089450843961891,0.20273768500349895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29082012834620874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087169893314467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264789149887215,0.15877744602785415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950091631532174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195961899100933,0.0,0.0,0.2069533579007167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318837749967307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304514323742904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24008559447492614,0.0,0.19513799740533108,0.19671489477306964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mister_nouniverse,2018/04/03,"Fighting sadness Hey,

I'm a 23yo who probably can't live with 'everything's ok'. Work's fine, my relationship is fine, everything seems to be working out for me, I can't really complain on anything but for over 2 weeks I feel like there's something wrong and it hit me last night that I always lived with lots of problems, feeling unaccepted (gay) and like I didn't belong. Right now I have a supportive boyfriend that I started pushing away asking for space and some time alone, 2 jobs where I don't really have problems and friends that support me. 

I don't normally fight the sadness, in the past I just accepted it and I'd spend 2-3 weeks, sometimes even a month dealing with it my own way - by being alone with my thoughts and I'd just pass and I would go back to my normal life. Right now I can't really do that as my British boyfriend wants to spend every minute with me and thinks that if I'm quiet there's something wrong (I told him it's just a difference in our cultures and generations). 

Do you guys know any good movies/youtube channels/books that'd help me get over it? I feel like most of the books focus very depressed people, who are having midlife crisis, not many of them acknowledge the fact that 20-year olds have sometimes similar problems. I have few days off coming up and I could use a good read/watch to help me deal with this difficult time. 

Thanks in advance!",4.783990746096009,5.89632908791209,4.7961017929438965,86.26863504916138,69.47619047619048,8.091690765374976,30.11933680354733,8.371475516178862,2.033260805860806,1103,43,223,16,19,342,156,273,0.154,0.6759999999999999,0.17,0.2452,1,2,2,0,4,0,29.0,1,1,1,3,11,25,2,0,9,1,20,2,0,1,1,47,41,13,0,9,6,0,3,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,15,18,0,0,10,1,2,5,7,12,0,0,3,4,30,13,28,32,5,34,0,3,0,1,20,14,0,5,17,129,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024795095238888,0.0,0.0,0.08445660200846687,0.0,0.0,0.0690238655282011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352631746433015,0.0,0.09488932770328486,0.0,0.0953631230141574,0.07804767004939807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743375019229188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103994282817803,0.0,0.0,0.06545946818081655,0.20928525348011834,0.08742228882317211,0.0,0.0,0.10604648824564253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704016661254056,0.0,0.08551860459486925,0.0,0.1824443279732705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539652078625738,0.1450240493579102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841908556023534,0.0,0.05302985648857502,0.0,0.05768511077727397,0.17026771831032828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050151830248127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606737978905248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007236500271106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578205664123597,0.08273650844460262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169285154139578,0.14876414876595898,0.0,0.1792537188272688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629215157547486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290564284802928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101678346270254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525140541685884,0.19889800826964985,0.0,0.0,0.106507769854192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689377533928688,0.07036771239764836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943477745504306,0.29136700132542137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152803356156648,0.0,0.1950715850789436,0.0,0.0,0.10897362242938476,0.0,0.17336185766289886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240230325263317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628018925456627,0.20077331040580765,0.0,0.07184262308268809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303632790731502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344808420326316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503746432243229,0.0,0.08058011173385703,0.1183715926390624,0.0,0.0,0.09698814058810884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766389999258704,0.0,0.08374859700439242,0.059867663655235735,0.0805664248814299,0.1628352633581822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477872419252002,0.0,0.0,0.07210308994040618,0.22194987033667496,0.0,0.0653630367202964
mentalhealth,superconfusius,2018/04/03,"Changes over time...depression or? After being consumed by my own thoughts with no real answers...I've turned to you guys.

I've slowly become a very different person than I was in the past, and I'm really struggling with it.  It's also affecting my marriage as my wife feels like I'm different than the guy she married (and she's right)

I've always been more introverted than not.  Not to an extreme degree, but given the option I'm more likely to want to stay home and play some video games than go to a bar.  That being said, I used to enjoy going out for drinks, happy hour, maybe a weekend trip, vacation etc.  Slowly over time though, I find myself way less interested in anything that's terribly social.

I'd say starting about 5 years ago until now (with the last 2 being the most significant), I've progressively become more uptight and less ""fun"".  I would choose staying home and watching a movie, or playing on my computer over dinner, drinks, any activity etc. I would take being at home, ordering food, hanging with my dog and playing some online game or binge watching TV over anything else.  I've also become really sensitive to changes in plans.  If we are supposed to do one thing and someone wants to change it or do something else, I get all worked up.  A great example would be if we are going out to dinner with my wife and friends.  If the plan was ""Have one drink and then dinner"" and it turns into ""Have one drink, dinner and then another bar or place after"" I'll immediately be annoyed.  One, because I don't like the idea of being out longer than we agreed and I want to get home and just relax.  And two because I would feel like it's infuriating that we can never stick to a plan.  We also have to extend whatever we are doing.  The feeling I get when things don't go ""my way"" is more than just minor annoyance, it's a true frustration/anger and I get a tight feeling in my chest.  I feel very out of control and anxious.

Some other odd things that I've noticed have changed in me:

I don't like loud, busy places. (I would hate hate hate a concert)
I prefer peace and quiet, even at home.  If my wife plays music or the TV loud it annoys me.
If my wife is tired, I love that because it means a lazy, low key night.
If my wife takes sleeping pills, I like that because it means she'll be relaxed and chill.
I have tons of anxiety about my dog.  I'm always worried about him, if he's happy, or stressed, or home alone too long or feeling neglected etc.  If we go to my in-laws lake house I'm always super concerned and stressed about him and whether or not he's feeling okay or if the sun is too hot, does he have enough water (especially on the boat).  I feel like it's a bit much but can't help it.

My big dilema is:  Is this the new me?  Am I being true to myself?  Or is there something like anxiety/depression that's got it's hold on me that is influencing my behavior?  I feel like the care free version of myself is gone and I'm so damn uptight.  I act like I'm 70, not in my mid 30s.  My wife is becoming increasingly affected by this too, as I'm pretty much a ""deadbeat"" when it comes to our life and just want to be home all the time.

Anyone have any thoughts or word of wisdom?",3.773711180124224,4.810895159937888,4.894844720496895,84.90450310559007,71.77950310559007,7.649689440993789,26.577639751552795,7.967736418589885,1.483827950310559,2489,81,513,33,46,820,284,644,0.124,0.695,0.181,0.9915,2,1,6,0,0,0,92.0,8,1,0,7,20,46,7,5,27,1,47,18,2,5,5,120,97,59,0,19,32,6,11,10,1,6,3,6,7,3,27,40,12,6,17,19,1,11,10,15,0,5,9,19,60,32,66,72,23,64,0,2,2,1,35,27,1,27,31,322,87,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04770054353601689,0.0,0.0,0.05573236330564299,0.0,0.12909882873509326,0.13432614221563213,0.0,0.0,0.0731871703472379,0.05642592614787222,0.04116556010230287,0.06079154509614279,0.0,0.03762616961808123,0.0,0.088564365063585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121167654372246,0.2377217756207646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874809234735129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486429050356447,0.0,0.2277012289734653,0.046353740988373485,0.0,0.0,0.06035404082304675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269532929350097,0.0,0.0,0.11244288248083104,0.0,0.0,0.047090703200342664,0.0,0.0,0.2108586734339335,0.0,0.0,0.0899050098211541,0.0,0.0,0.05560154251194778,0.18004174668139666,0.03554191044237138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448778652678225,0.15377144881094912,0.0,0.0,0.04918262846441465,0.0,0.06506893696644876,0.0,0.041574540410422765,0.0,0.11245690488699782,0.0,0.1529112429682286,0.0,0.043037878116531765,0.059327238857223775,0.0,0.10656345720241556,0.0,0.11456643396193693,0.0,0.15938279798206467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03606863520000556,0.0,0.3778404270787892,0.0,0.05299337199920221,0.06209111021568975,0.0,0.06074650057096296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043863458610535394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03800857064644984,0.2628952322982577,0.0,0.0,0.047621379910269136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856687338101789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406076617115284,0.11723274114756245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911511508246087,0.0,0.04150265532671989,0.05197136825821692,0.0,0.05049833692093968,0.0,0.0,0.06126461530535069,0.0,0.0,0.14585594093964002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136905320411286,0.0,0.04698602334386828,0.11244288248083104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474552124852558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124913376563505,0.06894589872563864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045954626386812206,0.05118694716409857,0.04279297096400273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053850244146525984,0.05485392753578451,0.045594209521867816,0.08285326202282466,0.0,0.0,0.038087973293793966,0.11471154720693907,0.0,0.0,0.12328151302339485,0.05625534038942463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091892502531928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724967377130144,0.0,0.052869409805864194,0.08544045336979487,0.09413354911870324,0.061848267876112285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706266303384805,0.05256590131937077,0.0,0.0,0.04647575684847265,0.0,0.08880005181393945,0.12695738972882395,0.08542594096901239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03917532713923758,0.054648070700751776,0.0,0.19113030998947347,0.0,0.0,0.03465276586767375
mentalhealth,inkblottings,2018/04/03,"How Do You Creatively Deal With Your Mental Illness? Do you have any creative coping strategies that you use to deal with your mental illness or 'low periods'? Do you draw, look after plants, knit?

I'm looking to collect a range of methods to base an article around so please feel free to share this thread!!",4.432105263157894,6.773709052631581,4.175298245614034,85.4324210526316,72.50877192982456,6.665263157894738,28.94385964912281,7.554174236665415,1.8580975438596496,244,10,43,3,5,74,44,57,0.107,0.674,0.219,0.8307,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,6,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,7,9,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,3,9,9,0,4,0,1,2,0,9,2,0,1,2,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799736557384632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330108863381188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5397006309027356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234746745370635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4396041763682477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5275600990233343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28732029876694737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260659140892988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Prelude_in_B,2018/04/03,"23 years old, feeling ""depressed"" for a long time, need advices. (long story) Hi guys, first, sorry for my bad english, i may make a lot of grammar mistakes. This is my first time talking about this online, i have some friends irl but i can't imagine myself talking about my issues with them, i don't want to annoy people with my problems..

I don't really know where to start. It all began when i was 3 yo, my dad left my mom and never came back, so i mostly grew up without him. As i entered adolescence (i was 14 yo), my mom was a bit disturbed, everything wasn't going well in her life, and she rejected most of her frustration towards me. She drank a lot, often yelled at me, sometimes beat the shit out of me. I never really fought back, since i knew it wasn't all her fault. I saw a psychologist without her knowing, and it was a really bad experience. I told him i was frustrated, and sometimes it was hard not to fight back my mom when she was beating me. He told me that wasn't acceptable, and i shouldn't be ever doing that. I felt like he wasn't even interessed in what i had to say, so i stopped going there and never saw a psychologist again. So i kept going, and my mom was becoming even more cruel, telling me i was a little shit, didn't deserved to live and stuff like that. One night i felt full of rage and i destroyed absolutly everything in my bedroom. Obviously, she became mad for it and almost punched me to death that night, not even kidding. After this night i tried to be nicer to her, and to hide my own feelings, because i was scared of her reactions. I often felt full of frustration, anger, and i began to cut myself, it was the only thing that calmed me down. I was bullied at school aswell because i never took any showers (i was leaving house before she was awake, and came back before she came back from work, to stay in my bedroom), never washed my clothes, barely eat (she wouldn't give me food so i mostly had to steal in stores to ear). One day, i couldn't bear this situation anymore. She struck me once again, and this time i just pushed her aside and ran out of the house. This was the last time i saw my mother, she killed herself some time after that. I lived in the streets for a little week, sleeping under a bridge, stealing in stores like i used to do to eat. I got caught on the 6th day i think, told my story to the police, then sent me to a psychiatric hospital, where i stayed 11 days. I took medecine when i was there, and i was feeling very nice, i couldn't overthink, i was feeling so light headed. I told the doctors i didn't want to go back to my mother's house, so they did researches or whatever and found my father. He came, and took me with him. He was married, had a daughter and a wife. It felt really strange, i kinda felt like the ugly duckling and my new relation with this father i never knew was awkward. His wife didn't like me, and they sent me to a residential school. I graduated, then they sent me to a big city, far away from them, payed for my studies, a flat and stuff. But i still felt really bad, i couldn't focus on hard studies ( i tried law and psychology ), i was really feeling down and lacked motivation. So i dropped my studies and worked a bit, mostly in restaurants. But it's been 2 years since i didn't work now. I can't find the motivation, i feel like i only lived horrible things in my life and i struggle to go on. I have troubles getting out of bed, lots of insomnia, i'm feeling physically weak, i have troubles in social relations... I should probably see another psychologist, but i'm scared because of my previous experience. I just want to be happy but i have no clue what to do, i don't know if i have some kind of mental illness, i think i would feel better if i could put words on my situation.

If you ever found the courage to read all of this, thank you for your time and sorry again for all the grammar mistakes i've made, i'm not very good at english :(

If you guys have any advices, i would be very thankful, i really don't know what to do right now and i would like to start over and finally getting over all this shit.",4.251791894852136,4.8795615373494,5.22316538882804,84.49363088718512,70.3734939759036,8.205038335158818,28.102957283680176,8.296473431620573,1.7453204819277106,3196,108,670,45,55,1050,317,830,0.184,0.703,0.113,-0.9967,1,1,0,0,1,1,122.0,0,4,5,10,39,54,16,5,29,0,66,17,6,5,14,140,138,52,2,22,17,12,16,7,1,7,7,3,4,3,30,40,4,2,29,1,3,21,31,35,1,4,70,24,141,19,87,53,22,118,0,2,4,0,66,39,3,20,62,464,171,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920534811053847,0.0,0.0,0.047165040915159134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406085265296788,0.04938970756235159,0.0,0.0,0.04671172686794483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044253121186329486,0.21730745964520806,0.11798258590761143,0.08613735000481725,0.05201956698213304,0.08015929194659599,0.0,0.0,0.04165717746368516,0.1028446070438534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154848670107332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03760646985497911,0.0,0.0,0.09112911846757484,0.0,0.04056818840867652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821006676014655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639255828193384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332968102405922,0.08521145110657719,0.0,0.0,0.08466303011449168,0.09214800929204728,0.0,0.0,0.19052622681717002,0.03364910160406062,0.2713471897037851,0.05159705451088608,0.043049636981400775,0.08012850120253823,0.05695494939230485,0.10328805370000374,0.036390264778797615,0.0,0.04921685849852422,0.04518375611678938,0.1338434668029156,0.03950624588599179,0.03767112672123664,0.0,0.0,0.09327517237852097,0.0,0.05014009566287734,0.08438683440501084,0.0,0.04833941258838558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304535796566447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491614080916438,0.0,0.0,0.052110491298368325,0.04904864425669533,0.10354233521487498,0.03839375870890068,0.0,0.04987336238355483,0.05117558387932422,0.0,0.06653793095647495,0.1610788456728937,0.09441553838433576,0.12477364873818747,0.08336614701972526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013124949352864,0.0,0.044568287561361684,0.03144041199352635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746692410329232,0.0,0.0,0.2206573913322019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034924937702771795,0.21796406186857764,0.045490625588702184,0.0,0.13260383638405004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942477865310183,0.05016123319955399,0.06383397456660173,0.07164515929112145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03265403654907166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507830523545046,0.04506948043021165,0.0,0.047349708280217985,0.0,0.0,0.04711393913077614,0.0,0.21121961177307555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022416136216789,0.0,0.03745675908087859,0.09431302188293543,0.09533784361255826,0.037533552512607725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504609288406392,0.07792518695970366,0.10588742851735827,0.04713520879724978,0.04801373454711092,0.0,0.0,0.0931685682635386,0.10545185839328916,0.06667693349660962,0.1004072091918912,0.03761507347630497,0.039378706298695394,0.0,0.0492403935625787,0.1078391939697065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571630934941795,0.041168518645407735,0.08672890031639169,0.0,0.0,0.06258387925957487,0.060361085068174586,0.0,0.0,0.16479050607322046,0.0,0.0,0.1800288330928574,0.1569934750988216,0.06395723632275366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04068030772715252,0.0,0.11659025088356985,0.0833445117296834,0.0,0.037781735827421115,0.0,0.04234962902413311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080773825084404,0.0,0.10287068816535652,0.0,0.0,0.1003780080661131,0.0,0.0,0.06066324788168617
mentalhealth,crusty-baguette,2018/04/03,"Work and sedation I've had a very hard time back in February. I have been on clomipramine for years, but doctors decided to double my dose.
The change in my mood has been pretty unbelievable, from being obsessed with suicide to only thinking about it once or twice a day. 
I had a sick leave for 2 weeks and have been back at work for a month now. But now, the sedation really kicks in, and I have no idea how to work in that state. I can't focus, most tasks which would take me 10min take me one hour, and I'm pretty sure are filled with mistakes. 
Does anyone has any advice about how to deal with heavy sedation?",3.8221138211382097,5.027836739837404,4.226178861788622,89.1047967479675,71.84552845528455,7.743089430894308,23.422764227642283,8.167268648758528,1.0383593495934962,481,12,103,7,9,151,82,123,0.159,0.74,0.102,-0.7715,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,3,8,4,0,1,6,0,14,3,0,2,1,19,18,9,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,5,1,8,1,19,11,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,10,68,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188682080139905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961759803238352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299292380126245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051150357606785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607820161375885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344053672374182,0.1813445185467196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004045054065995,0.15393071708485448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757127823081274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732254393797689,0.0,0.0,0.19856896919763584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18625202653599315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040119260140166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873270798369531,0.11919396002861984,0.13377939115917173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579057763107841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268563548250525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240535244850052,0.0,0.16578306703793008,0.0,0.2645088586146307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270920868938683,0.0,0.0,0.10256833254990144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513539535328568,0.0,0.0,0.1410958581414006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841704915461565,0.0,0.0,0.1249538599929682,0.0,0.0,0.11327342206573325
mentalhealth,Pastel-,2018/04/03,"My boyfriend's dad is emotionally abusive. I currently live with my boyfriend and his dad. I'm 19, unemployed, currently trying to get a job so I can get a car and move out of here with my boyfriend and hopefully get our own apartment.

My boyfriend's dad, I'm going to refer to him as Satan, is lazy, disgusting, abusive emotionally and psychically. He's beaten my boyfriend's mom and has broken her nose (they are no longer together.) He doesn't clean up after himself, he doesn't say please or thank you, he pisses everywhere, he screams at my boyfriend, he throws away all of the food in the house if you argue with him, he threatens to kick out my boyfriend when I argue with him, he threatens to charge my boyfriend unrealistic amounts of 'rent' when I argue with him.

After living with them for around a year and a half now, I recently developed bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder and chronic panic attacks. I was mentally fine until I lived with them. 

Now here's my problem, this fucker is bonkers. He sings loudly when I'm around, as if he's trying to aggravate me. He will sneak up behind me and creep on me when ever I'm out of my room. I try to avoid him as much as possible. He talks about women in horrific ways, calling them fat wh*res and c*nts, and those are just random women he sees in public. He talks about killing animals and how he has done it before. He recently stopped drinking (he owns a bar next door) but he was an alcoholic for around 45 years. Until recently he would come in the house at 2 a.m and scream his head off, cook an entire meal that he wouldn't eat, leave the oven on, and go to bed.

So, today, I decided to clean up the bathroom because no one else will. Halfway through the cleaning process he barges in and watches me clean as he sings. So I get mad and go to my room.
Around 30 minutes later when he's doing something else I go back to the bathroom to clean and I told him we should get a welcome mat and a shoe rack to tidy up. He proceeded to freak out.
he said “i dont want that shit in my house im gonna start charging (my boyfriend) $300 a month, he’s gonna be broke.”

He refuses to clean his own house and the reason is: he doesn't care, he's never here, it's the way of life. He says the house is my boyfriend and I's responsibility.

In reality, he's always here, he won't let me buy things for the house, he won't let me buy cleaning supplies, he leaves everything he touches a disgusting mess.

My boyfriend refuses to stand up for me... and we are in this situation where him, his friend and I could split an apartment three ways, but he refuses because his current living situation with his father aka Satan, would be cheaper. So, I'm supposed to give up my sanity just so my boyfriend doesn't have to spend money...and I get it, I want to get a job and maybe then it'll be easier for us to get a place with his friend. The thing is, he doesn't stand up for me. He yells at me for making his dad upset. And I can't take it much longer. I have no one else to live with.",4.232088785231447,4.875772168557539,5.100742380519431,85.29630628137723,70.42625607779578,8.483045420405581,28.825117602877807,8.628873520835908,1.9167638771395807,2376,85,510,38,41,775,263,617,0.16399999999999998,0.794,0.042,-0.996,8,1,3,0,0,0,84.0,4,2,4,1,28,28,12,3,26,0,40,17,6,3,3,76,72,48,1,11,7,6,1,0,2,11,5,7,13,3,12,45,8,6,3,5,4,8,14,21,0,4,5,11,72,7,86,50,7,79,2,1,2,1,92,36,3,5,30,301,84,4,0.0,0.15719378490378544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089263091860533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519657096694682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362111533314957,0.0,0.07546637310757914,0.06232452243997366,0.05100801661727489,0.0,0.08087518739738075,0.0,0.05644674833965535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773611066966513,0.0,0.06763361147087486,0.0,0.0,0.0571422847074918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296361502946098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205279323826024,0.0,0.0,0.06788439643472051,0.07774488230526702,0.06498367819669615,0.0,0.06787792590259947,0.1662447590514474,0.14923734496454055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600043890042627,0.0,0.0,0.05961820069130881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021332566627695,0.0,0.10250151008572828,0.0,0.2772610943305717,0.06363519558690614,0.15080030382632678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680795099607723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588626356576703,0.0,0.4592545700213216,0.0,0.0,0.07165388022928944,0.0,0.13165578449897775,0.0,0.07339056313357836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047974062408128,0.0,0.13566538349077392,0.04685482808710112,0.0,0.0,0.29287795083641205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044279558374243536,0.0,0.06664307186839533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685072820007218,0.0,0.0,0.07769150609583557,0.052948479237472944,0.07050429289812284,0.0975286640153138,0.0,0.05116213915487785,0.0,0.07054871138864932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990150013504304,0.0,0.0,0.07783058700215711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792172683239535,0.06930663056582939,0.07281661837122058,0.0,0.0747834730155412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347425377305149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820409160345263,0.19649534096658036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310038943549125,0.10550553539649818,0.0,0.0,0.052860920837072736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809258668046167,0.0,0.14912808945055514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05106842065498187,0.0,0.0,0.04695271120471625,0.0,0.0,0.055459569824158166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987614972846257,0.1066361579616119,0.0,0.06107294976103277,0.0,0.0,0.08814091035230548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287843536609296,0.06338655188124995,0.0,0.13511264641467366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979361366056521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825296464662983,0.15796244282034527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424587838456476,0.0,0.0,0.08543596140856585
mentalhealth,im_sammyjo,2018/04/03,"Should I end it all?  I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a failure in life. Like there's nothing to do. I honestly feel like just fucking killing myself. Like if I were to die today I'd be totally okay with it. I'm a failure in school, I don't see the point in fucking living. Like honestly.. I make a good living for myself, I get a good job, I get a family then what? I'm dead. So what? All of it is wasted. Suicide to me feels like the only way out. It just feels like the right thing to do. My parents don't understand my way of thinking and honestly I really feel like they don't care to understand either... even if they tell me otherwise. What do you think? ",-0.7881415607985431,1.3275028827586226,2.1159709618874807,93.48480943738659,92.58620689655173,5.811252268602541,18.66606170598911,7.273561745256523,0.4830000000000001,518,16,119,10,19,181,73,145,0.218,0.611,0.171,-0.9144,2,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,1,2,0,5,18,3,0,8,1,12,3,0,1,3,23,32,5,4,3,5,1,5,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,10,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,6,19,15,14,29,4,11,0,0,1,2,5,6,2,2,11,75,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015316253685268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230687753726635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437771677235608,0.0,0.0,0.07783702118548425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109593342451364,0.0,0.2979356444495291,0.4209506245530715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789583451691102,0.12314068629394714,0.0,0.0,0.19768942511616536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694524756107855,0.0,0.13038056181071064,0.0,0.06476578660145464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832390235025391,0.4605938512875728,0.0,0.20812262580691412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786639787332906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307764960523088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962817166614162,0.0,0.0,0.13085546519810082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140377720359576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509919785674224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006409386304969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926774534570768,0.09390902947596724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289058038709455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300372259340118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782925005584485,0.15102356524777424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111705447931885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453663623821808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18708338111920855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eatchubeaners,2018/04/03,"Deperately need help. (25M) I'm really struggling. I'm currently seeing a pyschologist once every two weeks, and on Zoloft, but it's not enough. I'm struggling from the loss/rejection of a recent short term relationship breakup of mine while she also happens to be in my friends group. I don't love myself, I can't control my thoughts from always thinking about her, I feel like I'm losing myself in this, and I'm taking this way too fucking hard.
I also seem to be talking about this alot, and can't try to figure out a solution. Conversations always go around and around.

It triggered alot of feelings being left due to me being ghosted from a near 6 year relationship in the summer of 2016. I just really don't know what to do anymore. It's put me in such a bad place that I feel like I'm clawing to get out of.

Brief outline of the past relationship: 3 months, I'm aware that she suffers from severe depression and anxiety, and it was always a game of hot and cold with her. I was trying to play a rescuer in the relationship, and it wasn't healthy. She left telling me ""I can't love you the way you deserve because I can't love myself"", while this hurts alot, I can't shake the feeling that it's because of me due to my current feelings of self worth. I CANT SEEM TO LEARN HOW TO JUST LET GO. ugh",3.4926136363636364,4.831246670454547,4.665575757575759,85.12336363636366,72.82575757575758,7.4012121212121205,27.593939393939394,7.908726449838941,1.6239339393939392,1027,38,210,14,20,338,133,264,0.205,0.7140000000000001,0.081,-0.9899,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,2,11,17,1,3,16,0,17,5,0,3,0,36,45,14,1,1,4,0,7,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,14,13,0,1,12,2,1,5,10,10,0,1,4,9,29,7,37,36,5,35,0,4,1,4,22,15,1,5,15,134,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307019952894253,0.25450956094269195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799694426404692,0.0,0.10111410074153022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152696768115706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085129965407716,0.12430427032620843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435361857063248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781554792981201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534899565369503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590330019706395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577630043890968,0.14567642335611505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787718447929902,0.09425774658940313,0.053268405195874606,0.0,0.11588920122062782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901603751681458,0.0,0.09133358417051504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833973161992024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914724281696013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056032985804228254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22155349377295605,0.10425809847268463,0.0,0.09962223144731994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406397646094706,0.0,0.0,0.2760609383254595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138122814055608,0.0,0.0,0.07559993830356769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858104221661044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732964083814116,0.0,0.0,0.10652352617030876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024951012122296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063272810509946,0.0,0.1006703900473902,0.4378553109214119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124665184561411,0.1856359287622734,0.10636354836432667,0.11518256384233902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317551069411944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665909159770362,0.08194929886640212,0.0891150471370803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533002787186414,0.0,0.08094259209418593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844443077369142,0.0,0.09959732517199477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185768734605616,0.08178387952652069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565706481969663
mentalhealth,ComfortableRaccoon,2018/04/03,"Breaking down, no reason? [27/F/USA] I'm using a throwaway because my S/O knows my reddit username. Sorry for any confusion.

I'm literally breaking down every day into tears, and I have no idea why. I had suicidal tendencies when I was younger and have suffered from depression and similar things pretty much since I've turned 12. No, I've never gotten assistance for it and I honestly just can't afford to get help.

Anyway, lately, I have been feeling fine. A small amount of stress due to work, but nothing I've never experienced before. Yet, for absolutely no reason at all, I have been breaking down into tears at least twice a day for the past week. And of course with these breakdowns come the suicidal thoughts, lack of self-worth, etcetc.

Does anyone have experience with this kind of stuff? What should I do? I mean, I literally looked at a piece of Brocolli yesterday and started crying. Brocolli. I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. I'm literally just fine, happy, right now, and yet 5 minutes ago I was crying. I can't handle this, wtf is wrong with me! :-/",3.1333823529411764,5.596101848039218,4.526235294117652,80.77905882352944,77.08823529411767,7.413333333333332,25.39607843137255,8.395991825355821,1.977400784313725,843,31,152,17,20,279,128,204,0.269,0.6459999999999999,0.085,-0.9914,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,1,7,11,0,2,7,0,16,0,0,3,3,31,32,9,2,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,0,8,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,7,4,15,6,23,24,6,29,0,2,1,0,1,10,0,1,16,95,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467148198300837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564202326587304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983408150074496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573463191163344,0.0,0.11967678461702552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115144097076262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30897933493442165,0.181406124702286,0.0,0.1211355596734226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307758613223857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849774433432328,0.0,0.0,0.13757578433051912,0.0,0.0,0.1422265944282788,0.10047534571309498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734801322593847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971702677516094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426999925260568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587687621577155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645798115024156,0.07729368267443053,0.0,0.1586513643089901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871103720682653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810464926949643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532013944952361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338874479636878,0.0,0.21694501413407688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134950695803961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425960201449574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308443384575908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892087364080081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010830382453425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672126136776986,0.0,0.0,0.116341294808729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574382587212294,0.09954779808077316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611060146319833,0.0,0.16100251981497518,0.3076811020795802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343692111996174,0.0,0.0,0.11165478580835808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297913402483249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147034505395213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128152844485709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690837935088234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238973666893664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377097834316994,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VulcanTrekkie45,2018/04/03,"Feeling very low I don’t know what exactly happened but as I was leaving work last night a switch just flipped in my head. I’ve felt on the verge of tears ever since. My career is either in shambles or nonexistent depending on how you look at it. I’m turning 30 in a few months and I’m still living with my parents in an increasingly toxic environment. I can’t afford to move out. I struggle to make ends meet. I’ve never had a serious relationship. Last person I dated broke up with me nearly two years ago after dating for only a couple months. And I’m pretty sure that I’ve eaten myself into an early grave with how overweight I am. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m just existing, just taking up space. I don’t feel like I should even talk to anyone because I’ll only waste their time. I don’t know what to do anymore.",1.4905968253968247,3.700961605714287,3.642809523809525,86.26180158730162,81.51428571428572,5.946031746031745,21.722222222222214,7.1686216300943375,0.8168984126984125,671,21,133,9,18,229,112,175,0.121,0.763,0.117,-0.1812,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,1,8,9,0,1,7,0,12,3,1,4,4,29,29,7,1,1,6,1,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,7,2,0,7,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,4,5,18,4,24,24,3,33,0,3,1,0,7,15,0,2,18,82,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312798548545842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937466483829111,0.10355349687925457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027910677202368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386751225467455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117078383311262,0.0,0.0,0.09781726785997882,0.13396303158071735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22464824805184014,0.21160234228188626,0.14219721125729193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096248608435115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199117421605293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441722023660188,0.2414391138106511,0.0,0.1568142951037955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447063088998897,0.0,0.1307731611912816,0.0,0.12436493869435375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885649992115758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364206656861934,0.15740463277471933,0.0,0.0,0.11422223235795405,0.0,0.0,0.13897984907390482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252702568042808,0.0,0.0,0.16444519452668638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931337606498486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506688090046264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900172319758754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250811535364554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827117624636485,0.0,0.0,0.1548240832002808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958052044429345,0.0,0.1113511916723952,0.11903548418468984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635707792245803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108799054219264,0.14467013128051304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219627963370346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781703686115714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537019363276568
mentalhealth,Wanderer15,2018/04/03,"Could anyone tell me about unlicensed therapists? How to find them?  

How much do they charge per hour -- licensed ones are expensive.

Are they confidential?

Were they helpful?",4.751785714285713,8.105013464285719,3.4511428571428597,80.29385714285716,92.92857142857142,7.954285714285715,27.028571428571425,8.238735603445708,3.1523914285714287,139,6,21,4,5,40,24,28,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744168270021145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133469982553579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35870089843912234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26305734881729503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864935799676907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885029099321748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659407329947139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430269256833815,0.0,0.0,0.4556757606341365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bad_fish1,2018/04/03,"""Daddy Issues"" I am 17 years old and about to graduate high school.My life is pretty stable as of right now and I feel happy. However there is this problem that haunts me and I face it every time that I am with my boyfriend(who I love more than anything). I guess I should start by saying my bio dad cut off contact with me and my older sister one day completely out of the blue for no reason when I was about 12, he said that if I reached out to him again he would file harassment charges against me and my sister. Towards the end of our relationship he would criticize me constantly and my self esteem really took a beating.I also grew up watching my mom be verbally abused by men over and over again.I saw way too much when I was a child, I saw violence and lots of sexual things that no child my age should've seen. My mom is happily married now to the best guy ever, I am thankful he is my stepdad but I still feel this void that I can never tell him I love you or call him dad just because he came into my life when I was older. That was just background on why I think I'm having issues. So back to my boyfriend, we have been on and off since I was a freshman  because he used to be a dick,for lack of a better word. After not speaking for some time and failed relationships in between, he grew up, got his shit together, and treats me wonderfully.I have never felt more trust and love in someone. Where the problem lies is me. I am a very nice and positive person, BUT I have this really bad tendency to be toxic to  boyfriends. I started to realize it with my last relationship that something was wrong and it wasn't just him. As my current boyfriend points out I nitpick ALOT ,I show affection by being kinda mean,and I tend to just shutdown emotionally whenever we fight or he gets mad at me.I almost don't know how to let myself be happy in a relationship and I have to stir the pot.I  don't even realize that I'm doing half of these things because I think deep down.... I resent men. But I don't consciously think or feel that way, I love my boyfriend so much and he is honestly the person I see myself having a beautiful future with but as of now I can tell I'm wearing him out and making him resent me. He is supportive and wants to help me but a person can only put up with so much. Should I mention that this has happened with all of the other guys I have dated too?? I seriously need help with this trauma and I plan to go to therapy. Your constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you. ",3.883803921568624,4.869164223529413,5.1130392156862765,83.6370098039216,71.47058823529412,8.333333333333334,27.10784313725491,8.680891452615391,1.852549019607844,1974,66,407,34,36,656,245,510,0.131,0.7170000000000001,0.152,0.9647,2,0,1,0,2,0,45.0,3,3,0,4,26,30,7,0,17,0,45,9,3,5,4,84,82,39,0,10,14,6,4,0,0,4,2,3,0,10,22,34,0,0,12,1,0,6,9,14,0,2,16,13,72,16,63,56,11,62,0,1,6,4,58,25,1,10,29,288,94,2,0.0,0.09718297960959647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213345703711021,0.0,0.0,0.0655931810623566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749734087683376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630700640216369,0.06848517081539969,0.1500000466158254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607731380034885,0.07254203386901308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375391006804256,0.09381162786760697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599879136162929,0.08863693678575628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052897579727535296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226401579144114,0.07264738724574409,0.0,0.0,0.05417493690199848,0.07419384063634349,0.06910730151746602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441877522866622,0.0,0.07875424366310455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042853251630391734,0.0,0.04661514722367993,0.0,0.06560070357330644,0.09042984413770434,0.0903567795746056,0.16242988905619718,0.07253202400116714,0.1746284668923047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099555995601192,0.08666103340963857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712198832453931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04507729547076289,0.06685909882031173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387333001480818,0.11586951240819045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973240227396088,0.2961132103700664,0.0,0.054750503287899634,0.0,0.0,0.08934629955831053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921269866330092,0.0,0.0,0.18088742195792465,0.06081847518152799,0.1265212649295296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606857654115795,0.0,0.0555804140719919,0.06238163370979859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148560517637771,0.0,0.0,0.07753755871858331,0.0,0.0,0.08344613788037017,0.0,0.1569684733766409,0.0,0.08245503778420425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050911351309972,0.08433255612041399,0.0,0.35224489540512505,0.0,0.07004657188862014,0.07802196331897432,0.0652274026063643,0.0,0.08301091794289146,0.06536113110321863,0.0,0.08556711779895429,0.0,0.08419468323104969,0.06784967076331441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949720465782827,0.06314475201732844,0.0,0.0,0.11611157218247828,0.0,0.06550309214978052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307790194237736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338216152622024,0.15103017552397974,0.09379961602611707,0.0,0.108983905423262,0.15766967941610058,0.0,0.0,0.09565569249362067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112976187405612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084090763272542,0.0,0.06767696423796107,0.048378860985494127,0.13021092294107178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401234248097023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653253699491654,0.08967847805622006,0.0,0.05281965378323925
mentalhealth,Suspicious_Substance,2018/04/03,"Advice on What to Do? I just wanted advice to see if my mother's reaction towards my depression is normal. My mother tells me there is no reason for me to be depressed, but I can't help being depressed. She got incredible angry with me about a week ago, saying I was making her life miserable because of my depression. She says I sleep all the time, never say anything positive, look sad all the time, don't properly take care of myself, etc. She said she was fed up with me at one point and that she wanted nothing to do with me. She also said how I'm too much for her. In context of what she is saying, I was on prozac for the majority of my childhood, the I had to transfer to Resperdol, where it backfired, so I was taken off of Resperdol. I tell my mom I can't focus anymore, but she refuses to put me back on prozac, because it gave me nightmares. Is there any tips on how to focus better and what to do with my mom? She says she is not putting me back on any medication, so I'm lost. I understand medication is only a minor part of fixing what I have, but I was way better on the medication I took the majority of my childhood. Today, she got really angry over a wet towel, yelling at me. Someone please give me advice on what do with my mother.  Should I move out and live with my dad, since they are divorced, or should I stay? How would I move out without her noticing? If I stay, I fear my depression will worsen. Even since I lived with her full time, my depression has gotten worse. Please comment and give advice on the situation please.",4.6246463022508015,5.116348916398716,5.992827974276531,79.79322909967847,69.48231511254019,8.792347266881029,28.411736334405145,8.841846274778883,2.114027524115755,1207,40,240,20,20,409,150,311,0.203,0.7490000000000001,0.048,-0.9956,1,0,0,0,2,0,39.0,0,0,1,3,15,13,0,2,10,0,28,8,1,5,3,38,50,16,0,8,9,6,1,0,0,4,6,8,0,0,8,13,1,1,2,0,0,5,7,10,0,1,16,11,58,3,45,28,8,39,0,9,2,0,38,20,0,3,11,183,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101709919417814,0.07034156931041634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345849569132896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079254036534478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869676672714387,0.0,0.0,0.06530068592247094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203498355001395,0.0,0.096745598223291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036240563910887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090558318710415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41007928507108543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849947375963306,0.05241185050478439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929408831534917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224508933405564,0.0,0.0,0.12693154677457416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318858475768996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604930905029176,0.0,0.0,0.14014015161835874,0.0,0.06663646120453559,0.0,0.08662307815426097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296868547494783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23981913386803586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18587434480191373,0.0,0.16867917622803374,0.05833352136619265,0.0,0.061201858298039875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774900631868527,0.076141259984998,0.09034381716265803,0.0,0.0,0.053771587378217925,0.06035146595845081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593147167016825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26131700704345945,0.07501415171771833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954318955755498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083550788280413,0.08158801056040411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096558340109495,0.31552310622940805,0.0,0.0,0.06323399763995176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128309894587034,0.08919599873630504,0.0794102205178352,0.0,0.06723546549976936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915929359315185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059663514828663236,0.0,0.13871588680499014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881396476686053,0.0,0.07521728283543011,0.0,0.0881640058855968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260918074852973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093608807857049,0.06298664860120676,0.06365212014881669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649337621737795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086739744530236,0.056370032502017685,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Inzideout,2018/04/03,Lonely I am so lonely that it hurts! ,-0.9450000000000004,1.0802645000000022,2.2800000000000007,92.965,91.5,3.2,8.0,3.1291,-1.9899,28,0,6,0,1,10,7,8,0.685,0.315,0.0,-0.8264,0,4,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrsheline,2018/04/03,"Psychology or Mental Health Classes Hello, Reddit. 

I was wondering if anyone knew about some free classes in the Central Florida area or online to learn more about psychology or mental health in general? I'm not in school and I really only have a casual interest in learning about this, so I'm not looking to enroll in anything that will lead to a degree. I know there are plenty of books to read about mental health, but I would rather learn in a class-type setting since I tend to get bored easily when trying to read anything that isn't a graphic novel. Any pointers or suggestions are welcome.

Thanks",5.146627335299903,7.183283761061951,5.910206489675512,75.0521730580138,69.79646017699115,8.56204523107178,28.484759095378564,9.150863307647796,2.7165897738446407,487,18,79,10,9,159,75,113,0.045,0.809,0.146,0.8895,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,5,0,7,3,0,1,0,20,16,9,0,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,5,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,1,5,6,17,12,2,10,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,7,1,52,8,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167310585503872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002493300059115,0.0,0.2825143268872227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968247772442325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.547382646169522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433691477607446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414668634336406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5189625864074257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305511078562932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34340223456012425,0.0,0.10996637392547214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737236852761373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199451279269876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803655308316256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654224988787168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615216199218027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193854906689612,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elenov,2018/04/03,"trying to be a better person but still feel sad so i realised how moody and passive agressive i was to people around me which made me really upset about myself. i wanted to change for the better so i became more open minded and more willing to help people without asking them to do anything back for me. even if someone has done something wrong to me, i feel as if i'll go back to my old self if i become angry at them so as a result i act as if it doesn't impact me and try to brush it off. basically, im really trying to be less known as a ""petty"" person. but im still sad. i dont feel any better about myself. i kinda think it made me worse. also, another funny thing: i haven't been able to cry ever since i ""changed"" even if i wanted to which is funny because i used to cry quite easily. i'm not really sure what to do?? i kind of feel uncomfortable venting to someone because im used to being a mental support for my close friends, but i never rly vented to them in return so i think it'll be kinda strange for me if i do vent. kinda wanna cry atm but can't. chest kinda hurts. im really confused and idk how to feel anymore. anyone have any comments on this? ",2.7690650406504065,3.713235906504067,4.945691056910572,83.94626016260165,74.08130081300814,6.767479674796747,22.609756097560968,6.937597516519254,0.7401073170731713,907,22,185,8,18,317,127,246,0.195,0.67,0.135,-0.959,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,4,17,14,0,2,5,0,19,1,1,7,3,46,36,25,0,9,12,0,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,9,7,0,0,8,0,1,2,7,7,0,0,5,6,31,7,35,25,3,17,0,3,0,0,10,7,0,11,8,131,40,0,0.09398391805598356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751589053139157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782457424788884,0.0985503326904726,0.0,0.0,0.09320679247940188,0.06571574073968277,0.0,0.07734075661127539,0.08366561281755727,0.08786227648598706,0.0,0.0,0.14453566340801285,0.0,0.1145834482394769,0.10379785355140184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493634139952841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884504696083471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097107625190809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617817869066034,0.11014845200591514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241509829850711,0.08501383456249083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23760546434938415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261174195286405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341322649145698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299543917695853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006117281005582,0.0,0.4060750368870918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978697880203406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785971140128445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094713684146992,0.0,0.0948969654331517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724861915295385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862031220304393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031323020227426,0.16412626423554566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996346556168037,0.0,0.0,0.2408340180096996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804572366329478,0.0,0.0,0.07774446821892082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926453755898615,0.07235341175829485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501113567269693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665183645011243,0.08857873051378128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243873902578957,0.12044219957198088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142673328081697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623438590074859,0.0,0.0,0.11086829981754223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905971431820312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957776417697963,0.0,0.10275666055158926,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,purplepippin,2018/04/03,"About to go for initial appointment with psychiatrist (UK) Without a massive amount of context I understand that it's limited what the answer to this can be; but I've been referred by my GP because of possible bipolar disorder, alcohol problems, mood swings, impulsive behaviour, anger issues. What will she ask me? I'm quite nervous.",7.745862068965517,9.53041410344828,7.968448275862072,63.75887931034484,63.13793103448275,12.006896551724141,45.53448275862069,11.698219412168324,6.434744827586206,270,18,38,9,4,88,53,58,0.258,0.742,0.0,-0.9493,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,8,8,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,9,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306839130792937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892729590333038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862414254517548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546307423714799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585478884290068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229619362708918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488330334196806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960803449594099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291142528370853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32212495805932245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982770847328297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whos__who,2018/04/03,"I just don’t know what is wrong with me I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and I’m being referred for neuro psych testing for ADD. I don’t feel like my medications help and i don’t know how to talk about it with my doctor. Sometimes I’m mean to my SO for no reason and fuck things up for no reason. I probably also have anger issues?
Does anyone else feel like they’ve lived in this gray area where you just want to know what is wrong with you? ",3.2537142857142847,4.362514431578951,4.235488721804515,88.86842105263159,73.10526315789474,7.533834586466164,21.99248120300752,7.957251820313856,0.7855112781954885,361,8,79,5,7,117,60,95,0.24,0.6759999999999999,0.084,-0.9553,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,7,7,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,3,0,21,18,6,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,3,10,2,14,16,0,4,0,1,1,1,4,4,1,0,2,48,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193622222779648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577700457999325,0.0,0.0,0.12410297811728364,0.18185631939725605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286922027478478,0.1801454831961706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816653788129888,0.1553199958464878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826754330458258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948543475759648,0.2535933758412344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408379342456555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189657382184215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18525022726853524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926265012799355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342228343844193,0.0,0.15672419812701602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333528308809886,0.0,0.17879939482934795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136091408376385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649722191447304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755390977912027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426572596208706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791442013388395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468638130900956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881081595459646,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wsdpii,2018/04/03,"Is self-worth/esteem (specifically the lack thereof) tied with my anxiety? I've been living with social anxiety in various severity ever since it first began to manifest four years ago. It's not easy, but I'm starting to wonder if it's beginning to seep into other parts of my life.

I've always seen myself as fat, unattractive, and shy, and from my experiences I have no reason to believe otherwise. People tend to be surprised when I tell them my weight (216) and how I feel about it, and they say I've changed a ton since losing 50 lbs, even though I can't see a difference. I always think people are just trying to be nice, I never feel like they are genuine. I don't have any reason to think so, but I do.

 My roommates always try to lift me up, saying that I'm a hot guy and trying to set me up with girls (my own dating attempts have not gone well, which hasn't helped matters). I don't feel like they are being genuine either. They are all attractive and outgoing womanizing guys, I don't think they'd be encouraging me if they thought I was any kind of real competition.

Does this self depreciating mindset stem from my anxiety? I'd ask my psychologist but I can only meet with him once a month. Would medicine help at all with how I think? He's recommended it several times but I've never gotten any.",4.541645299145301,5.557175788461542,5.83717948717949,78.94004273504277,69.96153846153847,8.854700854700855,27.52136752136752,9.150863307647796,2.196688034188034,1035,34,201,20,18,348,153,260,0.111,0.799,0.08900000000000001,-0.1764,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,7,3,10,9,0,0,5,0,23,3,1,4,5,44,43,18,0,4,10,0,5,2,0,1,2,2,0,5,9,12,2,0,11,0,0,1,10,1,1,2,7,9,33,8,25,30,8,20,0,1,2,0,23,5,0,3,15,130,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493625648122853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673433077316689,0.0,0.0,0.21849172336918374,0.0,0.24578991447643295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100122532888103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066320517377853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329589074070814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189501774365102,0.0,0.0,0.0937225185606857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707374733170929,0.09687662085883084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476277123735828,0.0,0.0,0.1624564844220149,0.15302221548884026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910978316901999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120884785485972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357158004667575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152648738143082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564675670103622,0.1046457224635794,0.0,0.09456983621339693,0.0,0.0,0.11981569826747375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548490924182141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520175405441567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405628486262233,0.0,0.08145314793824444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597711444689728,0.0,0.1484970706257881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190140911155226,0.0,0.22022995427282027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033786895802594,0.0,0.0,0.08534354688317837,0.0,0.2234539459851513,0.2419813817333076,0.0,0.17718578182659372,0.0,0.0,0.1091733164341802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580478823557961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360870916615648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274497283021898,0.10522361963340886,0.08502415479671296,0.06244992963845913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21813832016550905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041698062951235,0.09629431024127716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161436301748104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607962000179981,0.0,0.0,0.06896784867269759
mentalhealth,ellechad,2018/04/03,"How to forgive my mentally ill older brother Long-ish backstory, sorry.

My entire life I have just accepted the fact that my older brother will always be mean, will always argue, will always isolate himself. Since he was a teenager he has gone through several therapists and medication treatments. Sometimes he is told he could be on the autism spectrum, sometimes he is told he could be dealing with bipolar disorder, etc. I do know that he suffers from severe anxiety and depression. He is able to hold a job and be functional around strangers but incapable of being civil to the people who are close to him.

I’m not trying to diagnose him, just giving some background into what I have dealt with my whole life with him. As I have gotten older, the way he has treated me, my siblings, and my parents has dramatically worsened. He feels he is the black sheep of the family and that he never got the support he needed. He resents any family member who is more successful than he is, since he is the oldest sibling. 

It’s hard to understand him, because I really don’t know what is going on in his head. 

He is abusive to his girlfriend. He doesn’t let you talk to him unless you walk on eggshells and don’t dare talk about anything he might not like, or else he will explode. He is manipulative. He will be horrifically rude to me, but tell me I have made him suicidal if I respond rudely as well. He will use my insecurities against me to try to cut me down. He has said things that I did not believe a family member could say to me. It’s very difficult to just say, “these are things he said when he was having an episode. They don’t mean anything.” Because he can control himself when he wants to, like when he is at work or in public. 

And after all that, he is still my brother and I still want him to get the help he needs. There are obviously more details and complex issues (as is the way it goes with mental health) but I wonder if anyone has a similar experience with a loved one, or advice as to how to personally forgive him and how to understand him a little better. 

(Writing from the US, btw) ",5.2942114842114885,6.1892117199017225,6.205842205842207,77.41835289835294,68.16461916461915,8.879752479752481,31.53599053599053,9.049649993220411,2.7007168805168806,1658,67,306,29,27,549,203,407,0.158,0.774,0.069,-0.9893,2,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,2,1,4,15,20,5,1,18,0,52,9,1,7,4,67,79,29,1,9,15,4,2,2,1,7,7,4,0,1,15,18,0,2,12,0,0,3,8,9,1,1,11,7,41,11,46,51,6,27,0,2,1,1,75,11,0,8,13,214,56,3,0.08946126986999144,0.10599697598083348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742051753112741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233168293742232,0.0,0.0,0.060836731269255186,0.0,0.06843762658427982,0.0,0.0,0.06255339997122901,0.0,0.14723800501760692,0.07963949707492728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090695195265209,0.0,0.0,0.10079221593452144,0.0,0.07912122320702444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003384212053752,0.21428263338421705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223064100478336,0.07705286065014075,0.09080130577310457,0.0,0.0,0.10253036583195338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473341155695769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977296392374063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751028820465427,0.25300837015290784,0.0,0.04523430605666599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046739821129323636,0.08581940185853365,0.05084290130288932,0.0,0.07155034995756507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013972581932123,0.0,0.09181307246359356,0.0950931464742224,0.0,0.0,0.059964003431220235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337432297666927,0.08877650624557155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833114861243816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148020962854134,0.12637828118648325,0.08741251519038203,0.08966369472860537,0.0,0.07917040865295566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807422888588406,0.08465041663399818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19489909871673497,0.0,0.09012281759108122,0.1803118370274356,0.09490426988481213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326687960979283,0.06899804643608469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062127173976825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993361531631207,0.0,0.0,0.062021180303483636,0.07811413016843723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573111802654529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019630814205144,0.14228638502613328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021315416300378,0.0,0.1480065738074227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695896684033785,0.10014456731741404,0.0,0.0,0.14288777136001704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785610908611317,0.1015195888844544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438111599776506,0.07819309303145712,0.0,0.0,0.1038714295458329,0.1188681850654661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096815427854514,0.0,0.12147665969948175,0.0,0.0,0.18626467391159324,0.10761089257796937,0.0772658135711756,0.0,0.0738149167848577,0.10553314966179797,0.14202038388689256,0.0,0.0,0.0804364254797184,0.0,0.0,0.09988031296371423,0.0,0.0,0.09701693101173,0.06512886994393552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ObviousThrowaway4556,2018/04/03,"My cousin won't help herself She suffers from depression, multiple eating disorders, PTSD, BPD, and anxiety. She's been on medication and going to a few different therapists for the past 5 years and she's only gotten worse. Now she's refusing help and won't even help herself. All she wants to do is get high and sleep all day.

Her and I grew up as brother and sister together. All I want is for her to be happy and herself again. I don't know what to do.",2.060350241545894,4.248989358695649,4.044492753623191,84.27248792270532,79.32608695652175,8.001932367149758,25.439613526570053,8.841846274778883,2.1416555555555554,359,14,72,9,9,122,60,92,0.217,0.731,0.052000000000000005,-0.9334,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,9,3,1,0,3,15,15,9,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,8,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,2,0,14,1,10,10,4,10,0,2,0,0,17,3,0,0,5,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789454398221187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25995210758857296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311017374820724,0.0,0.17777101431032796,0.0,0.0,0.2156428530212451,0.23655094668470364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111975359254872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632448404949324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783487258922403,0.0,0.11730121450173593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21971539803094128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41503436558224144,0.2180717014610692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343140202479166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079251121955835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697561485002953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703104270425426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412691932006085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654789396077813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396449558449035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434787612094607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103380462048332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329140828110005
mentalhealth,Gurenno_yumiya,2018/04/03,Nothing feels real? some days I feel like nothing is real. Everything feels more like a video game than real life. Going to the grocery store is a challenge. I feel really out of it a lot as well. My friends have noticed that I’m very distant. Trying to talk to people feels like a chore. It feels like I’m experiencing life in the third person. I feel like a zombie. Anyone else like this? What could it be?,0.8010774410774388,3.3376205555555565,2.4324354657688008,90.73868686868687,90.35802469135805,4.426936026936027,18.47474747474748,6.11248444174946,-0.02935555555555513,319,9,63,3,11,104,52,81,0.0,0.738,0.262,0.9586,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,9,0,0,7,0,5,2,0,0,0,14,15,1,0,1,0,0,7,6,1,0,2,0,1,1,6,1,0,0,7,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,8,4,9,8,13,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,7,35,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844297100158148,0.12960134742057308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098994213615654,0.0,0.0,0.08157394579930098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566403991184048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367877050552452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476910119163006,0.4518133232170167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772389560897876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718857367886627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868366329163168,0.37077229453782296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753511281330186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24273625299381185,0.14400680828989712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769047651427105,0.11044396871278678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319112535098085,0.08103110393064494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166582677725912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587668053304666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436539896616356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372741448819175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RealDembaBa,2018/04/03,"What can I do? Hi, I'm a male in my early 20s and I give up. I cannot connect with people on a serious level whatsoever. The only person I feel like I Can, I'm terrified she'll go away. I have extremely strong feelings for her and I know she doesn't feel the same way. One half of me is telling me to just cut my losses and get away from her, but the other half of me tells me that I need to remember that she's the only person I can talk to.

Another problem is that she struggles severely with her own mental health problems and has nearly killed herself twice and has been taken advantage of about 6 months after. I know I'm not the only person she can talk to, but I gave her a home when she was 16 and she's like a sister also. 

She is able to meet this lad and that lad with no hassle yet she doesn't notice the person who's been there through it all, meanwhile I can't connect with people because I don't like the thought of anyone else knowing how I feel. I'm incredibly lonely and I'm really struggling.

I can't talk to a doctor ( i live in the UK btw) or anyone because all they want to do is prescribe me medication which I refuse to take, it only prolongs the problem, it doesn't help cure it. 

I don't know what to do. I don't want to carry on because it's killing me inside but I feel I have to because if anything happened to her, I would be dead. I feel like I'm stuck in a catch 22.

I'm sorry for the long read, me and my friend haven't been talking much lately because I don't like her boyfriend for accusing her of making up that she was raped or because he's cheating on her and she doesn't like to accept that when it comes to the relationships she's been in since we've known each other, I've been right about every single one of them.",3.3258620689655167,3.729043952254642,4.845576657824932,87.18131989389923,72.342175066313,7.411310344827587,25.69007957559682,7.24861992348623,1.0355802440318298,1378,40,306,13,25,465,168,377,0.202,0.721,0.076,-0.9947,0,2,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,2,3,9,23,5,2,17,0,37,4,0,2,2,51,68,20,3,8,8,1,6,6,1,2,3,0,1,5,19,16,0,1,14,1,0,3,14,13,0,5,11,6,57,10,44,54,7,26,0,2,0,1,45,14,0,3,14,210,76,2,0.08682930432494135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943736329809197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104809637121176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142613693176588,0.08896688329336241,0.07145311912322543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315797931839388,0.0,0.0,0.3175820279761133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747957572839018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887347224923277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253474207051057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315743381095091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634210311722349,0.1240617447181069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708410513204753,0.0,0.045364727762406784,0.08329458068042253,0.049347094629967565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678286705636446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229549017609168,0.0,0.0,0.058199852405825765,0.0,0.08709687186665363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212752080766235,0.0,0.19087645949801996,0.0,0.09794723729682113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25452247305356623,0.0,0.0766718665055223,0.07684120196871194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057959234877496275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747138920126216,0.08750351628921008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930632231228429,0.0,0.06382952938663496,0.06438282894682383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885573847469986,0.0,0.0,0.11767556754127725,0.2641503944696877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039301357982735,0.30326399749657235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24925175305583286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685280156783479,0.0,0.05562507574196431,0.0,0.0,0.0932221778849695,0.09836067543887156,0.07415175146624133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980923989083198,0.0,0.07182609780686443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971982973719234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154568308719912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528483081210314,0.2791604231231877,0.15178527827301208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893276870659266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242834672110512,0.0689210602016976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168104653799246,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chillwinstonnn,2018/04/03,"Sex & Meds! Hi guys and gals. I'm a final year student psychiatric nurse and I'm currently doing my dissertation on the effects of antipsychotic and antidepressant medication on sexual function. 

Please let me know of your experiences, and / or whether your health care providers have helped you with any sexual issues you may have experienced due to the medicine. 


Thanks x",5.661116071428572,9.076124843750002,5.675714285714289,70.65500000000002,74.0,9.907142857142855,31.017857142857146,9.957137785484203,4.0618107142857145,306,14,48,10,7,96,52,64,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.8268,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,1,0,10,10,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,6,8,0,6,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,2,4,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28409691780604673,0.0,0.17830707955924796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673335057324009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564849161947921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872306478196457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596222637294069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787096032308901,0.0,0.0,0.1757491914412729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27367188355508953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409995058076774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681204048281324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29124850235281274,0.2641420088004877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878202337773955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414013596193445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885018101395924
mentalhealth,awryturtleshell,2018/04/03,"What can I be institutionalized/reported on for? (USA) (F/16) Overall, I’m a fairly high-achieving and functional person who hides their mental illness. Because of this, one of my greatest fears is being institutionalized/my mom finding out how bad things are. With my therapist, I’m fairly open, but I’ve been hiding these weird panic attacks I’ve had lately. I’m worried that my therapist will have to report them to my mom as a threat to myself/institutionalize me.

Can anyone say if my fears are realistic or not? I’m sorry if this is a weird question.

Lately I’ve been having some very strange panic attacks. Symptoms include: 

-hallucinations of people/lights/buildings 

-feeling like my mind is being read by “them”

-“knowing” that I’m in a simulation 

-being unable to be around technology, because it’s “their” way of reading my mind

-whenever I touch something, I have a freak out because it somehow connects me to “them”

They last anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours, usually when driving. They’re insanely inconveniencing, but the problem is just if it would get me in trouble. Does anyone know if my therapist could report me for these?",4.522919254658382,7.443879304347828,5.526749482401653,72.99521739130438,74.79710144927536,7.034644582470668,30.630089717046236,8.11559375814309,2.704032160110421,924,43,143,16,21,303,128,207,0.248,0.7120000000000001,0.04,-0.9932,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,6,0,5,14,3,4,6,0,22,2,0,1,0,28,31,11,0,7,9,2,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,1,12,6,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,13,0,2,3,3,21,1,22,20,2,15,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,8,7,100,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232013095759612,0.0,0.0,0.10332846496389493,0.0,0.2640967415676717,0.0,0.0,0.09691506182661644,0.21226878196672605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926738464758712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157516946252884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26122597426129746,0.058689363697825465,0.08292168044836651,0.0,0.0,0.1060874754753962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060642697999916326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122636175260368,0.0,0.0,0.11430729157534915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275799950707956,0.09461396706314916,0.2618679764783905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056706793393971035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697302230158466,0.0,0.23439875565894766,0.2718836584096345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865322086522128,0.0,0.0,0.2723703760384444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134937385027258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106498765354628,0.0,0.0,0.13002692278785793,0.0,0.23220631868486846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230491332824317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935770288550801,0.0,0.12993281971188647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064298995607728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043047393360028,0.07711291222936198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133852325744586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783663267656215,0.09577134867691472,0.0,0.0921323514060444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787649504008099,0.0,0.08245404000025706,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Supercst,2018/04/03,"Resources for supporters(?) of those with mental health issues So my girlfriend struggles with depression and anxiety as a result of PTSD. For the court case to be settled stemming out of this event, she has had to relive this event in excruciating detail to therapists and lawyers, as well as visit the exact place where it happened (far away, so I can’t be there with her). This is very mentally taxing on her, and she tends to downplay it around others and sometimes her own therapist. A lot of the time the only way she can vent is to me, and although it sucks to admit, it is hard at times not to be affected by her negativity or feel despairing as though it will never resolve. I want to be strong and supportive for her. Are there any resources to help me out that would include tips or advice or something similar? I’d really appreciate it. From the US, if that helps",6.532831325301206,6.963436620481932,6.877975903614459,75.31732530120482,65.32530120481928,10.013493975903614,32.86506024096386,9.888512548439397,3.1599778313253024,693,27,126,14,10,225,109,166,0.142,0.7559999999999999,0.102,-0.8221,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,8,9,1,1,7,0,14,1,0,2,2,27,22,18,0,3,5,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,4,1,0,1,2,14,5,32,15,2,17,0,2,0,0,14,10,1,5,5,103,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636704927118675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881724822196773,0.0,0.1224127931328795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142449318703857,0.0,0.0,0.15034151664562767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782266220828976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090955262752968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150276601705916,0.0,0.14334406624059698,0.0,0.0,0.1700909024565363,0.0,0.0,0.2145124404162585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670164827880109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604098243033935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32251959495215765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341520310544135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170036394486218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718401593691234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705165543864594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025111770262288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318913187600378,0.15826119696127908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728482082101254,0.0,0.0,0.3631714614691868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715848270030801,0.0,0.0,0.15721618045616328,0.0,0.18661474375658896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248110417402048,0.0,0.0,0.1320310272212311,0.09438234683885356,0.12701428104018794,0.0,0.0,0.14387476603197666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367169566025505,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SilentTears0,2018/04/03,"This unhealthy obsession of mine is rotting me away. I have an obsession to look asian, especially Korean. I'm Indian and every time I look at pretty Korean girls I always feel like shit even when I realize that not all Koreans look like that. I literally am not proud of myself for anything, I have zero self esteem and I am insecure. Even meeting nice people online and sending pics of how we look like is just something I am so scared of doing because that's how much I feel about my appearance. I'm so scared that my ugliness will make them stop talking to me or just not find me a little bit attractive at all. I literally hate almost every single part of my body especially my nose because its wide and big and makes me look like a cow. Nobody has found me the least bit attractive at all. I know this is probably a lighter topic compared to what other people have posted here but it is actually making me depressed to the point where I cover up my body and barely talk to everyone because I'm so ashamed of my appearance.",6.183358208955222,6.449496054726374,7.321604477611943,72.40389925373138,66.06467661691542,10.680099502487565,32.17288557213931,10.504223727775694,3.443560199004976,821,31,148,20,12,279,115,201,0.156,0.773,0.07,-0.958,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,1,13,17,2,6,6,0,13,4,4,5,3,32,31,14,0,0,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,7,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,9,0,1,1,8,28,8,18,29,9,17,0,1,5,0,8,10,1,4,7,106,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.11435999967595607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734830748422614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751101132320766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964369332220306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010334712634684,0.0,0.0,0.2143128053768508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558810580104381,0.2603421238215961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093510267536528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480505467197966,0.0,0.19747433410023335,0.11197954274972867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185090154409508,0.08372016741603522,0.0,0.0,0.10710903541173547,0.0,0.0,0.12849218456990294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570032134031602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644042576592185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290113857268457,0.11745461696454045,0.0,0.0,0.4920481208240167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23467460617814884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614773068810284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269047557167414,0.0,0.16248881999082612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078191044574462,0.0,0.11223510017797897,0.11922380232859785,0.1263500492537176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346541692096381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222541557635132,0.0,0.12029328768993773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021816496043326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797562867342102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18838488377629148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833411145890399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beachteacher11,2018/04/03,Do I inform my husband's therapist that he threatened suicide? My husband told me the other night that he had recently contemplated suicide.  I am unsure if this was because he needed to get that off his chest or as a manipulation.  The way he framed it was that I make him want to kill himself and that if I don't change the way I treat him he will probably end up that way.  Should I contact his former therapist? He is not currently in treatment. ,4.903901515151514,5.9017349204545475,6.086818181818181,77.54606060606064,69.11363636363636,9.048484848484847,32.84848484848485,9.2995712137729,2.98499393939394,355,16,67,7,6,119,59,88,0.221,0.738,0.042,-0.9599,1,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,9,1,1,2,0,11,14,5,3,5,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,14,1,6,8,0,11,0,0,0,0,16,3,0,3,5,47,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217447820370354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120183170352617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775130774260993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047114406041008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217355914580864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337822418359884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860926322533846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808106491695606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160871998960722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19789106749633534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4384550007569628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465407302062943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915103791518263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821320520247093,0.4772533986853689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zeebopbiddlywop,2018/04/03,"Struggling with losing 2 in a week Last week, my long term (3 years) FWB ""dumped"" me out of the blue and did something vicious as he left my house. I blocked him after. Today, I got into it with a friend and wound up blocking him as well. I have tried to rid toxic people from my life because I don't need the negativity. I am really struggling though, especially with losing the FWB. I have issues with hypersexuality and my FWB was my regular and consistent partner. We had a good thing and spent a lot of time together. I feel like I'm going to go off the deep end. I've worked so hard to not be picking up random people. I'm also having problems with my daughter that's adding to my stress.  I feel like I'm losing it over here.",2.828064876957491,4.349179630872484,4.616258389261748,84.08174776286356,74.83892617449666,6.845861297539152,23.826062639821032,7.492282038375204,1.0002612975391494,571,17,118,7,12,194,98,149,0.16899999999999998,0.659,0.171,0.5174,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,4,5,14,2,3,8,0,9,2,0,1,0,23,19,10,0,2,1,1,3,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,4,13,0,2,2,0,1,2,3,9,1,0,5,4,19,5,22,13,2,21,0,3,1,0,7,9,0,2,12,75,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935618362704226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098218655240667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219232169704975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093184934093462,0.21325026873640648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531115800326605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964586811369553,0.12518488087862714,0.11936987191267988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369981854516716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221592229278476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577954517718925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216597022234583,0.0,0.0,0.16216193738871534,0.0,0.10542058317480048,0.14583325934854974,0.0,0.0,0.1320826738902431,0.0,0.5009219695210011,0.0,0.12688808921545278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066792270346347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694407093999945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281330489359964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956141829006986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149009164489136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709668211215931,0.3120596586340709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915590932939364,0.0,0.1466386112144501,0.0,0.08702961354616062,0.0,0.14147274882942873,0.0,0.0,0.10133181261382618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394407260357046,0.0,0.13419481263644906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865669934019903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611292201358283
mentalhealth,narfuul,2018/04/03,"Starting therapy How do you start a conversion with a therapist (counselor, psychiatrist, etc)? 
I had an opportunity to start going to a psychiatrist which started with a few visits to a counselor. Then I had to start working out of town and I never got another chance to see the psychiatrist. 
The two sessions I had with the counselor were not great. As soon as I was in that environment, I crumpled into a pile of nerves and pretty much just cried and couldn't even look her in the face. 

I had no idea how to even talk to this woman even though I asked for the opportunity to be there. 
I'm doing a little better now, but I'm sure I could still benefit from talking through stuff. ",5.171515151515153,6.2358173636363645,6.2209090909090925,76.58469696969699,68.54545454545455,9.2,30.57575757575757,9.444778638647367,2.701584848484849,540,21,103,11,9,180,83,132,0.065,0.818,0.117,0.8194,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,4,11,6,0,0,13,0,11,1,1,2,2,18,23,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,7,2,11,6,22,13,3,18,0,0,2,0,8,6,0,0,10,84,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418659070096822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638010074272112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384812804844642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501548153515268,0.0,0.17199452913438715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462682251180367,0.3102565877557413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898737646594246,0.0,0.12523042086077696,0.17262874973717895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675847800217154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693315593082247,0.0,0.0,0.1314868099123867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510348083842513,0.0,0.1207632722815038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929699525688296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477308184424908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5541366273217453,0.0,0.125044082620741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924533749743365,0.0,0.0,0.1475737257768138,0.0,0.0,0.25170431869527904,0.0,0.0,0.17906157635037484,0.18180012879251975,0.0,0.0,0.15383793835565626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529547978022239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399127744452772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AdvancedTicket,2018/04/03,First counsel visit tomorrow. I finally decided to go talk to someone after a little push from my family. I haven't done this before and I'm not really sure what I should expect. Anyone wanna share their first experiences with me?,3.2434883720930223,6.19258869767442,5.601209302325582,70.22227906976744,80.62790697674419,9.021395348837208,22.55348837209302,9.3871,2.9433851162790705,186,6,28,6,5,65,38,43,0.055,0.889,0.056,0.0055,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,6,2,6,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002688423902325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24371906125062395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29310317882407017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801699687633685,0.27000767040036977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137549093389775,0.0,0.4872508880321119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277690728839264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28706424200743863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348552969237888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426794875302491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26994384634059554,0.0,0.0,0.2302104645372385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spaghiggity,2018/04/03,"Freaking out at an old picture of my mother... am I ok? I was watching a YouTube video about the host interviewing a schizophrenic man after spending almost all day loading around the house. I always get paranoid that I have schizophrenia every time I read or watch a video about it, so I was kind of on edge at the time of watching it. I looked up at a picture of my parents and me when I was five years old, and my mother’s face caught my eye. It looked like she was staring straight into my soul through the picture, so I freaked out and instinctively left the room. I’m going to remove the picture from my room because it scared me so much. This happened a few minutes ago as of the making of this post, and I’m still getting chills just thinking about her face in the picture. I’m a 16 year old male, and my parents are still alive. Am I ok?",4.604306220095694,5.093237713450293,4.894949494949497,87.65636363636366,69.52631578947367,6.9199362041467305,31.33492822966507,6.11248444174946,1.4726210526315784,663,27,138,3,11,209,98,171,0.064,0.8640000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.1346,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,15,2,8,4,3,1,1,15,20,11,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,7,9,0,0,1,3,1,3,0,3,0,1,5,7,21,4,24,15,3,31,1,0,7,0,9,14,0,2,14,92,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313910997045573,0.0,0.16169531683131466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436132321352284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374825538717548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843453138022698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413893706907927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605085451565718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872953725781797,0.0,0.09177077492386168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279307147617268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18632211699308124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681528504872714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754446108565817,0.0,0.0,0.07888922594400917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27119906029692675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778676918239148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187037538635482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5083270419296274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586009263880047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464978125323256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152012522634354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616660736297434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579105670373525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346757455312064,0.0,0.0,0.1883164067657147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079710500811452
mentalhealth,buckybear1985,2018/04/04,Therapy doesn't help. I've been to therapy several times. It doesn't feel like it benefits me in the slightest. It just dredges up stuff I don't want to think about and I spend all of my sessions crying. It never gets any better. Does talk therapy not work for some people or have I just not found the right therapist yet?,1.1826538461538476,3.7152516307692345,2.646442307692311,90.56043269230771,86.53846153846153,6.9423076923076925,21.971153846153847,8.07648339933343,1.3991923076923078,256,9,53,6,8,83,49,65,0.16899999999999998,0.792,0.04,-0.7576,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,2,13,10,2,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,2,1,5,3,7,8,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,4,34,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335444177079618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368121957044644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157130514319321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718525394139808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929509585295554,0.14029315858324384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153193786270444,0.0,0.0,0.10259989427874193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316286683158375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594083375241512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514595498813467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614443505407348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677065472731556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22185231244530765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248069104355451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157841958455348,0.0,0.0,0.6737293195861663,0.2280110927360424,0.0,0.12583169945173486,0.0,0.0,0.11451014291346105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582939062008996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296621187857794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gracie_lou558,2018/04/04,My college health center keeps canceling my appointments My college health center keeps canceling my appointments because someone showed up with an emergency. This has happened several times. Is it wrong if next time I claim to be having an emergency to make sure I get seen? I have a very full schedule so each time they reschedule me it's weeks out. Having the people that are supposed to be there for me continue to cancel makes me feel worthless and is deteriorating my mental state. Is there anything else I can do to make sure I get seen? At this point I feel there is nothing left to do but take matters into my own hands ,4.6671186440677985,6.905397745762715,4.912000000000003,80.86308474576272,71.54237288135593,7.770847457627119,29.59661016949153,8.548686976883017,2.41567186440678,506,21,89,9,10,159,77,118,0.08199999999999999,0.88,0.038,-0.6136,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,14,3,1,3,2,17,27,4,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,16,2,12,23,3,17,0,1,2,0,1,9,0,1,7,61,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186635386927227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509036068269599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401385849434056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743361320142463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801384908285383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244828388988846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664955380682145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30646510314404524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730761630320564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452249009987789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373356067608908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18334398383780914,0.0,0.0,0.1654176029009658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951695095667435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296894959761882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947572218843865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606968068421475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249603980865885,0.0,0.12961954668924908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015746430442236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224388742810348,0.0,0.0,0.13828482923261412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884868135116122,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Susccmmp,2018/04/04,"I want to be hospitalized But I have no idea how to go about it. I have good insurance, I'm seeing a new therapist next Friday that's part of the county healthcare system and I plan to ask them for recommendations. I don't know how to identify if I'm suicidal or not because I have an idea of guilt surrounding the idea of killing myself but I also don't feel like I'm living much of a life and possibly never will. ",5.189655172413794,4.8692452068965535,6.929333333333336,76.37400000000002,68.19540229885058,10.63816091954023,30.043678160919534,10.355215969177356,2.860027126436781,331,11,69,8,5,116,59,87,0.142,0.8190000000000001,0.039,-0.8001,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,1,1,5,0,7,1,0,2,1,16,16,9,2,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,2,9,2,10,14,2,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,4,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288524213556368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872593219708427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654053605259712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666550836009263,0.13657783778138827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865105114664504,0.16035131354940835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6474511957783339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21151049769477734,0.0,0.10506661090750173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350349089169441,0.09340007567848373,0.0,0.16881396871825766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053807045900474,0.0,0.14744851454650562,0.18464122327348784,0.20332032376395906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702750215294094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155248429974793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234437777107074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911806448627565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197277722264988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276193281400078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,faithpip,2018/04/04,"I think I may have bipolar disorder For nearly two years things have been more difficult. I’m almost 16 and things seem to be such a struggle now. I’m not sure whether I’m just having long and sudden mood swings or whether there’s something else wrong, but I’m starting to suspect I have bipolar disorder. 

Once every one or two months there would be a week where I felt horrible - I loathed myself, I was unmotivated, I was quiet and didn’t interact with anyone and even getting out of bed was a challenge. My thoughts have been negative and even suicidal at their worst. 

Usually after this week (but not always right away) I’d enter a period where I felt like my body was filled with adrenaline. I would be incredibly talkative and social despite being a natural introvert and would smile and laugh at everything. I find myself speaking quickly and never really thinking before saying anything. I also seem to be more impulsive during this period. After this ends I find myself strongly regretting nearly everything I said and did as, looking back, I can tell that none of it mwas thought through. 

Some days will feel like a mixture - I’ll be happy and energetic and smiley, but the smallest thing can set off a stream of sudden negative thoughts and leave an unsettled feeling in my stomach even once it passes. 

I’ve looked online and these seem fairly like the symptoms of bipolar disorder. I wouldn’t really care if it wasn’t effecting my daily life, but it is. During my down times I get no work done, skip school and feel unmotivated, during my up times I leave regrets about spent money, rushed work and things said I didn’t necessarily mean. 

Can anyone who is bipolar relate to what I’m going through, or am I looking in the totally wrong direction? ",8.525628710199676,8.050467718654435,8.366810577441985,69.33686454398274,61.41590214067278,11.486166576722429,37.278107573304545,10.843485225782073,4.1456977513941355,1412,59,237,31,17,456,182,327,0.21,0.68,0.11,-0.9882,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,5,14,17,0,1,11,0,34,8,2,1,3,63,64,28,1,7,13,0,5,3,0,6,6,5,1,0,15,19,0,0,18,0,2,5,11,7,0,3,19,13,29,9,28,33,6,41,0,2,3,0,9,14,0,11,24,171,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007129243922478,0.0,0.0,0.07193247193792307,0.07484507450708472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578937005251556,0.0,0.07402066037766329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845103861330741,0.06916550679325162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654028159999404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999134630558514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170936891627084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800989687811727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092692835686158,0.0,0.0,0.09204942662231064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514114952943297,0.0,0.07966843595296992,0.0,0.0,0.17823211492382615,0.0,0.07578621659444973,0.0,0.16168137239508518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644329963473875,0.06425984186780187,0.1727309860731763,0.0,0.16442417378283036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398965777925823,0.0,0.05112029505569828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575276797714387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19048677244898954,0.0,0.0,0.06353389418512477,0.13183414361443302,0.0,0.0,0.07960235443505866,0.2266044281424428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798122429259323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179672222643325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937449283365296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158626885350746,0.060952015297610615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152477285946611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681626329322068,0.17112488207115314,0.07153134261174891,0.0,0.09103355606113588,0.0,0.2456595614944197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169204651537076,0.0,0.06924741305343242,0.0,0.0,0.06366662107562814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403460279776972,0.0,0.09839000216929834,0.0,0.08477620875885353,0.09349182765131786,0.0,0.0,0.07861970667788376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23903343584118605,0.11527183777714176,0.0,0.2142292369010462,0.10490039215293943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573491217210804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906651380302536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430390435554233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096841300789333,0.0,0.0,0.19169233702676267,0.1966910127466515,0.0,0.05792443973591858
mentalhealth,Lynnylyn,2018/04/04,"What is wrong with me..? It took me so long to admit this to myself. It took my entire life. I believe my own lies. I don't know why. I don't know what's wrong with me. When I lie to someone, I become emotionally tied to that lie. I will create memories that never happened, and get rid of memories that did happen. If it helps, I have an abusive past and have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, and Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Like a said, it took ages to realize or to even admit to myself that I was doing this.. it scares me. A lot. Does anyone know what could cause this?",2.2922499999999992,4.612875725000002,4.141666666666668,83.18000000000002,79.25,8.0,24.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.062416666666667,477,17,92,12,12,161,74,120,0.189,0.722,0.08900000000000001,-0.9291,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,3,0,11,3,0,1,1,18,23,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,15,6,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,7,1,16,1,11,14,2,8,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,6,67,31,0,0.0,0.1831266357548303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823688552860878,0.0,0.0,0.10807094811675393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069780115877484,0.0,0.17413458491212866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877422989691986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340244423398433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331210727058618,0.15687369846646387,0.0,0.0,0.17713751532791588,0.0,0.1352552490461348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385759194657094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208447998762056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075047537906434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733512718622333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359735372767673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548240494883567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916929116139797,0.07550951185898531,0.0,0.0,0.13677947369529164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314001719522495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920509996229035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754364688136315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470205967648646,0.0,0.15474009483379553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095697759503852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51516078564914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946507235446004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33797107378311514,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GigiFranco,2018/04/04,"Frequent problem: I tend to make friends quickly and on the 1st few days everything goes fine until suddenly I begin to feel weird to reply and anxious. How do I deal? I don't know if I've asked on the right place, but I don't know why I do this nor how to stop! The early moments of all my friendships tend to go smoothly but suddenly I feel weird and overwhelmed, and I end up disappearing. It hurts people and I don't like that.",3.927003745318356,4.60083430337079,4.911853932584272,86.26680711610489,71.13483146067415,7.7310861423220985,29.44007490636704,7.793537801064563,1.7238973782771536,339,13,72,4,6,111,56,89,0.155,0.728,0.117,-0.5228,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,3,0,5,0,0,3,1,18,15,12,0,2,3,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,0,3,10,3,10,15,2,18,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,1,12,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923502804253516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419264685329665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689314122396107,0.2667931342542277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292042607923808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325767978273688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616961599138626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19993452261033914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707191498834649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770317483891862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844399111545809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642793461382218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273915979475246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940702680852896,0.0,0.2703723698181804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24761966171129696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220998625545368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635354655153904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23351072751562865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheeBlazingOne,2018/04/04,"I can't tell if I'm too emotionally invested in my friends, all I know is that I get depressed and it's a problem **TL;DR Version:**
My emotional state snowballs. First I miss my friends. Then I realize I've never spent ""true"" 1 on 1 time with any of them. Then I feel like they don't care about me. Then I ""realize"" that I'm boring to all of my friends because they don't hold full conversations with me and I'm only with anyone of them if it's a whole group scenario. I've tried multiple times to hang out 1 on 1 but all rejections, no efforted re-arrangements on their ends. Therefore, I just vanish from the face of the Earth.

Depressed self sees all these ""problems"" with them.

Sane self sees everything as fine and is happy having occasional friends but that's because I'm not emotionally attached at the moment.",1.8518518518518512,4.358533691358026,3.361975308641977,86.98888888888894,82.45679012345678,6.809876543209876,26.28395061728395,7.984000788550335,1.8204172839506167,646,28,129,13,18,212,96,162,0.126,0.745,0.129,0.1119,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,6,2,3,16,0,0,5,0,6,1,1,1,6,28,18,11,0,4,6,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,4,0,2,1,6,7,0,1,1,3,20,9,19,17,7,18,0,4,2,0,15,7,0,2,10,78,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818316772139732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095366455072237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602508723831586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720475763359622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24870810060926035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4872232914439342,0.12787758703488306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297591921007274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300272985848456,0.10314490830657913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280932499371774,0.0,0.0,0.4461896864917503,0.0,0.0754324501245459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369490783095655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934732401814378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053664341285659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135454887771787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980729103330958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763038063303515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301039045788916,0.0,0.30123909388911696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619424823769582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837796383312587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980243596645766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611948129885459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rayray131131,2018/04/04,Need help asking new doctor for medication depression anxiety anger I currently take klonopin on a as needed basis and get 15 1mg pills every three months. Problem is my depression anger ect is getting out of control to the point I need klonopin or alcohol to be normal. I was on celexa for a year and that helped but stopped helping and I was on the highest dose. I’m super healthy athletic exercise daily but still can’t beat this. I’ve tried Effexor Prozac Paxil Wellbutrin and buspirone but to be fair only gave buspirone two weeks as it caused heavy flushing. I asked him to put me on lyrica and he said that’s not for this. Any ideas on the next route medication wise? Was thinking gabapentin but I doubt he will prescribe this either. Some points it feels like I’m going to jump out of my skin and that can be right after working out or first thing in the morning. I’m super anti social from the anxiety as well. Any help is appreciated I see my doctor next week and want to specifically ask for something ,5.130918367346942,6.5052000510204095,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714288,68.89795918367346,8.253061224489796,30.3265306122449,8.634040054169528,2.3475346938775505,814,32,151,13,14,259,126,196,0.104,0.71,0.18600000000000005,0.9724,1,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,6,2,11,2,1,7,0,12,10,1,2,0,32,31,16,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,1,9,1,0,0,9,10,1,2,3,1,0,3,2,6,1,3,5,4,12,5,26,22,2,27,0,2,1,0,13,12,0,4,13,87,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785138142762625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270919568671768,0.0,0.18303795986263927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355223458952786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289612919507276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417867355944135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060795956682344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448990564968071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007960309336522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049008060075098,0.08546589735913691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175983804707574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500669486719462,0.0,0.06799023718712667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207501312083191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505118727489027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844668074223022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24103548723493284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548998432256346,0.0,0.0,0.2661192422996941,0.0,0.11554237563649465,0.2544622788603701,0.0,0.11721501940521747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098634938763236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261838617774109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144727022374133,0.0,0.12026428983096055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216599797486256,0.1137984562487367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533207704360223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195086088530314,0.0,0.09209939091642616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955391334577065,0.10001861298590392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994918880068717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947890353913603,0.07665604808153627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122300944692823,0.0,0.11686413730224207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705626910811483,0.0,0.1919248837173549,0.0,0.10756450766392248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709430818744522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703978218994131
mentalhealth,parentingMI,2018/04/04,"Parenting Mental Illness - A new Discord chat for parents and caregivers Hi all. I run a peer support Discord for people living with mental illness. This new Discord is a project that my mother came up with, because she knows how difficult it can be to wade through the muddy waters of your child's battle with mental illness, with little to no guidance. What I'd like to create is a space for people to bounce ideas off of each other, offer suggestions and support, and generally find compatriots to chat with. I hope some of you will join us and help make ""Parenting Mental Illness"" a supportive place to hang out. 

You will be directed to Discord or to download Discord when you click on this link: https://discord.gg/z8bBZS7
",9.086945054945057,9.110593892307698,8.263626373626376,68.89423076923079,60.07692307692307,10.197802197802199,39.34065934065934,9.606745405546679,3.99968131868132,586,27,90,9,7,183,85,130,0.206,0.6629999999999999,0.131,-0.8839,3,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,4,0,0,2,7,1,0,6,0,7,5,0,2,1,23,14,7,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,6,12,1,0,4,2,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,1,9,5,24,9,3,13,0,0,1,0,17,7,0,3,4,63,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210502421003486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540480716711996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310309591809306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027904358291064,0.0,0.0,0.1337763395488895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520472272417567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740214257151986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658021297528612,0.13499353180268198,0.11893265174573332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990580001907136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5429384051111972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601665072176803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4486678200726782,0.0,0.0,0.1867524687908523,0.0,0.1407210978705604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585296610456313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201400682303835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Desolatebluebird,2018/04/04,"Dismissive avoidant ex, clues? I'm hoping to gain some insight into my situation. I recently separated from my husband after a 5 year tumultuous relationship. In the beginning things were great but after we got married, they went downhill. Communication was always a big problem with his inability to share his feelings and completely avoiding conflict or any form confrontation. I recently stumbled upon an article about dismissive avoidant attachment stype and it describes him to a t. 

Here are some patterns of behavior that I've observed over the years:

-Childhood trauma from his parents frequently arguing and blaming him for things. When he was older, his father held him to his own standards and scrutinized when he did things his way (such as going to different college)
- he does not have a close relationship with his family. They will have superficial conversations but never about personal things (he never wanted their involvement in our marriage). 
- inability to talk about his feelings. This was very common, when he was upset about something, he would completely ignore me and just angrily pace around the house. When I asked him what was wrong, he always said nothing. I could never have an open communication with him.
-frequent drinking. He would drink hard liquor almost daily and when I brought it up as a concern, he would deny it. His family also drinks a lot. 
-getting upset over the most mundane and insignificant things on weekly basis. I can say the grass is green and he would find something in that statement to piss him off.
He punched a wall couple times without provocation
-He kept a journal but instead of a normal blog type entry, it would be really hateful and completely irrational thoughts, for example saying that I betrayed him or I cause him a lot of pain, again zero communication during this period from him about his feelings. (He left a journal open one day and I saw some of it).
-Refusing to see a psychiatrist or even a marriage counselor. 
- whenever we would hit a wall and I would sit down with him with tears in my eyes telling him how his behavior is affecting me, he would turn it around and blame me for it. He never acknowledged his issues. 
-he has always been very insecure and accused me of cheating which I never did. 

Anyways, those are some of the things I've noticed throughout the years with him. I'm not here to blame anyone but it would help me make sense of pain and grief I'm going through now trying to understand what went wrong. ",6.6525501060264025,8.67350812189617,6.5064026267186525,72.32496956016146,65.97516930022573,9.613489294753405,34.191736780901564,9.946784424281523,3.7834610985703536,2010,92,316,47,33,633,233,443,0.232,0.736,0.031,-0.9987,2,3,5,0,0,0,54.0,3,0,3,1,23,22,5,6,23,0,30,8,2,5,5,89,58,30,1,14,11,4,4,0,0,10,2,3,0,1,23,28,4,8,9,5,0,5,8,19,0,2,18,11,49,3,54,27,9,57,0,1,4,0,67,21,1,12,29,234,72,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485384978172804,0.0,0.0,0.05977956242276392,0.18660025227802032,0.0,0.0,0.05083427628103111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226869935502748,0.0,0.0,0.13309118069711787,0.06988351440009237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767914285238103,0.0,0.0,0.2351297817800971,0.0,0.0,0.059683803739496714,0.08271224043822481,0.0,0.04820919062195149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810047207381614,0.0,0.0,0.06541643310970274,0.0,0.0,0.2196870300642144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04937333377997877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094004418529155,0.0,0.11339135897792772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832244809371063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039055105871783666,0.0,0.08496715842017705,0.0,0.059786418202673025,0.08241491607750501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696357411701111,0.07380263643316566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050105037758329016,0.0,0.0,0.07424611823797578,0.0,0.08625437044019962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802220850331934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121883059713303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710383692666616,0.0,0.0,0.049897886883474594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882687549286443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324159714001531,0.07172705805005447,0.08510623831765124,0.0,0.0,0.05065424147276956,0.0,0.15908390128315514,0.0,0.08300382596559452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527101623623079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152806511780826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047888377807673736,0.0,0.1476181885677731,0.16051246007532854,0.0,0.0,0.07110676370672199,0.11889240688220458,0.0,0.0,0.05956807938759444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402496334381754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509628238036901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008324318283969,0.06533699644113249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979735121155179,0.0,0.0,0.05934515013450885,0.04358879496238343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075205350473011,0.08130927492649623,0.0,0.07782000854969685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335731375492474,0.044090972466714215,0.05933507012475608,0.05996196172512469,0.0,0.0,0.13859266801997194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205876074902821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779184025739903,0.16346028932013096,0.0,0.14441451410088788
mentalhealth,ThereGoesKira,2018/04/04,"I don't see a point anymore. I'm going to try to not make this come out like word soup as best I can, but to be honest lately its been really hard to formulate my words into sentences and thoughts and paragraphs, so I'm sorry if this gets dumpy.

To  begin with, It's taken all that I have lately not to slice the s\*\*\* out of my wrists... though I have given into and setlled with making lots of little cuts on my thighs.. which for some reason I feel like is tamer...and the only reason I've been resisting the urge to continue to do that is because I'm kinda deployed in a really hot enviornment right now.. and I can't get away with not wearing my shorts outside forever. and being caught with scars on my thighs is not good. I could lose my job if I were to be reported to Mental Health.

As far as why I've even been cutting in the first place, I'm not too sure. I guess just to release some of the pain/tension in my body. I feel crazy sometimes. Just like, my head hurts like I've been drinking \(and I haven't\) and I just want to cry all the time for no reason. 

I work alone, I go back to my dorms and I'm alone. \(My roomate is on opposite schedules so she's either gone alot or sleeping\)...and I just feel really alone in general. Esp since I'm an entire country away from all of my friends who are working so hard and going through so much and doing so well for themselves.

I do draw alot/fairly often and that helps sometimes but lately I just havent been motivated to do so. And I esp havent been able to get myself out of bed to go to the gym. Which is sh\*\*\*y because I know thats supposed to help. A lot of video games have lost their charm on me too, partially because I grew up only being able to watch people play them and partially because I have to get up out of bed and set up elsewhere to play them.

.... However this thing isn't just about or just because I'm out here. It actually started a bit before I left. 

Ironicallly I took this deployment to hopefully get out of this funk. but its just not working.

I have an amazingly sweet boyfriend back home thats been doing all he can to reassure me and be positive and loving, which I really appreciate concidering its only been three\-four months into the relationship and I really dont feel like I deserve him..

But I cant keep the feeling out my head that its all just going to end. 

i'm barely holding onto my job. school is still a process that I keep pushing back on because i feel like I have no idea what i'm doing and it scares me too much to fail, my ex last year cheated on me for an entire year, then imediately got married to the other girl, making me feel even more like shit, and just reminding me even more how much things just.. dont go any way.. and ..yeah. I'm sure its just a lot of really stupid dumb things. 

and a lot of people have it much worse

and I also just dont know what else or how much of it i can or should could even put in here.

I just need something. some days are better than others. as is the way the world goes. 

But im starting to just not feel anything anymore. or mabye its just feeling too much? idk. please help. ",3.001397515527948,4.243946655279505,4.175776397515532,88.53319875776398,73.90683229813665,7.182608695652174,24.322981366459626,7.6729893032291185,1.0229981366459628,2442,72,528,31,49,799,272,644,0.129,0.7390000000000001,0.133,0.8243,3,3,2,0,0,0,93.0,0,0,3,10,45,34,6,1,23,1,52,11,8,9,7,125,107,49,0,8,36,1,12,7,1,1,1,0,4,1,34,37,1,3,17,6,0,13,19,11,1,1,17,15,60,23,81,82,24,73,0,4,2,1,17,35,2,19,29,360,94,10,0.11756008360609953,0.0,0.05736084167680894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263518852461186,0.0,0.04700637819325472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03997244407959427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658801360045284,0.0,0.0,0.048370966019764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104515683892392,0.13559467161329364,0.0,0.21499060743909595,0.0,0.0500174862197488,0.0,0.06168602743190835,0.05198617026536707,0.06417258175157649,0.06529137543131039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050633801272730414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386216080840487,0.0,0.06456711582252439,0.0379082642114359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666931366679836,0.05758206317135905,0.0,0.0,0.049103182436224406,0.0,0.05206167019676766,0.0,0.0,0.15529465297254846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26748859750438125,0.12597742082671934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049998273529875854,0.0,0.0,0.04541331448683818,0.0,0.15355072892667931,0.0,0.20043631405960866,0.04930191026420399,0.04701176908890795,0.0,0.06475284296656839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531074375738902,0.0,0.1206505618647996,0.062480435757969,0.0,0.0,0.11819706897144056,0.0,0.058961174560121385,0.05838184442692401,0.0,0.0,0.06292525046790567,0.06635551246436458,0.06349253185310938,0.0,0.1166602431605726,0.10449280386866212,0.0,0.0,0.06460794748812082,0.04791357933715755,0.19891934229674374,0.0,0.0638646874070947,0.0,0.0,0.2010187153126205,0.058913043957709486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575983142521577,0.06416535922611591,0.19989075818706545,0.053051282653305616,0.0,0.11770840301412187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059236456924096036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691766857288434,0.0,0.25926056426120725,0.043584656197756116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411461156403906,0.06254610877953501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150135977750356,0.0,0.06141263299002565,0.06452283458447787,0.055566138892433135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909017716854972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259359995681513,0.18130701832701915,0.0,0.06310776707991954,0.0,0.05019783453111256,0.0,0.0,0.05884907610605351,0.059488540421347866,0.04684008303936365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603368682189327,0.0486234579956746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045251747913004535,0.11626992868998665,0.06579944440561172,0.08320963225482689,0.0,0.046941817313190914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079898753230702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715254373241027,0.0,0.05775109262892321,0.04666478739723813,0.034275115071932934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530678924141241,0.03990778996099149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03466999159380805,0.09331372239504652,0.0,0.0,0.05285031678017468,0.0,0.05303984507660627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837771149861796,0.0,0.059901884316768225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570483948358514
mentalhealth,pslater1972,2018/04/04,"Anxiety, Depression and Me... I would be really grateful if you could read this and share with your wider networks. [Phill Slater](https://phillslater.blog/2018/01/13/anxiety-depression-and-me/)",12.250256410256412,17.421273769230773,6.3976923076923065,64.63064102564104,61.30769230769231,12.6974358974359,35.5897435897436,11.20814326018867,6.2675282051282055,162,7,18,6,3,41,22,26,0.194,0.609,0.197,0.024,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,3,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38836360648404217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053305199760192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4372525516376496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5078040432839934,0.0,0.32522426288904843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606318306441429,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Julian_baker,2018/04/04,"I have depression I think I have depression, I can’t get up in the morning not because I’m tired or that I don’t want to, I just can’t. I’m always tired even though I go to bed at nine thirty and wake up at seven. I’m always sad and when I am happy it feels fake, I am a trans gay teen so I don’t want the things. I was sexually harassed by a sixteen year old boy I am thirteen and had told him multiple times that I wasn’t interested and I was a lesbian. It turned out he was doing this to my best friend ari and my other friends one of which was only eleven. He would say that he had open mind since he came from a liberal home and prided him self on being a feminist and straight ally, he dissed the Muslim religion when my friend said she was Muslim. I started loosing sleep, so I told the vice principal she said it was because he was home schooled his whole life. He was not he dropped out of school at ten years old. I told the principal when he touched himself in front of me. No one saw him doing this and the camera angle didn’t pick it up so it was my word against his, the principal said he had just not reached the proper mile stones and if he actually was mastribating in front of me.",2.0112410948631414,3.4667840236220497,3.621631046119237,90.64022309711288,76.8740157480315,6.885339332583428,23.906261717285343,7.62386473244151,0.9145285339332584,938,30,214,13,21,312,130,254,0.081,0.804,0.115,0.7793,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,10,12,1,0,13,0,28,7,2,1,0,28,47,18,0,4,7,0,2,0,3,1,3,4,3,2,13,13,0,0,2,0,0,4,10,5,0,6,23,7,31,7,22,22,2,29,0,3,1,2,31,15,0,2,9,140,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.11787950676844115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010239585841535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727228555187205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267679879794681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815848553822946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20808289878817815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978464297701114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061078105663592334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799801548898611,0.0,0.06311094349624795,0.0,0.06865117139481001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858962724616824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242336547807146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532181307503109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196956197432945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25351024084432394,0.0,0.16370904136981967,0.09187082917812056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34471407870934817,0.09606185677116244,0.0,0.24450407623910844,0.0,0.0,0.12601661090092714,0.0,0.0,0.09992372981903916,0.0,0.1208832741397454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855000565006357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025151926032559,0.0774012227786544,0.11868149272970617,0.0,0.07043714040800991,0.27767454871302805,0.0,0.3462773689637098,0.0,0.0,0.1313914004599941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249726431041632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486446108553496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581003865462539,0.0,0.0,0.1555773743452065
mentalhealth,Tukbi,2018/04/04,"I feel like I'm never anyone's priority and it makes me feel like I don't matter. How can I overcome this feeling? So basically I'm that friend or family member people always go to with problems or for help or for whatever the hell they need. And I always liked to help them out, I care for them so I want to make everyone happy all the time. I often also drown my feelings in a way like, I am extremely good at lying if I want to. I never lie to loved ones about anything, except how I feel. For example, one ex of mine, we were very happy together and out of the blue he told me he wanted to see other people. I blinked for a second and then I was like: ""Well yeah I understand, you don't have as much experience as me with dating and everything. So don't worry!"". I am so good at faking that everything is alright while I was literally dying inside. I spent the rest of the day with him just talking about other girls even. He'd always come to me with girl trouble and I always gave him genuine advice that would help him. But it fucking destroyed me. 

On another occasion I had this girlfriend who is really nice and everything. But she is unable to express verbally that she cared about me (she couldn't do this in general to anyone). She had issues herself which caused this and I am someone who needs confirmation that I'm still liked and appreciated. For five years I never got that from her, not even one single time and in the end it literally drove me insane to see how cold and emotionless she acted. She said she did try to show she cared by doing some things for me, but the things she did for a mutual friend of ours, were something she put way more effort in. She talked to him 24/7, asked him to play games with, gives him way more attention, etc. Where as with me, I tried to initiate conversation a million times but it always died out because she never gave actual answers to talk about. It made me jealous, angry, spiteful. She was one of many friends I had who treated others better than me. I know it sounds stupid, but it just literally drove me insane. I held out for 5 years until I finally broke and ended the friendship.
Why do I keep doing this? Everytime when I help such people, they put me on second, third or last place but still expect me to be there for them when they need me, which I usually am. Only when I decide to cut out a person from my life, I stop doing it. Cutting people off also comes very easily to me. I feel bad for maybe a day or two, then I return to my old self and have no more breakdowns because of them.

I just feel like I'm never good enough. I always give EVERYTHING to people I love and care about. But there's always someone else who matters more to them than me. I admit, I'm very selfish that way but fuck it, I deserve to be happy and for once to be someone's number one. Even with my best friends, it feels like they put each other over me or maybe it's just how I see it since I'm used to that. When I'm really upset, I become very dramatic and hurt people in the process. That's what I hate most about myself. But recently I've stopped doing that. I'm holding everything in now and refuse to let anything out because I'm scared to hurt the ones I care about again. But it's eating me up inside and I have nobody to talk to about this. I just want to be someone. I just want one single person to say that I'm the most important person in their life. Is it stupid to think like that? I know my friends and family care about me, but I always feel left out.",3.4438424594273656,4.637271681118881,4.772020055416281,84.87773980736245,72.74825174825175,7.633988652856577,23.8402163873862,8.092016823424146,1.221503760390553,2752,74,565,40,53,915,289,715,0.133,0.696,0.171,0.9573,0,0,1,0,0,0,76.0,2,1,10,3,42,56,11,2,17,2,39,7,0,9,6,120,105,58,3,13,26,1,9,9,6,1,2,3,0,6,45,37,1,6,17,3,1,9,11,21,1,13,20,17,109,35,96,77,16,72,1,3,4,4,77,24,3,11,44,414,154,0,0.0,0.0,0.046778774225509294,0.0,0.0,0.04684265769527484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666905465057652,0.3190937807705115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05026524010242196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703615090094987,0.0,0.07889474534761398,0.0,0.04481383576232699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002468868683423,0.08766430889092608,0.05294171910372093,0.0,0.0,0.05030603920291609,0.042395635255744336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932446402014111,0.04924363772145892,0.0,0.08258550916187074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061829711035940475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950032536339652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049050655746557474,0.04004450802657608,0.0,0.08491441355269193,0.049530864182961536,0.05346148625416992,0.0949841385360377,0.0,0.0,0.045805052142428936,0.21540963424064888,0.04689075964033134,0.0903798849653505,0.0,0.2181416510771758,0.13698240016696853,0.0,0.052511716743680936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851767794117588,0.08863240917566323,0.0,0.09196945930779098,0.02724322263498242,0.1206197221859081,0.03833892369541226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308679105284442,0.0,0.047327030649996105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285223819804907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263329472419057,0.0,0.0,0.05003289356147726,0.0,0.042607858754091565,0.0,0.0,0.052688916347304514,0.03907436579779296,0.0,0.0,0.05208277469204334,0.04901796816743786,0.06771745046725168,0.21077266405448286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652850624456597,0.045358350672505314,0.06399551387416329,0.0485997391827724,0.09631662525458996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035238590899943974,0.10663215875346453,0.18485659671926397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050300932899245865,0.051050442593248514,0.22737946341978224,0.03645760738103286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939737266679208,0.1255680095696543,0.05008308123198188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586842819945891,0.0,0.1445672331110766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141825912505965,0.0,0.0473311718421509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559826244713618,0.03812075595471075,0.047992455551046885,0.0,0.1145967321163824,0.0,0.05000786609650555,0.0,0.0,0.03965328431648168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246460060865064,0.03690359550264295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656375358650494,0.08015354715465077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411706839175054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369330520032214,0.0307155537412748,0.0,0.0,0.08385587567928961,0.0,0.0,0.045805052142428936,0.0,0.06509100779736403,0.0,0.04682665986011518,0.04990322985479945,0.0,0.041401448525774064,0.05279490441647086,0.15820939877310264,0.14136993650694246,0.15219796029682553,0.0,0.0,0.043100361921746,0.0,0.04325492557752483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486814941718241,0.0,0.03405247048065867,0.0,0.0,0.0617386267435618
mentalhealth,MessyNinja,2018/04/04,"How can I get rid of my Social Anxiety? Hello guys, I'm just new to Reddit and I suffered from social anxiety since I was in grade 5. (I am in Grade 10 now)  I don't know how it started, but it really affected my life and made me more depressed. I just started overthinking of what if people judge me and it's really horrible that I'm always in my room. I lost many friends because of this anxiety and I've been in therapy and medication but we can't continue it because my family have financial issue or they just don't take it so seriously, like they say I can get rid of this by myself. I have no one to talk to and sometimes I am suicidal, I wanna enjoy and experience things in life but this prevents me from doing this things. What can I do to get rid of this?",2.386346153846155,3.8446707500000015,4.992500000000003,81.19019230769233,75.875,8.923076923076922,26.05769230769231,9.466822959209583,2.346533653846154,600,22,125,16,13,214,86,160,0.197,0.725,0.078,-0.9629,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,2,1,7,7,0,0,0,0,14,3,0,4,0,23,25,15,1,2,8,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,15,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,4,1,23,3,18,21,1,11,0,3,0,0,10,6,0,2,6,92,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327753332131193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662126956376396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454523654723116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743772840383234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609044390216806,0.15042874622076352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328367431221696,0.0,0.25010680153134396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799975684196474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655001167871308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769570384930585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254185469468266,0.07795802401406138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418991188699814,0.0,0.0,0.15098934513852394,0.0,0.16177931261415854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075036309568244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411406054413074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081290144267988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062600482205112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044497338934815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268967652581832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319982614616215,0.0,0.0,0.3253238001097528,0.0,0.0,0.1578191790545852,0.0,0.2258894625609531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454408869125415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997706168286562,0.128256621361483,0.0,0.0,0.18248262816788172,0.0,0.21202293071326964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SumRegaliss,2018/04/04,"I'm never the protagonist in any story. I watch a lot of tv series. It is part of my escapist tendencies. I like historical shows. Austen, Forester, Mantel, etc.

The thing is, I never see myself as the protagonist followed in the shows. Perhaps I'm not meant to. But I'm pretty sure I shouldn't also identify yourself with one of the protagonists' obstacles. The lazy bum servant, the traumatically-raised unloved child. The self-pitying wrong'un. That's me.

I'm a burden to many. I'm as useless as a glass hammer in general. I once endeavored to take on responsibility in an organisation of sorts. Myself and another fellow, doing a task. He, of course, is the man I ought to be. Smart, hard-working, loved by all, successful. My total opposite. He was the ox to the plow, and I was the useless stone dragging him down. He managed to pull us through our duties, despite of my stubborn uselessness. I was taken apart by others, and yelled at, not without reason. Making me see my faults. I've left that group of people now. I'll never forgive myself. And I won't give myself the opportunity to hurt that organisation again. Or to be, once again, a burden on the good guy's life. At least I have on virtue going for me, the talent of unforgiving shame. But I digress.

When I watch a film, or a play, or read a book, I find myself identifying this fellow with the protagonist. He is the good guy taking on an adventure, and hardship, and overcoming it all, with skill and determination, despite of the baddies in his way. I see myself as those baddies. He's the Hornblower. I'm the Bunting. He's the Poldark. I'm the Jud. Whatever I do, the protagonist is always, always someone else I've wronged. Or no one at all. But without fail, I'm an obstacle in the story. The man bent on self-destruction, making the protagonist's life harder? That's me. 

The day you realise you're really the asshole yourself, and a useless, lazy one at that, is a depressing day. At least I'm a self-conscious burden, I suppose? That's something, isn't it. At least I'm ashamed for what I am. Good thing about self-destructive no-gooders is that they won't be around for long? Let's end on a positive note, eh? At least my father's not around to see what I've become. I should count that my blessing.",2.163954081632653,4.698210714285715,4.04754676870748,82.40764668367349,81.31292517006804,6.758900226757373,25.5140306122449,7.9370924344782425,1.76427925170068,1779,72,338,34,48,600,206,441,0.13,0.748,0.122,-0.3326,2,0,1,0,0,1,90.0,2,1,1,4,8,30,1,2,43,0,24,3,0,3,8,47,48,21,0,3,12,1,0,1,2,5,2,1,0,5,18,13,0,2,4,7,0,3,13,16,0,3,5,7,40,14,56,34,11,41,1,7,6,1,24,25,0,6,13,222,58,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717609060469417,0.1606020228655202,0.0,0.0,0.06562762511280895,0.1011953190786357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182221822779928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658367783295243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447721972624895,0.0,0.08312077501725472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061866926009369,0.0,0.0854759785920713,0.0,0.10763008689275406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820505254161631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257768152681192,0.05484678083024852,0.32377977966238675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111291191677904,0.0,0.0,0.08645073088224288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033120401548195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485442808435057,0.09868427802558677,0.13633057343925933,0.04714812628321823,0.0,0.0,0.08540507996901246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204624488118761,0.08710074577356555,0.0,0.12883747163848067,0.09784228830336683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22329493205260045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555221925938585,0.19618559442277891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045069690222392,0.0,0.06690534953293831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818164927151464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653246270736388,0.0,0.06182443689466498,0.09922459753685704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30761225446601714,0.0,0.40270866752181145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176951440038653,0.07429530057808116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095608967730208,0.0,0.14512152473984993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822905709365068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608525259033348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766022460251447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605734880091,0.0,0.07025776979674044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21102908063502485,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gnullify,2018/04/04,"Do psychiatrists typically also act as therapists? Do you talk about your relationships, childhood, etc? I've done so a few times, but the reaction I get is always pretty cold, so I just answer the standard questions and get my script. 

Should I get a separate doctor, a psychologist, if I want therapy?",6.253333333333334,8.14021674074074,7.593518518518517,64.66583333333335,66.77777777777777,11.325925925925928,33.87037037037037,11.20814326018867,4.589792592592592,240,11,38,8,4,82,43,54,0.0,0.875,0.125,0.7423,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,9,9,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,2,7,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,28,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20958056921126567,0.21806665189250432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682439542212232,0.0,0.2681928023233107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922819062030769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107687136280089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666235848330637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935829790568275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813695131304422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064524054668105,0.0,0.0,0.2997045820946421,0.3042882383538236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281751972093302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457809880410572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Olivia8791,2018/04/04,"Been There I'm so terribly sorry you're going through this. All I've got is that I've been EXACTLY where you are now. I also know you don't want/can't hear this at the moment- I couldn't either, at the time... BUT please, PLEASE leave before it escalates. Trust and believe me- it will escalate. I don't want you to end up in the hospital, beaten to a bloody pulp like I was. Or even worse- dead. Really, honey...I've been there. It doesn't get better, only worse. Just the truth...",-0.2845578231292549,1.9899651020408164,1.6477959183673467,94.88529931972788,96.95918367346935,5.470476190476191,14.696598639455786,7.03164865440522,-0.04446340136054383,372,8,81,7,15,122,71,98,0.274,0.598,0.127,-0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,2,8,6,1,0,5,0,11,0,0,0,3,11,18,5,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,5,1,8,4,7,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146923920685742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245311889122529,0.2415745926754804,0.0,0.18963445828633915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990986592877027,0.0,0.0,0.14162044078688935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202406005614901,0.0,0.12185815202896455,0.0,0.1714889040440951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24166360122733396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178380044188809,0.0,0.0,0.2270366989402608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475334109914784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630738302283477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707310702468856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373610541251719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24002233539624565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250283074554164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25293746552681545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370185887806749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hatemyselfso,2018/04/04,"Feel like I've tried everything - don't think I will ever be okay I'll turn 23 soon and I've had mental health problems since I was 11 or so, and things got really bad when I turned 16 and have basically remained that way. I feel they have even gotten worse because I have been like ""traumatised"" by my repeated failures to fix things and the repeated confirmations that I am a freak who has no place in the world. I am on disability now and have basically never worked or gone to school and I don't see that changing any time soon. Don't have any friends and have not for many years, let alone any kind of romantic relationship. Don't really have any hobbies or interests. Just kind of exist in my own head. I have body dysmorphic disorder, mild autism, ocd, generalised anxiety, depression, traits of borderline personality disorder. I know I sound like one of those stereotypical girls on Tumblr. But really there is just so much wrong with me I don't know where to start. I'm not sure I really believe those labels as such other than as ways of simply describing that I cannot cope with life very well.

It seems like everything I try to better myself just sets off some of my problems somehow - be it socialising or exercise, or whathaveyou. I have tried therapy in the past, even waited 2 years for my last course at some special hospital, which lasted 20 weeks. It didn't do shit and maybe even made me feel a bit worse. 
I have tried a lot of therapy, and something like 15 medications over the years. Of course I've tried exercise and sleeping properly and such and it doesn't make any difference or just sets off my anxieties.

I feel like my entire life is nothingness. I don't matter to anyone, I don't contribute anything, I don't do anything. I don't see the point in even trying to do anything anymore. I mean, I want to, and I think I will give a few days of volunteering a try at this mental health place; but that's not going to make any difference. I have no education, no experience in life. It's like I just don't exist. I meet other people with mental health problems and it somehow seems like they cope better than me, even if they have ""worse"" problems (like psychosis) - it seems like very few of them have a life quite as empty as mine somehow. I don't understand why it seems like me that is unable to have anything good in my life. Makes me feel defective and like a failure. I feel I am getting stupider also. Probably the years of lack of intellectual stimulation. Look how terrible my writing is. People used to always say I was a good writer, yadda yadda. Now I can't even do that. I think I have given myself brain damage with my unhealthy diet, sleep and hitting myself in the head. My body in general feels very unhealthy and I can't help but destroy it more and more with unhealthy coping habits.

I feel like I can't even be honest and open about my problems with people because I will burden them and drag them down - and that isn't some kind of delusion. It's true. I really don't know where to turn to. The only reason I haven't killed myself is out of a vague, vague, vague hope somehow things will spontaneously fix themselves or I will find myself in circumstances that will make me see things differently. I do want to die. If I had a button right now to kill myself I think I'd have to just tell myself to be rational and quickly press it before I deluded myself into thinking it wasn't worth it. I've even tried to kill myself impulsively before, and kind of almost worked a couple years ago. Just have to hope I will snap again one day and do what is right. I really want to have a nice life instead. But I never will. I feel totally empty and out of place. I don't have a kindred spirit in the world. I don't have any insights. I don't know. Not looking for any advice, because I will just refuse to listen like always. Just had to get this ""out there"". Just can't see any unexplored avenue really. No-one and nothing is going to be my saviour.",4.377307778374508,5.679981128826532,5.306863587540281,81.51307375581814,70.61989795918367,8.613999283924096,26.509488005728606,9.03889512513358,2.015332823129252,3151,100,616,61,57,1032,298,784,0.16399999999999998,0.728,0.108,-0.9925,1,1,1,0,0,3,86.0,0,0,6,5,44,52,6,0,22,1,83,21,8,9,6,130,141,48,4,13,27,0,10,14,1,9,12,3,0,2,35,37,1,2,27,2,1,3,35,19,1,2,13,19,89,33,77,112,13,67,1,2,6,0,19,33,1,24,41,412,124,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286735370852568,0.03888638216185439,0.0,0.04392751837972469,0.04543407302372037,0.0,0.035081266156852565,0.07300346863036808,0.0,0.0,0.2684860232238948,0.0,0.06711788098750894,0.0,0.04350532090561216,0.03067356265973564,0.0,0.14439867936448805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036627991908008715,0.08022467387071111,0.0,0.0746569641829374,0.04942427354073693,0.0,0.07759545600628719,0.04789255217970577,0.09745503513740036,0.0,0.04897125521467292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046406583406646086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853916629101999,0.0,0.056582530178277135,0.0,0.037783489791938386,0.0,0.04552811316997886,0.1374983357232157,0.10055317863836488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317954823606381,0.03968116545663927,0.0,0.0,0.07885155486512463,0.04291137348012401,0.0,0.0,0.19962905128310784,0.09401803754389527,0.0,0.0,0.0400946057301767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03389234894949282,0.0,0.04583849423930765,0.04208223376410415,0.04986245095020338,0.07358888314726576,0.035085289428853174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900425566792594,0.13988906701618434,0.0,0.0,0.029403831245337807,0.0,0.0,0.0871417497705781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560050324581605,0.1827273065202888,0.09643493878045516,0.07151663641660848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044858056371954586,0.1859118191138885,0.3000440078747677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367623218293584,0.0,0.0,0.0372950499474014,0.0,0.04150901245959334,0.11712906414698784,0.04447532040651383,0.04407135553301999,0.04778517010716784,0.0,0.04419244827177124,0.132626038726039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032248066497950006,0.0,0.06766749374870185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209258000764127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059452256090888514,0.033363631097450316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187702038823695,0.0912377533984404,0.03830389183376677,0.1374983357232157,0.0,0.04146948951863318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729718075923554,0.20987901118585134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665907421992989,0.0,0.0,0.19672098652495748,0.04510366472599397,0.0,0.047097871790790384,0.0,0.07492615518871451,0.0,0.03488563650204272,0.0,0.04439681166721872,0.13982863458719205,0.15974331162887898,0.0,0.0,0.04502992603167747,0.036288106784146484,0.0,0.08779946802114905,0.0,0.0,0.033771770419587656,0.0,0.0,0.031050033720363177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134512082116146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0383426119085788,0.0,0.10033388355093027,0.0,0.11657594070127696,0.14054438532778588,0.0,0.0,0.025579814497764714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382682274473483,0.1431475339955439,0.0,0.04566819029141756,0.0,0.037887912969094883,0.0,0.10858721394512008,0.07762354277271795,0.06964083720657781,0.03518830605834414,0.0,0.03944264801293138,0.0,0.03958409461798648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387293013975014,0.0,0.1341158813623566,0.0,0.047962829463033964,0.0,0.1412479393948795
mentalhealth,12249,2018/04/04,"A realization I made about the way I view depression/mental health Just earlier, I was asking myself if I was meant to be depressed because I felt uncomfortable leaving my slump in my head. Whenever I am happy I get a gnawing feeling that something is wrong. 
I thought the problem was that depression was me and it would never leave. 




After calming down and thinking it through, I realized the flaw in my thinking. I was thinking of depression as a switch that you can turn on and off if you do the right things. But can an overeater trust their stomach to tell them 1 plate of food is enough? Should an out of shape person feel good the first time they exercise? No. Because our bodies build up tolerance to our lifestyles, and our mental health is no exception. We don't want to get better for the same reason we don't like strenous exercise;we aren't used to it. For years of being depressed, you come up with coping mechanisms that are harmful and it twists your perception of things. Food becomes a form of medication/quick dopamine rather than fuel for the body, negative thoughts and rumination become a comfort zone and replaces social interactions. And these emotions become the norm in our body. Expecting good things is going into uncharted territory.





So if you feel like crap remind yourself this. Don't be afraid to seek help and better yourself no matter what your mind tells you. And don't give in so soon because you still feel depressed after months, or after taking your medication. I can't say how everyones depression will go away over time, but I can say that seeking professional help and managing could never hurt.


**before someone misconstrues I am not saying if you are depressed it means you want to be or aren't trying hard enough to get better. I'm referring to the tendency of depressed individuals to prefer their depression over time as a safety shield to protect themselves and how this is mentality shaped by our years of depression. This is for those individuals who want to seek help but are held back by fear of  leaving a part of themselves they have known  forever**i


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mentalhealth,frozendoctor,2018/04/04,"My experience with panic attacks, various medications, and a badass book that made all the difference Cross-posted from r/PanicAttack

Brief back story first: I'm temporarily single-parenting 4 young children overseas while my husband works an ocean away for about 4 months. I am normally a very calm, competent, rational person and not prone to emotional outbursts or even emotional roller coasters. At all. I didn't cry when I got married. I didn't cry when my kids were born. I didn't even freak out when my 3rd baby was born before the midwife arrived and stopped breathing and I had to resuscitate her. That's the kind of calm person I am. Okay, now onto the main story...

About 4 weeks into our separation, I had these crazy symptoms--what I now know was a panic attack--that lasted all night long, persisted much of the next day, and lasted about half the next night. My symptoms were racing heart, heart palpitations, chest pain/pressure, waves of fear and adrenaline, sweating, dizziness, weakness, trembling, nausea, and full-body tingling. I thought I was having a heart attack and went into emergency care. They did an EKG, ran a huge battery of blood tests, and all they could tell me was ""Nothing is wrong with your heart.""

6 weeks later this happened again and lasted about 5 days. Again, I thought it was a heart attack and went in to emergency care. Same slew of tests, same lack of helpfulness in giving any answers other than that my heart was fine.

After this 2nd episode, it only took me 5 minutes with Dr. Google to figure out what it likely was. Panic attacks! 

I had a 3rd attack lasting a few days and then a 4th attack soon after, again lasting a few days. I met with my family doctor and she confirmed my suspicions that I was experiencing panic attacks. 

I'm normally not one to take medications, but as I was not sleeping and not functioning but still responsible for 4 young children, I was desperate.

She put me on 10 mg Paxil daily (SSRI/antidepressant) and bromazepam 1.5 mg as needed. Bromazepam is a mild sedative and at very small doses can calm down a panic attack. This with the goal of getting me through the last month until my husband returned.

For the first few days everything just slooooowed way down and the attacks mostly stopped. But then the Paxil sent me into a depression. The attacks started coming again nonstop. I felt numb and dark and very somber. And on top of that I stopped sleeping again. I started having dark thoughts. That freaked me out and immediately I knew I needed to change something.

So 10 days into the medications, I had a doctor come do a house call (a benefit of living in this particular European country! Doctors do house calls night or day!) He was amazing and spent an hour going over everything in great detail and exploring some additional possible somatic causes (low magnesium, for example).

He advised me to immediately stop Paxil, gave me an antihistamine to help me sleep (25 mg hydroxyzine aka Atarax/Vistaril), and generally was AMAZING. We are running some more blood tests and I'll get my results back in a few days. 

By time I had the house call doctor come, I'd been working on doing lots of deep breathing and meditation to calm down the panic attacks. During the day I could generally stop the attacks really soon, but I was still having issues at night being woken up by a full-blown attack that just wouldn't calm down even with the bromazepam.

A few days ago I read a book about a counter-intuitive approach to panic attacks: [Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks](https://www.amazon.com/Badass-Ways-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks/dp/9090305262) by Geert Verschaeve. It was amazing. Instead of trying to resist/stop/fight panic attacks by deep breathing or relaxation, you either  

* a) laugh at them--humor and anxiety can't co-exist
* b) give them the middle finger by, essentially, deliberately inviting them on and saying ""come on, give me your worst!"" or 
* c) accept and welcome the attacks as a sign that your body is desperately trying to protect you (although in a very unpleasant way). 

BEST ADVICE EVER. I've done all of the above strategies and all of them work. Bam.

It's been 5 days since that last doctor's house call. I made some drastic changes in my life (flew my MIL in from overseas to help with the kids until my husband comes back). I've been sleeping better and better and now have reduced the antihistamine to a half dose (otherwise I'm super groggy the whole next day--it's powerful!). The daytime attacks have stopped entirely and the night attacks got less and less. I haven't had a strong night attack at all for a few days. I've stopped using bromazepam entirely.

I know this is super long. If you got through it, thanks! But I want to leave you with this main message: your panic attack is your body desperately trying to keep you away from danger. Your body is trying to help you! Don't think of your body as your enemy or of the attacks as something you need to fight, to resist, or to stop. Instead, embrace the attacks and tell your body, sincerely, ""Thank you so much for keeping me safe. Thank you so much. I'm okay, so you can stop freaking out. But thank you for caring so much about me."" I had some nights where I'd repeat this over and over, feeling an immense amount of love for myself and especially my body (which, previously, I had described as my ""enemy"").",6.1832905525846735,7.551264822222228,6.262284610814023,76.09597593582889,66.43434343434343,8.732620320855615,32.033571004159235,9.007467420416297,2.821770647653,4274,173,730,72,68,1357,405,990,0.182,0.6709999999999999,0.147,-0.9839,3,0,2,0,2,0,181.0,2,20,5,16,38,80,24,12,60,2,58,41,24,5,8,140,116,70,0,11,20,3,3,1,0,1,16,1,0,6,26,60,0,14,13,5,1,17,11,45,0,5,52,5,91,35,117,60,37,151,0,2,0,1,63,45,0,13,87,483,117,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02504185405546277,0.02271628693161987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02776622980043511,0.0,0.017426853428471684,0.0,0.039208302701149486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6705366515477912,0.04815375535784914,0.05911543620353483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021806207283110224,0.0,0.026893360748719626,0.04532899553092929,0.0,0.19925633250330355,0.0,0.0,0.1046698145251164,0.0,0.07838357005959525,0.026325406150156317,0.05421873702694953,0.11037451594768637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040921243535436934,0.0,0.056298867364615174,0.214850083140408,0.0,0.0220720094715716,0.0,0.0,0.02677416851575629,0.0,0.13114870196267756,0.0,0.0262247385985278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057652576532766626,0.02269741359707499,0.0,0.0,0.05077805256645905,0.023180576082964532,0.0,0.0,0.046062771740119086,0.025067569118338254,0.02415832064413507,0.028836862062565638,0.012957494677011405,0.0,0.0246053947528722,0.0,0.0,0.043595662189022014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026777507439994287,0.0737496298521671,0.01456409261967489,0.0,0.06148739924640634,0.0282532332094675,0.0,0.0,0.0226613703562189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220468125566225,0.06870743230140293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025236874772695067,0.1182778535424815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026747338434330598,0.0,0.04555590280452265,0.0,0.026685986805612044,0.02816723513198058,0.14622274431746446,0.0,0.02713469272572965,0.0,0.0,0.01810070772073211,0.01251978088118188,0.0,0.022628610123515795,0.045357174150627434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02178667720252286,0.023128856598076796,0.048496701665668177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744780661059457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040909549178288165,0.0,0.07535350843473339,0.057005026796175,0.0,0.0,0.0817620076983127,0.16834070184958472,0.050216927301962894,0.024589253923542345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01736513443795725,0.019490057314559262,0.027268331855109976,0.3307380778100813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447520262426019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028889953130960606,0.02454303932437322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025761643559454636,0.0,0.0,0.02563336820125619,0.0,0.016416949389973273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020379168349324357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02119845046224333,0.0,0.10257976171249424,0.0,0.0,0.039456960734840514,0.0,0.0,0.03627704281115394,0.0,0.0409306055118447,0.235673303084656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026635676410179446,0.019267888611011842,0.0,0.04479726451268744,0.09437350714102724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016420383724284626,0.0,0.06103357667770984,0.014942979353806847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028471910342234383,0.0695946642561659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022133010437018184,0.0,0.08457796523953831,0.01511513433275584,0.0610232098819942,0.041111958100495324,0.0,0.0,0.04751192086403589,0.0,0.028610997634058763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596904600865096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028018481935391068,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halplzzz,2018/04/04,"Wanting to hurt frightened animals I’ve been to various psychiatrists and therapists over the last 10 years who have said that I’m either depressed or anxious or cyclothemic (sp?) or BPD. They’ve all just put me on Zoloft or something similar which, from what I can tell, doesn’t do a very good job of regulating whatever’s going on in my head. Essentially one of my main issues (besides mood swings that last days or weeks at a time) is this - I want to hurt animals. Especially when they are already frightened. I’m so confused because growing up I wanted to be a vet and HELP animals. My boyfriend’s dog has always been afraid of me and it got to the point yesterday that I almost strangled her to death because she wouldn’t stop screeching out of fear. I don’t know what to do. I’m scaring myself. And I don’t know if I can go to another doctor that I can manipulate to think one way or the other about me. I don’t know how to ask for help anymore but here I am.",4.547692307692309,5.2938184358974345,5.630256410256411,81.41307692307693,69.76923076923077,8.871794871794874,31.41025641025641,9.057496981413335,2.5514102564102563,765,32,155,14,13,254,123,195,0.129,0.8240000000000001,0.048,-0.9025,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,6,9,0,4,6,0,18,3,1,2,1,29,33,15,1,5,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,11,5,0,1,4,0,0,4,5,7,0,2,4,1,20,1,24,27,4,22,0,3,0,0,9,8,0,9,9,102,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682602562319658,0.0,0.16180683303466775,0.0,0.12200563053719027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375147200903372,0.0,0.16564707364733205,0.14541484694890328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370766995400636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876523958598126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467190732448274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456245574773442,0.0,0.12628984848107191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500792188467332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649964379202343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666330744122107,0.122983993190359,0.11727121846827965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504818758469771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656232990574754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139350395785925,0.0,0.0,0.1530407696904202,0.14550493554468294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417475306131654,0.23904158209484544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871685900168415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861015953621642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740090003754666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947610631155874,0.0,0.14679947158843942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288083214952985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225869590661644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815869245979827,0.0,0.0,0.17024555594914972,0.0,0.09395283085628857,0.0,0.0,0.08549953736104854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098284966640735,0.25945367961807936,0.1163858980118642,0.11761554755490153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944231512900059
mentalhealth,xxxAnswer,2018/04/04,"Mental Disorder management... TEXT/CALL# (360) 749 - 8123 Do you or anyone you know suffering from the follow chronic diseases. Mental disorder, Chronic pains, Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia, Migraines and want to buy medicine without prescription? contact Dr. Karl and order without prescription required. If you are interested hit privately TEXT/CALL# (360) 749 - 8123 or email: kimlarry883@yahoo.com  for more information.
",9.624214285714283,14.16449985,8.00952380952381,52.90500000000003,67.16666666666666,12.095238095238097,45.23809523809523,10.914260884657429,7.653309523809524,341,22,34,13,7,103,46,60,0.236,0.7070000000000001,0.057,-0.9136,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,0,0,11,6,5,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,5,1,2,0,2,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,17,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875834810669173,0.0,0.0,0.17145516442952807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119732738127348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5620593202231289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134759927211345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4942240658437199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609186452806833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463005637065188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727436046913726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnderDevelopedPotato,2018/04/04,"I’m a failure I am literally not good at anything. In school I get As and Bs. I do cheer but I’m never the best or even top ten. I have a friend group but any time I talk about myself I feel like they are always one upping me. I’m even not very good at being depressed and having anxiety. I’m like “oh yeah I’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately. I’ve been thinking about cutting a lot ” And my other friend who’s also going through the same thing is like “yeah I’ve tried to kill my self twice this year.” So yeah I’m just not very good at anything. 

And before anyone suggests I get a hobby, I don’t have time for one. I get home from school, I do homework, I go to cheer practice, I go to bed. No free time. 

Sorry for complaining a lot. It’s just when I say stuff like this to my dad he yells at me and then it just makes me want to cut even more. 🙁",-1.0533865248226952,0.9702991223404284,1.2735106382978714,99.88416666666667,92.35106382978724,3.771631205673759,15.812056737588652,5.148860815047168,-1.0046283687943258,657,15,160,3,24,220,106,188,0.197,0.591,0.213,0.5388,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,11,20,3,0,7,3,12,0,0,1,1,23,28,13,1,1,9,1,2,4,2,0,0,2,3,1,8,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,6,6,0,4,2,4,21,15,19,25,5,18,0,2,0,0,12,7,0,3,12,99,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241430836425601,0.10656114455136864,0.0,0.0,0.08708924982924951,0.0,0.097970115010622,0.0,0.0,0.08954670252831991,0.0,0.21077475952129093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897470628888707,0.0,0.13439733240464727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060606121386744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537590921937845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950800277504618,0.0914903531490872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788689843649265,0.0,0.2007275477025774,0.0,0.21834852273772135,0.3222469738034155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284606077944014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416860190729378,0.1333609983806366,0.0,0.0,0.14446399009824198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502662524692691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177542126727036,0.0,0.0,0.0854850281082512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877236956087213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356162862022667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184319796865884,0.0,0.25921919352321765,0.0,0.0,0.1336007348046108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335936629382853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660489387940673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293457404948704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508133860856741,0.08205950123617807,0.0,0.0,0.22402888751175967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694838582112742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133567155507166,0.07553662601863541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247028460332391
mentalhealth,SedatedStorm,2018/04/04,"At a loss about something I have been experiencing all of my life (Does someone know what this is?) For as long as I can remember, the voice inside my head felt extremely dual. Most people I speak to, they usually refer to as having a singular ""thought voice"", like when they read, introspect or analyse something. 

With me, it has always been two voices. In the last years (I am 23), I reached the point where I gave the voice a name and an appearance and created an entire character out of it, just so I can make sense of my thoughts. When I am alone I tend to speak out loud to her and she answers in my thoughts. I do not have DID (as confirmed with a psychiatrist), and present no signs of amnesia. I am in full control of my body and there is no such thing inside of me as an entity that can ""take over"".

This alter ego has different likes and dislikes than me, views things in a different light, and also is pretty much the yin to my yang. It is not an ""evil"" voice, or a ""good character"", it just feels as human and as imperfect as me, but different, in a completing sense. 

I have no control of this persona, and pretty much every single thought I have had in my life has been a conversation. None of my therapists or doctors ever took me seriously, and most of them just commented ""Well a lot of people have an imaginary friend that they talk to so they can cope with things."" These remarks always hurt me and made me hide this alter ego even more, because I feel like I am being taken seriously. Because of this alter ego, I am a very dual person, with extremely dual tastes in films, music, clothes and behaviour. It also affects my sexuality, my sexual orientation and preferences and also my power dynamics in society. It affects the tone of my voice, my accent, my vocabulary and the volume I speak at and the way I work and solve things. 

My issue is that sometimes it gets completely frustrating to be so split, and to always have to argue inside my head and have to have long conversations with the voice just to agree on something as simple as ""cigarette now and bathroom later or bathroom now and cigarette later?"". It caused me a lot of pain over the years, because it feels like I can never be truly happy. If I am happy but she isn't, then the voice makes everything in its power to undermine my happiness. If she is happy but I am sad, then it feels like she takes control and makes me act in a way I do not want to, because what I want is to be able to express my sadness. Because of this people always accused me of being double faced, impossible to understand, and that I am never sincere in expressing my emotions.

Has anyone ever experienced this? What is this? Is it a mental illness? And if someone did, what is the best way to address this to my psychiatrist without being dismissed again or being told it's an ""imaginary friend"" or it is a ""coping mechanism"" to some trauma. I have had this other voice for as long as I can remember, so none of these assessments sound right to me. ",6.431911542272985,6.311329323580036,7.280494445313725,74.22336827830806,65.57487091222032,10.553611849997393,32.92447712929641,10.230975488527342,3.2832772231784264,2351,89,439,51,33,788,237,581,0.124,0.789,0.087,-0.9648,5,1,5,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,5,8,24,27,3,0,32,0,56,10,4,10,5,92,82,59,0,6,20,0,5,5,2,0,5,14,1,2,39,31,1,3,16,2,0,3,12,11,1,1,17,24,67,16,76,58,15,49,0,4,1,0,27,22,0,15,26,355,106,3,0.07096410412915254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349741022377378,0.0,0.1702499053003759,0.23619127780524066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961975160470911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629529606065173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447244914624372,0.0,0.0,0.07882512197537606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289968290277991,0.0,0.0,0.14880902606167076,0.0,0.2387768309432905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224271546259852,0.0,0.07263476758274906,0.062101165742080126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982506563800881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04687112149889944,0.12838218991290615,0.059790318385525225,0.0,0.06377796099943313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143526333121813,0.15209031050749508,0.0681366686215953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096533816322236,0.0,0.03707581547209714,0.0,0.0,0.05952132367441732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30217043367054897,0.0,0.0,0.14565928796209482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596854118476956,0.0,0.0,0.07406808765776478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03900001575772904,0.057845216318067424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100248090808615,0.17334738371074024,0.0,0.0,0.1884029971325213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206622872604539,0.0,0.0671479511672593,0.14210727165452616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151512602676485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043335635387984,0.0,0.10946378380530547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551081013477491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475927237674626,0.061963118512479085,0.0,0.0,0.0670840160275794,0.0,0.0,0.1443920119106023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098330802355664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077699270597196,0.06060295718501881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025531028281773,0.16389490305319931,0.07018531353117594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067123494267918,0.05703825882652424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239479445179401,0.1885815901090544,0.0,0.0,0.2253502876447805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780924259527757,0.07884373079550537,0.0,0.0,0.069321618246557,0.07387613508199696,0.0,0.0,0.07815693496514653,0.05855281786875749,0.08371293446382629,0.16898400825169216,0.0,0.0,0.06380525205840229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840686402054172,0.0,0.05166271298442408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139711281925583
mentalhealth,7Temp3,2018/04/04,"I don't get why I'm so fucked up (temporary account, obviously. I don't want this being traced back to me at all, because my asshole aunt and grandad will use it as an excuse to put me back on meds that were killing me and maybe go back to the hospital, which never helped. they'd use this kind of post against me in every way they could, so i hope you understand.)




I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.
I’m 16 years old, female, I have maybe-illnesses because I’ve been on mind-numbing meds for over half my life since I was little and I guess it’s easier to blame the meds for how I am now. (from ritalin to depakote and beyond, i remember my psych telling my grandad that they were running out of things to try on me, I’m currently off meds and I’ve never felt better, mental-health wise...)

I feel like my sexuality and ‘me’ in general is so warped that I can’t even tell what might not be socially acceptable to share.
Today I shared an image on a subreddit for making fun of bad anatomy in art and porn. The image I shared wasn’t too wild, it was a hentai image of a girl being drowned/choked and raped… at least, I thought it wasn’t that bad. To me it’s relatively tame, I’ve seen more fucked up things.

Lately I’ve been noticing that what I do and say is mostly perceived negatively. I got the image from /r/guro (easily findable on there) and I linked the subreddit from the anatomy thread, the responses I got from that reply were mostly negative (‘what the fuck,’ ‘whoever gets off to this needs help’, ‘so-and-so image made me physically sick,’) 
To me the image was fairly tame and I didn’t understand why the subreddit or image would freak some people out…

I swear a lot and often get reprimanded for swearing, even though I explain the swear is a natural part of my sentence (like an enhancing word, ‘that’s so fucking bullshit,’ ‘that’s fuckin’ gross’.) to me swears are just words and i’ve never understood why people are so offended by them… i’m not swearing at you, it’s only part of my sentence. 

I’ve been thinking and what I realized is that I don’t have as good as grasp on what is/isn’t widely socially acceptable as I thought I did. 
The only thing I’m diagnosed with is ‘emotional disturbance’ and they suspect high functioning autism, (apparently I’m very intelligent in most areas but math, i don’t see it...) 
I don’t understand why I can’t tell or see why some things might be revolting.
A while ago on the guro subreddit someone in a thread called the subreddit sick and said it should be banned, but I couldn’t get why… it was normal to me.

I’ve never been into vanilla porn, my first porno that i recall was a rape porno, so maybe I might have started all wrong… I’m into lolicon and shotacon porn, I like guro and I’ve recently discovered that I like drowning and necrophilia a little bit.
The first public forum I was ever on when I was young (11-12) was a little NSFW site tucked away behind a dead flash game site, it had a lot of depraved people roleplaying there (i recall a lot of people getting banned for beastality and underaged photos) 
I think how I looked at porn was extremely warped from being on that site for over 2 years before it finally went down. I think starting from such a dark area of porn messed up how I view that kind of stuff. If building up tolerences to some kinds of porn is a real thing then I think that may be what happened to be…

However it isn’t just porn. Especially with the drama around school shootings lately I’ve been looked at funny  for things I say, i’m generally regarded as the quiet asshole who isn’t afraid to tell someone off in not-so-nice words, just today I was kicked out of class for telling a boy who sits next to me to ‘shut the fuck up.’ because he was poking me and asking if I talked to the teacher about him (i wasn’t, i was asking the teacher if she could not be so loud because i have sensory issues and she basically screams when she teaches) 

A boy who sits kind of near me went to the bathroom  while I was sitting in the hall afterward and looked at me and said sarcastically “Oh man I better run away.”  while he was walking to the toilet… I’m not violent at all despite what I enjoy, I’m very non-confrontational, and while I generally don’t care how I’m perceived by others it does kind of worry me…

My art has always been fucked up, I’ve always included a lot of gore and blood in my drawings since 6th grade, 6th grade is pretty much when my memories start, I don’t remember anything before then. I usually get talked to at the beginning of the school year because my art worries some teacher or another. 
I guess I never realised how that stuff is perceived by others, I just don’t think it’s that bad, I don’t understand why some people are repulsed by bloody things when I don’t mind it.

Generally I feel very detached from my peers and my surroundings.... They’re like an alien species to me and I’m usually only satisfied talking to people online. My day consists of school, internet, sleep. I’m not social at all. 

I know you can’t give medical advice here but is this supposed to be normal, at least from your own opinion? Being so detached that you only just now realized how darker stuff you thought was normal is being perceived? 

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mentalhealth,AFSW2,2018/04/04,"Not sure what is wrong with me I can't concentrate, I forget everything I do, I feel guilt over everything I do, I hit my head out of frustration , my house is a disaster; I have extreme disorganization, I eliminate in weird places such as cups, I avoid things I have to do, I don't sleep, I feel depersonalized 24/7 ...I know I need help but I don't know how..its like I'm incapable of helping my self or knowing where to turn. I make appointments but can't get myslef there. I won't even call and reschedule..i just won't go. I can't hold down a job. Everyone I know thinks Im this intellectual yet my Iq is only around 80-90. I'm a waste of space. I just want to end it all because it's better to not exist than to live in my mind. I know you guys don't like to diagnose..but what do you think is going on? Could I ever live a productive life? ",0.8859603509912262,2.6332233093922675,3.3612479688007824,89.92768280792983,81.09944751381217,7.352746181345466,21.144296392590185,8.313332769828598,0.945022489437764,653,19,156,14,17,227,106,181,0.154,0.745,0.101,-0.7027,1,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,1,9,9,1,2,4,0,19,3,2,1,3,31,38,5,0,3,7,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,9,0,0,2,10,5,0,0,0,2,30,4,19,34,1,15,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,5,93,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527417448320986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926317327277266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439384409173571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516534802542756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132550389273344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458902534778502,0.0,0.0,0.10036633432188408,0.13745403760049674,0.0,0.14520166991504938,0.2731387665297273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536683086880717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939139435817336,0.0,0.1727216206704291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046157394120968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559519841341375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203707490900779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533827103721314,0.0,0.0,0.1641399122747265,0.0,0.150794129005795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175586688480336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733190369110644,0.14847727906612687,0.0,0.2683620817388192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143264822302056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534335102274829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267437974240205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557034050245465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587629898719991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852455845967173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520669975264475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321791526408276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095364861433002,0.1947361475206059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652858587007534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962832655561316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614140458253673,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blackwell94,2018/04/04,"Finding a psychiatrist is impossible I've always had pretty bad anxiety, but I never actually thought I should be medicated for it. At my last therapy session, my therapist  told me that I have generalized anxiety disorder and while she can help, I really need to find a psychiatrist as I would benefit from medication.

That's all fine and dandy, except that I have spent the past week on ZocDoc, PsychologyToday and my health insurance website trying to find a psychiatrist. I'm honestly embarrassed by how ignorant I was about this, but I'm 23 and it's my first time on my own, and I never realized how insanely expensive mental health stuff is.

Almost no psychiatrists in NYC even take insurance at all, let alone mine. I've spent hours online and called dozens of offices, and no one takes my insurance. Then one very kind psychiatrist explained over the phone that few psychiatrists take insurance because the insurance companies are a pain to deal with. Okay, fine. I asked how much a session would be out of pocket. $600. Six. Hundred. Dollars.

I researched fifty more offices...the cheapest session I found would be $250 a session. I make $15 an hour! How on earth am I supposed to be able to afford this?

I desperately want to treat my anxiety. It bleeds into every aspect of my life and I'm ready to be better. But how am I supposed to pay $250+ a month just to chat with a doctor for 40 minutes and get prescribed medication?!

What do people do? Am I missing something? Should I just suck it up and pay the fee?",4.134895833333331,6.354812531250001,5.701411111111112,74.7047,72.99305555555556,9.330222222222222,30.27,9.791249743138472,3.314893999999999,1211,54,216,34,25,410,165,288,0.146,0.731,0.124,-0.5684,1,1,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,9,14,1,1,13,1,24,9,0,6,4,47,43,21,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,0,12,14,0,1,7,1,7,0,4,6,0,5,7,0,28,8,31,25,6,22,0,1,0,0,9,10,1,1,12,146,40,8,0.1125830319133492,0.0,0.10986479884983152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273564387595306,0.1166020677963071,0.0,0.0,0.0936781013905533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583771337812083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524993724680776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400212905126194,0.06862957129645504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995705427643122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495986312110615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606816239832088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290299083091618,0.11523350371484488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436003078290508,0.0,0.09485606005334744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30869655466562296,0.09576306943242632,0.0,0.12344148348678102,0.0,0.0,0.058819987481442834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934099660794797,0.0,0.0,0.07546203314305686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174321661971408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723790299403493,0.0,0.09177019726648306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512377786518142,0.0795207249162057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515004802373064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402466809510743,0.11345721635695095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986270196845825,0.0,0.08276148242599016,0.08347889162933088,0.1736619494706758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257835219250493,0.0,0.11979628364974808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747324299688553,0.07805089880300121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453741778645185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212357309698236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667191827618424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888063628639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539452866029251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287485087014368,0.13071757738782505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893783516925014,0.06564807127743366,0.0,0.0,0.10757791163304498,0.0,0.07643648852485893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289279197744127,0.06640438914826906,0.0,0.09030731729708943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23992726711876505,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zuyaro,2018/04/04,"Depression in Developing Vs Developed Countries What is the scoop on This? Why are rates higher in Developing than developed countries? I've read a lot of studies that indicate that the lowest levels are in India, China, and Mexico, to name a few.

Is it just misreporting and a lack of diagnosis?",5.0205660377358505,7.811802377358493,7.023245283018872,63.58920754716985,72.39622641509433,11.032452830188682,31.35471698113208,10.793553405168565,4.653923773584906,238,11,36,9,5,83,40,53,0.203,0.769,0.028,-0.8762,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,4,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,28,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756174228103132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694689568709355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5523591559496198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982833817140756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the-mighty-zabe,2018/04/04,"What happened? Weird feeling like my face was too far out from my body? Today while I was driving, I had some sort of episode. This is the second time it happened but was scarier because I was driving and alone. 

Basically, it starts with a weird feeling in my nose, almost like a buzzing feeling or pseudo-numbness and sort of spreads into my face until it feels like my face is...in the wrong place? Like everything is an inch farther forward than the should be or ""I"" am an inch farther back. I was in control and conscious, and even squished my nose but started to freak out a little bit because what I was physically feeling (or that my nose and face were exactly as they should be) didn't match up with what I was perceiving, if that makes sense? Plus everything else (like the other cars, etc) felt very out of tune, or fuzzed. They weren't *literally* like visually fuzzy, just... perceptually fuzzy? Almost like when you're zoned out except not being able to unzone. 

I don't really like to think about it because I feel like it might trigger the feeling again. I think initially it was triggered because I was thinking about some really theoretical literature and art criticism stuff about form and reality for a big term paper I have coming up. 

My question is - have any of y'all experienced anything like this? I'm going to see my general doc in case it's a neurological thing (maybe I can get a referral for an MRI), but am wondering if I should consider also a psychologist?",5.6867781954887215,6.8448629785714274,6.2137969924812015,76.76067669172934,67.42857142857143,9.180451127819552,32.951127819548866,9.414487439383343,3.0299642857142866,1174,51,215,23,19,381,154,280,0.062,0.809,0.129,0.9452,0,1,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,2,1,10,14,0,0,15,0,29,10,8,4,1,60,51,22,0,5,12,0,9,10,0,4,2,0,0,0,17,16,0,1,15,1,0,6,4,4,0,1,14,14,26,10,31,30,6,34,0,0,1,0,4,19,0,16,21,148,43,1,0.10539859269601327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108293157977187,0.1091611554806483,0.0,0.08428721649953913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167465730503671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673406124670853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104501191637299,0.0,0.257000015332484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506796522786915,0.11707407607338795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079155497841954,0.0,0.0,0.11821348393282513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804699974550081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754729171578407,0.06961477643791472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945091794937446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730488673833154,0.2258903270449995,0.10119917769469226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506641451717825,0.0,0.05990044914066619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640725487377352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5149242850271442,0.10563707908521393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035437905807411,0.0,0.10588705289686982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181125084897914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101190964204048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807054542064067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350420747325536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398903237692462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492033327876353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206561722445635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002214165099796,0.20260548717288168,0.0,0.0,0.061458766994075376,0.0,0.09990554194185304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696487720779629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430027777587512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523681536481685,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CompleteTumbleweed,2018/04/04,"How to stop relying on food to cope i'm hoping this is the correct place for this, i figured it is but please redirect me elsewhere if that isn't the case!

anyway, i've been through a lot in my life and i'm going to save the details for another post another day, but essentially i'm 19F who has pretty bad anxiety/depression. the majority of my life has been unstable, i've been homeless countless times, evicted, etc. my mother passed when i was three, and my father is a whole different story. he's not in my life as of rn bc he's in jail. i only give you this brief background  to possibly help, idkidk.

i have been trying to go to therapy but have been waitlisted, yet i see someone on my campus biweekly. but i haven't brought this issue up because it's just kind of embarrassing and i don't like talking about it.

but i use food to cope. a lot. and i'm seeing the effects and i don't know how to stop. i've tried countless times to lose weight, but i can never stop myself from falling back into my own ways. i get depressed and i eat and i eat to make myself feel better. my go-to are usually ice cream or something chocolate. it's awful.

but food is so comforting to me. i eat until i feel like i'm going to throw up, and then instantly feel guilty afterwards. but it's not enough to stop me from doing it time and time again. i don't know how to get into a healthy mindset and to stop using food as a comfort/crutch. i weigh the most i've ever weighed, and even as a young teenager when i was 120lbs, i felt i was fat. now i'm 5""5 and somewhere between 170-180. and i just can't fucking believe i got to this point. i'm just so disgusted with myself but i don't know how to change. i always just feel so shitty constantly, and whenever i feel shitty i just continue to eat bc i'm like ""fuck it"".

sorry if this was long, i just feel so trapped. ",1.228510580575147,3.214525654639175,3.32457948996202,89.41306836679328,81.11340206185567,6.455344546934347,23.61258817145957,7.573540080772713,1.0964268041237115,1446,52,311,23,38,491,184,388,0.2,0.728,0.071,-0.995,2,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,0,3,24,15,3,1,12,1,27,17,1,8,3,69,61,41,0,3,20,2,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,15,17,12,5,12,0,0,8,10,7,0,1,12,11,42,8,42,49,8,48,0,2,3,2,9,11,2,7,30,199,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875810898438099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329791129080135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354044652063473,0.06899593969271349,0.05037292038060945,0.0,0.0,0.09310022250570736,0.0,0.07308305921444454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741581679146716,0.0,0.0,0.08929799943846728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532920948771416,0.0,0.14234508894793307,0.0,0.0,0.08633494389785867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33822085285982645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538301309061098,0.09215875507081407,0.0545789787021506,0.0747471853127782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25069340442932875,0.05903374723806538,0.07934160025637241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39968545085630297,0.0,0.0,0.15278760582379075,0.08634571046327404,0.07927006400500894,0.18785122959137124,0.0,0.06608995982128238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055387829407444696,0.0,0.0,0.08207420880441056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624842865936308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605059658027008,0.1362404586035739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510051727596687,0.1211123974984576,0.0,0.0,0.07312849105576066,0.0,0.09244631080629193,0.0,0.14050494624276752,0.0,0.0,0.05515883771656163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373243624122442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284688183045874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633494389785867,0.0907073192072136,0.07811584116053114,0.09315742079181416,0.07914053136349464,0.08406848706419881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316972011941354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001552137919861,0.0636156915464578,0.0,0.0925019994207284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454286271224944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641808034769801,0.0,0.0,0.09449918242859076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273820337965905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220612566568572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273849163578475,0.09100967829387788,0.0,0.0,0.06559102415609795,0.0,0.10062595219183426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225791173102492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kindofademigod,2018/04/05,"My sister died today. I don't know what to do. I stayed home from school today because I wasn't feeling well. My mom didn't have work until 3, so at around 10 we were sitting at the table when her phone rings. My sister's in the hospital again, which isn't a surprise. She's 35 almost, and has had brain tumours and cancer since she was 9. She was in a wheelchair since age 16 and she was not expected to even live past 15. But today, on the phone, my mother started sobbing and said ""she's gone."" I screamed at the top of my lungs for my dad, and he came rushing downstairs. He fell to the ground so distraught, and my mom ran outside and started screaming. When she came back inside she fell to the floor crying and we all sat there sobbing. According to her carestaff she was normal when she woke up, took her medicine and was about to eat breakfast when she suddenly changed and couldn't move or speak, and she was shifting in and out of consciousness. They got her to the hospital and they tried to revive her, with no luck. It's really hard watching my mom be this upset. I wasn't very close to Alison, but I love my mom more than anything, and of course I cared about Ali. My mom is absolutely destroyed. It was so hard being at the hospital, I couldn't look at her body, I did not want to. I'm going to be missing school today and tomorrow, too, maybe some next week. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if this isn't 'mental health' but I need help. I feel so alone and lost. ",3.3584988038277537,4.378235125,4.0833014354067005,90.399019138756,72.75,6.974641148325357,25.002392344497608,7.1686216300943375,0.8754986842105272,1154,34,252,11,22,368,162,304,0.14300000000000002,0.7979999999999999,0.058,-0.9464,0,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,2,3,17,14,1,2,10,0,27,8,3,0,1,46,52,30,1,7,7,9,4,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,7,24,2,0,5,0,0,10,12,9,1,0,23,11,43,5,34,24,3,47,0,4,2,1,38,16,2,5,19,162,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854768437148112,0.10192751271191848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098656606696898,0.08760957322978552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567450569729561,0.0,0.059992430948591476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931607790943376,0.0,0.10986288277095893,0.0,0.22511943432003986,0.10033991627206372,0.0,0.10410925777286388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810346415612113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213848385241447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070237643188916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500170302402862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952243282605208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593110263767078,0.0,0.07871088912485832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631972665967938,0.0,0.0,0.10460977637573456,0.0,0.0,0.06596501664012294,0.0,0.09871754591273428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817182781836633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690161127212404,0.0,0.08264320797820389,0.0,0.1074308109135834,0.0,0.08882272902682756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887037089934976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917844581181827,0.0,0.0,0.576308069846579,0.0,0.10459880364757924,0.0,0.07297294077656974,0.0,0.0,0.1046647020599726,0.0,0.09642509795908026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939475649856622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304670708339252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361451584495592,0.0,0.0,0.1992010086005948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281861692661745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101667278951508,0.13931626623417614,0.10489652683502172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731409163427024,0.0,0.10934188495140312,0.0668168352672963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120208684177481,0.05804729150139255,0.0,0.07894199824876402,0.0,0.08848625578056503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716467671230784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,howdoistopobsessing,2018/04/05,"I worry while I talk and it impedes my ability to talk clearly I exercise a little and am on Risperione, Altruline and Aripiprazol for having irrational fears of things like bad luck numbers and other annoying things. I'm seeing a therapist too (just started). What do you think is causing my talking issue and what can I do about it? I want to be socially functional and make more friends and enjoy life.",5.23,7.311567933333332,6.277000000000001,72.32350000000002,69.66666666666666,10.333333333333336,35.16666666666667,10.504223727775694,4.467666666666667,325,17,52,10,6,108,56,75,0.163,0.625,0.212,0.5198,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,1,1,2,0,7,2,0,2,1,14,13,8,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,4,6,12,1,4,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,3,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771176608600346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23094771023753136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25298022852139457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736920957635504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346492407799105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879401738145885,0.10983362272522468,0.22532444919408845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006626316186691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791490509067276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291713519980064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912574954470646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5420951675258565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26102842092620737,0.2987151980257653,0.14405285907897167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260215793715036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22831131350446904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway69692527,2018/04/05,"Will antidepressant/other mental health medicine change me in ways i don't want? i am 19 years old sophomore in college and have suffered from an undiagnosed mental illness for as long as since 5th grade where i remember an incident involving me trying to suffocate myself with my pillow, for the utterly ridiculous reason of my mom not letting me go outside to play with my friends. it was not until about senior year that i realized that maybe something was wrong with me mentally. i have never really talked about this subject with anyone except one counselor at my college a few months ago. i had a meeting in which they got my general story and told me they think i am depressed. 

they wanted me to start one on one therapy when i came back from christmas break, but i never started. one of my biggest fears, more so than just living with my mental issues, is being prescribed medicine that will fix my depression/whatever is wrong with me, but will change who i truly am. i have heard stories in passing of people that get put onto medication and turn to ""zombies"", ""weirdos"", or just described as ""not themselves"". I have no idea how true these stories are, its just word of mouth, but the thought just terrifies me. I for the most part love who i am when i am feeling mentally healthy (not counting my ""bad days"" where i do not like myself) and do not want to change. 

on my good days i am very energetic and playful and happy and very very individualistic. i would hate for any of this to change. however on my bad days i am very quiet, introverted, and do my best to hide away from people, responsibilities, work to do. these are the problems i want fixed.

does anyone have any advice for me? can anyone attest to my fears as nonsense? thank you for any help. sorry if this post is redundant at all.",6.852,7.154141964705883,6.900588235294119,75.86764705882355,64.64705882352942,9.505882352941176,33.47058823529412,9.255337874911486,2.93125294117647,1428,56,258,23,20,457,185,340,0.15,0.71,0.14,0.5007,1,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,3,2,13,21,2,2,8,0,32,5,1,2,4,52,51,22,0,7,16,1,1,1,1,4,3,2,1,0,14,15,0,0,7,2,0,4,10,11,0,4,8,3,48,10,49,37,6,39,0,2,0,1,15,14,0,3,19,194,62,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819641759678858,0.07435239161111977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111884101882774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594741008502135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880572398760298,0.06449666233010498,0.14006850968741905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802431912165191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593357766592414,0.0,0.0,0.3549253256241208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228225184278655,0.0,0.07224361520061195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340181360724292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877113741042464,0.0424110120383768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480359091325771,0.0,0.043822560560652216,0.0,0.04766954745633988,0.07035251357681861,0.06708454308106226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892892169771146,0.0,0.08281172032271569,0.0,0.0891579186565425,0.0,0.0,0.0562213570427036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468754996569374,0.0,0.08754637533021731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577048284921249,0.0,0.040978336546159566,0.0,0.07406541775879125,0.07422899668798838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757027681713214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426627789093688,0.0,0.0,0.08449781227990166,0.4226442360612641,0.0,0.0,0.09823637864961356,0.06695026414956326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293830825815901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801538423210539,0.0,0.2273504081009898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083121823945522,0.0,0.11630027091341899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033151177681411,0.0,0.0,0.0802594922083173,0.0,0.08432010989491691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053734109530205,0.08624009631046196,0.0,0.0,0.09501691884456977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938438024938459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457303971314643,0.0,0.09389405564785902,0.11873793026596248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674176014707123,0.0,0.07722318332422229,0.09592129412544334,0.0,0.0,0.05374535040642786,0.0,0.06658940944337374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801485982807279,0.0,0.056947353966727884,0.09123469377619613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768310689194749,0.19789262048797404,0.06657809896736855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061063859005107364,0.0,0.0,0.05958420849591309,0.1834138781113493,0.0,0.10802879075188283
mentalhealth,Zappawhappa,2018/04/05,"I keep having crazy thought with hitting people with tennis balls lol I been walking about back and forth work etc..And I keep getting this idea, carry a bag of tennis balls and throw then at people across the street and stuff. haha

Weird the thoughts we get..i actually want to do it. I don't even care if I get beaten up or whatever",2.7121393034825867,4.717956955223883,3.382910447761194,90.6978482587065,76.4626865671642,5.6606965174129344,21.61442786069652,6.42735559955562,0.2892308457711445,264,7,54,2,6,83,51,67,0.141,0.754,0.105,-0.3459,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,14,13,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,3,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,6,2,8,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,32,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.2313891541671706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823261041098024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417536243152883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26444489599572263,0.15661162453152352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37164698685857983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676729534403969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4215158075949429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287701182741768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714389115625297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764842136060673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985603759223722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262188634394995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NothinButJack,2018/04/05,"My brother has a mental illness and I don't know what to do. I will preface by saying my brother is 27yrs old and I am his younger brother 20yrs old. As long as I can remember he was always fighting with my parents, stealing money, and being a huge asshole when he didn't get his way. My parents thought he was fine until middle school when he got into a fight and was bullied a few times until he graduated high school. He is the tallest and largest person in our family and he has always abused his good genes by shoving my dad and beating the crap out of me when I was younger. It had gotten so bad that my dad had to file a restraining order against him and he is not allowed at our house. 

Now: I am a sophomore in college and I kept my distance from him since the freshman year but now my family and I are starting to see more odd behavior. He tries to be manipulative and get us to do things for him, he gets visibly upset when I talked to him in person, and he gets very moody when he doesn't like what we are talking about. I can't explain everything he does but something is off about him. We are almost certain that he has narcissistic disorder but just the other day for my mom's birthday he snuck into our house and flipped a bunch of pictures and objects as a ""prank"". My parents are getting scared and I am worried about what he'll do next. I want to help him and I want to fix whatever's wrong before its too late. Can anyone share ideas or thoughts on what is the right thing to do here? 
What might be wrong with him? What can we do to help him? Anything helps thanks.

P.S. He won't go in for mental health evaluation. Don't know why. He also won't acknowledge his past of being abusive, untrustworthy, and mean; He thinks my parents owe him more and he should be able to use their money whenever he'd like.",4.249891891891892,5.020233935135135,4.979837837837838,85.72002702702706,70.45945945945945,7.6497297297297315,29.394594594594594,7.699297019823105,1.69556,1436,54,298,16,25,464,189,370,0.151,0.779,0.069,-0.9866,6,0,1,0,5,0,31.0,7,0,1,1,15,17,3,2,13,0,45,3,1,3,1,53,69,34,0,3,6,10,0,2,0,6,2,1,0,2,13,26,0,2,10,0,3,1,8,10,0,0,12,2,47,7,41,45,4,37,0,0,1,0,64,15,1,3,21,197,60,4,0.0936322141033818,0.22187772571910555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375913727923177,0.0,0.0,0.07487764779008722,0.1558190057085959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546982115849942,0.0,0.07705133422540303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817898775612793,0.0,0.0,0.07967411786354807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038503209687361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731062927708072,0.0,0.08193818153822563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415059659610154,0.0,0.17653623680602476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24459483670947685,0.0,0.05321334503017264,0.0785342588396076,0.07488623508401436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952666515217096,0.0,0.0,0.1882790982933922,0.09892757496549999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21607800754719428,0.0,0.1056993727704468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291563235455048,0.0,0.10562121584079494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148794053018898,0.0,0.0,0.08286156304754548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199293038273093,0.0,0.0,0.18871849856884385,0.09932898258758764,0.0,0.10966091751519944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957892193325593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965025161355225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158699725453176,0.0,0.08938254306753998,0.0,0.16351207558442965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606704606983954,0.07996139924656198,0.0,0.07446009477690195,0.09374218058930202,0.18952159891592074,0.0746127520367692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774535350749203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208265287288154,0.0,0.0,0.06627336306473484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051605394212994,0.0,0.08620396286169467,0.0,0.0,0.12441016509495698,0.059995742094346424,0.0,0.1486670383565564,0.054597697014001835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357012719624286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126280249359198,0.08086817021133114,0.0,0.07725638259402197,0.11045341161038284,0.07432089333443795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448850966903072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508805843781508,0.0,0.0,0.20474425498166135,0.0,0.06029607602985253
mentalhealth,Anxious_Blonde,2018/04/05,"Why am I such a slow learner and stupid sometimes? I am only 20 and have always had a bad time memorizing literally the most simple things. I've lived in my parents house for over 10 years and I sometimes can't remember which cabinet is for glasses or bowls and plates. I still sometimes can't remember for a second which dresser drawer has either pants or shirts and sometimes mix them up. I also get kinda lost in almost every building I go into and it takes me an emmense amount of concentration to remember where I'm supposed to go. In high school I would sometimes feel unsure of which classroom is mine, even when I'd been in that class for the whole school year.
Is anybody else like this? I seriously beat myself up trying to figure out what is wrong with me.",5.460604026845636,6.482656167785232,5.901536912751678,79.29002348993289,67.85906040268456,8.10765100671141,29.66510067114094,8.238735603445708,2.112253154362416,615,22,112,8,10,198,103,149,0.112,0.871,0.017,-0.9143,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,6,6,1,0,6,0,13,1,1,0,0,22,20,10,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,3,1,14,1,19,16,4,19,0,1,0,0,2,11,0,5,7,78,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807310997762786,0.0,0.0,0.10228137223282796,0.10642282573104504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679093672770013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068438172353517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844765690155445,0.0,0.10776104338947376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466994920207722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682233290726249,0.0,0.14537673421695113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513309268880164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147579122565521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248535027713501,0.0,0.1129378096367393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396176698506256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727351219478426,0.0,0.0,0.14201752030729095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346564031145482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588827210387645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6324805437537087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214089394755492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616468374215184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497090107115697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457936428504597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868355248134266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154096177150352,0.14279548707035158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085630244309904,0.13983828268096798,0.0,0.16472647254831874
mentalhealth,MsMNnice,2018/04/05,"My family needs help. My Brother (24) is going down a dangerous path. He's got a police record. 2 DWI's, fleeing police, stealing gas. He just keeps doing dumb shit. Today he was arrested for fleeing a police officer in a motor vehicle. It looks like he will be facing felony charges. We suspect he's got a mental health issue, but can't get him into a doctor because he's an adult. We also suspect he may be on the autism spectrum. They tried kicking him out. He lived in his car for about 4 months, but he didn't change his ways. He convinced my parents to let him move back in. My parents have bent over backwards for him, and it's like he doesn't even appreciate it. My Dad is to the point where he doesn't care what happens too him. He wants to wash is hands of everything. My Mother on the other-hand just wants help for him. But everything we do gets us nowhere. We are so lost. What do we do? I'm afraid for his future.",0.9670200501253134,3.2415101631578933,2.657518796992484,92.12429824561407,84.21052631578948,5.303258145363408,21.152882205513784,6.655083550727371,0.4065513784461148,721,23,152,8,21,237,117,190,0.149,0.78,0.071,-0.9094,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,6,0,1,1,9,10,3,1,10,0,19,6,3,0,0,20,33,6,0,3,5,5,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,5,8,0,1,2,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,5,2,22,4,19,23,0,23,0,1,1,0,37,13,2,1,6,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864545628892549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369696106858882,0.0,0.0980631631099392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640148502109673,0.0,0.17017618664233766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465441437344827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625128045788593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891541659118182,0.0,0.1516512965198102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809296393827985,0.0,0.0914245472995862,0.0,0.25732041981741177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225434979771667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709943304750976,0.0,0.0,0.21565181087172147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790358120381715,0.0,0.14298617495404273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449762971503265,0.0,0.15718319420817015,0.0,0.14204870091024224,0.0,0.13508794785862085,0.0,0.17560557168752486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211631958986228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284026788185395,0.17097639453861624,0.0,0.11928100396726302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572480169578586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207151809574293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512788777636986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248331316021504,0.0,0.0,0.10921828156824596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350345645766984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897673064613459,0.1276889100685009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GunPenguin,2018/04/05,"Going to CBT tomorrow, I'm concerned that some of the things I'll say will land me in hospital against my will. I've only been depressed for about a month, but it's come on incredibly strongly.
 
I get very strong (though passing) urges to kill myself, typically slashing my wrists with a sharp object. I have already given 2 pencil sharpeners to my girlfriend, though there is another lying around in my room somewhere.

I spent a good 15 minutes earlier today nearly transfixed looking for it, determined to do something horrible to myself. I don't know if I would have gone through with it, as I didn't find it, but it is a scary thought.

I will be telling my therapist about it tomorrow, but I am a little apprehensive about being potentially hospitalised.",7.741214285714285,8.001848264285716,7.754999999999999,70.63250000000005,62.78571428571429,11.0,38.92857142857143,10.686352973137794,4.382857142857144,607,30,102,14,8,196,97,140,0.16699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.1,-0.9016,0,0,1,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,1,1,6,0,15,1,1,0,0,13,25,7,1,2,4,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,1,4,2,3,0,0,6,3,16,3,21,13,1,16,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,2,4,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23780652137488706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596760612021144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183819807430866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563175832345755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185607424538188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196960538807614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125883938635248,0.0,0.1224720261811763,0.1807488290628982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384157257374889,0.0,0.1184316266251636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21598480981412266,0.0,0.0,0.18096337554385974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720078108832869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638953329970386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137202466409238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590027454298428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883540532017506,0.0,0.0,0.25020886127303915,0.14316676566822284,0.0,0.4234498141691581,0.17108070732593678,0.0,0.0,0.20426615031907167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780776055993286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308302957102246,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stellbell95,2018/04/05,"How to not let other people control your mood I suffer from depression (currently taking antidepressants and start therapy next week) but I constantly feel like I need to be around people to be happy. Like when I’m alone, I get down and my negative thoughts consume me. How can I find my own inner happiness? I don’t have a lot of friends but I feel like my neediness pushes them away.. any advice much appreciated. ",4.128736263736266,6.495602679487183,5.3967399267399285,76.2173076923077,73.48717948717949,9.072527472527472,27.809523809523807,9.606745405546679,2.9509062271062274,331,13,58,9,7,110,59,78,0.125,0.585,0.29,0.9593,1,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,1,5,9,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,3,0,15,14,7,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,2,13,6,8,10,3,11,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,9,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835502739600064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945405029507156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773430090169666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672130515692168,0.0,0.0,0.17647724822132782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298300036664,0.21067302300519364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178208595824972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18995012849553292,0.2683788486331185,0.0,0.0,0.17167786740772628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451209229551832,0.0,0.09813608081277177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39990788766656304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207410357938925,0.0,0.2753002080721197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596906746738644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380804021779865,0.13927733761727207,0.0,0.0,0.19976474690874094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604423985930746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295064198718198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412286097247105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21480579298719227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491200783980938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506699774638306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sentrixs,2018/04/05,"Depression and Gaming: The Kindness Community! Hey, i'm Sentrix and i'm the creator of The Kindness Community, we are a community of gamers that suffer from depression,autism,bipolar and other types of mental illnesses, when I was a kid I was bullied at school for being different, I didn't understand why people bullied me or didn't like me, I felt hopeless and I NEVER want this to happen to anyone else ever again. Recently I decided to create a community for gamers like me to join and have fun together without being judged or bullied because it's something I would have loved to have when I was younger. We have a new discord server for everyone to have a safe space to just chill out and have fun, the link is https://discord.gg/rARMwWK, I hope everyone has a wonderful day.",8.096637931034483,8.113733172413795,8.40564655172414,67.08088362068968,62.103448275862064,11.663793103448276,38.81465517241379,11.20814326018867,4.6512931034482765,630,30,103,16,8,208,85,145,0.205,0.613,0.182,-0.5905,1,0,1,0,0,1,19.0,2,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,10,0,17,2,0,0,2,24,26,10,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,1,14,9,17,17,0,11,0,3,0,1,6,3,0,4,10,76,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075475838190498,0.191603613899892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399347340896032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059953948240255,0.0,0.16106283881575878,0.0,0.0,0.1953752146415769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621451712744494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915221942595107,0.0,0.3573730558846266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954933981812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653634955951301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185733208799792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38946347835231504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827175230847558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877481441129502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845203214184733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442259396727154,0.1806057796570019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964226483088856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463995485949572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189253998528652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439617474607499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19467361041603332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029745378873528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873842745157974,0.0,0.0,0.18026134124824786,0.202793539267686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283944528928449,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymous590,2018/04/05,"Should i tell them? Apologies if this is a common thread, I've looked for answers to my question but can't see anything that would answer.

I'm 35, suffer from health anxiety and depression and live about 200 miles away from my parents. 

I've just started treatment but have not told my parents of my diagnoses or treatment, mainly just because I don't want them to worry or burden them. 

However, my Husband ended up telling his parents and it feels wrong that my parents don't know. Plus my parents have made a couple of comments lately that have upset me (nothing big but I'm so sensitive at the moment) and I know they wouldn't if they knew what I'm going through. I'm not a person to keep secrets, especially from my family so finding it difficult 'lying' to them but it feels wrong to burden them. 

What would you do? 

If I were to tell them has anyone got any advice on how to go about it? ",4.19108213820078,5.512303440677972,4.986666666666668,83.56114732724903,71.09039548022601,7.254063450673621,28.869621903520212,7.61054688173877,1.7789499348109516,707,27,134,8,13,229,102,177,0.214,0.7859999999999999,0.0,-0.9916,6,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,8,0,7,8,0,1,4,0,14,2,0,2,0,36,33,17,0,8,13,6,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,10,5,0,1,10,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,5,4,23,0,21,24,1,13,0,2,2,0,25,6,0,6,5,93,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635788560661355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097450824616496,0.0,0.09109140222655776,0.0,0.0,0.08325941739666963,0.0,0.09798788332890207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187408777816077,0.0,0.0,0.07258649934048014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175328706160866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255839473838664,0.12085776026567276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546435775262893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225251547798036,0.0,0.12041494052610675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883161994826636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353451720668084,0.0,0.0952344789369512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657025801157853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583857959347684,0.0,0.0,0.1308800824444792,0.0,0.13432083271378892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514465991044812,0.0,0.09999230013775433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267084402404487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425486263319892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6610887851493128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039709587530501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333903043736076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948866845061955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428129938417347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31222817815995985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378045737851775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023302139386657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092558383115667,0.0,0.169173725820034,0.2603777906131524,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zozzie777,2018/04/05,"Understanding Bipolar Hi, I’m doing my project on bipolar disorder/ manic depression. If you are bipolar 1 or 2, know anyone who is or anyone who experiences it through family members or friends who suffer who would be willing to discuss it with me that would be amazing. Please drop me a private message if you are willing to help out, won’t take much of your time and I’d be very grateful, thank you x 

(more than happy to keep people's identities private in the project itself) 
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mentalhealth,Squiggyline91,2018/04/05,"Mental health and work I have a friend who has manic depression issues and due to this does not have a job, no income, nor are they pursuing college. This individual just stays home all day and sleeps or plays video games. While I understand mental health can severely impact your role in society, I was curious what is suggested to help them get back on track and such. I feel like sleeping all day or playing video games is not going to help fix the issue. This has been going on basically ever since they graduated high school and just are staying with their parents.

Any professionals here able to give advice?",6.181438053097348,7.757322575221237,6.209015486725665,75.70520464601773,66.61061946902655,9.543805309734514,28.28429203539823,9.827888789773867,2.71811592920354,493,16,86,11,8,156,83,113,0.055,0.79,0.155,0.8551,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,4,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,11,4,2,0,3,17,17,9,0,0,6,1,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,2,6,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,1,9,4,8,15,2,14,0,1,0,0,15,4,0,2,7,56,14,6,0.15195141010847385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848515933846804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333216950964004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684125497262693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19599217778689684,0.0,0.13087552686984616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329737029684083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744874982551933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683119857987028,0.10855411774282107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173972825180368,0.0,0.07938834021850719,0.14576563853856256,0.17271497617253154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32303448675406393,0.0,0.0,0.2036996543949047,0.16054500749092668,0.1524196536994888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31719558787502194,0.15078832804544476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742357836168071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062625640725301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872405868844806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537829393283921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716618421732608,0.0,0.1256957766642752,0.0,0.3041222951992065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239199707943854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818677677721835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062243629152893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asj1330,2018/04/05,"I have frequent strong urges to torture people to death I'm finding myself frequently fantasizing about brutally torchering people to death. I have very specific means of torture. Ripping off their noses with channel locks. Stomping on their face repeatedely, cutting all their tendons so they can't even fight back. I just imagine myself beating them to the point they're begging to be killed. Then I would do the same thing to their loved ones just so they can also experience the psychological torment of seeing their loved ones tortured to death. After that I would them stare in the eyes and kill them. The blood, the screams, the pleading geninuinely brings my heart happiness. I had the living shit beaten out of me as a kid. I was the one kid everybody thought was cool to bully as a kid. The school staff never cared to help me, it felt like they were out to get me just like everyone else. As an adult it still feels like the world is out to get me, I genuinely feel like everyone hates me. I'm not always like this, I'm normally just another loser that just hides at home all day and doesn't go out and talk to anyone. But man sometimes I slip into this state where its like I can't even control my body, it's like something takes over me and the only way I can stop it is violence. Like not tward a being, but to stop myself I have to hit the punching bag for quite awhile, or swing my sword for some time cutting up some mats. I don't like how much rage I build when this happens. It happens out of nowhere too, it's not like something triggers it, it just randomly happens. ",5.202099567099567,6.273998214285713,5.148181818181822,84.2756060606061,68.48051948051948,8.074458874458875,29.6017316017316,8.269060116576782,1.95999393939394,1262,46,247,17,21,392,174,308,0.171,0.7290000000000001,0.1,-0.9643,0,0,2,0,1,0,28.0,0,0,11,6,18,31,13,0,17,1,20,10,8,3,3,45,42,16,5,3,12,0,3,10,0,2,0,1,1,5,15,11,0,3,7,1,0,2,8,15,0,3,6,9,37,16,38,31,6,31,0,1,3,2,21,15,1,4,22,165,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295060164102211,0.08630933697909925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876700977021844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252846763632717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975981148343778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521753179389214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575678998336344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633887108328893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689546066658382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665076277155444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702167015236175,0.0,0.0,0.19823156295480931,0.0,0.10146510195794604,0.0,0.0,0.10489517450343504,0.14820545994557718,0.09959437532733484,0.0,0.0948047785107686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838635807694104,0.0,0.05895055621884102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751768521525814,0.11041952957423434,0.0,0.10240913192923398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291722739146856,0.06952615340183274,0.0,0.10404683558294693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295175491381527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5067586879299582,0.0,0.09159301496328516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723568941336136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298932576109115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625142450116852,0.0,0.08000080859251567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163062929346772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21086469868015356,0.07888920713661372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382275529314115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805572837469403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032664161125973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497746068437093,0.08265714608040567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647447670439186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970852718154033,0.10258884972951512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283667319025423,0.17344116189882675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779899428301751,0.08337199150628975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891174034884535,0.0,0.0,0.0823478076557438,0.06048416248627478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855858003812922,0.0,0.0823338205531346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736964876415318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rj_The_Myth,2018/04/05,"Therapist Specialization Question(s) Hello all! I am a 30 year old male that was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was young, and also deal with anxiety and depression (Who doesn't?). I have been seeing a social worker (unsure his exact title) but he is supposed to be a short term therapist for people who are at risk or something like that. His schedule is also really packed because he works for a public health clinic. My Question is, when I am looking for a therapist, should I focus on someone who has experience with adult aspergers? I feel like when I have talked to some therapists in the past that did not have that experience, some of the...quirks... associated with aspergers mudded the water a bit in regards to other problems. 

I mainly ask because the right combination of therapists that are listed with that specialization and who take my insurance  is a rather small list, and it limits me on other preferences I might have.

Thanks a bunch in advance for reading and replying. ",7.776527068437183,8.730999471910112,8.023156281920329,66.362139938713,62.70786516853932,11.19182839632278,35.2829417773238,11.022393298168332,4.331274157303371,798,34,123,21,11,261,110,178,0.057,0.879,0.064,0.477,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,6,8,0,1,11,0,21,4,0,0,2,25,27,12,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,2,13,10,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,3,14,5,20,20,7,19,0,1,2,0,17,9,0,5,11,98,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353139961242916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256662365360334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312105511945887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752406928749195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321034510685592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474832137415826,0.10421932362677032,0.12281504660895708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367274354286065,0.0,0.0,0.061182527711168624,0.08644424972828303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862005801554566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182314729497296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161167123203067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836458936413958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697182703202578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551063081784806,0.08388793624563798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578310372967072,0.0,0.0,0.2711011094830071,0.0,0.12103530037225305,0.0,0.07751733541260157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333552113267676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642337037010072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334686698075414,0.10252507249034548,0.09315367876788774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097886267863324,0.09725727050488572,0.0,0.11140289577158873,0.0,0.7024664652338678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809130143723551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779216784287102
mentalhealth,xDongleberries,2018/04/05,"Having a rough time 19(m) I'm extremely depressed and anxious, I spend all my time in bed hiding from the world or on youtube/xbox escaping reality, I hate interactions with people and I rarely leave my house unless it's to go drinking and partying, the drink and drugs make my mood a lot worse, I feel like I'm wasting my life away but I don't know what to do I feel trapped, I feel useless and I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself but I don't know how to help myself, I can't focus on anything, even writing this post is difficult I'm struggling to explain myself. I'm 19 and I feel like a piece of shit because I can't man up and face the world, I want to become independent and not depending on my mother for everything. I'm living a horrible life right now and I need to change. ",2.4397883597883587,4.217994777777779,4.07347442680776,86.46777777777778,76.53086419753086,7.344620811287477,26.386243386243386,8.192908349453996,1.6710391534391538,622,24,130,11,14,208,96,162,0.259,0.659,0.08199999999999999,-0.9862,0,1,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,11,2,3,7,0,7,7,2,4,1,32,25,15,0,2,5,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,11,2,0,7,2,1,1,5,8,0,0,0,5,21,2,18,25,3,14,0,2,0,0,6,9,1,3,5,76,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642042607129028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579360948776398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503739514971732,0.0,0.0,0.10059185289716002,0.18224653867392185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456440716820654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212751752224698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32330452927470543,0.19136546875182664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089911117997709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830519636304973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33374696655931285,0.23577406166927314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937820515012258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629185388706086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060634058833302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040560991404645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18137629063316865,0.0,0.0,0.1747274764812036,0.0,0.0,0.2331105065043492,0.16123637305037558,0.0,0.14571161660547652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029018743587135,0.0,0.0,0.11014905722437608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235682415270115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440089720170185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803913350602952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092224531269654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938593116558145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250991906187646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244360715576805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733035510413401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681647847009884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omalik,2018/04/05,"what am I doing with my life I feel like I am throwing my life away and there is nothing I can do to stop from going down the depressing path I find myself on now. I hate myself, and my job, and my career path all so fucking much. I want to be like my favorite artists and just run away following my passions but the success/failure rate is terrifying plus I'm starting at basically zero and have no friends to do it with or anyone who will support me. I have no creative achievements and in the past I haven't been the type to be driven above all else to create so I'm not sure if I'm even a creative person. I'm sure as hell not talented, but I really fucking hate I.T. and the thought of working for anyone ever again is sickening. Jobs in general make me feel like I'm not worth more than my measly paycheck. I work 40 hours and go to night school for I.T. and the few hours I have in-between aren't even spent on hobbies, I just sleep cause I'm constantly exhausted but I need to work to pay bills and I need to graduate. 
I'm 21 so I am still young but at the same time I feel like it's too late to get started on the creative pursuits that I think inspire me.
It probably sounds like I'm whining and people tell me that I should just do it if i really want to but while everything in me wants to be this perfect version of myself, everything else about me suggests that i would fail and be worse off then I am now which despite being miserable is considerably stable.
I just want to be free but this world seems to want anything but that for me. What should I do? where should i start? Should i drop out and quite my job, move to the city with no money and figure it out or is that crazy in today's economy? Is the creative market too saturated for a complete noob to make it? Can someone who is too depressed to find interest in practice compete at all? 

TL;DR: I want to be like Jean-Michel Basquiat but I'm a sad pos and I feel trapped in I.T. mediocrity. How do I escape and s e l f a c t u a  l i z e ? ? ? ?",1.9658700209643603,3.5423636792452835,3.5863522012578635,90.32772536687632,77.30188679245283,6.5979035639413,25.22117400419288,7.3871296695380915,1.0667208595387847,1576,57,348,20,36,524,203,424,0.175,0.645,0.179,-0.2782,4,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,10,21,29,5,2,15,0,38,7,1,4,7,80,78,36,0,15,19,0,4,6,1,6,3,1,0,1,18,22,0,1,12,1,6,7,8,13,0,1,4,5,48,17,50,61,8,48,1,6,0,3,6,20,3,5,26,233,66,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938125949600102,0.0,0.07613430502426062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738471254578295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950413140512944,0.0,0.0,0.09700320232157816,0.09997892500649623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937097205380246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545735790239926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222143307332111,0.08368768933040274,0.0,0.0,0.16629815054153504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711921311170407,0.1982843050823546,0.0,0.0,0.16911927205558422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147905906801406,0.17106251742072706,0.04833675650812813,0.0,0.10516004901451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826844397062653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182222885927301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754290621370595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436416117509856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069618278436893,0.2711972806333474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351276252968353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833182969496893,0.06801126276232053,0.13720162247665962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682173204982441,0.0,0.0887733693871437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831875354475871,0.0641402260051735,0.08078301539385062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974988698121873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840411849870112,0.0,0.0,0.11853860364675825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363300042501514,0.0,0.08422477315349727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258466225188912,0.0,0.07839007150529935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645382481477847,0.0,0.07388487209983226,0.07734906274126402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498815635463588,0.17439395172958072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086467614031384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059281700630978935,0.0,0.0734488361498085,0.05394790057659688,0.0,0.08769610109896417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32741653918340474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206228342759894,0.0,0.09428359008247604,0.06572202402026016,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrZNF,2018/04/05,"Is it normal to care and not care at the same time? I really love and care about my significant other, and other people and things in my life, but at the same, I can imagine a tomorrow where they wouldn't be a part of my life, while not feeling sad thinking about it. I haven't told anyone about this, because I'm not even sure if it's how I truly feel, and I recently figured it may have something to do with the fact I lost my dad at 13 (I'm now 26).  
It's like life taught me not to care about things, because whoever or whatever you like may not be there tomorrow, and my way of cooping with that is by rationalizing that I better not care about anything at all?  
This is also the time I started escaping from reality by playing video games (I find the virtual world more comfortable, and easier to understand), which is what I continue to do today. I can't seem to make myself care about much going on in the world, as I see humans that don't seem to care much about or realize the consequences of their actions. Combined with my inability to change this, it's hard to feel motivated about anything, so I better just disconnect. But at the same time, I'm still interested to know what's going on, out of self-interest and out of curiosity. So I care, but I don't really.

Does this make sense to anybody? I'm confused :(",7.1626865240023125,5.675778131578947,8.005037593984962,74.11465876229036,64.67669172932331,11.79363794100636,34.371312897628684,10.891193690592663,3.489966223250433,1037,37,212,24,13,352,131,266,0.063,0.691,0.246,0.9953,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,2,4,18,20,0,1,10,0,17,4,0,4,3,53,47,20,0,3,13,1,4,2,0,3,3,0,0,1,20,13,0,0,13,3,0,3,11,3,0,0,3,5,26,17,42,39,8,30,0,2,1,1,8,14,0,8,14,154,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428880932719477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649549659247334,0.0,0.15289080374756933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325694410744618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643177304414881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7577084048292105,0.0,0.09827153361023942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129381897752619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613568589393365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091285892810476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849051601165293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558974965909833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321647044294488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105315147057166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684534218451802,0.09076847858306668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140683711819984,0.0,0.08384216723508546,0.0,0.12401745527347036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365783351447792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101824811420632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059719576653388,0.0,0.06440231314488812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902297118816728,0.0,0.09172348390727934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402599671634735,0.1691378578788039,0.09691067266277432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151579427393262,0.0,0.0,0.06575218877054287,0.0,0.07418677740954015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755327654253238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343180249216686,0.05952393506517845,0.0,0.0,0.162505020772598,0.0,0.08805444128160242,0.08876600345053375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670789719242984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373643319334844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yoursparkdoll,2018/04/05,"I'm having trouble understanding a friend's behavior and think they may be suffering from a disorder I've known this person for two years and I have a hard time understanding the way they think, or more specifically why they act or operate the way they do. We’ll call this person X. 

I have observed that X has trouble empathizing with others and has even admitted so. They do possess feelings; they just have a hard time understanding others’ feelings. X can express their emotions, but only to a limited degree. X has stated that they have trouble relating with others, and rarely does so. 

However, X still has many friends and is very outgoing and cheerful. They're not antisocial in any sense.

 X often expresses the fact that they do love their family members, friends, etc, but as aforementioned, has trouble relating to them. 

I’m not a doctor; I’m not trying to diagnose X. I just want to better understand this person. 

I'm from the U.S. and if you have any insights or stories about others you know or yourselves with similar personalities please share! Suggestions and questions are more than welcome. I’ve done some research, but I honestly don’t know what to think or do. 
",6.057083333333335,7.895222949074075,6.3916666666666675,73.28250000000003,67.19444444444444,10.029629629629632,33.87037037037037,10.270032843473604,3.871875925925925,951,44,158,25,16,306,121,216,0.084,0.73,0.187,0.9834,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,2,11,2,8,14,0,0,10,0,23,3,0,0,1,46,41,20,0,2,14,0,4,0,3,2,2,0,0,4,11,11,0,1,15,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,1,4,18,9,15,37,4,9,0,1,0,1,30,1,0,10,4,108,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275555993908405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058358882656827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219356137410138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145965978098272,0.0,0.0,0.13714894565819602,0.12248442044245494,0.10472154792887464,0.122461063679062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460946082485406,0.0,0.0,0.1334605284619958,0.07903903796126538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281155888992175,0.0,0.12101463469700167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27736367883625124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143965607119967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153189543533633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800429411486982,0.0,0.0,0.1213237290787451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101227609722673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179550324112654,0.0,0.13135861858662942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405461884851622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556635749059413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300336740447592,0.0,0.0,0.1395577797144699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124615407678187,0.0,0.11689743792997605,0.4983109819819122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873794878956432,0.07058279803578676,0.18997246088035805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798100895877152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706173480232212
mentalhealth,navpreet6,2018/04/05,"Best friend having a break down Hey

This is my first time posting here so not sure what to write but at this moment in time I’ll try anything. 

So basically a year ago my best friend underwent jaw surgery, not cosmetic but for pain relief. After the surgery she developed post traumatic stress due to her face being so swollen and she thought she was dying. Her face does look different but she’s still beautiful as ever. 

The doctors gave her some meds which numbed her pain I guess and we didn’t speak for a year as her family took her phone away from her. She was self diagnosing herself from google. Her dad suddenly died last November in his home country, she had to snap out of what she was going through and travel with her family so they could arrange his funeral. It seemed as though her own problems had disappeared. 

We met in February this year and she seemed like her normal self except for the fact that she’d gained a substantial amount of weight due to the anti depressants she’d been taking and for some reason guys were quick to comment on her weight making her feel way worse than she already did. I was so happy to see her getting control of her life again. 

We booked a holiday to Dubai to celebrate my birthday and her getting better. A week ago she messaged me saying she’s opened a new business and how all her dreams have come true. She’s put an offer in on a 7mil house and wanted me to choose my house too. I found this strange but I went along with her. I drove to her house 2 days ago to collect her for our holiday, she kept saying she was working and will be out soon so we can go. I sat there for 3 hours whilst she did nothing, no packing or anything. Just posting weird snaps about people funding her for her business etc. Her sister called me to say she was going Dubai and she was adamant no one would stop her. So we decided the break would do her some good. 

I feel like that was our biggest mistake. I picked her up and all she did was talk irrationally about this business idea that Mark Zuckerberg was involved in and how they were going to change Instagram. She’d also met someone who had the same views and somehow connected all these dots that led to her marrying him. She wanted me to quit my job and work for her yet I still didn’t get the purpose of her business which she now calls a charity for her dad and that she was guided by god. The airport journey was stressful, she told strangers about her business and was trying to recruit staff. I had to beg her to enjoy the holiday and we’d talk business after. She spent a ridiculous amount in duty free like £150 on notebooks to write down her plans, plus 2 phones, one for celebs and the other for special people. I managed to take her card away from her. 

She hasn’t slept in two days, we got to the hotel at 1am. I fell asleep and she woke me up at 9 to tell me about an epiphany she’d had. It was the same story she had told me 10 times already. I felt like crying, I don’t know where my best friend is. I don’t know what to do to make it okay, I can’t get through to her at all. I’ve been in touch with her sister and we’ve decided that I’d go along with her, if I don’t she becomes irrational. We went to Dubai mall and she wanted me to reassure her plans, so we walked around whilst I lied about how her business was amazing and how god knows this and wants her to enjoy and then plan when we get home. She’s finally asleep in bed and I’ve been through her phones, she’s messaged hundreds of people about her business, all of her friends too. She told me they were all on board but by the looks of the messages they’re laughing at her. Even this guy who’s marrying her, he hasn’t replied to any of her messages but she is so adamant that he’s said these things. He hasn’t. 

She’s finally asleep but I don’t know for how long, she may wake up and decide to “work” on the business. She’s spent all her money and her family have sent her £200 for food, it’s a struggle to get her to eat. I’m not that well off and only have enough for myself. I’m so angry right now, I’ve spent so much to be at this dream destination and all I’m doing is sitting in this hotel baby sitting her. I know it’s not her fault but I just don’t know what to do. Her family have contacted the doctors and when we get back I’m taking her to her sisters house. She think she’s moving into her office at this luxury hotel in London. 

I know this is long and some of it isn’t written properly but I need to get some advice before she gets up. I can’t take it anymore. I shouted at her today and I’ve never than that before. 

Thanks in advance x

I should add that she was the strongest person I ever knew, we met at uni and nothing phased her. she had major attitude but was so lovely. Everyone liked her, she had so many mates and was great to be around. She met someone and dated him for 3 years, he was the love of her life. When she moved back with her family after uni he changed. One day he just stopped talking to her and then she found out he’d gotten married. She’s never truly been the same since as she couldn’t let go, I feel this was the start to her downfall. ",2.7152152259763085,4.247545921698112,3.5216937253181264,91.76698771390964,75.16037735849056,6.515138218516895,23.64633611232997,7.1213741377187105,0.7030353225098729,4047,120,881,42,86,1285,405,1060,0.081,0.768,0.151,0.9981,2,0,0,0,0,1,77.0,14,0,3,15,54,43,1,3,33,1,84,23,8,11,15,163,165,78,3,14,20,5,7,5,5,5,9,6,3,5,41,64,4,5,24,11,6,22,22,12,1,5,69,17,181,32,137,78,26,130,0,1,4,2,197,45,0,12,60,602,222,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050584233812105896,0.1376598514167856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424809864350745,0.041396513108062805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0352020272333953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051337046362218086,0.0,0.0,0.08519649485244359,0.09216378613366673,0.0,0.0,0.09726998706076337,0.07960829737822901,0.0,0.0,0.05717046020272229,0.08809653513043045,0.0,0.16297276293044088,0.04578200366726117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571586191824407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952117461805944,0.04459102995513087,0.0,0.0,0.0580589351553889,0.04133020155564547,0.0,0.05686150601750652,0.1001525760960116,0.0,0.04458518468082179,0.052540463170282575,0.10744795385660556,0.05408348748164255,0.0,0.10596749888472548,0.04529996742962638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296859659547593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348716187380896,0.057731743963289436,0.03419034493021556,0.09364895090299404,0.0,0.0494637490985498,0.0,0.0,0.24399753653707054,0.0,0.07852193438745164,0.03698098111376137,0.04970259144797375,0.11341222246257725,0.0,0.04403134776839751,0.06259453618095669,0.11351546939060225,0.1599742792951228,0.0,0.2434060443018863,0.0,0.17651571597768895,0.043418090330505914,0.04140126064001806,0.05707117977168678,0.0570250679945925,0.10251112878736296,0.0,0.05510488667927155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038491851259066,0.0,0.05097817323595345,0.2389197934440377,0.0,0.05843647068978956,0.0,0.0,0.05136885110922492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991411265357359,0.0421954464760161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293329808283187,0.07312640904960208,0.12644900852137286,0.0,0.0,0.09162092779592892,0.08693925406446099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344000547024704,0.0,0.0691071812747099,0.052481662889864326,0.0,0.0,0.05749933057538858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100361685808944,0.03805328751600106,0.03838314843536972,0.07984883668204559,0.04999503361319976,0.0,0.0,0.0507187843668046,0.09933997434685732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523206691998058,0.039369673428631104,0.11016338256504453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076621589888362,0.045199268273178175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872990277327075,0.0,0.0,0.04953218734361583,0.0,0.052038199660033264,0.0,0.055058530924149966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053223120274596025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04420709263369196,0.04924044199320428,0.12349699998993635,0.0,0.0,0.04125006405620101,0.094249963273896,0.10800452901395856,0.0,0.0,0.04282060634414335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877207629511527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036639587697997925,0.0,0.08267931418722428,0.0865558439599276,0.11859344085127635,0.054116097535042505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048787972143739984,0.0,0.15568358163998153,0.12482042339504718,0.045244958644709656,0.047658327737206636,0.0,0.0,0.034390416780770275,0.03316897094576419,0.05085892499927227,0.041095688658096485,0.09055389746401926,0.0,0.049067239948381164,0.1483912472956494,0.0575129048607613,0.07029017821547735,0.0,0.05056695814343082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212953361937183,0.04108870839194953,0.04152282208064577,0.1260718355741101,0.04654302065905002,0.0959734893640746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305677699708938,0.0,0.05275303553747504,0.07354485050267451,0.0,0.0,0.13334004875430844
mentalhealth,bbmarxist,2018/04/05,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me and therapy isn’t helping Hi Reddit. I’m a 22 year old Asian-American. I started therapy about 2 months ago, and I know it takes time to see results, but I’m growing impatient. My psychologist is through university and practices more passive therapy (she doesn’t talk much). She told me I’m dealing with grief from my terrible breakup 10 months ago which I’ve accepted. But there’s something else, something bigger going on with me that is ruining my life. I’ll try my best to explain: 

-I’m “extroverted introvert.” I have a lot of good friends, I’m likeable, a decent internet following because I like to be funny and overshare. But sometimes I’m painstakingly awkward. When I meet new people I stumble over my words. My body language is visibly uncomfortable. Sometimes I avoid eye contact. I don’t really know what to say to them. Could be a social setting thing (as in I’m more comfortable in relaxed settings than professional ones.) 

-I like to stay busy. I work hard. I’m in my senior year of university and I work part time in a restaurant (one of the more reliable hostesses.) I leave my house at 9am and don’t come back until 12am because I’m running around doing stuff. Until I don’t. I could stay in bed and not do anything for multiple days. Recently I haven’t been working as much as I usually do and just finding covers instead. I don’t attend classes when I want to. I just stay in bed. The days bleed into one another. I am losing track of time. I have no idea when was the last time I showered. Showering feels tedious. I used to like showering a lot but now I just can’t wait to get out and go lie down. I ran out of clean underwear. I keep telling myself to do laundry and I don’t. These are tasks I never have trouble doing. 

-I’m never home. I always like to be on the move. But 3 months ago something happened to me that really scared me. It might seems minor but it it’s very unlike me. I got up and got dressed. I planned out my day. And I just couldn’t leave the house. I looked at myself in the mirror and started tearing up. I didn’t know what was wrong but I just couldn’t leave the house. It was very unlike me. When I put effort into dressing up and doing my makeup, I leave the house. 

-I have irregular sleep patterns. I could either sleep all day or stay up all night. I average about 5 hours. 

-I’m not dumb. But I have to read things over and over again to understand. Sometimes I switch the subject/object in a sentence (“the house is at the dog”). I’m falling behind on class assignments. There are so many submissions I missed. I would start my papers in advance, but never get around to finishing them. It’s gotten so bad. My essay was due 3 weeks ago. I started 2 weeks in advance. I have most of it. I just can’t seem to finish. I sit myself down and attempt to finish but I freeze up. I start typing and then get instantly distracted. Whatever is wrong with me it is ruining my life and my gpa. This has been going on and off throughout college. 

-I used to be an A student in high school. I started developing insomnia in 11th grade and got my first D. Ever since then it’s been a rocky road for me when it comes to academia. I’m on academic warning at university. I don’t think I’m dumb...most people think I’m smart (could be the way I carry myself, the things I talk about.) But maybe I am? 

-In college I was in an extremely abusive relationship and had to deal with the trauma for 2 years following it. That was the initial reason for the gpa drop. Ever since then I got into a new relationship (just broke up 10 months ago) and I’ve been trying to pick myself back up and I literally can’t. 

-All that being said, I have managed to land 4 different internships. All highly competitive & rigorous. I did fine through all of them. I have been asked to be involved in numerous panels and teach ins among the social movements within my city. I do think, not even trying to sound narcissistic, that people look up to me (because they tell me).

Please help me understand myself. I know I am capable. People know I am capable. I am reliable. Until I throw everything away. I am not lazy. I have good work ethics. But I don’t know if I’m just making up lies and excuses or there is something really happening to me. ",1.4142788541149187,3.9031288337236534,3.2220175998864526,87.32665022591257,84.43325526932084,6.401324722636199,23.848745061859816,7.686295010490155,1.415156544366381,3360,130,667,63,99,1118,354,854,0.11,0.778,0.112,0.3138,4,1,4,0,0,0,123.0,0,0,4,12,31,31,1,4,29,0,75,8,4,6,10,119,145,56,1,9,28,0,3,4,1,2,4,3,7,0,26,40,0,3,20,2,0,18,25,18,0,4,22,10,113,13,107,108,16,145,0,6,4,0,29,56,1,9,66,447,139,22,0.0,0.06025826966994743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22541220346718016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04231782904417585,0.05510449009675236,0.0,0.0,0.05332891997788053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04185170062597037,0.09054858870667606,0.04754525108009708,0.0,0.047782650981237164,0.07821313858010914,0.042464204204943526,0.09300747204697302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053372205794500284,0.0,0.0,0.056491637915449915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761911811127933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242351052716128,0.0,0.0,0.13119649703741373,0.10486447912444764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313565847539559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042485231538762165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03359114909120006,0.09200772552712336,0.0,0.0,0.04570778185273431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0257152714732955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04648317957257852,0.043259685463646905,0.0,0.0,0.039292670763689405,0.0,0.07971342728999645,0.0,0.08671111310003814,0.08531435108502257,0.16270276553933688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994690797765664,0.0,0.04555866962251364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817792782883708,0.10746828183396563,0.051014598824375916,0.0,0.05008476577411178,0.2934158173454406,0.0,0.05741235437404193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045204819181124366,0.0,0.0,0.1956511197914161,0.04145595888074805,0.0,0.2154046000958988,0.0,0.0,0.07184484724862872,0.0993863620000416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541561809679636,0.056896957089876965,0.0,0.08647509919612842,0.0,0.0,0.033948028810610965,0.05156190633015703,0.05109357470764415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395217207500857,0.0,0.0,0.1623770935960674,0.054053876200569,0.07477278494670248,0.0,0.11767419354294448,0.09823771192412847,0.0,0.047726673756588296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053366788260250805,0.0,0.10338784403313483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055074126341624965,0.0,0.141033797366126,0.0,0.0,0.05582667824879115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051126214923705136,0.0,0.0,0.050871641355154165,0.0,0.09774257775513592,0.052290369456403016,0.050216019469640535,0.10920465693916884,0.0,0.0,0.04837748878188591,0.040444226261780604,0.05091760859808261,0.05147088820539406,0.04052714456556565,0.0925982049796656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414032527706575,0.0,0.10178921488514038,0.10368640487573533,0.0,0.1566115182138912,0.15089922678042014,0.0,0.21598480895977112,0.2168309264612187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822010323131984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03823879528412573,0.08175527253766356,0.08890405490565731,0.0,0.17448124908740134,0.0,0.1013631438713958,0.09776302495762712,0.0,0.0,0.11862255174520253,0.0,0.0,0.048596882364609226,0.0,0.10358748328960933,0.0,0.0,0.10588969021700337,0.0,0.08784975585117955,0.05601276801083389,0.08392615204590308,0.029997294416160662,0.0403686167067317,0.08159024485100752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810056502329816,0.0,0.0,0.03612797769615517,0.16681531897902085,0.0,0.09825241892139096
mentalhealth,xkombatxwombatx,2018/04/05,"First time i’ve talked to anyone about this - would really appreciate any help. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, but best to explain with a bit of background first, sorry this is long but doesn’t make any sense without context.

I’m a 24 year old guy, My dad passed away a few years back when I was 19 - he was an inventor, and this was at the back end of a three year court case alleging he stole someones idea. We’re a very normal family, and were being sued millions, so risked losing the house... my parents marriage was going down the pan, he was drinking loads etc. 

Anyway, it all get’s resolved, he gets a new job and on the day before he was due to start he has a massive heart attack - i had to give CPR, unfortunately he didn’t make it. Three months later I start university, i don’t know anyone and it feels like i’m a million miles away.

After it happened I went into autopilot, I was pretty much emotionless. I turned to drink and drugs in a big way, I just didn’t want to think about anything and it was about the only thing that could stir any emotional response from me at all. At the time I normalised it as just being what people do at uni, but before long I was going on these ridiculous benders and waking up in a police cell after clashing with people on nights out. I ended up with a criminal record for fighting, and my dreams of being a teacher were promptly over.

After this I had a total break down, I wouldnt leave my room, I wouldn’t go on campus, i woke up at 5pm and went to sleep at 7-8am the next morning every day. I ultimately decided I didn’t want to put my mum through anymore drama, and that Uni wasn’t working out. I quit drugs completely and dropped out of my degree.

I’ve been at home for nearly three years and my life is going so much better, i’ve not touched drugs since, i have a great job earning fantastic money, I met an amazing girl and we’re saving to buy a place together. The problem is that the feeling of numbness and of disconnection won’t go. I thought that over time if I fixed the things that were wrong with my life I might get better. But that hasn’t happened at all. 

I feel like some sort of high functioning zombie. On the surface it looks like I have sorted myself out and got my life together, i seem happy and free from anxiety and depression. But that’s as far as it goes. I’m never happy, or sad, or nervous or excited or anything. Everything bores me, nothing surprises me. I feel like the worst things could happen to my life, someone could bulldoze my house or a loved one could be killed and I just wouldn’t feel any different to what I do now.

I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. I set myself goals in things like my career and often achieve them, but it just feels like I’m going through the motions. I was such a happy thoughtful guy before all this, and I just want that back, but my brain just feels like it’s gone sterile.

Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences they can share? How do you fix this? ",4.468725165562912,5.145881766556292,5.185754966887419,84.77803642384107,69.91059602649007,7.894304635761589,27.18609271523179,7.908726449838941,1.510216688741722,2353,73,481,28,40,762,285,604,0.1,0.72,0.18,0.9946,4,0,5,0,2,0,65.0,0,1,2,12,20,38,4,3,33,0,51,15,4,3,6,98,98,41,1,14,22,3,8,7,0,6,8,0,2,3,32,30,2,0,17,4,3,12,15,15,0,8,29,9,55,24,71,55,14,88,0,3,1,1,26,38,0,14,41,316,87,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060464314049641525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103883235367558,0.0,0.04733481639628343,0.0,0.06136416546618314,0.1297949907258271,0.0,0.1018370198078198,0.0,0.0,0.0703926533332083,0.11626869880233368,0.1427360087585985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579552411507565,0.0,0.06493483296242444,0.10944823076065392,0.0675523461355312,0.0,0.0,0.06907385454297887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487559736111509,0.0,0.0,0.19761116049542424,0.0,0.0,0.07980954219112989,0.0,0.05329353447392355,0.0,0.0,0.06464703971076619,0.0,0.0,0.05414792813265768,0.0,0.0,0.1212294520924152,0.21526884555162204,0.0,0.0,0.06960194491844658,0.10960718330268894,0.0,0.06900787131808701,0.0,0.0,0.05213302881324778,0.0,0.05560997780601522,0.06052640384674944,0.05833099590404619,0.0,0.21900383973107876,0.22102041361662372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526304497905503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698265246649526,0.05935690398628837,0.21099265287315785,0.0,0.04948772842319935,0.06821828615051544,0.0,0.122533536983197,0.1641496924683282,0.1976038138417741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733231189961479,0.041474043365713364,0.06537517820152003,0.062066470815551215,0.0,0.0,0.1427927274448359,0.0,0.0698502448186634,0.0,0.0,0.12280436459212014,0.0,0.06845640324103608,0.0,0.06801064119126769,0.0,0.06979859568842388,0.06551753632040412,0.0,0.0,0.17481882511145275,0.21160572733516916,0.0,0.0,0.10951626889022452,0.0519600868179711,0.06922319116670457,0.0,0.05260459107995405,0.055845323826977926,0.0,0.08260515177912127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564044392580952,0.0,0.0,0.049388671934330525,0.0,0.09097166265422983,0.0,0.04772243022969635,0.059760031644236274,0.06580561353871406,0.05806624519452661,0.06062514493273991,0.059371497341472276,0.0,0.06492824176619559,0.0,0.04192864233796005,0.04705933289535925,0.0,0.0,0.06870575158971795,0.0,0.0,0.08579377540893665,0.0,0.06464703971076619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294993169964973,0.0,0.05920678253691995,0.0,0.06220226757826638,0.0,0.06581252801565582,0.0,0.0,0.039639220860161306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632940294922676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511842998236483,0.0,0.06192048433778625,0.0,0.10485432633919428,0.0,0.0,0.06926489043592716,0.08759201712731839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468601913896657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973342292120245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443012407814014,0.03964751316423325,0.0,0.09824494463390554,0.10824082687545117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730310055051593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105401381819335,0.10948784708681332,0.049114128669680616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471897000366467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059646061591640376,0.0,0.045046318155073865,0.0,0.0,0.04395479186306687,0.06765147209881328,0.0,0.15938394190613467
mentalhealth,GlassGirl99,2018/04/05,"I lost my job after having a panic attack in the bathroom Hey guys, first time poster here and on mobile so sorry for formatting! 

I have struggled with mental health my whole adolescent and newly adult life.  I currently have been working in administration for the past 10 months.  I have been struggling a lot with myself and working. When I am at work I can never focus properly. I need to be listening to audio books, podcasts or actively doing something else or I feel like I am holding my breath. In my most recent 'Assignment' I was put in a 'quiet zone'. When I sat at my desk it felt like time was put to a stop, I talked to the people around me as little as possible but it was like a tick or impulse that I couldn't control. I was constantly getting dirty looks for tapping on my desk, being distracted by things going on around me or talking. I got the work done as best as I could, but I had so many intrusive thoughts and my mind would constantly wander to something else without me even realising it. I went through about one and a half litres of sugar free energy drink a day just because it was the only thing that would somewhat calm me down and chill me out. 

At home it seems like nothing can truly catch my gaze for a very long period of times, my mind wanders off or something else happens around me and I'm gone. Living like this is a total nightmare and I can have mood swings of angry, sad, happy in the blink of an eye. I seem to always be able to rationalise my oversharing or getting distracted and removing myself from tasks but I know that I shouldn't it's like I can't stop. It makes me so depressed. I hate how I am it's like a puppeteer is pulling my strings. I know that this isn't how I am on the inside and it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. 

When I had my panic attack at work I was called aside by my manager. He said that I appeared unproductive and was a distraction for those around me and got rid of me on the spot (I am a tempt they can do with me as they please). I know I'm capable of doing well but I couldn't control myself. Please someone tell me what I can do to break free of this nightmare. I've been told I have depression and have been on medications for it, none seem right and it just makes me feel trapped inside my own head. 

",3.07121854613234,4.598943922413795,4.177965983224606,87.44471342031687,74.2155172413793,7.257595526561045,25.040540540540533,7.917944638633933,1.2915628611369994,1796,58,374,26,37,585,220,464,0.147,0.746,0.106,-0.9654,2,1,4,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,10,18,28,3,7,21,0,50,9,4,6,2,70,82,37,0,7,13,0,3,7,0,3,3,4,1,2,24,22,2,5,11,2,2,9,9,14,1,3,24,10,68,15,59,49,8,55,0,4,2,0,13,24,0,13,27,271,92,11,0.07736689557224842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643754548488943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754917591747291,0.0,0.17603202552223693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047162141447280016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119178374493244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900025051675663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167212258040822,0.17354710404987198,0.06177117071285133,0.0,0.0,0.049895247240521606,0.0,0.1332719875791099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917319538282039,0.0,0.07579010377604062,0.0,0.0,0.1938903412422206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511001048609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782380540328795,0.05527092565545096,0.07428435249874847,0.0,0.0,0.06580824185085757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084201947128694,0.0,0.0439693896745169,0.0,0.12375474797908315,0.0,0.0,0.07660539022252043,0.0684152902464429,0.08235849896823591,0.0,0.07638379205973209,0.07940075520703985,0.08223739215416072,0.0,0.09168014376019296,0.0,0.0,0.07760530437005139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677470594763032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007528994956955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546465263536049,0.2645829005662961,0.07754195437613498,0.06831638621752971,0.06846726798721707,0.06496870693012886,0.0,0.08445510575232609,0.06577456794915831,0.0,0.0,0.1032860071165312,0.07843788889583347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793900787881408,0.07796763384878619,0.0,0.15623701941041793,0.0,0.061753517922530136,0.0,0.0,0.057366572754447974,0.05967011938314019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423562289828471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052425810710750566,0.05884101036853021,0.0,0.1815467646503133,0.0,0.0,0.07385545607041881,0.053636463989169936,0.0,0.0,0.16985123699125218,0.0,0.08721955016804142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555019786010596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763904757657683,0.0,0.0,0.06607090609316461,0.07359363453002575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129574809476895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555271955330043,0.17868244804814784,0.0,0.08660590547209852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936437791732194,0.0,0.1617613548121598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243691601101109,0.067622076814104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279825531414062,0.0,0.0,0.061420673118268834,0.13533977692881372,0.0,0.0,0.073927384204755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383579136387726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956213051008539,0.07171988730123295,0.0,0.08637737597529041,0.0,0.07457892648754069,0.0,0.2816201070593797,0.0,0.0,0.10991844569969912,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lucky_aces_,2018/04/05,"Anyone else get this feeling of being disturbed? Over the past year and after some traumatic incidents that happened I noticed I have been getting disturbed by making eye contact with certain people. 

I used to be friendly and outgoing and I still am to some extent. I've always attracted weird energy from people. When I'm not friendly I fake it in situations I have to be in and people usually can't tell the difference. 

The disturbed feeling does not happen with everyone and it has only happened a few times with strangers but when it does it is extremely intense. It feels like something is going to jump out of the other person's body and attack me through their eyes. My chest gets heavy and feels sunken in. 

It happened twice this past month. I went to go look at a rental house and it happened with lady who met with me. It also happened at a job I was working with another person who was a customer. 

I'm not sure if it's because of bipolar or BPD, or if it's me picking up on perceived threats. When I don't have to be around people I am not and spend a lot of time alone. I'm thinking it's made me much more sensitive when I interact. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel like the same ""spirit"" or something is following me in the body of different people. I've encountered it about a dozen times so far. ",3.7816300366300375,5.55500626923077,4.7601098901098915,82.98679487179491,72.84615384615384,7.413919413919415,29.68864468864469,8.11559375814309,2.1781721611721605,1050,45,195,16,21,342,140,260,0.086,0.821,0.094,-0.3943,3,1,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,1,9,14,2,3,12,0,19,6,5,4,2,44,47,21,0,2,10,0,5,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,19,17,0,0,7,0,1,5,6,7,0,2,6,8,19,7,34,37,8,31,1,0,3,0,11,12,0,8,16,138,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315149456928952,0.0,0.07192558704098026,0.07483791083523005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431072076210442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257773303321225,0.18430985867394836,0.0,0.08006633800628267,0.0,0.10232058989797088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054827047742260285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998078000097406,0.11327722887271745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793788627491886,0.0,0.0,0.15741551670343742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026791503849968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594224305495955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22738373365198494,0.12850738268777645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389760040866627,0.0,0.14097099257317364,0.0,0.10223080432331884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5567401709663156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377955236418898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892523184744294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788101688572646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552757969213303,0.0,0.0,0.07646441121012812,0.0,0.08510411440963436,0.060036150496004324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178985032254834,0.0,0.06611680158381493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239814250489812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840399493488851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717172499694792,0.3117679648990839,0.1570655912919342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109717384447693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384815703048721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182680088946311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476809454499735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861218172338727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763040236243098,0.0,0.0,0.15733552767949804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767993235692866,0.09905703181638366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337597836878985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547793879200774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791889559448553
mentalhealth,madCakez,2018/04/05,"How to deal with sibling's schizophrenia Not sure which subreddit to post this in... 

My 21 year old brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia about a year ago after a failed suicide attempt. 

My parents never believed in mental illness so this was a huge shock to them and clearly they're not equipped to deal with this because for an entire year they've just kept him locked up in his room not letting him see anyone or do anything really, just doped up on meds. Watching this just disgusts me but I don't even know where to begin helping, especially since he himself is sort of in denial about having anything wrong with him. Any suggestions? 

I don't even know who to contact about this or where to begin searching for someone to contact. 

I've already told my parents that only meds isn't enough and that some form of therapy or human interaction is necessary but they won't listen. They tell at me when I try to interfere or voice my opinions so  I'm not sure how to make them realize they need to get better help for him. He used to have some sort of social worker come talk to him once a week for fifteen minutes but that doesn't seem to be happening anymore. 

Any suggestions on who to go to got assistance or what to do would be greatly appreciated.

I have already checked the /r/schizophrenia FAQ but nothing really directs me to a specific type of person I should be contacting ",7.3036591478696735,7.3322171353383485,7.0297593984962425,76.24769674185464,63.73684210526315,9.649724310776943,36.9062656641604,9.21078282632365,3.3670434085213055,1122,51,199,17,15,354,152,266,0.075,0.855,0.07,0.371,2,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,5,4,15,8,1,0,7,0,20,2,0,4,4,45,38,16,1,3,16,3,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,2,12,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,10,4,0,0,5,4,24,4,43,26,4,27,0,1,2,0,36,13,0,11,11,138,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646212192257658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650684614728097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334533896438375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910773183414165,0.08397727909190618,0.0,0.19766546736046464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321233926462463,0.0,0.0,0.13531248583958752,0.0,0.10621940688124598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345621367910793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24763732376006686,0.0,0.12189979442084188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409624207994085,0.0,0.15865090510006385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274771643888738,0.0,0.0682560582561263,0.0,0.09605558946873577,0.13241156742330468,0.0,0.0,0.10620474996898632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100208314584644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200852894091186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281121567965128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016822351840032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668098510574359,0.0,0.12103336883839852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890532290956784,0.09262914893554017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523996668440945,0.0,0.12602559734984306,0.127903443374993,0.0,0.09134207823429054,0.0,0.0,0.266715473880958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486739510871478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150233774017438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538793089568949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957047963585818,0.10933526708761623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934863142354744,0.0,0.0,0.12242765151800435,0.1017610268825444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313707933917614,0.0,0.22638718487337145,0.0,0.0,0.0965324820355776,0.1049734019187166,0.0,0.13734574354467738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476147111332925,0.0,0.08154056661530705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372853903247747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963376257076245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531616982450134,0.13131138239582038,0.0,0.2320229526508352
mentalhealth,D41319,2018/04/05,"Has anyone found a good article/blog post/something about what it’s like to be suicidal? I’m looking for something to show my doctor to help explain it a bit better, cause I’m struggling to explain it myself. But I’m not having much luck finding anything.",6.3085333333333375,6.648945320000003,6.722000000000001,76.55433333333336,65.8,8.266666666666667,36.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.990666666666668,206,10,35,2,3,67,38,50,0.175,0.627,0.197,0.0567,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,8,10,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,4,6,8,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,20,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763150517424128,0.0,0.20905425174458464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246787860604714,0.27734718085044074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609702786081009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600219202322736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321890431908645,0.0,0.0,0.278543049875332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307769531934828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702784531401986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411169218200305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133306157390223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867495032948759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433012343223895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911466352035402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655790076133817,0.0,0.2778798267633079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mustaline,2018/04/05,Is there a website where you can take a test what disorder you have? I know that something is up with me and I don't want to write everything out and I don't want to see a psychiatrist cause it's not that bad plus its expensive but I'd like to know what's going on and how I can treat it,0.4354358974359016,2.0023113384615385,2.6134615384615394,95.62070512820513,81.76923076923076,6.7948717948717965,20.06410256410256,7.793537801064563,0.4064871794871801,227,6,58,4,6,77,44,65,0.068,0.7859999999999999,0.146,0.7686,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,0,15,14,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,7,2,8,14,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28101680419022035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457438434427437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857313961285331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024819379844593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912770245541908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699334429310833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442812453608058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26819785892618875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591033387523288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530541722851385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970282250197567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FreeWifiHotspot,2018/04/05,"Soon to be ex-wife told me that my PTSD, anxiety, and depression don't qualify as mental illness... so much as they're an ""attitude problem,"" for me. It seems like something said once in anger, although shows a lack of understanding (I believe) for the nature of mental illness. Granted, I'm not mental illness, but I do struggle with it.",6.107380952380954,6.866683190476196,6.847738095238098,74.02017857142856,66.30158730158729,9.474603174603176,37.97222222222222,9.516144504307137,3.8406222222222235,263,14,45,5,4,87,51,63,0.219,0.732,0.05,-0.8442,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,8,8,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,1,5,1,9,5,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,31,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557003143785132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24384496064337066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864127264043756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573783465671527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6543382204046237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910256120479074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304932166636917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070963741340624,0.2529976457432888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058765732837272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970317353530741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662007226132947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262619153893891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681023065513726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253135406246507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PurrBoss,2018/04/05,"People being nice to me makes me cry (19F) Long story short, I was neglected as a child. My mother dated many guys during my childhood,  and they were all abusive in one way or another. The most recent ex was one she dated the whole time I was in high school, and he showed zero care or any positive feelings for us. He locked us out of the house and screamed at us all the time; stuff like that. 
My mom had her own issues, and was emotionally unavailable. She was even suicidal during my Jr. high years. I also have 8 siblings, so there was never much to go around. 
I dated an abusive guy too, cliche as that is. He was a typical douche, dated me when I was 18 and he was 29 and took advantage of how little I knew about the world. He was very judgemental and cynical, and brainwashed me into thinking that nobody else would ever want to date me and that him yelling at me for hours was normal,  yadadada. 
Anyway,  I'll get to the point. 
I'm in college, and it feels like everyone is so angelic, yet so human. I always expect to be screamed at or put down or whatever, but most people are nice. 
An example is that my mentor helped me build a resume,  and today I messaged him and said I'd finished it and wanted him to look it over before I turned it in. I expected to be snapped at or something, and even prepared a response ahead of time. Instead,  he was happy that I'd finished it and was enthusiastic. I was stunned and cried for a little bit. Everyone was nice for the rest of the day too. I went to an event later, and when I was leaving,  my friend told me to message her when I got back home so she could know I made it back safely. I cried about that too,  in private,  of course.
I guess I have pretty low expectations when it comes to people. I'm scared to get close to people though, because I feel like it'll just make it that much worse when they eventually show their dark side. 
I don't know why I'm posting this on Reddit. Just needed to get ir out,  I guess. And I wanted to hear other people's opinions/thoughts. 
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mentalhealth,syndicatesin,2018/04/05,"OCD Note-taking is taking over my life, help! I write about 200-400 notes per day and save them... only maybe like 10 are important but I have a compulsion to save them. I have files with 100,000 notes or so saved ruminating in my mind and I feel at a loss. I want to stop jotting down notes before digging through them but even then I know it will take years :/ I currently have this problem coupled with ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, ect... Not sure where to go to get help for this problem ",3.3609375000000017,5.1917448854166715,3.7170833333333313,89.78625000000002,74.10416666666666,7.3000000000000025,25.541666666666664,8.07648339933343,1.3721291666666673,383,13,80,6,8,119,71,96,0.229,0.591,0.18,-0.8288,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,1,4,9,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,1,20,13,7,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,12,5,13,12,0,11,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591434151898169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495512392031825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348387340481007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23858870610096436,0.0,0.1390624694933365,0.0,0.18572041158245745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242051430409775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902819009712536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265693115330908,0.0,0.12254658005356762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890623217207645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850372093644285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230470484157374,0.10534513684266376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21662769462697046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177231995740676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399510297817468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126544853807776,0.2520580424048421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027498461859484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032272005078492,0.0,0.3242514196789411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718320790044801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885760994574992
mentalhealth,FuhcThisLpPlayer,2018/04/05,"So convinced by my crazy THAT I'm crazy. I'm crazy. No? I did post in another forum,  I'm feeling anxious so I'm hoping to chat, get answers, relate to someone,  busy myself until sleep ... anything. 

I recently drank,  its rare at best if I do,  and so I got black out drunk,  lost time,  worried now,  that I've been raped, or taken advantage of without knowledge.  I am so sick over even the thought I'm teetering on suicidal.  Thing is though that NONE.  I mean none, of the stories of that night (from myself)  or the friend with me line up with me ever leaving the bar space without her,  so why am I so attached and reacting so much to the theory that it happened?  I don't know how to clear my head,  talk this out to myself,  not think I've done something untoward. I need some thoughts or suggestions if you're able. 

Tdlr; reacting to something that likely didn't happen,  but cannot get over it, because I can't remember the lost time.  ",2.3234914611005664,4.318919989247314,3.6491018342821033,88.387770398482,77.60215053763442,6.742061986084758,26.532574320050607,7.724431198458867,1.5365690069576217,722,29,147,11,17,236,115,186,0.134,0.794,0.07200000000000001,-0.8536,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,4,12,9,1,0,6,0,11,7,2,3,2,32,33,18,1,4,9,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,11,6,3,0,9,3,0,0,10,3,0,0,11,2,18,6,24,22,5,17,0,2,1,1,5,9,0,7,8,97,29,0,0.14819457966291613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539493810000102,0.0,0.16741769310905238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195151206605985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033804027015503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552106847723388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165450705425038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788112221098826,0.13405048160491032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493163222647155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449476463501974,0.0,0.15485110273632344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852474318892565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620959547516031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520903928714198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719065569539744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144386535966239,0.0,0.0,0.15691666225493273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240038602594326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32354377941054474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142734198263456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089400675391224,0.10988440305335168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907057403750436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419294425516162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632426908982687,0.0,0.16787556995129635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830160401602727,0.0,0.12556478643880087,0.2281748551132201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621008171976488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191131896221448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845389377252398,0.09495710281313603,0.14560042209383667,0.2352998855143464,0.17282690230137407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337225579534385,0.0,0.0,0.285708572918287,0.0,0.0,0.1504987891837736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lizzyrue,2018/04/05,"Like my mother Well, here goes. I'm 26. I have 2 awesome kids, 4 year old and 2 year old. My mom died 2 years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child. She died because of kidney and liver failure as a result of alcoholism and undiagnosed diabetes.
 I love my mom so much. She was an awesome mom. She stayed home when we were very young(middle child, one younger and one older) and then started working at a local grocery store deli. She kept that job through my high school years, and was let go for reasons unknown to me. After that she went from job to job, spending months in between jobs being depressed and drinking. 
My father is strong, and supported all of us the entire time. He is also doing very well. He had a heart attack a year ago and has improved himself in leaps and bounds. Lost about 70 lbs, avoided possible transplant. I'm so proud of him.
But, I was a momma's girl. She was the family's emotional support system. I was never afraid to tell her when something fucked up happened in my or one of my friend's lives. 
One fucked up thing- I told her that I cut myself when I was in high schoold and she never followed through. At the time I wasn't that upset about it, but now I'm pissed. If my child told me that shit... I'm honestly not sure but I don't think that I would act like it never happened.
Now here I am. 26, stay at home mom for four years. I feel very lucky that my husband is supportive of me raising our children. I think I'm doing a good job at motherhood. (Warning, shameless kid brag) My 4 year old impresses his teachers with his language and social skills, my 2 year old is fucking wild and I'm so excited to see when she puts all of that energy. 
But then, the kids go to bed. 
I stress drink. We're buying a house, out of our budget, but it's his grandparents lake house that he and his cousins spent so much of their childhood at. I am good with going in over our heads for that, but I know I'll be freaking out for a while. Car just broke down. I've been drinking too much. I've recently tapered off of lexapro for post partum anxiety. 
Also, I've recently been diagnosed with ADD(innatentive type). Adjusting to meds, trying to find what's right. I barely have time for any ' self care'. There are so many good things in my life but it's so fucking hard for me not to focus on everything that sucks. 
I'll get there, we'll all get there. 
LLP",1.880742690317156,4.02073653638254,2.9734179678860535,91.97260273366659,79.68607068607069,5.839978767638343,23.12385544300438,6.947713065588193,0.6877951165568188,1858,62,392,21,47,594,241,481,0.103,0.772,0.125,0.8764,7,1,5,0,0,1,68.0,6,0,1,5,26,37,9,4,13,0,30,18,6,2,7,53,66,40,2,2,12,9,2,2,1,2,4,0,3,9,18,21,4,3,7,3,5,8,7,17,2,6,18,3,59,20,56,43,6,72,0,3,1,5,50,23,7,3,39,242,77,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254493119438078,0.06784235256304029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153216798110208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04316955552520058,0.0,0.04856312722929077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221930156459552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038697696121015965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472355807738228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467647056002847,0.06443232451105921,0.13176742291936844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865629283299624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140807472839385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057053024243347336,0.0,0.059844651171433526,0.0,0.03209812306178275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802088536273047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490456024510087,0.2347502704450144,0.06633286376120526,0.0,0.10823389447782104,0.15973565802563858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227285406229766,0.0,0.05686690049502875,0.0,0.06515027101167416,0.0,0.0,0.0752258110995428,0.0,0.13414325176878686,0.12735411894933796,0.0,0.0,0.14649811530409734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149776652808353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034887738799558365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491407257792753,0.044838817873967714,0.062027649240511774,0.0,0.05605527384474601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929748985052225,0.0,0.057294477356067484,0.0,0.0,0.06436021553978938,0.0,0.0,0.07051356808170636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973947773928073,0.050670279118710505,0.0,0.13999848623320188,0.0,0.14688239824572313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664523668386706,0.0,0.17206666444952395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715657844329974,0.060797670860058925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381638008404562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652694923131844,0.1253605254981069,0.0,0.0,0.054212802217464266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424660557955511,0.05058648807029213,0.0,0.06622498586981966,0.0,0.0651627850828271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471133285509645,0.0,0.0488711133162878,0.0,0.0,0.044932489400742334,0.13532553541929676,0.0,0.0,0.07271777411865789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21611395473466788,0.05983050517110744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548557591578817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084348494869854,0.08135268593841287,0.0,0.0,0.11104961309977524,0.0,0.0,0.12131847117990426,0.0,0.043099730183587794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636035509042427,0.0,0.0,0.15713650695475576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415487530475515,0.058847930128853164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046215243795637184,0.0,0.0,0.0450953930340102,0.0,0.0,0.3270397241765256
mentalhealth,sonderdeparture,2018/04/05,"How to tell your mom you want to talk to a mental health professional? . Okay for the past few months my mental state has really gone downhill. I’ve been very anxious and paranoid. It’s gotten to the point where I commonly think that nothing is real and im not really alive at all.I disassociate from reality and just think about the nothingness of it all.  I get so worked up and scared that Im terrified of even falling asleep. It’s been deteriorating me and i don’t know how to tell my mom. I’m just worried of her rejecting my thoughts. She is a very accepting person, but I don’t know how she’ll react to her own teenager being messed up. How do I tell her? ",2.4767777777777766,4.391748325925929,4.356018518518521,83.86958333333334,76.85185185185185,7.7592592592592595,23.842592592592588,8.59863814320734,1.5514814814814812,524,17,110,11,12,178,83,135,0.139,0.826,0.035,-0.8818,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,10,5,0,1,5,1,10,2,1,5,1,23,20,11,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,5,0,16,2,15,13,3,11,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,0,3,70,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763655636534979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031125143895824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156366722443123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594299179894634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372620745927192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715934911481561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146544919639158,0.0,0.0,0.36568010609150253,0.12460953891831356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497965954307863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902947454883372,0.0,0.13631363502559715,0.0,0.0,0.1475791776844336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776930983211696,0.2000225898373452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629839381196806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254793590578967,0.40935428924430617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000644334482991,0.0,0.12393790693708152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25762252243888034,0.0920806979165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365361155560096,0.15854240546891155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HelloImLucas,2018/04/05,"I'm off my routine and I'm anxious. Help Okay so I'm on my last year of highschool and in the past I've been distracted in my free time but, recently I have nothing. Over summer I was freaking out to the point I felt so ill on a vacation we went home. I went to a psychiatrist and I've been on prozac 40mg for 5 months. I thought I was doing good but, now I'm 4 days into spring break and I'm panicked. I'm no sure why I'm so anxious. Everytime I'm off my routine of school, home and sleep it's terrible. I'm horrified about the future. I'm supposed to graduate in a few weeks. I've tried therapy and it doesn't help. I'm not sure what to do. I've tried breathing and meditation but it didn't help. ",-0.8095445344129573,1.2127868782051294,2.135182186234818,94.37823886639677,90.47435897435898,5.8483130904183565,21.672064777327925,7.273561745256523,0.7172230769230774,547,21,132,10,19,192,84,156,0.224,0.6809999999999999,0.095,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,6,1,9,4,2,0,2,18,24,13,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,10,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,3,0,0,9,1,11,6,19,15,1,27,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,0,12,66,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806808199838457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865906774294973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177229168728105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131745989147335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387963968160646,0.0,0.3380089483917543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373379913668749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448334377347626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166617109963555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083826512888105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927304970892373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635888867602694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051609927374184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16860695895793654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31759076661946584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926776023504737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375849304852094,0.0982451222173089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22878089213774255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514872946495318,0.0,0.0,0.3123750867578593,0.15203175980597652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849899689464604
mentalhealth,ohdorf,2018/04/05,"I feel so fucked up mentally Everyday feels the same. I wake up, realize I still exist and that the events that happened to me are real, cry, take klonopin, sleep, etc.

I just got done with a trial where the man who sexually assaulted me was acquitted. I feel like I was traumatized all over again. I can't fucking believe he got away with it. On top of the PTSD for that, I have borderline PD, panic disorder, depression or bipolar (they've been trying to decipher for years due to antidepressants either making things worse or having no effect).

I've attempted suicide 5 times in the past two and a half years. If it weren't for me being 4 months sober, im sure I would've already been dead after this. 

I just feel stuck in this purgatory when I want to die but don't have the guts (alcohol made me impulsive and fearless). I'm in counseling 3 times a week and am on medication. 

I'm just so fucking tired.",4.815707635009312,5.669398536312853,5.916885474860338,79.20966713221604,69.22346368715084,9.989013035381753,30.00046554934823,10.125756701596842,2.9271672253258854,714,27,142,18,12,238,120,179,0.189,0.768,0.043,-0.9737,0,0,1,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,0,3,9,9,4,1,9,0,14,10,3,3,2,27,31,11,3,2,8,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,9,6,1,0,6,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,10,4,15,3,20,20,4,25,0,1,0,3,3,11,3,3,15,91,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089569103688705,0.0,0.0,0.1558134080463006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265838438019725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15907965400889942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509728642186746,0.0,0.0,0.12161199452726895,0.0,0.14653926040589538,0.0,0.1618229639136911,0.0,0.0,0.14449263312572042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747097564302026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855719636723455,0.10087052246201192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916005593295989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585484027575006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485924542984893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525160179918694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898128264968012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360316434151775,0.0942494935384901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224021674461487,0.14229245970079532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270138038837968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566320162360965,0.0,0.0,0.13478765466918852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505068566403716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071207421296926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129807070869455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275938830842296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544456169729305,0.0,0.13307565380329595,0.0,0.106161895559732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380441523958817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466516342672244,0.16228414682374245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586288393393544,0.0,0.13792807366445115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328111838306282,0.0,0.11325899506255405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389088920472293,0.10030165873336933,0.0,0.0,0.18185131894664888
mentalhealth,sixela11,2018/04/06,"Different diagnosis’s from different Psychiatrists??? How does this happen??? I’ve had 3 different psychiatrists in my life and have received different diagnoses from each one.  This post is kind of a rant,  and to keep it short-ish I’ll just do bullet points.

-first psychiatrist diagnosed me with Anxiety, PTSD, and Depression at 13, this was following a suicide attempt. He was my doctor until I was 19, and a bit of a twat. He would never listen to what I had to say about how medicine was affecting me, and would just have me take a bunch of different pills that I had horrible side affects with. 

-second psychiatrist diagnosed me with a mood disorder @20 was still trying to figure out if it was Bipolar type 2??  PTSD And ADHD. Meds helped improve my life in so many ways, but she ended up resigning  after a few months of treatment and of course problems with my insurance caused me to not be able to take my medication for a few weeks(big no no).

-third psychiatrist has been the most recent, and wasn’t sure if I really have ADHD, was thinking depression and BPD, and PTSD. He also saw me after I was not medicated for a few weeks and so overly stressed out I had a breakdown later that day. I am still recovering from that breakdown a few days ago, but I’m all honesty I feel like shit.

My thing is none of my therapists over the years  have ever mentioned BPD. Bipolar runs in my family, along with a shit ton of other mental illnesses but no one wants to talk about/treat them besides me. I just don’t know how to feel because BPD symptoms I pretty much have most of them, but same with depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety. I just feel so fucked up and scared of how the rest of my life is going to go.
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mentalhealth,SunnyDayman,2018/04/06,"I always cry at midnight and nobody knows that I'm not okay My parents don't know but I am struggling with a panic disorder I got used to sleep all day and wake up at night just overthinking my problems and want to avoid social interactions , I think that everything i do something shit always happen. Before I am always active at social media now I rarely even check it, the only thing that calm my mind is this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo-EZSab5_4 can anyone advice me on this problem? I don't talk this problem to anyone even my closest friends but I think they knew that I changed",6.211818181818181,7.972191409090911,5.54159090909091,79.82238636363638,66.72727272727272,7.3181818181818175,27.38636363636364,7.6454224807358475,1.6345454545454543,485,15,82,5,8,147,74,110,0.271,0.635,0.094,-0.9749,1,1,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,4,10,1,3,2,1,7,3,3,1,1,21,17,5,0,4,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,1,5,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,2,1,16,3,9,15,1,9,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,3,54,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607775995053576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731575048457829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905070807510234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272031178633484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813828390466586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420534226740446,0.09640727203476099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713259837692881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747058017697072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343500065531608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549391286589125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955905936791618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219157861531422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430918425475666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094007611177568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028418514416766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113692217337929,0.0,0.17539173863897778,0.1659885247305383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291189424445164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344709100010345,0.0,0.0,0.14959577048521355,0.3047679981367416,0.0,0.11508302112607358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627711856914284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015264092861988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993130599894144,0.19157150797694056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910947322193778,0.0,0.0,0.08817178471650533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yolonaggins,2018/04/06,"My friend thinks he is Jesus Last weekend I hung out with one of my friends, I'll call him James, and he was fine. Then, Wednesday morning, I woke up to several missed calls from him and one of our other friends, Tony. I called Tony back and he told me that James had showed up on his doorstep, over an hour away. James had told him that they had to go see Elon Musk, that James's roommate was the living embodiment of sin, that he was Jesus, and that Tony and I were to be his disciples.

We were pretty concerned by his behaviour and called James's mom. She picked him up and he was still ranting about all of the stuff from above. Apparently he hadn't ate or drank anything for days, and she got him to eat and sleep. Once he woke up he was a little more coherent but still convinced he was the second coming and that the government was after him. He left the house and was going to come see me at my college when he was picked up by the police and taken to the hospital. 

I guess I want to know what you all think caused this? They gave him a drug test which came back negative. He's been under a lot of stress lately so maybe it has to do with that? And what do you all think I should do to help? I'm worried to go see him because I'm afraid he will try and convince me to break him out.",4.573090148698885,4.40683085130112,4.784718866171001,90.70339800185877,69.48327137546468,8.063289962825277,25.734433085501863,7.413659706084162,0.8960871747211899,1005,24,234,9,16,315,143,269,0.056,0.866,0.077,0.4291,3,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,2,2,2,0,7,10,0,2,11,0,24,5,1,3,3,38,51,19,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,14,22,3,0,4,2,0,6,2,4,0,3,26,3,33,6,37,22,5,34,3,1,3,0,45,14,0,3,13,151,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398218741623844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730073073725227,0.17563543986278848,0.0,0.0696191993657805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664702680492793,0.1306217678732566,0.0,0.11732149635578908,0.0,0.1967575094061989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736537200908446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244323806600833,0.11686172256342227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647068883150305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471849316874645,0.0,0.09134134082576316,0.0,0.12581129392643828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765501842819318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247036018316736,0.1317789237913847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276488489940528,0.09309350967288207,0.12882986390919487,0.0,0.1240856554057785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446487829563425,0.1008463985322736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097094250149123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473574172896722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337572282914771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162615500794448,0.1547785090235724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618903007964106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27302329217483284,0.0,0.0,0.1290207947733043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428894079815215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241085656980885,0.0,0.13082311665198235,0.0,0.13073907562751005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953666867827729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21825833779387555,0.0,0.07753869116339966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736193042655665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598220613553853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmalourose,2018/04/06,"My boyfriend has diagnosed anxiety and depression, how can I help? I've been dating my boyfriend for several months now, and at the start of our relationship he began taking antidepressants, so in the time I've know him I haven't really experienced on of his (episodes?). He seemed fine this morning, he was acting normal and nothing seemed wrong. Then, he drove our roommate to work (maybe a five minute drive there and back depending on traffic), and when he came back into the apartment he was crying. I had to coax him to tell me what was wrong and when he finally did, he said ""I just can't find any meaning. I'm just a blip in time, I'll be as inimportant when I'm dead as I was alive."" We sat there together crying maybe for 15 minutes? Before he got up and started cleaning the bathroom (something he never does). He is still doing this as we speak.

The reason I'm writing this is because I have no knowledge of interacting with people who have mental health issues. I want to know what to say, what not to say, how I can possibly comfort him until he can see his therapist. I just love him so much and I know I'm not equipped with the skills to help him, so I just want some advice from anyone who possibly is. Thank you.

Summary: My boyfriend's depression has recently acted up and I don't know what to do to help him.

Edit: He stopped taking his antidepressants a few days ago because they were causing acid reflux so badly he couldn't keep food down.",5.486192696192696,6.020934853146857,5.954918414918418,80.66861693861695,67.6013986013986,9.152758352758351,30.574203574203572,9.150863307647796,2.455468376068376,1152,42,226,20,18,372,157,286,0.096,0.813,0.091,-0.6623,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,4,1,1,2,19,9,0,0,9,0,25,4,0,5,1,44,52,23,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,9,15,1,2,10,0,0,5,8,5,0,1,14,7,31,4,30,36,3,37,0,2,1,1,43,10,0,4,22,141,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746374017154707,0.0974838824264043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478499174610366,0.0,0.08412857220379309,0.0,0.0,0.0768952473766981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912394910893874,0.09182234649172967,0.13407628824503445,0.0,0.0935783983250177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577910949848506,0.0,0.11297193091873747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415989982620156,0.07092308942921477,0.0,0.18943810515495504,0.1116196541316937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962375737017069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046937047882415,0.100512766002894,0.0,0.13297904238887576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795496107976289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689550088927413,0.0,0.0,0.2211365111885985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478259642521585,0.0,0.09774850718766012,0.0,0.0,0.2417517833040575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925436952135312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209640806013365,0.11979216490400138,0.0,0.0,0.11082629656860134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777890713869996,0.0,0.08084235529755213,0.0,0.08481748157017713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774958626943973,0.105521467731552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624100375398779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479546769945705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045112473485836,0.11306992588942552,0.10858446132472174,0.11806918363033254,0.0,0.0,0.10460891992444207,0.17490890630969594,0.0,0.0,0.08763375130403525,0.20022945493383865,0.0,0.12423749071532465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466211341573683,0.0,0.0,0.15567803782481926,0.0,0.08782408734686811,0.0919418366618865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537109199359745,0.0,0.09612071021828633,0.1012477952712593,0.0,0.127686413112185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825156213351446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972912189295058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006120479473795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404750747318745,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ModernSleaze,2018/04/06,"I'm finally living my dream yet I can't seem to enjoy any of it. Advice? I'm living my dream of releasing the piece I have been working for over a decade. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, this piece has gained more media attention than most pieces in its genre, and it's my first big work ever. I have answered interviews for several publications around the world, I have gotten over a hundred drawings from fans, I have been giving inspirational talks and tutoring others, attending events in three different continents... and yet I still can't enjoy any of it.

It's not like I have big expectations that were not met. My expectations have always been low, and everytime something good happens to me, my natural reaction is to feel relieved that it wasn't something bad, but that's it. I keep worrying that something bad is going to happen to me, like I'll die in my sleep before I can completely finish this piece. For the last month or so, I wake up every few hours because I feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest. At one point I even woke up screaming, feeling an irrational fear towards my pillow, my bed, the very same spot where I was laying. My boyfriend could calm me down, asking me what was wrong, and I remember saying that I felt like a thousand spiders were being poured on me, and I asked him to kill them. Of course there weren't any, and I was well aware of that, but I was still terrified of having my back on the mattress.

It's been a week since I released that piece, people still come to me, telling me how they have been following my work for years, and that they cannot wait for it to be complete, and I just can't work like this.

My friends, my family, everyone's cheering on me and everyone one of them looks more excited about it than I am. I just want to enjoy the moment, and feel proud about my achievements. To feel excited that I'm living the life most people can only dream of, yet I feel like I have no right to feel sad...",7.231863753213368,6.318325470437018,7.223263496143961,77.9179286632391,64.2185089974293,10.762005141388176,32.81760925449871,10.008157457239328,2.947451311053984,1564,52,310,29,20,502,190,389,0.15,0.7240000000000001,0.126,-0.9405,1,0,3,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,4,8,19,28,1,2,13,0,38,5,4,1,1,46,67,16,2,4,7,0,8,6,1,0,1,2,3,0,24,15,0,2,13,3,0,6,9,9,1,5,18,11,53,19,46,46,11,46,0,3,1,0,15,22,0,4,24,223,77,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040767267034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698251845227731,0.0,0.0,0.18874655889445627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236077509626788,0.1729839763174464,0.0,0.0,0.07114075225442648,0.15449759392693824,0.05639821004350552,0.0,0.07872613768400072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593924010074461,0.1940070556560375,0.0,0.0,0.07386822043250428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601924067337554,0.0966617830226104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061107370419381316,0.08368797015496549,0.07795053790558057,0.17681012839535365,0.0,0.0,0.08721788491470063,0.10410864868144454,0.3274597217740595,0.13218998030017906,0.08883193991208901,0.10134911920676977,0.0,0.07869589744238656,0.0,0.0,0.07147929892498309,0.0,0.0,0.08875184694746363,0.10516040189227514,0.07759984095345174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636270021292179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963446200563373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111174869955188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223438927148156,0.1023576334848222,0.0,0.0,0.07541464653497536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534831067592067,0.2711981906699174,0.0,0.24508568405125056,0.0,0.07769195094324287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384711058155524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538539571919693,0.0703642277492012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282808824715311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745956327742789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480503702507613,0.07901000092992877,0.0,0.07357415219092177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422505578031231,0.0,0.10451918364320392,0.0,0.07653197587783388,0.0,0.09258497293136304,0.0,0.0,0.21367499284086044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216553600894281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743625904123246,0.0808649474919009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633716916051915,0.05456960631179412,0.0,0.0742124852767342,0.0,0.08318493450868952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26941728196399223,0.09395667980284772,0.0,0.0,0.10115408140005867,0.0,0.05957866005445794
mentalhealth,Anonymous-Designer,2018/04/06,"Thoughts that glitch reality? _I hope asking this question isn't a violation of rules, if so I apologise._

I don't really know if this is just a thing that happens but if a person has like wandering thoughts that every now and then cause them cause a brief disengagement with reality, what...is it and is it a cause for concern?

How often- It's a quite recent occurence, happens once every few days (3-4) and lasts about half a second to a second. Kinda feels like reality is tearing in a way. Like a glitch. It's...hard to explain.

I was prompted to ask this because it happened just a while ago but I swear I went blind for a flash of a second. All I saw was black. I don't really know if that's actually what happened though, because the place was already dark and maybe it's just me.",1.92625,4.216469152866246,3.7196775477707007,85.87149084394906,80.40127388535029,6.472770700636943,24.462181528662423,7.6454224807358475,1.3155226114649683,615,23,124,10,16,206,88,157,0.035,0.866,0.099,0.8412,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,9,5,1,0,14,0,10,1,0,4,1,29,25,15,0,5,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,14,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,7,4,10,4,10,18,2,12,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,8,10,84,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.13255698149010814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041099954496892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989912758360902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539778733410302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560952929887782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4186249906302212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760340557256943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288964823738071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868309466041332,0.0970417341199888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804796248374326,0.0,0.12168296265256558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134916449006483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930454729989154,0.11072500443954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990887861020168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364661785440719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446616053099753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186073284721914,0.14192039406229492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216814229273365,0.14447900401945565,0.0,0.0,0.1740408801382302,0.0,0.13412231024992866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902438383462258,0.0,0.1334588247463033,0.21567826337375484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782081478150823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592194091316822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shaunmcgg,2018/04/06,"Ensuring my traumatic past doesn’t affect my future relationships. Advice? Hi there. I am a 17 year old Male. When I was 11, I was sexually abused by my older cousin. He was early 30s. It ensued for 2 years every weekend. I felt like I had to return to him every weekend and stay with him as his brother whom I was much closer to had passed away by suicide and he told me I was a lifeline to his brother and I was the one who knew him best. He sexually abused for the first time 2 weeks after his brother died. 

2 years later, I told someone. I went through a court case for another 2 years, and in 2016 gave my statement and was cross examined by a defendant prosecutor. He brought up my dead mother, her drug addiction, whether or not I was spurring this “lie” because I wanted attention as I never got any from my parents. He asked me why I went back, etc. He really grilled me. Which *is* his job. For that, I do not blame him. I simply can’t understand how he sleeps at night defending people like my cousin. I don’t mean that in a vindictive way, I just worry that it mustn’t be good for your own health. Alas, that is not my worry.

2 years later, I am a gay man. I have recently began seeing a man, older than me (I hesitate to bring this up as I have been questioned before on whether or not my sexuality and attractions are related to my abuse: they are not) and we really have hit it off. He’s different. And for once, I feel this way and *SO* does he! He likes me too.

Here’s my trouble: I told him about the abuse on the first date because honestly it got to a point at which we were already comfortable enough to actually talk about these things, but then I sent him a text the other night (we’ve had a few dates since the first one by this point) by which I said something like:

*I feel lonely, I miss my mother and feel the pain of the abuse tonight. My mother killed herself with drugs and drink, and I almost killed myself with prescription pills. She wrote poetry, and I want to be a writer. I feel like she is embedded in me. Obviously I don’t want to kill myself now. Sometimes I just feel hollow*

Now, I felt immediate regret and when I woke up the next morning I sent an apology. He’s busy, so we don’t text often, but I’m quite needy of reassurance. The slightest change makes me think *oh no, they hate me*. We met up last night, and I apologised for the text. He said something along these lines:

*I know you handle your mental health very well, but maybe if you don’t tell people so much so soon and remember you don’t really know me that well yet, then you won’t feel so conflicted and guilty. You shouldn’t have sent me that so early into our relationship because if you do things like that, I won’t personally, but some people may take the incline to run the other way.* 

Now, I don’t want any comments on his response, because it is true. I’ve ruined relationship after relationship because all I do is spill my guts out and use boyfriends and friends as therapists. 

I go to therapy once a week now so I do have professional help and I will ask my therapist this question once I see her, but I think my question basically is:

How, when it gets to such a low point of loneliness and depression (there really is no other way to describe it), how do I refrain from oversharing with people that I shouldn’t *yet*. How do I refrain from making inappropriate decisions and it damaging my relationships?

Any advice is so, *so* helpful. Truly. I really like this man, and he may not be my guy for life but he’s my guy for now and I would really like it to stay that way. I want to learn from past mistakes.

PSA: I come from the UK, our legal age of consent is 16. I am completely legal and he knows that. I want to make it clear that I am extremely mature for my age and after everything I have survived I hope you have the respect to understand that I am not a child. I am done apologising for who I am. Younger/older relationships are completely normal in the LGBT community, especially gay men. And no, I’m not a gold digger! (That’s my one piece of humour for the day, thank you all, *takes a bow as curtains close*)",1.9591295477222308,4.118413293124249,3.7030496358843763,86.74245037156176,79.51869722557299,7.181885061579473,22.90043038615616,8.20709668869234,1.3300074491057203,3216,105,670,64,81,1075,343,829,0.129,0.745,0.125,-0.9375,3,3,5,0,5,2,117.0,6,10,2,6,37,36,4,0,34,0,66,13,2,9,7,126,128,62,6,16,22,9,8,8,1,9,8,2,1,9,42,40,1,3,26,3,0,12,25,14,2,6,35,12,128,22,79,80,11,97,0,7,2,2,101,23,0,13,63,454,170,5,0.0,0.3006870639780179,0.049530412856935865,0.05533139613466745,0.0,0.09919610820831964,0.0,0.0,0.05082467763401372,0.0,0.05601037072999966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354720748267242,0.05322196093946205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489978409056132,0.0,0.047686815805798415,0.03902813527997439,0.0,0.1547015530039878,0.0,0.043189511696650536,0.0,0.05326515993997292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369298628140578,0.043721692503831136,0.10643313956442216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03273334076339657,0.0,0.04371596118777499,0.0,0.052676585441191325,0.053029087051511166,0.0,0.0,0.044416808680683866,0.051940882691690685,0.0,0.049721435018354486,0.1177214032930076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244438728377546,0.05660621788311961,0.0,0.0,0.08552802836960377,0.0,0.04561610813428589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398217415245571,0.03626000759284584,0.0974672001126007,0.0,0.0,0.12951876529402387,0.0,0.0,0.039213863499572274,0.0,0.02651785007295929,0.0,0.02884573371160002,0.04257162026632027,0.08118822053651864,0.0,0.0,0.10051259312851996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050110919026793814,0.0,0.1079022443920884,0.0,0.0,0.06804118690843289,0.0,0.0,0.050412036735926334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036737466554501,0.0,0.1684615683692794,0.0,0.08368230536842816,0.041372812822278456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035850375889424704,0.1983740558959534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163982304982784,0.0,0.05099109898485885,0.05528802800534019,0.0,0.0,0.05114998458641511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462281706471482,0.0,0.039146060179748365,0.0,0.053979449398383145,0.14289285255526432,0.04972998148921184,0.0,0.0,0.1065195065427797,0.1621600527185708,0.10318048441687916,0.0,0.05400783007857588,0.0,0.0563583931807459,0.0,0.09690445260789178,0.14075093322117346,0.04431807273405841,0.0,0.0,0.14394212426562658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057458973583742,0.053985121249736284,0.0,0.0,0.19509308111110646,0.0,0.0501153038137093,0.32695689253229776,0.05749651266560636,0.0,0.09656092114247704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808917227632252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04198578470356263,0.0,0.050792530778069916,0.0,0.0430052885951612,0.07814870532261653,0.05019885868576664,0.0,0.0,0.10819801998027444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551868977608665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632420344638334,0.04079565012191659,0.04436287233560373,0.04672919088591705,0.05804376704328481,0.11786296690948465,0.06743989672723044,0.0650446311654366,0.0,0.0,0.029596159167207443,0.0,0.0,0.14549824238302475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567731277810644,0.0,0.04383678008472746,0.0,0.041878912866031084,0.1796227824267177,0.2014382573692596,0.0814266035446167,0.0,0.09127125520545618,0.09410241016451226,0.045799283059933915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030901106215001,0.0,0.036055517692165064,0.0,0.0,0.16342559859987366
mentalhealth,Dontreallycarewhy,2018/04/06,"Is there something wrong with me? Hello, I am a 14 year old high school kid. Since 6th grade I always feel isolated, but also very involved and social (one of the most unwell person). I don't know if it makes sense. At times I would think that life is so beautiful  and I'm glad I was born the person I am. Then there would be the other times where I hate people and wish I didn't exist. It's like the thought processes are from two different person. When I'm happy I would feel stupid and dumb that I was ever sad. But when I'm sad I can't beileve I ever been happy before. The sad sessions usually happens after something negative but shouldn't effect me much like a friend saying shut up or failing a English tests. But it usually happens I'm alone; that's when I usually feel extremely isolated and abandoned by people. Is there something wrong with me or is it just part of being a teenage?",3.5245714285714267,5.025377044444447,4.567619047619051,85.215,73.0,7.365079365079365,25.63492063492064,7.957251820313856,1.4818253968253967,708,23,139,10,14,231,104,180,0.271,0.597,0.132,-0.9826,1,1,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,12,16,3,0,9,0,19,1,0,2,2,32,34,18,0,6,8,0,3,2,1,4,1,1,0,4,8,7,0,1,7,0,0,0,5,10,0,2,5,4,16,6,9,23,3,20,0,5,0,0,9,5,1,4,17,92,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456726282034032,0.0,0.09618282074665577,0.10007733908126384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234404555683814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566039966268686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175888639292343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824419636541304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292314904248153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271524112435689,0.2560671438148178,0.0,0.11874536150801042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707574944772385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609927068313241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495285913458475,0.11751929239503715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028361726385892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884149957852274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620699797297796,0.0,0.08150056022788713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024467797583605,0.0,0.16676525568211512,0.3150550221597547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095646460059525,0.0,0.1217233881815584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994916333535268,0.0,0.0,0.12260387327565772,0.0,0.27777767136804843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706651955200781,0.0,0.09548386950716874,0.14026510340708565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748991172558328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39739340866815215,0.09923838445629696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830879962648487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25631692049543353,0.2630007827037508,0.0,0.07745230844810004
mentalhealth,Frigon_,2018/04/06,"Shall I text my therapist? Hi, well... it might seem like a stupid question, but for me it makes sense...
The situation is: I messaged my T to tell her if i could change the appointment two days before, because lately im feeling so self destructive, and i have urges to smoke and drink being only 16. In some way i dont mind ruining myself to die sooner, but a part of me wants to get help. 
When I texted her, she asked if i was fine and i told her i wasnt but she changed the subjet and she was kind of in a good mood so i didnt wanna ruin her night, so i acted like i was fine while i was having an axiety attack. 
Now i feel like a liar and alone because she thinks im fine but im not, is this stupid? I mean, i feel like i have lied yo her and i wanna tell her that i wasnt fine and that i felt self destructive.... Should i text her or wait 6 more days until i have the appointment?
Thanks <3 ",0.5320512820512846,2.1229236666666687,2.6134615384615394,95.62070512820515,81.56410256410257,5.9743589743589745,17.5,6.937597516519254,-0.2223846153846156,685,13,168,8,18,231,106,195,0.154,0.654,0.192,0.4378,0,1,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,6,21,6,0,9,0,19,1,0,1,0,33,33,20,1,7,8,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,1,8,1,0,1,5,8,1,1,9,4,38,12,12,19,3,12,0,2,0,0,21,2,0,7,12,109,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107913613578495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831754885134267,0.14398152809833376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543009500418739,0.0,0.10769417884360248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677697357567139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104874411657402,0.0,0.0,0.1632428854061437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131350445756809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483286726947959,0.12398170076191205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19197929254647447,0.18083055765954245,0.12151850840589215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612295384035545,0.0,0.0,0.10615345037528136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483124100956244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101231347721394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317939152989511,0.0,0.0,0.1427664392584561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24732545257332014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448052047174194,0.0,0.0,0.1378621462020135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426133231196807,0.12779063771779034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876902372845145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625542355235432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705334362190366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177740267289654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521647685455715,0.264061669311454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422599849264488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123996867030707,0.11652046163038862,0.0,0.14694719781205615,0.0,0.08109524588686122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093455965793724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363180971448927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464901892121738,0.10045831435853478,0.0,0.0,0.11379363293587293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vincchensko-123,2018/04/06,"How can I pull myself out of this bad bout of depression I’m having? I’m in kinda of a bad place at the minute, lost my job got no money no motivation no energy I’ve gained 13lb’s and I can’t see a end in sight, I’m a 25yo m and I have a girlfriend and a young child and a house, I was the main bread winner but lately my girlfriend has had to take extra hours in work to cover our bills, I feel like such a failure, I’m applying for at least 4 jobs daily but not getting so much as a reply in return, I suffer with anxiety daily but not depression it comes and goes, but I just need advise as to how I can help myself get out of this mood I’m in, any advise would be greatly appreciated here, thank you and god bless. ",-0.22409544950055604,1.6707249182389958,2.6777728449870537,92.52289678135408,85.98113207547169,5.502182759896412,16.271180170181278,6.794906146795322,-0.2561567887532372,558,11,131,7,17,197,101,159,0.177,0.652,0.171,-0.0232,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,4,6,11,0,0,10,0,10,1,0,3,0,24,25,15,0,2,7,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,10,1,0,2,0,2,2,6,6,0,0,4,3,14,4,20,19,4,17,1,4,2,0,8,10,0,1,6,82,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160623218110493,0.0,0.1480490155579123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32317695755937675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670793993086558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333721735988626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714090897721624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785398494039817,0.13825702578076526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022216389116788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478267442539909,0.21336620434054887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971828685453893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058690167408232,0.2233062715407206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38409497845872814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21830893548807045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454840463703154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125956540163424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226594846032511,0.1434991658672113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021964236173456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421741116419865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550958568559416,0.0,0.0,0.17817533359544108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089128394487302,0.0,0.0,0.1374773192294653,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katierose2,2018/04/06,"Advice and resources for counseling women in need Hey there!
I just started working in an environment where I am interacting with women who are homeless, mentally ill, suffering from drug addiction, or who are escaping domestic violence. Often, these women are experiencing stress from some sort of trauma. I find that I am learning how to interact with them, but have a lot of room to grow. Does anyone have resources on how to be helpful when it comes to listening skills and counseling advice? It's not my job to do so, but when the women come to me and need help I would like to be prepared and helpful. ",6.965982142857143,7.811845776785718,7.507142857142856,69.73785714285714,64.44642857142857,11.042857142857144,35.64285714285714,10.914260884657429,4.22895,485,22,81,13,7,160,77,112,0.085,0.768,0.147,0.8589,1,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,9,4,0,1,3,0,11,3,0,2,0,24,17,12,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,4,6,8,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,2,8,1,17,14,2,11,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,5,4,64,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250559008795684,0.0,0.4034720078675764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435138682603196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556687733120157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806617145082963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394110606429762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886873072292756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415127893555848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20486515201431602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085876866394827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755124515979495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804835347104472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061532181157913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612307928654905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364824476630592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502946714829808,0.0,0.0,0.14665285141441325,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,micstandman,2018/04/06,"Dealing with a breakup as a suspected sociopath Recently my girlfriend broke up with me following a string of a small few day breakups and monthly arguments that have plagued us since the three month point of our two and a half year relationship. We always fought and got back together, she'd say it was cause of me, I'd blame her. She'd storm off ranting and talking to herself, and would near the end bite my head off when I messed up in small things that shouldn't upset anyone. I wore her down I guess.

She struggles with low self esteem, gets depressed, and loved me unconditionally. I know that. And for some reason I just wasn't there with her most of the time. I enjoyed her company, saw her almost every day, yet I was somehow unavailable. I'm a script editor working towards being a full fledged comedy writer and for some reason, even when I wasn't working I behaved as it was. I was available sexually, and saw that as a goal, but deep down I knew the kind of person she was, how vulnerable was was with me, how she genuinely wanted to change me and how I ignored her for no good reason. 

We would fight about how I didn't communicate properly despite being the most social person at my workplace. I can talk to anyone about anything, but somehow my occasional emotional silence angered her. I always communicated that I cared for her and thought that by spending so much time with her I could show, even if I wasn't the best at expressing it, that she had a position of value in my life. But breaking up with me, (long story rather not disclose) she told me I was monster, a liar, that I exploited her, pretty much everything I realized to be true following  her putting it out there. I've come to terms with it now, but I feel so destroyed knowing I ruined such a great person. And I want to apologize and make amends and love her the correct way but I know she will never look at me the same and I will probably never see her again. I've prayed and I've pleaded and I've felt sad in a way I haven't in a long long time. 

I myself have in interest in human psychology and have read extensively on the subject. I believe my girlfriend must have as well because I somewhat agree with her diagnosis. I possess MANY of the characteristics of a textbook sociopath but while this may sound dumb, I don't feel like one. I just feel like a person who sees the world for what it is and is motivated to succeed in it none the less.  I am struggling to feel in the proper way, constantly wondering what someone more emotionally intelligent would do, and at the same time able to understand why someone is upset (from a rational perspective) and always administer the perfect relationship or social interaction advice to my friends. What do I do? I know there is so much here...",6.332814252336448,6.652277577570096,6.788630257009348,76.16939398364491,65.74766355140186,9.902453271028037,33.91501168224299,9.751328689232952,3.1694217289719617,2204,92,415,43,32,719,261,535,0.126,0.738,0.135,0.8427,0,0,0,0,1,0,53.0,4,0,0,7,28,33,6,4,31,0,42,4,1,10,6,97,76,43,0,10,12,0,5,2,3,8,1,2,0,6,21,34,0,1,19,2,1,4,12,17,1,4,22,12,79,16,63,40,17,63,1,5,5,2,53,30,1,13,27,314,100,7,0.08018618452981363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835701148250937,0.0,0.0,0.08029488093625105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001639873303542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121360892898018,0.0,0.06598639756232527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165822630564442,0.0,0.04888075382811773,0.0,0.0,0.09034237092587262,0.08415045356959086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175515925720038,0.08237329981321953,0.08482635092390586,0.06907329780242544,0.0,0.08665277881278766,0.0,0.06402214353783675,0.0,0.0,0.10342691076838993,0.08266843528669063,0.06906424323756129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803973296613306,0.0710211589729035,0.0,0.0,0.10592443725604883,0.0,0.06756031886814842,0.0,0.07206617222037036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217817689415873,0.11457005250011222,0.07699131202155922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195164725730304,0.0,0.041893971854110736,0.0,0.0,0.06725636717585079,0.06413221691585412,0.08840555152621861,0.08833412252996899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822941590423857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350157180527483,0.17627291987077728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056637873520613086,0.07834983880127411,0.0,0.0,0.212886749990438,0.06733619959841558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447423244316424,0.0,0.05352490082957792,0.0812962053939052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280076949417462,0.0,0.1768382159101675,0.0,0.12368905766173124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433623387216846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28006193362445225,0.0,0.0,0.07580186284601655,0.0,0.0,0.08157817712052383,0.08645426916345106,0.0,0.0,0.08060926302524116,0.0,0.0,0.08020788405014542,0.0,0.0,0.2473342580604689,0.07917418348980983,0.17217990668636687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376727237589079,0.0,0.0,0.12779601465990564,0.0,0.08365167842163115,0.0,0.0,0.06633084046422899,0.0,0.0,0.16347943408762872,0.13588298787621392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765602071557362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890123545275742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327213796671548,0.0,0.0,0.0636588736329431,0.1870288361581949,0.0,0.0,0.07662133562168258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783302507773108,0.08347664601321854,0.0964541069248722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459177837617457,0.19094418276029826,0.0,0.0,0.0720970098659289,0.0,0.07235555937499878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695849660895859,0.11675299470110564,0.0,0.0,0.17088589450785605,0.0,0.0,0.0516372738298709
mentalhealth,abbys11,2018/04/06,"How to act more ""Millennial"" Hi everyone
This is a weird one and idk if there is indeed a ""fix"" to my problem.

So a brief history. I am an ""academically brilliant"" 20 year university student but I have never been able to gel in with people my age.
All my friends have been 40+ year old individuals most of whom are professors who are around the age of my parents.

A lot of people, including my therapist has said that I don't sound like a millennial. Most are shocked when they learn my age.

I really don't mind making friends with older individuals. But the problem is that they're all committed to their families so we never have time to do things together. I've been to occasional brunches with profs but that is kinda rare too.

Dating has been shambolic too. It's not like I am introverted or anything. I am not. But I just don't have a way to relate with ""kids these days"". Snapchat, Kanye whatever, I just can't make that kind of a conversation.
I can talk science, politics, philosophy, whatever. I love cooking and I've really enjoyed making multi-course gourmet meals for my dates. But in their words, I am a little too ""bland and old"" to be their type. 

My parents say that I matured way too quickly and they wish I could ""enjoy my life"" like they did in their college years. 

This is weird to say, but is there a way I could be more ""immature"". Be able to relate with 20~ year olds around me?

Thanks

EDIT: My apologies if this comes off as pretentious. I don't ever talk highly of myself but this is just the most common description of me that I hear from people around me.",2.605728155339804,4.903134475728159,4.160333333333334,83.58050000000001,78.02912621359224,7.6151456310679615,24.863106796116504,8.548686976883017,1.8234706796116509,1239,45,246,27,30,412,158,309,0.068,0.8170000000000001,0.115,0.9656,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,1,0,7,0,18,15,0,0,13,0,37,5,0,4,6,52,46,19,0,7,15,2,0,3,2,0,1,5,0,1,15,14,3,0,1,1,0,3,9,5,0,1,6,5,38,10,31,35,8,36,0,0,0,1,25,9,0,8,24,176,53,8,0.21802600554519905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970841277204163,0.291134053699018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939050492176585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17407602449030465,0.0,0.0,0.07030436836761972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860850212000817,0.0,0.10416659579882087,0.0,0.0,0.10276775710521396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844635104732994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286557694843415,0.0,0.0,0.11517822265842464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135202670148296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699910775578943,0.1597747400856885,0.10925966752155056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092678956615394,0.09838849115406216,0.0,0.21830107755164888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007205668647717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681550963533527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34317242534688924,0.0,0.07387003195740012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209207751975054,0.0,0.0,0.226727670316185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20862144225154064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967304202719488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369632936318966,0.17338303053263504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524104457892464,0.0,0.1003645265941818,0.0,0.12657249839544268,0.07242339510129273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356635857604867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25958834238983985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253595732327515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28080319861545505
mentalhealth,stored___data,2018/04/06,"I feel really weird thinking about my childhood? Uh, I don't know what to say. I am extremely uncomfortable and anxious thinking about my childhood, even when what I recall is a good memory.
It's all just scrambled. My dad used to be somewhat rich, treated me like a princess on different occasions, like taking pictures and printing calendars, mousepads for relatives. ( Yuck, I hate thinking about the brat I was. )
I had lots o' toys, plushies, was glued to my nintendo and the PC. But uh, at the same time I know he was a crippling alcoholic. Already abused my mother before I was born, was loud and scary, etc. Lost his money and all. It's just weird that realisticially, I have a good batch of good memories, but am absolutely uncomfortable thinking about them. But I only have a few bad memories, really. But no matter WHAT I think about, there is just an underlying sense of uneasiness and confusion.

Did I maybe surpress memories or events? Our whole situation was WEIRD. I don't know how to feel about my past. Shouldn't I feel really bad? So why do I barely remember bad stuff?

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mentalhealth,CrazyFredy,2018/04/06,"How to act around a self-destructive person? I recently discovered that my sister \(13 years old\) has been cutting herself in the arms, apparently because she got bullied in school about her body. She's getting help now and going to therapy. I'm still shocked and have a hard time understanding how she of all people could do that to themselves, and I'm afraid as hell that she might still do something to herself. How can I act around her in a way that doesn't accidentally trigger some switch and upset her? Just what the hell do I do.",6.862168284789648,7.07970183495146,6.571019417475728,78.52733818770228,64.63106796116503,9.585113268608417,33.671521035598715,9.2995712137729,2.8476938511326866,431,17,82,7,6,135,69,103,0.197,0.76,0.043,-0.9495,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,3,2,5,0,11,2,2,4,1,16,17,8,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,2,1,13,0,12,13,2,16,2,0,0,0,12,5,2,2,7,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850775780281834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318448381726194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24024298355212986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268533099738692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299956541047065,0.0,0.12291929264208296,0.0,0.17298222917458864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937481567300259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497073724890205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22944335244478875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269538803853838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994422852297104,0.18885101714504726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135545504549601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21889115282954386,0.0,0.0,0.2256315858619944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650614047802256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34544967601561444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24733982704601026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611705377744226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251594753122416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716763272825056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927993082337306
mentalhealth,ronakrrb,2018/04/06,"7 common impacts of addiction to social media on mental health “What’s on your mind” Social Media? What social media does to your mental health ? Stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, jealousy, loneliness, low self esteem and what not?
http://blog.mascots.co.in/health/7-common-impacts-of-addiction-to-social-media-on-mental-health/",8.990884353741496,13.455430571428574,7.582755102040818,55.24379251700682,69.81632653061226,9.797278911564627,32.656462585034014,9.725611199111238,5.157609523809524,274,12,25,8,6,83,30,49,0.34,0.66,0.0,-0.9318,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333600679691733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760159899816273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114696881148428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230891781798278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5980438028073387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252450651226588,0.0,0.1420226535338326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467350802920563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5735250825701335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112118838251913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xerlos,2018/04/06,"The injustices towards people with mental illness hurt so bad Not only do you have to deal with the illness itself, but also with injustice. To me it hurts so much. Some examples: 

 1. Making you overly responsible for your illness.

 2. Interpreting normal behaviour as abnormal behaviour, just because you have a label (called the halo effect) 

 3. Making illogical connections (you did x today, thats why you are feeling bad!)

 4. Being treated by incompetent health care workers who cant see the difference between a good argument and mental illness symptoms. 

 5. Health care workers unconcsiously using dubble standards: your health is no longer a priority in society. 

Got any more?",4.765594202898548,8.256495530434787,6.177391304347825,64.42898550724638,80.65217391304347,8.631884057971014,32.88405797101449,9.029198982220553,4.4077362318840585,546,29,69,16,15,183,89,115,0.242,0.64,0.118,-0.9512,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,7,0,3,4,8,0,0,7,0,8,8,0,4,0,16,16,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,8,4,12,13,3,4,0,2,1,0,10,3,0,1,1,50,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255876365535296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679497064389304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622495388200281,0.09573226480911262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035898011354094,0.0,0.3202326454719842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190496091875034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640770407802529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940591623895872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172064357309016,0.12560203948925916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5007897157329145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362366465807469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096555220124746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165258379327644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544504798631693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386929427769794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943866443241725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887419477708613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514334332886076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322833562471828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885888290243224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563516842464365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417073393519223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gaymemelord_,2018/04/06,"How to talk to parents (again)? Sorry for the long post- 
So three years back I finally talked to my parents (I’m 17 now) about how I was feeling depressed/anxious for almost 5 years and I was too scared to tell them. They were really supportive and helpful, got me into therapy and a psychologist (who diagnosed me with depression, bipolar, and anxiety and gave me Zoloft and Lorazepam dailies). I went to therapy once every two weeks, or more as needed, for almost a year. Then my parents slowly stopped booking me therapy appointments thinking I was better (and I thought I was better too), and stopped getting me refills of my medication. I’ve been med free for about two years and haven’t seen my therapist in a year or so. The past year and a half I’ve been having terrible insomnia and restless legs (so bad that they prevent me from sleeping even when I am tired), when I do sleep terrible night terrors that make me wake up crying (this happens 5/7 days of the week) and occasional depressive episodes. The thing that’s worrying me most is that for the past three months-ish about 20 times a day my heart rate and anxiety will skyrocket for NO reason whatsoever, and my heartrate will get into the 110-140bpm range for anywhere from 5-30 minutes. I could be watching netflix, doing work in class, even peeing (it’s happened) and my heart will just start pounding. Sometimes it will turn into a full blown panic attack where I can’t breathe; and sometimes it’s just the scary fast heartrate and I can feel it throughout my whole entire body. 
I don’t know what to do, I’m worried to tell my parents because I’m afraid they’re gonna freak out that I’m getting worse, and send me back to the psychologist to get me drugged up again. I don’t feel depressed nearly as much as I was before, it’s just the anxiety and insomnia/restless legs that is terrible. I don’t know what medication I would get prescribed (if any) because starting new medications worry me. 
If anyone could give me any advice on what to do/if you have any idea what medication I would be prescribed if I did go back to my psychologist for these symptoms, it would be greatly appreciated. ",6.816440129449839,7.022615902912621,6.800145631067963,76.88461974110034,64.72815533980582,9.876375404530746,36.098705501618134,9.621722640351123,3.382766666666667,1720,78,318,31,24,548,208,412,0.16699999999999998,0.7829999999999999,0.05,-0.9925,4,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,3,3,24,19,1,5,15,0,35,21,10,4,0,56,66,35,0,9,8,4,3,0,0,8,11,1,0,0,20,24,0,3,9,2,1,3,6,14,0,5,14,6,45,6,40,39,5,47,0,3,2,0,17,12,0,8,31,212,65,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691128958022694,0.0,0.0,0.14164429282353294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442888736388086,0.0,0.16231621667269794,0.0,0.0,0.04945345482254637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046134635826799,0.0,0.16315241569540825,0.0590534840428254,0.08622815960287547,0.0,0.06018284941931126,0.0,0.0,0.1251032826088706,0.0,0.07856094564006272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293834850646715,0.0,0.07768949026974371,0.0912251905967845,0.0,0.1827493069055714,0.07178567871520637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202002302751824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342807307837972,0.0,0.05958993573082739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072839867392399,0.0,0.0,0.07747717542658555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475779363679973,0.06784708608422522,0.04019537105554745,0.0,0.056566261798580014,0.0779759660989311,0.0,0.0,0.1250860199645909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762194900342922,0.047406330207931016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984135382652062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773862040737865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259052632474442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047210336686808935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856094564006272,0.2849971186391809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199194881148464,0.05244263554985154,0.0,0.06830787556404785,0.0,0.06637181644802165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532117290524326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298204299709405,0.3141326268409016,0.0,0.13503246159214674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773621936057803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530906178381948,0.07271838848984376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080933796224663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415547021190046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990018569906984,0.0791722726156061,0.10012084066414448,0.0,0.0,0.11826066293502532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025933689951284,0.0,0.0735116786593571,0.0,0.11369419897565645,0.12363576066032834,0.0,0.2426449724343493,0.08211865463365366,0.046987393352534455,0.0453185401870114,0.0,0.05614876087081893,0.0412410587797442,0.08128944700749585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692987588842155,0.138178584346503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346470074195515,0.0,0.0,0.06556396400939532,0.0,0.0789633584598869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148956937428373,0.21547789128980954,0.07207611489970578,0.15072574614251774,0.0,0.0,0.2732724072699279
mentalhealth,Nintendoiscooliguess,2018/04/06,"Diagnosed with Antisocial personality disorder and schizoid personality disorder I’m almost 18, from the UK. I have an older sister and two younger brothers whom I’m not allowed to be alone with. My mum and psychologist are the only people I have ever cared about. I’m not allowed to be out by myself for too long. I usually spend that time doing [legal] things I would be in big trouble for. 

I’ve never once thought there was something wrong with me or that being neurotypical was somehow better. I have attempted suicide before but not because of depression. I consider myself advantaged. When I was younger, I began seeing therapists. Mutilating small animals used to be extremely fun for me. It sort of became a regular activity that I wouldn’t stop doing (like an idée fixe I guess). That feeling isn’t quite there anymore. It’s become so mundane and far too easy. I’ve always wanted a gun for hunting. Bigger animals I mean, but mum won’t allow it. I know that this kind of behaviour can only lead to worse things, but I really don’t care. I guess she thinks that ‘people like me’ shouldn’t have such things because we’d hurt others. Obviously, that makes sense, it’s just ridiculously absurd. I’m not an idiot. I wouldn’t kill a person with a gun. 

When my mum first found out about my proclivities, I was about 8 or 9. She wasn’t pleased at all. I soon realised that in order to continue my hobby, I would need to hide it from her. That made it incredibly exciting for a while, but it was just a temporary boost. I’ve seen multiple psychiatrists but I’ve had the same psychologist for years now. I never disliked therapy, it was almost like a necessary course I needed to take if I wanted to evolve, for lack of a better word. One thing I immediately noticed during my sessions is that my lies were transparent. They saw through me very easily. I tried to justify what I did as some sort of unexplainable moment of being possessed. That it’s not actually me that’s like this, it’s something else that coexists within me. I know that’s not true and that I didn’t have to do anything, I just really wanted to. 

Honestly though, I don’t do it anymore now, the last time being a year ago, but my mum thinks I’ve been serious about “getting better” from the beginning. I’ve never felt remorse for anything except withholding the truth from her. That being said, it still doesn’t keep me from lying to her. I have secret keepsakes to try and relive past thrills. I’ve been described as so meticulously methodical it’s obsessive. My mum thinks I am rehabilitating, but my psychologist thinks I am ‘escalating’; she believes that over the years I haven’t ceased my harmful ways at all. Towards the end of a recent sessions, she openly expressed her thoughts about me, saying “...my unprofessional opinion is that you’ve just become frighteningly patient and better at lying.” I think it’s a waste that someone so perceptive isn’t a cop. I’ve always been attracted to males, but I think I might love her or at least admire her very much. I am capable of love. I love candy, old rock music, and video games. But never have I felt any emotional attachment to anyone besides my mum and psychologist. I get the feeling that she thinks I’m going to be a serial killer or something however.

My secretiveness often causes me to experience overwhelming feelings of paranoia whenever I find subtle changes in my room (i.e. breaks in dust, slightly warm spots on the floor). But ultimately, I can always tell when someone was in my room because of my door. My door is rigged where I would need to spend a decent amount of time slightly adjusting the knob until it clicks shut. Whenever it’s out of that position, my door is not completely shut. In this scenario, I would I take my favourite pillow out of its pillowcase, undo the small stitch I put in place in its corner and remove a key. I use said key to open a chest under my bed. This chest is filled with acrylic paints and rubber gloves. I put on a pair of gloves and retrieve another key from one of the paints. This opens the Master Lock Padlock I have on a chain on my mini refrigerator. This refrigerator contains things I don’t want my mum to know about. She always questions me about it but recently she’s been determined to get me to remove the lock. Of course I couldn’t, so she said she would to tell my therapists about it; I’d rather they continue being suspicious of me than my mum know my actual disposition. If my mum actually does tell them, then it will only confirm my psychologist’s theory. 

It felt really good making this post. Anonymous venting on the internet is indeed a form of therapy. ",5.016857133051921,6.652432267270672,6.07823689900134,75.31374094855694,69.47565118912797,9.337925117540069,29.57357836576409,9.725611199111238,2.9392493016232537,3704,143,662,88,66,1231,379,883,0.098,0.758,0.14300000000000002,0.9923,4,1,4,2,0,1,102.0,1,0,3,10,34,36,3,2,38,0,70,6,2,10,10,136,130,42,2,21,30,11,7,4,0,11,1,4,7,4,58,24,0,4,27,3,2,7,25,11,0,4,29,15,110,25,100,78,9,90,0,3,4,3,50,41,0,18,42,455,168,4,0.0,0.0,0.17201147783797593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208344805594304,0.0,0.11767083974200035,0.06085326149528375,0.0,0.0,0.1955580413980133,0.0,0.0,0.03995594077731675,0.06161055148799637,0.0,0.0,0.11653987825935255,0.04108340294629431,0.0,0.09670199049019017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745092245811788,0.12978227117015906,0.049996835651257114,0.0661976363074177,0.0,0.20785882756895413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981085382857165,0.06035836437092836,0.062155817588112165,0.0,0.06160431060236333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506062615894642,0.05963587326735105,0.0,0.0,0.13467841350406284,0.0,0.05141757330712545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908290935357478,0.06609233683687914,0.05204017565221045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314796093033088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574744207974587,0.0,0.0,0.08912605343163242,0.0,0.1692442699854304,0.0,0.05370171249614625,0.04997763089366941,0.0,0.06442267290756179,0.0,0.0,0.09209239974055383,0.0,0.03339226008731743,0.04928155513339615,0.0,0.0,0.12945221731166953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289927070976799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522248311201392,0.06500455794660802,0.061185096481459374,0.1291625459998917,0.04789379740234705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148204121843828,0.0,0.0,0.051997010579891235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908813859132578,0.05559613350746398,0.07843987006748518,0.0,0.0,0.06400226214827677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233059054815428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043192254022493534,0.13069998459710885,0.1812642986980456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689383752020052,0.061654300466256265,0.06257298115889813,0.07962886542209388,0.13405924006936473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608903412639805,0.08146771055721172,0.15390982522062285,0.061387277741698214,0.06449619523661039,0.0,0.0,0.056271789383266387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181315615710878,0.06581991317091503,0.062493997470815923,0.0,0.0,0.11292135902714795,0.0,0.11602847589412127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676705865049926,0.04672494934319203,0.0,0.0,0.04682074431572785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995671523738901,0.13569919488148766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469224365868327,0.04912245752586401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642692797224517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835405879844384,0.0,0.15406540732107138,0.0,0.1343846951466239,0.13643996318671184,0.1951736255257653,0.2635382902741896,0.057727249109707474,0.09329104209476947,0.1027828920260337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978262670452935,0.0,0.05739585312720925,0.0,0.0,0.10149224676445656,0.06471118351821216,0.096959333021524,0.13862270999630352,0.046637598120136015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987715280668333,0.20869207841911894,0.06424021464780197,0.0,0.11351037518268392
mentalhealth,JT06141995,2018/04/06,"I seemed to have hit a total block mentally... I’m 22 and since the end of high school I’ve been struggling. I don’t know where turn as far as my next major move in life. There are things I want to do but I’m not sure if I can make a living in music production. I haven’t had a job in 4 months now but I’m ubering and driving for door dash. I get so bored of jobs. I’ve worked at a meat dept for years, a lumber yard for years, then a lead greens keeper at a country club. The money is nice but I never enjoyed my work. I have no desire to do any of these things again but I need steady income. I feel like I can’t do anything right now but it’s out of my control. Has anyone else ever felt like they know they need to do something but just have 0 desire or drive? It eats at me every day and it feels like a disability. ",-0.01884004884004753,1.6909256263736268,2.0335531135531157,98.49200244200243,83.94505494505495,4.703785103785104,16.155067155067155,5.46131890053228,-0.9023892551892552,632,11,157,3,18,211,114,182,0.092,0.785,0.123,0.7537,3,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,4,8,8,0,1,10,0,16,2,0,3,4,33,32,15,0,6,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,4,1,2,6,2,1,4,6,2,0,0,3,4,17,6,20,28,2,27,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,3,15,93,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440145248626334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734741460790594,0.15730328162597285,0.12633701108121756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219000257684142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901015402076244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709318057343175,0.12824943998500274,0.0,0.13597652364164672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887107173208565,0.12935042779739656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525249815355266,0.21935487504998288,0.1474069292968756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020985205882628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622063298487805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046973762503059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874533732500524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843840426099696,0.2250119301519428,0.0,0.13556433319056135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024783324902752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547158870421108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225412370713348,0.16317150926709112,0.0,0.22767191338610515,0.11840702346022144,0.0,0.16327430913700894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110849129659854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537428769453282,0.0,0.1397623068315354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269964786127426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819012618424465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604964153935688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144694370068372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039887896066536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669898152184126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905523183139028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235343181355988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19772859489371336
mentalhealth,SharonaZamboni,2018/04/06,"I need help for a family member Hi
My 30ish great nephew has been building from mania to a psychotic break today. He’s been brought to the hospital, but I’d like to know who I can call to get him further help. I think he needs a guardian, but don’t know how to do any of these things. 
Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks!",2.2200497512437813,4.103644164179105,3.5590298507462705,89.4351616915423,77.50746268656717,6.854726368159205,23.106965174129357,7.793537801064563,0.9628129353233832,257,8,56,4,6,84,51,67,0.0,0.713,0.287,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,8,15,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,4,8,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,2,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308890612427484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213555849022331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412672316777276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22274277145660712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234460024714559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5209967663223682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167456073606896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597054700112369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154339630052434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503957040330876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217533917633629,0.0,0.0,0.1569732394436032,0.15139801449800114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396482294337156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AeonsOfStrife,2018/04/06,"I......I Think Im becoming a Psychopath Ok, so I like to believe I'm a semi normal human being. I go to school, I have romantic interests, and I have passions. But over the last few months I've become......darker. I've started to just randomly think of killing people. It will be a fleeting thought, the first thing that comes into my head when I see something I even mildly dislike. Ill just immediate think ""If only I could kill them"" or ""I want to murder you"". I generally am able to snap out of it immediately after this thought, and am disgusted with them. But as of the last few weeks, I cant seem to snap out of it quickly. My line of thought will go on for minutes at a time........and even then It only ends when something else grabs my attention. I seriously don't want to be a killer, and I don't think I have it in me. But this thing I become for a short time terrifies me. I don't know what to do, as my therapist is now saying I'm just messed up beyond help. What do I do?",2.261176470588236,3.4957242843137233,4.363872549019606,86.48492647058826,75.76470588235293,7.452941176470588,25.495098039215684,8.07648339933343,1.3871921568627448,750,26,166,12,16,259,112,204,0.168,0.742,0.09,-0.9636,0,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,2,1,11,10,4,0,9,1,19,3,1,0,0,32,37,14,3,5,8,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,12,8,0,0,10,0,0,3,4,6,0,1,3,3,25,4,28,28,2,27,0,0,1,1,6,10,0,4,15,115,37,1,0.1365028557648142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015133594150527,0.0,0.15379197426909166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758512345251815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898642298973936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403062032762168,0.0,0.12090101401350113,0.0,0.0,0.18031769768713235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610925938103475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551554372813789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009131108954093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149498686244684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744650823365327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302040370646231,0.0,0.07501839967026078,0.2225360924835769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668840030111617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895527715826664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374381634901314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20763314572680072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463389287490752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855254972763416,0.0,0.13814817757365472,0.10877510296024384,0.12426707319956362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21017313458780496,0.0,0.0,0.09661742388667836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584903364996382,0.18137286386160836,0.3498620729214079,0.0,0.3251040598809383,0.15919182584670166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102584199425848,0.0,0.10949435716920188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SanguineCane,2018/04/06,"Paranoia! I'm on the edge of a breakdown. I am a 20 year old female diagnosed with bipolar disorder and panic disorder as well as GAD. 
I'm becoming increasingly suspicious of the people around me.

When I think logically, I know I'm being irrational, but sometimes I can spend hours in a state of extreme paranoia before I figure out how ridiculous I'm being. 

These days it seems like I spend more time worrying about being kidnapped or murdered than I do enjoying my life. 
I worry that servers are poisoning my food, packages I receive have bombs in them, or my significant other is plotting to kill me. 

I don't know what to do. I'm not happy. My paranoia is getting worse and worse. I'm starting to sound like I regularly wear tinfoil hats and my family thinks I'm ridiculous. They make fun of me but they don't have a clue just how miserable I am. I never feel safe. 

I know I must not be too far gone, especially since I recognize that I'm developing a problem. It's always been there but it's progressing into something scary. I can't live my life comfortably anymore and it's extremely depressing. 

I'm thinking about checking myself into the hospital again... But I'm scared they'll keep me against my will. Which will make me even more paranoid. I need help, but I'm afraid the help will only make things worse....",3.240091145833333,5.564933035156251,4.6106250000000015,81.00520833333336,76.0703125,7.8604166666666675,29.026041666666664,8.72156446121922,2.562880729166667,1051,47,193,23,24,348,147,256,0.289,0.608,0.104,-0.9951,0,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,4,1,12,19,5,4,9,0,23,7,1,5,2,40,50,16,2,3,10,0,1,2,0,5,5,1,0,0,11,9,1,2,10,0,3,3,6,11,1,0,2,2,35,8,21,39,3,21,0,2,0,0,7,8,0,3,11,123,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066256210112686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708387548932926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140748441096136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152437977844926,0.10904064311144776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264192827870606,0.0,0.11036977115255864,0.13006291075985826,0.0,0.0,0.293727005527864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463754434549045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080224613701512,0.0,0.06479318179227009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549515760257563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694966699780212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641109206383978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178371523790867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619549193541585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389979180779505,0.14177174837854542,0.0,0.21127287704736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102302569321133,0.1252088399577725,0.0,0.11315301962196375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566102564189557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501674915678206,0.09883213330263776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446500135170011,0.0,0.0,0.09745887289187502,0.0,0.1503487359340869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888385378420673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261598154043525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829395457672876,0.0,0.0,0.11665698989637137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600159126064636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865109319314187,0.12673715491395987,0.0,0.090700597929599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513281838142578,0.2463274577995345,0.0,0.0,0.0747214798789065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521635663646368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602718002359456,0.3917673887562732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252018451778666
mentalhealth,omgzitsmare,2018/04/06,"Wellll how do I handle this. So I verbally accepted an offer on Friday, reached out to them with a suggested start date.  Didn't hear anything back until today where I find out that there will be a two week probation period where after that time they will decide if they want to continue my employment.  This was not discussed when I accepted the offer and was never sent an offer letter yet.  Is this a red flag? I'm kinda getting insane anxiety over this. ",5.4720689655172405,6.6918653448275895,6.612126436781613,73.48301724137933,67.9655172413793,9.937931034482759,28.29310344827586,10.125756701596842,3.0473310344827587,363,12,61,9,6,122,67,87,0.046,0.8640000000000001,0.09,0.3816,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,1,1,14,14,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,2,8,2,9,7,0,20,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,2,13,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26220391435567203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820552317809668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635547014885261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31326860777849097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907348147587085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863057846330917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643510413990813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426012342037439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986112168988515,0.0,0.3248882893706516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348183543068555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021636803953871,0.0,0.2749345316715333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,happygiraffie,2018/04/06,"Am I in denial about my mental health? I’m a bit new to posting on Reddit and currently on mobile so I apologize if this isn’t the right place to post this issue/I’m breaking any rules.

I’m a twenty three year old female. I’ve always been annoyed of individuals who mistaken sadness for depression as a means to seek attention. As a result, I’ve always been afraid to self-diagnose myself with any type of mental illness. I tell myself I’m not depressed, I’m just sad. I tell myself I don’t have anxiety, I’m just anxious. I also want to put out there that I didn’t have the best childhood and many individuals in my immediate family suffer from mental health issues. 

However in the past year and more so in the past few months I’ve been struggling more and more with my thoughts and feelings. I have this nagging feeling that maybe it might be more.

The smallest things will leave me down for weeks at a time. When I’m in this state, I want to burst out crying at random times. I often feel hopeless and unmotivated. Even when I’m not feeling down, I’m always so tired even with a full night’s sleep. My body always aches. I often can’t sleep because I either feel so anxious or have unwanted thoughts. It’s like I’m constantly feeling panicked as if I’m about to fall down a flight of stairs except I’m just laying in bed doing nothing. Every time I think I’m doing fine I get thrown back into this cycle that lasts for weeks. I’m not and have never been suicidal. I’ve tried eating better and working out which has only slightly helped. 

Does anyone have any suggestions? Is it normal to feel this way? Am I really just sad and experiencing periods of anxiousness rather than depression and anxiety? If not, how should I go about seeking help? I don’t think I’d be able to afford therapy seeing as it’s quite expensive. Any input would really be appreciated. 

Edit: I also wanted to add that I’m still able to get up and function and go to work like a normal person every day. I’m not in this funk every minute of my life. I’m able to converse and joke with people normally. ",3.4448447909284177,5.209571985542173,4.97945074415308,81.1024149539334,73.72289156626506,7.581148121899362,24.736002834868888,8.313332769828598,1.6302331679659812,1654,52,313,28,34,556,205,415,0.153,0.757,0.09,-0.9794,3,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,0,5,24,18,2,2,13,0,28,9,3,2,1,67,64,30,1,13,16,0,7,2,0,4,5,0,1,1,18,22,1,0,13,1,1,4,11,12,0,1,7,9,27,6,54,50,9,56,0,8,1,0,9,23,0,8,26,193,45,4,0.2290588385387985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211884694853213,0.2541270709136723,0.0,0.0,0.2076904866248639,0.0,0.11681958968037945,0.2587712885426186,0.0,0.053387755263200214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871070262601229,0.0,0.046544047308659235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012770641305372,0.06752797613949847,0.08335764198843845,0.0848109106659433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251040993907849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387012612014487,0.04924133376420343,0.0,0.1972880419902631,0.07749663315540271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681697773519203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812812547564063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086080169967973,0.0,0.1929919506956359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197876241993408,0.0,0.2702444061642221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978252605440456,0.0,0.08678627773640317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231922272837218,0.0,0.0,0.10235554074631012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796926386933127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223784182834913,0.0,0.08084674550908275,0.0,0.0,0.05393034391153098,0.07460438553414088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740990335733758,0.07670679697089461,0.08317074202276101,0.0,0.0,0.2308374340333152,0.0809984099405221,0.0,0.0,0.060944193190959235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058888099103532036,0.07374215120557973,0.0,0.07165206769913132,0.22442902797164804,0.07326271110967172,0.0,0.08011957306747877,0.0,0.0,0.05806985616511118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577505328874038,0.05293351914844193,0.06666844753360181,0.07977257786148151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625003307264509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675579973573937,0.0,0.08121075673192049,0.0,0.0,0.09782730490315293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520499885196779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084341265587439,0.0,0.07965277482413732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281617472838668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060975561448149515,0.0,0.0,0.07982067734886752,0.0,0.08351773053585128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347168070660054,0.0,0.08731624818161343,0.0,0.05072550473495237,0.09784776983009127,0.0,0.1212314211195036,0.1335660507943579,0.0877564796613255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183863851693022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510483768004974,0.06060541474025807,0.12249145577311644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117170835589707,0.0,0.0,0.05423894229294105,0.0,0.0,0.09833758801997804
mentalhealth,Zhirea,2018/04/06,"Hanging by a thread (39/F) Yesterday we had to tell our landlord that we couldn't pay the rent. I'm also way behind on utilities and fear every night that I'm going to come to a house without electricity or water.
I quit my job on August because of my mental health. After working on the same field for 15 years, I finally snapped. My SO had been unemployed since December 2016 and working odd jobs (that I'd usually find for him) and I thought we could last a while with my savings.
Those ended on December 2017.
I found a job with FEMA and after a grueling process and significative amounts of money invested in equipment, started just to be out three weeks later because ""the workload ended"". Thousands of us were hired and then laid off.
Last month I found another job and was fired in a week. According to them, ""I didn't meet the requirements"" but then, why would they make me do an exam, four interviews and hire me in the first place? 
I don't have money for food, my meds, debts, etc. My SO is out of work and caring for his aging parents. It's just me trying to keep afloat.
What the hell do I do? I've been helping my father on his business but he's emotionally abusive (always has been). I'm trapped because I need the little money he gives me, but at what cost?
I just don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. I just want to sleep, forever. I realize I'm suicidal but getting admitted in a hospital without health insurance is impossible. I can't pay. 
Any help would be appreciated. ",2.959098232848234,4.940938043918923,4.516891891891891,82.95596673596677,75.6554054054054,7.7970893970893975,27.938669438669443,8.617729084823388,2.21465634095634,1175,49,229,24,26,393,172,296,0.11,0.8320000000000001,0.058,-0.9654,9,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,5,0,2,6,7,4,1,1,15,0,26,5,1,1,0,47,46,20,1,6,11,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,8,17,2,2,8,0,9,3,8,2,0,4,11,1,35,2,37,29,3,41,1,0,0,0,21,15,1,1,22,151,43,15,0.0,0.12511470293110682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444556233911425,0.08786482981591473,0.0,0.0,0.07180930861111334,0.11072724154236592,0.0,0.0,0.10472345189001732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931121205316283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766277066890108,0.0,0.0,0.09096212016726367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431029209741916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878196134086445,0.18705448856344425,0.0,0.11776812146161655,0.0,0.0,0.08896968928573985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882553185669878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567591305311795,0.09651337875068343,0.08982041345234043,0.1276878270727444,0.2315624415480268,0.0,0.0,0.055169864814877456,0.10129788015081903,0.06001298087802826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22448849435210108,0.0,0.0,0.14155834931014594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184429796453773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191533240791572,0.09385910936173933,0.0,0.0,0.11606625881236746,0.1721506445006919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583553375808956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048655002874317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729401681456104,0.0,0.10641653554686792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428619814078635,0.0,0.0,0.07829854039902659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990952551683286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172525270491688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032597121708336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231498153765472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735059817704158,0.0,0.10567285993856224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474181651372222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155055406535076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229608217940248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383190461928539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169315940726476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270197072365386,0.0,0.11629973559495672,0.0,0.062283610202744887,0.08381766543690501,0.16940644499955124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952845064016491,0.0,0.0,0.2035827070756279,0.0,0.2306267459011554,0.0,0.0,0.1500255889096807,0.0,0.0,0.06800074785277857
mentalhealth,12starlight79,2018/04/06,"I have a chronic mental illness and am homeless I'm trying to find out what my options are and where I can go from here. I am 20 and live in the US. I started having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts around 6 or 7. I started having bipolar symptoms around 10-11. Psychotic episodes started around 15. Abusive parents never really took me to a doctor during my time with them, but I left home pretty young. Got evaluated last year and diagnosed as bipolar 1 + PTSD. The main reason I am homeless is because my illness prevents me from gaining employment and supporting myself. I am not on disability benefits and do not know how to start that process (I don't understand the paperwork...) The secondary one is I haven't been able to access any programs to help me (live in a somewhat rural area.) I'm moving to a better area to try and start the process of recovery and getting myself out of the streets. I had a few people recommend committing myself to a psych hospital, and Im thinking about trying it. Ive also heard emergency shelters have mental health services. If anyone has any kind of information or advice they could provide, it would help me immensely. 
",5.871369863013701,7.1419002465753465,6.645552511415527,73.42147945205483,67.08219178082193,9.127671232876713,36.51780821917808,9.3871,3.7296816438356166,930,48,152,18,15,307,139,219,0.093,0.779,0.128,0.8727,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,2,2,8,6,1,1,12,0,21,9,0,2,2,37,38,17,1,3,6,1,0,0,0,1,9,1,1,0,4,16,0,1,7,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,6,1,25,4,24,30,3,26,0,0,0,0,8,13,0,5,10,110,29,5,0.11812878241050402,0.13996329059499968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543407900039447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446754461492647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066324569539311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259839129242227,0.0,0.0,0.31547898330476565,0.0,0.13438854361668098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201020932572551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447530840841177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431622052827897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989822755532653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090981434225233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079675670398658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171741322379552,0.0,0.06713530932274836,0.0,0.09447837856332264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556537175146498,0.0,0.0,0.1583584656037928,0.0,0.11849280038992675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275993560041804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301294873374258,0.06492048947826293,0.09629072410312307,0.0,0.0,0.12834726772916513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861975817619044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23809205696729102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255522009491013,0.0,0.0,0.09110819940341723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004712015827553,0.0,0.0,0.13859867389070027,0.13116803326798013,0.0,0.0,0.08189562392262023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017943977535098,0.0,0.0,0.13808622514588778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756763228725171,0.12145606263892605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180608009783053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921371487986807,0.1340511423900346,0.0,0.12278103562746677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569215393747471,0.0,0.09378105812090054,0.06888184299006876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124542377966095,0.24060506723941105,0.0,0.0,0.12297622852460068,0.14209438042648567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391529774407881,0.0,0.0,0.07607106286809892
mentalhealth,Shmay_money,2018/04/06,"30 year old getting a ton of random (nonsense) tattoos My brother had 1 tattoo until he turned 30. In the past 4 months has gotten 5 ridiculous tattoos
E.g some hybrid Pokémon huge on his bicep

Just saw a snap of him getting another tattoo on his forearm. 

Has never talked about any of this and seems to be going in on a whim to get a new tattoo every paycheck. 

What is wrong with him?",2.6041558441558443,4.64703876623377,4.024675324675325,85.79987012987014,76.92207792207795,4.919480519480519,25.285714285714285,5.288315135182226,0.7326415584415584,303,11,55,1,7,100,60,77,0.075,0.895,0.031,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,5,0,5,2,2,0,1,7,13,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,1,5,0,13,9,2,14,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,3,7,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851049089061394,0.2854247778672488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933971304237946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266388159880482,0.0,0.1546971774755969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21726694394716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20993693832310656,0.2628918522610359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856274548779257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25984510314657355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478000876277771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878354664990174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296074755648868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29760728565407546,0.0,0.17528747289581764
mentalhealth,bIemting,2018/04/06,"no future in front of me is driving me insane Hey guys, first post in here but needed to vent somewhere and it seems here is my best bet to.

I’m currently 19, fuck all qualifications, college pushed me away and I’m stuck in a dead end job and it’s causing me to become so depressed that I’m just breaking down multiple times a day out of anger with myself for not trying harder.

I get that I’m still young but I’m constantly seeing people I know celebrating online all the unis that are giving them offers and I wish I could be happy for them but instead it’s making me feel worse that I can’t be one of them.

My aspirations are to work within fashion and business and my (old) college had the course available, made my portfolio ect for my interview last year only for the tutor to not even look at it, and tells me she’s going to be setting me up to fail due to me not having any GCSES apart from my English. This caused me to just breakdown more because I’ve never felt more humiliated.
Since then ive been in limbo the past 9/10 months, doing nothing but mope around, or work part time in a dead end corner shop which is giving me nothing more than bad anxiety and panic attacks due to the people I work with being arseholes, and me having to work long hours alone dealing with a lot of drunk customers.

Idk what to do, I’ve tried to apply for similar courses in other colleges but most only accept you if you have more than 4 GCSES above a C grade which I don’t have. Doesn’t help that even if I do manage to get in this year I’m still going to need to find the funds for my education since I’m 19, (kinda hard when I only have £15 to my name currently lol)

I want to actually get somewhere in life and go to uni and be able to do shit but I just don’t know how when I have so many things stopping me from getting there and it’s driving me fucking insane. I’ve recently ended up binge drinking excessively just to make me feel “normal” for a bit and not have to worry so bloody hard about my future. 
I don’t wanna be working in a shit corner shop my whole life but I’ve been applying for hundreds of other jobs the last few months but not getting anywhere with that either

sorry for the long post it just feels good to actually get stuff off my chest as I have 0 ppl Apart from my bf to talk to about shit ",5.738019230769229,4.988984224999999,6.556666666666668,80.93653846153849,67.16666666666666,8.967948717948717,29.086538461538463,8.012643519586192,1.760206730769231,1828,51,381,19,26,608,237,480,0.16899999999999998,0.735,0.096,-0.9907,4,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,3,8,23,15,7,1,15,1,33,10,4,6,3,72,70,32,2,9,22,0,6,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,21,19,2,1,9,4,5,7,12,11,0,2,6,8,48,4,70,57,14,67,0,2,2,2,18,22,5,8,34,252,69,15,0.08062240927368798,0.0,0.15735168305752945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083500501561084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054826002966324006,0.0,0.06167592242113304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177103719694918,0.0,0.09171962957772344,0.07574740744005355,0.0,0.06731634414324435,0.04914667238309185,0.08904111686178702,0.0,0.0,0.08460824452535902,0.0,0.08801878990593648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564284557762896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712418278923642,0.0,0.06437043349988998,0.0,0.0,0.05199478425602128,0.08311816384306088,0.0694399629702539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897926781644099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422257385283744,0.0,0.0,0.10650068191443976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229533768338867,0.0,0.07741015618485357,0.0,0.07368742147805624,0.06857738014222213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906823648265854,0.2527312876696365,0.15468072273771002,0.1374587194031631,0.06762225179446983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982886061808063,0.0,0.08582405383944962,0.1444436857083722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403950148870306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939683298695598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001060192460853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886159353573301,0.13143604817535912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389198391581976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269659033589865,0.06770251851726089,0.0,0.0,0.06854228927985058,0.0,0.07628687302306744,0.1076321684669094,0.08173846881601289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287040757992136,0.0,0.0,0.1195609898272022,0.062180972245743975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899284332990877,0.15471875219301207,0.0,0.08459965638372836,0.0,0.054631831048202836,0.1839509257126224,0.0,0.09459302621418406,0.0,0.08730621264697441,0.07696321226749649,0.11178685456469103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442796398370812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960490279784052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642456219726127,0.07339561343683658,0.0,0.0,0.2482732336328644,0.13338338016036794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025018652802773,0.0,0.0,0.12877032038035774,0.06740394418531838,0.0,0.0,0.09229336987595033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480123865160531,0.07046753928173699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356194630310702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402315039145666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947464740579672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755318584421776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001204076185093,0.09271179182751674,0.0,0.0,0.29347037079752497,0.08187597012230644,0.0821611228150067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383637652547192
mentalhealth,Lanky_midget,2018/04/07,"A feel differently at night. I'm fine during the day but at night I feel scared, vulnerable, something is missing, empty, Sad and Don't have a desire for anything. It happens every once in a while and then goes away for a bit.

I have a fear of the dark but I have learnt how to control that.

I want to understand why I feel this way and how to control this, I like knowing exactly everything is fine and safe, at night I'll start to worry about my online accounts and I go down everything to make sure it's all secure. Is there something else mentally that is happening to me? I don't like not knowing what is going on because I become paranoid. I'm just so confused.",4.386666666666667,5.092797888888889,5.5562962962962965,81.94333333333336,70.1111111111111,8.37037037037037,30.555555555555557,8.515128840125781,2.253888888888889,525,21,105,8,9,175,83,135,0.21600000000000005,0.636,0.14800000000000002,-0.9062,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,6,12,0,3,7,0,10,0,0,5,3,27,26,12,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,4,6,0,1,2,3,5,0,0,0,3,11,7,17,26,2,17,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,1,9,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286171067669292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027287188848947,0.0,0.0,0.0910122882343514,0.16489083389746498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299763724621766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349067402649687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628656553805567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598739837512285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472153215462507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579223380339158,0.0,0.26836358789106346,0.0,0.0,0.16800473515339095,0.2264726782761215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970199586967394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640521369245493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410346132961515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458815086438923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099659340752933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504599355974611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203256279868489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900031567814696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947599266837847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22987786340386726,0.0,0.0,0.10567576590706708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071409225011822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542723818268336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806138944219916,0.11850790367077912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472061106813532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516220535574275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Asmeralda371,2018/04/07,"Comparably mentally healthy now, yet trauma remains an obstacle for engaging in relationships.  For better context, I'm 17 years old (which is the age of consent in NY), gay, and considering yet unsure of the prospects of dating, kissing, and sex. My mental health has vastly improved over the years, yet I feel rather afraid if that is a boundary I am willing to cross.  Since the beginning of my adolescence, I haven't really given much thought about interacting with another person in such a deeply intimate way until recently because to put it simply, I early on in life that I REALLY need to focus on myself first. To make a long story short, I was molested at the age of 7 which led to major implications going forward like: depression so ""edgy"" I was indefinitely incapable of functioning in a public school where I was a top student so I was; had a fucking dissociation in a middle of a therapy session; had my first of 7 psych ward admissions when I was 13, with 15+ ERs; Borderline Personality Disorder (no one is shocked, lol); PTSD (again, no one is shocked); Lithium overdose; threatened to be sent to a residential; and me jumping into traffic (I was thankfully left unscathed) which in hindsight led to me having a hell of a turn (no pun intended) for the better. Fast forward to today, I have been in remission for depression for almost a year; haven't self-harmed in over two years; haven't made a suicide attempt (which also meant I haven't been hospitalized either); and while I am still working through my trauma, my life mostly consists of ordinary happiness and unhappiness like anybody else would. There is a guy who likes me and I like him back, which in itself isn't something I am worried about. What I am worried is the prospect of dating anyone for that matter which could potentially lead to sex, and the idea of me doing it makes me feel unreasonably anxious, vulnerable and tainted. I will never shame anyone for what they do the bedroom, and I know it is absurd to view myself as tainted, yet I feel it deeply. I wish to optimistic about this in the long term, but for now, it just pains me for how obvious my past affect this aspect of my life which involves someone else's.",12.333113284433573,8.243622278728608,11.719794621026894,59.60236511817442,57.26405867970662,14.818647106764464,46.58207008964954,12.45797560212912,5.707067351263242,1748,79,297,40,15,578,227,409,0.086,0.8109999999999999,0.103,0.1995,0,0,1,0,0,1,59.0,0,0,1,8,22,22,3,2,25,1,36,10,0,9,2,43,55,19,1,6,5,0,3,4,0,3,5,0,1,3,21,12,0,0,7,0,0,10,9,12,1,5,15,4,38,10,59,35,5,67,1,2,1,5,11,25,2,4,39,222,59,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572692632899562,0.0,0.0,0.08443532845245798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071382260111763,0.0,0.1192796432225862,0.0,0.14765329885198153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118742657292215,0.0,0.06436290581206842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676058569309428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430007460404969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18187834819862936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100818464345232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640343699819525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601590284529424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961905638399914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761052375547324,0.0,0.0,0.060005707955364265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454456401434647,0.0,0.11239592073742907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223064439016577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919126095028035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802609642005396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471710999647695,0.0,0.2237308858792269,0.20633164999416848,0.0,0.0,0.1868766847916339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990594652691354,0.1409560156460903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280727803290536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761624322613694,0.07828905146478778,0.08143273727180228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079243927474032,0.0,0.14309263376724687,0.0,0.11234860972507403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079168623166657,0.0,0.1843834070031004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342181457641956,0.10614088362707297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527937460132985,0.0,0.10425126692237598,0.11335748990035675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685644465062416,0.0,0.0,0.11014693263948397,0.0,0.0,0.0873400122315361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946081294994597,0.08128356927168341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431936080460059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549154263421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720737941095256,0.12074427950598145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382174510129191,0.0,0.0,0.10008109887134906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484485761367155,0.10314003279785122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380750764454607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141616178098515,0.0,0.0,0.07686626547994824,0.21445095253556665,0.0,0.07500370371738824,0.0,0.0,0.27197002759741984
mentalhealth,Almostdone47,2018/04/07,"Attention: I'm doing a study related to mental health. Please help me help you!! **Attention: Especially for people who have NEVER fasted before**: I am a graduate student and I'm doing a cross-sectional study on **anxiety and stress** in relation to certain lifestyle choices. This can help open the door to more studies done in academic research on certain lifestyle changes and **mental health**, which will help us all out in the long run! You guys can help me do this by filling out this short **5 minute survey**. **It is completely anonymous and confidential.** If you have any questions, feel free to message me and let me know. Thank you so much for your time and help! 

https://nyu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bInSNbKZeGp4pFz
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mentalhealth,bintthrow,2018/04/07,"PLEASE HELPhow do i baker act someone my friend is 18 he is trying to kill himself he keeps hitting himself and hurting himself i need to get him immediate help, do i call 911 and what do i do from there i only have his school name i don’t have his address please help yes we live in florida ",0.7633723653395776,3.0702553606557395,2.510210772833726,92.58672131147543,85.55737704918033,4.797189695550352,25.107728337236534,6.18269132825596,0.7159629976580791,231,10,49,2,7,76,42,61,0.106,0.657,0.238,0.8038,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,13,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,14,1,4,12,0,2,0,1,0,0,14,1,0,0,0,31,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568840129181261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19436456404620311,0.0,0.13143643367171734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372479641234032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693139448836593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360951297426365,0.2783280909058415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221434403667013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653808462792765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19133249285607032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5523028986872109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546051605216192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315686401496325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708014551561439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Claudine1975,2018/04/07,Trintellix Anyone on Trintillix?  How do you like it?  Do feel it helps with depression symptoms?,3.9035416666666687,6.948363937500003,4.190000000000001,74.52166666666669,97.125,9.633333333333333,30.33333333333333,8.841846274778883,4.639233333333333,77,4,11,3,3,24,14,16,0.166,0.5820000000000001,0.252,0.2359,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875802399239133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774187531187949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802713074316986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715363648876027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708035344635428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5761311146863206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shatrocious,2018/04/07,"Resources for parenting after a crisis? I have a teenager who we've had a mental health crisis with this week.  We have counselling lined up.

I don't know how to parent now.  She has two younger siblings here, and I am questioning every decision I make for them, and second guessing every word I say to them.

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mentalhealth,anxiousforhelp,2018/04/07,"Small confrontations with big after shocks. Hey everyone. I'm looking to see if anyone has any ideas on how to deal with strong long-lasting anxiety produced by confrontations, even tiny ones, or maybe other people who feel the same way.  
  
I don't like confrontations, but having to have one isn't as much the problem for me as the way they leave me feeling, sometimes for the entire day afterwards. No matter how small it may be, whenever I get into any kind of confrontation I'm left with my mind reeling, my heart thumping, nervous fidgety ticks firing off, swarmed by feelings of angry self-loathing, depression and catastrophic thinking, for hours and hours and hours.  
  
I can't seem to just let things go and move on. I'll dwell on it, and even come back to it many times in future. I should also mention I have an anger problem, not only can these situations make my depression go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, I do so with anger as well. Yeah, as you can see I'm a real winner. Whenever I feel these rages I also feel my heart thumping, my face flush, hands shaking, kind of  dizzy even. I try really hard to not have it effect how I behave in the situation (I don't start screaming or swearing or anything) but I think it's at least obvious that I was annoyed. Then I'm left super low afterwards, filled with anxiety and self-loathing for the rest of the day for being such a shitty person.  
  
I hate it, and I hate myself for reacting like this to situations that other people can just shrug off. I can be a mess for a whole day over a mean landlord refusing to help with something, yet my friends can get into freaking fist fights or screaming matches with people and just laugh them off five minutes later and forget about by the next day. I know this might make you think I'm some soft pampered kid who's never hard any real problems, but my background is anything but soft or privileged and since I was quite young I live with constant serious problems that I have to deal with on my own. You can imagine how I react whenever the big problems come up. This means I end up feeling like this quite often. Instead of a hard life making me strong it's just made me a pathetic mess.  
  
How do I calm myself down and move on from things? Or how do I just avoid being set off to the max at the drop off a hat? Breathing exercises don't help, believe me I've tried. I'm also living in a country foreign to me, so finding an English speaking therapist is out of the question - not to mention my price range - and I have very few people I'm close to here that I can turn to. I feel very alone in this so I'm hoping maybe someone on Reddit can help me out in any way possible.  
  
I'm sorry for the wall of text and hope I haven't broken any sub rules. Thanks for reading.",5.587522961007533,5.733160326678767,5.998406203596767,81.79610570312933,67.33030852994554,8.7114557553759,31.034537755045925,8.391295532112219,2.2017787053841493,2184,79,431,28,33,704,258,551,0.239,0.642,0.119,-0.9972,0,2,1,0,1,0,55.0,0,3,2,7,28,46,11,4,25,1,36,7,5,14,2,103,79,41,0,9,19,0,14,3,1,3,2,4,1,2,24,29,0,2,19,2,1,8,11,30,1,4,3,21,51,16,79,68,8,71,0,3,3,0,22,36,0,15,25,284,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730519413050494,0.0,0.15590621345778252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209612340081956,0.0,0.09942718556476253,0.0,0.0,0.045439247509460115,0.0,0.10695476434328692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996970063501728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321620325964971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195819989861193,0.0,0.0702260456699349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676406240776982,0.13399402515291198,0.11194352370947216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755770584505247,0.0,0.0,0.12876657512120698,0.0,0.0,0.0620962592127008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300097166326727,0.046425526391153486,0.0,0.0,0.059395406193204776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020749789246255,0.0,0.06790429622754532,0.0,0.0738653111569836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464224991060207,0.1283191013022501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540158368331513,0.13067487274021303,0.0,0.0,0.12909017384636806,0.19199235301449524,0.0,0.0,0.07336051750139078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534442346684925,0.0357142329733088,0.05297171018618072,0.0,0.06881007192399677,0.14121348307769074,0.06645189373304204,0.04590105414968647,0.09524563608821623,0.0,0.11476645826637667,0.0575099642203521,0.05457130276750392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149068212088087,0.13013461939602455,0.0658849157638587,0.130572979367084,0.14157613159370566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893915616072073,0.06561664909621584,0.0,0.0,0.13813822388105212,0.047771688328378484,0.0,0.0501206858639258,0.0,0.06911262625104947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880714708453424,0.049424265060719605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802105569919496,0.05674267579927465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732611853362655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31091087925150857,0.0,0.0,0.07279843224121603,0.13823977641988955,0.06500290706849346,0.14793504505860186,0.04163126075223686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356977450580948,0.05916019566756784,0.13558772539530498,0.0,0.0,0.053756529168325885,0.21913867114348615,0.0,0.0,0.055061851697674496,0.0500288750919269,0.0642721442557463,0.0727457465646429,0.04599694476470784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982975263191679,0.0,0.07545296656081693,0.08634671951763301,0.12491990933985435,0.0,0.0,0.03789346334182965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824153458079027,0.07068536837131822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723939147096856,0.0,0.15474696925650408,0.0,0.0,0.05842960810811635,0.0,0.0,0.07255379026828268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MonkeyHugger123,2018/04/07,"Never had anxiety, now I do So me growing up I never really experienced anxiety as far as I remember. After doing a stressful internship in a hospital as a male nurse and living in a not very supportive student house is started developing anxiety attacks and a general anxious feeling. Especially when I wanted to celebrate finishing my internship with a party and MDMA, which didn't really help.

So now one year and a month have passed and I changed a lot about my lifestyle. Made new friends and moved into a new house with them. Started exercising weekly, new hobby, etc. I feel a lot better then I used to.

Now the thing is that sometimes I feel completely 'normal', life is in control, I have an overview of my day, week, year, all emotions are there and are relative and my self image is coherent with my real life situation. However, almost on a daily basis I still feel like I'm pulled from reality, emotions are gone, overview is gone and life is not in control. Instead of working on things/feelings/thoughts I feel like I'm being lived and lost trust in myself. 

I was wondering if someone can relate to what I'm sharing and what their personal story is. Thanks in advance! 

",5.1247963800904985,6.959178040723982,6.619366515837103,70.75945701357467,69.49773755656109,9.724886877828057,34.71945701357466,10.056822442137396,4.0554778280543005,941,48,152,25,17,321,133,221,0.068,0.775,0.157,0.9489,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,6,10,11,1,1,13,0,19,4,0,4,3,39,38,19,0,3,3,0,5,2,1,0,4,0,0,3,5,15,0,2,7,1,0,7,5,3,0,1,7,6,21,8,24,30,4,39,0,1,0,0,8,11,0,5,23,113,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056665194882453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421755134698139,0.11921149306762492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200481890732958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332694022697276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162984686575377,0.0,0.11063935807880694,0.0,0.23670710483837676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805391299473883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23739941734791745,0.0,0.0,0.11768657084604035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667792032558127,0.15077198626004507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815271766507753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073016236557172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435198494571077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360305774250253,0.10310688143579994,0.0,0.1863583271308844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519134059250695,0.17942457336270182,0.0,0.09984886548983618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422783267432862,0.11215475629453353,0.0,0.0,0.16277242172228384,0.30574569524582695,0.0,0.0,0.1033906028095136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715054390569399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213902997981564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010881897725148,0.13520208303595402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953752899006136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008400043810336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118612809528948,0.0,0.0,0.08940969971636492,0.0,0.1043654170874146,0.0,0.14938012044576565,0.0,0.08427118512809939,0.0,0.1208767864997664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974679131155255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715184019410668,0.0,0.0,0.07010510930465869,0.0,0.0,0.08377385373639977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113840348344524,0.0,0.08706791992603799,0.06224048081688645,0.0,0.16928913651487112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443570959267245,0.07682234811264041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590731906797118
mentalhealth,borderlinesweet,2018/04/07,"Why do people hate us if it isn’t our fault? I was in therapy the other day and my therapist reminded me my mental illness wasn’t my fault. I’ve heard this numerous times and it hurts a little more each time. I grew up with narcissist parents who refused to believe anything was wrong with them and abused and neglected. Now I have bpd and people hate me, I work hard to change and spend hours doing research and looking up better ways to overcome my disorder. I care about the people I affect and I want to be a safe and healthy person to be around. 

I know people with anxiety and depression who take meds and treat me like shit. They act like taking medication is the worst thing to happen for them. I want to have children one day and I don’t know if I’ll ever be healthy enough to actually be a mother. I want to be loved one day but no one will stay. I see people with other mental illnesses getting better with medication and minor changes to their lifestyle yet I’m still struggling. I know everyone’s emotions are valid and everyone deserves to feel as they do but as I struggle with life no one is here for me. I’m all alone and I can’t fit in anywhere, I’m terrified of hurting others and I spend hours doing anything to help myself. 

When I hear it’s not your fault from a professional it makes me so mad at the people who downplayed my abuse and told me I just needed to learn more about love languages. When I hear it’s not my fault all I feel is resentment and hurt by my friends who abandoned me because I was “crazy.” When I hear it’s not my fault all I feel is pain.  

Why am I still hated if I’m doing my best to fix something that isn’t even my fault? ",2.6454990925589854,4.384494830409359,3.914573502722324,88.0018421052632,75.84210526315789,6.8225045372050825,24.95099818511797,7.6298220110432995,1.201982335148215,1320,45,274,18,29,432,168,342,0.276,0.606,0.118,-0.9965,1,1,1,0,2,0,19.0,2,1,5,4,15,34,6,2,8,0,27,9,1,2,4,56,59,29,0,7,9,2,4,2,1,1,6,4,0,2,16,26,0,4,7,0,2,2,10,23,0,4,6,10,50,11,35,47,9,27,0,6,2,2,26,8,1,3,17,189,66,4,0.0,0.19171990376017814,0.07895223243481345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379384166185119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189259203340702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315689381987905,0.07202317129063622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931932631402281,0.0,0.0,0.09115294922298403,0.08490547616481986,0.1431089251204789,0.0,0.0,0.10189781950297437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248869056805283,0.0,0.1711748757375914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653233110236894,0.0,0.06968390792093257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272487110081512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100795375446558,0.0,0.08359715205059502,0.0,0.05343741121536498,0.07318378199320592,0.0,0.15461760951682682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272496536236925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250749563965594,0.0,0.04226985687922928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154458896453482,0.0,0.07247556064347316,0.2396327043317701,0.0,0.0,0.27355960402645224,0.0,0.054229344094624515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159351513521018,0.0,0.25983347815673075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339086922640087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057146045163662174,0.07905281657641576,0.0810887044893554,0.0,0.0,0.06794035976650796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604099509586502,0.0,0.0540051419669629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986792554554893,0.16300783824514462,0.1630677088748822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599905058246019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192950181120174,0.0,0.08608930367650927,0.0,0.08983613706009648,0.0,0.0,0.3365386967556499,0.07064368289577809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447131902677362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304847531440364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062285113238733675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623464584419463,0.12922269489368407,0.0,0.0,0.169160279795553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166194269985807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092522648664978,0.09393768214463084,0.05375011124142593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435345691530553,0.0,0.0,0.07730880475841341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731952151316896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316072540829072,0.06421913002428963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600950942767538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058900268437461385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845761496182812,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meerkat142,2018/04/07,"Back on meds after almost a year being off them But I hope it will give me the incentive to come off for good.

I've been struggling a lot lately with depression and anxiety and particularly low self confidence and self esteem. To be fair, I've suffered with that my whole life pretty much. But recently it's got to the point where I've had to take time off work to try and deal with it.

It's hard but I'll do my best to learn to cope with it",2.7714133738601845,3.8263985425531963,4.2088449848024325,88.80500000000002,74.21276595744679,7.924620060790273,21.939209726443767,8.418075326091056,0.9262145896656536,349,8,80,6,7,116,63,94,0.106,0.7190000000000001,0.175,0.8353,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,2,2,7,0,1,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,16,11,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,3,1,5,3,17,5,4,14,0,3,0,0,5,7,0,3,6,51,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617397850213486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986940109084013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064147827015886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055937947353356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875775242661728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20197297334075304,0.16873563059279306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879332028365068,0.0,0.16431868351560522,0.15668585588331066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549545931922522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458125995597086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209932250551017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837590706760872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655432850480595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176100844430287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440152263831096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519677517402788,0.0,0.0,0.19930928818975086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343592503967186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087504053311013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048060114176068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472987468204128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423577211885608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300895387756606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21872474882224974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426236592264131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261585960162569
mentalhealth,babybokchoyy,2018/04/07,"not feeling like myself recently Hi reddit, I really just need to get these feelings sorted out in writing or something because I feel like I'm going crazy. Any advice would be appreciated. :)

I'm in currently in high school and I'm a female. I've always been very diligent and self-motivated, and was very smart when I was younger. I take challenging courses and maintain a high GPA. However, I go to an extremely competitive school in a very wealthy county. I feel like I don't do enough and it absolutely wrecks me mentally. I grew up playing soccer but was too afraid to try out. I run pretty regularly and want to try out for cross country in the fall but I have a feeling I'll be too anxious when the time comes around. I'm involved in clubs, but I feel like it's not enough. I constantly compare myself to my peers. Everyone seems to do everything at once. Perfect GPA, perfect SAT, plays sports, in clubs, does internships, tons of friends, perfect instagram feed, beautiful, talented, and just look so happy. I'm so jealous of everyone. I don't feel talented and I don't feel attractive. In fact I feel so unattractive that I often spend up to an hour at a time looking at myself, touching my face and being displeased. If i catch an unflattering glimpse of myself then my mood is ruined for hours. I have good friends and I love spending time with them. It's probably the only time I'm really happy. When I'm alone I feel absolutely horrible and useless. 

I think I'm getting worse. I've realized I've lost interest in all my hobbies. I have no current obsession. No show I love to watch, nothing I want to learn about, no significant other to obsess over. I don't want to draw anymore. I don't want to watch netflix or play video games anymore. I'm developing bad habits too. I can't stop bouncing my leg when I sit, and I subconsciously wring my hands nervously and pick at my fingernails. I always feel like I'm on the verge of tears. I go to bed early so I don't have to be awake and bored. I feel like my brain is in slow-motion and I have tunnel vision. In class, I feel too drained to do my work, so I just sit. In school, I feel so bored, miserable and confined that I want to cry. I know I shouldn't feel like this because i have a good family, a nice house, and good friends. What's wrong with me? I can't stop thinking of my ex recently and I just want someone to care deeply about me again. 

I was sick with a stomach bug for a week and the weather has been disgusting recently and this has just exacerbated how absolutely shitty and trapped I feel. Please help :(",2.872175614736662,4.9401002152641915,4.30638347655918,83.97376393261298,76.20156555772994,7.731149493746277,27.74274653280013,8.587818076936951,2.1449375138262563,2034,85,404,42,46,674,236,511,0.21,0.568,0.222,0.8524,3,2,1,0,0,0,66.0,0,0,1,6,25,46,2,5,17,0,33,9,5,2,5,86,84,39,0,10,13,1,18,7,3,2,1,0,1,0,10,29,1,3,22,11,2,9,14,14,0,0,8,22,63,31,54,70,4,60,0,4,4,2,12,27,0,6,29,236,73,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379460704214751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761436347529931,0.0,0.0,0.10864275937475984,0.0,0.0,0.044395245814793455,0.0,0.0,0.07375215014324478,0.1294880421258225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058116453258472485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450927450298025,0.07959283855752416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728783494316664,0.0,0.0,0.06656121972754771,0.0,0.0,0.0562362423864847,0.0,0.0705486320736703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717112261833529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057130323094930074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491130403255272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247630021755189,0.05867290049540085,0.0,0.06154378860596374,0.0,0.5281514886812224,0.3264714885005566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131438467158395,0.0,0.06821621757395263,0.0,0.11130692202819373,0.16427094782794988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899171053431622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043758377822535714,0.1379519099564171,0.0,0.0,0.12858285217461832,0.07532877928906052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03587828786016911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232606858341587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964395685385228,0.0,0.07126501671915919,0.0,0.11784241811653053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579074977517264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048407135720790896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264159946135342,0.0,0.0,0.0695251526023579,0.0,0.049651297577944606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166204539160187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641712916501674,0.07038701481908258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364499152854869,0.0,0.1933797305966453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821217611138545,0.0,0.059431950606673764,0.06810527676282363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055314780715003016,0.05025868491170067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916041692230856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908531851311655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836624895945752,0.0,0.0,0.15227011447374472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864687591859392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615980004395,0.23103658052118103,0.0,0.05236675379437804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752740869662655,0.0,0.06652980422505203,0.04637576260637919,0.0713776240779529,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pearlday,2018/04/07,"Feeling content on the surface, but bad on the inside I've been wondering for a while, as this is something that I find infrequently happens. I feel like it's a chemical vs reality situation where everything is fine, there's nothing to be sad about, I'm listening to good music, playing a game, everything is good and I feel content. That being said, on the inside it feels murky. 

I guess a better description is when I hang out with friends and I'm super happy, everything is going great. But even a second outside of that bubble I realize on the inside there's some dissatisfaction or murkiness. 

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, and it doesn't really happen that often, but I'm curious if anyone else experiences this and if there's a term for it? When you're feeling opposite feelings at the same time, if that's even possible? :/",4.3094729344729314,6.179105759259263,5.950246913580247,74.59764957264959,71.65432098765432,9.42905982905983,30.362773029439694,9.851270322608157,3.278322317188984,671,29,119,18,13,229,97,162,0.079,0.655,0.266,0.9877,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,10,13,0,0,11,0,9,0,0,1,1,31,27,16,0,4,10,0,6,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,0,9,2,0,2,2,2,0,1,2,8,6,11,15,23,3,15,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,9,6,79,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301773876897506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059246557614432,0.1552184187876042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648701675536606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339797410769535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654965032580104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011415814715705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40844573051372746,0.14818534496807728,0.0,0.0,0.4595844478347039,0.10822379707108752,0.0,0.0,0.1384582337882351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704005287048973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609470981431246,0.2541236308841073,0.0,0.167017196196566,0.16688225138286605,0.0,0.2679225071910976,0.16126289497991605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400989062978043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112010737927613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535781503050335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707811256294155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704775509712144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410076318878876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702800227935206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662366044114887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277662294982174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833447471278037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642833966686987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,luckyzoe33,2018/04/07,"Can you be section in the uk for this? (Info in text) I'm in a mental heal unit atm i came in voluntary after self harming. But i wasn't eating or drinking before either or taking my meds and the intrusive thoughts ive been having, have been making me not eat or drink for the last 2 days and its been really difficult for me to take my meds because ive been suicidal. And this. even ive refused my phsyicsl medication. In which they then threatened to have me injected and sectioned, i think because my physical meds are high risk., but with everything else going on ive been too confused and low to care. Also ive been refusing to eat or drink. Could they section me because of that?. I just want to get away from here, its all doing my head in. I was doing fine not eating and stuff at home 🙁

Thamks",2.5957230499561774,4.383761705521477,4.297953549517967,84.98559815950922,76.11656441717791,7.3565293602103425,25.13978965819457,8.192908349453996,1.5802746713409292,630,22,127,11,14,212,100,163,0.122,0.83,0.048,-0.8781,0,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,2,0,5,7,0,2,4,0,22,10,1,1,1,28,33,14,1,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,7,8,7,2,3,3,1,2,3,5,0,0,10,0,22,2,21,21,5,20,0,1,0,0,6,14,0,5,4,96,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156581773374124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932533726919944,0.0,0.0,0.23226312778080505,0.0,0.10807186352476518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525983559554795,0.12949001746894975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014031231843506,0.0,0.0,0.08190769000904853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37324951788995214,0.0,0.5198311088071185,0.10609634413782304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388557587860376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414386547004644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635484777377779,0.0,0.07217984354274419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034372617961149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418770947445774,0.12739632660318242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352599057774688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477679459520376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232216259703237,0.12794413195664436,0.12799112414937533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136262720662868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324938682590846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539028938877385,0.13892280854428668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098384247612704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137964781475995,0.0,0.1008277487766923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491081385956139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlyIxia,2018/04/07,"I just wanted to get this off my chest. Using a throwaway to post this- I'm scared that someone will identify me. I posted this on /r/relationships originally, where some helpful people gave me some great advice. I was told to post this here, so here it is. I added more than in the original post, but just wanted to talk about this. I'm just hoping someone could give me insight on what is wrong with me.

 My brain is scattered, so if this post is unclear, sorry to everyone on this subreddit. I just want somewhere to talk about my issues. I grew up as a young kid with my father's love (or so I believed as a small child) The past few years though, he would guilt trip, punish, and otherwise just yell at me for anything that I would do that otherwise didn't fall perfectly in line with what he wanted from me. It wasn't until the past couple years that I started to feel physically unsafe. His emotionally and verbally abusive behaviour also increased. He became a severe alcoholic until the point where he started to insult me- yelling horrible things and even threatened to attack me. The rest of my family and I were forced to move out of the house we grew up in.


Because of this, my life has been blown in all directions. I don't know if I'm mentally unhealthy or not, though I strongly believe I am. Even though I am now away from my dad, I have become extremely flighty. If anyone touches me where I can't see them, I will freak out. Sometimes when someone yells at me, I start shaking and flashback to my dad yelling at me. I have lost interest in things I used to enjoy. For one, writing. I used to sit in my room and writer stories for hours on end. I was starting to get into screen writing and was hoping to continue to study that and then possibly go to university and get a career in that field because I loved it. But every time I try to write, I am reminded of my father. I have lost my spark for many other things to. I just feel empty.


Sometimes I feel as if I am going insane. I have long gaps in memory during the day- sometimes I'm on the laptop at 3:00 and then all of the sudden it is 8:00. My mother frequently calls me a liar for things I have no recollection of doing. Sometimes my friends say I did things that I don't remember doing and it scares me. One time, I heard a dog barking. It continued to do so for a few minutes- during this time I asked my mother if she had heard the dog (she was sitting with me at the time) and she said no. Sometimes I hear voices, although they just come and go as a few short words. They are always different people though. Sometimes, they are sentences.


I have told my mother about these symptoms so I could go get evaluated. She just told me what I was experiencing was normal teenager problems and all of them would go away if I stopped overthinking things and just hung out with my friends more often. I don't know who could help me anymore. I just want to go back to the person I was before or at least be close to it. I have no idea what to do or what is wrong with me.


**TL;DR: I'm having mental health problems and basically don't know who I am. My mother thinks I'm fine and refuses to get me evaluated.**",2.953493398761537,4.790482391167195,4.157658604977218,86.1657822175488,75.24605678233439,6.967589671690616,24.98995209720761,7.793537801064563,1.326348381820306,2492,84,500,36,54,815,271,634,0.157,0.76,0.083,-0.9946,1,0,1,0,2,0,77.0,1,0,5,4,34,27,4,4,21,0,54,8,2,5,4,99,108,49,0,22,23,8,4,0,2,5,4,10,1,3,38,30,1,2,11,0,0,14,11,15,0,2,22,17,91,12,84,77,13,88,0,2,2,2,53,36,0,16,31,369,129,2,0.0,0.0719394037449162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933169175881471,0.0,0.06488772569875394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048555151882709965,0.05052118830978646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060214687087780924,0.042454553580483084,0.0,0.0499647003678337,0.0,0.056761952049717734,0.06907405260931387,0.11409074438312312,0.046687422201883336,0.0,0.07402471748723477,0.0670568646953731,0.0516654703795017,0.13681393925369034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777995766184539,0.06199857604494921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230209187971795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543211951007426,0.06718191358837894,0.0,0.03915727178190248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343606627357039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829815580682594,0.05377700645812253,0.0,0.0,0.08020566305549624,0.0,0.05115646881334895,0.05801744325418946,0.0,0.0,0.057238335096667974,0.0,0.09210061824178888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938191993154716,0.0,0.15860994297590045,0.05824502578794906,0.20704032188915586,0.0,0.0,0.06694041584386412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453905117840843,0.0684321742861421,0.0,0.08139429664069124,0.0,0.0,0.12061083760538766,0.059793754553996825,0.07005896141649583,0.0,0.06854180453376453,0.0,0.06337249773277914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010499075950978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04288602627921628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373240075985608,0.0,0.0,0.13255897955055715,0.0,0.10959844964926344,0.0,0.0,0.061557240485992086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237637841903852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645322815485658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594895099451495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228646341771181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159219896029326,0.08418667965386742,0.05301551196504197,0.0,0.0,0.057396940950558216,0.06844899703897274,0.2907492473985808,0.0,0.0,0.11619543285077702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518705191339083,0.06878022592415432,0.0,0.05775551997605645,0.04828438549817915,0.1215760898122808,0.0,0.0483833776094115,0.0,0.0,0.0685926294045171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433528026533835,0.0,0.3603024268573157,0.06796741505540768,0.17190247313362794,0.0,0.0,0.050761910053142414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310793677880873,0.0,0.09760362505556444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24202500907373745,0.03890483282639312,0.23861553957307025,0.0,0.14161766824689148,0.0,0.0,0.1740523297625684,0.0,0.04122267822661752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573192963310948,0.0,0.0,0.17906152019293325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939428172464987,0.13276843879520173,0.0,0.07819917467942958
mentalhealth,bluepotato_potate,2018/04/07,"Need help socializing I have very low social skills. In conversations I am able to listen sufficiently well and can ask genuine questions to keep conversations going, and give an occasional laugh.so I'm ok on the relieving end. but not all conversations are like this. I can't initiate conversations and poor at making witty/funny things in a conversation, and whenever I try to do so, it ends up getting awkward. This seriously hampers my ability to get involved in group activities. I am completely unable to do anything in groups or start chatting with someone. Help needed.

Thanks!",6.37873487348735,9.273686653465347,7.479735973597361,61.424642464246425,68.60396039603961,10.825522552255228,35.97469746974697,10.746095033038511,5.0755139713971404,476,25,68,16,9,160,79,101,0.08900000000000001,0.7240000000000001,0.187,0.8704,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,1,3,1,8,0,0,1,1,14,21,7,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,3,1,0,0,1,6,5,13,21,1,12,0,1,0,0,17,8,0,2,4,44,10,0,0.20218113845286897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663778499972675,0.0,0.1890120720059366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119830770107021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581449562560249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112626002457396,0.19395057094894616,0.1149042002489295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27103551061893755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970788551908046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877549168429793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495747987955958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29982950466979835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264891463944495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4121964187631158,0.17130742250852288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310485041754936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861412283947772,0.0,0.0,0.13432016456555892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726772149101468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682061334535522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178512444773529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EliasGooner,2018/04/07,"My little brother relives his past. What disorder does he have? He has endured several unfortunate accidents in which he landed badly on his head, and damaged parts of his brains. Four months later, the symptoms have worsened. He acts like this:

One moment he is the 11 year old himself. Then he falls asleep out of nowhere and wakes up a different person. He's like in a trans. I ask him questions like how old he is and sometimes he answers with 3, sometimes 5 etc. He also behaves that way. It's as if his subconscious takes over and goes back to a younger him. Then after a few minutes he falls asleep again and either changes to another age, or wakes up to his conscious self. When he does the latter, he continues what he was doing prior as if nothing happened.

Does someone know how this is called?",3.61310924369748,5.933596758169937,4.019855275443515,85.70720588235297,74.88235294117645,6.462931839402429,29.22922502334267,7.447530270364453,1.858400933706816,636,28,116,8,14,199,102,153,0.107,0.846,0.047,-0.8677,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,7,0,8,7,6,2,0,17,12,16,0,2,4,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,10,3,16,11,4,29,0,1,0,0,28,9,0,4,19,70,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146151764733405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926353534872756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199096436229972,0.0,0.0,0.11678936087731362,0.1268167307767479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955268811776406,0.15509046612774985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067305051638794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868637177321682,0.1740721333584707,0.0,0.3987439313316627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939072186837612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431045072870418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587672261043278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347143149089177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22260843718765114,0.15222759130492455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123229758115905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573671960871545,0.0,0.3187532532839532,0.0,0.10292047641710816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447548667866865,0.14499038969008404,0.0,0.1326191823615196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701447530458895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844805542650714,0.17158559995897202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286907543325651,0.0,0.300434165282268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786555040054606,0.1141978072489019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055838776630927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780826613699367
mentalhealth,MrFishpaw,2018/04/07,"What is wrong with my sister? I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with my sister for years.  After having lost my cat, she calls me to criticize me for being in mourning.  Is she a sociopath?  Or is she just a bitch?  I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for this, but she can be very cold and unemotional.  I believe she has a martyr complex based on her past unstable behavior.  Complains endlessly about her problems yet always rejects help because fixing the problem will take away her ability to complain about it. ",4.413599999999999,6.29239376,5.215,79.93750000000001,71.4,7.4,28.5,8.07648339933343,2.0968,416,16,72,6,8,135,71,100,0.304,0.642,0.054000000000000006,-0.9786,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,1,0,5,0,13,0,0,0,0,12,16,4,1,3,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,2,1,15,0,15,11,0,8,0,3,0,0,14,4,1,2,4,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774067677983726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940230146401096,0.0,0.0,0.12288860006228043,0.0,0.0,0.22712512839770296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20584795118826332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512285499709467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200614602205211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244235577386956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857925990497718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22566571733154805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157208073006467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686772175686993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633449614122886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6612275519515683,0.0,0.12981862583991613
mentalhealth,ghostgirl08,2018/04/07,"Suicidal thoughts I've been having suicidal thoughts for a long time now and I just had the courage to tell my BF and mother. I'm not sure if they know exactly how bad it is but i know exactly how I'll do it. Thing is I am being set up with a therapist and if I tell them i'm not sure if they'll send me to a mental hospital or not. I want help but then again I don't. I don't want to suffer anymore, I don't want anyone worrying anymore.
I don't know what to do.",-0.13377358490566138,1.377248452830191,2.7930566037735858,93.9175094339623,83.33962264150944,6.881509433962264,21.92075471698113,7.908726449838941,0.8361879245283017,360,12,91,7,10,128,58,106,0.18600000000000005,0.73,0.084,-0.7295,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,14,0,0,2,4,28,24,12,2,6,10,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,14,3,7,18,0,8,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,4,5,60,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603658598542821,0.12703853864969314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169957977441928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217797812907233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995483561856465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078571307389325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309598109569386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974683103384487,0.0,0.3424723621237562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176018018456128,0.0,0.0,0.21095055781182848,0.1207035950851882,0.0,0.0,0.2884755596394803,0.10594211988918904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214879715163491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451017236982972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crycateto,2018/04/07,"My father is depressed and suffering from extreme short term memory loss (U.S.) Two years ago my father contracted encephalitis which caused brain damage that prevents him from retaining short term memory. My mother and I have to constantly repeat everything, and he forgets what he’s doing all the time. He fixates on pointless things and gets angry at the smallest of triggers. His whole life he has been a workaholic and a handyman, and has since become unemployed and unable to complete basic home improvement projects, which he insists he can do but ends up frustrated and upset at his inability to complete anything. He refuses to eat for days at a time, and has just about only eaten pb&j sandwiches since he got out of the hospital in 2016. He sleeps almost all day and won’t taken prescription anti depressants, and has stated he doesn’t see the point in doing anything but sleeping all day. I wish there was something he or I could do to add a feeling of purpose back to his life. He’s starting to totally check out and it hurts to see him like this. I don’t know if this is the best place for this, but if anyone has a word of advice it would mean the world. Thanks for reading.",8.095657698056804,7.866684331838562,7.637769058295968,73.40251307922274,62.183856502242136,10.662032884902839,36.07212257100149,10.125756701596842,3.672133333333334,958,39,163,18,12,302,136,223,0.131,0.7809999999999999,0.087,-0.8689,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,4,11,1,1,11,0,20,8,3,2,4,40,32,18,0,5,7,3,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,10,15,3,3,3,1,1,0,3,8,0,1,5,3,12,3,27,24,8,29,0,6,2,0,21,14,0,4,15,108,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063269610152484,0.11850120205640258,0.0,0.13386341032410046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448446050109492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934737006750057,0.0,0.22001811596701246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279335807673334,0.0,0.0,0.14764148413095482,0.0,0.0,0.1402912186156515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492335436347745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732844116677492,0.0,0.0,0.2803264810883827,0.14446296389864596,0.0,0.10673435678967008,0.0,0.0,0.2586418741762978,0.0,0.23028056143636896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367902617183677,0.0,0.0,0.11840274790158788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014493912858333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759373569665493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984343060257586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691786534707112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409414375370934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310955717779278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346823958934329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18884737892553186,0.0653103690919538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561910322744795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167133505910336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966944345827395,0.0,0.12637288643025246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337183736825875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130548068411201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116659021526167,0.0,0.2675574821312378,0.0,0.0,0.10291508666547426,0.0,0.0,0.09462094736507126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307660657917158,0.0,0.0,0.08881251183549582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590232867373338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130588082058652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492513993098733,0.15372792957103054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496399749014983,0.0,0.0,0.08608695217063582
mentalhealth,SimplyMermaid88,2018/04/07,"Help with filling out a job application I'm a 29/f who has been suffering from multiple mental illnesss. I had to quit my job and school three years ago because my mental health was getting so bad, that I started planning suicide. I was in a horrible place mentally and instead of me being able to work on things ( since I had the time now) things got worse and it turned into agoraphobia.  


Recently, I've been making tremendous progress. I've started walking and going to the gym to lose weight and better my health.  I also have an amazing therapist and have been reading up on CBT. Things are looking up! So I feel ready to look for a job.

My problem is, when I get to the part of the application that asks me to put down my most recent job, it also asks why I left. Most of the applications I've done don't just let you put, ""I quit"" and that's it. They always ask why. I don't know what to put down. I feel like no one is going to hire me if I put down that I left because of mental illness problems. So, what is a safe anwser? What would you put, if you were in my shoes? And if I do get an interview,  what do I say when asked about that?",2.788055555555559,3.991980300847459,4.273333333333333,87.77722222222224,74.38135593220339,7.278342749529191,25.822975517890768,7.793537801064563,1.2756099811676085,885,30,193,12,18,295,126,236,0.133,0.7829999999999999,0.084,-0.9166,4,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,3,1,7,11,9,0,0,12,0,23,5,1,1,0,25,43,18,1,6,4,0,3,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,16,11,1,1,3,2,0,9,3,5,0,2,10,6,28,4,28,30,3,33,0,2,2,0,12,14,0,5,11,134,44,9,0.08529806672966032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561158956499889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364256662927333,0.07097482460473553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189687119984651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122032281663884,0.1039938195407382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543920834851621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728953712066316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625853091731313,0.06093695591502895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369415795512055,0.0,0.09695371403437024,0.0,0.06822065609039761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133571243241206,0.0,0.0,0.057173496122812126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385806780863033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468775867374612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535319816110168,0.08722305235191025,0.0,0.04167232683233857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432577863717125,0.09542671827001388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693712189239141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438415557763713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780017754733576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923694940322996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911832496443645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163237460209496,0.0,0.42874058273712345,0.0,0.1814499870271254,0.08532114959791398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844310092018958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783244627713678,0.0,0.08632619737686119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055944224467528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074882131598733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933022405658034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903762982105448,0.17000473606873326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973798865894704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277980264541227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387006584375796,0.0,0.0,0.15393647591589404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209800847426439,0.0,0.0869260172152342,0.0605932992836577,0.0,0.0,0.054929158366930825
mentalhealth,MandaTennisLuver,2018/04/07,"Has anyone had a panic attack that totally messed them up for days? I was giving a big presentation yesterday and I thought everything was going great until I started feeling super hot and weird. Like I couldn't catch my breath. I just remember everyone staring at me like I'd grown another head and then feeling really faint. Next thing I know I'm on the boss's personal couch and I have a bag of someone's peas on my forehead. I still feel shaky from this three days later, and so super embarrassed. Should I be on medication? I know I've had problems with anxiety in the past but I can't bring myself to get prescribed anything for something I should be able to handle on my own. ",3.8875508819538633,5.772467768656718,5.0997150610583475,80.19732021709635,72.80597014925372,8.454816824966079,28.59972862957937,9.095868883498916,2.559337313432836,547,22,101,12,11,181,95,134,0.111,0.765,0.124,0.3766,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,3,12,1,3,5,0,12,5,3,1,1,22,24,9,0,4,2,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,7,0,0,4,2,7,0,1,5,5,18,5,15,14,2,23,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,1,13,66,21,1,0.18862981295777564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977948058225999,0.14430129061019592,0.0,0.0,0.13189435108168318,0.0,0.15522626376256848,0.0,0.0,0.21459364372343104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433012488053756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802438698342008,0.16952831296589568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861307033695195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855129186201714,0.18095090472389394,0.10720266967964936,0.0,0.0,0.2079650347076861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358860779703366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073320242116212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430999710257145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900246916921504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006099460391654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213164429423072,0.0,0.0,0.18006850037642588,0.0,0.1647042768836684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804932559879027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084108832316062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21368080689672567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982542839224365,0.14521644563375566,0.0,0.0,0.13351315248383272,0.0,0.15064001229114232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531726605330867,0.0,0.0,0.14975100133390326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AsAb0veSoBel0w,2018/04/07,"Can't sleep. Literally lay in bed for hours and feel wide awake. Is this a symptom of depression? Recently broke up with my SO of 5.5 years. It wasn't our first breakup but I intend for it to be the last. I'm not sure if I'm stressing over him or if I'm stressing about being lonely. In retrospect, the relationship died a long time ago and we've been using each other as a crutch. At least, I have, I *think*. Now, I'm obsessively spending a lot of time on tinder and looking for an outlet, a distraction. Chemistry class is also kicking my ass and I'm pretty jaded with school and have no motivation to maintain my straight A record. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm almost 24 and my parents definitely don't let me forget this. I even noticed I'm shedding hair more than usual. Everything seems to be falling apart. 


These past 3/4 days have been the worst. I literally laid in bed from 2am until 11am yesterday and couldn't sleep. I'd drift in and out of sleep but never entering REM. I'm currently in bed now and have been since 3am (it's 6:30am now) and I can't sleep. Even when I detach myself from my phone and try to relax, I can't sleep. I have no idea what's going on and how to help myself. 


Any advice?",0.4718790218790225,2.725055138996144,2.629509652509654,91.58722458172458,86.4131274131274,5.615495495495495,19.444144144144143,7.03164865440522,0.3399991248391245,967,28,212,14,30,326,149,259,0.187,0.7240000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9791,2,2,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,0,2,10,10,0,4,10,0,22,9,7,4,2,40,37,24,1,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,9,18,0,0,6,1,1,4,11,8,0,1,4,3,22,2,33,28,5,38,0,3,1,1,6,14,1,6,20,134,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866438996209246,0.10764435911870864,0.0,0.12159911261426708,0.0,0.0,0.09711112740725984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257962555281638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831520778925015,0.0,0.10459135866620116,0.0,0.12602984108081666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604126866409739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913750029047783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140093292929321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103292125399262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901402596778279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139498698708747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958852339043548,0.0,0.0,0.2741695434865731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989853268086126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124175005773787,0.08577278003480161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074657129833099,0.10197439765164187,0.0,0.0,0.10323927109440326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365777417182178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825398543350406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483864370953333,0.0,0.1159229727962406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354254506487047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990192079571865,0.13037520959581528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289819914180118,0.0,0.11054940989508363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004518749559199,0.0,0.6076110029188587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27820562360191914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445058105316082,0.12621694405858686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781032559610526,0.0,0.0,0.1416188693783092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244605571420371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488042042400013,0.13374294785838875,0.0,0.07162521556187566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819983792637263
mentalhealth,computeronee,2018/04/07,"I need help again. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and adjustment disorder about 10 years ago. Since then I got help, went on meds and have had everything under control. But the last few months I’ve noticed the changes and I know what they mean. But I’m scared to admit I need help again. I don’t know when I last felt happy or didn’t spend my free time sleeping. 

I’ve made an appointment for Monday with my GP. He’s great and I trust him; but I’m scared. To admit I need help, to even know where to begin. I feel I’m being over dramatic, this isn’t a big deal, how privileged of me to see a doctor because I’m not happy? 

I just needed to vent and was hoping someone could share about their fear of getting help. 

Thanks in advance. ",2.0019266917293237,3.94900857236842,3.239022556390978,91.17815789473684,78.40789473684211,6.711278195488722,22.04135338345865,7.7094869923839395,0.8474853383458649,581,17,125,9,14,188,99,152,0.094,0.639,0.267,0.98,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,2,9,13,0,3,5,0,9,3,1,3,0,31,33,12,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,9,0,2,2,4,4,0,0,8,3,17,10,17,23,1,20,0,1,1,0,13,6,0,2,12,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130789118917502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758707970000532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776260243163344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494713739106673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307529345839154,0.10185048520855597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151418837461254,0.10987177710084252,0.12947606025513295,0.0,0.0,0.14620084712890727,0.1305684556511939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842556554170659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464743606140256,0.0,0.0,0.1435463900514699,0.0645008316425202,0.0,0.12248266073135755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666475866765229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020255969174132,0.14064115664534027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715911964808538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275215458244737,0.0,0.0,0.12670109298656132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21031960302169306,0.20796543619017802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070533954779407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895597224216166,0.14169625353473606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182137866518387,0.0,0.0,0.3783521149018386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523390139076398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554301713855312,0.0,0.10165300145830544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552330665998992,0.0,0.12765739259546227,0.0,0.1080856363283236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744495844588602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438433274045962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182542800538796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214784922518584
mentalhealth,Lookingforhelp128,2018/04/07,"Long term hospitalization All of my life I have struggled really badly with anxiety and depression. When I was younger I struggled with substance abuse. I spent a year in rehab treatment when I was younger. I got clean but did not really get help for my underlying psychiatric issues. 
I'm still sick I just don't use. I never found any solace in the 12 step programs and never felt right and felt out of place there. 

I went to college and a really hard graduate school and academically did well but my depression and anxiety got out of control. I drank a lot and gained a huge amount of weight and developed a sleep disorder. I started taking a lot of risks and would do anything just to escape my anxiety. My anxiety got worse and worse. 

After I graduated I felt burnt out and incredibly anxious and I've never been able to start or manage my career. I hate what I do and want to change but i took on so much debt. I have incredible anxiety and freak out and feel suicidal at work so I haven't been working. 

Now I am broke, uninsured, living with a parent, no car, no job. I have sunk into a giant depression. I can't afford therapy. I have a psychiatrist I see who is trying different meds but none have really helped much. What I am on now just leaves me loopy and tired and im still anxious and very depressed. 

I still go see her and tell her but I get very little time with her and i dont have a lot of faith there. I will keep going to see her and taking meds as prescribed because i know i am supposed to. My family has a lot of problems and pressure and I feel like i put a huge burden on them and my girlfriend with my problems and how i am. 

I need serious help for my depression and especially for my anxiety. I can't function. I have panic attacks going anywhere or trying to drive or do basic things. I have trouble getting through a single day. Working seems impossible and I feel huge amounts of guilt over that. 

But I want to get help, I just think I need long term inpatient care. But I am broke and uninsured and unsure how to find it. Maybe such a thing doesnt exist for someone broke and uninsured, i don't know, it probably doesn't. When I try searching online I only end up finding places that cost a lot of money. Am I just screwed? ",2.2933696969696946,4.538162128888891,3.948414141414144,84.9703181818182,78.82222222222222,7.113131313131312,24.89393939393939,8.150884317080207,1.6413999999999995,1778,66,352,34,44,593,212,450,0.3,0.628,0.07200000000000001,-0.9989,5,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,1,5,21,28,3,6,16,0,35,8,1,4,4,90,76,48,1,7,16,1,8,1,1,2,4,0,1,0,9,40,2,2,13,0,4,9,15,24,1,0,17,11,63,4,44,57,14,53,1,8,3,1,13,22,1,9,23,244,72,12,0.06772941361750495,0.08024827994106916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046058323800459766,0.0,0.3108768962030039,0.1530299179533216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055735536487163465,0.0,0.0,0.07705198572552911,0.0,0.0,0.05655123131111985,0.041287221899541836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905465111184013,0.0,0.07164873900756227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596429652096709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043679868668701584,0.0,0.2916762235193752,0.0,0.0,0.07076282175943717,0.077623775806874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937836833736422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998815731008985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384926339513529,0.0,0.10273807969856737,0.048385906621322285,0.1950925753896082,0.0,0.12380691404923055,0.0,0.0,0.07426180615804916,0.0,0.0,0.14154329274675478,0.0,0.11547655975133216,0.0,0.16250819780880507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067225118867819,0.06686877388347477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159039309219188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315938913263471,0.07069191116258335,0.06721099219540849,0.060201014801815264,0.0,0.0,0.07444462889398519,0.0,0.0,0.07171566966563056,0.0,0.0,0.0478392878347675,0.03308917034868592,0.06788266560012772,0.05980631308463673,0.11987679946227975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879056271542577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804329943071423,0.0,0.15046422005142507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957782411015548,0.10044100400219227,0.15671129750317642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151127106037843,0.0,0.0794658737627538,0.07520549858653006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152564351887434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302376325180278,0.12961580354968955,0.0,0.06808676767515848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355678669650965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05784054916212046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854578248173486,0.16191472108922889,0.06165831441849956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777832699001493,0.0,0.057386912367857326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587845511969753,0.0,0.16226639161376905,0.0,0.0,0.14161097749061907,0.0,0.07408498556889173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184818002167616,0.0,0.05919849279644604,0.0,0.07745448714854332,0.0,0.08999282576651234,0.043398273452238886,0.0,0.0,0.039493565745883454,0.07784499755408461,0.0,0.0,0.07524987061736572,0.13795147791243648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058496467280871614,0.0,0.11176771886490583,0.0798971259204042,0.0,0.0,0.08247617937585783,0.060896876817717625,0.06278584497538575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792345930089976,0.0,0.13804411752384388,0.048113032182065515,0.0,0.0,0.043615521773621165
mentalhealth,lealea97,2018/04/07,"Designing Mental health app :) I am currently designing a mental health app that promotes tackling mental health issues through community engagement, fitness and developing a support system in your local/nearby area. I just need volunteers that I can talk to to have a little bit of an insight on what is really needed for people struggling with there mental health, what works, what doesn't work, what is not available for you and what can be improved. Please comment below and I can pm you. It would be great if you can volunteer your time to help me with this project. i would love for it it come to life as I feel it will help society. ",5.5222504708097935,7.4052836355932214,5.623333333333335,78.0984086629002,68.57627118644068,8.63427495291902,30.060263653484,9.150863307647796,2.7443811676082857,511,20,87,10,9,161,77,118,0.021,0.732,0.246,0.9808,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,5,0,3,2,5,0,1,4,0,14,6,0,0,0,15,20,5,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,12,4,15,15,1,10,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,1,2,64,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756309377060695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164310389457978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834252247566511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901779037995286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5746882016542877,0.0,0.0,0.18119394811076625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107515562831596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546969187062784,0.0,0.13546893069530913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219899711550626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5448504398072883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20044344590549854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370507206517588,0.0,0.0,0.14836849056490964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658894027227833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130181487257004,0.0,0.0,0.15338147945421315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863897658462787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881468816288871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19680068717676927,0.0,0.0,0.19203197059489505,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aclark512,2018/04/07,"We hope this podcast episode can help and inspire! We hope you enjoy 😊 Hi everyone!

My friend and I host a weekly podcast with the goal of getting people, specifically guys, to talk more. We feel as though talking nowadays isn’t as real as it should be, and we really want to encourage people to speak up and tell people their thoughts, feelings, dreams, how’re they’re feeling - honestly, literally anything.

This week we had the absolute pleasure of having our friend Nadia on. She has suffered with mental health issues for years, but has had a really successful and inspiring journey to date. After many years of struggle, she is now working with those with mental health, she is a mental health advocate, she is a beauty queen (Miss Intercontinental Ireland), and has also started an excellent blog about her experiences.

I’m posting this here in the hope that it could help someone, as well as bring a smile to your face! 😊 I’ve posted the link below, so I hope that’s ok. Enjoy! 😊

[The ‘Wee’ Podcast a Episode #18](https://youtu.be/rjaFrghxpfo)",6.672881562881564,8.172321904761906,6.500105820105822,74.35465201465202,65.40211640211639,8.989987789987794,33.586080586080584,9.265573868473778,3.2090053724053726,836,36,136,15,13,263,122,189,0.023,0.655,0.322,0.9962,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,6,2,1,5,7,20,0,1,12,1,14,4,1,0,0,31,28,15,0,7,1,0,3,0,2,1,3,1,0,1,8,15,0,0,7,2,0,2,1,3,1,0,3,4,17,17,24,22,1,16,0,2,0,0,25,4,0,4,8,89,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367510835913548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639448214258847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352505364699244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193024988747836,0.0,0.11458330901220222,0.0,0.0,0.1776852725038046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810008479280165,0.0,0.06119969980114302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598490278766002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37353621880149135,0.0,0.0,0.1570300835645707,0.0,0.0,0.4653773222360766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226149773863765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875940964501493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541422505492385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24362593977736244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243713896411278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332853516833038,0.15008303167400958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925053292948473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291078378713759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245792990669295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830195764623228,0.10238365711343647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508735766945664,0.09299438042260348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909094774347714,0.0,0.18792185939080971,0.0,0.10532100837132606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527776086108912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086588915189872
mentalhealth,introvertedbitchxo,2018/04/07,"I have no idea what is going on with me It is currently 5:30 am and I still haven't been to sleep yet, over the past 5 days I have been getting 3 hours of sleep each night at a maximum. I am not tired at all, I can still feel my heart racing but at the same time I can feel the physical effects it is having on my body. Not to mention I have only eaten 1 meal, if that, a day. I can feel that my stomach is empty but I am just not hungry at all. Today I started listening to an audio book that was seven hours long while I was working on school work and cleaning my room, etc. and I don't even know how this happened, I feel like the days have just being going in fast-forward, but I listened to all 7 hours of that fucking audio book. I just have absolutely no idea what is going on so help me out reddit.",1.5941133004926122,2.8035957183908096,3.5663382594417072,91.63034482758621,77.44827586206897,6.120853858784894,21.623973727422005,6.5431188927421005,0.26432151067323506,621,16,143,5,14,211,97,174,0.041,0.898,0.06,0.6236,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,9,2,1,0,7,0,24,9,5,2,3,29,39,10,0,1,10,0,4,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,9,6,2,0,8,2,0,3,7,1,0,1,5,8,21,1,18,33,6,32,0,0,0,1,4,12,1,1,18,108,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997708448169445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786487593305812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606237149001503,0.09512583267709468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29128942326722684,0.10289005942591653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331469420309538,0.0752460727667539,0.0,0.24555476841843815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735906257440452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17066794752934486,0.09653558050825968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4255009290481013,0.0,0.0,0.3251688711782659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915127384909915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036236254029976,0.0,0.0,0.12745582217764362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515582839030854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953598083809127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748624930554473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575896424009002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882540218319985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194022013616208,0.0,0.2300339064517665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398096905235262,0.1655332509739633,0.13651696310122993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20970091748781755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fearlesswarrior3344,2018/04/07,"Does anyone struggle with not sleeping for days at a time? I'm on hour 49 with no sleep. And it's not for lack of trying, I've super medicated myself to sleep. But I haven't been able to. Does anyone else struggle with this, and do you have any ways to actually sleep?",1.8325000000000031,3.606915821428572,3.5280000000000022,89.71700000000001,78.28571428571428,5.908571428571428,20.128571428571426,6.742157984588678,0.16067571428571448,210,5,46,2,5,70,41,56,0.123,0.7759999999999999,0.101,0.1083,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,5,4,0,0,9,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,11,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,28,5,0,0.17301235489109998,0.0,0.168835101041479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765433417239582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419485225549534,0.177271603240116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157865594975204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028085553497736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445296220510293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038231888279384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429174572989442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6925492093786987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36174015668357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088489546550264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746403214181278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732915425030992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SushiKebab,2018/04/07,"NPS Diagnosis. Is there a real chance for help? I received the diagnosis after I initially spend some time with my former therapist due to a mental breakdown at work three years ago. Yeah, it was more than just a week of therapy. Feeling that I tend do everything in order to adjust - but not really want to change. I feel the pressure but do not really want to give everything up either. It feels like a vicious circle against myself.",4.416825396825395,6.686080382716052,5.675943562610228,74.97888888888889,72.33333333333333,9.073015873015876,27.62081128747796,9.606745405546679,2.94986631393298,345,13,58,9,7,115,63,81,0.113,0.773,0.114,-0.2303,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,1,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,15,11,2,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,3,6,1,13,10,3,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,42,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082340217701405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396604529663865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072180705587828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436523106827684,0.16184776534352466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173279406796016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185206489895622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068116011380176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283096792373639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25786413552965903,0.29026817981183073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590803094572233,0.2630426615633359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210345341761276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672507800419973,0.0,0.18172519392700728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493150589696914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458911328994649
mentalhealth,NannatheViking,2018/04/07,Thank you all for sharing. It helped me go to therapy. Thanks to reading about others issues and experiences with therapy I finally made an appointment and went. I'm thirty and have been wanting to see a therapist for over twenty years. You all gave me the courage and know how. The therapist picked up on certain things immediately which has me feeling encouraged. I appreciate all of you and the advice and good vibes you share here.,3.885597749648383,6.952894493670888,4.7118143459915665,76.91542897327709,78.74683544303798,8.574402250351618,29.030942334739805,9.150863307647796,3.2266950773558376,351,16,59,10,9,113,58,79,0.0,0.72,0.28,0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,0,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,3,4,17,14,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,9,8,11,10,3,7,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,0,2,43,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605472782228991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625605315714006,0.0,0.0,0.10144528781829833,0.0,0.0,0.21978194321587471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140234747876465,0.1682801387074435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344790296815248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20940710480538144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026179621277336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898423260570684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068574055001026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15987728728343525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694289611142594,0.458879089310771,0.4658971468767466,0.13329061831189434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183376255225537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598736125292453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920007379888632
mentalhealth,saricidal,2018/04/07,"Why is therapy so expensive? I know I need help. But for the life of me I can't afford the sessions. I want to get help so bad.
The second thing that I wish was different, was being able to talk to someone more than one a month. The few times I've tried going, the next session is a month later. I feel that I need to talk to someone more consistently then once a month. What do I do?",0.6395121951219522,2.465754597560977,2.797743902439024,93.26051829268292,82.29268292682926,6.051219512195122,20.006097560975608,7.1686216300943375,0.2964829268292681,295,8,69,4,8,100,52,82,0.057,0.818,0.125,0.5055,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,0,8,1,0,0,0,7,16,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,2,1,9,0,8,13,3,8,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,46,13,2,0.19108771739992408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955026228964853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964599373548594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661969146088864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983544548677496,0.0,0.1085995534165524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25616413803391913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501681210746104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497090593474467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575731788363644,0.0,0.0,0.2833782423767365,0.0,0.0,0.2032239552977082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20350218260247724,0.12948598269918507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238160056997492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071781379439433,0.0,0.0,0.21852545830651665,0.0,0.12695018854885964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142478470261276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973601678734775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270848663451614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242694316029614,0.0,0.2197414445434955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bobdobilina5,2018/04/07,"I have no mental health. This is a cross post from depression but I realized it makes way more sense here. Some of my comments seem off because of that.

I don’t know, I just want to try putting this in writing and see how that goes.

I was neglected as a kid, from birth to 13 I remember weeks of being left alone. No one cared(s) about my wellbeing. My mom provided “stuff”, the bare bones basic shit to survive, that was it. I think she did it because society demanded it of her. My mom wouldn’t have me if she could do life over, she even told me she wished I would kill myself. My dad’s not in the picture, he was too busy doing coke throughout my life to care about anything else. By the time I was 13 it was official and I was completely abandoned without regard. I would leave home for days, show up and no one would even mention that I was gone. By this time I was high off my ass or drunk days at a time. I think I was high nearly every day until I had a mental breakdown at 24 when I stopped drinking and doing drugs.

This has left an impact. I’m sure you can do the math. There are massive parts of a normal human psyche that I’m missing. The big one is that I don’t relate to any other human beings, at all. I have to fight sociopathic tendencies. But I empathize just fine. Sounds like a contradiction but it’s not. I’ve gone through life literally hurting everyone who puts any emotional investment in me. I act out my life as a sociopath because I don’t know how else to act and then fully realize the emotional trauma I caused. I have wrecked lives of good people in inexcusable ways.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, especially in this subreddit. There isn’t really a better one. I don’t feel depressed much. I know life is passing me by and I’ll die one day having not accomplished a great deal but that’s fine. I don’t have ambition or goals. I know I hurt people all the time and I remember every instance but I don’t really get sad at that. I guess all of that is too overwhelming to process so I leave it be, locked away somewhere in my brain, I guess. It’s ok if I suffer too, I’m not overly concerned by pain and mental anguish. My well-being is pretty irrelevant and easily ignored.

I decided I’m going to see a therapist, kind of for fun, I’m waiting to see their reaction when I detail this shit to them. Still on the waiting list. Not sure how much I’ll reveal or lie about, I think that depends on them.

I’ll wrap this up, I’m not sad, I’m not happy, I’m not depressed all the time but I’m certainly not normal and there isn’t time to course correct. I’m 36. It’s a done deal, I live in a grey world and that’s that.

Last thought, just came to me. I present as a pretty upbeat person, I smile and joke a lot. I think if I was raised by loving people I would have been one of those super upbeat people full of energy and the spark of life. I wonder much wasted human potential there is like that?

EDIT* It's not clear but I had a mental breakdown BECAUSE I stopped drinking and getting high. I didn't quit doing that because of the breakdown. I had this wonderful epiphany that I could lead a normal life if I was sober...",1.260777037887486,3.420496618461541,3.0615820895522385,90.39198507462689,82.04615384615384,6.1575200918484505,22.16303099885189,7.374400105419477,0.8286895522388069,2462,81,524,37,67,819,277,650,0.188,0.687,0.125,-0.9947,0,1,3,0,1,1,73.0,0,1,3,7,23,38,4,2,28,1,58,20,5,7,9,105,103,39,2,16,28,3,1,2,0,5,10,1,1,5,38,16,4,7,20,5,1,11,25,20,0,6,23,6,77,18,65,70,12,65,0,12,4,2,28,30,3,15,23,346,115,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062051792967396525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148578084426154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930328914167962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056290230075430166,0.0,0.0,0.1826120252416176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298817441261607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688271571751754,0.0,0.06852450412895791,0.061085290371771815,0.06154714862876825,0.0,0.0,0.06281763431354133,0.0,0.0,0.095671301083976,0.0,0.0,0.15455569859919274,0.12353533208053225,0.1548089218149819,0.0,0.0621802287271227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131179420624445,0.0,0.11738385000423555,0.0694800519199287,0.0,0.10009923723419688,0.1347881083564044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914393496435394,0.0,0.10095856293758906,0.05724943327917554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03029380994897809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260413309169363,0.0,0.03404993518403722,0.05025217681201585,0.0,0.06605428739324586,0.1320018350769366,0.0,0.0,0.06377849618750345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368471096100539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990410282867706,0.060097617986023685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827619844781016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628485100922107,0.062390163588059225,0.1646330732032389,0.04883708658841894,0.0,0.12687841977902575,0.13019128656179513,0.0,0.2962282364851659,0.058540925089517526,0.0,0.1058085427127366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093588498738924,0.05407381624183781,0.0,0.03999238872508338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415128250499725,0.0,0.0,0.14033874891711454,0.0,0.0,0.1321288327959227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610604015214454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24359157175741825,0.0,0.06375164979306745,0.0,0.0,0.06487993402020976,0.0,0.16614450515246995,0.05231371540635473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738008676800351,0.12190610801037965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045821409412062,0.0,0.06372484395211281,0.0,0.0,0.0767635962288583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573948571707026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322869776260652,0.05454253956026807,0.0,0.0,0.122999654730318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784659439884897,0.10017989141570922,0.0,0.0,0.06858604406844564,0.0,0.0,0.1129345756022042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956360382423549,0.0,0.1535593094906841,0.0,0.04756422488732144,0.20961449164344334,0.0,0.0,0.05724943327917554,0.0,0.040676990131812585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035338236151634735,0.09511229182914403,0.04805858988838154,0.0,0.05386897686470946,0.0,0.05406215821229055,0.0,0.06889698630024313,0.0577539882130224,0.12994617254526694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024188779104274,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lecollecteur,2018/04/07,Has anyone tried TMS? TMS/rTMS. Is it beneficial ? What was your experience like? Is it worth the money? ,0.3015789473684194,1.1703370526315808,2.6604210526315804,82.75694736842105,125.84210526315788,5.730526315789473,14.326315789473686,6.742157984588678,0.5808863157894737,80,2,15,2,5,27,16,19,0.0,0.645,0.355,0.8053,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4773767009248284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6678353646537689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335446046123699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635249808433979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vancolamom,2018/04/07,i’m so bad at talking to people i actually know i’ve felt really depressed for about 2 years. i talked to my friends a couple times about how i was feeling and my friend sent the cops to my house because he said he was worried i was going to kill myself. i feel like i can’t talk to anyone. things have only gotten worse since that incident. i moved out and my mom lashed out on me and made me feel unwelcome back. i barely talk to most of my family anymore. my boyfriend broke up with me. my friends ignore me. i feel like i don’t have anything to live for. i started therapy this week and don’t have another appointment for 2 weeks- not that it’s helped much so far anyway.,1.4680000000000002,3.583901800000003,3.1442857142857146,90.33071428571432,81.0,6.2857142857142865,22.142857142857146,7.447530270364453,0.838285714285715,532,17,113,8,14,176,90,140,0.172,0.72,0.108,-0.8882,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,11,1,0,2,0,9,0,0,2,0,18,22,7,1,0,1,1,5,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,6,0,0,8,6,23,5,19,14,2,15,0,2,0,0,13,6,0,1,8,70,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.13599907637795428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613521497785825,0.0,0.0,0.13821155428418774,0.09744648889806487,0.0,0.11468462647850185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071622472875694,0.11636304678450235,0.08495494832052987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420351987048805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003393473994342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137989485550272,0.0,0.2818663289279218,0.19912321572316946,0.1338112124236285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230166422733261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920372385251932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341269375176256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608072451625302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418552213282807,0.0,0.07659076234068098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617233747437074,0.0,0.12306088914650667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186950491157132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322133147921702,0.0,0.1481217849945782,0.1024485120569828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599253641979277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661739027244047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928009179422908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256699603446187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528326963841505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864249548643683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480617395897121,0.0,0.0,0.15937478111043996,0.0,0.09258719175650497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126421886894282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357865068978555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153081934448147,0.1420237343496517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974579125877317
mentalhealth,Harlequin803,2018/04/07,"I struggle to follow simple instructions. I get told how I can fix problems / what helps, but I don't do it. I have been having trouble in my relationship where when I'm making a lot of different mistakes. 

We sit together and work out what helps and how I can get better, but when I reach the situations that apply or encounter the same problem, I not only forget what to do, but I simply don't think of it at all. 

I hate this feeling of knowing what helps and doing nothing about it. I don't understand why I do this. 

One example is that my girlfriend struggles to get in the mood for sex. She is getting counselling to help with this, but after talking about it I know that what I need to do to help is to talk about sex as this does help her get in the mood. However whenever I get in the mood, I will do anything but that and I don't understand why. I know it's what she needs but I never think to do it. 

It's nothing like a lack of care. I've never been diagnosed with anything but the feeling of not doing what I know I need to is driving me insane. Does anyone have advice on how I can deal with this better. I have been to counselling and have failed to identify how I can improve.

Tl;dr: I have trouble remembering what I need to do when I encounter a problem despite knowing what I need to do. ",3.1961194029850724,4.36972741791045,4.694208955223882,85.2742985074627,73.32835820895522,7.300298507462688,27.95223880597015,7.7348632917899725,1.6292113432835815,1020,39,210,13,20,342,112,268,0.139,0.705,0.156,0.3923,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,4,11,17,1,2,9,0,32,3,0,5,3,53,60,21,0,10,10,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,25,10,0,0,12,0,0,2,8,10,0,1,4,2,35,4,34,55,4,17,0,1,0,2,16,8,0,2,7,165,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678358143491934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925310271688627,0.0,0.16300774522254016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751908033891669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098084350065176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210888709624576,0.0,0.10052646472333164,0.0,0.10347875653127496,0.0,0.0,0.17334622890641405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015813833013668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104749831465647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977843647297764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983182328232855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27215695462831274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0483873610067975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420273684834019,0.0,0.0,0.06611190881612138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671952990453477,0.1527759897719523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900686789614062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711403633620848,0.07532659303488752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843120549316241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063350152395522,0.1121963052040154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132837604600353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20708229968165956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921387228108375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692538993735114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463974104536528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621431610208052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874163499975973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210441514188852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VastConflict,2018/04/07,"Anixety Disorder that has taking over my life. So about 2 year ago, after AP testing, i was bed ridden for about 2 weeks due to mass amounts of dizziness feeling that the world was spinning around me, and derealization. The disorders have only gone down slightly 2 weeks after the testing and i have been left with the aftermath ever since. I have been to many doctors since then anywhere from a physical to the ENT with brain scans inbetween. I have also been to acupuncture as well.  After all this testing my physiatrist and therapist have narrowed it down to me having an anxiety disorder. I have been trying many different medications with meditations and it seems to me that this will not be over anytime soon. As i am in my senior year of HS I have missed many days of school and have to go to a local community college instead of Chapman college. I am writing this here to ask if anyone has dealt with an anxiety related disorder or something similar because lately i have become hopeless and really depressed. I am not sure if this is ever going to go away and the medications I am trying dont seem to be helping it. 


Btw sorry for the impropper typing talking about my anxiety brings on its symptoms aka dizziness and it is really hard to focus and thank you to anyone who responds!",7.443823355068169,7.78087055186722,7.917762299940724,68.95669087136929,63.39834024896266,10.86911677534084,37.546235921754594,10.608840637214634,4.274182928275044,1037,49,169,24,14,343,135,241,0.112,0.8540000000000001,0.034,-0.9427,2,0,1,0,0,1,14.0,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,0,11,0,28,6,1,0,4,27,40,17,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,13,14,0,0,3,0,0,6,3,3,1,0,7,3,19,3,40,30,2,36,0,3,1,0,7,13,0,5,17,135,32,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499625951688853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570067151390877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459452623019091,0.0,0.0,0.1498660228459182,0.0,0.0,0.09540052733790666,0.10018581383190599,0.0,0.1006860552179335,0.0,0.0,0.0653274446819559,0.11835651030178705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963278172491745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911325279072279,0.0,0.09230198342415108,0.0,0.0,0.11196573930977023,0.4912864258454145,0.10968901884759892,0.0,0.0,0.1255978418485121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387570054533124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541863875346948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271485031308046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599975369866412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183116115422404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208880005024672,0.0,0.11643625412517497,0.0,0.07569456809794751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32594873921532824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215917092376364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150462917756765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730666366559371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845778929259,0.0,0.1951199397313711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772977694399613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825016802481308,0.0,0.11996364722292566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101002757493264,0.11138658515301827,0.0805755514685982,0.08613603176094928,0.0,0.09866412370642504,0.0,0.12442807297855762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551746081061726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719243225232323,0.0,0.09635517161442816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802287753211595
mentalhealth,ComplicatedRick,2018/04/07,"Can chronic fatigue be a result of mental illness? I'm constantly tired. Not in a falling asleep way but just so tired I can't focus and don't want to move/talk/think. I take adderall which doesn't help and a bunch of other supplements for it that definitely help some but it's still an issue. All my blood tests came back great, I workout daily, sleep 8 hours a night and eat healthy. I had a sleep study done and that came back with good results as well. The only thing that does help is energy drinks but I don't want to rely on them so I use them only when I am feeling overly tired and need to get something done. The only time I naturally feel awake and alert is when I'm working out and my blood is pumping but that energy passes when I'm done. It gets worse and better randomly but is almost always there. I've tried several depression medications and have only gotten bad side effects with zero positive effects. When it gets really bad I don't even want to have sex.

I wouldn't say I'm happy but this feeling is definitely not sadness. It's more just overwhelming fatigue with brain fog. I can't for the life of me figure out if this is depression or if I should be pushing to keep trying to find if something is physically wrong with me. I feel like I've tried everything and am losing hope.

If I had energy my life would actually be enjoyable.

Also worth noting is I got sober from a heavy opiate/benzo/everything addiction a couple years ago. It's hard to say if I experienced these symptoms before as I was high 24/7. I do remember opiates having a peridoxal effect and making me more awake though.
",3.18616154873164,5.192729947040501,4.651164886515356,82.13519859813087,75.07476635514018,7.700979083222076,24.548397863818426,8.527137837955566,1.7500528704939922,1287,42,245,25,28,429,174,321,0.18,0.645,0.175,-0.1596,0,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,6,17,18,0,1,12,0,33,21,6,7,1,62,57,33,0,13,16,0,5,1,0,3,12,2,0,0,16,19,2,1,10,2,1,5,9,10,1,1,10,8,26,8,24,41,5,26,0,7,0,1,7,7,0,10,14,158,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.08879391181858616,0.09919342128990406,0.0,0.0,0.08065786920760297,0.0,0.09111415963920692,0.0,0.0,0.07276532348880221,0.07571164887467609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399326435054587,0.15194706302873112,0.0,0.0,0.07742648348514952,0.0,0.0,0.08047398335501214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157584425305334,0.0,0.20813850885835672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832874810783487,0.0,0.0,0.10067960834854076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567405147210866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962667714172655,0.27934559141432685,0.0,0.08913636010395362,0.0,0.0931063216835762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060098576480256766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355335841363494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403076419356906,0.06500385785275277,0.0,0.0,0.08316395830948091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261683914070858,0.0,0.0,0.07631878027789628,0.07277366853220228,0.10031769697930264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686141667448818,0.08150989962307273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296767991304866,0.09613679391355458,0.0,0.09037441213047236,0.08960762605051059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497077280199194,0.0,0.08087681893397007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853900994459325,0.044453517067377865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179544968456146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073707690943345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166367541809667,0.09169734227749696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670883851202516,0.0,0.06746853787244232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538871787687671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768104661573418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058291047329620864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307485807260254,0.0,0.0,0.14471909958062082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279372371491892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211305897964905,0.0,0.0,0.14009835268678528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266538400179791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457429863495263,0.06841377044460648,0.07313497204173013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045025568784156,0.058303241491832934,0.08939801572669119,0.0,0.053057477127285,0.31374167658917285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853303758670406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858685120386545,0.0,0.0,0.1610062240897879,0.07222427526860806,0.0,0.0,0.08181167204979271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624239847866384,0.0,0.09272741609613994,0.06463726574981014,0.09948417442265543,0.0,0.05859510290330557
mentalhealth,CruelYouth19,2018/04/08,"I don't know if I need help. Hi, I'm a 17 and male. I don't know if this is common but... Sometimes in my life I felt things that aren't ""normal"" to feel. 

(Sorry if I don't explain me very well, it's hard to understand even for me, and also English isn't my first language).

Well, let's start with tonight. I have a party at a friend's house and they put some lights to dance. At one moment I was staring to that lights running in circles and then I started to ""imagine"" the *entire world* spinning, like *for real*. It was horrible and I wanted to stop feeling that, but I couldn't get out of that thinking. It's like I have two sides: One says that it's impossible to feel the rotation of the Earth, but the second can't get out this idea of my head. This is one example. I felt this ""spinning world"" feeling before, but last night was really strong.

Another example would be gaggling: since a few months, everytime I hear french or even english I started to gag. I know how weird this sounds, but I don't know how to think about this. I really tried to convince myself to not feel that, but as I said before it's like I can't control my mind and this things still are happening without my control.

There are other examples but I think that two cases explain this well. As I remember, that happens with me since my childhood. Once, when I was like 14, I believed for a time that there was people spying me from a hole in a wall of my room. I know that's ridiculous, but I couldn't stop believe that.

So... That's all. I hope some of you can help me with this. I'm scared of telling this thoughts to a therapist because I don't know what will happen. Sorry if this was long but I'm started to get worried about myself and my mental health.

(Sorry for my bad English).",2.0383770718232057,3.819977930939232,3.2948031767955825,91.5892765883978,77.70165745856353,6.071961325966853,24.01968232044199,6.9077264865688965,0.7481350828729285,1369,46,295,14,32,444,163,362,0.084,0.802,0.114,0.8587,0,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,1,4,15,15,1,1,12,0,28,3,1,4,1,69,66,29,0,11,16,0,8,4,1,2,2,4,1,1,32,12,0,4,23,1,0,3,13,4,3,7,10,15,45,11,39,50,4,34,0,0,1,0,13,12,0,8,23,203,77,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870531670948933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008821763760866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173451987794875,0.052372317479064213,0.0,0.14621280616907786,0.19359109512012104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271949389813556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349064452385565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21720325238700866,0.0,0.1649816388062059,0.0,0.0,0.07307832149235298,0.0,0.0,0.06637686787563625,0.0,0.13465940411543095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279201404720573,0.0,0.07696198134024236,0.0,0.08817245002390321,0.09132246073606576,0.09683121203710164,0.0,0.11517255558284335,0.0,0.0,0.08533189038613352,0.0,0.0991331083483286,0.0,0.09698633833352499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832962034985096,0.0700312972318517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785278604903629,0.06068353004110893,0.1678927721353368,0.0,0.0,0.07603110007120989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658100645375938,0.0,0.08674855012353383,0.0,0.06857565722928713,0.0,0.0,0.06370407001853938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062437743509601,0.0841773831033827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914955021296162,0.17465245120665132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956188235505176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636720149112903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778882987818904,0.11007729165735776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732370350492058,0.0,0.08172379526814337,0.06832218352007184,0.08601480410391289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213773575019886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497104628645459,0.28852073958623176,0.24324120926076306,0.0,0.06861095343619925,0.14365573875268484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509253750618594,0.0,0.0,0.0997526624999177,0.11415475842258582,0.16515047881987335,0.0,0.06820604182962348,0.05009708739077588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058329900192973176,0.0,0.1678507977331661,0.08943940231496406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088796711178813,0.050674245588011015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317407483076281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281793606890038,0.0,0.0,0.08724973824732515,0.0,0.06103077127472047,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MockAlpaca,2018/04/08,"I don’t know anything about what I’m feeling mentally and physically? (Uneducated?) Okay so, I’m 19F (20 soon) and mental health has never really had a light shine on it in my life, meaning in school they didn’t really tell us about it and my family seem (to me at least) like they’d think it’s a little over the top to be diagnosed with lots of mental illnesses (or maybe that’s just me overthinking idk). 
Point is, I think what I’m experiencing is something to do with my mental health, but I’m not sure where to go or what to do or how to approach things.

Firstly, my experience of doctors has most always been negative; I’ve gone to them with hopes that I’ll tell them what’s wrong and they will help, get every time I go (be it for an illness, bad cough, anything!) I’m always shrugged off or given antibiotics and shoes away. So I feel like they won’t take me seriously. 

Which leads me to my ‘problems’; I don’t know what’s wrong with me but ever since starting university I have strong feelings of things like I’m not progressing as fast as everyone else, I feel like everyone else is judging me/the work I do, and more recently when I hear unexpected noises or just loudness in general I get quite flustered, my heart beats very fast and mostly uneven and I can feel these sharp, fast and really unpleasant pains shooting through my chest and heart and somethings if I think about it enough I feel it almost as if it’s shooting down my veins to my hands- to the point I can’t clench them into fists anymore because they feel weak. And I also feel this if made to talk about myself or trying to talk about my feelings.

I’m sorry this is such a long post-borderline-rant but I’m just confused and don’t know where to go. I’ve been to a counsellor about other issues and mentioned my doctor experience and the councillor said basically I shouldn’t go down that root if I didn’t like the fact of doctors or whatever so... yeah I’m just confused and in pain and I feel like I’m going crazy... I’d love some advice or maybe even if there’s a professional in here somewhere who can advise on what’s going on? Or some next steps?

So sorry for the rant,
Mock.",3.860392241379312,5.109523696551727,4.95661997126437,83.73803340517243,71.80459770114942,8.196120689655173,26.00754310344828,8.660442795831766,1.7038749999999996,1708,54,351,30,32,562,205,435,0.14400000000000002,0.763,0.093,-0.978,0,0,3,2,0,0,48.0,1,0,8,8,25,22,1,2,11,2,27,20,6,4,4,83,72,44,0,8,23,0,12,6,0,3,13,3,0,0,24,22,0,0,18,0,0,10,12,11,0,1,9,18,44,11,49,57,8,44,0,0,1,1,20,21,0,24,19,220,68,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277846349033182,0.0,0.0,0.07457836829297541,0.0,0.0,0.059559558202523774,0.1239423434557878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386157845648739,0.0,0.0,0.12257712577310804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699739787331979,0.0,0.06218552677467955,0.045400738115869206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559300383607695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286923563196707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443263934165925,0.0,0.0,0.07695507402749004,0.0,0.049191627167238745,0.06736908163438766,0.06275043046069033,0.14233271462548902,0.0,0.14570639696483415,0.07021067422135899,0.0,0.3765801650262898,0.15962003064957475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335044725389333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778227460022508,0.0,0.2539633720354496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833200910508774,0.08394145439326862,0.17651217987777848,0.04992063828607849,0.0,0.0,0.07397287335817411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773506663664266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279251103789075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260559753622145,0.21831540438259575,0.07464593115558406,0.0,0.0659101645516131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331803099912896,0.06721877069358016,0.0704723265250082,0.0,0.0,0.14964513841643629,0.08112773374513532,0.0,0.0,0.3002228497058097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744157030029939,0.0,0.07920757090627377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849843146310116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081045214107962,0.0,0.07132877172171771,0.0,0.0,0.07126482337508286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921589358413046,0.0,0.0,0.14313640864864255,0.0,0.07353745776504217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084507246193728,0.0,0.0,0.0753751155011743,0.0,0.06780143726771998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061608483525261624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467269835212605,0.0,0.16674272681285288,0.052715494426276835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019407791407023,0.0,0.05599774380549122,0.11972424267803047,0.13019307885839812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895896422563157,0.14316635198755095,0.0,0.0,0.04342837694561896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505652728475227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958715456996863,0.0,0.0,0.06145166349942755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422044180524945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285871326245122,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blacksandblues,2018/04/08,"What resources are there for people who are feeling homicidal? - (in the UK) I’m just wondering if there are any crisis lines specified for those dealing with homicidal thoughts. The general advice I’ve found online is “go to A&E” which isn’t particularly helpful. Most of what shows up is suicide related as opposed to homicide related but the two are quite different. They can be just as burdening and urgent though.


(Just to clarify, I myself am not. Just curious)",4.574725568942436,7.698211746987956,5.493413654618473,72.10336010709506,76.10843373493975,9.472021419009373,34.52342704149933,9.725611199111238,4.50044953145917,377,21,57,12,9,123,63,83,0.097,0.84,0.063,-0.5998,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,1,7,1,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,16,16,6,1,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,11,13,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,0,45,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26585714551857353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947805134638627,0.0,0.1850123995452872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28048535560486954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842482828734259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756339847172322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983034079006259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461986490134655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823583208645936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861446286114536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893728493014655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975931345170187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673008486137004,0.2159879009009883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657663492444233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950410850240854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Astrosurf96,2018/04/08,"Question on mental health and restricted things Lets say someone had a hard time as a teenager and they had a history of therapy and medication and have attempted suicide in the past, but then later on said person got help and turned their life around and all of a sudden grew an interest in aviation because they found airplanes cool and wanted to become a pilot in order to better understand them.

would that person be able to get a  private pilots license (not flying for airlines, flying for pleasure, flying to fly essentially) ? what about guns? what if they wanted to be a Cop, or a firefighter, or be a teacher or something?  

I feel like a past suicide attempt would raise concerns, but if someone truly did change their life and are much happier would it still affect them? ",11.13396713615023,8.828655119718311,10.176619718309864,64.25417840375589,57.661971830985905,12.565258215962446,42.68075117370892,10.864195022040775,4.790376525821596,625,27,98,11,6,199,95,142,0.07400000000000001,0.73,0.197,0.9721,0,0,1,1,1,2,13.0,0,0,7,3,3,5,0,0,12,1,12,4,0,1,1,29,21,17,2,7,8,0,2,1,0,3,4,2,0,2,5,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,8,5,17,8,2,15,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,6,8,74,13,0,0.14896770174014162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261283753554418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090809328312572,0.16452312277406378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174982645727915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758807602871694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532254597843603,0.1064225558883114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333539594645627,0.0,0.0,0.07782947574407506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914307954012872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344580052058805,0.0,0.0,0.15834570090598826,0.0,0.0,0.09984991037203236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232956789987806,0.21044058647478248,0.07277809442097109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500692873061121,0.15012440577668393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950840122244944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844130547155297,0.0,0.2601457024147531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687791880909186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417023976153223,0.11846509554949827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524397005319161,0.11468261470298548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896579903910212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258929745346854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035754960379187,0.0,0.09896752172732157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686426485120027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203408234087205,0.0,0.1550806311396573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757300202128011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174671436720967,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burbj001,2018/04/08,"Hypersexual Porn addict. fight addiction or should i watch porn to cope? Hi all. I'm now 37 days clean from porn. Had my first ever wet dream woo.

So about 2 months ago I broke up with my gf. Things where mega frisky. Sex about 3 or 4 times a week and porn I watched about 3 or 4 times a day since i was 11 (now 23)

Now I've gone from that to monk mode no porn no touching nothing. Il have to be honest with you guys I'm questioning my ability. Im going insane. Mega horney. Frustrated.

Since I started this journey I have also been diagnosed with (Satyriasis or hypersexuality) as a result of 9 weeks of therepy. And extra 4 weeks added on just for this shit.

So that gives you some idea of my mental state. Don't get me wrong. This is the happiest I've been in years.

I just don't know if I can carry on. Wether I need Porn or masturation. to help me cope with single life. Its been driving me insane. I'm struggling to cope. I am struggling.

Will no fap get me over this hump. Or will porn help me get though life I need advise I can't cope with the urges.

Tl:dr Porn addicted hypersexual. Now single. To watch porn to cope? Or to clear my addiction. And hope I can stop with screaming frustration.",0.012890961262556287,2.3625039715447187,1.9577809660449568,93.91312769010044,92.6178861788618,5.170540411286465,16.99139167862267,6.794906146795322,-0.07684418938307003,931,24,209,14,34,307,138,246,0.155,0.7170000000000001,0.127,-0.7396,0,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,0,2,0,1,15,11,4,2,5,0,18,19,1,1,3,32,32,16,0,5,10,0,2,0,1,3,7,1,1,1,8,9,0,1,3,1,0,4,6,9,0,1,6,6,25,2,29,22,5,29,1,1,3,11,11,6,1,11,18,117,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518592709184952,0.0,0.0,0.11218433721692173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120685889873113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632364157633889,0.0,0.0,0.1284517666661419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447722825485393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764854491692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836099976547114,0.12140413278313722,0.07192474204179197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531042553813052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965575795488874,0.0,0.0,0.12569875234529862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286642037223818,0.13670229359008407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955191695778393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878061717745253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753877171583572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010158630726993,0.0,0.0,0.18767947327577714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143398093072436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177178375024813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990800701810126,0.20937700974557416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957705139510212,0.0,0.0,0.10580655747074004,0.0,0.2646078056420785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407824227886637,0.0,0.1243407151879167,0.0,0.14759174682897236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045469832995088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836921655408946,0.0,0.08149797221205338
mentalhealth,tortillachief147,2018/04/08,"“tireless tornado” can’t seem to keep anything together - don’t know where to go Been suffering from anxiety and depression but it’s gotten to the point where it’s cost me my year and half relationship. I get so anxious about not being good enough for him to the point where I just blow up. Have tried to hurt myself quite a many times. I can’t stay calm or anything and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t focus on school or my job because I’m just so in my head all the time. - tried medication, made the situation worse but my doctor seems to believe not. -want to see therapist but bf doesn’t think I should and I just need to “work harder”. I don’t know anymore. Does anyone have any advice at all? ",1.0642155172413794,3.3589278827586213,2.6740301724137936,92.03242456896551,83.9655172413793,6.107758620689657,20.09698275862069,7.413659706084162,0.5436982758620692,553,16,121,9,16,181,89,145,0.157,0.8220000000000001,0.021,-0.9546,1,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,2,10,5,0,0,5,0,13,3,1,1,2,28,28,11,0,3,11,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,6,0,1,1,9,3,0,1,3,1,15,2,16,23,3,14,0,3,1,0,3,9,0,4,3,76,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611028177951493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167947067037764,0.0,0.11438322703809088,0.1689162758249328,0.1482847469346583,0.1045486249015701,0.0,0.24608623935583726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114667060797232,0.0,0.0,0.16845906987602713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878229847473854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304117463782038,0.1308469162611205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449525877959333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811859993963056,0.0,0.08497628297851399,0.12541119899300393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345177845603722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006542273565488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483766135143589,0.13290121771229202,0.0,0.0,0.2465186475191772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148047365131294,0.0,0.15159092023768966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062677097865593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086799603030977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826915251181025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590340875296294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052969738599066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132332886504374,0.11914895271641272,0.27223677525312656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806797344108773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936959093297964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360551353838405,0.0,0.0958070791231856,0.0,0.0,0.1743739037193143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030300149161864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819141472523705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885313663467487,0.0,0.15237476791159008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628668177693996
mentalhealth,Phase235,2018/04/08,"I feel like I'm not cut out to live like everyone else ? Just about every experience is too enhanced for me to deal with? How bad is this ? I don't mean this in a suicidal way. I mean, I'm really not mean to live like other people. All of it. It's too much and too negative for me. 

You know how they say middle school and high school can be tough on you? Or that you may get lost trying to find your own identity in college? That all families fight every now and then? That it's all part of life? Well just about all those things have emotionally crippled me. I'm straight up internally weak. I feel it all way too much. In Middle & high school I had clinical depression & was suicidal/put on 80 mg of Prozac. Every time my step dad & I fought I stopped eating, or refused to get out of bed, & function like a normal being. I graduated college a year earlier & have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. It's given me anxiety attacks and meltdowns to the point where I've had to go see a mental health counselor and it's embarrassing to admit it even. I get hot flashes and randomly fast heart beats from my current existential crisis. 

And it's not like the good parts of life have happened to me as they're often shown they should. I didn't go to my high school prom, or graduation or my college graduation, or have a sweet 16 or a 21st bday at 1oak. It's only as if the obstacles we're all bound to face in the Western Hemisphere- I feel them all too enhanced and I can't take it. Wtf do I do? 

Is this a disorder? Is this normal? At the same time I'm not some over sensitive pushover that tries to please people and is sweet and soft spoken 24/7. 

But what someone else would describe being 22 as ""a time of figuring out who I am, not being sure of things"" is more of a ""I'm going to have another never ending night of crying and trembling in fear & panicking till I pass out because I lack any worth or purpose in my minuscule, little fickle life"" for me. And I don't know how to express that without sounding like a drama queen. I sincerely can't help but be so over the top about it and I have no idea how to suppress it or if I even should. 

Edit: details 

Thank you for your feedback. Appreciate it.",1.9296240601503736,3.858747701754389,3.678934837092733,88.02421052631578,78.56140350877193,6.886716791979951,23.576441102756892,7.8761006319780495,1.1744809523809527,1736,58,369,29,42,581,218,456,0.122,0.7959999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9209,1,0,0,0,1,0,58.0,0,6,3,4,21,26,5,3,17,0,34,10,2,4,9,79,63,35,1,8,20,1,5,6,0,4,7,2,1,0,29,18,1,4,13,1,1,6,15,13,1,0,7,10,40,13,56,47,16,48,1,2,1,0,19,27,1,14,19,245,69,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4793451862693161,0.0,0.050141715090585376,0.07731663074840545,0.056406383151604914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388318107605047,0.0,0.0,0.0615648919554397,0.044947621766208055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099344436750555,0.0,0.07601661738557319,0.06350707056456283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450566433172926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544838999269005,0.12319075505393473,0.0829409359127683,0.06530652538904848,0.0,0.0,0.09740135265353894,0.0,0.1863724730740438,0.07045609044523382,0.0,0.07212609630902855,0.06950994542859712,0.0829713595505051,0.11184652623307133,0.05267565434462882,0.0,0.0,0.06739162976702966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556906882844893,0.0,0.16761914838751918,0.06184466311258933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520281935161809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837589821311483,0.0,0.08737526114693403,0.04942241164193862,0.2337123684626095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647364339557424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104466389611215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624172198317002,0.21613653498060115,0.07390093683950147,0.1302171188122251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048947806630154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409541458435932,0.0,0.0,0.07430662833999781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840609196946063,0.0,0.05686828194126766,0.0,0.0,0.0691944560890844,0.1444875216191271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056078104115409165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969368559920644,0.0,0.10223587913016996,0.0,0.0,0.08093789767094714,0.0697025555775462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412313398544901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047235951248876175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863631420032615,0.0,0.2984913746102135,0.05875652972088595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247466195999014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164500752312565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065313568463851,0.0,0.06949351475866335,0.0,0.05543886537497656,0.0,0.0,0.06788445095076047,0.0,0.0,0.0979713167446208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898483649474166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012122501863636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705338990674725,0.0,0.0,0.06629580921201456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107703926546667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052378587685234256,0.0,0.0,0.04748234164523165
mentalhealth,enamelpinsandpink,2018/04/08,"where does my medication stop and I begin What do you do to help feel like yourself when you’re going through changes due to tapering on/ off a medication or it’s side effects?
I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this feeling. I’m switching up my meds with my doctor, i’ve done this a million times, and these days I don’t know if what i’m feeling is me or my medication...
I went through a really rough time with some side effects with a drug recently where I truly wasn’t myself, and it’s just like, exhausting. I’m tired of this medication life, but I can’t live without it.
I have severe anxiety, but I was just diagnosed with ADHD and not looking forward to that medication journey.
Anybody else just like, confused and jaded from their experience with trying a bunch of different meds?",4.696363636363635,5.832862261146499,5.9852808338158665,77.57238563983788,69.70063694267515,9.021192819918936,32.10712217718587,9.339509955726095,2.9273872611464973,633,28,120,13,11,213,94,157,0.092,0.7879999999999999,0.12,0.3096,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,2,6,6,0,1,6,0,10,11,0,2,1,31,22,11,0,1,10,0,4,3,0,0,11,0,0,0,10,10,0,1,6,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,4,5,15,4,19,18,3,19,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,6,12,81,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482591203417145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855287076064052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628267012092454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308323656713157,0.0,0.0,0.13075744731933328,0.0,0.13459757182396884,0.0,0.13186065383620485,0.11273802603432642,0.13183550910284714,0.0,0.0,0.14939928175227238,0.0,0.1076190484426647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601825273760625,0.0,0.0,0.19541753306976287,0.0920345653240252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321577517053486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635052054544944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708003584038151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909948447538965,0.18881618363426106,0.0,0.11375725728267205,0.0,0.10818285800481603,0.0,0.0,0.10952474015566503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28619716062422623,0.6489019884186615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893129360549102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825303509741868,0.0,0.12720185429542544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455386802052683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770576165354537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141862314244745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024098587072687,0.1480685392258998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746558100648161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942460840993842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418534700144485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,icareaboutkarma333,2018/04/08,"should I get help or am I just being edgy? Throwaway account. I'm very young (15), but since I was 12 I started noticing how much different I am compared to normal people. I have been doing research on my problems every time the difference between me and normal people starts weighing too much on my back. I suffer from 95% of the symptoms listed on Wikipedia for AvPD(Avoidant Personality Disorder), I took 4 online tests just to be sure and the result was always positive. However, I don't know if I have this illness or if I'm just an edgy teenager. I wanted to know what do you think about it. Convincing my parents to make me get therapy(we don't have economic problems, and I can't take my absurd social-retardedness anymore) will be also hard since they will probably think I'm being edgy. What to do?

",5.935779220779223,6.828231019480526,6.583532467532468,75.29101298701299,66.72727272727272,9.017142857142858,33.581818181818186,9.120678840339163,3.083256623376623,643,28,111,11,10,211,97,154,0.115,0.8,0.085,-0.6954,3,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,0,8,5,0,0,4,0,21,3,0,3,1,25,36,10,0,8,8,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,4,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,4,1,20,2,13,25,2,9,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,4,5,79,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355297947274185,0.12855573713899354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322172229397096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880037222164648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32283762650203424,0.1770695042858092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017226588975706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143894329493294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384009645267987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035575780541077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698174740661309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031294366166103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271494238687022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027528868142138,0.0,0.17589839887919453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171553112636718,0.0,0.0,0.2142206274687085,0.13490276948111454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657630250106906,0.2956697976049488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556067214085164,0.0,0.0,0.15749250979034815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187107022721076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561369710189795,0.16058385804732173,0.11616419429092645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19799373805692733,0.0,0.0,0.09008974423636992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716543307676651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747804631278958,0.09112764957340573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FeatheredDrake,2018/04/08,"'I really want to do activity X' And then you proceed to do activity X just to realize that you don't enjoy it the way you imagined you would enjoy it. Then you're like, let's do something else, and you proceed to activity Y, just to realize that you don't enjoy activity Y either.

 

Basically, this has been my life for the past few months. My brain will always tell me that I would really like to play a certain game, and I'm literally excited about it and when I start the game I end up not really feeling the way my brain pictured it would feel like to play the game. I get this with music a lot too. I'll remember about a song that I used to love and feel the need to go back to it, only to be disappointed because I can't connect with it anymore. Happened with shows and movies as well. 

I hate it how my brain perceives things in a different way than they are, only to give me a glimmer of hope and then take it away from me. I can literally like new stuff I've just discovered, but when it comes to my past, I just can't connect with anything. It almost feels like my past has been removed and there's nothing I can connect to anymore. In my head and heart, I still like those things, but when I experience them, I don't like them. Wtf if this. ",4.5205384615384645,4.631414861538462,5.951346153846156,81.33740384615386,69.61538461538461,9.423076923076923,29.711538461538463,9.354420925462401,2.3231153846153845,984,35,213,19,16,335,123,260,0.044,0.8170000000000001,0.139,0.964,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,6,3,0,15,19,1,0,11,0,21,7,5,2,1,43,39,20,0,7,9,0,4,7,0,4,1,1,0,0,21,14,0,0,9,7,0,3,6,2,1,0,2,5,33,17,29,31,3,27,0,1,0,1,15,4,0,4,24,147,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601004385094667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880894391059957,0.11470634799761488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20998231391474104,0.0,0.0,0.08711913907316032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946509589470624,0.08140483176782383,0.0,0.0645352579935967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35454620048417457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119464707567328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106079980317313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843790669486135,0.0,0.09376632842933114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355778682986023,0.0,0.0,0.2141172070217789,0.1512621495657359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531089580754989,0.10155682841254164,0.060166392351753285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361742854057004,0.0,0.0,0.10452128711361452,0.10864960887962942,0.0,0.0,0.12545235540391936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514935802395656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825570618289383,0.07477666553004167,0.36204729524055196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000394345454596,0.09554868243885073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845016593573811,0.0,0.0,0.0784986953371315,0.0,0.10224656058583732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158179694642468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103254297652336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30318476422877394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346244232510055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992614833386188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150123191928489,0.0,0.0,0.07493287938133014,0.0,0.08454515275100798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119185587205758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959846014669844,0.0,0.09253201910136548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406660453577071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143469659621076,0.0,0.0,0.06244282609721175,0.2520957868232377,0.0,0.0,0.09518673031568868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256136500740153,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Erinelephant,2018/04/08,"Am I really experiencing panic attacks? Could it be something else? I have googled this extensively so I know that it’s common for people with anxiety to think they have some underlying neurological or health disorder. And I guess I fit into that category. Let me explain my symptoms and I’ll let you decide what else could be wrong with me because I don’t believe what I’m experiencing is panic. 
My first episode was in high school (I’m now in my 4th year of university). I remember sitting in my biology class, and feeling a weird feeling in my throat like I couldn’t swallow. The room felt like it was spinning, my heart was pounding, I got sweaty and had to look down at my desk or I felt like I was going to have a seizure. This lasted about 20 seconds, and then I’d breathe and be okay. The more this happened, the more the episodes came in “waves.” I would feel better for a couple seconds then immediately feel it happening again, and sometimes this would happen for the entire class. When class was be over, I’d get up and continue with my day as if nothing had happened. 
By the end of my first year in University, I couldn’t take it anymore. I constantly skipped class because this was the only place it ever happened, so I made an appointment with my doctor and was prescribed Zoloft. Now I don’t experience these episodes nearly as often, but instead I feel super “out of it.” I feel like I’m in a dream 24/7. I can’t concentrate, I am fidgety and spacey. When I exercise, I can barely breathe and sweat profusely then get exhausted and feel like I’m walking on clouds. I eat well, go to counselling, have had blood tests done, and everything is pretty normal except my RBC count being slightly below normal. 
Another thing I should probably mention is that the panic episodes started when I started birth control, and I’ve been on it since. No idea if the two things are related, but they could be.
Does anyone have any clue as to what might be going on with me? I don’t want to be on Zoloft for the rest of my life, and I don’t know why I’d have panic attacks when no one else in my family ever has. It just seems super random to me. But maybe I just have to accept that. Any insight would be greatly appreciated! ",4.631853170189097,5.866902273563223,5.534534668149799,80.3757063403782,69.94252873563218,8.279569892473116,30.124212087504638,8.654491914285503,2.299975157582499,1759,70,339,29,31,577,213,435,0.08800000000000001,0.799,0.113,0.8729,0,0,1,0,0,1,47.0,0,1,2,6,17,21,2,4,15,1,53,17,6,2,2,73,90,34,0,14,10,0,9,5,0,5,9,0,1,0,24,23,2,1,19,2,0,5,9,9,1,6,17,12,48,12,48,52,4,56,0,0,1,0,5,25,0,10,30,241,72,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570968791123744,0.08150017297969242,0.05945848829049522,0.0,0.0770811168523628,0.05434628267156063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684406838760156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475940463293647,0.0,0.0,0.08756809798971601,0.0,0.06874037804030353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889531241762119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399180748073869,0.08717384193590616,0.1861683708777029,0.08599989773461793,0.0,0.05012541603746107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907819953007715,0.079553594751582,0.06801661432203193,0.07953842454068527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953084318240743,0.19478476524149999,0.0,0.06884021024182944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406112396245576,0.0,0.0,0.0698531327666303,0.07602878279401762,0.07327107404193868,0.0,0.27509639271034025,0.11105178534940943,0.1492540584526524,0.0,0.0,0.1322236358732435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121494698228142,0.0,0.1325166667512858,0.0,0.062162816822609226,0.08569075528507912,0.08562151976160559,0.0,0.3436544637603796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261675657587239,0.0,0.09210306797761987,0.0,0.08211945378728289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774070081667873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542992707620535,0.06335526429602112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895568693669684,0.054898612993582806,0.18985959443265946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652684102072914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354413145844317,0.0,0.0,0.07808399604850448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245266093082587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230562805672654,0.0745780748342413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266765309949956,0.05911244633320116,0.0,0.3647684944613916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388389117053979,0.0,0.08120482017882244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907303887091824,0.08379939375230915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04979185151214213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804590521018406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866062717748562,0.0,0.07075682131366964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429392407996204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983557247333391,0.07687081787397347,0.0,0.11002660031685343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078478000006074,0.058438618886036416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032724678305968,0.049802267689960066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592485126668516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584350639116429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988302343631682,0.0,0.07013363329427595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563825591429895,0.08497876548091743,0.0,0.10010314779907924
mentalhealth,seekinghelp246,2018/04/08,"Looking for a good therapist in or near Northeast Arkansas Title says it all. So far, my experience with the mental health facilities in my own town have been pretty awful. ",7.439032258064515,8.65483241935484,8.345322580645162,62.83798387096778,63.516129032258064,11.361290322580645,34.854838709677416,11.20814326018867,4.5085354838709675,139,6,21,4,2,47,29,31,0.083,0.748,0.16899999999999998,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,5,2,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565551308904624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057288981301148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874510070017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060917943079885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36733458414663106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708318966635532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898684353448709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232175658121548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotYourTypicalGuy_,2018/04/08,"Want to start researches for self-therapy, but have queries. I won't really touch much upon the current issues that im facing,
but I'm really looking forward to start researching over a few topics
and fields but don't know what framework to follow, which path to take and where to begin from.

i) Neuroscience; how the brain works in context of feelings, emotions, stress, depression, happiness

ii) Neurogenesis

iii) Anxiety/Depression causes, cures,

iv) Pathways to cure depression and further neurogenesis APART FROM meditation

v) Easy and motivating ways to maintain journals/organize thoughts effectively and develop helpful inferences from them.

vi) More about independancy/dependancy on others during severe cases of depression.

vii) Hormonal secretions and functions in context of above mentioned stuff.

viii) More into psychology to be able to effectively self-therapy.

Thanks! ",7.594095238095237,11.43635974285714,7.941428571428574,54.75023809523813,69.42857142857143,11.447619047619051,39.333333333333336,10.793553405168565,6.322961904761906,724,42,85,27,15,236,104,140,0.132,0.691,0.177,0.7574,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,4,3,6,0,1,3,0,4,3,2,6,0,21,16,10,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,8,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,3,3,2,23,13,4,16,0,3,1,0,4,10,0,0,5,53,8,4,0.1529294187842015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071980815856042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571006394385643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5268715372366409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202501239519571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773257091521909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279621000676975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025053657972545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519001510695808,0.1596185809003396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404600911398033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842219552040096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242071909083892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594100330946154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190774729177083,0.17276671359773124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164884594777131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17518013252273176,0.0,0.17506759646502892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498389062472322,0.0,0.0,0.14079686210109296,0.3497762366214767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140887613281165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902017334635363,0.12138825435238446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133443825548577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,natsukibee,2018/04/08,"friend making fun of my behavior???? ill start off with this: im not going to cut them off because they mean a lot to me, and actually care about me. 
the problem is, im mentally ill and my friend knows but they actually dont realize its the part of my behavior(i guess). whenever they say shit like; ""cutting is SOOOO cringey haha' or assumpting that my sad posts on my blog are making me an angsty teenager. it just makes me feel guilty about posting vent posts online and super shitty about my illness.
it also can be myself thinking that they are making fun of me while theyre not(its also part of my illness i guess) because i often feel like everyone are making fun of me and that they hate me and i feel super bad about this. 
i know, i cant justify my ill behavior. but i really feel like some people are mocking me for being sad. ",4.0996787148594365,5.296394168674702,5.301385542168674,81.69296184738957,71.16867469879517,8.424899598393575,27.68875502008032,8.841846274778883,2.1123309236947785,656,23,128,12,12,218,92,166,0.243,0.564,0.193,-0.9202,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,6,2,8,21,5,0,4,1,11,6,1,5,0,31,30,11,0,1,5,0,4,3,2,0,5,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,9,1,0,1,3,9,0,0,0,5,29,12,16,28,4,9,0,2,0,0,9,3,1,6,5,86,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.24026438457221286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689318004092665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278707976269058,0.1500866691025927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551319869178149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427750711275042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763158446868208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489812499288193,0.17589169777451005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19022039666088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996310002270656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712268772540298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154016518191235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659478774138448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530998053662766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042785876049655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465900733310177,0.0,0.0,0.4108659058228815,0.0,0.0,0.13409684329992588,0.0,0.0,0.12406033847355932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26662026161215946,0.0,0.08534513038995978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537001226137508,0.0,0.0,0.1177943400088926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886386761141394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789760549017867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636495635225006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713396848685473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888036549296491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skaikruu,2018/04/08,"I need help with my depression but I can’t tell my parents So I’ve been suffering from depression for awhile now but I’ve never tried to get help. A couple days ago all of the issues I had just overwhelmed me and I tried to cut myself again, but I found my way to keep those thoughts out of my head. I talked to my friends and my boyfriend and they all agree that I should tell my parents so I can get therapy. But the issue is that they don’t believe in that. I come from a country where mental health is not important at all, so they will just think that I’m sad and that’s it. In order to convince them I will need to tell them the stories of sexual and emotional abuse that I had to go through, my suicide thoughts and cuts. And they will think I’m crazy. I don’t know if I should wait till college (I’m a junior) or just talk to them to see if they actually help me or lock me up in a hospital. ",2.618971132494448,3.4702495388601067,3.7874648408586222,92.46218911917101,74.33678756476685,7.37957068837898,25.18467801628423,7.7094869923839395,0.9812667653589936,703,22,167,9,14,229,99,193,0.184,0.711,0.105,-0.9663,2,0,0,0,1,2,13.0,0,0,8,0,9,9,2,1,7,0,14,2,1,0,4,38,32,19,1,6,12,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,8,10,0,2,6,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,6,1,33,2,24,21,3,17,0,5,1,0,19,7,0,4,6,115,41,2,0.0,0.16139433138248396,0.13292769832505927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207477481955705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534693999407352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173384919725422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507210160239682,0.0,0.08784840253070572,0.0,0.23464622100135854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322527873854325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935441059840227,0.10524056467058623,0.0,0.14233504513313885,0.0,0.07741500156390517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979747351577898,0.14479181742919622,0.0,0.0,0.2739092361243039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843493653599445,0.0,0.12107552385697334,0.0,0.0,0.07486105069283189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372742387606063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020056840623074,0.10505859689113277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025047058846068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085469502497655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899879125325646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189713979588368,0.35717779262369725,0.0,0.15577549045403002,0.0,0.0,0.17456412354562376,0.0,0.21628144218989015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849641849624136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081223529634156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LaughsBrazilianly,2018/04/08,My brother is slipping into insanity—what should I do?! My older brother has been showing the tell-tale signs of paranoid schizophrenia for a few months now. He thinks there’s a cult of Russian hackers/superhuman demons watching him. Recently he’s convinced himself they are watching him through the light bulbs so he keeps taking them all out of the fixtures. Now he’s convinced himself that me and my parents are in on the conspiracy. He thinks we tip them off on what he’s doing. Nothing you say can clear his suspicions. It’s getting really scary. He’s mentioned things like a “day of reckoning” and fighting for his life. I’m afraid we’re getting close to a point where he may try to hurt us. I’ve started sleeping with my bedroom door locked at night. What can I do? Who should I call? We’re clueless who we should call or what can we do to get started on getting him help. He’s an adult so we can’t force him to go seek professional help. If we try to talk to him about seeing a professional and getting on some medication then he flips his shit and start yelling about how we’re in on the conspiracy. Any direction or advice you could provide would be so very much appreciated!,3.6743506493506497,5.767824346320349,4.290257575757575,84.87538636363638,73.93506493506493,6.871082251082251,30.16471861471861,7.7348632917899725,1.9689305627705629,948,43,183,13,20,301,137,231,0.117,0.8,0.083,-0.8472,1,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,6,2,3,0,10,7,2,1,11,0,20,4,2,1,2,31,35,12,0,6,3,3,0,1,0,5,2,2,2,1,8,13,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,6,29,3,27,27,4,26,1,1,3,0,45,14,1,5,12,115,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054822946347046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476787872675501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146303628342688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300648242855647,0.0,0.0,0.09935765798401527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024568553917272,0.0,0.08755734909954667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065298811551259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492724329653102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693795382803758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881899931836457,0.0752672242541631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520190231961908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297132998418155,0.0,0.1132537676082642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445773518318704,0.0,0.1478272588690152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106833044193573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563899293234184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869647264846672,0.0,0.1521182714614817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251679552694685,0.0,0.0,0.12276797810130292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814308676562422,0.0,0.0,0.15417390292265354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271389901858137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583593249376092,0.12382971482646625,0.13465753858030818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023523727983544,0.19743423880090605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919684023126192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531838756077504,0.0,0.0,0.12711781334395422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944167969866027,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Koto3,2018/04/08,"Unable to talk / Personality problem Hi all, really hoping it's a right place to post this and it won't be too long :D
Not sure how to describe it but many times I have problems with talking to people. Other times on the contrary. One particular pattern that repeats itself constantly is school. I'm at uni now, 2nd year, before there were 3 years of high school, 3 years of secondary school, 6 years of primary school and kindergarten. Every time I had the same problem which was that I would go mute in school. I would just stand not talking to anyone, feeling like my mind switched off more than the reason being shyness. Thing is I'm not a shy person, inside I think I'm quite talkative, laughing and joking a lot type and my friends also portray me as this kind of person. My classmates though would describe me as quiet, always on the side. I basically do not feel like talking to them but sometimes I have moments when I would love to talk with them and socialize but can't because I think they would think I'm even a bigger weirdo.
Not sure if that makes sense but it's hard to explain and hard to control. Sometimes it's like I was a different person earlier and then I kind of wake up and want to be myself but still decide to not because I'm afraid to creep them out. 
If it helps, I can add is I started to think something changed in me at one point when I was in kindergarten. At one point I got sick, might have been pox, and stayed home for few months, don't remember exactly. When I came back I couldn't interact with children the way I used to. Teachers described me as weird (f.ex. pretending to be a dog or stuff like that, but I guess children do it a lot) and my family picked this up which continued for next years. Everyone was mentioning this behaviours since then and I kind of assumed I am like that and couldn't behave as I used to. Stopped interacting normally with friends, family, sometimes I was scared to talk to them. In my teens I was diagnosed with depression but not sure if it's linked. 
Does anyone feel the same or heard / had any experience with that?",3.9963951711491466,5.6480975721271385,4.454834199266504,85.88843711797068,72.0562347188264,7.557487775061126,27.695675427872853,8.17850203761792,1.7647878361858191,1653,61,327,25,32,522,203,409,0.101,0.7759999999999999,0.123,0.8853,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,5,2,13,24,0,2,13,0,35,4,1,7,5,86,60,36,0,16,20,0,5,5,2,7,2,2,1,6,24,21,0,2,13,2,0,2,12,7,0,3,13,7,39,17,50,34,7,51,0,1,0,1,28,20,0,11,30,217,63,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514079548128912,0.05737348981609549,0.0,0.0,0.04688964452480318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642551883621843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05301974145609375,0.0,0.08406485510299272,0.0,0.058672973416342276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886258452836607,0.0,0.0,0.07294194893565488,0.0,0.0,0.07451248932026933,0.07733539926195344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059388155315474235,0.06998470925804816,0.0,0.07204004149710057,0.0,0.0,0.06034025698796296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045542068055595485,0.0,0.058094934831957185,0.06588647854617746,0.0,0.06744817186213614,0.13000339642141018,0.0,0.10459243061247993,0.09851847719484197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654410667212576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03918694379142175,0.0,0.05514711926725395,0.0,0.07595827221940571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353468628523075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621699336096527,0.07285144952636577,0.06916436008726096,0.06848477732384421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154083249012224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684320343476169,0.0,0.0,0.061020246176450126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724084942768935,0.06223176596970317,0.0,0.04602591695355805,0.06990638637543432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314705090070671,0.06962174529936302,0.0,0.05503673472991713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333110922450525,0.0,0.06755820492728573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017074010462516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780255343713303,0.24082449661875585,0.07204004149710057,0.0,0.13036363226096115,0.0,0.06603684332353113,0.0,0.0,0.19793291804013705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333881443742829,0.0,0.0,0.04417234150944715,0.07089401907538796,0.0,0.0,0.07810904144635497,0.058884530863108776,0.0,0.0,0.06903286308266059,0.3489149310087295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057037709689305126,0.0,0.0,0.07028776083947395,0.0,0.05308252779193892,0.20458552450564935,0.0,0.0488044972894241,0.07349353234868643,0.05506506239100392,0.05764686118666298,0.0,0.0,0.07893340880854748,0.0,0.0,0.1949589995830464,0.0,0.0,0.33252546756039064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580856685379624,0.17672632846837305,0.06774487441641265,0.0,0.12061919145370201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910457569580375,0.0,0.0,0.040669606748952015,0.05473079484053291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24490719482120485,0.0,0.0,0.22201375809821527
mentalhealth,interupted_mess,2018/04/08,"I think my SO mentally abused me into showing symptoms of bpd I am pretty sure I have always struggled with anger, depression, and anxiety. Now, I find I am displaying all the traits of someone with borderline personality disorder but only in my relationship.

I am a female in her 20’s and have been with my girlfriend for all of my 20’s.

In the beginning of the relationship, I did not know how to be a girlfriend. This was my first real relationship.

I “cheated” on my gf and always admitted to it when she would find out by going through my phone or I would just flat out tell her.

Most of our relationship I was controlled by her. She separated me from every friend I had when I met her because according to her they all wanted to fuck me. Not only that, any one who saw her toxic ways and tried to help me out of the relationship I would basically have to cut off.

We just recently started living together a few years ago, not something I wanted to do but more of an ultimatum from her if I wanted to be with her.

Before living together she would expect me to come visit her everyday and spend any free time I had with her. I lost all my friends, and have not made new ones since.

She started her job, in the same company I work for, when she moved in with me. Since then she has grown as a person, making friends and going away on the weekends.

This is when my shit comes in. I feel like she’s cheating on me and go fucking crazy when she leaves. She won’t call/text hardly any while she’s gone but when she comes back she is ready to text and call at any given moment.

I feel that I lived up to all her expectations while she was mentally unstable and now that she has grown out of that or what not I have so many issues because I feel a prisoner to the relationship and blah blah blah.

Idk if this is even the right place to post now that I see what I wrote.",4.714458443854998,5.148817071618037,5.779220822281167,81.60669153404069,69.26525198938992,9.254155614500444,28.175176834659595,9.2995712137729,2.1426800176834666,1464,47,307,28,24,487,178,377,0.13699999999999998,0.782,0.081,-0.9603,1,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,2,0,1,4,16,16,7,1,14,0,28,4,1,4,6,71,57,31,0,11,14,0,4,4,6,5,1,0,0,2,12,26,0,1,8,2,2,11,6,10,0,3,14,6,70,7,53,36,9,58,0,2,2,2,52,20,3,5,26,231,82,2,0.0,0.09545081138955164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141186707118345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406528732521586,0.0,0.0,0.21913513317544192,0.0,0.06162842785463864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568907689324998,0.061945916964473775,0.0,0.09821765234658636,0.0,0.06855090272964326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146290874995947,0.0,0.1645221973056851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208186759164351,0.0,0.0,0.0903552542794377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938648957562607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232911146915307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320933464940703,0.0,0.06787554805670068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220116213125184,0.057552312027321924,0.0,0.0,0.1472613545151843,0.06852457099380052,0.0,0.0,0.1867221209602951,0.14895344401597302,0.0,0.0,0.13735286703756164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216622722683701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053997887474740616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408404870611341,0.07994369155400853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427384759363776,0.0,0.0,0.08530175181270425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03935770536525576,0.0,0.21340872780095427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879411108266644,0.0,0.0,0.07622812705184866,0.05377464226565337,0.08167552475307979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623717185150775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562287583687248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780566355100317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091795218020875,0.12253951416855115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068433625718912,0.08416839286913831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715452208500469,0.08195881212947725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169528635232606,0.0,0.0,0.07954360172278897,0.5189498388912365,0.0,0.06879807707773898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419614856637944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826940155711834,0.13328066607730946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825850164857876,0.06201927373762948,0.0,0.0,0.11404202485925473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421914284688305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592715259119913,0.0837330233096838,0.0,0.0,0.07041327458493586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051619803152962766,0.0,0.0,0.046975373152913405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469517231937172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254970017543322,0.06394503593343412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864887581469611,0.0,0.0,0.2289109729734889,0.0,0.0,0.0518782078011893
mentalhealth,IWantToRapeMyCrush,2018/04/08,"I found the perfect girl, and now I’m obsessed with her Her name is Kiernan Shipka, an 18 year old American actress. She is incredibly beautiful, well spoken, smart, humble and mature for her age. She resembles Emma Watson alot, just younger, kinder and more attractive. I’ve been obsessed over many girls in the past, but I finally found the perfect one. Kiernan is the most beautiful girl in the world, and I want her so bad. She apparently has a black belt in Taekwondo, which is surprising considering you need over 10 years of experience to get a black belt. And now she practices Muay Thai, so she has no problems defending herself from creeps like me.

She’s so pure and innocent. She even smiles at the paparazzi and answers their questions, instead of getting annoyed and angry, like many other celebrities would. Last night I spent 30 minutes searching for high quality pictures of her feet and face. I couldn’t help it because of how beautiful she is. What’s wrong with me? 

I was just browsing GoneWild and can’t help but laugh at those sluts who think they’re hot. Just imagine if Kiernan posted nudes on GoneWild, her posts would be the most upvoted on the subreddit because of how sexy she is. All those sluts would be so jealous of her body. Heh. No matter how innocent Kiernan is, everyone is hiding a naughty side of themselves. I bet she does have nudes on her phone. Hopefully they get hacked and leaked. Bloody hell, I get erect just thinking about that. Her future boyfriend is so lucky. He’s going to have sex with the perfect girl. 

I honestly get depressed just by looking at her. She and I are nearly the same age, yet I’m a failure who hasn’t achieved anything in my life. I’m so worthless. My social anxiety and selective mutism is holding me back. I can’t even get a part time job. I stopped going to school in 9th grade after the first semester because of bullying and depression, and I never returned. So I’ve never even been to college. Right now I’m at home all day, living with my mother and wasting my life doing nothing. I see no future ahead of me. 

I’m going to become furious when Kiernan gets a boyfriend, and loses her virginity to him. When it happens, perhaps I’ll buy a gun and find her at a fan meeting or the red carpet. Then I’ll end her life right there, because she refused to accept my love. I don’t care about the consequences. My life is already ruined, so I have nothing to lose. ",4.205521778584391,6.15720609482759,4.608743194192378,83.76847096188749,72.10344827586206,7.470417422867515,30.96052631578948,8.20500826718156,2.34067327586207,1924,87,356,30,38,607,245,464,0.204,0.612,0.183,-0.9462,2,0,0,1,0,0,59.0,0,1,2,8,31,34,4,2,23,1,31,14,5,3,8,70,59,36,0,9,9,1,1,2,0,3,4,0,2,4,10,22,0,3,9,1,3,3,10,17,1,2,6,6,56,17,45,47,8,55,1,6,5,7,47,21,1,9,31,231,66,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555150953381308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317154178570934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871131988572655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354849716937747,0.0798632674628769,0.23322798594582636,0.1056372656838618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624493906640428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752095477744477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061685960736029326,0.0,0.16476540447606006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370344891164376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471699273007342,0.0,0.0,0.18952661243633348,0.0,0.0,0.09139711639044276,0.0,0.09356348297907163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477926042220342,0.08742183380649819,0.08135934477587499,0.0,0.2097492963450438,0.0,0.0,0.34981010620326314,0.0,0.16307930284269706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845824630859572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822357529604328,0.10105886000428872,0.0959441634831861,0.09500145253102303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491728688658586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796704057008506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702400461317865,0.0934589468845809,0.0,0.08446018711015604,0.0,0.08032141990285142,0.2140144616845866,0.0,0.0,0.08632733275507172,0.0,0.0,0.19394699103588736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092283033357816,0.14754145314238504,0.0,0.0,0.08976049787581197,0.0,0.18355638953921324,0.0,0.10036797260801976,0.0,0.06481452001767969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357899705544048,0.09130819096535987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321140205021244,0.0,0.0,0.09152357381358298,0.0,0.0,0.10714923682925012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336815806964727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680231593320844,0.07622020114460668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975025346629595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996719505548397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257656782308494,0.0,0.0,0.055773943928361575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056416504017320214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600031242805034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038398034058763,0.10457762159888162,0.0,0.12319017641812903
mentalhealth,bigpanel,2018/04/08,"As a friend/3rd party, how can I best handle a roommate who may be going through a manic episode? Preface: My roommate, after a week+ long episode, is now receiving professional treatment in a local mental health/mental crisis facility.

However, this is the 2nd roommate of mine in the past year and a half to experience (what I best know as) a manic episode. How can I best support or help a friend/roommate who is experiencing manic episode? After getting family and medical professionals involved and hiding their keys and dumping any available alcohol and other substances?

Should I hold conversation and make them feel comfortable? as in brush off the obviously absurd thoughts (2nd coming of Jesus, every song is made for me, I can control reality, etc)?

Should I try and be sort of an anchor? As in being very up front in saying that ""You are not OK, you need help"", ""What you are experiencing is not real, come down to earth"", ""I think you are experiencing a manic episode"", etc.

I know these situations are not always cut and dry, but do you have any other tips? I am pretty stressed and anxious as I never expected this to two different roommates within a year and a half.


I am going to see my counselor at the soonest possible slot this week.",7.1641729323308265,7.913365166666669,7.7368671679198,68.59973684210527,64.0,10.023057644110276,36.02255639097744,9.957137785484203,3.781787218045113,990,45,162,20,14,328,134,228,0.058,0.843,0.098,0.8423,2,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,5,2,4,3,9,2,1,16,1,22,2,0,5,2,37,37,19,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,11,12,1,2,5,1,0,6,4,3,0,3,2,8,22,6,26,29,5,27,1,0,1,0,15,11,0,3,10,124,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987389224212826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890496120012794,0.0,0.0,0.1780095627450888,0.0,0.0,0.14786029176725954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120602213653913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254878587542188,0.0,0.0,0.1467961715945103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674465243870124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919378032202425,0.0,0.0,0.11027439056048738,0.0,0.0,0.1280284773195863,0.1233846406113739,0.0,0.06617826824543674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223942870518927,0.0,0.06838085272194165,0.0,0.14876740483578316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912227917877626,0.0,0.0,0.17545594262772102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385951055828938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582714531693455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384445496024503,0.08736527473044463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185063544703635,0.1318990624469923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704792602509713,0.10094487179129423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494242715094173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475506736106007,0.0,0.13315484467380825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489732622317134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408324319308644,0.0,0.0,0.10429663350304456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711773313950371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499257870179135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852423240329155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386440325741644,0.0,0.10390631085297407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886081905491337,0.0,0.12785346208586984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799200406398253,0.0,0.0,0.2099725494077732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856844364239976
mentalhealth,lsp6693,2018/04/08,"Hoping for some insight... I am mid twenties female from the US and I have some reasons for concern as of late. I’ve always had issues with my mental health throughout my formative years but every time I was sent to a therapist by an adult I pretended as though I was fine which I’m quite good at and got essentially a clean bill of health. I however am not and had not been fine. 

The symptoms I’ve had are extreme anxiety with no trigger needed sometimes I’m just sitting on my couch watching the office and I’m overcome with anxiety. 

I also have had irritably over very small unimportant things, bouts of sadness where I cry and isolate myself, as well as moments of extreme happiness. 

The last symptom and most concerning one is the depersonalization which I’ve always had but recently it’s become more intense, and it is terrifying. 

These symptoms are affecting my job, health, and relationship. I am 99% sure it is borderline personality disorder, however what I am seeking insight for is that I have finally out of fear I’m loosing my mind scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist and I’m trying to figure out how to express my complex life and current issues with this stranger as I hate appearing weak or not normal but I desperately need this help as I find myself not sleeping every night drowning in sadness or anger or anxiety or out of body out of mind. ",5.960056204063988,7.4080065642023385,6.8289169909208844,71.53293882403807,67.01556420233463,9.757803718115005,36.06766104626027,9.994966539143718,3.9548125378296586,1105,56,184,26,18,367,145,257,0.194,0.6940000000000001,0.112,-0.98,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,1,6,13,2,1,10,0,21,10,2,4,1,51,33,26,1,4,12,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,2,2,11,19,0,0,6,1,1,2,5,6,1,1,10,1,23,7,34,23,4,24,0,2,1,0,7,11,0,9,10,132,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125693717101244,0.1899040051827248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261890729126328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602996491850765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267549463404325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534888792549234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078454842990944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922919599414541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840999330921904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250063264105751,0.10429814305036254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571342231248464,0.09126740291299963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147649171269465,0.0,0.11266396546040625,0.0,0.3638935876068397,0.0,0.0,0.07648821934035879,0.0,0.0,0.11334096591938975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23821076939230795,0.11324055255534544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301815343511703,0.12872558022830144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060210408013248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500008797808906,0.0,0.2304452513267104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922819349777327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708827349063592,0.11180750674022674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732661036952601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963995697448684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137430232728424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732821385862215,0.11267382374062128,0.12251574694264596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419642753243725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286167946951907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755110936518036,0.35582446753709235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132495167628547,0.07581228146571664,0.0,0.11211644109077996,0.0,0.0665408002673442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747592605691878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726511046509046,0.0,0.0,0.0941560139843991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026022047060964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348568477124744
mentalhealth,nezxmi,2018/04/08,"The world is trying its hardest to get rid of me, and I've honestly tried everything there is to fix myself. I see a therapist every other week. Take my meds every day. I locked myself up in a psych ward for a month. Yet nobody has a diagnosis for me, nobody knows what's wrong with me. I've been living like this for 4 years. I wake up every morning feeling suicidal for no. damn. reason. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get easier. At least not for me. I can't go on like this.",-0.4751343705799158,1.7544697821782194,2.2948585572843,91.45903465346537,93.75247524752476,5.261951909476663,15.135077793493636,6.868970318607317,-0.0820387553041022,372,8,80,6,14,129,70,101,0.168,0.74,0.092,-0.8289,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,5,0,7,1,1,1,0,6,15,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,2,11,4,14,14,1,12,0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,7,50,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179647023697505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099843293630664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5134231991260165,0.0,0.18255511178763356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027057990602529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183723436150549,0.0,0.11544027664121302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163185722470767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984726417433713,0.0,0.17936256524047905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562541555720986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621319569208533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884571192463725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186384695799533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218512347743727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272426848909562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23584308240898505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27581626622007394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293414015960442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220846426998743,0.0,0.13080545290507564
mentalhealth,fuckdthghtsthrwaway,2018/04/08,"What do you do when the intrusive thoughts are inescapable? I have struggled with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidal tendencies for years. I get intrusive thoughts often. They vary in severity and in duration, but they happen frequently. Sometimes they’re as passing as a split second thought about swerving my car in traffic. Other times they’re full on plans of suicide, how to do it, when to do it, what I’d use, who would find me, how it’d feel during, etc. 
I went through a four month period of graphic nightmares every single night, waking in anxiety attacks every morning. Those nightmares usually consisted of myself (or my family sometimes) being mutilated, being cut open, brutally murdered, etc. I started seeing a therapist when I was getting back into not being able to fight the suicidal urges. I don’t want to die, my mind just doesn’t always get that, and with thoughts like these it often seems like the best escape from them. 
But anyways, right now at 3 am after coming down from an anxiety attack all I can think about/ imagine / see is myself lying on the floor bleeding out, gasping for air, slowly dying. I can’t stop seeing this. An actual visual, closed eye and open. It’s been going on for about two and a half hours now. The first hour I was scared to even look at the ground where I imagined this. I knew it wasn’t literally there, but I was too scared to look and confirm that it wasn’t. I don’t know how to explain this, because I know it’s all so irrational. I hope that someone here understands. 
I haven’t hurt myself tonight, I’m not planning to, and this isn’t a cry for salvation. I am asking though, what do I do? How do I escape these fucked up thoughts? How do you (those who also struggle with this,) get through these thoughts? I’ve had them for years, I’ve always gotten through them, but tonight...fuck dude. I’m just at a loss. I can’t get away from this image and it’s really getting to me. I guess because it’s been a bit since I’ve had explicitly graphic images come to mind, I’m not used to them the way I was when I got them every night. I’m just really struggling and figured this would be where someone could relate and discuss. 

Sidenote: I apologize for the jumbled feeling of my post. My heads pretty clouded right now and it’s hard to articulate well. 

TL;DR: my heads fucked up, I keep picturing myself in graphic situations and I can’t quit no matter what I try. ",4.319708541517965,5.9665907109207685,5.008781227694502,82.25705954080419,71.22698072805139,7.844135141565548,29.24631215798239,8.430304187100639,2.203420223649773,1910,76,355,31,36,615,230,467,0.221,0.713,0.066,-0.998,0,0,0,0,1,4,72.0,0,2,7,6,32,21,8,5,17,0,40,7,4,7,3,75,87,31,6,5,11,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,33,22,0,2,19,0,0,6,14,16,1,5,20,9,48,5,54,59,8,60,0,3,6,2,16,28,2,6,26,253,81,0,0.07397707128716398,0.0,0.07219095025544632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915943718116533,0.12310969898108473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697767711515963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915857548293139,0.16831919653182406,0.06950389365056453,0.056883801487734274,0.0,0.09019147205260804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763437229327508,0.0,0.08076380195210106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744939307268496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906467185372391,0.0,0.08126033911329468,0.0,0.0,0.0637163430999699,0.0,0.15355304104554013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650079788816865,0.04886115789079597,0.0,0.18698661949307352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973899901879639,0.0,0.0748100600101552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761370294882166,0.0629248590456573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517183106301268,0.23189979873914784,0.0,0.0420428744147721,0.0,0.05916622184241783,0.0,0.08149408427157373,0.0,0.06541767982620936,0.0,0.06626892529566403,0.0,0.1518436350524266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347592370753622,0.14570502734325974,0.0,0.07919398484308977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575422000113812,0.0,0.0,0.08131172742374743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228292060940554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424421655944005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493915070151058,0.0,0.05904779251898585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388449401175194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084958514184937,0.07526127673624462,0.0,0.0,0.08647523755806001,0.0,0.0,0.07868372133159418,0.0,0.0,0.0947832123154574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635202935077544,0.0,0.0,0.14812790752576094,0.0,0.17685044391648772,0.06734594731534521,0.0,0.08357303381832204,0.0,0.061194597826703376,0.08315332764455627,0.0,0.0,0.12536106487388796,0.0,0.14633043018364,0.0,0.052361351814950975,0.0,0.0,0.061848144070046636,0.0,0.2320106911606483,0.0,0.2427567270708779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858930815466687,0.0,0.04740152021759643,0.07268209693753229,0.3523771876977527,0.04313662517539371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050225575421490386,0.0,0.07226484935868317,0.07701274015148073,0.0,0.12778487510678405,0.08147529262090229,0.0,0.043633593324995584,0.058719555838516124,0.0,0.0,0.06651427137626377,0.06857748622776341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510237787307136,0.0,0.0,0.0952776169507574
mentalhealth,WaH1996,2018/04/08,"Inspiring Advocate for Mental Health Awareness It is such a great feeling to discover a public figure who delivers a message so inspiring and relatable and I hope that like myself, some people may find it uplifting to or encouraging to hear about a new advocate for mental health. Particularly, if you enjoy UFC like myself. Just a few days ago I learned heard about a new up and coming fighter Rose Namajunas, who became the new UFC strawweight champion, and tonight defended her UFC title for the first time and won. Rose is more than just a UFC champion though. She is a truly humble, well spoken, and respectable woman with a powerful message. It's so great to finally have a UFC champion who chooses to be a champion who uses her success to deliver a powerful message of importance rather than the usual self obsessed fighter who chooses to use a title belt and champion status as a way to talk about how great they are and become another hostage of an enlarged ego. If you didn't know, Rose Namajunas's father suffered from schizophrenia and ultimately died in part due to schizophrenia. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and has said that she wishes to promote mental health awareness so people can be more comfortable with talking about it, so it can lose its stigma. Personally, I am inspired by Rose and it and just thankful to have someone like Rose who chooses to spread a message so crucial and stand up for people who suffer from mental illness. In my opinion, mental health doesn't get the recognition it deserves. So, thank you Rose Namajunas, for speaking out and being an advocate for myself and all of those who struggle with mental health.",10.491528239202658,9.25307135880399,9.848156146179402,62.75004152823922,58.00332225913621,12.719601328903654,43.426910299003325,11.629938488055165,5.318637209302326,1353,66,206,31,14,435,151,301,0.055,0.664,0.281,0.9975,2,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,3,1,7,18,24,0,2,22,0,17,7,0,3,1,47,31,27,1,5,7,1,1,3,0,1,7,4,0,3,19,20,0,0,11,0,0,1,2,5,1,1,4,5,16,19,40,23,6,19,0,3,0,0,33,5,0,7,14,153,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270240206798755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600112421703718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058043593595033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064968373258687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052893656215214406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511985443396664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041469848951882216,0.0,0.0,0.08984472500919329,0.07496130996244205,0.06976292759523678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285007312465237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27126941036162344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.523076235418106,0.09243820460504447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146058049780804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04507395200353655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020689994364528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175513541784676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5785711894726365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237635236270172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881553915990499,0.0,0.17057909382632558,0.07161337182966206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780161762841807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556077112595571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949204992031198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574112729712023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318430103558375,0.0,0.1510189733336802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058048826845933,0.0,0.04782429876609387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416713064604979,0.0903292438968921,0.0,0.0,0.06510063247681723,0.0,0.0,0.07374240273951731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431456855123503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deliriouslymistaken,2018/04/08,"More of a venting than needing advice. I already have PTSD from sexual abuse as a child, MDD, and GAD. 

Thursday I got out of class early so I was heading home to take a nap. I decided to take a short cut because there was a bit of traffic the normal way out of campus. I hadn’t taken this road in a while, so I didn’t realize it’s condition. I was driving, not too fast (about 30/35 mph), and was not distracted. I noticed what I thought was a big pothole (it was actually where the road had been washed out a bit and was connected to a pretty deep ditch), I swerved because I was in my dad’s truck and didn’t want to hit it and ruin the new tires he had just put on.

I’m assuming my back tire still hit the hole because I swear the truck bounced and I swerved even more onto the left side of the road slightly hitting that ditch. I went to slam on the brake, but my foot slipped and slammed on the gas and I overcorrected and flew back into the ditch head on and flipped and rolled several times into a field. 

I saw everything. I didn’t blink. I saw everything turning upside down and things flying everywhere. There was dirt and glass and papers from my backpack and mail from the dash. When I finally stopped moving, I knew I had to get out. The truck was on it’s side, and as I am short, I couldn’t get out of my door because it was flipped up. The front glass was shattered, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to kick it out. The other window had been busted out but there was so much dirt that had somehow been pushed up against the door that I couldn’t crawl out. I had unbuckled myself (if I hadn’t of been wearing one I would have been thrown and killed) and slowly was able to stand on top of the other door. I felt completely trapped. I started panicking and called my mom (who actually moved out of our house and several hours away, taking all of my siblings, whom I’m very close to, away). My dad works at night so I knew he was asleep, she answered and was panicking, yelling at me to call 911. When I called the dispatcher, I became calm. I suppressed everything. 

Luckily a trucker was coming down the road and stopped and quickly dug a hole under the door and helped me out. The moment I was outside of the truck and standing there, it was like it was in all happening in slow motion. I couldn’t stop staring at what I had done. The bed was completely busted. The headlights had been thrown several feet into the field. Glass was everywhere. I had busted every part of that truck. The front of the truck was completely smashed in, the hood bent almost in half, covering most of the windshield. 

I was, and still am, so mad at myself. Why couldn’t I have done the right thin? Why did I swerve? Why did I have to take that road? Why didn’t I just spend the extra 5 minutes taking the safer route? I’m embarrassed that police had to come. That paramedics had to come. That I threw off that trucker’s day, I took 20 minutes from his day that he could have been doing things he needed to get done. I’m mad that I had to wake my dad up and make my grandparents drive 20 minutes just to pick me up. I’m mad that I ruined my dad’s truck that he’s spent so much money fixing. I don’t care how many people say they don’t care about the truck, they only care I’m safe. I’m so mad at myself. 

Every night that I lay down and every time I close my eyes, even to blink, all I see is everything rolling and spinning. I keep seeing the glass shattering and things flying. And I can’t smell anything other than the dirt that was everywhere. I feel like I deserve the pain I feel and I don’t want to take any medicine to suppress it. It’s the thing that keeps reminding me of how much I screwed up. And some part of me is mad that I didn’t die. I know that’s bad but I feel like things could have been easier if that happened. Maybe my mom would come back home to my dad because I’m not there to cause problems anymore. And my boyfriend could find someone who didn’t fight with him and feel jealous of any girl that he’s friends with. And my friends could be happy that I’m not there to bring things down anymore. It would have made life easier for everyone else for sure.

And I’m sorry if anyone reads this. It’s long and sad. ",2.8856840103246846,4.281844106235567,3.574917130824616,92.11514298329031,74.45034642032333,6.849313951908709,24.51358511071865,7.39963492309942,0.8708192365167773,3300,102,731,38,68,1042,328,866,0.131,0.7909999999999999,0.079,-0.9944,1,1,0,0,3,0,91.0,1,0,2,2,34,30,10,2,48,0,88,14,8,6,4,129,151,59,2,21,14,7,6,3,2,4,5,2,8,2,49,59,0,9,15,2,3,18,21,18,0,2,73,15,92,12,98,61,15,112,0,3,6,1,33,63,1,8,31,471,141,5,0.11476999510210832,0.06799183843375795,0.11199895944882778,0.0,0.0,0.05607595545788683,0.0,0.0,0.0574627858016586,0.0,0.06332577176594847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804753230026294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382099552363922,0.0401249245553486,0.0,0.047222963465845334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783018839564222,0.13237656285676766,0.04791407598218119,0.1749068093941604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529910948338158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578949558095838,0.0,0.17552348853870786,0.05895019991001482,0.0,0.1977283767011844,0.1805012344110397,0.0,0.0,0.18326900433907145,0.0,0.0,0.07401715215606043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955656753529912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761743284209785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047937801971850665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580449934333941,0.0,0.14504800629423886,0.054833824340076415,0.20629574237154005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160623159522634,0.08199170743307553,0.055098596818345114,0.0628624598606594,0.05244884814477737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867101351660653,0.0,0.08994387822598887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045896024760869326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149072763506486,0.06108739696279071,0.0,0.0,0.11778712611915172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03846395423463829,0.0,0.11512366286082812,0.0,0.056512663260298836,0.06621458251666268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201284500949168,0.06348799749551176,0.0,0.031537293906722656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062348967745457076,0.0,0.04053272084630575,0.0841062335257689,0.0,0.0,0.05078391703212083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542990721940013,0.038304931467137406,0.05817938058525165,0.05765094310794393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441723114884205,0.0,0.1219823415932032,0.12655372800740658,0.08510049712288582,0.0,0.05542278822336145,0.0,0.1077038656706406,0.056225113611396565,0.0,0.06533320005707799,0.0,0.0,0.03888555947600392,0.043643876504602115,0.06106168333747866,0.0,0.0,0.12428472044120692,0.0,0.03978353185687054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058381172788439226,0.0,0.054909692643156635,0.06707999126152403,0.05768777238148625,0.0,0.0,0.05740052674636879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490064743623006,0.0,0.04563485331774772,0.0,0.0,0.09145682677502263,0.0,0.0,0.19448613972762335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048622122203652515,0.0,0.0,0.06423780657945778,0.04061739662559759,0.0,0.0916554663429902,0.14392928244833195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408468106831822,0.0,0.25887825904398465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228744254987424,0.0,0.0,0.04555727808910871,0.0669233070998912,0.13191122602155267,0.0,0.0,0.0637568437471104,0.0,0.06241839881867945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734863282274053,0.06769431669926157,0.04554954000425414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053196467645516055,0.20712413849773226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177696166918966,0.0,0.0,0.12229396741276535,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hifidelitea,2018/04/08,"Chronically detached, any advice? I've gone through major periods of anxiety and depersonalization, and suddenly I feel radically unprovoked by absolutely everything, even formerly stressful situations. My general feeling towards everything seems to be stuck at indifferent contentedness. I'm unable to focus, or empathize, or even panic or cry, and I hate it. I currently see a therapist and take no medication. Any advice? Thanks",8.311684434968015,12.262422044776125,9.981663113006398,40.5468656716418,67.35820895522386,14.574840085287844,45.39232409381663,12.28987398476788,8.715193603411514,355,24,38,18,7,124,53,67,0.292,0.622,0.086,-0.9344,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,11,7,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,3,4,2,7,8,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,4,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020776120788177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798094580795992,0.0,0.15738432035449296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259868029596684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27176792470072336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697970850316991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804843390260933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20311763258952506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20725321877632608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24138202651174226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394166723393416,0.18729057117108636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312512459940827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23566516635802015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468476546021304,0.0,0.0,0.189410268458586,0.0,0.238870562280364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Abby_dabba_doo,2018/04/08,"Passing thoughts. Hi, this is my first time really posting on here. I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for by posting this, maybe reassurance that I’m not alone. I was diagnosed with depression about 6 years ago and have been diagnosed with anxiety for about 3, some days are better than others. Before I say anything I can’t stress that I’m not suicidal enough, but thoughts are a different story. I’m not sure how common it is, but I have suicidal/death thoughts at least a couple times a day. like I said, I’m not suicidal and don’t want to harm my self. I’ve tried talking about this a couple time with my S/O and closet friend but all it does is cause an intense amount of concern and worry. In addition to these thoughts I have an extremely hard time voicing my emotions and what’s is causing the emotions to my S/O. I know its frustrating to him. I’m usually a pretty bubbly person when I’m around other people, but my actions never reflect my emotions and it’s frustrating. ",4.4340306122448965,5.635222096938776,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714288,70.37755102040815,8.865306122448981,31.3469387755102,9.23628265651192,2.792738775510204,785,34,150,16,14,259,114,196,0.138,0.728,0.134,-0.2176,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,2,1,8,0,13,2,0,3,5,36,29,12,2,1,9,0,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,2,14,11,0,0,6,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,7,5,15,6,19,22,5,21,0,1,1,0,9,4,0,1,14,93,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999713827618898,0.0,0.0,0.11680456890488472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627528452558478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280713994537768,0.10039682280846486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596624225812546,0.0,0.0,0.09974346547205244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317092808804221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24957464811332686,0.0,0.14546567378123446,0.0,0.09713600263320823,0.22893571509882465,0.0,0.11782958442447986,0.0,0.0,0.09869327192494946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805820783860405,0.0,0.11653039308485777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592937975682586,0.0,0.0,0.08713243045924188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010274317206152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198014343628872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509790443901445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470558070119657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330121517832575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698177282129893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818644865929278,0.09847388260098593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602135822837712,0.11473633324750435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224882905326807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072782301419878,0.08968603212100806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765262709802153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918745167569054,0.0,0.0,0.2467228650477583,0.0,0.21258490346286332,0.0,0.0,0.09064712910336498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581342950833137,0.2630483252970455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656923465839323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242096431389377,0.0,0.06651971268129966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145320951971665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262569068420807
mentalhealth,penny-cocker,2018/04/08,"Am I mentally ill or just stressed? Approx 12 months ago I started a new job. Senior role at a large corporate, very demanding & high pressure and I am one of the youngest & the only female to get this role and I felt like I needed to prove myself. I have definitely struggled/am struggling however I feel like perhaps the way I am feeling is more than just stress. 

I have developed a tremor. My hands are permanently shaking & I get chest pains/dizziness. My mouth is always dry and I wake up with jaw pain from grinding my teeth. The main thing is how going to the office makes me feel though. 

Sometimes when I’m driving there my hands sweat, it gets hard to breathe, or I cry for no reason. There is nothing in particular that makes me cry but I always feel like I’m on the brink of tears lately and something about arriving at work makes me cry. It’s just so hard and my targets & workload are unrealistic and unachievable. Even working a 70 hour week for months now, I just feel like I am putting out fires and never getting ahead. I’m so overwhelmed.

My doctor just keeps sending me for blood tests, heart tests for the pain & palpitations etc and telling me I am ok but I don’t feel ok. I know a lot of my colleagues are stressed out too but sometimes my thoughts scare me. I wish I’d get in a serious accident so I could have time off work and the other week I told my partner I’d be better off not being here anymore. He got so upset and I didn’t even realise those words had come out of my mouth but I think I meant it. ",2.7300631177801584,4.601647463022509,3.5858235083958583,89.8697487197809,75.9774919614148,6.408050494224128,25.987971894724307,7.2427474758485975,1.1174557818268431,1215,45,255,14,27,387,173,311,0.161,0.7509999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9596,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,5,20,19,0,9,14,2,21,16,12,5,2,51,51,23,0,3,12,0,12,4,1,0,4,0,0,1,8,15,0,1,13,0,0,6,5,12,0,1,7,12,41,7,28,41,4,35,0,1,0,0,7,13,0,3,19,155,49,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502465032015136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084775702081714,0.4585150046214139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393610581781809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485360722262123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290636439095767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757490773367743,0.0,0.2789058033668913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866284664770256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439144075721763,0.11180247456239824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567668325622832,0.1813917880341388,0.08126377091821173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109391580787333,0.0,0.04810055267000845,0.0,0.06769108938509406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163434831415634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002939912601723,0.0,0.0894225128573693,0.0,0.0,0.08334934801159788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839881066008674,0.07522830839864715,0.0,0.0,0.046513696816375655,0.0,0.0954730219034307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539537214387662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195444588622893,0.0,0.0,0.16948543278039582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529311655815426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511119273563615,0.0,0.0,0.06275647387192246,0.06527645121892317,0.08174191405782302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121046290709201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057351500396691776,0.06436944290878646,0.18011720563327002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508249193798333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701983795099531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473533645141977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515687820677349,0.16741420900089815,0.0,0.059905750877084614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290850535021756,0.08847985638090061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397553824444582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562283548933196,0.054231290119969945,0.0831543770632882,0.06719147898623004,0.049351894706000564,0.0,0.0,0.08087326351399575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983351070959767,0.0,0.0671800662463187,0.1357796848468682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973271490952296,0.0,0.0,0.1848479075031684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,riel44,2018/04/08,"Question to others with hallucinations about type and intensity I'm going to talk about the subject of my hallucinations and it's pretty dark stuff, so don't read if you don't like that stuff.

More and more I just want to know if anyone out there is having the same problems as I am. I don't know why I care I just feel so alone in it all. I've had schizoaffective (not sure if this one is well known, a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar is my best description) since I was about 14, so 10 years now. My symptoms are all over the place: anxiety, paranoia, delusions, and pretty extreme hallucinations, all on top of depression that absolutely can't be solved except for the occasional manic episode. I'm doing a lot better since I started Invega maybe 2 years ago, but I still have outbursts for a few days (maybe weeks) where everything comes pouring back out and I'm totally incapable of functioning. By no means does the Invega solve all the issues, but it limits it to tolerable levels.

My real question though is if anyone else has similar degrees of hallucinations and how they deal with it. My therapist mentioned she had never worked with someone who suffers from visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations all simultaneously.  When my medication is working as intended I just get shadowy images, mutterings in my head, the feeling of things crawling on my skin, but usually all their own independent experience.

But when it's a full on meltdown I see people (that aren't there) around me, and things crawling in the shadows.  They're sometimes bloody, or mutilated, or rotting, and while I can't touch them (because they're too far away) I see the blood all over myself, and hear them screaming and insulting me even though they aren't speaking.  But worst of all is I can feel the blood on me, wet and hot, or I can see and feel maggots crawling in and out of my skin, eating away at my guts or my arms. Now I know no one gets those exact things, but does anyone else have multiple variants of hallucinations simultaneously?  Specifically the auditory, visual, and tactile all at once.",6.981647286821705,7.767713188630495,7.346812015503875,71.1099854651163,64.40051679586563,10.170930232558144,33.954457364341074,10.125756701596842,3.457844186046513,1672,69,293,36,24,546,205,387,0.1,0.84,0.059,-0.9507,0,1,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,5,6,25,12,1,0,15,0,26,11,7,3,13,76,48,41,0,6,19,0,9,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,18,24,1,1,11,1,0,2,11,6,1,2,3,15,37,6,44,44,19,41,0,2,3,0,16,24,0,11,16,217,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709249740365745,0.0,0.0,0.10175713622280698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516080888308661,0.0,0.0,0.2060955811099725,0.20133701002876256,0.0,0.08746312982993887,0.0,0.0,0.18461779542158546,0.07554801230750406,0.0,0.05989215086241718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310707723643228,0.08689394172277137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001721935228538,0.0,0.0,0.08463348145354975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336297681451593,0.10129120379690967,0.084622387161372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195808023091178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053404781398063,0.16415015959959625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489304971097465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830056250516635,0.096107132513632,0.0,0.0,0.19871215307545848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266290455892828,0.0,0.05583761124711294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083261411625637,0.0,0.1107346368973478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025472389109575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198652050737875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799987723217844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352844518150045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974102091245904,0.10702280778319087,0.0,0.0989763118191544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577628331547243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463280375114498,0.1331531804035114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811402312078943,0.0,0.10265010338013512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991068502601056,0.0,0.09401176566493057,0.0,0.0,0.22012446682829676,0.0,0.09827636269232952,0.11182975345830344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348770504810813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254645817795507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832467154468963,0.0,0.09717153962415608,0.0,0.06954169636863046,0.0,0.07846239715586001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22494497243369774,0.0,0.0,0.09259925011237387,0.10211913529623627,0.0,0.07896944743564513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407556126881566,0.19581835430066769,0.0,0.1930598100113229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820824643740934,0.0,0.05795026280457358,0.0,0.07881004309605581,0.0,0.08833834696582603,0.0,0.08865514007947292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305401256425096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653926759057368
mentalhealth,Lissamunster6,2018/04/08,"Phone anxiety is a real thing right? Since as my late teens the thought of having to place a call or pick up the phone sends me into a whirlwind of anxious feelings. 

A lot of people thing I’m just being over dramatic or childish, but I don’t think they understand that it’s not that at all. 

I avoid having to actually call anyone at all costs and it can affect relationships badly because apparently not everyone likes to text ha. 

Does anyone else suffer from this type of anxiety? If so how do you improve or cope?",6.153102310231018,6.368454227722776,6.980940594059407,74.99471122112212,66.12871287128712,9.901650165016502,31.684818481848183,9.725611199111238,2.9378501650165014,411,15,76,8,6,137,76,101,0.196,0.741,0.063,-0.9151,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,1,6,1,7,0,0,3,2,22,12,9,0,1,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,4,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,6,2,14,10,3,9,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,5,2,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.1877869978503209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29442166962724864,0.2173946882047315,0.0,0.26910746879437725,0.19717050525172586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067364425072156,0.11730546355554185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929915276740062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839954838110532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075320628224368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387812358523792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729998378328268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707297761734395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401311805055024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359978462951005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334089182265615,0.0,0.2010516868678218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903105632093853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20660118949695788,0.0,0.16433686064610076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918269215007927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255688071454645,0.12330339389779915,0.0,0.152770427951962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003296980868093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GingerSnap0988,2018/04/08,"My (29f) mother (59f) is acting odd, but not around the family My mother recently moved in with us to help with our two kids, and everything’s seemed totally normal until we talked to the neighbor. He saw her pick something up, put it in her mouth, then throw it down and say “Don’t do that. You shouldn’t do that [insert mothers name]”.  He said he sees her talk to herself often. 
She’s always been a little eccentric, but this is a little different. Apparently shes been talking to herself, a lot. At first I chalked this up to her being a little eccentric, but after the neighbor telling me this, along with her mood swings (highs and lows) lately, I’m starting to be concerned. 
My fiancé brought up that it sounds a lot like when his grandmother was diagnosed with dementia, and she was able to hide it from the family, but would show all the signs when she thought no one was around. 
This is my mother, I’m in complete denial and chalking it up to her being awkward (it’s my family. We’re awkward as all hell). 
Her job at one point was on the line because she made other coworkers uncomfortable with how she would talk to herself... but again, I chalked it up to it being her personality. 
Previous medical history is short. She was diagnosed with depression, but that’s it. There is previous heavy drug use, but that was 30+ years ago. She does drink about 3-4 drinks in the evening and she’s a smoker. Otherwise there’s nothing to indicate she has any problems. 
Has anyone gone through something where all the signs pointed to something being off, but you didn’t want to admit it? She does not have healthcare, and her primary care giver that offered reduced healthcare passed away (he was our family practitioner for 25 years, it hit her hard), so taking her in is currently not an option, which makes it all even more difficult. 
Could I just be over reacting? I’m looking for any advice, things to look for, hints, anything. Right now I’m just looking at what’s not wrong and that she’s a phenomenal mom and grandma. 
She takes great care of my kids and herself otherwise. She’s on top of everything and doesn’t have memory loss. She’s still as sharp as a tack when she’s sound us. It just all seems odd and the second my fiancé mentioned dementia I just freaked out internally. 


TLDR; mom’s talking to herself and doing odd things. I’m in denial anything’s wrong, but want input if it could be something serious, like dementia. ",5.486883332182082,6.434459259100643,5.900578849209095,79.58991227464256,67.75802997858672,9.280624438764935,31.124473302479785,9.454032385205345,2.773508724183187,1922,75,361,38,31,618,225,467,0.081,0.833,0.086,0.6841,4,0,8,0,0,0,70.0,5,2,0,3,21,19,1,2,18,0,38,7,1,6,6,74,66,33,0,10,18,6,2,2,2,3,4,4,2,3,30,24,2,0,4,3,0,7,9,12,0,5,16,11,52,6,58,37,9,58,1,3,5,0,69,34,1,7,19,256,82,4,0.08017177121243674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834292695558215,0.07106743789195255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670933607543372,0.0,0.0,0.10903910726327116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605796651826466,0.0,0.13194907326043667,0.1427397475632369,0.0,0.0,0.07532401814741015,0.0,0.0,0.04887196760362436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348092783907475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405857678446167,0.0,0.0,0.12802127135346725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905182906842462,0.16274532035619418,0.0,0.08376243722532069,0.0,0.0,0.1403177145120713,0.0,0.0,0.15707562815223294,0.09297380175363787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059053975356644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410643692017616,0.0,0.3023152431766747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819406763753039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838966079292711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181815966564085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053737448295289,0.08470587802161983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955811222110595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904372499641848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833575556362297,0.2410595299046209,0.0,0.0,0.20197228812571724,0.0,0.0,0.13631834583028868,0.0,0.07586046839353902,0.0535152798283076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076462499842027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779241896955048,0.0,0.08520990502323324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855131370940249,0.07692697672295974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086529340705886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000289825332713,0.0,0.0,0.151576475204599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671355761609695,0.0,0.08059477366029241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915995207773573,0.0,0.0,0.06846625456430531,0.07626171357390346,0.0637558103274045,0.0,0.0,0.06388652178210193,0.14597073894131074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468805852707665,0.0,0.0,0.05674599230600458,0.0,0.06402528005235072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055838890343686,0.32219516423918965,0.07007366175352682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652512479819834,0.0,0.0,0.06364743106892902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831617106057051,0.0,0.19287353895746556,0.06924266933806349,0.0,0.0,0.0945747756801244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390345205765152,0.17531049249061495,0.0,0.10325598425207873
mentalhealth,whoanellythere,2018/04/08,"I have a problem with not knowing whether or not somethings a memory or dream I’ve had a traumatic childhood that has led to memory and emotional problems, and I don’t know if I dreamt something or if it was real. If it was real then my entire life would be changed and I’ve been dealing with the trauma of having no clue. I can’t really say anything because of my age and what could happen so I just need an opinion and some advice as for what I should do. ",8.442157894736841,5.420635926315789,8.826184210526318,74.08453947368426,63.42105263157895,11.605263157894738,38.48684210526316,9.516144504307137,3.5130526315789474,363,14,73,5,4,122,66,95,0.152,0.809,0.039,-0.8885,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,14,1,0,1,0,30,18,15,0,9,10,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,1,8,0,7,10,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,8,3,58,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088606383474828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588676311620702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029166445080306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22610466462990714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065104340626294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035273983132805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24042456901037595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18900630392405413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349277612240437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509682693909245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848275796319225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090335461346397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865574037130934,0.13692494659995616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997168424524803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329089291395044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518321348922227,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throw_away747483,2018/04/08,"My ‘friend’ has been displaying erratic behaviour and I am beginning to be afraid for the safety of myself and the people around him For some background: I  am currently enrolled in a high school in Canada where at the beginning of the year we do a trip as a grade (nothing big, just a weekend at a camp). Our school is dominantly Jewish but many kids and teachers are not, and they are still accepted. My ‘friend’ (Z) is almost what you might call a zealot, shouting in class about his beliefs laughing in other people’s faces if they say something he disagrees with and so on. It being high school pretty much all of the kids know what sex is (where they got their information is another question), except for Z, whose mother (no father) has allowed him to miss sex ed. in school.

So we go on this trip at the start of the school year and everything goes well for the first night, everyone has fun, talks, goes to bed absurdly late. It is, however, at this point that we start to realize something might be wrong with Z. When the conversation naturally drifts to less... safe for work topics Z not only shows a complete lack of knowledge, but total disgust toward the topic. After some chiding everyone leaves him alone. 

Next day a kid (A) in his cabin masturbates. Not in public, but in a bathroom and he washes his hands. Z goes crazy, yelling at him calling him a heathen and a disgrace and well as using some more colourful language. Everyone present (including A) makes a joke out of it and thinks that Z is just pretending. Later that night at a sort of meeting and gathering for the whole grade Z’s mental state continues to decline, resulting in him literally rocking in a corner crying, staring at A and running away if A gets too close.

We alert the teachers in charge, who do nothing, and we successfully separate A and Z for the rest of the night with a few incidents worth mentioning: Z lies in his back in his bed for the rest of the night, not sleeping. He became noticeably distressed at the sound of A’s voice. Whenever he heard A he would get all tensed up and grab his shoes, and if somebody can into the room unexpectedly while he was like that he would throw his shoes at them.

In the evening before we all fell asleep we took Z’s shoes and moved them to another corner of the room, thinking that this would discourage him from attacking people. We were wrong. During the night one of the other people “caring” for Z went to the bathroom and when he came back Z took a pencil and tried to stab him. The pencil glanced off of his sweatshirt and Z was disarmed, but now we were really starting to get worried.

A and Z were on different busses on the way home and the rest of the trip passed with Z barely leaving the cabin, and sprinting away the moment he sees A. After the trip we had a 3 day long weekend and the two of them did not see each other until Tuesday.

Since we returned from the trip Z has missed a large amount of school and has continued to act strangely. He speaks even more about his beliefs and his reactions to opposing views have gotten worse and worse. Unfortunately A, Z and I (me) have many classes together and Z will try to move his desk away from A whenever A approaches, even if it is not to communicate with Z.

Z has become incredibly clingy to the people who helped him on the trip, doing things like demanding our phone numbers and getting mad when we do not give them, hunting us down at lunch and following us around, and then avoiding is for the rest of the day if we talk to A at any point. This has been going on for months, and with recent comments he has made we are beginning to see that he is extremely violent at home.

I am beginning to fear for the safety of myself and my fellow students and I want to know if there is anything else I can do besides going to the school (multiple failed attempts) thank you.",7.178467741935487,6.71270991129033,7.111849462365594,77.20277419354841,64.13440860215053,10.343225806451613,33.788172043010746,9.766711354998122,3.0600678494623654,3050,113,580,54,40,974,336,744,0.135,0.795,0.07,-0.9958,4,2,2,0,1,0,78.0,18,2,8,5,24,28,4,4,69,0,51,11,7,5,4,118,89,55,0,11,20,2,2,2,3,6,1,7,6,3,23,62,1,4,11,6,1,23,8,14,2,3,17,16,60,14,110,63,20,125,3,4,7,2,89,55,0,14,47,410,83,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256923844855873,0.06471513651503036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424916281963116,0.13104097142339702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141945034723272,0.11124897175924436,0.0,0.07108518198406535,0.17611883958170035,0.09609350481747378,0.0,0.0,0.0690092625245605,0.05316973922164225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760739798590792,0.07146566484646627,0.06370715037269843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551384876643389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068636330412417,0.12089207244113775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528304254732469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052197813253076514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381134316890655,0.0,0.0,0.1791199599349181,0.05615707329227135,0.0,0.0,0.07031247643989176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053149315690043664,0.0,0.0,0.09655079736903023,0.0,0.13058236758969405,0.05994086203716757,0.10653420787957082,0.0,0.04997459272190211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041882068378802255,0.13203668904758833,0.12535417161071094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867973541286443,0.0,0.07048527995183718,0.13232420634686912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105357762788339,0.0,0.0,0.05529684942707521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059124380209633134,0.04170891399166801,0.12669902740855235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296971729508177,0.13257243990772416,0.0,0.0,0.04987456170723625,0.13282234947680474,0.045933324636579606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645301451885707,0.2931875281960023,0.0,0.11991119792593427,0.07113906010558772,0.0,0.0,0.042341139732725484,0.047522306441277314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659455387964466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813616947817338,0.0,0.0,0.06356923824951287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999698227503111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040029194740153734,0.0,0.06169594260531881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04969021217764805,0.0,0.44266381498821206,0.1493762594974055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051687855129826994,0.0,0.06252966310074436,0.0,0.0,0.09620729939474468,0.0,0.0,0.13268063177786335,0.0,0.049900232374070465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044540876473408,0.0,0.05752736708146754,0.0,0.0,0.04151195025434165,0.08007513724917564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884524056699338,0.08484579875988202,0.0,0.06103831379377834,0.0,0.15032241022479514,0.05396657831633227,0.0,0.0,0.036854999144908265,0.04959731746361102,0.0,0.0,0.1123622066345894,0.057923792282226265,0.0,0.06976175468405219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045489487498191865,0.06345608091814223,0.12735416386239748,0.1331616680451424,0.1366340655713107,0.0,0.08047598704728992
mentalhealth,Thorawy556,2018/04/08,"Need help for my obsessive SO I'm in need of advice on how to deal with a worrying trend in my SO's behavior. I have long speculated she has an undiagnosed condition and in recent months, her behavior has been gradually changing for the worse. She has always been something of a worrier with obsessive tendencies. To date her worries and tendencies have been outwardly justifiable as quirky but 'ok.' Things like skipping family or social events because someone in the party was recently sick (but is no longer) or getting upset when there are TV or movie scenes that depict throwing up, etc. 
Lately however her tendencies for worrying more often  include made up ""what if"" scenarios that cause her to alter the course of her day. Often while driving she'll think she heard a bump and her mind immediately jumps to ""what if I hit a person?!"" She'll then turn around, sometimes after agonizing over it for 5-10 minutes to check and make sure nobody got hurt. This has been happening more often lately, maybe once per week.
More recently her ""what if"" scenarios have been getting more intense and causing her a lot of grief. She recently has gotten stuck on worrying about accidentally touching a child inappropriately. This has now manifested itself in multiple occasions when she's with children and afterward incessantly worries about whether or not she touched them (at all) that could be construed as inappropriate. The really worrying part for me is that I know she didn't but I know she's having trouble separating reality from this bubble of worry she has created for herself. 
All of this is causing a lot of grief for us. I think she needs professional help but talking about that invariably brings on another 'episode' of worrying about made up stuff. She then shuts down for a good hour and we drop it.
What is your best guess at what is going on and how can I talk to her about getting professional help.
",7.435256916996046,8.558762318840582,7.6615612648221365,68.0640415019763,63.49275362318841,11.4901185770751,35.97167325428195,11.299434782280676,4.495028985507247,1540,70,254,45,22,501,191,345,0.181,0.736,0.083,-0.9888,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,2,1,1,1,17,12,0,3,13,1,29,1,0,8,3,52,53,31,2,7,13,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,19,13,0,0,4,1,1,5,3,7,0,0,13,3,36,5,51,35,11,46,0,3,0,0,38,19,0,13,22,193,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788470855495814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671386292661449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460808761766098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182915883284005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049186472351283206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467676199109071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486654797506159,0.08535688666034648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644225619773948,0.0,0.0,0.05203689068274688,0.08318547461135238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998811313636278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606518152943273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646797728612302,0.0,0.04585667875039105,0.0676770136601251,0.06453332379550222,0.0,0.08888659718246596,0.0,0.07135186568814625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622497913062575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946113014633928,0.0,0.08637785052672144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886876983320637,0.0,0.18203847780254206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039419934003857016,0.0,0.0,0.07140607445880458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719559242089754,0.0,0.1526973033480848,0.0538596655856972,0.0,0.08106163873854755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147157444141694,0.0,0.06440415147998288,0.0,0.0,0.17948671909832875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859297659983091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737691498179723,0.0,0.0,0.07045338643561422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051690606060855834,0.0,0.3186774738254411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225094781710543,0.06836642546149246,0.062117332680240965,0.07980219742040298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236811091145122,0.0,0.0,0.07604720134136816,0.0,0.0,0.12970743200765086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360532184931925,0.10340283889508503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776504637928773,0.0,0.0,0.09705736699786548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472280507427983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6555381994962176,0.08222765855213889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Uzinero,2018/04/08,"The brain buzz/click? This is a really odd feeling to describe but it's one I get semi-regularly for many years now and I've never heard anyone else mention it before. I guess the best way to describe it would simply be that it feels like there's a sort of buzz in my brain sometime, like it's a phone set to vibrate, and sometimes I can notice my mood and/or level of energy changing as I'm feeling this kind of ""buzz"", sometimes for the better but usually for the worse, and then all of a sudden it stops, and it feels like a light sort of ""click"" in my mind, and the buzzing feeling stops and I find I feel very different, usually like I said, my mood and sometimes how much energy I feel like I have can change substantially.
Has anyone else experienced this or have any clue what it is? I've had it happen for years and have never once seen something like this mentioned by anyone and I have no clue what it is or could be. Thanks.
",5.502496392496389,5.374382539682543,5.907734487734491,83.30974025974028,67.51851851851852,8.777489177489178,28.292929292929287,8.296473431620573,1.713196825396826,736,21,153,9,11,237,97,189,0.061,0.722,0.217,0.9859,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,3,12,0,0,10,0,15,2,2,1,3,33,30,16,0,2,4,0,7,6,0,1,0,2,0,0,17,9,0,2,8,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,13,13,10,16,22,3,16,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,5,17,95,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014903429909168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21638542251812865,0.2113892677803872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877774286054894,0.0,0.10825495797753007,0.09123234080363167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230310509159952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21824892594454254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236098754462856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777516854952757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234577010374416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651083768972627,0.22108216342457732,0.0,0.0,0.09428193151068898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053894304429720465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363701937216165,0.0,0.09121975191377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074202070623692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30237835260022433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045831237424268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415728778630873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758308989835892,0.0,0.15911921055039555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744281354192007,0.0,0.10985686023450793,0.06990059429239323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608382577902269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812416288931322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941386846704486,0.4080922947511496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248463636695366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949713959627604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272216318195637,0.08511379591398903,0.0,0.08187975070815934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512390308558403,0.07327845362751398,0.0,0.0,0.1328570595024558
mentalhealth,wanderingsoldier21,2018/04/08,"Humiliation and Sexual Arousal This was not an easy thread to post. When I was thinking about posting this thread I felt extremely uncomfortable. But I guess my sense of curiosity and desire for knowledge overwhelmed me. There is so much I could say, but in the interests of keeping it concise and so that I do not type up my life story, I will keep it brief.

In short, I want to know if there is something wrong with me. I am a straight male. I sometimes experience sexual arousal from being humiliated by women, particularly women of authority. I ask that you do not judge me because the things I reveal in this thread I would never say to anyone, including any psychologist or counsellor - I simply do not trust them. 

To be clear, I have no criminal record and currently work a white-collar office job. A lot of people see me as quite normal. 

1. The earliest experience I can think of is when I was a teenager. I remember that my parents called the police for a general noise disturbance issue (nothing bad) - and some police officers attended our house. My father had hit me, but it was nothing serious. I didn't suffer any permanent damage or anything. So I called the police. (Please note that I do not have any grudge towards my parents now). One of them was a female police officer and was extremely abusive to me. I explained that my father had hit me. She called me a liar and it made me really upset and humiliated and angry, but I knew there was nothing I could do. She was a police officer, so I sucked it up and sobbed. That night when I went to sleep I felt a strange sensation, almost a change in my mind. I somehow found that experience quite arousing, although at the time I wasn't acutely aware of it. I just knew that there was something about that shocking and traumatic experience that transformed itself into something more pleasurable, something my mind could more easily process - as if I was somehow blocking out the trauma.

2. There was another experience when the police were called to our house, again for similar reasons. No offences were committed or anything - just a general disturbance. One of the police officers was also a female. I was quite upset at the time and was quite angry. She came up to me and sat on my bed and talked to me. She was extremely nice. She asked if I go to school... and then if had a girlfriend yet. She was extremely kind. I remember the word ""yet"" -- maybe she found me attractive. I was maybe a teenager at the time. I said no. I think that she called me handsome or something, and she was rather affectionate. At the time I felt nothing of it. It meant nothing to me. But whenever I think back of that memory it always makes me appreciate that back then perhaps I wasn't that bad looking. That feeling of affection from a woman was really lovely. And she wasn't that bad-looking either.

3. I often have strange feelings when I see female police officers. I often feel aroused by them and fantasise about being subjected to humilating and grading strip searches by them (and have it filmed by other women who laugh at me). I am not sure what kind of fetish this is, but it really turns me on, the idea of being totally humiliated and destroyed, to be put in a vulnerable position where I am exposed. 

Is there anything wrong with me?

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mentalhealth,PizzaLover179,2018/04/08,Online mental health service? Ive been in therapy for 20 years on and off with periods of successfully adulting and being relatively normal mixed in there but Ive never been able to maintain long term.  Currently on 20 mg Viibryd Prescribed Seroquel as well but have been afraid to take it.  I have no access to regular mental health care  my regular physician is whos prescribing my meds.  Im horribly depressed to the point where my quality of life has diminished.  Anyone know of any online therapy services that are legitimate?  ,6.674661654135338,8.633143052631581,7.34075187969925,66.60526315789475,65.84210526315789,10.902255639097746,36.72932330827068,10.914260884657429,4.842669172932332,430,22,64,13,7,142,71,95,0.116,0.7979999999999999,0.086,-0.6322,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,1,0,11,4,0,0,1,8,15,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,6,3,15,11,1,13,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,42,8,3,0.19699968906879084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396654397396388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774676306781788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008543123466581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696755435284774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188029147187109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127934695106644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082658771252541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391467063622389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743385256071915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188222441545538,0.0,0.3970587035199514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519383048554526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930178682929837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622838209677187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811924926592598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505726262866114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771263791843938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268613408717855
mentalhealth,RainlessBloodberry,2018/04/08,"Break The Chain of Mental Abuse Country: United Kingdom 

My dad mentally abuses my mum to hell. I can’t stand it anymore. I have such high anxiety that I can’t even sleep, eat or function properly in school because I’m always worried about my mum. I don’t even know if it’s mental abuse or what to even call it man. Let me give you a few examples?

1. My mum is socially isolated. She has no friends because of how insanely jealous he gets every single time she tried to make friends. He will even make weird remarks when her friends come over like ‘you’re here AGAIN?’ When they haven’t visited in like 6 months, obviously, said friend takes offence. He will make issues when My mum tells him that any friend is coming to visit today and will cause arguments just so that she will feel terrible all night while her friend is over. This also affects me. 

2. Whenever we are out, he will never phone my mum, but he will always phone me and ask me where we are, he knows how long it takes to get home from various points in my city so if we take like 5 mins extra, it’s suddenly an issue. Why??? Why can’t we just relax??? There is literally NOTHING to be home for. 

3. My dad doesn’t like it when my mum speaks to her own actual family members. Isolated. I really don’t know how to explain these points because they seem minor but they just aren’t. 

4. I get so jealous and upset when people talk about how loving their dad is and how much their dad helps them Cos my dad wouldn’t even....ANYTHING. He does NOTHING to be a dad he is just a man I live with who loves to control our lives and I don’t know who to tell, Who to report or anything. I don’t have any proof. 

Extra details

I am just barely scratching the top of the barrel. If you want more details comment so. I am 20, i have a part time job that I am trying to save money for an apartment to rent out soon. That won’t be the hard part. The hard part will be convincing my mum to move out with me because I can not handle coming home and seeing this shit anymore. He is a big baby and I will rejoice when he passes ONE day. 

Excuse my spelling and grammar I am on mobile ",2.0274958833215706,3.85830066513762,3.438807339449543,90.31993060456364,77.89908256880734,6.3066572571159725,22.647377087744054,7.2200825789825185,0.7292102564102563,1654,50,352,20,39,542,216,436,0.098,0.773,0.129,0.9531,3,0,0,0,3,0,49.0,5,2,6,2,32,22,4,1,12,0,43,5,2,12,4,60,70,33,0,5,14,13,4,4,6,10,0,2,4,2,18,20,1,1,7,1,2,7,15,7,0,1,1,7,53,15,34,54,12,43,1,0,1,2,73,16,2,7,22,223,71,3,0.0,0.2657337770283709,0.07295460554083104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978524161681719,0.12441198648355364,0.0,0.0,0.10167821130521312,0.0,0.05719090516439632,0.0,0.1482829103333907,0.0,0.0,0.12304159571032088,0.0,0.06989015349250652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229108339652306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633793130128767,0.0,0.0,0.07679872388373833,0.0,0.19319638053942745,0.0,0.0,0.08384927148861693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048213770604433735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542264781925974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649775567564561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468901217935108,0.0,0.06298820474616429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047671690462133,0.0,0.03780071047142796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465545847485514,0.0,0.11717644858633974,0.07171624028943176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393987161694768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010979785059037,0.07898764379536506,0.22496998508985447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605924158027545,0.07418738788763253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434372948555367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764467772248367,0.0,0.14609509756385414,0.0,0.13202822937174974,0.06615991171934846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494695287819758,0.0,0.1497078818877986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260203418675291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967241594737771,0.07945764547879636,0.05495692312344128,0.0,0.05765922822287273,0.0,0.0,0.07015683961612447,0.0,0.14346774456659572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065905374062977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24287215164753775,0.0,0.05182890783847283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134401190153556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478929273122108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111351901059547,0.0,0.0,0.07566072731449944,0.059573738490279575,0.06805835085671184,0.0,0.0,0.07673967626351992,0.0,0.0,0.0748136111450909,0.07620801854262205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862979231767006,0.06008895122725413,0.1306864072080515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718587199359128,0.0,0.07086337895480754,0.0,0.0,0.10151375012991054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409516120912863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491785902698994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592202367942713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AARambo,2018/04/08,"Medical advice? This is my first visit here. I guess I should offer background first. I'm a college student.  I'm treading thin ice with my education right now. I've had to appeal to keep my financial aid for the last two semesters. The first semester I made the mistake of letting my ex back into my life. Our relationship was really unhealthy, but long story short, I had a mental breakdown after she left again. I was two hundred miles from home and felt completely isolated despite living with two of my closest friends. I had a minor surgery and missed several weeks of school at the beginning of the semester and I was so afraid to ask for help that I virtually never went back to class. I successfully appealed my aid and was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. 

I never got much counciling for my problems, partially due to moving closer to home in an effort to be closer to my support system while I'm in school. Last semester I failed a class, which is against the terms of my agreement. I had to appeal again, but it put me four weeks behind in some of my class material because I struggled to find money for my supplies and gas in the meantime. 

My mental health issues are still very poorly managed. I'm trying not to fail one of my classes again because I can't concentrate on the things I should. I'm constantly afraid to seek help with my school work. I don't even fully understand why.  And all I can think about is how awful so many things in my life and in the world are. I feel like I should be doing more to help people but I can't even get a grasp on my own life. 

My mother has plenty of her own poorly managed mental health issues, and she isn't much help at all regarding my situation. Any time my issues come up, it turns into her ranting about things. I just hear things like ""What have I done to make you so unhappy? Why do you hate me?"" 

I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that she doesn't take any of the medication she is prescribed.  Neither did my ex. She would never really say WHY they were bad, only that she didn't want to take them.  I've partially bought into the presumably toxic idea that medicating my problem will do more harm than good. But I don't know what else to do. I can't manage things on my own. I just keep falling into these slumps and trying to distract myself from them until I realized I'm in an awful situation again. I can't keep living like this. Some days I feel like I'm only around because of what the alternative would do to the people around me. 

Can any of you offer advice of how to handle the medication situation? What were some of your experiences with begining treatment? What happens if I'm not longer able to financially obtain my medicine? Do I just begin a downward spiral like never before? Anything helps. ",4.384745133139404,5.902739188990825,5.377999552472591,80.18072499440592,70.87155963302752,8.179458491832625,27.421123293801745,8.700769036622559,2.0806742000447525,2218,77,414,39,41,729,250,545,0.129,0.773,0.099,-0.9464,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,1,5,3,9,23,26,1,4,22,2,48,10,0,4,7,71,87,22,0,10,10,3,4,5,1,7,10,2,2,0,20,22,0,3,12,0,4,6,17,14,0,8,18,6,74,12,71,58,14,67,0,4,0,0,33,29,0,5,36,297,94,17,0.06577753589319743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855409358848127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341929400455745,0.0,0.05031963491726302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054129307430818785,0.11711190518477987,0.061493116745488824,0.0,0.0,0.10115772979377707,0.0549214949413101,0.1202921260664341,0.0,0.055971838300671886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666152283092196,0.0689664949140266,0.07108214840281149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042421069011338526,0.0,0.056654095280043434,0.06676281432534234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673132566914143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494869084971275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689088418948228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434305182310565,0.0,0.0,0.06651819708283135,0.09398296957014676,0.06315674975256548,0.0,0.06011947614584469,0.16785101528485188,0.0,0.0,0.05081956106285169,0.0,0.03436604763652019,0.0,0.0,0.055171076313161434,0.05260830434604948,0.0,0.07246137161132539,0.0,0.058166857756706235,0.0,0.0,0.06494169872921451,0.0,0.13983688951644088,0.07413606351732753,0.0,0.22044647889130625,0.0,0.13196046334666747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425483155423328,0.0,0.20596397379647866,0.0,0.17539828859125992,0.0,0.0,0.03614961349572558,0.10723494192744598,0.0,0.0,0.07146748521043153,0.0672619870151993,0.139381856622621,0.16067790742870688,0.0,0.11616553858803115,0.0582110493671377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224029489642505,0.043907015979646316,0.0666880972032051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650557890585865,0.19886485541637067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991111087305257,0.09670811468356466,0.0,0.20292676294917875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04457256065723968,0.10005356019212748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120372244837344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258804367990542,0.0,0.0661245914499845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427754764650086,0.0,0.0,0.07062045699367937,0.0,0.05617365625044055,0.0,0.05230893665924378,0.0,0.19971113405687194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861978545619786,0.0,0.0,0.2218101189440164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05253002513261446,0.0,0.0,0.06876496234977382,0.0,0.0,0.07464356823253404,0.06199454913417673,0.0,0.09891304175267762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849836026991334,0.042147589019870826,0.0,0.0,0.03835541014825489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931725824125236,0.07154707055687902,0.19276528415360786,0.0684767346342147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427335589272722,0.0387972949069975,0.0,0.1055255433074428,0.0,0.0,0.06097643476992656,0.1780619853071499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047886829536919216,0.0,0.0,0.09345294849765047,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rhizodyne,2018/04/08,"How to spot the line between ""being down"" and a mental health problem? How can I notice the the difference? How do you get back to the healthy layer of the dichotomy? ",3.0377083333333315,5.3122831875,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333336,76.5,6.7666666666666675,26.291666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.6919041666666668,130,5,24,2,3,42,25,32,0.081,0.838,0.081,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,3,1,0,3,0,5,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060353763284158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41582249563659374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793717579078586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230525457125444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010876940392343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531225928831862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808296897006262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scryedxp,2018/04/08,"Generalized Anxiety about a certain subject I'm looking for somebody who won't judge. I have generalized anxiety disorder, for which I take medication and see a therapist for. There is a subject that causes me a ton on anxiety, but I can't bring myself to talk about with my therapist. I'm hoping to talk to somebody on here so somebody else knows my secret, and maybe it'll give me some comfort so I can seek some professional help for this... thing.",4.483903654485047,6.472629151162792,5.940963455149504,74.35104651162794,71.44186046511628,9.565448504983387,33.21594684385382,9.957137785484203,3.7103342192691033,361,18,64,10,7,122,56,86,0.071,0.784,0.145,0.8462,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,1,1,13,15,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,9,3,12,13,3,3,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,0,46,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750485391567504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21263941347084886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23723256215738225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291656533711425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985670920074788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387434254796067,0.0,0.0,0.20559131843360973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375825169413907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738224645659424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079528610119584,0.0,0.0,0.2085242430619665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494707425107485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563340256548625,0.33274717856991043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4806709732509005,0.13751732900425348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayyy_321,2018/04/08,"Can I see a psychiatrist on my parents insurance without them knowing? The past couple of months I’ve really been struggling. My bad days are becoming more frequent along with getting worse, and suicidal thoughts have become more prevalent (not actually planning it). On top of that I’ve been fighting with an (undiagnosed) eating disorder and intense feelings of self hate. 

I just want help. I don’t want to live like this anymore but I have no one to talk to. I’m not comfortable going to friends or extended family, and I don’t have a close relationship with my parents to talk to them about it.  

Is there any way I can prevent them from seeing I went to a psychiatrist on the insurance statements (Aetna)?  If there isn’t can anyone help me get an idea of how much it could cost out of pocket?

Edit: Forgot to add I’m 22. 

Edit 2: I’m in the USA",2.5483957219251323,5.026568181818185,4.214688057040998,82.13262032085564,79.3030303030303,7.276292335115862,27.28163992869875,8.313332769828598,2.191944741532976,670,29,125,14,17,224,104,165,0.13,0.767,0.103,-0.7672,2,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,3,2,5,7,2,1,8,0,14,1,0,1,0,28,30,7,1,4,7,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,2,5,0,1,2,7,4,0,1,5,3,14,3,25,24,3,14,0,0,2,0,13,7,0,2,5,83,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.14604433969340444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177237695408656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842023726203302,0.10464415278091924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249579393107567,0.0,0.33057037242845544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948950622704872,0.16559341311478812,0.0,0.09651684413690532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152070505739567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531372026872833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108397280462046,0.0,0.0756714365024085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562517797225196,0.0,0.15637995649986675,0.0,0.08505392727192823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775600804774924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006248210104731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894534179740972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224796528450863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311519916386602,0.0,0.1321505026073704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945535885417775,0.0,0.1100156390353193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141193963282016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323543594129649,0.0,0.14286522136760835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958745632773161,0.0,0.0,0.16067637613550345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385156423335333,0.0,0.15612563399657628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564547360043972,0.0,0.16370124780528916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405784018650332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881150734784475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654399347981325,0.11879132674083485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387341994879982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442646949717858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251399536157914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abohemianraspberry,2018/04/08,"I need to know if it's going to be okay. I feel afraid that I will be sad and alone for my whole life. How can I actually move forward and stop feeling like this? Hello. I'm not sure what's wrong, or if posting this will even help, but all I know is that I've been feeling like this for a couple of years, and I'm not sure if its ever going to go away. That in itself is something that is making me feel horrified and deeply disturbed. I feel very lonely and sad, and I feel as though my life isn't very meaningful. I mean, I constantly work for others and try my best to help and be kind, but for some reason, I just feel a bit cold and empty inside. I can't make connections that are strong, and I'm not entirely sure why. I am sure that it doesn't help that I'm a bit shy, but that doesn't mean I don't try to be friendly and outgoing. It's funny because at work people find me to be optimistic and friendly, but inside I’m very sad and a little cynical at times. My family doesn't really think much of it either. My family is very dysfunctional, and I guess I've gone through a bit of trauma in my life that hasn't been healed from them. To sum it up, my dad has been in and out of jail and is a drug addict and alcoholic, and that's caused much of a strain on my sister and mom, who have their personal issues as well. Basically, I'm supposed to be the good child who has the 4.0 at college and a part-time job, and I always help at home and never disrespect my family. They know I'm shy, but they seem to think I'm very happy, and that I have such a bright future.


The thing is, I'm not happy, and I can’t see myself in the future at all. I don't even really remember how it feels to be genuinely happy. It makes no sense to me, and I feel like a garbage person for not being happy. Where my family comes from, mental illness is kind of BS (not what I think). They think that if you have a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, and if you're not being beaten every day, then you have no reason to be depressed. I feel like it's just not that simple, but I feel guilty, so I can't reach out for help. My sister has mental illness as well, so there's a lot of pressure put on me to be the kid who is also good from the neck up. Also, we have so many problems that constantly pile one on top of the other, so they do not have time to deal with whatever problems I have. This concerns me a little, because there was a time when I was about eleven and told my mom how one night when the family was fighting, I was shaking and shivering in bed, and that it felt hard to breathe. When I told her, all she said was “well what would you like me to do about it?”. My mom is very close with me, and I am close to her, but she has done a few things that have hurt me that she has brushed under the rug, also including the occasional times she has hit me while she was drinking. 


I try to think of why I am sad, and I suppose it's due to a few reasons. My family issues take the cake, but I also don't like my job, the college I attend, and the fact that I am not doing the things I want to do with my life. I can't follow my passions because I'm taking care of my nephew and my mom and because I must focus on school and work. I supposedly have friends, but they confuse me. Every time they suggest we hang out, I ask them what's the best day for them, and they consistently leave me on read or change the subject. It makes zero sense to me. Why bring it up if you don't want to hang out? Most of these friends of mine are juniors/seniors in high school, and I'm currently a college freshman. They have their own lives, and I understand that, but it hurts to see they only use me for a quick laugh or vent and that’s it. I would love to make friends my age, but I know no one at my school and there are limited clubs. I just signed up for an honors society, got accepted, but have gotten zero information on meetings, so it's almost useless. It's a community college, so most people are busy trying to leave ASAP, so they can transfer. I got accepted to a university but didn't go because my mom wanted me home and because I felt uncomfortable leaving my family if they ever fought and I wasn’t by. The police are very familiar with my family, and I don’t want anyone being taken away. 


I feel so utterly guilty and unhappy and alone. I've dealt with these feelings for so long, and I'm afraid my life won't improve. I know I have it good for having a home and a job and schooling, but I suppose I am ungrateful. I try to smile and think of all the things I have in my life and how lucky I am, but it hurts to do it, because deep down, I know I am lying. I try to fake it until I make it, or ignore my feelings, and it results in me being moody at random times since those feelings have been pent up. I feel so alone in my life, and I fear that I will be alone for my whole life. Even though I can start conversations, I cannot stand the small talk or bring the courage to show people who I am, because it has never been good enough for anyone to stay and not feel bored with me. I spent all four years of high school making small-talk and trying to advance conversations. It never worked, and I was in a ton of clubs as well. There is something wrong with me when it comes to trying to make friends, and I am not exactly sure what. This not only makes me feel sad and lonely but also insecure. If I cannot sustain a simple friendship, how can I ever even start a relationship with someone? In high school, I seldom got hit on, and now I have a few guys come up to me complimenting me and asking me out, and I really dislike it. Just based on my appearance they want to date me? It is concerning to me. I have all these problems, and I am sure no one wants to be invested with someone who has so many problems like me. I also hear that people who feel unhappy shouldn’t even be in relationships, because they will ruin it. I don’t think that is entirely true for others, but I feel like that is true for me. I have been trying to work on myself inside and out to be the best I can be, but I feel like that is something that is never-ending. It’s a lifetime process, so how can I be good enough for someone else? 


I just want to be happy and not feel so alone, and I want to chase after my dreams like there is no tomorrow and take risks, but I am always so afraid. I want to stop dreaming and worrying, and I just want to do the things I want to do. However, I’m afraid that even if I do, I still won’t be happy. 


What’s wrong with me? What should I do? Can I please get some advice? This is a serious post by the way. I really do not know where to turn to anymore. I am afraid, I just want to be happy. I keep trying to push every day, can someone just tell me it will be worth it? I usually do not get so down and try to think positively, but lately, it is almost inescapable. 


Thank you for reading. ",5.407477904837488,4.1784770555174795,6.3416618267739295,83.78860182713468,68.02673063742289,9.515821940045454,28.450281375130768,8.492936620318861,1.700358601782042,5340,135,1215,67,76,1786,416,1459,0.142,0.682,0.17600000000000002,0.9965,5,9,6,0,3,0,166.0,2,7,18,14,69,102,4,13,52,1,148,22,3,21,23,282,269,142,0,31,59,9,25,10,6,12,14,2,5,5,93,91,4,5,52,8,3,21,46,43,4,8,29,32,192,59,154,203,29,131,0,13,3,2,85,60,0,27,57,867,285,22,0.0,0.0,0.02844944823284368,0.03178143688264768,0.0,0.028488300244169755,0.0,0.03115604758721212,0.058385704939560724,0.15097030742976028,0.0,0.13988346236869953,0.04851581805932946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028912273255895845,0.040769377487144015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450886312195155,0.0,0.05478103328453223,0.02241711405635032,0.0,0.15994441446696114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178387517403047,0.0,0.09548366912723634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029723766633812036,0.029948504323774883,0.03084036141777758,0.07533904660553661,0.0,0.06300879354903315,0.0,0.0,0.032257609189093546,0.0,0.0564044652459955,0.030055806884475875,0.02510972356222648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029833982155037412,0.0,0.02855916819638006,0.03380861147428482,0.029831138471511132,0.024353869398538442,0.0,0.02582120045454534,0.06024637369539086,0.0,0.1155330115832182,0.07911257806491243,0.07368882294358357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986534715225212,0.03280560547627938,0.3242976320752476,0.12496288434923457,0.055983544332910896,0.0,0.02664561880771546,0.0,0.035252326782122374,0.0,0.1351427596046768,0.0,0.030462827155349363,0.0,0.06627404543038383,0.1222621655156826,0.06994975240591826,0.0,0.03211568380196276,0.028866383803605643,0.0,0.21723986049286345,0.02611566066070649,0.0,0.029919731071727462,0.0,0.03285792583413629,0.0,0.09770432513069778,0.09240629292140523,0.08772951203437519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936277399386129,0.0,0.0,0.06085701213352511,0.08679055567195879,0.025912822471432482,0.0,0.0607174215412685,0.11215336827647132,0.0,0.03288623019787687,0.09260751280936934,0.0,0.0,0.16473489384231574,0.1424284623432346,0.05843859836497925,0.025742927735270846,0.025799782886848453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024785121744325646,0.026312021849940533,0.0,0.1751406893742388,0.059113809068387785,0.0,0.0635130538958824,0.0,0.0,0.05875940678326873,0.0,0.0,0.17072016016891614,0.0,0.030985379949556406,0.042862109330758034,0.021616827508053632,0.08993939265721929,0.0,0.0,0.02735842873856369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902021352783675,0.04434484789532733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03157021938173527,0.0,0.08084500325014918,0.050911132910148524,0.0,0.03200160577646458,0.0,0.0,0.05584166984031156,0.0,0.0,0.11158321227415244,0.0,0.02930715253269865,0.0,0.0,0.05832244593146959,0.0,0.07470548822448286,0.0899234474488402,0.0,0.06259954003974814,0.03302504393359103,0.0,0.027731496356525092,0.0,0.0,0.17702838051438258,0.04646286486375729,0.02654010004107385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0241159388654694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880610001458648,0.0673309816625585,0.0,0.0,0.041269759231318016,0.031073574706675995,0.02328188991946333,0.04874698467860946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648600317519201,0.0,0.06575903620466737,0.04686469057389032,0.025481298603697716,0.026840472759867288,0.0,0.0,0.09684089734480156,0.14944223239248622,0.0572860046020201,0.0,0.10199725981091597,0.0,0.0,0.05571451930085499,0.0,0.2177251986777587,0.0317104554311571,0.0,0.030349648487189688,0.0,0.02517911993419549,0.032108278274107886,0.16838187417292208,0.20634469835123365,0.02314055928301633,0.0,0.0,0.10484939253845443,0.0,0.07891904735046965,0.06509731181078349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061198705936322,0.029606625467829106,0.0,0.04141938356356703,0.09562378136939233,0.0,0.03754758209440229
mentalhealth,PLEASEHELPME116,2018/04/09,"ANXIETY PLEASE HELP I’m new to this whole reddit thing and I really need help, I suffer really bad anxiety and it’s been going on for years I’ve been the doctors and they refer to me therapy which NEVER get back to me despite calling my appointments are always rearranged and the same thing happens or they somehow got ‘cancelled’ I really need help I’m starting to think I should start drinking but not heavily just enough to ease my mind and get me through a day without an awkward conversation and the feeling of people judging me all the time please help me I never thought I would have to do this online but I have no options and I’m scared it will affect me my whole life. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my age as I know there are people who relate mental illness to an age thing you know like oh your depressed? It’s just puberty of whatever else. I’m between the ages of 16-25. ",2.7223230309072797,5.009761830508474,4.070588235294121,84.42299102691926,77.58757062146894,7.1025589896975765,26.795945496842805,8.124751697461798,1.9364685277500828,712,29,134,13,17,234,107,177,0.117,0.7140000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.8451,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,2,0,5,8,0,2,8,0,11,4,0,1,3,34,30,11,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,10,7,1,0,8,1,0,1,6,5,0,0,4,2,23,3,16,23,5,14,0,2,0,0,12,1,0,3,13,92,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109472609052077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129371065782334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116535436610036,0.1098512690899756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434256208576653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484853283816701,0.0,0.1133167309503814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466233959293705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888360043693495,0.0,0.0,0.10990566500646112,0.0,0.0,0.13594180162633773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304642153194518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747455164913056,0.0,0.07477141431303602,0.0,0.105224539194733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634248394692095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527409514035177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460935281754875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929282415107466,0.064276007288683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325865629855081,0.0,0.13284313241378376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951075423558916,0.20294205816965855,0.12706628476160908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242119351248545,0.0,0.0,0.28883769610327503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528516997211812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171950418594844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18624475062869286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045602920952922,0.0,0.2622177950040644,0.08430153162915867,0.0,0.10444790412392943,0.07671660222932422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937752201761616,0.0,0.1268239530432516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934599923366739,0.0,0.0,0.08472353842296683
mentalhealth,floop21,2018/04/09,"Starting therapy this week, how can I prepare to make the most out of initial appointments? Hello, I have initial appointments scheduled with 3 different therapists this week. My school counselor told me I should try a few at a time so I can find someone I feel comfortable with more quickly. I have been to therapy in the past but due to social anxiety I tend to freeze up when meeting someone for the first time. I struggled a lot with remembering my weekly struggles while meeting with my therapist. I'd like to prepare somehow for these initial appointments so I can effectively communicate what I need help with. Any tips? ",5.352477876106192,7.962131017699118,5.629389380530974,74.8292168141593,70.68141592920355,9.121769911504424,36.9637168141593,9.642632912329526,4.22506796460177,507,29,81,13,10,161,73,113,0.07400000000000001,0.795,0.131,0.7563,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,6,0,7,0,0,3,0,18,13,6,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,14,2,17,10,4,17,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,3,14,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103356076328973,0.0,0.1249060100913275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058910141080466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255746101642188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492316847390721,0.1388828346594162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944073883790732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976860865442495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881176868362802,0.0,0.0,0.10898827445888948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106739239272875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586581263438032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496034865456407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524444826142312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664397425738016,0.27668715209954997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556788647524567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413839188345918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37344161904178463,0.3791530032408398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041558051492768,0.0,0.0,0.15601761099439446,0.0,0.11085396761676647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929114727955938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nonametoday2018,2018/04/09,"What is this paranoia and where does it come from? Im not sure where this should be posted.

Im paranoid quite a lot and dont understand why. I think i can see how it relates to my past, but it seems quite excessive to me. 

I get paranoid about:
What people are thinking about me.

That people are judging me constantly.

I hate cars passing as i feel each person in them has thought something negative of me

I constantly feel that anyone i let close to me is going to emotionally hurt me in someway. 

I worry that they are only spending time with me for something, not just because they actually want to.

It sometimes gets so bad i find myself confronting those i am paranoid about. 
Ill ask questions to try and find their hidden motive. Such as a boyfriend - id feel he is with me just to pass time, not because he wants to. I feel im not good enough, so why would he want to spend time with me?

And loads more.

I know these are irrational, but at the time they feel so true its a battle to fight the urge to not confront. Knowing that if i did, theyd just think im a freak",3.0655720453318978,4.467322270642208,3.863470048569887,90.2035213167836,74.0,6.597301672962764,26.126281705342695,7.048011613610866,1.0195528332433894,837,29,179,8,17,267,120,218,0.24,0.72,0.04,-0.9939,0,0,2,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,6,3,13,11,5,0,6,0,17,1,0,2,2,47,40,13,0,6,11,0,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,15,10,0,0,17,0,2,5,7,8,0,0,2,6,30,3,25,33,4,19,0,1,1,0,13,6,0,4,7,119,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.1053466467016732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754833129140798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092156969829773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013632375465426,0.1316144074597926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299203111236154,0.0,0.2333178857734626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447047948530432,0.0,0.12652022142913044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143269994461114,0.0,0.11154440312515904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27292163816011755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973343431977894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280207136544355,0.0,0.061352230738390474,0.0905459329133336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658133009833302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556601918442305,0.0,0.4664314627048791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865639379038412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103893520098478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177785953834806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210319205550255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305344276242064,0.1496821647520893,0.09426047717993387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338922245084907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093217079297172,0.22964280600162906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602463867645582,0.09827644176333476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621513076408775,0.1067683696897783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174451292255154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075159498170735,0.0,0.08570269765293688,0.2517932675037404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329306416654087,0.0,0.0,0.11238297736153884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102059430168014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948217514617044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963160647830937,0.0,0.0766867801997445,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SierraMtnSoul,2018/04/09,"Collective Unconscious Manic Communication Event Hi,

I have bipolar disorder and had quite an experience about 2 weeks ago. It may seem far fetched, but I'll describe it in detail nonetheless.

I was clearly in a hypo-manic state for a couple weeks.  I was smoking a good amount of marijuana to help with depression symptoms.  Long story short I had an incredible experience:

Symptoms started not long after I gave a donation to the funeral fund for a young unarmed man shot by police.  I gave a decent donation and made two points: that I was sorry the man had died in order for change to occur, and that I could offer whatever assistance was necessary.  Also about this time, I questioned my girlfriend of one year about her inattentiveness to important life details.  We had an intense discussion (she was very focused on the fact that I might leave her despite me remaining calm and merely trying to assess her issues).  My psychologist attributed that behavior to rejection sensitive dysphoria.  She had just started therapy, and I learned some ugly details about her past relationship with an abusive man for 10 years.

Maybe a day or two after these events, I was working from home and started hearing voices.  I have one previous manic episode where this happened, I followed the voices and ended up in jail for 10 days before treatment.  I knew I was taking a risk by not ignoring them as a side effect.

The voices questioned me on my ethics throughout life, to the point where I was instructed to call my mother and admit I may have been too rough sexually with a women many years ago.  This is despite talking about it in therapy years ago and it not being deemed a big deal.  She didn't think so either, and I told my Dad as well.  I've talked with the girl since then as well.

I had voices questioning whether or not I would actually support people of color in life or death situations (I am white).  I had a feeling that the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and only absolutely truthful responses would be accepted.  I was listening to Ripple from the Grateful Dead on repeat.  Anytime I felt overwhelmed by the voices, the refrain would come in and I would feel a clear head for a moment.  Another important theme was cultural norms.  I think the part about the women seemed to be part of accepting the toxic nature of male/female relations, and trying to design a new template for how a man should be.  This sounds like it is related to ""archetypes"", which I knew nothing about.  A few weeks ago I posted on FB that ""Culture is not innate and can change overnight if we so choose"".  These discussions lasted the afternoon, I must have calmed down enough that my then gf saw no issue.  Well, I did one thing where I forced her to make coffee from the grounds in the garbage while I went out and bought two real coffees.

After few more days, in which I proposed to my now fiancee after I felt I now understood her issues, I woke up totally manic and went to the hospital with her voluntarily, not really knowing why.

The real catch are the coincidences.

There were numerous coincidences that occurred.  Some men were talking outside a home that I walked by not long after proposing.  I heard one man laugh and say ""he's getting married"" after I passed.  The day after the main experience, there was a NYTimes article about whether we control our own opinions (I could look it up).  I also felt the news tone had changed, much less hateful/partisan Trump/Liberal hating in sites like CNN and FoxNews.  We traveled to Yosemite and stayed in Groveland, the ""name"" for our room was almost exactly the same as the name of a character in the story (Alice Monroe) my fiancee opened up to that night.  While in the hospital, a man told me I was like Steve Jobs and Einstein and changed the world.  I mentioned to someone in the hospital that I wanted to get the print paper for our city since I liked reading the paper in the hospital.  The day I got back, a High School age man dropped off a free news print to my fiancee while I was in the living room, giving no explanation.  My first day back to work, my Lyft driver gave me a card that read ""You're Wonderful"" and a lollipop.  I think there were a few more weird coincidences as well.  My fiancee felt the same sort of shift in the news tone, though of course she may have been feeding off of me.

Before I dated my fiancee (who I had only met twice briefly) she had a psychotic episode (she used Adderall without a prescription for years) and dreams in which I saved her from her abusive boyfriend.  She described it as lasting thousands of years, and berating her to convince her to leave.  She lived next to my best friend.  She broke up with him 2 weeks later, went home for 2 weeks, and I met her at a party after that and we have been dating ever since.  We had a 3 month break in which I knew she went back to him occasionally.

I've been fine since I got out of the hospital.  I'm convinced something happened at some collective unconscious level, everything felt was too real and the real world coincidences were one after another.

Any thoughts?",7.221384688995215,7.472520302105262,7.157100478468903,74.51433971291867,63.87368421052632,10.235406698564596,35.0622009569378,9.975734382208264,3.4751789473684216,4037,169,713,79,55,1289,424,950,0.084,0.795,0.121,0.9878,2,0,1,0,0,0,107.0,9,0,1,7,33,31,1,2,74,0,65,10,2,7,8,134,123,51,4,10,17,2,9,4,8,10,6,10,5,11,32,43,2,3,28,4,5,10,11,8,4,11,65,23,109,24,122,42,21,138,0,4,4,0,89,55,0,20,71,506,141,10,0.0,0.12038573774379348,0.04957608762454787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013404340672132,0.0,0.050871545915661065,0.0,0.0,0.08125377020622111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03454756472059405,0.10654207978060708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719237592777958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645867832836968,0.0,0.05331427872703212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187521669418437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21496999836437813,0.043762010725092164,0.0,0.0,0.056979525826476335,0.08112361277899842,0.05621219949955678,0.0,0.19658115606073606,0.05237533267907341,0.0437562741238685,0.0,0.052725161470742486,0.0,0.05822427299271565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044996095735442686,0.052492749190401575,0.0,0.0,0.045953932864236165,0.0,0.0,0.0456581733022952,0.14908430889001367,0.0,0.0,0.051374723246302385,0.0,0.2438927001910196,0.0,0.0,0.043212733933703534,0.0,0.0,0.03925002479925061,0.0,0.053084607335250965,0.0487345601601823,0.0,0.042610877941562084,0.08126308874156568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984928486972224,0.0,0.0,0.05015712911165588,0.05213820658927429,0.0,0.05725831295502814,0.0,0.03405196574874045,0.05367582102632238,0.15287769169645776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15907439793243974,0.0504138212425142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02791982450292606,0.08282193002007547,0.0,0.10758540627695977,0.0,0.0,0.10765030658642376,0.09927849386134864,0.0,0.08971939495422858,0.1348763202671992,0.04266145649280606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807072448296098,0.03391118360764344,0.05150594405574263,0.05103812073295412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389361554609395,0.0,0.0,0.04055021475128062,0.0,0.037345815471764805,0.0,0.0,0.049065545231489816,0.05402922687175523,0.047674874019073735,0.0,0.04874654192975561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212605486685306,0.07727545529048202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100287042184694,0.04849690681535428,0.035220181884838914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604990757319422,0.0,0.04865492459548555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707318861179451,0.05403490395344016,0.10163285650786348,0.2312982893377796,0.03254549789454208,0.0,0.0,0.05454306629898285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04040033046642255,0.0,0.05141502471672358,0.0,0.09249770430918663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809800858809082,0.05710434123657005,0.0,0.0,0.04304494618025633,0.03911038531022943,0.0,0.05686944134953367,0.10787519584652984,0.054148897717026884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765027959623852,0.0,0.10560687371755498,0.03819729313443281,0.1224998102268788,0.0,0.0,0.11619458490315315,0.0,0.03375104341646377,0.09765691869392094,0.049913375482117835,0.04033165346528917,0.029623451443088013,0.0,0.0,0.09708827630723656,0.0,0.06898337033321687,0.0,0.1488805102843432,0.0,0.0,0.04387720443469223,0.0,0.04191753175698449,0.02996473710900724,0.0,0.20375422893996492,0.061863978316690924,0.18271084308292967,0.1883783745341311,0.04584151714380074,0.0,0.0,0.04897197093748728,0.055093339717529895,0.07396991267031998,0.0,0.0,0.14435506601717366,0.0,0.0,0.19629156299625666
mentalhealth,axotllll,2018/04/09,"Everyone is leaving and I don't think I can go on anymore I've been suicidal for over a year now, and now that I'm losing people I love for this I just don't want to go on anymore. I've tried in every way to get better. I don't want to try anymore, I really need to hurt myself again. They are leaving because I'm just a mess. I'm annoying, I'm not interesting, sometimes I just go on complaining and crying all day and people just start to realize I'm not that great of a person. I've lost everyone I loved besides just one person that right now it's ""too busy studying to listen"" even if I told them that I don't think I will last long. My (kind of) SO decided to just say ""then kill yourself"" and not talk to me anymore. I don't know what to do. 

I'm sorry if this is confusionary. 
I don't want to go on. I'm too weak for this. Nobody cares and after all I said you can't tell me otherwise. I don't know what to do, please help.",2.4568432055749128,2.8584674682926834,4.683641114982578,87.56371951219515,74.3170731707317,8.003484320557492,24.88675958188153,8.192908349453996,1.2285052264808365,721,21,170,11,14,253,101,205,0.2,0.708,0.092,-0.9537,0,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,1,2,3,14,15,2,0,3,0,16,3,0,0,2,29,44,10,2,6,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,10,6,0,0,6,0,0,4,11,8,0,1,4,3,22,7,23,39,2,23,0,3,0,2,15,7,0,2,11,103,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690419331394624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207688495437034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457204409257684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055168438948698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298790668413909,0.0762538316701552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809518962010085,0.0,0.09962074946027123,0.22596325793475905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061774558555874985,0.0,0.26878988475336163,0.0,0.0,0.13035798893546416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792525463663495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657639585445646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081300571766458,0.12312684877326585,0.12996120119968904,0.09637988152430486,0.0,0.25039427862171765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463705095688144,0.0,0.13227825700981224,0.1290709190532454,0.0,0.21342911164529735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767209752913648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801212373162138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394290529102304,0.2064820014941805,0.0,0.12978999354451526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574639302573985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097474268914228,0.1124715665280836,0.09402773064942448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694056368785873,0.13235793993916556,0.08368957829228375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933335632723816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503535431219397,0.10334536349148044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515244774979659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298162896737952,0.0,0.16055189871211914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20921979082880796,0.09385194795968667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614149851862549
mentalhealth,RemarkableNebula,2018/04/09,"Can’t eat after meeting a girl Im from the USA (if that matters). As stupid as this sounds... I had a friend ask around to get me a prom date. He found a girl (let’s call her Joyce). This was super last minute, so on top of doing a bunch of stuff for prom I had to meet her and her family last Thursday. The whole day I was nervous so I didn’t eat much. I then met her and her family, which went great, hung out with her more over the weekend, and now we really like each other. The weird part is, since Thursday, I’ve basically lost my appetite. I’m not nervous about her, though I like her A LOT already. I’m far less hungry and I’m eat less than I used to, and my intake is about 1/4 of what it used to be. I’m 18, 120lbs and I’m skinny, but I usually have no problem with eating... why could this be?

Tl;dr - Met a girl whom I like, since then I am not hungry nearly as much as normal.
",0.6704602255409924,2.0963771554404147,2.6552636391344118,96.2464797317891,80.55440414507771,5.5774459006400505,17.570557756781472,6.2272716619740125,-0.4816068881438582,673,12,166,5,17,226,114,193,0.08,0.8320000000000001,0.08800000000000001,0.3552,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,0,3,7,12,1,2,11,0,15,5,1,2,0,24,29,17,0,4,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,10,12,5,0,1,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,10,1,22,6,24,15,10,20,0,1,0,0,21,7,0,2,15,109,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845152735039496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975564565525045,0.1257625838737831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736492207101286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740715372043373,0.0,0.0,0.08675740524967586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506100607059645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25363612978233385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474995646230788,0.10393357255004626,0.0,0.0702836866471784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831413223308526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453099325673269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21931143015840124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756078291700627,0.0,0.19716615334332485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684977508655767,0.11436822467637928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977825003488617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180579972891052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567731321148372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12872212231925034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618006953881846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256070741950468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399877904597287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216999118908684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323725721820876,0.14816012693040698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247058922678484,0.12138776146608625,0.15019220118836998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrookeBasketcase,2018/04/09,"RANT: Can we talk about how I've been trying to make a psychiatrist appointment for 3 weeks and It's literally impossible? I've called about 100 offices, left so many messages. I'm already Diagnosed with ADHD, and I'm running out of medication.

I've had the people  I call laugh at me, saying I Won't get a call back for awhile. This was 3 weeks ago. I still haven't heard from anyone and I have 4 days medication left. On top of only having 4 days left, my prescription ALWAYS needs a prior Authorization which generally takes another week.

I have no job because as I lost it a few months ago. I didn't have insurance until a month ago when it finally came through from the state. Luckily, I was seeing an MD who was writing me 3 Prescriptions at a time so I paid for them out of pocket \[All $200 With GoodRX coupon, for 2 months... that's half my rent\]. They didn't take my new insurance, so I was forced to find a new one. It has been nothing short of a nightmare.

I'm tapped for cash and I'm tapped for time. I can't pay for the $150 appointment at my old counselor and then another $200 for the prescription again. I don't even have the money to do that let alone time to daydream about it.

I finally got a Primary Care Physician! Yeah I scheduled that appointment on 4/3.... their next available appointment was 5/8. Tell me; PLEASE TELL ME\-\- How that's a thing? Despite how great and renowned the ""US Healthcare system"" is we take psychiatry as a complete joke. It's disgusting, honestly.  If my PCP won't write me a RX \[which I highly doubt he will\] I will have to go to whatever MD he recommends me. Which will easily take another month.

I cried on the phone with my PCP office... it's a nightmare to have called every office in a radius and no one calls you back...        ",1.736991425192194,4.114463435393262,3.3440212891780017,87.77380544056774,81.78089887640449,7.1181549379065645,23.132465996451806,8.20500826718156,1.4526359550561798,1397,49,289,30,38,461,187,356,0.08199999999999999,0.8320000000000001,0.086,-0.2314,2,1,0,0,0,0,64.0,3,1,3,2,15,8,1,1,22,1,30,5,0,4,1,27,49,19,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,1,0,17,15,0,0,1,1,6,3,9,3,0,3,15,3,36,5,40,28,2,50,0,1,1,0,24,15,0,2,30,173,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330366040715984,0.0,0.2285871939419523,0.0,0.0,0.08902557214518314,0.09485573321975238,0.0,0.07152314475535065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27040035956778913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060103162313632365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132191318855128,0.0,0.05239861493210201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43885875188624,0.09831195674314767,0.08763893297747198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012432305555247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441977432114501,0.1108703619839086,0.0,0.0,0.08724458817075936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056773815510253026,0.0,0.0724225151173053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883234757601944,0.07856317907489764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490900665891795,0.0,0.04885136780589143,0.0,0.06874769875138156,0.09476794217559248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081833416118283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529910071984773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801777326701377,0.08789689913447092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383226523572777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737699295125619,0.08714694901914419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318535319678846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744403631410537,0.0,0.0,0.06373605742849693,0.0,0.1660356934437518,0.09141628924694292,0.0,0.0,0.0824780999997678,0.0,0.09019745596782662,0.0,0.1164934323860868,0.06537420375542029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059591789868781726,0.0,0.0,0.0943550196166836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835648980054677,0.0,0.0,0.06849663351723638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864540471528552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25851599216223525,0.0690890143031714,0.15026048670211992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710603919373361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036672718130972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835918909758653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339573782245802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068486625463928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,twatspatula,2018/04/09,"Help me cope with loneliness I am a first year at university in England, doing a foundation year to get onto my desired course next year. The first semester was great, going out, making friends, happiest I've ever been.
However the second semester I have been feeling lonely, I realised that although my flat mates are really nice and genuine people, we're just different, we have different interests, morals and values and that I just didn't click with any of them. I haven't joined any clubs or societies and I have no friends on my course, as a result, I skipped most of my classes because I just couldn't bring myself to leave my room if theyre going to be online anyway.
Now I'm in the holidays, I've realised that all my friends have moved on. Let me illustrate, me and 3 other friends (including my boyfriend) were just drinking and playing card games, now my boyfriend and one friend live together as they go to the same uni, they kept on going on about all their really fun times at uni and how much fun they're having, then the third friend is moving in with them next year and they were all huggy about how great it will be and this was the main part of all the conversations and if it wasn't one would chirp in 'oh, do you remember when so and so did this...' I just felt so left out.
I know next year I can join societies and make more friends on my course, but please can someone help me find motivation to study for exams, attend lectures and not be so upset about all my friends having a great time together with out me. ",8.359785714285714,6.631852816666669,7.831809523809527,77.07900000000002,62.5,11.504761904761903,35.42857142857143,10.290406445055957,3.3048571428571423,1215,42,242,22,14,383,157,300,0.035,0.772,0.194,0.9913,3,2,1,0,0,0,30.0,1,1,6,3,19,18,0,1,11,0,30,1,0,6,6,55,43,29,0,5,10,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,1,0,8,22,1,1,6,5,0,8,6,2,0,6,11,3,35,16,33,25,11,42,1,1,1,0,21,17,0,4,17,172,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287031765582625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576855188299737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19773624377044285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927012922724398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559817722038597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047847729138627365,0.0,0.09085955987874456,0.0,0.08649002939753471,0.16098431741903213,0.0,0.0,0.5848867105405942,0.0,0.04944022571236507,0.0,0.2151214493809273,0.0,0.0,0.3129894513394171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685687675413929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520061273716026,0.0,0.0,0.10019941818722397,0.10281568125814967,0.09676550108601163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835599500491797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633240827399028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011532509017896,0.06956387695121148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019199695385518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824736104539436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247497804863373,0.0,0.06560446914564165,0.0,0.0,0.10387523158491227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124469540977198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719724849640523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017962124079894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035893071421428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722237768040454,0.0,0.0,0.3046928186005257
mentalhealth,pinguismymaster,2018/04/09,"Am I lazy or is it my anxiety? I have a problem! I hate the way I look, I have so many image problems and insecurities about my body. I feel like every time I make progress I can get so far and then I just mess it up and undo my hard work. I'm trying so hard this time because I'm the biggest I've ever been, (119kg) and I can't stand it. The eating works in theory, but I have no self control and a personality that doesn't seem to like forming habits! I want to go to the gym to after work but something about the idea of going home and then going back out again is freaking me out and stopping me, why? This shouldn't be so hard. Even the words ""let's go to the gym"" set off alarms inside me, when I used to love it.",2.207008055235903,2.6815863291139266,4.127008055235905,91.05717491369393,74.9493670886076,6.7581127733026465,22.59148446490219,6.574015621080383,0.289637974683544,552,13,135,4,11,189,96,158,0.182,0.7290000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.8306,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,12,10,1,2,9,0,13,3,1,3,1,27,28,17,0,5,4,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,7,9,1,2,3,2,0,4,4,7,0,0,1,5,19,3,15,24,1,24,0,0,1,1,3,7,0,2,12,87,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342104319339885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400535058681445,0.0,0.09037995107900454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468713831699192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662899339660387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517104026548424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792653250537467,0.13411267206303765,0.12491825178589586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496639549237409,0.1059193540313478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746147164575193,0.0,0.3370458733048657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3984444708555209,0.14637934533368374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487202106858746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737125519449894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160930215547966,0.0,0.14486794992579854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450385783637645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338134457499731,0.0,0.09896692541805882,0.15031574783495502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294578227510332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837359707172935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349733691047813,0.15467099034537896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414035649279415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239547843751243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290708242532565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066107019212113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805191552978848,0.0,0.0,0.08744955460565063,0.1176845318805837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378459627692318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238124145911788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2camryn,2018/04/09,"Happy Monday! Happy Monday everyone! Make today *your* day. You are bright, strong, worthwhile, and special. I am thankful for your existence. ",4.167424242424239,5.796458772727277,4.076363636363638,72.36787878787881,120.36363636363636,5.1030303030303035,26.393939393939394,6.42735559955562,2.661248484848485,111,5,12,2,6,34,19,22,0.0,0.379,0.621,0.9719,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22725472319472706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367123756893163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.750226080473632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352151182256625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244224112855481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340132366153687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Double-O-stoopid,2018/04/09,"I need help I need help but I dont know what help I need. I know I struggle with depression and anxiety, life has been very stressful but everything was finally looking up. Then out of nowhere a fight with my SO (which was started by something trivial) ended with me in a panic attack. I lost control, I wasn't myself. Like a straw that broke the camels back.

 
 I couldn't control my volume, I wanted to bang my head against a wall, I wanted to die, but I knew I wouldn't actually kill myself. The thoughts are still there though. And because I lost control to such a degree, now I just feel crazy. It's hard for any of my emotions to seem valid. 
 
 We love each other and would never hurt each other on purpose but found ourselves at a communication impasse. I just want to know how to talk myself down, how to feel better, because I can't rely on anyone else to do so. Loosing control is so humiliating and I can't seem to have a productive conversation after being triggered.
 
 Have any of you had a similar struggle? What kind of things help you keep your unreasonable side in check?",3.7341620421753596,5.456975679245282,4.7471143174250825,83.2396170921199,72.86792452830188,7.063706992230856,28.036625971143174,7.724431198458867,1.7033842397336292,852,33,164,11,17,278,126,212,0.22,0.6409999999999999,0.139,-0.9662,0,0,1,0,1,1,24.0,1,3,0,7,13,16,3,4,10,0,18,3,1,7,1,45,40,15,2,9,6,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,11,0,5,10,0,1,0,7,12,0,0,10,4,30,4,28,26,2,19,0,5,1,1,12,10,0,2,10,119,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.10458654488433557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576424245731712,0.0,0.0819879584792527,0.0,0.0,0.07493868235277551,0.10981261819741857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121926108055648,0.0,0.08241033310182423,0.0,0.13066477732508786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947868575649184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4808198485100426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923089688376554,0.0,0.11122988381929504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560734709236512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953027960721513,0.12055653331945508,0.09492451727724764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632124720250793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838097672030096,0.0,0.0,0.11740408146846243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751096245964672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600701895939874,0.0,0.10999163396947514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873463893441293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473218209558518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526134033627967,0.11857235696399004,0.11160542168188582,0.17670038833956975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570029666236812,0.0523598934072496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999932322426141,0.0,0.2339865673705721,0.0,0.09672888667940813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384049014157637,0.08265933885630511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574581459389725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19513470640713906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250792397475461,0.0,0.0,0.07585844004575497,0.0,0.08558944289974099,0.0,0.12276766726728094,0.22408345717255804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861425505352719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120176654321739,0.0,0.10529809299845533,0.08508433173170153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842992714035089,0.1896423340017696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761334663276792,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Etorneau,2018/04/09,"Incredible guilt about my mental health Does anyone else just feel huge crushing guilt about the state of their mental health? Like it makes them ungrateful and entitled?

I have struggled with my mental health on and off for the last fifteen years which includes (but is not limited to) a long term eating disorder, depression and suicidal urges.

My life is lovely. I have a job in the industry I’ve always wanted to work in, my partner is perfection, amazing kids, stable home. And I cannot get past this. I have a telephone appointment with my GP tomorrow morning because those suicidal urges are back hard. I feel so entitled, ungrateful and ugly for not absolutely appreciating what I have and not managing to be happy despite all these incredible things and people around me. 

Anyone else? ",7.101428571428574,8.965137714285717,7.064285714285719,69.35071428571429,64.71428571428571,10.742857142857144,34.0,10.793553405168565,4.2353000000000005,640,28,99,18,10,204,93,140,0.223,0.615,0.162,-0.8884,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,3,6,9,0,3,6,0,10,6,0,1,2,22,16,9,2,1,5,0,3,1,1,0,4,0,1,2,7,10,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,14,5,15,15,2,14,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,8,67,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511934094217567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347685166117795,0.28351445441074835,0.0,0.12316196377034265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638358783672536,0.0,0.084337650950606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916174737850782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585625432826925,0.0,0.12107212998549535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156789013412366,0.2311494689111969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990911967930145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228282909855767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727750109827803,0.12393556426704053,0.0,0.0,0.44118279588759307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877760574534734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729228897048087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277475173633622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772159456383682,0.0675914428416309,0.0,0.0,0.12243652157954628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486742408494984,0.0,0.09235054801331756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182766231894344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207194337915354,0.09591535157919023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446347882092605,0.0,0.3026676713096653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191443718376023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160316446365744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072137337697608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909368279421667
mentalhealth,Fellerbotpotter,2018/04/09,"Being in a relationship with someone who experienced childhood abuse I am in a new relationship with someone who experienced severe physical abuse as a young child. I'm having a difficult time dealing with the waves of emotions they go through. When he is down on himself he completely shuts off. Isolates himself. I try to give him the space he needs. And if I am upset with him for something I try to talk about it in a calm manor as I am a person that needs to have resolutions if I feel things are awry. But when I am upset he also shuts off, his emotions just go away and he becomes cold and callous and indifferent to how I am feeling. I am trying so hard to understand how better to go about ways of conflict resolution or how to protect my own feelings and emotions while not adding to his own burdens but I'm finding it hard and I don't know how to go about it..

Does anyone have any tips, or insight into this kind of a situation? Maybe what I should do, or maybe can relate to how he is feeling? I don't know how to ask him directly without setting him off or making it into an issue and I love and care for him so much, I just want to help and be more understanding of his emotions..",5.076374999999999,5.452905554166668,6.186666666666667,79.205,68.45833333333334,8.733333333333333,32.25,8.648137234880735,2.4886999999999992,943,39,187,14,15,316,125,240,0.094,0.805,0.101,0.7644,1,0,1,0,2,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,16,9,0,2,10,0,19,1,0,7,0,49,41,31,0,6,12,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,15,0,2,10,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,0,9,26,5,40,38,4,27,0,0,0,1,29,14,0,6,7,141,36,0,0.0,0.25642802756965993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653742717813709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358815126000112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566463488212499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116399808318767,0.0,0.10166912367613964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951210778595894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570508506556236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032976652037801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345865567626462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156224569377578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946974114070914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4868975962683687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188617887116061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890418458951593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380720648941454,0.2459984311132851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387413302751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253249907727799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129456441799303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268657544140452,0.11894142381904367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766592717360187,0.0,0.07223262562519707,0.0,0.21742782618098505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954857426538349,0.16047626542470744,0.0,0.1045122223042532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448690464544003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23235926731479345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224922468348898,0.0,0.0,0.1216352855694767,0.0,0.0,0.1833760518930634,0.0833072019206742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697703815211189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189151849632583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309952794842827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22040737450935508,0.0,0.0,0.22530587545107136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382648457792303,0.08589397616727039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043129040785896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,levvm,2018/04/09,"Talking to GP about Sertraline -- am I wrong? Hey guys, just wondering if you have experienced this before. 

I've been taking sertraline for about three weeks. I told my doctor I experienced mania (feeling really overwhelmingly happy and not being able to stop laughing - racing thoughts), confusion, extreme nausea (I couldn't eat for a week), dizziness and trouble sleeping. I told her that I felt the medicine was lifting me mentally in the first couple of weeks but now I feel low again. She then tells me that this is the placebo effect and that medicine does not work that fast. 

I am quite perplexed as to what to say in that situation. I want to have an open, honest conversation about how the medicine is making me feel but I am quite irritated to have my doctor continuously tell me in our conversation that it is just a placebo effect. Interestingly, she had my dose doubled after this conversation. Just wondering how any of you tackle this kind of conversation? Especially being told that what you're experiencing is due to the placebo effect and not the chemistry of the medicine. 

Thanks! 

",5.967442307692307,8.366540112820513,6.288253205128207,71.68622596153847,68.38461538461539,8.9775641025641,31.674679487179485,9.516144504307137,3.2768525641025645,882,38,143,20,16,283,110,195,0.096,0.8170000000000001,0.087,0.3748,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,2,0,7,10,11,0,2,10,0,16,5,1,6,0,31,30,11,0,3,9,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,14,5,1,1,10,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,8,8,23,6,21,19,1,17,0,2,0,0,19,5,0,4,12,105,37,3,0.13725366390999438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333719808748113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679275877738468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186856850999833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28096988189519617,0.12011160622375515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044476359468355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819872945217516,0.0,0.13178504160236745,0.0,0.0,0.11674789640577453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590270626119452,0.0,0.1461090774536988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429285697994052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161788645208832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831941081499702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29197233291143176,0.0,0.0,0.08792821168166959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091496224999138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427886893792048,0.13735278686459576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475020884099303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319767383108426,0.11031929597446916,0.2399315039149145,0.12636473311701105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089640777615022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934552732276415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809557670939248,0.0,0.33028983052564875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976914873221523,0.0999223020097235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006533504444902,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,duckbuckshuck,2018/04/09,"Personal space and problems with contact Sometimes when I’m having a hard time or a breakdown, I will feel the need to hug a friend. But the problem is that I cannot stand being touched or touching people. What do I do in this case?",2.8841489361702126,4.70012076595745,3.5542021276595754,90.50875,75.38297872340425,5.5510638297872354,28.77127659574468,5.985473137389443,1.1347063829787234,184,8,37,1,4,58,39,47,0.14400000000000002,0.722,0.134,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,0,0,9,10,5,0,3,3,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,2,3,8,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,2,26,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416451232863728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26612158649595874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085599732200583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25540566649433577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387985925565201,0.30076087316822425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6591851808467544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34067033241670697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008518449565692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daegusfuture,2018/04/09,"Tomorrow will be my first therapy session I’m really scared because I don’t know what to expect and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to open up. I really want to get better and improve my mental health but I’m worried of being vulnerable (more that i am now haha) When my parents told me that they made that appointment i was actually kinda happy but like five minutes later I had a panic attack and I don’t know what to do now, how to prepare or do anything at all. 

Do you know what could help me calm down? How was your experience with having a therapy session? 
Thanks for reading this, I’m just really stressed about tomorrow.",2.886034359341448,4.785537889763784,4.9867430207587695,79.87384395132428,75.61417322834646,8.082748747315676,26.50608446671439,8.841846274778883,2.2257149606299214,500,19,95,11,11,173,81,127,0.139,0.6940000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.4562,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,2,7,11,1,4,2,1,16,1,0,3,1,20,28,9,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,0,15,6,12,17,2,11,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,8,69,23,3,0.17345365680771332,0.0,0.16926574805352684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273758034337414,0.0,0.0,0.19732857520169825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573573925134556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340566388451393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848863090844846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696709595051899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475395918717993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906223766463554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464464302945333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437312612793752,0.0,0.0,0.1162623299120448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859767807295222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474069523362222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412604400542555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480048932670114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351049358571924,0.19259975902861654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350059583062102,0.0,0.3333565622572292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736573696996043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19869057783450272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969282295479972,0.3967187463914085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574240227293227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230746081447448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761506081290975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anaam-desi,2018/04/09,"I feel guilty for going to my psychiatrist because she worked for me but not for my friend. Is this normal? So I've had issues with anxiety for a while, and I saw this person who placed me on counselling and on a very low dose of medication. I've improved tremendously with her, and I recommended that a friend of mine go see her as well. However, my friend broke down over there and they were placed on a higher dose of medication than I was. It affected their functioning for a couple of days and they soon quit. I feel really guilty for continuing to go to her, and for progressing under her. Is it because I was an easier case to handle and she is actually incompetent? ",4.283587786259542,5.863988236641222,5.732740458015268,77.2942251908397,71.21374045801527,9.820152671755725,26.07709923664122,10.125756701596842,2.6180680916030536,533,17,104,15,10,180,76,131,0.211,0.703,0.086,-0.955,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,3,4,6,0,0,6,0,7,4,0,1,0,15,14,11,0,1,2,0,2,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,5,4,21,4,25,9,0,16,0,2,2,0,14,9,0,0,4,79,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.1799771530119197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410885058367145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485372901374004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040683747996855,0.0,0.11894214361147132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865067791688033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427470665243774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31444759273150724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249708632238208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715878036787772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070231947421544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103723142162504,0.3853803577983202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196164091254294,0.0,0.0,0.11815063138452987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469668949379258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217413048086612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658247904287565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426729426257267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jonathanchen_,2018/04/09,"What are your coping mechanisms? I'm bipolar and I've been struggling with my mental health ever since my ex broke up with me and I got knee surgery (my coping mechanism was running). Just wondering, what are your current mental struggles and how do you cope?
",3.780000000000001,6.5965419999999995,3.8873333333333338,84.29100000000003,76.91666666666666,6.34,28.35,7.554174236665415,1.9869950000000005,208,9,35,3,5,64,36,48,0.168,0.8320000000000001,0.0,-0.8156,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,5,3,1,1,1,9,8,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,8,0,3,5,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520251477730556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283557328046386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961569834695968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5615610768793159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304749714237225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5825422429898952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30214839553868994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway40136,2018/04/09,"Talking is so exhausting I have been bullied during my childhood and haven't had many friends during high school. After school my depressions got suicidal and during that time I lost contact to the few friends I still had. But now after therapy I feel much better and have tried to find some new friends and what I have noticed is that this is really exhausting.

Most of the people I talk to are from my sports club or people I still know from school, so they mostly know me already and I also have the feeling that they like me, but anytime I talk to them I struggle internally to seem interresting. I constantly am afraid to be boring, or worse, to somehow make them hate me for some reason. Holding conversations just seems so exhausting, but at the same time I really want to be good at it, because I feel like an extroverted person (I feel more comfortable with other people than alone). That I have episodes of insomnia and nightmares which makes me extremly tired the next day does not help either.

Is it that hard for normal people too to hold conversations? Or does anyone have some tips for me to make me feel less under pressure when talking to someone?",7.840791090629799,7.816586654377887,7.340841013824887,74.64078533026117,62.6405529953917,10.366973886328728,34.212365591397855,9.928628108626363,3.285031029185868,932,35,164,17,12,292,121,217,0.201,0.722,0.077,-0.9805,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,2,11,18,1,3,6,0,18,5,0,4,0,41,34,17,1,2,9,0,6,2,3,0,5,0,0,1,11,7,0,2,11,2,0,0,2,10,0,0,5,6,28,8,25,27,11,17,0,2,0,0,16,4,0,11,15,123,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043313461832696,0.1176652472268756,0.08526935690001723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745558883232366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499866450927143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430267713879616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522561453642324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876541939087152,0.0,0.0918374457065493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661953871489867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695683905503973,0.15234831343743965,0.0,0.0,0.09745489887639353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471386396801744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894334416680136,0.08527913596028809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551660583098956,0.10527182018624844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146964905646191,0.11265699372173887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719852378953725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418486802611604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639567068910266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135225093385836,0.10810276778578773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838291466603932,0.0,0.0,0.10298075959354112,0.11339873626705793,0.0,0.1044715557181975,0.0,0.1213952380280772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956861941642593,0.09310234724225093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661562624922938,0.10963003637963764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237358277505142,0.0,0.19413793947418384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034448172117654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030448751264401,0.0,0.0,0.11146940861192793,0.0,0.11663233563845195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342810104258452,0.0,0.0,0.12193695756898842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243498066514385,0.1225517399076722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239255003405083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289120754589926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866174653555864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Daemidra,2018/04/09,"I feel like I need space but I can't tolerate it Basically what the title says. I get so overwhelmed by being around people that I get annoyed and snappy with my friends and when I m finally alone I m so relieved to have time to just be me with no worries of what anybody is thinking. And I know that I need to give myself more alone time. But whenever I think about giving myself time and space to be free, I get anxiety (?) bc I think I m going to lose my friends or miss out on something and I don t know what to do. Any advice?

Side note, I have been dealing with recurring depression since I was around 11 (18 now), I'm starting to see a therapist again, and I recently changed friend groups so I'm a little unsettled in my life.",1.7735193945127712,3.6904079271523194,3.542256385998108,88.87690397350995,79.0,6.963292336802273,25.355250709555346,7.957251820313856,1.4575105014191108,571,22,122,10,14,191,94,151,0.184,0.6459999999999999,0.17,0.0971,0,2,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,11,1,1,3,0,10,1,0,0,0,25,29,13,0,2,4,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,6,12,0,0,6,0,1,1,2,5,0,0,2,3,23,7,18,24,1,20,0,4,1,0,8,9,0,2,11,78,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373149097860213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30467507284599343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002404857053272,0.0,0.11252097774979282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618768220238355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555983014396692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164000305545608,0.12668562092952376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437149123021408,0.10507881908572816,0.0,0.16112636884342788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409166248330007,0.0,0.2305403022785406,0.2821980681966751,0.0835928019682584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616700861404975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389173671831957,0.07185916700864724,0.14741958631626598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645524741836749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181259549590483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197144753916962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523044236499452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696930447980752,0.0,0.0,0.11720911364959125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167169749596105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323458285760672,0.0,0.0,0.10410877405469686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077907864575936,0.0,0.2827417925891174,0.0,0.0,0.2573024382413808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937375641451325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loganberrytanner,2018/04/09,"Addicted to pulling my hair without pulling it out I’ve been playing with my hair since I was in 9th grade. I am now 21 and it is worse than ever. What started out as mindlessly touching my hair during class has turned into me compulsively pulling on/running fingers through chunks of my hair for long periods of time, unable to stop. 

I’ve always been obsessed with a specific area, the nape of my neck, slightly on the right side. While I am not intentionally pulling the hair out, I’ll notice myself covered in my own hair after pulling it for long periods of time. I do not have a bald spot, but the hair I pull is noticeably shorter and thinner than the rest. I worry that I’m losing more every day. For some odd reason, I only like to pull on the short, damaged hair. Something about the feeling as I pull it away from my head feels different than the feeling of running my fingers through the rest of my hair. I also do it in a ritualistic fashion and have a specific way I like to pull it. 

I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think this is starting to interfere with my life. I’ve seen counselors and have been told it’s simply my way of self soothing (I have generalized anxiety disorder) and not something to be concerned about if I’m not pulling the hair out.  However, I feel as though I can’t stop. If I’m not pulling at my hair, I’m thinking about doing it. Specifically at the nape of my neck.  I don’t like the way I look when I do it, multiple people have pointed it out or told me to stop, and the hair is beginning to fall out of ponytails as it is significantly shorter than the rest of my hair. It also has interfered with productivity and is a distraction while driving. 

I understand that this is not characterized trichotillomania because I am not intentionally pulling the hair out but this is the closest I can get to understanding it. I’ve done a lot of research trying to find just one person who has a similar background as me but have found nothing. 

Does anyone else pull on their hair compulsively (without pulling it out) because they like the feeling on their scalp? I’m willing to try anything to keep my hands out of my hair. ",6.048156028368798,6.192348501182035,6.630549408983453,77.66120000000002,66.35224586288416,9.604879432624116,35.59612293144208,9.3871,3.1666717541371163,1708,79,334,30,25,560,182,423,0.073,0.872,0.055,-0.8176,2,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,3,1,11,9,0,2,24,0,37,26,24,3,1,62,62,25,0,4,17,0,25,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,21,21,0,5,12,1,0,17,13,4,0,1,10,27,44,5,69,48,7,65,0,2,2,0,8,26,0,6,23,234,65,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681721520508714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138722191295866,0.08916341290695272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197499993088751,0.0,0.0,0.07492683797272623,0.10979526184228526,0.08818128311535274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067776007085176,0.0,0.0,0.13064412519679972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691075588086122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195651487175168,0.12281148764908903,0.0,0.09377402814391887,0.10965906691690752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951612896265755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692986392615456,0.09028460145666677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709096166056033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793978157838096,0.0,0.0,0.11749238934819572,0.0,0.0,0.05598523831225463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997424932013153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524628387300166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568833190591176,0.20940647080640348,0.0,0.0,0.18966158143611397,0.08998509844534912,0.11988154857514075,0.0,0.09110125861779372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282026763805124,0.2439984697373776,0.0,0.0,0.07261252317916145,0.08149791431635467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428934205996375,0.09356557400881353,0.0,0.0,0.10129823380617622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017549596013716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151170263494487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178837776384228,0.0,0.0,0.0886415812703044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498976648722696,0.0,0.0,0.15169290058811766,0.0,0.0,0.2687647676610872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373240729060088,0.10528145018338596,0.0,0.12496850382249852,0.0,0.0,0.20478668145962534,0.0,0.14550547217189488,0.11655631273157842,0.0,0.2231089444959938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551693024810457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659152256630867,0.0,0.0,0.10882338490680844,0.1092023884311463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,missbelles,2018/04/09,"Too non-egoistic Look at people and their constant need to feel superior, to talk behind each other's back, to offend, not to mention how insensitive they are to other people's pain. Its just disgusts me. Even your so called friends you cannot share everything with them and aren't friends for sharing your deepest problems with? Now, I know I am too sensitive, I struggle with social anxiety so I cant defend myself but why do I have to? Why do people tend to be so narcissistic? My psychologist told me being kind is a gift, that there must be people  to make the world a better place. I was like: kind people arent makiing anything better, we are just emotional sponges which others project their aggression on , to which he didnt answer ... I wish he had sth smarter to answer and tell I am not right but he didnt ..",4.440485232067509,6.029678512658229,5.153860759493675,81.56323839662448,70.83544303797468,7.79831223628692,28.356540084388186,8.344100000000001,2.017036286919831,647,24,121,10,12,209,103,158,0.118,0.672,0.209,0.9725,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,3,4,2,12,16,3,1,3,0,20,1,0,2,1,24,28,9,0,4,6,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,2,20,10,17,19,1,8,0,0,1,0,21,5,0,0,4,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155337465503108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428074440402215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612893788692405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267138759918675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421345722341484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632044217197729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988284894346564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997506183022411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357315728811621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636280087671063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336315127434576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31453868937347595,0.0829994154443683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378320873601538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682300171826513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081039070163468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198315771980392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607012966315259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235087541434215,0.0,0.15778902866427874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144510572311356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897456380026695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539510150100912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788416876877767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138821096829627,0.1320025465984868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431090315695613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725532265161405,0.0,0.17367134918691207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiddicoffin,2018/04/09,"My mom thinks that I only ""want"" therapy I'm 17(girl) and I started therapy when I was 14 but unfortunately was referred to an office that didn't have my best interest at mind, only money. I was then referred to a place that DID/DOES help and have been going since. We're black so therapy is a taboo subject within the community and it shows-- My mom has always had a problem with my therapy whether it being at first with: she doesn't have time, that i'm going too much, or that i don't need i just ""want"" therapy and i can't deal with it anymore. I go every 2.5 weeks (if I'm not mistaken) and my mom keeps mentioning about changing it to every 1 month, and even uses it to blackmail me when i ""disobey"" her. 

She says that i'll have to do once a month when she starts working, but can't she just mention to her boss that she needs to take her daughter to therapy?? Then she says this shit about me being ""strong"" and not needing to go as frequently as i do-- last time I recall, I'm in MY HEAD and I know what's going on and I can't do once a month because I did it before and it didn't do any good for me.

What can I do??",1.998789473684212,3.2203283000000016,3.987982456140352,88.96894736842106,76.41666666666666,7.052631578947369,24.714912280701753,7.669130373188453,1.087583333333333,872,29,197,12,19,298,118,240,0.094,0.873,0.033,-0.9392,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,4,10,6,1,0,7,0,27,2,2,2,0,37,48,23,0,7,9,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,17,13,0,2,4,1,1,5,9,2,0,1,8,3,33,4,22,38,2,27,0,0,1,0,19,6,1,2,16,136,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759267995881433,0.0,0.0,0.06341418645889903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248038496983016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05684522083891708,0.0,0.07935011907274793,0.0,0.09786164783135527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864767364645584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613815443198967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159170590158197,0.0,0.15713674381995266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931963914773875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649847514869857,0.07821489534261858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570289486465387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062504483970051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288617697414218,0.0,0.0,0.05124856039050637,0.07601238112809941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415738555391223,0.3276449277051473,0.2232972627723229,0.0,0.06855054835093474,0.20743431470199736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861951025576705,0.0,0.1418438656999115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742792188555488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922904760852357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831459814425993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572127748712468,0.07713856639524884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320077182290118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011348813273155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6398469876665935,0.0,0.0,0.05975176640421057,0.0,0.0,0.10875134548909662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053931574685418,0.0,0.0,0.11000424727996874,0.0,0.07480069156993803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788816914246873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilovedogs98,2018/04/09,"I feel very heightened and energetic sometimes in an overwhelming way I've been diagnosed with depression, BDD/OCD/GAD, and insomnia.

I'm taking Prozac for it right now.  I have this problem sometimes where I have very overwhelmed and ecstatic episodes that are this colossal mix of anxiety, excitement, energy and confusion.

A couple nights ago it went like this in order

""I'm not good enough at French. I need to learn more French""

""I have to find the true religion!""

""I can find it by reading in French!""

*Ohh let's read this book, no this one, no this one*

""I should learn Arabic and Sanskrit!""

""Wait we have to learn French""

""I need to practice for my orchestra summer program auditions""

""BUT ALSO I HAVE TO LEARN FRENCH AND ARABIC AND SANSKRIT AND FIND THE TRUE RELIGION""

""I feel kind of floaty like I'm not myself""

It's like this cacophony of anxiety and grandiosity.  It lasts for a few hours usually. I don't know if this is crazy or not but I think I'm gaining access to some higher state of being through music and hypagogia and it's the same state famous musicians entered.  

Idk if this is normal or not and just wanted to share",3.529583333333335,5.877347606481488,4.300703703703707,83.4646666666667,75.25,8.023703703703704,26.540740740740734,8.841846274778883,2.220667407407408,897,34,168,20,20,287,121,216,0.078,0.802,0.12,0.8789,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,0,1,4,14,0,3,6,0,14,3,0,0,2,48,28,19,0,8,11,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,16,14,0,1,11,4,1,2,7,5,0,2,2,2,15,9,21,23,5,19,0,3,0,0,2,6,0,6,10,107,31,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314511138936973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858834010131085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22688457314620825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640812830020727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277229082219305,0.15051234627547205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532243483113486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996087289194532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066061400947522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437954011302035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603686377322736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544223623125396,0.08149691110501621,0.12087703967631627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163769806757724,0.0,0.21734262480796435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991194518874432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916115301756654,0.14529379405252846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009717760349235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189455675488982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29666246187550943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663979022700206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933273818790377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149645309206263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950189499550063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332169762861595,0.244711377679515,0.08746593361294275,0.11770657379737258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746733653274376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThisWalrus,2018/04/09,"Picking yourself up after a mental breakdown? Hi everyone, I had what can only be called a nervous breakdown this fall. I dropped out of school, moved home, isolated myself, and kinda just fell apart. i developed a lot of bad habits as a result. I dont want to go back to school, but i dont know what else to do?
I really don't know how to move on, or to get on with my life; how to i break poor habits and laziness that i have picked up?
Thanks in advance!",2.8075037593984966,3.8054759157894793,4.111278195488726,89.75894736842108,74.05263157894737,7.112781954887217,25.150375939849624,7.447530270364453,1.025827067669173,352,11,78,4,7,116,66,95,0.129,0.828,0.043,-0.6901,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,0,8,1,0,5,0,17,14,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,6,3,2,0,0,1,0,10,1,17,12,1,17,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,3,2,52,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292249286686505,0.16605220254590414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307346938094767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4661597136374846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661344279204196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900334529892858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390390700289116,0.0,0.11302516700086974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994877015921364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859284597270967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047119627665125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907629562054766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004190847690803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227450092284167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125329399915322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274043289136935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40254395500974394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309725301153854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730154612532565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Piiixie,2018/04/09,"Want to get help, but have no health insurance Hey, looking for some advice.

I found out relatively recently that I lost health insurance. I apparently haven't had it since I turnt nineteen and only found out when a 700$ labcore bill came in from my gyno visit. I have to re-apply, however It's not guaranteed I'll get it back, and I won't know anything for probably a month and a half.

I've been in a downward spiral ever since everything finally sunk in regarding my abusive father (Junior year of HS, am now a senior) . I don't want to go into detail here about it, but he's in prison now for abuse against another family member. Only few members of my family know he also verbally and occasionally physically + sexually abused me as well. This along with a really fucked up childhood, having no friends growing up and facing sexual harassment and bullying from the peers I did have before my transition from homeschooling to HS really fucked me up. After a long time of denial, I'm fairly certain I have some messed up cocktail of depression/BPD and PTSD and have come to terms I need help. These feelings are unbearable. The only problem, as I have described above, is that I have no insurance. I have no idea what to do to get help, but I know it I need it as soon as possible. I'm beginning to not feel safe with myself anymore, and I'm not sure if one day I may become capable of actually acting on my thoughts and harming myself. My feelings are affecting my relationships with people I care about, and I'm not able to maintain or create new ones. I literally do not have the emotional capability to anymore. On top of all of this, it's that time of the year again where most of the major sexual abuse that my father attempted to inflict/did flict upon me occured and everything is just coming back to haunt me.

I tried going to a school counselor about my feelings, but didn't try to go any further after our first meeting because I know as soon as I tell them the extent of my emotional state they'd have to contact my mother and tell her, which is the last thing I want right now. I'd also be required to go to a crisis center which I've thought about going to myself, but I know someone else without insurance who admitted themself into one. They got the help they needed, but now owes a lot in medical bills and I don't want to be a few hundred grand in debt. I Just can't do this anymore. I need help, but I don't know where to go.",6.727211736716892,6.120354369072166,7.742731958762892,72.7755729579699,65.10309278350515,11.090404440919905,34.11776367961935,10.560738912317856,3.5441292624900864,1939,75,365,44,26,660,235,485,0.193,0.721,0.086,-0.996,4,0,0,0,3,0,47.0,1,0,4,5,23,14,3,0,19,0,34,7,1,1,4,79,81,32,0,10,17,3,4,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,20,25,1,2,16,1,4,12,17,7,1,5,11,5,51,7,71,65,10,66,0,1,1,2,26,24,2,7,29,257,71,4,0.07456157883415006,0.3533731140754791,0.07276134530507743,0.0,0.0,0.07286071189344695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925373531062665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507044304327066,0.07818431655142694,0.0,0.0,0.2218351527287301,0.0,0.0,0.061357826322258585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466650342373776,0.0,0.045452046401743836,0.08234740581658143,0.06344641186808953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390769838980666,0.0,0.0,0.08527858275502177,0.07602049889015222,0.0,0.0,0.1284563960644715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808605002251149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228663158310716,0.16774348094854688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674452167864371,0.0,0.0,0.13402227859555368,0.0,0.1405800414285107,0.0,0.1508022983332819,0.0,0.0,0.08167856507163078,0.0,0.06342204086652782,0.0,0.16350584534777873,0.057606090849271034,0.1378619563257941,0.11686604257549657,0.0,0.254250381142236,0.0,0.05963370592352319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851094328817386,0.0,0.0,0.2498852730095167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417094683718722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458625626410259,0.06077763835119319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598465095216956,0.0626129474072009,0.0,0.08139277114483731,0.06338958797750298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511294639946932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951434086646287,0.0,0.0,0.22114586375674944,0.0,0.07201203746062818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157456646054188,0.1701223217303782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169161058529107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405697705242088,0.0,0.0,0.08038999290934921,0.07134536118310708,0.08715849560140554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553211331899823,0.0,0.07362056392282915,0.08005123177596077,0.0,0.06367518092681886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546029843287241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233562170194092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317578378470659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027340565114641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303402126713312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049535399869189985,0.0,0.0,0.11838712997027835,0.08695491245305295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124483535562176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591340408110528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703981385753867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187470125997512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603042434361007
mentalhealth,bernbabybern13,2018/04/09,"My aunt is indirectly slowly killing my 30 year old cousin. They say she has chronic Lyme which doesn’t actually exist. Several doctors said she has an eating disorder. Need advice. Hi all,

This is extremely complicated and I don’t quite know where to start but here goes. I am very worried that my aunt is indirectly going to kill my 30 year old cousin. 

Around 8 years ago, my cousin got sick. Several doctors diagnosed her with an eating disorder. Her and my aunt did not like that diagnosis. They kept seeing doctors until they got a diagnosis they liked: chronic Lyme disease. 

For those who aren’t as knowledgeable on this topic, while Lyme disease is real, chronic Lyme is not. It is not recognized by the CDC or most medical professionals. She’s been treated for this for very long at this point and her and my aunt have clung to this diagnosis. 

My cousin is extremely underweight. She’s probably around 90 lbs if I’m being generous. My aunt will also buy her food for her to eat just for her to throw it up again. They hide this from my uncle and others because they know how it looks. 

Another issue is, and I’m leaning this tends to be associated with eating disorders, is although she is 30, she acts 13. She’s extremely immature emotionally. Her best friend is 21, who she met on the internet over their shared interest in a pop star. She is also obsessed with Taylor Swift and has social media accounts dedicated to her. She tweets at her incessantly, makes her videos, writes her letters, and just generally acts like a child. 

But the number one problem is my aunt. Normally, if a child was acting like this, a parent would seek help for their child. But my aunt is the enabler. My cousin is not capable of making her own decisions. My aunt refuses to accept the extent of her mental health problems, thus refusing to seek the treatment her daughter really needs. 

They will not see doctors who are not versed in Lyme disease, but since most doctors do not believe it’s real, they seek alternative treatment. When anyone suggests otherwise, they get extremely volatile. They are quick to just start yelling at people, and I mean actually yelling. My aunt has also thrown things, told my mom (her sister) that she “doesn’t have a sister anymore” when my mom suggested it may be bulimia years ago. 

As were rather sure she has an eating disorder, and at the very least has the body of someone with one, our fear has been ultimate organ failure. Last week we got the first sight of that. She has ammonia in her brain, which is probably because of a liver problem. I say probably because her doctor said that “Lyme was mimicking a liver problem” and also that it’s a genetic mutation. I know nothing about this but obviously I don’t trust her doctors and would like a second opinion. 

Of course, my whole family is even more worried now because of this recent development but we just don’t know what to do. My cousin is technically an adult and my aunt won’t listen to a thing we say.  I know the police is an option but I’m not sure what’s involved. Not sure if there are any other options. 

Please, any suggestions are welcome. 

I know this is crazy and only the tip of the iceberg so if you have any additional questions, let me know. 

Thank you so much. 

TL DR: 30 year old cousin was diagnosed with chronic Lyme eight years which isn’t real. Has eating disorder. Aunt refuses to get her help and is enabling the problem. She now has ammonia in her brain and we’re worried her liver is starting to fail. Need options for actions my family can take to intervene. ",4.040534028812715,6.369838670640839,5.055851713859912,78.7333950571287,73.6199701937407,8.288534525583705,28.470963735717834,9.029198982220553,2.64600087431694,2832,116,500,64,60,926,288,671,0.123,0.7879999999999999,0.09,-0.9731,2,0,0,0,2,0,77.0,4,2,12,6,25,27,2,2,29,0,67,30,6,4,5,103,104,42,2,16,26,24,0,5,1,6,17,8,0,4,36,27,7,4,12,1,2,6,17,10,0,5,15,12,83,17,55,79,10,49,0,1,4,0,109,16,0,15,32,345,119,9,0.0,0.0,0.10133686905273763,0.0,0.0,0.05073762991377953,0.09205153554517477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608819021354054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592633091669093,0.054444800430297015,0.0,0.0,0.05149272535920861,0.03630510716730498,0.0,0.0,0.09244327174495226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660480795346304,0.0,0.0,0.058498374234110424,0.05448899198055345,0.0,0.0,0.05767369662770185,0.0,0.11592436707849095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539958302954004,0.0,0.0,0.2975358590535553,0.3720109543312611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187753394976238,0.0,0.058405321850704864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034294026754213384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789498249337142,0.05842674555824243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04416487231923279,0.06278435338510557,0.0,0.04011484985988381,0.0,0.05425426006775762,0.0,0.029508499639461575,0.0,0.12458042844652778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519071505642805,0.0,0.0,0.06960451619743738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419313424852551,0.0,0.0,0.11488811896619006,0.0,0.1997450196896175,0.042323403677499885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309381769463019,0.0,0.12683246367144438,0.0,0.0,0.04594938359780434,0.0436014481714558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931674799948366,0.0,0.0,0.056558337907905064,0.0,0.05230600658587028,0.052325217892437305,0.0,0.0,0.1216209634303378,0.0,0.0,0.03816868366853552,0.1154986346619359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087258849147302,0.049820610832786334,0.0,0.1634503832614884,0.0,0.07036745462733837,0.03948906150616032,0.0,0.0,0.05765329602921122,0.0,0.0,0.03599621441194828,0.0,0.0,0.056994823019152326,0.04908312340006429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794226695056896,0.2484119656329483,0.0,0.0,0.058164583019973966,0.055225495279862334,0.0,0.17729599274947738,0.03326259711508887,0.0,0.051266764066523036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987795261235812,0.12387150320841372,0.0,0.0,0.08275030879294816,0.0,0.0,0.11731428322275587,0.0,0.04295045933566817,0.0,0.0,0.05292799500848566,0.043993387573113836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102520904667486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680776330828504,0.0,0.0390389225733941,0.0,0.0,0.047802851062682464,0.0,0.0,0.06898941064066354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961374734334014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852339596181214,0.0,0.0,0.04164873955646082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057969118668520586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818809754611646,0.0,0.07376787440785385,0.0,0.0,0.200616601355806
mentalhealth,DragonForce92,2018/04/09,"Homeless And In Need Of A Caretaker 

My Name Is Jonathan. I'm 25 and Mentally Disabled.Im Not Very Good At Taking Care OF Myself ANd Need Help. Currently Have No Funds To Travel Or A Way To Travel. Will Take Kindly To Any Advice Or Help.",-0.5120833333333329,1.4360036250000014,1.7316666666666656,92.14666666666668,106.5,4.633333333333333,17.833333333333332,6.42735559955562,0.3267333333333333,186,6,37,3,9,62,38,48,0.08800000000000001,0.696,0.21600000000000005,0.7892,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,9,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,7,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612061364186315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177572011653315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27253399380386034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242017081455216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35833614585696233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887339257174095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783557277577819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693793152374797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964046957250284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019583158563335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205535927715163,0.0,0.21217327931384802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sombrerosandgourds,2018/04/09,"My mother has severe mental health issues, but refuses to seek treatment. What are my options? She isn't an immediate danger to herself or others, but her lifelong eating disorder and paranoid ideations have begun to manifest in significant physical health problems, and she's also emotionally abusive toward my sister (who is a minor). She won't acknowledge her need for help, let alone see a psychiatrist. Where I live in the US, there must be a clear and present danger to the self or others to obtain a court order for a psych eval, but she's not physically violent or suicidal. Is there anything I can do?",8.611891891891894,8.555982576576579,9.059234234234237,63.062905405405424,61.072072072072075,11.724324324324325,38.31981981981982,11.20814326018867,4.671263063063064,490,22,75,12,6,164,79,111,0.196,0.649,0.154,-0.7659,0,1,0,1,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,4,4,3,0,8,0,12,3,0,0,2,17,14,10,1,3,7,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,13,0,10,10,0,7,0,0,1,0,14,4,0,4,2,61,17,1,0.0,0.2447959802073668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139829532838973,0.0,0.16522386036714298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002028326062651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367899760592356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141094625261747,0.0,0.2324055125112003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43922800224733227,0.0,0.0,0.13848458280317094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156444437000368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112700610406421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243811636702426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20821166113316025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319676662094647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19769537554955974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463934549187922,0.0,0.21553657398919515,0.23340754963188046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259949580764041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24852325913879825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alisterje27,2018/04/09,"MENTAL HEALTH BATTLES This is going to be a very difficult subject for me to approach mentally, never mind be able to put down in words. As there are so many aspects that have collectively become such a consuming factor of my literal reality as well a huge contributor toward me battling with my own mental health.

This subject being the relationship with my mother. However I want to be clear that I am in no way blaming her for any of my own short comings, I just feel the need to share this or even just write it for my own benefit. I am not able to talk to my friends about this and nore my girlfriend. As I know they don’t have the power to solve these issues and I have never expected them too.

My parents divorced when I was born, I had a difficult up bringing, with my mum changing partners and bringing home different men throughout my childhood. My elder sister getting involved with gangs, drugs and choosing life partners that were physically  and sexually abusive to her and having children much too young, left mentally weakened from her awful experiences that she cant cope with having kids but keeps having them anyway.  

After my sister and I my mum also went on to having kids with other men, I now have 2 step brothers (one 18 and one 7) My mum has serious mental health issues now and hasnt had a job in years. 

For many years my mum encouraged me not to work but to claim benifits and would be upset with me when I got jobs and changed  from job to job as it would interfere with her benifits. I remember the first job I got, I was 16 washing dishes in a pub, that day I came home she said ‘lets see how long this lasts’.

I worry about my little brother as hes only 7, I see so much of myself in him and I worry for his well being a great deal. My mum and her partner (who also doesnt work) as hes living off his parents inheritance and now hes supporting my mum financially and so shes not actually recieving any benifit at all now. They had an argument and woke my little brother up, he woke up scared and screaming for me to go in. I went in to comfort him and told my mum to stop shouting and i have work and my litttle brother has school in the morning. I came back from work early the next morning, they had kept him off school because they woke him up and scared him. I reported them to the school. 

This isnt even the tip of the ice burg but my girlfriend doesnt understand why i dont talk about my personal life. The reason is because it doesnt do me any good, just puts negativity in the air and I dont want that. It doesnt solve anything and so whats the point.  


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mentalhealth,needsomehelpb,2018/04/10,Is there a name for a mental condition that creates problems for things that you enjoy? It’s hard to explain. But like when you find yourself really into someone or something but sooner or later your mind makes you feel like there’s something wrong but you don’t know what. Like your mind creates problems that don’t exist and ruins what you enjoy for no apparent reason. Your rational side knows it’s nothing but irrational mental illnesses are much stronger. Is there a name for what I’m describing and how do I overcome it?,3.8824242424242392,6.6305437575757615,4.242717171717172,82.27740909090913,76.07070707070706,6.78828282828283,28.081818181818186,7.908726449838941,2.1614921212121208,428,18,71,7,10,134,59,99,0.181,0.609,0.21,0.3536,1,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,8,0,0,5,9,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,3,0,23,12,10,0,2,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,2,9,5,6,12,1,4,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,2,5,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981223423817227,0.1410238188123667,0.0,0.0,0.180421583822333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683315568587624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21697363116211352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893215084564493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176717216801306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978689822444032,0.0,0.3986389020236362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511296786213376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894122616706783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777735475345158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646058816411349,0.20296183184389333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725782561651042,0.3039389562072827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114492257665894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582777779525772,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,absinthemindedx,2018/04/10,"Need some advice I've been working a psychologist for some time now, maybe about three years and she finally managed to trigger some kinda nerve in my brain the other day that has... I don't Know. Best explanation I can give is to say that I'm starting to think long and hard about events in my life that have got me to where I am today and remembering things I'd long forgotten. Problem is tho that she only managed to do this towards the end of our session so right now I feel like I'm holding back Pandora's box exploding into the world before our next session which is still a few weeks away. Holding all this back is making me depressed beyond levels I have never felt and the urge to start cutting myself to pieces is running high (haven't cut since I was 16-17, I'm now 34) I don't know what to do with these feelings or how to hold them back between sessions. Any advice would be greatly appreciated ",7.417594627594628,6.1262652527472525,7.468095238095242,77.53801587301591,64.05494505494505,9.847130647130648,34.507936507936506,8.515128840125781,2.640276434676435,724,26,143,8,9,234,121,182,0.08,0.875,0.045,-0.6441,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,2,0,1,2,14,7,2,0,6,0,19,2,1,3,2,29,34,8,0,3,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,11,6,0,3,7,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,4,5,17,3,21,28,7,33,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,5,22,99,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29361353806016266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216416246690106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114963742488276,0.3465616471377709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783793200548946,0.0,0.15766114566180334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771064998079893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968883978178464,0.0,0.12939618565566702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306258986039915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192548635124362,0.10732708481935087,0.1442480455472062,0.1645738275892117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411798811943047,0.0,0.0,0.1201557254165375,0.16563333820845835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458001108609327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873029963841714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651291782580533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611460364528598,0.07339666528125731,0.0,0.0,0.26590444040766875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028225432257397,0.0,0.15093008438474895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139648824037532,0.11586959849628425,0.0,0.1597753924691727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425960458935648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375349469400606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018565359859306,0.1282988779047722,0.0,0.11947197896202726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242749843487444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21267256942221768,0.0,0.11997693813585553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980868726679223,0.09626377805162924,0.0,0.0,0.08760255984868036,0.0,0.14240411328166924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050852392690906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937202429218154,0.0,0.0,0.10672180902455493,0.0,0.0,0.09674566690406593
mentalhealth,sammyxgoose,2018/04/10,"Friend tried to commit suicide yesterday, I found her I don't know where to start so here goes. Thoughts are racing so sorry for the spelling. And on mobile so sorry for the formatting. Yesterday I got a text from my best friend, that she was done with life, that things were not good and that she was done. She's texted me this before and we've walked through it, but this time I knew something was up. She stopped texting me back so I jumped in my car and went to her mothers place, where her mother had told me she was. I went in but couldn't hear anyone there. I went to her apartment, and the door was locked. I got a text from her boyfriend that she was at her mothers and that she was taking pills. I went back there and ran upstairs. She was on the floor in the bathroom, drinking whiskey and pills everywhere, and blood everywhere. She was still conscious. She told me she took at least 40 of her sleeping pills and drank a bunch of whisky. I tried to call an ambulance but she wouldn't let me. I managed to get her in the car and drove like a maniac to the hospital (5 mins away). They got her in straight away as the medication was starting to kick in and she was starting to sleep. They gave her charcoal and did a bunch of tests. She is fine now (physically) they kept her overnight for observation and then she was released this morning. I don't know how to react. I've been through this myself and I'm scared that this is going to send me back down that path. I'm a shitty friend. I work 60 hour work weeks and have chronic fatigue, so every moment I get I need to sleep. We see each other maybe twice a month. I feel awful that I wasn't there for her. My mother says she doesn't believe she was actually trying to do it, that she just wanted attention. I have no idea what to do. Every time I shut my eyes I see her on the floor surrounded by pills. I don't even know why I'm posting this, I don't know what it's going to accomplish.",2.4582175583801344,4.186445758793969,3.087856931717411,93.77362991427731,76.33668341708542,6.189890629618683,22.76115873485073,6.923569853693429,0.4601129766479457,1524,44,339,15,34,476,183,398,0.081,0.857,0.062,-0.8198,0,0,4,0,0,2,43.0,1,0,3,4,19,10,1,1,17,1,35,16,5,2,1,44,74,27,1,4,5,4,1,1,3,1,8,2,1,0,22,19,3,2,11,2,0,14,10,3,0,1,38,6,68,7,44,33,5,58,0,1,3,0,49,24,0,0,20,233,90,5,0.0,0.0,0.09328962326992064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684417630170468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963448414268846,0.22052632880606776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813466523493383,0.10770593852397227,0.10032395083329712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761600106680647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956593978980504,0.0,0.09364941000391012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314141864091305,0.0,0.1610904711952571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833709966728837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048180091432406,0.22157577588135816,0.0,0.09989176752392813,0.0,0.10866081971383312,0.08018286518439545,0.22937478422652946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774562295232158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414453654709097,0.0,0.0,0.10791823443877098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101521144117532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775518618235993,0.06752352479818148,0.04670423653269677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604079877461766,0.0,0.0,0.09630468544692034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630521969200764,0.0,0.0,0.07088452746120646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987931188202387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155622807741956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602317548201704,0.09571003456764543,0.0,0.15235807470519408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287000397608141,0.0,0.0,0.07359582585791058,0.0,0.21402773043518186,0.20299375894495972,0.0,0.07634449434035287,0.07992400764669437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456843290627738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187761796430099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351090366658102,0.0,0.0,0.07589394278395581,0.11148764485046113,0.0,0.0,0.18269551218364544,0.10621262846222587,0.19471381078955935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638603549057265,0.0,0.07668275641844112,0.0,0.0,0.3544803237718049,0.08626210879838019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391926151692978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,intermolecular-input,2018/04/10,"Obsessive hand-washing. i can’t stop washing my hands. they have started to crack and i’m trying to resist the urge to wash them, but i’m terrified. terrified of what? i don’t know. i touch a doorknob and i can’t stop thinking about how i’m contaminated. is there any rational reason to think this way? how do i stop the urges? :/ ",-0.247530529172316,1.9833971641791093,2.1078426051560406,90.79899592944368,99.74626865671641,5.421438263229308,21.016282225237447,6.980632752743323,0.8877283582089555,258,10,54,5,11,87,44,67,0.327,0.6729999999999999,0.0,-0.9729,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,6,3,1,3,0,12,13,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,8,0,6,13,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188199497140788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631521618235032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30523212849075104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21012633762138686,0.0,0.0,0.7445906313523408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38044502274158815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155545745919928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235641838635244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,barefootrehab,2018/04/10,"I'm curious, what is your #1 challenge around: - painful thoughts, - crippling depression, - tormenting anxiety, - and learning how to enjoy yourself? I'm curious, what is your #1 challenge around:

- painful thoughts, 
- crippling depression, 
- tormenting anxiety,
- and learning how to enjoy yourself?

I've dealth with depression and anxiety much of my life and lately, at age 33, I'm feeling like I've finally come far enough on my path that things look really light!

I want to know if your challenges are similar to the ones I've overcome. 

Please feel free to share as much as you are willing.",8.54205882352941,9.263970852941178,7.58313725490196,70.97411764705883,61.05882352941178,11.898039215686277,44.450980392156865,11.538034831475384,5.6216156862745095,465,28,74,13,6,143,61,102,0.17600000000000002,0.5920000000000001,0.232,0.4461,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,0,3,4,13,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,0,19,16,9,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,7,0,1,1,0,5,0,1,2,4,7,9,13,13,3,9,0,3,1,0,5,5,0,1,4,41,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893242390567827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020325528031772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461305266901506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383341129286773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528429246074606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155096948592236,0.12119142018271872,0.0,0.18583320253236235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323014624119663,0.0,0.19136220948604826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982231269529313,0.0828779251489318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245554542328598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24941101170349264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495299524877133,0.0,0.3610195398580643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621465432912726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867623927516884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270180846516857,0.0,0.0,0.2693516895368812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000585380634817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plantmoons,2018/04/10,"how do i stop biting my hand? i keep compulsively biting the base of my hand (around the base of my thumb) whenever im overstimulated or frustrated/angry and I havent broken my skin but ive started leaving bruises and indentations on my hand

it started like 3-4 months ago but increased a lot over the past week or two, ive tried lotion so it would be bitter but it didnt help, does anyone else bite their hands or arms in frustration or have any suggestions?

i have adhd but im not sure if its because of that or something else ",1.8393686868686885,4.106207027777781,3.644646464646467,86.41954545454546,80.57407407407408,6.519865319865321,22.781144781144786,7.686295010490155,1.0981740740740742,421,14,86,7,11,141,72,108,0.128,0.728,0.14300000000000002,0.1918,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,4,0,9,6,6,1,1,20,12,14,0,2,11,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,6,12,2,7,9,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,7,8,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23922915871237166,0.0,0.17645299912775356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353663370281407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139186054972035,0.203958551620876,0.0,0.17720391574102096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134397289015587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419708864452094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332575007401634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342445145683318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43003382272466745,0.0,0.0,0.17693198941419713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077379090507947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724973502741896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923208202931786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888627985732445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002348460400245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324465391475284,0.0,0.0,0.28178870177079435,0.0,0.0,0.16642148856301273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760990770053595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514738641327176,0.0,0.1944508437865702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596724044005031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140516615453222,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,codystheme,2018/04/10,"Sudden anger towards people I love. So I’ve had this strange thing occur for a while now and I’m not sure if there’s a name for it or why it happens. I’ll be talking to my parents (who I love dearly) and then I’ll suddenly just feel so disgusted when they say they love me. The same thing happens with all my family members. Sometimes I can feel all sentimental and want to hug them for hours and then within a second, I’ll feel like I want to run away from them or like I just hate them and I have no clue why. This also happens with my friends; I’ll enjoy talking to them and then when they compliment me or say something nice, I immediately want to dump them and be alone. This doesn’t just happen with people, though; I have 3 dogs who I absolutely adore, and then during one of these short episodes, I just find them repulsive and as if I couldn’t care less if they died. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder, but I haven’t seen this described as a symptom of either. I’m not sure how to deal with this, but it’s starting to worry me a little. I don’t want to feel so angry and repulsed by everything my loved ones say. I’m not even sure if I’m posting this in the right place; I’d just like to find some advice or to see if anyone else experiences this.",3.2945539033457223,4.469609486988848,4.526131970260224,86.56838011152418,73.08921933085502,7.7591821561338294,25.71765799256505,8.238735603445708,1.4415351672862449,1028,33,220,16,20,339,135,269,0.155,0.698,0.147,-0.6629,1,1,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,10,0,16,23,4,0,7,0,11,7,0,1,5,57,36,37,1,10,20,1,4,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,15,16,0,0,6,0,0,1,8,5,0,3,3,9,30,18,28,30,7,22,0,1,2,5,25,8,0,10,15,147,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810153506470334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397544803383406,0.0,0.08028314706340724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679931912679698,0.0,0.0,0.07019615913974556,0.10286308459829244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432123734274127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235595348580794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349935825247378,0.0864671603918838,0.10189538719041932,0.10419065802249804,0.0,0.2301150018993835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386432157358611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630772217495028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022552018377722,0.09820227389725077,0.09464029039247457,0.0,0.2030440902007007,0.07171979769298316,0.0,0.0,0.18351225488230227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756232123637154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35510393338944884,0.0,0.0,0.09911594655926667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886552928364316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713883249987295,0.10061878310566093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624294481610492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360559279033838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114730201551914,0.0,0.0,0.1391978260053209,0.0,0.10488788192996293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614742692541016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573390009665095,0.0,0.2395063513248069,0.0,0.0,0.07999912819599139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728637840677742,0.09928988514807068,0.0,0.07105770961487211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838537583334578,0.10434533870926767,0.0,0.16138197246681538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333914709567504,0.0,0.0986342628555376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368543283525891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117565514190406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195256935605293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aylapocolypse,2018/04/10,"Help Me Since I was little, I had a verbally/mentally abusive mother who abused drugs and drank too much. In July of last year, I was sexaully assualted and bullied to the point of needing to change schools. In February of 2014, I picked up a razor for the first time. I was 11. I have self harmed on and off since then. My girst diagnosis was anxiety, then depression on top of that, for which I was prescribed sertraline. It remained that way until recently, when I took 2200mg of said sertraline in an attempt to emd it all. I didn't want to die perse, I just wanted to stop feeling. My mom took me to the hospital where I remained for 24 hours, and was then admitted to a youth inpatient facility for 8 days. There, I was diagnosed with DDMD, or Pediatric Bipolar Disorder. I got on Lithium, and after tweaking the dogage three times, we found it was makomg me too emotional and sensitive. My therapist advised we stop cold turkey, and talk to my psychiatrist in about a week. I'm scared. I'm confused. And I'm sort of numb. If anyone has any expertise or similar experiences, it would be greatly apprecieted. ",4.289586570477248,6.150354334905662,5.637680355160935,76.85471143174253,71.68867924528303,9.705216426193116,31.810210876803552,10.056822442137396,3.5014974472807996,877,41,162,25,17,294,136,212,0.166,0.778,0.056,-0.9747,0,0,1,0,1,1,31.0,2,0,0,3,7,6,0,2,9,0,14,6,0,1,1,28,28,16,1,5,4,2,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,11,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,2,16,3,22,1,31,10,2,34,0,1,0,0,11,13,0,5,18,108,30,2,0.0,0.3374910718891573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685112927186784,0.0,0.10895163630731756,0.0,0.0,0.09958403912588328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066247989941967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918497300366019,0.0,0.122666954846165,0.14455426549075034,0.14781045989151792,0.0,0.16322674654449745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651630854019605,0.0,0.0,0.16020439850342275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931501674565802,0.0,0.0,0.0720123111813438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114318662551407,0.0,0.15615721968813406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390704346881254,0.1570195992724512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546176013751073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025594643694586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609208226098652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427432064145443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680169438642434,0.0,0.0,0.10469578481933067,0.1056033292153308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346338315038611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406235055341124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547493674919694,0.0,0.1425882156749828,0.14413760407219958,0.0,0.0,0.14857611086037986,0.0,0.0,0.2356241618154321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381405814221345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144725641495106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536169910366616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660936015836246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164698297935482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800713166401693,0.11304712031776233,0.11424149474125347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117175604814886,0.0,0.0,0.09171442182433008
mentalhealth,Ba0tm0an7,2018/04/10,"What is wrong with me? I am extremely uncomfortable in most public situations. I feel like everybody is judging me. I'm lonely but also want to keep to myself. Intimacy makes me uncomfortable, romantic and just family togetherness. It makes me feel smothered. I feel like I drive people away because I can be easily angered/irritable. I've lost many of the few friends I've ever had because of that and my tendency to isolate myself. I feel like it's impossible to connect to people and when I think about all these things, it makes me depressed and I don't really see the point of living. I'm seeing a therapist but I don't feel like we're on the same page.",2.885030048076924,5.4026869140625,5.120312500000002,75.88959134615384,78.296875,8.625961538461539,26.25240384615385,9.265573868473778,2.7397925480769234,527,21,95,15,13,183,80,128,0.156,0.6729999999999999,0.172,0.4963,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,3,2,23,24,8,0,1,3,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,7,17,5,13,21,5,7,0,3,2,0,2,4,0,1,6,63,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194826608025205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327180447232282,0.0,0.0,0.1859161303100215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134164103389304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793827457209726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437564387651447,0.0,0.3855241673302513,0.4357629361678175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178153938144038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554241721473176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29800069965303505,0.0,0.13465374739743208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646367154413494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053699562138885,0.15460354773650556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114383173106404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441547839071559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769065550767583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24303369581981896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140805606387924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705564592897666,0.1013092983277208,0.09771109184832227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899440782801791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672670430902656,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MOTORRUNNER,2018/04/10,"Don't know what to do, my anxiety is taking over my life So I had experienced disassociation a lot during high school and it completely took over my life, eventually it kind of went away and recently it's back in full force. I've had panic attacks almost every day, had to run out of work just to cry and freak out. I feel like I'm not here and everything is a dream, the world is fuzzy and scary to me. I'm constantly worried, I can't relax. I'm on effexor 70 MG along w Buspar 10mg (I take it about 3 times a day) 
I just recently bumped up the effexor from 35 mg to 70mg and this is when I noticed everything going wrong.
I need help, is it normal to experience worse symptoms when bumping up? Will it eventually calm down? I'm trying to accept my disassociation but it's so hard. I haven't had any traumatic things happen in my life (apart from a few medical issues that scared me) ",3.0191569086651038,4.298400240437162,5.305671350507417,80.3052049180328,73.91803278688525,8.944418423106947,25.093286494925838,9.424239791934726,2.022728649492584,696,22,148,17,14,245,110,183,0.14300000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.07,-0.8725,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,1,2,6,0,14,5,0,0,0,20,27,11,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,3,2,0,4,4,5,0,0,6,3,15,5,24,20,3,28,0,0,0,0,1,15,0,2,10,89,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361358268650393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752995418782737,0.0,0.10971527309623264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631600114335243,0.13474703202443655,0.11028048959782508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503722719058617,0.1549851730264817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753922466366396,0.18498700077080327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083683700584386,0.0,0.2577918059629971,0.14029146901054387,0.0,0.0,0.07251704201363493,0.10245868426646794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150841985412494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682509907752448,0.0,0.12847540662878112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613084703190088,0.15153022819494485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969235283086638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934899643765234,0.07881942552898229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30390360520609644,0.07006736246420538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192985028470425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444797261055029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063434978805656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052033659766128,0.0,0.16328367651643255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827149553149134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28321825786821136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435876096340422,0.1451478576201604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906743266701228,0.21566673539101985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528132430813148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362887183209891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934397581959664,0.09737220268249464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295100817438507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441086444674076,0.14564912966603358,0.1461563876741119,0.0,0.15680634893655665,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,T3Kgamer,2018/04/10,"I need help with my anxiety I've tried 3 different anti-anxiety medications and the first made me have horrible headaches and just made me feel sick in general. the second and third made me have more anxiety and physical side effects like shaking.

I don't like taking drugs for mental health issues regardless, it makes me feel weak in a way... I know it sounds dumb.

I don't have any coping skills and I went to a therapist and he helped me to know that, that doesn't work for many people.

I just don't know what to do, my anxiety is more rather triggered than just there. when I go to work certain people cause rouse and that tends to give me a really bad anxiety attack.

I've never been to a therapist, at least not for long

I just need some advice on stuff like how to stop an attack, or how to distract myself because even when I try to ignore the situations it just stays in my mind and I can't stop feeling it physically.",5.636642228739007,5.684305704301077,6.357233626588467,79.60130498533728,67.2258064516129,10.204496578690128,29.27468230694037,10.018931242160765,2.601017204301076,735,23,149,16,11,242,105,186,0.217,0.72,0.063,-0.9781,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,12,12,3,2,8,0,11,5,0,9,2,43,28,13,0,4,8,0,3,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,9,9,0,3,7,0,0,3,7,8,0,3,5,4,20,4,19,23,4,18,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,2,10,97,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225345561957258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781181981808971,0.0,0.43939113468139307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613713133467724,0.0,0.0,0.09591491679277557,0.0700260694822526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800714932683465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001878657138693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321726586564928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587313433466138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425110182879408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771168939613133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019752215942907,0.0652854904793034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210559487558295,0.0,0.0,0.1539951212377951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198985171477285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893950906237372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683647701643654,0.0,0.0,0.10165979572179468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260894143100698,0.07667922711876543,0.11646411484518428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572337925326401,0.115765882924657,0.0,0.11598990250648335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035509781303007,0.08859784135563394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927821082028373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359116843643301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912308817671267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244030389251405,0.0,0.19207946540538665,0.0,0.0,0.13150314392206972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637088429190254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667549274691269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598368910975996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118156303550516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064892656969272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725914964301852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlauntThoseCupcakes,2018/04/10,"Self loathing or depression I truly cannot tell if I am depressed, or am just self loathing. I've thought of speaking with a therapist or psychiatrist but I dont want to be wasting anyone's time or my money. That is if there's nothing wrong with me. But since I'd say, 8th grade about eight years ago I feel like I've had the same feelings of, I don't know what I want in life where it seems everyone else at least has some sort of an idea. I used to enjoy drawing a lot, I tried to balance drawing and music and soon music replaced drawing. Music was later replaced by writing after another failed balance act. Then I picked up photography and for a long while I worked at that and a couple years back picked writing back up. Now I have no motivation to do any of it no matter how much I talk myself into it. Even if I have the stuff lying in front of me, I can't get myself to do any of it. I've moved around a couple times for school and internships away from home because I end up feeling stuck and trapped. As soon as I leave I get bored and want to go home but as soon as I'm home I feel trapped again. I've had a couple of incidents in life but I feel others have gone through a lot worse and so I have no real reason to feel sorry for myself. I can't help but feel negative all the time even if I try to stay positive. There's a contstant nagging voice in my head and it's only heightened if I'm inebriated that absolutely nothing matters and that there's no real point to life. What's the point in doing anything if all I'll do is die at some point. Then I get the reality check that I'll be a leeching bum if I dont figure something out. 

My days as of the last 2 or 3 years are filled with scrolling through facebook and not being productive. Should I be on some sort of medication, should I talk to a professional? Is this a normal mentality that I need to find a way to get over or am I just a lazy, whiny, dramatic loser? 

Walks, writing my feelings, sleeping, reading, none of that helps like it used to.",3.831467594163556,4.3820934964370535,5.016921445537836,85.87398752969123,71.28028503562945,7.819511367492365,28.33737699355277,7.83500028581142,1.565551001017984,1586,56,344,19,28,526,201,421,0.202,0.736,0.062,-0.9955,0,2,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,19,10,1,0,20,0,31,6,2,7,2,83,57,39,1,14,21,0,8,2,0,2,4,3,3,2,18,17,0,0,16,1,2,7,13,7,0,1,6,11,37,3,57,45,11,53,0,4,0,0,12,21,0,21,25,230,55,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432181368521844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403231148904353,0.0879167585797333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862501683931483,0.0,0.06899569429890683,0.07463809895608532,0.0,0.0,0.07877331459852377,0.12894027527958132,0.0,0.05110995103255165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783122527445472,0.0,0.05407183738827431,0.0,0.144427809046656,0.0,0.08701585892909271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965268832394632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004011793125894,0.0,0.07426006501749445,0.0,0.0,0.11075510047050588,0.0,0.0,0.08011563662547756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391485617736488,0.05989749865221231,0.0,0.0,0.07663103768453991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17521815294026932,0.0,0.04764994303127319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604716804718958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123964712557558,0.0,0.2523042752831793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464860906784378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046077952964065666,0.06834328409654263,0.0,0.08877769431412633,0.0,0.0,0.17766249794788758,0.08192296785402574,0.0,0.0,0.07419846950908704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256074232026222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446306198086309,0.08449408414988759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911190375119774,0.061634296036936376,0.06216856644778681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821483970072944,0.16089935421798465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376642506793734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23777637586314335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838657488925508,0.19086351519971234,0.0,0.08620462948528576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667536634298799,0.0,0.0848536526544132,0.0,0.07632757268936413,0.17493319366367724,0.0,0.0,0.06935584545188847,0.0,0.08390361022489569,0.0,0.0,0.06454648361211474,0.0,0.09385544107993506,0.0,0.08936554604058053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598024416016916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347797510486866,0.07328252977129453,0.0,0.0,0.09734825459605656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656202409659939,0.14666868719946705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384786796147535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482696780021348,0.0,0.0,0.14835842685308356,0.06655071827210426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061038746078469125,0.0,0.0854432408184596,0.0,0.09166922395429973,0.0,0.16197654476725915
mentalhealth,kalesandwiches,2018/04/10,"Ramblings/Taking off work to try to set up Outpatient care I've been out of work the last couple of days to try to get into some sort of intensive program. All my boss knows is that I'm having a health crisis and I'm trying to find my best option that is also affordable.

I've been dealing with some pretty intense anxiety and suicidal thinking for the past 5 months and being overworked absolutely pushed me over the edge into not being able to function. The only other person with my job description at work left suddenly leaving me to learn her duties on the fly, train someone new, and do everything I used to do. 

I've had issues with anxiety and generalized depression since my teens so I thought I could handle this with meds from primary care doctors until I had the motivation to get more specialized care. I was too depressed to do anything but work and shower and thought the meds would get me to the point of being able to make that initial appointment and be patient. That was a mistake. 

I'm trying really hard to avoid going inpatient (which I've done before and really didn't like). 

I found an outpatient program that sounds like exactly what I need but costs $4800 with copays. The team there really want to help me so they're seeing if they can work with their finances team now to get the financial burden on me to be less. It's a shame because the program sounds like exactly what I need where I'm at right now. The other outpatient programs in my area are all too intensive or don't allow me to at least try to keep working. 

I've been working with my employee assistance program, as well, but they haven't been able to find quite the level of care I need with their resources. The person they connected me to is concerned that she doesn't have the level of care I need.

I guess I'm just looking for perspective from anyone here who's been in a similar situation and just wanted to get my thoughts out because I keep getting confused and tired. I'm trying really hard to be strong and level headed so I don't go to the hospital again. I just don't want to deal with making all of these plans either and I keep getting ashamed and paranoid that people at work might know that I'm out because I'm losing it. ",7.297355568790947,6.621356835616439,7.543349215803058,74.89902025014892,63.97716894977169,10.722414135398054,34.1119714115545,10.074871250255047,3.294343537820131,1786,66,331,34,23,583,210,438,0.109,0.795,0.097,-0.6738,4,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,5,16,17,21,0,4,21,0,35,4,1,6,5,82,80,25,1,11,10,0,2,3,0,2,3,2,1,2,18,28,0,5,11,2,2,3,7,9,1,0,15,6,36,12,62,56,10,38,0,3,2,0,15,24,0,9,13,218,54,22,0.2112757614625964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0563190500366027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077502528211313,0.0,0.0,0.049242974940261065,0.0,0.05795398327405735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879174319687886,0.0,0.05992670393651689,0.0,0.07390695899211859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590161993374868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056228834620902175,0.0779242038430518,0.0,0.04541846257857353,0.1452106886535884,0.1213143358415522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208323145917464,0.0,0.07206948578461693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329367708761316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287348122624472,0.0,0.0,0.07721765579445132,0.0,0.0,0.2575600189837041,0.0,0.08004858939401804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758135689700403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261743889878187,0.0,0.07227662810642717,0.07485875157824308,0.0,0.0,0.0472045631354879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350566793361829,0.06988619762227641,0.18779160432281186,0.0,0.0,0.07740775544089491,0.05740598139742085,0.0,0.07457017519239273,0.07651724433788196,0.0,0.0,0.10321866509969818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913947615611656,0.07878784494327905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401880757297176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645316151595115,0.0,0.0,0.07471006509336117,0.0,0.0,0.0562127657037016,0.0,0.0,0.20887773341208307,0.0,0.06801714898772533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356157901424617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722887355558739,0.04882400363296916,0.12298523041541623,0.0,0.0,0.06657462831443632,0.0,0.0,0.07164780147159051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490592625433197,0.0,0.0,0.18046488375733505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601427819659697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056119809306880215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058256497715112286,0.07916093599711854,0.0,0.0,0.059671089023832564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703379719879755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045125659001295816,0.0,0.1677293548697361,0.0,0.08094346929373307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868847470557726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082480765512782,0.0,0.0,0.12461591807686605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332076091793172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101633883385191,0.0,0.0,0.05002807971509874,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShibbyShibby89,2018/04/10,"Want to go to hospital Pulling my hair out and wanting to cut myself after drinkin a fair bit. Mostly tired. Steping down from 120 on cymbalta, at 90 for the last 4 days, 60 tomorrow. I took up my good chance and drank alcohol tonight. I wont get to for the next month at least. And my brother who is an ice addict, has drug induced skitsophrenia has no where to go after tonight. Will be staying here. So i really want to pack up my stuff and leave, before i do something stupid.
 Id rather be in hospital so I dont have to do my drug change alone. ",1.462646822204345,3.485536230088496,2.8269831053901875,93.0913676588898,80.50442477876106,6.586967015285603,24.432019308125504,7.686295010490155,1.1286176991150438,426,16,95,7,11,138,79,113,0.119,0.792,0.08900000000000001,-0.5313,0,1,5,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,2,0,4,0,11,7,1,1,0,11,19,6,0,4,1,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,2,1,11,1,20,13,3,23,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,9,60,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396910451245814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19995543782291605,0.0,0.19378153686456834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921026109038905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426723267589555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792940528309444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066549318512455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928248082214874,0.0,0.4339584917247456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977532198864629,0.0,0.21266907705853225,0.15693251697882446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251333188815808,0.0,0.19811430100533828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934325628487713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19898539933940765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986251275845655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404047753166158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19942613766409595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141873488494951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504654908884951,0.0,0.0,0.2078775194822755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310733204024359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CounterintuitiveEck,2018/04/10,"I'm in 6th grade and I have depression... I am not sure if this is normal. I have depression at a young age, and I'm not sure what to do. I also have rows of self harm scars all the way across my left arm. Summer is coming up and I need to wear short sleeved shirts. My mom is very loving and I don't want to hurt her if she sees my scars. Any help? ",-0.7527531645569603,0.8521380759493695,1.4055537974683538,102.57390031645572,85.96202531645571,4.9626582278481015,13.67246835443038,5.985473137389443,-1.2217481012658231,264,3,72,2,8,88,54,79,0.149,0.735,0.116,-0.1722,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,9,4,3,0,3,15,16,7,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,1,11,3,8,16,1,11,0,3,1,1,6,6,0,2,3,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735812075822764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932225142035722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181631127380992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035797118298979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703670844110748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080759524670976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545520049685924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145191362909996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743924793667299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371981405444287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295501580362687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866953011851872,0.0,0.2444109910490441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416228368120947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933101678083275,0.1381877251851652,0.18596501518382916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therapybabble,2018/04/10,"I have so much repressed anger - Trying to express it in a healthy way. Hello everyone,

Without going in to too much detail, I had a very passive manner of communicating all my life. Due to turmoil at home, I had to keep my feelings to myself and be a people-pleaser outside home. As I have grown over the years, I have repressed a lot of anger against family, some friends who have upset me, and especially my significant other. I feel my significant other has gotten the brunt of everything, because I cannot handle the slightest rejections or arguments from him. I know it is not okay to expect nothing of others but everything from my spouse. As I process my anger in therapy and think more about everything from the past, I feel like I am not able to control. I keep thinking of things people and done, and for once in my life, I am communicating to old friends, my parents and even other people how their actions make me feel. They feel like I have lost it all of a sudden, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep things to myself. For example: I used to be so passive that I would rather take the wrong turn in traffic to avoid having someone honk at me. Now, I do not take a wrong turn, and I wait it out,  let them honk, but try and wait till the next car would let me pass, and avoid trying 3-4 extra miles. 

So sorry for the rant. Just wondering if anyone has gone through a phase like this and does it ever end? ",8.196052197802201,6.365904324999999,8.276428571428571,74.08703296703298,62.89285714285714,11.043956043956044,36.53846153846154,9.661875296680813,3.3006236263736266,1121,42,218,17,13,367,149,280,0.162,0.754,0.085,-0.9674,1,2,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,2,11,20,3,6,14,1,23,2,0,4,3,53,47,22,0,5,11,2,5,3,2,2,2,0,2,0,15,11,0,10,10,0,0,7,5,14,0,0,6,5,37,6,40,35,9,28,0,2,0,0,11,10,0,5,13,165,52,0,0.10478807901983392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327026129486182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387784036270512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175287409319584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170075410465993,0.10723458648124512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928111352619074,0.0,0.0,0.06921153791268987,0.09478681670418204,0.0,0.10012950009792357,0.28253030594605905,0.0,0.09878487499969144,0.0,0.26492000640956936,0.14972124917883514,0.0,0.0,0.09577440582801316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191801982530954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059553480149200276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022197430923428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794213780626793,0.0,0.0,0.05758878778428516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21430582081469127,0.14802983832674346,0.1535824870763104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438856670859678,0.08908707752549587,0.0,0.0,0.069946856438508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406259030096253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144331083243086,0.0,0.0,0.10054698796965028,0.0,0.10995746167910822,0.1115958842431886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635476091844585,0.0,0.10003207844272052,0.14529371988547726,0.0,0.0,0.11502584349423073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878659930333598,0.0,0.0,0.11730167533631575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757518877115048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198343007308213,0.0,0.13923308698485726,0.13428793975745326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134326815529249,0.22795867863840805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905032556523544,0.0,0.08646113948678376,0.0,0.08317589964234806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101196880379988,0.11363820173682845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887688963765228,0.22913862899991444,0.0,0.06748008727664911
mentalhealth,blaberly,2018/04/10,"DAE have to have things completely perfect before they proceed? I'm really not sure what this comes under, it's probably me just being me but I've noticed that unless things like my notes aren't perfect, I have to rip them up and start again. So if the colours aren't right or my words aren't curled enough. Same applies when I'm cleaning or doing other tasks, unless it's exactly how I want it I have to start again and again. Really don't know what it's all about, just wondered if anyone experiences similar. Thanks guys ",2.8364423076923084,5.156354375000003,3.669846153846154,87.27515384615386,77.36538461538461,6.8523076923076935,22.9,7.908726449838941,1.2092646153846158,421,13,82,7,10,134,69,104,0.016,0.8240000000000001,0.16,0.9424,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,9,5,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,1,5,24,19,12,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,11,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,9,5,8,18,3,11,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,5,8,58,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274747239252965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805707527449956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004975329237484,0.2440388361238045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240497786428858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276787228224177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23046371029976576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791587588755401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371217159460155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649927268508117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509488938486584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29821719466328256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198771210705506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32948989732616035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936851561884307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21428922238836715,0.0,0.0,0.30926371190358753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728473087777646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524125036960683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sodabitters,2018/04/10,"Anxiety in good times and bad Today I'm uncomfortably excited, and I don't know why. It's kind of an awesome feeling, but it's so similar to my default of being uncomfortably anxious and depressed and not knowing why; it's just the positive version of that.

I'm finding it quite interesting that even on a good day like this the anxiety is still there in the same quantity, with just a different quality.

I wonder if I'm manic depressive, my father has been diagnosed with that disorder...",6.2235483870967725,7.137451516129037,7.837795698924732,66.47669354838713,66.09677419354838,12.221505376344087,39.155913978494624,11.855464076750405,5.377030107526879,393,22,66,14,6,137,64,93,0.193,0.595,0.211,0.4659,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,17,12,7,0,1,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,4,6,9,10,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,2,5,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033063326547185,0.22395493409663972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552223840607214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784849184893146,0.0,0.3414878883265877,0.2012095716117817,0.0,0.20711875554244244,0.227200377908632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093574440658526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023617244625446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181187898728805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325488520072272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20643660229253172,0.2178951956686895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685012007930167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085279330175855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831483379629513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559542123728438,0.0,0.18790847538189254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35776178846508194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149829780723488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slightlybiggerleft,2018/04/10,"Telling in detail. Has anyone ever told another person in detail about sexual abuse they have experienced? Specifically childhood sexual abuse. Did it help, did it make things worse? 

I’ve told people it happened but never told anyone what happened, should I keep that to myself, it’s been 20 years.",5.599038461538459,8.605113134615388,5.712153846153848,72.63284615384616,71.5,8.006153846153849,23.861538461538462,8.841846274778883,2.2694569230769237,241,7,35,5,5,76,39,52,0.14,0.826,0.034,-0.6966,0,0,0,0,2,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,6,13,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,3,0,4,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,23,10,0,0.0,0.4559123749351397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017425549473361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26905361098516184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403196643054175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402678890281656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289580715014447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100919578560764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842491598403122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838660690776934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338221843967832,0.16799157839901244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681613952550027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781844966790773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515239694397267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606657461175075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389584007563458
mentalhealth,ypno25,2018/04/10,"existential thoughts hi everyone. I thought i'd share my story here to see if someone has any advice. I'm a 17 yo italian boy, and for this past year my mental healt has been great, no problems at all. I passed the best summer of my life and in september i began a relationship. I was so happy to have found someone like me, and i was really involved. However, the 24th of december i woke up feeling dizzy and confused, and later that day i began questioning my relationship with that girl. I obsessed about it for 2 weeks, and we ended up breaking up. I thought that was it, but after that i began having constant existential thoughts, something between the need to ruminate about the topic and kind of a nihilistic feeling. From when it started to now i could say they have almost disappeared, but are still kinda annoying. I've seen a psychiatrist and he said i don't satisfy the criteria for an ocd diagnosis, and i'm currently in talk therapy. My question is: any advice? Do you have any experience with this? Thanks",5.254618800888231,6.760528854922281,6.477620281273129,73.17514248704664,68.74093264248705,9.866617320503332,33.99296817172465,10.125756701596842,3.767328941524797,811,39,141,21,14,273,122,193,0.091,0.8079999999999999,0.101,0.6062,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,1,1,1,1,7,11,1,2,10,0,15,1,0,0,1,31,34,14,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,9,12,0,0,9,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,15,6,21,7,23,18,2,26,0,0,2,0,16,6,0,6,18,98,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623175868684973,0.0,0.0,0.1344025187190316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738237828522805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408562137364818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504475989805934,0.0,0.10716420829004328,0.0,0.0,0.0865611677140197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188795915381135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282535122425354,0.0,0.1312934782148709,0.0,0.0,0.1357319121821796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716593372449802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797865885500713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288029894908805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977007546143827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480396218663052,0.06557339367924228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352627715685312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995228563842742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812872714487633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843096432535156,0.0,0.0,0.3007155258324005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598513788519993,0.0,0.0,0.28820533590215197,0.0,0.0,0.1276745039568469,0.10673758923643786,0.0,0.0,0.10695642145719306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22744931692632364,0.10332955681121532,0.0,0.0,0.09500201450610216,0.0,0.10718872535509533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788141478533472,0.0,0.1235722732566141,0.15349292606899548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262245789679642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766364998848936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643365033480828
mentalhealth,Seleucids,2018/04/10,"Does it matter when you take your antidepressant? I've been taking Pristiq for around three months now and I like it. I take it every day at night (usually from 11:30pm-1:30am). However, I have been thinking if it would help to take it in the morning after I wake up. My reasoning behind this is that it might be more effective right after you take it, and, currently, I fall asleep not long after taking it (although Pristiq doesn't seemingly doesn't make me more tired). Am I wrong to believe this? ",5.126413373860185,6.766324042553197,5.213100303951368,81.60500000000002,69.21276595744679,8.350151975683891,28.322188449848017,8.841846274778883,2.2382358662613977,396,14,72,7,7,124,65,94,0.036000000000000004,0.856,0.108,0.6897,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,10,3,2,3,0,13,19,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,0,11,1,12,14,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,12,55,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811281015887867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874524437309942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730085436317603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559960603998467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018169704081512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111520506567473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812844991708216,0.0,0.0,0.14724040379089468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105944373760177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765020953797755,0.0,0.0,0.13280233287706456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561356586688162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106558313178494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208697349811195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146542371449406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7505789553454671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660910761045099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912284766423251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324324196231853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819104810719833,0.18190959516457447,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greatpretenderblog,2018/04/10,"Great Pretender Blog! (Mental Health Awareness) Hey guys! This is my first post on Reddit (so I hope I'm doing this right haha). But, not too long ago, I created a blog based on my experiences with mental illness. I then turned it into a platform to give others a voice through art, photography, etc. I realized how much I wanted to be heard; therefore, I knew others wanted to be heard as well. The blog is not a place where I go to complain, because it shouldn't be. It's a way to give others someone to empathize with. I'm seeking out those who would like to submit their art in relation to mental health or anyone who'd like to share their personal story. If you're interested, you can find it on Instagram @greatpretenderblog or website at www.greatpretenderblog.com. ",4.620208333333334,6.7637883819444475,5.069166666666668,80.0925,71.43055555555556,7.5777777777777775,27.277777777777786,8.344100000000001,2.0041777777777767,613,22,108,10,12,195,95,144,0.036000000000000004,0.812,0.151,0.937,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,2,1,5,9,0,0,6,1,10,3,0,2,0,20,22,8,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,2,3,3,0,2,12,4,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,1,1,1,3,3,12,8,20,13,2,18,0,0,0,0,14,11,0,4,6,74,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520773671491444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453980450700076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985709369903298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269152097512695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023767385821694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971942949907374,0.13933675552064448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31428307706072883,0.0930970335502174,0.0,0.0,0.18060117225913572,0.0,0.16219771610354605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482448727686328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627003536211665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005864438985948,0.0,0.0,0.14496675055264366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4952460435304826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041924419991025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303262816797166,0.17114665016777264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688475863705975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989289837274033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387957344129011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781783088082728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323883812598625,0.1300248029195516,0.0,0.0,0.14728491902800506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636596849356964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FormerSecretary,2018/04/10,"I can't keep my eyes open during the day. I can fall asleep at any time! For the last few months I can’t keep my eyes open. I have been though strenuously studying all day everyday. It doesn’t happen when I’m active, only when I’m concentrating on something, like reading or watching TV. I sleep well at night.",2.1366666666666667,4.2474470317460336,3.301825396825397,90.09178571428572,78.6825396825397,6.104761904761905,21.61111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.5440920634920636,245,7,52,3,6,79,46,63,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.7644,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,6,4,4,0,1,6,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,3,7,2,4,10,2,15,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,1,10,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321856279238694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475142862389545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382520587904293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789554851547464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21961772282206968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162767845273127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505284461406549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25283755800812924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491021540817334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269498386535412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26962005203192,0.0,0.0,0.2074168944974916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647091623942732,0.0,0.15710416182004386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422458597804176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FalseSelf24,2018/04/10,"Paranoia at Work My background:  Im 33.  I have a bachelor's in computer science with 6 years experience.  I've held jobs as a DBA and various development experience, including ETL and data warehousing.  So far, I've had the ability to learn a lot very quickly when needed.

Myself:  I had a mental breakdown several years back, and part of it was workplace related.  I was placed in a group where I was the minority, being the only young, white person.  They saw me as a threat, and their solution was to create a hostile work environment with mind games, including racism towards me.  I got angry and did mind games back.  This esciladed and with my personal stuff at the time, i broke.  I'm now diagnosed with bipolar with delusional tendencies if I start getting manic.  I've been properly medicated for 3 years with no manic episodes, but I can still faintly feel where I would have elevated without medication, and the paranoia peeks its head from time to time.

My problem:  I have a family that I'm supporting, and my wages are low for my job and experience.  My current title is Full Stack Developer.  I'm getting paid 54k/year salary.  I do rather enjoy working there, and I'm getting in at a great time for upward mobility.  There are 5 developers, and our work is swelling.  The company is employee owned, so the compensation is rather well if I stay there.  The problem is that I don't have extra money to invest in something that will really only pay off at retirement.  My life is for my family.  I want to give my girl every opportunity I can give her, and the ESOP is too late.

Also, it's a very conservative place, and my sense of humor has no bounds.    I've had a couple slips recently that are cringeworthy when I think about them. Including accidently pointing out my coworkers appearance right in front of him.  I always mean things light heartedly, but sometimes I say some stupid shit, and now i look like a bastard, and I don't know what to do.  It was a gesture that was completely subconscious and involuntary.  I don't know if I should bring it up and apologize.  It doesn't seem appropriate because we're best described as coworkers.  Perhaps the best thing I can do is apologize for this tendency of mine and try to indirectly hint at this fuck up that I had last week.  I mean, if I apologize directly, I would just be bringing attention to it again (his skin is really scarred up from what I've assumed to be acne he's had in the past).

Beyond that, the last few weeks I've noticed my coworkers have been interacting with me differently.  I've noticed some meetings that I've been excluded.  I've noticed that they don't listen to me as they used to.  I have a 1 on 1 meeting scheduled with my manager, but h keeps pushing it back every day (3 days now).

I know so much of this is in my head.  I know they're just busy and stressed and tired, but part of me thinks that because they showed the new guy the project I'm working on that it means that they're preparing to replace me.  When the reality is that I'm tripled up on projects right now.

But see, even if it's all nonsense and if this phase passes, I'm still left with the wage issue.  I've been there for 5 months, and I've demonstrated ability and skill, but I'm sure it's too soon to ask for a raise.  That's the dichotomy I'm dealing with right now.  The work I've done is deserving of a raise while my paranoia is telling me that I'm going to be terminated.

I'm tired, and I guess i could use an opinion.  Work is a trigger for me, and I'm trying to weather the storm, however much is real or perceived.
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mentalhealth,somerandored,2018/04/10,"I’m thinking of taking St. John worts I’ve heard it boosts dopamine and tbh I need that. It would be a replacement for comfort eating. I was skinny when I self harmed but obviously I don’t want to go back to that. I’m still a healthy weight but have gained a ton of weight since I stopped self harming. I meditate, exercise, and all that Jazz, but it’s still not enough. It would maybe also help with my depression which would be good.",1.3818181818181827,3.821877181818184,2.055636363636367,95.99845454545458,84.0,5.792727272727273,21.3,7.1686216300943375,0.4929509090909092,344,11,76,5,10,106,61,88,0.149,0.653,0.199,0.431,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,8,5,1,0,2,16,16,7,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,8,3,4,1,1,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,3,7,2,6,9,3,6,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533168388548303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741933056999576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651264578052353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617540654682272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980959738421008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895777425846888,0.16080398707035326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850455387213822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260652919877894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215648955854765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.400007433650245,0.0,0.0,0.15859113508892275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062125318811361,0.16028485715338384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414809851455165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284517201236933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308026098996385,0.0,0.0,0.4669218213715639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085729623055488,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cantescapeme,2018/04/10,"I feel so cut off from others I've tried to be ""normal"" and attempt to make friends by managing to maintain an acceptable persona of normalcy  at least once a week in trying to grow some friendships. However, I always feel judged, whether or not this is real or simply a figment of my imagination! But it seems very real to me! I long for significant connection with others yet find it challenging to follow through. I require a significant amount of down time. I feel comfort in isolation, and of course cannot share my insane life with anyone as i know I will automatically be judged and rejected. So, what am I to do? I for the first time in my life found the perfect pharmacological cocktail that allowed me to feel normal however, no sooner did I receive this miraculous healing than it was ripped from me because I got approved for medicare which automatically removed me from being able to now afford this magical cocktail! So, now i'! So basically ground zero! I've done the counseling, etc., but to no avail. I have absolutely no support system. No body is left that loves or cares for me. My parents are dead, my best friend and sister are dead, my children consider me dead, and I've got no real friends, in fact, barely a phone number to call in case of emergency and that would in fact be considered a real inconvenience! So what do I do now? End it all? I'm 63, alone, and with nothing in my future that looks different or positive. Which of course only adds to my burden of feeling absolutely worthless. I can only offer, burden, selfishness, toxicity etc. I can absolutely without the least bit hesitation make this proclamation I have nothing to offer anyone of any valuation. Anyone out there have anything to offer, a solution perhaps that might just give me reason to continue? Any tips, or suggestions on how to manage to keep going? If not then how to stop the madness? I feel totally worthless. Am I right? Have I exhausted all if any precept of value whatsoever? I'd welcome any realistic suggestions!  ",5.57221198156682,7.388326559139787,6.847342549923197,69.63387096774197,68.35483870967742,9.722887864823347,33.715821812596005,10.041961382958581,3.8081725038402467,1608,76,264,41,28,544,197,372,0.18600000000000005,0.672,0.142,-0.9756,6,3,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,0,7,13,22,2,0,12,0,26,6,1,6,6,62,48,26,3,5,14,2,6,0,3,3,4,0,0,1,19,12,2,3,13,2,0,5,9,9,0,2,6,7,35,13,54,35,11,35,0,3,1,1,18,15,0,10,14,195,54,4,0.09842084906712162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193431745848977,0.0,0.0,0.08189403075367828,0.0,0.0,0.267718209441463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206454438199365,0.0,0.08099197278241907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999643608202347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328660901209458,0.0,0.10745007640487482,0.10932337592138903,0.0,0.0,0.10049869100814092,0.0,0.1003466150296715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282883946523913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071869958459853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717165941778016,0.0,0.21953052617268395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29858723102381124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995487300333062,0.0837167239381796,0.0,0.10791338098111307,0.22811911153735814,0.0,0.0,0.09441424663012338,0.05593483663420202,0.0,0.15743228782929233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748097281571125,0.0,0.0,0.054089524719723316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693454048694544,0.0,0.1390351126928209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709935430090082,0.08264872529213778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882865888957728,0.0,0.13139336200544333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440896754240722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928630707217787,0.1888749182097627,0.0,0.0,0.10481499214745547,0.0,0.14970698145772188,0.0,0.0,0.10928470556682154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44809789321757304,0.0,0.10119302481026568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405086734093882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959864456212943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228423681400666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168681318154064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147799771410816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364259200473536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120750794553099,0.0,0.0,0.07894726846754621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487418634451594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991534734517131,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,9jakep,2018/04/10,"Mental Health Awareness Publication I am looking to start a publication that spreads peoples' stories of mental health in order to raise awareness and help those going through similar situations. Email me at 9jparrish@gmail.com if you are interested in sharing your story.

Thanks!",11.367829457364344,14.132295860465119,9.758139534883721,50.63085271317832,55.51162790697675,11.314728682170546,46.89147286821706,11.20814326018867,6.467114728682171,234,14,26,6,3,72,37,43,0.0,0.765,0.235,0.8858,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,7,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,1,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671100448635508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5862034668307422,0.0,0.0,0.1848246061873685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315545291523762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5557678334092941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911653586974968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099464935009974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951721939426029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25386695016261024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Redbon3434,2018/04/10,I’m Triggered Similarly to Someone Suffering from Anorexia Nervosa but I don’t have Anorexia Every time bodies or weights come into a discussion or even being at a gym I get triggered. My mind begins to think about how I need to lose more weight because I need to be skinnier. I think about this for awhile and become very anxious. After this I will stop eating food for about a day. What exactly does this mean?,3.947160940325496,6.2133696835443075,4.49497287522604,82.93696202531646,73.68354430379749,6.53960216998192,29.00723327305606,7.447530270364453,1.889439783001809,331,14,58,4,7,105,58,79,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.8844,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,5,5,1,3,1,17,14,5,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,4,1,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,13,11,1,8,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22318445289260969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042960166672442,0.2181874319392256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944254483841366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017883499513636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740864951935507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288444986017626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20215128623437925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048528087735833,0.0,0.16645124415179885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888807356669764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321596840278928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210170127488892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151987184462909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994773926267302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929736985554874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739036145759595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516744176960174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531745438137463,0.0,0.0,0.1151977336413646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300614624604245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811451568911732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slythery_snek,2018/04/10,Help with a question I want to see a new therapist how do I go about it and “quit seeing” the other one also want answers to questions about switching meds (these worked great at first and now I just feel bad again) ,4.248062015503876,5.244149,4.269767441860466,89.97968992248066,70.62790697674419,6.663565891472868,25.96124031007752,6.42735559955562,0.8180449612403105,169,5,35,1,3,52,36,43,0.076,0.7190000000000001,0.205,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,11,7,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,3,3,1,6,7,0,6,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,2,4,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399683825042146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921092206992416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633659114302028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570799966028868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076114871729114,0.0,0.0,0.2536666942406439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421940466462636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555697142841404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22221504717170545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590981093253786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5154899627755403,0.2447209885120375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666918198716625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671434378893013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714171599948861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750275122564848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,steven15383,2018/04/10,"Is this behavior a disorder? Someone I know is awkward in public social situations. He doesn't seem to be completely aware of his surroundings like bumping into people, he is very very soft spoken, and doesn't follow social norms which comes off as rude. For example, when we asked a stranger for strangers, he turned away after getting directions and kind of just walked away while murmuring thank you. I'm really confused, is he socially awkward or some sign of a disorder?",8.348117647058821,9.021859341176473,7.976470588235292,68.15411764705885,61.470588235294116,11.976470588235294,38.17647058823529,11.602472056035307,4.909870588235293,384,18,60,11,5,122,65,85,0.163,0.782,0.056,-0.8202,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,1,0,0,2,7,1,3,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,16,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,0,1,4,3,13,15,1,12,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,4,4,36,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735278125846975,0.0,0.3363767928847989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420365624565147,0.18769149050096195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103283020573677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352678734168454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864142596964589,0.0983807404813678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745660040709417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410491954760565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468016863301865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296650865070245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201217861343136,0.0,0.5474429466808476,0.15167694477271612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481091365294165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471449622803624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29540857701101897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadbutfalse,2018/04/10,"How do you let yourself be loved? I've dealt with such bad depression, self harm, self doubt, and self hate for so long that I truly see nothing in myself. My last serious relationship ended after a few years as a result of me not having all my shit together and her having to deal with me in my ""lows.""

I'm in my first serious thing since then, and I'm so so in love with her. She's dealt with some of the same stuff, and I've not been afraid to open up to her. I just can't expect her to deal with all my self hate and doubt in myself and the relationship.

I can't push away someone else with all of my shit. I can't let my issues get in the way of my happiness anymore.",4.556017241379308,3.6937072482758637,5.720129310344827,86.33467672413795,69.6206896551724,9.18103448275862,25.71120689655172,8.472884824447931,1.2771551724137926,521,11,124,7,8,175,79,145,0.2,0.706,0.094,-0.9381,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,7,16,4,3,5,0,10,4,2,2,3,26,18,12,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,13,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,13,0,1,1,1,22,3,25,14,6,19,0,2,1,2,16,10,2,3,7,87,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131389067008142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244023697453856,0.0,0.1105557670821002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27301519353372306,0.11404345363724705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061051185039472,0.0,0.11727484253653385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262680649993413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917810161750955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095156573157488,0.0,0.2614524359286022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820032356293396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107930795360379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707938149854826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717756813275118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23900811464607385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704975699724205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843148680846324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551262266612016,0.0,0.5525247718672928,0.0,0.2718313374418883,0.10952987790196833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121894956167683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157632864784273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796648325627364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509989459631616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526688729093289
mentalhealth,YumYumSalad,2018/04/10,"My sister seems to be at a breaking point and I don't know how to help Hi Everyone,

I will start by giving background on my sister. She just turned 23 on St. Patrick's day and has had a history of Mental Health problems. When she was around 14 she was napping at her friedns house and one of the boys that was there snuck into her bed and sexually assaulted her. We went to court, she testified against him and he was found guilty. She barely graduated high school and ended up finishing her last semester online. She then tried college and ended up failing some classes, so my parents and her decided to try Community College. She did that for awhile and dropped out and is currently sitting at 2 classes shy of an associates degree.

When she was 17 she took one of my other little sisters cars without permission and was called and asked to bring it back. As soon as she got home she started screaming at my mom and sister, ended up attacking my mom, my other sister got involved and was also tackled to the ground. The police were eventually called and they handcuffed and took my sister away to an inpatient mental health facility for a mandatory hold of 72 hours.

She emerged from this 72 hour hold having not talked to any of the counselors and completely unchanged. The following years are filled with highs and lows, not being able to hold down a job for more than a month, and constant fighting with my mom.

Fast forward to 2 months ago. My parents are divorced so she had been staying at my dad’s apartment. It is a nice apartment complex being that my dad makes a very good living. He is out of town on business a majority of the time and my sister was sleeping there alone that night, as she did many nights before.

Her and my little brother (18) smoke weed there together and had done so earlier that night. She even ate an edible as well. My brother left and then got a call at midnight with my sister saying that someone had broken into my dad’s apartment and that she needed him to come pick her up. My brother arrived and she was hysterical, sitting in the bath tub. She made him check every window, door, closet, and anything else to see if there was someone still in the house. My brother found nothing. All windows locked, no signs of forced entry, nothing suspicious.

A few days go by and my sister talks to my mom about that night saying, ""I wasn't sure if it was just a dream or not but now I am sure that someone broke into dad’s apartment and raped me that night."" She says it was one or two of the maintenance people at the apartment. They came in and held her down while she was asleep and raped her but she didn't wake up. And when she did wake up that next morning she had all her clothes on with no signs of abuse. So, my parents talk with her and decide if she wants to file a police report. They end up deciding against reporting it to the police but now my sister refuses to sleep at my dad's house and moves back in with my mom. She is completely paranoid now to the point where she locks every door in my mom’s house, every window, draws all the curtains, and is sleeping with a knife next to her bed.

At this point she is sleeping 18-20 hours a day. She refuses to get a job and is constantly fighting with my mom.

Then 2 days ago she calls my mom who is out running errands and says, ""It happened again. The neighbor climbed through the garage window and came downstairs to my room and raped me while I was asleep."" This window is literally 20 feet in the air and was confirmed to be locked. My dad happened to be heading over there and found my sister inconsolable saying she is going to the cops and that she wants my dad to go with her to the neighbor and confront him. She then tells my dad that, ""I think the neighbor heard the maintenance people from your apartment talking at a bar somewhere and overheard that I don't wake up when people are raping me so that's where he got the idea.""

My mom tells my sister that she needs to go to the hospital and with very minimal pushback my sister agrees. My sister, mom, and dad all go to the hospital and talk with the psychiatric people who then advise her to be placed in an in-patient program with a minimum 72 hour hold.

So, she is currently there with today being the second day. She has called my mom and said that as soon as she gets out she is going to the police to file rape charges against the neighbor. I know that you are not supposed to dismiss someone claiming sexual assault, but in my opinion I think these are nightmares/sleep paralysis. My mom is completely overwhelmed and so is the rest of my family. Any advice or literally anything that can help with this situation is greatly appreciated. Thanks

TL/DR: My sister has history of mental instability. Claims she was raped twice under highly unlikely circumstances. Need help.",6.105964347564187,6.558889370171678,6.068601761915518,80.67641329719149,66.24248927038627,8.815028988780965,31.908817107145552,8.637753336247197,2.436892417739628,3831,145,724,53,57,1207,360,932,0.098,0.867,0.034,-0.9965,7,1,1,0,8,1,86.0,1,2,3,2,36,25,12,1,49,0,65,21,11,4,6,131,113,84,0,9,17,43,0,0,4,1,2,8,18,1,34,74,2,7,13,4,1,20,11,18,1,6,46,9,116,7,122,59,9,147,0,4,1,6,147,67,0,9,57,505,150,13,0.041027819021757964,0.04861125662216891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04009190990992868,0.07273737217168393,0.0,0.0,0.04249244716372218,0.0,0.032809932048757096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055800647677315685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752479851633973,0.03652345733212037,0.038355472436885016,0.04667506710551294,0.03854698652415648,0.06309572066320275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034911652145859035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946995203189048,0.09384979005038327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03534183323587661,0.12905066297217274,0.08867299392557186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229774561125618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041985703413771294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034273478217928935,0.0,0.14535387980568668,0.0,0.0,0.02709848752129438,0.0,0.10370312112346726,0.039203839283847706,0.0,0.0,0.03867737639132785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495465768334305,0.0,0.0,0.04287068415617186,0.03935762250104726,0.1399023302191526,0.03441218804376153,0.13125477933718085,0.04523331531241302,0.0,0.0,0.07256152972897494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042106378842398005,0.08722130614563545,0.0,0.0,0.08250024678292929,0.1300444301401818,0.041154247682713085,0.0,0.16161654924657212,0.18936237860273225,0.0,0.046315413752269614,0.0,0.0,0.08142755936553134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04509563272839203,0.03344314841279252,0.0,0.0,0.04457684541291832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224130610918917,0.03622831586070156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03882151436955025,0.027386387783259317,0.041595768917233926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403917518373778,0.0,0.0,0.5766154292930722,0.06549602742988338,0.0436060786644075,0.0,0.09126482382907904,0.0,0.0,0.08726710196019657,0.19250914425618887,0.0,0.07873459775554961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834045359323355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366696131258885,0.0,0.0,0.113774095302025,0.0,0.042865338551591255,0.0,0.1163536510158621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03925808187583344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03902685116571163,0.1631348421108916,0.0,0.04152234322073856,0.0326938598707056,0.037350185540289925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611698757868719,0.2052872441099325,0.0,0.1390509516673219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058079402945251775,0.04373019615217128,0.03276486926857027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733646776742596,0.0,0.0,0.16488303411763022,0.07172024439868177,0.037772903493907786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525779395968381,0.0,0.0,0.023923651208567726,0.0,0.03888957517566585,0.0,0.0911668330848223,0.055710391958004216,0.04462648566086151,0.04007821760898907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677044949475085,0.048398541306339256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036888936543544304,0.0380331992732993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03954935345583864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026420570300127056
mentalhealth,iei3u3i3292ne8djdi,2018/04/10,"I have no life So i suffer from mental illness ocd which i currently in therapy for which causes me lot of anxiety which harm my ability to do stuff because i get a obsessive bad thought in my head and just obsess that it will happen for example get cancer, have heart attack while playing sport stuff like this.
I have got to the point now im just done and fed up with everything i get up everyday just stay in bed, watch tv,video games,youtube and reddit that is it i am so bored, depressed and feel trapped with my current situation, im trying mt best to get out of this but it like im running in quick sand and getting nowhere.
I have dreams to play pro football/soccer i've been tols by coaches in the past im good enough and its something i want to do yet i have 2 issues with 1 is im scared i am going to have a heart attack while playing football which i mentioned earlier and i've told my therapist about and 2 is that when i go to a trial or join a new team i cant do it like i cant get out the car im frozen scared, last year i trained for 3 months for a trial travelled good few hours in car to get to it and freeze in the car and couldnt get out to even have a go. So iv gone on longer than i thought i would thank you for reading and would appreciate your thoughts!",2.067163636363638,3.3631588981818186,3.487909090909092,92.31986363636364,76.38181818181819,6.745454545454546,24.863636363636363,7.348242739294969,0.8923454545454543,1007,34,233,12,22,331,147,275,0.145,0.715,0.14,0.2614,2,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,12,21,2,4,10,0,23,8,3,1,0,32,45,19,0,4,5,0,3,3,0,3,4,0,1,0,17,17,1,0,4,9,0,9,4,11,0,0,9,4,25,10,37,32,4,39,0,2,1,0,5,14,0,2,18,143,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878510613789267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458370812367999,0.0,0.0,0.0750756809941345,0.054811650048980455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436076269892098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236797981099787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744408248175015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201476746838826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929067403336734,0.0,0.059388335201717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081024744426703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04546397498677128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758170722986624,0.0,0.1533031405540133,0.150833699258047,0.0719136337957835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951197362781595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227923657576048,0.0,0.0,0.2131005845797416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885486486400567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5827449729640912,0.09384841405326258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329312776511826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350997191750557,0.1317845044146745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644293685396415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061366872926803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176968877562231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868409435676055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583451234640901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499920426731815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993982554329734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004218902323518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106878159396522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922133948800334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583795204367672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20586345509007806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827821055501902,0.1028262026115233,0.10439881776446527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414857367076995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591810693323071,0.0,0.061046717629924724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053034487480460836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774677304156293,0.0,0.0,0.057902629582978524
mentalhealth,NappyHeadedRetard,2018/04/10,"Weird, Messed Up Feelings HELP I watched so many videos about the Illuminati and I was feeling like they were getting to my head and I was soooo scared earlier and couldn’t fall asleep having this really distant feeling.

Now I have stopped worrying but I can’t really feel my emotions and I feel distant from myself...

I need help I’m so retarded ",2.1471212121212133,5.020300681818182,3.003333333333334,86.5916666666667,87.63636363636363,6.56969696969697,27.03030303030303,7.793537801064563,2.138103030303032,279,13,51,6,9,88,47,66,0.199,0.655,0.146,-0.5608,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,7,2,2,0,0,13,15,7,0,2,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,5,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,6,11,1,4,11,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26903891821055953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6046686133170365,0.17086618212045795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495871073406055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454618542899321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206270104665458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168484916746801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424852207608713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734472784103467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064423878218621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23945521879008655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996044118125725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428931319328624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheRedBaronIsStarin,2018/04/11,"Do we know why Nicholas Cruz committed the parkland shooting? Sorry if this isn’t the right sub, but unlike most shootings, the shooter is still alive. I tried looking online but no answers. Can’t seem to find any documents of his explaining why he did it, or any “manifestos” of his. I feel like he or the government would’ve gotten a explanation out of him because I’ve heard he’s quite cooperative with police. Just wondering if anyone knows ",4.757246127366614,6.994326686746991,5.38368330464716,77.5831325301205,71.28915662650603,8.598278829604133,31.1342512908778,9.23628265651192,3.0301648881239243,357,16,62,8,7,115,65,83,0.048,0.852,0.1,0.6428,0,0,0,3,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,1,20,14,6,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,6,1,6,11,1,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,7,2,34,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33541142572138105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724379715209392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503333688541887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246952521071025,0.1761808136460809,0.0,0.0,0.22540037353140915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710647832388272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048295385946715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20709332280479045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623039325683273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106066771233736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245077701511977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760637480136915,0.0,0.0,0.19694594905953752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674344543650111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450608529656427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674419423171912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175187234232395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lad_Bloke,2018/04/11,"My depression linked to a friend So I have depression myself and Basically one of my friends tried to commit suicide a year before I met her and after we became good friends and she told me about it, it affected me much more than I thought, most of the time when suicide, hospitals, padded rooms and stuff like that are mentioned I start to feel sick in the stomach cause I imagine my friend when she tried to commit suicide. It's gotten to a point where I feel guilty for not helping her even though I didn't even know her when she tried to commit suicide. She is really nice and for some reason I blame myself for not helping her. It's also gotten to a point where I dreamt that I went back in time and was trying to stop her from suicide. So yeah... I just wanted to let that out here.",4.293716915995397,5.286583607594941,4.57510932105869,87.84451668584582,70.51898734177216,7.264441887226697,25.756041426927503,7.348242739294969,1.089891139240506,622,18,128,6,11,195,88,158,0.242,0.612,0.146,-0.9651,0,0,0,0,0,8,12.0,1,0,0,0,15,9,0,0,6,1,6,2,1,3,3,27,17,13,5,1,3,0,2,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,8,8,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,8,2,28,7,21,8,4,19,0,2,0,0,19,8,0,2,11,96,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314427970504008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956137801369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911086336925658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196509644347556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20063790888718505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538600627100414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778558901765855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599503411647227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769293223915662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614024132823728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401110831450542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910263817309898,0.0,0.05690335216105798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562185048857075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892585098932785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202113067229924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461627814525515,0.119754752983444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244095332162067,0.0,0.0,0.09737754625448186,0.0,0.0,0.13333495543477306,0.6370186951273867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443519224103932,0.09246740924890692,0.13583394543001295,0.0,0.0,0.1112959748389506,0.0,0.31631301907620585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869943013070601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797263907542648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500548877530924
mentalhealth,AutoHelpBot,2018/04/11,"The problem of bad luck/fate I don't know if this is the right sub for this, but I'm going to post it anyway. 

I have a big problem with chance/bad luck whatever you want to call it. Whenever something bad happens to me (where I have no control over) I take it personally, VERY personally. Even if it's something stupid like dying in a game or other minor inconveniences. 

If I can't logically explain exactly why something happened, or if it's something I had no control over or couldn't see coming in any way, I get incredibly angry (even if it's about someting relatively unimportant). When this happens I feel like the world is conspiring against me, or I think that God must hate me or something. It just feels so unfair. I have tried to rationalize these thoughts by thinking ""It's just bad luck"" or ""Shit happens"" but that just won't cut it for me. I feel like I'm missing a crucial piece of information, the missing piece of a puzzle that would explain everything.

I know this probably has to do with the troubles of my childhood where bad things would constantly happen to me for no apparent (or at the time, understandable) reason, but even though I understand that and the fact that my reaction to these issues is probably unreasonable, I can't rationalize these thoughts.

Do any of you have the same issues? How do you deal with random and seemingly inescapable bad luck?

",6.594870689655174,7.188925773946362,6.912104885057473,74.56057112068967,65.20689655172413,10.203160919540233,35.469588122605366,10.125756701596842,3.61068754789272,1101,50,200,24,16,357,129,261,0.232,0.674,0.093,-0.9931,1,0,5,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,2,14,20,4,0,12,0,20,1,1,4,3,59,50,21,1,12,18,0,3,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,23,6,0,2,17,1,0,2,8,14,0,0,3,4,24,6,26,42,3,18,0,2,1,0,11,10,1,18,7,141,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306199665775545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532931421094085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923924420587971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794240290369367,0.0,0.09777911311357412,0.20296696087057076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932831744759538,0.0,0.0,0.09390623763452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792879179499971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813195664552424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725155604081166,0.12928100259819245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047273214648431684,0.0,0.051423119057094575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000655503421165,0.0,0.0,0.08933243927641839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888798162284259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945330090418963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261509651868522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580111328329982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665693539295624,0.0,0.19511022911216694,0.17315848979142565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303077072694936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727130386365204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210259811685832,0.08237159601991946,0.0,0.0,0.0928786773747498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482880881225991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803135326703352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060112352718695534,0.11595467967243885,0.0888983014640121,0.14366551865777424,0.0527608980830327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061431473955142125,0.0,0.0,0.1883903211114044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465729053116718,0.053368745493094234,0.07182055824905224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164611131293427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855191672269936,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Astoeboii,2018/04/11,"My Mom is extremely delusional; She was talking about stuff that has never happened and claims that she has met famous people and speaks of completely irrational situations. This is also bad because she made up this entire scandal about my father and this random woman; and it just starts random fights all the time. I’m here because I want to know how I should react to this, should I play along or something?",8.7318,8.570950146666673,7.770500000000002,72.74775000000002,60.86666666666667,10.166666666666668,33.416666666666664,9.516144504307137,3.0978666666666665,331,11,54,5,4,102,55,75,0.147,0.8079999999999999,0.046,-0.8439,0,0,1,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,3,2,18,14,7,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,8,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,8,1,7,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,3,3,42,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886638114711285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22851615451244706,0.33367256415971963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28695428310531085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420193891087471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041052090774384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589680572360703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205374217564719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110833088500189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973922644853708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076342299567785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106966477098618,0.0,0.0,0.19371616989212515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133046846122238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199782244977172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958835135848212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142693579456546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,need-perspective,2018/04/11,"Should I leave my job or stick it out? Throw away account.  Anywhere, US

I recently took a job that has me at the front desk of a business owned by friends.  The job is done by two of us at alternating times. Lots of interactions with public. 

The pay rate is quite low (the boss and I acknowledged that before hiring) but I took the job because I thought I could help the friend through a transition.  I haven't been at a job outside of my home for a while and it sounded like fun.  I'm an experienced front desk peep, but also a lot more.  I've owned businesses, been a COO of one and have helped others in a variety of ways with back-end systems to organization and leading.  

I specialize in helping people figure out how to improve their systems or find and use the best ones for their needs.  The boss that hired me actually hired me previously to do just that for them.  The funny thing about me is that this systems / organization brain is really just a coping strategy for my own ADD and PTSD.  I've just found ways to work around those limitations and it ended up being how I made money for a couple decades.

In the last few years though, I've come to better understand who I truly am and my true gifting and passion are in the Arts, in serving others and in making the world a better place. I've been researching an idea for a nonprofit I want to launch but put that on hold a bit when this need came up for a friend.

_______________

Back to present...

Asked to do job and then soon after asked to research a new way to do the primary aspects of the job hired to do.  Was also told to make sure I know how we are using the current system and to make sure new system would do what we needed after transition...so some of what we currently do but also needing to transition with us to a new way of doing business.

-Asked questions.
-Got familiar with current system.
-Found issues with underutilization of current system
-Found challenges with current training procedures
-Since I've been with so many businesses, I wasn't surprised to see areas with huge strengths and areas with big weaknesses...all business have them and all owners are not highly skilled at all the areas it takes to run a biz.
-I spent a couple months researching potential ways to go and had a spreadsheet with over 10 options segmented into those that won't work, those that I had concerns about and then those top three that I would recommend.

Prior to the holiday weekend, things seemed to be going well, in fact the owner gifted me with an item as a thank you.
After the holiday weekend, all hell broke loose.

Suddenly, I was receiving text messages that said others (not those who hold my position at work but those who hold a completely different position) were going to research programs.  There had apparently been some questions raised to the boss and so she decided to have someone else do investigating.

I was incredibly confused and felt like I was blindsided by something.  
I reached out to a friend and family member of the boss (who works at business) to see if I could get clarity on what happened and was essentially told that nothing was wrong with what was happening and I had no right to be upset.

I did not handle the next couple of days well.
I was quick to defend myself.
I sought to understand the situation by reaching out to people I previously had gone to for perspective on abnormal situations at work...later to find out everything I shared in my frustration was shared with the Boss.
I thought my job/share partner had contributed towards the confusion since she too felt underpayed and had told me she was looking for work elsewhere.
I felt like my expertise was not just being undermined, but that I was dealing with a level of unprofessionalism that was shocking and startling.

Once at work I was pretty much ignored by the boss and manager.  I did my best to assess what had happened, but really didn't understand.  I was asked to put together the recommendations for the program I liked as well as what I had found on the one the other team was to now look at (which I had already ruled out as not compatable with our needs).  I emailed it to the manager who later said she didn't get it.

After the manager left and while there were still a few employees remaining.  The boss came up to the front desk and began a very hostile conversation accusing me of things related to the research and my recommendation.  
I was shocked.
I defended myself.
I got a bit dazed and my breathing was far from normal.
By the end of it we had a quite heated discussion at the front desk with employees and clients on the premises.
She ended up leaving when I tried to move the conversation to a more private area and was told I was lucky she was leaving because she was about to get truly angry.

I made it through that day, but was a bit shell-shocked and stunned.  I think I stared out the front windows in shock a good deal and yet made it through the rest of the day.

Oh yeah...forgot to mention.  The week prior the boss had given the official ""Let's go with them"" regarding my recommendation. 

By the next day, I was still in a state of shock.
I arrived at my normal time and yet tried to stay mostly to myself.
I was doing normal things associated just with my regular front desk job.

At some point I was called into a conversation where it became apparent I was likely to lose my job.
I was told that the boss had never experienced anything like that, that I was not a good fit for the culture of the company, that I was wrong for speaking up, etc.

Thankfully, I was able to stay calm this time and tried to listen carefully.
I was able to try and explain a bit, but really tried to honor her position.
I did end up apologizing for how I had responded the previous day but also tried to explain that I felt I was dealing with a hostile exchange and was caught by surprise.
We seemed to be able to hear each other.
She admitted to giving the go-ahead to the program but then accused me of doing ""too good of a job"" on the research and performing at a ""much higher than expected or wanted"" level.
She then accused me of sending too many text messages (She leaves most days about an hour after I arrive and isn't responsive to emails. Since I needed clarity on how things worked, I thought text was appropriate...but apparently not.)
She also said employees were complaining about me. (yet I have had multiple former and current employees from this biz comment on me being the best ****** they have ever had.)
She said employees were complaining that I was spending too much time on the computer...which I thought she had asked me to do as it was part of the research and info gathering.

__________________

Ok...I know this is the TBI thread and you may already have quit and given up since I haven't mentioned it yet.

I got a concussion in June.  I didn't believe it at first and did everything wrong.
Once I realized I truly did have one I tried to recover, but then also tried to help a friend and ended up causing a major setback by working on the computer, not sleeping and attempting too much too soon.

My concussion ended up costing me terribly.  I couldn't drive for a few months.  I ended up needing a concussion team to help me with the symptoms. I had speech, occupational and physical therapy and progress was slow.  I wasn't on a computer for months and the limited screen time I did have was with a black and white filter on my iphone and for this artist / photographer...it just about killed me.

Eventually, I worked with a chiropractor and we saw some amazing progress once we addressed the neck injury as well.

Just before I took this job, I had seen so much progress that I was driving again, able to do journalling on the computer and occasional photo-editing.

So...I took the job with the intention of having fun, helping out and seeing how my recovery was going.
I totally forgot about my concussion though as the stress started to kick in.

I found myself at the computer a lot.
I was moving and doing a lot more physical activity than I had been.
The desk situation is not ideal for anyone with back and neck issues so I tried to make accommodations for myself but was told aesthetics were more important.

I thought I was doing a good job and was even finding some ways the owner could save some money and had prepared to share those with her.

Then the hell breaking loose.

So...because of my past one of my tendencies is to take on too much blame.
By 24 hours after the yelling match, I started considering if my concussion had played a bigger part than I realized.

I researched concussion symptoms and TBI's again and reread some of the symptoms.  I had to highlight about half on the list.  

Oh crap...
I had been missing a bunch of things and suddenly felt like an idiot.

Frankly, it was easier for me at first to think that all the ""hell-breaking"" was caused by my concussion / TBI than to admit that the situation may be toxic and hostile.

I spent most of the weekend processing it all and went from ""damn, how did I miss all the signs and how did I not know I'm still totally f**ked up"" to ""that place is not healthy and I need to get out yesterday.""

I sent the list of symptoms to my dr and she confirmed that it could be the TBI or prolonged stress.
I ended up sharing the details with my spouse and a friend and was convinced I would respectfully resign first thing on my first day back.

Then, the day before I go back to work, I get a text message from Boss.  She had talked to the system I had recommended for hours and felt really good about them.  Has lots to process but we will talk tomorrow.

What?!

Plus...she had just chastised me for texting her and had sent me one.  I honestly didn't know if I was supposed to reply or not and how do you reply when all you can think is ""WTF?""  I eventually sent a very simple one.

Yesterday, was my first day back.
Boss wasn't there.
Manager didn't talk to me at all.
My job share partner is distant.

The panic I felt at the end of last week began to rise again and all my self-doubt and confusion returned.  
I did my job but had my son bring me something to help with the anxiety level.

By the end of the day, I felt sick to my stomach and completely undone.

Today, I'm in such a state that I've ended up with a stomach bug or the anxiety is so bad that I've made myself ill.
I'm working on getting into my concussion team and addressing that piece, but this feels like more than just that.

______________________
So sorry about the length of this.  
I'm just truly a confused ball of anxiety and doubt.

Was I dealing with symptoms that affected my ability to remain professional in a normal situation or is this not a norma situation?
Should I run for the hills and who gives a rip about the relationships it may hurt?
Do I try to show the boss the reality of what happened?
Do I confront those who I thought were safe to talk to about their betrayel?
Do I quit?
Do I stay?
Is this my brain not working or a toxic situation that I wouldn't find elsewhere?

I don't remember the little shortcut people put next to the short version.  :-)

**tl:dr  Crazy situation at work has me wondering if my TBI is the cause, a contributing factor or if I'm just more comfortable blaming myself than acknowledging how toxic work can be?**
",3.608236406619387,5.709618688888893,4.64057328605201,82.25579787234045,74.14814814814815,7.984633569739952,27.600472813238767,8.765366971350844,2.2301601654846333,8848,348,1681,183,188,2883,642,2160,0.08900000000000001,0.769,0.142,0.9991,31,0,2,0,1,0,252.0,12,4,8,46,88,100,11,10,161,0,192,18,9,39,17,356,330,149,1,32,55,2,9,8,8,11,8,10,4,2,95,131,0,8,52,13,9,40,31,41,4,15,168,32,223,59,296,136,62,280,2,7,11,1,138,104,4,44,124,1243,318,80,0.09653840283710677,0.0,0.023551888834247026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053266264055103325,0.11580258880570501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538871044986872,0.0,0.0,0.016875473973343418,0.0,0.01986071998248264,0.021484911463745163,0.1128129686577992,0.0,0.022675251828838842,0.11134810923263223,0.020151383489300942,0.04413668574933048,0.0,0.061610302818775185,0.02719143032194814,0.07598332337354785,0.04269018609966383,0.10539493267099766,0.0,0.0,0.05388439236645839,0.02464412573429745,0.05520710736084351,0.024606833909926688,0.07437864933048748,0.0,0.020789821487449338,0.0506093393273654,0.0,0.0,0.07707805926409655,0.08011342991211791,0.0,0.15564820851782726,0.09952685433801348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02521552095328249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0246980758799805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02016136200827875,0.0,0.25651311239288965,0.0,0.026916459484421798,0.01594067614963692,0.021831128073507625,0.0,0.0,0.0433812458189211,0.0,0.02275195362424863,0.0,0.012203179282223113,0.01724176356902851,0.18538401193365625,0.0,0.08823435125248595,0.10264439517072134,0.0,0.13231171981614492,0.11187799583712953,0.0,0.07565599651012518,0.04630421633796703,0.09601374835621483,0.10121479008283192,0.05790793477482563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536859080588209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027201449048706524,0.0,0.11323839883915515,0.025499530730878496,0.024208972326465083,0.0,0.07130316046062471,0.0,0.025836589222965372,0.027245026527078456,0.0,0.05038050554873413,0.3831978747836091,0.0,0.026701359846230188,0.0,0.0530549815019291,0.03934584156061454,0.0,0.10222022955952716,0.026222314287517742,0.02467926439446131,0.0,0.09432757456625876,0.02418921029779895,0.0,0.0,0.0405339722825616,0.02700044480190525,0.0,0.1025918723076916,0.0,0.09134697096539908,0.06444013352675221,0.04893739408767473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779202408586885,0.05130252214989374,0.10645025090440408,0.14316400494010792,0.018614091917933052,0.06992804327170662,0.07700226496617359,0.0,0.09458713773665374,0.02315780029433163,0.0,0.0,0.07710768626166635,0.11447961034287114,0.0,0.0,0.028316753842117518,0.0,0.05227084133695335,0.023039207263997517,0.05019567990655365,0.0,0.05043104190656498,0.0,0.022814998662615847,0.0,0.0,0.02455356546690986,0.0,0.0,0.028212056700678768,0.07278581920280495,0.054072552514479004,0.10268047456415184,0.0,0.0,0.061844972864533575,0.0,0.02383000658048655,0.025911529039587555,0.02733979784437859,0.0206108171365044,0.09183012816989476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057696456144018166,0.043942468107029925,0.025177652100609026,0.0,0.0,0.07985756442718331,0.2170264191788565,0.02415203042927307,0.0,0.020449168861230584,0.03715998947181915,0.0,0.02701670956517241,0.034165189204268344,0.07717281943585358,0.05782176990708913,0.0,0.055292207140344836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04549315109445215,0.1254254555525196,0.03629243229051651,0.07759391139076041,0.0,0.044439795494469136,0.027600019262366084,0.0,0.1122376941123446,0.04639343286611963,0.047424245317607035,0.1149610626126362,0.07036539879448446,0.0,0.02287677948760431,0.13836987145983254,0.10725771766052726,0.16385809644800856,0.0,0.023575997998321274,0.07537491147229723,0.08709285911475757,0.0416890920892964,0.0,0.039827146330025535,0.028470425608548056,0.11494153601897696,0.03871864182461725,0.0,0.08679961794665632,0.022373016651717214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02617294495607153,0.2635541513709087,0.0,0.0,0.051433583665042235,0.0791621914875063,0.0,0.015541891572807744
mentalhealth,GeansaiGorm,2018/04/11,"If you are detained under the mental health act, can a legal guardian such as a parent sign you out? I've been detained for a month and the only ""treatment"" I'm receiving is medication and the fact I'm in this contained space.

Its a viscous cycle. The longer I stay the more agitated I get. The more agitated I am the longer they keep me.

I'm currently detained for another 2 months unless I significantly improve that date is more of an estimate. But I have to leave this place for fear of my mental health declining and as a 24 year old, becoming trapped in the system.

How do I get out is the question I'm asking. I'm beyond frustrated with this hospital and the lack of care.",4.8402222222222235,5.659005762962963,6.255555555555558,76.93000000000002,69.14814814814815,9.555555555555557,31.296296296296298,9.725611199111238,2.9475185185185184,538,22,104,12,9,183,83,135,0.202,0.7440000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9617,2,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,0,3,3,1,1,16,0,9,3,0,1,1,17,19,10,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,11,1,17,18,4,18,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,2,6,70,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001144551019364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784114888605422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107699724305189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945761168350652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475028392722095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994141149312839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40571219961924604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962911985024953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207410065926884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225321653791996,0.38464765721901134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046564942576264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002565541861728,0.0,0.0,0.14514392491729472,0.0,0.0,0.21190743337349208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938924971097785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378669304105544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034121575874417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228959776612547
mentalhealth,Awkwardly-Geeky,2018/04/11,"Am I crazy? If this is the wrong subreddit, please direct me to the right one. But, today my best friend and world told me I was crazy. I’ve been dealing with depression, anxiety, co-dependency, suicidal thoughts and actions, and attachment issues for quite a while. It has caused me to do irrational, out of line things. I have bursts of anger and desperation. I have done sexual favors just to keep the person I’m co-dependent on around. I’m not really myself and I have been trying my best to improve and combat all these mental illnesses. But when my best friend told me I was crazy, my heart sank. And now I cannot get it out of my head that I might be some crazy psychopath. I always thought because people have mental illnesses, it doesn’t make them crazy. Is that true? And am I crazy?

Also, if you have any resources or websites to recommend, I am from the US. And I would be more than happy to have them. :)",2.648393033190932,4.875786530726259,3.6784817614196506,87.4437364442984,77.54748603351955,7.340256325994085,22.26125534012488,8.313332769828598,1.2899310548800522,715,21,144,14,17,230,108,179,0.211,0.602,0.187,-0.4874,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,1,2,4,5,11,1,0,5,0,24,4,2,2,2,30,33,17,1,3,7,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,8,13,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,9,0,26,8,17,20,6,11,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,5,4,107,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468547285901805,0.11932917818285232,0.0,0.0,0.09752418345765584,0.0,0.1097087813753864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766591434434474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742182239266966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451501998031276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473222776287676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785011893486313,0.1235194127166904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467589217244129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159747873388386,0.0,0.07492616377464327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266334073011498,0.0,0.0,0.14718073663624975,0.0,0.0,0.1699423520388142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968349571425926,0.0,0.12747000601464958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572774573736156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890484795447468,0.15213607361969975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971787915497904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942291178346112,0.1252206784001192,0.0,0.1574218665412283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15253491610454378,0.0,0.0,0.09187255695322702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247194127637548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686801272620904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527568662668738,0.0,0.0,0.2277041292785993,0.0,0.0,0.13593656066338988,0.2740701102017273,0.0,0.09736644128629007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250539617863433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018748358615043,0.15679707089335002,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThatRamenGuy,2018/04/11,"Being flooded with past memories? I would do my usual routine of going to class and such and when I feel a familiar sensation like a kind of warmth/cold or smell something familiar, my mind would be flooded with memories from the past. Memories where I felt that same sensation or remembered that distinct smell. The memories are usually from from a week ago all the way to my childhood. The memories make it hard to focus on the things I'm doing at that moment. It's odd that I also can't recall recent memories as vivid as these without a trigger/sensation. Is this normal?",6.3192005242463924,7.2210327155963325,7.046159895150722,72.27954128440369,65.88073394495413,10.999213630406294,34.83748361730013,10.914260884657429,4.195148361730013,462,21,78,13,7,153,71,109,0.041,0.934,0.025,-0.1431,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,9,0,9,0,0,1,2,18,14,8,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,7,2,15,9,2,15,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,11,59,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290918072501494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501112458439365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433240004210027,0.0,0.198120080504834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726855965003485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484134415528414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214872791409357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080797406402492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377344713699616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083459693880269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217073897196736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939523845924112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373721651234106,0.0,0.23374455621782994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885167289076246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708404215367656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4545117500035287,0.0,0.0,0.16378418060904856,0.16551460625582348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890572405439744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931579879000426,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShartBlaster9000,2018/04/11,"Saying stuff out loud I want to keep in? I've had a problem in the last few months, and I have no idea what it's about. Part of my issue is that I've had a number of mental health issues diagnosed so it's hard to associate it with anything specific. OCD, Hypochondria and Depression are all a definite set of issues I've had. The rest I'll ignore for now. 

Recently, when painful memories come back, whether they're embarrassing thoughts, or just things that bring me a great deal of stress, I think ""I should just kill myself"". It's not a serious thought, by any means. Just a thing my brain likes to say. But for some reason, I've started saying it out loud. It's extremely disturbing to my partner when we're just sat at dinner and I say ""ahh fuck i should fucking kill myself"". Any thoughts on what could be making this happen and how to make it stop?",2.779473684210526,4.710603438596493,3.6232514619883065,89.3903157894737,76.01754385964912,7.133099415204679,24.265497076023394,8.021203637495839,1.2672788304093574,672,22,140,11,15,214,110,171,0.219,0.711,0.07,-0.9823,0,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,0,0,11,14,4,3,8,0,10,7,1,4,1,36,26,11,2,5,8,0,1,1,1,2,3,6,0,1,15,8,1,3,7,0,0,2,2,12,0,0,7,7,12,2,20,15,5,18,0,1,0,2,6,6,2,2,10,89,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791362749536626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159679445245612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493287064748247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378218297292122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634957958355036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857250581493987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728150554961304,0.10633563860784412,0.12530897301334076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282729633556812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361147293786096,0.0,0.0,0.1091749843466258,0.0,0.11059562034364898,0.0,0.0,0.13123186306447962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937094739590086,0.0,0.3865794798345782,0.0,0.10973663325296837,0.2731796803228894,0.0,0.0,0.10063611442884296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031616183136587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482058571342614,0.0,0.0,0.13448378133706196,0.0,0.0,0.1244183160565814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854433604324048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136980053032196,0.0,0.0,0.1336947987749527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813423697877752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269371097959294,0.12190153642434726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39272036078333017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738539458984486,0.0,0.0,0.10321781785372837,0.14142264249772782,0.0,0.1413317923172455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404224661409306,0.07910797572629574,0.0,0.2940395780866337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281971602934885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RevolutionaryFriend,2018/04/11,"Is it okay to take a break from therapy, sometimes? So, I recently turned 25. I have had OCD for years, which kind of waxes and wanes in intensity. It can be moderate to severe. I've been in therapy since January 9, with a local OCD specialist. He's really good, he really knows his stuff.

However, OCD is actually interfering with my therapy - I obsess about doing it the right way, worry that actually I should be doing self-help, and things like that. Every day, since January 9, I have been agonizing over whether or not to stay in. My therapist is aware of this, and we've tried to do exposures related to it.

However, I really can't buckle down and do those exposures because the intensity of the anxiety caused by the obsession with therapy is so high. I could stay in a couple months longer, but I don't think anything will get done as I just can't get any traction.

I kind of want to take a break. I would do things during that break like get on medication and pick up meditation, so that when I go back the same thing doesn't happen. Anyway...I guess it's hard to comment, but is it okay to stop therapy sometimes? I just sort of want to give my mind a rest from all of this, because it's been torture over the past 14 weeks and I'm not really getting anywhere (which is 100 % my fault).",4.2556593169044525,5.280278381322958,5.956543450064852,77.78741353220926,70.63424124513618,10.380371811500217,28.674664937310855,10.504223727775694,3.0426335495028094,1012,37,204,30,18,348,139,257,0.085,0.862,0.053,-0.8335,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,0,8,11,1,2,11,2,29,1,0,2,1,32,45,15,0,5,8,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,20,9,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,5,1,18,7,33,34,3,28,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,3,11,133,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.1919891710560012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689473323250053,0.0,0.07525251074320148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809498378845016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564018658502357,0.0,0.1199304476144803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105272468607528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854015875788854,0.10884414343953483,0.0,0.06344028442898486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066630214347462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288067028717984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20557632210335391,0.09436512898911464,0.05590573734756106,0.08250779282871616,0.0,0.0,0.10836525651694796,0.0,0.08698795401500685,0.0,0.08811988198844041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659351008740239,0.10393293297605083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048736997455774,0.054061385429813764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611688141104324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909707039048968,0.0,0.0,0.09932530148567036,0.0,0.07851771377362897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390495886619407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520724591943816,0.0,0.0971281590586052,0.0,0.0,0.08400714109753939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262099549534616,0.11112970135896158,0.0,0.16274477712624086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458019247437186,0.0,0.0,0.20969791051322387,0.0,0.08224142963448915,0.0,0.0,0.11260971113966566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792346465499698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.562471322003497,0.11421474206419893,0.1960572674736477,0.06303129783697535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678653319330095,0.10699792843447332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604193299877733,0.07808124709760815,0.0789061972973615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989915155493054,0.0,0.06987897490081603,0.0,0.0,0.0633468275242266
mentalhealth,bmerri18,2018/04/11,"I can’t get out of bed I’m a 19 year old college student who suffers from depression and anxiety. I have my entire life. But recently it’s gotten so bad that I can’t go to class anymore. I literally just can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I’ve experienced depressive episodes where I can’t get out of bed but never to the point where I miss four days of class. I don’t know what to do. I know I need to get my shit together but there’s something stopping me- it’s pathetic and by now you’d think I’d have this under control but here I am. Does anyone have any advice? I’m on medication but can’t afford therapy right now. If anyone has any tips that help them get up and out of bed and doing things again, please tell me.",1.0399999999999991,2.9137188974358987,3.2916410256410282,89.98669230769232,81.1794871794872,6.724102564102565,21.93846153846154,7.793537801064563,0.8967646153846154,572,18,129,10,15,196,93,156,0.16,0.797,0.043,-0.9387,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,1,0,2,0,14,3,1,1,1,22,29,11,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,8,8,0,2,3,0,0,2,7,6,0,1,1,1,17,0,19,27,0,22,0,4,0,0,5,11,1,1,9,80,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640686705175656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316080970026678,0.0,0.1302725189689362,0.0,0.1688833932042874,0.2381435298399203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218627586047114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099637921682175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982391916294007,0.0,0.2933436108657212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490232250133772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44485135871683823,0.0,0.09678057459020367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414279197463195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871754919360918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028191109793245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155075431655767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626897745328322,0.1313392904135144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869226609634667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692891159684785,0.16098049522611274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814229609638798,0.0,0.0,0.14542799667510092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480176092636854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109870388843392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237130557214445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884226270815934,0.0,0.19474315273076265,0.0,0.11313409498994027,0.10911590672535623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096621323165258
mentalhealth,Boolybong_10,2018/04/11,"Anyone else experience this? I self harm, I am not necessarily ashamed of that (necessarily).  

If I have a clean spell, my scars hurt when I’m sad/angry/upset/anxious/have a general situation where I would have harmed/etc etc. Is that just me being weird as per or do other people experience this? ",3.8510714285714314,6.126851964285716,6.056571428571428,71.5884285714286,74.0,8.765714285714285,25.485714285714288,9.3871,2.412818571428571,234,8,43,6,5,82,44,56,0.168,0.733,0.099,-0.5727,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,6,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756338198822099,0.0,0.17060011952263612,0.2499916625352749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038183208237345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442159683837052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4773286706730877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611911947751874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691486118672342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254529766953399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742495789301022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332008046300554,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlemissthrowaway8,2018/04/11,"Angry, upset, and lost! Need to vent. I hope this is allowed...also throwaway account.

I am so frustrated right now and need to talk to people who understand.

I finally, after years and years of dealing with debilitating depression issues (I'm in my 30s and have dealed with depression since my teens), I have decided to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. 

The insurance I currently have states that I do not need a referral to see a mental health specialist. So I call and schedule an appointment, he tells me I need a referral from primary doctor.

I call my primary and talk to his medical assistant who says he can't write me a referral for something he hasn't seen me about. I tell her, well I talked about my depression at my last appointment in February (That was fun, I literally broke down in tears because it was the second appointment I had with him trying to get back on my meds. He looked at me and told me I wasn't depressed because I don't ""look depressed"".)

She says she will ask him but I can't decide to see a therapist on my own, the doctor has to tell me I need to see one.

My old doctor, who unfortunately doesn't take my insurance now, urged me on MULTIPLE occasions to talk to someone. He even told me I should check myself into a facility for 72 hours to be monitored. 

This doctor obviously has little experience with mental health. He literally had to Google my depression meds (I had to tell him what to prescribe) so he could figure out what dosage I should take.

If I don't get a referral...I just know I will give up and put off seeing a therapist for God knows how long. I am just tired of riding the bipolar express. I have a daughter who only has one parent and I need to be healthy for her. And for myself.

ETA: Any advice is also appreciated. Maybe I am going about this the wrong way ? (trying to see a mental health professional) 

ETAA: I am at the point that if my doctor refuses to write a referral, I am going to report him. Is this overreacting? ",3.879847902390104,5.647074974093265,5.590481363864285,77.15930720374398,72.57512953367878,9.43660371051312,27.99565435400301,9.857291076455118,2.8794485375229812,1564,60,295,43,31,534,175,386,0.096,0.855,0.049,-0.9463,3,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,0,1,15,14,1,1,20,0,35,11,0,1,1,44,65,18,0,12,6,2,0,0,0,4,11,2,0,0,14,17,0,1,6,0,2,4,8,11,1,3,10,10,58,3,51,48,1,37,0,8,8,0,44,17,0,3,14,208,72,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871554271828713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124691885393133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781976959682209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573937511677763,0.0,0.0,0.05407146601788237,0.0,0.08573240516013958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436084384044804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056144514140544194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449929314280842,0.3633972404031378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598756790213925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644546196611433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878610556469658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703173330993532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347822378913609,0.06745701056240208,0.07992854892803312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22423948130159835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984327362054453,0.0692506849803675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339543920006933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729167515635381,0.05731989567361941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047875738334672,0.0,0.06223067251780274,0.1181015817844168,0.0,0.0767621986831817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064553446367168,0.0,0.15621854513413402,0.07083964379262896,0.21259698677933087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128467521050152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378863782437532,0.0,0.09530082194692346,0.05348125833711205,0.0,0.0,0.07808164340505366,0.0,0.0,0.048750787400282006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647479333338124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069066509940881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005259214966591,0.0,0.11184200739846407,0.0,0.0,0.28017826160170073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816913656127672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595816065559156,0.05413549781305532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574324249384852,0.2260810662277769,0.24584987489075086,0.0,0.0,0.16329305421063853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082208687030737,0.0,0.13438686752924972,0.0,0.09548484537262517,0.0,0.0,0.07320522983933679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581646066309582,0.0,0.0,0.06322580542021902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688349225535576,0.0,0.09056709102552796
mentalhealth,allisonthe13th,2018/04/11,"My best friend is coming home tomorrow! I'm excited to see her, but anxious about what the future holds. She was admitted to an inpatient clinic almost a week ago after a suicide attempt, and despite being concerned for her to jump right back into the last half of her last college semester, I can't wait to have her back around.

Since a big problem with her struggle (and something I struggle with myself) is consistently open and honest communication, I was thinking of implementing weekly coffee dates or something. I want something special for us (and another close friend, who's already on board) to share regularly to make sure we're all doing well and, if not, to talk about it.

This is outside of therapy, obviously. We all have therapists. My concern is communication with each other.

How should I ask her about this? I don't want our reunion to be completely centered around ""this is how we're gonna keep this from happening again,"" but I also don't want to wait to bring it up, and I want to come up with a set time and day as soon as we can.",6.511417910447763,6.859037915422888,7.028072139303482,74.50837686567165,65.3681592039801,9.88407960199005,34.16293532338308,9.725611199111238,3.2515203980099505,835,35,152,16,12,274,125,201,0.085,0.754,0.162,0.8908,0,0,3,0,0,1,26.0,4,0,0,2,13,12,0,2,7,0,17,1,0,3,4,46,35,16,1,7,5,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,9,21,0,4,2,0,0,4,4,3,1,1,2,1,22,9,33,29,4,31,0,0,1,0,18,11,0,3,15,113,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921712448781666,0.0,0.1346721432021939,0.0,0.14841287773777065,0.10755147283190407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102431887032849,0.0,0.15193523306629286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394489341303929,0.1257298413669453,0.0,0.0,0.2068287638216833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113878495754864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23170216941927865,0.14101003370935694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673481780874454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078130265283349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189289173426204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490427060279273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954074519638876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192543320471794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977300950389451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868860929144513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485358464754235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071709864082902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125138167665613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106105377606011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811959538048717,0.0,0.14711005141564454,0.0,0.12675507830438842,0.0,0.0,0.1080978353627282,0.0,0.0,0.15380084776015765,0.15615306477858368,0.0,0.08617565610473496,0.0,0.0,0.07842210459852787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177471276829067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31730235787609457,0.0,0.2157592674171752,0.0,0.1209225136633934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scaryjokes,2018/04/11,"How Do You Know What is Mental Health Driven and What is Behavior? My sister has been acting very strange for about a year. She was hiding an affair, she's been for the last month living away from her kids and seeing them 1/2hr here or there. She's been lying with manipulative tactics to get people to watch her kids to do...? She always lies about where she is going. If you ask her if she is ok she pretends nothing is wrong. She claims she has anxiety, but it is acting more like guilt for using everyone in her path. She refuses to get help. I just don't know where the line is in helping her. I've been reading on how to deal with the manipulation that I now realize I have been catering to for our lifetime. She just has gotten way worse. Has anyone either been in my situation or hers? Was there anything said or done that made a difference?",3.2978571428571435,5.112996880952384,4.261428571428572,85.88357142857143,74.23809523809524,6.942857142857143,22.714285714285715,7.7094869923839395,0.9494357142857142,668,18,134,9,14,216,102,168,0.116,0.809,0.075,-0.655,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,2,1,1,12,4,0,1,6,1,24,1,0,6,0,23,36,10,0,2,9,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,4,0,1,3,2,0,4,1,2,0,0,13,3,26,2,20,23,2,16,0,0,2,0,31,7,0,5,5,101,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572300352430501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455404641848818,0.0,0.0,0.13212537509523056,0.0,0.1554981555772542,0.0,0.17665229223265594,0.0,0.17753434113889796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480968330475112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19742320538295532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933719043937684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055958208332226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744782542391787,0.0,0.10739044414314436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008558711863969,0.0,0.0,0.25331209651931585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20769518363412454,0.1540277945035919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231641575724768,0.0,0.1668553307758805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787987232489164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042745168382194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082623994086636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131242151196328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100122000108286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890113492068073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974443486233235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057682570843164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239919753421327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320095478143767,0.0,0.15591196597320522,0.0,0.14998782241137104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925666012759312,0.0,0.20659833041665188,0.0,0.12168418244076047
mentalhealth,LifeBeforeBeth,2018/04/11,"Should I seek professional help for possible obsessive-compulsive tendencies, or am I just over-thinking? I know it's probably nothing i should worry about, and I may just be eggatterating my behaviours in my mind. But, I think if I write my behaviours down and share them with others, I'll be able to achieve some clarity due to feed-back about the course of action I should take next, if I should take one at all. But, this is Reddit: Everybody comes hear when they need to hear the cold, hard truth. In no way will giving me feed-back result in me self-diagnosing myself. So, here are my indications of possible OCD:

•Ocassional nail-biting to the point of my index and middle finger-nails being bitten down to stumps. 
•Over-plucking of eyebrows and general  excessive grooming of ones-self when under intense stress. 
•Patterns of controlling behaviour in romantic relationships, I.e: Excessive messaging when relationship is not in a good place, over-thinking and irrational perception of circumstances. 
•Intense mysophonia around certain people, making certain noises. 
•Striving for perfection in certain aspects, in my case: Perfect grammar, or make-up.

Again, feed-back: Much appreciated. 

",7.804075907590757,10.09150795544555,7.420415841584159,65.84752145214523,63.5049504950495,11.327260726072607,36.73399339933994,11.20814326018867,5.018012805280527,965,47,139,30,15,304,137,202,0.054000000000000006,0.772,0.173,0.9702,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,4,11,9,0,1,4,0,13,0,0,3,7,40,23,15,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,4,20,8,29,14,3,24,0,0,0,0,11,15,0,6,6,94,23,2,0.1378774378305829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227401513835478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318057717076176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052645216767974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187692041883638,0.0,0.0,0.15464127048350254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994269710077578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226460189536002,0.0,0.1156450533015625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351110240745433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31079578612404585,0.0,0.09241634024618522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577383402518062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406852077553004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392169077695451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013557811868035,0.10223437311270607,0.0,0.0,0.14663421931825354,0.0,0.0,0.1322971201735061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342932017014044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558685500328856,0.0,0.1440525768162237,0.0,0.13033874467624965,0.3108721893765409,0.0,0.0,0.14865519779582795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960575380787517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876724752183235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793813919569674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733334837948916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650388847447162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944069248344564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002123084705692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AccioMotherfucker,2018/04/11,"People with bipolar, what do you do to control your moods? I was taking lamictal for several years and I hated it. Especially when I would run out, and I would have w/d symptoms. So I stopped taking it about a year ago. 

Things in my life have gradually improved since then,  and I am enjoying life more often than not. The problem is that now I am finding that my mood swings are coming back. I just realized that I was in a hypomanic phase for several months, and now I feel the depression coming back. 

I need a job but have no motivation. I have no money because of this. I'm sleeping more and more and eating less. It's like I can feel myself slipping but it almost feels good to not fight against it.

So for the people who don't take medication for their bipolar, what do you do when this happens? Does this happen to you too? Am I just weird or is it normal to be totally exhausted from fighting depression and feeling like you want to let it take over?

How do I win? I'm tired of losing.",2.8132426840082765,4.629650608040206,4.392379544782738,84.42086609518181,75.58291457286433,7.496423292935264,26.278746674549218,8.313332769828598,1.753781318356488,777,29,157,14,17,260,115,199,0.16,0.706,0.134,-0.8195,1,0,0,0,3,0,22.0,0,5,1,4,14,16,3,0,6,0,23,10,1,3,1,37,40,16,0,6,7,0,4,2,0,2,8,0,0,0,17,11,1,2,7,0,1,3,5,9,0,0,2,4,24,5,20,34,5,19,0,3,0,0,9,4,0,3,14,123,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500693437059516,0.0,0.12991615425504513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952454120148266,0.0,0.07908847339195182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235195346843877,0.0,0.0,0.14551476141347047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234902343296979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135365975093711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327567010205772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26240234496283016,0.09268648536530323,0.0,0.0,0.11858026983926105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881999538163516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22945781070212715,0.0,0.0,0.1280916709994073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874721338304027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266823135381695,0.18327880002272176,0.1267690994105296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514619238161128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069968753876868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035574575114447,0.0,0.0,0.09620077722614297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711793260699858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989115527282742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414393071975895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29313918537973005,0.0,0.1073225042634942,0.0,0.12983398165523674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846868745577906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484983254714852,0.3901941910871189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619368025558954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911737177988948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652418141409792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843275517445089,0.0,0.0,0.16709697938322224
mentalhealth,ea1818,2018/04/11,"Does anyone use mood tracking or other apps to help? I've seen apps for anxiety and depression and I'm wondering if anyone has used one and actually found it helpful or not. Personally, I'm not feeling extremely down right now, but feeling like it might be helpful in the long run? 

Thanks:) ",3.937636363636365,6.311723854545457,5.219999999999999,77.23000000000002,74.0909090909091,8.763636363636364,31.0,9.3871,3.2314727272727275,232,11,41,6,5,77,43,55,0.105,0.715,0.18,0.7663,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,16,13,7,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,2,4,9,0,6,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,5,3,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.21353435109898264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673948167152781,0.0,0.0,0.3060046189710087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884672238017224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914887010312765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212814426658592,0.15632329200539424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399221347601456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400063473061357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690319557543317,0.0,0.0,0.19364663427383288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23213082708678484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827642597203253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106303294016436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686898082091627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014577888140398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37797619077791655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23729828451879265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themusiclegend,2018/04/11,"I’m completely done with my life Seriously, I have nothing to do. I have no life, it’s like I’m a living dead? Idk. There’s no reason to be. I mean, my parents are fighting, and just for bullshits, i brother hates me, my sister, I’m not able to see her anymore, she is always out with friends. I have no friends, I’m never going outside, I’m all the f day in my f room. I have no one to talk to. I get mad with people but I’m never telling them and I’m always breaking out on myself, but this annoyed them too! 3 years ago we found out that i have depression, I were on a f therapy with some f pills that they made me fat and people started bullying me about it. I’m so ashamed of myself, I don’t want my siblings see me like this and growing up in a home with a crazy older sister. I’m trying to pretend at least that I’m fine but my mom comes to messed up everything! Many times I say “I’m a depression survivor!” And I’m happy and proud of myself, but then I’m thinking “are you sure that you’ve survived?” No I’m not. It’s not ok hitting myself every time I feel bad or cutting. I feel so numb and lonely. I have nothing to help me. They are afraid of me but the have no idea how after I am of them, how my heart beats of the fear and I find it hard to breathe. I’m trying to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter, but no one can see it. I don’t know what should I do anymore. I feel so used up, I’m always there for everyone when they need me, even for the dumbest thing, but no one wants to listen my own problems. Not even something really simple. I’m a fcking fool. Idiot, asshole, powerless sh*t.",0.18525396825396712,2.0714029000000025,2.6313809523809546,93.5132301587302,84.28571428571429,5.0317460317460325,20.865079365079364,6.139981653823899,0.10461269841269782,1245,39,283,10,36,428,166,350,0.266,0.613,0.121,-0.9952,2,2,1,0,2,0,48.0,1,1,6,6,13,30,6,3,13,1,22,7,3,5,4,55,61,23,1,5,13,7,4,2,2,1,5,2,2,1,13,18,1,0,10,1,0,3,16,18,0,3,4,9,48,12,37,53,4,28,0,3,3,0,26,12,0,2,14,183,61,0,0.10601015689105908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397160779706942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646268284899043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102671797140448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851405295682277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812721068383589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131836338085687,0.11114963257263773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836778119326778,0.0,0.1826127855841292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848519643988272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003741764188635,0.0,0.08931812936129284,0.1012972478748758,0.09527509343930747,0.0,0.0,0.1192908990804147,0.16080576171881042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689136286250556,0.0,0.0,0.11623466528571162,0.16380636848893618,0.0,0.055385931567708366,0.0,0.060248015166213115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284978326138985,0.09496427805751996,0.1046630825793506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256225463349098,0.07105637356587491,0.0,0.106336830901595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967256352936005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582604098222131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975621780990875,0.10358241575422618,0.0,0.0936089107309135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030937366868074,0.0,0.10747766013547326,0.0,0.11547613879678245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415781450781585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860518808489975,0.16352313662651158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034392092934265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21550567762141826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177117337712759,0.0,0.0,0.14698818972938402,0.0925639799949045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143740316033066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06791282104961932,0.10899609725070653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430353169590811,0.0,0.0,0.25342910958267856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161179796240582,0.0,0.0,0.07503453467877469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991331829114948,0.0,0.0,0.08520694851566046,0.09265754970959188,0.0,0.12123185328170978,0.0,0.07042843772762282,0.06792702803326603,0.0,0.0,0.12363074998855107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394787567914372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915587385569092,0.0,0.0,0.1250550743256054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826706535832122
mentalhealth,flintkebab,2018/04/11,"Is there a reason I feel unfulfilled if i don't see some people as an enemy who treats me badly? I have paranoia about other people manipulating me. It's not true, but I want it to be true for some reason. I have this exceptional anger when it happens. The level of anger is horrendous, and I sort of think they are manipulating me, and I know they aren't but I feel weird if I think they aren't doing anything.",2.7371428571428567,4.413014619047623,4.823333333333334,81.85500000000002,75.42857142857143,7.6571428571428575,21.523809523809533,8.418075326091056,1.140566666666667,324,8,67,6,7,112,52,84,0.366,0.614,0.019,-0.9837,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,0,3,7,2,0,3,0,10,0,0,4,2,23,18,8,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,15,3,7,17,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,5,1,52,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504931744932325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238489286339944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28884642284148604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25258184268031864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697488812482693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960400331692074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5873508347841718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276102888491737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660405980223115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684720924690376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lml40,2018/04/11,"Help with 17 year old Daughters mental health. Hello, this is a long one please bear with me. 

Me - I am 40, I have had 5 abusive (all the types of abuse) relationships, that stems from a difficult childhood. These relationships started at 15 .Thankfully I broke the cycle 5 years ago with therapy and self insight

My daughter 17 - I have put her through these relationships and understandably they have taken a terrible toll, she has been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and possibly a PD. She is going to Cahms (UK under 18 mental health services) for weekly therapy - this has been ongoing for 7 years. she is also on medication.

My Partner - I met him 3 years ago, he is a wonderful supportive man, to me and my daughter. 

I have terrible guilt, it is so difficult to see my daughter struggle in this way, she has had 4 suicide attempts, and regularly self harms. Despite all this, we are, and always have been very close, I have made some terrible choices in life, but the love I have for her....she says there is nothing to 'forgive' me for. I am not so sure. 

At the moment my daughter is struggling with going to college, it has been this way for around 6 months, we know a fair amount about what we can do to help her feel more able to cope, and try so hard to do this every day. Some days though, my daughter just can't get out of bed. she has been close to being sectioned. 

I also have MS, and IIH. I don't know really what I am asking for, it has helped to write it down. Do you think, if we carry on, and just keep trying, things will slowly get better for her? 

Thank you ",3.9852131287297534,5.3986434803921615,4.8692838874680335,83.84873401534527,71.7124183006536,8.06683716965047,27.356635407786303,8.587818076936951,1.9032451264563799,1219,43,243,21,23,396,167,306,0.104,0.805,0.091,0.2477,0,0,0,0,1,1,53.0,4,2,1,2,11,17,0,3,10,0,40,6,0,1,3,43,61,17,1,1,5,6,2,0,1,1,5,1,1,4,16,22,0,1,8,0,0,3,3,10,0,1,10,4,38,7,37,49,7,33,0,1,1,1,40,13,0,4,15,169,54,3,0.1004217173463334,0.2379666279493283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17803558665563507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606144221609913,0.08355891344819842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682233890361746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939661907867863,0.09388074978344073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881484830853234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952740001397647,0.0,0.0,0.1019259292459848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846096280174403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077623762530306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493240511985076,0.0,0.11414395237461135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995813390683881,0.0,0.0,0.21348717921588695,0.0,0.0,0.20193168101488548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925943647661884,0.0,0.0,0.11037829919750404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093082878472268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887005976435043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063452063067916,0.09502145704864604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116431532593882,0.2024029432902236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080155656706775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635734618250097,0.0,0.10537569960386124,0.0,0.06804835460834778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023288957052901,0.0,0.11321039766769668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738761365400698,0.10095156259751056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433272357709519,0.0,0.0,0.32344602795412336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985938026640316,0.0,0.0,0.08002310708145348,0.0,0.20952350470996892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710790084054774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996516572565604,0.0,0.1098450596726206,0.11395737479342832,0.09464628015671094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490965049855126,0.22968197124996065,0.0,0.06671572681375483,0.06434618162430454,0.09866382742386456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635950844701838,0.0,0.0,0.10454254931960967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285843382375868,0.0,0.15942016996666014,0.08055224431061582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108903068758436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586731740628222
mentalhealth,sativabrows,2018/04/11,"Anxiety - same shit different day So around 3 and a half years ago my mam commited suicide and I was the one who found her. Day after boxing day to be precise. Since then as you can imagine I've been pretty fucked up. I've had 2 lots of counseling, and recently started taking medication. But the anxiety is still there in some way or another,  whether it's the gut wrenching feeling in the stomach or the constant overthinking and negative thoughts. I've been listening to alan Watts recently which has helped me to clear my thoughts a little but its not long until the mind starts racing again. Anyone here got any advice or tips on what works for you?

Thanks ",3.711053333333332,6.242346552000004,4.237300000000001,83.23648333333334,75.48,8.006666666666666,28.816666666666666,8.841846274778883,2.5993866666666667,529,23,96,12,12,167,97,125,0.1,0.8290000000000001,0.07,-0.4215,1,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,2,0,1,6,3,2,0,8,0,8,5,3,0,3,24,19,14,1,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,8,2,7,1,13,10,3,23,0,0,0,1,7,6,2,5,16,64,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988870870574573,0.14504029038910504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126800297259956,0.17157105783882998,0.2503394866668528,0.0,0.0,0.11440772291233145,0.0,0.0,0.14565752650401773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768163518236508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165663460481813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709492923795892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273177726299315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794021620096809,0.0,0.15126513043692638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086279268577736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096718178776614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639913920989803,0.0,0.14479958212006744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391048632894812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483110986423385,0.0,0.0,0.16521073344519266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108739359169367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664615476214363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231123219609565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795477451849866,0.13534911845840042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23162380540562055,0.0,0.13066807368453434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789749976620328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302275313471778,0.0,0.0,0.1506403854861504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597938566124487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298748647963804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911815679988932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536666569507933
mentalhealth,KordlessHammer,2018/04/11,I need help I’m 16 I’ve got depression I’ve tried to kill myself a couple of times but stop my self before I can do any serious harm because I’m scared all I ever here people say about me that I could’ve done better in the past I didn’t put much effort into things but the past couple years I’ve tried my hardest at everything but all I here is you could’ve done better I’ve tried to tell people but I have social anxiety so  I can’t please help me,-0.022745454545450627,1.9944617800000053,2.351454545454548,94.3957272727273,86.2,5.236363636363637,15.090909090909092,6.574015621080383,-0.4842,358,6,82,4,11,122,62,100,0.19,0.654,0.156,-0.3884,0,0,0,0,0,1,0.0,0,1,0,3,5,7,1,1,3,0,8,0,0,0,3,10,12,5,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,1,14,2,7,8,3,10,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446023116138396,0.0,0.117511413647288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363937694133892,0.0,0.1307110008640565,0.0,0.0,0.2717115497016879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245290555559456,0.3399336191307996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230427518427965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31439321704208856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894925701988192,0.0,0.0,0.1380549794504379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285614201008785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592341268515274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994697202827974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292120149833415,0.1139000470534466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29327671212229484,0.21298799906687008,0.0,0.0,0.16861791594382566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154420719286087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215702882823155,0.15379064841347634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024898214628086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658629574859925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128425039394395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426212097324622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205181828981567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957136662366158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128738104803505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891995866882504
mentalhealth,joevapes,2018/04/11,"i think i have mental health issues, and i dont know what to do about. so i think im suffering from depression, as well as pi-polar disorder, due to the fact that i have been super stresses ever since meeting my partner and having kids at 28 with no career. i get frustrated and angry very easily, do go out with friends at all (dont really have any) and have turned to nights of drinking beer and liquor to see if it makes me feel better. me and my partner have fought about current living conditions, and how i need to leave the city and start my life over, but she wont and i feel trapped and like i have no control over the relationship at all. this has made me more stressed and depressed and at points, made me want to talk to other females because i do not feel like im really her partner when we have said arguments or discussions. i also just got demoted at work, so that makes things even worse, and just viewing this world every day has made me scared, depressed, and angry. i dont know what to do. i just want to be happy and not wake up living life on auto pilot anymore. i think this is an issue i have been having as well before my current partner, mabye all the way back to a child. i dont really know. i just want me and my kids and my partner if she wouldnt be a such a bitch and move out with me. but i guess thats what life is like, never getting what you want, and not being happy.


",6.004735632183911,4.8500504620689675,6.557586206896553,82.4827011494253,66.79310344827586,9.526436781609195,29.67816091954023,8.447377352677275,1.9168436781609195,1094,30,235,13,15,359,144,290,0.153,0.703,0.14300000000000002,-0.6362,2,1,2,0,0,0,29.0,1,1,0,4,17,20,3,3,8,0,29,8,1,7,6,66,58,32,0,8,12,0,3,3,6,2,4,1,0,8,13,25,3,1,9,3,0,2,12,10,2,0,8,6,36,10,31,45,4,26,0,4,2,0,20,13,1,4,13,166,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286523923027574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619618403380077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036234899287217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006239412045784,0.0,0.055543320734433015,0.0,0.07753279957276091,0.0,0.0,0.08058448403487899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219407099600636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876212647600116,0.0,0.2354336080973945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442655325052927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271479619205969,0.08925875529282966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060181099219696686,0.08241942012601472,0.07676895640786058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382125958055945,0.06509311614701427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039580906912013,0.0,0.09520844640467303,0.0,0.05178318537378053,0.0,0.07287359573244707,0.0,0.10037428057532276,0.0,0.0,0.19398883863289973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685179062294952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684130965344585,0.19020235871462124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022451412480511,0.0,0.0,0.09647843227657243,0.0,0.0,0.1930732647291173,0.13354367164629308,0.0,0.16091376831729906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25864780161219736,0.12164095277703475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918232540099751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684163164539808,0.0,0.06756118047560064,0.07027409013783889,0.0,0.0,0.08550596709190225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613384308942285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511326432746951,0.0,0.0,0.09782422561172154,0.0,0.0,0.08667195172388871,0.0,0.09122276962753996,0.0,0.07260746280424922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537189707516112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449220290472481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874558724818626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732353953561447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060533261326100624,0.17514989704636064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910778080408507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518004325617136,0.21496974059209525,0.07232344808431006,0.0,0.0,0.16384801908162688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633335744158247,0.0,0.09285474224670114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fraden123,2018/04/11,"My boyfriend tried to commit suicide Hey,

I'm putting this here as I need to express my thoughts about what has happened.

Bit of a back story, I've been with my boyfriend for just over 6 years. I live in the UK, he lives in the US. 

He's been diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 1, and he's had a lot of stuff happen over the past month or so and it has sent him to a very dark place. I'm trying my best to be there for him and show how much I love him, but sometimes it seems like it falls on deaf ears.

Anyway, last night, it came to a head, and he ended up trying to overdose. I knew from his facebook posts, and when I asked him if he had done anything, he just replied that he's sorry. I knew then he had done something.

I kept trying to message him, but I ended up phoning his sister, who went and got him and took him to hospital. He's been admitted, treated, and is being assessed today. I just feel useless that I couldn't be there for him when he needed me. 

I'm going over to see him next Thursday and I don't know what to say to him. ",2.4356109865470863,3.1699777040358725,3.550557735426008,94.431038396861,74.65022421524664,6.113116591928251,24.25140134529148,5.602791699666715,0.2672782511210765,800,23,190,3,16,259,127,223,0.038,0.906,0.056,0.4118,0,0,1,0,0,2,26.0,1,0,0,1,13,5,0,0,7,0,16,6,2,1,1,34,40,20,1,4,7,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,11,13,0,1,7,1,0,7,2,1,0,0,17,5,29,4,29,19,4,31,0,1,1,1,34,9,0,4,15,122,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877444511677224,0.0,0.12357223784989894,0.0,0.0,0.10163972577751523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871675423274002,0.0,0.14430840535387127,0.0,0.16647848199340218,0.0,0.0,0.1511808855614098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416185108140696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705359626102532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234147868173315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683514274684328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512202269634484,0.0,0.1057179444072789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337760439576433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565676892320214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264371808578766,0.10774589458949954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457740197551724,0.0,0.23343808744927336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237632868901624,0.1192993299118428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550633541415916,0.0,0.09716890915737694,0.1960224152471595,0.0,0.0,0.14057695544803706,0.12404376351484855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261825849355927,0.0,0.0,0.13810195715174622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659372645516762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287932332661154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511635618153263,0.0,0.0,0.10533186456827297,0.12033344182938713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017600882270976,0.13073128384341576,0.14796682066030895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513166568839084,0.1445855499856228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049376676403927,0.0,0.0,0.12529299023488166,0.0,0.1468589599635059,0.3589713471564628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589985564839657,0.0,0.0,0.10906391476376597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122533950129971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512081301122483
mentalhealth,musiclover127,2018/04/11,"Does anyone else hate noise?! 6 months ago my parents and i temporarily moved into another house that is right next to a very busy road. I hear traffic all the time. I literally just cried because it’s so upsetting never being able to have silence. even with earplugs in, i can hear the cars. and lots of jerks rev their engines or whatever as they pass by. we move back into our old house in just over a month from now, but i’ve had to deal with this for so long and there’s still a month to go.

i NEED SILENCE

i hate my parents. we MOVED OUT OF OUR HOUSE FOR SEVEN MONTHS JUST SO MY PARENTS CAN RENOVATE THEIR HOUSE AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT WOULD BE WORTH MOVING OUT FOR SEVEN MONTHS AND LIVING NEXT TO BASICALLY A HIGHWAY. i could go on and on. i hate my life so much it’s 6am i can’t sleep

freaking 7 months. there was nothing freaking wrong with the house. they replaced every single piece of hardwood floor in the house and the house is only 15 years old. they basically are trying to rebuild their whole house. JUST BECAUSE THEYRE BORED AND HAVE NO FREAKING LIVES

you don’t need to respond to my rant but i just want to know if anyone else needs silence like i do",1.6504945054945068,4.066386777310928,2.6060504201680668,92.68250161603106,82.48739495798318,5.1741435035552685,21.75888817065288,6.490185161304077,0.34291803490626993,935,30,195,9,26,295,132,238,0.165,0.789,0.046,-0.9849,3,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,4,1,6,0,16,11,4,1,9,0,17,2,1,0,2,36,29,17,0,7,9,3,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,17,0,0,1,0,1,8,4,10,0,2,2,2,27,1,31,23,6,39,0,0,0,0,18,13,0,3,19,127,32,0,0.07006764482338862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211073949616206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347203490781895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798585282880386,0.14358516466548685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05387769385158515,0.0,0.08542517187994225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055943312935325895,0.0,0.07696601771536181,0.0,0.07223666515295402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613166681624735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706505273226656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627901858215147,0.0,0.05903501275644631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964211452528072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20753187934134945,0.0,0.0,0.1579426561545457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6467892373129503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038507345167717436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04949084968519513,0.034231512007260406,0.0,0.12374202815562713,0.06200766076850193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956900598615464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355639536822267,0.2978832708975456,0.05150778103173301,0.15586281243791658,0.054040487221084434,0.0,0.14903547033954664,0.0,0.0,0.13446358988574486,0.0,0.1470484131912533,0.0,0.0,0.05328960125718645,0.0,0.0,0.2334054828889701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059837385836066875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011824683851159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055956111666024766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040857007165591486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757133147407977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578131450566888,0.04132771230691388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782280231854605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977404454359459,0.0766079702112172,0.0,0.04512126600828883
mentalhealth,enea92,2018/04/11,"I woke up have nonsense thoughts This happened to me recently when i wake up i think nonsense things,like my brain is having a malfunction and sometimes i'm like half awake and thinking the same.I am diagnosed with anxiety and depression.",3.8438636363636363,6.8954356590909125,3.9329090909090887,82.53936363636366,78.77272727272728,8.065454545454546,33.8,8.841846274778883,3.5852236363636365,195,11,33,5,5,60,35,44,0.238,0.706,0.055,-0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,0,7,10,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,5,1,4,8,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571548879046826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752561153599141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895266936064887,0.34118657780930434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29725755782583885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422658606933915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331908937102943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324623131510543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307844660510123,0.0,0.26686664962449697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,its_average,2018/04/11,"I’m worried I might have some form of antisocial personality disorder As a kid I was always rather anxious and emotional. Over the last several years I’ve noticed myself become colder and more manipulative.  Last week, during a fight with my girlfriend, I went to the washroom and thought about my dead dog for ten minutes or so to make myself cry so I looked remorseful.  I know that was a pretty despicable thing to do, but I really don’t think I feel too bad about it.  Overall my motivation to help others is plummeting and my motivation to help myself is higher than it has ever been. I really loathe that I’ve become like this but Im worried that what really upsets me is that I must look like an asshole in the eyes of other people now.
I was diagnosed with MDD last year (this diagnosis has been a long, long time coming IMO) but never did anything for it and I’m almost wondering if my suppressed depressive thoughts have manifested in an antisocial way. 

Frankly I’m not sure what I’m looking for here but any thoughts on this are greatly appreciated ",5.603592644978787,6.89053971287129,6.860905233380482,71.5721782178218,67.7128712871287,9.929844413012725,31.75530410183876,10.125756701596842,3.368150212164073,850,35,150,21,14,288,124,202,0.158,0.715,0.127,-0.5820000000000001,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,1,9,0,18,2,1,4,4,35,35,14,1,3,8,0,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,15,8,0,1,9,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,10,5,19,4,20,23,3,19,0,1,4,0,6,4,0,6,14,105,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371718869018596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280325678208646,0.0,0.0,0.0840180400731312,0.0,0.0,0.13957600622519625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167088490591618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315884787876606,0.0,0.2729018976358756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642713605193206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571355591320206,0.0,0.0,0.10641318490963328,0.1254003558043354,0.0,0.0,0.14159867247067706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897679536156088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117577868116368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247044605550476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621399237284684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562553372343006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345488894691698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789968997505931,0.3021285128910723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207202959615654,0.0,0.0,0.21867521242620627,0.3112519209541341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247039136671468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106671880517395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952891535999466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140662164676358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565381313894481,0.10787884197332376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569447284982152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374473253109192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957600622519625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644414031845493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208093801135757,0.07916566598931493,0.0,0.29425400931739304,0.0720428299528207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806800970124263,0.09910412563432087,0.0,0.0,0.11453181974274765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398439113107086,0.0,0.2509414572128406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591239260925969
mentalhealth,ohmygoditsjen,2018/04/11,"Citalopram Hi, my doctor put me on meds for the first time. 
I just want to know more information about Citalopram and your experiences when taking them? 
Like what side effects did you have, how long did it take for you to notice a difference, your feelings when taking them, etc. ",7.57235294117647,8.05341329411765,6.541960784313726,78.43882352941178,63.11764705882353,9.15294117647059,30.72549019607843,8.841846274778883,2.3211254901960783,222,7,40,3,3,67,42,51,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,2,2,5,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,9,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,9,1,6,7,2,8,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,6,30,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26152951589356593,0.0,0.2562115534171222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791712545448416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448594888124884,0.0,0.0,0.1265685359408267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129207564493493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756848067554342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222929567736954,0.0,0.0,0.22152396237688884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780473817390147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28498922881926986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25163919338006224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5646249941726795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596270857520094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764431479489368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DudeWheresMyJarODirt,2018/04/11,"Can effective antidepressants and having the fog lift from decade long depression open your eyes? I’ve been on medication for about five months, and for the first time in almost ten years I have felt okay. It’s like the sun finally came out, and I feel myself being what I always imagined happiness felt like. I’m finally okay. 

But I think being okay has made me see how much I don’t like my husband. I’ve found myself noticing things about him that I didn’t before, and I don’t like them. It’s as though I’m seeing him as a person, not as my spouse. It’s effecting the way I treat him now, simply because I see him doing these things I don’t like. 

But it’s not even just him, I’m beginning to see the bad in a lot of people in my life. The other people, I have cut contact with now and got them completely out of my life, this made me happier. But now I wonder, do I do the same with him? 

Is this normal? Have other people began to feel this way? I need answers. ",2.496175373134328,3.8714911393034823,4.04469838308458,88.43928638059704,75.4179104477612,7.21405472636816,21.02021144278607,7.8658589789855275,0.7133106965174134,753,17,164,11,16,251,107,201,0.047,0.792,0.161,0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,2,3,9,13,1,0,9,3,17,4,1,5,0,36,38,13,0,2,6,2,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,14,11,0,0,11,0,0,1,6,3,0,3,10,9,31,10,20,26,3,22,0,1,5,0,13,7,0,3,17,114,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803114935271856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638795839415388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067559487865115,0.07794094742863951,0.0,0.10879759754352557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623529767062424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340565038678352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012376303168027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444889193620518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929752274103756,0.0,0.2455271383021305,0.2801240098201801,0.0,0.10875580626894328,0.0,0.14018951296368418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225958799034282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361070392776905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061953537225245,0.31232439093133124,0.0,0.0,0.11315015754192445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087001562131672,0.0,0.2419643435241724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880331404190956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020549013728268,0.0,0.09399021775928773,0.09480496207352608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252735282100873,0.0,0.14556698874765234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659215649512737,0.11164052687353528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075445520018856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698861240673664,0.08192613583604197,0.12561967040757868,0.0,0.07455492982935667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029751909126537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865636435364598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233625158655229
mentalhealth,gguppy,2018/04/11,"False Memories Not me, but someone I know has a lot of vivid memories of things that simply did not happen, and no matter how many people tell them it didn’t happen and tell them why it is impossible, they still strongly believe in themselves. Good examples would be that they recall going to a certain highschool for a long period of time when they did not, or telling me I was attacked a few months back (which I’m fairly certain I would remember)... Is there anything we can help them, or atleast convince them these memories are not true? This heavily disrupts our lives and would be best if there was something we could do.",10.32762711864407,7.860120576271187,9.114,71.75388135593221,59.33898305084746,12.15186440677966,41.396610169491524,10.355215969177356,4.1969369491525415,500,21,90,8,5,155,82,118,0.053,0.742,0.205,0.9592,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,7,2,6,8,1,0,4,0,17,0,0,1,3,25,22,9,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,5,1,15,7,6,11,3,9,0,0,1,0,14,1,0,4,7,71,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474381946005137,0.0,0.0,0.20382697255229607,0.0,0.13776744760445092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018585126223887,0.18802346252341195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304931935037074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182405793196808,0.15027577982917933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168714657653593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009106488315845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846484284189412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820669150538716,0.15855610263370284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232036348202627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816460087827766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300843912079214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421101263692184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029599349103919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180660825187262,0.13793059274617114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430820462236816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697964414313859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902980211798116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044730238355348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166927484538024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38182274983469017,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwmeaway111111223,2018/04/11,"I think I’m finally ready to get help. (!) Should I make an appointment with a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist? Hi Reddit! I think I’m finally ready to get help. I’ve seen a decline in my mental health and capabilities over the past few years, and just had my worst episode yet. After being relatively bedridden for the past 8 months, I’m tired of living in my own filth, feeling paranoid and sick all the time. I want to be better.

I may not have schizophrenia, but I have many of the symptoms (cognitive, depressive, social, weird thoughts) and it or BPD runs in my family. So with that in mind, I was wondering where I should make my first appointment with for a diagnosis and to start my treatment on the right track? I went once two years ago for mental health but the appointment felt like a dead end, so I further receded into myself and got worse. I want to do it right this time. Just feeling a little lost

Note: I am a university student so will be going to university services. They have available psychologist/therapist/counselor services or psychiatric services for appointments.

Thanks in advance for your time and help.",5.677071428571428,7.592277123809524,5.936369047619048,75.87883928571429,68.23809523809524,9.44047619047619,32.17261904761905,9.827888789773867,3.3412619047619057,916,40,159,22,16,292,121,210,0.125,0.758,0.117,-0.7753,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,1,4,7,7,0,0,13,0,14,5,0,2,1,35,37,15,1,4,8,0,3,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,7,0,0,4,1,4,0,2,8,4,21,3,25,22,4,33,0,2,1,0,7,13,0,5,17,103,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937224182898246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091228922226009,0.0,0.0,0.15539750251048354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627023530927801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928137227287167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631521012329565,0.0,0.1247730534112237,0.0,0.11846774049427855,0.2703217145858444,0.0,0.10495014704615573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892582437087527,0.0,0.07012182337781349,0.0,0.0986812489801797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26230229395374943,0.0,0.0,0.2481045622818348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027906348886974,0.12366292253278928,0.10895010377941397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346879284146952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471921038791548,0.12509174750883384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24868358148256184,0.0,0.12458240563801636,0.0,0.09848372489991528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313996573329875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23556748385157894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107380812775812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577418584723898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733164691759215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824294966787222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359517156510048,0.0,0.2865160661553346,0.0,0.15811863840452733,0.0,0.0979529082397477,0.21583815477191348,0.1418114597738752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052798657775475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554985438386886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437796401637228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380440389375345,0.0,0.0,0.12573857302552832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589101677912998
mentalhealth,RogRost,2018/04/11,"Desire to hurt cute things. Any ideas why? If there's a more appropriate board for this, point me to it.

Alright, so to give some context to this;

I've noticed a recent urge to hurt or even grievously injure cute animals. It's always been there to some extent but has recently gotten very strong. Strong to the point where I've actually acted on those urges, or attempted to more than once. When I owned the cute animals in the past, I had no problem. I loved them and never wanted to hurt them and, on the one occasion where one did hurt itself, I cried for a good thirty minutes or so, despite there being no actual harm done.

The first of these incidents involved a friend's dog. I've always found the little thing to be adorable, however it never much took to me. That's fine, given that there had been an urge to crush it, so I was happy not inviting any opportunity; I know doing such would be wrong. That changed though, when it began barking at me and biting me without provocation.

Anyways, this continued and circumstances conspired that I was left alone with it. I cornered it and punched it a few times. Didn't leave any injuries though, and I felt three things; primarily, satisfaction at having indulged my urges. Then disappointment at myself for having actually done so, swiftly followed by disappointment at myself for having stopped short of causing more serious harm.

Now, I guess you could dismiss that as some kind of anger response or primal instinct given the fact that it had attacked me on numerous occasions. It's the more recent thing that has me concerned.

I tried to poison another person's pet. It wasn't spur of the moment either, I sat there for near enough an hour deciding on what might be a good way to do it. Eventually I settled on feeding the carnivorous rodent meat, laced with a number of highly toxic and corrosive cleaning products. I tried giving it some clean meat first to see if it would accept it, which it didn't - and that was the only reason I stopped. I'd have carried on with my plan if it accepted the food.

This, in my opinion, goes beyond typical primal instinct, as our desire to squish cute things has been pegged with. There would be none of that primal indulgence and the only satisfaction I'd have received was knowing that this thing had died. I'd have been physically removed from the actual killing, meaning it simply can't have been that urge we get to crush.

Has anyone else felt, experienced, done or heard of similar things? Does anyone know why this might be?",6.805261542957336,7.470358699152541,6.7575862068965495,75.60313559322033,64.76271186440678,9.561192285213323,31.95382817066043,9.494082108488547,2.9031037989479835,2014,74,354,36,29,640,234,472,0.174,0.682,0.14400000000000002,-0.9569,2,1,0,0,0,0,57.0,2,1,2,7,21,33,4,0,23,1,46,5,0,3,3,61,68,29,2,11,12,0,2,0,1,5,2,1,3,1,47,14,2,2,12,0,0,5,11,15,0,5,30,5,31,18,53,26,15,48,0,6,1,1,13,23,0,16,19,263,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.29847311059053705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919411458628868,0.0,0.0,0.12724910348432786,0.0,0.0,0.15599535380204846,0.08017964780150644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693144921330663,0.07834686998151222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698935597741919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855005807047379,0.08088925423757125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105064510097755,0.0,0.08399261298322201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793580317881345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691455958443537,0.23474905511972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638762401893065,0.0,0.0,0.07900822193233194,0.0,0.05050405116956121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468357354610892,0.0,0.0,0.13008125219553746,0.0924611221287862,0.08383932783277116,0.05907624801552142,0.0,0.039949521621751034,0.14670334491127493,0.0,0.1282695135256523,0.0,0.0,0.08423421752032173,0.0,0.0,0.08139783386868732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078889457028579,0.0,0.0,0.07530208527858559,0.0,0.3274271208861608,0.08631906206004716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459658996344342,0.07962596289274254,0.12606859373878793,0.0,0.0,0.08096481692146164,0.08307885375309355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663747153279574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690121557297153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832922074808619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223340569787334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621017231036241,0.0,0.11794820268268473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705528846801272,0.0,0.08143214871543929,0.1036285868277118,0.11630932682468048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299397413537942,0.0,0.06676581246414827,0.0,0.0,0.14456725035675053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316615638853967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861819455867541,0.22649827279866394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060932270501926136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785541594561442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555971022429009,0.0,0.15025187700415096,0.0,0.04458703844082759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495482265319404,0.10382869095230456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309118312509679,0.04510071650210544,0.060693925005836875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799455414594566,0.0,0.0,0.07370900568111595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629544642190329,0.083601877612757,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bbqtriangle0,2018/04/11,Seeing my face on other people's body's This had started last week and is freaking me out ,6.166315789473683,5.232977210526316,6.725263157894743,80.68684210526318,66.3684210526316,7.6,29.52631578947368,3.1291,1.2575894736842097,73,2,14,0,1,24,18,19,0.149,0.851,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5447126603011081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997332433706932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33997463071724643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39077728218390695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34710051556417315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3933612209467936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sailtothethief,2018/04/11,"I'm turning 18 next week. How can I visit a doctor for a potential mental health issue without my parents knowing? For a long time, I've suspected that I have bipolar disorder. I want to go to a doctor to figure out if it's true, and then figure out what to do from there.

My question is, how can I use my family's health insurance for a diagnosis (and possibly medication) without my parents knowing? My parents are not very understanding about this kind of stuff in general, and I'd rather not have them find out and blow up at me for it.",6.1483333333333325,5.748203833333335,7.6003703703703716,72.63166666666667,66.22222222222223,10.903703703703703,35.592592592592595,10.504223727775694,3.7555259259259266,426,19,81,10,6,148,70,108,0.05,0.909,0.041,-0.2168,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,7,6,0,3,1,27,15,8,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,11,2,19,15,0,13,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,5,60,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17463067343550878,0.31191689771398073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364207034703738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926457809898676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659610274375545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32392706439987473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903601602013126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867122762700944,0.16747852758100334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348437769342413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349802178245278,0.15355439958199005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620485716497469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5075707820588624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177570995471944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069069145452712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442864683405404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884891144347583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657361845793608,0.0,0.15862386317698007,0.0,0.13159985286302187,0.0,0.12572225333568926,0.08987252140217497,0.0,0.12222303993240237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937609290663877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,geekyghettokid,2018/04/11,I called my mom Sometimes I feel alone and isolated. Even now with my girlfriend asleep next to me. I may be having a mental breakdown or it could just be stress. I feel myself slowly coming apart. While on the verge of tears I called my mom but she was too busy to talk. I don't want to wake my gf up cause she has serve anxiety and mental issues of her own. I tried to speak with a friend but she hasn't responded to my text. I laid outside on the grass in the cold stared up at the stars in hopes it would calm me but now I just keep asking myself what if I do it? Idk how to fully put into words how I am feeling or why I am even feeling like this. Just want to speak with someone,0.4836734693877531,2.419547571428573,1.9585306122448998,98.47575510204085,83.48979591836735,4.736326530612245,16.602721088435377,5.6839178017228535,-0.7620862585034008,531,10,126,3,15,171,89,147,0.087,0.7929999999999999,0.12,0.8715,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,1,6,0,13,2,2,3,0,31,23,11,0,6,9,2,4,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,8,25,4,20,17,1,16,0,0,1,0,16,10,0,5,5,89,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686769573701547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458975386374158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522549257806002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33260267673523675,0.0,0.0,0.1673051699080484,0.0,0.14029205884853266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300328580591386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513895901610616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293937174081781,0.11634936407409248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582755448632862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175971284302965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998666519404035,0.0,0.14476012289329754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795666382349521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282552086504926,0.0,0.0,0.3814863686680377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320665459018492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372230415900135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799329652807502,0.0,0.16107567739413664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655902319029996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090311513367334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057329050934964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212164122373285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695853125314928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569320674034506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stoopiddogface,2018/04/11,"Help me understand or give me insight, please My SO and I have been together for a few years now. I noticed this pattern but idk where to look for info.

There is this pattern where things will be fine then anything will set her off. I mean anything. I go to bed things are fine, wake up and she is mad. Once she is upset there is no apology that makes it right. I will have to sit there and listen to her break down my every action, intentional or percieved. And its not over then either. 

Any little percieved action is broken down to how im abusive, or negligent or disrespectful etc. I mean anything. If i dont do exactly what she says and how then i will suffer endless hours of guilt, shaming, buzzword diagnoses. 

She sees everything as a combined series of events that sets her up as the constant victim. And me (or her other family members) as being abusive. 

Beyond this. Over 10 years she has never apologized for anything. She rationalizes her behavior even if she is in the wrong. I have never been right. She hits me and its my fault for being abusive. 

What is this? What am i dealing with?

What is it called where someone will distort the truth and spin events to them being the victim? And furthermore never (and i mean almost 10 years) ever admitting fault.

I can't just break ties bc we have a child, im stuck with her and its torturing me. Its effecting my work. I cant leave, i dont want to stay and i never know peace or rest. Im terrified to go home because i just know im in for it again even if i apologize.
",1.3540759075907582,3.873386973597359,2.9195627062706286,89.12178630363039,85.20462046204621,5.874917491749175,21.948019801980198,7.279313950308263,0.9429267326732668,1195,41,237,19,36,391,151,303,0.236,0.716,0.047,-0.9973,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,1,2,17,14,4,3,7,0,31,2,1,5,7,52,48,31,0,4,14,0,0,0,0,5,1,2,2,1,20,15,0,0,10,0,0,4,10,11,0,0,3,4,42,3,30,35,4,43,0,1,2,0,27,16,0,10,17,181,62,1,0.0,0.34261536738339554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651959177173693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554777889132025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172795117666209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875779813074807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842387622137592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041621924009964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937275618621988,0.0,0.097832736731312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259342202322781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749913813844343,0.12732796067935906,0.08718930711709315,0.08121183220010289,0.0,0.08662815664157082,0.0,0.09086690643649124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246504636667327,0.10956010236793276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646074691447852,0.0,0.0966859575947802,0.0,0.0949236816788691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164663467533422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594567217708042,0.0,0.0,0.1020619612353064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096607031870886,0.0,0.0,0.08094242647746451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434036039975193,0.0,0.0,0.314987412101272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973643453464851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973943763214444,0.0,0.10265106649428868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058061019827316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463124206849075,0.0,0.07665234727733942,0.0,0.0,0.0768094990689509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167002905794707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027377762649825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280730464856729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034427726552687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685268928339016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017229028351946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538616545491472,0.0,0.18621393538978584
mentalhealth,purpleplatypus8,2018/04/11,"Spiraling down Does anyone else spiral down the drain at the slightest sound of criticism?  I don't mean to take things so personally and I'm sure most of the time it's not meant to be harsh criticism but I can't help to beat myself up and just go down that rabbit hole.

How do you stop the thoughts of self hate? Feeling stupid for being so emotional.. I hate myself for having depression and anxiety when I have no reason to be sad or anxious. I've been through a lot in the past 2 years and that's sky rocketed my anxiety, but how do I control it? It's effecting my relationships. ",2.9507627118644066,4.7627401779661085,4.412000000000003,84.44783050847458,75.18644067796609,8.448813559322032,26.206779661016952,9.120678840339163,2.1377057627118643,463,17,95,11,10,154,80,118,0.332,0.643,0.025,-0.9918,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,6,6,3,0,6,0,10,0,0,5,1,22,19,12,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,6,4,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,2,10,1,16,13,2,13,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,3,5,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30196957592451623,0.2229679014066349,0.0,0.13800320528859145,0.2022252435802908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213632471825256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699914273447235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727167034780518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487433683469202,0.22201068252368972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979440330495604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216789733567496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897170012724181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229056580858306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779389115094942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498991536141904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884086014272658,0.0,0.172332764430595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292557377496345,0.0,0.21189769644633205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058962430929984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500718304868145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601553590819628,0.0,0.14839500187437293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112149422267047,0.0,0.0,0.15668690895227272,0.11508595954564403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709751777539416
mentalhealth,Axeltrainwagon,2018/04/11,"Not sure what to do So i've felt very lonely for most of high school and college [21M]. I made some friends freshman year of college despite my massive social anxiety but i never felt like it was enough. I realized that I didnt really connect with anyone and pushed them all away. I was thinking getting a girlfriend would help but a longtime friend said that it wouldn't help me and would take to long for me to learn to talk to girls and by the time i do i would be too busy with work (I get bad anxiety talking to guys and its just verbal diarrhea most of the time, talking to girls   is a fear. Im bad at learning from social situations and applying fixes). I have 2 more years in college for my mechanical engineering degree but i will have little to no free time to do anything, even less after i graduate. I dont know what to do. I feel lonely but i like what im doing school wise.  ",4.216959706959706,4.798584120879127,5.3667582417582445,83.5990750915751,70.42857142857143,8.264468864468865,28.902930402930398,8.344100000000001,1.9004271062271063,698,25,145,10,12,232,108,182,0.16399999999999998,0.7240000000000001,0.111,-0.8087,0,4,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,5,12,0,1,5,0,18,0,0,1,3,33,28,11,0,4,6,0,3,2,3,5,0,1,0,3,8,8,0,0,8,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,7,4,19,8,24,15,7,14,0,2,0,0,15,5,0,3,10,98,27,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618158938393912,0.0,0.0,0.08965700624211742,0.0,0.10551719603580438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047040562956145,0.0,0.214122900268336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027724465853107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248937892603047,0.0,0.08469055762872976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428733310390626,0.064833765428349,0.0,0.2462297583667749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813065570720306,0.0,0.13398320272517994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696164191780154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189131309914427,0.13547539995147692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770072413942161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046840306837708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528726533918064,0.128513852830883,0.0,0.11347395706794182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132838400539304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889403746014178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214339826717934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197012047702965,0.0,0.0,0.25953849997366085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412883343127866,0.0,0.2614158695078613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084933845685605,0.0,0.0964082796593534,0.3091841068686768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821605822082648,0.0,0.0,0.22430484650960955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057979975186845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334839515983476,0.0,0.0,0.27325935490732417,0.0,0.0,0.16514374315751013
mentalhealth,storybookstory_,2018/04/11,"Stay with my psychotherapist or go to a psychologist with a PhD? I am pursuing therapy to treat my depression/stress from family/low self-esteem and I was interested in trying CBT.


There is a psychotherapist I saw for a few sessions and she has a masters in counselling psychology, is a registered psychotherapist and has 4 years of experience in practice. She is very understanding and warm, but she's more laid-back and doesn't have a set plan for our CBT sessions.


There is another therapist I am considering: She is a psychologist (PhD and CPsych) and she has 9 years of experience in practice and she has more structure in her sessions (on the first day she will give me a weekly treatment plan).


**Would a psychologist with a PhD be more skilled at treating clients than psychotherapists with less education?** I am wondering if I should switch to the psychologist before I continue more sessions with my current psychotherapist.",6.014675324675328,8.593532878787883,6.670670995670999,68.22886363636366,68.69696969696969,10.774891774891778,34.81601731601732,10.7630783206399,4.556965367965368,755,38,124,25,14,247,92,165,0.0,0.96,0.04,0.5635,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,5,2,4,0,0,13,0,19,0,0,0,0,20,24,11,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,13,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,20,4,21,18,6,17,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,3,7,93,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22868007814622499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769312644977105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557341247011885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064613162741166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42665597765124974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550213011084973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092060348136915,0.12394215701403966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275091634611296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23244851587204654,0.0,0.0,0.24981447321124645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493980482691665,0.25321232070032884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806471350169212,0.0,0.0,0.2270331242761676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994213098942868,0.0,0.0,0.17493382180097514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650278383686102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492060904755992,0.0,0.0,0.28087787822340576
mentalhealth,ConfidentlyWorried,2018/04/11,"Deciding between side effects of medication I'll make this quick, my dosage of 200mg Sertraline lessens my anxiety and cures my premature ejaculation (which massively affects my confidence) but it inhibits my cognition and worsens the symptoms of my ADHD. Part of me wants to stop the meds other part needs it.",7.474444444444442,9.664622555555557,7.593518518518517,64.66583333333335,64.18518518518519,12.066666666666668,43.12962962962963,11.698219412168324,6.2096074074074075,254,16,37,9,4,82,42,54,0.182,0.818,0.0,-0.8641,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,10,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,6,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,26,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456164515805048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199986619671712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919625367389051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194376374334858,0.2897075815207121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132376521736652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.622844351888425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404305756600878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298906750210242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962271251608374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hopeless-And-Sad,2018/04/11,"The standard depression anxiety combo I have depression and the main outcome i want is some sort of coping mechanisms 

Some background info-
I'm an 18yr old boy who is pretty ignorant to mental health, I have sort of self diagnosed myself with depressionand and anxiety as I have looked up all of my symptoms and they fit the description perfectly.

I procrastinate because I lack motivation, just the thought of getting up makes me feel ill.

I have resorted in getting pretty fucking drunk every saturday (at home)  just so my mind can relax.
 I'm shit scared of the future because I have no interests in anything. 
I have social anxiety so unless there is a need to talk to someone I will avoid it, I only really feel comfortable talking to people if they're customers at work (retail) when they ask for help or if I'm drunk at a party. 

I have seeked therapy but my college is crap for it, long waiting lists and shit. And my anxiety overcomes me when i try booking it any other way.
I want to die but im scared of the outcome, not just for me, but my family and friends. I did write a suicide note but my dad found it and it was the only time I saw him cry, they think i'm over deppression now. (My family are great, allways supportive, just not all that helpful it these situations)

One of my biggest fears is, if I tell anyone, that they think im being attention seeking.

So yeah, any replies would help immensely.",4.457624299719889,6.1476522169117676,5.686428571428567,77.36333333333334,70.94852941176471,9.151540616246498,31.334733893557424,9.606745405546679,3.167145448179272,1121,50,202,27,21,374,154,272,0.2,0.665,0.135,-0.9636,0,1,0,0,0,2,30.0,0,0,4,3,11,18,4,4,11,1,19,10,3,2,3,51,41,22,2,8,15,1,2,0,1,2,4,0,1,2,11,8,2,3,9,4,1,0,3,11,0,1,5,4,34,7,26,33,6,19,0,2,2,1,19,10,4,8,8,137,45,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488487470004738,0.0,0.3348915943452228,0.0,0.0,0.07652445333665035,0.0,0.09006151423850398,0.0,0.1023135796891916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342976339091128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202169958444379,0.0,0.0,0.18852462190669533,0.11108141667338277,0.11358360978247745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922096802443962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063445229670784,0.12315277692143956,0.11067441720645732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999760178536223,0.08455468653660746,0.10117744782363146,0.11435794897221915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066028956984882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633182294405855,0.0,0.0,0.22007017610050134,0.0,0.10977933870486714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364324731158378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968528048897933,0.09190379112864164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305344428940022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029188473366842,0.0,0.11050531153328053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114992231353549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484106234338635,0.0,0.07416079194083736,0.16647128078209736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587336452056745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226838994613045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011140468638287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191412469820259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417196733809708,0.0,0.2246814634210879,0.0,0.12301749356422916,0.0,0.11156242744483233,0.09272992692035707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119711882278352,0.12419358573502848,0.0,0.11375223517654234,0.0,0.17593081121187634,0.09565720970700638,0.0,0.12515656683005352,0.0,0.0,0.1402521432029448,0.0,0.08688479392567706,0.06381656224967637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430399451461267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291035593665322,0.08687003619790734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967514429568652,0.0,0.0,0.07774452003203852,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dimeowgio,2018/04/11,"is it normal to feel suddenly sad? since around the start of february i’ve been feeling really sad out of nowhere

nothing prompts it and i could just be feeding my fish and break out into tears but it’s really scary when it happens cause i’m not used to it and not sure how to explain when someone asks if i’m okay. usually resulting in me just saying “im fine” and then they prod until they start asking questions like “is it cause you’re lonely” and i just say yes because i don’t know why i’m sad and i don’t want them to feel like i’m mad at them by not telling them

if it helps i just had my birthday at the end of january, am female and 14 years old (also if this isn’t the right subreddit for this please let me know!! thanks for any help) ",0.2942569444444416,2.4423303562500003,2.1104166666666693,95.76402777777781,86.0625,5.555555555555557,20.13888888888889,6.937597516519254,0.27878472222222195,587,18,135,8,18,193,98,160,0.136,0.7040000000000001,0.16,0.4835,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,5,0,9,11,1,0,3,2,11,1,0,5,1,38,29,17,0,6,11,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,11,1,0,7,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,5,14,6,18,24,0,20,0,4,0,0,14,8,0,4,13,78,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496124721681084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062623128707052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910473127799822,0.2921644376575129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525478413106192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32104459433921184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476107638905727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840018078465585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237029597862952,0.1116323375162938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818040283378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20947587290274136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687878597389186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175306859511086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978666924102758,0.0,0.15268170797778902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310184544412658,0.14993590233631873,0.0,0.1639688226209689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152680537292128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504721626930286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002086056005652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344538021631813,0.0,0.2485288089521268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926007466802894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239878340201613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22120358612328533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727341484887854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657832599950895,0.1438634229593828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495866534267795,0.17209856395496606,0.0,0.09216633055086744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100055030213396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062646310809342
mentalhealth,Onlinnee,2018/04/11,I need to be in a hospital I feel like I’m going insane. My depression just decided to come back this week. My anxiety is overwhelming. I feel like I’m going to explode with anxiety. I want to self harm again. There’s no psych hospitals near where I live and I have no clue what to do. ,0.3612142857142828,2.6007928833333342,3.092857142857145,88.15500000000004,86.83333333333334,8.095238095238095,21.904761904761905,8.841846274778883,1.8744761904761904,223,8,49,7,7,78,42,60,0.277,0.625,0.098,-0.8859999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,13,1,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,2,8,2,8,12,0,9,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221422336876491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215848485452107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376728473022289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23764169164178106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27901772681371656,0.3942216668321773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136130955203585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26959230073007445,0.0,0.24363441834241525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458446880993647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878352883765363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273942328881671,0.0,0.22131911646493335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway_for_me_hah,2018/04/11,"Teen from Texas who wants to get help for depression Is it possible for a minor in Texas to go to a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist without needing a parent to sign for/accompany the minor? I don't know what to do anymore
",9.36488372093023,7.846595372093022,10.35779069767442,59.09622093023259,60.3953488372093,14.181395348837205,42.43023255813954,13.023866798666859,5.777009302325583,183,9,31,6,2,64,32,43,0.094,0.838,0.069,-0.25,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,8,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352373345020733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911468331314333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660799077558156,0.0,0.1921116176174468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265760096844669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577378098054687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506467606352337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753450055568933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810807699329885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924817003539609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938028293283067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258511958831621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ntzi,2018/04/12,"Need help,don't want to kill myself. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.

So,I'm 21,been facing really hard times since childhood from being bulllied to messed up home enviornment to resigning from my first job within 5 months last year because of same type of toxic people at work.I was still doing okay.But 2 days back we had some glass door repair work at home and called a man who takes work for installing glass door.To give an idea, where I'm from only rowdy people or corrupt politicians could survive,either you yourself have to be a badass asshole type criminal or should know someone who is involved in those type of acti ities ,especially a politician,otherwise there is no justice for a simple/common/mango man.
Coming back to that day when the incidemt took place,I'll have to go back to 2 more days before from that day.Before calling in this man, let's call him(Y),we had called someone else to perform the job,let's call him(X).But (X) did not make the glass door as per our expectation and was not responding to our calls afterwards,so I went to his workshop and took back the advance money deposited with him.Now we call (Y),someone who we contacted through another shop nearby our locality.He comes in, took the advance money ,took the reference picture with him, which I had clicked of the glass door which got shaterred which is why we are getting a new one installed.He promised to install it by the next day.Next day he sends his people who were to install it but to our surprise the glass door was exactly the one which was made by(X) and which we had rejected.Upon inquiring with the people who brought it with them,we got to know that it was indeed from the same workshop i.e. (X)'s because they get their work done from X's workshop.
After this my mother called that person(Y),to inform about this because it did not match the reference picture we had given him and how he  could send this glass door without even checking it and he started giving round answers and told my mother he will come within half an hour to our place to look at the problem.He then called his people on the phone who were infront of us and called them back and instructed them to leave the glass there itself i.e. our home.After this when again my mother called him to know when he was coming as it was already late ,his tone of talking had already changed and stared saying something rude and started lying,upon which I took the phone and asked him strictly whether he was coming or not and what he would do in this regard,to which he told me he will get a new one installed as per our reference photo.After this he sent his worker to our place to take the other glass door with him for proper size reference and design(mind that glass size is not too big),and we indeed gave it to him in a hope for the satisfactory result.Next day his workers came with the new glass along with the old one they took along with them.But we were shocked when we noticed there was a crack in the old glass which they took for the reference purpose.We immediately called (Y) and he arrived few minutes later and asked his people(workers) whether it was during the time  they were installing the glass cracked to which they replied no.Right after this he started shouting loudly that he isn't going to pay for it,and started behaving really ill mannered way and became aggressive while walking towards my mother,to which I came forward and started shouting on him as well and that went  for several minutes and I don't remember much of what he said bevause I literally was not into my senses,meanwhile my mother kept telling me to calm down and not to stoop to his way of cheap talking.Even then my mother did not raisd her voice and talked to him with patience telling him not to raise his voice as this is someone's home not road.After that I told him to finish that work off and leave that old glass and leave the place.I paid his full amount cause that way he got to know his real value because it was not at all about money,we were really calm while talking and would have had even paid for the glass that cracked due to their mistake.


What really hurt me and kicked my nervousness,anxiety and fear is,after all these years of coping with the bullying I had at school,someone dared to shout and get aggressive in my own home where I thought I was safe.I feel guilty for not being able to protect my mother's dignity and respect because of the way he talked.What if he would have had caused her any harm ,what I would have had done then.I feel powerless,feared and isolated today.The person (Y),had mentioned about working at a property dealer's place nearby our house who has two wives and is involved politically.These are the kind of people due to whom these (Y) type of shameless creatures do crimes in the broad day light.

Now again I have gotten into depression and extreme fear that if in future he becomes powerful (Y) and tries to harm my family in any way,what I will do then because I cannot be sitting at home forever.My mother has suffered for very long in family for different reasons.After he went away I could see her sad although she did say while smiling that don't mind these type of incidents or people and not to get upset about it.But I fear for my mother,family, even myself.Also this incident has literally shaterred my self esteem and confidence that someone really dared to behave that way in my home,took out his frustration and I could not stop him from doing that.Why is these type of things happening with me ,I am lost.What should I do.I don't want to live in fear all my life.There is no rule and law .I don't want to go down the path of becoming a criminal,because I feel that is the only way dealing with these type of people.
I have no more motivation left to live.

Please I need answers.",9.334272970562001,7.290598813559325,8.311694736842103,75.40430214094563,60.86440677966101,11.215992863514721,36.960588760035684,9.541641789337516,3.280011154326494,4654,163,880,63,50,1440,416,1121,0.093,0.846,0.061,-0.9875,5,1,1,0,0,1,113.0,19,1,9,13,28,28,5,5,45,0,85,2,1,6,4,150,156,63,1,20,24,8,5,0,0,9,1,9,11,5,68,71,0,3,20,1,9,28,24,20,1,7,63,19,101,8,137,75,13,132,0,5,5,0,136,42,0,8,57,549,169,18,0.0352576605573707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778154103246564,0.028195538409487436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047952836431419295,0.03697073126645862,0.026972013821927862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592230637363942,0.0,0.033125732704863096,0.13555482321556775,0.0,0.15044919838199533,0.07787863206381841,0.06000334456983567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.432024161662162,0.08065074185937411,0.0,0.07243865912400886,0.037297929870743436,0.15185676321777195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260149205243945,0.0,0.0,0.1819061941281688,0.03634909987596936,0.03036737137450728,0.0,0.0,0.03683675107193215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216165589694852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02945325123149575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314940910090863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971335356616796,0.1983733517007725,0.05348199765591925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029990148058715273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921033621747579,0.06764472143894143,0.060113223023580485,0.0,0.08459631598895236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031178232790670786,0.0,0.03158393854910138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02363246667201794,0.0,0.2475641579107804,0.03501881234475257,0.03472169353413188,0.04068260649908522,0.037744054842945685,0.0398016071920786,0.0,0.0,0.06997557551383685,0.0,0.03900737754972397,0.03671542787551732,0.0775067526993969,0.028739699131525662,0.03977217682431192,0.11199831517787512,0.03830755135810576,0.07210669339899756,0.024903528344569204,0.0,0.0,0.062266320444887925,0.031201920099398893,0.029607554999472374,0.0,0.03848790143287666,0.0,0.0,0.03336165091395208,0.02353476220226604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120037266745101,0.0,0.028142328279190637,0.0,0.025918437308085775,0.05228621711019124,0.0,0.10215620481209332,0.11249076597660568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014108023076728,0.1109909513342152,0.0,0.09556601307640628,0.053630079249826525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955457798160513,0.06157125849466311,0.1841837553596608,0.0774046472304777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03373681950233713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04013093659851359,0.11293480088523893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994005634133917,0.030109849471410214,0.033538109113086585,0.056076613628190164,0.0,0.035682634800720495,0.028095790639523745,0.0,0.036781429371385226,0.03983112073574794,0.0,0.029165501155668107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792422082489627,0.027143069630509213,0.0,0.0,0.1247777680634498,0.0,0.02815681326529306,0.029476982959494795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053018745738294,0.08501631605870852,0.0616334987428742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023423623016974097,0.0,0.0,0.027990644163650925,0.041118050811196655,0.0,0.03342013963834692,0.10107061678925126,0.31338046541450404,0.023937637144832376,0.0,0.034441611226099886,0.0,0.04241062448927307,0.0,0.0,0.029091262440754433,0.062387645073669735,0.19590122888999026,0.0,0.0,0.031700871115886674,0.0980526137042052,0.06362910934947606,0.0,0.0,0.033987126604754316,0.0,0.17967597761733506,0.0,0.0,0.1001841218730226,0.0,0.0,0.04540955486227625
mentalhealth,brothersgottahugman,2018/04/12,"First time posting. I might be the biggest piece of garbage on the planet. I don’t love anything or anyone. I’m the most self-centered person you’ve ever met. My wonderful wife and two wonderful sons love me and want me to get help, but I feel like nothing will change how I feel every day. I go to work every day and do my job very well, I feel a sense of accomplishment, and then I come home, and I feel miserable. I have no desire to go and do anything except laundry, and I can’t think of anything that would sound like fun if I tried. What is wrong with me",2.6620512820512845,3.8847461452991454,3.8013675213675207,90.96307692307694,74.72649572649573,6.567521367521367,24.11111111111111,6.937597516519254,0.6902239316239309,437,13,97,4,9,142,77,117,0.08800000000000001,0.6729999999999999,0.239,0.9454,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,3,8,0,1,4,0,10,2,0,1,1,27,26,12,0,4,4,2,4,2,0,3,0,1,1,1,2,9,0,0,7,0,0,3,3,2,1,2,1,5,16,6,9,21,2,12,0,1,0,2,7,2,0,6,8,60,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655634707186697,0.0,0.3762180146572733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612110097138857,0.13127260528966994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656105131195895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378476991902927,0.2567944300962932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082168143024093,0.10886919951964336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296249434424187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961876739911661,0.0,0.17321628688011054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214544955789054,0.0,0.15286205658856253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122599595996075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489025106762424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750802788969655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616643112140893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622466956967456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330632126994432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459498456765295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897856498282895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976469311251426,0.0,0.0,0.08886126538003143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346447289853633,0.0,0.14886528397620133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257397343010281,0.08988501766588218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370191176591426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305262312676228,0.11094352142867428,0.0,0.0,0.10825522690146444,0.16661722537762302,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dontbedenied76,2018/04/12,"What to do about body dysmorphia I've never been diagnosed with body dysmorphia, but I'm almost certain I suffer from it to some degree.  I've only shared glimpses of it to the closest people to me in my life; what I'm about to write about deeply embarrasses me and makes me feel equal parts pathetic and helpless.

I'm white, male, 19, and have a big nose.  Apart from the nose, I think I'm fairly good looking; I've got good bone structure, clear skin and I'm in ok physical shape.  I've got a really pretty girlfriend who is way out of my league and who I know genuinely loves me and my face.  Even with my long, crooked hook nose when I'm in my right mind I don't think I'm horrifically ugly, just sort of average to slightly good looking.  Of course, I forget all these facts when I deeply obsess over my nose. The extent to which I obsess is difficult to describe, and it is not nearly as bad as it was two years back.  Nevertheless it never seems far away, always around the corner.  It genuinely feels like an all consuming mental sickness, such is the paranoia it inflicts in me when its is at its worst.  A list of some examples of how I behave when I'm at my most paranoid and obsessed with it are as follows:

>Need to look in literally every mirror and reflective surface in the house before leaving to go somewhere
>Twisting and contorting my face to look at my nose at different angles in the mirror
>Inability to focus on work; constant thoughts about my nose
>Analysis in my head of everyone's nose who I meet, including even family
>Constant touching of nose
>For about a year an obsession with exercises which were supposed to make my nose smaller; in reality just caused nosebleeds
>Sink into deep depression for a few days or sometimes weeks every time a friend jokes about it
>Complete phobia of picture taking and videoing, to the point where I can honestly say that I've taken less than 10 pictures of myself in my entire life
>Complete distrust of friends who have made jokes about it; jokes from friends such as these are usually fairly innocent banter, and yet has caused me to almost set them aside as friends.  My paranoia has certainly wrecked relationships for me in the past.
>Fear of almost any social gathering where I can't escape to a toilet to check in the mirror how my nose looks
>Suicidal thoughts and depression.  This I have been to see someone about and my family and close friends are aware off.  It comes in waves and has been fairly under control fro sometime.  However, I strongly suspect given when it was at its worst that it is intrinsically linked to how I feel about my face.  The thought of telling my friends and family about this scares me immensely, and is something I've never realistically considered.  

To conclude, when at its worst my body dysmorphia permeates and undermines every aspect of my life.  It's been getting better generally over the last two years, but it's still bad and I'm scared one day it will cost me dearly in terms of a relationship or in work etc.  I want to escape it.  I don't know what help I expected to find on here, nor did I mean for this post to turn into quite the lengthy vent it has become.  Any advice or help would be hugely appreciated, or just an acknowledgement that I'm not alone in feeling like this.


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mentalhealth,brianfrescas,2018/04/12,"Just putting this out there, hoping it’ll help someone. I recently started having bad panic attacks. Please take your mental health seriously. Please don’t try to do this alone. I’m m/26. The last 4 years or so I’ve continued to tell myself to man up and just keep going. No matter what issues I had to deal with, no matter how hard I had to work, I didn’t care. I would tell myself to man up and just keep pushing on. “I don’t have time to cry and complain” “others have it worse” “who am I to ask for help” I would tell myself. So far I’ve managed fine, I thought, minor mood swings and anger issues aside.

The last few weeks have been the hardest of my life though. 3 times now I’ve started uncontrollably crying, for no apparent reason. I just spent 30 minutes in the restroom, balling. I’m not sure if they are panic attacks or just pent up stress and emotion I’ve been pushing down. I’m not going to get into my life’s story, but I’m positive I wouldn’t have hit this point if I had reached out to someone sooner. It’s so bad I’m tearing up while typing this.

Please, please, if you think you need help, get it. Don’t wait, don’t hesitate, no matter who you are. Please go to someone, talk to someone. I’ve never allowed myself regrets, but this time I regret not seeking help sooner. ",2.0653643852978485,3.9902050722433486,3.310365969581748,90.84689242712295,78.12547528517109,5.447972116603296,22.745405576679346,6.21433560688645,0.4024424588086189,1006,31,209,7,24,326,134,263,0.17600000000000002,0.6779999999999999,0.147,-0.6048,2,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,4,1,1,14,18,3,4,4,0,23,3,0,3,2,44,47,18,0,10,15,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,13,9,0,3,3,1,1,6,14,13,0,0,8,1,24,4,26,34,1,32,0,2,0,0,20,12,0,6,14,123,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945221789653668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531969966360636,0.20765238721926976,0.0,0.0,0.15240357625270678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304992607878007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049885872563195,0.0,0.0940893744488364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265993205999263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536354695139736,0.0,0.15560263031798782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175478982576012,0.0,0.0,0.0970095682807531,0.0,0.0,0.24468985624847955,0.0,0.0,0.09064593507684736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905122103185378,0.0,0.16223961418917332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148784994531362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289251954796526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197283986539824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767124188742714,0.07038857105011641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415773044553352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5009033829035279,0.08627416053665703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174572019567104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383478930005923,0.09011237930437684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093114145241396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919452951816895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454282346877132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601542079580278,0.0,0.06861931433790366,0.07335470042085535,0.2393067790508332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847840908119685,0.08966660516542686,0.07245357405724907,0.1596506526674118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196239555933281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320662976877328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644141865247041,0.0,0.09300600846133082,0.12966292685242606,0.0,0.0,0.05877114736775513
mentalhealth,velociraptorjax,2018/04/12,"I might be going on ECT I've been diagnosed with depression/anxiety for 3.5 years, and have been prescribed (and reacted poorly) to nearly every medication out there. My doctor recently recommended ECT (electric shock therapy), and I'm seriously thinking about it. I'm excited to try something that might work that isn't pills.

But I'm also really scared. What if my body doesn't want me to get better, because it secretly likes being depressed so it can get away with being lazy and needy?

I also feel conflicted about it financially. I recently left a job where I had good pay and great benefits, for a job with lousy pay and no benefits. Luckily I'm just young enough to still be covered under my parents health insurance. But even with their insurance, it'll still be really costly. I am just feeling bad about leaving a job where I had awesome health coverage and short term disability. There are a lot of reasons why I changed jobs, and I know I would hate if I still worked there, but I am regretting leaving those benefits. And I feel bad about being such a financial burden on my parents. They aren't hurting, but it's still a lot of money for them.

I don't know if I'm looking for any particular advice here or if I just needed to vent, but if you have had experience with ECT that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear about it.",6.006,6.485829407692307,6.904423076923077,74.50432692307693,66.46153846153845,10.807692307692307,32.78846153846154,10.686352973137794,3.568076923076924,1066,43,199,28,16,356,142,260,0.136,0.718,0.146,0.7034,6,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,3,3,23,21,1,1,6,0,26,8,1,2,0,47,46,23,0,9,14,2,3,2,0,4,6,1,0,0,12,15,0,1,8,0,5,1,5,10,0,0,5,5,24,11,29,30,4,20,0,3,1,1,11,10,0,10,11,137,36,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023335406449824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405551859532494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975330045680349,0.0,0.07846822520026292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963709076737794,0.0,0.17128869239515654,0.06252767700931207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907176690746777,0.0,0.11393571327861568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850885588015467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834615581494372,0.1041096494062014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498802724278948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598554588998388,0.0,0.06774863807776922,0.0,0.0864223537077228,0.0,0.0,0.10033628202647264,0.0,0.0,0.15559229147409082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718053776102816,0.0,0.05829471927049941,0.08603354232995129,0.0,0.11308732658050237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126980947199622,0.0,0.2180610522298519,0.11560746291390366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098067432020782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4071523360612966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274310782854732,0.0,0.0,0.2172204388209916,0.11144609322403304,0.0,0.0,0.10022417885625276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613566301226636,0.0,0.0,0.1744081508575864,0.09257632711090392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033317182282819,0.0,0.2176279334473163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760567358106721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277908228548072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142205023794354,0.1054623438345772,0.2025573414900615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026936776509592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896586863905808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276603932964833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730140543555855,0.0,0.0,0.06572477149918163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964047677877946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050033707376672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255636814311057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934903762350124,0.0,0.0,0.072865065698504,0.0,0.0,0.06605378450236353
mentalhealth,CatherineAragonVIII,2018/04/12,"My boyfriend is hearing voices. :( My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. The first 7-8 months of our relationship he was perfectly healthy. No mental issues to speak of. In February he turned 26 and we moved to Las Vegas NV. Ever since the move he’s been experiencing people harassing him although there is no one who would do such a thing and I’ve never heard or seen any signs of it. 

He’s particular become obsessed with the down stairs neighbor, thinking he’s belittling him through the walls. It keeps him from sleeping at night, overly active tinkering with his computers, tablets, etc. I try and explain to him that this is an illusion and the neighbor isn’t thinking twice about him. It’s so incredibly sad because he’s such a sweet and kind soul. This breaks my heart. 

Since he turned 26 his insurance is invalid, which we are working on so he can seek professional help, but does anyone know what I can do in the meantime? 

This has also been accompanied by suicidal thoughts and depression. I’m afraid to leave the house so he’s not alone. I’ve tried getting him to go on hikes, just listening to him talk without judgment, but it’s so insane I can’t wrap my mind around it. Thanks for reading and please help! 

As a girlfriend this has been very hard for me to comprehend. It happened so suddenly and normally he’s a very logical, down to earth person. It feels like out of no where I’m dating someone with a whole different outlook and mindset, although he’s still the amazing man I fell in love with. At first he believed me when I reassured him the neighbor was not really talking to him negatively, but now when I express doubt he gets frustrated because he truly hears this. Now I just listen and let him cry, which probably isn’t a good approach either. I’m lost. ",4.481497584541064,6.255226057971015,5.024057971014493,81.80120772946863,71.02898550724638,8.357487922705317,31.038647342995173,8.94667605116694,2.6506618357487928,1430,63,269,28,27,457,198,345,0.127,0.7390000000000001,0.134,0.5839,1,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,3,0,0,5,21,17,2,3,17,0,23,3,2,0,3,45,48,26,1,2,10,0,2,1,4,1,0,7,3,2,18,19,0,1,7,1,0,5,11,8,0,4,10,12,29,9,38,36,3,36,1,3,1,1,51,15,0,2,16,175,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610402795485247,0.0,0.08964805564406136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623331192086638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783844357220969,0.0,0.0,0.09979468809498687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667287064330289,0.12380802663430135,0.0,0.12630074424157609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231389571908101,0.0,0.0,0.09655342484361497,0.0,0.0,0.11712289589518228,0.0,0.0,0.09810135433881123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502353958506798,0.0,0.1014028203250336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668221962616257,0.08008580442522213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070807749049265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713750193143314,0.0,0.06371024006583577,0.09402597189157856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913156853075196,0.0,0.10042151490023372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526945599127132,0.1328415975629847,0.1502794276492061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935083977499914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700552840973333,0.0,0.09964154925007636,0.0,0.1167371473237185,0.06160841458207456,0.0,0.0,0.11869999956835718,0.0,0.1146320522109178,0.0,0.05476745214008148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237274845287835,0.0,0.10117657479883943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129726090501148,0.0,0.11319122334301238,0.0,0.08947887339074179,0.2382937069614693,0.0,0.0,0.08646009550731182,0.0,0.0,0.10520028173556199,0.10983631377950187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596332382033867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771752171973076,0.0978832808127388,0.0,0.12305450637700645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086508718223506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213249492740783,0.0,0.07181551326932037,0.0,0.0,0.1203557651579488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854641278714139,0.0,0.11218311732943928,0.0,0.09498379510438504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952492857937677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262156647285173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802069372819556,0.0,0.10320860613875868,0.0,0.0,0.0744756928956046,0.14366107334885495,0.0,0.08899659190944018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222001407323324,0.24386991498663424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849920420861476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515805655660767,0.0,0.10806248041071408,0.0,0.0816117065118966,0.0,0.0,0.07963415702413099,0.0,0.0,0.0721901146547285
mentalhealth,pixxelatedd,2018/04/12,"Happiness/Mental Health Podcasts Can anyone recommend some podcasts that help promote a stress-free, confidence boosting, happiness-promoting podcast?

My mental heath has been struggling recently. I’m short tempered, rude and find it hard to socialise with people. I notice this the most at work as it’s a stressful environment. Any podcasts that help promote a stress-free/generally happier lifestyle would be great. I feel like I’m horrible most of the time. ",6.504318181818181,9.989915974025976,5.9403733766233815,69.61627435064939,71.07792207792205,9.044805194805196,38.19642857142857,9.516144504307137,4.829624675324677,378,22,50,10,8,116,59,77,0.153,0.534,0.314,0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,0,6,2,2,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,8,8,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,2,5,5,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,3,27,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393169026900112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771092587371608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958304698359516,0.14070000217695838,0.0,0.0,0.18000730266954335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713634620499075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642711422433408,0.0,0.0,0.2093469779617605,0.0,0.0,0.2640207705866059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621905767995356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847770092800354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242270999847558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365392475437272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19446282071598486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6768113047603138,0.20589326761143176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484221696846235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338080720174134,0.0,0.0,0.1399065183532918,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daisiesandlavender,2018/04/12,"Crying Out for Help I am going through an awful lot right now and was hoping that there might be someone out there who is able to relate or give constructive advice. I find posting this on a public forum highly embarrassing, but I'm at such a loss I'm willing to do anything to get the help I need.

I have a fairly nice life from an outsider's perspective. I have two loving dogs, a (usually) doting husband, I live in a beautiful city on the coast, and I get to do many new adventurous things on a whim. Inside, however, the emotional turmoil I am experiencing is great - has been for a long time, with many, many ups and downs, but now I am at all time low. 

My grandmother just passed away and she was the closest family member I had. My parents are still alive but I do not receive any emotional support from them. My mom is extremely sick and I'm often at the brunt of her emotional abuse. She just told me that I was hard to love and I really am starting to believe that. My dad and I were estranged for several years, and while we speak now, it is strange and the foundation is shaky. I have lots of friends, but no one close enough I feel comfortable sharing any of this with. My husband is normally wonderful and we have a nice life. However, my mental and emotional shit is killing us and I'm afraid he is about to leave at anytime. We got into a fight and he didn't come home last night for the first time since we got together, nearly 7 years ago. I lost control of myself last night and I ended up kicking him in the balls. (Not hard, but hard enough for him to explode and start raging on me, calling me a cunt and a loser, before storming out of the house). I don't blame him at all. What kind of wife, or person does that? A sick person. I'm so disgusted with myself. I am normally a very sweet, affectionate and kind person who has a lot of compassion and empathy for others. But then there is this side of me that comes out that is so ugly and resentful. My husband thinks I may be bipolar but I'm not too sure. I have bouts of depression and anxiety, but then I have moments of clarity and peace where I think everything is going to be ok. I've finally decided that I'm going to go to the doctor first thing in the morning to seek help because it is affecting my life greatly and I don't want to live like this anymore. I even had to take today off work because I was up all night worrying about my husband not coming home. How do I save myself and my marriage?",4.188321176470588,4.9893231380000005,5.390894117647059,82.60532941176471,70.62,8.84235294117647,28.90588235294117,9.088552180705676,2.267623529411765,1939,71,396,37,34,646,245,500,0.17600000000000002,0.6409999999999999,0.183,0.7974,3,0,0,0,2,0,52.0,5,0,1,7,19,36,7,4,27,2,47,10,1,3,4,81,81,39,1,5,16,8,4,1,1,3,7,1,2,3,19,39,0,1,6,1,0,9,8,16,0,4,13,7,57,20,62,62,8,70,0,5,0,2,42,31,2,11,30,282,76,2,0.07374775569035025,0.08737903117081228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206545333616089,0.06537293573453982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030200557547599,0.0,0.056416831246633985,0.0,0.07313795703172943,0.0,0.0,0.06068811921713714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928844409875018,0.0,0.0,0.08991189473383357,0.0,0.06275390831362271,0.08308846640596905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530470405324184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058148436403416,0.0,0.0,0.08271437890567669,0.0,0.0,0.08100844669802565,0.0,0.0,0.06351883391245366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754839529090511,0.06453715798198109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33182519590039666,0.065318622048064,0.15240229129172575,0.0,0.048709697101827404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627972753174881,0.0,0.06952282068268588,0.0,0.037289081149165834,0.0,0.0,0.08078706159695907,0.06740411264773621,0.12545960663230693,0.0,0.0,0.0569773331071469,0.0,0.07706031704368338,0.07074556722649543,0.1676501963060914,0.0,0.11796563442253488,0.16261432200211942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19819051068927734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829469830980982,0.07791855291960886,0.14795002396375706,0.07324816157795652,0.0,0.08509500850344939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159096503233293,0.15359387788219428,0.0,0.12022852773893652,0.0,0.07808822494077898,0.0,0.0,0.15627066247301488,0.03602942828727778,0.0,0.1302412387921945,0.06526444307942758,0.0,0.0,0.08050438704767368,0.18809311392970626,0.13312045763032124,0.0,0.0,0.22430594730616454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743203920786176,0.07823471452626786,0.0,0.08637248014621585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054683026389975416,0.0,0.07122604199709333,0.0,0.20762181871624366,0.14451428489080034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04997338786270003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188815523565895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318108705581274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062996418878756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724470071444837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298018040866793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331397246601208,0.07570101143241849,0.061004905595337076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062486234075920924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439808211049062,0.0,0.058895052958173315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368807920696526,0.06950638696931638,0.0,0.0554491342577054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798946386858584,0.09450916808503232,0.0,0.0,0.12900872822035336,0.0,0.06990424929571669,0.07046914095276892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720408413414556,0.0,0.08870946977383172,0.0,0.08122273388847545,0.06084962193432075,0.0434983370446326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997629517754701,0.0536892444741061,0.07489442570480083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498227349887567
mentalhealth,sonjeezy,2018/04/12,"I’ve been working out, playing music again and have two job interviews soon. Why am I still depressed? I’m doing all the right things, why am I not happy? ",0.8291935483870958,3.3318686129032287,2.277661290322584,92.53649193548388,88.67741935483872,4.390322580645162,20.65322580645161,5.985473137389443,0.18692903225806434,121,4,24,1,4,39,26,31,0.205,0.7390000000000001,0.055,-0.7057,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,5,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,17,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807846595664234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470347147253403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235062380985557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784035446849191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26034526102603583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21658094582906665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184561470196225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5883313898616043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373330129582982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sadespades-,2018/04/12,"[Advice] I can’t handle being on public transportation The tube (subway) is always packed, people sitting in front of you and I honestly can’t deal with eye contact - it’s too intimidating for me. So I’ll find something to focus on and maybe stare at it throughout the 36 minute train journey. 

I am aware it is “unnatural” and “awkward” and people close by can usually tell something is off. Many a times people have exploited my vulnerableness while on train - because people are generally crappy. 

I feel trapped and helpless. At times I feel like jumping off whatever mode of transport I am on *to avoid those situations all together*
",4.267105263157895,7.234609131578952,5.297456140350878,74.00302631578948,76.10526315789474,7.659649122807018,29.675438596491237,8.59863814320734,2.9025228070175446,507,23,80,11,12,166,82,114,0.181,0.773,0.046,-0.936,0,2,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,2,3,0,11,1,1,0,1,13,13,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,3,0,0,5,2,3,0,0,0,4,9,2,16,12,1,20,0,1,2,0,5,10,0,0,5,52,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652794639205813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585942624594894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288364820864859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789169658437046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372896432526045,0.15098787723776455,0.0,0.0,0.19316929706360067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032545205695339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142748687297499,0.21232863159310536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5860915658079542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375653033196009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254138073558904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184728475441476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464787816497496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327712330079557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dirtywettoes,2018/04/12,I need help My girlfriend has long been emotionally unstable and frequently harms her self during our arguments by hitting herself and I normally can help her handle that but this time is different. Our relationship is failing and I don’t know what to do. I want to be there for her but she doesn’t want to remain friends and I’m scared she will try to commit suicide if we break up. What should I do?,2.1566104078762294,4.79446817721519,3.3675105485232097,86.5534036568214,82.41772151898734,7.055414908579465,25.233473980309423,8.167268648758528,1.8337836849507727,322,13,63,7,9,104,56,79,0.218,0.636,0.146,-0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,2,4.0,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,12,0,0,0,1,15,18,7,1,6,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,15,1,7,13,0,5,0,1,0,0,15,1,0,1,3,46,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27944831570926376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30086677386265004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066459883943292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35855784320689976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469940403786324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367017656265499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832497276591995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620629609164108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287161750930306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677832621433752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790286381972644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29256781911485724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596340217408514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815939839298116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155204486385577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mononym_music_,2018/04/12,"What is the law (MD, US) on getting medication without an appt? Hi guys,

Like the title says I'm in Maryland, US. Basically I switched from Effexor 150mg to Pristiq 50 (a metabolite of Effexor, very similar drugs; 50 is apparent the effective dose); was stuck in bed and couldn't get to work; started taking double doses just to avoid losing my job. I called in and asked if I could get some more meds to hold me over to my next appointment, they said they couldn't. Luckily I have some extra Effexor, so I'll be OK.

Is this the law, or just their policy? (Maryland, United States)

By chance, does anyone know any affordable practices near Baltimore? I'm only still here because it's cheap ($15 copay) and my prescriber is *decent* (not great) but she generally listens.

Any other suggestions/advice? Thanks guys",3.3442982456140338,5.881933078947372,4.742263157894737,79.11150877192982,76.76315789473685,8.263859649122807,27.23859649122807,9.029198982220553,2.6437012280701757,636,26,113,16,15,211,114,152,0.045,0.861,0.094,0.8104,3,1,1,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,3,3,5,6,0,1,6,1,10,4,0,1,0,22,23,7,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,2,4,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,3,3,14,4,15,16,5,10,0,1,0,0,14,6,0,4,4,66,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659457499243236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23096630581777114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874181441268218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875840416533374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352045333791074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734048008919413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355871340693042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861027834442994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693682448283226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661711994283018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722671102338412,0.0,0.33629621050297875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851975166284258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332841224373338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296527975182875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899846967730829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886312950379392,0.17107538336317746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806050735802049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915545989403446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615373300605748,0.13504736378834284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201991885465144,0.0,0.13561815374125666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768320660007956,0.0,0.0,0.15634707379114687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085441443999343,0.0,0.0,0.1401189568238739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370003656587978,0.0,0.12363069299746272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Take10cbt,2018/04/12,"I've made a new CBT site for depression Hey all. - I've just published a new website that offers free CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for depression. Each lesson on the site only takes about 10 minutes to complete, and the whole course only lasts for 2 weeks.

The current evidence for online CBT for depression is pretty poor (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3180363/pdf/1471-244X-11-131.pdf). Some of the major issues are dropoff before completing the course and the lack of a therapist to support patients through the course. By making this online course only 2 weeks in duration, I'm hoping to significantly reduce dropoff.

I'd love any feedback (good and awful!) so that I can keep making the site better and better - please take a look at http://take10cbt.com and let me know what you think.

My background (for those interested) is I’m a doctor in the uk, currently in psychiatry specialty training.

Cheers!

P.S. I know the ads on the site are really annoying at the moment - I'm working on reducing the number of them!!",6.1750000000000025,9.008520222222224,5.776388888888889,73.68625000000003,69.0,8.944444444444445,32.361111111111114,9.516144504307137,3.605111111111112,840,38,126,20,16,259,114,180,0.101,0.743,0.155,0.8546,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,1,4,3,13,1,0,18,1,6,2,0,3,1,19,22,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,6,10,23,20,6,20,0,3,1,1,5,12,0,2,8,70,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648568963405857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207324636458274,0.0,0.0,0.2509689664960033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975244370306095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666123200407541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522384095807814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900520275032618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409223941979496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808957941286105,0.0,0.1261126317793903,0.0,0.0,0.1559509935599528,0.1156540424692677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508555817723034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914646035956535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805545696888287,0.13425365985876528,0.18941676284002906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740640625305404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237265342342694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574554759852008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434659372615974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089424491234292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100778823126616,0.0,0.0,0.21335756659184096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225622191889078,0.1647377547069174,0.0,0.09091325948177308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22762087520929405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840793343280413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329292518717637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NarwalCat,2018/04/12,"Advice Need for Deteriorating Mental Health of Mother This is a post for a daughter that needs advice for a mother that has struggled with mental health. T Apologizes in advance for the long post and also as a forewarning this is my first post/I’m pretty new to Reddit.

My 50 y/o mother has been having progressive mental health deterioration over the past decade and alarmingly more issues the past few years. I’ve always known she has had mental health issues but given my family’s culture, it’s been kept under wraps and a secret only known to my mother’s parents, my mother’s husband/my dad, and myself. My mother and father have not been transparent in what exactly my mother has been diagnosed with but I believe it is bi-polar disorder and mild schizophrenia. She was diagnosed in college after having a breakdown and ever since she’s been on medication. Up until middle of my high school, she was 70% of the time-a normal person/mother, kind happy, relatively smart, would constantly change jobs (entry level retail) but was able to work and also be a housewife. Every now and then, I’d see changes in her mood/behavior that exhibited her mental health struggles and maybe every five years she’d have a break down that would require hospitalization. All of this was pretty manageable to me and my father.

The major change came while I was in high school where I think she somehow got a doctor’s authorization that she was no longer mentally fit to be able to work (which I didn’t believe was the case) and she was able to file for disability. In my opinion this was the biggest mistake and beginning of a downward spiral. At first, I didn’t notice a change in her mental health. She kept busy through hobbies, being a housewife, volunteering at our church, spending time with me and my dad. However, there was another big change for her when I went to college. Pretty much after I went to college, I had never moved back home. Since I’m an only child and relatively unpopular/average in middle school/high school, I spent a lot of time with my mother before college. I think my moving out was a huge impact on the socialization of my mother. My father is a pretty quiet personality and spends majority of the week/weekend on a set schedule. He works Monday-Friday and goes to the gym after work so he only spends a few hrs a night with her during weekdays. He also cooks, cleans after himself, does all of his laundry (lack of housewife things to do for my mom). So basically after my high school, my mother is mostly alone and not really socialized. She has two friends of an off and on relationship where she’s ostracized them in her bad times and I don't think she is in contact with them anymore. My parents have family friends that host get-togethers for major holidays, but they are all much closer to each other than my mother is to them (she’d never call or see the women directly) and lately she doesn't even want to go.

Fast forward to today, I’m currently 27, it’s been a little over a decade since my mom stopped working. My mother is not someone I recognize anymore. All of the personality that I described prior (the 70% of the time) I have not seen in the past 6 years. I’d say what used to be her mildly bad days from before are the norm with a lot of really bad days/stretches in between. As far as I know, I don’t think she’s had a breakdown bad enough to be hospitalized but it could have also been hidden from me (she’s also terrified/paranoid of this from prior experiences). I’ve had serious talks with her of how I’ve seen such a huge change in her and how I’m worried and have urged her continuously to either get a job or volunteer (she'll try and never follow through). She’s very reluctant to get a job because she’s afraid of losing her disability but I’ve argued that it’s been far worse for her mental health than helpful. She also has lost a lot of her confidence, mental ability, socialization, etc. over the years and has almost regressed to a child-like state. I feel like she has the ability to do so much but she just doesn’t use her mind and falls victim to “use it or lost it.” She has no hobbies, doesn’t read, rarely watches tv, sits in alone in her room, “cleans” (there’s plenty of housework left undone), and only goes out to go grocery shopping. She also doesn’t listen to my dad, she almost has a petulant/stubborn child-like attitude. There’s seems to be nothing he can do to get her to do anything (get a job, volunteer, have a hobby, go to the gym, go to a family party, go to movies, etc.) lately. The only thing she continues to do is grocery shopping.

I recently got engaged and had gotten married in India and despite all of my dad’s requests, she refused to come (she claims it’s too hot, even though she’s been there 7 or 8 times and lived there for a few years, really she's paranoid we'll just leave her there). It’s just one of many things she claims she can no longer do despite having done many times before. We’re having another wedding in the states for all of our friends and family and my fiancé’s side of the family that couldn’t make it. And I admit, part of the reason I’m so motivated to finally drive some change in my mother is all of the wedding events that my mother has to attend (and will probably flip flop on wanting to come). But also, she’s been probably the worst mentally even admitted by my dad (who to avoid confrontation with her usually lets her be even if she's still ""off"") recently. For example, she’s left me 3 voicemails (she hangs up when I answer) that she will be busy until Feb 2019 (implying she can’t come to the wedding). I’ve been worried about her health for the past 5 years and I’ve repeatedly talked to my mom, my dad, and so it’s no surprise this has all happened. I’m sure the stress of my wedding is a trigger for her (we made sure not to stress her with responsibilities), but it’s really a culmination of everything and mostly her every day routine/lack of one.

I have no idea how to get her to change and neither does my father. I can admit that we were probably not the best caregivers for her because we have had no advice (apart from my dad going to her doctor with her) or have never sought out professional help. Everything has been kept in our bubble. Right now, my dad is not sure if she takes her medicine and has no ideas on how to get her better other than “talking to the doctor about increasing the medicine.” I myself can’t think of anything other than having my dad talk to the doctor and asking the doctor to recommend a psychologist/psychiatrist (always get these mixed up). The only extreme thing I can think of is sending her to a mental health treatment facility like a 3-4 week program (I’m assuming there’s such a thing?). The problem is, I’m not sure if this would be a huge shock to her and also how to get her to even go when she refused to leave the house?

Selfishly, I wasn’t too upset that she didn’t come to the wedding since sometimes it’s stressful to deal with her when she's in a negative state of mind. There was a point a few years ago, where I mourned that the personality of my mother has died and the person left is basically a shell with the malignant alteration of her personality resulting from her diseases. However, I’m hoping that there’s something I missed and maybe some way to revive her. Any advice is greatly appreciated and thanks for reading.",6.206615916955018,6.348459959169553,6.8903806228373705,75.94083044982702,66.01730103806229,9.595847750865053,30.56401384083045,9.356347971144046,2.5966595155709347,5871,196,1097,101,85,1941,485,1445,0.108,0.799,0.093,-0.957,10,3,1,0,0,0,169.0,7,0,4,16,56,46,3,9,85,0,123,18,0,14,18,184,197,92,2,17,29,34,2,2,3,7,17,3,4,7,48,69,1,8,21,9,7,25,34,27,0,6,52,10,160,19,182,124,37,170,1,5,5,0,172,70,0,22,70,770,208,29,0.09304585862675926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123111490369293,0.02749317986892139,0.0,0.06211465797884494,0.06424496558305108,0.0,0.22322621858182967,0.0516144054171934,0.0,0.0,0.02109145818154781,0.06504446372534838,0.0,0.0,0.061517659726466174,0.0,0.0,0.051045875752578095,0.0,0.02899510584945905,0.0,0.0,0.0238488406352953,0.10358587390031028,0.037813261198957435,0.0,0.07917517254006377,0.06988721330210029,0.03254862938516398,0.027430500221290018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03167007493619095,0.03547322485648112,0.0,0.0,0.26248048263077217,0.1068676911514424,0.0,0.033516506009555525,0.0,0.024763182301014326,0.0,0.0,0.0400045875482869,0.03197539820474895,0.0,0.06295972527081556,0.03218897040266979,0.0,0.03554620503380504,0.1587272983251731,0.05428337193950227,0.031739406069095484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032047081562419165,0.06918048528718783,0.10242652014430348,0.02805510203461387,0.07839514892802102,0.0,0.05574907873475505,0.03033890127914262,0.1461922577399228,0.0,0.01568226061230962,0.02215732666479948,0.0,0.0339757300266586,0.0,0.052763173210281684,0.0,0.0,0.07188699956480236,0.0,0.1458378624188697,0.0,0.12338691330056185,0.0,0.04961151536317809,0.034194462538912944,0.0,0.0,0.02742671516499206,0.033016348896298675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29671019009921823,0.0,0.0,0.041577785143329084,0.13107741094839825,0.03111086089941097,0.030805177382703493,0.0,0.035787476093055985,0.0,0.0700249658725159,0.0,0.0647438015555588,0.12311154330072632,0.0,0.0,0.03229764782575922,0.017045190180614653,0.0,0.06997318754887856,0.06568141968289537,0.10109459764648196,0.03171523149855169,0.0,0.030305004398117237,0.031085464789380717,0.02738706594886068,0.0274475523007551,0.0,0.03469817186481758,0.06771369737246016,0.0791042616530787,0.0,0.029347413729127362,0.02070294438209833,0.06288926434836457,0.062318047469331436,0.0,0.0,0.031244637881887014,0.3438172498796432,0.0,0.06263319521354599,0.10897418506769482,0.0,0.06592868168342222,0.06839941208437668,0.04599488346129885,0.09568360302425503,0.029954756689056013,0.0,0.02910574507396316,0.03038839531595415,0.029760003604353283,0.035311108916788014,0.0,0.0,0.0420335212341602,0.14153113658523978,0.0,0.0,0.06887760984668823,0.03358653254668302,0.1184304005567982,0.0,0.16248810961362614,0.0,0.0,0.029319470493877457,0.0,0.08911221231350512,0.1262147850845436,0.10031917285291683,0.029677440196040124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620473587716892,0.0,0.07947674614890576,0.03188887981139316,0.061247706838600674,0.033298810241540085,0.0,0.02648688495777273,0.0,0.024664600455768716,0.0,0.1569456273526558,0.04943033509173367,0.02823515171191549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026246610205704,0.0,0.0,0.0948485353287046,0.026279151356409743,0.023877082593413597,0.030674911119436488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024768847630521784,0.025930168043241254,0.10658371668781176,0.06484782257233783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692616080428628,0.0,0.02331963532911387,0.09971564886627528,0.0,0.028554708506054467,0.0,0.0,0.10302589003872767,0.11924005836184627,0.030472361227054382,0.0,0.1265968396472206,0.0,0.029398864803827814,0.0,0.0,0.021057343439000162,0.0,0.030297427928765924,0.0,0.0,0.08036174734242937,0.034158955952494394,0.025590859305898373,0.036587238768755255,0.024618490549898616,0.04975718356714196,0.0,0.0,0.057502962089049064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128974887518476,0.06299505732595513,0.03160722635691922,0.06609710835234751,0.0,0.0,0.13980979209709646
mentalhealth,Tweety215,2018/04/12,"Im not enjoying my new job and its really getting me down I liked my old job, my old colleagues, we were small but we were a little family. I knew my job and I was good at it. I left because the work was drying up. I thought this new job would be a good next step in my career but I'm really struggling with the transition, I'm not picking things up as fast as what I wanted. When I get home I can't switch off, all I do is dream about my mistakes or things that can go wrong. I've been there 2 months

Im just feeling really low and on top of it it's a huge staff team and I'm having trouble connecting with them. It's very cliquey. 

My partner and I have decided we would like to try for a baby at the end of the year but I'm worried I'll still be picking things up then and not have bonded with any colleagues.

This is my 4th job in 6 years. My old job was my first job I spend a good amount of time at. I feel like such a job hopper. All my friends are still on their first/second.

I miss my old job but my position has been filled and I can't go back. I feel like such a failure.",0.14755367129713193,1.772009261410794,2.255027963196828,97.55807144145771,82.94190871369295,5.685080281436045,19.19195381562331,6.7026698264267655,-0.11963229298214005,836,21,210,9,23,281,127,241,0.117,0.735,0.14800000000000002,0.7603,9,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,0,2,4,9,15,0,1,11,0,22,0,0,2,2,36,37,16,0,4,9,0,3,4,2,2,0,0,1,1,12,13,0,0,6,2,1,4,5,6,0,1,9,3,34,9,23,24,3,41,0,2,0,0,8,18,0,1,23,129,46,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054725950872814635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188052384744965,0.0,0.04905698451246653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127721286873846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586493305674089,0.0,0.1220721606524245,0.11498311402590153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690446626046332,0.0,0.0,0.062175002675083225,0.0,0.08409002592879855,0.0,0.09147191378901147,0.2024965433949114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072326865866751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385422678007792,0.0,0.718733692012062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743662855813555,0.0,0.0,0.1572646298436335,0.08065737343900499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423460172397669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544705623118696,0.08558637459378618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377810811382108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546635775904302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853532713921562,0.0,0.0,0.08413023703139537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039260296815533,0.0,0.0,0.06388838414549895,0.04692578366866052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463743344037205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640053509400982,0.0474664059306852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058586963214359876,0.08172655448418525,0.0,0.11433466171913027,0.08798708683817331,0.0,0.10364688529336112
mentalhealth,pocket_chemist,2018/04/12,"Low self-confidence: physical & mental There are days - like today - when I am terribly dissatisfied with the way I look, especially my face. And this dissatisfaction triggers a cascade of negativity: 
- First, a feeling of hopelessness takes over my brain, and I’m left unable to concentrate on work.
- The more I hate my face, the more flaws I see. Inevitably, I begin to squeeze tiny spots and pick little blemishes, and soon my face is scarred. (In the latest photo I took you can see the scars on my chin and forehead: https://imgur.com/a/x8Lgs)
- At this point, I’m consumed with anger and self-hatred, and I wash my face and try to distract myself by working.

I am really afraid of taking out this anger on my boyfriend. Today (and in the past) I tried to open up about this recurring feeling, but he seems unable to grasp what my problem is. His only advice was to leave my face alone (he know about the skin picking) and to eat for the sake of plumping up my ass…

A bit of self-history:
- At 14 I developed trichtillomania (compulsive hair pulling). I still do this a bit when I am under intense stress.
- Between the ages of 15 and 20, I developed anorexia. It started from emetophobia (after a particularly bad stomach bug), which turned into restrictive eating habits during stressful exam periods, and finally into full-blown food restriction after the breakdown of my most important friendship. I also isolated myself as much as possible from society, convinced that I would never allow myself to trust someone and go through the same pain as before. Thankfully, university life and a work experience abroad shook me out of my self-inflicted punishment, and I started eating relatively normally again.
- At 21, I decided to give deep one-on-one relationships another chance. Knowing that a man (a very good-looking one in my opinion!) finds me attractive enough to be his girlfriend, and re-learning how to enjoy life as I did when I was a kid has helped me overcome the ED completely.
- Besides episodes of body hatred, I also get days when I feel terribly stupid and unsuccessful. To date, I am too scared to take an IQ test. The worrying thing is: I know that I waste hours/days dealing with these issues - time which could be spent learning and working, thus ruining my chances of success.

I would appreciate any bits wisdom from anyone who cared enough to read my post. How should I handle my confidence problems/mental health issues? And how should I communicate about this (if at all) with my boyfriend?",7.497180952380952,8.438615457777779,7.328968253968253,71.14250000000001,63.31111111111112,10.606349206349208,35.849206349206355,10.530516587383797,4.000320634920636,1996,89,330,47,28,635,261,450,0.183,0.701,0.116,-0.9849,0,1,0,0,0,1,90.0,0,1,0,6,17,28,5,6,23,0,21,20,11,8,2,63,48,34,0,8,2,0,6,1,1,4,5,0,0,2,16,28,4,2,11,1,1,4,2,19,0,2,5,9,53,9,62,36,11,56,0,3,3,0,13,24,0,4,27,222,69,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161954542186081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865065852227346,0.0,0.13358963168170304,0.0,0.09049917188124744,0.0,0.05679978214931618,0.08758311866865345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058402537692889236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973978542213323,0.0,0.0,0.0710735204302522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735626064939179,0.09277731162355504,0.0,0.09324138869259356,0.0,0.0,0.08515918114046522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757424687293346,0.0,0.0,0.06668781968104757,0.0,0.0,0.16159991202295285,0.08611048304646397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564004107573544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260705595588127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170335917373968,0.0,0.0,0.1266980659261303,0.0,0.0,0.09149742266594528,0.0763402265466857,0.07104621970785671,0.10099861565480953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043638302099002484,0.08012467514362906,0.04746911376717451,0.07005670598915117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246352615062677,0.0,0.08878304095142052,0.0,0.0,0.05598496600055508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435654719651195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770926798218086,0.0,0.0,0.08844078719294332,0.0907500258061272,0.0,0.11799218482050365,0.04080603704662416,0.08371387188353664,0.0,0.0,0.14027972475405487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417343312523709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614003968192965,0.0,0.06441953610151603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183664775361818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319723977916772,0.06352443452218431,0.0888763605720724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973394837829961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895800861424042,0.09416175162531486,0.07999374600976115,0.0,0.0,0.0799220292582319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354748237027247,0.0,0.05350817648947246,0.0,0.0,0.08967446211023886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362297526407088,0.0,0.1331170296814505,0.07603791318671167,0.3485386610525981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077035922622214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823867901066445,0.0,0.0667030765437575,0.0,0.19135493419253868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884009434189764,0.0,0.0,0.07689848698560184,0.0,0.0,0.055490218453067584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870402883926669,0.0,0.1583436386352379,0.0,0.09279921423862013,0.11341582072546573,0.09085108396177144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891677289816282,0.0,0.06629816146626538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432284277782155,0.08482356937578404,0.0,0.1186673556911804,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bonlom,2018/04/12,"Sleep and Mental Health Doing some research into the correlation between sleep and mental health as part of my research module at university.
 
Was looking for some personal insights from anyone who has had experience with one causing the other i.e. lack of sleep contributing to the development of mental illness or sleep deprivation being a symptom of their mental illness.
 
Apologies if this should be in a different sub, thank you for your time ",14.1804,11.866173706666672,12.410666666666668,50.612000000000016,51.93333333333333,14.266666666666666,49.0,12.45797560212912,6.4326,368,18,47,8,3,116,57,75,0.13,0.84,0.031,-0.7906,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,7,9,4,1,0,12,9,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,4,1,14,4,4,4,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,4,1,42,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337378779898372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518733187348319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446226377895447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461675891728676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31429590555542136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414911296732145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5959553785115492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018081325417376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009727694095746,0.0,0.0,0.12908896270783424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5917906359143573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536632920338441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611202851345236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620721189652925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quirky34,2018/04/12,"Help Create a Documentary on Mental Health We Need Your Help!

We, a small group of film production students at UCA Farnham (UK), need your assistance in creating a documentary on Mental Health. Within our documentary we're investigating into the help the government, doctors and Councillors at educational services provide or the lack thereof while also helping to break the taboo of talking about it in everyday life.

If you have been diagnosed with mental health issues be it as small as low mood or as severe as depression, we would love it if you could film yourself on any device simply stating, “I have [Insert Diagnosis Here]”.

This clip will be used in a greater montage of many other people just the show the scale of how many people mental health effects.

If you wish to help, please send your videos over Google Drive/Dropbox to my email: tome.hall34@gmail.com.

Thank you so much if you choose to pitch in. It'd mean the world to us!
",8.221071428571427,8.967376107142858,7.5381904761904766,70.94014285714289,61.73809523809525,10.291428571428572,34.061904761904756,10.125756701596842,3.486936190476192,758,29,124,15,10,236,109,168,0.057,0.7709999999999999,0.172,0.9606,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,5,8,0,1,6,5,0,0,11,0,9,8,0,3,0,25,16,15,0,10,7,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,15,2,27,9,3,21,0,2,0,1,23,16,0,6,2,83,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525899819521927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100464500332367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510640630817904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259656449703984,0.12090274060640913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192280251553222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5064694576242806,0.0,0.0,0.3992130008946441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432873573819453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413689879501167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750907074245697,0.0,0.0,0.2415348663524981,0.0,0.1297549356583811,0.0,0.0,0.4801736070815492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875657821069688,0.1766496737532984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516349870722866,0.0,0.0,0.13075631051522274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345699664668737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574291483501328,0.0,0.10966828399422612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328485390165058,0.10288011319222698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698036293513846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461834409837553,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Communist_Pants,2018/04/12,"What to expect from a first time ""Psychiatric Consult"" referral from my medical doctor? Already on meds and done CBT. Hello,

My medical doctor wrote me a refferral for a ""Psych Consult"" to a local psychiatric office and I was wondering what to expect/where it goes from here.

The details are as follows, but I can provide more if needed:

- On SSRI, Vyvanse, and Zolpidem (Ambien)
- Diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, ADD
- Seen significant improvement, but still have low energy, low/no sex drive, sometimes feeling like ""nothing really matters""/ no motivation, and some brief periods of sadness.
- Already on medication, did CBT (10 weeks 4 years ago), and life is generally functional, but not great.
- About 4 years ago, I gained 62 pounds (5'10"" and went from ~190 to 250) and started binge eating 2 or 3 days a week. The other 4-5 days I eat very healthy, but the binge days are bad. This never happened before until about 4 years ago.
- Main doctor wants me to go to the consult to just see what she says. No explicit goals or other instructions.
- I don't have the ability to leave work frequently for therapy or frequent visits and would prefer not to do that, but I don't want the Psych to think that I am against treatment, fishing for more meds, or whatever.

So, if I've already done CBT, am on meds, and in a stable, but not amazing situation, then what is the likely outcome or path forward I should expect from the psych or my main doctor?

Thanks",5.702593984962405,7.218866176691733,6.372255639097746,74.3122180451128,67.6842105263158,9.810526315789474,32.79699248120301,10.064110947511567,3.5680180451127823,1137,50,193,28,19,372,158,266,0.122,0.76,0.118,-0.2753,0,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,0,5,6,9,0,0,14,0,18,12,0,1,2,47,33,27,0,10,18,0,1,2,0,2,9,1,0,0,10,11,2,0,5,0,0,7,8,4,0,1,7,4,14,5,30,24,5,35,0,3,2,1,8,8,0,10,24,126,24,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26755055909110115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330725228078934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696536072908901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400404090548369,0.0,0.0,0.08561057194800026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465281600350895,0.0,0.08665410405258744,0.10211568697364176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119089666347972,0.0,0.20591520950511136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058955822999318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087076885540345,0.07187485727242217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557768726120381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717822833133135,0.0,0.0,0.11092141898129096,0.0,0.0,0.08896791872761876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065300597083761,0.0,0.0,0.07106288225718631,0.09830463298693774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33526067080151034,0.3040579654210013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074600057444982,0.07759561221802375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653673675749902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445249321304829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000805621808248,0.0,0.0,0.08017208784691872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308836564466422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950455178585894,0.0,0.07121133774717593,0.0,0.08034621753689959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262695041585503,0.11505478759505107,0.0,0.0,0.06446597631539794,0.0,0.0,0.058665727261861575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301269317891909,0.118683205978726,0.0,0.16140442036482486,0.0,0.0,0.09326524935559743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910581597904362,0.07324431338862841,0.0,0.0,0.07146951586736458,0.0,0.0,0.1943660636686179
mentalhealth,eliseat,2018/04/12,I suffer from bipolar disorder and I am going through a hard breakup. Maybe because I know he stopped loving me months ago and was only using me for his own needs- but I am having to stop loving him. And it’s one of the hardest things I am having to do. It’s been almost 3 weeks. My best friend is still talking to him. She’s friends with his best friend but he still tags along. I told her it makes me uncomfortable and doesn’t help my situation. She got very angry and blew up in my face. I am still in High school and it’s hard to see him in the hallway or hear his name out loud. I’ve been missing a lot of school because I am crying in class. I know I need to let him go- I just don’t know how. Does anyone have any suggestions?? ,0.9633333333333348,2.794518114649684,2.546777070063694,95.44572823779194,81.22929936305731,5.205774946921443,20.0208067940552,6.079149491110277,-0.1629351167728239,572,15,133,4,15,187,94,157,0.147,0.657,0.196,0.9421,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,0,0,4,0,16,4,1,3,0,26,32,10,0,2,4,0,2,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,5,9,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,5,5,27,7,18,26,4,17,0,2,1,2,23,7,0,3,8,89,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174709086754952,0.0,0.1326995522095054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011808636506154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266100566919017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156582011259515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781429495057635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556690375126655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187930334703614,0.0,0.11596907047684807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071536723323217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506282430061984,0.0,0.10598828178963683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237423628192454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935957523289708,0.0,0.08882530549008094,0.14001456583370228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848843843562132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551059138124782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266369260539873,0.2392087940586301,0.0,0.08845807216256145,0.0,0.1331340663031171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577613167909747,0.0,0.0,0.1965236753399328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979892391038358,0.1007873667809626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682344573550478,0.1056012146838651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895793660123074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174917254251133,0.221585165242462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651448775055354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804034293342583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662845760695424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445465782269655,0.0,0.1093428083176678,0.0,0.0,0.106299482173993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theogmrme01,2018/04/12,"Interesting thought. Do we live inside of the expectations of others? Do we try to exist inside of the opinions of others, looking for acceptance and understanding?

Do we just try to fit in with others, to the point of bending over backwards at times, just to relate?",5.470625000000003,7.825428145833335,6.298333333333333,71.28,69.625,8.133333333333335,30.75,8.841846274778883,2.92765,213,9,33,4,4,70,30,48,0.0,0.8370000000000001,0.163,0.8290000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,12,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,14,5,0,8,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,1,1,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35246455728356385,0.0,0.3351928840688245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773341111716619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31688752226671746,0.2327527220491373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5420052842939834,0.0,0.0,0.4155384161333253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FrustratedChicken85,2018/04/12,"Why am I scared of the medicine? The real me right now, the one that can lie and create wonderful worlds in a second, the ego that comes up with the quick wit and cheekiness. He will be gone. But perhaps so will his selfishness? Will I become a better person? But why did the humiliation of being on them and then found out I make me want to go off of them? I think I'm so delusional that I'm rarely the real me.


help me

",1.518409090909092,3.2916185681818213,3.315909090909092,90.88136363636366,79.22727272727272,6.672727272727273,18.954545454545453,7.6454224807358475,0.3455636363636363,326,7,74,5,8,109,59,88,0.1,0.7559999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.476,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,1,9,0,8,0,0,1,0,15,18,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,3,0,11,1,10,10,0,13,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,3,53,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568363961997907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567413295275613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032372305387508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25498224054720536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216516654340513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587530013056447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523085984601695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758385674784808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305621352332304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5293922021454242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985988973719528,0.0,0.0,0.2328260120220235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149010501807365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716571973154687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196856237877934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521936891112599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowAwayPink13,2018/04/12,"I need someone to talk to. I'm struggling with so much as well as my mental health. I don't know where to start. I am probably in the wrong sub But I am struggling so much. I have severe anxiety and a lot of stuff going on in my life which is enhancing it. In the last year my Dad, my grandmother and grandfather were all diagnosed with cancer. My partner and love of my life is currently going through ill health, with symptoms relating to cancer, which we are waiting to see specialists about. I am just not coping. With anything. I can't talk to my boyfriend as he is so concerned with his own health, if I told him my worries it would only affect him. ",3.0050034698126282,4.785328320610688,4.09729354614851,86.89841776544071,74.95419847328245,7.511727966689799,27.176266481609996,8.296473431620573,1.8297114503816798,514,20,104,9,11,167,81,131,0.195,0.759,0.046,-0.9643,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,0,12,11,0,1,1,20,22,11,0,3,4,1,0,0,1,1,10,0,0,1,5,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,2,1,20,2,22,19,5,11,0,0,1,1,11,5,0,2,4,79,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937808474057188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841613537239524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838781261339266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737401143560486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976226499059324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576118706598869,0.12720185674651205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22044594346457452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326684206211257,0.14084152654926316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726204161888452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294299139645561,0.11570935151808785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868331722647335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682486624903122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435191891721707,0.0,0.0,0.17629246884926147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322209486389677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104532354755648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262753998939402,0.17864030723063706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219605627170552,0.0,0.25085470813792643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911278947019682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403079986317378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847669748232476,0.0,0.1108536858758238,0.17061655212569232,0.0,0.10049130413787166
mentalhealth,judeytwoshoes,2018/04/12,"Tired of everything Lately I've been feeling kind of tired and when ever I get a message from my friends, I'll simply tell them I'm busy. Lately I want to be alone. No there wasn't anything happening to make me tired or sad. I just feel like I want to sleep in my bed. If I want to sleep I couldn't but if I didn't want to sleep then I'm sleepy. Maybe I'm just lazy. What should I do? I don't want to lose my friends.",-0.6660000000000004,1.0762388736842148,1.2813157894736875,102.7967105263158,86.57894736842104,4.6421052631578945,16.868421052631582,5.6839178017228535,-0.8837578947368425,323,7,86,2,10,106,56,95,0.155,0.643,0.201,0.293,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,6,0,0,1,0,8,6,3,1,1,18,21,7,0,9,6,0,2,1,2,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,14,4,10,15,0,6,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,3,6,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497489123213561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898308767179555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307875559312758,0.0,0.0,0.12994580707892314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621543948981167,0.1032932475841518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22341569018268093,0.0,0.07554093434679904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278581357225828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150565498434063,0.0,0.0,0.32620170723127306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063808666292147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617562854657894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651319367775184,0.0,0.1452574492309321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340753743901567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637573624253035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4985457440203286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264068912434968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Garlicbread1234,2018/04/12,Lost my job Well today I finally lost my job due to severe depression/anxiety :(,2.1020000000000003,4.949599533333338,5.428333333333337,69.5025,87.0,11.0,27.5,10.125756701596842,4.663,63,3,10,3,2,23,12,15,0.476,0.425,0.099,-0.7906,2,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084073598232541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984325394259957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5406872857634148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.594776643354852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077671087573677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25823073920012285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449462949625233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Definitly_An_Alt,2018/04/12,"some general questions It's that time of night again, get bored for a split second and now nothing can distract me from my thoughts. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I know why, but it's stupid and I know it is. I make an effort to constantly distract myself because if I don't I outright break. Every single time. I would be dead if it wasn't for video games, music, youtube, my gf and netflix. She falls asleep, I run out of things to do and I just.. fall apart. I've promised her I won't harm myself or anything like that as much as I want to. It's hard but I can get away with pinching myself sometimes. She agrees that it doesn't technically break the promise and as long as I don't break the skin, leave any marks, or cause myself legitimate pain its fine. So it does nothing but I'm not here to talk about all that shit. I've done it before and I followed the advice, I'm on 50mg of Zoloft per day and at first I was doing fantastic. I felt more like myself. Not quite there but close enough for me. I came here to ask one question because I can't seem to find anything about it at all and it has been on my mind constantly.
___
Everything warps for me. Constantly, but I'm used to it so I don't ever notice until I get like this but when I do it gets worse and worse. The walls look like they are breathing sometimes, patterns on shower curtains and bathroom walls spin and rotate like they are moving. The carpet can move like small spots aren't carpet but just maggots standing up and worming around a bit. It still looks like carpet, and wall, and curtain but it all pulsates and contorts small amounts before returning to its original shape and starting again. Over and over and over until I can fall asleep.
___
Sleep, and her are the only things that can pull me out of this state. I just have one question.

Is the warping normal, or do you all have any idea what it could be.

tl;dr
The passage in the box is the only important one.

Edit: this was all over the place I'm so sorry.
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mentalhealth,Waldronl444,2018/04/12,"I’ve no idea how to cope any more. I’m not sure where to post this, I know the response I’m going to get is, “go to your doctors.” But I just want to vent. 

I’m 26, Male. Since late February, I’ve been feeling the lowest I’ve ever felt. I’ve become miserable. This isn’t my first spout with darkness but this is the most extreme I’ve ever felt it. I’m struggling to control any of my emotions, I’m getting unnecessarily angry at everyone who is close around me. 

In struggling to do things I’d have normally done, I take my son to the football games once a fortnight but i keep getting overwhelmed at the thought and I’ve stopped it. He’s 4, he thinks he’s to blame for being naughty and I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s me. I’ve no motivation for anything.

To distract myself I’m being overwhelmingly impulsive. Doing things out of character. Going away for days, spending recklessly. Generally being a burden to my wife. The thing that worries me most is the switch in my thought patterns. From mid last year I was so happy, I was buzzing, I’d quit smoking, drinking, took up a vegan diet. Not even as a “I’m quitting smoking today.” I literally woke up and went, I don’t need these any more, threw them all in the bin. I woke up one morning late February and just switched back, I started every vice back up in one go. 

My other issue that’s impacting my entire life is day dreaming. I’ve always been described as a day dreamer by mom growing up. But it’s become so intense, so intrusive. At one point last week I sat for over an hour inside my head, just looking at a wall. My wife can see how distracted I am, says she’s worried about me, probably starting to feel neglected. I just can’t get out of my own mind. Having full blown conversations with myself. Recently the daydreams are getting more intense, I’ve an overwhelming desire to self harm and I don’t know why. I’d never do it, I couldn’t do that to my wife and kids. 

I just have no idea how to handle any of this.",1.4776683087027926,3.7020090492610818,3.38049261083744,88.0435303776683,81.66009852216749,6.034154351395731,25.43021346469623,7.2636822038024595,1.265035139573071,1558,64,319,22,42,523,203,406,0.145,0.797,0.057,-0.9879,1,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,1,5,20,13,0,8,17,0,29,5,1,6,5,59,70,19,0,5,11,5,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,19,12,2,4,14,3,1,8,12,11,0,4,15,7,38,2,50,51,8,54,0,5,2,0,20,24,0,2,21,199,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672414987215863,0.0,0.0,0.2508174507428331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587903783721146,0.08208435602156211,0.0,0.0,0.08663212073914375,0.1418039795975331,0.0,0.0,0.2036722060176979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341871799007714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783989147498478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943784350672512,0.0,0.09436043788222716,0.0,0.0903283913812886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372119337303654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060902281980506325,0.1668141935015213,0.07768892046043765,0.08810835929153357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324591488191704,0.0,0.1770676046529909,0.0,0.0,0.0784317784230022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24087345217373324,0.0,0.20961492550808264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815675606358044,0.0,0.0,0.09463164892220004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090805959624098,0.0,0.0,0.2081824224446465,0.0,0.09624082838290886,0.0,0.08195839437263748,0.0,0.0,0.15202473597589347,0.15032308008712988,0.20802848682024974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651289888015271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743120136716476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310343919869137,0.10799248310298312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837080275386911,0.07111622268437112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034391766214203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819813596132347,0.1874468662434685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716603165965163,0.0,0.08830943839183157,0.0,0.09941544020259437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614836776985206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104392854723226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332722276308308,0.0,0.0,0.0734775574213215,0.0,0.09619268677466383,0.0,0.0,0.07627511940783555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305300959196197,0.0,0.0,0.0770897226492968,0.0,0.19279090857320366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690461716077243,0.0,0.06932867603504428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837759927094485,0.0590829377610908,0.0,0.1464051458940756,0.0,0.0,0.08740206890105316,0.0,0.10244608986827307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438645990422168,0.0,0.07396341347662266,0.0,0.0,0.08547741363583758,0.08320306048473823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18728268515021174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059378702270364576
mentalhealth,ompurilegends,2018/04/12,"Alone I relate to many of the posts here. It helps me to see that I am not alone in my feelings, my experience of the world. I wanted to add to the discussion. In addition to everything else, I have gone through all my life and when I look back now, i have no true friend. I have no family. There are people out there, but they are aliens to me. I'm always a fringe friend. Nobody is out there for me in this world I can lean on, spend time with, chill with, laugh with. Crazy, right? What a life, I think.

I have a beautiful wife, no doubt, who is my world, but what I mean is, outside of her, there is no one else out there. I kind of wish I could show her a world of friendship and family connected to me, and not just be this hermit who is alone and lonely.

Throwing that out there.",2.089966965549788,3.374879478527607,3.126993865030677,94.97594620103823,76.30061349693251,6.978574799433696,19.28692779613025,7.61054688173877,0.15756573855592304,597,11,144,8,13,191,87,163,0.112,0.715,0.173,0.9168,0,5,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,0,11,7,0,1,7,0,15,2,0,0,2,27,24,7,0,3,5,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,9,13,0,0,3,1,1,2,6,2,0,1,1,3,24,5,25,21,1,20,0,1,2,0,10,13,0,1,4,105,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5295989136359742,0.0,0.0,0.14182658925793346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106417472875587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608904942477046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847752646614327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318788674040362,0.16673108429611455,0.3213668606441137,0.0,0.0861837510873276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633757734325909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424786177645732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749561174468026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407852640643106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313359236104414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280776154205096,0.0,0.18566810099734307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550013805169253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181673475596515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632422968161419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556186488111006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582517855765186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921634921933496,0.0,0.0,0.09938973892973273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053478758489497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960070630920253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Taurus509,2018/04/12,I’m drowning It’s almost 1 am and my anxiety won’t even allow me to turn the light off. I’m terrified of that someone is hiding here. I’m a 17yo girl and I can’t even get a nights sleep my therapist is wonderful but nothing eases this night fear I need help ! ,-0.9280263157894736,1.1934278421052649,2.094013157894736,92.73996710526316,95.14035087719299,5.6570175438596495,19.40570175438597,7.1686216300943375,0.6280543859649121,205,7,46,4,8,72,45,57,0.21600000000000005,0.657,0.127,-0.6292,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,5,1,1,1,0,7,12,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,11,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523887852281773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281535896352325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329494948284142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28362308628127314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316842187366489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894187340413208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688974778646394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730583009814181,0.0,0.2418460119557299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25222914809326064,0.0,0.2135587091192094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29264613595665706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27415489231779805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733343529312711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aabd1713,2018/04/12,"Mental Deterioration In the past few days, I have been feeling a burgeoning amount of hatred that is warping my beliefs. I am normally a very empathetic and kind person that punishes himself for his constant mistakes and apologizes constantly. 

I hurt myself before hurting another person, and I am overly sensitive to criticism. But talking with the person I felt hurt me and reconciling was easy enough. All it took was one conversation and everything would be good.

But that hatred seemed to warp me into a completely different person. I have a very hard time empathizing, and I can't be affected by criticism or even emotions. When my girlfriend or best friend cried, I would feel all their feelings and comfort them genuinely. 

But even when my best friend was crying on me, I couldn't feel anything. Even she noted that she said ""It didn't feel normal, it didn't feel like you were really there. I feel like you don't really care about me."" 

I have a history of mental illness, my psychiatrist thinks I am bipolar but I suspect otherwise. I am supposed to be on lithium, but I stopped taking it two days ago. These changes happened before lithium, and have been present in the past without lithium so it isn't medication. 

That and my willpower feels boosted, I went back to the gym and train much better and more consistently. I shower regularly, do all my work, and meditate before sleeping. I have much better impulse control and I am much calmer. I don't feel fazed by anything, anxiety, fear, sadness, even my usual depression. Other things I have been doing, the one I find slightly disturbing is I made a list of all the people I have ever known. 

Each day I write out what they have done to make me hate them, and I conclude that they are worthless to me. So far I have done 10 people, and I no longer feel the slightest bit of attachment. When I write out the thoughts, it feels like someone is telling me these. 

When I hesitate he mocks me and laughs about my weakness, and tells me the truth. Although the truth is painful to swallow, it feels like he is my darker self and he is gradually taking control. 

He has had his moments throughout my life, where he took complete control and caused havoc without any mind to the consequences. When I was younger he would make me steal money and cause my parents stress. 

But as I grew older he grew calmer and more scheming. To the extent where he never consciously manifested and took control, but rather suggested to me what seemed to be rational decisions. But as of late he seems ambitious since I am dealing with very traumatic repressed memories. He appeared smirking in my mirror mocking me, he appeared in my dreams hunting me down. He corned me in every part of my life, slowly breaking me. 

Hahaha, I can feel him right now slowly killing me. I wonder how much longer I have left until I am nothing more than a calloused unemotional monster. When my best friend told me I was fake, it deeply disturbed me. What the hell is going on with me?",5.426799417608769,7.2285094514388515,5.659907502569372,78.06236211031177,68.69424460431654,8.532648167180541,32.662555669749906,9.04235418022936,3.000765638917438,2389,108,412,45,42,758,268,556,0.206,0.675,0.119,-0.9954,4,0,0,0,0,2,65.0,0,2,5,12,22,41,6,5,20,0,55,9,1,12,8,103,92,45,1,8,13,1,15,4,4,3,7,1,1,5,21,29,1,6,28,2,1,9,11,22,0,3,23,16,86,19,44,61,21,54,2,6,0,0,46,18,1,8,30,302,107,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343621364941868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04099371811265077,0.06321076494080963,0.04611544233167295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921363536852518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04635301371301778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388621671816888,0.0,0.18978621484822855,0.10662877683292044,0.06581215603546517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146135309461614,0.12385210942985404,0.06377019326034555,0.0,0.1264087239207815,0.13028650628610594,0.27044483613407194,0.0,0.0,0.1324335404712788,0.11663039874137696,0.062147929709857774,0.05192066015653148,0.0,0.0,0.06298169209608016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337850273413142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780895588962117,0.0,0.062287254707323915,0.0,0.15926234622236773,0.054528375161599016,0.0507900498374287,0.0,0.054177430479697856,0.0,0.0,0.06783382895244104,0.39624402210101706,0.17226143315616946,0.05788001951642041,0.0,0.0550965093401931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972079932822812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034259558667203954,0.05056154704379778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053307031716435804,0.0,0.05400068776414712,0.05951583646407872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935988683638772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669292407234556,0.0627742595734402,0.0,0.0,0.06800054081447746,0.0,0.06549639515927172,0.0,0.08515769217762308,0.11780264759369916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057040134228353134,0.08047719212170129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060727611473657316,0.12149983184932238,0.0,0.06086747362316106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725635303306825,0.0,0.04649307099367228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812680761616287,0.05784205095196509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169706930281254,0.0,0.06414412757063202,0.0,0.0669358490537772,0.06527935791583353,0.1150916739517112,0.08358367484019573,0.2105431088049336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723618016580046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148036168457384,0.05734183390713363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646349683625219,0.06288710573304086,0.0,0.0,0.049865760691739806,0.0,0.06032537447113968,0.0,0.05107660711134807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039831718739374,0.06905264364511482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906488824947951,0.04845225927314445,0.1053779697630712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04004857566697287,0.038626168772104924,0.0,0.0478570471332704,0.03515082547215983,0.0,0.0,0.05760188110465416,0.20092602571465734,0.0,0.0,0.05888659804170247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639192981754509,0.14921649280242189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055881869291123897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116219084515417,0.065373083646577,0.043885897216612124,0.0,0.0,0.1284674679452924,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LookingForAliBaba,2018/04/12,"What does it mean if I think that inanimate objects feel uncomfortable? I've done it for quite a few years now, but never questioned it. I always pick things up and put them back down in different ways, because I feel like the object is uncomfortable. 

It's not like I'm personifying the object, it's more that if something is placed in the wrong way, It rides on my mind that it needs to be picked up and put down better, I guess?",5.7909302325581375,5.724927860465119,6.073813953488372,82.15141860465117,66.90697674418604,9.205581395348837,27.66511627906977,8.841846274778883,1.7454911627906975,340,9,72,5,5,109,59,86,0.102,0.765,0.133,0.4222,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,2,1,17,11,5,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,2,6,3,9,9,2,17,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,4,6,46,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164811775612289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230514580676374,0.0,0.12074285598212987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517859252130946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694308804254186,0.0,0.0,0.17333414660612306,0.20269643053505249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030231453705294,0.14150268015024595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819864465364705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353595355486392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157584805503754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999626135336665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686788215546911,0.1527653412254144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694308804254186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982341463270805,0.2218859768239711,0.2106739587826472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248550658886018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159023907432582,0.1269165431877827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144406766000696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165606439117544,0.0,0.12755187735593873
mentalhealth,Business_Burd,2018/04/12,"Unhinged ball of stress. I don't even know where to begin.

I want a psychiatrist so they can put a name to what's wrong with me. Every other day I see something else that *might* match and get even more frustrated and confused.

I'm seeing a therapist, not one that can diagnose. I'm too anxious to even begin and say I need an ACTUAL professional for this. I'm to anxious to say, ""this isn't working"". I can't even fucking speak to her about my problems and I have no idea why.

I don't even think my family could afford a real psychiatrist. I don't make any money, I can't even think about getting a job without nearly breaking down in tears. 

I pick up bad habits left and right, they started off eccentric. Won't walk on grass, keep my room clean (basically sterile at this point). Then i couldn't eat spaghetti from an obsession with worms, then fruit (same reason). I started worrying about being fat and counting calories. And on more than one occasion tried to make myself vomit, only succeeding once and giving up the other times. 

I started cutting myself at the end of January, and It's been almost 10 days, but I keep thinking about it. I don't even admit it's a problem because it's only been three months. I've dealt with worse for years. I know it's completely illogical to do so, but I'm rationalizing everything too.

I can't talk to my ONE FRIEND because he's got fucking ""Defcon 1"" if i mention it, where he'll spam my fucking phone with pictures of worms.

Suicidal thought have even gotten more realistic. For the most part they used to be just ""shotgun to the head"" quick, painless. More a goddamn fantasy than a wish. Except for the one time I sat in the closet with my dad's shotgun trying to find the trigger key. Then I started cutting and they became bleeding out.

I'm alone far longer than I'd need to bleed out. I lie to myself that it scares me. But I know I'm not scared, I'm too anxious to leave my projects unfinished for some idiot to ruin when I'm dead.

I can't remember the last time I felt anyone's kind words to me were genuine. In fact, they sort of piss me off.",3.0735714285714306,4.833003976190478,4.373809523809527,85.07785714285716,74.71428571428572,7.180952380952381,26.523809523809533,7.957251820313856,1.6054238095238098,1650,61,329,25,35,544,218,420,0.182,0.7559999999999999,0.062,-0.9928,2,1,1,2,0,1,56.0,0,0,5,2,22,21,8,5,18,0,23,12,3,6,1,65,67,20,2,9,9,1,1,0,1,3,5,3,3,0,16,17,3,2,13,2,1,2,15,18,0,5,8,7,44,3,56,52,8,45,0,1,2,3,19,22,4,7,20,208,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.08013182378297946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222572510669507,0.08504576941114594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584061794644223,0.0,0.0,0.2782977476501716,0.0,0.057416308144248425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856210650926038,0.10011237031336707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860954017169195,0.0,0.0,0.06556167857653376,0.0,0.0,0.10591400889215116,0.0,0.0,0.08334440261547088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402354631557127,0.06859605694652562,0.0,0.07272899874029642,0.0,0.0,0.43388637274708414,0.0,0.06918493610798808,0.0,0.07379914133241616,0.0,0.07741016235970613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884271555137691,0.0,0.07505108757868086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344139324809836,0.22774036016698934,0.08580278526195585,0.07877162910618754,0.0,0.0,0.06567439887970737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427307968335082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926971794065132,0.0,0.0,0.08148588631329329,0.1459741297620875,0.0,0.08550952699822334,0.13538380483330367,0.06693420779788156,0.0,0.08694730897983212,0.08921755203828241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962401913193437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711041776174502,0.0,0.0,0.06554294254560444,0.0,0.0,0.1217735963415044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744917193008729,0.22257141066082115,0.1249034254776551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892190933132722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762466379270741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571448105058281,0.0,0.08254766711503174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346418127467446,0.0,0.08442729464034347,0.0,0.0,0.09301962481847237,0.0701252616479746,0.0,0.1306013570988815,0.16442170855480956,0.0,0.13086911455164052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321568832736857,0.0,0.0,0.2324840219904265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940617848174334,0.0,0.0,0.08981984217755817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600045624743332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534116465180456,0.0,0.15784680427455156,0.0,0.06518967315114388,0.1436447270017604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150059515306014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092048974250996,0.0,0.0,0.0484332094114934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409548735533107,0.0,0.0944275246501261,0.07915536569135855,0.0,0.059780272015711684,0.0833911742463209,0.08368160400059746,0.0,0.08977922214215105,0.0,0.05287899096039615
mentalhealth,shecagox,2018/04/12,"Is there a term for always feeling like the biggest inconvenience to people, especially when you feel like you’re having a difficult time? I (24f, CA, USA) am a single mom to a 6 year old boy, living at home with my own mother and siblings. I’ve been feeling out of whack for at least 5 months. Having what feels like really low points, but then it will rocket up and feel like the first good day in a while only for a little while and then get stuck back in feeling pretty crappy, unmotivated, or as my mother puts it: lazy. 

When ever I am in a low point, my brain and heart race. I need to talk to someone, but who? Suddenly I find myself starting to text people but never sending it off because sometimes it’s like my brain says they do not love me or care about me. But most importantly, I always come back to feeling like an inconvenient piece of crap. And that feeling alone can cripple me from the inside. Anyways. I’ll save you from the details, I was just curious if anyone one ever felt this way and was able to find relief. ",5.698934959349593,5.671157458536588,6.383719512195125,79.72175813008131,67.09756097560975,8.589430894308942,28.30284552845529,8.07648339933343,1.7497723577235762,809,23,159,9,12,266,133,205,0.147,0.645,0.208,0.9146,0,1,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,2,1,1,10,15,1,0,12,0,11,5,4,0,3,35,27,20,0,2,9,3,9,6,0,1,0,1,1,1,8,9,0,0,11,0,0,3,2,4,0,2,5,10,17,11,25,21,6,38,0,2,0,1,12,14,1,4,26,108,25,0,0.10826486626828294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212975047863856,0.0,0.0,0.18017008330564135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570131177830743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649799873787893,0.0,0.06599725759898711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417187921928185,0.0,0.0,0.11038324663561024,0.0,0.0,0.09326059586372308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982188221412433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19586353964046127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4379357550439827,0.3867222104720224,0.1039512498157908,0.0,0.1979042527715675,0.0920900399406689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056563924157610135,0.0,0.0,0.09080743323404697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282943878029225,0.0,0.0,0.10859848824471624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31735646993432953,0.1085098382017136,0.09559986041919287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771326874971717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679850287991282,0.08641598334826968,0.0,0.0,0.08027702651879247,0.0835005391833949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360576503778876,0.0,0.0733630753001503,0.08234030939874812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501144529049454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046905858417399,0.0,0.0,0.11014429091684752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883609355633801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935724561180219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609656709008444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173246985634574,0.0,0.10707672106479414,0.0,0.07663042958089923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701919850619977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313011416402729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593561152904132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971902427370269
mentalhealth,Starlighttears,2018/04/12,"Is something wrong with me? I don't see the point in friends. I treat my friends the same as stranger. I don't put them on a higher pedestal then others. I call out shit they say. I can go on not talking to them for weeks. 
I don't give a shit about people. Not in the sense I can stab them and not feel remorse, but I could give less shits about if they stopped talking to me, moved, or even died. I wouldn't lose a bit of sleep. And I wish I could care for my friends because I do have many good friends that I really enjoy talking to. But I just subconsciously don't feel anything for them or people in general.

Side note: I do very much love my family, however, more than most people Without them, I really wouldn't have much to live for.",2.079115884115886,3.6555575909090936,2.898831168831169,95.37868631368632,76.98701298701299,6.2969030969030975,23.534465534465536,7.010146845296331,0.5302223776223776,575,18,134,6,13,181,86,154,0.117,0.642,0.241,0.9726,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,7,1,4,14,3,0,6,0,15,5,4,0,0,25,24,9,1,6,10,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,10,5,0,0,0,4,28,9,21,20,7,14,0,1,1,1,19,8,3,4,3,91,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349616008934186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666686635990848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373058332470314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284229566958474,0.0,0.1282286253408661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008306639439246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052709096630766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306842713508454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185626622155402,0.0,0.1271839286497032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886714740736835,0.0,0.0,0.2412958136035663,0.07147672303793029,0.10548803998104064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110552466788658,0.0,0.0,0.1407019665030347,0.0,0.0,0.113510324358377,0.0,0.0,0.1275087805809767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367123775209422,0.18490756660836224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615746119971549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889119609494875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643134795871158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611401101761233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001558009046277,0.0,0.0,0.10022063092267552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38729643128843066,0.0,0.0,0.12585859978869915,0.0,0.0,0.0968221751952042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514748873953028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032621129422606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377158320820133,0.0,0.0,0.10088332034933513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462673075040686,0.1212356439895178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750731511647754,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PFSGTA,2018/04/12,"Are mental health disorders genetic? My mom has generalized anxiety and my sister (28) also suffers from it. A lot of the ways that they think and the things that they do are extremely similar. My dad and myself (male 26) do not suffer from it. I'm not sure when my sister started to experience anxiety, but I would say it has become more apparent over the years starting in high school and getting much worse in the years after college. 

1. Are mental health disorders generic?

2. Or are they passed on through the way that person was raised/experiences life? 

3. Can a person ""control"" GAD?

4. Suggestions for discussing therapy with my sister?

Thanks in advance!",3.7523846153846137,6.669256700000003,4.72666666666667,77.61576923076926,77.83333333333334,8.025641025641027,28.39743589743589,8.841846274778883,2.9070512820512824,524,23,86,13,13,170,84,120,0.093,0.861,0.046,-0.5938,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,2,2,4,0,0,7,0,11,3,0,1,1,15,17,8,0,1,4,5,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,7,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,1,10,2,13,15,3,16,0,2,0,0,14,6,0,2,6,61,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059698177397996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23072752944459204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654989585910046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913821525193606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456662538161536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950282411325175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878826308047415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205927477056872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933148686112786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651651017478836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820718723938904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30394759990487696,0.0,0.0,0.17661847108195625,0.0,0.0,0.11085744369405301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633504574604389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992447623184616,0.0,0.1526205315257287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134780617047178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212989804356455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883899995390772,0.17245619744458154,0.0,0.10018671028846488,0.09662837481422801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394005603382665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368098391832655,0.1071260153299439,0.0,0.0,0.1942241776183916
mentalhealth,3arthchild,2018/04/12,"How does someone be happy? What does that feel like? I’m at a stage in life where I keep bitching about things and have no real source of happiness, even though there are things that I tell myself will make me happy. I’m trying to do something about it (find a new job, save money to move out, lose weight) but I feel like I’m even more stuck. The “high” and giddiness that I feel are more part of the hypo- manic stages of my bipolar disorder than me finding happiness for a solid day or being content in life; or so I think. I don’t even remember what being “happy” feels like. Someone help me out? ",2.798264462809918,4.447275479338845,3.757099173553719,89.67746694214877,75.19834710743801,6.4928925619834725,22.01735537190083,7.1686216300943375,0.6125828099173547,467,12,97,5,10,150,78,121,0.084,0.6729999999999999,0.243,0.9712,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,10,11,1,0,5,0,9,4,0,2,0,20,20,8,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,4,1,1,8,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,5,11,9,14,15,3,12,0,1,0,0,2,7,1,2,5,64,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528470892771127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378894089207302,0.0,0.2043119605293929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313079942514479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360998071236055,0.25018748960661297,0.0,0.0,0.21338817564058304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6213352939868138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824531245563335,0.12333741371957647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584192302756788,0.10375983295377944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490740332880813,0.1710931351869143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059711044456726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792182033480867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407131068488465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274382647309986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641311817631334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328705004376838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223851032122644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781913845221455,0.08986865373469102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203192992503413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510769377080896,0.07479936374346577,0.11469198839007168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925570884501543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215233120035234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seven_N_A7,2018/04/12,"My Girlfriends good friend committed suicide. How do I help her deal with this? My girlfriend has had problems with depression up to about a year ago, and has anxiety and ADHD as well. A good friend of her committed suicide yesterday. I don't want her to have a serious decrease in her mental stability that she has worked so hard to developed over the last year. Any advice in how to help her is welcome. 

(I did not know her friend well so I cant do much that requires information about hwr)",3.2331461988304087,5.596419378947368,4.1771929824561465,83.91479532163747,76.26315789473685,8.011695906432749,28.450292397660817,8.841846274778883,2.4624152046783627,391,17,75,9,9,126,62,95,0.17800000000000002,0.555,0.267,0.8661,0,0,0,0,0,2,9.0,0,0,0,2,8,11,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,2,2,14,13,7,2,2,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,1,13,8,14,11,1,9,0,1,0,0,17,4,0,0,5,55,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164890724240869,0.17602730724833107,0.15968014230884006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249900011521045,0.0,0.1378039327873814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857128262376022,0.15515130725685428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175190492838944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30217990669316713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613669254997459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414834035286741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098998311824909,0.14683529356011754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153522784647186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242105748343122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236630671531314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39408019688499546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624917745303268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239287019053472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114152059641648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320040056133544
mentalhealth,L30S,2018/04/12,"I don't know what's wrong with me. Sorry for the mouthful

For a long time i've had very extreme mood swings for little to no reason, nothing can happen and i'll get EXTREMELY angry for anywhere from a couple seconds, hours, or days. It's like spinning a wheel that spins tens of hundreds of times a day on random emotions, and when it lands on one that emotion is at 100%. They've only gotten worse. Recently i've been having hallucinations, i'll see shadowy figures moving and i feel them behind me, and i hear voices call my name, and it's all random. I'm extremely delusional and i know it but can't shake it off, same with paranoid, I expect anyone and everyone to betray me and suddenly be awful people. I recently have been feeling like a empty shell of a person that's just putting on masks, I don't feel like I have emotions sometimes though, and usually then I heavily lack empathy, a lot of times I don't feel bad at all when people talk to me about their problems (if anything I get kinda annoyed sometimes) I don't know what's wrong with me, anytime I try getting help i get brushed off. I don't know what to do.",4.623935389133624,5.323152127753307,5.6468017621145385,81.53193538913365,69.57268722466961,7.991659324522763,30.111306901615272,8.021203637495839,2.057892452276065,891,34,172,11,15,295,129,227,0.14,0.752,0.108,-0.7949,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,0,5,10,1,1,8,1,16,1,1,1,2,37,33,16,0,4,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,11,12,0,0,10,0,0,3,7,6,0,3,4,8,23,3,25,28,5,26,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,6,17,109,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191661356989023,0.0,0.0964075395212438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781847293884824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962705923004475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962837646784114,0.0,0.1511089308678475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953465410600312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194541170611444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369457884655571,0.16738929949802098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448319590965549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359865854875946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204077075308854,0.0,0.0785256772523652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537282747319585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575385097044561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170618778474364,0.11741881713400112,0.0,0.10367736645453904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995999137270534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451587696890512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124121657759645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793864009551188,0.08910069254804215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243929386430558,0.1022941201964894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210029983449096,0.0,0.11777185901903665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045354871004675,0.2313503541891816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335635668203728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23173607367551965,0.13114401176974566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416373230188316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510294714277634,0.0,0.2049398502528817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953969404493103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902828475141626,0.0966640984621126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938966191632787,0.0,0.2561784302936111,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burner_account__,2018/04/12,"Somethings wrong, someone care. My mind is a valuable thing but I fear I am losing my grip on it. I’m writing this at 2:00 on my bathroom floor, a fact I am not happy about but I can’t sleep. I suppose a good place to start would be an introduction - I’m a nineteen years old and live somewhere in the patriotic shit-show that is England. I feel my local GP (doctor if they're called something different in your country) has failed me so I’m turning to the internet for help because when has the internet ever been wrong? Please don’t answer that.

Regardless, I hope that some anonymous someone might have some guidance for me. I am aware that its probably normal at my age to question your mental health but I truly believe something is severely wrong. My symptoms are as follows:

1. The first symptom I mention should be the one my GP diagnosed me with. Depression. I’ve been prescribed 50mg of Sertraline for daily consumption. This hasn’t changed anything in my mind, I don’t feel any different, but I keep taking it because it seems to have made me more outgoing, there is a tangible change in the way I interact with people (People noticed I was more talkative and even mentioned it). Despite the fact I don’t feel any different they clearly have some kind of effect.

2. “not feeling anything different” is a running theme. I genuinely feel like I don’t feel anything. Not happy or sad. I believe my GP picked up on the lack of happiness more than the lack of sadness. I don’t really feel any difference in my mind when I am doing I should instinctively enjoy (Sex, eating, partys, family/friends interactions) compared to when I’m dealing with things that should subjectively make me feel sad. An example of this would be a few months ago - My ex came to my flat and was crying on my shoulder saying she missed me, and I knew I missed her but I didn’t feel anything. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t even be sad. I just was. I feel exactly the same as I did then as I do while I write this. This also happens on a smaller level. A sad film for example doesn’t make me feel particularly different to a happy film. I should mention my brain certainly does react to things, but I feel almost as if my reaction is adrenaline based, I feel a buzz instead of an emotion? (Sounds pretty ridiculous, Probably why the GP didn’t really look into it).

3. Lets talk about the adrenaline feeling. Sometimes, often in the early hours of the morning it builds up and spirals. I can’t sleep or calm down. its happened in front of people before and I’ve felt the need to leave because of it as people have noticed me acting kind of irrationally. It makes me say and do stupid things, getting worked up over something or doing something very reckless without thinking… Heres something I’ve never admitted to anyone before - recently it made me cut myself. It wasn’t an act of self-hate, or at least not entirely. I don’t really remember the logic behind it but I kind of felt an act of defiance, evidence to myself that I exist almost? I didn’t feel any relief after either. Its happened a few times. This alone doesn’t scare me - but what terrifies me is when I went to get more sertraline (which I knew wasn’t working the way I wanted it to) I simply lied to the GP, said it was fine, and when he specifically asked me if I’d self harmed I said no despite being fully aware in that moment that I had… I don’t know why.

4. I really believe I could ignore or overcome all these symptoms - but this is the real issue - I have this weird visual distortion which is always present from when I wake up till when I go to sleep. I’ve mentioned this to the GP but it’s gone completely ignored. I have no idea how to even put it into words. It persists like a fog, almost like television static. It’s almost like a bright light has flashed my eyes and my vision is just before the point of becoming normal. There are two key details here - First, my vision is 20/20 (I had a full eye test recently). Secondly certain drugs have made this go away briefly.


Drugs are naturally something to consider as a cause for these symptoms but all four of them have persisted since birth (to my knowledge) but certainly predate any drug use, and intact even the use of alcohol. I feel mentioning how every drug I’ve ever tried has effected me may help:

Ketamine - I should preface this by saying Ket is the only drug I take which I’m unable to be certain of purity, so its possible other compounds cause these effects. Still - I at first experience the effects of Ketamine expected but when the ket wares off I briefly experience this new feeling - The visual haze clears and my thought pattern seems calmer. Very hard to describe. My GP ignored this (understandably) but PLEASE don’t because this is the most normal I’ve felt. (I understand use of the word “Normal” when talking about drugs seems like a slippery slope, I am referencing the after-effect I experience NOT the actual drug effect).

Cocaine/MDMA/Amphetamines/Adderall - Effects as expected. I do feel some euphoria from MDMA (may contradict point 2?) but my thoughts and speech do become slightly more disjointed (not by much though, hardly noticeable, just something I feel)

Weed  - VERY paranoid, feel VERY distant from myself but also feel very sensitive to anything… 

Acid - Attempted use on multiple occasions, causes complete blackout (Not like an alcohol blackout when the memory is just fuzzy or missing, literally no recallection) disjointed, incomprehensible speech even on relatively low dosages, large pupils and strange actions like throwing glasses at people. Not sure what is normal/abnormal when it comes to psychedelics. I firmly believe I’m done with them.

Xanax - Tried considerable dosages on several occasions and felt very little effect.

Since starting my Sertraline I’ve cut drugs from my life almost completely - I believe any drug use is a symptom of being so lost rather than a cause of these problems as I’ve experience no change after usage stopped.

Quite a big read, I know. If you’ve made it this far you have no idea how much I appreciate it, even if you’ve got no answers its nice to just get it out there. I’m considering getting a therapist even though I don’t have the money (I know the NHS has some therapists but the waiting times are too long and I’m sure theres people who need it more than me). The one thing I’m yet to mention is all this doesn’t make me suicidal as such but I’m completely impartial to my life. I’ve always said I’d never end my life, but I also always said I’d never self harm. Maybe I’ve got BPD and I’m imagining all this but I really don’t think so. I probably need some kind of therapist but I’m not sure which kind to get as I have no idea whats wrong with me. I’ve looked online and I can make my symptoms fit most mental disorders, but I’m no psychologist. 

To end it on a brighter note I’ve never actually posted anything on Reddit, needless to say I’m probably not going to use this account if I make any future posts haha.

Thanks guys, from a very worried anon.",4.548094177537387,6.315826991091317,5.40928242655637,79.12981291759469,70.84855233853007,8.457337999787889,30.27474811750981,9.029198982220553,2.6945770834659037,5595,235,1008,112,105,1826,506,1347,0.14300000000000002,0.75,0.107,-0.9934,5,1,20,0,0,2,161.0,0,3,3,19,53,65,4,2,64,1,100,34,8,32,22,240,212,87,1,32,52,1,28,7,0,10,24,11,0,3,72,27,3,6,57,3,2,16,46,30,0,8,36,46,130,35,124,155,28,115,0,13,5,1,41,46,0,34,56,651,202,6,0.0,0.0,0.05836609719208422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02650905302547989,0.06391888119282019,0.14972811165089026,0.030972648623784786,0.0,0.07174525577223022,0.07465027781106258,0.0,0.0,0.14235538056693128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02091033039902975,0.0,0.12304668225980644,0.0,0.027957217102834424,0.0,0.028096811287860044,0.0,0.0,0.07291944772984238,0.06605563257873409,0.07634107284689337,0.16846394742816295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03766440703043125,0.033383964489335415,0.030536434847008645,0.03420344984423665,0.03049022670079557,0.1228830379986796,0.09490684233399037,0.025760582305783108,0.12541964845354273,0.0,0.0,0.02387677656156721,0.0,0.0656986621420801,0.0,0.030830828975105345,0.02575720544568164,0.030353031254132155,0.0,0.1874666898777473,0.034273817673629685,0.030609121156259005,0.026170140958717843,0.030603284250651487,0.0,0.0,0.3121236338888837,0.030600367239612826,0.0,0.03363919493012114,0.052974057106893895,0.0,0.0,0.13826418382058722,0.05410172202827153,0.0251963234734505,0.0,0.0,0.11701164384447668,0.0,0.03365153415283485,0.3175390945091075,0.02136419833065649,0.11485428339238565,0.0,0.0,0.07631174875510012,0.0,0.0,0.023104594089534816,0.0,0.07812086178011363,0.0,0.050987246025523486,0.02508296602801896,0.04783565588655548,0.0,0.0,0.029610735309801225,0.079334902338312,0.12733807406382974,0.05357816348081512,0.0,0.0,0.03178770638164968,0.0,0.0,0.04008949551493847,0.0,0.0,0.02970249656790385,0.029450484296161494,0.0,0.0,0.1012776009689764,0.0,0.0312131386163806,0.0,0.026581013144972274,0.0,0.15570771785826826,0.04930515704057372,0.0,0.0,0.0316651665151853,0.0,0.030579975016307957,0.06336853670830762,0.10227079600287538,0.029972751000508783,0.02640673748587908,0.026465058710172948,0.05022547835707114,0.03345614011318618,0.03264493235696907,0.0,0.0,0.11318765605364732,0.11977125665896356,0.0,0.03004367688068545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027458281778196,0.03172456877616337,0.09058683104248698,0.0,0.02386995312394537,0.0,0.04396735603765882,0.06652272365671105,0.09225857897602499,0.028882516944981063,0.0,0.0,0.1465031667181751,0.0,0.10214141068364743,0.03138035558923335,0.0,0.0405289183919962,0.022744164324765868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439452107928248,0.0,0.031244448312957886,0.06565360487011447,0.05653994202975277,0.033713489434149015,0.057281608813509875,0.030424221992122906,0.1289709562060727,0.028615127081267688,0.0,0.030062869746134063,0.03350053872213196,0.03180773843829702,0.029913177224526938,0.03403853319893448,0.0957898144193735,0.0,0.05905532630326513,0.0,0.03387663107250634,0.0,0.11378633415872665,0.09512689393537213,0.02994020655260862,0.0,0.0,0.08167339727330729,0.09359257552004398,0.06756846664599107,0.030697139475169194,0.049475589831488816,0.0,0.08978004473496802,0.0,0.05067696207517723,0.18417916052790034,0.029576893225662614,0.0,0.04233394543673817,0.0,0.0238822390988596,0.025001989689628943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032711308633827416,0.0,0.08455556464197254,0.1864969993870264,0.044969803596500914,0.04807314824747352,0.0,0.02753258391801357,0.0,0.10416632406017401,0.09933804656482027,0.019161970622931745,0.05876318733815882,0.04748259329981763,0.03487579050582717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060717868660975,0.032528144457358625,0.029212922162096217,0.062264495214494536,0.0,0.1549703476773023,0.0,0.17272378629150878,0.01763879364265909,0.047474528192517976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027722312922847884,0.053969374616863394,0.0,0.0,0.028827434277105025,0.0,0.043542515344314164,0.030370064920802582,0.0,0.04248742799722355,0.13078606121757916,0.0,0.01925789393095896
mentalhealth,MariaBlanca1995,2018/04/12,"A rage of emotions and doubt makes me want to stop existing (rant) The title of this text is dramatic, I know. But the rules of this sub says that this is a place to vent, and i need to vent. Honestly, I kind of care if someone reads this just to get some feed back, but it just feels good to get this out there, so read--dont read--your choice. 

An interaction happened to me yesterday that spurred a tolerable  nervous breakdown. 

I briefly chit-chatted with a girl who i once tripped acid with. During the trip, she began having a terrible time, and i was too fucked up to know what to do. In retrospect i realized that i had treated her horribly. Seeing her again, and the fact that she left so quickly made me feel like she left because she didn't want to talk to me. And then i remembered the night we had tripping. and then I began to realize that its very possible that I am a truly bad fucking person. People tolerate me, as I would tolerate someone who is just rotten to the core, but I would still be nice to them because they are a person and theres no reason to be outwardly awful to them. 

so heres the viscious loop. 

""you will never know how terrible of a person you are, you dont have any proof, people lie to you because they're just being nice. people are generally nice to other peoples faces. But really deep down they realize youre a piece of shit who doesnt treat people the way they should be treated. The way you would want to be treated. ""

Then i fully convince myself that this is a fact, and it is true. 

""you're horrible at relating to people, you suck. Humans need people, were social beings, but you can figure this shit out- so youre gonna face some really fucked up consequences because youll never really connect to anyone beyond a superficial level. 

AND THEN TO MAKE IT ALL WORSE ILL HAVE NEGATIVE OPINIONS ABOUT THESE VERY THOUGHT LOOPS, AND IT MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED AT MYSELF FOR BEING THIS WAY, AND THINKING THIS WAY AND THEN I FINALLY JUST GIVE UP AND HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 

This has been a process of mine for years. I'm so tired and afraid of the things i would do to stop myself from being this way. I would never commit to suicide, it would kill my mother. But I can see myself using drugs to get some momentum out of this. I've been using adderall to bring myself to a little above baseline emotionally. ",4.441131752305665,5.6727279695652175,5.212015810276681,82.5226021080369,70.3913043478261,8.27140974967062,27.20026350461133,8.666027191798058,1.9418188405797103,1846,61,357,31,33,599,224,460,0.217,0.7040000000000001,0.079,-0.9979,0,0,1,0,0,1,55.0,1,10,5,0,22,31,9,4,25,1,44,11,4,8,9,81,79,34,2,13,12,1,2,1,0,10,3,1,0,5,32,20,1,2,13,1,0,4,8,17,0,0,11,7,53,14,53,50,5,48,0,0,2,3,36,18,6,6,22,262,85,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051609981278906376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306629291371191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835718934729844,0.06336765536475875,0.18505517122376366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737817959992509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778925399712704,0.0,0.08801202226185675,0.0,0.0,0.17073927933975552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674776866023543,0.05421812017536832,0.0,0.08313729546433603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104861327992983,0.11895320030201345,0.07280367683929463,0.0,0.06365561887292323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711210974713466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396458582631135,0.07903109331238374,0.12512676058877836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491637663687345,0.0,0.0,0.037077586010917235,0.07606492837131608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181198474317302,0.15197790917743803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254769840616644,0.17560055301559466,0.0,0.0,0.07122063090403284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082378548347034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683035431562165,0.19880105545620272,0.0792922452425567,0.0,0.0,0.08555818446268527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22774122564560398,0.0,0.14585738971483034,0.07803085381318664,0.0,0.0,0.08597220575275034,0.0,0.0,0.06035332203287775,0.0,0.0,0.12095411548767698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580656679417965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736356412645945,0.12860813110744565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060608410831910715,0.12690023380568075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301484732321897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100008267452092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05042007252768523,0.04862930075593741,0.0,0.06025072670462666,0.044253937629444434,0.08722807377507548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310947221756171,0.0,0.12523968312859615,0.13429133431520984,0.3012024643954609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734165871878315,0.3234741282742513,0.0,0.0,0.04887273518590034
mentalhealth,idkwhattowriteforuse,2018/04/13,"Bad Teenage Mental Hospital experiences In this I'm talking about Yale Lv2 Mental Hospital in Ct. This was a review I put on their google reviews but it got deleted so I figured why not. If you share any experiences with similar mental hospitals feel free to warn others.

Completely horrific and awful experience staff show no desire to be there and clearly couldn’t care less about the kids. Instead of trying to help the kids resolve or cope with their problems they immediately throw them on brain killing drugs that will make your kid an emotionless zombie. Some of these drugs aren’t even FDA cleared for adolescents and can permanently fuck up your kid since adolescence is one of the most important stages of brain development. Most doctors there don’t have a PhD in psychiatry but are somehow qualified to treat your kid when they have a PhD in another field. The doctors also switch off with other doctors every 6 months and go into another part of the hospital. So, they are not even committed to staying with the kids there. Avoid getting your kid sent here at all costs and remember that your kid has a right to refuse any medication. These medications are not only harmful to them but also cost extreme amounts of money and yes the insurance may cover it but the cost will skyrocket for you . Then when your kid becomes an adult it will screw them over.  The staff were complaining everyday about being underpaid and would usually bring a negative attitude to work. Whereas the doctors are probably are extremely overpaid since it cost something like 5000 dollars a week or more for your kid to be there to be treated as lesser human beings. Try finding an alternative to this place if you are given any other options and absolutely do everything in your power to not let them take your kid if they have a disability. The staff are not understanding at all instead of using calming techniques they hold them down and shout at them when the disabled kid doesn’t understand what they did wrong. They will punish the kids who don’t know any better but when another kid is being destructive/disruptive but has a normal functioning level the staff will let them go around screaming, yelling, and even breaking things and not make any attempt to stop it other than say “go to your room” “you aren’t going outside” Some of the kids there are not even kids. They are 18 year olds who got to choose to go to the kids psychiatric ward instead of the adults. Real safe right putting 18 year old men in the same place with 13 year old girls. Not only are they 18 but some are court ordered to be there and were given the option to either go to juvenile detention or the psychiatric ward for a crime they committed . Obviously they will choose the physc ward. So , they have criminals with your kid. Like I said try to avoid getting your kid sent here and if they do get them out as quick as possible.",7.2680045312942525,8.080674970093456,6.811605777400169,75.10231379212688,63.785046728971956,10.447465307278392,33.969130557915605,10.368888859301958,3.555797507788161,2339,95,409,53,33,729,257,535,0.138,0.777,0.085,-0.9867,3,2,3,0,1,0,28.0,0,16,23,5,30,23,4,2,33,2,49,12,2,3,7,87,77,40,1,9,23,0,1,2,0,8,8,5,1,24,20,22,0,6,10,1,9,12,16,12,0,1,11,6,42,12,65,48,13,57,0,0,0,2,74,24,2,16,19,286,62,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142897490679384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581465056268035,0.23883129667759906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758633296315235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339137661676232,0.0,0.08384945803580372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714649806352678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950726048566964,0.0,0.0,0.07740714559665171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796023680292195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108359568695854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608993793092265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005820406055961,0.0,0.06396723444364638,0.0,0.06823345139731081,0.22279772073660808,0.0,0.0,0.03838824933345122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939097995122401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018830895183971,0.11899772962576315,0.0,0.2588880178163462,0.0,0.12144290090913998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088865764550362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399601739953744,0.0,0.04172453364765005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526998875135015,0.0,0.07418293150753384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013565340513132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296607791376668,0.229533390506002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059990812735674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438706224003525,0.0,0.0,0.2390008881672673,0.0,0.05144645065499312,0.11548361753016327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221570968130054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586438555135495,0.0,0.0,0.08559021258875253,0.0,0.0,0.08185634107241957,0.07264673136026842,0.0,0.15264438394165536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641541832673992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860043888648795,0.1296732874120589,0.07221884098769261,0.060375914889642834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560628765237578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844816781273832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092233905483412,0.0,0.06347386902376148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570836053238717,0.06102291764174567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050438946939868924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463737726726892,0.0,0.0,0.1580741558226802,0.0,0.06557189829786601,0.08361693192660245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608997393974706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850744797215265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055271839366380034,0.0,0.0,0.05393253643670884,0.08300836676312412,0.0,0.1466730910885342
mentalhealth,Caitlink98,2018/04/13,"Finding myself a hobby Hello! I won't go too far into my background but I've basically struggled with depression for about half of my life. I had a baby last October and my depression got much worse during pregnancy. I've dissociated a lot since my baby was born and I've finally come to terms with having PPD as well. Since giving birth, I've had a lot of difficulty feeling like I'm actually in reality. I've doubted if I was ever alive. At my worst, I convinced myself that I died during childbirth and everything since then has been the afterlife, hence everything feeling unreal. As I learn more about PPD this is getting better but I still struggle. I've completely forgotten who I am and I do absolutely nothing but work and care for my baby. I don't take care of myself. I feel like having some kind of hobby would help bring me back to reality. My question is, how do I find a hobby? I write for a living, but I write about shit like lawyers, nothing that particularly interests me. I've thought maybe this would be a good start, but I also feel like something that involves me leaving the house would be good too as I rarely leave my apartment. ",3.8093796992481184,5.838948678571428,5.390930451127819,77.41064849624063,73.375,8.287218045112782,28.75375939849625,8.99025400887824,2.586244642857144,920,38,167,20,19,311,123,224,0.17800000000000002,0.616,0.207,0.5704,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,11,20,1,3,9,0,20,2,1,1,1,35,36,17,1,4,6,0,4,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,9,0,0,3,2,7,1,1,7,4,30,13,20,23,7,18,0,2,0,0,8,5,1,6,14,112,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.10967227675391493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987484087936799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641770190726768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939605985636332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291695173665147,0.0,0.0,0.09681036930339804,0.1178343169863442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935953575754492,0.0,0.11663866145522328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165934192277436,0.0,0.0,0.20201012457498035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730244099513686,0.2408651992852171,0.0,0.12311309192868156,0.20543707253945515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871691400030723,0.10781064875158296,0.06387140967158983,0.18852766413218572,0.08988514811654844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532979689509642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296780622721825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703246060446545,0.0,0.09160938333057833,0.0,0.2380005566644735,0.0,0.0,0.07938137640066703,0.2196239956838056,0.0,0.0992386731697416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109268545919028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290658803928393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826164549538187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21567430967139498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589775677641812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536235376487958,0.27889995262342765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652003833339701,0.0,0.0,0.07954720982530866,0.0,0.08975140233664701,0.0,0.0,0.2349799676256793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450009479601679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922172911841439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104828309712212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818181619663078,0.0,0.11453067707557175,0.2395068294461272,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rustfoot,2018/04/13,"Can I ""force"" someone into state services? Very briefly-- 

Relative is 45 years old, unable to work due to mental illness and lifelong drug addition. Kicked out by boyfriend of 12 years; he's thrown in the towel. He's moving far away; he supported her 100%; apartment is gone. There is no hope of her recovering. 

Relative is now in psych hospital for a few days after suicide attempt. Staff will not talk to me due to HIPAA (?). I can offer her zero resources of any kind, other than logistical support and advocacy from many states away. 

Relative will be in denial about: homeless, penniless, unable to recover, can't work, no resources, unwelcome by all family. Will probably attempt to return to empty apartment. 

Relative will probably reject idea of any state aid programs (halfway houses, group homes, shelters, disability). (Sorry-- I'm not familiar with proper terminology)

Her situation is far beyond my ability to help. I know she needs help from professionals who understand how to navigate all this stuff.  I also understand she is at risk of death, as homeless drug addicts tend to be. 

I'm trying to figure out how to ""force"" her into ""the system"" of state support or services of some kind, so she can find a knowledgable advisor and be somewhat safe and out of harm's way. 

Is it possible? Any suggestions? Kindest thanks for reading. ",5.378047016274864,7.999653531645571,6.187799879445452,70.80025316455695,70.64556962025316,9.240024110910188,34.070524412296564,9.725611199111238,4.031844846292948,1065,54,161,28,21,349,148,237,0.095,0.785,0.12,0.7761,1,0,2,0,0,1,52.0,0,0,0,4,8,12,0,1,4,0,18,4,0,2,2,30,31,10,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,5,11,0,1,7,1,0,2,5,4,0,1,1,0,14,8,43,23,5,33,0,1,0,0,18,16,0,4,9,105,19,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168655609789026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660131416965817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24643829904019776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22698550853321145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779040692235424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801723300264629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138766573025658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040626604900378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193536044123952,0.0,0.12116923631252376,0.11997867336434535,0.0,0.13938351502932522,0.0,0.13636510518010025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515829654724973,0.06638686996366308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246919424675964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173496035146912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838808987801095,0.0,0.08956944202393688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675612720602145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618046306460782,0.0,0.0,0.2604791855250384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082968552177058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357808848560461,0.0,0.0,0.1023509028275614,0.0,0.0,0.13522234738194674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828366015111204,0.1321323076303023,0.4112369991283295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709204978769256,0.0,0.11121364445658442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201323105534797,0.0,0.0,0.2515078662312891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967017269958146,0.0,0.09588303289783846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588330374904046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557861005693846
mentalhealth,blickerbloo,2018/04/13,"I'm a happy person but I think about killing myself all of the time. What's wrong with me? I'm young, a senior in high school. I'm so excited for the future and for college and everything. I genuinely love life and people and music. I have tons of really good friends and people that love me. I consider myself a very happy person. 

That's why I don't understand why I feel like this. I think about killing myself almost daily. Sometimes I dwell on it, and sometimes it's just a passing thought. It always comes out of nowhere. For example, I was out with a friend to go see a movie. As we were walking in, we were laughing about something and I was genuinely happy and then all of the sudden, I just thought about killing myself again. I don't understand it. I know you guys can't diagnose me of course, but I just want to know what other people think about this and if anyone else is out there like me. ",1.99973137973138,4.210861769230772,3.265421245421248,89.66013431013431,79.65934065934066,6.242246642246642,22.74847374847375,7.3871296695380915,0.9305777777777772,710,23,144,10,18,230,93,182,0.106,0.635,0.259,0.9856,0,0,1,0,0,3,21.0,2,1,0,0,11,17,3,1,9,0,9,4,0,0,2,37,28,15,3,2,6,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,3,11,17,0,0,10,0,0,4,3,5,0,0,6,2,25,12,24,22,3,18,0,0,1,2,10,7,0,2,9,100,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947513149609898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927830362379816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834267007880247,0.12225067419758714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027779260843038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110058560172456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967103255295877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723118711995028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032843807817188,0.08523751407535853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436246784754998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780855263090635,0.10007441593523662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813902064975546,0.0,0.3810339865913613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606115383072505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960077853890612,0.0,0.13114304445810748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427458024263201,0.1165809972482841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536999672807425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481506578736907,0.2083597108351067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643521679099141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075152677863935,0.09507732920291508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185328150926583,0.23600799932756705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22935361983698105,0.0,0.1894430182723061,0.06957260080908337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24841890648547854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844604736330327,0.07037413237411648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532356409283684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045046859887893,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cabsmell,2018/04/13,"My sister is crazy, hears voices, split personality and now PREGNANT! So like the title says:
My sister is 38, hears voice and conversations, see's people hiding around corners then running away, thinks the garbage man is trying to kidnap our dog, has different names for herself and now she's pregnant...
She already has two kids that are signed off into my other sisters care because she was found unfit to care for them and now this..

My parents have been looking into this and we've found this thing called ""Form 1"" but we think it's for doctors only, we are trying to find a form that would have her evaluated for 72 hours and have her rights signed off to my parents. I know it sounds cruel but my sister needs help and I've come to this reddit before for my own personal help and found you guys to be amazing and really helpful. 

If anyone has any information to help me I would be forever grateful. ",7.756197816313421,7.09704194797688,7.45811175337187,75.82849068721902,63.04624277456647,9.538599871547849,32.51701991008349,8.515128840125781,2.4819613359023767,719,23,131,8,9,228,106,173,0.044,0.797,0.158,0.9715,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,1,1,0,5,5,1,0,3,0,17,1,0,0,0,32,31,14,0,4,3,6,0,1,0,2,1,6,0,5,10,15,0,0,8,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,8,21,4,18,22,3,15,0,0,2,0,33,8,0,1,6,90,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436174713045474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850258684530589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909999205729948,0.0,0.0,0.1158560192031916,0.0,0.0,0.12227485394818652,0.0,0.0,0.07933475733064217,0.0,0.11074321372825448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289188131571347,0.0,0.26538157504711113,0.0,0.0,0.112107790695126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135973093708655,0.0,0.13320820574685846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894953244674927,0.0,0.0,0.4280895225757049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288633182680324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933641694227613,0.0,0.3489319238915619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816591993741425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152390371825389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358193114258454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928843432923988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965003494053012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898060468470034,0.0,0.0,0.28901968724413124,0.0,0.0,0.09022567093165652,0.22727396573889866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337377112194616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114252111253883,0.0,0.10349597097801276,0.0,0.0,0.10370815726899377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646209002699022,0.16678242490035053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671887362173655,0.0,0.12713207040378402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849015534100589,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,--Pascal--,2018/04/13,"My mother asked me if I want to see a psychologist, but I just want to die. I just can’t face this. I hate my “family”. They have been cold and abusive. But now they suddenly act as if they were caring and all because I cut them off. Though I know how horrible they can be.
Today my mother asked me in a kind voice if I want to see a psychologist. I have never hated her this much. I loathe them. Changing behavior suddenly won’t make me love them more. It just fills me with rage.
Maybe I’m just a sociopath, maybe it’s my fault for real. But I can’t stand them at all. I don’t want them to touch me and I don’t want to talk to them.
If I went to see a psychologist, they would get to know everything and I don’t want them in my life. They already know too much, and I don’t want anybody to know anything about me. Especially not them.
Maybe I’m a sociopath.
But I’d rather die than exposing myself this much.
I’d rather let depression consume me.
I am frightened, actually. I can’t talk to a psychologist. I want to erase my “family” from my life because I seem to hate everything and everyone. But I truly don’t want them in my life. Maybe I am not right. But I can’t stand their presence. I don’t want to try to build a bond when we have never shared one. I have always repressed myself. But maybe it’s not just because of them, but also because I am a sociopath. Still, I don’t want them in my life and we have nothing in common.
I’d like to kill myself. The sole idea of letting them into my life makes me go crazy. I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want them to talk to me.
I wish I could easily kill myself.
I am too weak for this. I can’t go through all of this when I am still with my “family”. I don’t want to share even more with them. It makes me want to kill myself.
_They_ make me want to kill myself.
I want to do things on my own. I want to run away from anybody too. I can’t stand people. I can’t open up to them. I an terrified all the time. I don’t know how can I live like this. I wish I was normal. I think I used to be normal once, though. But maybe I was pretending.
I have been going through a depressive episode. Now that it ended I can tell I was truly depressed. I ruined myself. I cut myself. And all.
But now I am not depressed anymore. At least, I feel better. I decided not to self-harm, even if sometimes I feel like it, and I feel more energetic, even if I am still tired and sad. I have constant headache. And I also struggle making easy decisions such as: “Which book should I read today?”, “Which of the activities I planned should I do first?”, so that I end up doing nothing. I am also more productive, even if I am told it’s not enough. The truth is that anytime I bump into one of my relatives who live with me, I feel so enraged that I lose any kind of motivation and I just feel like crashing my head to the wall. I wish they could just ignore me. I wish I could just live on my own. I hate them. I loathe them.
Why do I still want to die, if I am not depressed anymore? (At least that’s what I think)

I have some other problems such as a just discovered gender dysphoria, loneliness and the fact that I am terrified of opening up to people. I just can’t let anyone in. I am frightened. What’s this? Am I a sociopath? Could it be social fobia or something?

I’ll go to a psychologist just if my relatives will be out of it.",-0.03924126842951381,2.07277050210379,2.2159643211439146,94.66218614237336,87.31697054698458,5.4415831423391365,18.79329866931208,6.861361215468153,0.0866645024458661,2580,72,600,35,82,871,226,713,0.234,0.631,0.136,-0.9988,0,0,1,0,0,7,97.0,2,0,27,5,41,38,12,2,20,0,70,10,2,9,9,135,132,47,7,44,40,2,6,4,0,5,7,1,0,0,29,24,0,2,17,3,0,8,29,26,0,3,8,11,149,12,73,108,18,55,0,8,3,1,45,23,0,12,25,444,178,3,0.0,0.055453229762227815,0.045672423150442926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051647648489881424,0.1122836659741732,0.03894337341378573,0.0,0.0,0.031827259276405534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283087443924874,0.032725349274495615,0.0,0.038514414427491706,0.0,0.08750791374158401,0.0,0.043972426324620624,0.0,0.0,0.11412131469587605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041392948515446296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04771819953109805,0.0,0.049510768196875464,0.0,0.0,0.05057680306516602,0.0,0.14947173719696627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155433425958288,0.0,0.1457206085081311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829061276521302,0.04835942423514215,0.0,0.12365026202938377,0.0,0.0,0.04472173028288324,0.08412601765316087,0.0,0.13236350520408174,0.0,0.1183235815778746,0.0668713347898865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039810125491434666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024452339476160902,0.0,0.10639560465337056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18483085169186653,0.04803279862833396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528342499001759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071198304597908,0.09747506336643792,0.12860696558398235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357597571874745,0.16528971224746775,0.09146121847519463,0.0,0.12398221705747033,0.0,0.0,0.0523599507844832,0.0,0.0,0.042241022955476284,0.0,0.15620493684275272,0.0,0.2821160069635649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321551995241916,0.0,0.07219384301787858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171289423326187,0.089816393217532,0.0,0.0,0.049843063541942484,0.06342907954037623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489382795440374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04478360745136836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681509827448512,0.053271414964267225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03996902194808297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118864384014412,0.04260717710973516,0.04882514471627167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047709186343107834,0.0,0.03603079938444328,0.046288802844989166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495059333932782,0.0,0.0,0.04892806473489348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504720907897443,0.040907389230393686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03109345675600319,0.059978218369247986,0.0919663053345678,0.0,0.027290874982546662,0.05379251166974238,0.08872646779462788,0.04472173028288324,0.0,0.03177577972734517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04042227500436064,0.0,0.0,0.5245004628194468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04338632416535875,0.04223191601374465,0.0,0.21528195212676507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03324710548448913,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SableSugar,2018/04/13,"I feel so lost I don't have the energy or emotional strength to make a long post, I've tried 4-5 times and I keep deleting it because I get burnt out, I'm just so fucking lost and scared and I can't stop thinking about my mortality and the nature of existence and all of reality/the universe/everything and I'm falling into deeply delusional thoughts and tendencies",4.968082191780823,6.014257589041103,6.106739726027397,77.28449315068495,69.0,10.223561643835618,35.14794520547945,10.355215969177356,3.798448767123288,296,15,57,8,5,99,53,73,0.16899999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.096,-0.6219,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,1,1,18,14,10,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,1,6,1,6,11,1,7,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,3,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701091042437493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28972905233673546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23148528664079865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023399401048952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381172355175616,0.13456851924250204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22893805171738074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22793935455538156,0.0,0.0,0.5623312528750473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192847391793228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24667870726896204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25787025192704793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533817305546726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503901478674254,0.0,0.2044800237910635,0.15018982698215594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487159581820524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coma_blight,2018/04/13,"Has anyone else found themselves reverting to childhood interests during recovery from depression? I recently began medication which is working for me. Since I was around 10 I've been in a slow downward spiral, losing interest in things I used to enjoy, rising anxiety and general apathy towards things. I'm now 21, and I'm noticing that I'm picking up things I used to enjoy doing when I was a child, because that's the last time I found things exciting. I've been watching Disney movies every single night, as well as old kids TV shows I used to like. I'm getting excited about collecting plushies and that kind of thing. It feels like I'm trying to pick up where I left off...instead of progressing onto 'adult' things. Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing? It feels like depression took ten years of my life from me. ",5.853260997067451,7.363845587096777,6.2731964809384175,75.18434017595307,67.32258064516128,9.765395894428153,31.51026392961877,10.018931242160765,3.3537741935483885,666,27,113,16,11,215,99,155,0.086,0.748,0.16699999999999998,0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,6,15,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,5,0,14,23,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,14,4,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,3,1,1,8,4,11,12,22,15,1,23,0,3,1,0,3,10,0,0,14,67,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099315198444084,0.0,0.0,0.1663392293043955,0.2437478976861129,0.0,0.10588691079722287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250820829477987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489555263404452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872777638609795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021690111774792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028506221957068,0.16994969554343087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608356901491668,0.0,0.0,0.06214423059380381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24772733181195825,0.0,0.0969566391418636,0.0,0.0,0.12923487530048813,0.0,0.08401488129758962,0.1743326151937529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306983810704115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982530148430025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162250276661516,0.0,0.0,0.1354204931961127,0.12481352672105925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744455104425945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983931306309261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531557681591751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935820720448807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321530740468575,0.08075633763383715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081927414077682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694648914727824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659390246511962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659714536720436
mentalhealth,LostLadyA,2018/04/13,"Help for my brother My brother (25M) is battling depression, PTSD and anxiety. He has a diagnosis of PTSD with depression and anxiety symptoms that came from a friends mom. She is too far away to help him on a regular basis and he is trying like hell to find someone to talk to/prescribe meds and help get his life back on track. At this point he is having trouble working because of his flashbacks and would love to get on short term disability while he gets help. 

He is having an incredibly hard time finding anyone. He has called all drs that his insurance recommends within a 25 mile radius and is being told they aren’t taking new patients. Does anyone have any recommendations?? I’m new to all of this and have zero ideas for him! We live in Texas. ",6.115210727969347,6.693162068965517,6.562298850574713,76.70980842911877,66.24137931034483,9.478927203065137,32.662835249042146,9.444778638647367,2.9302260536398466,600,24,111,11,9,195,95,145,0.132,0.7290000000000001,0.139,0.3091,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,1,2,8,2,0,5,0,15,4,0,0,2,16,23,8,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,2,1,10,3,19,19,3,18,1,2,0,1,26,11,1,0,7,66,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701432199935593,0.0,0.21827043642216026,0.0,0.0,0.1995036735325116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403463645744,0.10969744646332802,0.0,0.0869647765987747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456727562957853,0.1631660944899954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457472937196409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484353806217507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26077900440655505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021947784607056,0.0,0.2236033377843913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779616858713114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824904471938178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104682115088426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076563129671852,0.06969692255424438,0.0,0.1259722116750007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875705592478442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846412861973475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708275278668466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755656233751383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486068752857108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335259773197237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087613998120697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482793264162098,0.10726326227673777,0.11466544873543708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318673342896651,0.0,0.0,0.136318628768904,0.0,0.0968574045121934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385885349807177,0.0,0.0,0.10134222896816936,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ElectricalString,2018/04/13,"Tired of my inferiority in everything I am 23 yo college student and I am tired of my life. I am studying second year in college (in a four year programme) and currently attending an internship at local university in research group. My field of study is basically analytical chemistry. I already know career prospects are not very good in this line of work. I regret that I have wasted so many years since high school on something that is basically vain.

I am not gifted in anything. Terrible at natural sciences, terrible at maths and even with computers. I don't even know what I want to study. I have started to question the worthiness of my existence as I have no talent in anything. Someone could think I'm depressed but I am not. I'm perfectly okay, I have no reason to be depressed. Just disappointed with myself. It was all so clear in my mind when I started to write this but it's surprisingly hard to translate to words.",3.8269574036511145,6.4499165977011526,5.220155510480055,75.86686612576071,75.55172413793103,8.232048681541583,32.074374577417174,9.007467420416297,3.265076808654497,744,38,128,18,17,248,106,174,0.218,0.708,0.07400000000000001,-0.9713,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,6,13,0,0,3,1,16,3,0,1,3,25,24,9,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,8,0,2,1,1,20,5,26,21,1,22,0,5,0,0,3,14,0,1,7,91,27,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871149482919872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790687620757087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353807830292762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29208554453662283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239870842372589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239063058472016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221985002095486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189348751913814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915066726821205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637275011620946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976605659574875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719083950544595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120842766820096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994729679738329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433710523610887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160493886242734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026273762187033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366861434565664,0.13053645927480922,0.0,0.0,0.24003251306415396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864794000259356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897712029058566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990570877001748,0.10001156097757052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344253855158165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275754689681833
mentalhealth,mostriciattolo,2018/04/13,"AMA: Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Topic: Depression/Unusual Therapies

I don't know whether to shout it from the rooftops that I'm getting TMS for my depression or to hide in shame.... But I decided shout it out, because a) fuck stigma, and b) so few people even know what it is. It stands for ""transcranial magnetic stimulation,"" and it's a therapy for treatment-resistant depression. Really, really treatment-resistant, we're talking tried and failed 4+ antidepressants.

So, TMS involves a psychiatrist mapping out your brain and then basically s/he puts a magnet thing on your head to zap the part of your brain that deals with mood. That's the best way I can explain it. It's totally noninvasive. And it's the wave of the future, and has virtually no side effects and you can drive to/from treatment on your own. It's in the same category as ECT (electroconculsive AKA electroshock therapy), but waaaayyy less scary and intensive. Also it has a high success rate, of approx 84% who go into full remission and one-third of patients go off their pills, and one-third reduce dosages and the rest stay on pills.

My first session is Tuesday afternoon, and I'll be getting 36 sessions over the course of 8 weeks.

#AMA!",5.378614848031887,7.545220825112112,6.015657698056803,73.99929123069259,69.44843049327355,10.15734927752865,33.913552566018936,10.380263240014207,4.04104105630294,976,48,168,29,18,317,138,223,0.076,0.888,0.036000000000000004,-0.6759999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,5,1,5,4,8,1,1,13,0,8,6,3,3,1,29,17,21,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,16,16,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,5,0,1,0,2,11,2,24,16,9,27,0,3,0,1,11,14,1,1,6,104,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523834758813476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546601070442748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434910413832168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496498133779281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145466487175444,0.26977029885400594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343726997853264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320960686223993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478040088670932,0.1636411082995578,0.0,0.17800643043432712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072368883012325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654636114413406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213392938310498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224155023136465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958983033786293,0.0,0.10857138985221056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743302146901472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065256626989092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692193990723025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587455961520227,0.0,0.0,0.5372803418854514,0.0,0.10404255448394407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632569159148964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430713500205938,0.12562047462793038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jormccormick69,2018/04/13,Wth is wrong with me?! Has anyone had an inner voice that talks through you out loud and controls your body?? (Hand movements) is this DID or schiz?? It was a negative voice btw...it almost seems like a completely different personality within me...any insight would be much appreciated! ,3.837466666666668,6.9904548800000015,4.416,78.24466666666667,80.2,7.333333333333335,26.333333333333336,8.344100000000001,2.3027333333333333,224,9,38,5,6,71,45,50,0.202,0.7040000000000001,0.095,-0.8032,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,8,2,2,1,0,9,9,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,3,1,4,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,1,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971886054945653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018248590197805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751987930655635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32966266999817473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311174785537554,0.0,0.3328710680462918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100785123512832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449947933328475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181720767737537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591423467332952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27018309803942003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23854558325546096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21082846999009985,0.3244892251931043,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowawayBi95,2018/04/13,"I feel like there's something wrong with my brain/ i have some kind of condition but I have no idea what and i don't know what to do about it. Disclaimer: Aware this could sound like a narcissistic post - apologies in advance, I don't intend it to be that way.  

I feel like there must be something wrong with me (age 23/female) because I just don't seem to function like those around me.. not in a ""I feel special"" kind of way but more like ""What am I missing?"" . Does anyone have any idea of whats up with me or does everyone feel this way? 

- incredibly unorganised, keeping on top of everyday stuff is hard, 
- when having conversations i associate things that people dont associate together and so the change in topic often leaves people a little confused
- prone to waves of depression 
- overthinker, worrier, anxious. 
- people percieve me as a complete people-person but although im very aware, can feel the mood of the room and know how to make people feel better, i am perpetually socially anxious, find socializing exhausting. need a lot of time alone to recharge. 
- had an eating disorder. think it left me with no sense of myself
- feel like i dont know who i am
- cant remember any names of anyone who is famous or of movies or songs ever. 
- often feel disconnected from others 
- often described paradoxically as oblivious, conscientious, creative, impulsive, deep thinker 
- hate phones (texting/calling = no aha) 
- incredibly messy, somehow always last minute, struggle to be succinct when writing but also incredibly high standards for myself..
- I'm always commented on for being the overly-enthusiastic, childlike, funny one in my group of friends but I don't see myself that way...although it is real in that that is how I am with them but when i am alone , that version of me feels more like a performance.  really connect to the term ""chameleon""

thanks for listening. really appreciated. anyone know what could be wrong with me?
",6.171432664756448,7.823065134670486,6.489357020057309,73.4014166189112,66.70773638968481,9.251621776504301,32.29810888252149,9.592334608150935,3.2225217421203443,1528,64,255,32,25,492,186,349,0.156,0.7120000000000001,0.132,-0.802,0,2,2,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,1,4,17,23,1,2,12,0,31,3,1,4,2,62,55,22,0,4,11,0,10,7,1,1,1,3,1,0,23,10,1,1,20,1,0,1,11,9,0,1,1,14,29,13,42,46,6,29,0,2,1,0,14,15,0,11,16,174,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662613591489452,0.0,0.06418815883906193,0.13357437611564693,0.0,0.0,0.10916635947649744,0.0,0.0,0.1813539622753754,0.0,0.16837016400946864,0.0,0.0,0.07145316476431571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892900279217618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098816549339541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960265841641113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491008088378596,0.0,0.084156675899586,0.0,0.0,0.12817067637455234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913241481694017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199102696798166,0.0,0.14048146988548427,0.0,0.18814074802453026,0.0,0.0,0.08213147524955172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260459014967252,0.0,0.07669696661709481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652610825207741,0.2293662834411172,0.0,0.0,0.07336106141925647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620127981718816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190197381266268,0.07924540023581103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480473255851087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812195849847957,0.08670033464238266,0.0,0.0,0.07134351709342171,0.0,0.16716798821793946,0.17644691444142632,0.06542696032434993,0.0,0.08498939962224393,0.08720852056799983,0.0,0.0,0.2744951158556224,0.08044695142653495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823871690466163,0.0,0.0,0.05357773391446526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951572834362561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543898678035188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22258350581660533,0.07008459393076405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687200286980635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135952274913628,0.10284005692532296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909249769678566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396107944766014,0.07307054578978878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364080052987562,0.0,0.12358435150410844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391075488077569,0.09188460445825264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389753583385912,0.0,0.0,0.05332472155573113,0.0514307852460227,0.0,0.0,0.04680336190589681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622730686170028,0.0,0.2548435452879402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632726283748483,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChooseAUserNameYou,2018/04/13,"Amen Clinic - Quacks, Crooks or Good? My 14 year old son had a TBI in sports last may. This injury has either caused or brought forward (and removed filters) depression and suicidal ideation which has lead to parents making appointments everywhere to try to find a fix/cure/solution. They already took $500 deposit for their SPECT scans and will expect another $3500 at the time of the appointments.  I would be willing to lose the $500 if it turns out they are witch doctors. 
Do you or anyone you have experience with Amen Clinics? Are they good? Did they help? Did they try to sell you a bunch of extras, or actually work with the scans to come up with a comprehensive plan and answers to your particular problem?",6.144603174603173,7.3964106616541425,5.877092731829574,79.24758563074356,66.44360902255639,9.21938178780284,32.82289055973267,9.444778638647367,2.97967903091061,570,24,104,11,9,177,95,133,0.139,0.7879999999999999,0.073,-0.885,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,6,4,0,6,0,0,8,0,14,3,0,3,0,24,19,9,1,4,6,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,2,1,2,6,0,4,0,0,5,2,12,2,17,9,3,14,2,2,2,0,13,5,0,6,5,66,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.1941671487295602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21956962110011446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863860826801647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912526031030545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439818887415484,0.0,0.17139603490930114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137356723271815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036554118213172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946319725530848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185603417278345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337751351996436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336617338871495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621880504777315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225978314738181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281479331338775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878676026011592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093392482902646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038852701144127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21764215303757944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602168258603952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210642781557036,0.27017671157906753,0.2164234844061203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485337309936205,0.0,0.0,0.14134340221384936,0.0,0.0,0.12813090252735726
mentalhealth,bertlalert,2018/04/13,"I had two panic attacks in the past two days and I feel like I might have more Yesterday I woke up for work feeling like I can’t even breathe. So I started to freak out of course. My chest hurt, I felt like crying for no reason. I got to work and immediately asked to go home because I knew we had enough people to cover the shift. So I told them that I would come in later because I knew they needed people later. So I went home and went straight to sleep, I woke feeling better. Went to work. Everything is fine. 

Today, I got up and I felt fine. I picked up a coworker and we went to work. Work was find for about an hour and I started to feel really angry for no reason. Like there was nothing to feel angry about. I’m angry with myself just thinking about it. So I went into another room and started to have another attack. I’m going through it right now. I have a coworker that usually helps me through this type of thing but he has no way of understanding of what I’m going through and I’ve always had trouble opening up to people because I just hate to feel weak. And I honestly just get more aggravated when he tries to help. 

I don’t know how to help myself because I have no idea what’s causing these panic attacks. I feel so weak and ashamed for feeling this way, I fucking hate it.   

I feel like I should seek professional help but I honestly just have no time for anything. I’ve been in therapy before to help me cope with my past but it never helped and probably made things far worse than they were before. I’m scared to tell my parents because they will travel 1,000 miles just to try to help me. And their “help” is never helpful because older people simply do not understand that type of shit. No one does unless they’re going through it as well. 

This is absolute bullshit. ",2.2854509803921554,4.401592355555562,3.5844117647058837,88.22294117647058,78.2222222222222,6.235294117647059,23.92156862745098,7.285733465282438,1.012519607843137,1408,48,284,18,34,459,167,360,0.225,0.645,0.131,-0.9927,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,5,6,19,27,7,4,5,0,23,7,4,6,2,61,69,24,0,3,10,1,11,5,0,4,2,0,3,0,16,20,0,0,21,1,0,11,11,16,1,3,22,11,44,11,50,43,3,46,0,1,0,1,22,15,2,1,23,184,60,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05484055396423136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382201110008804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423648846157585,0.0,0.0616148787991724,0.2249388486126789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410606311842809,0.0,0.112165335425636,0.0,0.0,0.05829007679125229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770544672698411,0.0,0.05677371788217112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239660317874838,0.042505066648076496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057676343728975024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810035654249864,0.0,0.04353146808484571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923366424736705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999245916697585,0.14125359680217495,0.126563611906676,0.0,0.060238518264203976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093068196617115,0.03443409558657822,0.0,0.14982764427091744,0.0,0.10542494730028816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301405785878129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39758936992341454,0.0,0.13222175725844995,0.0,0.06490588865874458,0.0,0.07055564322510895,0.07440186298253755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03622119307100268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099606453352686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236353643189359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991774084342388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488697848623798,0.1016642883460553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324029388495478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04466081844625408,0.0,0.0,0.15465716191375573,0.0731827916875764,0.0,0.12583287011143465,0.1827686284937619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105973572066378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042222212489429325,0.13552835260003174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628488528077703,0.0,0.0,0.06598518697964889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765339058200047,0.0,0.0,0.06595537930428817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994960089809594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760630602769193,0.0,0.07537129205702996,0.0,0.08757240288579943,0.04223104514095363,0.0,0.0,0.03843135740473982,0.0,0.062472870460478086,0.06297770963221344,0.0,0.08949411466630319,0.0,0.12876465148634048,0.13722464979333648,0.0,0.0,0.07258810993298986,0.0,0.0,0.10462905838840894,0.0,0.0,0.05925901076830629,0.30548586872776184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23990824942292105,0.0,0.06716566000037273,0.04681899698579232,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rayy1,2018/04/13,"What is wrong with me? Couple years back I had social anxiety so I was always alone. I have many friends now but I feel more comfortable when I'm alone. I seem to be happier when i'm with my friends, yet I still prefer being alone. What is wrong with me? It seems like I WANT to be sad and alone. Is this normal? I am an Introvert, but from what I know introverts are happier when alone, I feel like there's something wrong with me.",0.8015730337078644,3.0728716853932596,2.2001011235955046,95.14082584269664,84.95505617977528,6.256629213483146,19.0123595505618,7.554174236665415,0.4367878651685389,336,9,76,6,10,108,53,89,0.249,0.496,0.256,0.5879,0,5,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,1,0,11,0,0,0,0,15,19,7,0,3,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,14,5,7,14,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,10,51,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7035257337180347,0.0,0.0,0.11304251504223965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392895315083163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446436046155813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032133509634127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738507045343612,0.09705507261223084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099229769663924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746625346864159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274410071526835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773597804010038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310937544846616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24735517430185536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384873970094905,0.0,0.10458806786260652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849423947522636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013099163772029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456094187931236,0.0,0.08748637626836836
mentalhealth,Evergreenmonster,2018/04/13,"(USA) Suffering is Hilarious to me & I can't socialize normally: Do I have a problem? Ever since I was a kid I remember finding gruesome imagery to be funny rather than disturbing. One of my earliest memories of this was seeing a time-lapse video of a fox corpse decaying in biology class. Insects and maggots ate away at it's innards until it looked like it exploded in a mess of bugs. I cracked up while almost all the other kids refused to watch.

I laugh at r/watchpeopledie and browse it for entertainment. I love morbid humour, especially about super taboo subjects like rape and school shootings. Dramatic, violent scenes in movies are ridiculous to me. In Platoon when the sargent holds the little crying vietnamese girl at gunpoint, i laughed, in Full Metal Jacket when the Drill Sargent got shot by the crazy dude I laughed, I laughed at the 'sponge is dry' electrocution in Green Mile, and many other examples

I also am unable to form lasting relationships, although i don't really feel the desire to socialize it has impacted me in everyday life. My co-workers and classmates have often said I seem shy or rude because I don't socialize normally. Do I have a mental health issue, even though i feel perfectly fine?",8.665926756352768,8.5785945426009,8.696065022421525,65.81506913303438,60.973094170403606,12.097010463378176,41.00485799701046,11.538034831475384,5.108725261584455,985,50,156,26,12,322,150,223,0.16399999999999998,0.6509999999999999,0.185,0.7427,0,0,0,2,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,9,21,4,1,13,0,16,5,0,0,3,24,25,13,0,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,3,8,5,1,3,5,2,0,0,3,9,0,1,5,7,21,12,28,19,3,24,0,1,4,2,10,16,0,4,10,106,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558920838717993,0.0,0.0,0.12449807974076706,0.0,0.16868035304102266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462674715363363,0.0,0.0,0.0949017233307761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100832362059076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282586551129697,0.14082242297466938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574340335259492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422896596448844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451235772138812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548167657702498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249056938727408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269008345305572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996212991717053,0.15211579492156418,0.15603331135753656,0.0,0.0,0.1307328730425356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050822615959346,0.0,0.0,0.1578361499755829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568898822065574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050687503060906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054935087929564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489657400260365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973326731286716,0.0,0.0,0.16714318609862616,0.1763562818705247,0.0,0.14808832951069384,0.0,0.0,0.15755753439650408,0.12405764105722253,0.14172618129221673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287809736357437,0.0,0.0,0.4760916764482744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295584155989786,0.0,0.09077887242888673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333765882708526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,just_nope_,2018/04/13,"Am I the only one who feels that way? I’ve had my first panic attack about 4 months ago when dad tried to kill me with a knife after finding out I had a lover. My panic attack is rather unusual, not like anything I’ve heard. I can breathe and I can think however I lose all my senses - almost as though I’m actually dying and fading away. I couldn’t see, heard people as though I was in a bubble and didn’t understand anything and couldn’t feel anything at all either. I couldn’t move to defend myself because I thought that if I moved an inch I was going to die. All my thoughts were religion related and all of them telling me that I’ll die and go to hell and if I didn’t, I’ll spend the rest of my life in this state of semi-madness. I felt detached from my body, as though I wasn’t there and felt nothing at all. I wasn’t even scared I was just numb all over hoping I’d die quickly before the ability to feel returned. I literally felt something break in me even after everything was over. And I was right, things were never the same again. I got over the trauma although I still get nightmares, note that I never had nightmares before in my life, quite frequently and on a regular basis. Not necessarily of the incident, but just nightmares in general. I also lost ability to be scared of things I need that should scare me. I lost my anxiety completely, even the stage fright that chased me endlessly. However, I’m now scared of Dad’s anger (I’m not scared of being near him. I don’t really hate him. I know, shocking) and people with masks that cover their entire face. I’m also scared of people talking in deep voices or shrill ones on purpose. I’ve never had that before and I’m not sure why I have this now. I feel like I’ve lost ability to care too. I genuinely don’t give a shit about anything even though I know that I’m not depressed at all. I don’t think twice about anything which literally makes me forget them no matter how important from how mundane they seem to me. I also get the feeling of detachment that I felt in my panic attack quite often. Especially after I take a nap, or get surprised even in a pleasant way or when I’m being intimidated. It also frequently happens from nothing, but when it does, nothing feels real and I feel like I’m not in my body and I take way longer to comprehend why others are saying or that they’re talking to me. I also have difficulty expressing feelings on my face due to lack of feelings in me. It’s as though I forgot how someone should act when they’re happy or surprised. I can’t even be properly with my lover because of this lack of feelings that I get so suddenly , however I mastered how to mimic love when the feeling arises because I still love him even though I can’t feel. I feel like I wouldn’t even care if he left me though. I genuinely feel like I’m made to be alone now because of all of this. It doesn’t make me sad, it brings me comfort. I often feel like running away from everyone. I feel like dying not from depression, but because I’m bored of the lack of feeling. I often do things to do dangerous and risky things to make me feel something. I feel like I’ll never be able to be the same person I was again. However, does anyone know what this is and if I can do anything about it? Note that I can’t seek professional help and I’m not even sure that I want this gone. ",3.786327725819465,4.855578175695463,4.9805294767980435,84.1811399288852,71.78184480234259,7.918116353422775,26.82310933158036,8.290611406555254,1.6745383751157852,2646,88,540,40,49,876,252,683,0.205,0.6920000000000001,0.103,-0.9967,4,1,2,0,0,1,60.0,0,0,4,8,51,52,9,10,19,0,48,13,6,8,14,123,123,56,6,17,24,2,23,8,2,3,3,4,0,1,34,21,0,1,33,1,1,8,28,30,0,4,31,28,87,22,74,79,15,70,1,7,1,4,25,27,2,15,37,371,121,1,0.0439001346274254,0.0,0.04284019872581468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03891482056465951,0.0,0.04395964346805799,0.04546729988613065,0.0,0.1755346090043515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033583482830027926,0.0,0.0,0.030695994860467368,0.0,0.2167564215869016,0.0,0.0,0.14982822230371162,0.08249124317305785,0.0,0.0,0.1338055730128026,0.0,0.11206734351072413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752630598828818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951822608652164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602845592184197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562224325420816,0.0,0.22780704402931146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683460730049334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26096062400445674,0.0,0.0,0.04194845993544405,0.039454610306108265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217473152625823,0.21953585464646053,0.16860405481105745,0.0,0.040123927731470665,0.037341432087693874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174403372636973,0.042113009358237384,0.0498989163755307,0.0,0.03511094801517162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03882074406861123,0.046732509630580725,0.0,0.04334229427163836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029425334865640883,0.0,0.0,0.04360273915297541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856899461917663,0.0,0.07237909771058487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769762472275803,0.0,0.062015926737143776,0.1715791063800604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491130214285419,0.1437665484084829,0.0,0.07924317095388245,0.04153936884531869,0.0879110422618156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03504066862789612,0.0933177911760988,0.0,0.032551393569649874,0.13543396072849673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637008950457898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059495734735915164,0.033388030599986754,0.0,0.15452204751862414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130447742464012,0.0383319042495384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933863939012996,0.0,0.04996796416860167,0.028123550369521143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749047510556088,0.0,0.03491114907811186,0.26371015921475344,0.0,0.03498272352846745,0.03996503379105986,0.0,0.0,0.04506285733316609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037196441608496056,0.06759293680543603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011740844315524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275071469919125,0.0,0.06601487560131858,0.07057053061196031,0.03837065264112928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666119505960862,0.0562588673190197,0.3019216156480127,0.06970360640310562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029805309731502142,0.0,0.0,0.04570158836855116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025893436816523518,0.10453765045254357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922608654422532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chikiPoww,2018/04/13,anonymous talk out im looking for someone to talk my problems out anonymously and if you have your own im glad to listen and maybe advise,0.91,3.4918457142857164,2.3114285714285714,90.95857142857143,91.85714285714286,4.228571428571429,24.857142857142854,5.985473137389443,0.8500428571428569,112,5,21,1,4,36,22,28,0.091,0.8079999999999999,0.101,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,5,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6635696033435436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579364899470549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085828473196203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29391001062280425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26025511645547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4937660934358026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wanderinwater,2018/04/13,"I feel like I flipped a switch in my brain a couple of days ago I feel far less depressed and angry currently.  My thinking is far more rational than usually.  I feel like I'm denying my feelings less too.  Everything just seems better.

All because of one realization.  I don't feel shame.  I feel embarrassment.  I think the difference being that shame is done to you while embarrassment is done to yourself.  I'm stubborn because I'm embarrassed to have to change, not because people would shame me for changing.  I'm angry because I'm embarrassed I'm not reaching some standard I want to reach, and not that people are shaming me for not reaching that standard.

I looked up embarrassment and it's basically when reality isn't matching the image you want to project, and I'm chronically embarrassed because I have extremely unrealistic standards for that image.  

It was bad for me because everything in my head has to be perfect, and I have OCD, so that's impossible to happen when I'm having intrusive thoughts.  I felt like I had to be perfectly good, strong, and smart or I would have to hate myself and agonize over how I'm not meeting those standards.  

Now that I've lowered my standards to probably normal levels I feel a lot better. ",5.233549783549783,7.169416792207791,6.118896103896105,74.05072510822512,69.3896103896104,9.116017316017318,34.91125541125541,9.586721724236666,3.6826813852813856,993,51,168,23,18,327,116,231,0.18,0.6559999999999999,0.16399999999999998,-0.6251,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,5,7,24,2,10,5,0,21,3,2,1,3,43,47,13,0,5,7,0,8,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,12,0,0,0,7,14,0,1,6,9,26,10,22,36,6,15,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,4,11,111,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063958819811844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021676709424264,0.4390007225460105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230663591069893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398880535103844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25394336509539944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280657960591755,0.0,0.07740689501516865,0.0,0.10337829073448213,0.0,0.0,0.12540171208973258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456567132925723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574341090779972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42482156305030255,0.17149331754901462,0.11524386375763937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067218510936796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613867016251173,0.0,0.0,0.11850090940177375,0.12318139025965046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759160464570073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079168166797864,0.0,0.0,0.10204188489868177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176000788940635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133278118073815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642194864695284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940841966622274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926723949664592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538157370589409,0.0,0.0952873040774439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219177495835638,0.0,0.14158898885531562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052617347483812,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aX10mAt1CaLlY,2018/04/13,"How do I get comfortable with minor acts of intimacy? Not sure if this is the place to post this, but whatever... I'm acting in a student run play as a character, and several times in the play, I have to squeeze people on the shoulder or tickle them while holding their hand. My attempts to do so usually come off as awkward and creepy, and I usually feel the need to apologize before making contact with them, which just makes things worse. I normally have no problems reading lines, but when I read lines related to these acts, the lines also sound awkward and creepy. These aren't extremely intimate acts that for a normal person shouldn't be hard to perform (the other actors ad-lib greater contact with each other with no problem) but they make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I don't know how to get used to making contact with people like this and it makes me feel exasperated and less worthwhile, since I feel that I'm holding everyone else back with my poorer performance in the play. Any ideas on what to do to overcome this?",8.396752577319589,7.799833520618558,8.033731958762885,72.01822680412374,61.7319587628866,11.265154639175258,37.44123711340206,10.577609850970193,3.943319175257733,829,35,146,17,10,264,116,194,0.138,0.733,0.13,-0.4168,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,4,3,7,10,0,2,10,0,10,2,2,8,1,44,27,19,0,7,7,0,7,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,14,14,0,2,6,6,0,6,6,4,0,0,0,8,15,6,26,25,3,20,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,2,7,100,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228454135700826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548252222163243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107965387519387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947720109227394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094939817946393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729319575214875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341662368236285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28397880971744144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671518066491304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577834133646004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850398541531485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771647809356467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859644864197696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4686184639301829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411104448949424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751408277284326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468300163365276,0.12259919318513067,0.14669688654721366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447242827251926,0.0,0.0,0.2687037395525982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28089277951841674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862151871674018,0.0,0.1161472738399472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323332489767444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932810974978722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187326324075163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126777043017495,0.30928001684162904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308814815037285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zeitgeist94,2018/04/13,"[Serious] How to stop being a bigot? I am not -- and never have been -- a racist, sexist, homophobe or the like, hence I'm ideologically left-leaning. I just utterly and completely despise Islam and Muslims. Please differentiate race and religion here. 

I live in multicultural Malaysia but there's been a painfully obvious creeping Islamization in the local zeitgeist. I'm talking about the 'death to apostates and homosexuals' and  'sharia will rule Malaysia' kind. All of which is ideologically tangent to my beliefs.

I'm a relatively peaceful ex-muslim although I've received death threats and was shunned by my extended family. I can never own dogs. I can't stay at a hotel with my GF or the Moral Police will arrest us. I can't be seen in pubs or locals will report me to the police. I can't learn evolution from books because it's either banned or heavily censored here. Wearing shorts in some states can result in a fine. I can't watch TV without a mandatory 'islamic moral lesson'. I can't learn history in college without the mandatory 'west lies about islam' or 'islam is solution for every western problem under the sky'. Me being an atheist resulted in me and my friends receiving death threats.

This barely scratches the surface. In short, I have become supremely bitter and bigoted towards anybody and anything resembling islam. My blood boils when I look at hijabi women now. I fucking hate every muslim I see and at one point I tore pieces of the Quran and threw it in a small-college mosque just to piss them off. I plaster pictures of darwinian evolution on the segments of the quran where it tells the Adam and Eve myth. I talked down to hijabi women looking at a proto-human exhibition in a museum because I can definitely surely say they won't believe a sentence of what they're seeing.

In my small business i won't hire muslims because they take their sweet ass time for prayer break especially when customers come. I outsource some work to non-muslim chinese and indians because the local muslims will get too emotional or biased, but more often incompetent. It is a very popular stigma here that the Malay Muslim majority is lazy and incompetent.

Local movies at the cinema will almost always end with a verse of the Quran as a disclaimer to not do X. I will intentionally laugh out loud to make it an obvious point that I enjoyed the movie but fucking hate Islam. 

It's to a point where I can see the irrationality in bringing in Muslims by the hordes to european countries that get so much flak from far right groups. In regards to Muslims, I am now as far right as Hitler. 

I truly truly hate Islam and Muslims to the bone. I wish to change that, but given my environmental circumstances I can't find it rational to be more tolerant of the intolerant. Can anyone help?

",6.261081871345028,7.797098846003902,6.988942495126707,70.33616228070177,66.3879142300195,9.442690058479533,34.71783625730994,9.725611199111238,3.67806783625731,2240,105,360,48,36,740,271,513,0.17600000000000002,0.701,0.123,-0.9855,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,1,0,4,2,18,23,10,0,38,0,35,9,5,5,6,61,58,34,3,2,17,0,1,1,2,8,1,2,0,2,14,20,1,2,5,6,0,5,14,13,0,1,6,12,41,10,62,40,11,64,14,0,7,3,17,46,4,10,11,247,55,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111702815624894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281986892480183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799947369484335,0.0,0.09179746348347373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720032843340561,0.12319998004336355,0.0,0.12568045540363318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800680350853783,0.0960918275120612,0.1169597321477824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548053760974714,0.0988016089408617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879740714250366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051609223553725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195614313368404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618449084861539,0.20625531672373446,0.1165622156543103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33040233658646195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477068729153308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161638272701193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120114177047488,0.0,0.0,0.05449847795905775,0.0,0.09850210812508396,0.0,0.18735050107601695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446156042567552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200326262779445,0.0,0.17207094451979565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755902523697962,0.0,0.11869876930671132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245016047847213,0.3163569611455517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673981756660826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905289168893776,0.0,0.08871031111885845,0.0,0.0,0.2666765520423138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889916512472662,0.0,0.0932621340696484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513606455416867,0.0,0.08387292179874642,0.1793219040829265,0.0975010168245176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504663609409914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418284200018715,0.0,0.0,0.09204175412840376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282788368508937,0.2150635268480704,0.0,0.08121089469642563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AIP9,2018/04/13,Does anyone have some explanation for this? I’m just wondering if this is something wrong with me or just some personal issues. I can’t seem to have feeling about anything at all. From things like relationships to deaths I can’t seem to care less. I’ve had a few girlfriends in the past year or two and however I have some feeling for them and I to an extent enjoy their company I wouldn’t care in the slightest if anything happened to them. There’s also been a few deaths in my family like my great grandparents and my dog and through all of those I didn’t shed a single tear or feel any sadness at all. I’ve also been lousy with my schoolwork lately I know the information just I can’t seem to make myself do anything. Sometimes I also think about harming others or myself with no particular reason or trigger. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a year now and nothing has changed. Does anyone have any ideas on what this is or what I can do about it?,3.792912280701753,5.444655273684212,4.627894736842105,84.44359649122809,72.57894736842105,7.382456140350878,26.87719298245614,8.021203637495839,1.6418666666666666,762,27,149,11,15,246,103,190,0.081,0.8029999999999999,0.116,0.6966,2,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,11,9,0,0,9,0,19,0,0,3,3,40,34,16,2,3,11,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,12,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,4,20,6,24,28,11,11,0,1,1,0,7,6,0,15,7,114,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200924642323761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146300734232715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18658346432236952,0.0,0.3293846985383907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720651475728389,0.0,0.14114273577263756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233516901392858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577834358963313,0.0,0.20238644584034574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709817484772714,0.0,0.0,0.11798459292195874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506171454208347,0.0,0.1392578554303679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733252164044841,0.0,0.15050577509449808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036645423633866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906019005606762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802196287426476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736635170508576,0.0,0.1164989035452838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717998967980238,0.0,0.1432452463774583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632002280824172,0.3643870066954546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271473827619436,0.13195772368553813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549131716077179,0.08863961742058869,0.08549140051455077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033386168390124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469041726284007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587596131542774,0.0,0.17183872739561226
mentalhealth,4flannels,2018/04/13,"My acquaintance friend wants a specific diagnosis and I don’t understand why. A girl I went to high school with has been diagnosed as bipolar by 4 separate psychiatrists, but she is not satisfied with this diagnosis—she thinks she has borderline personality disorder, therefore wants to be diagnosed as such (which is why she’s seen 4 separate doctors). 
I have personally been diagnosed with BPD, and she knows this, and in the past she has asked me what I told my psychiatrist to receive this diagnosis. I interpreted this as her asking for the answers to help her reach her golden diagnosis. I found this extremely troubling and offensive, as I was quite upset when I was initially given this diagnosis. She is obviously mentally ill, but I sort of feel inclined to trust the opinions of 4 separate psychiatrists that she does not have BPD.
I just want to know, why is a diagnosis so important to some people? Is it important to you?",8.080892857142857,8.792380541666667,9.013190476190477,60.3651428571429,62.03571428571429,14.100952380952382,40.01428571428572,13.187427743715654,6.1018171428571435,753,39,124,31,10,257,96,168,0.134,0.76,0.105,-0.8494,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,1,6,0,16,6,0,1,1,28,31,12,0,3,5,0,1,0,1,0,6,0,0,3,10,7,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,9,2,24,2,20,21,1,6,0,0,1,0,20,2,0,3,2,89,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26873676924768186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620464448860175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376495446295189,0.0,0.0,0.16472732242118493,0.14711400456610446,0.12577931319368052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267433465035768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759280400133804,0.11104563711692124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633935904480397,0.15185890388929404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579807766225538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484628955219173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372067901372077,0.09964446027179216,0.2509994263942522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287481643007705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546268967350642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209654270459533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373404163979868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962826254517098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543274818548109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323938472767533,0.38908259322196503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trifledboxette,2018/04/13,"Can the word ""love"" become a negative trigger to one's psyche? I know it sounds so stupid, but I'm being serious.

Lately I've realized that whenever the L word is directed/implied towards me, I feel...uncomfortable, confused, ""cold in the stomach"", and anxious. I react to it as if it were the most ugly, disgusting, dehumanizing word someone could use against another and it concerns me...a lot.

I like to think I'm pretty self aware and try to understand my thought process and feelings, etc., so the only possible cause to this behavior, that I can think of - is my most recent break up. (I'd also like to add that this was my first relationship - ever.) We met when I was 17 in high school and dated for a little over nine years, he fell out of love with me and it's been about two and a half months since I was dumped. 
I went through one of the worst depressive cycles I ever experienced, but am doing a lot better....I suppose.
When I think back, I know I was a very open person, passionately and shamelessly wore my heart on my sleeve, but I've definitely built very high walls since the break up. Grown very guarded, emotionally distant and ""independent"" as well. It makes me a little sad, but it's my understanding that I am probably still in the healing process? Cause it doesn't hurt as bad as it use to, but then again, nothing really hurts anymore; I feel numb. Seems as though I've been living as a ghost these last couple of months. 
On a positive note: whatever it is I'm going through, its enabled me to grow stronger mentally...at least that's what I've come to believe. For example, I don't complain anymore. And anytime I feel negative or highly emotional towards a person or situation, I'm quick to reason with myself and calm down which is HUGE for someone who's lived with bad anxiety. But, yeah....

I don't know what I'm talking about. I feel like I'm rambling and am all over the place. So I'll just end it by saying that I fear I may have developed a warped view of love. I mean, it makes sense considering the factors above, doesn't it?

I'd really like some insight, opinions, criticism, and perspective on this matter. Thank you so much in advance.
",5.057325660121869,5.894795900473938,6.002549085985105,78.87114928909955,68.66824644549763,9.440893703452947,31.422139471902504,9.606745405546679,2.8592319566689235,1698,69,330,36,28,562,223,422,0.14400000000000002,0.685,0.171,0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,81.0,1,1,0,3,18,26,3,2,20,1,25,8,2,10,3,75,59,37,1,2,10,0,4,4,0,1,2,2,0,3,28,21,0,1,18,0,0,7,6,15,1,6,11,9,34,11,48,45,10,51,0,4,1,4,15,24,0,12,22,212,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762575585316694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867266905948848,0.06469118606992744,0.09553318709910998,0.16772941984033374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502445348878752,0.14121472281461142,0.0,0.0933942328328488,0.0,0.0952746072716403,0.0,0.07478993688161578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737409303949539,0.0,0.07284435037113318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751742864110652,0.0935683961415858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283480147284098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024611110149356,0.07489855490589402,0.0,0.09431115157084437,0.0,0.15298585832915473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515794772251507,0.21379035597122747,0.060412498837316565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193004798009374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805963842813441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002086813751678,0.0,0.2680393506958606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105490313025652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942239705354026,0.06893090135523182,0.09539181272611832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652546871437028,0.1695105762401687,0.14934302452845394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143786483133077,0.228966784485724,0.0,0.1128941791880978,0.0,0.0,0.09211492631482912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13499626740291912,0.0,0.062164229249207836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114138543630123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460543463129942,0.06431469037871608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476759490831802,0.08835132346953663,0.0,0.0,0.09533314144157852,0.0,0.08603193282885549,0.09117423482568318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083476564422878,0.08694581903644788,0.08349669330943076,0.09079002920496372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724864280329414,0.0,0.08558322647313862,0.0,0.0769838390602158,0.08821863680967452,0.0,0.0,0.13990433747665568,0.09505341669239983,0.0,0.0,0.14330151148485915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753287530204448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796929535238494,0.0,0.07785511855825412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625554832521983,0.08308364610268172,0.06713432603744841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741336738274268,0.0,0.08260668614088955,0.1760680970347539,0.0,0.14607219367614316,0.0,0.20932233136043465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760331418141781,0.0783916237482247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445640771101536
mentalhealth,blakat1033,2018/04/13,"Massive procrastination problem I'm not sure if this is the appropriate subreddit for this problem but it's the closest I could think of, if you can think of a MORE appropriate subredit please share.

My profession is video game programming, which is a very tasking excise of your brain. Some times I burn myself out but one of my biggest issues is procrastination. I will go to sleep determined to get a certain component working in my game, I wake up and do my morning routines and then open up my IDE (programming stuff) and quickly think of a quick thing to search online, that quick thing turns into 40 minutes of distractions. After this time I start writing code and I realize that I need music for ambiance, this always back fires because it either alters my mood or makes me day dreams of all the epic scenes in the games I want to make that match with the music. The work just piles up and the day goes on until I realize its dark out and nothing go down. And then when it comes time to just stop because my brain is too exhausted to perform optimally I start working hard and just get a migraine from it being too late. The process has become a almost daily routine and on top of stress from private life, my brain fog from my fabromyalgia and the many many distractions the Internet offers to procrastinators it makes it very hard to all deal with. By the end of the day I want to relax and unwind but the guilt of that lost work day triggers my anxiety issues and ruins my free time enjoyment. I take pride in being strong willed, being strong willed is something I have to be to get through some of the health problems I have. So to be so weak willed as to allow myself to be distracted from what I love to do is very depressing.

Does anyone have any advice on how to improve this in any metric?",7.288120734111935,7.030512060518737,7.10727134839982,76.63564689822542,63.84149855907781,10.071833763082056,33.24874867283482,9.549672527348893,2.92560288184438,1443,52,269,24,19,458,182,347,0.126,0.72,0.154,0.9473,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,10,13,24,0,5,20,0,25,11,5,6,4,57,47,26,0,9,11,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,21,19,0,1,5,7,1,3,1,13,0,1,1,3,31,11,54,35,6,43,0,3,0,1,10,18,0,6,22,192,52,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598176891129387,0.0,0.0,0.09835552123505123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172888514936824,0.0,0.0,0.13358916755268568,0.0,0.07513984868953516,0.0,0.0,0.06867936898813748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552694413402478,0.0,0.1197508973191888,0.10847889720169646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289459666629178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460987960334937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842257469998068,0.0,0.0,0.2533812267915938,0.1012629565857874,0.08459878840505146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595506302754309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869958710698289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395141222971764,0.0,0.11164407947816253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597591186681558,0.0,0.0,0.10440579245812352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050372828553445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107991182402052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937736885353303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722132611740552,0.0,0.08864952907489647,0.0,0.19669259579551068,0.1991641450293097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283064713198971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424701871368496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655802390054953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781867307283663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28195664544086085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829331088921904,0.0,0.0,0.0756163836512598,0.0,0.0,0.1390446063687414,0.0,0.0,0.08211830432919942,0.11251339969350543,0.0,0.11244112086680344,0.0,0.0,0.0925734268377988,0.0,0.07385100272426746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305091641192363,0.18881079722392774,0.0,0.0,0.2290970289990087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683773967483703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431312403016117,0.11586820427725116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28602823780752396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SolarSupremacy,2018/04/13,"Can anyone explain this? (Strange experience) This happened one morning many months ago. I'm not entirely sure if it was a dream or if I was awake. Onto the story.

I woke up in my bed in the middle of the night, everything normal, pitch black. However, slowly everything starter to get brighter and there was a distant high-pitch screaming sound. It continued to get more intense until all I could see was blindingly bright whiteness and ear-peircing high pitch demonic screaching. Like, these things were more intense than your senses can naturally read anyway. It felt brighter than staring into the sun and louder than the loudest thing I can imagine. I don't think I moved at all and I don't know if that's because I couldn't or was too scared to.

Can anyone explain what the hell happened to me that night?

It sounds like sleep paralysis *and* a panic attack at the same time, neither of which I am diagnosed with or have notable experience with.",4.0851069518716585,6.731599409090912,4.2033288770053465,83.3665374331551,74.79545454545455,6.868449197860963,29.67112299465241,7.928766900206844,2.228398128342246,760,34,132,12,17,235,111,176,0.106,0.7929999999999999,0.101,-0.5793,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,0,3,9,2,2,10,0,16,3,1,0,3,28,28,12,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,13,8,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,5,0,1,8,10,12,4,19,18,6,18,2,0,6,0,3,9,1,6,10,92,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989008396284106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069048429602026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953299277708248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620022691537644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599938122079207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017501970311965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836610149221665,0.3087392195092863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152347512951106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489964998999446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279103799964059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334723395152076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672889410745066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541971365247248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999576098505286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596337347427178,0.16772830316872295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296190192739425,0.15462144402766048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693693568250057,0.0,0.0,0.1851574103630936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785387993725455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579965155482351,0.0,0.1257550737903289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792514333487698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873516386926008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20968546347242828,0.10111902815837716,0.0,0.0,0.092020964638783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PeachyCloudz,2018/04/13,"Explaining My Schizophrenia Imagine a world, a world in which everyone can communicate with each other brain to brain on another plain.  Where our true intentions are revealed and any and every problem is argued about for hours. A place where every human reaction in the physical world matches to the metaphysical somehow. (Possibly connections I've made) You have had every conversation possibly imagined with the people you call your friends. You cannot think of anything new to say to this person in the physical world, you are too worn out and do not want to repeat previous conversations. You hear voices predicting the future which are sometimes correct and others not. Sometimes to the extent where it possibly could not be a coincidence but as a factual man I disregard. They try to convince you this is real, this is happening. Everybody communicates with each other in another realm. This place is scary, dark, and hurtful. Tears you to the core, finds anything it can to get at you. To ruin your day. Then proceed to lift you back up; mental abuse in a way. You are a tormented soul walking in what seems two realms. They love you, they hate you, they make you fear them, try and take your body. All's you want is silence, it's no where to be found. You want peace, there is no peace here. 

This is me. This is my experience with schizophrenia thus far. I want to kill my demons but they decieve me. They know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it to manipulate me into their realm. I would love to believe in it but there isn't a way. My dad and mom think I'm a psychopath, my roommates are poisoning me, my coworkers are mentally abusing me, my own self is destroying my very existing; they say. But I'm too strong to firmly believe in there bullshit. They will get to me, but I will NEVER take action. Never. I've dedicated my life to eraticating such behavior. No more I said, after withdrawing myself from society. After hating the people I loved. After destroying my ego, life, and body. I'm getting better. And I will; will succeed. I'm like you, just broken. I may have soul crushing social anxiety, I may look away the second we make eye contact, I may sit there twitching because I dont know what to do with my limbs, I may bite my cheeks and other compulsive things. But I promise I'm good, as they say I'm not. As they say they are tired of my bullshit and to delete this immediately otherwise they will be forced to take action. Fuck it. Here you go Reddit. I hope you enjoyed the read and maybe understand what this crazy disease is:) ",3.874998801246704,6.125887206185568,4.720589786621916,81.30756892831457,73.84536082474227,8.058019659554066,27.56772956125629,8.841846274778883,2.3309429393430827,2025,79,372,43,43,654,230,485,0.209,0.682,0.109,-0.9954,0,0,0,0,1,0,70.0,2,21,14,3,19,26,8,1,19,0,41,15,6,7,6,74,81,25,1,8,11,2,0,1,1,10,5,10,0,4,26,23,0,1,12,1,0,4,12,12,0,2,5,12,71,14,54,62,6,46,3,2,2,4,63,25,1,7,15,265,97,2,0.0,0.18300910172386664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251883574214356,0.1619641220120086,0.059080499464282836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710690464772695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255983354615363,0.05938486249667714,0.0,0.04707850061121471,0.0,0.0,0.1740228221441919,0.0,0.06830338249003146,0.0,0.17156954500093322,0.0,0.17242774503051986,0.07886014561906074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166162114184784,0.0,0.0,0.04980675931213635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090512618441138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520802753854324,0.0737962759040448,0.0,0.07554545347985372,0.0,0.08690486944180112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058653513817538,0.0,0.0,0.08467836598713903,0.05966746489885319,0.07139760152689342,0.1210479723660951,0.0,0.04389141110100855,0.06477659764271068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829395750157041,0.0,0.0,0.15249665476665453,0.0,0.0,0.0870434705681236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670650540346252,0.0760556853405782,0.0,0.08267597765041954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544320656383317,0.0,0.08488683291442346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909922430960027,0.03773052423521099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485348661148001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910842434586016,0.07307659754152,0.10310283205865706,0.0,0.07758760135598983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565872053999955,0.0,0.0,0.09045047646683883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191285919444794,0.07458891332723205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708268221960326,0.0674339841386222,0.1613771716372086,0.0,0.0,0.26119460566603425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738983807324762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725058683744969,0.08790429197697124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734631181257175,0.4299130302810287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030700685313031,0.08056740711385113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872594052741749,0.0,0.0,0.1527642711679324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742013406860439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05130797263572611,0.09897133055927716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876416470565794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486777649221753,0.0,0.075442182664846,0.08039882822131991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372258024163563,0.1822082822927734,0.12260266220386627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486175409190947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,regeenuhhh,2018/04/13,"I carry around pepper spray and boy does this come in handy Because of past traumatic experiences, I get extreme anxiety walking back home at night in the shady parts of NYC. Ever since I bought pepper spray, I have felt more confident in walking around now that I am assured a form of protection. 

If you ever feel anxious and paranoid like me, I strongly suggest you make the investment!",8.142464788732394,8.370525464788734,7.619823943661974,72.04691901408455,61.95774647887324,10.480281690140846,38.87676056338028,10.125756701596842,4.119278873239438,312,15,51,6,4,98,54,71,0.123,0.7340000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.358,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,3,12,8,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,5,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,9,3,9,6,3,15,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,7,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777540676535032,0.26249963301668405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4136977057062143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866979733659685,0.0,0.14164394442417452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001567813279764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333900526854448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203641989509179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272917759757721,0.0,0.0,0.11748773738016804,0.0,0.2231011649180606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139803411947706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330751124077015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351891433420278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510149669690826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180532652811388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516222509564589,0.22181304313237016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220984016247994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laceblood,2018/04/13,"Mental Health Support Discord Hello there! We are The Retreat, a mental health support discord server.
We support each other by sharing experiences, offering advice, or just an ear.
We are non judgemental, LGBTQ+ friendly, and come from all walks of life.
We are not illness specific, we are open to any one who identifies with Mental Illness or struggles.
https://discord.gg/weG3v6U",7.017634660421545,10.877926360655742,5.798735362997661,69.00967213114757,72.27868852459017,7.420140515222482,36.58313817330211,8.418075326091056,4.1164548009367685,312,17,37,6,7,93,46,61,0.136,0.628,0.236,0.7814,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,5,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,3,0,4,6,1,0,1,15,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,5,5,5,8,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,2,0,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754697373199096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211098214348982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468013891669327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756499242708411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387321831844132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817403489247064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683271861687356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.542880634416437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167851356391772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877212859351441,0.0,0.0,0.6113078290129413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emcornfield,2018/04/13,"Would you tell a potential employer about your mental illness? I am graduating from college in two months and have started my job search but my biggest hinderance is I was out of work for 2 years because of my mental health issues (bipolar/schizoaffective) and in that time I was hospitalized for a psychotic episode. 

While I wouldn’t go into details would it be inappropriate to explain my gap in employment honestly by saying something like: 

“I struggled with some mental health issues that prevented me from working but I have worked with doctors and counsellors for the past three years overcoming the obstacles I faced and was able to work part time and attend school full time as I am now in a healthy mental state” ?

Or would it be more appropriate to say something along the lines of:

“I experienced some medical issues that prevented me from working over that time but at this time I am back in good health” 

I’m torn about this because I am basically incapable of lying and feel the latter response is somewhat dishonest. ",10.106426426426427,9.29860175675676,9.201801801801805,65.70192192192194,58.45945945945946,12.762762762762765,42.17717717717718,11.855464076750405,5.176483483483484,835,40,135,21,9,263,109,185,0.122,0.7909999999999999,0.087,-0.8347,3,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,5,4,4,0,1,7,0,17,7,1,0,0,26,22,12,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,4,6,2,0,0,8,11,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,3,4,19,3,29,13,6,27,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,4,14,101,27,12,0.10925400935597912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400958934721882,0.0,0.133200460088705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182610806461264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552421098460614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209157127663656,0.0916370795264306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34839570899280764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34209840205464825,0.10841774611561013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337599033815603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006192032141036,0.44040937845433503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720550792389327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831144540703595,0.10429531427912177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376634674943384,0.0,0.11057089026143337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682181481403878,0.0,0.0,0.07733055014946212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421601216750203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549281974251704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31853445726470464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672529191233232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39769110010062064,0.0,0.0,0.2328327407874679,0.0,0.0,0.14071199998369804
mentalhealth,2stressed4,2018/04/13,"It is too late? Hi, I've had OCD my whole life though I only found out about 2 years ago. 

I'm at a good place right now, job I love and happy. Sometimes I feel chest pains (heart burn I believe) when I think about things that are on my mind that I want to resolve.

I've been thinking lately of myself in high school and how obsessed I was with getting perfect grades. It was really unhealthy and occupied my every moment basically for four years. I've had other obsessions that I've stressed about since then. 

I've mentally taxed myself so much which shows in my reduced energy.

High anxiety, a couple near fainting occasions, etc.

Is this all in my head or have I caused damage to myself and if so what can I do to reverse it.

I'm happy with where I am and I'm glad for my hard work but I feel like I might have laid the foundation for severe problems down the road.

Thank you for listening. Any advice please? ",2.03475241545894,4.217033646739131,3.210797101449277,90.24966183574881,79.38043478260869,6.262801932367151,21.63526570048309,7.3871296695380915,0.7358403381642509,717,21,148,10,18,231,123,184,0.109,0.742,0.149,0.8207,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,3,11,15,0,3,4,0,14,7,3,2,2,25,27,14,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,11,8,0,0,6,1,1,0,0,6,0,1,6,4,22,9,21,20,4,23,0,1,0,1,4,14,0,3,10,94,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322388521272049,0.11995819885286542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202621692731346,0.0,0.1035239030539143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524658891866274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901692276334127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973547649290525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092409190904887,0.0,0.0,0.11401786320635947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684962932355774,0.09667681260502337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837780707179174,0.0,0.0,0.07070217003201634,0.0,0.0,0.11350490052272605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881137624080267,0.12122537879465806,0.0,0.13888336120332873,0.0,0.0,0.16036178104123447,0.0,0.28595837590691164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429002267800486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30530690107060826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955846482603988,0.06611337359225827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213686098362987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637662545846646,0.1435593389969281,0.13664052907008556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948006881895642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292140515883708,0.14399624308795222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138670816235346,0.1485471431372278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294885600521214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669320322497838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155675344905865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695698253034572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287968888047954,0.0,0.11194293959999163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384072360501734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501530127194652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458985892086527,0.0,0.0,0.08990448004328283,0.17342267791980467,0.13295695823542966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981869111948227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510864761435967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851882881683256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429081811688324
mentalhealth,PurityLake,2018/04/13,"Worried about a person in my head might control me sometimes Pretty much to give the lowdown on this section of my problems, I basically share my brain with someone who I've dubbed ""Devin"", he can speak to me through thought and sometimes externally but that sound ethereal and hard to understand and rather scary imo. Basically recently, I've""had conversations with"" people that I can not even fathom having, it doesn't feel like normal forgetfulness as usually with that I remember images from that conversation that indicates I at least interacted with them. Devin has been getting stronger lately, the frequency we have conversations and how often he shows me self harming myself in my head. I have an appointment with my doctor soon enough but I just felt like ranting on here. Essentially I'm rather paranoid that Devin might become the dominant force in my brain or at the least manifest himself in my day to day life. If that were to happen I won't have anyone left in my life who will care about me, he is trying to insinuate to me right now that he is the real me and that I am the defect in my brain, I don't know what to believe",9.587405660377355,8.292168966981134,8.986490566037737,68.39341509433963,59.801886792452834,12.25358490566038,39.12452830188679,11.20814326018867,4.336573962264152,919,38,161,20,10,293,128,212,0.12,0.828,0.052000000000000005,-0.9214,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,1,11,7,0,0,8,0,18,8,5,2,0,34,28,11,0,5,8,0,3,2,0,4,3,2,0,2,14,11,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,5,28,4,29,20,5,20,0,0,0,0,18,13,0,5,9,121,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912578388682633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414153576671904,0.0,0.1470436427941303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370875630391221,0.0,0.0,0.13306686896956582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638161121326113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834038742248805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358575369553438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485498680535046,0.0,0.08620271393933016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659913772126786,0.0932386304569886,0.1253131046609206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818774147069692,0.12520011942082973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541235992067375,0.0,0.1169141595681474,0.0,0.2678883186760915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172662173384999,0.0,0.1472245337731154,0.0,0.1418029345891697,0.0,0.18437061496687124,0.12752427893579724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769076844117765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594219259525444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787519017564536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904813947948162,0.1139590606989309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277880814251758,0.0,0.12488347178380176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855255362796788,0.0,0.0,0.1288660042489368,0.0,0.14784597281914938,0.11145752896525664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615369394115753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058338034687873,0.0,0.2581617128667261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361287377369936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860987126366393,0.0,0.0,0.13586880654362465,0.0,0.0,0.14374181141224776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254245332679665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frostmas,2018/04/14,"Might have bed bugs, parents act like there is something wrong with me... My nephew came over yesterday and was covered in bites that look like bed bug bites(in lines of 3 and everything). Im assuming his mother might have them but she is insisting they are fleas.

My brother is taking my nephew to his friends today and before he left, i checked his toy bag( the same one he brought here) to look for signs of bed bugs. I also checked the couch. I'm worried that if he does have them, we do too now. My parents were looking at me with that awkward smile people do and kind of laughed. My dad said there is something mentally wrong with me. They seem to know we might have them but they don't seem to be doing anything and get mad when i mention it.

Is there? They always make it seem like i don't know anything and its really messing up my head. It always feels like i have to deal with everything by myself because they like to pretend problems don't exist.



Here is a picture of the bites. They don't look like flea bites, do they? https://imgur.com/a/5dcSO",3.3420289855072447,5.373033661835752,3.317222222222224,91.76250000000003,74.70048309178743,6.1458937198067645,25.99275362318841,6.937597516519254,0.9740318840579718,836,30,171,8,18,253,112,207,0.09,0.787,0.123,0.8162,2,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,10,0,9,15,1,1,4,0,26,1,1,1,0,30,43,11,0,2,3,7,1,6,1,3,0,1,4,0,7,13,0,0,7,2,2,3,4,6,0,1,5,6,31,9,20,34,1,12,0,0,4,0,30,5,0,8,10,108,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079077817617184,0.18893393690170973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18685284060866988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920750367717952,0.0,0.09660660256864004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984933125863374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170455770630784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935182906721593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406886098685967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740473445452675,0.08110663920586979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771384480778635,0.0,0.05931531296224021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651566042870945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263306804067653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182251680914054,0.12478744490154027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335187033193155,0.0,0.0,0.33279335928488496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38135011564686333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578288960128188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441264414006072,0.3613156619124614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693161031712736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25212569800096696,0.0,0.0,0.0787081685616604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863392822374976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273092860742612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799407270442138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100633434889223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748035719732686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536125669238129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076142062072083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152963411061297,0.0,0.0,0.2482568668422635,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokenX2,2018/04/14,"Sorry I made your day worse. When I’m at work, at college, any time I need to interact with people I don’t know very well. I feel they are judgemental to me: ‘She is blunt’, ‘she is moody’, ‘she’s not listening’, ‘why does she seem so tired, uninterested and awkward’, ‘she doesn’t want to talk’, ‘weird’. What they don’t think about, I have a disorder which makes social interactions absolute torture. It has always been an alien concept to me, making friends, which I had to try and decode, like some complex physics. And yes, I don’t understand what you say the first time because my brain literally is struggling to keep up all the time. When you tell me ‘it’s on the third shelf on the left hand side behind the door to the right’. I hear ‘it’s on the shelf something something door’ something. I know I’m not always chirpy or want to have tedious small talk. I sometimes wake up and don’t know how much longer I can last. I appear exhausted because I have a disorder that makes my joints flimsy and my muscle tone poor, so just standing up for long periods of time and doing daily tasks is more exhausting for me.  

Should I mention that I have PTSD from having severely mentally ill parents, being raped, and homeless as a teen. Should I mention I lived with my mother only till the age of 7? Should I mention I changed schools and foster family almost every year? Should I mention I developed an eating disorder because everyone at school and my own father called me a ‘fat, ugly bitch’ (I wasn’t overweight). Should I mention that my anxiety score is sometimes as high as it can possibly get? 

And I don’t tell you because I know you won’t even know what it is. You won’t understand. You will stigmatise me. I just fake a smile and pretend your judgements don’t hurt me. Pretend I don’t notice the fact you treat me differently to others. 

Should I just give up on trying to work and achieve something more than doing housework for my fiancé ? Would that make your day a little more pleasant? What if I didn’t have a partner? Should I just accept a life of mere unemployment or homelessness? And people wonder why there are homeless people in the world and suicide. Because the ‘normal’ people don’t make room for people who are a bit different. ",5.057013888888889,6.221969192129631,5.404240740740743,81.96483333333336,68.88425925925925,8.26,29.677777777777766,8.548686976883017,2.195388333333334,1769,66,334,27,30,563,216,432,0.14800000000000002,0.789,0.063,-0.9889,5,0,4,0,0,1,47.0,0,10,2,4,13,17,3,2,22,1,45,12,4,7,2,63,73,26,1,13,9,3,2,1,2,11,7,3,3,1,17,16,3,1,13,2,1,1,15,11,1,2,5,5,62,6,39,56,8,37,0,1,0,1,40,20,1,8,16,225,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178800172306441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592408673115772,0.0,0.0,0.055543353991641856,0.0,0.062482898742449035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489485712976412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891704399582856,0.0,0.0,0.09117886130637816,0.08340163908921297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640373651009993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053501824462791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067075542999427,0.28082773114939164,0.0,0.07147634169110041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357625234582915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394707580231975,0.0,0.06881663452973913,0.07804614511882807,0.0,0.0,0.07699807431607353,0.0,0.04129848894661741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694746560933589,0.0,0.0,0.06310366705257052,0.0,0.042673009813793496,0.07835229338148922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205623525554987,0.0,0.0,0.0862965349994653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743722187195035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259852291367838,0.0,0.0,0.2244384963589227,0.06657788782770302,0.0,0.0,0.08874260811158832,0.0,0.05769108121316417,0.03990339531089177,0.0818620960167575,0.07212253821885242,0.07228182615551458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728502104810228,0.27260110671015114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231149162643615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004220169007327,0.06056267119857705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002639664566459,0.0,0.0929901292513976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062119255044132876,0.0,0.0,0.09069295808954,0.0,0.0,0.2831237231771486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920788655359462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547637421926584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975195430691185,0.0,0.06495305456764004,0.0,0.16532354401395202,0.0,0.07435593182052555,0.0,0.09227208246892826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325970523239215,0.0,0.2515166546301478,0.16156184482868965,0.09143103248319928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538683133520117,0.0,0.08934169199786543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129821408771225,0.1427790926743122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233550563904185,0.0,0.0,0.19050672465799884,0.09387602280875568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090702887287347,0.0,0.0,0.17005786641330875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739231328355247,0.096350756643634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343768741402035,0.0,0.1474020895437669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857553043929653,0.11892407112936933,0.0,0.08323613033887843,0.058021199157774074,0.0,0.0,0.052597493037256825
mentalhealth,Shutternutter,2018/04/14,"Bordem in a Unit. So my friend from school has been in mental units nearly 7 years. Shes greatly improved and was recently allowed unsupervised visits into the local town. Unfortunatly my friend had a small set back which took this away. Shes been a little down seeing as she's being checked on every 5 minutes. Yesterday she told me ""there's only so much colouring and puzzles you can do"". 

I'm looking to send my friend a few small items that can help her break Bordem. It's quite tough to think of ideas because she's not allowed anything of risk, no batteries etc. 
Also it has to be something reasonably small. If it helps she loves flamingos and told me she's thinking of beginning photography when she goes back home. I love photography but obviously it's hard without a camera! 
Any help or suggestions will be greatly apreichiated ",4.427142857142859,6.840453993630575,5.017966333030028,79.06014331210194,72.75796178343948,7.543039126478617,29.04868061874432,8.418075326091056,2.376079526842585,675,28,116,12,14,216,110,157,0.04,0.8220000000000001,0.138,0.935,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,7,9,0,1,6,0,15,2,0,3,1,17,26,11,0,1,5,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,4,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,7,4,16,7,16,15,4,25,0,0,3,2,23,13,0,3,7,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907536131426348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125717837318696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225321004788638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989655148078414,0.22898998157600026,0.0,0.09076812283762543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606297863266908,0.0,0.0,0.12545476167443506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34511955859053023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283257860006221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338524839789034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994138079772509,0.0,0.1493589473197763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809009597385102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492370241022736,0.0,0.0,0.12503858794935455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26877631899893834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005628560052967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945871089033424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324524063418598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837359166245266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530941086855853,0.14702089165486354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506948571023207,0.11865410666126765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463057652921235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908183517524288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845608653314673,0.16543349698683088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435343890838049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588678665781344
mentalhealth,smosgal,2018/04/14,"Dear Mom, I can't begin to imagine your tourment I (38F) have a. Paranoid Schizophrenic mom (69). I grew up not ever knowing.what was going on. Mom.would be gone for months, becauss she was ""sick"". (I always knew her ""sick"" was different) Either on the run or in the hospital. My parents got divorced when I was 18. My dad took his life when I was 23. My moms last ""eipsode"" was from the time I was 19-21, most of which was spent in the hospital. Fast forward to 2015 and she stopped taking her meds, hospital stay, back on track. 2018 things took a turn in January.  Late February an event where we had to get the police involved and have her hospilitized fir her own safety. I went to see her yesterday for a family meeting. Just the 4 of us my mom, aunt and uncle, along with her Dr. Snd Social worker. It was the absolute saddest thing i've ever seen. So medicated she can only walk so slow. Very long delay on answers to questions. She hadn't had her hair washed in what looks like weeks. I could go on, but won't. I am sad for her, I am beside myself knowing what torture is in her head. I' ll go back in a few days after her nmeds are changed and hopefully she is not so out of u it. She asked me how my grandkids are,( I have no children.  A month ago she thought her brother shot me in the face and her sister was dead. All dillusions. I've seen bad, but not this bad in a while. Thanks for reading. ",1.7239423578508095,3.72561384859155,3.1375743348982787,91.3023656755347,79.52816901408453,6.179238393322903,23.54668753260303,7.2427474758485975,0.8675695357329167,1079,37,231,14,27,352,175,284,0.106,0.8390000000000001,0.055,-0.949,2,0,0,0,1,0,53.0,2,1,0,1,12,8,1,0,15,0,27,10,3,1,3,32,50,15,1,2,8,10,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,1,8,9,0,2,6,1,1,11,7,4,0,0,23,5,44,4,31,24,5,52,0,1,4,0,40,17,0,4,26,155,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540697628104654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895562895393752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061896765797074,0.0,0.0,0.16552074250197266,0.17973212013627474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385764260439382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593332447174629,0.0,0.0,0.06941206425646892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244982369772126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471392302674054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014634271711303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623192348475292,0.0,0.18350481880727013,0.0,0.08608106977963774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045882378085983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690028734025547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915030793168233,0.08773233269554198,0.1214106603276478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602183391063988,0.052582292219252376,0.0,0.0,0.09524863925584402,0.09038159563284806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955200906994225,0.10842530545827443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6302713096829219,0.17181753337903116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185701481601226,0.0,0.0,0.11950972059740812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056956920311812,0.0,0.10765853413202107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576670341782175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109714627452353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471862847087864,0.0,0.089983004485473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092392023530261,0.0,0.0,0.09909069849824602,0.0,0.0,0.14300839254130593,0.0,0.0,0.08544572769845804,0.06275957338751383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23916046516532846,0.0,0.1170698894346298,0.0,0.0,0.129464925867548,0.0,0.0,0.08880553353413287,0.0,0.0,0.0863338190604911,0.0,0.0,0.0997735395882938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645684346546736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrBauer24,2018/04/14,"Can I Get Fired Due To mental health Reasons Stopping Me Doing My Job/ UK Law Please :) I have a job and I passed the probation but I have found that certain elements of the job I will not be able to do at the moment due to mental health reasons. I would get a panic attack on the phone for example and end up hanging up on the client, that is 1 of several issues. Another issue is communting in to work, which brings on panic attacks.



My manager gave me a new job role which means I do not have to answer the phone or work evenings and weekends, which would bring on panic attacks, although he then said my probation starts again and I need to be able to answer the phones and work evenings and weekends after the next 3 month probation.



My questtion is, if I cannot answer phone calls or do evenings and weekends after my new 3 month probation, can they legally fire me? Or would it be illegal as its due to mental health issues?",5.7224407114624505,5.8858837934782615,6.068418972332019,81.3481225296443,67.04347826086956,9.08221343873518,31.40118577075099,8.841846274778883,2.4404413043478264,734,27,143,11,11,236,92,184,0.18600000000000005,0.775,0.039,-0.9864,4,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,4,7,3,3,11,0,20,3,0,2,1,28,30,15,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,7,3,0,4,3,6,0,0,3,3,18,1,22,20,0,31,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,4,19,98,25,9,0.19127833106406006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028600399279344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264100731327266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765828110794844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847079134531047,0.0,0.0,0.18950630051836048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486340856229648,0.0,0.0,0.09993503325899716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30497988201463266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29946732294046385,0.3796284577008241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417908884650096,0.0,0.0,0.2891453528534567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267653895360767,0.0,0.0,0.07091522940253406,0.0,0.1847378040723934,0.10171333754599084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33663586242739063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498308385177936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966659816949059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097474756949593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804503444503503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769389361565435,0.0,0.0,0.07995862482312655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088793546928455,0.0,0.0,0.20381795751672546,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Freeuser2345,2018/04/14,I've experienced multiple situations that I don't know if they were real or in my head Not sure how to move on and forget them. I try to believe they were imagined but the thought always creeps back that I'm wrong,7.981818181818181,5.8391917272727305,8.276363636363637,74.90954545454545,63.54545454545455,11.52727272727273,35.63636363636364,10.125756701596842,3.2158999999999995,172,6,36,3,2,57,37,44,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.7254,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,1,12,6,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,6,1,4,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25352490239528896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428633713525074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432791444148184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312697887125263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744860826818564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238352249481085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468017558667341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34248218376634465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28716492291014417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24188831277251174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068632156827386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331286002254237,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thislittlefan,2018/04/14,"I have multiple «issues» in my life, but i dont feel like any of them are major enough to seek out professional help I dont know exactly what i am (im not professional so i cant say for sure) but i do feel depressed sometimes and anxious among other things.

I told my parents this (im 16) and they listened and did not do anything at first because i did not suggest therapy at the time. They did not bring it up for months and later i told them again and then i suggested talking to someone. They were resistant, but set me up for an appointment with the school nurse.

When i tolf her how i felt she asked me if it prevented me from properly living my life. I said no because i always get up in the morning and i have friends and get good grades. After a few sessions i told her i did not think these talks did anything for me. One of my reasons for saying that was that most all of her replies to my problems were «yes, a lot of teenagers feel like that» and i felt like i should not complain. 


I have not brought the matter up again to my parents and neither have they. I have not told my doctor about this either and not reached out for any «help». I dont have severe mental problems, but theres something there, clouding my head is the only way i can describe it, i guess.

Just wrote this for outside opinion and some kind of support from people who might feel or have felt like me. Sorry if i have typos, i am norwegian.",2.934761619190404,4.398805903448277,3.853598200899552,89.8916566716642,74.44827586206897,6.560719640179911,27.091454272863565,7.079830092131019,1.184449775112444,1112,42,236,11,23,357,150,290,0.109,0.8170000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.8054,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,6,1,9,13,0,0,8,0,29,4,1,2,3,58,52,22,0,5,18,2,7,4,1,2,3,4,0,0,13,14,0,1,10,0,0,2,15,4,0,2,18,11,49,9,32,32,9,24,0,1,0,0,30,11,0,9,13,178,62,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127647005249462,0.0,0.0,0.13284967678306173,0.0,0.0,0.11034908275382292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076242895266402,0.0,0.09131636151551796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190880091161704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413048678828876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999782475807957,0.0,0.0,0.3434359863877761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009281670039413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975570617868188,0.13956330854215546,0.2813604951796555,0.0,0.0,0.08308541835631655,0.0,0.0,0.07546629046763588,0.0,0.10206613669703796,0.0,0.0,0.0819282257340204,0.0,0.0,0.10760405645653827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024648552586148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094389373417664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21101942923549769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171729326564727,0.05368163705678638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798665261711665,0.19088343748187864,0.0,0.0862520463977596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830429037695158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984371150844549,0.1036216223035425,0.0,0.0,0.07796617455904342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618958800697712,0.07428902255218027,0.0,0.0,0.21692118503517466,0.0,0.0,0.06771808400220343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693057179146835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042993090975064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929147739145894,0.155355982043901,0.0,0.0988560188055479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034908275382292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827628116980196,0.0751978046693944,0.09660669244603234,0.10934326287860158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084458590286607,0.09206098113645092,0.0,0.0,0.1570208139246562,0.0,0.0,0.1117040605696019,0.0,0.06489336144575569,0.0625885412813841,0.0,0.0,0.056957212197753064,0.0,0.0,0.3733445824953413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753277379612827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TwinkieInTheTrash,2018/04/14,"Need suggestions on how to deal with bipolar brain fog and memory loss. TL;DR I’m having memory loss and can’t concentrate on anything. I need suggestions to get myself back on track and back to normal!

Hey guys I’m sorry I’m advance if this post doesn’t make much sense. Like the title says, I’m a little fuzzy and confused right now.

I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed when I was 17 and I’m 22 now. I’ve dealt with the mania and the depression, but this is something I’ve never experienced before. I can’t remember anything and I can’t focus on anything. I’ll be heading to my bedroom and open up the linen closet. I forget what I’m saying in the middle of a sentence. I just plain can not grasp what is going on around me. I really have to think about what I’m typing or I’ll forget.

This is making me really angry and confused. I just can’t remember or focus and when people ask me about something I get very defensive because I usually don’t know what they’re talking about.

I just started taking depakote and I recently changed my lamictal dose. I also take trazadone and vistaril for sleep. Can any of these meds cause the fog? Can any of them cause you to get stressed out and angered really easily? Or is this just a new thing I have to deal with? I also recently stopped drinking if that does anything.

I’m really scared my brain is messed up and I’m not going to get better. I can’t go on like this I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m scattered and lost in a fog. Please tell me I’m going to be okay and give suggestions to get through this!

Thank you",1.1323761960718493,3.533621885093172,3.1587124391472234,87.91666358905495,84.80745341614906,6.3382239382239405,21.746180963572264,7.63319966405982,1.1253092831962404,1245,42,249,23,37,419,151,322,0.136,0.777,0.087,-0.9311,0,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,1,5,17,17,2,4,10,1,24,9,4,5,2,56,58,27,0,5,12,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,2,1,13,22,1,2,6,1,0,5,11,11,0,0,3,4,31,6,34,53,2,36,0,4,0,0,16,17,0,7,16,152,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534269265113906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320975436491359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197045335743454,0.08646241934407625,0.09079937071186306,0.0,0.0,0.14936725757341712,0.0,0.059206894074723626,0.0,0.08264677356201816,0.0,0.0,0.08589974360970376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21684869108030916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954959179951512,0.10274605812253336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002645584621383,0.08365417906802151,0.09858048914293734,0.0,0.0,0.11131440819777423,0.0,0.08499530986048749,0.0,0.0,0.09514615978997587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910964637722527,0.06938658297253676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537207141544713,0.09317177259883028,0.22079497809907087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616966247233916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967893650994077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337771657394079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423520581226275,0.09734541600972306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602411906883287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966424965213913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788470050487324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139852735340932,0.1440348759523266,0.07490928802910511,0.09380455692469906,0.0,0.0,0.09516251418283547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733469567957166,0.0,0.0,0.10661479619456328,0.0,0.0,0.09301952362602092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24888471088929526,0.0,0.1917997219035283,0.0,0.22004885335383872,0.08294477346521377,0.0,0.1544764286683997,0.0972397182437891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971957918705188,0.0,0.0,0.1495441392884297,0.0,0.10872421213663516,0.06874603418622202,0.0,0.0,0.08120139146941907,0.11125710264841536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605280105595286,0.07806591752235158,0.08489209811477688,0.08942024825402735,0.0,0.0,0.06452596538957349,0.062234194045909186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697018044231782,0.0801388321537977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whoopsieoopsie,2018/04/14,"I hate love and emotions I genuinely believe that emotions are not a healthy part of me, neither are deep human connections. Looking back, I deeply regret my moments of happiness and sadness, because I consider them ignorant and destructive. Love is a concept that has proven itself to be a lie and tool of manipulation, thanks to my parents. Love has made me become terrible, and I wish I've never felt it. In my eyes, I am bound to live a life of no emotions or love, but rather work and solo journeys, because anything else is dangerous and arrogant. 
I know how this sounds, but I've never been the emotional type of person, but anytime I did feel, it was part of a lie or mistake, and happiness turned me into a spoiled rat.
I'm supposed to analyze, create, discover, but not feel or rest. 
Isn't that sad?
All of my past mistakes are based on emotions and me being a naive child.
I adjust myself to the circumstances, and love has made matters worse for everyone. I have been taught a small lesson.
Sorry, had to get this out there.
",5.632456071846935,6.572007802030464,6.2529949238578695,77.2223740726279,67.42639593908629,9.310269426005467,34.443186255369,9.466822959209583,3.3086723155017577,815,38,146,16,13,266,119,197,0.189,0.657,0.154,-0.5662,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,4,18,3,0,10,0,18,7,1,4,3,42,37,18,0,5,10,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,8,12,0,2,6,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,9,6,20,8,18,26,5,12,0,3,2,5,10,6,0,3,5,105,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742740520321254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169287814573334,0.0,0.12952722468393346,0.11733499126822773,0.0,0.11969738251728353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875083920930975,0.5975349094857789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151796133863876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743742430439368,0.0,0.1020081544363464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055506610273759166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22619133637973154,0.0,0.10489112975702647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838735164069168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504125851783279,0.0,0.0,0.09381287231289072,0.0,0.0892157993861489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4794338801488485,0.2010558693673234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387943216905984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796821225446524,0.23009760119015604,0.10141918877094618,0.0,0.0927656648093784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892825720795352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781256699831853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155598515032484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221720668826424,0.0,0.0,0.07734481463987344,0.0,0.10826879724622897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,r-f-b,2018/04/14,"Need help with Vyvanse induced depression dilemma I’ve been prescibed 30mg, once a day for a month.  I am week one into this, and here is my experience:

* Day 1:  7:00 am dose, within one hour, great energy, motivation, focus, turned me into a morning person, increased my mood, confidence, and I feel normal for once in my life!!!
* Day 2:  More of the same, perhaps a little fatigue crash towards 1-2pm.
* Day 3:  Definite fatigue crash 1-2pm.
* Day 4:  Though not as spectacular, benefits still there in the morning, which is fine (not chasing that), but now fatigue crash at 1-2pm turns into a depression crash, don’t want to talk to anyone, or move, just want to be left alone.
* Day 5:  This persists, the depression turns dark, not good.
* Day 6: Try 30 mg at 7am, and 30 mg at noon, but all this does is postpones the depression crash to 7pm, and maybe makes it little more severe.
* Day 7: Ok, maybe the dose is too high, so try one 20mg in the morning, but this provides fewer positive benefits and still produces a fatgue, moody, depressive crash in the afternoon.
* Day 8:  Take nothing and experience an anxious depression all day.
* Day 9:  Take nothing and experience an anxious depression all day.

Now, I’m in a worse place than where I started.

Now, here’s the kicker, I know if I take the 30mg Vyvanse again today, this anxious depression will all melt away temporarily, but not sure if I am digging myself deeper into a hole, but it be offer me some good relief for half my day.  I also tried Adderrall IR in the past, but they do nothing for me, like sugar pill.  I also eat well and drink lots of water.  Any advice you could offer to get me out of this depressive slump brought on by this one week of Vyvanse trial would be much appreciated.  Do I give it more time or do I quit immediately?

Will most certainly consult with my physician, and I am not suicidal, rather looking for some suggestions from people who might have gone through a similar real life experience like this with Vyvanse.",4.51797744360902,5.940790226315793,5.508646616541357,79.7405263157895,70.42105263157895,8.481203007518799,30.150375939849624,8.942964678507748,2.5170112781954894,1546,63,291,29,28,509,198,380,0.234,0.6659999999999999,0.1,-0.9959,0,1,1,0,0,0,81.0,0,1,1,4,18,27,0,0,21,1,22,13,0,4,6,59,41,24,1,9,17,0,1,2,0,4,9,0,0,1,14,17,4,0,4,1,0,4,6,13,1,5,3,3,23,13,40,30,14,57,0,12,1,0,11,24,0,9,31,180,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06111857296422491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477809957767228,0.0,0.10003495619831344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253296942174902,0.0,0.0,0.21197526148975104,0.0,0.043733149245434345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876339674813569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993735693986736,0.0,0.0,0.5243753299457583,0.0,0.4848318125849505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547338400915352,0.0,0.0,0.06127061250575134,0.0,0.06399948742642454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244725338435664,0.0,0.0,0.03162479831151793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03267735365453798,0.05999918008228799,0.0,0.10492011134098693,0.0,0.06895644753633602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04192281654742112,0.06608257551186915,0.0,0.0,0.0615945516161769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034373277869153784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679556844511843,0.0,0.08835523304971442,0.061112978263340674,0.12537370455536315,0.0,0.0,0.05252232506606027,0.0,0.0,0.053173803237621414,0.0,0.0,0.041749493693818134,0.0,0.12567038203906986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635071156500598,0.0,0.0,0.049923085983350254,0.0664757879213508,0.04597801437923005,0.04637656995967762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128114413067325,0.18004179403809367,0.0,0.0,0.13321747116864255,0.1695293381758752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970659498894505,0.0433610568864008,0.05461216999243521,0.06534655814071925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652465770442,0.0,0.07119027887544742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065842049658366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426990675429142,0.0,0.09989756325170616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841443990588589,0.0,0.05894823367928768,0.0,0.14107891372545453,0.05027156737566906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145046952764462,0.0,0.03647068511444021,0.0,0.05928565995637476,0.0,0.0,0.12739252121190253,0.204094077293497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378171269064421,0.0,0.1003401826918301,0.0,0.056235763394024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373903504316594,0.04443040818100703,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThisIsEzra,2018/04/14,"“Think positive” ?! I don’t have mental health issues but I am going through a tough time due to something out of my control. Two people have said “just think positive” and I don’t know if they are saying it for the sake of saying something or if it means anything. My biggest fear is coming true and I can’t do anything to stop it. I can’t discuss it because it’s an ongoing case. 

What do they mean “think positive”? I understand the literal meaning of it but the situation I’m in is really shit. Mainly because all my defence is overriden for the long term goal of the court, including removing legal barriers in place for protection. I barely talk about it to anyone because it’s so private.  Am I missing something?",3.1627725511898213,5.459057352517989,4.879280575539571,79.12475373547318,76.19424460431655,8.017930271167682,30.83619258439402,8.841846274778883,2.98260996126176,568,28,100,13,13,192,84,139,0.116,0.7509999999999999,0.133,0.3812,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,2,3,6,2,1,7,0,14,2,1,1,2,24,27,8,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,9,4,0,5,8,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,1,3,13,1,15,26,3,13,0,1,0,0,7,5,1,3,5,70,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352697173402313,0.0,0.2436814751978742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27076794555353795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754055174310064,0.0,0.0,0.1660618431730833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660862638539176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414589148600891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573808216925722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453613872204136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136988595069249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310284119257373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838421291196263,0.0,0.0,0.14920962300878066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264613886923386,0.0,0.15469115291888585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485100637397814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083893433739333,0.23548645745094604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519814288017499,0.0,0.1664256067663376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419513892554178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123784762387717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900499334081835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846125460275584,0.0,0.0,0.08633495762616009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463307414233315,0.15413564762236598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jazdch,2018/04/14,"I’m too aware of my existence (17,f) Recently I’ve been becoming hyper aware of my existence and consciousness. I dissociate from everything around me and my mind goes beyond reality and is filled with questions “why are we here”, “is this a product of my imagination”, “what’s the purpose of all of this”, (I don’t intentionally start thinking of this or asking these questions, it’s like I slip into it out of nowhere) the permanence of death has also been on my recently too, it came after these episodes began. The dissociation can become so extreme that my head feels hot and I feel like I’ll pass out, it takes me a while to bring myself back to normal. I’ve suffered from extreme anxiety which I went to counselling for and I’ve also struggled with depression and have had symptoms of OCD which my therapist helped me to maintain. I used to have an extremely low self confidence and I find myself being quite paranoid (I feel like people I know can watch me through mirrors etc.)

I haven’t been to therapy in a while, I finished it a few months ago and it only really focused on my anxiety, I’ve been feeling okay, in fact quite happy recently but this awareness is starting to physically hurt my head and it scares me quite a bit. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and maybe if there’s a name for it or further information in how I can deal with this problem? ",4.504724310776943,6.333264334586468,5.586090225563911,77.57382205513787,71.06766917293233,8.976441102756892,31.08771929824561,9.48565724429506,3.0401974937343366,1107,49,202,26,21,366,148,266,0.102,0.8420000000000001,0.056,-0.9162,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,3,12,12,0,2,10,1,19,3,2,3,2,47,37,21,1,4,6,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,20,19,0,0,13,0,0,5,2,7,0,0,8,7,29,5,35,28,4,30,0,4,1,0,9,12,0,7,16,143,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833854684209498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774318176932268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973229486765795,0.0,0.0,0.0775694063251603,0.113667592398891,0.0,0.09875703816223877,0.10371068709995657,0.0,0.0,0.08530334952614027,0.0,0.0,0.2450413793463097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211139664859705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268818449092005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437069881126505,0.09554947707136263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267324189881576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372356390581242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970260655004456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22437138623704106,0.15850616891246253,0.0,0.0,0.1013939853623114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809400687636774,0.0,0.0,0.22770578504655334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435842255063664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187598576880383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060967819692024285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259396559960726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145066266231014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201427828179067,0.0,0.08854848572453748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869425255578102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437223565419325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690942679278362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615128394699802,0.0,0.0,0.2485486217252117,0.3539839887923289,0.0,0.0,0.07106878652527511,0.0,0.32860934147856324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106682693288708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573100282638935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704290426142092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597495575341556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530553915866285,0.08341046987238164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686559868638528,0.1288058703079584,0.0,0.07108365371930929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958135495545127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283928155843053,0.10010296989292236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030594253118534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway1210201711,2018/04/14,"So I just left a psych hospital... I have horrible anxiety to the point where I can’t function a normal day to day life. They wanted to admit me but told me I couldn’t have my phone, so I left. Is this fairly typical for most places? I run 3 businesses and have to deal with occasional emails and server crashes etc so I can’t go without a phone for a week or more.

Idk what to do now. ",0.8118292682926835,2.680871097560974,3.229451219512196,90.16539634146343,81.92682926829268,7.0268292682926825,21.22560975609756,8.07648339933343,0.9664829268292692,298,9,68,6,8,103,56,82,0.081,0.899,0.02,-0.5006,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,5,0,8,1,0,0,0,12,12,7,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,11,0,9,10,3,11,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,4,48,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198121084478686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32369265824434995,0.2587253682049279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27988309033575953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262449243429445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5453304408623014,0.0,0.17725815941896692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24588431133625255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26219636846797595,0.0,0.237235225360707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397999091470015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802078087399595,0.0,0.20130235058866355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419133314180331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hopingtobehappy,2018/04/14,"What indicates that you are seeing a right therapist for you? I just started therapy 2 weeks ago. And it's terrible. I've been kind of pushed to do so, I would've never started on my own, I'm too scared.
I just can't open up. It's just very awkward, I don't want to share my thoughts with anyone. And I act like nothing affects me. Meaning a lot of sarcasm. There's a lot of silence, cause I don't want to talk. And the silence kills me. I'm not the person to trust anybody easily. He ancourages me to speak, saying it's a ""safe space and nothing leaves the room"" but he is another human and after each of those sessions I've felt like I shared too much and it's going to bite me right in the ass.
People who attend therapy, what would you suggest?",1.3233333333333341,3.2439334777070066,3.223210191082803,90.59604670912952,80.46496815286625,6.224883227176223,23.842462845010616,7.3011,0.9715234819532907,584,21,126,8,15,196,94,157,0.122,0.785,0.093,-0.3152,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,0,8,11,1,2,8,0,8,1,1,2,1,26,19,8,1,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,1,2,9,9,0,1,3,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,3,4,16,7,16,15,5,18,0,0,1,1,14,8,1,2,8,78,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198352798571892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795515250863552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199654995399533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454159309166644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379101192947334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102989666739326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720747793997785,0.16679532908906414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959987411696206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650468445562973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723463831577555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447514168260336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177454419143286,0.0,0.12353514210196848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073802539218292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104365584060487,0.13985671579076578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735734018099218,0.0,0.12737584396437449,0.1603609208851984,0.0,0.12763698850590566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267422725695121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874083398973485,0.0,0.0,0.3663431250501816,0.18597297274446165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715931625583068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215933936201193,0.18894814148129835,0.0,0.1284809632639452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275643311847727,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SouthEastBordom,2018/04/14,"The loneliness after you get better... I am a 17 year old, who has been battling with schizophrenia and depression. It started in my early teens. I have been in and out of hospital, I have taken so many proscription medications I can't even count. The thing that I hate the most is that I have missed, what so many take for granted is being a normal kid. I had to grow up really quick, being in hospital for months at a time. At the moment my life has been on track for the last 6 months from this new drug I'm on, but I have no one out side my family it is hard for someone my age to go make friends. I can't go to school, everyone I work with is in their 20s+ I just am in a rut and I feel like I am falling in to the hole again of what I used to be...


I don't even care if people read this I just needed to get it off my chest.",3.321305876443997,3.0292805580110524,4.909040683073838,89.17452034153696,72.14917127071823,8.570768458061275,24.189352084379703,8.296473431620573,1.0232165745856348,635,14,156,9,11,216,105,181,0.113,0.835,0.052000000000000005,-0.7644,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,2,8,8,2,0,10,0,23,4,1,2,0,17,38,7,0,3,4,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,11,7,0,0,1,1,0,4,4,4,0,1,5,2,23,4,30,30,1,33,0,2,0,0,5,15,0,2,15,113,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524035240897927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756922865508226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841943827833293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983713128297068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22763219779900706,0.0,0.0,0.16465967134380935,0.0,0.0,0.16244847957176406,0.0,0.08713044835965214,0.12310583623638215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331344304276057,0.0,0.18006075150777154,0.0,0.1958674807955172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436536670441636,0.1701308687145512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046424857734469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171510146421012,0.08418711708809895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502530604301088,0.3494119843525979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735948263317918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27508923992995354,0.0,0.0,0.12777350527790715,0.0,0.16642826218390164,0.0,0.0,0.16883755309684825,0.0,0.0,0.18082143108848836,0.0,0.11676886521043325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946537304822873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236718362740144,0.0,0.11039295764356884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743975976089817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460066438634399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196937309594065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956360897448654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448211726159435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004814991925981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488296287975822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254514136298177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096878524668713
mentalhealth,alpacalicious,2018/04/14,Why do I want professional relationships to become personal? I'm suffering badly because there is this teacher I like and I'm thinking that I don't want a student teacher relationship but a close one. An intimate bond or something. Then I realized this thing happened in my life. When it comes to professional relationships I want them to be more close and intimate. I can't figure out why. Why can't I accept that I will never be close with this teacher?,4.099418604651163,6.607183534883722,5.616453488372091,73.9423546511628,74.11627906976744,8.951162790697676,31.68023255813953,9.516144504307137,3.491586046511628,368,18,63,10,8,124,53,86,0.094,0.8340000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.5770000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,1,18,16,6,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,10,2,6,13,1,9,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,44,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600764792527175,0.1138988882926366,0.20635546072863664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609502966764174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652262866392239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319740454891671,0.09128295738597084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410626942429774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661090812573927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314571889111365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6018043428769558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384229642357613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413141811840385,0.11972263747987134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061780623989456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.505795254523895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,starting2wonder,2018/04/14,"Part of me thinks its wrong, but I can't help myself So I cut myself when I do something wrong or embarrassing. Whenever I feel like a failure or a loser. 

Recently I've been doing it every night for the past three weeks. I do it because I think if I punish myself for my stupidness, God won't punish me and my day will go alright. 

I know this sounds illogical and dumb but I can't talk to anyone about this I realize I sound crazy :/ 

I know there's a sub for everything but I'm not sure what types of post are allowed here. Sorry if it isn't I just really needed to write this somewhere.",1.8138359201773824,3.5906694227642286,3.8326977087952687,87.50008869179605,78.34959349593495,6.749150036954916,21.750923872875084,7.686295010490155,0.8612666666666664,461,13,98,7,11,157,82,123,0.362,0.579,0.059,-0.9925,1,0,1,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,12,5,1,4,1,10,0,0,1,1,21,18,11,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,9,0,1,1,3,20,3,8,15,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,4,7,67,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892769876063136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983684784107316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736105751690691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794534280674769,0.0,0.19142185633975334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076942437845397,0.1521602400600053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210472379252904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276284012689416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341076853708283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405625222745628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579295330812991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987687253874897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23064762876856376,0.2033232444028698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398573382414267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644697481056706,0.0,0.2103021252670295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397026023532993,0.0,0.23842508897711925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074074104729087,0.0,0.0,0.171193453284868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27295103751440114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084788952256455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4657426916603119,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_True_Dr_Pepper,2018/04/14,"My dreams are stressing me out. This has been a problem for months, but it really came to a head last night.

To be upfront, while I'm sure I have a mental illness of some sort, I've chickened out of going in for a diagnosis for years. I don't know if I have depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, or what, but I know I have something. When it gets especially bad, I just kinda shut down. I feel intense apathy (or worse than apathy, it really feels like I feel absolutely nothing) and stare forward. It can be hard for me to focus on others if they are talking to me, and my vision gets dark to the point where it feels like there is a small area in front of me that is visible. (I have a friend who goes to therapy who has told me that they do this also and their therapist says this is an anxiety attack, but because that is second hand and not told to me by a therapist that is trying to help me, I am hesitant to call it that.) This will all be important in a second.

So for months, my dreams have all been closer to nightmares, except they aren't scary. They are just full of stressful situations. It's been going on for so long at this point that several months ago I started referring to them as stress visions. They are like intrusive thoughts that I already have, but they aren't so bad that I wake up because of them.

Last night, I had one of those shut downs in my dream. It was the works, the narrow vision, the emptiness, the drowning out of people talking. I was also dissociating from people in the dream, including friends, because there was a larger crowd than I was expecting. I do this in real life sometimes too, if I am overwhelmed by a group I wasn't expecting.

I don't know what to do about this. I haven't felt rested in years no matter how much sleep I get, and now my dreams are making it so that sleep isn't even an escape. I'm afraid of getting diagnosed and making it ""real"", at least undiagnosed I get to pretend it's all in my head or not that bad. I'm also afraid of getting treated and turning into a new person. My mental health feels like it has taken over my personality.

How do I change the content of my dreams?",5.538236658932718,5.388494907192579,6.410630162412996,79.80786171693737,67.44547563805104,9.49460788863109,30.23303944315545,9.174902378510234,2.362632408352668,1679,56,341,28,25,558,191,431,0.149,0.708,0.14300000000000002,-0.7417,0,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,9,1,19,20,1,6,20,0,45,11,6,4,4,55,74,29,1,6,15,0,8,4,2,1,5,1,0,2,35,12,0,0,11,7,0,5,10,12,0,3,15,10,49,8,57,55,8,51,0,2,1,0,24,31,0,9,21,256,84,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735854944135208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160626069942944,0.1991549872698063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700853568472387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443860252846738,0.0,0.0,0.20793568936602225,0.15181078729228392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476495383232266,0.09494408438570212,0.0,0.0,0.08781612467333469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149846867820364,0.08425585061969335,0.0,0.0,0.09513941582631284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05482891511138041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098678483500861,0.17791225081470982,0.07970493345062002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827036693223046,0.0,0.2602233538515885,0.0,0.0943557333404984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743628157089337,0.0,0.17038936725773318,0.08823831195015604,0.0,0.0,0.055641469829569065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686435175483688,0.13533239033664796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863412145101505,0.16222268522385125,0.0,0.0,0.0734633722298225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110822859009804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731397281344038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877914543738648,0.0,0.06102367423266063,0.0,0.0,0.08017390463780437,0.0,0.15580305019300789,0.0,0.07965264801726303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625135864064476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151007082643789,0.14496647216076924,0.0,0.0,0.15694712234240002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794316670594344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889725968066181,0.10635975335752527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660148017691231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378039683518144,0.0,0.0,0.0933094289914689,0.16614472482138115,0.0,0.0,0.06390701025365755,0.08210139793127888,0.0,0.058756612362636386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28527131187793564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823821574732051,0.0,0.0,0.1334444643648594,0.0,0.0,0.09493192754205736,0.19276761665381212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659025824242916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864383386306524,0.0,0.05635997856129131,0.09029366646739463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043402449231153,0.0,0.08459673961334374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691454311179437
mentalhealth,elephantsirrelephant,2018/04/14,"[x-post r/askpsychology] Recent paranoia; convinced people were following me - did I have a good reason? TL;DR: Was sexually assaulted in unsafe foreign country without social support, was utterly convinced I was going to be kidnapped after arriving back home, am now worried about my sanity.

Recently, I [28F] completed an extremely demanding project at work that required 80 hour weeks with maybe 5 days off in the last month. This all completed on Friday of last week, and I had scheduled my vacation time right after this project was slated to be done. I had my flight, and had grabbed 2 friends to go with me that I thought I knew well and could enjoy my time with. However, I had scheduled this trip a few months in advance, and, having recently been buried in mountains of work, had not checked out much about the area, as my friends had chosen the location and booked the Airbnb. This turned out to be a major mistake.

The country that we flew into was, in a word, unsafe. As in medium-level travel advisory against Americans traveling to the area unsafe. It seemed alright when we got there, but immediately, my friends (a couple who had recently had major relationship issues) started fighting. They continued fighting the entire 5 day duration of our trip. This was bad enough by itself, but to make matters worse, one of my friends, ""Eliza"", has some serious mental/emotional instability issues. One moment she's yelling in my face, telling me she hates me and to go fuck myself after I dared to suggest she take a few breaths to calm down, and the next she's sweetly apologizing for her behavior, and then throwing, another, entirely unprovoked, tantrum a few hours later. Her boyfriend is alternatively apologizing to me about her behavior, complaining about her ruining our vacation, and placating her. By the third day of this behavior, I was very nearly at my wit's end.

This is how, on Monday night, after arriving at a nightclub with them, I found myself once again standing in a corner, trying to enjoy myself as they argued, and she refused to leave me alone and let me dance. Here is where I absolutely went wrong, and put myself in a very potentially dangerous situation. I ignored her behavior, and moved to another area of the nightclub. This nightclub had free drinks with the entry fee, and was incredibly crowded. I ended up drinking far, far more than I had in years. I mistook my limits because I wasn't counting my drinks diligently. I ended up dancing with a cute Canadian guy who had also found his way into this strangely populated nightclub, where there were surprisingly few other foreign travelers. However, he noticed my level of intoxication, and took advantage of it. After dancing, flirting, and a bit of making out, he grabbed me by the back of the neck and hair, and shoved me against a railing to force his hands into my shirt (thankfully I was wearing really tight shorts) and to grab my ass. I'm a fairly small woman, and I couldn't get away, and my friends were nowhere to be found. I told him no, I tried to push him away, but he grabbed the front of my neck and shoved his tongue down my throat in response. When he finally let me go, I ran down the stairs at top speed, and tried to go find my friends. I looked for maybe 10 minutes, couldn't find them, and left the club. I then hailed a taxi, and made my way back to the Airbnb, and discovered it was entirely locked and I couldn't get in. Luckily, by hopping the fence, I discovered that the screen door to my side room didn't have a lock, and I was able to get in. Though I was thankful to get in, the idea that my room didn't lock did nothing to reduce my growing sense of panic. I messaged my friends to tell them that I had gotten back safely, and they saw the message, continued dancing, and came back an hour later to yell at me for leaving without them.

The next 2 days we had in the country passed by with another giant, blow-out fight between Eliza and her boyfriend, and a general sense of uneasiness from all of us. The taxi we hailed on the way to the airport broke down, and we had to wait an additional 30 minutes on the side of the road for another car to come pick us up. I was shaking a bit in fright as I got to the airport, and immediately on walking in, a guy greeted us wearing nothing but jeans and a T-shirt and directed us to our airline kiosk without asking which flight or airline we were on. He seemed almost ""too"" friendly, and I was already quite stressed and on high alert from the previous week. Thinking nothing more of it, we got through security, boarded our plane, and made it safely back home.

When I got back home to my apartment, I had to wait in my parking lot for 30 minutes for my ex-boyfriend (who had broken up with me while I was traveling, which I suppose is a different story), to give me the key back to my apartment that I had given him while I was away. While I was waiting, there was a person watching me in a car from across the parking lot who sat there the entire time. I got my key back, walked into my apartment, changed, and came back out to leave with a friend 40 minutes later. The car was still there when I left. When I got back from hanging out, it had been several hours, and the second I exited her car, I was catcalled by a car full of 6 guys who were directly behind where I got out of the car. I was pretty sleep-deprived at this point, as I had gotten almost no sleep in the previous week on my ""vacation"" due to terrible beds and feeling unsafe, and the entire week before that from trying to finish my project on a deadline. I went inside, and was asleep almost immediately.

Here's where my concern for my sanity begins: I had an awful, stream-of-consciousness, paralyzing nightmare of a dream in which I was kidnapped while I was in the foreign country, while my friends looked on and were walking away as I was being forcibly dragged away. I woke up in an absolute state of panic at 4AM, and was utterly convinced that someone was following me, and were going to try to kidnap me. I called my parents (who I'm not terribly close to, but live 30 minutes away) at 4AM to come get me from my apartment, because I was utterly convinced I was going to be kidnapped if I stayed a minute longer. The panic was palpable, and my heart was racing. Even when I got to their house, I still felt unsafe. I thought about filing a police report for stalking, and resisted because I knew I needed to sleep first. I woke up 3 hours later still feeling very paranoid, but no longer as convinced that I would be kidnapped. For the next day or so, I was on high alert, and would turn my head to most small sounds. I had to go to a meeting at work that was 90 minutes long, and it was all I could do to keep my composure and answer their questions without falling apart. I drove to a yoga meditation class afterwards, and ended up crying during the meditation portion because I finally felt safe for the first time in a week. However, I have never before in my life been convinced that I was unsafe, that I was going to be kidnapped, that people had followed me from a foreign country to kidnap me. However, I do have a history of anxiety, as well as PTSD due to a previous sexual assault. I am terrified that I had a paranoid delusion, and that this is the first sign of a deeper psychosis or schizophrenic-type illness. So, reddit, am I losing my grasp on reality? Or is there another explanation?

TL;DR: Was sexually assaulted in unsafe foreign country without social support, was utterly convinced I was going to be kidnapped after arriving back home, am now worried about my sanity.",9.633014337271423,7.352827738078787,9.302104189291473,69.28006603701147,60.49274360746372,12.311005802920107,41.69665756189599,10.780023909350207,4.453522885883218,6015,271,1085,113,63,1954,514,1447,0.117,0.785,0.099,-0.9825,7,1,3,0,6,0,203.0,15,0,9,13,52,66,11,6,86,2,114,23,16,7,4,168,198,92,0,10,18,1,11,0,10,2,3,3,8,5,45,86,3,14,21,15,3,53,17,28,2,7,113,20,187,39,216,67,21,270,0,3,5,2,93,113,2,15,98,794,232,10,0.03652840123240838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973375195289346,0.037832407287362785,0.040309999096200914,0.02921174926820912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19151606831078088,0.02794412696016151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034149124180598074,0.0,0.20591781239571644,0.3370570294089215,0.0304996892367222,0.08906949738765511,0.0,0.06216595800980345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797591067456332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037299581778385146,0.08355751946550334,0.0,0.0,0.0386422050107328,0.06293196643206071,0.07659866742052733,0.0,0.0,0.05832991208203527,0.04041798118236439,0.04012473351222053,0.1177889843783364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381644046139808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03738123685077671,0.0,0.10735178010051144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041089534798067824,0.12941328515204809,0.0377436031302236,0.0,0.02412666450644881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369397144375146,0.0,0.07014598720275585,0.080030156111914,0.06677259391727174,0.09321311828323244,0.0,0.12015451958158348,0.2822175217954166,0.033769918328545895,0.09542290994885784,0.035041370966111804,0.20759932217714425,0.030638289875486217,0.2337207951881197,0.0,0.0,0.10850658062143506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036064233718737744,0.03748867810846169,0.0,0.0,0.04328633133779862,0.0,0.07718852290086825,0.14656385911957195,0.0,0.1798655856391388,0.0421488706251698,0.0,0.04123611873910957,0.0,0.07625232102010157,0.0,0.03246812139401885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955104477035994,0.0,0.11603490786106332,0.07937642963934248,0.07470553027007923,0.025801090063614748,0.0,0.0,0.03225524751955064,0.032326485608930214,0.06134931424457382,0.04086593737589325,0.0,0.062110280919608025,0.0,0.06912811293179373,0.04876598294063349,0.0,0.07339537757756825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03681203687060644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058313242724864996,0.038823909620462914,0.02685257791753451,0.027085346664139438,0.028172954934938568,0.0,0.11654510734902936,0.034279430054853274,0.0,0.10514995847677516,0.04158782691171016,0.0,0.03890155515446583,0.04950518007506852,0.0,0.0,0.128574625087536,0.04056046672375268,0.0,0.0,0.050648388119809984,0.0318951909900217,0.0,0.0,0.03453114618733085,0.0,0.034984110997919565,0.037162516250651915,0.0,0.0,0.04269974627579967,0.03672113245068993,0.04092016929764564,0.03885245108044975,0.0,0.0,0.023401029192651558,0.037557280263550014,0.14426955759137272,0.03921783255106615,0.0,0.031195055064683314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650816914236009,0.0,0.04126669599658783,0.0,0.0,0.041059453465242916,0.10966434482075964,0.0744722098528042,0.030950395825077193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025854990402947992,0.03893441545531096,0.08751488522958241,0.0,0.04184316019513884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290399367479602,0.0,0.0,0.02746481171114706,0.0,0.06385486546316503,0.0672608882186389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02340592455753137,0.03588896874601809,0.05799894063304008,0.08520001804895444,0.0,0.0,0.03490445276781086,0.04058439782339302,0.12400193324787165,0.07946482229278494,0.0,0.0,0.17575667623668342,0.0,0.0,0.09041926974116993,0.0,0.08698363392348707,0.17580528065665038,0.0,0.06568683918513109,0.06772438780966875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760603763450195,0.0,0.07977933344505679,0.07419272916460387,0.0372255615644474,0.05189745636894263,0.039938072423145496,0.0,0.023523092762992814
mentalhealth,badgoatsuperdisco,2018/04/14,"Psych of 18 years is retiring/ finding it hard to research new one So he's retiring later in the year and he told me a few details about his replacement and it was enough to figure out who it is. There are like 5 female psychs in this place. Anyway, she comes from an institution which makes me nervous having been in one. The few ratings I can find aren't great but i can't find many. I'm bipolar and I take a shitton of meds, but they work and I don't know if she'll change them. What I really want to know is the only thing I have any control over and that's how do I find out more about her? I can't rely on about three one-star ratings from healthgrades, Google, and some other place. Is there some place I'm missing or am i kind of SOL? Thanks in advance if there is anything, no worries if there isn't. ",1.404100877192981,3.2653299473684214,2.655317982456144,95.06087171052631,79.93567251461988,5.444590643274854,21.213815789473685,6.322622252153567,0.08931842105263099,635,18,144,5,16,204,107,171,0.09,0.863,0.047,-0.7242,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,3,10,6,0,1,6,0,19,1,0,3,0,28,30,14,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,9,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,2,0,3,3,1,17,4,19,26,6,17,0,1,0,0,10,11,0,6,5,99,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798886365469442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857708737345295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524323496456187,0.12412422516253685,0.0,0.0,0.16161367762027665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888762449331575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5267972352983207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886414768621773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907992429571244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005173098626445,0.1583805920102594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039705169887174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618386632380678,0.14608870322127002,0.0,0.0,0.16005595435261855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916688660158116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929254781026168,0.10958998287655967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516426948089055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231030845602224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834075800130588,0.0,0.0,0.13266239889223147,0.0,0.0,0.09572965325593784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768799547060398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849903766812535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490215078576748,0.14633445516424892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558362804601486
mentalhealth,Dankmemeparrylord,2018/04/14,"Saying words backwards/in the wrong order Been having an issue within the past year where I will completely put words in the wrong order when im talking, basically whenever I speak weather it be to myself or to some one else, some times I'll even completely slur the words, however I noticed when I slur the words it's normally only the first or the last word of the sentence, this stuff kinda hits in waves. When it does I normally have a hard time reading stuff and my head gets really cloudy. More recently at work one of these waves of not knowing how to talk hit me, but this time my head was a lot more cloudy and I was bumping into stuff when I walked. This goes on for a couple minutes and at some point I completely blacked out, when I came back 15 minutes had passed and I had no clue what happened I was doing a completely different task than what I was doing when it started, infact it looked like I just completely stopped what I was doing or forgot and started something new. Anyways stuff like this keeps happening and it's starting to happen more frequently, I'm gonna talk to a dr. But I wanted to know if this had happened to anyone else. ",5.73877819548872,6.133936574561408,6.028972431077694,80.84447368421053,67.02631578947367,9.145864661654135,30.759398496240607,9.04235418022936,2.4596819548872166,921,33,177,15,14,295,126,228,0.051,0.912,0.036000000000000004,-0.3048,2,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,12,4,0,0,14,0,16,3,2,1,0,36,35,19,0,4,8,0,1,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,19,9,0,3,2,1,0,4,2,2,0,3,11,5,19,2,20,19,7,37,0,0,2,0,5,10,0,9,23,124,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407345011537033,0.0938910732509018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046179891626048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048062367044165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4803887262494087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013925863288076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573926198963673,0.0,0.0,0.08019056558324025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530988729485071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052417370275954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794483928548955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787560066932378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241307564492924,0.0,0.08208712439140738,0.0,0.18808826766061276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898172160209236,0.0956433227938665,0.0,0.08144956044498515,0.0,0.0,0.10072059949265673,0.07469490399094929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953664283773625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695047425414503,0.0,0.0,0.07790495511927807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850183011773223,0.0,0.0,0.17956604540110635,0.0,0.10432726244657058,0.0,0.0,0.1241887421797973,0.0696926854080838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747615027934848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662486641859543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921186680576398,0.0,0.0,0.09165998012049068,0.0,0.058703844259152364,0.0,0.09047868760875126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287197496268408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054524025432651,0.0,0.0,0.1945795611091956,0.0,0.0,0.07661111558704857,0.0,0.0,0.4196014410103179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209586654546277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029963519703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404880472910505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671150411236723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20037737351101734,0.0,0.059010053048690524
mentalhealth,dangonation,2018/04/14,"Confused I am at a loss. I strive to be positive and supportive and be the best person I can be. The issue is that even the best person has issues. The other problem is being raised to not burden others with my issues. I’m now spiraling into a deeper and deeper depression. Anytime I try to talk about it to those close to me I get interrupted with the sentiment of how much they understand what I am going through then they proceed to rant about how fucked up their lives are. Im talking about people close to me, family that always replaces my issues with theirs. It’s like mine are trivial and pale in comparison. One of them can’t stop talking about the surgeries they’ve had. Seriously it was a knee replacement not an open heart surgery amongst a few other common issues. This same person likes to share my experiences in Iraq with his friends, like it is his story to tell. Like I didn’t tell him those things in confidence. Then commenced to one up me with his 2 year stint in the air wing during peace time. All the while I’m thinking about blowing my fucking brains out to not have to hear another fucking story about how cold he was in training. I repeat training. 0 combat 0 getting blown up 0 zipping up body bags. My demons are irrelevant because you were fucking cold one day. To top it off I get home and have to walk on fucking eggshells because their boss gave them constructive criticism and now they are an emotional and irrational mess. I’m working 90 hours a week to keep up with “constructive criticism” only to have to hear about fragile fucking feelings when I get home. Does it end? Is their peace in sight?. Will I ever beable to get over what I’ve been through? Can I do it alone? In married and have a large family that should support me but when I have a problem it gets turned into a situation I should have avoided and then they commence to one up me with a bs story. What do I do? How do I get my last bit across without expressing the deep seated anger I have inside of me? Some days I want to jump off a motherfucking building to avoided Hearing the same stupid story again. ",5.11600104275287,6.160720175182482,5.523450643030933,81.60632299270074,68.65936739659368,8.304518595759474,30.250347584289194,8.527137837955566,2.24585081682308,1676,64,318,25,28,536,208,411,0.128,0.79,0.08199999999999999,-0.9696,0,3,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,10,5,18,28,8,3,22,0,38,10,4,5,2,50,67,20,0,5,5,0,2,4,1,3,0,3,2,3,21,22,0,4,3,0,0,3,6,18,0,4,7,8,46,10,63,53,9,53,1,2,1,6,31,28,6,2,26,230,67,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105771002276649,0.0,0.0,0.06512176431779605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206643479978112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954177913697516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426609234807665,0.0,0.08544381668810641,0.08693345602431166,0.0,0.08736830181545557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094737315650117,0.0,0.06740850985567914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684891926051708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803625873801288,0.06931851085545564,0.0,0.0,0.05169251220324933,0.07079410206675554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655702948785957,0.14756032044425207,0.0,0.039572536826119865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060466429934734625,0.43412181940885297,0.2862272946994157,0.0,0.044479130101717716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646270252962301,0.09274299853239006,0.0,0.0,0.15700997695037236,0.0,0.07707409350439295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453835118746117,0.4084354505161827,0.0,0.06956447547601499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379545559820897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294298854068064,0.0,0.06910838319890976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753290975301776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121343482411776,0.059523158608117126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054258275532831815,0.20501083550558424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977580389665582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797180806918023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543205441906744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762570137231468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871647164521727,0.13681204922915174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051995001593088334,0.050148293001509886,0.0,0.0,0.045636260365947416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313599354712952,0.08512855755508328,0.0,0.08147539235528409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04616202629632789,0.0,0.06277851222320498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544352556724934,0.0,0.056976990010000415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503993313864068
mentalhealth,Trilljustabit,2018/04/14,"I don't recognize my own actions From time to time I will say and do things that I later regret, not in an instant ""oops I shouldn't have said that"" moment. It could be hours or even days later before all of a sudden I question my thoughts and motives. I'm not second guessing myself, I legitimately don't understand what I may have been thinking at the time. 
Here's an example:
This afternoon at work I began to talk about certain insecurities and some of my day to day struggles. At the time it was natural, no big deal. It wasn't necessary impulsive because it was over a several hour period and I was thinking rationally about what I was saying. Later however when I got home I was thinking over the day and I realized I shared more than I now feel comfortable with. I feel disconnected with the version of myself that said those things, like we're different people. I remember the words I was saying and the thoughts I was having, but it feels like a dream about someone else. 
It's not just this one time, and it's not necessarily about something potentially embarrassing. I could just be acting a different way that I don't understand after the fact. 
The quickest I've ever realized it was after I said a joke that everyone present enjoyed and then almost instantly felt disconnected from the version of myself that said it. 
When it happens I feel confused and almost as if someone has taken control of my thoughts. This has been going on for around a year now and it's starting to freak me out a little bit.
I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this, if it's a legitimate problem, or if I'm just overthinking things.
Thank you for your input.",5.787777280191072,6.747751169279,6.72111957008509,73.93140020898646,67.08777429467085,9.837945962083893,32.745335124645464,9.957137785484203,3.3217755187341385,1329,56,238,30,21,443,159,319,0.069,0.847,0.084,0.5023,3,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,3,15,15,0,4,19,0,28,0,0,2,4,65,57,21,0,10,14,0,5,2,0,3,0,7,1,0,28,14,0,1,19,2,0,3,10,7,0,2,22,13,34,8,33,28,7,45,0,1,0,0,13,11,0,13,32,181,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19489163975279786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804414572364395,0.0997095967039415,0.0,0.08663000807016882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593216538516204,0.0,0.08280696648285005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624158125169042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109145820328218,0.1553944708440907,0.0,0.0,0.2510376751193044,0.10032636402819124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033446390842696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258656280060155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427491711181918,0.08802599928699836,0.0,0.09298760746164443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681933928089365,0.06952107387779362,0.09343661060107897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055305735369425936,0.0,0.07783082040831593,0.0,0.10720223870596607,0.0,0.08605436567579128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761378219087083,0.0,0.19166918999738844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348117774921462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950853178951151,0.09753409907438608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594242119709941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746520944446949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311626549472,0.0,0.0,0.10901384603349427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023768526539897,0.0,0.3702712369965659,0.2321637717932625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993701445760813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490751348601068,0.07491699915224898,0.0,0.0,0.06887928352599976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173362364665824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821723144310544,0.0,0.08959357009264185,0.0,0.0,0.19395310511226727,0.187064464769928,0.0,0.23176911384283244,0.28372260577909075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202614416173012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057398263064560175,0.07724324897905073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084568255793776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266696489068639
mentalhealth,adgs6482,2018/04/14,"Wondering if anyone has a similar problem Hello, I'm 16 teen years old and a sophomore in high school. At school I find it very hard to socialize. I'm very awkward and fear social interactions in some ways. I get bad anxiety over super small ordinary things like raising my hand in class or asking someone to be partners. I basically don't have friends other than my girlfriend which is fine with me as for some reason I feel more alone with people than I do by myself. It kinda sucks though because I feel like if for some reason I ever stopped going to school no one peers or teachers would notice or care but I have a good family and I know they love me. Others things about me are that I don't enjoy typical high school activities and I absolutely hate doing bad things like drugs, sneaking out, etc. sometimes I feel like I bore my girlfriend and I feel bad and like she doesn't enjoy being with me. I like talking to people when I have the opportunity but I really don't like hanging out with people outside of school or work. Other weird things about me are I heavily rely on routine and get very distraught if I can't do things on schedule or if something unplanned pops up. I understand you can't diagnose someone with such little information and I don't even know if I have anything to diagnose nor am I asking for a diagnosis. I just know I'm very different compared to everyone else I know and I'm curious if there's anyone out there similar to me and if you have any advice. Thanks! ",4.444267161410019,5.944574700680274,5.595967841682128,78.74437847866422,70.70068027210884,8.474706246134819,29.00989486703773,8.97023862654752,2.444434013605442,1198,46,221,23,22,398,154,294,0.16,0.6890000000000001,0.151,0.2328,1,1,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,1,3,10,28,2,3,5,0,23,5,1,2,1,55,47,28,0,9,15,0,6,7,4,1,3,0,0,1,12,18,0,1,14,0,0,2,9,11,0,1,0,6,39,17,33,44,5,24,0,0,0,1,17,15,1,17,13,152,51,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248478820633247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742363515588954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574019124529125,0.0,0.06457366409594155,0.0,0.0,0.11804331737971326,0.0,0.06946250149729352,0.0,0.15782451011278906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143727523967568,0.051455747872392495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606194734226727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134939684808276,0.0,0.08819081903965678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788917320812368,0.0,0.0705139914324737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413982015191648,0.0557522205584016,0.0763539674206751,0.0,0.08065767850591847,0.0,0.0,0.0795745377853703,0.09498507796179208,0.17072157704470176,0.1206054995776557,0.0,0.0,0.07714950366092407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652152041836449,0.0,0.08820181704555513,0.0,0.047972330343057465,0.07079937196514581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561506723826662,0.08333771591259047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836827598759772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555881837451674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886703318615064,0.08460131646844625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618360979668859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961017092895934,0.08857443195828242,0.0,0.05719861768689333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555846382920512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076927679898452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054075412724107895,0.17357573586414854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42713875368969145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209138329400336,0.14304118117515274,0.0649831885904015,0.08348396528217418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705708075323891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784581816413851,0.0,0.07771368217760127,0.0,0.0,0.28039233084226906,0.0,0.08293271125839898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787412046862318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785894181099581,0.0,0.06700098338883223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153939181475942,0.06145171860290648,0.0,0.0,0.05996266979067781,0.0,0.0,0.0543574788627568
mentalhealth,TrueMegaManiac,2018/04/14,"Mom asked I record what she's talking about when she starts acting weird in the middle of the night. So my mother, who, I might describe as an alcoholic(although she denies it) has been acting weird in the middle of the night once every couple of weeks. Usually she asks me random stuff like ""Did you sign up for -random thing here-"" and one night she even offered me her prescription hormone drugs(Trokies IIRC).  
It's freaking me out and when I confronted her about this stuff she never remembers it. My dad's noticed this too but most of the time he says something she shouts at him that wine isn't the problem. She's now asked me to record her as proof of this stuff happening so she can make sense of it. I'll go through with it and have thought of doing that before, but it's so random and out of the blue that I wouldn't remember to go grab my phone since there's a situation happening. Is there an app out there(for android) where it records constantly but keeps a certain time range to save later and anything older than that gets removed?(Shadowplay on PC comes to mind) I want to help her and this is what she suggested.  
She refuses to deal with/acknowledge alcohol being the issue in any way so this is a starting point to *hopefully* convince her to get real help.",5.334562410329983,6.5344165691056935,5.1153180296508864,84.16198708751796,68.26829268292683,8.38986131037781,28.69823051171689,8.671277953709913,2.0429782879005263,1020,35,196,16,17,314,142,246,0.032,0.8759999999999999,0.092,0.9496,0,0,5,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,15,10,1,0,13,0,13,2,0,1,3,36,30,17,0,4,3,3,1,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,23,11,2,2,3,1,0,5,3,5,0,1,3,5,30,5,33,24,1,35,0,0,1,0,35,13,0,6,17,137,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497744574235793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795258504392095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623485122971452,0.0,0.3279802322919209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951063088703033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007368000607054,0.0,0.12637479216551614,0.0,0.0,0.1293961819426296,0.0,0.0,0.12056400811536602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724033162515832,0.0,0.0985302649560072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219670410084815,0.0,0.13292380706694626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682617858618765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677003905755202,0.0,0.0,0.11615166235559048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205903060504708,0.0,0.10394509622536474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057132874042647074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780609498124895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405897909765105,0.11807998461291645,0.13696326207560894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019433173009266,0.0,0.0,0.32923173586434656,0.0,0.0,0.13314138559731595,0.0,0.12454141848170452,0.07924420147549636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110549768791842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118995021649884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310774083126875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649492445918224,0.0,0.0,0.09299846933790223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673718826653377,0.1314498239553762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002911429375217,0.0,0.0,0.16554696421921053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016183014724109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093995063190152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769231934617275,0.0,0.0,0.09284038013639362,0.13638183692593964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879716512982514,0.0,0.0689765319510534,0.09282461082862196,0.0938053287870502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChubbyFemme,2018/04/14,"Does anyone else get the bizarre urge to quit meds when they start to feel better? I regularly stop taking my antidepressants and I have no idea why, after a few weeks of stability and being pretty happy I almost 'forget' what its like to be suicidal and severely depressed? Its like I have barely any memory of it? So over and over again I keep thinking I'm 'cured' and stop taking my meds. I don't know why I do this every time, the same thing always happens- I crash, become extremely suicidal and go back on them again. Wondering if anyone else does this.",3.3762616822429905,5.722759943925233,4.7942149532710285,79.74833177570095,75.72897196261681,8.018317757009347,21.914953271028036,8.841846274778883,1.732170841121495,442,12,80,10,10,147,74,107,0.221,0.66,0.119,-0.9125,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,2,5,5,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,18,18,9,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,3,5,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,12,4,9,16,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,12,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426289076926177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851801982658393,0.0,0.0,0.09686124789106113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918888653716746,0.29188467770897186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952436027921077,0.0,0.0,0.1573091822532465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597291561541518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267977059971398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24929310721602005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379737159291265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200083289391682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201983474002144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441684170627368,0.0,0.08094956392058322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595553297296327,0.15162558830095366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079271332398473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266035091349516,0.0,0.0,0.07827900646903665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391739024433026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164281917917032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490844445604165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149803666143472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609119437546429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081681271115098,0.0,0.0,0.2381654613990227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31160335679095963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418803374330608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462803556151353,0.09126712776419807,0.0,0.0,0.08305547718989616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425343023637935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570523619640916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446558038706085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eilccn,2018/04/14,"my mom got out of the car onto the road while i was stopped in traffic she has also gone hysterical and does this thing where she covers her ears and screams non stop. she’s abnormally suspicious of everyone around her, and believes that my dad and i are “tracking everything about her” through her phone (she doesn’t understand icloud and family sharing). my dad has wanted to divorce her for awhile and she never complies. he even started seeing someone else and she found out. now every time i say something in agreement with my dad or defend him she brings up the fact that he left her. okay, so if he’s such a terrible person, why are you complaining about how hard your life is instead of divorcing him? my dad btw has stage four cancer and i am sitting in his hospital room and he’s in intense pain and she is being so selfish and immature right now. she has never been diagnosed but i think she has paranoid personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. because of her i haven’t seen any family on my dad’s side since i was in middle school (i am 22 now). my aunt just recently told me that she threatened everyone on my dad’s side demanding them to never speak to her kids. i just feel really lost and i feel like it’ll be impossible for her to get help because she doesn’t think that anything is wrong with her. in her mind she is always right and no matter how much proof you give her she insists that she is right. ",3.9715577149587737,6.040505724381628,4.8532729681978815,81.26928518845705,73.02826855123675,8.39157832744405,28.399440518256768,9.075114841892004,2.4862839811543003,1172,47,220,26,24,380,160,283,0.16399999999999998,0.794,0.042,-0.9857,0,0,1,0,1,0,21.0,0,3,1,1,17,11,0,0,4,1,23,6,1,2,5,42,40,23,0,2,5,8,3,1,0,1,5,4,1,4,8,19,0,2,6,0,0,3,7,7,0,1,9,9,53,4,28,28,1,40,0,1,2,0,60,23,0,2,13,153,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038248817723674,0.09404214646757636,0.0,0.0,0.07685784553717465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300627771041917,0.10061224587745624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779254916707867,0.0,0.0,0.12733545017991307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147134730627758,0.0,0.0,0.3885940050808433,0.0,0.09890503965755423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441416200501067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746490033680874,0.0,0.09522468282831444,0.21599194629901,0.1015755773108228,0.0,0.21309142056258248,0.0,0.11429316583422293,0.08074189919261934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392119287133005,0.0,0.0,0.059048569471847424,0.10841960431673026,0.0,0.0,0.0903928536336146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124420789723876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575528825028142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227971517138276,0.0,0.07982975261848968,0.055216128894103926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233752746871864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411853087127705,0.13236829512337572,0.0,0.0,0.0830831041262283,0.0,0.2615052330086993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026182732175875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960555387592245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741368167404812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240385452170726,0.0,0.11159415226742453,0.0,0.0,0.2895567810422511,0.0,0.08987847287505489,0.0,0.11438282437350357,0.09006274072256795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349176189160337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576194013773744,0.08700873643001343,0.0,0.0,0.0799965227334118,0.0,0.0,0.18898047096278725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508582739768996,0.14483800200905042,0.0,0.0,0.0659031880743142,0.0,0.0,0.107995973149505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765837215324065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666244509307696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198346170917594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357022256571874,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,constantdecline,2018/04/14,"Feeling awful, needing support I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, but I feel like such a piece of shit over the way I live my life. 

Here is some background on me! I am 20 years old, about to finish my second year of University. My plan is to go to graduate school for Social Work. I have been feeling extremely depressed for 2 weeks. I have been sleeping 12-14 hours constantly, when I try to sleep I can't (when I finally do it's forever). I have been feeling extremely irritable and sensitive. I didn't get a volunteer position I wanted and I didnt get out of my bed for an entire day. I normally am incredibly anxious, but lately I am just sad. I recognise I probably have an anxiety disorder or something, but I don't know. I feel awful right now and I just want support. 

I sleep through all my classes, I fucked up my volunteer job by missing shifts and not doing proper work, I haven't felt successful at my job (I am a residence advisor). I currently have a headache and I feel deeply upset with myself. 

My room is disgusting and I live in filth basically, I have barely studied for the exam I have TOMORROW. I am fat and unhealthy, I don't do the things I love and desire (reading, working on hobbies) 

Going into this year of University I was so optimistic. Now it's the end and I feel less connected to my friends, I am a disorganized mess, I am getting the worst grades I have ever gotten, so on and so on. I deeply want to be a better person. 

All I can concentrate on is all the ways I am failing and I feel disgusted with myself because I know I can do better. I cry all the time just over feeling like a failure for these reasons. I just want to be the kind of person who gets up every morning, showers and puts on makeup. I want to be someone who is timely. A reliable straight A student. I want to get into graduate school (more than anything else). If I don't get my life together soon, I won't get in. I am sorry if this all seems stupid. I guess I was wondering if anyone relates. 

I don't know how to improve. Every time I try, I end up sleeping all day, I fuck everything back up, something goes wrong. I feel really fucking sad right now. What do I do? 
",2.1997285067873307,4.123122807692308,4.390540723981903,83.26585633484166,77.710407239819,7.677918552036201,27.79208144796381,8.548686976883017,2.2120396380090503,1699,74,339,36,40,587,205,442,0.225,0.6559999999999999,0.119,-0.9963,4,0,2,0,0,0,58.0,0,0,0,8,19,26,7,1,19,2,49,12,6,3,7,68,92,26,0,13,13,0,11,2,1,2,3,0,3,2,10,17,1,0,18,1,0,3,11,16,0,1,9,11,71,10,45,78,11,54,0,5,0,4,7,22,4,9,29,245,81,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799973085552671,0.0856515311611332,0.0,0.10602589667429428,0.0,0.06239085930463493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058298526128439276,0.0,0.04621728640230865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341077965442352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193114840309178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328131874280152,0.09779127329945206,0.0,0.06530099599308885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689275066324342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333530212186664,0.0,0.13430256237114052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858073832655784,0.1277580381652944,0.0,0.06813935262002921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833530921023767,0.10832723546254534,0.07279612607248807,0.08305372219061036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058575958841668885,0.21027454286130898,0.2772784543716553,0.0,0.08617699761549144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835208772438322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466438706146965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047317464161936,0.0,0.0,0.07895164777404448,0.16666797020533247,0.0,0.08552478011386501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710345552053066,0.07408062797448556,0.0,0.13389544625812996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842772399046992,0.0,0.050608378094872536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056217280249561456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428447719620389,0.0,0.0,0.07955709632070301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240080791532358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174345536240601,0.0,0.0,0.07621693824561175,0.0,0.0,0.07583743004258578,0.0,0.04857025581264642,0.0779524137596781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949445873577653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534615270718346,0.0,0.06902087002843399,0.0,0.0,0.07782497158298629,0.0,0.0,0.3034866679079327,0.07728579486195519,0.06423942427278892,0.11673512727347628,0.0,0.08487082677977284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207226859660202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036938804848621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262835486246344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029494142249628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683126774939741,0.1203598729610303,0.060815754330077465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222020791705914,0.16558684671893112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289389232783474,0.0,0.14647081847519125
mentalhealth,fiddlecasserolle,2018/04/15,"Traffic lights and OCD Hi folks,
So for background, I’ve got relatively mild OCD and anxiety, it’s no as where near as severe as other people’s but it still really effects me. I’m seeing some people and I’ve been on Sertraline for a wee while now, slowly but surly getting there.

I function somewhat well day to day with everyday tasks but I just can’t handle traffic lights if I’m driving. I know it sounds stupid believe me enough people tell me but if I’m driving through a junction and the light goes amber I flip, I need to drive that stretch of road, go through that junction until I do it perfectly. Today for example a 5 minutes drive turned into a 20 minute drive because the traffic lights I go through kept changing to amber when I was going through them so I had to do it perfectly (until they stayed green). It’s exhausting, I know I’m being daft - I tried to stop myself turning around and driving the road again but I just couldn’t stop thinking about that amber light, I couldn’t stop obsessing about whether or not I’d mistaken it for a red and caused a crash, I couldn’t stop thinking about a million different scenarios involving that damn light. It upsets me so much but it’s all I can think about.

I’ve got several different things which I obsess over but this is just the one that’s really getting to me right now. Sorry for the vent guys just had to get it out.

Tell me how you are all feeling? How was your day?",2.0948664343786305,4.50292924738676,3.1890836236933815,89.23772531939608,80.56794425087108,6.196004645760744,24.897677119628334,7.42949916751922,1.2841633914053427,1142,44,226,17,30,366,149,287,0.145,0.7909999999999999,0.064,-0.9603,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,2,3,22,9,2,3,12,0,15,1,0,4,4,51,38,29,0,6,16,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,19,10,0,5,7,0,0,9,6,6,1,2,8,11,27,3,33,26,6,38,0,0,3,0,9,11,1,5,17,151,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344128675886794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873575626334836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074459012968391,0.0,0.0,0.13761661270647735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125477496124733,0.12921417672309266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363220210534357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25523295686428066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620937660468404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06176064212826182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914485896362101,0.0,0.20825500637922628,0.0,0.1953824848045773,0.0,0.0,0.12094365457097507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425639539834985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979129807792302,0.09056964449865827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276922972112664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540417829974452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564995952359183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431193967567423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733447592001897,0.0,0.0,0.2759802215116979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673234591976186,0.0,0.13019128794165713,0.0975458814424592,0.4084778000914645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135218181336967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114831505392774,0.2347985011184701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578004045546555,0.0,0.0,0.08292905496591263,0.26571934981860257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098238421499428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Softspoken02,2018/04/15,"I need advice A friend of mine has issues of self esteem, she seems to believe that she's constantly fucking things up between us, she's very sweet and she's never done me wrong once, how can I help her understand that she hasn't done anything wrong, and that I'm not upset with her? Just telling her those things hasn't seemed to work and I'm blundering around in the dark here, any advice would be greatly appreciated",4.667148594377512,6.004809951807232,4.590542168674698,86.78934738955826,69.96385542168674,7.461044176706826,25.88152610441768,7.793537801064563,1.2540779116465868,338,10,68,4,6,104,58,83,0.0,0.767,0.233,0.9588,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,1,4,7,1,1,2,0,8,1,0,1,1,14,15,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,13,3,9,11,0,5,0,0,0,1,13,3,1,2,2,46,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311892802898698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523881242797875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394513847842826,0.15085559124893574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909237236115045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831263782726732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468334366536937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309246044465209,0.1566633131503883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683057476058104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358566444435575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687252202085044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565266237685965,0.13069822729222186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046968482152095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085405782755768,0.17678404680916002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481157681061897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22516378175853996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641414463784946,0.20383987118103108,0.0,0.0,0.1398224916475073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336911386474132,0.0,0.0,0.12037973233656858,0.3705564630496128,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ryanandrew6,2018/04/15,"Is this malpractice? How do I report it? So long story short,
I’ve been working at a private Diagnostic Center for a few months as a psych tech- as I am planning on entering a PhD program soon. I really was excited to work here but the more I do the more troubled I am. I am going to make a quick list of some of the concerns I have and hopefully figure out if it is or isn’t malpractice, and if so, who to talk to.
1) a majority of the ‘therapists’ have a masters in social work- not clinical- and are assessing/diagnosing a majority of the patients. They reference the DSM-V but of what I’ve seen, they generally don’t know how to properly use it. 
2) many of the patients are coping with suicidial intent/drug abuse/ rather minor stuff in the grand scope of mental disorders, yet, almost all of the patients are prescribed and given drugs (told they must take them or certain privileges are taken away). Yet, the prescription is done by a Nurse practitioner (I know they have presc privilege) but rarely meets with the patients and so the nurse pretty much prescribes based on the assessments and directions of the ‘therapists’ I described in 1. 

Hell, there’s other- more nuanced- issues I could discuss. Such as lying, telling them they’re undergoing ‘marijuana withdrawals’, making jokes about certain ones have ‘daddy issues’, and other ludacris nonesense. But the two issues above are some of the worst. The issue is, they have two Clinical Psycholgists and two Psychaitrists there who work with the more severe cases they see (such as schizo and high level OCD) but they generally aren’t present or involved in the diagnosis of a majority of the patients.

I’m just concerned and need my mind eased, or help in making things right.",7.347083881578946,7.854432290625002,7.461546052631579,71.56463815789476,63.59375,10.736842105263158,34.96710526315789,10.5429385540328,3.8151875,1383,58,236,32,19,447,178,320,0.075,0.8290000000000001,0.096,0.4706,1,0,2,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,9,6,17,11,1,0,30,0,27,3,0,6,4,51,43,30,0,7,14,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,11,14,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,3,0,4,7,2,20,8,37,34,13,24,1,0,2,0,19,15,1,10,7,177,31,8,0.0,0.1348275739085221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394849996902028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691344013037422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085544602438284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549876448670834,0.0,0.0,0.13041806475285828,0.0,0.0,0.116451022324322,0.0,0.0,0.26393039649127154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467189247340924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762738845109659,0.12022986878942292,0.0,0.1130233625446078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.475086513206623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507668340888006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007043269418783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278756287849751,0.1153695048774474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467783542142705,0.0,0.11489974951292653,0.0,0.09082948161218704,0.0,0.08365186425005716,0.0843769916345656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710992620582058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115769658099013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289950794843633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971796644462932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067928118653412,0.0,0.0,0.12855510789899954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599890349709364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026718680070934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555911123207344,0.09146350460159852,0.09946118681481114,0.0,0.0,0.2642477809292783,0.0755998407453812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873527873645332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33348133059782903,0.0,0.0,0.09828169241123902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313742659048052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Boga17,2018/04/15,"I need help but I’m too scared to talk I’m 16, in school, failing, been in an on/off mentally stressing relationship for almost 2 years, completely unhappy with my life. I’d kill myself but I’m scared to do it, and I have no hope for my future. My parents found self harm scars on my arm around a year ago, but never helped me afterwards. I’m too anxious to go to the doctors to seek help, I can’t go to my school support because I’m too anxious to speak about my feelings face-to-face. Just looking for advice, anything that could give me hope. I’m a happy guy, I like to make people smile and laugh, yet even with my friends I feel painfully alone, and have no relationship with my family. My father has PTSD and a drinking problem, and I am currently revisiting past addictions to niccotine and prescription pills to numb my pain, along with drinking. 

Not sure if I’ve given way too much information, but nobody I know used Reddit so I think I can post my problems here. Even just typing this out is giving a tiny bit if relief. Thanks to anyone who replies.",4.264755134281201,5.3923061232227525,5.107374407582942,83.49951342812008,70.70616113744077,8.091121642969984,28.284676145339645,8.447377352677275,1.9250983254344392,836,30,167,13,15,272,133,211,0.244,0.5760000000000001,0.181,-0.9508,2,1,2,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,0,1,13,21,1,3,6,0,10,10,1,2,2,39,34,13,1,8,9,2,2,1,1,0,7,1,0,2,4,13,2,0,6,2,0,2,5,11,0,0,3,4,23,10,25,30,2,18,0,1,1,0,16,5,0,5,10,96,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021560520388165,0.0,0.10775907545428276,0.09775179074536484,0.0,0.11042409568330094,0.1142112418799658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24915784830999316,0.0,0.07710657335128984,0.0,0.09074661040974136,0.09816778505552212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722238049114622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203913164111334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156208335620656,0.0,0.0,0.08804530527275965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287073903734755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160542773144281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567068359000487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103957090851754,0.0,0.11151631532601676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091042118703373,0.0851978923775952,0.0,0.0,0.21157091404823392,0.12534320757965992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918920411973773,0.0,0.11738937597884935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174424561093306,0.0,0.0,0.21905514514833133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200252062932893,0.0,0.0606040433188989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789022029815694,0.05387460567649385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260290146402522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360916040634037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113087293621507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106452884018805,0.08176722817990129,0.08505057968178639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346799261252157,0.0,0.12244690750350976,0.0,0.1052695958444262,0.07645053171536148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561259643854626,0.0,0.0,0.21103582326471765,0.12890512129127785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367873302629609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208082501468848,0.22320759106834745,0.0,0.0,0.11504047125286393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631919649653064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513832390425342,0.10393251761066556,0.0,0.0,0.08863455671994651,0.0,0.10152604769570557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065951925182899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524185934598504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753085485832683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420264704232265
mentalhealth,burgerking1988,2018/04/15,"Intense Nostalgia Hi I have weeks of intense nostalgia. Usually trigerred by an old song ect. The weird thing is maybe because I am a bit of a loner the memories trigger certain random people random games I used to play. I remember certain classes I took in University. Hell I went to a starbucks yesterday and there was this cute cashier girl 2 years ago there. I miss her and wonder where she is. It gives me a really negative attitude how I have no control or grasp on life and how it keeps moving. The branch that I get a grasp in one moment moves so fast it dissapears. I even think about a certain voice in a chat in a particular game on a particular day that happened in 2009 in a game I really liked. I even remember an old chat forum I used to visit, and feel sad from the fact that certain familiar names are no longer there and have moved on, wondering where these people went.

Is this normal? This isn't the first time this has happened either. Is this due to intense loneliness. I am 29 btw and single and am working.",4.367761194029851,5.832376920398012,5.428039800995027,80.01310447761195,70.84079601990051,8.942089552238807,29.817910447761196,9.3871,2.706077014925373,815,33,155,18,15,269,117,201,0.121,0.773,0.106,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,11,11,1,0,17,0,14,1,0,6,5,33,29,11,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,13,7,0,2,8,7,0,7,4,4,0,2,4,3,17,7,18,25,3,31,1,2,0,0,12,11,1,5,14,104,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991453839904212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246335606964629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476870042442536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517242028981905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724221193343347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786978289376929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683999104994167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506620169338486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067643699451323,0.1297696354373968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23924929051439406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024005227174725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554985889909216,0.06608931071100106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135903521015804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43133283248885546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254234011393812,0.0,0.0,0.2839000587206074,0.0,0.09166692103481304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756751464307275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332330005735674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064840206603877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898717580581499,0.08667977916284955,0.0,0.0,0.0788808697879213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029727333103765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336710869981038,0.14898805648403446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851072389474596,0.0,0.0,0.2508055157083021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29340339121450953,0.09848297151972896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711369127554314
mentalhealth,edub_swl,2018/04/15,"I read a great about about mental illness written by someone who has mental illness. The ABC's of My Journey With Mental Illness by Theodora Owl is informative and interesting.  I leaned a lot about mental health challenges and just how difficult they can be.  It's a great read.  Here's the link.
https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-My-Journey-Mental-Illness-ebook/dp/B06XBS97TG/ref=sr_1_5/146-4521580-1593263?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523813049&sr=1-5&keywords=theodora+owl",19.32678571428571,25.446362392857147,10.270857142857142,41.37414285714289,41.142857142857146,7.337142857142857,32.628571428571426,8.238735603445708,2.8233542857142857,418,12,40,4,5,102,39,56,0.16899999999999998,0.637,0.194,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,1,0,8,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,7,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,28,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5811922652621766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956930186058904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254278689734853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400763055407385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6757098884996527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26827400475800417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362309880050107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_tydolla,2018/04/15,"Tips for dealing with anxiety/depression? Hello everyone, 

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and have just now found a therapist. I have yet to see her, but I was wondering if you guys have any helpful tips for dealing with anxiety in the mean time? Anything is appreciated! Thank you!",5.175789473684207,7.702106578947372,6.038456140350879,72.0745263157895,70.9298245614035,10.875789473684213,35.96140350877193,10.793553405168565,4.862483508771929,253,14,42,9,5,83,40,57,0.12,0.688,0.193,0.8269,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,11,11,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,5,1,8,8,0,6,0,1,1,0,8,1,0,2,5,29,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428134618643545,0.0,0.3213129361281229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728196829108097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330205406192876,0.3617612434598189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006727964477061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302642551143985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794213192155891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076474423579655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18585153904641516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287615920617843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735014750524752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195472204008932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933482616126024,0.0,0.24383687507117124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449161141848068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22774602593158094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Li9K,2018/04/15,"giving up on society due to too much stigma etc so I've experienced so much stigma and humiliation due to mental health issues from people, I just want to give up on society.
For now I started with not going outdoors.
The friends I have are fine and keep contact online. Most people that know me and get to know me see I am pretty ordinary.
Strangers can be so evil I simply give up.

To top it, because people heard I've been in a hospital, some started a rumor I was on hard drugs . uhm when I never even tried them... so wtf? not only stigma but because junkies abuse prescription pills, you get thrown in their basket because people are so ignorant about anything psyche meds. Fucking lol. Do I really deserve people believing lies about me?

Also another thing is, due to my past psychotic episodes which destroyed most of chances of a normal life, I think I cannot repair my rep at all, or get over the past.

I'm not dependent on anyone (self employed so my own boss) , so I switched interest to just work and money and I feel satisfaction and good.
But I want to quit with society, new people, going outdoors , doing most social things, simply avoid everyone and places as much as I can.
That minimal basic need of social interactions is done online and it is enough.

Another thing, before I had problems , I always had a girlfriend. if we finished it was just a bit until I got a new one. After the problems, although I still had some girlfriends, I noticed I lost all will for dating, since I already know as soon as she hears about my past and diagnosis it will all change quickly lol. People chat shit so I have so many rumors lies about me that I'm scorned in the beginning.
Also I don't want family, so combine all these factors and I have no chance of getting married or finding a long term partner. So I just gave up.

I give up on everything except work and money. ",3.4550848337950133,5.6008227728531885,4.695560076177287,81.49090244113573,74.73407202216066,7.171779778393352,27.07072368421053,8.07648339933343,1.9360726454293624,1475,57,266,24,32,486,195,361,0.136,0.764,0.1,-0.9618,1,1,1,0,1,0,44.0,1,1,2,5,28,13,4,1,11,2,25,6,1,2,5,55,57,36,0,8,13,0,2,0,4,2,4,2,0,2,12,14,0,3,6,1,2,2,7,9,0,1,11,6,39,4,43,43,17,42,0,1,1,1,24,17,2,9,23,192,51,5,0.0,0.10118117200262944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423742544470494,0.13658348327929964,0.0710569281651987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909185426502472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059711385756728165,0.0,0.07027424024674217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561711791304202,0.0,0.07266633545645057,0.09621288194901946,0.0,0.0,0.09323112185564722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033842707431716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739051351375325,0.0,0.0,0.09903310602556792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823765978040424,0.09523993803186953,0.056403740973295174,0.0,0.0,0.08160024408695182,0.07674908295295248,0.0,0.08050444578461456,0.0,0.04317915732206076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805107271289298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597730901931848,0.07894790950417188,0.17846508684977455,0.3276813354441809,0.09706586993143207,0.07162673338205328,0.06829957363324958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649870486715127,0.0,0.0,0.09077274064327392,0.09624833174196784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913200915693856,0.0,0.07590454571572662,0.0,0.0,0.14079544395828225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031824251494877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557342708419952,0.0,0.0,0.0932206288361529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657889019632778,0.0,0.0,0.09485652614887616,0.0,0.08605982778075659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832928798603832,0.06332060020180919,0.06586322996193086,0.16495340609319356,0.0,0.0,0.0836706731606414,0.0,0.09722475380479348,0.0,0.0,0.05786704069773405,0.0649480684328893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24456255177949435,0.4144234265003292,0.0,0.0892214168962988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687918464474755,0.0,0.16342629303520292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082994403696228,0.0,0.0,0.054707337963689096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805014494315972,0.0,0.08908742352380318,0.0,0.08765852580287141,0.07064106529150696,0.0,0.0,0.17410244309252507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088850335404774,0.0,0.0681979463907749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020139726803282,0.05471878243387589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579787804587022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110762834178054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433968669683185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sunsteal,2018/04/15,"Mertazipine side affects I've started on 15mg of mertazipine and took my 1st tablet last night. Today I'm feeling high, kind of zoned out and having washes of panicy emotion from my stomach up into my head about my life and job.

I'm staying at my sisters in another city due to having a breakdown about 4/5 weeks ago. I got to the stage where I was thinking about self harm and suicide and she took me in.

This high, zoned out feeling I'm getting is making me anxious and extremely worried about losing my old life and in particular my job (not sure if I want to go back to this old life but worried about having nothing if I don't?

How long does this high feeling last and how long does the panic accompanying them last. I hate feeling this way and don't know how to deal with them.

I have so much more I could write but it would really be repetition so a bit pointless.

Please help!!",4.562059925093635,5.393623202247195,5.309606741573036,83.41512172284645,69.78651685393258,7.955805243445692,29.44007490636704,8.07648339933343,1.8877176029962548,702,26,141,9,12,228,106,178,0.127,0.7879999999999999,0.085,-0.8958,2,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,2,1,12,6,1,1,4,0,11,6,2,5,1,34,29,18,1,5,5,1,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,5,13,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,4,4,19,2,24,22,3,35,0,1,0,0,8,14,0,2,15,86,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135174925707073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989100950640184,0.0,0.12916686014032489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879171390019032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482503308215293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128779775003884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178751441882538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011198151218387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861233656631696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23124637498328016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597357135864043,0.0,0.06497964512375462,0.0,0.09144474901275587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288288825452275,0.11734147173986788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663684729452817,0.3624060117194423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269211914874025,0.0,0.0,0.1190630956344864,0.062835941475711,0.27959670450837626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422761777674482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023670926222041,0.0,0.12791246524732044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632000510313583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404993645646235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729636188832263,0.0,0.10970824173770873,0.0,0.2399522855999961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414837489977938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550632593746114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324641316370016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927712943088345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092743672968544,0.12186670326544395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506475985165116,0.0,0.10776009712161462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326173590508994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837692795980586,0.0,0.25406246421894124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743819135107086,0.09075440138961192,0.09171324700668132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322270208457151,0.0,0.08122084075982365,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chanbaeky,2018/04/15,"How can I lose weight but not become anorexic? I decided to lose some weight because I want to look good in my prom dress. Basically I started eating less food (I quit snacks and I don't eat past 6 pm). I also go running whenever I have time. Up to now I've already lost 1,5kg, I feel great but on the other hand I noticed I start feeling bad about myself whenever I eat a bit more than usually. I have an addictive personality, I'm already struggling with anxiety disorder and I really don't wan't to develop a new problem.",1.7838421955403092,4.093518962264152,4.4210120068610665,80.52956260720414,81.0754716981132,8.00548885077187,28.504288164665518,8.841846274778883,2.7234641509433968,414,20,80,11,11,146,77,106,0.226,0.626,0.14800000000000002,-0.8381,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,4,8,0,1,4,0,5,9,1,1,0,13,14,6,0,2,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,1,6,16,2,10,13,4,12,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,1,7,47,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352565086180026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31081914508013914,0.11262182011182255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773467931666184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758729280970592,0.08584875233028046,0.15553583626363554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375004916193186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140355290554173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323132053498608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241591067233314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029237644611275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003701970362695,0.11812164821796806,0.0,0.1552657376006028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826185705960725,0.31510582989000263,0.1537327448301701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601463648332365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033605924412955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443831348321786,0.0,0.1229674549486734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347554340674961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497901997004938,0.0,0.0,0.0902194002820114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936061010373196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472262503326239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211919301830332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551045139427172,0.0,0.08306527128092052,0.0,0.0,0.3429863657871529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DerpDurpDerpDurpDerp,2018/04/15,"Why? I‘ve made a post on SuicideWatch already (don‘t know how to link to that on mobile) and described some things a bit. In short: depression, suicidal and recently a short period of terrifying visual and auditory hallucinations, delusion, paranoia and extreme fear.

It was so random on how it started out. Those humanoid things were just suddenly there and are almost completely gone after around 8-9 days. No build-up of those hallucinations and suddenly they are gone again now. I‘m so relieved but still scared and uncomfortable when I‘m in darkness, looking at mirrors or going around corners and there still is this general paranoia (feeling watched all the time and feeling like something is standing right behind me). My parents don’t know about those hallucinations and don’t take my other troubles seriously since I’m looking somewhat happy on the outside so that they don’t cry again. I have no idea what to do, how to tell them about that. I have a little trouble with health insurance and waiting times for psychiatrists are at around half a year here in addition to needing my parents permission for any sort of therapy since I’m a minor. I don’t know what to do. Any ideas on what that was and what to do?",6.929200603318254,8.397585298642536,6.761429864253392,72.82817797888389,64.79185520361992,9.6942383107089,36.00030165912519,9.888512548439397,3.7736169532428367,985,47,163,21,15,311,131,221,0.174,0.777,0.05,-0.979,2,0,1,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,3,0,21,9,0,2,8,0,18,1,0,4,1,42,37,21,1,1,3,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,17,18,0,1,8,0,0,3,7,6,0,1,6,5,10,3,31,31,4,40,0,1,3,0,6,19,0,6,17,120,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318330211944484,0.0,0.1452840772494208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790592265301898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35160140387168703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373267781677376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803729799358164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461634864564613,0.08490629763951484,0.0,0.11339387687422685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814797856865922,0.13313699941058085,0.09405404169842442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482231862157046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401487238420108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994263745561664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972439392053329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21706170409339134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431976633398723,0.13195245282726786,0.0,0.0,0.2211133393636738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457472493761412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762018569360482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923736101657032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608867275323454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999299193621278,0.0,0.0,0.1124322721764716,0.0,0.0,0.13180917870050307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178120197652182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013541099001516,0.0,0.0,0.09318577293986964,0.0,0.2102789982840287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400871676243676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898784211729617,0.0,0.11507188557064713,0.0,0.15055845953269634,0.0,0.17493087508817434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353766163992486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879775997418338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478121812823436
mentalhealth,TheProfessor_Reddit,2018/04/15,"I feel scared over nothing. I’m making this post just to talk about myself, it’ll give me some comfort knowing that someone reads this.

I feel scared over nothing, I don’t know what this is, I don’t know what I’m scared of, yet regardless it’s still there. I feel sick in my stomach, afraid to turn around and see something. Afraid to move and something see me, afraid to look and hear something. I’m afraid of nothing, yet it’s strong. I feel scared over every sound. A plane flying is going to drop bombs or is spying on me somehow, the sound of a crack means something is coming or breaking. I feel afraid to look, my shadow is evil or that poster is looking at me. I just feel afraid.

I know how illogical everything is, how it makes no sense yet I still feel afraid of nothing.",2.5671428571428585,4.518474617834401,2.8383484986351237,94.68689490445864,76.70700636942675,5.250045495905368,22.67925386715196,5.773587663045528,0.12830882620564174,613,18,131,3,14,187,77,157,0.16899999999999998,0.815,0.016,-0.9713,0,0,4,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,13,14,1,11,3,0,10,2,1,4,0,29,37,8,0,1,5,0,7,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,11,5,0,0,12,1,0,3,3,12,0,0,0,15,17,2,18,36,1,18,0,0,5,0,3,7,0,5,5,77,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760892789216163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445103787761296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238218587291816,0.0,0.0985435034758362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38808513315800347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518323338828924,0.062314822034008274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357994973532355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410361277252873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762271735018188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638022496364497,0.0,0.0,0.11943754526093267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653723110902925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208363740078398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050113568768367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967650503922316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391024317069336,0.0,0.1747486598334514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290340582499916,0.3376459557628553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512820501904605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812997105657225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926426847659913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OddFawn,2018/04/15,"What works for you? I’ve been on medication for my depression since 2009. But since then I’ve lost interest in everything I used to enjoy. There are maybe months in a row where it almost feels like I’m me again, but it never lasts. How do you find enthusiasm for the things you used to love?",2.831016949152541,4.613252440677968,3.812000000000001,88.74952542372883,75.4406779661017,8.109830508474579,20.274576271186444,8.841846274778883,1.0103328813559322,230,5,51,5,5,74,45,59,0.06,0.7040000000000001,0.236,0.9139,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,2,4,6,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,3,1,9,9,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,6,4,8,7,0,9,0,2,0,1,4,4,0,1,6,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24278353502395034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088260287761249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790280828982614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259246987788665,0.17320981131998134,0.0,0.0,0.22159936353374407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763308334600724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845120517603283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26466813716058657,0.0,0.2188249909791719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435785103340269,0.0,0.0,0.24424777926303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352516826632224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869961466580788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011223565248392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107624574611706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188063330052509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651003680216948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nanlov,2018/04/15,"Kinda having a meltdown Just freaking out


I'm ""safe"" but Christ my life sucks",0.5380000000000003,2.585124133333334,1.3066666666666684,94.60000000000002,107.66666666666666,2.0,18.333333333333336,3.1291,-0.7076666666666658,62,2,11,0,3,19,15,15,0.319,0.6809999999999999,0.0,-0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imlittttthrowaway,2018/04/15,"what do i do about this depression i grew up abused pretty bad and since ive left home things seem to keep getting worse to the point where ive been considering suicide but at this point i have no idea, for some reason literally it couldnt matter less what i do im never satisfied with myself or anything i do. i dont really have anyone since i ended up having to move because of my family situation, and the few people i knew ended up getting lost due to the controlling nature of the person im living with either way idk what to do tbh i have a really hard time just being conscious any tips on how to deal with literally feeling nothing would be amazing sorry for being lame though idk i figured this is better than just choking myself unconcious",6.975385906040269,6.445717906040272,7.90864932885906,71.5346518456376,64.57046979865771,10.40302013422819,31.376677852348994,9.827888789773867,2.951314765100672,604,19,108,11,8,205,97,149,0.25,0.7020000000000001,0.048,-0.9809,0,0,0,0,1,1,3.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,5,0,19,0,0,3,1,25,26,6,1,2,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,8,5,0,2,7,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,2,15,2,20,18,4,17,0,3,0,0,2,9,0,3,5,80,23,0,0.0,0.1696419771984622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736563975819572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001130678815246,0.0,0.11782291928054835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954726879717514,0.08727970196013413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662890256064954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605857903467909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760976106678905,0.12331860893702334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780301535966935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536256134598576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497504610653754,0.0,0.07239486830304244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960871471870404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825895658184228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361875072011218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163001966332013,0.3093126340453868,0.0,0.0,0.12726277981077638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556282060128854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642839457840802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629520273829192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217507047798082,0.0,0.0,0.11042734862893844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373827150879061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992612813479488,0.12501710889665266,0.0,0.0,0.27069811650153314,0.0,0.0,0.14566303561044178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183446402047676,0.14721036152563696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034345878017528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368758880781787,0.16093755847730146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027553850670734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661299459447184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512079827704073,0.0,0.1406712101304916,0.0,0.08348797737059467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364767014397435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591014944219968,0.10170921936735147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kailie9,2018/04/15,"I'm lying in bed after spending a typical saturday night alone in my senior-year college apartment. After turning off the TV, silence overwhelmed me and i started to write this piece. wondering if others can relate or if I should start trying to grow a pair. thx I have not been well, and am struggling to find myself and to understand my priorities.

Think about glittery gold nail polish.  It's appealing, but why?  First off, you should be wearing minimal polish.  Or none.  Second of all, you'd be giving into a consumerist mentality by buying the polish.  Third, you'd be wasting money that you don't have or that should be saved. Fourth, you'd be giving into a vain mentality. Finally, you'd be trying to find confidence and happiness in appearance because you are too much of a failure to find it in your (lack of) success.
This is what flew through my mind when a Buzzfeed quiz told me that I'd be suited for a glittery golden nail polish.
The initial sense of delight turned into guilt over that delight, and a sense that I wasn't deserving of wearing such a loud color.  I don't have a career, I thought.  They'll get the wrong impression of me. And then, I thought, Maybe the fact that I want to wear this color proves that I'm not cut out for a professional career. 

This thought was followed with a pang of anxiety in my gut, along with guilt and shame.

To top it off, I felt lonely.  Lonely that I'd had such a strong reaction to such an innocent quiz.

And yet, I still can't figure out why I want to wear the color, despite the embarrassment I'd feel wearing it.

I've been killing myself with stress-in fact, I've never felt so isolated, stressed, lost, or afraid in my life.  It's beyond reason, and beyond hope.  I've cut my hair to look older and smarter (and now look like a tired, middle aged lady at the age of 21), and I've been suffering through a 9-year-long weight loss struggle to better fit societal standards.  And no, I'm not trying to change my appearance out of vanity.  Or to be admired, or loved. I stopped doing it out of vanity when I realized that I had no reason to be vain, for my lack of success has made it impossible for me to feel deserving of any beauty or praise.  No amount of attention, or glares, or happiness with my own appearance will change the feeling of deep failure that is within me.  In fact, I feel an even bigger sense of failure and sham when I spend any time at all trying to better my appearance.  Even face creams, which I apply nightly to avoid another acne disaster, make me feel guilty-because I truly believe myself to be undeserving of them.

So I lie here, with dull, unpolished nails, a Fitbit around my wrist, with a goop of face cream on my tired and aging face, wearing a grandmotherly robe and sitting alone in my room at 3:05 AM on a Saturday night.  Frustrated.  So, unbelievably frustrated.  And tired. With life, with myself, with my situation, with my family--with  absolutely everything.  And after spending several hours watching Jersey Shore to escape my reality for a bit, I can't help but feel jealousy.  Jealousy at the cast, who spend their days at the gym, tanning, doing daily laundry, then going out to clubs.  I can't help but feel jealousy towards their lack of shame, and admiration at their acceptance of a certain tacky lifestyle.  I sit here in my room, aging prematurely and absolutely, undoubtedly depressed.  With a dull and tiring sense of dread for tomorrow.  It's a dread that I've begun to fear, and one that I cannot seem to escape. 

And so, if you're still wondering: why not just paint your nails the golden color and embrace your desire to run away from it all, if you're so miserable?

I answer with: I cannot come up with any sort of answer to this question, and it is for this reason that I am so miserable. 

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mentalhealth,icecreamsandwichcat,2018/04/15,"How do you know how to choose the right therapist? My last one was not very competent, but she seemed fine enough during our consultation. I did figure out she was crap by the second month or so. Is there a way to know if the therapist is good for me right away? I like to go to therapy again, but I’d hate to waste my time again with a bad therapist.",2.2674429223744283,3.756396589041096,3.541301369863014,91.3433675799087,76.26027397260273,8.154337899543378,20.38584474885845,8.841846274778883,0.9488557077625576,273,6,64,6,6,89,53,73,0.214,0.6809999999999999,0.106,-0.8897,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,0,1,6,6,2,0,5,0,6,1,1,2,0,14,11,7,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,3,0,9,3,10,8,1,11,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,3,6,44,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818471674849593,0.0,0.16160667304131116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998951737262285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999927088530924,0.16234106701949913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910911544650164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21274070471010886,0.15776957835171562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455905043568608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544902487017709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115490109011071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305823233289943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620120424415034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134198831734,0.6741815212976692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286091600052425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969952183536584,0.0,0.1536314635679743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamJayP,2018/04/15,"i don't know what to do anymore here's where... i can talk. im fourteen... i don't feel happy anymore. i used to be a genial little kid... but when i was eight, it all went away. my father raped my aunt and went to prison. my mother and i were were by ourselves for the longest time. i don't want to tell you my life story... my past is rigorous. here i am, a freshman in high school, simply no upper classmen like freshman in ours and i get it.. i hate my class too. i thought eighth grade was shit. now im in high school. im stressed... i feel suicidal... im working at mcdonalds where i get treated like shit and dont make enough money to pay off my phone bill and do laundry and buy food, im constantly yelled at by my parents... im trying to memorize a lead role in a play... ive lost all my friends. everytime i try to help... im screwed over and get hurt or i fuck up. my parents and teachers have too high of prospects for me, my director aswell. i am struggling with grades. my therapist quit. i have no money constantly. im constantly grounded for no reason. i feel like im not gonna make it to college. i fucking hate myself. i don't want to be alive anymore... but i live in a society where many love to see this as attention-seeking. So I don't see my point in posting this anyways. i just feel alone. no one want's to help me either :)",-0.7106226834692357,1.4409241126760577,1.6176945885841398,96.7759710896961,93.08450704225352,4.679614529280951,21.2060785767235,6.339386263674448,0.2559732394366199,1024,39,236,12,38,344,147,284,0.234,0.654,0.112,-0.9901,3,1,0,0,0,3,61.0,1,1,0,4,12,20,8,2,6,0,21,9,2,5,2,32,47,14,1,3,6,5,4,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,6,9,1,0,8,1,5,3,11,12,0,2,8,7,42,8,31,36,4,33,0,2,2,5,16,22,5,1,10,139,48,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387574240617405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221878206976785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701631553534182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312452104390388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359752084495857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370233358797272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442651432469121,0.05095773473431567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625178874282956,0.0,0.0551089143873518,0.13188575437812686,0.11179999614855222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593146837637371,0.0,0.14084602230276136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956211811210984,0.22609026929839496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763595936571314,0.0,0.6934318905150544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039200770601067636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050382061835509695,0.1045438196541232,0.07149079366811363,0.06298516345793474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786446173732889,0.0,0.06437756474981686,0.0,0.09522585138560576,0.07231681192369195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833464472955507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584057059228716,0.0,0.06809197954416997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742933489134094,0.0,0.06831384407448486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586759272457237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333849895280913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443783136356945,0.11368058708248928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643719986753134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170758208846278,0.07456897194165785,0.0,0.07802278196336546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057331866572381526,0.06234503604946934,0.0,0.0,0.08281892643560758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056627572830511876,0.04159274440678008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968559553602324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061605696177648085,0.0,0.0,0.12621577747471727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224612936840907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192864979624652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SillyNarwhal,2018/04/15,"I cannot forgive myself 6 months ago, I made a mistake, I am having a hard time forgiving myself for the action that I have committed. This is causing me to be depressed and restless. Although the other guy has forgiven me, I still cannot get over what I did, please help me ",6.2341212121212095,5.677122836363638,7.007272727272728,77.47757575757578,66.0909090909091,9.515151515151514,34.69696969696969,8.841846274778883,2.9305151515151517,216,9,41,3,3,72,43,55,0.191,0.59,0.219,0.379,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,4,0,9,0,0,2,1,7,11,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,11,2,3,8,0,6,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,34,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29876461177349395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462317486967115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902910744473827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608889249052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33372145850163965,0.0,0.0,0.3019206155062709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22591004198081865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189143166102171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26902120084306325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699674551123471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691596672953344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965300684402425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,insomniatica,2018/04/15,"Still not able to work due to mental health... But I am getting better. I have been on disability for a few years, due to mental health...

So lately I've been considering going back to work part time. I talked to therapist and she was hesitant. Said I should try volunteering a few hours one or two days... And NOT go back to work (yet).

Well... it's a really good thing I didn't just start applying places. I helped the next door neighbor with a new fence between us... like... all day. I kept having panic attacks and thought my heart was stopping. My hand was cramping and bleeding but I felt like I couldn't tell him I needed to stop. So I slapped a band-aid on and kept going. The only break we took, I spent watering the garden. I kept thinking ""take care of yourself, Mary,"" but kept not doing anything about it. Finally I was able to muster a little ""my hand's starting to cramp"" ... Then after a few more boards he asked me if it was hurting really badly, I said yeah and then he asked me if I wanted to stop or keep going. It was really hard for me to say ""let's stop"" 😟

I've gotten very far in my growth. But I'm understanding that just because I can get in the water, doesn't mean I can or should jump into the deep end. But I can continue to learn how to swim. ❤️",0.8255418719211818,2.990042302681996,2.6936330049261086,92.3530603448276,83.82758620689657,5.720908593322386,18.899972632731256,7.021680442328713,0.1959949644225505,975,25,215,13,28,324,153,261,0.109,0.8109999999999999,0.08,-0.6583,0,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,2,0,0,4,11,10,1,1,12,1,21,10,3,1,1,47,51,21,0,7,15,0,4,2,1,2,5,3,3,0,6,9,2,10,6,2,1,8,6,4,1,2,20,7,30,6,25,27,6,44,0,1,0,0,15,9,0,5,28,133,36,4,0.20820439970732754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566724039728373,0.0,0.1946430081983533,0.1184312810150706,0.0,0.16009633168432147,0.0869209885260164,0.06345973478910806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206993599502754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061391307987324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427461349099065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220364990040272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995443726449088,0.11403887146436005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877820552738396,0.0,0.2366547168518967,0.08731598614183475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932551233129684,0.0,0.0,0.22131154081222906,0.0,0.1233616080591414,0.0697775101817171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251969706459213,0.0,0.1114435580362566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253081843709032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743181580759245,0.0,0.0,0.1064515524902014,0.0,0.10171815288654856,0.10433775288255998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339781424628705,0.0,0.0,0.20982106470755316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719046211730697,0.0,0.1005425533205354,0.1107138705580794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054234480695079,0.07917441401349762,0.0,0.12214150145629092,0.0,0.11273253775619947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876464182330077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007160474629532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980500624494576,0.0827862476799833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736814573501064,0.0,0.08313615127742949,0.34813640186241634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782718986113307,0.08367340492113019,0.09098991116229782,0.0,0.0,0.12087067770645638,0.06916087585113903,0.06670448620363169,0.0,0.08264551835524495,0.06070282990238629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156613744541072,0.07067856025276965,0.0,0.10169272261576907,0.1083740614089276,0.12522212865816526,0.0,0.0,0.08589521734361619,0.061402174668684674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360037984004503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273629240340505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703840358106733
mentalhealth,BoozyGiggles,2018/04/15,"Taking Xanax for Over a Decade I have no idea where to post this, but I am starting here. I have been taking Xanax for general and social anxiety for 12 years now. I am down to .5 mg a day. That is 1/4 of what I’m prescribed. It started to really slow me down mentally and I hated it. Anyway, so I think and act much more clearly now.

One problem. My sense of perception is very off. Anytime I go into a public place, I find it overwhelming. I’ve gotten better though; but I CANNOT deviate my eyes very far. And I have no peripheral vision really. It’s quite scary and confusing: it’s effected almost all aspects of my life. Today I was at the grocery store and could only look at things directly in front of me, and definitely not people. I’m sure I look odd to others if they are trying to get my attention. I cannot at all make eye contact with strangers. 

In fact, my parter’s boss was right behind me in a grocery store today and I absolutely was so painfully oblivious that I had no clue it was him. He finally said something to me, and I know he probably thought “what an odd person”. I would have to agree. Help! Does anyone have any experience with this?? I’m not looking for any judgement or preaching please.",1.8823456790123456,4.190702798353911,3.7884543209876536,85.21364444444445,80.6872427983539,7.015572016460905,23.711769547325105,8.109356740369918,1.5480029300411524,952,34,188,19,25,321,147,243,0.161,0.748,0.091,-0.9606,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,3,8,7,1,2,6,0,20,6,2,3,5,39,39,16,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,14,12,0,0,8,0,2,3,7,5,0,1,9,6,28,2,29,28,4,29,1,1,5,0,10,15,0,4,10,128,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885555116731876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885974194186965,0.0,0.10608031936997243,0.0,0.0,0.0969595963187569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264020606278525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107147793757546,0.0,0.0,0.08942911760265207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134893397380207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356435017435335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190355618702647,0.12673965620761565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244808740683202,0.0,0.07880798147294843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690552709594894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294595607947473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565388194685459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620807565541489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794501284451136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34933752935659323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256168661322044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974430596670046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193662680749097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939647411479001,0.10546294340901932,0.1475520822170991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613464029460428,0.1210791824490127,0.1448781075103065,0.1522153620626876,0.0,0.0,0.13280521065569995,0.0,0.14950710500448527,0.13268614686922314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749004056545126,0.0,0.0,0.17766800543681602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842135589861905,0.13190462340964776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135413528280466,0.0,0.10675307799022964,0.0,0.0,0.19629925409102447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069255335743246,0.0,0.20852152596559775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212457871508113,0.0888525862966541,0.13624019357857062,0.11008656942913853,0.0,0.0,0.2628813042756714,0.0,0.0,0.09414618463608784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288305523617989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850547046889788,0.0,0.0,0.08929737530985449
mentalhealth,watersunflower,2018/04/15,"So many mental health problems I have so many mental health problems I honestly don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I think I could probably be diagnosed with like 10 different mental illnesses. I haven’t actually been diagnosed with anything but I am pretty sure I have depression, anxiety/social anxiety, some type of eating disorder, possibly avoidant personality disorder, and who knows what else. I’m so stressed all the time and I just don’t know what to do. I have no friends and no life. How do I deal with having so many issues?",4.5600220022002205,7.003249138613862,5.727260726072612,73.98899889989,72.46534653465345,10.033443344334431,32.014301430143014,10.25414643259724,3.984424862486249,437,21,74,14,9,145,63,101,0.259,0.609,0.132,-0.9277,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,2,1,0,13,7,0,1,2,20,19,9,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,1,4,6,1,1,4,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,1,0,10,4,6,16,2,3,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.1286831483359014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087787711518137,0.0,0.13077660830769208,0.0,0.0,0.1085152869712636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528505169511436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359490638980178,0.11357683479081285,0.2676844134679933,0.0,0.1377729253918679,0.3022619620577604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493283896193778,0.11015793918798396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709689519914361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018800999724076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494304238467381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803368621414472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763486475314646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174119272116606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931415462213464,0.06442354451644425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010772545809305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986726946689086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514115870729112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486602041420656,0.0,0.1341561235020429,0.14217490535532973,0.25235777754547833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105317758875755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242830660367739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844950348475016,0.0,0.0,0.07689269522721909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shawiwowie,2018/04/15,"Art and resilience Hi there fellow Redditors! I'm a fourth year medical student going into psychiatric residency this summer. A professor reached out and asked if I could be part of a panel for a discussion on mental health and the use of art in building resilience. I am working on a PowerPoint presentation that will be shown in a public forum at my university in a few weeks. If any of you have a story you'd like to share or any artwork please send me a PM and I'll share my information. I can keep everything anonymous, I won't say anything about your story if you don't want me to. Hope you are having a wonderful day, take care! I hope you can help me inspire and educate your fellow humans.  ",3.4277493917274917,5.513281014598544,5.141332116788323,78.53613442822385,74.62043795620437,8.36228710462287,28.204987834549875,9.075114841892004,2.6128447688564487,557,23,102,13,12,189,92,137,0.009000000000000001,0.769,0.222,0.98,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,7,0,1,2,7,0,0,11,0,13,2,0,1,0,20,24,9,0,7,4,0,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,1,2,7,0,1,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,17,7,15,18,2,15,0,0,0,0,20,8,0,7,6,69,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858257304224208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293997167532568,0.0,0.19646691178866735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142674164459076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677919707553279,0.0,0.0,0.13553283464109062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887410501184526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943614571742678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233853420630503,0.0,0.0,0.14086272160091112,0.0,0.0,0.4174634228896787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186795758161395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026713035081256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170943629178285,0.21178719437635496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275777974874849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23068749920958825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712399351825932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580106919055921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150677345665225,0.0,0.0,0.12395508830167035,0.0,0.16857396978463848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22790454542207714,0.152995619874139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353331747667272
mentalhealth,RubyFire0,2018/04/15,"How to be good enough? I feel like I’m not really worth anything. I don’t have any friends and my family hates me. My s/o isn’t happy with me. I’m unemployed, overweight, lazy, selfish, bitchy, needy, clingy, mean, and a whole slew of other things. 

How can I get better when I don’t have income to get help? Just go see a therapist isn’t an option due to money. 

I just want to be enough to actually be worth something. The way I see it now, I don’t want any kind of legacy, but I’m too worthless in my own life to do anything. Why exist then? I’m just taking resources that would go to someone who deserves it. Because I honestly don’t. ",0.9821297359357076,2.873615410447762,3.0479104477611965,91.56970723306546,81.4626865671642,5.914121699196326,21.501722158438568,7.010146845296331,0.5068043628013776,491,15,109,6,13,166,83,134,0.13699999999999998,0.721,0.142,0.1673,3,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,8,10,1,0,4,0,14,2,0,2,0,16,30,7,0,3,5,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,2,0,3,2,7,3,0,0,0,3,13,7,11,26,4,8,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,1,5,65,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.16976495963784705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23660462982857436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28631710602352983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604758323938167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538580996867488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35950515155922097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399892662053758,0.0,0.08796204214787136,0.12428078771012112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440509719709945,0.0,0.1817792942821398,0.0,0.197736886765648,0.14591377255636126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18518921123562,0.0,0.17175463831829949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660521973222153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115800582325176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287677943345815,0.0849906190203921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894991238997595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144657437076166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772555134882513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474001661092384,0.13392692529299394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080019497204398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019870284342244,0.11557476190384333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521838771926298,0.13808549397957173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697655221590268,0.19422595513349555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357990076545355,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,violetnoire,2018/04/16,"Jealous of ex's partners Hey, I wonder if anybody has the same issue. 

I have BPD and paranoia issues and I'm extremely jealous of my boyfriend's ex partners. When he tells me anything about them I feel sick and hurt and I get really pissed for hours. It's not even like he's gushing about them or anything but no matter what he says, my brain immediately plays a vivid film of him getting engaged with that person in particular and I get so pissed and I start hating them (and myself).
Sometimes when we're talking about a certain topic, for example sexual preferences, he's mentioning how his ex did this and that and I immediately compare myself to them and I'm obsessing about how they were probably better at everything they did and how he'd probably want to have them back and then I get myself in such a state that I'm having a mental breakdown and almost feel like hurting myself again (I stopped self-harming a year ago).
He doesn't know about any of this because I don't dare to tell him since I'm scared that he might leave me. He doesn't know about my mental issues and I just don't know how to tell him. I'm always pretending that I'm fine with what he's saying and then going to the bathroom and crying, then I go back.
Before this boyfriend I never had a proper relationship, only emotionally abusive experiences so I know where my jealousy comes from but he never experienced anything similar, he only had ""normal"" relationships.
I've been trying to talk about my jealousy with him (without mentioning my mental issues) and he's always making fun of it, either he's not taking me seriously at all or he just says it's cute how jealous I am. 
He's sometimes pretty reckless, once for example he said he was missing his ex. He didn't think much about it and just said it straight forward, later we talked about it and he said that he meant it more like ""I would like to see her again to show her how far I got since that relationship"" but in that moment when he told me, I felt so shocked, I couldn't breathe anymore and then I felt hella suicidal for hours. I think that's not something anyone should say, even if your partner doesn't have mental issues.

I feel really desperate because I want to let him know how bad I feel about all of this but I also really don't want to lose him, I don't want him to think I'm a crazy bitch who wants to control him or anything. Does anyone have an advice how to handle that?",4.147587991718428,5.549857708074538,5.1070962732919245,82.3437914078675,71.29813664596273,7.685507246376813,27.08126293995859,8.167268648758528,1.737024430641822,1935,66,373,28,36,633,206,483,0.199,0.718,0.083,-0.9965,0,0,1,0,0,1,40.0,1,1,7,3,36,27,7,2,10,0,28,5,4,10,5,88,74,48,1,12,17,4,6,4,3,3,1,7,0,4,24,25,0,2,17,4,0,4,16,16,0,0,16,16,62,11,43,52,6,34,0,4,2,0,71,9,3,8,26,237,86,0,0.0,0.08141102288692986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714336600320342,0.060907948920452,0.0,0.0688039076131658,0.0,0.0,0.054947975315697575,0.1143457244195904,0.0,0.0,0.046725677557281485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814261744529786,0.0960883313809602,0.0,0.2261724258715033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566867667923592,0.057370620154532176,0.08377089127566839,0.0,0.058467801685482386,0.0,0.0,0.060769089436227726,0.0,0.0,0.08653880534033485,0.07670393966635537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059188241455989665,0.0,0.0,0.07706496746347062,0.0,0.0,0.07547555082495082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012925498404367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729036433551949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076562677423948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061752806625637,0.06721231440752765,0.0,0.0,0.13896891271009518,0.04908698546867368,0.13194622266277473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359415870046802,0.0,0.07809982432623151,0.0,0.05495427698820818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783765689490458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533252896427864,0.0,0.14711259375182947,0.0,0.0,0.3585809441525837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880820221778832,0.0,0.0,0.07275478089733077,0.0,0.07026141426069539,0.0,0.13427443960392005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686977241815449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586497032863133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27697716760673,0.07289126520983844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050510319496042635,0.0,0.10598795834660887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732196270140839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317472407228022,0.0,0.1045152686216054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999559119578249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990355171343084,0.14816365573811596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205362978783713,0.0,0.0,0.2213089474887777,0.0,0.0,0.1960790212533368,0.2185662381529757,0.06879146416966568,0.0,0.05475358505713394,0.0,0.07168031494283814,0.0,0.0,0.11367651252457378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289690511984068,0.13591341041739902,0.0,0.04863383433168436,0.0,0.0,0.057445277636356436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515842657507503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166194540758877,0.16568133469845595,0.18016871596982711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320812546711785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565608212928448,0.0,0.046650100304798034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263695220890002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623472716169626,0.07451389549494146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881015726455635,0.0,0.0,0.04424748099205617
mentalhealth,Chamoswor,2018/04/16,"These feelings are killing me 7 days with restlessness, unpleasant psycological feelings around my cheat region, depressive tought Loops. Short summery, I feel  ill and feel like puking up now and then. I can't talk about my issues when I don't know what it is. I feel stuck. I'm not usually like this, what is wrong with me? ",4.59098360655738,6.642887114754102,4.4499672131147525,84.88806557377049,71.29508196721312,8.158688524590165,26.95409836065573,8.841846274778883,1.9841842622950816,258,9,50,5,5,79,46,61,0.35600000000000004,0.575,0.068,-0.9638,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,13,4,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,5,8,2,5,12,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,29,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226284018597101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393226553568466,0.0,0.2189344683569777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6426334249275465,0.18159421111343813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653095237036143,0.0,0.0,0.2812248502028039,0.0,0.13969681049314672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483699161780253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20430922088970932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799556441304124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779181231593433,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baemey,2018/04/16,"Is there a term for when it feels like your brain can't make your body move? Like I can be screaming at myself inside my own head to do something, even something simple, and it's as if there's a missing link in the chain and no matter how much I want to move or how frustrated I get, I can't move. I call it the frozen feeling, but it's not that I physically can't move, it's just like the message to do so gets super weak between my brain and my muscles and so they just stay put. What is the deal with this?",6.5156756756756735,3.896173000000001,6.781513513513513,85.98308108108111,66.74774774774775,9.60072072072072,31.209009009009012,6.742157984588678,1.5258490090090082,397,10,96,2,5,129,70,111,0.102,0.752,0.146,0.597,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,1,10,8,1,0,6,0,9,5,4,3,0,19,16,13,0,2,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,5,5,4,0,0,0,3,13,4,9,15,3,10,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,5,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898976952387285,0.0,0.35977017182584464,0.16454154831381013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612785221255322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643118620272113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295404715076148,0.11511816259565402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683775806482955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537571860333555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361740075782767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756193441754024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6850635740101818,0.11845614712304273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198980527911452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481062736386137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717533735303817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504431119388608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tonystarkwasright,2018/04/16,"Can you truly improve your mental health? [UK] Using a throwaway and hopefully this doesn't breaks any rules - have had a rough year and can easily identify changes in my mental health; I lost my job, my father committed suicide and have started a new job which is full of stress.  Anxiety levels through the roof, I'm starting to become super paranoid I could be fired for the littlest mistake despite all the good I'm doing.  I'm terrified I'll grow up to be like my dad and ultimatly pass on that legacy of mental illness and suicide onto them if I repeat what he did.  Day by day I feel like the joy of life (corny I know) is getting sucked out and there's nothing really to live for.  That death would actually be a release of some kind when it does come.  I'm investing a lot of time into self improvement, speaking to someone (professional) and trying to change my mind set but it would give me a glimmer of hope if anyone on this sub has been through something similar and managed to turn things around.  ",5.39307692307692,6.349176307692312,5.932820512820518,79.24384615384619,67.97435897435898,8.666666666666668,31.92307692307693,8.841846274778883,2.6528461538461543,800,33,147,13,13,259,133,195,0.13,0.746,0.125,-0.0008,2,0,1,0,0,2,18.0,0,2,1,2,3,12,1,1,10,0,18,4,0,1,2,29,35,12,3,8,3,2,3,2,0,2,4,1,0,1,9,12,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,4,0,0,4,4,14,8,25,25,4,24,0,1,0,0,9,10,1,6,11,93,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.12401680178801243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642227919758153,0.0,0.09721981357133606,0.0,0.0,0.08886091156254403,0.0,0.0,0.11313275233185625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403555948847932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688785355495019,0.1094726282364264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014671738775824,0.0,0.0,0.16391885305051154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121309596427237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425808464357198,0.0907896767883307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639676042760673,0.12191168317643973,0.0,0.10659301806371796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701712035776303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524485142357905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522248598460755,0.0,0.0,0.13233965683154528,0.06984269044298252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976401980630637,0.12417479761874982,0.0,0.11221854076953736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872848452325084,0.10804327400308776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38421590699652575,0.0,0.12831980219644706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273965714433333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194165610922733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141401943708562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257755724069048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076788591879369,0.0978363790947844,0.0,0.0,0.17990308664477658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557564239550091,0.0,0.0,0.2780211166572955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442974550992237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410438947334665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628249399260289,0.13823218059017953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976079045606114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805553288606297,0.0,0.0,0.08183868819017806
mentalhealth,auniqueusernamehere,2018/04/16,"My panic attacks are embarrassing When counseling is not available and I’m confronted with my triggers 

***
(TRIGGER WARNING: 
I was almost murdered/raped recently and she fabricated the whole thing then blamed on the alcohol after I escaped...and there wasn’t enough proof to press charges. She was also psychologically abusive throughout our entire friendship) 
** *

I have this tendency to just spill everything, all my concerns, experiences, and emotions, to people, friends or acquaintances, even the ones that I hardly know, making them extremely uncomfortable. 

I was prescribed to Xanax (I gave that up as it’s super addictive?) and Prozac (doesn’t work). 

What the fuck do you do? ",4.684414682539682,8.160869723214287,4.64202380952381,72.86408730158729,88.375,7.488888888888887,32.11507936507937,8.167268648758528,3.7234805555555566,547,29,76,14,18,169,87,112,0.234,0.7120000000000001,0.055,-0.9678,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,1,1,1,2,5,7,3,2,4,0,10,5,0,3,2,15,15,9,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,5,2,14,2,9,10,3,6,0,0,0,1,7,2,1,2,4,59,20,1,0.0,0.266842504652113,0.0,0.2455171854608335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24068594324231354,0.2255199159314005,0.0,0.0,0.18010405518633035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562141503159689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533361413897123,0.0,0.2327069125057396,0.0,0.1487521365405014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024083840853949,0.22030311970013794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400026151568854,0.2082072928409458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017480683942162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377206867583986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033251179370327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261125929820055,0.0,0.0,0.26424083861727365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613546462546676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223722732553174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962259032774367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514440872491846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395893015046015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,7_Cube,2018/04/16,"Help I've been having these weird dreams lately...

Like, is any of this for real, or not?...










WHEN YOU WALK A-WAY 
YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAY
PLEAASE OOOH BABY
DON'T GO",-0.03500000000000013,2.1723126969697013,0.8578030303030317,103.60670454545456,88.6969696969697,3.3000000000000003,11.280303030303033,3.1291,-1.9762060606060603,121,1,29,0,4,37,31,33,0.046,0.738,0.21600000000000005,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,2,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26522267164122176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165375811961094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395737545734776,0.0,0.2614179437409857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4399524107157754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19054098017744991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439209445032293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31015452661140824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30957469982471925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boatwell,2018/04/16,"I am going to my first appointment with a psychiatrist. What should I prepare to talk about to maximize the effectiveness of the session? I was referred to a psychiatrist through my national health-insurance for moderate to severe depression and anxiety. 

Where I am from resources for state-covered psychiatrists are very limited, so I had to wait a long time to finally get this appointment. I would like to make the most of it.

What should I expect, and, what should I prepare to mention to make the most use out of the appointment and to give the doctor a clear impression of what is unwell with me? 

I have been on medications before; and I have also seen a youth-psychiatrist before over 10 years ago, and I don't remember exactly how things went down. I was too young and naïve to properly navigate the mental-health treatment system, and also too young to admit to myself my feelings and thoughts.

Any advice would be appreciated.  ",8.876973856209155,8.677091782352942,8.921372549019614,64.74395424836604,60.58823529411765,12.967320261437907,38.888888888888886,12.261556223090626,5.109986928104576,753,34,124,23,9,247,101,170,0.063,0.86,0.077,0.3109,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,0,12,0,17,2,0,5,2,33,29,12,0,6,0,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,7,11,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,7,2,17,2,29,16,2,17,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,2,9,100,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162662458030367,0.15568813876307586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28090744007397805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943652512150288,0.0,0.13435883447801558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29890165022203913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127252458705062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976791164176953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888053683847581,0.0,0.0,0.1923974671604529,0.0,0.1493934181405553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176104146325477,0.1684832654901216,0.09981633352121708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733795271637469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580545707052115,0.0,0.0,0.1554297593686965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344729051445892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769318624236725,0.17699684716390335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895805535461653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19841540173234626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116722630447648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668282200176144,0.0,0.0,0.1394330564616402,0.10241306821719047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169060025239672,0.0,0.14491569449872313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281363566692775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24952941847300056,0.0,0.0,0.11310195274519648
mentalhealth,computersayshoe,2018/04/16,"I get into a bad mood for no good reason. It’s affecting my relationships and I want it to stop I regularly get angry or get into a really bad mood for not much reason. Sometime a small thing that someone did/said would set me off, and I would be in a bad mood for hours. I get very negative during this period and hate people in my surroundings. My immediate friends and family usually get the brunt of it, which is unfair because they haven’t really done anything wrong. After the angry period has passed, I get a deep sense of guilt and regret because I’ve acted like a total bitch and the people around me doesn’t deserve it. Please help me find a way to help myself. I don’t want my relationships to suffer because of my irrational anger :( 

I initially attributed it to being hangry, but sometimes I’m not even hungry at all. Tired maybe, but sometimes there’s just no reason at all. I want to end this cycle before I emotionally hurt more people and end up permanently breaking my relationships with friends and family. ",6.335592216582064,6.811737918781732,7.344479695431472,71.64619500846025,65.751269035533,10.627580372250424,29.61463620981388,10.504223727775694,3.1392575296108296,818,26,145,20,12,276,113,197,0.232,0.677,0.091,-0.9792,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,4,18,3,1,10,0,10,1,0,5,3,34,21,11,0,6,6,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,10,12,0,1,4,0,0,2,8,11,0,0,1,0,21,4,22,16,5,25,0,3,0,0,8,12,1,1,9,97,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650283119498428,0.09357695346526974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263306424821135,0.19223614653687648,0.0,0.0894473384198394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075718045756267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824315565174574,0.18620599253361406,0.0,0.0,0.06942918581613207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19819104296826925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960755853605094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624271996327132,0.0,0.3295176559951481,0.0,0.0,0.08816765866185419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037818710292668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091622787108604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351966525608457,0.0,0.11253056879003193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051355151442987884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560476162206572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727353366149499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862593246890466,0.0,0.0,0.11538756257219387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468205716302534,0.3242352115605852,0.0,0.33857090143141816,0.0,0.0,0.09999091275014813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890658044441972,0.0,0.3118919935487732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878830234973014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983546500743866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081722195938348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577218950568365,0.0867330318085851,0.1860032583892564,0.08343746094729859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934505930817032,0.11492959794187675,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1251TooMany,2018/04/16,"My therapist said something inappropriate and I’m wondering if I shouldn’t go back.. I’m seeing a therapist for my relationship issues mainly, and just to resolve personal problems from childhood/etc
I was discussing with the (male) therapist that I cheated on my boyfriend after an abusive episode of his and the therapist said “was sex always easy for you? I mean did you do it a lot? 
I was very surprised by this, I think this question was inappropriate! Is it normal for a therapist to ask a question like that?! My friend thinks it could be to know me better so he can give better advice but I found that extremely irrelevant. Ugh
I have an appointment today, but I don’t really want to go. If I tell my boyfriend I stopped going to therapy he’s going to wonder why and I don’t really want to tell him..
Need advice!",3.272869198312236,5.653965949367089,4.9483797468354425,78.34619831223631,76.21518987341773,8.26396624472574,28.254852320675106,9.029198982220553,2.7019961181434606,652,28,118,16,15,220,93,158,0.086,0.794,0.12,-0.3835,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,3,3,9,1,0,8,0,14,1,0,0,0,29,35,9,0,9,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,8,5,0,1,10,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,8,3,22,6,16,24,2,9,0,0,1,1,19,1,0,7,5,81,30,0,0.0,0.1259018098614389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767387511475385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841759471772355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993396125392921,0.0,0.0,0.08170808551353366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795829047078685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484069510884414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850901044111295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165096099971706,0.0820969203154097,0.0,0.0,0.10193515348182444,0.2415621099906756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090878912880432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839822061668371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051913716241299306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033923108291543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574928926857875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879112298395984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411313661177904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927829334087474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016773460162292,0.0,0.0,0.2380730903417952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136146927852365,0.0,0.0,0.1140844570317621,0.0,0.0,0.202156929747638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467619261668961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818048447801281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883888404712886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18575344891168288,0.0,0.12151861848069966,0.6168855692203903,0.0,0.13617540903084718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072292385722648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767638446275618,0.12535088307803235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588394910170732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304708618062429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1epicsaxman,2018/04/16,I don't know what to do About 3 weeks ago my uncle who was really close passed away. My grades started dropping and my family life went downhill. My dad lost his twin brother and has been in and out of the hospital for not eating and constant puking. Then my fiance broke up with me because I started acting different. I'm only 19 and I don't know how to deal with this. I don't have money to see a psychiatrist and I need someone to talk to as my fiance was my go to before she left....any advice is greatly appreciated.,2.562107995846312,4.240816467289722,4.596199376947045,83.2855347871236,75.9158878504673,6.9985462097611615,24.038421599169265,7.793537801064563,1.2676820353063345,410,13,82,6,9,141,76,107,0.077,0.888,0.035,-0.5118,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,1,0,15,20,9,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,10,1,0,2,0,1,4,4,2,0,0,5,1,15,1,16,15,0,16,0,2,1,0,7,5,0,0,6,55,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20785849340009696,0.188555255006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446506113454585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984876155876954,0.0,0.0,0.12966650532915644,0.0,0.1810011903511092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298647652862356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192954540420488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223747161050886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176562113552901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052477428567056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088842714921537,0.0,0.0,0.2345143644553908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338005422766437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311108637347207,0.0,0.15024390079001088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23219892235703474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772233370902355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177611852194634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626795998681596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950293641350855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802291371523154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011155422851908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096885199993894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062374160815608,0.0,0.0,0.1971850060995939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Orangedoge1515,2018/04/16,"Not sure if this is the place for advice. Hi, I don’t know if this is the place for asking these questions. Sorry if it’s not. 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve never been formally diagnosed with any mental illness but I would greatly appreciate some advice from you guys.

Whenever I try to talk to my friends I feel this block inside my mouth, like I can’t say anything. It’s weird because it’s not like that with strangers, I have a retail job and I’m able to communicate with customers perfectly fine. It’s just when I’m with my friends or fellow students (I’m in secondary school) I feel like they are all in a joke that I don’t know about, you know what I mean? I feel like I don’t know how to communicate with them and they all seem to get it.

I also always feel like people are looking at me all the time, and they are all laughing behind my back. I feel like none of them are really my friends and just talk to me because I hang around with them. It doesn’t help that the only jokes I can make are self-deprecating do people seem to think it’s fine to insult my constantly. I don’t think I know one person who doesn’t make fun of me all the time, they tell me that my voice is annoying and that I’m a fat piece of shit and that they honestly don’t care about my opinions. (Sorry a bit out of context I’ll get back to it)

This may sound conceited and an excuse, but I’m often mean to people, like my brothers. I act all stoic and indifferent towards them all the time. I know they resent me for it but the only reason that I do it is because I don’t know how to communicate with them. It seems like everyone has this hidden code of how to act around others and when to shut up and what to say all the time. They get along so well and I don’t know why I can’t just get along with them.

I’m sorry if I’m rambling I’ll finish soon I promise.

Some days I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter to anyone. No one respects my opinion, it feels like I got more respect as a 12 year old than I do at 16. I don’t know how other teenagers do it, talk to each other and like each other.

Btw I live in Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 

I’m sorry if this has nothing to do with mental health. I rambled on a lot and I don’t think I got all my points across lol. 

It would be great to get some feedback so I can see if this is just teenage angst and me just getting fucked over by puberty. Or maybe I’m just being over dramatic. Who knows",2.3647628205128237,3.3624543096153867,3.815384615384616,91.45628205128206,75.13461538461539,6.717948717948719,22.948717948717945,7.010146845296331,0.5169102564102568,1891,50,438,18,39,626,205,520,0.075,0.718,0.207,0.9975,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,13,1,24,37,5,0,15,1,41,7,3,7,12,110,91,35,0,8,20,1,7,11,4,3,4,4,0,2,38,31,1,1,28,2,1,3,21,7,1,2,3,13,68,30,59,83,19,36,0,0,2,1,36,18,2,21,26,291,106,4,0.06503443368863601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710179184056986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052008013124508486,0.05411385862880536,0.0,0.0,0.044225645034029336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045473588160994984,0.0,0.05351779763287598,0.11578886816702805,0.06079841649564788,0.0,0.0,0.10001493034108493,0.0,0.11893316144640804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100075781734029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630693946336133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027911891157519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194182956470795,0.0,0.0,0.06600858122989099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214318837891989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301835461734649,0.2787636745299351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073632642885673,0.060123285994240924,0.2038668444302956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402795525876683,0.14340138546688178,0.0,0.06439431405084882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691285618637973,0.0,0.0,0.04359121003446592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453664045823093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931534635369019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494979321254835,0.0,0.057426596433124324,0.0,0.05461254495778782,0.0,0.0,0.05528994986872142,0.0,0.0,0.08682197897563675,0.0,0.06533582986224303,0.1416831275689295,0.0,0.0,0.1310788257921922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015856450633912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624022931126223,0.0,0.06824269818694909,0.0,0.08813803074358527,0.09892323476805394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526006316251155,0.0567855590018711,0.13589428266201542,0.0,0.06147856082242505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285344956062388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041662723522788936,0.0668662293015533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343598392047597,0.0,0.06581831891560785,0.05182402361332871,0.17761471772287427,0.06784509782021075,0.0,0.06675691161146054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912028962676799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061294184100630936,0.0,0.0,0.15681664301508375,0.056842961552565886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501431739701932,0.0,0.0,0.15168840510762194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415411150223876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058473766207586236,0.0,0.058683460944920725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239719152669723,0.07110494396208619,0.0,0.04188004305781731
mentalhealth,MadDany94,2018/04/16,"Whenever I try to think about my mental issues, I ""twitch"" a little... I guess I just hate it so much that talking/thinking about it, even if it's to myself, makes me physically twitch in disgust? 

Sigh... don't really know what to do with myself. I guess I'm just not that comfortable talking about it, even to myself apparently. ",5.5092857142857135,6.120035444444448,6.473134920634923,76.70589285714287,67.57142857142857,9.474603174603176,28.448412698412696,9.516144504307137,2.449669841269841,255,8,48,5,4,85,41,63,0.171,0.8290000000000001,0.0,-0.8834,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,10,9,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,10,1,9,9,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,37,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395947756580226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5664001112604461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538109931383113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26832231454231353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128317371514482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576593792921659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716013524376825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590738433662684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18898167981958905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469054926181834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662930703047647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32945000321361895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453887457678366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsychyHex,2018/04/16,"My brother makes me feel bad for not having a job Apparently the severe mental health struggles I'm dealing with aren't good enough reasons to not have a real job because people that deal with worse than me work. Is that supposed to encourage me? Because I'm telling you, it had the hard opposite effect. I deal with autism, borderline personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, severe depression, social anxiety, general anxiety, and very possible others we haven't discovered yet. I completely understand that people with horrible mental issues still push themselves to work and I think that's awesome! But it isn't for me and I can barely deal with leaving my room without a breakdown, let alone get ready, leave the house and go do a job where I'm being counted on to do things the right way in a timely manner. It's completely out of the question right now. It's so impossible for me to even get myself to go to counseling. I just feel like such a failure. My sister doesn't work but she has three little kids she takes care of full time while being depressed and sick almost 24/7 going in and out of the hospital for her constantly sick children, and yet she manages to run marathons and train for them. My brother works at an art gallery and travels the country and sells his paintings pretty frequently and he just loves life so much. And here I am. Having a mental breakdown when I hear sounds that I don't like, when people look at me the wrong way, when I can't find something I swore I saw just an hour ago, when people act stupid, etc. I make digital art on my own terms and upload it to shop sites and I make $50 a month but that's it. I can't do anything more. I tried making tshirts for people and selling them to them and that even put a huge amount of stress on me. Even though it was all on my time. How am I expected to go make a living when it's already hard to live",5.185471698113204,6.168610318059303,5.6234760107816735,81.17671266846362,68.46091644204851,8.631417789757412,30.20388140161725,8.841846274778883,2.3644151159029647,1512,57,288,25,25,485,197,371,0.14300000000000002,0.78,0.077,-0.9588,4,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,1,1,3,5,23,13,1,2,20,0,23,5,0,8,1,52,47,29,0,1,9,3,4,2,0,0,4,2,1,4,17,24,0,0,8,5,3,9,10,7,0,1,3,8,40,6,39,41,9,48,0,2,2,1,28,18,0,2,21,191,57,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881949641317298,0.0,0.077741088923889,0.08040732646399153,0.08567309059854879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878242492845402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388768923802995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648226915850155,0.09465218668262096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915492285052099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279942249528445,0.08389677280342868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201566079373748,0.13373528704165075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795481944896094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021858603306377,0.08658449444156585,0.15383323942792562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851003653304413,0.0554630664842587,0.0,0.0,0.0709577600649671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112305425475583,0.0,0.17648896984228454,0.06511726725725771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909294405757452,0.0,0.0,0.08252327773505345,0.08750124492871654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645567332932679,0.08958134687819956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103165658121389,0.23112480403317884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644103100416104,0.0,0.07938791623099206,0.05483649655476455,0.07585790917677658,0.07781151699345171,0.13710775514661425,0.0,0.06519456059637538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006938539222947,0.0,0.2591126623836823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23471602882495374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196819448122205,0.0,0.05707128236949883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691146143233168,0.13557725867593393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752275545108654,0.0,0.07898356966006999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804547203837002,0.08696991937852849,0.0,0.0,0.08836659352343404,0.0,0.07982258364668288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260118276882887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541282381976758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913997177929423,0.0,0.05976786998552917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620000897965971,0.0,0.08893160344093333,0.08116184657788304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058372497017072575,0.0,0.06785715451057245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051577808778671005,0.049745917641292436,0.07627682807752471,0.0,0.13581026474137295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270964574415657,0.0,0.0,0.08082165743459939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640577066242931,0.0,0.12324744756147035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483818859645193,0.0,0.2260792926611388,0.0,0.0791175633837544,0.0,0.08488261408475259,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GenericThrowaway123,2018/04/16,"Wife is addicted to mobile games and I don't know what to do Sorry for the long post.

My wife and me have been together for five years now and I love her dearly. We are from two different countries, met in the US and three years ago she moved back to my home country with me.

People always commented on how lucky I am to have a (then) girlfriend ""who is also a games"" and so on. Over time though, I realized she is gaming more and more, to a point where it is getting hard to talk to her because she is never really ""there"", but always has one eye on the phone screen. On the weekends, she is usually gaming on her phone 10 hours a day, unless there are commitments she cannot escape. 


A big issue is that she has a hard time adjusting to life in this country, since she is from a very different background and could not make friends here so far. Consequently, she is feeling a bit isolated - which leads to even more game time, because the community in this game is ""her kind"", from her home country.


Last week I saw her credit card statement and was horrified: She has spent around $1200 a month for the past six months on this game!


I have tried talking to her about it, how shocked I am, how out of character this seems to me - she is usually a very smart and thoughtful person. And that I would do anything she needs to help her break this habit. She maintained that she knows what she is doing, she is not spending money on much else (Clothing, drinking... which is true) and this is her one hobby. I told her I disagree that this is ""just a hobby"", given the amount of money spent and how those games are designed to get you addicted but the discussion more or less stalled at this point. No admission from her that she might have a problem.

What I didn't tell her is that I believe that I fear that this gaming is not good for her mental health either. Always being ""on"" 7 days a week night and day, prioritizing gaming over going out, making contacts, doing housework... When I tried to bring this up in the past she got defensive immediately. 


My feeling on this is of course that the gaming is a symptom. The root cause is that she is just not completely happy with where we are living now. I asked her if she preferred to move to a different country and that I would fully support it - even if she wanted to go to her home country for a couple of weeks or even months to figure things out. But she says despite everything, she would prefer to stay here (We're in a European country with very good working conditions). 


I am trying very hard to make her happy here as much as possible, proposing things to do together, going on trips, making her feel loved... I cannot cure her homesickness, but I am trying hard to support her where I can.


How can I help her free herself of this addiction? 



",6.501373626373629,6.082156316849817,6.506534798534801,80.8301318681319,65.5018315018315,9.551062271062275,31.02051282051282,8.936278230431713,2.3242671062271065,2183,70,435,31,30,694,239,546,0.096,0.8220000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.7754,3,0,1,0,0,0,75.0,3,1,0,2,28,21,1,1,28,0,56,10,1,12,3,77,87,36,0,11,16,2,7,0,2,4,6,1,4,1,35,23,1,1,13,13,7,8,10,5,0,6,11,11,74,17,67,70,10,71,0,1,3,2,80,30,0,7,30,329,109,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324911184793561,0.0,0.0,0.06301573223433732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568495075057484,0.17745416681762638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849983984078722,0.06328390313801074,0.0664582210943598,0.0,0.0,0.05466272591014448,0.0,0.08666987063632238,0.0,0.0,0.08009248004497828,0.0,0.0,0.0776103117953683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730275484682889,0.0,0.0,0.07453501805851563,0.0,0.0,0.05675844236973015,0.07865815578167495,0.0,0.13753874901558558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228172903958312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963973950510388,0.0,0.0,0.059385382277012864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085999941544647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388982712457222,0.0,0.0,0.0799944103401751,0.10783355802631296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492285647207957,0.0,0.07428169241835374,0.0,0.121203825720308,0.11925144737123315,0.05685602725423106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135021931431755,0.2547255988563157,0.0,0.0,0.0755638306568105,0.0,0.0,0.09529834628007414,0.0,0.2139229099031726,0.0,0.07000792637876105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419800259754797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402781114772583,0.07813684305896977,0.05794667644796076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021196265107751,0.0,0.0,0.06277251386509948,0.06291115158445328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832042830398094,0.0,0.1898087025021699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164056308859752,0.07541374372471908,0.0,0.0,0.17022666630817854,0.15111180923170478,0.10451656392470196,0.052711277381616115,0.05482789128194828,0.0,0.0,0.06671181168588852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634291600995837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572417678627174,0.04928386681219312,0.06207180141580342,0.0,0.0,0.13440336190309296,0.08014168672209802,0.06808320386765022,0.0,0.0,0.06802216526827654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554116128121352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565324878896452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647163685087316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880520360271455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957783927177084,0.0,0.07577096199670083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134094426864762,0.0,0.07388824844468693,0.0,0.11427660711654385,0.06213454764548078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445618049040097,0.0,0.06984416370849562,0.05643638764269063,0.1243569587640672,0.0,0.0,0.06792817956188611,0.0,0.1930579033847601,0.0,0.06944320791013503,0.0,0.08551080246139676,0.0,0.15658804343255905,0.2346220765085124,0.04192988320081323,0.0,0.17106889988812332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175332904403426,0.0,0.0,0.15149785151276207,0.0,0.0,0.09155742275547474
mentalhealth,SirGhostt,2018/04/16,"A set of difficult problems Hey guys, i [17M] have been going to therapy for a few weeks now after suffering from depression and anxiety after starting college in the uk around a year and a half ago possibly caused by a physically and emotionally abusive relationship i was trapped in for a year. Im feeling really lost at the moment. I feel exhausted so often, just struggling to do even daily things and recently a more unusual thing got alot worse. I cant stand shoes or socks, im not sure why but its been that way since i was little but i thought it was just a preference however now i know its not. My therapist thinks its some sort of disorder. I dread having to wear them again and it terrifies me to have to. its almost like a compulsion that gets stronger and stronger over time and the only way to cope is to take them off but because of how people react and what they might think i get so anxious and end up having a panic attack and its just awful. im so stuck in this sandwich between the depression, anxiety and also struggling to even wear shoes. I feel so trapped and its hard to find people that understand. ",5.609688311688314,6.263398618181821,6.414935064935065,77.05954545454549,67.36363636363636,10.285714285714286,32.532467532467535,10.290406445055957,3.356792207792207,896,37,169,22,14,296,133,220,0.292,0.665,0.043,-0.9956,1,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,3,1,16,14,1,4,15,1,13,6,4,3,1,43,29,22,0,2,9,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,15,13,1,0,10,0,0,1,3,12,0,1,9,4,15,2,27,19,4,28,0,4,0,0,6,9,0,7,15,122,30,1,0.0,0.1408321321437209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536406504659236,0.0,0.1190232067522318,0.0,0.0,0.09505396500714652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185833664656093,0.13428032129144366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581245429061756,0.0,0.13522277914994071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245722269279005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221041015343981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047514762137086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622624509779116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370384522319692,0.10527652559727044,0.0,0.0,0.15701456990327964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030072204570666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086377906946527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420106526150396,0.0,0.06755206107156685,0.0,0.09506486620878077,0.0,0.0,0.11769214985765587,0.0,0.0,0.10647707967243332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851743401396514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532349242555181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058070009905437724,0.11913103357586853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297520048337913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609388667689908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039997041922378,0.0,0.13945904439186516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480800474513813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399913947408826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373496096632499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614609414816069,0.0,0.1173619675509386,0.12761339448514694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832394352625394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841311942827242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24852091421281425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202610675964043,0.0,0.0893694940124786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592915109505407,0.138008039912394,0.15793337302236835,0.15232404697330168,0.0,0.09436321705294692,0.06930943658898922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373962052826815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188694378170538,0.09534399350854827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725454229144732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113061747278556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530865690940843
mentalhealth,muddyknee,2018/04/16,Books or apps to get started with mindfulness or meditation ? I suffer from anxiety and depression and I have been advised over and over again to try out mindfulness and meditation so I was wondering if any of you guys had any experience with this and had any resources (such as books or apps or whatnot) to recommend ?,9.025632183908042,8.621265241379312,9.039655172413793,64.6875287356322,60.3793103448276,13.940229885057473,41.74712643678161,13.023866798666859,5.786498850574713,256,13,44,9,3,84,38,58,0.14800000000000002,0.813,0.04,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,16,8,12,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,4,0,11,4,0,5,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,6,2,34,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5468954506138237,0.0,0.20507471856159856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308904399648383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26222633104778204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400568100051152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654339081070077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5413535853369511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897430858318268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200362171382312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907131765950313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weallfloatdownhere11,2018/04/16,"26 and unsure if depressed Hi I’m female and 26 years old this year. I will try to keep this short.  
  
I was diagnosed with depression 5 years ago after 2 suicide attempts. I am not under any treatment. I honestly do not believe I am depressed because I don’t have anything to be depressed about. Also the doctor who diagnosed me only did so after I told him that I thought I was depressed. The mental health system here is terrible. FYI I am in a developed country in SEA.   
   
I am writing here now because I am in need of help. I’ve basically been surviving moods of ups and downs ever since I got diagnosed. I noticed a pattern of myself that I’ve been switching jobs every couple of years. I get excited and then I get bored. It’s not that the job isn’t challenging. I just get stagnant and unwilling to improve or challenge myself. Which I would seek for a different environment to “motivate myself”.  
   
In the past, I had reasons for not liking my job. “It’s not my dream job”, “I want something more”. But, this time, I got my dream job. And it’s been a year here. My boss says I’ve been stagnant, he advises me to try harder and also opened up ideas for my to broaden my responsibilities. I had yet to try either. I am at risk of losing my job. And honestly I am fine with that.   
I am at the stage where I’m bored and want a change of environment. But I’m sick of doing this over and over again. I feel like I will never be happy or satisfied.    
   
This has made me feel like I am good in nothing. I have various talents but I basically am only at subpar for all of them. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what career change I’ll have this time.   
   
   
I would like to know if these are signs of depression, or that I just haven’t found a career that I am passionate for. I thought I was passionate for so many things. But I’ve lost them all. 
   
I also have an SO whom I love very much and he is very supportive of me. He has mentioned that he notices some depressive symptoms the last couple of weeks. But every time he tries to talk to me about it, I shut down. I can’t seem to open up to him about this. ",1.3027359149256128,3.3545413510392628,3.407417154519578,88.56845856383266,81.21709006928407,6.52213330468876,23.2337397282346,7.65591337171366,1.102083130135883,1627,57,347,27,43,553,189,433,0.108,0.7709999999999999,0.122,0.7757,7,0,1,0,0,1,44.0,0,0,2,7,19,31,0,1,13,0,45,10,0,4,4,60,71,28,1,7,18,0,2,4,0,4,7,1,0,0,25,15,0,1,12,2,0,0,12,13,0,0,18,3,60,17,53,47,7,44,0,9,0,3,20,21,0,7,25,247,85,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492411166269806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571344372610928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980668633590322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027145919608407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929459611861895,0.0,0.0,0.08251801468315142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549594503513836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208050618726788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415791754639456,0.2230155398478968,0.0,0.07652170936321682,0.0,0.07496571069271674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625106975212604,0.12341813320207405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406613887308522,0.10464738945373624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030545145489376,0.0,0.0,0.11479687822548645,0.0,0.0,0.061431439503685716,0.1171557302047724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796686787987718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785221888686925,0.0,0.0,0.04909218901202112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268066344379181,0.0,0.0,0.4360849284621339,0.06510035133556355,0.0,0.0,0.12075472926823355,0.059701543706567425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431282593619542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193842965358246,0.07995167656603669,0.0,0.0661032532704054,0.0693028152816582,0.0,0.07425531787164535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381013839918896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538408808899896,0.054307594901558835,0.05648830870650143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027713077581996,0.1667717149618444,0.07685456392321185,0.0,0.0,0.11140682112458232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991723571687815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530439198172209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824452761524033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667625030270967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060586070647449676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638483376113981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011424068352377,0.08311351078576401,0.0,0.07612589305072091,0.0,0.05886868991126301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865835396933752,0.0,0.0,0.11629103410328373,0.12812300659790532,0.0,0.0,0.06998532840211273,0.0,0.19890450261067807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086370620218287,0.08639939019704428,0.0,0.05874986009868974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405722591830112,0.0,0.0,0.2358254092970076
mentalhealth,Blablablaxd17,2018/04/16,"How to deal with childhood sexual abuse I was never an easy child. I craved company and always had to be entertained by something. Thankfully my parents understood the need for me to be surrounded by a lot of friends and family constantly. For that I shall forever be grateful. I was extremely close to my neighbors. An amazing family with 7 kids and they treated me like one of their own. 6 girls and 1 boy. I was always over and I saw them as my own siblings. Pretty much saw them at least once a day, everyday. 

Things changed when I turned 6. I remember just everything being normal and we were all just innocently playing together at my house until they all left other than the youngest and the boy. We decided to play in the alleyway behind our houses when the youngest went back in to get some food. I was standing there with him, all alone. That's when everything went wrong.

It went from seeing this boy as an older brother to someone who was (looking back now) evidently taking advantage of my naiveness. I was always an innocent child and I had a lot of trust in him so when he told me to never say anything, I didn't. The abuse went on for 5 years and I kept my mouth shut. Some days it got a lot more serious than others. I told no one. A decision I will forever question myself over. I don't know why I didn't. I didn't want anyone knowing. I was ashamed. There is no way I'd want my parents knowing and I couldn't do that to their family. Part of me felt like he didn't really know what he was doing because he was still young himself (he started at 14) but I think now I still think like that because I'm simply in denial. 

I managed to just hide it all at the back of my mind. My family moved house few years after and I didn't see him as often. I would help the younger one out a lot with advice and school work and still today we remain close friends but she has no idea about what happened and I wouldn't want to crush her. Her family have been too good to me plus her parents have gone through so much health wise that it feels simply wrong to bring this all up now. Not to mention it would just cause way more problems.

I got into a relationship many years ago with the most amazing person and 8 years on he's still by my side. But I've noticed that there's a lot of things in my life right now that's just been out of control and frankly I don't know how to deal with it all. I'm a very anxious person and any little situation blows up in my mind. There are other big issues happening which I feel has brought all of this childhood stuff back to me as I felt that is as able to not think about it before but recently everything has felt to be my fault and I can't help but feel that that was too. I know it's probably irrational thinking but it's just constantly there.

It's affecting my relationship in many ways and I feel like it explains a lot of why my partner and I are not on the same page a lot of the time but nevertheless he supports me and understands. It doesn't stop me from feeling somewhat inadequate. He needs a lot of support right now as it's a crucial point in his life so I want to be able to be there for him properly instead of him having to constantly worry about me.

I just want this all to go away and I'm hoping that maybe some advice on how to do that will help me just shove it to the side. I've been to therapy but this is not something I've ever brought up and the first person I ever told was my partner.  I just don't think I'm ready to have a face to face conversation about it just yet. Any help on what I can do ?

I think right now just some advice on how to maybe deal with things until I can bring it up with my therapist. I won't be able to see one for a while. Just general coping strategies for dealing with difficult situations. It's not even just about this, there's a lot of other problems going on which if anything has affected way more but I'm hoping tackling the smaller things will help me rationalise the bigger issues",2.800492281866952,4.4038698239608856,4.029683246359888,87.91723807612307,75.08801955990221,7.42636937561581,25.167390431704558,8.161894600670417,1.410750516366822,3148,106,667,52,67,1030,304,818,0.071,0.8140000000000001,0.115,0.9825,3,1,2,0,2,0,53.0,4,0,6,4,58,29,0,1,35,0,63,7,3,8,12,155,132,54,0,17,28,4,8,4,5,8,3,1,1,12,50,41,1,3,28,3,0,12,23,8,0,5,41,15,92,21,111,74,35,108,0,0,6,0,68,43,0,20,52,487,142,3,0.1414136281052606,0.11170135011809412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818776072463376,0.04178488296841353,0.0,0.0,0.04882062353274927,0.0,0.0,0.11766746699313073,0.0,0.0,0.0641107442610085,0.0,0.0,0.05325238265667507,0.0,0.03295989893394167,0.0,0.07758091113908437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428758621895657,0.14498446809416005,0.0,0.057469623426083374,0.0,0.04011086063723854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048423583413585436,0.049865622585810586,0.0,0.0,0.15281789387002073,0.052869136188305264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080006084688672,0.19438832149993454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031134122553278007,0.08527781513613845,0.0,0.0,0.1270934505376297,0.0,0.2221869718117286,0.0,0.11917163229020596,0.03367530805805903,0.1357792595993239,0.0,0.0,0.04009545327504975,0.056999306810187625,0.0,0.07283721218830179,0.0,0.02462759468424704,0.0,0.05357908248703875,0.03953701397685031,0.07540093118436993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833677362052021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010535795883938,0.0,0.0,0.157977623412683,0.0,0.0,0.09363709384613897,0.0,0.16317234027632047,0.0,0.05321292440162216,0.0,0.0983993915519147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543446344155687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051215440235685715,0.0,0.06658975175238441,0.09211674081862144,0.04724453535152212,0.0,0.0,0.03958394389202841,0.0,0.0,0.3606744288476877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558081543476003,0.09471266447682143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519163459495793,0.0,0.0,0.050100102307875816,0.06930352527863963,0.06990427559631686,0.07271127191227825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046185110195652516,0.0,0.05366678429368514,0.0,0.05020029956351865,0.1277673789567809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702309883630206,0.051045726193512914,0.0,0.0,0.1234769254836015,0.0,0.0,0.0445605291611758,0.0,0.0,0.04795616630001723,0.05082260300108908,0.09020916251273037,0.0,0.0,0.05280520916901931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030197730422376064,0.0,0.04654296582891111,0.1012168760080752,0.05339802456799279,0.1207664657309558,0.0,0.03748593099890876,0.0,0.04770604711860305,0.11268835271574135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596989532604464,0.0,0.0,0.03993976939633962,0.07257807984013838,0.0,0.0,0.033364431274950944,0.0,0.15057747476838854,0.03940937505970057,0.0,0.0,0.053961590422140916,0.0,0.10698300623102593,0.0,0.0,0.03544181639733085,0.0,0.0,0.04339822307973203,0.053906269352753375,0.05473070722821384,0.12526524115462434,0.18122428571562746,0.0,0.0,0.027486474588816718,0.0,0.044681194794087324,0.13512678180247314,0.0,0.0,0.05127247314432403,0.0,0.049072191359010274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03889368440668668,0.13901570292874765,0.14966340763650127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478913335478785,0.08506920258813283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03431693516293725,0.047870801240584265,0.0,0.06697078936718237,0.10307573523323514,0.0,0.12142098676249095
mentalhealth,MyUserSucks,2018/04/16,"I have extreme anxiety about things like leaving appliances plugged in, if the doors locked properly, etc Any help for this? It's often so disruptive as I'm late for class thanks to going back and re-locking the door a few times over and over or going round the house checking all the appliances so my pets don't die in an electrical fire. Other stuff too like walking hundreds of yard backwards just so that I can tread on the paving slab I noticed in ""the correct way"". I want out of this, anyone had something aimilar.?",10.663599999999997,7.475884960000003,9.382,72.32600000000002,59.4,12.8,43.0,10.686352973137794,4.443499999999999,416,18,78,7,4,129,79,100,0.068,0.785,0.147,0.8082,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,0,2,10,9,8,1,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,7,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,5,3,14,8,3,15,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,3,5,52,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652662605674884,0.0,0.1873323371035761,0.0,0.0,0.17122561367545722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18829741083692908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541465170998328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731056502751132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783416083100841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413773337133253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825583512323009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762350221746436,0.25929229549379673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23927175122811026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787972163716735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852039390230999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28032872471644404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22545237150588704,0.0,0.0,0.16268722358563725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427913504430812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443642010071706,0.19437414590287555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ooker777,2018/04/16,"I made a prose comparing anger with turbulent flow. What do you think? 

[Turbulent flow](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Laminar-turbulent_transition.jpg):

*When a smoke begins to smoulder, it first maintains its stability. But with just a little turbulence, the smoke becomes an uncontrollable chaos. Swirling currents will be generated to radiate heat outwardly, which rolls together and causes more and more energy to be lost. And after the energy is completely depleted, it will dissolve into the surroundings and leave not even a single mark behind.*

 


 

What do you think about it? Do you feel it nebulous without knowing what I'm talking about, or resonating with your experiences?",9.773761467889903,13.635144587155967,8.580266055045872,52.960490825688076,61.84403669724772,13.167339449541284,40.257798165137615,11.979248473330829,6.915736880733945,596,32,70,24,10,184,78,109,0.125,0.8270000000000001,0.048,-0.8237,1,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,4,0,2,5,3,1,1,8,0,8,0,0,2,0,19,16,7,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,1,5,0,12,10,3,10,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,5,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5083046384347029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590598773198177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24096404429009335,0.0,0.0,0.2459381393641337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492872598430008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294506987213327,0.0,0.0,0.11860369042099225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995218424105694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891141840620265,0.0,0.0,0.2483716780081651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350968992045963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560566553179234,0.0,0.0,0.22195215719435574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853538148353569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006010276483696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261133924762742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fudeckup,2018/04/16,"hello and advice? I assume this is the right place to post about mental health. I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for a long time. I already have been told by some hospital counselor woman that i have PTSD,Panic Disorder,OCD,Depression,GAD, (not even sure if these are actual full diagnoses or just assumptions written on paper what they think i have) and they think i probably have adhd and ive experienced psychosis. I have paranoid beliefs that have controlled my life for 10+ years and I went through some traumatic stuff with my mom and i wake up often thinking bad thoughts with pain in my stomach and touching the wall makes it go away (OCD). I also cant work because anyone who insults me or thinks im stupid or anything makes me feel so much instant terror i have a fear like something so bad is happening and i have a hardcore urge to cry (i never ever ever cry besides these situations, ever) and literally feel like im going to poop in my pants (dead serious). Ive had 6 years of counseling and meds (anxiety and depression meds) that did absolutely NOTHING. I want to get diagnosed for adhd but every place that does the tests says they aren't taking any more appointments. I've had seriously bad anger issues for as long as i can remember and for 10 years my mind has felt very weird like something i cant even explain. The only feeling i can explain is like a hurricane in my head of 100000 thoughts at once to where i cant even process one thought. Also a feeling where whenever I'm trying to focus on something, there's something more important, something i cant seem to figure out or find. My grades were Ds from 6th grade to my third try at 10th grade and then I dropped out. I think i could speak all day but i just wanted to write down all the mental issues i have that i can think of, im sure theres more, just wondering if anyone can offer me advice for any of this. Also i stayed in a mental hospital type thing for ""help"", it was horrible. One more thing, insanely rarely i have this really deep clarity, when being partially awake where i can think normal (its only happened a handful of times in my entire life).",4.477545184168385,5.856072912529553,5.2975703500343165,81.38516129032259,70.46572104018912,8.389506596507282,28.538778311599174,8.841846274778883,2.2515773507206585,1714,63,324,31,31,558,222,423,0.116,0.8240000000000001,0.06,-0.9646,0,0,5,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,3,2,22,20,3,2,12,0,37,11,5,3,8,75,70,29,1,6,12,1,7,4,0,0,6,2,0,1,19,18,0,1,25,0,0,3,7,14,0,3,14,10,45,6,46,54,10,44,1,1,0,0,16,24,0,12,18,214,64,7,0.0,0.0,0.06890289916724092,0.0,0.16971339275008834,0.13799399293122308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791731794919866,0.16939478094390506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603127162612728,0.0,0.05401467313287252,0.0,0.0,0.09874104703601408,0.0,0.05810409500370585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633822880831501,0.0,0.17686336171365058,0.043041779354587736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919250410302431,0.056374477890686565,0.0,0.15511841671031984,0.045536104949131635,0.0,0.06081428140768017,0.14333059447443908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178924651194845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399070973618398,0.19160603554251326,0.05949000598627657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945325715114669,0.14280543484565322,0.050442132477064285,0.06779443451107224,0.0,0.06453412983374555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03688959256178026,0.0,0.08025593031402065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487625611993093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246383818320327,0.07505264984103542,0.0,0.0,0.047326831842818363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288051949166067,0.14739212290995996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974456874210401,0.13798136117172954,0.0,0.0,0.12497112943912712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426233398870626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685840466503853,0.0,0.2134677682100217,0.0,0.07129361719080174,0.08269484796794081,0.0,0.0,0.05190476056233299,0.0,0.05445698676388562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918052369232562,0.06774996221514093,0.0,0.0,0.0751948625564339,0.09569116701878043,0.10740062717950866,0.07513153748373193,0.08284288570052536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753997099095273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762262865076228,0.0,0.07612700881578632,0.0,0.08253658599647944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045233080447132916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998472425637176,0.060298563096389875,0.0,0.05615005196724642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642785695543808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936597772767448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717861639094253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525837996070736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082888768393354,0.0,0.0,0.13309378388806875,0.0,0.05308817947143064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381719505281284,0.3166978006881689,0.0,0.16816380548296245,0.0823437986162534,0.0,0.0,0.06746865306699118,0.0,0.14381391628610074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825872113718378,0.08329246451357658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545401607783867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657100455550787,0.051403223593716935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719840131590662,0.0,0.13640707063191276
mentalhealth,ilovecats4ev,2018/04/16,"i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m just sad. for the past 2 hours i have been trying to write a post. i just can’t. i don’t know how to explain myself. i’m just sad.
i am only 21. i have a good life. good friends. a good family. no major traumas in my life. but i have been emotional as fuck since i was a little girl. i cry over everything. it’s tearing the first good relationship i ever had apart. he does everything he can for me yet i’m so sad and miserable. i read about other people who have depression though and i think i’m not as bad. i still go out with friends and do many things and enjoy life. i’m not suicidal. but when i’m down. i’m fucking down. one little thing happens and i freak out. i panic and i can’t control myself. i can’t hold back tears i can’t just take a deep breath. i freak the fuck out. i shake i hyperventilate. this effects my whole life. schools, work, and my relationship with my boyfriend. he doesn’t understand and it hurts him because he can’t do anything to make things better when i’m like that. i hate talking about this. i cry every time i try to explain because i just don’t understand why i’m like this. there was one time ever i tried talking to a therapist at school about it and i started crying and having a break down and she looked at me like i was crazy. she just sat there and offered no words or comfort and made me feel 100 times worse and  i told myself that was the first and last time i will ever try to talk to a doctor about it again because of how much worse it made me feel about myself. i just want my emotions shut off. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. my boyfriend is my first love and i cling to him. i find so much comfort in him but somehow i’m still so emotional. and he gets the worst of it. i can’t control it. i just don’t understand. i don’t know what to do. ",-0.2997964135021114,1.8456717898734207,1.689754746835444,97.60492747890295,89.32911392405062,4.810654008438818,18.355748945147678,6.322622252153567,-0.2489820675105485,1427,40,338,15,48,471,161,395,0.219,0.643,0.139,-0.9903,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,8,32,33,4,3,13,0,32,10,1,8,3,67,71,31,1,1,14,0,2,3,2,1,5,0,0,1,20,24,0,3,14,1,0,2,17,19,0,5,11,3,59,14,36,59,5,42,0,6,1,4,25,17,3,2,24,221,79,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136196593118742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057337119796104126,0.06226000407978202,0.1363653387014521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594810629609846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726558561716753,0.0,0.0,0.2457237566699379,0.0,0.0,0.06422411128905306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632208423174545,0.06525374225582728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516321970668362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234930127419956,0.06282558433004108,0.0,0.13403132063394374,0.0,0.07029476294869873,0.0,0.07540623623195998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815252997236353,0.19027895922348592,0.0,0.0,0.11521995468211495,0.20680688612174827,0.038957975713191526,0.0,0.04237792242862224,0.25017173622196803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593900630546537,0.0,0.0,0.07361908906794266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343308981799093,0.0,0.07982509743231922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391943344816248,0.060781738816764935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21067440525779133,0.109288436333341,0.14947066365217712,0.0,0.0,0.06261717169498428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672992761287387,0.1411134572472664,0.0497737906978871,0.07559883809392548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963007509502322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105652846236517,0.056711266439627414,0.0,0.0874878496889535,0.0,0.0,0.07118226592298303,0.05169509804672103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141419955307389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458678803989888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011326513384475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509307789775923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168226972700978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052778629823943234,0.0,0.11909798094762546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156376787613487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606481023182485,0.17980144796211872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657758056763877,0.14861622557471468,0.047779272343811734,0.07326131499910296,0.0,0.17392155802488055,0.0,0.0,0.07125159062637097,0.0,0.20250333201737372,0.0,0.0,0.23287940990602576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04398131809367953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728476675980292,0.08325095630768531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428537962272186,0.0,0.15197949047193315,0.0,0.16305376311899086,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IanTheSilly,2018/04/16,"Anxiety I don’t know how to put this into words but I’ll try. 

I’ve had social anxiety for awhile now and that has lead to problems. One of which being that I’m overly sensitive and insecure when a friend says they don’t want to do something with me. I immediately jump to the conclusion that he is faking their friendship with me. I pretty much have a mental breakdown. I’ve tried talking to therapists about it but non of their advice has helped and I can’t handle it anymore. ",4.21808035714286,5.499945718750006,5.368988095238095,80.99625000000003,70.97916666666666,8.402380952380952,27.255952380952376,8.841846274778883,2.0646952380952377,383,13,74,7,7,127,67,96,0.14,0.7240000000000001,0.136,0.1406,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,2,4,4,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,2,0,15,13,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,1,1,9,1,13,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,52,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23662811630264566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704912100776751,0.0,0.2401497000499398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18708602223317086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230937059875852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308039764093052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24403224522023406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780095706793002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640884513700633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463556230413669,0.0,0.2317067454457428,0.0,0.2434296268492201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19256897702680914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468434528734738,0.0,0.1864204278372116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463259226698734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811571174048669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288106038629988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282751416487974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,novo341,2018/04/16,"Wife blocks me off everything and wants a divorce. I need help. I don’t know what to do. My wife has blocked me off everything, can only communicate and she’s always angry. Just a month ago she was loving and caring. I don’t know, we’ve barely had any communication and she wants a divorce. I’m overseas and can even see her in person. She says she needs space but still wants a divorce. Any advice will be great, thank you. ",1.7443398692810457,4.1016061529411765,3.0862745098039213,89.75712418300655,81.58823529411767,5.660130718954249,20.03267973856209,6.937597516519254,0.3335228758169935,333,9,69,4,9,108,57,85,0.06,0.7609999999999999,0.179,0.9032,0,0,0,0,3,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,0,0,16,22,6,0,5,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,13,4,4,18,0,7,0,0,1,1,16,4,0,0,3,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492848653340415,0.1858973497028225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449747936195512,0.0,0.0,0.2852231859691007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138157228803356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13851303286770944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37695188532484336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312086121286395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405657712477894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23050485210251906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892735884249776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739040127185853,0.0,0.0,0.3109981084803883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949569624820353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831127397134356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667716822159762,0.0,0.0,0.16711359566783018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747655788306884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307496106744168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710813419446121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mvln,2018/04/16,"I'm convinced I'm a piece of shit. Preface: I've been off meds for about a week. I know my psychiatrist is supposed to make that call, but I decided to do it anyway. I wanted to see if I could do it again on my own. 

My friends and roommates have been acting distant. In my mind, I may or may not have sleighted them in some way (be it minor or major) that has changed their perspective of me and they have decided to give me the cold shoulder. It also doesn't help that I have been drinking heavily and coming home trashed almost every night this last week, but I haven't been nearly as bad as I was when I was younger. I don't know what has triggered the binge, it just sort of happened. I haven't been stressed from work and I haven't had any real stressors in life lately. I've reached out to a few friends to see if they'd like to have dinner, but everyone has been busy. Granted, my friends have their own families and full time jobs, but so do I (minus the kids) and lately, I've been working late as well. But I'm the one who has been initiating. 

My roommates have a bit more of a bone to pick though. I came home wasted one night and threw up all over the house. I cleaned it up, and cleaned the house as much as I could throughout the week. I even cooked dinner for the house as penance for it. I've got nothing but brief conversations and terse replies when asking about their days. 

I want to believe that we've all just had long weeks, but this is out of character for our dynamic and I'm starting to worry that it's me. I've even gotten to the point where I've self-harmed for the first time in months because I feel like it's all my fault. I also left blood on the floor, not realizing how deep I had cut. 

I don't know where I'm going with this and I don't know if this even is coherent. I'm not suicidal. I just... I don't know. I'll probably delete this post in the morning. 

Maybe I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance that I'm not a complete waste of space. Or I just needed to get this off my chest. I don't know. 
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mentalhealth,yyz89,2018/04/16,"How do I get a concrete diagnosis? I have been struggling with some serious demons for several years now, but am at the point where I can no longer cope- they are getting in the way of me living my fullest life. I know, beyond a doubt, that I have at the very least some sort of a learning disability as it has always been impossible for me to concentrate on things or follow through with more complex thoughts as far back as I can remember. I am a bright and intelligent person, but never did well academically because the concentration simply wasn't there, so I dropped out of college and am a nobody now. I have so many interests I want to go deeper with, but can't because my attention span is virtually non-existent. It is incredibly frustrating. I could read a paragraph of something and not know what it's about. I just feel very developmentally behind and would like to for once and for all get a concrete diagnosis as to what's wrong with me and subsequently get help so that I can get on my way already at the age of 28. I've seen a therapist for about two years for my depression and anxiety, but haven't seen anyone about this other problem. Who do I turn to? ",8.20745215311005,6.83270873245614,8.589250398724086,70.39944976076558,62.55263157894736,12.150558213716106,37.83253588516746,11.20814326018867,4.080336842105264,933,39,181,22,11,311,133,228,0.132,0.785,0.083,-0.8849,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,15,11,1,2,13,0,23,1,0,1,2,38,38,20,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,12,0,0,8,1,0,2,6,7,1,1,7,4,22,4,37,29,5,24,1,1,3,0,4,12,0,5,8,138,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046363765307654,0.0,0.12853303661824209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181706186919136,0.0,0.0,0.10801037886344238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877939431451515,0.0,0.18832933352833853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333328231735162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304646390382638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781056591176911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035260905490145,0.0,0.08778996880693117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353929173720028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978748750014955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910810633267737,0.07546719193091107,0.0,0.1364015616190172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661031163772715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191382904818383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450758498322599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487894819405116,0.0,0.0,0.1460259221880595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478087939450581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451375197688735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498660647314568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450933443868494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892005367531368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614876212548027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793538394954225,0.1026242994756159,0.0,0.0,0.1226334733565478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802112350779072,0.15089664917885146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549110721838613,0.0911115581476459,0.2452252871468245,0.0,0.0,0.13888883409185435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973244103130672,0.1688908275550677,0.0,0.19894974205585766
mentalhealth,ooohweeemama,2018/04/16,"I [15F] just recently told my parents about my depression and terrible mental health They found some stuff in my room from a while ago when I really wanted to die. They made me show them my scars and tell them everything. My mom was fairly supportive but she honestly doesn't understand. On the other hand, my dad claims he will support me but says stuff like ""what made you depressed"", "" you have a good life why are you depressed"" and many things along those lines. 

They scheduled an appointment with my doctor to see if i should go into therapy. I honestly want to get better but I don't want therapy. I just want antidepressants and anxiety medication. Every time I open up to people about my mental health they make it a lot worse. 

Do any of you have any advice on what I should do?",4.3508,6.213995746666669,4.8610000000000015,82.47550000000003,71.53333333333333,9.0,25.166666666666664,9.516144504307137,2.198666666666667,622,19,119,15,12,198,99,150,0.103,0.7040000000000001,0.192,0.9339,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,6,1,5,11,0,0,5,0,11,6,1,3,0,27,26,10,1,7,6,3,1,1,0,3,5,1,1,0,8,8,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,3,29,7,15,18,2,14,0,3,1,0,18,7,0,3,7,82,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200894786150246,0.10893710376418507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671427153509097,0.0,0.09401270006471353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868874619658196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175423157833672,0.0,0.1275433844151943,0.0,0.0,0.12578604766925794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354253326457936,0.0,0.11044817667218784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474567574249566,0.0,0.0,0.0642064461352726,0.0,0.06984284331839041,0.10307669875198662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612587228366701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680286004108731,0.06003924290372203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447911325615557,0.0,0.2325683874955744,0.0820319370523683,0.12459406930435644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380162553917948,0.2476941924878441,0.0,0.0,0.14393063010457696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645797551740424,0.0,0.0,0.08519843414427028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872831174259885,0.0,0.12134187145695186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772933330965963,0.0,0.0,0.0979296969040978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813658413039423,0.0,0.2789147180238284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741377469082457,0.0,0.28107738688463596,0.0,0.08164455422803528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165981382925123,0.0,0.0,0.11742939236074088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793579931894242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899415669776632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089168966304468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523832142218033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ianjames92,2018/04/16,"The way my brain works, and what to do about it Being male and having had a hard life (with bullying in the earlier years and grief and helplessness in the last 5 years) my responses seem to be like this:

Depression/sadness -> frustration/anger -> response...

I'm currently trying to assess whether or not my medication works in the ways it should, and if I need something stronger. I take Mirtazapine 15mg, though I was on 45 a few years ago. When I don't take my meds, I can launch into fits of fury. Could it be that:

Antidepressant -> tones down sadness -> I get less pissed off -> calmer response?

So, I still feel it, but I don't go quite as far into the spiral where I smash things up when things go wrong? I think I started calming down even after the first pill (having recently re-started my medication again).

Random post I know.",5.983353658536582,6.3805833109756085,5.915756097560978,81.8597317073171,66.5,9.486829268292682,29.81463414634146,9.3871,2.3509824390243903,669,22,134,12,10,210,109,164,0.121,0.823,0.056,-0.8486,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,4,9,7,1,0,8,0,13,6,2,1,0,22,25,14,1,4,5,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,2,2,17,2,18,18,2,32,0,3,0,0,1,13,1,4,15,86,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668978307204128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847326083024684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212388880543532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929928143944012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367265693770641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407588803715997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645750006166683,0.0,0.1880944358074177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823934243982406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094456377679623,0.13488989330929918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688481031240774,0.08084613242905098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381316503141748,0.33341135328179844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270278500939448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848598519899745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760104462064824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339348290465294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064857173211188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273961063332782,0.0,0.0,0.23425798223459304,0.0,0.13215411615492506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488436960770537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198777374263452,0.10603416543053974,0.16258519674337166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235139608685757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627037727569637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409456921802979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809285579761491,0.0,0.31969489220623826
mentalhealth,Trimbiner,2018/04/16,"Do I Have OCD? 'Murican here.

Hi. I'm 19, clinically diagnosed with ADHD when I was young. My brother has OCD.

Ever since I was little I've had these compulsions that have been rituals. I do something once, and then my brain latches onto it and it becomes a ritual. And its really hard to control because I feel like I need to do it, and when I deny myself the right to do it it gets stuck in my head that I need to. Then, the body parts involved in the ritual kinda feel weird, like they're primed to do whatever action - which makes me wanna do the ritual more.

When I was younger it would be quiet shouting things like ""Ahh"" ""Uhh"", and I'd just feel like I had to. A lot of the times I would compulsively slam doors hard, and then once they're shut, yank on the handle hard to make sure they were shut. More recently, germs and ""prayer rituals"" have been taken up. One known trigger is video games, which I love.

With enough effort, I'm able to combat these rituals and deny myself from doing them. If I do this enough, they go away, but it takes so much effort to fight myself mentally. Once I do make them go away, they're gone for a few monthes, and eventually, I pick something new up.

OCD or nah?",3.068080366892336,4.532072593361001,4.290452063769384,86.89413627429572,74.10373443983403,7.563310766542914,22.64271675038217,8.20500826718156,1.0959244813278013,929,24,195,15,19,305,133,241,0.083,0.868,0.049,-0.5804,0,0,2,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,4,3,7,8,1,0,9,0,25,6,3,6,2,34,43,19,0,6,4,1,6,4,0,2,2,2,1,0,16,11,0,1,4,2,0,4,0,2,0,1,11,8,26,6,23,29,8,28,6,0,0,1,10,12,0,4,16,130,42,0,0.12076749251836168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513905732650667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22693006928750897,0.0,0.0,0.07361874251585379,0.1333782072665234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414545910556344,0.0,0.1348164618582529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354510119276662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257646277039065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495702059142521,0.0,0.0,0.10924111105228816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319101862327108,0.17255264157120714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309603034640777,0.0,0.13726989817228435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32455185643038403,0.0,0.12394228874627415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360035865711918,0.12104075426206055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267220345270987,0.1089973770755325,0.0,0.2418397170928639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170522764112515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963954603390704,0.0,0.08877800268678121,0.1790951309260478,0.0,0.11663799682411233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858403143224429,0.08183517841771425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307794256911527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736674813564465,0.0,0.11924332936302673,0.0,0.0,0.10313477874831244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990011778802163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594543181298048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138219324739888,0.0,0.09080212467392126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023255578322748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042049607390516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715795233928187,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheAnoHito,2018/04/16,"Do I have BPD? Hi everyone, I know i should be going to a trained professional but i just want to make sure i don’t waste their time and bluff it. 
I just turned 17 years old and I think I have BPD. 
I always had unstable Relationships. I’m in current relationship I constantly want to break up with her to try to test the  waters or so i don’t get hurt. I think everyone is out to get me, and when people talk, they’re talking bad about me. I do self harm, and it’s very relieving. I tend to get bored easily a lot too. I get irritable. I get paranoid and worried people are going to leave me. I feel hopeless and a waste of space. For no reason I just disliked my grandma when she did nothing to me and it lasted for the day and the next day I loved her. I tend to hop from different interests and i’ve been doing that for the longest time. One day I saw my Girlfriend looking at another dude and I lost it. I went from happy to upset and Ik she’s going to leave me, I have bad jealousy issues. She touched my face and I flipped and was like OMG stopped and she was upset. There’s moments where i hate my friends and just isolate myself from them for a couple hours or sometimes even days. Even moments where i don’t like my gf and i’ll love her like crazy the next day, or next hour. When my girlfriend or close friend goes on vacation or to the mall i get extremely mad and angry i think the worst and stop talking to them. There’s times where broken things because i’m angry and punched the wall. I’ve gotten physical with my mom and pushed her and her boyfriend before. I also have extremely bad trust issues. I have really bad self esteem issues.  There will be days where I feel confident but then others it’s extremely low.  I get impulsive at times and don’t realize what i say/do until after or it’s late after the fact. I have an unstable relationship with my mom. When ever i’m upset i tend to buy things until I have money or eat a lot as well.  When I text people and they don’t text back i think the worst like they hate me, I screw up, i’m a failure. I get so upset and angry and just ignore them. 
just let me know what you guys think. 
Thanks",0.9331857832219724,3.115096547884189,2.748993596881963,92.01446292687454,83.52115812917594,5.87975129918337,20.267306978470675,7.1686216300943375,0.4586603192279135,1686,49,368,24,48,559,199,449,0.285,0.59,0.126,-0.9981,2,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,1,6,1,29,36,4,4,17,0,27,6,1,2,3,68,68,46,0,3,15,2,3,4,5,2,0,0,0,3,12,30,2,3,11,1,2,5,6,21,1,1,9,5,73,15,39,54,4,58,0,4,2,3,35,15,1,9,41,236,85,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058343167588836176,0.060705528498091736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650109527381896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056098930642727175,0.24366202300415665,0.0444735144532818,0.0,0.062080481267749725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377194041821013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883989728347322,0.0,0.0,0.08072481480222157,0.0,0.28230486545424466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622385889587442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465256071322103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637396362232063,0.06599319636884939,0.0,0.13942583983802992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377784638378806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273179171461145,0.0,0.3049334581558634,0.0,0.12438832677122118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223825773621739,0.0,0.07766339232727265,0.0,0.14405858495472898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436946197238368,0.0,0.07810128273497421,0.0,0.0,0.2284424275725476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018980514459341,0.059469163473009665,0.0822979417570852,0.1545004834261613,0.0,0.07460281190869122,0.0,0.14257115185226027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612649603686466,0.0,0.07964047541242719,0.12404976146450895,0.1316919104858275,0.0,0.04869893085170477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089119322954546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232769721090386,0.0,0.0,0.07000358649120779,0.0,0.0765554178642383,0.0,0.04943711160732396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517362433030181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04673770664682347,0.07501127975865048,0.0,0.23498345367710086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801781862096012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221877070094084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215569669304306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198955252015252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876049747647199,0.0,0.0,0.17591865434744375,0.0,0.06716840606640274,0.0,0.0,0.09693791573472443,0.23373741957279034,0.0,0.0,0.17016574002337256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953257339295099,0.07935556001589067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060196630236386585,0.08606309218485353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559652131359653,0.06763126835630746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409071589277325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046981498118382536
mentalhealth,spicyramenchips,2018/04/16,"violent thoughts!!! hi im really scared i’ll seriously harm someone tonight. i’ve got a detailed plan. i know exactly who i’m harming, when, and with what. please i’ve been set on doing this since this morning but right now i dont wanna do it. im afraid im also suffering some kind of split personality although ive never been diagnosed. please, help me before i become violent again. is there a number i can call? the police? some kind of mental health institution? i live in ontario if that helps. ",0.8208503401360545,3.369930132653064,3.213102040816328,83.66285034013605,94.6122448979592,6.286802721088438,22.859863945578237,7.554174236665415,1.6427814965986394,395,16,74,9,15,135,74,98,0.206,0.67,0.124,-0.8589,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,2,2,3,0,8,2,0,0,2,11,12,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,4,0,7,2,6,8,2,9,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,3,5,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316767122347013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185150562773056,0.1401115846999268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813393306960414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671241109484589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192977611332975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169181349208173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502344736658326,0.0,0.0,0.2207331860930436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.533575750816356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429313362082601,0.0904915719574494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453957757440152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593624507996574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699417777785638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437727623601983,0.0,0.3614894424419493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548394615826898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061678577284986,0.0,0.0,0.16485109377788248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620656031038958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951394444714274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071983032467244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hollyisunstable,2018/04/16,"i need help i don’t know how long this is going to end up being so i guess here goes nothing.

my mom and i have not had the best relationship lately and it’s getting to the point where it’s starting to affect my mental health and she’s starting to become controlling.

for starters, (this relates to more than one subreddit so yeah) i am 18 years old and in my senior year of high school. there is about a month left until i’m supposed to graduate but i’ve barely gone since i shaved my head, so summer school would have to be an option. i casually mentioned that i don’t want to graduate and i want to drop out of school, so naturally, i must’ve triggered something so she began yelling at me because i’m ruining my life by not wanting to graduate. this made my depression basically skyrocket and now, i don’t know what to do.

secondly, i basically said that she was controlling my life, so she said she has every right to because she’s my mother and i live under her roof so she has every right to control my life.

effects of the situation: i feel like i’m not good enough to live so i’ve started to eat less and i’ve thought about killing myself to leave this “hellhole”.

also, i’m not the only one affected: my sister – who’s 14 almost 15 by the way – is also affected, but seems to be the favorite.

i can’t get a job and leave because she would never let me leave and save my mental health from killing me. i’ve applied for a job and haven’t gotten any calls back. i applied for a job about two months ago and never got a call back.

another point is that my mom is making herself out to be the victim yet has no reason to. she blames me and my sister for everything that goes wrong. she puts me down and makes fun of me for my weight. she acts like we’re the problem and doesn’t like to take responsibility for her actions.

she gets pissed off for the smallest things and when i try to call her out i get yelled and sometimes it’s not just yelling.

side note: i was once offered antidepressants but i was 17 therefore i had no say and my mom didn’t want me on them so she said no so i’m not on them.

i hope this was easy to read or understand. if you have any questions or advice please let me know because i can’t take this anymore. i need help. my mom has mood swings and i can’t live here much longer or i will end my life just to leave. i don’t want to but if it’s my only option i will take it. ",1.435773809523809,3.372469204365082,3.091111111111111,91.60250000000002,80.17063492063492,6.025396825396825,22.206349206349206,7.083569544072883,0.5699253968253966,1885,59,418,23,48,623,220,504,0.131,0.7859999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9784,3,0,1,0,2,2,37.0,0,1,2,5,27,18,4,0,15,1,40,10,2,14,2,79,82,43,2,13,17,7,2,3,0,4,6,7,0,0,18,22,2,3,10,2,0,5,21,8,0,4,16,9,75,9,54,56,5,51,0,2,0,0,41,19,1,12,28,274,93,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366050035209966,0.057748527285794826,0.0,0.06523490622476087,0.0,0.0,0.1041954197460174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860383950502257,0.0683118869141661,0.0,0.0,0.06460791854942764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018742326119692,0.0,0.15885104280580614,0.07194929778681536,0.0,0.0,0.0683673340488754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19956587728106345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920234330114247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561106683085237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666612323266924,0.0,0.0,0.11540109634758765,0.067313849211363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977763499961372,0.0,0.0585495604695622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03294007674596562,0.04654074172514557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614563187187342,0.0,0.03702431222901286,0.05464187448285867,0.0521036846646964,0.0,0.07176632099702708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668592030448092,0.13849557187645328,0.0,0.0,0.08733278112171504,0.0688309562480039,0.0,0.06470527000187971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394383492726625,0.0,0.1441501140342562,0.0,0.10740859750633908,0.0,0.07348819870429528,0.2759233580699832,0.07078196797009681,0.13323361795917754,0.18405987155372794,0.0954820094505931,0.0,0.17257691537676148,0.05765268806756696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616432850104694,0.08697171838586618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130489373373494,0.0,0.0,0.3051956269315999,0.1039987839598694,0.0,0.04789024446449519,0.09661075202051464,0.10049014312628747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250991658167811,0.0,0.06836039443736336,0.06937899936899113,0.08829003991105694,0.09909384487170422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715114000603566,0.1231691823130799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233649483633935,0.0,0.06549032333049512,0.07297909784345613,0.0,0.06516422633034205,0.0,0.0,0.06698155159503258,0.0,0.06994306446129993,0.0,0.1112696753152734,0.1859079957496003,0.05180718851744328,0.0,0.1977955017230956,0.0,0.05930701493344856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388993802642263,0.07322750426673334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015303294216643,0.06443164996612688,0.0,0.1383332894324259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694639945455132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04328050411346016,0.0,0.0,0.05171912086295994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044230262848862695,0.0,0.06363875884038955,0.06781990472036839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212575322523476,0.05171033616460596,0.0,0.07933100422917487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255654634824473,0.0712275766467923,0.0,0.08390454476589461
mentalhealth,AlwaysHopeless,2018/04/16,"Know too much? Head pain So my whole life has been kind of devoted to gaming and schooling.

 I'm almost 22 and have spent almost  25,000 hours on schooling or just learning in general

I graduated 2 years early out of high school, and continued learning, I now know 5 languages 8 instruments multitudes of different areas of history math sciences. 

However this past year I've seen a decline in mental health almost insanity inducing I've found. My house does still have original lead paint coat from 1957, I have been exposed to mercury in small amounts, in gaseous form. I have had large usage of aluminium and many other issues 

But I'm starting to have short term memory issues and emotional issues. My mind is always cluttered or overthinking and there's no stopping it. 

I deal with constant depression, PTSD and many other issues (that I am trying to get worked out)

However i dont want to harm myself or others but i fear that getting professional help may restrict my rights to own weapons (I love history and currently own a lot of WWII and civil war related items such as arisakas and the like) 

I also have upset some people in various intellectual arguments, where my self or my fiance have been attacked over just simple facts being stated. 

However all my issues I feel like I cant control myself anymore I know too much to the point I cant even think straight anymore I'm constantly forgetting everything and I feel like my brain is going to explode half the time. 

I haven't worked in almost 10 months due to inability to process things correctly, it's also lead to major irritability anxiety and depression 

Idk what to do, who I should go to. I dont know what to even call this.",6.037609321058687,7.463617047468354,6.591565017261221,73.38755466052939,66.81645569620252,10.049252013808976,33.03452243958573,10.230975488527342,3.6501126582278483,1361,59,230,34,22,444,190,316,0.16899999999999998,0.7509999999999999,0.08,-0.9802,5,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,14,15,3,2,5,0,24,6,2,5,3,55,44,22,1,2,8,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,13,15,0,3,11,1,1,4,6,9,0,1,7,3,28,6,33,34,14,41,0,2,1,1,7,18,0,11,21,148,41,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467189785158899,0.0,0.0,0.13844784790485828,0.072026855275647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622000284359683,0.0,0.1716932913670137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847723216814623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663227181363686,0.08838989369576501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18708641575411394,0.09708709768535702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924203854559754,0.1491121450588593,0.0,0.0,0.09043928928840587,0.0,0.0,0.07575134389242087,0.0,0.2029009878014683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737105457075963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143473041402409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779670797953747,0.0,0.0,0.09740677133302802,0.08753710568883465,0.12368039876318132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949112090673749,0.0,0.0,0.090450567694116,0.0,0.09839081911199428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888380007177963,0.09201178860542218,0.0,0.0,0.0580209553707836,0.09145793341970616,0.0,0.0,0.08524653219239554,0.09988139320409843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451743305666759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014142415810356,0.1902897357993852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061141586560075935,0.12687005584591665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359226117489105,0.0781259500758183,0.0,0.0,0.1755213841949115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723454447961257,0.0,0.08740335281658912,0.0,0.06909328576564687,0.0,0.12726665525046435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210850195423458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263361025079156,0.060011472358734726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182945210554149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118681910640642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392382084559312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628173254215521,0.0,0.0,0.0903034669062984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061269315747286064,0.0,0.06912884839835295,0.07237004653362146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057508215479644034,0.055465693845666034,0.0,0.0,0.05047523443405204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058770190845411935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105674918527371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966438337882944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603692349197626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148670143649914
mentalhealth,RuminantBearer,2018/04/16,"Feel crazy I (24) went to the bar with a mate. About 6 local/feral kids (19-20 year olds) steal my mate's phone as he's texting outside the bar. He's in shock and looking at his empty hands, they come back after 20 secs and ask for his wallet and he proceeds to put his hands in his pocket to give them his wallet; they aren't armed just 3 of the 6-8.

I run after them to get my mates phone back. All (3) of them run but one guy. He turns around and puts his hands up so I put my hands up quick and strike him weakly to scare him off and miss. We dance for a while till he lands a few punches and I punch his chest and it doesn't effect him. I keep going because i'm in too deep and if I back down he'll chase me till he's had his fill.

Now 3 kids join the guy who didn't run from me. Now it's 4vs1 me because they're getting confident after he lands a few punches to my face. Suddenly they all start running (idk) and I chase after them because my ego wants to get them back for being hit physical (to get even), which was idiotic of me.

There are more in numbers about 6 so I slowly walk backwards. An old man about 60 years old runs at them with his long beer glass and they all run away. People at the bar come outside and tell me not to chase them anymore because they may be armed etc. and start telling me what happened when a friend of theirs chased x y z...anecdotes)

I walk inside and buy the old man a beer and go home to meditate and log it in my journal which I will rip out and burn after. My mate is angry at me for not getting his phone back. Glad he can't text me to tell me how frustrated he is.

Now I have PTSD from trauma and abuse etc. Been stabbed, armed robbery, knocked out a few times. What I did was idiotic but It was impulsive. I wasn't thinking straight. It was pure instinct. Cancer was the cherry on top to give me an IDGAF attitude. But was very stupid in this sense.

I know I will physically heal (few bleeds) from this but mentally, I'm full of regret for trying to help my friend and not being able to defend myself. I went home to my parents expecting some ""validation"" or some counselling, but they said ""okay"" after I told them what happened and told me they had to go do something upstairs.

That's why I wrote it down in my journal. To say what happened, how it made me feel and a letter to myself counselling myself with gratitude included. But I still feel emotions like rage, shock, regret and pain.

Which i'm having trouble disposing. I've tried shadow boxing to remove the negative emotions but it won't help.

Is there a way of releasing these emotions w/o holding all my emotions inside? I used to hold them in and explode when it was built up but I want to learn how to release it.",3.2970840707964584,4.156564263716817,4.141404867256636,90.528921460177,72.73451327433628,6.924336283185841,24.921460176991147,6.961326702584282,0.7774964601769909,2119,61,471,18,40,681,258,565,0.154,0.7829999999999999,0.063,-0.9955,1,0,3,0,1,0,67.0,1,0,17,2,26,21,5,1,19,1,30,19,9,6,5,75,72,44,0,6,14,1,7,1,6,5,5,2,2,6,22,32,5,3,7,6,1,21,10,16,0,1,20,10,78,5,74,43,14,85,0,3,1,0,72,30,0,5,34,298,100,1,0.08013533143692023,0.09494726392638203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794727157795225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713374346557277,0.07491571741894021,0.0,0.07528978177878833,0.3080956170809175,0.0,0.19539901701876505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380589847314767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605658477831976,0.0,0.0,0.1787441547407493,0.052928630639775265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215564941154249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382471656776027,0.0,0.20933701605978972,0.15374622384962802,0.13662826672511827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869315396282427,0.21259022681601705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742604696375556,0.0,0.16076454253356076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712279645772035,0.0,0.0,0.04404028243776339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03915007514813828,0.0,0.0,0.0709172466098555,0.06729349580806385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758259881968684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075756605731085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33635420051740755,0.0,0.05430177450033551,0.0,0.08526964260984332,0.0,0.08898080218359984,0.0,0.0,0.055555748839149884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367391412268508,0.2416744248634944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622705100276263,0.06372683195532827,0.08022944648995571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061692093198212665,0.0,0.0,0.11344040009067898,0.0,0.06399617920055206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21012543535073186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134748466191392,0.0,0.0,0.04672755619213285,0.0,0.0,0.15314548662432306,0.0,0.10881325964872393,0.08716422916367039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921119707184452,0.0,0.06612004088629,0.09453178943268108,0.06360769610197728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857251016711154,0.0723096723683551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032090522106634
mentalhealth,PleaseLetMeSleepAlre,2018/04/16,"I keep dreaming of people dying I don't have a history of mental illness, but the last few months I've been struggling with depression. Have a good job, but no social life due to where I live, and it's draining me.

The last week or two I haven't been able to sleep without having nightmares, every time. Usually it's worst case scenario things, but last night the dream just hit me like a wreck. Two people just taking every thing I care about, slowly and in every freaking unpredictable way, until I can't go on anymore. It started with a number of people I was with, each trying to escape a facility before being shot down in horrible way. And then it was animals, and finally my kitten.

I just can't. Today I just sat crying in my room, and I don't know what to do. It just keeps coming back to me, and I just want it to stop.

I'm not suicidal, and I'm thankful for that. But some days it's just hard to function with just me in my room. It's frigid cold here, and can't go out, and I don't want to be left to myself.

I hope no one has to go through nights like this. I hope everyone can at least escape at night, for a few hours, before having to go back to daily things. TV shows don't help, games don't help, and I can't find another outlet.

It's early here, but I will be going to sleep. I hope to G-d I'm able to get some relief tonight - now I'm beginning to feel how some say life is a constant nightmare. I can't keep dreaming like this",3.1564985994397747,3.7665804575163406,4.630765639589171,87.81558823529413,72.85620915032679,7.397198879551821,24.04855275443511,7.447530270364453,0.899153314659197,1124,29,248,12,21,377,152,306,0.146,0.6890000000000001,0.165,0.6138,1,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,0,0,16,14,0,1,10,0,27,5,2,1,0,49,55,19,2,5,16,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,2,0,16,17,0,4,3,6,0,6,15,4,0,3,5,4,26,10,38,45,8,47,0,1,0,0,5,13,0,7,29,163,42,1,0.1903142925012241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978056474819133,0.0,0.0,0.09437031959265316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14633994353324245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194344560856253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701905249384957,0.0,0.0,0.08196945570534872,0.0,0.10283106990138192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045256569209412,0.06136848717734818,0.0,0.08195871063051988,0.0,0.0987580944322408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405219994306167,0.0909267311123754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048114312296643966,0.0,0.0,0.1042400024729828,0.08697190775600272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049715681449569865,0.0,0.2703999955575936,0.07981329957478865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524211227221909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756365861045815,0.0,0.0,0.2835375514257485,0.09371062110942033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442878466519396,0.25374013138293405,0.0,0.0,0.05229587900497204,0.2326973239481253,0.0,0.0,0.10338851782734224,0.0,0.13442461305590128,0.13946692525479953,0.0,0.08402550349902642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958960222209612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595352628510822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26789560690298797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448094498571615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790995142425888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567278202667413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045173520721967,0.0970007271805026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673527178873271,0.0,0.0,0.07955563512046647,0.0,0.09947891009264714,0.0,0.10408647336836656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154633152749218,0.0,0.0,0.08760791550176894,0.0,0.0,0.18965453911939525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548689721223128,0.0,0.09019784821251374,0.0,0.0,0.06460545602503713,0.0,0.1859094100254232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480215289468828,0.0,0.11225230059051478,0.1510626269863209,0.07632932293166138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172809329490733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,myotheraccount698797,2018/04/16,"protecting my precious precious health it's taken such a long time and so much effort to overcome my depression that i just can't jeopardize it for anyone.  thankfully, no one's asking me to, but being the helpful sort could get me into trouble.  helping a friend through something like a break-up is different from playing therapist to someone with the non-stop negativity of depression.  i understand the struggle so well but it's not something i can be involved with at this point.  i always thought it was shitty of people to have basically abandoned me when i was at my worst but i get it.  i really can't waste my time and energy now on negativity from someone i can't help anyway. ",5.755376068376068,7.0723681615384635,6.835641025641023,71.78158119658123,67.38461538461539,9.777777777777779,35.21367521367522,9.994966539143718,3.8295726495726505,551,27,93,13,9,185,85,130,0.256,0.545,0.199,-0.9233,1,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,8,13,0,1,6,0,11,1,0,0,0,15,18,8,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,6,1,1,4,0,15,7,16,11,2,10,0,3,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,75,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058647847903345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654258407152275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691880725043634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449456071431946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117486212182367,0.0,0.0,0.18908133692589946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398215611241145,0.0,0.18910491667809395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236895976676832,0.0,0.0,0.3639130702224169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841570208389786,0.0,0.0,0.1601580105566022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303813812660215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263397959472312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254659287325458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108075843772885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159378203313476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306680650736396,0.27864823822207224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130398811881132,0.0,0.1891953449675625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661832924998404,0.0,0.21012701327151487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436746799288953,0.21105705017215934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840233439632065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627191030121725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LukeCombsFan,2018/04/17,"Mental well being spiralling out of control I take over 500 pictures a day, I absolutely hate my face in selfies. My face is so stretched out and I look dead. I also hate pictures of me in bad lighting that other people like. I love how I look when I record myself or take a picture in the mirror and then flip the image(so it's no longer a mirror image) The disparity between my looks between pictures is making my mind melt. I have spent the last 7 years obsessed about my looks but I eventually came across to finding relative acceptance last summer but then I had an incident with a girl and my esteem spiralled out of control.",4.127704918032791,6.0645411147541,5.1270163934426245,80.03396721311476,72.27868852459017,7.1750819672131145,30.2327868852459,7.908726449838941,2.228446557377049,504,22,89,7,10,165,80,122,0.108,0.8079999999999999,0.083,-0.2366,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,2,1,9,0,5,3,2,4,0,18,17,12,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,4,1,0,3,5,18,4,16,13,0,18,0,0,4,1,2,9,0,1,9,65,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661313767372246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263638258858458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19538465166203609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3832019996886176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017157919288233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561360376247514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373196230653032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27849941484609875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345918297389854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5738185848530151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418125070362473,0.0,0.11403072578939047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215702541057096,0.0,0.17249016798994424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184324012169629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568866430440798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359718999635466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000928019191833
mentalhealth,Alanb12,2018/04/17,"Concerns with my Girlfriend I love and care for her very much, but I think she has trouble regulating her emotions. If something goes wrong she’ll take it to the extreme sometimes. She got a 70 something percent on a quiz, and she threatened to kill herself, she was screaming over the phone crying her eyes out and had a belt around her neck while over the phone. Sometimes something bad happens and she’s okay but a lot of the time she can’t handle it. It was her birthday yesterday and she got new shoes, but her new dog that they got a month ago chews on them a bit, and she was crying and slamming against the dogs cage. I can understand her being angry or frustrated at this but not to this level. The dog is only a few months and a puppy. She is in a semi-abusive household, I’m not sure what exactly the details are but I know it’s not a good relationship. I’m worried that if something bad happens one of these days she’s gonna do something she regrets either to herself or to someone or something else. When she gets mad she says mean things to me even if I’m not responsible. I offered to buy her new shoes to replace them but she told me to shut up, and to do a homework assignment for her. Her parents won’t take her to see a therapist or a doctor or anything. I’m 15 and she just turned 16. I don’t know what to do. ",2.585661729574774,4.278230461538462,3.6486542443064174,90.0445341614907,75.88644688644689,6.06650740563784,27.620480968307056,6.7026698264267655,1.1552323299888516,1048,43,220,9,23,338,143,273,0.227,0.7490000000000001,0.024,-0.9964,1,0,6,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,0,4,14,3,0,20,1,17,7,4,0,2,42,40,26,1,4,20,1,0,0,1,3,1,2,1,0,12,13,1,0,5,0,1,0,7,9,0,1,8,4,41,5,27,28,6,22,0,1,2,1,41,11,0,9,11,153,53,4,0.0,0.12753874690642264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541857117731876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858059620654989,0.09582463619556997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975396314368364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751771815649885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974869090442656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23648043797842164,0.06942049996752976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017664806496047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992148666335376,0.12108331115043132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109684837789354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623875740136372,0.0,0.0,0.09028541219417882,0.25827459387012897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037579396839072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909046483666515,0.0,0.1183149930443984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151379429322763,0.09715154841091878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725422632820325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183841451954032,0.0,0.07912961446652651,0.0,0.0,0.3118853581354856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294133593926118,0.08186696297319053,0.0,0.0,0.11952424472203575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556774844892025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560162721698393,0.0,0.0,0.08577712672299821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120513109564474,0.4972106789702686,0.2129223468483937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145177140646372,0.0,0.16186750998530205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498122555920603,0.07151288624041309,0.06897296014401119,0.0,0.0,0.06276720061533178,0.0,0.0,0.10285701056949212,0.0,0.0,0.11708411704436555,0.0,0.1120596266251672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881632615108674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931617204583012,0.0,0.0,0.11769016304822184,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mattman717,2018/04/17,"Question regarding outpatient treatment So I am court ordered for a mental evaluation and am possibly looking at outpatient treatment as part of my conditions. My questions is how many weeks does it take to get discharged from outpatient treatment? What are the possible to steps to pass my evaluation to not get placed in outpatient. Can I refuse treatment after my probation is complete or will they force me to stay in treatment? 

Thanks ",7.4908,10.133896413333336,6.906333333333336,67.81150000000002,64.86666666666667,10.866666666666667,41.83333333333333,10.864195022040775,5.633933333333332,361,22,51,11,6,112,55,75,0.029,0.928,0.043,0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,7,12,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,13,11,1,10,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,3,2,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22736379024636225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897674730561751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22659103833438746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209993835902447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21985253220915474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21853446049237535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348281317972032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265627843861175,0.0,0.0,0.4889330713133431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858447334577134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311339496377129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304470820012298,0.0,0.0,0.1996469520385992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394451845128595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dobermanKeeper,2018/04/17,"ADHD spiralling out of control I have a doctors appointment tomorrow but my adhd is getting wildly worse over the past month with hours of being 9/10 energy and absolutely can't focused. However, these past two days have been really bad with me either being 12:10 energy or falling asleep while driving, with no in between. Classes have been skipped, grades are plummeting and I'm getting no work done at my internship because I keep getting up every two minutes. I can't Even concentrate on my favourite things such as video games and TV shows, my attention span is gone for those too. I'm struggling right now",8.908918918918918,8.926783990990991,8.102477477477478,69.92236486486486,60.44144144144144,11.363963963963965,40.12162162162162,10.864195022040775,4.612794594594595,497,24,79,11,6,155,84,111,0.193,0.764,0.043,-0.9609,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,2,0,13,2,1,1,0,13,20,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,1,4,0,3,4,2,0,2,4,0,8,0,14,14,1,19,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,8,55,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516720787512372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569002912217033,0.11455059402923055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21076146301783388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211889459478034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233788078881467,0.0,0.19230120354972693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411538550079255,0.0,0.1583255996084675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945318342884308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850573790998796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702654451998775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999111457498362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587702383965493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038248215309355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047747851911864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644845119490129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484167226128412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367129229984916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680358679339807,0.0,0.1915003593977911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,group_throwaway_69,2018/04/17,"Work Male, 19, live in USA
I've been diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety, mild psychosis, and a few minor behavioral/personality disorders. I've left the topic of work alone in therapy because I've always wanted to make my own way and do as much for myself as possible.   
The problem is, my parents kicked me out a month ago and I moved in with my brother, and the change in living situation made it impossible for me to get to work on time, and there was no way I'd be able to take a different shift (it was custodial and all the work was done early in the morning), so I had to quit that job. I haven't been able to find a new job yet, and I've started having panick attacks whenever I get turned down for another job (this can range anywhere from 0 to 3 times a day). And they're not little mini attacks either. I've blacked out a couple of times.     
I'm worried, because I really want to be independent from gov't assistance, but with all my other issues and now I can't find a job and I've started having these attacks. I'm wondering if maybe I should just throw in the towel and go for the assistance. What do you all think?   
And if I should, does anyone know how I would go about doing that? ",5.564490632318503,5.322134430327871,6.8759953161592495,76.80729508196723,67.40163934426228,10.086182669789226,30.95316159250585,9.784248007369934,2.7670489461358314,947,33,189,19,14,324,142,244,0.098,0.8959999999999999,0.006,-0.9399,7,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,5,7,5,3,0,14,0,21,1,0,4,3,41,38,19,0,8,6,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,8,17,0,0,5,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,8,2,17,0,32,25,7,30,0,1,1,0,4,12,0,3,12,122,25,8,0.19989817384803615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859883497532288,0.0,0.0,0.1035171109858117,0.0,0.0,0.08316564707519834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480533236126176,0.07646077792419259,0.0,0.0,0.06988672550929706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34111954648424786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218560713899932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573288118963248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105917636194098,0.0,0.06445889248433415,0.0,0.08608600211082504,0.10144621931612696,0.0,0.10442552275684876,0.11455031279772583,0.0,0.08746611951221918,0.10228261750505456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827033094363417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443854534273384,0.0,0.11360673885306305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432087916065873,0.3967361854998947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054929404279000886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859497539002708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017524266514036,0.17651374981213375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457424271532576,0.0667167916391615,0.0,0.10041229188554107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977840761284016,0.10623006171819876,0.07347407917849001,0.0,0.0,0.0965314509733989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098163285214807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727168748605138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267757788056205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563777776725137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630815691998467,0.0,0.0,0.06402994442616636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582803769526194,0.0,0.0,0.11234696140517797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148895631989436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751492745495185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430049154691302,0.0,0.0,0.0640433391336649,0.0,0.0,0.1748433490639813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871590547051643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790512211866805,0.15866986590646304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839052122649906,0.29105650267426075,0.1015031494154748,0.0,0.07100096367142439,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amollir,2018/04/17,"help me out w/ feedback hey folks!

i'm korryn, and i'm currently working on a project for my senior thesis @ rensselaer polytechnic institute that i would really love some ears and voices on. this may end up bein a bit long, so i apologize!!

i've struggled with developing mental health/emotional literacy and healthy coping mechanisms for most of my life; i never had a support system with my family or friends, as i moved frequently and vulnerability was never talked about in my family. i've been lucky and was able to find a group of friends that have become my rock and helped me out in my recent college years, but i wanted to make an effort to help those who feel like they don't feel comfortable reaching out to those around them as i was there for a large part of my life too.

the basic lowdown of my design is that it's a system that focuses on creating a repository of coping mechanisms inputted by people that others could access in times of need based on what someone is feeling at the time. i don't want to overload this post with ALL of the details, but i really want input from people other than those i personally know; everyone's experience is different, so i gladly welcome all voices and thoughts on this!!

PM me (or comment) if you would like to help out in any way.

thanks so much!",10.644759999999998,7.452365556000004,10.4912,64.37360000000001,59.44,14.0,40.6,12.161744961471696,4.817360000000001,1039,39,187,25,10,346,150,250,0.058,0.758,0.184,0.9873,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,2,2,7,12,0,1,11,0,15,4,1,1,4,42,30,17,0,8,5,0,3,2,2,3,2,3,0,1,16,15,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,6,24,11,41,20,7,32,0,0,0,1,18,16,0,7,13,132,40,5,0.12928123468282213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879156728267568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508770808113933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427809665964192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114162472742067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322054618442432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507137413538886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454239882397053,0.11450480122555465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353375996503532,0.0,0.12646185464378534,0.2437496846474512,0.0,0.19610543016631332,0.09235853988902024,0.0,0.0,0.11816070637305627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997647224399597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741990700475964,0.0,0.0,0.3466179459057069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104958558530515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263031871361685,0.12632056203725128,0.0,0.0,0.1144098244510943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668136177764482,0.0,0.08629622803602334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028507728937352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374054927565418,0.09503658278138832,0.09586039740073607,0.19941931624540613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999897879714604,0.0,0.17925466020709555,0.11288338751535786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381568619212585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564173874605098,0.0,0.1276496226449237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953957061329153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351528164559281,0.0,0.0,0.1467068130661225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391135935191988,0.0,0.11902479141427795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263485948411373,0.1507698551914058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287602653316596,0.1026174265450744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411827858116828,0.0,0.0,0.18367535971769205,0.0,0.0,0.08325287648396114
mentalhealth,fitzp163,2018/04/17,"Calling all Veterans Hi all,
I am a nursing student from the University of Minnesota and have been assigned to write a formal report on the topic of my choice. I have decided to focus on mental health services in the military. I would greatly appreciate feedback to the below prompts. My goal is to find trends to incorporate into my formal report but all respondents will remain anonymous. Thank you!
Have you ever been deployed overseas?
Were you involved in active combat?
What is your experience with military mental health services and support while serving?
Could anything have improved your experience as an active member or a veteran? If so, what?",6.542499999999998,9.486766821428574,7.004785714285713,64.79021428571431,68.28571428571428,8.765714285714285,37.09285714285714,9.3871,4.4438007142857145,532,29,68,12,10,173,76,112,0.025,0.802,0.173,0.9595,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,5,0,1,2,3,0,0,8,0,13,2,0,0,4,16,15,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,11,3,16,9,3,8,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,2,2,61,13,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275400663965985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267698614172507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731386584860825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088527145118892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344762967870825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297830628579272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484544311341264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721241236610895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476114798944836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520152540619728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20446264506081932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577602003504616,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LizLazzara,2018/04/17,"Something I wrote (Mariah Carey/Bipolar Disorder/Stigma) I'm thrilled that I got to write this piece about Mariah Carey ""coming out"" as living with bipolar II and I wanted to share it with y'all. I also live with mental illness (bipolar II, ADHD, complex PTSD/""regular"" PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder), so this means a lot to me, but I was hoping to get some feedback from others about what the mental health/mental illness community thinks about my take on this bit of news. 

(Hopefully) happy reading! : This is my first op-ed and probably my biggest byline so far, so I'm looking for some feedback on how well I conveyed my message, what people living with mental illness/bipolar disorder think, and whether or not people WITHOUT a mental health diagnosis felt like they learned something or their mind was changed about a certain aspect of the piece.

(Hopefully) happy reading! https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/16/opinions/mariah-carey-bipolar-stigma-breaks-my-heart-lazzara-opinion/index.html",11.892222222222225,13.213159694267516,9.326709129511679,59.26519462137298,53.968152866242036,10.03510261854211,40.37438075017693,9.725611199111238,4.349418117480537,820,36,103,12,9,241,97,157,0.063,0.777,0.161,0.953,0,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,2,1,10,10,0,0,5,0,3,5,0,1,1,36,19,14,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,6,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,2,14,10,21,14,6,7,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,8,2,73,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502111279938914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984508708017253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594632581101254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265550798077073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884985874288295,0.09677831944094367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575223211887222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787221728304668,0.0,0.0,0.09556361097810734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869747528696489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985539090505804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391942205044272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388424893491318,0.0,0.13313356118177258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347623512839006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488782184213229,0.0,0.2976174581924527,0.0,0.0943444781413894,0.0,0.0,0.09551471133344888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238049647990633,0.0,0.0,0.4528836158179066,0.0,0.11343999872503517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557766636743997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113072843381745,0.0,0.26265886285869045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247578868028096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298279033790004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447212035035483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397681636627835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626607991384277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101483023873707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829998367335697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amethespian,2018/04/17,"Am I able to get treated without my parents knowing? I’m 17. I didn’t know where to post this so I thought this sub might help me out, I apologize if I didn’t post this to the right sub. I live in Arizona for reference.

I’m turning 18 in about 5 months and I know I’ll be able to make my own medical decisions then, but my mental health has deteriorated very badly and it’s getting to the point where I feel like I can’t function as a normal human being anymore. 

I suspect I have ADHD since it runs in my family & the symptoms are spot on, even others notice but my dad says it’s all in my head & that I’m just lazy. I’ve also been diagnosed with depression/anxiety, but I honestly feel like it’s not the right fit. I’m not getting any treatment currently since I stopped taking antidepressants & going to therapy. 

I’m not worried about the money aspect since I get free healthcare in my state. I tried reading up on the laws for age of consent to get seen alone, but I haven’t found anything worthwhile. I was wondering if it was possible to get seen & possibly get treated without my parents being there? I just can’t take it anymore. I know if I don’t do anything soon, something’s going to happen, I don’t know what, but I don’t want to find out. ",3.4122141560798562,4.483384796934868,5.048594474692479,83.33348457350273,72.67816091954023,7.946844121798751,29.82879612825166,8.371475516178862,2.1392712643678164,996,42,204,16,19,338,138,261,0.07400000000000001,0.815,0.112,0.8145,3,1,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,7,0,20,5,1,1,1,41,52,14,0,5,15,3,2,2,0,1,4,1,0,1,12,5,0,1,14,1,2,3,13,1,0,0,9,5,31,7,29,39,2,28,0,0,2,0,7,16,0,5,8,124,43,1,0.18561449311609407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111536275181466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961203182330255,0.0,0.07421792154213556,0.0,0.4022264514847437,0.0,0.06311211015556263,0.0,0.07099728959230144,0.0,0.18407970106902452,0.0,0.0,0.1527449124547657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749017431469077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094197401679225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129831106560168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749041242150209,0.0,0.09385226481099497,0.132603030969667,0.0,0.0,0.08482414200902068,0.0,0.0,0.10175835557765243,0.0,0.0,0.33941569094116397,0.0,0.1054889939255487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206914163064241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524700985983647,0.0986497632287017,0.0,0.0,0.06220674107506236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550221779456221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068186558632843,0.0,0.08195049901833339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194955773757651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934935370896963,0.09352787603316193,0.09845382239052762,0.0,0.0,0.07407785876985361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093139678266364,0.0,0.10566166532862503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061029286111239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773284595046281,0.20925245189832636,0.17776737582029348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283236151700704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851376294078431,0.0,0.07380404747307903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23031334018931995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144755255221517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759101375593919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646226443384914,0.13955899881461672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613317467086547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367858709705143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301002838525245,0.10094763398342746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657569797153012,0.05474011857278089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892574769528147,0.10064550000011672,0.0,0.09425026385065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SwiftSwiftly,2018/04/17,"How would you know if you fried your brain? Well I'm starting to think I'm not mentally up to par as I should be as a 19 year old. I started a drug habit early on and I think I'm feeling the impacts now. I've tried multiple drugs out there and I really abused some a little much. The biggest habit is smoking weed which I've been doing daily since I was 12. I'm wondering how much damage I've caused my self. I've already dealt with some depression and anxiety recently that I think had something to do with it, and I feel like I'm free of that. But sometimes I question my mental strength. I'll space out of conversation with people sometimes or If im thinking and someone asks me something I'll just say yeah without processing what they say. I think I can't focus much anymore and class room settings kill me. People have also told me I'm ""different"" and sometimes they wonder what my mind goes to. Idk if I should take that negatively or embrace the difference I am. ",3.207620558375634,4.867867791878172,4.366189720812184,85.68908153553298,74.12690355329948,7.361548223350255,28.04854060913705,8.07648339933343,1.8304520304568528,773,31,155,12,16,253,120,197,0.096,0.8140000000000001,0.09,-0.4927,1,0,4,0,1,1,15.0,0,3,2,1,7,7,1,0,6,1,13,3,1,3,0,41,34,18,1,6,9,0,2,1,0,3,2,2,1,1,7,12,0,0,11,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,4,4,23,5,16,26,5,16,0,2,0,0,12,8,0,10,8,92,30,1,0.0,0.13473243680131813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548617214789407,0.09093700519971196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699086094933504,0.0,0.11277368313104635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630719354271112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694237631509353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681555120088777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979416590128294,0.0,0.0,0.2376137511629582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637441617790574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499438027615533,0.08123726901958725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283058004451004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258076381996942,0.0,0.06249421336520927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055554892342692834,0.11397125221363802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291938327676573,0.0,0.11481867388818424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507785133261427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193236623943344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766987082901793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738564931620847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284806855735514,0.0,0.11227880765021986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808597952991411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862845055205673,0.0,0.0,0.09406535501208077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634946131559546,0.1750851094437839,0.3373980143625068,0.0,0.1609746390141824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549873896472783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643165398363674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865855288898668,0.0,0.07720430806797322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224249807305563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961619047288117,0.2466358573957681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077912788349244,0.0,0.0,0.07322805591890964
mentalhealth,brownie_throwaway,2018/04/17,"Took a lot for me to admit this but here I am Hi everyone.

I thought I’d reach out to this community. I never imagined myself having to come here but I’ve been feeling so lost lately that I figured I had to start somewhere for my journey back to being whole.

Some context: I’m 25 years old, I grew up in a very indian household where talking about mental health has been taboo, and I have been going to therapy regarding self confidence issues for the past few weeks. Last Monday, I had a lapse in judgment when I found out I might potentially get laid off at work. My reaction to this negative situation was to get drunk and numb the emotions. That following Tuesday morning took a major toll on my emotional well-being. I was advised by a friend to see a psychiatrist about this as well so I will be doing that too.

When I went to therapy yesterday, I realized that in so many negative situations I tend to do one of two things: hold onto the emotion and internalize or frantically act out with lack of composure. I don’t know how composure is maintained during those situations and I really want to fix that about me. My therapist recommended putting together a “toolbox” for the next time something negative happens to me. And she wanted me to figure it out on my own...

But I have no clue where to begin. I’ve been struggling yesterday after the session to really come up with these tools I can add because I’ve always felt at the mercy of other people’s judgment. Idk if this is an advice thread or a venting thread but I felt the need to get this out somewhere. Feel free to leave a comment with thoughts if you’d like :)",5.024065017261221,6.198332655063298,6.218147295742234,76.0647698504028,68.96835443037975,9.542922899884926,31.7686996547756,9.800150414767053,3.168562025316456,1293,55,237,30,22,434,185,316,0.131,0.759,0.11,-0.9039,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,16,8,0,2,17,0,24,3,0,1,1,48,53,20,0,6,8,0,4,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,16,16,1,2,13,1,1,11,6,4,1,2,17,5,32,5,50,31,7,48,0,1,1,0,9,18,0,7,20,177,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450628134490847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898754380448362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223478440042407,0.0,0.0651932190274096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842488210559749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608991792329672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219137644484574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815010591801674,0.0,0.2053696424355011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726064316006833,0.08262612567220509,0.0,0.16762443308160085,0.0,0.06077981117029245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457189315387599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367847503155265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116237188130989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058774661670244976,0.08717517037573931,0.12063961682431733,0.11324025073870833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224835749971073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674406713378742,0.09092156723918267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842634184772816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777629841585457,0.11345268375794974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929901882452048,0.08248325972825585,0.0,0.11373816226386085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222171636111533,0.0,0.07246929964314829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209194867349966,0.07414281110645775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751015335241568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702454522526886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522202423319397,0.0,0.1115678823720349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36063496771584747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233216738739689,0.0,0.0,0.0756968480446182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180305972989124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859590515453688,0.0,0.0,0.2446038804750243,0.12417241565687925,0.07105009408682028,0.0,0.0,0.1698061738730129,0.0623610057394865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376416271784369,0.0,0.0,0.104470590068103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882415556304916,0.1261589080142793,0.0,0.08578553829070815,0.0,0.19231438909221946,0.09913990709427532,0.0,0.11940126165103952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785787819905511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886964375808463
mentalhealth,officialTSZ,2018/04/17,"Emotional support discord channel with open doors :) https://discord.gg/AAXRnJs

Hello! I'm the creator of The Safe Zone, a mental health support Discord server catered toward users under 18 (though anyone is welcome!). We're pretty small right now, but if anyone is interested in joining, feel free to pop in with the link above.

We have channels for ranting/asking for support, as well as general chat channels for sharing your non-mental health interests and just generally getting to know the other people in the community. I personally know everyone currently on the server, and I can tell you that they're really kind, helpful people. 

Feel free to join :) We're always looking for ways to help!

",6.843025210084032,9.580399058823533,6.7014201680672265,68.21196218487397,66.81512605042016,8.45747899159664,34.589075630252104,9.120678840339163,3.7302262184873953,564,27,77,11,10,178,84,119,0.024,0.605,0.37,0.9944,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,2,0,0,4,12,0,0,7,0,4,2,0,0,0,17,14,7,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,6,0,1,5,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,5,14,19,14,0,12,0,0,1,0,11,9,0,1,2,45,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689878746285827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300807681643245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153809573163306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506957236579225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721161554023022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637854840320027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595802909389501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34976682639176865,0.0,0.0,0.22055658010610096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171328480470144,0.1808383414621421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816037840262654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580348147132765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281231845630601,0.14365773148948274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673820602823755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539954971228087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405042799613239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5601063652416551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438029501042058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164593079761952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059305743060196,0.0,0.0,0.14792860636894364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kingginger2194,2018/04/17,"Need some advice I've recently come to realize that I may need to help but don't know where to start. In grade school I was on low dose meds for A.D.D. but got off them around the time highschool started and did fine without. As far as I can remember though in my adult life, I have issues focusing on any one thing for any extended period. Now that I'm out of school and have been working for a few years it looks more like this. I'm unable to focus at work, at home video games seem to hold my attention less and less, I wanted to learn to use Photoshop to draw and do different things but didn't stick to it after starting to go through tutorials and try to learn how to use it and stopped after a week or so, same thing with video editing. I wanted to write short stories but gave it up after writing for around a week. My mind is always scattered, never on the subject at hand and its even worse when I try to sleep, often only getting an hour or two a night its gotten so bad. Its starting to cause depression and I really just need some advice on what to do now that I've begun to recognize that there may be an issue so anything is appreciated.",8.558723404255321,5.708947531914895,8.437978723404257,76.42250000000003,63.04255319148936,11.782978723404256,34.98936170212766,9.888512548439397,3.0393914893617024,910,27,191,14,10,296,142,235,0.084,0.847,0.069,-0.6759,1,0,0,1,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,15,5,0,0,8,0,15,4,2,4,1,49,37,22,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,16,13,0,2,7,3,0,2,4,3,0,2,7,2,12,2,44,27,7,41,0,2,1,0,7,18,0,8,22,132,28,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23147177988159065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854960336658453,0.0,0.0,0.16108331163857972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746408523463852,0.21086921763239772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889048129823162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121668080250495,0.0,0.10202353868605296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201016479515597,0.0,0.0,0.12374212443426898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822694345000142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187877796708002,0.0,0.0673108395562484,0.0,0.09472539927443906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938625276445074,0.0,0.11880260858371232,0.0,0.11663721682401182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472362477944873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509022890140721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365600693851827,0.05786264782703857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945778735439943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155751691053505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958825246528346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634600254734324,0.0913464085317638,0.0,0.0,0.11114570087724016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025640927653728,0.09007716135161938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587418421788424,0.0,0.11694287994347985,0.0,0.13416675678185633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397304272046777,0.0,0.10782117820455238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185231730986826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353230814994975,0.0,0.0,0.09901916936697183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23605411360039774,0.0,0.11636437883169524,0.0,0.06906193966506632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608227646598943,0.0,0.1156963634967286,0.0,0.0,0.2045841856855972,0.0,0.0,0.13971517601705302,0.0,0.19000705967821704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416965739666594,0.0,0.1724480233399617,0.0,0.12069807240110685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626995629039092
mentalhealth,realrumpelstiltskin,2018/04/17,"I feel like I’ll never be able to hold a job. I have anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and when I asked if I have ptsd my therapist said I have “trauma” (whatever). The longest job I had was five months, and majority of my jobs have been part time seasonal work. That’s about as long as I’ve worked anywhere else too. I get bored, and my mental illnesses make it hard too. Does anyone else experience this?? I have no idea what to do for a career, and even if I decide I could get bored after a few months! ",3.0701213592233003,4.450097990291262,4.668143203883496,84.52609830097089,73.95145631067963,8.645145631067964,23.55461165048544,9.188382445141503,1.6868262135922327,395,11,84,9,8,133,72,103,0.198,0.777,0.025,-0.9366,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,1,1,13,17,9,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,4,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,3,13,1,8,11,3,8,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,9,55,17,6,0.1614501531637931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350892526179966,0.0,0.0,0.1128897009951632,0.16542476121270444,0.0,0.0,0.1509340990395008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890480998275922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390567803447481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850358629110101,0.0,0.14128611702701807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520381276148405,0.26974177227437024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663630349202638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792922964967146,0.0,0.0,0.08163404847393453,0.11534002167947975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870208283749946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462762519285302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822575711417374,0.0,0.0,0.4806430945432544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788763896735916,0.0,0.0,0.14287830500992424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776923091781726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627037809078171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25773594386206244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245203112061464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748347826738163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872658927559735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357606737182886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745607159263175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414288265754674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350752687305703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Existentialism_,2018/04/17,"Mood Cycles I generally feel as though I’m in a pretty good place mentally at the moment (🤪). But I was wondering if your general mood cycles every day or every second day? So for example yesterday I was happy, exceptionally so, now later that same day I became sad a decent amount and now today I feel happy again. It’s so strange I feel as though there is always a give and take with my emotions. I can be happy but I will be equally as sad in the future, whether that today or tomorrow. This isn’t so much as an issue, as in it doesn’t affect my daily life. I’m just wondering if anyone can relate or shed some light on this situation. 

I’m probably just describing what it is like to be a human with emotion but I’m just a bit confused. 

Thanks! ",3.5949376114081986,4.630649967320263,5.876375519904933,77.70550802139039,72.20261437908495,8.700891265597148,25.673796791443852,9.095868883498916,2.0576588235294118,587,18,114,12,11,208,90,153,0.07200000000000001,0.8059999999999999,0.122,0.769,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,13,11,0,1,8,0,12,1,0,1,0,28,24,22,0,2,13,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,4,11,6,15,18,6,19,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,9,14,83,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808975774955127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992345610903502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494112789475228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745821838455732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31928436142531713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23914936333042025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527877828340652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614368971766458,0.0,0.11903671903482314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532330784118427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812879814622687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002430984619678,0.06933550041013624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302312915878398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432836773594646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827738518136352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443848212003281,0.15301499292792445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952530789833952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670703516059904,0.0,0.0,0.1306619182312914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788735994359416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690492930982689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078148452908996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,appleinthemoon,2018/04/17,"Is this something real or is it in my head I was wondering if i could describe how ive been feeling esp the past few days, because it just feels so weird and sometimes awful and i dont understand it or like it. I feel like im kind of going crazy and i don't know if this is something that others experience too.

But lately i have gotten these feelings that nothing is real, and thats typical for me but they are at the strongest theyve been now. 
I feel like i look at people and i feel nothing, i feel empty?
I was at work yesterday and when i caught myself in my reflection i was really unsettled. I felt like the person doing the work and the person in the reflection were not the same person.
My body feels heavy and hollow.
I feel like im losing my mind when i feel this way.
I know it doesnt sound like much but it honestly scares me. And its really really hard for me to fully put this into words. It just doesnt feel good..
I try to be mindful but its as though nothing means anything and i wish my brain would just shut off so i could be in darkness and rest.

Does anyone know what this could mean",0.8881818181818169,3.091094995671,2.7763705627705626,91.61484155844157,83.89177489177489,5.7739220779220775,19.196709956709963,7.087006719466742,0.33352107359307315,868,23,186,12,25,289,117,231,0.086,0.7809999999999999,0.133,0.8973,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,11,12,0,1,7,1,24,3,3,1,0,58,48,26,0,7,12,0,13,6,0,1,0,1,0,3,20,12,0,0,21,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,9,15,31,9,15,33,4,21,0,1,1,0,4,10,0,6,13,131,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348804149008422,0.0,0.07471898070907845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534959078314077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085605938339046,0.0,0.101360546780302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21748433698502267,0.0,0.0,0.058557169628814215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945790254301889,0.0,0.10641452736143728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881782302643335,0.0,0.0,0.5050119179970756,0.19459823218508931,0.08718027609056836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160257042588815,0.0761570170098858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133713339580567,0.0,0.09318489732903024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615474542164932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455209805934736,0.14970054495228394,0.0,0.10242404843751413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661557674105059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624741438664732,0.10157968674194613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978111832674054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833601024926104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674694447816355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26136926077952216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667692231849815,0.06294786966308205,0.2378438169328885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127702362092367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066959026238854,0.17450248550257735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090459306764027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398014039240957,0.08980149947060563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892085300571752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164585150147527,0.0,0.0,0.0945238736093908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207119060511374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044131675574076,0.0,0.09846650932077763,0.13220398568598024,0.0,0.0,0.06450026231101202,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clamtunashiny,2018/04/17,"I haven’t been ‘here’ for a while I’m not really sure what I’m hoping to get by posting. I haven’t felt very real recently, so maybe I’m just trying to prove my existence in a way that’s tangible to me. 

I always feel like my mind and my body are in different places and I don’t know how to make them join back together again. It’s exhausting. ",1.7132000000000005,2.9212791866666663,4.074333333333332,88.11550000000004,77.13333333333333,8.733333333333334,21.833333333333336,9.2995712137729,1.4847333333333332,269,7,63,7,6,94,55,75,0.069,0.821,0.11,0.4255,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,5,2,1,2,2,14,14,5,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,9,3,8,12,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022780530610092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186928320203524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700284676663341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539869787105014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291828680822693,0.17367015516561324,0.23341340626819104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700932632286469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414524106131272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360099204555928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876601576842892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227063930668534,0.0,0.2442258747489289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24546094607467656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539869787105014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328218858674237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27670017151011805,0.15573560660711852,0.0,0.24003118496908324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22911816931936285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650484355694659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005823434258137,0.0,0.192960871969108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,entropyhunter,2018/04/17,"Dating girl who has problems committing because she cannot let go from her ex I am dating a girl who has problems letting go of her ex. I cannot understand why and I'm hoping that someone could explain? 

Here's the background story:

We met through her sister and we spent so much time together and after meeting me, she had the courage to dump him because he was abusive. Her sister told me that I gave her the motivation to do it because she felt so happy to be in my company. 

She used to suffer from bulimia and healed herself.

We dated several times and I noticed that her ex BF would constantly try to call and text her. One night we were meant to go for a run but she was 1.5 hours late and when she came over told me that she had been on the phone to her ex BF. I comforted her as she was upset, where I hugged her, which led to going to going to bed with each other.

I felt that it was a love triangle and told her that I wasn't happy with the situation because I felt that she still loves him and we had a 1-on-1 chat. I told her that it upsets me that she doesn't want to commit because she still has feelings for her ex. I expressed that I feel like I am a rebound to get over her ex and she said it's not true.

She opened up to me that she has had problems with letting go with all her relationships regardless of how toxic or abusive they were and said it's due to her childhood because her dad - who is an alcoholic and suicidal.

I told her that we should be friends and that I want to help/support her. I told her to get help from someone who can help like a therapist. She was surprised and happy I said that and we hugged each other for 4 hours or more while talking. She asked me on my thoughts on starting a relationship with me and I said I would love that. It was a very beautiful conversation. 

I really care for this girl and just want her to get better regardless of what happens between us.",3.6128953107960733,4.5932216081424935,4.626422210105416,86.89256679389317,72.10432569974554,7.751690294438387,27.776172300981465,8.07648339933343,1.6169622682660851,1504,54,321,21,28,491,170,393,0.094,0.715,0.191,0.9942,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,8,0,1,2,9,25,1,2,14,0,35,7,0,4,4,68,80,26,1,13,5,9,5,2,3,3,2,4,1,3,30,33,1,0,10,1,1,9,5,7,0,1,33,9,78,18,43,38,5,36,0,1,0,5,97,9,0,3,20,237,108,1,0.0,0.17689192862389694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977627242762711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978603274315634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730292654756973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602030689395867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622420480028944,0.08537770629955896,0.07610886130266001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066823407932741,0.0,0.059600549825741575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548879167811473,0.053328721480054735,0.21502206618144126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057673049278075074,0.0,0.1170018817979822,0.0,0.25454590902467217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660111969405715,0.2383933361477512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501054362656042,0.0,0.0,0.07414255111361122,0.14702697009033627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842064723402305,0.0,0.0,0.2289986657030263,0.0,0.07293872421741694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211886799955564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548750495585448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005232156389762,0.0,0.0,0.08498752223420844,0.0,0.0,0.05058358304306704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142848683505557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782157752642365,0.0,0.0,0.16028855862015215,0.0,0.0,0.2840303028773048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433126960415419,0.0,0.0,0.08390775554851619,0.0,0.0,0.12649843229008156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052836412356930935,0.0,0.11922837052075062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165306464499049,0.08470994433899443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599994320844736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667236650508797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059262368614204815,0.08705598447909761,0.0,0.0,0.4279775851681141,0.0,0.05068125863542484,0.0,0.0,0.07771145614729806,0.08979264810581962,0.06447211655250963,0.0,0.061592620310446274,0.13208840774480232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735843074592454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106055943639903,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djdkfisiznskdjxjjskK,2018/04/17,"How can I be less stressed out about everything So I’m a youtuber and make YouTube videos but every time I have a really good video idea I get really nervous and stressed out because I feel like if I can’t do the video or if I do it something might mess up, or I just wouldn’t be able to do it or someone would do the idea before me and everyone else would think i copies them, does any1 have and ideas that can just calm me down a little?",7.6568085106382995,4.583018617021279,7.3835106382978735,83.98250000000002,64.95744680851064,11.102127659574473,34.138297872340424,8.841846274778883,2.40483829787234,346,10,82,4,4,110,60,94,0.112,0.7759999999999999,0.112,0.2349,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,3,5,0,15,0,0,2,0,25,20,12,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,11,3,6,14,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,6,2,55,14,0,0.17411488540514727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613881806703934,0.0,0.14815894331251134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523691095575516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545064482189027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669930046726734,0.16637423453410946,0.1564832320095248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803771762778928,0.12438770892323632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096784129731073,0.0,0.0,0.14603930505305196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5896635368571588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506373812638189,0.17450885679759384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622303803217872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847083782676783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308490811397036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475269773796219,0.1340421452685425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988960259176102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156578811668412,0.0,0.0,0.10152778987455914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473724379834105,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rick_HD,2018/04/17,"""Friend"" and I have some problems and I don't know what to do Hey Reddit,
So I'm from California(told me to give state I live in) and I have a ""friend"" who has anxiety and depression. We've we're having some disagreements to say the least a week before break.
     Basically the thing was about her self-infliction of pain, and I was just trying to support her as a friend. Then she was saying that I was judging her and she was just assuming that ""because [she] knows when people are judging [her]"". Then she went on to say how  ""people like me"" aren't friends with people like her. 

   After that I just forgave her because she said it was all her ""anxiety"" that was talking not her....

   But then while we were on a bus (we were on our way to a music festival with the school band) she obviously implies that she's mad at me and then goes on to start judging me for my personality (don't know if this is relevant but she also judged my music tastes). For the rest of the day she just gives side  remarks that are just rude and mean....This on the Friday before break.

    While I entered break, I was just done. I felt like all I was trying to do as a friend was just incarcerated. I started to think in my head of how she's a fuckin hypocrite and how she's just being a bitch. She never said sorry....

But am I overreacting? Is this actually because of her anxiety? Is she acting like a bitch because of her depression and such? I don't really know what to think... Is this just all my fault??? I have no idea what I should do, because I don't know if this is because of her medical condition or is it just cause she's a bitch?????? People say she is just a bitch but I don't want to believe it. I just wanna help. But I don't want to get treated like trash, I really don't need that..... 

Now she's asking if we're gonna talk now. Breaks over and I really just don't want to talk to her....


Please send positive or helpful advice.... Thank you for your time.",1.2216939546599477,3.3008751964735548,3.082765113350128,90.63820308564236,81.67002518891687,6.2873803526448375,20.504345088161205,7.461004344511776,0.5594977833753156,1491,42,330,23,40,498,161,397,0.127,0.765,0.108,-0.7805,0,0,0,0,0,0,80.0,3,2,0,0,23,26,7,0,17,0,42,5,1,4,5,67,67,35,0,10,24,0,1,5,5,2,2,6,0,1,19,15,1,0,10,1,0,4,12,12,0,0,17,8,63,14,40,47,7,36,0,2,0,1,57,10,5,8,21,240,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.08687274289478784,0.0,0.0,0.08699138072436019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119095340696112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043050235184728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832236606616106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256023311178488,0.0,0.15150252658752686,0.10029743906846446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145023463756233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741189972390522,0.0,0.15334923484823307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110053172455472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547519117712248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438913270871929,0.0,0.04651038096865235,0.17079624947208402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136237313294177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933929470012025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049513231426696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446211320747009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21745854416535776,0.0,0.07860815873130032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697118124052076,0.0,0.0896804155183169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600877046677303,0.06865934332430987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472580715758168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24686690315387136,0.07773067729798326,0.0,0.09771954971097456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518214160016818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108953972250032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693608349343615,0.28317583654875983,0.0,0.09009513330239972,0.0,0.0,0.09286948121333352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965296968052777,0.1260206227442087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102124143206503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465781243356027,0.0,0.08195960322881245,0.0,0.0,0.059142337720442875,0.1140835538004204,0.0,0.0,0.051909511302326905,0.0,0.0,0.08506444608549933,0.0,0.12088034538663615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752265018337666,0.0706616114513703,0.0714081711266894,0.0,0.0,0.08252439271618939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bloppitt,2018/04/17,"What is the point of my therapist saying things like ""and how did it make you feel when X happened?"" Like I ALREADY KNOW and it's a waste of my $. I am getting frustrated with CBT (if that is what this actually is) because my therapist keeps doing this weird thing where she'll say, for example:

Me: my friend texted me that she supported my choice to not go back in that abusive friendship. i was so relieved and happy to have her support because now I know I'm not out of line to leave the abusive relationship.

therapist: and how did that make you feel??

me: ... good? 

therapist: good! you must have been so relieved!

me: yeah...

i already know it makes me feel good. i am unsure how her asking me that does shit for me. especially cause then it's followed by some ""time wasting"" statements like ""you must have been like, WOW, relieved!!"" or ""you must have been like ""I feel validated!!""""

I just don't get it. I'm a 24 year old with two degrees. I'm not into this. Wtf is going on",0.3956338297059929,2.8430699226804137,2.053459335624286,93.13791332569684,92.04123711340206,5.142115311187476,21.618174875906835,6.775458762138228,0.6154351279114176,751,28,159,11,27,244,106,194,0.132,0.657,0.211,0.9534,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,5,0,0,10,19,2,0,4,1,22,1,1,7,3,34,45,13,0,4,6,0,4,5,1,4,0,2,0,0,17,8,0,1,8,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,6,6,29,16,15,35,1,16,0,0,0,0,14,6,1,3,12,108,46,0,0.0,0.2600085633805835,0.10707420632103218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24216499099185976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257656332165273,0.0,0.0,0.08437051839974619,0.0,0.13377272709095545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271615198737606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601968290743564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219177825495333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477202326428876,0.0,0.11465189107563176,0.0,0.12471666859869125,0.2760923353283717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702803636701426,0.11680259492048535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097527195499816,0.0,0.0,0.1809033261305427,0.0,0.0,0.11618123313876888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680265437506958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21972365574874256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513624622633233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372407458304413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117801864045989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451289632050954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262948882165595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24902561810449564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5095892769126362,0.1457906970672341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398059434983927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718381407378956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065826934721653
mentalhealth,SensitivePea,2018/04/17,"Irrational intrusive thoughts are slowly taking over my brain? I don't know when it started, but recently I've started to get intrusive thoughts such as imagining myself randomly screaming, or imagining myself killing someone. I'm scared. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but I've been mostly in isolation after school ended \(maybe that has something to do with it?\).

The intrusive thoughts wasn't that bad before, I could just shake them off and forget about them. However, recently I just can't stop thinking about it, the irrational thoughts just keep flooding my head. I could even feel a barely noticeable 'tingling' feeling in my brain.

I'm scared, someone tell me what's wrong with me? I have a great fear i'll end up acting out these irrational thoughts if I let myself go any longer without help.",7.679254287844891,8.417560355704701,6.94317673378076,74.77070842654737,62.89261744966443,10.38061148396719,38.70320656226697,10.25414643259724,4.191612378821775,659,33,109,14,9,203,94,149,0.276,0.647,0.076,-0.9876,1,1,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,9,9,1,4,4,0,13,4,3,0,0,33,32,8,1,4,10,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,2,12,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,7,3,17,1,15,21,1,18,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,5,9,70,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787249170191716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789141232425772,0.0,0.0,0.10995477619641827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884994570094068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633969567477825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288971208887785,0.0,0.0,0.08534709609893887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454058779287246,0.13067273999367945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675109339152019,0.0,0.07343741732385538,0.0,0.0,0.14246301037312345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261467669059102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661192480251648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485466115826595,0.14296027993896998,0.0,0.14202937699338758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321338900654591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981658408803873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711524914813842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551738511680956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587389923667218,0.13077524767124807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897153716188225,0.09947812635786918,0.0,0.0,0.18292195756837676,0.0,0.0,0.1080318134761521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715565629985827,0.0,0.11294199696797867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279750779318037,0.0,0.5129222440302127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456128658080662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127930962829513,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YaboiAriz,2018/04/17,"I'm scared and can't tell my family I'm kinda scared, and I'm also afraid of telling my family that I...don't even know to describe it, I always get angry for the dumbest of things, like hitting-punching myself angry, and when that happens or when I'm thinking too much about what people may think about me, I just start arguing with myself, like if I was another person, I tell me how illogical and dumb it is to get angry because I didn't nail a drawing first try or why is stupid to not draw something because ""Mom will think is stupid"" or ""Sister may think is ugly or immature"" and I don't even know why I am typing this, I just want to tell this but I'm scared my family will think I'm straight up crazy and other shit... just wanted to tell this, and maybe, just maybe someone can at least relate or in the best case, help me ",7.1610087719298265,5.165306584795321,7.4444956140350875,79.76042763157895,65.0233918128655,10.187426900584796,31.316520467836256,8.472884824447931,2.1605959064327482,650,17,137,7,8,213,95,171,0.16899999999999998,0.7390000000000001,0.092,-0.8689,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,13,12,5,4,3,0,14,1,1,1,0,33,33,18,0,3,12,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,7,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,2,0,16,3,14,27,3,8,0,0,0,0,10,4,2,9,6,87,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298546611562007,0.09675052103736352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219249879012854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176091707538596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202395151558415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359772702067065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288425468116573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890387108826246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214982872574459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282203044316812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793700893542868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278039351863636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361266072361813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336287133002808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618044677903615,0.0,0.0,0.0854758628503397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061078325170247,0.10152727157224836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34923614512680445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935511798480328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851984404746957,0.08951455172611164,0.0,0.0,0.08230038920159448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5081495098364771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724826788968198,0.3725231900469689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894342414365277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716459138038753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098410856872283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cookie007123,2018/04/17,"Am I depressed/something wrong with me? So I’m a sophomore in high school and I haven’t made any new friends since 8th grade. I found 3 other “friends” freshman year but they left me for another group of people. Right now I only have 2 friends and friend A never really cares about me or wants to hang out and Friend B hasn’t been coming to school a lot lately which often leaves me eating alone at lunch. I just feel really sad and alone because it’s been like this for almost 3 years. I have no idea why people don’t want to be around me I’m intelligent (have all A’s), caring, can have fun, and am also very happy whenever I have a chance to interact with others. I don’t think I’m  boring either because I’m often outgoing and I have hobbies like swimming, waterpolo, volunteer, and piano. But even outside of school like on swim or waterpolo team sure I have friends but we’re just acquaintances and we only talk during practice. It just bugs me so much that I always spend my weekends alone and I haven’t hung out with anyone no joke years. I try to become close with acquaintances but it never works out :( I hate seeing everyone on social media having fun at parties when I’ve never even been to one and I’m stuck at home watching TV. I cry myself to sleep a lot and I just keep having this ongoing cycle of sadness keep running through me. Sorry this was long I just really hope I can make friends soon",2.619304158738789,4.709457971731453,3.832385159010599,86.97298110899702,77.0565371024735,6.473987496602337,22.545392769774395,7.468242284971852,0.9408794237564556,1118,33,220,15,26,364,157,283,0.129,0.624,0.247,0.9915,0,3,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,1,2,17,23,1,0,6,0,23,3,1,2,5,55,44,21,0,3,12,0,1,3,7,0,0,0,1,0,10,22,2,2,4,6,1,5,10,5,0,1,7,3,29,18,28,36,5,32,0,2,2,0,14,14,0,8,16,139,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157725650929814,0.28415407332519793,0.0,0.07313516055575509,0.07609646093640332,0.0,0.0,0.06219137121239787,0.0958967453562196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394626465038758,0.0,0.0,0.08141281463388712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149814980706778,0.10100297034819906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648544223384014,0.0,0.0,0.07877890890476477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045714143064882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935795439173992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080806706596435,0.0,0.0,0.08738753485272259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046241529760278566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027380878398937,0.4945960786207424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735372455585567,0.0,0.09029118725904572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662541882694084,0.09173510348493856,0.09083374915953217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032396292666745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257576698287826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031632911368409,0.09683582609830907,0.0993642638911334,0.0,0.0,0.1340383696015997,0.0,0.0,0.08093328110909669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555006283777085,0.0,0.0865353113872775,0.06104577920473667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672286886794578,0.0,0.21160323850298854,0.08832615444559219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197111408648055,0.1391086915805852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680438829672294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576195230153774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810060738759393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776668266414396,0.07287642922509467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565110404102486,0.0,0.09151933344889172,0.09322510909085027,0.0,0.070405208319603,0.0,0.1023744673818422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619364067229053,0.0,0.0,0.07350668788458975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859957357411252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062090778707160274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754585395205035,0.1078830362660734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252236684949729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657908212393125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998981273377164,0.0,0.1766787552015919
mentalhealth,agent_soup,2018/04/17,"um i honestly hate talking abt mental health irl, so i've come to the internet as my conclusion.
i want to die,
though the thing is, i don't really consider myself ""suicidal"".
i just feel the need to jump of a bridge.
i'm not suffering, i have no hardships.
there are just these little things that build up and break me inside-out.
i can't make due with my actions, my voice, my choices, everything.
i just want to end it, not the pain, i want to end me.
except, its weird,
because there are people out there that want to die because of the actual pain they've gone through.
they just want to end the suffering.
but im not suffering
i'm 14, so i keep telling myself that its cause im going through puberty, hormonal changes.
yet, that only won't get rid of these thoughts.
i don't want to get professional help, because its not a matter of the trauma or suffering i've been through.
they probably won't know what the hell is wrong with me.

",2.395648926237161,4.3417728412698455,3.730009337068161,88.1220168067227,77.2010582010582,7.833302209772798,25.403361344537807,8.671277953709913,1.7930769374416435,733,27,155,16,17,240,102,189,0.124,0.73,0.146,-0.5926,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,2,1,11,12,2,0,10,0,11,3,0,2,0,31,31,7,3,7,11,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,13,5,0,1,4,0,0,5,10,11,1,0,3,2,21,1,21,26,0,14,1,4,0,0,5,3,1,1,5,95,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.12679165369010648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237609960455517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334725495439659,0.13744732033313392,0.11192205707436992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696909229538782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452347489238058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677152383039167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569584683246414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576475014526335,0.0,0.07384146564177214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827767678194288,0.0,0.13810811594548525,0.0,0.0,0.0870884584798061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806905503927518,0.0,0.0,0.11548658469720588,0.0,0.0,0.07140540710418425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022267541684146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672840585494174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093755448127387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634047327904684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988166194167834,0.2765065620452627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007619032514937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008509736008207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323564234168432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212089262713062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443175503626907,0.11356339714189588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263768940173804,0.0,0.12765427289383954,0.10314886236380304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598118269291296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205662001708536,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cherrypitofdespair,2018/04/17,"Anyone else prescribed Lamictal for depression/anxiety? TL;DR I'm currently taking Lamictal to treat my anxiety/depression because antidepressants didn't work in the past, I don't think it's working anymore and I'm concerned about the safety of it, considering switching meds, anyone else going through/went through this?

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder ~5 years ago. I tried multiple antidepressants (Zoloft, Lexapro, and Prozac I think) when I was first diagnosed but nothing worked. Then my doctor prescribed me Lamictal (an anti-convulsant) and it was the only thing that kept my thoughts from spiraling out of control, so I stayed on it. In 2016 I tried switching to Effexor, but I became worse and switched back (though I was also going through relationship problems at the time). 
Flash forward and not much has changed- I'm still on Lamictal, still in therapy, still not enjoying life. There are highs and lows but I'm always either depressed or anxious to some degree. I accepted it because I was too scared to switch meds and I don't want to risk getting worse for the possibility of becoming better. I can manage, but I'm not living. Now I'm wondering if I should switch medications (maybe to an antidepressant?).
I'm mainly confused as to why I was prescribed a medication used to treat bipolar for my anxiety/MDD and why it sort of worked... Has anyone else gotten the same prescription? Is it safe??
I realize that there's no magic pill that's going to make me feel better and I have to put in the work too, but if there's a possibility of exchanging my plastic hammer for a metal one then it would make things a lot easier to fix. And I realize most of y'all aren't psychiatrists, a lot of this is just me venting. Thanks for reading this far. :)
",5.6258811188811215,7.721603639393942,6.309090909090916,72.43594405594408,68.66666666666667,10.046620046620047,33.6013986013986,10.302915286807345,3.9849720279720287,1451,69,240,41,26,474,174,330,0.128,0.768,0.104,-0.7299,1,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,0,9,16,15,0,3,14,0,19,10,0,4,0,52,43,26,0,6,13,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,0,0,16,13,0,3,8,1,1,5,8,7,0,2,10,1,27,8,37,31,9,31,0,3,0,0,2,12,0,10,15,163,43,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803151567645811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039596429090639,0.07324635245258736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468236671255562,0.09944659017530942,0.08730012774461013,0.1846536848483599,0.27058528327924875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768810267749525,0.0,0.107322110359445,0.09722001619845748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570723490230115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312195784926372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873089347640633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274551767561762,0.1786931454592735,0.0,0.0,0.2017754416592169,0.09010039381834883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060830956636032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450960458724661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487657661149429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599099971465692,0.0,0.15008503260059544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300642101072057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217678366702053,0.0,0.0,0.07773034171054419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496765249342065,0.0,0.0,0.1175187546004241,0.0,0.08843596341371794,0.0,0.1955585395016133,0.1773579092931147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471071276305769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446524552111215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059650054791002716,0.06694926496808648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840326919410247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847669977198512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423091293678375,0.0,0.08849245914669225,0.0,0.0,0.0880518272487815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450913447474124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813139023565628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093826141492396,0.21089783699633088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618610500599123,0.0,0.0,0.08104436063962274,0.10066769614356667,0.0,0.11696379090329538,0.11280958317280818,0.08648706857934198,0.0698844036388684,0.05132983797966235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953047501226473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602793344186026,0.0,0.0,0.05192119844183101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160284312486192,0.15886316638382367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546261707189233,0.3204271825003037,0.0,0.17941611633998758,0.06253256954579042,0.0,0.0,0.056687149507936366
mentalhealth,insomniaSlug,2018/04/17,"Question about thoughts/psychology I am upset with something hurtful someone said, and at the same time, I want them to feel upset/angry/hurt while simultaneously feeling guilty of having thoughts of wanting the other person to feel upset/angry/hurt. I want it to stop and don't want to. It's a vicious circle it seems of wanting to be angry and guilty about anger. Not sure what this is called, and not sure how to deal with it.  


I confronted the issue, the apology already came. However, that changed nothing. It's perpetual anger/wrath/guilt.",4.3253465346534625,7.117820198019808,4.822267326732675,78.47854950495051,74.74257425742574,6.812277227722772,29.9019801980198,7.908726449838941,2.3596605940594046,444,20,73,7,10,141,64,101,0.275,0.6629999999999999,0.062,-0.9733,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,3,1,5,0,5,0,0,1,2,25,17,6,0,5,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,4,5,2,14,13,1,5,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,2,3,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333608175356408,0.0,0.0,0.1701906117836708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603910568462716,0.17965186492106044,0.0,0.0,0.1661644395201596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619373468952356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382653996002373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044558563918408,0.0,0.0,0.16394540866517934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507176234811008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715176276233146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595986032693495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494142201096618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299510918156408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308907123112207,0.1209239485312038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132166769533682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960825091535474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469994220536013,0.0915916498701346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4632342917589358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosecoloredbot,2018/04/17,"Just starting therapy Hi Reddit,

I've never posted here before but as of late I've really been struggling with my anxiety/depression. I had been dealing with it on my own for a while now, and it's gotten to the point where I decided to seek help. I went to my first therapy visit. I liked the lady, she was really kind and patient with me as I struggle to get myself to speak on things sometimes even when I really want to.

She asked me about religion, I don't really follow any. I don't feel one way or another about it but it's just not something I was raised into and have never really felt any desire to start. After I told her no she told me that it was a Christian practice (I honestly had no idea I was just searching for places online and found this one close to home) and then went on to say she is Christian but this has zero effect on me unless I want it to. 

I really don't mean to come off as an a**hole or judgemental but do any of you think this will this make a difference in anyway? I have zero experience with therapy and I wasn't sure if treatment within a Christian practice is any different. 

I guess I'm also kind of nervous because I had to fill out some forms online, I had put something on there that I know people within religion greatly frown upon. I don't open up to people about it so I decided to bite the bullet and put it on there so I could finally talk about it.

Any replies are appreciated.",4.037577319587626,4.876883024054983,5.736733676975947,79.8481932989691,70.99312714776633,8.98151202749141,27.264776632302407,9.255337874911486,2.24160879725086,1124,37,222,23,20,386,149,291,0.063,0.8220000000000001,0.115,0.9539,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,18,9,0,3,8,0,24,0,0,2,3,48,46,24,0,5,12,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,16,16,0,0,10,0,0,8,10,3,0,5,18,4,37,6,46,26,3,41,3,0,0,0,16,19,0,5,13,174,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871508780154543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346816502679558,0.10321329266574322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201952555258434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060002511685759666,0.0,0.08375737443998788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478943211755262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785889969963329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147784896639203,0.08477831738237525,0.0,0.0,0.2056785050768976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501262548663447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628422520642337,0.0,0.0,0.049769577963573286,0.0,0.09450901914319901,0.10782614740529207,0.0,0.08372520160242028,0.0,0.10792430894589712,0.0,0.0,0.05142603865272599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852032186718476,0.10843264074841066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659761009716716,0.0,0.09873413376587674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111164099534584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500109534494199,0.05409500215371666,0.0,0.11103424752232686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048088324647998434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570333384790082,0.0,0.0,0.10722001434554176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183182636351786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339853633760967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647906810553054,0.0,0.1028392525384488,0.0,0.09304893654492156,0.0,0.09426951270792816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979003132259492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378343806247319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827613541635807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155370173389318,0.09735059365651193,0.0,0.1393396760317282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580252050833694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276987897335393,0.0,0.0,0.07911496121520396,0.0,0.0,0.33769264845813457,0.0,0.06539306026484686,0.06307049227714334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881097252380716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611409078000627,0.07812979997328467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824927046921354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Encryption08,2018/04/17,"Is There Something Wrong With Me? I just feel the need to vent. I'm a 16 year old Junior in highschool and I feel lost in life. I have a small friend group but I always feel excluded I've always thought I've had anxiety problems. I dread public speaking and talking to random people, in middle school I got depression and it was horrible, I always feel my closest friends always go away eventually and that they don't like me anymore. The past year I engaged in self harm by cutting myself, it made me feel good and it was an escape for me and then I experimented with substances, mainly weed and alcohol but I've also tried pills and LSD once. I feel like a fuck up who will live a life full of regret and misery. I really don't understand. Anxiety problems, self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts. It's almost a off on thing it comes and goes but I hate it, please help.",2.0443078795254053,4.57109267630058,3.4442896257986035,86.5862214785519,81.77456647398844,6.416671737146332,23.556130209917857,7.669130373188453,1.33104161849711,695,25,134,12,19,227,107,173,0.344,0.546,0.11,-0.9953,0,0,2,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,1,3,19,3,1,8,0,8,5,0,1,0,34,26,16,1,4,4,0,6,2,2,1,4,1,0,2,9,14,1,0,9,0,0,2,2,13,0,0,8,7,19,6,15,17,2,19,0,4,0,1,11,12,1,2,7,79,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284440779391054,0.12035059990832417,0.0,0.0,0.09611404384431466,0.4000231093914297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388649164280044,0.0,0.11919388263488324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292028119239372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353104371333743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070349444182887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756661272280698,0.0,0.0,0.3646230118345878,0.08586210222332817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571340603007613,0.11111157298550144,0.0,0.0,0.06830542796524322,0.10080772326811907,0.09612506662039506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186604509380303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055926809680412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697842247539879,0.1174352585433212,0.0,0.10612792290659608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119904972449206,0.0,0.0,0.11372448832483925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911764142959724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261167518530683,0.1279959561270594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473273956727048,0.08332300389982304,0.0,0.0,0.1319299803681083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000675509173985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699530504571145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163634813099013,0.0,0.0,0.2507639232786084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252634748972234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314658140832856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660230412434444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984735375326613,0.0,0.0,0.19083118479982672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159954502920727,0.0,0.0,0.12511961296763008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140636011528228,0.0,0.15479385013321945
mentalhealth,some-randomchick,2018/04/17,"Need some advice Hey all, I need some advice as I really don’t know where to start. 

I have a history of mental illness in my family on my dads side. I have been dealing with mania and depression for the last 3 years now, while having increased anxiety at all times. I have gone to the hospital for help when I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore and they gave me a referral for therapy. I went for 3 months bi weekly and it helped but I had to stop as my sessions ran out. 

I have been taking paroxetine daily and feel slightly better with it in the anxiety side, but I constantly feel as if I am going to explode or lose control of myself. 

I don’t really know how to flyer help but I want it. I want to function normally and actually feel things properly. I feel as if I have because numb to spot of things when I’m on my meds. Not that I have stopped taking them. I don’t know where to even start. I want to go to the hospital and have them take me for inpatient, but I don’t even think my case is bad enough... 

Does anyone have any advice on where to look for treatment? Where to start and how to get it under control?",2.689561278016214,3.9439980729613744,4.448891273247497,86.22171077730091,74.70815450643777,8.096232713400099,24.532427277062467,8.680891452615391,1.5656201239866476,873,27,188,17,18,296,117,233,0.098,0.82,0.08199999999999999,-0.7718,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,3,4,11,6,0,0,6,0,20,3,0,4,2,44,49,23,0,9,8,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,10,0,4,9,0,0,6,6,4,0,0,8,6,32,2,36,40,6,35,0,2,1,1,10,14,0,5,16,134,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.11398447311319987,0.0,0.0,0.3424204082953234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943115624297911,0.0,0.17871044997651944,0.0,0.11583881018028233,0.0816725156493617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975269901151195,0.07120302049525128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330420638277868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622431330484624,0.2620126573422847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042044835737856,0.1006036597558434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221652198743164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069041034550256,0.0,0.15429671775135198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101130132027838,0.0,0.2362397293192877,0.0,0.1121507656593042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102560011748071,0.0,0.13276553006644173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487505127877506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257831574853276,0.09521136608289096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057064843942297036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980864742171866,0.13067450751941362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974361619911393,0.0,0.1177115979160345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932323441505935,0.0,0.0,0.1732183115621803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444374094659356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965607846308815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24802476253615197,0.0,0.0,0.19530780769357411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634676438317562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357627813529654,0.0,0.15519961679837946,0.07484369284029195,0.0,0.0,0.06810972116450148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668319758583736,0.0,0.09369363151927426,0.0,0.0,0.10827906555378262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521835444183005
mentalhealth,NeonBird,2018/04/17,"Worst combination ever: MDD, GAD, Dyscalculia, and most likely undiagnosed ADHD. It's damn near impossible to function like an adult. I do not even know where to begin other than I've been officially diagnosed as MDD/GAD. Dyscalculia is evident given my life long struggles with learning math concepts and understanding numbers (I have to whip out my calculator just to do basic math because I can't do it in my head and it makes me feel incredibly stupid). I spent my life in remedial math class. I had to get a private tutor just to pass college algebra with a B. I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know my multiplication tables. I've tried memorizing them for years to no avail. It doesn't stick no matter what.

I have always struggled with impulsive behaviors, I struggle to stay on task, and it's normal for me to zone out in the middle of a conversation because my mind goes elsewhere. 

I've tried reminders, calendars, emailing myself, sticky notes, etc. and nothing really sticks long enough to become an actual habit. I have difficulty budgeting and I'm not typically an impulse spender (IE - I don't make huge purchases on a whim), but I also catch myself feeling exhausted at the end of the day, no planned meals, and I end up going to Taco Bell. I also find that I have difficulty saying ""no,"" in any given situation whether it's a meeting, my daughter wants something, etc. I just know that I'm somehow stupid and cannot function like other normal adults. 

I have two college degrees and I still cannot manage to get my shit together. 

The predicament I'm currently in is I have $15 left in the bank to get me through the remainder of the month. This is due to unexpected expenses, overspending on stuff for kid specifically for track, and not getting it through my damn skull that I have to budget for the tightest month considering that in my current pay schedule, my monthly income can swing wildly with almost a $300 difference. This month's paycheck was a smaller month, which means that I probably should have told the kid that maybe we cannot afford to participate in track, but they are more than welcome to do running on their own and we can enter them in a 5K race when we can afford it. Maybe I should have just have withdrawn $100 at most and told the kid they can use the $100 to purchase needs for track, but once it's gone, it's gone and they have to stay within budget. 

I'm seriously considering cutting up my debit card and make it to where I have to physically go to the bank and withdraw cash and use that as my mode of spending. This would force me to physically see where my money is going and it would drastically reduce opportunities for me overspend. 

It also doesn't help that my MDD and my GAD serve as reminders that I'm failing at adulthood no matter what and that I'm just too stupid to get it, ever. Between everything I wish I had someone who would absolutely control my money for me because I will inevitably fuck it up and end up in this same damn predicament over and over again. I need someone to just simply say ok, you're bills are paid for the month, I've put XX back for saving, and XX back for emergencies, and here is your allowance for the remainder of the month: $100. Make it last because you're not getting a dime more beyond that. What throws everything off are the pending transactions. I know my online statement says XYZ, but it doesn't help that if I see $60 pending transaction that it just doesn't click that that's actually $60 less than what I actually have. I also avoid having holds placed on my account by NOT paying at the pump and paying inside instead. I've overdrawn as a result of a hold that had not yet cleared the bank and I was slapped with fees on top of that. Never again will I pay at the pump. 

I also have a corporate credit card and made it a personal rule that it NEVER LEAVES WORK for any reason. Ever. It stays in a locked drawer in my desk that requires a key to open. I also run any potential purchases by my boss first before I even buy anything because I feel like I will totally fuck up everything. 

This is just the worst and I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to live independently and that I should probably be in some group home for the cognitively challenged because I really feel that stupid. ",6.245101796407184,6.552496031137725,6.8070718562874255,76.00378143712575,65.93413173652695,9.79377245508982,32.74790419161677,9.642632912329526,2.982928622754492,3426,134,644,65,50,1124,351,835,0.116,0.8420000000000001,0.042,-0.9949,6,1,1,0,0,0,81.0,3,1,6,9,35,32,11,5,39,1,60,10,3,14,7,123,112,45,0,14,20,1,5,5,0,10,4,3,1,6,57,39,1,5,17,0,28,14,24,21,0,2,15,11,80,11,103,85,14,96,0,1,3,2,33,46,6,6,38,436,137,20,0.0,0.0,0.18077592481144525,0.0,0.0742109449144721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183324259831203,0.0,0.0,0.2962864993439513,0.05138056226303152,0.0,0.0,0.12597540995260426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081460836711748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949631662911472,0.0,0.22585167133446585,0.06819751329912573,0.05254430876418191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925735752961762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03982334359405314,0.0,0.0,0.06267448124594514,0.0,0.06451512448410883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407528728530166,0.06380377943936656,0.1377341152321414,0.12235496241303878,0.16756797702894816,0.0,0.0,0.16648950934637066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611210887793187,0.08822776456154424,0.0,0.0,0.056437959038951414,0.052524125472593865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141729057125766,0.1935695099007914,0.0,0.10528105638128073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337284072358064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277882738543149,0.0,0.06193982135716785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357437247654195,0.0503341150658366,0.0,0.06538384480579794,0.06709105370676098,0.0,0.08723104967134893,0.1508385258701654,0.0,0.05452597335233248,0.10929279595939956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842890589091543,0.16487318441500684,0.0,0.1240714212331867,0.06726334937240394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234943055897741,0.0,0.34501524471077244,0.0,0.0,0.09157299999340564,0.09525010087786953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100287313083215,0.05925034709911271,0.0,0.0,0.06576124267628149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391731478530309,0.06451512448410883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315289185340756,0.0,0.0,0.06207534102040849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911667045198041,0.06348880942845543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731713317246964,0.0,0.0,0.0984127740825358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338501338573023,0.0,0.06940906790903338,0.0,0.0,0.10464036631431264,0.04753781115695134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19745037439115914,0.0493132608068225,0.0,0.0,0.193662073119036,0.07068844755514818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800865954240967,0.0,0.08384776590305769,0.0,0.0603203260609532,0.06428344676576284,0.0,0.1066635494366144,0.0,0.0,0.036421477383990576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710089212600197,0.0,0.0,0.044954399092792086,0.0,0.0,0.13159530032957995,0.0,0.0,0.03976467792975287
mentalhealth,Dominatto,2018/04/17,"Urged to do something knowing I won’t enjoy it, followed by an existential crisis of why I even enjoy anything? So my specific case is that I have an urge to play a certain video game, that is Skyrim, to play a certain role that is seemingly only available in this game. But I know for a fact that playing Skyrim bored me to death. And now I’m looking for other ways to play that role, but I also KNOW that it’s impossible to find it elsewhere. And now I’m left with this void. Trying desperately to fill it.  And right now I feel like this is what I NEED, and that whatever other activity that doesn’t fulfill this will not be enough for me. 

I know this sounds a bit ridiculous but I’d like to get some insight on what to do in cases like this. I don’t think this is an addiction because I haven’t played Skyrim in years. But clearly there’s something behind that feeling that goes deeper than just wanting to play a video game?

And that feeling makes me feel like I have to enjoy things for a specific reason, which makes me anxious. ",5.7822916666666675,5.644150850961541,6.090192307692307,82.27147435897437,66.93269230769229,8.664102564102564,31.275641025641022,8.07648339933343,2.058998717948717,819,29,166,9,12,263,105,208,0.071,0.71,0.219,0.9815,1,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,17,1,0,9,0,15,1,0,3,4,34,34,11,1,2,6,0,4,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,28,6,0,0,13,11,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,6,16,15,24,31,3,13,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,2,8,112,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815845430022272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320498315615825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881752953123572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707190303877434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153877460671372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818499531310958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211006342183302,0.0,0.11001709995824643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368886946320207,0.23799352150736303,0.0,0.0,0.15224083580853745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702530612421949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661673537802597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18097745321625533,0.0,0.0,0.32550834426529024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987581324826492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223718914111721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350863048457865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668305352758893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712604349353982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422488172924579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163795000795122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564655500050185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066088769499596,0.10673054043474677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308925924261468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824657469441136,0.1322145344698589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503024045159985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726482507109733
mentalhealth,carolinemathildes,2018/04/17,"Do you think this is a specific illness, or just a symptom of depression or anxiety? I feel as though I'm only attracted to celebrities. Sure, I know people who are good looking, and yeah I've had pretty big crushes on people I know, but any time I've tried to go out with someone, I just can't. I find reasons to avoid seeing them again, I get too nervous and anxious at the thought of being with them, and I cut it off right away. But when I think about celebrities, whether they be actors or athletes or whatever, I think, ""oh yeah, they'd be great to date, that'd be so much fun, I bet he's so nice."" When I tried researching this, all that came up was Celebrity Worship Syndrome, but that largely seems to be referring to stalkers. I'm not a stalker. I've never stalked anyone, celebrity or not, and I honestly don't think I'd be capable of that.

But, within the Wikipedia article for CWS, it states *""Evidence indicates that poor mental health is correlated with celebrity worship. Researchers have examined the relationship between celebrity worship and mental health in United Kingdom adult samples. One study found evidence to suggest that the intense-personal celebrity worship dimension was related to higher levels of depression and anxiety. Similarly, another study in 2004, found that the intense-personal celebrity worship dimension was not only related to higher levels of depression and anxiety, but also higher levels of stress, negative affect, and reports of illness.""*

I read a post on a different site about someone who was attracted exclusively to fictional characters, and someone suggested that it was just a manifestation of social anxiety, a way to explore romantic and sexual urges without actually having to interact with a real person. Which I feel like could explain me; that because of my anxiety (and/or possible asexuality, which idk, I'm still trying to figure out), my brain just focuses all of romantic/sexual energy onto people that I know I'll never actually have to talk to, meaning those feelings are safer to have.

Is anybody else familiar with this? Have you ever talked to anyone about it and tried to work through it? ",8.557818181818181,9.021276976623383,8.766428571428571,63.38107142857146,61.05194805194805,12.194805194805195,42.435064935064936,11.741389052700956,5.606740259740263,1736,96,258,50,22,572,198,385,0.128,0.727,0.145,0.8354,1,1,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,2,4,1,17,21,1,3,13,2,28,6,1,2,6,71,52,29,0,1,19,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,0,2,23,19,0,1,22,2,2,3,9,7,0,1,10,6,24,14,53,33,3,33,5,3,2,0,19,18,0,7,10,185,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.17759074665422347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276652117385142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187789424086649,0.09541337570657288,0.348044358361023,0.10279541565415788,0.0,0.12724788419993355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854902749243717,0.0,0.0,0.05546807046793862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157751614653486,0.0,0.10407096736308884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264995915882251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351146419009769,0.0,0.0,0.09506760211217306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601240303516381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230775803511366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802534494392962,0.06500492778750958,0.0,0.0,0.08316532715146119,0.0,0.0,0.19953675290014014,0.0,0.0,0.04753972885027282,0.0,0.05171302935055792,0.07632003645127296,0.0,0.10031934816423636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344115102176165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002098947823364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444542487526123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641062732996562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911730599609822,0.0,0.0,0.18339770315040807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688982099867798,0.0,0.1403577651567904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061658747325826414,0.13840751116760722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924784199174108,0.2383529383204654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025801629536024,0.0871454848631374,0.09257189635574486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101693849120893,0.10356917485709802,0.0,0.09355525423820092,0.0,0.09769169304165637,0.0,0.07770693956195603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250909398414168,0.08283598585105095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927552058824345,0.2312924788378448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266658004188735,0.0,0.1042313890333858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575917973476054,0.09457585528608924,0.0,0.14627235162206212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332168045496293,0.08939948717849998,0.07223773391462156,0.05305835042989752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711123509743715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722254640482428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771334428184029,0.0,0.0662434887992517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yuyai,2018/04/18,"Lack of motivation and ‘passive death wish’? I think I just need some advice and perhaps some other perspectives? I’ve been in this state of utter lack of motivation, or once in a blue moon I’ll have a surge of it. It’s difficult to study or do homework, and it feels like there’s really no point to anything. I know that it’ll surely pass and that I can get better, but it’s always this feeling of just ‘hey, what if I just gave up?’. I often  just consider myself to be extremely lazy, but it’s probably a bit more than that when it feels difficult to even get out of bed. It just feels like I have these two parts of me that’s constantly arguing and arguing, one side is shouting at me that logically, everything will turn out ok. That it’s ok to get upset and feel like giving up, and that it’s fine if I didn’t go to the most prestigious university with the highest grades. I just have to keep trying and moving forward and that’s enough, it’s enough for those around you and nobody will criticize you for it. Then there’s the other side that’s constantly shouting about how utterly useless and shameful I’d be if I didn’t achieve my and others expectations of me.The side of me that just keeps trying to drag me down and telling me it’s better to just give up. And I often have this thing where I’ve heard others describe as ‘passive death wish’, where although I’m not actively or even trying to attempt suicide, but it’s the thought that ‘you know, I wouldn’t mind if I died right now.’ Type of thinking where I believe that if I went to bed and never woke up, I’d be ok with it. 

I’m not great at explaining myself, but it just feels like the logical part of my brain vs the depressed? Negative?? Part of my brain is constantly at war. I don’t know if this is even considered depression, but it definitely feels wrong. I know I have so much good and privilege in life compared to so many others, and it makes me feel disgusting that I can’t just try my best and make use of what’s given to me. It sounds so ridiculous to me, how can I be so upset when my life is better than so many people’s? I know that as ridiculous as it sounds, I do have a right to be upset, and it’s these kind of arguments that’s constantly in my head. I don’t know how to get better or find the motivation to get better. I don’t have goals that I am passionate for, I’m just going down a road that’s been paved for me. A road I don’t want to go down, but at the same time it feels like there’s nothing better anyways. 

Another thing is that, I can’t tell if I’m feeling this way because of some sort of mental illness or just hormones/being a teenager? I’ve noticed that a few years ago, the logical part of my brain wasn’t as active as now in combating my negative thinkings, and I’m starting to think that it’s like how a lot of adults say that it’s just a phase or being a teen. Or maybe it’s a sign I’m getting better? I honestly don’t know AGDJKF I used to be far more depressed actually, but now it feels more empty? Than anything else.

It’s just rambling to be honest, maybe you see my perspectives to be ridiculous too, or maybe you can relate. Either ways, it’d be nice if I can get some advice? How do I get out of being stuck in this state? Thanks for reading this far!",4.6013741032998565,4.559813545588238,5.645645624103303,84.12644189383072,69.42647058823529,9.045911047345767,28.497130559540892,8.841846274778883,1.9263967001434719,2561,81,558,41,41,851,244,680,0.18,0.674,0.146,-0.9886,0,0,1,0,0,2,63.0,0,5,0,14,43,46,7,4,21,3,48,8,4,12,2,131,111,62,5,16,41,0,11,6,0,4,3,6,3,1,68,26,0,2,31,1,0,7,17,18,0,2,12,19,56,28,77,83,23,58,0,4,2,1,17,34,0,25,21,384,124,9,0.0,0.0,0.0571239232543139,0.0,0.0,0.11440386916995338,0.05188975050322277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870769100263098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613814227822288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963423572554433,0.052110573475367086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035683771369515165,0.0,0.0,0.06595144830283628,0.06143124462395206,0.3624001565527255,0.0639075286876469,0.0,0.0,0.19604083025844385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530319363372839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512541730123695,0.0,0.06075243573546249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048900370758742,0.0,0.0,0.12096927853079226,0.0,0.11598992769568801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052609516253174914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255801816366277,0.20909515704193385,0.0,0.0,0.05350199664253728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446664253435565,0.11230855066685533,0.09980422433678976,0.04909827777792354,0.0,0.0645375376073441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060076118437964975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406121553189862,0.0,0.06095755003640292,0.2251938367908927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269319809067681,0.17159009522157526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976628652984478,0.0,0.0,0.07814815338138081,0.11869519102287407,0.17642564176544984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899179161727008,0.0,0.05910594715390506,0.0,0.0,0.06221584516359159,0.043031622685419935,0.043404637779450105,0.04514754488067145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616808129751947,0.06664506035387674,0.0,0.062340273191793666,0.03966636344015703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25356059974507805,0.0,0.04058236668914356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533663316020016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311306870583727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05855310264940291,0.0,0.037500468735671255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998100318835994,0.0,0.046551179965845235,0.0,0.0,0.04664661867833232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04143297507492958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640302632467383,0.0,0.05517067633101103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232829360658496,0.05389324578443349,0.0,0.0,0.07777911111002782,0.15003325449887694,0.0,0.046472047062664376,0.03413354800359332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897183265374834,0.06367173126111969,0.0571823988206685,0.0,0.0,0.10111479863933932,0.0,0.0,0.03452679356051206,0.09292830720132364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426462799543191,0.0,0.0,0.13462992395673826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400130626466001,0.0,0.03769607727346942
mentalhealth,mario454545,2018/04/18,"The day dad's mind snapped This just happened the day before yesterday.  I got a call from my mom and she said dad who is in his early seventies had been taken to the emergency room. Apparently he had been picked up by the sheriff's office for walking down the street with no clothes on.  We knew he had been struggling in his mind for a few years now but nothing this dramatic.  I visited him at the hospital expecting to find him maybe confused or embarrassed about it.  Nope!  There he was in a little square psych room still unclothed.  The nurse said since I was there, maybe I could get him to put some pants on.  I stood in that little room trying to convince him to put them on for over an hour!  He still completely believed he had done the right thing.  Yesterday I got an update and while they don't know what it is exactly, they confirmed that he is very sick.  The good news is that they have seen far worse get better.  Get better soon Dad.",4.103502304147464,5.554824634408604,4.246267281105993,88.28225806451616,71.47311827956989,7.894930875576037,26.1889400921659,8.418075326091056,1.5608875576036865,746,24,154,12,14,231,116,186,0.106,0.821,0.073,-0.6886,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,4,2,8,7,0,3,14,0,17,1,0,1,1,19,30,5,0,2,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,10,4,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,18,4,19,4,23,11,2,36,0,0,2,0,27,19,0,3,13,99,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106538976583782,0.16029499740816486,0.0,0.2516610266241197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527849487627376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917243815896025,0.0,0.0,0.11359486393027242,0.0,0.0,0.183510973020143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455965339922762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300366047121112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22299815826006494,0.0,0.0,0.11933336585754932,0.2275803355380538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581315031929466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011203512654993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781905183144909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851934860419243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858683523235622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873140132522272,0.16663054549024406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365165235593511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860509742058289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150191587418595,0.2706718621032457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769119839703035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724170440594174,0.0,0.0,0.14873652933083306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452106613748998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659526120712923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739162379760855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499019284288406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162031713242758
mentalhealth,JxR-44,2018/04/18,"Am I just making it up? I don't know what's going on inside my head anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I have a mental illness and other times I feel like I'm just faking it.
It's probably the latter.

I'm just tired of it.
The one thing I was sure about was my OCD that has been going on for about 2-3 years now. HOCD. But now I don't know what going on with it.

I searched up BPD, and I thought that I match most of the symptoms, but then I became unsure and thought that I probably just want to feel like I have a mental disorder to escape my feeling of being useless and getting bad grades, basically trying to justify it.

I might just be edgy and be perfectly fine, idk anymore.

TL;DR;
There's actually no point in reading this if you have better things to be doing. Probably gonna delete this soon, I don't even know why I posted this.",2.3950285714285715,3.772457617142855,4.1867142857142845,87.30978571428572,75.68571428571428,6.828571428571428,23.92857142857143,7.447530270364453,0.9845428571428564,653,20,139,8,14,221,99,175,0.138,0.7190000000000001,0.14300000000000002,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,0,2,12,10,0,0,5,0,17,4,1,1,2,29,35,9,0,2,8,0,4,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,17,6,0,0,9,1,0,3,4,3,0,1,5,4,20,7,17,24,1,17,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,3,9,98,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.12837623525956654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609294045360653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984081853624077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634747031490765,0.0,0.0,0.1656857323160706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507705292143504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688916655409205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660675286767382,0.281943335221019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873073659565566,0.0,0.22429290310326688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350107883826301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689339339992755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280967742978725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878122960753681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26514789907992103,0.13955638292256406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914335911794212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124359606839674,0.0,0.12599090298754667,0.0,0.4255074421304854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158807120849564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010875784580295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398664728554698,0.13673338816150496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747952328429552,0.0,0.0,0.20887593522420456,0.07670930389785664,0.15120021354178698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931549264195912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759305594522617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870564361746945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471547836232092
mentalhealth,DeviousShadows,2018/04/18,"When I feel like crying, I yawn? Hey everyone, this issue has been bugging me for a while now. I've been noticing that whenever I watch sad films, I'll occasionally start to tear up. However, when the tears are about to start falling, I just let out a yawn and... nothing. It gets frustrating because the piled-up emotions just get brushed away and I spend time trying to make myself cry on purpose instead of appreciating the film. 
Does anyone else have this issue? ",5.742758620689656,7.029787816091961,5.933965517241383,78.34508620689657,67.39080459770115,8.558620689655173,31.74137931034483,8.841846274778883,2.6018137931034486,368,15,67,6,6,117,67,87,0.146,0.767,0.087,-0.6546,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,1,0,5,0,6,2,0,1,0,7,12,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,7,1,10,9,0,12,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,8,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205320607658842,0.20815997816953707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19087417787308586,0.0,0.0,0.12384358756759475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463203313448412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778544650995132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971292875510866,0.22852606336056525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19412673382609555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272308464375224,0.1451365334842663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21228395086183968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4240895602850512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774341724462095,0.0,0.09925302253533357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560993282230466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19493614121224107,0.23129739517763065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875933837678172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846340448159708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379313433140559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GollyFuckWillikers,2018/04/18,"Can you be suicidal without being depressed? I dont fit the criteria for depression, i eat normally, sleep normally, dont have trouble concentrating, dont feel anxiety or guilt, but i do think about killing myself a lot. I think i might just be extremely lazy because I dont have good prospects for the future and id rather die than do hard work. 

I have a boring and negative personality, im not smart, im not funny, i dont have any interests or hobbies, i cant carry a conversation or connect with people. it turns out i was a huge bully to my sister as a kid and i didnt even know this until recently which has caused me to see myself in a whole new light. I caused her a lot of suffering and trauma. Meanwhile i have barely suffered at all in this life so i am a crybaby and extremely weak. I cant really name any redeeming qualities about myself. Each year i like myself and believe in myself less. Each year i know less about myself and have less of an idea of where im going. Im 24 and ive come to a full stop. No job, not in school, living at home again, i have one loyal friend who feels obligated to hang out with me, a boyfriend whos about to leave me. Im a user, a taker, a faker,  a loser, an ingrate, a liar. Im generally a poor excuse for a person. Killing myself just seems like itd be good riddance. 

I know im not depressed because when ive looked it up i dont fit the bill. Its more like im so lazy that death sounds ok to me and so much of a whiner that itd be not that bad of a loss for the world anyway.",1.5121340929009648,3.03103524846626,4.008382997370728,87.06167177914112,78.41717791411044,7.233829973707277,22.99255039439088,8.07648339933343,1.1521458369851003,1185,37,263,21,28,416,165,326,0.309,0.589,0.101,-0.9977,1,0,0,0,0,2,35.0,0,1,0,3,15,26,3,1,25,1,32,4,1,2,1,49,46,19,5,3,13,1,3,3,1,1,2,1,1,3,12,16,1,1,9,0,2,3,17,16,0,1,2,7,36,10,34,36,12,27,0,7,2,0,12,15,0,7,12,179,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785407181935722,0.0,0.055039942870080336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007348719599045,0.08771753819098331,0.0,0.0,0.08106063993836904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782061458567403,0.0,0.061976740981397535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859058500342923,0.0,0.07467055607207103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059343837504324,0.0,0.0,0.07362065856404848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047520906198776525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275803517413358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055586765328901874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040889646861350284,0.12069296183687075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445118205973152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216960512185848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812204161117697,0.6217285847796029,0.0,0.07139718420749505,0.0,0.15919937206194154,0.0,0.11862204474565632,0.0,0.0,0.07618243252226059,0.0,0.0,0.0508189261060724,0.10545032204507628,0.0,0.0635313095759749,0.0,0.060418111396965124,0.0,0.0,0.12233505517397306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632534693695224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052889981376141655,0.0,0.0,0.06948772548468603,0.0,0.0,0.14098732255145452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875375578899571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987961142157445,0.12564425379428273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04609166397292877,0.0,0.07103986661527664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281511102033163,0.057333157319974785,0.06549866158294862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199985507299975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601516619702281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869931969302371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220261218427353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825864957977363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032725554265982,0.0,0.06935520347105315,0.0,0.052378924574373084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266417116187063
mentalhealth,Nataliez32,2018/04/18,"I enjoy hurting people’s(that I love) feelings I love to hurt people that I really love emotionally and mentally. I enjoy playing with their feelings and emotions. I currently have a nice boyfriend whom I genuinely love, but I just enjoy doing things that will hurt his feelings (cheating, controlling him, playing with his mind, saying things that I shouldn’t have, etc.). I also like to hurt my family’s feeling. I somehow enjoy seeing my loved ones suffer and I am really satisfied with it. I do feel bad sometimes but I don’t know how to stop myself. I think I am suffering with some kind of mental illness. I do feel fucked up. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with me?",3.377582417582417,6.065908650793652,4.391587301587304,80.84016483516486,77.57142857142857,7.051526251526253,26.35897435897436,8.139509932561175,2.1072205128205126,534,21,90,10,13,173,76,126,0.267,0.484,0.249,-0.8364,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,4,24,2,0,1,0,11,7,0,2,0,26,26,7,0,1,3,0,6,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,8,0,2,8,2,0,0,2,10,0,1,0,8,26,14,10,24,2,3,0,6,1,6,12,1,1,2,3,68,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209313540108137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052230916143269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615350264645628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916134657405315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590782261604626,0.0,0.0,0.128433457665212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856227485238197,0.0,0.3493690937988671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064632464341599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931231747030755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992106061400518,0.0632887353238296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626119104617616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196804289521919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321076950775977,0.0,0.11627842436349164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803516334897848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983720560754595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754844909673834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915795807246818,0.0,0.0,0.0917673361646273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389584453730085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627862903269424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065461532488387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301391693660488,0.07378965770495884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590900591241522,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrReeRee,2018/04/18,"New Art Sub Reddit! Hi everyone! This morning I created the sub reddit r/Manicart. For all you artists, writers, poets, song writers to post to... if you want to. I love seeing everyone's creativity, and I think a one stop subreddit would be sick. ",2.7267391304347797,5.397351239130436,4.671913043478263,77.95352173913045,80.08695652173913,8.027826086956521,30.93913043478261,8.841846274778883,3.24019652173913,191,10,33,5,5,65,37,46,0.11,0.6779999999999999,0.213,0.6351,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,6,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,1,4,4,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6242216802909643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29479810105389165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154631872531248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22133427284429646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31282313313827353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260283386990844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730789484235264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092925744067197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265599575040904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320299764685306,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kivars,2018/04/18,"I have a hard time staying happy To start it all im generally a super happy and out going guy. Loving college, sports, friends, a great relationship. But in late January i got hit in a pretty bad car crash, i suffered a really bad concussion from the collision and i just haven't felt the same since, constant low mood, bad anxiety and a real back lack of motivation. 

Any suggestions are welcome.
",4.539200000000001,6.449189786666667,6.277000000000001,72.32350000000002,71.13333333333333,9.8,31.16666666666667,10.125756701596842,3.6036666666666672,314,14,54,9,6,108,58,75,0.26,0.434,0.306,0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,13,0,0,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,13,9,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,2,2,4,7,6,6,3,12,0,2,0,1,6,4,0,0,5,31,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264918038940388,0.0,0.14229559445852466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430286539116176,0.4659266775727426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100854425907444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859682934675794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370930280893032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571262076105592,0.0,0.14876757259238224,0.20507445300857885,0.0,0.1841771428894636,0.0,0.3960179039248671,0.16662661308337787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092053595490436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982510173281926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787946287064445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923698525275146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117178019099314,0.11916147406060873,0.0,0.0,0.19970295741157704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386772200348608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165740458995076,0.19825975597688245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846274812447147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mtolen38,2018/04/18,"Do you guys think that I should see a therapist? Let me explain a little bit.. I walk into a restaurant and I dont admire the paint on the wall, worry about how dirty a table is, or think that the floors should be swept. I identify all exits and fire hazards, who has a weapon or what around that person could be used as a weapon, or what I need to do if anything goes sideways. I always feel that I need to be prepared for any situation that could be harmful to me or the people around me.

 I even do it in my own home. I know that there are 4 exits to my house, 3 windows without screens that I can get out of, 12 windows WITH screens that can be easily removed, 9 of those windows are downstairs, the other 5 are upstairs. I also know that their are 8 guns in my house, I know that 4 of them are loaded and which caliber each of them take. I know where extra ammunition is and that the closest usable firearm to me is in the next room with a magazine already in it and that it holds 17 9mm rounds. I have familiarized myself to use a wide range of firearms and put in time to use them whether its shotguns, rifles, or pistols. I have studied judo and kickboxing in case I ever need to defend myself. All of this wouldn't be a problem if it didn't affect my personal life but unfortunately, it does. 

Today I took my girlfriend out to get ice cream after school and she wanted to sit towards the back but I told her we should sit up front. She asked why and I told her that I like sitting up front better. But in reality, I wanted to be closest to the exit nearest to my truck. One time, a few friends and I were in a movie theater and when we had walked into the theater, I was in between all of them. I told the two friends behind me to walk in front of me. (I didnt want to be stuck in the middle of the aisle) When we sat down, I had already counted the 12 people in the theater and identified the 3 exits. I told my friend sitting next to me ""the guy 3 rows back and 4 seats to the right of your seat has a pocket knife in his right pocket, and due to the fact that he has a pretty good build and a military ball chain necklace on, although I cant see whats hanging off of it, he is probably ex-military."" That friend still thinks I'm weird to this day.

Considering that I'm only 16 years old and I have had no traumatic experiences in my life relating to being assaulted, mugged, or robbed, I have no idea why I have this mindset and habit of preparedness. I have considered asking my parents to take me to counseling so I can talk about it but my family isn't really the ""talk to someone else about your problems"" kind of family. I'm really starting to think I have a serious issue. What do you guys think I should do?",4.61872723466611,4.6103637971530285,5.700954574000419,83.63024492359222,69.39145907473309,8.604647268159935,29.162863722001266,8.313332769828598,1.8555503872723471,2122,71,453,28,34,707,258,562,0.07400000000000001,0.858,0.068,0.5391,1,0,0,6,0,0,54.0,3,4,5,1,17,17,3,0,35,0,54,2,0,5,5,81,93,37,0,17,14,1,3,1,5,5,2,1,5,5,35,29,0,1,12,1,0,10,9,8,0,2,14,9,72,9,75,62,8,74,0,0,6,0,40,43,0,8,18,325,107,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661514870507028,0.06399451198978348,0.06658570029476125,0.0,0.0,0.05441850979022275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585226269045738,0.1424752007822134,0.149621750943494,0.0,0.0,0.12306577918189615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077400395904887,0.08736459200138763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778400306753246,0.0,0.0,0.051608334056647824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002882830359444,0.0,0.09378657662864498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684910256715768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285455885764825,0.07238555208439809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827803000022186,0.15087747353636852,0.0,0.04046212667317667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473028563464867,0.0,0.08361762246765428,0.0,0.0,0.06711965075357736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377066025999935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026977906714898,0.0,0.0,0.18467202232998114,0.0,0.09033643520738957,0.0,0.08352341427701276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333183269162961,0.17591459836219192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182912821613457,0.1130454840116258,0.03909528597635023,0.08020425403562109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800853272406347,0.0,0.0,0.1702111298007706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397087112104827,0.0,0.05422578105101932,0.06086123803919324,0.0,0.0,0.08885627663829172,0.0,0.0,0.1109560009925108,0.13974631669515988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141234781722018,0.08627852790850955,0.15314276101306926,0.0,0.08044540329707454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025298026141947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667872519578286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098773527280496,0.12753623533136382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994941257882891,0.0,0.0,0.06780338481379397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664082209338466,0.0,0.06390661876822261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033495195434417,0.12863920946952748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291308536362697,0.0,0.2563781281936112,0.0,0.0,0.09332432519707592,0.0,0.0758526223449162,0.3058623296588968,0.08890870277096873,0.0,0.0,0.0781710237465963,0.0,0.0,0.2073430152088457,0.0,0.0,0.14159924320997894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444169549815776,0.0,0.0,0.07713949453344655,0.0,0.0,0.08126742860356752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153230736155847
mentalhealth,nomnom278,2018/04/18,"So dark inside - everyone is like this right? I get super fucked up flashes of thoughts sometimes, sometimes they’re not flashes sometimes they’re longer and deeper.

I really don’t want to give examples but I’m just wondering if like everyone gets that or if it’s something that is like not actually normal and I need to stop kidding myself it is",2.289848484848488,5.198477984848483,3.5396969696969687,82.74621212121214,87.33333333333331,6.56969696969697,27.03030303030303,7.793537801064563,2.2867393939393943,281,13,48,6,9,91,47,66,0.08,0.7240000000000001,0.197,0.726,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,15,13,7,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,4,12,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,4,4,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.19707900671178724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38595342986515535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670419920160092,0.2110263674807664,0.19373369640707225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29599512429580244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497471184214041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787308020221792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937758313185188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246851823086212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547487222930262,0.599216156531849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884347355398235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032975946346056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191183271771304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901164832114708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ev55375,2018/04/18,"An odd feeling relating to suicide... I'll try to be straightforward here- I'm almost 23 now, & my older brother passed away suddenly when I was 18 (he was 23 at the time). It was a terrible time, but we got through it. I went off to college hardly a week after he passed because of the way timing worked out & no one really pushed therapy on me so I figured I should just go on with my life. I hardly made any friends that year..& in about a month I'll be graduating from the same school with my Master's. Add a couple failed relationships, experimentation with substances, overbooking myself with more & more responsibilities every year, & general instability in between then & now. 

This is the current state of mind I am in: I feel as though my life would've still been just as depressing as it has been even if my brother hadn't died. It's just an excuse to justify the feelings I'm having. I think about killing myself multiple times each day, I know exactly how I'd do it. HOWEVER after you see what an immediate death does to your family there is NO WAY I could ever do that to them again. I feel like the universe knew I would want to kill myself & chose my brother instead of me so I would have to stay. I know how selfish that sounds but it's how I feel. I feel like I'm in a fog all the time because I just feel like I'm not supposed to be here, like all of this hard work that I've put into my life still doesn't matter because, ultimately, I have no vision of my future. I don't want to be here, but I have to for them. Life is all about perspective but over this past year or two I have become a shell of myself. I stopped using social media because I have too much anxiety to post anything. I can't take as many things seriously & I use humor to mask everything. I have slowly cut ties with my hometown friends who all went off & had their own college experiences & friends freshman year...they seemed to forget about me. I feel like I am doing too ""well"" in life to have depression. I have a job & classes that don't allow for me to just stay in bed & be sad. I am truly miserable & feel trapped here. I'm only in this town for another month & a half & have been advised that I should wait to seek a therapist until after I graduate. I keep thinking I don't have any problems, but then I'll be watching tv & someone will say they've attempted suicide & I find myself thinking ""well aren't you lucky you can"". It's a terrible thought to have found in myself..

Does anyone have any sort of similar mindset or advice? I've been ""just sucking it up & sticking through it"" for 5 years now... so any insight besides that will be duly noted...
To anyone who has read this far, you are wonderful & thanks for taking the time.",4.096398330351821,5.0548156940966,5.219677996422185,83.16931425163982,70.9499105545617,8.237805605247466,28.286821705426355,8.5409612609427,1.9338589147286829,2179,78,446,35,39,721,259,559,0.154,0.7440000000000001,0.102,-0.9878,3,1,0,0,0,4,100.0,1,5,3,5,37,27,4,1,21,0,55,5,0,8,6,80,95,23,6,9,15,3,12,5,3,6,5,2,1,0,25,10,0,3,22,2,0,7,11,14,2,3,16,16,63,13,70,65,10,66,0,5,2,0,24,20,1,8,38,293,88,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928510274774876,0.0,0.0,0.04025667375539188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8276218117086714,0.0,0.10935543765907732,0.04215548859139775,0.030754555888074967,0.0,0.0,0.056220594764055366,0.0,0.033082966784260134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037771269306443166,0.0,0.0,0.09802749748584576,0.04440014672442311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032098167597630414,0.044482944946833435,0.0,0.02592707876132695,0.0,0.06925215345633083,0.0,0.041723513327999805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036239321338282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026553159202799652,0.036365171330938834,0.03387206860228869,0.0,0.03613112504866477,0.03932544396549529,0.03789903521583988,0.0,0.1829468607840085,0.11488177507348032,0.0,0.0,0.03674406207694598,0.0,0.0,0.04407961278046967,0.09318030825251793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022847824035890238,0.0,0.03215335403064246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803976407028648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03989445805101333,0.035733542701717816,0.0889555063126154,0.0,0.04418813095184805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197993508008835,0.09820376662350963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038040272570135085,0.0,0.0407586981876478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04059273910561071,0.0,0.06417798934829834,0.0,0.029553226317682382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027242036037455626,0.03057556770621565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0383775275681238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03850257331044981,0.0,0.0,0.0384680546184135,0.0,0.04041429248579465,0.0,0.0,0.04021305696163302,0.0,0.02575454445830061,0.0,0.0,0.04316209358483242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031970385289512133,0.0,0.04068675010541311,0.03203593061858834,0.03659855267295197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040981057366575833,0.034063174688456155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570034467686014,0.06421102205527872,0.03361082067600762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879493146119628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060454068787343225,0.0,0.0,0.0370127638761225,0.045974693833212114,0.046677826870684364,0.026708540486920108,0.07727979649636954,0.03949843545437462,0.031916038452211214,0.140653278620254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02729463970542287,0.0,0.03927168598984238,0.0,0.0,0.06944354736749837,0.0,0.0,0.04742457199799895,0.06382123477231426,0.032247761978046845,0.0,0.07229317164605492,0.07453564295808948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043597546785398365,0.058535328315375085,0.0,0.0,0.08567542070412673,0.0,0.0,0.12944442173326948
mentalhealth,OneDayIllOwnALambo,2018/04/18,"Girl I really like is causing OCD/Anxiety/Depression There’s a girl I met a few weeks ago that is amazing, she is beautiful and is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. I usually have my anxiety and mental health in check but this is stressing me out.

I’ve been in a relationship once before and it made me depressed and anxious all the time even eating was hard. So I’m partially afraid it’ll happen again.

I want this girl to be my gf though she is really special, a needle in a haystack.

We see each other almost everyday and when I’m working the thought of her pops in my head every few minutes or constantly and I can’t shake it and it gives me anxiety.

I fear I could be reliant on someone or could face depression because of it and I don’t want that at all. 

I sometimes have OCD and depression/anxiety with typical things but it’s easily manageable. 

TL;DR I’m seeing an amazing girl and I like her a lot and it’s giving me OCD and anxiety and fear of depression. The idea of love terrifies me. ",2.2992734274711166,4.345355892682932,4.389602053915279,82.80856225930683,77.87804878048779,8.413350449293967,27.37483953786907,9.134995656068208,2.5420243902439026,798,34,158,21,19,274,112,205,0.187,0.655,0.158,-0.8236,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,1,7,14,0,5,11,0,17,5,2,2,3,34,32,20,0,4,4,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,4,13,17,1,0,2,0,1,1,2,8,0,1,6,3,23,6,14,21,6,17,0,3,2,1,16,7,0,4,11,108,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754402861553924,0.0,0.12148577550813887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712419058935055,0.1370585570050371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395634960771598,0.0,0.10323550618595564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463041344962528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110524495782686,0.0,0.1937304014078441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179754949140155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414199658131155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013158656733609,0.10974207823202796,0.1022184432627838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27304042497562986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327649269760101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728404115481706,0.0,0.10868007131394902,0.0,0.12451067383724965,0.12895888817471654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695700114537998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854293594715512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314304637719053,0.10949722651926827,0.11479716485778638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226335382698734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920324455255186,0.0822104651402724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410892637135534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554430863010099,0.0,0.0,0.13025369268135126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933547664157356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279515934279204,0.0,0.1199898860348606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389731602779766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060049306258013,0.0,0.11919757930547277,0.09631557505406507,0.07074343637517265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133618292025386,0.0,0.14311691378989802,0.0,0.09731664359825992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832336469508248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laradcm,2018/04/18,"I'm feeling fed up So, I am a Brazilian that came to live in Canada for my post grad.. In the beginning everything was new and amazing but after 5 months in here I started feeling fed up with everything (other than classes, I still Like them very much) 

So I am irritated all the time, I can't stand the superficiality around me, the English language in general, I can't stand my roomates selfishness that can't even put the trash out on trash day, I can't stand being seen as a snack by man instead of a person.. And many other little things that are getting to me..

I am not very good with confronting people so I just swallow everything and end up imploding, I know I should change but it's hard.. Today I lost  and gave in to self harm (not dangerous though, just scratching for pain's sake) 

I miss having a real friend that would hug me just for warmth and comfort.. And that wouldn't try to take any kind of advantage, someone I could feel safe with

I feel a bit trapped here, I guess stress isn't helping.. Anyways I just wanted to put it out I know I should seek a specialist or something, it's just I can't right now - _-",2.087868061142398,4.266047424778762,3.296894609814963,89.72234111021723,79.17699115044249,6.232984714400643,24.432019308125504,7.348242739294969,1.0586619469026552,882,32,183,12,22,285,130,226,0.154,0.73,0.116,-0.8942,0,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,17,17,2,1,11,0,18,6,0,0,1,40,38,14,0,6,10,0,6,1,1,4,1,0,0,3,11,13,4,1,6,0,0,3,9,8,0,0,7,7,26,9,29,25,3,32,0,2,1,1,7,14,0,2,12,124,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372092096137158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268718017949523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046148917616306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762700114910938,0.0,0.0,0.14579309995303502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100364057908434,0.0,0.0,0.08888116590690186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206578281559465,0.0,0.0,0.09102744548208504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715856170395301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27873955317660104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647779378063173,0.0,0.0720041821843203,0.0,0.0,0.11559514414268453,0.0,0.0,0.15182199181040068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345779848258022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237645594783793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351617005619752,0.15148226433073486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733088100126637,0.13812977573650392,0.1216957604857589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044455496677409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397257534917233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100049598982578,0.0,0.10131203887667403,0.0,0.0,0.1331054192605906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466479984485264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554560239976763,0.12033730390741988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199148418344972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770901780726591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568669808483229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769576243960715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437741619264559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677268807145398,0.1060989786132101,0.0,0.0,0.0975482428876611,0.0,0.1100615799582442,0.0,0.15786997752810294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362193456306122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156011134158548,0.0,0.13540542021725432,0.0,0.08036274550042845,0.0,0.1306352866130471,0.0,0.0,0.09356933044247978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274284576909868,0.0812885880939528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790190598083112,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Leatherneck55,2018/04/18,"I need advice for my adult daughter I think may be having a mental breakdown. I don't know what I can do. My daughter has become convinced that she and her children are being stalked; that her phones are tapped; that people have been following her and her children; that people have placed cameras behind the mirror in her trailer (she has removed them all from the walls including medicine cabinets); that people have installed additional phone and cable lines into her trailer. She had her son crawl under her trailer and cut away all loose wires. When we say ""Hello"" when she calls she will hang up and call back chastising us that ""Saying ""Hello"" is how they track you. You have to say ""Hi"" or How you doin? anything but ""Hello."" Her biological father is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. Is that hereditary? We've tried to tell her she is confused and needs help. She was a meth addict 9 years ago. She quit on her own but was never treated for her addiction. She is coming over to our house today to get us to help her get a new phone as she is convinced hers has been hacked and that child pornographers are trying to film her children. I asked her how that was possible but she ignores any question that challenges her beliefs. She is the mother of three of my grandchildren. Her oldest (18) lives with us. She kicked her out last Monday accusing her of being an undercover cop. Her 13 y.o. is living with her Stepmother. and her 9 y.o. is still with her. I'm at a complete loss as to how to handle this.",4.23992105263158,6.341116610526317,4.4433552631578985,84.35661184210528,72.3684210526316,6.855263157894738,26.260964912280702,7.6454224807358475,1.504991228070176,1194,41,217,15,24,372,161,285,0.076,0.877,0.048,-0.7278,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,5,3,2,3,8,8,1,1,9,0,34,4,0,4,3,36,44,20,0,2,4,5,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,5,12,16,0,1,4,1,0,4,2,4,0,1,6,3,55,4,29,33,3,27,1,1,0,0,74,11,0,4,12,164,67,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724314335997374,0.0,0.1221012836045874,0.1107620780369428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497139101971637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028245423142637,0.0,0.11681290385829768,0.0,0.11739616656483233,0.09608008823028966,0.0,0.0,0.1379992548853585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25517916285002123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763476254273263,0.1310094034293191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682327102354454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056413566316785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675048831966678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417740103774335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867014633959981,0.10185225293967418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066915142541588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592185091052455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853000960794405,0.09637039763640276,0.1206790598173547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25987717550506856,0.0,0.1305478554414872,0.0,0.0,0.14086418492632138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997441857518905,0.13290143573574675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980996465439827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978653059474676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921322931718297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006395714847868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843953202663338,0.0,0.0,0.16966790515765426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4509042665731279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046475097989393
mentalhealth,soygirl1997,2018/04/18,"Doctors Appointment (UK) [Serious] I have just made an appointment with my GP to talk to him about my mental health, I was given a provisional diagnosis of a generalised anxiety disorder about 4 years ago but never really talked about anything else that was going on.

This time I want to talk to them about symptoms I've been having for around 6 years relating to depression and more recently something similar to BPD (dont want to self diagnose this is just looking at symptoms and those close to me seeing similarities between them and my own behaviour/s). 
 
This was just a post to say that I am absolutely terrified and wondered if anyone had any advice/ encouragement about what to expect or things to be wary of. I'm 20 so hopefully it wont be put down to teenage upset.

Thanks :)",6.161712328767128,7.504356815068494,7.076602739726031,70.33106849315071,66.46575342465754,11.31945205479452,34.46301369863013,11.20814326018867,4.3741336986301365,629,29,108,20,10,210,103,146,0.111,0.768,0.121,0.1524,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,1,4,0,13,5,0,1,1,20,24,8,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,9,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,7,3,11,3,26,14,2,14,0,1,2,0,9,5,0,4,6,77,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366315537097616,0.1393928868243567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693558392583592,0.0,0.1202960351189472,0.0,0.0,0.1099530532444998,0.0,0.1294035832805331,0.13998608974527688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980512250457639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543943724246285,0.1596057258747292,0.0,0.0,0.18022244640073906,0.16095232662692194,0.0,0.0,0.18429615906151134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136243247920518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893689589475979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671496961360415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618501115490951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205063216700194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879401873612055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158471298333983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128111145105888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506023019151984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807996596899862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073855710690094,0.0,0.15526568240393546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505173560463184,0.0,0.0,0.1253081152849995,0.0,0.16404633886803244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105894943792447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268865055729048,0.0,0.3791754597859285,0.0,0.14477493218550355,0.0,0.0,0.1044700998474237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169390385646818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855005807703574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053122270023793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252805157645054
mentalhealth,spotheadcow,2018/04/18,"Changing a good thing. I’ve been taking Lithium, Prozac, Rimeron, and Latuda in addition to other stuff to deal with Schizoaffective disorder.  I’ve felt better than ever, happy and laid back.  However, I’ve gained a hundred pounds.  My doctor says it’s likely the Rimeron that’s causing the gain, so he switched me to Lithium, Wellbutrin, Prozac, and Latuda.

I would just like a moment of silence for the awesomeness that was my mental health.  I’m a little worried that things will change. 

Tell me about your med changes.",4.064148936170213,7.010529670212772,3.6419574468085116,85.69400000000002,76.76595744680851,5.887659574468086,27.48510638297872,7.1686216300943375,1.6712544680851065,415,17,69,5,10,124,70,94,0.047,0.768,0.184,0.9245,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,0,7,0,4,4,0,1,1,10,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,6,5,9,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,41,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719345399098495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779740103968612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183285802967965,0.5662319906031746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394249806652413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044840132665453,0.18261974770932796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139050149472928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131053967033116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964967156209275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993069778624788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18965140782841555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743333476947532,0.1788230442136744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818365732224125,0.0,0.17980472309668946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188621491422165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424744995587735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414913393636824,0.0,0.15594636128581604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237067753876304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811934934505229,0.0,0.12674397513834887,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jennynieman,2018/04/18,"All I want is a best friend.... I have really bad social anxiety and I hear a lot about service dogs helping with that. I’ve always wanted a German Shepard dog since I was younger but my parents are older and don’t like big dogs, although we live on a farm and have plenty of room for them. I wish everyday to have a GSD or any kind of pupper who could comfort me and be my best friend, and I don’t know what to do. Any advice? ",2.1502197802197784,3.24578797802198,3.873406593406596,90.44659340659344,75.81318681318682,6.518681318681319,22.89010989010989,6.868970318607317,0.5601384615384619,330,9,74,3,7,111,65,91,0.04,0.695,0.265,0.9706,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,2,1,8,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,0,1,16,16,8,0,4,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,11,7,8,13,4,5,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,3,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031506741435646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298366453780234,0.0,0.0,0.2827487944266505,0.0,0.15903760776103346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358200599999005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43634184226040973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659856772706395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32123529640827936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343105670381343,0.0,0.13934632355684606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21648861133601768,0.11425257876570608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015660390204606,0.0,0.18357336446984465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176743229604249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23084062016369197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318160582548047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197127228142484,0.0,0.0,0.21192077527690967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24524140446382314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23906673795339925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Vancleave053,2018/04/18,"Everything leaves me feeling unsatisfied, what could be wrong? I find myself being bored, unhappy and negative more often and all the things that i could do for hours on end now leave me feeling unsatisfied..",9.55,9.994762888888893,8.802222222222222,64.01500000000001,59.0,12.755555555555556,37.444444444444436,12.161744961471696,4.982377777777779,168,7,26,5,2,53,30,36,0.35,0.583,0.067,-0.9118,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,9,7,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413343788473535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447909219237663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483928028275623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794923795384929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526065976154773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721789342059129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5852936873217547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361479810119227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021784836644404,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Canoodlerstar,2018/04/18,"Bupropion and Anger: Are they related? Recently started Bupropion, switch over from sertraline(Zoloft) about 3 weeks ago. Im agitated and cranky and dont want to be touched lately. My husband feels like im pulling away even though its unintentional.
Small things set me off for no reason, and normally they wouldnt. I get pissy if someone tells me what to do, even if theyre right.

Im not sure whats going on with me but I feel like its getting worse. I would talk to my doctor but I dont have the time to start new meds due to certain circumstances.",2.5807575757575765,5.031739129629631,3.535387205387206,87.2028787878788,79.0,7.2606060606060625,24.63299663299664,8.296473431620573,1.6058592592592595,438,16,89,9,11,140,76,108,0.119,0.809,0.07200000000000001,-0.4664,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,2,19,16,9,0,6,5,1,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,3,11,4,13,13,0,18,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,11,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621144233260865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436981912511204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727881856889256,0.0,0.0,0.36017972242385515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298363606512745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539150780104766,0.21955128054567316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056334036689726,0.0,0.08732923949953629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979416122255005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333660286086086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014226723296606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068302784492478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840700976720994,0.0,0.0,0.15055541686680834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798937533563212,0.1517219639166074,0.0,0.0,0.1312258829352227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019669338357734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752447218788096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482392620187665,0.0,0.0,0.12350710630749033,0.1343067207725533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208571832492352,0.0,0.1509714152312123,0.0,0.08960112084582131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063339685369044,0.0,0.12325780015992514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659395932865275,0.10915655574233607,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ltheartist,2018/04/18,"When coming out of a deep depression, what are some things you like to do? Like, what holds appeal and helps you feel functional and accomplished? Even if it's small!

 I'm coming out of a 3 week depressive episode and I started by picking up trash out of my room, vacuuming, and drinking water. 

I want to keep feeling productive so I might do my massive pile of laundry next. ",3.076190476190476,5.495375666666668,3.9908730158730172,84.77000000000002,77.05555555555556,7.447619047619049,28.341269841269842,8.418075326091056,2.255743650793652,296,13,56,6,7,95,53,72,0.083,0.7340000000000001,0.183,0.6859999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,18,12,7,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,9,2,2,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,2,11,11,1,13,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,3,6,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487648335483792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44870600661491294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551734646119108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720460871503638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634153315195092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459577939898732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315286160451593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451696593934364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763305319971933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27702585646902755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843706962041288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305285029086814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536391957115249,0.0,0.20894317038909124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yung-insomnia,2018/04/18,"Place to find friends near me? I'll spare you the sob story, non manipulative bpd sufferer with severe social anxiety. I have no friends, not the white girl with ""no friends"" type shit, literally 0 friends. Question is are there any sites or apps that are strictly for making friends? Legally homeless at 26 with every small achievement falling back down and no one to talk to is unsafe for me.",6.310833333333335,7.787207305555555,5.595444444444446,80.59400000000002,66.22222222222221,7.982222222222222,35.23333333333333,8.238735603445708,2.7664300000000006,314,15,56,4,5,95,56,72,0.232,0.585,0.183,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,2,8,1,0,2,0,5,1,1,2,0,10,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,0,1,4,5,11,6,0,8,0,2,1,0,10,6,2,2,1,32,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097111125710995,0.0,0.14733454310475153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809356154099373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425664879528352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226947869749833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602821570961472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7439915673365275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855856663290108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305072636206723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012206401968492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575032406032466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21757737533786264,0.19769585929426686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632620887220345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480045558402267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,karkyflarky,2018/04/18,I have various issues. So I see a therapist and it turns out that I have ADHD and social anxiety. I got tested for aspergers but I don't have that apparently. I get pretty low sometimes but that is to do with ADHD and issues with loneliness. I'm scared that I might have some arrested development issues. I act some what child like. I don't talk a great deal and when I do it is often monotonous and uselly a short conversation in which I am fidgity and I have only just started to use eye contact. This is perhaps what caused me to be tested for aspergers. I feel like some people treat me like a pitiful child. My body language is weird as well. I have a thing about scratching my head then raising my hand and then lowering it. I feel different to other people that I have seen with ADHD and I feel like more might be going on. ,2.716345381526104,4.76168428915663,4.577807228915663,81.9529357429719,76.59036144578313,7.800160642570282,24.31967871485943,8.648137234880735,1.824443052208836,656,22,127,14,15,223,90,166,0.16,0.6859999999999999,0.154,-0.0493,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,5,0,20,4,4,2,0,26,32,15,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,14,12,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,2,8,22,7,14,26,5,11,0,2,3,0,7,5,0,6,8,97,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781190283294803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144727969643416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730125656454532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622833210573226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671642489049832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385505811236128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115676978161484,0.18947507501516525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928392967030438,0.0,0.07536605645873137,0.0,0.10606136896907166,0.14620442377095813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609744970528576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152352236155074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591487262220287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813592607433267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085686752421744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387195288258948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349133642886002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276704313273288,0.0,0.1056740349503683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518051777605616,0.0,0.0,0.13115596419563266,0.0,0.09386295899298784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658793779000306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397193753684366,0.08810105361042549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424301150392774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453358322814887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923348252548464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pewdiepie1241,2018/04/18,"What do i have I don't know whats wrong with me, i always described myself as shy and preferred to be alone. But recently i realized i might have a problem more serious than that, i realized that in stressful situations for me i sweat, i become red, i completely destroy any type of positive thinking and become insanely negative and cynical. I feel like i need to escape, to go somewhere else, this happened to me at 2 jobs where i was criticized and i quit after 2 days and the other job after 1 hour, i feel this in my driving lessons, i sweat and am stressed the whole lesson, i feel like I'm being tested for every single move i do during i drive. My dad told me i could be panicking a bit but from what i read i have nothing similar (luckily) to a panic attack, i don't feel my heart or extreme anxiety but i do feel a lot of anxiety. I dislike my self heavily i criticize everything i do and the worse thing is i don't even feel like i want or have the ability to change. I feel like i will never truly be happy, i spend my whole day in front of a computer and yet I'm angry at myself for being an absolute failure in life. I'm going to the army in 3 months (obligatory service in my country) and i feel like I'm going to last 2 weeks before i somehow get out. I feel like everyone is happy and progressing and yet am stuck behind but i don't even feel like i want to do anything to progress and i don't think i even have the ability since i am so convinced by myself that i have no skills or abilities, i am mentally weak to a point i can't get a job, i have horrible social skills and despise myself. What is wrong with me?",4.369296918767507,4.4730686411764715,6.272521008403362,78.9287254901961,69.94117647058823,9.88795518207283,31.190476190476193,9.842372674337009,2.9081652661064417,1278,51,262,29,21,448,162,340,0.227,0.638,0.135,-0.9857,3,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,7,8,22,4,3,14,0,34,5,3,0,1,50,62,22,0,6,7,1,10,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,11,16,0,0,18,1,1,7,9,12,0,0,3,11,58,10,35,51,6,30,0,0,1,0,4,11,0,6,19,188,69,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532308190787298,0.0,0.0,0.06854856409479003,0.0,0.0,0.05602269991581857,0.0,0.1260442675696339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779350566023737,0.0,0.0,0.09372161029829232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196926641474212,0.07010115807412044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993999173863866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714941130201087,0.0,0.08637613679606743,0.0,0.0,0.06577545843767864,0.0,0.0,0.10625936737908843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881973113924775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16323793695267658,0.0,0.06941053048500233,0.07871969287696387,0.07403978145221171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41654899946828106,0.4119768658932108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608256619370444,0.0,0.14045905539869852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728502799635365,0.1753947015528321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762326690376917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112984182754901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452547728258973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04527508559517505,0.06715246312568207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058188962285399014,0.2817343653792563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700383740581437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302184984553064,0.08739446254854283,0.0,0.0,0.0657566613133457,0.08755920804535001,0.0,0.06108533444287196,0.06353820742206702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904791300200241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665772507584472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787777796255971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882860976520667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762357733884302,0.08240446277148734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813424532153222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594256913644685,0.0,0.0,0.06814738149953868,0.09260100961848224,0.0,0.08397824665063829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873699246765274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054731052462264576,0.10557433488081668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871969287696387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718227543336026,0.0,0.06608200674520003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395349927329235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395446830291615,0.0,0.18014393843454227,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BestRedditorNever,2018/04/18,"Waiting for my first psychiatric appointment, looking for advice on ways to help me stabilize my mental health in the meantime. I will start by starting I am in the United States. 

I am a 23 yr old female who has struggled with severe depression and anxiety for quite sometimes. I also think there may be a possibility of attachment anxiety, codependency, and BPD. Of course I don't want to self diagnose but I am pretty self-aware, surprisingly. These things have been factors in my life for a long time but I never really realized it until recent years. I am not sure what other peoples' experiences are but I KNOW when I am ...idk..coming unhinged and I can begin feeling all of my insecurities, paranoia, depression, anxiety, etc. begin to surface. I lose a lot of mental clarity and I know I am not thinking logically at that point. It is hard. It is like I am a passenger in my own body watching myself become destructive not only to myself, but oftentimes my partner as well. Thankfully I have a very understanding, patient partner who is aware and understanding of the mental hardship I face and he has encouraged me to seek help for quite sometime, but honestly I have always had an excuse as to why I couldn't go but the reality is I need to before these things consume me. They have gotten progressively worse through the years. It is a viscous cycle.  I have a lot of abandonment issues/attachment anxiety that stems from childhood. I believe this has helped make my self esteem pretty low, and because I am so fragile emotionally I cannot take criticism well, or any conflict for that matter. Frankly it makes me feel messed something up, which triggers extreme anxiety and from there I usually lose control and spiral into a deep depression and begin forming very, very toxic thoughts about myself. During this I tend to bring my partner down with me and blame my depression on him. I bring up reasons why he makes me feel bad, when in reality I know I should be able to talk about a lot of these issues as an adult without having a mental breakdown. But as I said, it's almost as if I have no control at that point and I'm just watching it happen. I am not even remotely rational enough to talk myself out of going down that path. 

In desperate attempt to prevent that cycle from re-occuring, I frequently try to people please. This is where the codependency and stuff comes in. I KNOW my method of trying to prevent another episode does not work but it's so natural at this point. It almost feels like an addiction. Like the only way I know how to receive gratification is by doing anything and everything I can to make someone else happy. I frequently spend an excessive amount of money on my boyfriend, and although I hate to admit it I feel like it's a desperate attempt to make up for all the things that are 'wrong' with me or our relationship. He has expressed to me multiple times that he is very thankful for my gestures and knows that I have a big heart, but he doesn't need all of these things I get him. But I can't stop. I love him so much, but I know this is no way to show it...but it feels like it's out of my control. It's like I think he will love me more or something. Also, I do enjoy sex, but there have been times that I knew I was being excessively sexual just so I could feel loved and better about myself. And I know that is wrong as well, but that too feels like an addiction. Like how I try to make things 'better'. ""If I am buying him things and intimate he will love me"".....which I feel like is a true reflection of how low my self-esteem is. I should be giving gifts and being intimate out of love, not to try fill a personal hole.

In addition to this, I have a lot of issues with communication(obviously), I obsess over things due to anxiety, I am very controlling(probably to cope with my low self-esteem...so I can feel important in someone else's life), and I have been avoiding a lot of these mental problems for a long time. I used to experience these problems as a child but never spoke up about them. Also, a lot of the people in my family share these same problems behind closed doors but no one talks about them. Which kind of makes me angry because it made me think it was normal to live this way, and it is not. They pretend it's not an issue and go about their lives, which technically I could do as well but I want better for myself. I am tired of continuously hurting. I am tired of continuously hurting my partner. 

Does anyone have any advice for me on how I can ease this situation for now? I feel so lost. I know that I will need counseling at the very least, and maybe even medication. But honestly, the state of my mental health has completely taken over my life in many ways. It seems so, so much bigger than me and I have no idea where to begin. I know that my psychiatrist/psychologist will guide me through this, but does anyone have any advice for the meantime being that my appointment is in two weeks? Any long term advice perhaps? 

Thank you so much, this is hard for me to reach out about and I am just now coming to terms with it.",4.944564408151251,6.141448033502543,5.8864268373427535,78.28581181490476,69.17258883248729,8.958875892003238,28.9961745015817,9.280378410782307,2.476297432502024,4023,145,758,80,69,1328,359,985,0.161,0.6990000000000001,0.14,-0.9782,0,1,3,0,0,0,116.0,1,1,5,16,41,60,2,4,38,0,84,20,3,18,7,168,164,76,0,16,35,0,14,9,4,8,11,2,1,9,67,41,0,10,36,2,3,9,20,26,4,3,14,19,124,34,129,133,22,98,0,13,3,6,50,46,0,15,45,562,191,1,0.03994125846531373,0.0,0.0,0.08708373455673832,0.0,0.15612054203820278,0.0,0.0,0.07999080170035992,0.0,0.0,0.09582302989299653,0.033234326670645506,0.0,0.0,0.10864570160210664,0.04188189204336136,0.1833297204115984,0.0,0.0,0.05585571319892658,0.0,0.032868252501175685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03334928247105632,0.048695640878194606,0.044111981949632915,0.03398706914129146,0.045000120764916884,0.0,0.10597439196188704,0.0,0.04436573404278352,0.050304616827025785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881171505429337,0.04187764958663883,0.0,0.13439255292897592,0.06377968966954405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376053895587015,0.04053953658540774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485859332716124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673159259485029,0.04492853982706115,0.0,0.041269996966059146,0.0445450611836808,0.05276164904271929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03589662768141084,0.07814042981137323,0.03765306380012536,0.0,0.22215050418660395,0.14267021514130468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03397401404659452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02086765903347696,0.03831529460683528,0.06809861289750099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03531992295284519,0.04251821234100975,0.07155904464447084,0.03943372367021647,0.0,0.08491138002235958,0.0,0.04733058359105837,0.08031535087111623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551588654374938,0.04508881914064957,0.0,0.12506489031917384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0415926743651758,0.21950671098387708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463507617218513,0.17561953237732925,0.0,0.0705377259652982,0.10604027059109246,0.03354059764786919,0.08936810328888632,0.0436006018157855,0.2037397778057433,0.18024272587895265,0.03779338449910757,0.1866277012218626,0.0404941670554224,0.040126362598427716,0.0,0.0,0.04023661587029564,0.2415083654927227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808426201631832,0.08884781117454534,0.0616103216578596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039133952963864266,0.0,0.0,0.041911631916487564,0.0,0.027065230423990345,0.06075425376981738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307071863920222,0.034875166285754516,0.0,0.04384350766010517,0.11327219821611505,0.04502776763527956,0.0,0.08126923800167896,0.0,0.11465517049957427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496488968909012,0.0,0.0,0.02558739292725469,0.04106626590954618,0.03943717418517282,0.042881963993042005,0.0,0.0,0.037993283256669404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036361021618063635,0.20833721722059367,0.04512225323858146,0.0,0.0,0.044895647988141184,0.0,0.0,0.06768419736675514,0.06149746423986922,0.0790058518350595,0.0,0.05654125663655635,0.0,0.0,0.033392680528166886,0.0,0.04175527552490646,0.045723185080419095,0.0,0.0,0.03764416341818029,0.0,0.03003085561496869,0.09630981181931564,0.0,0.11031763355264594,0.0,0.0,0.18574638147499434,0.10237098266896774,0.0,0.031708897739594635,0.09316027604086627,0.09181320201879957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846997073953844,0.0,0.03901680582876693,0.08316051733305267,0.0,0.03449642325515724,0.04398965334105055,0.19773432732516444,0.04711677817033108,0.15851755928607178,0.032038468321303575,0.0,0.14364795245049594,0.0,0.07208154659920686,0.0,0.0,0.038501947853430286,0.0,0.029077711860840832,0.0,0.04070355465332839,0.0,0.08733899209604691,0.0,0.051441721852128336
mentalhealth,ThatMelloGuy,2018/04/18,"Could someone help me figure my mental health out? I only ask on Reddit because I don't want to get see a doctor if I don't need to worry.

So I'm very confused on all of these feelings on struggles I have/have had in life. When I was young I didn't talk until I was 3 years old and in elementary school I was very disfluent and sometimes stuttery and still am somewhat. I also have diagnosed depression and anxiety and struggle in social situations wether it's face to face talking, or conversation over the phone. I also find myself always locking my doors and checking every room I enter, even in the shower of my bathroom, to see if an intruder might be hiding there. I occasionally become sensitive to loud noise as well as sometimes becoming irrationally angry at something small. I feel like I might be making a big deal out of nothing but I wanted to see what other people think.

Any help would be appreciated, thank you!",5.646947565543072,6.747970904494383,6.768033707865168,72.95894194756555,67.48314606741572,8.854681647940074,31.12546816479401,9.075114841892004,2.798335580524345,743,29,127,13,12,250,122,178,0.091,0.802,0.107,0.7721,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,3,5,0,16,6,2,1,1,28,30,17,0,7,4,0,2,1,0,3,4,1,3,0,4,8,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,4,1,0,5,6,21,3,23,18,2,21,0,1,3,0,10,14,0,7,7,89,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315882507529204,0.10569244313370843,0.0,0.0,0.08637928603233136,0.0,0.0971714488724497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874838240910793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743140556724427,0.2805715421847114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014166962112388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309540593993683,0.1094038248085738,0.1289246118232513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300123546238674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389680414397843,0.0,0.10702147656983853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845223534609562,0.0907445109397392,0.0,0.0,0.11609576683435445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636372951336049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501839970094442,0.0,0.0,0.17028027956021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971936419929293,0.062056511706862126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478814215212709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800825603757535,0.2695004449791216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418517108511554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188099284252504,0.0,0.13328817571282064,0.0,0.0,0.096605921572182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806103092203492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855300112421025,0.3036601606781018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277800085923745,0.0,0.1294828881654974,0.1076252913460563,0.09778770766823844,0.2512559253888152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143989835846734,0.0,0.0,0.26558185623459696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204190873887872,0.0,0.11694475139571955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139054065625492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961283347694304,0.1498416816673406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420799341075387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289969623850461,0.0,0.09023275329650432,0.0,0.0,0.08179797525969433
mentalhealth,fern98,2018/04/18,"I am self admitting to a psych ward on Saturday This has been a long process of desiding if this was the right choice for me. After confirming with my insurance that I won't be billed I desided that I need to do this, otherwise my impulse to cause myself actual harm is gonna become a reality. 

Basically anyone who has ever been in a psych ward... what can and can't you bring with you? Will I have to remove my body jewelry  (ie septum piercing). Like I know I have bigger worries but I want to prepare myself so I don't lose it once I am cut off completely from my boyfriend. ",4.118653846153848,4.941711068376068,5.746228632478633,79.91370192307693,70.7948717948718,9.610683760683765,29.15491452991453,9.827888789773867,2.7027786324786325,453,17,92,11,8,155,83,117,0.064,0.875,0.061,-0.0761,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,5,0,17,1,1,1,1,11,23,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,3,0,19,1,14,16,0,11,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,68,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.2578429795475509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847504682612488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29181291776193996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934915577916496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714292215664166,0.0,0.0,0.2770321934036536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390043171897196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520973887246774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908573411472798,0.0,0.0,0.23382853814173904,0.0,0.2955973164542584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19591758572692994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28138826729423755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564451364335436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27564162183853297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558452364385411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683307058363435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghostguide55,2018/04/18,"I don't think my meds are working anymore. I've been on medication for a few mental illnesses since I was maybe 12 or 13. Things like anxiety, depression, OCD, and ODD. For years I was on Zoloft, but eventually even the highest doses weren't working anymore, so they switched me to a new med. I've been on it for a few years now but I'm starting to get the same symptoms I was having when the Zoloft completely stopped working. I want meds that work but I'm afraid that if I tell my therapist the symptoms so that they can help me find a psychiatrist, that they may have me put on a psych hold. 

The symptoms I'm most conserned about are the lack of sleeping, eating, and I feel like I'm constantly hearing random things that aren't there, and it's terrifying. I've had manic type periods like this before, but not since the Zoloft stopped working. What should I do? 

P.s. I'm in the U.S. ",3.0522659176029983,4.861928308988767,3.9537303370786496,87.85213108614231,74.89887640449439,7.218576779026217,27.59700374531836,8.021203637495839,1.6629830711610492,701,28,146,11,15,225,100,178,0.122,0.8,0.078,-0.775,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,5,7,5,0,1,13,0,17,11,1,0,0,23,28,12,0,4,7,0,1,3,0,2,9,1,0,0,11,3,1,3,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,7,2,16,3,12,19,5,16,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,5,13,90,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285955183058507,0.0,0.2407635367566373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329009398180808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727035519182126,0.13117456942390784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454912691084063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242076390934322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017395771317994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061376140544803275,0.08671780358046002,0.0,0.0,0.11094411993194844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341889775160114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681024602070527,0.0,0.08136212143087093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790842676945454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219480193102116,0.0,0.4044956762644419,0.12228309000329478,0.12232800296995686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723484272986585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202592362051425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008226292712297,0.0,0.12147313251628156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591725999615743,0.0,0.0,0.20296737536973672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784979410620451,0.0,0.0,0.10609625052099926,0.0,0.0,0.14093788573673013,0.16128622430383455,0.07777890744954898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159629483056644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44185033702027215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633652500612366
mentalhealth,myocdisruiningmylife,2018/04/18,"my ocd is ruining my life I’m an 18 year old male that has made some pretty bad decisions in my life. Some of these stupid choices influence my life today, like doing LSD. Lemme start by saying I used to be a pretty heavy user of weed and acid. However, one day while under the influence of the LSD, i messed around with two lighters and accidentally burned my eyes pretty bad. Oh this didn’t happen not once, but twice. Twice I burned my eyes pretty bad while tripping. The first time I did it, I was pretty worried that my eyelashes wouldn’t grow back because they were singed pretty bad. The second time was even worse. Then for some odd fucking reason, I couldn’t do anything without burning myself. It being lighting a cig, smoking a blunt, etc. Every single time I would smoke, I would get smoke in my eyes that would further fuck up the look of my eyelashes. At one point, I had nice, long eyelashes, but ever since all that stuff happened to me, they just look singed and much shorter than they used to be. I’m now terrified of pretty much anything hot. Lighters, heaters, ovens, smoke, FUCKING VAPE SMOKE. It seems like just about everything will trigger me into hours of compulsions that involve me sitting in front of a mirror to make sure I didn’t hurt myself again. I tried smoking weed for the first time in months yesterday, but I was too afraid of the flame, so my friend had to light the bong for my while I covered my eyes. How crazy does that sound? Going through this everyday is killing me. Looking at myself and seeing WHAT I DID, is killing me. I can’t even talk to anyone about this because everyone just thinks it’s crazy, and I think they’re right. I got on medication a little while back, but it hasn’t been helping very well. At this point, I’m just lost and don’t know what to do.. ",5.2896455039525705,6.069310303977279,5.061650197628463,86.03176877470358,68.11931818181819,7.939920948616602,28.08843873517787,7.893859768569023,1.5739437747035572,1425,45,285,16,23,438,185,352,0.16899999999999998,0.716,0.115,-0.9734,1,0,4,0,0,2,46.0,0,0,3,3,18,21,6,1,14,0,30,11,4,9,3,44,55,17,2,5,10,0,1,2,1,5,4,2,1,1,19,9,0,0,6,2,0,4,9,15,1,8,14,14,40,6,37,32,8,48,0,3,8,3,9,17,3,4,28,187,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567122666806601,0.0,0.1310387661623373,0.07087749819239676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244368835589907,0.26591306168468604,0.09706960687877532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134745673254475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967483638209855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879586549249252,0.10517476386979953,0.07201964705226174,0.06708216506026425,0.07607905305098928,0.07155612852543079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544720340968594,0.0,0.0,0.061513188461710486,0.22081853783546526,0.04159746996505765,0.0,0.04524912609381939,0.0,0.06367832527886799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081305735752453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336671753221348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840835393074423,0.0,0.08523343505690263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617252809528855,0.0,0.04375633990680087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871106784977186,0.07779532286059221,0.07979882589001328,0.0,0.07046001924035006,0.2005788959407087,0.0,0.08691318568992266,0.0,0.0,0.07533711251738613,0.05314608178939202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020743570110493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355086436037058,0.0,0.1170577698801756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083546402930763,0.08479128717617224,0.10790334534919943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053076008228594,0.0,0.0,0.5670056897623851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186125525670858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799391083372716,0.0,0.06331596361039453,0.0,0.0,0.06344577329623466,0.07248184869370072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586138821060618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635450581573654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114433080578276,0.0,0.0,0.07503965608386533,0.0,0.0,0.06399447262815176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020328602751828,0.0,0.0,0.1857051516094628,0.0,0.07546919146102404,0.0,0.0,0.05405585196104328,0.0,0.07777587346960761,0.0,0.0,0.13752993835640856,0.0,0.06569374271749125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158674791953794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767495585805739,0.0,0.0,0.08085662616829488,0.08113822875132512,0.16967646058952168,0.0,0.0,0.05127181434826755
mentalhealth,skydaz123,2018/04/18,"Am I going stupid?? Alright, I've always had a bit of a memory issue throughout my life. Forget things here and there. Also, I have a minor case of inattentivness, but it ain't too bad. However, this year, things got worse. I currently attend high school, and oh man I just cannot pay attention to the teacher, no matter how much effort was put into it. Went from acing physics for half a year to meh grades. I lost a fat textbook worth $100 literally two periods AFTER I received it. (Thankfully it was found) To top it all off, my TI-83 calculator recently disappeared, and I don't even remember the last time I brought it out. I'm scared for my mental well being, so can anybody give me a general explanation of what is going on? Yes, I know seeing a psychologist is an option and am getting a checkup a month from now.",3.5730530339226014,5.293044155279507,5.437515527950313,78.13666507405638,73.28571428571429,8.680554228380316,27.291447682752032,9.265573868473778,2.4743412326803638,643,24,121,15,13,221,118,161,0.135,0.75,0.115,-0.6275,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,4,10,7,1,1,12,2,13,3,1,1,1,18,26,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,10,6,1,0,4,0,2,8,4,4,1,2,8,1,13,3,15,17,3,24,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,1,10,83,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788273329441712,0.15387062189776826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440285234357387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188785345186105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213979586542532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20275835601007905,0.0,0.0,0.0966145547298767,0.17739484442623854,0.21019183008691172,0.0,0.1478996931286938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953811399778408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301140696781147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162876012064792,0.1507368009755435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306164750885079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186513128420103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635873465080885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760365156904046,0.0,0.13593956945152716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589853646266316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258900136294806,0.0,0.2094815361888181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851400290963746,0.1871517929127909,0.14735956637885678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025211161194495,0.0,0.0,0.24570904411192765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782999872867163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064275039576813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626784707377334,0.17142533108902935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884521786773359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381685000367502
mentalhealth,analonewolf,2018/04/18,"Alone and lonely in a foreign country. People always seem to ""escape"" from me and tell me that they're relieved to not have me in their lives. Seems like when people are around me for long enough they become anxious and depressed or start suffering physical symptoms like teeth grinding and stomach issues. (Ask the last two guys I've dated.)

Really, i've been tracking it and people always leave or distance themselves after a month or two. I'm not even angry or abusive, my anxiety and paranoia might just become too much to handle. I've been reading about ""emotional contagion"" ... And because I feel toxic i tend to isolate myself a lot. Then, when I crawl out of my hole, feelin' fine, it happens all over again.

I currently work remote and bounce around co-living/co-working houses every month or two. It's an excuse to not have to be around anyone long enough for them to get to know the real me and/or abandon me while being forced to be social and on my best behavior. I have an excuse to ""escape"" first.

It was working until I met someone... I'm sure y'all know the excruciating pain that comes with being in a relationship -- and that's tripled when you're traveling because you're basically living together from the get go and things get intimate and intense real quick.

He just left me because he needed to look after himself, which is understandable. (But in five minutes I won't understand this at all.) Except he went back to the co-living house/community and is out there surfing and being productive and eating vegan cauliflower spaghetti in a house full of young and dumb Instagram girl-bloggers and generally being happier without me.

Meanwhile, I feel ""banished"" to a hotel room, in a foreign country, with no one around and no one to really talk to. (I should note that I did manage to have a therapy session yesterday, which helped a little.) I feel like a burden on him because I can't stop venting to him. I need him to talk to me, like a fix. The few friends I have don't seem to understand or feel, maybe, a bit overwhelmed by me and don't know what to do. The friends I have here I don't know very well so it feels awkward and unfair to open up to them about how I feel/am.

After living around people for so long, I became somewhat co-dependent on the lifestyle, or used to wearing a mask, and I almost convinced myself that I was fine. Now I feel like I've forgotten how to live alone and independently. I don't think I've ever felt this hopeless and lonely and alone and fearful... Of everything. I feel... absolutely psychotic at times. My mood swings are extremely unpredictable and I don't think I can't take it for much longer.

I haven't left my room for days and I'm just looking for some support from people who get it.",5.291437723167398,6.372000718336487,5.978262444864522,78.37382508926697,68.28166351606805,8.524280613316531,30.195389624028568,8.761943790366164,2.4371285024154585,2176,82,394,35,36,710,255,529,0.131,0.773,0.096,-0.9617,2,7,0,0,0,1,80.0,0,1,4,4,27,28,1,3,23,0,33,6,3,4,4,95,75,45,0,3,16,0,8,5,2,3,2,0,2,1,19,38,1,2,20,3,0,4,15,12,1,7,8,10,52,15,68,58,14,60,0,7,2,0,26,27,1,15,34,277,71,5,0.0,0.07939809582450492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710269759609619,0.2082122306328724,0.0,0.0,0.1115184708733912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05126388921248929,0.07570432723664976,0.0,0.04685625037040958,0.0,0.0,0.2982738121375193,0.06264704283635278,0.0,0.0,0.051527983675374985,0.0,0.16339923064343484,0.1480186682573205,0.0,0.0,0.07032481239915807,0.0,0.0731595948179806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772478345264806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321710572122142,0.0,0.057717216522840585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856986195073739,0.0,0.07537932255618042,0.0,0.13848232883470718,0.0,0.04426070129472174,0.060616063554515126,0.05646038195267375,0.0,0.06022593850348992,0.0,0.0,0.07540697251186343,0.2710656777598314,0.09574657184668646,0.06434189412661442,0.0,0.0,0.05700025358500435,0.0,0.0,0.1035463930704951,0.0,0.14004372341781882,0.0,0.03808438412783207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635227664276179,0.05925836617815829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04491663697381199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464537770248954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994297124656104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731186220776193,0.054623609568263946,0.0,0.07095588362033138,0.14561716316689266,0.0,0.0,0.1636930486253191,0.06716348801618884,0.23669079913944205,0.17791016114919805,0.11254616947524226,0.0,0.0,0.05697108670739037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732242002423848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108899329195502,0.0,0.0,0.1069764540839031,0.0,0.09852285465183623,0.09937688965211353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081794075838168,0.0,0.07130534335467513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322879295054286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702999401061131,0.15254833408895133,0.08585902645665504,0.0,0.0,0.07194565877538481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830152407069371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683101519103845,0.05677893121948075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743133916820134,0.0,0.0,0.05602491525958915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760442642040067,0.06315788466705198,0.06965098055882546,0.05038457872773649,0.1077231888445892,0.05857131900110686,0.0,0.07663390165090178,0.0,0.044519701911210366,0.08587698768644841,0.0,0.0,0.03907515425683605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196382549021126,0.20928512758647502,0.0,0.057876731039872564,0.0,0.055291802260677134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602517096258873,0.062120665258358326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459704137851573,0.0,0.14635629579711856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlueBoxLady,2018/04/18,"In Love With A Person With Split Personality of A Sort and Spiralling I'm a pretty messed up individual, mental health wise, as it is. I recently started seeing a person who I think I'm probably in love with who I know is in love with me already.

Connection was intense, we clicked like crazy and we discussed things about each other that no one else knows about us.

He's had a crazy complicated, difficult, sad, awful life that his second personality was created to contain. I like the second personality which according to him, EVERYONE likes, but it's the first one that I'm falling for.

We're doing long distance straight off the bat and I fuck up pretty often...it's a pattern. I did something great, made a special package with a bunch of things like a relevant souvenir, a series of love letters, etc etc. It reached him in the morning but then I fucked up at night and we were supposed to talk at night.

Instead of confronting the whole thing, I kind of did my usual thing and ran away-switched off my phone to cry and panic attack and deal with my own self till I was stable enough to talk to him without hurting him accidentally by needlessly lashing out.

Needless to say, I managed to fuck everything that was already messed up to the point that it's basically irredeemable now.

His second personality won't let the one that I'm falling for come out until I fix this and I don't know how to fix it but I desperately want to and I'm hurting, and I'm alone and I'm so tired. My commitment phobia is kicking in, everything's kicking in and I just don't know what to do.

He's told me already that I'm his last stop, if this doesn't work out, he'll HAVE to kill the first one. He won't let the first one out anymore, he doesn't trust me. I screwed up too much too big-it's a speciality of mine. YAY *sarcasm*

I don't know what to do, and I've never been to this subreddit before. I'm scared of losing the one good thing that has ever made sense, no matter what everything around it is.

I don't even know if we'll talk again until I fix this. His second personality is ""okay"" with everything, and doesn't really do emotions or anything.

And we're in a long distance relationship so this all gets harder. And whenever I feel too much, my poker face gets so strong I can't emote even though I desperately want to and that made it all even worse.

I just...I feel trapped, alone, helpless, freaked out and terrified. I...I just don't know. I have no one I can talk to about this and it's spiralling me, and I know my spirals, they can get pretty bad and I'm just so goddamn scared. I...I guess I really just, don't, know.",2.532863910076273,4.451366947169814,4.036551585708555,86.20736852669614,76.69811320754717,7.001204335608191,25.61621838619029,7.915984808538092,1.4282581292653558,2062,76,429,33,47,684,221,530,0.217,0.636,0.147,-0.9937,0,3,1,0,0,0,72.0,5,0,1,6,24,38,7,3,22,3,38,12,1,4,5,78,82,38,1,4,11,0,2,4,0,4,3,1,0,8,35,39,0,2,12,1,0,4,17,20,0,14,14,5,51,18,64,62,11,48,0,5,2,8,44,24,4,5,24,286,86,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670974735190235,0.2025116890833359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066535370420725,0.0,0.0,0.0503386526964857,0.05445530158736064,0.0,0.06959102564492749,0.057472318607987724,0.0,0.05107536361805221,0.0,0.0,0.05205215183294945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269353801884826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719364706662684,0.0,0.06306478011514559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110065500737206,0.13761864354874107,0.0,0.06320616053394258,0.13644402690339594,0.12120892311328282,0.055332816485710715,0.0,0.05845166497167436,0.2199067776742873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185995313589745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560964727652504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965525562526418,0.09587821932157528,0.0,0.0,0.051307466901715934,0.0,0.06744142003685358,0.06738692942109792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502208276469798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096998426076634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767682546296358,0.06370035004178322,0.30256262877173057,0.049862659941775855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251033114865195,0.04320699947180383,0.11954055593102435,0.0,0.0,0.10826910360659693,0.0,0.06843488124964954,0.0,0.0,0.22083744132765015,0.17364489241926734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616461418375236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993568233271282,0.0,0.047178969802894585,0.0,0.0,0.11480997993665988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901581287567425,0.0,0.0,0.0717711763927729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37388608303091,0.0,0.0,0.05782651862375447,0.0,0.0,0.18669918395546986,0.06595285680563068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837562315961373,0.0,0.06039914092077805,0.06567493335131623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864576179507773,0.1224860054438969,0.0,0.048745494795983,0.0,0.06381486098808954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709254764874698,0.0,0.0,0.04329726201216005,0.0,0.0,0.0511418289625214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666824567822733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319700351673986,0.039196009451573324,0.0601003542807501,0.0,0.0,0.07030724997033708,0.0,0.05845166497167436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358137387413609,0.0,0.0673713907271078,0.0,0.0721606703127529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829541577795045,0.0,0.05896681550267097,0.0,0.04453333314629343,0.0,0.062338638208192874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Benmben1,2018/04/18,"Realising that my paranoia is becoming a problem, need some help. First time detailing my thoughts in this way.

I am constantly paranoid about things, from thinking a group of people are talking about me (I have about 30 people in my workplace that I feel uneasy about, none of which I’ve ever spoken to)

When I get home I have to search the house with a knife to make sure nobody is hiding in it, I feel very uneasy staying here alone.

There are moments in life where I am carefree but for the most part there is an underlying sense of anxiousness & paranoia during most of it.

How can I relieve these feelings as they often cause me to feel very uncomfortable in many settings. 

Edit: I don’t think anybody is aware of my feelings as I am laid back and confident (or appear to be).",4.803901264298613,6.225205211920532,5.1583383503913325,82.52963275135463,69.72847682119205,7.610114388922335,29.621312462372064,8.00094639256281,1.9947695364238407,621,24,116,8,11,197,100,151,0.131,0.7859999999999999,0.083,-0.5407,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,13,3,0,0,6,0,14,1,0,3,2,24,26,7,0,2,2,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,8,2,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,5,17,2,25,24,5,18,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,6,7,88,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720280677000955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18538134670820414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328863482506198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156148378106994,0.0,0.0,0.18896097066318332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576168172028686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848928981163312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476521092772244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4325538307601127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455333083627758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939006891452919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468136312025738,0.0,0.17162222198656993,0.0,0.0,0.19742064310723745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084944905225575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142072322591164,0.1734634621887216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686476477079586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527919761279013,0.0,0.2372314419496398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371479547884787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236449100967786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612550002270311,0.0,0.0,0.13751966942183502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366790670151615,0.21926151804921387,0.0,0.1358303080186876,0.09976686270882174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823425652426818,0.0,0.13580723670070374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shmevosez,2018/04/18,"Anger at my psychiatrist I have been incredibly angry at my psychiatrist the last two visits and I have said nothing to him about it.  I know this is really my problem and not his, as I am extremely conflict avoidant and untrusting (these are a few of the reasons I am seeing him obviously). 

He asked me how I was last appointment and though I was fuming I literally said “I’m fine, my mood has been okay.”  Wtf!

This has been much to my detriment as now I am very seriously angry, and I have an appointment with him tomorrow.  Today, he convinced me to see him again after I threatened to cancel my appointment.  I’m feeling really out of control and obsessed with my frustrating meetings with him, even more so than the real concerns of my daily life.  My anger at him is fading out why I need to see him.  I am having a constant argument in my head with him. :(

Has anyone gone through this before?  I don’t know what to do, and I don’t get it.  I feel like I need to have my anger play out, but really to what end?  I told him I am going to get pissed at him tomorrow and I haven’t gotten mad at anyone outside my family in so long.  He still wants to see me...",2.4750000000000014,4.209797482905987,4.555051282051284,83.2441153846154,76.30769230769229,7.927863247863248,24.94786324786325,8.697196308434329,1.7993596581196574,897,31,184,19,20,309,116,234,0.182,0.779,0.04,-0.9842,0,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,9,17,7,2,6,1,25,3,2,3,1,32,47,15,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,15,0,3,5,1,0,3,4,11,0,1,10,8,46,5,33,37,3,26,0,0,4,0,20,10,1,0,14,140,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20165946455404868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348098600976788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270569602047413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583166033503162,0.1617353517457176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772060253920595,0.0,0.0,0.09524438312201053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594127171396742,0.0,0.1458262211655448,0.1030182860282924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067969617361515,0.0,0.08195359690944677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799335480234632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849983204181753,0.2350885478557603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185448163908367,0.0704500515428528,0.0,0.0,0.1276146638298115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600542061285297,0.2138486348978933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836617611396415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798230576075102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413400094866126,0.2771394184154861,0.14826417424945554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743391756865973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4596428509621958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516029295384213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167821201252054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366870971884568,0.13779165666239968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408648770451942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898215446148835,0.08505436340506214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012031589011305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,palmerbear,2018/04/18,I'm in a loop of thank you's. I have this problem I hate it when people say thank you to me. I think its mostly because why would they be thanking me when they have to put up with me. I say thank you all the time and do nice things its just why would they thank me when i'm usually an annoyance.,0.41227272727272535,1.910744469696972,2.1090909090909093,99.53363636363638,81.57575757575758,5.612121212121212,18.575757575757574,6.42735559955562,-0.3900424242424237,229,5,59,2,6,75,42,66,0.127,0.695,0.17800000000000002,0.397,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,3,0,4,9,2,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,15,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,14,6,6,12,2,8,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,5,41,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102814039368835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166517591503961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692814089775948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138557785997276,0.0,0.16955065732645352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682516262147638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7764008793264402,0.0,0.0,0.112050720605321,0.108071010592928,0.0,0.0,0.09834745077527228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857560089101699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043802211518253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396235424585834,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fairyqueen555,2018/04/19,"Question about meds I have anxiety and see a therapist etc. and deal with it mostly that way.  My sister is a teenager and she has depression/anxiety.  She recently started therapy and her therapist is consistently suggesting medication as the path forward. My family is pretty skeptical because this therapist hasn't really worked with her for very long, and because she's so young and her brain is still developing etc. Is it completely irrational and phobic to be skeptical of this suggestion? My sister is convinced that this is what she wants and I want to support her but I'm also skeptical because I think its a bit weird that her therapist would suggest it after a couple of months.... We also live in an area where people have a tendency to just throw medication at any mental health problem so I'm just wondering what the more generic wisdom is with providing meds for teenagers?",7.037727272727274,8.624400000000001,7.635227272727274,66.22886363636366,64.625,12.06818181818182,37.04545454545455,11.741389052700956,5.230125000000001,720,36,111,25,11,238,97,160,0.105,0.8220000000000001,0.073,-0.4889,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,9,8,3,0,8,0,14,4,1,0,0,23,23,14,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,1,16,3,15,21,5,14,0,0,1,0,17,5,0,3,8,86,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910713102824453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123990359435758,0.0,0.18277991173872632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21847320853418545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304242078497398,0.0,0.0,0.13336180424912975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525617359944816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218511073368253,0.0,0.0,0.1231625734543863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664688191288237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262042503465475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698509421649493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548927334783627,0.10572225417611188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26539608311268925,0.24069567381413154,0.12039203908078178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535536191240654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282158826652172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215382654460263,0.0,0.11431131786624912,0.0,0.0,0.13382749339817235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653196781788972,0.0,0.11795670446570908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519767725216943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455753279738779,0.0,0.09540444175677447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556681040948473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661797802627054,0.5548296068152566,0.0,0.07654797787900089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857065950645352,0.1409264226670596,0.09482529760138164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295540696874439,0.08697152205691726,0.0,0.0,0.08486409781296053,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kianpm,2018/04/19,Trying to raise awareness for mental health I’m trying to hold an event at my college (special needs college) to raise awareness for mental health and hopefully get some money to donate to a mental health charity called mind/younger minds because I suffer from anxiety and I was also close to suffering depression as well all from high school. ,10.433551912568305,9.829954868852461,8.976065573770494,66.92453551912571,57.68852459016394,11.4120218579235,40.005464480874316,10.504223727775694,4.464405464480873,281,12,41,5,3,86,43,61,0.175,0.7140000000000001,0.111,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,9,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,3,3,12,4,2,4,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,1,24,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843565958305756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242834626862535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552598636236513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767642244992988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909901790061253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044260483558987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520221298244463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18289976375452344,0.0,0.1719368615826786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5233611884712712,0.0,0.3495826328842665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835855176144972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519612544929955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350600679354085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564629192569648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throway32134,2018/04/19,"Desiring Conflict and Suffering I have struggled with dysfunction my whole life, and after I turned 15, began to develop depression, body dysmorphia, and anxiety. Now, as a 23-year old, I struggle with regular panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and suicidal tendencies. I have tried meditation, antidepressants, yoga, exercise, spirituality, and love. My situation has only worsened over time, affecting my day-to-day activities and my ability to focus. I have recently realized that a part of me enjoys my suffering, and sees it fit. Is this because of being brought up in a traumatic environment, where abuse and hate were a regular affair? Does a part of me believe it is safe only if it suffers? I do not understand what the core is: Do I desire conflict and suffering because I am familiar with it, or because I feel safe in such an environment? I have tried affirmations to overcome my self-hate and replace it with self-love. So far it has worked, but it has yielded no results in enhancing my state. I try to dig deeper and deeper into my condition with meditation, but the suffering has now completely depleted my abilities. I would really appreciate any insights into my condition, as I cannot afford medical care as a student in the country where I study. ",9.312027027027025,9.430014481981981,10.33490990990991,53.9169594594595,59.58558558558558,14.967567567567567,45.977477477477464,13.816669648895859,7.2922990990990995,1013,61,146,42,12,352,126,222,0.21600000000000005,0.696,0.08800000000000001,-0.9732,1,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,6,17,2,3,10,0,18,5,1,2,0,37,27,19,1,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,10,18,0,5,4,2,0,1,3,12,0,0,3,2,26,5,24,22,3,21,0,7,1,1,2,12,0,2,7,114,36,2,0.0,0.16037413552902186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204638241266826,0.0,0.20709317599959665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539864232678982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24753437177954685,0.0,0.0,0.15249929867316458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034944821568916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380039545327608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191766785261334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458620129698674,0.0,0.2331629898392378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845051132035705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843980842816458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363553478433626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560559349632176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216362454257736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635642742508852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203282935398534,0.0,0.0,0.2058879161615896,0.0,0.15881051678763525,0.0,0.2931536351917269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671220009976432,0.0,0.13364722811097535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786080998943423,0.0,0.2824106155593155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214525461910608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830059175493304,0.0,0.1480569493204862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892688130020824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756925012150384,0.1472279170889623,0.0,0.1409098504072815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511195833626448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854041701274034,0.0,0.0,0.0961526645748061,0.0,0.0,0.08716450502401298
mentalhealth,Andarial1,2018/04/19,"Worried sick about a friend My best friend, let's call him John, has been having a bad time lately. Ever since he got his highschool diploma he's never completed anything else. He started two studies but dropped out after losing interest. The only ever returning interest of his is the military. Since a year or 2 he's been wanting to join. Sadly we have a policy in Holland where it states that if you fail your physical your gonna have to wait for half a year or so before trying again. 3 times he has now weezeled out from that physical whilst being in very good physical shape. Blaming it on not being able to run as fast as needed. 
In January he signed up again and said that at the end of April he would try again. With a lot of zeal I might add. April comes and again he's starting to think about dropping out again. We (his two best friends) are really fed up with this routine and whenever we confront him about it he only blames himself. Hiding behind the fact that he already knows and that he is his own worst enemy. How do I help him break that system of self demotivation so that he can finally do something he actually wants? 
Sorry for long post. Thanks in advance for any advice!",3.865012423763272,5.709669939914164,4.638983510277843,83.64540546645583,72.77682403433477,7.6520442737745675,26.426248023492214,8.371475516178862,1.8149278969957083,948,33,180,16,19,305,149,233,0.157,0.715,0.129,-0.7651,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,3,3,0,5,15,15,1,0,10,0,18,2,0,1,4,34,32,13,0,5,5,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,1,11,14,1,1,2,0,0,3,2,6,0,3,5,1,17,9,32,21,5,47,0,3,0,0,34,13,0,5,25,118,28,2,0.12855407471092584,0.0,0.12545023276964548,0.0,0.0,0.12562155397856786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186261814308004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742117911048937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578904997004893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733728267633512,0.0,0.0,0.10939004912399836,0.0,0.26981914050596423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126808348706556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073795240776832,0.13478650149078256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739043372240503,0.0,0.11386075332296892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23256904087141195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082470517229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979616776884733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782505866076128,0.1028164371845462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086167086475139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706499574816271,0.0,0.14501459569528607,0.0,0.0,0.13145525119695894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376631075835593,0.0,0.14381912674271802,0.0,0.10929207718201367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637555803632115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953212174953855,0.09914882752438632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554233337225171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311926794463092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235503207503349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222843636369854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410993652541742,0.0,0.0,0.2126825180840617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896720729631296,0.0,0.1439057617617676,0.18198247148916924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835532020917915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237226028873199,0.0,0.0,0.14992182953684915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455955643526108,0.0,0.2511573027098705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607057490835367,0.1516490479714604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055290303222955,0.0,0.09132112627804972,0.0,0.0,0.16556921860587218
mentalhealth,OfficialLagging,2018/04/19,"Starting therapy tomorrow morning After waiting for 4 months for a time (I'm using public side healthcare, cannot afford private (I'm Finnish)), I finally got a time to my first therapy session, which will be tomorrow morning. I sort of feel good about it.

I had some visits earlier to see my situation, but the psychiatrist couldn't pinpoint any specific disorders at that point, so I'm hoping to get a diagnosis soon enough. I have bi-polar -like symptoms, as well as some psychotic symptoms, plus dangerous self harming behavior. It's been getting progressively worse over time and it's exhausting the hell out of me, so I'm really hoping the therapy etc. will help. I'm getting tired of all the bullshit that has been brought along and I just want to enjoy at least some parts of life again.",8.123918918918918,7.946808824324329,8.447972972972972,67.44533783783785,62.10810810810811,12.264864864864863,40.7972972972973,11.698219412168324,5.099416216216216,638,33,107,18,8,211,101,148,0.18600000000000005,0.6659999999999999,0.147,-0.8924,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,7,10,2,0,7,0,10,5,0,1,1,19,28,8,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,1,5,2,8,6,20,19,8,20,1,0,1,0,4,6,1,6,13,69,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113310400764794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044331500540993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366509062086434,0.165859495195303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519611398738105,0.0,0.0,0.16291291995770746,0.0,0.12649915994706648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330965073049339,0.0,0.0,0.1247373117489912,0.11894309298137658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099682308191158,0.0,0.0,0.2954203717355658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504367664802106,0.07265593339649559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870501203603233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104672612307158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058625218718154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527233685410444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850871516173032,0.0,0.15514494653454894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716487336439248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052631204700526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091491695573378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102147923525479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26015537883109696,0.17092906524821794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844430325398226,0.0,0.0,0.08771752507349956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133715030612679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515559940442678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Not_Freddie_Mercury,2018/04/19,"I'm worried about my wife. I'm not sure where to ask, maybe there's a more relevant subreddit for this.

I think there's something wrong with her. She's contradicted herself in the past (doing one thing, then denying it) but I thought she only does it because she gets upset. She makes things up about me and our relationship (as in I never help at home or I set my family up against her). But what's worrying me now is that I was just talking to her and she wasn't saying anything. I complained that she wasn't listening and then she strongly insisted that she had replied to me. She didn't even open her mouth or even talked softly, but she was completely convinced she had talked to me when she didn't.

Suddenly, it clicked in me. She complains sometimes about me not listening to her. She goes mad, says she gave me details in previous conversations and I think ""Perhaps I didn't pay enough attention"", but it happens so often that now I think she really doesn't say them, only that she perceives like she does. What if she's absolutely convinced she talks to me when she actually doesn't? Should I look for symptoms of mental illness? I'm going to pay extra attention to confirm this.

For context, I've had a rough year with her (the marriage as a whole hasn't been too great anyway, for many reasons). We had a daughter and there was some friction with the in-laws that escalated to big fights, basically because she refused to do anything other than visiting her parents every day, even on holidays. It's nearly impossible to make any other plans. I'm talking about her seeing her parents all year long, save for one day a week sometimes. She's also on the phone with her mother several times a day. This was true before the baby as well.

If this is not the place to ask about this, please direct me to where I could talk to someone. I need some guidance because we've done some counseling with a half-friend (she stormed off twice in three sessions and completely quit it much sooner than me) and there's no way I'll ever convince her to see an independent psychologist.",4.6489552238805985,6.1834128009950255,5.163860696517414,81.90713432835823,70.24378109452736,8.146069651741294,30.315422885572143,8.648137234880735,2.3611267661691544,1654,68,313,28,30,529,202,402,0.104,0.8,0.096,-0.3458,2,0,1,0,1,0,47.0,2,0,1,3,26,16,2,1,14,0,24,3,1,4,5,51,46,24,0,5,12,5,2,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,23,14,0,1,8,1,2,2,13,6,1,4,17,11,63,10,49,27,9,39,0,0,4,0,68,17,0,8,19,229,86,3,0.0,0.0,0.08973722116681175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353835182450483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253422980016697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134631741370835,0.0,0.1719356335311641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816925209405886,0.0,0.07824903003339707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283130573043952,0.0,0.0,0.07342055344233275,0.0,0.0,0.17791487311631812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094519525267165,0.09410441401259134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501664349609927,0.0,0.18221111579489452,0.08318079208172262,0.07747813065815913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668931433590127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104610962622973,0.0,0.04804398024581126,0.0,0.05226154672430373,0.0,0.0,0.10138343019698512,0.0,0.0,0.08131768292302463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163715065015255,0.0,0.09224083550879572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0449257726235565,0.0,0.0,0.0813794631102913,0.0772211108223401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276464437749035,0.09323043657940852,0.09238363387682336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267149645548303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675993178006503,0.06818529537509878,0.07092326628300022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246255168107242,0.13987559233565686,0.0,0.0,0.20421576569832775,0.0,0.08778380588953134,0.0,0.0,0.09607597915164964,0.1009416826559197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780808367775093,0.0,0.0,0.058910307014634324,0.09454758988357548,0.0,0.09872790367516496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193848020683161,0.0,0.0,0.1465563882363533,0.0,0.0,0.10388576120412554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791526198566982,0.07079334946885679,0.18189656917327168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666882282922755,0.09557901639292797,0.0,0.4434715642134999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221849077971286,0.17676789216756308,0.0,0.07300395574671714,0.05362113755334765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729915557345131,0.07376273192241672,0.0,0.08268080500562203,0.0,0.0,0.10266722608323288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677453958789686,0.0,0.0,0.1005410526456256,0.0,0.11843518549490008
mentalhealth,kjhcvn,2018/04/19,"How do you start trusting your own mind again? So I used to work and I used to function okay. But the pressures of my work started added up and tearing down my mind. I suffer from strong paranoia, I know that now. But my main issue is that I don’t know whether my paranoia led me to believe I was being persecuted or whether I actually am the victim of a smear campaign which in turn led my paranoia to spiral out of control. 

To put it like this: I cannot any longer separate which of my memories are real and which are not. It worries me, because I no longer trust my own perceptions at all. Is that man friendly? Is he not? How can I know when I no longer trust my intuition?",2.8977272727272734,4.3802184565217415,4.0099736495388685,88.6578853754941,74.57971014492753,6.757312252964428,28.48748353096179,7.348242739294969,1.4776724637681165,529,22,112,6,11,172,82,138,0.158,0.695,0.14800000000000002,0.5255,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,4,6,10,1,1,3,1,12,0,0,7,1,26,20,12,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,4,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,1,0,23,7,15,18,4,13,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,6,84,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.19649879221406646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693203854538602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227474861020351,0.0,0.0,0.2268643188000415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22584291222465985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555706155321134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016803707618287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33198737878645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837456459012243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40663338814123545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242290918178124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22919232171090406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850479832701039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902239163945728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478216249108598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931856706800874,0.20449135246308192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LikelyMyFinalForm,2018/04/19,"Gut problems related to mental health Are there any good studies relating GI and mental health? I seem to have more than just ""a pit in my stomach"" in times where depression is really bad. I tend to have to make many frequent bathroom trips and become nauseous.

Is there any scientific support?",6.167830188679242,8.148171773584911,6.052971698113207,75.26549528301891,67.11320754716981,9.073584905660377,34.00471698113208,9.516144504307137,3.5132301886792456,236,11,38,5,4,74,41,53,0.17,0.74,0.09,-0.7143,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,1,0,6,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,7,9,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,23,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116128394875509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130190062626035,0.0,0.25304010647545344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19733687360322646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217123950436427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4870781971748237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293639797514155,0.2322871902477317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617891392015909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21923262319294476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467772778410759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857817706528275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599975927033476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359911030283922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGangplank,2018/04/19,"Increased frustration/anger from having my concentration/focus broken? In the past 2 months I have noticed a rather unreasonable amount of anger, frustration and hatred come out at random moments and I couldn't really pin point why until yesterday. When something breaks my attention with something I'm working on, I feel terrible.. Its hard to exactly describe it but I cannot seem to understand why this is a thing all of a sudden. I just become so unreasonably mad when, as an example, my phone vibrates and it breaks my focus on a strategy game.. the frustration sits with me for longer than I feel it should. Any thoughts?

I've been going to talk therapy for 2 years now. I have major depressive disorder, dysthymia, and sever anxiety. If anyone could discuss/shine a light on why this may be an issue, I would greatly appreciate it.",5.726491228070174,7.858488842105267,6.351315789473688,72.08754385964916,68.47368421052633,10.066666666666666,32.40350877192982,10.317481424215053,3.89806403508772,672,30,108,19,12,219,107,152,0.187,0.7759999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.968,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,4,0,9,0,12,0,0,0,2,26,20,11,0,6,4,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,6,1,0,3,2,6,0,0,2,4,13,1,19,12,4,23,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,4,10,74,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992400887773608,0.0,0.1349072240870387,0.0,0.0,0.12330798083613224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476465748516045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190986123473693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080108015983112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188994792907734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211231349444006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833566031379774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022373687750903,0.0,0.0,0.19442643527954856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579749107176724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406352386104746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076084242568468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077557951513952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834597548348645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667076979473332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297428950495048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605423653223909,0.0,0.19922524014009133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27152560437116585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174340456875473,0.0,0.0,0.20167152944305985,0.0,0.11715906643619595,0.0,0.0,0.14000215665973997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18358651049905436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4773851835910986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838485918622344,0.0,0.0,0.12527394013585946,0.0,0.0,0.11356358175445852
mentalhealth,zdawginator,2018/04/19,"Knowing your own body/mind Hey there

First time commenting, so hopefully this isn’t against the rules or anything, but genuine question—

At what point do you know when you need to see a doctor or go to the hospital?

I’ve been under a lot of stress recently, leading to lack of sleep and my anxiety has been out of control. I feel like a lot of it has been a vicious cycle and I’ll feel better then not, etc. starting to take out anger on other people and getting to points where I don’t know how to verbalize my frustrations. 

Trying to figure out steps to mental wellness for someone who has committed to a lot of work (and don’t want to let anything go!) and doesn’t have enough money for regular therapy. ",4.41,5.605222857142858,5.210000000000001,82.64500000000002,70.42857142857143,8.457142857142857,30.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,2.4561571428571423,560,23,108,10,10,182,94,140,0.14,0.747,0.113,-0.7181,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,5,6,8,3,1,7,0,13,2,1,3,1,29,27,12,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,6,0,1,4,5,4,1,1,3,3,7,4,24,23,7,19,0,0,1,0,6,9,0,6,7,80,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188844336147338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557702203702997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744313292759133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742999716699359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906364803374504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057495326703136,0.17331770399036248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571549197101324,0.11102139478107116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218745139021787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119272159987456,0.0,0.1766405361027589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435227413690342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562196446514658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891218692765682,0.0,0.07592305488889446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39635943427253145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566117331132198,0.0,0.1569147938602618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523087130313857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773829047704878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293815996642228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408921585938514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344373315500634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383770003938023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551727607896046,0.0,0.13167418982392345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999649030191368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801595331790265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684525300325055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17771921197182766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906179311323214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550982410237406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916619216014986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397277983241255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313672319885745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toree-johns,2018/04/19,"I can't remember anything. I (23, F, US) can map out my entire day the day before, but when i wake up the next morning I know that i have stuff to do but I cannot remember what i need to do exactly. I don't know whats happening. I was diagnosed with BPD, depression, and anxiety when i was 18. I know depression and anxiety can cause forgetfulness but it's gotten so much worse lately. ",1.8879107142857168,3.5862521125000018,4.649642857142863,82.08250000000002,77.875,9.571428571428571,26.42857142857143,9.957137785484203,2.784107142857143,299,12,64,10,7,107,51,80,0.241,0.759,0.0,-0.9626,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,1,1,1,16,16,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,13,0,5,13,1,9,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,44,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893081634769005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560576451752314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090249632989784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381534692131993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424852343485755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24389607731805746,0.0,0.3257275670990941,0.1919233638397061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672125286727945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117583714998364,0.0,0.21330286107827948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900362700573313,0.1402085653223085,0.0,0.0,0.20110040186879047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284064373377539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21646393188564947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274531661578219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269986258580052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Intpgoat,2018/04/19,"Difference between ""hearing voices"" and ""internal dialogues""? I know the former term doesn't exist but I mean thoughts that are too fast, and you can't control. 

I've spent days in internal dialogues, that are not controllable. 

But then, what's the subtle difference of the dialogue with ""hearing actual voices"" or ""auditory hallucinations""? 
Anyone with diagnosed schizophrenia or other psychotic episode? 

If you ask people a lot answers that they have conversations in their heads, but they don't take it seriously. 

I'm bipolar btw





",6.941601123595508,10.01399983146068,7.177963483146068,63.41503511235956,67.53932584269663,11.191573033707867,36.96769662921348,10.9516,5.430380898876406,431,23,59,15,8,139,66,89,0.0,0.972,0.028,0.3219,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,3,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,6,3,1,2,0,18,15,9,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,4,0,2,4,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,4,7,0,6,13,2,7,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,4,5,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.20268216565997527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522646720725935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416851839794005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658993577811211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394728637482226,0.0,0.0,0.21080793148412794,0.0,0.43399800593693455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315688936915547,0.0,0.4681788913901842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141447574071474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657643516216415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262427588390781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399084480846994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616218354032238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488809949869473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the-anxious-kid3,2018/04/19,"Why does my brain react like this? *Content warning: Airplanes, disasters, tragedies, 9/11

I am diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and ADHD-combined type. I believe what I'm about to describe is all three illnesses working together to spiral me out of control. 

On Monday I flew home from a business trip, Denver to Dulles on a United 737. I was 8 when 9/11 happened and I was petrified of airplanes for a years afterwards. I was also very close to the pentagon attack, living just outside of DC. I finally conquered my fear a few years ago and have been flying comfortably since. 

The day after I flew home, the infamous Southwest flight where the engine exploded happened. I was surprisingly composed when I found out. It wasn't until my cousin informed me that Southwest had one other mishap over the weekend and Delta also had one that didnt make headlines when I started to panic. He linked me to [this article](https://thepointsguy.com/news/southwest-flight-severe-turbulence/) and a coworker sent me [this one](https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Flight-Makes-Emergency-Landing-at-Dulles-After-Losing-Tire-480017093.html?amp=y). The article on the Southwest flight to New Orleans scared me shitless. Reading the journalist's tweets about people contacting their families made me feel like I was there. I has a full blown panic attack. 

I was able to calm down from the panic attack, but my mind was still spiraling. I started researching commercial airline mishaps, crashes, and tragedies. I blew through documentaries of the most disturbing ones I could find. I would rewind the dramatized crash scenes and watch them over and over. I also watched the crash scene from Denzel Washington's ""Flight"" movie. I wouldn't even say I was panicked or scared, but my adrenaline was rushing. When I would hear the panic screams, my adrenaline would rush. It was like I grew addicted to the adrenaline and I couldn't stop. 

Of course as one could expect, this YouTube binge brought me to 9/11 videos and I started to spiral further, but in a much darker way. I started out with flight related videos, focusing on the recordings we have from flights 11, 93, and 77. Specifically the calls from the flight attendants on board. The videos on the flights that hit the towers started a whole new spiral. I started watching the most disturbing, gruesome, and chilling videos available on the internet about the WTC that day. I watched many videos of the jumpers. I listened to detailed survivor stories. I listened to the WTC phone calls. I watched the towers collapse over and over. I can still hear those souls' panicked voices and screams. I couldn't stop. I still cant. I didnt sleep. I was up all night watching and reading. I am at work now look for every possible free moment to continue watching and reading. 

I have no idea why my mind reacted this way. It started with an airplane mishap and ended with one of the biggest massacres known to man. Talk about an overreaction, right? I dont understand why my brain suddenly got addicted to tragedy and was consuming it like a drug. It was disturbing and shocking to me. I dont even feel panicked or fearful. Just calm. Curious, but too curious. My best theory is that my panic triggered my depression and ADHD. The depression probably decided the dark subject matter and the ADHD fueled the over-comsumption. Im still having a hard time calming down. Ive been at work all day and have gotten nothing done. I feel like Im going to go home and keep on going with my YouTube binge. Thanks to YouTube's algorithms, I will probably be shown many related videos and I'm trying to figure out how I can get myself to stop. ",5.448877991978264,8.15948385648855,5.079508345193428,78.41838271445208,70.74045801526717,8.226937508086428,32.93375598395653,8.985284822729394,3.2580736188381434,2966,143,478,62,59,907,306,655,0.182,0.733,0.085,-0.9967,2,0,1,0,0,0,121.0,1,0,2,6,24,35,3,12,43,0,47,8,3,7,3,84,83,40,0,9,8,1,4,5,0,5,5,8,3,1,18,35,0,5,12,10,1,12,10,22,0,6,29,20,68,14,71,43,10,82,1,4,8,0,18,29,0,4,44,313,86,8,0.0591524800685015,0.0,0.0,0.12896986901731256,0.21326935792002025,0.0,0.05243510452431005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191265081873472,0.0,0.06409168744057625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525148534494583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188345682162392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664458880129072,0.06207687841388498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206746131230152,0.1208025915873844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634453623429698,0.09445688410717634,0.0,0.0,0.11444536824480996,0.0,0.15284383321806666,0.06003852211960549,0.0,0.0,0.06779386688904117,0.0,0.051764733929474505,0.06053352441249767,0.13865253219120016,0.0,0.06859809720995334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052391539954424055,0.0,0.0,0.07813931040983811,0.0,0.049838515683258235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576369377267282,0.1331259708908702,0.08972781376738426,0.0845170871603237,0.0,0.06479865056466005,0.05406429514507862,0.0,0.0,0.06485764122250713,0.0,0.0,0.030904729407211867,0.0,0.10085315277710256,0.0,0.04730964199267275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461668554102094,0.0,0.052989003410208665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333382882170081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780042815213885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667759499327181,0.12778965818104895,0.0,0.0,0.052577442177169184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449456927145313,0.0,0.0522327236241597,0.0,0.049673185324748535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597150688794938,0.039484739772260184,0.11994266088118505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945428478523408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043483879021937635,0.0,0.0,0.11425966770518554,0.0,0.05551059544539527,0.0,0.05675839997693685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404995082358,0.0,0.0,0.3470134512328377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100888168766506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668553345378597,0.0,0.0,0.12755275646334058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750546270906106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051589477484024,0.0,0.047040426357175535,0.11844390356430284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04893154277752712,0.0,0.059195199282177535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29307900894040595,0.0,0.1889569879723152,0.14836236602997438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475445228229403,0.0,0.05445965626074057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034492286819587034,0.06798707415740017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401606510957434,0.0,0.0,0.061579817875563686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880699100537829,0.0,0.09390497071412908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012773804633,0.06604163153963473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919112997751955,0.0,0.0,0.12606067401929666,0.0,0.0,0.0761845155477506
mentalhealth,dubberducker,2018/04/19,"I feel like I'm losing my sanity. So, lil background, I'm a 17 year old female. I should be at the top of my game, right? I've suffered from anxiety and depression since an extremely young age, but I've never felt as bad as I have in the past few months. My sleeping pattern is extremely messed up, like I slept 15 hours today, from morning into the night. I go long lengths without sleeping and then I sleep a lot. I'm coping, but barely...

So, I'll get into the actual thing. I feel like I'm losing my sanity, I feel like I'm becoming a shell of a person. I struggle to string sentences together, to remember almost anything, concepts that made complete sense to me before I can't get my head around anymore, even now I'm losing touch of what I'm trying to write. I feel like I'm becoming dumber.

I feel like I'm becoming less conscious, less coherent, becoming out of touch with reality. Although I don't have any weird illogical thoughts, I just generally feel like my mind is else where. Like I'm a zombie. Like I'm constantly on drugs (I don't take any medication besides birth control btw).

Mostly I just feel like I'm not all there anymore. I feel like a completely different person to what I was a year ago, like my personality has completely shifted. I feel completely empty, but not in the typical depressed way, I literally just feel like part of myself has upped and left. It's difficult to describe.

My head kinda hurts right now from trying to think and pull together thoughts. I don't know what to do. I'm going back to a psychologist really soon to talk about these issues but it's really scary and I don't know what to do about it in the mean time... Has anyone else experienced anything like this?",2.8499543248644024,4.978289138643071,4.6518298601199,81.18858121610052,76.49262536873155,8.150004757826625,26.274716909315824,8.933256019334266,2.2614954990960134,1354,52,260,32,31,459,170,339,0.122,0.727,0.15,0.8263,2,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,5,15,26,0,1,15,0,17,8,6,2,2,51,54,15,0,1,10,0,13,14,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,10,0,1,19,1,0,3,9,12,0,0,6,14,32,14,36,46,7,41,0,7,0,0,6,16,0,4,35,144,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.06200600389512221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632449398644504,0.0,0.06362626470418531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641893845497567,0.0,0.04860802771943448,0.0,0.12602947610437518,0.044428738276040665,0.06510437493860194,0.10457623074401044,0.05656418953413976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885844006952534,0.05305335686336868,0.0,0.2807003385881513,0.05406797311030148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664824816002923,0.06866431057383256,0.0712656619274912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945404664877964,0.0,0.0,0.06638591500878903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368638145828946,0.0,0.10615925542230667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04196765849149225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212780034041768,0.4085377524875381,0.06100849196719627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639419379214523,0.0,0.07222264357235883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304210152823132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257423168012291,0.0,0.06802102639285329,0.0,0.0,0.06631939045904785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983999060153147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903654026621626,0.0,0.0,0.4345949912972135,0.0,0.0,0.05623101808802038,0.0,0.21325546719495134,0.0,0.05401954873928042,0.0,0.06012321004644845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921383211068251,0.0,0.06400999909349664,0.0,0.0,0.06415742093087341,0.0,0.05071712783908649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900606758508506,0.0,0.0,0.059628110360657086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666746808337294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880777194454828,0.060656246528926476,0.0,0.16644237946348112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141087229394181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197858411956072,0.10852585256681407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525610545058138,0.0,0.19075806234636064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642594290518118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777427224216881,0.05107115193386441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042213240895383725,0.040713951497338224,0.0,0.10088753597519272,0.03705076244575544,0.0,0.060228616396727976,0.0,0.0,0.08627915865353873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043519991300005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061250420640254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183552463102428
mentalhealth,hawaiianko,2018/04/19,"I had a serious breakdown wanting to kill myself earlier this morning but now life is looking super amazing. Is there something wrong with me? I'm from the USA (rules say to add your location). I keep going through phases of extreme hopelessness coming close to killing myself then all of a sudden I'll come out of it and Ill be super ecstatic about life. It happens all the time. 
During the hopelessness phase, life will seem as if the only path is suicide, relationships, friendships, and careers are hopeless. I'll feel extremely ugly inside and out.
",5.7323999999999975,7.9387520400000025,5.923000000000003,74.86150000000002,68.6,8.200000000000001,34.5,8.841846274778883,3.392800000000001,444,22,68,8,8,141,75,100,0.304,0.534,0.163,-0.9707,0,0,1,0,0,6,13.0,0,1,0,2,3,10,2,0,6,0,7,4,0,0,2,18,17,7,3,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,10,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,1,3,6,3,13,14,2,10,0,3,1,0,3,3,0,2,4,45,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666836501387832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761771872848676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096122453829992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821269402675345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918095112697247,0.4709493103630327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510031269545354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873103095385792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187353793025824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22850927446993544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692579979391442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937604973101872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385374673456546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23281115908578254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410804628124912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553786945031514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23270587280052565,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pizzainovenbaking,2018/04/19,"Depressed for no reason so therapist doesn't believe I have no idea why I'm depressed and I don't know how to explain it. It's so bad that it's really affecting my life and I can't even get out of bed to do anything. 

I'm seeing a psychologist but because I can't find a reason why I'm feeling this way he doesn't seem to believe me. He tells me that since I have no reasonable reason to be depressed I may as well snap out of it. 

I dunno what to do. Anyone got ideas...?",0.43615384615384656,2.159891846153851,3.216000000000001,90.529,82.46153846153845,6.083076923076924,22.9,7.1686216300943375,0.7742646153846153,368,13,84,5,10,130,60,104,0.179,0.7759999999999999,0.045,-0.9021,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,6,0,20,21,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,11,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,1,2,10,1,11,18,0,3,0,3,1,0,4,2,0,3,0,53,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029205441133507,0.0,0.11803356825875287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976100064300815,0.08743574443597975,0.0,0.0,0.3232009262292206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706172500500665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473648931450508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252429902100806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109564168007098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493809586743866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471689139830453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238379777905173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788273132356003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131133926369656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188718778202816,0.589894202643494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142979475831307,0.13057649252755946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864969258550817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536722135820627,0.0,0.0,0.16653737556368278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385085442880905,0.0,0.0,0.12896396302320315,0.0,0.25885289004669865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ratsandfoxbats,2018/04/19,"Anxiety and paranoia I'm a 25 year old female from the US. I've struggled with anxiety, mostly social, for most of my life, which mostly stemmed from my childhood family/school experiences. Basically, I have a default assumption that everyone is against me. That nobody REALLY likes me, just tolerates me. And as a now married woman, it's very difficult to live with. 

What breaks my heart is that I don't trust my husband. Whenever his phone goes off, I assume it's another woman. If he doesn't text me back right away, I assume it's because he's sick of me and doesn't want to. If he comments on another women's photo, who's an old college friend, I fly off the handle and get upset. We've gotten into arguments over it because he's upset I don't believe him or trust him, even though he's told me time and time again.

I'm just so sick of my anxiety taking the reigns in my everyday life. I feel like it's starting to take a toll on my marriage and that's the last thing I want. Does anyone else experience this? ",3.4256646341463433,4.9217514780487805,5.121021341463415,81.16787347560978,73.24390243902441,8.442073170731707,27.44664634146341,9.017664075816787,2.2655914634146344,803,30,157,17,16,273,119,205,0.173,0.779,0.048,-0.9591,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,0,8,9,0,3,9,0,7,5,1,0,0,22,18,12,0,4,5,1,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,3,14,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,25,5,21,16,3,22,0,0,0,0,20,9,0,8,14,96,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30087297205335,0.3292530205466833,0.0,0.0,0.10031468026158802,0.14699774985773942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479091850421634,0.11031640743886492,0.0,0.17491093981494749,0.0,0.0,0.1616369201191128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554795991154122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198473350552009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475786183133406,0.0,0.0,0.1370877980993392,0.0,0.28067432257517416,0.0,0.0,0.07254066047595062,0.10249205458199748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084138435100983,0.0,0.07495500187405392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000776062501802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694384175552032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266839012846785,0.14018036615463758,0.0,0.1266830019945818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30108661865763203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190791749748893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225190791230183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451951316003203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624539935099434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154588951150556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998168937876888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157369770407224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953123569910026,0.0,0.14095450039499904,0.0,0.1673122187311069,0.0,0.0,0.1370877980993392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257179124696906,0.0,0.0,0.11837437739938154,0.16923978824797334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238732412785612
mentalhealth,Elastichedgehog,2018/04/19,"I think I need help I'm in my second year of university at the moment and for the most part things were going good. I made a group of friends and through them met a girl and developed a relationship. In retrospect the relationship had problems but I was still happy. The one thing holding me back though is that ever since moving to university I've been experiencing what I can only expect to be some form of social anxiety. I've not spoken to anyone professionally so I don't want to diagnose myself or anything but I find it incredibly exhausting to be around unfamiliar people and as a result avoid it. I also experience nausea in my stomach when I'm forced to sit in the middle of a row in lectures, I find it hard to focus on anything and I basically have to sit there feeling like I'm going to throw up for 20 minutes until I calm down. This was usually done by texting my ex. I think this why I've found it so hard to make course mates, I had to leave lectures a lot at the beginning of university. I think a large reason why our relationship broke down was me going through periods of feeling inadequate and jealous when I really didn't need to. It was unfair on her but I really couldn't help it.

We broke up around 3 weeks ago because of something I did drunk. I have no memory of what happened but it was vile and I'd rather not discuss the specifics. 3 days after it happened we broke up at 3am over text. I think the fact that I have no memory of what happened and the break up was over text is a large reason why I'm struggling to process that we're not together anymore. Since breaking up we didn't speak for a week, after which she messaged me saying that she didn't want to throw away our friendship because we didn't work out and that if she could rewind to last year (we dated for 11 months) she would. We continued speaking for 2 and a half weeks but after coming back to University we fell out. I think this was because I'd largely failed to internalize and accept the fact that we're not together anymore due to the circumstances of the break up. Ever since falling out again I've felt so so low. I have no motivation, I've not eaten a proper meal in 3 days, I go through periods of just wanting to sleep and not interact with people. I find no interest in doing what I'd usually enjoyed doing and I can't focus on my work. I was up until 6:30am last night and purposefully skipped my lecture this morning, something I've never done before. I even have intrusive thoughts about ending my life or harming myself, which when I put it down into words seems so ridiculous because I don't think I ever would, but there we go. I've sent her a long message explaining where I'm at mentally and that if she wants to be my friend like she says then that's what I really need right now. She's not replied since seeing it which is fair enough but I just, don't know what to do. I'm worried that when I speak to a professional they're going to tell me there's nothing wrong with me and that it just turns out I'm a ****. I don't want to be a bad person, I never meant to hurt her :(

I don't have any close friends of my own and I'm finding university such a lonely place. I just feel so empty, I just need someone to care and someone to help me :(

EDIT: From the UK.

**For context on what I actually did as far as I know I never physically harmed her. I'm not a threat to her and have no intention of harassing her or harming her. I think that needs to be established.**",3.4035031081857596,4.751914095909736,4.942121140887012,83.01533706838009,73.0620592383639,7.959891344094447,26.95191453795121,8.515128840125781,1.8264094760486853,2750,98,563,48,54,926,284,709,0.165,0.73,0.105,-0.9922,0,3,2,0,0,0,57.0,10,0,1,4,35,33,5,2,30,0,49,8,2,7,8,124,105,49,0,19,26,1,6,2,4,2,3,5,0,2,38,38,3,2,26,1,0,14,27,21,0,3,28,13,83,12,99,68,7,105,0,7,1,0,53,42,0,9,46,389,121,10,0.0,0.0,0.06288522495962559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712315344600541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051533530206464506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043822162727218526,0.0,0.04929727068286069,0.0,0.12781652515089514,0.045058720537559625,0.0,0.10605908109946983,0.11473249556703324,0.0,0.0,0.060544541557075525,0.09910246756573153,0.05380563286837919,0.15713080349818914,0.0,0.05483463597981949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570200364226353,0.0,0.0,0.05551030791244424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145098053904167,0.0,0.0,0.08311836622609645,0.0,0.0,0.0654063674102067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189125243526414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057075693912302126,0.06658489000961605,0.0,0.04256274359705744,0.17487201256172405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303576819466918,0.0,0.0,0.09775008023170008,0.04603673991371824,0.061873568699795774,0.0,0.2355920184036737,0.0,0.0,0.07065634798118084,0.14936111888443526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197401978641583,0.054050143395249765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709551750316894,0.06859875697252739,0.11545314919126053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295805475400221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689855381413429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083029455637826,0.10505620653945892,0.0,0.06823382804363673,0.0,0.0,0.04551665981879479,0.06296533993772016,0.0,0.0,0.057028352095628426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478552497001569,0.0,0.06097573382507816,0.04301493949994352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494147942374097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143627702345674,0.06849069875238706,0.0,0.23891132257321415,0.1491028637978614,0.0,0.0,0.060473613817939975,0.0,0.061832980417329965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043666962038994214,0.04901036591069413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697834394395463,0.0,0.08935069978577091,0.05626748926378166,0.06732724151260279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616614367012308,0.0,0.06478111156536122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238478702890564,0.13251238186140746,0.0,0.20755689840887825,0.0,0.05503235351323888,0.0,0.10249230996462147,0.0,0.0,0.05135121928046631,0.05866476382508996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132253994180238,0.0,0.0644876458727187,0.06568959360760207,0.109201482150845,0.0992198253770068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146275151236377,0.0,0.0,0.06736783698902696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632436811575925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562361652820202,0.28903881667090736,0.06331306071302488,0.05115904103539076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700934199862045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419455509862948,0.0,0.19004517341369634,0.0,0.15507230768674365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444422842985888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382778717321894,0.06544307248428187,0.0,0.0915542274059626,0.07045623467150602,0.0,0.0829959206017432
mentalhealth,RYAN_BENJAMIN,2018/04/19,"Completely lost it today in front of my Dad and sisters and feel ashamed. I got anxious and stressed and blew my lid at home today, accidentally smashed a window and a picture frame. I'm the eldest and supposed to set an example but completely embarrassed myself and I feel utterly ashamed.

There are lots of conflicting feelings which come rushing back every time I do something stupid or embarrassing. My life's a mess, generally, and I can't seem to get myself together.

I can't envisage any sort of positive long-term future for myself as I keep making the same mistakes and can't seem to catch a break or take advantage of any breaks I do get. A lot of it is down to anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and a lack of self-belief. 

Has anyone experienced the similar emotions? What can I do? Help.",5.396550270921131,6.9650540132450365,6.330523780854907,74.12565924142083,68.47019867549669,9.994220349187238,34.25707405177604,10.230975488527342,3.835961589403972,640,31,112,17,11,212,98,151,0.245,0.691,0.064,-0.9787,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,2,11,1,5,10,0,10,1,0,1,0,30,25,14,0,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,11,0,2,6,0,0,4,3,10,0,0,2,5,14,1,16,23,4,15,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,7,5,73,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248389968862589,0.0,0.12646510577945974,0.18675827954179625,0.0,0.11559171086221524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711661183367598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240376525425666,0.3466581221776219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595651143707825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928455850076274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33435182286878073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273995952953433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221707162503069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108067946738389,0.0,0.16582387753093158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469390835651715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167664886712048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462980907523015,0.0,0.0,0.1804602562520215,0.2810888763026429,0.0,0.0,0.11034868256608614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009921425628305,0.1724590305670948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726714418375734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936714994779452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429589670899073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639618827897198,0.0,0.3133975477271771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BeingOfNowhere,2018/04/19,"Should I go to college even though I struggle with mental illness? So I have an offer from a good university. I just don't know whether I should accept or defer. I mean, I want to accept but the thing holding me back is concerns about my mental illnesses.

I struggle with anxiety, social anxiety, am subject to occasional bouts of (non-severe) depression and am currently going through tests to determine if I have aspergers or not (the results of the tests won't come until after I have accepted or not).

So the school has a lot of support for mentally ill students. But I'm really worried about how I'll react to being away from home in a different city. My reasons for thinking about deferring are kind of running away from the problem, but maybe that year will give me the chance to get better? Or maybe worse, since I'll probably just sit in my room all year.

Any advice, or has anyone experienced the same?",6.958439306358379,7.1299426763005815,7.458734104046242,72.40035549132952,64.43352601156069,10.61942196531792,35.797109826589605,10.355215969177356,3.824612023121388,725,32,126,16,10,239,111,173,0.203,0.696,0.101,-0.966,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,11,11,0,2,11,0,15,3,0,4,1,36,26,16,0,5,14,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,0,2,4,0,1,7,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,0,1,15,7,27,21,3,16,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,7,6,94,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557181222338066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434565409639677,0.0,0.21226625790665632,0.0,0.0,0.09700786536540328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606952290659491,0.10667989144278983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270125959489467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950930723551605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949364119945495,0.0,0.0,0.14495023165680626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163422421202086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724841539772722,0.13308880068966944,0.15769442833309416,0.11636568839313753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391641343994331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447283273008407,0.07624601404726368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179489068233552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787591497892779,0.15112484322872533,0.0,0.0,0.4194416231137997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958153358813678,0.13275220153586495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887822663005572,0.1426443443744145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404088588157447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673288250971834,0.0,0.11476435966477325,0.0,0.0,0.1414245051029016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900752610204457,0.0,0.0,0.15743666395405925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217044076232664,0.08889681945969766,0.13630801754348626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183044869413443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408937646012746,0.1413844609105912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868365980122122
mentalhealth,colorstop,2018/04/19,Emotional literacy I'm just wondering if anyone has any good resources about labelling emotions/what certain emotions feel like. I'm working on being more emotionally literate. ,8.300595238095237,12.318337392857142,8.278571428571432,52.33309523809528,67.92857142857143,10.876190476190477,48.61904761904761,10.504223727775694,7.484461904761902,149,11,15,5,3,48,25,28,0.0,0.698,0.302,0.7964,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,7,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133336697877838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616798946029394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8502231994637443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739254391127672,0.17999179326776013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21132213650062606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230891291427788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27322699785791865,0.1834212381600569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mora66_,2018/04/19,"I am emotionally damaged and suicidal TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts and intentions

I wanna get all my thoughts out. I am getting constantly heartbroken by people I love. But I still love them. Everytime I feel I am getting up, I am pushed down. I am a hyper sensitive introvert and everyone knows that. I am hopeless. I took a huge amount of damage. There’s nothing called moving on. That’s not an option I got. I only got two choices, wait till I am dead or die right now. I no longer have control over my tears. The damage  is really enormous and relatively to a hypersensitive weak kid. To the extent that I don’t feel the anti depressants effect anymore. I am hopeless 😩. 2 months had a great happiness for me. And the other 4 months I am getting teared apart. All of this is because someone who doesn’t like me. So they destroyed my life apart. It’s not recognized as a crime but it deserves a life sentence. I don’t feel that I should be alive anymore. I mean my life had been a constant abuse to my sensitivity. I guess no matter how better life gets, it’s filled with tears and heartaches. I can’t sleep at night so easy due to pain. I can’t eat either. I am gonna die anyways. Why would I live in the heartache when I can end it all right now? I have the pills right now. It’s just a glass of water and I will take em all and the sad story will end. I am stuck in a corner. I want to commit suicide but I don’t have the courage to do so😩💔",0.7662368168744003,3.1189144060402723,2.737953978907001,90.5976979865772,86.14765100671141,5.68759348034516,22.943815915627994,7.110495986334442,0.8904006519654843,1135,43,240,17,35,379,164,298,0.225,0.649,0.126,-0.9833,0,0,0,0,1,5,33.0,0,0,2,3,12,17,1,0,18,0,32,12,1,5,5,43,55,18,6,4,8,0,3,1,0,5,7,0,0,1,12,10,2,2,8,0,0,4,10,10,0,1,9,3,41,7,23,40,7,34,0,7,0,2,7,16,0,3,15,159,53,0,0.0,0.12588773764046587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107409941035269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476842821067415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939686410551909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849214851576512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22963493171674684,0.11916733215337065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151214189097494,0.0,0.22053945653947615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871929234143213,0.0,0.11951586852212352,0.18821022493026096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152551028712348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116812014259113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775536889257362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995412558128425,0.11713994095887358,0.11704529545009068,0.0,0.0,0.11310407806494355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058391693366075866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001873545587527,0.05190791377279403,0.0,0.09381984830542403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178781247854448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573635180899935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696139390444344,0.11292591411699908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997075259085636,0.0,0.10194881879434953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808071821793299,0.11305646896668065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365970587320131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806585526012897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722082971715522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632577112050964,0.0,0.09002446623736292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485062006039341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486576123467033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988605472380972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686997381982242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804659211031715,0.0,0.0,0.10378987284103673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266843621745735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958732320189187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547626910970598,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whoamihh,2018/04/19,"I'm a stalker. 27F . Broke up with my bf recently and unfriended him. Now i can't stop stalking him because i miss him so bad. I'm obsessed with idea to find something new about him.
",-0.02947368421052232,2.2782076315789475,1.9687368421052616,94.48415789473684,91.10526315789473,5.145263157894737,26.02105263157895,6.742157984588678,1.135720000000001,142,7,31,2,5,47,30,38,0.26,0.6920000000000001,0.048,-0.8057,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,5,4,0,5,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,17,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061954234860136,0.2413804632152644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619106455644976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447003462885846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824316028739799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909739435005877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048380950959187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33104978386258793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,havenoahnung,2018/04/19,"No thoughts, blank mind I'm currently in a state where my mind feels completely blank and empty. I have been struggling with this for about half a year now.

I have been avoiding all kinds of social situations because I feel like I have nothing to say, I can't come up with any topics, anything interesting, not even questions when someone else is talking. I can't even have an actual conversation with my boyfriend anymore either ( which puts a ton of pressure on our relationship ). I didn't used to be like this, in fact, I was the complete opposite. I have gone through a period of pretty serious depression but have always been very social and out-going. I feel like I have lost my personality.

Do you guys thing it is depression? Or what could it be? I'm terrified that I will be stuck like this forever.

Thank you so much in advance!!",4.894056603773585,6.558023389937109,5.533474842767293,78.99002358490569,69.81761006289308,9.073584905660377,30.86006289308176,9.516144504307137,2.899708176100629,665,28,124,15,12,215,105,159,0.173,0.723,0.104,-0.8904,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,2,0,2,7,14,0,3,6,0,22,0,0,1,2,22,34,6,0,1,4,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,0,2,9,6,0,1,5,0,0,4,5,7,0,1,9,4,18,7,16,20,4,16,0,3,0,0,12,6,0,2,9,88,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.13788036007879229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756604923913633,0.0,0.0,0.09608323068160483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012344332981425,0.0,0.0,0.11627106606527594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613013541618912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171032620089099,0.29628340974759104,0.0,0.0,0.11280996017243533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24338874328267854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803112153527755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664372805762894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143240525692776,0.20187769957831989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029935390161849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990103992311873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713360829791244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761120358135109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542366286138167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853287663768108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386568871024388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355732385494376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337050054922764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374449844009582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203722726079282,0.15827908885665665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169445556210895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236086546801896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881783958808932,0.0,0.28805827842265963,0.11971603576009505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477088080346389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356495139068105,0.0,0.13008245427210538,0.0,0.0,0.09386795615135868,0.0,0.0,0.11216986189958264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203070142450193,0.0,0.11658048565747307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098725038342728
mentalhealth,thr00waw4yy,2018/04/19,"Feeling unsafe in mental institution Hey there, I am normally a rather rational person who has total control over her emotions, but this situation is really putting me on edge. 
I am currently in a psychotherapy clinic in Austria to get treatment for PTSD and am actually pleased to say I am already feeling a positive change or at least I did. 

On Monday a new patient got admitted and when I saw her I was in complete shock: she looks exactly like my abuser (I am talking same eyes, hair, overall body shape and even her voice and gestures are terrifyingly similar). To keep things short: I tried to ignore the triggers  since she befriended my group of friends here and ended up having horrifying flashbacks, night terrors and laying down in the middle of the street as a result of a nervous breakdown. 

The therapists and doctors here tell me there's not much I can do other than ignore her and just isolate myself. Now I am sitting here feeling helpless because no-one acknowledges my issue and I feel like I can't continue treatment as long as she's here. What should I do? 

I feel horrible not seeing my friends, but when I hang out with them and she's present as well, I just end up feeling unsafe like my past is on repeat, crying and having flashbacks. ",7.14570820668693,7.632336582978728,7.426215805471124,71.71750000000002,64.02127659574468,9.948328267477203,37.63677811550152,9.784248007369934,3.862720364741641,1007,49,168,19,14,328,147,235,0.16,0.698,0.142,-0.8735,1,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,14,12,0,2,10,0,19,5,3,3,2,40,32,20,0,3,8,0,7,3,2,1,2,2,0,1,5,13,0,4,8,0,0,2,3,6,1,0,4,13,33,6,28,27,4,35,0,1,4,0,19,18,0,1,17,129,38,1,0.0,0.16437181487302413,0.13538001510600242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309149264356126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456823747096681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409724009953213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675745414961153,0.0,0.1454552789982753,0.0,0.15559697097399933,0.0,0.0,0.15238788099823852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199555851330092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560520554528767,0.2457463834785981,0.0,0.0,0.09162955010214296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208749303791724,0.09910840819845557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436419067495865,0.0,0.0724804566807325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095468307937004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479759246141424,0.0,0.12330918578490252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033287312893287,0.0,0.0,0.12277127374726605,0.11649787026720468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398067426972999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019821713444377,0.0,0.0,0.13398585029396856,0.0,0.13018827168772226,0.13592549015645766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132433039633529,0.0,0.1211332797393708,0.0,0.15228337076965034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216740360779633,0.13946150097948934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887369309904593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032329517917773,0.0,0.0,0.1105494787744584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475850572502795,0.1559378109416853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150554601102763,0.12125572916759315,0.0,0.0,0.16107568380999165,0.09216573930093136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418824846063102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473451356188495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ifeelzero,2018/04/19,fuck this god damnedt hing why do i have to shar e Af fukcing body with it  fuckign make it go away [please is ntof  ucking kidna it wants tot kilil thme fucking stop it please go away please please please pelase please please plase please please please,1.917946428571426,4.7512541875000025,0.11345238095238308,106.46250000000002,90.45833333333334,2.7428571428571438,15.190476190476188,3.1291,-1.5770273809523805,203,4,43,0,7,53,34,48,0.092,0.522,0.386,0.9449,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,13,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633806754744112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657942550012844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607637145046215,0.0,0.0,0.0988288980658498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058038344087274714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9544259490083198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269226962884581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128407616021119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845688243317256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Armadeagle,2018/04/19,"I know Im not right, but I'm afraid that if I go after an official diagnosis then I'll get told it's all made up and I'm imagining it Has anyone felt like this? What did you do?",-2.9542857142857137,-1.4125069047619032,1.0785714285714327,98.01642857142859,106.14285714285714,5.257142857142857,13.142857142857142,6.868970318607317,-0.4439428571428571,138,3,37,3,7,51,35,42,0.0,0.904,0.096,0.5588,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,9,11,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,1,3,1,2,7,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27964545114554257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840025155311749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089507264542517,0.0,0.2272935776302205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320009011960419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197950745125932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19538915756317046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784303324864895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415442591846876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382157218126709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,benjibxttns,2018/04/19,"boyfriend has cotard's and i dont know what to do USA, 
i dont know how to help my boyfriend. he believes that he died and doesnt belong here anymore. its been over a year since his ""death"" and recently hes been feeling like his death is catching up with him. he thinks he may actually die soon, and i dont know what to do. he sees a psychologist, but the psychologist doesnt treat him properly. therapy hasnt worked for him in the past, multiple tries, he doesnt want to try again.",3.5166571428571416,4.353923179999999,4.495428571428572,88.27700000000002,72.2,8.514285714285714,27.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,1.7092714285714292,378,13,87,7,7,123,61,100,0.121,0.8270000000000001,0.051,-0.7629,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,15,0,0,1,0,14,22,6,4,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,2,10,2,9,19,0,9,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,1,6,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.17221748726370098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501917824415347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883075358026295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36631348939152936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6204942056943279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923279518698138,0.12607622338702515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182897694963313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909637842230569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621844507784589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846862735627854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425115597528082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063045744190458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598477834875864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018184613236944,0.0,0.0,0.11308025002397175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396345349342457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409154854073996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847839657772994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364632080386652
mentalhealth,A_Berk,2018/04/19,"Late childhood voices Hello peeps I'm a 20 year old male and as a child of around 10/11 I had an episode of a few months of hearing voices telling me to do 'bad things'.

I've done a bit of research and it seems to be children often do experience voices (around 12% apparently) but all these examples are of children much younger than I was (5, 7) and I can't really seem to find any saying these voices were negative.

I can't remember what they said, I remember it being the voice of a man, I was obviously frightened and told my parents but they just let it pass. Haven't had any experiences of that since that initial episode and am inclined to just agree and say it was a childhood thing.

Should I be concerned, I've been really interested in people experiences and stories relating to mental illness and been hearing that you normally develop these conditions at around 21-23 and got hit with a bit of anxiety.

tl:dr heard 'commanding' voices as a child (10/11) none since then but want to know of should be concerned

(Should be noted no family history with psychosis or the like that I know of)",6.097053701015966,6.569929169811324,6.688867924528303,76.15250362844705,66.26415094339623,10.296661828737301,33.76052249637155,10.214889679676881,3.411127285921625,872,37,164,20,13,286,124,212,0.093,0.85,0.057,-0.823,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,0,11,0,25,1,0,0,2,35,38,16,0,5,6,1,0,1,0,3,1,12,0,6,14,14,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,13,12,13,2,26,15,6,13,0,0,0,0,19,5,0,4,8,112,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722642626917287,0.0,0.09689341486588678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382587860621689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575456684359644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27655658129004296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961563249215027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716889852808493,0.11940237262893147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576358519486565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130038238103067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855066961721456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392164113846204,0.0,0.1428763181941012,0.0,0.0,0.1295169097169213,0.0,0.06187895110872978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764198951883715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109761574535236,0.0,0.09310857970590837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240984494392948,0.0,0.0,0.13290680190445492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063928835641995,0.0,0.0,0.08780906430495325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228137190221312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28695880659100603,0.0,0.12048124925213335,0.2014478646059772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23061030440737804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954645966777585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070512203420213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682925744907232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210276358792603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470647188277206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156392895232638
mentalhealth,keegan112099,2018/04/19,"18 year old Canadian wondering if I should try and get mental health treatment. So for nearly 2 years I've had fairly depressive symptoms and recently I have been considering getting help but I have a few issues preventing me.  

First being while I'm Canadian I have no damn clue how our insurance works and can't seem to find a good source that might shed some light on it for me. 


Second, kinda related to the first.  I can't find price points anywhere.  I work a part time job and that's it.  No way I'm attending therapy if it leaves me broker than I already am. I have issues but I've lived the past two or so years with them and while it hasn't been pleasent if it's at the cost of other comforts I don't want to do it yet.


Thirdly. I don't want my parents knowing.  I have my own issues with them but I also live under their roof.  Again I have no idea how our insurance works and don't know whether theirs covers me AND even if it did I wouldn't want to use it as that means they might find out.

Sorry if this post is kind of a mess.  I'm just super uninformed and frustrated that I can't find  the info I'm looking for.",1.8315899919289789,3.590956186440682,3.3928571428571463,90.75375706214693,78.23728813559322,6.8681194511702985,22.255044390637607,7.793537801064563,0.8788824051654558,884,26,195,14,21,292,133,236,0.126,0.8079999999999999,0.067,-0.8146,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,5,6,9,8,2,0,8,0,25,2,0,3,0,46,41,26,0,10,11,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,14,11,0,1,11,0,3,1,11,4,0,5,4,2,28,4,18,32,4,22,0,1,1,0,9,6,1,12,13,134,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634283920766892,0.09155781254075793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861028561622204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561973115109598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185680618168966,0.19477069840989386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196328617088226,0.0,0.0,0.09602899077468173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169778324708028,0.0,0.0,0.07674040204546183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924555783219252,0.0,0.35849423033461,0.11361390820562793,0.0,0.0,0.119223978416713,0.12584169578947346,0.0,0.0,0.12122864496044007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021939787813205,0.0,0.09614297592273396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471344755171257,0.0,0.0,0.11537924484072105,0.24291212761153336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013825932780728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712787497804884,0.1239817850835655,0.10929389963659428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823029392758354,0.0,0.10965001264537276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304531087825187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422762476248217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816246279190072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899920855742747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092958020056955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676018619573755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773136524457269,0.0,0.11184033936304758,0.0,0.0,0.0988828173326161,0.0,0.0,0.20258794953858208,0.09087703234017694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415979362679935,0.25005079939319025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211839042364539
mentalhealth,DrMoney25,2018/04/19,"Multiple personality disorder ? All my life I’ve struggled with some sort of identity crisis just never truly knowing who I am and what my priorities are. Sometimes I’m very calm, confident and efficient 100% focused on the task at hand. Some days I am unmotivated, depressed, and irritable. Some days I am rather mischievous, fickle, spontaneous, and foolish, acting with little self control. There is no on or off switch for my behavior, however I wake up feeling is me for the day. These different sides of me have completely different interests (I no longer feel my passion to grow as a martial artist in my depressed state, I find it difficult to do the job I do everyday in my playful state, I am distracted or irritated by things that calm me would brush off without a second thought) However they do not have different names and I don’t black out and struggle to recall what happened when I am not “normal”. I have never seen an actual case of multiple personality disorder outside of fictional depictions, so I don’t know much about what the signs are. Multiple personality disorder has been a bit of an after thought in my mind, I thought maybe I was bipolar but today a coworker told me she thought I might have multiple personalities and her words left me unsettled because that was the first time someone other than myself has mentioned it to me. Was hoping for some expert insight or general thoughts on the matter.",8.741960132890362,8.756742620155041,9.068460686600222,62.86953488372096,60.78294573643411,12.952823920265779,42.45957918050941,12.28987398476788,5.7036602436323385,1148,62,183,36,14,382,155,258,0.131,0.7809999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.8008,6,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,6,12,0,3,12,0,26,5,2,1,3,50,40,14,0,4,9,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,11,10,0,1,11,2,0,2,9,6,0,2,11,6,32,6,31,27,7,29,0,2,2,1,12,14,0,11,11,142,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.1032614743492696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450465290267199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552402668362426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109464092575678,0.0,0.11868201236700332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047283375590954,0.0,0.18227890075876726,0.0,0.0,0.3316666304489326,0.3638240466457346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070078322209529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967142090248652,0.09000731664124806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935730315705772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050994921713506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050063802635539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630777578009015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496975266975727,0.0,0.07474120357143574,0.0,0.1060557620781209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630672663833324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122544046123311,0.1068443289294094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778717827827719,0.0,0.1632241548562016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367753692605867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36957895296010623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038951036408427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965783342002406,0.0,0.10465505655111912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221244407590956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029966806587114,0.0,0.0,0.4200317329707368,0.06170235324928311,0.0,0.10030150850653308,0.10111203842303942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730955462014481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200316650825343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516888514685127,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cl4rabelle,2018/04/19,"How will I know whether my therapist is right for me? I'm a 20yo female who has just started seeing a therapist for CBT to deal with depression and anxiety. I've had one session so far and my therapist seemed lovely, however I've seen a lot of mention on this sub of finding the ""right"" therapist for you. So my question is what should I be looking out for to know whether or not this therapist is right for me?",7.387771084337348,5.796815939759039,7.8567168674698795,75.69182228915666,64.3012048192771,12.155421686746989,40.02710843373494,11.20814326018867,4.359460240963855,325,16,66,8,4,108,54,83,0.071,0.883,0.047,-0.2406,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,1,0,17,17,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,8,1,12,12,1,7,0,1,3,1,6,6,0,4,1,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752125334061906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490207524994567,0.12105650888375825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846121471292796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448648453949418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180275763949998,0.0,0.0,0.11949157079294193,0.12685291014587866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524110408088493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574494667901319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600897702081929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200107797294996,0.1279524981004293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948283505861147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8159536536013617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KleptomanicWeirdo,2018/04/19,Same meds? Schizophrenia Today I heard that someone I know takes the exact same (but lower dosage) meds as me. She takes it for her schizophrenia but I have been diagnosed with something else. So is it normal to have the same meds for different conditions or is someone being unprofessional? PS: my meds don't work but hers do. ,2.8084999999999987,5.831577183333337,3.068333333333332,86.4225,85.5,5.666666666666668,22.5,7.1686216300943375,1.1075000000000004,261,9,46,4,8,80,42,60,0.106,0.894,0.0,-0.7514,2,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,8,1,0,0,1,11,12,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,8,0,5,9,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,34,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823638198534531,0.0,0.1877195360113858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009333055476642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987433149714312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7983026361042957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760409158457052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044718764732854,0.13832067944901608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701827403416594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030853492197362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080373023922812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Omania_Omaz,2018/04/20,"Our new Mental Health, Support Discord Server called The Outcasts The Outcasts! A new Mental Health, Support Discord Server!

We are currently a small community, but we are always looking to expand! Currently we do movie nights, game night, and host public talk shows, and we take all suggestions into consideration! We offer Peer-to-Peer Support and advice and are always looking for new people to offer that support! 

This place was founded with people who are considered Outcasts in mind, because this place is where you can be yourself without all the judgement and ridicule. A place where you can love what you want and be who you are and embrace it without other people out casting you. A place where people are kind and supportive of each other, no matter who that person is or what their background is, kinda like a family. 

We do not keep any personal information.

Threats are not tolerated and privacy will not be leaked by others without serious punishment, the only time this is okay is if you consent to it. This means that you can post your private life if you would like to. As long as it follows the rules!

We are a privately owned Mental Health discord server.

We have open partnerships and automatic partnerships. Sorta as a Looking for group thing. Other than that no other sponsorship.

Thank you for looking at this post, and i hope to see you there soon! https://discord.gg/FFXQmYz ",6.96211382113821,8.947737406504068,6.480650406504066,72.94138211382115,65.1788617886179,8.71869918699187,33.178861788617894,9.150863307647796,3.240920325203252,1126,48,171,20,18,349,130,246,0.071,0.726,0.203,0.988,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,9,11,1,0,5,16,3,0,12,1,25,5,0,0,2,48,44,18,0,5,10,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,23,24,0,1,4,2,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,5,22,12,22,37,4,26,0,0,5,1,36,13,0,6,12,133,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838991265615059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288092742309916,0.0,0.0,0.05838616334580901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233804192190879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767028587981487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093897507535303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413850932750142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737880816708218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527604412561089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631424667189396,0.0,0.08940755662356034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060643815132500035,0.0838914465635152,0.0,0.0,0.0759813408006349,0.2883952935616665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748990400819207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352417837229374,0.0,0.0,0.25957302809233346,0.0,0.08669177671668396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24876563326872486,0.0,0.16114322410165188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529863091221476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380916060774021,0.14993522066281784,0.358811986989038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644558392456898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841745113263294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871513619932607,0.0,0.0,0.0645542866581652,0.06900914712399027,0.0,0.07904621201511018,0.0,0.0,0.05704002438210819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006430087941195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064108135002108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482912052684776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099082911081104,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,squishycat000,2018/04/20,"Inability to function and do simplest of tasks I’ve never posted here before but I really need some advice or information. I have anxiety and depression and have been struggling for the past 6 years. I tried meds and they made me worse, i tried counselling and it wasn’t for me, and I’m seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a month or so. 

Now that that’s out of the way, I think I am experiencing executive dysfunction. AKA I can’t do simple tasks or get things done. 

There is a mountain of dirty dishes in my kitchen sink, and when I need to eat something that requires a plate/bowl/fork, I just don’t eat. Even getting a glass of water seems impossible somehow. 

I’m in university and I have a final in five days. I consider myself intelligent and hardworking, but my grades are shit because I procrastinate studying. 

I will sleep for 12 hours, go grocery shopping for 30 mins,  and then have to lie down for 3 or 4 hours before I feel I have the energy to do anything again. 

My apartment is a wreck. I start projects and abandon them within minutes, never returning to continue them or even clean up. My home feels like an enormous mountain of things that need attending to (wash bathtub, do dishes, repot plants, sweep floor, sort through old makeup) and it’s so overwhelming I just don’t do any of it. I frequently break my things and lose things I need. A couple of days ago I stepped on a pushpin and it went into my foot. I guess I dropped it at some point and never picked it back up 

A while ago I was told that regular exercise can be beneficial for anxiety and depression. I have become so obsessed with it that I can’t work out or go for a walk or do anything active without obsessing over calories, my weight, how I want to look VS how I look now (ideally, i want to lose 20 lbs. i didnt even think i was ugly until i started working out???? What???????) so while I want to exercise to feel better and get better and be productive, it comes along with obsessive feelings of physical inadequacy. 

I feel lazy, unmotivated, not hard working, and like a slob. It sucks because I would consider myself to be tidy (I normally insist upon a clean home), hardworking, and smart. Now I just feel like a bum that’s going nowhere. 

Please help. Even if it’s just advice on ways to feel better temporarily or something",3.7632144144144135,5.625592813333334,4.991465465465467,80.93840540540543,73.08888888888889,8.242642642642641,28.38438438438439,8.918530864059932,2.3532024024024025,1826,73,350,38,37,604,228,450,0.168,0.718,0.114,-0.9833,0,0,2,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,3,11,23,20,2,5,19,0,32,13,3,4,3,82,68,42,0,11,18,0,9,3,0,2,3,0,6,0,22,28,7,3,11,3,1,8,11,12,0,2,9,13,50,8,51,54,2,66,0,6,3,0,6,21,2,15,35,239,72,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614830266775293,0.14648654849871068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618875165677666,0.0,0.1264178638100717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598889233147385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353456324470744,0.0,0.10073651259920273,0.09125431240468253,0.1406178769605144,0.0,0.0,0.21922887713429506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117528464076117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914244851498601,0.0,0.10657432101347088,0.0,0.14233190906832832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455544372509198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909476831991638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829570071133889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924485578777918,0.11805656248420934,0.0,0.09051312812955603,0.0,0.07028193144866864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950657343641406,0.0,0.14087537718821114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102224035322733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401698049776141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538270099080205,0.0,0.16576193280319154,0.0,0.162740622685147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110118357580335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877064873181855,0.18487550221274596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818305057908531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177924852766486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595156459553453,0.0,0.0,0.2450655674959737,0.1911796055663086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095628016605905,0.0,0.0,0.08670245550662785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887620083233829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069892052233268,0.07810860833367825,0.0,0.07913320365951175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293255584097587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584250360675756,0.07521992618415567,0.0,0.0,0.08481476132283783,0.0,0.0,0.0826860221716478,0.0,0.0,0.12721960260703088,0.0,0.0,0.11696671219073572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637900155209682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21957310299840552,0.10588725807326893,0.0,0.0,0.04818008938731451,0.0,0.0,0.07895301869077771,0.0,0.11219573638398926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620548673941292,0.13116990203011591,0.0,0.10061663513042522,0.0,0.07659545462763045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964885326661142,0.0,0.18045890151969876,0.0,0.08420331003392623,0.0586953886651341,0.0,0.0,0.05320866065243717
mentalhealth,Zeeme01,2018/04/20,"Therapy website? Saw this in a recent post of mine.
How reliable is E-counseling?
Anyone have experiences? Good or bad.",1.7528571428571451,3.473938571428576,4.590857142857144,69.62914285714288,115.66666666666669,9.299047619047617,28.009523809523806,8.238735603445708,4.421049523809524,94,5,14,4,5,33,21,21,0.16899999999999998,0.71,0.121,-0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843598179539176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395604620995368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978106647187165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411035367381248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894866208109507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015470228434286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465073541956114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,parTiHKAL,2018/04/20,"32 years on this earth. frustrated with pill pushing doctors. what is it with doctors and pushing pills?  I say I know what works for me, because I actually do.  I’ve been on just about everything under the sun and now I can include alpha blocker and nerve pain meds in pursuit of *sleep*.

**anxiety**.  that’s all I care to be treated for.  I mentioned sleep, because hey, *sleep*.  I made clear my intolerance to SSRI’s, and fuck those other weird antideps, too.  not a psychopath—check.

basically, I’m good to my body with the exception of occasional binge drinking through some key years.
so, why do I always get treated like a drug seeker when I ask for a benzo?  I GET it.  I was on them for years illegitimately but THEY WORKED, holy shit did they!  and now I’m fixated on valium because that’s the one for me!!!

but no.  let’s try Zoloft and blood pressure medication before we get to that because clearly, there are still more drugs to shove down my throat.",1.7228510334996443,4.417674442622953,3.117415062960326,86.88372059871705,85.99453551912569,5.805559515324304,24.896412449512948,7.255503002510835,1.3481719648372528,745,31,144,12,23,242,120,183,0.111,0.8270000000000001,0.062,-0.8698,0,0,3,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,3,2,11,11,3,1,6,0,10,18,7,1,3,22,20,10,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,10,10,1,1,1,1,0,2,2,6,0,1,4,1,20,5,25,14,3,16,0,0,0,1,8,7,2,1,8,93,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.13508654710651996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151838567842036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058976585135647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941224809670662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33753966376476224,0.0,0.11779271905463598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376319811599146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113739460599392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28337549953742275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356075305330341,0.32106693593125635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244108858550615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797520152573247,0.21697001476999545,0.0,0.0,0.11610751566149817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607685214056238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155283406946514,0.0,0.06762932282611586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098468431979807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376319811599146,0.1394524596756372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380294223748817,0.0,0.1472980106809028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008414350891682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420951811837182,0.0,0.0,0.41558633610199897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054942414326144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398407329615896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491046715864874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155564045470556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674308395624238
mentalhealth,PlatypuSofDooM42,2018/04/20,"I need to make some people smile. I had a very rough last few days. My chronic pain has been getting the best of me. 

I am planning on seeking out patient treatment to try and get things back on track. 

But what I want right now is to make some people happy. I have a surplus of games from humble bundle please choose one title you would like. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PpaRI4w12oYRYvYFw5tbR9AevCAGT7Tc7uY7nAUQfB8/edit?usp=drivesdk",8.062000000000001,11.815693200000002,5.335714285714285,74.61928571428574,67.0,4.571428571428573,21.42857142857143,5.288315135182226,-0.06028571428571405,364,8,56,1,7,101,58,70,0.044,0.7390000000000001,0.218,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,2,0,11,13,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,8,3,9,10,4,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560996265763872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669662763047103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406029953660567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26581621823956303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708025464826369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736154349039332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428194873930586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396141757509196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862672559000287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723810319486697,0.0,0.2706885570910437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35272354922819665,0.0,0.0,0.2792434786736265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172473981749572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16900520080980427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271389526901812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989812921116385,0.15004562525170545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071113105383466,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,musiclovermina,2018/04/20,"I'm seeing the same man everywhere?? I'm really hoping that this is just coincidences because it's really freaking me out. I only noticed this recently as well after the last incident, so until now, I never connected the pieces or suspected anything.

I keep seeing the same well-dressed man everywhere. And I mean, EVERYWHERE. The first time was probably years ago in SLC, Utah, or St George, Utah. I was crossing a street and a man in a black business suit was crossing in the opposite direction at the same time. He looked me in the eyes and gave a faint smile. I'm used to having guys staring and hitting on me, so I gave him one of my usual angry glares and went about my day.

I'm not sure how many times I've seen this guy, but the most memorable places have been Phoenix, Arizona, Clearwater, Florida, and Huntington Beach, California. It's always the same scenario as listed above: crossing the street from opposite directions and making eye contact. He looks almost like some sort of cross between [Warren Jeffs] (https://www.biography.com/people/warren-jeffs-20771031) and [David Miscavige] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Miscavige).

I spend some time studying about cults (I'm a former Mormon and still very bitter) and I've been thinking that I'm possibly just paranoid from reading so many stories. The cities I listed above are cities where some cults can be found, especially Utah and Florida. Maybe I'm just noticing people who look like they can be Mormon or Scientology leaders? After seeing that guy in Huntington this past weekend, it left me very shook and I suddenly remember all those other times I saw creepy guy.",7.983894736842108,9.58349110877193,7.152631578947371,70.49842105263161,62.47368421052632,10.210526315789474,33.24561403508772,10.307518312809881,3.638298245614037,1326,52,209,30,19,408,166,285,0.045,0.914,0.041,0.2121,0,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,1,1,13,8,1,1,17,0,13,3,2,3,3,45,39,23,0,1,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,7,13,13,0,1,6,3,1,6,2,3,1,2,11,13,18,5,21,25,10,41,2,0,12,0,15,13,0,10,24,123,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836596695091868,0.0,0.11111789220172123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233382463696346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131677294511127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676447398797931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156483817843483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438887347649287,0.0,0.12167010347142285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395009671717354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102157362222604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863298617370904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045329885557946,0.0,0.0,0.12056648107423155,0.0,0.0,0.10842620152652407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795541813253609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740716480445478,0.2250071955282164,0.11148173887196353,0.12087610629195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558495395678238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25267440065275565,0.0,0.0,0.07519442967788564,0.08439576148366328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593100655049023,0.07693087173904273,0.0,0.1159373881518148,0.0,0.0,0.12509914949780115,0.0,0.0,0.11964170130484385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099749958765356,0.0,0.14217720580745113,0.0,0.10956698962122838,0.0,0.12570451193724974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652801202618982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861876505563455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458552743087494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110347424323568,0.0,0.0,0.3235301212934647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584026560879597,0.12221499107490373,0.18311956876077184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199546164760096,0.102867956624132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145941260656229
mentalhealth,TrashLaw,2018/04/20,"I just can’t do it anymore. I’m losing control of my mind. I’m a law school student and I think I’m having a breakdown. My anxiety levels have been through the roof the past week and things are only getting worse. Things don’t feel real, it almost feels like I’m dreaming sometimes. I’m borderline unable to socialize with my classmates because I’m convinced they won’t like me, or that they think I’m a weirdo and don’t want to associate with me. I know that whenever I do force myself to socialize that’s not the impression I get from them at all, but it’s just so hard to fight through the thought and I just can’t do it anymore. Worse, I’ve been completely unable to get a job for the summer and if I can’t find one my entire career is in jeopardy. And now I’m too depressed to even apply to jobs because all I can think of is that I’m a failure who no one wants. Just a week ago I felt great and optimistic , but today all I can think of is that I’m a complete failure who should just quit everything and stop wasting everyone’s time. I’m haven’t spoke to my girlfriend in 2 days because I can’t express what I’m feeling and don’t want to burden her. All I can think about going to school every day is how great it would feel to step in front of a bus and not have to worry about anything anymore (I also know I’m too much of a pussy to actually do it, so don’t worry about that). I’ve been skipping meals because I don’t think I deserve to eat. Last time I got this low I carved the words “Do better” to remind myself not to be such a fucking failure anymore (that actually worked though; the reminder in my arm actually motivated me to work harder in class and I excelled last quarter). 

I feel trapped in my own life and I’m watching my own mind drift away out of control. I don’t know what to do or go from here. It just all feels dark and fills me with anxiety. ",3.728945221445223,4.157556972222224,4.980808080808083,86.48031468531471,71.44949494949495,7.708469308469309,29.119658119658126,7.61054688173877,1.6041098679098669,1475,55,321,16,26,491,172,396,0.156,0.741,0.103,-0.9694,2,1,0,0,1,0,28.0,0,0,3,9,20,14,2,0,17,0,35,5,1,4,5,70,77,23,0,6,14,0,8,2,1,3,1,1,0,0,21,17,2,3,19,1,0,6,16,6,0,3,7,10,38,8,44,66,8,31,0,3,1,1,12,11,1,4,16,205,59,11,0.0,0.0,0.24326977427111074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365978602756408,0.0,0.08320886193795785,0.0,0.0,0.06645201777666625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127136762982624,0.0,0.3296364897747108,0.0,0.0,0.06838110948699141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807163483099003,0.0,0.0,0.20261873978921952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349185458220846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424961313896314,0.0,0.1863989549539508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718037611425167,0.0,0.07157065323960478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502817890432575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488427015971338,0.0,0.0700121499606852,0.07940200001427627,0.07468152520760021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25209567608518496,0.05936395676503463,0.07978540322527401,0.0,0.07594844042451086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682111716354181,0.1302430371423931,0.0,0.09445099450276916,0.0,0.06645963878274139,0.18322775364308547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443789210337598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492035443498626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700252944431074,0.1354690213641429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869331822009737,0.08119323229151375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296341591971616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678069899388996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061085283484453086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261629956428827,0.06319842040105021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932474531650731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838305936970635,0.0,0.09458169138353296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819562355283094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169412265166603,0.0,0.0,0.08218428716666605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947216141713126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041087355821748,0.31946821818077425,0.08164161506384256,0.06596911740182952,0.09690814921725686,0.0,0.07876550116165948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703691198479976,0.0,0.13330955212761614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099007687227803,0.16877649168073594,0.16936429627096405,0.059029171131252924,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpecialSnowflake01,2018/04/20,"I feel different then other people, yet i dont know what i have I have a great understanding of the world and how it works, and how people work, with enough context i can tell what people are going to do with a great accuracy, and when i get something wrong, it seems to affect my perception of the world, like edits it.

I find it hard to feel emotions when others are upset or happy, but i can feel emotions towards people, and i can feel strong emotion when something effects me.

Even when things are perfect, i seem to find some issue.

When i am upset, i let it control me even though i know what i should do. 

I treat people well, but i treat concepts like things i want.

Things are black and white to me. Ill like you or i dont, for example. theres no inbetween. Or maybe there are like states. So like with friendship. it would be like, weak friend, okay friend, strong friend, potential boyfriend, boyfriend

I categorise alot, but my categorys seem to be accurate

I socialise differently with different people.

I find it easy to socialise.

I say what im thinking with little filter, but i know what offends people, so i dont say it, and i can understand how others will interpret what i say. If i say something that hurts something, which isnt oftern, i will can put myself in there shoes and understand them.

I dont have trouble reading emotions",4.017130036630037,5.8489988192307685,4.487802197802201,84.93910256410257,72.34615384615384,7.26007326007326,26.996336996337,7.957251820313856,1.653941391941391,1063,38,203,15,21,336,120,260,0.092,0.647,0.262,0.9942,3,0,4,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,1,7,18,26,1,2,5,1,28,3,1,6,1,51,45,27,0,4,8,0,5,6,3,4,2,4,0,0,22,12,0,1,20,1,0,2,6,7,1,0,0,11,37,19,17,38,3,15,0,1,2,0,10,5,0,9,13,146,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558766274663326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23918175252535315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577369543209651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433519459771892,0.0,0.07884817658949497,0.0,0.10080349228749994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433762998648898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20923667217313535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686973539647985,0.0,0.039868596691057086,0.0,0.04336848275562599,0.0,0.0,0.1682631234547618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123294793771603,0.06835837901009631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169096461230771,0.0,0.08242742196796865,0.07964735709529239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581321916114993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803169748558363,0.0,0.22368598529080466,0.07648222857066289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666321193715983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370324095140818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767121868584856,0.0,0.0,0.07633021265622836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427377068277395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084080783340044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349873165330832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669792084723329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209004704983076,0.04889608621586038,0.07497375742155693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23832283636982876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04500935690106349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686114608322543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111085402554107,0.0,0.0,0.05420812356209933,0.08343252699535156,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CurlyLions90s,2018/04/20,"Can't afford therapy; acting slightly odd lately Background: 
20s, underemployed, under appreciated, school loans, average millennial man I guess.

Recent Oddities:
I wake up often at night from very vivid and varied wacky dreams. This has been going on like month now. I'm more irritable. I'm feeling a little depressed lately. Dating life hasn't been very good for like, well never been good, but for like a year it's been non-existent. Stood up twice in the past 6 months, never happened before. Past few weeks I've noticed that I've been talking to myself more, not conversations so relax. Just the things I'm thinking; ""where in this store do they keep the soap?"", ""how much cash is on me?"", ""(New type of object in shop) What the hell is this?"", ""God I'm sleeping"", that kind of stuff. I also find myself storming out of rooms, rooms with only me in them vast majority of the time, never at work or when dealing with others. Idk just restless, frustrated, sometimes angry... I don't even know I'm doing it half the time till I am out of the room. I never say anything, just walk out in a rush feeling restless, frustrated, or angry. 

It's odd; I notice it and it's odd. I'm also not as social... Just in general, introverted heavily.",4.030843454790826,5.8941480897435925,5.198627980206929,79.72678137651825,72.37606837606837,7.490418353576249,25.563652721547452,8.20500826718156,1.711294017094016,959,31,174,15,19,317,145,234,0.168,0.738,0.095,-0.965,2,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,2,1,14,14,3,2,10,0,14,3,2,1,4,30,29,12,0,0,9,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,14,7,0,1,5,3,4,4,9,6,1,2,6,4,13,8,29,23,5,47,1,1,1,0,8,22,1,4,24,111,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963921098873197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271735307118564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621379340796896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868535287390273,0.10750846415772786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244333849426776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622687153624546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408447199550732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093886179275274,0.2093884881944667,0.0,0.0,0.13750481292108988,0.0,0.1103791263701866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094696996530942,0.0,0.12998225012996342,0.0685985612798219,0.0,0.2816078872194271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816502592254806,0.182944251069766,0.12510380574640112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926245533772136,0.0,0.09175807000206213,0.0,0.3850797460152962,0.12055325816741727,0.0,0.11713640128943037,0.0,0.0,0.2842199169642119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493227750437176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23831224538723264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324604554998307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926296438344352,0.0,0.12632589160308236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491151575460414,0.12723966886657273,0.0,0.0,0.12345152784349132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289060683334415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032669006371456,0.0,0.0,0.14274411631826453,0.0,0.08292577268240255,0.07998049463290187,0.0,0.0,0.14556869072909326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059814072705954,0.0,0.0,0.10012417491016964,0.0,0.11222940320057093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087144488759642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038087065757125
mentalhealth,porowhale,2018/04/20,"Difficulty remembering childhood abuse Ever since my counsellor started exploring old traumas with me, I've been thinking about them more often and I feel so suffocated because all of the things that happened to me as a child has been swept under the rug for so long, that at times it feels like i'm the only one who remembers the abuse. I've confronted my parents once about it but they basically told me ""I don't remember that happening but if it did, i'm sorry"". It has also been years since all of it happened so it doesn't help that I can't recall some of those memories properly too. 

I know that the things that happened brought me a lot of pain and was the beginning of a huge snowball effect which has caused me so much misery and attributed to my depression. But because the details were fuzzy, I can't help but feel as though the things that happened to me were miniscule in comparison to what people would normally think of when they hear the term abusive. And this make me doubt myself so much because I don't know if what happened to me is valid. 

My counsellor told me to recall my own timeline and recall the first the time I was abused by my mum/dad(not the exact phrasing) and I struggled even with that because there was no first time, It just felt like an occuring event that I lived with throughout my childhood. But the thing is, they weren't always abusive too. They were only abusive when they were angry. Other times, they were good parents, and my family seemed positive and happy to others. I just remember that almost every night was almost the same. 

I would do something that would make them mad, or they would throw accusations at me and tell me that i'm lying, half of them I don't even know what the trigger was. I just know that they would scream, chase after me, hit me, I would remember my sibling and my grandparents telling me to stop crying/screaming(?) so loudly because I sound like a demon and that all the neighbors could hear me, I remember being physically pushed out the front door because I couldn't stop crying and my dad threatened to kick me out if I didn't stop.

There wasn't a proper sequence or time/date for those things, it just happened, more than once. I know it happened often but the thing is, I can only remember maybe three of those episodes at most. I feel shameful saying the same three episodes again and again to my counselor because I feel like I can't convince her that what happened to me was bad, even though I know that she takes what I say seriously. ",7.789793814432992,7.0421207628866025,7.230845360824745,77.77451546391755,63.02061855670103,10.151752577319588,34.8639175257732,9.281916038205594,2.969298556701029,2010,75,380,29,25,627,203,485,0.202,0.7390000000000001,0.059,-0.9976,3,0,1,0,4,0,44.0,0,0,11,3,30,18,2,3,25,0,42,1,0,6,5,89,80,37,0,12,15,3,6,4,1,6,1,7,3,1,44,18,0,3,24,0,0,5,12,11,0,6,22,13,68,7,38,48,14,38,1,1,0,0,29,8,0,14,29,288,112,0,0.0,0.3826553285246563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077994147797518,0.0,0.0,0.04304522655651463,0.04478816175783574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044943081670455735,0.2296859785241721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529489183994235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042976273990638685,0.0,0.059126149163308765,0.0,0.0,0.04636089447051086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665616737269552,0.048689370260198886,0.045351352112359605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074306240263507,0.0,0.13608209168649804,0.07690767124122834,0.05168211399204089,0.0,0.0,0.0915699994022057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045147317844116436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283892959068758,0.057299568330510274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133330168619283,0.0,0.07215786180156762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774906200310048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518811003120948,0.0,0.04752999980821191,0.047634973312833034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576157163896543,0.0,0.0,0.0718595372244679,0.0,0.0540761976802536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791376982921501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050512751543612656,0.05273877918270595,0.0,0.0,0.056482111655612975,0.11464744816546148,0.03647439378735673,0.12281298966661135,0.057275449122558275,0.0,0.119536455234606,0.0,0.0,0.037316685853389917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268264447541401,0.0,0.0,0.08561037221886701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049001844810908135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905207530689213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041438456138556165,0.0,0.06025463140529256,0.03809884540952855,0.0,0.0,0.13500470087852887,0.0,0.05627139833419068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040471011563999376,0.0,0.09409389096698254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145605758393538,0.06898000637299014,0.1057690024906017,0.0,0.1569340321707316,0.0,0.0,0.1028675183691726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294218411842056,0.0,0.0,0.034662657412128754
mentalhealth,Unkn0wnJunk109,2018/04/20,"Is it just my own mind playing tricks on me or is it him? Sorry for the long post but I think this seems like my first step to getting help I guess? And I just want advice from somewhere that isn’t my own head. Also on mobile so sorry for the shit format and spelling mistakes. 


Background: I (18F) have struggled with anxiety and depression for years, never received help because I was too scared to see a doctor and now I’m not entitled to free medications anymore and haven’t got the money to pay for medication. (I know it was partly anxiety because I can’t walk into a situation, speak to anyone or do anything around people without constantly doubting myself and running over the things I’ll do and say a thousand times in my head with every possible outcome I can think of. Partly depression as I’ll be fine and be able to get out of bed one week and then I’ll be unable to force myself out of bed for months at a time; to the point of where I was thrown out of the education system because of it. Oh and a number of failed suicide attempts; no one cared enough to notice my arms or when I spent 2 days unconscious or when I spent 6 months drinking and not starving myself or currently eating the very least I need to survive) 


So to start, I’ve been with my current BF (18M) for 2 years now. He knows a little about my history, but doesn’t seem to understand it what I mean when I try and talk about what I’m feeling and then just give up. That’s now gotten to the point of where I’ve been accidentally taking everything I’m feeling out on him in anger which I only realised/ was told a few weeks ago. Now, I seem to have just gone back to what I was doing when he wasn’t around; not expressing any emotion and leaving it to build up.

He works every weekend while I work 5 days a week, I hate doing anything during the week as I need some sort of sleep to get through the day and don’t like to disturb his family who have his younger brothers to get ready for school. So our only options are to see each other on a Friday night or wait for him to be given early morning shifts so we can see each other in the afternoons. I feel like I’m making all the effort by forcing myself to stay awake to see him and crawling out of bed to see him after I’ve finished work and gotten home. Whereas, he thinks he’s making an effort by doing things on a Friday night or getting one Saturday off in 2 months but he will call in sick last minute or get the night off if his parents want him to so they can go to the bar... 


Does it seem like I’m the one making all the effort or is it all in my head? 
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore and it’s taken me a week to convince myself to post here...

",6.412027649769584,5.0326737383512565,7.006157194060421,80.32685483870969,66.09677419354838,9.548489503328213,31.756528417818732,8.192908349453996,2.1579711213517663,2118,66,443,22,28,701,253,558,0.131,0.7829999999999999,0.086,-0.986,3,0,1,0,0,1,39.0,2,0,1,10,27,22,4,4,28,0,35,13,6,3,4,87,90,46,1,6,21,2,3,4,1,1,4,2,4,0,22,32,3,1,15,4,5,6,13,12,0,6,17,10,49,11,85,68,13,85,0,3,5,0,32,30,1,19,49,300,71,7,0.06842915634023422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686817960638318,0.06065831831658367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054722771602512064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653417284711607,0.0,0.10469623460288363,0.0,0.1357266712533846,0.04784725717022557,0.0,0.11262273025205136,0.12183291393286692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261779734589762,0.0,0.1251413357056214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987381946171713,0.0,0.06976808545307042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394760810063652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323934345097725,0.0,0.1178758641712374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004014110585614,0.05988281584928602,0.0,0.0,0.06703452196152966,0.0,0.07002011029366792,0.0,0.07697359057012021,0.0,0.0707056107659694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153090310839198,0.0,0.06149971338113036,0.0,0.06450891855861693,0.0,0.10379951253515213,0.04888580296225527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058205805425952516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145084592709935,0.06564348209384016,0.038889866498681785,0.0,0.05472904744768252,0.0,0.07538243048006893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755962495398657,0.21068416865148726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173324214029968,0.0,0.0686400231816278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282062424265438,0.0557788955351246,0.0,0.07245659617412778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133724117190565,0.06858399163731163,0.0,0.060557650021135924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370309796546407,0.0,0.0,0.07453941194910224,0.0,0.13787035180083335,0.0,0.0,0.06909394094392632,0.0,0.16385849921562762,0.0,0.0,0.10147870472718408,0.0527767838932648,0.0,0.0,0.19264838312139468,0.0,0.0,0.0779070480387511,0.0,0.0,0.1854774691865134,0.10408691386525748,0.0,0.0,0.0759824800711527,0.14820421588773636,0.0,0.047440160972011286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937534199903186,0.077143592103942,0.13107243241605782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054417611666979164,0.06850952305941606,0.06925395947461792,0.27264589025214564,0.2491813356510943,0.0,0.0,0.07024154562985076,0.0,0.07691723879568307,0.06847857505857001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320167629069428,0.04843450906055257,0.07293637586972612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153701176953979,0.0,0.07485039053471791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051450209454274164,0.055000763815907315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909225817110062,0.13153992100377304,0.0,0.0,0.07980318270937761,0.0,0.0,0.0653869913501652,0.0,0.046458905347226666,0.0,0.0,0.07123716503399763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646122046169084,0.08072257869555324,0.0,0.2744487081652727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596326481184728,0.0,0.1494517224090273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813226629018492
mentalhealth,bitpixi,2018/04/20,"You are not alone! First of all, you can’t be fixed, because you aren’t broken in the first place. It’s natural to go through some dark times.

It might be the things around you, not matching to your needs.

Or maybe you’re feeling a lot of pain?

Where do you feel it in your body or mind specifically? What is it about? 

Can you tell us what’s been going on?

-

If not us, then try this resource: 

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in our national network. These centers provide 24-hour crisis counseling and mental health referrals.",5.101795454545453,7.799361891666668,4.496212121212125,82.25727272727276,71.75,7.03030303030303,29.24242424242424,8.00094639256281,2.055333333333333,537,22,94,8,11,161,88,120,0.158,0.7979999999999999,0.044,-0.9559,1,1,0,0,0,2,28.0,3,8,0,2,3,1,0,0,6,0,10,3,1,0,1,18,15,6,1,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,1,2,11,0,13,11,3,19,0,0,0,0,14,13,0,7,4,64,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191358659416588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649551428379587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295637738544324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058251008567344,0.0,0.0,0.18921070666162407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738519681341406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152299863180492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21061906101249706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969638701360497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824819096637159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753434198773214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615746604960512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867375229922151,0.19657265514940045,0.18709888042114975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739664999318282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971708983415071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359771938558407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268672009166386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489360889200941,0.16195924514453722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231042332419248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804917142507788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580566482830474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457830802075133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4316dhgchg68,2018/04/20,"My mother thinks we’re gaslighting her TLDR: My mother (42) has completely isolated herself  is becoming more aggressive, paranoid and irrational by the day and the whole family is suffering.


So my mother (age 42) has always had some more prominent negative traits, namely overreacting. 
After giving birth to me (at age 25) however she basically entered a downwards spiral and gradually became worse.


So this is the situation:

Since my birth she has been unemployed and she’s not part of any clubs or communities so she spends the whole day at home in front of the tv.

She has cut ties with all of her family and friends and we are not allowed to have guests over.

She is convinced that someone has been breaking into the house and the car.

She is convinced that someone has been spying on her through the electronical devices ( Landline, mobile phone, PC, car navigation system etc.) Because of that she stopped using a mobile, disabled the wifi ( I don’t habe access to ethernet either as she cut my cable multiple times) and cancelled the tv contract.
She is convinced that I’ve been recording her.

She is convinced that I watch her sleep and steal things from her handbag while she is asleep.


She points out insignificant thing (like a stain on the countertop) and claims that 'that hasn’t been there yesterday' and that I had done it to provoke her. 

She repeats questions like 'who did you call on 8.11.17' over and over screaming and crying and doesn’t accept that I don’t remember as an answer 

She purposefully creates problems  just to put the blame on me and generally pushes al responsibility away from herself

She 'tests' me by lying to me just to see how I react 

She absolutely ignores the fact that my father needs to go to work and forbids him to goo to sleep and constantly demands him to take off work.

She keeps me from doing my school work by either turning off the internet/power or barging into my room screaming claiming that I had provoked her. 

I’m basically not allowed out of my room since she finds everything that I do 'suspicious' and would rather not see me.

She has never apologised or even considered that her claims are false, she doesn’t listen to reason and you cant talk things through with her.

She is overall verbally and mentally abusive.

She has violent outburst where she literally pins me to the ground.

She constantly threatens violence 

She writes on the walls just to 'prove her point'

She follows people around to the point where you cant even go to the toilet alone or go to sleep.

She’s been screaming and crying on a daily basis for at least the past year.

When my father tells her that she needs to see a doctor she just brushes it off and when I tell her she need help she thinks that I’m saying it out of malice and that I’m trying to get rid of her

She hast multiple times stated how much she hates us and on one hand says that she’ll go to a battered womens shelter on the other hand that she’ll never move out  'just to piss me off'

She’s threatened to report me to the police for 'manipulating and hacking' things in the house

She constantly lies

I probably missed some parts out but I really just try to ignore her behavior most of the time.

So basically it’s a quite fucked up situation and neither my father nor I know what to do. But its very straining to go though this madness every day , especially since I’m taking my a-levels at the moment.

What can I do to improve the situation? (We’re from Germany)",7.3065075626084806,7.366319781345568,7.325531862137371,74.02446441854703,63.724770642201825,10.250698404826847,34.03653194478883,9.901549036053794,3.270908141168692,2763,107,494,52,37,888,301,654,0.128,0.831,0.042,-0.9922,6,1,0,0,0,0,51.0,2,3,0,4,23,27,8,1,33,0,46,9,7,10,5,95,76,45,0,6,19,6,2,2,2,3,1,6,3,1,33,37,0,5,10,3,1,13,16,19,0,1,11,13,95,8,83,62,16,82,0,2,4,1,85,41,2,8,27,367,128,9,0.0,0.09137241475174324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798711610407023,0.0,0.0,0.06416849086435401,0.0,0.0,0.05244299651227674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865151661181643,0.0,0.0,0.07245505434041451,0.0,0.0,0.04701051743567043,0.08517095407994887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874626851903706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085692848696607,0.2500120180358956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942136553601425,0.14920450927655488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893370937958819,0.0,0.0789186573756921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600713894233362,0.10187164097343894,0.0,0.06497537986583965,0.0,0.0693088338531093,0.0,0.14540028473676642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048460545165053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059581302772025925,0.07129450062913699,0.040291058137574505,0.07397877069419767,0.2191401510298548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613822184984254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169068023868096,0.0,0.07735580705695921,0.0,0.0,0.17796801603535142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854616817939002,0.0,0.0,0.04238212652243793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535207979813384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777169716638836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196440459028008,0.05669072440774388,0.1715464259640717,0.1189565656506646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225726425615977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702291458882024,0.07361801433887298,0.05346402534264067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21870477739619876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314642491373919,0.07379166861283454,0.0,0.07752505573563423,0.08638999382090032,0.08202466085495892,0.0,0.0,0.04940387105075323,0.07929031735664363,0.0,0.0,0.08735984735353816,0.0,0.0,0.12265491978266385,0.0,0.07804769985105313,0.1843595783067539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913788283501838,0.2600521448494569,0.23152157564469306,0.0,0.1306839414389557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447423883874193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596652480881595,0.06198465962738054,0.1348093501928556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20493552775605006,0.09882841213044216,0.07576820529883227,0.0,0.1349046660691588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471634336742272,0.08388241818989264,0.0,0.0,0.09276365686335672,0.06660533376945507,0.0,0.06363056237143036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219935374957576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684288271933065,0.0,0.07858999825098929,0.05478253159733817,0.0,0.0,0.04966156966902715
mentalhealth,Lonelyfirespark,2018/04/20,"Can't take it anymore, I can't be fixed I feel right now that the only cure for my mental illness is death, I really want to die and I don't want my consciousness to exist after I die, I don't want anything, I am losing my mind.",1.291470588235292,2.2851667254902,3.958970588235297,89.38786764705885,77.82352941176471,6.6686274509803924,20.59313725490196,7.1686216300943375,0.40405490196078375,177,4,41,2,4,63,34,51,0.32299999999999995,0.589,0.08800000000000001,-0.9408,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,7,12,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,10,0,4,11,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,26,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566974238045712,0.0,0.0,0.21300135375432191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5372652870103957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087610668257854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895731524258547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26084749912347505,0.0,0.26135226742133466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685771701494972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581804379025206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210459618750155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19461372034184368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45800750440551796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lordani66,2018/04/20,"Depression, social phobia, anxiety, OCD, adaptive disorder - they do not lot me live I literally can't take my life any longer. I am a 26 year old and my mental problems make my life miserable, plus they block me from making things better. I have an engineer degree but I have been a NEET for a little over 2 years now. No friends, no one to talk to, don't go out, can't force myself to do ANYTHING (get off the bed in the morning, get out of the tub etc.). I still live with parents. If I go out (either force myself to because I wasn't outside for 3 weeks and my brain feels like it's melting or I have to do some things) and after I come back home, I feel depressed even more. IDK if it's the people that do this to me, or my mental problems (like social phobia) take so much energy from me especially when I'm outside, but after I come back I just feel like killing myself literally. And I would if only in my country I could get a gun but I can;'t. I used to go to a psychiatrist, this didn't happen, used to go to a osychologists (2) and they didn't help either.

Sorry if I write like alunatic but I feel strange in head.",1.6840997343143265,3.4621043218884147,3.6264132434089538,88.82483547925611,78.74248927038627,6.32650725526262,22.25403637849989,7.2636822038024595,0.7024843245452681,869,26,188,11,21,294,125,233,0.185,0.731,0.085,-0.9683,1,0,0,1,0,1,35.0,0,0,3,1,8,12,1,1,11,0,17,4,2,4,0,42,38,18,1,8,14,1,4,4,1,1,2,0,2,0,7,12,0,1,4,0,0,6,9,6,0,1,4,4,34,6,27,32,7,26,0,3,0,0,10,9,0,8,15,130,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780074908133919,0.0,0.08775368787378497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439747241645104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641153122314085,0.0,0.06992683009898924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014526580192094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805553994458338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976269341831909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158749002696803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760102799438284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146887421237569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127933214101517,0.07576560862154766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320055427401815,0.16389928485511915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862552176153209,0.0,0.17979546688143086,0.0,0.2607718773553289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014386588569964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772669664079312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688844139394177,0.0,0.11506459984500778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269108512576277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204770379648872,0.2241682231581436,0.11497067144978595,0.20258402970739756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752328661658934,0.0,0.0,0.1531411180578869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23120364419664025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432586727584045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203700171654567,0.0,0.07773121927617332,0.08724297092176198,0.0,0.0,0.12737311643214289,0.0,0.0,0.07952624264684552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952608715152336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338670686692379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840970006178182,0.0,0.0,0.09160844344496807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249696280354598,0.0922004478771954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524179333938833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814714290505375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201433600759316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148748383043497,0.0,0.0,0.147740392325918
mentalhealth,Androgymoose,2018/04/20,"Struggling with accepting that my ex went from best friend to now total hateful stranger, possibly even legally got screwed... how to forgive? So TLDR as it states in the title, my ex was my everything but always had some hints of selfishness and borderline sociopathy. We broke up last month. We worked on some business together last year but because he never put me down as his actual partner (while I provided 50% of all the effort) and he is closing down the company and transferring the funds over to his new company to hopefully make it back and pay off the investors, all while telling me how he is in a better place (he moved back to the Emirates with his folks) and how he's succeeding and that I need to deal with my own life now (I don't have a job now), I am filled with hate and anger towards him. I don't know how to process this hate, I don't know how to move past it (everything, the cheating, the lies, the selfishness, the victim blaming and berating, the fact I sacrificed a lot of my own time to make our things work and he thinks no one technically has the right to anything and he doesn't owe any apologies because he feels zero remorse for what he did). 

I'm so afraid that I can't move on and I have never hated anyone before so intensely. I just want to forgive, not for him, just for myself. We still speak, I think because his ego will not allow him to let me cut him off, he needs to be in control at all times. And he is visiting soon and a part of me wants to face him and tell him this, even though it probably will lead to more blind refusals and childish screeching and ignoring me just saying ""No"" on his part.

I hate that now anytime I talk to someone or go through my life I think exactly how he thought: he hates people, thinks in terms of transactions, gets super Nietzsche about things (everything we do is inherently selfish, etc). He was very good at emotionally manipulating me into seeing his reason because he gave good reasons, and he used them to discredit what I feel and the damage he has caused. I'm afraid I think like him now, I'm afraid of picking any job up because I remember him judging other people for just being cashiers or accountants, and I find myself obsessed with needing to show him I'm happier than he is (just as he messaged his ex about his successes and got severely pissed when she didn't care). I feel a mix of anger and desire to take revenge, all things so opposite of me (I like being around people and it takes years for someone to actually wear me down enough for me to crack (he's the only one who has)).


I am in dire need of help. I called a suicide line a few days ago because I broke down and had no one to speak to. I don't regret anything but him, how close we got. He also happens to be my first and now I believe I was manipulated into it and didn't even realize it. My life would have been better had he never stepped forward. I came out of this losing.

Edit: Added Info",6.365445512820513,5.868976866666671,6.728405448717947,79.3841466346154,65.8034188034188,10.047542735042736,33.49492521367522,9.516144504307137,2.8786848290598286,2317,89,465,40,32,753,272,585,0.194,0.698,0.108,-0.9964,4,0,0,0,0,1,66.0,6,0,1,13,35,43,13,5,21,0,38,8,3,19,10,116,83,49,1,10,12,3,3,2,2,3,4,3,0,1,21,42,0,3,20,1,4,13,16,27,0,5,17,8,72,16,77,58,18,71,0,5,2,1,71,29,2,6,32,323,93,11,0.0,0.0,0.13297164270522893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060393833011609076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448416675262474,0.05669027367189305,0.0,0.0,0.09266254463548948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763863126769366,0.0,0.11213166722913134,0.0606508461129533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477674141117878,0.0,0.24919137691915724,0.0,0.05797428273542157,0.07676006758652427,0.07149905893812003,0.12051229124370387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695691522872396,0.07792347151474226,0.06946387930508191,0.06998908702734695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641447230660403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04393872210505274,0.07023985107813119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663796663358648,0.0,0.0703973167752054,0.07598383846496135,0.1349992292571713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369467815528093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334692092874144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227030617185918,0.057952013685155665,0.0,0.0,0.05263767800015992,0.0,0.03559552486870297,0.0,0.03872029704000274,0.11428974549004033,0.16347124570066346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060247831048598176,0.0,0.0,0.4035902894474904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566663123201125,0.0,0.0,0.06766924552248893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521858918019078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488579890191846,0.11107137144615882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966834699296644,0.14436837183406967,0.06657052344479404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622092487674535,0.0,0.057922359794438875,0.0,0.0,0.0909556604090358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438134517958308,0.21723673714249453,0.0,0.2020724648362824,0.1576399920965925,0.06580113984658563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850155608093662,0.05181653455890056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755800876684305,0.06503854654887042,0.14169993032946654,0.0,0.07118217282748332,0.0,0.0,0.07680722691857766,0.0,0.0,0.07345651299737534,0.0,0.0,0.06849026004635662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009959498599872,0.0,0.0,0.07717890178960089,0.058183320909549766,0.0,0.05418033739005949,0.0,0.0,0.05429141731642048,0.0,0.0,0.0769683980703907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154539915915572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440933550864694,0.0,0.0,0.07122509266429705,0.0,0.07452402427667693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024517475732337,0.054760946851055696,0.11909862384200842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578920507274353,0.21827729056604964,0.06693815354172611,0.054088235591648805,0.07945522104966468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058843126097199674,0.0,0.0562150355438184,0.08037060824142359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315792328563341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099200050566964,0.0,0.0,0.048398157208609516,0.0,0.0,0.08774798776129124
mentalhealth,silverace579,2018/04/20,College counseling Has anybody found college counselors to be helpful? I feel like I would benefit from some kind of therapy but don’t have the money for a professional therapist. I am currently enrolled in a university in the United States. If anybody has any experience with counselors at universities and how they helped or didn’t help I would very much appreciate it. ,7.170769230769231,9.513321461538466,7.633846153846152,63.48615384615386,65.15384615384616,11.353846153846154,40.692307692307686,11.20814326018867,5.603369230769231,305,18,45,10,5,100,53,65,0.0,0.7509999999999999,0.249,0.942,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,1,0,11,11,5,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,5,3,8,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,2,34,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767111480027842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555701159058168,0.0,0.0,0.13210488822509067,0.18664982267432592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864667403951653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.525367049572076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27207028766032504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764228696504706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206195057906947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987825856968803,0.3033521410219687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155733597193315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711944056515543,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,riverisaberry,2018/04/20,"Does Anyone Have Chronic Hyperventilation Syndrome? I believe I may have it, I've been trying to see my doctor but her soonest appointment is on May 2nd so I've been calling every day for a same day apt with no luck so far... ANYWAYS, I recently found out about it and I'm wondering if there is something I can do to help myself until I can see my doctor. I have anxiety meds but they haven't helped *at all* with the breathing or the anxiety from it. I have an ativan from an ER trip a while back but I don't know if I should use it yet. I'm so stressed about all of this, I feel like I can't breathe and I know it's all in my head.

*Edited to fix typos",-0.3135794743429265,1.8160793191489368,2.2064080100125167,94.01647058823532,89.1418439716312,5.019774718397998,19.641635377555282,6.522977012572876,0.0935495202336254,508,16,117,6,17,174,86,141,0.083,0.8370000000000001,0.081,0.1842,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,1,6,0,17,6,3,1,3,25,27,13,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,3,3,18,2,16,21,4,13,0,0,2,0,5,5,0,7,8,84,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872758026278169,0.0,0.0,0.13128799960430984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437787588431786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154419123205612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191726642745785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24218273182227484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384366024789132,0.16431234658981309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819811753744092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493842954020516,0.134137663463786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058720370913056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269863231758586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517066718154985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063788667931533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173133886411457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856195865621194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539294952257704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992450196607302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454884913984364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508146321192773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274785036296493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216663053047276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20362056748534416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eshmaalfatin,2018/04/20,"Psychiatrist in Dubai & Abu Dhabi - General Psychiatry  If you are suffering from issues that are having a serious impact on your life, seeing an experienced [Psychiatrist](https://www.euromedclinicdubai.com/psychiatric-clinic-dubai/general-psychiatry/) can be the first step towards improvement and recovery. Psychiatry is a branch of science which deals with the analysis, diagnosis, therapies, and prevention of mental disorders and behavioral changes. 

[Top Psychiatrist in Dubai - Psychiatrist](https://i.redd.it/tfmuinvzf0t01.jpg)",18.58544117647059,21.80188842647059,14.813529411764707,19.135882352941195,39.73529411764706,19.74117647058824,53.764705882352935,16.52667757954773,11.168723529411764,455,25,38,22,4,137,56,68,0.068,0.885,0.047,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,8,6,0,7,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,1,1,28,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436714489978904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355412681306002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270053622293834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36352321802306736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697986817477278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310603068054747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240382109844033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31964939709322915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25275658067319257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627304150807796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themonstrumologist,2018/04/20,"My best friend just brought this to my attention... She told me she hates bringing her problems to me because I make them about myself without realizing. But that’s just my way of attempting to relate to people I guess - it’s really hard for me to feel empathy so I try to compensate, but I guess that’s been hurting her. I feel like a shit friend and I don’t know what to do.

Side note: my mom, a psychiatric nurse, suspects I may have autism (it would explain a Lot of my behavior). When I brought this up to my friend....well, it’s obvious she doesn’t believe my concerns. She told me I don’t “act autistic”. I told her that it’s a spectrum but instead of accepting that, she said she’s going to sleep and told me to forget everything she said and to forget about her problems, which kind of set off guilt trip alarm bells in my head. I don’t...even know where to begin. Do I confront her or do I fix myself? I don’t even know who’s in the wrong here.",0.995289115646262,3.1985684948979625,2.559183673469388,93.33819727891157,83.43877551020408,5.978231292517008,22.59863945578231,7.2636822038024595,0.7725741496598642,739,26,163,11,21,241,102,196,0.185,0.737,0.078,-0.9598,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,2,10,15,3,2,5,0,11,3,3,1,1,31,32,9,0,3,7,1,3,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,13,3,0,0,10,0,0,6,5,9,0,0,9,5,42,6,24,21,2,16,0,1,0,0,24,6,1,5,3,112,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811042316423076,0.0,0.0,0.1498984366004692,0.13962464456076815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575261064926326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957408729595324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345451470777521,0.09504882136141822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083754048135339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561369047076158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931325961454169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918400144819223,0.13135639253903414,0.13654463188624613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242959218239346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854800288076027,0.21935749664996476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500005603044409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311182298803142,0.0,0.0,0.08880992242424247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582306786074832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922380550661534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546160693779813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523333118402722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531163767868633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657085939401306,0.0,0.0,0.13314311013469374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5085285365979173,0.0,0.09033019665044828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560653574614128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825258446420645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451278937107037,0.14546603594522986,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scndplace,2018/04/20,"Why do I get depressed instead of sad? i wanna start by first of all saying i know the difference between depression and sadness. i know i’m not struggling with depression because it is not constant, for the most part i’m very happy and can take care of myself, but when i get “sad” i actually get depressed instead. i don’t go to bed to cry, i lay in bed for hours and hours and feel like my body is too heavy to move, i stop taking care of myself and start smelling bad, i feel completely empty and meaningless and hopeless. i know i’m not depressed because these spells don’t last for more than a day or two, so i think it’s just how my brain processes “sadness”. i want to know if this happens to anybody else or if it’s common. thank you so much!
edit: ok lol not depression i’m just stupid lmfao i knew i wasn’t depressed but i honestly didn’t know how other people react to sadness bc most people i know cry and shit so idk",1.5549753289473642,3.657595796875005,3.2239692982456165,89.94690789473688,80.61458333333334,5.917105263157895,24.167763157894736,7.0608816371341465,0.9567875,731,27,152,9,19,242,105,192,0.326,0.535,0.139,-0.9939,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,1,0,1,11,24,2,1,3,2,8,3,3,3,1,40,35,20,0,4,12,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,9,0,1,10,0,0,2,8,17,0,2,3,4,22,7,19,32,6,14,0,13,0,0,2,1,1,6,12,95,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.10033564052245887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584882444216728,0.12535392713408922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114207737944359,0.0,0.1147790111506984,0.0,0.0,0.20965982464999947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780282875753523,0.11110984662245756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258817246525862,0.06630917294030582,0.0,0.6198995929328892,0.0,0.0,0.10742303786166664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589133487944686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397584824804576,0.07345327602428711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745702909839652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115465138766685,0.0,0.05843389952459044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909217122593654,0.10945178655720923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20251024808646867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390368553474103,0.0838104799717576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050231733427221315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109279375776482,0.07558313888282042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134199008626372,0.0,0.14256225846200155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176508532432797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554130906892567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455503703548649,0.0,0.0,0.08596054115419098,0.0,0.10748780940588784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461284084747864,0.0,0.0,0.09466109867037333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658816912084075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043835026420722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483570607284092,0.06064478330134776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277734903120996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anniehall330,2018/04/20,"What are the events that made you traumatised and possible caused you your mental problem? When I was in elementary there was a P.E. teacher a drunk fuck who fatshamed me in front of my whole class and of course I always get I am fat from bullies. I wasn't really fat looking back my photos. I swimmed for years ( the nursenat my school told us that swimming causes obesity because the seals have a thick layer of fat) So I gave up swimming and become anorexic at the age 11 for 2 years and I was like a skeleton. Once I had heart problems I realised this can't go on and started to eat for my health. And the worst thing is : when I put on some weight that sick fuck teacher who I have already mentioned started to spread rumors about me taking drugs and how fat I got. Since then I have a huge fear of people seeing me fat that's why I am really anxious with boys in real life and hasn't had a real relationship yet. I had dates during a dating app and I feel awful before the dates because I am afraid of they will find me fat. I just don't know how to get over with this anxiety. 
In high school the bullying and the feeling of being the outsider continued. I tried way to hard to fit in. I started to cut myself. I went to a therapist because I couldn't bear with my mental pain and self-destructions anymore.
But it made it worse, my literature teacher who was close ""friend"" of the family told the whole class I go to a shrink because I was cutting myself. The whole class rumored about me after till graduation...
And some teacher always told me I am not good enough to be in the university I wanted to attend. 
I had no protection from my family. My father didn't really care about these things and my mother is an alcoholic who always was on the teacher's side and even made it worse the whole situation for me, authorizing this sick bastards type of teachers to torture me even more because they can. So I have never told anyone these thing yet and I couldn't stand out for myself. I feel range inside and I want to stand out for myself but whenever I am in a conflict my legs start shaking.
So thanks to these nice people who are for the children's well-being and my caring and loving family. I developed: panic attacks( used to have 6 in a day), anxiety and bipolar disorder.
I have always felt myself an outsider, lots of people like me like I am always cheerful and funny and a good listener but I feel like no one really knows me or my personality and I can't let people close to me. I am distant to everybody, one part of me so people don't really cling to me.
Sorry for my anger but I felt it's easier to release my personal bad memories here and I am interested in other people's ""adventures"" too.
I am just scared sometimes that maybe these people ruined my self-esteem and my life forever and I will be never happy because of these cruel ones because childhood is very determining.",4.084418604651162,5.5021312891986085,5.3425273478648405,80.53505915241878,71.47386759581882,8.126991329713963,27.111903411392927,8.638961771785754,2.0179882991653844,2296,79,434,40,43,765,256,574,0.166,0.7490000000000001,0.085,-0.9881,0,0,2,0,0,2,48.0,1,3,2,0,21,36,9,5,30,1,46,24,8,8,2,71,85,40,0,6,8,2,9,4,1,2,16,2,0,4,27,32,11,2,9,4,0,10,14,20,0,3,24,13,82,16,64,53,11,61,0,1,2,3,29,24,3,4,28,317,109,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637424832340796,0.0,0.0,0.0685373967057383,0.0,0.2583929288903878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502444842498692,0.07016402822295778,0.061594154371131374,0.04342715130582124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065648042404403,0.0,0.04775699134832065,0.051857339307556,0.2650219628874691,0.0685930804501187,0.05284908237707857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664588870826055,0.12760344246725186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040054331584765054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118081051507011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202521973245576,0.06355168726506696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417386154404263,0.0,0.08204310660084249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564885005967934,0.06988843492382021,0.12561408679561278,0.04436975675315216,0.11926627288572733,0.0,0.05676531705517372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798425870077923,0.11483514468359628,0.06489742476424111,0.0,0.07059447987553186,0.10418599229289044,0.04967320521379792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611480669882669,0.05563630434738006,0.0,0.0,0.06601758596626355,0.0,0.07359792928187739,0.0,0.06562020012157936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826554065536987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350933613287425,0.08773701735444134,0.12137074962963153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05215482984718847,0.0,0.0,0.0528017496692678,0.05605462847205656,0.17630343608610824,0.0,0.0,0.06239553736277977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517991719750765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580258159473658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614267868696294,0.12625736449521868,0.0,0.0660869768771031,0.07287000978661683,0.0,0.06725659199878209,0.0,0.3014036371661127,0.10846010453492827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700171053620429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885737142165632,0.0,0.06243539763547387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413843304481632,0.19893893042166805,0.0,0.0,0.06668043184711861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062180647329609186,0.12571262615667575,0.04949179965224094,0.0,0.12958376268727104,0.0,0.0,0.05137613525361875,0.06981166246003156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142610818462095,0.0695244907447018,0.17584061263220538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669726464649563,0.0,0.0,0.05718043019077668,0.0,0.07211183227951742,0.12378479812433775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373862941981184,0.0,0.042167054735006634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470792181220161,0.05364111588284773,0.0,0.051245360944680865,0.07326546694904992,0.04929820523267814,0.0,0.07563045259182027,0.05584228549389455,0.057574464624609675,0.05604254338984107,0.2773641378753518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658611449965884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999065128210664